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LEfjox Library
Dngckinrk dtUrcttun.
P«**ntfitittIB78.
REMINISCENCES
1]
OF
ETON.
BY AN ETONIAN
FLOREAT ETONA.
PRINTED FOR THE AUTHOR,
BY J. HACKMAN, TOWER STREET.
/
MDCl'CXXXI.
TO
HER ROYAL HIGHNESS
THE
DUCHESS OF KENT,
&c. &c. &c.
THIS WORK,
18
WITH HER KIND PERMISSION,
MOST RESPECTFULLY AND HUMBLY DEDICATED,
BY HER GRATEFUL,
AND OBLIGED SERVANT,
THE ETONIAN.
Bognor, Dec. 10, 1831.
PREFACE.
A Preface, like a handsome portico to a
building, should be the index of what is to
succeed. The Etonian trusts that it will require
no comments from him to recommend his liter-
ary bantling to the perusal of the public, inde-
pendent of those that are Etonians, when they
advert to the distinguished patronage under
which his work makes its appearance ; that of
the most excellent and royal consort of one of
our late noble Princes. To Englishmen the
house of Hanover is dear ; and may the same
affection ever flow towards those who are en-
grafted on its illustrious stock. The author de-
tests flattery ; but he cannot fail from remark-
ing in this place, that the exalted personage,
who so kindly condescends to permit the dedi-
cation of this work to her, has ever been, like
her great prototype Queen Charlotte, a pattern
TI
of excellence and goodness, worthy of imitation
by all grades of society.
The sensible experience of the want of the
quantum sujfficit, is the only apology which the
author adduces for the appearance of his Remi-
niscences* He trusts that his little bark will
not be too violently tossed, which he presumes
to launch on the waves of literary scrutiny ;
but that it may go well from the stocks, and
that its progress may meet with no Simoommg
blast, previous to its attaining the wished for
haven, that of public favour. It is with an
acheing heart, that in the following pages he
reverts to scenes of juvenile felicity, when no
care for the morrow, (the temporary infliction
of the budded birch excepted), ever arose to
blight the present enjoyment. Then all was
happiness, all was sunshine. But new what is
it f A dark future to look upon.
Fearing least he should advance too far into
the Slough of Despond, he will put the harness
to his back, and under the influence of his an-
cestorial motto, Nil Desperandum, will proceed
to the execution of what he proposed, his Re-
miniscences.
SUBSCRIBERS.
A.
Apsley, the Right Hon* Lord,. Cirencester, 4 copies
Adam, Mr., Hull
Adams, Mrs. T. J., London
A. B., Eton College
Antrobus, E. Esq., Strand, London, 8 copies
Anonymous, 3 copies
B.
Bangor, the Lord Bishop of, Bangor, 4 copies
Bute, the Most Noble the Marquis of, Kensington, 4
Beverley, the Right Hon. the Earl of, 8 copies
Belfast, the Right Hon. the Earl of, Cowcs, 4 copies
Bathurst, the Right Hon. W. L., London, 4 copies
Byam, the Rev. R. B., Vicar of Kew, &c. 4 copies
Bennett, the Rev. W., Canterbury
Baumgarten, the Rev. C. H., Midhurst, 2 copies
Buckle, Miss F., Chichester
Burton, Sir R., Jacket's Hill, Margate
Baikie, J. Esq., London
Barrow, the Rev. F., Margate
Brooke, Mrs., ditto
Browne, Mrs. Turner, ditto
Bailey, Mrs., Horton Lodge
Bell, Mr. W., Hull
Browne, R. L. Esq., King's College, Cambridge
VI11
Bull Book Club, (the), Cambridge
Barker, Mrs., Welwyn, Herts, 4 copies
Bridger, IVfr. B., Cambridge
Browne, Mr. C. £., Cambridge
Baker, W. P. Esq., Bayfordbury, Herts, 4 copies
C.
Carmarthen, the Most Noble the Marquis of, 5 copies
Cholmondeley, Right Hon. Lord Henry, 4 copies
Cavendish, Lord W., M.P., Holkar Park, 4 copies
Clinton, the Right Hon. Lord, Heanton Sackville, 4
Clinton, the Right Hon. Lady, ditto 4
Coke, T. W. Esq., Holkham House, 4 copies
Canning, the Right Hon. Sir Stratford
Cust, the Hon. E., Lucknor
Caldwell, Vere Esq., 90th Regt.
Creed, Mr., Margate
Close, Captain, Bognor
Cory, Mr. E., Cambridge
Clayton, C. Esq., ditto
Case, Mr. W. ditto
Casson, Mr. R., Portsmouth
Crow, Mr. C, Margate
C. D., Eton College
Downshire, the Most Noble the Marquis of, 4 copies
Darnley, the Right Hon. the Earl of, 4 copies
Durham, the Right Hon. Lord, 4 copies
Dashwood, Sir G., Bart., Kirtlington Park, 4 copies
Dashwood, the Rev. Augustus, Thornage Rectory, 4
Dampier, J. L. Esq., Recorder of Portsmouth, 4
Drury, the Rev. H., Harrow
Deighton, Mr., Cambridge
Dering, Mrs., Margate
Dormer, E. Esq., Emshurst House
E.
Exeter, the Most Noble the Marquis of, 20 copies
Ellenborough, the Right Hon. Lord, 4 copies
Eton College, the Provost of, 8 copies
Eton College, the Vice-Provost of
Elvey, Mr. W., London
F.
Fitzherbert, M. W. Esq., Queen's Coll. Cambridge
FoTSter, Mrs. C. F., Margate
Ficklin, T. J., Esq.
G.
Graham, the Most Noble the Marquis of, 4 copies
Graham, the Rev. J., D.D., Vice-Chancellor of
Cambridge University, 4 copies
Gauntlett, the Rev. F., Bognor
Gratwicke, W. R. Esq., Walberton
Gore, Mr. T., Margate
H.
Hardwicke, the Right Hon. the Earl of, 6 copies
Hatch, the Rev. T., Vicar of Walton, 2 copies
Harbord, W. Esq., Hull, 4 copies
Harbord, Miss, ditto, 2 copies
Harbord, H. Esq. ditto
Headley, H. Esq., Cambridge, 2 copies
Hawtrey, S. Esq., Trinity College, Cambridge
Hatt, Mr. T., Cambridge
Hull, Mr. T. ditto
Hayes, T. Esq., Bognor
Haslar, Mrs. ditto 2 copies
Hancocke, Mr. W., Fulbourn
Harris, Mr., St. Paul's Church Yard, 6 copies
J.
Ingestrie, Viscount, Groavenor Street, 4 copies
Jodrell, R. P. Esq., Sail Park, Norfolk
J arris, — M.D., Margate
K.
Knight, the Hon. Mrs., Emshurst House, 2 copies
Keate, the Rev. Dr., Eton College
Knapp, the Rev. H. H., ditto
Kinleside, the Rev. Mr., Walberton
Kinleside, Mrs. ditto
Kinleside, Miss ditto
Kerrich, the Rev. R. E., Cambridge
King, Mr. T., Dernford Mills
King, Mr. D., Cambridge
L.
Loughborough, the Right Hon. Lord, 4 copies
Lonsdale, the Rev. J., Rector of Bloomsbury, 8
Laird, J., M.D., Bognor, 2 copies
Lutwidge, C. Esq., Hull
Lansell, Mr. T., Margate
Lewis, Mr. S., ditto
Levey, Mr. E. ditto
M.
Minto, the Right Hon. the Earl of, Bognor, 4 copies
Mayo, the Right Hon. the Earl of, ditto
Mayo, the Countess of ditto
Mortlock, Mr. Alderman W., Cambridge
Matthews, S. Esq., Mus. Bac. ditto
Millekin, the Rev. R., Itchenor
Munton, Mr. E., Hull
Miller, the Rev. E., -Bognor
Marie, A. Esq., London
XI
Marshall, Mr., Cambridge
Marshall, Mr. C. ditto
Moorsom, Mrs. G., London
N.
Northumberland, His Grace the Duke of, 4 copies
Nicholas, the Rev. G., Ealing, 2 copies
Newby, Mr. T., Cambridge
O.
Otley, the Rev. C. B., Vicar of Tortington
Oppenheim, Mr. H. D., Cambridge
Osborn, L. Esq., Margate
Oust, Mrs., Hull
P.
Palmerston, the Right Hon. Lord, 4 copies
Pole, Sir. W., Bart., Bognor, 4 copies
Patteson, Sir John, London, 6 copies
Prettyman, the Rev. R., Rector of Middleton, Oxon.
2 copies
Poyntz, W. S. Esq., M.P., Cowdray Park, 4 copies
Perrott, Mrs., Sandford Park, 4 copies
Peachey, Miss, Bognor
R.
Richmond, His Grace the Duke of, 4 copies
Rawnsley, the Rev. T. H., 2 copies
Read, Capt., R.N., Shalfleet, Isle of Wight
Rodmell, T. Esq., Hull
Ro worth, Mrs. C, London
Rhoades, T. Esq., Chichester
Rhoades, W. C. Esq., Mayor of Chichester
Rhoades, the Rev. J. P., Wadham College, Oxford
XII
S.
Salisbury, the Most Noble the Marquis of, 4 copies
Sondes, the Right Hon. Lord, Lees Court, 4 copies
Smith, the Hon. R. J., M.P., 5 copies
Strathaven, the Right Hon. Lord, 4 copies
Sheffield, the Right Hon. the Earl of
Slingsby, the Rev. H., Rector of Greenford, 10 copies
Slingsby, Miss M., Greenford, 2 copies
Slingsby, Mrs., Eton
Slingsby, Miss C, Eton, 2 copies
Slingsby, Miss M., ditto
Slingsby, Miss S. ditto
Slingsby, Miss E. ditto
Sansum, Mr., Portsmouth
Simeon, Sir R., Bart., St. John's Isle of Wight, 4 c.
Salter, R. Esq., Margate, 10 copies
Shallow, Mr. T., Cambridge
T.
Tullamoore, the Right Hon. Lord, Draklowe, 4 c.
Trecothic, B. Esq., Bognor
Trickett, Mrs., Elmshurst, Isle of Wight
Tuflnell, the Rev. S. J., Vicar of Mundham
Tucker, the Rev. W. H., King's Coll. Cambridge
Thomson, — Esq., Bognor
Tapfield, Mr. S., Cambridge
Tindale, Miss, Bognor
u.
Underwood, Miss E. N., Barnet, Herts
W.
Winnington, Sir T., Bart., M.P., 4 copies
Whitbread, W. H. Esq., M.P., Badwell Park, 4 c.
Wilson, Mrs., Dome House, Bognor, 4 copies
Wilson, J. G. Esq., Cambridge
XIII
Watkins, the Rev. W., Vicar of St. Olave's
Chichester
White, Capt., 90th Regt.
Waddington, Mr., Margate
Whitehead, J. Esq., Margate
Wood, — Esq., Bognor
Wood, Miss, Margate
Wright, Mr. J. E., ditto
Wheeler, Mr. G. K., Cambridge
Wallis, Mr. W. ditto
Wallis, Mr. H. ditto
Y.
Younge, C. Esq., King's Coll. Cambridge
REMINISCENCES
OF
AN ETONIAN.
CHAPTER I.
Rosalind. A traveller! by my faith you have great reason
to be sad : I fear you have sold your own lands, to see other
men's : often to have seen much, and to have nothing-, is to have
rich eyes, and poor hands.
Jaques. Yes I have gained experience.
As you like it.
Considering that many of my predecessors
in arte scribendi, or in plain English, the art of
scribbling, have usually thought proper to say
something of themselves, as the proem of the quid
sequitur, I propose to follow in the same beaten
track. Newton, Milton, the Bard of Avon, all
the worthies of olden times, nay those exalted
characters, who have taken an airy flight from
this world at Tyburn tree, and the more modern
B
10 REMINISCENCES
Golgotha, the Old Bailey, have all been cele-
brated by their Biographers. My intention is
not to wait for posthumous fame, but to blow
my own trumpet. For the information then of
those, who honour this little work with a perusal,
I shall briefly state my parentage; which, though
not encircled with the splendour of a coronet,
and those flattering distinctions which the world
generally attaches to the scions of nobility —
though no eagle hovered over my cradle to
augur future greatness — though no prophet
foretold my exaltation to a Prebendal Stall, or
some snug Living, (for I fear that he would have
been a lying prophet), still was my birth, as
far as worldly consideration goes, somewhat
above that of the common herd of mankind.
My father was a Proctor of Doctors' Com-
mons, and was the lineal descendant of the re-
nowned Admiral*, who sooner than lead a life
* An anecdote is extant respecting him : when he obtained
the command of the English Fleet, he procured also the com-
mand of a ship of war for one of his brothers, imagining 1 that
he had as much courage as himself; but in the first action, his
brother deceived him, by shewing the greatest cowardice, and
OF AN ETONIAN. 11
of inactivity, when his country's battles were to
be fought, entered into the service of the usur-
per Cromwell, and conquered Van Tromp, in
the celebrated engagement, in which the arro-
gant Dutchman lost his life. My name it is
needless to mention, for whatever Englishman
knows it not by this time, must be little versed
in the history of his native land. His father had
been what in those days was termed, a squire of
high degree, (a character almost out of date in
these degenerate days) and was possessed of con-
siderable property in Yorkshire : he was more-
over the lord of two Manors, near to Walling-
ford in Berkshire : but from a system of great
extravagance in his hunting and canine establish-
ment, was compelled to dispose of the greater
part of his broad acres, and in the general wreck
(by persuading my father to join in cutting off
keeping' without the reach of cannon-shot. He immediately
sent him to England. " I have deceived myself (said he to his
officers), my brother is not made for war ; but if he cannot
shew face to the enemy on board a ship, he can at least be
useful to his country at the tail of a plough." He intrusted him
with the cultivation of his estates, and left them to him when
he died.
12 REMINISCENCES
the entail,) the two Manors had wings, and flew
away. The same unfortunate mania for spend-
ing money was inherited by my father and again
by his son : too truly verifying the old adage,
What is in the bone, j*c«, and from what I ean
understand, at the time of his marriage with my
mother, he had scarcely any thing else, than his
business as a Proctor : but that, from the few
which then followed the profession, was attended
with great emoluments, and united to that of his
matrimonial dowry, enabled him to live in tole-
rable affluence.
The beautiful Village of Upton in Bucking-
hamshire, situated somewhat more than a mile
distant from our great storehouse of education
Eton College, was the place of my Nativity in
the Year 1791, my father renting a very pretty
Cottage Ornee in the above retired Village,
where he might have said in addition to the
house, with Horace,
modus agri non ita maguus ;
Hortus ubi, et tecto viciiius jugis aquae fous>
Et paulum sjlva* suptT his /u if.
OF AN ETONIAN. 13
An event of such importance occurring to the
community at large, it was necessary that some-
thing remarkable should take place, which was
nothing more or less, than the loss of the Coach-
man's hat, in the urgency of his haste on one of
the Carriage horses, to procure the attendance
of the medical adviser of the family, Dr. Mac-
queen ; as well as that also of my most excel-
lent father, in making the experiment of a nearer
way, than that of the common footpath, finding
himself immersed nearly to his chin in one of the
ditches, which intervene between Upton and
Eton. With these two untoward events, sym-
bolical perhaps of those, which have already
overflown the writer of these lines, the birth of
him who was to prolong the old Admiral's race,
took place.
The years of infancy past off like those of
most children, during which time I sustained
the greatest loss, which can befall a child, that
of a beloved mother, and soon succeeded by an
only brother, who was named after his ancestor,
14 REMINISCENCES
Richard. When I was considered of sufficient
age to have Latin and Greek flogged into me,
I was sent to the neighbouring Village of Slough,
to the especial care of a Mr. A , or I might
say, with greater propriety to that of Mrs.
A (as I went as a sans culotte) to undergo the
drudgery, as well to Tutor, as to Pupil, of learn-
ing my ABC, from thence I removed with him
to Langley Broom, no inappropriate name for
its owner, who wielded the birch with a most
powerful arm. If flogging was an evidence in
favour of his attention to his pupil's proficiency,
no one could have been more solicitous, nor with
greater justice have been termed, the Prince of
Floggers, than the above-named pedagogue.
He certainly brought his pupils forward, as
well as acted upon them on the reverse: no
drone would he willingly allow in Langley
Broom Academy for Young Gentlemen, emi-
nently displayed as those letters were on a Gib-
bet-shaped board, under which the entrance
from the high road ran across the heath to the
OP AN ETONIAN. 15
house ; and if there was one boy dronishly in-
clined, be assured that he had no honied life of it.
At eight years of age, I was entered at Eton,
that little world of life and happiness, and was
placed, as was then considered high for my years,
in the Lower Greek. At this time my father left
Upton, and constantly made Doctors' Commons
his place of residence for many years. Though
I lost the near neighbourhood of my father by
his removal, still was it amply compensated by
the kindness of my maternal Grandfather, who
resided at Ankerwyke House, only five miles dis-
tant from Windsor, not far from the Bells of Ous-
ley, a romantic public house on the Thames, and
directly opposite to the far-famed Runnymede.
Upon the grounds attached to the venerable old
Mansion was a majestic yew tree, under which,
among the old inhabitants of the Hamlet, in con-
tradiction to History, the tradition was, that the
celebrated signature of England's liberty, the
Magna Charta extorted from King John by the
independent Barons, was there signed, by that
16 REMINISCENCES.
hitherto tyrannical prince. It certainly was
one of the finest specimens of that almost an-
tiquated species of tree, which is any where
to be found in this country : and admirably
adapted to the purpose for which it was then
supposed to have been used. How frequently
in the Holidays, have I, together with my cou-
sins and perhaps a friend from Eton, whom
with my kind Grandfather's permission I had
invited to pass a few days with us, given the
old Gardener the slip ; and then, by placing our
sentinels, have we received the peaches, and
die various productions of a luxuriant garden,
handed over to us by our confederate on the
other side, and enjoyed a noble feast, seated on
the branches of this venerable tree. Here en-
sconced among its foliage, we bade adieu to the
cares of school, regardless of alj except the pre-
sent pleasure. It sometimes escaped our usual
foresight, to erase ^certain footmarks which had
been made in our depredations, when crossing
the borders : but as we had entered into a holy
OF AN ETONIAN. 17
alliance, and were nearly of a size, Nobody
did it, Nobody knew any thing about it : and
unless the injustice of punishing all, for the sake
of finding out the guilty, was used, we were to-
lerably sure of coining off clear. But we were
once detected, and that in a most unlooked for
manner* For several days we had, like the In-
dian Chiefs, held a Palaver, the intent of which
was, how we should manage the exportation of
a large bag of apples, which we had dislodged
from sundry fine trees in the orchard, to our
desks in the College: at last it was finally re-
solved by the captain of our band, that we
should go to one of my grandfather's tenants,
and with his compliments, beg the use of his
taxed cart to convey us to school on the fol-
lowing day ; (the carriage being engaged else-
where). Of cotgrse a ready assent was given,
and we said that we would call in the morning
for if. Having bribe^ the groom to drive us,
and that very early in the morning, we soon
reached our Dames with the fruits of our pur-
c
18 REMINISCENCES
Ioining : so far all appeared to go on well, but
by the sequel it proved otherwise : for as old
Nick, or some other mischief-making fellow
would have it, my grandfather unfortunately
went to the parish church of Wyraydisbury on
the following Sunday. At the expiration of the
service, as he was the Squire of the place, the
farmers and others waited to make their salaams
to him in the church-yard, the usual resort of
the village loungers for a short period before and
after the service. Among the number was our
goodnatured taxed cart-lending farmer, who af-
ter sundry remarks doubtless as is generally the
case with them on the wetness of the season, or the
ruinous low price of corn, and hoping that his
honour was well, blundered out, that he was
much pleased in being able to oblige him with
the use of old Rose and the cart, to take Master
Henry, and the other young gentleman, and the
apples to school. I afterwards understood that
he heard the story of the apples and the cart
^jjvith perfect composure apparently : for when
OF AN ETONIAN. 19
excited by any thing, and in this cage there was
just reason, he was generally, what would be
termed, a violent man. But this calm was die
precursor of a storm, and proved a Red sea to
us. The truth soon flashed upon his mind : and
it being a heinous offence, forgery of his name,
and abduction of die apples, a note was dispatch-
ed to Dr. Langford, the Head Master, (which
note was conveyed by the identical groom that
drove us over), requesting that we should be
severely punished, which was as duly honoured
by the acceptor : for we made expiation for our
offence on the block in the Lower School, as is
the case always, when put in the bill by die
assistants, for neglect of the lesson, or any scho-
lastic faults : then punishment inevitably fol-
lows.
Should I enumerate all the various tricks
practised at home, they would lengthen out too
much my Reminiscences of Eton, or according
to the clerical phrase, would be beyond the
limits of this discourse : suffice it to say then, an
20 REMINISCENCES
apprenticeship at Eton did not tend to diminish
them*
A few pages in this place to a description of
Ankerwyke House, may not perhaps be uninter-
esting 1 .
It was an ancient nunnery of vast extent, and
approached from thehigh road by a noble avenue
of cedars and yew trees, which imported to it
that gloom, which mostly environed the houses
attached to religious education. To us boys, an
indescribable awe was excited in our minds,
when traversing its long and shadowy chambers:
and frequently, even in midday, have we dread-
ed to explore its upper chambers, where the
refractory nuns were accustomed to be con-
fined, and where the iron rings in the wall,
recalled to the mind the harrowing punishments,
which too often, in those days, were inflicted
on the deluded inmates of monkish ignorance
and barbarity. Not one of us younkers, would
have volunteered to have ascended to the upper
rooms after nightfall without a light on any ac-
aF AN ETONIAN. 21
count: this foolish dread originated, I imagine,
in a scheme of the servants, who, to deter us
boys from trespassing on their orgies in the ser-
vant's hall, used to give out that certain noises
were heard at night : that chains rattled in the
cellars ; and that the ghosts of nuns, displaying
their unearthly shapes, were then to be seen. At
any rate the desired object was gained : thegreat
hall, and the long and dreary passagefrom thence
to the servant's hall,, were not traversed except
by compulsion or mandate from the governor^and
then with fear and trembling* At any rate, with
all this mixture of boyish fears, those days were
the happiest ; and though long gone by, and the
place of them levelled to the ground, by a new
proprietor, an Indian Nabob, whose estate ad-
joined, and who purchased the property when
my granfather left it: and though this venerable
fabric was destroyed with almost sacrilegious
hand; and the only reason given for this spolia-
tion was, that an interesting ruin might be visi-
ble from his own gew-gaw modern mansion*
22 REMINISCENCES
I mentioned the great hall, of course it was the
entrance to the house, and situated between the
dining and drawing rooms, and was about forty
feet long, with lofty stone windows, in several
compartments of which,were some beautifully en-
riched specimens of painting: more particularly
family arms, bishops and their croziers,and nuns
praying to their ghostly fathers. It was often the
scene of frolic to us, when a wet day would not
allow us to have our sports externally : battle-
door and shuttlcock,leap frog, in short any thing
to while away the time, was enacted in the great
hall. From my grandfather's high official si-
tuation, of which more anon, he was frequently
in the habit of receiving many presents, such as
Turtles, the finest Madeira, &c.
Upon one particular occasion, a merchant of
Madeira, who, in the time of the war, had re-
ceived great kindness from him, consigned to
him a pipe of very particular Madeira, which,
for the sake of convenience at the time of its ar-
rival, was deposited in one corner of the hall :
OF AN ETONIAN. 23
no great ornament certainly, (although I wish
I could bless my eyes with such a sight now),
still there it was. Some few days after its ar-
rival, a ball was given, but on what particular
occasion, if any, I know not. But among the
visitors I well recollect the hero of Acre Sir
S. S. 9 as well as the great vocalist of the day,
the inimitable Dignum.
At the conclusion of the dancing, previous to
supper, all went to that old English meal, with
the exception of Sir S. and us young Etonians :
we were so delighted with him, that like burrs
we stuck to him. His object in staying away
from the supper table was to have some fun, and
sailor like, when all were seated in the supper-
room, he recalled the fiddlers, and having sent
for the cook, scullion, maids, and all spare hands
hornpipes were introduced, and kept up mer-
rily, until a move began to take place among
thearistocratical part of the old nunnery's guests.
While this display of the light fantastic toe, as
well as heavy heel of the old cook, was going
24 REMINISCENCES
forward in the drawing room, we were not idle
in the hall; for having mounted the pipe of
Madeira, we personified jolly young Bacchus
to perfection. But in the midst of our fun, (for
we were rolling this said pipe backwards and
forwards, considering no doubt that we were as
effectual to its improvement as a voyage to the
East Indies and back), when what should greet
our, certainly not longing, eyes, but the open-
ing of the door, and my grandfather escorting
Lady A., preceded by the butler, to the draw-
ing room. If our hair could have been trans-
formed to Porcupine's quills, the tranformation
would not have been tedious. The pipe exter-
nally was a dead calm in an instant, whatever
was die internal commotion. We saw suffici-
ently from the lighting up of the good old man's
eye, that we were in the wrong box, and with-
out waiting for any further explanation, we,
like old foxes, stole away. In the morning,
previous to my grandfather's appearance, he
not being a very early riser, we obtained the
OF AN ETONIAN. 25
«ar of Sir S. S., who willingly petitioned for us,
and to our delight the storm blew over.
A few words respecting my most excellent
and generous grandfather. For some service
performed for Admiral Keppell, united to an
intimacy with the minister, William Pitt, he had
obtained the lucrative situation of Marshal of
the High Court of Admiralty, a situation which
in the time of war, produced upwards of fifteen
thousand pounds per annum. As I had the
good fortune to be his favourite grandson, I
very frequently experienced the fruits of it. He
it was that sent me to Eton, and was at the sole
expense of my education.
Many of my schoolfellows may recollect, and
at that time with no small feelings of envy,
when his carriage, with two beautiful black
horses, (and sometimes four), was drawn up at
Barnes-pool Bridge, adjoining my Dames, on
a Saturday to take me home to Anker wyke:
and when perhaps, on the Monday morning,
driven by the groom in the chaise, with the old
26 REMINISCENCES
long-tailed grey, I made my appearance pre-
vious to eight o'clock school, laden with a basket
of fruit, and an accompanying present of sweet-
meats from the aged housekeeper, with whom I
always made it a rule to be on the best of terms.
In short, on such good terms was I with the old
lady, that as I advanced in school, I seldom
found my trunk, on returning from the holidays,
unoccupied with sundry bottles of wine— the
discussion of which of an after Jbur 9 was no
disagreeable affair.
Attached to the old house, was a very large
wood, tenanted by a noisy republic of rooks ;
not one of which would my grandfather, on any
account whatever, permit to be destroyed. They
seemed to be the presiding deities of the place.
It was a source of much delight, in the stillness
of a summer's evening, to observe this sable
cloud, winging their airy flight from a distance,
to the well-known seats' of their ancestors, sated
with their excursions on the farmer's corn-fields.
Previous to retiring to roost, the sound was ab-
OF AN ETONIAN. 27
solutely deafening to the ears of any stranger ;
battle after battle was waged, some more fortu-
nate, or earlier arrival at home, having posess-
ed himself of some favorite branch, until at
length as the Sun began to sink into the west,
so did their ruffled tempers subside into a calm,
though now and then interrupted by a solitary
caw, indicating the too near neighbourhood of
a brother rook.
In front of the house, was a most beautiful
lawn, separated by a field from the majestic
Thames, at the extremity of which, a tall flag
staff was erected, on which the Jack of Great
Britain waved, indicating to the neighbourhood,
like that of his royal master at Windsor, that its
owner was in residence, and which was always
lowered on his departure for London.
38 REMINISCENCES
CHAPTER II.
High in the midst, surrounded by his peers,
Magnus his ample front sublime uprears;
Placed on his chair of state, he seems a god,
While Sophs and Freshmen tremble at his nod :
As all around sit wrapt in speechless gloom,
His voice in thunders shakes the sounding dome;
Denouncing dire reproach to luckless fools.
Thoughts wuggested by a College
Examination— Byron.
It will not now perhaps be amiss in this place,
nor void of interest to many who were partici-
pators in them, to relate a few of the pastimes,
with which our vacant hours were employed,
interlarded with some of the devices, which found
their origin in the brains of Etonians.
Two and twenty years have now elapsed (truly
1 may say, more fluentis aquae) since my resig-
nation came : though it is more properly speak*
ing, the resignation of a fellow of King's College,
Cambridge ; a day most anxiously looked for,
OF AN ETONIAN. 29
when the boy leaves hi* nursing mother, Eton,
and puts on the Toga virilis, at Cambridge*
Still many things are as fresh in my mind's eye
as if acted but yesterday. The impression made
on the youthful mind is seldom effaced by time
or distance.
My Eton Reminiscences carry me back to the
day of my initiation at my Dames, when having
dried up my tears on leaving my kind patron,
and after having been presented to the Head
Master of the Lower School, Dr, Langford, I
was entered as an Etonian . A new comer was
soon found out, and as soon was I encompassed
by a crowd of boys, supposing that on my first
entrance I had plenty of cash ; which, like a
recruit's bounty money, soon found plenty of
customers. One thought I might as well use
it for his benefit, with old Mrs. Carter at the
corner of the school yard, for soc:* another
thought that old mother Bo had some excellent
tarts. Bo being an abbreviation for Boring*
* An Eton phrase for eatables.
90 REMINISCENCES.
ton, who went by the inelegant name of gravy
eye, solely from having an eye which was very
watery. At any rate her tarts were very good,
and held in great esteem ; and she was not very
importunate in dunning for her bills after the
holidays, a very saving quality in an Eton shop-
keeper.
In a short space of time, after having bled
pretty freely, I recollect one of the upper boys
at my Dames, asking me my name and surname.
Having been previously instructed by some
kind friend, I said, Pudding and tame, ask my
dame, she will tell you the same. Which was
immediately answered by him with a tremend-
ous box on the ear. I was then highly hon-
oured by the mandate, " Well Sir, you shall
be my Fag : what are you staring at, you stupid
ass ? you will have to get my rolls and butter
from Mother Coker's (a well-known name
among all Etonians). You begin tomorrow
morning mind Sir, and see that my clothes and
shoes are properly cleaned in the morning'."
N
OF AN ETONIAN. 31
I was well aware beforehand that to kick
would be of no benefit, and therefore I sub-
mitted with a good grace : and from being of a
tolerably active, and not sulky disposition, I
soon met with kindness, and even indulgence
from my boy master, he fagging others to save
me.
Consider me now, on the morning of the next
day, with my new books all fresh from the book-
sellers, (destined not long to remain so), with
all the thoughts of home still lingering on my
mind, making my entree into the Lower School,
where, in awful grandeur, its superior ruler had
just taken his seat. To me the vision of a cau-
liflower wig was almost, if not quite, a perfect
novelty : in addition to the awful dignity of the
wig and its wearer, the often-tried block near
to the master's right hand, met my sight, greet-
ing one whom, within a very few days, an ac-
quaintanceship was to take place. In short, so
very sudden was our intimacy to begin, that
had it not been for the usual indulgence grant-
32 REMINISCENCES
ed to those who incur the displeasure of the
master, that very day would have seen me kneel-
ing as a culprit. The case was this, and a hard
case it was : as I was sitting at the end of a
form, the boy next me said, " that fellow at the
other end has been laughing at your red collar,
send this piece of orange peel at his head." I
not thinking much about it, and irate at the idea
of a boy ridiculing my smart jacket, dismissed
the orange missile, but with so bad an aim, that
it went close to the awe-inspiring wig of the
head master.
Upon being questioned who had done it, and
after having been nudged by the prompter of
the act to say, / did it, Sir, at the same time
looking at me, as much as to say, (as well as to
inform the master), You did it, I directly said,
" I did it, Sir." Upon which I was ordered up
for punishment All necessary habiliments be-
ing removed, and kneeling on the block, while
two boys stood behind it holding my arms and
clothes, and grinning all the time, I awaited the
OF AN ETONIAN. 33
fatal stroke, when one of then said to me, " say
it is your first fault ," which I immediately did :
the birch instantly fell from its upraised pos-
ture, and I as quickly returned to my place on
the form ; and as soon as school was oyer I
challenged the boy to fight me for the trick he
played upon me, and repairing to the playing
fields, with my heart leaping all but out of my
mouth, I set too with my antagonist ; and al-
though the challenger, in the very first round,
from a most untoward blow in my mouth, Iran
off, saying that I had gotten a very bad tooth
ache. So much for the first day of entering
school — so much for losing my first faulty
through another's means — and so much for los-
ing my first battle.
I was entered in the Lower Greek, which was
then considered very high for my years, only
eight, and consequently was under the parti-
cular superintendence of the head master. With
all the solemn dignity attached to the cauli-
flower, it would frequently be the exciter of a
E
34 REMINISCENCES
titter among those who viewed its variations :
sometimes in the heat of explaining, or castiga-
tion, or some other cause, this identical wig
would get displaced ; and instead of the frontal
point being directly on a parallel with that part
of the human form, commonly called the nose,
it would perhaps be paying its devoirs to one
of the eyes, and then the effect was truly ludi-
crous. I trust my readers will pardon so many
lines to the Cauliflower Wig, this being the
reign of Whiggyism.
I was now become a regular Etonian, up to
any thing. I recollect the first liberty* I got,
was from the present Head Master of the Lower
School. As I made my entree in a blue jacket
with a red collar, from some little whim of my
grandfather, owing to its being the same as the
Windsor uniform, I was christened, Black JB.
with a blue coat and a red cape.
As to hunting small birds in the hedg'es with
* Permission from a sixth-form boy to be out of bound;
without being obliged to shirk him.
OF AN ETONIAN. 35
leaded sticks, leaping the common ditch, giving
a duck a slight poke on the head with a stone,
making old Pocock, the farmer, at the corner
of Cut-throat lane, sometimes minus a few eggs,
amassing almost a little fortune by boss and
m
marbles in the school yard, upper and lower
fives, ringing or knocking at the Dames houses
on our return from five o'clock school to our
own Dames, taking advantage of a dark night
of course for our rather hazardous freak ; in all
these, and many others, I had become aufait,
a regular professor.
On one particular evening, I recollect being
caught as completely, as if I had put my foot
into a man-trap. Being at my old sport one
very dark night, I placed my hand as usual, to
have a knock and a run at old Mrs. H.'s, when
lo ! to my utter dismay, just as my hand was
about to claim old acquaintanceship with the
cold iron, I found myself pulled into the hall
with no slight force, and from thence as quietly
escorted to the parlour, for an optical scrutiny
36 REMINISCENCES
»
by aid of candle ; where I soon found, to my
annoyance, that my captor or captoress, was the
dame herself, a large powerful woman, and fol-
lowed by her body guard, the cook and cham-
ber-maid, to witness my capture as well as dis-
comfiture. In this durance vile, I cannot com*
pare myself, in any better simile, than to that of
a shrimp in the claws of a lobster. After a se-
vere lecture, admonitory of the future, a promise
on my part never to do so again, (though with
the full determination to take the first opportu-
nity of having my revenge), and having pro-
pitiated the good old lady by going down on
my marrows, 1 was released from my imprison*
ment. With all my spirit of revenge during
the time of my incarceration, I never could
screw up courage to knock at the door again,
therefore I was as good as my word. I kept
my promise.
The mention of Dames, recalls to my memory
a little affair which was very annoying at the
time to one of them, a Mrs. Y., who lived not
OP AN ETONIAN. 37
very far from the Christopher. She was what
is termed a regular pincher, an Elwesian lady,
and such not being relished by the boys who
were under her care, they determined to brozier
her, an Eton phrase for eating up every morsel
of the dinner, and according to the language at
Cambridge, preached a ClerumJ* It was soon
accomplished, and the old lady, finding that all
her scanty store had vanished, was compelled
to send for a supply of chops, to make up the
deficiency. But that would not do : more was
called for, and though often told, " Sir, you
have not picked your bones clean," it would
not do. The consequence was, that her patience
was exhausted, and she laid a complaint before
the head master, Dr. H», who, I presume, from
a previous knowledge of her parsimonious cha-
racter, only lectured the gormandising culprits,
and omitted the punishment due to them from
having fallen under the old lady's displeasure.
This was the only instance in which I can re-
* A Latin Sermon previous to taking; a Doctor's degree.
38 REMINISCENCES
collect castigation not following on the heels of
complaint.
They certainly were rare eaters, as a boy
once construed in school, Tempus edax return —
time is a rare eater.* At any rate it is a very
unjust thing to stint the boys in regard to plenty
of wholesome food ; as they are well paid for
their sustenance, and in a few years are enabled,
by prudence without parsimony, to amass a
sufficiency to retire in comfort. In short, from
the general respectability of the ladies who su-
perintend the Boarding-houses at Eton, such a
thing seldom occurs. I think I may state that
Mrs. Y. was almost a solitary instance in that
particular.
* This reminds me of an anecdote which occurred at the
great School at Reading many years since. On the clock in the
school room, the maker had placed, as a motto, Tempus Jugit.
An Indian nabob who had been educated there, but perhaps
lost all his latin among the heats of India, in travelling through
Reading on his return from abroad, had a desire to see the old
school room. His desire having been gratified, he cast his
eyes on the motto of the clock, and immediately exclaimed,
" Ah! there is my old friend Tom Fudgit" >A specimen f
his Latinity.
OF AN ETONIAN. 39
At my own Dames, the excellent Mrs. Hun-
ters, we fared excellently well : on the Sunday
our usual dinner was a boiled round of beef,
roast chickens, and plum puddings, and I do
not recollect that it was ever varied in any re*
spect.
40 REMINISCENCES
CHAPTER III.
Alas! regardless of their doom
The little victims play!
No sense have they of ills to come,
No care beyond to day.
Yet see how all around them wait,
The ministers of human fate,
And black misfortune's baleful train !
Ah ! shew them where in ambush stand
To seize their prey, the murderous band !
Gray* 8 Distant Prospect of
Eton College,
Within two or three years of my entrance
at Eton, a most unfortunate and truly pitiable
accident occurred to one of the lesser boys of
the school, and which created a great sensation
of sympathy among his schoolfellows, not mere*
ly from the agony which the poor little fellow
endured, but from the general love which was
entertained towards him, from his particularly
amiable disposition.
OF AN ETONIAN. 41
His name was G., and if I can recollect
aright, he was the son of the Russian Ambas-
sador.
Living as Etonians do under the immediate
wing of Royalty, they have always, as a body
of youth, been attached to their King and the
Constitution of the land ; and of course being
enemies to those who would endeavour to sub-
vert and destroy the kingly power, they have
always participated in the customary fun of the
fifth of November, by shewing their abhorrence
of popery, and all their knavish tricks, in burn-
ing Guy Fawkes's " effigy," and demonstrat-
ing their joy with as much noise, as squibs and
crackers would produce.
Poor G., inter tot multos, had filled his
pockets with what proved to him the instru-
ments of death, to enjoy the frolics of the even-
ing, when Lord C, now the Marquis of S.,
in all the mirth and happiness then predomi-
nant, unfortunately squibbed, as it is called,
poor G. Some of the fireworks, which were
42 REMINISCENCES
in his pockets, immediately ignited, which com-
municating to the rest their deadly errand,
exploded, and literally tore off a portion of the
flesh from his bones. The poor fellow's screams
were dreadful, and he died within a short time
afterwards.
This sad affair threw a gloom over us for a
long time : sports were almost forgotten : and
more particularly when the day came for his
burial, the awe of which was strongly augment-
ed, by the solemnity with which the Funeral
Service, (that most beautiful and sublime selec-
tion of prayers), was read by the Head Master.
I think I may with truth aver, that among our
whole body of upwards of five hundred boys,
not a dry eye was to be seen.
To my dying day, I shall never forget the
impression made on myself, when, with a trem-
bling anticipation of the approaching procession,
I heard the first words, " I am the resurrection
and the life," and then, as by degrees the fu-
neral procession wound up the church stairs,
I
•4
i ■
\
\
OF AN ETONIAN. 43
and at length the sky-blue coffin broke upon
my sight, I could scarcely command my feel-
ings, so as not to have fainted* A schoolfellow,
one with whom, but a few days before, I had
flayed, was for ever removed, and nought but
earth remained.
It was a long time before Lord C, who was
the innocent cause of his death, recovered from
die melancholy into which he was plunged
by this untoward circumstance. Poor G.'s
sorrowing parents (he was, I believe, an only
son), immediately returned to Russia in conse-
quence.
One of the favourite games among Etonians,
is that of football,* a game which requires a
great deal of activity and spirit, and is frequent-
ly the occasion of many a battle, from the vio-
lence with which it is played : and where an
opportunity is too often taken, of wreaking a
* Made by old Stringuall, in my day, celebrated for being 1
such a long-winded old fellow, in tightening the bladder of the
football with his mouth, (by means of a piece of tobacco pipe),
which was covered with leather.
44 REMINISCENCES
spite on the shin of another, to whom you have
no particular favour.
Once in my own case, I recollect, a boy, with
#hom I was daggers drawn, and somewhat
my superior in age, was opposed to me in ttfe
game. I was going away with the ball in style
towards the goal, a large tree, when I was op-
posed by this other boy, who determined, I sup-
pose, to stop me in my career. He struck, as
he pretended, at the ball, but most maliciously,
as well as judiciously, gave me an exceedingly
violent blow on the shin, which laid it open, and
floored, or rather grassed, me ; I was confined
for upwards of a week at my Dames.
Whenever any disputes arise among the boys,
after four is the time generally appointed for
settling the question of supremacy. But a
quarrel having originated between a Colleger
and an Oppidan, much his superior in size and
strength, it was so managed between the se-
conds, that the morning of a whole holiday
should be selected, as giving more time for de-
ciding the .superiority of the antagonists.
OF AN ETONIAN. 45
It was well known, as had been previously
proved, that the Colleger was game, and would
not very soon call out "I yield" It may per-
haps be as well, in this place, to mention, that a
kind of rivalry generally existed between Col-
legers and Oppidans. I can scarcely account
for the feeling, but that such was the case in my
time, was pretty certain : it is now, I believe and
hope, subsiding.
Owing to Collegers having nothing else but
roasted mutton for their dinner and supper, the
Oppidans applied to them the name of Tug
Muttons ; but woe to him who dared to use that
term, indicatory of reproach, if an upper Col-
leger heard him — he had no mercy shewn him.
But to our combatants.
Bets to a large amount for boys' pockets, were
made on the occasion. It was, in our little com-
monwealth, something like the battle of the
Horatii and the Curatii, (only that our heroes
were single on each side), it was to decide
which were to be the superior. The two heroes,
46 REMINISCENCES
(and they justified my term by their courage),
came into the arena at six. All due prelimi-
naries having been adjusted, they set to, and
after continued hard fighting, they were just as
forward as when they began. Such was their
obstinacy, that neither would yield, though
cruelly beaten. Nor was it until the Head Mas-
ter, having been apprised of what was going
forward, made his appearance, and with his
potent authority separated the combatants. This
battle was long remembered, and was of nearly
three hour's duration. Battles are an every
day occurrence. A mere look is sometimes con-
strued into impertinence, and the demand made,
whether such a one intended to be impertinent?
If assented to, (though not in the first place
thought of), but merely from a spirit of oppo-
sition, a battle takes place.
It is very seldom that any thing serious oc-
curs, yet I observed a few years since, in the
year 1825, the death of the Hon. F. Ashley
Cooper, son of the Earl of Shaftsbury, after a
pugilistic combat with his schoolfellow.
OF AN ETONIAN. 47
This is a thing of very rare occurrence, and
considering the variety of dispositions, the great
number of boys congregated together, we can-
not be surprised at an accident happening, which
it has, nevertheless, seldom fallen to the lot of
Etonians to record. In short, if I recollect
aright, this young nobleman's death was occa-
sioned by his head falling on a stone in the
school yard, the battle having taken place there,
instead of the usual resort of combat, the Play-
ing Fields.
I cannot consider the game of football as be-
ing at all gentlemanly. It is a game which the
common people of Yorkshire are particularly
partial to, the tips of their shoes being heavily
shod with iron ; and frequently death has been
known to ensue from the severity of the blows
inflicted thereby.
Another amusement, that of cricket, one of
the most scientific and manly sports, is that in
which Etonians are particularly adept : no club,
no school, being able to say, with any degree of
j
i
48 REMINISCENCES.
justice, that they can conquer them. That, and
Rowing, in the round of athletic amusements,
Eton all the world over. A match which took
place while I was there, caused a great deal of
talk at the time in the sporting world, and raised
the boy who was the principal actor in it, to
almost that of an idol, among hisfelloic-workm
men.
To prove and determine the evident superi-
ority of Etonians above all other schools in die
cricketing field, the Marylebone club, the great
arbiter of the Bat, Ball, and Stumps, challeng-
ed our boys to a trial of skill.
The Playing Fields, on the news being pro-
claimed, that a match was to take place, became
the scene of more than its wonted bustle and
activity. The whole hive were on the qui vive,
the sawnies, who would rather have been at
their books, or taking some meditative strolls,
were fagged to fetch the balls, stop behind, and
various drudgeries not much to their amuse-
ment. As to losing a quarter of an hour to
OF AN ETONIAN. 49
drink tea after six, either the Oppidan at his
Dames, or the Colleger at his rooms up town,
no, the fags must make it and bring it in bottles
on the ground.
The day of joy and hope, and a holiday of
course selected for die occasion, all was visible
delight : the sawnies even, and the bookworms,
could not help taking some pleasure in the
wished-for success of the day — and that day
was a glorious one : it was one of the Almighty's
most beautiful of the creation — it was a cricket
day ; one in which that noble game is enjoyed
to perfection, when not a cloud obscures the
sky.
The tents as usual were erected in the Shoot-
ing Fields, the wickets were pitched, and the
Marylebone having gained the toss, went in first.
At the second ball from my friend P. down
went a wicket. The spirit which usually per-
vades the breasts of Etonians, (though longing
to shout forth their joy at the downfall of their
adversary), was pent up : it was only the silent
G
50 REMINISCENCES
language of the eye, or the smile that decked
their countenances. The gentlemen of the Mary-
lebone club were our visitors, therefore no ex-
ultation during the progress of the game, would
have been considered as correct, or fitting the
characters of gentlemen. In short, the bales
struck off by my friend P., flew into the air,
aided by the scientific stumping of my poor
friend Jack S., now gone to his last home.
The Marylebone were out. The number they
scored were few. Our principal batsman, Sir
Christopher W., went in first, and from a system
of beautiful blocking, he not only wearied out
the skill, and even tne patience of his adversaries,
but he staid in to the very last : nor was he then
out. Eton nearly doubled that of their adver-
saries in the first innings. One of the bowlers
on the other side, somewhat annoyed at the in-
cessant blocking of his excellent balls, could
not help saying, though a little too loud for Sir
Christopher's ear, " D — n the fellow, there is
no getting hitn out." Upon which, with the
OF AN ETONIAN. 51
greatest mildness, he answered him, " You need
not d — n me though, for you will not get me
out a bit thesooner, I assure you ; and now, Sir,
bowl on again, if you please."
After the refreshment of dinner, provided by
our old friend Garraway, the respected landlord
of the Christopher Inn, at Eton, the friendly
strife was again renewed. Play was the word,
and the Marylebone fetched up their lost notches
and marked a most respectable score besides.
At the conclusion of their innings, it was con-
sidered too late in the evening for Eton to go
in, the match was therefore postponed until the
following day.
Again our hero Sir Christopher began the
innings, and continued it until a sufficiency of
notches were gained to make us the conquerors
of the first club in England, and that in a great
measure, from the admirable batting of the
young baronet. The scene is now as fresh to
my memory, as when heated with the exercise
of the game, and followed by the applause of
52 REMINISCENCES
the remainder of the eleven, (the rest being in
school), Sir C. made his appearance in the
Upper School. For the time all construing
ceased, and our Head Master greeted the mod-
est Sir Christopher with language savouring of
the greatest delight. He might have applied to
him the words of Cicero to the conspirator Ca-
tiline, (though not in the language of reproach,
but of admiration), in te omnium convertuntur
oculi : the eyes of all were indeed upon him,
but they were those of the highest pleasure.
Thus ended the long talked of match. I be-
lieve, in his own boyish days, our respected head
master had played no indifferent part in the
field of cricket ; at any rate he used always to
be much interested in its progress, and encour-
aged the practice of it, by having absence call-
ed in the Playing-fields during the summer, in
order that the boys might not be taken away
from their play, to answer to their names being
called in the school yard.
Among those whom I recollect as being par-
OF AN ETONIAN. 53
tial to that manly game, and who was at the
same Dames with me, is the present Lord S.,
of L. Court, in the county of Kent : a noble-
man in whom nearly every virtue that can adorn
the man, is truly conspicuous : who yearly in-
dulges his friends, and the neighbouring gentry,
with that amusement in his beautiful park,
where the hospitality of an English nobleman
presides, over the whole — a nobleman liberal to
the poor in his neighbourhood, and ever ready
to relieve distress. Of his kindness, the author
of these Reminiscences has received convincing
proofs, and he hesitates not, with gratitude, here
to make the acknowledgement. So much for
Cricket.
54 REMINISCENCES
CHAPTER IV.
My gay competitors, noble as I»
Raced for oar pleasure in the pride of strength,
While the lair populace of crowding beauties,
Plebeian as patrician, cheered us on
With dazzling smiles, and wishes audible,
And waving 'kerchiefe, and applauding hands
Even to the goal.
Byron's Two Potcari.
I will now turn the attention of my readers
to a different element for amusement* Water
shall be my theme, for in it and on it, Etonians
shine. Mostly speaking, they are excellent
swimmers, and frequently display their skill in
the art, by leaping, head foremost, from the top
of Windsor Bridge, or according to an Eton
phrase, taking headers. Sometimes also by
swimming from the Upper Hope, through
OF AN ETONIAN. 55
Windsor Bridge, down to Cotton's Hole, a
distance, I should think, little less, if any,
than threemiles. That I have known repeat-
edly done.
As Fishers, they are excellent, particularly
one of them, by name Tom H., with gut and
hooks twisted round his hat ; could I put words
into the mouth of the Cobler,* or the Shallows,
where Scaggersf abound, would sufficiently
testify ; those places being noted for trout, as
well as sometimes salmon trout. Fellow's Ayot
would also come in as a witness to what 1 as-
sert, in respect to the number of barbel caught
at its point by the boys.
On the broad bosom of the Thames, the oars
of Eton have often gained the prize ; and but
a few weeks since, I with pleasure observed,
that the gentlemen of Westminster School have
again been compelled to yield the meed of hon-
* The Cobler is a stone projection in the Thames, below Wind-
sor Bridge separating the main river from the locks,
t Scaggers, a small kind of trout, peculiar to the Thames.
56 REMINISCENCES
our to their usually hitherto superior adversa-
ries in the art of rowing.
The Fourth of June has been, for more than
half a century, a day of joyful anticipation to
the boys, it being the birth-day of our late
beloved monarch, George II F. For months
previous, on every Saturday evening, it was the
custom to practice in the several boats appoint-
ed to row to Surly Hall, on that day of festivity
to a delighted nation.
At this spot a handsome supper was prepar-
ed for the boys under the shade of some fine
trees ; and which rural fete, was often honour-
ed by the presence of some of the Royal Family,
and a numerous assemblage of rank and fashion,
delighted to observe the rapidity, with which
the several viands made their exit. His Ma-
jesty used to grant the use of his Band, which
was a most powerful auxiliary to the pleasures
of the evening.
The alloted boats, with their envied crews
neatly apparelled in fanciful dresses, proceeded
OF AN ETONIAN. 57
to this place, which is situated not far from
Monkey Island, where, having partaken of the
various viands, as before mentioned, again em-
barked on their return for Windsor Bridge, the
principal goal of their exertions.
Among the dresses of the boats' crews, was
one which excited the most general admiration.
It belonged to the foremost ten-oared boat, and
was in the costume of Turkish Galley Slaves ;
and what gave an additional charm, particu-
larly in the eyes of the ladies, was, that they
were all selected for their beauty — it was a most
decided hit
Had I die pen of a ready writer, I would en-
deavour to describe the emulation of the dif-
ferent rowers, the eager endeavour to pass the
foremost boat, and snatch from her the honour
of the distinguished superiority ; but futile was
the attempt : the boat containing the Ottoman
crew, chained to their oars throughout the whole
evening, kept its place as Admiral of the Fleet.
Had I the pen of a ready writer, I would en-
H
58 REMINISCENCES.
deavour to depict the shores lined with specta-
tors,
The busy sounds, the bustle of the shore,
The shout, the signal, and the dashing oar.
The royal cortege on the bridge, the delightful
echoes of the various instruments, floating in
harmonic cadences along the rapid waters ; the
rushing flight of the rockets, the innumerable
fireworks displayed on Piper's Ayot, casting
their resplendent glare on the stream of our fa-
voured river ; the deafening shouts of the popu-
lace, or the high-pitched voices of the crew of
that boat, which had the misfortune to be bump-
ed, (an Eton phrase for one boat being struck
on the stern by the prow of the one succeeding
it), and which generally terminated in chal-
lenges for mortal combat on the following Mon-
day. And last of all this picture of happiness
was heightened by the distant view of the tur-
reted grandeur of Windsor's lofty castle, giv-
ing the coup de grace to the beauty of the
scene.
OF AN ETONIAN. 59
These were indeed days of envied joys ; days
in which often originated the desire in the youth-
ful bosom, that on a more stormy wave, (than
that of Father Thames), where the fury of the
battle raged, he might encounter the enemies of
his country ; aud those wishes have been often
realised, and with honour have they been
crowned.
Among my schoolfellows was Horace N. (now
alas ! gone to his fathers), the nephew of him
whom this land, grateful for his services, dis-
tinguished by the title of Immortal, from the
noble, daring, and subsequent success of his
deeds. Well do I recollect the morning, when,
from information transmitted to the Head Master,
poor N. was called up to him, and in a kind and
delicate manner, was informed of the untoward
event, by which he was deprived of his uncle
at the celebrated battle of Trafalgar : and though
the tears were visible in his eyes, still was there
lurking in his countenance a smile of delight,
00 REMINISCENCES
at the greatest victory ever gained by this couu-
try in her naval engagements.
These are Reminiscences, and I trust they
will be received as such by my readers, for they
are the words of truth. The aid of fiction is
not here called in— every thing I relate, (with
but one exception), I was an eye witness to, and
often an active agent in their execution.
One of the many pleasures which we derived
from our contiguity to the royal residence, was
the frequent opportunity which we obtained of
seeing our beloved Monarch, who was much
attached to stag-hunting ; and as one of the fa-
vourite places, where the swift-footed tenant of
the Great Park was thrown off, was between
Slough and Langley Broom, it mostly happened
that he was taken through Eton : the appearance
of the green covered cart about nine o'clock,
was certaiu evidence that we should see the
King previous to eleven : a conclusion in
which we were never disappointed, while be
OP AN ETONIAN. 61
was in good health, and resident at the Cas-
tle.
Seated on Longwalk wall,* (where by the bye
my name is cut oat in glorious large letters
nearly opposite the Church door), we awaited
his approach. He was generally preceded by old
Davis, the huntsman, with the Staghounds, nor
was he long behind, escorted by his attendants,
master of the hounds, and some of the neigh-
bouring gentry : Sometimes he was also attend-
ed by that beloved daughter,! whose death he
so deeply lamented.
Here with hat in hand we greeted his arrival :
nor do I ever recollect any time when he did
not stop, to ask various questions of those who
had the good fortune to attract his attention —
mostly some of the young nobility, with whose
parents his Majesty was acquainted, and whom,
if once introduced to him, his peculiarly reten-
' tive memory never allowed him to forget.
' * A long wall in front of the School,
j f The Princess Amelia.
I
62 REMINISCENCES
" Well, well, my boy, when were you flog-
ged last, Eh, Eh ? Your master is very kind to
you all, is not he ? Have you had any rebel-
lions lately, Eh, Eh ¥ Naughty boys you know
sometimes. Should not you like to have a ho-
liday, if 1 hear a good character of you, Eh, Eh ?
Well, well, we will see about it — But be good
boys. Who is to have the Montem this year V 9
" Such a one your Majesty." " Lucky fellow,
lucky fellow."
This was a general topic of conversation dur-
ing the day ; and though one of such frequent
occurrence, nay almost every week during the
huntiug season, still was it always attended with
delight, and the anticipation of something good
to follow from it.
It was amusing to hear the various remarks
made by some of the boys who happened not to
have been present at the time of the Royal Ca-
valcade passing, and who of course were anxi-
ous to have the reports of what had occurred.
" Well, what did old George say ? Did he say
OF AN ETONIAN. 63
that be would ask for a holiday for us ? By
Jove I hope that he will, for I want to ride Ste-
ven's new che&mit to Egham." " You be hang-
ed," says another, " 1 want to go to Langley to
see my Aunt, who has promised to give me
Syllabubs, the first after four, that I can go."
Another perhaps wanted to have Davis's Tandem
to drive to Virginia water, a favourite excursion
with the boys.
Such and the like expectations of holiday hap-
piness, were as often anticipated and frequently
realised, by the ride of England's Monarch,
through the town of Eton.
I believe few of our Melton Mowbray men
would have liked to have followed the Stag
hounds, when his Majesty was with them : as
he never rode fast, and of course it was the eti-
quette, that no one should ride before the King.
When I was in the sixth form as the walking
Prapostor, I frequently have had a gallop with
them, and once I recollect being witness to a
very fine sight — the stag at bay in a pond on
64 REMINISCENCES
Datchet Common. He wounded three or four
of the dogs, but was eventually secured without
being materially hurt by the hounds. Among
the stags selected for the royal sport, was one
noble fellow, which was dignified by the name
of the Hendon Deer, from his having been taken
after a very severe run to Hendon in Middle-
sex. Whenever it was known that this deer
was to be hunted, there was always a very
large field. In short, he was as renowned in
the field, as our noble Arthur ; only that the
one was as quick in flying away from his ene-
mies, as the other was in pursuing them.
4
l
OF AN ETONIAN. 65
CHAPTER V.
The rude will scuffle through with ease enough,
Great Schools suit best the sturdy and the rough.
Coxcper's Tirocinium.
After a servitude of nearly five years, as a
Lower Oppidan, and during my apprenticeship
having become a tolerably good proficient in
the art of blacking shoes, cleaning knives, sharp-
ing a stray roll or two from another boy's room
for my master's breakfast, I got into the Fifth
Form, and at the same time was entered as a
Colleger, which term, in other words, is a pen-
sioner under King Henry the Sixth of blessed
memory,* Now began a very different life to
that which I had passed at my Dames, the ex-
cellent hearted Mrs. Hunter's.
• The Founder of Eton College, and King's College, Cam-
bridge.
I
y
66 REMINISCENCES
Many, many years have elapsed since the
good old lady resigned her life to her Maker,
but never, to the latest moment of my existence,
will I forget the genuine maternal kindness
which she displayed towards me, and other little
boys, which were under her care. Many and
oft is the time, when Lower Boy* has been call-
ed, that she has locked me up in a cupboard m
her parlour, to escape from the drudgery, and
at the same time sad annoyance of the Fagging
system.
Though I make this remark, I am not averse
to the plan, nor join in the outcry which has
been lately made against it at Winchester. If
it is so bad and so demoralizing to the charac-
ter of a gentleman's son, what, in the name of
Heaven, is it to be compared with the treatment
which a middy meets with in the cockpit, from
his brother middies, as well as from the senior
officers of the ship % His rations frequently
* The key-note of an upper boy when he wants a lower hoy
to fag for him.
OF AN ETONIAN. 67
prigged by a brother blue — cut down in the
dead of the night in his hammock— often mast-
headed for looking in a way that may be deem-
ed impertinent, by some tyrannical first lieu-
tenant — obliged to take his part in the regular
duty of the ship, by night as well as by day ;
and many disagreeable inconveniences attached
to the cockpit, which us landsmen know nought
about : and yet, when they come to man's es-
tate, are they at all the worse for their previous
hardships, or less the gentlemen ? For my own
part, and I speak with some little experience,
I think it is beneficial to a boy, for should he,
m after life, experience the fickleness of fortune,
he is able all the better to rough it.
Can any one say that, as a body, more gen-
tlemanly characters exist than officers of the
British navy, and I have had the pleasure of
being intimately acquainted with them. The
quarter deck of a man-of-war is no bad school
even for politeness. Of course to my assertion
there are exceptions, where some, from the na-
68 REMINISCENCES
tare of the service, have a little spice of the
Trunnion of old, and are more fitted to com*
mand a ship of war, than to enter the drawing-
room— of this description I certainly know
some. This fuss then about Fagging, I cer-
tainly consider to be something similar to the
name of one of our old English comedies, Much
ado about nothing.
I have here diverged a little from my entrance
into College, which was the beginning of a new
and different sort of life, to what is experienced
at the [>ames« There her watchful eye kept
tolerably good order, but when once entered
into Long Chamber, the captain is the arbiter
of your happiness or otherwise : though the other
Sixth Form boys, as well as the Liberty boys,
(like lieutenants and middies in a ship), have
great power over the Lower boys, yet make the
captain your friend, nothing is to be feared.
A few words in this place respecting Long
Chamber. From what I can now recollect, I
should think that it was nearly one hundred and
OF AN ETONIAN. <69
eighty feet long, though I may not be quite
correct in the length. On each side a range of
old oaken bedsteads, (the tenants for centuries
of this ancient dormitory), no sacking, and no
curtains, and between every bedstead a high
desk with a cupboard under for each boy — this
desk contains all that they have, or need re-
quire.
The leaf of a book torn off, doubled, and a
hole cut in the centre, forms the only candle-
stick which he has ; should he wish to read in
bed, the candle is removed from the above can*
dlestick, and claims affinity with the back of
the old bedstead by being stuck against it.
Should the drowsy god overtake the boy in his
nocturnal study in bed, and burn down to the
wood, no harm will accrue, as all the old bed-
steads will prove, being pretty well striped with
charcoal, evidences of the incumbustible nature
of the old oak, and he will not be long before
he awakes from the unpleasant smell of the
wood, or perhaps, what is more likely, by a
70* REMINISCENCES
good tweak of the nose from his next neigh-
bour.
A coarse cloth gown is the peculiar badge
and external form of being a Colleger. Woe
unto the boy that ever enters College with a
bad temper ; be it good or bad, it will at first
be tried by all manner of ways, disagreeable to
those who have not been accustomed to rough
usage — by degrees it will wear off: and I, as
having been one who saw some little of Long
Chamber tricks, will have the ingenuousness to
own, (excepting the period when I was in Carl-
ton Chamber), that I never partook of more
happiness, than when lying on my hard wooden
bedstead, fatigued with various sports, perhaps
from a little skirmishing with some Oppidans
at hoops, a favourite and healthy sport in the
autumn and winter season, in the school yard
and cloisters ; and in the exercise of which some
pretty hard blows arise : and when opposed to
each other, which is always the case, the Col-
leger, rather presumptuously, considers himself
OF AN ETONIAN. 71
equal to at least three Oppidans, something like
John Bull's estimate of his opposite neighbour's
fighting qualities.
It must be owned that the freaks of the upper
boys are somewhat annoying. Many and many
is the time, when writing at my desk, and my
exercise all but prepared for the scrutiny of the
head master on the following morning, that a
bolster, shaken down hard to one end, and
urged with a skilful hand, has sent my poor
candlestick flying on to my bed, and given to
my rug the benefit of its tallowy odour ; and
in addition to this, my ink bottle, at that moment
also overthrown by the same irresistible weapon,
making certain inroads of the river Niger over
my luckless exercise, equally as uncertain of
its source — or perhaps, should a boy be amus-
ing himself after he is locked up at half-past
eight, with a walk up and down chamber,
Nescio quid meditans nugarum, et totus in
UKs f he finds his head come in contact with the
old oaken floor, in a most sudden and unex-
/
/
72 REMINISCENCES
pected manner. This is effected by one of the
upper boys stealing from off one of the bed-
steads on which he has been sitting, and the mo-
ment the other has passed on, he comes behind
his victim, and with one fell swoop of the bol-
ster on the heels, down he goes. As to com-
plaining, that was out of the question — it was
the chance of war.
But this was trifling when compared with
others, which I have known some poor fellows
to undergo, and what was very far from agree*
able to the sense of feeling — that of being, in
the middle of the night, awakened by finding a
cy rope fastened to your great toe, and, having
been assisted by some officious friend out of
bed in the dark, and at the same time kept by
him from falling, ran up, as the sailor would
term it, the whole length of Long Chamber and
back again, and then thrown on your bed, the
noose whipped off, and then to sleep with what
appetite you may. You afterwards perceive,
when left to your meditations, that the rope has
OF AN ETONIAN. 73
been rather too fond of your toe, and a painful
soreness follows your nocturnal wandering.
That ordeal I had the good fortune to escape,
though I was aware that I was booked for it.
If a whispering was heard, after all the lights
were put out, it was then pretty certain that
something was afloat ; and as it was utterly im-
possible to know who was to suffer, the only
way, supposing it was yourself, was to move
quietly out of bed, put your rug up to the bol-
ster as if you had not been there, and then
creep under three or four bedsteads at a dis-
tance from your own, and there lie perdu, until
this tyranny be over past.
Another species of fun (like the log to the
frogs, fun on one side and death to the other),
or kick-shin annoyance, was put into practice
on your entrance to a particular part of the
school, equally as agreeable to the tiroes, as
Neptune's visit to those who had never before
crossed the line — 1 mean what is termed being
put into play.
74 REMINISCENCES
I will explain it. Around one of the large
fireplaces in Long Chamber, two bedsteads are
placed close together on each side, and two at
the end, making a tolerable sized square. The
boy, who is put into play, is placed in one cor-
ner, next to the captain, a certain number of
the elite, or head boys, being seated around on
the bedsteads. At a given signal, the captain
starts him with a kick of no slight nature, which
generally sends him to the opposite side, from
thence he makes a return, quite as expeditious
ly : backwards and forwards he goes, like a shut-
tlecock, with this difference, that the one is com-
posed of cork and feathers and no feeling, and
he is made of flesh and blood, being very sen-
sitive.
After a reasonable, or to speak more correctly,
an unreasonable time, when he has been pretty
well bandied about, with some few bruises be-
ginning to make theirappearauce, he is permitted
to make his way through the hostile phalanx,
and clear the bedsteads, leaving his place to be
OF AN ETONIAN. 75
taken by another, who has been a shivering
spectator of number one's amusement : some*
thing in the style of a Portuguese execution of
traitors, where each has to await the death of
the other, and be the unwilling spectator of
their sufferings.
This is denominated Play, though the next
morning a certain stiffness generally accom-
panies his waking hours. But it is only once,
soon over, soon forgotten ; though previous to
it often thought of with dread—- and the worst
of it all is, that unlike to a freshman's entrance
to Neptune's dominions, (who can be appeased
by a gallon of rum), here there is no remission :
no bribery allowed : no outward semblance of a
Grampounder — all are intent on giving him a
benefit. Still with all these essentials necessary
to your degree as a Colleger, I would prefer
that life, had I the option as a boy, to that of
the Oppidan : though both are agreeable, still
there is more of life in the former.
76 REMINISCENCES.
CHAPTER VI.
Their wild excursions, and window-breaking feats,
Bobbery of gardens, quarrels4n the streets,
Their hair breadth 'scapes, and all ttefr daring schemes,
Transport torn, and are made ttef r Jaronrite themes.
CowperU Tirocinium,
Somewhat of a curious circumstance occur-
red in College, but in which I had no hand,
nor in any degree participated in the sweets of
it. A sow, very near her accouchement, had
been observed by the boys feeding in Western's
Yard, close to the dormitory; when a most
mischievous thought occurred, that she might
be made useful to some of the community— the
thought was no sooner devised, than means as
speedily used to put it in execution : a few choice
spirits, ever active for any sport, were soon en-
OF AN ETONIAN. 77
listed, and the plan laid before them. One boy
was directed to keep the animal, (without any
apparent intention of so doing), feeding in a
particular corner until dark.
The scheme succeeded admirably : by throw-
ing one of their cloth gowns oyer the old lady's
snout, to obscure her vision, as well as to con-
fine her squeaking trumpet from giving too
much tongue, immediately, by the exertions of
four stout boys, and no easy matter either, she
was landed on the top of a tower attached to
Long Chamber: here she was regularly fed
until some little piggy wiggies came to light ;
which, as soon as they were considered to be of
sufficient age, dangled before the fire in Cham-
ber, and afforded the captors delicious suppers,
the pleasure of course enhanced by the pota-
tions which Johnny Bear* brought from the
• A well-known character in my day, paid weekly by a cer-
tain number of the boys, as a carrier of eatables and drink-
ables, after we were locked up at half-past eight ; of course not
allowed by the College ; though well known, yet winked at by
-the authorities, id ert, the Head Master.
78 REMINISCENCES
Christopher Inn, and received through the bars
of Lower Chamber window, the usual receiving
room of all smuggled goods, it being on the
ground floor, and adjoining the school yard.
As soon as the young fry had all paid the
forfeit of their lives, for venturing to make their
appearance within the precincts of the tower,
(no court martial being requisite, but like spies,
hanged without trial), the mamma was sent
about her business to seek her old quarters,
minus offspring ; and I have little hesitation in
saying, that had her swinish ladyship ventured
again to have visited our royal domains, in the
same enceinte condition, all circumstances al-
lowing, the result would have been the same.
Not only young pigs, but almost any other de-
scription of live stock would have stood a bad
chance, more particularly when it is considered
what was the College allowance for a number
of hungry boys, not according, I believe, to the
intention of King Henry.
OF AN ETONIAN. 79
A loin of mutton,* or a leg, was between
eight boys, a shoulder also : and a neck be-
tween four : and when it is further considered,
that all these joints, never boiled, (except by
paying C. the cook for so doing), but con-
stantly roasted almost to a chip, the dripping
being his perquisite, and a good thing he made
of it, for he took especial care to squeeze the
most out of it for his own benefit ; considering
these things, together with the mutton being of
the small South-Down breed, it may not be
very wonderful, at any thing in the shape of
eatables not coming amiss.
The above piggish trick, though savouring
some little of the felonious, or forcible abduction,
was no bad specimen of an Etonian trick.: but
another that was undertaken, was, I believe, an
actual felony : the two actors in it being dead,
I do not at all hesitate to relate it, their names
* These things are altered now through the inquiries of Mr.
Brougham (now Lord Chancellor) into public charities, and a
greater allowance given.
80 REMINISCENCES
of course being, sub nube : in short, I do not
know whether I might not have been termed an
accessory to the fact : I am certain of this one
thing, that it caused in me, no slight sensation
of alarm.
About one o'clock in the morning, having
previously been preparing my verses for die
morrow, I had gone to a remote room, at the
end of Long Chamber, called Phorica, the
Greek word being Latinized. It had no glazed
windows, iron bars taking the place of glass;
a part of it was appointed for the reception of
the logs to be burnt in Carter's Chamber, (to
which I then belonged), when on a sudden, in
tumbled some very large carp, tench, and I
think eels : but I was so terrified at being sa-
luted by the entrance of the scaly gentry, think*
ing that it was some satanic trick at that mid*
night hour, that without stopping to inquire
into the cause of my alarm, I made a most pre-
cipitate retreat to bed.
The next morning I discovered it all: for
OF AN ETONIAN. 81
they were trophies not to be concealed, but
were shewn with evident marks of exultation at
their success, by the two boys above alluded to.
It seems that in some of their daily walks,
they had found out that there was a constant
supply of fine fish, preserved in the well of one
ofthe punts, in the pond situated in Mr. Botham's
garden, at Salthill : and under the supposition
that they might just as well be cooked in a plain
homely way in Long Chamber <, or at Mrs. Wid-
more's, as be served up with rich sauces by the
landlord of the Windmill Inn, to his various
guests, they determined on making the attempt.
After prayers at half-past eight, an iron bar,
which had been sawn through immediately un-
der the cross one, being removed, as well as the
lead from the stone which received the bottom
part of the bar, out sallied our adventurers,
and made their descent by a rope-ladder down
to the pump in Western's Yard, which was di-
rectly under the window — from thence their
further progress was easy enough.
82 RBMIMSCBIICES
I can well recollect it being a very dark and
tempestuous night, which aided their scheme
materially : in short, every thing succeeded to
their wishes, and they convoyed their prizes
home, as above described, without any inter-
ruption.
These, and other acts of juvenile daring, if
they had not ended in an excursion to Botany
Bay, (detection taking place), would most cer-
tainly in a good flogging, often created that
relish for adventures of a nobler kind, which
was fully proved by the deeds of many who
fought and bled on the continent— -one of these
marauders fell at die battle of Waterloo. Many
gallant heroes of the Peninsular war were Eto-
nians, the head and front of all the noble Wel-
lington.
Among other instances of predatory excur-
sions, one took place which was the cause of
much conversation, even beyond the bounds of
the school, for it made its way into die highest
circles, shook the sides of our good old George,
OF AN ETONIAN. 83
and is often mentioned, with the greatest glee,
by the uncle of the boy, who is a gentleman of
immense property and political influence, and
a scientific agriculturalist in the county of Nor-
folk. It was a feat well deserving of his uncle's
praise.
It seems that the royal domain could not be
preserved inviolate from invasion. To forage
in an enemy's country is pardonable, but for a
friend's territory to be poached upon, was almost
too bad : the only excuse to be made is, that
the temptation was too powerful to be resisted.
The Little Park at Windsor abounded with
hares ; these had been often seen by the boys,
and one, whose name began with C, was de-
termined upon nine parts of the law, possession
of one of these said hares. Having provided
himself with a gun and boat, and another boy
to take care of it, and having arrived pretty
close to the place previously reconnoitred, C.
made for the park wall, which is within a few
84 REMINISCENCES
yards of the Thames, opposite to the Oak Tree,
near the Shooting Fields.
Leaving his shipmate to look out for squalls
in the shape of keepers, he mounted the wall,
and a poor unfortunate pussey happening to be
sitting most accommodatingly for a display of
his skill, it is needless for me to add, that hav-
ing been pretty well trained at home among the
finest preserves in England, that she tumbled
over : down he jumped to pick her up— at the
same moment, a short-jacketed fellow, whom
the report of the gun had roused from his lair,
was observed making towards him with all pos-
sible despatch. Not a moment was to be lost ;
and, heedless of the vociferations of the keeper,
be threw the hare over the wall, at the same
time intimating to the other boy, that an enemy
was in sight. He soon followed his victim, but
lo ! to his dismay, he saw his confederate pull-
ing across as hard as he could, alarmed at the
idea of being detained by the keeper, and leaving
comrade to make the best of his way as he
OF AN ETONIAN. 85
could : we cannot bestow much commendation
on his poltroonery. What now was to be done
by C. % Although it was a flood water at the
time, and the stream very rapid, he did not
give much hesitation upon the subject, but dis-
missing his gun to a cold bath, he at once jump-
ed into the river, and with the hare in his mouth,
by dint of great experience in swimming and a
natural courage, he readied the other side in
safety, with the trophy of his daring.
A short time subsequent to this, a boy, by
some ill luck, after having killed a brace of
pheasants, was nabbed by the head keeper, and
conveyed to his house in the park, where he
was kept in durance vile. Some little degree
of animosity, it is supposed, was rankling with-
in him, owing to the escape of the previous
swimming marauder : at any rate there he was
detained, and a message sent to the head master
stating the cause of his detension — also a com*
munication was made to no less a person than
his most gracious majesty*
89 . REMINISCENCES
I believe old George was a little offended at
first, but he soon recovered his usual kindness,
and after ordering the boy to be detained all
night, (as a memento not to offend again,) and
be well fed, he was dismissed with a note to the
head master, requesting that he should not be
punished this time, it being his first fault.
A few pages back, I mentioned the Oak
Tree— -one of the fashionable places of resort
for bathing to the boys • more particularly for
the Lingers, alias Collegers. At that very spot
a circumstance occurred which will always
keep the remembrance of the oak tree in my
mind, for I was as near finishing my career as
an Etonian at that spot, and of being precluded
from giving my Reminiscences to the public,
as any one who would desire to go out of the
world in a tolerably comfortable method.
On the river Thames, a species of flat-bottom-
ed boat is used, called Punt, usually adapted
for the purpose of fishing, having a well about
OF AN ETONIAN. . 87
two thirds down the length of the boat, to pre-
serve the fish alive, which may be taken, for an
almost indefinite time, as a constant supply
of fresh water runs through the well before-
named.
Being particularly fond of boating, and no
bad manager in punting, (which I have proved
by punting up to the Weir, a most sharp and
difficult stream as all Etonians know), which
is performed by going to the head of the boat,
and placing a pole in the water, retaining the
hold of the pole, all the time you run down to
the stem, and then again ascend to the head.
On the occasion I am mentioning, in running up
again to the head of the boat, either from my
presumption of being a good punter, and there-
by perfectly careless, or I know not what, but
like the person who, in mixing his brandy and
water, took a drop too much, I, from looking
at some boys on the bank preparing for bath-
ing, took a step too many, and over I went.
88 REMINISCENCES
On the particular spot where I fell over was
a sand bank, and between that and the land,
deep water : there was just room enough for
me to lie on my back, under this most unplea-
sant boat; and there I did lie, and no very
comfortable birth I had of it — the water pour-
ing into my mouth — the boat pressing me down
and the thoughts of death coming upon me.
Still I could distinctly hear the vehement ex-
clamations of the boys, telling the one that was
in the boat how to act, and push her off. At
length, when all perception was nearly gone,
and I was pretty well saturated with Father
Thames, (though not acting the part of a father),
I was extricated from my perilous situation, by
the drifting of the boat from off me, and I never
wish to be in the same situation again.
I understood that my face bore a most par-
ticular resemblance, in regard to colour, to my
hat; and for a long time the Oak Tree, the
scene of my disaster, haunted me every night
OF AN ETONIAN. 89
I could not efface it from my mind, but that
the said punt was on my chest, which corn-
pletely usurped the place of any common night-
mare, which has the fashionable name of Indi-
gestion.
90 REMINISCENCES
CHAPTER VII.
Je n'ai jaimais rien vu de si mechant que ce maurais vieil-
lard j et je pense j sans correction, qu'il a le diable au corps.
IS Avar e de Moliere.
Among those to whom the vicinity of Eton
Col lege was somewhat annoy ing, though a source
of profit in other instances, was a man who rent-
ed the water near Windsor for a considerable
distance, cognomine P., familiarly termed by us,
old Johnny P. By the sale of eels, as well as
other freshwater fish, he made a considerable
sum, vast numbers of which were caught in
eel-pots, certain long narrow baskets, which
allowed the Fish to enter for the bait enclosed
therein, but by a kind of internal Chevaux de
OF AN ETONIAN. 91
frize, entirely precluded them from making
their exit.
These wicker pots were laid down in various
parts of the river, with a reed fastened to each,
which 0oating just on the top of the water, de-
noted where a pot lay at anchor. Of course in
our peregrinations on the river, these reedy
buoys did not escape our eyes, long experienced
in the pursuit of such articles, and consequently,
if any fish were in them, they were soon emptied
into the boat.
It was always considered excellent sport to
do old Johnny, who was a man of considerable
wealth, and to whom the loss of a fish or two
was nothing, (except in the light in which a
miser would grudge the loss of the most trifling
coin) he being the principal, and scaly purveyor,
to the royal family, and the inhabitants of Eton
and Windsor. It would sometimes happen that
Johnny attended by his boy Fish, (a nickname
I believe) would come upon us unawares from
behind some Ayot, where like some Sallee
92 REMINISCENCE*
rover he had been watching for us in our ma-
rauding excursions, and then, it was a glorious
piece of fun, to see our poor old fisherman in
one of his tantarums.
He was a man of more than choleric disposi-
tion, and in the heat of his anger would belabour
poor Fish's head with the oar, for not pulling
faster on his side to overtake those rascally boys :
poor weaksighted mortal he little knew, that this
head slave of his was in the private pay of those
rascally boys, and in the hurry to obey his mast-
ers orders, would most innocently of course, lose
his oar, or catch a crab ; in short, any thing to
impede progress : and as the skiffs that were
hired, belonged to Charley C, his inveterate
rival, a man with a deficiency of one arm, of
equally irritable temper with himself, between
whom an incessant war of words was constantly
waged ; on that account therefore, poor Johnny
could not pursue the marauders into the ene-
my's fort, so that they generally escaped with
OF AN ETONIAN. 93
their fishes, dropping perhaps one, as if by ac-
cident, for Charley, as hush money.
The cause of this animosity between these two
river gods, arose I believe from some little jea-
lousy on Mr* Johnny P/s part. He had lived
at Eton all bis life, and had possessed the sole
letting out of the boats for many years. It is
certain that those boats were what we should
now call, in these days of reform and march of
intellect, little better than floating tubs.
Mr. Charles C, a speculating genius, whose
apprenticeship had been passed at Lambeth, the
fashionable place for building pleasure boats,
came down from thence, bringing with him some
beautiful skiffs, very light, and of course well
adapted for speed. With this almost fairy flo-
tilla, in comparison with what we had been ac-
customed to, Charley opposed old Johnny, and
while all of the new pigmy navy, for many days
bespoke beforehand, were constantly in com-
mission, the veteran tubs were put on the peace
establishment, and floated quietly at their moor-
94 REMINISCENCES
ings, thereby causing a great diminution of re*
venue to the old government, and undoubtedly,
a source of grievous vexation to Johnny.
It required not much skill on the part of the
rowers in these light skiffs, to leave Johnny and
his man Fish, when pursued by them : and as
every trifling thing is an annoyance to the man
at enmity with another, the words, the Fly, or
the Swift of Eton, Charles C, were displayed
in brilliant gilt letters on the stern of the flying
boat, to the irascible eyes of the old fisherman,
who kept at a respectable distance in her wake,
all the time fuming and swearing in no slight
degree, to the great amusement of the boys, and
to the increase of the existing animosity.
Nor can we be surpised at it, for should I
moralize at all, I might say, how few are there
of the sons of Adam, similarly situated, but
would have been equally vexed. Of all the
passions which agitate the human breast, jea-
lousy is perhaps the most easily excited. Our
irritable antique had for many years reigned
OF AN ETONIAN. 95
the undisputed sovereign of the Etonian navy,
the Lord Yarborough of the yacht club of the
present day. Could our immortal, our gal-
lant, never-to-be-forgotten Nelson have wit-
nessed, without some little irritation, a successful
rival, snatching from him those laurels which his
previous intrepidity had gained for him ? would
the placid smile have played on his dying coun-
tenance, after the ball of fate had struck him,
had other words than those of joyful victory
met his ear, when he crushed the fleets of Spain
and France in the Bay of Trafalgar ? I fear
not; even though with the consciousness that
every Englishman had done his duty. His
valiant soul could not have endured, that other
than the wooden walls of Old England should
hold the mastery of the seas, and they did hold
it : and may British hearts be ever found with
a Nelson's spirit to man our hearts of oak — and
may that element which has hitherto caused us
to be the pride and envy of other nations, bear
96 REMINISCENCES.
them when mortal strife may arise on die spring-
tide of victory.
But this is digressing somewhat from oar two
Eton rivals* Whilst the one was the cause of
mirth to the boys, the other waxed a great fa*
vourite with them. Novelty perhaps is every
thing, but so it was: he charged high, it is
true, but still be was a long Tick. In addition
to bis trade of Waterman, be also established
an excellent shop for the sale of guns, and I
know it well to my cost. Having hired a gun
of him on a holiday to do some execution among
the blackbirds, &c. in the lanes near the Brocas.
Just as I was sallying out of the yard of Davis
the horse dealer, who should I pap upon — not
upon blackbirds — but upon a most formidable
enemy, in the shape of one of the Under Mast-
ers, who did me the favour to relieve me from
carrying my gun home to its original quarters.*
As the act of going out shooting, is considered a
* Like Smugglers' tubs always forfeited to the Captor.
OP AN ETONIAN. 97
very penal offence, and deservedly so, I fully
expected to have atoned for my crime on the
block : but as, being high in die School, that is,
in the Liberty, it would have been considered
very Infra (dig., to have been flogged in that
part of die school, therefore, with promises never
again to take a gun in hand during my stay at
Eton, (a promise I strictly kept) and by saying
a certain portion of the Greek Andromache,
which I think I shall never forget, I was par-
doned.
One of my first essays, as a little boy, in
shooting, was rather ridiculous. In the neigh*
bourhood of Eton, there is a small bird, called
a Butcherbird, it seems peculiar to that part of
the country, something resembling a Bullfinch,
its breast is very red : as I was walking with a
friend, we saw what we considered to be a bird
of that description, quietly seated in a bush, and
80 it was quietly seated, sure enough. It was
my turn to fire : I pulled* and down it fell.
When lo ! The game was nothing more or less
N
96 REMINISCENCES
than a piece of a brick-bat which had been lodg-
ed by some one in the said bush, to my no
small annoyance, as well as to the jeers and fan
of my friend.
Owing to the Thames being so contiguous to
Eton, he sometimes pays the town a very unwel-
come visit, though a source of glorious amuse-
ment to the boys. This generally takes place
in die winter, when having been well supplied
by tributary streams, after the breaking up of
deep snows, or long continued rains, he comes
rolling down, casting on each side of the low
lands, a wide waste of waters, impoverishing (as
I heard old Pocock the farmer once say) the
arable lands, but enriching the pastures.
One particular flood I recollect of long con-
tinuance, and of great impetuosity, when fifteen-
arch bridge was nearly all swept away, and the
entrance to Eton from Slough was by going
through the Shooting fields and the Playing
fields, a work of some little danger. This was
a time of excellent fun for the boys : no getting
OF AN ETONIAN. 99
to school, and the communication between the
different houses was by boats and carts.
I shall not forget an excellent ducking which
Harry M. and two other boys had in Eton Street.
I was looking out of my window at Ingalton's
at die time, when I observed these three boys
coming in a cart which they had hired for a little
bit of a spree 9 when just as they came abreast
of my window, the water being near three feet
deep there, down went the horse, and out went
every one of them to salute old father Thames-—
of course there was not much chance of their
receiving any serious injury : the water being
very muddy at the time, their external appear*
ance was none of the brightest : it created no
small fun at the time among their schoolfellows,
many of whom, like myself, witnessed their im-
mersion, and they went by the appropriate
appellation of the mud-lark trio.
I hope my readers will pardon me for relat-
ing, in this place, a curious circumstance which
took place three years since at the wreck of the
100 REMINISCENCES
Cam Brea Castle, at the back of the Isle rf
Wight, and which I witnessed, the mention of
the mud-lark, reminding me of it. A farmer
near Brooke, which is situated at the back of the
Island, had sold to a higler a large quantity of
geese ; the purchaser took them across the Island
to Ryde, where they were purchased by the stew-
ard of the Cam Brea Castle, a large East In-
diaman, then lying at Spithead : on the following
day she sailed on her voyage outward bound*
As shfe passed the back of the Isle of Wight, the
Captain, as is said, on purpose to give bis pas-
sengers a nearer view of the lovely scenery of
that fairy spot, approached too near the land :
the ship in tacking missed stays, which, aided by
a strong current, was wrecked on the rocks
near Brooke; there was a very heavy sea at the
time, and it was with great difficulty, and the
strenuous exertions of the Preventive Service
attached to Freshwater Gate, that the crew were
saved. The live stock were all washed over-
board, and as it was a flowing sea, they were
OF AN ETONIAN. 101
soon on shore. Just as I reached the wreck, the
identical geese which had been shipped at Ryde,
were unshipped at Brooke, and were in their
old quarters again, settling their ruffled plu-
mage, and removing the sand and dirt with
which it was most woefully soiled.
The arrangements for bathing at Eton are
very good: those boys who are not able to
swim, are debarred from ablution except at
particular places, where it is almost an utter
impossibility, from the shallowness of the water,
that an accident can passibly occur ; because
excellent swimmers, men appointed by the head
master, such as Shampo Carter and others, are
always on the spot to prevent any accident, and
are regularly paid by the boys for that pur-
pose.
It is somewhat surprising that more accidents
do not occur at Eton on the water, the boys be-
ing generally so very fond of it, and especially
of one very peculiar method of propelling a
boat, which is by darting — a very dangerous
102 REMINISCENCES
custom indeed. The only instances that I can
recollect in my time, including a period of more
than ten years, of death by drowning, were
two, Lord W«, and B., a very small mortality
among so large a number of boys, when we
take into consideration the immediate contiguity
of the playgrounds to the river.
In my day, for swimming, fishing, shooting,
or fighting, take him altogether, Shampo Car-
ter was the man. I have very little hesitation in
saying, that many of my readers will recollect
the man, and can vouch for the truth of my as-
sertions respecting him.
V
OF AN ETONIAN. 103
CHAPTER VIII.
Alas ! the joys that fortune brings
Are trifling and decay ;
And those who prize the paltry things,
More trifling still than they.
And what is friendship but a name,
A charm that lulls to sleep;
A shade that follows wealth or tame,
And leaves the wretch to weep.
Goldsmith-
The expectation of the arrival of the holidays
creates no little stir in our community. You
will find some boys who have notched a stick,
indicating so many days previous to breaking
up, and from which one is cut off every day ;
others are to be observed fitting on their boots
at Ingalton's, with which they intend to be some-
thing when they reach the paternal roof; others
are to be seen bargaining for Tandems to drive
104 REMINISCENCES
to Hyde Park Corner ; while others, more hum-
ble, and certainly more judicious, are taking
their places by Lillewhite's coaches, from which
a general salute of pease, from pea-shooters, is
received by the inhabitants of Colnbrook and
Hounalow, their amunition being generally ex-
pended previous to their arrival at Brentford.
This juvenile peppering, of course only alludes
to the lower boys*
In the winter time/ those boys that went by
the six o'clock coaches, invariably put on their
clean shirt the over night, to be in readiness for
starting — no time in the morning. Even now
I wish for my boyish days, (not as far as re-
gards the clean shirt), were it only for the de-
lightful anticipation of the holidays. Care and
birch for a time dismissed— the joys of home—
the meeting with parents and brethren — really
it is a delight, and the more in after life we think
of it : more particularly as in mine own case,
when all those beloved relations (with one ex-
ception) are gone to the tomb, and I am left as
OF AN ETONIAN. 105
it were alone in the world, with the exception
of my own immediate family : the joys of those
former days, when wealth was at my command,
now for ever fled, and poverty and its direful
train the accompaniments of the present, are re-
gretted with a bitterness truly its own.
And yet all this joy, which pervades the boys
breast, is but the harbinger of sorrow. The
holidays pass away cito pede : those dear friends
on whose smiles we live, must be left: the
pouches* are given, and with sorrowing hearts
we say the miserable good bye : then comes the
return by the same coaches that conveyed us to
town. We put on the face of bravado, while
inwardly there is a ravening wolf of sorrow :
we chink the money in our pockets (not long to
remain there) which our parents have given us,
to dispel a little the misery of leaving home's
comforts : soon too soon, does Slough meet our
eyes, and the well known turn down to the left,
where we catch sight of the ponderous telescopes
•Ad Eton name for presents.
O
106 reminiscences;
of Herschellr—Goon is the fifteen-arch bridge
past — then are we within the confines of the mi-
serable dull town of Eton.
Our luggage arranged, and our poor solitary
candle obtained from our Dames, we hie us to
Long Chamber : a few candles glimmer in the
darkness visible, many not having the heart to
light their candles, but turn into bed to forget
their sorrows — even the upper boys almost seem
to have forgotten the well-used, and well-known
word lower boy^-in short the chamber appears
a scene of desolation. But on the morrow, the
usual scene of activity is on foot— mutual re-
cognition takes place — home is almost forgotten,
and Eton is the same. Floreai Etona. Though
it is rather hard, and the justice of it has been
often canvassed, why the Upper Oppidans
should be allowed a greater indulgence in the
length of their holidays than the Collegers —
but so it is. The Upper Oppidans, on leaving
school, are in the habit of making presents to
the Head Master in money or plate, the Colleger
OF AN ETONIAN. 107
never : some might say, that there was a little
policy in relaxation of duty for one species of
boys : .but that, I do not believe, was ever the
origin of what at first sight may appear a piece
of favouritism in behalf of the Oppidans.
In the pastrycooks shops of London it is a
very common practice to have a pretty young
woman behind the counter to induce the mas-
culine gender to come in and talk to her, by
which means, an increased sale of pastry gene-
rally is effected— some go to shew themselves
off, and to be admired as they suppose ; others
to admire the fair shopkeeper, both tending to
increase the exchequer of the Pastry Cook : the
very same plan prevails in the Cafe's at Paris,
where the most splendid woman is selected to
preside: when I was at Paris, i recollect the
most beautiful woman in France as was imagined
presided at the Cafe aux Milk Cokmnes.
In my time I recollect, my friend Garraway
ef the Christopher, without that aim I believe,
had a very pretty young woman, his niece it
106 REMINISCENCES
was said, as bis Barmaid. It certainly was
a most excellent speculation, if it had been
intended as such. The npper boys, I mean
Collegers, made it a point to go and have
their glass of ale or brandy and water, until
about two minutes before it struck the half hour,
when we were locked up for the night, on pur-
pose to talk nonsense with Pipylena, a nick name,
from her having a pimple on her cheek. Among
others I have little hesitation in saying, that I
was not deficient, in putting in my spoke for a
little flattery with Pipylena. But I am almost
confident from the general correctness of her
conduct, that she would never allow of the least
liberty, Garraway or Mrs. 6. being always
present : though I once did snatch a kiss, and
at the same time, was a receiver of a box on the
ear from the young lady. She was certainly the
promoter or promotress, (if such a word), of
great profit to the landlord of the Christopher —
she was like the Mary of Buttermere, the cele-
brated Pipylena of Eton. I would strongly re-
OF AN ETONIAN. 109
commend any one that visits Eton and stops at
the Christopher, to order a broiled chicken and
mushroom sauce — it is exquisitely cooked there :
and for a bowl of bishop, Garraway is super-
excellent.
Within about two years of my leaving Eton,
I became strong con, as we term it, that is, very
intimate indeed, with the son of a Baronet who
is now in the Tenth. I will here relate a little
story to shew what an alteration, sometimes takes
place, from the boy leaving Eton, and his going
into the world. With this boy, as I before re-
marked, I was very intimate. I was his supe-
rior in school, and I believe though the son of a
Baronet, I might have considered myself, as far
as expectations went, on an equality with him :
nearly every whole or half holiday, we used to
meet at the Christopher, and have our bowl of
bishop, and were on the most friendly terms
imaginable, he frequently breakfasting with me
up Eton (as the term is) at my room, where I
lodged at Ingalton's. It may be as well in this
110 AEMINISCENCES
place to say that the Upper Collegers are in the
habit of hiring rooms in the town of Eton*
One of his favourite expressions, when per-
ehanee I- remonstrated with him on the desolate
life he was living, was, "D— e B., a short life
and a merry one/-' Still his life has been longer
than might have been imagined. About four
years since, I write this in eighteen hundred and
thirty-one, I met the above friend at the noble
mansion of his father-in-law, after an interim
of seventeen years. It will not be amiss to say,
though grating to my own feelings, that all my
expectancies and monies received, had taken
their departure, and I was then settled in a vil-
lage in Hertfordshire, as the stipendary citrate
of one hundred pounds per annum, with a wife
and seven children to keep, and a house to pro*
vide for, all out of the above sum. And three
duties to perform on the Sunday.
It would be needless perhaps to say, that I
anticipated the pleasure of seeing an old school-
fellow with no small degree of anxiety, one too
OF AN ETONIAN. Ill
with whom I had been so intimate at school,
considering the word Etonian, almost equal to
MasoniCb On entering the drawing-room, I saw
my old friend, and with outstretched arm, im-
mediately went up to him, with, "well G., I am
glad to have this opportunity of again meeting
with an old friend." "Ah! are you, well I am
glad to see you, this is a pretty place, is it not ?"
" Yes/ 9 " What do you think ; an old lady, last
week, made me a present of three hundred deer
to stock my park with, which has been lately
left me, walled all the way round for miles,
D— ed good, is not it ? " Yes, thinks I to myself
very good indeed, but the distribution of a few
of these goods, would be better — at dinner I
drank wine with him — I dined off silver — no-
thing further of auld long syne occurred, and
we parted like common acquaintances*
Foolishly perhaps I had looked forward to
the pleasure of meeting him, with no slight emo-
tion. I was disappointed. The Tenth do not
recognise old schoolfellows — the Tenth do not
112 REMINISCENCES
know old friends. Such was the conclusion of
my friendly anticipations.
Let me now escort my readers to a very plea-
sant scene, supposing the Election Saturday to
have arrived. For a week previous to it, rug-
riding begins in Long Chamber. To illustrate
the word rug-riding, let me say, that it is thus
performed. Some lower boys rugs are tied up
at one end, in which a bolster is placed, and to
the other end of it a rope is affixed ; an upper
boy then takes his seat, and a certain number of
other boys are fagged to run up and down Long
Chamber, with as great speed as possible ; this
continuing for a week, it is scarcely possible to
conceive the beautiful gloss which the old oak
boards receive : the space between the bedsteads
is also scrubbed with hard brushes, to corres-
pond with the other.
On the Thursday previous, waggon loads of
beech boughs, from the College woods, are
brought, with which the whole of the chamber
is decorated, from one end to the other. On the
OF AN ETONIAN. 113
Saturday morning, green rugs, with the College
arms, are placed on every bedstead. Company
is then admitted to view it, and really it is a
very pleasing sight — a complete vista of foliage :
and considering the moving scene between, the
Captain's bed at the top of the chamber, sur-
mounted by a handsome Flag, the boys in their
gowns, and the fragrance of the boughs, render
it almost a magical delusion — in short, it is a
magical delusion, in comparison with theappear-
ance which the dormitory exhibits, without the
assistance of these extraordinary supplies.
At two o'clock the Provost of King's College,
Cambridge, enters Western's Yard in his car-
riage and four, attended by the two Posers, a
name given to the two gentlemen from Kings,
whose turn it is to examine the candidates for
Scholarships of that College. A speech is then
made in latin, by the captain of the school, in
the cloisters, (which fell to my lot previous to
leaving for Cambridge,) to offer our congratu-
lations to the Provost on his arrival at the col*
p
114 REMINISCENCES
lege. In the evening the same water excursions
to Surly Hall and back, and the exhibition of
fire-works on Piper's Ayot take place.
On the Monday following, the sixth form
boys recite their speeches before a generally
very crowded audience of big wigs, most of
them old Etonians, and a select company of
fashionables, admitted by the Head Master. The
big-wig gentry are not very scrupulous in
making their remarks on the merits or demerits
of the orators. But ne importe their quizzing,
a privilege which antiquity may claim to itself
with impunity. The gratification was, when the
»
speaker caught the spy glass of Magnus full
upon him, and the smile upon his countenance,
expressing his entire approbation of his pupil's
oratorical skill, a mutual recognition of delight.
This is the principal day of feasting, and verily,
it is a day of feasting in good earnest, no shilly
shally — it is a regular display of the odontical
art. A large party of old Etonians are gener-
ally present, and as a matter of course invited
OF AN ETONIAN. 115
to dine id the College Hall. The beautiful old
tapestry makes its annual visit to the top of the
hall, the dais of the day, where the table is set
out for the principal guests. Puppy 9 s Parlour
abounds with the old plate belonging to the
College ; the Butteries are a constant scene of
passing and repassing in glorious confusion.
Among the regular visitors on that day, (well
remembered by all Collegers), was a good old
divine, who had an excellent nose for a turtle
or an haunch of venison, and I believe always
managed to obtain a provoke, having long lived
in the neighbourhood, and being much respected
as an old Etonian and a Kingsman. On one of
these annual feast-days, a haunch of venison of
course sent forth its savory odour at the head
of the table, where the Provost sat in all the
dignity of his high station. It was the custom
for the Provost to cut off a certain number of
slices, enough to fill the plate, which was handed
round to each of the guests, to take as much as
they pleased. On the present occasion, the plate
116 REMINISCENCES
made its first and last supply of the present bur-
den to the Rev. Dr. B., who with a smile of
great satisfaction, so the story goes, (the occur-
rence making the Hall ring again with laughter),
took the plate and its contents, at the same time,
premising with, "You have helped me very
bountifully, Mr, Provost, but I will endeavour
to do what I can with it" — and it vanished.
Poor old man he is long since dead. He was
a daily visitor at Eton. We had no occasion
ever to inquire what o'clock it was, at the hour
of two ; for as sure as the clock would strike
that hour, the old carriage, and equally old
horses and coachman to boot, would pass by the
long walk wall. It used to be so regular in its
rotatory motions, that it at length acquired the
name of the S. Waggon. His son was next to
me in school, and Eton College, from their re-
spect to the father, at his death, presented the son
«
to the living which his father held — a kind tri-
bute of respect to his memory, as well as of
gratification to the son. Which son, by the bye,
OF AN ETONIAN. 117
was a most tremendously lazy fellow in school :
and when it was sometimes remarked to him,
that he would perhaps get flogged, if he did not
get his lesson to construe, his usual remark was,
" Oh ! I shall trust to Providence," and Provi-
dence was very kind to him ; for he generally
escaped being called up to construe — much
kinder to him, than to myself and my oldest
schoolfellow. We went to school at Slough — I
in petticoats : and we have continued next to
each other in College to this day : and the only
trifling difference between us now is, that he is a
Senior Fellow of King's — plenty of dividends —
no care for the morrow — no butcher's bills to
pay— and I — vice versa.
In most scrapes we were united — the duo
juncta in uno : flogged together twice a week,
because we bad made up our minds not to do
our Derivations for one of the assistants, who
regularly heard us twice a week : and who
from some spite, or some other cause, regularly
called us up, and as regularly put us in the bill.
118 REMINISCENCES
which was sent to the Head Master. The good
old man, Dr. H. observing that we, as regular as
Monday and Friday came, long morning days,
were sent up to him for punishment, divined
that it was owing to some pique of die assistant,
or that we were incorrigible, merely, just for
forms sake, touched us with old Sly's manu-
facture, after his usual exclamation of, " Ah !
my old friends, par nobile Jratrum." There
never were two such unlucky dogs as we were ;
whenever either was asked for his derivations
by this said assistant, now the head of one of the
principal Colleges, (and that through the aid
of my vote for him), in Cambridge, his usual
answer was, " I have lost them, Sir." The truth
was we had never found them, that is, had never
done them : and I fear, such was our obstinacy,
that we never would, if we had been flogged
every day.
During my residence at Eton I received great
kindness, and many little attentions, in the shape
of Pie and Pudding, from the mother of my old
OP AN ETONIAN. 119
schoolfellow, a lady who lived at Eton, and
whom I have lately heard, has paid the debt of
nature. If intrinsic worth and Christian piety,
will meet with its due reward in another world,
which we doubt not, it will be hers.
120 REMINISCENCES
CHAPTER IX.
How situations give a different cart
Of habit, inclination, temper, taste :
And he, that seemed our counterpart at first,
Soon shews the strong* similitude reversed.
Young heads are giddy, and young hearts are warm,
And make mistakes for manhood to reform.
Boys are at best- but pretty buds unblown,
Whose scent ana hues are rather guessed than known ;
Each dreams that each is just what he appears,
But learns his error in maturer yean,
When disposition, like a sail unfurled,
Shews all its rents and patches to the world.
Cowper's Tirocinium*
In my last chapter, I took somewhat of a leap
from the hall of festivity, to which I will now
again return. As the Fellows and their guests
do ample justice to the good things of this world,
so are we, the Collegers, on that day allowed
to indulge somewhat more than usual. To each
boy is allotted the half of a roasted chicken, a
certain portion of ham and greens, besides some
very good pastry. Happiness sits on the faces
OP AN ETONIAN. 121
of all, except those poor fellows of die sixth
form, who, on that day, are called superannu-
ated ; that is, too old to be able to stay any
longer in College, their age being above nine-
teen — and consequently, should no resignation
come for them on that day, before die cloister
clock has done striking twelve at noon, they
lose their chance of becoming Scholars, and
eventually Fellows of King's College, Cam-
bridge.
The mighty operation of dinner being con-
cluded — the strong audit ale having been dis-
cussed, by pledging Can to the memory of Henry
the Sixth, Nan Nobis Domine is then sung by
the choristers and singing-men, and all take
their departure, leaving the reliquiae Danaum
to the old grumbling alms-women. The Fel-
lows and their guests to Fellow* % Chamber, to
their convivial vinal potations, and the boys to
whatever mischief they can set afloat.
Election Monday has other pleasures for the
Collegers than the bare dinner, for tarts and
Q
122 REMINISCENCES
strong beer find their way into die chamber in
the evening.
I called the alms-women grumblers, and so
* they certainly are, but not without tolerable
just cause. Every Colleger takes good care to
have one, if not two, pockets in his gown, and
as the supper hour in the hall, (six o'clock), is
considered to be too gothic for this age of re-
finement, the cold breasts of mutton, which are
allowed for supper, find their way into the «aid
pockets, and from thence, by a natural grada-
tion, into Long Chamber, where, with some
herbs and a few turnips from a neighbouring
field, a most excellent broth is made for sup-
per at a more genteel and fitting time of night.
And as the alms-women are to have only what
is left, as far as mutton goes, they sometimes
find a perfect minus ; though they make up for
it in broken bread and stripes, too good to be
carried away.
On the Tuesday and Wednesday, die boys
are examined previous to their entrance to Eton,
OF AN ETONIAN. 123
as well as others for their fitness for King's.
This falls to the lot of the Posers, the examin-
ing Chaplains, rather terrific gentlemen in the
eyes of the boys. The examination takes place
in Election Chamber.
I recollect my first entrance into that awful
room, when I thought there appeared a collec-
tion of red lions sitting round the table. It
was a beautiful sunny afternoon, and the bright
glare of the sun striking through an immense
red curtain, let down at the large oriel window,
completely dazzled those not accustomed to such
an appearance, and imparted that vivid rubi-
cundity to the persons seated therein.
The Qentlemen, (as the tradespeople had the
impertinence to call the Oppidans), having gone
home on the Monday, and the Collegers having
to wait until the Thursday, all the shops are
shut up, and now and then only a straggling
Colleger to be seen.
On the Wednesday evening of our breaking
up, about two years before I left, I can well
124 REMINISCENCES
recollect the afrigbt which some of the Fellows
of Eton and its inhabitants were put into, by
seeing the Long Chamber, apparently envelop-
ed in flames, making their way out of the dif-
ferent windows therein. The truth of the mat-
ter was this. The boughs, which had been
ranged all along chamber, by this time began
to be somewhat arid, and in a fit state for burn-
ing. At that time I belonged to Upper Carter's
Chamber. To confer upon it the name of a loft
would be, I think, granting too high an honour
to it. It certainly had stairs to it, instead of a
ladder, the usual way of mounting a hay-loft —
•still, being separated from the noise of Long
Chamber, it was usually considered to be an
enviable place to get into.
Well, H. M., the author of that most enter-
taining work, The Diary of an Invalid, and
who some time since died as Fiscal Advocate at
Ceylon, proposed having a bonfire the last
night — no sooner said than done*
By removing the bedsteads that were near to
OF AN ETONIAN. 125
the fire place, and putting them out of harm's
way, or fire way, more room was made for an
additional supply — the candle was applied, and
verily it was a splendid sight. Very little dan-
ger could accrue from the conflagration, there
being only bare walls, and old oaken floors that
would not burn. In addition to the flames,
the chamber had its quantum of dense smoke,
not very agreeable to the eyes, or to that of
breathing : the only thing to do, was to mount
up to the windows that were free from the
flames, and put their heads out to inhale the
fresh air. Some went down to Lower Chamber,
some took advantage of the windows on the stairs,
others went to the scene of my nocturnal af-
fright with the fish, and one poor fellow ven-
tured to come up into Upper Carter's Chamber,
where I was preparing to get into bed. This
place was tolerably free from smoke. He di-
rectly came to rae and said, " B. I wish you
would allow me to sleep with you tonight, for
I cannot stand that confounded smoke." To
which request 1 immediately assented.
126 REMINISCENCES
We had not been long in bed, he rather en*
joying his situation, and I wishing him at la
Diable, (for it was very hot weather at the time,
and aided by the heat from Long Chamber),
when who should open his study door, (there
were four in this chamber), but the captain of
it, and having heard us talk, demanded who
were in that bed %
De tuo ipsius studio conjecturam ceperis.
Cicero.
I told him that such a one had asked me to
permit him to sleep in my bed, for that he could
not stand the smoke in Long Chamber* " Oh !
(says he) I will try," and with a sounding slap
on the left cheek, he bundled him down stairs
to make the attempt with the somniferous god.
It is more than probable that these pages will
find their way into his hands, who is now a
distinguished character in the law, and I think
they will recall to his recollection the above
fact.
Whenever the chimney of Carter's Chamber
OF AN ETONIAN. 127
became at all foul, we always used to set fire to
it, artd being very large, the roar it made when
blazing was magnificent: very much to the
annoyance of Dr. Davis, the late Provost, part
of whose lodge was very approximate. Our
fires there, were made with large beechen logs,
supported on iron dogs, where we used to roast
potatoes beautifully. One of these logs, every
lower boy was compelled to saw up before he
went to bed, with a saw that had no edge, and
appeared as if it had been in the hands of the
dentist frequently : this was one of the most se-
vere things that a lower boy had to endure : for
the thinnest logs were always chosen by the big-
est boys, vi et armis, leaving the heaviest for
the poor little fellows, that could scarcely lift
them. I have frequently known them to dock
themselves of part of their rolls for breakfast, to
bribe another stronger boy, to saw up their por-
tion for them.
In the very place where these logs were kept,
I well recollect having earned the title of the
128 REMINISCENCES.
most experienced rat catcher in College, from
the circumstance of having caught, with a j5ck-
haltering wire,* an immense, perfectly grey,
old rat, which was supposed to be the ghost of
King Henry the Sixth ; or at any rate, to have
been in being from the very first foundation of
the College. I was somewhat of an adept
myself in jack haltering, which is performed
by fastening a twisted wire with a noose in
it, attached to a long ashen pole, and then gra-
dually slipping it over the head of the fish ;
with a sudden jerk it tightens, and the said
fish is secured. I had once caught a very
large perch, a very difficult fish to catch by that
means, owing to the peculiar formation of it,
and had found another lying very quietly, close
to Fellow's Ayot. Just as I was going to se-
cure my prey, another boy came up, and with
some little malice, threw a stone into the water,
which of course disturbed my intended spoil,
* A favourite amusement along the ditches of Eton Com-
mon, where the jacks come from the Thames to deposit their
spawn.
OF AN ETONIAN. 129
and I lost it. I was so enraged at the time,
that I immediately laid the pole about his pate
as hard as I could, and with tears in my eyes,
from sheer auger, told him, if ever he did so
again, I would serve him the same. He had
been in the habit of bullying me, and I sup-
posed it rather cowed him, for he never after
annoyed me. He was then a commoner, but is
now a noble lord, the son-in-law of a distin-
guished statesman, and does me the honour of
subscribing to my Reminiscences.
In such a large seminary as Eton is, it is of
course natural to suppose, that the dispositions
and inclinations of the boys must be varied.
One boy, a lower Colleger, had such a deter-
mined abhorrence of school, and I suppose vice
versa, such a predilection for dulce domum, that
he was constantly running away, and as con-
stantly meeting with his deserts in the Library
on his return attended by Duckey* Whenever
• An old College servant kept for the purpose of sweeping
out the chambers.
190 REMINISCENCES
Dttckey was seen mounted on the Windsor
coach for London, there was no occasion for sur-
mise on the occasion ; it was pretty certain that
Master H. was off again— and no retriever 9 or
old hound, ever came upon the scent better than
the above messenger.
Another was particularly fond, as be used to
run through Simons'* yard to his Dames, of
pulling the bungs out of the barrels and allow,
ing the contents to take their departure. The
swipes* were no great loss, it is certain. I well
recollect old Smith, the brewer, catching this
boy at one of these pranks, and hallooing after
him, in his nasal twang, " I say, Master — ,
there you are knocking the bungs about again ;
I certainly will tell the Head Master, I will
indeed, and have you well flogged/' These
admonitory reproofs passed unheeded — when
his back was turned, out went a bung, and no
on, to the sad annoyance of poor Smith.
* A name given to the small beer brewed for the use of the
boys; but the election audit ale is super-excellent.
OF AN ETONIAN. 131
There was one boy, two or three years above
me in school, who was one of the best shots in
die kingdom ; in short, I do not know whether
be would not have gained the silver arrow at
any archery meeting — but then, bis shooting was
with the long bow, and a terrible long bow it
was. The various tales that he would relate,
for our benefit, when sitting round Long Cham-
ber fire, would have done credit to any Mun-
chausen. Whenever he opened bis mouth, pre-
fatory to bis simple story, the remark usually
made was, " now for it — now for a crammer."
He had, however, so perfected himself in the
art of invention, that for truth to have been ex-
tracted from the well of his ore rotundo, would
have been twice as difficult as his original sys-
tem. He used always to swear that his father
lighted his fires with bank notes — that was one
to which he rigidly adhered : still they were
very amusing, ut impudentissime mentiretur, and
he was a great favourite among the boys. He
had a very pretty nickname given him, which
132 REMINISCENCES
all that knew him then, and knew bkn now,
would recognise him by, did I mention it ; but
as 1 do not intend to be personal in this little
work to living characters, of course I omit it.
At any rate be is now a good divine, an excel-
lent fellow, and very intimate with one of the
royal family, with whom be is in habits of the
most familiar acquaintanceship : the ars menti-
endi, that is, poetical allusions, of course being
left at Eton in the last century.
I do not think that there was any one so much
abhorred by the Collegers, and that from his
strict fidelity to his duty, as Sly, (as he was
termed, the Head Master's faithful servant),
principal and only locker up and gaoler to the
boys, birch collector, and rod distributor ; and
whom we designated sometimes by another
name, by the mythological one of Cerberus.
No bribe would ever do with him, to let any one
out at night after we were locked up— rejedt
alto dona nocentium vultv. What a hated sound
it used to be, when he came to light the fires,
OF AN ETONIAN. 133
" Half-past seven, come get up," accompanied
by a tolerable rough bawl of the shoulders. It
was his place to call every boy in the morning
previous to eight o'clock school, and I never re-
collect his once being behind his time.
134 REMINISCENCES
CHAPTER X.
Evans. Have a care of your entertainments ; there is a
friend o' mine come to town, tells me, there is three cozens-
german that has cozened all the hosts of Reading, of Maiden-
head, of Colnbrook, of horses and money.
Merry Wives of Windsor.
Among the various amusements which tend
to checquer the life of an Etonian, and to render
it, what it really is, an agreeable life, when put in
comparison with what are termed private schools,
is the Montem, as it is called, a gala day truly —
a day which, fortunately for the pockets of the
parents, happens only once in three years ; viz.
on Whit-Tuesday. This is the grandest day of
all, a day of three year's speculation who will be
the captain, when the revolution of the triennial
cycle occurs.
OF AN ETONIAN. 135
For months previous, tailors and mantuama-
kers, hatters and shoemakers, and a whole host
of tradesmen, even army clothiers, are put into
requisition : long, long before my military coat
(I was a Corporal) was finished, it was daily
tried on at Reeves's ; many and many an hour
have I whiled away, in superintending the splen-
did dress, which I had ordered my two servants
to wear, one of them, by the bye, now a Marquis,
and will eventually be a Duke. Mammas and
sisters are consulted upon the most engaging
colour to be worn. Interest is made to procure
situations for some of the little boys, generally
sprigs of nobility, as servants to the Captain, or
the Corporals, which situations, from the gay
dress worn by than, are anxiously desired.
My first essay at Montem, was as one of the
six servants of the Captain, who was intimately
acquainted with my Grandfather: (and who
made his intimacy turn to a good account at
Ankerwyke House). He was, I recollect, a
famous baud at making Bumble — a beverage
136 REMINISCENCES
composed of swipes and brown sugar, which,
after two day's bottling, was good stuff. I am
positive, that no king strutted his brief hour on
the stage with more pride, than did I on that
day, equipped in a light infantry dress, with my
blue silk sash edged with gold, silver buckles to
my Spanish leather shoes, powdered hair, and
a handsome ivory-handled dirk to my side*
With which said dirk, many years afterwards,
at a wine party in Old Court, Cambridge, or
more correctly speaking at the conclusion of it,
I was very near depriving the Bench of one of
its greatest ornaments, in the shape of a newly
made judge.
After some taunt, which displeased me, whea
in a state fproh pudor) of inebriation, I flew
to my rooms, and seizing my dirk, went imme-
diately after my equally inebriated aggressor,
whom I overtook, going up one of the Towers
of Old Court : I struck at him, and most fortu-
nately for himself, as probably for my own neck,
I missed him, and the blow fell on the stone
OF AN ETONIAN. 137
steps, which shattered the weapon to pieces.
Of a certainty, not even inebriation, and the
addition of a cayenne temper, could be any ex-
cusefor such an action* I need not say, that on the
following morning, when reason, as well as day-
light dawned, 1 was truly penitent, I thai
made a vow to myself, never to stay at a wine
party after six o'clock; and that resolution
I afterwards inviolably kept ; and in a subse-
quent severe illness, the typhus fever, when
death ravaged our ranks, I experienced the be-
nefits of it.
But to the Montem again. Independent of the
Captain, who pockets the collection of the day,
and the Marshal with his truncheon of office,
and the Ensign with his splendid flag, the two
Saltbearers, who take their station on Windsor
bridge, to collect the Salt,* from their Majesties
and the Royal Family,arethe principal objects of
attention, their equipment being generally so
very superb.
* Phrase for money.
196 REMINISCENCES
The Runners are of an inferior grade to the
Saltbearers, yet most elegantly attired in silk
dresses, and whose office it is to go to different
stations from Eton : some of them go perhaps to
the distance of six or seven miles. Colnbrook
and Maidenhead bridge, in my time, were always
considered the two best runs, as being situated
on the high road from London to Bath. The
distant Runners always go in gigs, attended by
a tolerably powerful man, to protect them from
insult, which often occurs from those travelling
on the road, and not aware of the custom, and
no wonder, of the Mos pro Lege. The collec-
tion of the Runners, is finally given to the 5aft-
bearers, who are the Chancellors of the Exche-
quer for the day, and they in their turn, present
the proceeds to the Captain, the Receiver Ge-
neral.
Let us suppose the expected day arrived, and
should it be ushered in with a cloudless sky,
the joy is unbounded : a large assemblage of
beauty and fashion, rustic as well as West End,
OF AN ETONIAN. 139
is expected, to see and be seen. It is a day of
bustle and shew — according to the song, "a day
of Jubilee cajolery, a day that ne'er was seen
before, a day of fun and drollery."
The Ensign's flag is displayed at Long Cham-
ber window; at eleven o'clock, George the
third, used to appear with bis family, and with
a long continued roar of huzzas, was received
by the boys, ever anxious to have their Monarch's
smile of approbation : and from the entrance
to the school-yard, conducted by the Head Mas-
ter to his Chambers — from whence, after an ele-
gant collation therein, the procession moves to-
wards Salthill, the principal scene of the days
display.
It it a gratifying sight to see upwards of five
hundred of the sons of England's aristocracy,
accompanied by their beloved king, and bis
suite, marching in due order to the all-inspiring
sound of martial music, while on each side, the
road is lined with spectators, during the whole
of the march.
140 REMI1USCENCE9
On their arrival at the Mount at Salthill, a
small eminence from whence is derived the name
of Montem, the Ensign becomes a most im-
portant personage, and the great lion of the
shew. Here with the symbol of his office,
the splendid silken flag, he performs a variety
of manoeuvres, each of which, from the great
skill required to effect, and a previous long
drilling in the perfection of that skill, necessarily
attracts attention and applause, from the sur-
rounding multitude. This being concluded,
Stacker* and his doggerel verses having been
well laughed at, the boys then proceed to one
of the best parts of the day's diversion, viz. a
superb dinner provided at the principal Inns at
Salthill, attended by the Assistants of the School,
and the Dames, to preserve due order. .
The joyous day, the O Jest us dies pnerorum,
is generally concluded with a promenade on the
* A noted character of Windsor, the poet-laureate «f that
day, the attendant of many Montems, drawn in a donkey cart
fantastically dressed, and well known to all Etonians.
OF AN ETONIAN. 141
terrace at Windsor, at which our revered king,
old George, used always to make it a point to
attend. I believe in his successor's reign, from
a love of retirement, that part of the ceremony
was dispensed with, the terrace being closed ;
but I doubt not, that the high regard, which
our present beloved monarch, William the
Fourth, entertains towards the enjoyments of
his subjects, that the same gratifying privileges,
if not already, will be restored again.
Still although the public may admire the
scene altogether as a shew, and as the cause of
producing much gratification to the Etonians ;
and although the advocates for its continuance,
will say, it is only one day, out of one thousand
and ninety-five days, I must say, I think its
principle is bad. It is nothing less, (and I go
not on my own opinion alone), than a genteel
begging, which has the sanction of time imme-
morial : and it is a pity that the present Head
Master, should not have put a final stop to the
142 REMINISCENCES.
custom altogether : for it is the cause of a need-
less expence to many of the parents of the boys
who can ill afford it, not willing to be outdone
by others, in gratifying their sons in the pa*
geant of that one day.
I before stated that it is a pleasing sight to
see upwards of five hundred boys in their blue
jackets white trousers, and white wands ; and
although the collection may, on an average,
yield from eight hundred to one thousand pounds
to the Captain, yet when the expences are de-
ducted from it, a very small share finds its way
to its original intention, that of producing a suffi-
cient sum to pay for a young man's expences
at Cambridge, during his Under-Graduateship.
In short, I understand that at the last Montem,
from the great expences lavished thereon, that
the Captain was actually a loser by it. At its
first institution it was annual, but it was found
to be so burdensome a tax on the parental trea-
suries, that it was changed to once in three years.
OF AN ETONIAN. 143
Thus much for the Montem, which I again add
would be better abolished. Perhaps the moral
in the fable of the ox and the calf may be ap-
plicable to me, "chickens must not feed capons,"
or I might perhaps be told,
Non est tuum contra auctoritatem senatus dicere.
Cicero.
144 REMINISCENCES
CHAPTER XI.
A jubilee shall that fiftieth year be to you.
Leviticus xxv. 11.
From our vicinage to Windsor, we were fre-
quently in the habit of experiencing the royal
kindness and condescension. During the time
that I was at school, I was present, as one of the
upper boys, (a certain number only, generally
fifty, going at one time), at four of his majesty's
fetes— where it was impossible to be otherwise
than highly delighted, at the condescension of
farmer George, (as he was always denominated,
not only by ourselves, but by half die kingdom,
from his predilection for agricultural pursuits),
OF AN ETONIAN. 145
to one and all. To every one a something was
to be said, which was a sure source of gratifi-
cation to his auditors. He was as a father to
all his subjects : but in a more striking point
of view, did that paternal kindness exhibit it-
self in Saint George's Hall, or at Frogmore,
when entertaining us, whom be was always in
the habit of calling his boys.
If, as we are told, cares, anxieties, and trou-
bles, are the precious stones which encircle the
kingly crown, they certainly never appeared in
his entertainments to us. His words were those
of joy and gladness, shedding their sweetness
on those, whom he delighted to honour.
German play 8 were very great favourites with
him, which were usually performed at the
Queen's Palace at Windsor. A certain portion
of these plays were enacted by clock-work : it
was of course impossible to understand the ma-
noeuvring ; but I can well recollect this, that
we were often in total darkness. This some-
times created rather an odd sort of feeling
T
146 REMINISCENCES
among some of the tender-hearted ones, at what
was to make its appearance ; whether a ghost in
real earnest, or only the notes of the invisible
girl were to be distinguished.
In my younger days I have been at several
Fetes : as well Royal as otherwise : the Horti-
cultural Fetes, as well as Holly Lodge, have
displayed their profusion and grandeur : in latter
days I have witnessed the real pleasure on the
faces of my own children and others at Dome
House juvenile Fete, where its amiable and
hospitable mistress reigned the dispenser of hap-
piness, mirth and hilarity.
But of all the Fetes, to which I ever had the
honour of being invited, and from which I ex-
perienced the greatest delight, was that given
by our excellent old Queen — by her whose name
will ever go down to posterity, as the mirror
for future queens, a model of virtue to all suc-
ceeding ages. It was a Fete in which the whole
nation participated — I mean that of the Jubilefc—
when our beloved sovereign had reigned over
our land for fifty years. Through storm and
OF AN ETONIAN. 147
through sunshine, he had been our revered ruler :
though at times, when the hand of God lay
heavy upon him, and overwhelmed him with
mental infirmity, and the vision of God's bless-
ed light was taken from him— when the reins of
government were placed in the hands of our
late gracious monarch, as Regent of the land —
still was he England's King.
It was a beautiful day in October, which
witnessed the holiday of the Jubilee. Soon
after daylight, the firing of the cannon, and huz-
zaing of the people, were to be heard in all di-
rections. Windsor was crowded, not only by
the high and mighty of the court, coming to
pay their respects to royalty, but by the pea-
santry also, who came in flocks from the neigh-
bouring villages, to partake of the festivities of
Bachelor's Acre. This is a particular spot of
ground, lying between Sheet Street and Peas-
cod Street, almost in the centre of Windsor, and
belonging, (by right of time immemorial, and
service done to the state by the CmKbes of for-
mer days,) to the Bachelors of Windsor of the
148 REMINISCENCES
present time* This was the place assigned for
the sports to take place. Bullocks roasted
whole, and sheep by strings, like sausages sur-
rounding a turkey, were among some of the
substantiate prepared for the multitude in the
Acre. I have no occasion to remark that in
this country, no feast ever goes off without a
tolerable good potation — in this instance, be as-
sured, that the old laudable custom was not
omitted ; but that Ramsbottom's hogsheads were
very soon emptied of their contents in honour
of the day.
As Etonians, we of course were not left out
of the bill of fare, but participated in some of
the fun going forward on that day. A whole
holiday and additional commons fell to our
share ; but the best part of all were the evening
entertainments, to which I before alluded, given
by the Queen, and to which fifty of the head
boys of the school were invited by royal man-
date.
It was my good fortune to be the Captain of
the school at that time, and as such, it was my
OF AN ETONIAN. 149
province to marshal my schoolfellows to the
Queen's Lodge, at Frogmore. To this parti-
cular day, I often recur with pleasure ; nay, I
think I may add, with pride, as an era in my
life, in which, I think I may with truth assert,
that no other Etoniap ever before had such a
distinguished honour, and most probably never
will. A king to reign fifty years, in these our
days, is no common occurrence.*
It will perhaps be needless to remark on the
difficulty which our little band experienced in
its progress, marshalled by the author of these
Reminiscences, through the crowded streets of
Windsor. The mass of the populace, which ab-
solutely covered the road the whole of the dis-
tance from Windsor to Frogmore, was so dense,
that finding it almost an utter impossibility to
reach the grounds in any reasonable time, to
witness the festivities of the evening, I deter-
mined to solicit the aid of some of the Oxford
• In the Anglo-Saxon period of the history of England, we
read of Cissa, the son of Aftla, from whom Chichester takes its
name, reigning seventy-six years, and dying in the year 577, at
the advanced age of 117.— Daily's Chichester Guide.
150 REMINISCENCES
Blues, to act as our pioneers — this they imme-
diately granted ; and with their powerful heavy
horses, soon cleared for us a passage to the de-
sired goal.
To remark on the beauty of this evening scene,
enlivened by the countless lamps, that, suspend-
ed from the branches of the trees, reflected them-
selves on the calm unruffled waters of the
lakes — to tell of the various luxuries which the
beautifully ornamented tents contained, and
which were perhaps only in the power of royalty
to command, and an on this singular occasion
exerted to its utmost — to depict the exhilarat-
ing influence produced by the bands of music,
Martial, Pandeean, and Tyrolese, stationed with
great judgment, to aid and assist in this almost
magic scene — to give an idea of the genuine de-
light, which as well warmed the hearts, as en-
livened the countenances of Frogmore's guests,
would be too great a task for me to perform.
Within a few weeks after this scene of joy,
my resignation came from Cambridge, owing
to the marriage of one of the Fellows of King's
OF AN ETONIAN. 151
College, thereby causing a vacancy in that body.
A circumstance, which does not often occur,
took place when my resignation arrived — there
was no Provost of Eton at the time, the late
Provost having died two days previous. I was
therefore ripped,* according to the Eton phrase,
by the Vice-Provost. I then bid adieu to the
well-beloved as now well-remembered scenes
and acquaintance of my boyhood ; little imagin-
ing, when mounted on the coach for London, in
all the unrestrained freedom of anticipated plea-
sure, casting a last look on the " distant spires
and antique towers," that a day of adversity
would ever arrive — that I should have to wit-
ness the deaths of parents and children — to en-
dure the hard grasp of poverty in future life,
I finally took my journey for Alma Mater, and
was entered a Scholar of King's.
Thus end my Reminiscences of Eton. I
have set down nought in malice: and should
* On leaving Eton for King's, the cloth gown then worn, is
sown up in the front— the Provost then rips it up with a knife,
and you are no longer an Eton boy.
152 REMINISCENCES
they have availed to while away a passing hour
and produce some few recollections of Eton,
one out of two objects of the author will have
been attained.
M v little bark of life is daily speeding
Aaown the stream, mid rocks and sands and eddies,
And gathering storms, and darkening clouds unheeding
Its quiet course, through winds and waves it steadies.
My love is with me, and my babes, whose kisses
Sweep sorrow's trace from off my brow, as last
As gathering there : and hung upon the mast
Are harp and myrtle flowers, that shed their blessing
On the sweet air. Is darkness on my path ?
There beams bright radiance from a star that hath
Its temple in heaven. As firm as youth
I urge my onward way.
Dr. Bowring** Poet. Trans.
[Since the first committal to paper of these pages, the mists
which then obscured the Etonian's path, are now ? by the re-
viving influence of old Eton friendship, beginning to clear
away. A star of brightness is now arising, which he trusts u will
lead to fortune."]
FINIS.
•V
Hackman, Printer, Chichester.
MAR « - W55
rux BiNDor*
.- *