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The present translation has been made from the text of MM. de 
Montaiglon and Lacour. Their text is a careful reprint of the edition of 
the two first Books, as revised by Rabelais for the Lyons printer F. Juste 
in 1542, and of the Third and Fourth Books for the Paris printer Michael 
Fezandat in 1552. In the Fifth Book these editors print the interesting 
1 6th century MS. which was discovered about 1840 by the late Biblio- 
phile Jacob (Paul Lacroix) in the Bibliothfeque Nationals The list of 
variants from the earliest editions has been employed for the purpose of 
indicating the important changes introduced by Rabelais to disarm the 
susceptibilities of the Sorbonne. 

Excellent work in the emendation of the text has been achieved 
during the last fifty years in France. Besides his discovery of the MS., 
much was done by Lacroix, whose handy little edition with short notes 
in one volume has deservedly commanded an immense sale in France. 
It is a pity the type is not better and more legible. M. Burgaud des 
Marets, whose researches have done much to establish a correct text 
from the oldest editions, and also for the elucidation and explanation of 
his author's meaning, deserves great praise, and it is a pleasing task to 
record most grateful thanks to him for invaluable assistance, as well as 
to his coadjutor M. E.-J. Rathery, for the careful and exhaustive life of 
Rabelais prefixed to their joint edition. The contribution of M. Louis 
Moland in the unpretentious volume published by Gamier Freres, giving 
a corrected text, a lucid and judicious life of Rabelais, interesting docu- 
ments and useful bibliographical notes, has been found very serviceable. 

By a strange fatality, which I much regret, the edition of M. Marty- 
Laveaux did not fall into my hands till my first volume was printed off 


and the second volume nearly all in type. This edition gives the most 
conscientiously exact text, and exceedingly useful notes. Fortunately, 
I find myself in considerable agreement with M. Marty-Laveaux in 
matters bibliographical, as well as in the use made of previous com- 
mentaries. The notes on the two first Books in his edition are much 
fuller than those on the later Books, and I have placed in the addenda 
at the end of the first volume a few extracts from this commentary, 
besides one or two illustrations which subsequent reading has supplied 
to me. 

To the learned labours of Duchat every reader of an annotated 
Rabelais must be deeply indebted. He was a French Huguenot refugee 
living in Berlin, who devoted himself with great zeal to writing com- 
mentaries on the French literature of the 15 th and 16th centuries. His 
great work was his Rabelais, of which the last and most complete 
edition was published at Amsterdam in 174 1. It is a very handsome 
book in three volumes 4 , containing the text with elaborate notes, the 
letters with the commentary of the brothers Sainte-Marthe, the translation 
of Motteux' notes by De Missy, and other matter of a less important 
nature. Although Urquhart and Motteux' had written notes more or less 
continuous in explanation of their translation, no attempt at a detailed 
commentary seems to have been made before Duchat's edition. He 
was admirably fitted for his task by his wide erudition, knowledge of 
the French language and literature and of the manners and customs of 
the various parts of France, as well as by the zeal which he brought to 
bear on his subject. His first edition was published in 171 1. 

It would be ungrateful not to record considerable obligation to the 
variorum edition of Esmangart and Johanneau (Paris 1823). This 
edition incorporates the notes of Duchat, some from Motteux, De 
Marsy and others, besides giving original notes on antiquarian, linguistic 
and other subjects, as well as a voluminous historical commentary, the 
value of which, however, is marred by a kind of hallucination which 
seems to beset these writers that the characters in Rabelais' romance 
are intended for almost exact counterparts of historical personages 

Very great help has been obtained from the German translation and 
commentary of Gottlob Regis (Leipsic 1832-41). The notes are in a 


great measure judiciously chosen extracts from those of the variorum 
edition, to which are added excellent notes by Regis himself, besides 
apt illustrations from the English dramatists, from Burton, Swift and 
Sterne, as well as from Cervantes, Goethe and other writers. The 
introduction to this commentary is very valuable, giving, besides a life 
of the Author, an account of the editions up to 1836, of the translations 
into various languages, and a chronological summary of the historical 
events, etc, during Rabelais' life. A large number of passages from 
Greek and Latin authors which are translated, adapted or alluded to 
in the text are given in extenso in this laborious commentary, which 
thus extends to 960 pages in addition to the 230 pages of introduction. 
While I acknowledge great indebtedness to this conscientious work, it 
must reluctantly be confessed that the bulky volume has served some- 
what as a negative example. 

As to the translation itself, although it has been made independently, 
it has been made with Urquhart lying open and compared paragraph 
by paragraph. Without hesitation a happy turn or rare word has been 
adopted from the old rendering. Often it was curious to note how the 

translations of a paragraph would prove almost identical word for word, 


till a closer examination of the text shewed that there could hardly be 
any variation in a faithful version. The excellence of Urquhart and 
Motteux' translation is generally acknowledged, and a new one would 
have been unnecessary had the rendering been even. Urquhart's work 
in the first two Books is much the best, and occasionally Motteux in the 
later Books reaches that level, but not unfrequently these translators 
betray an inclination to amplify unnecessarily, and that in those parts of 
the book which modern readers would scarcely wish to see enlarged. 
Speaking generally, Motteux is much more diffuse than Urquhart, and 
seems to shew a pride in parading his knowledge of the strong proverbial 
English expressions of which he had so wonderful a mastery. 

With regard to a plan which has been adopted in this translation, of 
leaving some five chapters in the original French, exception may be 
taken. In a book which must contain the whole in some form, it is a 
question whether a very small portion may not well be left untranslated 
when the matter is too offensive, especially when the romance is in no 
wise helped forward by these chapters. An obvious objection is that, 


by leaving them in the French, special attention is drawn to what is 
desirable should pass without notice, in the same way as the coarse parts 
of Plautus, for instance, are relegated to the end of the book by them- 
selves in the Delphin edition. This objection would be of weight if the 
present translation were likely to fall into the hands of schoolboys. As 
it is intended for readers who would neither be scandalised nor allured 
by such a quasi-omission, it may well be that the notes appended to 
these chapters will be all they will care to see of them. Certain it is, 
that this translation of Rabelais, at first a pleasing pastime, when only 
selected chapters were translated for the purpose of getting a thorough 
knowledge of the book, became anything but agreeable when a com- 
pliance with the suggestions of too partial friends induced the comple- 
tion of the work. As it is, much had to be written from which one's 
feelings and pen recoiled, and it is hoped that a repugnance to put into 
English certain most undesirable matter may not be judged hardly. 

It is a pleasing duty to record thanks to many friends who have 
kindly encouraged and helped me in the progress of my work, particularly 
to Mr. Walter Besant, without whose suggestion and help this book 
would not have seen the light ; to Mr. J. Bass Mullinger, Lecturer in 
History in St John's College, who has greatly assisted me in a variety 
of ways ; to Mr. R. Pendlebury, Fellow of St. John's, to whom I am 
indebted for help in matters of astronomy and musical history; to 
Professor Macalister in some points in anatomy ; to Mr. A. A. Tilley, 
Fellow of King's College, for suggestions and assistance in matters 
biographical and bibliographical ; to Mr. £. H. Acton, Fellow of St. 
John's College, for some careful notes on Botanical questions. For the 
carefully-drawn map of Chinonais prefixed to this volume I have to 
thank the skill and sympathy of Mr. A. G. Dew-Smith of Trinity College. 

In common, I suspect, with many others, I have much reason to be 
grateful to the vigilance and care of Messrs. Clark's reader, who has 
shewn great interest in my translation, and has been suggestive in 
several points, which I have greatly appreciated. If, as I fear may be 
the case, some inaccuracies are detected in the many cross-references 
in the book, the blame must be laid on the weakness of my eye- 
sight, which has been unequal to the long-continued strain involved in 
correcting proofs. 


The references to Greek and Latin authors given by Duchat and 
others have been for the most part placed in the margin. They have 
been made more exact and accurate, and considerably increased in 
number. The chapters, paragraphs, sections, etc., are those in common 
use. Teubner's texts have generally been employed. In Pliny's 
Natural History the books, chapters, and paragraphs have been cited, 
and in the case of a long paragraph the place has been indicated more 
closely by the sections of Sillies edition. 

In the investigation of historical and archaeological matters I have 
found of great service Mullinger's History of the University of Cambridge, 
in points connected with the Schoolmen, Erasmus, etc. ; Altmeyer's Les 
Precurseurs de la Rkforme aux Pays Bos (Brussels 1886); Chancellor 
Christie's charming book Etienne Dolet, which throws a clear light on 
many places ; Fleury's Rabelais et ses osuvres ; Dubouchet's F. Rabelais 
a Montpellier ; Heulhard's Rabelais, ses voyages en Italic, son exit £ Metz \ 
J. C. Brunei's Recherches sur les kditions de Rabelais, and other books 
which it is unnecessary to specify more nearly. 

For the history generally I have consulted Ranke's History of the 
Popes, Robertson's Charles V., Roscoe's Life of Leo X., and Brantome 
(ed. Lalanne, published by the Sociltl de l'Histoire de France). 

It may be useful to indicate the editions of some of the earlier, 
contemporary and later writers used in illustrating or explaining the 
author's language. 

La Farce de Maistre Pathelin (Lacroix), Bibliophile Jacob, 1876. 
Francois Villon, „ „ 1877. 

Paris 1723. 

Ed. Elzev. 1873. 

Ed. Elzev. 1857. 

Paris 1874. 

Ed. Elzev. 

Paris 1874. 


Paris 1875. 

Mantua 1882. 

Paris 1875. 

Cretin, ... the second edition, 
Sainct-Gelais, . Blanchemain, 

Coquillart, d'H&icault, 

Charles d'Orl&ms, . d'H&icault, 

Pohies inkdites du XV*** et XVI im * Sides, 
Dcs Periers, . Lacour, 

Cttment Marot, Gamier Frferes, 

Contes d'Eutrapel, . Hippeau, 

Merlin Coccai, Portioli, 

Le Disciple de Pantagruel, Lacroix, 


LHeptamiron, . J ^ * °<" de U ™* \ . Paris 1880. 

( et de Montaiglon J 

Apologu pour HirodotC) Liseux, Paris 1879. 

Epistola Passavantit] „ Paris 1875. 

Agrippa, de vanitaU ScUntiarum, . Cologne 1531. 

„ de occulta philosophta, Cologne 155 1. 

Regnier, . . Gamier Frferes, . Paris. 

Le Moyen de Parvenir, „ Paris. 

Proverbes Franfais t . Le Roux de Lincy, . Paris, 2d ed. 185 

Ambroise Pard, . Malgaigne, . Paris 1840-1. 

In the notes the letters (R) and (M) are used for Regis and Burgai 
des Marets respectively. 


Rabelais was known in England either in the original or in partial 
translations very early, as may be seen in allusions in the dramatists 
and in Bacon, who refers to him in two of his Apophthegms (1624) 
as well as in his De Augmentis Scientiarum, vi. 1 (1623), where he 
alludes to the Formicarium artiutn in the Library of St Victor (ii. 7). 
Burton also alludes to and quotes him in his Anatomy of Melancholy. 

The well-known expression in As You Like It, iii. 2, 238 (1600), 
"You must borrow me Gargantua's mouth," seems to point to the fact 
that Rabelais was known to Shakespeare. Steevens' note on this passage 
deserves consideration : " On the register of the Stationers' Company 
are two items, showing that in 1592 [April 6] was entered 'Gargantua 
his prophesied and in 1594 [Dec 4] 'A booke entituled the historie of 
Gargantua, etc' " Shakespeare, however, may have known only of the 
great Giant by hearsay, and have seen neither of these books. A passage 
in Twelfth Mght (ii. 3, 22) seems to me possibly borrowed from the 
speech of Kissbreech before Pantagruel (ii. n, ad init.): "When thou 
spokest of Pigrogromitus, of the Vapians passing the equinoctial of 
Queubus." In John Cook's Green's Tu Quoque (prob. 1600) occurs: 
" Here's a bit indeed ! What's this to a Gargantua stomach ? " (Dodsley, 
viL p. 73). Ben Jonson has in Every Man in his Humour, ii. 1 (1596): 
" Your Gargantua breech cannot carry it away so " ; and in Every Man 
out of his Humour, L 1 (1599): "Debt? Why, that's more to your 
credit, sir . . . than if you gave them a new year's gift" (Cf. Pant. 
iiL 3.) South in his Sermon on Ingratitude, preached before the 
University of Oxford 1675, on the text of Judges viii. 34, 35, seems in- 
debted for a fine passage to this same chapter on lending and borrowing. 
In the Second Book of Bishop Hall's Satires (ii. 1, 57) the translator of 


"Gargantua" in Laneham's Narrative of Q. Elizabeth's Entertainment 
at Kenilworth Castle in ijfj is censured thus : 

But who conjured us, etc. . . . 

Or wicked Rablais' dronken reveltings 

To grace the misrule of our tavcrnings? 

The catalogue of the Bodleian Library (1738) has the following 
entries : 

Francis Rabelais, M.D. 

First Book of his works into English. Lond. 1653. 

The three first Books into English out of French, by Sir Tho. Urchard and others. 
Lond. 1694. 

The Fourth and Fifth Books translated into English by PeL Motteux. Lond. 1694. 

The first complete translation of the whole was published in 1708 in 
two volumes; containing, besides, the 16 letters of Rabelais from Rome. 
The following was the title: 

The whole works of F. Rabelais M.D. in two volumes, Or the Lives 
Heroic Deeds and Sayings of Gargantua and Pantagruel. Done out of 
French, by Sir Thomas Urchard Knight, M. Motteux and Others. With 
a large Account of the Life and Works of the Author : Particularly an 
Explanation of the most difficult passages in them ; never before published 
in any Language. London : printed for James Woodward in Thread- 
needle Strut near St. Christopher's Church MDCCVIIL 

In the first volume, containing the first three Books, smaller type is 
used from p. 306 to p. 532, the end. The second volume, containing the 
Fourth and Fifth Books, etc, is put down as translated by M. Motteux. 

The commentary of Urquhart to the three first Books is in a con- 
tinuous form, whereas Motteux gives notes chapter for chapter. This 
translation was published in a corrected form by Ozell in 1727, four 
times in the 18th century and afterwards in 1807. 

The translation, as Regis remarks, is somewhat raw, but at the same 
time spirited, and done into idiomatic English. It is, however, to be 
remarked that Rabelais' style, when translated quite literally, lends itself 
readily to a translation of that kind, something in the nature of the English 
adopted by the translators of our Bible ; and at times, when Rabelais is 
anatomical or "Hellenistic," to that of Sir Thomas Browne, whose 
learning is encyclopaedic, like his own, and whose manner is quaint 
and pedantic, although I do not think those charges can well be laid 
at Rabelais' door, seeing that he was then like Teiresias in the lower 
world, according to the Odyssey (x. 495), the wise one among the flitting 
shades, whereas a century later the case was to some extent altered, and 





moreover Browne was writing almost exclusively for the learned, Rabelais 
for the Court, the Universities and the people. 

Very sound though unobtrusive work was done in the elucidation of 
our author by Randle Cotgrave in his French Dictionary, published first 
in 1611, and dedicated to William Cecil, Lord Burleigh, Elizabeth's 
Prime Minister. In this is embodied a Glossary of a very large 
number of Rabelaisian words, often marked " Rab." Cotgrave was a 
good French scholar and an excellent Lexicographer, and had the great 
advantage of living much nearer the times of the writer. He is often 
quoted as an authority both by French and English writers. M. des 
Marets defers to him considerably in his notes, and he is constantly 
referred to by modern English Lexicographers. 

Urquhart made great use of Cotgrave, but, after the manner of his 
time, in translating a single word of the French he often empties all the 
synonyms given by Cotgrave into his version, and so is guilty of need- 
less expansion. Following upon, or rather going beyond, this example, 
Motteux not only gives many words as a rendering of one, but foists in 
a lot of his own varied English vocabulary, which may perhaps be 
dubbed as spirited and racy, but is not Rabelais. 

Sir Thomas Urquhart l (or Urchard, or Urwhart, as it is sometimes 
spelled) was a most fantastic and original Scotchman, the representative of 
a very old family who " enjoyed not only the office of hereditary Sheriff- 
Principal of the Shire of Cromarty, but the far greater part if not the whole 
of the said shire did belong to them, either in property or superiority, and 
they possessed a considerable estate besides in the Shire of Aberdeen" 
{System of Heraldry, voL ii. p. 274). These great possessions and 
privileges descended unimpaired through a long line of ancestors to 
Urquhart's father, Thomas Urquhart of Cromarty, who was born in 1582. 
He succeeded his father, Henry Urquhart, April 13, 1603, and his grand- 
father, Walter Urquhart, May n, 1607, and it is recorded that he received 
the estate from his guardian "without any burden of debt, how little 
soever, or provision of brother, sister, or any other of his kindred or 
allyance wherewith to affect it." 

A short time before his majority, T. Urquhart married Christian, 
daughter of Alexander, fourth Lord Elphinston, who at that time was High 
Treasurer of Scotland; and as he held that office only from June 24, 1 599, 
till September 5, 1601, the alliance must have taken place during the inter- 
mediate period — probably in 1600. Lord Elphinston required his son-in- 
law to leave his estate to the heir of the marriage " in the same freedom 
and entirenesse every way that it was left unto himself, which before many 
noble men and others he solemnly promised to doe to the utmost of his 
power 11 {Logopandecteision, ed. 1652, p. 42 (T. W.)). 

1 Derived mainly from the preface to Cromarty, published for the Maitland 
The Works of Sir Thomas Urquhart of Society 1834. 



Notwithstanding this, Thomas Urquhart, who was knighted at Edin- 
burgh in 1617 by James the Sixth, was unable to carry it out, and from 
this time till his death in 1642 he got into great pecuniary embarrass- 
ment, and moreover was troubled by family dissensions. 

Sir T. Urquhart was the eldest son of the family, and was born in the 
fifth year of the marriage of his parents. This would make his birth to 
fall in or about 1605. His youth was devoted to study of various kinds 
rather than field sports, which were the amusements of the other members 
of his family. At the same time he shews that he was not wanting in 
personal activity or spirit for manly exercises. 

Like his father, he was an Episcopalian and a Royalist, but more than 
all an ardent Scotchman. When abroad he was led by this patriotism 
" thrice to enter the lists against men of three several nations to vindicate 
his native country from the calumnies wherewith they had aspersed it, 
wherein it pleased God so to conduct his fortune " that he succeeded in 
disarming his adversaries. He does not say where this took place, but he 
writes that in his travels he visited France, Spain, Italy, and Sicily. 

On returning from his travels he was present on the side of the Barons, 
who were then in arms against the Covenanters, at the Trott of Turreffm 
1639. A few weeks later he embarked at Aberdeen for England, and 
entered the service of Charles I., by whom he was knighted April 7, 
1 64 1. At this time he published his epigrams, and remained in England 
till 1642, when he returned at his father's death. Finding the family 
in a most disordered condition, he set apart the whole rents of his estate, 
with the exception of his mother's jointure, for the payment of the debts, 
and leaving the management of his affairs in the hands of friends as 
trustees, he repaired to the continent, hoping at his return to find his 
estates unencumbered. 

In this he was doomed to bitter disappointment, and on his return to 
Scotland in 1645 he took up his abode in the ancient family mansion of 

Much of Urquhart's writings is taken up with accounts and complaints 
of the difficulties and hardships which he encountered in endeavouring to 
clear his father's estates. He appears, moreover, to have been cruelly 
oppressed by an ancient enemy of their house, Leslie of Findrassie, who 
seems to have left nothing undone to distress him. He went so far as to 
get Urquhart arrested as prisoner of war "till he were contented in all 
his demands" {Log. v. p. 16). It is not known how long he was 
imprisoned, but it is generally stated that he made his escape from the Tower 
to the continent, where he died suddenly in a fit of excessive laughter on 
hearing of the restoration of Charles II. in 1660. [This looks something 
like an imitation of Rabelais in his account of the death of Philemon.] 

He took part in the battle of Worcester in 165 1, where he lost his 
papers, particularly the MS. of The Exquisite Jewel and Logopandecteision % 
which were restored to him subsequently, and published in the years 1652 
and 1653 respectively. 

His epigrams were published in 1641. The Trissotetras in 1645. 
This is a would-be scientific book, but appears to be a wonderful jumble 
of Trigonometry and Memoria Technica, more confusing and unintelligible 
than the most abstruse speculation would be. 

After the battle of Worcester he published the Havro\povoxavov ; or, 


Promptuary of Time, the MS. of which was found among the spoil and 
restored to him by Captain Goodwin. This work proposes to deduce the 
genealogy of the Urquharts from the " red earth " in the hands of the 
Creator, from which Adam was made, to the year 1652, when the book was 

In the same year was printed in London 'Eo-tcvfidXavpov ; or, The Dis- 
covery of a most Exquisite Jewel. The book is described in the title-page 
as " more precious than diamonds enchassed in gold, the like whereof was 
never seen in any age," and it is said to have been " found in the Kennel of 
Worcester-streets the day after the fight." This is the most interesting 
of Urquhart's works. It is professedly a vindication of the honour of 
Scotland against the slanders of the Presbyterians, but it abounds in 
curious notices of various Scotchmen, especially his favourite hero the 
Admirable Crichton. This part is written in a euphuistic rhapsodical vein,. 
and affords an indication of the saturation of Urquhart's mind with the 
style of Rabelais. It might almost be pieced together from the meeting of 
Pantagruel with the Limosin Scholar, the discomfiture of Thaumast by 
Panurge, and the meeting of Pantagruel and his party with Queen- 

In 1653 Urquhart published his Logopandecteision ; or, An Introduction 
to the Universal Language. The author describes it as " now lately con- 
trived and published, both for his own utilitie and that of all pregnant and 
ingenious spirits." The plan for an universal language is rather indicated 
than fully developed in the first Book of his work, entitled Neaudethaumata/ 
or, Wonders of the New Speech, the remaining Books being chiefly occupied 
with domestic details descriptive of his own hardships and difficulties. 
Their subjects are — 

Chrestasebeia ; or, The Impious Dealing of Creditors. 

Cleronomaporia; or, The Intricacy of a Distressed Successor or an Apparent Heir, 

Chryseotnystes ; or, The Covetous Preacher. 

NeUodicastes ; or. The Pitiless fudge. 

Philoponauxesis ; or, Furtherance of Industry. 

These topics are illustrated by a great variety of personal anecdotes and 
local notices, and the work concludes with a fanciful summary of the 
author's demands or " proquiritations " from the State. 

Sir Thomas Urquhart is more widely known as the translator of 
Rabelais. He translated the first three Books, of which the first was pub- 
lished in his lifetime, and the first three together after his death. 

Motteux, who finished the translation, represents Urquhart as a complete 
master of the French language, and as possessing both learning and fancy 
equal to the task he undertook. Tytler remarks in his Life of the Admir- 
able Crichton that "his extravagance, his drollery, his imagination, his 
burlesque and endless epithets are in the task of translating Rabelais 
transplanted into their true field of action, and revel through his pages 
with a license and buoyancy which is quite unbridled yet quite allowable." 

Pierre Antoine Motteux, 1 born at Rouen in Normandy, February 18, 
1660, was probably the son of a merchant, Antoine le Motteux. On the 

1 From the notice of the life and works in De Missy's French translation of 
of Motteux, by H. de Laun, and the note Motteux' notes to Rabelais. 

VOL. I b 


revocation of the Edict of Nantes in 1685, he came over to England and 
lived first with his godfather and relative Paul Dominique, a merchant of 
considerable standing in the City. Afterwards Motteux himself became an 
East India merchant in Leadenhall Street, and also occupied a place in the 
foreign department of the Post Office, though it appears that at one time he 
had to eke out his income by his literary work, if we may judge by the 
cringing tone of some of the dedications of his writings. He must have 
been a remarkable linguist, for in 1691, six years only after his coming to 
England, he was Editor of a Monthly Miscellany called The Gentleman's 
Journal, in which were contributions by Nahum Tate, Prior, Chs. Dryden, 
Sir Charles Sedley, Thomas Browne, and others, as well as a consider- 
able number by the Editor himself. In 1698 he published in French a 
parody on Boileau's " Ode on the taking of Namur by Louis XIV. in 1692," 
in which he ridicules the French King and lauds William of Orange, as 
he does on every possible occasion. 

In 1 694 he edited Sir Thomas Urquhart's translation of the Gargantua 
and the first two Books of Pantagruel, dedicating it to Admiral Russell, 
afterwards Earl of Orford, and also published his own translation of the 
Fourth and Fifth Books. 

He continued from this time to bring out plays and skits and musical 
pieces that were performed at the Theatre in Lincoln's Inn Fields and 
elsewhere, borrowing, as he admits, from foreign sources, mostly Italian, 
seeing that the French playwrights had been so ransacked that there was 
but little left to glean. He also wrote prologues and epilogues to various 
plays, such as Vanbrugh's Mistake. 

His best-known theatrical pieces are Ads and Galatea, a masque acted 
at Drury Lane in 1701 ; Arsino'i, Queen of Cyprus, in 1705 ; Thomyris, 
Queen of Scythia, in 1 707. Altogether he wrote as many as eight original 

In 1708 he republished Urquhart's translation of the first three Books 
of Rabelais, and with it published his own translation of the last two Books, 
or PantagruePs Voyage to the Oracle of the Bottle. To this he added a 
translation of the Pantagrueline Prognostication, other minor pieces, and 
the historical letters. The preface to this edition is written in nervous 
manly English, with a sensible account of the original and a half-apology 
for the style of his own translation. It concludes with a well-turned ex- 
pression of gratitude to the King and country that had found him a refuge. 
The explanatory remarks to this edition have been translated into French, 
and were made use of by Duchat in his editions. 

In 1 70 1 Motteux published a translation of Don Quixote, said on the 
title-page to have been " translated from the original by several hands, and 
published by Peter Motteux." It is most probable that Motteux did by 
far the greatest part of this translation. J. Ozell, who was a friend of 
Motteux, brought out in 17 19, a year after Motteux' death, a revised 
edition, as he did of the Rabelais in 1727. 

In the Spectator, No. 288, January 30, 1711-12, there is an epistolary 
puff from Motteux advertising his wares, literary and otherwise, which, as 
M. van Laun points out, argues no very great prosperity. Two sales of 
his pictures also point in the same direction. His position in the Post 
Office can hardly have been very lucrative, but the records before 1787 have 
been destroyed, and with them the means of shewing Motteux 9 position. 


On February 1 8, 1 7 1 8, he was inveigled into a house of ill-fame in the 
Butcher Row, behind St. Clement Danes Church, and there murdered. 
Rewards were offered by his widow and the State, and five persons (four 
women and a soldier) brought to trial, but acquitted. 

He was held in considerable repute and esteem by his contemporary 
playwrights, especially Dryden, by whom there is a commendatory epistle 
which ends thus — 

It moves our wonder that a foreign guest 
Should overmatch the most and match the best. 
In underpraising thy deserts, I wrong ; 
Here find the first deficience of our tongue : 
Words, once my stock, are wanting to commend 
So great a poet and so good a friend. 


So much that is fabulous, or at all events unable to bear examination, 
has sprung up and gathered round the personality of Rabelais, that in 
trying to write his life, especially for the purpose of illustrating his book, 
it seems better to err on the side of meagreness of detail than on the 
side of inaccuracy, and to put down only well-authenticated facts where 
they have been made out and substantiated, giving at most only a 
passing notice to the anecdotes which have been made current by his 
friends or his enemies, as serving to bring into relief some failing or 
foible of their hero. 

The date of his birth usually given (1483) has been recently brought 
into question by M. Rathery in his biographical notice prefixed to the 
edition of M. Burgaud des Marets, principally on the ground that that 
year might well be chosen by his admirers as having given birth also to 
Luther and Raphael, and that on that supposition the years intervening 
between 1483 and 1524, when he gives up his allegiance to St. Francis, 
and 1532 when he published the First Book of his Gargantua and 
Pantagrucl) cover a space in his life too large to be well accounted 
for. This computation would make him forty-one when he leaves the 
convent, and forty-nine when he composed the Chroniquc Gargantuine, 
if it is by him, and seventy at the time of his death. 

On this M. Fleury remarks that Rabelais was very learned, that he 
had read very widely and observed very largely, especially in the study 
of natural science. In those days instruction was slow and laborious, 
the process and apparatus of teaching complicated, books were not 
easily obtained, so that we must not find it astonishing that it required 
a number of years to amass the encyclopaedic knowledge of which we 
find Rabelais possessed In the matter of writing his romance he was 
an author rather by the force of circumstances. His special study was 
medicine, but he wrote very little on that subject. As to the argument 


from the wonderful life and freshness of his style being incompatible with 
so late a commencement as a writer, many examples to the contrary may 
be easily adduced. 

It has been urged on the other side by the late Bibliophile Jacob 
(Paul Lacroix) that he could not have been a companion at La Baumette 
of the brothers Du Bellay and others, who generally pass as his 
contemporaries. But, according to Rabelais, Guillaume du Bellay, Lord 
de Langey, died in 1543, in the climacterical year of his life, which is 
generally the sixty-third year of a man's age. This would place his birth 
in 1480. On the other hand, the climacterical year is not always sixty- 
three. Although M. Rathery follows Lacroix in placing our author's 
birth between 1490 and 1495, * d° not think that they have shown 
sufficient reason to change the usually received opinion. 

Francois Rabelais was born at Chinon in Touraine, on the river 
Vienne, about nine miles from its junction with the Loire, Saumur being 
about equidistant on the other side. This small town with its castle 
was well known as the theatre of several events in the early history of 
France. It was here that Henry II. of England died in 1 189. Here also 
was the meeting-place of Charles VII. of France and Jeanne d'Arc It 
is said by Gregory of Tours to have been founded by the Romans 
under the name of Ca'ino. Rabelais undoubtedly felt great affection for 
it and the environs where he strayed as a child. He delights in making 
Chinon and the places round about the scenes of events in his novel, 
and he never tires of speaking of Touraine, " the garden of France," and 
of Chinonais in terms that shew how indelible was the impression on his 
mind of the scenes and places in which his early life was spent Shake- 
speare similarly is full of allusions to Warwickshire, its green lanes 
and smiling landscapes. The map prefixed to this volume should be 
carefully studied on this account. 

His father, Thomas Rabelais, was an innkqteper (or, according to 
another account, an apothecary), at a house known by the sign of the 
Lamprey, and the possessor of the small vineyard La Dcvinihre near 
Seuill£ and of La Cave Peincte in Chinon, both of which are eulogised 
in Pantagruel. 

After a residence at Seuilte, near Chinon, where he probably learnt little 
or nothing, he was transferred to the convent La Baumette, founded by 
Ren£ d'Anjou, a quarter of a league from Angers. Here he made the 
acquaintance of the brothers Du Bellay, who were his steady friends 
through life, and whom he regarded with much affection. From La 
Baumette he passed into the Franciscan convent of Fontenay-le-Comte 
in Poitou. Here he passed in succession all the degrees to that of priest, 


which he took in 151 1, according to Saint-Romuald, more probably 
nearer 1520. An act of purchase by the brothers has been preserved 
signed April 5, 1519, bearing the signature of Rabelais as a frhre 
tnineur, as well as that of his friend Pierre Amy (iii. 10 fin.\ and of 
Artus Coultant, a name which our author grotesques (iiL 18). Other 
acquaintances made about this period were Andre* Tiraqueau, lieutenant- 
general of the bailiwick of Fontenay-le-Comte (iv. Prol.) ; Jean Bouchet, 
procureur at Poitiers, to whom a letter in verse from Rabelais as well 
as his answer has been preserved; also Geoffroi d'Estissac, Prior of 
Ligug£, afterwards Bishop of Maillezais, to whom his letters from 
Rome are addressed. 

It was during his residence at Fontenay (1 509-1 524) that Rabelais 
laid the foundation of his immense erudition. He and his friend Pierre 
Amy were indefatigable in their zeal to acquire the Latin and Greek 
tongues, which were now eagerly learned by the " Humanists " of this 
time, following in the steps of Erasmus. He also familiarised himself 
with the ancient and the current literature of France. Greek, however, 
was looked upon as neither more nor less than heretical, and the pursuit 
of it was rendered difficult by the monks, who feared and detested the 
new learning. Through Pierre Amy he made the acquaintance of the 
great scholar Guillaume Bud£, better known under the Latinised name 
Budaeus. The persecutions of the monks of the convent became keener, 
and the cells of the studious brothers were invaded and their books 
confiscated. This led to a temporary estrangement between P. Amy 
and Rabelais, who wrongfully suspected his friend and complained of him 
to Budaeus, who defended him in a Graeco-Latin letter to our author. 
Amy appears by some means to have effected his escape from the convent, 
being warned by the response obtained by a consultation of the Sortes 
Vergilianae (iiL 10 fin.) Rabelais seems to have been rescued from his 
persecutors by Andr6 Tiraqueau, and then to have obtained permission 
from Pope Paul III. to enter the Benedictine order at the Abbey of 
Maillezais as a secular priest 

Around this affair have grown up fables invented by ingenious 
persons, but which have no solid basis to support them ; such as the 
story that he had been sentenced to the vade in pace (i.e. perpetual 
imprisonment on scanty fare), but that he was forcibly released by 
Andr£ Tiraqueau and his friends outside. These stories may be 
regarded as apocryphal, and sufficiently refuted by passages in Budl's 
Greek and Latin letters to Rabelais. 

From his long abode at Fontenay-le-Comte Rabelais conceived a 
deep and lasting resentment against cloister-life and the monks ; for the 


town, however, and the inhabitants he retained very kindly feelings. 
Through his instrumentality, it is recorded, Francis I. granted a coat-of- 
arms to the place in 1542, and a device, Feliciorum ingeniorum fons et 

After leaving the convent Rabelais was the guest and constant 
companion of the Bishop of Maillezais at the chateau of L'Ermenaud or 
at the priory of Ligug£, the residences of the bishop. The rhyming 
letter of Jean Bouchet to Rabelais, and the answer, illustrate the pleasant 
life that was spent at this period. This was a restful time, but did not 
last long. It was at this period that he visited the French Universities 
Poitiers, Toulouse, Montpellier, Avignon, Valence, Angers, Bourges and 
Orleans (cf. il 5). In the preface prefixed to the Jouaust edition of 
Rabelais (1885) Lacroix represents Rabelais as visiting England in attend- 
ance on Jean du Bellay in 1528. I know of nothing to support this. 

Rabelais left the church at Maillezais, gave up the Benedictine 
habit, and took up the profession of secular priest, as we learn from his 
supplication to the Pope. He seems to have gone to Paris and then to 
Lyons, where he entered into relations with printers and booksellers. 
M. Moland puts his visit to Lyons as early as 1528-9, in view of the 
numerous publications of his in 1532-3. In 1530 he is at Montpellier. 
This is shewn by extracts from the registers of the Faculty of Medicine. 
He entered on the 17 th of September, and proceeded to the degree of 
Bachelor of Medicine under John Scurron (cf. iv. 43) on the 1st of 

It was during his first stay at Montpellier that the tragi-comedy 
was represented of the man who had married a dumb wife, in which he 
mentions himself as acting (iii. 34). He gives the names of his com- 
panions in the piece, viz. Ant. Saporta, Guy Bourguier, Balthasar Noyer, 
Tolet, Jean Quentin, Francois Robinet, Jean Perdrier. M. Dubouchet, 
in his interesting book F. Rabelais & Montpellier ijjo-ifj#, repro- 
duces in facsimile an order of a " congregation " bearing the signatures 
L. Saporta and Rabelaesus, with two other signatures. This undoubt- 
edly belongs to his first stay at Montpellier. In all probability it was 
during this sojourn that he visited the ties d'Hyeres, which were rich in 
botanical specimens, and which he speaks of in such affectionate terms, 
"mes lies Hferes" (iii. 41), and of which he constitutes himself on the 
title-page of the Third Book as " Calloier " (/caXo? Upevs). 

In order to obtain his Licentiate he had to keep as a candidate a 
course of three consecutive months, taking a subject given him by the 
Chancellor or the Dean. His subject was the Aphorisms of Hippo- 
crates and the Ars Parva of Galen, on which he lectured from a Greek 


MS. in his possession to considerable classes, as we learn from the 
dedicatory epistle addressed to the Bishop of Maillezais, prefixed to an 
edition of these works published by Gryphius in 1532. A second 
edition was published in 1543. There has been found no record of his 
taking the degree of Licentiate on the registers, but on the register of 
matriculations is recorded the payment of the fee April 3, 1537 : 

A LUentiandis 

Magistro Francisco Rabtltsio lib. 4. vii den. 
This payment was made before the degree was conferred, as M. 
Dubouchet points out 

At the end of 1531 or the beginning of 1532 he settled at Lyons, 
dating from which period he assumed the title of Mtdecin or even 
Docicur en Mtdecine y although the degree was not conferred on him 
till May 22, 1537 (cf. p. xxix). 

In 1532 he was attached to the hospital at Lyons with a salary of 
40 livres Tournois (about j£&). He worked also as an enthusiastic 
" Humanist " for the printer Sebastian Gryphius, as corrector of the press. 

This year also he dedicated to Aymery Bouchard, the friend of Tira- 
queau, who had become a Royal Councillor and Master of Requests, 
an edition of Latin works, which afterwards proved to be forgeries by 
Pompeius Laetus and Jovianus Pontanus. The title is " Ex Reliquiis 
Venerandae Antiquitatis : Lucn Cuspidii Testamentum, Item 
Contractus Venditionis Antiquis Romanorum Temporibus Initus." 

A letter of this date is preserved from Rabelais to Bernard de 
Salignac, 1 written in terms of the greatest respect and affection. 
According to M. Rathery, he is most probably a Hellenist and 
mathematician of Bordeaux, a disciple of Ramus, alluded to in the 
following verses of Voult£ — 

. . . Nostin Pyladem Salinacumque ? 
Ii sunt monachi pii, periti, 
Passim iam celebres. 

It was at this period that he brought out his Gargantua and Pan- 
tagruel. It is now a question which was published first. The question 
is one of bibliography, and will be considered later (p. lvii-lix.) 

The name Gargantua was well known in France. He was the 
beneficent giant with an enormous appetite, whose boots, seat, etc. etc. 

1 It has been made more than prob- of it has been found in the Zurich Library, 

able by Heir Birch- Hirschfeld that this addressed to Erasmus. A fuller account 

letter was addressed to no other than is reserved for the notes on the letter 

Erasmus, on account of the internal itself in vol ii. p. 506. 
evidence, and from the fact that a copy 


were shewn in almost all the provinces from Brittany to Provence. 
Traces of the great giant have been followed up by M. Sebillot in 
an interesting little volume entitled Gargantua dans Its Traditions 
Populaires (Paris 1883). Rabelais adopts him as his hero in the same 
manner as the old legends had their Huon de Bordeaux, the four Sons 
of Aymon, Pierre of Provence, Ogier the Dane, Berlin, etc etc. 

At the end of 1532 he brought out his Pantagrueline Prognostica- 
tion for the year 1533. It is a sort of parody of publications then much 
in vogue, Almanacks with astrological notes and predictions. It is 
published under the name of Maistre Alcofribas^ Architriclin de Pan- 
tagrueL He also published actual Almanacks under his own name, 
styling himself Doctor in Medicine and Professor of Astrology. Of 
these there survive fragments for the years 1533, 1535, 1541, 1546, 
1548 and 1550, all published at Lyons. 

The Sorbonne immediately prosecuted and condemned the Gar- 
gantua and PantagrueL This we learn from a letter of Calvin's in 
October 1533, wherein he states that the Miroir de F&me pkcheresse of 
Queen Margaret of Navarre had only been set aside to be examined, but 
"se pro damnatis habuisse obscoenos illos Pantagrue/em, Sylvatn 
amorum et ejus monetae." The Calvinists always speak of Rabelais' 
books collectively under the title of PantagrueL 

Of the word ' Pantagruel ' Rabelais gives a burlesque derivation in 
ii. 2, but in reality it existed in the form ' Penthagruel ' (perhaps from 
Pantois, 'panting,' 'gasping,' andgrue/, 'oatmeal'). 'Penthagruel' occurs 
in an old poem, the Verger d'honneur— 

Aussi pour trop grant nourriture 
Tourner luy peult en pourriture 
Foye, cueur, pormon, tripe, rate ; 
Ou le penthagruel le grate 
Si treffort dehors et dedans 
Que parler ne peult, et de dents 
Ne peult ronger d'un an appeine. 
Pourquoy ? pource qu'il n'en a point 

In this sense of All-thirsty the word ' Pantagruel ' is alluded to in 
several places. Thus — ii. 6, the Limosin Scholar " was so much athirst 
that he often said that Pantagruel held him by the throat"; ii. 7, the 
people of Orleans said, " We have the Pantagruel and our throats are 
all salt"; iL 18, Thaumast said, "It is my opinion that Pantagruel 
holds me by the throat; give order that we may drink"; iii. 51, on the 
herb Pantagmelion or hemp, " Others have we heard, at the moment 
when Atropos was cutting the thread of their life, wofully lamenting and 


complaining that Pantagruel held them by the throat ; but it was not 
Pantagruei, he was never an executioner ; it was Pantagruelion," etc. 

It was at the beginning of the year 1534 that Rabelais made his first 
visit to Rome as physician to Jean du Bellay, Bishop of Paris, who had 
been commissioned by Francis I. to prevent, if possible, the rupture of 
the King of England with Rome on the occasion of the divorce of 
Catherine of Aragon. Du Bellay had been in England and obtained 
from Henry VIII. a promise not to break away from Rome if he 
should be authorised and allowed time to defend himself by proxy. 
He had gone immediately from there, crossed France, and arrived in 
Rome, taking Rabelais with him from Lyons. The Bishop obtained 
from Pope Clement VII. the delay that Henry asked, but the mes- 
senger who was sent to England was unable to return in time. The 
matter was then referred to a consistory. Notwithstanding the remon- 
strances of the Bishop of Paris, the Pope was induced by the Ministers 
of Charles V., who was nephew of Catherine, to pronounce at once 
the sentence of excommunication (March 23, 1534). The messenger 
returned two days afterwards, having been delayed by floods, with full 
powers from Henry, but the Pope could not recall his sentence. The 
result was that Henry, in a fit of indignation, got an Act passed by his 
Parliament (May 28) abolishing the authority of the Pope in England. 
We learn from the letter of dedication prefixed to the Topographic de 
Rome, by Marliani, that the Bishop acquitted himself in this mission with 
admirable capacity and eloquence : " Quae nos turn jucunditas perfudit, 
quo gaudio elati, qua sumus affecti laetitia, cum te dicentem spectare- 
mus, stupente summo ipso pontifice Clemente, mirantibus purpuratis 
illis amplissimi ordinis judicibus, cunctis plaudentibus ! " etc etc. 

For Rabelais himself, to visit Rome in such advantageous circum- 
stances was the realisation of his highest wishes, and we have reason to 
believe that he fully availed himself of his opportunities, though even 
here fabulous and spiteful accounts of him have been invented. 

Rabelais had purposed making an exact description of Rome, but 
finding himself anticipated by Marliani, he merely caused the book to 
be published by Seb. Gryphius in September 1534, with a Latin letter 
of dedication to Jean du Bellay. A Roman edition had been published 
by Marliani, dedicated to Cardinal Trami. 

Reference to this visit is to be found in iv. 11. Epistemon, 
evidently speaking for Rabelais, mentions an incident in a visit to 
Florence. Curiously, the edition of 1548 of the Fourth Book says 
"about twelve years ago," that of 1552 " twenty years ago." 

Pope Clement VII. died September 25, 1534, and was succeeded by 


Paul III. Jean du Bellay went to reside in Rome, attended by Rabelais 
in 1535. M. Heulhard shews that Du Bellay was at Lyons on July 18 
on his way to Rome, and he places the residence of the Cardinal and 
Rabelais at Rome July 1535-March 1536, insisting on the probability 
that the appointment of jbl physician at Lyons to supersede Rabelais, 
who had been absent without leave on February 13, 1535, was due to 
the fact that he was already engaged in the Cardinal's service. 

During this visit Rabelais was in correspondence with Geoffroi 
d'Estissac, Bishop of Maillezais, and received subsidies from him, in 
return for which he brought back many botanical specimens wherewith 
to adorn the gardens at Ligug£. To this source has been attributed 
the introduction of the Roman lettuce, the melon, artichokes, pinks of 
Alexandria. Probably to this period we owe the receipt for the cele- 
brated garum^ concerning which he sent an epigram to his friend Dolet. 

In these letters there is frequent mention of Charles V., who was then 
at Naples and was coming to Rome. He had made an expedition to 
Tunis on June 4, and returned victorious to Sicily September 5. 
He was now full of the most ambitious designs, and meditated nothing 
less than the conquest of France. He made a triumphal entry into 
Rome on the 5th of April 1536, when a large number of ancient monu- 
ments, houses and churches had been thrown down to make way for 
his progress. On the 8th of April he made an harangue at a consistory 
held by the Pope, in the presence of the French and other ambassadors, 
in which he forgot his policy of dissimulation for a time and im- 
prudently discovered his designs. He tried afterwards to soften the 
effect of this speech and induce the ambassadors Velly and the Bishop 
of Macon to tone down their reports of it 

The Cardinal du Bellay immediately went home, wrote down a 
careful report of the Emperor's speech, and hurried in disguise to Paris, 
which he reached in eight days. There are accounts given that the 
Emperor was attempting the assassination of the Cardinal, and again 
that Du Bellay listened to a plan to assassinate Charles. This, I 
think, requires confirmation. 

Though interested in these events, Rabelais was engaged in them 
rather as physician and trusted secretary than as taking an active part. 
He was busying himself with archaeology and botany, and profiting by 
his opportunities of study. He took lessons in Arabic from the Bishop 
of Caramith, and also used the opportunity to address a petition to 
the Pope asking for absolution for having given up his religious lif$ and 
lived in the world. He begged to be allowed to join the Order of St. 
Benedict and enter some monastery, and to be allowed to practise 



medicine, in which he had taken the degrees, with the limitations 
imposed by canon on persons in religious orders — that is, without fees, 
solely for the benefit of suffering humanity, and without the use of fire 
or the knife. This request was granted by a brief of Paul III., January 
17, 1536, couched in the most flattering terms. 

It is uncertain whether Rabelais accompanied Cardinal du Bellay in 
his hurried flight from Rome. At all events, he was very soon with him 
in Paris. A letter has been preserved from Cardinal de Tournon 
(who had succeeded Trivulzio as Governor of Lyons) to Chancellor du 
Bourg, to the effect that he had intercepted and sent for the Chancellor's 
perusal a letter sent by Rabelais from Rome, par ou vous verrez de quelles 
nouvtllcs il advertissoit ung des plus maulvais paillards qui soit a Rome ; 
je lui ay faiet commandement qifil tCeust a bouger de cestt ville jusques a 
ce que fen sceusse votre volonU. This may be the germ of the well-worn 
story of the Quart d*heure de Rabelais. 

The storm threatened by Charles V. was not long in coming. He 
crossed the Sesia with 50,000 men on June 7, 1536, and on July 25 
crossed the Var and entered Provence, proclaiming his intention to 
march straight on Paris. Anne de Montmorency defended southern 
France by devastating the whole country before the invaders, intending 
to defend only Marseilles and Aries. After a campaign of two months 
without a battle, Charles was obliged to retreat with his army decimated 
by want of provisions, sickness, and ambuscades. Francis I. left Paris to 
take command of his army at Valence and Avignon, leaving the Cardinal 
du Bellay in charge of the capital as well as Picardy and Champagne. 
He proved very vigorous in administration, and strengthened and 
provisioned Paris with great promptitude. 

Concurrently with the invasion of Charles in the South, an attack was 
made by the Imperialists in the North of France under the Count of 
Nassau, who took Guise and laid siege to Peronne, the capture of which 
would have opened the road to Paris. All these operations proved 
fruitless. The Emperor re-crossed the Var on the 25th of September; 
the siege of Peronne had already been raised. 

Rabelais was most probably at Paris the greater part of this time, 
assisting Cardinal du Bellay. As Bishop of Paris the Cardinal was 
Abb6 of Saint-Maur-les-Foss£s, a Benedictine abbey, and had accepted 
his physician as a monk of St. Maur while in Rome. But meantime the 
abbey had been made a collegiate institution and the monks had be- 
come canons, and Rabelais had not been admitted as monk, so that by 
admission into St. Maur he became simply canon, having been merely 
admitted into the Order of St Benedict This seems to have been the 


reason why he was not present at the installation of the new canons 
August 1 7, 1536. But he had already been admitted to the abbey, which 
in his letter to the Cardinal of Chitillon he describes as " a place, or to 
speak better and with greater propriety, a Paradise of salubrity, amenity, 
serenity, conveniency, delights and all honest pleasures of agriculture and 
country life." 

It was also about this time that, " being tormented by a scruple of 
conscience," he addressed a new petition to the Pope asking for a 
confirmation of his absolution, and also that the anterior brief should 


have the same effect as if he had been received into the monastery of 
St Maur before the abbey had been made collegiate. The answer to 
this petition has been lost That he was in Paris about this time is 
attested by the fact that he was present at a banquet given by Etienne 
Dolet, who had fled from Lyons to take refuge after a murder which he 
had committed December 31, 1536, and to solicit the king's pardon. 
The banquet was given after the pardon had been obtained, and 
included, as we learn from a poem of Dolet's, Bud£, Berauld, Danes, 
Toussain, Macrin, Bourbon, Dampierre, Voult£, Marot, and 

Franciscus Rabelaesus, honos et gloria certa 
Artis Paeoniae, qui vel de limine Ditis 
Extinctos revocare potest et reddere luci. 
Hos inter multus sermo turn nascitur : orae 
Externae quid docti habeant scriptoris : Erasmus, 
Melanchthon, Bembus, Sadoletus, Vida, Jacobus 
Sannazarus plena laudantur voce vicissim. 

On the 2 2d of May 1537 he proceeded to the degree of Doctor in 
Medicine at Montpellier under the presidency of Antoine Griffy. Here 
he resided some little time, giving a course of lectures on the Prognos- 
tics of Hippocrates. Among others he received visits from Jean de 
Boysonne, professor at the University of Toulouse, and Hubert Susanneau. 
On November 17, 1537, it is recorded that he received a gold piece from 
Jean Scurron, the dean, for a lecture on anatomy. There is a poem of 
Etienne Dolet's on a subject whom Rabelais anatomised and lectured 
on before a large audience. The man had been hanged, and he is 
congratulated by the poet for having been of signal service to his fellow- 
creatures as the subject of a learned exposition, and this after a worthless 
life and after having been the sport of the winds on the gibbet 

Although he was busied with his medical studies at Montpellier it is 
by no means likely that he remained a fixture there. He undoubtedly 
visited Narbonne, Castres, and other cities in the South of France, and 
afterwards returned to Lyons. This is attested by Latin poems of 
Salmo Macrinus, the secretary of Cardinal du Bellay. 


It was during one of these visits to Lyons that a son was born to 
him, Theodule Rabelais, who died when two years of age. M. Rathery 
has discovered among the poems of Boysonne a couple of epigrams 
which make this certain. 

Ad Theodulum Rabtlaesum puerum bimulum moruntcm. 
Cur nos tarn subito, rogo te, Rabelaese, relinquis ? 
• ••••■• 

Lugdunum patria at pater est Rabelaesus ; utrumque 
Qui nescit nescit maxima in orbe duo. 

De Theodulo Rabelaeso puero bimulo defuncto. 
Quaeris quis jaceat sub hoc sepulchro 
Tarn parvo ? Theodulus ipse parvus, etc. 

In 1539 Rabelais passed into the service of Guillaume du Bellay, 
Seigneur de Langey, of whose decease and statesmanlike qualities he 
speaks so feelingly in iv. 27. He was at ChamWry on the 18th of 
December, at Turin in July and October 1540, when he received letters 
from Guillaume Pellicier, Bishop of Maguelonne, and afterwards of 
Montpellier, and at this time French ambassador at Venice. In the 
second of these he asks Rabelais to use his influence and learning to 
obtain Hebrew and Syriac MSS. and Greek books for the king's library. 
Rabelais must have paid several visits to Lyons, as he was publishing 
almanacks yearly, and the re-issue of his Gargantua and Pantagruel 
in 1542 by Francois Juste was undoubtedly revised by the author. 

During this time he was in correspondence with Jean de Boysonne 
of Toulouse, who was attached to Pellicier at Venice, and with 
Guillaume Bigot, whom he visited at Chamblry in January 1541, being 
uncertain then in what direction he was going. It is possible, M. 
Heulhard suggests, that he was going into Switzerland (cf. iii. 28 init.) 
or to Provence, to report to Langey the state of the Vaudois at 
Cabrieres and Menndol. In any case, he returned in March, when he 
was asked by Paulus Manutius, the great Venetian printer, to get Langey 
to accept the dedication of a volume of Cicero's Orations, which he 
had just finished printing. In July Langey lost his wife, who was duly 
deplored by Boysonne in some Latin elegiacs addressed to Rabelais. 

This same year Charles V. conducted a great attack by land and 
sea against Barbarossa in North Africa with most disastrous results. 
His fleet was wrecked by a storm and his army defeated before Algiers. 
He just managed to escape to Spain in a most deplorable plight. 

Towards the end of the year Rabelais accompanied Langey to 
France, where they stayed at Court from November till May 1542. 
Here he may have foregathered with Benvenuto Cellini, who at this 


time was employed by Francis at Fontainebleau. M. Heulhard quotes 
a poem of Claude Chappuis, which seems to indicate that he was made 
Mattre des requites to the King (cf. pp. 155-6). 

Langey returned to Turin May 11, and resumed the command 
which he had left in the hands of De Thermes. He was much 
incapacitated by gout, and found increasing cause for vigilance. 
Before he left Turin, the king's ambassadors to Venice, Rincon and 
Fregose, had been assassinated by the orders of Du Guast, thus giving 
Francis a pretext, which he had much wished, for resuming hostilities. 
Langey had cautioned the ambassadors not to go by water, but as they 
would not follow his advice, he induced them at least to leave their 
papers with him. Meantime Pellicier had laid himself open to the 
suspicions of the Ten, and had been banished from Venice. Clement 
Marot and Andrl Thevet had been taken prisoners by the Imperialists 
while walking in the neighbourhood of Turin. This must have happened 
m x 543> as Marot died there in 1544. 

In January 1543 Rabelais was present at the death of Seigneur de 
Langey at St Symphorien, between Lyons and Roanne. It is recorded 
that Du Bellay left his prot£g£ an income of 50 Irvrts Tournois till he 
should have 300 livres from benefices. He is spoken of in terms of 
affection in iii. 21 and iv. 26, 27. Rabelais wrote a Latin treatise, which 
is now lost; it was translated into French by Claude Massuau, but 
only the title has been preserved — Slratagemes, c*est-hrdire Prouesses et 
ruses de guerre du preux et tres-cklebre chevalier Langey \ au commencement 
de la tierce guerre Chariane (Gryphius, Lyons, 1542). 

After Langey's death, the embalming of his body must have been 
performed by his two physicians, Rabelais and Gabriel Taphenon. 
This is made almost certain by the extracts that have been made by 
M. Heulhard from the prods-verbal of the exhumation of a sarcophagus 
found at the entry of the choir in the cathedral of Le Mans, October 
16, 1862. The face of the body, which was of colossal stature, 
exactly resembled that of the stone figure in the mausoleum. Every- 
thing was found to be in a wonderful state of preservation. 

Twenty days after the death Rabelais was at Saint-Ay near Orleans 
with the lord of the place, most likely helping in the arrangement of 
the funeraL He then went on his peregrinations, visiting Chinon, 
Ligugl, Poitiers, and probably going to Brittany and the Channel 
Islands (cf. iv. 66), and perhaps even into Normandy, till 1545, when 
he returned with Cardinal du Bellay to Saint-Maur-les-Fossls. All this 
time we must suppose that he was preparing the Third Book. 

In 1545 Rabelais obtained from Francis I. a privilege for an impression 


of his Third Book and leave to correct and review the two first and 
have them printed and sold. In the first edition of this, published at 
Paris 1546, he assumes the title of Doctor in Medicine and drops the 
old anagram Alcofribas Nasier, and instead of abstracteur de quintc 
essence is calldier (patriarch) des isles Uteres. The boldness in 
publishing the book at this time seems astonishing. The year before 
(1545) had witnessed the terrible massacre of the Vaudois at M£rindol, 
Cabriferes, and La Coste; Robert Estienne and Clement Marot had been 
banished in 1543 ; and Etienne Dolet had been hanged and burnt on the 
Place Maubert in 1546 (August 3). But Rabelais had powerful friends 
at Court ; J. du Bellay, Bishop of Paris ; Pierre Duchatel, Bishop of 
Tulle, reader to the king, who probably read Gargantua and Pantagrucl 
to him ; Geoffroi d'Estissac, Bishop of Maillezais, the new guardian of 
the seals ; and the learned world of France at his back. 

Nevertheless, with commendable prudence, he retired to Metz, 
where he stayed probably the whole year and till June 1547. An 
extract of the accounts of the city of Metz shews that he was 
physician there at a salary of 120 Iwres a year. About this time he 
was in straits for money, as we find by a letter from him to Cardinal du 
Bellay from Metz, dated February 6 [1546]. There is also another letter 
concerning him from Jean Sturm, rector of the gymnasium of Stras- 
burg, also addressed to the Cardinal, containing the following passage : 
"Tempora etiam Rabelaesum ejecerunt e Gallia. <f>ev r&v ^ovwv. 
Nondum ad nos venit Metis consistit ut audio; inde enim nos 
salutavit. Adero ipsi quibuscumque rebus potero, cum ad nos venerit. 
... Ad Tabernas Alsatiae (Saverne) vigesima octava Martii." 

With the death of Francis (March 31, 1547), Cardinal du Bellay lost 
his influence and retired to Rome, probably taking Rabelais with him. 
From a phrase in the Sciotnaehie it appears almost certain that he was 
in Paris July 16, 1547, the date of the duel between Jamac and 
Chastaigneraye. That he was in Rome June 18, 1548, is attested by a 
deed of quittance of that date to Benvenuto Olivier and Co., at Rome, 
for 30 gold crowns on a letter of exchange from Thomas Delbenne and 
Co. of Paris (Heulhard). Undoubtedly he was in Rome in February 
1549, at the time of the birth of Louis of Orleans, second son of Henry 
II. and Catherine de' Medici. At this time was written the Sciotnaehie ; 
or, Description of the Sham-fight, which took place on March 14, printed 
the same year by Sebastian Gryphius. 

During this, his third, visit to Rome, Rabelais encountered the 
virulent attack of Gabriel de Puits-Herbaut, a monk of FontQvrault, 
entitled Theotimus, sive de tollendis et expurgandis tnalis libris, it's 





praedpue, guvs vix incolumi fide ac pictate plerique legere queant. This 
furious onslaught contains the following passage : " Utinam inter illos 
(the refugees at Geneva) sit Rabelaesus cum suo Pantagruelismo, 
siquidem inter homines ille adhuc agit, nam cardinalium turbam ineunte 
hoc regno Romam dimissam et ablegatam secutus fuerat" Rabelais is 
described as a profane, gluttonous, and drunken buffoon, vomiting forth 
the venom of his writings. Something must be allowed in this matter 
for the odium theologicum on both sides. The Calvinists were at least 
as acrimonious as the Papists, for they had hoped to gain a powerful 
convert for themselves, and were disgusted to find an independent spirit — 
one whose motto was in the best sense Fais cb que vouldras, and one 
who could not subject himself to the cramping regulations of bells and 
hours. The dislike and disappointment of the Calvinists is sufficiently 
shewn by the remark of Henri Estienne (ApologU pour Hbrodote^ c xiv.) : 
" . . . nostre sifccle a faict revivre un Lucian en un Francois Rabelais en 
matifere d'escrits brocardans toute sorte de religion ? . . . S^avons-nous 
pas que le but de ceux-ci a est£, en faisant semblant de ne tendre qu'a 
chasser la melancholie des esprits . . . et en s'insinuant par plusieurs 
risles et brocards qu'ils jettent contre l'ignorance de nos prld&esseurs 
. . . venir aprfes a jetter aussi bien des pierres en nostre jardin ? " 

Rabelais retorts in a vigorous manner : " Since then, she (Antiphysis) 
brought forth . . . the maniac Pistols, the demoniac Calvins, impostors 
of Geneva, the frantic Herb-stinking hermits (Put-herbes), Tearers and 
Renders . . . and other deformed Monsters, made awry in Nature's 
despite" (iv. 32 fin.) 

Notwithstanding these attacks, our author had managed to gain over 
to his interests powerful patrons at the Court of Henry II., such as the 
Cardinal de Guise and Odet, .Cardinal of Chatillon, to whom the Fourth 
Book is dedicated 

A partial edition of the Fourth Book appeared at Lyons in 1548, 
consisting of a Prologue (now the Ancien Prologue) and of eleven 
chapters corresponding to some extent with the first twenty-five chapters 
of the complete edition published by Michael Fezandat at Paris in 1552. 
This later edition contains a New Prologue and a letter of dedication 
to the Cardinal of Chatillon, and sixty-seven chapters, comprising the 
eleven of the first edition, with others added so as to make up the first 
twenty-five, and then forty-two new chapters. 

On January 18, 1551, 1 he was nominated Curl of Meudon. Most 

1 The dates actually given on the remembered that till 1563 the official year 
documents of appointment and of resig- in France began with Easter. 
nation are 1550 and 1552, but it most be 

VOL. I x C 


accounts of him in his cure are favourable, and he is represented as "a 
vigilant, honest, charitable pastor." However, he held the office just 
short of two years, as is attested by the resignation of the Curl of St 
Martin de Meudon in the diocese of Paris, and St Christophe de 
Jambet in the diocese of Le Mans, on January 9, 1553. This re- 
signation is accounted for variously. One account is current to the 
effect that Eustache du Bellay, probably nephew of the Cardinal, 
Rabelais' great protector, had succeeded as Bishop of Paris, but did 
not entertain the same friendly feelings towards the curl as his uncle 
had done, and when, on the occasion of a pastoral visitation in June 
1 55 1, he found the curl absent and represented by his substitute 
and four other priests, he insisted on the resignation of the defaulting 

The complete Fourth Book appeared January 28, 1552, and at once 
created a great stir among the theological faculty. Notwithstanding 
the dedication, the prosecutions were immediate and vigorous. The 
publication was suspended by an order of Parliament dated March 1, 
and the printer, Michael Fezandat, cited to appear before the Court 
The sale of the book was prohibited for " fifteen days "; in all probability 
it remained in abeyance till Henry returned in triumph from his 
campaign against Metz. 

Rabelais died shortly after the publication of the Fourth Book, 
probably in the year 1553, in Paris, Rue des Jardins, in the parish of St 
Paul, and was buried in the cemetery there, under a large tree which was 
shewn a hundred years after his death. His enemies invented numerous 
anecdotes to shew that he died as they make out he lived. It will 
suffice to give one as a specimen, and that only because it finds place in 
Bacon's Apophthegms, No. 42. It runs thus : " When Rabelais the 
great jester of France lay on his death-bed, and they gave him the 
extreme unction, a familiar friend came to him afterwards and asked 
him how he did. Rabelais answered, ' Even going my journey, they 
have greased my boots already.' " This looks as though it were put 
forth by "mine own familiar friend," perhaps suggested as a retort to 
the grave rebuke uttered by Raminagrobis, the dying poet (iii. 21), on 
the cupidity of the monks to obtain legacies for themselves or their 
convents from persons in articulo mortis. It seems not linlikely that 
greasing the boots was a profane jest among the monks themselves. 

The Fifth Book was posthumous, and was found among his papers. 
The Prologue and first sixteen chapters were published in 1562, under 
the title of L'Isle Sonnante. In 1564 the whole was published, con- 
taining some interpolations, but being probably in the main the un- 


finished work of Rabelais. About 1840 the Bibliophile Jacob (Paul 
Lacroix) discovered in the Royal Library at Paris a manuscript of the 
1 6th century containing this Book, with some omissions and some 
additions to the matter contained in the printed editions, being 
probably nearer the genuine text But this requires a special notice, to 
be given in its place before the Fifth Book. 

The invention of printing about 1450 and the decay and collapse 
of the Eastern Empire had been the precursors and causes of an entire 
change in the ideas of the world, literary and otherwise. Till the in- 
vention of printing, men had to depend entirely on the slow process of 
writing, and that necessarily in single copies, for all the information that 
could be derived from reading. In looking back on this state of things 
it seems a matter for astonishment how much knowledge was dis- 
seminated. It seems probable that men, reading much less, retained 
more what they read ; and that the memory was quickened, as Plato 
suggests in his Phaedrus^ by a dependence on memory, which was 
necessary in so great a paucity of material. At all events it seems 
certain that much that was current in MS. was known and utilised by 
other writers, as there are cases (for instance, in the poems of Charles 
d'Orllans, who wrote in the first half of the 15th century) where 
the MS. has not appeared in print till the present century. These 
poems, as being written by a nephew of Charles VI. and father of Louis 
XII., would be current at Court, and naturally well known by those who 
came in contact with Court circles. 

The capture of Constantinople drove, as is matter of common 
knowledge, a number of learned Greeks from their home in the capital 
of the Eastern Empire to take shelter in Italy, where Rome had so long 
held the Empire of the world, and where had sprung up Republics and 
States which were vying with each other, not in arms only, but in learning 
and culture. First of these stood Florence, thanks to the munificence 
and taste of the great family of the Medici, to whose fostering care of 
the learned men who took refuge in Florence we now are indebted for 
the magnificent Medicean Library, perhaps the richest in important 
MSS. in the world. But centuries before then the brothers in the 
monasteries had been keeping from oblivion the writings of the Latin 
authors by their diligent copyists, though in some cases their diligence 
for the Church service had outweighed their judgment in the value of 
the works of ancient authors, as may be seen in the obliteration of the 
writing on the Ambrosian MS. of Plautus to make way for a tran- 
scription of the Books of Kings. Petrarch had discovered and perhaps 


copied out Cicero's letters, and in many cases our thanks are due to 
the unwearied patience and skill displayed in the copying-room of the 
monasteries. But much as had been done in Italy to preserve Latin 
writings, Greek, as was only natural, had to a great extent fallen into 
neglect, and in many cases the transcription of Greek had been made 
with Latin letters, and top often the Graecum est, non legitur has led 
to the loss of knowledge concealed in that tongue. ♦Moreover, as 
Aristotle — who was read by the Schoolmen with little, if any, less rever- 
ence than the Bible — was known, not in his original Greek, but in a 
Latin version which had come through Arabic translations of Hebrew, 
Coptic, or other translations, it could hardly be expected but that many 
errors would creep in from so plentiful a source ; and again, many dicta 
of the old Greek philosophers were retained only in a Latin form, and 
widely current in that convenient form, but now not easily to be traced 
to their original author. 

In this state of things, while there were many able men anxious to 
obtain and master the old learning, and who could only lay hold on it by the 
skirts, as it were, it is not surprising that learned Greeks, often furnished 
with MSS. of the ancient authors of their country, should be more than 
welcome both in Rome and Florence, and that the printing-presses 
which had been set up by Aldus at Venice, by Junta at Florence, 
Froben at Basel, Sebastian Gryphius at Lyons, should vie with one 
another in printing books old and new, the most ambitious printing 
Greek books, and the others books in Latin, a few in Greek and many in 
their vernacular tongue. Indeed the passage in the eighth chapter of 
the Second Book of Rabelais seems hardly exaggerated, where he speaks 
with so much enthusiasm of the new learning and its progress : " Now 
all kind of learning is restored and languages are re-established, both 
Greek (without which a person cannot without shame call himself learned), 
Hebrew, Chaldaic and Latin. Impressions of great elegance and 
correctness are in use, which have been invented in my time by divine 
inspiration. All the world is full of knowing folks, of very learned 
preceptors and most ample libraries, and I am of opinion that neither 
in the time of Plato nor Cicero nor Papinian was there such a con- 
venience for study as is now seen. And hereafter a man must not be 
seen in any place or company who has not been well polished in the 
workshop of Minerva. I see brigands, hangmen, mercenaries and 
grooms of the present day more learned than the doctors and preachers 
of my time." 

On the other side we have the spectacle of the ignorant monks, 
often ignorant from choice, "hating learning for its own sake," who 


knew and wished to know nothing save the offices of the Church and the 
good cheer of the convent, who would on no account exchange their old 
"mumpsimus" for the new "sumpsimus." These were aided and 
abetted, from motives of bigotry, by another class, who feared that the 
sacred well of theological truth would be polluted if coloured by only a few 
drops of the new learning, and who could not understand that the Deity 
could be served excepting in the old scholastic and biblical Latinity, and 
would on no account unlearn the hideous jargon in which arguments 
were stated and communications made among themselves, and which 
had become to them almost a substitute for their own language. The 
powerful satire of the Epistolae Obscurorum Virorum^ written by Ulrich 
van Hutten, in which are displayed the frivolity, the ignorance and 
debauchery of the monks, in letters so closely imitating their own style as 
to pass for a long time as genuine effusions, gives a fair idea of the 
barbarous language which was then known as Latin. 

This opposition, as being in possession, was naturally strong and 
violent, and by every means in its power tried to stamp out and eradicate 
the growing shoot of Hellenism, or Humanism, as it has been diversely 
called. If this was the case in the great universities of Paris and 
Cologne, how much more was it to be expected in monasteries 
where in all probability only one or two students would be found who 
would pursue their lonely studies after surmounting the difficulty of 
obtaining printed books or MSS. in opposition to the wishes and 
determinations of their brother monks, who would put forward the 
unanswerable argument that they were in the monastery for the services 
of the Church and none other, that these new studies were impious and 
heretical, deserving of the severest censure of the Church, and to be put 
down by all and every means ? 

It was in times such as these that Francois Rabelais, at the age of 
seven or nine years, was sent to a monkish seminary. He speaks 
bitterly, as though speaking of his own case, when he exclaims against 
the barbarity of mothers sending young children to such places : " I do 
marvel . . . whether the mothers . . . bear their children nine months 
in their womb, seeing that they cannot bear them nor brook them in 
their houses nine, nay often not seven years ; but by putting only a 
shirt over their robe and by cutting a few hairs on the top of their head 
. . . they transform them into Birds such as you see before you" 
(Bk. v. c. 4). Later on, in the convent of Fontenay-le-Comte, he was 
sickened and disgusted with the machine-like regularity of the wine and 
divine services which succeeded each other in the order of the day, but 
most of all, we may well believe, with the crass and besotted ignorance 



of the other monks, with the sole exception of his friend Pierre Amy, 
who shared his tastes for learning and the persecution which they 
entailed No wonder that he formed the most deeply-rooted and life- 
long antipathy to these ignorant fanatics, who would not only not go 
through the gate of learning, but also violently pulled it to in the face 
of any that would enter in. 

In addition to these prejudices against learning there was that caused 
by the Reformation begun by Luther in 1520, by burning the Bull of 
Excommunication on December 10 at Wittenberg, after his own 
writings had been burnt at Rome, Cologne, and Louvain. The translation 
of the Scriptures was so fiercely withstood by the Papists that it is not a 
matter for surprise that the persecution of learning and learned men 
became crueller than ever. Margaret of Navarre was protected by her 
exalted station, but her officers and protfegls, such as Clement Marot, 
Des Periers, and others, were driven to death or into exile. The fires of 
the Inquisition were lighted, and even Francis I., to his disgrace, took a 
leading part in burning heretics. " Surtout il fat trfes grand justicier. II 
en a fait faire [des h€r£tiques] de grands feux, et en epargna peu d'eux 
qui vinssent k sa connoissance ; sX dit-on que c'est le premier qui a 
montr£ le chemin \ ces brillements " (Brantdme, Vie de Francois I.) 
Rabelais was not of the stuff of which martyrs are made. He had no 
wish to be burned. Three or four times he says that he holds opinions 
jusques au feu exclusivtment Accordingly, when he found his first two 
Books were dangerously provoking the Sorbonne, he expunged or 
altered offending passages in his revised edition of 1542, and obtained 
for himself powerful patrons and protectors, as well as royal privileges 
for the publication of his Third Book. Etienne Dolet, the impetuous 
printer of Lyons, went near to bring both himself and Rabelais into 
danger by republishing the unrevised edition of the first two Books, also 
in 1542. How far Rabelais really gave up his belief in Romanism, is 
hard to say. At all events, outwardly he seems to have conformed to 
its practice. But he was just as obnoxious to the stern Calvinists as to 
the Papists. He was probably a man of too liberal a mind to be tied 
to believe in the efficacy of any forms of worship, though in several 
passages, where he seems to be genuinely speaking for himself, he utters 
sentiments of the truest piety. He was nullius addictus jurare in verba 
magistrt] if any man ever was. At the same time, he had been taught 
by hard experience the necessity for wary walking in the midst of his 
enemies, who feared him as much as they hated him. When he found 
how powerful was the weapon he wielded, he was careful to award praise 
as well as censure with a judicious discrimination. The king was 


always alluded to in most respectful terms, and in the delicate compli- 
ments he pays to his various patrons — such as Geoffroi d'Estissac, the 
brothers du Bellay, Andrl Tiraqueau, and others — he shews himself to 
have been a man of a truly grateful spirit Panurge's remark after 
drowning the dealer and his sheep most likely betrays the writer's own 
sentiments : " Never did man do me a good turn without a recompense, 
or at least an acknowledgment I am not ungrateful, never was, and 
never shall be. Never did man do me an ill turn without repenting it 
either in this world or in the other." 

For the artistic world at the time of the Renaissance he displays but 
little concern. Considering the number of splendid painters and 
architects who were his contemporaries, it seems a little curious to find 
scarcely any notice of art save the mention of the architect Philibert de 
l'Orme, and a picture or two by French painters, and the fact that St 
Peter's, when he saw it, was not yet roofed. And this notwithstanding 
three visits to Rome. He borrows, however, one or two stories which 
appeared in that singular work the Autobiography of Benvenuto 

With the political world he shews, as we should expect, con- 
siderable acquaintance. Being in attendance on Cardinal du Bellay 
in 1534 when he was ambassador at Rome, and evidently coming in 
contact with the principal men of the Papal Court, he was well in- 
formed of what was going on at the time. He was again in Rome in 
1535-6 with Cardinal du Bellay, whom he rejoined in Paris after his 
hurried departure from Rome, and with whom he stayed till after the 
crisis of the attack of Charles V. on Provence. He was also in Rome in 
1549-50, during which stay he wrote the Sciomachie^ so that Rabelais is 
speaking by the mouth of Panurge when he says (iv. 48) that he has 
seen three Popes, viz. Clement VII., Paul III. and Julius III., who 
became Pope February 7, 1550. 

The popular instructors were the pulpit and the stage, which at this 
time was in close connexion with Church teaching ; and in the miracle- 
plays and moralities, which were represented, often in churches and 
places of worship, with a minuteness of detail that was often extremely 
grotesque, the people were indoctrinated and familiarised with great 
truths of Christianity and morality in a way that sometimes gives a 
shock to our modern notions. From this, it seems to me, arose the 
outspokenness, which appears profane to us, with which are mentioned 
the persons of the Trinity and the various events in the Passion of 
Christ ; and to this, I think, must be ascribed the profane exclamations 
and adjurations which in earlier times passed currently in men's mouths. 


The pulpit, moreover, had to descend to the level of its hearers, who 
could only be instructed, even in points of theology, by instances and 
similes of the most familiar description; this we may see in the 
moralisations in the Gesta Romanorum and the stories that are told of 
the preaching of powerful orators like Olivier Maillard and Jean 
Bourgeois, as well as the numberless anecdotes concerning preachers, 
generally to their discredit As to the actual profanity in all this, it does 
not appear to me to have differed greatly from the way in which sacred 
names attached to various colleges in the universities are used in 
familiar conversation, in order merely to indicate a college, to which 
such a name has been attached by its founder, from the most pious and 
reverential motives. 

For the grossness in the Gargantua and Pantagruel it is not so easy 
to find toleration. It is curious, but not surprising, that the feature in 
Rabelais 9 writings that gained readers, popularity and favour for him in 
his own times, and probably also for his translators at the beginning 
of the 1 8th century, is now the cause for his book to be put on 
back shelves and his name even to be mentioned with caution, and 
that notwithstanding the indisputable fact that the book is one of the 
great books of the world, and one which has exercised a widespread 
influence on the literature of Europe and done much to form the French 
language. It may be said that in the joviality of his spirit he allowed 
himself and others too great a latitude, and readily fell in with the 
broadness, not to say grossness, of speech which was prevalent in the 
highest as well as the lowest society in his time, and that he went so far 
as to press into the service of coarseness his great anatomical knowledge. 
For this I am unable to find adequate excuse. It may be that he 
used his grossness as an attraction for his readers ; it may be as a screen 
and shield, under cover of which he could better direct his satirical 
strokes and escape punishment for them ; it may be, in the Third Book, 
the line he was to take was marked out for him by the discussion 
between Bfcuchard and Tiraqueau, which is supposed to be the source 
of his inspiration on the subject of Panurge's marriage; still in that, 
as well as in the abominations that disfigure the first two Books, I am 
unable to find sufficient excuse. However, there the book is, for us to 
make the best and not the worst of. It is margaritam in sterquilinio 
quaerert. But the pearl is there, and it is worth getting. 

On this subject M. Fleury, after speaking of the offences of 
Montesquieu, Voltaire, the Cent Nouvtlhs Nowelles y Brantdme, the 
Heptameron, proceeds to point out that Shakespeare sometimes allows 
himself strange licences, and that the Italian comedies of Machiavelli 


and Cardinal Bibbiena shew no greater reserve. He remarks also that 
the popular songs of all countries have the same character of licence. 
And so Rabelais also took part in the general tone— exaggerating, how- 
ever, as he exaggerated everything. j 

He then goes on: "The morals were none the worse for that. / 
The majority of the songs and roundelays which are still in our own 
day sung in the villages do not shine precisely in the matter of decency. 
The peasant-girls who hear them sung blush a little perhaps, but there 
is no other consequence. The songs sung in the great towns are more 
decent ; the morals much less so. This reserve in words is a matter of 
education, habit, and surroundings." 

We have also to take into consideration the roving propensities of 
Rabelais. From what he lets fell in his writings it seems more than 
probable that he acquainted himself intimately with the life of his own 
province of Touraine, of the neighbouring Poitou and Saintonge, 
as well as something of Brittany, observing carefully the manners 
and customs, and especially the proverbs, patois and peculiarities of 
language wherever he went He carried the same observant habits to 
Montpellier, learning a great deal about Languedoc and Gascony. In 
the interval between 1524 and 1528 there is reason for believing that 
he made a tour of nearly all the French universities (cf. Pant ii. 5), and 
that at Lyons he lost his appointment as physician to the hospital by 
absenting himself twice without leave. He must be speaking for him- 
self when he makes Janotus de Bragmardo quote Pontanus to the effect 
that bells ought to be made of down and the clappers of a fox's brush 
(L 19), and when, in iv. 64, one of Plautus' parasites is represented as 
protesting against the use of clocks and sun-dials. All this is backed 
up by the regulations of the Abbey of Thelema (i. 57). 

On the other side, his diligence and his trustworthiness are sufficiently 
attested by his correspondence with the Bishop of Maillezais from Rome 
in the years 1535-6, when he was in attendance on Jean du Bellay, the 
French Minister at the Papal Court These letters, which I look upon 
as very important, shew Rabelais in the light of a trusted friend to whom 
are committed State secrets of no ordinary kind, as an enthusiastic 
botanist, and an antiquarian keenly interested in research. We are 
debarred from having a book on the antiquities of Rome by Rabelais 
only by the fact that he had been anticipated by Marliani, for whose 
book, however, he writes a dedication — so little is he bitten by jealousy, 
in a case where jealousy often shews itself in its least amiable form. 

Such then is Rabelais — a man of great intellectual powers and 
desire for learning, living in times when learning is encouraged on one 


side and thwarted on the other; capable of great achievements in 
several departments, classical literature, anatomy, botany, medicine; 
with considerable aptitude for diplomacy ; capable of playing a leading 
part, yet forced by circumstances into a subordinate position; a 
man of genial and kindly feelings and full of gratitude to his 
benefactors, and yet forced to shew his powers on the other side, as 
powerfully vindictive rather than spiteful From these incongruous 
materials and curiously interwoven circumstances we have a nature, 
thoroughly warm-hearted and affectionate, developed into that of the 
keenest and most formidable satirist the world has known. 

Rabelais commenced his career as an editor by publishing an 
edition in Greek of the Aphorisms and Prognostics of Hippocrates, the 
De Natura Humana and Ars Parva of Galen. It was printed by 
Sebastian Gryphius at Lyons in 1532, and dedicated to Geoffroi 
d'Estissac, the Bishop of Maillezais. In the same year he published 
Epistolae MedicinaUs Manardi, dedicated to Andr£ Tiraqueau, and the 
Will of Lucius Cuspidius and a Contract of Sale in Roman Times, 
dedicated to Aymery Bouchard These turned out to be forgeries of the 
scholar Pontanus, whom Rabelais holds up to ridicule under the name 
of Taponus (a Bung) in the inouth of Janotus de Bragmardo (L 19). 
In 1534 he published the Topographia antiquae Romae of Marliani, 
with a dedication to Jean du Bellay, Bishop of Paris, one of his kindest 
and most distinguished patrons. In 1533 he published his Panta- 
grueline Prognostication and his first Almanack. These Almanacks he 
published probably every year till the year 1550. We have the preface 
to that of 1533 and of 1535, and the tide-page of that for 1541, a notice 
of one for 1546, 1548, and 1550. 

His great romance, Gargantua and Pantagruel, he began to publish 
in 1532 or 1533. The question of the priority of publication of Gar- 
gantua and Pantagruel has been alluded to already. There is unques- 
tionably a copy of Pantagruel dated 1533, and one of Gargantua dated 
1535. There is also surviving a copy of an edition of Gargantua of 
which the tide-page is lost There are references to Gargantua in the 
Pantagruel, and also in Gargantua references to Pantagruel. It has 
occurred to me more than once that both books were published simulta- 
neously or nearly so, and that the various chapters had been circulated in 
manuscript among Rabelais' patients, " for to them and none other are 
my writings dedicated." This would to a certain extent account for the 
inferiority of the Pantagruel to the Gargantua, and for the fact that in 
some points it appears to be another edition of certain parts. The 
view of MM. Brunet and Fleury, that the Chroniques Gargantuines 


were the first essay, that this was succeeded by Pantagrutl, and after 
that the Gargantua was published in 1535 as a vastly improved 
Chroniques Gargantuines, has much plausibility. 

The framework of the book was in a way supplied by the Romances 
and Legends of Chivalry and Stories of Giants which were so much in 
vogue at the time, such as Amadis de Gaul, FUrabras, Huron de Bor- 
deaux, Les quatres fils Aymon, and a host of others. These Rabelais 
pressed into his service, as well as his own wide reading in the classical 
literature of Greece and Rome and the odds and ends of notes of his 
travels which were stored away in his retentive memory. In his First 
Book we have mixed up with the marvels of the gigantic strength and 
feats of Gargantua his thoroughly common-sense view of education ) 
which is even now mentioned with much respect, his humane andf 
sensible ideas on war and conquest, and his novel notions for thef 
regulation of an Abbey. These points and the introduction of Friar J 
John are the important features and, we may truly say, novelties iir 
this Book. In the Second Book, Pantagruel, we find the Library of St. 
Victor ; the introduction of Panurge and his tricks ; the unintelligible 
pleadings of the two Lords before Pantagruel, and Pantagruers sentence; 
and the war against the Dipsodes and the Giants, a second and very 
inferior edition of the war of the First Book. Thus we have in these 
two Books an utter rebellion against the prevailing fashions in education, 
religion, literature, law, and war. Besides the books already mentioned, 
Rabelais had before him and undoubtedly used the Adages, Colloquies, 
and Moriae Encomium of Erasmus, the Utopia of Sir Thomas More 
(1516), iheEpistolae Obseurorum Virorum of Ulrich van Hutten (1516), 
and the Macaronics of Merlin Coccai (Theophilo Folengo), (15 17). 
Our author's views on his subjects were adopted from or shared by 
Erasmus and More, and find many supporters at the present time, but 
I suppose they must wait for their complete adoption for the millen- 
nium when reges philosophantur aut phtiosophi regnant 

In the matter of style, opinions must needs differ somewhat. It 
may be thought by some that Rabelais was utterly regardless of style. 
To this view I certainly cannot subscribe. In some respects he is care- 
less, but mostly in matters of detail, such as putting Heraclitus for 
Democritus, and a few other slips quas aut incuriafudit aut humana 
parum cavit natura, but in the main his chapters shew very great care 
and precision, especially in the Third Book, which is the most elaborated. 
His style seems to me terse and graphic to a wonderful degree, and 
the praise which has been freely and rightly given to Sir Thomas 
Urquhart for his translation is, to my mind, due at least in as great 


a degree to the original. The French of Rabelais is simple and vigor- 
ous, tinged a good deal with the Hellenism which found favour 
at that time, but to a comparatively small extent pedantic — not so 
pedantic as the quaint and amusing Sir Thomas Browne or even Milton 
(see for instance Paradise Lost, bk. x.), who had read as extensively 
as Rabelais himself. In the adoption of words formed from Latin or 
Greek, it seems to me that modern French is more in fault (if it be a 
fault) than that of earlier writers. Rabelais' great power as a stylist is 
best shewn in the way he tells a story, which he adopts from (say) an 
old Italian novel, and makes it entirely his own, setting all the actors 
alive before his reader. A good instance is in the story of Seigny John, 
the Paris fool (iii. 37). 

Having found his feet, so to speak, and realised his strength, and 
also learned the necessity of caution in the use of his satire, % Rabelais 
was careful to put himself under the protection of powerful patrons 
before he ventured to bring out his Third Book, which is much 
superior to its predecessors, though possibly it may not contain con- 
structive ideas so original as those put forward in the First Book. The 
Third Book appeared in Paris in 1546, accompanied by the privilege of 
Francis I.; and its last edition in Rabelais' lifetime, reviewed and 
corrected by the author, was published in 1552, accompanied by a 
privilege of Henry IL In this Book the gigantic proportions of 
Pantagruel are reduced, and he appears as an amiable, enlightened and 
learned prince, attended by his devoted friends Friar John, Panurge, 
Epistemon, Carpalim and others. Pantagruel fully recognises the good 
qualities of Friar John and Panurge, and laughingly tolerates and 
excuses their bad points, though on one or two occasions he administers 
a sharp rebuke to their excesses of speech. Friar John is. the embodi- 
ment of the good as well as the bad side of the monk abroad, always 
excepting their hypocrisy. Of this he has not a jot. He is outspoken 
to a degree, kindly-disposed, always ready to lend a helping hand, 
tippling and jesting with the best He is learned enough to quote or 
misquote his breviary, even to the point of profanity. A summary of 
his character is given by Gymnast (L 42), Monachus in claustro non valet 
ova duo; Sed quando est extra, bene valet triginta. The character of 
Panurge is that of his prototype Margutte in Morgante Maggiore or 
Cingar in the Macaronics of Merlin Coccai, from whom he is borrowed. 
He is spiteful, vindictive and cynical in the extreme, unblushingly 
propounding ideas from which the common-sense of humanity would 
revolt. In his poltroonery, and attempts to hide it, he much reminds 
one of Falstaff, with whom, notwithstanding their great diversity in size 


and temperament, he has much in common. His practical jokes, which 
are generally malicious, are certainly not such as to recommend him, but 
in spite of this unamiability, which runs through everything he says or 
does, Rabelais manages to invest him with a species of comicality which 
is very amusing. In this he resembles Falstaff. With respect to the 
other characters, their Greek name generally suffices to describe them ; 
Epistemon is the learned or knowing one, Carpalim the swift one, 
Eusthenes the strong man, and so on. Now and then, however, each of 
them says something which redeems him from being commonplace; 
especially Epistemon, who occasionally serves as the mouthpiece of 
Rabelais himself. This is not unfrequently the case with Panurge and 
Friar John. 

Here perhaps should be noticed the "keys" to Rabelais, which 
were nof uncommon in the 18th century, one of which is put forward 
by MM. Johanneau and Esmangart in their useful variorum edition 
published in 1823. In this edition the theory that each character in 
Rabelais represented throughout some king, noble, or churchman, and 
that every action or speech by Friar John or Panurge finds its counter- 
part in some passage in the life of the person represented, is carried to 
such lengths as to amount almost to an hallucination. It is indeed 
not improbable that Grandgousier in many of his amiable traits is meant 
as a general likeness of Louis XII. In some cases Gargantua may 
resemble Francis I., and Pantagruel Henry II., but it would not be 
difficult also to find points of resemblance between Francis and Panta- 
gruel. No doubt Rabelais intended the kings of France to take to 
themselves the general pieces of commendations of the heroes of his 
romance ; at the same time, a careful reader will not fail to perceive 
several touches of remonstrance dexterously slipped in, which might 
perhaps touch the conscience of the king without bringing mischief on 
the writer. It is, moreover, possible that the known sentiments and 
habits of some of the courtiers may be attributed to the characters on 
this stage. M. Heulhard suggests, with some probability, that the 
Seigneur de Langey furnished some traits for the character of Pantagruel 
But I do not think it can be carried much farther than that. Our 
author in his various chapters marks out a special point which he 
wishes to represent more or less satirically, and then depicts it and 
elaborates it out of the wealth of his own varied reading, observation 
and memory. 

The Third Book begins with Panurge, as Governor of Salmigondin, 
recklessly wasting his substance and running headlong into debt. 
Pantagruel remonstrates with him, and is answered in two really won- 


derful chapters in praise of debtors and lenders. It is in reality a 
sermon on the mutual dependence of every one on some one else. The 
illustrations are taken from the Macrocosm, or Universe, and the Micro- 
cosm, or Man, the latter being merely an extension of the fable of the 
Belly and the Members. This has been imitated or borrowed by the 
witty divine South in a sermon on Ingratitude. Notwithstanding the 
eloquent apology of Panurge, his master remains unconvinced, pays his 
debts, and tells him "not to do it again." Upon this Panurge is, or 
affects to be, miserable, goes into vagaries of dress and bearing, appears 
before Pantagruel and asks whether he ought to marry or not On this 
chapter depends all that follows till the end of the Fifth and last Book. 
Every possible species of divination is tried ; experts in the various 
faculties and professions are consulted to know whether Panurge is to 
marry, and with what result The result foretold is in every instance 
unfavourable, and the enquirer is consequently dissatisfied Towards 
the end of the Third Book they determine to go on a voyage to consult 
the oracle of the Holy Bottle, which they have to find by means of the 
north-west passage. After many adventures they finally succeed, and 
are merely given the word " Drink," which seems to satisfy them, for iv 
olvtp akrjBeui. 

By the arrangement just described Rabelais is enabled in the Third 
Book to satirise in their turns the pretenders to knowledge of every 
kind, divines, alchemists, poets, ecclesiastics, physicians, philosophers, 
lawyers — in fact, " all sorts and conditions of men." In the Fourth Book 
he makes his pilgrims touch at various islands, each of which is inhabited 
by a different sort of people, whom he can analyse and hold up to 
ridicule. The voyage is diversified by various incidents and stories, so 
that the islands do not succeed each other monotonously. The Fourth 
Book seems to me to have lost a good deal of the liveliness and joviality 
of the Third, and to have increased in bitterness. This also is the case 
with the Fifth Book to a still greater degree. Although in the Fifth Book 
the travellers reach the goal for which they started, and although I think 
it is in the main the work of Rabelais, I cannot help coming to the con- 
clusion of the Bibliophile Jacob (the discoverer of the MS. of this Book), 
that it was left unfinished by Rabelais and that there are some inter- 
polations in it. It undoubtedly exceeds in bitterness of tone, nor do I 
think that this ought to surprise us when we bear in mind that the 
writer had lost most of his contemporaries, friends and protectors, and 
there can have been little left in his cup of life but what was very bitter. 

















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Of the First Book (Gargantua) four editions were published which 
Rabelais supervised : 

A. The edition published before 1 535, of which only one copy survives 

in the Library, Rue de Richelieu, in Paris. Unfortunately the 
title-page is lost. 

B. The Lyons edition, published by F. Juste in 1535. 

C. The edition of 1537, published at the same place and by the same 


D. The edition of 1 542 ; same place and printer. In this edition 

Rabelais has introduced alterations in revision in order to allay 
the virulence of the Sorbonne. This edition, republished in 1870 
by MM. de Montaiglon and Lacour, with the variants of the 
three former editions, has been mainly followed in the present 

The early editions of the Second Book (Pantagruel) were : 

A. An undated edition published at Lyons by Claude Nourry, of which 
the only copy existing is in the Library, Rue de Richelieu. Of this 
there is a counterfeited edition published by Marnef at Paris. 

B An edition published at Lyons in 1534 by F. Juste. There exists 
only one copy — in the Royal Library at Dresden. 

C. Another edition of the same date and place, bearing the monogram 

of F. Juste on the title-page. The one copy of this edition be- 
longed to M. Jacques-Charles Brunet, but is now lost to sight. 
M. Jannet collated the variants. 

D. The edition F. Juste of 1542. 

In considering the priority of the composition of the Gargantua and 
the First Book of Pantagruel the important points appear to be — (1) 
the general superiority of Gargantua to Pantagruel ; (2) the fact that 
vol. 1 e 


of the surviving first editions of the former there is one dated 1535, 
and one of which the title-page is lost Of Pantagruel there exist an 
undated copy of an edition published at Lyons by Claude Nourry, and 
a copy of an edition by F. Juste at Lyons, dated 1533. 

(3) In 1532 there was published a small book entitled Les Grandes et 
incstitnabUs Chronicques du grant et enorme geant Gargantua : contenant 
la gcncalogie, la grandeur et force de son corps. Aussi les merveilleux 
faictz darmes qiSilfist four le Roy Artus comme verrez cy apres. Imprime 
nouveUement. 1532. 

In this there is a great deal about Merlin having brought about the 
birth of Gargantua and got him to enter the service of King Arthur, 
and to destroy and make prisoners of his enemies, the Irish and the 
Hollanders. The incidents of the enormous mare knocking down trees 
with her tail and the apparelling of Gargantua have some resemblance 
to the same incidents in Gargantua^ and the style, though much cruder, 
has some likeness to that of Rabelais. M. Brunet also makes a point 
of the second edition of this booklet (1533) being altered and augmented 
at the end by an account of Gargantua's marriage with Badebec 
(cf. ii. 2), and of the following passage, which is supposed to be a 
reference to the new Pantagruel now in course of printing : " Et eut ung 
filz de Badebec son epouse, lequel a faict autant de vaillances que 
Gargantua. Et le pourrez veoir par la vraye Chronicque laquelle est 
une petite partie imprimle. Et quelque jour que messieurs de Sainct 
Victor vouldront on prendra la coppie de la reste des faictz de Gargantua, 
et de son filz Pantagruel. 


From this MM. Brunet and Fleury would draw the conclusion that 
Rabelais first wrote Les Grandes Chronicques in 1532, afterwards the First 
Book of Pantagruel^ and then in 1535, or a little earlier, brought out 
the Gargantua as an improved Chronicques. M. Brunet points out that 
the editions of serious books, such as the Aphorisms of Hippocrates, the 
Topographical books, etc., are printed by Gryphius, and that the 
Pantagrueline Prognostication and Almanacks and such like are printed 
by Nourry and Juste. But the Grandes Chronicques gives no printer's 
name, though the type seems to be Nourry's ; and what appears to me 
to make against the authorship of Rabelais is that there are no classical 
allusions whatever throughout it, whereas in the Almanacks and Prog- 
nostication there are several. It is hard to believe that Rabelais would 
write a piece of that length without some allusion to the Classics or the 
Arabian physicians, or something of that sort 


On the other hand, the first chapter of Gargantua begins with a 
reference to the Chroniquc Pantagrueline for an account of the 
genealogy and antiquity of Gargantua. This can scarcely be any other 
than the pedigree of Gargantua and Pantagruel in the first chapter of 
the Second Book (Pantagruel). Moreover, in the Prologue of Pantagruel 
is found mention of " les grandes et inestimables chroniques de l'enorme 
geant Gargantua," and an account is given of the comfort and relief that 
has been afforded in cases of sickness and tedium by the reading of " les 
inestimables faits dudit Gargantua "; and later the remark that the world 
has known by experience the advantage derived from " ladite chronique 
Gargantuine, car il en a est£ plus vendu par les imprimeurs en deux 
mois, qu'il ne sera achetl de Bibles en neuf ans." 

MM. des Marets and Moland protest very strongly against Rabelais 
being the author of Les Grandes Chronicques, a work entirely unworthy 
of him; but in spite of that and in spite of the want of classical 
allusions, I am driven by the tendency of the cross-references and the 
other allusions to believe that M. Brunet is right, and that the order 
of composition and publication was : 

i. Les Grandes Chronicques, 

2. Pantagruel, 

3. Gargantua, 

and that Rabelais dropped the Chronicques and subsequently arranged 
the two Books in the order in which we now have them. 

It is also to be remarked that Rabelais' enemies, the Sorbonists and 
Calvinists, always describe all the Books generically as Pantagruel and 
not Gargantua. This is perhaps a small matter, but it makes in the 
same direction. 

In 1542 were published three editions of Gargantua and Pantagruel 
(Book ii.) ; one (D) by F. Juste, in which serious alterations had been 
made by the author for prudential reasons. Another was published by 
Etienne Dolet, the impetuous Lyons printer. Although in the preface 
Dolet offers it as " prochainement reveue et augmentle de beaucoup par 
l'autheur mgme," he not only left in the text obnoxious words and 
passages, but aggravated others. He added the Prognostication Panta- 
grueline and other minor productions, and also Le voyage et navigation 
que fist Panurge, disciple de Pantagruel, aux Isles incogneues, with the 
same paging, though he does not attribute the last piece, as he does the 
rest of the book, to Maistre Alcofribas. On the ground that one or two 
episodes in this publication have been partly adopted or developed 
in the Fourth and Fifth Books of Pantagruel, Lacroix advocates the 
theory that Rabelais was the author of this little work. There is 


certainly not so much to be said for it as for Les Grandes Chronicques. 
The parts taken from it will be pointed out as they occur. 

Another edition of these books was published in 1542 by Pierre 
de Tours, who had apparently succeeded to Juste's business. At the 
beginning of this appears a curious letter from the printer to the reader, 
containing angry complaints against a certain plagiarist (evidently 
Dolet), and written, or at all events inspired, as M. Brunet is disposed 
to believe, by Rabelais. The style is very bitter, and resembles that of 
our author; but whoever wrote it, it is certain that Dolet at this time 
lost the favour of Rabelais, Marot, Susanneau and Boysonne. He went 
to the stake in 1546 "deserted by all the world," and only Theodore de 
Beza laments him in hendecasyllabics. 

Of the Third Book two different editions were published in Rabelais' 
lifetime : 

1. 1546. W. An edition divided into forty-seven chapters, though 

really there are only forty -six, chapter 26 being followed by 
chapter 28 in the notation. Rabelais is styled Doctor in Medicine 
and Calloier des Isles Uteres. 

Published by Chrestien Wechel, Paris, Rue Sainct Jacques, at 
the Basle Arms ; and Rue Sainct Jehan de Beauvoys, at the 
Flying Horse ; with the privilege of Francis I., dated September 
19, 1545. 

2. 1552. F. An edition containing fifty- two chapters. The title 

Calloier des Isles Uteres is omitted. 

Published by Michael Fezandat of Paris, with the privilege of 
Henry II., dated August 6, 155a 

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1 Akcfribas. Nasier Alcofribas is an mirth of his book as the H/imi ofola of 

anagram on Francois Rabelais. things. In the same sense he calls Aris- 

* Q$d*tesscnc*. Rabelais regards the tophanes " The Quintessential " in v. 22. 
• *, VOL. I B 


My kindly Readers, who this Book begin, 

All Prejudice, I pray you, lay aside, 
And reading it, find no Offence therein ; 

In it nor Hurt nor Poison doth abide. 

Tis true that small Perfection here doth hide ; 
Nought will you learn save only Mirth's Delight ; 
No other Subject can my Heart indite, 

Seeing the Dole that wastes and makes you wan ; 
Tis better far of Mirth than Tears to write, 

For Laughter is the special 1 Gift to Man. 


1 \Un¥ov yeA$ tup fcta? ArOpunros (Arist depart, an. iii. io). 



Drinkers very illustrious and you, very precious pockified Patients, — 

for to you and none other are dedicated my Writings — Alcibiades in 

the Dialogue of Plato entitled % Tht Banquet, praising his Preceptor • ,s>»rAw. »is a 

Socrates, without controversy Prince of Philosophers, among other 

Remarks, said that he was like the Sileni. 

Sileni of old were little Boxes, such as we see at present in the Shops 
of the Apothecaries, painted outside with wanton toyish Figures, such 
as Harpies, Satyrs, bridled Geese, homed Hares, saddled Ducks, flying 
Goats, Stags in Harness, and other such Paintings counterfeited at 
pleasure, to stir people to laugh, just such as was Silenus, Master of the 
good Bacchus; but within were stored fine Drugs, such as Balsam, 
Ambergris, 1 Amomum, 8 Musk, Civet, Minerals, 8 and other precious 

Such he declared b Socrates to be, because, seeing him from outside * pi aL Symp. 
and rating him by his exterior Appearance, you would not have given 
a Shred of an Onion for him, so ugly was he in Figure and ridiculous 
in Bearing, with a pointed Nose, 4 his Look that of a Bull, and the 

1 Ambergris (cf. ii. 24), a kind of nosed. Cf. Theaet. 143 E : wpoa4ouc€ di 

scented fat, formerly much used in cook- troi rip re fri/xorijra xal rb *£« rQw ty- 

cry. SaXfuhr. The " look of a Bull " seems to 

In pastry built, or from the spit or boiled, be taken from the passage in the Phaedo 

Gris amber steamed. (117B), where Socrates, being about to 

Milton, Par. Reg. ii. 344. drink the poison, fovep eLb6a Tavprfib* 

1 Amentum, an aromatic Indian vroffiJif/at wp6t to* fodpuror. From 

plant Plin.xii. 13, §28; Virg.^. iii. 89. Phaedrus, 229 A, we learn that he went 

* Fr. piemrus here bears the mean- without shoes. The excellent qualities 

ing of minerals used as drugs (M. ) afterwards assigned to him are taken from 

4 The "pointed Nose" is not borne out the panegyric of Alcibiades in the Sym- 

in Plato, where Socrates is said to be snub- posium. 

2X6 D. 


Countenance of a Madman; being simple in Manners, boorish in 
Apparel, poor in Fortune, unfortunate in his Wives, unfit for all Offices 
of State, always laughing, always carousing and drinking to every one, 
always gibing, always dissembling his divine Knowledge; but on 
opening this Box you would have found within a celestial and 
inestimable Drug, Understanding more than human, admirable Virtue, 
indomitable Courage, unparalleled Sobriety, imperturbable Content, 
unshaken Firmness, incredible Misprision of everything for which Men 
do so much watch, run, toil, sail and wrangle. 

To what Object, in your Notion, does this Prelude and preliminary 
Flourish tend ? 

It is forasmuch as you, my good Disciples, and some other Fools who 
are at leisure, in reading the pleasant Titles of certain Books of our 
Invention such as Gargantua, Pantagruel, Fesse-pinte, The Dignity of 
Cod-pieces, Of Peas and Bacon with a Commentary, etc., judge too 
readily that there is nothing treated on within but Scoffing, Drolleries, 
and pleasant Fictions, seeing that the outward Sign (that is, the Title), 
without further Enquiry, is commonly received with Derision and 

But it is not fitting so lightly to esteem the Works of Men ; for you 
yourselves say that it is not the Habit that makes the Monk, 5 and many 
a one is clad in monkish Dress who inwardly is anything but a Monk, 
and many a one wears a Spanish Cloak who in point of Courage has 
nothing to do with Spain. Therefore it is that you must open the Book 
and carefully weigh what is treated therein. Then shall you find that 
the Drug contained within is of far higher Value than the Box 
promised ; that is to say, that the Matters treated on here are not such 
Buffoonery as the Title without shewed forth. 

And, put the Case, that in the literal Sense you find Matters plea- 
sant enough and well corresponding to the Name, for all that, you 

• Hom. od. xii should not stop there as at the Song of the c Sirens, but interpret in 
59.54, 1 5-aoo. ^ higher Sense what perhaps you thought was spoken only in Gaiety 

of Heart. 

Did you ever pick a Lock to steal Wine-bottles ? Tchuck I 6 Recall 
to your Memory the Countenance you then wore. But did you ever see a 

* R*p.yfiK. Dog encountering some Marrow-bone? He is, as Plato says d (lib. ii. 

• Cucullus non facit xnonachum. 
La robbene faict le moyne. f Tchuck ! Fr. Caisgnt = Chienne. 

Roman <U la Rest. Here used as an exclamation to indicate 

L'abit k moyne ne fait pas. delight at success; perhaps suggesting 

Charles d'Orteans, Rondeau 195 the metaphor of the Dog. 
(ed. d'Hencault, 1874). 



de Rep.\ the most philosophical Animal in the World. If you have 
seen him, you may have noted with what Devotion he watches it, with 
what Care he guards it, how fervently he holds it, with what Prudence 
he gobbets it, with what Affection he breaks it, and with what 
Diligence he sucks it. What induces him to do this? What is the 
Hope of his Research ? What good does he set before him ? Nothing 
more than a little Marrow. True it is that this Little is more delicious 
than Quantities of all other sorts of Meat, because the Marrow is an 
Aliment perfectly elaborated by Nature, as Galen saith, Hi. Facult. not. 
and xi. De usu partium. 

In imitation of this Dog it becomes you to be wise, to smell, feel, 
and value these goodly Books stuffed with lofty Matters, 7 easy in the 
Pursuit and tough in the Encounter, 8 and then by careful Reading and 
frequent Meditation to break the Bone and suck the substantial 
Marrow, that is to say, what I understand by these Pythagorean 
Symbols ; in the assured Hope of becoming expert and valiant in the 
said Reading ; for in it you will find quite another kind of Taste and 
more abstruse Learning, which will reveal to you very high Sacraments 
and dread Mysteries, as much in that which concerns our Religion as 
also the public Polity and private Life. 

Do you believe, on your Oath, that Homer, when writing the Iliad 
and Odyssey ', ever thought of the Allegories which have been squeezed 
out of him by Plutarch, Heraclides Ponticus, 9 Eustathius, 10 Phornutus, u 
and which Politian, 12 in his turn, has filched from them ? If you do 
believe it, you do not either by Feet or Hands come over to my 
Opinion, 13 which decrees that they were as little dreamed of by Homer M 
as the Sacraments of the Gospel were by Ovid in his Metamorphoses^ 

7 de haulte gresse, infra ii. 7. The 
commentators mostly take gresse=graisse t 
finding chapons, fores, etc., de haute 
gresse. It seems, however, possible to= 
Lat gressus. 

* legiers au prochat et hardit a la 
rencontre, evidently metaphors from 

• Heraclides of Heraclea in Pontus, 
a papQ of Plato and afterwards of Aris- 
totle. He was a Pythagorising and 
allegorising Platonist He is often 
mentioned by Cicero ; cf. De Nat. Deor. 


19 Eustathius, Archbishop of Thes- 
salonica in the 12th century ; author of 
a voluminous commentary on Homer. 

u Phornutus (properly L. Annaeus 
Cornutus, but printed Phorn. in the edition 
of Aldus, 1505), a Stoic born at Leptis in 
Africa, instructor of Persius and Lucan, 
banished by Nero. He wrote Theoria de 
Natura Deorum. 

u Angelo Politiano (1454-1494), 
the great mediaeval scholar, friend of 
Budaeus and Lascaris, protege* of the 
Medicis. He wrote a preface to Homer 
in which he was falsely accused of 

u Fr. vous riapprockcz ny de pieds ny 
de mains a mon opinion, an adaptation of 
(manious et) pedibus ire in sententiam, 

14 Montaigne expresses the same 
opinion, ii 12, subJUu 




though a certain lickerish Friar, 16 a true Bacon-eater, has striven to 
prove it, in case he should meet people as very Fools as himself and 
(as the Proverb says) " a Lid to match the Kettle." 

If you do not believe it, what Reason is there why you should not 
do as much for these jovial new Chronicles of mine, although in 
dictating them I thought no more of it than you, who possibly were 
drinking, as I was ? For in composing this lordly Book I never lost or 
employed more or other Time than that which was appointed to take 
my bodily Refection, to wit, whilst eating and drinking. Moreover, 
that is the proper Time to write these high Matters and profound 
Sciences, as Homer, the Paragon of all Philologers, knew well how to 
do, and Ennius too, Father of the Latin Poets, as Horace 16 witnesseth, 
though a certain misbegotten 17 Knave has declared that his Verses 
smacked more of Wine than of Oil. 

A certain scurvy Fellow said the same of my Books ; but a Fig for 
him 1 The Odour of Wine, oh ! how much more dainty, alluring, 
enticing, 18 more celestial and delicious than that of Oil 1 And I will 
glory as much that it should be said of me that I have expended more 
in Wine than in Oil, as ever Demosthenes did when they said of him 
that he spent more on Oil than on Wine. To me it is only an Honour 
and Glory to be called and reputed a Good fellow 19 and a pleasant 
Companion, and under this Name I am welcome in all good Companies 
of Pantagruelists ; it was imputed as a Reproach to Demosthenes by a 
Malignant * that his Speeches smelt like the Sarpler or Clout that had 
stopped a filthy, dirty Oil-lamp. 

Therefore interpret all my Deeds and Sayings in the perfectest Senses 
hold in Reverence the cheese-shaped Brain which feeds you with all 
these jolly Maggots, 21 and to the utmost of your Power keep me 
always merry. 

M Thomas Wallis, an English Domini- 
can monk, who wrote a book entitled 
Metamorphosis Ovidiana moraliter ex- 
pkmata, in which he tries to make out 
conformities between the Bible and Ovid 
(Paris 1509). 

18 Laudibus aiguitur vini rinosus Homerus. 

Ennius ipse pater nuxnquam nisi potus ad 


Prceiluit dicenda. 

Hor. Eft. i. 19, 6. 

17 Fr. malautru, O.F. malostru, from 
Lat. male structus or male instructus. 
(See Du Cange, s.v.) 

18 Fr. /riant, riant, priant. From 
the second stanza of the Third chanson of 

La blanche colombelle belle 
Souvent je voys priant, criant : 
Mais dessoubx la cordelle d'elle 
Me jecte un ceil friant, riant. 

u Fr. bon Gaultier, from gaudir 

* Pytheas. Plutarch, Vit. Dem. 
c 8. 

n Fr. bilks veties = boules veztes (from 
Lat. vesica), blown-up bladders. 

prol. GARGANTUA 9 

So be frolic, my little Dears, and joyfully read the rest to the ease 
of your Body and comfort of your Reins. But, hearken, Joltheads, 
Boils and Blains be on you ; remember to drink to me, that I may do 
you Reason, and I will pledge M you on the spot 28 

n Fr. plegeray. In the old Morality- a Fr. ares metys, a Gascon expression 

play Condamnacicn de Bcauquet one of for "at once," perhaps derived from Low 
the characters is called fepleige d'autant. Latin horanutipsa. 



The genealogy, birth, name, clothing, youth, etc, of Gargantua, cc. i- 
xiii. His instruction under a sophist and other pedagogues, xiv. xv. 
His journey to Paris on the great Mare, xvi. He takes away the bells 
of Notre-dame, xvii. The sophist Janotus de Bragmardo comes and 
pleads for their restoration, goes away with his cloth, and enters an 
action against the Sorbonne, xviii-xx. The studies of Gargantua under 
the old system, xxi. xxii. ; under the new, xxiii. xxiv. The strife between 
the cake-bakers of Lern£ and Gargantua's men, and the war that arose 
from it between Picrochole and Gargantua, xxv. xxvi. How a Monk 
of Seuill6 saved the abbey close, xxvii. The course of the war — Gar- 
gantua's overtures for peace — The advice of Picrochole's councillors 
— Various adventures — Gargantua and his men totally defeat Picrochole 
— The rewards given by Gargantua to his men, and the treatment and 
jovial behaviour of the Monk, xxviii-li. Building of the Abbey of 
Thelema as a reward to the Monk — Inscription on the gate of Thelema 
— The dress and rules of the Order — Enigma discovered in digging the 
foundations, lii-lviii. 


Of the Genealogy and Antiquity of Gargantua 

I refer you to the Grand Pantagrueline Chronicle l for the Knowledge 

of the Genealogy and Antiquity whence Gargantua is descended unto us. 

Therein you will understand more at length how the Giants were born 

in this World, and how from them by direct Line issued Gargantua, 

Father of Pantagruel, and it shall not misplease you if for the present I 

pass it over, although the Matter be such, that the more it should be 

remembered the more it would please your Lordships ; for which you 

have the authority of a Plato in Phikbo et Gorgia, and also of b Flaccus, » pfaub. 59 ■; 

who says that there are certain Subjects (without doubt such as this) ^^0^.^.365. 

which are the more delectable the oftener they are repeated. 

Would to God that every one had as certain Knowledge of his 
Genealogy from Noah's Ark up to the present Age. I think there be 
many this day who are Emperors, Kings, Dukes, Princes and Popes on 
the Earth who are descended from some Carriers of Indulgences and 
Faggots ; * as on the contrary many are Beggars from Door to Door, 
suffering poor Wretches, who are descended from the Blood and Lineage 
of great Kings and Emperors, 8 when we consider the wonderful Transfer- 
ence of Kingdoms and Empires : 

1 CkronuU, This seems to refer to Book; then Gargantua, or the First 

the Chronicle at the beginning of the Book. In this they are possibly right. 

Second Book, and to afford an argument but I do not like to believe that 

that the Books were written and pub- Rabelais wrote the Grande* Chromques 

lished in the reverse order to that in which Gargantuines. 
they are now arranged. MM. Brunet ' Fr. rogatons et coustrttu 
and Fleury think that the First Book * This may well be derived from 

is a very much improved edition of Seneca, Epist. 44,84: "Plato ait (Tkeaet. 

the Grand** Chroniques Gargantuines, 174 e- 175 b) neminem regem non ex 

which they put first in order of pub- servis oriundum, neminem servum non 

lication ; then Pantagruel, or the Second ex regibus.' 




From the Assyrians to the Medes, 
From the Medes to the Persians, 
From the Persians to the Macedonians, 
From the Macedonians to the Romans, 
From the Romans to the Greeks, 
From the Greeks to the French. 4 

And to give you to understand concerning myself, who am speaking 
to you, I fully believe that I am descended from some rich King or Prince 
in times of yore ; for never did you see a man who had a greater Desire 
to be a King and to be rich than I, to the end that I may make good 
Cheer, do no Work, trouble myself not a whit, and plentifully enrich my 
Friends and people of Worth and of Knowledge : but herein do I 
ecr. a. 30. comfort myself that in the other c World I shall be all this, nay greater 
than at present I dare to wish. Do you then in such, or a better, Belief 
take Comfort in your Misfortunes and drink lustily, if it can be done. 

To return to our Point, 6 I declare to you that by the sovereign Gift 
of the Heavens, to us hath been reserved the Antiquity and Genealogy of 
Gargantua more perfect than any other, except that of the Messias, of 
which I do not speak, for to me it doth not pertain ; moreover the Devils 
(that is the Calumniators and Hypocrites) are against me. And it was 
found by John Audeau 6 in a Meadow which he had near the Arch 
Gualeau below the Olive leading to Narsay. As he was having the 
Ditches of this opened, the Diggers with their Mattocks struck on a 
great Tomb of Bronze, immeasurably long, for they never found the End 
of it, by reason that it entered too far into the Sluices of the Vienne. 7 

Opening this at a certain Place which was sealed at the Top with 
the Sign of a Goblet, round which was written in Etruscan Letters hic 
bibitur, they found nine Flagons, in order such as they range their 

4 By Greeks Rabelais means the 
Greeks of the Eastern Empire, which he 
supposes passed to Charlemagne and 
Louis le Debonnair. He also refers to 
the French emperors who reigned at 
Constantinople after Baldwin (1203-1261). 

• Fr. retournant a noz mcutons{i. 11, 
iii. 34). This well-known phrase is 
taken from the old French Comedy La 
Farce de Maitre Pathelin (line 1282), 
which Rabelais often quotes. The actual 
words are revenons a ces moutons, used by 
a judge before whom a draper is suing a 
shepherd for maltreating his sheep. The 
draper forgets the case in point, when he 

sees the rascally advocate Pathelin, who 
has cheated him out of some cloth, de- 
fending the shepherd. He wanders off 
to the robbery of the cloth and is called 
to order by the judge with this phrase. 

6 John Audeau, Probably some early 
acquaintance of Rabelais. The Arch 
Gualeau and Narsay are places in the 
neighbourhood of Chinon, the associations 
of which Rabelais so much delighted to 
introduce into his romance. 

7 The Vienne is the river on which 
Chinon stands and which flows into the 
Loire a little below, about half-way be- 
tween Chinon and Saumur. 

chap, i GARGANTUA 15 

Skittles in Gascony, of which that which was placed in the middle, 
covered a great, greasy, grand, grey, pretty, little, mouldy Booklet, 

Stronger, but not sweeter-scented than Roses. 8 

In this Book was the said Genealogy found written out at length in a 
Chancery Hand, not on Paper, not on Parchment, not on Wax, but on 
Elm-bark, so much, however, worn by old Age that scarcely could three 
Letters on end be discerned 

Unworthy though I be, I was sent for thither and with much Help 
from Spectacles, practising the Art by which one can read Letters that 
are not apparent, as Aristotle teaches, translated it, as you may see in 
your Pantagruelising, that is to say, in drinking to your heart's Desire 
and reading the horrific Exploits of Pantagruel. 

At the end of the Book was a little Treatise, intituled "Antidoted 
Conundrums." The Rats and Moths or (not to lie) other malignant 
Vermin had nibbled off the Beginning ; the Remains I have hereto 
subjoined, from my Reverence to Antiquity. 

8 Reignier {Sat. x. 219) has borrowed this proverbial expression. 


The Antidoted Conundrums 1 found in an ancient Monument 

II e I : ! re is come the Cimbrians' mighty Victor 
: : : hing through Air, from Terror of the Dew. 
— . his Incoming all the Tubs were filled 
: ! . . h Butter fresh, all falling in a Shower : 
</» . ith which when mighty Ocean was bespattered 
He cried aloud : " Sirs, pray you, fish it up ; 
Therewith his Beard is nearly all embossed ; * 
Or, at the least, pray hold a Ladder for him." 

Some did aver that so to lick his Slipper 
Was better than the Pardons for to gain ; 
But there came up a crafty Graymalkin 
From out the Hollow where they fish for Roach, 
Who said : " For God's sake, Sirs, keep we from it, 
The Eel is there, 'tis hiding in this Pond. 
There will you find (if we look closely in it) 
A great Blot at the bottom of his Amice." 

1 It has been thought best to translate 
this chapter as simply as possible, without 
attempting to do more than put it into 
rough blank verse. Rabelais can hardly 
have meant more than to puzzle his 
contemporaries by dropping now and 
then what might be taken for allusions or 
hints, and inducing them to " find out 
meanings never meant/' In this he has 
been successful with later commentators. 
It seems not improbable that Rabelais 
(whose forte was not poetry) ^borrowed 

this poem from his friend and contempor- 
ary Melin de Saint-Gelais, as he un- 
doubtedly did the Riddle in the 58th 
chapter of this Book. This is rendered 
more likely by the existence, under the 
title of " Enigme," of a poem in the same 
metre as this and very similar in character, 
published among the works of Saint- 

1 Fr. embousie. Shakespeare 
" embossed with foam." 


chap, ii GARGANTUA 17 

When he was at the point to read the Chapter, 
Nothing was found save only a Calf's Horns. 
Said he : "I feel the bottom of my Mitre 
So cold that all about my Brain is chilled." 
They warmed him with the Perfume of a Turnip, 
And he was glad to keep at the Chimney Corner, 8 
Provided a new Man was put in Harness 
Of all the folk that so cross-grained are. 

Their subject was the Hole of St Patrick, 4 
Gibraltar's strait, 5 a thousand other Holes : 
If any Skill could heal them to a Scar, 
By means such that they should not have a Cough ; 
Because to all unseemly it appeared 
To see them gaping thus at every Wind. 
Perhaps if they were tightly closed and stopped, 
They might as Hostages be given up. 


By this Decision was the Raven scotched 

By Hercules, who came from Libya. 

" How now ? n said Minos ; " why am I not summoned ? 

Excepting me, see ! all the World is called. 

And since they wish that my Desire should pass, 

To furnish them with Oysters and with Frogs, 

In case that they show Mercy to my Life 

I give their sale of Distaffs to the Devil." 

Them to defeat came up Q. B. who limps 
Under Safe-conduct of the mystic Starlings. 
The Sifter, Cousin of the great Cyclops, 
Put them to massacre. Each one blows his Nose : 
In this waste Field few Heretics were born 
But on the Tanner's Mil! were winnowed. 

* Chimney Corner. Fr. aires, Lat. ordered the destruction of the Purgatory 

atrium. of St. Patrick on St Patrick's Day. In 

4 The hole of St. Patrick in Loch 1632 and in the reign of Queen Anne the 

Dearg, in County Donegal, was a great prohibition of the pilgrimages was 

place for pilgrimages from the 12th renewed; but they continued notwith- 

century. It was looked upon as one of standing. 

the entrances into the lower world and * The Straits of Gibraltar were also 

into purgatory, and a visit to it in one's looked upon as a sort of Sibyl's Cave, 

lifetime gave lull absolution from all sins. It was near Seville, and is called Testroict 

Cf. v. 36. In 1497, Pope Alexander VI. de Sibyl* in i. 33 (Duchat). 



Run thither all, and sound the loud Alarm ; 
More shall you find than last year were produced. 

Soon afterwards the Bird of Jupiter 
Determined with the weaker Cause to side ; 
But seeing them so mightily enraged 
Feared they would hurl the Empire ruined down, 
And rather chose from Empyrean Heaven 
To steal the Fire to where the Herrings are sold, 
, Than subject to the Massoritic Gloss 
The Air serene, against which men conspire. 

All was concluded then " at point of Fox," 
In spite of Ate 6 and her Hern-like Legs, 7 
• a. U. 30. who sitting there a Penthesilea saw 

In her old Age made a cress-selling Quean ; 

Each one cried out : Thou ugly Collier-wench, 

Is it for thee to be thus in the Way ? 

'Twas thou didst take the Roman Banner off, 

Which had been well drawn up on Parchment Bonds. 

And Juno too, beneath the heavenly Bow 

Who with her Duke was laying Snares for Birds — 

A very grievous Trick on her was played, 

That at all Points she should be discomposed. 

The Bargain was, that from this mighty Slice 

Two Eggs from Proserpine should be her Share, 

And if she ever there should nabbed be 

She should be made fast to the Whitethorn Mount. 

Seven Months thereafter, barring twenty-two, 
He that did Carthage once annihilate 8 
Did courteously come into their midst, 
Requiring of them to take his Heritage, 
Or rather that they justly should go Shares, 
According to the Law of " Take from each," ° 

6 Atl, etc. The allusion is to Homer, Tant affoibly m'a d'estrange mantere 

//. iz. 505 : Et * ma faict ** **"** herotmiirt. 

i? "A<n,ri»mp4i ****}*&*«' &I****"* 8 Scipio Africanus -the younger, 

r«Mi» vnmirptBiu, qBmtiu ft rt r«r«r ir* mja» |^g jj # q 

0x£*rwr' *f6f>t*wt. 9 -pi. tirer au rivet, explained by 

Cf. also //. xix. 92 : AroXoi *6fa . Cotgrave, "to sew like a shoemaker; 

f ClJMarot, in his Epttre au Rot pour also to pluck as much from one as from 

avoir iti dirobi, has the following lines : another." 

chap, ii GARGANTUA 19 

Distributing a Snack of Brewis to each 

Of the Understrappers, who drew up the Brief. 

The Year will come, marked with a Turkish Bow, 

With Spindles five and with three Saucepan-bottoms, 

In which the Back of a discourteous King 

Shall peppered be under a Hermit's Frock. 

The Pity of it ! For a wily Woman 

So many Acres will you see engulfed ? 

Cease, cease ! This Vizard there is none to copy. 

Withdraw yourselves unto the Serpent's Brother. 10 

This Year gone past, the He that is shall reign 
In Peace and Quiet with his trusty Friends ; 
Nor brutal Deed nor Word shall then prevail, 
And each good Wish shall its Fulfilment find. 
And the Observance that of old was promised 
To the Heavenly Host shall from their Belfry peaL 
And then the breeding Studs, that were sore troubled, 
Shall ride in State on royal Palfrey borne. 

This Hocus-pocus Season shall endure 
So long until that Mars is put in Chains. 
And then shall come a Time surpassing all, 
Delightful, pleasing, beyond Measure fair. 
Lift up your Hearts, go forth to this Repast, 
My true Friends all : for he is dead and gone 
Who for the World would not return again ; 
So much shall former Times be called for then. 

And lastly, he that was of Wax compact 

Shall near the Hinge of a Jack o' the Clock " be lodged. 

No more shall he be styled : " My Lord, My Lord," 

The Jangler, 12 he that holds the Sacring-belL 

Alas ! if one his Cutlass could but seize ! 

Soon should be cleared all carking Cares away, 

And then we could by dint of Packthread Stitch 

Sew up and close the Storehouse of Deceit 

10 ue. the Devil. The Serpent's Cambray, a figure in some metal or other 
Brother put for the Serpent himself. that struck the hours on a clock-beli 

11 Fr. Jacqutmart. Cf. Richard II. There are such figures still in Venice over 
v. 5, 60. a clock near St Mark's, over the entrance 

u TkcJcmgUr. Most likely Martin de to the Merceria. Cf. iv. New ProL 


How Gargantua was carried eleven Months in his 

Mother's Belly 

Grandgousier was a merry Jester in his time, loving to drink neat as 
much as any man then alive in the World ; and he did willingly eat salt 

To this end he commonly had good store of Hams of Mayence and 
Baybnne, 1 a quantity of smoked Neats* Tongues, plenty of Chitterlings 
in season and powdered Beef with Mustard, a Supply of Botargos, 2 
provision of Sausages, but not of Bologna — for he feared gli boccont 
Lombardi* — but of Bigorre, Longaunay, Brene 4 and Rouargue. 

When he came to Man's Estate he married Gargamelle, Daughter of 
the King of the Butterflies, 5 a fine Lass and of a good Phiz. And these 
two did often play the two-backed Beast together, joyously rubbing 
together their Bacon, insomuch that she became with Child of a fine 
Boy and went with him right unto the eleventh Month. 

So long, even longer, can Women go with Child, especially when it 
is some Masterpiece and Personage who is destined in his time to 
perform great Exploits, as Homer says that the Child which Neptune 
begat upon the Nymph was born after the Revolution of a Year 6 — that 

1 Mayence, probably referring to the 
Westphalia hams ; those of Bayonne 
were esteemed in Paris. 

1 Botargos, a sort of caviar made of 
the roe of the mullet, with oil, vinegar, and 

* boccont Lombardi, tid-bits of Lorn- 
bardy. During the war in the Milanese 
the French learned to mistrust the Italian 
food of poison. 

4 Brene is in Touraine, Bigorre in 

8 The kingdom of the Butterflies in the 
old Romances stands for any unknown 
kingdom. Cf. Morg. Magg. x. 59 : 

Che di' tu re di/arfalU o di pecchie T 

• Pelias and Neleus were born to 
Poseidon of the Nymph Tyro. Cf. Od, 
xi. 235-259; Aul. Gell. iii. 16, §§15, 16. 

chap, hi GARGANTUA 21 

was the twelfth Month; for (as saith Aulus Gellius, lib. iii) this long 
time was fitting for the Majesty of Neptune, to the end that in it the 
Child should be formed to Perfection. For the like reason Jupiter made 
the Night last forty-eight Hours in which he lay with Alcmena; for 
he could not in less time have forged Hercules, who purged the World 
of Monsters and Tyrants. ^ 

My Masters, the ancient Pantagruelists, have confirmed that which I 
say, and have declared not only possible, but legitimate, the Birth of a 
Child brought forth by a Woman the eleventh Month after the Death 
of her Husband : 

Hippocrates, 7 lib. De alimento [Kiihn, vol. ii. p. 23] ; 

Pliny, lib. vii. cap. v.; 

Plautus in the Cistellaria [160] ; 

Marcus Varro in the Satire inscribed the Testament, citing the 
authority of Aristotle on the subject ; 

Censorinus, lib. De die natali [cap. vii. § 7] ; 

a Aristotle, lib. vii. cap. j, 4, De nat. animalium \ » Amt. huu 

Gellius, lib. iii. cap. 16 \ «.vu. 4> 4. 

Servius in Eclog. expounding that line of Virgil, Matri longa decern, 
etc. \Ecl. v. 61]; 
and a thousand other Fools, the number of whom has been increased 
by the Legists ff? De suis et legit. I. Intestato % fin. and in Autent. 9 
De restit. et ea quae parit in xi tnense. 

Moreover they have scrawled their Robidilardick 10 law Gallus ft. 
De lib. et post, et I. septitnoff. De stat. hotnin. and some others, which for 
the present I dare not mention, by means of which Laws the Widows 
may freely play the close-crupper Game with all their Might and all 
their Leisure-time, two Months after the Death of their Husbands. 

I pray you of your Goodness, my good Lusty Blades, 11 if of such you 
find any that are worth the untrussing of the Cod-piece, get on and bring 
them to me ; for, if in the third Month they conceive, the Child shall 
be Heir to the deceased; and the Conception once known, thrust 
boldly forward and " Launch out lustily," since the Hold is full. 

7 Hippocrates, etc These citations, earlier Greek Emperors as excerpted by 

with the exception of Censorinus, Justinian. 

Aristotle, and Servius, are simply taken If Robidilardick, probably coined from 

from the chapter in Gellius which he rober (=dero6er) and lard, with an 

quotes (iii. 16). allusion to the great cat Robilardus 

• The Pandects of Justinian were (bacon-eater), mentioned iv. 67, and to 

indicated by the ancient Jurists by the the lawyers, who are called Chats fourris 

letters^ (furred Law-cats) in v. 11- 15. 

9 Authtntica. The ordinances of u Fr. Averlans ; I 25, iv. 9. 


Just so Julia, Daughter of the Emperor Octavian, never abandoned 

herself to her Drummers save when she found herself with Child, after 

b Macrob. u. v. the manner of the b Ship which doth not take on board her Pilot until 


she first be caulked and laded. 

And if any blame them for being thus still burrowed after Pregnancy, 
seeing that the Beasts never endure the covering Male after Conception, 
they will answer that those be Beasts, whereas they are Women, who do 
well understand the fine and glorious Perquisites of Superfetation, as 
Populia formerly answered, according to the relation of Macrobius 
lib. ii. Saturnal. [cap. v. § 10]. 

If the Devil will not have them conceive, he must twist off the 
, Spigot and stop the Vent. 


How GargamelUy being big with Gargantua, did eat a huge deal 

of Tripes 

The Occasion and Manner how Gargamelle was delivered was thus ; 
and if you do not believe it, may your Fundament fall out ! 

Her Fundament did fall out one Afternoon, the 3d Day of February, 
through having eaten too much Godebillios. Godebillios are the fat 
Tripes of Coiros : Coiros are Beeves fattened at the Stall and Guimo 
Meadows : Guimo Meadows are those which are mowed twice in the 
Year. Of those fat Beasts they had killed three hundred and sixty-seven 
thousand and fourteen, to be salted at Shrove-Tuesday, that at Spring- 
tide they might have Abundance of Beef in season, so that at the 
Beginning of their Meals they might have Commemoration 1 of Salt 
meats, and better relish their Wine. 

The Tripes were abundant, as you have heard, and so dainty that 
every one licked his Fingers. But the great four-manned Devilry s was 
in it that they could not be kept longer, for they were tainted, which 
seemed improper ; whence it was determined that they should gulch 
them up without losing aught therein. To this effect they brought 
together all the Citizens of Sainais, 8 Suill£, Roche Clermaud, Vaugaud- 
ray, not to omit Coudray, Montpensier, Gu£ de Vede and other 
Neighbours, all stiff Drinkers, good Companions, and rare Skittle- 
players, ha. 4 

1 At mass the saint who is not the 
saint of the day is celebrated only by 
a short prayer, 4 ^ called commctnoratio 

* Devilry alludes to the mystery-plays, 
at which the Devils seem always to have 
been represented. It was a grande 
diablerie when four or more Devils were 

represented, a petite diablerie when there 
were fewer. 

* Sainais, etc These are all places 
near Chinon, Rabelais' birth-place, and 
most of them recur again. 

4 joueurs de quille Id. Probably the re- 
frain of some song. It occurs in Clement 
Marot, Epist. 29. 


The good man Grandgousier took mighty great Pleasure therein, and 
ordered that all should be without Stint; 5 nevertheless he told his Wife 
to eat the more sparingly, seeing she was near her Time, and that this 
Tripe was no very commendable Meat. "Those," said he, "would fain 
chew Dung, who would eat the Bag thereof." 

Notwithstanding these Remonstrances she ate sixteen Quarters two 
Bushels and six Pecks. A rare lot of Loblolly to swell in her ! 

After Dinner they all went pell-mell to the Willow-grove, and there 
on the thick Grass danced to the Sound of the jolly Flageolets and the 
sweet Bag-pipes, so blithely that it was a heavenly Sport to see them so 
frolic together. 

• par escuelles, lit by buckctsfuL 


The Chit-chat of the Drinkers 

Then they fell to chat l after the Collation in the same Spot : and forth- 
with began Flagons to go, Gammons to trot, Goblets to fly, Glasses a to 

Draw, reach, fill, mix — Give it to me — without Water; so, my 
Friend. — Whip me off this Glass gallantly. Bring me here some Claret 
in a Glass weeping over. — A Truce to Thirst. — Ha! false Fever, 
wilt thou not away ? — By my Faith, Gossip, I cannot get in the drink- 
ing Humour. 8 — You have catched a Cold, Gammer? — Yea forsooth, 
Sir.— By the Belly of St Quenet 4 let's talk of drinking. — I only drink 
at my Hours, like the Pope's Mule. 5 — I only drink in my Breviary, 6 like 
a good Father Guardian. — Which was first, 7 Thirst or Drinking? — 
Thirst, for who would have drunk without Thirst in the time of 
Innocence? — Drinking, for prwatio praesupponit habitutn. I am 
learned, you see : 

* " Fecundi calices quern non fecere disertum ? " 
We poor Innocents 8 drink only too much without Thirst — Not I, truly, 

» Hot. E&. L 
5» *9> 

1 Fr. reciner; iv. 46, q.v. Perhaps 
from recenare. Du Cange, deriving it 
from recticinium % writes: "Videtur did 
colloquium, quod post coenam inter 
oonvivas peragitur." 

* Glasses. Fr. breusses. 

* Fr. en bette for buvctte. Boiie still 
survives in some patois. 

4 ventre St. Quenet is an expression 
used in Brittany, where this saint was 
honoured. Cf. ii. 26, iii. 8. 

* the Pope's Mule. At this time the 
Pope and Cardinals used to ride on mules. 
Cf. ii 7, ▼. 8. 

6 in my Breviary. The mendicant 
orders invented for drinking on the sly 
cups shaped like breviaries. Hence the 
expression Vin thiologal. In the Prologue 
to the Fourth Book Rabelais mentions a 
silver cup of this kind, which had been pre- 
sented to him by some courtiers. Cf. v. 46. 

7 Which was firsts etc This is an 
adaptation of the query, " Ovumne prius 
extiterit angallina?" (Macrob. Sat. vii. 
16, S I ; Plut. Quaest. Conv. ii. 3). 

8 Innocents. Duchat here finds an 
allusion to the torture of compulsory 
swallowing of water. 


as I am a Sinner, without Thirst, if not present, at least Thirst to come, 
preventing it, you understand I drink for the Thirst to come. I drink 
for ever and ever. My Eternity is in drinking, and my Drinking in 
Eternity. — Let us have a Song, let us have a Toast; a Catch; 9 let 
us sing around. Where is my Tuning-fork ? 10 — What ! I only drink by 
Procuration. 11 

Do you wet yourselves to dry, or do you dry to wet you ? 

I do not understand your Theorick; by Practice I help myself 
some little. — Basta! I wet, I humect, I drink, and all for Fear of 
dying. Drink always and you will never die. — If I drink not I am 
high and dry, and as good as a dead Man. My Soul will fly to some 
Frog-marsh. The Soul will never dwell in a dry Place. 12 

O ye Butlers, Creators of new Forms, make me of No-drinker a 
Drinker ; a Perennity of Sprinkling going through these parched and 
sinewy Bowels. He drinks in vain who feeleth it not. This entereth 
into the Veins ; the p — g-tool shall have none on't. — I would willingly 
wash the Tripes of this Calf 18 which I — dressed this Morning. — I have 
well ballasted my Stomach. — If the Paper of my Bonds and Bills drank 
as well as I do, my Creditors would have enough to do M when they 
came to produce their Titles. — That Hand spoils your Nose. 16 — O how 
many others will enter there before this comes out ! What ! drink at so 
shallow a Ford ? It is enough to break your Girths. — This is called the 
Counterfeit in Flagons. — What is the Difference between a Bottle and 
a Flagon ? — A great difference : for a Bottle is stopped with a Cork, and 
a Flagon with a Cock. — Excellent! 

" Our Fathers drank deep and emptied their Cans." 

Well cackled, well cacked ! Let us drink. — Will you send nothing to 

the River ? That Fellow there is going to wash his Tripes. — I drink no 

b PsaL xix. 5. more than a Sponge. — I drink like a Templar. 16 — And I h tamquam 

• PsaL cxim. 6. sponsus. 11 — And I c sicut terra sine aqua. — Give me a Synonym (defini- 

8 motet, either a catch or a chant. Juv. vi. 429 : " loto . terrain ferit 

10 entonner, either to raise a psalm or intestine " 
to tun wine. 14 enough to do, i.e. enough to do to 

II by procuration. Explained by Duchat make out their titles, which would be 
as dipping bread in wine. obliterated by the amount of liquid 

38 St. August. Decret ix. 32, 2 : absorbed by the paper. 

" Anima certe quia spiritus est in sicco u spoils your Nose. Addressed to a 

habitare non potest." Imitated in the Nef clumsy drinker who cannot find his mouth. 

des Fob (1497) : 1S like a Templar. Cf. ii. 16. The 

T , . ^ Knights Templars had gained this repu- 

Lame jamais ne se contient, . ° r ° r 

Ainsi que lisons, en sec lieu. tation. 

17 sponsus seems to be a pun on tponge 
13 this Calf, i.e. himself, 61k &pyp. Cf. (sponge). 

chap, v GARGANTUA 27 

tion) for a Ham. — It is a Compeller of Draughts ; it is a Pully. By the 
Pully-rope Wine is let down into the Cellar, by the Ham into the 
Stomach. — Ha, there ! some Drink ! drink, ha ! — That is not a Bumper. 
— Respice personam ; 18 pone pro duos ; bus non est in usu. 

If I could only get up as well as I can tipple-topple 19 down, I had 
long ago been high in Air. 

Thus James Harte * grew rich amain ; 
Thus the Brushwood grows again ; 
Thus did Bacchus conquer India ; 
Thus Philosophy Melinda. 21 

A little Rain allays a deal of Wind; 22 long Draughts break the 
Thunder. — But if my Cod voided such Liquor, would you like to suck 
it ? — I retain it afterwards. — Here, Page, give me to drink ; I will register 
my Nomination * for you when my Turn comes. 

... Sup it, Will, 
There's yet somewhat left to swill. 

I stand forth as Appellant against Thirst, as against Abuses. — Page, 
sue out my Appeal in Form. — See this Heel-tap ? — I used formerly to 
drink all ; now I leave nothing. — Let us not hurry and let us carry all 
with us. — Here are Tripes fit for our Sport, excellent Godebillios of the 
dun Ox with the black Streak. Let us curry him a 1 God's name, for the 
good of the House. — Drink or 111 . . , u No, no, drink, I pray you. — 

18 Respice personam, i.e. " See for Cf. Villon, Grand Testament ', xxxvi. : 

whom you are pouring. Pour enough for " Se tu n'as tant qu'eust Jacques Cueur." 
two " (duos instead of duobus). Bus (the 

last syllable of duobus and past participle of n Melinda, a town in Africa north of 

boire) is not in use here. Probably imitated Zanzibar, gained over by the Portuguese 

from Epist. Obs. Vir. letter i. : "nostro as much by strong drink as by persuasion. 

-tras -trare non est in usu." It is mentioned by Milton, Par. Lost, xi. 

19 avaller = to go down and to 399. It was discovered by Vasco da 
swallow. Gama in 1498, and is rich in carbuncles 

* Jacques Caur, treasurer to Charles and rubies. Cf. i. 8, iii. 28. 

VII. He was born at Bourges and be- M A little rain, etc. This is the title 

came afterwards Master of the Mint He of iv. 44. 

worked mines in the Lyonnais, paying a * insinue ma nomination (ii. 12, iv. 

royalty to the King, but his immense 10). Duchat quotes in illustration Arrits 

fortune was probably due to his trade as d 1 Amours, 52: "Joinctquedel'heurequ'un 

a merchant in the Levant. He repre- homme est mari£ il ne lui est plus loisible 

sented France as an ambassador with de faire l'amoureux ne insinuer ses 

splendour. He was afterwards dis- nominations sax une autre que safemme." 

graced, his goods confiscated, and he fled Insinuation was an entry on the public 

to Rome. He was appointed by Pope registers. 

Calixtns III. to lead a force against M Drink or Til ... An instance of 

the infidels, but died at Chios in 1456. aposiopesis like Virgil's Quos ego . . . 




Sparrows never eat unless you bob them on the Tail ;** I drink not un- 
less you speak me fair. 

Lagona et altera}* There is not a Rabbit-burrow in all my Body 
where this Wine doth not ferret out my Thirst. This whips me it 
soundly ; this shall banish it utterly. — Let us make a Proclamation to 
the Sound of Flagons and Bottles that whosoever has lost his Thirst 
has nothing to look for here. Long Clysters of Drinking have made 
him void it out of Doors. — The great God made the Planets and we 
make the Plates neat — I have the Word of the Gospel in my Mouth : 
Sitio. — The Stone called asbestos is not more unquenchable than the 
Thirst of my Paternity. — The Appetite comes with eating, says Angest^ 
of Mans ; Thirst goes away with drinking. — A Remedy against Thirst ? 
It is the opposite of that which is good against the Bite of a Dog. 
Always run after the Dog and he will never bite you ; always drink 
before the Thirst and it will never come to you. — There I catch you 
napping ; I awake you. Eternal Butler, guard us from Sleep. 88 Argus 
had a hundred Eyes to see with ; a Butler needs a hundred Hands, as 
Briareus had, to pour out indefatigably. — Let us wet, Lads, ha ! it is no 
use being dry. — White Wine here ! Pour out all, pour a* the Devil's 
Name ! Pour it all ; quite full ; my Tongue is peeling. Lans trink ; * 
to thee, Comrade, lustily, lustily ! La, la, la, that was a good Drink, 
that ! O lacryma Christi! Tis from la JDevin&re;* 'tis from the pine- 
apple Grape. — O the fine white Wine ; and by my Soul 'tis Wine of 
Taffetas. — Ha! ha! 'tis of one Ear, "well wrought and of good WooL" 81 
Courage, Comrade ! We shall not be bested this Game, for I have made 
a Trick. — Ex hoc in hoc. 9 * There is no Deception ; every one of you 
saw it. I am a Past Master in this : 

Ahem ! ahem ! I am a Mast Pastor. 88 
O the Drinkers that are a-dry ! — Page, my Friend, fill in here and crown 

85 Sparrows, etc ; ii. 14, v. 43. 

* Lagona edatera. This is said to be 
Basque. Lagona et altera in Latin 
appears to suit the context far better. 
"One flagon and then another. . . . This 
whips me the thirst soundly, and this 
shall banish it utterly." 

27 Probably Jerome de Hangest, a 
doctor of the Sor bonne and a bitter enemy 
of the Reformers ; he died at le Mans in 


88 Sommelier and somme (Lat somnus), 

a pun which can hardly be rendered in 


20 = trink Landsmann. 

30 la Deviniere, Rabelais' own vine- 
yard near Seuilll. 

n well wrought, etc These are ex- 
pressions borrowed from the draper in the 
farce of Patelin. " Of one ear" refers to 
the jar, which, as holding the best wine, 
would be smaller and have only one handle 
or ear. Cf. v. 43, 44. 

a = From this into that, i.e. from the 
glass into the stomach. 

88 Mast Pastor = Prebstre Mart, with an 
allusion to Rene* Mad, a Benedictine. 
Cf. i. 27. 


chap, v GARGANTUA 29 

the Cup, I prithee. — In Cardinal M fashion. Natura abhorrct vacuum. 
Would you say now that a Fly had drunk therein ? — In the Brittany 
fashion. 36 Clean off, neat, for this Brimmer. — Swallow it down, it is 
wholesome Medicine. 

** a la CardinaU % *.*. all red, quite n In Brittany it was the fashion to 

fall to the brim of red wine. drink to the last drop. 


How Gargantua was born in a mighty strange Fashion 

Whilst they were on this pleasant Tattle of Drinking, Gargamelle 
'began to be unwell in her lower Parts ; whereupon Grandgousier got 
up from the Grass and fell to comforting her kindly, believing that she 
was in Travail, and telling her that she had steamed l herself on the 
Grass under the Willows and that very shortly she would see Young 
feet ; therefore it was fitting that she should take fresh Courage at the 
new Coming of her Baby, and that although the Pain was somewhat 


grievous to her, yet it would be short, and the Joy which would soon 
succeed would take from her all that Pain, so that even the Remem- 
brance of it would not remain. "I will prove it to you,"* he said; 
"our Saviour says in the Gospel, John xvi. [21]: 'A Woman when 
she is in Travail hath Sorrow ; but when she is delivered of the Child 
she remembereth no more her Anguish/" "Ah," quoth she, "you say 
well, and I like much better to hear such Sentences of the Gospel, and I 
find myself much better for it than from hearing the Life of St. Margaret 2 
or other such Cant." 

" On with a Sheep's Courage," said he, " despatch this Boy and we 
will soon fall to making another." 

" Ah !" said she, "you speak at your ease, you Men ! Well, a' God's 
Name I will do my best since you will have it so ; but would to God 
you had cut it off." 

" What ? " said Grandgousier. 

* " I will prove it to you . . . Cant."— ABC Om. D. 

1 herder. Rabelais intends a double on the girdle of St. Margaret to help 
meaning here — (1) to extend on the grass, them. "S. Margareta devote oravit : 
(2) a farrier's term signifying to steam a addens ut quaecunque in partu peri- 
horse with hellebore. clitans se invocaret illaesam prolem 

9 This used to be read to women in emitteret." Legenda aurea, "De S. 

childbirth; cf. it ProL They also put Margareta." 





" Ah ! " said she, " you are a good Man indeed ! You know well 

" What ! my Member ? * said he. " By the Blood of all the Goats, 
have a Knife brought hither at once if you think fit." 

" Ah," said she, " the Lord forbid ! God forgive me, I did not say 
it from my Heart ; don't do anything more or less to it for anything I 
said ; but I shall have Trouble enough to-day unless God help me, and 
all through your Member, that you might be well pleased." 

"Courage, Courage," said he. "Do you have no Care in the 
Matter, and let the four leading Oxen do their Work. I will go and 
take another Draught ; if meantime anything should befall you, I will 
keep near ; whistle in your Palm and I will be with you at once." 

A little time after she began to sigh, lament and cry out. Suddenly 
there came in swarms Midwives from all sides, who groping her below 
found some Peloderies of a bad Savour enough, and thought it was the 
Child, but it was her Fundament which was slipping out through the 
mollification of the intcstinum rectum, which you call the bum-gut, 
through her having eaten too much Tripe, as we have declared above. 

Whereupon a filthy old Hag of the Company, who had the repu- 
tation to be a great Physician and had come thither from Brisepaille 
near Saint Genou 3 threescore Years before, made her so horrible an 
Astringent that all her Membranes were so stopped and constricted 
that you could very hardly have enlarged them with your Teeth (which 
is a thing very horrible to think of), in the same way as the Devil at 
a Mass of St Martin, copying down the Tittle-tattle of two Wenches, 
lengthened out his Parchment by tugging with his Teeth 4 

By this mishap the Cotyledons 6 of the Matrix were all loosened 
above, and by these the Child leaped up and entered into the vena cava, 
and clambering by the Diaphragm right above her Shoulders, where the 
said Vein parts in two, took his Way to the left and issued forth by her 
left Ear. 6 

* Brisepaille near Si. Genou. Accord- 
ing to Duchat, a woman from this place 
was esteemed in Languedoc as none of the 
best character. Villon has, however : 

FUles sont tre» belles et gentes 
Demourantes a Sainct Genou. 

G. Test. 94. 

4 Alluding to the story told by Pierre 
Grosnet in the Sentences dories de Colon 
(1533). The story goes on to say that the 
Saint, who had seen all this, burst out 
laughing as he turned round to say the 

Deus vobiscunu The story is mentioned 
in passing in the Conies d*Eutrapel (chap. 
5, " De la Goutte "). 

8 By cotyledons is meant the orifice 
of the menstrual veins and arteries. Cf. 
A. Pari, i. c. 34. 

6 left Ear. This is no doubt a profane 

allusion to a notion represented in pictures 

of that time, and in hymns, such as that of 

St Ephrem : 

Gaude, Virgo, mater Christi, 
Quae per aurem concepisti. 




• Pindar, 

° Sernus 
Virg. Acn. 

Met. x. 


• •• 


As soon as he was born, he did not cry, as other Children do, Mies, 
tnies, tnies, but with a sturdy Voice bawled out Drink, drink, drink, as 
though inviting all the World to drink, so loud that he was heard by all 
the Country of Beusse and Bibaroys. 7 

I doubt me, you do not* with full Assurance believe in this strange 
Nativity. If you do not believe it, I care not ; but an honest Man, a Man 
of good Sense, believes always what is told him and what he finds written. 

Doth not Solomon say, Praverbiorum xiv. [ij]: "Innocens credit 
omni verbo," etc; and St Paul, prim. Corinthior. xiii. [7]: "Charitas 
omnia credit " ? Why should you not believe it ? Because, say you, 
there is no Seeming in it. 8 I tell you for this Reason only you ought to 
believe it in perfect Faith. For the Sorbonnists say that Faith is the 
Evidence for Things not seen. 9 1 

Is it against our Law, our Faith, against Reason, against the Holy 
Scripture? For my part, I find nothing written in the Holy Bible, 
which is against it But if the Will of God had been so, would you say 
that He could not have done it ? 

Ah 1 I beseech you, never cudgel and addle 10 your Wits with these 
idle Thoughts ; for I say to you that to God nothing is impossible, and 
if He pleased, all Women hereafter would thus bring forth Children at 
their Ear. 

Was not Bacchus engendered from the Thigh of Jupiter? 

Was not Rocquetaillade u born from his Mother's Heel ? 

Crocquemouche from the Slipper u of his Nurse ? 

Was not a Minerva born of the Brain through the Ear of Jupiter ? 

Adonis of the Bark of a b Myrrh-tree ? 

c Castor and Pollux from the Shell of an Egg laid and hatched by 

But you would be far more staggered and astonished if I should 
presently set forth to you the whole Chapter of Pliny, wherein he 
treateth of strange and unnatural Births. And in any case, I am not so 
hardy a Liar as he hath been. Read the Seventh Book of his Natural 
History, cap. Hi, and do not further trouble my Head about it 

t " Doth not Solomon . . . things not seen. " — ABC and Dolet. Om. D. 

7 Beusse is a town and river of the 
department of Loudun, near Chinon. 
Bibarois is simply Vivarais pronounced in 
Gascon fashion. They are mentioned 
solely with the notion of drinking (M.) 

8 seeming, Fr. apparence. 

• Heb. xi. 1 runs thus in the Vulgate : 
"Est autem fides sperandarum sub- 

stantia rerum, argumentum non appa- 

10 emburelucocquer (ii. 13, iii. 22). 

11 Rocquetaillade. This allusion is 

u Slipper. According to Bruscambille, 
Pantoufie (Slipper) was the father of the 
four sons of Aymon in the well-known novel. 


How Gargantua had his Name given hitn, and how 

he took his Liquor down 

The good Man Grandgousier, as he was drinking and making merry 
with the rest, heard the horrible Cry which his Son had made as he 
entered into the Light of this World, when he roared out calling for 
"Drink, drink, drink"; whereupon he said: "Que Grand Tu As," 
supple the Gullet 

Hearing this, the Company said that verily the Child ought to have 
the Name Gargantua from this, seeing that such had been the first 
Word uttered by his Father at his Birth, in Imitation and after the 
a Example of the ancient Hebrews. Which the Father graciously per- » cf Luc. l 6*5. 
mitted, and his Mother was well pleased thereat; and to quiet the 
Child they gave him to drink till his Throat was nigh unto bursting, 1 
and he was carried to the Font and there baptized, as is the Custom of 
good Christians. 

And there were ordered for him seventeen thousand nine hundred 
and thirteen Cows from Pautille* and Brehemond 2 to furnish him with 
Milk in ordinary ; for to find a Nurse sufficient for him was not possible 
in the whole Country, considering the great Quantity of Milk required 
to nourish him ; albeit certain Scotist Doctors have affirmed that his 
Mother suckled him, and that she could draw from her Breasts fourteen 
hundred and two Pipes and nine Pails of Milk each time ; which is not 
probable. And the Proposition has been declared by the Sorbonne * 
scandalous, and to pious 8 Ears offensive, and savouring of Heresy afar off. 

* " by the Sorbonne," ABC ; " mammalemcnt," D. 

1 bcire & tire larigot (= larynx). * v. ProL, n. 13, pitoyablerrunt = 

* Villages in Chinonais celebrated for puusenunt. So also pitU =-ptiU. La<. 

their pastures. (Fromage de Brehe- pietas. i. 29, n. 5. 

mont, iii. 25.) 



In this state he lived for a Year and ten Months, at which time, by 
Advice of the Physicians, they began to carry him abroad, and there 
was made for him a fine little Cart with Oxen, of the Invention of John 
Denyau. 4 In this he was taken about hither and thither right joyously, 
and it did one good to see him ; for he had a fine Countenance and 
nearly eighteen Chins, and cried but very little ; but he bewrayed himself 
every Hour, for he was marvellously phlegmatic in his Haunches, as 
much from his natural Complexion as from the accidental Disposition 
which had come to him from too much Quaffing of the Septembral 
Juice. And he never quaffed a Drop of it without a Reason. 6 For if 
it happened that he was vexed, angry, displeased or troubled, if he 
stamped with Rage, if he wept, if he cried, by bringing him Drink they 
restored him to good Temper and he at once remained quiet and happy. 

One of his Governesses has told me, swearing by her Fecks, 6 that he 
was so accustomed to this that at the mere Sound of Pint-pots and 
Flagons he would fall into an Ecstasy, as though he were tasting the 
Joys of Paradise. So that they, considering this divine Complexion of 
his, in order to cheer him up would of a Morning make the Glasses 
chink before him with a Knife, or the Flagons with their Stopple, or 
the Pint-pots with their Lid ; at which Sound he would become merry, 
leap for Joy, and rock himself in the Cradle, noddling his Head, mono- 
chordising with his Fingers, and barytonising with his Tail. 

4 Denyau, a court physician who pre- * Sunt, si quid video, causae tibiquinquebibendi; 
Scribed carriage exercise for well-to-do Hospitis adventus, praesens sitis atque futura, 
patients. Et *"" bonitas » et— quaelibet altera causa. 

• fecks- faith (so used in Shakespeare). Fr. fy=foi. 


How they apparelled Gargantua 

When he was of this Age his Father ordered that Clothes should be 
made for him of his own Livery, which was White and Blue. So 
then they went to work and there were Clothes made, cut and sewn 
for him in the Fashion that was then in Vogue. 

I find by the ancient Records, which are in the Chamber of Accounts 
at Montsoreau, 1 that he was apparelled in manner as followeth : — 

For his Shirt were taken up nine hundred Ells of Chateleraud s Linen, 
and two hundred for the Gussets, in the shape of Squares, which they 
put under his Arm-pits and gathered ; for the gathering of Shirts had 
not been invented until after that the Seamstresses, when the Point of 
their Needles was broken, began to work with their Tail-end. 

For his Doublet were taken up eight hundred and thirteen Ells of white 
Satin, and for his Points fifteen hundred and nine Dog-skins and a half. 
Then it was that Men began to fasten the Hose to the Doublet, and not 
the Doublet to the Hose, for it is a Thing against Nature, as Ockham 8 
hath amply declared on the Exponibles of Messer Hautechaussade. 

For his Hose were taken up eleven hundred and five and a third 
Ells of white woven Stuff; and they were pinked in form of Pillars, 
indented and notched behind, so as not to overheat his Reins. And 
from within the Pinking was puffed out with as much blue Damask as 
was needfuL And note, that he had very fine Greaves and well pro- 
portioned to the Rest of his Stature. 

1 Montsoreau, a little village near the English Franciscan, was a great advocate 

junction of the Loire and Vienne, not far of Nominalism in the 14th century. He 

from Chinon. Cf. iv. 19, 24. was a pupil of Duns Scotus. The refine- 

9 Chattlraud, a town on the Vienne ments about the doublet and the hose 

near Chinon, vesy productive of flax and are intended as a gibe against the 

consequently linen. Nominalist doctrine of Universals and 

* William of Occam (1280-1347), an Particulars. 




For his Cod-piece were used sixteen Ells and a quarter of the same 
Cloth, and the form of it was as that of a bowed Arch most gallantly 
fastened with two fine gold Buckles which were held by two Clasps 
of Enamel, in each of which was set a huge Emerald of the size of an 
Orange. For as Orpheus 4 says libro de Lapidibus, and Pliny libro ultimo* 
it hath an erective Virtue and a strengthening of the natural Member. 

The outlet of the Cod-piece was of the length of a Rod, 6 pinked like 
the Hose, with the blue Damask puffing it out as before. 

But on looking at the fine Embroidery of the needlework Purl and 
the curious Inter-tissue of Gold-work set off with rich Diamonds, precious 
Rubies, fine Turquoises, costly Emeralds and Persian Pearls, 7 you 
would have compared it to a fair Horn of Abundance, such as you see 
on ancient Monuments, and such as Rhea gave to the two Nymphs 
* Apoiiodor. l a Adrastea and Ida, Nurses of Jupiter. Ever was it gallant, succulent, 
moist, ever verdant, ever flourishing, ever fructifying, full of Juices, full of 
Flowers, full of Fruits, full of all Delights. I answer for it to Heaven, 
if it did not do one good to see it. But I will set forth to you much 
more concerning it in the book that I have made On the Dignity of 

On one Point I advise you, that if it was right long and ample, it was 
also well furnished within and well victualled, and in nothing resem- 
bling the hypocritical Cod-pieces of a lot of fond Suitors, which are only 
full of Wind, to the great Prejudice 9 of the female Sex. 

For his Shoes were taken up four hundred and six Ells of blue 
crimson Velvet, 10 and they were daintily slashed in parallel Lines joined 
in uniform Cylinders; for the Soling of them were employed eleven 
hundred Skins of brown Cows cut like the Tail of a Stockfish. 

For his Cloak u were used eighteen hundred Ells of blue Velvet dyed 
in grain, 12 embroidered all round with fine Flourishes and decked in 

4 The treatise (ascribed to Orpheus) 
T€pl \l6uv was written about the time 
of Constantius. It is on the magical 
properties of precious stones. Several 
editions were published in the beginning 
of the 1 6th century. 

On the Agate ('Ax&Tqi) are the follow- 
ing lines, which probably caught Rabelais' 

'U.flA 9' mif*mrk9T» *au miyk^trra MApwyZn. 608 
t/Mprir rt yw+tifr hn^errm mnpm Burw. 6x9 

Pliny in his 37th and last Book has 

a good deal to say about emeralds, but not 
this " fact." 

Fr. canne = ij French ells = 81 

7 Fr. unions, from Lat. uniones (Maxt., 
Plin. ), pearls of the largest size. 

8 Cf. Prologue of this Book. 

9 Fr. interest, iii. 16. 

10 Fr. bleu cramoisi = purple. 
n Fr. saye = Lat. sagum, 

u in grain. Well dyed and with 
durable colours. Regis quotes Twelfth 
Night, L 5, 255 : "Til in grain, sir; 'twill 
endure wind and weather." 




the middle with silver Pints worked in Purl, intermixed with Bands 18 of 
Gold with many Pearls, by this denoting that he would be a good Pint- 
whipper in his time. 

His Girdle was made of three hundred Ells and a half of silk Serge, 
hali* white and half blue, or I am much mistaken. 

His Sword was not of Valentia, nor his Dagger of Saragossa ; for his 
Father hated all those Hidalgos Bourrachous™ Infidels like Devils ; but 
he had a fair Sword of Wood, and the Dagger of boiled Leather, as well 
painted and gilded 16 as any one could wish. 

His Purse was made of the Cod of an Elephant, which was given 
him by Herr Pracontal, proconsul of Libya. 16 

For his Gown were used nine thousand six hundred Ells, wanting 
two-thirds, of blue Velvet, as above, all purfled with Gold in a diagonal 
Arrangement, from which by true Perspective resulted a nameless 
Colour, such as you see on the Necks of Turtle-doves, 17 which wonder- 
fully rejoiced the Eyes of the Beholders. 

For his Cap were taken up three hundred and two Ells and a quarter 
of white Velvet, and the Form of it was wide and round according to 
the largeness of his Head ; for his Father said that these Caps of the 
Marrabaise 18 fashion, made like the Crust of a Pasty, would some day 
bring a Mischief on their close-shaven Wearers. 

For his Plume he wore a fine large blue Feather taken from a 
Pelican (onocrotal) of the Country of Hyrcania the wild, very daintily 
hanging over his right Ear. 

For his Cap-brooch he had, set in a Plate of Gold weighing sixty- 
eight Marks, a fair Piece of enamelled Work, in which was represented 
a human Body having two Heads, one turned towards the other, four 
Arms, four Feet, and two Rumps, such as b Plato says in his Symposium b symp. Z9 oa. 
Man's Nature was, at its mystical Beginning ; and round about it was in 
Ionic Letters : C H wydirrj ov ^qrel rb, iavrffc* © x Cor. xiu. 5. 

To wear about his Neck, he had a golden Chain weighing twenty- 
five thousand and sixty-three Marks of Gold, made in form of great 

M " Virgatis lucent sagulis " (Virg. 
Aen, viii. 660). 

14 Hidalgos bourrachous. Borrachos 
is a Spanish term of contempt meaning 
drunken sots, from Borracha, a wine-skin. 

^ fin d dorer comme une dague de 

M It was from Libya the Roman procon- 
suls would send animals for gladiatorial 
shows. The house of Pracontal belonged 
to Montelimar in Dauphine* (Duchat). 

17 On the necks of turtle-doves. Ct 
Lucr. ii. 799 sqq. 

u Marrabaise, i.e. Moorish, from Moure 
and Arabe\ cf. iii. 22. Formerly the 
Jews were compelled to wear such caps 
as a distinction from Christians. About 
this time there was a violent prejudice 
against strangers, especially against the 
Jews, who were accused of murdering 
little children, and so liable to maltreat- 




Berries, among which were worked large green Jaspers engraved and cut 
like Dragons surrounded with Beams and Sparks, as they were formerly 
worn by king Necepsos. 19 And it came down to the Hollow "° of his 
Stomach, and of this all through his Life he had the benefit, such as is 
known by the Greek Physicians. 21 

For his Gloves were employed sixteen Skins of Hobgoblins, and 
three of Ware-wolves for the bordering of them ; and they were made in 
such a manner by the Order of the Cabalists of Sainlouand. 2 * 

For his Rings, which his Father wished that he should wear to 
renew the ancient Sign of Nobility, he had on the Index Finger of his 
left Hand a Carbuncle as large as an Ostrich Egg set in Seraph ** Gold 
very delicately. On the Medical Finger of the same Hand he had a 
Ring made of the Four Metals together in the most wonderful Fashion 
that ever was seen, so that the Steel did not rub the Gold or the Silver 
crush the Copper. All this was made by Captain Chappuys 84 and 
Alcofribas 25 his good Helper. 26 On the Medical Finger of his right he 
had a Ring made in spiral Form, in which were set a perfect Balai-ruby, 
a pointed Diamond, and an Emerald of Physon ** of inestimable Value ; 
for Hans Carvel, 28 grand Jeweller to the King of Melinda, 29 estimated the 
Value of them at sixty-nine millions eight hundred and ninety-four 
thousand and eighteen French Crowns of fine Gold (lit sheep with 
long wool 80 ) ; and at so much did the Fourques 81 of Augsburg prize them. 

18 Necepsos, a great Egyptian king and 
astrologer (v. 42) who believed in the 
efficacy of the green jasper, according to 

80 boucque (= bouche or boucle = norn- 
bril (?) ). 

81 Greek physicians, i.e. Galen, de 
Simplic. ix. , cap. on " Iaspis viridis" (Du- 

* There was a priory at Sainlouand 
(St. Liventius or Lupentius) on the 
Vienne, not far from Chinon. It was 
the Prior of St. Louant who persecuted 
the Lord of Basche* with his Catchpoles 
(iv. 12). 

88 Seraph is an Egyptian gold piece 
(= European ducat), first coined by the 
Soudan Melech Seraph. (Cf. ii 14, 
iii. 2) (Duchat). 

* Claude Chappuys of Touraine was 
librarian to Francis I. 

* Alcofribas (Nasier) is the anagram 
of Francois Rabelais, adopted by Rabelais 

as the name of the writer of his first two 
Books. (L 21, ii. 54.) 

88 facteur is taken by Duchat and 
others to mean the chronicler of the /aids 
et diets of Gargantua. 

87 Physon or Pishon is one of the four 
rivers of Eden, encompassing the land of 
Havilah: "There is bdellium and the 
oynx stone" (Gen. ii. 12). 

88 Hans Carvel occurs again, iii. 28, 
in a story taken from Ariosto, Sat. v. 

88 Melinda, cf. i. 5. 

80 moutons a la grand* laine (L 53 
and iii. 2), gold pieces coined in the 
reigns of St Louis — Charles VIIL, bear- 
ing the figure of Christ as the Agnus Dei. 
Worth 16 francs of modern money. 

81 Fourques (Germ. Fugger) of Augs- 
burg, immensely rich merchants and 
jewellers at the beginning of the 16th 
century, mentioned in the Conies d*Eu~ 
trapel, c. 5 (" De la Goutte "). Cf. Letter 
I. to Geoffiroi d'Estissac. 


The Colours and Livery of Gargantua 

The Colours of Gargantua were white and blue, as you may have read 
above, by which his Father wished it to be understood that it was to 
him a heavenly Joy, for the White did signify to him Gladness, Pleasure, 
Delights and Rejoicing, and the Blue heavenly Things. 

I understand right well that in reading these Words, you scoff at the 
old Toper and look upon this Exposition of the Colours as far too 
clumsy * and wide of the Mark, and tell me that White signifies Faith, 
and Blue Constancy. But without moving, vexing, heating or chafing 
you, for the Season is dangerous, answer me, if it seemeth good to you. 
No other Constraint will I put upon you or any other, whosoever they 
be, only I will tell you a Word of the Bottle. 

Who stirreth you ? Who pricks you ? Who tells you that White 
signifieth Faith, and Blue Constancy ? An old beggarly 2 Book, you 
say, sold by Pedlars 8 and Ballad-mongers, intituled " The Blazon of 
Colours." 4 Who made it? — Whoever it is, in this he hath shown 
Wisdom that he hath not set his Name to it But otherwise, I know not 
whether to wonder at most, his Presumption or his Stupidity. 

His Presumption, for that without Reason, without Cause and with- 
out Probability he has dared to prescribe by his private Authority what 

1 Fr. tndague = sans dague, without 
a dagger or weapon, not befitting gentle- 
men who wore arms, hence clownish, 

* trepelu (iii. 20), with a pun on trts 
feu Iu, is properly mouldy; hence paltry y 

• Hssouarts, clothed in brown {Ms). 

4 Rabelais is referring to a book 
published about 1530, without date or 

name of place, under the title of le Blason 
des couleurs en armes, livrics et devises. 
The name of the author appears on the 
first line of the prologue, Sidle, herald of 
arms of the King of Aragon. The 
passages Rabelais is scoffing at run thus : 
" Quant aux septs sacremens de l'^glise, 
blanche coultur represent le sacrement de 
bapteme" "Antr se prend pour le 
sacrement de confirmation " (M. ) 


things should be denoted by the Colours; which is the Custom of 
Tyrants who wish their Will to hold the place of Reason; 6 and 
not the Manner of the Wise and Learned, who with the Evidence of 
Reason do satisfy their Readers. 

His Stupidity, in thinking that, without other Proofs and sufficient 
Arguments, the World would rule their Devices by his doltish 

In fact as the Proverb saith : " To filthy Tale Ears never fail," he 
has found some Remnant of the Ninnies of the old Time when high 
Bonnets 6 were in fashion, who gave some Trust to his Writings, and 
in accordance with them have shaped their Apophthegms and Mottoes, 
caparisoned their Mules, clothed their Pages, quartered their Breeches, 
embroidered their Gloves, fringed their Bed-curtains, painted their 
Ensigns, composed Songs and, what is worse, been guilty of Impostures 
and base Tricks clandestinely among chaste Matrons. 

In the like Darkness are wrapped up these vainglorious Courtiers 
and Transposers of Names who wishing to signify in their Devices esprit* 
have pourtrayed a Sphere, 

birds' pens for pains, 

Fancholie 8 for melancholy \ 

the horned moon for a crescent fortune, 

a broken bench for bankrupt, 

non and a corselet for non dur habit ( = non durabii), 

a lict sans del for a licentik, 
-which are Equivocations so absurd, so stale, so clownish and 
barbarous that a Fox's Tail 9 ought to be pinned to their Collar and a 
Mask made of a Cow-pat for each of those Persons, who should hence- 
forth offer, after the Revival of Letters, to employ them in France. 

For the same Reasons (if Reasons I ought to call them and not 
Ravings) I should have a Panier painted to denote that I am pained; 
and a Mustard-pot to shew that my Heart is much tardy, 

B "Hocvolo, sicjubeo; stet pro ratione 7 espotr. The pronunciation of the 

voluntas." Juv. vi. 223. two. words was not so different in 

6 hauts bonnets. This ridiculous head- Rabelais' time as it became afterwards, 

gear was in vogue from the time of Louis Sphere was written espere, as in Vesper e 

XI. till about 1560, but was now much du Ciel (M..) 

decried as being a foolish old fashion (iv. 8 anckolie is the aquilegia or colum- 

Prol. Anc.) Chapperons were in fashion bine. 

before the Hauts Bonnets. There is an in- * Fox's tail, etc (ii. 16). To make 

teresting Ballad on this subject printed by fun of people, such appendages were 

M. de Montaiglon in his Poisies Inidites fastened behind them without their know- 

des xifi"* et *»**•"• siecles, vol. iv. p. 326. ledge. 




a Chamber-pot™ for a Chamberlain ; 

the Bottom of my Breeches for a wind-vexed Bottom ; 

my Cod-piece for the Z<j«# /« Best, 11 

and Estrone de Chien for TVo*; <& £*a*x, 
wherein lies the Love of my Lady. 

Far otherwise in times long ago did the Sages of Egypt when they 
described by Letters which they called Hieroglyphics, which none 
understood who did not understand, and every one understood who did 
understand the Virtue, Property and Nature of the Things figuratively 
represented by them. On these Orus Apollo 12 hath composed two 
Books in Greek, and Polyphilus in his Dream of Love 1S hath further 
expounded. In France you have some Instance of them in the Device 
of the Lord Admiral which was first borne by Octavian Augustus. 14 

But further my little Skiff shall not sail amongst these unpleasant 
Gulfs and Shoals ; I return to disembark at the Port from which I set 
out Yet do I hope one day to write on this more at large and to shew 
both by philosophical Reasons and by Authorities received and 
approved by all Antiquity, what and how many Colours are in Nature, 
and what may be designated by each, if God save the Mould of my 
Cap, 16 that is the Wine-pot, as my Grandam used to say. 

10 Official was the slang phrase for 
such a vessel ; cf. i. 21. The com- 
parison was made ideo quod officiate 
praesto sint ad officium. C£ Martial, 
adv. 119. 

U greffe=graphius= stilus. Arrest is 
a little cavity in the armour in which a 
warrior put his lance in rest. 

u Horapollon, a Greek grammarian 
of the 4th century, who wrote a book 
called Hieroglyphica. 

M Hypnerotomachia Poliphili % pub- 
lished by Aldus Manutius in Venice (folio) 
in 1499. The author was a Dominican 
monk, Francis Colonna. From this is 

borrowed the description of the game of 
chess, v. 24 and 25. 

14 In i. 33 we are told that the device 
of Augustus vnsfestina Unte, which corre- 
sponds with the (nrtvte ppadicn which Sue- 
tonius (ii. 25) tells us was frequently in 
the mouth of the emperor. The admiral 
referred to is probably Bonnivet, the 
distinguished commander under Francis 
I., who had a castle near Chinon. It 
may be Philippe Chabot, who was actually 
admiral 1 526- 1543. 

10 moule de bonnet, i.e. the head, 
which is also intended by the pot au vin 
=Lat. testa =Fr. teste, tite. 


Of that which is signified by the Colours White and Blue 

The White therefore signifieth Joy, Solace and Gladness, and not 
wrongfully so signifieth, but by good Right and just Title ; which you 
may verify if, putting your Prejudices aside, you will give Ear to what 
I will presently expound unto you. 
• Anst. Top. t. * Aristotle saith, that supposing two things Contrary in Kind, as 

6 vii. 3. * * w w» * 

' Good and Evil, Virtue and Vice, Cold and Hot, White and Black, 

Pleasure and Pain, Joy and Grief, and so on of the others ; if you 
couple them together in such fashion that the Contrary of one Kind 
may agree in Reason with the Contrary of another, it follows that the 
other Contrary answers to the other remaining Contrary. 

For example : Virtue and Vice are Contraries in one Kind, so are 
Good and Evil. If one of the Contraries of the first Kind agrees with 
the one of the second, as Virtue and Good (for it is known that 
Virtue is good), so will the two remaining ones agree, being Vice and 
Evil, for Vice is evil 

This logical Rule being understood, take these two Contraries, Joy 
and Sadness ; then these two, White and Black ; for they are physically 
contrary ; so then if Black signifieth Grief, by good Right White will 
signify Joy. 

Nor is this Significance instituted by mere human Attribution, but 
received by Consent of all the World, which Philosophers call Jus 
Gentium, universal Right, in force in all Countries. 

As you know well enough that all Peoples, all Nations and 

bpiut.7Y"w/.39. Languages — I except the ancient b Syracusans and some c Argives who 

Rom.'*. ' had cross-grained Souls — when wishing to shew their Sorrow externally 

do wear a Black Garb, and all Mourning is done with Black ; which 

universal Consent does not take place without Nature giving for it some 

Argument and Reason ; which each Person can at once understand by 

chap, x GARGANTUA 43 , 

himself without being otherwise instructed of any ; and this we call the 
Law of Nature. 

By the White, by the same natural Induction, all the world hath 
understood Joy, Gladness, Solace, Pleasure and Delectation. 

In times past the d Thracians and Cretans l marked their Days that d Piin. viL 40, 
were of good Fortune and joyous with white Stones, the sad and un- 
fortunate ones with black. 

Is not the Night mournful, sad and melancholy ? It is black and 
dark by the Privation of Light. Doth not the Light rejoice all Nature 
throughout? It is whiter than anything which is. To prove this I 
could refer you to the Book of Laurentius Valla 2 against Bartolus ; 8 
but the Evangelical Testimony will content you. In Matthew xvil it is 
said that at the Transfiguration of our Lord, vestimenta ejus facta sunt 
alba sicut lux. His Garments were made white as the Light ; by which 
luminous Whiteness he gave His three Apostles to understand the Idea 
and Figure of the Joys eternal For by the Light are all men cheered, 
according to the Saying which you have of an old Woman who had no 
Teeth in her Head, and still she said, Bona lux.* And Tobit, cap, v., 
after he had lost his Sight, when Raphael saluted him answered: 
" What Joy can I have that do not see the Light of Heaven ? " In such 
Colour did the Angels testify the Joy of the whole Universe at the 
Resurrection of the Saviour, John xx. 9 and at His Ascension, Acts j. 
With the like Vesture did Saint John the Evangelist, Apocal. iiij. and 
vij.y see the Faithful clad in the heavenly and beatified Jerusalem. 

Read the ancient Histories, e Greek as well as f Roman, and you •Diony*. Hal. 
will find that the Town of Alba, the first Pattern of Rome, was founded 'Vvuv^fm. ▼& 
and so called after the Discovery of a white Sow. 4a " 48 ' 

You will find that, if it was decreed for any one, after he had gained 
a Victory over his Enemies, that he should enter Rome in g triumphant « Senr. ad virg. 

Atn. iv. 543. 

1 Crcwa ne careat pulchra dies nota. e t Lucerna juris civilis. His book de 

Hor. C. u 36, 10. insigniis et armis was the one assailed 

It is, however, a mistake to suppose that by L. Valla in a letter ad candidum 

terra creta (chalk) is from the island of Deeembrem (R.) 

Crete rather than cerno, though the best 4 " Sed multo etiam suavius si quis 

chalk did come from the island Kimolos animadvertat anus longo jam senio mor- 

in the Cretan Sea (yr) KtfiuXla). tuas adeoque cadaverosas ut ab inferis 

* Laurentius Valla, the well-known rediisse videri possint, tamen illud semper 

humanist, born in Rome 14 1 5, ti465? in ore habere <p£n dyaddv" (Erasmus, 

His chief work was de elegantiis Latini Mariae Encom.) "<pws &ya$6v. Id est 

sermonis. lumen bonum. Vita lumen est. Id 

9 Bartolus, born at Sassoferrato 131 3, autem dictum est abanu quapiam moriente 

Professor of Jurisprudence at Bologna quam etiamnum juvabat vivere " (Lister's 

and Pisa. He was known as Speculum Commentary). 




c 97. 

State, he did so enter on a Chariot drawn by white Horses, as did also 
he who made an Entry in an Ovation; for by no other Sign or Colour 
could they more surely express the Joy of their Coming than by 
p*rui. You will find that h Pericles, Duke of the Athenians, ordered that 
Part of his Men-at-arms, unto whose Lot befell the white Beans, should 
pass the whole Day in Joy, Solace and Repose, while those of the other 
Part should fight. A thousand other Examples and Places could I set 
forth to this Purpose, but here is not the Place. 

By means of this Intelligence you can resolve a Problem which 
Alexander of Aphrodisias 6 has accounted insoluble: "Why the Lion 
who by his Cry and Roaring alone affrights all Animals dreads and 
feareth only a white Cock ? " For as Proclus 6 saith lib. de Sacrificio et 
Magia it is because the Presence of the Power of the Sun, who is the 
Instrument and Storehouse of all terrestrial and sidereal Light, doth 
more symbolise and agree with the white Cock (as well in. regard of 
that Colour as of his Property and specific Order) than with the Lion. 
Further he saith that Devils have often been seen in the Form of a 
Lion, which at the Presence of a white Cock have suddenly disappeared. 

That is the reason why the Galli (that is, the French, who are so 
called, because they are naturally white as Milk, which the Greeks call 
Gala) do willingly wear in their Caps white Feathers ; for by Nature 
they are merry, candid, gracious and well disposed, 7 and for their 
Symbol and Ensign they have the Flower that is whiter than any other, 
the Flower de luce. 

If you ask how it is that by the Colour White Nature leads us to 
understand Joy and Gladness, I answer you that the Analogy and Con- 
formity is thus. For, as White doth outwardly disperse and scatter the 
View, manifestly dissolving the Spirits visual, according to the opinion 
» ProM.xxxi.3o. f » Aristotle in his Problems and of the Writers on Optics — and you 

5 Head of the Peripatetic School at 
Athens under Septimius Severus, 198- 
211 A.D., a distinguished follower and 
commentator of Aristotle. There survive 
of his writings treatises De Fato t De 
Ammo, T€pl fjUfrun, Quaesticnes Naiurales 
and others. This dropla appears in his 
problemata medica et naturalia (praef.) 
Cf. also Plutarch, de Inv. et Odio, 537 C, 
and de Sollertia An. 981 K ; also iv. 62. 

* Proclus Diadochus (412-485 A.D.), 
one of the most distinguished of the Neo- 
Platonists. Many of his treatises and 

commentaries on Plato (Tim. and Farm.) 
are still extant The passage here alluded 
to is as follows in Lat. trans. : "Deinde et 
animalia sunt solaria multa, velut leones 
et galli, numinis cujusdam Solaris pro sua 
natura participes ; unde minim est quanta 
inferiora in eodem ordine cedant superior - 
ibus, quamvis magnitudine non cedant ; 
huic ferunt gallum timeri a leone quam 
plurimum et coli." Cf. Sir T. Browne, 
Pseudodox. iii. 27, § 7; Hamlet ', i. 1, 
150-160; Lucr. iv. 710-717. 
7 bun amis, not aimis. 

chap, x GARGANTUA 45 

perceive it by Experience when you pass over Mountains covered with 

Snow, so that you complain that you cannot steadily look at them, 

as } Xenophon records to have happened to his Men, and as Galen J Anab. iv. 5. 

amply expoundeth lib. x. De usu partium — just so the Heart by 

exceeding Joy is inwardly dilated, and suffereth manifest Resolution of 

the vital Spirits, which can be heightened to such a Degree, that the 

Heart remains deprived of its Nourishment, and consequently Life is 

extinguished by this pericharia* as Galen saith, lib. xij. Methods lib. v. 

De locis affectis and lib. ij. De symptomatum causis ; and it happened in 

former Times, as is testified by Marcus Tullius lib. i. Quaes t. Tusc, 

Verrius, Aristotle, Titus Livius, 'after the Battle of Cannae, Pliny lib. vij. 

c. xxxij. and lit)'., A. Gellius lib. iij. ij and others; to Diagoras of 

Rhodes, Chilo, Sophocles, Dionysius, Tyrant of Sicily, Philippides, 

Philemon, Polycrita, Philistion, M. Juventius and others who died of 

Joy. d And as Avicenna saith in if. canone et lib. De viribus cordis, of 

Saffron, that it doth so rejoice the Heart that it robs it of Life, if it be 

taken in an excessive Dose, by superfluous Resolution and Dilatation. 

Here see Alexander Aphrodisias lib. prima Problematum cap. xix., and 

that for a Cause. 

But what ? I am going farther in this Matter than I proposed at the 
Beginning. Here then I will furl my Sails, referring the Rest to the 
Book entirely devoted to this. Meanwhile I will say in a Word that 
Blue doth certainly signify Heaven and things celestial, by the same 
Tokens that White signifieth Joy and Pleasure. 

■ Tepixdpeia, excess of joy. Attic New Comedy, seems to be derived 

9 Pliny (vii. 53) accounts in this way from Valerius Maximus (ix. 12, ext. 6). 

(quoting Verrius Flaccus) for the deaths Rabelais mentions it again L 20 and iv. 

of Chilo, Sophocles, Dionysius, M. 17, where he strangely puts Philomenes 

Juventius Tftalna; Aulus Gellius (iii. 15) for Philemon. 

(quoting Aristotle) for the deaths of Philistion, a mimographer of the time 

Diagoras, Philippides, Polycrita. Both of of Augustus. Like Philemon, he died of 

them speak of the mother dying after excessive laughter. Grace. Anthol. vii 

Cannae, while Livy (xxii. 7, § 13) places 155: 

it after the battle of Lake Thrasymene. , ^ ^o^mmm Arf,Ar„ 0* 

Cicero {TUSC. D. X. 46, § III) y|x*« *y*r«* NiW* *Ajrr/*» 

speaks of Diagoras ; while the account of iwrmStm mT^um, W4«m» *-*»*« /&W 

the death of Philemon, the poet of the ****** £«*«,*>, 2fa *• gttMtfm. 


Of the youthful Age of Gargantua 

From three Years of Age till five Gargantua was brought up and 
instructed in all convenient Discipline, by the Command of his Father ; 
and he spent that Time like the other little Children of the Country, 
that is to wit, in drinking, eating and sleeping, in eating, sleeping and 
drinking, in sleepin&drajring and eating. 

He was always wallowing^ in the Mire, slobbering his Nose, blurring 
his Face, treading his Shoes down at Heel, often gaping after Flies ; and 
* cf i. 3. he did'willingly run after the a Butterflies over whom his Father held 

He p— d in his Shoes and s — t in his Shirt and wiped his Nose 

on his Sleeve, he snivelled in his Soup, and paddled about everywhere, 

and drank out of his Slipper, and did ordinarily rub his Belly with a 

a. v. aa. b Basket. He would pick his Teeth with a wooden c Shoe, wash his 

C\m V 21 

Hands in his Broth, comb his Head with a Bowl, sit down betwixt 
two Stools with his Rump on the Ground, cover himself with a 
wet Sack, drink while eating his Soup, eat his Cake without Bread, 
bite laughing and laugh biting, often spit in the Dish, f — d with 
Fat, p — d against the Sun, hid himself in Water against the Rain j 
he would strike the Iron before it was hot, thought crooked, gave 
himself Airs and Graces, flayed the Fox, would say the Ape's Pater- 
noster} came back to his Sheep, 2 turned the Sows out to Hay, 
beat the Dog before the Lion, put the Cart before the Oxen, and 
scratched himself where he did not itch, drew the Worms from his 
4 a. i. 46. Nose ; by d gripping all he would hold fast nothing, eat his white Bread 
first, shoe the Grasshoppers, tickle himself to make himself laugh ; he 
was a good Trencher-man in the Kitchen, offered Straw to the Gods for 

1 Apt' s Paternoster i mutter and mumble to himself like apes mopping and mowing ; 
ii. 7, iv. 2a • * retournait a ses moutons. Cf. i. 1. 


chap, xi GARGANTUA 47 

Corn, would sing Magnificat at Matins and find it in Season, eat Cab- 
bages and s — Beet ; he did know Flies in Milk, 8 pulled the Legs off Flies, 
scratched out a Writ on Paper, blotted the Parchment, got off by his 
Heels ; he would pull at the Kid's Leather, 4 reckon without his Host, 
beat the Bushes without catching the Birds, believed the Clouds were 
brass Frying-pans and that Bladders were Lanterns ; 5 he would take two 
Grists from one Sack, make an Ass of himself to get Victuals, use his 
Fist for a Mallet, take Cranes at the first Start ; he would have Coats of 
mail made Link by Link, 6 always looked a gift Horse in the Mouth, 7 
he would leap from the Cock to the Ass, jumbled green and ripe to- 
gether, made a Ditch of his Land {i.e. the best of a bad bargain), kept 
the Moon from the Wolves. He was ready to catch e Larks if the • "• *7- 
Clouds fell, made Virtue of Necessity, 8 made Soup of such Bread as he 
had (i.e. cut his coat accqjsdkigjto his cloth), cared as little for the peeled 
as for the shaven, and nayeatheTtox every Morning. 

His father's little Dogs ate out of his Dish ; he likewise used to eat 
with them. He bit their Ears, they scratched his Nose ; he would blow 
on their Rump and they would lick his Chaps. ^ 

And what think ye, me Honies ? Listen, or may the Cask be your 
Poison ! This little Lecher was always groping his Governesses topsy- 
turvy, backwards and forwards, 

Harri bourriquet 9 [Gee up, Neddy], 
and he already began to use his Cod-piece. This his Governesses did 
every day deck with fair Nosegays, fine Ribbons, sweet Flowers, and 
pretty silken Tufts, and would pass their Time in making it dilate in 

• flits in milk (ii. 12, iii. 22), i.e. 8 virtue of necessity. This proverb is 
black from white. This is from Villon derived by Rawlinson (Herod, vi. 140) 
(Ballade des menus propos) : "Jecongnois from 'J&pfuhnos xd>j. Hermon, king of 
bien mouschesen laict " (p. 150, Lacroix). Hephaestia in Lemnos, finding that the 

4 tiroil au chevrotin, i.e. make himself Athenians under Miltiades had reduced 
sick by excess. Myrina, the other town, gave himself up 

• CI Villon, Grand Test. 57, 58 : " from goodwill to the Athenians." 

lvii. • There is a Noel preserved in the 

Abuser se faict a entendre Anciennes Poisiis Francoises^ vii p. 46, 

Toujour, dung que ce fust ung aultre . . . of which ^ rcfrain ^ ^ ^ f 

m • • * • * * 

Et rend vessies pour lanternes. Hari bourriquet. A cry in Languedoc 

lviii. to make asses go faster. Cf. Merlin 

Du del une poisle d'arain Coccai : 
Des noes une peau de veau. 

_ _.. . j.j... Non tibi substigans asinum pronuntiet : arri! 

e Pluaeurs raisins precedent d un boorjon M " <a 

VI ■■kaaZll^ X •nA«IlA m«M_aii 1a M an*%aot AASk tf~" 

Et maflle a maOle faict-on le hauberjeon. 

Critm, p. 93a. 

7 ... carj'oytenir 

Aox saiges qu'a cheval donne" . . 

Onncdoibtpaslagueuleouvrir. *"» for <l uotin g ^ P°«ns and adding 

Coquillart (M.) arri afterwards. 

There is a story in Franco Sacchetti 
(1335), in which Dante strikes an ass- 



their Hands like a besalved Roller. Then they would burst out laugh- 
ing when it lifted its Ears, as though the Game had pleased them. One 
called it my Pillicock, another my Nine-pin, another my Branch of 
Coral, another my Stopple, my Cork, my Nimble-wimble, my Driving- 
pin, my Auger, my Dingle-dangle, my Steady go stiff- and-low, my 
Crimping-iron, my little ruddy Sausage, my little dainty Cod. 

" It belongs to me," quoth one. 

" It is mine, 11 said another. 

" What," quoth a third, " shall I have no Share in it ? By my Faith, 
then I will cut it off." 

" What," said the other, " cut it off! You would do it hurt, Madam'; 
is it your way to cut off children's Things ? Why, he would be Master 

And that he might disport himself, they made him a pretty Whirligig 
of the Wings of a Wind-mill of Myrebalais. 


Of Gargantuds Hobby-horses 

Afterwards, to the end that all his Life he should be a good Rider, 
there was made for him a fine great wooden Horse, which he made to 
prance, leap, curvet, fling out and rear all at a time ; to pace, trot, rack, 
gallop, amble, go the Pace of a Hobby, a Hackney, a Camel, or a wild 
Ass. And he had the Colour of its Hair changed as the Monks do 
their Dalmatics 1 according to the Festivals; bay, sorrel, dapple-grey, 
mouse-dun, deer-colour, roan, cow-colour, zebra, skew-bald, piebald, 

He himself with a huge Post made a Hunting-nag, and another for 
every-day Use out of a Beam of a Wine-press ; and out of a great Oak 
he made a Mule with its Housings for his Chamber. Moreover, he had 
ten or twelve for a relay, and seven Horses for the Post. And he put 
them all up in their Stall close by himself. 

One day the Lord of Bread-in-bag came to visit Gargantua's Father 
with a great Retinue and Pomp ; on which Day likewise were come to 
see him the Duke of Freemeal and the Earl of Wetgullet. In truth 
the House was somewhat small for so many People, and especially the 
Stables; whereupon the Steward and Harbinger 8 of the said Lord of 
Bread-in-bag, in order to know if elsewhere in the House there were 
empty Stables, applied to Gargantua then a young Lad, asking him 
secretly where were the Stables of the great Horses, 8 with the notion 
that Children 4 readily discover everything. 

1 courtibatix (LaL curium HbiaU\ a * the great horses are used of the heavy 

sort of tunic or dalmatic coming just below chargers of the Knights, 
the knees (Duchat). 

* Harbinger (Fr. fourrier), the officer 4 A fol «» ^^^ et a gens ivrn 

_. j j . . A _ i^_i Ne faut ses secret! reveler ; 

who preceded a great personage to look Car .don que trouvon. e. lrma, 

out tor his accommodation. Properly Jamais ne vailent rien celer. 

Berbergeour, from Fr. Htrbcrge. Smtt mux Matt dor** d* CmUn. 





Upon this he led them by the great Staircase of the Castle, passing 
through the second Hall into a large Gallery, by which they entered 
into a great Tower ; and as they were going up by another pair of Stairs, 
the Harbinger said to the Steward : 

"This Child is deceiving us, for the Stables are never at the Top of 
the House." 

" That is a Mistake on your Part," says the Steward ; " for I know 
Places at Lyons, la Basmette, 6 at Chaisnon 6 and elsewhere, in which 
the Stables are at the very Tops of the Houses ; so it may be that 
behind the House there is an Outlet to the Ascent But I will ask him 
more exactly." 

Then he asked Gargantua : " My pretty little Boy, whither are you 
leading us ? " 

" To the Stable/ 1 said he, " of my great Horses. We shall be there 
directly ; only let us climb these Stairs. 1 ' 

Then taking them through another large Hall, he led them to his 
Chamber, and opening the Door : " See here," said he, " are the Stables 
which you are asking for ; there is my Gennet, there is my Gelding, my 
Courser, my Hackney"; and loading them with a great Lever, he said, 
" I make you a Present of this Friesland Horse ; I had him from Frank- 
fort, but he shall be yours ; he is a pretty little Nag with great staying 
Power: with a tassel Goshawk, half-a-dozen Spaniels and a brace of 
Greyhounds, there you are King of the Partridges and Hares for all this 

"By Saint John," said they, "we are rarely taken in; this time we 
have the Monk." 7 

" I say nay to you for that," said he. " He has not been here the 
last three Days." Now judge which they had most Cause to do, to hide 
themselves for Shame or to laugh at the Pastime. 

As they were thus coming down again quite confused, he asked them, 
" Would you like a Whim-wham ? " 

" What is that ? " said they. 

5 la Basmette, a Franciscan convent 
just below Angers, built by Rene* d'Anjou, 
king of Sicily, on the model of Sainte- 
Baume in Provence. It was here that 
Rabelais and the young du Bellay, after- 
wards Cardinal, studied together. 

* Chaisnon. Rabelais gives this name 
to his birth-place Chinon, from Caino, the 
name given it by Gregory of Tours. " In 
the Rue du Puy-des-Bancs (at Chinon), 

the chief approach to the Chateau, are 
several caverns in the rock, still used as 
dwellings " (Badeker's N. France, p. 259 ; 
ed. 1889). 

7 avoir le moine, donner le moine, are 
proverbial expressions alluding to a prac- 
tical joke, differently explained, either (i.) 
the schoolboy trick of " toeing " a com- 
rade, or (ii.) filling a warming-pan with 
ice. Cf. i. 45. 




" It is," answered he, " five T — ds to make you a Muzzle." 

" For this day present," said the Steward, " if we are roasted, never 
shall we burn at the Fire, for we have been larded to a Turn, to my way 
of thinking. O my little Dapper one, thou hast given us ' Hay on the 
Horn ' ; 8 I shall see thee Pope some day." 

"So I understand it," said he; "but then you shall be a Puppy 
(butterfly), and this gentle Popinjay shall be a Popeling ready made." 

"Verily, verily," saith the Harbinger. 

"But," said Gargantua, "guess how many Stitches there are in my 
Mother's Smock." 

" Sixteen," quoth the Harbinger. 

"You do not speak Gospel," saith Gargantua; "there are centum 
before and centum behind, and you counted them quite wrong." 

" When ? " saith the Harbinger. 

" Even then," quoth he, " when they made of your Nose a Tap to 
draw off a Measure of Dung, and a Funnel of your Throat to put it into 
another Vessel because the Bottom of the old one was out" 

" Copsbody," said the Steward, " we have found a Prater. Farewell, 
master Tatler, God keep you from Harm, who have your Mouth so 

So, as they were going down in great Haste, under the Arch of the 
Stairs they let fall the great Lever which Gargantua had laden them 
with, whereupon he said : " What devilish bad Horsemen ye are ! Your 
Cob fails you at Need If you had to go from here to Cahusac, whether 
had you rather ride on a Goose or lead a Sow in a Leash ?" 

" I would like rather to drink," said the Harbinger. 

Saying this they entered into the lower Hall where all the Company 
was, and relating to them this Story they made them laugh like a Swarm 
of Flies. 10 

8 From Horace's "faenum habet in 
corxra " {Sat. L 4, 34). 

9 Cahusac. This would probably be 
the Cahusac in Agenois where was the 
estate of Louis d'Estissac, kinsman of 
Rabelais' patron, the Bishop of Maille- 

zais. There were three places of this 
name in Languedoc. It is mentioned in 
connexion with this family, iv. 53. 

10 swarm of flits seems to refer to 
Homer (//. i. 599) where the gods laugh 
at Vulcan limping. Cf. iv. New ProL 



Comment Grandgousier cogneut F Esprit merveilleux 
de Gargantua d P Invention dun Torchecul 

Sur la fin de la quinte annle, Grandgousier, retournant de la defaicte 
l 30; u. ii, 23. des a Canarriens, visita son filz Gargantua. Lk rut resjouy, comme un 
tel pere pouvoit estre, voyant un sien tel enfant. Et, le baisant et acol- 
lant, rinterrogeoit de petits propos pueriles en diverses sortes. Et beut 
d'autant avec luy et ses Gouvernantes, esquelles par grand soing de- 
mandoit, entire aultres cas, si elles l'avoient tenu blanc et net ? A ce 
Gargantua fit response qu'il y avoit donn£ tel ordre qu'en tout le pays 
n'estoit garson plus net que luy. 

" Comment cela ? dist Grandgousier. — J'ay, respondit Gargantua, par 
longue et curieuse experience, invent^ un moyen de me torcher le oil,* 
le plus seigneurial, le plus excellent, le plus expedient que jamais fut 
veu. — Quel ? dist Grandgousier. — Comme vous le raconteray, dist 
Gargantua, presentement 

" Je me torchay une fois d'un cachelet 8 de velours d'une Damoiselle, 
et le trouvay bon, car la mollice de la soye me causoit au fondement 
une voluptl bien grande. 

u Une aultre fois, d'un chaperon d'icelle, et rut de mesmes. 

" Une aultre fois, d'un cachecoul ; une aultre fois, des oreillettes de 
satin cramoysi, mais la dorure d'un tas de spheres de merde qui y 

* A insert* Uflus royaL 

1 This most unfragrant and undesirable tions of the time, when others such 

chapter has been left untranslated. No as Des Periers, Marot, and Dolet 

doubt when it was written it was eagerly were burnt or exiled. The rhymed 

read by some great personages. It should parts of this chapter are either bor- 

be remembered in Rabelais' defence that rowed or parodied from Marot Cf. 

it was under buffooneries and obscenities Epigr. xv. 

of this kind that he sheltered himself * cachelet (v. 2j)=cacfotaut, a sort of 

against the terrible religious persecu- mask willingly worn by ugly women. 

chap, xiii GARGANTUA 53 

estoient m'escorcherent tout le derriere. Que le feu sainct Antoine arde 
le boyau cullier de l'Orfebvre qui les fit, et de la Damoiselle qui les 
portoit ! 

" Ce mal passa me torchant d'un bonnet de Paige, bien empluml a 
la Suisse. 8 

" Puis, fiantant derriere un buisson, trouvay un chat de Mars; d'iceluy 
me torchay, mais ses gryphes m'exulcererent tout le perinle. 

"De ce me gueris au lendemain, me torchant des guands de ma 
mere, bien parfumls de maujoin. 4 

" Puis me torchay de saulge, de fenoil, de aneth, de marjolaine, de 
roses, de feuilles de courles, 6 de choux, de bettes, de pampre, de guy- 
mauves, de verbasce 6 (qui est escarlatte de cul), de lactues et de feuilles 
d'espinards. Le tout me fit grand bien a ma jambe ; de mercuriale/ de 
persiguiere, 8 d'orties, de consolde ; mais j'en eus la cacquesangue de 
Lombard : dont fus guary me torchant de ma braguette. 

" Puis me torchay aux linceulx, a la couverture, aux rideaux, d'un 
coissin, d'un tapis, d'un verd, 9 d'une mappe, d'une serviette, d'un mous- 
chenez, d'un peignouoir. En tout je trouvay de plaisir plus que n'ont les 
roigneux quand on les estrille. 

— Voire, mais, dist Grandgousier, lequel torchecul trouvas tu meilleur? 
— J'y estois, dit Gargantua, et bien tost en sgaurez le tu autem. 10 Je me 
torchay de foin, de paille, de bauduffe, 11 de bourre, de laine, de papier ; 

Tousjours laisse aux cooillons esmorche 
Qui son hord cul de papier torche. 

— Quoy, dist Grandgousier, mon petit couillon, as tu prins au pot, 
veu que tu rimes desja? — Ouy dea, respondit Gargantua, mon roy ; je 
rime tant et plus, et, en rimant, souvent m'enrime. 18 

* & la Suisse, after the fashion of those When the prior in a convent wished to 
worn by the Swiss body-guards. indicate to the reader that the lesson was 

4 maujoin (iii 46), with a pun on to stop and the meal begin, he rapped the 

Unjoin^ is benzoin, an odoriferous Arabian table and uttered the words "Tu autem, 

gum. Domine, miserere nobis." Cf. Le Moyen 

9 ceurUs=courgeSy gourds. de parvenir y cap. 60. The same form of 

* verbasce, mullein, words is used at the end of the short 
7 mercuriaUy dog's mercury, a plant of lessons at Prime. 

the genus Euphorbiacea. 11 bauduffe, litter ; bourre, cow-hair. 

•persiguiere, tali persicaria (Poly- n OT ^„Vw, used with a pun on nVw 

gonum orientate). ^ r j lum€t borrowed probably from 

* verd, green cloth. (Ct viride, Du MarQt> £pistre au Roy (vii) _ 

29 tu autem (iL 1 1, Pant. Prog. Prol. ) En m'esbaunt je fait rondeanlx en rithme 

IS the whole from beginning to end. Et en rithmant bien tooventje m'enrime. 




"Escoutez que dit nostre Retraict aux Fianteurs : 

Chiart, Hordous, 

Foirart, Merdous, 

Petart, Esgous, 

Brenous, Le feu de sainct Antoine t'ard, 

Ton lard Si tous 

Chappart Tes trous 

S'espart Esclous 

Sus nous. Tu ne torche avant ton depart. 

"En voulez vous davantaige? — Ouy dea, respondit Grandgousier. 
— Adonc, dist Gargantua : 


En chiant, l'aultre hier senty 
La guabelTe qu'a mon col doibs ; 
L'odeur fat auJtre que cuidois : 
J'en fas du tout empuanty. 
1 si quelqu'un eust consenty 
M'amencr une qu'attendois 
En chiant I 

Car je lui eusse assimenty 
Son trou d'urine a mon lourdoys ; 
Cependant eust avec ses doigts 
Mon trou de merde guaranty, 
En chiant 

" Or, dictes maintenant que je n'y scay rien. Par la mer D£, je ne 
les ay faict mie ; mais, les oyant reciter k Dame grand que voyez cy, 18 les 
ay retenu en la gibbessiere de ma memoire. 

— Retournons, dit Grandgousier, k nostre propos. — Quel ? dist Gar- 
gantua, chier ? — Non, dist Grandgousier, mais torcher le cul. — Mais, 
dist Gargantua, voulez vous payer un bussart de vin Breton, si je vous 
fais quinault en ce propos ? — Ouy vrayement, dist Grandgousier. 

— II n'est, dist Gargantua, poinct besoing torcher le cul, sinon 
qu'il y ait ordure. Ordure n'y peut estre, si on n'a chi€ : chier done 
nous fault davant que le cul torcher. — O 1 dist Grandgousier, que tu 
as bon sens, petit garsonnet ! Ces premiers jours, je te feray passer 
Docteur en gaye science,! par Dieu, car tu as de raison plus que 

"Or poursuis ce propos torcheculatif, je t'en prie. Et, par ma 
barbe, pour un bussart tu auras soixante pipes, j'entends de ce bon vin 

t AB, em Sorbon*. 

u Dame grand que voyez cy t indicating one of his gouuernantes. 




Breton lequel poinct ne croist en Bretaigne, mais en ce bon pays de 
VerroiL 14 

— Je me torchay aprls, dist Gargantua, d'un couvrechief, d'un oreiller, 
d'une pantouphle, d'une gibessiere, d'un panier, mais 6 le malplaisant 
torchecul! puis d'un chappeau. Et notez que des chappeaux les uns 
sont ras, les autres & poil, les aultres velout&, les aultres taffetasses, les 
aultres satinizls. Le meilleur de tous est celuy de poil, car il fait tres 
bonne abstersion de la matiere fecale. 

11 Puis me torchay d'une poulle, d'un coq, d'un poullet, de la peau 
d'un veau, d'un lievre, d'un pigeon, d'un cormoran, d'un sac d'Advocat, 
d'une barbute, d'une coyphe, d'un leurre. 

" Mais, concluant, je dis et maintiens qu'il n'y a tel torchecul que 
d'un oizon bien dumete', pourveu qu'on luy tienne la teste entre les 
jambes. Et m'en croyez sus mon hppneur, car vous sentez au trou du 
oil une volupte* mirifique, tant par ,1a, douceur d'iceluy dumet que par 
la chaleur temperle de l'oizon, laqueUe facilement est communique au 
boyau culier et aultres intestins, jusques k venir k la region du cceur et 
du cerveau. 

" Et ne pensez que la beatitude des Heroes et Semidieux, qui sont 
par les Champs Elysiens, soit en leur asphodele, ou ambroisie, ou nectar, 
comme disent ces vieilles icy. EUe est, selon mon opinion, en ce qu'ilz 
se torchent le cul d'un oizon. Et telle est l'opinion de Maistre Jean 
d'Escosse." 18 

24 Verron is the tongue of land formed 
by the confluence of the Loire and the 
Vienne near Chinon. The vin Breton of 
this country was renowned as good, 
whereas the wine of Brittany was a poor 
sour drink. 

u Johannes Duns Scotus, born at Dun- 
ston in Northumberland in 1274, was a 

Franciscan teacher of great repute. He 
was at Merton College, Oxford, where he 
taught, then in 1304 in Paris, and after- 
wards at Cologne, where he died 1308. 
He founded the Scotists in opposition to 
the Thomists of St. Thomas Aquinas. 
The subtleties of his logic got him the 
name Scotine (<tkot€w6s). 

/chapter XIV 

How Gargantua was instructed in Latin by a Sophist* 

Having heard this Discourse, the good Man Grandgousier was ravished 
with Admiration, considering the high Reach and marvellous Under- 
standing of his Son Gargantua. So he spake thus to his Governesses : 
•piol^Zmt.c.6. "* Philip, King of Macedon, discovered the good Wit of his Son 
Alexander by his dextrous Managing of a Horse. For the said Horse 
was so terrible and unruly that no one dared mount upon him, because 
he gave a Fall to all his Riders, breaking the Neck of one, the Legs of 
another, braining one and breaking the Jawbone of another. Con- 
sidering this, Alexander in the Hippodrome (which was the Place where 
Horses were exercised and trained) observed that the Wildness of the 
Horse proceeded only from the Fear he had of his own Shadow. 
Whereupon, getting on his Back, he made him run towards the Sun so 
that his Shadow fell behind, and by this Means rendered the Horse 
gentle as he could wish. Whereby his Father recognised the divine 
Understanding that was in him, and had him very carefully instructed 
by Aristotle, who at that Time was esteemed above all the Philosophers 
of Greece. 

" But I assure you that in this single Discourse which I have just held 
before you with my Son Gargantua, I discover that his Understanding 
partakes of some divine Power, to such a Degree do I find him acute, 
subtle, profound and sedate. And he will arrive at a sovereign Degree 
of Wisdom if he is well instructed. Therefore I wish to entrust him to 
some learned Man to indoctrinate him according to his Capacity ; and 
therein will I spare no Cost" 

Accordingly they assigned to him a great Doctor Sophist t named 

* Sofikist*, D ; Thiolofun, ABC. 
t DocUur SofAuU, D ; Docttur en ThioUgit, ABC 




Thubal Holofernes, 1 who taught him his Alphabet 8 so well that he said 
it by Heart backwards, and he was about it five Years and three Months. 

Then he read to him Donatus, 8 Facetus, 4 Theodolet 6 and Alanus 
in Parabolis* and about this he was thirteen Years six Months and 
two Weeks. 

But note that all this Time he taught him to write in Gothic Characters, 
and he wrote all his Books, for the Art of Printing was not yet in Use. 

And he generally carried a huge Writing-case weighing more than 
seven thousand Quintals, the Pencil-case 7 of which was as great and as 
long as the huge Pillars of Enay, 8 and the Ink-horn was attached to it 
by great iron Chains, being large enough to hold a Cask of Merchandise. 

After that he read to him De tnodis significandi 9 with the Comment- 
aries of Hurt-bise, of Fasquin, of Trop-diteux, of Gualhault, of John 
Calfj 10 of Billonio, of Brelingandus and a Rabble of others, and at this 
he was more than eighteen Years and eleven Months. And he knew it 
so well that in Examination 11 he would recite it by Heart backwards, 
and prove on his Fingers to his Mother that de tnodis significandi non 
erat scientia. 

Next he read to him the Compostum} % wherein he was engaged 
sixteen Years and two Months, when his said Preceptor died : 

Deceased in fourteen hundred twenty 
Of Boils and Blains that came in plenty. 1 * 

1 Holofernes is the name given to the 
schoolmaster in Shakespeare, L.L.L. iv. 

1 alphabet, Fr. carte, because the ABC 
was ordinarily stuck on a piece of card- 

* Aehus Donatus deoctopariibus ora- 
tionis KbeUus was one of the first books 
printed. He was a celebrated gram- 
marian of the 4th century, and preceptor 
of St Jerome. A Donat in Chaucer 
is synonymous with a lesson of any kind. 

4 Liber Facsti morosi docens mores 
hominum (Deventer 1494). 

9 Ecloga Thboduu cum notabili com- 
ment* (Coloniae 1494). 

Alain de Lisle, a monk of Citeaux, 
who wrote in the 1 2th century. His 
Parables had been translated into French 
(Paris 1492). 

7 Pencil-case, Fr. galimart, from Lat 

9 Enay is the abbey of Ainay (Atan- 

eum of the Middle Ages) at Lyons, which 
was situated on the spot that had been 
occupied by the ara Lugdunensis set up 
by Drusus in honour of Augustus B.C. 12, 
at the confluence of the Saone and the 
Rhone, and inscribed with the names of 
the 60 peoples of Gallia comata. Ct 
Juv. i. 44 and Mayor's note. 

9 De modis significandi, a barbarous 
book by Jean de Garlande. 

10 John Calf. Jean le Veau, mentioned 

in the Epist. Obs. Vir. There is an 

epigram about him : 

O Deus Omnipotent, Vituli miserere Joannis 
Quern mors praeveniens non sinit esse bovem. 

n au coupeland, from coupelU, a little 
vessel for assaying metals, hence testing, 

u Compositum or Computum, a book 
for the calculation of the feasts, etc., of 
the Calendar. 

u Lines from the 3d Epigram of Cle- 
ment Marot on John, Bishop of Orleans. 





Afterwards he had another old coughing fellow named Master 
Jobelin Bridd, 14 who read to him Hugutio, 16 Hebrard's Grecismus, 16 The 
Doctrinal, 17 The Parts of Speech, The Quid «/, 18 The Sufpkmentum™ 
Marmotret, 20 De moribus in mensa servandis^ Seneca 22 de quatuor 
virtutibus cardinalibus, Passavantus a cum Commento and Dormi secure?* 
for the Festivals ; and some others of the same Kidney ; by the Reading 
whereof he became " as wise as any we ever baked in an Oven." • 

14 Jobelin Bridi, according to Duchat, 
is a sort oijob in Harness, but the name 
occurs in an early French poet, and is 
used by Rabelais to indicate a miserable 

u Hugutio, author of a grammar {Liber 
derivationum), copied by Reuchlin in his 

u Graecismus, by Everard de Bethune 
(1112), read still at Deventer in 1476. 

17 DoctrinaU Puerorum, by Alexandre 
de Ville-dieu, a Franciscan of Brittany 

u The Quid est, a sort of catechism on 
the "Parts of Speech." 

19 Supplementum Chronieorum of 
Jacques Philippe de Bergamo (Duchat). 

80 Mammotrectus (ii. 7) {pafifiMper* 
rot), a book of moral maxims for children. 

* Sulpitii Verulani (de Veroli) de 
moribus in mensa servandis, Jean Sul- 
pice flourished at the end of the 5th 
century. The book is styled quos deed in 
Des Periers, Nov. 6$ Jin. , because it begins 
with the verses 

Quot deoet in mensa mores senrare docemns, 
Virtuti at stadeas Htterulisque stmuL 

a Seneca is a pseudonym of Martin, 
Bishop of Brague, under which he wrote 
this treatise. 

* Jacques Passavant, a Florentine 
monk, author of the Specchio delta vera 
penitenna, Rabelais purposely puts Passa- 
vantus instead of Passavantius, with a gibe 
art pas savant, 

M Dormi securi, a collection of sermons 
published for the first time probably in 
1480, and often reprinted during the 16th 

36 An expression become proverbial — 

A ceste heure snis aussi sage 
Qu'oncques pais ne fourneasmes nous. 

Ancitn TkiAtrt Franfau, pubd. by 
Jannet, ii. 4a (M.) 

The meaning is evidently "he was as 
wise as he was before." 

Several of these works here mentioned — 
viz. those of de Facet, Theodolet, Alanus 
and Seneca — formed part of the Auctores 
octo morales. 


How Gargantua was put under other Schoolmasters 

Meantime his Father perceived that indeed he studied right well, and 
spent all his Time therein ; nevertheless that he profited nothing, and, 
what is worse, that he became thereby foolish and simple and altogether 
doting and doltish. 

As he was complaining thereof to Don Philippe Des Marays, Viceroy 
of Papeligosse, he was told that it were better for him to learn nothing 
than to be taught such Books under such Preceptors ; for their Know- 
ledge was but Stupidity, and their Wisdom nought but Trifles, bas- 
tardising good and noble Spirits, and corrupting the whole Flower of 

" To prove that this is so," said he, " take any one of these young Folk 
of the present Time, who has studied only two Years ; if he have not 
better Judgment, better Terms and better Discourse than your Son, 
with a better Bearing and Courtesy to everybody, account me ever after- 
wards a Chaw-bacon of Brene." 1 This was well-pleasing to Grandgousier 
and he ordered it to be done. 

In the Evening at Supper, the said Des Marays brought in a 
young Page of his from Villegongis, 9 called Eudemon, so well curled, 
so trimly dressed, so well brushed, so comely in his Behaviour, that 
he far more resembled some little Angel than a Man. Then he said 
to Grandgousier : 

" Do you see this young Boy ? He is not yet twelve Years old : let 
us see, with your good Pleasure, what Difference there is between the 

1 La Brene, a small estate in Tonraine, * VUUgongis, a place in Berri between 

in which is Mezieres, otherwise St. Buzancay and Chateauronx. Eudemon 
Michel-en- Brene (Duchat). (ettaiiw)^ gifted. 





Knowledge of your doting Mataeologists tyain-babbUrs) of times gone 
by and the young People of to-day." 

The Trial pleased Grandgousier, and he commanded the Page to 

Then Eudemon, asking Leave of the said Viceroy his Master to do 
so, with Cap in Hand, an open Countenance and ruddy Lips, his Eyes 
steadfast and Look fixed on Gargantua, with a youthful Modesty stood 
up on his Feet, and began to commend and exalt him, first for his 
Virtue and good Manners, secondly for his Knowledge, thirdly for his 
Nobility, fourthly for his personal Beauty : and in the fifth place sweetly 
exhorted him to reverence his Father with every Observance, for that 
he took such Thought to have him well instructed ; lastly, he prayed 
him of his Goodness to retain him as the least of his Servants ; for other 
Favour desired he none of the Heavens at this present, save that Grace 
should be given him to be pleasing to Gargantua in some agreeable 

All this was delivered by him with Gestures so appropriate, 
Pronunciation so distinct, with a Voice so eloquent and Language so 
ornate, and in such good Latin, that he rather resembled a Gracchus, a 
Cicero, or an Emilius 8 of the passed Time than a Stripling of the 
present Age. 

But all the Countenance that Gargantua kept was that he took to 
crying like a Cow, and hid his Face in his Cap ; nor was it possible 
to get a Word from him more than a f — t from a dead Ass. 

At this his Father was so enraged that he wished to slay Master 
Jobelin. But the said Des Marays kept him from it by fair Persuasion 
which he made to him, in such wise that his Anger was moderated Then 
Grandgousier ordered that his Wages should be paid him and that he 
should be made to ply the Pot soundly like a Sophist ; 4 this done, that 
he should go to all the Devils. 

"At least," he said, "for this Day he shall not cost his Host much 
if perchance he should die as drunk as an Englishman." * 

* Emilias refers probably to M. Aemi- 
lius Lepidus called Porcina, mentioned 
in Cic Brut. 25, § 95, as a consummate 
orator and an instructor of T. Gracchus 
and C. Carbo. 

4 chopiner Sophisticqtument. The 
original reading was Thiologalenunt. 
H. Estienne in his Apologiepour Htrotbte 
comments on vin tJUolcgal as being the 
best and flowing freely, citing Horace's 

dapibus Saliaribus and Poniificum potion 



6 comnu un Anglais. The English, 
having many times occupied and ravaged 
France, naturally had not a good char- 
acter for sobriety with the people, on 
whom they were quartered and whom 
they pillaged. Confirmation of this may 
be found in Shakespeare's Henry V. iii 
2 and 6 ; iv. 4. . 

chap, rv GARGANTUA 61 

Master Jobelin having gone out of the House, Grandgousier con- 
sulted with the Viceroy what Preceptor they could give him, and it 
was agreed between them that Ponocrates, the Tutor of Eudemon, 
should be assigned to this Office, and they should all go together to 
Paris to learn what was the Study of the young Men of France at 
that time. 




How Gargantua was sent to Paris, and of the huge Mare that 
he rode on % and how she destroyed the Ox-JIies of la Beauce 

At this same Season Fayolles, fourth King of Numidia, sent from the 
Land of Africa to Grandgousier a Mare, the most enormous and huge 
that ever was seen, and the most monstrous ; as you know well enough 
that Africa always produces something new. 1 She was as large as six 
» piin. via. 4 a, Elephants, and had her Feet cloven into Toes like the a Horse of Julius 
Caesar, her Ears as slouching as the Goats 2 of Languedoc, and a little 
Horn on her Rump, 

Moreover, she was of a burnt-sorrel Hue with dapple-grey Spots ; but 
above all she had a horrible Tail, for it was (be the same more or less) 
as large as the Pillar of St Mars 8 near Langes, and as much squared 
with Plaits, neither more nor less worked in together, than Ears of Corn. 

If you wonder at this, wonder rather at the Tails of the Rams 4 of 
Scythia which weighed more than thirty Pounds, and of the Sheep of 
Syria, for which (if Tenauld 6 says true) men have to fasten a little Truck 
behind them to bear up their Tail, so long and heavy is it. You have 
none such, you Rustics of the low Countries. 6 

1 &jd ti Kauvby <f>4pei ij Ai/Strq is recorded records all this of the rams in Arabia, 

as proverbial by Aristotle, Hist. An. The gigantic tails of the Syrian rams are 

viii. 27, § 7 ; Gen. An. ii 7. Cf. Plin. also mentioned in Aristot. H.A. viii. 27. 
viii. 1 6, § 17 (42). • Tenauld. It is put forward with 

* Goats' ears. The pendent ears of the great probability by Des Marets that this 

Syrian goats are recorded in Arist H. An. refers to a Voyage et itineraire de outre- 

viii- 2 7» § 3* mer by lefrtrejehan Thenaud. 

9 St. Mars. The pillar is a square 6 paillards de plat pays. This is the 

monument 86 feet in height, on the banks title given to his soldiers by Loupgarou 

of the Loire, two miles from the town of (ii. 29). Rabelais probably uses the word 

St. Mars and not far from Langeais (M. ) paillards in the sense of rustics who sleep 

4 Rams' tails. Herodotus (iii. 1 13) on straw, from Lat palea. 

chap, xvi GARGANTUA 63 

And she was brought by Sea in three Caracks and a Brigantine, as 
far as the harbour of Olonne 7 in Thalmondais. When Grandgousier 
saw her he said : (< Ha ! here is just the Thing to carry my Son to 
Paris ! Ha ! Ferdy ! all will go well He will be a great Scholar in 
times to come. Were it not for the Dunces we should all live as 
Doctors." 8 

The next Day (after drinking, you understand) they set out on 
their way, Gargantua, his Tutor Ponocrates, and his People, and to- 
gether with them Eudemon the young Page ; and because the Weather 
was serene and temperate, his Father had made for him dun-coloured 
Boots ; Babin 9 calls them Buskins. 

So they joyously went along their Highway, and always in high 
Feather until just above Orleans, in which Place was a spacious Forest 
five-and-thirty Leagues long, and seventeen wide, or thereabouts. This 
Forest was horribly fertile and abounding in Gad-flies and Hornets, so 
that it was a very Brigand's Den for the poor Mares, Asses, and 

But Gargantua's Mare did handsomely avenge all the Outrages 
therein perpetrated on the Beasts of her Kind, by a Trick which they 
did not in the least suspect. For as soon as they had entered the said 
Forest and the Hornets had given the Assault, she drew out her Tail, 
and so well did she smouch them in skirmishing that she threw down 
the whole Wood along and athwart, this side and that side, here and 
there, longways and sideways, over and under, and knocked down the 
Trees as a Mower does Grass ; in such sort that since then there has 
been neither Wood nor Hornets, but the whole Land was reduced to a 

Seeing this, Gargantua took mighty great Pleasure thereat, with- 
out otherwise vaunting himself. And he said to his People : " I find 
This fine" (Beau ce). Whence this Country has since been called 
Beauce. But all they got for Breakfast was Yawning ; in Memory of 
which still to this Day the Gentlemen of Beauce do break their Fast 10 

7 Olonne is a port of Talmont, a prin- Et desjeuner tous les matins 
Cipality in PoitOU. Comme les escuien de Beauke. 

_ ^ , Coquillart, Monologue dct Ptrruques, 

8 Rabelais wittily transposes the pro- iL p. 289. 
verb st n'estoient messieurs les clercs nous 

vivrions comme bestes. Cest iin gentnhomme de Beauce 

Qui est an lit quand on refait ses rhanissrs 

• Babin is probably Phihbert Babou, Q( Pmtrbn FrmnfaU L ^ ^ 

seigneur de Givrai et du Softer. 

M The poverty of the province of Cf. also the 56th Novel of Des 

Beauce was proverbial in Rabelais' time : Periers. 



by Yawning, and find themselves well off therein and only spit the 
better for it 

At last they arrived at Paris, in which Place he refreshed himself two 
or three Days, making very merry with his Folk, and enquiring what 
learned Men there were then in the Town, and what Wine they drank 



How Gargantua paid his Welcome to the Parisians \ and how 
he took away the great Bells of the Church of Our Lady 

Some Days after that they had refreshed themselves, he paid a Visit to 
the City and was looked upon with great Admiration by everybody ; for 
the people of Paris are by Nature so silly, such Cockneys 1 and such 
Oafs, that a Mountebank, a Carrier of Indulgences, a Mule with its 
Bells, a Fiddler in the middle of Crossways will bring together more 
People than a good Preacher of the GospeL 

And so troublesome were they in pursuing him that he was con- 
strained to take his Rest on the Towers of the Church of Our Lady. 
And being at this Place, and seeing so many People round about him, 
he said in a clear Voice : 

" I believe these Chuffs wish that I should pay them here my Wel- 
come and my proficiat? There is good Reason therein. I am going 
to give them their Wine, but it shall be only in Sport n {par ris). 

Then smiling, he untied his fine Cod-piece, and drawing his Mentula 
forth into the air he bep— d them so bitterly that he drowned two 
hundred and sixty thousand four hundred and eighteen, besides Women 
and little Children. 

A certain Number of them escaped this P — s-flood by Fleetness 
of Foot. And when they were at the higher Part of the University, 
sweating, coughing, spitting and out of Breath, they began to curse and 
to swear, some in Anger and some in Sport (par ris), " Caritnari cart- 
mara / 8 By the Halidame, we are well washed parris. 19 

1 Cockneys, Fr. badauts (ii. 7, iv. 67), mediately after their instalment (Cot- 

from be*er t bader in the Orleans dialect, grave) ; i. 34, ii. 30. Also = pourfxnre. 
Du Cange says that some derive it from ' Carimari carimara is from PaUlin> 

Bagauda (R.) 1L 615, 616 : 

* proficiat, a fee or benevolence be- o»te* ce. gen. noirs I . . . Marmara 

Stowed on bishops by ecclesiastics im- Carimari carimara 





Wherefore the City hath since been called Paris, which before was 
styled Leucetia, as saith Strabo lib. iuj., A that is to say, speaking in Greek, 
Whitehall, because of the white Thighs of the Ladies of the said Place. 

And forasmuch as at this Imposition of a new Name, all the people 
present swore, each by the Saints of his Parish ; the Parisians (who are 
made up of all Kinds of People and all Sorts of Men) are by Nature 
good Jurors and good Jurists, and a little overbearing; wherefore 
Joaninus de Barranco 6 holds, libro de copiositate reverentiarum^ that they 
are called Parrhesians from the Greek, that is to say, bold in their 

This done, he considered the great Bells which were in the said 
Towers and made them ring very harmoniously. Whilst he was so 
doing, it came into his Thoughts that they would do well for Cow-bells 
to hang on the Neck of his Mare, which he wished to send back to his 
Father laden with Brie Cheeses 6 and fresh Herrings. Accordingly he 
carried them off to his Abode. 

Meantime there came a Knight Commander of Hams of the Order 
Saint Anthony, 7 to carry on his porkish Quest ; who, to make himself 
heard from a Distance, and to make the Bacon tremble in the Larder, 

being the cries uttered by Patelin in his 
pretended delirium. 

In ABC are found instead a number of 
confused exclamations and oaths. The 
passage runs thus: "Les plagues Bien, je 
renie Bien, frandienne vez tu ben, la 
merdl, po cab de bious, das dich Gots 
leyden schend, pote de Christo, ventre 
saint Quenet, vertus guoy, par saint 
Fiacre de Brye, saint Treignant, je foy 
veu a saint Thibaud, pasques Dieu % le bon 
tour DieUy le diable nCemport^foyde Gentil- 
Aomme, par saint Andouille ; par saint 
Guodegrin qui fat martyrise" de pommes 
cuytes, par saint Foutin, Papostre, par 
saint Vit . . ." 

It seems worth remarking that the four 
expressions in italics are the historic 
adjurations of the four French kings, 
Louis XL, Charles VIII. , Louis XII. 
and Francis I. (M.) 

4 In Strabo (iv. 3, § 194) Paris is called 
Lucotokia (ireni ft rb» XrjKodvap irora/i6r 
chi koX ol Uaplvioi, vrpov tx 0PT€t *<** ""oXi* 
AovkotokLow). In Julian's Muroirdryw it 
bears the name Lucetia, and in a bad MS. 
Leucetia ; but it does not seem improbable 

that Rabelais' copy of Strabo may have 
had a faulty reading and so justified his 

* Joaninus de Barranco is probably a 
name invented, like Bragmardo, to re- 
semble a logical term. The reference 
may be to the Philippide of Guillaume 
le Breton, who says of the Parisians : 

Finibns egressi patriis per Gallica run 
Sedem quaerebant ponendis moenibus aptam, 
Et ae Parrhisios dixerunt nomine Graeco, 
Quod sonat expositum nostra audada verbis. 


6 Brie cheeses were known to Davenant 
in his Wits, Act vi., as "your angelots 
of Brie." Dodsley (viii. 408) quotes 
Skinner to this effect (Regis). 

7 Fr. Commandeur jambonnur. Cf. 
Dante, Par. xxix. 124 : 

Di questo ingrassa il porco Sant' Antonio. 

On this subject there is a good allusion 
in the 20th story of the Conies cTEutrapeli 
" II n'y a andouille a la cheminee, ne jam- 
bon au charnier, qui ne tremble a la 
simple pronontiation et voix d'un petit 
et harmonieux Ave Maria." . 




wished to carry them off by Stealth. But he left them behind from a 
feeling of Honesty, not because they were too hot, but because they 
were somewhat too heavy for him to carry. 8 This was not he of Bourg, 9 
for he is too good a Friend of mine. 

All the City was moved and in Uproar, as you know that for this they 
are so ready, 10 that foreign Nations do marvel at the Patience * of the 
Kings of France, who do not by strict Justice rein them in from such 
Courses, seeing the Inconveniences that proceed therefrom from day to 
day. Would to God I knew the Shop in which are forged these Divisions 
and factious Combinations, that I might bring them to Light in the 
Meetings of my Parish! Be assured that the Place, at which were 
assembled the People all befooled and befouled, 11 was Nesle, 12 1 where 
was, but now is no more, the Oracle of Leucetia. There the Matter 
was proposed and the Inconvenience set forth of carrying away the Bells. 

After having thoroughly ergoed pro and contra^ it was concluded in 
Baralipton 13 that they should send the oldest and most competent of 
the Faculty! to Gargantua to point out to him the horrible Inconvenience 
caused by the Loss of the said 'Bells. And notwithstanding the Remon- 
strance of certain Members of the University, who declared that this 
Duty was more suited to an Orator than a Sophist,§ there was chosen 
for this Business our Master Janotus de Bragmardo. 14 

* De la patience ou pour mieuz dire de la stupiditi dee Reys de France, A. 
t Nesle, D ; Sorbonne, A. X La FacuUi, D ; la Faculti ThiologaU, ABC 

• Sopkute, D ; ThiologUn, ABC. 

8 This seems to be an idea borrowed 
from Lucian (Deor. dial, vii. 3), where 
Apollo tells how the new-born Hermes 
stole Zeus's sceptre, and would have 
stolen the thunder-bolt had it not been 
too hot and too heavy, (i. 27, iv. 14.) 

9 He of Bourg. Probably Antoine du 
Saix, Commander of Bourg in Bresse. 
This is an adroit stroke of Rabelais to 
put himself under the protection of a 
powerful patron at the time when he is 
aiming a shaft at a religious order. 

10 The fickle, inquisitive, and turbulent 
nature of the Gauls is well pointed out by 
Caesar. Bell. Gall. iv. 5. 

^Yt.folfriethabelini. It is difficult to 
say exactly what is meant by these words. 

u V hostel de Nesle was'on the site now 
occupied by the Mint in Paris. The 
earliest reading was Soroonne, which was 
altered later for obvious reasons. The 
Oracle of Leucetia means the pillars of Isis, 
the protecting goddess of Paris, which in 
1 514 were in the Church of St. Germain 

u Baralipton is the barbarous designa- 
tion of a syllogism in the well-known 
memoria technica 

BxrbATA cElArsnt dArti fsrio bxrAlipton. 

14 Bragmardo is a name coined from 
Bracquemart, a cutlass, and made to re- 
semble a designation of a syllogism like 
Baralipton above. 



How Janotus de Bragmardo was sent to recover the great 

Bells from Gargantua 

Master Janotus, with his Hair cut in the Caesarian * fashion, clad 
with his Liripipion 2 * in the ancient manner, and his Stomach well 
antidoted with bakehouse Condiments and Holy Water from the Cellar, 
betook himself to the Lodging of Gargantua, driving before him three 
red-muzzled Calves of Bedels, and dragging after him five or six artless 
Masters, thoroughly 8 bedraggled with Mire. 

At their Entry Ponocrates met them and was afraid, seeing them 
thus disguised, and thought they were some Maskers out of their Wits ; 
then he enquired of one of the said artless Masters in the Company, 
what was the Meaning of this Mummery. It was answered him that 
they desired their Bells to be restored to them. 

Immediately that he heard this, Ponocrates ran to tell the News to 
Gargantua, so that he might be ready with his Answer and determine at 
once what he had to do. Gargantua being advised of the matter, called 
aside Ponocrates his Preceptor, Philotimus his Steward, Gymnast his 
Esquire, and Eudemon, and summarily conferred with them on what he 
was to do as well as to answer. 

They were all of Opinion that they should be taken to the Buttery 4 
and there made to drink like Roysterers;t and in order that this Cougher 

* liripipum 4 V antique, D ; /. thlologcd, ABC. t rustrtmtnt, D ; tkiologaUmtnt, ABC 

1 Caesarian, i.e. after the manner of the caputia cum liripipiis" {Epist. Obs, Vir, 

Roman emperors, cropped short (cf. Suet i. 2). 

i. 45). Perhaps there may be an allusion * a profit de menage = soundly, 

to Serv. ad Aen. i. 590 : "A caedendo thoroughly (Cotgrave) ; so as to lose no 

dicta caesaries." mire that they picked up. 

1 Liripipion, according to Du Cange, is 4 an retraict du Guobelet = to the 

properly the pigtail to a hood. " Magna Buttery (Cotgrave). 

chap, xviii GARGANTUA 69 

might not be puffed up with Vainglory, because the Bells had been 
given up at his Request, while he was boozing they sent for the Provost 
of the City, the Rector of the Faculty and the Vicar of the Church, to 
whom they would deliver up the Bells before the Sophister \ had set 
forth his Commission. After that, in the Presence of these they would 
hear his fine Harangue. This was done; and the aforesaid Persons 
having arrived, the Sophister was introduced in the Hall, where they 
"were in full Assembly, and began as follows, coughing : 

t SofikixU, D ; ThUbgU** ABC. 


The Harangue of Master Janotus de Bragmardo made to 
Gargantuafor the Recovery of the Bells 

Ahem, hem, hem, 1 gudday, 3 Sir, gudday, and to you, my Masters. It 
could not be but good that you should give us back our Bells, for we 
have sore Need of them. Hem, hem, hasch. We have oftentimes 
heretofore refused good Money for them from those of London 8 in 
Cahors, yea and from those of Bordeaux in Brie, who would have 
bought them for the substantific Quality of the elementary Complexion 
which is intronificated in the Terrestreity of their quidditative Nature, 
\ to extraneise the Hail-storms and Whirlwinds from our Vines, not 
[ indeed ours, but those hard by. For if we lose the Drink we lose 
everything, Sense and Law. 

If you restore them to us at my Request, I shall gain thereby ten Links 
of Sausages and a fine Pair of Breeches, which will do great good to my 
Legs— or else they will not keep their Promise to me. Ho, ho, Gad ! 
Domine, a Pair of Breeches is good et vir sapiens non abhorrebit earn. 
Ha, ha, 'tis not every one who wishes has a Pair of Breeches : I know 
it well of myself. Consider, Domine y I have been these eighteen 
Marc. xii. i 7 . Days metagrabolising this fine Harangue : a Redditc quae sunt Caesaris 
Caesari et quae sunt Dei Deo. Aijacet lepus.* 

By my Faith, Domine 9 if you will sup with me in camera, Copsbody, 

1 Ahem, etc. This is intended as a 
burlesque on the style of the preachers oi 
the day, especially of Olivier Maillard, 
who marked in his sermons the points 
where the preacher was to cough. 

9 Fr. mna dies, corrupt pronunciation 
of bona dies. 

* There is a small London near Mar- 

mande (Lot-et- Garonne), and a Bordeaux 
near Ville - Parisis (Seine - et - Maine) 

4 Ibijacet lepus= Cy gist U /ihtre, from 
which comes the English word gist. I 
suppose it must allude to the difficulty of 
seeing a hare in her form. The phrase is 
from the logic of the Schoolmen. 




charitatis nosfaciemus bonum eherubin* Ego occidi unum porcum et ego 
habct bonum vino. But of good Wine we cannot make bad Latin. 

Well now, de parte Dei date nobis Clochas nostras. Hold, I give you 
in the Name of the Faculty a Sermones de Utino? that utinam you 
would give us our Bells. Vultis etiam Pardonos? Per diem vos 
habebitis et nihil payabitis. 

O Sir, Domine y clochidonaminor nobis. Verily, est bonum urbis. 
Every one uses them. If they fit your Mare well, so they do our 
Faculty, quae comparata est jumentis insipientibus et similis facta est eis. 
h Psalmo nescio quo ; and yet I quoted it well in my Note-book et est b p*. xiviiL ax. 
unum bonum Achilles! 1 Hem, hem, ahem, hasch. 

See here, I prove to you that you ought to give me them. Ego sic 
argumentor: Omnis clocha clochabilis in clocherio clochando, clochans 
clochatrvo clochare facit clochabiliter clochantes. Parisius habct clochas. 
•Ergo glue* 

Ha, ha, ha, 'tis well put, that ! It is in tertio primae, 9 in Darii y or 
elsewhere. By my Soul, I have seen the Time when I could play the 
Devil in arguing, but for the present I do nothing but dote. And 
henceforward I want nothing but good Wine, a good Bed, my Back to 
the Fire, my Belly to the Table, and a good deep Dish. 

Jleij Dominey I beseech you, in nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus 
Sanctis Amen, to restore us our Bells, and God keep you from Harm 
and our Lady from Health, 10 qui vivit et regnat per omnia saecula 
saeculorum. Amen. Hem, hasch, ehasch, grrenhen, hasch. 

Verum enim vero, quando quidem, dubio procul, edepol y quoniam y ita 
certe y me Deusfidius y a City without Bells is like a blind Man without a 
Stick, an Ass without a Crupper, and a Cow without Cymbals. Until 
you have restored them to us we will not cease to cry after you like a 
blind Man who has lost his Stick, to bray after you like an Ass without 
a Crupper, and to bellow after you like a Cow without Cymbals. 

A certain Latiniser dwelling near the Hospital said once, quoting 

* bonum cherubin. Instead of good 
"cheer" he says "cherubin," referring 
to their ruddy faces. 

• There were then in vogue Sermones 
aurei Fr. Leonardi de Utino, a Dominican 
friar of Udine. This enables Rabelais to 
perpetrate the pun on utinam. 

7 Achilles, i.e. an unanswerable argu- 
ment. This expression refers to the well- 
known Eleatic puzzle of Achilles and the 

8 Ergo glut) an ancient formula to ex- 
press a conclusion that concluded nothing. 

• In the third mood of the first figure 
of syllogisms, according to the memoria 

BArbxrA cslATEnt dAni fsrioque prions, etc., 

or feno bATAlipcon. 

10 Fr. Dieu vous garde de malet Nostre 
Dame de santi. A double interpretation 
is evidently intended here. 




the Authority of one Taponnus — I lie, it was Pontanus, 11 a secular 
Poet ia — who wished they were made of Feathers and the Clapper of a 
Fox-tail, because they engendered the Meagrims in the Bowels of his 
Brain when he was composing his Carminiform Lines. But 

Nac petetin petetac, 
Tique, torch* lcrgne 9 u 

he was declared a Heretic We make them as of Wax. 14 And further 
the Deponent saith not. Valete et plaudite. Calepinus rccensui?* 

u John Jovian Pontanus had forged a 
Latin bill of sale and a will, which in 
1532 Rabelais had taken for genuine and 
published as such. Tapon means a bung. 

u a secular poet. All writers who were 
not Catholics — Virgil, Cicero, Homer, etc., 
included — were called secular poets (Epist. 
06s. Vir.) 

u torch*, lorgne, occur in Coquillart's 
B/ason, and mean haphazard striking. 

14 as of wax {fire and cuir or cuwre). 
This may be referred to bells, but un- 

doubtedly alludes to the burning of 

u The three endings are (1) that of 
depositions, (2) that of Latin Comedies, 
and (3) that of a copyist at the end of a 

Calepinus, an Italian Augustinian 
(1435-151 1), who wrote a polyglot diction- 
ary which was in vogue in Rabelais' time. 
Calepin is now used in French for a 
note -book. There was also the verb 


How the Sophist * carried off his Cloth, and haw he had a 
Suit at Law against the other Masters t 

The Sophist had no sooner finished, than Ponocrates and Eudemon 
burst out laughing so heartily that they nearly gave up the Ghost ; 
neither more nor less than Crassus * did, on seeing a Jackass eating 
Thistles, and as Philemon, 2 on seeing an Ass eat some Figs which had 
been prepared for his Dinner, died by dint of Laughing. 

Together with them began Master Janotus to laugh his very best, so 
that the Tears came into their Eyes from the vehement Concussion of 
the Substance of the Brain, from which were expressed these lachrymal 
Humidities and flowed down along the optic Nerves; wherein was 
represented by them Democritus Heraclitising and Heraclitus 

This Laughter being quite appeased, Gargantua consulted with his 
People what was to be done hereupon. There Ponocrates was of 
Opinion that they should make this fine Orator drink again ; and, seeing 
that he had given them Amusement and made them laugh more than 
ever did Songe-creux, 8 that they should give him the ten Links of 

• Sofikttte, D ; ThiohgUn, ABC 
t Ltt aultret maStres, D ; Us Sorbcnistts, ABC 

1 Crassus, the grandfather of the Maistre Albert Songecreux bisscain, by 
triumvir, is called dytfWrof after Lurilius Jehan de l'Espine du Pontalais. The 
by Cicero, Pliny and Macrobius, bat the same Pontalais was also author of Cat- 
present reference is from Jerome, Epist tredicts de Songecreux. Cf. Apohgie 
to Chromatins, Jovinus and Eusebius, pour Htrodote, c. 39, ed. Lisenx, vol. ii. 
i. p. 340 (Migne) : "Secundum illud p. 360 n., where he corrects his note in 
quoque de quo semel in vita Crassum ait vol. i. p. 10, which attributes these works 
risisse LucUius: 'similem habent labra to Gringore. 
lactncam asino carduos comedente.' " Pontalais, known under the name of 

* PkiUmen, This incident is recorded Songe-creux, was a player of farces, 
also L 10 and iv. 17. moralities, etc, before Francis I. He is 

* Songs • creux. Premstication de mentioned by Des Periers (Not. 30 j ct 


Sausages mentioned in his merry Harangue, with a pair of Breeches, 
three hundred regulation Billets of Wood, five-and-twenty Hogsheads 
of Wine, and a Bed with three Courses * of Goose-down, and a Dish 
mighty capacious and deep ; all which things, he said, were necessary for 
his Old age. 

All this was done as had been determined, except that Gargantua, 
doubting that they could not at once find Breeches that would suit his 
Legs ; doubting also what Fashion of them would be most convenient 
for the said Orator, 6 [whether the Martingale Fashion, which is a 
Drawbridge, for his greater Ease ; or the Mariner Fashion, for the 
greater Solace of his Kidneys ; or the Swiss fashion, which keeps warm 
the Belly-tabret; 6 or the Cod's-tail fashion, to prevent overheating his 
Reins], caused to be given to him seven Ells of black Cloth, and three 
of white for the Lining. The Wood was carried by the Porters ; the 
Masters of Arts carried the Sausages and the Dish ; Master Janotus 
himself would carry the Cloth. 

One of the said Masters, named Master Jousse Bandouille, pointed 
out to him that this was neither seemly nor decent for one of his Degree, 
and that he should deliver it to one of them. 

"Ha!" said Janotus, "Blockhead, Blockhead, thou dost not 
conclude in tnodo etjigura. See whereto serve the Suppositions and 
Parva logicalia? Pannuspro quo supponit ? " 

" Confust," said Bandouille, " et distributive 

" I ask thee not, Blockhead," said Janotus, " quomodo supponit but 
pro quo f It is, Blockhead, pro tibiis tneis. And therefore I will carry 
it egomety sicut suppositum portat appositum" 8 

And so he did carry it off stealthily, 9 as Patelin did his Cloth. 

The best Part of it was when this Cougher, in full Assembly 10 held 
at the Mathurins, confidently demanded his Breeches and Sausages. 

Lacour's note), Marot and Regnier. Cf. text-book in logic. Cf. Mullinger, Hist. 

"Dixain anonyme" at the beginning Univ. Camb. i. p. 35a 

of the Second Book of Pantagruel. 8 sicut suppositum, etc., in jurists' 

4 lict a triple coucke. In the text is language = sicut principalc portat access- 

given Cotgrave's rendering. orium (Regis). 

8 The part between brackets was added * stealthily. Fr. en tapinois. 

in the editions after 1535. -, .. , . , . ^. . 

Dcsif il s en vint en uiptnois 

• Fr. dedondaine, the lower part of the A-tout mon drap soub* son aisselle. 

Stomach. Patelin, 837, 838. 

7 Parva Logicalia y a portion of the 

Summulae of Petrus Hispanus (sub: 10 ABC, en plein acte de Sorbom. It 

sequently Pope John XXI. ) treating of was the custom of the University of Paris 

the ambiguities attaching to the use of to assemble in the temple of the 

words. The Summulae was the universal Mathurins to hear the rector harangue. 

chap, xx GARGANTUA 75 

For they were peremptorily refused him on the ground that he had 
them of Gargantua, according to the Informations given thereupon. He 
pointed out to them that this had been gratis and out of his Liberality ; 
by which they were not in any way absolved from their Promises. 

This notwithstanding, it was answered that he should be content 
with Reason, and that no other Scrap should he get therefrom. 

" Reason ! " said Janotus ; " we use none of that here ; wretched 
Traitors, you are good for nothing ; the Earth doth not bear more 
wicked Folk than you are; I know it well. Do not hobble in the 
Presence of Cripples ; I have practised Villainy with you. 'Ods Spleen ! 
I will inform the King of the enormous Abuses that are forged here, and 
by your Hands, and carried out. May I turn Leper, if he do not have 
you all burnt up alive as Bougres, Traitors, Heretics, and Seducers, 
Enemies of God and of Virtue." 

At these Words, they framed Articles against him ; he on the other 
Side cited them to appear. The End of it was that the Suit was 
retained by the Court, and is there still. On this Point the Masters % 
made a Vow u never to cleanse themselves ; and Master Janotus with 
his Adherents made a vow never to blow their Noses until Judgment 
should be given on this by definitive Sentence. 

Bound by these Vows, they have to this day remained dirty and 
rheumy ; for the Court has not yet fully examined all the Proceedings. 
The Sentence will be given at the next Greek Calends, 12 that is to say, 
never. For you know that they do more than Nature doth, and act 
contrary to their own Articles. The Articles of Paris proclaim that God 
alone can do Things that are infinite. Nature produceth nothing that 
is immortal, for she putteth an End and Period to all Things produced 
by her, seeing that omnia orta cadunt, etc. 18 

But these Swallowers of Fog make the Suits pending before them 
both infinite and immortal ; and in so doing they have given Occasion 
to and verified the Saying of Chilon the Lacedaemonian, consecrated 
at Delphi, that Misery is the Companion of Law-suits, 14 and that 
Suitors are miserable, for that they sooner come to the End of their 
Lives than to the Rights they put forward. 

X Let Magistres t D ; Let Sorbonicolts, ABC. 

u made a vow, etc. This is a parody u " Omniaque orta cadunt atque aocta 

of the vow of the Argives never to wear senescunt " (Sail. Bell. Jug. 2, § 3). 
their hair long again till they had regained u " Chiloni Lacedaemonio praecepta 

Thyrea. Herod, i. 82. ... Delphis consecrando aureis litteris, 

u " cum numquam soluturos significare . . . comitem aeris alieni atque litis esse 

vnlt, adKal. Graecas soluturos ait " (Suet, miseriam " (Plin. NM. vii. 32). 




The Study and Manner of Life of Gargantua according to 
the Discipline of his Sophistical* Preceptors 

The first Days being thus spent and the Bells put up again in their 
Place, the Citizens of Paris in Acknowledgment of this Courtesy, offered 
to maintain and feed his Mare as long as he should please. This 
Gargantua took in good Part, and they sent her to live in the Forest of 
Bifere. 1 I believe she is not there any longer now. 

This done, he wished with all his Heart to study at the Discretion of 

/ Ponocrates. But he, for the Beginning, ordered that he should go on 

in his accustomed Manner, in order to understand by what Means, in 

so long a Time, his former Preceptors had made him so foolish, simple 

and ignorant. 

Accordingly he arranged his Time in such Fashion that ordinarily he 
awaked between eight and nine of the Clock, whether it was Daylight 
or not ; for so had his former Governors t ordered, citing that which 
• Pi. cxxvii. a. David saith : a Vanum est vobis ante lucem surgere. 

Then he did tumble and toss, stretch his Legs, and wallow in the 
Bed some time, the better to stir his animal Spirits ; and apparelled him- 

* Sofikittts, D ; Sorbonagru, ABC 
t Rcgtnx antiquts t D ; Rtgttu tkfoUgicquts, ABC 

1 Biire. It is a question whether this is supported by the allusions to the 

means the forest of Bierre or Biere (Lat. frequent walks taken by Gargantua and 

foresta de Bierria) or the forest of Fon- Pantagruel along the banks of this 

tainebleau. M. des Marets suggests that river (cf. L 24 ; ii. 15, 22), and also 

originally they were one forest Johan- by an inscription on a copper plate 

neau has a long and somewhat interesting discovered at Gentilly by Esmangart, 

note to prove that the place alluded to is running thus : 

Gentilly, which is close to the river _ m „ _ . , _ . _ ^ T . 

t>.» , - , , , . , DAns Ce pourPns le grAnd Fr&Ncots premier 

.Biere, and that by the grande jununt TreVuetou*JourajouiSs»ncenoUele 

is meant Diane de Poitiers, the mis- Q Vil eSt hevReVx Ce li£u aoVef reCele 

tress of Francis I. (Gargantua). This FlEurDebeaUlteDiAnedePoicTier. 




self according to the Season; but he did willingly wear a great long Gown 
of coarse Frieze furred with Fox-skins ; afterwards he combed himself 
with a Comb in the Almain 2 Fashion, which is with his Thumb and 
four Fingers, for his Preceptors said that to comb himself in any other 
Way, to wash or make himself clean, was to lose Time in this World ••* 

Then he . . . ., . . . ., . . . ., , . . . ., yawned, spat, 

coughed, hawked, sneezed, blew his Nose like an Archdeacon ; 8 and 
breakfasted, so as to abate the Effect of the Dew and the Bad Air, on 
good fried Tripes, fair Rashers on the Coals, fine Hams, good Ragout 
of Game, and a Store of Soup of Prime. 4 

Ponocrates pointed out to him that he ought not to eat so im- 
mediately after leaving his Bed, without having previously taken some 

Gargantua answered : " What ! have I not taken sufficient Exercise ? 
I have rolled myself round six or seven Times in my Bed before I rose. 
Is not that enough ? The Pope Alexander 6 did use to do so by the 
advice of his Jew Physician and lived till his Death in spite of his 
Detractors. My first Masters have thereto accustomed me, saying that 
to break one's Fast caused a good Memory; therefore they drank 
thereat first I find myself very well for it and only dine the better 

"Also Master Tubal told me (he was first as a Licentiate at Paris) 
that it is not every Advantage to run apace, but to set forth betimes. 
So the Sum-total of the Health of our Humanity is not to drink switter- 
swatter like Ducks, but rather to drink early in the Morning; Unde versus : 

To rise betimes doth not give Rest ; 
To drink betimes is far the Best" • 

After having breakfasted right well, he went to Church, and they 
carried for him in a great Basket, a huge Breviary enslippered 7 in its 
Case, weighing, what with Grease, Clasps and Parchment-cover, little 

3 Almoin. This is doubtful. It may 
mean a la main or a I'Allemande, or 
may contain an allusion to Jacques 
Almain, doctor of the University of Paris. 

* Archdeacon, as richer and more self- 
indulgent than ordinary Churchmen. 

4 soup* de Prime f soup or brewis of the 
first monastical hour (iii. 15). " Cheese 
and bread put into pottage ; or chopped 
Parseley strewed or layed together with 
the fat of the Beefe-pot, on the bread " 

8 Alexander V. t whose physician was 
the Jew, Marsilius of Parma. 

6 A parody of the verses of Pierre 
Grosnet : 

Lever matin n'est point bon hew 
/ Mais venir a point est meUleur ) 
v Boyre matin est le meilleur. > 

7 Fr. empantojU. Duchat explains it 
as having the authorisation of the Pope, 
sealed with the impress, as it were, of 
his slipper, quoting pantofla decrctorum, 
u. 7. 



more or less than eleven Quintals six Pounds. There he heard twenty- 
six or thirty Masses. Meantime came his Matins-mumbler to his Place, 
muffled and crested like a Hoopoe, and with his Breath well antidoted 
with a Store of Vine-tree Syrup ; with him Gargantua mumbled all his 
Kyrielles (Litanies), and so curiously did he pick them over, that not a 
single Grain (bead) thereof fell to the Earth. 

As he came from Church, they brought him on an Ox-wain a Pile 
of Paternosters of Saint Claude, 8 each one as big as is a Hat-block ; 9 
and as he walked through the Cloisters, Galleries or Garden he said 
more of them than sixteen Hermits. 

Then he studied some miserable Half-hour, with his Eyes fixed on 
his Book ; but as the Comic poet says, his Soul was in the Kitchen. 10 

Then voiding a full Official, 11 he sat down to Table ; and because he 
was naturally phlegmatic, he began his Repast by some dozens of Hams, 
smoked Neats' tongues, Botargoes, Sausages and other Vaunt-couriers 
of Wine. 


Meantime four of his People threw into his Mouth, one after another 
continuously, Mustard by the Bucketful; then he drank a horrific 
Draught of white Wine to relieve his Kidneys. After that, he ate, 
according to the Season, Meats agreeable to his Appetite, and then left 
off eating when his Belly was blown up. 

For drinking he had neither End nor Rule ; for he used to say that 
the Goals 12 and Bounds of drinking were when, as the Man drank, the 
Cork-sole of his Slippers swelled ls to the Height of half-a-FooL 

8 Saint Claude, a town in Franche- n official is used in the earlier editions 
Comt£ where was and is a considerable for a more offensive word. It is also used 
trade in beads, etc in the same sense, i. 9, q.v. 

9 moulle d'un bonnet, i.e. a head. u goals. Fr. metes, Lat meta. 

» Jamdudum animus est in patinis. U swelled, U. by the wine that exuded 

Ter. Eun. 8x6. from his pores into his slippers. 



Tfie Games of Gargantua 1 

Then lumpishly mumbling over a Scrap of a Grace, he washed his 
Hands in fresh Wine, picked his Teeth with a Pig's foot and discoursed 
merrily with his People. 

Then the green Cloth being spread, they displayed a store of Cards, 

a number of Dice, and an abundance of Chess-boards. There he 
played at : 

Flusse Beggar my Neighbour 

Primero Odd Man out 

Palm The turned Card 

Robber Take Miss 

Triumph Here 

Prick and spare not Lansquenet 

The Hundred Cuckow 

The Spinet Let him speak that hath it 

Poor Moll Teetotum * 

The Fib Marriage 

Pass ten I have it 

Trente et quarante Opinion 

Pair and Sequence Who doth one doth the other 

Three hundred Sequences 

1 It seems hardly possible to find a Teetotum (cf. ii. n). Fr. pille y node, 

meanings or give equivalents for the long jocque,fore. These words, or their initial 

list of games given here. Names have letters P'N'I'F, mark the four sides of a 

been found as near as could be from notes teetotum. Pigliar (Ital.) = to take, 

that were accessible, mostly taken from Nada (Span.) = Nothing. Jocque (Ital.) 

Duchat, Esmangart, and Cotgrave, to = Giuoco= Game. Fore {Ital.) = Fuora, 

whom Urquhart seems principally in- i.e. All over. Another way of marking the 

debted. A few notes have been given teetotum is A. (Lat. au/er), T. (fotum), 

on some points of interest. N. {nihil), D. (depone). 






Loser wins 








Fox and Geese 



Blank draw 


Three Dice 



Lurch 8 

Queen's Game 



Long Tables 

Fell down 

Hang it all 

Needs must 


Mop and mow 

Primus Secundus * 

Mark-knife 6 

The Keys 


Odd or Even 

Heads or Tails 


Toss-pin 6 



The Owl 

Coddling the Hare 

Yet one Tug 

Trudge-pig 7 


The Horn 

The shrove-tide Ox 

The Madge-owlet 



Unshoeing the Ass 

The Cocksess (Urq.) 

I spy, hie ! 

I sit down 

Gold-beard 8 


Draw the Spit 

Put out 

* Lurch. Cf. CoriolanuSy ii. 2, 105 
(99)> Wright's note. 

4 Primus secundus, a game of school- 
boys trying by turning the leaves first to 
light upon something concealed in a 
book (cf. ii 18). "Primo, secundo, 
tertio, is a good play" {Twelfth Night, 

i. if 39). 

8 Mark-knife. A knife being stuck in 

the table, coins or counters were sped 

along to see which came nearest. 

• Fr. pingres. This seems most 
probably to have been a game played by 
girls, who used pins or needles to toss with 
instead of coins or bones, etc Cf iv. 14. 
It must be connected with Spingle or Ipine. 

7 Fr. cockonnet va devant means 
kicking a particular stone before one. 
Montaigne says (iii. 13 ad fin.) that 
Scipio used to play at " Comichon va 
devant le long de la marine avec 

8 Fr. La barbe doribus. ' Duchat 
makes this a game at blindman's-buff, at 
which the chin of the blinded one is 
"gilded," i.e. smeared with filth. Poudre 
doribus is that which Rabelais calls (ii 
30) diamerdis ; and in ii 22, referring to 
Matthieu Ory, an Inquisitor, he calls him 
noire maitre Doribus, intending clearly 
to be most uncomplimentary. C£ also ii. 




Gossip, lend me your Sack 

Ramscod Ball 

Thrust out 

Marseilles Figs 

At the Fly 9 

Bowman Shot 

Flay the Fox 

Pick me up 


Oat -selling 

Blow the Coal 


Quick and dead Judge 

Unoven the Iron 

The false Clown 


The hunchback Courtier 

The Finding of the Saint 


Pear-tree 10 

Queen o' the May 

The Breton Jig u 

The Whirligig 

The Sow 

Belly to Belly 




I'm in it 

Fouquet u 


The return Course {Cot.) 

Flat Bowl 


Pick-a-back to Rome 


Sly Jack 

Short Bowls 


Dogs' ears 

Smash Crock 

My Desire 


Rush bundles 

Short Staff 

The flying Dart 

Are you all hid ? 

Spur away 


Hunt about 

The iron Mask 


All in a Row 

The cherry Pit 

The Humming-top 

The Whip-top 

The Peg-top 

The Hobgoblin 1 * 

Scared face w 


Fast and loose (Cot) 


9 At the Fly (Fr. a la mouscAe, prob- 
ably =s pvbSa Talfrw, uuia x<A*i)> Poll 9, 
no), a game like blindman's-buff. Cf. 
also Erasm. Empusae Indus. Cf. iii. 4a 

10 Fr. Poirier. Probably the same as 
poiricr fourchuy tarbre fourchu and chhu 
fourchU) standing on one's head. 

u Fr. trihori, a well-known Breton 
dance, from rpxAptor. Cf. iv. ProL and 38, 
and Conies cPEutrapel, c. 19 (i p. 264). 

M Fouquet (Lat Focus). At this game 

one nostril was plugged with tow, the 
other end of which hung down and was 
set alight The fire had to be extin- 
guished by blowing with the other nostril, 
ii. 12, iv. New Prol. 

u au Tenebry. Au Toimebri in 
Poisies ItUdites, x. 223. 

14 "Et pouvez croire . . . que M. 
vostre pere et MM. vos oncles jouerent 
tout un temps & tesbahi" — Sat. Mhtip. 
xii. (Har. de M. <? Aubrey). 






St Come, I come to worship 

The brown Beetle 

I catch you napping 15 

Fair and gay goes Lent away w 

The forked Oak 


The Wolfs Tail 

Nose in Breech 

William, give me my Lance 


Shocks of Corn 

The small Bowl 

Fly away, Jack 

Tit, tat, toe, my first go 

A propos 

Nine Hands 


The fallen Bridges 

Bridled Nick 

The Bull's Eye 17 


Blindman's Buff 


Frogs and Toads 

Cricket 18 

Pestle and Mortar 

Cup and Ball 

The Queens 

The Trades 

Heads and Points 

Dot and go one 

Wicked Death 


Lady, I wash your Cap 

The boulting Cloth 


Greedy Glutton 




Butting Rams 


Hind the Ploughman 

The dead Beast 

Climb the Ladder w 

The dead Pig 

The salt Doup 

The Pigeon has flown 

Barley-break (Cotg.) 


The bush Jump 


Hide and seek 

Coin in the Tail-pocket 

The Hawk's Nest 

Hark forward 


Gunshot Crack 


Out of School 

The Relapse 

The feathered Dart 

Duck your Head 


Slash and cut 

Flirts on the Nose 



u je vous prends sans vera\ i.e. catch 
you without a piece of green {e.g. on oak- 
apple day). Cf. iii. II. 

u Hen et beau s 9 en va Quaresme ; iv. 
ProL This game is mentioned by Charles 
d'Orleans, Rondeau 206. 

17 Fr. la crolle. Cf. iv. 52. 

18 Urquhart is here followed in trans- 
lating la crosse cricket In this game it 
seems that a ball was bowled and hit 
away with a curved club. 

u monte monte VEschellctte. Monte 
Feschellette in Poesies Inidites, x. p. 223 ; 
ed. de Montaiglon. 




After having well played, and littered and frittered and sifted away his 
Time it seemed fitting to drink some little : it was eleven Quarts *° a 
head ; and immediately after to bench it, that is, on a fair Bench or a 
good large Bed, to stretch himself and sleep for two or three Hours 
without thinking ill or speaking ill After he was awakened, he would 
shake his Ears a little ; meantime they brought him fresh Wine ; there- 
upon he drank better than ever. 

Ponocrates pointed out to him that it was an ill Diet to drink thus 
after sleeping. 

"It is," answered Gargantua, "the true Life of the Fathers. 21 For 
naturally I do sleep salt, and sleeping has been worth so much Ham." 

Then he began to study some little, and Paternosters were to the 
Front ; in order the better to despatch them in Form, he got upon an 
old Mule which had served nine Kings ; and so, mumbling with his 
Mouth and doddling with his Head, he went to see some Coneys taken 
with Nets. 

On his Return he betook himself into the Kitchen, to know what roast 
Meat was on the Spit 

And he supped very well, on my Conscience, and did willingly 
invite some Topers from among his Neighbours, with whom carousing 
merrily, they told Stories of all Sorts from the old to the new. 

Among others, he had for his Servants the Lords of Fou, of 
Gourville, 2 * of Grignault and Marigny. 

After Supper, were brought in the fair wooden Gospels, 28 that is to 
say many Chess or Backgammon Boards, also the fair Flusse, " One, two, 
three w ; or Primero, 24 to kill Time; or else they went to see the Wenches 
thereabouts, and had small Banquets among them, Collations and 
After-collations. Then he would sleep without unbridling till eight 
o'Ciock the next Morning. 

90 Quarts, Fr. peguadt, according to 
Duchat, a wine-pot (pegat in Gascon), from 
Lat. puatum, holding more than a Paris 

a Life of the Fathers, an allusion to the 
42d chapter of the rule of St. Benedict : 
" Mox ut surrexerint a cena sedeant omnes 
in unum 9 et Iegat unus collationes vel 
Vitas Patrum, aut certe aliquid quod 
aedificet audientes." After this they took 
a cup in the refectory. The reading pro- 
duced thirst in the Holy Fathers, sleeping 
did the same for Gargantua (Duchat). 

n de Fou and Gourville were noblemen 
of Poitou. All four were courtiers of 
Francis I. 

* Boards for chess and backgammon 
were made to resemble the Gospels, 
especially as they served for four sorts of 
games. In order to obey their rules, 
monks used to play chess, etc., on such 
livres d*EvangiUs. 

94 a toutes restes seems to be another 
game at cards, possibly Primero. Per- 
haps the name may be derived from A 
toute reste, at all haiatrds. 


How Gargantua was trained by Ponocrates in a Discipline 
such that he lost not one Hour of the Day 

When Ponocrates knew Gargantua's vicious Manner of Living, he 
determined to instruct him in Letters in a far different Fashion ; but for 
the first few Days he bore with him, considering that Nature cannot 
endure sudden Changes without great Violence. 

Therefore, the better to begin his Work, he entreated a learned 
Physician of that Time, named Theodoras, 1 to consider if it were possible 
to change Gargantua to a better Course. He purged him secundum 
artetn with Hellebore of Anticyra, 2 and by this Medicament purged him 
from all this Corruption and perverse Habit of Brain. By this means 
also Ponocrates caused him to forget all that he had learned under his 
• Quint. iL 3, § 3. ancient Preceptors, as a Timotheus did to his Pupils, who had been 

instructed under other Musicians. 

To do this the better, he brought him into the Company of learned 
Men who were there, in Emulation of whom his Wit increased and his 
Desire to study otherwise and to make known his Worth. 

Afterwards, he put him in such a Course of Study that he lost no 
Hour whatever of the Day, and thus spent all his Time in Literature 
and sound Knowledge. 

So then, Gargantua awoke about four o'Clock in the Morning. 
Whilst he was being rubbed there was read to him some page or other 
of Holy Writ, aloud and clearly, with Pronunciation suited to the 
Matter ; and hereunto was appointed a young Page, a native of Basch£, 

1 Theodorus, probably a typical Greek by the ancients against paralysis, in- 

name used by Rabelais, as he employs sanity, dropsy, gout of long standing, 

Gymnaste, Rhizotome, etc ABC read and arthritic diseases. It was a strong 

Seraphin Calobarsy. purgative, and grew in Anticyra (Plin. 

9 Black hellebore was the remedy used N.H. xxv. 5). 

chap, xxiii GARGANTUA 85 

named Anagnostes. 8 According to the Purpose and Argument of that 
Lesson, he oftentimes gave himself to revere, adore, pray and beseech 
the good God, whose Majesty and marvellous Judgment the Reading 
shewed forth. 

Then went he into the secret Places to make Excretion of his 
natural Digestions. There his Preceptor repeated to him what had 
been read, expounding unto him the most obscure and difficult Points. 

On their Return they considered the Condition of the Sky, if it were 
such as they had observed it the Night before, and into what Signs the 
Sun was entering, as also the Moon, for that Day. 

This done, he was dressed, combed, curled, trimmed and perfumed, 
during which Time were repeated to him the Lessons of the Day before. 
He himself said them by Heart, and founded thereon certain Cases that 
were practical and bearing on the State of Man ; this they continued 
sometimes for two or three Hours, but generally they ceased as soon as 
he was fully clothed. Then he was read to for three good Hours. 

This done, they went forth, still conferring on the Subjects of the 
Lecture, and betook themselves to the Bracque,* or to the Meadows, and 
played at Ball or Tennis or the Triangular 6 Ball-game, gaily giving 
Exercise to their Body, as they had before to their Mind. 

Their Sports were always taken in perfect Freedom, for they left off 
their Game when it pleased them; and they mostly gave over when 
sweated all over their Body or were otherwise tired. Then they were 
well dried and rubbed, changed their Shirts, and walking gently, went to 
see if the Dinner was ready. Whilst they were there waiting, they did 
clearly and eloquently pronounce some Sentences retained from their 

Meantime Master Appetite came, and as good Occasion served them 
they sat them down at Table. 

At the Beginning of the Repast there was read some pleasant Story 
of the ancient Feats of Arms, until he had taken his Wine. Then (if 
they thought good) the Reading was continued, or they began to 
discourse merrily together, speaking for their first Discourse of the 
Virtue, Property, Efficacy and Nature of all that was served them at 
Table; of the Bread, Wine, Water, Salt, Meat, Fish, Fruits, Herbs, 

* Anagndsies. He probably refers to with a Hound (Bracque) as a sign. 
Pierre Duchatel, reader to Francis I. M. des Marets refers it to the Corre- 
ct Epistle Dedicatory to Book IV. fou? de Bracque, now la place de 

4 en Bracque. This has been explained FEstrapade. 

as a tennis-court in the Boulevard St. g Sen Uatum ceroma teru tepidumve *fc»^ 

Marceau (the extreme south of Paris), Martial, ir. 19. 



Roots, and of their Dressing. And in doing this he learned in a short 
time all the Passages bearing on this in Pliny, Athenaeus, Dioscorides, 
Julius Pollux,* Galen, Porphyrius, 7 Oppian, 8 Polybius, Heliodorus, 
Aristotle, Aelian and others. In» holding these Discourses they often, 
to be better assured, had the before-named Books brought to Table. 
And so well and perfectly did he retain in his Memory the things spoken 
of, that in those days there was not a Physician who knew therein half 
as much as he did. 

Afterwards they discoursed of the Lessons read in the Morning, 
and finishing their Repast by some Confection of Quinces, 9 he picked 
his Teeth with Tooth-picks of the Mastick-tree ; 10 washed his Hands 
and his Eyes with fair fresh Water, and they returned Thanks to God in 
some fine Canticles made in Praise of the Divine Bounty and Munifi- 
cence. This done, Cards were brought, not to play with, but to learn 
from them a thousand pretty Tricks and new Inventions, all of which 
proceeded from Arithmetic By this means he fell in love with the 
said Numerical Science, and every day after Dinner and Supper, passed 
his Time as pleasantly as he had been wont at Dice or at Cards ; inso- 
much that he knew it so well in Theory and Practice, that Tunstal, the 
Englishman, 11 who had written largely on it, confessed that verily, in 
Comparison with him, he understood no more therein than the High- 

And not only in this, but also in the other Mathematical Sciences, as 
Geometry, Astronomy and Music ; for, as they waited for the Concoction 
and Digestion of his Meal, they made a thousand pretty Instruments and 
Geometrical Figures, and likewise practised the Astronomical Canons. 

Afterwards they recreated themselves with singing musically in four 
or five Parts, or on a set Theme, to the full extent of their Throat. With 
regard to musical Instruments, he learned to play on the Lute, the 

• Julius Pollux of Naucratis in Egypt, M Lentiscum melius : sed si tibi frondea cospis 
a Greek sophist who lived at Athens Defiierit, denies penna levare potest, 
under Commodas (180 A.D.) His Martial, xiv. ss. 
Onomasticon, a treatise on every variety of 

subject, in 10 Books, was published by u Cuthbert Tunstal (1476- 1559), bishop 

Aldus in 1504. of Durham, first secretary of Henry 

7 Porphyrius, a great Neo-Platonist VIII. He published (Lond. 1522, Paris 
His treatise on Abstinence from Meat that 1529 ; Rob. Estienne) a treatise on Arith- 
has had Life is probably in view here. mctic, C. Tonstalli de Arte suppuiandi 

8 Oppianusy a Cilician poet of the libri quatuor. Cf. Mullinger, Hist. Univ. 
2d century who wrote on hunting and Camb. i. 591 sq. 

fishing. " The French had but little com- 

• Confection of Quinces, Fr. cotoniat ; munication at this time with Upper 
ii. 28, iv. 32, condignac. Germany. 

chap, xxiii , GARGANTUA 87 

Spinet, the Harp, the German Flute, and the Flute with nine Holes, 
the Viol and the Sackbut This Hour thus spent and his Digestion 
finished, he did purge his Body of natural Excrements ; then betook 
himself to his principal Study for three hours or more, as well to 
repeat his morning Lesson as to go on with the Book he had in hand, 
as also to write and draw and trace carefully the antique and Roman 

This done, they went out, and with them a young Gentleman of 
Touraine, named the Esquire Gymnast, who taught him the Art of 
Riding. Changing then his Clothes, he mounted a Charger, a Cob, 
a Gennet, a Barb, a light Horse, made him run a hundred Courses, 
leap in the Air, clear the Ditch, leap over the Barrier, caracole sharply 
to the right or the left. 

There he broke, not his Lance, for it is the greatest Folly in the 
World to say: I have broken ten Lances at Tilt or in Battle — a 
Carpenter could easily do it — but 'tis a laudable Boast to have over- 
thrown ten Enemies with one Lance. With his Lance then tipped 
with Steel, tough and strong, he would break down a Door, pierce 
a Harness, uproot a Tree, spike a Ring, carry off a Cuirassier-saddle, a 
Coat-of-mail and a Gauntlet All this he did, armed from Head to Foot. 

With regard to prancing Flourishes and little Chirrups u on Horse- 
back, no one did it better than he. The Vaulter of Ferrara 14 was 
but an Ape in comparison. He was singularly accomplished in 
leaping nimbly from one Horse to another without putting Foot to the 
Ground — these Horses were called desultorii^ — and leaping on Horse- 
back on both Sides, Lance in hand, and without Stirrups ; and guiding 
his Horse at pleasure without a Bridle; for such things are useful 
for military Discipline. 

Another day he practised with the Battle-axe, which he wielded so 
well, so lustily recovered it from every Thrust, so nimbly lowered it 
with a sweeping Stroke, that he was passed Knight-at-arms in the Field 
and in all Trials. 

Then he brandished the Pike, played with the two-handed Sword, or 
the Back-sword, 10 the Spanish Rapier, the Dagger, the Poniard, armed 
or unarmed, with a Buckler, Cloak or Target 

u Fr. poppismes, Gk. rtrrvvfUL, u Vaulter of Ferrara^ some Italian 

Lat poppysma, a sort of chirruping to at the court of Francis, 

encourage the horses used by riders in a or- u desuUoriu C£ Horn. II xv. 679- 

cos. Rabelais probably borrows the word 684 ; Liv. xxiii 29, § 5. 

used in this sense from Pliny, N.H. xxxv. u Back-sword=tespit bastardt. Cfc L 

10, § 36 (104) : " Cum pingeret (Nealces) 35, iiL 25. Littre* explains it as a sword 

poppyzonta retinentem par equum." which can be used with one hand or two. 


He hunted the Stag, the Roe-buck, the Bear, the Fallow-deer, the 
wild Boar, the Hare, the Partridge, the Pheasant, the Bustard. 

He played with the large Ball and made it bound in the Air with 
Foot as well as with Fist 

He wrestled, ran, jumped, not at three Steps and a Leap, not with 
a Hop, nor with the German Leap (for Gymnast said such Leaps 
are useless and of no good in War), but with a single Bound he 
would clear a Ditch, fly over a Hedge, mount six Paces up a 
i Wall and clamber in this manner up to a Window of the height 

of a Lance. 

He would swim in deep Water on his Belly, on his Back, on his 
Side, with all his Body, with his Feet only, with one Hand in the Air, 
wherein holding a Book he would cross the whole breadth of the 
River Seine without wetting the Book, and dragging his Cloak with 
his Teeth as did Julius Caesar. 17 Then with one Hand he got into 
a Boat with great Strength ; from there he would again throw himself 
into the Water Head-foremost, sounded the Depths, explored the 
, Hollows of the Rocks, plunged into the Pits and Gulfs. Then ' he 
turned the Boat about, steered it, rowed it quickly, slowly, with the 
Stream, against the Current, stopped it in full Course, steered it with 
one Hand and with the other laid about him with a huge Oar, hoisted 
the Sail, climbed aloft on the Mast by the Shrouds, ran along the 
Rigging, adjusted the Compass, tackled the Bowlines, handled the 

Coming out of the Water, he sturdily climbed up a Mountain-side 
and came down again as easily ; he clambered 18 up Trees like a Cat, 
leaped from one to another like a Squirrel and knocked down the 
* Pans, vi x 4> great Boughs like another b Milo. 
5 ' With two well-steeled Poniards and two well-tried Bodkins he 

climbed to the Top of a House like a Rat, then came down from the 
Top to the Bottom, with his Limbs so arranged that he got no Hurt 
by his Fall. 

He hurled the Dart, threw the Bar, put the Stone, threw the 
Javelin, the Boar-spear, the Halbert; drew a Bow to the full, bent 
against his Breast strong rack-bent w Cross-bows, took Aim by his Eye 

17 In the Alexandrian war, during a the water, and swimming with the other, 

battle for the possession of Pharos, Caesar Plut. Caes. c 49, § 4. 
first threw himself from the fortifications u Fr. graver, still used in Saintonge 

into a small boat, and then, when hard for grimper. 

pressed by the Egyptians, into the water, u de passe, i.e. bent by a rack (a 

carrying his* papers in one hand out of machine for that purpose). 




• //. ▼. 783. 

with an Arquebuss, planted the Cannon, shot at the Butt, at the 
Popinjay, going up a Hill, 80 coming down it, frontways, sideways, 
and behind him like the Parthians. 

They tied a Cable-rope for him on to the Top of some high Tower, 
with the other End hanging to the Ground; by this he climbed 
Hand over Hand to the Top, and then came down again so sturdily 
and firmly that you could not have done it better on a well-levelled 

They placed for him a great Pole supported by two Trees ; from 
this he would hang by his Hands, and go along it to and fro without 
touching auything with his Feet, so swiftly that you could not over- 
take S1 him by running at full Speed. 

And to exercise his Chest and Lungs he would shout like all the 
Devils. I heard him once calling Eudemon from St. Victor to Mont- 
martre. 22 Never had c Stentor such a Voice at the Siege of Troy. 

Moreover, to strengthen his Sinews, they had made for him two 
great Sows of Lead, each weighing eight thousand seven hundred 
Quintals, which he called haltiresi** these he would take from the 
Earth, one in each Hand, and hoist them m the Air above his Head, 
and hold them so without stirring for three - quarters of an Hour and 
more, which showed inimitable Strength. 

He could play at Barriers with the stoutest, and when the Tussle 
came, he kept himself on his Feet so firmly that he would let the 
hardiest of them try, to see if they could make him budge from his 
Ground, just as d Milo did formerly, in imitation of whom he held d f™*- "• x *. 
a Pomegranate in his Hand and gave it to whosoever could take it 
from him. 

His Time being thus bestowed and himself rubbed, cleansed and 
refreshed with a Change of Apparel, he returned fairly and softly, 
and passing by some Meadows or other grassy Places, they inspected 
the Trees and Plants, comparing them with the Accounts of them in 

M6, 7. 

* Foist. That sprightly Scot of Soots, 
Douglas, that mas a' horseback up a hill per- 

Prime*. He that rides at high speed and 
with his pistol kills a sparrow flying. 
Fmlsi. You hare hit it. 
Prime*. So did he never the sparrow. 

/ Henry IV. il 4, 377 *qq. 

n Fr. acontcvoir {=a/teindre), used 
only by Rabelais in this sense. Cfc c 25, 


* St Victor to Montmartre is practi- 

cally the extreme south to the extreme 
north of Paris. 

* dXr^pet (fiXXo/uu), weights like 
dumb-bells, used to assist in jumping, 
being thrown backwards at the moment 
of taking the leap. Cf. AXr%wi Bvkdxoiat 
Xpr)ff0ai ro rvkytBm (Crates, Her. iv.) 
This line is commented on by Julius 
Pollux, and possibly Rabelais had it in 
his mind. The word halter is found 
Mart. vii. 67, xiv. 49. 



the Books of the Ancients who have written thereon, such as Theo- 
phrastus, Dioscorides, 84 Marinus, 86 Pliny, Nicander, 26 Macer* 7 and 
Galen ; and carried to the House whole Handfuls of them, whereof a 
young Page named Rhizotomus had charge, and together with them 
of Mattocks, Pickaxes, Grubbing-hooks, Spades, Pruning-knives and 
other Instruments requisite for good Gardening. 

When they had arrived home, while Supper was being got ready, 
they repeated certain Passages of that which had been read, and then 
took their Place at Table. And here note that Gargantua's Dinner 
was sober and frugal ; for he only ate enough to restrain the Cravings ** 
of his Stomach ; but his Supper was copious and ample, for he took 
then as much as was needful to maintain and nourish him. This is 
the true Diet prescribed by the Art of good and sound Medicine, 
although a Rabble of foppish Physicians, fagged in the Wrangling-shop 
of the Arabs, 29 counsel the Contrary. 

During the said Repast the Lesson read at Dinner was continued 
as long as they thought good ; the rest was taken up in good Discourse, 
learned and profitable. After they had given Thanks, they set them- 
selves to sing melodiously, and play on harmonious Instruments, or 
with those pretty Sports one has with Cards or Dice or Thimblerig; 
and there they remained making good Cheer and frolicking sometimes 
till Bed-time ; sometimes they went to seek the Company of Learned 
men or such as had seen foreign Countries. 

When it was full Night, before retiring, they went to the most open 
place of the House to see the Face of the Heavens ; and there took 
note of the Comets, if there were any, likewise the Figures, Situations, 
Aspects, Oppositions and Conjunctions of the Stars. 

M Dioscorides Pedacius, a physician medicinal plants in imitation of Nicander. 

and herbalist, probably in 2d century C£ Ov. Trist. iv. 10, 43 : 

a.d. He left behind a treatise on Materia < _^ «d,«^« w* m n,; *»„,<««• *~m 

_ _. . oaepe sum voiucres legit mini grmnaior aevo, 

MeduOy a work of great labour and Quaeque necet serpens, quae juret herba 

research. Macer. 

* Marinus , a celebrated physician and «,,., , .,. 
anatomist, tutor to Galen, who speaks of ^} 3elus - howev "« J" m *" ■»* ^ 
him with great respect. abl y a work entltled -*«*»»**" Mattr * 

* meander (2d or 3d cent. B.c) of h ^T. t f iuiiius ' which bdon 8» «• 
Claros near Colophon in Ionia, a physician «*M»«He Age*. 

and a poet. He wrote on toxicology. .. " F '- ab W J"***- <* Hdr. Sat. 

Two poems of his, 6i,i>Muc<t and 'AXefAda- u - a > l8: 

dim sue pania 

fiaica, survive. Latnmttm stomachum bene leniet. 

v Mater is Aemilius Macer of Verona, 

who died in Asia 16 B.C. He wrote a * Avicenna and his school are 

poem or poems on birds, snakes and meant. 

chap, xxin GARGANTUA 91 

Then with his Master he did briefly recapitulate, after the manner 
of the Pythagoreans, 80 everything which he had read, seen, learned, 
done and heard in the Course of all that Day. 

And so they prayed unto God the Creator, worshipping Him and 
ratifying their Faith towards Him, and glorifying Him for His infinite 
Goodness; and returning Thanks to Him for all the time passed, they 
recommended themselves to His divine Clemency for all the Time to 

This done, they betook themselves to their Repose. 

m " Pythagoreoram more exercendae andierim, egerim, commemoro vesperi" 
memoriae gratia, quid quoque die dixerim, (Cic de Sen. 1 1, § 38). 




How Gargantua spent his Time in rainy Weather 

If it happened that the Weather was rainy and unsettled, all the Time 
before Dinner was employed according to Custom, except that he had 
a good clear Fire lighted, to correct the Distempers of the Air. 

But after Dinner, instead of their Exercise they stayed indoors, and 
by way of healthful Recreation l amused themselves in trussing of Hay, 
cleaving and sawing of Wood and in threshing Sheaves of Corn in the 
Barn. Then they studied the Art of Painting and Sculpture, or brought 
back into use the ancient Game of Tali? as Leonicus 8 has written of it 
and as our good Friend Lascaris* doth play it In playing at it 
they recalled to mind the Passages of the ancient Authors in which 
Mention is made or some Metaphor taken from this Game. 

Likewise, they either went to see the, Drawing of Metals or the Cast- 
ing of Artillery ; or went to see the Lapidaries, Goldsmiths and Cutters 
of precious Stones ; or the Alchemists and Minters of Coin, or the 
Makers of Tapestry, Weavers, Velvet-workers, Watch-makers, Mirror- 
makers, Printers, 5 Instrument-makers, Dyers and other such kinds of 
Workmen, and everywhere giving them Wine, they did learn and con- 
sider the Industry and Invention of the Trades. 

They went also to hear the public Lectures, the solemn Acts, the 

1 Fr. apctherapu. Borrowed from 

1 Tali (iv. 7) = AffrpdyaKou They 
differed from tesserae (dice) in having 
two sides round, and the other four sides 
marked I, 3, 4, 6. 

* Niccolo Leonico, a Venetian 
(t 1531)1 professor ,at Padua, wrote a 
dialogue entitled Sannutus, swe de 
ludo talario (1524), afterwards pub- 

lished at Lyons by Seb. Gryphius in 


4 Andre* Jean de Lascaris, sent as 

ambassador to Venice by Louis XII., 
afterwards librarian to Francis I., men- 
tioned together with Budaeus v. 19. He 
was a celebrated scholar of this period, and 
a friend of Rabelais. 

8 Printers* Francis I. set up a print- 
ing-press in the Louvre. C£ L 51. 

chap, xxiv GARGANTUA 93 

Repetitions, the Declamations, the Pleadings of the noble Advocates, 
and the Harangues of the Preachers of the Gospel 

He went through the Halls and Places appointed for Fencing, and 
there played against the Masters at all Weapons and taught them by 
Experience that he knew as much, yea more in it than they. 

Also, instead of herborising, they visited the Shops of the Druggists, 
Herbalists and Apothecaries, and diligently considered the Fruits, Roots, 
Leaves, Gums, Seeds, foreign Unguents, 6 therewith also how men did 
adulterate them. 

He went to see the Tumblers, Conjurors and Quack-salvers, and 
paid Attention to their Antics, their Tricks, their Somersaults and 
their smooth Tongue, especially those of Chauny in Picardy ; for they 
are by nature great Jabberers and fine cogging Praters on the subject of 
green Apes. 7 

When they had returned Home for Supper they ate more soberly 
than on other Days, and Meats more desiccative and attenuating, to the 
end that the humid Distemper of the Air, communicated to the Body by 
necessary Proximity, might by this means be corrected, and that they 
might suffer no Prejudice through not taking Exercise as was their 

Thus was Gargantua tutored, and he kept on this Course from day 
to day, profiting as you understand a Young man can do, according to 
his Age, with good Sense and Exercise of this kind thus continued ; 
which although at the Beginning it seemed difficult, as it went on was 
so sweet, easy and delectable that it resembled rather the Recreation of 
a King than the Study of a Scholar. 

Nevertheless Ponocrates, to give him Rest from this vehment Inten- 
tion of the Spirits, marked out once in a Month some Day that was 
very clear and serene ; on which they started in the Morning from the 
City and went either to Gentilly, or to Boulogne, or Montrouge, or 
Charanton, 8 or Vanves, or Sainct - Cloud. And there they spent all 
the Day in making the greatest Cheer they could devise ; gibing, making 
merry, drinking Healths, playing, singing, dancing, tumbling in some 
fair Meadow, unnestling of Sparrows, taking of Quails, fishing for Frogs 
and Crayfish. 

But although that Day was spent without Books and Reading, in no 
way was it spent without Profit For in a fair Meadow they would 
repeat by Heart some pleasant Lines of Virgil's Agriculture^ of Hesiod, 

6 axungts—axungia (Du Cange). 8 Charanton, a place a few miles from 

7 grun Apes, ue. anything fantastic; Paris, on the Maroe, where there was a 
it. 32. C£ also " les singes de Chauny. 1 ' bridge. Cf. ii. 9. 



of the Rusticus of Politian; 9 set abroach certain witty Epigrams in 
Latin and then turned them into Roundelays and Ballads in the French 

In their Feasting, they would separate the Wine 10 from the Water 
that was therewith mixed, (as Cato teacheth Dc re rust, as doth Pliny 
also 11 ) with a Cup made from Ivy; they would wash the Wine in a 
Bason full of Water, then take it out again with a Funnel They made 
the Water go from one Glass to another, and contrived many little 
automatic Machines, that is, Machines that moved of themselves. 

9 The Sifoae of Politian (i. ProL) were hederacea. Vinum id, quod putabis aquam 
Latin poems highly prized at the time, habere, eo demittito. Si habebit aquam, 
entitled Nutrica> Rusticus, Ambra,Manto vinum effluet, aqua manebit" (Cato de 
(R.) Agricult.caA.) " Hederae mira proditur 

10 vin aisgui = wine mixed with natura ad experienda vina, si vas fiat 
water. e ligno ejus, vina txansfluere ac remanere 

u " Si voles scire, in vinum aqua addita aquam, si qua merit mixta " (Plin. N.H. 
sit necne, vasculum facito de materia xvL 35, § 63 (155). C£ iii. 52. 

A A 









How was stirred between the C ake-bakers of Lerni a nd those of 

Gargantua's Country the Great Strife, whereby 

were waged great Wars 

At that Time, which was the Season of Vintage at the Beginning of 
Autumn, the Shepherds of the Country were set to guard the Vines and 
hinder the Starlings from eating the Grapes. 

At which Time the Cake-bakers of LernS 1 were passing on the 
great Highway, taking ten or twelve Loads of Cakes to the 

The said Shepherds asked them courteously to give them some 
in Return for their Money, at the Market-price. For note that it is 
celestial Food to eat for Breakfast, Grapes with fresh Cake, especially 
Pine-apple Grapes, Fig-grapes, Muscadines, Verjuice-Grapes, and the 
Luskard 2 for those who are constipated in their Belly. For they make 
men go off to the length of a Hunter's Spear 8 ; and thinking to let off a 
Squib, men do often bewray themselves, wherefore they are called the 

The Cake-bakers were in no way inclinable to their Request, but, 
what is worse, they insulted them hugely^ c alling them : 

ijabblers, Broken-mouths, Carrot-pates, scurvy Fellows, Stinking Jacks, 
Drunken Roysters, sly Knaves, lazy Loons, slapsauce Fellows, Tunbellies, 
Gawkies, Ne'er-do-wells, Loggerheads, Paltry customers, Smell-feasts, 
Drawlatch Hoydens, strutting Coxcombs, Grimacers, Ninnies, Woe- 
begone Sneaks, gaping Noodles, Bog-trotters, Shaven-polls, Gluttons, 
Hickscorners, Rattle-tooths, Dung-drovers, sh — n Shepherds, and other 
such defamatory Epithets; adding that it was not for them to eat 

1 LtrrUy a place in Touraine about 5 J miles south of Chinon. 
9 Luskard (Urquhart). * Fr. vouge. 




of these dainty Cake s, but that they ought to content themselves with 
xoarse lumpy Bread, and Rye-loa£ 

To this Outrage one of them named Forgier, a very honest man in 
his Bearing and a notable Springall, replied gently : 

" Since when have you put on Horns, 4 that you have become so 
malapert? 6 Why, formerly you were wont to give them us freely, and 
now do you refuse ? Tis not the Act of good Neighbours, and it is not 
thus that we treat you when you come here to buy our good Com, 
whereof you make your Cakes and Buns. Moreover, in the Bargain 
we would have given you of our Grapes ; but by the Halidame, you 
may chance to repent it, and some day will have a Dealing with us, 
when we will act with you in like Manner ; therefore remember it" 

Then Marquet, grand Mace-bearer of the Guild of Cake-bakers, said 
to him : " Verily thou art rarely crest-risen this Morning ; thou didst 
eat too much Millet 6 yestreen ; r come hither, Sirrah, come hither, and 
I will give thee of my Cake." 

Upon this Forgier in all Simplicity went towards him drawing a 
Shilling 8 from his Fob, 9 thinking that Marquet was going to draw out 
of his Pouch some Cakes ; but he gave him with his Whip such a rough 
Lash across his Legs that the Weals showed. Then he would have 
made off in Flight, but Forgier cried out " Murder ! Help ! " with all 
his Might, and at the same Time threw at him a great Cudgel which he 
carried under his Arm, and struck him on the coronal 10 Joint of his 
Head, on the crotaphic u Artery on the right Side ; in such sort that 
Marquet tumbled from his Mare, more like a dead than a living Man. 

Meantime the Countrymen, who were shelling Walnuts hard by, ran 
up with their long Poles and laid on to these Cake-bakers as though 
they were threshing green Rye. 18 The Shepherds and Shepherdesses 
besides, hearing the Cry of Forgier, came up with their Slings and 
Staves, 18 and followed them with great Throwing of Stones, which fell 
so thick that it seemed as though it were Hail. 

* Tone veniunt risus, tunc pauper cornuasumit. 

Ov. A.A. L 339. 

• malapert, Fr. rogues, which refers 
to the ram stage of the sheep's life in 
contradistinction to the lamb stage. 

• Millet and maize were given to cocks 
to make them pugnacious. Garlic is sup- 
posed to have the same effect in Aristo- 

7 yestreen, Fr. hersoir=hier au soir. 

• Fr. unaain, a silver piece 

from ten to eleven deniers January 4, 


• Fr. baudrier— baldric. 

10 The coronal suture is that crossing the 
sinciput and coming down towards the 
middle of the temples {orefaruua Pafij, 

u crotaphic, Kpord<pios (Galen, 14, 720), 
belonging to the temple. 

u Green Rye would require much 
threshing to get the corn out 

u brassier s= cudgels (Cotgrave). 

chap, xxv GARGANTUA 97 

At last they came up with them and took from them about four or 
five Dozen of their Cakes ; nevertheless they paid for them at the usual 
Price and gave them besides a hundred Walnuts H and three Basketsful 
of white Grapes. 16 Then the Cake-bakers helped Marquet, who had 
an ugly Wound, to mount again, and returned to Lernd without going 
on the Road to Pareill6, with stout and sturdy Threats against the 
Neatherds, Shepherds, and Countrymen of Seuilld and Sinays. 16 

This done, the Shepherds and Shepherdesses made right merry with 
these Cakes and fine Grapes, and disported themselves together to the 
sound of the fair Bagpipe, scoffing at those fine, vainglorious Cake- 
bakers who had met with Mischief for Want of crossing themselves with 
the Right hand 17 in the Morning. And with great common Grapes 
they carefully dressed Forgier's Legs, so that he was quickly healed. 

u Fr. guecas, still used in Sologne M PareilU, SeuilU and Sinays, villages 

and Berry. Cacos is used in Sain- on the road from Chinon to Lerne\ 

tonge. 17 Right hand. Fr. bonne main. So 

u "Ft. francs aubiers (Lat albus). the left hand is called la male main. 



T ^A 


How the Inhabitants of Lem£> by the Command of Picrochole % 
their King, unexpectedly assaulted the Shepherds 

of Grandgousier 

The Cake-bakers, being returned t o Lerng, at once, before eating or 
drinking, betook themselves to the Capitol^ 1 and there i n th<» Prpync* 
of their King. Picrochole, the third of that Name, set forth their Com- 
plaint, shewing their Baskets broken, their Caps all crumpled, their 
Garments torn, their Cakes ransacked, and above all Marquet enormously 
wounded; declaring that all had been done by the Shepherds and 
Countrymen of G randgousier near the broad Highway beyond JJeuilM. 
Picrochole ina 

^i. i^f^ „ f„^ 11B ^aflrf» flnfl without Auc- 
tioning any furthe r why nr frn^ haH proclaimed throughout his Country 
Ban and Airier Ban, and that every one, under Pain of the Halter, should 
assemble in Arms in the Great Square before the Castle at the hour of 

The better to strengthen his Design he sent Orders that the Drum 
should be beat about the Town. He himself, whilst his Dinner was 
making ready, went to see his Artillery limbered up, his Ensign and 
Oriflamme displayed, and Wagons loaded with store of Ammunition, 
of Arms as well as of Provisions. 

While he was dining he made out his Commissions, and by his Edict 
Lord Shagrag was appointed to command the Vanguard, wherein were 
numbered sixteen thousand and fourteen Hacquebusiers, thirty -five 
thousand and eleven Volunteers. 2 

1 Fr. Capitoly. In several places in 
France, especially Toulouse, the Council- 
house is called capitoul. 

2 Volunteers, Fr. auenturiers. They 
were companies of musketeers introduced 

by Louis XII. and Francis I. after the first 
Italian campaign, with no pay save what 
they got by plunder. They became out- 
rageous even in time of peace, and very 
troublesome to Francis (R.) 

chap, xxvi GARGANTUA 99 

The Charge of the Artillery was given to the grand Master of the 
Horse Toucquedillon ; in this were reckoned nine hundred and fourteen 
great bronze Guns in Cannons, Double-cannons, Basilisks, Serpentines, 
Culverins, Bombards, Falcons, Passevolans, Spiroles and other Pieces. 8 

The Rear-guard was given to the Duke of Rake-penny ; in the main 
Battle were posted the King and the Princes of his Kingdom. 

When they were thus hastily equipped, before they set forward, they 
sent three hundred light Horsemen under the Direction of Captain 
Swill-wind to reconnoitre the Country and to see if there was any 
Ambush on the Country-side. But after they had made diligent Search 
they found all the Land around in Peace and Quiet, without any 
Gathering of People whatever. 

Learning this, Picrochole commanded that every one should speedily 
inarch under his Colours. 

Thereupon, without Order or Measure, they took the Fields one 
with the other, ravaging and wasting everything wherever they passed 
through, without sparing Poor or Rich, places Sacred or Profane ; they 
drove off Oxen, Cows, Bulls, Calves, Heifers, Ewes, Wethers, She-goats, 
He-goats, Fowls, Capons, Chickens, Goslings, Ganders, Geese, Hogs, 
Sows, Porkers ; bashing the Walnuts, stripping the Vines, carrying off 
the Vine-stocks, knocking down 4 all the Fruit from the Trees. 

It was an unparalleled Disorder that they wrought ; and they found 
no one to resist them, but every one put himself at their Mercy, beseech- 
in g that they might be treated with more Humanity, in regard that they 
had from all Time past been g6M Ullll lUVlllg Neighbours; and that 
they had never been guilty of any Excess or Outrage against them, that 
they should so suddenly be evil-entreated by them, and that God would 
punish them for it shortly. To these Remonstrances the others 
answered nothing more than that they would teach them to eat Cakes. 

* M. des MaretS gives the following Grande coulevrine carries a ball of 15 livres. 

table, taken from L. N. Bonaparte, £tudts Faucon , , „ x livre. 

sur Variillerit (for France in the time of A bombard is a sort of mortar carrying 

Rabelais) : metal or stone balls varying considerably 

...... .„*..,. in weight The passe-volant and spircle 

Grande basilique carries a ball of 80 livres. , * • J t\ *•> \ « • 

Double cannon „ „ * „ (spirula, Du Cange) are small pieces. 

Canon Serpentin „ „ 24 „ 4 Fr. croullant (iv. 10). 


How a M/mk-jiffieui/M pa ved the Close of the Abbey from 

being sacked by the Enemy 

So they went on harrying, pillaging and stealing, till they came to Seuilte, 1 
where they spoiled Men and Women alike, and took all they could ; 
nothing was too hot or too heavy for them. Although the Plague 2 was 
in almost all the Houses, they went in everywhere and plundered all that 
was within, and yet none of them took any Hurt. Which is a Case won- 
derful indeed ; for the Curls, Vicars, Preachers, Physicians, Surgeons 
and Apothecaries who went to visit, dress, heal, preach to and admonish 
the Sick were all dead of the Infection ; and these devilish Robbers and 
Murderers never caught any Harm at it Whence comes that, my 
Masters ? Think upon it, I beseech you. 

The Town thus pillaged, they went on to the Abbey with a horrible 
Tumult, but they found it well barred and made fast ; whereupon the 
main Body of the Army marched on towards the Ford of Vede, except 
seven Companies of Foot and two hundred Lances, who remained 
there and broke down the Walls of the Close so as to waste the whole 

The poor Devils of Monks knew not to which of their Saints to 
devote themselves. At all risks they had the Bell rung ad Capitulum 
capitulantts* There it was decreed that they should form a fair Pro- 
cession reinforced by fine Chaunts and Litanies contra hostium insidias 
and fine Responses pro pace. 

1 Seville*, near Chinon, where there was case of persons, who merely came and went 

an abbey of Benedictines. but did not stay in the stricken places. 

' the Plague. This is an allusion to the * ad Capitulum capitulantes. A cer- 

plague which ravaged France in 151a tain small bell summoned to the Chapter 

There was a belief in Rabelais' time those who had a voice in affairs, not the 

that the plague was not infectious in the novices. 

chap, xxvii GARGANTUA 101 

In the Abbey at that time was a Cloister Monk named Friar John of 
the Trencherites,* young, gallant, frisky, lusty, very handy, bold, adven-~~ 
turous, resolute, tall, lean, with a rare gaping Mouth and a mighty 
prominent Nose, a fine Mumbler of Matins, Unbridler of Masses and 
a Scourer of Vigils ; to say everything summarily, a very Monk, if 
ever there was one, since the monking World monked a Monkery. 
Moreover, he was a Clerk to the very Teeth in mat |y pf fip>viftry. 

This Monk, hearing the Noise which the Enemies made in the Close 
of their Vineyard, started out to see what they were doing, and finding 
that they were gathering the Grapes of the Close, on which depended 
their Supply of Drink for the whole Year, he returns to the Choir of the . 
Church, where the other Monks were all amazed like so many Bell- 
founders, 5 and seeing them chant *V», im,pe y <?, i, <?, e, e, turn, um, int\ 
/, mi, /, co, o, o, o, o, o, rum, urn, "This is," said he, "well cackled, well 
sung. By the Powers, why don't you sing 

Panniers farewell, Vintage is done? 

Devil take me if they are not in our Close, and cutting up so thoroughly 
both Vines and Grapes that, 'Sbody ! there will be nothing for four 
Years but gleaning for us there. By the Belly of St James, 6 what shall 
we poor Devils drink the while ? O Lord 1 da tnihi potum." 

Then said the Prior of the Convent: "What will this drunken Fellow 
do here ? Let one take me him to Prison. Thus to disturb divine 
Service !" 

" But," said the monk, " the Wine Service 1 Let us do our best that 
that be not disturbed ; for you yourself, my Lord Prior, like to drink of 
the best. So does every honest Man. Never did a worthy Man hate 
good Wine ; it is an Apophthegm of the Cloister. But these Responses 
that you are chanting here, pardy ! they are not in Season. 

"Why are our Devotions in time of Harvest and Vintage short, and 
so long during Advent and all the Winter ? 

4 Friar John of the Trencherites. This cleanly bat to carve a capon and eat 

rendering of des Entommeures has been it?" It seemed that "Trencherites," 

adopted after much consideration, with the well-known meaning attach- 

Urquhart translates it " of the Funnels," ing to the English word " Trencher " 

which is obviously mistaken. That re- and its connection with the French 

presents des Enionnoirs. Entommeures trancher, might fairly represent Entom- 

is derived from brri/weur (entamer), to cut meures. 

in, to carve and eat, evidently referring * Bell-founders are proverbially dum- 

to a hearty appetite, and reminding us of founded when a casting goes wrong. 
Prince Hal on Falstaff (/ Henry IV. ii 4, • St. James. Referring probably to the 

501): "Wherein is he good but to taste pilgrim's gourd on the journey to St 

sack and drink it? wherein neat and James of Compostella. 




" The late Friar Mac£ Pelosse r of holy Memory, a truly zealous Man 
(Devil take me else) of our Religion, told me, I remember, that the 
Reason was, in order that in this Season we might well press and make 
the Wine and that in Winter we might drink it down. 

" Hark ye, my Masters ! he that loves Wine, in Heaven's Name follow 
me; for boldly I say it, Saint Antony burn me if those taste the Liquor 
who have not succoured the Vine. The Goods of the Church, quotha ! 
Ha ! no, no. Devil take it ! St Thomas of England 8 was ready and 
willing to die for them ; if I should die for them, should I not be a Saint 
likewise? Yet will I not die for all this; for it is I who will make the 
others die." 

Saying this, he threw down his great Monk's Habit and laid hold on 
the Staff of the Cross, which was of the heart of Service-tree, as long as a 
Lance, rounded for a good Grip, and a little decorated with FUurs-de- 
Lys almost all effaced. 

Thus he set forth in a fine Cassock, put his Frock scarf-wise, and 
with his Staff of the Cross laid about him lustily on his Enemies, who 
without Order or Ensign, Trumpet or Drum, were gathering Grapes in 
the Vineyard; for the Standard-bearers and Ensigns had laid down 
their Standards and Colours by the Walls, the Drummers had knocked 
in their Drums on one side to fill them with Grapes, the Trumpeters 
were laden with Bunches of Grapes ; every one was in Disorder — he 
fell upon them, I say, so stiffly without giving Warning that he over- 
threw them like Hogs, striking all at random in the old Fencing-fashion. 

far soir py, hffi h*flt nut thtir Pnrim ? for others, he broke their Arms 
andL egs ; for othe rs, he disjointed the Bones of their Neck ; for others, 
he^demoTIshed their Kidney s, sljLtheir N ose, b lackened their E yes, 
gashe fl their Jaws, knocked their Teeth down their Throat shattere d 
their Shoulder-blades, mortified their Shanks, dislncfttfff-lTfrtr Thigh- 
bones, disabledJK ek Tore-g ms. \~~~_ 

If any one tried to hide himself where the Vines were thickest, he 
mangled the whole Ridge of his Back and dashed his Reins like a Dog. 

If any wished to save himself by Flight, he made his Head fly into 
Pieces by the Lambdoidal Commissure? 

7 Maci Pelosse. Rene* Macl, a native 
of Venddme, a learned Benedictine and 
an Inquisitor. He was called le Petit 
Moiru. He is alluded to in i. 5, n. 32, 
under the title of Prebstre Macl. Pelosse 
seems to come from r Ao», TU\o\j/ t etc, from 
the black dress of the Benedictines. 

8 Thomas Becket, who was canonised 
by the Pope. 

9 Lambdoidal Commissure, the sutwe of 
the skull dividing it lengthwise, so called 
from its resemblance to a Greek Lambda 
(A), the three true sutures being Coro- 
nalis, Sagittalis, and Lambdoeides. 




If any one climbed up a Tree, thinking there to be in Safety, he im- 
paled him through the Body with his Staff. 

If any of his old Acquaintance cried out to him: " Ha, Friar John, 
my Friend, Friar John, I yield myself." 

"Why, you needs must," he said, "but at the same time you shall 
yield your Soul to all the Devils " ; and suddenly he gave him dronos. 10 

And if any person was so far seized with spirit of Rashness as to with- 
stand him to the Face, he at once shewed him the Strength of his 
Muscles by running him through at the Breast by the Mediastine u and 
the Heart ; with others, laying on under the Hollow of their short Ribs 
he overturned their Stomachs, so they died immediately; others he 
thrust so fiercely through the Navel that he made their Puddings gush 
out ; with others he drove into their Rectum through their Cods. 

Believe me it was the most horrible Spectacle that ever was seen. 

Some cried out on St Barbe, others on St George, others on Ste. 
Nytouche, 12 others on Our Lady of Cunaut, 18 of Loretta, 14 of Good 
Tidings, 15 of Lenou, 16 of Rivi&re. 17 Some devoted themselves to St 
James, others to the holy sudarium 18 of Chambery (but it was burnt up 
three Months afterwards so thoroughly that they could not save a single 
Thread), others to Cadouin, 19 others to St. John of Angely, 20 others to St 
Eutropius of Saintes, 21 St Mesmes of Chinon, 82 St. Martin of Candes, 38 
St. Cloud of Sinays, the holy Relics of Jaurezay, 24 and a thousand other 
good little Saints. 

Some died without speaking, others spoke without dying; some 

10 drones, a Celtic word signifying 
thwacks (ii. 14). 

u Mediastine, the membranous division 
of the chest into right and left, formed by 
the duplicative of the ribs under the 
sternum, towards the vertebrae (iv. 


n Nytouche [Noli me tangere), a saint 
invented by Rabelais. So St. Adauras, 
ii 17 ; St Ballctrou, it 26. 

11 Cunault, a celebrated priory in 

14 Laurette, a chapel near Angers. 

** de Bonnes Nouvelles, an abbey near 

16 Lenou, an ancient parish between 
Chinon and Richelieu. 

v N D. de Riviere, a parish in Tour- 

18 sudarium of Chambhy, a celebrated 
relic mentioned in H. JEtienne's ApoLpour 

Herod c. 24. It was said to have been 
miraculously preserved. Cf. v. 10. 

u Cadouin, i.e. to the sudarium pre- 
served at Cadouin, a Cistercian abbey in 
Perigord. According to M. des Marets, 
this relic was obtained from the clergy at 
Antioch by Bishop Eymard, and is 
authenticated by 14 papal bulls. 

" At St. Jean cTAngelym Saint onge was 
preserved a head of the Baptist, but it was 
publicly burnt by the Huguenots in 1572. 

n St. Eutropius cf Saintes in Sain- 
tonge was a preacher of the 3d century, 
and was venerated as a wonder-working 
saint on April 3a 

* St. Mesmes = St Maximus. 

** St. Martin, archbishop of Tours, 
was buried at Candes. 

** Jaureiay was a hamlet in Poitou 
containing, among other relics, the bones 
of St. Chartier. 


died speaking, others spoke dying. Others cried with a loud Voice : 
" Confession, confession, Confiteor, miserere, in manus.* 

So great was the Outcry of the wounded, that the Prior of the Abbey 
with all his Monks came forth ; who, when they saw these poor Wretches 
thus overthrown among the Vines and wounded to Death, confessed 
some of them. 

But while the Priests were amusing themselves with confessing them, 
the little Monklings ran to the Place where Friar John was, and asked 
him wherein he wished they should help him. To this he replied that 
they should cut the Throats of those who were thrown down on the 

Then leaving their great Capes upon the nearest Rails, they began to 
cut the Throats of and to finish those whom he had already crushed. 
Do you know with what Instruments ? With fair Whittles, which are 
little Half-knives, wherewith the little Children of our Country shell 

Meantime with his Staff of the Cross he reached the Breach which 
the Enemy had made. Some of the Monklings carried off the Ensigns 
and Standards into their Cells to make Garters of them. 

But when those who had been shriven tried to get out by this Breach, 
the Monk felled them with Blows, crying out : "These Men are shriven 
and repentant and have gained their Pardons ; they will go at once into 
Paradise as straight as a Sickle, or as the road to Faye." 25 

Thus by his Prowess were discomfited all those of the Army who had 
got within the Close, to the number of thirteen thousand six hundred 
and twenty-two, besides Women and little Children — that is always 

Never did Maugis 96 the Hermit bear himself so valiantly with his 
Pilgrim's Staff against the Saracens (of whom is written in the Acts of 
the Four Sons of Aymon) as did this Monk in encountering the Enemy 
with the Staff of the Cross. 

98 Faye-la-vineusii a town near Chinon, Aymon, who became a hermit, but accom- 

situated on so rugged a steep that to get panied Renaud against the Saracens and 

there one has to make the entire round of performed miracles of bravery with his 

the mountain (Duchat). pilgrim's staff (IV.JUs Aymon, cc 27, 30, 

18 MaugUy a cousin of the four sons of 31.) 


How Picrochole took by Assault La Roche-Clermaud> and the 

Reluctance and Difficulty which Grandgousier 

made in undertaking War 


While the Monk was skirmishing, as we have said, against those 
who were entered into the Close, Picrochole in great Haste passed the 
Ford of Vede 1 with his Men, and attacked La Roche-Clermaud, 2 at 
which Place was made no Resistance to him whatever. And because 
it was already Night he determined to quarter himself and his People 
in that Town, and to cool his pungent 8 Choler. 

In the Morning he stormed the Bulwarks and the Castle, which he 
repaired thoroughly and provided with requisite Munitions, thinking to 
make his Retreat there, if he should be assailed from elsewhere ; for the 
Place was strong both by Art and Nature, by reason of its Situation and 

NowJet us leave them there, a nd return to a our good Gargantu a, who 
is at Paris, very intent oh" the Stuidy of good Learning ana athletic 
Exercises, and to tb^ ffifftfl fflfl y^ ftrandynig far; his Father, who after 
Supper is warming his Cod-piece by a good, clear, and great Fire, and 
while his Chestnuts are roasting is writing on the Hearth with a Stick 
burnt at one End, wherewith they poke the Fire, 4 telling to his Wife 
and Family pleasant Stories of Times gone by. 

At this Time one of the Shepherds who was guarding the Vines, 
named Pillot, presented himself before him and related to the full the 
Outrages and Pillage which Picrochole, King of Lernl, was committing 

1 Vtd* is a small stream running into ' Fr. pungitive, Med. Lat pungi- 

the Vienne a few miles above Chinon. tivus. 

' La Rocht-CUrmaud, a place half-way 4 With all this compare TrisU Shandy > 

between Senilis and Chinon. iv. 21 (R.) 





in his Lands and Domains, and how he bntj pilTrgfri nragfad. and 
sack ed the whole Country, except the Close of S euilte, which F riar John 
o? the Trencherites had saved, to his great 
tne said King WAS lft La Roc he-Olermau l 

ZSmseii and his Men. 

" Alas ! alas ! " said Grandgousier, " what is this, good People ? Do 
I dream, or is it true that they tell me ? Picrochole, my old Friend from 
all time, in every way of my own Race and Alliance, does he come to 
attack me ? Who stirs him ? Who pricks him on ? Who leads him ? 
Who hath thus counselled him? Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, my God and 
my Saviour, help me, inspire me, counsel me as to what I ought 
to do. 

" I protest, I swear before Thee, — so mayest Thou show Favour unto 
me — that never did I Displeasure to him, Damage to his People, or 
Ravage in his Lands ; but, clean contrary, I have succoured him with 
Men, Money, Favour and Counsel, in every case where I could discern 
his Advantage. That he hath then at this point outraged me can only 
be through the Evil Spirit. Good God, Thou knowest my Courage, for 
from Thee can nothing be hidden. If it chance that he have become 
mad and that Thou hast sent him hither to me to restore his Senses, 
grant me Power and Wisdom to bring him to the Yoke of Thy holy 
Will by good Discipline. 

" Ho, ho, ho, my good People, my Friends and my loyal Servants, 
must it needs be that I summon 5 you to help me ? Alas 1 my old Age 
required henceforward nought but Repose, and all my Life I have 
sought for nothing so much as Peace. But now (I see it well) I needs 
must load with Harness my poor Shoulders, weary and weak as they 
are, and in my trembling Hand take the Lance and the Mace, to 
succour and safeguard my poor Subjects. Right will have it so ; for by 
their Labour am I maintained, by their Sweat am I nourished, myself 
my Children and my Family. 

" This not withs tanding, I wi ll not unde rtake War till I ha ve trie<jl all 
the^A xtS Jtnd Me anslof P eaceTN jn thatTl anwpsfcjypd^ r 

Then he caused his Council to be convoked, and set forth the 
Matter just as it was. And it was determined that they should send 
some discreet Man to Picrochole, to know wherefore he had thus 
suddenly fallen away from Peace and invaded those Lands to which he 
had no Right whatever. Further, that they should send for Gargantua 

■ summon, Ft. empescher. Used here 
in the old legal sense of to claim a right 
as a Seigneur ; not in its usual sense, to 

hinder, which makes nonsense. Cf. Du 
Cange, s.v. Impechiare, which, as weU as 
empescher, he derives from impetere. 

chap, xxvin GARGANTUA 107 

and his People for the Preservation of the Country and its Defence in 
its present Need. All this was pleasing to Grandgousier, and he com- 
manded that so it should be done. 

Whereupon he at once sent his Basque Lackey to bring Gargantua 
with all Diligence. And he wrote to him as follows : 




The Tenour of the Letter Grandgousier wrote to Gargantua 

" The Fervency of thy Studies required that for a long time I should not 
recall thee from thy philosophic Repose, if the Presumption 1 of our 
Friends and former Allies had not at this present broken in upon the 
Security of my old Age. But since such is my fated Destiny, that I 
should be disquieted by those in whom I most trusted, it is necessary 
for me to recall thee to the Help of the People and the Property, 
which by natural Right are entrusted * to thee. 

"For even as Arms are powerless abroad unless there be good 
Counsel at home, 8 so is Study vain and Counsel unprofitable, which at 
a fitting Season is not carried out and put into Effect by Valour. 

" My Intention is not to provoke but to appease ; not to assault but 
to defend; not to make Conquests but to guard m y loyal Subjects and 
hereditar y TVinjjnfo ns : into w% ft pi™™4^iA hoc ^ntwj j n a hngHj* 
manner without Cause or Occasion, and from day to day pursueth his 
nirious .Enterprise ffjfrh K.v™»c e ~ »i» Q f Q f»7 n fri»ra hle to free-born Men . 

" I have made it my Duty to moderate his tyrannical Choler, offering 
him all that which I thought might give him Satisfaction ; and several 
times have I sent loving Messages to him, to learn wherein, by whom, 
and how he felt himself wronged; but from him have I had no Answer but 
wilful Defiance, and that in my Lands he pretended to no Right save 
that of his own good Pleasure. Whereby I discerned that the eternal 
God hath given him over to the Guidance of his free Will and his 
own Understanding, which cannot choose but be wicked, if it be not 
continually guided by Divine Grace ; and that He hath sent him hither 

1 Presumption, Fr. confiance hcre= have affiance in Thee" (Prayer for the 

Lat confidential Queen in the Litany). 

s Fr. affUs, Lat adfidar*. CI Du « " Parvi enim fork sunt anna nisi sit 

Cange, s.v. "That she may evermore consilium domi" (Cic Off.l22>% 76). 

chap, xxix GARGANTUA 109 

to me, to keep him in his Duty and to bring him to know himself by 
painful Experience. 

"Therefore, my well-beloved Son, upon Sight of this Letter, 4 return 
hither as soon as thou canst with all Diligence, to succour, not me so 
much (which in any case, in Duty 5 thou art naturally bound to do) as 
thine own People, whom by Reason thou oughtest to save and guard. 
The Exploit shall be carried out with as little Effusion of Blood as shall 
be possible ; and if it may be, by Devices more expeditious, by Sleights 
and Stratagems of War, we shall save all the Souls and send them merry 
to their Homes. 

" My dearest Son, the Peace of Christ our Redeemer be with thee. 

" Salute from me Ponocrates, Gymnast and Eudemon. 

11 This twentieth of September. 

"Thy Father, Grandgousier." 

4 Fr. ces Uttres=laX. hoe litterae. 
• Fr. pitti=piiti y Lat pittas. C£ i 7, n. 3 ; v. Prol. n. 13. 



How Ulrich Gullet was sent unto Picrochole 

The Letter being dictated and signed, Grandgousier ordered that Ulrich 
Gallet his Master of Requests, a wise and discreet Man, whose Merit 
and good Advice he had proved in difficult and debateful Affair s, should 

£Q UntO Picrochole tO set forth tO him w hat had hftpn rP>gr>1ypH nnnn ty 


At that same Hour the good man Gallet set forth, and having passed 
the Ford, asked the Miller of the Condition of Picrochole; who 
answered him that his Soldiers had left him neither Cock nor Heo^gnd 
that they had shut themselves in La Roche- ClermaucL^ and that he 
would not advise him to proceed farther for Fear of the Scouts, for that 
their Fury was enormous. Which he readily believed, and lodged that 
Night with the Miller. 

The next Morning he betook himself with a Trumpeter to the Gate of 
the Castle, and required of the Guards that they should bring him to 
speak to the King for his Advantage. 

These Words being reported to the King, he would in no wise con- 
sent that they should open the G ate, but h e we nt himself on to d ie 
]Rff"nrti t nA s^d to the Ambassador: "Wnat is tne News? What 
do you wish to say ? " 

Then the Ambassador began to speak as follows : 


The Harangue made by Gallet to Picrochole 

" No juster Cause of Grief can arise among Men, than when from the 
Source from which by right they should expect Favour and Goodwill, 
they receive Hurt and Damage. And not without Cause (although 
without Reason) many, having fallen into such Ill-fortune, have esteemed 
this Indignity less supportable than the Loss of their own Life ; and in 
case that they have not been able to correct this by Force or other 
Device, they have deprived themselves of this Light 

" It is, therefore, no wonder if King Grandgousier, my Master, is full 
of high Displeasure and perturbed in his Mind at thy furious and 
hostile Approach; wonderful would it be if he were not stirred by 
the unparalleled Excesses, which have been committed by thee and thy 
People upon his Lands and Subjects ; towards whom has been omitted 
no Example of Inhumanity. This of itself is to him so grievous, from 
the hearty Affection wherewith he hath always cherished his Subjects, 
that it could not be more so to any mortal Man. Ye t in this it is to 
him above jmman Apprehension grievous, in that it is by thee and 
tjype tfiat these Wrongs and Offences have been committed. By thee, 
who from all recorded Time and the Times of old, thou and thy 
Fathers, hadst kept up a Friendship with him and all his Ancestors ; 
which up to the present you had together inviolably maintained, kept 
and preserved as sacred ; so much so, that not only he and his People, 
but barbarous Nations, Poitevins, Bretons, Manceaux and those who 
dwell beyond the Canary Islands and Isabella, 1 have thought it as easy 
to pull down the Firmament and to set up the Depths above the Clouds 
as to put asunder your Alliance ; and they have so much dreaded it in 

1 Isabella. The first town built by Columbus laid its foundations in 1493 on 
Europeans in America. Christopher the north side of Hispaniola (Hayti). 


their Enterprises, that they have never dared to provoke, irritate or do 
Harm to the one, through Fear of the other. 

" Nay further, this sacred Friendship hath so filled this Side of the 
World that there are few People at this time dwelling throughout all 
the Continent and the Isles of the Ocean who have not ambitiously 
aspired to be received into it, on Covenants made on your own 
Conditions ; esteeming a Confederation with you as highly as their own 
Lands and Dominions, so that in all the recorded Past there has been 
no Prince or League so savage or haughty, who has dared to invade, I 
do not say your Territories, but those of your Confederates. And if by 
headstrong Counsel they have attempted any new Design against them, 
on hearing of the Name and Title of your Alliance, they have at once 
desisted from their Enterprises. What Madness then stirs thee now, 
breaking through all Alliance, treading underfoot all Friendship, trans- 
gressing all Right, to invade his Land as an Enemy, without having 
been by him or his in any way injured, irritated or provoked ? Where 
is Faith ? Where is Law ? Where is Reason ? Where is Humanity ? 
Where is the Fear of God? Thinkest thou that these Wrongs are 
hidden from the eternal Spirits and from the Supreme God who is the 
just Rewarder of all our Undertakings? If thou dost so think, thou 
deceivest thyself, for all Things will come before his Judgment. 

" Is it the fatal Destinies or the Influence 2 of the Stars, which desire 
to put an End to thy Ease and Rest? Thus it is that all Things have 
their End and Period, and when they have come to their highest Point 
they are utterly thrown down ; for they cannot remain long in such a 
Condition. This is the End of those who cannot by Reason and 
Temperance moderate their Fortunes and Prosperities. 

" But if it was so destined and ordered by Fate 8 that thy Happiness 
and Ease should come to an End, must it needs occur in troubling my 
King, him by whom thou wert set up ? If thy House was doomed to 
fall in Ruin, must it therefore in its Ruin fall on the Hearth 4 of him 
who had furnished it ? The Matter is so far beyond the bounds of 
Reason, so repugnant to Common Sense, that it can hardly be conceived 
by human Understanding, and will remain incredible to Strangers, until 
its undoubted and testified Effect has made them perceive that nothing 
is holy or sacred to those who have emancipated themselves from God 
and Reason, to follow the Bent of their perverse Affections. 

Bending one way their precious inftutnce. « Hearth, Fr. atres, Lat. atria. 

Milton's Hymn cm th* Nativity. 




" If any Wrong had been wrought by us to thy Subjects and Dominions, 
if Countenance had been shown by us to thy Ill-wishers, if we had not 
succoured thee in thy Affairs, if thy Name and Fame had by us been 
wounded ; or (to speak more truly) if the Calumniating Spirit, attempting 
to bring thee to Evil, had by deceitful Appearances and mocking 
Fantasies put into thy Understanding the Belief that we had been 
guilty towards thee of anything unworthy of our ancient Friendship, 
thou oughtest first to have enquired into the Truth thereof and then tn 
gHmnni^ K us nf itj and we would have so satisfied thee to thy Heart's 
Desire that thou shouldest have had Occasion to be contented. But, O 
eternal God I what is thy Enterprise ? Wouldest thou as a perfidious 
Tyrant thus pillage and lay waste the Kingdom of my Master ? Hast 
thou found him so cowardly and blockish that he would not, or so 
destitute of Men and Money, of Counsel and military Skill, that he 
could not resist thy unjust Assaults ? 

" Depart hence presently, and to-morrow during the Day retire into 
thy own Territory, without committing any Disorder or Violence by the 
way ; and pay withal a thousand Besants* of Gold for the Damage thou 
hast wrought in his Land : half shalt thou pay to-morrow, the other half 
on the Ides of May next coming, leaving with us meantime for Hostages 
the Dukes of Tournemoule, Basdefesses and Menuail, together with the 
Prince of Gratelles and the Viscount of Morpiaille." 

6 Bezants (i. 51). So called from during the 2d (Carlovingian) dynasty in 
Byzantium, where they were coined. France, but their weight and value 
They were in considerable currency fluctuated (Duchat). 



How Grandgousier, to buy Peace, caused the Cakes to be restored 

With that the good man Gallet was silent ; but Picrochole to all his 
Discourse gave no other Answer save : "Come and fetch them, come 
and fetch them. They have a good Pestle and Mortar 1 here; they 
will knead some Cakes for you." 

Then he returned to Grandgousier, whom he found on his Knees, 
bareheaded, bending low in a little Corner of his Chamber, praying 
God that he would vouchsafe to assuage the Choler of Picrochole and 
.bring him to Reason, without proceeding thereto by Force. 

When he saw the good Man returned, he asked him : " Ha, my 
Friend, my Friend, what News do you bring me ? " 
/ "All Order is orderless," said Gallet \ "the Man is quite out of his 
Senses and forsaken of God." ~~ " 

" Yea, but," said Grandgousier, " my Friend, what Cause doth he put 
forward for this Outrage ? " 

" He hath set forth to me no Cause whatever," said Gallet, " save 
that in great Anger he said some words about Cakes. I 'know not but 
there may have been some Wrong done to his Cake-bakers." 

"I will thoroughly understand it," said Grandgbusier, "before re- 
solving any further upon what should be done." 

Then he sent to know about this Business, and found that indeed 
some Cakes had been taken by Force from Picrochole's People, and 
that Marquet had received a Blow of a Cudgel on his Head ; never ; 
theless everything foaH hre* p well paid for, and the said Marquet had 
first wounded Forgier with his Whip over the Lees^ And it appeared 
to all his Council that he ought to defend himself with all his Might 

"This notwithstanding," Grandgousier said; "since it is only a 

_ K — » 

1 Fr. ilz ont belle couille et molle. mortar ; and molU, which Duchat would 
CouilU in old French was used for a spell mouU, was a pestle. 




^Question of a few Cakes, I will endeavour to conte nt him ; for it is ( 
entirely against my Will to wage War. " ' " 

ne made Enquiries how many Cakes had been taken, and 

hearing that there were four or five Dozen, he commanded that five Cart- 
loads should be made that very Night, and that one of them should be 
of Cakes made with fresh Butter, fine Yolks of Eggs, fine Saffron and 
fine Spices, to be bestowed upon Marquet, and that for his Damages 2 
he ordered to be given seven hundred thousand and three Philippuses 3 
to pay the Barber-surgeons who had dressed his Wound ; and over and 
above he gave him the Farm of La Pommardifere 4 in Freehold to him 
and his Heirs for ever. 

To conduct and carry through all this, Gallet was sent, who, as they 
went, caused his Men to pluck near the Willow-plantation great store of 
Boughs, Reeds and Catkins, and made them garnish the Carts around 
with them, and each of the Carters ; he himself carried one in his Hand, 
wishing thereby to give them to understand that they asked only for } 
Peace, and that they were come to purchase it. ' 

When they had come to the Gate, they asked to speak with Picro- 
chole on the part of Grandgousier. Picrochole would not allow them 
Entrance on any Terms, nor go to speak with them ; and he sent them 
word that he was busy, but that they might say what they wished to Cap- 
tain Toucquedillon, who was mounting a piece of Ordnance on the Walls. 

Then said the good Man to him : " My Lord, to cut away every Handle 
for Dispute, and to remove every Excuse against your returning to our 
former Alliance, we do hereby restore unto you the Cakes which are in 
Controversy. Our People took five Dozen ; they were very well paid 
for ; we love Peace so well that we restore unto you five Cart-loads, of 
which this one here is for Marquet, who has most to complain of. 
Furthermore, to content him entirely, here are seven hundred thousand 
and three Philippuses which I deliver to him ; and for the Damages he 
might claim, I give up to him the Farm of La Pommardifere in Perpetuity 
to him and his Heirs, to be held in Fee-simple. 5 See here is the Deed 

' Fr. interestz. Cf. i. 8, n. 9. 

* Philippuses, It is not easy to assign 
this coin to any French king, so it seems 
not unreasonable to refer it to the staters 
of Philip II., King of Macedonia, whose 
gold coinage was so current in the ancient 
world. Cf. Hor. Epp. ii. 1, 234 : "Regale 
nomisma PhiJippos." This coin is con- 
stantly mentioned by Plautus. 

4 La Pommarditre, ue. as a salve for 

his pommade or pummelling. According 
to Regis, there was a farm of this name 
near Chinon. 

franc-alloy (or alien), the same word 
as allodium, which is said by Brachet to 
be ' Merovingian Latin.' According to 
Blackstone, it is a man's own land, which 
he possesses merely in his own right, 
without owing any rent or service to any 
superior (Skeat). 



of Conveyance. And for God's sake let us live hereafter in Peace, and 
do you withdraw into your Lands cheerfully giving up this Region here, 
in which you have no Kignt whatever, as you yourselves confess, and let 
us be Friends as before. " 

Toucquedillon related the whole of this to Picrochole, and more 
and more exasperated his Courage, saying to him : 

" These Clowns be rarely afraid. Perdy ! Grandgousier bewrayeth 
1 himself, poor Toper ; it is not his Art to go to War but much rather to 
1 empty Flagons. I am of Opinion that we hold fast to these Cakes and 
the Money, and for the rest that we fortify ourselves here with all Speed 
and follow up our Fortune. What ! do they think they have to do 
with a Ninny-whoop, that they feed you with these Cakes ? That is 
what it is ; the good Treatment and great Familiarity that you have 
hitherto held with them hath made you contemptible 6 in their eyes : 

Lick a Villain, he will kick you ; 
Kick a Villain, he will lick you. 7 

" Sa, sa, sa," said Picrochole, " by St James, they shall catch it : do 
as you have said." 

" Of one thing," said Toucquedillon, " I wish to warn you. We 
are here badly enough victualled, and but meagrely provided with Arms 
for the Stomach. If Grandgousier were to lay Siege to us, I should go 
this Moment and have all my Teeth drawn, so that only three should 
remain, and so for your Soldiers as well as myself. Even with them, we 
shall only go on too fast in devouring our Provisions." 

Said Picrochole : " We shall have only too much Victuals. Are we 
here to eat or to fight ? " 

" Certainly to fight," said Toucquedillon ; " but 

From the Paunch comes the Dance, 8 


Stomach famished, Strength is banished." 

" Prating too much ! " said Picrochole. " Seize upon what they 
have brought." 

And so they seized Mo ney and Cakes, Ox en and Carts, and sent off 
the^ Men without saying a Word, only that they were not to come so 
near again, for a Reason that should be told them to-mo rrow. 

Thus without doing anything they returned to Grandgousier, and 
recounted the whole Matter to him ; adding that there was no Hope to 
bring them to Peace save by a sharp and fierce War. 

• Grand privautl engendre vilitl. 

Coquillart, i. p. 7. « Car la danse vient de la panic 

7 Ungentem punget pungentem Rusticus unget. Villon, Gd. Test. 95. 

T. U. 


How certain Ministers of Picrochole, by headstrong Counsel, 

put him in extreme Peril 

After the Cakes had been ransacked, there appeared before Picrochole 
the Duke of Menuail, Count Spadassin and Captain Merdaille, and 
said to him : 

"Sire, 1 this day we make you the happiest and most chivalrous 
Prince that ever was since the Death of Alexander the Macedonian." 

" Be covered, be covered," said Picrochole. 

" Grammercy, Sire," said they ; " we present you our humble Duty. 
The Manner is as follows : 

" You will leave her e some Captain in Garrison, with a small Band o f 
Men to Ejuard the Place , wnicn seems to us strong enough, bv Nature as 
well as by the Fortifications of your devising. 

"You will divide your Army into two Parts, as you know well how to da 

"The one Part will go and fall upon this Gran dgousier and his Men. 
By this he will at the very first Attack easily be dis&HllflltHl. Ihire""^ 
you will gain Money in Heaps ; for the Clown hath enough and to 
spare. Cloum, say we, because a noble Prince hath never a Penny. 8 / 
To hoard up Treasure is the act of a Clown. 

^ffte other Part rnVflnrirr)** will foaw towards O nys, Saintonge, 
Angomois and Gascony; with that Perigord, Medoc and Elanes.* 

1 Sire is the reading of the edd. before 
1535, Cyre subsequently. This is put 
down as derived from the Greek tctpios. 
Can it possibly be from KGpos, Cyrus, 
Xenophon's model ruler and conqueror, 
or the great King of Persia ? 

* Un noble prince un gentil roy 
N'a jamais ne pile ne croix. 

French Proverb. 

* Elanes. According to Duchat, this 
should be written is Laws, and in ii. 23 we 
should read des Lanes. Les Landes is 
more general than Us Lanes, compre- 
hending the shUchaussU of Dax, of Bour- 
dekris, of Bazadois, of l'Armagnac, of 
Mont de Marsan and the duchy d'Albret 
Les Lanes is only that part which is under 
the presidency of Dax, and is called la 
slnichaussie des Lanes. 


Without Resistance they will take Towns, Castles and Fortresses. At 
Bayonne, St John-de-Luc, and at Fontarabia you will seize all the 
Shipping, and coasting along towards Galicia and Portugal, you will sack 
all the Seaports as far as Ulisbonne, 4 where you will have all the Rein- 
forcement required by a Conqueror. 'Sbody, Spain will surrender, for 
they are but a set of Loggerheads. You will pass by the Strait of 
Sibyle 6 and there will you erect two Pillars more magnificent than 
those of He rcules, for the perpetual M emory ot your JName,"anci fE js 
Strait shall be caii ^n \*\% p'rroriiollnic kea. 

" When you have passed the Picrocholinic Sea, behold Barbarossa 
yields himself your slave." 

" I will take him," said Picrochole, " with free Pardon." 

" Nay," said they, " provided he have himself christened. 

"And you will take by Storm the Kingdoms of Tunis, Hippo, 
Algiers, Bona, Corona, yea all Barbary. Going further, you will take 
into your hand Majorca, Minorca, Sardinia, Corsica and the other 
Isles of the Ligurian and Balearic Sea. Coasting along by the left, you 
will become Master of all Gallia Narbonensis, Provence and the Allo- 
brogians, Genoa, Florence, Lucca, and then Good-bye to r Rome. Poor 
, Mon sieur the Pope is already dying with Fear ." 
1 " !by my Faith," said Picrochole, " I'll none kiss his Slipper." 

" Italy taken, see Naples, Calabria, Apulia and Sicily all ransacked, 
and Malta too. I only wish those jovial Knights, formerly of Rhodes, 
would resist you, to see their Funk." 

" I would willingly," said Picrochole, " go to Loretta." 

" Not at all, not at all," said they. " That will be on your return. 

" From there we will take Candia, Cyprus, Rhodes and the Cyclades 
Islands and fall upon the Morea, We have it at once. By Saint 
Treignan, 8 the Lord preserve Jerusalem ! for the Soldan is not compar- 
able to you in Power." 

" I will then," said he, " have Solomon's Temple rebuilt." 

"No, not yet," said they; "wait a little. Never be too hasty in 
your Undertakings. Do you know what Octavian Augustus used to 
• Suet a. ^ say ? *Ftstina lentc. 

"It is right that you should first have Asia Minor, Caria, Lycia, 

4 Ulisbonne, i.e. Ulysses* town = Lis- 7 adieus ias t Provencal for & Dieu soii. 

bon. 8 Saint Treignan is the Scotch saint, 

6 Sibyle, Lat. Abyla, the rock oppo- as St. George is the English, St. Patrick 

site Calpe (Gibraltar) ; now Sebta. the Irish (ii. 9, iv. 9, Pant. Prog. c. 6). 

6 Corona = Cyrene, of which the Ruins of his church survive in Shetland, 

modern name is Corene. and he is invoked by sailors in a storm (R.) 




Pamphylia, Cilicia, Lydia, Phrygia, Mysia, Bithynia, Carrasia, Satalia, 
Samagaria, Castamena, Luga, Sehast£ right up to the Euphrates." 

" Shall we see," said Picrochole, " Babylon and Mount Sinai ? n 

" There is no Need for it," said they, " at this Time. Have we not 
ranged far enough in having crossed the Hyrcanian Sea, ridden over the 
two Armenias and the three Arabias ? " 

" By my Faith," he said, " we are all dead Men. Ha, poor Souls !" 

" What is the Matter ? " said they. 

" What shall we have to drink in these Deserts ? For Julian 
Augustus 9 and all his Host died there of Thirst, as the Story goes." 

" We have already given Order for that," said they. "In the Syri ac 
Sea yo u have nine thousand and fourteen great Ships, laden with the best ^1 

ey have come to jafll 1 MB MflVS B6en tound 

sixte en huncired Elephants , 
^when you entered 

r ines in tne won 

twenty-two hundred thousand C 

jrhich you have tafcen at one Hunting near Si 

into Libya ; and besides this, you had all the Caravan to Mecca. Did 

they not furnish you with a Sufficiency of Wine ? " 

"Yes," said he; "but we did not drink it fresh." 

" By the Powers," said they, " not of a little Fish ! u A mighty Man, 
a Conqueror, one who pretends and aspires to Universal Empire can- 
not always have his Ease. God be praised that you have come, you 
and your Men, safe and sound as far as the River Tigris." 

" But," said he, " all this time what is being done by that Part of our 
Army which discomfited the swill-pot Clown Grandgousier ? " 

"They are not idle," said they; "we shall soon meet them. They 
have taken Brittany, Normandy, Flanders, Hainault, Brabant, Artois, 
Holland and Zealand. They have crossed the Rhine over the Bellies 
of the Switzers and Lansknechts, and part of them have subdued 
Luxemburg, Lorraine, Champaigne, Savoye as far as Lyons, in which 
place they have found your Garrisons returning from the naval Con- 
quests of the Mediterranean Sea; and they have reassembled in Bohemia, 
after having sacked Suevia, Wiirtemberg, Bavaria, Austria, Moravia and 
Styria; then they have together fiercely set upon Liibeck, Norway, 
Sweden, Riga, Dacia, 12 Gothia, Greenland and the Easterlings 1S as far 

9 Julian the Apostate thus lost his army 
and his life, 363 A.D., owing to the 
treachery of Parthians (Amm. MarcelL 
w. 3). 

19 Sigeilmes. Esmangart suggests that 
this is a corruption of Sichem, the modern 

u Vertus turn pas (Fun petit poisscn. 
Vertus fun petit poisscn,uL 3a and iv. 52. 

u Dacia is the name given to Den- 
mark by Aeneas Sylvius, Hist Europ. 


u Easterlings may be the old Saxons 
or the Hanseatics (R.) 


o& o o 

c> o 


as the Frozen Sea. This done, they have conquered the Isles of 
Orkney and subjugated Scotland, England and Ireland. From there 
sailing through the Sandy Sea 14 and by the Sarmatians, they have 
conquered and dominated Prussia, Poland, Lithuania, Russia, Wallachia, 
Trans-Silvania and Hungary, Bulgaria and Turkey, and are now at Con- 
stantinople. 91 

"Let us go," said Picrochole, "and betake ourselves to them as 
soon as possible, for I wish also to be Emperor of Trebizond. Shall we 
not kill all these Dogs of Turks and Mahometans ? " 

" What a' Devil else shall we do?" said they. " Yes, and you will give 
their Goods and Lands to those who shall have served you faithfully." 

" Reason," said he, " will have it so. It is but just I give you 
Carmania, 15 Syria and all Palestine." 

"Ah, Sire," said they, "it is your Goodness. Grammercy; God 
grant that you may always prosper." 

There was present there at that time an old Gentleman experienced 
in divers Hazards, a very old Soldier in War, named Echephron, who, 
hearing this Discourse, said : 

" I am greatly afraid that all this Enterprise will be like the Farce 16 
of the Pitcher of Milk, wherewith a Cordwainer made himself rich in his 
Day-dreams ; and afterwards when the Pitcher was broken, had not where- 
with to make a Dinner. What do you propose by these fine Conquests ? 
What will be the End of all these Travails and Travels ? " 

"It will be," said Picrochole, "that when we have returned we shall 
repose at our Ease." 

Then said Echephron : 17 " And if by chance you should never return 
from there, for the Voyage is long and dangerous. Is it not better that 
we should take our Ease now at once, without putting ourselves to these 

j " O," said Spadassin, " Perdy ! here is a fine Dotard ; why, let us 

go hide in the Chimney-corner, and there spend our Life and our Time 
with the Ladies, stringing Pearls or spinning like Sardanapalus. 

14 The Sandy Sea (Pontus Sabulosu s of his charming novel (xii.) la lait&re et U 

Ptolemy, Lat. ed.) seems to be the Katte- pot au fait, popularised afterwards by La 

gat, Great Belt, and the straits between Fontaine. 

Scandinavia and Denmark, all of which v This episode of the advice of Eche- 

are full of shoals. phron, indeed the whole chapter, is an 

18 Carmania. The modern Kirman, a adaptation and amplification of the 14th 

province of Persia lying to the west of chapter of Plutarch's life of Pyrrhus, King 

Beloochistan, reaching down to the Straits of Epirus, whom his minister Cineas vainly 

of Ormuz. attempted to dissuade from attacking the 

M This farce supplied Des Periers with Romans. 

chap, xxxiii GARGANTUA 121 

Whoso nothing ventures, 
Hath nor Horse nor Mule : 
So saith Solomon" 
" Whoso too much ventures" 
quoth Echephron, " Loseth Horse and Mule : 

Answereth MaJcon." u 

" Enough," said Picrochole ; " let us go on. I only fear these 
devilish Legions of Grandgousier : while we are in Mesopotamia, if they 
set upon our Rear, what Remedy ? " 

"A very good one," said Merdaille. "A nice little Order, which 
you will send round to the Muscovites, will put in the Field for you in a 
moment four hundred and fifty thousand picked fighting Men. O only 
make me your Lieutenant-general, and I would kill a Comb for a 
Pedlar. 19 I bite, I charge, I smite, I seize, I slay, I abjure everything." 

"On, on," said Picrochole, "let all be got ready. Let him that 
loves me, follow." 

18 Mohan. It is very doubtful who is u Comb for a Pedlar, The speaker, 

intended, whether a King Malcolm of in his excitement, reverses the order ; he 

Scotland ; Malchion, the orator of Antioch, meant to say " a Pedlar for a Comb," i.e. 

of the 3d century ; or St. Malch, the he would take a man's life for the merest 

celebrated hermit. trifle. 



How Gargantua left the City of Paris to succour his Country, 
and how Gymnast encountered the Enemy 

At this self-same Hour Gargantua, who had gone forth from Paris im- 
mediately on reading his Father's Letter, riding on his great Mare, had 
already passed the Nun's Bridge, 1 himself, Ponocrates, Gymnast and 
Eudemon ; who to follow him had taken post Horses. The rest of his 
Train came on by even Journeys, bringing all his Books and philo- 
sophical Apparatus. 

When he had arrived at Parilll s he was informed by the Farmer of 
Gouguet, how Picrochole had entrenched himself in La Roche-Clermaud 
and had sent Captain Tripet with a huge Army to attack the Wood of 
Vede and Vaugaudry, and that they had utterly ravaged everything, 
Cocks and Hens alike, 8 as far as the Wine-press of Billard, and that it 
was strange and hard to be believed, what Excesses they were carrying 
on throughout the Country; insomuch that Gargantua was affrighted 
and did not well know what to say or what to da 

But Ponocrates counselled him that they should proceed to the 
Lord de la Vauguyon, 4 who at all times had been their Friend and Ally, 
and that they should be better advised by him on the State of things ; 
which they did incontinently, and found him steadily determined to 
assist them. _He was of Opinion that Gargantua should send some one 
of his Men to reconnoitre the Country, and to learn in what Condition 

the Enemy were, in order that they might proceed thither by Plans 
formed accordingUathe present State of things. Gymnast offered him- 
self to go ; but it was determined, as the better Course, that he should 

1 Near Chinon, now destroyed. 4 de la Vauguyon here refers, not to 

' ParilU % about a mile from Chinon the noble house of this name in Brittany, 
(L 25). * Fr. count lapoullc but a place near Chinon ; L 43. 

chap, xxxiv GARGANTUA 123 

take with him some one who knew the Ways and By-paths, and the 
Rivers thereabout 

Then they set out, he and Prelinguand, an Esquire of Vauguyon, 
and without giving Alarm they scouted on all Sides. Meantime Gar- 
gantua refreshed himself and took some Food with his Men, and ordered 
to be given to his Mare a Hcotin of Oats, that is, threescore and fourteen 
Quarters and three Bushels. 

Gymnast and his Companion rode on till they fell in with the Enemy, 
all scattered and in Disarray, pillaging and plundering all that they 
could ; and from as far off as they could see him they ran up in Crowds 
to ransack him. 

Then he cried out to them : " My Masters, I am a poor Devil : I 
beg of you to have mercy on me. I have yet one Crown left ; we will 
drink it, for it is aurutn potabik* and this Horse here shall be sold to 
pay my Welcome ; that done, take me as one of your own Men, for 
never was there man who knew better to take, lard, roast, and dress, nay, 
perdy ! to dismember and devour a Hen, than I that am here ; and for 
my proficiat* I drink to all good Companions.' 1 

Then he undid his Leathern Bottle, 7 and without putting his Nose 
therein he took a handsome Draught. The Chuffs looked at him, 
opening their Mouth a full Foot wide, and putting out their Tongues 
like Greyhounds, in Expectation to drink after him ; but at this point 
up came Tripet, their Captain, to see what was the matter. 

To him Gymnast offered his Bottle saying: "Take it, Captain, 
drink boldly from it ; I have made Proof of it ; it is Wine of La Faye 
Monjau." 8 

"What!" said Tripet, "this Johnny is gibing at us. Who art 

nymnait mid - u \ am a poor Devil " 

"Ha!" said Tripet, "sincetnoITart a poor Devil, 'tis reason that 
thou shouldst go thy Way, for every poor Devil goes free everywhere 
without Tax or Toll. But it is not the Custom for poor Devils to be so 
well mounted Therefore, Master Devil, come down, that I may have 
the Horse, and if he does not carry me well, Master Devil, you shall 
carry me, for I much like the Notion that a Devil like you should carry . 
me off." 

* aurum potabilt. This was the form it is used here in a different but obvious 

into which the chymists tried to reduce sense, 

gold so that it might serve as a medi- 6 proficiat. C£ i. 17. 

cament taken internally, and, as the y Fr. fcrriere (ii. 27, iv. 43). 

most perfect of substances, be a panacea 8 A village of les Deux-Sevres 10 miles 

lor all diseases. Cf. v. 16. Of course from Niort^it one time celebrated for its wine. 



How Gymnast nimbly killed Captain Tripet and others of 

PicrochoUs Men 

When they heard these Words, some amongst them began to be afrai 

and ctos saH thgmsgfrfs wit h all their Hands, thinking tnat this was a 
Devil in disguise. 

Ihen oneoi tnem named Good John, Captain of the Franc-taupins, 1 
drew his Prayer-book out of his Cod-piece and cried aloud : " "Ayios 6 
• ex i. 42. Beo?. 2 If thou be of God, speak 3 if thou be of the a Other Spirit, get 
thee gone." Yet went he not away ; and several of the Band heard 
this and departed out of the Company ; all which Gymnast did remark 
and consider. 

Wherefore he made Semblance to alight from his Horse, and when 
he was poised on the mounting (/.<?. left) Side he nimbly performed the 
Stirrup-leather Feat, with his Backsword by his Side, and passing under- 
neath he let himself go into the Air, and placed himself with his two Feet 
on the Saddle and his Back turned towards the Horse's Head. Then 
he said : " My Case goes backwards. 11 

Then in the very same Posture that he was, he fetched a Gambol on 
one Foot, and turning to the left, failed not to recover his proper Position 
without missing a Jot 

Then said Tripet : " Ha, I will not do that at this time, and for a 
good Reason." 

" Bah 1 " said Gymnast, " I failed ; I am going to do this Leap back- 

Then by great Strength and Agility he fetched the Gambol as before, 

1 Franc-taupins, A body of sappers not distinguished for courage. Cf. ii. 7, 

and miners (getting, their name from iii. 8. 

taupe, a mole) formed by Charles VII. ' The first words of the Greek prayer 

and abolished by Louis XII. They were called Tpicdyior. 

chap, xxxv GARGANTUA 125 

turning to the Right This done, he put the Thumb of his right 
Hand on the Saddle-bow and raised the whole of his Body into the Air, 
supporting himself entirely by the Muscle and Nerve of the said Thumb, 
and so turned himself round three times. At the fourth Turn reversing 
his whole Body without touching anything, he gathered himself together 
between his Horse's two Ears, holding stiffly 8 the whole of his Body in 
the Air on the Thumb of his left Hand, and in that Posture performed 
the Miller's Flourish ; 4 then clapping the Flat of his Hand on the Middle 
of the Saddle, he gave himself such a Swing that he seated himself on 
the Crupper, as do our Gentlewomen. 

This done, he quite easily passed his right Leg over the Saddle and 
put himself in Posture to ride en croup. 

" But," said he, " it were better for me to get between the Saddle- 

Then supporting himself on the Thumbs of his two Hands on the 
Cfrupper before him he threw himself backwards Heels over Head in 
the Air and came down between the Saddle-bows in a good Seat : then 
with a Somersault he raised the whole of his Body into the Air, and 
so stood with his Feet together between the Pommels, and there turned 
round more than a hundred times 6 with his Arms extended like a 
Cross, and as he did so he cried out with a loud Voice : "I rage, Devils, 
I rage, I rage : hold me, Devils, hold me, hold me." 

Whilst he was thus vaulting, the Chuffs in great Amazement said 
one to the other: "By the Halidame, 'tis a Goblin or a Devil thus 
disguised : 

Ab hoste maligno 
Libera nos> Domine." 

And so they fled headlong, looking behind them as a Dog when he runs 
off with a Goose's wing. 

Then Gymnast, seeing his Advantage, got down from his Horse, 
drew his Sword, and laid on great Blows on the highest-crested of them, 
and overthrew them in great Heaps, wounded, damaged and bruised, 
without any one resisting him (for they thought he was a starved Devil, 
as much on account of his wonderful Feats in vaulting as by the talk 
Tripet had held with him, calling him poor Devil), except that Tripet 
would traitorously have cleft his Skull with his Lansknecht Sword ; but 
he was well armed and felt nothing of this Stroke but the Weight of the 

s Fr. soudant ; solidando (Duchat). this chapter to this point in Tristram 

4 U tour du maulinet. Shandy (v. 29) as an illustration of the 

■ Sterne has reproduced the whole of quibbles of polemical theology. 


Blow. Upon this he suddenly turned round and let drive a feint 
Thrust at the said Tripet, and while he was defending himself above he 
sliced him through with a single Blow, Stomach, Colon and the half of 
his Liver ; whereby he fell to the Earth, and as he fell he gave up more 
than four Pottles of Potage, and his Soul mingled with the Potage. 

This done, Gymnast withdrew, considering that we ought never to 
pursue Strokes of Luck to their full Extent, and that it is fitting for all 
Cavaliers to use their good Fortune with Moderation, without harassing 
or distressing her. And so mounting his Horse he set Spurs to him, 
riding straight on the Road to Vauguyon, and Prelinguand with him. 


How Gargantua demolished the Castle at the Ford-efJZzfs, 

and how they passed the Fori 

As soon as he had come thither, he recounted the Condition in which 
he had found the Enemy and the Stratagem he had used single-handed 
against all their Band ; declaring that they were nothing but Marauders, 
Plunderers and Brigands, ignorant of all military Discipline, and 
advising them boldly to set forward, for it would be very easy for them 
to strike them down like Beasts. 

Then Gargantua mounted on his great Mare, accompanied as we 
have before described, and finding on his way a tall and large Alder 1 — 
which was commonly called St. Martin's Tree, because a Pilgrim's Staff, 
which St Martin formerly planted there, had grown to that Size — said : 
" See, here is what I wanted ; this Tree will serve me as a Staff and a 
Lance." With that he tore it easily from the Earth, plucked off its 
Boughs and trimmed it tohjsiyung^y 

Meantime his Mare stSeatoease her Belly; but it was in such 
Ab undant thai It caus ed a JJeiug e tor seven Leagues r6U hd, an< 
the flood drew off to trie Jb ord otvede. and so swelled it about the 

Stream, that the whole of this Troop of the Enemy were drowned with 
great Horror, except some who had taken the Road towards the Hill- 
sides on the left 

When Gargantua had come to the Neighbourhood of the Wood of 
Vede, he was informed by Eudemon that within the Castle was some 
Remnant of the Enemy ; in order to be sure of this Gargantua cried 
out as loud as he could: "Are you there, or are you not? If you 

1 Aider % reading with des Marets alne asm in the edition of 1535, and for this 
for arbre. Alne is the reading of the was substituted arbre in the subsequent 
first edition* which was changed into editions. 




are there, be there no more; if you are not there, I have nothing 




vnl "" 

J^> But a ruffian Gunner, who was on the Parapet, let fly at him a 
Cannon-shot and hit him furiously on the right Temple, yet for all this 

him no more hurt than if he had thrown a Plum at him. 
What is that?" said Gargantua, "do you throw Grape-stones at 
us? The Vintage shall cost you dear"; thinking indeed that the Bullet 
had been a Grape-stone. 

Those who were within the Castle playing at Bandy-ball, 8 on hearing 
the Noise, ran to the Towers and Ramparts, and shot at him more than 
nine thousand and twenty-five Shots from Falconets and Arquebuses, 
aimmj^bcyq all at his Head, and so thick did they shoot at him that 
he cried out : 

" Ponocrates, my Friend, these Flies here are blinding me ; give me 
a Branch of these Willows to drive them away"; thinking that the 
Bullets and Stones shot from Artillery had been Gad-flies. 

Ponocrates informed him that they were no other Flies but Gun- 
shot, which they were firing from the Castle. Then he charged with 
his great Tree against the Castle, and with mighty Blows threw down 
Towers and Ramparts and laid it all level with the Earth. By this 
means those who were therein were all crushed and beaten to Pieces. 

Setting out thence, they came to the Mill Bridge and found all 
the Ford covered with dead Bodies, in such a Crowd that they had 
choked up the Mill-stream ; these were they who had perished in the 
urinal Deluge of the Mare. 

At this point they were at a stand, consulting how they could get 
over, in view of the Obstruction of these Carcases. But Gymnast said : 

" If the Devils have passed over there, I shall pass well enough." 

"The Devils," said Eudemon, "have passed, to carry off the 
damned Souls." 
• l 33, n.8. " By a St Treignan," said Ponocrates, "he will pass over then as a 
necessary Consequence." 8 

"Yea, verily," said Gymnast, "or I shall stick fast in the Way." 

And setting Spurs to his Horse he passed over readily, without the 
Horse ever taking Fright at the dead Bodies ; for he had accustomed 
him, according to the Teaching of Aelian, 4 to fear neither Arms nor 

* Fr. amusez a la Pille can hardly 
mean "busy pillaging," as it is taken by 
Duchat, Johanneaa and Urquhart. 

• as a necessary consequence, i.e. as a 
"poor Devil." Cf. L 34. 

4 The practice of throwing scarecrows 
stuffed with chaff to accustom horses to 
step on bodies is attributed to the Persians 
by Aelian (De Natura Anim. xvi 25), 
who refers to the passage in the Iliad 

chap, xxxvi GARGANTUA 129 

dead Bodies — not by killing Men as Diomedes killed the Thracians, 
while Ulysses placed the Carcases of his Enemies before the Feet of 
his Horses, as Homer relateth — but by putting a Scarecrow among his 
Hay, and making him regularly go over it when he gave him his Oats. 

The three others followed him without Fail, except Eudemon, 
whose Horse set his right Foot knee-deep into the Paunch of a great fat 
Chuff, who lay there on his Back drowned, and could not draw it out ; 
and he remained so entangled, till Gargantua with the End of his Staff 
thrust down the rest of the Chuffs Tripes in the Water, while the 
Horse pulled out his Foot; and, what is a marvellous Thing in 
Hippiatry, the said Horse was cured of a Ring-bone, which he had on 
that Foot, by the Contact with the Inwards of this great Lout. 

(x. 488-493) in which Diomedes is repre- and therefore were unaccustomed to the 

sented as slaying the Thracians who were sights of a battle-field. The reading 

in charge of the horses of Rhesus, and mettoit Us corps . . . is puds de ses 

Ulysses as withdrawing the dead bodies cheuaulx is assuredly wrong ; but whether 

(ifcpfoacrKci', inrdytt in Aelian) from be- the slip is due to Rabelais or the printers, 

fore the horses, which had newly arrived it is hard to say. 



How Gargantua, in combing his Head, caused Cannon-balls 

to fall out of his Hair 

Having got clear of the Bank of the Vede, a short Time after they 
arrived at the Castle of Grandgousier, who was waiting for them with 
great Longing. At Gargantua's coming they entertained him with all 
their Might ; never were People seen more merry ; for Suppkmentum 
Supplementi Chronicorum 1 declares that Gargamelle died there of Joy. 
For my part, I know nothing of it, and care mighty little either for her 
or any other Woman. 

The Truth was that Gargantua, in changing his Clothes and combing 
his Head with his Comb, which was nine hundred Ells 8 long, furnished 
with large Elephants' Tusks, all entire, caused to fall at every Rake 
more than seven Balls, which had stuck in his Hair at the Razing of 
the Castle at Vede-wood. 

Seeing this, Grandgousier his Father thought they had been lice, and 
said to him : " How now, my dear Son, hast thou brought us as far as 
here Sparrow-hawks 8 from Montagu College? I did not mean that 
thou shouldst keep residence there." 

Then Ponocrates answered : " My Lord, think not that I placed 
him in the College of Vermin which is called Montagu ; I would rather 

1 Suppl. SuppL C£ i. 14, n. 19. 

2 cent cannes, Canne is a Hebrew 
measure of 9 feet (Cotgrave). Lacroix 
and Johanneau make it a Roman measure 
of 7 feet Du Cange gives it as a Hebrew 
measure of 8 palms, which seems most 

8 Sparrow-hawks is a euphemism, like 
Mark Twain's chamois in Swiss hotels. 
Two passages from Erasmus' Colloquies 

will be a sufficient commentary on this. 
In his Life prefixed to the Colloquies is 
found this passage: "Illic in Collegio 
Montis Acuti ex putridis ovis et cubiculo 
infecto morbum concepit " ; and in one of 
the Colloquies-. "Unde prodis?— E Col- 
legio Montis Acuti. — Ergo adeo nobis 
onustus litteris. — Immo pediculis." In 
iv. 21 {q.v.) the parody occurs : 
Horrida Tempestas monttm turbavit acuUtm. 




have put him among the Beggars that do haunt Saint Innocents, 4 by 
reason of the enormous Cruelty and Villainy that I have known there. 
For the Galley-slaves among the Moors and Tartars, the Murderers in 
criminal Dungeons, nay the very Dogs in your House are far better 
treated than the forlorn Creatures in the said College ; and if I were 
King of Paris, Devil take me if I would not put Fire thereto, and cause 
to be burnt the Principal and Regents, who allow this Inhumanity to 
be practised before their Eyes." 

Then taking up one of the Bullets he said : " These be Cannon- 
shot which lately your Son Gargantua received, as he was passing before 
the Forest of Vede, by the Treason of your Enemies. But they have 
been so rewarded for it, that they have all perished as the a Philistines • Ja<fces «vL 

a 5*3°« 

did by the Device of Samson, and those whom the Tower of Siloam 
overwhelmed, of whom it is written in Luc. xiij. [4]. 

" I am of opinion that we should pursue them while Fortune is on 
our side, for Occasion hath all her Locks before. 5 When she hath 
passed by, you can no longer recall her ; she is bald in the back Part of 
her Head and never again retumeth." 

"Verily," said Grandgousier, "it shall not be at this Time, for I wish 
to make you a Feast for to-night and bid you right Welcome." 

This said, they made ready Supper, and, in addition to the usual 
Fare, were roasted sixteen Oxen, three Heifers, thirty-two Calves, sixty- 
three Rent-kids, 6 ninety-five Sheep, three hundred sucking Pigs soused 
in sweet Wine, eleven score Partridges, seven hundred Woodcock, four 
hundred Capons from Loudun and Comuaille, six thousand Pullets and 
as many Pigeons, six hundred Guinea-fowls, fourteen hundred Leverets, 
three hundred and three Bustards, and seventeen hundred Cockerels. 7 

Venison they could not so suddenly get, only : 
Eleven wild Boars, which the Abbot of Turpenay 8 sent, and eighteen 
Fallow-deer given by the Lord of Grammont ; together with seven score 
Pheasants which were sent by the Lord of Essars, and some dozens 
of Ring-doves, Waterhens, Teal, Bitterns, Curlews, Plovers, Heath-cock, 
Briganders, Sea-ducks, young Lapwings, Sheldrakes, Shovelers, Herons, 


4 The Church des Innocents was de- 
molished in 1783, and the Fontaine des 
Innocents was re-erected on the square 
at the corner of the rue des Innocents and 
the rue St. Denis. This churchyard was 
infested by beggars. Cf. iL 7, 16. 

* Fronte capillata, post est Occasto calva. 

Distiqtus de Caton. 

• Fr. moissonur. Du Cange derives 

this word from L.L. moiso, the fine for 
the renewal of the lease, and hence part 
of the return in kind. 

7 Fr. hutaudeaulx. According to 
Duchat, they are cockerels trimmed to 
look like capons. 

8 The Abbey of Turpenay and the Lord- 
ship of Grammont were near the Forest 
of Chinon on the way to Tours. 


Hernshaws, Coots, Criels, Storks, little Bustards, Oranges, Flamingoes 
(which are Phoenicopters), Land-rails, Turkey-hens, a quantity of buck- 
wheat Porridge, 9 and a store of Brewis. 

There was Abundance of Food and no mistake, and it was hand- 
somely served by Slap-sauce, Hotch-pot and Pille-verjuice, Grandgousier's 

Janot, Micquel and Clean-glass supplied them right well with Drink. 

9 coscossons (iii. 17, iv. 59, v. 23), a composing a kind of porridge. Kous- 
kind of Moorish dish made by working couson is mentioned in Scott's St. Ronaris 
flour with water into little balls and so Well, 


How Gargantua ate six Pilgrims in a Salad 

The Story requireth that we relate what happened to six Pilgrims, who 
were coming from Saint Sebastian near Nantes, and who to find Shelter 
for themselves for that Night, for fear of the Enemy had hid themselves 
in the Garden on the Pea-straw between the Cabbages and the Lettuces. 

Gargantua found himself somewhat thirsty and asked if they could 
find some Lettuces to make a Salad ; and hearing that there were there 
some of the finest and largest in the Country (for they were as large as 
Plum-trees or Walnut-trees 1 ) was minded to go there himself, and 
brought off in his Hand what he thought good. Therewith he carried 
off the six Pilgrims, who were in so great Fear that they durst neither 
speak nor cough. 

As he was washing them first at the Fountain, the Pilgrims said to 
one another in a low Voice: "What shall we do? We are being 
drowned here amongst these Lettuces. Shall we speak ? But if we do 
so he will kill us for Spies." 

And as they were thus deliberating, Gargantua put them with his 
Lettuces on to a Dish of the House, as large as the Tun at Cisteaux,* 
and with Oil, Vinegar and Salt ate them to refresh himself before Supper, 
and had already swallowed five of the Pilgrims. 

The sixth was still on the Dish, hidden under a Lettuce, all except 
his pilgrim's Staff, which appeared above. Seeing this, Grandgousier said 
to Gargantua : " I think that is the Horn of a Snail ; do not eat it" 

" Why not ? " said Gargantua. " They are good all this Month." 

1 Thcophrastus (If. P. vii. 4, 5) speaks * at Ctteaux, an abbey in the diocese 

of a lettuce so large in the stalk that they of Chftlons in Burgundy. The tun 

are said to be used for garden doors — was said to have been made by St 

$6pcu KrprovpuccUj which Pliny in his adapta- Bernard, and to have contained 300 

tion translates ostiola olitoria (xix. 8, § 38). hogsheads. 




And drawing up the Staff, he took up the Pilgrim withal and ate him 
very easily ; then he drank a horrible Draught of strong Wine, 8 waiting 4 
till the Supper was served. 

The Pilgrims, thus devoured, kept themselves from the Grinders of 
his Teeth the best way they could, and thought that they had been 
thrust in some deep Dungeon of the Prison; and when Gargantua 
drank the great Draught, they thought to have been drowned in his 
Mouth, and the Torrent of Wine nearly carried them into the Gulf of his 
Stomach. Nevertheless, skipping with their Staves, as do Saint Michael's 
Palmers, 6 they put themselves in shelter under the Bank of his Teeth. 

But, by Ill-luck, one of them groping the Country with his Staff, to 
know if they were in Safety, struck roughly against the Cleft of a hollow 
Tooth and rapped the Nerve of the Jaw, whereby he caused very great 
Pain to Gargantua, so that he began to cry out for the Rage that he 
felt To ease himself therefore of the Pain, he called for his Tooth- 
pick, and going in the direction of the Rook Walnut-tree, 6 unnestled 
me our Gentlemen, the Pilgrims. 

For he hooked 7 one by the Legs, another by the Shoulders, another 
by the Wallet, another by the Pouch, another by the Scarf; and the poor 
Wretch who had rapped his Tooth with his Staff, him he hooked by the 
Cod-piece ; nevertheless, this was a great Piece of Luck for him, for it 
lanced a pocky Botch for him which had martyrised him from the 
time when they came past Ancenis. 8 So the Pilgrims, being dislodged, 
ran away across the Plantation at a round Trot and the Pain ceased. 

At this time he was called by Eudemon to Supper, for everything was 
ready. " I will go off then," said he, " to p — s away my Misfortune." 

Then did he p — s so copiously that the Water cut off the Road for 
the Pilgrims and they were constrained to cross the large Mill-dam. 
Passing from there by the Bank of the Spinney on the open Road, they 
all fell, excepting Fournillier, into a Trap which had been made to take 
Wolves in a Net, 9 from which they escaped by means of the Readiness 
of the said Fournillier, who broke all the Snares and the Ropes. 

8 vinpineau, made from small grapes 
shaped like pine-apples (Littrl). 

4 waiting. Read en attendant ; the old 
editions read et attendirenU 

• Fr. Muqutloti. These were boys who 
went on a pilgrimage to St Michael sur 
mer, and had to use their staves to leap 
over the quicksands on the coast. 

• noyeau grollier (iii. 32, iv. 63) ; grolles 
= rooks, put for the pilgrims perched in 

the tree; denicha (unnestled) carries on 
the metaphor. 

7 arrapoit, the Provencal form foxattra- 
poit, with a slightly stronger meaning. 

8 AncentSy a town in Brittany between 
Angers and Nantes. 

* lnu»M£(Lat.fovta,DuCange). Des 
Marets sensibly takes this of a net, refer- 
ring to lacs et cordages, which follows im- 

- i 

chap, xixviii GARGANTUA 135 

Having escaped from there, they lay for the rest of that Night in a 
Lodging near le Couldray, where they were comforted for their Misfor- 
tune by the goodly Words of one of their Company, named Wearyfoot, 
who pointed out to them that the Adventure had been predicted by 
David in the Psalms. 10 

Cum exsurgerent homines in nos, 

Forte vivos deglutissent nos, 
When we were eaten in the Salad with Grains of Salt ; 

Cum irasceretur furor eorum in nos, 

Forsitan aqua absorbuisset nos, 
When he drank the great Draught ; 

Torrentem pertransivit Anima nostra, 
When we crossed the great Mill-dam ; 

Forsitan pertransisset Anima nostra 

Aquam intoUrabilem 
Of his Urine, wherewith he cut off our Path. 

Benedictus Dominus, qui non dedit nos in cap- 
tionem dentibus eorum. Anima nosier sicut passer 
erepta est de laqueo Venantium, 
When we fell into the Trap, 

Laqueus contritus est by Fournillier 

Et nos liberati sumus. Adjutorium nostrum, etc 

10 This adaptation of the 124th Psalm There is also intended a burlesque imitation 

from verse 2 reads like a passage in the of the ancient canticle of the pilgrims of 

Pilgrim's Progress, and was, no doubt, in- St James : 

tended to ridicule the » applications •' of ^^^ „ mmwm%trmvl .^.u,, 

the preachers of the tune. Themoralismgs Quamd nous fusmes dans la Saintonge, 

in the Gesta Romanorum are of the same Quamd nous partismes de la France, 

nature. C£ also Scott's Ivanhoe, a 33. Helas moo Dieu, etc 


How the Monk was feasted by Gargantua, and of the jovial 

Discourse he held at Supper 

When Gargantua was at Table, and the first Part of the Messes had 
been despatched, Grandgousier began to recount the Origin and the 
Cause of the War raised between him and Picrochole, and came to the 
Point of narrating how Friar John of the Trencherites had triumphed 
at the Defence of the Abbey-close, and commended his Prowess as 
above that of Camillus, Scipio, Pompey, Caesar and Themistocies. 

Upon this Gargantua desired that he should be sent for at once, to 
the end that with him they might consult on what was to be done. At 
their Wish the Major-domo went to fetch him, and brought him along 
merrily with his Staff of the Cross, on Grandgousier's Mule. 

When he was come, a thousand Caresses, a thousand Huggings and 
a thousand Good-days were given him : 

" Ha, Friar John, my Friend, Friar John my brave Cousin^Friar John 
in the Devil's name, let me clip thee round the Neck, my Friend, — let 
me have thee in my Arms — Cza, my Codling, I must gripe thee till thy 
Reins crack." 

And Friar John made merry. Never was any one so courteous and 

"Come, come," said Gargantua, "a Stool here near me at this End." 

" With all my Heart," said the Monk, " since it is your good Pleasure. 
— Page, some Water. Pour it, my Boy, pour it ; it will refresh my Liver. 
Give it me here, that I may — gargle my Throat." l 

"Deposita cappaf* said Gymnast; "let us take off this Frock." 

1 It has been well pointed out by Mo- * These words are from the rituals, 

rellet that queje gargarise is a ropd rpwr- which point out the places where the offici- 
8okUw. ating priest should take off his cope (M.) 




" Ho, Pardy," said the Monk, "my good Sir, there is a Chapter 8 in 
Statutis Ordinis which would not allow this Point" 

" Pish," said Gymnast, " a Fig for your Chapter. This Frock burdens 
both your Shoulders ; put it off." 

" My Friend," said the Monk, " leave it with me \ for, I swear, I 
drink only the better for it It makes all my Body right merry. If I 
should lay it aside, my Friends the Pages will make Garters of it, as 1 
was once served at Coulaines. 4 Besides, I shall have no Appetite ; but 
if in this Habit I sit at Table, then, pardy ! I will drink to thee and to 
thy Horse. And so lustily. God save the Company. I had supped ; 
but for all that I will eat not a whit the less, for I have a paved Stomach 
as hollow as the Boot 6 of Saint Benet, ever open like a Lawyer's Pouch. 

Of every Fish except the Tench,* 

take the Wing of the Partridge, or the Thigh of a Nun ; is it not to die 
like a good Fellow 7 when a Man dies with stiffened Limbs ? Our Prior 
loves exceedingly the white of a Capon." 

" In that," said Gymnast, " he doth not resemble the Foxes ; for of 
the Capons, Hens and Pullets which they carry off, they never eat the 

"Why?" said the Monk. 

" Because they have no Cooks to cook them," said Gymnast, " and 
if they are not sufficiently cooked they remain red and not white. The 
Redness of Meats is an Indication that they are not done enough, except 
Lobsters and Crayfish, which are cardinalised in boiling." 

"Feste Dieu Bayard," 8 said the Monk, "the Hospitaller 9 of our 
Abbey hath not his Hgad well boiled, for he has his Eyes as red as a 
Cup made of Alder-wood. This Leveret's Thigh 10 is good for the 

" By the bye, my Trowel, 11 why is It that the Thighs of a Gentle- 
woman are always fresh ? " 

8 Chapter. Probably the one forbid- 
ding monks to quit their dress under pain 
of excommunication (M. ) 

4 Coulaines, a place near Chinon. 

■ Boot of St. Benet. Probably some 
huge tun (iv. 16, v. 36). Botta in Italian 
means a bottle, from Lat butta. 

• This proverb runs — 

De tous let pousoos, forsque la tenche, 
Prencz le dos, laiisez la penche. 

7 Fr. falotement. An allusion to a pro- 
verbial expression — 

Arrectus moritur monacha quicumque potitur. 

8 Feste Dieu was the favourite adjura- 
tion of Bayard. 

* JSn/ermier, the brother who looks 
after the sick, poohxofuit ; Lat infirmarius 
(Du Cange). 

10 "Podagras mitigari [tradunt] pede 
leporis viventis absciso si quis secum 
adsidue portat" (Plin. N.H. xxviiL 16, 

11 & propos truelle bonjour mafon, Cf. 
iii. 18. 




• Is. id. z. 

"This Problem," said Gargantua, "is neither in Aristotle, nor in 
Alexander of Aphrodisias, 12 nor in Plutarch." 

" It is," said the Monk, " for three Reasons, by which a Place is 
naturally refreshed : 

"Primo % because the Water runs down its whole Length; 

" Secundo, because it is in a shady Place, obscure and dark, on which 
the Sun never shines ; 

" And thirdly ) because it is continually ventilated by the Breezes of 
the North-wind, of the Smock, and of the Cod-piece to boot 

" And heartily to it. Page, to our Tippling. Gulp, gulp, gulp. What 
a good God we have, who giveth us this good Drink. 

" I call Him to Witness, if I had lived in the time of Jesus Christ I 
would have been well on guard against the Jews taking Him in the 
Garden of Olivet. And more, the Devil fail me, if I would have failed 
to hamstring those Gentlemen the Apostles, who fled so cowardly after 
they had well supped, and left their good Master in His Need. I hate 
worse than Poison a man who runs away when he ought to play a good 
Knife — and Fork. Oh, that I am not King of France for fourscore or 
a hundred Years ! Certes, I would make curtailed Curs of the Runa- 
ways from Pavia. 18 A Plague take them ! Why did they not die rather 
than leave their good Prince in that Strait ? Is it not better and more 
honourable to die fighting valiantly than to live flying villainously ? 

" We shall not have many Goslings to eat this Year. Ha, my Friend, 
give me some of that Pig. Diavolo ! there is no more Must : M a Germin- 
avit radix /esse. 

" I renounce my Life on it, I die of Thirst This Wine is none of the 
worst. What Wine did you drink in Paris ? I give myself to the Devil 
if I did not once keep open House to all Comers. 

" Do you know Brother Claude of the Haults Barrois ? 15 O the jolly 
Companion that he was ! But what Fly hath stung him ? He doth 
nothing but study since I don't know when. I do not study, for my 
Part In our Abbey we never studied, for Fear of the Mumps. Our late 

u Alexander of Aphrodisias, head of 
the Peripatetic school at Athens, 198- 

211 A.D. 

u The Swiss mercenaries and the Due 
d* Alencon, who commanded the rearguard, 
fled at the battle of Pavia (Feb. 24, 1525), 
when Francis I. was taken prisoner by 
the Imperialists under the Marquis of 

14 Among the dishes served in chap. 37 

there were " three hundred sucking pigs 
served in must. " 

u To this day the name of Barrois and 
Hauts-Barrois is given to the inhabitants 
of Bar-sur-Seine and Bar-sur-Aube (Joh.) 
Les Hauts-Barrois was also a lively dance 
in vogue in those provinces (Duchat). In 
ABC the reading was Claude de Saint 
Denys, changed probably for prudential 
reasons (M.) 




Abbot used to say that it was a monstrous thing to see a learned Monk. 
Pardy, Sir, my Friend, tnagis magnos dericos non sunt magis magnos 

" You never saw so many Hares as there are this Year. I have not 
been able to come by a Goshawk or a Tassel-gentle anywhere in the 
World. My Lord de la Bellonifere had promised me a Lanner-hawk, 
but he wrote to me not long ago that he had become pursy. 16 The 
Partridges will eat up our Ears this Year. 17 I take no Pleasure in 
fowling with a Tunnel-net, 18 for I take Cold at it If I do not run, if I 
do not bustle about, I am not at Ease. True it is that in jumping over 
the Hedges and Bushes my Frock leaves some Jags behind. I have 
got a rare Greyhound. Devil a bit a Hare escapes him. A Groom 
was leading him to my Lord Maulevrier, 19 and I robbed him of him. 
Did I do wrong ? " 

" No, Friar John," said Gymnast, " no, by all the Devils, no." 
" So," said the Monk, " should one deal with these Devils as long as 
they last. 20 By the Powers, what would that lame Fellow have done 
with it? 'Sbody, he takes more Pleasure when he gets a Present of a 
good Yoke of Oxen." » 

" How now," said Ponocrates, " do you swear, Friar John ? " 
"It is only," said the Monk, "to embellish my Speech. These be 
Colours of Ciceronian Rhetoric" 

M pantays is the reading of A. Others 
read patois or patais. It is probably con- 
nected with panteler= English pant (Cot- 

v Fr. mesouan = It. medisimo anno. 
Fr. meshuis. 

u la tonnelky a tunnel-net into which 
game was driven, more used for water- 

u Louis de Brecl, Comte de Mau- 

levrier, grand veneur of France to Louis 
XI., was lame. There is a pun intended 
between gentil levrier and Maulevrier ■, as 
above between lanier and Belloniere. 

90 i.e. till one is rid of them 

21 a Yoke of Oxen, Chasser aux bomfs 
is an old expression to signify a miserly 
fellow, such as was probably the Comte 
de Maulevrier. 


Why Monks are shunned by the World % and why some have 

bigger Noses than others 

"By my Faith as a Christian," said Eudemon, "I am lost in Con- 
templation, when I consider the Worthiness of this Monk, for he 
maketh us all merry here. How is it then that men drive away Monks 
from all good Companies, calling them Trouble - feasts, just as Bees 
• fro?*, iv. z68. drive away the Drones from around their Hives ? a Ignavum fucos 
pecus, says Maro, a pratsepibus arcenl" 

To this answered Gargantua : " There is nothing so true as that the 
Frock and the Cowl draw on themselves the Opprobrium, the Insults 
and the Maledictions of the World, just as the Wind called Caecias 
attracts the Clouds. 1 

" The absolute Reason is because they eat up the Offscouring of the 
World, that is to say the Sins, 2 and as Scavengers, men cast them into 
their Retreats, that is their Convents and Abbeys, separated from 
civil Conversation, as are the Retreats of a House. 

" But if you can conceive why an Ape in a Family is always mocked 
and teased, you will understand why the Monks are shunned by all, 
old and young alike. 
* Plat. Mt. " The b Ape doth not guard the House as doth a Dog ; he doth not 

draw the Plough like the Ox ; he produceth, no Milk, nor Wool as 
doth the Sheep; he carrieth no Burdens as doth the Horse. That 
which he doth is to bemire and spoil everything, which is the Reason 
why he gets from every one Gibings and Bastinadoes. 

i 6& kcukUls [N.E.] ofa alBpiot, tn printed by Aldus in 1497, rather than 

toatc&fiirrei efr aMv t 5$er koI \4yercu ij from Gellius ii. 22 or Plin. ii. 47, 

rapoifila, iXxonr ty airrbw 6*re tcaudat who both derive their notions from 

pi<fxn (Aristot. Meteor, ii. 6). Aristotle. 

It seems likely that Rabelais got this * " Peccata mei populi comedent " 

proverb from Aristotle, which had been (Hosea iv. 8). 




" In like manner a Monk — I mean one of those lazy Monks — doth 
not labour like the Peasant, nor guard the Land as doth the Man-at- 
arms, nor heal the Sick like the Physician, nor preach and instruct 
the World like the good Evangelical Doctor and Preceptor, nor import 
Commodities and Things necessary for the State like the Merchant. 
This is the Reason why they are hooted at and abhorred by all.' 1 

" Nay," said Grandgousier, " but they pray God for us." 

"Nothing less," answered Gargantua. "True it is that they dis- 
quiet the whole Neighbourhood by the Tingle-tangling of their Bells." 

"Yea, verily," said the Monk; "a Mass, a Matins and a Vesper 
well rung are half said." 

" They mumble through a great Store of Legends and Psalms, in 
no ways understood by them; they count a Number of Paternosters 
interlarded with long Ave Marias, without thinking of or understanding 
them, and this I call a Mocking of God and not Prayer. 

" But may God be their Aid if they pray for us, and not through 
Fear of losing their Manchets and rich Soups. All true Christians of 
all Estates, in all Places, in all Times pray to God, and the Spirit 
prayeth and intercedeth for them, c and God receiveth them into Favour. • Rom. vui 26. 

" Now such is our good Friar John. Therefore every one wisheth 
for him in his Company. He is no Bigot ; he is not a Tatterdemalion ; 3 
he is honest, merry, resolute and a good Companion ; he works, he 
labours, he defends the Oppressed, he comforts the Afflicted, he 
succours the Distressed ; he guards the Abbey-close." 

" I do," said the Monk, " a great deal more than that ; for whilst 
we are despatching our Matins and Anniversaries in the Choir, mean- 
time I make Cross-bow Strings and polish Bolts and Quarrels; 4 I 
make Snares and Purse-nets to take Coneys. 5 Never am I lazy. But 
ho ! what ho ! some Drink here, some Drink. Bring the Fruit ; these 
be Chestnuts of the Wood of Estrocs. 6 With good new Wine it will 
make you a Composer of Bum-sonnets ; you are not yet well seasoned 
with Liquor 7 here. Perdy, I drink at every Ford, like a Proctor's horse." 8 

* Fr. dessiri^dichiri % i. 26. 

4 Fr. Matras ( = ma/eras) et guarrots 
= Low Lat. guarrus=spuulum arcus 
balistarii (Du Cange). 

5 " Facito aliquid operis ut semper te 
diabolus inveniat occupatum . . . vel 
fiscellam texe junco . . . texantur et Una 
capiendis piscibus." — St. Jerome to the 
monk RusHcus (Duchat). 

• Estrocs in Bas-Poitou, very fertile in 

7 Fr. amoustilUs (seasoned with must), 
probably with a pun on emoustilUs 
(brisked up). 

8 Proctor's horse. The promoteur or 
proctor was a commissary or fiscal pro- 
curator in ecclesiastical jurisdictions. 
As he was generally a poor horseman, 
his horse would set him at defiance, 
and take a drink when and where he 




Gymnast said to him : " Friar John, take away the Dew-drop that 
hangs at your Nose." 

"Ha, ha," said the Monk, "am I not in Danger of drowning, 
seeing that I am in Water up to my Nose ? No, no. Quare t Quia 

As Water it goeth not in, though as Water it may come out, 
For it hath received full Measure of the Vine-bunch Antidote. 

" O my Friend, he that hath winter Boots of such Leather as this * 
may boldly fish for Oysters ; they would never let Water." 

"Why is it," said Gargantua, "that Friar John hath such a fine 
Nose?" 10 

"Because," replied Grandgousier, 11 "God hath so willed it, who 
creates us in such Form and to such End, according to His divine 
* Rom. ix. ao, ai. Pleasure, even as a d Potter fashioneth his Vessels." 

" Because," said Ponocrates, " he was one of the first at the Fair 
of Noses. He chose one of the finest and largest" 12 

"Marry, come up," said the Monk. "According to the true 
monastic Philosophy it is because my Nurse had soft Breasts ; and in 
suckling, my Nose buried itself as though in Butter, and there swelled 
and grew like Dough within the Kneading-trough. Hard Breasts in 
Nurses make Children snub-nosed. 18 But hey day : 

Adformam nasi cognoscitur ad te levavi. 

I never eat Sweetmeats. Page, some Tipple. Also some Toasts. 

8 such Leather % ue, as my skin, which 
never takes in water. 

10 On Friar John's nose, c£ i. 27 and 
iv. 54. 

u Sterne gives Grandgousier's reason, 
Trist. Shandy, iii. 41. 

u Cf. Trist. Shandy, iv. I. 

" Cf. Trist. Shandy, iii 38. Sterne 
puts it all down to Ambroise Pari, but 
I can only find the following on the 
subject: "Aux playes faites au nez, par 
le trop serrer et presser on rend les 
malades camus." Cf. also Des Periers, 
Nov. 48. 


How the Monk made Gargantua sleep, and of his Hours 

and Breviaries 

Supper being finished, they consulted of the Business in hand, and it 
was determined that about Midnight they should set out in skirmishing 
Order, to leam what Watch and Ward their Enemies kept ; and in the 
mean Season they should take some little Repose, so as to be more 
fresh. But Gargantua was unable to sleep, whichever Side he turned 
himself 1 

Then said the Monk to him : " I never sleep well at my Ease except 
when I am at Sermon or at Prayers. I entreat you, let us begin, you 
and I, the seven Psalms, to see if you will not soon be asleep." 

The Notion pleased Gargantua well, and beginning at the first 
Psalm, 2 when they came to the Beati quorum they both fell asleep. 

But the Monk never failed to wake before Midnight, so much 
accustomed was he to the Hour of Claustral Matins. Being awaked 
himself he woke up all the others singing with a full Voice the Song : 

What ho ! Regnault, awake thee, wake I 
What ho ! Regnault, awake ! * 

When they were all aroused he said : " My Masters, it is said that 
Matins begin with coughing, and Supper with drinking. Let us act 

1 Cf IL xxiv. 3, 10 : Beati quorum. The seven in the Vulgate 

m&rkf 'AxiUUfr *"* 6 » 3 1 * 37t 5°> * OI > * 2 9f 142. 

mxmt fix** Mtpm fUffftMPH, •£*• fu* £*"* * What ho I Regnault , etc. Duchat 

fa w*fUp£**r, Aav Urri&r' W6« «w frfc, g^ xhsX this is an old song which was in 

*£ it^ulZ^^^ *"*" r mZn "* time oftcn in *** mouths of workmcn > 

' possibly made for Regnault Belin, the 

9 first Psalm , i.e. the first penitential lazy shepherd whose sheep slept while 

Psalm (the 6th), the second being the the others were already at pasture. Cf. 

32d (or 31st in the Vulgate), beginning iv. & 





contrariwise; let us now begin our Matins with drinking; and in 
the Evening when the Supper comes in, we will cough it with the 

Upon this said Gargantua : " Drink so soon after sleeping ? That 
is not to live after the Rules of Medicine. We should first clear the 
Stomach of all its Superfluities and Excrements." 

" Tis rarely prescribed ! " said the Monk. " May a hundred Devils 
leap on my Body if there are not more old Drunkards than old 
Physicians. I have made Terms with my Appetite with a Covenant of 
this sort, that it always goeth to Bed with me, and for that I always see 
well to it during the Day ; also it riseth with me. You look after your 
Castings 4 as much as you like, I am going after my Tiring." 

" What Tiring do you mean ? " said Gargantua. 

"My Breviary," 6 said the Monk; "for, just as Falconers, before 
they feed their Hawks, do make them tire • upon a Hen's Leg to purge 
their Brains of Rheums and sharpen their Appetite, so taking this merry 
little Breviary in the Morning, I scour my Lungs throughout, and there 
am I, ready to — drink." 

"After what Use," 7 said Gargantua, " do you say these fine 'Hours' 
of yours ? " 

"After the Use of Fecamp," said the Monk, "by three Psalms and 

three Lessons, 8 or Nothing at all for him that will none. I never 

subject myself to Hours ; the Hours are made for Man, not Man for 

» cr. Marc. u. 27. the a Hours. Wherefore I make mine in the fashion of Stirrup-leathers ; 

I shorten or lengthen them when it seemeth good to me. 

Brevis oratio penetrat Caelos, 
Longa potatio evacuat Scyphos. 

Where is that written ? " 

" By my Faith," said Ponocrates, " I know not, my Pillicock, but 

thou art worth Gold." 

" In that," said the Monk, " I resemble you. But venite apotemus" 
Then they made ready Rashers on the Coals in abundance, and fine 

4 Castings, Fr. cures, a term in fal- 

Breviary, a flask in the shape of a 
breviary. A present of one was made 
to Rabelais by his friends. Cf. Ancient 
Prologue to the Fourth Book; iv. 20, 

• tire (Fr. tirer) is a term in falconry 
signifying to seize ravenously and prey 
upon. Its meaning is easily seen from 

the following lines from 3 Hen, VI L 1, 


Whose haughty spirit, winged with desire, 
Will cost my crown, and like an empty eagle 
Tire on the flesh of me and of my son. 

7 Use, i.e. the custom of a particular 
church. Cf. the Sarum use. 

8 C£ Patelin, 761, 762 : 

Et cest avocat potatif 

A trois lecpns et a trois pseaumes. 

chap, xli GARGANTUA 145 

Brewis of Prime, 9 and the Monk drank as he would. Some kept him 
company, others let it alone. 10 

After that, each one began to arm and equip himself, and they 
armed the Monk against his Will ; for he wished for no other Arms 
than his Frock before his Stomach and the Staff of the Cross in his 
Fist However, to please them, he was armed from Head to Foot and 
mounted on a fine Neapolitan n Charger, with a huge Sabre by his 
Side. With him went Gargantua, Ponocrates, Gymnast, Eudemon, and 
five-and-twenty of the most adventurous of Grandgousier's House, all 
armed at Proo£ u with Lances in their Hands, mounted Eke St George, 
each having an Arquebusier behind him. 

• Brewis of Prime, Cf. L 21. !1 Neapolitan. Fr. du royaume t from 

10 Fr. jVh deporterent. Littre* quotes It cavaUo di regno [di Napoli\> These 

this passage and another in iii. 48 a as in- were highly prized at the time. 

stances of this meaning. u armet h Taduantaige ; ii. 25, iv. 1 1. 




How the Monk encouraged his Companions^ and hew he 

hanged upon a Tret 

So go forth the noble Champions on their Adventure, well resolved to 
know what Enterprise they should follow up, and what they would have 
to guard against, when the Day of the great and horrible Battle should 
come. 1 

And the Monk encouraged them, saying: "My Children, have 
neither Fear nor Doubt ; I will conduct you safely. God and St. Ben&t 
be with us ! If I had Strength to match my Courage, 'Sdeath ! I would 
pluck them all for you like a Duck. I fear nothing but the Artillery. 

" Yet I do know a Prayer taught me by the Sub-sacristan of our 
Abbey, which guardeth a Man safe from all Mouths of Fire ; but it will 
profit me nothing because I put no Faith in it Nevertheless, my Staff 
of the Cross will play the DeviL 

" Perdy, whosoever of you shall play the Duck, 2 I give myself to the 
Devil if I do not make a Monk of him in my Stead and huddle him into 
my Frock. It bringeth a Cure to men's Cowardice. 

" Have you never heard speak of the Greyhound of my Lord of 
Meurles, 8 which was worth nothing in the Field ? He put a Frock 
about his Neck, and, Copsbody, neither Hare nor Fox ever escaped 
from him ; and what is more, he lined all the Bitches in the Country, 
although before he had been broken-reined and de frigidis et male- 
ficiatis." * 

1 " Antcquam veniat dies Domini of an ancient family of Montpellier, exist - 

magnus et horribilis " (Joel ii. 31). ing still in the time of Duchat. 

9 play the Duck, i.e. the Coward, like 4 de frigidis, etc This is the rubric 

ducks, which dive to escape from danger, of the 15th Title of the Fourth Book of 

C£ iii. 6. Decretals. 

* N. de MontlauTy lord of Meurles, 

chap. Xlii GARGANTUA 147 

The Monk, as he said these Words in a Heat, passed under a 
Walnut-tree on the Way towards the Osier-bed, 6 and spitted the Visor 
of his Helmet on the Stump of a great Branch of the Tree. This 
notwithstanding, he put Spurs fiercely to his Horse, which was skittish 
under the Spur, so that he bounded forwards ; while the Monk, trying 
to unfasten his Visor from its Hook, let go the Bridle and with his 
Hand hung on to the Branches, while his Horse stole away from 
beneath him. 

By this means the Monk remained hanging from the Walnut-tree, 
and crying "Help" and "Murder"; swearing also that there was 

Eudemon first perceived him, and calling Gargantua said : " Sire, 
come and see Absalom hanging." 

When Gargantua had come, he considered the Countenance of the 
Monk, and the Posture in which he was hanging, and said to Eudemon : 
" You have shot beside the Mark in comparing him to Absalom, for 
Absalom was hung up by his Hair ; but the Monk being a Shaven-pate 
is hanging by his Ears." 

"Help me," cried the Monk, "in the Devil's Name. 'Tis a fine 
Time to be prating, is it not? You seem to me to be Decretalist 
Preachers, who say that whosoever shall see his Neighbour in Danger 
of Death, he is bound, under Penalty of three-forked 7 Excommunica- 
tion, rather to admonish him to make Confession and to put him in a 
State of Grace than to help him. When then I shall see them fallen 
into a River and ready to be drowned, instead of going after them and 
giving them a Hand, I shall make them a fine long Sermon 8 de con- 
Umptu Mundi et fuga Sacculi> and when they are stark dead I will go 
and fish for them." 

" Do not stir, my Bullyrook," said Gymnast ; " I am coming to help 
thee, for thou art a pretty little Monachus : 

Monachus in claustto 
Non valet ova duo ; 
Sed quando est extra 
Bene valet triginta. 


I have seen above five hundred hanged Men, but I never saw one 
who had so good a Grace in hanging ; if I had so good a Grace I would 
willingly hang thus all my Life." 

* Osier-bed. Cf. L 4, 32. and his party as they were drowning 

6 Stump, Fr. roupte. (iv. 8). La Fontaine probably took from 

7 Fr. trisulce t homfulmen trisulcum. here the fable of the Preceptor and the 

8 C£ Panurge's sermon to Dindenault Scholar. 


" Shall you soon have done preaching ? " said the Monk. " Help me 
in God's name, since you will not in the name of the Other. 9 By the 
Habit that I wear, you shall repent of it tempore et loco pratlibatis" 

Then Gymnast got off his Horse, and, climbing up into the Walnut- 
tree, lifted up the Monk by the Gussets with one Hand, and with the 
other undid his Visor from the Stump of the Tree, and so let him fall to 
the Ground and himself after him. 

When the Monk had come down, he did off all his Armour 10 and 
threw one Piece after another about the Field, and taking up again his 
Staff of the Cross he remounted his Horse, which Eudemon had stopped 
from running away. 

So they went on merrily, keeping the Road to the Osier-bed. 

• the Other, i.e. the Devil. C£ i. 10 Like David before his fight with 

35* Goliath, I Sam. xvii 39. 


How the Scouts of Picrochole were met by Gargantua> and how 
the Monk slew Captain Drawforth, and then was made 

Prisoner by the Enemy 

At the Report of those who had escaped from the Rout, when * Tripet • ct l 35. 
was untriped, Picrochole was seized with great Wrath, hearing that the 
Devils had set upon his Men ; and all that Night held a Council, at 
which Rashcalf and Toucquedillon resolved that his Powers were such 
that he could defeat all the Devils in Hell, if they should come. This 
Picrochole did not fully believe ; also he did not distrust it. 

Wherefore he sent, under the conduct of Count Drawforth, to recon- 
noitre the Country, sixteen hundred Knights, all mounted on light 
Horses in skirmishing Order, all well sprinkled with Holy Water, and 
every one having for his Cognisance a Stole as a Scarf; against all 
Hazards, if they should meet the Devils ; so that by the Virtue of this 
Gregorian 1 Water, as well as of the Stoles, they should make the Devils 
disappear and vanish. 

They went on then to near Vauguyon 8 and the Hospital, but never 
found any one to whom to speak; whereupon they returned by the 
upper Road, and in the Abode and Hut 8 of a Shepherd near Le Coudray 
they found the b five Pilgrims. Having bound and blindfolded them, bet i.38 mdju 
as though they were Spies, they carried them off, notwithstanding the 
Exclamations, Adjurations and Requests that they made. 

When they had come down from there towards Seuilll they were 
heard by Gargantua, who said to his People : 

"Comrades, there is here an Encounter for us, and they are in 

1 It was Pope Gregory the Great who * Fr. tugure. 

brought holy water into credit. PaupeA ^ ^^ coogtgtam CMtSfAu .^^ 

• Vauguyon. Cf. 1. 34. The hospital Vii* £*. L 69. 

(la MalacUrie) a little south of Coudray. 


Number more than ten times as many as we are. Shall we charge 

" What a Devil else shall we do ? " said the Monk. " Do you value 
Men by their Number and not by their Valour and Courage ? " Then 
he cried out : " Charge ! Devils, charge ! " 

Hearing this, the Enemy thought indeed that they had been very 
Devils, whereupon they began to fly headlong, except Drawforth, who 
laid his Lance in rest and struck the Monk with his utmost Force in 
the middle of the Chest ; but encountering the horrific Frock it bent 
back * in the Steel-point, just as though you should strike against an 
Anvil with a small Wax-candle. 

Then the Monk with his Staff of the Cross gave him so sturdy a 
Blow between the Neck and Shoulders on the acromion Bone 5 that he 
stunned 6 him and made him lose all Sense and Motion ; and he fell at 
the Feet of his Horse. 

And seeing the Stole which he wore on his Scarf he said to 
Gargantua: "These Men here are but Priests; that is only the 
Beginning of a Monk. By Saint John, I am a complete Monk ; I will 
kill them for you like Flies." 

Then he followed after them at full Gallop, so that he caught up the 
hindermost and beat them down like Rye, striking right and left at 

Gymnast immediately asked Gargantua whether they should pursue 

To which Gargantua answered : " On no account ; for according to 
true military Discipline, you must never drive your Enemy into the pass 
of Despair, because such a Necessity doth multiply his Strength and 
• Cf. Piut. increases his Courage, 6 which was already cast down and broken, 
and there is no better Help to Safety for men who are dismayed 7 
and recreant 8 than to hope for no Safety whatever. 9 How many 
Victories have been wrested from the Hands of the Victors by the Van- 
quished, when they have not been satisfied with Reason, but have 
attempted to put all to utter Slaughter and totally to destroy their 

4 Fr. reboucka t 9\9oinfarmrebouquer 9 7 Fr. estommis =O.F. estcrmis, Low 

from Low Lat. rebusare (Du Cangc). Lat. stormus, Eng. storm (Da Cange). 

• acromion Bane. The acromion pro- 8 Fr . recreus% « Recre diti vel recrc- 
cets must be meant (Hipp, de Art. m. ^ appeUati qui - m ducllo ^^ K ^ 
137 K), joining the shoulder-blade to the fitebantur » (Dl| q™* 

collar-bone. Cf. Amb. Pari, xiii. 9. 

• Fr. eston no. So Shakespeare uses t Una salus yictii nullam spernie lalutem. 

astonish in the sense of stun, Henry V. -~ . „ 

' * Virg. Attu IL 354. 

v. I, 4a 

chap, xliii GARGANTUA 151 

Enemies, without leaving a single one to bear the News ! Always open 
to your Enemies all the Gates and Roads, and rather make for them a 
Bridge of Silver in order to send them away." 

"Yea, but," said Gymnast, "they have the Monk." 10 

" Have they the Monk ? " said Gargantua. " Then upon my Honour 
it will be to their Hurt But, to provide against all Chances, let us not 
yet retreat ; let us wait here in Silence, for I think that by this time I 
understand well enough the Tactics of our Enemies. They are guided 
by Luck and not by Counsel." 

As they were thus waiting under the Walnut-trees, the Monk in the 
meantime went on in Pursuit, charging all those whom he met, without 
giving Quarter to any, until he met with a Horseman who was carrying 
behind him one of the poor Pilgrims. And there, as he was about to 
rifle him, the Pilgrim cried out : 

" Ha, my Lord Prior, my good Friend, my Lord Prior, save me, I 
beseech you." 

On hearing these Words, the Enemy faced about, and seeing that 
there was nobody there but the Monk who was making this Havock, 
loaded him with Blows as men do an Ass with Wood ; u but of all this 
he felt nothing, especially when they struck him on his Frock, so hard 
was his Skin. 

Then they handed him over to two Archers to guard, and turning 
round they saw no one against them, whereby they thought that 
Gargantua had fled with his Troop. Then they rode towards the 
Walnut-trees as hard as they could, to find them, and left the Monk 
alone with two Archers in guard. 

Gargantua heard the Noise and the Neighing of the Horses, and 
said to his Men : 

" Comrades, I hear the Rumble u of our Enemies and I perceive 
some of them who are coming against us in a Crowd. Let us close up 
here and hold the Road in good order. By this means we shall be able 
to withstand them to their Loss and our Honour." 

w avoir UMoim. Cf. L 12, n. 7 ; i 45- " Fr. trac, from traca=sarcimu t im- 

11 ue. all over, so that nothing of the pedimenta (Du Cange). 
creature could be seen but his ears. 


How the Monk rid himself of his Guards, and how Picrocholfs 

Scouts were defeated 

The Monk, seeing them go off thus in Disarray, conjectured that they 
were going to attack Gargantua and his Men, and he grew wondrous 
sad that he could not succour them. Then he did consider the 
Countenance of his two Archers in guard over him, who would willingly 
have ridden after the Troop to plunder something there, and who were 
all the time looking towards the Valley in which the others were going 

Furthermore he reasoned saying: "These Men are right badly 
skilled in Practice of War, for they have not required my Parole, and 
have not taken my Sword from me." 

Immediately afterwards he drew his said Sword, and with it smote 
the Archer who held him on the right, cutting clean through his 
jugular Veins and the sphagitid Arteries 1 of his Neck, together with the 
Uvula as far as the two Glands, and withdrawing his Weapon, laid open 
the Spinal Marrow between the second and third Vertebrae. Upon 
this the Archer fell quite dead. 

And the Monk, turning his Horse to the left, ran upon the other, 
who seeing his Companion dead, and the Monk at an advantage over 
him, cried with a loud Voice : " Ha, my Lord Prior, I yield myself; my 
Lord Prior, my good Friend, my Lord Prior." 

And the Monk cried out likewise : " My Lord Posterior, my Friend, 
my Lord Posterior, you shall have it on your Posterior." 

" Ha ! " said the Archer, "my Lord Prior, my dear Lord Prior, may 
God make you an Abbot" 

1 The sphagitid Arteries are the main Arist. Hist An. iii. 3, § 6, coming from 
arteries of the neck, as the jugular are afayih the throat. They are now known 
the principal veins. apayinZci occurs as carotid arteries. 




" By the Habit that I wear/' said the Monk, " I will make you a 
Cardinal on the spot Do you put Churchmen to Ransom? You 
shall have a red Hat from my Hand this instant." 

And the Archer cried out : " My Lord Prior, my Lord Prior, my Lord 
Abbot that is to be, my Lord Cardinal, my Lord Everything. Ha, ha, 
h£s, no, my Lord Prior, my good little Lord Prior, I yield myself to you." 

" And I yield you to all the Devils," said the Monk. 

Then at one Blow he sliced his Head, cutting his Scalp over the 
ossa petrosal and taking off the two ossa bregmatis and the sagittal 
Commissure with a great part of the coronal Bone, and in doing this he 
cut through the two Meninges^ and made a deep Gash in the two 
posterior Ventricles of the Brain ; so the cranium remained hanging 
on his Shoulders by the Skin of the pericranium behind, 8 in the Form 
of a Doctor's Bonnet, black without and red within. So he fell to the 
Ground stark dead. 

This done, the Monk set Spurs to his Horse, and followed on the 
way held by the Enemy, who had encountered Gargantua and his 
Companions on the high Road, and were so diminished in Number by 
the enormous Slaughter wrought upon them by Gargantua with his 
great Tree, by Gymnast, Ponocrates, Eudemon and the others, that 
they began to retreat in all Haste, altogether affrighted and troubled 
in Sense and Understanding, as if they had seen Death's proper 
Form and Semblance before their Eyes. 

And — as when you see an Ass 4 with a Junonian oestrus under his 
Tail, or a Fly that stings him, running hither and thither without keeping 
to Path or Road, throwing his Load on to the Ground and breaking his 
Bridle and Reins, without at all taking Breath or Rest, and no Man 

s Os petrosum is the portion of the 
temporal bone of the skull in which the 
internal organs of hearing are situated. 
Ossa bregmatis are the bones containing 
the Fontanel or cavity at the top of the 
head. They are now called parietal bones. 
The coronal is the anterior bone of the 
skull, in modern anatomy the frontal bone. 
The meninges are the three membranes that 
envelop the brain, called dura mater, 
pia mater and the arachnoid membrane. 
The sagittal commissure is the suture that 
goes lengthwise over the skull, uniting 
the parietal bones. 

* Et mediam ferro gemina inter tempora 

Dtridit impubesque immani volnere mala*. 

• • • • • 

Sternit humi moriens atque illi partitas 


Hoc caput atqne illuc umero ex utroque 


Vurg. Aen. ix. 750-755. 

4 This is a ludicrous mock-heroic 
combination of the well-known Homeric 
simile wherein Ajax is compared to an 
ass (IL xi. 558 sqq.) t and the story of Io 
in Aeschylus (Suppl. 541 and Prom. 567), 
who is driven wild over sea and land by 
an oestrus or gad-fly sent by Juno. 
Fielding has carried further a similar idea 
in Tom Jones (Book iv. c 8), but not, I 
think, more effectively. 




can tell what stirs him, for they see not aught that touches him — so 
fled these Folk bereft of their Senses, without knowing the Cause of 
their Flight ; so much are they pursued by nothing but a Panic Terror * 
which they had conceived in their Souls. 

The Monk, seeing that they had no Thought of anything save to take 
to their Heels, gets off his Horse and clambers on to a huge Rock 
which was over the Road, and with his mighty Sabre struck on to these 
Runaways with a great Turn of Strength, without stinting or sparing 
any. So many of them did he slay and overthrow, that his Sword broke 
in two Pieces. Then he bethought himself that enough Massacre and 
Slaughter had been wrought, and that the Rest should escape to bear the 

Therefore he seized in his Fist the Battle-axe of one of those who lay 
dead there, and got upon the Rock again, passing his Time in seeing the 
Enemy flying and stumbling over the dead Bodies; except that he 
made all lay down their Pikes, Swords, Lances and Arquebuses ; and 
those who carried the Pilgrims bound, he made dismount, and gave over 
their Horses to the said Pilgrims, keeping them with him under the 
Shelter of the Hedge ; and also Toucquedillon, whom he kept as his 

5 Panic terror, llapbs dpydt. Panic 
terrors are not specially attributed to the 
agency of the god Pan by the earlier 
Greek writers. The word irwurir (dctpa) 
is used by Josephus, Polybius and Plat- 
arch. Panic fear is mentioned in the 
Rhesus, 1. 36, sometimes (but probably 
wrongly) attributed to Euripides, but 
the inspiration of causeless fear is at- 
tributed to Dionysus and other deities. 
Cf. Eur. Bacchae 305, Medea 1171, 
Hip. 142. In Thuc. iv. 125 is found rh 

(hrcp 0iXei fthyaka crpartrweba daaj&t 
inrXJrrrwrOcu. Cf. also Herod, iv. 203. 
The legend which practically ascribes 
such terrors to Pan is found in Herod. 
vi. 105, where the god Pan complains 
to Pheidippides (the Athenian messenger 
to the Spartans of the news of the battle 
of Marathon) that his worship had been 
neglected by the Athenians, although he 
had been and would be their benefactor. 
Upon this they dedicated the sacellum to 
Pan on the Acropolis. Cf. also 2 
Kings vii. 6-8. 


How the Monk brought in the Pilgrims, and the good Words 

which Gargantua gave them 

This Skirmish over, Gargantua retreated with his Men, except the 
Monk, and at Daybreak came to Grandgousier, who in his Bed was 
praying to God for their Safety and Victory. And, seeing them all 
safe and sound, he embraced them lovingly and asked for Tidings of the 
Monk. But Gargantua answered him that without Doubt their Enemies 
had the Monk. 

" Then," said Grandgousier, " they will have Ill-luck " ; which had 
indeed been very true. Whence the Proverb is still in Use, a "to •Cf.iia,n. 7 . 
give a man the Monk." 

Then he commanded a good Breakfast to be provided for their 
Refreshment When all was ready, they summoned Gargantua, but he 
was so much concerned that the Monk was nowhere to be found, that 
he would neither drink nor eat 

All of a sudden the Monk arrives, 1 and from the Gate of the 
Outer Court he bawls out : " Fresh Wine, fresh Wine, Gymnast, my 

Gymnast went out and saw that it was Friar John, who was bringing 
in five Pilgrims and Toucquedillon Prisoner. Whereupon Gargantua 
went out to meet him, and they made him the best Welcome they 
possibly could, and brought him before Grandgousier, who asked him 
about all his Adventure. 

The Monk told him everything ; how he had been taken, how he 
had rid himself of the Archers, of the Butchery he had wrought on the 

1 Scott is indebted to this passage for of Torquilstone, in his novel of Ivanhoe 
his idea of the Clerk of Copmanhurst bring- (chap. 32). Other points of resemblance 
ing out Isaac of York from the dungeon may perhaps suggest themselves. 

i 5 6 



Road, and how he had recovered the Pilgrims and brought in Captain 
Toucquedillon. Then they fell to banqueting merrily all together. 

Meantime Grandgousier enquired of the Pilgrims from what Country 
they were, whence they came and whither they were going. 

Wearyfoot answered for them all : " My Lord, I am from St Genou 
in Berry, this one is from Paluau, this one from Onzay, this one from 
Argy and this one from Villebrenin.* We come from Saint Sebastian 
near Nantes, and we are returning from there by our short Stages." 

"Yea," said Grandgousier, "but what went you to do at Saint 
Sebastian ? " 

" We went," said Wearyfoot, " to offer up our Vows to him against 
the Plague." 8 

"Oh, poor Creatures," said Grandgousier, "do you think that the 
Plague comes from Saint Sebastian ? " 

"Yea, verily," replied Wearyfoot; "our Preachers do affirm it 
unto us." 

" Is it so ? " said Grandgousier. " False Prophets ! do they proclaim to 
you such Deceits ? Do they in this fashion blaspheme the Just and 
Holy men of God, that they make them like unto Devils, who work 
nought but Mischief among Men? just as Homer writeth that the Plague 
was sent into the Grecian Host by Apollo, and as the Poets feign a 
great Rabble of Vejoves and maleficent Deities. 4 

" Just so at Sinays did a certain Hypocrite 5 preach that Saint Antony 
sent Fire into men's Legs, Saint Eutropius made men Dropsical, Saint 
Gildas Lunatics, Saint Genou made them Gouty. 6 But I punished him 
in so exemplary a Fashion — although he called me a Heretic — that 

■ St. Genou, 6 miles from Buiancais, 
on the Indre. Paluau, a marquisate on 
the same river, 3 miles lower down than 
St. Genou. Onzay-Palluau, in Berry, not 
far from Amboise. Argy, also in Berry, 
4 miles from Buzancais. VUlebrenin, a 
village in Berry, 6 miles from Chatillon- 
sur-Indre, not far from Chateauroux. 

» the Plague. C£ L 27. 

4 Rabelais has in mind the 1st Book 
of the Iliad) in which Apollo is repre- 
sented as sending the plague to the Greeks 
with his arrows (48-52), and also a chapter 
in Aulus Gellius (v. 12), who discusses 
the derivation of Jevis from Juvo, and in- 
dicates a number of Vejoves, etc, who 
were maleficent ; pointing out (§§ iz, 12) 
that Apollo as bearing arrows is looked 

upon as one of them. Ovid (Fast. iiL 445) 
speaks of the Vejoves as minor deities. 

Fr. Caphart. This word gets its form 
from the monkish cowl, but it bears much 
the same meaning as qutteur, a mumping 
friar, who by means of false relics, etc., 
swindled the common people (L 54). 

St. Antonys fire, erysipelas. St. 
Eutropius facit hydropicos. St, Gildas, 
from Gilles, the common name for a half- 
sharp fellow. St. Genou, the patron saint 
of the gouty, in allusion to the knee. 
Cornelius Agrippa (Van. Scient. c 57) 
and H. Estienne (ApoL pour Herod, c 
38) inveigh against this ascription of 
names and powers to the various saints 
from the diseases they are supposed to 
heal or inflict 

chap, xlv GARGANTUA 157 

since that time no such Hypocrite whatever has dared to set Foot in 
my Territory. And I wonder that your King allows them to preach 
such scandalous Doctrine throughout his Kingdom. For they are more 
deserving of Punishment than those, who by Art magical or other 
Device have brought the Plague into the Country. The Plague killeth 
only the b Body, but Impostors * like this poison the Souls." b Matt x. as. 

As he was saying these Words the Monk came in quite hearty, and 
asked them : " Whence come you, poor Wretches ? " 

" From Saint Genou," said they. 

"And how," said the Monk, "doth the Abbot Tranchelion, 7 the 
good Toper ? and the Monks, what Cheer do they keep ? 'Sbody, they 
have a Fling at your Wives while you are thus roaming Romewards." 

" Hin hen," said Wearyfoot, " I have no fear for mine ; for whoso 
shall see her by Day shall never break his Neck on a Visit to her in the 

" You have drawn the wrong Colour again," 8 said the Monk. " She 
may be as ugly as Proserpine, but I swear she will be turned over, since 
there be Monks around, for a good Workman puts all Pieces of Timber 
to use equally. May I be peppered, if you do not find them enlarged 
on your Return, for the very Shadow of an Abbey-steeple is prolific" 

" It is," said Gargantua, " like the Water of the Nile in Egypt, if 
you believe c Strabo and Pliny, libr. vtj., chap, it)'.; 9 Think only what • strabo, xr. 
Virtue is in Crumbs, in Clothes, and in Bodies ! " * 5 " 

Then said Grandgousier : " Go your ways, poor Men, in the name of 
God the Creator ; and may He be as a Guide to you perpetually ; and 
henceforward be not so ready to undertake these idle and unprofitable 
Journeys. Maintain your Families, labour every one of you in his 
Vocation, instruct your Children and live as the good Apostle d Saint d E P 13. 
Paul directeth you. If you do this, you will have the Protection of 
God, the Angels and the Saints ever with you, and there shall be neither 
Plague nor Evil that shall bring you Hurt" 

After this Gargantua led them into the Hall, to take their Refection ; 
but the Pilgrims did nothing but sigh, and they said to Gargantua : 

"O how happy is the Land that hath such a Man for its Lord ! We 
are more edified and instructed by this Discourse, which he hath held 

* AB, mmis ces prtdicatim* diabtliapus btfectiemunt Us dmut det fmwvret tt ttm^kt gwna, 

7 Antoinede Tranchelion, Abbot of St which a player is supposed to have ex- 
Genoa in 1512. In the map of Chinonais changed his own hand for miss, much for 
is a place called Les Roches-Tranchelion. the worse. 

8 Fr. bun rtntri dgpicquts (noires). A • "... in Aegypto, ubi fetifer potu 
metaphor (recurring) taken from cards, in Nilus amnis." 


with us, than by all the Sermons that ever were preached to us in our 
• Rtp. 473 i> " That is," said Gargantua, "what Plato sayeth, "lib. v. de RepubL that 

States would then be happy, when their Kings should philosophise, or 
Philosophers rule." 

Then he caused their Wallets to be filled with Victuals, their Bottles 
with Wine, and to each of them he gave a Horse to ease him for the 
rest of his Journey, and some Caroluses 10 to live upon. 


10 Carolus, a piece worth io deniers coined under Charles VIII., and bearing a 
letter K crowned. 


How Grandgousier humanely entreated Toucquedillon 

his Prisoner 

Toucquedillon was presented to Grandgousier and questioned by him 
on the Enterprise and Conduct of Picrochole, as to what Object he 
proposed by this tumultuary Hubbub. To this he answered that his 
End and Purpose was to con cmer the whole Cou ntry, if he could, in 
return for the Injury done tSThis Cake-bakers. 

Grandgousier said : " It is undertaking too much ; He that grips too 
much holds fast but little. 1 It is no longer the Time thus to conquer 
Kingdoms, to the Hurt of our near Christian Brother. This Imitation 
of the ancient Herculeses, Alexanders, Scipios, Caesars and other such, 
is contrary to the Profession of the Gospel, by which we are enjoined 
to guard, save, rule and administer, each one his own Country and 
Territory, and not in hostile Guise to invade others ; and that which the 
Saracens and Barbarians formerly called Prowess, we now call Robbery 
and Wickedness. He had done better to keep himself in his own 
Domain, governing it like a King, than to march into mine, pillaging it 
like an Enemy ; for by a wise Government he would have augmented, 
it ; by plundering me he will be destroyed 

" Go your ways in the Name of God ; follow after right undertaking ; 
point out to your King the Errors that you shall discover, and never 
give him Counsel with a View to your own particular Profit ;. f or togej 
with th* JVhlir cp^j Privntr mI ■'"■^ i '■ 1 i * » As for your 
Ransom I give it up to you fully, and desire that your Arms and Horse 
be restored to you. 

1 "Qui trop empoigne poay retient" (Coquillart, Droits Nouveaux, i. 196). 
(Hist, dejean IV., due de Brctagnc ; 14th Cf. i. 1 1, 
cent) " Qui trop embrasse mal estraint 





• Rtf. v. 470 

"Such should be the Conduct between Neighbours and ancient 
Friends, seeing that our Difference is not properly War ; as * Plato lib, 
v. de Rep. would not have it called War, but Sedition, when the Greeks 
took up Arms one against another ; and if by evil Fortune such should 
arise, he directs that every Moderation should be used. If you still call 
it War, it is yet but skin-deep, it entereth not into the deep Recesses 
of our Hearts ; for neither of us is wronged in his Honour, and in its 
whole Amount it is only a Question of redressing some Fault committed 
by our People, I mean both yours and ours ; and although you did take 
Cognisance of it, you should have let it pass ; for the disputing Parties 
were such as to merit Contempt rather than Notice ; especially, seeing 
that I offered them Satisfaction according to the Wrong. 

" God will be the just Assessor of our Differences ; and Him I beseech 
rather by Death to remove me from this Life, and to suffer my Goods 
to perish before my Eyes, than that in anything He should be offended 
by me or mine." 

When he had finished these Words, he summoned the Monk, and 
before all of them asked him : " Friar John, my good Friend, is it you 
that took Prisoner the Captain Toucquedillon here present ? " 

" Sire," said the Monk, " he is present ; he is of Age and Discretion ; 
I would rather you should know by his Confession than by my 

Then said Toucquedillon : " My Lord, it is he indeed that took me, 
and I freely yield myself his Prisoner." 

" Have you put him to Ransom ?" said Grandgousier to the Monk. 

" No," said the Monk ; " for that I care nothing." 

" How much," said Grandgousier, " would you take for his Capture ? " 

" Nothing, nothing," said the Monk ; " that doth not sway me." 

Then Grandgousier commanded that in the presence of Toucquedillon 
should be counted out to the Monk sixty-two thousand Angels s for this 
Prize ; which was done whilst they made a Collation for the said Toucque- 
dillon ; of whom Grandgousier asked whether he would stay with him or 
choose rather to return to his King. 

Toucquedillon replied that he would take whichever Course he should 
advise him. 

" Then," said Grandgousier, " return to your King, and God be with 

s ^£»/r,Fr.,rafofr, a gold piece of about land. It took its names from the repre- 

1 2 francs = ios., dating from Charles VI. of sentation of the Salutation on the obverse 

France (d. 1422), struck in great numbers (iv. ProL and 54). On the reverse was a 

in the reigns of Henry V. and VI. of Eng- cross between a leopard and a lily. 

chap, xlvi GARGANTUA 161 

Then he gave him a fine Sword of Vienne 8 with a golden Scabbard 
made with beautiful Scrolls of goldsmith's Work, and a golden Collar 
weighing seven hundred and two thousand Marks, garnished with 
precious Stones, to the value of a hundred and sixty thousand Ducats, 
and ten thousand Crowns besides, as an honourable Present. 

After these Proceedings Toucquedillon mounted his Horse, and for 
a Safe-conduct Gargantua gave him thirty Men-at-arms and six Score 
Archers under the command of Gymnast, to escort him as far as the 
Gates of La Roche-Clermaud, if need were. 

When he had set out, the Monk restored to Grandgousier the sixty-two | 
thousand Angels that he had received, saying : " Sire, it is not at this 
Time that you should make such Presents. Wait till the End of this 
War, for none can tell what Accidents may arise, and War made without 
good Provision of Money hath only a quick Burst of Strength. Money I 
is the Sinews of War." 4 * 

"Well then," said Grandgousier, "at the End I will content you by 
some honourable Recompense, and also all those who shall have done 
me Service. n 

* Vienne in Dauphinl, long celebrated 4 " Nervos belli pecuniam infinitam " 
for sword cutlery. (Cic Phil. v. § 5). 



How Grandgousier sent for his Legions, and how Toucquedillon 
slew Rashcalf and was afterwards slain by Order 

of Picrochole 

In those same Days the Men of Bessl, Old Market, St. James Burgh, 
Trainneau, Parill£, Riviere, Roches Saint Paul, Vaubreton, Pautilld, 
Brehemont, Clainbridge, Cravant, Grandmont, Bourdes, Villaumfcre, 
Huymes, Segrl, Hussl, Sainct-Louant, Panzoust, Coldreaux, Verron, 
Coulaines, Chose\ Varennes, Bourgueil, Isle Bouchard, Croullay, Narsay, 
Cande, Montsoreau 1 (Mount Sorel) and other neighbouring Places, 
sent Embassies unto Grandgousier, to tell him that they were advised of 
the Wrongs which Picrochole was doing him, and for the sake of their 
ancient Confederation they offered him all their Power, in Men as well 
as Money, and other Munitions of War. 

The Money from all these, raised by the Conventions which they 
sent to him, amounted to six score and fourteen millions and two and a 
half Crowns of Gold. The Forces were fifteen thousand Men-at-arms, 
thirty-two thousand light Horse, eighty-nine thousand Arquebusiers, a 
hundred and forty thousand Volunteers, eleven thousand two hundred 
Cannons, double Cannons, Basilisks and Spiroles.* There were forty- 
seven thousand Pioneers; the whole Force being victualled and paid 
for six Months and four Days. 

This Offer Gargantua did not refuse, nor accept altogether; but 
thanking them heartily, said that he would arrange this War by such 
Policy that there should be no need to call out 8 so many honest Folk. 

He was content to despatch an Officer to bring along in order the 

1 These are all places belonging manner of the second Book of the 

to Anjou or Maine, and mostly situ- Iliad, 

ated in Chinonais. The list is given * For the various pieces of artillery, see 

in mock - Homeric vein, after the i. 26. * tmptscher. Cf, L 28. 

chap, xlvii GARGANTUA 163 

Legions which he maintained ordinarily in his Garrison Towns of La 
Devinifere, 4 Chaviny, Gravot and Quinquenais, amounting in Number to 
two thousand five hundred Men-at-arms, sixty-six thousand Foot-soldiers, 
twenty-six thousand Arquebusiers, two hundred great pieces of Artifiery, 
twenty-two thousand Pioneers and six thousand light Horse, all in Com- 
panies so well fitted and furnished with their Paymasters, Sutlers, 
Farriers, Armourers and other Men necessary for a military Train, 5 all 
so well instructed in the military Art, so well armed, so perfectly know- 
ing and following their Colours, so ready to hear and obey their Captains, 
so expeditious to run, so strong in Charging, so cautious in Adventure 
that they rather resembled a Concert of Organ-pipes and a perfect 
Arrangement of Clock-work than an Army or Squadron of Horse. 6 

On his Return, Toucquedillon presented himself before Picrochole, 
and related to him at length what he had both done and seen. At the 
End he counselled him by powerful Arguments to come to an Agree- 
ment with Grandgousier, whom he had found to be the honestest Man 
in the World; adding that it was neither Right nor Reason thus to 
molest his Neighbours, from whom they had never received aught but 
Good ; and with regard to the main Point, that they would never come 
out of this Enterprise save to their great Damage and Mischief, for the 
Power of Picrochole was not so great but that Grandgousier could easily 
overthrow them. 

He had not well finished speaking thus, when Rashcalf said out 
aloud : " Most unhappy is the Prince who is served by such Men as are 
so easily corrupted, as I perceive Toucquedillon to be ; for I see that 
his Heart is so changed that he would willingly have allied himself with 
our Enemies to fight against us and betray us, if they had wished to 
retain him ; but just as Virtue is praised and esteemed by all, Friends 
and Foes alike, so is Wickedness soon known and suspected; and 
although our Enemies use it to their Advantage, still they always hold 
the Wicked and Traitors in Abomination." 

At these Words Toucquedillon, flying out, drew his Sword and with 
it ran Rashcalf through the Body a little above the left Breast, of which 
he died incontinently. And drawing back his Sword he said boldly : 
" So perish he who Vassals true shall blame." 7 

4 La Devintire, between Chinon and account, it should be borne in mind that 

Lernl, was Rabelais' property. The other La Roche-Clermaud is a place of about 

places are close to Chinon. 600 inhabitants, distant only 2 kilometres 

8 Trac dc baiailU. L. Lat. iraca (Du from Seuilll, 6 from Lern£ and about 

Cange). Cf. i. 43 Jin. 7 from Chinon. 

• To appreciate the humour of this y * a^„ ^ a^ ^ rmmM „ Ru 
passage, indeed of the whole of this Horn. Od. 1 47. 


• v. 2a. 


Picrochole straightway grew furious, and, seeing the Sword and 
Scabbard so richly chased and diapered, called out : 

" Did they give thee this Weapon to slay feloniously in my Presence 
my right good Friend Rashcalf ?" 

Then he commanded his Archers to hew him in Pieces, which was 
done instantly, and so cruelly that the Chamber was all covered with 
Blood ; afterwards he had the Body of Rashcalf honourably buried and 
that of Toucquedillon thrown over the Walls into .the Ditch. 

The News of these Outrages was known by the whole Army, whereat 
several began to murmur against Picrochole, insomuch that Grippe-pineau 
said to him : " My Lord, I know not what will be the Issue of this 
Enterprise. I see your Men but little staunch in their Hearts. They 
consider that we are here ill provided with Victuals, and already much 
diminished in Numbers by two or three Sallies. Furthermore, great 
Reinforcements of Men come in to your Enemies. If we are once 
besieged, I see not how it can end otherwise than in our total Overthrow." 

" Muck, muck," said Picrochole ; " you are like the Eels of a Melun ; 
you cry out before they skin you. Only let them come." 


How Gargantua attacked Picrochole within La Roche-Clertnaud 
and defeated the Army of the said Picrochole 

Gargantua had the entire Charge of the Army : his Father remained 
in his Castle. And inspiring them with Courage by kind Words, he 
promised great Rewards to those who should perform any Deeds of 

After this they came on to the Ford of Vede, and by Boats and 
Bridges lightly constructed they passed over without a Break. Then 
considering the Situation of the Town, that it was in a high and ad- 
vantageous Place, he deliberated over-night on what was to be done. 

But Gymnast said to him: "My Lord, such is the Nature and 
Complexion of the French, that they are worth nothing but at the first 
Rush. Then they are worse than Devils, but if they delay they are 
fainter than Women. My Opinion therefore is that now, presently, 
after your men have a little taken Breath and Food, you give Order for 
the Assault" 

This Advice was found good Therefore he drew out all his Army 
into the open Field, putting his Reserves on the side of the rising 
ground The Monk took with him six Companies of Foot and two 
hundred Men-at-arms, and with great Diligence crossed the Fen and 
occupied the Ground above the Well right up to the Highway from 

Meantime the Assault went on. Picrochole's Men did not know 
whether it was best to sally forth and receive them, or rather to keep 
within the Town without stirring. But he set out madly with a Troop 
of Men-at-arms of his Guard, and "there was received and treated with 
great Cannon-shot which hailed on the Hill-sides; whereupon the 
Gargantuists retired to the Valley in order better to give way to the 


Those of the Town defended themselves the best they could, but 
their Shots passed over and beyond, without striking any one. 

Some of his Company that had escaped the Artillery set fiercely 
upon our Men, but got little by it ; for they were all received betwixt 
the Files and dashed to the Ground. Seeing this, they would have 
retreated, but in the meanwhile the Monk had seized upon the Pass ; 
whereupon they took to flight without Order or Discipline. 

Some would have given them Chase, but the Monk held them back, 
through fear lest, as they followed the Fugitives, they might lose their 
Ranks, and at this Pass those from the Town should set upon them. 
Then after waiting some Space and none appearing to encounter him, 
he sent Duke Phrontist£s to advise Gargantua to advance, so as to gain 
the Hill on the left, to cut off the Retreat of Picrochole by the Gate on 
that Side. 

This Gargantua did with all Diligence, and sent thither four Legions 
of the Company of Sebastus ; but they could not reach the Height so 
soon, but they must needs meet face to face Picrochole and those who 
were dispersed with him. 

Then they charged them stoutly ; notwithstanding, they were much 
damaged by those who were on the Walls by their Archery and Artillery. 
Seeing this, Gargantua went with a strong Party to their Relief; and his 
Artillery began to play upon the Walls in this Quarter so strongly that 
the whole Force of the Town was withdrawn thither. 

The Monk, seeing the Side, which he was besieging, denuded of 
Men and Guards, courageously led on to the Fort, and succeeded so 
well that he gained a Footing on it, himself and some of his Men, 
believing that more Fear and Terror is wrought by those who come up 
fresh in a Conflict than by those who are already engaged in it with 
all their Might 1 Anyhow, he gave no Alarm whatever, till all his Men 
had gained the Wall, excepting the two hundred Men-at-arms whom he 
left outside as a Provision against Accidents. 

Then did he give a horrible Shout, he and his Men together, and 
without Resistance they put to the Sword the Guards of that Gate and 
opened it to their Men-at-arms, and with great Courage ran together 
towards the East Gate, where the Havock was going on, and coming up 
in the Rear overthrew all the Enemy's Force. 

The Besieged, seeing that the Gargantuists had won the Town at all 
Points, surrendered to the Monk at Discretion. He made them give 

1 Cf. Thuc. v. 9: rb y&p lirtdr ftrre/xw dc&brcpov roit ToXe/Jott roG rdporrot xol 
fiaxofiivov (Motteux). 

chap, xlviii GARGANTUA 167 

up their Weapons and Arms, and retreat all of them, and shut themselves 
up in the Churches ; seizing all the Staves of the Crosses, 8 and stationing 
men at the Gates to keep them from going forth. Then opening the 
Eastern Gate, he sallied forth to the Help of Gargantua. 

But Picrochole believed that Succour was come to him from the 
Town, and in Presumption ventured forward more than before, until 
Gargantua cried out : " Friar John, my Friend, Friar John, Welcome in 
good time." Upon this Picrochole and his Men, perceiving that all was 
lost, took to Flight on every Side. 

Gargantua pursued them till near Vaugaudry, killing and slaying, 
and then sounded the Retreat. 

1 Remembering bis own exploits therewith. Cf. i 27. 


How Picrochole in his Flight was overtaken by Ill-fortune, 
and what Gargantua did after the Battle 

Picrochole thus in Despair fled away toward the Isle Bouchart 
On the Road to Rivifere his Horse stumbled and fell, upon which he 
was so much enraged that he slew him in his Choler 1 with his Sword. 
Then finding no one to remount him, he was going to take an Ass at 
the Mill that was near there ; but the Millers belaboured him all over 
with Blows and stripped him of his Habiliments, and gave him a scurvy 
canvas Jacket * to cover himself withal 

And so departed this poor choleric Wretch ; afterwards, as he was 
crossing the Water at Port Huaulx, 8 and recounting his Ill-fortune, it was 
foretold him by an old club-foot 4 Hag that his Kingdom should be 
restored to him at the Coming of the Cockicranes. From that time 
forth no one knows what has become of him. Nevertheless, I have 
been told that he is at present a wretched Porter 5 at Lyons, choleric as 
ever, and always pestering 6 all Strangers concerning the Coming of the 
Cockicranes, in certain Hope, according to the Prophecy of the old 
Hag, that at their Coming he shall be restored to his Kingdom. 

After their Return, Gargantua first and foremost called a Muster-roll 
of his Men, and found that but few of them had been lost in the Battle, 
to wit, some few Foot-soldiers of the Company of Captain Tolmfere, and 
Ponocrates, who had an Arquebus -ball in his Doublet. Then he 
caused them to take Refreshment, each in his Company, and com- 

1 Fr. chole, from Gk. x°M« confluence of the Indie and a branch of 

1 Fr. sequenye, L. Lat. soscania. Sous- the Cher opposite Langeais. 
quenie occurs in the Roman de la Rose, * Fr. lourpidm, Lat. Loripes. 

and sequannu in Letters of 1393 (Du B This seems to indicate that Rabelais 

Cange). Cf. iv. N. Prol. n. 63. here intends to satirise some pet aversion 

* Port Huaulx is a village near the of his own at Lyons. * Fr. guememte. 

chap, xlix GARGANTUA 169 

manded his Commissaries that this Repast should be defrayed and paid 
for in their Behalf, and that there should be no Outrage whatever com- 
mitted in the Town, seeing it was his own. After their Repast, they 
were to appear in the Square before the Castle, and there should receive 
six Months' Pay ; which was all carried out 

Then he caused to be assembled before him in the said Square all 
those that remained of the Party of Picrochole, to whom in the presence 
of all his Princes and Captains he spoke as follows : 


The Harangue which Gargantua made to the Vanquished 


Our Fathers, Grandfathers and Ancestors in all recorded Time have 
had this Feeling and this Disposition, that of the Battles won by them 
they have chosen rather to raise, as a Sign and Memorial of their 
Triumphs and Victories, Trophies and Monuments in the Hearts of the 
Vanquished by Clemency^than in the Lands conquered by them, by 
Architecture; for tney more esteemed the lively Recollection of Men 
gained by Liberality, than the mute Inscriptions on Arches, Colonnades 
and Pyramids, subject to the Injuries of the Climate and the Envy of 
every one. 1 

"You may very well remember the Clemency which they showed 
towards the Bretons on the Day 8 of St Aubin du Cormier, and at the 
demolishing of Parthenay. You have heard, and hearing admired, the 
gentle Treatment they showed towards the Barbarians of Spagnola, who 
had pillaged, depopulated and ransacked the maritime Borders of 
Olonne and Thalmondais. 

" All this Hemisphere has been filled with the Praises and Congratu- 

1 " Arcus enim ct statuas, axas etiam Brittany, supported by the Duke of 

tcmplaque demolitur et obscorat oblivio, Orleans, afterwards Louis XII., and 

neglegit carpitque posteritas. . . . Non English, German and Gascon allies. In 

ergo perpetua prindpi fama . . . sed 1491 Louis XII. was released from his 

bona concupiscenda est : ea porro non imprisonment by Charles VIII. 
imaginibus et statuis sed virtute ac mentis The fortifications of Parthenay were 

prorogatur " (Plin. Panegyr. c. 55). destroyed by the troops of Charles VIII. 

1 July 28, 1488. Near Rennes in fighting against Dunois. The upshot was 

Brittany. The army of Charles VIII., that Charles married Anne of Brittany, 

commanded by Louis de la Tremoille which was attached to the French crown, 

(despatched by Anne de Beaujeu, eldest The historical facts here mentioned make it 

daughter of Louis XI., sister and practi- certain that, here at least, Grandgousier re- 

cally regent of the King), gained a com- presents Louis XII., among whose fathers 

plete victory over Francis II., Duke of and ancestors Charles VIII. must count. 

chap, l GARGANTUA 171 

lations which you and your Fathers bestowed, when Alpharbal, 8 Ring of 
Canaria, not satisfied with his own Fortunes, did furiously invade the 
Land of Onyx, 4 practising Piracy throughout all the Armorican Islands 
and the neighbouring Regions, He was taken and overcome in a set 
naval Fight by my Father, whom may God preserve and protect. 

" But what did we see ? In a Case in which other Kings and Em- 
perors, yea those who have themselves styled Catholic? would have 
miserably ill-treated him, roughly imprisoned him and put him to an 
exorbitant Ransom, he treated him with Courtesy and Loving-kindness, 
lodged him with himself in his Palace, and out of his incredible Gracious- 
ness sent him back under Safe-conduct, loaded with Gifts, loaded with 
Favours, loaded with all Offices of Friendship. 

"And what came of it ? The King, being returned to his Country, 
called an Assembly of all the Princes and Estates of his Kingdom, set 
forth to them the Humanity he had found in us, and desired them to 
deliberate on this, in such a way that the World should therein have an 
Example in them nf grafiious^ gonour , as it already had in us of an 
honouxahlp jjraciousness. Thereupon it was decreed by unanimous 
Consent that an .Offer should be made to us of their entire Lands, 
Domains and Kingdom, to be disposed of according to our Discretion. 

" Alpharbal in his own person immediately returned with nine thou- 
sand and thirty-eight great Ships of burden, bringing not only the 
treasures of his House and Royal Family, but of nearly all the Country ; 
for as he was embarking to set sail with a west-north-east Wind, every 
one in the Crowd threw on board the Ships Gold, Silver, Rings, Jewels, 
Spices, Drugs and aromatic Perfumes, Parrots, Pelicans, Apes, Civet- 
cats, spotted Weasels and Porcupines. He was accounted no good 
Mother's Son, who did not cast in whatever he had that was rare. 

" When he had arrived, he wished to kiss the Feet of my Father afore- 
said ; this Act was deemed unworthy and not allowed, so he was em- 
braced as a Companion : he then offered his Presents ; they were not 

* Conjecture is not safe as to the quarters in Madrid and exacted of him 
identity of Alpharbal, though the Canary humiliating terms by the treaty of Madrid, 
Islands are mentioned in i. 13, 31 ; ii. viz. the cession of Burgundy, Flanders 
11, 33. and Artois, renunciation of all claim to 

4 The Land of Onyx is the Pais Milan and Naples, and the restoration to 
d'Aunix (Pagus Alanensis), a small sea- the Constable Bourbon of his forfeited 
side tract containing La Rochelle. The domains. The two elder sons of Francis 
Armorican Islands are our Channel Islands were given as hostages. The treaty of 
—Jersey, etc. Cambrai — the • • Paix des Dames " — ratified 

9 CathclU. This is certainly an allusion \ this, with the modification that two million 
to the treatment of Francis I. by Charles \ crowns should be paid in lieu of the cession 
V., who imprisoned him in uncomfortable W Burgundy. 


received, as being far too excessive. He gave himself up as a Bondsman 
and Servant voluntarily, himself and his Posterity ; this was not accepted 
because it did not seem equitable. He surrendered, according to the 
Decree .of his States-General, his Lands and Kingdom, proffering the 
Deed and Conveyance, signed, sealed and ratified by all those who were 
concerned to do it ; this was altogether refused and the Contracts thrown 
in the Fire. 

" The End of it was that my Father began to lament with Compassion 
and weep copiously, when he considered the free Goodwill and Sim- 
plicity of the Canarians ; and by choice Words and fitting Sentences 
he made light of the good Turn he had done them, declaring that he 
had not done them any Service that was to be valued in the Estimation 
of a Button, and if he had shown them anything in the way of Courtesy 
he was only bound to do it But so much the more did Alpharbal 
augment it 

" What was the Issue ? Whereas for his Ransom, taken at an extreme 
Rate, we should have been able tyrannically to exact twenty times a 
hundred thousand Crowns and to keep as Hostages his eldest Children, 
they voluntarily made themselves perpetual Tributaries, and bound them- 
selves to deliver every Year two millions of Gold four-and-twenty Carats 
fine. These were paid to us here the first Year ; the second Year of 
their own Free will they paid twenty-three hundred thousand Crowns ; 
the third Year twenty-six hundred thousand; the fourth Year three 
Millions ; and so do they always raise it of their own good Will that we 
shall be constrained to prevent them from bringing us any more. 

" This is the Nature ofGratitude. For Time, which gnaws away and 
diminishes all Things, only augments and increases Benefits, because 
one noble Act freely done to a Man of Reason grows continually by his 
generous Thoughts and Remembrance. 

" Being unwilling, therefore, in any way to degenerate from the heredi- 
tary Graciousness of my Parents, I do now forgive you and set you at 
Liberty and make you frank and free as you were before. 

" Moreover, at your Going out at the Gate, you shall have every one 
of you three Months' Pay, to enable you to reach your Houses and 
Families ; and you shall be conducted in Safety by six hundred Men-at- 
arms and eight thousand Foot under the Command of my Esquire 
Alexander, to the end that you may not be injured by the Peasants. 
— God be with you. 

6 Button. Cf. also iii. 22, Jc ne nfen soucie (Pun bouton ; an expression common 
in Anjou. 

chap, l GARGANTUA 173 

" I regret with all my Heart that Picrochole is not here, for I would 
have given him to understand that it was without my Will and without 
any Hope of increasing either my Estate or my Name, that this War was 
undertaken. But seeing that he is lost, and no one knows where or 
how he has disappeared, it is my Wish that his Kingdom should remain 
undiminished with his Son ; and because he is too young — for he is not 
yet full five Years old — he shall be governed and instructed by the 
ancient Princes and the learned Men of the Kingdom. 

" And inasmuch as a Kingdom thus left desolate would be readily 
ruined, if the Covetousness and the Avarice of its Administrators were 
not curbed, I ordain and will that Po rtocrates be Inten dant over all his 
Governors, with Authority thereunto requisite, and that he be constantly 
with the Child, until he shall find him fit and able to rule and govern 
by himself. 

" I hold that a too nerveless and weak Readiness to pardon Evil- 
doers is the Occasion to them of lightly doing wrong again, through such 
pernicious Trust and Favour. 

" I bear in mind that Moses, the meekest Man 7 that was in his time 
on the Earth, did sharply punish the Mutinous and Seditious of the 
Children of Israel. 

" I bear in mind that Julius Caesar, who was so gracious a Commander 
that Cicero said of him, 'that his Fortune had nothing higher than 
that he could, and his Temper nothing better than that he would, save 
and pardon every Man.' 8 Notwithstanding all this, he did in certain 
Instances rigorously punish the Authors of Rebellion. 

"Following these Examples, I desire before you depart that you 
deliver up to me : t 

" Firstly, that fine Fellow Marquet,\who has been the Origin and First 
Cause of this War by his vain Presumption ; 

" Secondly, his Companions the Cake-bakers^ who neglected to correct 
his headstrong Folly on the spot ; 

"And lastly, all the Advisers, Captains, Officers and Servants of 
Picrochole who have incited, applauded or counselled him to go out of 
his Borders, in order thus to trouble us." 

7 "Erat enim Moyses vir mitissimus * " Nihil habet, Caesar, nee fortunatua 

super omnes homines qui morabantur in majus quam ut possis, nee natura tua 

terra " (Num. xii. 3). For his punishments melius quam ut velis, servare quam 

c£ Exod. xxxiiL 27 : Num. xL 31-33 ; xiL plurimos" (Cic pro Ligario, § 38). 
9, 10; xvi. 


How the victorious Gargantuists were recompensed after 

the Battle 

When this Harangue had been made by Gargantua, the seditious Men 
required by him were delivered up, excepting Spadassin, Merdaille and 
Menuail, who had fled six Hours before the Battle, one as far as the 
Neck of Laignel l at a Stretch, the other as far as the Valley of Vire, 2 
the other right to Logroine, 8 without looking behind them or taking 
Breath on the Road ; and two Cake-bakers who were slain in the Fight 
Gargantua did them no other Hurt save that he ordered them to pull 
at the Presses of his Printing-house,* which he had newly set up. 

Then those who had died there he caused to be honourably buried 
in the Valley of the Walnut-trees 6 and the Field of Burn-witch. The 
wounded he had dressed and treated in his great Hospital 6 After- 
wards he took thought for the Damages done to the Town and its 
Inhabitants, and had them reimbursed for all their Losses, on their 
sworn Declaration. And he caused a strong Fort to be built there, 
appointing thereto a Garrison and Guard, to defend themselves better 
for the future against sudden Risings. 

At his Departure he graciously thanked all the Soldiers of his Legions 
who had been present at this Defeat, and sent them back to winter in 
their Quarters. and Garrisons, except some of the dtcumanc* 1 Legion, 

1 Laignel. Perhaps some pass in the B Walnut-trees. So Cotgrave trans- 
Alps, lates Noirettes . Calepinus puts Nigdla-=- 

9 Vol de Vire, in Normandy. Noirettes, in which case it is a nulanthium. 

8 Logroine. Logrono in Spain, just * Fr. Nosocome (vwroKOfuior). 

beyond Pampeluna, on the frontiers of 7 aecumane, an allusion to Caesar's 

Navarre. favourite Tenth Legion (Bell. Gall i. 42). 

4 A royal Printing-house was estab- For aecumane in another sense, cf. iii 38, 

lished at the Louvre by Francis I. iv. 23 and v. 22. 

chap, li GARGANTUA 175 

whom he had witnessed performing some Exploits in the Field ; and 
the Captains of the Bands, whom he took with him to Grandgousier. 

At the Sight and Coming of them the Good man was so joyous that 
it would be impossible to describe it He then made them a Festival, 
the most magnificent, the most sumptuous and the most delicious that 
had been seen since the time of a King Ahasuerus. * Esther 1 1-9. 

As they came from Table he distributed to each of them the Orna- 
mentation of his Sideboard, which was in Weight eighteen hundred 
thousand and fourteen Besants of Gold, in great antique Vessels, huge 
Pots, large Basons, big Tasses, Cups, Goblets, Candelabra, Baskets, Sauce- 
boats, Flower-pots, Comfit-boxes and other such Plate, all of massive 
Gold, besides the precious Stones, Enamelling, and Workmanship, which 
by all men's Estimation exceeded the Worth of the Material 

Besides, he had counted out from his Coffers, to each of them a 
hundred thousand Crowns in ready Money, and over and above to each 
of them he gave in Perpetuity (unless they died without Heirs) his 
Castles and Lands adjoining, according as they were most convenient 
to them. To Ponocrates he gave La Roche-Clermaud ; to Gymnast, Le 
Couldray ; to Eudemon, Montpensier ; Le Rivau to Tolmfere ; to Ithy- 
bolle, Montsoreau ; to Acamas, Cande ; Varennes to Chironacte ; Gravot 
to Sebastus; Quinquenais to Alexander; Ligr£ to Sophronius; and so 
of his other Places. 8 

8 The places here mentioned are, as keeping with the " Hellenistic " tendency 
usual, in the vicinity of Chinon, and the we find throughout the book, both in the 
Greek name of each of the warriors is in adoption and invention of words. 


How Gargantua caused to be built for the Monk the 

A bbey pf Thelema l 

There remained only the Monk to provide for, whom Gargantua wished 
• cr. 1 27. to make Abbot of * Seuill£, but he refused it He wished to give him 
the Abbey of Bourgueil or Saint-Florent, 2 which would suit him better, 
or both if it pleased him ; but the Monk gave him a decided Answer 
r that over Monks he would have no Charge or Government 

" For how," said he, " should I be able to govern others, when I cannot 
govern myself? 8 If you think that I have done you acceptable Service, 
or that in the Future I can do so, give me leave to found an Abbey 
\ after my own Device." 

The Request pleased Gargantua, and he offered him all the Country 
of Theleme 4 by the River Loire to within two leagues of the great 
Forest of Port-Huault T he Monk then requested, Garga nt ua tfl, 
" (stitute his religious Order in a Manner exactly opposite to that of all 

" In the first place then," said Gargantua, " you must not build Walls 
all round it, for all other Abbeys are proudly walled (murtes)" 
J r^ « Exactly," said the Monk, <c not without Reason ; where there is 
Mur before and Mur behind, there is plenty of Murmur, Envy and 
mutual Conspiracy." 

Moreover, seeing that in certain Convents in the World it is the 

/Practice that if any Woman or Women (I speak of chaste and honest 

Women) enter in, they immediately cleanse the Place over which they 

1 Thelema. The main idea in the word &PX € > rp&rw /naddjv dpx^dcu. Arist Pol, 

is the Greek Oikwia, will, do as you please, iii. 4, ofc tortr tf A/o&u n*i dpxOhrnu 

% These were two rich abbeys of * The Abbey of Theleme, if we follow 

Benedictines, the first four leagues from the text, must be placed at the confluence 

Saumur, the second quite close to it of the Cher with the Loire, N.E. of 

8 Cf. Solon apud D. Laert. i. 2, § 60, Chinon, near Rupuanne. 







have passed, 6 it was ordered that if any Man or Woman of any religious 
Orders should enter into this Abbey by Chance or Accident, all the 
Places by which they had passed should be scrupulously cleansed. 

And because in the Religions of this World everything is compassed 
about, limited and regulated by Hours, it was decreed that in thi s 
Abbey there should not be Clock or Dial of any kin d whatever, 6 but 
that alT llieir -Busmen should be arranged according to Occasions and 
Opportunities ; " for," said Gargantua, " the most real Loss of Time t hat 
he knew, was that of counting the Houj>— what Good comes of it ? — ; 

rag »n rfrgfl)aff» prte's self b y the Sound 
gf arBefi, I andjwLfejMtheDictates of Good Sense andUnderstanding." 

[tern, because at thattime they placed in religious Houses b no b Cf. ▼. 4. 
Women save those who were one-eyed, lame, hunch-backed, ugly, ill- 
made, lunatic, senseless, bewitched or blemished, nor Men save those 
who were sickly, ill-born, silly and a Burden to their Family . . . 

" Apropos," said the Monk, " a Woman who is neither fair nor good, 
to what Purpose serves such ? " 7 

" To make a Nun o(" said Gargantua. 

" Yea," said the Monk, " and to make Shirts "... 
it was ordered that here should be admitted no Women that were 
not fair, well-featured and of a good Disposition, nor Men that were not 
handsome, well-made and well-conditioned. 

Item, because in the Convents of Women Men never entered but at 
unawares and clandestinely, it was decreed that here there should be no 
Women in case there were no Men, nor Men in case there were no Women. 

Item, because Men and Women alike, once received into religious 
Orders, after their Year of Probation, were forced and bound to remain 
there for ever, as long as their Life should last, it was established that 
Men and Women alike, received into this House, might go out thence 
whenever it seemed good to them, without Let or Hindrance. 

Item, because ordinarily the Religious Orders made three Vows, to 
wit, of Chastity, Poverty and Obedience, it was appointed that those who 
took these Orders might be honourably married, that every one might 
be rich, and live at Liberty. 

With regard to the lawful Age, the Women were to be received there 
from ten to fifteen Years, and the Men from twelve to eighteen. 

■ It is the practice among the Car- 

6 The same principle is established by 
Rabelais in iv. 64, and enforced by several 
amusing reasons. 


7 Fr. a quoi vault tcilef The pro- 
nunciation of telle (Lat talis) and toik 
(Lat. tela) in Rabelais' time was the 
same. This allows the perpetration of 
a pun. 



How the Abbey of the Theletnites was built and endowed 

For the Building and Furnishing of the Abbey, Gargantua caused to 
be given out in ready Money twenty-seven hundred thousand eight 
• a. l 8,11.30. hundred and thirty -one a long-woolled Sheep; and every Year, till 
the whole should be completed, he charged on the Income of the River 
Dive 1 sixteen hundred and nine thousand Sun-Crowns 8 and as many 
Crowns of the Pleiades. 8 

For the Foundation and Maintenance thereof he gave in Perpe- 
tuity twenty-three hundred and sixty-nine thousand five hundred and 
fourteen Rose Nobles * as a fee-farm Rent, free of all Burdens and Ser- 
/ vice, and payable every Year at the Gate of the Abbey. And of this he 

gave a Grant to them in fair Letters-Patent 

*he Building was hexagonal in Shane, in such fashion that at each 
■* A ngle was built a large circular Tower gf si*tv naras in , Diameter. 

£ faflY wpr*> n\\ ylilrft i q size and Design^ 

The River Loire ran on the North or Septentrionic side. On the 
Bank of it was situated one of the Towers called Arctic. Facing 
towards the East was another called Calaer ; the next following was 
called Anatole, the next after Mesembrine, the next after that Hesperian, 
and the last Cryerine. 

Between each Tower was a Space of three hundred and twelve 

The whole was built in six Stages, counting the Cellars underground as 

1 sus la recepte de la Dive. The Dive • Crowns of the Pleiades (Fr. d VestoUU 

is a little marshy river in Poitou. The poussiniere) are, of course, money of 

modern French expression would be sur Rabelais' invention. 

Us brouillards de la Seine (M.) 4 Rose Nobles, gold pieces struck by 

1 escus au soleil, gold pieces of Louis Edward III. of England (1345), worth 

XI. (1475). Over a crown in the device about £1 sterling. The rose finds place 

was the sun with eight rays. there as the emblem of England. 



one. The second Stage was vaulted in the form of the Handle of a 
Basket The rest was ceiled 6 with Plaster of Flanders 8 in the form of 
pendent Tail-pieces. The Top was covered with fine Slate with a 
backing of Lead, with figures of Grotesques and Animals well arranged 
and gilded; together with the Gutters which came out of the Wall 
between the Casements, painted in diagonal Shape in gold and azure 
down to the Ground, where they ended in great Conduit-pipes, which 
all led into the River below the House. 

The said Building was a hundred times more magnificent than is 
Bonnivet, 7 Chambourg or Chantilly ; s for in it were nine thousand 
three hundred and thirty-two Chambers, each one furnished with an 
inner Chamber, a Cabinet, a Wardrobe, a Chapel and an Opening into 
a great Hall. 

Between each Tower, in the Middle of the said Ma in -building, was a 
winding Staircase within this same Building ; its Steps were, some of 
Porphyry, some of Numidian Stone, 9 and some of serpentine Marble, 
twenty-two feet in Length and three fingers thick, laid twelve in Number 
between each Landing-place. In every Landing there were two fine 
antique Arches, by which the Light was admitted ; and through them 
there was an Entrance into a Cabinet, made with Lattice-windows, and 
of the Breadth of the said Staircase ; and the Ascent went up to the 
Roof and there ended in a Pavilion. By that Staircase there was an 
Entrance on each Side into a great Hall, and from the Halls into the 

From the Arctic Tower to the Cryerine were the fine great Libraries 
of Books in Greek, Latin, Hebrew, French, Italian and Spanish, 
arranged in the different Stages 1D according to these Languages. 

In the midst was a marvellous winding Staircase, the Entry to which 
was outside the Building in an Arch six Fathoms broad It was built 
in such Symmetry and Breadth that six Men-at-arms with Lance in rest 
could ride abreast right to the Top of the whole Building. 

* Fr. cmbrvnchj, from L. Lai. imbri- 
care, to cover with tiles, to roof, lo ceil 

* guj de Flandres ( = Lat. gypsum). 
This plaster was in great repute. 

1 Bonnivet, a castle near Chatelleraut 
in Poitou, built by Admiral Bonnivet 
from 1513 to 1525, when be was killed 

» Chambourg (or Chamber?) and 
Chantilly were not begun till 1556, and 
consequently could not be mentioned in 

the first editions of Gargantua (1533- 

' Numidian Stent must mean giallo 
antico. Great quantities of this were 
used in ancient Roman buildings, prin- 
cipally for pillars. Cf. Hor. C. ii. 18, 4 ! 
" Columnar ultima recisas Africa. " Pliny 
also mentions it more than once. 

10 eslagts. Does this mean here storeys, 
of which there were fine— exclusive of the 
cellars — for six languages, or is there a 
library for each language in each tower ? 

Z_^s^ v '3^X«r *f*Jfel>^ 




From the Anatole to the Mesembrine Tower were fine spacious 
Galleries all painted with ancient Feats of Arms, Histories, and Descrip- 
tions of the Earth. In the midst thereof was a like Ascent and a 
Gate, as we have said there was on the River-side. 

Upon that Gate was written in large antique Letters the Inscription 
which followeth : 



Inscription put over the Great Gate of Thelema 

I Enter not here, ye Hypocrites and Bigots, 
I Ugly old Apes and pursy Whimperers, 
j With Necks awry, 1 worse Boobies than the Goths, 
j Or Ostrogoths, precursors of Magoths ; 2 
I Woe-begone Vermin, 8 Cowl 4 -and-Sandal Wearers, 
j Cadgers bemittened, flagellating Spungers, 
Hooted Gorbellies, Stirrers-up of Heats ; 
Begone elsewhere to sell your wicked Cheats. 
Your wicked Frauds and Cheats 
Would fill my Fields and Streets 
With utter Villainy ; 
So with false Harmony 
Would jangle Music's sweets 
Your wicked Frauds and Cheats. 

Enter not here, Attorneys gorging Fees, 
Scribes, Lawyers' Clerks, 6 the People that devour, 

1 CC "Obstipo capite et figentes 
famine terram " (Pers. iiL 80). 

9 Goth and Magoth, with reference to 
Gog and Magog. Ronsard has the lines : 
Je n'aaxne point oet mots qui soot finis en ott % 
Goo, Cagots, Austieggts, Visgots et Huguenots. 

8 Fr. Cagots. Da Cange derives this 
word from canes Gothic the Goths having 
been driven into the Pyrenees, and being 
looked upon as the off-scouring of the 

4 Fr. Caphards. According to Du 
Cange, from cappa, caphardum, a sort of 
hood ; hence hypocrites. 

5 Fr. Basauchiens. La Basoche was 
the old Guild (founded in 1302) of the 
writers in the Palais de Justice in Paris. 
They are mentioned again in iiL 21 and iv. 
32, but there as the producers of feeble 
Morality-plays. They were a kind of 
Juristic Sorbonne. They had a King, a 
Chancellor, a Master of Requests, and 
Ushers. They held meetings on Wednes- 
day and Saturday in the great Hall of the 
Parliament After the death of Francis 
I., at the insurrection of Guienne the King 
of La Basoche supplied the King of 
France with a contingent of 6000 of his 





Ye Office-holders, Scribes and Pharisees, 
Old Judges, who like very Curs to seize, 
Bring the good Citizens to their last Hour. 
The Gallows on the Fees you earn do lower : 
Thither go bray : here be no spendthrift Fruits, 
For which in your Courts men stir up Lawsuits. 

Lawsuits and wordy Strife 

Have here but little Life 

For men to spend their Time. 

Y ox you to growl and whine, 

I pray may e'er be rife 

Lawsuits and wordy Strife. 

Enter not here, close-fisted Usurers, 
Lickerish Renders, who add Pile to Pile, 
Griping Graymalkins, greedy Pettifoggers, 
Snub-nosed and bent, who fill your iron Lockers 
With Thousand-marks, 8 insatiate the while. 
You ne'er are cloyed, when ye pack Lucre vile 
And heap it high, Poltroons of Visage base ; 
May cruel Death for this your Face deface ! 

Deface Face not of Man 

Of folk, from here to ban 

To bray elsewhere ; for it 

In here would not be fit. 

Void this our free Domain, 

Deface Face not of Man. 

Enter not here, ye doting Mastiff curs, 
Evening nor Morning, churlish jealous Drones ; 
Nor you again, seditious Mutineers, 
Spirits, Hobgoblins, " Danger's " 7 Servitors, 
Or Greeks or Latins, harsher than Wolves' Tones : 
No ! Mangy Knaves, infected to the Bones, 

subjects. Their arms were three gold 
inkstands on an azure field, and the 
legend Sigillum magnum regum Baso- 
chiae. They were the first comic actors 
and authors in Paris, introducing Farces, 
Soties, et Moralitis as a relief from the 
Mystery and Passion-plays of the monks. 
Several orders were directed against them 
by Parliament from 1476 to 1582 to curb 

their mischievous spirit. They 
heard of as late as 1789. 

6 In the 34th sermon of Dormi secure 
(i. 14 jf».) is the passage : " Multi petunt 
pro mille mareis." 

7 Dangier, in the poets of the 15th 
century, especially Charles d'Orleans, is 
the person who is in the way of lovers, 
generally the husband or father. 

chap, liv GARGANTUA 183 

Avaunt ! elsewhere your eating Sores defer, 
All tetter-barked 8 and full of Dishonour. 

But Honour, Praise, Delight 

With us are ever plight 

In joyous Tunes around. 

In Body all are sound ; 

This Blessing fills them quite 

With Honour, Praise, Delight 

Here enter in, and welcome be ye here, 9 

And coming dwell, all noble Cavaliers, 

Here is the Place where Incomes through the Year 

Do come in largely, so that we make Cheer 

To great and small by thousands, Fortune's Heirs. 

You shall be my familiar loving Peers, 

Merry and sprightly, dainty of Speech and Pen, 

And in a Word, all worthy Gentlemen. 

All worthy Gentlemen, 

Sober in Wit and keen, 

Without Vulgarity, 

Filled with all Courtesy. 

Here shall your Hosts 10 be seen, 

All worthy Gentlemen. 

Here enter, who the Holy Gospel's Dower 
With nimble Wit expound, though Mocks abound ; 
Here shall you find a Refuge and a Tower 
'Gainst Foemen's Error, who with Gloss's u Power 
And their false Style would poison all around : 
Come in, that here we found our Faith profound, 
And then confound by Speech and Writing stirr'd 
The Enemies of our Holy Word. 

Our Holy Writ and Word 

Shall evermore be heard 

Here holily averr'd ; 

8 Fr. cnmsteUvis ; v. 5. u Fr. PostiHe=& gloss, from post ilia 

• *mp^e*o,naffid««Utorhoc«.ta T** " ^^ % ° ***??!* " t *"^ 

tion ; ox pasta, a page (Da Cange). The 

M Fr. HousHls. Cf. Du Cange, s.v. epitaph on Nicolas de Lyra contains the 

Basfis, Jhstilitas, etc. (= Hospitality). words Hicjaeet qui Biblia fostillavit. 


Each Knight it on shall gird, 
Each Lady with it stirr'd, 
Our Holy Writ and Word. 

Here enter in, Ladies of high Degree, 
Here frank and fearless. Enter in all blest, 
Flowers of Beauty, Faces heavenly, 
With Bearing upright, wise, discreet to see ; 
In this Abode is Honour's Guard and Rest. 
The lordly Lord, who did this Place award, 
And shall reward, for you hath made this Haven, 
And for its Maintenance much Gold hath given. 

Gold given by free Gift 

Obtains a full free Shrift 

For him that it awards ; 

And shall with rich Rewards 

All honest men uplift, 

Gold given by free Gift. 12 

u This poem was written by Rabelais torturing words into the most perplexed 
(if he did write and not borrow it) to rhymes. Jean Molinet may well have 
gibe at the fashion so much in vogue of been his butt 



How the Habitation of the Theletnites was ordered 

In the midst of the Base Court was a magnificent Fountain of fine 
Alabaster ; on the Top thereof were thf thrfr frflim with Horns of 
Abundance, and they did spout Water from their Breasts, Mouth, Ears, 
Eyes and other open Passages of their Body. 

The Inside of the Building over the said Base Court stood upon 
great Pillars of 'Chalcedony and Porphyry with goodly Arches of 
ancient Fashion, within which were fine, long and spacious Galleries, 
adorned with Paintings and Horns of Stags, Unicorns, Rhinoceroses, 
Hippopotami, Elephants' Teeth, and other things worth seeing. 

The Lodging of the Ladies took up the Part from the Arctic Tower 
to the Mesembrine Gate ; the Men occupied the rest Before the said 
Ladies' Lodgings, to the end that they might have their Recreation, 
withoutside between the two first Towers were the Tilt-yard, the 
Hippodrome, the Theatre and Swimming-baths, with admirable Baths 
in three Stages, 1 well furnished with all Accommodations and abundance 
of Myrrh-water. 

By the side of the River was the fair Pleasure-garden ; in the midst 
of it the pretty Labyrinth. Between the two other Towers were the 
Courts for Tennis and Ballon. On the side of the Cryerine Tower was 
the Orchard, full of all manner of Fruit-trees, all arranged in quincuncial * 
Order. At the end was the great Park, abounding in all kinds of Wild 

Between the third Pair of Towers were the Butts for the Arquebus, 
the Bow and the Cross-bow. The Offices were outside the Hesperian 

1 i.e. hot, warm, and cold baths over » » » * * 

each other. * * * * 

1 quincuncial, that is, like the Roman ♦ * * * * 

Quincunx, thus : 


Tower one Story high ; the Stables beyond the Offices, and in front of 
them the Falconry, managed by Falconers very expert in the Art And 
it was yearly furnished by Candians, Venetians and Sarmatians with 
all sorts of model Birds, Eagles, Gerfalcons, Goss- hawks, Sacres, 
Laniers, Falcons, Sparrow-hawks, Merlins and others, so well manned 
and tamed, that flying of themselves from the Castle, to disport them- 
selves in the Plains, they would take whatever they encountered. The 
Kennels were a little farther off, going towards the Park. 

All the Halls, Chambers and Closets were hung with Tapestry in 
divers sorts, according to the Season of the Year. All the Pavement 
was covered with green Cloth. The Beds were all embroidered. In 
each Withdrawing-room was a Mirror of Crystal set in a Frame of fine 
Gold and garnished all round with Pearls, and it was of a Size such that 
it could truly and fully represent the whole Figure. 

At the Going out of the Halls of the Ladies' Lodgings were the 
Perfumers and Trimmers, through whose Hands the Men passed when 
they went to visit the Ladies. These also furnished every Morning the 
Chambers of the Ladies with Rose-water, Orange- flower- water, and 
Angel-water, 8 and gave to each a precious Casket that breathed forth 
all manner of aromatic Scents. 

* Eau (PAnge was a scent composed of the violet-scented root of the Florentine 
Iris, rose-wood, sandal-wood, etc. 


How the Brethren and Sisters of Thelema were apparelled 

The Ladies at the first Foundation of the Order dressed themselves 
according to their Pleasure and Judgment. Afterwards of their own 
free Will they reformed themselves in the Fashion which here followeth : 

They wore Stockings of Scarlet or Purple, 1 and they drew on the 
said Stockings above the Knee exactly three Fingers-breadth, and the 
List was ornamented with fine Embroidery and Incision. 

The Garters were of the Colour of their Bracelets, and took in the 
Knees above and below. 

Their Shoes, Pumps and Slippers were of crimson, red or violet 
Velvet, pinked and jagged like Lobsters' Beards. 

Over their Smock they put on a pretty Kirtle of some fair silk 
Camblet Above this they did on their Vardingale of Taffeta, white, 
red, tawny, grey, etc. Over this the Petticoat of silver Taffeta 
made with Embroideries of fine Gold intertissued with Needle-work, 
or according as they thought good, and corresponding to the Tempera- 
ture of the Weather, of Satin, Damask or Velvet; orange, tawny, 
green, ash-coloured, blue, bright yellow, red, crimson, white, Cloth of 
Gold, Cloth of Silver, and of Purl 8 embroidered according to the 

Their Gowns, according to the Season, were of Cloth of Gold with 
silver Fringe, of red Satin trimmed with gold Purl, of white, blue, 
black, dun Taffeta, silken Serge, silk Camblet, Velvet, Cloth of Silver, 
Gold Tissue, Velvet or Satin purfled with Gold in divers Imagery. 

In Summer, some days instead of Gowns they wore fair flowing 

1 migraine =*demi-graine\ scarlet being the dye to be alkermes, and to be from 

produced by cochineal, migraine by a the juice of the yeuse{l\s\. clce, Lat ilex, 

smaller infusion of it M. d'Hericault in holm-oak), 
his edition of Coquillart (i. p. 78) makes * canetille. Qi. i. 8. 


Robes 8 of the aforesaid Bravery, or Moorish Bernouse * of violet Velvet 
with gold Fringe on silver Purl, or with gold Cords studded at the 
Crossings with little Indian Pearls. And they always carried a fair 
Panache, of the Colour of their Cuffs, well tricked out with Spangles of 

In Winter, their Gowns were of Taffeta, of Colours as above- 
named, trimmed with the Fur of spotted Lynxes, black Weasels, Calabrian 
Martens, Sables, and other costly Furs. 

Their Beads, Rings, Neck-chains, Carcanets were of precious Stones, 
Carbuncles, Rubies, Balai-rubies, Diamonds, Sapphires, Emeralds, 
Turquoises, Garnets, Agates, Beryls, Pearls and magnificent Margarites. 6 

Their Head-dresses were according to the Season ; in Winter of the 
French fashion, in Spring of the Spanish, in Summer of the Tuscan, 
excepting on the Holy days and Sundays, on which Days they wore the 
French Head-dress, because it is more honourable and better befitting 
matronly Modesty. 

The Men were apparelled after their Fashion : 

Stockings for their nether Limbs, of Tamine, 6 or of cloth Serge 
scarlet, purple, white or black ; 

Their trunk Hose, of Velvet of the same Colour, or very near ap- 
proaching thereto, embroidered and jagged according to their Fancy. 

Their Doublet, of Cloth of Gold or Silver, of Velvet, Satin, Damask, 
or Taffeta, of the same Colours, cut, embroidered and trimmed to 

The Points, of Silk of the same Colours ; the Tags were of Gold 
well enamelled. 

Their Mantles r and Cloaks 8 were of Cloth of Gold or Silver Tissue, 
Cloth of Silver or Velvet, purfled as they thought fit 

Their Gowns, as costly as those of the Ladies. 

Their Girdles, of Silk, of the Colours of the Doublet 

Each one had a gallant Sword by his side with the Handle gilt, the 
Scabbard of Velvet of the Colour of his Hose, the Tip of Gold and 
Goldsmith's Work ; the Dagger was of the same. 

Their Cap was of black Velvet, adorned with many Jewels and 
Buttons of Gold; the white Plume above it was daintily parted by 

* marlottes (marlota), a sort of Spanish 6 Fr. estamct (cloth -rash, Cotg.), a 
cloak worn at Beam (Du Cange). coarse sort of canvas. 

4 berrus, a sort of cloak with a hood, 7 Fr. sayes, from Lat sqgum, a military 

called in Leo Africanus, Book ii., Ilbcmus cloak fastened round the neck by a 

= Spanish Albonot. clasp. 

• unions, Lat. unto = pearl of im- 8 Fr. cAamarre, a long loose thin flow* 
mense size (Martial, viii. 8x, 4). ing garment 




Rows of gold Spangles, at the End of which hung in Sparkles fair 
Rubies, Emeralds, etc 

But such was the Sympathy between the Men and the Women, that 
each Day they were arrayed in like Apparel ; and that they should not 
fail in this, there were certain Gentlemen appointed to tell the Men 
each Morning what Livery the Ladies wished to wear on that Day, for 
all was done according to the Decision of the Ladies. 

In these Clothes so fitting, and Habiliments so rich, do not suppose 
that either one or the other lost any Time whatever ; for the Masters of 
the Wardrobes had all the Vestments so ready every Morning, and the 
Ladies of the Bedchamber were so well skilled, that in a Trice they were 
ready and dressed from Head to Foot. 

And that they might have these Accoutrements with the better 
Conveniency, around the Wood of Thelema was a great Block of 
Houses half a League long, very neat and well arranged ; wherein dwelt 
Goldsmiths, Lapidaries, Embroiderers, Gold-drawers, Velvet-weavers, 
Tapestry-makers, Upholders, and wrought there, each one at his own 
Trade, and all for the aforesaid Brethren and Sisters. 

They were furnished with Matter and Stuff from the Hands of the 
Lord Nausiclete, 9 who every Year brought to them seven Ships from 
the Perlas and Cannibal Islands, 10 laden with gold Ingots, raw Silk, 
Pearls and precious Stones. 

If any fine Pearls began to grow old and changed their native 
Whiteness, these by their Art they did renew, by giving them to be 
eaten to some fine Cocks, 11 as men use to give Castings to Hawks. 

• NawfrXccrof or NawurXirroj, the title 
of the Phaeacians in the Odyssey. 

10 Perlas. The Pearl Islands, five or 
six in number, lie at the entrance of the 
Gulf of Panama. The Cannibal or 
Caribbee Islands are the Antilles. 

u Cocks. I can find nothing in Aelian, 
Pliny, Theophrastus, etc, to support the 
idea that this remedy was ever adopted ; 
I cannot help thinking that it is a sly and 
very oblique allusion to the fable where 

the cock finds a pearl on a dunghill. 
The lines run thus in Phaedrus (iii. 
12, 4) : 

Hoc si quia pretii cupidus vidisset tui 
OUm reduces ad splendorem pristinum. 

Castings are little pellets of cotton, etc., 
given to hawks to purge their phlegm, or 
the pellets of feathers, etc., which they 
throw up. This, I think, makes for my 


Haw the Thelemites were governed in their Manner of Living 

x their Life was laid out, not by Laws, Statutes, o r ^nl^ r hut agrnrH- 
ing to their ^|ill MLfl ff55 PAga^Ufd. Ihey rose trom their Bed when it 
seemed good to them, they drank, ate, worked, slept, when the Desire 
came upon them. None did awake them, none did constrain them 
either to drink or to eat, or to do anything else whatsoever ; for so had 
Gargantua established it 

In their Rule there was but this Clause : 


because that Men who are free, w fi ll i bflFn, w dibit*! , conversant in 
honest Company, have by nature an Instinct and Spur, which always 
p rompteth them to virtuous Actions and withdraw eth them frnr^ y ^P ' 
and this they style Honour. These same taen, when by vile Sub- 
jection and Constraint they are brought down and enslaved, do turn 
aside the noble Affection by which they freely were inclined unto Virtue, 
in order to lay aside and shakejaff- this Y o ke of -Slavery ; for we do 
always strive after Things forbidden and covet that which is denied 
unto us. 1 

By means of this Liberty they entered into a laudable Emulation 
to do all of them what they saw did please one. If any one of the 
Men or Ladies said " Let us drink," they all drank. If any said " Let 
us play," they all played. If one said " Let us go disport ourselves in 
the Fields," they all went thither. 

If it were to go a-hawking or hunting, the Ladies mounted on fine 
Mares, with their prancing 2 Palfrey, each carried on her Fist, daintily 

1 Nitimur in vetitum semper cupimusque negate. 

Ovid, Am. ixL 4, 17. 

* Fr. guorrur, from Gk. yavpos. 




begloved, either a Sparrow-hawk or a Lanneret or a Merlin. The Men 
carried the other kinds of Hawks. 

So nobly were thev taught that there wa «j rip**"**- tta n pr fi^ A 
amnnpst foem huj could read, wTite, . smfij, play on musical Ins 

speak five or six Languages, and compose the rein in Verse as well as 
in Prose. ^^ ' 

Never were seen Knights so worthy, so valiant, so dextrous both 
on Foot and on Horseback, more vigorous, more' nimble, better at 
handling all kinds of Weapons, as were there. 

Never were seen Ladies so handsome, 4 so dainty, less froward, 
better taught with their Hands, with their Needle, in every womanly 
Action that is honest and gentle, as were there. 

For this Reason, when the Time was come that any Man wished to 
go forth from the said Abbey, either at the Request of his Parents or 
for some other cause, he carried with him one of the Ladies, her who 
should have taken him for her faithful Servant, and they were married 
together. And if they had formerly lived in Thelema in Devotion and 
Friendship, still more did they so continue in Wedlock; insomuch 
that they loved one another to the End of their days as on the first Day 
of their Marriage. 

I would not forget to write down for you a Riddle which was found 
on digging the Foundation of the Abbey, engraved on a great Plate of 

It was thus, as followeth : 


. oraison so/u€=LaL carmen 
and oratio soluia. More usually dis- 
tinguished as versa and proversa {prorsa, 
prosa) oratio. 

* Fr. propres. C£ Heb. xi. 23 : "Be- 
cause they saw he (Moses) was a proper 



A Prophecy in Riddles 1 

Poor Mortals, who good Fortune do desire, 

Lift up your Hearts and to my Words give ear. 

If it be granted firmly to believe 

That by the Bodies in the Firmament 

The Human Spirit can itself attain 

To say before the Things that are to come, 

Or if we can by Help of Power Divine 

Obtain the Knowledge of our future Lot, 

So as to judge in well-assured Discourse 

Of Years remote the Destiny and Course, 

I do to wit to whoso will attend 

That this next Winter, without more delay — 

Nay, sooner — in the Place where now we are, 

There will go forth a certain Sort of Men, 

Wearied of Rest and chafing under Ease, 

Proceed unchecked, in open Light of Day, 

Suborning Men of all Conditions 

To Difference and Factions, Party-strife ; 

And whoso will believe them and give Ear, 

Whatever be the Cost and Consequence, 

They will bring open and apparent Strife — 

Friends and near Kinsmen 'gainst their Friends and Kin. 

1 This poem, with the exception of the *~*™^ t r~*- '!■■ [imr^Tnf describing 

first two and the last ten lines, is borrowed a gam e of tennis, and the more certainly 

by Rabelais from his friend Melin de wJgecause of "the great pains both Rabe- 

Saint-Gelais. It seems almost certainly *4aj£_and Saint-Gelais take to show that 

intended to exclaim against th e perse pi- tin jjlu iji.iu lIiinintliiwrTT'i to tennis. Cf. 

of the lWibUuito at l!lM link pro- Saint-Gelais, voL ii. p. 202 (ecL Elrev.) 

chap, lviii GARGANTUA 193 

The forward Son will hazard the Reproach 
To range himself against his proper Sire ; 
Even the Great ones, come of noble Line, 
By their own Vassals see themselves assailed, 
And Honour's Due, Respect and Reverence 
Shall thenceforth lose all Order and Degree. 
For men shall say that each one in his Turn 
Should go above and then return below. 
And on this Point shall be so many Broils 
So many Discords, Comings, Goings-forth, 
That History, wherein are Marvels told, 
Hath no Record of like Disturbances. 
Then shall be seen a many Man of Worth, 
Sent forward by the Spur of Youth's hot Blood 
And too great Credence in this strong Desire, 
Dead in Life's Flower or brought to low Degree. 
And none shall ever lay aside the Task, 
If once he shew his Mettle in the Fray, 
Till he have filled, by Quarrels and Debates, 
The Heavens with Noise, the Earth with pacing Steps. 
Men without Faith, that time shall wield no less 
Authority than Truth's own Champions ; 
For all shall follow the Desire and Creed 
Of the ignorant and foolish Multitude, 
Of whom the basest shall be held as Judge. 
Oh, Deluge baneful and most damnable ! 
Deluge, I say, and say it rightly too ; 
For this same Travail shall be for all Time ; % 
Nor shall the Earth be ever freed from it, 
Until there issue, spreading widely forth, 
Outbursting Waters ; whereby Combatants, 
E'en the most moderate, shall be caught and drenched ; 
And with good Right, for that their stubborn Heart, 
Addicted to this Combat, shall not spare 
Even the Flocks of the most innocent Beasts, 
But of their Sinews and uncleanly Entrails 
They make a sacrifice — not unto the Gods, 
But to the common Service of Mankind 
So now I leave to your Reflexion, 
How duly can the Universe be ordered, 
And what Repose in Turmoil so profound 
vol. 1 o 


The Body of the round Machine shall find. 

The happiest those who most shall hold to it, 

And most abstain from Loss or Spoil thereof, 

Who most endeavour, every way they can, 

To hold it safe and make it Prisoner, 

In such a Place that the poor lost Ball 

From Him alone who made her shall find Help. 

And what is worst in this sad Accident^ 

The clear bright Sun, before he sinks i' the West, 

Shall let thick Darkness spread all over her, 

Beyond Eclipse's Gloom or natural Night : 

Whence at one Stroke shell lose her Liberty 

And all the Favour and Brightness of high Heaven, 

Or, at the least, in Desolation bide. 

But she, before this Ruin and this Loss, 
Shall long have shewn to outward Senses clear 
A Quaking vaster and more violent 
Than Etna * erst was so much shaken withal, 
When on a Son of Titan she was hurled : 
And not more sudden may we think was caused 
The Movement that Inarime 3 gave Birth, 
Whenas Typhoeus, horribly enraged, 
Sent Rocks and Mountains hurtling in the Sea. 

Thus in a little Time shall be appeased 
This sad Condition, and so often changed, 
That even those who shall have held it so 
Shall leave it, that New-comers take their Place. 
Then shall the Days be fair and prosperous 
To put an End to this long Exercise 
For the deep Waters, whereof ye hear speak, 
Shall cause that each bethink him to retire. 
And ever, ere the Separation come, 
There shall be clear appearing in the Air 
The Heat absorbing of a mighty Flame 

1 Etna. CL Aesch. Prom. Vinci. . . T . . ^^T"^ 6 

Inanme J cms imperils lmposta Typhoeo. 

3S 1 '3^ Virg. A**, ix. 716. 

« Inarimeon Typhoeus. C£ Horn. H. Conditur Inarimes acton* mole Typhoeus. 

U* 7«»3 : Luc. v. zoi. 

ifr 'AttpHtHifm'lTt+mHlwM,* ti& The geographical name of Inarime was 

Pithecusa, in the Tyrrhenian Sea off 
811 Comae, now called Ischia. 

chap, lviii GARGANTUA 195 

To bring to an End the Waters and the Emprize. 

And when these Things are fully finished, 
'Tis seen the Elect are joyously refreshed 
With heavenly Manna and all Kinds of Joys, 
And furthermore, in honest Recompense 
Are full endowed. The others at the End 
Are stripped of all. And this the Reason is, 
That when the Toils are ended at this Point, 
Each one may gain his Lot predestinate. 
Such was the Bargain. O how blessed is he 
Whoso shall persevere unto the End ! 

The Reading of this Monument finished, Gargantua sighed deeply 
and said to the Company : 

" It is not then at this Time only that people who are called to the 
Faith of the Gospel are persecuted ; but happy is he who shall not be 
offended, and who shall always aim at the Mark, at the White, which 
God, by His dear Son, hath set up before us, without being distracted or 
turned aside by his carnal Affections." 

The Monk said : "What think you in your Understanding is meant 
and signified by this Riddle ? " 

"How?" said Gargantua. "The Continuance and Upholding of 
Divine Truth." 

" By Saint Goderan," 4 said the Monk, " that is not my Explanation ; 
the Style is that of Merlin the Prophet 5 Put upon it all the Allegories 
and grave Expositions that you will, and dote about it, you and the Rest 
of the World, as much as you like. 

" For my Part, I believe there is no other Meaning enveloped in it 
than a Description of a Game at Tennis hidden under obscure Words. 

"The Suborners of Men are the Makers of Matches, who are commonly 
Friends, and after the two Chases are made, he that was in the Service- 
end of the Court goeth out and the other cometh in. They believe the 
first who saith whether the Ball was above or below the Line. The 

4 St. Goderan is most probably a Merlin) Saint-Gelais to Merlin, the prophet 

Goderan, Bishop of Saintes and Abbe* of of the Arthurian cycle, who is also a 

Maillezais (here canonised by Rabelais), considerable figure in the Chronicqtu 

whose tomb has been discovered by M. Gargantuine. Saint-Gelais (1487-1558) 

Poey d'Avant, proprietor of the ruins of was a natural son of the Bishop Octavian 

Maillezais. M. Poey d'Avant communi- Saint-Gelais, Abbot of Reclus, almoner 

cated this to M. des Marets. and librarian of Francis I. and Henry II. 

' Merlin the ProphtL This is a gro- He was a lyric poet of great merit, con- 

tesque reference of the poem of Melin (or testing the palm with Clement Marot 


Waters are the Sweat The Strings of the Racquets are made of the 
Guts of Sheep or of Goats. The round Machine is the Pellet or Tennis- 
ball. After the Game they refresh themselves before a clear Fire and 
change their Shirts ; and with Goodwill they banquet, but more merrily 
those who have gained And good Cheer withaL" 














ayady t&xu 








If, for combining Profit with Delight, 2 

An Author cometh greatly in Renown, 
Renown'd art thou, of that be certain quite ; 

I know it well, for in this Booklet shewn, 

Thy Understanding with its merry Tone 
So well hath traced what useful is to us, 
Methinks I see a new Democritus 

Flouting all Actions in the Life of Men. 
Proceed ; and if not meritorious 

Deem'd here below, thou shalt be in Heaven's Domain. 


1 Hugh Salel of Casals in Quercy, He translated the first twelve Books of 

Abbe* of Cheron (1504-1553). He was a the Iliad (Paris 1539). (M.) 
compatriot and friend of Clement Marot, 3 0mne tulit p^c^m qn i miacuit utile duld. 
and also valet de chambre to Francis I. Hot. A.P. 343. 



Most illustrious and most valorous Champions, Gentlemen and others, 
who willingly devote yourselves to all gentle and honest Pursuits, you 
have not long ago seen, read and known the Great and inestimable 
Chronicles of the enormous Giant Gargantua^ and like true Believers, 
have believed them nobly, 1 and have therein often passed your Time 
with the honourable Ladies and Gentlewomen, making to them fair 
long Stories therefrom, when you were out of other Talk ; forwhich you 
are worthy of great Praise and sempiternal Memory. 

And I do heartily wish that every Man would lay aside his own 
Business, trouble himself no more with his Trade, and give to Forget- 
fulness his own Affairs, to attend to this wholly, without his Mind being 
distracted or hindered from elsewhere, until that he knoweth them by 
Heart ; to the end that if by chance the Art of Printing should cease, or 
in case all Books should perish, in Time to come every one might teach 
them throughly to his Children and hand them down to his Successors 
and Survivors as from Hand to Hand, just as a religious Cabala ; 2 for 
there is more Profit in them than perchance is thought by a Rabble of 
lubberly Swaggerers 8 all over Botches, who understand much less in 
these little Merriments than Raclet 4 does in the Institutes. 

I have known high and puissant Lords in goodly number, who 
going a-hunting great Game or hawking wild Ducks, if it happened that 

1 nobly, Fr. galanUmtnt. In ABC " Monastic Cabala in the matter of salt 

the reading is tout ainsi que texte de bee£" 

Bible oh de sainct Evangile. * Fr. taluassiers, from talavacius or 

1 Cabala. A mystical and allegorical tavolacius, a rough kind of wooden shield 

interpretation of the Old Testament (Du Cange). 

among the Jews, not written but handed * RacUt. Probably Raimbert Raclet 

down from father to son. Rabelais has (Renobertus Racletus), Professor of Laws 

a gibe at it in iii 15, the chapter on the at D61e (Duchat). 


the Game was not found by his Tracks, 6 or that the Hawk took to 
hovering, on seeing the Prey gain upon her by strength of Flight, they 
have been rarely vexed, as you do well enough understand ; but their 
Refuge of Comfort, and Means to avoid a Chill was to go over again 
the inestimable Deeds of the said Gargantua. 

Others there be in the World — these are no flimflam Stories — who 
being greatly afflicted with Toothache, after having expended all their 
Substance on Doctors without profiting in any way, have found no 
readier Remedy than to put the said Chronicles between two fine Linen- 
cloths very hot, and apply them to the Place in Pain, sinapising them 
with a little doribn$ n Powder. 

Buf what shall I say of the poor pocky and gouty Patients ? O how 
many times have we seen them — at the time they were well anointed 
and thoroughly greased, with their Face shining like the Key-plate of a 
• iii. 33>ff«. * Meat-safe, and their Teeth rattling like the Notes on a Manual of an 
Organ or a Spinet, when they are played upon, and their Throats 
foaming like a Boar's, which the Hounds 8 have driven to bay in the 
Toils — What did they then ? All their Consolation was to listen to the 
reading of some Pages of the said Book. And we have seen some of 
them wfeo would have given themselves to a hundred Puncheons of old 
Devils, in case they had not felt a manifest Alleviation of Pain at the 
Reading of the said Book, when they were held in Limbo, neither more 
nor less than Women in the Pangs of Child-birth, when they have read 
* cr. 1 6, n. a. t o them the Life of b St Margaret 

Is that nothing? Find me a Book, in any Language, in any Faculty 
or Science whatever, that hath such Virtues, Properties and Prerogatives, 
and I will pay a Noggin of Tripes. No, my Masters, no. It is peerless, 
incomparable and without Paragon. I will maintain that, as far as the 
Fire exclusive ; ° and those who would maintain the contrary Opinion, let 
them be accounted Deceivers, Predestinators, 10 Impostors and Seducers. 

5 Fr. brutes, properly twigs torn off * vaultres, Lat vertagus. 

by the hunters and thrown down so as to 9 M«X/>i r <>0 flu/iov <f>l\os clfil, in 

detect the tracks of stags, etc. Hence the sense of not committing perjury for a 

used for the tracks themselves. friend. Plutarch, De vitioso pudore, c 6. 

6 Des Marets finds in this an undeni- Bacon, Adv. of Learn, vii. 2, uses usque 
able proof that Gargantua was published ad aras in the same way. Rabelais 
before the Pantagruel of Claude Nourry. means that he does not intend to be 
He will not allow this to be an allusion burnt at the stake for that or any other 
to the ChronUques Gargantuines. tenet Cf. iii. 3, 7 and iv. ProL 

f doribus. This occurs in i. 22, d la Anc 
barbe doribus \ ii. 22, natre mattre Doribus, 10 Predestinators appears for the first 

intending an insulting remark for Matthieu time in the edition of 1542. This is 

Ory, an Inquisitor. The same powder is almost certainly aimed at Calvin. Cf. 

called diamerdis in ii 30. iv. 32 Jin. 




Very true it is that there are found in some noble Books of high 
Growth certain hidden Properties, in the number of which Books are 
held Fesse-pinte, 11 Orlando Furioso, Robert the Devil, Fierabras, William 
the Fearless, Huon of Bordeaux, Monteville, and Matabrune ; but they 
are not comparable to that of which we speak, and the World hath well 
known by infallible Experience the great Emolument and Utility which 
came from the said Gargantuine Chronicle ; for there have been more 
of them sold by the Printers in two Months than will be bought of 
Bibles in nine Years. 

I therefore, your humble Slave, wishing still more to increase your 
Recreations, offer you at this time another Book of the same Stamp,* 
except that it is a little more reasonable and worthy of Credit than the 
other was ; for do not think (unless you wilfully err against your Know- 
ledge) that I speak of it as the Jews do of the Law. 18 

I was not born under such a Planet, neither did it ever befall me to 
lie or maintain a Thing which was not true — I do not speak thereof 
like a lusty Onocrotarie 18 — no, I mean Crotenotary — of martyrised Lovers 
and Crocquenotary of Love. 14 c Quod vidimus testamur. It is of the « joh. Hi. ». 
horrible Feats and Prowesses of Pantagruel, whom I have served for 
Wages since I was out of my Page-hood till this present Time, when by 
his Leave I have come to visit my Cow-country 16 and to know if any 
of my Kindred be there alive. 

Wherefore to make an end of this Prologue, even as I give myself to 
a hundred thousand Panniers full of fine Devils, Body and Soul, Tripe 
and Bowels, in case I lie so much as a single Word in the whole History, 
just so in like manner may St. Antony's Fire burn you, Epilepsy turn 
you, Quinsy and Murrain tease you, and Dysentery seize you, 

May the burning teasing Stitch, 
Finer than the cowhair Itch, 
Aided by Quicksilver's Pain, 
Enter in your Soul amain, 

and like Sodom and Gomorrah may you fall into Sulphur, into Fire and 
into the Bottomless Pit, in case you do not firmly believe all that I shall 
relate to you in this present Chronicle. 

n Fesse-pinte is mentioned in the Pro- 
logue to the First Book. The others are 
well-known romances of chivalry. 

u i.e. as of something they know 
nothing about. 

u Onocrotaru. Punning on Onocro- 
talus, the Greek for a pelican. Rabelais 
repeats the pun in v. 8, 30. 

M Instead of this passage the earliest 
editions read : " Agentes et consentientes, 
c'est-a-dire qui n'a conscience n'a ricn ; je 
parle comme saint Jean de 1' Apocalypse." 
In iv. 16 Friar John says: "Vous en 
parlez comme saint Jean de la Palisse." 

10 Cow-country, i.e. one's native land. 
Cf. iv. 18, le planehier des vetches. 




Dizains five hundred, Virelais 

A thousand — Tricks the Rhymes to tease — 

The quaintest and the gentlest these 

Of Marot, or of Saint-Gelais, 

Paid down at once, without Delay, 

In presence of th' Oreades, 

The Hymnides a and Dryades, 

Were not enough ; nor Pontalais 8 

With Bales of Ballads made to please, 

For gentle learned Rabelais. 

1 The writer of this dizain is unknown. * Pontalais was a humorous poet and 

1 Hymnides occurs also in Bouchet's actor under Louis XII. and Francis I. 

letter to Rabelais. Limnides (nymphs His forte was Farces, Mysteries and 

of the lakes) has been suggested. Moralities. Cf. L 20, n. 3. 



Of the origin and antiquity of Pantagruel, descended from the Giants, 
chap. i. Of his nativity, the death of his Mother, his childhood, feats 
in his youth, his encounter with the Limousin, ii-vi The library of St 
Victor, viL Gargantua's letter, viil PantagruePs meeting with Panurge, 
ix. Pantagruel hears and decides a great controversy, x-xiii. Panurge's 
account of his escape from the Turks, xiv. His method of building 
the walls of Paris, xv. His description and character, xvi. His gaining 
of Pardons and other tricks, xvii. The contest between Pantagruel and 
Panurge against the Englishman who argued by signs, xviii-xx. Panurge 
and the lady of Paris, xxL xxii Pantagruel is recalled home by an 
invasion of enemies, xxiii. Journey from Paris and adventures on the 
way, xxiv. Capture of game and of Giants, xxv-xxvii Battle with 
the Giants, xxviii. xxix. Epistemon's return to life, xxx, PantagruePs 
punishment of the conquered king, xxxl Babelais' journey inside 
Pantagruel, xxxii PantagruePs sickness and recovery, xxxiii. Epilogue, 


Of the Origin and Antiquity of the great Pantagruel 

It will be a Matter not unprofitable or idle, seeing we are at leisure, to 
put you in mind of the Fountain-head and Origin from which was born 
to us the good Pantagruel ; for I see that all good Historiographers have 
thus handled their Chronicles, not only the Arabians, Barbarians and 
Latins, but the gentle Greeks, who were everlasting Drinkers. 1 

It is fitting then for you to note that at the Beginning of the World 
(I am speaking of a distant Date, more than forty Quarantaines of Nights 
ago, to count in the fashion of the ancient Druids*), a little after Abel » Caesar, b.g. 
was killed by his Brother Cain, the Earth, imbrued with the Blood of 
the Righteous, was one Year 

So mighty fertile in all Fruit, 

That from her Loins for us do shoot, 

and particularly in Medlars, that in all recorded Time it has been called 
the Year of great Medlars, for three of them made up a BusheL 

In this Year the Calends were found by the Greek Breviaries. 3 The 
month of March did not fall at all in Lent, 8 and mid-August fell 
in May. In the month of October, I believe, or perhaps September 
— not to fall into Error, for from that I wish carefully to guard 
myself — was the Week so famous in the Annals, called "the Week 
of the three Thursdays," for it had three of them, on account of 
the irregular Bissextile 4 caused by the Sun, who swerved a little, like 

1 The original reading was : " Not * Another form of citing the Greek 

only the Greeks, the Arabs and the Gen- calends. C£ L 20, n. 12. 

tiles, but also the Authors of the Holy 8 Cf. Je n'y fauldray — si Mars ne 

Writ, for instance, Monseigneur Saint failhii en-Caresme, iii Prol. 

Lake and Saint Matthew." From grae- 4 Bissextile. So called because in leap 

cari y pergraecari = to revel, we get the year the sexta ante Calendas Martias was 

phrase as merry as a grig. reckoned twice to give February 29 days. 



debitoribiis* to the Left, and the Moon varied from her Course more 
than five Fathoms, and there was manifestly seen the Movement of 
Trepidation* in the Firmament called Aplancs, so that the middle Pleiad 
leaving her Companions declined towards the Equinoctial, and the Star 
named Spica left the Virgin, withdrawing itself towards the Balance ; 
which are Cases very terrible, and Matters so hard and difficult that 
the Astrologers cannot get their Teeth into them ; besides, their Teeth 
would have been pretty long if they had been able to reach so fax. 

Put it down then in your Account that the World willingly ate the 
said Medlars, for they were pleasant to the Eye and delicious to the 
Taste. 7 But, just as Noah, 8 that holy Man, to whom we are so much 
obliged and beholden, for that he planted for us the Vine, from which 
comes to us that nectarian, delicious, precious, heavenly, joyous and 
deific Liquor, which is called Drink, was deceived in drinking it (for 
he was ignorant of the great Virtue and Power thereof), so likewise the 
Men and Women of that Time ate with Delight that fair great Fruit 

But from it there befell them very different Accidents ; for upon all 
there fell in the Body a very horrible Swelling, but not to all in the same 
Place ; for some swelled in the Belly and it became to them convex like 
i»Cf. Enr.Cyci. a great Tun; of whom it is written ^ventrem omnipotentem : who were 
all honest Men and merry Blades ; and of this Race was born St. Fat- 
paunch and Shrove-Tuesday. 

Others swelled in the Shoulders and were so bunch-backed that they 
were called Montifers, as much as to say HiII-carriers y of whom you still 
see some in the World of divers Sexes and Dignities : of this Race 
came Esopet, 10 whose excellent Deeds and Sayings you have in writing. 

Others did swell in Length of that Limb, which is called the Labourer 
of Nature ; in such sort that they had it marvellously long, great, plump, 
big, flourishing and crested in the antique fashion, so much that they 
used it for a Girdle, winding it five or six times round their Body ; and 
if it chanced that it was in good case, with the Wind astern, then to see 
them, you would have said they were Champions with their Lance in rest 

debitoribus, i.e. the sun swerved a 8 Noah. Sir T. Browne has : " Re- 
little, i" as we forgive our debtors "(sicutet ligion excuseth the fact of Noah, in the 
nos dimittimus debiteribus nostris), iii. 47. aged surprisal of six hundred years" (Pseud. 

6 This trepidation of the firmament Epid. v. 22). 

was taught in the 9th century by the • Piot, from Greek tIpu. 

celebrated Arabian astronomer, Tebith 10 Aesop is often designated in the 

ben Koreth. Cf. the Excursus at the end Middle Ages under the names of Esopet or 

of this chapter. Ysopet. Cervantes styles him Guisapete, 

7 The Vulgate has : " Pulchrum oculis Don Q. L 24. He was represented as 
aspectuquejlelectabile " (Gen. iii. 6). hunch-backed and deformed (M. ) 

chap, i PANTAGRUEL 211 

to joust at the Quintain. Of these the Race is extinct, as the Women 
say ; for they do lament continually that 

There be none of those big, etc., 

you know the rest of the Song. 

Others grew in the matter of Cods so enormously that three well rilled 
a Hogshead. From these are descended the Cods of Lorraine, which 
never dwell in Cod-pieces, but always fall to the Bottom of the Breeches. 
Others grew in their Legs, and, to see them, you would have said they 
were Cranes or Flamingoes, or perhaps people walking on Stilts, and the 
little Schoolboys call them in Grammar, Jambicks (Jambus). 

In others, their Nose grew so much that it looked like the Beak of a 
Limbeck, diapered all over, all starred with Bubucles, budding forth, 
empurpled, pimpled, enamelled, studded and embroidered Gules. 11 
And such you have seen in the Canon of Panzoult, and Club-foot the 
Physician of Angers; of which Race were those who love their ptisatu, 
but were all fond of the septembral Juice. Naso and Ovid 1S took their 
Origin from thence, as did all those of whom it was written Ne reminis- 
cart's. 13 

Others grew in their Ears, and had them so great that of one you 
could have made a Doublet, a pair -of Breeches and a Jacket, and with 
the other covered yourself as with a Spanish Cape; and it is said that in 
Bourbonnais this Race remains to this day, whence we get the saying 
Bourdon Ears. 14 

The others grew in Length of Body ; and of them came the Giants, 
and by them PantagrueL 
The first was Chalbroth, 
Who begat Sarabroth, 
Who begat Faribroth, 
Who begat Hurtaly, that was a rare Eater of Potage and reigned in the 

time of the Flood; 
Who begat Nembroth (Nimrod), 
Who begat Atlas, who with his Shoulders kept the Sky from falling ; 

u " Her nose all o'er embellished with Psalms (Duchat). There is also an 

rubies, carbuncles, sapphires" (Com. of equivoque on ne and net. 
Errors , iiL 2, 138). 14 Pomponius Mela (iii. § 56) and Pliny 

u Naso and Ovid. A grotesque way of (iv. 13, § 28) say much the same of certain 

speaking of P. Ovidius Naso, with a view people called Ilarcfrrtot. Montaigne speaks 

to bring the " Nosy " one into prominence, also of great ears being in esteem in Peru, 

u " Ne reminiscaris delicto mea vel ii. 12. Cf. " fes pais de Bourbonnois oil 

parentum meorum " (Tob. iii. 3). Chanted croisent mes belles aureilles " (Des Periers, 

before and after the seven penitential Nov. 94). 


Who begat Goliath, 

Who begat Eryx, 15 who was the Inventor of the Tricks of Thimble-rigging; 
Who begat Tityus, 
Who begat Eryon, 
Who begat Polyphemus, 
« vixg. Aen. Who begat Cacus, c 

vm. X94. 

Who begat Etion, who was the first to have the Pox for not drinking 

fresh in Summer, as Bartachin 16 testifieth ; 
Who begat Enceladus, 
Who begat Ceiis, 
Who begat Typhoeus, 
Who begat Aloeus, 
Who begat Otus, 
Who begat Aegeon, 

Who begat Briareus, that had a hundred Hands ; 
Who begat Porphyrio, 
Who begat Adamastor, 
Who begat Antaeus, 
Who begat Agatho, 

Who begat Poms, against whom fought Alexander the Great ; 
Who begat Aranthas, 

Who begat Gabbara, 17 who was the first Inventor of drinking Healths ; 
Who begat Goliath of Secundilla, 18 

Who begat Offot, who had a terrible fine Nose from drinking at the Cask; 
Who begat Artachaeus, 19 
Who begat Oromedon, 
Who begat Gemmagog, 80 who was the Inventor of peaked Shoes ; n 

u Eryx was the Sicilian giant killed 5 royal cubits (about 7 ft. 3 in.) tall 

by Hercules; he left his boxing-gloves to (Herod, vii. 117). 

Entellus (Virg. Aen. v. 401-416). Mt. * Gemmagog, probably a corruption of 

Eryx in Sicily is now St. Juliano. Gog and Magog in Revelation. Spenser 

16 Jean Bertachin was a grave juris- (F-Q- ill. 9, 50) has a giant Goemagot 
consult of Fremo, near Ancona, to- inhabiting Britain, slain by Corineus. 
wards the end of the 15th century, the n souliers h poulaine (ii. 34, iv. 31, v. 
last person to write on such a subject 46, ventres a poulaine), Calcei repandi, 
(Duchat). rostrati, lunati, comuti, peaked shoes of 

17 Gabbara^ the tallest man under enormous length which were in fashion in 
Claudius, brought from Africa. He was various European courts. They were 
9 ft 9 in. (Plin. vii. 16, § 16). said to have been invented by Henry II. 

18 Secundilla was a giant under the of England to conceal the deformity of 
reign of Augustus, half a foot taller than one undeveloped foot. Poulaine is for 
Gabbara (Plin. vii. 16, § 16). Pologne. Coquillart has in his Plaidayeri 

» Artachaeus was the overseer of the Sabtures, chapperons de migmynes, 

digging of Xerxes' canal. He was nearly Chaustes et loullien 4 ponlaines. 


chap, i PANTAGRUEL 213 

Who begat Sisyphus, 

Who begat the Titans, from whom sprang Hercules ; 

Who begat Enay, who was very expert in taking the little Worms out of 

the Hands ; 
Who begat Fierabras, who was conquered by Oliver, Peer of France, 

Companion of Roland ; 
Who begat Morgan, who was the first in this World who played at Dice 

with Spectacles ; 
Who begat Fracassus, 22 of whom Merlin Coccai has written, Of whom 

was born Ferragus ; ** 
Who begat Happe-mouche, who was the first to invent drying Neats' 

Tongues in the Chimney ; for before that people used to salt them as 

they do Hams; 
Who begat Bolivorax, 
Who begat Longis, 
Who begat Gayoffe, whose Cods were of Poplar, and his Member of the 

Who begat Maschefain, 
Who begat Bruslefer, 
Who begat Engoulevent, 
Who begat Galehault, the Inventor of Flagons ; 
Who begat Mirelangaut, 
Who begat Galaffire, 
Who begat Falourdin, 
Who begat Roboastre, 
Who begat Sortibrant of Conimbres, 
Who begat Brushant of Mommifere, 
Who begat Bruyer, that was overcome by Ogier the Dane, Peer of 

France ; 
Who begat Mabrun, 
Who begat Foutasnon, 
Who begat Hacquelebac, 
Who begat Vit-de-grain, 
Who begat Grandgousier, 
Who begat Gargantua, 

9 Fracassus is a giant companion of ally a monk, but he unfrocked himself 

Baldus in the Macaronic poem of Merlin and passed a roving life. He was the 

Coccai, to whom our author is indebted originator of macaronic verse, that is, a 

for some episodes and sundry words and mixture of Latin with burlesque Italian, 
phrases. His real name was Theophilo * Ferragus is a Saracen giant in Spain 

Folengo (1492-1544), and he was origin- mentioned by Boiardo and Ariosto. 




4 Luc Icar. c. 
«3 sgg. 

Who begat the noble Pantagmel, my Master. 14 

I know well that in reading this Passage you raise within yourselves 
a Doubt that is very reasonable, and ask how it is possible that it should 
be so, seeing that at the time of the Flood all the World perished except 
Noah and seven Persons with him in the Ark, in the Number of which 
is not placed the aforesaid Hurtaly. Doubtless the Question is well 
put and seemingly just ; but the Answer will satisfy you, or I have my 
Wits ill caulked. 

And because I was not of that Time so as to tell you anything of 
my own Fancy, I will bring forward for you the Authority of the 
Massorites, 86 good sturdy Fellows, and fine Hebraic Bag-pipers, 26 who 
affirm that verily the said Hurtaly was not in Noah's Ark. 

Moreover, he could not get in there, for he was too big ; but he sat 
astride of it, one Leg on one Side and the other on the other Side, as 
little Children do on their wooden Horses ; or as the great Bull of 
Berne, 97 who was killed at Marignan, rode for his Hackney a huge 
stone-hurling Cannon, without all question a Creature of a fair and 
pleasant Amble. 

In this Fashion, next to God, he saved the said Ark from Danger, 
for he adjusted its Balance with his Legs, and with his Feet turned it 
where he would, as one does with the Helm of a Ship. Those who 
were within sent him Victuals in abundance by a Chimney, as acknow- 
ledging the good he did them: and sometimes they did converse 
together, as did d Icaromenippus with Jupiter, according to the Account 
in Lucian. 

Have you thoroughly understood all this? Drink then a good 
Draught without Water. For if you do not believe it, " No 'faith^ I do 
not" quoth she. 28 

94 The editors of the Variorum edition 
make out, not only that the fifty-nine 
giants here mentioned correspond, in 
number, to the fifty-nine kings of France 
from Pharamond to Henry II. (which is 
very possible), but they go so far as to 
identify each giant in order with the 
corresponding king. 

* Mas sorites , authors of the Massorah 
or commentary of certain Rabbis on the 

* " Interpreters of the holy Hebrew 
Scriptures," editions of 1533. 

v Motteux discovered in Paul Jovius 
an account of this gigantic Switzer, whose 
name was Pontiner, and who was killed 
by the lansquenets of Francis in the act of 
taking a cannon on which he was astride. 
He is mentioned again by Rabelais in 
iv. 41. The Bull was the Switzer who 
gave the signal in time of war with 
a bull's horn. One of the characters in 
Schiller's WilJulm Tell is der Slier van 

28 A proverbial expression meaning 
"Neither do I. " 


The trepidation of the firmament or dn-Xai/ifc* as opposed to the 

ir\ai>7)Tcu, was a subject much discussed by the astronomers of the 

Middle Ages. Cf. iv. 65 : " Nouveau mouvement de titubation et 

trepidation, tant controvers et debattu entre les folz astrologues " ; and 

Milton, P.L. iii. 481 : 

They pass the planets seven, and pass the fixt, 
And that crystalline sphere whose balance weighs 
The trepidation talk'd, and that first moved ; 

a passage describing the attempts made by ambitious souls to reach the 
empyrean from the earth. The Ptolemaic system of the world is here 
adopted, being an arrangement of the following kind. The Earth is 
the centre and is surrounded by the five planets, the Sun and Moon, 
moving in concentric circles in the following order from the Earth : — 
1, Moon ; 2, Mercury ; 3, Venus ; 4, Sun ; 5, Mars ; 6, Jupiter ; 7, 
Saturn. Next comes the Caelum Stellatum or the Zodiac, and (9) the 
Caelum Crystallinum or the Primum mobile. Beyond that is the Caelum 
Quietum or the "Steadfast" Empyrean (JP.Z. vi. 833). In Tasso (Ger. 
Lib. ix. 60) the Angel Michael descends through these in the reverse 

The description in Macrobius is as follows (Somn. Scip. ii. 4, § 8) : 
"Ergo universi mundani corporis sphaerae novem sunt prima ilia 
stellifera, quae proprio nomine caelum dicitur et airXainj*; apud Graecos 
vocatur, arcens et continens carter as. haec ab oriente semper volvitur in 
occasum, subjectae septem, quas vagas dicimus, ab occidente in orientem 
feruntur, nona, terra sine motu. octo sunt igitur quae moventur, sed 
septem soni sunt qui concinentiam de volubilitate conficiunt, propterea 
quia Mercurialis et Venerius orbis pari ambitu comitati solem, viae ejus 
tamquam satellites obsecuntur, et ideo a nonnullis astronomiae student- 
ibus eandem vim sortiri existimantur, unde ait [Cicero] illi autem octo 
cursus in quibus eadem vis est duorum septem efidunt distinctos intervalHs 
sonos, qui numerus rerum omnium fere nodus est" 


It is in Plato that we first find this idea of the rotation of the planets 
moving in different directions, in the Timaeus, 38 c-39 a (Archer-Hind's 
translation) : " So then this was the plan and intent of God for the 
generation of time ; the sun and the moon and five other stars which 
have the name of planets have been created for defining and preserving 
the numbers of time. And when God had made their several bodies 
He set them in the orbits wherein the revolution of the Other was 
moving, in seven circles seven stars. The moon He placed in that 
nearest the earth, and in the second above the earth He set the sun ; 
and the morning-star (€Q>cr<f>6po<; ■= Venus) and that which is held sacred 
to Hermes He assigned to those that moved in an orbit having equal 
speed with the sun, but having a contrary tendency ; wherefore the sun 
and Hermes and the morning-star in like manner overtake and are 
overtaken one by another. And as to the rest, were we to set forth 
all the orbits wherein He put them and the causes wherefore He did 
so, the account, though only by the way, would lay on us a heavier 
task than that which was our chief object in giving it . . . 

" But when each of the beings which were to join in creating time 
had arrived in his proper orbit and had been generated as animate 
creatures, their bodies secured with living bonds, and had learnt their 
appointed task ; then in the motion of the Other, which was slanting 
and crossed the motion of the Same and was thereby controlled, whereas 
one of these planets had a larger, another a smaller circuit, the lesser 
orbit was completed more swiftly, the larger more slowly : but because 
of the motion of the Same, those which revolved most swiftly seemed 
to be overtaken by those that went more slowly, though really they 
overtook them. For the motion of the Same, twisting all their circles 
into spirals, because they have a separate and simultaneous motion in 
the opposite way, being of all the swiftest, displays closest to itself that 
which departs most slowly from it" 

With this may be compared the passage in the Republic^ x. 616 d- 
617 a, and Cicero, de natur. dear, ii 20, §§ 51-53, and Mayor's note. 

Plato tried by his motion of Same and Other in different directions 
to account for the retrogression of the planets at various periods, that 
which was more successfully accomplished by Hipparchus of Nicaea in 
Bithynia {circa 160-145 b.c) We know of Hipparchus through Ptolemy 
(UroXefiaio^ KXavSto? of Alexandria, 150 a.d.) in his learned treatise 
the Almagest. Ptolemy informs us in the 3d Book how Hipparchus 
made the discovery of the precession of the equinoxes, i.e. a slow retro- 
grade motion of the equinoctial points from east to west, or contrary 
to the order of the signs. This phenomenon is caused by the combined 

bxcursus PANTAGRUEL 217 

action of the sun and moon on the mass of matter accumulated about 
the earth's equator, and is called the precession of the equinoxes, because 
they succeed each other in less time than they otherwise would do. 
When this was discovered by Hipparchus (150 B.C.), the point of the 
autumnal equinox was about 6° to the east of the star called Spica 
Virginis. In 1750 A.D., i.e. 1900 years after, this point was observed to 
be 26 21' westward of that star. Hence it appears that the equinoctial 
points will make an entire revolution in about 25,745 years (Ogilvie, 
Imp. Did.) 

The trepidation is a libration of the eighth sphere (the Zodiac), or a 
motion ascribed to the firmament in the Ptolemaic system to account 
for the changes and motion in the axis of the world (Ogilvie, Imp. Diet.) 

On the subject of the varying velocities and directions of the planets, 
Pliny, following Hipparchus, has a long account, ii. 12-18, §§ 9-16 (53-80). 

Rabelais had also in mind here, and especially in iv. 65, the follow- 
ing passage in Cornelius Agrippa de Vanitate Scientiarum, c. 30, 
" De Astronomia " : " Sed et de motu octavi orbis ac stellarum fixarum 
admodum inter se variant; Chaldaei atque Aegyptii ilium unica dumtaxat 
latione ferri affirmant, quibus assentiunt Alpetragus et ex recentioribus 
Alexander Aquilinus : caeteri autem astronomi ab Hipparcho ad nostra 
usque tempore, ilium pluribus motibus circumagi dicunt : Judaei Tal- 
mudistae illi duplicem motum assignant : Azarcheles atque Tebith et 
Joannes de monte regio motum trepidationis, quern dicunt, accessus et 
recessus, super parvis circulis circa capita Arietis et Librae illi adscrip- 
serunt, sed in hoc a se invicem differentes, quod Azarcheles ait caput 
mobile a fixo non plus decern partibus distare posse, Tebith autem non 
plus partibus quattuor, cum decern et novem ferme minutiis, Joannes de 
regio monte non plus partibus octo, atque idcirco Stellas fixas non 
semper ad eandem mundi partem vergi, sed quandoque reverti unde 
coeperunt, arbitrantur; sed Ptolemaeus, Albategni, Rab. Levi, Aven- 
azre, Zacutus et inter recentiores Paulus Florentinus et Augustinus 
Ritius, mihi in Italia summa familiaritate devinctus, Stellas juxta sig- 
norum successiones, semper et continuo moveri affirmant Recentiores 
autem astronomi triplicem octavae sphaerae motum attribuunt, unum 
proprium, quern trepidationis diximus, qui in septem millibus annis 
semel compleatur: alterum, quern gyrationis dicunt, a nona sphaera, 
cujus circumvolutio non minus quam quadraginta novem millibus annis 
finiatur : tertium a decimo orbe, quern vocant motum primi mobilis, 
sive motum raptus, sive diurnum, qui intra diem naturalem ad principium 
suum quotidie revertitur." 


Of the Nativity of the very redoubted Pantagruel 

Gargantua at the Age of four hundred fourscore forty and four Years 
begat his Son Pantagruel on his Wife, named Badebec, Daughter of 
the King of the Amaurots l in Utopia, who died in Childbirth ; for he 
was so wonderfully big and heavy that it was impossible for him to come 
into the World without thus suffocating his Mother. 

But to understand fully the Cause and Reason for his Name, which 
was given him at Baptism, you will note that in that Year there was so 
great a Drought throughout all the Land of Africa that there passed 
thirty-six Months, three Weeks, four Days, thirteen Hours and some 
little more without Rain, with the Sun's Heat so vehement that all the 
Earth was parched up by it ; neither was it more burnt up in the Days 
• i Rings xvit of a Elijah than it was then, for there was no Tree on the Earth that had 
either Leaf or Flower. 

The Grass was without Verdure, the Rivers drained, the Fountains 
dried up ; the poor Fish abandoned by their own Element, straggling 
and crying horribly along the Ground, the Birds falling from the Air for 
want of Dew ; the Wolves, Foxes, Stags, Boars, Deer, Hares, Conies, 
Weasels, Martins, Badgers and other Beasts were found in the Fields 
dead with their Mouths agape. 

With respect to Men, the Case was most piteous ; you might have 
seen them lolling out their Tongues like Greyhounds that had run six 
Hours ; many threw themselves into Wells ; others put themselves into 
a Cow's Belly to be in the Shade ; these Homer calls Alibantes? 

* Amaurots (d/iavp6t, dim), dimly seen, ( 0<L vi. 201 ) of diepol /9poroi, that is, moist, 

invisible = non-existent. There is a city juicy, vigorous men, but not of the opposite, 

of that name in Sir Thomas More's Utopia, &\Lparret (d-A//9af), dried up. It is a 

published 15 16. word used by Eustathius in his explana- 

1 This is hardly exact. Homer speaks tion of diepbt. But probably Rabelais 

chap, n PA NT A GRUEL 219 

All the Country was at a Stand. It was a lamentable Case to see 
the Toil of Mortals to defend themselves from this horrible Drought ; 
for it was Work enough to save the Holy Water in the Churches so that 
it should not be dried up ; but such Order was given about it by the 
Advice of my Lords the Cardinals and the Holy Father, that no one 
dare take more of it than a Lick. 8 Yet when any one came into the 
Church you might have seen them by Scores, poor thirsty Souls, coming 
behind the Man who distributed it to any one, with their Throat open 
to get some little Drop of it, like the b Wicked Rich Man, so that fcLucxvLa* 
nothing should be lost O how happy was he in that Year who had a 
cool and well-furnished Cellar ! 

The Philosopher 4 relates, in starting the Question, why is it that the Sea- 
water is salt t that at the Time when Phoebus gave the Government of his 
light-giving Chariot to his Son Phaethon, the said Phaethon, ill-instructed 
in the Art and not knowing how to follow the Ecliptic Line between 
the two Tropics of the Sun's Orbit, strayed out of his Way and came so 
near the Earth that he dried up all the subjacent Countries, burning up 
a large Part of the Heavens, which the Philosophers call Via Lactea> 
and the Huff-snuffs 5 call St. James's Path, although the most high- 
crested Poets declare that it is the Part where Juno's Milk fell when she 
suckled Hercules. 7 Then it was that the Earth was so heated that there 
came upon it an enormous Sweat, so that it sweated out the whole Sea, 
which by this is salt, for all Sweat is salt ; that you will say is true, if you 
will taste your own, or that of the pocky Patients when they are put into 
a Sweating ; it is all one to me. 

owed both bis information and his error Progn. cap. 5, Ckresme Philos.), a name 

to Plutarch {Quaest. Comriv. viii. 10, 1 1 -12), commonly given to the Germans or Swiss, 

who first speaks of Siepbs as used in Here it simply means quacks of philo- 

Homer, and then proceeds to speak of sophy. Urquhart's rendering, adopted 

dXi/3ar. The word also occurs in Plato, in the text, seems very happy. 
Rep. iil 387 c. Also d/iAct koX rods e The Via Lactea was called St. James's 

dvoOardwras dXi/farraf koXovcw Cn hfcch Path by the Pilgrims to St. James of 

Xt/3d&», TovriffTiv vypSmjTot (Plut Mor. Compostella. The Jacobins ( = Domini- 

956 a). cans) were at variance with the Thomists 

* Fr. venue. In the patois of Saintonge as to the elements of which it was com- 

venue means the smallest sup. posed. Cf. Dante, Convito, ii. 15 : "La 

4 Plutarch (Plac. Philos. iii. 16, 897 a) Galassia, cioe quello biancho cerchio, che 

assigns to Empedocles the theory that the il vulgo chiama la via di Santo Jacopo." 

sea is the sweat of the earth when it is In Chaucer (Hous cf Fame, ii. 939) the 

parched up by the sun, and to the Pytha- Galaxy is called Watling Street See 

goreans (Plac. Philos. iii. I, 892 b) the Skeat's note. 

story about Phaethon. For the fable of 7 Juntts Milk. This story is recorded 

Phaethon see Ovid, Met. ii. 1-366. by Eratosthenes, Catast. 44 ; Hyginus, 

' Fr. lifrelofres (iii Prol. and 8, Pant. Poet. Astron. ii 43 ; Pausan. ix. 25, § 2. 




A Case very like occurred this same Year ; for on a certain Friday 
when all the World was celebrating their Devotions and was making a 
fine Procession with store of Litanies and fair Chantings, supplicating 
Almighty God to vouchsafe with His Eye of Mercy to look down upon 
them in their great Distress, there were manifestly seen great Drops of 
Water to issue from the Earth, as when some Man sweats copiously. 

And the poor People began to rejoice, as if it had been a Thing 
profitable to them ; for some said that there was not a Drop of Moisture 
in the Air from which they could hope to have Rain, and that the Earth 
was supplying the Default thereof. 

Other learned People said that it was Rain from the Antipodes, as 
Seneca 8 narrates in the fourth Book of his Questiones naturaks, in 
speaking of the Origin and Source of the River Nile ; but they were 
deceived For when the Procession was finished, when every one wished 
to gather of this Dew and drink from full Bowls, they found that it was 
only Brine, worse and more brackish than Sea-water. 

And because on that very Day Pantagruel was bom, his Father gave 
'him that Name (for Panta in Greek is as much as to say All, and Gruel 
in the Hagarene 9 Language has the same Meaning as thirsty), wishing 
to infer that at the Hour of his Birth all the World was athirst, and also 
seeing in a Spirit of Prophecy that hejgoald on> Day be.g.wlar of the 
Thirsty Race ; which was shewn to him at that very Hour by another 
SignsBllTnore evident. 

For when his Mother Badebec was bringing him forth, and the Mid- 
wives were in attendance to receive him, there came forth first from her 

Sixty-Eight Carters, 10 each drawing by the Halter a Mule heavy-laden 
with Salt ; 

After which came out nine Dromedaries laden with Hams and dried 
Neats' Tongues; 

Seven Camels laden with salted Eels, 11 

8 Rabelais does not report quite cor- 
rectly. Seneca ascribes (Quaest. Nat. iv. 
§ 21) to Euthymenes of Marseilles the 
theory that the Nile was caused to rise 
by the Etesian winds blowing from the 
Atlantic Ocean. 

9 Hagarene, ue. Arabic; the Arabs or 
Saracens claiming descent from Ishmael, 
the son of Agar (the stranger). 

10 Carters, Fr. tregennier (Lat. tragin- 

u Fr. anguillettes, small eels caught in 
the autumn in Languedoc and Guienne, 
and salted against the following Lent. 
"Idem certum est evenire in permultis 
Galliae rivulis et fluminibus in quibus 
turbata aqua autumnalibus pluviis nassis 
et aliis excipulis innumerabiles capi- 
untur Anguillat quae salitae in proxi- 
mum quadraginta dierum jejunium 
servantur" (RondeUt on River-fish, cap. 


chap, ii PANTAGRUEL 221 

Then twenty-five Cart-loads of Leeks, Garlic, Onions and Chalots ; 
which mightily frightened the said Midwives. 

But some among them said : " Lo, here is good Provision ; we were 
but drinking lazily, not as Landsmen ; 18 this can only be a good Sign ; 
these be Whets to Wine." 

And as they were cackling with this sort of Gossip among themselves, 
behold ! out comes Pantagruel, all hairy like a Bear ; whereupon one of 
them said in a Spirit of Prophecy : " He is born with all his Hair on ; 
he will perform Prodigies, and if he live, he will be of a goodly Age." 

u Landsmen, ix. compatriots (Germans). 


Of the Mourning which Gargantua made at the Death of his 

Wife Badebec 

When Pantagruel was born, there was none more astonished and per- 
plexed than Gargantua his Father. For seeing on one Side his Wife 
Badebec dead, and on the other his Son Pantagruel born, so fair and so 
great, he knew not what to say or what to do ; and the Doubt that 
troubled his Brain was to know whether he ought to weep for the 
Mourning at his Wife's Death, or to laugh for the Joy at his Son's 

On either side he had sophistical Arguments which choked him; 
for he framed them very well in modo et figura y but he could not solve 
them, and by this means he remained entangled like a Mouse caught 
in Pitch 1 or a Kite taken in a Gin. 

"Shall I weep?" said he. "Yes. For why? My so good Wife is 
dead, who was the most this, the most that, that ever was in the World 
Never shall I see her, never shall I recover one like her. It is to me a 
Loss that I cannot price. O my good God, what had I done that thou 
shouldst thus punish me? Why didst thou not send Death to me 
before her, for to live without her is to me only to languish ? Ah ! 
Badebec, my Minion, my Darling, my little Corner — -nevertheless 
it contained three Acres and two Roods — my Tenderling, my Cod- 
piece, my Shoe, my Slipper, never shall I see thee more. Ah ! poor 
Pantagruel, thou hast lost thy good Mother, thy sweet Nurse, thy 
well-beloved Lady. Ah ! false Death, how malicious art thou to me, 
how outrageous, to take from me her, to whom of right Immortality 
belonged ! " 

1 souris cmpcigic (not emptigic). Cf. (Erasm. Adag. ChiL 2, Cent 3, No. 
iii. 37. " Mos in pice deprehensus " 68). 

chap, in PANTAGRUEL 223 

And saying this he cried like a Cow, but all of a sudden he fell a- 
laughing like a Calf, when Pantagruel came into his Mind 

" Ho, my little Son," said he, " my Codkin, my little Foot, how jolly 
thou art, and how beholden I am to God for that He hath given me 
a Son so fair, so sprightly, so laughing, so jolly ! Ho, ho, ho, ho ! how 
glad I am ! What ho ! let us drink and put away all Melancholy. 
Bring of the best : rinse the Glasses ; lay the Cloth ; drive out these 
Dogs; blow the Fire here; light the Candles; shut that Door; cut 
up these Soup-toasts ; send off these Poor folks, give them what they 
ask ; hold my Gown, that I may put myself in my Doublet to entertain 
the Gossips better." 

As he said this, he heard the Litany and the Mementos of the 
Priests who were carrying his Wife to be buried ; whereupon he gave 
over his cheerful Talk and on a sudden was carried off another way, 

" O Lord God, must I needs sadden myself again ? This grieves 
me; I am no longer young ; I become old ; the Weather is dangerous ; 
I may catch a Fever ; then am I undone. Faith of a Gentleman, 2 it is 
better worth to weep less and drink more. My Wife is dead, well, well ; 
par Dicu (dajurandi)* I shall not bring her to Life again by my Tears ; 
she is well, she is in Paradise at the least, if not better ; she prayeth 
God for us, she is happy, she troubleth herself no more for our Miseries 
and Calamities. The same Fate visibly hangs over us ; God keep the 
rest I must think to find me another Wife. 

" But see here what you must do," said he to the Midwives — " Wise 
women ! 4 Where are they ? Good People ! I cannot see you. 6 — Go 
to the Burial of my Wife, and meanwhile I will rock my Son here, for I 
feel myself very much distempered, and should be in danger of falling 
sick ; but drink some good Draught of Wine before, for you will find 
yourselves better for it, believe me, on my Honour." 

Obedient thereunto, they went to the Interment and the Funeral, 
and the poor Gargantua remained at Home ; and in the meantime he 
composed the Epitaph to be engraved on her Tomb, in the Manner as 
followeth : 

1 Foi dt gcntil hommc was the common is repeated in Book iv., Old Prol. and 

adjuration of Francis I. New Prol. init. Cf. Aristophanes, Hut. 

* dajurandiy sc. veniam. Also iii. 20, 97-99 : 

IT. IO. ^P ^ ^^ ft jT g/tirr J» At Bm&itut « 

4 Rabelais puns on the double mean- nA [ ^ w ^ f # y f . 

ing of Sages femmes. mxxrf ykf mMk *% ty«*' b* x/W 

• Good People / I cannot see you. This XP. «•; fcrip* ? •»«»' •*** iy* yk* i fixiwm. 


She died thereof, the noble Badebec, 
Of Child-birth, she to me so sweet of Face ; 
For she had Visage like a tuned Rebeck, 
A Spanish Figure, and a Switzer's Case. 
Pray God that He to her be full of Grace, 
Pardoning her, if aught she did transgress. 
Here lies her Body having of Vice no Trace. 
She died the Year and Day she did decease. 


Of the Infancy of Pantagruel 

I find by the ancient Historiographers and Poets that divers have been 
born into this World after very strange Manners, which would be too 
long to recount ; for instance, read the seventh Book of Pliny, if you 
have Leisure. Yet you never heard of a Birth so marvellous as was that 
of Pantagruel ; for it was a Thing difficult to believe how he grew in 
Body and Strength in a short Time. What a Hercules did was as * Kn<L Afe*. 

i. 39-47! Plant. 

nothing, when in his Cradle he slew the two Serpents; for those Serpents ****** "33-35- 
were but little and weak, whereas Pantagruel, being yet in his Cradle, 
did Things that were quite astounding. 

Here I pass by how at each of his Meals he drank down the Milk 
of four thousand six hundred Cows, and how, to make him a Skillet to 
boil his Soup in, were employed all the Braziers of Saumur in Anjou, of 
Ville-dieu in Normandy, and of Bramont in Lorraine, and they gave 
him his Soup in a great Drinking-trough, which is still existing at Bourges, 
near the Palace ; but his Teeth were already so well-grown and strong 
that he broke a great Piece out of the said Trough, as very plainly doth 

One day, towards Morning, that they wished him to suck one of his 
Cows — for of Nurses he never had any other, as History tells us — he got 
loose one of his Arms from the Swaddling-bands that held him fast in 
the Cradle, and lays me hold of the said Cow under the Ham and ate 
up her two Udders and half her Paunch, with the Liver and Kidneys, and 
would have devoured all of her, if it had not been that she cried out 
horribly, as though the Wolves held her by the Legs ; at which Noise 
people came up and took away the said Cow from Pantagruel ; but they 
could not do it so well but that the Quarter remained in his Hand as 
he held it ; and he ate it as you would a Sausage, and when they tried to 
take the Bone from him he swallowed it speedily, as a Cormorant would 
vol. 1 Q 


a little Fish, and afterwards began to say " Good, good, good ! " for as 
yet he could not speak plainly ; wishing to give them to understand that 
he found it very good, and that he only wanted as much again. 

Seeing this, his Attendants bound him with stout Cables, such as are 
those which are made at Tain 1 for the Transport of Salt to Lyons, or 
those of the great Ship Franfoyse, which is at Anchor at Havre de Grace 
in Normandy. 

But at a certain time when a great Bear, which his Father kept, 

escaped and came to lick his Face, — for the Nurses had not properly 

b judges xri wiped his Chaps, — he rid himself of the said Cables as easily as b Sam- 

"' Ia * son did from among the Philistines, and takes me up Mr. the Bear and 

tore him to Pieces like a Pullet, and made of him a nice warm Tid-bit * 

for that Meal. 

Whereupon Gargantua, fearing he would damage himself, had four 
great iron Chains made to bind him, and strong wooden Girders to his 
Cradle, well mortised. And of these Chains you have one at La 
• ct v. 33, n. a. Rochelle which they draw up at Night between the two great c Towers of 
the Harbour, the other is at Lyons, the other at Angers, and the fourth 
was carried away by the Devils to bind Lucifer, who at that time was 
breaking his Chains by reason of a Colic that did extraordinarily tor- 
ment him, for having eaten the Soul of a Serjeant fricasseed for his 

Therefore you can well believe that which Nicolas de Lyra 8 says on 
the Passage of the Psalter where it is written : d " And Og the King of 
Basan" namely that the said Og, being still little, was so strong and 
robustious that they must needs bind him with Chains of Iron in his 
Cradle. And so he remained quiet and peaceable, for he could not so 
easily break these Chains, especially as he had no Room in the Cradle 
to swing his Arms. 

But see what happened one Day on a great Festival, when his father 
Gargantua was giving a sumptuous Banquet to all the Princes of his 
Court ! I am inclined to believe that all the Officers of his Court were 
so much occupied in the Service of the Feast that nobody gave a thought 

1 Tain, a small town in the depart- * de Lyra, a converted Jew (+1340) 

ment of La Dr6me, on the left bank of the who became a Dominican in 1291. He 

Rhone, opposite Tournon. There was a was occupied with an explanation of the 

storehouse of salt here, which they put Bible {Biblia sacra cum postillis), finished 

on board and unladed at Lyons. in 132a This was the only commentary 

1 gorge chaude, a term of falconry, a in vogue till the Reformation times. Ct 

piece of the quarry given to the hawk. iii. 1. 
So figuratively a tid-bit of food, or gossip. 

d Plcxxxv. 90. 

chap, iv PANTAGRUEL 227 

to poor Pantagruel, and he remained thus a rectdorum^ out in the cold. 
What did he do? 

What did he do, my good People ? Listen. He tried to break the 
Chains of his Cradle with his Arms ; but he could not, for they were 
too strong for him. Then he set up such a Stamping with his Feet that 
he burst out the End of his Cradle, notwithstanding it was made of 
a great Beam seven Spans square, and as soon as he had put his Feet 
without, he slid down the best he could, so that he reached the Ground 
with his Feet ; and then with great Might he raised himself, carrying his 
Cradle upon his Back bound in this way, just like a Tortoise that crawls 
up against a Wall ; and to look at, it seemed as though he was a great 
Carack of five hundred Tons burden, on its Beam-ends. Thus accoutred 
he came into the Hall where they were banqueting, and that boldly, so 
that he did much affright the Company; but inasmuch as he had his 
Arms bound within, he could reach nothing to eat, but with great Pain 
bent himself down, to take some Mouthful with 6 his Tongue. 

Seeing this, his Father understood that they had left him without 
giving him anything to eat, and commanded that he should be loosed from 
the said Chains, by the advice of the Princes and Lords there present 
Besides which, the Physicians of Gargantua said that if they kept him 
thus in his Cradle, he would be all his Life subject to the Stone. 

When he was unchained, they made him sit down, and he fed very 
heartily. He then knocked his Cradle into more than five hundred 
thousand Pieces with a Blow of his Fist, which he struck in the midst 
of it in a Rage, swearing that he would never come into it again. 

* arcculorum. This phrase comes from tatis: et qui nihil apportatis a rtculorum." 

the University' of Paris. Mat Cordier, The proper form is ad rtculum (Duchat). 
p. 433 of his de Corr. serm. emend, (ed. * a tout is used in old French for avu 

1 531), has]: " Beneveniatis qui appor- (?=EngL withal). 


Of the Deeds of the noble Pantagruel in his Youth x 

Thus grew Pantagruel from day to day, improving visibly ; at which his 
Father rejoiced through natural Affection. And he had made for him 
while he was quite little, a Cross-bow, to take his Pastime in shooting 
at small Birds ; now it is called the great Cross-bow at Chantelle. 8 

Then he sent him to School to learn, and spend his Youth profit- 
ably. And so indeed he came to Poitiers to study, and there profited 
much; at this Place, seeing that the Scholars were sometimes at 
leisure and did not know how to bestow their Time, he took Com- 
passion on them, and one day took from a great Ridge called Passe- 
Lourdin 8 a huge Rock of about twelve Fathoms square and fourteen 
Spans thick, and with great Ease put it on four Pillars in the middle of 
a Field, to the end that the said Scholars, when they had nothing else 
to do, might pass their Time in getting up on the said Stone and there 
feasting with store of Flagons, Hams, and Pasties, and carving their 
Names upon it with a Knife. It is now called the lifted Stone. 4 And 
in Memory of this, no one is entered in the Matriculation Book of the 
said University of Poitiers, unless he have drunk in the caballine 

1 M. Rathery most reasonably suggests 
(taking his cue from a sentence of Antoine 
Leroy : "Rabelaesus Gallicas omnes scien- 
tiarum bonarumque artium academias 
sub Pantagruelis nomine peragravit") 
that in this chapter is an account of Rabe- 
lais' visits to the French Universities, 
and that it took place between the time 
of his leaving Maillezais and Legugl and 
his arrival at Montpellier in 153a 

* ChanUlle is a little town in the 
Bourbonnais, on the borders of Auvergne. 
In the Middle Ages it was an arsenal re- 

nowned for the production of huge arba- 
lests, mangonels, etc., for siege purposes. 
There was a castle there, demolished by 
Francis I. after its occupation by the 
Constable Charles de Bourbon, who 
traitorously went over to Charles V. 

* Passe - Lourdin^ a rock some dis- 
tance from Poitiers, where the students 
of the University made the freshmen walk 
along a ledge overhanging a precipice, to 
test their head. 

4 Pierre levie, a Druidic stone near 
Poitiers, 13 feet long and 3 feet thick. 

chap, v PANTAGRUEL 229 

Fountain 6 of Croustelles, passed at Passe-Lourdin, and got up on the 
Lifted Stone. 

Afterwards, on reading the delectable Chronicles of his Ancestors, 
he found that Geoffry of Lusignan, 6 called Geoffry of the long Tooth, 
Grandfather of the Cousin-in-law of the eldest Sister of the Aunt of the 
Son-in-law of the Uncle of the Daughter-in-law of his Step-mother, was 
buried at Maillezais; 7 wherefore he took Campos* to pay him a Visit 
as a respectable Man should 

And going from Poitiers with some of his Companions, they passed 
by Legugl, 9 visiting the noble Abbot Ardillon; then by Lusignan, 
Sansay, Celles, Colonges, Fontenay-le-Comte, saluting the learned 
Tiraqueau ; 10 and from there arrived at Maillezais, where he visited the 
Tomb of the said Geoffry of the long Tooth, of which he felt a little 
afraid on seeing his Portrait, for he is there represented as a Man in 
a towering Rage, drawing his huge Malchus 11 half-way out of the 

When he asked the Reason of this, the Canons of the Place told him 
there was no other Reason save that 

Pictoribus atque Poetis, etc, u 

that is to say, that Painters and foets have liberty to paint what they 
will, after their Fancy. 

But he was not satisfied with their Answer, and said : " It is not so 
painted without Cause, and I doubt that at his Death there was some 

' cabailine Fountain. An expression priory where Rabelais had for friends and 

Rabelais is fond of. He borrows it from patrons two priors consecutively — (1) 

the first line of Persius' prologue : " Nee Geoffroi d'Estissac, Bishop of Maillezais ; 

fonte labra prolui caballino," i.e. Hippo- and (2) Antoine Ardillon, Abbot of Fon- 

crene. Croustelles is a hamlet near tenay-le-Comte (iii. 43). 

Poitiers. 10 Andre* Tiraqueau, a learned juris- 

6 Geoffry of Lusignan (ii. 30), half consult and great friend of Rabelais, 
fabulous, half historical. According to whom he released from his persecution 
the Romance of Melusine, he was son of by the cordeliers at Fontenay-le-Comte, 
the Fairy Raymondin and founder of the of which place he was lieutenant-general of 
house of Lusignan. the bailiwick. Cf. iv. Prol. Nouv. To him 

7 It was Maillezais of which Geoffroi Rabelais dedicated his Epistolae Medici- 
d'Estissac, one of Rabelais 1 kindest notes Manardi in an Epistola Nuncupa- 
patrons, was bishop. toria, which still survives. 

8 Campos, a term used by the students u Malchus. The name of the high 
to signify a day's outing. Cf. CI. Marot, priest's servant (Joh. xviii. 10) is used 
Coq & Vasne (1535) : here for the sword that cut off his ear. 

Siceukquel'onfeitdesloger So used again in il 26. 

Hon de» rille* criaient Campos. u pictoribus atque poetis 

Quidlibet sudcodi semper fait aequa potest**. 
• Legugl was in Lower Poitou, a Hot. A.P. 9. 




Wrong done him, for which he required his Kindred to take Vengeance. 
I will investigate it more fully and will do what is reasonable." ls 

Then he returned, not to Poitiers, but determined to visit the 
other Universities of France, so passing on to La Rochelle he took 
Shipping and came to Bordeaux, in which Place he found no great 
Diversion, excepting the Bargees M playing Cockall lft on the Strand. 

Thence he came to Toulouse, where he learnt to dance well, and 
to play with the two-handed Sword, as is the Custom of the Scholars 
of that University ; but he did not stay there long, when he saw that 
they caused their Regents 10 to be burned alive like Red-herrings, 
for he said : " Now God forbid that I should die this Death, for I am 
by Nature sufficiently dry already, without being further heated." 

Next he came to Montpellier, where he found very good Wines 
of Mirevaux 17 and jovial Company; and he thought to set himself 
to study Medicine; but he considered that Calling was much too 
troublesome and melancholy, and that the Physicians did smell of 
Clysters like old Devils. 

Wherefore he would study Law; but seeing that there were only 
three Scald-pates and one Bald -pate, who were Legists of the said 
place, he departed thence, and on the Road constructed the Pont du 
Gard and the Amphitheatre at Nismes in less than three Hours, which, 
notwithstanding, appears to be a Work rather divine than human; 
and so he came to Avignon, where he was not three Days before 
he was in love, for the Women there do willingly play at the close- 
crupper Game, because it is Papal Territory. 18 

Seeing this, his Tutor Epistemon took him from there and 
brought him to Valence in Dauphinl; but he saw that there was 
not much Recreation, and that the Louts of the Town did beat the 
Scholars, at which he took Offence ; and one fine Sunday, when all the 
World was at the public Dancing, a Scholar wished to take his Place in 
the Dance but the Bumkins would not allow it Seeing this, Panta- 

u In 1232 he had caused to be burnt 
the Abbey of Maftlezais, and been forced 
to rebuild it by the Pope, and to endow 
'it with more than 3000 livres a year. 
Hence he was buried there and looked 
upon as a second founder (Duchat). 

14 Fr. Gabarriers % from gabare % a 
lighter or barge. 

19 Fr. luetics (not luttes, as Urquhart 
takes it), probably a game played with 
mussel-shells; mentioned as one of Gar- 
gantua's games in i. 22. 

16 This refers to Jean Caturce of 
Limoux, Professor of Laws at Toulouse, 
who was burnt for heresy, June 1532. 
Jean de Boyssone (iii. 29) was prosecuted 
at the same time. C£ Christie, EL DoUt, 

17 Mirevaux is a small town of Lower 
Languedoc, about 8 miles from Mont- 

u Avignon retained its bad character 
even from Petrarch's time (R.) 

chap, v PANTAGRUEL 231 

gruel drove them all before him with Blows right to the Banks of the 
Rhone, and would have made them all drown, but they did skulk under- 
ground like Moles, for a good half League under the Rhone. The 
Hole is still to be seen there. 10 

After that he departed thence, and in three Steps and a Jump came 
to Angers, 20 where he found himself in good Quarters, and would have 
stayed there some time, had it not been that the Plague drove them away. 

And so he came to Bourges, where he studied a very long time and 
profited much in the Faculty of the Laws. And he said sometimes 
that the Law-books seemed to him like a fine Robe of Cloth of Gold, 
marvellously pompous and precious, but trimmed with Dung ; for, said 
he, there are no Books in the World so fine, so ornate, so elegant, as 
the Texts of the Pandects, but the Bordering of them, to wit, the Gloss 
of Accursius, 21 is so filthy, scandalous and mean, that it is nothing but 
Dirt and Villainy. 

Leaving Bourges, he came to Orleans and there found a lot of 
clownish Scholars who made him great Entertainment at his Coming; 
in a little time he learnt to play Tennis with them, so well that he 
was a Master at the Game ; for the Students of that Place are good in 
Practice of it; and they took him sometimes to the Islands to 
recreate himself at the Game of Poussavant. 83 And as for breaking 
his Head overmuch with Study, he would none on't, for fear of his 
Eyes spoiling; especially as a certain one of the Regents often said 
in his Lectures that there was nothing so hurtful to the Sight as Disease 
of the Eyes. 

And one day, when one of the Scholars of his Acquaintance 
passed as Licentiate in Law, one who in Learning had but little more 
than the rest of his Set, but, as a Set-off, was well skilled in Dancing 
and playing Tennis, he thus made the Blazon and Device of the 
Licentiates in that University : 

Tennis-ball in his Placket, 
His Hand on a Racquet, 
A Law in his Tippet, 
At a Jig he would trip it ; 
And there's your Graduate hooded. 

19 There is a cavern beginning in the and writer of glosses on the Canon Law 

Abbey of St. Pierre which passes some and Justinian. The lawyers appreciated 

distance under the river. his expositions, but the scholars, such as 

* to Angers. The jump is over the 8ude\ Vives, etc, exclaimed against his 
Rhone, and the three steps take him from barbarous Latinity. 

the S.E. to the N.W. of France. * There is a pun intended between 

* Accursius, a Florentine legist (t 1 260) Pousse avant (Nine-pins) and Pen savant. 


How Pantagruel met a Lintosin who misused the 

French Language 

A certain Day, I know not when, Pantagruel was walking after Supper 
with his Companions near the Gate, by which one goes to Paris. 
There he met a Scholar quite spruce, who was coming by that Road, 
and after they had saluted one another he asked him : 

" My Friend, whence comest thou at this Time ? " 

The Scholar answered him : " From the alme, inclyte and celebrated 
Academy, which is vocitated Lutetia." 

" What is the Meaning of that?" said Pantagruel to one of his 

" It means, from Paris," he answered 

"You come then from Paris?" said he. "And in what do you 
pass your Time, you, my Masters, the Students at this same Paris ? " 

The Scholar answered : " We transfretate the Sequana at the 
Dilucule and Crepuscule ; we deambule by the Compites and the 
Quadrives of the Urb ; we despumate the Latial Verbocination, and 
like verisimilie Amorabunds we captate the Benevolence of the omni- 
jugal, omniform, and omnigenous feminine Sex. Upon certain Diecules 
we invisitate the Lupanars and in Venerian Exstasy we inculcate our 
Veretres into the penitissim Recesses of the Pudends of these ami- 
cabilissim Meretricules ; then we cauponisate in the meritory Taverns 
of the Pineapple, the Castle, the Magdalene and the Slipper 1 goodly 
vervecine Spatules perforaminated with PetrosiL 2 And if by fort 

1 According to du Marsy, these were The first sentence of this Franco- Latin 

all well-known inns in Paris ; the Castle jargon is found in the ChamJUury of 

is most probably alluded to in ii. 17, Geoffroi Tory, printed not later than 

cabaret du Chastel, and iii. 37, la rotdis- 1529 (M.) 

serie du petit ChasteUt. * Slices of mutton with parsley sauce.. 

chap, vi PANTAGRUEL 233 

Fortune 8 there is Rarity or Penury of Pecune in our Marsupies, and 
they are exhausted of ferrugineous Metal, for the Scot we do dimit our 
Codices and oppignerated Vestments, prestolating the Tabellaries to 
come from the Penates and patriotic Lares. 11 

To this Pantagruel said : " What a Devil of a Language is this ? 
By the Lord, thou art some Heretic" 

" My Lord, no," said the Scholar, " for libentissimally, as soon as it 
illucesceth any minutule Slice of the Day, I demigrate into some one 
of those so well architected Minsters, and there, irrorating myself with 
lair lustral Water, I mumble off a Parcel of some Missick Precation of 
our Sacrificules, and submurmurating my horary Precules, I elave and 
absterge my Anime from its nocturnal Inquinaments. I revere the 
Olympicoles, I latrially venerate the supernal Astripotent; I dilige 
and redame my Proxims, I observe the Decalogical Precepts; and, 
according to the Facultatule of my Vires, I do not discede the Breadth 
of an Unguicule therefrom. Nevertheless, it is veriform that, because 
Mammon doth not supergurgitate a Drop in my Locules, I am some- 
what rare and lent to supererogate the Eleemosynes to those Egents 
that ostially queritate their Stipe." 

"Muck, muck," said Pantagruel, "what is it this Fool means? 
I believe he is forging for us here some Diabolical Language, and that 
he is charming us like some Enchanter." 

At which one of his people said : " My Lord, without doubt this 
Fellow would counterfeit the Language of the Parisians, but he doth 
only flay the Latin, and thinketh thus to pindarise, and he fancieth 
that he is some great Orator in French because he disdaineth the 
common Use of Speech." 

To which Pantagruel said : " Is that true ? " 

The Scholar answered : " My Lord, Sir, my Genius is not apt nate, 
as this flagitious Nebulon asserteth, to excoriate the Cuticle of our 
vernacular Gallic; but viceversally I gnave opere, and by Veles and 
Remes I enite to locupletate it from the Latinicome Redundance." 

"By the Lord," said Pantagruel, "I will teach thee to talk; but 
first, answer me, whence art thou ? " 

To this the Scholar said : " The primeval Origin of my Aves and 
Ataves was indigenous to the Lemovick Regions where requiesceth 
the Corpor of the hagiotat Saint MartiaL" 

" I understand right well," said Pantagruel ; " when all is said and 
done, 4 thou art a Limosin, and thou wilt here counterfeit the Parisian. 

* par forte Fortune = Lat. forU Fortuna. * Fr. pour tout potage. 


Well then, come hither, that I may give thee a Turn of the Curry- 
comb. " 

Then he took him by the Throat, saying to him: "Thou flayest 
the Latin ; by St. John, I will make thee flay the Fox, for I will flay 
thee alive." 

Upon this the poor Limosin began to cry: "Haw, gwid Maaster! 
Hoi Sant Marshaw 6 halp me. Ho, ho, let me bide, in the Lard's 
name, and dinna bang ma." 
v Whereupon Pantagruel said : " Now thou speakest naturally." 

And so he left him, for the poor Limosin bewrayed his Breeches 
throughout, which were made Cod-fish-tail fashion, 6 and not full- 
bottomed ; whereat Pantagruel said : " Saint Alipentin, 7 blow up below, 
what Civet 1 Devil take this Turnip-eater, 8 how he stinks ! " And so 
he let him go. 

But this was to him such a Terror all his life, and he had such 
a Thirst upon him, that he often said that Pantagruel held him by the 
Throat ; and after some Years he died a Roland's Death, 9 a Work of 
divine Vengeance, showing us that which is said by the Philosopher 
and Aulus Gellius, 10 that it becometh us to speak according to the 
Language in common Use, and, as Caesar 11 used to say, that we 
ought to shun all strange Words with as much Diligence as Pilots 
of Ships shun Rocks in the Sea. 

* St. Martial was the patron saint of morte se perire " (Champier, de re cibaria, 

the Limosins. lib. 16, c 5). 

9 a queue de merlu* ; L 8, 20. 10 Aulus Gellius, i. 10: "Favorinus 

7 Saint Alipentin, a saint of Rabelais 1 philosophus adulescenti veterum verborum 
invention. cupidissimo. . . . 'Vive ergo moribus 

8 turnip-eater, Fr. masche-rabe. This praeteritis, loquere verbis praesentibus, 
was a standing gibe against the Limosins. atque id quod a C. Caesare . . . scriptum 
Cf. Brantdme, Henry II. vol. iii. p. 286 est habe semper in memoria atque in 
(ed. Lalanne) : "Deux aussi scavans Lymo- pectore, ut tamquam scopulum sic fugias 

* » 

zins qui jamais mangearent et crocquarent inauditum atque insolens verbum. : 
raves." u Caesar is the reading of the first 

9 Roland's death. Roland is said to edition, and is evidently the right one. 

have died of thirst at Roncevalles. " Inde Later editions substitute Octavian Angus- 

nostri intolerabili siti et immiti volentes tus. M. des Marets is here followed in 

significare se torqueri, facete aiunt Rolandi retaining the earliest reading. 


How Pantagruel came to Paris ; and of the choice Books 

in the Library of Saint Victor 

After that Pantagruel had thoroughly studied at Orleans, he determined 
to visit the great University of Paris. But before his Departure, he was 
informed that there was an enormous big Bell 1 at St. Aignan in the 
said Town of Orleans, that had lain on the Ground the last two hundred 
and fourteen Years, for it was so huge that by no Device could they 
even raise it from the Ground, although they had applied all the means 
that are put down in Vitruvius de Architecture Albertus de Re acdifica- 
toria? Euclides, Theon, 8 Archimedes and Hero de Ingeniis ; 4 for all that 
served for no Purpose. 

Wherefore, condescending willingly to the humble Request of the 
Citizens and Inhabitants of the said Town, he determined to carry the 
Bell to the Tower destined for this Purpose. And so he came to the 
Place where it was, and lifted it from the Earth with his little Finger, as 
easily as you would a Hawk's BelL 

But before carrying it to the Bell-tower, Pantagruel wished to give 

1 The annalists of Orleans record that 
two large bells were given to the Church 
of Saint Aignan, one weighing 11,600 
pounds, given in 1039 by King Robert, 
and the other in 1466 by Louis XI. (M.) 

* Albertus. Leon Baptista de Albertis 
is here meant He was a Florentine 
architect (ti472), and a well-known 
writer on his subject (Regis). 

* Theon. There were two mathema- 
ticians of this name, who might be alluded 
to here. The first is Theon the elder, 
known as an arithmetician in the time 
of Hadrian. The second is Theon the 

younger of Alexandria, the father of 
Hypatia, who is most probably here 
meant, as he brought out an edition of 
Euclid, and moreover his scholia on 
Aratus were published among the Scrip- 
torts Astronomici Veteres by the Aldine 
Press in 1499. 

4 Hero must be Hero the younger of 
Alexandria, who lived 284-221 B.C., and 
wrote de Machinis Bellicis as it was pub- 
lished in Latin. Ingeniis is used in the 
modern English sense of "engines," engin 
being often used in Rabelais with the 
meaning of " device." 


them a Serenade with it through the City, and to ring it through all the 
Streets as he carried it in his Hand, at which every one greatly rejoiced ; 
but there came from it one very great Inconvenience, namely, that as he 
thus carried and rang it through the Streets, all the good Wine of Orleans 
turned 6 and was spoiled 

The people did not perceive this till the Night following, for every 
man found himself so thirsty from having drunk of these turned Wines, 
that they did nothing but spit as white as Maltese Cotton, 6 saying : " We 
» a. ii. a, n. 9. have got the * Pantagruel, and have our Throats salted." 

This done, he came to Paris with his People, and at his Entry all the 
World came out to see him, as you know well that the People of Paris 
is foolish by Nature, B sharp and £ flat, 7 and they looked upon him in 
great Astonishment, and not without great Fear, lest he should carry off 
b c£ L 17. the Palace elsewhere into some far-distant 8 Country, as his b Father had 
carried away the Bells of Notre-Dame to fasten on the Neck of his 

And after some space of Time that he had remained there, and studied 
very well in the Seven Liberal Arts, he said it was a good City to live 
• a. L 37, n. 4- in but not to die in, for the Graveyard Loiterers of c St. Innocent used 
^ to warm their Rumps with the Bones of the Dead. 

And there he found the Library of Saint Victor, 9 very magnificent, 
especially in some Books which he discovered there, of which followeth 
the Catalogue; andprtmo 

The Two-horsed Tackling of Salvation. 10 
The Cod-piece of Law. 
The Slipper of the Decretals. 
The Pomegranate of Vices. 
The Clew of Theology. 

5 Fr. poulsa. Poussi is still used of 9 Cf. Epistola Passavanti (p. 121, ed. 
wine that has fermented out of season Liseux) to Peter Lizet, Abbot of Saint 
through shaking and heat (M.) Victor : " Denique quod allegatis Damas- 

6 white as Cotton, cenum Alexandrum de Halles, Thomam, 

. . . Bonaventuram et Scotum : ipsi dicunt 

Je congnoys approcber mn soef l 

Je crache blanc comme cotton. <i uod tu «• **** di g nus cum MonachlS 

Villon Gd. Tat. 6a. tuis, qui consumas vitam tuam in istis 

foetidissimis latrinis, quibus est plena 

Falstaff says {2 Hen. IV. i. 2, 237) : " If Bibliotheca Sancti Victoris, sicut porcus 

it be a hot day, and I brandish anything in luto, quod tu es." 

but a bottle, I would I might never spit 10 Sermones dominieaUs a quodam 

white again." fratre Aungaro, biga salutis intitulati 

7 par bcquarre et bemol (Des Periers, (Hagenau 1498). Rabelais purposely 
Nov. 68). Cf. L 17. writes bigua for btgn, bigues being props, 

8 Lat. a remotis. etc., of a ship in dry dock. 




The Long Broom of Preachers, composed by Turlupin (Pepin, ed. 1533). 

The elephantine Cod of the Valiant 

The Henbane of the Bishops. 

Marmotrctus De Baboonis et Apis, cum commento de Orbellis. 11 

Decretum Unwersitatis Parisiensis super gorgiasitate 1 * Mulkrcularum 

ad placitum. 
The Apparition of St Geltrude 13 to a Nun of Poissy, being in Labour 

with Child. 
Ars honeste petandi in societateper M. Ortuinum. 1 * 
The Mustard-pot 16 of Penitence. 
The Gaiters, alias the Boots, of Patience. 
Formicarium Artium. 16 
De Brodiorum usu et honestate cAopinands] per Sylvestrcm Prieratem 

Jacobinum}* 1 
The Cuckold in Court 
The Basket of the Notaries. 
The Packet of Marriage. 
The Crucible of Contemplation. 
The Quillets of Law. 
The Goad of Wine. 
The Spur of Cheese. 
Dccrotatortum Scholartum?* 
Tartaretus de tnodo cacandi. 19 

"" u Marmotretus (i. 14), a book of moral 
maxims for children. Nicolas d'OrbeUes, 
a commentator on Petrus Lombardus. 

u gorgiasitate, from Yx,gorgt{ci. ii. 17). 
Cf. Charles d'Orleans, Rondeau 13 : 

Laissiez aler ces gorgias 
Chasctu yver a la pip£e, 
Vous verrez comme la gelle 
Reverdira lcurs estomaa. 

* u Geltrude, burlesque for Gertrude. 
The nuns of Poissy had a sinister reputa- 
tion in the respect here mentioned. 

14 Cf. Epist. Obsc. Virorum (L 40). 
Cf. iii. 16. This book, which appeared in 
1 5 16, written by Ulric van Hutten, is a 
collection of pseudo-epistles in barbarous 
monkish Latin, purporting to be addressed 
to Magister Ortuinus Gratius (Hardouin 
de Graetz), a doctor of Cologne, who was 
a violent opponent of the Humanists 
Erasmus, Reuchlin, etc. In it stand 

revealed the ignorance and debauchery of 
the monks. So excellent was the imita- 
tion of style that for some time the monks 
believed the letters to be genuine 

15 Mustard-pct y Fr. niottstardier {moult 
tarde) de penitence, 

16 Quoted by Bacon, De Augmentis Set, 
vi. I init. Formicarium is a book hold- 
ing up the ant as an example to Christians. 

17 Sylvester of Priero, near Savona, 
defended indulgences against Luther in 
1 5 18. He wrote a treatise on fasts called 
Summa Silvestrina; so Rabelais credits 
him with a treatise on the use of brewis 
and the propriety of hobnobbing. 

18 Decrotatorium Scholarium. A gibe 
at the uncleanliness of the regents and 
scholars. Cf. i. 18. 

19 Tartaret was a Sorbonist doctor 
mentioned in Etienne's Apologie pour 
Hirodote % c. 39, and the Contes cPEutra- 
pel, c. 26, as an ignorant fanatic. 


The Flourishes of Rome. 

Bricot De differentiis soupparum. 30 

The Tail-piece of Discipline. 

The Sandal of Humility. 

The Trivet of Good Thoughts. 

The Kettle of Magnanimity. 

The Puzzles of Confessors. 

The Vicars' Rap o' the Knuckles. 

Reverend/ Patris, Fratris Lubini,* 1 Frovincialis Bavardiae y De croquendis 
lardonibus libti tres. 

PasquUUJ* Doctoris Marmora] De Capreolis cum chardoneta comtdendis 
tempore Papali ab Ecclesia interdicio. 
—The Invention of the Holy Cross,* 8 with six Actors, played by the Clerks 
of Chicanery. 

The Spectacles of the Rome-seekers. 

Majoris M De tnodo faciendi boudinos. 

The Bag-pipe of the Prelates. 

Beda ** De optitnitaU triparum. 

The Complaint of the Advocates on the Reformation of their Sweet- 
meats. 26 

The Furred Cat of the Attorneys. 27 
4 Cf. i ProL Of d Peas and Bacon cum Commento. 

The Small Fees of Indulgences. 28 

Praeclarissimi Juris Utrhisqut Doctoris Magistri Pilloti Rauque-denarii, 
De bobelinandis Glossae Accursianae bagenaudis Repetitio enuci- 
luculidissima. * 

90 Bricot is probably Guillaume Bricot M Majoris. Jean Major, professor at 

of Epist. Obsc. Vir., with an allusion to Montagu College, a theologian of the 

his name = bouillon cuii. beginning of the 1 6th century. 

M Freres Lubins was the name given * Nod Beda, principal of Montagu 

by the Protestants to the Mendicants, from College, a fat doctor of the Sorbonne, 

their voracity. Lubin — sea-wolf. opponent of the Humanists. 

M Pasquin, the celebrated torso in Rome ^ * Sweetmeats {Ft. drakes). This refers 

on which pasquinades were affixed. It to the changing of presents in kind to the 

is mentioned in Rabelais' third letter lawyers into certain money-fees, 
from Rome to the Bishop of Maillezais. v Chat-fourri, from chaffourer = bar- 

The subject is "On eating Venison with bouiHer (blotting) du papier. Cf. v. 15. 
Artichokes in Lent" Cf. CL Marot, * Fr. prqfiterolle, i.e. the cake baked 

Coq a Pasne (1535) : under the ashes (allusion to Ash-Wednes- 

Mais Romme tandis bouffcra day) rolling up into profit during Lent. 
Des chcvreaux a la chardonnettc » Trans. A most lucidly unravelled 

n Most coins were stamped on one Repetition on pricking the bladders of the 

^ side with a cross ; the allusion, therefore, Glosses ofAccursius, by the most illustrious 

is to the sharpness of certain lawyers at Doctor of Laws, Master Pilferer Catch- 

finding money. penny. 

chap, vii PANTAGRUEL 239 

Stratagemata Franc-Archieri de Baignolet 80 

J?ranc-Topinus De re militari cumfiguris Tewti.* 1 

De usu et utilitate escorchandi equos et equas, authore Af. nostra de 

The Clownishness of the Village Judges. 
Af. N. Rosto-costo-jambe-danesse De moustarda post prandium servienda 

lib. quatuordecim, apostUati per Af. VaurriUonnis. 9 * 
The Wedding-fees of the Procurators. 84 
Jabolenus de Cosmographia Purgatorii. 
Quaestio subtHissima 9 utrum Chimaera in Vacuo bombinans possit comedere 

Secundas Intentiones % et fuit debatuta per decern hebdomadas in Con- 

cilio ConstantiensL 
The Voracity of the Advocates. 
Barbouillatnenta Scott'. 35 
The batswing Hats of the Cardinals. 

De calcaribus removendis decades undecimper Af. Albericutn de Rosata.* 
Ejusdem, De castrametandis crinibus lib. tres. 
The Entry of Antony de Leive into the Lands of Bresil. 87 
Afarforii}* Bacalaurii cubantis Romat\ de pelandis mascarandisque 

Cardinalium mulis. 
Apology of the said Author, against those who say that the Pope's Mule " 

doth not eat but at his Hours. 

The glosses of Imerius of Bologna, = culagium from colligere, and consisting 

who was succeeded by Accursius of of wedding presents given by the newly- 

Florence, were brief explanations of terms married. There may be also an oblique 

or sentences in the Roman or Civil Law. allusion to the Droit du Seigneur. 
Cf Mullinger, Hist. Univ. Comb. i. p. 37. * ue. the scrawlings of Duns Scotus. 

80 Le Franc'Archier de Bagnolet is a M The Decretals have the following 

poem sometimes attributed to Villon, and order for clerics : " Calcaribus deauratis 

quoted more than once by Rabelais. The non utantur." Alberic de Rosata of 

hero is represented as a ludicrous coward. Bergamo had written a commentary on 

Cf. iL 14, n. 13. the Decretals. 

u Franc - Topinus. Cf. L 35. Tevot v Antoine de Leyva, born at Navarre, 

occurs again in iii 8. one of the best generals of Charles V. 

n Quebec*. An allusion to Guillaume He drove away Bonnivet from Milan, and 

du Chesne (de Quercu), a commentator on won Pavia. He perished at the siege of 

St. Gregory. Erasmus has made the same Marseilles in 1536. This article does not 

pun in his Cdloquia, " Quercus concion- appear in the editions prior to that date, 

atur," etc. (Laoroxx). In some editions les terres des Grecs is 

a The allusion here is made to the read, alluding to the Greek colonists who 

commentaries of Angela de Gambellione of founded Marseilles. Bresil means " burnt 

Arena on Roman law; also to a com- up," referring to the ravaging of Provence, 
mentary of the Sentences by W. Vorilonge M Marforio was, like Pasquin, a statue 

of Lyons (1484) (Lacroix). in Rome, on which lampoons were affixed. 

M Couil/age, according to Du Cange » the Pope's Mule. Cf. I 5, v. 8. 


• ct L ao, n. 3. Pronosticatio quae incipit, Syhrii TriquebUle, balataper M. n. *Songtcrusioiu 
Boudarini) episccpi, De Etnulgcntiarum profeetibus enneades novem, cum 

prwilegio Papali ad triennium, ct postca non. 
The Airs and Graces of young Girls. 
The bald Pate of the Widows. 
The Wheeziness of the Monks. 

The Brimborium or Mumblings of the Celestine Fathers. 
^ The Passage-toll of the Manducants. 40 
The Teeth-clatter of the Fat Chuffs. 
The Rat-trap of the Theologians. 
The Boot-trees of the Masters of Arts. 
The Scullions of Occam with single Tonsure. 41 
Magistri N. Fripsaulcetis de Grabellatibnibus** Horarum Canonicarum 

lib. quadraginta. 
Culkbutatorium tt Confratariarum incerto authore. 
The Hood of the Gulligut Novices. 
The Goatish Smell of the Spaniards supercoquelicantiqued by Friar 

Inigo. 44 
The Wormwood of Pitiful Wretches. 
Poltronismus rerum Italicarum^ authore magistro Bruslefer. 45 
R. Lullius de batifolagiis principutn.* 
Callibistratorium Caffardiae authore M. Jacobo Hocstraten^ haeretico- 

metraS 1 
Chautcouillonis de Magistro-nostrandorum Magistro nostratorumque beu- 

vetis lib. octo galantissimi. 48 

40 A pun is intended between Manducity Church could establish a new article of 
and Mendicity^ referring to the gluttony faith (Lacroix). 

"and rapacity of the Mendicant Friars. ^ " Raymond Lullius, a doctor iUumina- 

41 William of Occam {doctor singularis), tus t born in Majorca 1234, author of the 
an English Franciscan in the beginning Ars magna. His pupils set up the 
of the 14th century, asserted the true value quackery of alchemy and the philosopher's 
of Nominalism, as Deduction leading to stone, which it was the batifolage or foolish 
Induction. Cf. Mullinger, Hist. Univ. quest of princes to rediscover. He died 
Comb. i. p. 189. in 1315. C£ ii. 8, n. 11. 

48 GrabellaHo, from Fr. grabeUr, to ex- * Trans. The Calibration of Hypocrisy 

amine carefully. by James Hocstraten, she- heretic -ganger. 

48 i.e. the overthrow (culbut) of the J. Hocstraten was a furious Dominican at 

Brotherhoods. Cologne. Cf. Epist. Obsc. Vtrorum. 

44 Frai Inigo means Ignatius Loyola, * Cf. Epist. Obsc. Vir. Li: " Et unus 

who was first known in Paris in 1528 quesivit utrum dicendum 'magister nos- 

with a following of unkempt Spaniards. trandus ' vel ' noster magistrandus ' pro 

46 Etienne Bruslefer, a Franciscan of persona apta nata ad fiendum doctor 

the time of Louis XL, who maintained in theologia." Beuvetis = Fr. buvettes, 

that neither Pope nor Councils nor the drinlring-shops. 

chap, vii PANTAGRUEL 241 

The Corrections of the Bullists, Copyists, Scriveners, Abbreviators, 

Notaries and Reporters, compiled by Regis. 49 
Perpetual Almanack for those that have the Gout and the Pox. 
Manerics ramonandi fournellos per M. Ecrium. 50 
The Packthread of Shopkeepers. 
The Comforts of the Monkish Life. 
The Galimaufry of Bigots. 
The History of the Hobgoblins. 61 
The Ragamuffinism of Old Pensioners. 
The Gulling Fibs of Commissaries. 
The Gold-beaters'-skin of the Treasurers. 
Badinatorium Sophistarum. h% 

Anti-pfri-cata-met-ana-par-beuge-d'amphi<ribrationts Mcrdicantium. 
The Rigmarole of Ballad-mongers. 
The Bellows of the Alchymists. 
The Nick-nock (conjuring tricks) of the Questing Friars, pocket-walleted 

by Friar Holdfast. 
The Shackles of Religion. 
The Grill of the lecherous Monks. 68 
The Elbow-prop of Old-age. 
The Muzzle of Nobility. 
The Apes' Paternoster. 
The Handcuffs of Devotion. 

The Pitiful Phiz of the Four Seasons (Ember weeks). 
The Mortifying-cap of Political Life. 
The Fly-flap of the Hermits. 

* Petarrades, according to Duchat, M Trans. The Tomfooleries of the 

means here the alterations slipped into Sophists. In the first editions, instead 

documents by copyists and others, of Sophistarum, Sorboniformium was 

Bullists, etc., are officers of the Chan- read, 
eery of the Court of Rome. Pierre ■ Fr. La Racquette des BrimbalUurs. 

Regis was a native of Montpellier, a Duchat, followed by Lacroix, takes it to 

great preacher and zealot of the 16th mean the grill or lattice in a convent 

century. which separates the monks from the 

00 Maneries (Low Lat = Modus. Cf. nuns. Racquet not improbably signi- 

Du Cange). Tx. The manner of sweeping fied the framework of the hand or 

Flues. Eccius was a German theologian foot {carpus, tarsus), and was used * 

.who vigorously maintained the "purga- first for the hand, with which the jeu 

tory fires " against Luther. de paume or tennis was played, and 

u This refers to the knavery of the afterwards for the stringed instrument 

Franciscans at Orleans. Cf. iii. 23. It that took its place. In the present 

occurred in 1533, and therefore is not connexion then it would mean any 

in the list of the first edition of latticed opening. 





BOOK 11 

The Head-gear 64 of the Penitentiaries. 
The Back-gammon of the Knocking Friars. 
Lourdaudus De vita et honestate Braguardoruitu 
Liripipii Sorbonici Moralisationes^ per M. LupoldumJ* 
Travellers' Knick-knacks. 
The Topings of the tippling Bishops. 
Tarraballatiorus Doctorum Colonensium adversus Reuchlin}* 
The Cymbals of the Ladies. 
The Martingale of the Dungers. 
Virevoustorium Nacquettorum per F. PedebilletisP 
The Cobbler's Cries of a Stout heart. 
The Mummery of the Robin-goodfellows. 
Gerson De auferibilitate Papae ab Eedesia. 66 
The Glissade of the Nominees and Graduates. 

Jo. Dytenbrodii De terribilitate Exeommunicationum libellulus auphalos. 
Ingeniositas invocandi Diabolos et Diabolas per Af. Guinguol/um. 60 
The Hodge-podge of the perpetual Mendicants. 
The Morisco-dance of the Heretics. 60 
The Old wives' Fables of Gaietanus. 61 
MoilUgroin doctoris Chtrubici De origin* Patepelutarum et Toriicollorum 

ritibus lib. septem. 9 * 
Sixty-nine fat Breviaries. 

84 BarbutCy a sort of hood covering the 
face, pierced with holes for the eyes. They 
are often to be seen in processions in 
Rome and elsewhere. 

88 Liripipium (i. 1 8) is properly the 
pig-tail of a graduate's hood, here moral- 
ised upon — as were Homer and Ovid, and 
even the parts of a priest's dress, such as 
the stole, chasuble, etc — by Lupoldus, a 
doctor in theology at Cologne. 

88 John Reuchlin (Grecised into Cap- 
nion) was one of the Humanists so strongly 
opposed by the Cologne doctors. Cf. 
Epist. Obs. Vir. t passim, I 509- 1 516. A 
converted Jew named Pfefferkorn tried 
to persuade the magistrates to deprive 
the Jews of all Hebrew books except 
the Bible. Reuchlin opposed this 

* Trans. The Teetotum of the Tennis- 
^Markers by Friar Whirligi g. 

88 Jean Gerson, a Celestine, doctor of 
the Sorbonne and Chancellor of the Uni- 

versity of Paris, was deputed in 1414 to 
the Council of Constance. On the occa- 
sion of the squabble of the Anti- Popes 
Gregory and Benedict XIII. against John 
XXII., he published the treatise here 

89 Gingulfus is the name of a Breton 
saint Naudaeus mentions a German 
of that name who wrote theological 

00 Morisco-dance here means the strap- 
pado used in the case of the Lutherans, * 
who were jerked up on a rope and then 
let fall into the fire. 

81 HeniUts = Anilia (Duchat). Gate- 
tonus, a cardinal, author of a treatise De 
auctoritate Papae et ConciliL 

68 The Cherubic doctors, in allusion to 
the sanctity and great understanding of 
certain divines, also to their fiery faces. 
The Pate-pelues and Torticollis (cf. i. 54) 
are the Hairy -handed Jacobs and Wry- 
necked impostors, the Franciscans. 



The Gaude Maria w of the Five Orders of Mendicants. 

The Skin of the Tirelupins (Heretics) extracted from the yellow Boot 

incornifistibulated in the Summa Angelica.** 
The Doter in Cases of Conscience. 
The Fat Paunch of the Presidents. 
The Jobbernowl of the Abbots. 
Sutoris** adversus qucmdam qui vocaverat turn friponnatorcm y et quod 

friponnatores non sunt damnati ab EccUsia. 
Cacatorium Medicorum. 
The Chimney-sweeper of Astrology. 
Campi Cfysteriorum per S. C. M 
The Wind-drawer of the Apothecaries. 
The Kiss-breech of Surgery. 
Justinianus De cagotis tottendis? 1 
Antidotarium Animae.* 8 
Merlinus Coccaius de Patria Diabolorum?* 

Of these Books, some are already printed, and the others are now 
being printed in this noble City of Tubingen. 70 

a Gaude Maria, an anthem chanted 
before or after meat; it may mean the 
paunches of the monks, or again gode* 
mare = cauchemar, nightmare. 

64 This refers to the punishment of 
putting the legs of heretics in parchment 
boots, which, being brought near the fire, 
took off the skin with excruciating pain. 
Summa Angelica are the writings of St. 
Thomas Aquinas, the Doctor Angelicus. — 
Incornifistibulated. Disincomifistibulaied 
occurs in iv. 15. 

68 Sutor = Pierre Couturier, a Car- 
thusian, whom Erasmus had accused of 
friponnerie (rascality). 

m S. C = Sy mphorien Champier, phy- 

sician to Antoine, Duke of Lorraine, who 
had written a treatise bearing this title. 

m A parody of the _ title de caducis 
tollendis (Cod. Vi. tit 51), and also an 
allusion to a law of Justinian, de mendi- 
cantibus validis (Cod. xi. tit. 25). 

08 A book of prayers by Nicholas 
Saliceti, an abbe* in the diocese of Strass- 
burg. Antwerp 149a 

m Theophilo Folengo (Merlin Coccai) 
does actually describe the lower world in 
his last three Macaronics (23-25). C£ 
iii. 11. 

70 At Tubingen were printed Lutheran 
books and others that were forbidden in 


How Pantagruel, being at Paris, received a Letter from his 
Father Gargantua, and the Copy thereof 

Pantagruel studied very hard, as you may well understand, and 
profited accordingly; for he had an Understanding of a double 
Capacity, 1 and a Retentiveness of Memory equal to the Measure of 
twelve Bags 2 and Butts of OiL While he was thus abiding there, he 
received one day a Letter 8 from his Father after the manner that 
here followeth : 

" Most dear Son, 

" Among the Gifts, Graces and Prerogatives, with which the 
sovereign Creator, 4 God almighty, has endowed and adorned Human 
Nature at its Commencement, that one appears to me singular and 
excelling, by which we can in our mortal Estate acquire a kind of 
Immortality, and in the Course of this transitory Life perpetuate our 
Name and Stock ; which is done by Lineage from us issuing in lawful 
Wedlock. 6 Whereby in a way is renewed over again to us that which 
was taken from us by the Sin of our first Parents; to whom it was 
said that, because they had not been obedient to the Commandment 
of God the Creator, they should die, ai\d that by Death should be 
brought to Nought that stately Form in which Man had been created 

"But by this means of seminal Propagation, there continueth in 

1 Fr. h double rebras (iv. ^festoyi et 
accolli &. d. r. ). Rtbras was the part of a 
sleeve or garment that was turned back. 

* Fr. pyres = outre (Lat. titer). 

8 Fr. lettres=lxt. litterae=& letter. 

4 Fr. plasmateur (Gr. xXcur/ua). 

5 Cf. Hooker, Eccl Pol I. v. 2 : "The 
first degree of goodness is that general 

perfection which all things do seek in 
desiring the continuance of their being. 
All things therefore coveting as much as 
may be to be like unto God in being 
ever, that which cannot hereunto attain 
personally doth seek to continue itself 
another way, that is by offspring and 

chap, viii PANTAGRUEL 245 

the Children that which had been lost to the Parents, and to the - 
Grandchildren 6 that which perished in the Children, and set on 
successively till the Hour of the last Judgment, when Jesus Christ 
shall have rendered up to God the Father His Kingdom in Peace, out 
of all Danger and Contamination of Sin; for then shall cease all 
Generations and Corruptions, and the Elements shall be free from 
their continuous Transmutations, seeing that the Peace so much 
desired shall be consummated and perfected, and that all Things shall _ 
be brought to their End and Period. 

" And therefore, not without just and reasonable Cause, do I return s 
Thanks to God my Preserver, for that He hath enabled me to see my 
hoary 7 Eld flourish again in thy Youth; for when, by His good 
Pleasure, who rules and governs Everything, my Soul shall leave this 
mortal Habitation, I shall not account myself wholly to die, but to 
pass from one Place to another ; considering that in thee and by thee 
I abide in my visible Likeness in this World, living, seeing and con- 
versing with People of Honour and my Friends, as I was wont to do. 
Which Conversation of mine has been, by means of the Help and 
Grace of God, not without Sin, I confess — for we all sin and continually 
beseech God to blot out our Sins — but without Reproach. 

"Wherefore, i£ as in thee abideth the Likeness of my Body, the- 
Qualities of the Soul did not in like manner shine forth, men would not 
consider thee to be the Guardian and Treasure-house of the Immortality 
of our Name ; and small would be the Pleasure I should take in seeing 
this, when I considered that the lesser Part of me, which is the Body, 
would abide, and the better Part, which is the Soul, and that by which 
our Name continues blessed amongst Men, would be degenerate and 
bastardised. And this I say, not from any Distrust I have of thy Virtue, 
which hath been already before approved by me, but to encourage 
thee still more earnestly to proceed from good to better. And that 
I write to thee at this present, is not so much to the end that thou 
mayest live in this virtuous Course, as that in so living and having] 
lived thou shouldest rejoice, and strengthen thyself in like Resolution fori - 
the Time to come. 

" For the Perfecting and Consummation of this Enterprise, thou 
mayest easily remember how that I have spared nothing, but so have 
helped thee thereunto, as though I had had no other Treasure in this 
World but to see thee once in my Life finished and perfect, in Virtue, 
Honour and Valour, as well as in every liberal and honourable Know- 

6 Fr. ncpveux=\j*X. nepotes. 7 Fr. cbanut =Lait. canuta (Du Cange). 


"~" ledge, and to leave thee after my Death as a Mirror representing the 
Person of me thy Father, and if not as excellent and such in Deed 
as I do wish thee, yet certainly such in my Desire. 

" But although my deceased Father, Grandgousier, of happy Memory, 
had devoted all his Efforts to make me profit in all Perfection of political 
Knowledge, and although my Labour and Study was well corresponding 
to, nay even went beyond his Desire ; nevertheless, as thou mayest well 
understand, the Times were not so fit and proper for Learning as they 
now are, and I had no Supply 8 of such Preceptors as thou hast had. 

" That Time was darksome and savouring of the Misery and Calamity 

wrought by the Goths, who had entirely destroyed all good Literature ; 

but by Divine Goodness, its own light and Dignity has been in my 

Lifetime restored to Letters, and I see such Amendment therein, 

that at present I should hardly be admitted into the first Class of 

the little Grammar-boys, although in my youthful Days I was reputed, 

not without Reason, as the most learned of that Age. And this I 

say not from any Vain -boasting, although it might be commendable 

* Cic CatoMaj. to do so in writing to thee — for thou hast the Authority of * Marcus 

VpiuL^j^ Tullius in his Book on Old-Age, and the Judgment of b Plutarch in 

544 * the Book entitled : " How a man may praise himself without Reproach " 

— but to inspire thee with Emulation to strive still higher. 

" But now all Methods of Teaching are restored ; the Study of the 
Languages renewed — Greek (without which it is a Disgrace for a man 
to style himself a Scholar), Hebrew, Chaldean, Latin; Impressions 
of Books most elegant and correct are in use through Printing, which 
has been invented in my time by Divine Inspiration, as on the other 
side, Artillery has been invented by Devilish Suggestion. 9 

"All the World is full of knowing Folk, of most learned Preceptors, 
of most extensive Libraries, so that I am of Opinion that neither in 
the time of Plato nor Cicero nor Papinian 10 was there ever such 
lonveniencv for Study as is seen at this time . Nor must any hereafter 
adventure himself in Public or in any Company, who shall not have 
L been well polished in the Workshop of Minerva. I do see Robbers, 
Hangmen, Freebooters, Grooms, of the present Age more learned than 
the Doctors and Preachers of my Time. 

8 Fr. copie—\aX. copia. catus fisci under Antoninus and Severus, 

9 Cf. Milton, P. 470-522 ; Ariosto, and afterwards libellorum magister and 
Orl. Fur. ix. st. 91 ; Don Quiz. i. 38. pratfutus praetorio. There are manyex- 

10 Papinian (140-212 a.d.)> an cerpts from Papinian's writings in the 
eminent Roman jurist in the times of Digest, He is also cited by Paulus and 
Antoninus Pius and Septimius Severus, Ulpian, and his Quaestioncs t Rcsponsa, 
put to death by Caracalla. He was Advo- Definitiones % etc. , were edited by Cujas. 


chap, vin PANTAGRUEL 247 

"What shall I say? Women and young Girls have aspired to 
this Praise and celestial Manna of good Learning. So much is this *- 
the case, that at my present Age I have been constrained to learn the 
Greek Tongue, whidi I had not contemned like c Cato, but which piut. Cat. 
I had not had Leisure to leam in my Youth; and I do willingly ajc - a * 
delight myself in reading the Morals of Plutarch, the fine Dialogues of 
Plato, the Monuments of Pausanias and the Antiquities of Athenaeus, 
whilst I wait for the Hour when it shall please God, my Creator, to ^ 
call me and command me to depart from this Earth. 

"Wherefore, my Son, I admonish thee to employ thy Youth in*L 
making good Progress in thy Studies and in Virtue. Thou art at 
Paris, and thou hast Epistemon to thy Preceptor, so that the one can 
indoctrinate thee by lively and oral Instruction, the other by praise- 
worthy Examples. ' 

"It is my Intention and Desire that thou leam the Languages ^ 
perfectly; first the Greek, as d Quintilian will have it, secondly the d Quint. /«**. 
Latin, and then the Hebrew, for the sake of the Holy Writings, and 
the Chaldaic and Arabic likewise ; and that thou form thy Style, as to 
the Greek, in imitation of Plato, and as to the Latin, of Cicero. Let 
there be no History which thou hast not ready in thy Memory, where* 
unto shall aid thee the Cosmography of those who have written thereon. 

" Of the liberal Arts, Geometry, Arithmetic and Music, I gave thee 
some Taste when thou wert yet little, of the Age of five or six Years ; 
proceed to leam what remains, and of Astronomy leam all the Rules ; . 
but leave, I pray you, divining Astrology and the Art of Lullius, 11 as / 
being Cheats and Vanities. ' 

"Of Civil Law, I would have thee know by Heart the admirable 
Texts, and compare them with Philosophy. / 

"And as to the Knowledge of the Works of Nature, I would have 
thee devote thyself to its exact!5tudy7 "so That'Ttere-be no Sea, River 
nor Fountain, of which thou dost not know the Fishes ; all the Fowls 
of the Air, all the Trees, Shrubs and Evergreens of the Forests, all 
the Herbs of the Earth, all the Metals hidden in the Womb of the 
Abysses, the precious Stones throughout the East and the South — let 
nothing be unknown to thee. 

"Then carefully go over again the Books of the Greek, Arabian 
and Latin Physicians, not despising the Talmudists and Cabalists; 
and by frequent Dissections get thee the perfect Knowledge of the 

u Lullius. Cf. ii. 7, n. 46. C. Agrippa 9th) of his de Vanitate Scientiarum to 
of Nettesheim devotes a short chapter (the disparaging Lullius (de arte Lulli). 




other World, 18 which is Man. And at some Hours of the Day begin to 

attend to the Holy Scriptures ; first in Greek, the New Testament and 

the Letters of the Apostles, and then the Old Testament in Hebrew. 

v " In briefi let me see thee an Abyss of Knowledge ; for hereafter, 

when thou becomest a Man and growest great, thou must needs come 

forth from this Tranquillity and Repose of Study; thou must learn 

. Chivalry and Warfare, to defend my House, and succour our Friends 

J\ in alTffierr-Needs, against the Assaults of Evil-doers. 

"Moreover, I wish that shortly thou make Trial how much thou 
hast profited, which thou canst not better do than by trying Conclusions 
in all Knowledge, publicly with all and against all, 18 and by frequenting 
the Company of Learned men who are at Paris, as well as elsewhere. 
• wisdom of " But, because (according to the wise e Solomon) Wisdom entereth 
u 4 * «• not into a malicious Soul, and Science without Conscience is but the 
Ruin of the Soul, it behoveth thee to serve, love and fear God, and 
in Him to put all thy Thoughts and all thy Hope, and to cleave to 
Him by Faith formed Of Charity, so that thou mayest never be 
separated from Him by Sin. 

" Hold in Suspicion the Deceits of the World. Set not thy Heart 
on Vanity ; for this Life passeth away, but the Word of the Lord 
endureth for ever. Be serviceable to all thy Neighbours and love 
them as thyself. Revere thy Preceptors. Flee from the Company 
of those whom thou wouldest not resemble, and receive not in vain 
- v the Graces which God hath given thee. 

"And when thou shalt perceive that thou hast attained unto all 
the Knowledge that is acquired in those parts, return unto me, that I 
may see thee and give thee my Blessing before I die. 

" My Son, the Peace and Grace of Our Lord be with thee. Amen. 
" From Utopia this seventeenth day 
of the month of March. 

" Thy Father, 

" Gargantuan 

This Letter having been received and read, Pantagruel took fresh 
Courage, and was inflamed with a Desire to profit more than ever; 
insomuch that, had you seen him study and progress, you would have 
said that his Spirit among his Books was like Fire among Heather ; 
so indefatigable was it and ardent. 

u other World, i.e. the Microcosm. and made a great stir in the time of 

u The famous Picus de Mirandola Rabelais. C£ also ii. io, and the 
thus maintained theses de omni scibili Appendix. 





How Paniagruel found Panurge} whom he loved all his Life 

One day, as Pantagruel was taking a Walk without the City towards the 
Abbey of St. Antony, 9 discoursing and philosophising with his People and 
some Scholars, he met a Man of a handsome Figure and elegant in all 
the Lineaments of his Body, butjritiably wounded in divers Places, and 
in such Disarray that he seemed to have escaped from the Dogs ; or 
rather he resembled an a Apple-gatherer of the Country of Perche. • cf. ffi. PwL 

As far off as he could see him, Tantagruel said to his Companions : 
" Do you see that Man, who is coming along, the Road from the b Charen- * cf . L 94, n. & 
ton Bridge ? By my Faith, he is only poor in Fortune, for I assure you 
that, by his Physiognomy, Nature hath produced him from some rich and 
noble Stock, but the Adventures that do befall People given to Research 
have reduced him to his present Penury and Indigence." 

And so, as he came right upon them, he asked him : " My Friend, 
I beg you to be good enough to stay here a little and answer me what I 
shall ask you, and I am sure you will not repent it ; I have a very great 
Desire to give you Aid to the best of my Power in the Calamity in which 
I see you ; for you move me to great Pity. Wherefore, my Friend, tell 
me Who you are ? Whence you come ? Whither are you going ? What 
you seek ? and What is your Name ? 

The Companion answered him in the German Tongue : 8 

1 Panurge, like nearly all Rabelais 1 
characters, is from the Greek, in con- 
formity with his Hellenistic tendencies. 
The actual name Panurgus occurs in 
Cicero {pro Rose, Com, c 10, § 27), and 
is well deserved here by the bearer, who 
proves sly and unscrupulous to a degree, 
but almost as diverting as Falstaff, some 
of whose characteristics be shares. 

1 The Abbey of St Antoine was 
founded in 1198, and is now replaced by 
the hospital of the same name. The Court 
in the time of Rabelais was in the Palace 
des Tournelles ; a walk in this quarter 
would be very natural. 

• The thirteen speeches made by Pan-I 
urge in German, Unknown language,! 
Italian, English, Basque, Lantern -Ian- 




"Junker, Gott gib euch Gliick und Heil suvor. Ueber Junker, ich 
lass euch wissen doss da ihr von mirfragt, ist tin arm und erbarmlich 
Ding, und wer hat viel davon zu sagen, welches euch verdrusslich zu hbren 
und mir zu erzdhlen ware, wiewohl die Poeten und Oratoren vorzeiten 
haben gesagt in ihren Spruchen und Sentenzen, doss die Geddchtniss des 
Elends und Armuth vorldngst erlitten ist cine grosse Lust" 

To this answered Pantagruel : " My Friend, I do not understand this 
Jargon: wherefore, if you wish to be understood, speak another 
Language.' 1 

Then the Companion answered him : 

" Albarildim gotfano deck nun brin alabo dordin falbroth ringuam 
albaras. Nin porth zadikim almucathin milko prin al elmin enthoth dal 
heben ensouim ; kuthim al dum aJkatim nim broth dechoth porth min 
michais im endoth, pruch dal maisoulum hoi moth dansrilrim lupaldas im 
voldemoth. Nin hur diavosth mnarbotim dal gousch pal frapin duch im 
scoth pruch galeth dal Chinon min Joulchrich al conin butathen doth dal 

"Do you understand anything there?" said Pantagruel to the 
Company. To this Epistemon said: "I believe it is the Language 
of the Antipodes, and the Devil himself could not get his Teeth 
into it 1 ' Then said Pantagruel : " Gossip, I know not whether 
the Walls will understand you, but of us not a Soul understands a 

Then said the Companion : 

" Signor mid, voi vedete per essempio che la cornamusa non suona mat 
fella non ha il ventre pieno : cos\ to parimente non vi saprei contare le mie 
fortune, se prima il tribulato ventre non ha la solita rcfcttione. Al quale 
e adviso che le mani e li denti abbianoperso il lore ordine naturale e \sond\ 
del tutto annichillati" 

To this answered Epistemon: "As much of the one as of the 

Then said Panurge : 

"My Lord, if you be as virtuous of Intelligence as you are naturally 
relieved to the Body, you should have Pity on me: for Nature hath made 
us equal, but Fortune hath some exalted and some deprived ; nevertheless 

I guage, Dutch, Spanish, old Danish, 
Hebrew, Greek, French patois, Latin, 
all amount to much the same, namely, an 
u rgentj ayicaLforfood This incident in 
Panurge's life hasT5een worked up into a 
story and attributed to Rabelais himself, 

without much probability. Several 
pseudo - ancedotes about Rabelais have 
been furbished up from a similar source. 
4 This is undecipherable. Some com- 
mentators have supposed that it is Arabic, 
but wrongly. 




Virtue is often despised and Virtuous men depressed: for before the last 
End none is good" 6 

" Still less," replied Pantagruel. 

Then said Panurge : 

"Jona andie, guaussa goussy etan behar da erremedio beharde, versela 
ysser Ian da. Anbates, ottoyyes nausu, eyn essassu gourr ay proposian 
ordine den. Non yssena bayta fascheria egabe, gen herassy badia sadassu 
noura assia. Aran hondovan gualde eydassu nay dassuna. Estou oussyc 
eguinan soury hin er darstura eguy harm. Genicoa plasar vadu" 6 

"Are you there," answered Eudemon, "Genicoa?" (Je n'y sois). 

At this said Carpalim : " Saint Treignan, thou beest Scotchy, or I 
failed to understand" 

Then answered Panurge : 

" Prug /rest frinst sorgdmand strochdt drhds pag brlelang Gravot 
Chavygny Pomardiere rusth phallhdracg Deviniere pres Nays, SeuillS 
Kalmuc monach drupp del meupplis trincq drlnd dodelb up drent loch 
mine stzrincq jald de vins ders cordelis burjocst stzampenards" r 

To this said Episteraon : " Do you speak Christian, my Friend, or 
Patelin Language ? No, it is Lantern Language." 

Then said Panurge : 

" Heere, ik en spreeke anders gun tale dan kersien taale ; my dunkt 
nochtans al en zegik u niet een woord mijnen nood verklaart genoeg wat 
ik begeere: geefmy uit bermhertigheid net waar van ik gevoed mag zijn" 

To this answered Pantagruel : " As much of that." 

Then said Panurge : 

"Setter, de tanto hablaryo son cansado. Por que supplico a Vuestra 
Reverentia que mire a los preceptos Evangelicos, para que ellos muevan 
Vuestra Reverentia a lo que es de conscientia, y, si ellos non bastaren, para 
mover Vuestra Reverencia a piedad, supplico que mire a la piedad natural, 
la qualyo creo que le movera como es de razon : y con esto non digo mas" 

To this replied Pantagruel : " Verily, my friend, I make no manner 
of Doubt that you know well how to speak divers Languages, but tell us 
what you wish in some Language that we can understand" 

Then saith the Companion : 

* The actual text in the edition of 
1542 is as follows: "Lard, ghest tholb 
be sua virtiuss be Intelligence as yi Body 
schall biss be naturall relvtht, tholb suld 
of me pety have, for Nature hass ulss 
egualy maide ; bot Fortune sum exaltit 
hess and oyis deprevit Non ye less viois 
mou virtius deprevit and virtiuss men 

descrivis ; for anen ye lad end iss non 

6 This has been shown to be Basque. 

7 This seems to be an assemblage of 
words invented by Rabelais. There is a 
stanza of Lantern-language at the end of 
iii. 48 in which the words bear some sort 
of resemblance to this. 

252 / THE WORKS OF RABELAIS book ii 

"Myn Herre, endog jeg med ingen tunge talede, ligeson born, oc uskel- 
lige creature; Mine Kloedebon, oc mit legotns magerhed udviser alligevel 
klarlig hvad ting mig best behof gioris, som er sandelig mad oc drickt: 
Hvorfor forbarme dig over mig oc befal at give mig noguet of hvilcket jig 
kandstyre min gioendis mage, ligerviis som man Cerbero en suppe forsetter. 
Saa skal du lefve locnge oc lycsalig" 8 

"I believe," said Eusthenes, "that this is the way the Goths spoke, 
and, if God so pleased, we should thus speak if we spoke backwards." 

Then said the Companion : 

" Adoni scholom lecha: im ischarharob hal habdeca bemeherah thithen 
li kikar lehem cham cat/tub. Laah al Adonai cho nen rdl. n 9 

To this answered Epistemon : " Now, I understand very well, for it 
is the Hebrew tongue most rhetorically pronounced." 

Then said the Companion : 

" Despota toinun panagathe dioti su moi ouk artodatis f Horas gar 
limo analiscomenon erne athlion kai en to metaxu erne ouk eleis oudamos 
zetis de par emou ha ou chre. Kai homos philologoi pantes homologoust 
tote logous te kai rhemata peritta huparchein hopote pragma auto pasi 
delon esti. Entha gar anankei monon logoi eisin hina pragmata (hon 
peri amphisbetoumen) me prosphoros epiphanetai" 

"Why," said Carpalim, Pantagruers Lacquey, "it's Greek; I under- 
stood it" " How ? Hast thou lived in Greece ? " 

Then said the Companion : 

" Agonou dont oussoys vou denaguez algarou : nou den farou zamist 
vous mariston ulbrou, fousquez vou brol tarn bredaguez moupreton den 
goul houst, daguez daguez nou croupys fost bardounnoflist nou grou. 
Agou paston tol nalprissys hourtou los ecbatanous prou dhouguys brol 
panygou den bascrou noudous caguons goulfren goul oust trop passou" 10 

" I fancy I understand it," said Pantagruel ; " for it is either the 
Language of my^g ountry Utopia , or certainly it resembles it in Sound." 
And, as he was about to begin some Discourse, the Companion said : 

"Jam toties vosper Sacra perque Deos Deasque omnes obtestatus sum, ut 
si qua vos pittas permovet, egestatem meam solaremim] nee hilum proficio 
damans et ejulans. Sinite, quaeso, sinite viri impii, quo me Fata vocant 
abire, nee ultra vanis interpellationibus obtundatis, memores veteris illius 
adagii quo Venter famelicus auriculis carere dicitur." u 

"But really, my Friend," said Pantagruel, "cannot you speak French?" 

8 This is old Danish. u Venter famelicus. Plut Cato Maj. 

9 This is very nearly Hebrew. c 8 : xoXerfe' rp6s yaartpa Xfyeur Srra 

10 This is uncertain, possibly some oix *xowra*. C£ ii. 15, iv. 63. 
French patois. 

chap, ix PANTAGRUEL 253 

" That I can do very well, sir," answered the Companion, " Heaven 
be praised It is my natural Language and Mother-tongue, for I was 
born and bred in my young Days in the Garden of France, Touraine." 

" Then," said Pantagruel, " tell us what is your Name and where you 
come from, for, by my Faith, I have taken so great an Affection for you 
that if you will hearken unto my Will, you shall never stir from my Side, 
and you and I will make a new Pair of Friends, such as were Aeneas 

and Achates. "" 

" Sir," said the Companion, " my true and proper Name of Baptism is 
Panurge, and at present I come from Turkey, where I was taken Prisoner, 
when they went to Mitylene M in an evil Hour, and I will relate to you 
most willingly my Fortunes, which are more marvellous than those of 
Ulysses ; but since it is your Pleasure to retain me with you — and I do 
most heartily accept the Offer, protesting never to leave you, even should 
you go to all the Devils in Hell — we shall have, at some other more 
convenient Season, Leisure enough to give Account of them ; for at this 
present I have a very ur gent Necessity to feed Whetted Teeth, empty 
Belly, parched Throat, ravenous Appetite, all are set upon it. If you 
will only set me to work, it will be a Treat to you to see me tuck in. In 
Heaven's name, give Order for it." 

Then Pantagruel commanded that they should take him home and 
set before him good Store of Victuals. This was done, and he ate right 
well that Evening, and went to bed like a Capon, 18 and slept till Dinner- 
time the next Day, so that he only made three Steps and a Jump from 
Bed to Table. 

u Mitylene. In 1502, being a jubilee Turks, who took thirty -two prisoners 

year, a papal bull ordered a crusade (among whom Panurge represents bim- 

against the Turks, whose fleet had self) and forced them to raise the siege 

appeared before Venice. The French (Duchat). 

besieged Mitylene, but were betrayed u en ckappon, i.e. quite early, imme- 

by the Venetians and defeated by the diately after supper. 


How Pantagruel equitably decided a Controversy that was 

marvellously obscure and difficult, so justly that his 

Judgment was styled most admirable * 

Pantagruel, well remembering his Father's Letter and Admonitions, 
wished one day to make Trial of his Knowledge. 

Accordingly in all the Crossways of the City he put up Conclusions 
to the Number of nine thousand seven hundred and sixty-four l in all 
manner of Knowledge, touching in them on the most debated Points in 
all Sciences. 

And first of all in Litter-street, 2 he held Dispute against all the 
Regents, Students in Arts, and Orators, and put them all on their Beam- 
ends. Afterwards in the Sorbonne, he disputed against all the Theo- 
logians for the space of six Weeks, from four o'Clock in the Morning 
till six in the Evening ; except two hours 1 Interval to take his Repast 
and to refresh himself, t 

And at this were present the greatest part of the Lords of the Court, 
Masters of Requests, Presidents, Counsellors, those of the Accounts, 
Secretaries, Advocates and others ; together with the Sheriffs of the said 
City, with the Physicians and Professors of the Canon-law. And note 
that of these the greater part took the Bit in their Teeth ; but, not- 

* ABC read//** admirabU que celuy de Salomon, 

t AB add turn quit engardast Usdits Theologiens et Sorbonicquet de ckopiner et se rejfrmckxr A 
leur buvettes accouttumie* ; and throughout the chapter Sorbomu and thiologietu have been replaced 
by sophist*. 

1 Pico della Mirandola in the winter its name because straw served them for 

of 1486-7 offered to maintain at Rome 900 beds and furniture. Dante says in Par. x. 

theses de omni scibili ; il 18. 137 : 

*rue de la Feurre (near the Place ^ luce etenm di sigieri< 

Maubert) was the street in Paris where Che, leggendo nel vico dtgli strami, 

the poorer students used to lodge. It got SUlogiuo invidiosi vcri. 




withstanding their ergots and Fallacies, he put them all to Confusion, 8 
and showed them visibly that they were nothing but Calves in Petti- 

Hereupon all the World began to noise it abroad, and to speak 
of his so marvellous Knowledge, even the good Women, Laundresses, 
Brokers, Roast-meat-sellers, Penknife-sellers, and others, who, when he 
passed along the Streets, would say: " That is He "; 4 at which he took 
Pleasure, as did * Demosthenes, the Prince of the Greek Orators, when 
a crooked old Woman, pointing him out with her Finger, said : " That is 
the Man." 

Now at this very time, there was a Suit pending in the Court 
between two great Lords, of whom one was called my Lord Kissbreech, 
Plaintiff on the one Part, the other my Lord Suckfizzle, Defendant on 
the other Part ; whose Controversy was so high and difficult in Law, that 
the Court of Parliament understood therein no more than High Dutch. 

Wherefore, by the Command of the King were assembled four of the 
most learned and fattest from all the Parliaments in France, and all the 
principal Regents of the Universities, not only of France but also of 
England and Italy, such as Jason, 5 Philippus Decius, 6 Petrus de Petroni- 
bus and a Rabble of other old Rabanists. 7 Thus assembled for the 
space of forty-six Weeks, they had not been able to get their Teeth into 
it, or clearly to understand the Case, to put it to rights in any way what- 
ever, whereat they were in such Despite that they most villainously 
bewrayed themselves for Shame. 

But one among them named du Douet, 8 the most learned, the most 
expert and prudent of them all, one day when they were all philogro- 
bolised in their Brain said to them : 

" My Masters, now for this long while we have been here, without 
doing anything but waste Time, and we can find neither Shore nor 
Bottom in this Matter, and the more we study therein the less we under- 
stand of it, which to us is a great Disgrace and Burden on our Con- 

• Cic Tuse. D. 
v. § 103. 

8 quinaulx. Formerly the derivation 
given was from quin, an ape ; Littre' de- 
rives it from quint (Lat.)> the five fingers 
outspread from the cheek in the gesture 
known as quint-mint. It occurs also in 

I 13. 

4 Cf. " At pulcrum est digito monstrari 

et dicier, Hie est " (Pers. L 28). 

JaspHy called Denores, a jurisconsult 
at Padua at the end of the 15th century, 
and preceptor of Decius. 

• Dedtts, professor of law at Pisa and 

Pavia, and afterwards a counsellor at 
Bourges under Louis XII. 

7 Rabanistes, from Rabanus, a monk, 
who composed a sort of Cabala in Latin 
verse. Agrippa, Van. Sc. c 47 (De 

8 du Douet (iv. 37). Briand Valine, 
lord of Douet, of Saintonge, counsellor 
of the parliament of Bordeaux. He 
saved the elder Scaliger from the stake 
on the charge of having eaten meat in 





sciences, and in my Opinion we shall not get out of it but with Dishonour, 
for we do nothing but dote in our Consultations ; see therefore what I 
have thought upon. 

" You have surely heard speak of this great Personage, called Master 
Pantagruel, who hath been found to be learned above the Capacity of 
this present Age, in the great Disputations which he has publicly held 
against all Comers. I am of Opinion that we call him in, and confer 
with him in this Matter ; for never will man come to the End with it if 
he does not" 

Hereunto willingly consented all those Counsellors and Doctors ; and 
accordingly they sent for him on the spot, and entreated him to be 
pleased to canvas the Suit and sift it thoroughly, and to make to them 
a Report such as should seem good to him in true legal Science ; and 
they delivered into his Hands all the Sacks and Pancarts (Documents), 
which made up well-nigh the Load of four great Jackasses. 

But Pantagruel said to them : " My Masters, are the two Lords who 
have this Suit between them still living ? " To which it was answered 
him, Yes. 

" What a Devil then," said he, " is the use of all these paltry Bundles 
of Papers and Copies, that you give me ? Is it not better to hear their 
Debate by means of their own living Speech, than to read these Baboon- 
eries here, which are nothing but Deceits, diabolical Chicaneries of 
Cepola, 9 and Subversions of Equity ? For I am sure that you and all 
those through whose Hands the Suit has passed, have devised all you 
could Pro et Contra, and in the Case where their Controversy was patent 
and easy to determine, you have obscured it by foolish and unreason- 
able Reasons, and by silly opinions of Accursius, 10 Baldus, 11 Bartolus, 12 
de Castro, 18 de Imola, 14 Hippolytus, 16 Panormitanus, 16 Bertachin, 17 
Alexander, 18 Curtius 19 and those other old Mastiffs, who never under- 

9 Bartholomaei Veronensis, vulgo nun- 
cupati Cepollae, Cautellae juris, 4 , 1490. 
A book in great repute because it shewed 
how to assert and maintain all the artifices 
to get round the law and to prolong suits. 

10 Accursius, born in Florence, com- 
piler of the Gloss. Cf. ii. 5. 

11 Petrus Baldus de Ubaldis of Perugia 
(1323 - 1400), teacher of law at Pavia, 
Bologna and Padua. 

u Bartolus. Cf. L 10, n. 3. 
u Paul de Castro, a jurisconsult of the 
15th century, 1 1447. 

u /ohn de Imola, f 1436 at Bologna. 

He wrote a commentary on the Clement- 
ines and the Decretals. 

u Hippolytus Riminaldus, a juriscon- 
sult at the end of the 15th century, 1 1473. 

16 Panormitanus, from Palermo (Lat. 
Panormus), where he was archbishop. 
His name was Nicolas Tudeschi, inter- 
preter of the canon law (1386- 1445). 

17 Bertachin, an Italian ictus at the end 
of the 15th century. Cf. ii. 1. 

18 Alexander dlmola, sumamed Tor- 
tagnus, 1 1477. 

19 Jacques Curtius, bornat Brugesabout 
1500. Translated the Institutes^ 

chap, x PANTAGRUEL 257 

stood the least Law of the Pandects, and were no more than lumpish u 
Tithe-calves, ignorant of everything that is necessary for the Understand- 
ing of the Laws. 

" For (as is quite certain) they had no Knowledge of either Greek 
or Latin, but only of Gothic and Barbarian. And yet the Laws were 
first taken from the Greeks, as you have the Testimony of Ulpian 
L posteriori Dt orjg. juris™ and all the Laws are full of Greek Words 
and Sentences ; and secondly, they have been digested into Latin, the 
most elegant and ornate in the whole Latin language ; and I will not 
except therefrom willingly either Sallust or Varro or Cicero or Seneca or 
Titus Livius or Quintilian. 

" How then could these old Dotards have understood the Text of the 
Laws, who never saw a good Book in the Latin Tongue ; as manifestly 
appeareth by their Style, which is the Style of a Chimney-sweeper or of 
a Cook and Scullion, not of a Jurisconsult ? 

" Moreover, seeing that the Laws are excerpted from out of Philosophy, — 
both moral and natural, how shall these Fools understand it, who, by 
the Lord, have less studied in Philosophy than my Mule ? With regard 
to the cultivated Literature and Knowledge of Antiquities and History, 
they were as much provided with those Faculties as is a Toad with 
Feathers ; 21 nevertheless the Laws are quite full of this, and without it 
cannot be understood, as some day I will show more openly in Writing. 

" Wherefore, if you wish that I should take Cognisance of this Suit, 
first, I beg you, have all these Papers burnt, and secondly cause the two 
Gentlemen to come before me in Person, and when I shall have heard 
them, I will tell you my Opinion thereon, without any Disguise or Dis- ~ 
simulation whatever." ~~ 

Upon this, some among them spoke against it ; as you know that 
in all Companies there are more Fools than Wise men, and the larger 
Party always gets the upper Hand of the better, as b Titus Livius saith b Liv. xxi 4 , f z . 
in speaking of the Carthaginians. But the said du Douet manfully held 
to the contrary, maintaining that Pantagruel had well said ; that these 
Records, Bills of Inquiry, Replies, Rejoinders, Exceptions, Counter- 
pleadings and other such Devilries, were nothing but Subversions of 
Equity and Prolongings of Suits, and that the Devil would carry them 
away, one and all, if they did not proceed otherwise, that is, according to 
Evangelical and Philosophical Equity. 

* This law is one of Pomponius and much use for them as a drunken heretic 

not of Ulpian (Duchat). has for a crucifix," inverting the last 

n ABC add et en usent comme un words, as Rabelais sometimes does. D 

crucifix <Pun pi/re, meaning "have as suppresses this sentence. 



In short, all the Papers were burnt and the Gentlemen convoked to 
appear in Person. 

Then said Pantagruel to them : " Are you they that have this great 
Difference together?" 

" Yes, my Lord," said they. 

"Which of you is the Plaintiff?" 

" It is I," said the Lord of Kissbreech. 

" Go to, then, my Friend, and set forth to me your Affair from point 
to point according to the Truth ; for, by Cop's body, if you lie in a 
single Word, I will take your Head from off your Shoulders, and will 
shew you that in Justice and Judgment men ought to speak nothing but 
the Truth. Wherefore give heed not to add or diminish aught in the 
Statement of your Case. Say on." 






Utrum a Platonic Idea, bounding to the right under the Orifice of 
Chaos, could drive away the Squadrons of the Atoms of Democritus. 8 

Utrum the Flitterbats, seeing through the Transparency of the 
a Gate of Horn, could by Espionage discover the Morphean Visions, • cr. ul x 3 . 
by unrolling gyronically the Thread of the wonderful Crape 4 that 
envelops the atilli of ill-caulked Brains. 

Utrum the Atoms, whirling to the Sound of the Hermagoric 5 
Harmony, could make a Compaction or a Dissolution of a Quintessence 
by the Subtraction of the b Pythagorean Numbers. 

b *v. 33, v. 3d. 

1 Encyclopaedic Questions. These 
problems were first published in the 
Lyons edition of 1558. Apparently it 
is a specimen of the 9764 Theses which 
Pantagruel put up for discussion in all 
the comers of the city. They are appended 
here as being probably written by Rabelais. 
A similar problem may be found men- 
tioned among the books in ii. 7. 

1 Schools of Decree, the Lecture-room 
in which Gratian's Decree (c£ iv. 52) was 

published. It was in the building where 
formerly had been the prison (Chartre) of 
St Denis. 

• Atoms of Democritus. C£ Cic de 
Fin, i. 6, §§ 18-20 ; Lucretius, i. and ii 

4 i.e. the rete mirabih. CC iii. 5, 
iv. 30. 

6 Hermagoras of Amphipolis, a Stoic, 
pupil of Perseus, the freedman of Zeno, 
mentioned by Suidas. 



Utrum the hybernal Frigidity of the Antipodes, passing in an 
orthogonal Line through the homogeneous Solidity of the Centre, 
could by a gentle Antiperistasis* warm the superficial Connexity of 
our Heels. 

Utrum the Tassels of the Torrid Zone could so water themselves 
at the Cataracts of the Nile, that they should come to moisten the 
most burnt-up Parts of the Empyrean Heaven. 

Utrum, only by the long Hair given her, the metamorphosed She- 
bear having her Breech shaven a la bougresquc, to make a Crest for 
Triton, could be Guardian of the Arctic Pole. 

Utrum an elementary Sentence may allege decennial Prescription 
against amphibious Animals, and e contra, the other respectively put 
« L 31, UL 9. in a Complaint, in case of c Seising and Handsel. 

Utrum an Historical and Meteoric 7 Grammar, contending for its 
Anteriority and Posteriority by the Triad of the Articles, 8 could 
find some Line or Character of their Chronicle on the Zenonian 
Palm. 9 

Utrum the genera generalissima by violent Elevation above their 
Predicaments could climb to the Heights of the Transcendentals, 10 
and by Consequence leave barren the special and predicable Species, 
to the great Damage and Prejudice of the poor Master of Arts. 

Utrum the omniformous Proteus, turning himself into a Grass- 
hopper and musically trying his Voice in the Dog-days, could with 
a morning Dew-drop carefully bottled up in the Month of May, 
make a third Concoction 11 before the entire Course of the Zodiac 
Girdle. 12 

6 Antiperistasis = reciprocal pressure, disciplina Stoicorum est, manu demon- 
vCn ror4 fai<r& 6 UXdrotv rip dm-i- strare solebat quid inter has artes 
vepUrrao-w rift axvifa-tuj, Sia rb M&afjLov interesset ; nam cum compresserat digitos 
Kerb wrd^xetF, alrlav efrcu rvr rcpl tAs pugnumque fecerat dialecticam aiebat 
larpucfa <ruc6as raBijftdrwp, koX rwv repl ejusmodi esse; cum autem diduxerat et 
tV Kar&roffw, koX rA fitTTodfteva p&pq, manum dilataverat palmae illius similem 
koX tA tw M&twp fetftara, xal icepawofo, eloquentiam esse dicebat" 

rfyf re tpcuwofUrrp rpto ifhticrpa koX rb* w Transcendental* ±\ht Platonic Uni- 

\1$op rbp 'H/xJUXeioi' &Kidjr t rdf re tup versals or Ideas. 

QBtrffap ffvfupwplat ; (Plutarch, Platon. u third Concoction (dim. 31)= perfect 

Quaest. vii. 1004 e). digestion. 

7 Meteoricques (? Methodicques). u ^ whether a grasshopper could 

8 Articles or joints, Articuli. digest a dew-drop in a year. 

9 Zenonian palm, ue. of Zeno, founder 

of the Stoics (362-264 B.C.) C£ Cic. r^? a !?:* W1, 

Orat.%113: "Disputandi ratio etloquendi to^i^JZO* 

dialecticorum, oratorum autem dicendi £***& «n* k&ut. 
et orandL Zeno quidem ille, a quo Anacrtonte*, yt. 

philos. cream PANTAGRUEL 261 

Utrum the black Scorpion could suffer Solution of Continuity 
in his Substance, and by the Effusion of his Blood obscure and blacken 
the Milky way, 18 to the great Prejudice and Damage of the Jacobipetous 

u Milky way, etc. C£ ii. 2, Progru dicunt quod Galaxia est naturae ele- 
cap. 5. "Etiam Albertistae dicunt quod mentaris" (Gerilambius in Epist. Obs. 
Galaxia est naturae caelestis. Thomistae Viror. ii. 45). 


How the Lords of Kissbreech and Suckfizzle did plead 1 
before Pantagruel without Advocates 

Then began Kissbreech in Manner as followeth : 

" My Lord, it is true that a good Woman of my House was carrying 
Eggs to the Market to sell " 

" Be covered, Kissbreech," said Pantagruel. 

" Grammercy, my Lord," said the Lord of Kissbreech. 

"But to the purpose, there passed between the two Tropics six 
white Pieces towards the Zenith and a Halfpenny, forasmuch as the 
Rhiphaean Mountains had this year had a great Sterility of Happelourdes 
by means of a Sedition of Babblers stirred up between the Jabberers 
and the Accursians, for the Rebellion of the Switzers, who had 
assembled together to the Number of the Bumbees, to go to the 
Handsel-getting on the first Hole of the Year, when men give Brewis 
to the Oxen and the Key of the Coals to the Maids, to give Oats to 
the Dogs. 

^y 1 The pleadings in this and the next 
chapter and the decision in the thir- 
teenth chapter are without doubt prim- 
arily intended as a satire on the " law's 
delay" and the interminable and un- 
intelligible pleading of the Canon 
lawyers, who were as much hated by 
Rabelais as the monks. It is not 
improbable (but the idea must neces- 
sarily rest on conjecture) that there are 
oblique allusions cropping up in this 
- tissue of incoherence to the lawsuit 
b7Tween~Eouise de Savoye, the King's 
mother, and the Constable de Bourbon, 
as to whether he should take the 
estates of his late wife, Suzanne de 

Bourbon, in accordance with her will, 
and so become possessed of all the 
immense Bourbon possessions, or that 
they would lapse to Louise, as was 
suggested to her by the Chancellor 
Duprat. Louise had wished to marry 
the Constable, but had been slighted. 
Her cause was advocated by Poyet ; 
Lizet, under Duprat's instructions, was 
for the King, and Montholon for the 
Constable. After eleven months' sus- 
pense, in which there were several 
adjournments, Parliament referred the 
question in August 1523 to the King's 
Council, placing the Constable's posses- 
sions in sequestration. 




"All the Night they did nothing (with their Hand on the Pint- 
pot 8 ) but despatch Bulls on foot and Bulls on horseback to keep 
back the Boats, for the Tailors would only make of the stolen Shreds 

a bagpipe Swell 
To cover the Ocean Main, 

which was then great with Child of a Potful of Cabbage, according 
to the Opinion of the Hay-trussers ; but the Physicians said that by 
the Urine they could discover no evident Sign 

of the Pace of the Bustard, 
Of eating Mattocks dressedjvjtii Mustard, 

except that the Gentlemen of the Court should give by B flat, a Command 
to the Pox not to go about any more picking up Silk-worms, and so 
walk about during divine Service, for the Louts had already a good 
Beginning in dancing a Shake-down to a Diapason, 

One Foot in the Fire 

And their Head in the Mire, 

as good man Ragot 8 was wont to say. 

" Ha, my Masters, God moderates all things at His good Pleasure, 
and against Fortune the perverse a Carter broke his Whip in Derision. 4 
This was on the Return from La Bicoquc* when Master Antitus 6 of 
Cressplots was passed as Licentiate in Dulness, as the Canon-lawyers 
say : Beati Dunces quoniam ipsi stumblavtrunt 

"But that which makes Lent so high, by a Saint Fiacre of Brie, • cc m 47, n. 1. 
is for no other reason than that 

Doth never come but to my Cost, 

9 La main sur U pot refers to the 

custom of drinking to clinch a bargain. 

Cf. ii. 32. 

Encores se jeusses diet 

" La main sur le pot 1" par cc diet 

Man denier me feust demoare'. 

PaUlin, 396-398. 

9 Ragot. A famous beggar in the 
time of Louis XII. and the early years 
of Francis I. (Duchat). 

4 C£ old proverb : 

Cootre Fortune la diverse 

N'y a si bon char qui ne renverse. 

9 La Bicoque. Bicocca, near Milan, 

where Marshal de Lautrec was defeated 
by the Imperialists in 1522, through the 
disaffection of his 16,000 Swiss mer- 
cenaries and Venetian troops. This 
defeat was the beginning of a series of 
disasters for the French. 

9 Antitus (iv. 40, v. 2). Maftre 
Antitus occurs in an old Morality by 
Nichole de la Chesnaye entitled La 
Condamnacion de Bancquet (Paris 151 1 ). 
He seems to have been a sort of LucuHus 
of the Middle Ages. Fairt de V Antitus 
became a proverbial expression to signify 
one who gives himself airs. 


but Many, come up ! 

A little Rain lays a high Wind/ 

seeing that the Sergeant did not put the White at the Butt so high 
that the Clerk did not lick his Fingers orbicularly feathered with 
Ganders' Quills ; and we see manifestly that every one holds himself to 
blame, except he have looked in a Perspective ocularly towards the 
Fire-place, at the Spot where hangs the Ensign of the Wine of forty 
Girths, 8 which are necessary for twenty Stockings of Reprieves of 
five Years. 9 However, at the least, he who would not fly the Fowl 
before the Cheesecakes ought to discover it, for the Memory is often 
lost when a man puts on his Hose inside out. Well, God keep thee 
from Harm, Thibault Mitaine." 

Then said Pantagruel : " Softly, my Friend, softly ; speak at Leisure 
and without Temper. I understand the Case ; proceed 1 ' 

" Well, My Lord," said Kissbreech, " the said Good woman as she 
was saying her Gaudes and Audi-noses™ could not cover herself from 
a false Back-blow mounting, by the Powers, by the Privileges of the 
University, except by warming herself Anglically (? angularly), covering 
it with the Seven of Diamonds and then letting go a flying Thrust as 
near as may be to the Place where they sell the old Rags, which the 
Painters of Flanders use, when they wish right well to shoe the Grass- 
hoppers ; and I do marvel mightily how it is that the World doth not 
lay, seeing it doth so well hatch." 

Here the Lord of Suckfizzle wished to interpellate and say something, 
whereupon Pantagruel said to him : " By St. Antony's Belly, doth it 
pertain to thee to speak without Command? I do here sweat with 
Travail to understand the Procedure of your Difference, and yet thou 
comest to trouble me ? Peace in the Devil's name, Peace ! Thou 
shalt speak thy Belly-full when this Man hath finished. Proceed," said 
he to Kissbreech, "and hurry not yourself." 

" Seeing then," said Kissbreech, 

" That the Pragmatic Sanction n 
Did make thereof no Mention, 

7 Peu de plvie, etc. This proverb is Qu'il ne tar feilloit nul rtsfiit 

the title of iv. 44. &'**?, r**' ne qnxnqutmulU. 

• of forty Girths, u$. strong ex- Coquillait, Plaid^r <iL «>). 

cellent wine requiring forty hoops to 10 Certain prayers or anthems be- 

keep it ginning with the words Gauac and Audi 

9 QtUnquetulhSy respite of five years nas. 
to pay debts when the bankrupt could n Pragmatic Sanction, The well- 
show himself clear of blameT known compacts made by Louis IX. 




and that the Pope gave Liberty to each one to f— t at his Ease, if the 
Blankets were not streaked, whatever Poverty there was in the World, 
provided they do not cross themselves with the left-hand of the Ribald 
crew, 12 the Rainbow lately forged at Milan, to hatch Larks, consented 
that the Good woman should tread down the Heel of the Sciatica 
Patients by the Protest of the little testiculated Fishes, which at that 
time were necessary for understanding the Construction of old Boots. 

" However, John Calf her Cousin-german, stirred up by a Log from 
the Woodstack, advised her not to put herself to the Hazard of buck- 
washing the brimballatory Lye without first whitening the Paper; 
thereupon spin the Teetotum ; 18 for 

Non deponte vadit quicum sapuntia cadit t lA 

seeing that the Masters of the Accounts did not agree in casting up 
the number of German Flutes, of which they had framed the Spectacles 
of Princes™ lately printed at Antwerp. 

"And there, My Masters, is what makes a bad Return; and I 
believe the opposite Party therein, in sacer verbo dotis. 1 * For, wishing 
to obey the King's Pleasure, I had armed myself from Head to Foot 
with Belly-timber, to go to see how my Vintagers had slashed their 
high Bonnets, the better to play at Anticks; for the Time was a 
little dangerous in coming from the Fair, whereby several Franc- Archers 
had been refused on Parade, notwithstanding the Chimneys were 
high enough according to the Proportion of the Windgalls and Malanders 
of our friend Baudichon. 

" And by this Means there was a great Year of tawny Beetles (copper 
Tripods) through the whole Land of Artois, which was no small Profit 
for the Gentlemen Porters of Fagots, when they ate, without unsheathing, 
Cocklicranes with Stomach unbuttoned. And it were my Wish that 
every one had as fine a Voice ; they would then play better at Tennis 
for it, and those little Tricks, which they have made to etymologise 
the Patins, would descend more easily into the Seine, to serve for ever 

in 1228 and Charles VII. in 1438 with 
the Popes, with regard to benefices, 
by which the Kings of France had 
the appointment to all Church offices, 
and the Popes confirmed their choice. 
The Pragmatic Sanction appears in iii. 
41 as the wife of the Lateran Council. 
Louis XI. tried to revoke the Pragmatic 
Sanction, but was not supported by his 

u RibaudailU. Cf. ApologU pour 
Hirodote, c. 39. 

u pille, node, jocque, fore, or their 
first letters P'N'I'F, mark the sides of a 
teetotum. Cf. i. 22. 

14 Non de ponte, etc. Transposing 
vadit and cadi/. 

u Les lunettes da Princes. A book 
by Jean Meschinot published at Nantes 
( I 493)* M —in verbo sacerdotis. 


at the Millers' Bridge, 17 as was formerly decreed by the King of the 
Canaries, and the Order is still to be seen in the Records of the House. 

"Therefore, My Lord, I request that by your Lordship there may 
be said and declared on this Case what is reasonable, with Costs, 
Damages and Interest" 

Then said Pantagruel: "My Friend, do you wish to say any 
more ? " 

Kissbreech answered: "No, My Lord; for I have said all the 
tu autem™ and have departed from it in nothing, upon my Honour." 

"You then," said Pantagruel, "my Lord of Suckfizzle, say what 
you will and be brief— without, however, leaving out anything that will 
serve your Purpose." 

17 the Millers' Bridge. First built oiseaux, and was burnt down in 162 1 

under Charles the Bald, whose name (De Laulnaye). 

it bore. It was afterwards called the 18 tu autem=the whole from begin- 

pont aux Colombs, then the pont aux ning to end. Tu autem Domine miserert 

Meusniers. It was destroyed in 1596, nobis are the words used at the closing 

rebuilt in 1609 with the name pont of the short Lesson at the end of the 

Marchand and afterwards pont aux Service of Prime. Cf. i. 13, n. 10. 


How the Lord of Suckfizzle pleaded before Pantagruel 

Then began the Lord of Suckfizzle in Manner as followeth : 

" My Lord, and you, my Masters, 

" If the Iniquity of Men were as easily seen in categorical Judgment - 
as one discerns ft Flies in Milk, the World's four Oxen would not be so • cr. i «, ui m. 
much eaten up by Rats * as they are, and there would be many Ears upon 
Earth, which have been nibbled away too scurvily. For although 
everything which the Party opposing has said be of Down, quite true as 
far as the Letter and History of the factum, for all that, my Masters, the 
Subtlety, the Trickery and the little Crotchets are hidden under the — . 
Pot of Roses. 2 

" Ought I to endure that at the Time that I am eating my Soup at par, 
without thinking ill or speaking ill, they should come to perplex and 
trouble my Brains, ringing in my Ears the old Jingle, and saying : 

Whoso eating Soup will drink, 
When he's dead, sees ne'er a Wink ? 

" And by my Halidame, how many great Captains have we seen in 
open Battle-field, when they were giving them Hunches of the blessed 
Bread of the Confraternity, the more honestly to noddle their Heads, 
play on the Lute, crack with their Tails, and give little platform Leaps, 
in fine Pumps pinked like the Beard of a Cray-fish ! 

" But now the World is clean out of Joint from the Tufts of the 
Fleeces of Leicester ; 8 one becomes debauched, and the other hides his 

1 Rats, Dnchat thinks, refers to Us CI. Marot, xliv. Epist. Coq a rasne (1535), 

hommes ras, the tonsured folk. 1. 7. 

8 pot aux roses decouvert (v. 4) refers * lotuhetz des dalles de Lueestre, Cf. 

to the discovery of some intrigue or other, iv. 6, n. 13, where the same words occur 

C£ Charles d'Orleans, Rondeau 124; with the substitution of Litnestre for 

Coquillart, Droits nouveaux {de fnjuriis); Lucestre. 




Muzzle for the Winter Colds. 4 And if the Court make not Order 
therein, it will be as bad gleaning this Year as ever it made, or perhaps, 
will make Goblets. If a poor Person goes to the Stoves to illuminate 
his Muzzle with Cow-dung, or to buy Winter-boots, and the Serjeants 
passing by, or perhaps the Watchmen, receive the Decoction of a 
Clyster or the fecal matter of a Close-stool on their Rattle-traps, ought 
one on that account to clip Testoons and fricassee Crowns and wooden 
Trenchers ? 

" Sometimes we think one Thing, but God does the other ; and when 
the Sun is set, all Beasts are in the Shade. I do not wish to be 
believed therein, if I do not prove it bravely 6 by People of clear Day- 

" In the Year thirty-six, buying a German curtal Horse, which was 
tall and curt, of Wool good gain, and dyed in Grain, as the Goldsmiths 
assured me ; albeit the Notary put in an et cetera* 

" I am no Scholar, to snatch at the Moon with my Teeth ; but at the 
Butter-firkin, where were sealed the Vulcanian Instruments, the Report 
went that the Salt-beef made one find the Wine at Midnight without a 
Candle, even though it were hid at the Bottom of a Collier's Sack, were 
he mounted on a barbed Horse with Housings and Frontlet, and Thigh- 
b v. 97. pieces requisite for frying b Sauciness, that is, Sheep's-head. 

" And it is well, as is said in the Proverb, that it is good to see black 
Cows in burnt Wood, when a man enjoys his Love. I had a Consulta- 
tion upon this point with my Masters the Clerks, and for Resolution 
they concluded in frisesomorum 7 that there is nothing like mowing in 
Summer in a Cellar well furnished with Paper and Ink, Pens and Pen- 
knife from Lyons on the Rhone, tarabin tarabas ; 8 for, incontinently 
that the Armour smells of Garlic, the Rust eats out his Liver, and then 
one does nought but fiddle with a Wry-neck, slightly running over the 
after-dinner Nap. And this it is that maketh the Salt so dear. 

" My Lords, believe not that at the time when the said Good woman 
caught with Birdlime the Shoveller-fowl, in order to deliver over the 
younger Son's Portion for the Record of the Serjeant, and that the 

4 se cache U museau pour Its froidurcs 
hybernales. This is the reading of Dolet's 

Fr. hugrement, bravely (Cotgrave). 

• Cf. the contemporary proverb, quoted 
by Olivier Maillard : 

De trois choses Dieu nous garde, 
De YEt caetera des notaires, 
Quifrroquc des apothicaires, 
Et Bottom des Lombards frisquaires. 

For the last line cf. L 3 {gii Bocconi Lorn- 
bardi= poison). 

7 frisesomorum, A barbarous word," 
coined after the manner of those in the 
well-known memaria technica in Logic ; 
but it is to be observed that a syllogism 
in IEO is impossible. 

8 tarabin tarabas (iii. 36, iv. 10). 




Sheep's Pluck did shrink back by the Usurers' Purses, there was 
nothing better to preserve us from the Cannibals than to take a 
Rope of Onions, bound up with three hundred Ave Marias 9 and a 
little Calf s Purtenance of the best Alloy that the Alchymists have, 
and to well bemire and calcine these Slippers, mouflin mouflart^ with 
fine Sauce of Raballe, 10 and to skulk in some little Mole-hole, always 
saving the Bacon-rashers. 

" And if the Dice will not give you any Throw but always Ambes- 
ace, 11 two Threes at the great End, mark well the Ace and put the 
Dame on the Corner of the Bed ; 12 tousle her, toureloura la la, and 
drink to the uttermost, despicando grenouillibus (in Despite of the Frogs), 
with fine Housings of Quails; this shall be for the little cooped 
Goslings which amuse themselves at the game of Foucquet, 13 while 
they wait for the beating of the Metal and the heating of the Wax, 
to the Chattering at the Beer-drinking. 14 

"Very true it is that the four Oxen which are in Question were some- 
what short in Memory; nevertheless to know the Scale they feared 
neither Cormorant nor Duck of Savoy; and the good Folk of my 
Land had good Hope therefrom, saying : ' These children will become 
great in Algorism ' ; this shall be for us a Canon in Right We can- 
not fail to take the Wolf, making our Hedges above the Windmill, 
whereof the opposite Party hath spoken. But the great Devil had 
Envy therein, and put the Germans behind, who played the Devil in 
Tippling : Herr^ trink> trink [das ist got frelorum bigots paupera guerra 
facit. And I do marvel very greatly how the Astrologers prevent 
themselves so much in their Astrolabes and Almucantaraths] 16 the 
Doublet on a Point ; 16 for there is no Probability in the Saying : 

At Paris on Petit-Pont, Hens on Straw, 17 

even were they as high-crested as Fen-whoops, unless truly they sacri- 

9 Ave Mariatz is the reading of ABC. 
D reads naveaux — turnips, which may 
have been substituted for prudential 
reasons, but in this purposely incoherent 
gibberish it is impossible to say whether 
anything is meant or not 

10 RabalU, according to Cotgrave, is 
a root from the juice of which a " prettie " 
sauce is made. Duchat would take it 
—rebats-Uy which would be " cudgel 

11 dire que toujour* ambesars is sup- 
plied from Dolet's edition. 

a The reference is to tric-trac (back- 

gammon), in which dame and lit de repos 
are technical terms. 

w Foucquet (i. 22, iv. New Prol.) 

14 Fr. godale. Probably from English 
good ale. 

15 The words in brackets are from 
Dolet's edition. 

16 Fr. U doublet en case is an ex- 
pression in backgammon, the doublet 
being when two dice fell with the same 
face; case is the point or division on 
which the draughts are placed. 

17 One of the Cris de Paris. These had 
been set to music by Jannequin. iv. N. Prol. 




ficed the Pumpet-balls to the red Colour, fresh-set on the Letters Uncial 
or Cursive ; 'tis all one to me, provided the Head-band do not breed 

" And put the Case, that at the Coupling of the Hounds the Puppies 
had waxed proud before the Notary had made his Return by cabalistic 
Art, it does not follow — saving the better Judgment of the Court — that 
six Acres of Meadow-land with wide Measure will make three Butts of 
fine Ink without making present Payment, 18 considering that at the 
Funeral of King Charles 10 one got in open Market a Fleece for 

Six white Pieces : I mean, by my Oath, of WooL* 

" And I see ordinarily in all good Bagpipes S1 that when men cheat 
with a Bird-call, making three Turns of a Broom about the Chimney- 
piece, and putting their Name on Record, 22 they do nothing but bend a 
Cross-bow backward and wind a Horn behind, if perchance it is too 
hot, and tow-roiv-row skedaddle?* 

The Letter seen, incontinent 

The Cows restored were straightway sent 

" And a like Order was made, double or quits, at St. Martin's day ** 
in the Year seventeen for the Misrule of Louzefoigerouze, whereunto it 
may please the Court to have Regard 

" I say not verily that one may not in Equity with a just Title dis- 
possess those who shall drink Holy water, as one does with a Weaver's 
Shuttle, whereof are made Suppositories for those who will not resign, 
but on the Terms : fair Play \ fair Pay. 

" Tunc, my Lords, quid juris pro minoribus f • For the common 
Custom of the Salic Law is such that the first Fire-brand who flays and 
dishorns the Cow and blows his Nose in a full Concert of Music, without 
sol-faing the Cobbler's Stitches, is bound in time of Nightmare to subli- 
mate the Penury of his Member by Moss gathered when men do take 
Cold at midnight Mass, to give the Strappado to these white Wines of 
Anjou, which gave the Cross-buttock Neck to Neck after the fashion of 
Brittany. 26 

u Fr. souffler au bassin (Cotgrave). 
" Charles VII., who died in 1461. 

* A line quoted without coherence 
from la farce de Patelin (252). 

91 Dolet reads maisons instead of 

* insinuant sa nomination. Cf. L 5 

and iv. 10. 

* quilU luy HIU must, I think, be the 

reading, not qu'elU luy HIU. Quiller 
seems to mean to scamper; and HUer> to 
fasten a tow-rope on a horse. 

84 Fr. a la martingaUe. The inter- 
pretations given are all conjectural. 

* quid juris, etc. (iv. 29). 

* which give, etc., £«. wines which 
cause men to trip like the wrestlers of 

chap, xii PANTAGRUEL 271 

" Concluding as above, with Costs, Damages and Interests." 

After that the Lord of Suckflzzle had ended, Pantagruel said to the 

Lord of Kissbreech : " My Friend, do you wish to make any Answer ? " 

Whereupon Kissbreech answered : " No, my Lord ; for herein I have 

spoken nothing but the Truth ; and for God's sake let us make an End of 

our Difference, for we are here not without great Expense." 


How Pantagruel gave Judgment upon the Difference 

of the two Lords 

Then Pantagruel rose and assembled all the Presidents, Counsellors 
and Doctors there present, and said unto them : 

"Come now, my Masters, you have heard vivae vocis oraculo the 
Difference that is called in Question. What think you of it ? " 

Whereunto they answered : " We have verily and indeed heard it, 
but Devil a bit have we understood of the Case. 1 Wherefore we pray 
you una voce, and beseech you in Courtesy, that you be pleased to give 
Sentence such as you shall see fit, and ex nunc prout ex tunc* we accept 
it with Satisfaction and ratify it with our full Consent" 

"Very good, my Masters," said Pantagruel, "since it is your 
Pleasure, I will do so ; but I do not find the Case so difficult as you do. 

"Your Paragraph Cato, the law Frater, the law Gallus, the law 
Quinque pedum, the law Vinum, the law Si Dominus, the law Mater, the 
law Mulier bona, the law Si quis, the law Pomponitis, the law Fundi, the 
law Emptor, the law Praetor, the law Venditor? and ever so many, 
others are far more difficult, in my Opinion." 

And after he had said this, he walked a Turn or two about the Hall, 
thinking very profoundly, as could be imagined ; for he groaned like an 
Ass when he is girthed too tight, considering that he was bound to do 
Right to all and every one, without Bias or accepting of Persons. Then 
he returned and took his Seat and began to pronounce his Judgment as 
foiloweth : 

1 la cause. Probably = chose, as in code of Justinian quoted by their first 

Languedoc (Duchat). words, as usual ; six of them have been 

9 ex nunc, etc., i.e. retrospectively as commented on by Francois Hotman as 

well as prospectively. most obscure (Lyons 1564). 

9 These are actual passages in the 

chap, xin PANTAGRUEL 273 

" Having seen, heard and well considered the Difference between 
the Lords of Kissbreech and Suckfizzle, the Court to them doth 

"That — considering the Shivering -fit of the Flitterbat, bravely 
declining from the aestival Solstice to pay Court to the Fancies which 
have had the Ninnies on Foot, through the wicked Vexations of the 
light-shunning Night-ravens, which are quartered in the Meridian of 
Rome, 4 of an Ape on horseback bending a Cross-bow backwards — 

" The Plaintiff had just cause to caulk the Vessel which the Good 
woman was blowing up with Wind, having one Foot shod and the other 
bare, reimbursing him low and stiff in his Conscience with as many 
Bladder-nuts (Pistacchios) as there is Hair in eighteen Cows, and as 
many for the Embroiderer. 

" Likewise, he is declared innocent of the Case privileged from the 
Dag-locks, which it was thought he would have incurred, for that he 
could not merrily find Easement, by the Decision of a Pair of Gloves 
perfumed with Squibs, with Walnut-tree Tapers, as is usual in his 
country of Mirebalais, 5 letting go the Bowline with bronze Bullets, 
whereat the Stable-boys in Protestation 6 made Pies of his Pulse inter- 
quilted with Dormice, together with the Hawk's Bells made with Hun- 
garian Lace, which his Brother-in-law used to carry as a Record in an 
adjacent 7 Satchel, embroidered Gules with three Chevrons, crestfallen 
with canvassing, at the corner Dog-hole, from which we shoot at the 
vermiform Popinjay with its ragged Feathers. 

" But inasmuch as he putteth it on the Defendant, that he was a 
Botcher of Tags, a Cheese-eater and a Caulker and Pitcher of Mummy- 
flesh, which hath not in sifting been found true, as the said Defendant 
hath well argued, 

"The Court doth condemn him in three Porringers of Curds 
cemented, prelorlitanted and cod-pieced, as is the Custom of the 
Country, to be paid to the said Defendant at mid-August in May ; 

" But the said Defendant shall be bound to furnish Hay and Stubble 
for stopping the Caltrops of his Throat, imburlicockered with Gobbets 
of Meat well examined in Slices. 

" And Friends as before, without Costs and for a Cause." 

4 Climat dia Rkomte means simply in • contestablement. Connestablement % 

the latitude of Rome. Cf. did 2irfan)s t Dolet's edition, 

iii 52. 7 limitrophe. Cod. lib. xi. tit 59, de 

• Cf. v. 33, n. 18: Et lanterne provin- fundis limitropkis ; i.e. those which were 

dale de Mirebalais laquelh fut serine liable to feed soldiers quartered near the 

d'une chandelle de noix* border ; hence adjacent (Du Cange). 



Which Sentence being pronounced, the two Parties departed, both 
well pleased with the Decree, which was a Thing almost incredible ; for 
never had it come to pass since the Great Rains, 8 nor ever shall happen 
for thirteen Jubilees, that two Parties contending in Judgment in Oppo- 
sition should be equally content with a definitive Sentence. 

As for the Counsellors and other Doctors who were there present, 
they remained entranced in Ecstasy for well three Hours, and all 
ravished with Admiration at the more than human Wisdom of Panta- 
gruel, which they had clearly perceived in the Decision of this Cause, 
which was so difficult and thorny. And they would have been so now, 
had not a quantity of Vinegar and Rose-water been brought to restore 
to them their accustomed Sense and Understanding ; for which God be 
ever praised. 

8 ue, since the Flood. Cf. iii. 8. 


How Panurge related the Manner of his Escape from the 

Hands of the Turks 

The Judgment of Pantagruel was incontinently known and heard by all 
the World, and printed in great numbers and brought into the Archives 
of the Palace ; in such sort that the World began to say : " Solomon, 
who by Guess restored the Child to its Mother, never showed such a 
Masterpiece of Wisdom as the good Pantagruel hath done ; happy are 
we to have him in our Country." 

And indeed they wished to make him Master of the Requests * and 
President in the Court, but he refused all, thanking them graciously : 

" For," said he, " there is too great Subservience in these Offices, and 
very hardly can those be saved who fill them, seeing the Corruption of 
Men ; and I believe that if the Seats vacated by the Angels 2 be not filled 
by another Sort of People, we shall not have the last Judgment for thirty- 
seven Jubilees, and Cusanus 8 will be deceived in his Conjectures. I 
give you Notice of it in good time. — But if you have any Hogsheads of 
good Wine I will accept the Present willingly." 

This they did right heartily, and they sent him of the best in the 
City, and he drank thereof reasonably well. But the poor Panurge 
drank thereof valiantly, for he was as lean 4 as a red Herring, and he 
trod gingerly like a lank Cat. 

1 Master of the Requests (i 29), libel- 
lorum supplicum magistri. 

8 An allusion to the opinion of the Old 
Fathers that men were only created and 
called to eternal bliss to fill up the places 
vacated by Lucifer and the rebel angels 
(Morellet, quoted by M. ) 

3 Cardinal Nicholas de Cusa, who 
wrote a treatise in 1452, de Conjecturis 

novissitnorum temporum, fixing the end 
of the world at 1734, or the 34th Jubilee 
after the Christian era, corresponding to 
the 34 Jubilees that had elapsed between 
the Creation and the birth of Christ. C£ 
iii. 26. 

4 eximi = essimt, from Ital. seemare, 
to make lean, to bring down ; a term of 


And some one admonished him, when he was out of Breath with 
drinking a large Bowl full of red Wine, saying : " Fair and softly, Gossip; 
you suck it down as if you were mad" 

. " I give thee to the Divel," * said he ; " thou hast not found here thy 

little Topers of Paris, who never drink in larger Measure than a Chaf- 

• v. 43 wit finch, and never take their Beakful unless they are a bobbed on the Tail 

b i. 5, n. 19. after the manner of Sparrows. O my Companion, if I could b mount up 

as' well as I drink down, I should long ago have been beyond the Sphere 

« Lacian, i car. of the Moon with c Empedocles. But I know not what a Devil it 

means ; this Wine is very good and most delicious, but the more of it I 

drink the more I am athirst I believe the Shadow of My Lord Panta- 

« ex a. a. gruel maketh men d thirsty, just as the Moon maketh Catarrhs." At 

which the Company began to laugh. 

Which Pantagruel perceiving, said : " Panurge, what is it you have 
to laugh at ? " 

" My Lord," said he, " I was telling them how these devilish Turks 
are mighty wretched that they may drink no Drop of Wine. If there 
were no other Harm in the Alcoran of Mahomet, still for this, would I 
not put myself a whit under his Law." 

" But, come, tell me," said Pantagruel, " how you escaped out of 
their Hands." 

" By the Lord, Sir," said Panurge, " I will not lie to you in a single 
Word The whoreson Turks had put me on a Spit, all larded like a 
Coney, for I was so lean that otherwise my flesh would have been 
mighty bad Meat, and in this Manner they were having me roasted 

" As they were thus roasting me, I commended myself to the Divine 
Grace, keeping in my Mind the good Saint Laurence, 6 and ever did I 
hope in God that He would deliver me from this Torment ; the which 
came to pass very strangely. For, as I was most heartily commending 
myself to God, crying : ' Lord God help me ! Lord God save me ! 
Lord God take me out of this Torment, in which these traitorous Dogs 
are keeping me for holding fast thy Law ! ' the Turnspit fell asleep by the 
Will of God, or perhaps of some good Mercury, who cunningly sent to 
• Ovid, Mtu i. sleep c Argus, that had a hundred Eyes. 

"When I saw that he turned me no more in roasting, I looked at 
him and saw that he was asleep. Then with my Teeth I took up a Fire- 
brand by the End where it was not burnt, and threw it in the Lap of 

* Jt donm au DutbU, D. Par saisut Thibault, dut H, tu dys vray et sije . . . ABC 
5 St Laurence was roasted to death on a huge gridiron. Leg, Aurea, c 117. 

chap, xiv PANTAGRUEL 277 

my Roaster, and another I threw as well as I could under a Camp-bed, 
which was near the Fire-place, where was the Straw-bed of my Master 
the Turnspit 

" Incontinently the Fire took hold on the Straw, and from the Straw 
went to the Bed, and from the Bed to the Floor, which was planked 
with Fir made like the Bottom of Lamps. 

" But the best of it was that the Fire, which I had thrown in the Lap 
of my whoreson Turnspit, burnt all his Groin and began to lay hold on 
his Cods ; only that he was not so rank of Smell but that he found of it 
sooner than Daylight, and suddenly getting up in Amazement, he cried 
from the Window as loud as he could : Dal baroth, dal baroth^ which is 
as much as to say : l Fire, Fire.' Then he came straight to me to throw 
me altogether on the Fire, and he had already cut the Cords with which 
they had tied my Hands, and was cutting the Ropes that bound my 

" But the Master of the House, hearing the Cry of Fire and smelling 
the Smoke from the Street, where he was walking with some other 
Bashaws and Musaffiz, ran as hard as he could to bring Help there, and 
to carry off his Valuables. 

"Next moment he arrived, he drew out the Spit whereon 1 was 
trussed, and killed my Roaster stark dead, of which Wound he died there 
for Want of proper Treatment, or otherwise ; for he ran him through 
with the Spit a little above the Navel towards the right Flank, and 
pierced the third Lobe of his Liver, and the Blow, slanting upwards, 
penetrated his Diaphragm, and passing athwart the Capsule 6 of the 
Heart, the Spit came out at the upper Fart of his Shoulders, between 
the Spondyles 7 and the left Omoplat 

"True it is, that as he drew the Spit out of my Body I fell to the 
Ground near the Andirons, and the Fall hurt me a little ; not much, 
however, for the Slices of Bacon kept off the Force of the Blow. 

" Upon this, my Bashaw, seeing that the Case was desperate, and 
that his House would be burned without chance of Escape, and all his 
Goods would be lost, gave himself up to all the Devils, calling upon 
Grilgoth, Ashtaroth, Rappallus and Gribouillis 8 nine several times. 

"Seeing this, I had more than five Pennyworth of Fear, in my 
Terror : * The Devils will come now to carry off this Fool here ; would 
they be Folk likely to carry me off too ? I am already half roasted 

6 Capsule if the Heart (iv. 27)= the whose names point them out as having 
pericardium. sway over roasting and boiling and grilling. 

7 Spondyles (<j<pb9$v\oi) = vertebrae. Gribouillis is the name of one of the cooks 

8 The devils here mentioned are those who went into the great sow in iv. 40. 

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j*v* ;t«o rruar. jtut r>r I oaswt xileri: tusxtv iraer*. -roc iumii fiwiiw'iwgi 
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*s* *fto >*m* C rsPt tie& 3vr ?*iige/ x HlucL aee see x 3. Time 
***, t>:x virvUr<&i fassayrji -rxuii 2nd «rne Zkamcnds sal ^thipt ax 

* A*v£ wti**a* irc 2ie» * '* fair: Ecikeaczx 

ft»ir i»i»e ie tie laat 

7>/4 ir*t <->e jp^at ^^kre felt fcy % u«, ±e Para x>^-* * ^ 

******* f/*\*^ '',ytxk f *tsi % yvyX 'A *'** m ViCsm fi JD; it. 13, 67), a 

\/ifjt<1< \\* n**A tit* %*rVhi'&K, \k>\Wr baud Frcacb pocc 1430 14S4, who 

^/p¥r/ vtth^Ay u, t/x*fxm tsAytsnarfk, He % &t& ti i vtukc wish fas comexnporaics 

# 0< t)^> *<■>* Is* tA % /Aft *A i'pb*4t'XM, xn vA \m 'mtmrAate v m ccruo t s . Hi Grand 

**A//>*f*t tA *}* tfty*i*r*t <A tt$* Chaittvam Testament pwes an accn wn f of fab life. 
**4 fr/7t*i*'*t trd * f "tali** tm Fate. From it we learn that bewas poor and gircn 

|$f^ )l h*« tfA \**n n*rs7i*int4 that he to bate expedienU to tire. He was born 

b*/J «p/^ W«wt a* t/> the ta*te» of the at Anren, near Pontoise, dose to Paris. 

favSU. His real name was Francpb ViUon, not 

" Jmn Murmautt ttt Murnulliut of Corbueil, which was rather his nickname. 

Um*tu*fittt* *U*A at I taventer t$rj. He His disorderly life brought htm several 

WM a \ivii***tf tA btllst'ltttru, and left times before the tribunal of the Chatelet at 

\*\t\iu\ U\m mum ite*tl%c% f such as loci Paris. He went into Orleanais and was 

wmmhhh unttnliarufttt etc, lJuchat arrested and condemned to be hanged at 

•ugll" 1 * OiMt h« ws« hunchbacked. Meung-sur-Loire ; but, thanks to powerful 

11 l r r, foun*tt* % wir buHpi. protectors, the Due d'Orleans and the Due 

11 Mate <th toHl hi wipi tVantan t (iv. de Bourbon, bis sentence was changed to 




11 Go on to the End, I pray thee," said Pantagruel, " that we may 
know how thou didst dress thy Bashaw." 

" Faith of an honest Man/' said Panurge, " I lie not a single Word 
therein. I tied him up with a scurvy Band, which I found there half- 
burnt, and bound him roughly Hand and Foot with my Cords, so well 
that he could not have winced, then passed my Spit through his Throat 
and hung him up, fastening the Spit by two great Cramp-irons, which 
supported Halberds, and kindled me a great Fire beneath him, and 
flamed up Milord for you, as men do red Herrings in a Chimney-place. 

" Then taking his Budget and a little Javelin which was on the Cramp- 
irons, I made off at a round Gallop. And God knows how I smelt of 
my Shoulder of Mutton. 

" When I was come down into the Street, I found everybody had run 
out to the Fire with store of Water to extinguish it; and as they saw me 
half-roasted, they naturally took Pity on me and threw all their Water on 
me, and joyously refreshed me, which did me mighty great Good ; then 
they gave me some little Food, but I did not eat much, for they gave 
me but Water to drink, after their Fashion. 

" Other Hurt they did me none, save a villainous little Turk, with a 
Hunch in Front, who was stealthily eating my Bacon, but I gave him 
*dronos so smartly on the Fingers with my Javelin, that he did not return f 1 97, n. 10. 
a second Time. And a young g Corinthian Wench brought me a Pot of 1 cr. m. Proi. 
round u Myrobalans, preserved in their Fashion, and she looked pitifully 
at my poor fly-bitten Frame, as it had been taken from the Fire, for it 
reached no farther than my Knees. But note, that this Roasting cured 
me entirely of a Sciatica, to which I had been subject for more than 
seven Years past, on the Side on which my Roaster let me bum while he 
fell asleep. 

" Now, while they were amusing themselves with me, the Fire raged 
triumphantly — ask me not how — so as to lay hold on more than 
two thousand Houses, when one of them noticed it and cried out, 
saying : ( By Mahoum's Belly, all the Town is afire, while we are amusing 
ourselves here.' So each one went off to his own. 

that of perpetual banishment. According 
to Rabelais (iv. 67), he went to England. 
On the accession of Louis XI. (1461) he 
was rally pardoned and returned to France. 
The Repues Franc Jus, describing all 
manner of irregularities, have been wrongly 
attributed to him. The Monologue du 
Franc- Archier at BagnoUt, quoted more 
than once by Rabelais, may be not Vil- 

lon's, but composed and played by his 
company. Rabelais seems to have known 
his poems by heart and to have justly 
admired them. 

u Fr. emblics, from Lat umbilicus, on 
account of its gland-like shape. Myro- 
balans, from pOpo* fidXavot, an aromatic 
Arabian spice known as ben. Fruit of 
the Phyllanthus cmblica (Littrl). 



"As for me, I took my way towards the Gate. When I was on a 
little Hillock, which is near, I turned me about and looked back, like 
h G«n. jrfx. 36. h Lot's wife, and saw all the Town blazing, whereat I was so glad that I 
all but bewrayed myself with Joy ; but God punished me well for it" 

" How ? " said PantagrueL 

" Whilst I was looking, 19 said Panurge, "in great Delight at this fair 
Fire, jesting with myself 15 and saying : c Aha poor Fleas, aha poor Mice, 
you will have a bad Winter, the Fire is in your Bed-straw,' there came out 
more than six, yea more than thirteen hundred and eleven Dogs, great 
and small all together, out of the Town, flying from the Fire. At their 
first Approach they ran straight upon me, smelling the Odour of my 
villainous half-roasted Flesh, and would have devoured me on the spot, 
if my Good Angel had not well inspired me, teaching me a Remedy very 
opportune against the Tooth-ache." 

" And to what Purpose," said Pantagruel, " didst thou fear the Tooth- 
ache ? Wert thou not cured of thy Cold ? " 

" By Palm Sunday," 16 answered Panurge, " is there any Tooth-ache 
greater than that when the Dogs hold you by the Legs ? But suddenly 
I bethought me of my Bacon-slices, and threw them in the midst among 
them. Then did the Dogs go and fight with each other with all their 
Teeth, as to which should have the Bacon. By this means they left me, 
and I left them too, worrying one another. 17 Thus I escaped frolic and 
lively ; and so a long Life to Roasting." 

u Fr. gabelant. 
M Pasques de Soles. Probably a burlesque on the adjuration of Louis XI. 

17 Fr. se ptlaudants ; iiL 33. 


How Panurge showed a very new Way to build the Walls 

of Paris 

One day Pantagruel, to refresh himself from his Study, went a-walking 
towards the Suburb Saint Marceau, wishing to see the Gobelin Folly. 1 

Panurge was with him, having as usual a Flagon under his Gown 
and a Piece of Ham ; for without this he never went, saying that it was 
his Bodyguard Other Sword bare he none, and when Pantagruel 
would have given him one, he answered that it would heat his Spleen. 

" Yea, but," said Epistemon, " if men should set upon thee, how 
wouldst thou defend thyself? " 

"With sound Blows from my Buskins," answered he, "provided that 
Foining was forbidden." 

On their Return, Panurge considered the Walls of the City of Paris 2 
and in Derision said to Pantagruel : " O, these be strong Walls and 
rarely fitted to keep Goslings in a Coop. By my Beard, they be sorry 
enough for a City such as this, for a Cow with a f — t would overthrow 
more than six Fathoms." 

" Oh, my Friend," said Pantagruel, " dost thou know what a Agesilaus • Piut. Afoph. 
said when he was asked why the great City of Lacedaemon was not 
surrounded by Walls ? Shewing the Inhabitants and Citizens of the 
Town, so well expert in military Discipline and so strong and well 
armed: ( Lo, here,' said he, 'are the Walls of the City,' signifying 
thereby that there is no Wall save of Bones, and that Towns and Cities 

1 La Folie - Gobelin was the original * Several inadequate attempts to fortify 

name of the celebrated manufactory of Paris had been made, but it was not 

tapestry founded by Giles Gobelin, a dyer till 1544, when it was threatened by 

in the reign of Francis I. It was after- Charles V., that any real effort was 

wards called l'Hdtel des Gobelins. made. 


could have no surer Wall or more strong than the Valour of the 
Citizens and Inhabitants. 

" Thus, this City is so strong by the Multitude of warlike People that 
are therein, that they care not to make other Walls. Besides, if any 
one should wish to wall it round like Strasburg, Orleans, or Ferrara, it 
would not be possible, so excessive would be the Cost and Expense." 

" Yea, but," said Panurge, " still it is good to have a stone Face to 
shew, when we are invaded by our Enemies, were it only to ask : ' Who 
is there below ? ' 

"As for the enormous Expense which you say is needful, if 
one wished to wall it round, if the Gentlemen of the City will give me a 
good Cup of Wine I will teach them a Method very new how they 
shall be able to build them cheaply." 

"How?" said Pantagruel. 

" Do not speak of it then to a Soul, if I teach you," answered Panurge. 

— Je voy que les callibistris des Femmes de ce pays sont a meilleur mar- 
ch£ que les pierres ; d'iceux fauldroit bastir les Murailles, en les arran- 
geant par bonne symmetric d' Architecture, et mettant les plus grands 
aux premiers rancs; et puis, en taluant 8 a dos d'asne, arranger les 
moyens, et finablement les petits. Puis faire un beau petit entrelarde- 
ment a poinctes de diamans, comme la Grosse Tour de Bourges, de tant 
de bracquemars enroiddis qui habitent par les braguettes Claustrales. 

"Quel Diable deferoit telles murailles? II n'y a metal qui tant resistast 
aux coups. Et puis, que les couillevrines se y vinssent froter ; vous en 
verriez, par Dieu ! incontinent distiller de ce benoist fruict de grosse 
Verole, menu comme pluye. Sec, au nom des diables ! Davantaige, la 
fouldre ne tomberoit jamais dessus. Car pourquoy? ils sont tous benitz 
ou sacr£s. 

" Je n'y vois qu'un inconvenient. 

— Ho, ho, ha, ha, ha, dist PantagrueL Et quel ? 

— C'est que les mousches en sont tant friandes que merveilles, et se y 
cueilleroient facilement, et y feroient leurs ordures, et voyla l'ouvrage 
gaste* et diffame\ 

" Mais voicy comment l'on y remedieroit II fauldroit tres bien les 
esmoucheter avec belles queues de renards, ou bons gros vietz dazes de 

" Et, a ce propos, je vous veulx dire (nous en allant pour souper), un 
bel Exemple que met Frater Lubinus, libro de Compotationibus men- 

' taluant, sloping {taludare t Du Cange). 

chap, xv PANTAGRUEL 283 

" Au temps que les Bestes parloient (il n'y a pas trois jours) un pauvre 
Lyon, par la Forest de b Bievre se pourmenant, et disant ses Menus b Cf. 1 ax. 
Suffrages, passa par dessous un arbre, auquel estoit mont£ un villain 
Charbonnier pour abatre du bois. Lequel, voyant le Lyon, luy jetta sa 
coign£e, et le blessa enormement en une cuisse. 

" Dont le Lyon, cloppant, tant courut et tracassa par la Forest, pour 
trouver aide, qu'il rencontra un Charpentier lequel voluntiers regarda sa 
playe, la nettoya le mieulx qu'il peust, et l'emplit de mousse, luy disant 
qu'il esmouchast bien sa playe, que les Mousches n'y fissent ordure, 
attendant qu'il iroit chercher de l'Herbe au Charpentier. 

"Ainsi le Lyon, guery, se pourmenoit par la Forest, a quelle heure 
une Vieille sempiterneuse ebuschetoit, et amassoit du bois par ladicte 
Forest; laquelle, voyant le Lyon venir, tomba de peur a la renverse 
en telle fa$on que le vent luy renversa robe, cotte et chemise, 
jusques au dessus des espaules. Ce que voyant, le Lyon accourut 
de pitfe, voir si elle s'estoit faict aucun mal, et, considerant son com- 
ment a nom, dist: 'O pauvre femme, qui t'a ainsi blessle?' et, ce 
disant, apperceut un Renard, lequel il appella, disant : * Compere Renard, 
hau cza, cza, et pour cause.' 

" Quand le Renard fut venu, il luy dist : ( Compere, mon amy, Ton a 
bless£ ceste bonne femme icy entre les jambes bien villainement, et y a 
solution de continuity manifeste ; regarde que la playe est grande, depuis 
le cul jusques au nombril ; mesure quatre, mais bien cinq empans et 
demy. C'est un coup de coignle; je me doubte que la playe soit 

" Pourtant, afin que les mousches n'y prennent, esmouche la bien fort, 
je fen prie, et dedans et dehors : tu as bonne queue et longue ; 
esmouche, mon amy, esmouche, je t'en supplie, et ce pendant je vais 
querir de la mousse pour y mettre. Car ainsi nous fault il secourir et 
aider l'un 1'aultre, Dieu le commande. Esmouche fort, ainsi, mon amy, 
esmouche bien : car ceste playe veult estre esmouchle souvent, aultre- 
ment la personne ne peut estre a son aise. Or esmouche bien, mon 
petit Compere, esmouche; Dieu t'a bien pourveu de queue, tu I'as 
grande et grosse a l'advenant, esmouche fort, et ne t'ennuye point. Un 
bon esmoucheteur qui, en esmouchetant continuellement, esmouche de 
son mouschet, par mousches jamais esmouchl ne sera. Esmouche, 
couillaud, esmouche, mon petit bedeau. Je n'arresteray gueres.' 

" Puis va chercher force mousse, et quand il fut quelque peu loing, 
il s'escria, parlant au Renard : 

"' Esmouche bien tousjours, Compere, esmouche, et ne te fasche 
jamais de bien esmoucher ; par Dieu, mon petit Compere, je te feray estre 


k gaiges esmoucheteur de la reyne Marie ou bien de don Pietro de 
Castille. Esmouche seulement, esmouche, et rien de plus. 9 Le pauvre 
Renard esmouchait fort bien et degk et de 1&, et dedans et dehors ; mais 
la faulse vieille vesnoit et vessoit puant comme cent Diables. 

" Le pauvre Renard estoit bien mal k son aise, car il ne s^avoit de 
quel cost£ se virer pour evader le parfum des vesses de la Vieille ; et, 
ainsi qu'il se tournoit, il vit que au derriere estoit encores un aultre 
pertuis, non si grand que celuy qu'il esmouchoit, dont luy venoit ce 
vent tant puant et infect. 

" Le Lyon finablement retourne, portant de mousse plus que n'en 
tiendroient dix et huit balles, et commenga en mettre dedans la playe, 
avec un baston qu'il apporta, et y en avoit ja bien mis seize balles et 
demie, et s'esbahyssoit : ' Que Diable ! ceste playe est parfonde : il y 
entreroit de mousse plus de deux charretles. 

" Mais le Renard l'advisa : ' O Compere Lyon, mon amy, je te prie, 
ne metz icy toute la mousse, gardes en quelque peu, car il y a encores 
icy dessous un aultre petit pertuis, qui put comme cinq cens Diables : 
j'en suis empoisonn£ de l'odeur, tant il est punais.' 

" Ainsi fauldroit garder ces Murailles des mousches, et mettre Esmou- 
cheteurs & gaiges." 

Lors dist Pantagruel : " Comment sgais tu que les membres honteux 
des femmes sont & si bon marchl ? Car en ceste Ville il y a force 
preudes femmes, chastes et pucelles." 

— Et ubi frcnust* dist Panurge. Je vous en diray non pas mon 
opinion, mais vraye certitude et asseurance. Je ne me vante d'en 
avoir embourrl quatre cens dix et sept, depuis que je suis en ceste Ville, 
et n'y a que neuf jours.* Mais, k ce matin, j'ay trouv£ un bon homme 
qui, en un bissac, tel comme celuy d'Esopet, portoit deux petites 
fillettes, de l'aage de deux ou trois ans au plus ; Tune devant, l'aultre 
derriere. II me demanda l'aumosne, mais je luy fis response que j'avois 
beaucoup plus de couillons que de deniers. 

" Et apr£s luy demande : ( Bon homme, ces deux fillettes sont-elles 
pucelles? — Frere, dist il, il y a deux ans que ainsi je les porte; et au 
regard de ceste cy devant, laquelle je voy continuellement, en mon 
advis elle est pucelle : toutefois je n'en voudrois mettre mon doigt au 
feu. Quand est de celle que je porte derriere, je n'en s^ay sans faulte 
rien.' " 

* AB add voirt ds moHgnmuis dtymaigts tt d* Theologiensut. This is suppressed in D. 
4 Et ubi prenus? Dog -Latin for -fi/wW/rwMtfquinel'emble? 

et ubi prendimm = Where are we to occurs in the Ancicn TJUdire Fran^ais 
find them ? published by Jannet (M.) 

chap, xv PANTAGRUEL 285 

"Verily," said Pantagruel, "thou art a gentle Companion; I do wish 
to apparel thee in my Livery." 

And accordingly he caused him to be clothed gallantly, following 
the Fashion then in vogue, except that Panurge would have the Cod- 
piece of his Breeches three feet long and squared, not round ; which 
was done, and it was well worth seeing. And he often used to say that 
the World had not yet discovered the Profit and Utility that is in 
wearing great Cod-pieces ; but that Time would teach them some day, 
for that all Things had been invented by Time. c ^tSltZJyt, 

" God guard from ill," said he, " the Companion whose long Cod- ££"£ SHru 
piece hath saved his Life ! L u * * 3S * 

" God guard from ill the man whose long Cod-piece hath been worth 
to him a hundred and sixty thousand and nine Crowns ! 

" God guard from ill the man who by his long Cod-piece hath saved 
a whole City from dying of Hunger ! 

"And I vow I will make a Book On the Commodity of long Cod-pieces 
when I shall have more Leisure." 

And indeed he did compose a fine great Book with Figures ; but it 
is not yet printed, as far as I know. 


Of the Qualities and Disposition of Panurge l 

Panurge was of middle Stature, neither too tall nor too short, and had 
somewhat of an aquiline Nose, made like the Handle of a Razor ; and 
at that time was five-and-thirty years of Age or thereabouts, smart 
enough for gilding, like a leaden Dagger, 2 a fine Fellow in his Person, 
except that he was a bit rakish and by Nature subject to a Malady, which 
was called at that Time 

The Lack of Money, Pain unparalleled. * 

However, he had_ sixty -three Ways to find some at his Need, the 
most honourable and common of which was by means of Larceny 
stealthily perpetrated; he was mischievous, a Sharper, a Tippler, a 
Roysterer, a dissolute Footpad if there was one in Paris, 

And for the rest, the best Lad in the World. 4 

And he was always contriving some Trick against the Sergeants and the 

At one time he got together three or four sturdy Rustics ; made 

* 1 5 . them drink in the Evening like A Templars and afterwards took them 

* a. x8, n. 5. to the Place below St. Genevieve, or near the College of b Navarre, and 

at the time when the Watch was coming up that Way (which he knew 

1 The character of Panurge is formed 
on the model of Cingar in Merlin Coccai, 
helped by some tricks of Villon and others. 
Cf. Merl. Coc. Macch. ii. and Morgante 
Maggiort, quoted in Appendix to this 

8 Ft. fin & dorer comme une dague dt 
plomby meaning 'a good-for-nothing 
cheat,' fin having a double meaning of 
'fine' and 'crafty,' and the other words 

referring to the utter worthlessness of the 
leaden dagger, v. 27 c. 

3 A proverbial expression to be found 
in the refrains of many poets contemporary 
with Rabelais. Cf. also iv. 35, Pant. 
Prog. c. 3. 

4 A line taken from Marot in a passage 
descriptive of a rascally servant who had 
robbed him. The poem is in the form of 
a letter to the king {Epist. 29). 




by resting his Sword upon the Pavement and putting his Ear to it, for 
it was an infallible Sign that the Watch was near when he heard his 
Sword rattle), at that Instant, 1 say, he and his Companions got a 
Dung-cart and started it going, rushing it with all their Force down the 
Hill, and so knocked down all the poor Watchmen like so many Pigs, 
and then made off on the other Side ; for in less than two days he 
knew all the Streets, Lanes and Alleys of Paris, like his Deus det* 

At another time he laid in some fair Place, by which the said Watch 
must needs pass, a Train of Gunpowder, and at the Moment they were 
passing, set Fire to it, and then took his Pastime in seeing the good 
Grace they had in running away, thinking that St. Antony's Fire 6 had 
them by the Legs. 

And as for the poor Masters of Arts and Theologians,* he persecuted 
them above all others. Whenever he met any one of them in the 
Street, he never failed to do them some evil Trick, sometimes putting 
Dung in their Graduate Hoods, sometimes fastening little Fox-tails or 
Hare's-ears behind them, or some other Mischief. 

One day, when all the Theologians were appointed to meet in the 
Sorbonne 7 to sift and examine 8 the Articles of Faith, he composed a 
Bourbon Tart 9 of a quantity of Garlic, Galbanum, Asa-foetida, Castor- 
eum, and hot Dung, and steeped it in Matter from Sores, and very early 
in the Morning therewith smeared and anointed theologically all the 
Lattices of the Sorbonne, so that the Devil himself could not have endured 
it And all these good People laid all they had before the World, as 
though they had flayed the Fox, and ten or twelve of them died of the 
Plague, fourteen became Lepers, and eighteen became full of Gout, 10 and 
more than twenty-seven caught the Pox ; but he cared not a Rap for it 

He commonly carried a Whip under his Gown, with which he flogged 
without Mercy the Pages whom he found carrying Wine to their Masters, 
to help them on their Way. 

In his Cloak he had more than six-and-twenty little Fobs and Pockets, 

* et tkiologun* % ABC and Dolet. Om. D. 

5 Deus det nobis suam pacem, a com- 
mon termination of grace after meat 

• St. Antonys fire = erysipelas; L 13, 
and often in Rabelais. 

7 This was altered in the later editions 
(after 1534) into ayceulx (or aux maistres 
est arts) trouver en la rue du Feurre for 
prudential reasons. 

8 Fr. grabeler, from grabeau, a small 

substance, in pharmacy. C£ iii. 16: 
remettons a vostre retour le grabeau et 
btlutement de ces matieres (Littrl). 

9 Fr. Tartre Bourbonnaise. Holes 
made by the feet of cattle in dirty roads, 
which always nil with mud, etc There 
is, however, in Taillevent, the great cook 
of that period, a recipe for making Tartes 

10 pouacres, from Lat podagra. 


always full, one with some Lead-water, and a little Knife as sharp as a 
Glover's Needle, with which he cut Purses ; another with Verjuice, which 
he threw into the Eyes of those he met ; another with Burs winged with 
little Goose or Capon Feathers, which he would throw on the Gowns or 
Caps of honest People, and often he made them fair Horns, which they 
wore about the City, and sometimes all their Life ; for the Women also, upon 
their Hoods behind he put some made in the form of a man's Member. 

In another he had a quantity of little Horns full of fleas and Lice, 
• i. 37. n. 4- which he borrowed from the c Beggars of St. Innocent, and threw them 
with pretty little Reeds or Writing-quills on the Collars of the daintiest 
Gentlewomen he could find, and especially in Church ; for he never sat 
above in the Choir, but always stayed in the Nave among the Women, 
at Mass and at Vespers, as well as at the Sermon. 

In another he had a large store of Hooks and Buckles, 11 with which 
he often fastened together Men and Women in Companies where they 
were close packed together, and particularly those who wore Robes of 
crimson Taffeta, so that when they wished to go away they might rend 
all their Gowns. 

In another he kept a Tinder-box furnished with Tinder, Matches, 
Flint and every Apparatus required for his purpose ; in another he had 
two or three Burning-glasses, with which he sometimes made Men and 
Women mad, and put them quite out of Countenance in Church, for he 
said there was only an Antistrophe between 

Femme folk a la Messe 


Femme molle a la Fesse. 

In another he kept a lot of Needles and Thread, with which he 
perpetrated a thousand little Devil's Pranks. 

One-day 12 at 'the Entry of the Palace into the Great Hall, when a 
Cordelier was to say Mass to the Councillors, he helped to apparel him 
and put on his Vestments ; but in accoutring him, he sewed his Alb on 
to his Gown and Shirt, and then withdrew when the Lords of the Court 
took their Seats to hear the said Mass. But when it came to the Ite % 
Missa est™ and the poor Frater wished to divest himself of his Alb, he 


u Hooks > etc These tricks and mis- Merlin Coccai, Macck. v. (voL L pp. 150- 

chievous implements are very like those 152, ed. Portioli, 1882). 
spoken of in two stanzas from Morganie 

Afaggiore, whose Margutte was the model M It is only during the Octaves or the 

of Merlin Coccai's Cingar. See Appendix festivals of nine lessons that the Mass 

to this chapter. finishes with Be, missa est. Otherwise 

u This story is founded on a similar it ends with Berudicamus Domino or 

trick played by Cingar on Tognassus in Requuscant in Pact (Duchat). 

chap, xvi PANTAGRUEL 289 

took off with it Coat and Shirt as well, and so stripped himself to the 
Shoulders, shewing his Callibistris to all the World ; which undoubtedly 
was no small one. And the Prater kept on hauling, but so much the more 
did he uncover himself, until one of the Lords of the Court said : " How 
now ! doth this good Father wish to make us here an Offering of his 
Tail to kiss it? Let St. Antony's Fire kiss it?" From this time forth 
an Order was made that the poor Fathers should no longer unrobe in 
public, but in their Vestry, especially in the presence of Women ; for 
this would be to them an Occasion for the sin of Desire. 

And people asked why it is that the Fratres had their Cods so long. 
The said Panurge solved the Problem very neatly, saying : "That which 
makes Asses' Ears so long is because their Dams put no Biggin on their 
Head : as de Alliaco 14 states in his Suppositions. By Parity of Reason, 
what makes the Cods of the poor Fathers so long, is that they wear no 
bottomed Breeches, and their poor Member extends itself at Liberty 
with loosened Reins, and thus goes waggling down to their Knees as 
do Women's Beads. But the Cause why they do have it correspondingly 
large, is that in this waggling the Humours of the Body descend into 
the said Member ; for according to the Legists Agitation and continual 
Motion is the cause of Attraction. 

Item, he had another Pocket full of Feather alum, or itching Powder, 
whereof he threw some down the Backs of the Women, whom he noticed 
carrying their Heads the highest ; and so made them strip themselves 
before all the World; and others dance like a Cock upon hot Embers or 
a Drumstick on a Tabor, and others run wildly about the Streets ; and 
he would run after them ; and to such as were in the stripping vein he 
would offer to put his Cloak on their Back, like a courteous and gracious 

Item, in another Pocket he had a little leather-covered Flask full of 
old Oil, and when he met Woman or Man, who had some fine Robe or 
other, he would grease them and spoil all the finest Parts of them, under 
Pretence of touching them, saying : " Madam, this is good Cloth, this 
is good Satin, this is good Taffeta; God grant whatsoever your noble 
Heart desireth. You have a new Robe, a new Friend ; God keep you 
in it" Meantime he would put his Hand on their Collar, at which 
Touch the villainous Spot would remain there for ever, 

14 de Alliaco, Pierre d'Ailly of Com- Many of his theological writings have not 

piegne, 1350-1425, a Sorbonnist, Almoner been printed. Among the Suppositions 

and Confessor to Charles VI., Chancellor must be included the fnsoMilia. (C£ 

of University of Paris, Bishop of Cambray. iii. 30. ) 



In soch huge Characters of Blame, 
In Soul and Body, Name and Fame, 
The Devil could not blot the Shame. 

Then at last he would say to them: "Take heed of falling, good 
Madam, for there is here a filthy great Hole before 700." 

Another he had quite full of Euphorbium very finely powdered, 
wherein he would lay a fair Handkerchief curiously wrought, which he 
had stolen from the pretty Laundress of the Palace, while taking a Louse 
from off her Bosom, which, however, he had put there. And when he 
came into the Company of some fine Ladies, he would put them on the 
Discourse of fine Linen, and put his Hand into their Bosom, asking : 
*C£ Mtffcre, " And this d Work, is it of Flanders or of Hainault?" And then he would 
*"* * draw out his Handkerchief saying : " Hold, hold, see what Work is 
here ! it is of Foutignan or Fontarabia," and shake it very hard at their 
Nose, and make them sneeze for four Hours without ceasing. Mean- 
time he would f — t like a Horse, and the Women would laugh, saying : 
"How now, do you f— t, Panurge?" "I do not so, Madam," said he; 
" but I tune myself to the Counterpoint of the Music which you make 
with your Nose." 

In another he had a Picklock, a Forceps, 15 a Hook and some other 

Instruments, with which there was never a Door or Coffer he would not 

pick open. Another Pocket he had full of little Cups, 16 with which he 

• Ovid, Met. ri. played very cleverly; for he had his Fingers made expressly like e Minerva 

5 * 145 ' or Arachnfe, and had formerly been a Quack-salver. 17 And when he 

changed a Teston or any other piece of Money, the Changer would have 
been sharper than Master Mouche, 18 if Panurge had not each time 
caused to disappear five or six White pieces, 10 visibly, openly, mani- 
festly, without making any Lesion or Wound of any kind, of which the 
Changer could feel anything but the Wind. 

" Picklock, etc. Rabelais uses words II jouer* mieulx que meittxe Mouche 

for dentist's instruments. Qui me prendra en dewroy ! 

M Fr. gobelctSy cups for thimblerigging. Coqaflbut, Monologue dot Porruqnts. 

17 Fr. avoitcriile TMriacle. 

M Master Mouche. ItaL maestro u Fr. grand bianco sou toumois = 

Muccio. Cf. iii. 15. " deniers. 




Morgante s* accompagna con Margutte 
Gran professor di cose inique e brutte. 

St. 132 

Or queste son tre virtii cardinale 
La gola, e '1 culo, e '1 dado ch* io t 9 ho detto, 
Odi la quarta ch' e la principale, 
Accib che ben si sgoccioli barletto : 
Non vi bisogna uncin nfc porre scale, 
Dove con mano aggiungo, ti prometto : 
E mitere da Papi ho gi£ portate 
Col segna in testo, e drieto le granate, 

E trapani, e paletti, e lime sorde, 

E succhi d* ogni fatta, e grimaldelli 

E scale, o vuoi di legno o vuoi di corde, 

E levane, e calcetti di feltrelli, 

Che fanno, quand' io vo, ch' ognuno assorde 

Lavore di mia man puliti e belli ; 

E fuoco, che per se lume non rende, 

Ma collo sputo a mia posta s' accende. 

Alter erat Baldi compagnus, nomine Cingar, 
Accortus, ladro, semper tniffare paratus. 
Scarnus enim facie, reliquo sed corpore nervis 
Plenus, compressus, picolinus, brunus et atrox. 



Semper habens nudam testam, rizzutus et asper. 
Iste suam traxit Marguti a sanguine razzam, 
Qui ad calcagnos sperones ut gallus habebat, 
Et nimio risu, simia cagante, morivit 

• • • • • 

Is igitur Cingar Marguti semine venit, 
Qui patris mores imitatur in arte robandi. 
Perfectus latro, promptus, mala guida viarum, 
Namque viandantes in boscos saepe vehebat 
Ipsius arte, bonum pensantes esse caminum. 
Portabat semper ladro post terga sachellam 
Sgaraboldellis plenam, surdisque tanais, 
Cum quibus obscura pingues de nocte botegas 
Ingreditur, caricatque suos de merce sodales. 
Ut gattus saltat, guizzat, sgrafinat, et omnes 
Altaras spojat, gesias quum cemit apertas. 
O quoties quoties capsettam sgardinat illam, 
In qua offerre solent homines devote quattrinos ! 
Non scelus in mundo quod non commiserit iste. 
Tres voltas jam jam forcas montaverat altas, 
Sed lazzo vinctus, manigoldo stante dedretum, 
Multimodis illos scampabat saepe bricones, 
Intrepidusque suam primam rediebat ad artem. 
Si quandoque, licet raro, pergebat ad urbem, 
Protinus a cuncta manifestos gente, per omnes 
Exclamabatur contradas : ecce gajoffus 
Ecce diavol adest, meritat qui mille fiatas 
Suspendi furchae, vel debita solvere chiappis. 
Quisque ravanellum dabat illi, sive botonem. 
Alter eum dicit spoliasse altaria templi, 
Alter presbitero chierigam rupisse tracagno, 
Atque capellano calicem rapuisse doratum. 
Alter et accusat : verzas non lassat in hortis.' 
Alter ait : multa robavit fraude cavallam, 
Ac de gallinis polaria multa vodavit. 
Ille sed immotam frontem tenet atque bravosam ; 
Quemquam non metuit, post omnes immo petezat 
Plus quam compagnos alios hunc Baldus amabat 

Merlin Coccai, Macch. ii. sub fin. 


How Panurge gained the Pardons and married the old Women; 
and of the Law-suits which he had in Paris 

One day I found 1 Panurge somewhat out of spirits 2 and silent, and 
I doubted much that he had never a Penny; whereupon I said to 

"Panurge, you are sick, by what I see in your Physiognomy, and 
I understand the Ailment. You have a Flux in your Purse ; but take 
no Care thereat ; I have still 

six Sols and a half 
Which neither Father nor Mother ever saw, 8 

which shall no more fail you in your Need than the Pox." 

Whereto he answered me: "That for your Money; some day I 
shall have only too much, for I have a Philosopher's Stone which 
draws to me Money out of men's Purses, as the Loadstone draws the 
Iron. — But will you come and gain the Pardons ? " said he. 

"By my Faith," I answer him, " I am not a great Pardoner in this 
World here ; I know not if I shall be in the other. Well, let us go 
a 1 God's Name ; it is but a Penny, neither more nor less." 
"But," said he, "lend me a Penny then at Interest" 
" Not at all, not at all," said I, " I give it you heartily." 
" Grates vobis Dominos? said he. 

And so we went, beginning at Saint Gervais, and I got the Pardons 
at the first Box only, for in these Matters I am content with little. 
Then I said my small Suffrages and the Prayers of St Bridget ; but he 

1 1 found, etc. One of the few chapters, * From Patelin (216, 217). De Marsy 

oat of the Fifth Book, in which Rabelais quotes Virg. Eel. iii. 32-34 : 

introduces himself as a speaker. Dc gx^ noo »«sim qaidquam depemew tecum 

1 Fr. eseornJ, like an animal that has E, t ^j namqu e domi pater, est injusta noverca 
lost his horns. Bisque die numerant junbo pecus, alter et haedos. 



book n 

gained Pardons at all the Boxes and always gave Money to each of 
the Pardoners. 4 

From there we betook ourselves to Our Lady's Church, to St 
John's, to St. Antony's, and so to the other Churches where there 
was a Bank of Pardons. 6 For my part I gained no more Pardons 
thereat; but as for him, he kissed the Relics at all the Boxes, and 
gave at every one. 
• cr. u. 6. In short, when we had returned he took me to drink at the * Castle 
Tavern, and shewed me ten or twelve of his Fobs full of Money. 

Upon this I blessed myself, making the Sign of the Cross, and 
saying : "Whence have you obtained so much Money, and in so short 
a Time ? " To which he answered me that he had taken it out of the 
Basons of the Pardons ; * " For in giving them the first Denier," he said, 
" I placed it so dexterously that it seemed as though it was a great White 
piece. And so with one Hand I took a dozen Deniers, nay even a 
dozen Liards, 7 or Doubles at the least, and with the other Hand three 
or four Dozens, and so' on through all the Churches where we have 

" Nay, but," said I, " you damn yourself like a Serpent, 8 and you 
are a Thief and a sacrilegious Person," 

11 Yes indeed," said he, "as it seems to you ; but to me, for my part, 
it does not seem so ; for the Pardoners give it to me, when they say 
to me in offering the Relics to kiss : Ceniuplum accipies ; that is, for 
one Denier I am to take a hundred; for accipies is said after the 
manner of the Hebrews, who use the future instead of the imperative; 
as you have in the Law : % Diliges DominumJ id est i Dilige.\ 

11 So when the Pardon-bearer saith to me Ceniuplum accipies, he 
means to say Ceniuplum accipe 9 and so is it expounded by Rabbi Kimi 
and Rabbi Aben Ezra 10 and all the Massorets, et tin Bariolus. 

"Moreover, Pope Sixtus gave me fifteen hundred Francs Pension 
upon his Domain and ecclesiastical Treasure, for having healed him 

4 Cf. Chaucer's " Pardonere's Tale. 1 ' 

1 lAt/ermm wdrnffmiianm. 

9 C£ Erasmus, Coiloq. (152a) (P*r*> 
grinatw Rcligimts trgo) : " Sunt quidam 
adeo dediti sanctissimae Virgini, ut dum 
simulant sese munus imponere altari, 
mira dexteritate suffurentur quod alius 
posuerat." Cf. Ptmck : " How much did 
you get out of the Bag, Mamma? I only 
got sixpence." 

r 3 deniers = 1 Hard ; 10 deniers = 
1 blanc. 

8 damnes comme mm* serpe (Hi. 22). 
iv. 8 [has tu U damms towmu mm vial 
diable, which makes it unlikely that serpe 
means here ' pruning-hook.* .£0^* is used 
in Provencal for serpent (Littre), 

9 This point in Hebrew grammar is 

19 jft^^.Exrtt, a cdebrited Spanish 

Rabbi of the 12th century (R.) 

chap, xvii PANTAGRUEL 295 

of a cankerous Botch which tormented him so much that he thought 
to have become a Cripple all his Life. 11 So I pay myself with my own 
Hands from the said ecclesiastical Treasure, for otherwise he is not 
like to pay me. 

" Ho, my Friend," said he, " if thou didst but know how I made my 
Cabbages fat by the Crusade, thou wouldst be right well astonished. 
It was worth to me more than six thousand Florins." 

"And where the Devil are they gone?' 1 said I, "for thou hast not 
a single Halfpenny left." 

"Gone whence they came," said he; "they did nothing but change 

" But I employed at least three thousand of them in marrying u — 
not the young Maids, for they find but too many Husbands, but great 
old sempiternal Trots who had not a Tooth in their Head. I con- 
sidered thus: 'These good Women here have right well employed 
their Time in their Youth, and have played the close-buttock Game 
with Stern hoisted to all Comers, until none would any more of 
them, and by Heaven I will have them ransacked once more before 
they die.' 

" By this means, to one I gave a hundred Florins, to another six 
score, to another three hundred, according as they were infamous, 
detestable and abominable; for the more they were horrible and 
execrable, the greater Need there was to give them more Money; 
otherwise the Devil himself would not have biscotted them. 

" Presently 1 went off to some great fat Faggot-carrier and myself 
made the Match ; but before I shewed him the Old Hags, I shewed 
him the Crowns, saying : ' Gossip, see what is thine here, if thou wilt 
rattle-tattle it one good Bout' Straightway the poor Rogues were 
wide agape like old Mules. So I caused to be prepared for them a 
Banquet and Drink of the best, and good store of Spiceries to put 
the old Women in Rut and Heat To end the Story, they laboured 
like all good Souls, except that for those Women who were horribly 
ugly and ill-favoured I had a Bag put on their Face. 

"Furthermore, I have had many Losses in Law-suits." 

" And what Law-suits couldst thou have had ? " said I. " Thou hast 
neither House nor Land." 

"My Friend," said he, "the Gentlewomen of this Town had found 

11 Pointing in the same direction is IV., pontifex maximus, Romae nobile 

the following extract from Corn. Agrippa, admodum Iupanar exstruxit." Cf. ii. 30, 

D* vanit. scient. c. 64 {De Unonid) : u This is from Herodotus, i. 196 (of 

" Sed et recentioribtts temporibus Sixtus the Babylonians). 


out by the Instigation of the Devil of Hell 18 a Manner of Neckerchief 
* cf.iL7.11.xa. or b high-mounted Gorgets, which did so closely hide their Bosoms 
that a man could no longer put his Hand beneath ; for the Opening 
thereof they had put behind, and they were wholly closed in Front ; 
whereat the poor Lovers, dolent and contemplative, were in no wise 
contented. One fine Tuesday I presented a Petition to the Court, 
making myself a Party to a Suit against the said Gentlewomen, setting 
forth the great Prejudice that I had therein, protesting that by the 
same Reason I would have the Cod-piece of my Breeches sewed on 
behind, if the Court did not give Order for it. To sum up all, the 
Gentlewomen formed a Syndicate, shewed their Grounds of Action, 
and appointed Attorneys to defend their Cause ; but I followed them 
up so vigorously that it was decreed by Injunction of the Court, that 
these high Gorgets should no longer be worn, unless they were a little 
slit open in front. But it cost me much. 

" I had also another Suit, very filthy and very dirty, against Master 
Fyfy M and his Assistants, that they should no more read The Pipe, 
The Puncheon, nor the Quart of Sentences clandestinely by Night, 
but in full Face of fair Day, and that in the Schools of the Sorbonne 
before all the Theologians ; 16 in this Suit I was condemned in Costs, 
for some Informality in the Return of the Writ by the Sergeant 

" Another time I formulated a Complaint to the Court against the 
Mules of the Presidents and Counsellors and others, to the Purport 
that when, in the Base Court of the Palace, they were left to champ 
their Bits, the Counsellors should make for them fine Bibs, so that 
they should not spoil the Pavement with their Slaver, to the end that 
the Pages of the Palace might play thereon with fair Dice, or at Cops- 
body 16 at their Ease, without spoiling their Breeches at the Knees. 
And for this I had a fine Sentence, but it cost me a good deaL 

" Now at this time reckon up how much the little Banquets cost me, 
which I give to the Pages of the Palace from day to day." 

11 si guts suadente Diabcb, etc Augustine, Ambrose, Hilary and Cassio- 

14 Master Fyfy seems to be the slang dorus (Mullinger, Hist. Univ. Camb. 

name for a jakes-farmer, and it is Rabelais' i. p. 59). 

intention here to compare with such an 1B The editions are here very much 

occupation the reading of the Sentences at variance. I have adopted the reading 

of Petrus Lombardus (Archbishop of of Dolet as representing probably what 

Paris in 1159). This was the theo- was published by Rabelais in the first 

logical text -book for three centuries, instance before he found it prudent to 

The Sententiae are in four Books almost make alterations. 

entirely derived from the writings of w renigue Men. This was one of the 

the four Fathers of the Latin Church — games of Gargantua (i. 22). 


chap, xvii PANTAGRUEL 297 

" And to what End ? " said L 

"My Friend," said he, "thou hast no Pastime whatever in this 
World. I have more than the King, and if thou wouldst join thyself 
with me, we would play the DeviL" 

"No, no," said I, "by Saint Adauras, 17 for thou wilt be hanged one 

"And thou," said he, "thou wilt be interred some Day. Whether 
is more to your Honour, the Air or the Earth ? 18 Ho, dull Beast 1 

"Whiles that the Pages are banqueting, I keep their Mules, and 
I cut one of the Stirrup-leathers on the Mounting-side, so that it only 
holds by a Thread. When some great bloated Counsellor, or other, 
has taken his Swing to get up, they fall flat down like Hogs before 
everybody, and afford more than a hundred Francs' worth of Laughter. 
But what I laugh at still more, is that when they have got home they 
have master Page whipped like green Rye. 10 So it comes, that I do 
not complain of the Cost I have made in feasting them.'' 

The End of the Reckoning is, that he had, as I said, sixty-three 
Methods of recovering Money ; but he had two hundred and fourteen 
Ways of spending — setting aside the Repairs required under his 
Nose. 80 

v St. Adauras. Coined by Rabelais " Because, being green, it requires 

from Lat. adauras. more threshing to get it out of the 

u dXX' e/f VTavpbr Ka&ijXdxreit 4j <tk6\oti husk. 
wi^gcu ; rl Qeodibpy /iAei mfrepor inrkp * i.e. eating and drinking — no small 

yqi 4 fori 7*7* <r^Terai ; (Plut. Mor. 499 d). item. 


How a great Scholar of England wished to argue against 
Pantagruel and was overcome by Panurge 

• Pkacdr. 350 d. 

In these same Days a learned Man named Thaumast, 1 hearing the Fame 
and Renown of the incomparable Knowledge of Pantagruel, came from 
the Land of England, with the sole Intention of seeing and knowing 
him, and to prove if his Knowledge was such as it was renowned to be. 

Accordingly, when he had arrived in Paris, he betook himself to the 
House of the said Pantagruel, who was lodged at the Palace of St 
Denis, and at that time was walking in the Garden with Panurge, and 
was philosophising after the fashion of the Peripatetics. 

At his first Entrance he quite started with Fear, when he saw him so 
tall and great ; then he saluted him courteously, as the Fashion is, and 

"Very true it is, saith * Plato, Prince of Philosophers, that if the 
Image of Knowledge and Wisdom were corporeal and visible to the 
Eyes of Men, it would stir the whole World in Admiration of it ; for 
merely the Report of it scattered in the Air, if it be received in the Ears 
of the Studious and of those who are Lovers thereof, called Philo- 
sophers, doth not suffer them to sleep or rest at Ease, so much doth it 
spur and inflame them to run to the Place, and see the Person in whom 
Knowledge is said to have set up her Temple, and to utter her Oracles. 

1 Thaumast {Qav/iaarbt) has been 
identified with Sir Thomas More. Bede 
also has been suggested, whose book de 
nunuris et signis is quoted in this chapter, 
and probably alluded to at the end of the 
twentieth chapter, where it is stated that 
Thaumast made a great book on the sig- 
nification of signs, printed at London. 
But in 1525 More's European reputation 

was at its height as the author of Utopia 
and the Refutation of the Lutherans. He 
visited various foreign universities, and at 
Bruges gained much applause by putting 
down a challenger in omni scihili et quoli- 
bet ente, by the question taken from the 
common law jargon: an averia carucae 
capta in vetito sint irreplegibilia (Camp- 
bell's Chancellors % i. p. 531). 




• Diog. Laert. 

• Id. villi, §3; 
Porph. V. P. 1 7. 

• Diog. Laert. 
iii. x, % 8. 

t PhUostr.y.A. 
u. 42-111. xo. 

> V. 42. 


"It was manifestly demonstrated to us in the b Queen of Sheba, b x Kings x.1-13. 
who came from the uttermost Parts of the East and the Persian Sea, to 
behold the Order of the House of the wise Solomon, and to hear his 
Wisdom ; 

" In c Anacharsis, who from Scythia went even unto Athens, to see 

" In d Pythagoras, who visited the Soothsayers of Memphis ; 

"In e Plato, who visited the Magi of Egypt and Archytas of 
Tarentum ; 

" In f Apollonius of Tyana, who went as far as Mount Caucasus, 
passed through the Scythians, the Massagetae, the Indians, navigated 
the great River Physon 2 as far as the Brahmans, to see g Hiarchas ; and 
travelled in Babylonia, Chaldaea, Media, Assyria, Parthia, Syria, Phoe- 
nicia, Arabia, Palestine, Alexandria even unto Aethiopia, to see the 

"A like Example have we in the case of h Titus Livius, to see and ^Piin.^>. u.3, 
hear whom, several Studious persons came to Rome from the Confines 
of France and Spain. 

" I dare not count myself in the Number and Rank of those so 
perfect Men ; but I wish indeed to be called studious and a Lover, not 
only of Letters, but also of lettered Men. 

" In fact, hearing the Report of thy so inestimable Knowledge, I 
have left Country, Kindred and Home, and have betaken myself hither, 
making no Account of the Length of the Way, the Tediousness of the 
Sea, the Strangeness of the Countries, only to see thee and to confer 
with thee on certain Passages of Philosophy, of Geomancy, and the 
Cabala, on which I am in Doubt and cannot satisfy my Mind ; 8 the 
which if thou canst solve for me, I render myself henceforth as thy 
Slave, myself and all my Posterity, for other Gift have I none which I 
should esteem sufficient as a Recompense. 

" I will reduce them into Writing, and to-morrow will make them 
known to all the Learned People in the City, to the end that we may 
publicly dispute on them. But this is the Manner in which I propose 
that we shall dispute : 

9 The Physon (i. 8) seems to be iden- 
tified here with the Hyphasis. Cf. Phil. 
V.A. iii 1. 

* With this may be compared Rabe- 
lais' own purpose and procedure when in 
Rome. In his Latin letter of dedication 
to John du Bellay, Bishop of Paris, dated 
Lyons 1534 (after his first visit to Rome 

with the Bishop), occurs the following 
passage: "Statueram enim primum 
quidem viros doctos, qui iis in locis jac- 
tationem haberent, per quae nobis via 
esset, convenire conferreque cum eis 
familiariter, et audire de ambiguis aliquot 
problematis, quae me anxium jamdiu 


" I do not wish to dispute pro and contra^ as do the foolish Sophists 
of this Town and elsewhere ; likewise I do not wish to dispute after the 
manner of the Academics by Declamation, nor again by Numbers as 
did Pythagoras, and as Picus Mirandula 4 wished to do at Rome ; but I 
wish to dispute by Signs only, without speaking ; for the Matters are so 
difficult that human Words would not be sufficient to explain them to 
my Liking. 

" Wherefore, may it please your Magnificence to meet me. It will 
be in the Great Hall of Navarre 6 at seven of the Clock in the 

When he had spoken these Words, Pantagruel said to him in 
courteous Terms : 

" Sir, of the Graces which God hath given me, I would not refuse 
to communicate to any one to the best of my Power ; for all Good 
comes from Him, and His pleasure is that it should be multiplied, when 
we come among Men who are worthy and fit to receive this celestial 
Manna of honourable Knowledge ; in the Number of whom, because at 
this Time, as I do well perceive, thou holdest the first Rank, I make 
known unto thee that at all Hours thou shalt find me ready to be 
obedient to each of thy Requests, according to my small Ability, 
although I should rather learn from thee than thou from me ; but, as 
thou hast openly proposed, we will confer together on thy Doubts, and 
seek the Resolution thereof to the very Bottom of the inexhaustible 
Well wherein Heraclitus declared Truth to be concealed. 6 

" And I do greatly commend the Manner of arguing which thou hast 
proposed, to wit, by Signs without speaking ; for in so doing thou and 
I shall understand each other, and shall be clear of those Clappings 
of Hands which are made by those doltish Sophists at a Dispute, 
when one has the better of the Argument. 

" Therefore to-morrow I will not fail to appear at the Place and 
Hour which thou hast appointed ; but I beg that between us there be 
neither Debate nor Tumult, and that we seek not Honour nor Applause 
of Men, but the Truth only." 

4 Pico della Mirandola, ii. 10 (1463- foremost foundation of the University of 

1494), had a most extraordinary memory. Paris. Cf. Mullinger, Hist. Univ. Comb. 

He could repeat in the same order or i. 127, 128. 

backwards 2000 words, or 900 verses, * Democritus is the author of this dit- 

after hearing them once. turn, not Heraclitus. Rabelais makes the 

* i.e. of the College of Navarre (L 16), same mistake in iii. 36. The phrase is 

founded by Jeanne of Navarre, consort of h-ej W oitiir tdfur • h flv$$ ybp ^ dX^eta 

Philippe the Fair, in 1305. Throughout (Diog. Laert. ix. § 72). C£ Cic Acad. 

the 14th and 15th centuries it was the pr. i. 12, § 44 ; it 10, § 32. 





Whereto Thaumast answered: "My Lord, I pray that God may 
keep thee in His Grace; thanking thee, for that thy Highness and 
Magnificence is pleased to condescend so much to my poor Baseness. 
So adieu till to-morrow." 

" Adieu/' said PantagrueL 

Gentlemen, you that do read this present Discourse, think that 
never were Men more elevated and transported in Thought than these 
were all that Night, Thaumast as well as Pantagruel; for the said 
Thaumast said to the Housekeeper of the Hotel of Cluny, where he 
was lodged, that all his Life he had never found himself so thirsty as he 
was that Night : " It seemed to me," said he, "that Pantagruel held me 
by the Throat Give order, I pray you, that we may drink, and see to 
it that we have fresh Water, to gargle my Palate." 

On the other side, Pantagruel busied himself with deep Thoughts, and 
all Night long did nothing but dote upon 

The Book of Beda, De Numeris et Signis? 

The Treatise of Plotinus, De Inenarrabilibus? 

The Treatise of Proclus, De Magia* 

The Books of Artemidorus, irepl 'OveipoKpiritc&v, 10 

Of Anaxagoras, irepl Xrjpeloov, 

Dinarius, irepl 9 A<f>dra>v f 

The Books of Philistion, 

Hipponax, irepl 'Avc/c^gw^t©!/, 11 
and a Rabble of others, insomuch that Panurge said to him : " My 
Lord, leave these Thoughts and go to Bed ; for I find you so troubled 
in your Spirits that you would soon fall into some quotidian Fever by 
this Excess of Thought. But first drink some five-and-twenty or thirty 
good Draughts, and then retire and sleep at your Ease; for in the 
Morning I will answer and argue against Messer the Englishman ; and 
in case I do not bring him ad metam non loqui % then call me Knave." 

" Nay, but, Panurge my Friend," said Pantagruel, " he is marvel- 
lously learned ; how wilt thou be able to satisfy him ? " 

7 The title is de Coinputo seu indigiti- 
tanone et de loquela manuali per gestum 
digitorum (Venice 1525). 

Plotinus. This treatise is probably 
the 43d according to Porphyry's enumer- 
ation, Ennead. v. 3, especially p. 510 (xliii. 
12-13 Kirchhoff): repl r(aw ywvptoriKuy 
farooT&eew kcU rod braccum. 

• Proclus. Cf. i. 10, n. 6. 

10 Artemidorus Daldianus lived in the 

time of Antoninus Pius. His treatise on 
The Interpretation 0/ Dreams is still extant 
in five Books (Teubner 1864). It is 
interesting as having furnished materials 
for most of the fortune-telling books that 
have appeared since, especially those of 
the Middle Ages. It has been translated 
into Italian, German and Dutch. 

n Anaxagoras, Dinarius, etc. The last 
four treatises of this list are not now known. 


"Very easily," answered Panurge ; " I pray you, speak no more of it 
and leave it to me. Is there any Man so learned as the Devils are?" 

" No indeed," said Pantagruel, " without God's special Grace." 

"And for all that," said Panurge, "I have many times argued 
against them, and snubbed them, and put them on their Beam-ends. 
, Wherefore be assured concerning this vainglorious Englishman, that I 
will make him void Vinegar to-morrow before all the World." 

So Panurge passed the Night hobnobbing with the Pages, and playing 
i i. ss. away all the Points of his Hose at x Primus and Sccundus and at J Pushpin. 

And when the Hour appointed came, he conducted his Master 
Pantagruel to the Place set apart, and you may make bold to believe 
that there was no one in Paris, small or great, who came not thither ; 
thinking within themselves : " This Devil of a Pantagruel, who has over- 
come all the doting Ninnies of Sophists, 12 will be paid Scot and Lot 1S 
to-day, for this Englishman is another Devil of Vauvert 14 We shall see 
who will get the best of it" 

So everybody being assembled, Thaumast waited for them, and when 
Pantagruel and Panurge arrived in the Hall, all the Scholars, Graduates 
and Deputies 15 began to clap their Hands, as is their doltish Custom. 

But Pantagruel cried out with a loud Voice, as if it had been the 
Sound of a double Cannon, saying : " Peace ! Devil take you, Peace ! by 
Heaven, you Rogues, if you trouble me here, I will cut off your Heads, 
every one of you." 

At these Words they all remained astonished like Ducks, and dared 
not even Cough, nay even if they had eaten fifteen Pounds of Feathers ; 
and they were so smitten with Thirst by this single Cry, that they lolled 
their Tongue half a Foot out of their Mouths, as if Pantagruel had 
salted their Throats. 

Then began Panurge to speak, saying to the Englishman : " Sir, are 
you come here to dispute contentiously concerning these Propositions 
which you have put down, or rather to learn and know the Truth 
thereof? " 

To which Thaumast answered: "Sir, no other Matter brings me 
here save honest Desire to learn and know that of which I have doubted 
all my Life, and wherein I have found neither Book nor Man who has 

u The first edition reads torn Us Sot- been haunted by evil spirits ; afterwards 

bcnuoUs. u Fr. aura son vin. the name Enfer remained with the street 

14 Vauvert was a palace built by King where it was located. The Observatoire 

Robert, son of Hugh Capet, at the end of now occupies the site, 

the ioth century, and given by St Louis u Fr. Grimaux, Aniens et Intrans. 

to the Carthusians. Before this it had See Du Cange. 




satisfied me in the Resolution of the Doubts which I have proposed. 
And as for disputing contentiously, I will not so do ; for it is a Thing 
too base, and I leave it to these rascal Sophists, 10 who in their Disputa- 
tions seek not Truth but Contradiction and Debate." 

" Then," said Panurge, " if I, who am but a puny Disciple of my 
Master the Lord Pantagruel, content and satisfy you in all and every 
Point, it would be an unworthy Thing to trouble 17 my said Master 
therewith ; wherefore it will be more fitting that he be President, judg- 
ing of our Discourse, and contenting you over and above, if it seemeth 
to you that I have not satisfied your studious Desire." 

" Verily," said Thaumast, "it is well said Begin then." 
Now you should note that Panurge had put at the End of his long 
Cod-piece a fine Tuft of Silk, red, white, green and blue, and within it 
had put a fair Orange. 18 

M After the word Sophists follow in 
the edition of 1534 the words sorbillans, 
sorbonagres, sorbonigenes, sorbonicoles, 
sorboniformes, sorbonisecques, niborcisans, 
scrbonisanSy saniborsans. These were re- 
produced by Dolet with the variant bor- 
scnisants, sabomisants for the last two 
words. This, Duchat says, was repaid to 
the learned printer in faggots. 

17 empescher, Lat impechiare = im- 
peach (Da Cange). 

u Orange, as a present to some lady. 
According to an extract from Guyon 
(Diverse* Lections, ii. 4), quoted by 
Duchat, it appears that the dress of the 
French at this time was so close-fitting 
that they were obliged to use their cod- 
pieces as pockets, and that it was not an 
unusual thing to keep fruit there for a 
present to a lady at dessert The refusal 
of Arabella Allen to accept Bob Sawyer's 
apple will occur to readers of Pickwick. 


How Panurge put to a Nonplus the Englishman 

who argued by Signs 1 

Then, every one attending and listening in perfect Silence, the English- 
man lifted high in the Air his two Hands separately, clinching all the 
Extremities of his Fingers in the form which they call in Chinonnais 
the Hen's Rump, and struck one against the other by the Nails four 
Times ; then he opened them, and so with one struck the other flat- 
handed with a smacking Noise, once. Again joining them as before, he 
struck them twice, and afterwards opening them, four Times ; then he 
put them forth joined together, and extended one against the other, as 
seeming to pray devoutly to God. 

Panurge suddenly raised in the Air his right Hand, then placed its 
Thumb within his Nostril on that Side, holding the four Fingers extended 
and closed in their order in a Line parallel with the Gristle of the 
Nose, shutting the left Eye entirely, and blinking with the right with a 
profound Depression of the Eyebrow and Lid ; then he raised the left 
Hand aloft with hard Clinching and Extension of the four Fingers and 
Elevation of the Thumb, and he held it in a Line directly corresponding 
to the Position of the right Hand, with a Distance between them of a 
Cubit and a half. This done, in like form he lowered towards the 
Earth both one and the other Hand; lastly, he held them in the Midst 
as though he were aiming straight at the Nose of the Englishman. 

1 In Accursius (gloss Dig. i. tit 2, de 
Orig. Juris) there is a story of a similar 
argumentation by signs between a Greek 
philosopher in Rome and a madman. 
The frantic actions of the latter were 
taken by the wise man as so many learned 
arguments (Duchat). Motteux has illus- 
trated the controversy by an anecdote 

in point, to be found in Le Moyen de 
Parvtnir, § ioo, Attestation. Rabelais 
may also be indebted to Lucian, de 
Saltation*, cc. 62, 63 (in which the 
mimetic power of dancing is exemplified), 
especially as he does use c. 64 in iii. 19 to 
illustrate a similar point Speaking by signs 
could be well exemplified in modern Naples. 

chap, xix PANTAGRUEL 305 

" And if Mercury " said the Englishman. 

Upon this Panurge interrupted, saying : " You have spoken, Mask." 

Then the Englishman made a Sign like this : His left Hand wide 
open he raised high in the Air, then closed into his Fist the four Fingers 
thereof, and placed the Thumb extended on the Gristle of his Nose. 
Suddenly afterwards he raised the Right wide open, and while wide open 
lowered it, joining the Thumb at the Place where the little Finger of 
the left Hand closed, and the four Fingers thereof he moved slowly 
in the Air; then reversing them, he did with the Right what he had 
done with the Left, and with the Left what he had done with the 

Panurge, no whit astonished at this, drew out in the Air his thrice- 
huge Cod-piece with his left Hand, and with his Right drew therefrom 
a Piece of white Ox-rib and two Pieces of Wood of like Shape, one of 
black Ebony, the other of red Brasil-wood, and put them between the 
Fingers thereof, symmetrically arranged, and knocking them together 
made a Noise, such as is made by the Lepers s in Brittany with their 
Rattles, better sounding, however, and more harmonious ; and with his 
Tongue drawn within his Mouth did merrily warble, ever looking at the 

The Theologians, Physicians and Surgeons thought that by this Sign 
he inferred that the Englishman was a Leper. 

The Counsellors, Lawyers, and Decretalists thought that in so doing 
he wished to conclude that some Kind of human Felicity consisted in a 
state of Leprosy, as the Lord maintained * formerly. • Luc. xvii 15. 

The Englishman for all this was not daunted, but lifting his two 
Hands in the Air, held them in such form that he closed the three 
Master Fingers on his Fist, and passed the Thumbs between the Index 
and the Middle Fingers, and so the Auricular 8 Fingers remained fully 
extended ; and thus he presented them to Panurge, and then put them 
together, so that the right Thumb touched the left, and the left little 
Finger touched the right 

Upon this Panurge, without saying a Word, raised his Hands, and 
therewith made the following Sign. He joined the Nail of the Index 
Finger to the Nail of the Thumb of his left Hand, making in the 
Interval between as it were a Buckle ; and of his right Hand he closed 
all the Fingers on his Fist except the Index, which he thrust in and 
drew out frequently between the two other aforesaid Fingers of his left 
Hand Then he extended the Index and the Middle Fingers of his 

1 Lepers had to announce their proximity by rattles. * Auricular = little finger. 


Right, keeping them apart as far as he could, and thrusting them to- 
wards Thaumast Then he put the Thumb of his left Hand on the 
Comer of his left Eye, extending the whole Hand like the Wing of 
a Bird or the Fin of a Fish, and moving it very daintily this way and 
that ; the same he did with the right Hand on the Corner of the right 

Thaumast began to grow pale and to tremble, and made him a Sign 
of this kind With his right Hand he struck the middle Finger against 
the Muscle of the Palm, 4 which is below the Thumb, then he put the 
Index Finger in a Buckle, like the former one of his left Hand ; only he 
put it in from below, and not from above, as did Panurge. 

Then Panurge struck one Hand against the other, and whistled 
in the Palm. 6 This done, he again thrust the Index Finger of the 
Right into the Buckle of the Left, thrusting and drawing it in and 
out many times. Then he put out his Chin, looking intently at 

The People, who understood nothing of these Signs, understood very 
well that in this he asked Thaumast without saying a word : " What do 
you mean by that?" 

In fact Thaumast began to sweat in great Drops, and seemed very 
like a Man who was ravished in high Contemplation. Then he be- 
thought himself, and put all the Nails of his left Hand against those of 
the Right, opening the Fingers as though they had been semicircles, 
and in making this Sign raised his Hands as high he could. 

Upon this Panurge suddenly put the Thumb of his right Hand under 
his Jaws, and the Auricular Finger thereof into the Buckle of the Left ; 
and at this point made his Teeth sound very melodiously, the lower 
against the upper. 

Thaumast with great Distress arose, but in rising he let a great 
Baker's f — t, for the Bran came after, and he voided Vinegar very 
strong, and stank like all the Devils. The Company began to stop 
their Noses, for he was bewraying himself for very Anguish. Then he 
raised his right Hand, closing it in such fashion that he brought together 
all the Ends of his Fingers, and placed the left Hand quite flat upon his 

At this Panurge drew out his long Cod-piece with its Tuft, and 
stretched it forth a Cubit and a half, and held it in the Air with his left 
Hand, and with the Right took his Orange, and throwing it in the Air 

4 Fr. vole (Lat vola) y palm of the (i. 6). It is either to whistle with the 
hand. fingers in the mouth, or with fingers and 

B This is called huscher en paultru fist so disposed as to make a whistle. 

chap, xix PANTAGRUEL 307 

seven times, at the eighth time hid it in the Fist of his Right, holding it 
aloft quite calmly ; then he began to shake his fine Cod-piece, showing 
it to Thaumast 

After that Thaumast began to blow out his two Cheeks like a Bag- 
piper, and puffed as though he were blowing up a Pig's Bladder. 

Whereat Panurge put one Finger of his left Hand on his Nockand- 
row, and with his Mouth sucked in the Air as a man does when eating 
b Oysters in the Shell, or when supping Broth ; this done, he opened b "• 9* ss- 
his Mouth slightly, and with the Flat of his right Hand struck thereon, 
so making a great deep Noise, as though it came from the Surface of 
the Diaphragm through the Trachean Artery, 6 and this he did sixteen 

But Thaumast kept ever blowing like a Goose. 

Then Panurge put the Index Finger of his right Hand into his 
Mouth, pressing it very hard with the Muscles thereof. Then he drew 
it out, and in so doing made a great Noise, as when little Boys shoot 
Turnip Pellets out of a Cannon of Elderwood, and this he did nine 

Then Thaumast cried out: "Ha, my Masters, the great Secret! 
He has put his Hand in up to the Elbow." Then he drew a Dagger 
which he had, holding it point downwards. 

Whereat Panurge took his long Cod-piece and shook it as hard as he 
could against his Thighs ; then he put his two Hands bound together in 
form of a Comb (" pectinated," Sir T. Browne) upon his Head, putting 
out his Tongue as far as he could, and turning his Eyes in his Head, 
like a She-goat at point of Death. 

"Ha, I understand," said Thaumast, "but what?" making a Sign 
such as this ; he put the Handle of his Dagger against his Chest, and 
on the Point he placed the Flat of his Hand, turning in some little the 
End of his Fingers. 

Whereupon Panurge held his Head down on the Left Side, and put 
his Middle Finger into his right Ear, holding his Thumb straight up- 
wards. Then he crossed his two Arms on his Chest, coughing five 
times, and at the fifth striking on the Earth with his right Foot Then 
he raised his left Arm, and closing all the Fingers into his Fist, held his 

6 i.e. the windpipe, known to us as and others, held that the drink passed 

the trachea. In Plato and Aristotle into the lungs. The 'arteries,' as we 

dprrjpla always means the windpipe. It know them, were formerly looked upon as 

was afterwards called if rpaxetd iprrjpla. &prr)piai, that is, air vessels, because they 

Plato ( Tim. 70 c), in common with the are found empty after death. The deriva- 

Greek medical writers Hippocrates, Galen tion is more probably from aXpu (L. and S. ) 


Thumb against his Forehead, striking with his right Hand six times 
against his Breast 

But Thaumast, not content with this, put the Thumb of his left Hand 
on the End of his Nose, closing the Rest of his said Hand. 

Whereupon Panurge put the two Master Fingers on each Side of his 
Mouth, drawing it back as wide as he could, and shewing all his Teeth, 
and with his two Thumbs drew down his Eyelids very low, thereby 
making a fairly ugly Grimace, as it seemed to the Company. 


How Thaumast recounteth the Virtues and Knowledge 

of Panurge 

Then Thaumast rose up, and taking his Cap off his Head, courteously 
thanked the said Panurge : next in a loud Voice said to all the assembled 

" My Lords, at this time I may well pronounce the Evangelical 
Word : * Et cat plus quam Salomon hie I » Luc xl 31. 

"You have here in your Presence an incomparable Treasure; that 
is, My Lord Pantagruel, whose Renown had brought me hither from the 
very farthest Parts of England, to confer with him on insoluble Problems 
of Magic, Alchymy, the Cabala, of Geomancy and Astrology, as well 
as of Philosophy, which I had in my Mind. 

" But at present I am indignant with Fame, which seemeth to me 
to be envious against him, for she doth not declare the Thousandth 
part of the Ability which is in him. 

"You have seen how his Disciple only hath contented me, and hath 
told me more than I asked of him; over and above this, he hath 
opened for me and resolved other Doubts of inestimable Importance. 
Wherein I can assure you that he has opened for me the true Well 
and Abyss of the Encyclopaedia, 1 nay in a kind such as I did not 
think to find a Man who knew even the first Elements ; that is, when 
we disputed by Signs, without saying a Word or even half a Word. 

"But in good Time I will reduce to Writing all that we have said 
and resolved, to the end that it may not be thought that these have 
been Fooleries ; and I will have them printed so that every one may 

1 Encyclopaedia is here used in its Graed fymnrXor ycufefw recant " (Quint 
proper sense, "the whole round of in- L 10, §1). Now almost limited to indicate 
struction." Cf. "Orbisilledoctrinaequam a work on the various arts and sciences. 


learn therein, as I have done ; and from this you may judge what the 
Master might have said, seeing that the Disciple hath shewn such 
b Luc vL 4a Prowess ; for b non est Discipulus super Magistrum. 

" In any case let God be praised ; and I do very humbly thank you 
for the Honour you have done us in the keeping of this Act God 
reward you for it eternally." 

Like paying of Thanks did Pantagruel give to all the Company, 
and going from there he took Thaumast with him to Dinner; and 
believe it, that they drank * with unbuttoned Bellies — for at that time 
men fastened up their Bellies with Buttons, 9 like the Collars at present 
— until they asked each other : " Whence come you ? " 8 

By the Halidame, how they pulled at the Kid's Leather ! 4 How 

the Flagons went round, and how they called for them! "Draw! 

Page, some Wine here! Reach it here, i' the Devil's Name, reach 

it." There was not a Man there who did not drink five-and-twenty 

• Ps. cxiui. 6 or thirty Pipes — and you know how, c sicut Terra sine aqua ; for it was 

Srh"* hot, and furthermore they were athirst 

With regard to the Exposition of the Propositions set down by 
Thaumast, and the Signification of the Signs which they employed 
in disputing, I would have expounded them for you according to the 
Account they gave among themselves; but I have been told that 
Thaumast made a great Book of them, printed at London, in which 
he declareth all, without omitting anything. Therefore I forbear for 
the present. 

* A has beurtnt eomme toutex bonnes dmee U Jour do Moriz, le ventre contre terre. BC 
beureni . . . Moris, A venire deboutonni, 

1 Buttons, C£ iv. 31. Duchat gives a probable explanation of 

9 i.e. they drank till they did not know this expression as being derived from 

where they were. Dauphinl, where the wine was kept in 

4 i.e. drank with all their might, goat-skins (i. 11). 


Comment Panurge fut amoureux dune haulte Dame de Paris 

Fanurgb commenga estre en reputation en la Ville de Paris par ceste 
Disputation qu'il obtint contre l'Anglois, et faisoit des lore bien valoir sa 
Braguette, et la fit au dessus esmoucheter de broderie a la Romanicque. 
Et le monde le louoit publicquement, et en fut faicte une chanson, dont 
les petits enfans alloient a la moustarde, 1 et estoit bien venu en toutes 
compaignies de Dames et Damoiselles, en sorfe qu'il devint glorieux, si 
bien qu'il entreprint de venir au dessus d'une des grandes Dames de la 

De faict, laissant un tas de longs prologues et protestations que font 
ordinairement ces dolens contemplatifs amoureux de Caresme, lesquelz 
poinct a la chair ne touchent, luy dist un jour : 

" Madame, ce seroit bien fort utile a toute la Republicque, delectable 
k vous, honneste a vostre lignle, et a moy necessaire, que fussiez 
couverte de ma race; et le croyez, car l'experience vous le demon- 

La Dame, a ceste parole, le recula plus de cent lieues, disant: 
"Meschant fol, vous appartient il me tenir telz propos? A qui pensez 
vous parler? Allez; ne vous trouvez jamais devant moy, car, si 
n'estoit pour un petit, je vous ferois couper bras et jambes. 

— Or, dist il, ce me seroit bien tout un d'avoir bras et jambes 
coupes, en condition que nous fissions, vous et moy, un transon de 
chere lie, jouans des mannequins a basses marches : car (monstrant sa 
longue Braguette) voicy Maistre Jean Jeudy qui vous sonneroit une 
antiquailU y dont vous sentiriez jusques a la moelle des os. II est 

1 alloient a la moustarde. Children fromZ* Journal d'un Bourgeois de Paris \ 

were sent to fetch small requisites for the "Item en icelluy temps chantoient les petits 

household. A good parallel is cited in enfans au soir en allant au vin ou a la 

the Provtrbes Frartfais, vol. ii. p. 204, moutarde." 


galland, et vous s^ait tant bien trouver les Alibitz Forains et petits 
poulains grenls en la ratouere que aprgs luy il n'y a que espousseter." 

A quoy respondit la Dame : " Allez, meschant, allez. Si vous m'en 
dictes encores un mot, je appelleray le monde, et vous feray icy assommer 
de coups. 

— Ho, dist il, vous n'estes tant male que vous dictes ; non, ou je 

suis bien trompl a vostre physionomie : car plus tost la Terre monteroit 

es Cieulx, et les haults Cieulx descendroient en l'Abysme, et tout ordre 

de Nature seroit parverty, qu'en si grande beaultl et elegance comme 

la vostre y eust une goutte de fiel, ny de malice. L'on dit bien qu*a 

grand peine 

Vit on jamais femme belle 
Qui ansti ne fust rebelle. 

" Mais cela est diet de ces beaultls vulgaires. La vostre est tant 
excellente, tant singuliere, tant celeste, que je croy que Nature l'a mise 
en vous comme un paragon, pour nous donner a entendre combien 
elle peut (aire quand elle veult employer toute sa puissance et tout son 

" Ce n'est que miel, ce n'est que sucre, ce n'est que manne Celeste 
de tout ce qu'est en Vous. 

" Cestoit k Vous a qui Paris devoit adjuger la pomme d'or, non k 
Venus, non, ny a Juno, ny a Minerve : car onques n'y eut tant de 
magnificence en Juno, tant de prudence en Minerve, tant d'elegance 
en Venus, comme il y a en Vous. 

" O Dieux et Dresses Celestes ! que heureux sera celuy a qui ferez 
celle grace de vous accede*, de vous baiser et de frotter son lart avec 
vous 1 Par Dieu, ce sera moy, je le voy bien, car desja vous m'aimez 
tout a plein, je le cognoy et suis k ce predestine des phles. Done, pour 
gaigner temps, boutte, pousse, enjambions." 

Et la vouloit embrasser, mais elle fit semblant de se mettre k la 
fenestre pour appeller les Voisins k la force. 

Adonc sortit Panurge bien tost, et luy dist en fuyant : " Madame, 
attendez moy icy, je les vais querir moy mesmes, n'en prenez la 

Ainsi s'en alia, sans grandement se soucier du refus qu'il avoit eu, 
et n'en fit oncques pire chere. 

Au lendemain, il se trouva k TEglise k llieure qu'elle alloit k la Messe, 
et, k l'entr^e, luy bailla de Teau beniste, s'inclinant parfondement 
devant elle; apr^s se agenouilla auprls d'elle familierement, et luy 
dist : " Ma Dame, saichez que je suis tant amoureux de vous que je n'en 
peux ny pisser, ny fianter : je ne &9ay comment l'entendez. S'il m'en 

chap, xxi PANTAGRUEL 313 

advenoit quelque mal, qu'en seroit il? — Allez, dist-elle, allez, je ne m'en 
soucie: laissez moy icy prier Dieu. — Mais, dist il, equivoquez sur k 
Beau Mont le Vicomte. 

— Je ne scaurois, dist elle. 

— Cest, dist il, k Beau Con le Vit monte. Et, sur cela,, priez Dieu 
qu'il me doint ce que vostre noble coeur desire, et me donnez ces 
Patenostres par grace. 

— Tenez, dist elle, et ne me tabustez plus." 

Ce diet, luy vouloit tirer ses Patenostres, qui estoient de cestrin,* 
avec grosses marches d'or; mais Panurge promptement tira un de ses 
cousteaux, et les coupa tres bien, et les emporta a la fripperie, luy 
disant : " Voulez vous mon cousteau ? 

— Non, non, dist elle. 

— Mais, dist il, a propos, il est bien k vostre commandement, corps 
et biens, tripes et boyaulx." 

Ce pendant la Dame n'estoit fort contente de ses Patenostres, car 
e'estoit une de ses contenances k l'Eglise, et pensoit : " Ce bon bavard 
icy est quelque esvent^, homme d'estrange pays: je ne recouvreray 
jamais mes Patenostres ; que m'en dira mon Mary ? II s'en courroucera 
k moy; mais je luy diray qu'un larron me les a coupees dedans 
l'Eglise : ce qu'il croira facilement, voyant encores le bout du ruban k ma 

Apres disner, Panurge l'alla voir, portant en sa manche une 
grande bourse pleine d'Escus du Palais 8 et de Gettons, 4 et luy commenca 
a dire: 

" Lequel des deux aime plus Faultre, ou vous moy, ou moy vous ?" 

A quoy elle respondit : " Quant est de moy, je ne vous hais point : 
car, comme Dieu le commande, j'aime tout le monde. 

— Mais k propos, dist il, n'estes vous amoureuse de moy? — Je 
vous ay, dist elle, ja diet tant de fois que vous ne me tenissiez plus 
telles paroles: si vous m'en parlez encores, je vous monstreray que 
ce n'est k moy k qui vous devez ainsi parler de deshonneur. Partez 
d'icy, et me rendez mes Patenostres, k ce que mon Mary ne me les 

1 cestrin, a yellow stone of which of the courtiers. Horace alludes to this 

beads were made (Cotg.) Marches are the I. Epp. xvL 63 — 
large beads placed at intervals to facilitate twos 

the counting. In trivii* fixnm com m Homirtrf ob 

9 Escusdu Palais t pieces of wood, etc., 

painted to resemble coins. It was a Cf. also Persius, ▼. ill. 
trick of the pages to lay them in the way 4 Gettons, counters. 


— Comment, dist il, Madame, vos Patenostres? Non feray, par mon 
Sergent ! 5 Mais je vous en veulx bien donner d'aultres. En aimerez 
vous mieulx d'or bien esmailll en forme de grosses spheres, ou de 
beaux lacs d* Amours, ou bien toutes massifVes comme gros lingotz ; ou 
si en voulez d'ebene, ou de gros hiacinthes, de gros grenatz tailtes, avec 
les marches de fines turquoises ; ou de beaux topazes marches de fins 
saphiz ; ou de beaux balais k toutes grosses marches de diamans k vingt 
et huit quarres ? 6 

" Non, non, c'est trop peu. J'en sgay un beau chapelet de fines 
esmeraudes, marchles d'ambre gris coscotl, et & la boucle un union 
Persicque, gros comme une pomme d'orange : elles ne coustent que vingt 
et cinq mille Ducatz ; je vous en veulx faire un present, car j'en ay du 

Et ce disoit faisant sonner ses Gettons, comme si ce fussent Escus au 
soleiL " Voulez vous une piece de veloux violet cramoisy, tainct en 
grene; une piece de satin brochd, ou bien cramoisy? Voulez vous 
chaines, doreures, templettes, 7 bagues? II ne fault que dire ouL 
Jusques & cinquante mille ducatz, ce ne m'est rien cela." 

Par la vertu desquelles paroles il luy faisoit venir l'eau k la bouche. 
Mais elle luy dist : " Non, je vous remercie : je ne veulx rien de vous. 

— Par Dieu, dist il, si veulx bien moy de vous ; mais c'est chose qui 
ne vous coustera rien, et n'en aurez rien moins. Tenez (monstrant 
sa longue Braguette), voicy Maistre Jean Chouart qui demande logis." 

Et aprls la vouloit accoler. Mais elle commen^a k s'escrier, toutes- 
fois non trop hault 

Adonc Panurge retourna son faulx visaige, et luy dist: "Vous ne 
voulez done aultrement me laisser un peu faire? Bren pour vous ! II 
ne vous appartient tant de bien ny dlionneur ; mais, par Dieu, je vous 
feray chevaucher aux Chiens." 

Et, ce diet, s'enfouit le grand pas de peur des coups, lesquelz il 
craignoit naturellement. 

• Sergent i euphemistic for serment. 7 templettes, Lat. fascia* temporalis , 

* quarres, facets. head-bands. 


Comment Panurge fit un Tour d la Dame Parisienne, 
qui ne fut poind d son Advantaige 

Or notez que le lendemain estoit la grande Feste du Corps Dieu, a 
laquelle toutes les Femmes se mettent en leur triomphe de habillemens ; 
et, pour ce jour, ladicte Dame s'estoit vestue d'une tres belle robe de 
satin cramoysi et d'une cotte de veloux blanc bien precieux. 

Le jour de la Vigile, Panurge chercha tant, d'un costg et d'aultre, 
qu'il trouva une Lycisque 1 orgoose, 2 laquelle il lia avec sa ceincture, et la 
mena en sa chambre, et la nourrit tres bien cedict jour et toute la nuyt. 
Au matin la tua, et en prit ce que scavent les Glomantiens Gregeoys, et 
le mit en pieces le plus menu qu'il peut, et les emporta bien cachees, et 
alia a l'eglise oil la Dame devoit aller pour suivre la Procession, comme 
est de coustume a ladicte Feste. Et, alors qu'elle entra, Panurge luy 
donna de Peau beniste, bien courtoisement la saluant, et quelque peu de 
temps apr£s qu'elle eut diet ses Menus Suffrages, il se va joindre a elle 
en son banc, et luy bailla un rondeau par escrit en la forme que s'ensuit: 


Poor ceste fois qu'a vous, Dame tres belle, 
Mon cas disois, par trop tastes rebelle 
De me chasser sans espoir de retour : 
Veu qu'a vous onq ne fis austere tour 
En diet, ny faict, en soub^n, ny libelle. 
Si tant a vous desplaisoit ma querelle, 
Vous pouvxes bien par vous, sans maquerelle, 
Me dire : Amy, partes d'icy entour, 
Pour ceste fois. 

1 Lyeisqiu. Lycisci were mongrels be- "multum latranteLycisca." Cf. alsojuv. 
tween wolves and dogs. Lycisca is the vl 123: "titulum mentita Lydscae." 
name of a sheep-dog in Virg. Ec. iii. 18 : s orgoose, from Greek dpydu. 


Tort ne vous fids, si mon coeur vous decelle, 
En remonstrant comme l'ard l'estincelle 
De la beaute* que couvre vostre atom : 
Car rien n'y quiers, sinon qu'en vostre tour 
Vous me fades de hait la combrecelle, 
Pour ceste fois. 

Et, ainsi qu'elle ouvrit le papier pour voir que c'estoit, Panurge 
promptement sema la drogue qu'il avoit sur elle en divers lieux, et 
mesmement aux replis de ses manches et de sa robe : puis luy dist : 

" Ma Dame, les pauvres Amans ne sont tousjours a leur aise. Quant 
est de moy, j'espere que 

Les males nuytc, 
Les travaulx et ennuyx, 

»cr. iii 45, r. xs. esquelz me tient l'amour de vous, me seront en ft deduction d'autant des 
peines de Purgatoire. A tout le moins, priez Dieu qu'il me doint en 
mon mal patience." 

Panurge n'eut achevl ce mot que tous les Chiens qui estoient en 
l'Eglise accoururent a ceste Dame, pour l'odeur des drogues qu'il avoit 
espandu sur elle ; petits et grands, gros et menus, tous y venoient tirans 
le membre, et la sentans, et pissans par tout sur elle : c'estoit la plus 
grande villainie du monde. 

Panurge les chassa quelque pen, puis d'elle print congte, et se retira 
en quelque Chapelle pour voir le deduit : car ces vilains Chiens 
compissoient tous ses habillemens, tant qu'un grand Levrier luy pissa 
sur la teste, les aultres aux manches, les aultres a la crope ; les petits 
pissoient sur ses patins. En sorte que toutes les Femmes de la autour 
avoient beaucoup affaire a la sauver. 

Et Panurge de rire, et dist a quelqu'un des Seigneurs de la Ville : 
11 Je croy que ceste Dame la est en chaleur, ou bien que quelque Levrier 
l'a couverte fraischement" 

Et quand il vit que tous les Chiens grondoient bien a l'entour d'elle, 
comme ilz font autour d'une Chienne chaulde, partit de la, et alia querir 
PantagrueL Par toutes les rues ou il trouvoit des Chiens, il leur 
bailloit un coup de pied, disant : " N'irez vous pas avec vos compaignons 
aux Nopces ? Devant, devant, de par le Diable, devant !" 

Et, arrivd au logis, dist a Pantagruel : " Maistre, je vous prie, venez 
voir tous les Chiens du pays qui sont assembles a l'entour d'une Dame 
la plus belle de ceste Ville, et la veulent jocqueter." 

A quoy voluntiers consentit Pantagruel, et vit le Mystere, 8 qu'il 
trouva fort beau et nouveau. 

* Mystere here means a mystery-play. 

chap, xxii PANTAGRUEL 317 

Mais le bon fut k la Procession : en laquelle furent veus plus de six 
cens mille et quatorze Chiens k l'entour (Telle, lesquelz lui faisoient mille 
haires : 4 et partout oil elle passoit, les Chiens frais venus la suivoient k 
la trace, pissans par le chemin oil ses robes avoient touchl. Tout le 
monde s'arrestoit k ce spectacle, considerant les contenances de ces 
Chiens, qui luy montoient jusques au col et lui gasterent tous ses beaux 
accoustremens, k quoy ne sceut trouver aucun remede sinon soy retirer 
en son Hostel Et Chiens d'aller aprls, et elle de se cacher, et Cham- 
brieres de rire. Quand elle fut entrle en sa maison, et ferme* la porte 
apres elle, tous les Chiens y accouroient de demie lieue, et compisserent 
si bien la porte de sa maison qu'ilz firent un ruisseau de leurs urines oil 
les Cannes eussent bien nag£. Et c'est celuy ruisseau qui de present 
passe k Saint Victor, auquel Guobelin tainct l'escarlatte, pour la vertu 
specificque de ces pisse chiens, comme jadis prescha publicquement 
nostre Maistre Doribus. 6 

Ainsi vous aist Dieu, un moulin y eust peu mouldre, non tant 
toustefois que ceux du Bazacle 6 k Thoulouse. 

4 naires, annoyances. stringent measures against heretics. C£ 

• nostre Maistre Doribus, Matthieu Christie's Etienne Dolet, c. 21. 

Ory or Orry, a Breton by birth and a 6 Bazacle^ a place in the outskirts of 

Dominican. He was Inquisitor-General, Toulouse on the Garonne, where there 

and a trusted councillor of Cardinal were a large number of mills. The Moulin 

Tournon, and in favour with Francis I. du Bazacle is still shown as dating from the 

To his influence were due the most ninth century (Badeker's »S<w/M*rr* France). 



How Pantagruel set out from Paris, hearing News that the 

Dipsodes were invading the Land of the Amaurots ; and 

the Reason why the Leagues are so short in France 

A little time afterwards Pantagruel heard News that his Father 
Gargantua had been translated to the Land of the Fairies by Morgan, 
as were formerly Ogier and Arthur; 1 and at the same time that the 
Report of his Translation having been heard, the Dipsodes had come 
forth from their Borders and had wasted a great Tract of Utopia, and 
held in Blockade at that time the great City of the Amaurots. 8 
Whereupon he set out from Paris without saying adieu to any one, 
for the Affair required Diligence, and he came to Rouen. 

Now as they were journeying, Pantagruel, observing that the Leagues 
in France are very much shorter compared with those of other 
Countries, asked Panurge the Cause and Reason thereof; who told 
him a History which Marotus du Lac, monackus^ sets down in the 
" Gests of the Kings of Canaria," 8 telling how : 

"In old times the Countries were not marked out by Leagues, 
Mile-stones, Stades or Parasangs, until King Pharamond divided them ; 
this was done in the Manner following : He chose in Paris a hundred 
fair, young, jolly Companions, very resolute, and a hundred fair 
Wenches of Picardy, and had them well entertained and highly fed for 
the Space of eight Days ; then he called them to him, and to each 
one he assigned his Maiden, with store of Money for his Expenses, 

1 The first edition reads Enoch and Thomas More's \ Utopia (published in 

Elias. The fairy Morgue or Morgan kept 1516), which Rabelais evidently had read, 
her brother Arthur and Ogier the Dane * Duchat reasonably enough makes 

in the enchanted castle of Avallon Rabelais ascribe this story to his friend 

(Huon <U Bordeaux, pt. ii. ) Clement Marot, assigning to him this 

5 Amaurote is the capital of Sir fanciful name and fanciful book. 

chap, xxiii PANTAGRUEL 319 

giving them his Commands to go to different Places in this Direction 
and that, and at all the Places where they should biscot their 
Maidens, they should set a Stone there, and that should be a League. 

"So the Companions set forth merrily, and as they were fresh 
and after Rest, they amused themselves at the End of every Field, and 
that is the Reason why the Leagues in France are so short 

" But when they had gone a great Way and were now as weary as 
poor Devils, and there was no more Oil in the Lamp, they did not 
play the Ram so often, and contented themselves — I mean as regards 
the Men — with a poor, scurvy Bout in a Day. And that it is which 
makes the Leagues of Brittany, Lanes, 4 Germany and other distant 
Countries so long. 

" Others give other Reasons for it, but this seems to me the best." 

Whereunto Pantagruel willingly consented. 

Setting out from Rouen, they arrived at Honfleur, where they went 
on board, Pantagruel, Panurge, Epistemon, Eusthenes and Carpalim. 

At this Place, as they were waiting for a favourable Wind and 
caulking their Ship, Pantagruel received from a Lady of Paris, whom 
he had maintained a good Space of time, a Letter with the following 
Address outside : 

" To the best beloved by the Fair and the least loyal of the Brave. 


4 Latus=L&ndes in Gascony. 


A Letter which a Messenger brought to Pantagruel front a 

Lady of Paris, and the Exposition of a Posy 

written in a gold Ring 

When Pantagruel had read the Inscription he was quite taken aback, 
and after asking the said Messenger the Name of her that had sent it, 
he opened the Letter and found nothing written therein, but only a gold 
Ring with a Table-diamond. 1 Then he called Panurge and shewed him 
the Matter. 

At this Panurge told him that the Leaf of Paper was written on, but 
that it was with such Subtlety that no man could see the Writing 

Therefore, to find it out, he set it by the Fire, to see if the Writing 
was made with Sal ammoniac soaked in Water. 

Then he put it in Water, to see if the Letter were written with the 
• Cf. Piin. mi. a Juice of Tithymalle ; 
39 * Next he held it up to the Candle, to know if it were not written with 

the Juice of white Onions. 

Then he rubbed a Part of it with Walnut-oil, to see if it were not 
written with the Lye of Fig-wood. 

Then he rubbed a Part with the Milk of a Woman who was suck- 
ling her first-born Daughter, to see if it were not written with the Blood 
of Toads. 2 

Then he rubbed a Corner with the Ashes of a Swallow's Nest, to see 
whether it was written with the Dew which is found within the Apples 
of Alicacabut. 8 

1 table-diamond, £«. cut with two flat ■ A species of Solanum known as 
surfaces, above and below, and not in AlkeJungi in Arabic and Halicacabum in 
facets. s Fr. ratifies, Lat. rubtta, Latin, sometimes called winter cherry. 




Then he rubbed another End with Ear-wax, to see if it was written 
with Raven's Gall 

Then he dipped it in Vinegar, to see if it was written with the Juice 
of Spurge. 

Then he anointed it with the Grease 4 of a Flitter-mouse, to see 
if it were written with the Sperm of a Whale which is called 
Ambergris. 6 

Next he put it quite gently into a Bason of fresh Water and quickly 
withdrew it, to see if it was written with Feather-alum. 

And, seeing that he found nothing in all this, he called the Messenger 
and asked him : " Good Fellow, the Lady who sent thee hither, did she 
give thee no Stick e to bring with thee?" thinking it was the Subtlety 
which Aulus Gellius records. 

And the Messenger answered him : " No, Sir." 

Then Panurge wished to have his Hair shaved off, to know whether 
the Lady had caused to be written the Message she wished to send, with 
strong Ink 7 on his shaven Crown ; but seeing that his Hair was very 
long, he forbore, considering that it could not have grown to such a 
Length in so short a Time. 

Then he said to Pantagruel : " Master, by the Powers, I cannot tell 
what to say or to do herein. I have employed, in order to know if there 
is anything written there, a good Part of that which is put down by 
Messer Francesco di Nianto 8 the Tuscan, who has written on the 
Manner of reading Letters that do not appear, and what Zoroaster has 
written irepl ypafifidrcov a/cptrcov, and Calpurnius Bassus De litteris 

4 Grease, Fr. axunge, Lat. axungia. 
Still used by doctors in their Latin pre- 

• According to Sir T. Browne (Pseudo- 
dox. Ep, iil 26, on Spermaceti), this oil 
proceeds mostly, if not entirely, from the 
head of the spermaceti whale. He makes 
a considerable distinction between this 
and the Greenland whale, concluding 
thus : " In Tain it was to rake for Amber- 
griese in the panch of this Leviathan 
. . ., insufferable fetor denying that 
enquiry." More recent enquiries show 
that spermaceti comes from the head 
of this whale, Catodon (Physeter) macro- 
cephalus, while ambergris is a morbid 
secretion of the intestines of the same 

• Referring of course to the dcvrdXi; 


AaKWPucfi (Aul. Gell. xvii. 9, §§6-15), with 
a sly hint to the messenger to a stick 
across his shoulders. 

7 Fr. more/. According to Duchat, it 
is a Poitevin word signifying the ashes of 
burnt straw mixed with water and made 
into a kind of ink used by sawyers to mark 
their wood. Rabelais probably derived 
the story from Herodotus (v. 35), though 
it is repeated in Gellius in the chapter 
referred to above. The message was from 
Histiaeus (who wished to escape from the 
Persian Court) to his nephew Aristagoras 
at Miletus, telling him to stir up a revolt 
in Ionia. *IarUuot 'Aptcraytpa — 'Iwwla* 

8 Nianto, possibly for Niente; at all 
events, nothing has been so far discovered 
concerning this writer. 





*> Virg. Atn. iv. 

«L 5 
n. az. 

illtgibilibus ; • but I see nothing in it, and I believe there is nothing else 
but the Ring. Therefore let us see it" 

Thereupon, examining it, they found written within it in Hebrew : 


Wherefore they called Epistemon, asking him what was the Meaning 
of this. 

To which he answered that they were Hebrew Words signifying 
" Why hast thou forsaken me ? M 

Whereupon Panurge suddenly replied: "I understand the Case. 
Do you see this Diamond? It is a false Diamond. This then is the 
Explanation of the Lady's Meaning : 

"Say, false Lover (Z>y, amantfaulx\ why hast thou forsaken me?" 

Which Interpretation Pantagruel understood at once, and he remem- 
bered how at his Departure he had not bid the Lady Farewell, and 
thereat he grew sorrowful, and would willingly have returned to Paris to 
make his Peace with her. 

But Epistemon brought back to his Memory the Departure of b Aeneas 
from Dido, and the Saying of Heraclides of Tarentum 10 that, while the 
Ship is at Anchor, when Necessity presses we must cut the Cable, rather 
than lose Time in untying it. And he said that he ought to leave all 
other Thoughts, to succour the City of his Birth, which was in Danger. 

Indeed an Hour later the Wind arose, which is called North-north- 
west ; to which they set full Sail and put out into the High seas, and in 
a few Days passing by Porto Santo and Madeira, they put ashore on the 
Canary Islands. 

Setting out from there, they passed by Capo Bianco, by Senegal, by 
Capo Verde, by Gambia, by Sagres, by Melli, by the Cape of Good 
cf. iv. z, Hope and disembarked in the Kingdom of Melinda* c 

From there setting forth they sailed with a Tramontane Wind, passing by 
Meden, 11 by Uti, by Uden, by Gelasim, by the Islands of the Fairies and 
along the Kingdom of Achoria ; finally they arrived at the Port of Utopia, 
distant from the City of the Amaurots three Leagues and somewhat more. 

When they had a little refreshed themselves on land, Pantagruel said: 

" My Children, the City is not far from here ; before marching farther, 

• Zoroaster and Calpumius Bassus are 
mentioned by Pliny as authors from whom 
he derives information, but I have found 
nothing further concerning their lucubra- 
tions on this subject. 

10 Heraclides of Tarentum is mentioned 
by Diogenes Laertius as an empiric, and 

is mentioned and quoted several times by 
Galen, but I have been unable to find 
this dictum of his. 

u Afeden, etc. Fanciful names from 
the Greek Mifftr, O0rc, Odttr, TcX&aiftor, 
'Axwplaj used probably in imitation of Sir 
Thomas More's OtrorLa, 'A/uri/xmu, etc. 

chap, xxiv PANTAGRUEL 323 

it would be better to deliberate on what we have to do, in order that we 
may not be like the Athenians, who never took Counsel except after the 
Affair was ended. Are you determined to live and die with me ? " 

" Yes, My Lord," said they all ; " hold yourself as well assured of us 
as of your own Fingers." 

" Then," said he, " there is but one Point that holds my Mind in 
Suspense and Doubt ; that is, that I know not in what Order or in what 
Number the Enemies are, who hold the City besieged, for if I knew 
that, I should go forward in the greatest Confidence. Therefore, let us 
advise together on the Means by which we shall be able to learn it." 

Whereat they all said at once : " Let us go thither and see, and do 
you await us here ; for this Day, at the latest, we will bring you certain 
News of them." 

" For me," said Panurge, " I undertake to enter into their Camp 
through the Midst of their Guards and of their Watch, and to banquet 
with them and to duffle it at their Expense, without being perceived of 
any ; to visit their Artillery, the Tents of all their Captains, and parade 
myself before their Companies without ever being discovered. The 
Devil could never beguile me, for I am of the Race of Zopyrus." u 

Epistemon said : " I know all the Stratagems and Prowess of the 
valiant Captains and Champions of Times gone by, and all the Tricks 
and Devices of the Art of War. I will go, and though I be discovered 
and revealed, I will escape, making them believe of you anything I 
please : for I am of the race of d Sinon." d ***. A <* fi 

Eusthenes said : " I will enter across their Trenches in despite of the 
Watch and all the Guards, for I will pass over their Bellies and break 
their Arms and Legs, yea though they were as strong as the Devil ; for 
I am of the Race of Hercules." 

Carpalim said : " I will enter in, if the Birds can enter, for I have a 
Body so nimble that I shall have leaped over their Trenches and run 
clean through all their Camp before they have perceived me, and I fear 
neither Shot, Arrow nor Horse, however swift, yea though he were the 
e Pegasus of Perseus, or Pacolet ; w I fear not but that I should escape •ApoUoda. «. 
from before them safe and sound. I undertake to walk upon the Ears 
of Corn, on the Grass of the Meadows without its bending under me ; 
for I am of the Race of Camilla the Amazon." 14 

u Zopyrus, who got into Babylon as a et vaillants chevaliers, Valentin et Orson, 
deserter and betrayed it to Darius. Cf. nepveux du roy Ptpitu 

Herod, m. 153-158. M I1U vel btoctae legetU per ninuiu wb«t 

n Pacolet, the horse of Valentine in the Gramiaa nee teneras cursu laesisset arista*. 

Romance entitled Hystoire des deux nobles Viig. Atn. viL 808. 


How Panurge, Carpalim, Eustkenes and Epistemon, Companions 
of Pantagruel^ discomfited six hundred and sixty 

Knights very cunningly 

Just as he was saying this, they perceived six hundred and sixty Knights, 
well mounted on light Horses, who were riding up thither to see what 
Ship it was newly brought to at the Harbour, and were coming at full 
Gallop to take them if they had been able. 

Then said Pantagruel : " My Children, retreat into the Ship ; see 
here some of our Enemies who are riding up, but I will kill them for 
you like Cattle, yea even if they were ten times as many. Meanwhile 
withdraw and take your Pastime therein." 

Thereat Panurge answered : " No, My Lord, it is not in Reason that 
you should do so ; but, on the contrary, do you withdraw into the Ship, 
you and the others, for I alone will discomfit them here, but we must 
not delay. Advance, my Men." 

At which the others said : " It is well said, Sire ; do you retire and 
we will help Panurge here, and you shall see that we know our Business." 

Thereupon Pantagruel said : " Then I am well content ; but in case 
you should prove the weaker, I will not fail you." 

Then Panurge drew two great Cables from the Ship and made them 
fast to the Capstan, which was on the Deck, and put them on the Land, 
and made with them a long Circuit, one farther off and the other within 
that ; and he said to Epistemon : " Go aboard the Ship, and, when I 
shall signal to you, turn the 'Capstan on the Deck with all your Might, 
drawing in to you the two Ropes." 

Then he said to Eusthenes and Carpalim: "My Lads, stay here 
and offer yourselves freely unto the Enemy, and do their Bidding, and 
make Countenance to surrender yourselves. But beware that you enter 
not within the Circle of these Ropes ; always keep yourselves without" 

chap, xxv PANTAGRUEL 325 

And incontinently he went aboard and took a Bundle of Straw and 
a Barrel of Gunpowder, and spread it round the Circle of the Ropes, 
and kept close with a Fire-grenade 1 in his Hand 

Suddenly came the Knights in great Strength, and the foremost 
charged right up to the Ship ; and because that the Bank was slippery 
they fell, Horses and all, to the number of four-and-forty. Seeing which, 
the others came up, thinking that they had been resisted on their Arrival. 

But Panurge said to them: "Sirs, I believe that you have hurt 
yourselves ; but pardon us in this, for it is none of our doing, but the 
Slipperiness of the Sea-water, which is always a greasy. We submit our- • pi u l q. c<mv. 
selves to your good Pleasure." L * 6a7D * 

So also said his two Companions and Epistemon, who was on the 

Meantime Panurge withdrew himself, and, seeing that they were all 
within the Circle of the Ropes, and that his two Companions had 
removed themselves, making Room for all these Knights, who were 
coming in a Crowd to see the Ship and those who were within, suddenly 
called out to Epistemon : " Draw, draw." 

Then began Epistemon to wind the Capstan, and the two Ropes got 
entangled among the Horses and threw them down on the Ground with 
their Riders ; but they, seeing this, drew their Swords and would have 
destroyed them ; whereupon Panurge set Fire to the Train and made 
them all burn like damned Souls. 

Men and Horses, none escaped, except one who was mounted on a 
Turkish Horse, who got away by Flight ; but when Carpalim perceived 
him he ran after him with such Speed and Nimbleness that he caught 
him in less than a hundred Paces, and leaping on the Crupper of his 
Horse, clasped him from behind and brought him to the Ship. 

This Defeat being achieved, Pantagruel was much rejoiced, and praised 
marvellously the Invention of his Companions, and caused them to be 
refreshed and to feed well on the Shore right joyfully, and to drink 
lustily with their Bellies on the Ground, and their Prisoner with them, 
in all Friendliness; only that the poor Devil was not assured that 
Pantagruel would not devour him whole ; which he could have done 
— so wide was his Throat — as easily as you would a Grain of a Comfit ; 
and he would not have come up in his Mouth any higher than a Grain 
of Millet in the b Throat of an Ass. * w. 33. 

1 migraine de feu, iii. Prol. Provencal milgrana = mille-grainis, fruit of the 
sweet-brier, hip (Littrl). 


How Pantagruel and his Company were weary of eating salt 

Meat y and haw Carpalim went a-hunting 

to have some Venison 

As they were feasting thus, Carpalim said : " And by the Belly of St 
Cf. v. x* Quenet, 1 shall we never eat any a Venison? This salt Meat makes me 
utterly thirsty. I will go and bring you here a Thigh of one of those 
Horses which we have had burnt ; it will be well enough roasted." 

Just as he was getting up to do this, he perceived by the Side of the 
Wood a fine great Roebuck, which had come out of the Thicket * on 
seeing Panurge's Fire, as I suppose. 

Incontinently he ran after it with such Vigour that it seemed as 
though he had been a Bolt from a Cross-bow, and he caught him in a 
Moment, and as he was running, he took with his Hands in the Air 

Four great Bustards, 

Seven Bitterns, 

Six-and-twenty grey Partridges, 

Two-and-thirty Red ones, 

Sixteen Pheasants, 

Nine Woodcocks, 

Nineteen Herons, 

Two-and-thirty Wood-pigeons, 
and he killed with his Feet ten or twelve Leverets and Rabbits, which 
were already out of their Pagehood, 8 

1 St. Quenet (Hi. 8) is a Breton saint * Yx.fort {du Ms). 
whose attribute is a goose. Regis suggests * Fr. hors de paigt % a metaphor gro- 

that Rabelais had in his mind Socrates' tesquely borrowed from the language of 

oath vk\ t6p >rfra, and refers to Philostr. chivalry. It means, of course, young 

VU. Ap. vi ig Jtn. but almost rail grown. 




Eighteen Rails coupled together, 
Fifteen young Boars, 
Two Badgers, 
Three great Foxes. 

So striking the Roebuck with his Sword * over the Head, he killed 
it, and as he brought it back he took up his Leverets, Rails and Boars, 
and as far off as he could be heard he cried out, saying : " Panurge, 
my Friend, Vinegar, Vinegar." 6 

Whereat the good Pantagruel thought that he was fainting, and com- 
manded that Vinegar should be got for him. 

But Panurge knew well that there was Leveret in store; indeed, 
he shewed the noble Pantagruel how he was carrying on his Neck a 
fair Roebuck, and all his Belt hung round with Leverets. 

At once Epistemon made, in the Name of the nine Muses, nine fair 
Spits of Wood * in the ancient fashion ; Eusthenes helped in the skinning, 
and Panurge placed two Saddles of the Knights in such order that they 
served for Andirons ; and they made their Prisoner be their Roasting- 
cook, and at the Fire, with which they burned the Knights, they had 
their Venison roasted. 

And afterwards they made good Cheer with store of Vinegar; Devil 
a bit of one hung back ; it was a triumphant Sight to see them raven. 

Then said Pantagruel : " Would to God each of you had two Pairs 
of Hawk's-bells 7 at your Chin, and that I had on my Chin the great 
Clock-bells of Rennes, Poitiers, Tours and Cambray, 8 to see what a Peal 
we would make with the wagging of our Chaps." 

" But," said Panurge, " it were better to think a little of our Business, 
and by what Means we shall be able to get the upper Hand of our 

"Tis well thought of," said Pantagruel Wherefore he asked their 
Prisoner : " My Friend, tell us the Truth here, and do not lie to us in 
anything, unless you wish to be flayed alive ; for I am he that eats little 

4 Fr. malchus\ ii. 5, n. 11. 

8 Vinegar^ or rather vin aigre, was 
largely used in those times in compound- 
ing sauces for game. 

8 of Wood, Virgil speaks of hazel 
spits, Georg. ii 396; Ovid of willows, 
Fast, ii 363. The learned Epistemon 
naturally bethinks him of the Muses. 

7 sonneites de sacre, A pun b intended 
between the hawk's bells of the species 

known as sacre (Eng. saker) and the 
sanctus belL 

8 The people of Poitou and Touraine 
are very proud of their big bells. In the 
Conies aVEutrapel, Noel du Fail the 
author, who is a Breton, records the follow- 
ing inscription on the big bell at Rennes : 

Je snis nomme' dame Fran^oise, 
Qui cinqnante mille livres poise : 
Et si de teat ne me croyex, 
Descendez moy, et me poises. 


Children. Relate to us in full the Order, the Number and the Strength 
of their Army." 

To which the Prisoner answered : " My Lord, know for a truth that 
in the Army are : 

"Three hundred Giants all armed with Free-stone, marvellous huge, 
not, however, quite as great as you, except one who is their Chiefj and 
is called Loupgarou, and is armed completely with Cyclopical Anvils. 

" One hundred and sixty-three thousand Foot, all armed with the Skins 
of Hobgoblins, mighty men of Valour ; 

" Eleven thousand four hundred Men-at-arms ; 

" Three thousand six hundred double Cannons, and Arbalests 10 with- 
out number; 

" Four score and fourteen thousand Pioneers ; 

" One hundred and fifty thousand Courtesans, fair as Goddesses n 

" That is for me," said Panurge — 

" Of whom some are Amazons, others from Lyons, others from Paris, 
Touraine, Anjou, Poitou, Normandy, Germany ; there are some from 
all Lands and of all Languages." 

"Yea, but," said Pantagruel, "is the King there ?" 

"Yes, Sire," said the Prisoner; "he is there in Person, and we style 
him Anarchus, King of the Dipsodes, which is as much as to say thirsty 
People^ for you never saw People so thirsty, or who drink more will- 
ingly ; and he has his Tent under the guard of the Giants." 

"It is enough," said Pantagruel "Up, my Children, are you deter- 
mined to come thither with me?" 

Whereto Panurge answered : " May God confound him who shall 
leave you. I have already thought how I will lay them all dead like 
Pigs, so that none escape — Devil a Leg of them — but I am somewhat 
troubled on one Point." 

" And what is it ? " said Pantagruel 

" It is," said Panurge, " how I shall compass the bragmardising of 
all the Courtesans who are there this After-dinner time, 

So that there escape not one, 
But I in common form do drum." 

" Ha, ha, ha," said Pantagruel 

9 Ft. pierre de taille. This is taken 10 Fr. tspingarderie seems to be used 

from the romance of Mabriant, c xxxi., here of all kinds of warlike engines other 

where Roland, haying heard of the than cannons. Spingarda (Low Lat.) is 

wonderful cuirass of Mabriant, swears defined by Du Cange as " Machinae belli- 

that if he were armed with freestone he cae seu balistae species." Another form 

would enter the lists with him (Duchat). is tspringalles, used by Froissart, i. 144. 

chap, xxvi PANTAGRUEL 329 

And Carpalim said : "The Devil of Biterne 11 take it, I swear I will 
pad some one of them." 

"And I," said Eusthenes. "What of me? I who have never been 
wound up since we started from Rouen, at least so that my Needle 
reached ten or eleven o'Clock, till now it is hard and strong like a 
hundred Devils." 

" Verily," said Panurge, " thou shalt have one of the fattest and most 

" How now," said Epistemon, " all the World shall ride and I must 
lead the Ass? 18 Devil take the Man who shall do anything of the 
kind We will make use of the Right of War : Qui potest capere capiat" 

" No, no," said Panurge ; " do thou tie thine Ass to a Hook and 
ride like the rest." 

And the good Pantagruel laughed at all this, and then said to them : 
"You count without your Host I am very much afraid lest before 
Night comes I shall see you in such a State that you will have no great 
Desire to get up, and that you will be ridden with sturdy Blows of Pike 
and Lance." 

" Basta," ls said Epistemon. " I will give them up to you to roast or 
boil, to fricassee or put into Pasties. They are not in so great Numbers 
as those which Xerxes led, for he had thirty hundred thousand righting 
Men, if you believe Herodotus w and Pomponius Trogus, 15 and for all 
that, Themistocles with a few Men overthrew them. Take no care of 
it, I beseech you." 

" Pish, pish ! " said Panurge. " My Cod-piece alone will sweep down 
all the Men, and St Sweephole who reposes within shall brush out all 
the Women." 

" Up then, my Children," said Pantagruel ; " Forward, march." 

u The Devil of Biterne, according to ing men of Xerxes' host at 2,641,610. 

Duchat, is at Toulouse what the devil of The camp-followers, etc. swell this num- 

Vauvert is at Paris, i.e. a most powerful ber to 5,283,22a Of the women, dogs 

one. C£ ii. 18, n. 14. and their attendants he cannot pretend to 

M lead the Ass. The reference is to an give an account. No doubt Rabelais has 

old custom of putting on an ass, with his had Herodotus in mind throughout this 

face towards the tail, the injured husband chapter. 

of a guilty wife, leading them about and u Pomponius Trogus. This is the 

exhibiting Its deux bites. Naturally reading of the edition of 1542. The 

Epistemon was not anxious for this dis- earlier ones are more correct with 

tinction (M.) C£ Coquillart, Mon. des Pompeius Trogus, whose writings we 

Perruques (ii 278) : know only through the Epitome of his 

Chaacunlefiut, etjemenel'agne. Philippic Histories, by M. Junianus 

u Basta, common Italian expression Justinus. There we find (ii 10, 18) : 

for " Enough." "Jam Xerxes septingenta milia de regno 

14 Herodotus (vii 186) puts the fight- armaverat et trecenta milia de auxiliis." 


How Pantagruel set up a Trophy in Memory of their Prowess, 
and Panurge another in Memory of the Leverets ; and haw 
Pantagruel with his F — ts begat Little Men and with his 
Fizzles Little Women % and how Panurge broke a great 
Staff over two Glasses 

"Before we depart hence," said Pantagruel, "in Memory of the 
Prowess which you have just performed, I wish to erect in this Place 
a fair Trophy." l 

Then every Man amongst them with great Joy and little village 
Songs, set up a great Trunk, on which they hung 

A Warrior's Saddle, 

A Charger's Headstall, 




A Hauberk, 

A Steel Corselet, 

A Battle-axe, 

A Cavalry-sword, 

A Gauntlet, 

A Mace, 



A Gorget, 
and so on for all the Furniture requisite for a triumphal Arch or a 

1 The locus classicus on the erection describing the trophy set up by Aeneas 
of a trophy is in Virg. Aen* xi. 6-16, after he had killed Metentius. 

chap, xxvii PANTAGRUEL 331 

Then for an eternal Memorial, Pantagruel wrote this Victor's 
Legend as followeth : 

Twas here shone forth the Valour bright 

Of four Knights, valiant Men of Brawn, 

Who erst with Wit, not Armour, dight, 

(Like Scipios twain, or Fabius, born) 

Six hundred sixty put to Scorn, 

All doughty Ruffians, burnt like Gone. 

Take Lesson hence, King, Duke, Rook, Pawn, 

That Skill availeth more than Force. 

For Victory, 

Says History, 

Lies only in the Love 

Of the Consistory, 

Where reigns in Glory 

The highest Lord above. 
So, not to Strong or Great 'tis given, 
But whom He loves (such is our Creed) : 
Whoso by Faith doth trust in Heaven, 
To him comes Wealth and Honour's Meed. 

Whilst Pantagruel was writing the aforesaid Verses, 8 Panurge fixed 
on a great Stake 

The Horns of the Roebuck, and 

The Skin and right Fore-foot thereof; 

Then the Ears of three Leverets, 

The Chine of a Rabbit, 

The Chaps of a Hare, 

The Wings of two Bitterns, 

The Feet of four Wood-pigeons, 

A Vinegar Cruet, 

A Horn in which they put Salt, 

Their wooden Spit, 

A Larding-stick, 

A crazy Kettle full of Holes, 

A Skillet to make Sauce in, 

An earthen Salt-cellar and a Goblet of Beauvais,* 
And in imitation of the Verses and Trophy of Pantagruel he wrote 
as followeth : 

Twas here that squatted in Delight, 
Four merry Topers on the Lawn 
Did feast, nor did they Bacchus slight ; 
For them like Carps the Wine was drawn. 

s Fr. carmes, Lat carmina. an indifferent clay found in the neighbour- 

9 The pottery of Beauvais was made of hood of Savigny and Lerolles (Duchat). 


And whenas each did cheer the Morn, 
Sir Leveret lost his Joints perforce : 
They drank as though by Scorpions torn, 
While Salt and Vinegar did them course. 

Th' Inventory 


Against the sultry Heat 

Is nought but Drinkery 

Right neat and merry, 

Nay of the best — 'tis meet 
To Vinegar must much Care be given 
By him who would on Leveret feed, 
For Vinegar is its Soul and Leaven — 
Hold fast to this with strictest Heed. 

Then said Pantagruel : " Come, my Children, we have here mused 
too long on our Victuals, for we see that very hardly do great Banqueters 
achieve fair Feats of arms ; 4 

There is no Shade like that of Standards, 
There is no Smoke like that of Horses, 
No Clattering like that of Armour." 
At this Epistemon began to smile, and said : 

"There is no Shade like that of the Kitchen, 
No Smoke like that of Pasties, 
No Clattering like that of Cups." 
Whereunto answered Panurge : 

" There is no Shade like that of Curtains, 
No Smoke like that of Breasts, 
No Clattering like that of Cods." 
Then forthwith rising up he gave a F — t, a Leap and a Whistle, 6 
and cried aloud joyously : " Ever live Pantagruel." 

Seeing this, Pantagruel wished to do likewise; but with the F — t 
he let the Earth trembled nine Leagues round about, from which with 
the corrupted Air he engendered more than fifty-three thousand little 
Men, deformed Dwarfs, and with a Fizzle that he made as many little 
Women, all bunched up as you see them in divers Places, which never 
grow, except like Cows'-tails, downwards, or rather like Limosin Turnips 
in Circumference. 

"How now," said Panurge, "are your F — ts so fruitful? Perdy, 
these be fine Sabots of Men and rare Fizzles of Women ; they must 
be married together and they will beget Gad-flies." 

* To the latter end of a fray and the beginning * sublet for sifflet in the patois of 

of « feast Poitou and Saintonge. Cf. Lat. "per 

Fits a duU fighter and a keen guest. ^ Xtam guffo^ ct pettum" {Ingoldsby 

t Hm. IV, iv. a, 83. Legends, a 1). 




So did Pantagruel, and called them Pygmies. He sent them to 
live in an Island hard by, where they have since multiplied mightily ; 
but the Cranes continually make War upon them ; 8 against which they 
defend themselves courageously, for these little Stumps of Men (whom 
in Scotland 7 they call "Curry-comb Handles") are readily choleric. 
The physical Reason thereof is because their Heart is near their 

At the same Time Panurge took two Glasses that were there, both 
of the same Size, and rilled them with Water as full as they could 
hold, and set one of them on one Stool and the other on another, 
putting them five Feet apart from each other ; then he took the Staff 
of a Javelin five Feet and a half in Length, and placed it on the two 
Glasses, so that the two Ends of the Staff exactly touched the Rims of 
the Glasses. 

That done, he took a great Stake and said to Pantagruel and the 
others : 

" Sirs, consider how easily we shall gain a Victory over our Enemies ; 
for just as I shall break this Staff here upon these Glasses, without the 
Glasses being in any way broken or damaged; nay, what is more, 
without a Drop of Water being spilled out of them ; even so we shall 
break the Head of our Dipsodes, without any one of us being wounded, 
and without any Loss of our Belongings. But to the end that you 
may not think there is Enchantment therein, take here," he said 
to Eusthenes, "and strike with this Stake as hard as you can in the 
Middle." Eusthenes did so, and the Staff was broken clean in two 
Pieces, without a Drop of Water falling out of the Glasses. 8 

Then said Panurge: "I know many other such Tricks; only let 
us march on confidently." 

• The battles of the Cranes and the 
Pygmies are derived from Homer, II. iii. 
3-7. They are also spoken of by Aristotle, 
H.A. viii. 12, 3. Cf. iv. 7. 

7 en Escosse. Duchat suggests with 
some probability that the reference is to 
the curry-comb of Duns Scotus, found, 
according to Merlin Coccai, in the lower 

regions, and used to curry the Thomists : 

Sguarnazzam Scotti Fracassus repent illic, 

Quam Testit, gabbatque Deum, pugnatqae 


Meri. Coc Mac, xxr. 

8 This feat is given nowadays at 
" Assaults of Arms " and similar entertain- 


How Pantagruel got the Victory very strangely over the 

Dipsodes and the Giants 

After all this Talk, Pantagruel called their Prisoner and sent him 
away, saying : 

" Go off unto thy King in his Camp, and bring him News of what 
thou hast seen, and tell him to determine to feast me to-morrow about 
Noon; for immediately that my Galleys have arrived — which will 
be to-morrow at the latest — I will prove to him by eighteen hundred 
thousand Fighting men and seven thousand Giants, all of them greater 
than thou seest me here, that he hath done foolishly and against 
Reason thus to invade my Land." In this Pantagruel feigned that he 
had an Army at Sea. 

But the Prisoner answered that he rendered himself as his Slave, and 
that he was content never to return to his own People, but rather to 
right with Pantagruel against them, and he besought him for God's 
sake to permit him so to do. 

Whereunto Pantagruel would not consent; but commanded him 
to depart thence speedily, and to go as he had told him, and gave 
him a Box full of Euphorbium and of Grains of Spurge-laurel, 1 made 
up with Aqua Vitae in form of a Condiment, bidding him bear 
it unto his King, and tell him that if he could eat an Ounce 
thereof without drinking, he then might stand against him without 

Then the Prisoner besought him with clasped Hands that in the 
Day of Battle he would have Pity upon him. Whereat Pantagruel 
said to him : 

1 Fr. CoccognicU (Coccum t Kvlfa), Chamelaea, Thymelaea, Mezereon. 

chap, xxviii PANTAGRUEL 335 

"After that thou shalt have reported all to thy King,* put all thy 
Hope in God and He will never forsake thee ; for on my Part, although 
I be mighty, as thou canst see, and have an infinite Number of 
Men-at-arms, yet do I not put my Trust in my Strength or in my 
Endeavours, but all my Affiance is in God my Protector, who doth 
never forsake those who have put their Hope and Trust in Him." 

After this the Prisoner requested him touching his Ransom, that he 
would act a reasonable Part Whereto Pantagruel answered, that his 
End was not to plunder nor to put Men to Ransom, but to enrich 
them and bring them to perfect Freedom. 

"Depart," said he, "in the Peace of the living God, and never 
follow evil Company, lest Mischief befall thee." 

The Prisoner being gone, Pantagruel said to his Men : 

"My Children, I have given this Prisoner to understand that we 
have an Army on the Sea, and together with that, that we shall not 
assault them till to-morrow about Noon ; to the end that they, fearing 
the great Accession of our Men, may be busied to-night in putting in 
Order and fortifying themselves ; but in the meantime my Intention 
is that we charge them about the Hour of the first Sleep." 

Here let us leave Pantagruel and his Apostles, and speak of the King 
Anarchus and his Army. 

When the Prisoner arrived, he betook himself to the King and 
related to him how a huge Giant, named Pantagruel, had come, who 
had defeated and caused to be cruelly roasted all the six hundred 
and fifty-nine Knights, and how he only escaped to bring the News ; 
furthermore he had Charge from the said Giant to tell him to get 
ready Dinner for him the next Day at Noon, for that he intended to 
attack him at the said Hour. 

Then he gave him the Box in which were the Condiments; but 
immediately that he had swallowed one Spoonful, there came upon 
him such a heating of the Throat, with Ulceration of the Uvula, that 
his Tongue peeled ; and for all the Remedy that they could give him, 
he found no Alleviation whatever, except by drinking without Inter- 
mission; for no sooner did he remove the Goblet from his Mouth 
than his Tongue was on Fire. Therefore they did nought else save 
pour Wine into his Throat with a Funnel 

Seeing this, his Captains, Bashaws and Bodyguard tasted the said 
Drugs, to try whether they were so alterative ; but they were taken in 

• Here ABC insert " I do not say to thee, as the Hypocrites (Cafk*n) do : ' Help thyself and 
God will help thee'; for it is clean contrary: 'Help thyself and the Devil will break thy Neck'; bat 
I say to thee : ' Pot all thy Hope,'" etc. 


the same way as their King. And they all plied the Flagon so well 
that the Noise went through the whole Camp, how the Prisoner had 
returned, and how they were to be attacked on the Morrow, and how 
the King, and his Captains and the Guard with them, were already 
preparing themselves thereunto, and that, by drinking with their 
Throat unstopped. Wherefore every man in the Army began to St 
Martin it, 8 to ply the Pot and swill and guzzle. In short, they drank 
and drank till they fell asleep like Pigs, without order throughout the 

Now let us return to the good Pantagruel, and relate how he bore 
himself in this Business. Setting out from the Place of the Trophy, 
he took the Mast of their Ship in his Hand like a Pilgrim's Staff, and 
put within the Scuttle of it two hundred and thirty Puncheons of 
• & it. White-wine of * Anjou, the rest of Rouen, and fastened to his Girdle 
the Bark full of Salt, as easily as the Lansquenets 8 carry their little 
Panniers, and so set out on the way with his Comrades. 

When he was near the Enemies' Camp, Panurge said to him : "Sire, 
would you do well ? If so, get down this white Wine of Anjou from 
the Mast-scuttle and let us drink here like Bretons." 

Whereunto Pantagruel willingly condescended, and they drank so 
neat that there remained not a single Drop of the two hundred and 
thirty-seven Puncheons, except one Leather- bottle of Tours, which 
Panurge filled for himself, for he called it his vade mecum % and some 
sorry Dregs 4 to serve for Vinegar, 
bin, ii. 20. After they had well pulled at the b Kid , s-leather, Panurge gave 
Pantagruel to eat some devilish Drugs, composed of Lithontripon, 
Nephrocatharticon, Quince jelly with Cantharides, and other diuretic 

This done, Pantagruel said to Carpalim : " Go into the City scrambling 
like a Rat along the Wall, as you know well how to do, and tell them 
to come out at once and set upon the Enemy as rudely as they can ; 
and having said this, come down with a lighted Torch, with which 
you shall set fire to all the Tents and Pavilions in the Camp ; then you 
will shout as loud as you can with your mighty Voice, which is much 
more frightful than was that of Stentor, 5 which was heard above all 

* St. Martin it, to carouse as they do used by Louis XII. as mercenaries, after 

on the ere of St Martin, when they test his quarrel with the Swiss, 
the new wine. * Fr. baissiere. 

9 Lansquenets were German infantry * The paragraph about Stentor's voice 

first formed by Maximilian towards the (as loud as that of fifty men, Homer, IL 

end of the 15th century. They were first v. 785) is from Dolet's edition. 


chap, xxvin PANTAGRUEL 337 

the noise of the Trojans' Battle, and then set out from the said 

" Yea, but," said Carpalim, " would it not be good that I should spike 
all their Artillery ? " 

" No, no," said Pantagruel, " but rather put Fire to their Powder. " 

Obedient thereto, Carpalim set forth at once and did as had been 
determined by Pantagruel, and all the Combatants who were there 
came forth from the City. 

And then when he had set fire to the Tents and Pavilions, he passed 
lightly among them without their perceiving a whit, so profoundly did 
they snore and sleep. So he came to the Place where their Artillery 
was and set Fire to their Munitions ; but this was the Danger. The Fire 
was so sudden that it well-nigh seized on the poor Carpalim ; and but 
for his marvellous Agility, he had been fried like a Pig ; but he sped 
forth so swiftly that a Bolt from a Cross-bow doth not fly faster. 

When he was clear of their Trenches, he shouted so frightfully 
that it seemed that all the Devils had broken loose. At which Sound 
the Enemy awaked — but you know how — as dazed as Monks at the 
first Peal to Matins, which is called in Lussonais 6 " Rub-a-dub-dub." 

In the meantime Pantagruel began to sow the Salt which he had 
in his Bark, and by reason that they were sleeping with their Mouth 
gaping wide, he filled all their Throat with it, so that the poor Wretches 
coughed like Foxes, crying : " Ha, Pantagruel, how thou heatest our 
Firebrand. " 

Suddenly Pantagruel was seized with a Desire to p — s, by reason of 
the Drugs which Panurge had given him, and he p — d in their Camp 
so well and so copiously that he drowned them all, and there was 
there a special Flood for ten Leagues round about ; and History avers 
that if the great Mare of his Father had been there and had staled 
likewise, there would have been a Deluge more enormous than that of 
Deucalion ; for she never p — d but she made a River greater than the 
Rhone or the Danube. 

Seeing this, those who had come out of the City said : " They be 
all cruelly slain; see the Blood flow." But they were deceived, 
thinking of Pantagruel's Urine that it had been the Blood of the 
Enemies, for they could not see, save by the Lustre of the Fire of the 
Pavilions, and some little Light of the Moon. 7 

6 Lussonais, #>. in the diocese of Lucon. the other side as red as blood : And they 

7 " And they rose up early in the said, This is blood : the kings are surely 
morning, and the sun shone upon the slain, and they have smitten one another " 
water, and the Moabites saw the water on (2 Kings iii 22, 23. ) 



The Enemy, after they were awaked, seeing on one Side the Fire 
in their Camp, and on the other the Inundation and urinal Deluge, 
knew not what to say or to think 

Some said that it was the End of the World and the Last Judgment, 
which should be consummated by Fire ; others said that the Sea-gods, 
Neptune, Proteus, the Tritons and the others, did persecute them, and 
that in very sooth it was salt and Sea-water. 

O, who will now be able to relate how Pantagruel bore himself 
against the three hundred Giants? O, my Muse, my Calliope, my 
Thalia, inspire me at this Time ! restore unto me my Spirits ! for see 
here is the Asses' Bridge in Logic ; here is the Pitfall ; here is the 
Difficulty ; to have the Power to set forth the horrible Battle that was* 

Twere my dearest Wish that I had now a Bottle of the best Wine 
that ever those drank who shall read this most veridical History ! 


How Pantagruel defeated the three hundred Giants armed with 

Freestone, and Loupgarou their Captain 

The Giants, seeing that all their Camp was drowned, carried off their 
King Anarchus on their Neck, as best they could, out of the Fort, as 
Aeneas did his Father Anchises out of the Conflagration of Troy. 

When Panurge perceived them, he said to Pantagruel : " Sir, yonder 
are the Giants coming forth ; lay on to them with your Mast valiantly 
like an old Fencer ; 1 for now is the time that you must show yourself a 
Man of Worth ; and on our Side we will not fail you, and I myself will 
boldly kill a number of them for you. For why, David killed Goliath 
very easily.* And then this great Lout Eusthenes, who is as strong as 
four Oxen, will not spare himself. Take courage, smite right and left, 
Point and Edge." 

Then said Pantagruel: "As for Courage, I have more than a fifty / a. i 7l hi. 44. 
Francs' worth ; but look ye, Hercules dared never undertake an Attack 
against two." 2 

" Tis well cacked in my Nose," said Panurge ; " do you compare 
yourself to Hercules ? Perdy, you have more Strength in your Teeth 
and more Sense (scents) in your Rump than ever Hercules had in all 
his Soul and Body. A man's Worth is as he values himself" s 

As they were saying these Words, behold Loupgarou arrived with all 
his Giants ; who, seeing Pantagruel all alone, was seized with Temerity 

* ABC add here : " I then, who could beat a Dozen such as David— for at that time he was but 
a little Chit — could not I easily account .for a Dozen of them? " 

1 a la vieille escrinu, ue. lustily, with- Iolaus to help him against the hydra when 

out employing all the niceties of the he was also attacked by the crab, 
newer style of fencing (i. 27). 

* Prov. Lat Ne Hercules quidem ad- * " Tibi ipse sis tanti, quanti videberis 
versus duos. Alluding to his getting aliis, si tibi fueris " (Plin. Ep. i. 3, § 5). 




and Presumption, through the Hope that he had of slaying the poor 
little Man ; whereupon he said to the Giants, his Companions : 

" You Whoresons of the Lowlands, 4 by Mahoun, if any one of you 
attempt to fight against these I will put you to a cruel Death. Tis my 
Wish that you leave me to fight alone ; meantime you shall have your 
Pastime in looking on at us." 

Thereupon all the Giants retired with their King hard by, where were 
their Flagons, and with them Panurge and his Companions, who 
counterfeited men who have had the Pox, for he writhed about his 
Mouth and shrunk up his Fingers ; and with a hoarse Voice said to 
them : 

" As I hold the Faith, Comrades, 'tis not we who make War. Give 
us to eat with you, while our Masters fight." 

Whereunto the King and the Giants willingly consented, and made 
them feast with them. All this time Panurge told them the Fables of 
Turpin, 6 the Examples of St Nicholas and the Story of the Stork. 

Loupgarou then addressed himself unto Pantagruel with a Mace all 
of Steel, weighing nine thousand seven hundred Quintals and two 
Quarters of Steel of the Chalybes ; 6 at the End of which were thirteen 
Diamond-points, the least of which was as big as the greatest Bell of 
Our Lady in Paris — there wanted, perhaps, the thickness of a Nail, or at 
most (to avoid lying) the Back of one of those Knives which they call 
Cutlug, but a little more or less is of no Account — and it was en- 
chanted, in such sort that it could never break, but, on the contrary, 
everything that he touched with it incontinently broke in Pieces. 

So then, as he approached in great Arrogance, Pantagruel, casting 
up his Eyes to Heaven, did most heartily commend himself to God, 
making a Vow such as followeth : 

" O Lord God, who hast always been my Protector and my Saviour, 
Thou seest the Distress in which I am at this time. Nothing brings 
me hither save a natural Zeal, even such as Thou hast given unto Men, 
to guard and defend themselves, their Wives and Children, Country 
and Family, in case it should not be Thine own proper Cause, which is 

4 of the Lowlands, C£ L 16, iv. New 

• The Fables of Turpin refer to the 
fabulous history of Charlemagne and his 
twelve peers, by Turpin, Archbishop of 
Rheims in the ninth century. The 
Story of the Stork is much the same as 
our Tale of a Tub. Rabelais wishes to 
show that he attached as much credit to 

these as to the legends about St. Nicholas, 
of whom there are twelve in the Legenda 
Aurea, c. 3. 

6 Virgil alludes to the iron of the 
Chalybes, Georg. i. 58 ; Aen. viii. 421, x. 
1 74. According to Xenophon and Strabo, 
they were a warlike race in Pontus, also 
known as Chaldaei (Lat. 40} , Long. 

chap, xxix PANTAGRUEL 341 

the Faith ; for in such a Business Thou wilt have no Coadjutor, save 
the Catholic Confession and the Keeping of Thy Word ; and Thou hast 
forbidden us all Arms and Defence therein ; for Thou art the Almighty, 
who, in Thine own Affair, and where Thy own Cause is brought into 
question, canst be Thine own Defender far beyond what we can 
conceive ; Thou who hast thousands upon thousands of hundreds of 
millions of Legions of Angels, the least of whom is able to slay all 
Mankind, and to turn about the Heavens and the Earth at his Pleasure, 
as of old was clearly shown in the Army of b Sennacherib. b 2 Kings 

" Therefore if it should please Thee at this Hour to come to my *"■ 35 ' 
Help, as in Thee is my whole Trust and Hope, I make a Vow unto 
Thee, that through all Countries, whether in this Land of Utopia or 
elsewhere, wherein I shall have Power and Authority, I will cause Thy 
Holy Gospel to be preached, purely, simply and entirely ; so that the 
c Deceits of a Rabble of Popelings and false Prophets, who have by e cr. l 12, iv. 
human Constitutions and depraved Inventions poisoned the whole v. 16. >iv ' 3a * 
World, shall be exterminated from about me." 

Then was heard a Voice from Heaven saying : " Hoc fac et vinces n ; 
that is to say : " Do this and thou shalt have the Victory." 7 

After this, Pantagruel, seeing that Loupgarou was approaching him 
with open Mouth, went boldly against him, and cried out as loud as he 
could: "Thou diest, Villain, thou diest the Death," to cause him Fear 
by his horrible Cry, according to the d Practice of the Lacedaemonians. dPiutZje-caa. 
Then he threw upon him from his Bark, which he wore at his Girdle, 
more than eighteen Quarters and a Bushel of Salt, with which he filled 
his Mouth, Throat, Nose and Eyes. 

Provoked at this, Loupgarou aimed at him a Blow from his Mace, 
intending to beat out his Brains. But Pantagruel was nimble, and had 
always a sure Foot and a quick Eye, and so he stept back one Pace with 
his left Foot ; but he could not get back so well but that the Blow fell 
on the Bark, which it broke into four thousand and eighty-six Pieces, 
and spilled the rest of the Salt on the Ground. 

Seeing this, Pantagruel gallantly put forth his Strength, and according 
to the proper Use of the Battle-axe, gave him with the big End of the 
Mast a Thrust above the Breast, and then bringing along the Blow to 
the left with a Slash, struck him between the e Neck and the Shoulders. • cr. l 43i iv. 67. 
Next, advancing his right Foot, he gave him a Thrust on the Cods 
with the upper end of his Mast ; whereat the Scuttle burst and spilt 

7 A parody of the incident of the ces. CL Eusebius, Vit, Constantin. cc 
Labarum and its device, Hoc signo trin- 28-30. 


three or four Puncheons of Wine which remained ; which made Loup- 
garou think that he had pierced his Bladder, and that the Wine had 
been his Urine gushing out. 

Not content with this, Pantagruel wished to repeat the Blow on his 
Colander; but Loupgarou, heaving up his Mace, advanced a Pace 
towards him and tried to bring it down upon him with all his Strength ; 
indeed, he laid on so roundly that, if God had not succoured the good 
Pantagruel, he would have cloven him from the Top of his Head to the 
Bottom of his Spleen ; but the Blow glanced to the right by the brisk 
Agility of Pantagruel, and the Mace sank in the Ground more than 
seventy-three Feet, right through a huge Rock, from which he made 
Fire come forth more than nine thousand and six Tuns. 

Pantagruel, seeing that he was busied in plucking out his Mace, 
which stuck in the Ground between the Rocks, ran upon him and would 
have clean struck off his Head ; but, by ill Fortune, his Mast touched 
slightly against the Handle of Loupgarou's Mace, which was enchanted, 
as we said before. By this means the Mast broke off about three 
Fingers' breadth from the Handle, whereat he was more amazed than a 
/ cc l 37. f Bell-founder, and cried out : " Ha, Panurge, where art thou ? " 

Hearing this, Panurge said to the King and to die Giants: "By 
Heaven, they will hurt themselves if some one doth not part them." 
But the Giants were as glad as if they had been at a Wedding. 

Then Carpalim would have stirred himself from thence to succour 
his Master, but a Giant said to him: "By Golfarin, Nephew of 
Mahoun, if thou stirrest from here I will put thee in the Bottom of my 
Breeches, as one doth a Suppository. For verily I am constipated, and 
cannot well cagar, except by means of grinding my Teeth." 

Then Pantagruel, being thus left without a Staff, took up again the 
End of his Mast, striking out right and left 8 on the Giant ; but he did 
him no more Hurt than you would do with a Fillip on a Smith's 

All this time Loupgarou was pulling his Mace out of the Earth, and 
had already drawn it out, and was making ready therewith to strike 
Pantagruel ; but Pantagruel, who was quick in his Movements, avoided 
all his Blows, until one Time — seeing that Loupgarou threatened him, 
saying: "Now, Villain, I chop thee into Minced Meat; never again 
shalt thou make poor men athirst" — Pantagruel struck him with his 
Foot so huge a Blow against his Belly that he threw him backwards with 

8 Fr. torcAe, lorgne, occurs in Coquillart's Le Blason dcs Arnus et dts Dames 
(ii. p. 174, ed. Elz.) 

chap, xxix PANTAGRUEL 343 


his Legs in the Air, 9 and dragged him thus, if you please, at Flay- 
buttock more than an Arrow's flight 

But Loupgarou cried out, sending forth Blood from his Throat: 
" Mahoun, Mahoun, Mahoun ! " At which Cry all the Giants rose up 
to help him ; but Panurge said to them : " Sirs, go not thither, as you 
trust me ; for our Master is mad, and strikes out at random, he cares not 
where : he will do you a Mischief" But the Giants made no Account 
of him, seeing that Pantagruel was without a Weapon. 

When Pantagruel saw them approach, he took Loupgarou by the two 
Feet and swung his Body like a Pike in the Air, and with it, armed as 
it was with Anvils, he smote among those Giants, who were armed with 
Freestone, and beat them down as a Mason does Knobs of Stone, so 
that none stood before him whom he did not fling down on the Ground ; 
whereat, by the breaking of this stony Harness, was made so horrible a 
Din, as put me in mind of the Time when the great Butter-tower, 10 
which was at St. Stephen's at Bourges, melted in the Sun. 

Panurge, with Carpalim and Eusthenes, did in the meantime cut the 
Throats of those who were borne down to the Earth You may safely 
reckon that not a single one escaped, and, to look at, Pantagruel was 
like a Mower who with his Scythe, that is Loupgarou, was cutting down 
the Grass of a Meadow, that is the Giants ; but in this Fencing, Loup- 
garou lost his Head. It was when Pantagruel struck down one whose 
name was g Maulchitterling, who was armed cap-a-pie with Grison- 1 ir. 37 . 
stones, 11 a Splinter from which cut right through Epistemon's Neck ; 
otherwise, the greater Part of them were armed lightly, that is with Tufa, 
and the others with Slates. 

At last, when he saw they were all dead, he threw the Body of Loup- 
garou as hard as he could against the City, and it fell like a Frog on its 
Belly in the great Piazza of the said City, and in its fall it killed a singed 
He-cat, a wet She-cat, a small Bustard and a bridled Goose. 

9 Fr. a jambes ribindaines ; iv. 67. larly there are iT^f-towers, etc., in Brit- 

10 Butter-tower, So called because they tany. 

were built by money derived from per- u Grison- stones, a kind of sandstone 

mission to eat butter during Lent Simi- common near Poitiers (Duchat). 


How Epistemoriy who had his Hut cead off (Coupe test/e), was 
skilfully healed by Panurge ; and of the News from 

the Devils and the Damned 

This Discomfiture of the Giants over, Fantagruel withdrew to the Place 
of the Flagons, and summoned Panurge and the others, who returned 
to him safe and sound, except Eusthenes, whom one of the Giants had 
scratched a little in the Face while he was cutting his Throat, and 
Epistemon, who did not appear at alL At this Pantagruel was so grieved 
that he would fain have killed himself. 

But Panurge said to him : " Courage, Sir, wait a little, and we will 
seek him among the dead, and will see the Truth of everything." 

Thus as they went seeking him, they found him stark dead, and his 
Head between his Arms, all bloody. Then Eusthenes cried out : "Ah, 
cruel Death ! hast thou bereft us of the most perfect of Men ? " 

At this Cry up rose Pantagruel, with the greatest Lamentation ever 
seen in the World, and said to Panurge : " Ha ! my Friend, the Augury 1 
of your two Glasses and the Javelin-staff was only too fallacious." 

But Panurge said : " Children, shed not one Tear ; he is still warm ; 
I will heal him for you as sound as ever he was." Saying this, he took 
the Head and held it over his Cod-piece all warm, so that the Air might 
not take it 

Eusthenes and Carpalim carried the Body to the Place where they 
had banqueted, not in the Hope that he would ever be healed, but for 
Pantagruel to see it 

1 This refers to an augury given by Eusthenes broke in two without spilling a 

Panurge at the end of the 27th chapter of drop of water, signifying that none of the 

this Book, in which he laid a javelin-staff party would be hurt in the approaching 

across two glasses full of water, which encounter with the giants. 

chap, xxx PANTAGRUEL 345 

Nevertheless Panurge comforted them, saying : "If I do not heal 
him I am content to lose my Head — which is a Fool's Wager ; — leave 
these Tears and come and help me." 

Then he thoroughly cleansed the Neck with pure white Wine, and then 
the Head, and sinapised it with Powder of Diamerdis, 2 which he always 
carried in one of his Fobs ; afterwards he anointed it with I know not 
what Ointment, and adjusted them to a nicety, Vein to Vein, Sinew to 
Sinew, Spondyle to Spondyle, so that he should not be wrynecked, 8 for 
he mortally hated such Folk. This done, he made all round fifteen 
or sixteen Stitches with a Needle, so that it might not fall off again, then 
he put round it a little Ointment which he called resuscitative. 

Suddenly Epistemon began to breathe, then to open his Eyes, then 
to yawn, and then he sneezed, and then he let a great household f — t 

Upon this said Panurge : " Now is he assuredly healed," and gave 
him to drink a Glass of strong, coarse, white Wine, with a sugared 

In this Fashion was Epistemon skilfully healed, except that he was 
hoarse for more than three Weeks, and had a dry Cough, of which he 
could never be rid but by means of constant Drinking. 

And now he began to speak, saying that he had seen the Devils, had 
spoken familiarly with Lucifer, and had made mighty merry in Hell and 
in the Elysian Fields ; and he insisted before them all that the Devils 
were good Companions. 

With regard to the Damned, he said he was quite sorry that Panurge 
had so soon called him back to Life : " For," said he, " I was taking a 
singular Pleasure in seeing them." 

"How so?" said PantagrueL 

11 They are not treated," said Epistemon, " so badly as you would 
think, but their Condition of Life is changed in a strange Manner. For 
instance, I saw Alexander the Great, who was botching old Breeches, 
and so gaining his miserable Living. 

Xerxes was a Crier of Mustard, 

Romulus a Dry-salter, 

Numa a Nail-smith, 

Tarquin a Curmudgeon (Tacquin\ 

Piso a Peasant, 

Sylla a Ferryman, 

Cyrus was a Cow-keeper, 

* From %& and merda. wrynecked sanctimonious Franciscans are 

* C£ the story of the " Turned Head " Rabelais' most especial abomination. Cf. 
in the Diary of a late Physician* The i. 54. 


Themistocles a Glazier, 

Epaminondas a Mirror-maker, 

Brutus and Cassius Land-surveyors, 

Demosthenes a Vine-dresser, 

Cicero a Fire-kindler, 

Fabius a Threader of Beads, 

Artaxerxes a Rope-maker, 

Aeneas a Miller, 

Achilles a Scald-pate, 

Agamemnon a Lick-dish, 

Ulysses a Mower, 

Nestor a Tramp, 

Darius a Jakes-farmer, 

Ancus Martius a Ship-caulker, 

Camillus a Boot-maker, 

Marcellus a Bean-sheller, 

Drusus a Braggadoccio, 

Scipio Africanus 4 cried Lye in a Sabot, 

Hasdrubal was a Lantern-maker, 

Hannibal a Seller of Egg-shells, 

Priam sold old Clouts, 

Lancelot of the Lake was a Flayer of dead Horses. 

All the Knights of the Round Table were poor Catch-pennies, tugging 
at the Oar to cross the Rivers of Cocytus, Phlegethon, Styx, Acheron 
and Lethe, whenever my Lords the Devils wish to recreate themselves 
on the Water, just as are the Boatmen of Lyons and the Gondoliers 
of Venice, 

But for every time they cross 
They only get a Flick of the Nose, 

and in the Evening a Morsel of mouldy Bread. 

The twelve Peers of France are there, and do nothing that I could 
see, but they gain their Livelihood by enduring Cuffs, Fillips, Hustlings, 
and heavy Blows of the Fist on their Teeth. 

Trajan was a Fisher of Frogs, 

Antoninus a Lacquey, 

Commodus a Bagpiper, 

Pertinax a Peeler of Walnuts, 

Lucullus a Vendor of Cherries, 5 

4 Perhaps from come la lis. (Cor- e Lucullus imported cherries to Rome 

nelius) (Joh. ) from Cerasus in Pontus. Plin. xv. 25, § 5a 




Justinian a Maker of Children's Rattles, 

Hector a Snap-sauce, 

Paris was a poor Tatterdemalion, 

Achilles was a Hay-trusser, 

Cambyses a Mule-driver, 

Artaxerxes a Skimmer of Pots ; 

Nero was a Fiddler, and Fierabras his Serving-man ; but he played 
him a thousand mischievous Tricks, and made him eat brown Bread and 
drink Wine that had turned, while he himself ate and drank of the best 

Julius Caesar and Pompey were Ship-caulkers, 

Valentine and Orson served at the Stoves of Hell, and were Sham- 
pooers in the Baths. 

Giglain and Gawaine 6 were poor Swineherds, 

Geoffry of the long Tooth 7 a Seller of Matches, 

Godfrey of Bouillon a Paper-stainer, 

Jason was a Churchwarden, 8 

Don Pedro of Castille a Carrier of Indulgences, 

Morgan was a Beer-brewer, 

Huon de Bordeaux was a Hooper of Barrels, 

Pyrrhus a Kitchen-scullion, 

Antiochus was a Chimney-sweeper, 

Romulus was a Vamper of old Shoes, 

Octavian a Scraper of Parchment, 

Nerva a Scullion, 

Pope Julius 9 was a Crier of little Pies ; but he left off wearing his 
huge lubberly Beard. 

John of Paris 10 was a Greaser of Boots, 

Arthur of Britain a Cleaner of Caps, 

Perceforest a Carrier of Faggots, 

Pope Boniface VIII. was a Keeler of Pots, 

Pope Nicholas III. 11 was a Maker of Paper, 

6 Giglain must be the same knight 
as Ziliante in Ariosto's Or. Fur, xix. 38. 
Gawaine is the knight who is the subject 
of the 16th Book of Sir Thomas Malory's 
Mortc £ Arthur. 

7 Son of Raymondin and the fairy 
Melusina, who was the foundress of the 
house of Lusignan in Poitou in the 10th 
century. Cf. supra, ii. 5. 

* Fr. manillier"(=marguillier) t mani- 
flerius (Du Cange). 

9 Julius II. seems to have been the 
first pope of those times who wore a 
beard, and he was one of the very few 
who appeared in the field as a general, 
as he did in 151 1 at the siege of 

10 John of Paris, hero of a chivalric 
romance of that name. Probably John, 
son of Philippe of Valois, crowned 


u Fr. pap* Hers itait papetur. 


Pope Alexander u [VI.] was a Rat-catcher, 
• Cf. B. 17, n. xx. a Pope Sixtus [IV.] an Anointer of Sores." 

"How!" said Pantagruel, "are there pockified Folk in the other 
World ? " 

"Certainly," said Epistemon; "I never saw so many; there are 
more than a hundred Millions there, for be assured that those who hare 
not had it in this World, have it in the other." 

" 'Sbody," said Panurge, " I am free then, for I have been as far as 
» l 2, 33. the Hole of b Gibraltar, and passed the Pillars of Hercules, and knocked 
down some of the ripest Fruit" 

" Ogier the Dane u was a Furbisher of Armour, 

King Tigranes was a Tiler, 

Galen Restored M a Mole-catcher, 

The four Sons of Aymon Tooth-drawers, 

Pope Calixtus was a WomanVbarber, 

Pope Urban a Chaw-bacon, 

Melusina was a Scullery-maid, 

Matabrune a Washerwoman, 

Cleopatra a Hawker of Onions, 16 

Helen a Broker for Chamber-maids, 

Semiramis a Comber of Beggars, 

Dido sold Mushrooms, 

Penthesilea sold Cresses, 

Lucretia was an Hostess, 

Hortensia a Spinstress, 

Livia a Washer of Green-stuff. 

" In this Manner those who had been great Lords in this World here, 
gained their poor, wretched, scurvy Livelihood there below. 

"On the contrary, the Philosophers and those who had been 
indigent in this World, on the other side were great Lords in their 

" I saw Diogenes, who was strutting it pompously with a great purple 
Robe, and a Sceptre in his right Hand ; and he drove Alexander the 

u Probably because he poisoned him- fairy who interested himself in him. 

self by mistake. He was destined to restore chivalry in 

u Ogier was one of the greatest pala- France, 
dins at the court of Charlemagne. u Probably a pun is intended between 

14 Galen Restored is the title of a oignons, which grew plentifully in Egypt, 
very old romance. He was the son of and uniones (Lat), enormous pearls, one 
Jaqueline, daughter of Hugh, king of of which Cleopatra is said, in the well- 
Constantinople, and Count Oliver of known story, to have dissolved in vinegar 
Vienne. His name was that of a and then swallowed. 

chap, xxx PANTAGRUEL 349 

Great mad, when he had not well mended his Breeches, and paid him 
with sturdy Blows of his Staff. 

" I saw Epictetus 16 apparelled gaily in the French fashion under a fine 
Arbour, with a number of Maidens frolicking, drinking, dancing, every 
way making good Cheer, and by his Side store of Sun-Crowns. Above 
the Trellis, for his Device, were these Lines written : 

To dance, to skip and to play, 

The white wine and Claret to swill, 
And nothing to do all the Day 

But rolling in Money at will. 

"When he saw me he courteously invited me to drink with him, 
which I did willingly, and we hobnobbed together theologically. 17 
Meantime came Cyrus to ask a Denier of him in honour of Mercury 
to buy a few Onions for his Supper. ' No, no,' said Epictetus, ' I don't 
give Deniers. Hold, Varlet, there is a Crown for you ; be an honest 
Man.' Cyrus was pleased enough to have met with such a Booty ; but 
the other Rogues of Kings who are below there, such as Alexander, 
Darius and others, stole it from him in the Night. 

" I saw Patelin, Treasurer of Rhadamanthus, who was cheapening 
some little Pies which Pope Julius was crying, and asked him : * How 
much a Dozen?' — 'Three white Pieces,' 18 said the Pope. — 'Nay,' 
said Patelin, ' three Blows of a Cudgel. Give them here, Rascal, give 
them, and go, fetch some more.' The poor Pope went off weeping. 
When he came before his Master Pie-maker, he told him that his Pies 
had been taken from him ; whereupon the Pieman gave him a Lashing 
with an Eel-skin 19 so soundly that his Skin would have been worth 
nothing to make Bagpipes with. 

" I saw Master John Le Maire, 20 who was personating the Pope, and 
made all these poor Kings and Popes kiss his Feet, and giving himself 
great Airs. He gave them his Benediction, saying: 'Get Pardons, 
Rogues, get Pardons; they are cheap enough. I absolve you from 

M Of Epictetus of Hierapolis, freed- deniers, not to be confounded with the 

man of Epaphroditus, the favourite of grand blanc, which was worth 10 or 12 

Nero, very little is known, save his lame- deniers or a sol Tournois (R.) 

ness, his poverty and his few wants, his w " Tenuissimum his [murenis] tergus, 

Encheiridion and his motto : &rix ov *<** contra anguiUis crassius, eoque verberari 

&t4x ov > "Bear and forbear." solitos tradit Verrius praetextatos, et ob 

17 tu 1 • 11 r *u u~* r>r >d multam his did non institutam " (Plin. 

17 Theologically, *.*. of the best. Cf. .. „. . * \ 

vin tMologal, explained in H. Estienne, *' f 'J *** ? 39h 4 _ .. . . 

a* t • T ttL j * A Belgian poet and historian born 

Apologu pour Htroaote. c. xxn. . ~ . ^„ ,. , , 

* ° * at Bavai. He lived 1473- 1549, and 

18 whitt Pieces, Fr. Blatus (iv. 50). wrote violently against the Popes, especi- 
This was an old common piece worth 5 ally Julius II. 




• Cf. ii. 14, n. 13. 

Bread and Soup, 21 and dispense you of ever being good for anything.' 
Then he called Caillette and Triboulet,** saying: 'My Lords, the 
Cardinals, despatch their Bulls for them, to wit, each of them a Blow of 
the Cudgel across the Loins.' Which was forthwith done. 

"I saw Master Francis c Villon, who asked Xerxes the Price of a 
Mess of Mustard. * A Denier,' said Xerxes. ' The quartan Ague take 
thee, Rascal,' said the other; 'five Deniers of it is worth no more 
than Half a Farthing, and thou art trying to enhance the Price of 

" I saw the Franc-archer of Baignolet, 28 who was an Inquisitor of 

Heretics. He found Perceforest against a Wall on which was painted St 

Antony's Fire. He declared him a Heretic, and would have had him 

* cf. i. 17, n. 2. burnt alive, had it not been for Morgan, 24 who, for his A proficiat and 

other small Fees, gave him nine Tuns of Beer." 

Upon this said Pantagruel: "Reserve us these fine Stories for 
another time ; only tell us how the Usurers are treated there." 

"I saw them," said Epistemon, "all occupied in seeking rusty Pins 
and old Nails in the Street Gutters, as you see the Rascals in this 
World. But a Hundredweight of this old Iron is worth no more than 
a Mouthful of Bread ; and yet there is a very bad Sale for it So the 
poor Misers go sometimes more than three Weeks without eating a 
Morsel or Crumb of Bread, and yet toil Day and Night, looking for the 
Fair to come ; but of this Toil and Misery they think nothing — so active 
and accursed are they — provided that at the End of the Year they gain 
some scurvy Pittance." 

" Come," said Pantagruel, " let us have a merry Bout, and drink, my 
Lads, I beseech you ; for it is very good drinking all this Month." 

Then did they bring out their Flagons in Heaps, and made excellent 
Cheer with their Camp-provisions ; but the poor King Anarchus could 
not make merry ; whereupon said Panurge : " To what Trade shall we 

91 Fr. Je vous absotis de pain et de 
soupe. A parody of de peine et de 

9 Caillette and Triboulet were two 
court-fools of Francis I. (Cf. Des Periers, 
Nov. ii.) The reference is to the practice, in 
doing penance, of two procurators lightly 
touching with a wand (borrowed from the 
Roman praetor's vindicta), at each verse 
of the Miserere (51st Psalm), the penitent 
who recited it. 

* The Franc-archer of Baignolet (ii. 7) 

is the hero of one of Villon's poems. He 
stands forth as the representative of a set 
of drunken swaggering poltroons, and 
therefore, according to Rabelais, fit for 
the office of inquisitor. -The Franc- 
archers were a sort of household troops 
formed by Charles VII. and superseded 
in 1480 by mercenaries. 

** Aforgan, a giant converted by Ro- 
land, whom he serves as esquire in the 
Chronicle of Turpin and the Morgante 
Maggiore of Pulci (1st canto). (M.) 

chap, xxx PANTAGRUEL 351 

put my Lord the King here, so that he may be thoroughly expert in his 
Art when he shall come thither among all the Devils ? " 

" In good Sooth," said Pantagruel, " 'tis well thought of on your 
Part. Here, do what you will with him ; I give him to you." 

" Grammercy," said Panurge ; " the Present is one not to be refused, 
and I take it kindly at your Hands." 



The return to life of Epistemon, and his account of the treatment of 
the souls of the dead, is derived primarily from the story at the end of 
Plato's Republic (x. 614-621), of Er the Armenian, who, after being slain 
in battle, remained unburied for twelve days, after which time his soul 
returned to his body. Er gives an account of what he had seen in the 
other world, of the judgment passed on criminals and on righteous men, 
and of the choice of lives made by individual souls when, after a thou- 
sand years, they had to return to life, particularising the choice made 
by Orpheus, Thamyras, Ajax, Agamemnon, Atalanta, Epeus, Thersites, 
Ulysses. This was of course to a great extent suggested by the vexvia 
in the nth Book of the Odyssey \ in which Ulysses gives an account to 
King Alcinous of his visit to Hades to consult the seer Teiresias. 
Besides Teiresias, Ulysses converses with Agamemnon and Achilles, 
while Ajax stands gloomily aloof. He also sees Minos the judge, and 
Heracles, besides three notorious evil-doers who are punished — Tityus, 
Tantalus and Sisyphus. The learned Epistemon has also made himself 
acquainted with the account given by Socrates of the awards assigned 
to the righteous and the wicked at the end of the Gorgias of Plato, and 
also the forecast of future life in the Apology of Socrates. But more 
than all, Rabelais is indebted to Lucian in his Menippus or ve/cvo- 
pavrela (c£ especially cc. 16-18) for his amusing inversion of the lives 
of the great ones of the earth. It seems almost an echo of the 
judgment passed on the Rich Man in St. Luke (xvi. 25): "Son, 
remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and like- 
wise Lazarus evil things ; now he is comforted, and thou art tormented." 
C£ also what Rabelais says himself, L 1 : "I think there be many this 
day who are Emperors, Kings, Dukes, Princes and Popes on the Earth 
who are descended from some Carriers of Indulgences and Faggots ; as 
on the contrary many are Beggars from door to door, suffering poor 
Wretches, who are descended from the Blood and Lineage of great Kings 

appendix PANTAGRUEL 353 

and Emperors." (Here, however, the inversion is carried farther, from 
progenitors to descendants and vice versa, and not alluding to the same 
man in a different state of being.) Perhaps also he wished in his way 
to protest against the medieval Hell and Paradise, which has, with 
truth, I think, been said to owe more to the sixth Book of Virgil's 
Aeneid than any other source of inspiration. No doubt there are other 
accounts of the other world in Aristophanes, Plutarch, Virgil, Dante, St. 
Patrick's Purgatory, etc., but I think that Homer, Plato and Lucian are 
the only writers to whom Rabelais is indebted The aim of this satire 
is not easy to see at this distance of time. The writer was on very 
delicate ground, at a time when charges of heresy were so rife. 
The probability is that, amid a heap of unmeaning rubbish, there are 
a few well-directed strokes that were, then at least, perfectly under- 
stood. Rabelais' substitution of his own out-at-elbows friends, Patelin, 
Villon and his Franc-Archer, in places of great honour in the room of 
Homer's characters (teal prjv TdvraKov elcrelSov #.r.\., Od. xL 583), 
and the punishment he invents for the usurers, is highly comical. 

vol. 1 2 a 


How Pantagruel entered into t/ie City of the Antaurots ; and 

how Panurge married King Anarchus and made 

him a Crier of Green-sauce 

After this marvellous Victory, Pantagruel sent Carpalim into the 
City of the Amaurots, to declare and announce how King Anarchus 
was taken and all their Enemies defeated. Which News being heard, 
there came forth to meet him all the Inhabitants of the City in good 
order; and in grand triumphal Pomp, with a heavenly Joy, they 
conducted him into the City; and there were kindled fine Bonfires 
through all the City, and fair round Tables, furnished with Store of 
Victuals, were laid throughout the Streets. It was a Renewal of the 
Time of Saturn ; such good Cheer did they make at that Time. 

But all the Senate having been assembled, Pantagruel said : " Sirs, 
whilst the Iron is hot we must strike it; 1 likewise before we relax 
ourselves further, 2 I desire that we may go and take by Assault the 
whole Kingdom of the Dipsodes. 

" Therefore, let those who will come with me, prepare themselves 
against to-morrow after drinking; for then I will begin my March. 
Not that I want more Men to help me to conquer it, for I have as 
good as got it in my Hands already ; but I see that this City is so 
full of Inhabitants that they cannot turn themselves in the Streets. 

"So then I will take them as a Colony into Dipsodia, and will 
give them all that Country, which is fair, healthy, fruitful and pleasant 
above all the Countries in the World, as many among you know, 
who have been there formerly. Let every one of you who wishes to 
go thither, be ready as I have said. 71 

i Le fer est chault, il le faut batre. * Fr. Maucher is to interrupt work 

Charles d'Orleans, Rondeau 181. by pleasure (Littrl). 




This Counsel and Resolution was published throughout the City, 
and the next Day were assembled in the Square before the Palace, 
People to the number of eighteen hundred and fifty- six thousand 
and eleven, besides Women and little Children. And so they began 
to march straight into Dipsodia in such good Order that they resembled 
the Children of Israel, when they set out from Egypt to pass through 
the Red Sea. 8 

But before following up this Enterprise, I wish to relate how 
Panurge treated his Prisoner, the King Anarchus. He remembered 
what Epistemon had recounted, how the Kings and Rich men of this 
World were treated in the Eiysian Fields, and how during that Time 
they gained their Living in base and dirty Occupations. 

Therefore one Day he dressed his King in a pretty little canvas 
Doublet, all jagged and pinked like the Cape of an Albanian, 4 and 
fair large Mariner's Breeches, without Shoes — for, said he, they would 
spoil his Sight — and a little dark-blue Bonnet with a great Capon's 
Feather — I am wrong, for I think there were two — and a handsome 
Girdle of blue and green (pers et vert\ saying that this Livery became 
him well, seeing that he had been always perverse. 

In this Plight he led him before Pantagruel, and said to him : " Do 
you know this Clown ? " 

" No, indeed," said Pantagruel. 

" It is my Lord the King of three Batches ; 5 I wish to make an 
honest Man of him. These Devils of Kings are only so many Calves, 
and they know nothing and are good for nothing but to do Mischief 
to their poor Subjects, and to trouble all the World with War, for their 
iniquitous and detestable Pleasure. I will put .him to a Trade and 
make him a Crier of Green-sauce. 6 Now begin to cry : Do you want 
any Green-sauce?" And the poor Devil fell a-crying. 

" That is too low," said Panurge. And he took him by the Ear, 

8 "Et armati ascenderunt filii Israel 
de terra Aegypti " (Exod. xiii. 1 8). 

4 The tall pointed hats worn by the 
Albanian mercenaries, who were mostly 
in the employ of the Popes, are often 
mentioned in Rabelais. Cf. iii. 25, iv. 
30, v. 33. Here, however, is intended 
a thrown-back cape like a capuchin's. 

5 Fr. Roy de trots cutties. Duchat 
explains this as the man to whom the 
bean has fallen in three cakes cooked 
during the week of the three Kings. 
It is a common practice in cutting the 

cake on Twelfth Night to appoint king 
of the feast whosoever obtains the piece 
of cake containing a bean that is put for 
that purpose. Beranger has a song be- 
ginning "Grace a la feve je suis Roi" 
C£ iii. 25. Du Cange derives cuitte 
from cocta, a batch of bread. 

6 Green- sauce y a kind of acid green 
sauce made mostly of sorrel. It was 
much used in Rabelais' time and earlier. 
It is mentioned in Boccaccio, Decant. 
viii. 2, and Merlin Coccai, Macaron. L : 

Nee dapibus viridi mancavit salsa colore. 


saying: "Sing higher, in G, Sol, R£, Ut. 7 So, so, Devil, thou hast 
a good Voice, and wert never so happy as thou art in being no longer 

And Pantagruel took Pleasure in all; for I dare boldly say that 
he was the best little Man that ever was between here and the end 
of a Staff. Thus was Anarchus a good Crier of Green-sauce. 

Two days after, Panurge married him with an old Lantern-bearing 
Hag, and himself made the Wedding-feast with fine Sheep's-heads, 
good Hastlets with Mustard, and fine Tripes with Garlic — whereof he 
sent five Horse-loads 8 to Pantagruel, which he eat up all, he found 
them so appetizing — and to drink they had fine Wine and Water 9 and 
Sorb-apple Cider. And to make them dance he hired a Blind-man, 
who made them Music with his VioL 

After Dinner he conducted them to the Palace and shewed them 
to Pantagruel, and said to him, pointing out the Bride : 

" There is no fear of her f— ting." 

" Why so ? " said Pantagruel. 

" Because she is well broken up," said Panurge. 

" What Parable * is that ? " said Pantagruel. 

"See you not," said Panurge, "that the Chestnuts which men roast 
in the Fire, if they be whole, crack as if they were mad, and to keep 
them from cracking men do slit them? So this new Bride is well 
broken up below ; therefore she will not crack." 

Pantagruel gave them a little Lodge near the lower Street, and a 
Stone-mortar wherein to pound their Sauce. And in this manner 
they set up their little Household, and he was as dainty a Crier of 
Green-sauce as ever was seen in Utopia. But I have been told since 
that his Wife beats him like Plaster, and the poor Fool dares not 
defend himself, he is so simple. 

* fiarabole, ABC \ parole, D. 

7 In Trist. Shandy % vi. I, is the * Fr. sommades, properly the load of 

following : " Bray on, — the world is a beast of burden, 
deeply your debtor ; — louder still ; — that's 

nothing:— in good sooth you are ill- * Fr. piscantine, water just coloured 

used.— Was I a Jack Ass, I solemnly red with wine, approaching near the 

declare I would bray in G-sol-re-ut from liquid drunk by/Mw, the fish, 
morning even unto night." 


How Pantagruel with his Tongue covered a whole Army, 
and what the Author saw in his Mouth 

So when Pantagruel and all his Band entered the Land of the Dipsodes, 
everybody was joyous thereat, and they incontinently surrendered them- 
selves to him, and of their free Goodwill brought him the Keys of 
all the Cities where he went; except the Almyrods, 1 who wished to 
hold out against him, and made Answer to his Heralds that they would 
not yield save on good Terms. 

" What," said Pantagruel, " do they ask for better Terms than the 
Hand on the Pot 2 and the Glass in their Fist? Come, let us sack 

Then they all put themselves in Order, as being resolved to deliver 
an Assault. But on the Way, as they were passing a great Plain, they 
were overtaken by a great Storm 8 of Rain, whereupon they began to 
be in a Flutter and to pack close to one another. 

On seeing this, Pantagruel had them told through their Captains 
that it was all nothing, and that he could see well above the Clouds 
that it would be nothing but a little Dew, but as best they could they 
should put themselves in Order and he would cover them. 

Then they put themselves in Order, with serried Ranks, and 
Pantagruel put out his Tongue, but only half-way, and covered them 
as a Hen does her Chickens. 

Meanwhile I, who am relating to you these most veritable Stories, 
had hid myself under a Burdock Leaf, which was no less across it than 

1 Almyrods, the Salty ones (AX/tu/xtoip). * Fr. houstc gives the idea of beating. 

3 La main sur It pot (Patelin, 396), a 

phrase used to denote the rough- and • 
ready conclusion of an agreement. 

"I wield the flail of the lashing haiL" 

Shelley's ClotuL 



the Arch of the Bridge of Monstrible; 4 but when I saw them so well 
covered I went off to them to shelter myself. This I could not do 
for their great Number; as the saying goes: "At the Yard's End 
there is no Cloth." 5 Then I clambered upon his Tongue, as best I 
could, and made my way full two Leagues thereon, so that at last I 
came into his Mouth. 

But, ye Gods and Goddesses, what did I see there ? May Jupiter 
confound me with his three- forked Lightning if I lie therein. I 
walked there as men do in Sophia 6 at Constantinople, and there I 
saw huge Rocks like the Danish Mountains ; 7 I believe they were 
his Teeth: I saw wide Meadows, huge Forests, strong and great 
Cities, not smaller than Lyons or Poictiers. 

The first Man I met was an honest Fellow planting Cabbages. 
Whereat being quite amazed, I asked him : 

" My Friend, what are you doing here ? " 

" I am planting Cabbages," he said. 

" But to what Purpose, and how ? " 8 said I. 

" Ha, Sir," said he, " every one cannot have his Cods as heavy as 
a Mortar, 9 and we cannot all be rich. I gain my Living in this way, 
and carry them to Market to sell in the City which is behind here." 

" Jesus ! " said I, " is there here a new World ? " 

" Certes," said he, " 'tis never a Jot new, but it is commonly reported 
that outside this, there is a new Earth, where they have both Sun and 
Moon, and everything full of fine Commodities; but this one here 
is older." 

" Yea, but, my Friend," said I, " what is the Name of this Town 
where you carry your Cabbages to sell ? " 

4 The bridge of Monstrible is put by explains that the mountains of Denmark 
Duchat and others as on the Charente are nearly always covered with snow, 
between Saintes and St. Jean d'Angeli, Regis says that the chalk cliffs of Denmark 
but as these two places are on different are alluded to. It is obvious that the 
branches of the river, that may hardly white teeth above the gums are compared 
be. It seems more reasonable to identify to snow or chalk on the tops of mountains, 
it with the bridge of Monstrible (Mans But why Danish mountains? I suspect 
terribilis) in the romance of Fierabras (M.) the true reading is des Dauphinois ; the 

5 At the Yard's end, etc. Regis aptly mountains of Dauphine* being well known 
compares Dante, Parad. 32, 140 : to Rabelais. Cf. iv. 57. 

Qui faiem punto, come buon sartore, * Fr. & quoy ny comment. This is 

Che, com* egli ha del panno, fa la gonna. illustrated by Duchat from Froissart 

• The mosque of St. Sophia, one of (iv. 43) : " S'esmerveilloient plusieurs en 
the largest buildings in the world, quoi ne comment il en pouvoit," etc. 
Perhaps he means he walked without • A variation of the proverb : 

shoes. Chacon n'a pas le cerveau 

7 Fr. les monts des Dannois. Duchat Gros commc celui d'un veau. 

chap, xxxn PANTAGRUEL 359 

" It is called Aspharage," said he, " and the People are Christians, 
honest Folk, and will make you good Cheer." 

In briefi I resolved to go thither. Now on my way, I found a 
Fellow who was setting Nets for Pigeons, from whom I asked : 

" My Friend, whence come these Pigeons here for you ? n 

"Sir," said he, "they come from the other World." 

Then I bethought me, that when Pantagruel yawned, the Pigeons in 
large Flocks flew into his Mouth, thinking it was a Dove-cote. 

After that I went into the City, which I found handsome, very 
strong and good in Climate; but at the Going- in the Porters asked 
me for my Certificate of Health ; whereat I was much astonished, and 
asked them : 

" My Masters, is there Danger of the Plague here ? " 

"O, Sir," said they, "men die near here so fast that the Cart 10 runs 
about the Streets." 

" Good God ! " said I, " and where ? " 

Whereupon they told me that it was in Larynx and Pharynx, which 
are two great Towns such as Rouen and Nantes, rich and with great 
Trading; and the Cause of the Plague has been through a stinking 
and infectious Exhalation, which has proceeded lately from the Abyss, 
whereof have died more than twenty-two hundred and sixty thousand 
and sixteen Persons the last eight Days. Then I considered and 
calculated, and found that it was a rank Breath that had come from 
the Stomach of Pantagruel, when he did eat so much Garlic-sauce, as 
we have said a above. • & 3*,/**- 

Setting out from thence I passed among the Rocks, which were 
his Teeth, and went on so far that I climbed on one, and there I 
found the most beautiful Places in the World, large Tennis Courts, 
fine Galleries, fair Meadows, Store of Vines, and an infinite Number 
of Casinos in the Italian fashion, by Fields full of Delights, and there 
I stayed full four Months, and never made such Cheer as I did then. 

After that I went down by the back Teeth to come to the Chaps ; 
but, on the way, I was rifled by Brigands in a great Forest, which is 
towards the Side of the Ears. 

Then I found a little Village as I came down (I have forgotten its 
Name), where I made better Cheer than ever, and gained a little 
Money to live by. Do you know how? By sleeping; for there 
they hire men by the Day to sleep, and they gain five or six Sous 

10 the Cart, i.e. to gather the dead bodies for burial. The plague was in France 
as late as 1531. 


a day; but those who snore very hard gain full seven Sous and 
a hal£ 

And I informed the Senators how I had been robbed in the 
Valley, and they told me that in very truth, the People on the far 
Side were evil Livers and Brigands by Nature, whereby I learned 
that just as we have Countries Cismontane and Ultramontane, so they 
have Cidentine and Ultradentine ; but it is far better on this side, and 
there is better Air. 

It was there I began to think that it is very true what men say : 
that one Half of the World knoweth not how the other Half liveth ; 
considering that no one had yet written of that Country, in which 
there are more than five - and - twenty Kingdoms inhabited, without 
counting the Deserts, and a great Arm of the Sea ; but I have composed 
a great Book thereon entitled the History of the Gorgians, for sq have 
I called them, because they dwell in the Gorge of my Master 

At last I wished to return, and passing by his Beard I threw myself 
on to his Shoulders, and from there I slid down to the Ground and 
fell before him. 

When he perceived me he asked me: "Whence comest thou, 
Alcofribas?" 11 

I answered him : " From your Throat, my Lord." 

"And since when hast thou been there?" said he. 

I said : " Since the Time when you went against the Almyrods." 

"Why, that is more than six Months. And on what didst thou 
live ? What didst thou eat ? What didst thou drink ? " 

I replied : " My Lord, on the same that you did, and I took Toll 
of the daintiest Morsels that passed down your Throat." 

" Yea, but," said he, " where didst thou s— e ? " 

" In your Throat, my Lord," said I. 

" Ha, ha, thou art a merry Fellow," said he. " We have by the Help 
of God conquered all the Land of the Dipsodes ; I give thee the 
Castle-wick of Salmigondin." 12 

" Grammercy, my Lord," I said " You do good to me beyond my 
Deserts towards you." 

11 Alcofribas Nosier, the anagram on Salmigondin. This may be a slip, or 
Francois Rabelais. Cfc title-page. possibly a hint that in some points 

11 In Hi. 2 Panurge is Chatelain of Rabelais identifies himself with Panurge. 


How Pantagruel fell sick, and the Manner in which 

he was made whole 

A little Time afterwards the good Pantagruel fell sick, and was so 
taken with Pains in the Stomach that he could neither drink nor eat, 
and because Misfortune never comes single, he was taken with a Clap, 
which tormented him more than you would think ; but his Physicians 
succoured him and that right well, and with many lenitive and diuretic 
Drugs made him pass away his Trouble. 

His Water was so hot that since that Time it has not yet got cold, 
and you have some of it in different Places in France, according to the 
Course that it took ; and they are called hot Baths : as 

At Cauderets, 

At Limoux, 

At Dast, 

At Balleruc, 

At Neric, 

At Bourbonnensy and elsewhere ; 
In Italy 

At Mons Grot, 

At Appona, 

At Santo Pedro di Padua, 

At Sainte Helene, 

At Casa Nova, 

At Santo Bartolomeo, 

In the County of Bologna, 

At La Porette and a thousand other Places. 
And I do marvel greatly at a Rabble of foolish Philosophers and 
Physicians, who waste their Time in disputing whence the Heat of the 




said Waters cometh, whether it is by reason of Borax, or Sulphur, or 
Alum, or Saltpetre, which is in the Minerals ; for they do nothing but 
dote, and it would be better for them to go and rub their Rump against 
a Thistle 1 than thus to waste their Time in disputing on that of which 
they know not the Origin ; for the Solution is easy, and there is no Need 
to enquire further than that the said Baths are hot because they have 
come from a hot-p — s of the good PantagrueL 

Now to tell you how he was cured of his principal Disease, I let pass 
how for a Minorative, 9 he took 

Four Quintals of Scammony of Colophon, 
Six score and eighteen Cart-loads of Cassia, 
Eleven thousand nine hundred Pounds of Rhubarb, 
Besides the other Doctor's Stuff. 

You must understand that, by the Advice of the Physicians, it was 
ordered that that which caused him Pain in the Stomach should be 
removed. Therefore they made sixteen 8 great Balls of Copper, each 
larger than that which is on Virgil's Needle 4 at Rome, so arranged that 
they opened in the Middle and shut with a Spring. 

In one of them entered one of his Men, carrying a Lantern and 
a lighted Torch, and so Pantagruel swallowed him like a little 

In five others entered other burly Fellows, each carrying a Pick at his 

In three others entered three Peasants, each carrying a Shovel at his 

In seven others entered seven Faggot-carriers, each having a Basket 
at his Neck ; and so they were all swallowed as Pills. 

When they were in his Stomach, every one undid his Spring and 
they came out of their Cabins, and he first who bore the Lantern, and 
so they searched more than half a League in a horrible Gulph, more 

1 Fr. panitauU, eryngo or sea-holly. 

1 Minoratrix=*. gentle purgative, and 
also one of the early theses for the degree 
of doctor (Joh.) 

* sixteen. In the reading of this 
passage I follow Des Marets, who sug- 
gests that the old edition had xvi, which 
was changed into xvii. by a printer's 
error. At all events, he accounts for a 
man in each pill, which is not done in 
any other edition. 

4 VtrgiPs NeedU. This must be, I 
think, the gnomon obelisk set up by 

Augustus in the Campus Martius (Plin. 
xxxvi. 10, § 15); in the Piazza Monte 
Citorio since 1792. It is mentioned by 
Marliani, the investigator who anticipated 
Rabelais in the publication of Roman 
topography, as lying in parts in a cellar 
near St. Lorenzo in Lucina. According 
to Pliny, one of the special points in it was 
a gilded ball on the top, and the attribu- 
tion of this sun-dial to Virgil, the * necro- 
mancer of the Middle Ages,' would not 
be unnatural. Cf. Burn's Rome and the 
Campagna, p. 333. 




stinking and infectious than Mephitis, 5 or the Marsh of Camarina, 6 or 
the fetid Lake of Sorbona, 7 whereof a Strabo writes, and had it not been 
that they were well antidoted in their Heart, Stomach and Wine-pot, 
which is called the Noddle, they would have been suffocated and killed 
by these abominable Vapours. O what Perfume ! O what Evaporation 
to bewray the Mufflers 8 of our young Gallic Maidens ! 

Afterwards, groping and smelling, they approached the fecal Matter 
and the corrupted Humours; and at last they found a Mound of 
Ordure. Then the Pioneers struck on it to hew it down, and the others 
with their Shovels filled the Baskets with it ; and when it was all cleared 
away, each one retired into his Ball. This done, Pantagruel forced him- 
self to a Vomit and easily put them forth, and they shewed no more in 
his Throat than a f — t in yours, and there they came out of their Pills 
merrily. I thought upon the Time when the Greeks came out of the 
Horse in Troy. And by this means he was cured and restored to his 
former Health. 

And of these brazen Pills you have one at Orleans on the Steeple of 
the Church of Holy Cross. 9 

* Strabo, xvi. p. 

8 Mephitis is taken from Virg. Aen, 

vii. 82-84 : 

lucosque sub alta 
Consolit Albunea, nemorum quae maxuma sacro 
Foote sonat saevamque exhalat opaca mephitim. 

Albunea was probably the sulphur lake 
from which issues the canal of the Albula 
into the Anio. Mephitis was worshipped 
as a deity in various parts of Italy (Con- 
ington, Virg. ad Ice.) Rabelais has con- 
founded these. " Mephitis est proprie 
terrae putor " (Servius). 

6 Camarina, Cf. Virg. Aen. iii. 701 : 

et fads numquam concessa rooveri 
Adparet Camarina procuL 

This is in allusion to an oracular response 
as to the draining of a pestilent bog near 

The story goes that the Camarinaeans 

disobeyed the injunction and so became 
an easy prey to their enemies. 

7 Sorbona. The letter is purposely 
changed from Serbona. The same gibe 
had been perpetrated by Budaeus in a 
letter to Erasmus (v. 2): "Reddiderat 
illam [epistolam] juvenis is quern mihi 
commendasti Sorbonae nunc agentem, 
fidWov 8t h 2c/>/3<£irt3i XLftvji dtarpt^opra." 
The Serbonian lake was a vast morass 
lying between the eastern angle of the 
Delta, the Isthmus of Suez, Mount 
Casius, and the Mediterranean. It is 
mentioned by Herodotus (ii. 6, iii 5), 
Diodorus, and by Milton in a well-known 
passage {P.L. ii. 593). 

8 Mufflers, Fr. toureiz de net, a sort of 
half-mask concealing the nose. 

9 This church was destroyed by the 
Huguenots in 1567, but was rebuilt be- 
tween 1601 and 1829. 


The Conclusion of the present Book, and the Excuse of the Author 

Now, Sirs, you have heard a Beginning of the horrific History of my 
Lord and Master Pantagruel. Here I will make an End of this first 
Book. My Head aches a little, and I do well perceive that the Registers 
of my Brain are somewhat confused by this Must of September. 

You shall have the Rest of the History at the Fair of Frankfort * 
next ensuing, and there you shall see : 

How Panurge was married, and cuckolded from the first Month of 
his Marriage ; 

And how Pantagruel found the Philosopher's Stone, and the Way 
to find it and how to use it ; 

And how he went over the Caspian Mountains ; 

How he sailed through the Atlantic Sea, and defeated the Cannibals, 
» Cf. i- 56, n. xo. and conquered the Isles of a Perlas ; 

How he married the Daughter of the King of India, called Prester 
John. 2 

How he fought against the Devils and set Fire to five Chambers of 
Hell, and sacked the Great Black Chamber, and threw Proserpine on the 
Fire, and broke four Teeth of Lucifer and one Horn in his Rump ; 

And how he visited the Regions of the Moon, to know whether 
indeed the Moon is not whole, but that the Women have three Quarters 
of it in their Head ; 8 

1 The Frankfort book fair (as nowa- half-fabulous kings of Ethiopia, Abyssinia 

days at Leipsic) was the place to find and other unknown regions, 
new publications. There is a treatise * Cf. v. 34, Jin. M. des Marets well 

of Henri Estienne entitled La Foire de quotes from an old French poem : 
Francfort ( 1 574). Dans oes femmes, chose certaine, 

. * Prestkan in most editions. These Jamais la lune nc fat pleine : 

and similar names were given to the Ella ont toujour, un quartier 

Dessous leur bonnet tout entier. 

chap, xxxiv PANTAGRUEL 365 

And — a thousand other little Merriments, all true. These be 
fine Affairs.* 

Good- night, Gentlemen. Ptrdonate mt\ and do not think of my 
Faults so much as not to think much of your own. 

If you say to me : " Master, it would seem you were not greatly 
wise to write for us these vain Babblings and pleasant Gibes," I 
answer that you are but little wiser to amuse yourselves in reading 

In any Case, if you read them as a joyous Pastime, as I wrote them 
as a Pastime, you and I deserve Pardon far more than a Rabble of 


Cowled Dissemblers, 
Booted Monks, 4 
and other such Sects of Folk who have disguised themselves like 
Masks, to deceive the World. 

For while they give to understand to the common People that they 
are not occupied with anything save Contemplation and Devotion, 
in Fastings and Maceration of Sensuality, except so far as actually to 
sustain and aliment the slight Frailty of their human Nature, on the 
contrary they make good Cheer, God knows how, 

b Et Curios simulant, sed Bacchanalia vivunl. b Juv. U. 3. 

You may read it in great Characters, and in the Illumination of 
their red Muzzles and their stuffed Paunch, unless it be when they 
perfume themselves with Sulphur. 

As far as their Study is concerned, it is all taken up with the Reading 
of the Pantagrueline Books ; not so much to pass their Time merrily 
as to hurt some one or other wickedly ; to wit in 






that is to say, calumniating. 

* Ct sont beaux texUs d'Evangilhs tn Franfoyt, ABC 
4 For some of these epithets, cf. i. 54, iv. Old Prologue, 32, 64. 


And in so doing, they resemble the Ragamuffins in a Village, who 
rake amongst and scrape up the Ordure of little Children in the 
Season of Morellas and Cherries, to find the Kernels and sell them 
to the Druggists, who make of them Oil of Almonds. 5 

From these Men fly, and abhor them, and hate them as much as 
I do, and on my Faith you will find yourselves better for it ; and if 
you desire to be good Pantagruelists — that is to say, to live in Peace, 
Joy, Health, always making merry — never put your Trust in Men who 
look through a Hole. 6 

End of the Chronicles of Pantagruel, King of the Dipsodes, drawn in 
their true Colours, with his terrible Deeds and Prowess, composed by the 
late Master Alcofribas, Abstractor of Quintessence. 

8 MagtuUt. I accept Duchat's sugges- • through a Hole, i.e. from under a 

tion that this word may well be a cowl. Later the saying was through a 
corruption of amygdalctum y almond oil. window of cloth (Duchat). 


















1 The edition of 1546 adds tt Calloitr Upei>s) of the Isles of Hyeres, or sacred 
des Isles Uteres = and Patriarch (xoXfe (Zepoi) Islands. 


Abstracted Spirit, rapt in Ecstasy, 

Who haunting now thy Home, the Firmament, 

Hast left thy Servant and thy Hostelry, 

Thy Body, well attuned, obedient 

To thy Commands, in Life 'mong Strangers shent, 

Without all Sense and as in Apathy ; 

Wilt thou not deign a little while to fly 

Thy Mansion all divine, perpetual, 

And here below a Third time to descry 

The Jovial Feats of the good Pantagruel ? 

1 These verses accompanied the first 
edition of 1546, so that Margaret, who 
died December 21, 1549, was still living. 
By a sort of affectation the spirit is 
addressed as having detached itself from 
the body and returning to its celestial 

home. The same notion is found in iii. 
13 of the soul in sleep leaving the body 
and visiting heaven, and so becoming 
prophetic in dreams. It is no doubt 
derived from the Platonic theory of the 
pre-existence of the souL 


2 B 


Francis by the grace of God King of France, to the Provost of Paris, 
the Bailiff of Rouen, the Seneschals of Lyons, Thoulouse and Poitou, 
and to all our justices and officers or to their deputies, and to each 
of them as to him belongeth, greeting. 

On the part of our well-beloved and trusty Master Francis Rabelais, 
Doctor in Medicine of our University of Montpellier, it hath been • 
set forth that the said petitioner having hereinbefore caused to be 
printed several books, especially two volumes of the heroic Deeds 
and Sayings of Pantagruel, not less useful than delectable, the printers 
have in several places corrupted and perverted the said books, to the 
great displeasure and detriment of the aforesaid petitioner, and the 
prejudice of the readers, wherefor he hath abstained from the publication 
of the remainder and continuation of the said heroic Deeds and Sayings. 
Nevertheless, being daily importuned by the learned and studious 
people in our kingdom, and requested to bring into use as by printing 
the said continuation, he hath petitioned Us to grant him the privilege 
that no one should have permission to print them or offer for sale 
any save those which he shall cause to be printed expressly by 
booksellers, and to whom he shall give his own true copies. And 
this for the space of ten consecutive years, beginning on the day 
and date of the printing of his said books. We therefore, these things 
considered, being desirous that good letters be promoted through 
our kingdom, to the profit and instruction of our subjects, have granted 
to the said petitioner privilege, leave, license and permission to cause 
to be printed and put in sale by such tried booksellers as he shall 
think fit his said books and works in continuation of the heroic Deeds 
of Pan/agrue/ y beginning with the third volume, with power and 
authority to correct and review the two first books heretofore by 
him composed : and to make or cause to be made a new impression 
and sale of them, putting forth inhibitions and prohibitions in our 


name, on certain great penalties, confiscation of the books thus by 
them printed, and arbitrary amend to all printers and others to 
whom it shall belong, not to print and put in sale the books herein- 
before mentioned without the will and consent of the said petitioner 
within the term of six consecutive years l beginning on the day and 
date of the impression of his said books, on pain of confiscation of the 
said printed books and of arbitrary amend. To do this, we have 
given and do give to each and every of you, as to him shall belong, 
full power, commission and authority, and we request and require 
all our justices, officers and subjects by our presents that they cause, 
suffer and permit the said petitioner peaceably to enjoy and use this 
leave, privilege and commission, and that you in so doing be obeyed. 
For thus it is our pleasure it be done. 

Given at Paris the nineteenth day of September in the year of grace 
one thousand five hundred and forty-five, and the thirty-first of 
our reign. 

Signed : " By order of the Council 


and sealed on single label 2 with yellow wax. 

1 six consecutive years, A little above, label is when the seal is on a strip of 

the document says ten consecutive years, parchment which is passed through the 

The privilege was really given for six deed and doubled. Cf. Ch. d'Orleans, 

years. This privilege accompanied the Ballade iv. : 
edition of 1546. . 

• On singl* W*l is when the seal is IZZEZSZgL. 

attached to a corner of the parchment En cire vert, pour dire voir, 

which is cut for that purpose. On double 



Henry by the grace of God King of France, to the Provost of Paris, 
the Bailiff of Rouen, the Seneschals of Lyons, Bordeaux, Dauphinl, 
Poitou, and all our other Justices and Officers or their Deputies, 
and to each of them as to him shall belong health and love. 1 

On the part of our dear and well-beloved Master Francis Rabelais, 
Doctor in Medicine, it hath been set forth to us that the said petitioner, 
having aforetimes given to be printed several books in Greek, Latin, 
French, and Tuscan, 2 specially certain volumes of the heroic Deeds and 
Sayings of Pantagruel, not less useful than delectable, the printers had 
corrupted, depraved and perverted the said books in several places. 
Moreover that they had printed several other scandalous books in the 
name of the said petitioner, to his great displeasure, prejudice and 
ignominy, by him totally disavowed as false and supposititious: the 
which he desires under our good will and pleasure to suppress. He 
desireth withal to review and correct and to reprint anew the others 
his own works avowed, but depraved and disguised as aforesaid. 
Likewise to put into s publication and sale the continuation of the 
heroic Deeds and Sayings of Pantagrutl, thereto humbly requiring 
us to grant to him our letters - patent necessary and convenient for 

Therefore it is that we, freely inclining unto the supplication and 
request of the said Master Francis Rabelais, and desiring to entreat 
him well and favourably in this matter, have to him, for these causes 
and other good considerations moving us hereto, permitted, accorded 
and granted, and of our certain knowledge, full power and royal 
authority do hereby permit, accord and grant by these presents 
that he have power and permission, by such printers as he shall think 
fit, to cause to be printed and again placed and exposed for sale all 

1 Fr. dilution. s Tuscan^ i.e. Italian. 


and every one of the said books and continuation of Pantagruel by 
him composed and undertaken, as well those which have already 
been printed and which shall be for this purpose revised and corrected 
by him, as also those which he purposeth to publish anew. Likewise 
that he have power to suppress those which are falsely attributed to 
him. And to the end that he have means to support the necessary 
expenses for the publication of the said impression, we have by these 
presents inhibited and forbidden most expressly, and we do hereby 
inhibit and forbid al\ other booksellers and printers' in this our 
kingdom and others our lands and signories that they do not have 
to print or cause to be printed, place and expose for sale, any of the 
aforesaid books* old as well as new, during the time and term of ten 
years ensuing and consecutive, commencing on the day and date of 
the impression of the said books, without the freewill and consent 
of the said petitioner, and that under penalty of confiscation of the 
books which shall be found to have been printed to the prejudice of 
this our present permission and arbitrary amend 

We do therefore hereby will and command you and each one of 
you in his place and as to him it shall belong, that you entertain, 
guard and observe our present leave, licence and permissions, inhibitions 
and interdicts. And if any have been found to have contravened, 
proceed and cause process to be taken against them by the pains 
aforesaid and otherwise. And cause the said petitioner to enjoy and 
use fully and peaceably that which is contained hereabove during the 
said time to begin and everything as above is said, ceasing and causing 
to cease all troubles and hindrances to the contrary. For such is our 
pleasure, notwithstanding all ordinances, restrictions, commands or 
interdicts whatever contrary to this. And for that copies of these 
presents may be made in several and divers places we will that on the 
vidimus* thereof made under the seal royal obedience be given as 
to this original present. 

Given at Saint Germain in Laye the sixth day of August the year 

of grace one thousand five hundred and fifty and the fourth of 

our reign. 

By order of the King. 

Present — The Cardinal of Chatillon. 
(Signed) Du Thier. 4 

s Cf. p. 372, n. 2* * This privilege accompanied the edition 

Ainsi que ce vidimus portc. of 1 5 5^ 






Good people, most illustrious Topers, and you thrice-precious gouty 
Gentlemen, did you ever see Diogenes, the cynic Philosopher ? 

If you have seen him, you had not lost your Sight, or I am verily 
gone far astray from Intelligence and logical Sense. Tis a fine Thing 
to see the Brightness of the Sun on Wine and Crowns. 1 For this I 
refer the Question to the Man born blind, so much renowned by the 
sacred a Scriptures, who, having the Choice to ask for anything he » Matt ». 30-34; 
would, at the Command of Him who is almighty, and whose Word is Luc. zvL 35.4a! ' 
in an Instant represented by Act, asked for nothing more than to see. 

You likewise are not young ; the which is a Quality making compe- 
tent to philosophise, in Wine, not in vain (en vin, non en vain), nay 
even more than physically, and hereafter to be of the Bacchic Council, 
so as in tasting to test the Substance, Colour, Odour, Excellence, 
Eminence, Property, Faculty, Virtue, Effect and Worth of the blessed 
and desired Liquor. 

If you have not seen him, (as I am easily induced to believe,) at least 
you have heard speak of him. For through the Air and all this Sky has 
his Fame and Name up to this present remained memorable and cele- 
brated enough. And then, you are all derived from the Blood of 

1 With a play on Sun-crowns (escuz au Soldi). 


Phrygia, 2 or I am deceived ; and if you have not as many Crowns as 
Midas 8 had, yet you have of him I know not what, which of old the 
Persians esteemed more in all their Otacustsf and which the Emperor 
Antoninus more desired ; from which, in later Times, the Basilisk of 
Rohan 5 was surnamed Fine-ears. 

If you have not heard speak of him, I will tell you a Story of him 
presently, in order to broach my Wine — so drink — and my Subject — so 
listen. At the same time I warn you (so that you may not in your 
Simplicity be deluded like Infidels) that in his Time he was a rare 
Philosopher and the jolliest among a thousand. If he had some Imper- 
fections, so have you, so have we. There is nothing save God that is 
perfect. So it is that Alexander the Great, though he had Aristotle for 
his Preceptor and Private Secretary, held him in such Esteem that he 
wished, if he had not been Alexander, to have been Diogenes of Sinope. 6 

When Philip, King of Macedonia, 7 undertook the Siege and Over- 
throw of Corinth, the Corinthians, advertised by their Spies that he was 
coming against them in mighty Array and with a numerous Host, were 
all, and not without Reason, affrighted, and were not neglectful carefully 
each one to set himself to Work in his Duty to resist this hostile 
Approach, and to defend their City. 

Some from the Fields brought into the Strongholds Movables, Cattle, 
Corn, Wine, Fruits, Victuals and necessary Provisions ; 

Others fortified Walls, set up Bastions, squared Ravelins, dug 
Trenches, cleansed Countermines, fenced themselves with Gabions, 
contrived Platforms, emptied Casemates, barricaded Counter-breast- 
works, erected Cavaliers, repaired Counterscarps, plaistered Curtains, 

s A scoffing allusion to the belief of the Herodian, iv. 12, § 3 ; Dion Cass, lxxvii. 

French that they were descended from the 17, fi 1 ; cf. iv. 55, a. 
Phrygians through the Romans and Aeneas. B The basilisk or serpent of the house 

s The story of Midas, king of Phrygia, of Rohan played the same part as Melu- 

having been endowed by Bacchus with sina in that of Lusignan. A serpent 

the power of turning everything into gold which was in the house of the Counts of 

and being relieved of this fatal gift by Leon, from which the Rohans derived 

washing in the Pactolus, and afterwards their inheritance and title, was killed by 

having the ears of an ass given him by St. Pol, first Bishop of Leon. 
Apollo, was probably taken from Ovid, • Cf. Pint Alex. c. 14 ; Diog. Laert 

Met. xi. 85-193. vi § 38 ; Juv. xiv. 311. 

4 The otacusts (umucowrral) were, ac- 7 This is amplified by Rabelais mere 
cording to Plutarch and Apuleius, the suo from Ludan, de historia cowcribenda, 
names given to the spies and informers of c. 3. The epistle of Raphe Robynson 
the Persian king Darius. Antoninus dedicating the translation of Sir T. 
Caracalla is recorded to have been a More's Utopia to William Cecil, after- 
great busybody, and to have kept a staff wards Lord Burleigh, begins with a trans- 
of spies and secret police (otacusts). lation of this passage of Lucian. 

prol. PANTAGRUEL 377 

set out Palisades, 8 sloped Parapets, mortised Barbicans, furnished 
Battlements with Pikes, renovated Portcullises both Saracenic and 
descending ones, stationed Sentries, sent out Patrols. 

Every one kept Watch and Ward, every one bore his Burden. 

Some polished Corselets, varnished Backs and Breasts, cleaned 
Housings, Front-stalls, Haubergeons, Brigandines, Sallets, Beavers, 
Head-pieces, Double-pikes, Helmets, Morions, Coats of mail, Chain- 
armour, Vambraces, Thigh-pieces, Gussets, Gorgets, Hoguines, Breast- 
pieces, Scale-armour, Hauberks, Shields, Bucklers, Boots, Greaves, 
Foot-pieces, Spurs. 

Others made ready Bows, Slings, Arbalests, Bullets, Catapults, 
b Phalaricas, Grenades, Stink-pots, Fireballs and Brands, Ballistae, *virg.Acn.ix. 
Scorpions and other warlike Engines repugnatory and destructive to the 
Helepolides; 9 

They sharpened Scythes, Pikes, Maces, Halberds, Brown-bills, 
Missiles, Lances, Assegais, Quarter-staves, Partisans, Clubs, Battle-axes, 
Darts, Dartlets, Javelins, Javelots, Boar-spears ; 

They set edges on Scymetars, Cutlasses, Badelairs, Backswords, 
Tucks, Rapiers, Bayonets, Stilettos, Dirks, Daggers, Short-swords, 
Poniards, Knives, Whinyards and Barbs. 

Every man exercised* his Weapon ; every man scoured the rust from 
his own Hanger; 

There was no Woman, however prudish or old, who did not get her 
Harness furbished ; as you know the Corinthian Women of old were 
courageous Combatants. 

Diogenes, seeing them all so warm at Work, and not being employed 
by the Magistrates in doing anything, for some Days did contemplate 
their Countenance without saying a Word. Then, as though stirred by 
a martial Spirit, he girded his Cloak scarf-wise, tucked up his Sleeves to 
the Elbows, trussed himself like a c Man gathering Apples, handed to « ex u. 9. 
an old Comrade his Wallet, his Books and Opisthographs, 10 made off 
out of the Town towards Cranium, 11 which is a Hill and Promontory of 
Corinth and a fine Esplanade ; and thither rolled his earthenware Tub, 

8 Palisades, Fr. moineaux, a kind of 9 t.e, to repel and destroy the assail- 
flat bastion in a curtain between two ants (i\ero\ldtt). 

bastions to shelter sharpshooters. Com- M mtJ . ., ., 00 

/ • *\ „a •fwi™ • Opisthographs = MSS. written on 

mines says (vi. 6) : " Aussi feit (a Plessis . , . f d r 

du Pare) quatre moyneaulx y tous de fer 

espeys, en lieu oil Ton povoit tyrer a son u MyxtuftyhpdtdytaripTifKpapdtfiT^ 

ayse : et estoit chose bien triumphante, et rp6 rfjt Kopbdov yviwcvUf (Diog. Laert 

cousta plus de vingt mil francs : et a la vi. 2, § 77). 

fin mit quarante arbalest riers," etc 


which served him for an House against the Inclemency of the Sky, and 
in great Vehemency of Spirit putting out his Strength, he did 

twirl it, whirl it, 

rumble it, scumble it, 

hustle it, justle it, rustle it, 

thatch it, scratch it, patch it, churn it, 

saddle it, paddle it, fumble it, jumble it, tumble it, 

stamp it, damp it, ting it, ring it, stopple it, unstopple it, 

shift it, 

fasten it, bandy it, whittle it, 

waggle it, 

hurl it, 

slash it, 

bangle it, wrangle it, 

tilt it, swill it, tackle it, shackle it, 

level it, prop it, block it, 

shake it down, pick it up, pack it up, 

perch on it, mount it (on a gun-carriage), 

muffle it, nail it, smooth it, 

pitch it, parboil it, pat it, 

furnish it, 

hoist it up, throw it down, 

twist it, 

shell it, scale it, 

charm it, arm it, fit it, 

harness it, beplume it, caparison it, 
and then tumble it down from the Hill to the Valley along the Cranium, 
and again carry it back from the Valley up the Hill, as Sisyphus does 
his Stone, 18 insomuch that he went mighty near knocking the Bottom out. 

Seeing this, one of his Friends asked him what Cause moved him 
thus to torment his Body, his Mind and his Tub ? To whom answered 
the Philosopher, that not being employed in any other Office by the 
Republic, he stormed tempestuously on his Tub in this fashion, so that 
among this People so fervently busy, he alone should not be seen a 
loitering Slug and an idle Fellow. 

In like manner I, 

Though I be void of Fear, 
Am still not free from Care, 

u Cf. Horn. 0<L xi. 593-599. 

SisyphtT versat 
Saxum sudans nitendo neque proficit hilum. 

Quoted by Cic Tttse. Dup. L 5, f xo. 

prol. PANTAGRUEL 379 

seeing that there is no Account made of me as worthy of Employment, 
and considering throughout the whole of this most noble Realm of 
France, 18 both this and that Side of the Mountains, every one at this 
time is earnestly busying himself and working, partly at the Fortification 
and Defence of his Country, partly in repelling and attacking its 
Enemies; everything so excellently regulated, so admirably ordered, 
and so manifestly with a view to Advantage for the future — for here- 
after France will have her Borders magnificently enlarged, and the 
French will be assured of a long Repose — that a very small Matter 
keeps me from entertaining the Opinion of the good Heraclitus, which 
affirms that War is the Father of all good Things ; M and I truly believe 
that War is styled in Latin Bellum (a fine thing), not by Antiphrasis, 16 
as certain Botchers of old rusty Latin Tags have believed, because in 
War they saw but little Beauty, but absolutely and simply, by reason 
that in War appears everything that is fair and handsome, everything 
that is foul and ugly is kept out of Sight That such is the Case, is 
shewn, in that the wise and pacific Solomon knew not better how to 
represent to us the unspeakable Perfection of the Divine Wisdom than 
by comparing it to the Array of an Army in the Field. 10 

By reason therefore of not being enrolled and put in the Rank of 
the attacking Force of my Countrymen, who have esteemed me too 
weak and unable ; and on the other Side, which is the defensive, not 
being employed in any way ; had it been only in carrying Hods, placing 
Sods, twisting Rods, or breaking Clods, it were all one to me : I have 
put it down as more than ordinarily disgraceful, to be seen an idle 
Spectator of so many valorous, eloquent and warlike Persons, who in the 
View and Sight of all Europe act in this notable Interlude and Tragi- 
comedy, and not to exert myself, not to expend thereon this Nothing 
that remained to me, my All. For little Glory seems to me to accrue 
to those who in this only employ their Eyes, and for the rest spare their 
Strength, conceal their Crowns and hide their Silver ; scratching their 
Head with one Finger, 17 like jaded Dandies, gaping at Flies like tithe 

u The allusion is to the resumption of per antiphrasin igitur, hoc est per contra- 

hostilities between Francis I. and Charles dictionem, pro malo bellum dicitur " 

V. in 1542, when France, menaced on all (Priscian, Partiiiones xii. Vers, Princ, 

sides by the Emperor and his allies, was Aen. ; viil) 
preparing an heroic defence (Lacroix). u Song of Songs, vi. 4 and 10 : 

M *-6Xe/*oj rdrrw fiky wartjp Jm "Terribilis ut castrorum acies ordinata." 

•k6»tw ft /3o<riXei5f (Plutarch, de Is. et Osir. 17 iv - 6 3» v - *°- 

C 48 170 D) Qui digito scalpunt uno caput, 

^' "*' '* Juv. tz. 133. 

u " Bellum unde derivatur ? Ab eo This is taken from an epigram by Calvus 

qnod est bonum bellum diminutivum est ; on Pompeius Magnus, frag. 18. 




d Plut. Q. Conv. 
vii. 10, 7x5 b. 

Calves, pricking up their Ears like Asses of Arcadia 18 to the Tune of the 
Musicians, and shewing by their Countenance in Silence that they con- 
sent to the Travesty. 

Having made this Choice and Election, I thought to take up an 
Exercise neither useless nor out of season, if I should tumble my 
Diogenical Tub, which alone is left to me from the Shipwreck of my 
Past at the Lighthouse of Misfortune. 19 At this Rumbling of my Tub, 
what shall I do by your Advice ? By the Virgin who tucks herself 
up, 20 I know not as yet. Wait a little till I suck down a Draught 
from this Bottle. Tis my true and only Helicon ; 'tis my caballine 
Fountain ; 21 'tis my one Inspiration. 

Here drinking I deliberate, I discourse, I resolve, and I conclude. 
After the Epilogue I laugh, I write, I compose, I drink. Ennius drinking 
wrote, and writing drank; Aeschylus, if you have any Faith in Plutarch 
(in d Symposiacis) y drank composing, drinking composed ; Homer never 
wrote fasting; Cato never wrote but after drinking. 22 So that you 
should not say that I thus live without Example of Men well praised 
and better prized. 

It is good and fresh enough, as you would say at the Beginning of 
the second Degree. 28 God, the good God of Sabaoth, that is to say, of 
Hosts, be eternally praised for it. Likewise if you should take one 
great Draught or two little ones, on the sly, 24 I find no Objection to it, 
provided that you give to God a Scantling of Thanks for all. 

Since then such is my Lot or my Destiny — for it is not given to 
every one to go to and live in Corinth 26 — I am resolved to serve both 
the one and the other; so far am I from remaining a Loiterer and 

Amongst the Diggers, Pioneers and Engineers, I will do what 

18 "Arcadiae pecuaria" (Pers. iii. 9). 
6Vo* Xtf/Mu dxofcif kwQv r& &ra (Luc adv. 
Indoct. c. 4). 

19 Fr. Far de MaPenamtre, with a play 
on Faro di Messina. 

M Probably referring to some repre- 
sentation of the Virgin on a window, or 
perhaps S. Maria Aegyptiaca. Cf. Leg. 
Aureaj c 56. 

u Helicon is the Muses' mountain in 
Boeotia, Hippocrene (the forts eaballinus 
of Persius) the fountain there created by 
a stroke from the hoof of Pegasus. 

92 C£ Hor. Epp. L 19, 6 sqq.\ 

Laudibus arguttur vini vinosus Homcrns ; 
Ennius ipse pater numquam nisi potus ad anna 
Prosiluit dicenda. 

Narratur et prisci Catonis 

Saepe mero incalaisse virtus. 

Od. in. si, xz. 

second Degree, i.e. of heat Aliments 
were considered in ancient medicine very 
much in accordance with their different 
degrees of cold, moisture and heat 

u en robber sous cape, a la derobee. 

* 06 tovt6s &*8pk is KdptpOo* 1*0* 6 
t\ovs. Quoted in Aul. Gell. L 84. 

Nan cuivis homini oootingit adire Corinthum. 

Hor. Epp. v 17, 3& 




Neptune and Apollo did in Troy under Laomedon, 28 what Renaud of 
Montaulban 9 did in his latter Days ; I will serve the Masons, I will 
put on the Pot for the Masons, and the Meal finished, to the Sound of 
my little Pipe I will measure the Muzzle of the musing Dotards. It was 
thus that Amphion founded, built and reared the great and celebrated 
City of Thebes, by the Sound of his Lyre. 28 

Among the Warriors I am about to broach my Cask again, and from 
the Drawing off — which would have been well enough known to you 
before by two preceding Volumes, if they had not been perverted and 
spoiled by the Deceitfulness of the Printers M — to draw unto them of 
the Growth of our cenatory Pastimes a good Third (barrel) and suc- 
cessively a jovial Fourth (barrel) of Pantagruelic Sentences — you have 
my License to call them Diogenical — and they shall have me, since I 
cannot be their Companion-in-arms, for their faithful Steward, cheering, 
as far as my little Power goes, their Return from the Alarms, and for 
their Eulogist, I say indefatigable Eulogist, of their Prowess and 
glorious Deeds of Arms. I will not fail therein by lapathium acutum 80 
de Dieu^ if Mars fail not in Lent ; but he will take good care of that, 
the Lecher. 

Nevertheless, I remember to have read e that Ptolemy the son of • Lucian in 
Lagus one day, from among other Spoils and Booty of his Conquests, tti<*num t c. 4. 
presented to the Egyptians at a crowded Theatre a Bactrian Camel 
quite black, and a Slave parti-coloured in such sort that one half of 
his Body was black, the other white, not divided across by the Dia- 
phragm (as was the Woman consecrated to the Indian Venus, who was 
observed by the Tyanian Philosopher 81 between the River Hydaspes 
and Mount Caucasus), but in Length perpendicularly. Such things had 
not yet been seen in Egypt, so that he hoped, by the Offer of these 
Novelties, to increase the Love of the People towards himself. 

But what came of it? At the Production of the Camel, they were 
all frightened and offended ; at the Sight of the parti-coloured Man, 
some scoffed and others loathed him as a detestable Monster, created 

98 Horn. II. xxi 442-457; Ov. Met. 
xi. 199 sqq. ; Hor. Od. iii. 3, 21 ; Lucian, 
de Saerif. 4. 

27 In the last chapter of les quatre fits 
Aymon Renault served the masons by way 
of penance. 

* Dictoset Amphion Thebonae conditor arris 
Saxa movere sono testudinis. 

Hor. A.P. 394. 

* This is an allusion which occurs 

also elsewhere (Privilege of Francis I. 
and Henry II.), to the effect that the 
printers put asne for asme; which was 
probably Rabelais' own doing in the first 
editions, and which he thought better to 
alter and disavow in later ones. 

90 lapathium acutum, a common plant 
known under the name ol patience. 

11 Apollonius of Tyana. Philostrat. 
Vit. Apoll. iiL 3, p. 45. 


by a Mistake of Nature. In a word, the Hope that he had, to do 
Pleasure to the Egyptians, and by this means to increase the Affection 
which they naturally bore to him, slipped through his Fingers ; and he 
learned that they took more Pleasure and Delight in things that were 
handsome, elegant and perfect, than in things that were ridiculous and 
misshapen. After this time he held Slave and Camel alike in Con- 
tempt ; so much so that soon after, from Neglect and lack of ordinary 
Maintenance, they exchanged Life for Death. 

This Example makes me waver between Hope and Fear, having 
Misgivings lest, instead of the Content I propose to myself, I encounter 
that which I detest ; lest my Treasure become Coals ; instead of Venus, 
Barbet the Dog 83 turn up; instead of serving them, I offend them; 
instead of delighting, I displease them, and that my Fortune resemble 
that of Euclio's Cock, so renowned by Plautus in his Pot, and Ausonius 
in his Riddle, 83 and elsewhere ; who for having discovered the Treasure 
by his scratching, had his Throat cut for his Pains. 

Put the Case, would it not be for busybodying? 84 Formerly it so 
happened ; it may so happen again. It will not be so, by Hercules ! w 
I perceive in them all a specific Form and individual Property, which 
our Ancestors called Pantagruelism ; by virtue of which they will never 
take in bad Part any Things whatsoever they shall recognise as spring- 
ing from good, open and loyal Feelings. I have commonly seen them 
take good Will for Payment and be content therewith, when it has been 
associated with lack of Means. 

This Point settled, I return to my Tub. Up, my Lads, to this Wine ! 
Drink, my Boys, with full Cups. If it seems good to you — leave it 
alone. I am not one of those importunate Huff-snuffs (lifrelafres) M 
who by Force, Outrage and Violence constrain the Lances 8 * and Com- 
rades to drink, nay, to carouse and drink all out, 88 which is worse. 
All honest Topers, all honest gouty Gentlemen, being athirst and 
coming to this Barrel of mine, drink not if they do not wish ; if they 
wish, and the Wine is to the Taste of their worshipful Worships, let 

w Cf. Propert. iv. 8, 45 ' u Read ckcureUr (with M. ) as being a 

Me quoquc per talos Vvurem quaerente secundos P* tois > iattead of chewtter, which means 
Semper damnosi subsilaere casus. to be angry, impatient. 

is ni * aii - •" * ,^t.tai\ * Hercules as the god of gain, as was 

» Plaut. Aululana, m. 4, io (466) : ^^ {Maauy) ■» 

Euclio. Capio fustem, obtrunco gallum, farem * C£ ii. 2 , iiL 8, for philosophers, 

manafestanum. „ , , , . * 

Auson. Gryphus, xi. 26 : • Fr. trinquer carous et alluz. From 

Ter dan instantis Ed Germ. Zum gar cuts und allaus trinken. 

Signa caoit serus, deprenso Matte, satelles. From this comes our word ' carouse.' 




them drink frankly, freely and boldly, without paying anything, and 
spare not Such is my Decree ; and have no fear that the Wine run 
short as it did at the Marriage of Cana in Galilee. As much as you 
shall draw out at the Tap, so much will I tun in at the Bung. So shall 
the Cask remain inexhaustible; it has a living Spring and unfailing Source. 

Such was the Beverage contained within the Cup of Tantalus, 89 
figuratively represented among the Brahmin Sages ; 

Such was the Mountain of Salt in Iberia, 40 so much renowned by 

Such was the golden Bough dedicated to the Goddess beneath the 
Earth, so celebrated by Virgil ; 41 

Tis a true Cornucopia of Merriment and Raillery. 

If sometimes it seems to you to be exhausted right to the Lees, for 
all that it will not be drawn quite dry. Good Hope lies at the Bottom, 
as in Pandora's Box, 42 and not Despair, as in the leaky Tub of the 
Danaides. 48 

Mark well what I have said, and what Manner of People I invite. 
To the end that none may be deceived, after the Example of Lucilius, 44 
who protested that he wrote only for his own Tarentines and Consen- 
tines, I give Notice that I have broached it only for you honest Folk, 
Drinkers of the first Quality, and gouty Blades of the highest Walk. 45 

The Gift-devouring Giants, 46 Swallowers of Fogs, have Aucupations 
enough, and Sacks enough on the Hook for Venison ; let them find 
Employ in that if they will ; their Game is not here. 

89 Philost Vit. ApolL iii. 25, p. 54 : 
<pi6>ofP re Tpo&rwep [to Tarr&kov AyaX/ta] 
&TCXP&W M 6i\f>QpTi, eV $ ordXayfta 
AcdgXafci' dxrfpdrov ir&fuiTos, 06% farcp- 
/fttffor -rffi <pt&\rji. Also chap. 32, p. 57. 

40 Cf. AuL Geil. ii. 22, § 29 : " M. Cato 
in libris originum . . . cum de Hispanis 
scriberet, qui citra Hiberum colunt, verba 
haec posuit : ' Sunt in his regionibus fer- 
rareae, . . . mons ex sale mero magnus, 
quantum demas tantum adcrescit' " 

41 Am. vi. 143 : 

uno avolso noo deficit alter 
Aureus, et simili frondescit virga metalla 

41 Pandora's box. Cf. Hesiod, Op. 

«• inane lymphae 

Dolium fundo pereuntis imo. 

Hot. Od. iii. 11, 33. 

44 Lucilius. This has reference to a 

passage in Cicero, de Fin. L 3, § 7 : " Nee 
vero, ut noster Lucilius, recusabo quo- 
minus omnes mea legant. Utinam esset 
ille Persius ! Sdpio vero et Rutilius 
multo magis ; quorum ille judicium refor- 
midans, Tarentinis ait se et Consentinis et 
Siculis scribere." Lucilius had written 
a history in Greek, and was afraid of 
the criticism of the elegant Scipio, so he 
declares that he wrote for the bilinguists, 
who spoke Greek and Latin, or rather 
Oscan, and so were not such refined 
critics of Greek. 

46 de franc aJ/cu, of allodial lands, free- 
hold, that are subject to no seignorial 

46 Gift-devouring Giants. This refers 
to the judges. Swallowers of fog or mist, 
according to Cotgrave, means that they 
get up early in the morning, and so are 
avaJUurs defrimai. 


Of the Big-wigs and the prying Garblers, who search for Corrections, 
do not speak to me, I beseech you, in the Name of and for the Rever- 
ence you bear to the four Hips that engendered you, and the quickening 
Peg which at that time united them. 

Of the Levitical Hypocrites still less, though they be all outrageous 
Drinkers, all pockified and mangy, furnished with unquenchable Thirst 
and insatiable Eating. 

And why ? Because they are not of good but of evil, of that Evil 
from which we daily pray God to deliver us ; howbeit they sometimes 
counterfeit Devotion. Never did an old Ape make pretty Mouths. 

Hence, Curs ! out of my Course 1 out of my Sunshine, Scum ! to the 
Devil with you ! Do you come hither, Bob-tails, to sniff at my Wine and 
then bep — s my Barrel ? See here is the Cudgel which Diogenes by 
t cic. Tusc. d. his Will f ordered to be placed near him after his Death, to drive away 
and break the Backs of those Hobgoblins of the Tomb and Cerberian 

Be packing, Hypocrites ! To your Sheep, Dogs ! Clear out, Dis- 
semblers, to the Devil! Ha! are you still there? I renounce my 
Share of Papimanie if I snap you. Gzz. Gzzzzzzz. A vaunt ! A vaunt ! 
Will they never begone ? 

Never may you be eased but by Lashings of Stirrup-leathers ! 

May you never p — s but by the Strappado ! 

May you never be warmed save by Blows from Cudgels ! 


Pantagrubl transplants a colony of Utopians into Dipsodia, i. Panurge 
is made chatelain of Salmigondin in Dipsodia, ii. His praise of debtors 
and lenders, iii. iv. Pantagruel detests them, v. Questions on marriage 
and war and their rights, vi-viii. Panurge asks whether he should 
marry, ix. By PantagrueFs advice he consults the Sortes Virgilianae, 
dreams, the Sibyl of Panzoust, a dumb man, an old poet at point of 
death, Epistemon, Her Trippa the astrologer, Friar John, a Theo- 
logian, a Physician, a Philosopher, x-xxxviii. Pantagruel takes part in 
the judgment on Bridlegoose the legist, xxxix-xliv. Panurge consults 
Triboulet the fool, xlv. xlvL Pantagruel and Panurge determine to visit 
the oracle of the holy bottle, xlvii. xl viii. Of the herb called Pantagruelion, 

vol. I 2 c 



How Pantagruel transported a Colony of Utopians into Dipsodia 

Pantagruel, after having wholly subdued the Land of Dipsodia, 1 trans- 
ported thither a Colony of Utopians, to the number of 9,876,543,210 
Men, besides Women and little Children, Artificers of all Trades and 
Professors of all liberal Sciences, to renovate, people and cultivate that 
Country, which otherwise was thinly inhabited and in great part deserted. 
And he transported them, not so much for the excessive Number of 
Men and Women, that had multiplied like Locusts in Utopia — (You 
understand well enough, there is no Need further to set forth to you, 
that the Utopians had their Genitories so fruitful, and the Utopian 
Women carried Matrices so ample, greedy, retentive and cellulated by 
fine Architecture, that at the end of every nine Months, seven Children 
at the least, Male or Female, were born to each Marriage in imitation 
of the Jewish People in Egypt, if de Lyra* be not delirious) — not so 
much also for the Fertility of the Soil, Salubrity of the Air, and Con- 
venience of the Land of Dipsodia, as for the purpose of keeping that 
People to their Duty and Obedience, by the new Importation of his 
ancient and loyal Subjects, who from Time out of Mind had known, 
recognised and owned no other Lord, nor served other than him, and 
who from the time of their Birth and Entry into the World had, with 
the Milk of their nursing Mothers, sucked in the Sweetness and Gentle- 
ness of his Rule, and were always 8 built up and nurtured in the same. 
Which was a sure Hope that they would sooner fall away from the Life 

1 Or Land of Thirst to have been said in commenting on 

8 Nicholas dt Lyra. Cf. ii. 4, n. 3. Dent, iii.: "Hie Lira delirat, Lambinus 

Erasmus speaks contemptuously of him lambinat, Justus Lipsius juste lapsus 

in his Encomium Moriae (ad Jin,) as est." 

tiros vpbt \6pav t wresting the manifest * tous-dis is still used in several patob 

sense of Scripture. It is reported also for toujour*. 

'A+ *' 




in their Body, than the original and singular Submission naturally due 
to their Prince, whithersoever they should be dispersed or removed. 
And not only would they be such, both they and their Children success- 
ively born of their Race, but also they would keep in the same Fealty 
and Obedience the Nations newly joined to his Empire. This actually 
came to pass, and he was in nowise disappointed in his Determination; 
for if the Utopians, before this Transplanting, had been loyal and dutiful, 
the Dipsodes, after having conversed with them a few Days, were even 
more so, by Virtue of I know not what Fervency natural to all human 
Beings, at the Beginning of all Work which is after their Liking ; they 
only complained, calling to witness all the Heavens and the guiding 
Intelligences, that the Renown of the good Pantagruel had not sooner 
come to their Knowledge. 

You will note then here, good Topers, that the proper Manner of 
preserving and retaining Countries newly conquered is not (as hath 
been the erroneous Opinion of certain tyrannical Spirits, 4 to their 
own Hurt and Dishonour) to pillage the People, distressing, racking 
with Taxes, ruining, harassing and ruling them with Rods of Iron — in 
a word, eating and devouring them, after the fashion of the unjust King 
whom Homer calls Ai//«>/Jd/>os, 6 that is to say, Devourer of his PeopU. 

On this Subject I will not bring to your Notice the ancient Histories; 
I will only call to your Recollection what your Fathers have seen, and 
yourselves too, if you are not too young. 

Like Children newly-born, one should suckle, cradle and dandle them. 

Like Trees newly planted, one should prop, strengthen and defend 
them against all Tempests, Injuries and Calamities. 

Like a Person lately saved from a long and dangerous Sickness, who is 
now upon his Recovery, one should indulge them, spare them, cherish them. 

So that they may conceive this Opinion, that there is not in the World 
a King or Prince, whom they would less desire to have for an Enemy, 
more wish for as a Friend 

Thus Osiris, the great King of the Egyptians, subdued all the Earth, 
not so much by Force of Arms, as by easing People of their Burdens, 6 

4 This paragraph has, perhaps with 
justice, been supposed to be directed against 
the politics of Machiavelli and his school, 
which had become popular in France 
after the marriage of Henry II. with 
Catherine de' Medici (1533). Machia- 
velli's Prince was published posthumously 
in 1532. Cf. especially cc v. and iii., in 
which there is a very acute examination 
of the policy of Louis XII. in Lombardy. 

II. x. 231. 

6 Fr. angaries i from Ayyapos, a 
Persian word signifying mounted courier. 
So used by Aeschylus (Ag. 282) of a 
beacon fire. From the power of impress- 
ment it got the meaning in late Latin of 
imposing grievous burdens, and is so used 
in the Vulgate : " Hunc angaria verunt ut 
tolleret crucem ejus " (Matt, xxvii. 32). 

chap, i PANTAGRVEL 389 

teaching them to live well and healthfully by suitable Laws, by Gracious- 
ness and good Deeds ; insomuch that by Mankind he was suraamed the 
great King Euergetes, that is to say Benefactor, by the Command of 
Jupiter made to one Pamyla. 7 

Indeed, Hesiod in his Hierarchy 8 places the good Daemons— call 
them if you will Angels or Geniuses — as Means and Mediators between 
Gods and Men, superior to Men but inferior to Gods; and because 
from their Hands come to us the Riches and Benefits of Heaven, and 
they are continually doing good to us, ever preserving us from evil, 
therefore he declares that they perform towards us the Office of Kings, 
because ever to do Good and never 111 is an Act singularly royal. 

Thus was Alexander of Macedon Emperor of the Universe ; 

Thus was the whole Continent possessed by Hercules, by relieving 
men from Monsters, Oppressions, Exactions and Tyrannies ; governing 
them with good Direction, maintaining them in Equity and Justice, 
instructing them with kindly Regiment and Laws convenient for the 
Situation of the various Countries ; supplying what was wanting, and 
retrenching what was superfluous; pardoning also all that was past, 
with a perpetual Oblivion of all preceding Offences ; as was the Case 
with the Amnesty * of the Athenians, when by the Prowess and Energy 
of Thrasybulus the Tyrants were exterminated ; an Amnesty afterwards 
set forth by Cicero in Rome, and renewed under the Emperor Aurelian. 

These be the Philtres, Allurements ,0 and Enticements of Love, by 
means of which a man peaceably retains what he had painfully acquired ; 
and the Conqueror cannot reign more happily, be he King, Prince or 
Philosopher, than by making Justice second his Valour. 

His Valour has been shewn in his Victory and Conquest ; his Justice 
will appear in that, by the Goodwill and Affection of the people he will 
give Laws, publish Edicts, establish Religion, and do Right to every 
one, as the noble Poet Maro says of Octavian Augustus : 

7 This is a story taken from Plutarch's discordiis era! ma cmtas ilia ; atqne 

de It. tt Osir. c 12, 355 E. Onmcm memoriam discord iarum oMviane 

' i.e. Thtsgonia, The notion it really temjritema deletidam censui." Vopiscus, 

taken from Of. it Diet, 122: Vie. Aunt, c 39; " Amncstia etiam tub 

eo delictorum publicorum decreta est de 

uSSS-. *-~i.'"l.l,Z~7 t " m P , ° Attanmmm, cu,u. ra cum 

iimnlnw- mm! nv« j-i>« fimtiiS- irx—. Tullius in Philippicis meminit." 

10 iunges. From the Greek fcyf, a 

Also Plutarch, dr. Is. el Otir. c 26. wryneck, fastened to a wheel, yJiji^d, and 

• Amnettia. Cf. Xen. Hell. ii. 4, § 43 ; spun round fast This was supposed to 

Cic Phil. L I, g I : " Atbeniensiumque be an irresistible charm to recall roving 

renovavi vetus exemplum, graecum etiam affection. Cf. Theocr. ii. 17 : 

vet bum usurpovi, quo rum in sedandis Sb»(, Urn ii riM Ipfe nri Upm n. M>a. 


He who was Conqueror, with the Goodwill 
Of those he conquered, makes his Laws prevail. 

[Georg. iv. 561.] 

Therefore it is that Homer in his Iliad styles the good Princes and 
great Kings Koo-firjropa* XaSv, that is, Orderers of the People. 
» Plot. Quatst. Such was the Consideration that weighed with * Numa Pompilius, 
second King of the Romans, just, politic and philosophical, when he 
ordained that on the Day of his Festival, which was called Terminalia, 
nothing should be offered to the God Terminus, which had suffered 
Death ; thus teaching us that the Boundaries, Frontiers and Depend- 
encies of Kingdoms should be guarded in Peace, Amity and Gentle- 
ness, without polluting our Hands with Blood and Rapine. Whoso 
doeth otherwise shall not only lose what he hath gained, but shall also 
undergo this Scandal and Reproach, that he will be esteemed to have 
wickedly and wrongfully acquired it, because that what he hath gained 
hath been lost in his Hands ; for things ill acquired fall away evilly ; u 
and although throughout his Lifetime he have them in peaceable 
Enjoyment, still if what he hath acquired be lost in the Hands of his 
Heirs, a like Imputation will rest on the Deceased, and his Memory 
will be accursed as that of an unjust Conqueror; for in common 
Proverb you say : " Of things evilly acquired the Enjoyment cometh 
not to the third Inheritor." 12 

Note also, ye gouty Feoffees, 18 in this Matter, how by this means 
Pantagruel of one Angel made two, which is the opposite of what befell 
the Counsel of Charlemagne, 14 who of one Devil made two, when he 
transplanted the Saxons into Flanders and the Flemings into Saxony. 
For, not being able to keep in Subjection the Saxons, whom he had 
united to the Empire, but that at all times they would break out into 
Rebellion, if he happened to be drawn away into Spain or other distant 
Lands, he transplanted them into a Country that was his own and 
naturally obedient to him, namely Flanders ; and the Hainaulters and 
Flemings, his born Subjects, he transported into Saxony, without a 
Doubt as to their Loyalty, although they should be taken into a 
strange Land. But it turned out that the Saxons continued in their 
Rebellion and former Obstinacy, and the Flemings, dwelling in Saxony, 
imbibed the Manners and contradictory Spirit of the Saxons. 

u " Male parta male dilabuntur " u gouileux fieffet )( goutUux d frame 
(Naevius apud Cic. Phil, ii 27, § 65). alien. 

14 Charlemagne. This is from Sige- 
m " De mala qu*«itU vix gaudet tettiiis haerw." bcrt> m ^ Chronicle of the year 802. CI 

Quoted by Burton, Anal. Mel. i. 2, 3, 15, also Fauchet, Antiquitfs Gaukises, vii. 
in a note without author's name. c 11, on the year 804 (Duchat). 


How Panurge was made Governor of Salmigondin in Dipsodia 

and did eat up his Corn in the Blade 

In giving order for the Government of all Dipsodia, Pantagruel assigned 

the Barony of Salmigondin 1 to Panurge. It was worth each Year 

6,789,106,789 Philippes d'or* in fixed Revenue, without comprising 1 

the uncertain Income from Maybugs and Periwinkles, amounting, 

good Year and bad Year together, to from 2,435,768 to 2,435,769 

* French Crowns. Sometimes it amounted to 19234,554,321 b Seraphs » cr. l 8, n. 30. 

when it was a good Year, and Periwinkles and Maybugs were in ,L ,n ' 83 ' 

Demand. But that was not so every Year. 

And his Worship, the new Baron, managed so well and prudently 
that in less than fourteen Days he wasted and dilapidated the fixed 
and uncertain Revenue of his Barony for three whole Years; not 
dilapidated, 8 properly speaking, as you might say in founding 
Monasteries, erecting Temples, building Colleges and Hospitals, 
or throwing his Flitches of Bacon to the Dogs; but he spent it in 
a thousand little Banquets and jovial Feasts open to all Comers, 
especially to all good Companions, young Girls and pretty Wenches ; 
in felling Timber, burning the great Logs for the Sale of the Ashes, 
taking Money in advance, buying dear and selling cheap, and eating his 
Corn in the Blade. 4 

Pantagruel being advertised of this Afiair, was not in any way 
offended at it, or angry, or put out I have c already told you, and « a. 3*. 

1 Salmigondin, This was given to its Latin origin, spending money in stones, 

Rabelais himself ( Alcofribas) in ii. 32. or, as we should say, bricks and mortar. 

1 Fr. royaux % gold pieces of the reign * eating his Com in tJu Blade, a 

of Philippe-le-Bel (1290). proverbial expression meaning the most 

9 ditapider is used with an allusion to wasteful extravagance. 



tell you again, that he was the best little great Mannikin that ever 
girded Sword to his side. He took everything in good Part, interpreted 
every Action in a good Sense; never tormented himself never 
was scandalised. Indeed he would have been driven from the divine 
Mansion of Reason, if he had otherwise been grieved or afflicted 
For all the Good things which the Heaven covereth and the Earth 
containeth in all their Dimensions of Height, Depth, Length and 
Breadth, are not worth so much that we should disturb our Affections 
and trouble our Senses and Spirits for them. He only drew Panurge 
aside and gently pointed out to him that if he wished to live in this 
Style and not to keep House differently, it would be impossible, or 
at least very difficult, ever to make him rich. 

"Rich!" answered Panurge. "Had you set your Heart upon 
that? Had you taken Thought to make me rich in this World? 
Think to live merrily in the Name of "ye goode Godde and alle 
goode Menne"; let no other Cark nor Care be harboured in the 
sacro-sanctified Domicile of your celestial Brain. May the Serenity 
thereof never be troubled by any Clouds of Thought, flecked with 
Pain and Vexation. So long as you live jovial, hearty and merry, 
I shall be only too rich. 

" Everybody cries ' Thrift, Thrift,' but such speak of Thrift as know 
not one Whit what it is. It is of me that they should take Counsel ; 
it is of me, for the nonce, that you will take Advertisement, that 
what is imputed to me for a Vice has been done in Imitation of the 
University and Parliament of Paris, Places in which is to be found 
the true Source and lively Idea of Pantheology, 6 and also of all 
Justice. Let him be counted Heretic who doubts it and does not 
steadfastly believe it Yet they in a single Day eat up their Bishop, 
or the Revenue of their Bishopric fl — it is all one — for a whole Year, 
nay for two Years sometimes. 'Tis on the Day he makes his Entry 
upon it, and therein he has no Place for Excuse, unless he wishes to 
be stoned on the spot. 

" It hath also been an Act proceeding from the four Cardinal Virtues : 

"(i) From Prudence, in taking Money in Advance; for one 
knows not what may befall. 7 Who knows whether the World will 

5 Pantheology (iii. 18). The University took place on the entry of the Bishop 
of Paris from the first specially cultivated into his temporalities consumed some- 
the study of Theology, while Bologna times large sums. 

and the Italian Universities took up the 7 Fr. qui mord ru qui rut. Proverb, 
study of Law. " Who bites 4 or who plunges " (of a 

6 The festivals and banquetings that horse). 

chap, xi PANTAGRUEL 393 

last three Years longer? and even though it should last longer, is 
there a Man so foolish as to dare to promise himself three Years 
of Life? 

Man never found the Deities so kindly 
As to give certain Promise of a Morrow. 8 

" (2) From Justice. Commutative : in buying dear, I mean upon 
Trust, and selling cheap, I mean for ready Money. What says Cato 
in his Book on Husbandry on this Subject? 'The Father of a 
Family,' he says, ' must be a perpetual Seller,' ° by which means it is 
impossible but that he become rich at the end, if the Store always lasts. 

"Distributive: in giving Entertainment to good (mark good) and 
gentle Companions whom Fortune has thrown like d Ulysses on the d Hom. od. vi 
Rock of Good Appetite without Provision of Victuals, and to good 
(mark good) and young (mark young) Wenches ; for according to the 
e Sentence of Hippocrates Youth is impatient of Hunger, chiefly if it be •A/kor. x 7 , 18. 
vigorous, lively, brisk, stirring and bouncing; and these Lasses do 
willingly and heartily give Pleasure to good People, and are so far 
f Platonic and g Ciceronian that they consider themselves born into '£/*/. ix. 35 8 a. 
this World, not for themselves alone, but that of their own Selves they " L 
give Part to their Country, Part to their Friends. 

"(3) From Fortitude, in felling the great Trees like a second 
Milo ; 10 throwing down the dark Forests, which are Dens of Wolves, 
Boars and Foxes, Hiding-places of Brigands and Murderers, Lurking- 
holes for Assassins, Workshops for Forgers, Retreats for Heretics; 
levelling them for open Spaces and pleasant Heaths, playing the Haut- 
boys 11 on the high and stately Timber, and preparing Benches for 
the Eve of the Day of Judgment. 

"(4) From Temperance, in eating my Corn in the Blade, like a 
Hermit living on Salads and Roots, emancipating myself from sensual 
Appetites, and thus sparing for the Relief of those who are crippled 
and in Distress. For in so doing I save the Expense of 

the Weeders, who gain Money ; 

the Reapers, who drink lustily and without Water ; 

the Gleaners, who must have their Cakes ; 

a Nemo tam divot habuit fiwentes death in trying to rend a tree, which 

Cmsrinum ut posset sibi poIlicerL closed upon his hands and so held him a 

Seneca, ThyetUs, 6x9. defenceless prey to the wolves. VaL 

• " Patrem familias vendacem, non Max. ix. 12, 9 ; GeU. xv. 16. 

emacem esse oportet " (Cato, de Agri u jouant des haut hoys, a proverbial 

Cult, c 2, § 7). expression referring to a man who spoils 

10 This must refer to the story of Milo's his estate by selling the timber. 




the Threshers, who never leave Garlic, Onions or Chalots in the 
Gardens, on the authority of Thestilis in Virgil ; u 

the Millers, who are generally Thieves ; and 

the Bakers, who are but little better. 
Is this a small Saving? Besides, there is the Mischief done by 
Field-mice, the Decay of Barns, and the Waste made by Mites and 

"Of Corn in the Blade you make good Green-sauce, of a light 
Concoction and easy Digestion, which recreates your Brain, exhilarates 
the animal Spirits, rejoiceth the Sight, quickeneth the Appetite, 
delighteth the Taste, fortifieth the Heart, tickleth the Tongue, maketh 
the Complexion clear, strengthens the Muscles, tempers the Blood, 
stimulates the Diaphragm, refreshes the Liver, disobstructs the Spleen, 
easeth the Kidneys, suppleth the Reins, enliveneth the Vertebrae, 
empties the Ureters, dilates the Spermatic vessels, shortens the 
Cremasters, purgeth the Bladder, inflates the Genitories, corrects the 
Prepuce, hardens the Nut, rectifies the Member, and gives you a 
Stomach in fine Condition to perform all its Functions, 18 besides a 
thousand other rare Advantages." 

" I understand well," said Pantagruel ; " you would infer that Persons 
of a mean Spirit cannot spend much in a short Time. You are 
hSueton.Yi.30. not the first who conceived that Heresy. h Nero maintained it, and 
above all human Beings admired Caius Caligula his Uncle, who in 
a few Days had by marvellous Invention entirely spent all the 
Substance and Patrimony which Tiberius had left him. 

" But, instead of keeping and observing the Laws on Meals and 

sumptuary Laws of the Romans, viz. the Ux Orchia, Fannia, Didia\ 

iDiphflos ftp. Cornelia, Lepidiana and Antia^ and that of the 'Corinthians, by 

Athco. yi. 977 Km 

which they were every one rigorously forbidden to spend more m 
a Year than his annual Income brought in, you have made the 
Oblation of Protervia™ which was among the Romans a Sacrifice 

1* Thestyiis et rmpkio fesns menoribos aestu 
Alia serpulhunqoe herbas contundit olentis. 

Virg. Ec. U. xo. 

** all its Functions. I hope I may 
be forgiven for not patting down in 
rail the eighteen functions of the stomach 
which are in the text 

14 These laws are all mentioned in 
detail by Macrobius, Saturn, iii. 17, 

u Protervia. i.t. etna propter viam. 

This explanation and the story of Cato and 
Albidius which illustrates it, is taken from 
Macrob. ii. 2, § 4. In reading P ro t ervia* 
Rabelais must have been misled by an 
old uncorrected edition which followed 
the MS. reading prUervid for propter 
viam, Erasmus is similarly at fault, 
Adag. I 9, 44, from which the three 
last paragraphs of this chapter are most 
probably derived. C£ Plautus, Rudens, 

chap, ii PANTAGRUEL 395 

like the Paschal Lamb among the Jews, wherein all that was eatable 
was to be eaten and the rest thrown in the Fire, nothing to be reserved 
for the Morrow. 

" This I may fairly say of you, as Cato did of Albidius, who, after 
having by a most extravagant Expense eaten up all that he possessed, 
so that there remained nothing but a House, set fire to it within, 
in order to say Consummatum est. Just as afterwards St. Thomas 
Aquinas used those Words, when he had eaten up the whole Lamprey. 16 
But let that pass." 17 

u There was a well-known story of words Consummatum est. St. Thomas 

St. Thomas Aquinas, who at table with of Aquino in Calabria (1224- 1274) was 

St. Louis was composing a hymn on the a Dominican, scholar of Albertus Magnus, 

Sacrament, and abstractedly went on teacher in Paris and several Italian 

composing, and at the same time eating towns, opponent of Duns Scotus. 
a lamprey that was provided for the 17 Fr. cela non force, one is not obliged 

king. When he had finished the lamprey to believe it. A phrase used also by 

he finished also the hymn with the Montaigne. 



How Panu rge praiseth the Debtors and Borrowers 

" But," asked Pantagruel, " when will you be out of Debt ? " 

"On the Greek Calends," replied Panurge; "when all the World 
shall be content 1 and you shall be your own Heir. The Lord forbid 
that I should be out of Debt ; in that case I should not find any one to 
lend me a Penny. Who leaves not some Leaven overnight will not 
raise Dough in the Morning. 

" Ever be in Debt to some one. By this means Prayers will be 
continually offered up to God to grant you a good, long and happy 
Life ; through Fear of losing his Debt, your Creditor will ever speak 
well of you in all Companies, will always gain new Creditors for you 
so that by borrowing from them you may pay him, 2 and fill up his Ditch 
with other Folks' Earth. 
»Caes.£.c.vLx9. "Formerly in a Gaul, by the Institution of the Druids, the Serfs, 

Servants and Attendants were all burnt alive at the Funeral and 
Obsequies of their Lord and Master. Had they not a rare Fear then 
of their Lord and Master dying, seeing they must needs die together 
with him ? Did they not continually pray their mighty God Mercury 8 
and Dis, the Father of Crowns, 4 to preserve them long in Health? 
Were they not careful to serve and treat them well ? For thus they 
could live together, at least up to their Death. 

"Believe me that your Creditors will with more fervent Devotion 
pray God for your Life, and fear lest you should die, inasmuch as they 

1 Jc vous feray une belle cedulle • " Deum maxime Mercurium colunt ** 

A vous payer (sans usure, il s'entend) IB G vi. 17) 

Quand on verra tout le monde content. 

O. Marot, £/u. ao. « " Galli se omnes ab Dite patre prog- 

■ Fr. fain versure = Lat facere ver- natos dicunt" {B.G. vi. 18). Dis is 

suram (Cic Att. v. I, § 2), to borrow called ptrc des escuz, as identical with 

money to pay another debt Pluto, the god of hidden wealth. 

CHAP. Ill 



love the Sleeve 5 more than the Arm and the Penny better than their 
Lives. Witness the Usurers of Landerousse, 6 who not long since 
hanged themselves when they saw the Price of Corn and Wine falling 
and Good Times returning." 

Pantagruel answering nothing, Panurge continued : " In good sooth, 
Sir, when I think well on it, you drive me in a Corner and bring me to 
Bay 7 in twitting me with my Debts and Creditors. 

" 'Faith and indeed it was only in this Character that I looked upon 
myself as worshipful, reverend, and awe-inspiring ; in that (according to 
the Opinion of all Philosophers, who declare that of nothing nothing is 
made *) although I possessed nothing and no First Substance, I was a 
Maker and Creator. And that I had created — What ? — So many fair 
and jolly Creditors. 9 Creditors are — I maintain it even to the Fire, 
exclusively 10 — fair and goodly Creatures. Whoso lendeth nothing is a 
Creature ill-favoured and wicked, a Creature of the ugliest Devil of 

"And I had made — What? — Debts. A Thing rare and excellent. 11 
Debts, say I, exceeding in Number the Syllables resulting from the 
Combination of all the Consonants with the Vowels, formerly devised 
and calculated by the noble Xenocrates. 12 If you rate the Perfection 
of Debtors by the Multitude of their Creditors, you will not err in 
practical Arithmetic. 

"Think you not that I am glad when every Morning around me I 
see these Creditors, so humble, serviceable and profuse in Reverences ? 
And when I notice, that, as I shew a Countenance more open and 
cheerful to one than the others, the Fellow thinketh to get his Debt 

1 la mancht. This is probably an 
adaptation of the Italian buona mancia = 
pour-boiro. In French bonne-mam is 
still used. 

• Landerousse, mentioned v. Prol. 
It is uncertain who are meant In the 
year 1533 fertility returned after a fright- 
ful famine of five years' duration. 

7 Fr. romettoz a poind on ronJU veue. 
Cotgrave gives rw^e= hand-ruffe, a game 
at cards, and then the interpretation given 
in the text 

* Non ego euro 
Esse quod ArcesUas aertunnosique Solones 

Aegroti veteris meditantes somnia, gigni 
De nihilo nihil, in nihilnm nil posse reverti. 

Pen. iit 83-4. 

Plutarch, do vitand. aer. alien, 5, § 2 : ETra 
rww ifuHrucQr KaraytXCxri \cy6rrw ftjjtev 
Iff rod fiif oVrot yewioBcu' rapd Totfrow ybp 
Iff rod firjtf #V flrrof /-07W v<f>€orQrot ytv- 
pS.tcu roffOf. 

9 II n'est point de presteur 
(S'il realt prester) qui ne face on debteur. 

Q. Marot, £/. 99. 

10 Exclusively, i.e. I will affirm it but not 
go to the stake for it CI ii Prol. n. 9. 

11 Fr. antiquairo, here used in the 
sense of the Lat. antiquus, ancient, so 

u Xenocrates, leader of the Academics 
after Speusippus, calculated that the 
possible permutations of all the letters of 
the alphabet were 100,200,000. Plutarch, 
Quaest. Conv. viii. 9, § 13 (733 a). 




discharged the first, thinketh to be the first in Date of Payment, and 
believeth of my Smiles that they are as good as ready Money, meseemeth 
that I then act the Pkrt of the Deity in the Passion-play at Saumur, u 
accompanied by his Angels and Cherubims. These be my Fawners, my 
Parasites, my Saluters, my Givers of Good-morrows, my perpetual Orators. 
" And I verily thought that in Debts consisted the Hill of heroic 
b op. 989 *qq. ; Virtue described by b Hesiod, on which I kept the first Degree of my 
ucum, trm. jj cen ^ ate> ^ t this Degree of Excellence all human Beings seem to 



iv. 57. 

aim and aspire ; but few climb thither by reason of the Difficulty of the 
Way, seeing to-day the whole World is in fervent Desire and bustling 
Appetite of contracting Debts and making new Creditors. 

" Notwithstanding, it is not every one who wishes that is a Debtor ; 
it is not every one who wishes that makes Creditors. And yet you 
would deprive me of this sovereign Felicity. You ask me when I shall 
be out of Debt 

"And the Case is far worse than that. I give myself to Saint 
Babolin, 14 the good Saint, if I have not all my Life looked upon Debts 
as a Connexion and Colligation of the Heavens and the Earth, the one 
single Mainstay of the Race of Mankind — I say, that without which all 
human Beings would soon perish — perhaps that it is the great Soul of the 
Universe, 15 which, according to the Academics, gives Life to all things. 

" To prove this, represent to yourself in clear and unclouded Thought 
the Idea and Form of some World (take if you think good the thirtieth 
of those imagined by the Philosopher Metrodorus 10 or the seventy- 
eighth of Petron 17 ) in which there is no Debtor or Creditor whatever. 

" A World without Debts ! There, among the Planets will be no 
regular Course whatever; they will all be in Disorder. Jupiter, not 
reckoning himself in Debt to Saturn, will dispossess him of his Sphere, 
« //. via. 19-36. and with his Homeric c Chain will hang up all the Intelligences, Gods, 
Heavens, Daemons, Geniuses, Heroes, Devils, Earth, Sea and all the 

" Saturn will ally himself with Mars, and they will put all this World 
into Confusion. 

u Played in July 1534. It was prob- 
ably the Mystery of Jean Michel divided 
into four representations. It had been 
played at Angers in i486. 

14 Babolin, the first abbe* of St Maur 
des Fosses (Esmangart). 

u Soul of the Universe, Macrob. 
Somn. Scip. i. 14 ; Plato, Tim. 34 B-37 c. 

u Metrodorus in Plutarch, de Placitis 

PhilL i. 5, § 5 (879 c), maintained that 
the number of worlds was infinite. He 
was an Epicurean, native of Lampsacus, 
1 277 B.C. 

v Petron. He held a theory that there 
were 183 worlds arranged in the form of 
a triangle, 60 on each side and 3 at 
the angles. Plutarch, de Or. Defect, cc 
22-3. Cf. inf. iv. 55. 

CHAP. Ill 



" Mercury will not be willing to subject himself to the others ; he will 
no longer be their Camillus, 18 as he was styled in the Etruscan Tongue, 
for he is in nowise their Debtor. 

"Venus will no longer be venerated, for she will have lent nothing. 

"The Moon will remain blood-red and darkling; to what Purpose 
should the Sun Impart his Light to her? 10 He was noways bound to do so. 

"The Sun will not shine on their Earth. 

" The Stars will not send down their good Influence, 90 for the Earth 
hath desisted from affording them Nourishment by Vapours and Exhala- 
tions, by which Heraclitus 81 asserted, the Stoics proved, and Cicero 
maintained that the Stars were fed and alimented 

"Among the Elements there will be no Symbolisation, 82 Alternation, 
or Transmutation of any kind, for the one will not count itself obliged 
to the other ; it will have lent it nothing. Earth then will not be made 
Water ; Water will not be transmuted into Air ; Air will not be made 
into Fire, and Fire will afford no Heat to the Earth. The Earth will 
produce nothing but Monsters, Titans, Abides, 23 Giants; the Rain 
will not rain on it ; the Light will not lighten it ; the Wind will not 
blow on it ; there will be neither Summer nor Autumn ; Lucifer will 
break loose, and issuing from the Depths of Hell with the Furies, 
Fiends 84 and Horned Devils, will be wanting to unnestle from the 
Heavens all the Gods of the greater as well as the lesser Nations. 

" This World, lending nothing, will be no better than a Dog-kennel, 
a Wrangling-place more disorderly than that of the Rector of Paris, 85 
a Devils' Theatre more confounded than that of the Games at D0U& 86 

18 Camillus, an attendant messenger, 
with the Tuscans. Macrob. ill. 8, 5-7 ; 
Plat. Num. c. 7, Jin. 

u Nee fratris radiis obnoxia surgere Luna. 

Virg. Georg. L 396. 

80 Influence, much used as an astro- 

logical term. Cf. Milton : 

taught the fix'd 
Their influence malignant when to shower. 

Par. Lost, x. 669. 

Bending one way their precious influence. 
Hymn cm the Nativity, 71. 

n Plutarch, Plac. Phill. ii. 17, § 2 : 

'Rpdkketros koX cl Zrwucoi rp4<f>€ffdcu robs 

dffripat 4k -ri/s inytlov draOvfudaeun. 

Cic Not. Dear. ii. 15, § 40. Cf. Mayor's 

• note adloc. Cf. Shakesp. Tim. of Ath. 

iv. 3. 438-445- 

* Symbolisation, combining of ingre- 
dients in alchemy. 

** Hie et Aloldas geminos inmwnia vidi 
Corpora, qui manibus magnum rescindere 

Adgressi superisque Jovem detrudere regnis. 

Virg. A en. vL 582. 

Cfc also Horn. II. v. 385 ; Od. xi. 307. 

M Fr. Points. Uobn), one of the 
Furies, according to Plutarch {Mar. 
564 p), daughter of Zeus and Necessity, 
the other two being Adrastea and Erinnys. 

* Cf. iv. 20, n. 6. " Bref, il y avoit 
plus de tumultes, seditions, ligues et brigues 
qu'il n'y en a en la creation du recteur de 
rUniversite' de Paris que j'ay veu d'autre- 
fois ; je ne scay si cela dure " (Brantdme, 
le grand roy Francois, iii. p. 106; ed. 

98 Doue* being a small town, the 
Mystery-plays there could not be repre- 
sented in the same style and order as in 
the great cities. 

Plut. Anton, 70. 


" Among Men, the one will not save the other ; it will be lost Labour 
to cry ■ Help ! ' ' Fire ! ' ■ Water ! ' ' Murder ! ' for none will go to help. 
Why ? He had lent nothing ; no one owed him anything ; no one is 
concerned in his Burning, in his Shipwreck, in his Ruin, or in his Death. 
And that because he hitherto lent nothing, and also hereafter he would 
have lent nothing. 

" In short, from this World will be banished Faith, Hope, Charity \ 
for Men are born for the Aid and Succour of Men. In their stead will 
succeed Mistrust, Disdain, Rancour, with the Troop ** of all Evils, all 
Cursings and all Miseries. You will at once think that Pandora had 

* Hesiod, o/. emptied her d Vial on it Men will be Wolves to Men, 28 Ware-wolves 

• OrSf," 1 ^/. l and Hobgoblins, as were "Lycaon, f Bellerophon, g Nebuchadonosor ; 
'Hom.//. vL Brigands, Assassins, Poisoners, Evil-doers, Evil-thinkers and Evil-wishers, 

TdSicI iv. 33. bearing Hatred ; with their Hand against every Man, like unto h Ishmael, 
- vii£ A^k ' Metabus, or * Timon of Athens, who for that Cause was surnamed The 
^Lucian,riiwM. Misanthrope. So much is this the case, that it would be an easier thing 

in Nature to keep Fish in the Air, to feed Stags at the Bottom of the 
Ocean, than to support a rascally Rabble of People that will lend 
nothing. By my Faith, I do hate them right well 

" And if, on the Pattern of this peevish and perverse World, which 
lendeth nothing, you represent to yourself the other little World, which 
is Man, you will find there a terrible Hubbub. The Head will not 
lend the Sight of his Eyes to guide the Feet and the Hands ; the Feet 
will refuse to bear up the Head ; the Hands will cease to work for it 
The Heart will complain of its continual Motion for the Pulse in the 
Limbs, and will not lend his Assistance any more ; the Lungs will not 
lend their Bellows ; the Liver will not send Blood for its Maintenance ; 
\ the Bladder will not be a Debtor to the Kidneys ; the Urine will be 
\ quite stopped. The Brain, considering this unnatural Course, will fall 
I into a raving Dotage, and will give no Feeling to the Nerves, nor Move- 
ment to the Muscles. 

"Altogether in this disorganised World, owing nothing, lending 
nothing, borrowing nothing, you will see a Conspiracy more pernicious 
k cf. iv. £ 7| n.c than Aesop imagined in his k Apologue. Such a World will undoubtedly 
shakesp. Cor^i. perish, and not only perish, but perish right soon, were it even Aescula- 
pius himself. The Body will immediately rot, and the Soul, full of 
Indignation, will take its Flight to all the Devils, 29 after my Money. 

_ w . ,,. M "Lupus est homo homini, non 

» Mactes ct nova febnum , „ * . , ' 

Terns incubuit cohors. homo - Plaut A ** m "• 4, 9° (495)- 

Hor. Od. i. 3, 30. a Vltaque cum gemitufugittW^»o/a sob umbras. 

Vtrg. Aen. xii. 95s. 


Continuation of the Discourse of Panurge in Praise • 

of Lenders and Debtors 

" On the other hand, represent to yourself another World in which every 
one lends, every one owes, all are Debtors, all are Lenders. 

" How great will be the Harmony among the regular Movements of 
the Heavens ! Methinks I hear it as well as ever Plato l did. What 
Sympathy among the Elements ! How will Nature delight in her Works 
and her Productions ! Ceres laden with Corn, Bacchus with Wine, 
Flora with Flowers, Pomona with Fruits, and Juno in her clear Air, 
serene, health-giving, pleasant 

"I lose myself in this Contemplation. Among Men there will 
be Peace, Love, Affection, Fidelity, Repose, Banquets, Feastings, Joy, 
Gladness, Gold, Silver, Small money, Chains, Rings, Merchandise, 
which will pass freely from hand to hand. 

" No Lawsuit, no War, no Strife ; none there will be a Usurer, none 
will be a Skin-flint, none a Pinch-penny, none a Churl 

" 'Faith, will it not be the Age of Gold, the Reign of Saturn, the true 
Idea of the Olympic Regions, wherein all other Virtues ceasing, Charity 
alone reigns, governs, dominates, triumphs ? All will be good, all will 
fair, all will be just. 

1 Plato (v. 1 8) never pretends that the The only notice in Plato that can be con- 

'music of the spheres 'can be heard. He strued into a statement about audible 

adopts the theory to some extent from the music of the spheres is in Rep. x. p. 617, 

Pythagoreans. Aristotle gives the Pytha- where he speaks of a siren standing upon 

gorean explanation (de Caelo, ii. 9, 29c*), each of the circles of the planetary system 

that the noise caused by the movements uttering one note in one tone ; and from 

of the heavenly bodies is so prodigious all the eight notes there results a single 

and continuous that, being accustomed to harmony. There is a slight notice of the 

it from our birth, we do not notice it. Pythagorean system in Plin. ii 22, 1 20. 
VOL. I 2D 





" O happy World ! O most happy People in that World ! Yea, three 
and four times blessed ! I verily think I am there ! 

"I swear to you by the good Forsooth, 2 that if this World, this 
blessed World, which thus lends to every one and refuses nothing, had 
a Pope abounding with Cardinals and in association with his sacred 
College, in a few Years you would see there the Saints thicker on the 
Ground, more wonder-working, with more Services, more Vows, more 
Staff-bearers, more Wax-candles than are all those in the nine Bishoprics 
in Brittany, excepting only St Ives. 8 

" I pray you consider how the noble Patelin, wishing to deify and 
by divine Panegyrics to raise even to the third Heaven the Father of 
William Jousseaulme, 4 said nothing more than : 

And he did lend 
His Wares to those who borrow would.* 

" O the fine Saying ! 

" Now on this Pattern imagine to be formed our Microcosm, id est 

little World, that is Man, in all his Limbs, lending, borrowing, owing, 

that is, in their natural State ; for Nature has created Man for nothing 

— but to lend and borrow. The Harmony of the Heavens is not greater 

than will be that of his goodly Ordering. 

" The Intention of the Founder of this Microcosm is that therein be 
entertained the Soul (which he has lodged there as a Guest) and Life. 5 
Life consisteth in Blood; Blood is the Seat of the Soul; wherefore 
there is one only Task set before this Microcosm, that is, to forge Blood 

" At this Forge are employed all the Members, each in its proper 
Office ; and their Hierarchy 6 is such that incessantly one borrows from 
another, one lends to the other, one is the other's Debtor. The Stuff 
and Matter convenient to be transmuted into Blood is given by Nature, 
viz. Bread and Wine. In these two are comprised all kinds of Ali- 
ments, and hence it is called Companage 1 in Langue Goth. 8 

1 Fr. Vray bis, as Rabelais has used 
Vray hot in the preceding chapter. 

8 St. Ives. The Bretons were distin- 
guished for their piety in venerating num- 
bers of minor saints, but St. Ives was in par- 
ticular esteem with them. He was a native 
of Treguier in Basse- Bretagne (Duchat). 

4 Jousseaulme was the name of the 
draper whom Patelin cheated in the farce. 

6 The idea of this anatomical passage 
seems to be suggested by a very similar 

passage in Cic de Nat. Dear. ii. 54-5, 
§§ * 33- J 38> as well as by Rabelais' own 
great medical knowledge. 

6 Hierarchy, properly an order of 
divinely appointed beings; here a well- 
ordered constitution. 

7 Companage still signifies in Provencal 
everything that is*eaten with bread ; from 
cum pane, whence our "company/* 

8 Langue Goth. So Rabelais writes 
for Langue d'Oc. 

chap, iv PANTAGRUEL 403 

" To procure these, prepare them, cook them, the Hands work ; the 
Feet walk and bear about the whole of this Machine, the Eyes guide all ; 
the Appetite in the Orifice of the Stomach, by means of a little sourish 
black Humour, which is transmitted to it from the Milt, gives Warning to 
shut in the Food. The Tongue makes Essay of it ; the Teeth chew it ; 
the Stomach receives it, digests and chylifies it The Meseraic, Veins suck 
out of it what is good and suitable, leaving behind the Excrements (which 
by an expulsive Faculty are voided through special Conduits), and then 
carry it to the Liver, which once more transmutes it and turns it into Blood. 

"What Joy think you then is found among those Officers, when they 
have beheld this Stream of Gold, which is their sole Restorative ? Not 
greater is the Joy of the Alchymists, when after long Toil, great Care 
and Expense, they see the Metals transmuted in their Furnaces. 

" Then each Member prepares itself and strives anew to purify and 
refine this Treasure. The Kidneys, through the emulgent Veins, draw 
from it the Aquosity, which you call Urine, and pass it downward 
through the Ureters; there it finds a fitting Receptacle, that is the 
Bladder, which in due time voids it 

" The Spleen draweth from it the terrestrial Part and the Lees, which 
you call Melancholy ; 

" The Bottle of the Gall draws from it the superfluous Choler ; 

"Then it is transported to be better refined into another Workshop, 
that is the Heart, which by its diastolic and systolic 9 Movements 
subtilises and heats it, so that it is perfected in the right Ventricle, and 
by the Veins sent forth to all the Members ; 

" Each Member draws it to itself, and from it takes Sustenance in its 
own fashion, Feet, Hands, Eyes, nay all of them ; so then those become 
Debtors who before were Lenders. 

" By the left Ventricle it is so subtilised that it is called spiritual, 10 
and through the Arteries it is sent to all the Members to warm and 
ventilate the other Blood in the Veins ; 

"The Lungs never cease with their Lappets and Bellows to cool and 
refresh it ; and, in return for this Good, the Heart imparts to them its 
choicest Blood through the arterial Vein. 11 

" At last it is so refined within the rete mirabile^ that afterwards are 

9 diastolic and systolic, i.e. expansive labyrinthine system of innumerable arter- 
and contractive. ies, veins, and glands, situated in the brain 

* spiritual is arterial blood, iii. 31 P on *• mucous &* igF-** J** 

andiv. 30. taria) on each side of the clinoidal 

. apophyses. In this are retained the 

t.e. the aorta. viia/ spirits during thdr efctaatfcn j^o 

u rete mirabiU (iii. 31 P, iv. 30) is a animal spirits (Amb. Pari, iii 9). 



composed of it the Animal Spirits, by means of which we have Imagi- 
nation, Discourse, Judgment, Resolution, Deliberation, Ratiocination, 

" By the Powers ! I drown, I am lost, I am beside myself, when I 
consider the profound Depths of this World, thus lending, thus owing. 
Believe me, it is a Divine thing to lend ; to owe is an heroic Virtue. 

" Yet this is not alL This World lending, owing, borrowing, is so 
good that when this Alimentation is finished, it at once thinks to lend 
to those who are not yet born, and by that Loan to perpetuate itself, 
if it can, and multiply in Images like itself, that is Children. 

" To this end each Member doth cut off and pare a Portion of the 
most precious of its Nourishment ; and despatch it downwards where 
Nature hath prepared Vessels and Receptacles suitable, through which 
descending to the Genitories in long Circuits and Windings, it receives 
competent Form, and finds fitting Places, both in Man and Woman, to 
preserve and perpetuate the Human Race. All this is done by Loans 
and Debts from one to the other; whence it is called the Debt of 

. "Pains and Penalties are denounced by Nature to the Refuser, 
grievous Vexation to his limbs and Madness in his Senses; to the 
Lender is assured Reward, Pleasure, Solace and Delight" 


How Pantagruel detesteth the Debtors and Borrowers 

" I understand," answered Pantagruel, " and you seem to me to be 
good at Commonplaces and well affected to your Cause. But should 
you preach and advocate it from now till Whitsuntide, in the end you 
will be astonished to find how you have persuaded me not a Jot, and how 
by all your fine Talk you will never make me get into Debt ' Owe no 
man anything/ saith the holy a Apostle, 'but to love one another.' » Rom. ziu. & 

" You serve me here with fine Descriptions and Figures, which please 
me very well. But I tell you that if you will represent to yourself a 
shameless Swaggerer and an importunate Borrower, coming fresh into a 
Town already advertised of his Manners, you will find that at his 
Entry the Citizens will be more in Alarm and Trepidation than if the 
Plague should come in, apparelled in such Guise as the b Tyanian »Phiiottr. vu. 
Philosopher found it in Ephesus; and I am of Opinion that the p. 68. ' "' 
c Persians were not in Error, when they looked upon Lying as the *v\nt.dtxnt«nd. 
second Vice, Owing being the first. For Debts and Lies are commonly (899 *\ 5 

bound up together. 

" Nevertheless, I do not wish to infer that one must never incur Debt 
or never lend. No man is so rich that sometimes he may not owe ; no 
man is so poor that sometimes one may not borrow of him. 

" The Occasion will be such as d Plato states it in his Laws, when he d Lege, vni 

844 B^JPlutarch, 

ordains that no one permit his Neighbours to draw Water from his Well, <u viumd. a** 

a/itn. c. z (827 d)l 

unless they have first in their own proper Grounds, after digging and 
delving, found that kind of Earth which is called ceramite, that is Potter's 
Earth, and there have found no Spring or Flow of Waters ; for. this 
Earth, by reason of its Substance, which is fat, strong, firm and close, 
retains its Moisture and does not easily allow Escape or Evaporation. 

"Wherefore it is a great Disgrace at all Times and in all Places to 
borrow from every one rather than to work and win. Then only, in 


my Judgment, should one lend, when a person after working has not 
been able to make Gain of his Labour, or when he has suddenly fallen 
into unexpected Loss of his Goods. 

"However, let us leave this Subject, and hereafter do not have 
Recourse to Creditors ; from your past Debts I clear you." 
• iy. ProL Anc. e " The least I should do and the most I can," said Panurge, " in this 
Matter will be to thank you ; and if the Thanks should be measured by 
the Affection of the Benefactors, it will be to thank you infinitely, 
sempiternally ; for the Love, which of your Goodness you bear unto me, 
is beyond all Price and Value ; l it transcends all Weight, all Number, 
all Measure; it is infinite, sempiternal But, measuring it by the 
Standard of the Benefits and the Content of the Receivers of them, my 
Thanks will come off but poorly ; you have done me exceeding many 
Favours, and far beyond what belongs to me ; more than my Services 
have been towards you, more than my Deserts required — I must 
needs confess it — but in this Particular in no way so much as you 

" It is not there that the Shoe pinches, it is not there that I fret and 
itch ; but hereafter, being out of Debt, what Countenance shall I keep ? 
Believe me, I shall have but an ill Grace for the first few Months, seeing 
that I have not been brought up or accustomed to it. I am mightily 
afraid of it 

"Moreover, for the Future, not a f— t will be discharged in all 

Salmigondinais which will not be directed to my Nose. All the f — rs 

f— g in the world say always, " That for your Free-men." My Life will 

soon close, I foresee it. I recommend to you the making of my 

*Pog?- Facet. Epitaph, and I shall die quite overwhelmed with f— ts. f 

No. o8. 

" If some day as a Restorative to such good Women as are in 
grievous Pain of Wind-colic, the ordinary Medicaments are not 
found effectual by the Physicians, the Mummy s of my wretched and 
bef— ted Body will serve to them for a present Remedy. Let them 
take the smallest Dose you can mention, and they will be relieved more 
than they imagine. 

"It is for this Cause I would willingly beseech you to leave me 
some hundred or so of Debts ; just as King Louis the Eleventh when 

1 Fr. kors U den <T estimation = Lat. T. Browne's Hydriotaphia, c 5: "The 
extra eakulos aestimationis, extra aleam Aegyptian Mummies which Cambyses or 
Judicii, iii. 39. time hath spared avarice now consumeth. 

Mummy is become merchandise, Mizraim 

9 Mummy. This was used in Rabe- cures wounds, and Pharaoh is sold for 
lais' time as a medicament. Cf. Sir balsams." 

chap, v PANTAGRUEL 407 

exempting from Lawsuits Miles dllliers, 8 Bishop of Chartres, was 
earnestly besought by him to leave him some few to keep his Hand 
in. I had rather give them all my Income from Periwinkles, and May- 
bugs to boot, abating nothing however from my Capital" 

" Let us leave this Subject," said Pantagruel ; " I have already said it 
to you once." 

* This story of Miles d'llliers is told in at Paris 1493, during one of his numerous 
Des Periers' 34th Novel. The bishop died lawsuits. 


Why newly married Men were exempted from going to the Wan 

" But," asked Panurge, " in what Law was it constituted and established 
that those who should plant a new Vineyard, those who should build 
a new House, and the Newly-married Men should be exempted from 
serving in War for the first Year ? " 
• Doul zx. 5-7. " In the Law of * Moses," answered PantagrueL 

"And why," asked Panurge, "the Newly-married? As to the 
Planters of Vineyards I am too old to trouble myself about them ; I 
acquiesce in the Care for the Vine-dressers; and those grand new 
Builders up of dead Stones are not written in my Book of Life ; I build 
up none but living Stones, that is, Men." 

"According to my Judgment," answered Pantagruel, "it was in 
order that for the first Year they should enjoy their Love at Pleasure, 
have Leisure for the Production of Lineage and make Provision of Heirs to 
succeed them ; so that, in any case, if in the Second Year they were slain 
in War, their Name and Armorials would continue with their Children; 
also that their Wives might be surely known to be either barren or fruitful 
— for the Trial of one Year seemed to them sufficient, seeing the Maturity 
of Age at which they used then to marry — in order, after the Decease of 
their first Husbands, to bestow them more suitably in a second Marriage ; 
the fruitful ones being married to Men who should wish to multiply in 
Family, the barren ones to those who were not desirous of Issue, and 
who would take them for their Virtues, Learning and gracious Bearing, 
solely for domestic Comfort and Keeping-up of their Household." 

"The Preachers of Varennes," 1 said Panurge, "protest against 
second Marriages as foolish and dishonourable." 

1 Preachers of Varenms. This allusion one of them near PanUl which is men- 
is not known. There were two places of tioned below. Varennes is spoken of 
the name of Varennes not far from Chinon, L 47 and iii. 27. 

chap, vi PANTAGRUEL 409 

"The Plague of a mighty quartan Ague 3 take those Preachers," 
said PantagrueL 

" Yea, but," said Panurge, " the like Mischief must befall also b Friar b Poggn Facet 
Tuck, who to a full Auditory preaching a Sermon at PariUe* inveighing 
against second Marriage, did make Oath and give himself to the swiftest 
Devil in Hell, if he would not rather deflower a hundred Virgins than 
mumble over a single Widow. 

" I find your Reason good and well founded. But what would you 
say if this Exemption were allowed them for no other Reason than that 
during the whole Course of the said first Year they had so bobbed their 
Loves, then newly possessed — as in Equity and Duty bound — and so 
drained their spermatic Vessels, that they were thereby become quite 
unstrung, unmanned, enervated and drooping, so that when the Day of 
Battle arrived, they would sooner take to diving, like c Ducks, among e ct u 49, n. a. 
the Baggage, than be found among the Combatants and valiant 
Champions in the Place where Enyo 8 stirs the Press, and Blows pass 
current ; under the Standard of Mars they would never strike a Blow 
that told, for their best Blows would have been already dealt within the 
Curtains of Venus his Sweetheart ? 

"That this is the Case, we still see at the present time, among other 
Remains and Monuments of Antiquity, that in all good Houses after a 
certain Number of Days, it is customary to send these Newly-married 
Men to see their Uncle, in order to absent them from their Wives, and 
during this Time to take rest and victual themselves anew, so as to fight 
again better on their Return ; and that, though often enough they have 
neither Uncle nor Aunt ; in the like manner King Petault, after the day 
of Cornabons, did not cashier us, properly speaking, I mean me and 
Courcaillet, 4 but sent us to recruit to our Houses ; he is still looking 
for his. 

" My Grandfather's Godmother used to say to me when I was a Boy 

Tis true — Paternoster and Prayer 
Are for those who Divinity lack ; 
One Fife on his way to the Fair 
Is better than two coming back. 

"That which prompteth me to this Opinion is that the Vine-planters 

9 leurs fortes fieores quartaines / A of ISrvrfXcor , the Greek god of war, as 

form of imprecation common in Rabelais opposed to "Aprji, the Trojan god. The 

and writers of that time. meaning of the word is the Springer-on. 

* Enyo. The goddess of war who 
delights in bloodshed and the destruction 4 The allusion to King Petault, Cor- 

of towns (77. ▼. 333). A shortened form nabons and Courcaillet is still unexplained. 


did seldom eat Grapes or drink Wine derived from their Labour during 
the first Year, and House-builders for the first Year did not inhabit 
their newly-built Houses, for fear of being suffocated for Lack of 
Respiration; as Galen hath learnedly remarked lib. it. de diffiadtate 

" I have not asked this Question without Cause well caused, or with- 
out Reason resonant, so please you, Sir." 

Deut zv. 16,1x7. 


How Panurge had the Flea in his Ear and desisted from 

wearing his magnificent Cod-piece 

The next Day Panurge caused his right Ear to be pierced in the a Jewish ^Exod. xxL 5,6 ; 
Fashion and attached thereto a little gold Ring with inlaid Work, in 
the Bezel of which was set a Flea ; l and the Flea was black, so that you 
may have no Doubt on any point — 'tis a rare thing to be well informed 
in all Cases. The Cost of this when brought in to his Exchequer, 
amounted quarterly to only little more than the Marriage of an Hyr- 
canian Tigress; 2 even as you might say, 600,000 Maravedis. 8 At this 
excessive Expenditure he fretted, now that he was out of Debt ; and 
afterwards he fed her, after the manner of Tyrants and Lawyers, with 
the Sweat and Blood of his Subjects. 

He then took four Ells of russet Cloth, and therein apparelled himself 
with a long Robe of a single Seam, left off wearing his Breeches and 
fastened a Pair of Spectacles on his Cap. 

In this Garb he presented himself before Pantagruel, who looked 
upon the Disguise as strange, especially as he no more saw his fine and 
magnificent Cod-piece, on which he used to rely as his Sheet-anchor, 
and to consider it as his last Refuge against all the Shipwrecks of 

The good Pantagruel, not understanding this Mystery, questioned 
him, asking what was the Meaning of this new-fangled Travesty. 

Panurge answered : " I have the Flea in my Ear ; I have a mind to 

1 De rien ne me doy soussier f Hyrcanian Tigress. Most probably 

Car pas n'ay £*/««* mfavvftr. an allusion to the tigers in Francis I.'s 

Charles d'Orleans, Chanson i. menagerie. 

* Jlfaravedi, a very small Spanish coin 
The phrase also occurs in Cretin, p. 79- of about the value of a French denier. 


"May good Fortune attend you," said Pantagruel, "you have 
delighted me with the News. Verily, I would not swear to its Truth 
with a hot Iron in my Hand 4 But it is not the Fashion of Lovers 
thus to wear dangling Vestments, and so to let their Shirt hang over 
their Knees without Breeches; and a long Robe of brown Serge, 
which is of a Colour unusual with Persons of Honour and Quality in 
their talarian 6 Robes. 

" If certain Persons of particular Heresies and Sects 6 have formerly 
so accoutred themselves, although many have imputed such Dress to 
Quackery, Imposture and Affectation of Superiority over the rude 
Vulgar, I will not nevertheless blame them and pass a sinister Judg 
ment on them in that Matter. 

" Every one is full of his own Ideas, especially in Matters that are 
foreign, external and indifferent, which in themselves are neither good 
nor bad, because they do not proceed from our Hearts and Thoughts, 
which is the Forge wherejl is wrought all Good and all Evil ; good, if 
the Affection be good ancrordered by the pure and clean Spirit ; evil, 
if, astray from Equity, the Affection is depraved by the Evil Spirit 

"Only I mislike the Novelty of the Dress and the Contempt of 
common Custom." 

"The Colour," answered Panurge, "is aspre aux pots % apropos; 7 it 
is my Office Colour; 8 I wish henceforth to keep Office and to look 
close into my Affairs. Since I am once out of Debt, you never saw 
a man more disagreeable than I shall be, unless God help me. 

" See here be my Spectacles ; to look on me from a Distance you 
would say with reason that it is Friar John Burgess. 9 I thoroughly 
believe that in the coming Year I shall preach the Crusade again ; God 
keep my Pilgrims 10 from Harm. 

4 Alluding to the ancient practice of 7 This execrable pun is taken from 
holding red-hot iron in one's hand in Guillaume Cretin (p. 218, ed. 1723) : 
testimony of the truth of a statement A Par ces vim verds A tropes a crop os 

good instance of it, possibly one that Des corps humains roez mmtt en vers, 

Rabelais had in view, is in Soph. Ant. Dontunquidam«^««>**apropoz 

264: A fort bWses tours ^rwrr par vers. 

HfA4> )' Irvp* mm /Aft?** tup* xw«' 8 There is an untranslatable pun be- 

nm) wb hirrut, mm fat* ifmvprf* tween bureau, a rough brown serge, and 

t» iiAtn lpm*m % «.t.a. bureau, an office. 

5 talarian, reaching to the ankles (tali). 9 Jean Bourgeois, a zealous Franciscan 
A word borrowed from the Latin. of the reigns of Louis XI. and Charles 

AurarepUtvibrataciHstaUriaplaniu VIIL He died in I 4 94, and from always 

of Atalanta. Ov. Met. x. 591. wearing spectacles was known as the cor- 

delier aux lunettes. Infra, iv. 8. 

6 The Calvinists seem to be alluded to 10 Fr. Pelotens,fox Pelerins. Johanneau 
here. explains : "Deus servet testiculos." 




"Do you see this brown Cloth? Believe me that in it consists 
some occult Property known to very few people. I never put it 
on till this Morning, but even now I am mad, I am itching, I 
am in a stew to get married, and to employ myself on Husbandry 
like a very brown Devil with my Wife, without fear of Cudgel-blows. 

what a thrifty Housekeeper I shall be! After my Death they 
will have me burnt on an honourable Funeral-pile, in order to 
have my Ashes, in memory of a model and perfect Housekeeper. 
Copsbody, on this Office of mine, my Treasurer had better not 
play at lengthening of the esses; 11 Fisticuffs would soon fly in his 

" Look upon me both before and behind ; the Dress is cut in the 
form of a Toga, the ancient Dress of the Romans in the time of Peace. 

1 took the Shape of it from the Column of Trajan at Rome, and also 
from the triumphal Arch of Septimius Severus. 12 I am weary of War, 
weary of Military-cloaks and Buff-jerkins ; my Shoulders are quite worn 
out with the carrying of Harness ; 18 let Arms cease and Togas reign ; 14 
at least for this ensuing Year, if I am married, as you said to me yester- 
day, citing the Mosaic Law. 

" As regards the Breeches, my Great-aunt Laurence 15 told me long 
ago that they were made for the Cod-piece. I believe it, just as by a like 
Inference, the good Fellow 10 Galen says lib. ix. De usu partium, that the 
Head is made for the Eyes ; for Nature could have put our Heads on 
our Knees or on our Elbows ; but ordaining the Eyes to discover things 
from afar, she fixed them in the Head, in the highest Part of the Body, 
as it were on a Pole ; in the same way as we see Lighthouses and high 
Towers erected at the Mouth of Harbours at Sea, that the Lantern may 
be seen afar off. 

" And because I would gladly for some Space of Time, a Year at the 
least, have a Respite from the Profession of Arms, that is to say, I 

u lengthening the esses. Fr. allonger 
Us ss. The meaning is to falsify the 
accounts, probably by patting ff (francs) 
for ss (sous). 

M Rabelais had visited Rome and pub- 
lished the work of Marliani, Topographia 
Antique* Romtu % Lyons, 1534. 

U Sit modus lasso maris et rianun 

Hot. Carwu u. 6, 7. 

u " Cedant anna togae concedat laurea 

laudi " was a line of Cicero's which afforded 
amusement to his contemporaries. 

10 Or, Sire, la bonne Laurence 
Votre belle Ante mourut-ellef 

v Patelin, line sea 

™ gentU falot (gtmd falot occurs simi- 
larly Hi. 47) means good companion, and 
also refers tofaUt, a lantern set on a pole 
in form of a lighthouse. Galen may be 
regarded as one of the lighthouses of 


would marry, I no longer wear a Cod-piece, and consequently Breeches ; 
for the Cod-piece is the first Piece of Harness for arming a Warrior, 
bCf.iLProLn.9. and I maintain it even to the Fire ( b exclusively, understand me) that 
the Turks are not properly armed, seeing that to wear Cod-pieces is 
a thing forbidden in their Laws." 




How the Cod-piece is the first Piece of Armour among Warriors 


Will you," said Pantagruel, " maintain that the Cod-piece is the first 
Piece of military Harness? It is a Doctrine very paradoxical and 
strange, for we always say that it is with the Spurs \ that a man's Arming 

"I do maintain it," answered Panurge, "and not wrongfully do I 
maintain it 

"See how Nature, 2 wishing the Plants, Trees, Shrubs, Herbs, and 
Zoophytes, once created by her, to be perpetuated and last for all 
Succession of Time, without the Species dying down, although the In- 
dividuals may perish, curiously armed their Germs and Seeds, in which 
consists the said Perpetuity, and has fenced and covered them by an 
admirable Industry, with Husks, Sheaths, Shells, Stones, Calyces, Cods, 
Ears, Down, Bark and prickly Hulls, which are to them as fine and 
strong natural Cod-pieces. 

" This is clearly exemplified in Peas, Beans, Fasels, Walnuts, Peaches, 
Cotton, Colocynth, Corn, Poppies, Lemons, Chestnuts, and generally 
all Plants, in which we see manifestly the Germ and Seed is more 
covered, fenced, and armed than any other Part of them. 

" Nature did not thus provide for the Perpetuity of the Human Race, 
but created Man naked, tender, fragile, without Arms offensive or 
defensive, in a state of Innocence and first Age of Gold, as an Animal, 
not as la Plant ; as an Animal, I say, born for Peace, not for War; as 
an Animal born for a wonderful Enjoyment of all vegetable Fruits and 
Plants ; as an Animal born for a pacific Sway over all Beasts. 

1 the Spurs, In an old military treatise be unable to put them on when encum- 

quoted by Duchat it is asserted that the bered with his helmet and cuirass, 
spurs formed part of the greaves or iron 9 Nature, etc. All this is from the 

leg-pieces, and that consequently they had Prologue of the seventh Book of Pliny's 

to be put on first, otherwise a man would Natural History. 


" But when Wickedness began to multiply among Men, as the Age of 
Iron and the Reign of Jupiter succeeded, 8 the Earth began to produce 
Nettles, Thistles, Thorns and other such Kinds of Rebellion against Man 
among the Vegetables. On the other Side, nearly all the Animals by a 
Disposition of Fate emancipated themselves from him and tacitly con- 
spired together to serve him no longer, no longer to obey him, as far as 
they could resist him, but to harm him as much as their Faculties and 
Power allowed. 

" So then Man, desiring to maintain his former Enjoyment and to keep 
up his former Dominion, and moreover being unable conveniently to do 
without the Service of several Animals, was obliged of necessity to arm 
himself afresh." 

"By the holy Goose of Guenet," 4 cried out Pantagruel, "since the 
» a. 13. last * Rains thou hast become a mighty Lifrelofre, I mean to say, 

" Consider," continued Panurge, " how Nature prompted him to arm 
himself, and what Part of his Body he first began to arm; by the 
Powers, it was the Cod : 

And the sturdy Don Priapus, 

When that was done, did no more pray to us. 6 

bGen.iii. 7. "Thus is it testified for us by b Moses, the Hebrew Captain and 
Philosopher, affirming that Man armed himself with a brave and gallant 
Cod-piece, made by mighty fine Invention of Leaves of the Fig-tree, 
which are ingenious and in every way convenient in point of Hardness, 
Incisure, Curliness, Smoothness, Size, Colour, Smell, Powers and 
Faculty to cover and arm Cods. 

e ii. 1. " Except for me the horrific ones of c Lorraine, which with loosened 

Reins descend to the Bottom of the Breeches, eschew the Habitation of 
high Cod-pieces, and are out of all Order ; witness Viardifere, the noble 
Valentine, 6 whom one May-day. in order to be more captivating, I dis 
covered at Nancy brushing his spreaa out on a Table like a Spanish Cloak. 

* "RedeuntSaturniaregna," says Virgil belly, took out the eye, and put it back 

(Ec. iv. 6), prophesying the millennium, in its place. It then continues: "Ales 

This paragraph seems a jumble of the nullam inde sustulit injuriam ; illaesus, 

third chapter of Genesis and Ovid's Mcta- quasi a nuUo contactus, exultans, superbe 

morphosts, Bk. i. gradiendo, extento collo decantans, adibat 

4 St, Guenet was one of the many minor socios aves " (M. ) 
saints of Brittany (cf. iii. 4, n. 3), always * A rhyme, probably of Guillaume 

represented with a goose. The legend on Cretin, alluded to v. 4a 
the subject is most entertaining. A wild 6 Valentine. No doubt in the sense, so 

goose had pecked out the eye of the common in England, indicated in the 

saint's sister and swallowed it, whereupon rhyme in Hamlet, "to be your Valentine," 

the saint seized the creature, cut open its and alluded to often in Pepys's diary. 

chap, viii PANTAGRUEL 417 

"Wherefore, henceforth there will be no Need for one who will not 

speak improperly, to say, when sending out our Dunghill-bumpkins 7 to 

the Wars: 

Save, Tevot, 8 save thy Pot of Wine, 

that is to say, the Brain-pan ; one should say : 

Guard, Tevot, guard the Pot of Milk, 

that is the Cods, in the Name of all the Devils of Hell. 

" When the Head is broken, only the one Individual perisheth, but, 
the Cods once destroyed, the whole Human Race would perish. 

"It was this Motive that induced the gallant Galen, lib, u JDe 
spermate, to conclude bravely that it would be better, that is to say 
less hurtful, to have no Heart than to have no Genitories ; for in them 
consists, as in a sacred Repository, the Germ that preserveth the whole 
Offspring of Mankind, and I would take less than a hundred Francs to 
believe, that these are the very Stones by means of which Deucalion 
and Pyrrha restored the human Race, which was destroyed by the 
Deluge described by the Poets. 9 

"It was this that stirred the valiant Justinian, lib. rv. JDe cagotis 
tollcndis™ to place the Summum Bonum in braguibus tt braguetis. 

" For this and other Reasons, when the Lord of Merville n was one 
day trying on a new Suit of Armour, to follow his King to the Wars (for 
he found himself unable comfortably to wear his own old half-rusty 
one, because for some years the Skin of his Stomach was a great way 
removed from his Kidneys), his Wife in a contemplative Mood con- 
sidered that he shewed but little Care for the common Packet and Staff 
of their Marriage, seeing that he only armed them with Links of Mail ; 
and she advised him to fence them right well and gabionate them with 
a big tilting Helmet, which was lying idle in her Closet. 

7 Franc-taulpinS) a name given to an by Juvenal's si quando poitica surgit j 
irregular militia formed by Charles VII. , tempestas (xii. 23). For such storms c£ 
notorious for their cowardice (i. 35, ii 7). Horn. Od. v. ix. xi.; Virg. Aen. L; Ov. 

8 Tcvot is an abbreviation for Estephe Met. xi. 478-565. For Deucalion and 
(Stephen). Testa (ttte) is the Latin for a Pyrrha c£ Ov. M. i. 348 sqq. 
wine-pot and a head. For these poltroons, 10 De cog, toll. A book mentioned in 
it was unnecessary to tell them to save Rabelais' fanciful library of St Victor 
their head, ue. their " bacon " ; instead of (ii. 7, n. 67). 

that, they were told to save their wine- u The Lord of Merville may or may 
pot Cotgrave explains cruon and crujon not have been an historical personage. 
as * brain-pan.' Duchat makes it = Unless it could be said for certain that a 
cruche, 'a pitcher.' In any case it comes definite person was intended, mere con- 
to the same thing. jecture is of little use. No doubt Rabelais 
. 9 Deluge poitique 9 suggested probably had some ' tun of a man ' in view. 
VOL. I 2 S 

4 i 8 THE WORKS OF RABELAIS book hi 

" Of this Lady were written the following Verses in the third Book 
of ' Young Ladies' Fancies ' : 12 

She saw her Lord, in complete Armour dight, 

Save of his Cod-piece, going to the Wars, 

And cried : " My Darling, lest you should gain Scars, 
Arm that, I pray, which is my chief Delight" 
What ! should such Counsel ever be reproved ? 

Why, I say no ; for 'twas her greatest Fear 
To lose the precious Morsel that she loved, 

For that she saw 'twas lively living Gear. 

" Leave off then, Sir, being astonished at this new Accoutrement of 

M Fr. Chiabrena des Pucelks. This is one of the volumes in the library of St 
Victor (ii 7). 


How Panurge asketh Counsel of Pantagruel to know whetlter 

he ought to marry 

To this Pantagruel replying nothing, Panurge continued and said with 
a profound Sigh : 

" Sire, you have heard my Intention, which is to marry me, if by ill 
Chance all the Holes should not be stopped, closed and chained I 
beseech you by the Love you have so long borne me, tell me your 
Advice therein." 

Pantagruel answered : " Since you have once for all cast the Dice 2 

1 This famous chapter, on which are 
made to hinge all the remaining chapters 
of this and the fourth and fifth Books, 
turns on the old and insoluble question 
as to whether a man should or should not 
marry. M. Rathery in his biographical 
notice would make the source of the 
chapter to be the dispute on the subject 
between Aymery Bouchard and Tiraqueau, 
two famous legists, in which Rabelais and 
his friend Pierre Amy were arbitrators. I 
cannot help thinking that the inspiration 
for Rabelais dates farther back, namely, to 
the line in Aristophanes (Lysistr. 1039) : 

carried on still farther in a dilemma of 
Bias, one of the seven wise men, quoted 
and discussed by Aulus Gellius (v. 11) : 
ffroi koXV A£ets ff akrxpd*' iced el Kakfy, 
t£eis KOtrfp, el ft abrxpdr, 4f£«s Tourfr' 
itcdrepor & ah \rprr4w 06 yafitfr4w Apa. 
The oldest fragment of Greek Comedy 
preserved runs thus : 

iuuuirt Ac». Iturapim Juyu rmh 
um *<A/mv MiyMftfit T>««a/#«i«' 

•ii* Urn tUCt tiuiuv t»tu munv. 
MM4 ymp rl ynftm mm) ii /«fc yqiuu 

A fragment of a speech by Q. Caecilius 
Metellus (140 B.C.) has been preserved: 
"Si sine uxore possemus, Quirites, esse, 
omnes ea molestia careremus : sedquoniam 
ita natura tradidit ut nee cum illis satis 
commode, nee sine illis ullo modo vivi 
possit, saluti perpetuae potius quam brevi 
voluptati consulendum." 

The form of the dialogue seems cer- 
tainly to have been derived from a sermon . 
of the preacher Jean Raulin, a doctor of 
Paris and monk of Cluni (sermon ill. de 
viduitate). A widow consults the cure* 
and the church-bells as to whether she 
should marry her man-servant 

* Referring probably to Caesar's re- 
mark on the bank of the Rubicon, /acta 
alea est, as well as to Panurge 's inveterate 
love of gambling. 


and have thus decreed and taken firm Determination thereon, further 
Talk is not needed ; it only remains to put your Determination into 

" Nay, but," said Panurge, " I would not execute it without your 
Counsel and good Advice." 

" I am of that Advice," answered Pantagruel, " and do counsel you 

" But," said Panurge, " if you knew that it was better for me to 
remain such as I am, without undertaking a novel Adventure, I would 
prefer not to marry." 

" Not marry then," answered Pantagruel. 

" Nay, but," said Panurge, " would you that I should remain thus 
single all my Life without conjugal Company ? You know that it is 
written Vae soli? The single Man hath never such Comforts as one 
sees among Folk that are married." 

" Married be you then, in the Name of Heaven," answered Panta- 

" But," said Panurge, " if my Wife should make me a Cuckold, and 
you know that this is a great Vintage-year for them, it would be enough 
to make me fly off the Hinges of Endurance. Indeed I love Cuckolds 
right well, and they seem to me worthy People, and I willingly frequent 
their Company ; but for my Life, I would not be one. Tis a Point 
that at me too nearly points." 

" Points then against your marrying," answered Pantagruel, " for the 
Sentence of Seneca is true without any Exception : * That which to 
another thou shalt have done, be sure another shall do to thee.' " 4 

" Do you say that," asked Panurge, " without Exception ? " 

" Without Exception he asserts it," answered Pantagruel 

" Ho, ho," says Panurge, " by the little Devil, 5 he understands it to 
be either in this World or the Other. 

" Nay, but, since I can no more do without a Wife than a Blind 
man without a Stick (for the Tiller must needs be in use, otherwise live 
could I not), would it not be better that I should ally myself to some 
honourable and virtuous Woman, than that I should thus change about 
from day to day with continual Danger of some Blow from a Cudgel, 
or a Pox, to take the worst case ? For I never had to do with an 
honest Wife, so please the Husbands." 

3 Ecclus. iv. 10. C£ also Gen. ii. 8 : " The little Devil is used to soften the 
"Non est bonum esse hominem solum." affirmation; a very strong affirmation 

4 "Ab alio expectes alteri quod would be de par le grand DiabU. 
feceris," quoted by Seneca, Ep. 94, § 43. 

chap, ix PANTAGRUEL 421 

" Husband it then, in Heaven's Name," answered Pantagruel. 

" But," said Panurge, " if God so wished it, and it happened that I 
should marry some honest Woman and she beat me, I should be more 
patient than patient Job if I did not go stark raving mad at it ; for I 
have been told that these super-virtuous Women generally have crabbed 
Tempers ; so they have also good Vinegar in their Households. 

" I should fly out still worse, and should in such sort and so thump- 
ingly bethwack her Giblets, that is Arms, Legs, Head, Lungs, Liver and 
Spleen, and would so mangle and slash her Clothes to the Tune of 
broken Cudgels, that the great Devil of all should wait at the Gate for 
her damned Soul From this Rumpus I could well make Shift to keep 
clear this Year and not engage therein." 

" Not engage then," answered Pantagruel 

" Nay, but," said Panurge, " being in my present State, out of Debt 
and unmarried — mark what I say, out of Debt, bad Luck to it ! for were 
I over Head and Ears in Debt, my Creditors would be only too careful 
of my Paternity — but, being out of Debt and unmarried, I have no one 
who would trouble himself so much about me, or bear Love to me, such 
as they say is the Love conjugal. So if by chance I should fall ill, I 
should be looked to but scurvily. The Wise Man 6 says, Where there 
is no Woman (I understand by that Mothers of Families in lawful Wed- 
lock) the Sick man is sore bested. I have seen manifest Examples of it 
in the case of Popes, Legates, Cardinals, Bishops, Abbots, Priors, 
Priests and Monks. There indeed never shall you find me." 

" Find thee then a Wife, a' God's name," answered PantagrueL 

" But," said Panurge, " if I were ill and disabled for my matrimonial 
Duty, and my Wife, impatient at my Sickness, were to abandon her- 
self to another, and not only not help me at my Need, but also scoff at 
my Calamity, and what is worse, plunder me, as I have often seen 
happen to Men, it would be enough to put the finishing Touch to my 
Misery and make me run mad in my Doublet" 

" Double it not then by way of Marriage," answered Pantagruel. 

" Nay, but," said Panurge, " by no other Means could I have legiti- 
mate Issue of Sons or Daughters, by whom I should have hope to 
perpetuate my Name 7 and Arms, and to whom I could leave what I 

6 The Wise Man. Jesus, the son of iv. 167, and Rabelais seems to have 

Sirach, in Ecclus. xxxvi. 25 ; in the Vul- adopted the misquotation, 
gate "ubi non est mulier ingemiscit y perpetuate my Name, etc. This part 

egens " (xxxvi. 27). The Greek has is especially taken by Moliere in his imita- 

0Tcyd£et TXcunifurot. Jean Nevizan had tion of this chapter in the second scene of 

misquoted egens as aeger in Sylv. Nupt. the Mortage force*. 




had inherited and acquired — I shall make a grand Show one of these 
fine Mornings, never fear, and I shall be great in disencumbering my 
Estates 8 — with whom I could cheer up at Home when I might be hipped 
abroad, as I see is daily the Case with your beneficent and gracious 
Father and you, and as do all worthy People in the Privacy of their 
own Homes. Whereas, being out of Debt, not being married, being 

perhaps vexed and angry Instead of consoling me, my Belief is 

that you are laughing at my Misadventure." 9 

" Adventure it then, a' God's name," answered PantagrueL 10 

8 Fr. seray grand retireur de rentes. 
CI Patclin, 1. 749 : 

H6, Dieu ! quel retrayeur de rentes I 

9 With M. des Marets I adopt the 
arrangement of Morellet. Panurge gets 
voluble on his grievances, and looking up 
sees Pantagruel smiling, and suddenly 
breaks off his sentence. 

10 Regis suggests as part sources of this 
chapter — (i) Erasmus' Colloquy entitled 

Echo ; (2) Poggio's 104th story about a 
Podesta near Bologna giving judgment first 
for plaintiff, and then defendant, as each 
put his case ; (3) a story in the Capricci 
del Bottaio of Celli, which appeared in 
1546. Though, no doubt, these might 
serve as illustrations, Raulin's sermon 
seems quite sufficient inspiration for the 
chapter, especially as the incident of the 
church-bells is alluded to infra cc 27, 28. 


How Pantagruel representeth unto Panurge the Difficulty of 
giving Advice concerning Marriage ; and of the Homeric 

and Virgilian Lots 

" Your Counsel," said Panurge, " under correction, seems to me like 
the Ditty of Ricochet. It is nothing but Taunts, Scoffs [Plays upon 
Words, Repetitions] 1 and contradictory Iterations, the one Part de- 
stroying the other. I know not to which of your Answers to hold 

" But in your Propositions as well," answered Pantagruel, " there 
are so many Ifs and Buts, that I can ground nothing and determine 
nothing thereon. Are you not assured of what is your own Wish ? The 
principal Point lies there : all the Rest is fortuitous and dependent on 
the fateful Dispositions of Heaven. 

" We see a goodly Number of People so happy in this Encounter, that 
in their Marriage there seemeth to shine forth some Idea and Repre- 
sentation of the Joys of Paradise. Others in it are so unlucky, that the 
Devils who tempt the Hermits in the Deserts of Thebais and Mont- 
serrat 3 are not more miserable. It behoves you therefore to put the 
Business to a Venture with Eyes bandaged, bowing your Head, kissing 
the Earth, and recommending yourself to God for the rest, when once 
you wish to make Trial of it Other Assurance I can give you 

" Nevertheless, if you think fit, see here what you will do. Bring me 
hither the Works of Virgil, and opening them three Times, with your 

1 The older edition of 1546 (W)has in Egypt swarmed with monasteries and 

paronomasies et epanalepses which are hermitages, iii. 31, n. 15. The devils 

omitted in that of 1552 (F). are miserable from the ill success of their 

9 In early Christian times the Thebaid efforts (M.) 


Nail, we will, by the Verses of the Number agreed upon between us, 

explore the future Hap of your Marriage. 8 

" For — as by Homeric Lots men have often lit upon their Destiny : 
" Witness Socrates, who hearing in Prison the Recitation of this Line 

of Homer, said of ^chilles, Iliad ix. [363], 

ij/mri Kev TptT&rip $$lrjr cpLfiukoir Uot/Jajp, 

I shall arrive, and with no long Delay, 
In fair and fertile Phthia the third Day, 

foresaw that he should die the third Day from then, and thus assured 
b c^Jf *bi» ^eschines, 4 ** * Pkto records in the Crito, b Cicero primo de Divinatione^ 
1 a§, 1 $a. ' and c Diogenes Laertius : 

• D. Lb it. 7, 1 60. . 

« d. Cb8s.m,4o; " Witness d Opilius Macrinus, to whom, when eagerly desiring to know 
whether he should be Emperor of Rome, befell by Chance of the Lot 
this Sentence, Iliad viii. [102], 

w yipcv, 1j ftdXa &/j at Wot rtlpovai lULXfrat' 
<H) tik pirj XAirreu, xoXcirdr 54 <rt 7%»* dr&fci. 

Old man, these youthful Warriors press thee sore, 
Thy Vigour spent, oppressed by grievous Eld. 

In fact he was already old, and having held 5 the Empire only one Year 
and two Months, he was dispossessed and slain by Heliogabalus, who 
was young and powerful ; 

• pl Brut, c 94 ; " Witness e Brutus, who, wishing to enquire into the Issue of the Battle 

of Pharsalia, in which he was killed, stumbled upon this Verse, said of 
Patroclus, Iliad xvL [849], 

dXXd fu ftdtp' 6X0)1 koX ArjToOi (crave* \A6t % 
By felon Fate I'm slain, and Leto's Son, 

that is to say Apollo, which was the Watchword on the Day of that 

Battle ; 

so also by Virgilian Lots have been discovered of old and foreseen 
notable Events, and Cases of great Importance, even so far as to the 

* Lamprid. al obtaining of the Roman Empire ; as indeed happened to f Alexander 

Severus, who in this Manner of Lottery found the following Verse 
written, Aeneidvi. [851], 


8 The sortts Virgilianae have been tiarum, cap. iv., violently reprobating 

often resorted to in all times, and in- them. 

geniously explained in accordance with * According to Diogenes Laertius it 

events that are past, and so made out was Aeschines ; in Plato it was Crito who 

to be prophetic. There is a passage visited Socrates in prison, 
in Cornelius Agrippa, de Vamtate Scum- b Fr. obtenu, Lat obtinert, to retain. 

chap, x PANTAGRUEL 425 

Tu regere imperio populos t Romania memento, 

Rome's Son, when thou to Empery shalt come, 
Sway thou the World that it no worse become, 

and then was, after a certain Number of Years, really and indeed created 

Emperor of Rome ; 

Also in the case of * Adrian, who being in Doubt and Trouble to know « Spanianu*, 

what Opinion Trajan had of him and in what Affection he bore him, 

took Counsel by means of the Virgilian Lottery and came upon these 

Lines, Aeneid vL [809], 

Quis procul tile autem ramis insignis olivet* 
Sacra ferens ? Nosco crines incanaque tnenta 
Regis Roman*. 

But who is he far off, that in his Hand 
Bears Olive-branches, Tokens of high Rank? 
By his grey Locks and holy Livery 
I recognise the aged Roman King. 

He was afterwards adopted by Trajan and succeeded to the Empire. 

" In the case of h Claudius the Second, Emperor of Rome and much »>TrebeHPoMo, 
belauded, to whom occurred by Lottery this Verse, written Aeneid i. (a.d. ao*). " 

Tertia dum Lotto rtgnaniem viderit aestas, 

When thou as Ruler shalt have shewn thyself 
In Rome, and reigning the third Summer seen, 

and in fact he only reigned two Years. 

" To the same Man also, when enquiring about his Brother ! Quintilius, 1 Trebeii. PoUio, 
whom he wished to associate with himself in the Government of the 
Empire, happened the Answer in this Verse, Aeneid vi. [869], 

Ostendent terris kunc tantumfata, 

The Fates shall only shew him to the Earth, 

which thing came to pass, for he was slain seventeen Days after he had 
the Management of the Empire. 

"The same Lot fell to the Emperor J * Gordianus the Younger. J Jul CapitoL 

. __ GOTO* TrWi C 90 

" Also to k Clodius Albinus, who was anxious to learn his good Fortune, (a.d.«8\ . . 

* Jul. CapitoL 

occurred the Line that is written Aeneid vi. [857], cl Amn. c 5. 

Hie rem Romanam magno turbante tumultu 

Sistet eques, etc. [stemet Poenos Gattumque rebclUni] 

This Knight shall stand in Battle's rude Debate 
The Stay unshaken of the Roman State : 
The Carthaginians he shall foil and quell, 
And eke the Gauls, when they shall dare rebel. 




i TrebelLPollio, 
ClatuL c. 10. 

" In the case of *D. Claudius Emperor, Predecessor of Aurelian, eagerly 

enquiring concerning his Posterity, occurred this Verse by Lot, Acncid 

i. [278], 

His ego nee trutas rtrum net tempora pono. 

For them a long Duration I foretell, 
Nor to their Fortunes Date or Limit fix. 

" Indeed he had Successors in long Descent ; 

" In the case of Master Pierre Amy, 6 when he enquired to know 
whether he should escape from the Plots of the Hobgoblins, and happened 
on this Verse, Aeneid iil [44], 

Hcu / fugt crudeUs terras, fuge litius avarum. 

At once escape these Nations barbarous ! 
At once escape these Regions covetous ! 

" He forthwith escaped from their Hands safe and sound ; 

" There are a thousand others, whose Adventures it would be too 
prolix to relate, all which fell out in accordance with the Sentence of 
the Verse found by such Lot-casting. 

" Nevertheless I do not wish to infer that this Lottery is universally 
infallible, so that you may not be therein deluded." 

6 Pierre Amy, a great friend of Rabe- 
lais and an associate with him and 
Budaeus in their learned labours. He 
was in 1520, like Rabelais, a monk in the 
convent of Fontenay-le-Comte ; and it 
seems quite possible that this story is true. 
The hobgoblins (farfadets) are of course 
the ignorant and bigoted Franciscans who 
persecuted their more learned brothers. 
The fables about the monks having given 

the vade in pace to Rabelais and his 
having been released from duress vile by 
main force are dissipated by one of the 
letters from Budaeus to Rabelais (half 
Greek and half Latin), in which the true 
state of the case is described. The 
ignorant monks had persecuted Rabelais 
and Amy and taken their books from 
them, as being heretical, but had been 
compelled to restore them. 


How Pantagruel pointeth out that Divination by Dice 

is illicit 

" It would be sooner done," said Panurge, " and despatched by three fair