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Full text of "Reveille"

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Editorial Preface 



"Master of human destinies am I! 
Fame, love, and fortune on my footsteps wait. 
Cities and fields I walk; I penetrate 
Deserts and fields remote and passing by, 
Hovel and mart and palace, soon or late 
I knock unbidden, once at every gate." 

— Ingalls 

Opportunity ! What a word to conjure with. The golden key of our future, 
the enduring hope of all life. Abundantly opportunities have come to us in our 
college career. Unmistakably have we heard their knocking. Some we have 
answered gladly, some few we have followed diligently, and some, by far the 
greater part, we have passed by unheeded. Among others, we have grasped 
this opportunity to bring forth a brief record of our happy, thoughtless college 
life, whose care-free spirit has moved us in this delightful work. We have pro- 
duced, as we sincerely hope, something that may serve at least to pass the idle 
hours away, that will in future days dispel a little of the cares and trials of life's 
routine and awaken once more within us dim memories of the joyous atmosphere 
of M. A. C. in the palmy days of Ninteen Eight. If we have failed in this attempt, 
if we have fallen short of our humble object — why, then, we have failed, and that 
is the end of it. If, however, we have succeeded, then the pleasure, the enjoy- 
ment of success is with us, and with those who have worked for its completion, who 
have contributed to its pages, or who have in any manner aided in its progress. 
So, trusting that to our friends and fellow-students it may serve as a refreshing 
reminder and remembrance of the passing of the Brotherhood of Nineteen Eight, 
we leave to you its perusal. 



Editorial Board 



Editor-in-Chief 
R. Brigham 



Associate Editors 

F. E. RuMiG 
G. C. Day W. H. Thomas 

Department Editors 

Athletics Social Art and Design 

U. W. Long J. \A'. Firor C. W. Sylvester 

Huinoroiis Historical 

U. W. Reeder J. P- Shamberger 

Business Manager 
N. L. Warren, Jr. 

Assistant Business Managers 

S. M. Lowrey 
L. B. Broughton T. B. Mackaix 

Treasi4rer 

W. A. S. SOMERVILLE 



Dr. H. B. McDonnell 



On a broad-acred farm near the little town of Florence, in Washington County, 
Pa., Dr. H. B. McDonnell was born, spending his boyhood there, assist- 
ing with the farm work, and attending the district school in winter. After a year 
spent in the public schools of Pittsburg he attended academies at Frankfort 
Springs, Pa., and Butler, Mo., taught school for a while, and then, in the fall of 
1882, entered the Freshman class at Pennsylvania vState College, graduating 
four years later in the Chemistry and Physics Course. He obtained the degree 
of Doctor of Medicine from the College of Physicians and Surgeons, in Baltimore, 
in 1888, assisting while there in the Chemical Department of the Medical College 
as well as in the College of Pharmacy, and spending his vacation as chemist in a 
large fertilizer factory. Having practiced medicine for nearly a year, he accepted 
the position of assistant chemist at the Pennsylvania Experiment Station, and 
was appointed in 1891 Professor of Agricultural Chemistry in the Maryland 
Agricultural College. 

Since his residence here Dr. McDonnell's principal work has been the inspec- 
tion and analysis of fertilizers, spending his first long winter vacation in taking a 
course at Johns Hopkins. After the reorganization of the college in 1892 he 
assumed entire charge of the Department of Chemistry. At this time the income 
from fertilizer licenses amounted to only eight hundred a year, severely restricting 
the work of inspection. Having drafted certain amendments to the existing law, 
Dr. McDonnell succeeded in having it adopted in 1894, and now, with an income 
of nine thousand dollars for analyzing fertilizers under the new law, the Chemi- 
cal Department is self-sustaining. 

Dr. McDonnell is a member of the Washington Chemical Society, The Ameri- 
can Chemical Society, The American Association for the Advancement of Science, 
The Prince George's County Medical Society, of which he is secretary; The State 
Medical Society, and treasurer of the Maryland State Grange as well. 

Our association with Dr. McDonnell as an instructor has been most pleasant 
and delightful. Indeed, to our large class, divided as it is into engineers, farmers 
and scientists, he has been a binding tie, since we were all together under him as 
students of elementary chemistry in our Sophomore year. We have always 
appreciated his good-natured tolerance of our boyish exuberance and excesses, 




DR. H. B. McDonnell 



and consider it a factor in our education of no inconsiderable importance that we 
should have come in touch with such a man as he, who has so ably lived up to 
the true functions of a professor, which consists, we believe, not so much in mere 
technical teaching as in the strength and force of character which is brought to 
bear upon the pupils. The details of inorganic chemistry, its salts, its bases and 
its acids, have long since faded from our lax memories, but we doubt if ever our 
lively recollections of "Doctor Mac," his methodical ways, his quiet criticisms 
and generous treatment of our, we fear, too oft offending class will ever be effaced. 

Around him, too, cluster some of the happiest experiences of our college 
course. Well do I remember how as Sophomores, fifty strong, we used to march 
down from the barracks to the old chemical lab. on our weekly jubilee parade, 
garbed like beggars of the nursery jingle, "Some in rags, some in tags and some 
in velvet gowns." Surely we were a fearful and wonderful sight! And then up 
the stairs we would rush in a wild stampede that I often wonder it did not bring 
the building down. But it never appeared to phase "Doctor Mac"; he had 
seen Sophomores come up those stairs before! Having arrived on the scene, we 
would proceed with all expedition to throw order back into chaos, and this we 
confess is one of the Doctor's tender points, since he is, we believe, a sincere 
believer in the commandment that "Order is Heaven's First Law." 

Especiallv do I remember a balmy day in the late fall, when we had been 
manufacturing chlorine. From fifty generators the noxious gas was leaking out 
in copious quantities. The room was full of it, we were full of it, and everything 
in sight and hearing as well. At length we were driven out, and while the patient 
Doctor cleared the atmosphere we rolled among the rustling leaves and breathed 
in the rich autumn air. 

Those, too, were the days of weekly "matinees," at which some of us (if I 
remember rightly) held box seats reserved for the entire season, and few were 
thev who so far disgraced themselves as to let a whole month go by without 
their patronage. 

If we were remiss in our studying, with what fear and trembling did we listen 
to "Doctor Mac's" cool, decisive "That's sufhcient," when he had pumped the 
desired knowledge out of some reluctant individual and came on down the line 
to us. What joy if we answered correctly! What desperation if we tried to 
bluff! 

It was at the end of this same Sophomore year that we planted our row of 
star-leafed gums along what is to be some day the "Avenue," and we can con- 
clude this simple appreciation in no more fitting manner then by joining, as we 
did then, in a hearty, "Three Cheers for 'Doctor Mac' and the whole McDonnell 
Family." 



College Days 



Four years are passed, and we stand on the threshold of our Hfe's work. It 
is not for us to penetrate the dim avenues of time and see what the hands of fate 
are going to scatter along our pathway, but the joys and the sorrows of the past 
are always ours. We can never store them in the dark corners of our memories, 
these years that have been so much to us. 

How many of us can forget our first arrival here? Our hearts and minds 
were filled with anticipation of what was to be our home for such a long period 
in a boy's life. We could hardly restrain ourselves as the car stopped, so eager 
were we to be the first to see her celebrated halls. At last the train rolled into 
the station, and we were able to drink our fill of the beautiful scenery. How 
proud we are of our State for establishing such an institution ! Our college spirit 
had already passed the embryonic stage, and as we walked up the broad, grace- 
fully-curved avenue, shaded by wide-spreading silver maples, it seemed to fill our 
whole being. 

The scenery which greeted us on every side could not be more delightful. 
From our feet the lawn spread out in a velvety green carpet, stretching over the 
hill and into the valley beyond. A field of clover on our left was nearing the 
cutting stage, and the butterflies and the bees, realizing the great need of haste, 
were sipping continually the nectar from the ripened blossoms. How earnestly 
this picture of rural plenty appealed to us, and as we went on, and our point of 
view enabled us to see over the ridge into the rose garden, with its background 
of vineyard and orchard loaded with their luscious fruits, which one of us was 
then ashamed to acknowledge himself a country lad, even if it did bring disdain- 
ful smiles to the lips of the city-born among us ? From the rose garden we are not 
able to see the building ; instead we find towering up before us an army of foreigners. 
We are not dismayed at their appearance, however, for they are from the friendly 
shores of Norway, and they wave to us their long branches of evergreen, the uni- 
versal sign of peace. 

The inquisitiveness of youth cannot long be restrained, so we hurry thru 
the grove of spruce until we come in view of the main buildings. "And this is 
the place — this old gray building, our home. The place of our struggles and joys." 



How can we ever forget her beauty as we viewed it for the first time, in the halo 
of ideahzing youth ! Around us on every side we see beautiful flower gardens, 
but all of them fall into insignificance as we look directly ahead of us. Here is 
the centra figure of the grounds, a large circular mound, crowned with castor 
beans, elephant ears and scarlet sage, so artistically arranged that one seeing it 
can never forget its beauty. 

Our minds now have to turn from the beauties with which we are surrounded, 
for we have before us the trying ordeal of facing the professors with the r long 
lists of examination questions. For the next few days nothing but work in warm 
classrooms fell to our lot, and when the final results were published they filled 
us with as much pleasure for the time being as all the beauties of nature com- 
bined, for we had passed and were now a part of the school. The dread of failure 
no longer put a check to our buoyant spirits, and we busied ourselves making 
friends with those who had started on the same road to graduation with us. Some 
of these boys have kept with us thruout the entire four years, and if we could 
but write of all of our fun as well as our duties in this time many of those who 
are contemplating a college course would decide to take one as soon as possible. 

Can we ever forget our walks through the country abolit college? How they 
seemed to draw out from our souls all that was pure and noble The hills and 
dales are again before us, and we live over again the pleasure that was then ours. 
We can see the old back road as it winds its way among the pretty farmhouses 
down the hill, with the tall, dark pines on either side, and out again into the valley 
below. The old mill, with its moss-covered water wheel, again looms up before 
us, and the picture is so real that it brings back to us the roar of the water madly 
rushing on over the rocks long worn smooth by the angry lashings of the wrath- 
ful element. We can see again the falls and the large boulders on every side. 
The spray again wets our cheeks as we stand at the base of the cataract and watch 
with ever increasing fascination the maddened waters churned into foam by its 
downward rush. There seems to be some potent charm in the scenery that brings 
us in close communion with the wild life of our prehistoric ancestors. The rough 
battle of the elements harmonizes with our thoughts, and we long to walk con- 
tinuously in companionship with the matchless beauties of nature. 

Once away from the falls the scenery is even more picturesque. Rocks on 
either hand rise almost perpendicularly from the stream. Here and there moun- 
tain laurel covers the face of the rock with masses of white flower clusters. The 
wild pansies are not to be forgetton, for in every place where the sunbeams can 
penetrate we find their friendly little faces turned up to ours in pleasant greeting. 
Wild geraniums and dog-toothed violets are scattered thickly oyer the low ground, 
while fringe trees and magnolias hang over the banks and reflect their blossoms 
in the clear, still water below. 



ID 



These walks, altho giving us much of pleasure, were not the only things that 
made life worth living to us as college men. The athletics — how can we find any- 
thing in life to take the place of our college sports? What are we going to do 
for the gridiron, with her hardened and battered heroes, when we leave college 
for the last time? How can we quench the fire for baseball that burns in the 
heart of every true college man? My comrades, we must leave them to the ones 
who follow in our footsteps. The world is now our athletic field, and we are to 
cope with the problems which will require harder fighting than any of our college 
games, but the same great rules that brought victory to us in the past will apply 
in the future. Remember, fair play and justice will always be triumphant! En- 
deavor to lift your fallen comrades, and they will add strength to your own 
position. Let us strive to solve some of the problems in the game of life, and 
when to our life's work the last tattoo is sounded we will fall to sleep happy 
in the knowledge that we have added our mite to the advancement of the human 
race! 

Esperanto, '08. 




Officers and Faculty of Instruction 

R. W. Silvester, LL. D., President 
Professor of Mathematics 

Thomas H. Spence, A. M., Vice-President 
Professor of Languages 

Edward Lloyd, Major, U. S. A., Commandant 
Professor of Military Science 

H. B. McDonnell, B. S., M. D.. State Chemist 
Professor of Chemistry 

W. T. L. Taliaferro, A. B. 
Professor of Agriculture 

James S. Robinson 
Emeritus Professor of Horticulture 

Samuel S. Buckley, M. S., D. V. S., State Veterinarian 
Professor of Veterinary Science 

F. B. BombERGER, B. S., a. M., Librarian 
Professor of English and Civics. 

Charles S. Richardson, A. M. 
Professor of Oratory, Assistant Professor in English 

J. B. S. Norton, M. S., State Pathologist 
Professor of Vegetable Pathology and Botany 

T. B. Symons, M. S., State Entomologist 
Professor of Entomology and Zoology 

Harry Gw inner, M. M. E. 
Professor of Mechanical Engineering 

C. P, Close, M. S., State Horticulturist 
Professor of Horticulture 

T. H. Taliaferro, C. E., Ph. D. 
Professor of Civil Engineering and Physics 

Henry T. Harrison, A. M., Secretary of the Faculty 
Professor in charge of Preparatory Department, Assistant Professor of Mathematics 

P. M. NoviK, B. S. 
Associate Professor of Horticulture 



12 



B. E. Porter, B. S. A. 
Assistant Professor of Animal Husbandry 

Myron Creese. B. S., E. E. 
Instructor in Physics and Electrical Engineering 

H. L. Crisp 
Assistant in Freehand Drawing, Pattern Making and Foundry Work 

W. N. Michael, B. S. 
Assistant in Mechanical and Topographical Drawing and Shop Practice 

G. W. FiROR, B. S. 
Assistant in Horticulture 

G. E. Cohen, B. S. 
Assistant in Chemistry 

F. W. BeslEy, a. B., M. F., State Forester 
Lecturer on Forestry 

Assistants in State Work 

R. C. Wiley, B. S. 
Assistant in Chemistry 

L. M. Pearis, B. S. 
Assistant in Entomology and Zoology 

E. P. Walls. M. S. 
Assistant in Vegetable Pathology and Botany 

Other Officers 

Joseph H. Owens, M. D. 
Registrar and Treasurer 

Harry Nalley, M. D. 
Surgeon 

Miss M. L. Spence 
Stenographer 

Mrs. L. K. Fitzhugh 
Matron 

Wirt Harrison 
Executive Clerk 



13 



In Memoriam 



Dr. W. O. Eversfield, late resident physician to the college, was born on No- 
vember the 5th, 1 84 1, on his father's estate, which joins the college farm. He re- 
ceived his early education at the Bladensburg Academy and was graduated from 
St. John's College, Annapolis. 

He then attended the University of Virginia, but did not graduate from that 
institution. He completed his course in medicine at the University of Pennsyl- 
vania, receiving the degree of M. D. in 1861, when he was but twenty years of age. 
He then became resident physician at Agnew's School of Surgery, Philadelphia, 
and pursued a post-graduate course in surgery at that institution. 

After completing this course he became, in the early part of the Civil War, 
surgeon of the ist U. S. Cavalry, stationed on the Pacific Coast. In the latter 
part of the war he became Chief Surgeon of the Panama Railroad, and at the end 
of hostilities returned to his home to engage in private practice and to take care 
of the family estate. 

With the exception of a few years, during which he practiced in Washington, 
D. C, his life was spent in this neighborhood, and, either by appointment or by 
proximity, he continued physician to the college until his death, which occurred 
on January 20, 1908. 

Dr. Eversfield was ever a conscientious servitor of M. A. C, and since the Civil 
War few, indeed, have been the students within her walls who have not known 
him, or who will not learn with sadness of his death. At the end of his long and 
useful career we feel impelled to say, "Well done, good and faithful servant. 
Enter, thou into the joys of the Father." 



14 



Senior Class Roll 



W. A. S. SoMERViLLE President 

U. W. Long Vice-President 

W. C. Reeder Secretary 

T. B. Mackali Treasurer 

J. P. ShambergER Historian 

Class Orators » 

H. C. Byrd Salutatorian 

J. P. ShambergER . . . Valedictorian 

Class Colors 
Blue and Red. 

Class Motto 
"Certem Pete Finem." 

Class 1 'ell 

Sis-boom ! Sis-boom ! Sis-boom-bate ! 

M. A. C, M. A. C, Nineteen-eight ! 

Hala, yala, yip, yam, ye! 

We're the best as you can see. 

Edo pel ecce, classis elate. 

Seniors ! Seniors ! Nineteen-eight ! 



i6 



G. G. Becker Baltimore, Md. 

N. E. BricE Annapolis, Md. 

R. Brigham Brinklow, Md. 

L. B. Broughton Pocomoke, Md. 

H. C. Byrd Crisfield, Md. 

B. R. Cooper Worton, Md. 

G. C. Day Castleton, Md. 

J. W. FiROR Thurmont, Md. 

H. B. HosHALL Parkton, Md. 

U. W. Long Selbyville, Del. 

S. M. Lowrey Rossville, Md. 

T. B. Mackall Mackall, Md. 

E. I. Oswald "^ Chewesville, Md. 

E. M. Paradis Stockton, Md. 

E. H. Plumacher Maracaibo, Venezuela 

M. C. Plumacher Maracaibo, Venezuela 

W. C. Reeder Rising Sun, Md. 

R. H RuFFNER Opal. Va. 

F. E. RuMiG College Park, Md. 

J. P. ShambergER Parkton, Md. 

R. L. Silvester College Park, Md. 

C. S. Revoredo Lima, Peru 

W. A. S. SomERVIllE Cumberland, Md. 

H. W. Stinson • Columbia, Md. 

G. W. Sylvester Denton, Md. 

W. H. Thomas Cross Roads, Md. 

N. L. Warren Selbyville, Del. 

C. A. Warthen Kensington, Md. 

R. A. Wilson Cumberland, Md. 



17 



Comrades 



Comrades we were, and comrades still, 

Altho within thy pleasant gates 
Are other places now to fill — 

The vacant places of the Fates. 
Fond memory turns me back again 

To those two years of joyous life, 
Which all too soon were pased and — then 

For me, the sterner call to strife. 



Oh college years — how calm, how bright; 

How like a dream they passed away! 
Two years have sunk to sleep in night; 

In memory now they wake to-day. 
My friends of then, my friends still are, 

Each tie is cherished in my heart, 
Tho time doth scatter us afar, 

In memory never will we part. 



One home, one life those years we spent. 

And then each cherished tie to sever — 
Oh what a pang that break has meant ; 

To me alone 'tis known forever. 
But comrades were we, then and now, 

And comrades still we shall remain, 
Tho we to Fate's decree must bow 

And maybe never meet again. 



For friends must meet and friends must part, 

And hearts with joy must ever glow 
When thus they feel within them start 

The wells of love for friends they know. 
But each to his or her reward 

Must travel on the road of life, 
Unhelped, unaided, save by the sword, 

Which each must carry to the strife. 



But tho the gathering mist of age 

May bring with it its toils untold; 
Yet in this life, to me no page 

Will be more dear than that doth hold 
The memories fond of comrades true, 

Of friendships formed in those two years, 
When we were drawn as but a few 

Are drawn to share their joys and fears. 

Then may we on life's battlefield 

As comrades still go hand in hand; 
Each ready to uphold and shield 

Our college dear to all the land. 
To duty's roll-call ever hark — ■ 

Our very life to duty lend — 
Till the last reveille shall mark 

A wondrous day that knows no end. 



O. H. S., '08. 



19 



History of the Class of 1908 



"O wad some power the giftie gie us, 
To see oursels as others see us." — Burns 

It is with considerable satisfaction that we transmit herewith the history 
of our noble selves, for in our humble opinion the future lords of M. A. C, survey- 
ing with unprejudiced eyes the records of the past, will observe : 

"There was a class, take it all in all. 
We shall not look upon its like again." 

And so we think that following generations, by a careful perusal of our chronicles, 
will obtain much information of valtie, and either bv following our example, or else 
harkening to a voice from the tomb bidding them to avoid those paths which 
lead to destruction, will be enabled to raise the standard of excellence beyond 
their most sanguine expectations. 

But let us pause a moment to decently inter our departed mates. 
There were some amongst us who were deserving of a better fate than theirs; 
some on whose ofTending head was laid the inexorable hand of Fate, and 'neath 
her scorching touch their life plans withered away. To those go out our heart- 
felt sympathies, and over their graves we shed a tear. Yet there were some 
who, like the old hare in the adage, slept, alas, too long, and awoke only to find, 
to their bitter disappointment, that their train of opportunities had gone by. 
And some there were who frittered away their time, who squandered their natural 
endowments with a prodigal hand, who forgot that "to-day is the day of reck- 
oning." To these we extend our condolences as in duty bound. Legion is the 
name of those who have left our ranks since our Freshman year, and tho the sepa- 
ration of the tares from the wheat has been furiously administered; the task 
is still incomplete. 

Ever since our arrival we have been a vital force in athletics, and time and 
again have our representatives snatched victory from what seemed sure defeat, 
As Freshmen, our challenge to the effect that we would play any eleven from the 



classes above remained unanswered. As Sophomores, for the first time within 
the ken of man, the Juniors acceded the championship in football to us without 
a contest. And as Juniors we covered ourselves with glory, and drunk with the 
praise of the multitude we left the gridiron. Our trackmen, too, have broken 
fast records at their discretion, for it is not said of us that ' ' the race is not to the 
swift nor the battle to the strong;" and to-day the baseball banners which we 
have fought so hard to win completely drape the reception hall. 

From the first we have been a precocious class. Our intellects are wonderful. 
In their ability to comprehend and in their power to originate our brains are 
without a peer. Versed in the lore of the ancients and familiar with the science 
of the moderns, we can discuss intelligently the most abstruse subjects. Our 
verdicts are final. There is no appeal. Our logic is without flaw and, indeed, 
fatal to many. We can convince any rational person in five minutes' time that 
the flag pole on the campus is planted upside down, that our mess-hall milk is 
watered, and that our entire faculty are fools. We look upon the pigmv race of 
men above us with mingled scorn and pity. Galling as it is to our finer sensi- 
bilities to be compelled to sit at the feet of ignoramuses, our generous natures 
overmaster us, and it is with infinite patience and calm resignation that we bear 
with our poor, deluded professors. Vain, are we? "Vanity of vanities, all is 
vanity," said Solomon; but Solomon is mistaken. We are not vain; for, accord- 
ing to a later poet, 

"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, 
Drink deep or taste not of the Pierian spring." 

And, like true philosophers that we are, we have studiously refrained from moist- 
ening our parched lips. 

"What profiteth it if a man gain the whole world and lose his own soul?" 
Herein lies the whole sercet of our success. Our every act, our every deed has 
been colored bv moral sentiment, high and lofty. Without ostentation, vet with 
pardonable pride at our forbearance, we flaunt our white badges to the wind. 
No flaming letter burns in scarlet shame upon our breast, and we defy anvone to 
point his finger of detection and say, "This one was dishonest." Unpatriotic we 
mav be called, but patriotism, according to our view, is something more, some- 
thing higher than mere alcohol. Yet rising as we do above the sordid cares of 
men and viewing ourselves without the interference of the proverbial "beam," 
we see several disfiguring specks upon our otherwise spotless character. For, 
alas, it is painfully true that during our stewardship "We have done those things 
which we ought not to have done, and have left undone those things which we ought 
to have done." 



Our social life! Ah, our social life! It is, indeed, true that "man is a social 
being." Our whole college life has been wrapped up in social functions^dances, 
hops, pink teas and midnight feasts. From Hyattsville, from Berwyn, from 
Riverdale and from the very Park itself come little pink, aromatic evidences of 
our sociability. Still there were some in our class, some men who possessed no 
small amount of common sense, men upon whose judgment one could generally 
rely, who for three years successfully resisted the Sirens of Hayttsville, but in 
their Senior year, lulled into apathy by a false sense of security, they were drawn 
into the maelstrom of society. 1 cannot imagine a sight more full of pathos than 
that of a strong man being led astray by such a puny force. And what is love? 

Love in the hands of an amateur is a loaded pistol, a dangerous toy. Love 

but it is not my intention to moralize on love. I frankly admit that I have never 
been within its dangerous embrace, and so, according to our esteemed friend 
Reuleux, I am not in a position to criticise. It is true that to successfully combat 
an enemy we should study him thoroly, but not so love. A man in love is com- 
parable to a man intoxicated — he knoweth not what he doeth, and the nature 
has provided him with two legs for the express purpose of moving from place 
to place, he persistently attempts to walk on his head, and as a consequence views 
the world topsy-turvy. No ! No ! Hearken to one who has never been beguiled 
into Circe's enchanted palace, and shun love as you would the devil. Avaunt! 
Avaunt! Delusive love! I'll none of thee! 

Our Senior year, tho giving rise to some new joys, has been replete as well 
with sorrows. Regretfully did we tear down our highly-colored ideals and bury 
them deep in the darkest recesses of our inmost selves, never, we fear, to be resur- 
rected. On every hand our illusions came tumbling down upon our heads, crush- 
ing the spirit within us, and fortunate was he, indeed, who could adjust himself 
to this new condition and still look hopefully forward. What a gulf separates 
the college life of M. A. C. from the college life we used to dream of. It is so 
exceedingly prosaic, after all ! Yet we have compensating pleasures. Our 
seniority has given us the whip hand in college affairs. Our grave responsibilities 
and important trusts have swelled us with dignity and pride, tho weighting us 
down with cares. Still, with the ever recurring thought that in June we will 
be free — what a misuse of the word free ! — new life springs into our beings. But 
as the fatal hour approaches, our hearts begin to soften, and in the smoke which 
lazily floats from our long-stemmed pipes we see the future. We see the star 
leafed gums which we planted along the avenue and the maples which we inserted 
with such care around the tennis courts grown into flourishing trees. Then we 
picture ourselves visiting our former haunts, ruminating upon our desperate 
escapades and frequent depredations, and wondering why in the world we were 
never hanged, for "then we shall see ourselves as others see us now." 



22 



In order that this history may be complete, it becomes my unpleasant duty 
to eject my classmates, including myself, from this stronghold of education. 
Immediately upon the completion of our commencement exercises we each and 
every one of us tied up his sheepskin in the folds of a handkerchief, fastened the 
letter to the end of the adventurer's stick, slung it military fashion across his 
right shoulder, and separately sallied forth to seek our fortunes; some to return 
to the farm, some to the forge, and some to draw their swords afresh. With 
heavy step and saddened hearts we went out from these gray old walls, and 
never till then did we realize that we were leaving behind us forever our beloved 
kinswomen — our faithful Alma Mater. So, one and all, we were swallowed up 
in the great world about us, in which we were to find many other great men beside 
ourselves. 

Historian, '08. 




23 



Ode to Nineteen Eight 



Comrades of Hope, our day is come, 
Hark to the nearing battle's hum. 
Victors of Campus, Hall and Field, 
To Time alone our crown we yield. 

Oh Nineteen Eight! Strong Nineteen Eight. 

Shoulders together! Nineteen Eight! 

Lo, now on you, our worthy heirs, 
We do bestow our trust and cares. 
In honor guard Our Mother's shield, 
Whilst we in deeds her homage yield. 

Oh, Nineteen Eight! Strong Nineteen Eight. 

Shoulders together! Nineteen Eight! 

Thru coming years we'll bear her name 

From hard-fought fields to halls of fame. 

In soil and steel, by tongue and pen, 

\\'e'll forge her way, chosen of men. 

Oh, Nineteen Ei.ght ! Strong Nineteen Eight 
Shoulders together! Nineteen Eight! 

Brothers in Arms, Sons of the Strife, 

Calls now the stirring toil of life. 

On summit's fair our eyes are cast. 

Then forward till we strike our last 

For Nineteen Eight! Strong Nineteen Eight 
Shoulders together! Nineteen Eight! 



24 



Prologue 



" We know what we are, but not what we may be." — Shakespeare 

Before perusing these sketches, in justice to them as well as to ourselves, 
we beg to inform our readers that we were all born sometime in the last quarter 
century, that we were all educated in a public school somewhere, and that for 
the most part we all entered the portals of M. A. C. together in the fall of 1904. 
We wish moreover to assure you that in the natural course of events we pro- 
gressed from Freshmen to Sophomores, from Sophomores to Juniors, and in due 
time, being invested with Senior responsibilities, we, naturally, have the best 
major, the best captains and the best cadet lieutenants, as well as the best bat- 
talion M. A. C. has ever seen. As a body we have never neglected our duties, 
have always stood well in our classes, and have all been trustworthy, capable 
and popular men. We have all shown remarkable business ability, have all been 
stricken with the darts of Cupid, and, incidentally, all had our pictures taken at 
"Buck's." Great things are expected of us, and we really believe that we will 
live up to our expectations. We all heartily wish each other the success in life 
which we no doubt so richly deserve, as witness the numerous responsible positions 
we have so honorably and worthily filled. We state the above not in a spirit of 
vain-glorious boasting, but as simple accepted facts, trusting that if after all our 
readers should be inclined to doubt us that they will take our word for it ! 

Meditons ! 



26 



GEORGE GROVER BECKER 

Horticultural 

"A snapper up of unconsidered trifles." — Shakespeare 

How such a tender infant came to survive the crushing congestion of crowded 
Baltimore is certainly at first sight a miracle to all. But we once hear that incon- 
gruous jabber of low German and high English and the problem is solved. Georgie's 
Germanic instincts have hitherto shown a marked preponderance over his culti- 
vated English propensities, in- 
asmuch as, like many another 
"would-be" scientist of the 
Fatherland, he is constantly 
"busy" collecting well-known 
bugs, common river pebbles, 
bum jokes, pointless mottoes 
and other inconsiderable trifles 
that happen along — all in the 
hope that some day the spirit 
of Poe may descend and lead 
him to the discovery of the 
"Gold Bug," and thus his 
name shall be written in the 
"Hall of Fame" as M. A. C.'s 
foremost scientist. 

We gasp as we think 
that twice he was almost lost 
to the entomological world! 
First, the stage claimed him, 
for Georgie was perfection 
itself in his droll imitation of 
' ' Dick, the Cook and the Roll- 
ing Pin" a la Uncle Remus. 
Then, again, he was threat- 
ened with the most incurable 
of maladies, the terrible disease of love; but our "cute little boy" never got any 
"decided results," for the maiden herself "decided." So Georgie went back to 
chasing bugs and she was left to another's tender care. 

The telling of what he will do at Cornell next year occupies all his hours of 
leisure ; and suffice it to say that, tho he is always late, always studying the wrong 
lesson, and always asleep when his turn comes to recite, Georgie has more college 
spirit to the square pound than any cadet living, besides possessing that ideal 
state of the Cabbite mind, a Senior sense of responsibility. 




27 



NORMAN EARLE BRICE 



Mechanical Engineering 

"His head is as full of quarrels as an egg is full of meat." — Shakespeare 

"Ape," the origin of this, his well-known nickname, is shrouded in mystery. 
Some say that it arose from his wonderful likeness to the tribe of Simians, and 
will cite you chapter on chapter from Darwin's "Descent of Man" to uphold their 
argument. Others as stoutly contend that no stigma attaches to the personage 

who bears this epithet, but that 
it is only an indirect method of 
comparing ye ancient town of 
Annapolis to a Congo jungle. Be 
that as it may, the worthy sub- 
ject of this sketch has always 
been known as the "Ape." 

"Ape" kept very quiet dur- 
ing his first two years at college, 
never participating in any social 
amusements, but in his Junior 
vear — oh, mv ! Someone whis- 
pered to him that he had the 
making of an excellent dancer, 
and so to develop this "trait" he 
charged down upon the class of 
'07 for dancing lessons. By his 
proficiency in this line he won 
the enviable title of "Tanzboden- 
koenig, "beating "Rube" out by 
at least twenty points. 

Everything went well with 

"Ape" until his Senior year, and 

then it was "Why in the world 

did I ever leave Newark?" I 

cannot surmise what happened 

there that summer, unless, unless — pshaw! Unjust accusation! I have often 

heard of indiscreet young men who occasionally fall into duck ponds and mill 

dams, but who under the sun would be so foolish as to fall in love? 

I think "Ape" has an idea that some day be will be a great engineer, as we 
have heard him talking of putting on his finishing touches at Cornell. We all 
wish him a bright future, yet I'm afraid that the last we shall hear of him is that 
he is traveling straight to — ruination? bankruptcy? No! but to Helen (a). 




28 



REUBEN BRIGHAM 



Agricultural 
"High houses are usuaUy empty in the upper story." — German Proverb 

Whom have we here? "A youth of some nineteen summers, with dull, blue 
eyes, tallow hair, the dimensions of a lath and remarkable quantities of voice." 
His nomadic childhood was spent in learning to speak German, and later he tried 
to Germanize the Japs, for which he was exiled by that warlike nation. "Shorty," 

as his name implies, had been 
destined for a small man, but his 
violent ejection from the country 
of his heart caused him to pro- 
long his upward growth until his 
head was hid amidst the clouds, 
thinking, like the ostrich, that if 
his head was covered his body , 
would be safe ! 

After the Yankee arrived at 

M. A. C. he gradually outgrew his 

timidity, and soon became famous 

^^ T-^^——^ ^s ^ candidate for the football 

^^___., . . ^^ ^H ^^^^HjJHH team, where he rose and fell in 

H^^^T^-^ HB ^ ^^^H three days, as a writer of criti- 

" ™ ^"^^^^^^ cisms, expositions and portrayals 

for a certain high-school girl, who 
forgot him as well as his writings 
after her graduation, and again 
as a dancer, only to be eclipsed 
bv the "Dancing King," our old 
friend the "Ape." "Reuben" 
(that is what the girls call him) 
is a specialist in "fine writing," 
and it imdoubtedly gives him a 
great mental shock to write a 
word of one syllable where he can use one of eight or ten. Such a sentence as 
' ' Mv cerebellum is a continuous and homogeneous mass of palpitating proto- 
plasm void of anv anatomical differentiation or systematization " is common 
conversation for this walking enclyclopedia. 

Looking forward we can see our friend Brigham living in isolated Montgomery, 
where, as a no-profits entreprenneur, he is engaged in raising pigeons and breed- 
ing bumble bees, while there appears weekly in the Sandy Spring Gazette this 
ad.: "Wanted — A Wife." Needless to sav, this will never be answered. 




29 



IvEVIN BOWLAND BROUGHTON 

Chemical 
"Bachelor, a peacock; betrothed, a hon; wedded, an ass." — Spanish Proverb 

BANG ! goes the stopper. Up starts a boiling stream of H2SO4, and the days 
of Frantz and the water bottle are with us again as the great Levin, the busy man 
of M. A. C, takes a speedy departure for the shower bath. "Land, I reckon that 
took the roof off all right," chuckles his irrepressible partner, for he has heard 

"Hubbie" unconsciously humming, 
"Last Night as I Lay on My Pillow," 
for the past half hour, and, as usual, 
the expected has happened. In 
running a determination, "Hubbie" 
had strayed from the beaten paths 
and indulged in the doubtful pleas- 
ure of planning "a cottage for two, " 
with the unavoidable reaction 
related . 

But "Lev" is not always 
thus, for he can use his brain to 
good purpose whether in Deutsch 
or Organic. Indeed, if by accident 
he should get into a tight fix in 
the latter, he has only to stir up 
his magnificent head of hair, snap 
his fingers imperiously, and presto! 
the Genius of Chemistry fetches up 
another ten to add to his valuable 
collection. And when it comes to 
using German references in his 
practical work, he invariably pre- 
fers the original language to the 
translation. So noticeable is his 
scholastic superiority that he has 
already been appointed professor in embryo of elementary chemistry to the 
"Shorthorn's," despite the fact that Paradis loafed about in citizen's clothes 
for nearly three weeks in hopes of cornering the job. 

"Dr." Broughton daily reminds us more and more of his worthy predecessor 
of happy memory, "Prof." Wharton, whose living image in physique and mental 
acquirements he is. Indeed, when "Lev," resplendent in dress suit and spotless 
tie, appears on the ballroom floor, we doubt if even the redoubted "Buck" ever 
equaled him in grace and dexterity. "Lev's" future is assured, for he has happily 
harmonized profession with pleasure; and in due time, upon the retirement of 
"Woodpecker" and "Chicken," we confidently expect that "Duckie," in con- 
junction with the "Crown Prince," will succeed to the O. C.-ship, in which coveted 
position he will, we hope, lead a charmed life against bottles, bombs and other 
such impedimenta. 

30 




HARRY CLIFTON BYRD 

Civil Engineering 

"The devil hath power to assume a pleasing shape." — Shakespeare 

"I tell you what," drawls a caressing voice, "you can take this for what it 
is worth or let it alone," and forthwith "Curly" has launched into a glowing 
panegyric on his native land, the Eastern Shore, "the fairest land that e'er a zephyr 
kissed or ocean bathed, the birthplace of greatness, the home of liberty, the land 

of partiotism, and the cradle of 
genius," and up we soar with 
"Curly" in his fiery flight. Heat 
waves surge about us in pulsating 
throbs, we gasp for breath in the 
rarified air and — "tap tap," the 
moderator's pencil checks our furi- 
ous course; the "windmill action" 
subsides, the atmosphere recovers 
its normal temperature and we are 
on terra firnia again. 

Did you ever enjoy the thril- 
ling sensation of seeing "Curly" 
pull himself out of a hole in the 
pitcher's box? No ! then look with 
me. With three men on bases, 
three balls, none out, and the oppos- 
ing rooters wild with excitement, 
"Curly" is in his element. Caress- 
ingly he pets the dusty sphere, 
shows his teeth to the spectators, 
grins amiably at his victim and — 
"Batter out," sings the umpire. 
The grin widens, the frenzied rooters 
cool down and then, with feline 
grace, "Curly" puts on the finishing 
touches, while his opponents wake up to the fact that he has been playing with 
them again. 

So when "Curly" grins, watch out. Something is sure to break. His paths 
are strewn with the broken hearts of guileless maidens whom he has "loved to 
death," he-siren that he is, and never has our handsome Don Juan been found "de 
trop" in feminine society; yet, in spite of his fondness for impromptu tete-a-tetes, 
we expect that he will soon settle down to domestic life with his "Sweet Hallie" 
and live happily ever after. 




31 



BARNEY REYBOLD COOPER 



Horticultural 

" It is a wise father that knows his own child." — Shakespeare 

Ye sons of modern Paradise I Ye aborigines of the Eastern Shore I Stand 
back and hark to thy friend from beyond the Chesapeake, for he would fain have 
speech with thee, even concerning one who in the days of his youth did sojourn 
in this land of bottomless sand. Surely, ye have heard of this prodigal son, he 

who, in the forefront of his gridiron 
warriors, did go forth and slay thy 
brethren, thev that came unto his 
house to give him battle. And that 
he did prevail over them and sorely 
oppress them so that they fled be- 
fore his face, even to the House 
Washington, which lieth within the 
walled citv of Chestertown. And 
lo ! their banners were with them 
not. 

Know ye that he of whom we 
speak was a great chief, for he did 
lay low all disorder within the house 
over which he was appointed, so 
that he walked withotit fear in the 
face of his people, ' ' traversing the 
halls and setting awhile among 
them." And it came to pass that he 
made covenant with the House of 
Jesse (N. Y. C. H.), in that as he 
commanded they brought him 
much revenue and coats of many 
colors, lest peradventure he should 
smite them and despitefully use 
them. 
Now listen, and ye shall know that this great chief shall not return to the 
land of his fathers, even unto the land of milky fogs and sandbars, for it shall be 
as it is written. "He shall dwell in the gardens of the Phillistines, he shall be a 
tender and dresser of vines unto one who shall give him his daughter as helpmate, 
and his garden shall be their garden, and it shall be known thruout the land as 
the Dale by the River." Now the rest of his acts and all that he did and all his 
might are thev not elsewhere recorded? 




32 



GROVER CLEVELAND DAY 

Civil Engineering 

"A goodly apple rotten at the heart." — Shakespeare 

The two leading exponents of the piscatorial art before the public to-day are, 
in our opinion, our worthy Ex-President and his scarcely less worthy namesake, 
Grover Cleveland Day. Indeed, ever since he was shipped rough-hewn from the 
serpentine ciuarries of old Harford, long famous for their "dilatory" production, 

the latter's favorite pastime has 
been angling for "tens," even to 
the extent of daily sojourning to 
the board in Calculus. Further, 
after acquiring a liberal (by which 
he means cheap) education, and 
mastering the "technicalities" of 
political economy, he anticipates 
fishing for dollars and votes. In 
short, he aspires to be a "Napo- 
leon" of finance and politics, the 
Rockefeller- Harrini an of Harford 
and the Western Shore. And when 
plaving at "hide and seek" wdth 
"Commie" during inspection, dodg- 
ing the snares of "Old Cab," or 
blufliing our worthy no-profits 
entrepreneur, he exhibits a re- 
markable aptitude for Napoleonic 
strategy. What truly imperial at- 
tributes are his! Blessed with a 
brilliant complexion like an ancient 
court beauty, a seductive laugh 
that resembles the cackle of a hen 
of the same age, and with a pro- 
boscial prolongation perspicuous to 
everyone, what an imposing figure our vernal Day w^ould make beside the "Little 
Corporal!" He is, we must admit, a man of high culture, a man with a lofty con- 
tempt for unfinished orators and disappointed lovers, a man whose literary 
greatness has too long been obscured in the arduous toil of "bumming" tobacco 
and plaving "pitch" for "Tommie's" pies. He is much given to sophistical 
argument, especially in regard to the payment of debts, and holds firmly to 
the proposition that "Base is the Slave that Pays." His favorite hobby is 
race suicide, and his principal failing a fondness for military discipline, a trait 
quite inexplicable in one who aspires to be the beau ideal of a self-made man. 




33 



JOHN WILLIAM FIROR 

Horticultural 

"Vain, very vain, my weary search to find that bUss which centers only in the mind." — Goldsmith 

A strange figure was old Diogenes hunting for an honest man among the 
ancient sons of Athens. But at length, amid the steep and barbarous wilds of 
Frederick, there has come into erratic existence a philosopher more profound, 
a conversationalist, more brilliant than even the anfractuous Diogenes himself. 

His, too, has been a "vain and 
weary search"; a fruitless, heart- 
breaking quest for that indefinable 
mystery of mysteries — ^^passionate, 
self-absorbing love. The first indi- 
cation of his "despicable" condi- 
tion was evinced when he adopted 
as his fallacious motto, ' ' Better to 
have loved and lost than never to 
have loved at all," and perpetrated 
on our astounded faculties his 
delectable "Life without Love." 
Then, armed with the irresistible 
magnetism of his dark, romantic 
eyes, he set about his merciless 
investigation into the simple hearts 
of womankind. His greatest stroke 
of diplomacy, however, was when 
he stood "attention" during the 
alluring strains of "Home, Sweet 
Home," and now, oftener than not, 
in response to his amorous glances, 
we hear some enchanted damsel 
blissfully murmur, "Waltz me 
around again, Willie." His recent 
study of Psychology has drawn him 
still deeper into these alluring depths, and he is now engaged in his crowning 
masterpiece, a careful analysis of the "Vagaries of a Girl of Sixteen." We might 
speak also of his power as a debater, of his skill as a pianolist, or of his well-meant 
attempt to reduce Brigham's bump of conceit and reconstruct his Yankee incon- 
gruities, but all must yield to his pronounced genius for building "castles in Spain." 
May they be realized ! May they resolve themselves, as he fervently hopes, into a 
cozy mountain cottage, beside whose cheerful hearth sits John William Firor, 
the eminent author and sociologist, and the fair incarnation of his college dreams, 
"a pretty, witty, charming She." 




34 



HARRY BENTON HOSHALT 



Mechanical Engineering 
"Very like a whale." — Shakespeare 

Stop! Look! and Listen ! Adjust your eye-glasses and look again, and you 
will observe that you have found a metazoan worthy of much investigation — 
and after you have looked long and pondered deeply how so much greatness 

could be so long kept in seclusion, 
a wee small voice will emanate from 
our clinic, saying, "Have a good 
time Xmas?" Then we are off. 
Our friend Hoshall, more familiarly 
known as "Harry," has proven to 
be a shining light at M. A. C, and 
the glory of his love affairs will 
illumine the pages of history long 
after he has obtained the dignity 
of an alumnibus. But right here I 
must state that the climax of his 
sporting prowess was reached when 
he used those "pretty eyes" to 
beat Guy Wisotzkey out at Hyatts- 
ville about the first of February. 

He is not only a decided suc- 
cess in affairs of the heart, but the 
conquests of his head and hand are 
no less marvelous. As the side 
partner and Siamese twin of our 
illustrious "Shammie," he is des- 
tined to play a great part in the 
mechanical advancement of the in- 
dustrial world. Even while I am 
penning this feeble testimony to his greatness, he is down in the Mechanical Build- 
ing, making more noise to the square inch than anybody in the class. His student 
days at M. A. C, however, are fast drawing to a close, and ere long we will be 
bidding him God speed to his native heath of Parkton, when, according to the 
Darwinian theory of evolution, he will have so far developed that he will be 
successfully operating his Simple, Reciprocating, Vertical Engine, the principles 
of which he imbibed at M. A. C. while swimming around with Catfish. 




35 



URAH WILLIS LONG 

General Science 

"Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." 

— Shakespeare 

On vour mark! Get set! And "Ury" is off — off thru Prince George's 
jungles and swamps, off by toadstools and ant hills, off in sunshine and rain. 
Gone in his long, stern chase after bugs, gone in the trail of "Sy." Forgotten are 

the lions (Lyons) that lie in wait. 
Forgotten are the "zips" that 
hang o'er his head. Forgotten the 
happy days of his youth in the 
strenuous race for a "dip" as June 
draws near. No wonder "Urv" 
looks on the dark side of things; 
no wonder he is always saving, "It 
will never be," as bugs on bugs — 
millions of bugs — haunt him by 
night and dodge him by day. But 
bugs beware! For "Ury" is fast 
and sure, a born "cribber" that 
needs no spur. 

Now, aside from the Hemip- 
tera, "Urv" is a most popular man, 
the natural result of a generous and 
sociable nature, and he has become 
a great man as well, verifying the 
adage that "Little pigs often eat 
great potatoes." Office upon office 
has been loaded upon him by his 
inconsiderate fellow-students, until 
he has become a regular clearing- 
house for thankless jobs. Indeed, 
"Ury" lives in constant dread of 
some fresh testimony of popular favor, certain that he is destined to flunk thru 
sheer popularity and "Sy's" unexampled generosity in filling his schedule. He 
is surely "destined" to flunk, and I hope I may never stir if he ever recovers 
from its harrowing effects. 

"Ury" is of a speculative nature and is deeply interested in stocks and bonds, 
being a heavy investor in the Riverdale Park Company, his returns usually coming 
via the Bugle Corps. In this connection we might mention at least one tow- 
headed rat in his extensive circle of acquaintances who calls him "Brother." 
His devotion to chaperons, to whom he is a thing of joy forever, is not exceeded 
by even their devoted Barney. But would you know "Brother" in his glory? 
Then behold him arrayed in Tuxedo and lemon-colored tie on the ballroom floor, 
forming a study in color with his fair Juliet of Hyattsville. 

36 




SAMUEL MacLEROY LOWREY 



Civil Engin ccring 

"Beware of a silent dog and still water." — Ancient Proverb 

Sam, called by some "Fancy," by others "Sleepy," and by a "former" 
"Dear Tutes," made the acquaintance of this joint, wearing a hat encircled by 
a vermilion band, habited in a pink vest upon a dapple gray background, and 
bearing upon his shoes unmistakable evidence of Rossville mud. Sam's 

greatness is undoubtedly attribu- 
table to an attack of brain fever, 
and it is a mystery to me how he, so 
retiring, so very, very bashful at M. 
A. C, could inflame a certain voung 
damsel to such an extent that she 
should write him letters of no less 
than seventeen finely-written pages, 
not once, nor twice, nor thrice, but 
seven times a week. 

Sam's debut upon the danc- 
ing floor was directly attributable to 
the artful machinations of his room- 
mate, the "Ape." It was at the 
May Ball of '07 that Sam for 
the first time condescended to 
"swing the ladies." Now at every 
dance he is a familiar figure among 
those who "trip it on the light fan- 
tastic toe." 

During his sojourn at M. A. C. 
vSam has made some very staunch 
friends, the chief est of whom is the 
Zodiac. Sam says that he has 
always possessed a peculiar fond- 
ness for the latter from his "rat- 
hood" up — a fondness that still lingers way down deep in his heart. It is pleas- 
ing to observe that Sam's kind feelings for the Zodiac are thoroughly recip- 
rocated by that austere gentleman, and if Sam is shipped before June we 
will have to seek the "Three Wise Men" for an explanation. 

Gossip reports that Sam is getting a swelled head over his intellectual 
attainments. We wonder if this is not due to his intimate association with Dr. 
Tollie? Sam says that he is going to make the other fellows at Boston Tech 
feel like twenty-nine cents when he enters that institution next year. He says 
he "can!" I wonder if "Dear Tutes" really can? We hope so, since he took 
great pains to tell somebody not "to make love too earnestly." Sam should 
practice what he preaches. 

37 




THOMAS BOURNE TURNER MACKALL 



Horticultural 

"A noisy man is always in the right." — Cowper 

From the fog-hidden swamps of Calvert there came to us in the last century 

the last of the great house of Mackall. There, as in other counties of Southern 

Maryland, the aborigines do not believe in race suicide, and we verily believe 

had it not been for the great ingenuity of his ancestry in securing suitable names 

(and suitable wives as 
well) "Rat" would have 
borne the unique cognomen 
of Mackall Mackall of 
Mackall. 

"Rat" is one of the 
sharpest thorns in "Cab's" 
crown, and we are often 
led to believe that he is 
charged with electricity, for 
many and deep are the fur- 
rows that it has made in that 
venerable brow. "Rat" 
belongs as well to that 
class of desperadoes who 
believe that good looks and 
volume of voice are more 
able to carry a point than 
strength of argument. Out- 
side of his devoted chaper- 
onage of our beloved Peter, 
we must place "Rat's" 
foraging capacity first 
among his good qualities. 
Hen roosts, celery beds, 
strawberry patches and the 
pantry — all — have come 
under his critical eye and 
expert hand. We do him 
honor, even as did the Israelites Moses of old, for many a time has he led us 
out of the wilderness to a land of plenty. 

"Rat" once "hitched his wagon to a star," and taking Emerson's advice 
before he had severed his connection with worldly affairs, serious trouble resulted. 
While in the lecture-room his star suddenly shot into ascendency, but "Cab" 
did not smile on him, and, in his efforts to maintain his eminent position as a lec- 
turer on forest problems, the rope broke and — we still have the remains of our 
"Rat." 




38 



EDWARD INGRAM OSWALD 

Horticultural 

"Oh, noble fool! Oh, worthy fool! Motley's the only wear!" — Shakespere 

Come, let us spend a day with Ingram, the "married man," for of all the busy 
men with which M. A. C. abounds he surely is the busiest. He is so very, very 
busy, and his davs are all such busy, busy days. Not a moment passes that he 
is not up and — bluffing! Usually rising at 7 A. m., he spends from a half hour 
to an hour in "dressing," carefully brushes his derby, and then trots up on his 

morning constitutional from the 
station to the college. After swal- 
lowing down his breakfast — Ingram 
used formerly to attend chapel, but 
of late his time has become too val- 
uable to indulge in stich frivolous 
dissipation — he, accordingly, hunts 
up the Editor, who is also a busy 
man, and who likewise does not at- 
tend chapel. The first period is con- 
sumed in Ingram's giving instruc- 
tions as to how he wants his next 
lecture written, and from that he 
branches off into a glowing descrip- 
tion of the Traveling Institute Car, 
with its salon and library in which 
he will make his "debut" as a lec- 
turer when the Editor has finished 
his lectures. Then he suddenly 
remembers that he is quite busy, 
but meeting the Scientist on the hall, 
he stops long enough to convince 
him that the sap "goes down" in 
trees with the coming of fall,altho he 
knew better five years ago when he 
began to "graduate." After dinner 
he spends a practical hour or two 
watching the effect of "digestion" on weed seeds, returning in time to trade off his 
latest gun metal "white tops" and superintend the distribution of the evening 
mail. Later he seeks out the Hermit in his Cave on the Roost, listens "attentively" 
while the latter recites his German, and, finally, as the lights blink, he gets ready 
to "go," and as they go out, Ingram is actually "gone," having spent a very stren- 
uous and enervating day for Ingram. 




39 



ELWOOD McAFEE PARADIS 



Chemical 

"Why, then, the world's mine oyster, which I with sword will open." — Shakespeare 

One of the few great sources of pride to the class of '08 is the precocity of 
Paradis. He is beyond doubt a marvel of wisdom, the epitome of all knowledge. 
Let anything go wrong, and he knows why. Let anyone do wrong, and he is there 

to correct them. Let the "Big 
Three " be in doubt, and he is there 
to advise them. Let him set about ■ 
making a military school or har- 
monizing class discord, and nothing, 
not even the Juniors, resident and 
visiting in "58," can stop him. 
\\"oe to him who crosses the path 
of Paradis — his days in the land 
are numbered. We bask in his 
smiles. We tremble at his frowns. 
His edicts are as absolute as the 
laws of the Medes and Persians. 
He is Czar of all he surveys. None 
escape his rigorous censure ; no, not 
even our honored major himself. 
Oh righteous judge! Oh, wise 
voung man, how we do honor thee ! 
In the classroom, as in military 
affairs, we recognize his master 
mind no less. It was he who, when 
an instructor asked what gas was 
found in beer, sternly rebuked him, 
saying, "Get thee behind me, Sa- 
tan." It is he who occasionally 
condescends to lend "Hubbie" a helping hand in planning his house. Nor may 
we fail to mention his unicjue beauty, his ambrosial locks, which have earned him 
the title of "The Last of the Mohicans," and whose care cause him so much trial 
and tribulation. It is this engrossing dissipation which hinders him from becom- 
ing an orator of the first water, tho we still live in hopes of hearing his "Political 
Integrity, the Safeguard of Nations," which so thrilled and startled Stockton 
in June of 1905. All honor to thee, greatest of RemsoniansI 




40 



EUGENE HERMAN PLUMACHER 

Civil Engineering 

"Sufferance is the badge of all our tribe." — Shakespeare 

"Gene," the first of the Plumachers (stepsons to "Cab" and aid-de-camps 
to Dr. TolHe), was discovered in the rough among the jungles of South America. 
He was caught, caged, and sent to the United States, where he has since flourished 

Hke a green bay tree, under the 
care of his keeper "Johnnie." Like 
his brother, he has a pecuHar fancy 
for Calculus, and is now editing a 
work entitled, "How to Learn Cal- 
culus by Absorption." In common 
with the rest of the inmates of this 
asylum, "Gene" has a weakness 
for "Cigar-Ritas," especially of the 
sweetheart Lillian brand. 

After graduation he intends to 
organize a "dago" army of seven 
men, invade his mother country, 
and put the ingrate Castro to death. 
His reasons for perpetrating this 
revolutionary measure are that the 
tyrant has confiscated the diamond, 
coke and coal mines on his father's 
plantation, thus cutting off a con- 
siderable proportion of his "princely 
revenue. ' ' Having divided the spoils 
and considered the pros and cons 
of marriage, he will then take unto 
himself a "creole charmante," in fact, a "Lily" of the Valley of the Nile, and, great 
savant that he is, will settle down to a peaceful life among the crocodiles of his 
native country. In conclusion, I will say that he is obeyed and respected by 
all; that he is a "hard" student, and that he is widely and favorably known 
for his open tobacco bag. "The Lord loveth a cheerful giver." 




41 



MIGUEL CARMEN PLUMACHER 



Ch'il Engineering 

"The civilized savage is the worst of all savages." — Weber 

This rare and curious specimen was caught in the forests of Venezuela by 
the American consul at Maracaibo and sent to this country to be tamed. For 
fear of losing such a valuable specimen of the biped group, it was sent duplicated ; 

that is to say, his twin brother was 
shipped along also. 

Mike, as we have christened 
him, has forsaken his former wi'd 
habits, becoming a thoroughly civil- 
ized and almost human being. His 
brother Jean is like him in every 
respect. They are so similar that 
very often they confuse each other. 
Sometimes Mike thinks that he 
is Jean, and Jean believes himself 
to be Mike. But when both 
want to be either Jean or Mike, 
there is a fuss, and the one who 
wins out assumes whichever iden- 
tity he prefers. 

Mike always studies his les- 
sons when the lights go out, 
because he says, "Calculus and 
Strength of Materials, look easier in 
the dark." He is very strong in 
mathematics, and altho he gets a 
few "zips" quite often, he does 
not pay any attention to them, 
because they are only minor details, and are given for convenience and uniform- 
ity's sake. 

Mike's greatest ambition is to become a civil engineer and bridge construc- 
tor. We are almost sure he will admit that none of us would dare to cross a 
bridge built by him, since we are not anxious to commit suicide yet. But to the 
public in general, which is not so timid, we recommend Mike's great bridges 
and viaducts, and we are sure that his great natural abilities in engineering will 
be very beneficial to mankind. 




42 



WALTER CAMERON REEDER 

Agricultural 

"A reasoning mule will neither lead nor drive." — Mallet 

What is this commotion we hear at the Cow Barn? Let's investigate; "Come 
in, boys! Come in! don't be afraid, the animals are all safely tied," calls the well- 
known voice of our Animal Husbandry Expert, Walter C. Reeder. But no sooner 

do we enter that uncouth place than 
we hear a terrible splash and sput- 
ter, and before us rolls a conglomer- 
ation of legs, arms, buckets, electric 
wires and straw. We fly to his assis- 
tance, and as Walter regains his feet 
we ask him what in the world he is 
trying to do ; whereupon he tells us 
that he is testing a new electrical 
machine of his own invention, but 
had forgotten to tie the old cow's 
legs, hence the embarassing accident. 
Aside from his duties as stock- 
man, Walter has spent some little 
time in developing his social being. 
His anxiety to become mingled in 
society first became evident when, 
as a Junior, he attended a dance 
given at our worthy President's. 
On that memorable occasion he fol- 
lowed the procession over the hill 
and sat squeezd up in a corner, 
"studying human nature." 
Concerning his future we are a little in doubt, but feel assured that after 
taking a post-graduate course in "Organic" (for altho common sense is a great 
help, one needs a little book-learning to keep the "rings" away) he will settle 
down on 'The Barrens" of Cecil and spend the remainder of his life in putting 
into practical use the "common-sense" methods learned at M. A. C. 




43 



CAESAR SOLARI REVOREDO 

Ciml Engineering 

"The smallest worm will turn being trodden on." — Shakespeare 

"Friends, Romans and Countrymen ! lend me your ears; I come to bury 
Caesar, not to praise him." Once upon a time, under the southern skies of Peru, 
it came to happen that there was born into the universe a minute being — and he 

was named Caesar Solari Rev- 
oredo. This young piece of 

humanity has since grown up to 
be a good-looking gentleman, of 
whom we are all proud and the 
ladies even jealous. 

Caesar is not an athlete nor a 
poet nor a musician, but he is a 
wonder in mathematics, and, outside 
of this stibject, "Cupid" is his only 
pastime. He smokes about twenty- 
one cigarettes a day; therefore, 
according to the laws of that dis- 
tant tropical country, he is a full- 
fledged citizen. How Mr. Solari 
happened to drift into this institu- 
tion I do not know, and we will 
never know, but he has always been 
a good student and, altho extreme- 
ly small in stature, he is highly 
respected. His chief delight is to 
watch his classmates do practical 
work, altho, strictly speaking, he 
is a man of "theory," not of "practice." Caesar's highest ambition has always 
been to become a military man, and we all hope that some day he will raise 
the standard of his native army by introducing the tactics learned at the 
Maryland Agricultural College. 




44 



ROBERT HENRY RUFFNER 



A gricultural 

"A saint abroad, a devil at home." — Ancient Proverb 

From "Ole Virginia, where they Hve so long and die so slow," came Robert 
Henry Ruffner, to cheer and delight the denizens of M. A. C with his thrilling 
tales of courtship days and hairbreadth escapes on the road. Notwithstanding 
three years spent at the historic William and Mary, where he acquired a dangerous 

fascination for the daugh- 
ters of Eve, and his superb 
delivery of "Lasca," which, 
along with Prof. Richard- 
son's lectures in parlia- 
mentary law, have become 
an annual event in the 
Hterary hfe of M. A. C, 
Bob is still a picturesque 
character. Owen Wister 
must have known Bob 
when he wrote the "Vir- 
ginian," for there could 
not be two persons so or- 
iginal, so entertaining and 
so successful in perpetrat- 
ing practical jokes. ' ' Hon- 
estly now," begins Bob 
to an admiring circle, and 
the "sucker" is as good 
as caught. Indeed, you 
might as well "take your 
medicine graceful," wheth- 
er you have to sit up all 
night in a strange hotel 
or are the victim of a 
"railroad detective" with 
a string of tin cups. 
But, as we were about to say. Bob couldn't resist the call of the farm, 
and from his arrival has been the trusty henchman of the "Corn King," whose 
staff and prop he is since Ingram became Vice-Director. Bob is a man of great 
energy, especially in his love affairs, which have not altogether prospered since 
that night when he returned from Georgetown in a desperate mood, and would 
have cremated the "Ape" had not the fuel given out. But surelv all will come 
right in the end, and "Robbie" will have that beautiful Virginia farm and that 
beautiful Virginia girl whose worth is to him as "pitchers of silver and apples 
of gold." 

45 




FRANK ERNEST RUMIG 



' General Science 
" Honest labor bears a lovely face." — Dekker 

Some years before our class struck the cinder path to M. A. C, a wild, scrawny 
little Dutchman wended his way along the same path. It never occurred to him 
that in the future he would become a great man, but he had no more than become 
partially domesticated, which took three long years, than, like all the rest of his 

nationality, he began to 
feel the importance of his 
position. In fact, this feel- 
ing took such a strong root 
in his system that, on our 
arrival, we took him to be 
no less a personage than 
the Vice-president or per- 
chance, the Professor of 
Bacteriology and Plant 
Physiology. He was al- 
ways the pride of his pro- 
fessors, and our own meagre 
attainments sank into ob- 
livion when such authorities 
as Prof. Tollie held him up 
before us as our mental 
ideal, basing his conclusions 
on the distance between the 
eyes of the specimen. 

When "at home " (a 
place where we have never 
been able to. find him) 
Rumig is a "plant doctor." 
In this capacity, we under- 
stand that of late the Crown 
Prince has been negotiating 
with him, and it would not 
be surprising to us if we 
were to hear of his making some valuable discoveries relative to ' ' Greenhouse 
Diseases." To write a satisfactory sketch of Rumig would be impossible without 
taking note of his extreme versatility, for he can talk with the greatest ease on 
any subject from the midnight manipulation of ice-cream to the most recent dis- 
sertations on Plant Pathology. For further information on this matter we refer 
you to the Pie-Merchant, his fellow-conspirator and grafter. 




46 



JOHN PAUL LYSIAS SHAMBERGER 

Mechanical Engiyieerdng 

"And still they gazed and still the wonder grew that one small head could carry all he knew." 

— Goldsm:tIi 

Among the heroes of Nineteen Eight, foremost stands our "hermit" captain, 
"the grave and reverend seigneur" John Paul Shamberger, builder of airships, 
electrical wizard and* general factotum to "Cab." A pigmy in stature but the 

"model" of "Commie" to the very 
roots of his close-cropped hair, we 
have need to regret our degenerate 
deeds when gleams the "light ar- 
tillery" of his eyes; when puckers 
his face in Saturnian frowns and 
thunders his "still small voice." 
Paul is study personified, and 
whether in language or science is 
good as the best of cribs, being 
constantly in a state of recitative 
overflow immenselv refreshing to 
his famished audience. Notwith- 
standing his versatile genius, Paul 
will insist in being a "little unfor- 
tunate" in his economic illustra- 
tions, failing utterly at times to 
start the delicate mechanism of his 
cosmic brain. His favorite policy 
is one of "passive resistance," es- 
pecially as concerns signing petitions 
and perpetrating practical jokes. 
Indeed, so taken up is he with his 
own un worthiness that, like Day, 
he invariably forgets to return bor- 
rowed property, however hard-up 
the "capitalist" may be. At present, his leisure hours are fully occupied in 
propelling Ingram thru Deutsch, constructing power-house chimneys, and attain- 
ing a "high school" proficiency in machine design. His aversion for female 
society fully justifies the belief that "now and then a man exquisitely made can 
live alone," and unless an angel comes down from the skies to share his joys and 
sorrows, we fear that after a few years of lucrative bluffing, Paul will hie him 
with Hoshall, his man Friday, to some desert island, there in lonely solitude to 
indulge in his innate laziness and pursue his chosen avocation of evolving Spen- 
cerian theories and practicing the extensive cross-pollination of reasoning mules. 




47 



RICHARD LEE SILVESTER 

Horticultural 
"A king's son is no better than his company." — Gaelic Proverb 

To slide down the edge of a rainbow and then miss the proverbial pot of gold, 
is, to say the least, a unique experience. So great a sensation did Richard Lee 
Silvester create in his spectacular descent that St. Mary's woke up and took notice 
for the first time since the Settlement of Jamestown, and even to-day, the date 

of his miraculous appearance 
is a fiercely debated question 
among those quiescent aborig- 
ines. Dick was, however, soon 
transported to the delightfully 
barren environs of College Park, 
there to become at a tender 
age the Czarevitch of the M. A. 
C. With this institution he 
graciously affiliated himself in 
the early nineties, and is now 
unquestionably its oldest in- 
habitant. He has failed to 
inherit the parental propensity 
for mathematics and "fine" 
writing, but the parental "front 
of Jove himself, with eyes like 
Mars to threaten and command" 
is plainly evident. Richard is 
a social favorite of no mean 
standing and has always shown 
an expressed preference for 
"white" company despite fre- 
quent encounters with cooks, 
chamber - maids and other 
"shady" menials. Truly, the 
merry adventures of "Dick" and the Chambermaid, will live in our memories 
long after his discovery of the chemical formula for electric currents and the 
nature of "air bubble" spores are forgotten. As a gentleman farmer in fair 
St. Mary's, we feel assured that "Dick" will make good, whether, Wood-pecker- 
like, hunting for snipes, carrying out his startling theories regarding the heat- 
ing of cold storage plants, or, as formerly, assiduously cultivating Burr(oughs) 
and Berries. 




48 



WILLIAM ANDERSON SHIPMAN SOMERVILLE 

Mechanical Engineering 

" I am but a gatherer and disposer of other men's stuff." — Wolton 

" 'Tis an excellent fit! An exceedingly quick fit! Fits like paper on the 
wall!" And yet "Fallacious Bill" adduces arguments to the effect that the days 
of miracles are past! I am inclined to think that once more, he will 

be swamped in huge waves of de- 
monstrated facts. For, lo ! is it 
not a miracle to make the nether 
garments of the petite George fit 
the giant frame of "Tubby?" And 
is it not miraculous that in "Stub- 
by's" hands the cast-off coat of 
"Teeny" should cling to the little 
body of "ChuChu" as if tailor- 
made? Truly, such transformations 
as these cannot be set aside by a 
wave of the hand ! 

We call him ' 'Stubby," not that 
"Stubby" is "short," but because 
"Stubby" is short. His most strik- 
ing characteristic is his nose, not 
that he uses this highly respected 
organ as a weapon of defense, nor 
yet of offense, but "striking" in the 
sense of prominence. And prob- 
ably his most "retiring" one is his 
hair. Like our disappearing forests, 
its frontier has been pushed back 
farther and farther each year until 
now only a few veterans, sole survi- 
vors of the ravages of time stand like sentinels on the anterior portion of his cranium. 
Out of curiosity, I once calculated the economic loss resulting had we taken 
time by the forelock and always pronounced "Stubby's" full name when we ad- 
dressed him. The result was astonishing. Taking three and one-half cents 
as the "real" value of a cadet's hour, I find that during the past four years, by the 
use of this handle, we have saved just nine dollars and thirty-seven cents, or 
enough, we believe, to enable Grover Day to buy a suit of clothes and incorporate 
himself. 




49 



HARRY WILCOX STiNvSON 

Mechanical Engineering 
"Of all men else I have avoided thee.'-' — Shakespeare 

It was a strenuous night in 1904. The wind howled and produced the most 
terrific noises among the forest trees of College Grove. All nature was revolu- 
tionized as if by a magic hand, and even the canines of nearby Berwyn seemed 

to manifest by their noisy barks 
that something unusual was going 
on as H. W. Stinson entered the 
portals of M. A. C. Mr. Stinson 
immediatelv initiated himself as a 
"rat," and he was conferred a per- 
manent membership by that asso- 
ciation. He is now "king of the 
rats," and is obeyed and respected 
accordingly by all of them. 

Stinson's favorite pastime is 
to quarrel with Grover, his room- 
mate. They are both excellent de- 
baters and their favorite point of 
issue is, "Which of the two wears 
the shorter pants." Why "Stink" 
came to select Grover for his room- 
mate nobody knows, but it is 
perhaps due to the fact that they 
naturally profess the same feelings 
and ambitions. 

Stinson selected the Mechanical 
Engineering course, and upon well 
founded reasons has he done so. As a smoker he has no match and no matches, 
and we are now expecting him to design a factory which will produce more 
tobacco in one day than Caesar can bum in a week. He is, strictly speaking, a 
military man, and his air and manner of walking about the barracks suggests to 
us the great Napoleon. We congratulate the young officer and sincerely hope that 
his highest ambition of becoming captain of Company C will soon be culminated. 




50 



CHARLES WESLEY vSYLVESTER 

Aleck a nic a I Engineering 
"The glass of fashion and the mould of form, the observed of all observers." — Shakespeare 

"Oh look who's here!" Charlie Sylvester, ex-manager of the Barnes- 
Eggleston Co., Eastern Shoreman by birth, tailor's model by profession, and ama- 
teur matinee idol, well known for his loud socks and handsome figure. Do the 
ladies love him? "Yes, man!" From the cradle up they adore, they worship 

him, and when he marries (some 
time next June) he will have pots 
full of money a house full of clothes, 
and a looking-glass in every room. 
Charlie must have taken lessons 
in deportment from Chauncey De- 
pew himself, for when it comes to 
responding to public favors, he has, 
"Gentlemen, I thank you, etc.," 
down to a fine point. He surely has 
the making of an after-dinner speak- 
er, altho at present he is busy col- 
lecting leap-year proposals, attend- 
ing chapel on Sundays, and giving 
"Barney" photographic stimulants 
for chronic heart disease. How 
Charlie came to be filled with 
such a great love for M. A. C. and 
his illustrious namesake as to think 
of coming back next year to finish 
his thesis under "Catfish" we do 
not know, unless, as usual, there is 
"a woman in the case." We all 
know he is a bright boy; for if he 
doesn't make a ten in Econo- 
mics or Deutsch every day or so, 
the book must be wrong or he can't find the right place. Now, just to proceed, 
ask Charlie if he is going to join the Philippine Constabulary, and you will get 
a prompt, "H — 1, no, do you think I am going to be a target for 'Dagoes' 
forever?" Just the same, if present prospects hold out and breach of promise 
suit doesn't break in we expect to see Charlie, one of these days, on his private 
yacht, touring the Orient in polka-dot hat and low-cut shoes, with Broughton as 
chef and Shamberger chief engineer. 




51 



WALTER HENRY THOMAS 



Horticultural 
"They that touch pitch will be defiled." — Shakespeare 

The life history of this " wooly-headed aphis," previous to coming to M. A. C. 
from the land which "God has blest " (Charles Co.), is hidded in fabulous obscurity. 
"Tommy," for such our friend is called, at once applied himself to diligent study, 
and tho afflicted with "chromatic pseudodopsis, " became foremost in such issues 

as "raising' strawberries, 
getting chickens and making 
ice cream. Indeed, if the 
truth were known, much 
of his "midnight oil" was 
burned in sacrifice to his 
gastronomic predilections in 
"60," New Building. 

But the depredations 
noted above put no check 
upon his power of learning. 
He seemed to associate those 
two incongruities — studying 
and raiding — into a most 
harmonious union. With 
brilliant prospects before him 
and with the goal almost in 
sight. Tommy's aspirations 
suddenly suffered a severe 
shock. "It" was a condition 
in Deutsch. Now, "Tommy" 
was a good student, an "ad- 
mirable" theme writer, but 
a poor Deutschman ; finally, 
by dint of great perseverance, 
he managed to pull thru, and 
the rest is now "plain sail- 
ing." 
"Tommy," or, as he is familiarly called, "Bryan," has shown during his 
Senior year great business capabilities. These arose, we believe, from "snatching 
nickels" the past summer. He still snatches nickels, but not quite so rapidly as 
before. He also has a way of twisting his answers like the old oracle at Delphi, 
so that the "Prof," in trying to "get at" what "Bryan" is "driving at," simply 
gives him the cue to the whole thing. One word in parting — now that he has his 
college training, "What will he do with it?" 




NATHANIEL LUFF WARREN, Jr. 

Civil Engineering 
"He that hath a head of wax should not walk in the sun." — Proverb 

"Tell vou, fellows!" when vSenatorless Delaware fused together the super- 
fluous energy of both her upper counties (the third being submerged at the time) 
to produce an evolutionary imitation of the native species (Aboriginus swamp- 
iensis) she was making old Darwin and the "survival of the fittest" feel ghostlv. 

When this variegated specimen 
had spent sixteen foggy winters in 
his native land he was sent across 
the waters of Maryland to our noted 
institution. There he began his 
arduous search for the desired eclat 
and finish, so that when his college 
career is over he will be found to 
possess numerous acquired char- 
acters. So numerous, in fact, that, 
were a poet to sing the resume of his 
life, allowing the sweet refrain to 
float across the sunny lands of 
France, the stern military Lamarck 
would rise in his cold grave and give 
forth a peal of laughter that would 
send back the echo from the Alps 
and Pyrenees. 

There was, indeed, excitement 
when, in the fall of '04, there ap- 
peared an elongated "rat," with 
window frames strung across his 
nose. Great was the rise of this 
one, for he soon became Dr. Tollie's 
right-hand man, but lost his thank- 
less position in an attempt to usurp 
the Doctor's chair while his Majesty was without ; and still greater was the wonder- 
ment when he made his appearance upon the track. So great, indeed, that in one 
meet in which "Nervy" entered for the mile, he was, miraculous as it seems, the 
greatest thing there. Even after aU the spectators had left he was still running 
that mile. When it is too cold to run Warren spends his time in studying vocal 
music under "Paderewski" Firor, and we are beginning to realize that our class- 
mate is certain to become famous in a combination of grand opera and fast 
sprinting. 




53 



CARROLL AMBROSE WARTHEN 

Civil Engineering 
"He was in logic a great critic, profoundly skilled in analytic." — Butler 

The wise Solomon in all his glory was not endowed as is this long-winded 
prodigy from the sand hills of Montgomery. "Buck" strongly resembles the 
"Old Man of the Sea," strangling you with bad jokes and hum-drum adventures. 

His handsome features possess that 
"ice-cream" effect common to all 
pedants, and to listen to his pre- 
tentious claims one would suppose 
him to be an architect and builder 
equal to the late Stanford White. 
Road construction is another of his 
strong points, and we expect him to 
have charge of the drag roads in 
Charles County, which are being 
forever agitated by our "pie mer- 
chant . " " Buck ' ' has highly honored 
our class by filling the vacancy 
made by the sudden disappearance 
of Johnnie, and we think this a 
fine conjunction of the time, the 
place and the man. 

He is a member of the Talifer- , 
roian order, a cold-blooded Repub- 
lican, and a great exponent of 
forensic oratory, which latter usual- 
ly begins with that insinuating 
abortion of a smile and a confidential, "Now, Doctor." According to his 
own professions, "Buck" is a great admirer of the fair sex, but from the rumors 
floating to us, we must, indeed, doubt whether his little virgin heart has ever been 
touched by the pangs of love. In his early youth he was a great hero, and we ex- 
tend our sympathies to those who have suffered by his j'outhful pranks. We also 
wish to tell them as a balm to their wounded sensibilities that he himself has met 
defeat at the hand of the grim specter Calculus. 




54 



ROGER AUSTIN WILSON 

Civil Engineering 

"That he is mad, 'tis true, 'tis true, 'tis pity and pity 'tis, 'tis true." — Shakespeare. 

"I may be crazy, but I am no fool," rolls a rich baritone voice, and Roger, 

dear, for the fifth time this week, boards the last car out for college. The other 

two nights he spent skating with "Uncle Barney" from taps to reveille. "The 

water was fine," so Roger says. Roger is somewhat "cracked," but he sure can 

sing since he joined the 
"Light Brigade" (Senior 
class), and before the 
"lunatics" assembled ex- 
pressed his desire to "raise 
a little 'Jack and Jill' to 
fetch a pail of water." 
"Go back to the farm and 
get married," said Roger, 
"that's the proper spirit! 
Cab's not afraid of us." 
And we all went, or rather 
would have "went" had 
not the Zone intervened. 

But his sad condition 
is not altogether Roger's 
fault. Hyattsville had a 
hand in it. Roger used 
to be much "Bent-on" 
the "Ville," but accidents 
will happen. The "elite" 
gave him a bid and he 
lost his partner. They 
kindly gave him another. 
She was little, cute and 
sweet ; dimensions, two by 
four — just Roger's style — 
and dance — ye gods ! — how she could dance ! The first round took off the polish, 
the second trimmed off the edges, and at the beginning of the third, with three- 
quarters more to go, Roger yielded up the ghost. Some say that he hobbled out 
the door; some that he flew out the window, but, be it as it may. Brother found 
him and the "lemonized" Paderewski down by the car track two hours later 
singing in sad refrain, "Thank God, I'm free> no wedding bells for me." But 
"College" calls the conductor, and the Flower of the "Addishes" vanishes in 
the darkness, while there comes floating to us, in blood and thunder tones, "I'm 
from Texas and you can't steer me." 

55 




College Ode 



Our college dear, of thee we sing, 

M. A. C! My M. A. C! 
And loyal hearts we gladly bring, 

M. A. C! My M. A. C. ! 
In memory fond thy name shall cling. 
Throughout the land thy praise shall ring, 
So to the breeze your banner fling, 

M. A. C! My M. A. C! 

Thy sons have e'er been true to thee, 

M. A. C! My M. A. C. ! 
And greater yet their love shall be, 

M. A. C. ! My M. A. C. ! 
When records of our deeds they see, 
If we obey their every plea 
And keep unstained thy history, 

M. A. C. ! My M. A. C. ! 

In wisdom's hall or on the field, 

M. A. C! My M. A. C! 
To vaunting foe we ne'er shall yield, 

M. A. C! My M. A. C! 
For in our lives shall be revealed 
Those inspirations that appealed 
To feelings true by you unsealed, 

M. A. C! My M. A. C! 

While other banners wave on high, 

M. A. C! My M. A. C! 
And brighter colors greet the sky, 

M. A. C. ! My M. A. C. ! 
The orange and black shall ever fly, 
And heights of fame they shall decry. 
Who guard thee with a loving eye, 

M. A. C! My M. A. C! 

Oh, let us then, to her be true, 

M. A. C. ! My M. A. C. ! 
Her high and noble aims pursue, 

M. A. C! My M. A. C! 
And let us dedicate anew. 
Our lives to every service due. 
That may thy glorious fame renew, 

M. A. C. ! My M. A. C. ! 

G. S., '05 
L. F. Z., '06 



56 



Junior Class 



C. F. Mayer President 

T. D. Jarrell Vice-President 

J. Q. A. Hollo WAY Secretary-Treasurer 

L. E. Gilbert Historian 

Class Motto 
"Labor omnia vincit." 

Class Colors 
Yale Blue and White. 
Class Yell 
Rickety! Rockety! Ric, Roc, Rah! 
Chee-hing, Chee-hing, Chee-ha-ha-ha ! 
Tigah! Tigah! Sis, boom, bah! 
Rickety! Richety! Ric, Roc, Rine, 
Junior, Junior, 1909! 

Class Roll 

J. A. Allison Washington, D. C. 

W. Boyle Washington, D. C. 

P. E. Burroughs , Croome, Md. 

H. M. Coster Solomons Island, Md. 

E. N. Cory Takoma, Md. 

F. H. Dryden Pocomoke City, Md. 

R. E. DuPUY Pacasmayo, Peru, S. A. 

L. E. Gilbert Laurel, Md. 

J. S. GoRSUCH Towson, Md. 

J. P. Griffin Highland, Md. 

L. J. Hathaway Easton, Md. 

J. O. A. HoLLOWAY Rosaryville, Md. 

J. E. Haslup Savage, Md. 

J. O. JarrEll Greenshore, Md. 

T. D. JarrEll Greenshore, Md. 

M. KoENiG Baltimore, Md. 

R. F. MacEnany Clear Spring, Md. 

C. W. R. Maslin Port Chester, N. Y. 

Md. 
Md. 
Md. 
Md. 



C. F. Mayer Frostburg 

B. D. Spalding Churchville 

A. C. Turner vSollers 

C. E. Tauszky Baltimore 



58 



History of the Class of 1909 



'Twas September of 1905, three years ago, when we wended our way upward 
through the labyrinth of winding drives to the old gray barracks on the hilltop, 
and realized for the first time that we were college men. I say we realized it, 
or, rather, thought we did ; but those hale and hearty lads who were waiting to 
greet us were evidently of a different mind, tho why, I cannot say; and after 
dubbing us each in turn as "rat," proceeded to lend an air of enchantment to the 
scene by "putting us wise" to a few rules that were "for our good alone." Un- 
fortunatelv for you, gentle reader, time has effaced the memory of all, save such as 
were worthy of a fanning accompaniment. Well, we lived through it — the jig, the 
cold shower, the broom scrub, etc., and ere long felt entirely at home. The college 
spirit now thrilled us, and the football squad was not complete without our quota 
of men. The holidavs came and went with marvelous rapidity, it seemed, and 
when the baseball and track seasons opened, lo I there were we also. Soon Easter 
was upon us, and then the end of our "rat" year loomed up most pleasantly 
in the future, and ere long we were speeding safely homeward. 

The next year found us Sophs, and right acceptable Sophs we made, 
too. We found also that nearly a score of new men were come to swell our roll. 
Oh! how we made the "rats" and infants of "10 stand 'round. To them we laid 
down the law and laid on the paddle; unless, perchance, they deserved it not. 
And, likewise, in the matter of cold showers, midnight raids, class rushes and other 
equally important functions, we became active, and not passive as we had been 
heretofore. The pigskin once more called forth the prowess of the school, and we 
were there, as usual, with quality and quantity. Many a game was won and many 
a touch-down made by the sturdy manhood of those of 1909. Even the famous 
Hallow'een was not without our patronage, and here, too, were we generous. 

Soon Christmas came, first with "exams" and then with "turkey and cran- 
berrv sauce" for the "rats," and good wishes on every side. Home for a fort- 
night or so, and then back once more to resume the reins of government. From 
now on until athletics again claimed our time and attention we continued to 
brighten life by numerous pantry raids, guard tours, Sunday visits to "Cab," 
"Commy," and "Johnny Green." The Rossbourg Club also profited by our gen- 



60 



erosity, and not infrequently the ballroom responded to the touch of the "artis- 
tically inclined" of '09; and once, 'tis said, the chexnical lab and the water 
tank felt that same inspired hand. But hold ! the track and diamond now called 
us out, and those of us who did not play rooted with a vim and vigor that did its 
part in lifting the banners of victory above our heads. Soon, however, the pros- 
pects of the two weeks' camp at Jamestown filled us with thrills of anticipation, 
and for weeks we led our squads as squads had never been led before. 

Those days at the exposition were days long to be remembered, diversified 
as they were by daily drills, excursions and what not. But the best of it all 
was the trip down with our shipmates. Hail to thee, thou fairest of creatures! 
Yet, like thy numerous sisters, thou didst fall an easy prey to the hearts of 1909. 
Ere long home greeted us again, not, however, until we had enlivened the June 
ball by our presence. 

Ah, the third of September finds us back within the gray walls of our future 
alma mater, serene and dignified, no longer underclassmen, but Juniors, quantity 
sufficient and quality superfine. Again we were reinforced, and again did our duty 
upon the gridiron. Ere a month had slipped away, however, we, with the rest 
of the cadet battalion, found a hearty welcome during Old Home-coming Week 
in the Monumental City, a credit to the State whose flag fluttered over our heads. 
Nothing of note followed until the trodden paths of our predecessors were turned 
aside from and we our Junior banquet did celebrate. Heavens, that spread! 
How we lived in anticipation thereof, and now, 'tis a thing of the past, we revel 
in its memory, for stand it must a monument to the class of 1909. 

Historian, '07 




61 



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63 



Junior Ode 



My M. A. C. of thee I sing, 

My Alma Mater true ; 
No matter where I ever roam, 

I'll always dream of you; 
Those good old days, 

Old college days, 
Bring back fond memories; 

' ' I love you still 
And always will, 

My dear old M. A. C." 



Life passes quickly as a dream, 

With all its joy and care, 
But as I look back to the past 

I see a vision fair. 
■Those gray old walls rise once again, 

Old days rush back to me; 
"My heart must thrill, 

For naught can still. 
My love for M. A. C." 



But in the years to come we'll meet, 

And laugh at Father Time, 
For naught can ever separate 

The Class of Naughty Nine. 
So here's a toast to college days 

And all dear memories: 
"In blood red wine, 

Of soul divine. 
We'll drink to M. A. C." 



64 




H. C. Evans President 

J. P. Grason Vice-President 

M. Roberts Secretary 

H. S. CoBEY Historian 

Motto 
Palmam Qui Meruit Ferat. 

Colors 
Green and White. 

Class Yell 
Rexa! Raxi! Rip, rap, ram! 
On the top we always stand. 
Suda ! Carlo ! Vo, van, vim ! 
Sophomore ! Sophomore ! 1 9 1 o ! 

Roll 

C. Adams Takoma Park, D. C. 

H. H. Allen Towson, Md. 

C. R. Andrews Hurlock, Md. 

P. R. Barrows Berwyn, Md. 

J. W. Bauer Havre de Grace, Md. 

R. B. Berry Laurel, Md. 

E. H. Bounds Mardella Springs, Md. 

A. C. BreedEn Sollers, Md. 

R. H. Carpinter Washington, D. C. 

C. Carazo Costa Rica. 

J. C. Crapster Taneytown, Md. 

H. S. CoBEY Grayton, Md. 

W. P. Cole Towson, Md. 

J. L. Donaldson Berwyn, Md. 




CO 

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Pi 

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J. W. DucKETT Davidsonville, Md. 

H. D. DoAK Darby, Pa. 

C. R. Drach New Windsor, Md. 

H. C. Evans Lonaconing, Md. 

W. J. FrERE ■ . . Tomkinsville, Md. 

V. GoRSUCH Mt. Carmal, Md. 

J. P. Grason Towson, Md. 

S. D. Gray Nanjemay, Md. 

C. E. Hamilton La Plata, Md. 

T. S. Harding Laurel, Md. 

C. A. Hicks Cambridge, Md. 

R. HoEN Richmond, Va. 

J. H. HoGE Baltimore, Md. 

J. O. Keeauver ....'.. Middleton, Md. 

H. B. Langdon Cbarlestown, W. Va. 

D. C. Malcolm Washington, D. C. 

S. Martinez Honduras. 

F. J. Maxwell Comus, Md. 

W. C. D. MuNSON South Britain, Conn. 

W. E. OsBOURNE Baltimore, Md. 

E. H. Price Washington, D. C. 

M. Roberts Washington, D. C. 

L. M. Roe Wye Mills, Md. 

S. San Roman Peru, S. A. 

W. S. Saunders Luray, Va. 

T. R. Stanton Grantsville, Md. 

S. S. vStablER Brighton, Md. 

L. Steepens Baltimore, Md. 

C. W. Strickland Snow Hill, Md. 

B. R. TiMANUS Laurel, Md. 

L. G. True Washington, D. C. 

M. E. Tydings Havre de Grace, Md. 

B. R. Value Pocomoke City, Md. 

H. M. Walters Pocomoke City, Md. 

F. R. Ward Baltimore, Md. 

C. F. WennER Brunswick, Md. 

H. J. White College Park, Md. 

J. R. White Poolesville, Md. 

W. W. Whiting Hyattsville, Md. 

M. H. WooLFORD Cambridge, Md. 



67 



History of the Class of 1910 

In one of the smallest rooms of the M. A. C. barracks, on a scorching hot 
September night, in the year 1906, the Freshmen were holding their first class 
meeting. The important business of electing class ollQcers was hardly half com- 
pleted when the Sophs were heard coming down the hall ! Most of us knew what 
that meant, and the "rats" who did not soon found out. We piled all the fur- 
niture of the room against the door, and to this added our combined weight. 
The Sophs rushed the door many times, but as our strength was greater than 
theirs, the attempt to break up our meeting was unsuccessful, and we finished 
our organization without further interruption. This was the beginning of the 
history of the class of 19 10. 

We soon became acquainted with the "old boys" and with each other, and 
fell into the regular routine of college work. In the classroom we made an excellent 
record, and on the football field many of our men became very successful players, 
several, indeed, making themselves indispensable members of the first team. 
Without the aid of the Freshman members our team would hardly have won the 
intercollegiate championship banner in 1906. 

The monotony of every-day college life was broken in upon on Halloween 
night by half the M. A. C. battalion, the Freshman class included, spending the 
night in the Hyattsville lock-up. We had disturbed the peaceful slumbers of the 
worthy citizens of that lawabiding village, and they retaliated in the person of 
their most gentlemanly constable, who graciously invited us to rest our weary 
heads upon the soft spots of a cold brick floor, and breathe the refreshing fumes 
of gasoline for the remainder of the night. By the continuous flourishing and 
occasional discharging of several revolvers he and his posse persuaded us to accept 
his invitation. After many long and gloomy hours day began to break, and 
things on the outside assumed a more cheerful aspect. The county judge came 
upon the scene about sunrise, held a trial, and fined us $3.75 each for disturbing 
the public peace. But we were willing to pay any price to be relieved from that 
place of departed spirits — for our jubilant spirits of the night before had surely 
departed. 

After this expedition, needless to say, we appreciated more fully the pleasures 
attendant on every-day college life. 



68 



Easter brought us a short but welcome hohday, before the final struggle for 
high scholastic standing, for perfect execution of the military tactics that had 
been taught us during the fall and winter, and for success on the athletic field. 

The final examinations showed that a large majority of our class were fully 
prepared to become Sophomores. Some who were not bravely labored at their 
books through the summer months and made up their conditions. After exam- 
inations came a week of camp life at Jamestown, which we enjoyed to the fullest, 
and, returning, only commencement week separated us from home. That week 
is the happiest of all the school year; everyone is in a pleasant state of mind 
and is in harmony with everyone else. 

It is the latter part of September, 1907. The angel of silence, who had 
reigned in the stately halls of M. A. C. barracks for three short months, has flown ; 
and the spirit of human action again prevails. We are back again, and for the 
first few days confusion reigns. By degrees we get settled. Each of us learns 
who of our last year's friends are back and who have not returned. We find 
that only a few members of our class have dropped out, their vacancies being 
filled by new students, who have proven a most valuable addition. 

The history of the educational and athletic achievements of our Sophomore 
year is but an elaborate repetition of Freshman history, tho unique among the 
football games of last season was the Freshman-Sophomore game. Interest ran 
high on both sides, and it was a close game, and tho the Freshmen had great 
advantages over us, we won the day. 

About the last of October a restless, mischievous spirit seemed to pervade 
the student body, especially the Sophomore and Freshman classes. Our faculty, 
not deeming it wise for the M. A. C. battalion to pay its annual Halloween respects 
to the town of Hyattsville, induced us to hold a bonfire oyster roast on the campus. 
Several members of the faculty were present, and evidently enjoyed themselves 
thoroughly. After the roast there was a grand class rush between the Sophs 
and Freshman. There was some sturdy slugging on both sides, and both claimed 
the victory. 

The steady march of 19 10 for the year 1907-8 is nearing its end. May the 
Junior historian take up this record where I have left ofi", may he tell of still more 
wonderful achievement, to the honor of class of 19 10. 

Historian, '10. 



69 



Freshman Class 




Dixon Garey President 

Stanley Hoen Vice-President 

Joseph W. Daley Secretary 

D. Wilson Glass Historian 

Colors Motto 

Blue and Yellow. Semper Primus. 

Class Yell 
Hobble, Gobble, Bing, Bang, Bung! 
Hoia, Hoia, Double One! 




CO 

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Cfl 



Class Roll 

W. M. AiKENHEAD Easton, Md. 

L. J. Aman Hyattsville, Md. 

J. B. Benson Buffalo, N. Y. 

E. Boss Laurel. Md. 

H. J. Bradshaw Deal's Island, Md. 

T. R. Brooks Washington, D. C. 

J. M. Burns Morgantown, W. Va. 

J. E. Byers Laurel, Md. 

C. B. Church Washington, D. C. 

N. L. Clark Laurel, Md. 

J. N. Daley Baltimore, Md. 

T. Davidson Davidsonville, Md. 

H. R. Devilbiss New Windsor, Md. 

A. B. DucKETT Bladensburg, Md. 

J. F. E. Fields Hancock, Md. 

D. GarEy Denton, Md. 

D. W. Glass Baltimore, Md. 

S. HoEN Richmond, Va. 

J. M. JovA Saguela Grande, Cuba 

N. G. Jump Chestertown, Md. 

J. N. KiNGHORN Baltimore, Md. 

W. KiNKAiD Middletown, Pa. 

G. A. Lankford SaHsbury, Md. 

P. R. Little Funkstown, Md. 

C. B. LuNN Baltimore, Md. 

H. F. Mangum Baltimore, Md. 

E. A. MuDD Cheltenham, Md. 

E. Newcomer Benevola, Md. 

E. NydeggER Tampa, Fla. 

N. J. Padgett Baltimore, Md. 

W. E. Severe Riverdale, Md. 

N. L. Shipley Berwyn, Md. 

L. Mc. Silvester Portsmouth, Va. 

A. Sonnenburg Bladensburg, Md. 

L. H. StalEY Washington, D. C. 

R. D. Thomas Pomonkey, Md. 

H. Thompson ' Riverdale, Md. 

B. Timanus Laurel, Md. 

R. L. ToLSON Colesville, Md. 

I. L. Towers Chevy Chase, Md. 

V. K. Trimble Mount Savage, Md. 

C. E. Twaddell Philadelphia, Pa. 

W. H. Walters Pocomoke City, Md. 

F. M. White Dickerson, Md. 

W. H. White College Park, Md. 

72 



Class History of 1911 



In the fall of nineteen hundred and seven, we came to the Maryland Agri- 
cultural College, eager to attain the coveted knowledge that it offers. We were 
about fifty in number who entered the class to begin their life's work in many 
different branches of science. From the seashore to the highland, from the 
cities and the farms our class has drawn its men, each one moved with a desire 
to make success for himself and this institution. 

Arriving at the little station of College Park, our first thoughts were of the 
buildings mounted on the high hill to the west, partly hidden in their shelter of for- 
est trees. It was to this place, with our grips in hand, that we hurried. Coming 
up the cinder walk we crossed the Baltimore and Washington Turnpike, which 
was the old post road in the colonial times and over which George Washington 
is supposed to have ridden. 

Entering the college grounds we observed to our right the Experiment Sta- 
tion, and approaching nearer we beheld "Old Glory" flying on the air, giving to 
the place a decidedly military appearance. 

The first week wore quickly away, and with it the fears and experiences 
which caused a few uneasy nights. It was now that the Class, having become 
more settled, took the first steps toward organization. A class meeting was called 
and the officers elected. The meeting was carried on without interference and 
adjourned in peace. In the hall outside we gave our yell, which aroused the 
spirit of the Sophomores in the opposite room. They came out of the room like 
bees from a hive, but their buzz was found to be worse than their sting, as the 
Freshman were able to hold their own in the rush that followed. 

Hallowe'en associates itself with many daring deeds and often many un- 
unpleasant memories. The celebrations here have usually consisted of a visit 
to one of the neighboring villages, where the fellows have often made it very 
unpleasant for the peace of the community. This year a precedent has been 
established to do away with this sort of foolishness, and the celebration was 
carried on in a more conservative manner. 

An oyster roast awaited the school at nine p. m., each Class marching up to 
its own particular fire. The Freshmen went forth with the firm resolution to be 
crucified rather than be derided by the Sophs, and after enjoying the oysters 



73 



which were slightly flavored with tar, the rest of the night was spent in a general 
"rough-house" waged between us and the Sophomores. The fight grew very 
warm at times, always ending in a single-handed combat. This kept up until 
eleven o'clock, when the bugle was sounded for call to quarters. The Freshmen 
then retired from the field carrying victory with them. 

This year the Freshmen played the "Sophs" in football. Hitherto it has 
been the custom to have the under-class game between the Sophomores and the 
Juniors. The Freshmen were so promising in athletics, having two men on the 
first team and many more on the second, that they sent a challenge to the 
Sophomores. One Saturday morning early in December the game came off. 
At eleven o'clock both teams met on the gridiron to battle for life. The halves 
were thirty-five minutes in length. The referee's whistle blew, and the Freshmen 
were down on the ball like lightning. By good, hard hitting of the fine we 
made the required distance in each three downs. This did not have to be kept 
up long, because after three minutes our first goal was made. The second came 
in twenty minutes more, after which our luck changed, and our opponents made 
two touch-downs and goals. 

The second half was played very well by both sides, each fighting as hard as 
its strength would permit. Up to this time the score was ten to eleven in favor 
of the Freshmen, but the second half ended with a very decided change in favor 
of the Sophomores, and, they having added two more touch-downs, won by a 
score of twenty to eleven. 

The December "exams" were drawing very close, so the efforts of the Class 
were now directed that way. By a little burning of the midnight oil most of us 
were successful in passing them. 

And now, my classmates, let us keep the spark of knowledge aglow, so that 
when we pass for the last time as students from the doors of M. A. C. we will hold 
in reverent memory the difficulties thru which we kept our flame enkindled. 
May each and every one be able to say as did that other great student of old, 
"I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course," and having found our 
position in the world without, fill it worthily so that our "lights may shine." 

Historian, ' 1 1 . 



74 



Prep." Ode 



When I was a "Prep" at old M. A. C. 
I obediently poured the old boys' tea. 
Water, too, I poured, and also the milk, 
And walked guard a week if any was spilt. 

At A. M. inspection I swept out each room, 
And felt an inch board if I had not a broom. 
Sometimes I would say I had a sore head; 
"No matter," they said, "You make up that bed." 

Then sometimes upon a low table I'd stand 
And sing till my voice rang out like a band. 
To the audience then I was requested to bow, 
While the touch of a paddle made me say "Ow!" 

And when on the hall they all fell in line. 
As I passed down the hall they would all beat time 
On my trousers of gray, right under the belt. 
Which is sore to this day from the raps it has felt. 

.1/. E. 



75 




Class Motto 
Laissez-faire. 

Class Colors 
Pea Green and Beefsteak Red. 

Class Yell 
Take me home to mother, 
For home's the place to be. 



G. P. KlinglER 
R. C. Calhoun 
A. C. Stanton 
O. M. Kelly . . 



. . . . President 
. . . Vice-President 
Secretary-Treasurer 
Sergeant-at-Arms 



Class Roll 



E. BOECKNER . 

G. C. Brasure 
R. C. Calhoun 
P. Castro 
S. C. Dennis 

B. H. Evans . 

C. W. Johnson 
O. M. Kelly . 
G. P. Klingler 
N. E. Long 

T. A. Lyon . . 
J. C. Morris . 
W. Nydegger 
S. Oliver . . 



Baltimore, Md. 

Selbysville, Del. 

McKeesport, Pa. 

Cabo Rogo, P. R. 

Ocean City, Md. 

Lonaconing, Md. 

Sherman, Tex. 

Baltimore, Md. 

New Haven, Conn. 

. California, Md. 

. Riverdale, Md. 

. Riverdale, Md. 

. . Tampa, Fla. 

. . Soller, Spain 



H. H. Oniell 

G. Posey 

L H. Roth. . 

W. SCHEVE . . 

G. C. Seibold 

M. Serrano . 

E. Shema . . 

R. R. Smith . 

H. F. SonnEnburg Bladensburg, Md. 

G. McC. SpanglER Washington, D. C. 

A. C. Stanton . . Grantsville, Md. 

H. L. TwiGG .... Twiggtown, Md. 

R. D. WiLBURN . . . Baltimore, Md. 

H. Willis Hyattsville, Md. 



. Hyattsville, Md. 
Riverside, Md. 
McKeesport, Pa. 
. Baltimore, Md. 
. Baltimore, Md. 
Cacuta, Columbia 
. Baltimore, Md. 
. Wakefield. Md. 



76 



Preps and Others 



Prof. R. : Who was the first president ? 

ScHEWE : George Washington ! 

Prof. R. : Right ! and the next? 

ScHEwE (excitedly) : Ehzabeth, Queen of America ! 

* * * 

Prof. S. : What is the "Mittags linie," Mr. Warren? 

Nervy Nat. : Where the sun rises and sets at the same time, Professor. 

* * * 

Prof. R. : What did they do to Queen Boadicea in Rome, Mr. Geary? 
Geary: They scourged her, sir. 

Prof. R. : What do you understand by scourging, Mr. Geary? 
Geary: I think it means they "sand-papered" her. Professor. 

* * * 

Prof. B.: What are children in excess. Mr. Warren? 
Nervy (after deep thought) : Twins. 

* * * 

Wise Junior: Who is the Speaker of the House, Professor? 
Prof. B. : "Uncle Joe," Mr. Gorsuch. 

Wise Junior: Oh, and I always thought he was called "Uncle Sam" in 
the comic papers! 

A sample of a "truthful" explanation, submitted by Cadet Church for re- 
port of "whistling during study hours": "I was not singing out loud, but only 
humming. I was not aware that it could be heard outside of my room. I hap- 
pened to be thru my studies and was looking out of my window. It was such 
beautiful night, it made me homesick, and that was the reason I was reported for 
whistling." So simple, so logical, so touching! Of course, it came off I 



78 



Military Department 



Major Edward Lloyd, U. S. A Commandant 

Com m issioned Staff 

B. R. Cooper . Cadet Major 

R. L. SiLVKSTER, Jr First Lieutenant and Adjutant 

R. Brigham Second Lieutenant and Quartermaster 

N on-Commissioned Staff 

C. F. Mayer Sergeant-Major 

R. E. DuPUY Color Sergeant 

L. O. JarrEll Quartermaster Sergeant 

J. L. Donaldson Chief Bugler and Corporal 



80 



Roll of Company "A" 



Captain Urah W. Long 

First Lieutenant W. C. ReEder 

Second Lieutenant J. W. Firor 

Third Lieutenant H. C. Byrd 

Third Lieutenant H. W. Stinson 

First Sergeant A. C. Turner 

Second Sergeant J. Q. A. Holloway 

Third Sergeant J. S. Gorsuch 

Fourth Sergeant W. R. Maslin 

Fifth Sergeant H. M. CosTER 

First Corporal ^- ]■ Maxwell 

Second Corporal M. E. Tydings 

Third Corporal J- P- Grason 

Fourth Corporal H. M. Walters 



Church 



Musicians 
Aman 



Sonnenburg 



Adams 

AlKENHEAD 

Allen 

BozA, A. 

Erasure 

Cory 

Cole 

Clark 

Daley 

Davidson 

DUCKETT 

Garey 
Golden 



Privates 

GORSUCH, V. 

HoEN, R. 

HOEN, S. 

Jump 

LUNN 
MUNSON 

Mangun 

Mackall 

Malcolm 

MUDD 

Olivares 
Posey 



Roe 
Saunders 

SCHEWE 
SlEBOLD 

Smith 

Sonnenburg 

Staley 

Tauszky 

Thomas 

Trimble 

Value 

Wenner 



Roll of Company "B" 



Captain J. P. ShambergER 

First Lieutenant W. A. S. SomervillE 

Second Lieutenant N. L. Warren 

Third Lieutenant G. G. Becker 

Third Lieutenant N. E. BricE 

Third Lieutenant E. M. Paradis 

First Sergeant P. E. Burroughs 

Third Sergeant . T. D. Jarrell 

Fourth Sergeant L. J. Hathaway 

Fifth Sergeant B. D. Spalding 

Fifth Sergeant G. E. Hamilton 

First Corporal H. S. Cobey 

vSecond Corporal H. C. Evans 

Third Corpora] L. G. True 



Barrows 



Musicians 
Spangler 



Tangius 



Bauer 

Benson 

Berry 

boeckner 

Boss 

Bradshaw 

Brooks 

Burns 

Byers 

Calhoun 

Davis 

Evans, B. H. 

Fields 

Glass 



Privates 

Gray 
Harding 
Johnson 
Keyfauver 

KELLEY 

Kinghorne 

Morris 

O'Neill 

QUIMBY 

Redmond 

Robinson 

Roth 

Saavedra 

Serrano 



Shipley 

Smith 

Stiffler 

Silvester, L. 

Strickland 

Thompson 

TiMANUS, B. 

Timanus, W. 
Towers 

TWADELL 

Walter, R. 
Ward 
Wilburn 
White, W. 



M. 



84 



Roll of Company "C" 



Captain Chas. W. Sylvester 

First Lieutenant H. B. Hoshall 

Second Lieutenant S. M. Lowrey 

Third Lieutenant E. H. Plumacher 

Third Lieutenant M. C. Plumacher 

Third Lieutenant R. A. Wilson 

First Sergeant J. F. Allison 

Second vSergeant F. H. Dryden 

Third Sergeant M. E. Choate 

Fourth Sergeant C. W. SiglER 

Fifth Sergeant J. E. Haslup 

First Corporal W. J. FrErE 

Second Corporal T. R. Stanton 

Third Corporal E. H. Price 

Fourth Corporal J. H. HoGE 

Fifth Corporal E. H. Bounds 



Crapster 



Musicians 
Sonnenburg 



Castro 



Andrews 

Bell 

BozA, O. 

Boyle 

Carpinter 

Carazo 

DUCKETT 

Hicks 

JOVA 

Klinger 

KOENIG 

Langdon 
Lankford 



Privates 

Little 
Long, N. 
Lyon 
Marmol 
Martinez 

MORLEY 

Newcomer 
Nydegger, E. 
Nydegger, W. 

OlSEN 

Oliver 

OSBOURN 

Padgett 



Roberts 

Severe 

Shipley 

Steffens 

Twigg 

Thompson 

White, H. 

White, M. 

White, R. 

Whiting 

Willis 

Woolford 



86 



The Baltimore Parade 



A most beautiful and appropriate custom has been of recent years adopted 
by the several States; the celebration of "Home Coming Week," as we have 
learned to call it. Nor has Maryland, always alive to the best interests of her 
citizens and zealous of her good name, been backward in inaugurating this event 
in her own case, and as a consequence the week of October the fourteenth was 
set apart for this celebration. 

Daily parades of the various organizations thruout the State were a pro- 
minent feature of the home-coming period, and it was on the evening of the 
fifteenth that we of the Maryland Agricultural College were invited to participate. 
We were assigned to the third brigade, of which division our illustrious com- 
mandant. Major Lloyd, was in command. As it was still early in the scholastic 
year, we found it out of question to drill the new recruits into the proper con- 
dition of discipline to fit them for the parade. Consequently, we were repre- 
sented by two picked companies of old men instead, and owing to a temporary 
injury received in a recent football game. Major B. R. Cooper was unable to take 
command, the responsibility of the expedition devolving upon Captain U. W. 
Long, who conducted the battalion thruout the parade with marked ability. 

For days previous to the eagerly anticipated event we busied ourselves in 
blacking shoes, washing gloves, shining buckles, cleaning rifles, pressing uniforms 
and doing other things too numerous to mention. Bright and clear dawned the 
morning of the fateful day, and after an early lunch served in the old time a la 
« Greene style, we marched off to the railroad station, where we boarded the noon 
express that Dr. Silvester had providently stopped for us. 

A little after half-past one we pulled into Mt. Royal station, and after form- 
ing the battalion, Captain Long marched us two squares to Lanvale Street, where 
we awaited the formation of our division. Meanwhile, the gay steed on which 
our honored commandant was to mount appeared on the scene. To fitly describe 
the coloring of that immortal creature would require a thorough knowledge of all 
the colors in the spectrum, for I verily believe they were all represented. Well, 
the Major proceeded to mount his "circus" horse as he was pleased to call it, 
with the grace and ease of a natural-born horseman; and was soon surrounded 



§ • K»-^:aM 





Si rfP" ""' ^ ^ 




by an admiring junto of embryo newspaper reporters, in age from six to sixteen. 
Not even an Egyptian mummy or an ancient Greek god come to life could have 
created such a sensation as did our beloved "Commie" on his circus horse! 

At length St. Johns and their melodious band came upon the scene, and we 
formed into a column of companies ready to march. Oh, that march ! Up hill 
and down dale, over smooth pavements and over rough cobblestones, we kept 
up that measured tread to the finish. Thru what streets or by what route we went 
I cannot tell, but my burning feet felt every bit of that good eight miles before 
we reached the end. Sometimes we would halt for forty seconds more or less. 
The longest stop, I believe, was when the "circus" horse became rampant. It 
threw our respected Major among the worshipping populace from whence he 
promptly rose untarnished and unharmed to resume his seat in the saddle. Our 
entire march was the scene of one long enthusiastic ovation from faculty, alumni, 
friends and sweethearts; and we can still hear Prof. Richardson's hearty "What's 
the matter with the Maryland Agricultural College?" as we passed him and his 
party on the strenuous march. 

Finally, we found ourselves advancing away from the heart of the city, and 
our spirits began to rise. The end of the parade was close at hand. And sure 
enough, we were soon on our way to our rendevous at Mt. Royal station. On 
our arrival, we promptly stacked arms and set out to invest a nearby cafe. Need- 
less to say, true to the traditions of M. A. C, we never left the place until the 
provisions gave out, and even then found ourselves still hungry. Rounding up 
the tired, tho jubilant boys was a difficult proposition. The larger majority of 
us, however, boarded the special express for home. Our return trip was enlivened 
by a light lunch which the good Doctor had thoughtfully provided for us, and dur- 
ing its consumption we were highly entertained by certain ambitious ones among 
us who gave the day students, more familiarly known as the day dodgers, a most 
informal reception. Cadets Stiffler, True and Twadell presiding. When the frag- 
ments of the disintegrated day dodgers were gathered up, several caps were 
missing, and one bright (?) individual ventured the remark that it was rather 
severe on Severe ! 

"College," yells the conductor, and we prepare joyfully for the disembarka- 
tion, marching up to the empty barracks, where a very light lunch like our early 
dinner is served a la Greene. So ended the famous Baltimore parade, and very 
quietly we sought our quarters that night, praying that in the future Home 
Coming Week would come oftener and not so much at one time. 

Extra, '08. 



90 



Jamestown 



Jamestown! The very name is pregnant with sultry weather, with chilly 
nights, bad tempers and muddy shoes; for we certainly did have rain a plenty. 
Indeed, if the truth be told, we had every degree of raininess that is within the 
power of the weather man to inflict on poor, suffering humanity. First we had 
the gentle mist, then the strenuous mist or infant rain — not enough water falling 
to keep you indoors, yet enough to make life miserably wet without an umbrella 
— then came the drizzling rain, next followed the romantic pit-pat, pit-pat. pitter- 
patter, pit-pat rain, then came the "gentle, refreshing spring shower" concerning 
which poets love so much to sing, then fell the regular downpour rain, and, finally, 
as a fitting climax to this spectacular array of "weathers," the veritable bottom 
dropped out of the heavens, the clouds, turning inside out, wrung themselves 
dry very much as you would a towel, and then — commenced all over again. Yet, 
in spite of this formidable onslaught of the elements, we managed to squeeze 
several good-sized tumblerfulls of "joy" out of this same old Jamestown. 

It was on the morning of June the sixth, in the year of our Lord one thousand 
nineteen hundred and seven, that, with light hearts and a still lighter breakfast 
within us, we assembled in front of the barracks, preparatory to our departure. 
And I may as well state right here that already, following closely behind old 
Sol, a huge Cumulus cloud was forcing its way towards the zenith. After the 
bugle call, the roll call and the muster call had been thrice repeated; after each 
man had been counted at least a half a dozen times in order to make sure that 
he was actually where he was and not fast asleep in bed ; after we had been com- 
pelled to show our tickets for the third time ; after our receipts from Dr. Owens 
to the amount of three dollars and sixty-seven cents had been submitted for in- 
spection to no less than seven personages; after each one had kicked his suit 
case a few hard wacks to make certain of its corporeality — after all these 
preliminaries word came from headquarters to depart. Into the blue-bodied 
wagons we piled our suit cases (likewise Zodiac's trunk) and hurried them off to 
the station. Then the Major formed column to the north, put it in march, and 
changed direction at the same time to the east, and before we were able to 
collect our scattered wits we were off for Jamestown. 



91 



On any ordinary occasion we would seriously object to riding three in a seat 
on a Berwyn trollev, but this morning we were in a particularly good humor, 
and underwent this "hardship" with never a murmur. However, as, the excit- 
ment over, we sped toward the city, the minds of those who were sitting upon 
their imaginations found leisure to meditate upon the contented looks of those 
who had received their full quota of seat, and by almost imperceptible degrees 
they receded into the grumbling vernacular of M. A. C. Hitherto we had been 
so elated, and yet so fearful lest some untold event should mar our journey, that 
we lived, as it were, above the clouds. Now, however, as if by magic, a multitude 
of pipes came into existence, the " planta nicotina " circulated freely from hand 
to hand, and we were soon completely absorbed in each other's conversation and 
the passing scenery. 

A considerable delay was experienced in effecting a transfer in Washington. 
Drawn up in line on Ninth street, with our right resting on G, we watched car 
after car, filled to overflowing, pass us by. And while thus bemoaning our extreme- 
ly hard luck we were startled by a familiar voice, and looking around recognized, 
to our unbounded joy, an old and trusted friend. It was none other than the 
pieman, our welcome bi-weekly visitant at M. A. C, and without whose presence 
life there would be an "inferno," indeed. For a short while there was a lively 
exchange of battered five-cent pieces on the one hand and of appetizing custards 
on the other, and we had scarely completed devouring our pies when word was 
passed along the line that our "special" was coming at last. And sure enough 
it was. We soon reached the wharves, and after a lot of red tape with the officials 
stationed there squeezed thru a narrow passageway, shuffled up the gang-plank, 
and wended our way aft. No sooner had the last man touched the deck of the 
boat than the gang-plank was drawn in, the ropes cast off, the anchor weighed, 
and we were steaming down the peaceful Potomac. 

Life on board was rather interesting. Of course, the first thing we did was 
to acquaint ourselves with our surroundings. We investigated every nook and 
cranny from the prow to the escutcheon, and from the bilge to the hurricane 
deck. Finding time hanging heavy on our hands, we next began to cultivate 
the acquaintance of our fellow-passengers. And what characters that small river 
craft contained ! I remember one of the boys taking statistics, and he announced 
that there were five nationalities, seventeen rehgions and three political parties 
represented on board. One individual in particular I remember. She was a 
short, plump, gray-haired, little lady, as full of fun as she was of years. In the 
saloon she entertained us at the piano. And how she did play! Her short, fat 
fingers went bobbing up and down like jumping jacks. She played in such a 
businesslike way, and how she did strike those keys ! At the end of each selec- 



92 



tion the poor, little lady would be almost exhausted and would puff and blow in 
quite a pitiable manner, but the hard-hearted wretches would "encore" and she 
would address herself again to the task. 

Soon after we left Alexandria, however, there occurred a very exciting episode- 
A gentleman from that staid old town walked hurriedly up to the commandant 
and accosted him, saying, " Baggagemaster, where is my trunk?" "You d — n 

fool!" replied the irate "Commie," "You " But words, even those energetic 

words which make up by far the greater part of an army officer's vocabulary, 
afforded little relief to "Commie's" pent-up indignation. Mutely clenching his 
fists, he scowled upon the offending Alexandrian, who by this time realizing that 
he had blundered (just how he could not for the life of him imagine), and observ- 
ing "Commie's" belligerent preparations, which were becoming too significant 
to be overlooked, and evidently concluding that "descretion is the better part 
of valor," beat a hasty retreat. Several hours later he was detected hiding behind 
an empty- barrel on the lower deck, and when he reached his destination the 
mate had to literally drag him forth from his place of concealment, so great was 
his fear of our wrathful "Commie." 

It was quite dark when we touched our final landing place. Clutching a 
suit case in one hand, a gun in the other, and with our tickets gripped firmly 
between our teeth, we filed off. Our baggage was tossed aboard two express 
wagons that were awaiting our arrival, a guard was placed with each vehicle and 
then they were sent rattling off over the cobblestones in the direction of camp. 
Unfortunately for us, the cobblestones did not last long, and at Piney Beach we 
struck mud, plain, simple mud, fully a half foot deep, and we floundered at least 
a mile thru this Virginia quagmire ere we reached the camping grounds. 

Our own camp consisted of three rows of conical-walled tents, each one being 
placed over a raised wooden platform and containing six so-called cots. On our 
arrival we found our baggage dumped in a nondescript pile in the middle of one 
of our streets, and to sort it out in the dark was a most simple matter, as you 
may readily suppose. Then back to our tents we went. Of course, no one had 
brought a candle along, and so the first thing we did on entering our novel habita- 
tion was to bump our heads against the ridgepole. However, we were soon 
supplied with the much-needed light, our fleetest runner running down to the 
commissary department in less time than it takes to tell of it. Then, quickly 
making up our cots, we turned in for the night. I say "we turned in," but not 
to sleep. The placing of those cots in there as sleeping places for human beings 
was a grim farce, a most practical joke. They were too short; they were too 
narrow. They were lopsided, and three times each night one would roll onto 
the floor, whereupon, humiliated by the jeers of his comrades and frozen by the 



94 



cold outside air, the unfortunate victim must perforce pick himself up and climb 
back into the detestable "cot," its spindly legs wabbling like those of a new- 
born calf. Naturally, from their very construction, those cots lent themselves 
readily to the playing of practical jokes, so one night we placed the legs of one 
cot parallel fore and aft and leaning slightly out of the perpendicular. That 
night, when its occupant came loitering home at a late hour, the sentinal silently 
woke us up to enjoy the fun. Right gently the unsuspecting noctivagant laid 
him down to pleasant slumbers, when just as he was settling himself into a final 
posture of repose the balance was overcome, bed shot forward and down, its 
hapless occupant was hurled over the footboard as from a catapault, and lunging 
into the skirt, his impetus came very close, indeed, to precipitating the tent upon 
us. 

On rising the next morning we became conscious of an appalling "want of 
due care" on our part that we were to rue bitterly. "The further South one 
goes the warmer it becomes," so our old geographies used to read and so we always 
confidently beUeved until, acting upon this misguiding information, we had 
brought very few bedclothes with us, and as a natural consequence each one "A 
sadder and a wiser man awoke the morrow morn." Nor was this our only mistake. 
In the whole battalion, as we found to our dismay, there were but five towels and 
three toothbrushes fit for active service, and, alas, nothing wherewith to multiply 
them. Our supply of combs, too, was limited to four of the most disreputable, 
toothless, haglike veterans that I have ever seen, and as for soap, why when you 
are in Jamestown you must do as Jamestonians do, follow the illustrious example 
of economic Italy. 

The first day was spent in getting our bearings. We scouted the Warpath, 
surveyed Lee's Parade and located the exit gate. That night we really began to 
"see things!" With the exception of the guard on duty our entire force made 
a desperate assault on the Warpath, and many were the sights and shows, some 
good, some bad and some indifferent, that we took in that night for much less 
than our allowed half fare. ■ ' 

"Curse those Indians!" was the exclamation oftenest on our lips. All day 
long and half the night "loi Ranch" created terrific din. They were wont to 
commence at eight in the morning, and not once during our brief stay did they 
conclude their final performance before twelve at night. Hourly an assorted 
medley of cowboy oaths, punctuated by revolver shots, curdling warhoops and 
incessant distracting bedlam raised by the squaws, floated into camp, the whole 
being softened by the peculiarly touching music that a New York band was 
extracting from a bass drum and half a dozen brass horns. Altho, when at night 
we were wooing fickle slumber, we railed at the noisy ranch and cursed it heartily. 



95 



yet in the daytime our curiosity concerning its interior was very great, for it 
must be remembered that the whole outfit was completely encircled by a thirty- 
two-foot board fence. The time was soon coming when we should at one and 
the same time satisfy our growing curiosity and avenge ourselves upon the offend- 
ing aborigines. 

On the third day our outpost reported unusual activity in the camp on the 
north. All day long the streets were being cleaned and things set to rights within 
the encampment. What might it portend? About dusk the mystery was solved. 
Hearing the guard call out, "ARMED PARTY," we threw back our tent flaps 
and beheld the arrival into our "dismal swamp" of two additional battalions, 
the Virginia Polytechnic Institute and the Pennsylvania Military Academy. 
That very night we joined forces with our brother cohorts and swooped down 
upon the dusky braves. After some slight parleying with the manager it was 
agreed that we should enter in on half fare, either paying fifty cents for a ticket 
"for one" or a dollar "for two." But both tickets were identical in character, 
so, of course, what should we do but pay fifty cents "for a ticket for one" and 
"two" would enter to behold the sublime and awe-inspiring spectacle presented 
by the "loi Ranch!" 

In the army the "guy-rope mania" is a very prevalent disease among the 
new recruits, and we, too, had a slight attack of it at Jamestown. Everytime we 
ventured forth without the tent we would stumble over a guy rope. If we 
attempted to take a short cut to the street below the guy rope was there before 
us, and we were invariably compelled to call upon the guard to assist us in extri- 
cating ourselves from the consequent entanglement; and if we came home late 
at night, "walking in a military manner and observing everything within sight 
and hearing," we were sure to come to grief over a guy rope! 

Jamestown, its joys, its sorrows and its "loi Ranch" have passed away, 
but it still lies fresh in our memory. Shall we ever forget the big military tent 
in which we messed three times a day? "North Carolina coffee, boss?" And 
that was "coffee," indeed, and those ice-cream desserts, ah! but the rogues do 
remember them ! Speaking of provender, however, reminds us of the elaborate 
bill of fare that one morning in chapel our worthy president announced as our 
"future menu in Jamestown!" And very fascinating reading it made, too, better 
than any fairy tale or even a dime novel to our starved appetites. Even then 
we licked our chops in pleasant anticipation of the delicate morsels we should 
feast upon. For breakfast we were to have the choice, actually the choice, of 
ham, eggs or broiled steak, served with fried potatoes, celery a la mode, or horse- 
radish, and for beverages an unlimited amount of water. Dinner, he said, would 
be served promptly at twelve, the first course consisting of either turtle a la shell 



97 



or canvasback duck stewed in its own brown gravy. Oh ! Delicious Gravy ! 
What visions you conjure up! My pen fairly itches to write a dissertation upon 
you ! The second course would be made up, so it read, of one company of cabbage, 
of two squadrons of cabbage, of five battalions of cabbage, and seven — in fact, 
cabbage was scheduled as the "dominant" feature of the course. These two 
detachments of our dinner were to be worked down and their conflicting flavors 
absorbed by a drink of that cooling beverage — water. At supper our infant 
appetites were to be coaxed with tender cuts of roast beef — which, by the by, never 
materialized — then, enticed by a savory dish of boiled turnips, we would finally 
top off our repast once more with — water. Assuredly, truth had an abiding place 
in the heart of the man who wrote, "Anticipation is better than realization!" 

But to return to Jamestown and its flashlight memories. Can it be possible 
that we shall ever forget Piney Beach, where they sent you to hell and brought 
your back again all for thirty cents? And the vSwiss Alps! What magnificent 
scenery ! Quite quenched was our thirst for natural beauty in the lordly grandeur 
of those majestic Alps. Intoxicated by the wonderful sights we had seen we 
would stagger forth under the pale moonlight, and it was even currently reported 
that one night our worthy steward was found under their intoxicating influ- 
ence, surreptitiously making love to a lamppost. Nor must we fail of mention- 
ing the melancholy, never-dying music which proceeded from the interior of that 
boxed-up organ, and which, by all that was holy, we swore to destroy! 

The evening of our departure was one of great excitement and flurry, as we 
were scheduled to leave very early the next morning. By the time we were in 
column, our impedimenta packed and ready for departure, our neighbor battalions 
were going to breakfast, and as they passed us we gave them three rousing fare- 
well cheers, which were as lustily returned. At last the order to "hike " was issued, 
and "hike" we did, back thru the "Slough of Despond," past Piney Beach, onto 
the waiting steamer, and then once more up the broad Potomac, homeward 
bound. 

So the expedition ended, and our brief ten-day sojourn in Jamestown, with ■ 
its excitement, its wonders, and its marvelous sights, now but a fading recollec- 
tion, will, nevertheless, always remain a pleasant and unique memory, despite 
its little imperfections, its petty inconveniences and its perpetual rain! 

Engineer, '08. 



New Mercer Literary Society 



President Urah W. Lono 

Vice-President S. M. Lowrey 

Secretary and Treasurer J. W. Firor 

Sergeant-at-Arms G. C. Day 

Chairman of Program Committee 
N. E. Price 

Morrill Literary Society 

President R. Brigham 

Vice-President N. L. Warren 

Secretary H. B. Hoshali. 

Treasurer J- P- L- ShambergER 

Chairman of Program Committee 

J. S. GORSUCH. 



lOO 



Whence Come Our Men 



"Rank is but the guinea's stamp; the man's the gold." These immortal 
words are as true to-day as when the vScottish plowman plied his pen and gave to 
us the ideal of a genuine man. Burns found his heroes among the peasants of 
rugged Scotland, and in our own America, altho heroes can be found in every 
class, from the pauper to the multi-millionaire, from the humble law student 
to the deep-thinking statesman, there exists a tradition that to become great 
one must be born in a little red farmhouse, covered with creeping ivy, edged 
with scarlet ramblers and surrounded with majestic oaks or spreading maples. 

Embodied in this particular incident is a great universal law; the law that 
from the country, from the mountains and vallevs, from the hills and the plains 
come our men. Men who from boyhood up battle with problems that must be 
solved bv each individual alone. This environment which surrounds the country 
boy develops in him to a great extent those characteristics that are essential to 
the man of power and responsibility. 

From boyhood to manhood is but a short step, but, nevertheless, we often 
forget the trials and difficulties that we experience as boys, and when our old 
playmates become successful merchants, thoughtful statesmen or wise executives 
we allow the starry past to be lost in the dazzling sun of the present. To show, 
however, that this is not always true, I cite an incident that recalled this tradition 
to me in a forcible and unexplained manner. Once, when I was traveling across 
the American continent, I had occasion to spend a few hours in a capital city of 
a Middle-Western State, and as I walked from the hotel to the station I observed 
that the streets were unusually crowded with jubilant people. They did not 
wear the aspect of every-day business, but rather that of holiday celebration. 
A newsboy was unintelligibly yelling a long string of tangled sentences, from 
which I was only with great mental effort able to distinguish the word "extra," 
tho nothing more. I purchased a paper and hurried to the station, where I 
caught the express as it was pulling out towards the West. When I obtained a 
comfortable seat I glanced over the paper, and then found why the city, now 
receding into the eastern horizon, was so full of rural people. On the front 
page of the "extra" these words were written over a photograph: "Our new 
governor, a man of sterling character, a conscientious and untiring fighter of 



corrupt politics, a dreaded enemy of unscrupulous grafters." As I scrutinized 
the photograph the face seemed familiar, but I thought that perhaps this was 
due to an inherent desire on my part to be acquainted with the prominent great. 
Yet, after a careful study, I was positive that I had seen that face somewhere 
before. Then I made a rapid survey of the columns until I found the governor's 
name. John J. Clabaugh, that was the name, and that sensation redintegrated 
the acute sensations of my youth. 

So, as the train flew across the level plains towards the land of the setting 
sun, my mind wandered back to the scenes of boyhood. Back to the country 
of red hills and quaint limekilns, and surmounting the hills, the blue-tinted 
mountains. I was again a boy of ten years, going to the little old schoolhouse, 
which had long since outlived its years of architectural beauty. I lived again 
those days which were, indeed, carefree, and now I know too well that the "after- 
math of September was not the sweet clover of June." 

1 am back on the stony farm, whose steep hills and fertile meadows had been 
torn from the virgin forests years before, and it is early winter. The weather is 
crisp and frosty. Now and then we have a snow flurry which tells of wintery 
days, long nights and bright hearth fires, around which we will crack nuts and 
listen to tales of old folklore. An incident occurred during this fall that produced 
in me an inextinguishable admiration for John Clabaugh. By recalling this 
experience the day upon which it happened became vivid in my mind. The 
evening before mv father had said that on the morrow he would go to the mountains 
for a load of wood. This meant that the corn was harvested, that the golden 
grain was stored away in long slat cribs, and the fodder, neatly stacked around the 
barnyard ready for winter use. This was the time of year that the farmers used 
for laying in a supply of wood to ward off the chilly hand of winter. 

It is needless to say that I frankly hated school, while a trip to the mountain, 
even though it meant a long walk of about two miles and a very rough ride back, 
held for me a certain inexplainable fascination. Perhaps it was "the call of 
the wild" which rings in everv ear to more or less extent — the call of the solitude 
of untouched trees which canopied our ancestors or predecessors when they 
roamed there untutored to the life of domestication. But my thoughts were 
not upon the question of ancestry, I was trying to convince my mother that I 
needed more open life. School was killing me by inches, and I even began to 
believe that I was going to die from a terrible pain in the back, an aching head, 
a jumping tooth or some other indescribable ache or pain. These were old argu- 
ments to a mother who had two older sons, and I was no farther from school than 
before. I was somewhat set back by this failure, but in bed that night I formu- 
lated a plan that was sure to work. I slept the healthy sleep of youth, tumbling 



I02 



out of bed at the first call the next morning, for I knew that my father would be 
ofif early, and I had determined to accompany him. 

Breakfast is soon over, and the horses are watered at the trough and we 
hitch them to the seasoned "Studebaker." First comes Dexter, the saddle- 
horse, a steady, irresistible animal of the draft type. With stately step he walks 
to his place like the trained Arab. Next comes the "off -wheeler," a colt filled 
with that animating fire that characterizes youth. After being with difficulty 
hitched, he paws the ground, anxious to be off. The remaining horses, old veterans 
of the trace, are soon in position. My heart beats rapidly, and as my father 
swings into the saddle, and the hired man takes his place on the lazy-board, it 
seems trying to betray my thoughts. But the wagon starts, and I quickly climb 
upon the projection of the coupling pole. As the wagon slowly winds across the 
fields to the mountain's foot my excitement subsides, for no one has noticed me, 
and I begin to feel not only safe, but quite proud of my escape as well. Have I 
not a right to this feeling as I widen the gap between me and that detestable 
seat of public education, that boy-hated institution. As I blow my breath against 
the cold, snap atmosphere, boy fashion, I imagine I am indulging in smoking 
the vile weed, and thoughtlessly watch the lazy sun slowly rise over the rim of 
eastern farms. Now we leave the fields and glide into the dense woods; the 
road is typical of the mountains, and as we advance it becomes rougher and 
rougher. The wagon bounces and rattles as it tumbles over projecting roots 
and rising rocks. The clattering chains and clanging irons take full possession 
of the dead stillness. 

I slide off of the coupling pole and walk behind. The hired man reluct- 
tantly gives up his throne upon the lazy-board, and, with a smile that broadens 
into an inquiring grin, joins Rover and I. He says nothing, however, and to- 
gether we follow the wagon as it serpentines its way along the sparkhng run, 
racing down the dale. Up, up we slowly climb to the source of the pretty run, 
a bubbling spring that adds its little mite to form a mighty ocean. Here is our 
wood lot. With considerable difficulty the wagon is turned and the wood is quickly 
loaded. My father swings once more into the saddle, and I still remain an un- 
questioned truant. The hired man resumes his position on the lazy-board, there 
to remain this time, as a trip down the mountain with a heavy load is not without 
danger, and the brakes are often called into service. In spite of the certainty 
of a good shaking up, I climb up on top of the load, and we are off homeward 
bound. 

For a short distance the road runs at right angles to the valley. At the end 
of this level stretch, we turn suddenly toward the valley, and here is the steepest 
and roughest hill of the entire road, leading as it does to the run below. The 



103 



wagons hauling over this road for many years in connection with the accompany- 
ing erosion have worn a deep guheylike road in the side of the ridge, encompassed 
by two high banks. The wagon, screeching and groaning, slowly swings around 
the curve and begins the rough descent. Just as we start down the incline we 
see to our great astonishment a team not twenty yards distant on the way up. 
The four mules are coming towards us rapidly, driven by John Clabaugh. Altho 
only a boy of ten, I realize the danger. For us to turn out is impossible, and for 
a boy only a few years my senior to solve a problem that would perplex men is 
expecting too much. I rise to my feet on top of the wagon and await results. 
My father makes a desperate effort to stop our heavy wagon, but fails. The 
mules continue to advance, and at first I think that the youthful teamster intends 
to drive over us or be crushed beneath our heavy load. Then, suddenly, surely, 
he rises in the stirrups, whirls the heavy whip around his head, with one sharp, 
piercing crack, gives a quick pull towards the left, and the keen little animals 
see what is expected. They scramble up a depression in the steep bank; the 
sparks fly thick from their iron shoes; the wagon almost tilts over, but lands 
upright just as we slowly glide by. I turn with the deepest admiration towards 
my schoolmate. Admiration that equaled the devotion of a Mohammedan to 
his Prophet, and unconsciously, through coming years, I built my dreams around 
this boy as an ideal. 

It took manv of the world's stern battles and years of absence to draw my 
ideal away from that cool-headed, determined boy who was destined to face 
greater problems than the one he met and solved on the mountain that day! 

Excelsior, '08. 




104 



Autumn 



'Tis of Autumn I write, 

The pale dusk before night, 

When the Summer's bright ways 

Slowly fade in the haze 

Of sad Fall's blue gray mist. 

'Tis of Autumn I tell, 

When each valley and dell 

Is all carpeted o'er, 

Froni Dame Nature's good store 

Of bright golden-red leaves. 

Hark! the ring of the ax 
Of the woodman — ne'er lax, 
As its merry resound. 
Seems to leap with a bound, 
And echo everywhere. 

See the hunters and dogs, 
How they leap fences and logs. 
Or go scrambling through brush. 
And then on with a rush. 
And are gone in the distance. 

And the hound's deep bay. 

From the far, far away, 

We hear fainter and dulled, 

Till our valley is lulled 

In the soothing of Nature's repose. 

Hist! see yon' sly little fox. 
As he stealthily walks 
To his den in the bog, 
To his hole in the log, 
In the wild's deep fast. 



105 



And the bunny lopes by, 

And the quails rise and fly, 

With a musical whir, 

As the air they do stir, 

And o'er meadows and marsh they go sailing. 

And the nuts are a'falling. 

While the scjuirrels are a'calling, 

All continually chatt'ring, 

Of this year's wonderous scattering 

Of the hickory luits, walnuts and filberts. 

And the animals all, 

They do linger with Fall, 

And enjoy the brisk air 

And gay Nature so fair 

Before Winter's drear reign of bleak and cold. 

And I sit and I dream 

Of the valley and stream. 

Of the world beyond. 

All the sights so fond. 

Past yon misty, dreamy, haze-hung ridges. 

J. L. D., 'lo 




1 06 



The Love of Country Conquers 



"Thy voice is heard thru rolling drums, 

That beat to battle where he stands; 
Thy face across his fancy comes, 

And gives the battle to his hands." 

— Tennyson 

David Fenton was dying, dying alone in a hostile land, dying at the end of 
the great war, dying as so many had died before him in the flower and glory 
of youth. Long since the last prisoners had been exchanged; long since the wel- 
come transports had come and gone, bearing with them his more fortunate com- 
rades to their faraway homes. But still he lingered on, too weak to leave, too 
strong to die; worn and wasted with his long, grim struggle for life. On the 
Httle isle of vSakura, set like a gem in the beautiful Inland vSea, in the quaint old 
godown where they had left him to die; there, with the healing sunlight streaming 
in upon him thru the wide open doors, he lay, gazing dreamily out over the mirrored 
island and the silent sea beyond. A strange enchanting scene it was, wonderful 
in its tranquil beautv, and as he gazed there came over his spent and weary spirit 
a great content. He was a child again, dreaming fair dreams of enchanted prin- 
cesses, of brave youths, of fiery dragons and monstrous giants. He had found 
his way at last to the lost fairyland of his childhood days ; that bright and won- 
drous land of long ago. Surely, he had seen them before, these still and sleeping 
islands with their lifeless, tho verdant shores, these queer thatched villages straggling 
down from pine-clad slopes to the water's edge, these elfin peaks, perched high 
above the glistening waters, in whose wooded recesses nestled many a quaint and 
curious shrine. Between him and the nearest fairy island, resting idly on the 
painted sea, lay an old and weather-stained junk, its great white sail filled with- 
an unseen wind, and below in the glassy depths lay another, as rough and pictur- 
esque, the dark gnomes who were its crew stretched and sleeping in the glowing 
sun. Behind it rose the same charmed island, its magic woods and houses, re- 
flected with the sapphire sky beneath. And beyond these islands were other 
islands and still others — all beautiful, all silent, all waiting, like the dreamer him- 
self, the coming of the Fairy Prince. Then, again, he fancied they were phantom 
islands of the coral sea, risen with the dawn from mysterious depths. Let but the 



107 



spell be broken and they would go down to the regions from whence they came, 
bearing him with them to the hidden kingdoms of the deep. But withal he was 
content. Only a vague, uncomfortable consciousness of the hard and bloody days 
before they brought him hither remained to disturb his perfect rest. The peace 
of the place had entered his seared and troubled soul. 

So the idle hours wore slowly by, and David Fenton, lying in the airy, matted 
room, dreamt blissfully on, his whole racked body drinking in the warmth and 
brightness. His little brown nurse slipped in on sandaled feet to tenderly smooth 
his pillow and bathe his feverish limbs. With a great sympathy, such as comes 
only from long continued and patient contact with intense suffering, she nursed 
this poor American, stricken in the first flush of manhood, doomed to drag out his 
waning life in her despoiled and ravaged country. With all kindness, with all 
mercy she attended this, her fallen foe, and none would have guessed from her 
smiling greeting what heart break, what hidden sorrow, what intense hatred of 
the cursed barbarians were hers, or how, with the stoic fortitude of her people, 
she had sent forth her devoted sons to die for the stricken Nippon. As she toiled 
cheerily on, hers was the patient fury of calm endurance. In her firm strength lay 
concealed another race yet greater, still more powerful, still more fearless of death, 
with the unconquerable blood of the knightly samurai in their veins, with the 
names of leymitsu, of Togo, of Nogi ever on their reverent lips. 

But what of Fenton lying there half asleep in the glowing sun? Where were 
his thoughts? Again, in the full tide of health and strength, he owned the fleeting 
hours. Strong and warm the sun shone down over the broad, open meadow. 
The fresh, keen scent of new-mown hay filled the air. The long, billowy winrows 
teemed with humming insect life, and across the ripened fields came the incessant 
clatter of mowing machine and tedder. In the midst of the great field he was 
loading the bright, crisp hay. Ah! it was life worth living, to come down at a 
brisk trot behind his strong, stocky mares, to jump out from the swaying rick, 
and striding ahead, to open the way thru the rustling rows. The lumbering wagon 
crawls slowly in and out among the tangled heaps. He plunges his fork into the 
fragrant hay, steadies his load for a moment, then lustily swings it up to the grow- 
ing pile above. Sweating from every pore, filled with the sheer joy of living 
and doing, he goes on from row to row, swinging up heap after heap with ex- 
uberant strength. The last forkful goes up and the straining horses, their glossy 
sides glistening in the sun, turn eagerly toward the steep hill road. They cross 
the rough wooden bridge, where the shallow branch merrily wends its shaded 
way along the edge of the sun-streaked meadow. They pass thru the fertile bottoms 
where the young corn is growing rank and tall, the loosened soil moistly crumbling 
about its tender roots. Beside a little clump of oaks, at the foot of the first long 
slope, thev pause for a breathing space, and Fenton drinks deep from the cool, 



1 08 



clear waters of a hillside spring. Then on and up they go to where the wide, 
hip-roofed barn stands snugly built against the western hillside. On either hand, 
traversing the steep slopes, stretch deep ravines, their downward course marked 
by long, rambling rows of apple trees, the rough trunks hidden in the lush, rank 
growth. Interspersed in rich, luxuriant patches are scattered thick stands of 
peas and crimson clover, the latter in full bloom, a brilliant mass of color against 
the dull, green foliage about it. The busy humming of innumerable bees winging 
their way from the blossoming clover to their white colonies under the apple trees 
stirs the drowsy air, now heavy with flying creatures, and from time to time the 
shrill cicadas shriek and saw. 

Suddenly, over the wooded crest to the slopes below, there steals the pleasant 
sound of the dinner bell. The hot, hard work of unloading stops. The sweating 
hands take themselves off to their whitewashed cabins in the distance, and Fenton 
joyfully hurries up thru the hilltop pasture to where, in the lea of the chestnut 
woods, Marian and his dinner await him. He sees her now, standing in the rustic 
porch, half hid in the wild tangle of roses that clamber about her in riotous con- 
fusion. Her slippered foot impatiently taps the sunlit floor. With a demure 
grace, the simple folds of her long, gingham apron fall about her slender form. 
A single rose blooms in her dark brown hair, and a teasing smile sparkles in her 
merry gray eyes. She spies him, dimples roguishly, blows him a tantalizing kiss, 
and ere he can reach her has turned and fled into the house. Ah ! she was ever 
thus, the coquettish Marian of his courtship days ; ever the winsome Marian 
of the old ballad, with "cheeks of roses, gentle and fair." 

The joy of contented prosperity was in his heart as he sat down to his pleasant 
dinner in the sunny dining-room. Truly, he had much to be thankful for. He 
smiled across to where, with housewifely dignity, Marian was carving the chicken, 
her sweet face puckered in a serious frown. Turning her head, she catches the 
furtive twinkle in his eyes, flushes indignantly and, as he looks contritely up, 
breaks into a merry peal of laughter, in which he happily joins, for they are lovers 
still. 

His dinner done, Fenton turned comfortably to his daily paper. Ah ! with 
what shrinking pain he read those bold, unmistakable headlines : 

"THE JAPS INVEST MANILLA; 
THE PRESIDENT CALLS FOR TWO THOUSAND MORE!" 

And farther down, in finer print, tho none the less distinct, was written: 
"The Land-Grant Colleges Must Furnish Their Quota." 



109 



So, the dreaded call had come to him, a sudden, shattering blow out of the 
cloudless blue. Stupefied, overpowered, he read and reread the fatal words. 
Then, with deliberate selfishness, he thrust them aside, and springing to his feet 
strode sternly down to the sultry hayfield. Doggedly, he went on with his work, 
but the jubilant life and zest of the morning were gone, and ever before him rose 
The Question with a burning force that would not down. The bitter battle of 
self and country was on. He lingered long about his evening work, turning home- 
ward at last with unwilling footsteps. He sat down to his late supper in gloomy 
silence, and Marian, knowing well his tempestuous moods, watched him with 
tender concern. 

In the fading evening light, sitting in the old high-backed settle, he fought 
alone the bitter fight. Why had this call come to him of all men? he who had so 
much to lose, so little to gain. Why this threatened "Yellow Peril?" 
this needless quarrel for empire? Why should these restless Oriental pigmies, 
with their varnished civilization, seek to bestride the world? And he who had 
so generously admired their fateful courage; who had praised their 
untiring industry; who had held them up as the ideal of a progressive nation, 
felt the bitter sting of the awakening viper in his bosom. He who had prided him- 
self on his broad view of life, who had held the universal brotherhood of man 
to be a possibility, nay, a certainty in his own age, felt sweeping thru his cool 
blood the blind racial hatred which overmasters the best and strongest of men 
when wife, home and country are in jeopardy. 

The call had come home to him! For the sake of old M. A. C, for the sake 
of the training she had given him, for the sake of those he loved, he must go. 
Ah! well he remembered that bright June day when, filled with ambitious hopes 
and ideals, he had graduated from the beloved alma mater. He had left with high 
honors. His instructors and classmates had expected much of him, but he had 
chosen rather to come quietly back to the simple life on the old, rundown farm, there 
to win a bounteous living from the kindly soil. He had taken in hand the worn- 
out land and set about patiently to regenerate its lost fertility, and abundantly 
had he succeeded. There had been many needless blunders and mistakes; his 
early progress being often difficult and slow, yet he had amply justified the wisdom 
of his choice to live a free, rugged, outdoor life ; independent, tho respected of men, 
a sturdy pioneer in the new agriculture that was building up the new empire of 
the South, the promised land of his enlightened day. With natural curiosity, 
his neighbors had watched his every move, criticising his novel methods more or 
less severely, and now that he had "made good" on his little hill-farm, they were 
all praise and pride and gratulation. But yesterday, it seemed to him in his happi- 
ness, he had brought home his gentle wife to their cozy cottage after years of faithful 
service. And now, it was all in vain, the end had come ! All his striving, all his 



prosperity were ready to vanish away ! Why should it be his lot, he, the man of 
education, of progress, of peace, to go to certain death beyond the seas? Could 
it be the will of God that he should deny himself his ambitious part in the great 
work of reconstruction, that his useful life should be the penalty of warring nations? 
Surely, the cup was bitter, his cross more than he could bear. He found it hard, 
very hard to lookout over those smooth slopes, dim in the falling dusk, those verdant 
slopes, once rough and scarred, that he had made to bear so fruitfully. It was harder 
still to sit helplessly in the stern grip of patriotic conscience and know that another 
day would see this fruitfulness, this luxuriance, this potential plenty gone forever. 
Selfishness, the love of ease, of plenty, of peace die hard ! 

The hour of stillness was at hand ; that solemn hour of benediction between 
the coming of night and the passing of day. Over the hill came the faint tinkle 
of sheep bells, mingling ever and anon with the subdued whirr of some belated 
fowl, taking its flight into a convenient apple tree. So the dusk continued to 
thicken. The fire-flies came flashing in and out among the dark tree trunks 
and danced to and fro over the dusky lawn. He was living in the beginning of 
things, a wild, perverse creature battling for self and home, the fear of the trial 
strong upon him. He looked within his naked soul and trembled at the flood of 
passion he saw pent within. He stood face to face with himself and longed to fly 
from his stern ideal, to cast his responsibility to the winds, to go on and on, away 
from everyone, from everything that he knew, that he might escape this supreme 
test, that he might not be weighed and found wanting. Caged, fettered, bound 
down within himself, he struggled to be free, when wild and weird from the shel- 
tering woods there came the plaintive cry of the whippoorwill. Awestricken, 
he listened, and in its sobbing cry he heard the unutterable longing of a lost and 
mournful spirit, doomed forever to wander in desolate exile from the scenes it 
loved. In wild, tumultuous beats it poured forth its bitter bereavement, its 
inconsolable anguish, its unending sorrow. In responding ecstacy he struggled 
to his feet. From his troubled soul, thrilled with protesting sympathy, an answer- 
ing cry went forth. Its sorrow, its anguish, its bereavement were his. But into 
the mournful melody there flowed a quieting undercurrent of passive resignation 
to fate, of patient acquiescence to its eternal doom, lulling, subduing his turbulent 
spirit ; soothing his black despair and, as abruptly as it broke out, the ghostly 
creature ceased. In the path before him stood the Spirit of Country, a stately 
being, her veiled form draped in supple folds, her arms extended to him in im- 
passioned entreaty. The scales fell from his eyes, and he looked beyond her 
imploring figure to where, across a continent, his countrymen were fighting for 
the integrity of their race; where, beyond the broad Pacific, they were suffering, 
falling, dying for him and those he loved. Out of his heart there leaped a cry; 



the flesh and spirit were rent in twain, the Love of Country had conquered. Victor 
at last over self, over ambition, over selfish love, he had committed himself, he 
had answered the call. 

He felt a light touch on his arm. It was Marian drawing him out of the 
rain that had begun to fall in large, splattering drops. With anxious questioning, 
she lifted her sweet, sensitive face to his. He caught her to him, kissed her pas- 
sionately and tenderly, led her within. With never a cry or murmur she received 
the bitter news; the arrow had struck too deep for tears or speech. For a few 
moments she clung to him desperately; then, brave little woman that she was, 
went silently back to her homely work. Later, amid the drip, drip of the falling 
rain, the sweet strains of her violin stole in thru the open door, and into its touch- 
ing melody she breathed her own heroic soul — comforting, strengthening him, carry- 
ing still deeper into his heart his abiding love for her, his Pearl of Great Price. She 
was very quiet, very affectionate all that last sad week, keeping for him a cheerful 
spirit. But once in the night he woke to hear her sobbing, and he knew full well 
that his was not the only heart-break, yet she had smiled quite bravely at their 
parting. In the buoyant days of youth we are ever prone to hope against hope, 
to see a turning to every lane, no matter how long or tortuous it may be. 

So Fenton dreamed on by the beautiful Inland Sea, and into his wandering 
mind there came another scene. He was no longer in America, no longer in the 
bounteous Southland, but in the sultry, purgatorial Philippines. The rain was 
falling, not with the brief violence of the thunderstorm, but in the steady, soaking 
flood of the tropics. About him rose the gigantic trees of the evergreen forest, 
their tall, straight trunks lost in the luxuriant wilderness of twining vines. Under 
their damp, oppressive shade, the rich, dark undergrowth steamed in the simmering 
heat. In front and rear of where he sfaggered along stretched long lines of hag- 
gard men, weak from hunger and loss of sleep. It was the vanguard of the Twenty- 
third Maryland marching to the relief of Zamboangu, where the Japs were making a 
most determined stand. Two sleepless nights they had spent out in this fearful 
weather, marching, with scarce a stop for sixty miles, thru the deep mire of the 
Mindanao roads. Their food was spoilt and moulding ; their khakis drenched and 
soaked in the beating rains. Wearily, they had slipped and stumbled thru long 
stretches of paddy fields, submerged in the falling floods. And now thru rank 
patches of maize, growing with tropical fury in the steaming soil ; thru the cognates, 
wild, burnt over wastes, black and hideous in the misty atmosphere, they had 
become within the dark shade of the dreaded forest. 

Four hours since they had made their last halt at the border station of Ayola. 
A pack of snarling curs rushed out to meet them, and in front of their low, thatched 
huts the bareheaded natives stood stolidly watching as the long, weary column 



I 12 



plodded by. They came to a halt in the boiling heat of the tropical noon, which, 
to them, fair-skinned men of the North, was nothing short of purgatory, an ex- 
cruciating purgatory of continuous flood and rain that neither cooled them nor 
yet slaked their feverish thirst. Far too faint and exhausted to crawl under even 
the shelter of the miserable huts, they threw themselves down on the rain- 
soaked ground, some collapsing in the very slough thru which they had been 
wading. There they had lain in the insufferable heat, aching in every muscle, 
soaked to the very bone, far too discouraged to eat or drink, their brief snatches of 
sleep fitful and troubled. A lonely officer of the constabulary, who had ridden 
out to meet them, shook his head discouragingly over their pitiable condition, 
and invited them up to his whitewashed station under the leafy palms, where, 
cheerfully, he served out his slender stock of cigars and tobacco to the grateful 
officers. 

At the rousing bugle call the poor bedraggled fellows staggered to their feet, 
fell into their places in line, and at the sharp command reeled dizzily forward. 
Many had neither eaten nor slept ; some shook in the shivering clutch of the fever 
ague ; others keeping in place only thru sheer fear of being left behind, a prey to the 
bloodthirsty Moros, who prowled in their footsteps. Despite the enlivening force 
of their grewsome fears, from time to time some poor exhausted fellow would pitch 
forward in his tracks, to be pushed hastily aside by his terrified comrades and left 
to a lingering death in the lonely forest. Early in the afternoon one poor devil 
had gone insane, and they had heard his mocking laugh from the fearsome fast- 
nesses for many a weary mile until the deadly miasma or some hovering head 
hunter struck him down. It was no time for humanitarian scruples; it was either 
move on or die. So they slipped and tottered thru the oozy slime, every man lost 
to the world, lost to his fellows, lost to everything save the crazing fear of 
death in the lonely forest. Each man's eyes were glued on his front-rank man, 
keeping step for step with him, wavering as he wavered, stumbling as he stumbled, 
falling as he fell. Save for a muttered curse, the low moaning of the delirious, 
and the eerie taunting cries of the ghostly mina birds, nothing broke the intermin- 
able slush, slush of the marching regiment and its tense, strained intentness. 

The head of the column turns into a dark defile. The first of the vanguard 
is lost in its dripping shades, when sharp in their deadened ears rings the startling 
crack of a rifle. A shout of warning follows, the long line wavers and halts. The 
crazed shouts of the ambushed and panic-stricken, the fierce yells of the hidden 
enemy, the agonized cries of the wounded, all mingle together in the deadly pop, 
pop of the fusilade. The command to deploy passes down the vanguard, and, 
instinctively, Captain Fenton turns to his startled, stupefied company, repeating 
the stern, "As skirmishers, march." Confusedly they scatter to right and left, 
unshnging their rifles as they go, crowding each other into the thick, dense growth 



113 



of the forest on either hand. Around the bend come the first of the stricken 
fugitives, flying with the uncontrolled madness of the terrified. The first company 
wavers and breaks; the second stands firm for a moment, then, turning with the 
torrent, joins the mad flight. Toward Fenton, where he stands with the rear com- 
pany of the support, surge the clamorous fugitives; his own men begin to melt 
away from behind him, and it needs but his word of retreat to complete the dis- 
graceful flight. A sudden terror lays hold of him, paralyzing, confounding him. 
He is swayed with the irresistible power of a wild, bestial instinct, urging him to 
fly, to save himself in the furious stampede. Under its baneful spell his vaunted 
self-possession, the cultivated courage of civilization withers away. He has be- 
come the primitive man, the fear of sudden death strong upon him, urging him 
to fly anywhere, to risk anything that he may escape with his own precious life. 
The supreme moment of decision is come ; the artificial training of centuries 
awaits the crucial test. He wavers, he falters, when lo! he sees her before him, 
she who led him hither, the guiding Spirit of Country. Before him she sweeps 
in warlike guise, no longer supplicating, no longer entreating, but clothed in awful 
majesty; her arms raised in furious defiance, leading, beckoning, commanding 
him onward. The fury of onset fills his heart. Thru his inspired frame courses 
the fiery courage of fearless patriotism. With a savage cry he springs forward, 
his gleaming sword circling the charge. On and on he follows the avenging spirit. 
He hears the wild cheering of the inspired men behind him as company after com- 
pany dashes headlong into the charging line. Up he comes to where the few sur- 
vivors of the color company are making desperate battle. On he charges, sweeping 
them with him ; on up the short, slippery slope to where the wily Japs have wheeled 
a field gun into position. Into their line he cuts his way, and, for the time being, 
with the turning of the tide of battle, the overconfident enemy falls back discom- 
fited. A lull in the bloody carnage follows, a moment of triumph fatal to the worn- 
out Americans, borne up by the fierce, thrilling excitement of the assault. The 
first flush of victory is passed. Their last furious spurt has exhausted their weak- 
ened strength, undermined as it is by lack of food and loss of sleep. 

With redoubled fury the Japs return to the slaughter. From every side, 
from front and rear, from the impregnable forest itself, nay, from under the verv 
feet of the astonished vanguard, they swarm up against the crumbling column. 
In a twinkling the long, narrow battle ground is broken up into tensely strug- 
gling groups. Around the gatling gun the fight is fiercely raging. Again and again 
his desperate men hurl back the enemy into the bloody, trampled slough. Again 
and again, fearless, undaunted, the yellow devils close in upon them, their fierce 
banzais raised in fiendish exultation. Fenton is fighting with the desperate 
fury of the hunted. Thinner and thinner grows the circle of protecting bayonets, 
higher and higher rise the heaps of dead around him. The demons hem him in 



114 



on every side, their swart faces grinning hideously into his, when, hark ! a distant 
bugle sounds. The relief is coming ! The main body is saved ! His brave stand 
has not been in vain! For a brief moment, an eternity of agony, blinded with 
blood, riddled and pierced with bayonet and bullet, he stands alone. Alone he 
keeps them off and then they break thru his guard and he knows no more. 



With a great shudder, gasping, choking for breath, Fenton falls back, con- 
vulsed and trembling. The death sweat gathers on his white brow in beaded drops. 
Pityingly, his faithful nurse hovers over him. The end is plainly near. A few 
brief moments he lies quite spent and still, then leaning, eagerly embraces the 
empty air, his thin, pale face lighted with ecstatic joy. He has seen her once more, 
the victorious Spirit of Country. Beautiful, adorable, angelic she stands beside 
him in the faint moonlight, now falling in soft splendor over the fairy sea. Humbly 
worshiping, he looks upon her. She is no longer an ethereal creature, extending 
her arms to him in wild, impassioned entreaty; no longer the inspired Valkyrie 
of battle leading him on to heroic death, but a comforting, protecting angel of peace, 
in whose serene presence he lies at rest. With a queenly grace she bends tenderly 
over her prostrate knight. Triumphant, he sees her face at last. It is the face 
of Marian; Marian glorified in his sacrifice, transfigured by his love, the woman 
perfected, in whose shining eyes is revealed the grateful thanksgiving of a thousand 
sweethearts, wives and mothers. Proudly she yields her fair form to his fervid 
embrace. Their lips meet in a long, loving kiss, the kiss of perfect peace, and with 
a deep sigh of content he falls asleep. So even in the Shadow of Death is Paradise ; 
so even the Tove of Country conquers. 

O. M., '08. 




115 



The Student's Love 



The old church-yard in the Httle town of Goslar did not interest me much, 
however. The more, because of a wondrous curly little head that I had seen 
peep smilingly out over a high window garden on entering the town. After dinner, 
I sought out the bewitching window, but except for a glass of white bluebells standing 
on the sill, there was nothing there. Eagerly, I clambered up, took possession 
of the pretty little flowerets, coolly fastened them in my cap, and, although a little 
disconcerted at the wide-open mouths, petrified noses, and goggle eyes with which 
the good people of the street, especially the old women, regarded my pardonable 
theft, I walked on. When an hour later, I once more passed by the house, the fair 
charmer was standing again in the window. Spying the nodding bluebells in my 
cap, she blushed furiously and drew back in maidenly confusion. Nevertheless, 
I had succeeded in seeing her beautiful countenance much closer ; it was a delicious 
incarnation of the gentle zephyr of the summer's evening mingled with straying 
moonbeams, the liquid notes of the nightingale, and the sweet scent of roses. 
Later, as darkness came on, I saw her trip out before the door. I came, — I 
approached still nearer, — and, as she drew lingeringly back within the dusky 
entrance, I caught her by the hand and murmured caressingly, "I am a lover of 
the beautiful, of fragrant flowers, of sweet kisses; and that which I cannot win 
freely, I steal;" and stealthily I kissed her. But when she would have fled, I 
whispered to her appeasingly. . . . On the morrow I went forth never to 
return, and I felt once more the sweet, stolen pressure of those dear lips and little 
hands — and laughingly I hastened on and away from the scene of my adventure. 
I laugh, indeed, when I recollect that I have just unconsciously uttered the magic 
words with which, in their lace-bearded lovliness, our Red and Bluecoats are wont 
to conquer the heart of women, saying like myself, "On the morrow, I go forth 
never to return." 

Translated from "Die Harzreise" of the Student Heine. — Q. 71/., '08. 



116 



The Lloronas of Peru 



In the old colonial days of Peru there once existed in the ancient citv of Lima 
a strange association of women ; women as old as time and ugly as sin ; their grim 
and hideous faces, wrinkled and furrowed like dried-up raisins, and whose chief 
and only occupation it was to weep and cry at funerals. These women Nature 
had provided with lachrymal glands of extraordinary size and capacity, and the 
overflow in times of lamentation was as copious as the downpouring floods of a 
fierce thunderstorm. The Lloronas — for such these professional mourners were 
called — were supposed to practice the black art as well, an assumption well founded 
in their grewsome, witchlike aspect. 

Whenever a person of means or prominence came to settle his account with 
the world his near friends and relatives would zealously search out the most fa- 
mous mourner, who, with her attendant band, straightway repaired to the resi- 
dence of the deceased and, at four dollars a day for herself and two dollars apiece 
for her attendants, would make the air hideous with their frenzied cries. A few 
dimes in excess of the regular price would always insure a first-class funeral, for, 
not only would the "cry women" weep copiously and profusely praise the good 
deeds and merits of the dead, but they would even faint, fall to the ground, tear 
their hair, bite and kick each other, and jump high in the air in their ecstacv of 
lamentation, scratching and bruising the friends and relatives who were present. 

Like all others who depend on flattery for a living, these Lloronas were neither 
accurate nor truthful in their extravagant eulogies over the dead, and amid sobs 
and bitter streams of tears they would exclaim : 

"Boohoo! So good and generous!" (and the poor fellow had been as greedy 
as Midas and as wicked as Cain). "Boohoo! So brave and daring!" (and more 
likely than not the unfortunate man had died from his superstitious fears of ghosts 
and spooks). "Boohoo! So very honest and such a good Christian!" (and the 
dead rascal was sure to have been a notorious thief and a graceless heathen). 

The interment completed, the Lloronas returned directly to the home of the 
deceased, there to remain in a continued state of lamentation as long as the period 
of mourning lasted, which was usually a month or more, drawing, of course, all 
the while their two dollars and odd dimes per day. 



117 



Our story begins with the death of a wealthy citizen of Lima, whose friends 
and relatives at once went out to secure for the benefit of the deceased the services 
of one of the most celebrated Lloronas in all the city. However, in their haste 
they left her the wrong address, and the chief mourner, with the unusually large 
number of associates suitable to the occasion, immediately sought out the house 
where the departed dead was supposed to be peacefully taking his last, long sleep 
on earth. 

It was early in the morning, and His Lordship the Marquis of Bobadella, 
Count of Buena Vista, Prince of Esquilache and master over 1 do not know how 
many more estates, was still in bed enjoying a quiet sleep after the carouse of 
the night before, when the door flew violently open, the mourners rushed into the 
room, surrounded him on every side, and at once proceeded to give vent to their 
professional weeping and crying. The Marquis was filled with strange sensations ; 
something wrong was evidently going on about him. His dreams were no longer 
peaceful, but disagreeable and disturbing. He fancied and heard all sorts of 
queer things. The roof appeared to have blown off, and in great floods an awful 
rain was pouring down upon him, while the devil himself, broken loose from his 
den in the world below, was raising a terrible uproar and din within the very 
palace. At last, however, the cry of the Lloronas became so loud and their 
streams of tears so dense and voluminous that the Marquis, verily expecting to 
meet the "Evil One" himself, awoke, and, with a shudder, sat up in bed. With 
terror he perceived the stern and hideous faces of the mourners about him, and 
thinking himself in a bad way; in fact, en route to the nether regions, if not 
already there, he sprang up and, throwing his bedclothes aside, broke through the 
circle of grim hags about him, making off as fast as his shaking legs could 
carry him. 

Seeing, as they supposed, the dead come to life, the Lloronas, now in their 
turn affrighted, rushed madly out of the house, crying still louder and more pro- 
fusely than ever. Their distress, however, was now quite real, and their tears 
were no longer the stony tears of crocodiles. So they ran pell mell thru the quiet 
streets of Lima, at the very heels of His Lordship the Marquis of Bobadefla, Count 
of Buena Vista, Prince of Esquilache, etc., who, lightly clad in a primitive and 
by no means decorous costume, was flying with all haste from his comfortable 
abode, stiff firmly believing that the Master of Hell and his pack of fiends was in 
pursuit of him. Thus the mad chase continued; the bewildered and affrighted 
Marquis fleeing from the howling Lloronas, and they, fearful of they knew not what, 
racing behind him. Everyone in Lima, attracted by the unusual noise and the 
strange sight presented by the noisy procession, came speeding out of his house 
and immediately started in a dead run after the naked Marquis and his attendant 
furies. So, altho it was early in the day, an immense crowd had gathered in the 
rear of the strange party within a few moments. Men, women and children 



ii8 



dropped their work or play, some even arousing themselves out of bed to join in 
the exciting pursuit. Thus they came into one of the principal streets of Lima, 
a great concourse of curious and foolish people, preceded by a pack of grim and 
exceedingly ugly old women, who were strenuously engaged in racing with a negli- 
gibly clad man, sprinting just out of their reach. 

So great, indeed, had the noise, the confusion and the disorder become that 
His Excellency the Viceroy, also awakened from pleasant dreams, started up, 
thinking that nothing less than a revolutionary army had entered the city. He 
at once aroused his corpulent generals and gave orders for calling out the royal 
troops. These generals, like the good Viceroy himself, had to be awakened from 
their comfortable sleep, minutely dressed, and their moustachios carefully curled, 
before they could enter the august presence, and had a rebel army really been thire 
they would have assuredly made short work of capturing the noble Viceroy, his 
brave generals and their much-prized curling irons. But, as I said, the Viceroy 
aroused his trusty lieutenants and straightway ordered them to make full prepara- 
tion to repel this sudden invasion of the rebel armies. So they placed a number 
of huge and very deadly-looking cannon at the heads of the principal streets and 
made ready for immediate action ; meanwhile the courageous Viceroy, giving his 
black moustache an extra fierce twirl, mounted his spirited steed at the head of 
several squadrons of cavalry and set off at full gallop in pursuit of the supposed 
revolutionists. 

At the sound of the armed body of men bearing down upon them a great 
consternation seized the excited mob, and without delay they dispersed, everyone 
taking good care to keep out of sight of the King's brave soldiers and striving to 
make his own escape certain. Consequently, by the time that the puffing Vicerov 
and his party reached the head of the column, the "revolutionary army" had quite 
disappeared, and even the Lloronas, recovering their scattered senses, melted away 
into the by-streets as if by magic. And thus it came to pass that his astonished 
Excellency found on the scene of expected battle but one lone quaking man, 
his face as white as a sheet, his eyes bulging with terror, his tongue clinging to the 
roof of his mouth, and his perspiring body clothed in a garb very similar to that 
worn by Adam and Eve before they left Paradise. And you may imagine his 
surprise when he recognized in the terrified individual no less a personge than 
his boon companion and trusted friend, His Lordship the Right Honorable Mar- 
quis of Bobadella and Prince of Esquilache. 

The poor Marquis was very bewildered and could not explain anything that 
had happened. In a vague way he remembered that while dreaming of the 
devil and an awful thunderstorm a whole legion of screeching spirts and ven- 
omous witches had awakened and pursued him, and he had no doubts but that they 
intended to rob him of his immortal soul and bear him to the very depths of the 



119 



infernal regions, there to roast him in eternal nakedness. The Viceroy was quite 
put out at the tame end of his adventure. He had anticipated a warm fight, 
and really the morning air was so destructive to the proper curling of his moustache ! 
However, for the sake of decency, he lent the now shivering Marquis his coat, 
and in a very bad temper returned to his palace, determined to go to the root 
of this unusual disorder and the rough treatment of his noble friend, the Prince 
of Esquilache. 

Sometime afterward His Excellency learned that none other than the 
most illustrious association of mourning women was responsible for the great 
disorder which had aroused him from his pleasant morning sleep, and called out 
the royal troops, beside nearly scaring to death his dear friend, the Marquis. In 
fact, the latter contracted a bad cold from his adventure, which had put an end 
to their potations for some time to come. So, justly angered, the Viceroy decreed 
that from that time forth, upon the pain of immediate death, professional mourning 
be no longer practiced in Peru. And so, from that day to this, the Lloronas have 
been seen no more, and thus this most ancient and honorable art was lost to Peru. 
So, now, when one dies in that beautiful land he no longer has the satisfaction of 
knowing that someone, at least, even if only hired for the occasion, will cry and 
shed tears at his funeral. 

Translated from the Peruvian bv C. Solan, '08. 




Athletic Association 



Officers 

President Urah W. Long 

Vice-President J. Wm. Firor 

Secretary S. M. Lowrey 

Treasurer L. B. Broughton 

ATHLETIC COUNCIL 

Prof. C. S. Richardson, Chairman 
Prof. F. B. Bomberger Prof. H. T. Harrison 

Student Members 
T. B. Mackall, Secretary 
B. R. Cooper L. O. Jarrell U. W. Long 

ATHLETIC TEAMS 

Football 
Manager — L. O. L^RREi.L Captain — H. C. Evans 

Baseball 
Manager — T. B. Mackall Captain — J. P. Grason 

Track 

Manager and Captain — U. W. Long 

Tennis 

Manager — B. R. Cooper 

Captain — J. O. Crapster 



Football: A Defense 



Perhaps there is no college in the country that has made the stride in her ath- 
letics that M. A. C. has taken in the last five or six years, and in no branch of 
sport has she been as successful as in football. Prior to 1904 M. A. C. depended 
chiefly on her baseball teams to win renown for her on the athletic field, but 
since that time football has leaped to the front with astonishing rapidity, and at 
the present time is looked upon and fostered as our chief athletic sport. 

During the past few years our football team has made a record of which the 
alumni, faculty and those which are connected with the institution may well be 
proud, for it has met upon the gridiron and defeated the best college teams in 
this part of the country. 

And I believe to the success of our football team in recent years may be at- 
tributed in a large measure the widespread advertisement which the college has 
been lately receiving. That the alumni and those who are working for the good 
of the college have at least come to realize that our football team is not a farce, 
but rather a very desirable asset, is shown by the admirable support which they 
have given us at different times both on and off the field. 

There seems lately, however, to have been a crusade against football, and 
magazine articles, written by men who probably never played a game in their 
lives, have aroused in many people a bitter aversion to the sport. This aversion 
has caused many parents to forbid their sons playing football at all, thus keeping 
off of the college team men who otherwise would be excellent players and do good 
work in helping to bring victory to their college. 

I do not deny that there is an element of danger in the game, but I do say 
that the danger and so-called brutality of it has been in many cases, if not always, 
exaggerated. In all my experience with football I do not remember to have 
seen a man meet with a serious accident, or even an accident that threw him out 
of the game for the rest of the season. If we consult the so-called casualty lists, 
which are often printed in the newspapers, we find that almost everyone of the 
seriously injured belonged to some public school or athletic club team which 
had never been taught even the rudiments of the game. 



123 



The danger of receiving a serious injury, such as the class just referred to 
receive, is so small as not to be considered by the man playing on a college team, 
because he is taught how to meet the plays and attacks of his opponents with the 
least possible chance of injury to himself. I believe that the thorough training 
that a man receives by a competent coach almost entirely eliminates any chance 
of his receiving a permanent injury. 

Another reason why some students have not been permitted to play football 
is that the time given to practice is too valuable to be spent thus; that the time 
that is spent upon the field could be put to a better advantage if the student were 
so minded. How many students do you suppose put in this time in preparing their 
lessons for the following day? Not one out of a hundred. Almost everyone real- 
izes the fact that to be successful in any line of life a man must be physically strong. 
Then, is it not much better for the boy to put in his spare time upon the football 
field, thus developing in himself the perfect physical man, than it is for him to 
while away his time by indulging in a game of cards or some other such pastime 
that is neither conducive to his moral nor physical welfare ? Ah I if many parents 
could only realize that their sons were wasting their time in this manner, for such 
I know to have been the case in several instances, they would never hestitate to give 
them their consent to indulge in the game. As to taking the needed time away from 
that which is necessary to prepare lessons for the following day, I will say that in 
all of the three years that I have been a member of the 'varsity team there has never 
been a single instance when I have not had ample time to prepare any task which 
may have been set for me. And if one will but consult the individual records 
of all the members of the classes they will find that those students who have been 
members of football teams have always done very creditable work, and, further- 
more, many who have made enviable records for themselves in their different de- 
partments. Of course, a boy enters college primarily to prepare himself for 
his life's work, but he can never hope to attain much success unless he possesses 
a strong healthy body; for, after all, we are only animals, and need bodily exercise 
as one of the essentials of good health, and nowhere will this requirement be ful- 
filled better than on the football field. 

I believe that nowhere is there a greater opportunity afforded for the devel- 
opment of one's character than on the gridiron. There is no finer discipline in 
the world than that which is received on the football field. The lessons which 
are learned there are many and varied. Patience, persistency, quickness of percep- 
tion are taught all together, and in absorbing these lessons one learns to appreciate 
his own ability and to have confidence in himself. In other words, he feels him- 
self to be a man in the true sense of the word. An English writer once said while 
speaking of the Duke of Wellington that the Battle of Waterloo had been won 
years before on the football field of Eton. 



124 



Football is not what it seems to the uninitiated spectator — twenty-two men 
scrambling for the possession of a leather ball — but it represents what we see in 
the every-day life around us — competition with one's fellow-man, and the keen 
striving for the mastery of each over the other. In looking back over our past lives 
we often find instances upon which we love to dwell, and which appeal particularly 
to us; and many are the successful business men who look back with pride upon 
the days when they played on their college football team. 

No matter what profession I may follow, or to what part of the world I may 
be carried by force of circumstances, I shall always look back upon the three years 
when I occupied a place on the 'varsity team as the happiest period of my life. 
Associations and friendships were then formed which will never be forgotten, 
since I was brought into closer touch with my companions than I otherwise would, 
and thus came to learn their true characters. 

In conclusion, I will say that I have endeavored to set forth the advantages 
and disadvantages of football, not as they have seen from the side-lines, but as 
I have really experienced them. This article is written in defense of football 
because I do not believe that a manly sport should be condemned because in some 
instances it has been abused. College football teams do not turn out men who are 
a reincarnation of the gladiators of old Rome, whose only glory was in the spilling 
of human blood, but they produce, rather, men whose triumphs arise from skill 
and the mastering of an art. On college football teams will be found men who 
are noble and true; men who have lofty ideals and are willing to stand strongly 
by them; men who realize that in a strong and free community like ours the 
coward and weakling have no place; men who realize that a combination of 
bodily vigor and moral quality go a long way toward enabling them to fight life's 
battles more successfully, and I think that parents would find college life more 
tasteful, more pleasant and more productive of good results to their sons if, 
when entering upon their college career, instead of admonishing them not to play 
football, they would follow the example of our worthy President, and tell them, 
"Don't flinch, don't fail, but hit the line hard." 

H. C. Byrd, '08. 



125 



Football Schedule for the Season of 1907 



Sept. 


28 


Oct. 


5 


Oct. 


9 


Oct. 


12 


Oct. 


19 


Oct. 


26 


Nov. 


2 


Nov. 


9 


Nov. 


16 


Nov. 


23 


Nov. 


28- 



OPPONENTS PLAYED AT 

-Tech. High School, Wash., D. C. . Cohege Park. . . 

-Richmond College Richmond, Va. 

-U. S. Naval Academy Annapolis, Md. 

-Mt. St. Mary's Emmitsburg, Md. 

-Balto. Poly. Inst. vs. Sec. Team . College Park, Md. 
-Geo. Washington University . . Washington, D. C 

-Catholic University Cancelled ... 

-Washington College Chestertown, Md. 

-St. John's College College Park, Md 

-Gallaudet College Kendall Green, D. C. 

-Western Maryland College .... Cancelled 



SCORE 

A. C OPP. 



13 
5 
o 
6 

5 
1 1 

10 
o 
o 



o 
II 

12 

12 

4 

o 

5 
16 

5 



C. W. Sylvester Manager 

L. O. Jarrell Assistant Manager 

C. G. Church Coach 

Line-up of Team 

Wilson, Benson Right End 

Hicks Right Tackle 

lyUNN Right Guard 

Ruffner Center 

HoEN Left Guard 

Evans Left Tackle 

Tauszky, Cory Left End 

Byrd (Captain) Quarterback 

DoAK Right Halfback 

Mackall Fullback 

Cooper Left Halfback 

Substitutes 
vStiffler, Fields, Adams, Rumig. 



126 



Football '07 



Are we all dead yet! Are we all dead yet? 
No, by golly, there're eleven left yet! 
Come, and get your quinine. 

"Football! Football! That's the game for me!" This and other phrases 
of a similar character are all one hears for two weeks after college opens. The 
spirit of football puts everything else aside. One wave of its magic hand, and 
presto ! — the unanimous support of the student body is at its feet. Then the crisp- 
ness of the fall air, with its tingling touch of cold, is enough in itself to induce one 
to don his football togs and set his blood to flowing faster thru sluggish veins. 

The ever memorable season of '07 can hardly be looked upon as successful, 
yet none of its reverses are attributable to lack of energy or strength on the part 
of the team or student body. Let us call it rather simple, plain "hard luck." 
We had ample material, bone and sinew, but Fate was against us, and, therefore, 
it was mostly "us" who swallowed the "quinine." 

On October 9th we took the train for Annapolis, there to play, as had been our 
time-honored custom, the mighty "Middies." We were most sanguine in the 
hope that this year we would lower our opponents' score and break our former 
record, and, indeed, why should we not have? However, we changed nothing 
materially except, perhaps, the expression on the faces of our opponents, for 
time and again it seemed inevitable but that our proverbial goose egg would 
actually materialize into a possible 5 or 6. But, pshaw, the inevitable happens 
sometimes and sometimes it doesn't ; it didn't that day ! 

Almost immediately following the Navy game came another no less impor- 
tant, viz., the George Washington University game. Ah! but that was a game, 
indeed ! How I would like to picture it as vividly as it was played ! On the one 
side, weight and brute strength ; on the other, swiftness and training, indomitable 
pluck and nerve! What a sarcastic "Oh!" greeted us as we entered the field; 
what a mournful and respectful "Oh!" when we left it! Yes, sir! We whipped 
that crowd just eleven to zip. Hard luck, Nielsen! 



128 



But let us continue. On Nov. 9th we find ourselves in Chestertown — once 
of bitter memory, but now looked back upon as one of the pleasantest experiences 
of the past season. In Chestertown? Yes. Pray, what for? Well, I don't 
know, do you? And it was in just this spirit that we played that Washington 
College game. I really believe that some of our boys thought they had right much 
of a " cinch , ' ' but let anyone say what he may to the contrary, that game was a hard, 
close struggle all the way thru. When we came off the field we were victors by 
a score of only eleven to five. Surely, nothing to be so hilarious about, after all! 

The season had now become far advanced, and at length the eventful day 
had come when we were to play the most important game of the season — against 
St. John's. The day dawned bright and clear, the sun shone benignly down upon 
us, and all Nature seemed on the eve of celebrating a great victory. Wearily, 
the long hours of anticipation dragged by. Everyone was bustling to and fro 
as a prelude to the opening of hostilities. I say hostilities because St. John's 
is fully as antagonistic toward us as we are toward them. We are like oil and 
water — simply won't mix. 

After a short, preliminary practice the teams were lined up under the eyes 
of the greatest M. A. C. and St. John's crowd ever seen on our old campus. The 
referee's whistle sounded and the game of '07 was on. Five tense minutes passed 
and neither team had accomplished anything, and then — I fear to tell of it — 
our opponents brought that wonderful forward pass into play, and following it 
up with a fake, scored a goal from the field, and they were on top. The next 
ten minutes, however, was strenuously contested. Twice were we within strik- 
ing distance of our goal, and twice we lost. Again the forward pass was worked 
successfully, and again, with a few timely fakes, scored another goal for our op- 
ponents. So, with a little further scrimmaging, the first half ended. 

During the second our boys showed their superior strength to better ad- 
vantage, Byrd making a run of nearly 90 yards with the pigskin only to lose once 
more on the one-yard line. Then, again, we steadily swept them off their feet, 
but only to lose a sure goal on a mere fumble. By this time our opponents had 
added another and their last goal to their score of 16 to o, and the pennant was 
theirs. 

In closing, we, of the football team of '07, have no excuses to make; we ask 
no quarter, but sincerely hope that succeeding teams will profit by our unfortunate 
experience and bear in mind the saying, "Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, 
I will repay." 

'Varsity, '08 



129 



Sophomore vs. Freshman 



Our Juniors, having become imbued with an effeminate taste for Bacchan- 
ahan festivities and ceremonial smokers, and bearing in mind as well a vivid recol- 
lestion of their downfall of the year before, decided to forswear all manly sports, 
and fearing another even more humiliating defeat at the hands of the lordly Soph- 
omores, declined to play the annual interclass game. Consequently, the Sophs, 
deprived of their lawful prey, just felt as though they had to "lick" somebody, 
even if it were the "dignified" Seniors, and decided at length that upon the long- 
suffering "Freshies" the blow must fall. The score, of course, would be at least 
a hundred to "zip" — in favor of the Sophs — but on the day of the contest, 
after sixty minutes of hard playing on a muddy, slippery field, the closely-contested 
game ended only 20 to 10 in favor of the heavy Sophomore team — such a plucky 
and nervy defense did the fast Httle "Freshies" put up. Under the unfavorable 
conditions in which the game was played, both teams did remarkably well, and 
plenty of excellent material for next year's 'varsity was brought under the lime- 
light. In straight football, however, the Freshmen clearly outplayed their op- 
ponents, altho the Sophs got away on one or two long and lucky runs that un- 
doubtedly won the dav for them. To quote the Washington Star, "The Fresh- 
men put up a strong, snappy and plucky game against overwhelming odds," 
but, after all, the Sophomores won, and we await next year's contest with eager 
anticipation. Go get 'em. Freshmen! Go get 'em. Sophomores! 

Line-up 
Position 



Freshman 
Gary 
HoEN, S. . 
Glass . . 
Fields 
White, M. 

LUNN . . 

Benson 
Burns 



1. e. 
1. t. 

Ig- 
c. 

r- g- 
r. t. 
r. e. 

q. b. 



AlKENHEAD 1. h. b 

Silvester, L ?• b 

Smith r. h. b 

Referee: "Curly" Byrd 
Umpire: "Rat" Mackall 
Tiviekeepers: Paradis and Price 
Time: Two thirtv minute halves 



Sophomores 
Crapster 

HOEN, R. 
OSEORNE 

. Ward 

Stabler 

Evans, H. 

Andrews 

Grason 

Bauer 

Hicks 

DOAK 



130 



Prospects for 1908 



The prospects for a winning football team in the fall of 1908 are very bright 
and indicate that we will develop an eleven equal to any that has ever represented 
the college in former years. There is plenty of good material here, and efforts 
are being made to secure a coach who will aid us in accomphshing those glorious 
victories that will be branded upon our memories for years to come. The student 
body at this college is very enthusiastic over football, and they manifest their 
spirit and interest by supporting the team by every means possible, especially by 
the presence of a large squad on the field every evening during the season. And 
through the increased spirit and love and sport we confidentlv believe that past 
records will be, by far, excelled by the team of 1908. With regret we announce 
that our team will be seriously weakened by the graduation of Byrd, quarter back • 
Mackall, fullback; Cooper, left halfback; and Ruffner, center; all of whom 
have been "star" players for M. A. C. during the past three years. But we are 
thoroughly convinced that Capt. Evans will be able to develop a new back field 
and as excellent a team from the good raw material as even our most ardent 
admirers can anticipate. 

L. 0. /., 09 

FOOTBALL SCHEDULE FOR THE SEASON OF 1908 
Date Opposing Team Place To Be Played 

Sept. 26 . . . . Technical High School, Washington .... College Park, Md. 

Oct. 3 Richmond College Richmond, Va. 

Oct. 10 .... Johns Hopkins University Baltimore, Md. 

Oct. 14 . . . . U. S. Naval Academy Annapolis, Md. 

Oct. 31 .... Fredericksburg College College Park, Md. 

Nov. 7 .... Catholic University of America College Park, Md. 

Nov. 14 .... St. John's College Baltimore, Md. 

Nov. 21 .... Washington College College Park, Md. 

Nov. 26 ... . Delaware College . College Park, Md. 



131 



Champions '07 

M. A. C, M. A. C. 
It's as plain as plain can be 

We've got up a tree 

M. A. C, M. A. C. 
Beat 'em! Beat 'em! Beat 'em! Beat 'em! 
M. A. C. 

Seldom in her athletic history has M. A. C. turned out a more successful team 
than that which so ably represented her on the diamond in the spring of '07. At 
the first call for candidates only four of the previous year's first team reported 
on the field for practice, together with a very limited amount of new material. 
Prospects for a good team seemed, indeed, poor; we had lost our star battery 
by graduation, and thus M. A. C. was, at the beginning of a new season, with her 
initial points in a very weak condition. However, thru the encouraging influence 
of able coaching, the rough edges were soon worn off and the team began to show 
really surprising strength. In the earlier contests of the season M. A. C. appeared 
deplorably weak in one or two positions, but these being remedied by substitu- 
tion, she proved to be in a stronger and much more satisfactory state than even 
her most optimistic supporters could have possibly hoped for. 

During the entire season not a game was lost to a Maryland college team, 
and the championship of the Intercollegiate Athletic League, composed of St.. 
John's, Washington, Western Maryland, and Maryland Agricultural Colleges, 
was easily ours. Of these St. John's, the first to be played, was handily won by 
a score of 7 to 2 ; Western Maryland by 6 to i , and as for Washington College, 
their team was shut out without a hit. Thru the whole series the team played 
together with remarkable consistency, and it was owing to this devoted "team" 
work more than to any other one thing that the champions of '07 owed their re- 
markable success. All due credit must be given to the individual players as well. 
Realizing our greatest need to be that of a competent catcher. Captain Grason, 
altho himself inexperienced, undertook to hold down the position, and from the 
day on which he went behind the bat the team has never lacked a strong and effi- 
cient battery. Byrd, in the pitcher's box, developed unusual ability in his line, 
pitching all three of the league games and losing only three out of the fourteen 
games in which he officiated. On the initial bag Evans had no superior in the 
State; and Reeder, holding down second, was without question as able a player 



132 



for that position as M. A. C. ever had. In protecting their half of the diamond, 
at short and third respectively, Walters and Timanus did excellent work, while 
the outfield, consisting of Mayer, Martin and Darby, showed up in remark- 
ably good style. Jarrell, as substitute pitcher, pitched several games suc- 
cessfullv, and, had his arm not given out, in all probability would have been 
seen in the box much oftener. 

The prospects for a winning team this year are unusually bright. Only 
three or four games have as yet been played, but in these, especially that with 
the Navy, in which we held the "Middies" down to the score of 3 to 2, the team 
has shown excellent form. Almost all the players on last year's championship 
team are with us again, and the line-up also, with the exception of Hicks in right 
field and Jarrell in center, is practically the same ; Byrd being once more on the 
slab, with Captain Grason receiving. Reeder, Evans, Walters and Timanus are 
covering ground in the infield in grand style, while Mayer, together with Hicks 
and Jarrell, the new men, are doing good work in the outfield. And now, altho 
the Intercollegiate League has been dissolved, and, owing to a disagreement, 
the Western Maryland game will not be played this season, we are looking eagerly 
forward to another decisive victory over our strong, old-time rival — St. John's! 

H. C. B., '08 

'Varsity, '07 & '08 



BASEBALL SCHEDULE FOR 1907 

Fredericksburg College, 9; M. A. C, 3 

Johns Hopkins University, 7; M. A. C, 6 . 

Western High School, i ; M. A. C, o . . 

Mt. St. Mary's College, 3; M. A. C, 4 . , 

Technical High School, 5; M. A. C, 8 . . 
Washington and Lee University, 13; M. A. C, i . 

Virginia Military Institute, 12; M. A. C, o . 

Catholic University of America, 2; M. A. C, 3 . . 

Fredericksburg College, 2; M.A.C.,7. 

Delaware College, 2 ; M. A. C, 7 , . 

St. John's College, 2; M. A. C, 7 . 

Delaware College, 7; M. A. C, i . 

Franklin and Marshall, 5; M.A.C.,8.. 

Catholic University of America, i ; M. A. C, 7 . . 

Western Maryland College, i ; M. A. C, 6 . . 

Washington College, o; M. A. C, 3 . . 



Fredericksburg, Va. 
, . Baltimore, Md. 
. College Park, Md. 

Emmitsburg, Md. 
. College Park, Md. 
. . Lexington, Va. 
. . Lexington, Va. 
. College Park, Md. 
. College Park, Md. 
. College Park, Md. 
. College Park, Md. 
. . . Newark, Del. 
. College Park, Md. 
. College Park, Md. 
. Westminster, Md. 

Chestertown, Md. 



^?>?> 



Baseball Schedule for 1908 



Date Team Where played 

March 21 . . Georgetown University . . Georgetown, D. C. 

28 . . Georgetown University . . Georgetown, D. C. 

April I . Naval Academy Annapolis, Md. 

3 . . Randolph-Macon College . Ashland Va. 

" 4. . Fredericksburg College . . Fredericksburg, Va. 

8 . . Catholic University ... College Park 

II. . Delaware College College Park 

20 . Richmond College . . Richmond, Va. 

25. . Mt. St. Joseph's College . . Baltimore, Md. 

May I . . Fredericksburg College . . College Park 

" 2 . . Delaware College Newark, Del. 

6. . Catholic University .... College Park 

9 . . St. John's College Annapolis, Md. 

13 Revenue Cutter Service . . College Park 

16. Eastern College College Park 

20. . Technical High School . . College Park 

23 . . Gallaudet College Kendall Green, D. C. 

27 . Gallaudet College ..... College Park 

30 . . Washington College .... College Park 

June 9 . . Alumni College Park 

BASEBALL LINE-UP 

Thos. B. Mackall Manager 

A. C. Turner Asst. Manager 

W. E. Warren Coach 

Grason and Paradis Catchers 

Byrd and Silvester, R Pitchers 

Evans ist Base 

Reeder 2d Base 

White, J. R , 3rd Base 

Walters, H. M vShort Stop 

TiMANUS Left Field 

Jarrell, T. D Center Field 

Hicks Right Field 

Mayer and HoEn, S Substitutes 



134 



Track Notes 



For the first time in the history of M. A. C. indoor track work has engaged 
the attention of the team. With only a short corridor in the old barracks as an 
excuse for a track, no trainer and a very limited equipment, the men deserve 
much credit for sticking to a self-imposed task that meant the hardest kind of 
work, with little or no reward save the satisfaction of knowing that they were 
pioneers in an excellent cause. 

This season has been a success in the broadest sense, and altho the team has 
never won first place in any event, they have put up several of the most exciting 
races seen in Washington this year. 

In the first games of the year, the George Washington University Meet, the 
team was matched against Richmond College and the University of Maryland. 
At the crack of the gun Cory led the bunch off and held first place until the 
beginning of the last lap, where the Richmond man jumped ahead and finished 
about two yards in the lead. Adams took up the running, but could not win. 
The lead of three yards was too much for Capt. Long to make up and Byrd was 
touched off for the last relay about five yards behind. He ran a splendid race 
and at one time gained rapidly, but the Richmond man had a reserve sprint and 
led the way home by a couple of yards. The time of this race was the fastest run 
that night. Maryland University was hopelessly beaten. Byrd ran in the novice 
fifty-yard dash, winning his preliminaries handily, but got only third place in the 
finals, owing to the fact that he was set back two yards for twice making false starts. 

In the Federal games, several weeks later, we were matched against the fast 
Baltimore City College team and Brown Preparatory School, the latter touted 
as winners by the management. This time the order of running was as follows: 
Byrd, Adams, Cory and Long. Baltimore won the toss with M. A. C. on the out- 
side. This race was a mile relay, each man running three laps. For the first 
two laps City College led, with the other two close. On the back stretch of his 
lap Byrd made a magnificent sprint and touched Adams off a good ten yards in 
the lead. This proved close towards the finish and resulted in Baltimore gaining 
a lead of several yards. Cory took up the remaining and finished even. The last 
relay was very close up to the beginning of the home stretch, when Baltimore drew 
away, winning by a narrow margin. The "touted winners" came in later. 



136 



The last indoor meet of the season was the big Georgetown University Car- 
nival. In this the first team was entered against Catholic University, who backed 
out at the last minute, Baltimore City College being substituted. The second 
team was entered against the McCulloch Juniors and the Western High School 
Reserves. Both teams kicked against the size of our men, and when the race was 
run off our men were shut out of the race without further explanation. Upon 
making a protest, Capt. Long found that he could obtain no redress. The first 
team ran the closest and most exciting race of the evening. Long started the race, 
and notwithstanding that he stumbled and lost the pole at the very outset, finished 
ahead of his man. Adams next ran a fine race, finishing well in front. Cory, 
who took up the running, lost the distance gained by Adams, touching off Byrd 
even with City College's last man. These two raced evenly for two laps, and then 
each man, using his utmost strength, put up a fight to the tape that brought the 
audience to its feet standing with enthusiasm. The Baltimore man showed the 
most strength, however, and won out by two feet. 

The team expects to go to the Pennsylvania Carnival on April twenty-fifth, 
where they will get a chance to show their heels to their old rivals, St. John's and 
Delaware. 

The crying need of this institution is a gymnasium. The room under the 
library cannot possibly be called anything but a makeshift , and a poor one at that. 
There is no reason why, in this age, when athletics are considered by eminent 
educationalists as much of a necessity as book-knowledge, M. A. C. should not 
have a well-equipped gymnasium, and every student and every alumnus should 
pull together with this end in view. 

E. N. C, '09 




138 



Stars of "1908" 



Since her entrance into the Maryland Agricultural College the class of 1908 
has been foremost in her contributions to the athletic strength of the institution, 
and it is with no little feehng of pride that we submit the following records of her 

"stars" : 

"CURLY" BYRD 

At the close of his first year of college life "Curly" Byrd had made a most 
enviable reputation as an all-around "star," making end on the football 'varsity 
of '05, which team immortahzed itself by winning the championship of Maryland 
for the first time in thirteen years. In this position, and later as quarter back 
during the past two seasons, "Curly" has steadily improved, and is now, un- 
doubtedly, the snappiest and fastest player on our team ; his clever work on end 
runs having won many a touch-down for M. A. C. So great was his popularity 
among his fellow-players that, unanimously, they elected him for captain during 
his Senior year, and it was largely due to his strenuous efforts that we were en- 
abled to put up the good showing that we did. 

"Curly" is likewise a veteran of the "sphere," and it was undoubtedly in a 
large measure due to his superb pitching and team work that the baseball team 
of '07 was without question accorded the championship of Maryland. Indeed, 
we doubt whether his equal is to be found in the State, certainly not among the 
colleges of the Athletic League, and long will the memory of "Curly" and his 
black-ash "Maria" remain with M. A. C. 

Not satisfied with laurels in football and baseball alone, "Curly" has given 
up considerable time to track work, and of the relay team of 1908 he was one of 
the strongest members. With "Curly" starring as a pitcher once more, we pre- 
dict a most successful season in baseball this spring, and are confident that many 
years will elapse ere those who follow the amateur athletic sports of Maryland 
will see the like again of "Curly" Byrd, quarter back and pitcher for the M. A. C. 

"BARNEY" COOPER 

No one has any recollection of how or when "Barney" Cooper came to M. 
A. C, but there is a tradition that he was found among some football parapher- 



139 



nalia sometime way back yonder in 1885. Be that as it may, "Barney" is pre- 
eminently the "football man" of 1908 and M. A. C. Even as early as his Soph- 
omore year he was elected captain of the 'varsity, and led us on to most signal 
victories during the banner years of '05 and '06. As a half back, his defensive 
work and methods of tackling has been most remarkably successful, and when the 
cry came, "Hold 'em, Maryland, hold 'em!" Cooper was invariably there, holding 
his own. During the past three years he has been our most dependable and per- 
sistent ground-gainer as well. His modesty alone prevented his re-election as 
captain for his last year, when he turned the leadership over to Byrd. Never- 
theless, he continued to be a dominating figure in football, and his withdrawal 
from M. A. C. will be undoubtedly the severest loss that the team will suffer during 
the coming season of 1908. 

"URV LONG 

As Cooper is, in all probability, the strongest football "star," "Ury" Long 
holds all records as a trackman, captaining his team for the past two seasons 
and showing up in remarkable shape ever since his first year. He holds the record 
for the half mile and the fifty yard dash, the latter being run in 5 2-5 seconds. 
We also consider "Ury" largely responsible for the recent strenuous effort to in- 
augurate indoor track-work as an athletic feature of M. A. C, and, hampered 
as he has been by lack of financial aid and proper training facilities, his persistent 
efforts in that direction have been most commendable. 

"RAT" MACK ALL 

Another football man from the very heart is "Rat" Mackall, full back on 
the 'varsity for the past two seasons. Altho not a heavy man for his position, 
"Rat" made up for it by his swift, hard playing and shrewd tackles, making "stars" 
fly in every direction when in his fierce line plunges he tore up his opponent's 
line, helping, not a little, as well by his cheerful spirit and bold face against heavy 
odds. "Rat's" goal kicking was a strong feature of last season's games, as he 
rarely missed even the most difficult goals. We have been told that "Rat's" 
face had much to do with his keeping his position on the team, but we are assured 
from the victorious combats that he has lived thru that Calvert muscle and Mack- 
all wit have done their share in placing him among the stars of 1908. 

"BUCK" REEDER 

Quoting from the Washijigton Post of last season, we observ^e that "Reeder 
at second was the star player of the team," and he undoubtedly was and is the 



140 



most remarkable second baseman that M. A. C. has produced in many a year. 
He came here in 1905, already a veteran of the diamond, and has held down his 
responsible position with scarcely an error during his whole career. Indeed, 
his fast fielding and fast, sure throwing have more than once pulled us out of a bad 
hole and saved the day for M. A. C. 

"BOB" RUFFNER 

"Bob" Ruffner as 'varsity center is unquestionably pre-eminent among the 
"stars," not only of M. A. C, but all Maryland as well, and he has yet to meet 
among his opponents his equal in that position. During the past discouraging 
season especially, "Bob's" cheerful presence, both in practice and in the real scrim- 
mage, did much to keep alive the courage of our men when hope burned low; 
for when she loses him M. A. C. loses not only her best center, but a man as well 
who knew how to to take both defeat and victory sensibly; a man who sought 
always to keep his comrades in that optimistic frame of mind which counts as 
much for victory as sheer brain and muscle. 

"DICK" SILVESTER 

"Dick" has only recently shown up as a first-class player, winning his initial 
distinction as pitcher for M. A. C. in the Catholic University game of the past 
season, when he held them down to the score of 7 to i. "Dick" is a player of 
great promise and we have every right to expect that as substitute pitcher he 
will render invaluable aid to the team and "Curly," especially in "nailing" the 
pennant for the coming season. 

"ROGER" WILSON 

Wilson came to us in the fall of 1905 with an excellent athletic record, and has 
played ever since as end on the 'varsity, showing especial excellence in getting 
down under punts and rushing the backs on tackle bucks. We must also mention 
that he has been our only representative on the basket-ball team, and a valuable 
factor in this much-neglected sport at M. A. C. 

T 

"KUNST MACHT GUNST" 



141 



Songs and Yells 



Yell for the team, the team, the team, 

M. A. C, dear M. A. C. 
Let horns resound and banners stream, 

M. A. C, dear M. A. C. 

, we'll win from you, 

That is what we're going to do. 
Do it well and quickly, too, 

M. A. C, dear M. A. C. 

The team, the team, they've scored again, 

Victory, sweet victory; 
'Tis all the same in sun or rain, 

Victory, sweet victory. 
Our banners ever float on high, 

From we hear a sigh. 

Then with us the people cry; 

M. A. C, dear M. A. C. 

Tune, "Maryland, My Maryland. 



, what makes you play so badly, 

Why don't you try to score? 
, your team is rattled sadly, 



And we are out for gore. 
Don't blame us if we ever flout you. 
You know we couldn't play without you, 

, your team is rattled, rattled, rattled. 

Tune, "Tessie. 



We are, we are, we are, we are the M. A. C. 

We are, we are, we are, we are the M, A. C. 
And when we get to heaven, we'll give the good old yell; 
And those who' re not so fortunate will give it down in — 
Cheer up, boys, there ain't no h — 1! 



142 



Are we all dead yet? Are ye all dead yet? 
No, by golly, there's eleven left yet ! 
Come, and get your quinine ! 



M. A. C, M. A. C, 
It's plain as plain can be, 

We've got up a tree. 

M. A. C, M. A. C, 
Beat 'em! Beat 'em! Beat 'em! Beat 'em! 
M. A. C. 



Tune, "Tammany.' 



Hal la ba loo! Hoorah! Hoorah! 
Halla ba loo! Hoorah! Hoorah! 
Hoorah ! Hoorah ! 
M. A. C. A. A. 



Chee hing! Chee hing! 

Chee-Ha-Ha-Ha. 
Maryland Agricultural College; 

Sis! Boom! Bah! 

Holy gee! 

Who are we? 
team of the M. A. C. 



Skin-a-ma-rink, 
Skin-a-ma-rink, 
La^da-da! How-da dah! Flehmey! 
Flippity flop, we're on top! 
Sis! Boom! Bah! 



Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! 
Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! 
Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! 
Sis-s-s! Boom! 
Heigho! 
M-A-R-Y-L-A-N-D ! 



143 



(With increasing cadence.) 

M-M-M-M ! 
A-A-A-A! 
R-R-R-R! 
Y-Y-Y-Y! 
L-L-L-L! 
A-A-A-A! 
N-N-N-N ! 
D-D-D-D! 
M-A-R-Y-L-A-N-D ! 



Chee hing! Chee hing! 
Chee-Ha-Ha-Ha. 
Maryland Agricultural College 
Rah! Rah! Rah! 



Chick-a-chick-a-boom ! 

Chick-a-chick-a-boom ! 
Chick-a-chick-a-chick-a-chick-a- 

Boom! Boom! Boom! 

Rah! Rah! Rah! 

Rah! Rah! Rah! 
Maryland Agricultural College, 

Sis! Boom! Bah! 
Holy, gee! 
Who are we? 
ball team of the M. A. C. ! 




144 



Young Men's Christian Association 

Officers for 1907-08 

President R. Brigham 

Vice-President W. C. ReedER 

Secretary J. P. L. ShambergER 

Treasurer N. L. Warren 

Chairman Bible Study Committee 
R. Brigham 

* * * 
Officers for 1908-09 

President Wm. M. Aikenhead 

Vice-President M. KoENiG 

Secretary F- J- MaxwElIv 

Treasurer D. W. Glass 

Chairman Bible Study Committee 

H. S. COBEY 



145 



Our Y. M. C. A. 



The association here is a distinct organization, and since its founding, in 1900, 
has made steady progress in influence and numbers. During its existence there 
has been considerable interest taken in its meetings and other work in its behalf, 
tho there has been no assistance to activities outside of its own direct sphere of 
influence. 

The activities for this year were opened by a reception on September 27th, 
to which the whole school was invited. The members of the faculty attended 
with their wives, and the new men were given an excellent opportunity to become 
acquainted with them. The occasion was a pronounced success and the associa- 
tion fully intended to have two more such events. Owing, however, to the lack 
of necessary finances, they did not materialize. 

Another great event during the early part of the year was the International 
Y. M. C. A. Convention in Washington, and M. A. C. students and delegates 
who attended had an excellent opportunity for hearing such prominent speakers 
as Wm. Jennings Bryan, Robt. E. Speer and the Hon. J. A. MacDonald of Toronto. 
Mr. MacDonald's speech was most inspiring, in that he applied the slogan of the 
Highlanders, "Shoulders Together," to association work. No matter if there 
be but one of us, let him stand face to face with his foe, "Shoulders Together!" 
And from his wonderful words, as well as those of Bryan and Speer, we of the con- 
vention caught an inspiration, and coming back set our faces forward and onward, 
resolved to stand "Shoulders Together." 

Unfortunatelv, however, after the beginning of the second term, the bible 
classes were allowed to lag. It then required considerable effort to recover the 
lost interest aroused by the convention. Then, in the latter part of March, the 
Tri-State Convention was held at Frederick, whither the new president and vice- 
president were sent as delegates. Manv well-known workers were present, and 
their reports, together with the interest in general manifested by the delegates, 
were verv encouraging. Our representatives returned with many new ideas, which 
they hope to put into practice for the rest of the year, and with a warm place as 
well in their hearts for the good people of Frederick, who are justly noted for 
their unstinted hospitality. The main thought of the convention centered about 



146 



the sentiment that, no matter what the membership of the association might be, 
no matter what the order of services, if the leaders are not thoroly filled with the 
spirit of Christ then their work is doomed to failure. A new move was made at 
this time also which it is believed will prove of great value, the new ofQcers being 
given charge of the work while the retiring cabinet will act in the capacity of 
an advisory organization. Consequently, the spring term will be largely given 
up to preparation for next year's work. 

It is undoubtedly true that the association work is not given as much thought 
and attention by our college students as it should have. Its importance is either 
not recognized or the men labor under the false impression that being a work of 
God He will take care of it. In acting upon such suppositions they fail of securing 
any appreciable benefit ; for, altho the athletics are almost indispensable to col- 
lege life, and have gained for the college many honors, they have permanently 
injured many of the participants and have taken a large amount of time from classes 
with comparatively small benefit in the end to each person concerned. 

Then the dancing club and the literary societies, tho they tend to broaden 
a man socially, fail to give anything more than a polish on his worldly surface. 

But the Y. M. C. A., working for the spiritual good of the man, afi"ects all the 
activities of life, since in becoming a Christian the college man makes it his motto 
to do with all his might and all his soul whatever his hands or his brain find to 
accomplish. At his studies he works to the best of his ability; when on the 
athletic field he is doing his level best ; and in whatever position among the various 
societies he may be placed, he is engaged in making a sincere and earnest effort 
to attain the highest that is in him. 

During the past year many men have come here who have impressed these 
truths upon us, and what can a strong man not do when he puts on the whole 
armor of God, his face set forward, and standing "Shoulders Together" for Christ? 

Wm. M. Aikenhead, 

President for 1908-09 



147 



Officers of the Rossbourg Club 



Chas. W. Sylvester 
President 

T. B. Mackall 

Vice-President 

U. W. Long 
Secretary 

W. A. S. SOMERVILLE 
Treasurer 

CHAIRMAN OF COMMITTEES 

Invitation and Program 
S. M. LOWREY 

*** 

Reception 

B. R. Cooper 

*** 

Refreshment 
W. C. Reeder 

*** 

Floor 
L. B. Broughton 



148 



^^S-^^J^^i&li^J^gA^ffi^y^AK^r:^ 




^<N^^i.^^ia5fe^Bt>AV.^va>J^J^^W^^^ 



The Spirit of the Dance 



"She comes — the spirit of the dance! 

And but for those large, eloquent eyes, 
Where passion speaks in every glance. 

She'd seem a wonder from the skies." 

— Osgood. 

If all the riches of India, if all the beauty of the ancient Greeks, if all the crowns 

of the kingdoms of the world were laid at my feet in exchange for my love of this 

"Spirit of the Dance," I would spurn them all. For when "she comes," with bared 

neck and pearl v arms, with tresses of soft, fleecy silks, with her little feet so neatly 

clad and silvery shod, there sparkle from those "large, eloquent eyes," riches un- 

equaled by the dusky Indies. When she glides across the polished- floor, as the 

music swells in melodious refrain, her every gesture, her every motion make us 

forget the once stately beauties of the idealistic Hellenes. And when in some 

secluded corner, where dimly steal soft rays of light, we sit beside her in blissful 

communion and listen to the rise and fall of her low, sweet voice we forget the 

wrestling world, its engrossing ambitions, its selfish possessions, its endless strife; 

forgotten, too, are its crowns of gold, its wreaths of myrtle, its palms of victory; 

forgotten all in this "Being Inexpressible," this "Wonder from the Skies," the 

Spirit of the Dance! 

Endymion, '08 



150 



Our Dances 



Groups of men who have never felt the influence of virtuous women and inno- 
cent pleasures are mostly of the lowest type. Indeed, too much credit cannot 
be given to the weaker sex in the advancement of our standards of life. And es- 
pecially at M. A. C, where the student body as an entity is almost entirely depen- 
dent upon college dances for their association with the "fair," this influence can- 
not be overestimated. Of course, there are among us a few unfortunates who 
seem able to exist — at least by their own profession — without the slightest social 
communication with any other than a few of their classmates and, occasionally, 
the wise seers, their instructors. These strangely-constituted individuals will 
tell you that such things as college dances have no place in life ; that they impede 
the rapid "absorption" of knowledge, and we hear them mutter, "ballroom 
butterflies," "unnatural nature," "cute nothings," "Chases and F St.," and then 
they subside and recommence absorbing. But are character building and moral 
upliftment more than mere solemn science? Will not the social intercourse 
experienced at college enable the men going out from such institutions to take 
their place in the world better fitted for conditions as they really exist? The di- 
dactic, bookish and unsociable man is an anomaly in the enlightened twentieth 
century; he is not wanted anywhere! 

But to return to M. A. C. and its dances. Occurring as they do at irregular 
intervals thruout the year, they are an attractive and pleasurable diversion to 
all who attend them. Of these the May ball of 1907 was the first dance ever given 
under the auspices of the notable class of '08 and, following as it did a great athletic 
victory, we were "in " to make it a success. For weeks before the eventful evening 
the Junior class meeting was a regular part of each day's program, and surely 
that farsighted body of youthful entertainers forgot nothing in the prolonged 
discussions that ensued. 

At last the ball is at hand ! The hall is in a state of inviting reccptiveness, 
even to the extent of having erected upon the all-suffering stage, amid the graceful 
green of palm and conifer, a fragrant bower woven of the white, delicate sprays 
of the dogwood and — must we confess it — "chicken wire!" For of such things, 
after all, are dreams and "cute things" made. About half after seven the "girls 



151 



of '08" begin to arrive and they continue "arriving," completely filling up the 
ballroom and overflowing into the "Hall of Fame" without. Yes, even into 
and amid the sacred upholstery of the trustees' room. Then to the melting mu- 
sic we set our feet in exhilarant motion and are off in the merry whirl. On and on, 
around and around we glide, all forgetful of aught but the passing pleasure, lost 
in the bewitching glances of those who are rightly called the "best gifts to man." 
Truly, in them lies a greater power, a more potent force than crusty Science has 
discovered in electricity; "for electricity merely moves machinery, bridges illimit- 
able space and cures sciatica, but the power in woman's eyes makes this merry 
old world go round. It overturns empires, mocks monarchs, bedevils diplomacy, 
and otherwise snarls things up thru sheer lightness of heart." For the man who 
can resist the mute appeal of soft and loving eyes, whether they be blue, or black, 
or brown, and the caressing touch of round, soft arms, and the delicious quivering 
of rosebud lips, is not a man at all ; he is a — but I forget — I am thinking of a cozy 
corner and a moonlight dance where the "moon" failed to show, and then we did 
not see the eyes — it was the rest. Alas! all too soon the last notes of "Home, 
Sweet Home" flee on the oscillating ether and with it our few brief hours of plea- 
sure. 

Another dance, perhaps nearer the hearts of many, altho not considered by 
the members of '08 as equalling their initial "hop," was the leap year "Ball of 
Hearts," given to the Juniors and Seniors by the President and his admirable wife. 
Of course, none other than a woman — a true daughter of Maryland — could have 
so intuitively appreciated the needs of cadets who are nearing the threshold of 
life. Hearts were surely "Trumps" that "dream of a night." For hearts of 
tinsel hung gracefully about us on every side, and hearts of softer texture, long 
hidden, came to light ready for the asking if only it were the right person and in 
the right way, for assuredly it was the "right time" and our boys are always 
"willin'." So the dance and the dancers went on as "merry as a wedding bell," 
and when the time came for the "parting kiss and the long-drawn sigh," many 
were the hearts borne away by our fair visitors while a few — of pasteboard — re- 
mained. And so, when those interested in the afi'airs of M. A. C, and desirous 
of making it an institution that will send into the world men inspired by high 
standards of character and conduct, seek the means to these ends they must not 
forget the tremendous influence that has been and will continue to be exerted 
by the far-famed M. A. C. dances and the M. A. C. girl. 

Excelsior, '08 



152 



A Mosaic of Stolen Gems 



The Hellenic Aristotle, with his interminable philosophy, has given us the 
everlasting as well as oft-repeated saying, "Man is a social being," which well 
expresses the law upon which we base the national relationship of mankind. From 
long before the time of this deep-thinking Greek down thru all ages to the present 
day, and, if we may prophesy, on until the millennium dawns, the science of society 
has claimed and will continue to claim the attention of the thoughtful and edu- 
cated. 

Sociology is so deep an abyss that its bottom has never been sounded ; so 
broad a domain that its borders have never been reached, and so old a science 
that its beginning lies hidden in the misty realms of prehistoric epochs. It would 
seem to a casual observer that such an ancient subject, which has alwavs had an 
army of faithful followers, would be without a neglected or forgotten topic, but to 
one perusing the numerous writings from Aristotle to Wilson or Bryce there would 
be revealed a startling fact. That fact would be that the majority of these staunch 
philosophers neglected often, crowded into minor space frequently, or mostly 
forgot entirely the best, and that best was Woman. They ate the bitter and 
left the sweet; they pondered long and wearily over the cold, cruel, worldly prob- 
lems, while above, waiting, longing and praying, was the shining angel light of 

"A perfect woman nobly planned 
To warn, to comfort and command." 

To climb into the category occupied by our many social philosophers would, 
indeed, be a worthy task, but I feel that what I know about society has not been 
gleaned from poring over old volumes covered with accumulated dust, or bv study- 
ing the economics, the civics, and the religions of all peoples; but that knowledge 
which I have has been obtained in a manner as the poet sang : 



153 



"From woman's eyes this doctrine I derive, 
They sparkle still the night Pomethean fire; 
They are the books, the art, the academes 
That show, contain, and vanquish all the world." 

And that woman is a Maryland Girl ; she is more to us than the lost Lenore was 
to the awe-inspiring Poe; more than Beatrice, the Lake of Light, was to the 
romantic, southern-blooded Dante; more than Margaret, the "Crown Jewel," 
was to the cold-hearted Goethe; and more than the beautiful Madonna was to 
the ancient worshiping hermit. 

Whether she be a Saxon blonde, with deep, blue eyes, whose glances return 
love for love, whose silken tresses rest upon her shoulders like a wealth of golden 
fleece, each thread of which looks like a ray of the morning sunbeams, or whether 
she be a Latin brunette, with deep, black eyes, whose jetty lashes rest like silken 
fringe upon the pearly texture of her cheeks, looking like raven wings spread out 
upon new fallen snow, we love her dearly, and dearingly loving her call her our 
Maryland Girl. 

Great did the Greeks think their goddesses. The beautiful Helen of myth- 
ological fame, whose eyes sparkled with the internal fire that never dies, caused 
men to die in battling for her hand. She conquered Troy, plunged all the nations 
of antiquity into war, and gave that earliest and, as it is still, grandest epic, which 
has come down thru all time. But let our Helen turn her soul-inspiring eyes 
upon us and our hearts throb and our blood thrills as if stirred with a draught 
of Heaven's sparkling wine. Let the Maryland Helen but turn to another suitor 
and our hearts become splintered as if struck by Jove's thunderbolt which hurled 
the unfortunate Phaeton from Phoebus' chariot. 

Orpheus plaved tipon his lyre to such perfection that he not only charmed 
his fellow-creatures, but wild beasts were softened by his lay and the very trees 
and rocks were sensible to the charm. So great was his skill that when he struck 
his tensile chords before the gates of Hades the chariots of the gods stood still. 
Tantalus forgot the infernal torment of his insatiable thirst ; the vultures ceased 
to tear the constantly reproduced vitals of Tityus ; the palace gates swung upon 
their golden hinges, and Pluto, melted into sympathy with the bereft soul that 
sobbed out the story of its lonely sorrow on the harp strings, gave him back the 
fair Eurvdice. 



154 



Since the fragments of Orpheus' body were borne away by the river Hebrus, 
down which they floated, murmuring sad music, and to which the shores responded 
a plaintive symphony, the world has never heard music its equal until the song 
of the Maryland girl struck for its keynote the heavenly harps of gold. Then 
Vulcan came to the door of his smoky forge to listen; then Apollo threw away 
his lyre as useless and knelt before the goddess of perfect music, and Jupiter 
bade the Cupid send his quivering arrow into the breast of her choice. 

If there be anyone who fails to respond to the call of the Maryland girls, we 
ask for him this fate, that the Gods of the Greeks, of the Egyptians, of the North- 
men, of all lands and of all climes will condemn him to wander on and on in eternal 
lonesomeness. So one and all listen to one whose doctrine has been derived from 
woman's eyes: "Win her and wear her if you can. She is the most dehghtful of 
God's creatures; Heaven's best gift; man's joy and pride in prosperity; man's 
support and comfort in affliction." 

Excelsior, '08 




155 



June Ball Organization 



Business Manager W. A. S. SommervillE 

Asst. Business Manager N. I.. Warren, Jr. 

Secretary U. W. Long 

Treasurer G.C.Day 

CHAIRMEN OF COMMITTEES 

Invitation and Program 

S. M. LOWREY 

*** 

Reception 

B. R. Cooper 

*** 

Floor 

C. W. Sylvester 

*** 

Refreshments 
C. A. WarthEn 



156 



The Orchard Inspectors 



"Hey Bill, whar you all from?" 

"Garett Co." 

"Garrett Co?" 

"Yep." 

"Do youse people have any scale up thar?" 

"Not as I knows of!" 
Enter "Sy." 

"Well, gentlemen, glad to see you. How are you? What's your name? 
Mr. Scroggles? Yes. And yours, Mr. Jones? Yes. And yours, Mr. what you 
may call»'em? Yes. Well, gentlemen, make yourselves comfortable, but excuse 
me, I am very, very busy." 
Exit "Sy." 

We hear queer things and queer people sometimes. The above is a sample 
of the edifying conversation overheard between some orchard inspectors on their 
arrival at college as well as their formal reception by "Sy." It has become an 
annual custom with "Sy" to bring this plague upon us, and as sure as the months 
roll by he goes around the State, picks up an old individual here and there, and 
tells him to come to college, to prepare himself for certain laborious duties which 
he, as inspector, is "destined" to perform. About the first of February the influx 
begins. Twenty-five to thirty of our rural friends, all jabbering in a mixture of 
broken English, German and "heathen Chinee," seat themselves in the Bug 
Laboratory and await the instruction of the mighty "Sy" and his "allies." 

The "Grasshoppers" soon become accustomed to the place. They grow 
bold. They become slightly more energetic, and finally one of them caps the cli- 
max by writing such an empirical effusion as is given below : 

A tried and trusty tree man 

To a nearby College came, 
Weary and worn, and peevish 

He was once a man of fame. 



157 



His eyes were deeply sunken, 

His face was ghastly pale, 
And all the while he muttered 

"I've got the San Jose scale." 

"What can I do?" he said to "Sy" 
In a piped and wheezy tone, 

"I want a caustic treatment 

To the very skin and bone." 

Says "Sy," "Soda with lime sulphur 

Has yet for me to fail!" 
' ' Then give to me the treatment, 

I've got the San Jose scale." 

"I've ruined many, many trees 

From Tennessee to Maine ; 
On New York's rocky hillsides 

And Jersey's sandy plain." 

' ' Wherever I have travelled. 

By boat, by foot or rail, 
I'm shunned as tho a leper; 

I've got the San Jose scale." 

"I've used the whale-oil treatment, 
And the emulsion without lime; 

Crude oil with caustic potash 

I've tried from time to time." 

"But the pernicious little pest 
Has seen them each one fail; 

So now I w-ant the limit, 

I've got the San Jose scale." 

— Enzyme, '08 



158 



Scene The Alley 

Enter RECKLESS Randolph 

Randolph — Truly, my sense of responsibility doth not urge me to bear 
with this Bluebeard, my professor. The fiend is at my elbow and tempts me, 
saying, "Randolph, Reckless Randolph, sweet Reckless, sweet Randolph, or 
rather sweet Reckless Randolph, use your legs, take a start, skip, vamoose!" 
"But," cautions my sense of responsibility, "take heed, conscientious Randolph, 
or, as aforesaid, conscientious Reckless Randolph, do not skip; scorn skipping with 
thy heels." Well, the most outrageous fiend bids me pack. "Haul," says the 
fiend; "Heraus," says the fiend; "For Cab's sake, scare up a brave heart," says 
the fiend, "and skip." Well, my sense of responsibility, hanging by the tail of 
my shirt, admonishes me severely, saying, "My sweet friend Randolph, being an 
honest student," or rather an "honor" student, for truly my honesty doth smack 
somewhat of dishonor to the Bluebeard, my professor; well, my sense of respon- 
sibility saith, "Randolph, skip not." "Skip," says the fiend. "Skip not," 
urgeth my sense of responsibility. "Responsibility," say I, "thou counselest 
well." "Fiend," say I, "thou counselest well." To be guided by my sense of 
responsibility, I should verily stay with the Bluebeard, my professor, who (Cab 
bless the mark) is a kind of devil, indeed; and to skip away from this Bluebeard, 
I shall be guided by the fiend, who, saving your reverence, is the Devil himself. 
Truly, this Bluebeard, my professor, is the very Devil incarnation, and mv sense 
of responsibility is but a hard kind of sense, that should urge me to stay with the 
Bluebeard, my professor. The fiend urgeth upon me the more friendly counsel — 
"I will skip, fiend, my heels are at your commandment, I will skip." 
(Exit Randolph to the Mountains.) 

(We venture no apologies to Wm. Shakespeare; we only hope we shall never 
meet him in the other world. Ed.) 



159 



Ode to Organic 



In my Junior year at college, 
When I labored, hard and late, 
There was added to my burdens 
Something said to be just great. 

Maybe you would like to find out 
What I had to comprehend. 
It is called Organic Chemistry 
Something warm right to the end. 

I remember quite distinctly 
What we all were told to do. 
Everything had CARBON in it 
Or at least the "Prof" said so. 

Then we bought a little note-book. 
"One at first," he said, "will do." 
But ye gods and little fishes! 
When you buy get forty-two! 

Only short names were remembered. 
Such as trichloraldehyde, 
Analine with all his amides 
Pulling faithfully at his side. 

Then there was a boy named Fettig 
(From across the sea, I know) 
Borrowed Old Man Wurtz' Reaction, 
To make BENZENE down below! 



1 60 



Hope it likes it way down yonder 
Making Rings with great Side Chains. 
While at M. A. C, I wonder 
What they'll do with my remains! 

Wearied of these benzene ringlets, 
Will I never more be free? 
Oh! Professor of MORGANIC 
Give me more than "Twenty Three!" 

— Extra, 




i6r 



The Mushroom, The Rat and The Broomstick 



The old Broomstick stood leaning against the wall on the back porch. 
She was quite worn out with long use. Her straws were soiled and stubbed. 
She felt quite tired of the world. Her whole humdrum life had been spent in 
sweeping — sweeping from morning to night, and she was very, very tired of it all. 
Once she was good enough for a place in the kitchen, and in those days she used 
to be quite a Beauty. All day long the Tea Kettle and the Sad Irons would make 
love to her. But now she was used to clean off dirty shoes, and she was 
nothing but an old Broomstick — ugly, worn out, dirty and neglected. Poor old 
Broomstick! Her life was, indeed, a sad one. 

Year after year she stood there on the porch staring at the dusty cellar win- 
dow across the way, and before she became so old and ragged she used to dream 
and wonder what could be hidden there. One day there was a great bustle and 
stir. All the old rubbish was taken out and carted away, and the dusty window 
was opened and cleaned. Men built long shelves and filled them with dirt. They 
were trying to grow mushrooms, but, of course, a poor, ignorant Broomstick would 
hardly know that. vSo she watched the mushroom bed thru the window and won- 
dered what would become of it. Day after day she patiently waited. "Surely," 
she thought, "something will come of it." And imagine, if you can, her surprise 
and joy when one morning she saw a little bald-head sticking up thru the black 
earth, and as she watched the mushroom grow, she became quite sentimental. 
He was so round and fresh and young; so unlike anything else she had ever- seen 
before. Quite pleasantly for a cross old Broomstick, she smiled across to him, and 
he, poor conceited thing, stared stupidly back, for he did not know any better. 
But one day he nodded and smiled to her and she was very happy. Silly old 
Broomstick ! she had fallen in love. So many happy days passed by. The Broom- 
stick was growing young again. Her scars had faded away; her straws became 
much brighter and lost their dust and smoke. "Why," said the Maid, "the old 
Broomstick is well enough after all." But the Maid did not know that the poor 
thing was in love. How could she? 

Every morning the silly Broomstick smiled down on the Mushroom's bald 
head. Every morning he would nod back at her and they were very, very happy 
together. It was all so strange and wonderful to the Mushroom — this new 



162 



world. Everything, even the ugly Pavement seemed quite charming, quite 
beautiful, and the old Broomstick herself he thought the most beautiful and 
charming of all. On moonlight nights, when good people were asleep, he would 
jump out of his bed and cross the pavement to where the foolish Broomstick 
was waiting for him. Side by side they would walk together up and down the 
hard pavement, quite lost in each other, and with her straws she would tickle 
his bald head very lovingly. Surely, if the Broomstick had not been there, he 
would have been very lonely, for no more mushrooms came up in the bed beside 
him. 

But there lived in the same cellar with the lonely Mushroom an envious old 
Rat who did not believe in love and hated lovers, and he determined to nip the 
foolish affair in the bud. "Silly creatures," said he, "fallen in love. Faugh! 
I'll show them!" Very closely he watched the foolish pair. One day a letter 
came to the Mushroom. "Dear Mr. Mushroom," it read, "please call for me 
at twelve. Don't fail me." Ah! thought the hateful Rat, "I have them now!" 
The night was very dark, but the. faithful Mushroom started out bravely to where 
the sentimental Broomstick was waiting for him. But, alas, he never got there, 
and all night long the poor anxious Broomstick sat up watching for him. 

In the morning she looked toward the window and there on the pavement 
lay the faithful Mushroom. The wicked Rat had bitten him in two and, poor 
fellow, he was quite dead. This sad sight broke the Broomstick's poor wooden 
heart, and had you been there you could even have heard it crack. She became 
all at once very old again and felt sadder and more weary of life than ever. Poor 
disappointed creature ! 

The Maid came out presently and she was very cross. She had lost her lover, 
too. "You hateful thing," she cried, and threw the poor cracked Broomstick 
out on the pavement ; and there they lay together — the poor, old, sentimental 
Broomstick and her faithful Mushroom. Poor, poor, deluded Pair! 

The Shadow, '08 



163 



The Woman in the Case 



A FARCE 



Scene — Hotel Hamilton, Hagerstown Time — Night of Oct. i6th 

Scene I. Room 68. Midnight. 

Enter tv/o Cow Punchers who have been "doing" the town. 
(The door is locked ; both knock.) 
In Chorus: Open up, Bob, open up in there! It's us! 
Shrill Female Voice (from within) : Who's at that door? 

(A quaking silence follows.) 
Female Voice (still louder) : Oh, Ma! Who's at that door? 
(No answer) 

Female Voice (screaming): OH, MA! WHO'S AT THA 

First Cow Puncher : My Lord ! Reddy, there's a woman in there ! 
Second Cow Puncher: Let's go. 

(Exit Cow Punchers with hair on end.) 
(Subdued chuckles and hysterics within.) 

Scene 2. The Same. Two Hours Later 

Enter A Porter. 
(Knocks on the door.) 
Shrill Female Voice (This time on the verge of hysteria): OH, MA! OH, 

MA! THAT MAN I 

Porter: Oh, Gawd!— WOW! 

(Exit running.) 
(An interval of fifteen mimdes) 
Enter Cow Punchers, attended by Hotel Proprietor, Three Clerks, and A 
Chambermaid; to be met by a benign and innocent Shadow in pajamas, some 
fifteen feet tall. 

Shadow: Why, here's Reddy and Turner at last, fellows! Where have 
you been ! Did you see Amy ? 

In Chorus : STUNG ! (Exit attendants shamefacedly) 

Bob (from within): Oh, come on you fellows! Quit your foolin'. Get to 
bed ! Go to sleep ! I'm so dogone tired ! 

(Door closes; more chuckling; more hysterics, squealing, and sounds 
of a general roughhouse within.) 

(Who really was at the door? W^as it Amy? Ask Bob, he knows !) 

The Shadow, '08 



164 



The Merry Adventures of Rat 



In our Merry College in times not far away when good King Cab ruled the 
Park and the Walks thereof, there dwelt within the flimsy walls of our ancient 
Institution a famous outlaw whose name was Rat. He was a comely youth, of 
raven locks and goodly build, in whose black eyes lurked that merry devil which 
fair lassies fain must love. Now, being a lad of many parts and strong of tongue, 
he sought service with the high sheriff and pleased him much. There came, 
however, in the tenth year of Johnnie, Master Steward to the King, a fulsome wight, 
who, by the grace of Cab, would be high sheriff to our Merry College. The same 
men called the Sheriff Ferdinand, who was given to much bumness of ye wrist 
and ankle. This Ferdinand, being one day in pursuit of certain outlaws who 
created much disorder, came suddenly upon stout Rat within the flimsy walls, 
and did berate him most unkindly. Then did stout Rat turn upon him and curse 
him in his turn ; so, therefore, fled he deep within the flimsy walls — outlaw to the 
good King Cab. 

Thus he lay hidden in our Merry College for many months, and in that time 
gathered a goodly band of merry lads about him, of whom he was chief. These, 
like himself, were right mad blades driven forth by ye Sheriff Ferdinand, and far 
and wide were they known thru all the broad Park, even to Riverdale Town, 
where many fair lassies dwell. Chief est among these lusty lads was Rat's right- 
hand man, merry Jack Nimblefoot, a rare youth and fair, and beside him were 
Friar Tuck, of goodly fame, and Little Claude, of Rat's own country, and Harry 
Hotspur, to save whose neck the jolly band came nigh unto leaving our Merry 
College forever, and many others more who, for some cause or other, were become 
outlaws to the good King Cab. Right boisterously, within ye flimsy walls lived 
stout Rat and his lusty lads, sleeping much, studying little, and feasting nightly 
upon ye sweet caramels and chicken. Thus blithely lived this jolly band within 
our Merry College. 

Rat Raideth Ye Pantry 

Now, with the coming of spring, the cravings of the Inner Man fell strong upon 
the merry band, and they held council upon ye Buzzard's Roost to raid the Pantry 
of ye Master Steward Johnnie. Right joyfully did they make ready, and at the 



165 



hour of midnight, according to ye tryst, they gathered together at the foot of ye 
Ancient Terrace, clothed in ye shirts and sweaters, and each man bearing in his 
arms a lusty pillow of ye wild goose feathers with which to batter down ye Pan- 
try door. By the dim flare of gas light did they gather and set forth behind ye 
Merry Rat to the dark basement in which the Pantry lay. Then, all together they 
rushed upon ye door, broke in the strong lock and walked unchallenged in. 
Long and heartily did they feast upon ye royal bread and strap, ye tender hams 
and cheese, even until they did surfeit and lack ease ; and so goodly was the 
spread that they did quite forget the nearness of the Master Steward. 

But this Johnnie was a weak and craven soul, and fearing always the raids of 
ye merry men, slept lightly. He awoke, and hearing strange voices in ye Pantry 
did tremble for his goodly stores. Therefore, in his night rail set he forth to seek 
out the constables who dwelt about our Merry College. These worthy wights being 
aroused did hide themselves right circumspectly about ye Pantry door that they 
might waylay ye jolly raiders. Among these was one, Little Nux, a most doughty 
wight, small in stature yet mighty in valor, who, being a brave and sturdy yeoman, 
sought to enter ye Pantry by force. "Open up," commanded he sternly, "Open 
up!" Thereupon was all about him most quiet, and ye jolly raiders did quake 
with fear. But taking courage, stout Rat did mock and jeer ye little Nux most 
roundly, who, being much like a little pot that soon boileth over, did wax right 
wroth and accosted ye merry lads most angrily. 

"By ye Grace of King Cab and ye Lord Commie, Open Up!" shouteth 
he, "Open Up, say I!" Then answered ye jolly lads right blithely: "Nay, Lord 
Boohoo, forbid, indeed! vSlide under, ye Little Nux! Ye Little Pot, slide under!" 

Then did Little Nux become right hot, and, being a man of ready mind, did 
bring a chair to ye Pantry door that he might enter by ye transom. Thus mounted, 
he thrust his head where within ye merry lads were hidden, but could not enter 
for, those behind ye door. On a sudden there came to him a Bright Idea, and 
he cried, "Water! water!," at which stout Rat, grown still more bold, did mock 
him the more. 

"Water! water! indeed!" cried he, "Make it wet, ye Little Pot!" 

And verily he did make it wet ; for with ye lust of revenge in his heart did 
Nux take ye pail of water from ye Constable Jesse and did douse ye jolly defenders 
wholly. Then did these lusty lads in their turn wax wroth and Merry Jack Nini- 
blefoot, whirling ye broomstick in his hands until it whistled thru the air, did swat 
ye Little Nux most shrewdly upon the head so that he fell to ye floor, stunned by 
ye mighty blow. 



i66 



Now did the merry nien rush forth upon the constables and ye Little Niix, 
seeing first ye nimble Jack, did scramble to his feet and straight pursue him. 
Up ye shaking stairs ; up ye President's Hall ; up across ye Bridge did speed in 
haste ye nimble Jack and he that pursued. So fast fled they that one meddle- 
some fellow seeking to stop Jack halted ye Little Nux instead, and did cause him 
much vexation. But just now did merry Jack stumble sadly upon ye stairs 
which lead from ye Bridge and Little Nux gained much upon him. Thus up and 
down they went ; up ye stairs and down ye stairs, until brave Jack was fairly 
winded, while still close behind hung ye Little Nux. So turning a corner of ye 
flimsy walls. Jack fled swift within the nearest room, and thither, too, followed 
Nux. High and low sought ye Little Nux, within ye room and without, but still 
no Jack was there to find. Still more diligently he searched, and at last under 
ye bed, twisted in ye heap, found he the merry Jack and did haul him straight 
before the good King Cab. 

Meanwhile, stout Rat and his Merry Men fled afar without ye flimsy walls 
even thru all ye Park and did hide themselves most speedily within ye cellars and 
ye haystacks that abound therein. And upon ye break of day returned they to 
ye Buzzards' Roost, resolved no more to raid ye Pantry; and as for stout Jack 
Nimblefoot, he lay for many days close prisoner within ye shady College Grove. 

Rat Meeteth Ye Fair Maid 

Now, some months after the taking of stout Jack certain friends of Rat be- 
spake his pardon, and he came once more into high favor with ye good King Cab 
and his Lord Commie. So late in this same year, according to his wont, he set 
forth upon ye road to Baltimore Town, where men now held a merry fair. And 
after some days spent in feasting upon ye sights and victuals which the good town 
provideth, he turned him homeward toward ye Park. And going thither, he did 
fall in with most goodly company, even a fair Lassie, as sweet as any in all the broad 
countryside. He did wink at her until she blushed, and she seeming nothing loath, 
he rode beside her, made love to her, and raised much merry cain. vSo far went 
he, indeed, that he stood boldly up among the goodly band that traveled with 
them and cried aloud, "Now, by the love which I bear the good King Cab, I fain 
would wed this Maid! Who is there that will join us twain?" "Verily, that will 
I!" answereth one preacher unknown to ye astonished Rat; yet he being ever 
of ready wit, reassureth ye trembling Maid and answereth in his turn right sadly, 
"Now, in good sooth, I fain would be married, most reverend sir; but, bv mine 
vow, it may be only by One Bald-Headed, and such a preacher, alas, thou art 
not!" Then sat ye preacher down amid the laughter of ye merry company. Ye 



167 



Maid did giggle and did make more wondrous eyes at ye nervy Rat, and thus fared 
they joyfully on toward ye Park. There bold Rat did leave ye fair Maid, and she 
being much taken by his good looks, sorrowed greatly at parting, for men of such 
winning and ready manners found she not oft within ye Riverdale Town. 

Rat Layeth Low Ye Chickens 

And being once more in the service of the good King Cab, Rat longed for the 
old life of joy and freedom and of roving within the flimsy walls. So one blithe 
afternoon he set forth, with stout Jack Nimblefoot at his side, and in great content 
they rambled along, dreaming of ye merry days gone by. And they came upon 
a stone pile from which as of yore they filled their hands and pockets. "Per- 
chance," saith bold Rat, "we shall see aught!" And sure enough there came to 
their ears a most welcome sound, ye cackle of a Hen, and straight across their 
path stalked ye forbidden game, ye fat Chickens of ye good King Cab. Most 
longingly did Rat look upon ye plump pullet, when, biff! she lay kicking in 
ye dust. Joyfully, stout Jack joined in ye merry sport, and presently two more 
of ye fattest lay with the first. Then would Rat have hidden them under his coat 
and gone on his way, but suddenly he saw ye fearsome Derby of a constable, 
and he whom men call Chicken from this very adventure came upon them with 
wrath in his eye. Then did Rat and stout Jack Nimblefoot drop ye fowls and 
flee once more outlaws to the good King Cab. Thus came these unlucky twain 
for the last time into sad disgrace, and a price was set upon their heads for 
whomsoever should bring them before the Council of the Three over which the 
gracious Cab presideth. 

Rat Cometh to His Trial 

So, having fallen into deep disfavor, stout Rat wandered forth about ye Merry 
College, seeking whatever of trouble might lie in wait for him. By evil chance 
he did observe the Fire Machine which hangeth hard by ye Ancient Terrace, and 
the Old Boy prompting him, he fell once more into temptation and did take ye 
Fire Machine down from its fastenings. Then did he disport himself about ye 
Hall, squirting ye strong Juice upon ye walls and floor and even upon those who 
dwelt thereabouts. But hearing ye great commotion, my Lord Boohoo hasteneth 
up from ye President's Hall that he might stop the devilty of ye boisterous Rat. 
But thinking him a common Wayfarer, stout Rat did cry, "Make way ! make way !" 
and squirteth ye strong Juice upon my worshipful Lord Boohoo, whereat his 
lordship, much incensed, laid strong hold on Rat and bore him down into the Coun- 
cil of the Three. Right sorrowfully went bold Rat before ye good King Cab, and 
fain would he have spoken for himself, but ye august Three as one commanded 



1 68 



strict silence from ye captive reprobate. And great was the confusion of tongues 
that fohowed; so great, indeed, that they did continuaHy hinder each other in ye 
administration of justice and did contradict each the other most profusely until 
stout Rat was exceeding wearied. But one and all they swore that he should 
dwell with them no longer and bade him farewell most heartily. So did Rat pack 
him down ye Pike and so was he shipped from out ye flimsy walls forever. And 
thus all things have an end, but not such a just and woeful end as befell stout Rat 
and his lusty lads at the hands of the Three within our Merry College. 

Ye Queer Mug, '08 




169 



What They Know 



Those Children of Peter 

Prof. N. : Mr. Thomas, what is a teleudospore? 
Thomas: Professor, isn't it a "raised" spore? 

Prof. N.: Raised how? On a bottle? (Puts down an "absolute" zero for 
Thomas.) 

Prof. N.: Qper, what is meant by the Mutation of vSpecies? 
Cooper: It is when a plant "jumps," Professor. 

Prof. N.: And do plants jump out of the ground, Qper? If so, then how 
far, when, and where} 

Prof. N, : How high do raspberries grow with you, Firor? 
FiROR : Oh, about thirty feet in the mountains. Professor. 
Thomas (interrupting eagerly): In "Charles" we use the old canes for 
railroad ties! 

NoviKiANS (in chorus): Give him the pup! give him the pup! 

One of the "Children," overhearing a heated discussion of Cowper's poems: 
' ' Oh, yes ! Barney is always making mistakes like that ! " 



170 




CALENDAR 



— — 


1^^ y'^ ^y. 1 

Sn.T W TF5 


^ ^ ,. *f » r « 

Y» d «/ -K « * <* 






Comntitfec on Diary 
F. E. RuMiG 



G. G. Becker 



K. M. Paradis 



April, 1907 



12. Arbor Day. We are treated to a "prac- 
tical " address from the Dept. Plant trees beside 
the tennis court. Three cheers for Mein Herr 

1, II ^ ^ <- - ^ .^ Novik ! Great day for the Corn Crackers ! They 
='- — --~ -~:=J play the "Squeedunks" from 4 p. m. until sun- 
_ down. vScore 3 to 2 in favor of the C. C. 

r"-"''^'' "Hickey" Bowland's catching the feature of the 

game. 

13. The Corn Crackers are seen touring Washington afoot under "Rube's'' 
protecting wing. They scale the dizzy heights of the Monument, wander thru 
all the museums, and at 4 p. m. "Rube" is seen stretching out toward the Capitol 
with Corn Crackers scattered along the Avenue for two miles. At lunch Corn 
Cracker Gray ' 'helps himself " from Ford and Graham's sandwich counter. 

15. Oratorical Contest, won by Lippincott with "Americanism." 

16. Election of Reveille Officers. "vSomebody" buys a new hat. "Indigo 
Blue" gives the "scientific" Juniors a bad dose of "Organic" with forked and 
pentagonal effect. 

1 7. Thomas makes a "ten " auf Deutsch ! 

18 Firor prepares to enter the Alumni Debate. Prof. Bomberger asks, 
"Are you in earnest, Mr. Firor?" and Bill (the scholar lost in the lover once 
more) answers, dreamily, "Oh, yes. Darling." 



171 



19- M. A. C, 7; Fredericksburg, 2. Jones, he pitches. WilHar fails to 
make any announcements. The Corn Crackers depart. 

20. Hyattsville "boys" give a dance. M. A. C. "butts in" — "butts out" 
again. Cold feet! Old Man Sturgis has bad dreams. The Klu Klux are abroad. 

21. Cockey seriously ill. Walking, as usual, more attractive than chapel. 

22. Bug Brigade organized. "Johnnie" acts as waiter vice Thomas unde^ 
the influence of "schlechte rauche." Amendment submitted to the League 
Constitution; our "advisory member" voices his opinion and we follow sine 
die — Mahoney's latest — "wheresoe'er he leadeth." 

23. Hicks "due to measles." White belts for Jamestown. Roelkey con- 
siders the matter. Shamberger officially loses his shoes. 

P. S. He wants them badly. Finder will please return. 

24. "Katy did," but "Slippery" didn't make a "ten" in Bugology. Jun- 
iors begin to shed their chevrons. Result: seventeen exponents of "laissez 
faire" are "stung." Stifler and Spalding clean house; Johnnie, in conse- 
quence, takes out an insurance policy. "Bluebeard" fails to send Day to the 
board in Calculus. Who flunks next? 

25. "Commie" fails to show up for two days. Someone dropped a bomb 
on him yesterday! Brice sends out a "bid" to the May Ball, requesting the 
"fair one" to answer promptly as there are "others." "Lemon," in due course. 

26. "Slippery" leaves for Westminster. Finds "grub" much like home. 
Is defeated, but ah! that evening "parlor," and those W. M. C. divinities quite 
take the sting away. Will he forget them? Never! 

27. The "Rubes" trim the gentlemen from Delaware, 7 to 2. Really, 
how could we be so rude ! 

28. Miss D. the center of all eyes. "Dick" is starring to-day. Crapster 
actually forgets to go to sleep this evening. 

29. Still raining. Vocke hasn't taken that snake down yet. 

30. Companv A musters a whole squad for battalion drill and, of course, 
gets the line. 

MAY 

1. "Squirrel" abdicates for the "good of the service." Letter from 
"Ferdy Z." "Still very busy! will write more fully later." "Cab" is a little 
previous; announces the St. John's game for 2:30 p. m. "Not 1:30, gentlemen, 
not 1 130 but 2 :3o. Bear it in mind ! Bear it in mind !" 

2. Agricultural lecture; "Propagation of Eggs by Cuttings." All courses 
will attend. Capt. Mudd announces that in the future the battalion wih form 
"outside" on the hall "inside." 



172 



3- Victory! St. John's goes "up the tree" with a score of 7 to 2. Their 
engaging Johnson roots "it up" for us. May Ball. A howling success! "Ape's" 
partner touches the floor only once during the whole dance. Refreshments give 
out and floor is crowded. "Rube" makes his "debut." 

4. Track Meet. "Aggies blanked !" Choate gets tired and joins the spec- 
tators. Poor "Piggie!" 

6. "Boo hoo" resurrects his time-worn masterpiece — "Class Day Re- 
hearsal." "Hawk" Jamison now leading the Sophs in Chemistry. Charles 
County will out ! 

7. Williar about to-day taking orders for "Jamestown" belts. Has one 
of Bessie's as a sample. "Indigo Blue" to stick to the Junior "Organics" 
with a written "quiz" to-morrow. "General Reactions," as advertised, said to 
be "perfectly harmless." 

8. Vocke ends his course auf Deutsch; Mudd and Bowland continue 
"team work" auf the same indefinitely. "Organic" Test as scheduled to-day; 
score as follows: "Scientists," 15; "Farmers," 18; "Chemists," 23! The Bug 
Snatchers discuss the Degeneration of the Bed Bug; Firor (as usual) finds its 
life history "quite interesting." 

9. Great celebration by Juniors! Only five themes are in on time. "Old 
Fossils" inflicts no Agricultural Lecture and the boys are nearly wild with joy. 
"Dick" makes the remarkable discovery that chinch bugs in the adult stage 
winter over in "derbys" (debris). 

10. Trustees Day. School "keeps" in the morning. Battalion drill in 
the evening ; much enjoyed by the Zodiacs, who eat dinner during the whole per- 
formance. Blanks issued at drill reappear as bombs about 7 p. m. As a result 
guards go on and Williar inaugurates the "Open Door." 

11. Franklin Marshall vs. M. A. C. So very, very exciting! Frantz in- 
quires whether Dr. Buckley will preach the "Bacteriological" Sermon. vSham- 
berger has a regulation hair-cut. Wonder if he really thinks "Commie" is a 
phrenologist ? 

12. Sunday. Bug Brigade out in full force. Pantry robbed. "Nux" 
breaks all sprinting records. "Curly" finds himself on the President's Hall at 
6 p. M., looking for breakfast. 

13. Cockey is removed to the Captain's residence. Guards on again. 
This place is surely "Going Up." 

14. "Dick" expresses an earnest desire to have a good "epigram" on his 
tombstone some day. "The good always die young." Roelkey makes "Old 
Fossils" a business proposition — to "set him up" in the manufacture of rennet 



173 



from babies' stomachs. "Indigo Blue" requests the Juniors not to "overexert 
themselves to be too brief." Oh, no indeed, Professor! 

15. CathoHc University fails to get on to "Little Cab's" curves. If Dr. 
Tollie were only here now! Hoshall indorses a June Ball receipt of $1.50 to pay 
for his Reveille. "Bombie" observes that the Juniors have in the past been 
on intimate terms with "justices of the peace." $3.75! Understand? 

16. Who told Brice that he always put "a tail" to everything he said or 
did? Nobody! Long tries to "personify " fats in "Organic." Zip! 

17. Inspector here. Day and Thomas make their appearance together for 
the first time in the Diary. Are pursued by an irate father. Cause unknown! 

18. Frantz poses as "Carnegie the Second"; takes his seventeenth condition 
"exam" in Bush Fruits — and four more books are added to the Horticultural 
Library. Washington Readers' Club pays us a visit and B. H. Warner trims 
"Cab" off as "The Man with the Hoe." Wouldn't we like to see the latter at 
work on Tollie's ditch! 

20. Another tradition shattered! Roelkey informs "Old Fossils" that he 
came to M. A. C. not to learn how to work, but how to make money without work- 
ino-. And we thought the Zodiacs were the only ones who knew that M. A. C. 
was a get "rich quick" scheme! 

21. Junior Class Meeting. Election of lictors. "Nervy" wants to vote 
for two "presidents" also. One is quite enough, the Juniors think, and "Stubby" 
is elected. Cooper (at drill) commands, "Right oblique by twos." Result — 
dire confusion in Company A. 

22. Dr. Toll tells the "Ape" that there is no danger of his getting onto 
his (Dr. Toll's) curves. Jamison still leading the Sophs in Chemistry. 

23. Sensational baseball! Faculty, 3; 'Varsity, 31. The "Profs" are 
slaughtered! "Indigo Blue," however, catches a good game. Probably due to 
the enthusiastic rooting of the "Organic" Juniors. Star players — Gahan and 
"Nux." The latter makes a thrilling catch while "Haustellate" Weldon is study- 
ing the "life history" of third base. 

24. Facultv sore in mind and body. "Indigo Blue" evidently took an 
"acid fixing bath" last night, for "lemons" are plenty in "Organic" this morn- 
ing. Dance at the 'Ville to-night. More cold feet! Brigham still anxious to 
go on O. D. ; Brice same. 

25. The pennant is ours. Frantz reported for disorder during study hours. 
Decides to Hck Brigham at once. Much "forensic "persuasion required to quiet him. 

26. "Hog" Hatton discovers that the first gun of the Revolution was fired 
at Yorktown. And this is a Senior! 



174 



28. Frantz posts a "written defamation" on Ruffner's door. Result — 
Frantz acquires one broken head, two broken chairs, and recants before the Alley 
assembled. And thus Virginia's honor is vindicated! 

29. Frantz "balances up" his accounts; only $113 out of the way. Pretty 
good for Washington County! Jamestown promotions are read out. The "Ape" 
gets a big, fat lemon! 

30. The boys leave for Jamestown. Thomas after giving "Cab" the lie 
direct also leaves. Verily, a Man of Spirit ! Day takes charge of the "deserters," 
who spend their "leisure hours" raiding strawberry patches, calling on "Park 
Society," and sleeping. Oh, what bliss! 

RAIN! RAIN! RAIN! RAIN! 

June 

5. The boys return, but not Thomas. Everybody sleepy. 

7. Senior-Junior German. "Willie" Firor has his quartette out and is 
caught trying to hold three pairs of hands at once. 

8. "Slippery" acquits himself as befits a Senior; stays in bed until chapel 
and consequently, three O. D's answer the Zodiac's strenuous ring. Frantz 
takes his last exam, in Bush Fruits and is officially flunked. 

9. Frantz's "bacteriological" sermon comes off rather lamely. The 
Question of the Hour! What will the promotions be.^ 

10. Class Day Exercises. The Old and the New smoke the "Pipe of Peace." 
Address by Prof. Bomberger — "The Spirit of Modern Philosophy." Class of '97 
holds a reunion ! 

11. Rain again! Co. "C" wins the '97 vSword for Linnell. Alumni debate 
Medal goes to Lippencott. 

12. Commencement Day. Promotions! "Ape" beats "Parachute" out 
after all. And "Commie " asks if he is satisfied ! June Ball. A Dream of Delight. 

13. The Morning After! The Festive Juniors spend the "cool hours" 
before dawn in "The Richmond" (Lunchroom). 

Tableaux 

Scene: Before the Treasury. Time: Sunrise. 

Capt. "Dick," "Paderewski" Firor and the new "Queer Mug" singing in 
cracked and tuneful chorus: "We'rE HERE BECAUSE WE'RE HERE." 

Oblivion 



175 



September 

1 6. Back at M. A. C. once more. Reeder stows away the new "rat" Michael, 
and the "Shadow" returns in time to go on O. D., distribute Y. M. C. A. circulars 
and peddle electric bulbs. 

17. Day and "Ike" vSmith formally open the new scholasitc year by sitting 
up until 1:45 A. M. over a game of pitch. Wilson "treats" to cigars. Emrich 
the Rat tells "Ape" to keep his bad piece of meat ! 

18. Seniors begin to float in. Y. M. C. A. does a rushing business. 

19. The "Zone" appears on the scene looking for the Q. M. Emrich takes 
charge of the battalion at mess. The "dignified" Seniors commit the first of 
their "irresponsible" acts; raid a watermelon patch. 

20. "Mother" Michael again taken for a "rat." This time by Price. Church 
registers as a "Methodical Pespertian." 

21. A "rat" asks for the "real" Captain Silvester. If Charlie only knew! 

22. Opening meeting of the Y. M. C. A. 

23. The "additionals" begin to pour in; "Curly" distributing parasols 
en route and "Parachute" posing as the hero of a real tragedy. The "Cabbite" 
rat "responds" to calls for "Sylvester" in the athletic meeting. Sustained 
applause ! 

24. The Conspirators draw up their "ultimatum," and decide to go home 
and go to farming. Also , to get married at the earliest possible moment. 

25. The Ultimatum delivered! "Zodiac" keeps the wires hot between 
him and the State House. Meanwhile "Commie " providentially intervenes , and the 
Conspirators, of whom Solari is "chief," hold a council of war in the O. D.'s room. 
They decide not to deprive the institution of their "useful" presence just yet. 

26. "Mike" informs Dr. Tollie that his duty as "axeman" to the surveying 
partv is to chop wood. "Oh, certainly!" Cesar loses the key to the transit box 
and in consequence the C. E. Seniors spend the following Saturday grazing the 
campus for the "lost treasure." Is found at last behind the clock on Georgie's 
mantelpiece, labeled, "A Reuic." 

27. Y. M. C. A. reception. Little makes a "jarring" hit with his violin 
solo, "Words of Love." 

28. M. A. C, 13; Tech., o. "vStink" and the "Ape" engage in a rough- 
house after "taps." "Woodpecker" precipitates. All off to see "Fifty Miles 
from Boston." "Weren't is awful!" 

30. First round between "Woodpecker" and the Seniors a draw. "We 
will not stand to the "attention." "Won't You?" 



176 



October 

1. "Bombie" boards the Seniors on the good craft, "Responsibility." 

2. "Mother" Michael again. This time "Rat" asks if he is a "day dodger." 
Gary "sandpapers" Queen Boadicea in Freshman History. 

3. Prof. Bomberger's stringent order promulgated a few days since has its 
effect when to-day the "undisciplined" Senior Class hands in its theme outlines 
to a man. The Pie Merchant gets into a serious argument with the Prof, in Eco- 
nomics to-day and a o rolls his way. "Well, he might as well hold on with a 
firmer grip and hope anew!" 

4. "Bombie" is jovial in Economics and quite sentimental in Classics. 
What's the reason? The same old story. Boss asks "Ape" if he is a "rat." 
Poor old ' 'Ape !" Will he never look like an old boy? 

5. Richmond, 11; M. A. C, 6. The Athletics also lose out. 

6. Four "wandering minstrels" call at M. A. C, and entertain us for the 
evening. God speed ! 

7. Battalion Drill to-day , during which "Commie" undergoes "psychical 
excitation." "Georgie" goes on O. D., and in taking the noon report mistakes 
"Willie" Green for the Capt. of Company "B."' 

8. "Bombie" comments adversely on "Rats'" "First Love," and discovers 
the hero of Hoshall's short story to be a "male" equestrienne! We wonder is 
"he" any relation to a "female" woodpecker? A windy drill. "Commie" kept 
busy chasing hats. He tells the "rats" how to execute "Right Dress." "When 
you count 'one,' turn your head to the right; when you count 'two,' turn your 
head to the right; when you count 'three,' etc. etc." Result, — "limber" necks 
for the "rats." 

9. Navy, 12; M. A. C, o. Tausky makes a "touchdown." Experimental 
Psychology is progressing rapidly. Seniors take notes largely derived from 
personal experience with infants. Great precocitv is observed in one instance, 
the subject being able to walk at ten months and at one year able to lisp, "Uncle 
Barney." 

10. Seniors see, taste and smell things in "Psy." "Wollen Sie Boo hoo" 
feeds the .Senior German Class on "ginger cakes"; Hoshall, zip! Spillman lec- 
tures on the "Profitable Production of Rocks in New England," or "How I Raised 
the Mortgage at Twenty Tons per Acre." The "executing" committee convenes. 

11. Trustee Day and a half holiday. All honor to Bacchus! Paradis loses 
both bugler and orderly. 



177 



12. 'Varsity leaves for St. Mary's. "Reserves" play Laurel High; score, 
lo to 5. During the second half Laurel appears in Nature's garb. "Sam" is 
reported for "ungentlemanly behavior" at the table. "Woodpecker" decides 
to ship "Nervy." Wise old Fowl! 

13. Barney badly hurt yesterday. Mr. Nuttle addresses the Y. M. C. A. 
on the subject of "Hidden Foes." 

14. The Congregation of Zodiacs throws a bomb into our camp. "If you 
don't like M. A. C. grub, Hike or Board Elsewhere!" The new sabers arrive. 
Making ready for Baltimore. 

15. Off for Baltimore, with Long in command. Bouquets by the dozen 
for M. A. C, and her "pretty" boys, especially her Quartermaster. Mmni! 
On the way home "Commie" treats us to cigarettes and "cusses" that "circus" 
horse. 

16. The "Farmers" leave for Hagerstown. Of course, nothing at the Fair 
will compare with what ' 'Aw Hell " "seen " and "done " in Europe. 

17. Special from Hagerstown: Reeder, Golden and Sigler make a "hit" 
with the virgins of this metropolis, but balk at a "box seat" in a twent3'-cent 
theatre. And somebody said they were sports! "Who's at that door?" Bob 
knows ! 

18. Moonlight dance. Benzoic Acid and Babies occupy the Senior stage 
to-day. Charlie "weeding out" the Dagoes in his company — "All who cannot 
speak English step one pace to the front." 

19. The Zodiac lectures in Cecil Co. on "The Man with the Hoe." 

21. Thomas fails to "appercieve" in Psychology. This is something like 
getting a "ginger cake" auf Deutsch. "Commie" details Wilson to drill "rats.', 
Roger reads an extract from the Manual, gives "Stack Arms," and then "Rest." 

22. "Peter" is drowned during drill. Circumstantial evidence points 
toward "Lev." and things look black for him in consequence. The Major has a 
little "visitor" at drill to-day. "Goo-goo, Uncle Barney!" "Stink" is married! 

23. Coster explains the nature of centripetal force to "Hee Haw" Jarrell, 
using a baseball as an example. "One side," he says, "goes around faster than 
the other." 

24. "Rat" is advance agent for the "Supper" in the Park. "Johnnie" 
goes on a strike. "Boo hoo" borrows ten cents from Old Man Calvert. Tydings 
has a "prethought." Wilburn spells "anewmonia." 

25. Dr. Laws lectures on "Holland and The Rhine." Big mass-meeting. 
Coach Church can't for the life of him "see" when the lights go out. "Peter Pan" 
is in town — "Just the cutest bov vou ever saw!" 



178 



26. M. A. C, II ; George Washington, o. Are we all dead yet? No, by 
golly, there's "ii " left yet! "Nervy Nat" leads the triumphal procession within 
the White House grounds. "We're going to tell Teddy about it!" But Teddy 
is not "at home" and a "billy" sends them out at the double quick. "Cassio" 
arranges to meet his lady friend "inside" the Belasco after the game. 

28. "Aw Hell" lectures the "Farmers" on "Cabbage, Carnage, and Cows," 
as he "seen" them on the Island of Jersey. Everybody out trying for the team. 

29. "Gene" wakes to find himself an "Additional Third." The Novikians 
take an exam, in Landscape Gardening, in which most of the "hanging gardens" 
look like zips. Unusual harmony in the Chemical Lab. ; Paradis wipes his hands 
on the "Doctor's" shirt only twice. 

30. Halloween approaches. "Caboshua" departs into a far country and 
the good "Spenconius" reigns in his stead. The latter calls together the congre- 
gation of the Cabushites and promises them wherewithal to fill the "inner man." 
"It will be provided," saith he, "boo-hoo, it will, it will!" 

3 1... A new institution — The Oyster Roast. All out at 9:30 p. m. sharp. 
Barney appears in scarlet tuxedo, straw hat and green umbrella. If "Peter" 
could only see the "Cadet Mijore" now! Oysters, crackers, and vinegar in abun- 
dance! The Sophs rush the Freshies for nearly two hours. The Freshman 
Tolsonius — "a youth ruddy and fair of countenance" — is rent limb from limb 
by the Sophs, and they would have given his carcass lip to the beasts of the field 
and the fowls of the air had not his brethren come to his rescue and driven the 
brave Sophites to their holes. The feature of the evening — Slugging and Jawing 
Match ; Ward vs. Fields. ' ' Fats ' ' wins out ! Everybody in conclusion — ' ' Hurrah 
for Prof. vSpence, 'Charles S.,' 'Johnnie, ' and the whole D — N Eastern vShorE !" 

November 

I. Nineteen casualties from last night's affair — "The most orderly Hallow- 
een on record."' What will the "Ville" do for pavements this year? Classes 
drag to-day, but the faculty are wise enough not to notice it. "Caboshua" re- 
turns. All quiet at M. A. C. 

3. Current Topics for October — Broughton's House and Barney's Psy- 
chological Baby. Firor experiences the "Riverdale Turndown" and undergoes 
acute "lemonization, " holding up the wall during the whole dance. 

4. Urah adopts a white-headed "brother," Barnev witnesses the passing 
of a little visitor by his window, and even "Peter" is caught making eyes from the 
basement of Science Hall, presumably at — Cab. 



179 



6. Crothers elected. Great rejoicing by Thomas and Day. "Wollen Sie" 
holds forth on the "Fall of Jericho" ; and, "with the breaking of pitchers and the 
snuffing of candles, the walls fell down." We are not "in a position to criticise," 
but a course in Bible Study is recommended. 

7. The Senior "Farmers" learn from no less an authority than "Indigo 
Blue" that "Agricultural Chemistry" is a "loose conglomeration of disconnected 
facts," and in consequence they sadly take up the endless "chain" in "Organic" 
again. Mass-meeting. "Rat" proposes to find the bottom of Chester River 
with a rope around, if we do not win. "If you love me," says Chas. S., "win!" 

9. M. A. C, 10; Washington College, 5. Stinson has his "moustache" 
shaved off. "Socrates" Trimble, while turning mushroom beds in Science Hall, 
suddenly recovers his "appetite for study." 

11. A Red-Letter Day with Bombie! "Psychologically speaking, when a 
snake hatches out, he acts like a snake; when a puppy "hatches out" — why, 
he acts like a puppy." We are also advised "to spread ourselves out," but not 
too "thin." Brigham takes the lesson to heart, but, alas, we fear, too late ! 

12. Six Seniors actually have their themes ready to present this morning. 
Bombie savs nothing about procrastination and everyone present breathes a sigh 
of relief. Paradis discovers that Shem, Ham and Japhet were sons of Peter 
the Great. 

13. Reeder roots up "Lemon the Third," under "Aw Hell," and the vShadow 
is heard muttering, "Seven, Come Eleven," as he pursues his delightful search into 
bovine genealogy. Who was the "woodpecker" in Dupuy's room this evening? 
"Wirt" knows. 

14. "Nervy" observes that Man is greater than Woman. Prof, in Economics 
answers (presumably from personal experience) "Sometimes, not always." 

15. Great Mass-meeting. "Boo hoo" advises us to bet on the "dapple 
gray" horse. Anticipation! 

15. Realization!!! A great day for — St. John's. We lose, notwithstanding 
the fact that Bombie and the Alumni were on the spot. How did "IT" happen! 
The Pie Merchant does a rushing business, nevertheless. "It's an ill wind that 
blows no good !" Dance to-night is very different from the May Ball of last spring. 
But turn and turn about is only fair play. 

17. V. M. C. A. meeting is one of praver and fasting. 

18. The disciples of Novik mourn the death of Underwood, author of "Mil- 
dews and Mushrooms." Prof. Norton even cracks a joke to console them. 



180 



2 1. Belated Senior themes begin to drift in. Shamberger is a "little un- 
fortunate" in Economics to-day. Brice sleeps until the fourth period; he is 
evidently reverting to the wild state. 

22. "Maj." Stinson requests certain of his brother officers to retire while he 
holds a private inquest over Golden. 

23. Gallaudet, 5; M. A. C, o. Barney's shoulder is dislocated. "Shammie" 
and "Sister" are lost in the International Y. M. C. A. Convention in Washington. 
They are sometimes seen stealing down the cinder path at 5 a. m., and when they 
return at night nobody knows. 

26. "Shammie" and the Shadow call at the White House by "special ap- 
pointment." "De-e-elighted!" of course! 

28. Big Dinner! Thanksgiving Dance comes off. "Sam" supplies the 
"Turkey." Thomas discovers that "Economy is the Road to Wealth." and Day 
decides to come back next year and take the second year Agr. Course. 

29. "Georgie" rings up the fire alarm instead of the bell boy and causes a 
panic in the New Willard. Frere walked out from town last night. Stinson and 
Day become satellites to Mars (one of Warthen's jokes). 

December 

1. Cooper visits Riverdale as usual this evening. "Bill" Firor entertains 
a suburban family at Hyattsville for two hours on the pianola. 

2. The Novikians leave for Baltimore. 

3. "Socrates" Trimble sprains his stomach. Too much Thanksgiving. 

4. A problem in psychology — "What would "Bob" Ruffner do if he were 
suddenly transported to a rural district in China?" Take a car to Georgetown, 
of course. Scene in the Eutaw House ("Dick" modestly refuses entrance to the 
"chambermaid") "'Deed, I didn't ring for you, ma'am!" (this last from under 
the bed). 

5. The "additionals" are on the rampage. They discover that the Jun- 
iors want a military school. Sticks — Byrd, 90 ; Paradis, 96 ; Wilson, 102 ; "Curly " 
buys the pies. 

6. Lecture on Thos. Bernado. "We can all we can." Joke! joke! 

7. Sophs play the Freshmen — 20 to 11. Seniors challenge the winners. 
"Rat" and "Sus" take a stroll and fall in with some stray chickens. 

8. The "Ape" threatens to demolish the "Cadet Mijore." Chickens taint 
the hall. O. C. Trimble makes midnight inspection, but loses. 



9- The top-hall gang pay "Peter" a visit; "Polly" Roberts acting as a 
reception committeee. "Disappear, disappear!" cries Peter. Firor in written 
test — "Gooseberries habitually pick themselves green." "Zeep." 

10. The "Heifer" goes too far afield in Economics; consequently "flunks." 
Towers salutes Madam Fitzhugh. The additionals continue the rigorous ad- 
ministration of military discipline; Plumacher, E., io6. 

1 1 . Seniors receive communications from Riverdale Park Company, in care 
of the "Bald-headed Preacher," the Bugle Corps and other questionable agents. 
"Mike" is quite sure that domesticated animals are beneficial to mankind, but 
hard-hearted Bombie says, "show me." Another old one — Roth is sent to 
Prof. Gwinner for a left-hand monkey-wrench. Of course, the "Ape" sent him. 

12. "Indigo Blue" fails to precipitate at College to-day; no organic chem- 
istry. Another great calamity follows. The Agricultural Lecture fails to come 
off; really, this place is on the decline. Stinson, O. D. The carnage continues; 
casualties very heavy among the "military" of the Junior class. 

13. Farewell to Organic. The Novikians receive official notice of Exams, 
per M. L. S. Christmas dance. The vShadow taken suddenly sick ; condition 
serious. "Aw Hell" gives his lecture on European Agriculture before the vScience 
Club; three members present. "Dick" gives his famous definition of blank 
verse, "Anvthing that does not rhyme." 

14. Delinquency sheet is doubled for to-day. O. D. "Shadow" very busy. 
16. "Marv" writes "Buzz," that "It is so lonesome in the 'Ville." Church 

reported for blowing bugle improperly. Christmas Hegira begins and the diary 
is forgotten. 

January, 1908 

6. Leap year. Returning of the clans. Alas! "Johnny" with bag and 
baggage has departed. What will the REVEILLE do without him! vSmith, 
W. C, also fails to appear. How we nfiss his quiet ways! "Socrates" Trimble 
entertains us with his Christmas adventures. Has had a touch of the grip; too 
much turkey; and a chase after a rabbit thru a forest of telegraph poles, finally 
beating his way to M. A. C. on a two-cent fare to Harper's Ferry. The Shadow 
wakes at 3 a. m. to find his bed in a bucking state; a strenuous battle follows. 
Result, breakage fee, $10. 

7. "Commie" issues general orders galore and puts an embargo act on 
"social intercourse." Too bad about the "deplorable and mortifying" condition 
of those rooms. Barney turns in at 12:30 p. m., singing "Under the Old Cherry 
Tree." "Mother" Michael makes her debut as O. C. 



1S2 



8. Schewe tells Prof. R. that Washington was born in 1492. "Commie" 
commences tactics by opening fire on Stinson's flank while he is at "Rest"; classi- 
fies Dupuy as a French-Spaniard. Practical Chemistry for Sophs; choice exhi- 
bition of Christmas bargains (suspenders). We hear that Frantz is married! 

9. Crothers inaugurated. "Rat" issues orders for saluting the Major's 
picture rack. Brice becomes witty and asks ' 'What den 'Ury ' is in." An intensely 
interesting Agricultural Lecture. Rumig, Thomas, Day and the Chambermaid 
play "pitch" under the light of the stereopticon. 

10. In Economics "Nervy" suggests investing in "machines after the neces- 
saries of life are supplied." "A wife is rather an expensive machine, Mr. Warren," 
says Bombie. The Zodiac makes a late inspection ; confiscates several decks of 
cards and holds a euchre party at the "Administrative Mansion" the following 
night. 

11. New laundry system installed. Everybody invests his last nickel in 
a laundry list. Juniors depart to Washington for Reveille; photo and return in 
their usual salubrious condition. Cab wants to know who was chopping ice on 
the night of the Tenth. We refer you to the "pitch gang" of the Ninth. If 
He Only Knew! 

12. Real music in chapel to-day. A fire discovered in Reddy Munson's 
hair. Day and "Stink" resort to the "extinguisher." Fire put out; hair bleached. 
"Glycerine" for dessert to-day (according to Dennis). Dennis also dreams aloud, 
"Dove me and the world is yours." (We, too, have known puppy love. — Ed.) 

13. Thomas receives an "absolute" zero in Senior Botany. Cooper is star- 
tled to learn that he is expected "to fesign his position unless he can keep his 
halls clean." "Commie" recommends the Philippines to the class in "Tactics." 
A rare chance to see this world and — "the 'next,'" adds Paradis the Irrepressible. 
Stinson, Brice and Cooper are highly recommended for the "service." Shorthorns 
arrive and are promptly "stalled." vSeniors elect officers for June Ball Organiza- 
tion ; Day, Treasurer. The latter immediately engages box seats in the Gayety 
for the whole crowd. 

14. "Commie" determines to rid the country of the O. M., and very 
kindly recommends the Constabulary for him. "Wollen Sie" attempts to 
interfere with fire drill on "A" hall, but has to suddenly make way for "Rat." 

15. Stanton at guard mount, orders, "Right Step, Right Address." "Commie" 
verv much occupied looking for a "major" among the Juniors. "Ape" gets a postal 
with two mules and a looking-glass upon it; he completes the trio. "Commie" 



183 



renews his urgent invitation to join the congenial gathering in the "other" world 
via the Philippines. "Rat" takes his "medicine graceful" and decides to cut 
out "fire drills" in the future. 

i6. Fire Drill! The Zodiac narrowly escapes drowning; "Commie" gives 
orders to hang the hose by the neck until dry. "Rat" and the Shadow present 
"Curly" with a cosv corner. Compliments of the "Ape." Dr. Tollie entertains 
the Juniors with their weekly curtain lecture ; after the rest are gone MacEnany 
has a glimpse behind the scenes. "Mr." Paradis attempts to assist "Dr." Brough- 
ton in instructing the Shorthorns. His "room" is requested. 

17. Dr. Law delivers his farewell lecture on the "Yellowstone." We are 
all sincerely sorry to see him go. Great Junior Banquet at Harvey's! The 
"Kid" succumbs under the onerous duties of toastmaster; the "Cat" chases 
the moon from the car track up, and the "Bear," taking him for a rabbit, pounces 
on him and lays him low. 

18. "Ram" comments on the good "manure" of the night before. Juniors 
come straggling in all day long. Lord, what sports we are! "Buck" Reeder 
and "Hubbie" go to see the "Red Mill" ; the Juniors being reduced to the Gayety 
for the time being. The Big Chief pays an unexpected visit and the Crown Prince 
straightway takes French leave. 

20. After long years of faithful service. Dr. Eversfield dies. "Robbie" 
receives the "Lemon Direct," in Georgetown. Pray, what would you do if 
"someone" told you to "go right home?" Go, wouldn't you? 

21. "Fossils" loses his temper — "It's no use beating the Devil around a 
bush, Mr. Sigler," says he, "give him a little show." "Commie" tells another 
fairy story — "There will be no captains next year." Of course, we all know 
that! "Dick" reads out the "prohibition" list. "Tubby" Lunn tries for orderly 
and is "burnt." Do better next time "Tubby." 

22. "Ram" Spalding submits a truthful explanation. The O. D. gets a 
new chair. Dr. Buckley has a little stranger come to his house. "Rat" is as- 
signed to Company "A." Bombs begin to fly and beds are heard walking out of 
third-story windows. Juniors are reduced to gambling for a living; this sporting 
life is — well, you know what ! Ingram pays the Shadow fifty cents to learn his 
Forestry lesson for him. "Stiff" rejoins our happy household once more. 

23. "Boo hoo" becomes quite humorous in French. Seniors turn in their 
theme subjects; Day does not commit himself and Ingram's is found capable 
of being read "either way." Bombs continue at frequent intervals. 



184 



24- "Johnnie's" ghost appears on the Roost playing a "spook" music 
box. "Hamlet" sleeps uneasily. The Big Three meet to-day to decide the case 
of Paradis vs. Gilbert. 

25. "Roger" goes skating and strikes bottom. Cooper breaks "Nux" 
Dryden's sixth rib. "Stubby" is taken home with typhoid. Great time in the 
lab. ; "Lev" has an explosion. Thomas and Firor on getting bald invest a "bor- 
rowed" quarter in a bottle of DandarinE. 

26. Sunrise gun on the Alley; followed by an improvisatore on the "dead 
level," entitled "Turkey in the Straw." The "Ape" takes a fall and a slide; 
no "Poseys" for him. The "Glory Choir" is out here in full force. Juniors are 
much in evidence, especially "Bill" Maslin and his "married" friend. Sam 
Long reports the Crown Prince as gone "a bud-hunting." 

27. Cab announces entries for a four o'clock meet in his private office; first 
entrv, Sophomore Civil Engineers; second entry, first heat, Shamberger, Solari, 
and Plumacher Bros; second heat, Lowrey and others. "Wollen Sie" tries to 
remember how the week days begin in Senior German. With small letters, of 
course! Cab spiels on "Dynamos" this morning; to be followed with a "light" 
inspection by "Woodpecker" and "Myron C." "Prof." Dole rings up the O. D. ; 
wants the Sun brought over to his "office" at once. Little gets only thirteen 
postals to-day. 

28. "Farmers" attend the American Breeders' Association Convention in 
town and listen to several learned dissertations on the "Mendellian Theory" 
as regards the "activating influence of gametic variations on chrosmic zygotes." 
"Herbertious Gametes," more commonly known at "Aw Hell," falls asleep twice 
during the entertainment. More skating on the Lakes; more "Mock Heroics," 
this time participated in by Messrs. Bauer, Whyte and Nyddegger, the "Crown 
Prince" being "Principal vSpectator." 

29. The Crown Prince informs "Commie" how to take "postis." Big "Pug" 
Byron is here and "Georgie " remarks, ' ' My, but Eddie has grown !" 

30. Paradis decides to quit robbing the barber and has his head "shingled." 
Bombie fails to meet the Seniors in Composition. "Pete" Dailey's "calico" 
pup leaves the Alley "by Order of Major Lloyd, U. vS. A." Dr. Tollie has another 
of his famous "heart-to-heart" talks with the Juniors; MacEnany, in particular, 
getting very close to the "heart." 

31. The "scientific" Seniors cool their heels for two periods under the 
"tempering" influence of the "woodlot" forest. An avalanche of Representatives 
and other "Zodiacs" descends upon us, but no half holiday. 



185 



February 

2. Barney "roots" Roger out of bed at 11:55 P- m. to go skating on the 
Lakes. 

3. "Zone" and "Zodiac" hit the "Hst" together. Those "kmatic" 
Seniors hold a class meeting. They decide in regard to class photos that if they 
can't all "break" together at "Buck's," that they will all go "broke" separately. 

4. Seniors "Present Sabers" in Tactics. The Zone is moved to tears; 
the "400" couldn't have done better. Seniors for the most part invite Miss No- 
body out to the President's Dance; Cause — "dough" and "duds" are running 
low in the Seniorial wardrobes. What would they do if they had to come back 
next year, especially Day and Thomas ? 

5. The vShadow locks up a "pitch" party in the Pie Merchant's "place 
of business." "Commie" observes that Firor is a handsome man, but, really, 
Hoshall is so much the handsomer ! Oh, those Pretty Eyes ! The Mystery of the 
Hour — Who broke the O. D's chair? "Sam" says, "I did it with my little hatchet." 
"twenty-five demerits, you Reprobrate ! I'll fix you!" 

6. The Freshmen prepare their annual "classical" translation of "Mother 
Hubbard." "Socrates" Trimble decides that it is not in his line; he believes 
himself to be nothing less than "straight Sax." Dr. Tollie "snowballs" the 
Juniors; later "burns" the "kid glove joint," Byrd and Plumacher, E. 

7. "Stink" tampers with the electric lights and is "burnt" accordingly. 
Exciting debate in the "New Mercer." "Did the Romans agitate and what be- 
came of them?" Ask Brigham! 

8. Reveille at 7:30 a Reality! Everybody Down to Breakfast 
ON Time! Seniors leave for Bell's. The Zone and his Spouse are seen going to 
matinee at Chase's. Acting-president Turner and O. D. Mayer hold down the 
Zodiacs' chair and the Old Building respectively. 

10. The Zone is busy getting us into shape for the "War with Japan." 

11. His Highness The Crown Prince writes an appealing message to the 
"fair maiden of his love and dreams." The "Grasshoppers" mob the Shadow; 
they wish him to deliver a "San Jose" lecture on the spot. Roughhouse on the 
"Roost." "Let 'er wip," says "Yump." 

12. The Zone tells how a tough bunch of "cowboys" once tried to "intim- 
idate" him. But even with a revolver muzzle in his mouth there was nothing 
doing. Did he read it in the "Tip Top Weekly" or among the "Adventures of 
Nick Carter?" In this connection, we wonder how he felt when the "lunatic" 
Seniors handed in their "Ultimatum!" Was he scared before or after? "Nothing 
like love but loving," Bombie tells the Seniors. "In Newark," adds the "Ape." 



186 



13- Cooper very anxious to see Temp. Jarrell. "She's a cousin of mine!" 
Day and Thomas repair to the 'Ville, there to engage in a pugihstic contest, but 
"Snorter" fails to appear. Foiled again. Seniors submit theme subjects ; "The 
Fallacious Theory of Fatalism," Firor; "The Squash Bug," Long; "Analysis 
of Gas," Paradis; "Peppers," the "Doctor;" "Labor and Capital," Solari; 
"Greenhouse Diseases," the Crown Prince; "Banking," Cooper and Wilson; 
"Roads," Plumacher, M. ; "What Will he Do with It," Thomas. Day and 
Plumacher, E., as usual, "have not yet definitely settled" on a subject. 

14. Junior-Senior Dance. Hearts are Trumps! Barney gets his Valentine. 
"Aw Hell" refers Brigham to the "Diet." "Oh, you, 'herbertious' creature." 

15. The Zone poses in full regalia with the stafif at Bell's. The "dance," 
and nothing but the dance, the topic of the day. 

17. Thomas has his photo taken at Buck's. He carefully pads himself 
and later parades F street, dropping sections of the Star and Post along the way. 
Lieut. Firor informs Company "A" that he "rooms in 67 N. B." Such gross 
"intimidation!" "Dick" discovers a new way to pronounce "etiquette." 

18. The Zodiac forgets to offer prayer in chapel this morning. He must 
have been thinking about that "appropriation." Day in Economics knows 
absolutely nothing about "revenue." Who would have thought it! Firor's 
name, along with those of Cab and Dr. Tollie, appears in public places. 

19. Johnson getting ready for Alexandria, asks the Major for blanket straps. 
"Commie" decides to give everybody h — 1 and twenty-five demerits. 

20. "We are going to Alexandria!" "Boo hoo" in a prophetic mood — 
"Half a century from now a hairy-headed man will be a museum freak!" Here 
is the place for "Dandarine." Where are Firor and Thomas? Barney is amazed 
at "Georgie's" "dumness" regarding "poplars" as shade trees. Roughhouse 
on the Alley; the Cat is caught at last. "Woodpecker" meets the funeral pro- 
cession on the "Bridge"; identity of "victim" unknown. 

21. On to Alexandria! "Ten cents, please!" "Millions for breakage fees, 
but not one cent for tribute!" The Zodiac traps Thomas at last. "Won't 3'ou 
go to chapel?" Someone seeing Hoshall at a "select" 'Yille gathering — "Oh, 
who is that Dago? He has such 'pretty' eyes!" 

22. Windy. We do not go to Alexandria. The Crown Prince "a bud hunt- 
ing" once more; this time down Towson way. Alumni Banquet! 

23. Zodiac on the rampage. The Crown Prince badly burnt. 

25. 'Dick" gives us another of his famous definitions; this time on "pro- 
tection." The Zone spiels on deserters. 



187 



26. "Oueenie" Jarrell asks Prof. Novik for another "tambourine" (tan- 
gerine) . 

27. Ingram announces the authorship of a new bulletin ; taken from personal 
observations on the effect of "digestion" on weed seeds. "Beastly" will not 
meet the Seniors for two weeks. "Boo hoo" quite reminiscent; no less than 
three jokes in Senior French to-day. 

28. Another Rossbourg Dance, the last before Lent. Firor again undergoes 
acute lemonization. There are others, also! "Harry" forgets how to stop the 
car. 

29. Coster sings, "The Girl Who Threw Me Down," without intermission 
for four laboratory periods. Who asked "Kid" whether "it" wore pants. 



March 

1. "Pink Eye" makes its appearance at M. A. C. in the person of "Squee- 
dunks." Firor holds forth on Pathological Plant Diseases found in Botanical 
Botany. 

2. M. E. Seniors prepare to "skip" the Catfish. Enter "Commie"; "Skip! 
skip out of here !" says he. 

3. Peace on the Alley; "vSqueedunks" away on furlough. "Eugene" 
and Tausky also go to bed quietly for once. Bombie cjuits marking Barney on 
his themes. Spelling — Grade 95. 

4. Frequently heard in Baltimore these days — "My name is Warren 
(Uu-a-r-r-e-n), I represent the Reveille Association of the Maryland Agricultural 
College, etc., etc. — . " 

5. Dr. Tollie forgets to give MacEnany his weekly lecture. "Commie" 
explains for the sixth time about his "sliced" liver. 

6. Cory reported for "gross disrespect to "Woodpecker" and using his 
name in vain." What a sacrilegious dog he is! 

7. The Spencerian Chariot is seen making its way toward the 'Ville with 
"Hippo, the Ape," in charge. 

8. Holloway stays at home; Turner is away with the only collar button 
in the "house." Thomas does not play "pitch" for a whole day. "Indigo Blue" 
leaves; Broughton decides to call upon Dr. Mac. for assistance in instruction. 
Hard-working Lev. ! The Editor is caught laughing at one of his own jokes. 



9- Prof. Norton sees Cooper and Mackall taking the exam, in "Landscape 
Gardening" and, hating to be an exception, invites them down to the "mushroom" 
seance. In this case the "late" bird caught the worm! 

ID. Hathaway smiles ; Solari speaks. Cooper very fearful of an "epidemic" 
of pink-eye. The Editor's "poem" is turned down; he is naturally very blue! 
Who stole Tollie's prize chickens last night? The "vScarecrow" knows. 

11. The Pie Merchant Disappears. The "Doctor" tells Day how much 
he knows. "Three of a Pair" hoof it twenty miles for a Maryland dinner. Three 
cheers for "HER." 

12. "Beastley" meets with the Seniors from 3:00 to 6:00 p. m. "The 
Doctor " hangs out his sign : 



PARADIS AND I. 
WE KNOW IT ALL 



13. Pie Dav. Where can Thomas be? "The Night Raiders" are out. 
' ' Orange ice ' ' results. Oh, that bhssful sweetness ! 

14. A day of great rejoicing. Day passes in "Strength" and Reeder in 
"Organic." Safe at last! Everyone away in town. Tolson entering a bake- 
shop asks for "shoestrings, please!" From Montgomery? Of course, he is! 

15. Still no Thomas. "Yump" invites the "Yew" in to see the "show." 
Dr. Toll, according to precedent, prophesies that all the Juniors will surely flunk. 
We believe we have heard something of this sort before. 

16. "Charlie" draws "23" in Business Law. The Crown Prince takes up 
his bed and walks home. No Business Law for him. No, sir! "Buster" Benson 
leaves. What "Hoodoo" roosts in Company "B?" 

17. Sam Long reports His Highness the Crown Prince worse. Hoshall, 
Stinson and Sylvester are seen adjusting a transit by lifting one leg and lowering 
the other. Another case of "know it all." The Pie Merchant returns. Informs 
the Zodiac that he has had a touch of pneumonia and Day is more than ready to 
swear to it. To tell the truth, his face is "awfully gathered." The Sophs spend 
the evening " stepping .off " the campus under "Myron C." 

18. Senator Whyte dies. Day decides to "pubHcly snub" the Zodiac. 
The Pie Merchant finds a "valuable" pearl; he decides to sell out. We hear of 
nothing to-day but that automobile ride with the "yellow rich." 

19. Fields is reported only ten times to-day. Pretty good, "Fats."' 
Keep it up, old boy! "Billy" Walters asks Mr. Calvert for some "evaporated"' 



189 



butter. Day sits up on the front steps until 1 1 :55 p. m. waiting for his photos 
from Bucks. 

2 1. Georgetown, 2; M. A. C, o. And they did walk over us. Burns' me- 
lodious voice is not heard on " B " Company hall for six straight hours. 

22. A day to be remembered ! The Zodiac fails to hold chapel ! 

22,- Maryland Day preliminaries. Won by Tydings. Johnson is found 
using the transit as a telescope. Bombie tells the Seniors to investigate before 
investing. 

24. The Zodiac announces that chapel call will be sounded at "quarter of 
half past ten." vSilver nitrate treatment is used for pink-eye. "Now will you 
hit the list any more?" Alley chorus — "Never, no never." A whole day passes 
without "Tubby" singing, "Row, brothers, row." 

25. Maryland Day. "Teddy R." and B. H. Warner, guests of honor. 
Friend "Joe" spiels! 

26. Burns' voice in splendid condition to-day. Did not once stop singing 
from 7 A. M. until 7:30 p. m. We have a "deleterious" lecture on Roads. Mac- 
Enany tries to create a sensation by asking whether he should use a canvas fender 
on his "auto" during the coming season. . 

27. Ingram announces the completion of his thesis. He is sure of a medal 
and two diplomas now. Reeder makes "butter" from skim milk; he will be 
awarded a medal also — by his friend, the Director. 

28. Georgetown, 5; M. A. C, o. We are not so fortunate. Calhoun ob- 
serves that sea gulls generallv follow the front end of a ship. "The 'Ape' has not 
'sang' us a song for a long time," says "Nervy." 

30. Juniors hold one of their all-night class meetings. Some warm skir- 
mishing. Reveille officers for '09 elected; Grant Fitz Randolph MacKnany, 
Editor-in-chief; "Nux" Dryden, Office Boy! 

31. Thomas' face is "horribly drawn" again. 

April 

I. April Fool for the Navy. Navy, 3; M. A. C, 2. Cab entertains us 
with a "solo" in chapel. Day and Warthen join the select company of "Gentle- 
men and Scholars." They and Mr. Griff en also receive notice to attend chapel 
in the future! One of the evils of Current Topics; "Dr." Broughton spends the 



190 



whole day in demonstrating that "Ape" is perfectly correct on the subject of 
"light." MacEnany receives his usual share of "fatherly advice" from Dr. 
Tollie. 

P. S. In conclusion, we beg that those who have "suffered" in the diary 
and elsewhere thru their inadvertent words and acts will recall and take to 
heart "Brer Rabbit's" kindly observation that "flaxseed poultice am mighty 
good for soah places." And so, hopeful that "we mav not have written 
too many things which we ought not to have written and left unwritten 
many things which we ought to have written," we bid you "Farewell." 

"LORD KEEP OUR MEMORY GREEN." 




191 




J^l/Tis^OS'R rvJ^L/iaJ^ATST^ 



Aiin^rttB^m^nta 



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