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3jife and Religious Experience 





" Ye, when ye shall have done all those thin£»s which 
*^ are commanded you, say, We are nnpicfitable servants; 
** -^ve have done [only] that which was our duty to do " 

Ll'SE xvii. 10; 










IN publishing this account of a dearly 
l^eloved sister, there is not a great deal, as 
Editor, to perform, more than to write a fair 
transcript of her own remarks ; till the last few 
months of her life. This period does not ap- 
pear to be recorded by herself; and the omission 
is easily accounted for. She died whilst from 
home on a religious visit; and, having a reten- 
tive memory, it seems to have been her practice, 
sometunes, to commit to writing the events of 
a journey, after her return home. 

The Editor has thought he could not better 
supply the defect in her own narrative, thaa by 
A a 


giving some iiiformation respecting her last 
exercising labours, and by adding an account 
©f the closing scene. 

In making an addition to the valuable 
Journals which already exist, it may not he 
improper to say, that a peculiar interest is 
naturally felt, in the biographical narrations 
of those with whom we have been acquainted. 
Where the writer has held ferth, by unifonrv 
conduct, the impressive language of, " follow 
jne as I have followed Christ," this interest is 
doubly excited; and has also a powerful ten- 
dency to animate survivors, in the work of 
righteousnes and salvation, 


W. A^ 



From her blith to the 8th Month, 1789. 

Remarks by the Editor, including a Testimony concern- 
ing her mother. — Iler inducement for writing these 
Memoirs. — A remarkable occurrence at 10 years of 
age. — Her first impression respecting a gift in^ the 
ministry. — On reading the scriptures, plays, and ro- 
mances. — The death of her father — sister in law — and 
a near friend. — Further exercise respecting the minis- 
try— Page 11—29 


1790, to the 12th Month, 1793. 

Her situation after appearing in the ministry. — Visit to a 
friend. — Acknowledged as a minister — "\^isit to families 
at Woodbridge and Ipswich. — Norwich quarterly meet- 
ing, — Deep exercises of mind. — Beccles monthly meet- 
ing. — Bury monthly meeting. — Woodbridge monthly 
meeting— . Page 30—39 


1st Montli, 1794, to the 10th Month, 1795. 
Visits Norwich, &c. — Decease of an individual at Need- 
ham. — William Bleckley's decease. — Burial of Mary. 
Crowley. — Cambridgeshire and Huntingdonshire — 
Lincolnshire, and York quarterly meeting^ — 

iPage 40— 5C 


*!2d of 11th Month, 1795, to the 8th of 2d Month, 1796. 

A meeting at Walton. — Debenham.— Writes to a friend 

imprisoned on account of tithes — . . Page 51 — 55 

9th Month, 1796, to the 3d Month, 1798. 
Her brother William's marriage, &c. — Visits some meet- 
ings in company with Sarah Harrison and Sarah Birk>»- 
beck. — Deep conflict of mind. — ^\"isit to the Princi- 
pality of Wales, &c. — Yearly meeting at Welchpool. — 
Coalbrook Dale. — Left her sister Ann at London yearly 
meeting — Joined her again at Plaistow. — Visits Hert- 
fordshire, &c. — Macclesfield quarterly meeting. — 
Wrexham in Wales. — Account of their visit to the 
Principality. — Melksham — is ill there. — Goes to Ciren- 
cester, and returns home. — A dream. — Settles in her 
new habitation— ,,,.,.. Fagc 56 — 74 



5th Month, 1798, to the 11th Month, 1800. 
Zonden yearly meeting. — Sundry meetings in Suffolk.— 
Endures a very trying dispensation.^ — A^isits Tivetshall 
JHonthly meeting, &c. — Joins Elizabeth Coggeshall in 
visiting gundi-y jpkegg in Nofiblli^ Su^olU, Leieeiief- 
shire, Derbyshire, Nottinghamshiri, and Yorkshire.— 
Eeturns home— , ,..•.., Tage 7.5— 9T 

12th Month, 1800, to the 9th Month, 1602.- 
Concern for the youth, &c.-p— Huntingdonshire and Cam- 
bridgeshire. — Religious prospects. — Visit to Surrey, 
Sussex, and Hampshire quarterly meetings, &c. — Re- 
turns home. — Visits sundry villages in her own 
county, — Burial of Isaac Brightwen. — Decease of 

Fa^e 98—115 

12th Month, 1802, to the 7th Month, 1804. 
A season of withdrawing and trial. — Hitchen.— Visit t«. 
friends' families, &c. in Suffolk. — London yearly meet- 
ing. — Her sister Ann's visit to America. — Reflections. 
— Renewal of a religious prospect alluded to in 1801 — 
Cast before the monthly meeting. — Remark on lier 
feelings upon such occasions— . . P^^'c 116— 13:3 



3d of 8th Month, 1804,. to the 1st of 1st Month, ISQj'. 
Sets out on the visit to Scotland, &c. — Bury. — Littleport. 
. — Chatteris. — Derby. — Cockermouth. — Parton. — Isle 
of Man. — Whitehaven.' — Dissington. — Cockermouth. 
Maryport. — Cockermouth quarterly meeting. — Grey- 
Southen.— Edinburgh— -Dundee— Kinmuck — Balhal- 
gni'dy— Old Meldrum— Aberdeen— Stonehaven—Mon- 
trose — Dundee — Perth — Glasgow — Edinburgh nionth- 
ly meeting. — Newcastle — Shields — Darlington, &c.— 
York. — Welbourn. — Northampton quarterly meeting. 
Chatteris. — Returns home— . . Fage 133 — 166 


1st Month, 1805, to the 9th Month, 1806. 
E. Gibson's burial, and that of another individual. — 11 r 
sister Ann returns her certificates — Quarterly meet- 
ing. — Accompanies William Forster, jun. — Quarterly 
meeting —Earith — Page 167—173 


3d of 12th Month, 1806, to the 8th of 4th Month, 1807. 

Reflections on a prospect of visiting London and Middlesex 
quarterly meeting. — Tottenham. — Plaistow. — TjOtten- 
ham. — Southgate. — Grace-Church-Street monthly 
meeting. — C'olghester— .... Page 174— «187 



Slst of nh Month, 1808, to the 27th of 8th Month, 1809. 

^arts with her nephews W. H. and J. Alexander — 
with her sister Ann and brother William. — Visit (o 
heads of funiihes in her own monthly meeting.— 
York. — Returns home through Lincolnshire — 

Page 188—193 

Supplement by the Editor, 
CoEtainingsorae account of her last journey, also of her 
illness and decease— ..... Page 19i 208 

ig^ Account of beoks puhlkhcd b)/ Wm. Alexander — 

Page 209, 210 






Trom her Birth to the 8th Month, 1789. 

^Remarks by the Editor, including a tesfunony conceni' 
ing her mother. — Her inducement for writing these 
memoirs. — A remarkable occurrence at \0 years old. 
Her first impression respecting a gift in the ministry. 
On reading the scriptures, plays, and ro7nances, — The 
death of ker father, sister-in-law, a?2d a near friend,—- 
Further exercise respecting the ministry. 

\_ HE subject of these memoirs was born the 
7th of 2d Month, 17G0, and was the daughter 
of Dykes and Martha Alexander, of Needham 
Market, in the county of Suffolk. Her father 
was in the station of an elder, and her mother 
in that of a minister. The decease of the lat- 


tei^ when my sister was about \6 years of age, 
was a heavy loss to her ; as maternal care and 
tenderness, can find many opportunities of pro- 
tecting the youthful mind, which, from the 
different avocations of the sexes, evade a father's 
most assiduous care. 

Tlie reader will be qualified to judge more 
.completely of this loss, by perusing the follow- 
ing testimony. 

A short testimony from Woodbridge Monthly 
Meeting, concerning Martha Alexander: — 

" Our friend ISIartha Alexander, late wife of 
Dykes Alexander, of !Needham Mai-iet, in the 
county of Suffolk, was daughter of John and 
Abigail Biddle, of Esher in Surry, both valua- 
ble friends. Her mother dying when she was 
young, her father was concerned to educate her, 
and the rest of bis children, agreeably to their 
station ; especially to bring them up, according 
to the living principle of truth, and in the nur- 
ture and admonition of the Lord. 

" Our deceased friend was born the 13fh of 
the 12th Month, 1726, and married the 18th of 
the 12thMont!i; 1747. She became early sen- 


sible of the reaches of Divine Grace in her own 
heart, and embraced its heavenly visitations. 
Earnestly desirons to obtain an abiding therein, 
she submitted to the cross of Christ, renouncing 
the pursuits of vanity and the pleasures of sin ; and 
walking in circumspection, humility and the fear 
of the Lord, about the year 1750, she found her 
mind concerned to engage in the work of the 
ministry; therein we doubt not but she endea- 
voured to discharge herself faithfully, accorduig 
to her measure. 

" As she felt her mind drawii in tlie love of 
truth, she visited friends in divers parts of the 
nation; particularly in London and the parts 
adjacent, in 1752, in company with Mary 
Kirby; in the Isle of Ely and there away, 1753, 
with Margaret Marsham ; in the county of Nor- 
folk, 1771, with ISIary Gurney; and with the 
same friend, she attended the quarterly meetings 
of Lincoln and York in 1774; taking divers 
meetings in the way both out and home. 

*' She was not usually large in testimony, but 
very tender, solid, and weighty ; a living exam- 
ple of the doctrines she delivered, in conversa- 
tion and conduct; a shining pattern of humility 
B 2 


and patience, piety and charity ; faithful and 
amiable in every relation of life ; alFectionately 
united to the living in Israel ; kind and courteous 
to her neighbours; sympathizing with the af- 
flicted; and liberal to the needy of all deno- 

*' She departed this life at her daughter Jesup's, 
in Woodbridge, the 18th of the 9th Month, 
3775; and her interment was respectfully at- 
tended, both by friends and neighbours, at 
Keedham Market, the 25th of the same. She 
was aged near 49, a minister about 25 years." 

By comparing the dates, the reader will find 
that the writer of these memoirs was about 3S 
years old when she thus commenced them. 

nth Month 13th, 1798. 

It is not with the smallest supposition that 
any thing I may have to commit to paper, can 
be likely to yield either edification or consola- 
tion to those who survive me, that I am induced 
to attempt to write down some circumstances of 
my life hitherto : but I am led to do it, from a 
belief which sometimes is the companion of my 


Miind, in solemn seasons, that to look back and 
consider the merciful dealings of a gracious 
Creator, with one of the least in his spiritual fa- 
mily, (if worthy to conclude myself at all of 
this number) and, as events may be broughfe 
afresh to my remembrance, to pen them, may 
tend to my own future satisfaction and instruc- 
tion. If permitted to continue a few years longer 
in this state of existence, I expect to experience 
a partaking of the cup of mixtures. Should the 
bitter diaught be more frequently dispensed 
tlian the sweet consolations of His pure spirit, 
who is the All-wise Physician, and who knows 
best what potion is most convenient to keep the 
immortal part in health, and in a state of readi- 
ness to receive the crown of eternal life, may I 
resignedly accept it, and increasingly seek for 
ability to say with the great Pattern of submis- 
sion :-— " Not my will, but thine be done."* 

At a very early age I believe my mind was, 
at times, visited with the heart-tendering power 
of the Lord ; long before I knew what it was 
that contrited my spirit before Him. This 
led me to feel a very great love for such as I 
esteemed good friends, and enabled me to plead. 
* Lt'KE xxii. 42. 
B .3 


their cause \vhen I heard some speak slightly of 
them, on account of what were considered singu- 
larities. My education did not subject me to 
such frequent exposures as fall to the lot of 
many, and perhaps of most ; yet there were sea- 
sons when cncumstances of this sort did occur. 
One in particular I remember. When about 
10 years of age, I rebuked a person, who was 
ridiculing one whom I believed to be a valuable 
woman ; and the person's answer to me was—" I 
make no doubt but you will be a preacher whe» 
you grow up." I silently received what she said, 
and felt a secret reward, which enabled me to 
rejoice that 1 was permitted to bear my little 
portion of suffering for espousing the good 
cause. Yet sorrowful to remember, several 
years after, 1 fear 1 should have felt less ability 
to have done it, than at that early period ; but, 
with reverent thankfulness I can acknowledge, 
the wonderful goodness of a merciful God, who 
never permitted me to go long unrebuked, when 
I had wandered widely from his holy guidance. 

About the seventeenth year of my age, as I 
was sitting in a meeting at Woodbridge, I saw 
clearly, that if I was faithful, I should, after a 
time; be entrusted with a gift jn the ministry. 


Xotwithstanding my having been so favoured, I 
went afterwards much further from the simpli- 
city of my guarded education, in divers respects, 
than I had done before ; but mercy followed me 
so nearly and closely, that at times my heart 
was sad, though 1 was not guilty of any thing 
which many thought much amiss of, for a young 
person. I indulged however in many inclina- 
tions and propensities, which required to be 
slain by the sword of the Lord, before I could 
be brought into 3 state of acceptance with Him. 

At length my desires were earnest to witness 
redemption from the world ; and, in the twenty- 
third year of my age, one first day evening, after 
1 came from a neighbouring meeting, in a solid 
frame of mind, 1 went mto my chamber, and, 
taking up the bible, opened it at the seventh 
chapter of the Revelations, and read the two 
last verses : " They shall hunger no more, nei- 
ther thirst any more; neither shall the sun light 
on them, nor any heat ; for the Lamb which is 
in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and 
shall lead theui unto living fountains of Maters : 
and God shall wipe away all tears from their 
eyes." On reading this passage my mind was 
so opened to view this, precious state of departed 


ispirits, and, I believe, for a short space so permit-* 
ted to participate their joy, that Peter-hke, I de- 
sired I might build a tabernacle, or, in otheic 
■words, continue in this blessed situation. How- 
ever I was not allowed to abide long here ; for 
as he was instructed to ]iea,r the beloved Son of 
God, so it was given me to see, if ever I be- 
came of that happy number, I also must hear 
Him who " endured the cross, despising the 
shame ;"*' and must experience a willmgness 
wrought in my heart, to fill up my measure of 
sufferings for the precious cause. 

Soon after this time, I was permitted to share 
largely in the gospel labours of several of the 
Lord's anointed messengers; who were wonder- 
fully led to minister to my state, and proved 
that they were commissioned to preach the gos- 
pel of glad tidings to such as were seeking a 
city that hath foundations ; Avhich I humbly trust 
was my situation. Among those who were thus 
made helpful to my poor soul, was my beloved 
friend William Matthews, of York Town, 
Pennsylvania, whose fatherly attention and no- 
tice, in so needful a season, will ever render 
the remem]jrance of him dear to me ; while pre- 

* Heb. xii. 2. 


servatlon is mercifully granted to abide faithful 
to the requisitions of a gracious Creator. 

When my mind became thus far awakened, 
and was seeking a better and more enduring 
substance than had heretofore been my experi- 
ence, oh ! how was my soul often contrited 
before my heavenly Father, both in meetings 
and retirement at home ; and he very frequently 
caused my cup to overflow, so that my heart was 
melted into such a state of humiliation before him 
for past offences, as to enable me frequently to 
cry unto him, that his eye might not spare, until 
all within me was brought into subjection unto 
his divine will. At this time I was favoured to 
receive much comfort in reading the Holy 
Scriptures, which I often took up when alone, 
to my consolation and encouragement. Then, 
deeply did I lament that any of my preci- 
ous time had been spent in perusing publica- 
tions of an unprofitable tendency; such as plan's 
and romances; and I was made sensible that 
nothing I had ever been in the practice of, had 
so much alienated my mind from the love and 
fear of God, or led me so far from the simpli- 
city of the pure truth, as books of this kind. 
How often did I wish I could warn the whole 


Morld of their pernicious effects, and especially 
the young people in our own society. Penning 
this remark brings to my remembrance, how, 
iii an instant, I was entirely weaned from ever 
desiring again to look into a book of this de- 
scription. It was by a few words expressed by 
a beloved friend, when I was about reading to 
her one night after we got up stairs, and were 
retiring to bed. She queried with me, and I be- 
lieve under divine influence, " Dear ISiary, is 
such a subject likely to profit us upon our pil- 
lows ?" The question so forcibly struck my 
mind, that I very willingly laid down the volume, 
and, 'to the best of my remembrance, I never 
more read a page in that, or any thing of the 
like kind. I have often thought those few 
words were indeed " like apples of gold in 
pictures of silver."* 

In the fourth month of the year 178G, my 
dear father was removed from us by death, after 
an illness of several months ; during which time 
my mind Mas often favoured with the conso- 
lating presence of Him, who is strength in 
weakness to his dependant children. This ena- 
bled me to pass through that trying dispensa- 

* PROV. XXV. 11. 


tion in a manner I could not have expected ; yet, 
after the final close of my beloved earthly pa- 
rent, it pleased my heavenly Father to try me 
with the loss of spiritual enjoyment also ; and, 
for a long time, my poor mind was often in a very 
distressed situation, " Tossed with tempest, and 
not comforted."* Indeed this was a time of 
sorrow both within and without ; fo? that day 
nine weeks on which my father expired, my dear 
sister Elizabeth Alexander, my brother Samuel's 
wife, breathed her last, and left a disconsolate 
husband and four tender children, besides many 
otiier near connections, to mourn her loss. 

Thus bereaved of beloved relatives, my bro- 
ther William and myself agreed to continue to- 
gether in our father's house; and my brother 
Samuel was favoured with the company and 
assistance of his wife's aunt, Mary Guruey, 
who, from that time, resided with him and his 
dear children. I believe she was made a bles- 
sing to many of us, while we were permitted to 
have her society amongst us; which was till the 
autumn of the year 1788, when, after having 
been out several weeks on religious service, she 
was taken ill at her cousin Joseph Cockfield's, 
at Upton, and, in a few days, departed this life, 
* Isaiah liv, 11. 


I fully believe, in peace with her God, having 
spent her last days in advocating his holy cause.* 

Though a little out of the order of time, I 
may here observe, that on the 7th of 6th month, 
1787, was my final parting with William Mat- 
thews and Rebecca Wright, gospel messengers 
of peculiar good to my mind. 

To return to my own situation : My poor 
mind was long kept in a state of great inward 
want, and I was sometimes ready to conclude 
my God had forgotten to be gracious. In such 
seasons, I have been willing to offer up all unto 
him and his service, so that I might again taste 
of his goodness : and, in this time of trial, I did 
give up many things which I believed he called 

AVhilst in this situation, I had sometimes to 
believe, that if I stood faithful, it would be re- 
quired of me publicly to espouse that pure 
Cause, which, notwithstanding all my exercises, 

* Among the extracts from letters, added to Sarah 
Gnibbs journal, is one peculiarly descriptive of this our 
valued relative.— Dated 12ih Montb, 1788. See p. 389. 
?nd Edit. Epitor. 


.1 could feel Mas more precious to me than the 
increase of any outward comforts; but the re- 
moval of my before-mentioned beloved friend, 
Mary Gurney, at such a juncture, was so great 
a trial of my faith and confidence, that I was 
almost ready to conclude it would now be im- 
posssible for me ever to break through; though 
I did earnestly covet resignation to the divine 
will tlierein. In this situation of mind I attended 
her burial, and though, I believe, at her grave, I 
might have publicly boriie testimony of my be- 
lief in her happy change ; yet, as I did not wil- 
fully disobey what, I have since apprehended 
•was a diviiie intimation, I did not feel much 
■condemnation. It was some mondis after this 
before I again felt as much as I did at that time ; 
yet, frequently was I in great doubt and uueasi- 
iiess, often feeling, as I thought, something to 
<ommunicate, when in religious opportunities ; 
but fearing I should begin in the great work of 
public ministry, before the right time, I withiield 
speaking. At other times, both at meetings 
and at home, both by day and by night, I was 
under very great .exercise lest I should be en- 
lirelv mistaken, and that what I felt should not 
be any right call to the ministry, 


This was my situation one niglit in the begin- 
ning of the year 1789, when, after having lahi a 
considerable time in close exercise of spirit, a 
light whined round my bed, and 1 heard a voice 
intelligibly say; " Thou art appointed to preach 
the Gospel." Immediately the light disap- 
peared, and I was left in an awful, thankful 
frame of mind ; esteeming it an intimation 
granted by Him, who alone knows the deep 
conflicts of spirit I then experiftnced, lest I 
should engage in liis <:ause without his com- 
mand. Yet, even after this mark of divine con- 
descension to my poor doubting mind, behig sin- 
cerely desirous of abiding the full time in the 
furnace preparatory for so important a work, it 
was many weeks before I opened my lips, in 
what I considered the work of the ministry. The 
lirst time, was in the fifth month of this year, in 
a religious opportunity in my brother Samuel's 
family, I believe, in nearly the following words : 
" When Peter in his vision, wherein he saw the 
sheet let down from heaven, with that great va- 
riety of living creatures, and heard a voice com- 
manding him to kill and eat, refused fearing he 
should do wrong in so doing; he, after his re- 
fusal, heard the voice again saying unto him. 
What God hath cleansed or sanctified, that call 
^lot thou common.'^ 


After I had uttered these sentences, my 
soul was filled with tiie incomes of heavenly 
consolation to such a degree, as 1 never before 
had experienced, which I humbly received as a 
token of Divine approbation for my evening's 
sacrifice. Indeed so quiet and peaceful was my 
mind for many days after, that I was ready to 
conclude '^ the bitterness of death was past ;"* 
that I never again should feel the distressing 
eonfiicts which Ihad long endured; and that my 
having thus far surrendered my will to the di- 
vine will, would be accepted, and I never again 
might feel a necessity of the like nature. But 
I soon felt a similar engagement in meetings, 
though not with as much clearness and strength 
as that evening, and therefore did not venture 
to speak until it was equally strong. 

About ten weeks after the before-mentioned 
time, on the first day of the week, and 26lh of 
the 7th month, 1789, in our forenoon meeting, 
I felt a very powerful intimation to stand up 
and express a few words, and put out my hand 
to lay hold of the seat which stood before me ; 
but even then I drew back my hand and gave 
it up ; for which I felt much more condemnation 
* 1 Sam.. XV. Si;. 
c C 


than I ever had done before under like circum- 
stances; and ^vent home in very great distress 
of mind, which I feared I should not be able to 
. conceal from my brother William uhile I sat at 
dinner with him. "Whether he did discover my 
situation or not, I cannot tell ; but as soon as the 
table cloth Mas removed, I retired to my chamber, 
and there made covenant with Him, whom I sor- 
rowfully felt I had offended by my omission, that 
if He would be mercifully pleased to try me in 
the afternoon, with some new opening, I would 
give up; fearing, if it were the same as in the 
morning, that I might move too much from 
any own feelings at that time, williout a suf- 
ficient renewal of life. And, oh ! the unspeakable 
condescension of a gracious Creator, when he 
sees the integrity of the heart. I had not been 
.seated many minutes in meeting, before the pe- 
tition of Caleb's daughter was brought so forci- 
bly, with such clearness, and in such a confirm- 
ing manner before me, that I could not doubt 
its being given me for communication : but it 
was so early in the meeting, 1 thought I must 
endeavour to bear my burden awhile, yet 'ear- 
nestly begged I might be enabled to speak in 
the right time. "While I was under these auful 
impressions, a friend got up, and had a lively 


opportunity, though f knew not much of what 
he said; for indeed my Own exercise at that time, 
seemed all I could attend to. As soon as he 
sat down, I stood up and began with the before- 
mentioned petition : " Thou hast given me a 
south land; give me also springs of water/' and 
after commenting a little upon it, I sat down 
full of peace. 

This was twelve or thirteen years after I first 
saw a prospect of receiving a call to the minis- 
try, as I sat in a meeting at Woodbridge ; and 
after this, which I then apprehended to be a 
clear intimation of the divine will concerning 
me, it was some years before I had any further 
serious impressions respecting it. The transi- 
tion from tribulation to joy \^ hich my mind ex- 
perienced on my return home, from the aftei"- 
noon meeting, was such as led me to crave of 
my heavenly Father, that he would be pleased 
to grant me ability to follow him faithfully in 
the way of his holy requirings, from time to 
time. For some weeks after my soul was often 
enabled secretly to praise the Lord, as on the 
banks of deliverance ; which encouraged me to 
hope, notwithstanding all my foregoing omi|»> 
sions; that He who sees the bent and intent o^" 
c 3 


every heart, knowing my exceeding great fear of 
going too fast, had passed by my offences, and 
■was now confirming to my mind, that to serve 
him without reserve, was the way to ensure 
comfort here, as well as everlasting happiness" 
hereafter. Indeed I fully believe, that while it 
is really a solid fear of running before the Lord 
sends, which keeps back any sacrifice he is call- 
ing for, especially in this important work, there 
is less danger in trying the fleece again and 
again, than in running too hastily forward; even 
when a living engagement is felt: but to be pre- 
served from erring on either hand, is a blessing 
which can be witnessed only while the mind is 
eno-aged to keep near to its only sure director,, 
the unerring principle of Truth, and submits ta 
be unreservedly guided thereby. 

From such considerations, I have often felt 
thankftdness raised in my heart, that while my 
Blind was under the weighty exercises which 
preceded my appearance in the ministry, and 
which I believe some of my feeling friends,^ in 
the vision of light, were permitted to behold, 
that they used such great caution in intimating 
the subject to me, as seldom to give me reason 
to suppose they had any apprehension of my 


real situation. I believe that minds thus cir- 
cumstanced, are better left to the guidance of 
Him who begins the work, to carry it on, 
and bring forth fruit in his own season ; even 
though, through fear or care, a state of jeopardy 
may be somewhat prolonged ; rather than any 
injudicious interference of others, should bring 
the poor tribulated soul out of the preparatory 
furnace, before the appointed baptisms are ful- 
filled. I am fully aware, that the doubting 
mind may sometimes be rightly encouraged to 
obedience, by the countenance of those who 
have had larger experience of the great Master's 
dealings with his humble and tiuly-dependant 
followers ; but I believe, beyond all doubt, that 
a much greater number have suffered by bein^ 
injudiciously drawn forth, before the full ac- 
complishment of all the dispensations which the- 
Lord sees meet for them to pass through. 



1790 to 12th Month, 1793. 
Her condition after appearing in the ministry. — Visit to 
a friend. — Acknowledged as a minister. — Visit to 
families at Woodbridge and Ipswich. — Korwich 
Quarterly Meeting. — Deep exercises of mind. — Bec~ 
cics JSIonthly Meeting. — Bury Monthly Meeting.—* 
IVoodbridge Monthly Meeting. 

In the course of the first twelve months after 
I opened my mouth in meetings, I was permit- 
ted to experience many different dispensations. 
Some of them Avere seasons of very great deser- 
tion of all good, which led me often to a close 
searching of heart, to know whether I kept pace 
■with my heavenly Guide, or wheiher I ran be- 
fore or staid behind him in my little religious 
jnovements. I tliink it was not often that my 
heart condemned me; but when it did, it was 
for omission rather than for commission : and, 
oh ! how did my soul often covet the blessing 
of resignation to the divine will, that 1 might 
be enabled to endure all the turnings and over- 
turnings of his holy hand upon me; so that I 
might be thereby prepared to accomplish the 
work he should be pleased to assign me, in his 
hv use and family; if worthy to be esteemed the 
smallest of his dedicated servants* 


In the autumn of tliis year, 1790, for many 
weeks, at times, I was brouglit into a secret 
engagement, and I trmst I may say, according 
to my measure, travail of soul, on account of a 
friend in this county who, I fully believe, had 
been an anointed minister of the gospel; but 
through unwatchfulness, his brightness was much 
eclipsed. At length my feelings were so closely 
arrested, as to lead me to apprehend I should 
not get clear of the exercise I felt on his ac- 
count, without going to pay him a visit, though 
many miles distant ; which I made known to my 
brother Samuel, who kindly accompanied me, in 
the forepart of the 12th month. Although I 
know not that the visit availed much to the indi- 
vidual ; yet I was favoured with strength to re- 
lieve my own mind, and came home in peace. 

1791. In the fourth month of this year, I 
was recommended to our select monthly meet- 
ing as a minister in unity. This circumstance 
brought a very heavy exercise over my mind, 
fearing friends had not had sufficient proof of 
my religious movements, to warrant their no- 
ticing me after this manner ; and earnest were 
my cries to Him, who I humbly hoped had put 
uie forth in so a^vful a vocation; that he would 


be pleased to grant such a portion of the l)Ies- 
sing of preservation, as to enable nie to move for- 
ward without bringing any dishoiiour on his pure 
cause. And oh ! may a care of this sort, be ever 
the attendant of my mind, under all the various 
dispensation of an unerring Providence ; seeking 
more and more after ability, so to steer along 
through this probationary state, as that " neither 
principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor 
things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any 
other creature, may be able to separate" my 
poor soul " from the Love of God which is in 
Christ Jesus our Lord."* Such a care is need- 
ful to preserve, from time to time, in unreserved 
obedience to a?l His divine requisitions. 

In the eleventh month this year, I visited, la 
company with a committee of our monthly 
meeting, the families of friends in Woodbridge ; 
and though it was not much that was required 
of me, yet, in a few families, I felt my heart en- 
larged in gospel love, beyond what I had here- 
tofore experienced; and in the close was fa- 
voured to feel solid satisfaction. Some of the 
committee being about to engage in a similar 
visit at Ipswich, a week or two after, I thought 
* Rom. viii, 38, 39. 


I felt it my duty to unite \\ith them again; yet, 
many were my fears lost I should be mistaken 
in my feelings, thinking that possibly what I 
then felt, might arise only from a degree of sym- 
pathy with some of my beloved friends of the 
committee ; and, not being one myself, it seemed 
to require a clearer evidence than if 1 had been 
under the appointment, though it was left open 
for any friend of the monthly meeting to join, 
who felt the weight of the service. For one 
so little experienced in the important work to 
make a second attempt, under such circum- 
stances, I thought would be looked upon to be 
rather forward ; and indeed I sometimes feared, 
that my getting through at Woodbridge with a 
good degree of satisfaction, might too readily 
encourage me to go forth again, without a suf- 
ficient commission from Him who putteth forth 
liis own, and goeth before them. Therefore I 
coveted permission to try the tleece bodi wet 
vand dry, which 1 think was mercifully granted ; 
and I joined my friends in a humble hope, that 
whether it should please my great and gracious 
Master to employ me in advocating his precious 
cause, or permit me silently to visit the pure 
seed in the hearts of his people, I might be 
able to say in sincerity^ " Thy will be done." 


Abundant cause have 1 to acknowledge the 
goodness of an All-powerful Creator, who 
proved himself to be strength in my weakness, 
•and granted the riches of his love to be emi- 
nently shed amongst us, in divers families ; 
whereby he mercifully evinced that he was both 
able and willing to be unto his dependant chil- 
dren, a present help in the needful time. A 
portion of that peace which surpasseth every 
other consideration, was felt in my return home ; 
and raised a tribute of thankfulness in my heart 
unto Him, to whom I desire ever to render the 
praise of his own works. 

In the latter end of this year, in company 
with my brother Dykes Alexander and two 
other friends, I attended Norwich quarterly 
uieeting; and though we were not permitted- to 
experience any great aboundings of heavenly 
good ; yet I tiust we were strengthened by the 
Shepherd of Israel, to visit the oppressed seed 
in captivity in that city. After the meeting 
closed, on fourth day afternoon, the 28th of 
IGth month, we left the place in peace, and 
went to Yoxford that night. The next morning 
we went to \^'oodbridge, and attended the burial 
of our mucli-valued fiiend, ]\Jartha Steward; 


there that day ; in the evening went to Ipswich ; 
and on sixth day morning I came to Needham. 

For some weeks after my return home, my 
mind was, at times, richly replenished with the 
incomes of my heavenly Father's love, so that 
I could indeed " rejoice in the Lord, and joy in 
the God of my salvation."* But, alas! when 
a very different dispensation was permitted, 
which w as my experience by far the greater part 
of the year 1 792, then, oh then ! I found it hard 
work, and many times altogether impossible to 
acknowledge with the prophet, that " although 
the fig-tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit 
be in the vines : the labour of the olive shall 
fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flocks 
shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall 
be no herd in the stalls: yet I will rejoice in 
the I^ord, I will joy in the God of my salva- 
tion."]: Fully convinced I vvas of the truth of 
David's declaration, where he says, "Thy people 
shall be willing in the day of thy power :f and, 
in that day only, I saw it was that the poor 
frail mind could be brought into a state of 
resignation, to receive its appointed portion of 
suft'ering for the precious cause sake. Yea, I was 

* Hab. jii. 18. t, Bab. iii. 17, 18, t Psax. qx. 3. 


sometimes mercifully enabled to see, in this time, 
M'hei-ein all sensible refreshment was withheld 
from my soul, that great caution was necessary 
not to meddle with any forbidden fruit, or set 
up any graven image in the absence of my spi" 
ritual Moses. 

Sometimes, in the anguish of my heart, I have 
Ijeen strengthened to cry unto Him who know- 
cth the secrets of all hearts, " Though thou slay 
me, yet will I trust in thee :"* And in such sea- 
sons it has been shown me, I trust, in the vision 
of light, that if evei' I knew a full release from 
the present bondage, it must be by going back 
to the place I had once left in peace, even to 
the city of Norwich, and there visit my friends, 
from house to house ; though I might thereby 
become a " spectacle to angels and to men." | 
This was indeed humiliating to the natural 
part ; yet I can honestly say that my mind was 
many times brought into a state of resignation 
thereto, if I might but be favoured to have a 
suitable companion in the work; and, after 
many months of close exercise, I believed this 
would be granted, when the full time should 
come to enter upon the engagement. Here I 
* Job xiii. 15. + 1 Coh. iv. 9, 


%vas permitted to leave the subject for a while, 
and my mind became, iiv some degree, relieved ' 
from its former exercises j so that I was enabled 
to engage in some little services at and about 
home. This I esteemed a mercy granted by my 
heavenly Father, having " lain long among tlie 
pots,"* cast off and useless, and often been ready 
to query, " Can these bones live f ":j: 

About this time, at our summer quarterly 
meeting, held atWoodbridge, in the 6th month, 
1793, three other friends from the women's 
meeting, and myself, were appointed to visit the 
monthly meeting of Beccles, and the prepara- 
tive meetings constituting it. A committee of 
men friends having been previously nominated 
to visit all the monthly meetings in the county> 
some of them united with a part of our com- 
iiiittee to Beccles, in the 8th month following. 
My friends Hannah Evens and Martha Brew- 
ster, were my female companions ; and we 
were favoured to get through beyond our own 
expectation ; yet, after my return home, I did 
not feel that evidence of divine acceptance 
wliich had sometimes been my experience, at the 
close of a little act of dedication. I was how- 
* PsAL, Ixviii, 13, t EzEK, xsxvij. 3, 

D 2 


ever desirous of dwelling quietly in this 
condition, believing that when He who knows 
best what is best for us, is pleased so to favour, 
he can yield the desired confirnxation of peace ; 
and to be kept in a stiate of waiting, is often a 
profitable, though to the creaturely part, a 
humbling dispensation. Therefore, when it is 
consistent with the great Master's will to with- 
hold the precious proof of acceptance, for any 
little acts of obedience, it is most assuredly his 
servants' duty to seek after submission to him, 
and ability to trust in his infinite wisdom for the 
food convenient; remembering the counsel of 
the good Counsellor, where he says, " When ye 
shall have done all those things which are com- 
manded you, say, We are unprofitable servants : 
we have done that which was our duty to do."* 

As the committee of men friends had not, 
previously to our quarterly meeting, held in th^ 
9th month, proceeded in their visit further than 
with us, it appeared most satisfactory to the 
women's meeting to contmue our committee, 
which some of us willingly acquiesced with, 
not feeling our minds rightly liberated from the 
work ; and we w ere left at liberty to unite with 
the men's committee in all, or any part of tk< 
* Luke xvii. 10. 


remaining engagement, as way might open for 
it. In the 1 1th month we went through tlie 
monthly meeting of Bury : no small addition to 
the weight of the prospect to me, was the loss- 
of the company of my beloved friend Martha 
Brewster, who was at that time very unwelL 
My female companions were my friends Hai>- 
nah Evens and Anna Perry, and we, as well as the 
men friends, were all of us striplings ; yet 1 be- 
lieve we were favoured to experience the mark 
of discipleship, in that we had love one to ano- 
ther ; and we were enabled to move on harmo- 
niously together. In the close of our visit we 
were favoured to feel a degree of that sweet 
quietude of mind which is not at our command ; 
and, therefore, I trust, it might be received as a- 
token of divine acceptance; and some of ouF 
hearts were filled with thankful admiration, for 
the goodness and gracious condescension of our 
Heavenly Helper. 

In the 12th month we went through Wood- 
bridge monthly meeting, ended our mission 
peacefully, and carried a written report of our 
proceedings to the next quarterly meeting, hel4 
the seventeenth of the same month. 

D 3 



1st Month, 1794, to lOtb Month, 1795. 

T^isits Norwich, SfC. — Decease of an intlkidual at 
Needham. — William Bleckley's decease.-— Burial of 
M. Crowley. — Cambridgeshire and Huntingdon- 
shire—Lincolnshire, and York quarterly meeting. 

Very soon after the close of the visit to the 
monthly meetings, &c. my mind became again 
deeply impressed with the before-mentioned 
prospect of visiting the families of friends at 
Norwich ; and with such an increased weight, 
that I believed the time for entering into that 
engagement was dra\ving nigh. Ardently did I 
crave of my Almighty Father that he would be 
pleased to guide me in every step that I took 
concerning it, and to give me some undoubted 
evidence of the right time to move therein, and 
of my right companion in the work. And I 
think I did repeatedly see, when my mind, I 
humbly trust, was brought in some degree vm- 
der his instruction, that I was to unite with a 
friend herein, who about this time had a certi- 
ficate from York monthly meeting, for visiting 
the cities of Norwich, London, and Bristol. I 
laid my prospect of visiting the families of 


friends at Norwich, before our monthly meet- 
ing in the beginning of the first month, 1794, 
and obtained the concurrence of my friends for 
the same. 

On 3d day, the 21st of the 1st month, we 
commenced our visits in that place, by having 
sittings in two families. The next day we at- 
tended the burial of a young man at Tasburgh, 
which proved a solemn meeting ; and I believe, 
to some minds, it was an instructive and aw- 
fully awakening time ; a day wherein the invi- 
tation of the spirit of Christ, was renewed plen- 
teously and preciously, to some who had long 
been halting as between two opinions. 

We dined at Thomas Broadbank's, and re- 
turned to Norwich in the afternoon, where we 
had two sittings more that evening. If ever I 
knew what it was to be " baptized for the 
dead,"* I think I did experience it in the course 
of my visit through this place. It was a season 
of very close exercise. Sometimes I was shut 
up in silence for several sittings together, in 
great poverty of spirit; and sometimes when 
utterance was granted, but little relief was ob- 
* 1 Cor. XV. 29. 


tained ; so that I was ready often to doubt 
whether all that I had ever felt, concernmg this 
engagement, was not a delusion of the great ad- 
versary of mankind : Yea, I was fearful lest I 
had put my hand unbidden to the Lord's work, 
and, Uzzah like, might fall a victim to the dis- 
pleasure of an offended Creator. But, blessed 
be the name of Israel's God, and 1 humbly trust 
my holy Leader, when I had filled up such a por- 
tion of sufi;ering for his pure seed's sake, as he^ 
saw meet to appoint, he was pleased to say, " It 
is enough,"* and, " to proclaim liberty to the 
captive ; and the opening of the prison to that 
which was bound."^; Then I was, in some families, 
enabled to tell of the Lord's gracious dealings 
with my soul, thereby endeavouring to persuade 
others, to inlist under the banner of the Lamb^. 
who is also " the lion of the tribe of Judah, the 
root of David, "f who was found worthy, and still 
is, " to take the book, and open the seals 
thereof." Thus, notwithstanding all the pro- 
bationary seasons allotted me in this city, the 
supporting and sustaining arm of never-failing 
power, was experienced to be near, at times, to 
my humbling admiration ; and, on leaving the 
place, I was permitted to receive a little por- 
* 2 SaMo xxiv. 16. * Isaiah Ixi. 1. t Rev. v. 5»- 


tion of " the oil of joy for mourning, and the 
garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness."* 

At different times, whilst we were at Nor- 
wich, we visited three neighbouring meet- 
mgs, besides the burial before mentioned, viz. on 
first day the 2d of the second month, Wymond- 
hani ; Lammas week day meeting on fourth day 
the 5th; and Lammas monthly meeting, held 
at North Walsham, on second day the tenth of 
the same month. 

We left Norwich on fourth day, the 1 2th of tlie 
2d month, and went to Tasburgh. On fifth 
day, the 13th, my brother William met us at 
Tasburgh, and we all attended the monthly meet- 
ing there. Next day, the 14th, we had meet- 
ings at Tivetshall and Diss. On seventh day, 
the 15th, my companion, my brother W. A. 
and myself, went to Beccles; and visiting the 
meetings of friends at Pakefield, Leiston, Wood- 
bridge, and Ipsvv'ich on our way, we arrived, 
on fifth day the 20th of the second month, 
at Needham, in time for the week day meeting. 
On the 21st and 22d my companion and myself 
having felt a little engagement to sit with some 

* Isaiah Ixi, 3, 


of the families constituting this meeting, we 
proceeded, and were favoured to feel satisfac- 
tion in our movements therein ; and had to be- 
lieve, it was a time of renewed visitation of 
heavenly goodness to some minds, who had been 
long called to work in the Lord's vineyard ; the 
vineyard of their own hearts. 

After visiting a few meetings in Essex, my 
brother William and myself returned home, 
where I was favoured to receive a peaceful 
release from the little field of exercise and 
labour which I trust had been by divine ap- 
pointment allotted me. And, at times, I felt, 
gladness of heart, that I had been permitted to 
suffer with the pure suffering seed ; and could 
say, with the psalmist, " Gracious is the Lord 
and righteous ;, yea, our God is merciful. The 
Lord preserveth the simple: I was brought low, 
and he helped me."* 

First day, the 30th of third month. This was 
an awful day to me. It was the final close of 
poor ■ He was once of our society, and 

my mind had often deeply felt on his account, be- 
lieving the Lord had long been inviting him, to- 

* PsAL, cxvi. 5, 6. 


■*' give diligence to make his calling and elec- 
tion sure,"* before the solemn message was sent 
unto him of, " Thou shall die, and not live.":!; 
And thankful I was, that we had attended to 
the little pointing of duty, in stepping into some 
families here, after our return from Norwich ; 
believing, to this poor man, it was permitted to 
be a season of peculiar visitation from the Most 
High ; and it appeared to dwell with him to his 
«nd; which was about live weeks afterwards. 
He was ill only two days. His wife remarked, 
after his removal, that from the time of our 
visit, he had appeared quite an altered man ; 
very solid and thoughtful ; and that she had several 
times found him in his chamber with his bible, 
-a circumstance which, I think she said, she had 
never before observed. When I called at his 
house, a little after he expired, I did believe^ 
from the precious quiet I was permitted to feel, 
that his spirit was received into rest, which 
liumbled my soul, and all within me, before 
Him, whose " tender mercies are over all his 
^vorks."t At the burial we were favoured with 
a solemn meeting. 

In the twelfth month this year, I attended 

the interment of our friend William Bleckley, 

* 2 P£T, i. 10. i 2 Kings xx. 1. t Psal. cxlv. 9, 


of Long Stratton, in Norfolk. It was a time 
of divine favour; many hearts M'ere humbled, 
and greatly lamented the church's loss, in the 
removal of one, who was engaged to maintain 
the law and the testimony given to us, as a 
people, to support. I was with him several 
times within the last few months of his life, at dif- 
ferent meetings, which were seasons of solid satis- 
faction to my mind at the time, and I could now 
review them with comfort. Much did I desire 
that those who felt their loss in his removal, 
and particularly his near relatives, might be 
willing to follow him as he had endeavoured to 
follow Christ. I believe it was a day of merci- 
ful visitation to several of his beloved offspring ; 
who, I trust, have since been made sensible of 
the truth of David's declaration where he says : 
" A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the 
widows, is God in his holy habitation."'* 

1795. In the forepart of this year, in com- 
pany with two of my brothers, I attended the 
burial of my beloved friend Mary Crowley. 
She departed this life on the 17th of the second 
month ; and was interred after a meeting at 
Pevonshire-House, London, in friends' burial 

* PsAL, Ixviii, 5. 


ground, near Bunhill-Fields, on the 24th of the 
same month. After my return home, though 
it was not a journey which I cpnsidered in the 
line of religious duty; yet it was one, I could 
look back upon with a peaceful calm, and with 
thankfulness to the great Author of every com- 
fort; rejoicing that I endeavoured to pay the 
last tribute of affection to an endeared friend, 
removed a little before me, from the conflicts of 
time, I humbly hope, to the joys of eternity. 

Soon after my return from the above-men- 
tioned journey, my mind became, at times, 
closely brought into exercise, under the re- 
newal of a prospect, of visiting the meetings of 
friends in the quarterly meeting of Cambridge- 
shire and Huntingdonshire ; accompanied w ith 
a belief, that the time was drawing near, in 
■which I must confess it to my friends, and re- 
quest dielr concurrence; and that without any 
knowledge of a companion. This increased 
the weight of the prospect; but before I had 
opened the subject to any one, our friends Ann 
Tuke and Rachel Fowler, came into this coun- 
ty, on a religious visit; the latter expecting to 
leave Ann after attending our quarterly mect- 



ing, and that for Norfolk and Norwich, in the 
sixth month this year. Finding that A. T.'s 
prospect was to go from these counties directly 
into Cambridgeshire and Huntingdonshire, way 
opened with satisfactory clearness for me to 
propose uniting with her. Accordingly I laid 
my pros|7ect before our monthly meeting, and 
obtained the concurrence of my friends to join 
her through that quarterly meeting, and else- 
where as way might open. 1 met her at Bury 
on the 13th of the 7tli month; and accompanied 
her to some meetings in this county, both among 
friends, and, in some places, where the inhabi- 
tants were generally invited. In Cambridge- 
shire and Huntingdonshire, we visited all the 
meetings of friends ; we also had many meetings 
in different places with people of other persua- 
sions; amongst whom we met with many well- 
disposed, serious, seeking minds. 

After we got through that quarterly meeting, 
not seeing my way clear to return home, I 
continued with my beloved friend through 
Lincolnshire; where we visited all the meetings 
of friends, and had many public meetings, as in 
the other counties. Vv'e afterwards continued 
together to York, m here my brother William met 


me, and we staid llie quarterly meeting there iii 
the 9th month; and, widi A.Tuke, visited a few 
meetings in that county. We" also attended the 
marriage of Joshua and Elizabeth Wheeler, on 
our return to York ; after wliich my brother 
and myself left York again, Henry and Ann 
Take accompanying m to Lincoln quar- 
terly meeting ; where we parted. They re- 
turned to York, and we came home, where we 
arrived on seventh day tlie 10th of tenth month, 
and were favoured to meet our connexions 

Tliankfulness was raised in my heart, for the 
many mercies bestowed by a bountiful giver: 
although many and various were the trials 
permitted to attend me, during this separation 
from my outward habitation. Some were of a 
nature, wherein patience and resignation were 
closely tried, so that I sometimes Vx'as almost 
ready to conclude, I had lost all power of ever 
again experiencing ability, even to lift up my 
eyes to heaven, and crave tlie blessing of pre- 
servation for my own soul. Yet after a dis- 
pensation of this sort, through merciful conde- 
scension, light did sometimes arise out of ob- 
E <2 


scuiity, and the darkness, before experiencet?, 
became as the noon day : so that through al!*, 
at my return home, I eould set up my Ebe- 
nezer and acknowledge, " Hitherto hath the- 
Lord helped nie/'* 

* 4 lAM, *i), If * 



22d of llth Montli, 1795, to the 8th of 2d Monti), 173G-. 

A meeting af Walton — Behenham — Writes to a friend 
impriso7ied on account of titJies. 

Some friends feeling their minds drawn to- 
wards the inhabitants of Walton in this count}' ; 
our monthly meeting appointed a meeting to be 
held there, on first day the 22d of the eleventh 
month this year. It proved a season OM'ned in 
a very precious manner, by the great Master of 
assemblies ; and some of our hearts were bowed 
in humble thankfidness, under a sense of his 
gracious goodness, and returned home in peace. 

J 796. For several of the latter weeks in 
last year, my mind was very closely tried, widt 
an appreliension of its being required of me, to 
have a meeting with the inhabitants of Debeu- 
ham in this county. As the impression ap- 
peared to ripen, it proved a. very weighty cir- 
cumstance to me, not knowing of anv one wlio 
felt a similar concern. I was brought under 
great exercise, lest I should move in this im- 
portant work, in a false zeal, unbidden by the 
great and good Minister of miivstersj and I 
E 3 


earnestly coveted to receive some undoubted 
evidence of its rectitude, before I attempted 
to mention it to my friends. This was merci- 
fully granted; and the day and hour for hold- 
ing the meeting pointed out with such clear- 
ness, that i could not doubt the evidence re- 
ceived. At our monthly meeting, in the first 
month this year, I laid the subject before my 
friends; who affectionately sympathized with 
me in my prospect, and, feeling unit} therewith, 
the men's meeting appointed a committee, to 
provide a suitable place for holding the meet- 
ing in, on the IQth of this, month. The com- 
mittee, with several other friends, accompanied 
me there at the time fixed. My brother Samueii 
and my dear friend Martha Brewster, were of 
the number, and weie fellow-labourers in the 
gospel mission. We were favoured to have an 
open meeting, and I think I may say, parted 
with the people in much good will ; some of 
them, I believe, having been reached, under the 
prevalency of the power of the great Shepherd 
and Bishop of souls. My mind was permitted 
to experience, for some weeks after, a sabbath 
©f rest; which was cause of thankful rejoicing, 
having previously past some time of deep 
«ixiety; yet, I think I was not insensible, under 


this change of situation, of the necessity of 
watching, lest I should take my flight upon the 
sabbath day. I believe that after the mind has 
been sti-engthened to perform any act of dedi- 
cation, which yields a portion of peace, there is 
great need to guard against erring on this hand. 
Yea, surely !' under every dispensation of a gra- 
cious and all-wise providence, there is occasion 
to crave ability to maintain a constant depen- 
dance upon Himj and oa the guidance of his 
good Spirit. 

When at York in the autumn of last year, I 
visited several friends imprisoned, in the castle 
tiiere, for refusing to pay some priests' de- 
mands. Not fully clearing my mind, at that 
time, of the sympathy and solicitude I felt for 
them, and, after my return home, reeeiving an 
acceptable letter from one of their company, I 
wrote an answer ; from which the following is 
an extract, dated the 8th of the 2d month this 

" Dear friend! 

Having frequently felt my mind 
bended towards thyself, and thy companions 
in outward bonds, since 1 passed a little time 
with you in your prison house, it was very grate- 
ful to receive thy token of kind remembrance.. 


It renewed my sympathy towards thyself in 
particular, believing thou art often secretly co- 
veting that the precious cause, for which you. 
suffer, may not be let fall, in the smallest de- 
gree, through unwatchfulness, in any of those 
who have so avowedly espoused it, as to submit 
themselves to be separated from their nearest 
outward connections, rather than bawlk the 
testimony given them to bear to the great Mi- 
nister of ministers; without whose divine aid, 
none can really profit tlie people by their mini- 
stry. And oh ! that all you who have thus given. 
vip your names to reproach, may be willing to 
remember, that there is need to seek after daily 
bread, even in your obscure dwelling ; and to 
feel the sustaining arm of never-failing Power 
to be near, not only to support the mind in a 
cheerful submission to the present trial of faith 
and patience, but also to afford a portion of 
strength to go in and out before the people, 
within the walls of that place. Many of them, 
I am ready to believe, from my past and pre- 
sent feelings, are looking towards your little 
company; and if all are concerned singly to eye 
the captain of our salvation, your suffering may 
tend to the exaltation of the precious name of 
Jesus in the hearts of some of them. I have 
also believed; dear friends, that it is the gracious 


design of our Holy Head, if this is your indi- 
vidual concern, so to sanctify this afflictive dis- 
pensation to some of you, as thereby to enlarge 
your inward acquaintance and communion with 
Himself; yea, to increase your store of durable 
riches and righteousness. And thou, my friend, 
with whom I am particularly corresponding; 
situated as thou art, amidst such a mixture of 
irreligious characters, as inhabit the different 
apartments in your prison ; I make no doubt 
but thy feeling mind is, at times, introduced 
into spiritual bondage ; and perhaps darkness 
may be the covering thereof, in sympathy with 
the pure seed in the hearts of others; and thy 
conflicts and exercises may be many and va- 
rious. Notwitlistanding this may be thy fre- 
quent experience, I trust thou art, at other 
times, admitted to that peaceful retreat, where 
the Lord's table is spread with the dainties of 
his own house, and which is an ample compensa- 
tion for many deep probations. And I believe 
thou wilt be favoured with a continuance of 
the like sustaining power : far truly he is not 
wanting in compassion to his dependmg dedi- 
cated children ; but, unto such, a morsel of 
food will be handed iu due season."* 

* Of this friend, Joseph Brown, there is a very pleasant 
accoiHit ; see Piety Promoted, part 10, by J. G. Bevan, 1810. 




9th Month, 1796, to the 3d Month, 1798. 

Her brother IVilUani'sinayriage, S^-t. — Visits some meet- 
ings in companij uith S.Harrison andS. Birkbcck. — 
Deep conjlict of mind. — Visit to the Principality of 
Wales, 4'C- — Yearly meeting at Welch Pool.i--CoaU 
Irook Dale. — Left her sister Ann at London yearly 
meeting, — Joined her again at Flaistow. — Visits 
Hertfordshire, S)C. — Macclesfield quarterly meeting. 
Wrexhatn in Wales. — Account of their visit to the 
Principality — Melkshajn — is ill there — goes to Ciren- 
cester and returns home, — A dream. — Settles in her 
new habitation. 

In the ninth month this year, 1796, my bro- 
ther William married my beloved friend Ann 
Tuke. Previously to their marriage, they 
kindly proposed my continuing a resident in 
their family after it; but, on considering the 
subject, I felt most easy to decline their affec- 
tionate offer: tliough not without an intention 
of staying with them for some months after 
their union ; which I accordingly did. 

Our friend Sarah Harrison, of Philadelphia, 
accompanied by Sarah Birkbeck, of Settle, in 
Yorkshire, was, in the latter part of this year. 


in our count}'. Besides visiting all the meet- 
ings of friends, she had many among other peo- 
ple, and divers of tlrem where no friends meet- 
ings had been remembered before. Having 
looked towards some of the places with a simi- 
lar prospect, before her coming this way, it was 
relieving to my mind, to have the opportunity 
of accompanying her, and her companion, to 
several of the said meetings; and also to a few 
in Essex. In the third month, 1797, I met 
them again, in Essex, was with them sit two or 
three more public meetings, and was favoured 
in the close to feel peace. 

Very soon after these engagements, my mind 
had to experience much inward want, indeed to 
.pass through a season of deep conflict, and of 
sore exercise; wherein it seemed to me as 
though my soul's enemy was let loose, with an 
unlimited power to buffet me at his will. Never 
had I known my faith and confidence in Infinite 
Goodness so nearly overcome before. Almost 
continually, for several weeks, was my mind in 
a state comparable to being " Tossed with 
tempest, and not comforted,"* and left without 
■iene grain of lively hope, which might have been 
* Isaiah liv. 11, 


as an anchor to the soul. Some of my near 
connexions were sensible that my situation 
was a trying one, yet none knew how bitter was 
the anguish I felt, but He who knows all 
things. My health became impaired, and, at 
times, I was ready to conclude 1 should sink 
away under the exercise 1 felt; though without 
any degree of cheering hope that my sufferings 
would end with my natural life. Could I have 
once believed this, oh ! how should I have co- 
veted such a release. But, peradventure, had 
this belief been experienced, I might have felt less ] 
ability to have sought after patient resignation 
to bear the present trial; though I am fully 
convinced, I was often too apt to cast away 
my confidence in holy help ; and not enough 
careful to abide at all times on . the watch- 
tower; nor always willing enough to stay in the 
ward this whole dark night. Alas ! how hardly 
does the creaturely part bend to suffering. 

During this season of close exercise with me, 
my sister Ann at our monthly meeting in the 
third month, opened a prospect she had, of pay- 
ing a religious visit to the Principality of 
Wales, and counties adjacent. For several 
yearS; I had had a similar prospect; and; some 


months before, had believed we should unite in 
this journey ; yet, now, all former views were 
closed, and I could see no way to move for- 
ward; and earnestly did I covet to be preserved 
from warming myself by the sparks of my own 
kindling, or putting forth my hand unbidden in 
so important a work: yet having passed through 
some very trying seasons, I was made willing 
thereby to be any thing or nothing, so that I 
might again experience, " the Lord to lift up 
his countenance upon me, and give me peace."* 
When I felt any thing like a willingness of this 
sort, oh I how did the cruel accuser endeavour 
to insinuate, that I had already overacted my 
part, in being too forward to lend a hand in 
what I had thought the Lord's work ; and 
thereby had incurred his displeasure, wounded 
my friends, and brought this state of spiritual 
death over my own mind : but boundless mercy 
was pleased now, sometimes to aiford a little 
portion of his calming influence, which, in some 
degree, stilled the boisterous waves and enabled 
me, at times, to look forward with hope, that I 
should again be permitted to experience the 
animating rays of " the Sun of righteousness,^''^ 
to dispel the thick darkness in which my j>oor 
mind had been, and still was enveloped. 
* Numb. vi. 26, * Maj,. jv. 2. 


In this situation I went to our monthly meet- 
ing in the fourth month, where I ventured to 
inform my friends what my former views had 
been, and that within a sliort time they had ap- 
peared to be reviving, but 1 thought them still 
so faint, I desired to cast myself entirely upon 
tliem to judge for me. This I did under a 
greater sense of weakness than I had ever 
opened any thing of the like natur« before; yet 
it so far made its way with the meeting, as to 
get a liberation at that time, for me to visit the 
Principality of Wales, and counties adjacent. 

My sister Ann and myself, left home toge- 
ther, accompanied by my brother William, on the 
l6th of the fourth month, and went to Bury ; in- 
tending for the Welch yearly meeting, to be held 
the following week, at Welchpool, in Mont- 
gomeryshire. On o*.H' way w-e passed through 
Kettering, in Northamptonshire, and Coalbrook 
Dale, in Shropshire, and attended meetings 
there. On third day, the 2jth of 4th month, we 
got to Welchpool; and on fourth, fifth, and sixth 
days was held the yearly meeting there. At the 
close thereof, not seeing our way as we had 
expected, to proceed in our visit to the Princi- 
pality, we concluded to return to Coalbrook 


Dale, and accordingly got back to Shrewsbury 
on seventh day. My sister stopped by the way to 
have a meeting that afternoon, at a small village 
we passed through in going; but, finding myself 
very unwell, and not feeling any thing in my own 
inind for the meeting, I went on ; and left her 
in company with our dear friends Deborah 
Darby, R. Young, and others. 

On first day we attended a morning meeting 
at Shrewsbury, in which I was favoured to feel 
a little strength, to relieve my mind, of an exer- 
cise I had felt for some individuals then present 
whom I had seen, and felt for before at ^V'elch- 
pool. In the evening we had a public meeting, 
which for a considerable time was very exer- 
cising, yet in the close aiforded some satisfac- 
tion. On second day, we came back to Coal- 
brook Dale. Third day, \^ e attended the week- 
day meetuig there, in Mhich neither of us had 
any thing to communicate ; but in the course of 
the meeting 1 thought I saw clearly, that we 
must go from house to house among ihemj 
and, after meeting, I mentioned it to my sister, 
who 1 then found, had had a similar prospect- 

Tliis evening we had a public meeting at a 
Beighbouriug village. From fourth day the 3d 


of the fifth month, to fourth day the 10th of the 
same, in company with our beloved friend 
R. Young, we visited the families of friends in 
the meetings of Newdale and Coalbrook Dale, 
iu which my brother, who was still with us, 
united; and his company and help were very 
acceptable to us. A few sittings I was pre- 
vented attending from indisposition ; and in 
some others I sat uuder great suffering, both of 
foody and mind, so much so that I was, at times, 
ready to doubt the rectitude of my having left 
home ; yet I had, at others, the satisfaction of 
seeing my beloved companions were rightly en- 
gaged, which tended to bear up my drooping 
mind ; having been in some sort the means of 
encouraging them to give up to this service. 
Though, in the performance thereof, I was but 
of little help to them ; yet, in the close, I be- 
lieve none of us had cause to repent giving up 
to what we had apprehended to be a required 
duty. Fifth day the 11 th, I staid at Coalbrook 
Pale, being very unwell ; and my sister had a 
public meeting at a place at a short distance, and 
returned to me after it. 

Sixth day. We had not, either of us, been 
ablQ to come at any satisfactory clearness re^ 


specting our future movements, till this morn- 
ing, when I thought a little light arose in my 
mind, with a pointing towards Cheshire, which 
we were glad to accept. Our dear friends D. 
Darby and R. Young intending to set out this af- 
ternoon, for London yearly meeting,, and having 
appointed a public meeting to be held this even- 
ing at Bridgenorth, we accompanied them there, 
expecting the next day to part with them at 
that place ; and take meetings from thence in 
our way into Cheshire, and so into Wales. But 
my sister not feeling easy to part with them there, 
we went on with them till second day, and 
parted with them at Campden. 

After this we again moved on towards Wales^ 
and for a few days pretty satisfactorily ; till my 
sister's mind became so closely arrested for the; 
approaching yearly meeting to be held in Lon- 
don, that it seemed safest to turn about, and 
endeavour to get there as early as we could, with 
taking meetings in our way.* We arrived iu 

* To be thus led about, and so frequently turned from 
the object at which they were aiming, as was, on several 
occasions, their experience in this journey, proved no small 
trial to my beloved sister; yet, I have reason to believe, 
this humiliating dispensation, was peculiarly and lastiiagly 
F 3 


London two days after the commencement of 
the yearly meeting ; but I did not feel my mind 
at all bound to it, and still found my health, 
at times, much affected, therefore, after staying 
one day in London, I returned home, where I 
passed about 10 days in peace, and found my 
kealth much recruited. 

On second day, the 5th of sixth month, I left 
home again and went to Colchester, where I 
met my brother William, who had parted with 
sister Ann that morning, at or near London, 
and was then on his way home. On third 
day evening I met my sister at Plaistow. 
Sixth day we left the neighbourhood of Lon- 
don, and went into Hertfordshire, agreeably to 
a prospect I had before I left home this time : 
having expected it might be right for us to take 
a few meetings in that county, and from thence 
proceed pretty directly for Wales. But our 
views were again protracted ; for after we got into 
that quarterly meeting, my sister felt her mind 

instrartive to her mind. To move in a feeling of weak- 
ness, and with such a portion of light, as could not reflect 
its beams on dis!aut objects, but only just mark the present 
step with a safe degree of clearness, though very trying to 
the crFature, teacUes tumble and full dependance on the 
Creator, Editor. 


engaged to go through it, and also to visit some 
other of the midland counties; previously to our 
entering Wales. 

Though I did not feel my mind so much 
bound to this prospect, yet I could not see my 
way to leave her ; and therefore thinking it most 
consistent with gospel order, we unitedly ad- 
dressed our mohthly meeting for further creden- 
tials, and obtained the concurrence of our 
friends at home, to proceed as in the openings 
of truth might appear right.* 

After visiting divers counties, on the 13th 
and 14th of the ninth month, we attended the 
quarterly meeting held at Macclesfield, for 
Cheshire and Staffordshire. There we opened 
our prospect of visiting the Principality of 
Wales ; hoping some of our brethren might feel 
bound to accompany us; expecting to be en- 
gaged in public meetings in many parts very 
distant from any friends. And our much- 
valued friend Joseph Storrs, from Chesterfield in 

* Their peculiar situation excited much sympathy in the 
monthly meeting; and being attended with a feeling of 
near unity witli their extended concern, their friends were 
induced to give them such a certificate as would fully liber- 
ate them to any service in this land, Editor, 


Derbyshire, being present, felt a willingness to 
accompany us ; as did two friends of that quar- 
terly meeting, George Jones and Olive Sims, 
who all met us at Chester, on the Q3d. 

On the C5th we entered Wales, at the place 
I had had a prospect of more than four months 
before, when we were at Coalbrook Dale ; and 
that evening had a meeting there, viz. Wrexham 
in Denbighshire. This meeting was large; and 
I believe there was a great variety . of states 
among the people then gathered ; some of whom 
were seriously disposed. Indeed 1 think in the 
future movements through this Principality, in 
a more general way, we met with a larger pro- 
portion of religious, seeking minds, than in most 
of the counties we visited in England. Yet 
many even of those, we had often to fear, were 
too much seeking the living among the dead -^ 
not enough inward in their search after durable 
riches : nor enough acquainted with the one es- 
sential baptism of the Holy Ghost and fire ; 
which, if suifered to operate, would consume 
ail thai is of an unsubstantial nature. However, 
to meet with here and there one who was so 
far submitting to bear the cross of Christ, as to 
become willing to follow him, not only out of 


many of the vanities of the world, but also out 
of many unsubstantial rites and cerenionies, 
and who was seeking him, where alone he is to 
be found, in the secret of the heart; was con- 
soling to our often drooping minds. I trust, 
some there are, who, if they are faithful to the 
day of small things, will, in due time, be made 
rulers over more; know their spiritual borders 
enlarged, and their acquaintance with the be- 
loved of souls increased. That this may become 
their happy experience, is what I often coveted 
when with them, and oft-times since, when fap 
distant from them. 

We were in Wales about eight weeks, were 
in all the counties both of North and South 
Wales; and, besides visiting the few meetings of 
friends, had upwar-ds of forty public meetings, 
many of them in places where it could not be 
remembered that any friends meetings had been 
lield before. We very generally met with 
civil treatment from the inhabitants; and tra- 
velled nearly eight hundred and fifty miles iu 
that mountainous country. 

Soon after we got into Wales, for nearly two 
weeks; at times^ I was very unwell in my health; 


whereby I ^vas prevented attending two public 
meetings on the Isle of Anglesea, and two meet- 
ings of friends on a first day at Llwyndw in Merio- 
nethshire. Here our whole company was de- 
tamed several days at the house of our kind, 
friend Henry Owen, on account of my indispo- 
sition : But after a little rest there, I was enabled 
to go through the remaining part of this 
close travel in good health. INIy dear sister 
was favoured to experience a continuance of 
health during the whole time ; but, near the 
close, she was permitted to know a very trying 
depression of spirits, so much so as nearly to 
disqualify her for any public service, which 
greatly added to my trials: yet I was mercifully 
strengthened to keep up both in body and miiid,, 
to the end of our engagements in that Princi-^ 

When we had finished our visit in Wales, I 
believe, in sympathy m ith her, I soon got into 
the same situation ; so that it seemed safest for 
us to leave a few meetings we had once ex- 
pected to take in Herefordshire, and go di- 
rectly from Leominster, in that county, to Melk- 
sham, in Wiltshire. Our dear brother Samuel 
and his daughter Lucy, were there, on a visit to. 
ills daughter Martha : who a few weeks before had 


l>een married to Tliomas Jeffreys of that place. 
We arrived at their house on first day evening, 
the 26th of the eleventh month. Our kind 
■<:ompanions left us at different times; O. Sutjs 
at Caermarthen in Soutii Wales, on the 30th of 
the tenth month; G. Jones at Leominster, on 
the C3d of the eleventh month ; and J . Storrs 
-after we got to Melksham. '' 

Very soon after we got to Melksham, my mind 
Avas much relieved from the deep depression I 
had felt for som€ days previously to our getting 
there : but my sister was rather longer be- 
fore she experienced the same relief; yet, in a 
few days, she was favoured also to feel the de- 
pression much removed, and a pointing in her 
mind towards Warminster, a place m the neigh- 
bourhood, at which she had missed having a 
public meeting when she was in the county 
a considerable time before. The meeting 
was appointed on sixth day evening, the 1st of 
the twelfth month, Mhich 1 attended, and we 
were accompanied by our dear brother S. A. 
In this meeting and after it, 1 was very unwell. 
We got back to Melksham the next day, where 
I took some suitable medicine; which did not 
afford so much relief as to enable nie to attend 
dieir meeting on tirst dav. 


In the evening my brother finding me more 
unwell, was desirous of my taking some medical 
advice ; which I submitted to for his and the 
rest of my relations' satisfaction. 

That night I was very ill indeed ; sometimes 
I was almost ready to conclude it might be the 
final close of all things here ; especially when I 
considered the deep conflict of mind which 
both my sister and myself had lately experienced ; 
and that my mind had been entirely relieved 
from any further prospect of religious service 
ever since I left Wales ; not only during that 
very trying dispensation, but also now, when fa- 
voured with a very diifeient one; wherein all 
was serenity and peace, t In this situation, had 
it not been for the trial I apprehended it would 
be to my dear niece, Mardia Jeffreys, to have a 
circumstance so awful take place under her 
roof, so soon after her settlement there ; I could 
willingly, yea, I think I may say, gladly have 
exchanged mortality for immortality at that 
time ; if it had been consistent with the good 
pleasure of Him in whom is all power. He is 
able to cause even a sick bed to become plea- 
sant ; yea desirable, if in that situation the poor 
finite understanding is more expanded, and the 


mind more quickened to behold the marvellous 
dealings of an all-wise Creator! This I think I 
can with humble gratitude acknowledge was, at 
times, my experience on this bed of sickness : 
and I was enabled to desire, whether life or 
death should be my portion, that His will 
might be done. However, after a few days 
I got so much better, as to think of moving 
from Melksham, when my brother and sister 
were at liberty so to do, who, during my illness, 
had engaged together in visiting the families of 
friends there. 

After talking an affectionate leave of our kiriS 
r^jlations, who had very tenderly cared for me in 
my illness, we all left their house on fourth day 
tlie 13th, and went to Cirencester in Gloucester- 
shire; where we were kindly received by our 
friends Samuel and Sarah Bowley. The next 
morning my brother Samuel and his daughter 
Lucy, set off for home, aed kft my sister and my- 
self there. Though I was favoured to bear travel- 
ling the day before, twenty-seven miles, with 
less fatigue than might have been expected ; yet, 
a-fter having parted with my brother and niece, 
I was that day very unwell. Continuing so, 
and not feeling any command to go forth again int© 
rhe field of labour; I believed it ^Yas safest foy 


me to decline attending any of the meetings 
in that neighbourhood, with my sister, who 
left me for a few days, and, accompanied by 
Ann Bowley, visited some places adjacent, 
and returned to me again. 

As I did not improve in my health by longei' 
rest, but rather grew weaker, we thought it best 
to inform our relations at home how we were 
circumstanced; and my brother William came to 
us at very «hort notice, intending to continue 
with his wife till she suw her way clear to return 
home. My dear brother and sister D. and H. 
Alexander very kindly came to us in a few days 
after him, intending to accompany me home as 
speedily as my very weak situation would admit 
of my travelling. On fourth day, the 3d of the 
fust month, 1798, my brothers and sisteis, and 
myself, all left Cirencester, where I had been 
very affectionately nursed for three weeks, at 
the house of my kind friends before mentioned, 
and went to Burford. The next day W. and 
A. A. left me there; and the day following, 
accompanied by my brother Dykes and his 
wife, I went twenty -nine miles further on 
my way home. On the 9th we reached 
Walworth, where I was taken more unwell 


again, having rather mended in ti-avelling till 
this time ; and was detained there till seventh 
day the 13th, at the house of our friends 
Richard and Jane Harris; who, with their 
whole family, manifested much afl^ctionate 
kindness, of which I desire ever to retain a 
giateful remembrance. Gn tliird day the lf»h, 
we reached Needham ; M'here my mind was fa- 
voured to partake of a portion of enriching 
peace ; and a tribute of thankful adcno\viedg- 
ment was raised in my heart to the great Dis- 
penser of every g&odv 

^y health gradually improved from this time ; 
yet it was some months before I fully regained 
my usual strength* 

One night while I was 111 at Cirencester, I 
dreamed that I had departed this life, and was 
admitted into happiness; but I met with only 
one whom I knew or had ever known in the 
body, and she, I was told, was just admitted, 
and was to continue there, for she had finished 
her day's work ; but as I had not, I must return 
to the body, and if faithful to what was mani- 
fested from time to time, I should be admitted 
again when the work appointed me to do was 
G a 


fully accomplished. My mind being awfully 
impressed with what had occurred in my sleep, 
in the course of the next day I told it to Saraii 
Bowley. Very soon after, we heard that the 
friend whom I ha<i seen in my dream was very 
dangerously ill ; and, before I got home, I was 
informed of her decease ; and I have no reason 
to doubt but she is admitted into everlasting 
jrest and peace. Oh, that the blessing of pre- 
servation may be my experience, that so the 
place prepared may be happily mine, whea 
tune to me shall be no more ! 

M our monthly meeting in the diird month, 
my sister Ann and myself gave up our certifi- 
cates. And the day following, viz. on fourth 
day the 7th of the third month, 179S, I entered 
into my present habitation ; which was merci- 
fully permitted to be a very peaceful home, for 
some weeks after I first settled therein. 



5tli Month, 1798, to the 11th Month, 1800. 

Xj3ndon yearly meeting. — Sundry meetings in Su folk.-— 
Endures a very trying dispensation.'-— Visits Tivetshall 
monthly meeting, S^c. — Joins Elizabeth Coggeshall in, 
visiting sundry places in Norfolk, Suffolk, Leicester- 
shire, Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, and Yorkshire.— 
Returns home. 

At our monthly meeting in the fifth month, 
i 798, 1 mentioned a prospect I had of appointing 
a few public meetings in my way to or from 
London yearly meeting; in which my sister 
Ann united with me ; and we were liberated 
by our friends, to proceed therein as way might 

In the seventh month, I accompanied my 
brother Samuel in some public meetings on the 
eastern side of our county ; and at the close wa« 
favoured to feel much solid satisfaction. 

Oh ! how has my soul longed that the inhabi- 
tants of this highly-favoured land, even many of 
those who have been made willing, in some 
good degree; to seek the Lord for themselves^ 
G 3 


might become more and more acquainted with 
him, through a willingness to centre unto the 
pure principle placed in t^e secret of theis own 
hearts. Thus thgy might sensibly experience 
the privileges of the glorious gospel dispensa- 
tion; and know an establishment on the un- 
changeable and invincible rock Christ Jesus; 
and then they would also know him to go before 
them, and to be their rearward. 

1799- On the second of the first month this 
year, our friend Sarah Harrison, from America, 
who was then on a religious visit to Europe, 
and who had, a few weeks before, returned 
from-Germany, came to my house, and was 
confined with me, by indisposition, till the 9tk 
of the fourth month following ; except going to 
Ipswich for two days. Great part of the time 
she was much tried, not only with bodily suf- 
fering, but also with spiritual poverty : yet, I 
believe, there were seasons in which she experi- 
enced the Shepherd of Israel, the great Bishop 
©f souls, to arise for her deliverance, whereby 
she was renewedly enabled to praise his holy 
name. I was permitted to be her close cojrf 
paniou in suffering; but not in rejoicing; for, I 
think, from the day after she first came undsa- 


my roof, until the day I parted- with, her at 
Ipswich, I was not once made sensible of the 
smallest degree of divine consolation. Indeed 
such a total cessation, as to any visible appear- 
ance of spiritual life, I have but very seldom 
experienced ; though my mind was not so deeply 
exercised as at some other times. Often did I 
fear, lest I should dwindle into a state which 
might be compared- to that which the church of 
the Laodiceans was described to be in, " neither 
hot nor cold,"* and that consequently I must be 
in danger of receiving the same awful sentence. 
But, just before we parted, which was on the 
Mth of the fourth month, at Ipswich, Lwas 
permitted to know the veil, which had long 
eclipsed the sun of righteousness from my view, 
to be removed ; and ability was mercifully af- 
forded to offer a tribute of thanksgiving and 
praise to the great Author of all good, and to 
implore his divine protection over us when far 
separated ; and I was- favoured to return 
home in peace. Sarah Harrison left Europe 
within a few months, having been from home, I 
think, nearly seven years. 

In the latter part of this year, I was exercised 
for some months, under the weight of a reli-? 
'^ Rev, Hi. 15* 


gious prospect of visiting the families of friends 
in Tivetshall monthly meeting, with some other 
engagements in that neighbourhood ; and, in the 
1st month, 1800, finding my mind more closely ar-» 
rested with this concern, accompanied with what 
I believed a clear intimation of the time to move 
in the same; I ventured to mention it to my 
friends, in the second month, and obtained their 
concurrence to proceed in my visit, as, in the 
pointings of truth, way should open for it. 

On the 12th of the second month, accom- 
panied by my dear brother Samuel, I went ta 
Long Stratton ; the next day attended Tivetshall 
monthly meeting held at Tasburgh, when I 
opened my prospect to friends, and in it found 
much relief. After meeting we went to Thomas 
Broadbank's, whose house was my agreeable 
lodging during my stay in that meeting. Sixth 
day the 14th, my brother Mcnt to Norwich, and, 
accompanied by T. B. 1 began the arduous en- 
gagement in prospect. Seventh day, I con- 
tinued the visit to families, and my brother 
returned from Norwich. First day he staid 
with me, and in the evening I had his company 
very acceptably in two families. Second day 
he left me, and returned home. 


From this time until fifth day the 27thj I was 
closely engaged in going through the remaining 
families in Tasburgh meeting, and those in Ti- 
vetshall. First day, the 2d of third month) I was 
at Tivetshall meeting. Second and third day, I sat 
in the few families constituting Diss meeting. 
Fourth day attended the week-day meeting there, 
and after it, contrary to my expectation, I felt 
full liberty to return home,, which I did that af- 
ternoon. I was favoured with a peaceful ride 
home, and felt thankful for the present unex- 
pected release from further labour. 

The next morning, my mind became renewedly 
exercised concerning the inhabitants of some vil- 
lages where I had been, in the course of the 
family visit ; with a clear prospect when and 
where to appoint the first meeting, though with- 
out any uneasiness at coming home as I did. 
However, I kept my feelings to myself, until the 
day following, and then acquainted my near 
connexions, that I had a prospect of appointing 
a meeting at Yaxley, the next first day evening ; 
which did not appear to be any surprise to 
tliem, they having had reason to expect that 
some further engagements than liad yet taken 
place, might be required of me. Accompanied 


by Thomas Broadbank, my brother Samuel^ 
and other relatives, on first day afternoon^ 
the 9th of the third month, I went to Yax- 
ley, where we were met by several friends of 
Tivetshall monthly meeting, and were favoured 
with a large and solid meeting. After it, T..B.. 
my brother Samuel, and myself, went to Dm. 

Next evening we had a meeting with the in- 
habitants of Scole and Dicklesburg ; and after 
it went to the house of our kind friends John, 
and Ann Holmes. On third day, a meeting, 
at Shottisham, to my own mind, was a very re- 
lieving opportunity, feeling divine support in a>: 
very precious manner to be near, Avhich was 
cause of thankfulness. After it we went to 
Thomas Broadbank's. On fourth day we at- 
tended Tasburgh week-day meeting, which, 
though small, was a relieving and strengthening 
season to my mind. I AAas very unexpectedly, 
in the latter part of the meeting, led to address 
an individual present, whose family 1 had been 
in, when in that meeting before, but did not at 
that time feel any openness to express any thing 
to him; though my mind was closely exercised 
on his account. He was, in this meeting, much 
humbled, and I covet for him that through faith- 


•fulness to known duty, his last days may be hia 
^sest days. 

That evening we had a meeting at Hempnall, 
where was a great variety of states ; a few solid 
people, raid many of a very different description. 
To the latter in a very remarkable manner, the 
extension of divine goodness and mercy was 
evidently manifested, to save them from destruc- 
tion, if there was but a willingness to accept of 
the means of purification. " Come nozc, and 
let us reason together, saith the Lord)"* was 
.awfully sounded amongst them. On fifth day, 
the 13th, we attended Tivfitshall monthly meet- 
ing, which was a season owned by the great 
Master of all riglitly gathered assemblies. 

After the last meeting my brother Samuel 
-and myself returned home in peace. And I 
liave cause to bear in remembrance my heavenly 
Father's goodness, in supporting and carrying 
me through those engagements; having to ac- 
knowledge that although I did go out weeping, 
I was permitted to return with joy. J have 
reason to believe my coming home before I had 
those public meetings was right, in order to have 
Mijj dear brother's company ; yet; if I had seen, 
* Isaiah i. 18, 


before I got home, with clearness, that I was 
to return so soon ; it would, I suppose, have fek 
rather trying in prospect. To be enabled to go 
on day after day, just moving in the present 
ability afforded, without being unprofitably 
anxious to see more of the work at once, than 
is consistent w ith the great Master's will to un- 
fold, I have always found, is not more the duty 
than the interest of his truly dependant servants; 
if I have ever known this happy state of mind : 
though for want of " letting patience have her 
perfect work,"* I have oft-times increased my 
trials and -exercises, I believe beyond what 
might have been designed for me to endure for 
the work's sake. After such feeble efforts to 
promote the cause of truth, what a mercy it is, 
to be favoured with any sensible evidence of 
the approbation of the great Minister of minis- 
ters! Yet Ihumbly trust such was my consoling 
experience in the close of this visit ; and, under 
the humbling influence thereof, 1 was enabled, 
renewedly to acknowledge, " Hitherto hath the 
Lord helped me.'"'^: 

In the eighth month this year, Elizabeth 
Coggeshall, from Newport, Rhode Island, in the 
course of her religious visit to Europe, came io 
* James i, 4. t 1 Sa>i, vii. 12. 

MARY Alexander: 83 

Ncediiam, accompanied by Abigail Pimm of 
London, who left her here and returned home. 
When I first heard of their arrival, and that A. 
Pimm was likely to leave E. Coggeshall immedi- 
ately, it very forcibly impressed my mind, that it 
would be right for me to unite with the latter, in 
some part of her future prospects ; and, before I 
saw her, it was, I apprehended, pretty clearly 
Mianifested to my mind, that I should join hei' 
in Norfolk, and continue with her until she 
reached Yorkshire. This I kept to myself 
wholly, for a few days, while she remained in 
this neighbourhood; and before she left it, I 
found my sister Ann had a prospect of accom- 
panying Elizabeth for the present : but upon 
our opening our vie\\ s to each otlrer, hers ap- 
peared to close wlieie mine began. 

In the ninth month, I informed my friends of 
My prospect of joining our friend E. Coggeshall 
for a while, and received their concurrence. On 
sevendi day, the 6th of this montJi, accompanied 
by my brodier Samuel, I went to Tasburgh. 
]\ext morning, at Wymondham, we met E, 
Coggeshall and my sister Ann ; also my brother 
William, who went to meet his wife a few days 
before. After attending the meeting there, we 


all went to one held at Mattishall in tlie 

After this meeting my brotiier WilHam and 
iiis wife M^jent towards home ; and my brother 
Samuel, E. Coggeshall, and myself, accompanied 
by our friend Thomas Broadbank, went on to 
Dereham. On second day my brother left us, 
and returned home, and Thomas, Elizabeth, 
and myself, went to Holt, where we intended 
having a meeting with friends that evening. 
The friend's house where we were to take up 
©ur quarters, being out of the town, and a con- 
trary way to that which we entered, we were 
obliged to ride quite through it ; and my mind 
became so much interested on account of the in- 
habitants at large, that it did not appear right to 
conceal my prospect from my dear companion, 
and she umting with it, public invitation was 
given, and we had a satisfactory meeting, in which 
v-e were favom-ed with the overshadowing wing 
of divine mercy ; and under the influence thereof, 
ability was afforded to minister to divers states 
and conditions present. The greatest part of the 
public labour devolved upon Elizabeth : but I 
felt my mind in a peculiar manner engaged for 
ihe welfaie of some individual, whO; like the 


prodigal son, had " wasted his substance with 
jiotous living ;"* believing our heavenly Father 
Mas still graciously disposed to receive such a 
one in mercy, if there were a willingness to 
return unto him. At the time I was speaking, 
I had not any knowledge who it was I was ad- 
dressing; but after meeting, I thought I could 
have lain my hand on the head of an individual^ 
and have said, " Thou art the man;";]: but as it 
did not appear a divine requisition so to do, I 
believed it best to leave him to the unflattering- 
witness in his own mind. 

On third day, the 9th, we were at Wells 
monthly meeting ; fourth day, Swaffham week- 
day meeting; fifth day, Lynn monthly meeting. 
Sixth day we had an appointed meeting at 
Wareham in the morning ; and one in the even- 
ing at Brandon ; and on seventh day, an appointed 
meeting at Miklenhall. First day, 14th, we 
attended Thetford meeting; and afterwards went 
to Bury. On second and third day, the quarterly 
meeting was held there. 

After our quarterly meeting, my dear E. Cog- 
geshall, not seeing her way from Bury into 

* Luke xv. 13, + g Sam. xii. 7, 

H 2 


Leicestershire, I mentioned a place wig passed 
through in Norfolk, which had dwelt pretty 
much with me during my stay at Bury, believ-. 
ing it would be right for me to have a meeting 
with the inhabitants there, viz. Stoke. This 
acknowledgment from me, sooa cleared her 
Avay; and we made it known to our friends, and 
had a meeting appointed at that place on fourth 
day evening, the 17th, which proved a memora- 
ble opportunity. I believe it was a time of 
pEecious visitation to many of the inhabitants 
of that place and neighbourhood. And though 
it was sonie\\hat more than usually trying to me 
to propose this meeting, considering myself set 
out with one, who, I expected, would generally 
have to lead the way ; yet, after it was over, the 
reward I was permitted to feel in my own mind, 
■was a very full compensation for what I had 
passed through beibre it : indeed I think I have 
but seldom felt such an uninterrupted flow of 
peace, as was u>y happy experience through 
that evening. 

Fifth day, 18th. We went this morning to- 
Wareham, with my brother Samuel, who had 
kindly accompanied us the preceding day from 
Bury. After breakfast, we had a precious sea- 


son of solid retirement in the friend's family 
there ; and after it took leave of them, and my 
dear brother, he returning home from this place. 
Vie proceeded towards Leicester ; and, on sixth 
day evening, had a meeting at Oakham, in 
Rutlandshire. First day, 21st, we were at Lei- 
cester, to good satisfaction ; my mind was nearly 
bound to some exercised minds in that place. 
Second day, we had a meeting at Hinkley, and 
afterwards returned to Leicester, 

On third day evening, the select quarterly 
meeting was held there ; and next day the quar- 
terly meeting. A mournful time it was to me; 
occasioned, I believe, by my withhokling more 
than was meet, which tended to poverty, and 
distress of mind ; yet I think it was more from a 
preference I felt for others, whose public labour 
I esteemed before my own, than from any un- 
willingness to offer the food given me to hand, 
though it might have appeared but as the barley 
loaf; for that with a little of the divine blessing:, 
doubtless would have proved sufficient to have 
fed those, for whom it might be designed; which 
was my painful reflection when too late. After 
a time of sore conflict before we left the family 
there; where ^Ye had been very kindly enter- 
II 3 


tained several clays, a little ability was merci- 
fully afforded me, to intercede for tKem and our- 
selves, that we might all be enabled so to pass 
our time of sojourning here, as at last to know 
an admittance where sorrow is no more. And 
matchless goodness w^as pleased, in the close, tor 
convey intelligibly to my secret feeling, " It is 
enough ;" and I left Leicester in peace. 

On fifth day we had a meeting at Lough- 
borough; and in the afternoon went to Castla 
Donington, to the house of our valuable, 
ancient friends George and Ruth Fallows, 
where we enjoyed a peaceful evening with them, 
and were much comforted and encouraged by. 
dear Ruth's instructive company and conversa- 
tion. On sixth day we had a meeting at Castle 
Donington, in which Elizabeth had some public 
labour amongst a people, many of whom ap- 
peared to be too much strangers to the precious 
privileges of these gospel days, although most 
of them were professing to be worshippers of 
the great object of adoration in spirit and ia 
truth; so that it proved an exercising season; 
but a little opportunity of solid retirement in 
the family after dinner, enabled us to leave the 
place with relieved minds; and that evening wo 
liad a meeting at Derby, 


On first day, the 28tli, we were at Notting- 
ham meeting in the morning, where, after sitting 
a while in close exercise, a little ability was af- 
forded me to cast off my burden. I was per- 
mitted to feel relief when I took my seat again, 
and my dear E. Coggeshall had a very lively 
testimony afterwards, much to my comfort; 
and, as far as relates to ourselves, I believe we 
were both favoured to partake of a portion of 
peace at the close of the meeting; yet, I had 
much to fear that the word preached, to some 
states in particular, Vv'ould prove altogether un- 
availing. Yet, oh ! Mhat a mercy, amidst the 
many discouraging circumstances which we arc 
liable to experience, when passing along from 
place to place in gospel bonds, to know that 
the reward of our labour is not confined to the 
reception our mission meets with from man, but 
is proportioned to our obedience to Him, who 
sees and knows the hearts of all men. 

At Nottingham, Joseph Marriage, Mho had 
accompanied us from Bury, left us, and re- 
turned home. That evening wc had a meeting 
at Mansfield. On second day mornin"- we 
went to Chesterfield, to the house of my much 
esteemed friend Joseph Storrs ; and in the after- 


noon we had a meeting there; which to me was 
a very gloomy season ; but dear E. Coggeshall 
had acceptable service both in testimony and 
supplication. On third day we had a meeting 
at Furnace, where my mind was pretty closely 
exercised for two individuals who came into the 
meeting rather late, and had but little appear- 
ance of being members of our society. Upon 
their entering into the meeting house, I thought 
I felt a flow of gospel solicitude raised in my 
mind on their account ; particularly did I feel 
for the female, and believe it was a time of 
humbling instruction to her mind: I wish it may 
prove of lasting advantage to her. 

On fourth day we had a meeting at Breach^ 
Avhich was measurably owned by the great 
Shepherd of Israel. On fifth day, we travelled 
through a mountainous country ; and in the 
course of this day, as we passed through some 
small villages, my mind was so attracted towards 
the inhabitants of them, that I believe, had we 
been free from previous engagements by other 
meetings being appointed for us, I should have 
felt best satisfied to have acknowledged it to my 
dear companion ; but as that was the case, i 
kept my feeelings to myself. In this instance I 


believe It was needful for meetings to be fixed 
a little beforehand, on account of the particular 
situation of some places thereabouts; but, in 
general, I have found, in any services of this 
sort, in which I have been engaged, that it was 
safest, and indeed was my Incumbent duty, as 
much as posslblej to live as it w^vc one day at 

On sixth day we had a meeting at ^Monjr 
Ash, and after it returned to Chesterfield. On 
seventh day morning, before we left the hospi- 
table roof of our kind friends Joseph and Mary 
Storrs, we were permitted to experience a little 
season of retirement, wherein, I trust, our minds 
M ere humbled together before Him, whose ten- 
der mercies are over all his works. Joseph Storrs 
went with us to a meeting at Retford that even- 
ing. On first day, the 5th of the tenth month, we 
went to Blyth in the morning ; and in the even- 
ing had a meeting at Barnby Moor, a small 
village v/e had passed through in the mornmg. 
It was a considerable trial to me to give up to 
appoint this meeting, finding some friends were 
apprehensive it would not be likely to prove 
satisfactory. One objection appeared to be the 
smallness of the place, though I wished iuvita- 


tion to be given beyond the village, if a situa- 
tion large enough could be procured to admit 
-of extending it further ; but what weighed more 
with me than any other obstacle, M'as the diffi- 
culty Mhich our kind friend Joseph Storrs felt 
about its accomplishment; yet, unless he could 
have said he believed it best for us to give up the 
meeting, I did not feel it safe to do so, without 
making some attempt to have one, my dear 
E. Coggeshall being fully resigned to it, thouglt 
she felt nothing towards it herself. We had, in 
the end, to acknowledge the goodness and 
mercy of our heavenly Father, \\ho, blessed be 
his great and glorious name, does not send his 
children and servants a warfare at their own 
charge, but is meVcifuUy pleased, sometimes 
when they appear to be reduced to the greatest 
extremity, to prove himself to be strength in 
their weakness. Our dear friend J. Storrs, before 
he parted with us tliis evening, told me he 
was glad he had been at, that meeting; which 
acknowledgement, added to the peaceful sere- 
nity before felt, caused the rest of the evening 
to be a season of humbling gladness. 

On second and third day, we travelled to 
York; but before we got there^ E. Coggeshall " 


began to be apprehensive it would be best 
ibr us to attend a monthly meeting to be 
held at Warns worth the fifth day following ; 
and after we got to York, the weight increas- 
ing, we concluded to return. After the meet- 
ing at York on fourth day, accompanied by 
Henry Tuke, we went part of the way; and 
on iifth day morning we got in seasonable time 
to the meeting at Warnsworth, which was a low 
,time with me; but dear E. C. had acceptable 
service, in the meeting for worship. When I 
found that Elizabeth had a prospect of attend- 
ing this monthly meeting, as I began now to 
feel very near the end of my present mission, I 
thought it probable some friend amongst them 
might find, at least, a religious liberty to join 
her for a while ; and, therefore, in the women's 
jneeting, I mentioned how I was circumstanced, 
,and wished friends present to endeavour to feel 
^\hether the lot did not fall amongst some of 
ihem, to unite with our beloved friend ; but no 
one appearing to see it their place so to do, I 
returned with her to York. 

We were at York on first day the 12th ; and 
I was able to rejoice, in ability being afforded 
Nto mv dear fiieud to labour in her great jNIaster's 


cause, fliough it was a very low time witli me. 
As no companion offered, I did not feel satis- 
fied to leave her, and therefore I concluded 
to set out with her again on second daj 
morning, in order to take some meetings in 
that county; expecting we should return the 
'following lirst day. 

We had meetings at Pickering and INIalton; 
*vere at Pickering monthly meeting, and after- 
wards had meetings at ilutton in the Hole, 
Helmsley, Bilsdaie, and Kirby, and so re- 
turned to York. We left it again and went to 
Thirsk, Borrowby, and Mastiam. At this 
latter place our friend Mary Tate, of Cotting- 
uith, near York, met us, for the purpose of 
uniting with Elizabeth, and that day, the 24di of 
the tenth month, I parted with them, after a reli- 
gious opportunity to be remembered with grati- 
tude. My soul \^ as poured foi th iu supplication 
to the Father of mercies, for the blessing of 
preservation, through the remaining part of our 
pilgrimage here, whether we should ever be 
permitted to meet again in this mutable state or 
not; that so we might be prepared to join the 
just of all generations, whenever the niidiiiglit 
cry should be heard; of, " Behold the bride- 


groom cometh, go ye out to meet him."* 
My beloved friend and her new companion, 
went to a meeting appointed for them that even- 
ing at Le}burn, and I returned to Thirsk; and 
on the way, by the food received before we se- 
parated, was sweetly sustained, to the gladden- 
ing of my heart. Indeed for some days after, 
my mind was preserved in such a state of tran- 
quillity, as was cause of thankfulness. 

On sixth day I returned to York ; where t 
staid until fifth day the 30th, and left it in com- 
pany with several friends. Eleventh month 2d, 
jirst day, we attended friends' meeting at Derby, 
where we Avere joined by J. and E. Hoyland, and 
with them we travelled to Hitchin, which place 
we reached on fourth day evening, the 5th. 
Here I was met by my brother Dykes, who ac- 
jcompanied me home on tliird day, the 11th of 
Jhe 11th month. 

After parting with my beloved companion 
E. C. I thought it a privilege to have the com- 
pany of my much-valued friends before men- 
tioned ; and that my dear brother was disposed 
to meet rue when 1 parted with tfeen^. A^terl 
♦ Mat. XXV. 6, 


•qQ some account op 

got home, though I left it this time, more from 
an apprehension of duty to unite in sympathy 
with a beloved friend, than from a prospect of 
any religious engagement on my own account, 
I felt peace. And I humbly trust there w ere 
seasons experienced, wherein my dear friend 
and myself could feelingly acknowledge, we 
were bound together in gospel unity; harmoni- 
ously labouring for the advancement of the most 
noble cause, which can be advocated on earth. 
May it be our happy employ to celebrate it in 
a joyful eternity, through an unreserved dedica- 
tion of heart during our stay here, to the whole 
-will of Him, who has a right to dispose of U9 
fits he sees meet, 



12th Monti), 1300, to the 9th Month, 1002. 

Concern for the youth, SfC.-^IItintingdonshire and 
Cambridgeshire, — Religious prospects. — Plsit to 
Surrt/, Sussex and Hampshire quarterly meetings^ 
J^c.^Reiurns home. — Visits sundry villages in her 
own county. — Burial of Isaac Brightwcn. — Decease 

Previously to our quarterly meeting, held 
here in the twelfth month this year, and during 
its sittings, my mind was dipped into a state of 
mourning on account of some of its members, 
who, I was ready to fear, through unwatchftd- 
ness, had of late declined, rather than advanced 
in the way which leads to enduring felicity. 
Many of the youth appeared on the wing, soar- 
ing above the pure simplicity of the truth; and 
having the company of divers of these at my 
own house, I apprehended I felt a necessity laid 
upon me to intercede with the Father of mer- 
cies on their behalf. I was engaged to desire 
that they, with many more, might be prevailed 
upon to choose him for their portion, and be 
willing to follow him in the path of unreserved 
dedication, 's^hich yields more substantial com- 
I 2 


fort here, than any sublunary enjoyment can 
possibly do ; and affords a well-grounded hope 
of an admittance hereafter into umiiixed hap- 
piness. I think I have not often felt more 
solid satisfaction result from an engagement of 
this sort, than I was permitted to feel that 

ISOl. In the forepart of this year I was of- 
ten closely tried concerning an individual in 
the station of an elder, for whom I had long en- 
tertained a sincere regard ; but who now seemed 
in danger of making shipwreck of faith. At our 
quarterly meeting in the third month, my pain- 
ful apprehensions increased, so that, in the bit- 
terness of my soul, I was almost ready to utter 
the mournful language, " Who shall stand r"* 
when a ray of holy confidence in the never- 
failing arm of divine sufficiency, was mercifully 
vouchsafed, after this season of deep discourage- 
ment. It proved the eve of a precious day in 
the quarterly meeting at large, wherein w e were 
graciously owned by the great Father of his 
people, and some of us had cause humbly to 
acknowledge his fatherly dealings with us, and 
that to Him, with his beloved Son, our blessed 
Saviour, belong all thanksgiving and praise. 
* Psalm cxxx. 3. 


In the sixth month, my brother Samuel and 
myself, were a few days in Huntingdonshire and 
Cambridgeshire, with a friend who was then iu 
these parts on a religious visit, and was going 
into Scotland. The time we were together M'as 
short, but feeling the uniting bond of gospel 
fellowship, I think we were permitted to be as 
a threefold cord. 

We parted with this friend, after a meet- 
ing at Huntingdon, in which I trust, I may say, 
truth gave us the victory. Though it was but 
a small gathering, there appeared to be maiiy 
different states among them, a few I believe 
humble travellers for the prosperity of the pure 
cause. May they be strengthened in every 
good word and work, by the mighty power of 
Him, who can still enable " a little one to be- 
come a thousand, and a sn^all one a strong 
nation."'* After meeting we were favoured 
with a baptizing time in Hannah Even's family; 
and a litile season of retirement in Phebe Ful- 
ler's, before we separated. Brother Samuel 
and mys,elf reached home the next day, the C4th 
of sixth month. For some days after, my mind 
\vas permitted to experience an uninterrupted 

* IS.\IAH Ix. §2,, 

I 3 


tranquility, which I desire to acknowledge with 
humble thankfulness to Him, with whom are 
all the blessings both of time and eternity. It 
afforded a morsel of nourishment for many days^ 
during a season of close exercise and trial; 
which it was my allotment to experience very 
soon after this time« 

First day, 23d of 8th Month, 1801. 

A weighty religious prospect, of which I 
have had a distant view, at times, for several 
years, has been the close attendant of my mind 
for many weeks past, and occasioned me much 
deep, thougii hidden, exercise ; not feeling li- 
berty to disclose it to any one; even though I 
have, sometimes, of late, been almost ready to 
apprehend I must make it public at our next 
monthly meeting. Whilst I was awfully con- 
templating the subject in meeting this morning, 
with my mind entirely resigricd to do so, if per- 
mitted to see clearly that the tmie for moving 
therein was come ; I heard a voice distinctly, to 
my spiritual faculties, declare, " A ram caught 
in a thicket ;"* accompanied with an evidence 
that, at least, for the present, the will was ac- 
cepted for the deed. 

* Gen. xxii. 13. 


Immediately after it, another prospect opened 
to my view with great clearness, viz. to attend 
the ensuing quarterly meetings for Surrey, Sus- 
sex, and Hampshire ; and to visit some particu- 
lar meetings and places in those counties, which 
appeared as a sacrifice that would be accepted, 
and therefore might be compared to " The ram 
caught in the thicket." 

First day, 30th of the eighth Month. 

This prospect has continued wirii such un- 
clouded clearness, that I dare not doubt its 
being right to move therein, if my friends are 
free to set me at liberty. And whether the 
more important concern, because more exten- 
sive, ever should be opened again, I desire to 
leave with Him, whose wisdom and knowledge 
cannot be searched; for assuredly his ways are 
past finding out. 

At our monthly meeting, in the ninth month, 
I laid before my friends the above religious 
prospect, and obtained their concurrence to 
move therein as best wisdom might direct. My 
brother Samuel was, at this time, under an ap- 
pointment from ihe yearly meeting, to visit, 
with several other friends^ the quarterly meet- 


ings of Sussex and Surrey. His daughter 
Lucy feeling an inclination to accompany her 
father to the above quarterly meetings, we all 
left home together on the 14th of this month, 
and went to Bury, in order to attend our own 
quarterly meeting to be held there ; intending to 
proceed on our journey after it. 

In our way to London, we had a meeting 
with the inhabitants of Boxford, to pretty good 
satisfaction. On seventh day evening, the 19th, 
we got to Ryegate in Surrey, where my brother 
met his companions. The next day we attended 
the two meetings held there, and, in the evening, 
the quarterly meeting of ministers and elders for 
that county; and on second day, the quarterly 
meeting. We likewise attended the quarterly 
meeting for Sussex, and that for Hampshire. 

After this last quarterly meeting, a part of 
the yearly meeting's committee went directly to 
London. But my brother Samuel and some 
others, accompanied me a day or two longer. 
On seventh day evening m'c had a meeting with 
the inhabitants of Issington and another village, 
in the neighbourhood of Alton On iiist day, 
the 27di, \\q were at Godalming, attended both 


the meetings, and had a relieving opportunity 
in a friend's family in the evening. On second 
day morning, my dear brother and the rest of 
the yearly meeting's committee, with his daugh- 
ter, left me, and went to London in order to 
attend the quarterly meeting there, that being a 
part of their commission. 

As I did not feel any thing to draw me there, 
I was most easy to stop in Surrey; and on third 
day, I attended Guildford monthly meeting. 
Fourth day morning I went to Esher, to the 
week-day meeting ; where I had the satisfaction 
of meeting my brother Samuel, who had returned 
from London, and he continued with me through 
the journey, to my comfort and help. On fifth 
day we attended Kingston week-day meeting, 
and after it returned to Esher. In the evening 
we were at a meeting at the meeting-house 
there, to which the inhabitants of a neighbour- 
ing village were invited, no situation nearer 
apjjearing so suitable to hold the meeting in 
with them. If one could have been ob- 
tained at the place, it would, probably, have 
proved more relieving to us ; yet, I trust, we had 
cause to acknowledge, that divine assistance was 
mercifully afforded to minister to several dif- 


ferent states amongst lliem. On sixth day wc 
had a meeting at Dorking uith the friends of 
that place and Capel ; and in the evening had a 
public meeting at Capel. 

Tenth Month, !2cl, fa'st day. 

We attended Ryegate meeting in the morn- 
ing, and Ilield in the afternoon. In these 
two meetings, and in a sitting in a friend's fa- 
mily this day, we had cause to acknowledge the 
continued support graciously extended, from the 
bountiful dispenser of his own precious gifts ; 
Mhich, we are oft-times permitted to know, are 
in no wise at our own command; and therefore 
they ought to be accepted with gratitude and 
thankfulness, when they are dispensed to us. 

On second day we had a meeting at Horsham ; 
third day, attended a monthly meeting at Chi- 
chester; and in the evening had sittings in two 
friends' families. Fourth day we sat with the 
rest of the families there. Fifth day attended 
Arundel week-day meeting. Sixth day, we had 
a large meeting with the inhabitants of Pet- 
wordi, which was an exercising season, but I 
think ended to a good degree of relief to our 
tried minds. On seventh day, we went to Brigh- 
ton, and on our wav had sittings in two families. 


On first day, tlie 1 iHi, we attended the meetings 
tit Brighton. In the forenoon, I sat under a 
silent exercise ; and in the afternoon, for a con- 
siderable time, the same situation was my 
allotment; yet I felt much for divers states 
among them ; and at length was permitted to 
see the way open for a little casting off my bur- 
den, in testimony to them, and intercession with 
the Father of Mercies on their behalf. 

On second day we w^ent to Lewes; and on 
third day we had a meeting iheve. After it, I 
-could not see, for some hours, which way we 
should be likely to move from thence ; but, 
after a relieving opportunity in a friend's family 
in the evening, it clearly opened to leave these 
^counties, after having a meeting with the inha- 
bitants of Bletchingly. On fourth day morn- 
ing we returned to Brighton, where we parted 
w ith our dear friend Sarah Hack, who had very 
acceptably accompanied us from Chichester. 
That afternoon we went to Ryegate. Fifth day 
evening we had a satisfactory meeting at Bletch- 
ingly, and after it, went home with our kind 
friend Thomas Dann of Nutlield, at whose 
house we rested the next day, expecting to go 
thence to Rochester; in order to attend a quar- 
terly meeting there, to which my beloved bro- 


ther felt bound, and I felt full liberty to accom- 
pany him. 

On seventh day, in company with T. Dann 
and his daughter, we went to Rochester ; and 
were at a meeting there, on first day, the ISth. 
On second day, we attended the quarterly meet- 
ing. Third day went to London, to our kind 
friends' John and Tabitha Bevans. Fourth day 
morning we left them, after a solid opportunity 
in their family, and went to Grace-Church- 
street week-day meeting, where my dear bro- 
ther had a lively, and, to some faithfully exer- 
cised minds, an encouraging testimony. In the 
afternoon we went to Upton. On fifth day we 
went to Tottenham, and on sixth day proceeded 
homewards ; and reached Ipswich on seventh 
day evening. 

On first day, tenth month, 2jth, we attended 
the meetings there; and, in the evening, had a 
humbling season of awful retirement in our 
friend Isaac Liversedge's chamber, Avho was 
then very ill, of an indisposition from which he 
did not recover, though he lived several weeks 
longer. We returned home after it, well satis- 
fied that we went round by Ipswich to visit hivni 


that being our principal motive for going there 
at that time. After my return home, I had re- 
iiewedly to acknowledge the goodness and 
mercy of Him, who is still graciously pleased 
to reward the sincere, though feeble endeavours 
of his little ones, with a portion of that peace, 
which can come only from his boundless trea- 
sury, and therefore, I humbly trust, may be 
received as a mark of divine acceptance ; and is 
a jewel worth toiling long to obtain. 

In this little journey I experienced many difi- 
ferent dispensations. Sometimes, when I be- 
lieved it to be my duty to appoint meetings, 
-weakness has been so much the covering of my 
-spirit, in getting through them, that I was often 
led to fear lest I should have run, without being 
sent by hhn who alone can qualify for his own 
service ; yet at other times, I have humbly and 
thankfully to acknowledge, I never was more 
sensible of divine support and qualification to 
perform what appeared to be required of me, 
both among friends and others. 

Under a humbling consideration of my hea- 
venly Father's goodness, my soul was, after my 
return houxe; raatiy times bowed ia revereiicc. 



before him ; craving his protecting care, botli m 
heights and in depths ; that under every dispen- 
sation of his unerring Providence, there may 
be ability to say, " Thy will be done."* 

Very soon after our return home, we had aa 
account of the departure of dear Mary Ann 
Smith, who closed this life the day after we left 
Tottenham. Though there appeared but little, 
if any probability of her recovery when we 
parted with the family ; yet it was unexpected 
to us, so quickly to receive the intelligence of 
her awful change ; but as 1 believe her spirit was 
happily prepared for it, it is a great mercy to 
her, that infinite Wisdom hath beeifi pleased to 
cut the work short in righteousness ; and to ad- 
mit her to a full enjoyment of that precious 
communion with himself, the foretaste of which, 
I verily believe, she accounted her choicest 
blessing, whilst here. 

1802. I had not been long at home, after 
my return from the foregoing visit to the coun- 
ties of Surrey and Sussex, 8cc. before another 
religious exercise revived in my mind, which I 
had felt at times for several years ; viz. to hold 
?onie meetings in small villages on the westers 
* Mat, xxvi. 4?, 


side of this county. Very early in this year, 
the time for moving therein appeared clearly to 
open, and I found my dear friends John Kirk- 
ham and Maltha Brewster^ had similar pro- 
spects; and that the former had felt his mind 
particularly impressed to make known to me his 
concern, without any previous information of 
my having any such prospect. I informed hini 
and my friend M. B. of the time I had in view ; 
which, after solid consideration, they felt easy 
with, and we applied to our differcat monthly 
meetings in the fourth month ; and obtained die 
concurrence of our friends respectively to unite, 
and proceed agreeably to our prospects hud 
before them. 

We met at Bury, on seventh day, the 10th of 
the fourth month; and on first day attended the 
morning meeting there. In the evening we had 
a meeting with the inhabitants of Horringsheath, 
a village in the neighbourhood of Bury. From 
this time, until fourth day, the 2 1st, we were in 
a similar manner engaged, holding meetings 
within a short distance of that place. And, ia 
most, if not all of them, amongst a people who 
were very much strangers to us as a religious 
society. Many of them appeared also much 


strangei's to all true religion, and to that divine 
influence which oidy can quicken the soul, to a 
lively sense of the goodness and mercy of our 
great and gracious Creator; and enable us to 
perform acceptable worsliip unto " Him, who 
is a spirit, and must be worshipped in spirit and 
in truth."* Yet, in some places, we met with 
a few seeding minds, to our comfort; and 
amongst them, at times, we were enabled to 
renew our strength in the Lord, who from day 
to day was pleased to give us to know that 
he was sufficient for his own work ; though, 
when with a people who were so much unac- 
quainted M'ith his spiritual assistance, it was 
sometimes humiliating labour. However, some 
of these seasons were succeeded by a degree of 
that solid satisfaction, which compensatetl for 
the suffering of the day. Where the great 
Master is not admitted to reign, his faithful sei^ 
vants cannot but suOcr ; and they ought to 
esteem it a favour to be found worthy to abide 
■with him, even in tribulation. 

The last-mentioned evening, viz. fourth day^ 
Slst, we had a meetmg at jiottesdale, with the 
inhabitants of that place ; and after it set off 
• John iv. 23. 


with several friends who accompanied us thither, 
intending to return to Badwell-Ash. We had 
not got out of the town of Bottesdale, before 
we experienced a very close trial, occasioned 
by one of our friends receiving a very alarming- 
hurt on his head, by a fall from his horse, which 
ran away with him immediately after he had 
mounted. As soon as we could get him taken 
back to the inn which Me had just left, we had 
a surgeon's assistance, who appeared to be a 
man of good judgment in his profession, which 
was some alleviation to our tried minds. After 
staying with him till all was done for him that 
we were able to do under his then circum- 
stances, most of us proceeded, as we had before 
intended, to Badwell-Ash, leaving two friends 
wdth him for the rest of the night. On tiftli 
day morning, Martha and myself felt most easy 
to go back to Bottesdale, to see the friend who 
had been hurt, whom we found quite as well an 
we could reasonably expect, which was cause 
of heartfelt gratitude to the great Preserver of 
his people. We staid with him until that after- 
noon, when his wife, who had been, sent for, 
came to him; and she accompanied him home 
1he next day. We had one meeting more be- 


fore we returned to Bury, and got back ihet& 
on seventh day, the 24th. 

Though our absence was but for a few days, 
we had experienced some deeply proving sea- 
sons, wherein our faith had been closely tried : 
yet we had abundant cause to acknowledge, that 
our minds had been graciously favoured with 
divine support in the time of need, to our hum- 
bling admiration. 

The next day we attended the morning meet- 
ing at Bury ; and in the evening had a meeting 
with a large number of the inhabitants. In- 
vitation was particularly given to the lower class 
of the people, and it proved a relieving oppor- 
tunity to our minds ; which we esteemed a gra- 
cious mark of divme condescension, after some 
deeply trying baptisms. After this meeting was 
over, we all felt the weight of our present mission 
so lightened, as to believe a release was near ap- 
proachmg. After visiting a few friends m their 
families on second day, the way was clear for 
our coming to Needham on third day, the 27th 
of fourth month ; and that evening my beloved 
companions had a public meeting here, invitation 
having been given to the inhab 
ing, at John Kirkham's request. 


On 4th clay, after a solid opportunity together, 
with our very kind helpers, John Marriage, jun. 
and John Perry, we parted; the former ac- 
companying John Kirkham home. At the 
time of parting, my mind was permitted to feel 
a ^degree of peaceful quiet ; but, I think, 1 have 
seldom, if ever, experienced the same stripped, 
tried situation so soon after any engagement of 
this sort, as was now my allotment, with but 
little exception. Although I could not but be- 
lieve we were right in parting when we did, yet 
an apprehension was prevalent that it remained 
an unfinished work. Earnest have been ray 
desires, that on whomsoever the lot may fall to 
be again engaged in it, we may be enabled to 
keep our eye single unto the Shepherd of Israel, 
who, I humbly trust, did put us forth, go before 
us, and granted a present release from that field 
of labour ; then he may be pleased to unfold 
to us the further discovery of his holy will, and 
enable us to be resigned thereunto. 

On first day, the second of fifth month, I ac- 
companied my brother Samuel to Diss, to see 
our friend Isaac Brightwen,who,wehad been in- 
formed, appeared to be very near his final close ; 
and when we got there, we found he ^^ as not 


sensible, and in such a situation as to leave no 
reason to expect his siuviviug many hours. We 
attended the meeting there, which was a solid 
opportunity, and afler it returned to the house ; 
and his wife requesting our going to them into 
his chamber, we did so, and sat until we saw 
the awful conflict finished; when we were per- 
mitted to feel a precious covering, accompanied 
with a belief that the deceased had quitted 
mortality, for a glorious immortality. Before 
we left the house, we were favoured with a 
humbling uniting season with his widow and 
children. The ibliowiiig first day,, the 9th, we 
attended the burial, which was a memorable 
meeting to me, and I trust to divers others who 
were present : yet 1 fear such opportunities are- 
too frequently soon forgotten. 

Kinth Month, 30th, fifth day, 

Tlie remains of - ■ were interred 

in friends burial ground here. He was one 
over whom I had many tmies lamented, from 
a firm persuasion that if he had been faithful to 
the pure manifestations of truth in his own mind, 
he would have been dignified tiiereby, and have 
been made useful unto others. But instead 
hereof; it is to be feared; for want of keeping 


watchful and faithfiil in the day of small things, 
to the discoveries of the divine will concerning 
him, the enemy of all righteousness prevailed so 
far over his once enlightened mind, as to induce 
him to let fall divers testimonies to the pure 
principle of , truth, which, I verily believe, ia 
his youthful days, were precious in his view. 
Yet I am willing to believe, that through much 
tribulation he has obtained mercy, and is ad- 
mitted into holy rest. In the last few days of 
his life, I repeatedly sat by his bed side, and 
was sometimes favoured to feel a consoling be- 
lief that this v'o'Od be his happy experience. • 



12th Month, 1802, to the 7th Month, 180-1. 

A season of -ccithdraxdng, and trial. — Hit chin. —Visit 
to friends' families, SfC. in Suffolk. '-'London yearly 
meeting. — Her sister Ann's ikit to America. — Re- 
flection^.— -Renewai of a religious prospect alluded to^ 
in 1801. — Cast before the monthhj meeting.— Rc-- 
mark on her feelings upon such occasions. 

The latter end of this year, and most of th« 
first month, 1803, I was at Ipswich, with my 
dear sister Hannah, previously to, and during her 
confinement with her datighterPriscilla. Though 
I was well satisfied therewith, believing it to' be 
my duty to do what I could to alleviate a time 
of trial wlwch she was permitted to experience; 
yet, as to myself, it was a season of peculiar 
withdrawing of all substantial comfort. Some- 
times I could not but secretly mourn my desti- 
tute state of mind ; and had there not been a 
little ciieering ray of holy confidence, mercifully 
vouchsafed, m that x\ll-sufficient Power, who is 
still able to " open," at his pleasure, " rivers in 
high places, and fountains in the midst of the 
vallies :* to make tlie wilderness a pool of 
* Isaiah xli. 18. 


water, and the dry land springs of \vater ;" I 
fhink, it seemed almost as ii^ I must have sunk 
into irrecoverable sadness. But, blessed be the 
name of Israel's God, he was pleased to sustani 
through this long winter season ; and, at times, 
to afford a grain of living faith, that when his 
wisdom saw it was enough, the cloud should be 
removed from the tabernacle. I was sometimes 
ready to conclude, my present suffering was 
intended as a preparatory dispensation, for an 
tirduous and important engagement, which to- 
wards the latter part of the time revived and 
i^pread in my mind ; though not with sufficient 
clearness to satisfy me, the full time was come 
i"or opening it to my friends. 

In the latter end of this month, I accompanied 
my brother and sister W. and A. Alexander to 
Hitchin, where, on fifth day, tlie 27lh, we at- 
tended the interment of dear Joshua Wheeler. 
It was a solid meeting, and divers lively testi- 
jiionies were delivered therein; as there Mere 
likewise in an opportunity in his family in the 
-evening. Though, as to myself, I experienced, 
through the day, much poverty of spirit, yet I 
Avas well satisfied in being there, and glad to be 
^i/vitness to the graciouis support mercifully 


•vouchsafed to dear Elizabeth, who was strength- 
ened to bear testimony in the evening, to the good- 
ness and sufficiency of that divine power, which 
had supported her under the present deeply 
afflictive dispensation. 

After my return home, I went again to Ips- 
wich, and staid about ten days longer with my 
sister Hannah. During that time 1 felt more 
closely the weighty prospect which liad revived 
before I leit her. After 1 got home, it so much 
increased in weight, as to induce rae to believe 
it was right for me to open to my friends, iu 
the third month, a prospect 1 had of visiting the 
families of friends throughout our quarterly 
meeting ; and also of holding public meet- 
ings : particularly on the western side of the 
county, in some villages which were left un- 
visited when I was joined by John Kirkham and 
>lartha Brewster; and I obtained the concur- 
rence of friends to proceed therein. 

To give up thus far without any knowledge 
of a companion, was a sacrifice which cost me 
many hours of close exercise of mind, and 
many fears for the honour of the pure cause I 
was about to espouse. 


amongst divers who were not strangers to me, 
increased the arduousness of the work in my 
view ; believing it would be in a peculiar man- 
ner needful to stand resigned^ to renewed 
baptisms, in the course of such an engagement ; 
in order to experience all inferior judgment re- 
moved, and to feel an entire reliance, from 
hour to hour, on the guidance of unerring 

My mind for a short season was permitted to 
receive consolation, from an acknowledgment 
of my beloved brother Samuel's to the monthly 
meeting, that he felt most easy to inform his 
friends, he believed, if no other companion of- 
fered, he should feel bound to accompany me 
through some part of the visit. He had their 
full concurrence so to do. And, in the course 
of our religious engagements together, I had 
good cause to believe, that his willingness to 
sympathize with me, and, as far as was consist- 
ent v.ith the great Master's will, to become a 
fellow-labourer in the arduous Mork, was not 
all he was called to, but that he was separated 
for a similar work, within the compass of our 
own monthly meeting. 



We left home on seventh day, the IQth 6f 
the third month, and went that evening to Wood- 
bridge, and the next morning to Leiston, in time 
fox meeting. In the afternoon and evening we 
had four sittings in the families there. On second 
and third days we sat with the rest of that meet- 
ing in their famiUes. Fourth day morning, we 
began a visit to the families at Woodbridge ; 
and finished the next evening. On sixth day 
morning, we had a meeting with friends there ; 
and in the afternoon were favoured to leave 
them in peace. 

In the evening we iiad three sittings at Ips- 
wich, and there we were in a similar manner 
engaged, until fourth day evening, the 30th of 
this month. During .our visit in that place, I 
underwent the deepest baptisms, I ever expe- 
rienced. For several days after we got there, 
it seemed as though every day they grew hea- 
vier, so that sometimes I was almost ready to 
feel dismayed, lest I had begun a work, which . 
I should not be able to accomplish. But, to 
the praise of our Holy Head and High Priest, 
I, was favoured to witness, that, sufficient for the 
day, was the strength he was pleased in mercy 
to dispense. That eveeing, after the close of 


Uie visit, and through the greatest part of the 
night. I was favoured to partake more largely 
of the foretaste of enduring felicity, than ever I 
had done before. It m as a night which I de- 
she may ever remain in my remembrance, witlj, 
reverent thankfulness to the blessed Author of 
all good.: I thought to feel what I then felt, 
uninterruptedly, would, without augmentatioDy 
-constitute a joyful eternity. 

The next day, at a meeting with friends there/ 
I was renewedly plunged into close exercise, 
though not without some ability to cast off my 
burden, by ministering unto them, and inter- 
ceding with the P'ather of mercies for them and 
ourselves. But I did not feel a full release 
from Ipswich, witliout submitting to invite all 
my brother Dykes^* workmeii, and such of their 
families as inclined to attend, to come together 
that evening ; and it proved a solid opportunity.. 
After it was over, I was favoured to experience 
a renewal of the precious peace, which had been 
my allotment the preceding evening. 

On sixth day morning, the 1st of the fourth 
month, after sitting with a young woman who 



society, we came home; and a happy day it was 
to me, feeling the incomes of enriching peace. 

On first day, the 3d, I attended Mendlesham 
meeting, and afterwards sat M'ith the few friends 
in their different fahiilies. On third day, the 
5th, I was at our monthly meeting held at Ips- 
wich. Fourth day, accompanied by my brother 
Samuel, I visited the families in our own par- 
ticular meeting : but my mind was under too 
heavy a load of discouragement, in looking to- 
wards the future, to get relievingly through the 
present engagement. However, I have reason 
to apprehend that the close of this day might 
have proved more satisfactory, had I attended 
more to the great Tklasler's injunction of, " Take 
therefore no thought for the morrow ; for the 
morrow shall take thought for the things of 
itself."* This I was favoured to see verified 
the next day, the 7th of fourth month. In the- 
morning I took leave of my beloved brother 
Samuel, who expected to set out in a few days 
for the half year's meeting in Wales. It was a 
pinching separation to me, as we had been very 
nearly bound in gospel fellowship, in the course 
of our late arduous engagement. My brother 
* 31 AT. vi. 34, 


William kindly accompanied me to Bury^ where 
I informed my friends, in their monthly meeting 
of my prospect ia coming amongst them. When 
I had done so, my dear sister Hannah, who 
was then on a visit to her sister Martha Brews- 
ter, in a weighty manner, proposed to unite with 
me therein, which met the cordial approbation 
of her friends, and Mas truly comforting tp me. 
After meeting, I was favoured to feel such a 
degree of tranquillity, as was cause of humble" 

On sixth day, we visited three families, and 
travelled thirty miles. We continued visiting 
the families in the country meetings round Bury, 
until third day. That afternoon and evenin"- 
we had four sittings there; which I got throuoji 
mider much bodily suffering. From that time^ 
for several days, I was much indisposed from a 
complaint then very prevalent, the influenza; 
and my dear sister had something of the 
same disorder; so that, visiting the remaining 
families in Bury, was all we were able to- ac- 
complish in the course of that weel?. 

Under this unexpected detention my mine? 
•was mostly favoured to feel- peaceful ; and i? 
h 3 


was a great privilege to us, that we were so fa- 
vourably situated, as under oiu- beloved M. B.'s 
hospitable roof; at a time when we were unable 
to proceed in the prospect before us. On first 
day evening, the 17th, I had a meeting at Cock- 
field, for some of the inhabitants scattered 
thereaway ; and after it we returned to Bury. 
On second day we parted with our dear M. B.. 
and went to Haverhill. There we sat with the 
few families of friends ; and afterwards attended 
a meeting with them. On sixth day, the 22d,. 
1 had a meeting with the inhabitants of Widiers- 
field, and another village in the neighbourhood 
of Haverhill. On seventh day we went ta 
Sudbury. With friends there, and a meeting 
with the inhabitants of an adjoining place, we 
%vere engaged until third day, the 26th, when 
we came to Needham. On the way home, my 
mind was so strongly attracted towards some of 
the hihabitants of these parts, that I did not 
feel a full release from this field of labour, 
imtii 1 had invited them to come together the 
following first day, 1st of fifth month, when a 
large number were collected in a barn at 
Hitcham. Amongst them, I believe, was a 
great variety of states ; some, I trust, awakened 
seeking minds; though they seemed; as it were^ 


almost lost in the crowd. Quietness and peace 
were mercifully vouchsafed to me on my return 
home that evening : though I think my mind 
M as never more humbled under a feeling sense 
of being but an unprofitable servant, if at all 
worthy to be esteemed one in my heavenly 
Father's house. 

My beloved sister Hannah's sympathy, and 
secret exercise of mind, many times proved 
strengthening to me, in the course of our 
moving along j and I earnestly covet she may 
reap the reward of solid peace, for this act of 
dedication to the precious cause; which will 
ever be found enough to recom pence for many 
deeply baptizing seasons. I trust we may with 
thankfulness acknowledge, that although such 
were sometimes our experience, yet, the Au- 
thor of all good was with us at other times, 
and refreshed die visiters and visited together, 
to our humbling admiration. 

Tliough it has been but seldom that I have 
had any reason to believe it was right for me to 
attend our annual meeting in London, having 
much oftener apprehended my allotment has 
been to tarry at home, while others of our little 


company in this meeting were so employed: 
yet, this year, after the close of the foregoing 
engagement, I was unusually led into feeling, 
respectmg the approaching yearly meeting ; and 
my mxnd was nearly bound in gospel sympathy 
with my beloved sister Ann, who was going, 
under a prospect of casting before the selects 
meeting, her concern to visit the continent of 
America. I made some efforts to go which did 
not succeed, and the time being very short, I'. 
gave it up. Though I do not know that I can- 
say I felt condemnation, yet I have not had that 
clear evidence of being in my right allotment alj 
home, which, at many other times, I have beei> 
favoured to experience.* 

On fifth day, the 14th of the seventh moutli 
this year, my dear sister left home for 
America. Oti seventh day, the Ijth of the 
eighth month, she embarked at Liverpool, on 
board the Francis Henrietta^ bound for New- 
York. She was favoured to arrive in safety on 
sixth day, the l6th of ninth month. The loss 
of her society is great to many of our little 
circle in this place; yet the undoubted per- 
suasion that she is led forth by the great Shep- 
herd of Israel; tends to enable many of lier nea? 


connexions to feel resigned to His unerring 
will : consigning her to his fatherly protection, 
under every dispensation which he may see meet 
to appoint or permit her to pass through for 
his glorious cause sake; humbly hoping, in his 
own time, to be favoured to see her restored to 
ns again in peace. That her beloved husband, 
in a peculiar manner, may be a sharer with her 
in the precious reward ; and their tender babes 
know the blessing of preservation, I feel at the 
present moment nearly interested, may be theix* 
individual and united happy experience. 

Twelfth month, 31st. For some weeks, near 
the close of this year, my mind was tried with 
much depri\Tition of divine consolation. But 
within a few days, it has pleased infinite good- 
ness, a little to unveil himself to my comfort, 
and though it has been but of short duration, 
yet enough to renew a degree of living faith, 
and holy confidence, in his x\ll-sufficient power, 
and inscrutable wisdom. And as it is the fre- 
quent humbling experience of his servants, that 
it is consistent with his divine will they should 
live by faith, it is a mercy which calls for thank- 
fulness of heart, when any ability is felt in sin- 
cerity to utter the submissive language, undei' 


tliose dispensations, " Not my will, but thine h% 
done."* Humbled in the consideration of how 
frail I am, and unable in the smallest degree to 
come to such a state of resignation without re- 
newed help from time to time, from tiie holy 
sanctuary, oh! nxay my mind more and more, 
seek after ability to become sanctified thoughout,. 
in thought, word, and deed. In reviewing this- 
year, I perceive that although many deep exer- 
cises have been permitted for me to pass* 
tlnough, yet the Lord hath sustained me in the- 
midst of tliem all; and I have had some seasons^ 
of sweet consolation, in which my heart hatli 
been knit to the beloved of my soul. 

First ]Montli, 1st, 1804, 

•..'IMy liiiiid tliis afternoon has been led to con- 
sider, that many may be th'e changes which the 
present year may produce. Many the trials and 
exercises I may be permitted to experience, and 
oh ! may there be a centering to the source of 
all pure instruction, for counsel to move ac- 
cording to divine appointment; that whether 
suffering or rejoicing, that part destined for im- 
mortality, may be preserved in a state of accep- 
tance with " the High and Lofty One that 
* Llke xxii. 42, 


inhabiteth eternity, \vhose name is Holy,"* and 
who still condescends to dwell with them that 
•are of " a contrite and humble spirit." 

Fifth month, 11th. In the forepart of this 
year, I became renewedly exercised in the 
prospect of a religious engagement, w'lich for 
many years, even from my first appearing in a 
public testimony in meetings, has, at times, 
-weightily attended my misd ; and particularly 
in the summer of 1801, when, for a considerable 
time, I was ready to apprehend it would be 
consistent with my peace to endeavourto move 
therein. But infinite Wisdom was pleased at 
that time to order it otherwise, as already re- 
marked -in these memorandums. And now, 
when it first opened with weight, I felt soli- 
citous that whatever was right in his sight, might 
' be done ; though many have been my fears, as 
usual under similar impressions^ of being de- 
ceived by the great adversary, who cares not by 
what stratagem he can betray. At length such 
became the state of my mind, under the deep 
'discouragement which I have felt, that I but 
seldom possessed any capacity to put up even a 
•secret petition; to the Father and Fountain of 
* Isaiah Ivii. i.S, 


Life, for ability to know and do his will r 
though, day and night, in company and alone, I 
had not long together, felt liberated from an 
awful consideration of the important subject. 
This morning 1 ventured to unfold to my beloved 
brother Samuel a little of my tried situation ; hav- 
ing long looked towards him as a companion, 
if ever the way should open for engaging in the 
prospect in view, though I knew not that he had 
ever felt a similar concern. After speaking to 
him, my mind, for a short time, was relieved 
from a very heavy load, which leads me to be- 
lieve, let the matter issue as it may, whether I 
ever see my way to move further in it or not, 
that I have not done wrong in disclosing my 
feelings to him. Though he said but a few 
words on the subject, yet, from the manner in 
which he received it, and the weight which ac- 
companied us at the time, I do apprehend his 
jnind has been somewhat similarly exercised. 

Fourth day, l6th of fifth month. My bro- 
ther Samuel revived the foregoing subject to 
me; and, at the same time, acknowledged, to 
my comfort, that he had for some years felt an 
apprehension, that a similar engagement would 
sometime be allotted him ; but he had not sgeii 


ihe time for moving- diereki was fully come, 
though since I opened my feelings to him, he 
has looked more than heretofore towards an 
early entrance into it; yet not with sufficient 
clearness to give me much expectation he shall 
be likely to see his way to join me in next eighth 
4nonth ; which has very much fixed with me as 
being the right time for my leaving home. 
Much do I desire Me may both be enabled to 
move under the direction of Him, who remains 
to be, " Great in counsel, and mig"iity in woi^k."* 

After many anxious ho^u's, and some deep 
<:onflicts of spirit, on this important subject, I 
was enabled, at our monthly meeting m the 
seventh month, to open my prospect of a visit 
to friends and some others in Scotland, some of 
the northern counties of England, and the in- 
habitants of the Isle of Man. It was received 
by my friends in a manner that raised hun> 
ble admiration in my deeply tried mind ; and, 
.casting the burden before tliem, afforded a pre- 
cious portion of tranquillity, to which 1 had 
long been much unaccustomed. I think I never 
was so sensible of diviixe help and support^ an- 
gler a similar Qircumstance, as la the womea's 
• Jer. xxxji. 19. 


aneeting at this time, though I did not feel alto* 
ther the same strength in the men's. 

Indeed I have but seldom felt as much ability 
jn communicating in this way to my brethren, 
as when among my sisteis : and, 1 believe, the 
necessity there is, in such cases, of repeating 
pretty much tlie same thing, does in degree les- 
sen the weight of what is expressed. 

My dear brother Samuel, at the same time, 
informed friends, how he had been circum- 
stanced, and that he felt most easy to propose to 
unite with me. Certificates for us were ordereci 
to be prepared for next monthly meeting; to bo 
held on fourth day, the 1st of tiie eighth inontji. 



3d of oth Month, 1304, to the 1st of 1st Month, 180^. 

iSefs Old on fhe risii to Scotland, SfC.-^Biiiy. — Little- 
port. — Chatteris. — Derb^ . — Cocker mouth . — Parfo?i . 
Isle of Man. — Whitehaven. — Dissingion. — Cocker- 
mouth. — Mari/-Port, — Cochermouth quarterly meet- 
gardif. — Old Meldrum. — Aberdeen. — Stonehaven. ~-' 
Montrose.— Dundee. — Perth. — Glasgow. — Edin-'- 
iurgh monthly 7neefing. — Newcastle. — Shields.—-' 
Darlington, S)C. — York.—'Welbourn. — Northampton 
^arterly meeting. — Chatteris. — Patunis hoine. 

Sixth day, the 3d of the eighth Month. 

After so long a time of deep exercise, it has 
been cause of humble admiration that I have 
been enabled to look forward towards the 
weighty engagement in view, with so much se- 
rene satisfaction, as, for the last few weeks, has 
frequently been the happy experience of my 
thankful heart. Under these feelings, I left 
home, and we went this evening to Bury. The 
next day my mind was permitted to know a dif- 
ferent dispensation, and I was ready to fear we 
must part from our dear friend INIartha Brews- 
ter, under a sense of the deprivation of that 
M 2 


substantial comfort, which my soul longed to 
feel. But just before we left her hospitable 
roof, we were favoured to know a little of the 
renewed loving kindness of our gracious Helper, 
who, through our beloved friend M. B. was 
pleased to open for us a little brook by the 
way, and we bid farewell to her under its ten- 
dering influence. 

On first day the 5th, my dear brother Samuel 
and myself were at Littieport meeting, which 
was a very small gathering ; but we were per- 
mitted to experience the fulfilling of the divine 
promise that, " Where tw o or three are gathered 
together in my name, there am I in the midst 
of them."* It was a humbling, baptizing sea- 
son; to be remembered with thankfuhiess to 
Him, in whom are all oar fresli springs> 

We went that evening to Chatteris, and lodged 
at our friend John Bateman's, who was from 
home on a religious engagement with John 
Abbott, with a view to visit the Isle of Man ; 
and it now looks likely we may cross the 
water together. Before we left this family, 
we had a humbling opportunity of religious re- 


tirement. In the course of this week we tra- 
velled to Sheffield ; taking a week-day meeting 
at Loughborough, and another at Derby. At 
the latter, in the evening of the same day, we 
had a meeting with the riclily visited inhabitants 
of that place. On first day, the 12th, we were 
at Sheffield meetings. And thence, on second 
day, we went to Huddersfield. On fourth day 
we attended a week-day meetmg at Settle ; sixth 
day, one at Kendal ; and on seventh day, the. 
18th, we g,9t to Cockermouth, where we met 
our friends John Abbott and John Bateman. 
We all attended the meeting there the next day, 
and had one in the eveniag for the inhabitants- 
of that place, appointed by John Abbott. 
Though we passed through some close exercise^ 
we had cause to be thankful we were there. 
The evening meeting was a time greatly owned 
by the Shepherd of IsraeL 

On second d^y, we went to our friend Henry 
Bragg's, at Parton, near Whitehaven ; and were 
informed, on our arrival there, that the packet 
for the Isle of Man, would sail that evening 
about ten o'clock. This was intelligence that 
brought my mind under deep exercise, especi- 
ally finding all my intended companions were 
M 3 


willing to go at that time, though my brother 
gave a preference to staying over the monthly 
meeting at Whitehaven, the next day^ When I 
found him so circumstanced, I also endeavoured 
to look at going with them, but after a close 
conflict, I felt best satisfied to inform my be^ 
loved brother and fellow-labourer, that, before I 
left home, I thought I saw we were to attend 
that monthly meeting, and sail the next day ; and 
that the prospect so continued with me, as to 
lead me to believe it was safest to give up going 
by the packet ; though there then appeared 
but very little probability of our getting con- 
"veyed to the island,, on- the day I had in views 
My dear brother, when he heard this acknow- 
ledgement, felt fully resigned to- stay with me. 
We then informed our friends J. A. and J. B. 
Jiow we were situated, desirmg them to pursue 
their own prospect, if they continued to feel 
most easy to go that evening ; but they likewise 
concluded to stay the monthly meeting next day. 
It proved ^ season of divide favour; and three 
friends that day were separated to accompany 
us, who proved truly sympathizing helpers 
many ways, viz. Henry Bragg, John Fletcher, 
and Ami Fletcher, the Intter as a female com- 
panion to me; w-hose affectionate attentioo- 1 


?iave cause to remember Avitli gratitude. In the 
afternoon of that day, Henry Bragg and some 
other friends, made much inquiry for a vessel to 
take us over, but could not succeed; and late in 
the evenmg it seemed needful to give up the 
expectation of going the next day. This was 
another close trial of my faith, having so fully 
believed that we should meet with something 
suitable for the next morning. Very soon after 
it appearsd given mp by my companions as a 
hopeless case, Henry Bragg came in again and 
informed us he had just met with an offer of a 
vessel to take us either that evening or the next 
morning. We soon concluded to take the morn- 
ing's tide ; and I went to bed with a heart tilled 
with thankfulness, and peace. 

Fourth day morning, the 22d> we sailed from 
Whitehaven with a fair wind, and very fine wea- 
ther, which contmued until we got about two- 
thirds of the way over; then it became almost 
a calm ; and when a iitue wind did spring up, it 
was nearly a-head of us, which made it slow 
getting on. However we wee favoured to 
land siifu at Ramsay, 34 miles, that uight; and 
had cause lo iye' our heart-; humble I c.i 'hdnb- 
fulness to Him whom wind and waved obey. 


We had a meeting at Ramsay the next morn- 
ing, and another in the evening ; in both which 
we experienced Holy Help to be near. At this 
place we met with great kindness from a family 
who accommodated Ann Fletcher and myself 
with a bed ; and manifested other acts of bene- 
volence to our little company, which bomid 
them to om- affectionate and religious feelings. 
With them we had a solid season of retire- 
ment before we set off on sixth day morning, in 
which they were recommended to seek more 
and more after an inward acquaintance with the 
Father of spirits, who is the sure reward of all 
his faithful people, and worthy to be served 
both by the aged and the youth. Intercession 
was also made unto Him, that, as they had 
handed much more to us than a cup of cold 
water, in the name of Disciples, they might re- 
ceive their reward; and that he would be pleased 
to grant us, his pilgrims, the blessing of preser- 
vation uftder all our movements, in passing along 
through this little island, a very small part of 
his footstool. 

On sixth day evening, we had a meeting at a 
place called Kirk Andrews. On seventh day 
evening, one at Kirk Michael. On first day 


morning, the 26th, we had a meeting at 
Balaff; and m the evening, one at Peekown, 
where we met with divers solid people amoBg 
the society of Methodists ; with whom we were 
permitted to experience, in a very precious 
manner, the overshadowing wing of divine re- 
gard; under the influence whereof, ability was 
granted, to espouse the truths of the gospel, 
given to us as a people, in a peculiar manner, 
to bear unto the world. And, under a humbling 
sense of his goodness, and of our unworthiness 
of his multiplied favours, the tribute of thanks- 
giving and praise was offered unto his glorious 
name, who is for ever worthy of all that can be 
ascribed unto him. After meeting we sat a 
while with one family of the aforesaid people ; 
where we were again permitted to know, our 
Holy Helper is confined neidier to time nor 
place ; but is condescending to deal out his 
bread to the hungry, when and where a due 
preparation is made to receive his bounty. 

On second day morning, T arose under an. 
awful api^rehension that it would be right for, 
at least, a part of our company to go again into 
the family we had visited' the preceding evening, 
and into some others among that people, before 


we left the place. After breakfast I mentioned 
this to my companions collectively ; and I had 
the satisfaction of finding my beloved brother 
had received somewhat of a similar impression. 
After solid deliberation, part of our band con- 
cluded to accompany us, while Henry Bragg and 
John Fletcher went to a place a few miles dis- 
tant, in Older to provide a meeting for the evening* 

We went first to the family we had been 
with the evening before, where we again met a 
very cordial reception. We had also the com- 
pany of their parents, who resided at the next 
house; and of a solid young man, their preacher. 
With them altogether, we were favoured to 
have a truly solemn and profitable opportunity j 
at the close of which, apprehending we were 
w 1th some of the heads of their tribe, my bro- 
ther felt it safest to remark to them a custom 
we had observed in many placed, and particu- 
larly on this island, which was of those in their 
society, when they attended our meetings, 
kneeling down on their entrance into the room. 
He pointed out the difference we felt towards 
different individuals under this ceremony ; some 
we had cause to believe felt an awful sense of 
the object of our meeting together; bq^ with 


respect to some others, their manner was so 
irreveient, as to cause us to feel deep lamenta- 
tion on their account; and, in some meetings, Me 
had believed it right at the close of them, to 
give a caution against complying with such an 
.outward form, while the attention of the mind 
<was far from the great object of adoration and 
worship. Under a feeling of near regard, we 
parted with them all, except the young man, 
who kindly conducted us to the other families 
•which we visited : wherein also we experienced 
sthe gathering arm of Israel's Shepherd. The 
more we saw of this young ^nan, the more we 
felt bound to him in gospel love; in a sense 
whereof we bade him farewell. 

That evening we had a meeting at Malinaclig. 
On third day evening one at Darby, with some 
solid people, but among them we apprehended 
there was a great diversity of states. It proved, 
^however, a season wherein divine mercy ap- 
peared to be near to do the people good. Even 
some such as had been too much in danger of 
resting satisfied with former experience of the 
great Master's gracious visitation to their souls, 
without endeavouring to maintain the Match 
iagainst a situation comparable with that of those 


who tliQUglit themselves rich aud iiicreased i« 

As there was not a place of public entertain- 
ment in this village, we were here for several 
horns taken in by a man and his wife, John and 
Eleanor ETlison, who apj^eared to be of truly 
religious mmds. With this family, after a 
meetnig held in the place, we parted, under 
evident marks of affectionate esteem ; and had 
a beautiful moon-light ride, several of us in an 
open cart; but tranqijillity covering our minds, 
though it was past midnight before we arrived 
at our proposed lodging place, we enjoyed our 
situation. On fourth day, we had a meeting at 
Castletown in the morning, and one in the even- 
ing at Ballamodda; fifth day at Ballanorrass ; 
sixth day at Ballasalla; and, on seventh day 
evening, the 1st of ninth month, we had our last 
meeting on this island, expecting to sail that 
night for Whitehaven. 

This meeting was held in a large assembly- 
room at Douglas, and for some time after we 
met, it was the most unsettled opportunity we 
had known since our landing on the isle. Iri- 
deed, it was so much so, as to plunge my miml 


into deep discouragement, considering that we 
could not have another meeting with the inhabi-, 
tants of that place, without missing our convey- 
ance by the packet. I think it was a season of 
as close exercise as I ever remember to have 
experienced. John Bateman and my dear bro- 
ther, had each a little matter to offer to the 
people, I thought very pertinent to the situation 
of divers amongst them, whose states, as to reli- 
gious sensibility, I believe, were very different; 
some of them appearing awfully aware of the 
intention of our gathering together. However, so 
little place did the foregoing testimonies appear 
to have with those of another description, that 
soon after my brother had taken his seat again, 
I was ready to apprehend it might be best to 
close the meeting, but my companions did not 
feel at liberty to do so. After endeavouring 
to bear my burden the appointed time, I at 
length believed it would be safest for me to at 
least get upon my feet, which I did in much 
fear and trembling; but with an earnest desire, 
to be rightly directed by Him, who only knows 
the food convenient for his people. Probably 
the novelty of a female's appearance in such a 
manner, might have place with some of them, 
'!0 that m a short time they became mucit 



quieter, and more attentive ; and I was enabled 
to minister to many different conditions present, 
to the relief of my own mind. After this, some 
further commtuiications were offered by my 
fellow-labourers ; and the meeting ended in 
solemn supplication to our universal Parent, for 
a blessing on the present opportunity; and, in 
humble acknowledgements for his gracious as- 
sistance unto us, mercifully vouchsafed at that 
time, as also on many similar occasions in our 
passing along, among the little handful of his 
people situated on that small spot of ground. 
We took an affectionate leave of many after 
meeting ; and on our way to the nm, called 
at a house where we had that afternoon taken 
tea, with a very valuable young woman and her 
aged father ; with w horn we now had a solid 
and truly memorable season of religious retire- 

\yhen we reached the inn, we were immedi- 
ately told, the captain had been there to inform 
us he was ready to sail. We were therefore 
obliged to leave the house without sitting down, 
or partaking of any refreshment for the body ; 
but our minds being richly replenished with a 
portion of peace, and feeling a full clearance of 
that part of our mission, it was of but very lit- 
tle consequence to us. 


We M'ent on board about ten o'clock, and after 
a good sail, with a fair wind, were favoured to 
land in safety at Whitehaven, at nine o'clock 
on first day morning. After breakfast, my bro- 
ther and myself went to our friend H. Bragg's, 
at Parton, to get a few hours rest. In the 
afternoon we assembled with our friends at 
Whitehaven. That day, before we parted with 
our companion John Abbott, he informed us of a 
prospect he had, of a meeting with the inhabi- 
tants of a village between AVhitehaven and 
Cockermouth, querying if we had had any view 
towards the same place. As it had attracted 
my attention, so much as to lead me to appre- 
hend we should not be likely entirely to leave 
those parts without a similar engagement, ife 
seemed, we thought^ very desirable to unite 
with him and John Bateman ; though I felt 
so fatigued, and in want of rest, after our close 
tiavelling and exercise on the island, as rather 
reluctantly to submit to joining them ia the ap- 
pointment of a meeting there, Dissington, on 
second day evening; which appeared the most 
suitable time for them. It proved to me a par- 
ticularly exercising meeting, wherein I thought 
1 had to labour in the gospel, in as much weak- 
ness and mortification to the creaturely part, as- 
^^ 2 


at any time since my leaving home. Indeed I 
was almost ready to call in question the rectitude 
of our being there ; but, after we left the place, 
and returned to Parton, I was permitted to feel 
ft degree of the calming influence of divine love, 
as a canopy to cover my mind, so as to raise 
reverent thajuktuluess to Him, who is pleased to 
accept the feeble, if but faithful endeavours of 
his humbly dedicated children. 

On 3d day we all attended the week-day meet- 
ing at Cockermouth, where we met our three 
kind fellow-helpers, who had accompanied us 
across the water. In the afternoon we had a preci- 
ous parting opportunity together ; in which we had 
to acknowledge that the sustaining arm of divine 
.sufficiency had been with us in our going forth, 
and mercifully supported throughout ; sweetly 
uniting our little band in gospel fellowship. We 
Lad also to acknowledge that many circum- 
stances respecting our union, had been mar- 
vellous in our eyes, and claimed the tribute of 
gratitude and praise unto our Holy Director, 
who remains to be unto his people, '' Wonderful, 
Counsellor, the Mighty God;"* and who was 
condescending, at that time, to bestow a portion 
♦ Isaiah is. 6, 


6( enriching peace ; though we could truly, with 
abasedness of spirit, adopt the language, " We 
are unprofitable servants."* 

On fourth day, John Abbott and John Bate- 
man went to Kendal ; and my dear brother and 
myself to a meeting at Setmorthy. In the af- 
ternoon, in our way to Broughton, we visited 
a very afflicted friend, I think the most pitiable 
object I ever beheld ; but we were comforted 
in believing his sufferings would terminate with 
his existence here ;, and we also were ready to 
believe that it would not be very long ere ths 
gracious call would be in mercy extended to his 
soul, to leave the shackles of mortality, for aa 
abode in durable happiness. 

From fifth to seventh day, we attended meet . 
ings at Broughton, Pardshaw, andGrey-Southen. 
On first day, the 9th, we were at Maryport. In 
the morning meeting tliere, I very soon felt my 
mind under exercise, and divers states present 
were brought before me with what I appre- 
hended clear openings for communication ; but 
I had not been sensible of the full time being 

» Luke xvii, iQ, 


€ome for it, when another stepping in, closec? 
up the w ay, and we had no public labour there ► 

In the afternoon meeting we were permitted 
to experience a good degree of relief, although 
I do not suppose we were endowed with as 
much strength, to warn some, and encourage 
and sympathize with others, as we might have 
"been, had we met with no impediment in th© 
foregoing meeting. However we had renewed 
cause, through all, to thank our gracious 
Helper, and to confide in his all-sufficient 

On second day morning, after a season of 
divine favour, in the friend's family where we 
lodged, we left Maryport. In the remaining 
part of this week we visited the meetings at 
Allanby, Holm, Wigton, Bolton, Kirkbride, 
Coldbeck, and Mosedale. On first day, the 
l6th, we were at Carlisle, in the morning ; and 
had a meeting in the evening at Scotby. On 
second day, we travelled over some very moun- 
tainous road to Aldston; where we had a meet- 
ing the next day. Fourth day, we were at a 
monthly meeting at Allondale; and, in the after- 
noon, attended a select jjieetmg there, held in a 


friend's house, to accommodate an ancient 
woman who was not able to get to the meeting- 
house. On fifth day, we had a meetmg at 
Derwent, and returned to Allondale. Sixth 
day evening we had a meeting at Cornwood. 

In the course of the last two weeks, many 
have been our exercises. In some of the meet- 
ings that we have attended, within that time, we 
have been favoured to feel, concerning a few 
individuals, that the pure cause which we are 
engaged to espouse, is lovely in their view. 
But, alas ! by divers others it hath appeared to 
be professed only by tradition. They hardly 
seemed sensible of the lamentation we were 
constrained, at times, to utter in their hearing ; 
and in one meetmg in particular, we had cause 
to fear, from the impressions we felt, that the 
enemy of all good, had so far prevailed with his 
temptations, that some were not clear of all un- 
seemly and unmoral conduct. May the God of 
all grace, still be pleased so to plead with these 
his poor bewildered children, as, by his power- 
ful and delivering arm, to preserve them even- 
tually from the jaws of the devourer; through a 
timely obedience to his gracious pi ecepts and 
invitation: "Wash you, make you clean: put 


away the evil of your doings from before mine 
eyes ; cease to do evil ; learn to do well. Come- 
now, and let us reason together, saith the 
Lord; though your sins be as scarlet, they shall 
be white as snow; though they be red like 
crimson, they shall be as wool."* Even unto 
such as these, his subsequent promise is, "' If 
ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the^ 
good of the land."J 

On first day, the 23d, we were at Sykeside 
meeting in the morning ; and in the evening at- 
tended one at Solport ; after M'hich we returned 
to Sykeside. On third day we had a meet- 
ing at Moorhouse ; which concluded our visit 
to all the particular meetings in the quarterly 
meeting of Cumberland and Northumberland. 
This week tlie quarterly meeting was held at 
Cockermouth ; and after many days of consi- 
derable thoughtfulness on the subject, it seemed 
best for us to attend that meeting before we 
proceeded for Scotland, which we accordingly 
did on tlie 27th and CSth of ninth month. 

On seventh day morning, after a solid oppor- 
tunity in J. and D. Ritson's family, where we 
♦ Isaiah i. 16— la. $ Isaiah i, I9i 


Tiad been divers times entertained with much 
kindness and aftectionate attention, we left 
Cockermouth, for Paiton, and there, in the 
agreeable society of our dear friends H. and M. 
Bragg, and their children, we spent a quiet 
afternoon. On first day morning, we attended 
Whitehaven meeting, which proved a season of 
relief and consolation to our minds, not having . 
felt fully clear of friends there until now. In 
the evening we had a very large meeting, with 
the inhabitants of Workington, and went after 
it, though late, to Grey-Southen, to our kind 
friend John Fletcher's. 

Tenth month, 1st, second day. This even- 
ing we had a meeting with the inhabitants of 
Brigham, at the close of which we parted with 
several friends ^^ ho met us there, to whom we 
had been nearly united in gospel fellowship ; 
expecting the next morning, to leave those parts 
and go directly for Scotland. 

On third day we were accompanied one stage 
on our way, by our dear friend John Fletcher. 
On the road we were overtaken by H. Bragg, 
who intended to accompany us to Edinburgh. 
We got that niglit to Carlisle ; and on fourth day 


morning, after a little season of retirement, we 
parted with our kind friend David Carrick and 
his family. 

A few miles from Carlisle, H. Bragg prt>- 
posed our calling to speak to a friend's family 
by the road's side, with which we complied $ 
and were well satisfied in doing so. 

This afternoon we entered into Scotland^ 
and on fifth day we reached Hawick, whera 
there are two families of friends, who sit down 
together in one of their houses. That evening 
we had a public meeting there; and the next, 
morning, sat widi the two families in that. place 
separately, in which we felt satisfaction ; and/ 
under a feeling of gospel love, we parted with 
them, except one friend, m ho wsirt with us ta 
Edinburgh, where we arrived before dinner, oa 
seventh day.. 

On first day, the 7th, we attended the meet- 
ings there. In tire morning sitting I was dipped 
into close exercise, without any opening for 
communication, and the watch word which, 
deeply impressed my mind, appeared to be like 
the injunction given by our Great Master, to his 


Immediate followers, when tiiey were about to 
filter upon his mission to the lost sheep of the 
house of Israel : " Be ye therefore wise as ser- 
pents, and harmless as doves."*^ This was ac- 
companied with an awful impression, that to do 
our proper business, we must submit to visit 
from house to house, amongst our friends in that 
place- Before the afternoon meeting, I felt a 
necessity 4o unfold to my beloved brother, how 
I was circumstauced, who, I found, had been in 
somewhat a similar situation, but did not appear 
to be come at full clearness in his mind re- 
specting it. This I much desired he might he 
favoured to do, before any such prospect was 
opened to our friends; though I apprehended 
it might be right for us to commence our visit 
that evening, and thought I saw with what fa- 
mily we should begin : yet I could not feel satis- 
fied to divulge it further, until his way was per- 
fectly clear. However, after Ihad informed 
him what I did, I experienced a degree of relief 
from the weight of exercise which had rested 
A\'ith me, previously to my speaking to him on 
.the subject. But it was otherwise with him, 
for he found the matter increase, and fix so 
jauich, that at the close of the afternooa 
* Mat, X. 16, 


meeting, in a very desirable manner, he informed 
friends of our prospect. 

From some of them we received expressions 
of sympathy, and encouragement to pursue what 
we had in view; and it was by them proposed, 
as we should need some assistant to conduct us 
from one family to another, that our friend 
Henry Bragg, who had kindly accompanied us 
many miles, should, if he felt freedom so to do, 
aid us a little longer, by continumg with us 
through the impending engagement. To this 
he readily assented, and that evening we sat with 
two families. Second, thud, and fourth days 
were employed in this way. On fifth day, we 
attended a monthly meeting at Edinburgh ; and 
in the evening had one sitting. At the close of 
that day, we felt, at least, a present release from 
this place; and had cause to testify that the 
Lord God Omnipotent, is worthy to be sought 
unto, and trusted in, by his children and people. 
And, oh! may we prove humble and grateful 

On sixth and seventh days, Ave travelled to 
Dundee, accompanied by Alexander Cruick- 
•shank, our kind landlord at Edinburgh ; we had 


also the company of our friend Henry Bragg, 
who did not yet appear prepared to bid 
farewell to us. On first day, the 14th, we 
attended two meetings at Dundee, and had 
two sittings in friends' families. On fourth 
day we got to Balhalgardy, to our friend John 
Cruickshank's, under whose quiet roof I felt it 
a peculiar privilege to shelter that evening, be- 
ing very unwell with a close cold, and much 
depressed in mind in the prospect of remaining 
engagements in this land. 

On fifth day we rode five miles to Kinmuclc, 
m order to attend a monthly meeting there that 
day ; but I was too ill to go to meeting, or to 
keep out of bed much of the time friends were 
sitting ; yet, obtaming a little relief in the after- 
noon, we went five miles further to Old Mel- 
drum. On sixth day we had a meeting there ; 
and after a religious opportunity with a friend 
before dnmer, and an opportunity after it with 
the family where we lodged, we essayed to leave 
that place ; but I could not, with satisfactory 
clearness, see our departure thence, without 
visiting the rest of the little handful of profes-^ 
sors under our name, belonging to that meet- 
iiig j w ith whi<.Ij my brother ttuitcdt We got 


tbrough them that evening and the next day; 
and afterwards returned to Balhalgardy. On 
first day, the 21st, we were at the meetmg at 
Kinniuck, which I think was in some good de*- 
gree owned by the great Shepherd of Israel, 
and ended to satisfaction. 

As I continued to feel very unM'^U, after 
meeting we went back to Balhalgardy, and 
rested there the remaining part ot that day. 
Indeed I was ready to suppose I must tarry 
there many days befoLC I should be well enough 
to move forward with what still remained to do 
thereabouts. But 1 recovered so far as to get 
to a public meeting appointed for us at Old 
Meldrum, qn second day evening ; and, though 
it was very wet, without taking any fresh cold. 
On third <lay we had several sittings with the 
faniilies within the compass of Kinmuck meet- 
ing ; and the remaining part of them, we sat 
with before their meeting on fourdi day, which 
we attended. In the evening we had a public 
meeting at Inverury. The latter proved a sea- 
son of some encouragement to my mind, feeling 
Holy Help to be near, which remains to be q. 
rock of defence to the truly dependant in alJ 
their exercises, 


After this meeting we went to Balhalgavdy. 
The next day we parted with our kind and muciv 
esteemed friends of that family, with whom we 
had a solid season of retirement when about to 
separate, which to us felt a comfortable close to 
our little services thereaway. On sixth day we 
had a meeting with friends at Aberdeen, where 
some of the few professing with us, appeared 
very much strangers to the pure truth. It was 
an exercising meeting; but some ability was af- 
forded to labour; and in it we had peace. We 
felt much sympathy with one individual, in- 
whose family we had a religious opportunity, 
before we left the place, in the afternoon. That 
evening we visited, at Stonehaven, the only re- 
maining member of Ury meeting -— a very 
ancient woman ; but it was comforting to our 
minds, to find, in her very lonely situation, she 
was favoured, in her old age, to retain a lively 
sense of the pure principle in which she had for 
many years professed to believe. This was- 
now her comfort and support; and we had a 
comfortable hope would be mercifully vouch- 
safed to the end of her pilgrimage here ; and 
that at the close thereof she would obtain an 
admittance into the kingdom, where sorrow and. 
sighing are no more. 

o 2 


On first day, the 28th, we had a meeting 
with the inhabitants of Montrose, which to me 
was a very trying one, believing but a small 
number, in a large gathering of people, wete 
heartily engaged for their own eternal interest. 

On third day, tte SOtli, we had an open and 
satisfactory meeting with some of the inhabi- 
tants of Dundee ; in a part of the town, where 
no meeting of our society bad of late time bee»< 

Eleventh montfi, 1st, and 5th of the week, we 
attended a meeting at Perth, with a small num- 
ber in profession with us, amongst whom we 
had some exercising labour. My mind was led 
much to fear for an individual in particular, 
who, I believed, in days past, had known a be- 
ginning in the spiritual warfare ; but who ap- 
peared in considerable danger of cherishing a 
propensity to be " now made perfect by the 
flesh."* This friend coming to our inn, I had 
an opportunity ^'ith him which proved relieving 
to my mind. The word preached did not ap- 
pear to have much entrance into the hearts of 
i5ome; but blessed be the name of Him, whonx 

* Gal. iii. 3,. 


I desire to serve, not the fruits of our doings, 
but the faithfuhiess of our hearts, commends 
his dedicated servants to his divine acceptance. 

On first day, the 4th, we attended two meet- 
ings with our friends at Glasgow, besides sitting 
w ith them in their preparative meeting. In the 
evening we had a solid opportunity in one of 
their families, when divers others of them were 
present. On second day morning, the way did 
not appear clear to leave them, neither could I 
see enough light upon visiting their^ separate 
families, to admit of my proposing it to my 
dear brother; but I soon found he had more 
fully received the word of command to go 
amongst them in that way. Having felt so much 
as to enable me cordially to unite with him, we, 
without delay, entered into the work, that we 
had cause to believe was assigned us. On fifth 
day, the 8th, we attended a second monthly 
meeting at Edinburgh, where we were renewedly 
led into much exercise. Both our minds were 
so closely arrested in our separate apartments 
this day, as to lead us to suppose we should not: 
"be clear, without attempting to dip a little fur- 
ther into their situation than we could do in* 
their monthly meeting. This we did iu much. 
o 3 


fear, and with an earnest desire to be preserved 
from hurting the pure cause, if we were not 
permitted to promote it, or help our friends ; 
to all of whom we felt much love. On third 
day morning, the 13th, my dear brother and 
myself left Edinburgh, after a little season of 
jetirement, in which we had the company, of 
dear H. Bragg, who had continued with us until 
this time, and was particularly helpful to us ia 
the late arduous engagement. 

On sixth day evening, the l6th, we got to 
Newcastle, and the 17th, rested there; which 
was the first day we had spent since we left 
home, without either religious engagements, or 
travelling, or both. On first day, the 18th, we 
attended two meetings there ; wherein some abi- 
lity was afforded to sympathize with the rightly 
exercised in that place ; and to hand a word of 
encouragement unto such, to hold on in the line 
of manifested' duty, for the promotion of the 
blessed cause in themselves and others. A 
caution was extended to some amongst them, 
to guard against a disposition which might lead 
to procrastination, in the very momentous con- 
cern of preparing for a future existence : and some 
other states present were, I trust, ministered 
^into in the love of the gospel. 


On second day we had a meeting at Benfield- 
side. Third day, after some religious opportu- 
nities at Newcastle, whereto we returned the 
preceding evening, we went to Shields. On 
fourth day, we attended the week-day meeting ; 
and before we left the place in the afternoon, 
had a solemn season of retirement in Henry 
Taylor's family, whose daughter I had felt 
deeply for, she being in a very delicate situa- 
tion ; and, I was apprehensive, not likely to be 
again restored to stronger health. My brother- 
was led to address both her and her father in 
an affectionate, and, I thought, a veiy suitable 
manner ; after which I felt my mind strengthened 
to supplicate at the footstool of Divine mercy, 
that whether it might be consistent with the 
will of Him, who does all things right, to 
lengthen the thread, of life to more advanced 
age, or cut it short in the bloom of youth, her 
way might be clear to the glorious, abode of 
sanctified spirits. 

The five following days we had meetings at 
Sunderland, Durham, Auckland, Staindrop, and 
Cotherstone. On third day, the 27th, we at- 
tended a monthly meeting at Staindrop ; and on 
J&fth day, the 29th; were at the week-day meet- 


ihg at Darliugton, which vre sat throttghout in' 
stiffering silence, except a short sentence, deli- 
vered by my brother, at the close of the meet- 
ing. After some deep wading, and heartfelt 
exercise, we both apprehended the way to ob- 
tain a little relief, pointed towards visiting the 
most active members in their separate families. 
This engagement occupied sixth and seventh 
days. On first day, the 2d of twelfth month, 
we attended the meeting there, which with three 
private religious opportunities that diiy, opened 
the way for our liberation from thence on se- 
cond day; and that evening we went to Stock- 
ton. The next and two following days we were 
at meetings at Norton, Stockton, and Yann. 

In tlfe course of this journey I Ime experi- ' 
«nced many very trying, and in some sort new 
exercises ; and I think those which I have passec^ 
through, in these parts, have sometimes been as 
deeply distressing as any I have ever y€t known : 
but so it must be, where the pure seed is in 
captivity in the hearts of the people ; and a fa- 
vour it is to be found worthy to suffer with a 
crucified Lord. However some rightly exer- 
cised travellers, I believe, are prescinded amongst 
them; for whom I feel near sympathy ; much^ 


desiring they may hold fast their confidence ia 
Hira, whose arm of all-sufficient power, is still 
able to support his humbly depending little 
ones, under all tribulations which they are per- 
mitted to pass through for his pure cause sake. 
Such indeed may be comforted in the gracious 
promise, that " though a woman may forget her 
sucking child, yet the Lord will not forget"* 
those, who are rightly concerned for Zioa's 

On first day, the 9th, we were at Whitby ; 
and on fourth day, the 1 2th, after a meeting at 
Malton, we went to York. Here we staid two 
days with our relations and fviends. On seventh 
day, the 15th, accompanied by HemyTuke, we 
went to Doncaster. We staid first day tliere, 
and attended the meetings, which to me were 
passed in silent exercise. The next morn- 
ing we parted with Henry Tuke, he return- 
ing home, and we going towards Lincoln. 
There, on fourth day, the 19th, we attended a 
quarterly meeting, with a small number of 
friends, to some solid satisfaction. On fifth 
day, we called and spent two or three hour$ 
\\ith our kind and valuable friend Aljce^ Buitt; 
* Isaiah xlix. la. 


at Welbeurn ; and before we parted, we liacf 
renewed cause to acknowledge that the presence 
of the Most High, is not confined to time or 
place ; feeling, with her and her family, such a 
degree thereof, as, I trusty will enable the visi- 
ters and visited to retain a lively remembrance 
one of another. 

On seventh day evening, the 22d, we got t<> 
Wcllijigborough. On first day we attended tho 
meeting there. In the afternoon we Ment to 
Northampton. That evening we attended the 
quarterly meeting of ministers and elders there;, 
and the next day the quarterly meeting for wor- 
ship and discipline^ This to me was a low 
time; yet it did not appear right to withhold 
communicating a little of my small stock of 
spiritual bread to others, though not to much 
relief. But, in the afternoon, just before we 
left the place, in a religious opportunity, in the 
family where ws lodged j several other friends 
being also present, I obtained an increase of 
that substantial food, which enabled me to leave 
tliem in thankfulness and peace. 

We returned to Wellingborough with our' 
much-esteemed friends B. and T. Middleton.. 


011 third day, we attended a weel-day meeting at 
Finedon, and after it, and a season of retirement 
in a family there, we went to Thrapston. On 
fourth day, we reacl>ed Chatteris, where we 
spent a very pleasant evening, ^ith our late 
ancient companion on the Isle of INI an, John 
Batemau; Mho, we thought, appeared to be 
reaping a reward fox his evening's sacrifice. 

On seventh day evening, the 29th, -vve Mere 
favoured to get weU home; and had the satis- 
faction of meeting our relations and friends in 
usual health, and from them a very cordial wel- 
come to Needham again; which, with the mer- 
ciful preservations dispensed to us in our long 
-travel, calls for humble thankfulness to the 
,Author of all our blessings. 

On third day, the 1st of first month, 1805, 
■we attended our monthly meeting at Wood- 
bridge, and retmned our certificates ; m hich, as 
far as related to myself, was under the humi- 
liating sense of unfitness, and incapacity for the 
great work in Nvhich I had believed myself re- 
-quired to engage, for the promotion of the most 
dignified cause M'hich can be espoused on cartli. 
Yet in retiring from the field of labour^ and 


settling dowH at home, my mind, at times, has 
been favoured to partake of a degree of peace- 
ful tranquillity. This is not at our own com- 
mand; and therefore, when it is graciously 
vouchsafed should be accepted with gratitude 
and i>raise, as from the treasury of Him, who 
is a rich rewarder of them that diligently seek 
and serve him, with integrity and uprightnesjj 
•f heart. 



1st Month, 1805, to the 9th Month, 1806. 

E. Gibson's burial, and that of another individual.—- 
Her sister Ann returns her cerfijicatcs. — Quarterly 
meeting. — Accompanies W. Forster^jun. — Quarter!)^ 
meeting. — Earith. 

Within a week after my brother and I had 
leturned from our journey into Scotland, we 
left home again, accompanied by our dear bro- 
ther Dykes, to attend the interment of our 
much beloved friend Elizabeth Gibson, of 
Saffron Walden, who Avas removed after about 
a M'eek's illness. She was far advanced in life, 
being in the seventy-sixth year of her age. Her 
faculties, both spiritual and natural, remaining 
-very bright to the last, she will be much missed 
in the militant church ; yet, as there is no dou bt 
of her happy admittance into the church tri- 
imiphant, we have no cause, on her account, to 
mourn ; believing she was ripe for a glorious 
transition from the troubles of time to the joys 
of eternity. She was permitted to put off mor- 
tality in a remarkably easj- manner, without the 
Jeast apparent..suffering at tlie final cjosej 


Many friends from different parts attended? 
and the meeting, in the early part of it, was 
«olemn. "Under this precious feeling, ^ear Mary 
Pryor of Hertford, delivered a very lively and heart 
tendering testimony ; but for want of all keeping 
their proper ranks, 1 believe we lost, in some 
measure, the favour designed for us by the great 
Head of the Church ; yet the meeting was per- 
mitted to end under ^.covering of good. And 
at the grave side, an awful silence prevailed, 
and two short testimonies were there, delivered, 
before wecjuitted the.v.eiTiJiips of the dear de* 

In the twelfth month this year, my i)rotIier 
Samuel and myself attended the interment of 

-, — , qnd had cause to. believe, that after all 

the yjci^situdes he iiad .been j>erinitted to ex- 
perience, during his long pilgrimage here, both 
in spiritual and temporal concems,,he was mer- 
cifully favoured to know his tran^ressions to go 
befme-hand to judgment, and to obtain a seat 
within the glorious confines of eternal felicity. 
AVe had a solid meeting on the occasion, and I 
believe divers minds present, were led seriously 
to consider their latter end. And some of us 
were enabled to feel a tribute of ihankfuhj^Ssg 


ialsed in our hearts unto Him, whose " mercy 
endureth for ever."* 

At our monthly and quarterly meetings in" 
this montli,, my beloved sister Ann Alexander, 
delivered up tlxe certificates she had received 
iVom these meetings, in order to visit America, 
and produced several testimonies from thence 
of Jier acceptable services in that land. She 
also spread before us a humble, lively, and ani- 
mating account of her exercises, merciful pre- 
servations, and divine support; acknowledging 
to the sufficiency and goodness of that power, 
who had enabled her to leave all and follow 
him, and who had brought her home in peace. 

Sixth month, 1806^. For a considerable I'uue 
past, my mind has mostly been permitted to 
know a season of deep depression, and great de- 
privation of religious comfojt. In this state I 
went to our quarterly meeting held at Ipswich, 
this week ; where I was favoured, in some of 
the sittings thereof, to experience a revival of 
gracious communion with the Father of spirits, 
w hich, in my drooping condition, was a renewed 
jnark of his merciful condescension, that calls 
* Psalm 136, 


for humble gratitude. In our women's meeting);^. 
I felt strengthened to advocate the noble cause 
we were met to promote ; and, towards the close 
of it, my heart and knees were bowed in awful 
thankfulness, to the great Master of all rightly 
gathered assemblies. I apprehend we were fa- 
voured with rather an unusual covering of good| 
under this we closed, and I trust many of us 
were enabled to separate one from another with 
a tribute of praise to the bountiful Dispenser of 
his own precious gifts. In a* more tlian com- 
mon manner, has the consolation of that day, 
been permitted to continue uninterruptedly with 
jiie. Oh ! that I may prove a grateful receiver 
of this most desirable visitant ; and stand unre- 
servedly resigned to all the future dispensations 
of his unerring wisdom and goodness, saith my 
soul, Amen. 

In the forepart of the seventh month, T ac- 
companied Wm. Forster, jun. to several public 
meetings vithin the compass of our monthly 
meeting ; and towards the close of it, I met him, 
at Tivetshail, and was with him a few days 
while he was in that neighbourhood, engaged iti 
the same weighty service. This I had reason 
to believe he was favoured to feci very im-- 


portaiit ; in an especial manner for one so young 
in years, and so recently called to a public 
espousal of the cause of righteousness 3nd peace. 
Though the meetings he appointed were not all 
owned with the same degree of Divine influ- 
ence; yet, I think, there was not one, either 
about us, or in Norfolk, that I could doubt 
the rectitude of his holding. Some of them 
were in a very precious manner sanctioned by 
the presence t)f the glorious Shepherd of Israel. 
Yea, it sometimes rejoiced my heart to see and 
f€el one in the days of youth, so dedicated to 
the most noble cause, and so strengthened to 
espouse it. Humbly do I crave that the bleS" 
sing of preservation may be his happy experi- 
ence. May ability be granted to keep near to his 
holy Director, that thereby he may be favoured 
to detect our common enemy, in all his appear- 
ances ; and so the good work begim in his heart, 
may be carried on to the praise of Him, " vvhosfe 
reward is with him, to give every man accord^ 
ihg as his work shall be."* Tlie " Alpha and 
Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and" 
the last." The all in all to those who serve 
fiim with integrity. 

* Rev. xxii. 15, 
P .3- 


In the retrospect of the time Me spent toge- 
ther, my mind has sometimes been permitted to 
possess such a portion of tranquiUity, as leads 
me to hope I was not moving out of my right 
allotment, in endeavouring to hold up the hands 
of this my junior friend, under the exercise 
which I believe he was called to bear by the 
great Father of the spiritual family, 

Ninth month, 27th. At our quarterly meet-^ 
ing last week, very different was my situation, . 
to that which I experienced in the foregoing 
one. I think T have not often, if ever, sat 
through the several sittings of a quarterly meet- 
ing with so little truly religious feeling. But I 
believe many others were permitted to obtain a 
morsel of spiritual food ; both immediately from 
Him, who is to his people, "meat indeed,"* and 
through the ministry of some rightly qualified^ 
servants. Many are the dispensations expedient: 
for some to pass through, in order to become 
altogether sanctified and meet for the kingdom^ 
luideriled. Oh ! gracious Father, suffer not thy.. 
Ihrand to spare, until all in me is removed which-^, 
is contrary to thy pure and blessed will! 

♦ John vi. 53, 


After the quarterly meeting, though in a tried 
and stripped state of mind, I went with my 
l^rother Samuel, in order to attend the marriage 
of Lovell Squire and Sarah Brown, at Earith. 
There, on the day of their union, I apprehended 
I received some small commission to espouse 
the good cause; but in so much feebleness as 
to lead me to fear the rectitude of my move- 
ments : however, at the close of theevening, I was 
mercifully favouied to believe I had done what 
"Has my duty to do, and no more, which afforded 
a ray of comfort, to my drooping mmd. Since 
our return home, though still low and poor, I. 
feel satisfied that 1 complied with my brother's-^ 
request, to accompany him. Much do I desire 
the dear young people, who are just entermg 
into life, and M'hom i much esteem, may be 
disposed to " seek first the kingdom of God, and 
his righteousness;"* unto which state is sub-- 
joined the gracious promise, that, ail Qtber^v 
jaiecessary blessings shall be added. 

* Mat, vi. 33, 



£d of 12th Month, 1506, to the 8th of 4th Montb^ 1807, 

Rejections on a prospect of visit mg London and Middk' 
sex quarterly meeting, S^c. — Tottenham. — Ptaistoxv, 
—•Tottenham — Southgate. — Grace - Church - Street- 
Vionthly meeting. — Colchester, 

l<>th Month, 3d, 1800. 

Yesterday I found strength to unfold to my. 
friends, at our monthly meeting, a religious, 
prospect which has long been weighty before 
me, to visit the families of friends in three 
of the monthly meetings, constituting a part of 
London and Middlesex quarterly meeting, viz. 
Grace-Church-Street, Tottenham, and Bark;- 
ing ; extending also to some other services, par- 
ticularly to visiting, the- families of friends at 

Awful indeed has been, and still continues to 
be, the view of this very important engage- 
ment. The prohibition which I feel to take- 
any thought about a help meet for- the workj, 
lias, at times, added to the weight thereof; yet^ 
at some other seasons; when. I am enabled to» 


attain to that state of pure submission, v.hereiu 
I can say to him who is infinite in wisdom and 
goodness, " Not my m ill, but thine be done,"* 
I have sweetly felt, ability to adopt as my own^, 
an expression of Job Scott's : " Quietness, as 
a canopy covers my mind." When this calming 
influence prevails, I feel an unshaken persuasion 
that all things needful will be provided. Oh! 
ihat my mind may be preserved so steadily 
fixed on the immovable Rock, that whatever 
adverse gales may be permitted to blow, my 
trust and hope therein may prove " as- an anchor 
of the soul, both sure and stedfast."^: I can 
hitherto acknowledge the goodness of Him, 
who, I humbly trust, hath called for this surren- 
der of my will to his all-wise disposal, in having 
granted me a little portion of peace, since dis- 
closing to my friends a willingutss once more, 
in this way, to prove my attuchment to that 
cause, which I sometimes ieel dearer to me than 
my natural life. 

At present, it is my expectation to commence 
the visit with attending Tottenham monthly 
meetings at Waltham Abbey, on fifth day, the 
8Ui of the first month, ISO?. 

* LusE xxii, 42. $ Hee. vi.. 19^ 


Tottenham, second day, 12th erf first month. 

This evening I have parted with my brothci' 
Samuel, Mho, in> his wonted kindness, accom- 
panied me from home last third day, and the 
next afternoon we reached this place. On fifth 
day we attended the monthly meeting at Wal- 
tham Abbey, where I produced my certiiicate, 
and, I trust, obtained the sympathy of some of 
my brethren and sisters in this part of the vine- 
yard. I had also the satisfaction to find my friend 
W. Forster, jun. was bound to a part of the fa- 
milies hereabouts. We commenced our visit 
©n sixth day morning, ^lien my brother left me 
for two days, and we met again at Winshmort^ 
hill on first day. We all attended the meeting 
there, and in the evening had a large assembly 
of tlaose not in profession with us. This morn- 
ing we all were at the meeting of ministers and 
ciders in London, and came to Tottenham to 
dinner. "\\' ith so weighty a prospect before me, 
it feels pinching to part with one, who, both in 
natural and religious bonds, is so near to my 
heart, as mv dear brother Samuel. But on that 
Arm of Power which hath hitherto supported, 
I desire to rely. Humbly craving his holy aid, 
quietly to endure every dispensation of his gra- 
cious Providence, both in heights and in depths.. 

' ftfARY AXEXANDER. 177 

1?laIsto\v, third day, 20th of first montL 

Though I had not got through my engage- 
ments in Tottenham quarter, I fe?lt bound to 
attend a monthly meethig here to-day. After 
tSie reading of my certificate in both meetings, 
a committee was appointed m eacii, to render 
the needful assistance in the performance of my 
engagements in Barking quarter ; and, ha a con- 
ference which I have had with the joint com- 
mittee, I ventured to open a little prospect I 
have for some ' time seen, ^of having the com- 
pany of my friends John and Tabitha Bevans, 
in the families hereabouts. I also then iufoi-med 
my friends, that I expected to visit this monthly 
meeting before I returned to Tottenham, and 
to commence the. engagement to-morrow morn- 
ing. My proposals were cordially received, 
and united with by the committee; J. andT. B. 
being of the number, and acquiescing with the 
part which more particularly applied to them. 
AH this proved relieving for the moment: but, 
alas ! my mind, this evening, is so reduced and 
brought into cleep -exercise, tliat I scarcely am 
■able to believe I ever was acquainted with the 
-:voice of the Good Shepherd. I am almost 
'leady to conclude tiiat all I have felt concern- 


ing my present awful engagement, and every 
thing of a similar nature, have had their origin 
in the grand deceivei- of mankind, who cares not 
by what bait he prevails over the children of 
men to follow him, thereby alienating the soul 
from the bountiful source of all substantial 
good. ,Oh! Tliou who canst search the secret 
recesses of every heart, permit me to know thy 
blessed will, before I get so entangled with the 
power of darkness, as, in any wise, to bring re- 
proach on thy precious cause, which thou 
knowest is more dear to me than ray natural 
life; for this I could willingly surrender this 
night, ratlicr than remain here to harm the pure 
testimony of truth. 

Tottenham, third day, 3d of second month. 

"Yesterday I closed my visit to Barking 
monthly meeting, and retumed here, accom- 
panied by my very kind friends, John andTabitha 
Eevans, whose company and help in the work, 
together w ith the great kindness 1 experienced 
under their hospitable roof, both from them- 
selves and their three daughters, 1 hope long to 
retain in grateful remembrance : and as I helieve 
my beloved fnends, parents and children, were 
much disposed to aid me, a poor piignni; in the 


name of a disciple, may they be permitted to 
receive a reward for the work's sake. Tliough 
I feel indeed but an unprofitable servant; yet, 
with a humble heart, I can acknowledge that not' 
withstanding some of the closest baptisms I ever 
passed through, were permitted me whilst with 
them, I also knew some seasons of heavenly fa- 
vour ; I think some, wherein my mind was as 
nearly united to the Beloved of souls, as at any 
time in my life. Yesterday morning, after a re* 
ligious opportvmity with the two handmaids in J. 
Bevan's family, who are not in profession witli 
us, my mind could rejoice in believing, beyond 
a doubt, that the allotted portion of labour in 
that part was finished. Then I thankfully felt 
it to be an eternal truth, that though many are 
the afflictions of those who are sent forth on the 
great Master's errands, yet as the heart is kept 
singly dependant on his arm of power, be will 
most assuredly deliver out of them all ; and 
grant a crown of life, as a reward to all who are 
faithfully engaged to hold out to the end, in do- 
ii)g his will. Thus, after the various conflicting 
seasons hitherto permitted me to experience, I 
am enabled to thank thee, oh Father ! for thy 
mercies past^ and humbly hope for thy gracious 


jnotection, under every future dispensation of 
thy will. 

Fourdi day, 4th. To-day is the monthly meet- 
ing at Grace-Church-Street.; and for some days 
past I have been endeavouring to know whether 
it would be rigiit for me to attend it ; but I have 
jiot been able to see any light upon going ; and 
feeling mucli indisposed in my health, a day or 
two of rest under this roof, my cousin William 
Porster's, is very salutary to my enfeebled frame. 
As I have not seen my way to go to London tor- 
day, I have forwarded my certificate to J. G. 
Bevan, to present it to the montiily meeting; 
though I undoubtedly believe it will be right 
for me to finish my engagements in this part 
before 1 leave this place again ; and as my 
friend Alice Chorley, an elder of this meeting, 
has kindly proposed accompanying me for a few 
days, I hope to be enabled to enter afresh intQ 
this field of labour after the monthly meeting 
here to-morrow. 

'Dius far, in the accomplishment of the ar^- 
duous prospect with which 1 left home, 1 have 
had abundant cause to acknowledge, that aljl 
things needful have, to my humbling admiiation, 


been provided; and, therefore, I dare not dis^ 
trust the bountiful hand^ which hath aheady 
dispensed so liberally. However, awful indeed 
does the approaching engagemen't appear, of 
going amongst the largest body of friends I have 
ever visited, in this individual way, without the 
most distant expectation of a companion in the 
work : but I marvel to find the calm resignation, 
Avhich my mind is mercifully favoured at times 
to experience, in looking towards this important 
part of my present mission. Yea, I am ready 
to believe, that nothing, short of the sustaining 
Arm of everlasting mercy, could uphold me un- 
der what I now have in view. I therefore feel 
bound to adore Him, committing myself once 
more to his holy guidance. 

Fifth day morning, 5th of the 2d Month. 

J. G. Bevan has just been here, and informed 
me, on returning my certificate, that their 
monthly meeting is adjourned till next fourth 
day, which gives me concern, having no expec- 
tation of being liberated from these parts, so 
soon as that time : but, for the present, I wish 
to leave much thoughtfulness on this subject, 
endeavouring to do what appears right in my 
allotment in this part of the work. 
Q 3 


Evening. At the meeting-house to-day, I 
met a letter from my friend Mary Pryor, in 
which she expresses herself in these words :— 
" Believing a iwcessity laid on me, I venture to 
offer accompanying thee on thy visit to the fa- 
milies of Grace-Church-Street meeting." So 
unexpected a proposal, and one so truly ac- 
ceptable, raised a tribute of thankfulness in my 
heart to Him, vjho, I humbly trust, has bound 
tiiis, my dear ancient friend, again to evince her 
attachment to his pure cause, and unite with a 
little sister in this great work. 

Tottenham, fourth day, lllh. 

To-day I have attended the adjourned monthly 
meeting at Grace-Church-Street, where I iur 
formed my friends of the prospect I have of a 
companion, who is not likely to be at liberty 
from her own monthly meeting, before this day 
week; and also that I did not feel myself at 
present fully clear of this quarter. My inforr 
mation w as cordially received, and friends kindly 
adjourned again, until tifth day, the IQth, for our 
accommodation; which feels relieving to my 
mind, believing by that time 1 shall be favoured 
to see my way to depart hence ; where I have 
for a long time been very affectionately cared 


for, by my much esteemed friends and relatives 
of this family. 

Southgate, fourth day, 18th.> 

I have now visited all the meetings, and fa- 
milies of friends in Tottenham monthly meeting, 
except two or three individuals who are not at 
home, and a few others, who do not incline to 
receive such a visit. I have also had a few 
public meetings ; the last was held yesterday- 
evening at MimmS; in a meeting-houss belong- 
ing to friends. 

In the course of my engagements in this 
quarter, mourning and lamentation have been 
much more frequently the covering of my spirit, 
than any thing like rejoicing. Yet, I verily be^ 
lieve, there is a precious few, who are sweetly 
preserved loyal to the King of kings. May their 
hands grow stronger and stronger in the holy 
warfare; and may the number of upright hearted 
standard-bearers, be increased amongst them. 

Fourth day, 4th of third month. 

We have now been nearly two weeks xevy 
elosely engaged in our arduous service of visits 
2 5 


ing families of friends in Grace-Church-Street 
monthly meeting : and my beloved and honour- 
able companion and myself, have hitherto been 
enabled to move along in much harmony and 
concord. I feel it very relieving to my exercised, 
and often deeply tried mind, to have the com- 
pany and help of one whose religious expsnence 
Las been much larger than my own. One who, 
after so long a warfare under the banner of the 
Captain of salvation, can frequently testify that he 
is worthy to be obeyed to the utmost of our 
ability : that verily his " yoke is easy, and his 
burden light."* I think I never could more feel- 
ingly subscribe to the same gracious trulh, than 
since the commencement of the present engage- 
ment; for though, at times, the faithful labourer 
must be brought into a state of bondage, when 
and where the pure seed, is kept in captivity;, 
yet it is a favour to be fouud worthy to suffer 
with a suffering Lord. I believe all the exer- 
cises which dedicated minds may be permitted 
lo pass through, for themselves and tor others, 
are not so great as those which are often iixir 
posed, by the enemy of all good, upon such as 
are pursuing the vain and delusive pleasures of 
ihe world. 

* Mat. xi. 30, 


Second day, 16th of third month. 

Yesterday my much beloved companion left 
me, after our. attending the morning meeting at 
Grace-Church-Street, and having a solid seasoii- 
of religious retirement, at Joseph Savory's, 
where we were nearly a month very kindly 
cared for, by him, his wife, and daughter Mary. 
Mary Pryor went that evening to Hertford, in 
order to attend the select quarterly meeting 
there, in the evening. We M'ere favoured to part 
under a feeling of that unity, which had been 
mercifully vouchsafed to us during our late en- 
gagement. A tribute of humble gratitude was 
raised in our hearts to the boimtifui Giver of 
every blessmg, for the support which had been, 
fiom time to time granted us ; and for the holy 
aid which, m a peculiar, manner, was in some 
families dispensed to us, to advocate his pre- 
cious cause. This, on the bended knees, was 
vocally acknowledged by my dear friend, and 
heartily subscriljed unto by myself, in prostra- 
tion of soul before the Most High ; and a song 
of praise lived in my heart through the remain- 
ing part of the day. 

To-morrow I expect to reach Colciiester, 
•^here^ the ne.\t day, 1 hope to meet my dear 


friend Martha Brewster, who is liberated by her 
friends at home, to accompany me through the 
families in that monthly meeting, and to visit 
some other meetings ia Essex- 
Colchester, seventh day, £8th of the third raonthrf 

We have nearly got through our visit to the 
ferailies of friends in this monthly meeting. 
And my beloved companion M. B. and myself,, 
have harmonized in our feeble endeavours to- 
promote the holy cause among our fellow pro- 
fessors hereabouts; many of whom we cannot 
but covet may know an increased dedication of- 
heart to the pure unfoldings of heavenly love. By. 
this means, they would become strengthened to 
stand faithful to the various testimonies given us 
as a people, to uphold to the world. We have felt, 
our nnnds animated and comforted in beholding 
tlie upright zeal, which clothes our ancient and 
honourable friend and father in the church, 
dear John Kendall, under whose roof we have 
been kindly accommodated during our tarriancs 

On second day, the 30th, we left Colchester, 
and went to Dunniow, where, the next day, we 
attended a monthly meeting, and; taking meetings 


in our way at Stanstead, Bardfield, and Sudbury, 
we reached Ipswich on 2d day, the 6th of fourth 
month. On third day, we attended the monthly 
meeting there, when I delivered up my certificate ; 
tmd had cause to acknowledge, that although I 
have parsed through some very pinching trials, 
and some seasons of close exercise; yet, that 
holy h0lp has been near in the time of need. 
In the remembrance theieof, my soul feels re- 
newedly bowed in thankfulness to the gj?€at 
Author of every blessing. 

I returned home on fourth day, the 8th ; and 
though the sensible enjoyment of divine accep- 
tance is much withheld, I feel, at times, ability 
to adopt the language of the psalmist, where he 
says : " Bless the Lord, O my soul ; and all 
that is within me bless his holy name. Bless 
the Lord, O my soul, and Jbr^et not all his 
he?iefits." * f 

* Psalm ciii. 1, 2, 



21st of nil Month, 1808, to theSftli of SthMontli, iSO^t. 

Ports xdtk her nephews W. H. A. and J. A. — ivith her 
sister Ann and brother IV ill'ia7M.-— Visit to heads uf 
families in her oxen monthly meeting. '^York.^^Rc- 
turns home throygh Lincolnshire, 

1808. Fifth day, the 21st of seventh month. 

'Diis day William Henry Alexander) and hiy 
trother Josepii, left Needham for Broughton. 
A separation which, to my affectionate feelings,. 
is veiy pinching, having no expectation of ever 
seeing mnch more of them. They have always 
been exceedingly dear to me for their beloved- 
parents' sake; and, at present, there is much in- 
the precious boys also to attach me closely to 
them. The prayer of my heart is, that what- 
ever may be their future allotment in life, if they^ 
should be permitted to arrive at a*tate of maturi- 
ty, they may be preserved within the limitation* 
of the pure truth, and so dedicated to the most 
noble cause, as to be found worthy to become 
standard-bearers in our Israel, when many of 
tliose, who now feel the weight of the Ark of. 
our testimonies resting on their shoulders, shall, 
be called from works to rewards. Ameu. 


At Bury, on the 2 1st of the ninth moiith, I 
vtook leave of my beloved sister Ann Alexandei-, 
under a feeling of very near regard ; she intend- 
ing to go forward tiience towards York. This 
was another parting which very closely tried my 
tenderest feelings; but a degree of quiet whvch 
I believe Avas not at my own command, accom- 
panied my mind in my journey home, which 
Avas cause of humble gratitude to Him, Avho is 
able to say unto the troubled sea, " Peace, be 
still."* It is a pleasant reflection, that during 
the time of our i«siding in the same place, a 
precious harmony was uniformly maintained 
between us ; and much do I desire that though 
'■we are now likely to be far separated in bod}-, 
.we may know that durable cement, true unity 
.of spirit, which is the bond of lasting peace. 

On fifth day afternoon, the 13th of tenth 
;month, my beloved brotlicr Wm. Alexander left 
jS^eedham, hi^ative place, with a prospect of 
.settling at York. Tliis was to me a closely 
trying separation, from one to whom by the ties 
of natural affection, and the still more uniting 
bond of religious kinship, I have, from early 
life, to the present time, felt very nearly at- 
iiachcd. His removal with tliat of his endeared 
* Makk iv. 59. 


companion in life, and their precious cliiklrea^ 
has made a chasm in our domestic circle here, 
^\hich I cannot expect ever to see filled up to 
me : yet, as 1 believe my beloved brother and 
sister, are entrusted with qualifics^tions adapted 
to their new situation, I feel something which 
forbids my repining at the loss, which, as an 
individual, I have sustained by their departuie; 
though I have felt, and still do feel, so inti- 
mately bound to them, that the separation is 
one of my most bitter cups. But though these 
dear objects of my love are so far removed, as 
to preclude all probability of much more sweet 
and social intercourse witli them, I am fully 
aware that I have cause still to nuniber 
my remaining blessings, both in a religious and 
domestic point of view. And my heart's desire 
is, to stand so unreservedly dedicated to the 
Author of them all, as to feel a capacity to 
know, what I shall rendej- for^iis multiplied 

* As her own memorandums furnish bnf few remarks on 
the period contained in this chapter, the following extract 
from a letter to a near relative, dated 21st, IJth month, 1808, 
may be acceptable to the reader. After stating that a heavy 
fall of snow had prevented many friends from getting to the 
quarterly meeting, particularly from the western side of the 
county, she says, " We had not one from that quarter ia 


4809. Third day, the 10th of the first month. 

I have lately been engaged with divers other 
friends, by appointment of our monthly meet- 
ing, in compliance with a recommendation of 
the last yearly meeting, in paying a visit to the 
heads of families, on the important subject of 
tlie fourth query.* Though I have not felt the 
weight of the work so to rest upon my sliout- 
ders, as 1 believe it has rested on some of my 
fellow-labourers ; yet, since the close of the en- 
gagement, I have been permitted to review my 
movements with them, in a degree of humble 
confidence that it was my desire, when I could do 
nothing for the promotion of the cause which I 

the select meeting, and not a representative in the women's 
laeetino;, though four were appointed. Thou wilt suppose 
such a deprivation just now, miist prove particularly trying 
to some of us. Indeed I cannot describe wliat my feenngs 
were, when I found how our Utfle company was likeiv to 
be deserted : but, with thankfulness we may ackuovvled.^e^ 
tliongh we were deprived of divers of our friends, whose 
presence would have gladdened our hearts, yet the gr^-at 
President of our assemblies condescfnded to afford a re-. 
Hewal of his ancient goodness, and enabled some of our 
s])iiits to bow in reverence at his sacred footstool, and lOi,^ 
plore the continuance of his fatherly prole ctiun." 

* This query is the third te wowen fiiends. 



love more than life, I might be preserved from ilo- 
ing any thing, that could, in any Avise, weaken the 
hands of those with w horn I have been banded, and 
to w horn I felt bound in near gospel fellowship. 
And I believe, in the close of our visit, we have, 
individually and unitedly, had cause to acknow^ 
ledge that a portion of solid satisfaction, has 
been the recompence of our resignation to thig 
delegation of the church. 

Fourth day, 21st of sixth month. 

Tliough my present motive in leaving liome, 
is a social visit to my endeared relatives at 
York, yet I feel desirous of dwelling so near to 
the pure spring of eternal excellency, as to be 
permitted to accompany with the incorruptible 
seed of the kingdom ; whether in suffering or re- 
joicing : and I crave the blessing of preservation 
])oth in heights and in depths. 

First day, 27th of eighth month. 

Last fiflh day evening I reached home, after 
an absence of nine weeks and one day. Greatest 
part of the time has been spent with my dear bro- 
ther and sister at York. My brother S. Alexan- 
der, met me at Ackworth general meeting, and I 
returned witli liim to York ; after which we ipft 


tlie county by Hull and Thorne; and from the 
latter went into Lincolnshire, where we visited 
all the meetings except two, which were taken 
by my brother, in his way into Yorkshire. In 
leaving home, I had no expectation of engaging- 
in religious service ; yet my beloved brother 
going out with a prospect of visiting the 
above meetings, and intimating it to our monthly 
meeting, I have felt well satisfied Vvith the op- 
portunity of accompanying him therein. I trust 
some of the little flock, where our lots have been 
cast, have been encouraged to pursue the one 
thing needful, with increasing vigilance ; and our 
own minds strengthened renewedly to acknow- 
ledge the goodness and mercy of a faithful 
Creator, who is ever ready to uphold in every 
reason of tiiul, his humbly dependent children. 

E S 


\Containiitg some account of her last journey, also of her 
illness and decease. 

The reader will probably have noticed a con- 
siderable chasm between the two last chapters ; 
for concerning this period the Editor does not find 
any memorandum of her own. This might arise 
from her not being particularly engaged in ad- 
vocating that cause which she evinced to be so 
dear to her^ yet there is reason to believe, thai 
during this, and the remaining time, of which, 
she relates but few occurrences, her mind was 
prepanng for the engagement iu which she 
closed her faithfid labours. 

Although much gospel service was not her 
allotment in these periods, yet she was very use- 
fully occupied ; many times, and on divers oc- 
casions, in kind assistance to some of her near 
relatives, whose situation claimed her skijful 
•care, as an affectionate nurse and attendant.— 
One of these was our beloved niece, Lucy Bar- 
ton, whom she attended at the time of her de- 
cease, iu the summer of 1808.* 

* For an account of Lncy Barton, see the lOtU part of 
Piety Fromoied. 


I come now to relate some particulars of her 
last religious journey, the sequel of which 
deeply affects my heart ; yet, I hope, with resigv 
nation to unerring Wisdom, who has seen meet 
to cut her work short in righteousness. 

She left home, with the full unity and concur- 
rence of her friends, on the 26th of the tenth 
month, 1809, under a concern to visit the fami- 
lies of friends at Worcester, and to hold some 
meetings in those parts. She was accompanied 
to Worcester by her brother and sister Jesup. la 
a letter to her brother Samuel, from Warwick, 
after speaking of two friends calling on her at 
Bury at Martha Brewster's, she says, " Before 
we left that quiet dwelling, my beloved ]SI, B. in 
a little season of solid retirement, had a morsel 
to hand, which proved to my deeply discouraged 
mind, for some hours after, truly consoling : 
yet, I have repeatedly, since that time, experi- 
enced my faith to be, as it were, smaller tlian 
tlie grain of mustard seedj and I have been 
almost ready to doubt the rectitude of my present 
undertaking. At some other times a portion of 
holy aid, has, in mercy, been so far extended 
as to lead me to hope I have not run without, 
Ibeing sen^.'* 

Tv 3 


" Tliat evening we reached Hannah Evens^ 
hospitable habitation in good time for tea ; 
and Avere not entirely unexpected. We staid 
the meeting next day, and left Godmanchester, 
about two o'clock, for Wellingborough ; where, 
from a letter I hope thou receivedst from Eliza- 
beth Wheeler, I suppose you had anticipated an 
awful meeting with our beloved friends Benjamin 
Middleton and his daughters. We had not obtainr 
ed the smallest intimation of the situation of the 
family till we got into the house, when we were 
met by cousin Wheeler, whose countenance 
plainly indicated something important. Greatly 
surprised we were, on being mformed that, after 
two weeks illness, our much esteemed friend, 
Tabitha Middleton, had, last 4th day, closed her 
valuable life. Dear Benjamin and his children 
revived us with much composure, and we spent 
a very interesting evening in the house of 
•mourning. Before we left them this morning, 
I felt bound to yield to a season of retirement, 
and in it to offer the tribute of sympathy which 
lived in my heart towards them, accompanied 
■with a persuasion, that not only a glorious man- 
sion was prepared for the dear deceased; but 
that those who remained to lament her depar- 
ture, were in a particular manner under the 
protecting wing of ancient Goodness." 


At Worcester she was joined by William 
Forster, jun. (then in those parts on religious 
service) with a view of entering upon the ardu- 
ous engagement of visiting fnaids of that city 
hi their families. At a monthly meeting held 
there the 26th of the tenth month : they pre- 
sented their certificates, and opened their pro- 
spect, which met the concurrence of friends. 
The next morning they entered upon, the work ; 
and proceeded without intermission., as to any 
other religious engagement, till the first day 
week following, the 5th of the eleventh month ; 
when they had a large public meeting in friends 
meeting-house, appointed with a view, princi- 
pally, to the lower class of the inhabitants of 
that place. The next evening they had a meet- 
ing in a parish on the other side of the river; 
and, on 3d day morning, the 7 th, attended ano- 
ther public meeting in friends meeting-house 
appointed under a concern for the higher classes 
of the people. That evening they finished the 
family visit in Worcester. Tlie testimonial 
sent from that monthly meeting to the monthly 
meeting of which she was a member, may be 
the best criterion, by which to judge of the sa- 
tisfaction this visit afforded to her friends. An 
extract from it will be found at the close of this 

193 Some account op. 

As her labours, at this period, were hastening, 
to a close, perhaps a minute recital of the oc- 
cupation of her time, though sometimes unat- 
tended with any particular observations, may be 
acceptable to the reader. Oiv 4th day morning, 
the 8th of the ele\enth month, W. Forster, jun. 
and herself, attended a public meeting at Mal- 
vern, and one in the evening at Upton on Severn; 
and that night Avent to Tewksbury. On 5tli 
day forenoon, they were at a meetmg of frienda 
of that town ; had a meeting at Per shore that 
evening, and reached Evesham the same night. 
On sixth day evening they had a meetmg on the, 
premises of a friend at Nethertou, about fouF 
miles from Evesham. The next morning they 
returned there and called upon several friends 
in their families; and tha'; evening were at a 
public meeting, a mile and a half out of the 

On 1st day morning, the IClh, they were at a 
meeting with friends at Evesham ; and, in friends^ 
meeting-house, in the evening, they had a very 
crowded meeting with the inhabitants. Before 
she went to bed, my dear sister felt herself 
much indisposed, but did not make much com- 
plaint. The next day her companion thought 


her very unwell ; but in the afternoon they went 
to Alcester, and, in the evening, attended a large 
and satisfactory meeting in the Town-Hall; to- 
wards the close of which, she was engaged in 
solemn supplication. They walked nearly a 
mile to a friend's house to lodge. There she 
appeared much exhausted with fatigue, went to 
bed very unwell, and passed a restless night. 
The next morning, the 14th, they returned into 
the town, and had three sittings among friends 
in their families, in which, although very un- 
well, she took an acceptable part. In the after- 
noon, they returned to the friend's house at which 
they had lodged ; and, in the evening, had an 
opportunity in tlie family, in which she was 
strengthened to labour under considerable exer- 
cise of mind. She was rather more unwell be- 
fore she went to bed, and had another poor 
night. Two meetings were appointed for the 
following day, the loth, and it was pretty much 
concluded, over night, for her to give up that 
in the morning at Broomsgrove, and to meet 
William in the evening at Droitwich. On ar- 
riving at the latter place, however, he was sur- 
prised and affected to find that, accompanied 
by Candia Burlingham, who had been her com- 
panion since leaving Eveham, she was gone oa 


to Worcester in a post-chaise; finding- herself 
so ill, as to wish to get on as fast as she couM. 
Tliey arrived at Worcester in the evening, A^here 
she was violently affected with sickness, bnt her 
complaiut was deemed bilious, as she was sub- 
ject to such a disorder. That night she passed 
without much sleep ; and the next morning an 
eruption appeared. She first discovered it herself 
and said, " Surely I have got the small-pox,'* 
adding, " I believe I know when I took it; iioni 
a little child whom I met in the street previously 
to leaving Worcester." An apothecary was 
called in, who pronounced the disorder to be 
the small-pox. He thought she had treated 
herself judiciously, and spoke very encourage- 
ingly of the symptoms. Her sister Jesup, who 
was returned to Worcester from a visit in Wilt- 
shire, also thought it of a large and favourable 

She did not appear at all alarmed at finding 
the disorder was the small-pox; although, in 
early life, she had felt much dread of it; but 
expressed great concern at the trouble she was 
likely to bring on her cousins Thomas and Eliza 
Burlingham's family, feeling very tenderly for 
them. That afternoon Wm. Forster, jun, who waa 


about to write to one of iier brothers, at her 
request, went up and sat awhile with her. Slie 
desired her very dear love to her brother and 
isister, and wished William to say, " That 
.although she had passed through a greater de- 
gree of exercise and suffering than ever she had 
experienced in the same space of time, accom- 
panied with less evidence of divine acceptance; 
yet, that afternoon, she thought she had been 
favoured with a precious evidence, that she had 
been there (alluding to her late visit) in better 
■wisdom than her owil This, she said, had 
tended to quiet the anxiety with which she was 
■at first tried, in considering the difficulty and 
perplexity she might occasion to others; and 
she humbly trusted it might prove as a little 
anchorage to her mind in seasons of future 

She further remarked that it looked probable 
she might get through the disorder; but added, 
■" I feel no wish respecting it." On William 
Forsler, jum asking her, just before he left the 
room, hov*' she was, she replied, " I am as com- 
fortable as I can be." At that time she was 
*(uite free from pain, except a little fullness in 
hcv throiit. 


In the evening, speaking of the public meet- 
ing at Alcester, she remarked what a comfortable 
one it was, and said, " 1 little thought it would 
be the last." Tlien pausing awhile, added, 
'' Probably." She then observed that it was 
trying to her to be so far from her relations; 
but added, " The cause is dearer to me than my 
natural life." 

As soon as her complaint was determined to 
be the small-pox, her cousins T. and E. Bur- 
lingham left their house and went over the way 
to his father's, on account of their infant son. 
The next morning, 6th day, the 17th, some 
family arrangements were made, which, in ad- 
dition to the kindness and cheerfulness with 
which her dear relatives gave up their house for 
her accommodation, appeared quite to relieve 
her mind from all anxiety. 

After this her head and throat became very 
painful; and the difficulty of swallowing, and 
even of breathing, were very alarming ; and she 
herself thought she should never be able to 
swallow again ; but, by proper application^ 
'tliese symptoms were much relieved. 


At different times, in the course of her deeply 
trying iUness, she wouki say, " It vvoukl he a 
liudness to let me «ink quietly away, rather than 
keep me in this state of suffering ;" yet she fre- 
quently expressed herself veiy gratefully to those 
Mho nursed her ; sometimes saying, " she hoped 
they would be rewai'ded for their tenderness 
and care, better than she could reward them." 
She was favoured with much serenity and resig- 
nation throughout, and appeared to have nothing 
of importance, either of spirituals or temporals, 
to claim her attention. 

Four days after the crisis of the disorder, she 
told her medical attendant she got no better; 
-and on the following day, she desired that her 
relations might be informed, with her dear love, 
that she felt her weakness daily increase, and 
thought she should hardly be likely to see them 
any more. Her weakness not being greater 
than the apothecary expected, and no unfavour- 
able symptoms appearing, he did not apprehend 
any cause for alarm; on the contrary, on being 
interrogated, at different times, he had always 
expressed himself favourably as to her getting 

The next day, the 29th, her disorder put on 
a very unfavourable appearance, and further ad- 



vice was immediately procured ; but the physi- 
cian did not think so unfavourably of her as the 
surgeon. That evening and the next morning, 
by the means used for her relief, there was so 
much improvement, that her medical attendants, 
and those around her, Hattered themselves with 
iiopes of her recovery. She passed through 5th 
day night, the SOtli, as favourably as could be 
expected ; but did not appear so well the nest 
morning as such a night led her attendants to 
hope for ; and, in the forenoon, she seemed to 
be sinking fast, and thought herself going. She 
asked the hour of the day, and being told it was 
half past twelv€ o'clock, she wished to know if the 
doctor had been, and what he thought of her. 
Being informed that he found her not so well 
as he had hoped for; after a short pause she said: 
" There is no probability, no probability, of my 
struggling through ; what a favour it would be 
to be taken now, rather than suffer as I have 
done, day after day, and night after night." She 
then asked her sisier if she ^^'as willing to give 
her up, and added, " V\ hat a comfort it has 
been to me that thou hast been with me." Upon 
her sister asking her if she had any particular 
message to any one, she replied, " No! My 
dear; dear love to all, — to all/' — addmg; " and 


to all thy children, I love them all very dearly." 
She then further said, " 1 hope my poor soul 
will be saved. A place in the smallest mansion 
is all 1 ask.^ — A place in the smallest mansion is 
all I ask." 

She was fully satisfied with the doctor and 
apothecary; and that afternoon, having revived 
again about the time of their coming, she told 
them she hoped they would be rewarded for 
their kindness towards her, both in this world 
and that to come. On account of the disorde;^ 
her relations T. and E. Burlingham, had been 
obliged to keep from her till their infant child 
had been vaccinated. That evening, Thomas 
came to her;, she knew him, took him by the 
hand, and expressed herself very affectionately 
to him. 

On seventh day morning early, she relapsed 
again ; and in the forenoon of that day, she asked 
the apothecary if he thought her close was near. 
He replied, " he thought it was." She an- 
swered, "What a favour!" In the afternoon 
she said, " It is marvellous to me I am so long- 
in dying; it is not common, 1 think." Some 
time afterwards, she said, " The spirit cannot 


depart; the spirit cannot depart. Blessed—- ^ 
blessed." At another time : " It will not do, 
the time is not yet come." After that, to the 
admiration cf her medical attendants, and all 
around her, she revived again and took nourish- 
ment freely. 

On first day^ ths 3d of twelfth month, she 
changed several times in the course of the day; 
and, in the evening, being informed, that her bro- 
ther Samuel was come, she wished him to come 
to her; but desired he might be informed she 
"was a poor creature to visit, and could say but 
little. Going to her, she took his hand and 
turned her face towards him, seeming to try to 
look at him, (for she had been several days 
blind) and spoke affectionately, but only a few 
words intelligibly. She was soon informed that 
her brother Dykes, and her niece Lucy Maw, 
were also in the room. She spoke to the lat- 
tier, and seemed to intimate her wish to speak to 
her brother Dykes, but her weakness so in- 
creased just then, that she ct)uld not articulate; 
yet she gave afterwards several clear proofs 
of knowing that her relations were present; 
In the course of the evening she laboured under' 
great distress from the load of disease, and often 


ijaid, ^' Dear, oh dear," arising from the extre- 
mity of her suffering; yet these expressions 
\vere evidently under a sense of care, to avoid, 
either in word or manner, murmuring at the 
last trying conflict of natuie. 

Her brothers and niece were thankful in be- 
ing permitted to see her living; not only for 
their own satisfaction, but from a secret belief 
that her knowing they were there, afforded her 
mind a little comfort under her deeply trying 
conflict. During this last struggle of nature, 
at several different times, she held up her hands 
as in the attitude of prayer ; and, about half past 
three, on second day morning, the 4th of the 
twelfth month, she quietly breathed her last. 

Her remains were interred at Worcester, on 
the fifth day following. She was about 50 years 
of age, and had been a minister about 21 years. 

Perhaps I cannot more suitably close these 
memoirs, than by the concluding words of the 
testimonial sent from Worcester monthly meet- 
ing to her own ; and which were adopted by the 
latter monthly meeting in the testimony ad- 
'hessed to the yearly meeting : — " We may 


weep over her as a friend or as a relation ; we 
may mourn the loss which the church has sus- 
tained of one of her upright pillars; but, on her 
account, there appears no cause for sorrow. 
She was, we believe, favoured to finish all she 
had in commission ; shewing herself therein a 
good and faithful servant. Ihe great reward 
of faithfulness, was permitted to follow, in 
quick succession, her allotted portion of labour; 
and, we doubt not, she is entered into the joy 
of her Lord; and into Jier JSiaster's rest." 


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