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COFKRIGHT  DEPOSIT. 


STORIES 

FROM  THE 

TRENCHES 

Funnij  Tales 
The  Soldiers  Tell 


STORIES 
FROM  THE  TRENCHES 


Humorous  and  Lively  Doings 
of  Our  Boys  "Over  There" 


Gathered  From  Authentic  Sources 


BY 

CARLETON  B.  CASE 


SHREWESBURY  PUBLISHING  CO. 
CHICAGO 


*°< 


Copyright,  1918.  by 
Shrewhsbury  Publishing  Co. 


MAY  22  ISIS 
©CU499644 


f 


TABLE  OF  CONTENTS 

PAGE 

The  Man  Who  "Came  Back" 5 

Franco- Yanko    Romances    14 

Trench    Superstitions    25 

In  the  Trail  of  the  Hun 30 

When  "Ace"  Lufbery  Bagged  No.  13 41 

Life  at  the   Front 47 

The  "Fiddler's  Truce"  at  Arras 55 

Harry  Lauder  Does  His  Bit 57 

King  George  Under  Fire 63 

Story  of  Our  First  Shot 68 

Stories   from  the  Front 71 

Uncle  Sam,  Detective 75 

Didn't  Raise  His  Boy  to  Be  a  "Slacker" 86 

The  100-Pound  Terror  of  the  Air 90 

The  Watch-Dogs  of  the  Trenches 96 

General  Bell  Redeems  His  Promise 101 

Letters  from  the  Front 105 

Meet  Tommy,  D.  C.  Medal  Man 114 

German  Falcon  Killed  in  Air  Duel 119 

He  Taught  the  Tank  to  Prowl  and  Slay 122 

Taking  Moving  Pictures  Under  Shell-fire 128 

Weighty  Measures  Involving  Uncle  Sam's  Navy 137 

Enlisted  Men  Tell  Why  They  Joined  the  Army 142 

Tommy  Atkins,  Rain-soaked  and  War-worn,  Still  Grins . .  146 
Something  New  for  the  Marines 150 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 


THE  MAN  WHO  "GAME  BACK" 

ONE  of  the  strangest  of  the  many  personal  romances 
which  the  war  has  brought  is  the  tale  of  a  man 
who,  dismissed  from  the  British  Army  by  court  martial, 
redeemed  himself  through  service  with  that  most  hetero- 
geneous of  organizations,  the  French  Foreign  Legion. 
His  name  was  John  F.  Elkington,  and  he  had  held  an 
honored  post  for  more  than  thirty  years.  Then,  just 
as  his  regiment,  in  the  closing  months  of  1914,  was 
going  into  the  fighting  on  the  Western  front,  he  was 
cashiered  for  an  unrevealed  error  and  deprived  of  the 
opportunity  to  serve  his  country. 

Heavy  with  disgrace,  he  disappeared,  and  for  a  long 
time  no  one  knew  what  had  become  of  him.  Some  even 
went  so  far  as  to  surmise  that  he  had  committed  suicide, 
until  finally  he  turned  up  as  an  enlisted  soldier  in  the 
Foreign  Legion.  In  their  ranks  he  went  into  the  conflict 
to  redeem  himself.  Today,  says  the  New  York  Herald, 
he  is  back  in  England.  He  will  never  fight  again,  for  he 
has  practically  lost  the  use  of  his  knees  from  wounds. 
But  he  is  perhaps  the  happiest  man  in  England,  and  the 
account  tells  why,  explaining: 

Pinned  on  his  breast  are  two  of  the  coveted  honors  of 
France — the  Military  Medal  and  the  Military  Cross — 
but  most  valued  possession  of  all  is  a  bit  of  paper  which 

5 


6  STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

obliterates  the  errors  of  the  past — a  proclamation  from 
the  official  London  Gazette  announcing  that  the  King  has 
"graciously  approved  the  reinstatement  of  John  Ford 
Elkington  in  the  rank  of  lieutenant-colonel,  with  his 
previous  seniority,  in  consequence  of  his  gallant  conduct 
while  serving  in  the  ranks  of  the  Foreign  Legion  of  the 
French  Army." 

Not  only  has  Colonel  Elkington  been  restored  to  the 
Army,  but  he  has  been  reappointed  in  his  old  regiment, 
the  Royal  Warwickshires,  in  which  his  father  served 
before  him. 

In  the  same  London  Gazette,  at  the  end  of  October, 
1914,  had  appeared  the  crushing  announcement  that 
Elkington  had  been  cashiered  by  sentence  of  general 
court  martial.  What  his  error  was  did  not  appear  at  the 
time,  and  has  not  been  alluded  to  in  his  returned  hour 
of  honor.  It  was  a  court  martial  at  the  front  at  a  time 
when  the  first  rush  of  war  was  engulfing  Europe  and 
little  time  could  be  wasted  upon  an  incident  of  that  sort. 
The  charge,  it  is  now  stated,  did  not  reflect  in  any  way 
upon  the  officer's  personal  courage. 

But  with  fallen  fortunes  he  passed  quietly  out  of  the 
Army  and  enlisted  in  the  Legion — that  corps  where 
thousands  of  brave  but  broken  men  have  found  a  shelter, 
and  now  and  then  an  opportunity  to  make  themselves 
whole  again. 

Colonel  Elkington  did  not  pass  unscathed  through  fire. 
His  fighting  days  are  ended.  His  knees  are  shattered 
and  he  walks  heavily  upon  two  sticks. 

"They  are  just  fragments  from  France,"  he  said  of 
those  wounded  knees,  and  smiled  in  happy  reminiscence 
of  all  they  meant. 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES  7 

"It  is  wonderful  to  feel/'  said  Colonel  Elkington, 
"that  once  again  I  have  the  confidence  of  my  King  and 
my  country.  I  am  afraid  my  career  in  the  field  is 
ended,  but  I  must  not  complain." 

Colonel  Elkington  made  no  attempt  to  cloak  his  name 
or  his  former  Army  service  when  he  entered  the  ranks 
of  the  Legion. 

"Why  shouldn't  I  be  a  private?"  he  asked.  "It  is  an 
honor  for  any  man  to  serve  in  the  ranks  of  that  famous 
corps.  Like  many  of  the  other  boys,  I  had  a  debt  to  pay. 
Now  it  is  paid." 

The  press  of  London  is  unanimous  in  welcoming  the 
old  soldier  back  into  his  former  rank.  One  of  them,  The 
Evening  Standard,  contains  the  account  of  how  he  went 
about  enlisting  for  France  when  he  saw  he  would  best 
leave  London.  It  is  written  by  a  personal  friend  of 
Colonel  Elkington,  with  all  the  vividness  and  sympathy 
of  an  actual  observer  of  the  incidents  detailed.  We  are 
told: 

"Late  in  October,  1914,  I  met  him,  his  Army  career 
apparently  ruined.  He  had  told  the  truth,  which  told 
against  him ;  but  in  the  moment  when  many  men  would 
have  sunk,  broken  and  despairing,  he  bore  himself  as  he 
was  and  as  he  is  today,  a  very  gallant  gentleman.  He 
had  been  cashiered  and  dismissed  from  the  service  for 
conduct  which,  in  the  judgment  of  the  court  martial, 
rendered  him  unfit  and  incapable  of  serving  his  sover- 
eign in  the  future  in  any  military  capacity.  The  London 
Gazette  came  out  on  October  14,  1914,  recording  the 
fact,  and  it  became  known  to  his  many  friends.  For 
over  thirty  years  he  had  served,  and  for  distinguished 
service  wore  the  Queen's  medal  with  four  clasps  after 


8  STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

the  Boer  War.  He  went  to  France  with  the  Royal  War- 
wickshire Regiment  at  the  outbreak  of  this  conflict.  His 
chance  had  come  after  twenty-eight  years. 

During  the  first  terrible  two  months  he  had  done 
splendid  work.  A  moment  sufficient  to  try  the  discretion 
of  any  officer  arrived.  He  made  his  mistake.  He  told 
his  story  to  the  general  court  martial.  He  vanished — 
home ;  and  the  London  Gazette  had  the  following  War- 
Office  announcement: 

"Royal  Warwickshire  Regiment. — Lieutenant-Colonel 
John  F.  Elkington  is  cashiered  by  sentence  of  a  general 
court  martial.    Dated  September  14,  1914." 

He  recognized  at  once,  as  he  sat  with  me,  what  this 
meant.  We  chatted  about  various  projects,  and  at  last 
he  said,  "There  is  still  the  Foreign  Legion.  What  do 
you  say?" 

Being  acquainted  with  it,  I  told  him  what  I  knew ;  how 
it  was  the  "refuge"  for  men  of  broken  reputations ;  how 
it  contained  Italians,  Germans,  Englishmen,  Russians, 
and  others  who  had  broken  or  shattered  careers ;  the  way 
to  set  about  joining  it  by  going  to  the  recruiting  office  at 

;  how  the  only  requirement  was  physical  fitness ; 

that  no  questions  would  be  asked ;  that  I  doubted  if  he 
would  like  all  his  comrades;  that  the  discipline  was 
very  severe ;  that  he  might  be  sent  to  Algiers ;  that  he 
would  find  all  kinds  of  men  in  this  flotsam — men  of 
education  and  culture,  perhaps  scoundrels  and  black- 
guards as  well;  but  he  would  soon  discover  perfect 
discipline. 

Now  for  a  man  of  his  age  to  smile  as  he  did,  to  set  out 
on  the  bottom  rung  of  the  ladder  as  a  ranker  in  a  strange 
army,  among  strangers,  leaving  all  behind  him  that  he 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES  9 

held  dear,  was  a  great  act  of  moral  courage.  We  heard 
of  him  at  intervals,  but  such  messages  as  dribbled 
through  to  his  friends  were  laconic.  We  heard  also  he 
had  been  at  this  place  and  that,  and  that  he  was  well  and 
apparently  doing  well.  That  he  had  been  repeatedly  in 
serious  action  of  recent  months  we  also  knew,  and  then 
came  the  news  that  he  had  won  the  coveted  Medaille 
Militaire — and  more,  that  it  was  for  gallant  service.  A 
curious  distinction  it  is  in  some  ways.  Any  meritorious 
service  may  win  it;  but  not  all  ranks  can  get  it.  A 
generalissimo  like  General  Joffre  or  Sir  Douglas  Haig 
may  wear  it  for  high  strategy  and  tactics,  and  a  non- 
commissioned officer  or  private  may  win  and  wear  it  for 
gallantry  or  other  distinction.  But  no  officer  below  a 
generalissimo  can  gain  it.  This  distinction  Elkington 
won.  We  all  felt  he  had  made  good  in  the  Legion,  where 
death  is  near  at  all  times,  and  we  waited. 

Today's  Gazette  announcement  has  given  all  who 
knew  him  the  greatest  pleasure.  He  has  told  none  of 
them  for  what  particular  act  he  received  the  coveted 
medal — just  like  Jack  Elkington's  modesty. 

But,  as  soon  as  he  arrived  home  in  England,  the  inter- 
viewers went  after  him  hot  and  heavy.  He  found  it  all 
very  boresome,  for,  now  that  the  affair  was  over,  he 
could  see  no  use  in  talking  about  it  to  everybody.  A 
reporter  for  The  Daily  Chronicle,  however,  managed  to 
get  what  is  probably  the  most  satisfactory  interview  with 
him  and  one  which  shows  to  best  advantage  the  peculiar 
psychology  of  this  man  who  has  experienced  so  many 
different  sides  of  life.  The  interviewer,  in  telling  of 
their  conversation,  portrays  the  Colonel  as  saying: 

"Complaint?     Good  Lord,  no!     The  whole  thing  was 


10         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

my  own  fault.  I  got  what  I  deserved,  and  I  had  no  kick 
against  anyone.     It  was  just  'Carry  on !'  " 

Brave  words  from  a  brave  man — a  man  who  has 
proved  his  bravery  and  worth  in  what  surely  were  as 
heartrending  circumstances  as  ever  any  man  had  to  face. 
My  first  sight  of  the  Man  Who  Has  Made  Good  was  a> 
he  descended  the  stairs,  painfully  and  with  the  aid  of 
two  sticks,  into  the  hall  of  his  lovely  old  home  by  the 
river  at  Pangbourne.  It  is  a  house  which  the  great 
Warren  Hastings  once  called  home  also. 

Very  genial,  very  content,  I  found  the  man  whose 
name  today  is  on  everyone's  lips ;  but  very  reticent  also, 
with  the  reticence  natural  to  the  brave  man  who  has 
achieved  his  aim  and,  having  achieved  it,  does  not  wish 
it  talked  of. 

"And  now,"  I  suggested,  "you  have  again  got  what 
you  deserve?" 

Colonel  Elkington  drew  a  long  breath.  "I  hope  so," 
he  said,  at  length,  very  quietly.  "I  have  got  my  name 
back  again,  I  hope  cleared.  That  is  what  a  man  would 
care  for  most,  isn't  it?" 

"There  is  always  a  place  in  the  Foreign  Legion  for 
someone  who  is  down  in  the  world,"  he  told  me.  "Directly 
after  the  court  martial,  when  the  result  appeared  in  the 
papers,  I  said  I  must  do  something;  that  I  could  not  sit 
at  home  doing  nothing,  and  that  as  I  could  not  serve 
England  I  would  serve  France.  Yes,  I  did  offer  my 
services  again  to  England,  but  it  is  military  law  that  no 
man  who  has  been  cashiered  can  be  employed  again  for 
the  King  while  the  sentence  stands.  So  there  was  noth- 
ing for  it  but  the  Foreign  Legion — that  home  for  the 
fallen  man." 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES  11 

Of  that  strange  and  famous  corps  Colonel  Elkington 
cannot  speak  without  a  glint  of  pride  in  his  keen  blue 
eyes.  Splendid  men,  the  best  in  the  world,  he  calls  them, 
"and  every  one  was  as  kind  as  possible  to  me."  Many 
there  were  who  had  become  legionaries  because  they,  too, 
had  failed  elsewhere,  "lost  dogs  like  myself,"  the  Colonel 
called  them;  but  the  majority  of  the  men  with  whom  he 
served  were  there  because  there  was  fighting  to  be  done, 
because  fighting  was  second  nature  to  them,  and  because 
there  was  a  cause  to  be  fought  for.  The  officers  he 
describes  as  the  "nicest  fellows  in  the  world  and  splen- 
did leaders." 

When  Colonel  Elkington  first  joined  there  were  many 
Englishmen  included  in  its  ranks,  but  most  of  these  sub- 
sequently transferred  to  British  regiments.  He  enlisted 
in  his  own  name,  but  none  knew  his  story,  and  often  he 
was  questioned  as  to  his  reason  for  not  transferring — 
"and  I  had  to  pitch  them  the  tale." 

He  kept  away  from  British  soldiers  as  much  as  pos- 
sible, "but  one  day  someone  shouted  my  name.  I  remem- 
ber I  was  just  about  to  wash  in  a  stream  when  a  staff 
motor  drove  by  and  an  officer  waved  his  hand  and  called 
out.    But  I  pretended  not  to  hear  and  turned  away.  .  .  . 

"I  don't  think  that  the  men  in  the  Legion  fear  any- 
thing," he  said.  "I  never  saw  such  men,  and  I  think  in 
the  attack  at  Champaigne  they  were  perfectly  wonder- 
ful. I  never  saw  such  a  cool  lot  in  my  life  as  when  they 
went  forward  to  face  the  German  fire  then.  It  was  a 
great  fight ;  they  were  all  out  for  blood,  and,  though  they 
were  almost  cut  up  there,  they  got  the  German  trenches." 

The  time  he  was  recognized,  as  detailed  above,  was 
the  only  one.    At  no  other  time  did  any  of  his  comrades 


12         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

suspect  his  identity,  or  else,  if  they  did,  they  were  con- 
sideration itself  in  keeping  it  to  themselves.  Of  this 
recognition  and  some  of  his  subsequent  experiences,  the 
London  Times  remarks,  speaking  of  its  own  interview 
with  him : 

It  was  the  only  voice  from  the  past  that  came  to  him, 
and  he  took  it  as  such.  A  few  minutes  afterward  he  was 
stepping  it  out  heel  and  toe  along  the  dusty  road,  a 
private  in  the  Legion. 

Shot  in  the  leg,  Colonel  Elkington  spent  ten  months 
in  hospital  and  eight  months  on  his  back.  This  was  in 
the  Hopital  Civil  at  Grenoble.  He  could  not  say  enough 
for  the  wonderful  treatment  that  was  given  him  there. 
They  fought  to  save  his  life,  and  when  they  had  won  that 
fight,  they  started  to  save  his  leg  from  amputation.  The 
head  of  the  hospital  was  a  Major  Termier,  a  splendid 
surgeon,  and  he  operated  eight  times  and  finally  suc- 
ceeded in  saving  the  damaged  limb.  When  he  was  first 
in  hospital  neither  the  patients  nor  any  of  the  hospital 
staff  knew  what  he  was  or  what  he  had  done.  Elkington 
himself  got  an  inkling  of  his  good  fortune  at  Christmas 
when  he  heard  of  his  recommendation  for  the  Croix  de 
Guerre. 

"Perhaps  that  helped  me  to  get  better,"  he  said. 
"The  medals  are  over  there  on  the  mantelpiece."  I  went 
over  to  where  there  were  two  glass  cases  hanging  on 
the  wall.  "No,  not  those ;  those  are  my  father's  and  my 
grandfather's."  He  showed  me  the  medals,  and  on  the 
ribbon  of  the  cross  there  was  the  little  bronze  palm- 
branch  which  doubles  the  worth  of  the  medal. 

When  he  was  wounded  Dr.  Wheeler  gave  him  a  stiff 
dose  of  laudanum,  but  he  lay  for  thirteen  hours  until  he 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES  13 

saw  a  French  patrol  passing.  He  was  then  100  yards 
short  of  the  German  second  line  of  trenches,  for  this 
was  in  the  Champaigne  Battle,  on  September  28,  when 
the  French  made  a  magnificent  advance. 

It  was  difficult  to  get  Colonel  Elkington  to  talk  about 
himself.  As  his  wife  says,  he  has  a  horror  of  advertise- 
ment, and  a  photographer  who  ambushed  him  outside  his 
own  lodge-gates  yesterday  made  him  feel  more  nervous 
than  when  he  was  charging  for  the  machine  gun  that 
wounded  him.  To  say  he  was  happy  would  be  to  write  a 
platitude.  He  is  the  happiest  man  in  England.  He  is 
now  recuperating  and  receiving  treatment,  and  he  hopes 
that  he  will  soon  be  able  to  walk  more  than  the  100  yards 
that  taxes  his  strength  to  the  utmost  at  present. 


FOUR  TO  THE  GOOD 

In  times  of  peace  Smith  might  have  been  an  author 
who  had  drifted  into  some  useful  occupation,  such  as 
that  of  a  blacksmith,  but  just  now  he  is  cook  to  the 
Blankshire  officers'  mess.  Smith  sent  Murphy  into  the 
village  to  bring  home  some  chickens  ordered  for  the 
mess. 

"Murphy,"  said  Smith,  the  next  day,  "when  you 
fetch  me  chickens  again,  see  that  they  are  fastened  up 
properly.  That  lot  you  fetched  yesterday  all  got  loose, 
and  though  I  scoured  the  village  I  only  managed  to 
secure  ten  of  them." 

"'Sh!"  said  Murphy.     "I  only  brought  six." 


FRANCO- YANKO  ROMANCES 

THE  story  is  told  of  a  British  "Tommy"  who  could 
not  make  up  his  mind  whether  to  acquire  a  farm  or 
a  village  store,  by  marriage,  "somewhere  in  France." 
He  could  have  either,  but  not  both.  Dispatches  say  that 
the  banns  have  already  been  read  for  some  of  our  "Sam- 
mies," and  when  the  war  is  over  France  will  have  some 
sturdy  Yankee  citizens.  Difference  of  language  seems 
to  form  no  bar ;  in  fact,  the  kindly  efforts  of  each  to  learn 
the  language  of  the  other  acts  as  an  aid.  It  must  be  said 
that  the  British,  so  far,  have  rather  the  best  of  it.  They 
have  beaten  the  Yankees  to  the  altar  of  Hymen,  but  they 
Lad  the  field  to  themselves  for  some  time.  By  the  end  of 
the  war  the  Americans  may  have  caught  up,  for  love  and 
war  have  always  walked  hand  in  hand  with  Uncle  Sam's 
boys.  Nevertheless  the  British  have  a  big  start,  for 
Judson  C.  Welliver,  writing  to  the  New  York  Sun  from 
Paris,  says  that  in  Calais  hundreds  of  young  English 
mechanics  have  married  French  girls.  The  writer  tells 
of  being  accosted  by  a  young  man  from  "the  States"  at 
the  corner  of  the  Avenue  de  l'Opera  and  "one  of  those 
funny  little  crooked  streets  that  run  into  it."  Breezily 
the  American  introduced  himself  and  said: 

"Say,  do  you  happen  to  know  a  little  caffy  right 
around  here  called  the — the — blame  it,  I  can't  even 
remember  what  that  sign  looked  like  it  was  trying  to 
spell." 

I  admitted  that  the  description  was  a  trifle  too  vague 
to  fit  into  my  geographic  scheme  of  Paris. 

14 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES  15 

"Because,"  he  went  on,  "there's  a  girl  there  that  talks 
United  States,  and  she's  been  waiting  on  me  lately.  I 
get  all  the  best  of  everything  there  and  don't  eat  any- 
where else.  But  this  morning  I  took  a  walk  and  coming 
from  a  new  direction  I  can't  locate  the  place.  I  prom- 
ised her  I'd  be  in  for  breakfast  this  morning." 

"Something  nifty?"  I  ventured,  being  willing  to  en- 
courage that  line  of  conversation.  Whereat  he  plainly 
bridled : 

"She's  a  nice  girl,"  he  said;  "family  were  real  people 
before  the  war.  Learned  to  talk  United  States  in  Eng- 
land; went  to  school  there  awhile.  Why,  she  wouldn't 
let  me  walk  home  with  her  last  night,  but  said  maybe 
she  would  tonight." 

There  isn't  anybody  quite  so  adaptable  as  the  young 
Frenchwoman.  Only  in  the  last  few  months  has  Paris 
seen  any  considerable  number  of  English-speaking  sol- 
diers, because  earlier  in  the  war  the  British  military 
authorities  kept  their  men  pretty  religiously  away  from 
the  alleged  "temptations"  of  the  gay  capital.  Later 
they  discovered  that  Paris  was  rather  a  better  place  than 
London  for  the  men  to  go. 

So  the  French  girls,  in  shops  and  cafes,  have  been 
learning  English  recently  at  an  astounding  rate.  They 
began  the  study  because  of  the  English  invasion;  they 
have  continued  it  with  increased  zeal  because  since  the 
Americans  have  been  coming  it  has  been  profitable. 

To  be  able  to  say  "Atta  boy !"  in  prompt  and  sympa- 
thetic response  to  "Ham  and  eggs"  is  worth  50  centimes 
at  the  lowest.  The  capacity  to  manage  a  little  casual 
conversation  and  give  a  direction  on  the  street  is  certain 
to  draw  a  franc. 


16         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

Besides,  there  aren't  going  to  be  so  many  men  left, 
after  the  war,  in  France ! 

Mademoiselle,  figuring  that  there  are  a  couple  of  mil- 
lion Britishers  in  the  country  and  a  million  or  maybe 
two  of  Americans  coming,  has  her  own  views  about  the 
prospect  that  the  next  generation  Frenchwomen  may  be 
old  maids. 

In  Calais  there  is  a  big  industrial  establishment  to 
which  the  British  military  authorities  have  brought  great 
numbers  of  skilled  mechanics  to  make  repairs  to  machin- 
ery, reconstruct  the  outworn  war-gear,  tinker  obstrep- 
erous motor-vehicles,  and,  in  short,  keep  the  whole 
machinery  and  construction  side  of  the  war  going.  Most 
of  the  mechanics  who  were  sent  there  were  young 
men. 

Calais  testifies  to  the  ability  of  the  Frenchwomen  to 
make  the  most  of  their  attractions.  English  officers  tell 
me  that  hundreds  of  young  Englishmen  settled  in  Calais 
"for  the  duration"  have  married  French  girls  and  settled 
into  homes.  They  intend,  in  a  large  proportion  of  cases, 
to  remain  there,  too. 

The  same  thing  is  going  on  in  Boulogne,  which  is  to 
all  intents  and  purposes  nowadays  as  much  an  English 
as  a  French  port.  Everywhere  English  is  spoken  and 
by  nobody  is  it  learned  so  quickly  as  by  the  young 
women. 

Frenchwomen  have  always  had  the  reputation  of  mak- 
ing themselves  agreeable  to  visiting  men,  but  one  is  quite 
astonished  to  learn  the  number  of  Englishmen  who  mar- 
ried Frenchwomen  even  before  the  war.  The  balance  is 
a  little  imperfect,  for  the  records  show  that  there  are  not 
nearly    as   many   Frenchmen   marrying   English  girls. 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES  17 

But,  says  the  writer  in  the  Sun,  a  new  generation  of  girls 
of  marriageable  age  has  arrived  with  the  war,  and : 

Not  only  in  the  military,  industrial,  and  naval  base 
towns  are  the  British  marrying  these  Frenchwomen,  but 
even  in  the  country  nearer  the  front.  There  are  incipi- 
ent romances  afoot  behind  every  mile  of  the  trench- 
line. 

Two  related  changes  in  French  life  are  coming  with 
the  war  which  make  these  international  marriages  easier. 
Both  relate  to  the  dot  [dowry]  system.  On  the  one  side 
there  are  many  French  girls  who  have  lost  their  dots 
and  have  small  prospect  of  reacquiring  the  marriage 
portion.  To  live  in  these  strenuous  times  is  about  all 
they  can  hope  for.  For  these  the  free-handed  Ameri- 
cans, Canadians,  and  Australians  look  like  good  pros- 
pects for  a  well-to-do  marriage. 

Even  the  British  Tommy,  though  he  enjoys  no  such 
income  as  the  Americans  and  colonials,  is  nevertheless 
quite  likely  to  have  a  bit  of  private  income  from  the  folks 
"back  in  Blighty"  to  supplement  the  meager  pay  he 
draws.  The  portionless  French  maid  sees  in  these  pros- 
perous young  men  who  have  come  to  fight  for  her  country 
not  only  the  saviors  of  the  nation,  but  a  possibility  of 
emancipation  from  the  dot  system  that  has  broken  down 
in  these  times. 

On  the  other  side,  there  are  more  than  a  few  young 
women  in  France  who  must  be  rated  "good  catches"  to- 
day, though  their  dots  would  have  been  unimportant  be- 
fore the  war.  A  girl  who  has  inherited  the  little 
property  of  her  family,  because  father  and  brothers  all 
lie  beneath  the  white  crosses  along  the  Marne,  not  infre- 
quently finds  herself  possessed  of  a  little  fortune  she 


18         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

could  never  have  expected  under  other  conditions. 
Many  of  these,  likewise,  bereft  of  sweethearts  as  well 
as  relatives,  have  been  married  to  English  and  colonial 
soldiers  or  workmen ;  and  pretty  soon  we  will  be  learning 
that  their  partiality  for  America — for  there  is  such  a 
partiality,  and  it  is  a  decided  one — will  be  responsible 
for  many  alliances  in  that  direction. 

How  it  will  all  work  out  in  the  end  is  only  to  be 
guessed  at  as  yet.  The  British  officers  who  have  been 
observing  these  Anglo-French  romances  for  a  long  time 
assert  that  the  British  Tommy  who  weds  a  Frenchwoman 
is  quite  likely  to  settle  in  France;  particularly  if  his 
bride  brings  him  a  village  house  or  a  few  hectares  of 
land  in  the  country. 

On  the  other  hand,  the  colonials  insist  on  taking  their 
French  brides  back  to  New  Zealand  or  Canada,  or  wher- 
ever it  may  be — India,  Shanghai,  somewhere  in  Africa — 
no  matter,  the  colonial  is  a  colonial  forever;  he  has  no 
idea  of  going  back  to  the  cramped  conditions  of  England. 
He  likes  the  motherland,  all  right,  is  willing  to  fight  for 
it,  but  wants  room  to  swing  a  bull  by  the  tail,  and  that 
isn't  to  be  had  in  England,  he  assures  you. 

Probably  the  Americans  will  be  like  the  colonials; 
those  who  find  French  wives  will  take  them  home  after 
the  war.  That  a  good  many  of  them  will  marry  French 
wives  can  hardly  be  doubted. 

Yes,  the  French  girls  like  the  American  boys.  But 
there  is  another  scene.  It  is  that  of  the  country  billet, 
which  varies  from  a  chateau  to  a  cellar,  the  ideal  one — 
from  the  point  of  view  of  a  billeting  officer — being  a  bed 
for  every  officer,  and  nice  clean  straw  for  the  men.  Get 
this  picture  of  "Our  Village,  Somewhere  in  France," 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES  19 

back  of  the  line,  as  drawn  by  Sterling  Hielig  in  the  Los 
Angeles  Times: 

A  French  valley  full  of  empty  villages,  close  to  the 
fighting  line.  No  city  of  tents.  No  mass  of  shack  con- 
structions. The  village  streets  are  empty.  Geese  and 
ducks  waddle  to  the  pond  in  Main  Street. 

It  is  4  o'clock  a.  m. 

Bugle ! 

Up  and  down  the  valley,  in  the  empty  villages,  there 
is  a  moving-picture  transformation.  The  streets  are 
alive  with  American  soldiers — tumbling  out  of  village 
dwelling-houses ! 

Every  house  is  full  of  boarders.  Every  village  family 
has  given,  joyfully,  one,  two,  three  of  its  best  rooms  for 
the  cot  beds  of  the  Americans  !  Barns  and  wagon-houses 
are  transformed  to  dormitories.  They  are  learning 
French.  They  are  adopted  by  the  family.  Sammy's  in 
the  kitchen  with  the  mother  and  the  daughter. 

Bugle ! 

They  are  piling  down  the  main  street  to  their  own 
American  breakfast — cooked  in  the  open,  eaten  in  the 
open,  this  fine  weather. 

In  front  of  houses  are  canvas  reservoirs  of  filtered 
drinking-water.  The  duck  pond  in  Main  street  is  being 
lined  with  cement.  The  streets  are  swept  every  morn- 
ing. There  are  flowers.  The  village  was  always  pic- 
turesque.   Now  it  is  beautiful. 

Chaplains'  clubs  are  set  up  in  empty  houses.  The 
only  large  tent  is  that  of  the  Y.  M.  C.  A.;  and  it  is 
camouflaged  against  enemy  observers  by  being  painted 
in  streaked  gray-green-brown,  to  melt  into  the  colors  of 
the  hill  against  which  it  is  backed  up,  practically  in- 


20         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

visible.  Its  "canteen  on  wheels"  is  loaded  with  towels, 
soap,  razors,  chocolate,  crackers,  games,  newspapers, 
novels,  and  tobacco.  At  cross-roads,  little  flat  Y.  M.  C. 
A.  tents  (painted  grass  and  earth  color)  serve  as  sta- 
tions for  swift  autos  carrying  packages  and  comforts. 
In  them  are  found  coffee,  tea,  and  chocolate,  ink,  pens, 
letter-paper,  and  envelopes;  and  a  big  sign  reminds 
Sammy  that  "You  Promised  Your  Mother  a  Letter, 
Write  It  Today  !" 

All  decent  and  in  order.  Otherwise  the  men  could 
never  have  gone  through  the  strenuous  coaching  for 
the  front  so  quickly  and  well. 

In  "Our  Village,"  not  a  duck  or  goose  or  chicken  has 
failed  to  respond  to  the  roll  call  in  the  past  forty  days — 
which  is  more  than  can  be  said  of  a  French  company 
billet,  or  many  a  British. 

Fruit  hung  red  and  yellow  in  the  orchards  till  the 
gathering.  I  don't  say  the  families  had  as  many  bushels 
as  a  "good  year" ;  but  there  is  no  criticism. 

In  a  word,  Sammy  has  good  manners.  He  looks  on 
these  French  people  with  a  sort  of  awed  compassion. 
"They  had  a  lot  to  stand !"  he  whispers.  And  the  vil- 
lagers, who  are  no  fools  ("as  wily  as  a  villager,"  runs 
the  French  proverb),  quite  appreciate  these  fine  shades. 
And  the  house  dog  wags  his  tail  at  the  sight  of  khaki,  as 
the  boys  come  loafing  in  the  cool  of  the  back  yard  after 
midday  dinner. 

In  the  evening  the  family  play  cards  in  the  kitchen, 
and  here  no  effort  is  necessary  to  induce  the  girls  to 
learn  English,  for,  though  they  pretend  that  they  are 
teaching  French,  they  are  really — very  slyly — "pick- 
ing up"   English   while  they   are  being  introduced  to 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         21 

the  mysteries  of  draw-poker.     Says  the  writer  in  The 
Times: 

So,  it  goes  like  this  when  they  play  poker  in  the 
kitchen — the  old  French  father,  the  pretty  daughter, 
the  flapper  girl  cousin,  and  three  roughnecks.  (One 
boy  has  the  sheets  of  "Conversational  French  in  Twenty 
Days,"  and  really  thinks  that  he  is  conversing — 
"Madame,  mademoiselle,  maman,  monsieur,  papa,  01 
mon  oncle,  pass  the  buck  and  get  busy !") 

"You  will  haf  carts,  how  man-ny?  (business.)  Tree 
carts,  fife  carts,  ou-one  cart,  no  cart,  an'  zee  dee-laire 
seex  carts!" — "Here,  Bill,  wake  up!" — "Beel  sleep! 
Avez-vous  sommeil,  Beel?" — "Out,  mademoiselle,  I  slept 
rotten  last  night,  I  mean  I  was  tray  jenny  pars'ke  that 
darned  engine  was  pumping  up  the  duck  pond — " 

"Speak  French!"— "Play  cards!" "Vingt-cinqr 

— "Et  dix!"  "Et  encore  five  cen-times.  I'm  broke. 
Just  slip  me  a  quarter,  Wilfred,  to  buy  jet-toms!"  And 
a  sweet  and  plaintive  voice:  "I  haf  tree  paire,  mon 
oncle,  an'  he  say  skee-doo,  I  am  stung-ed.  I  haf  seex 
carts  !" — "Yes,  you're  out  of  it,  I'm  sorry,  mademoiselle. 
Come  up!"  "Kom  opp?    Comment,  kom  opp?" 

"Stung-ed"  has  become  French.  Thus  does  Sammy 
enrich  the  language  of  Voltaire.  His  influence  works 
equally  on  pronunciation.  There  is  a  tiny  French  vil- 
lage named  Hinges — on  which  hinges  the  following. 
From  the  days  of  Jeanne  d'Arc,  the  natives  have  pro- 
nounced it  "Anjs,"  in  one  syllable,  with  the  sound  of  "a" 
as  in  "ham";  but  Sammy,  naturally,  pronounces  it 
"hinges,"  as  it  is  spelled,  one  hinge,  two  hinges  on  the 
door  or  window.  So,  the  natives,  deeming  that  such 
godlings  can't  be  wrong  on  any  detail,  go  about,  now, 


22         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

showing  off  their  knowledge  to  the  ignorant,  and  saying, 
with  a  point  of  affection:    "I  have  been  to  'Injes !'  " 

I  should  not  wonder  if  some  of  these  boys  would 
marry.  They  might  do  worse.  The  old  man  owns  218 
acres  and  nobody  knows  what  Converted  French  Fives. 
Sammy,  too,  has  money.  A  single  regiment  of  American 
marines  has  subscribed  for  $60,000  worth  of  French 
war-bonds  since  their  arrival  in  the  zone — this,  in  spite 
of  their  depositing  most  of  their  money  with  the  United 
States  Government. 

Sammy  sits  in  the  group  around  the  front  door  in 
the  twilight.  Up  and  down  the  main  street  are  a  hun- 
dred such  mixed  groups.  Already  he  has  found  a  place, 
a  family.     He  is  somebody. 

And  what  American  lad  ever  sat  in  such  a  group  at 
such  a  time  without  a  desire  to  sing?  And  little  differ- 
ence does  it  make  whether  the  song  be  sentimental  or 
rag;  sing  he  must,  and  sing  he  does.  The  old-timers  like 
"I  Was  Seeing  Nellie  Home"  and  "Down  by  the  Old 
Mill  Stream"  proved  to  be  the  favorites  of  the  listening 
French  girls.  For  they  will  listen  by  the  hour  to  the 
soldiers'  choruses.  They  do  not  sing  much  themselves, 
for  too  many  of  their  young  men  are  dead.  But,  finally, 
when  the  real  war-songs  arrived,  they  would  join  tim- 
idly in  the  chorus,  "Hep,  hep,  hep !"  and  "Slopping 
Through  Belgium"  electrified  the  natives,  and  The 
Times  says: 

To  hear  a  pretty  French  girl  singing  "Epp,  epp,  epp  !" 
is  about  the  limit. 

Singing  is  fostered  by  the  high  command.  Who  can 
estimate  the  influence  of  "Tipperary?"  To  me,  Amer- 
ican civilian  in  Paris,  its  mere  melody  will  always  stir 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES  23 

those  noble  sentiments  we  felt  as  the  first  wounded 
English  came  to  the  American  Ambulance  Hospital  of 
Neuilly.  For  many  a  year  to  come  "Tipperary"  will 
make  British  eyes  wet,  when,  in  the  witching  hour  of 
twilight,  it  evokes  the  khaki  figures  in  the  glare  of  the 
sky-line  and  the  dead  who  are  un forgotten ! 

Who  can  estimate,  for  France,  the  influence  of  that 
terrible  song  of  Verdun — "Passeront  pas!"  Or  who 
can  forget  the  goose-step  march  to  death  of  the  Prussian 
Guard  at  Ypres,  intoning  "Deutschland  Uber  AllesV* 

"It  is  desired  that  the  American  Army  be  a  singing 
army!"  So  ran  the  first  words  of  a  communication 
to  the  American  public  of  Paris,  asking  for  three  thou- 
sand copies  of  "The  Battle  Hymn  of  the  Republic" — 
noble  marching  strophes  of  Julia  Ward  Howe,  which 
fired  the  hearts  of  the  Northern  armies  in  1864-1865. 

Mine  eyes  have  seen  the  glory  of  the  coming  of  the 
Lord!  .  .  . 

They  are  heard  now  on  the  American  front  in  France. 
One  regiment  has  adopted  it  "as  our  marching  song, 
in  memory  of  the  American  martyrs  of  Liberty."  And 
in  Our  Village,  you  may  hear  a  noble  French  translation 
of  it,  torn  off  by  inspired  French  grandmothers! 

I  have  seen  Him  in  the  watch-fires  of  a  hundred  circling 

camps ; 
They  have  builded  Him  an  altar  in  the  evening  dews 

and  damps ; 
I   have  read  His  righteous   sentence  by  the  dim  and 

flaring  lamps ; 

His  day  is  marching  on. 


24         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

Bear  with  me  to  hear  three  lines  of  this  notable  trans- 
lation. Again  they  are  by  a  woman,  Charlotte  Holmes 
Crawford,  of  whom  I  had  never  previously  heard  men- 
tion.   They  are  word  for  word,  vibrating ! 

Je  L'ai  entrevu  Qui  planait  sur  le  cercle  large  des  camps, 
On  a  erige  Son  autel  par  les  tristes  et  mornes  champs, 
J'ai  relu  Son  juste  jugement  a  la  flamme  des  feux  flam- 
bants, 

Son  jour,  Son  jour  s'approche! 

It's  rather  serious,  you  say?     Rather  solemn? 
Sammy  doesn't  think  so. 


CUTE,  WASN'T  SHE? 

He  was  a  young  subaltern.  One  evening  the  pretty 
nurse  had  just  finished  making  him  comfortable  for  the 
night,  and  before  going  off  duty  asked:  "Is  there  any- 
thing I  can  do  for  you  before  I  leave?" 

Dear  little  Two  Stars  replied:  "Well,  yes!  I  should 
like  very  much  to  be  kissed  good-night." 

Nurse  rustled  to  the  door.  "Just  wait  till  I  call  the 
orderly,"  she  said.    "He  does  all  the  rough  work  here." 


EVERY  ONE  TO  HIS  TASTE 

Visitor — "It's  a  terrible  war,  this,  young  man — a  ter- 
rible war." 

Mike  (badly  wounded) — "'Tis  that,  sor — a  tirrible 
warr.    But  'tis  better  than  no  warr  at  all." 


TRENCH  SUPERSTITIONS 

IT  is  told  in  the  chronicles  of  "The  White  Company" 
how  the  veteran  English  archer,  Samkin  Aylward, 
was  discovered  by  his  comrades  one  foggy  morning 
sharpening  his  sword  and  preparing  his  arrows  and 
armor  for  battle.  He  had  dreamed  of  a  red  cow,  he 
announced. 

"You  may  laugh/'  said  he,  "but  I  only  know  that  on 
the  night  before  Crecy,  before  Poitiers,  and  before  the 
great  sea  battle  at  Winchester,  I  dreamed  of  a  red  cow. 
To-night  the  dream  came  to  me  again,  and  I  am  putting 
a  very  keen  edge  on  my  sword." 

Soldiers  do  not  seem  to  have  changed  in  the  last  five 
hundred  years,  for  Tommy  Atkins  and  his  brother  the 
poilu  have  warnings  and  superstitions  fully  as  strange 
as  Samkin's.  Some  of  these  superstitions  are  the  little 
beliefs  of  peace  given  a  new  force  by  constant  peril, 
such  as  the  notion  common  to  the  soldier  and  the  Amer- 
ican drummer  that  it  is  unlucky  to  light  three  cigars  with 
one  match;  other  presentiments  appear  to  have  grown 
up  since  the  war  began.  In  a  recent  magazine  two 
poems  were  published  dealing  with  the  most  dramatic 
of  these — the  Comrade  in  White  who  appears  after 
every  severe  battle  to  succor  the  wounded.  Dozens 
have  seen  him,  and  would  not  take  it  kindly  if  you 
suggested  they  thought  they  saw  him.  They  are  sure 
of  it.  The  idea  of  the  "call" — the  warning  of  impend- 
ing death — is  firmly  believed  along  the  outskirts  of  No 

25 


26         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

Man's  Land.     Let  us  quote  some  illustrations  from  the 
Cincinnati  Times: 

"I  could  give  you  the  names  of  half  a  dozen  men  of 
my  own  company  who  have  had  the  call/'  said  Daniel  W. 
King,  the  young  Harvard  man,  who  was  transferred 
from  the  Foreign  Legion  to  a  line  regiment  just  in  time 
to  go  through  the  entire  battle  of  Verdun.  "I  have 
never  known  it  to  fail.     It  always  means  death." 

Two  men  were  quartered  in  an  old  stable  in  shell- 
range  of  the  front.  As  they  went  to  their  quarters  one 
of  them  asked  the  other  to  select  another  place  in  which 
to  sleep  that  night.  It  was  bitterly  cold  and  the  stable 
had  been  riddled  by  previous  fire,  and  the  army  blanket 
under  such  conditions  seems  as  light  as  it  seems  heavy 
when  its  owner  is  on  a  route  march. 

"Why  not  roll  up  together?"  said  the  other  man. 
"That  way  we  can  both  keep  warm." 

"No,"  said  the  first  man.    "I  shall  be  killed  to-night." 

The  man  who  had  received  the  warning  went  into  the 
upper  part  of  the  stable,  the  other  pointing  out  in  utter 
unbelief  of  the  validity  of  a  call  that  the  lower  part  was 
the  warmer,  and  that  if  his  friend  were  killed  it  would 
make  no  difference  whether  his  death  chamber  were 
warm  or  cold.  A  shell  came  througn  the  roof  at  mid- 
night. It  was  a  "dud" — which  is  to  say  that  it  did  not 
explode.  The  man  who  had  been  warned  was  killed 
by  it.  If  it  had  exploded  the  other  would  probably 
have  been  killed  likewise.    As  it  was  he  was  not  harmed. 

A  few  days  ago  the  chief  of  an  aeroplane  section  at 
the  front  felt  a  premonition  of  death.  He  was  known 
to  all  the  army  for  his  utterly  reckless  daring.  He  liked 
to  boast  of  the  number  of  men  who  had  been  killed  out 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         27 

of  his  section.  He  was  always  the  first  to  get  away  on 
a  bombing  expedition  and  the  last  to  return.  He  had 
received  at  least  one  decoration — accompanied  by  a 
reprimand — for  flying  over  the  German  lines  in  order 
to  bring  down  a  Fokker. 

"I  have  written  my  letters/'  he  said  to  his  lieutenant. 
"When  you  hear  of  my  death,  send  them  on." 

The  lieutenant  laughed  at  him.  That  sector  of  the 
line  was  quiet,  he  pointed  out.  No  German  machine 
had  been  in  the  air  for  days.  He  might  have  been 
justified  in  his  premonition,  the  lieutenant  said,  on  any 
day  of  three  months  past.  But  now  he  was  in  not  so 
much  danger  as  he  might  be  in  Paris  from  the  taxicabs. 
That  day  a  general  visited  the  headquarters  and  the 
chief  went  up  in  a  new  machine  to  demonstrate  it. 
Something  broke  when  he  was  three  thousand  feet  high 
and  the  machine  fell  sidewise  like  a  stone. 

It  is  possible,  say  the  soldiers,  to  keep  bad  fortune 
from  following  an  omen  by  the  use  of  the  proper  talis- 
man. The  rabbit's  foot  is  unknown,  but  it  is  said  that 
a  gold  coin  has  much  the  same  effect — why,  no  one  seems 
to  know.  A  rabbit's  foot,  of  course,  must  be  from  the 
left  hind  leg,  otherwise  it  is  good  for  nothing,  and 
according  to  a  poilu  the  efficacy  of  the  gold  piece  de- 
pends upon  whether  or  no  it  puts  the  man  into  touch 
with  his  "star."    It  is  said  in  the  New  York  Sun  : 

Gold  coins  are  a  mascot  in  the  front  lines,  a  super- 
stition not  difficult  to  explain.  It  was  at  first  believed 
that  wounded  men  on  whom  some  gold  was  found  would 
be  better  looked  after  by  those  who  found  them,  and 
by  degrees  the  belief  grew  up,  especially  among  artil- 
lery, that  a  gold  coin  was   a  talisman   against  being 


28         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

mutilated  if  they  were  taken  prisoners,  whether  wounded 
or  not. 

The  Government's  appeals  to  have  gold  sent  to  the 
Bank  of  France  and  not  to  let  it  fall  into  enemy  hands 
in  case  of  capture  has  since  reduced  the  amount  of  gold 
at  the  front,  but  many  keep  some  coins  as  a  charm. 
Many  men  sew  coins  touching  one  another  in  such  a 
way  as  to  make  a  shield  over  the  heart. 

"Every  man  has  his  own  particular  star/'  a  Lyons 
farm  hand  said  to  Apollinaire,  "but  he  must  know  it. 
A  gold  coin  is  the  only  means  to  put  you  in  communi- 
cation with  your  star,  so  that  its  protecting  virtue  can 
be  exercised.  I  have  a  piece  of  gold  and  so  am  easy  in 
my  mind  I  shall  never  be  touched."  As  a  matter  of  fact 
he  was  seriously  wounded  later. 

Perhaps  he  lost  his  gold-piece ! 

The  Sun  relates  another  story  which  indicates  the 
belief  that  if  the  man  does  not  himself  believe  that  he 
had  a  true  "call"  he  will  be  saved.  It  is  possible  to  fool 
the  Unseen  Powers,  to  pull  wool  over  their  eyes.  To 
dream  of  an  auto-bus  has  become  a  token  of  death, 
attested  by  the  experience  of  at  least  four  front-line 
regiments.  And  yet  a  sergeant  succeeded  in  saving  the 
life  of  a  man  who  had  dreamed  of  an  auto-bus  by  the 
use  of  a  clever  ruse — or  lie,  if  you  prefer.  As  the 
anecdote  is  told  in  The  Sun : 

A  corporal  said  he  had  dreamed  of  an  auto-bus. 
"How  can  that  be,"  the  sergeant  asked,  "when  you 
have  never  been  to  Paris  or  seen  an  auto-bus?"  The 
corporal  described  the  vision.  "That  an  auto-bus!" 
declared  the  sergeant,  although  the  description  was  per- 
fect.    "Why,  that's  one  of  those  new  machines  that  the 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         29 

English  are  using.  Don't  let  that  worry  you!"  He 
didn't,  and  lived ! 

A  regiment  from  the  south  has  the  same  belief  about 
an  automobile  lorry. 

But,  unfortunately  for  the  scientifically  minded,  a 
disbelief  in  omens  does  not  preserve  the  skeptic  from 
their  consequences.  On  the  contrary,  he  who  flies  in 
the  face  of  Providence  by  being  the  third  to  get  a  light 
from  one  match  is  certain  of  speedy  death.  The  Sun 
continues : 

Apollinaire  tells  how  he  was  invited  to  mess  with  a 

friend,  Second  Lieutenant  Francois  V ,  how  this 

superstition  was  discussed  and  laughed  at  by  Francois 

V ,  and  how  Francois  V happened  to  be  the 

third  to  light  his  cigaret  with  the  same  match. 

The  morning  after,  Francois  V was  killed  five 

or  six  miles  from  the  front  lines  by  a  German  shell. 
It  appears  that  the  superstition  is  that  the  death  is 
always  of  this  nature,  as  Apollinaire  quotes  a  captain 
of  a  mixed  tirailleur  and  zouave  regiment  as  saying: 

"It  is  not  so  much  the  death  that  follows,  as  death  no 
longer  is  a  dread  to  anyone,  but  it  has  been  noticed  that 
it  is  always  a  useless  form  of  death.  A  shell  splinter 
in  the  trenches  or,  at  best,  in  the  rear,  which  has  nothing 
heroic  about  it,  if  there  is  anything  in  this  war  which 
is  not  heroic." 


IN  THE  TRAIL  OF  THE  HUN 

WAR  has  become  so  much  a  part  of  the  life  of  the 
French  peasants  that  they  have  little  fear  under 
fire.  Frenchmen  over  military  age  and  Frenchwomen 
pursue  their  ordinary  avocations  with  little  concern  for 
exploding  shells.  To  be  surest  is  something  of  a  nuisance, 
but  children  play  while  their  mothers  work  at  the  tub 
washing  soldier  clothing.  And  as  the  Allied  armies 
advance,  wresting  a  mile  or  two  of  territory  from  the 
enemy  at  each  stroke,  the  peasant  follows  with  his  plow 
less  than  a  mile  behind  the  lines.  War  has  become  a 
part  of  their  lives.  Newman  Flower,  of  Cassell's  Maga- 
zine, has  been  "Out  There,"  and  he  thus  records  some 
of  his  impressions  in  the  trail  of  the  war : 

The  war  under  the  earth  is  a  most  extraordinary 
thing.  In  the  main,  the  army  you  see  in  the  war 
zone  is  not  a  combatant  army.  It  is  the  army  of  sup- 
ply. The  real  fighters  you  seldom  set  eyes  on  unless 
you  go  and  look  for  them.  And,  generally  speaking, 
the  ghastliness  of  war  is  carried  on  beneath  the  earth's 
level. 

Given  time,  the  Boche  will  take  a  lot  of  beating  as 
an  earth  delver.  At  one  spot  on  the  Somme  I  went 
into  a  veritable  underground  town,  where,  till  the  British 
deluge  overtook  them,  three  thousand  of  the  toughest 
Huns  the  Kaiser  had  put  into  his  line  lived  and  thrived. 
They  had  sets  of  compartments  there,  these  men,  with 
drawing-rooms  complete,  even  to  the  piano,  kitchen, 
30 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         31 

bathroom,  and  electric  light,  and  I  was  told  that  there 
was  one  place  where  you  could  have  your  photograph 
taken,  or  buy  a  pair  of  socks !  Every  visitor  down  the 
steps — except  the  British — was  required  to  turn  a  handle 
three  times,  which  pumped  air  into  the  lower  regions. 
If  you  descended  without  pumping  down  your  portion 
of  fresh  air  you  were  guilty  of  bad  manners. 

Anything  more  secure  has  not  been  invented  since 
Adam.  But  this  impregnable  city  fell  last  year,  as  all 
things  must  fall  before  the  steady  pressing  back  of 
British  infantry. 

The  writer  tells  of  discovering  in  an  old  French  town 
that  was  then  under  fire  a  shell-torn  building  on  which 
were  displayed  two  signs  reading  "First  Aid  Post"  and 
"Barber  Shop."    He  says: 

When  I  dived  inside  I  saw  one  man  having  his  arm 
dressed,  for  he  had  been  hit  by  a  piece  of  shell  in  the 
square,  and  in  a  chair  a  few  yards  away  a  Tommy 
having  a  shave.  Coming  in  as  a  stranger,  I  was  in- 
formed that  if  I  didn't  want  a  haircut  or  a  shave,  or 
hadn't  a  healthy  wound  to  dress,  this  was  not  the  Empire 
music  hall,  so  I  had  better  "hop  it." 

It  was  in  "hopping  it"  that  I  got  astride  an  unseen 
fiber  of  British  communication.  I  went  into  the  adjoin- 
ing ruins  of  a  big  building.  A  single  solitary  statue 
stood  aloof  in  a  devastation  of  tumbled  brick  and  stone. 
Then,  as  I  was  stepping  from  one  mound  of  rubble  to 
another,  as  one  steps  from  rock  to  rock  on  the  seashore, 
I  heard  voices  beneath  me.  The  wreckage  was  so  com- 
plete, so  unspeakably  complete,  that  human  voices 
directly  under  my  feet  seemed  at  first  startling  and 
indefinite.     Moreover,  to  add  to  my  confusion,  I  heard 


32         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

the  baa-ing  of  sheep,  likewise  under  the  earth.     But  I 
could  see  no  hole,  no  outlet. 

With  the  average  curiosity  of  the  Britisher  I  searched 
around  till  I  discovered  a  small  hole,  a  foot  in  diameter, 
maybe,  and  a  Tommy's  face  framed  in  it  laughing  up 
at  me. 

"Hello!"  he  said. 

I  pulled  up,  bewildered,  and  looked  at  him. 

"What  in  Heaven's  name  are  you  doing  in  there?"  I 
asked. 

"We're  telephones.  .  .  .  Got  any  matches?" 

"I  heard  sheep,"  I  informed  him. 

"And  what  if  you  did?    Got  them  matches?" 

I  tossed  him  a  box.  He  dived  into  darkness,  and  I 
heard  him  rejoicing  with  his  pals  because  he'd  found 
some  one  who'd  got  a  light.  It  meant  almost  as  much 
to  them  as  being  relieved. 

So  here  was  a  British  unit  hidden  where  the  worst 
Hun  shell  could  never  find  it,  and,  what  was  more,  here 
was  the  food  ready  to  kill  when,  during  some  awkward 
days,  the  Boche  shells  cut  off  supplies. 

Then  look  on  this  picture  of  a  war-desolated  country 
where  nature  has  been  stupidly  scarred  by  Teuton 
ruthlessness,  and  rubble-heaps  are  marked  by  boards 
bearing  the  name  of  the  village  that  had  stood  there : 

The  desert  was  never  more  lonely  than  those  vast 
tracts  of  land  the  armies  have  surged  over,  and  this 
loneliness  and  silence  are  more  acute  because  of  the 
suggestions  of  life  that  have  once  been  there.  It  is 
impressive,  awe-inspiring,  this  silence,  like  that  which 
follows  storm. 

Clear  away  to  the  horizon  no  hedge  or  tree  appears, 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         33 

all  landmarks  have  gone,  hills  have  been  planed  level 
by  the  sheer  blast  of  shells.     Here  is  a  rubble-heap  no 
higher  than  one's  shoulders  where  a  church  has  stood, 
and  the  graves  have  opened  beneath  pits  of  fire  to  make 
new  graves   for  the  living.     Patches   of  red  powder, 
washed  by  many  rains,  with  a  few  broken  bricks  among 
them,  mark  the  places  where  houses,  big  and  small,  once 
rested.     To  these  rubble-heaps,  which  were  once  vil- 
lages, the  inhabitants  will  come  back  one  day,  and  they 
will  scarcely  know  the  north  from  the  south.     Indeed, 
if  it  were  not  for  the  fact  that  each  rubble-heap  bears 
a  board  whereon  the  name  of  the  village  is  written,  in 
order  to  preserve  the  site,  they  would  never  find  theii 
way  there  at  all,  for  the  earth  they  knew  has  become  a 
strange  country.     Woods  are  mere  patches  of  brown 
stumps   knee-high — stumps    which,   with   nature's    life 
restricted,  are  trying  to  break  into  leaf  again  at  odd 
spots  on  the  trunks  where  leaves  never  grew  before. 
Mametz  Wood  and  Trone  Wood  appear  from  a  short 
distance  as  mere  scrabblings  in  the  earth. 

The  ground  which  but  a  few  months  ago  was  blasted 
paste  and  pulverization  has  now  under  the  suns  of 
summer  thrown  up  weed  growth  that  is  creeping  over 
the  earth  as  if  to  hide  its  hurt.  Wild  convolvulus  trails 
cautiously  across  the  remnants  of  riven  trenches,  and 
levers  itself  up  the  corners  of  sand  bags.  In  this  tangle 
the  shell  holes  are  so  close  that  they  merge  into  each 
other. 

The  loneliness  of  those  Somme  fields !  No  deserts  of 
the  world  can  show  such  unspeakable  solitude. 

One  comes  from  the  Somme  to  the  freed  villages  as 
one  might  emerge  from  the  desert  to  the  first  outposts 


34         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

of  human  life  at  a  township  on  the  desert's  rim.  Still 
there  are  no  trees  on  the  sky-line;  they  have  all  been 
cut  down  carefully  and  laid  at  a  certain  angle  beside  the 
stumps  just  as  a  platoon  of  soldiers  might  ground  their 
arms.  For  the  German  frightfulness  is  a  methodical 
tffair,  not  aroused  by  the  heat  of  battle,  but  coolly  cal- 
culated and  senseless.  Of  military  importance  it  has 
none. 

In  these  towns  evacuated  by  the  Germans  life  is 
slowly  beginning  to  stir  again  and  to  pick  up  the  threads 
of  1914.  People  who  have  lived  there  all  through  the 
deluge  seem  but  partially  aware  as  yet  that  they  are 
free.    And  some  others  are  returning  hesitatingly. 

Mr.  Flower  notes  with  interest  the  temperamental 
change  that  has  been  wrought  by  the  war  in  the  man 
from  twenty  to  thirty-five  years  old.  To  the  older  ones 
it  all  is  only  a  "beastly  uncomfortable  nuisance,"  and 
when  it  is  over  they  will  go  back  to  their  usual  avoca- 
tions. Here  is  the  general  view  of  the  middle-aged  men 
in  the  battle  line : 

"What  are  you  going  to  do  after  the  war?"  I  asked 
one. 

I  believe  he  thought  I  was  joking,  for  he  looked  at 
me  very  curiously. 

"Do?"  he  echoed.  "I'm  going  to  do  what  any  sane 
man  of  my  age  would  do.  I'm  going  straight  back  to 
it — back  to  work.  This  is  just  marking  time  in  one's 
life,  like  having  to  go  to  a  wedding  on  one's  busiest  mail 
day.  I'm  not  going  to  exploit  the  war  as  a  means  of 
getting  a  living,  or  emigrate,  or  do  any  fool  thing  like 
that.  I'm  going  straight  back  to  my  office,  I  am.  I 
know  exactly  where  I  turned  down  the  page  of  my  sales 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         35 

book  when  I  came  out — it  was  page  seventy-nine — and 
I'm  going  to  start  again  on  page  eighty." 

With  the  younger  men  it  is  different.  It  has  struck 
a  new  spark  in  them  and  fired  a  spirit  of  adventure. 
There  are  those  who  even  enjoy  the  war,  and  to  whom 
one  day,  when  peace  comes,  life  will  seem  very  tame. 
The  writer  cites  this  case: 

He  is  quite  a  young  man,  and  what  this  adventurous 
fellow  was  before  he  took  his  commission  and  went  to 
the  war  I  do  not  pretend  to  know.  But  he  displayed 
most  conspicuous  bravery  and  usefulness  from  the  hour 
he  fetched  up  at  the  British  front. 

One  day  he  was  very  badly  wounded  in  the  back,  and 
as  soon  as  he  neared  convalescence  he  became  restive 
and  wished  to  return  to  his  men,  and  he  did  return 
before  he  should  have  done.  The  doctor  knew  he  would 
finish  a  deal  quicker  when  he  got  back  to  the  lines  than 
he  would  in  a  hospital. 

There  are  some  rare  creatures  who  are  built  that  way. 
Shortly  afterward  he  was  wounded  again,  and  while 
walking  to  the  dressing  station  was  wounded  a  third 
time,  on  this  occasion  very  badly. 

He  stuck  it  at  the  hospital  as  long  as  he  could — then 
one  day  he  disappeared.  No  one  saw  him  go.  He  had 
got  out,  borrowed  a  horse,  and  ridden  back  to  his  lines. 

The  absence  of  the  fighting  men  from  the  view  of 
an  observer  of  a  modern  battle  strongly  impressed  the 
writer,  who  says: 

Most  men  who  come  upon  a  modern  battle  for  the 
first  time  would  confess  to  finding  it  not  what  they 
expected.  For  the  old  accepted  idea  of  battle  is  hard 
to  eliminate.     One  has  become  accustomed  to  looking 


36         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

for  great  arrays  of  fighters  ready  for  the  bout,  with 
squadrons  of  cavalry  waiting  somewhere  beyond  a  screen 
of  trees,  and  guns — artfully  hidden  guns — bellying 
smoke  from  all  points  of  the  compass.  The  battle 
pictures  in  our  galleries,  the  lead  soldiers  we  played 
with  as  children  and  engaged  in  visible  conflict,  have 
kept  up  the  illusion. 

You  know  before  you  come  to  it  that  it  is  not  so  in 
this  war,  but  this  battle  of  hidden  men  pulls  you  up 
with  a  jolt  as  not  being  quite  what  you  expected  to  see. 
You  feel  almost  as  if  you  had  been  robbed  of  something. 

The  first  battle  I  saw  on  the  western  front  I  watched 
for  two  and  a  half  hours,  and  during  that  time  (with  the 
exception  of  five  men  who  debouched  from  a  distant 
wood  like  five  ants  scuttling  out  of  a  nest  of  moss,  to 
be  promptly  shot  down)  I  did  not  see  a  man  at  all.  The 
battle  might  have  been  going  on  in  an  enormous  house 
and  I  standing  on  the  roof  trying  to  see  it. 

But  if  there  is  little  or  nothing  to  be  seen  of  the  human 
agents  that  direct  the  devastating  machines  of  war  dur- 
ing a  battle,  the  scene  of  the  field  after  the  fight  has 
been  waged  discloses  all  the  horror  that  has  not  been 
visible  to  the  eye  of  an  observer.  Mr.  Flower  thus 
describes  one  section  of  the  theater  of  war  in  France: 

Our  car  rushes  down  a  long  descending  road,  and  is 
driven  at  breakneck  speed  by  one  of  those  drivers  with 
which  the  front  is  strewn,  who  are  so  accustomed  to 
danger  that  to  dance  on  the  edge  of  it  all  the  time  is 
the  breath  of  life.  To  slow  down  to  a  rational  thirty 
miles  an  hour  is  to  them  positive  pain;  to  leap  shell 
holes  at  fifty  or  plow  across  a  newly  made  road  of  broken 
brick  at  the  same  velocity  is  their  ecstasy.    And  one  of 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         37 

the  greatest  miracles  of  the  war  is  the  cars  that  stand 
it  without  giving  up  the  unequal  contest  by  flying  into 
half  a  hundred  fragments. 

But  this  road  is  tolerable  even  for  a  war  road,  and 
it  runs  parallel  with  a  long  down  which  has  been  scrab- 
bled out  here  and  there  into  patches  of  white  by  the 
hands  of  men.  It  is  Notre  Dame  de  Lorette,  no  higher 
than  an  average  Sussex  down,  mark  you,  and  lower  than 
most.  Yet  I  was  told  that  on  this  patch  of  down  over 
&  hundred  thousand  men  have  died  since  the  war  began. 
Running  at  right  angles  at  its  foot  is  a  lower  hill,  no 
higher  than  the  foothill  to  a  Derbyshire  height,  but 
known  to  the  world  now  as  Vimy  Ridge.  And  this  road 
leads  you  into  a  small  section  of  France,  a  section  of 
four  square  miles  or  so,  every  yard  of  which  is  literally 
soaked  with  the  blood  of  men. 

On  the  right  is  Souchez,  and  the  wood  of  Souchez  all 
bare  stumps  and  brokenness;  here  the  sugar  refinery, 
which  changed  hands  eight  times,  and  is  now  no  more 
than  a  couple  of  shot-riddled  boilers,  tilted  at  odd  angles 
with  some  steel  girders  twirled  like  sprung  wire  rearing 
over  them;  and  around  this  conglomeration  a  pile  of 
brick  powder.  You  wonder  what  there  was  here  worth 
dying  for,  since  a  rat  would  fight  shy  of  the  place  for 
want  of  a  square  inch  of  shelter.  And  where  is  Souchez 
River?  you  ask,  for  Souchez  River  is  now  as  famous 
as  the  Amazon.  Here  it  is,  a  sluggish  sort  of  brook, 
crawling  in  and  out  of  broken  tree-trunks  that  have 
been  blasted  down  athwart  it,  running  past  banks  a 
foot  high  or  so,  a  river  you  could  almost  step  across, 
and  which  would  be  well-nigh  too  small  to  name  in 
Devonshire. 


38         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

We  leave  our  cars  under  a  bank  and  come  on  down 
through  the  dead  jetsam  of  the  village  of  Ablain  St. 
Nazaire.  The  old  church  is  still  here  on  the  left,  the 
only  remnant  of  a  respectable  rate-paying  hamlet.  The 
remaining  portion  of  its  square  tower  is  clear  and  white, 
for  the  stonework  has  been  literally  skinned  by  flying 
fragments  of  steel,  till  it  is  about  as  clean  as  when  it 
was  built. 

We  reach  the  foot  of  Vimy  Ridge  and  climb  up. 
Here,  some  one  told  me,  corn  once  grew,  but  now  it  is 
sodden  chalk,  pasted  and  mixed  as  if  by  some  giant 
mixing  machine  with  the  shattered  weapons  of  war. 

Broken  trenches — the  German  front  line — in  places 
remain  and  extend  a  few  yards,  only  to  disappear  into 
the  rubble  where  the  tide  swept  over  them. 

As  we  climb,  the  earth  beneath  my  foot  suddenly  gives 
way,  letting  me  down  with  a  jerk  to  the  hip,  and  opening 
up  a  hole  through  which  I  peer  and  see  a  dead  Boche 
coiled  up,  his  face — or  so  I  suspect  it  was — resting  upon 
his  arm  to  protect  it  from  some  oncoming  horror. 

We  climb  on  up.  We  drop  into  pits  and  grope  out  of 
them  again,  pasted  with  the  whiteness  of  chalk.  From 
somewhere  behind  us  a  howitzer  is  throwing  shells  over 
our  heads,  shells  that  come  on  and  pass  with  the  rush 
of  a  train  pitching  itself  recklessly  out  of  control.  We 
listen  to  the  clamor  as  it  goes  on — a  couple  of  miles  or 
so — separating  itself  from  the  ill  assortment  of  snarling 
and  smashing  and  breaking  and  grunting  that  rises  from 
the  battlefield. 

As  they  climbed  the  ridge  the  guns  seemed  to  be 
muffled  until  they  got  beyond  the  shelter  of  Notre  Dame 
de  Lorette.     Then,  says  the  writer: 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         39 

We  suddenly  appeared  to  tumble  into  a  welter  of 
sound.  And  the  higher  we  climbed  Vimy,  the  louder 
the  tumult  became.  "Aunty/'  throwing  over  heavy 
stuff,  had  but  a  few  moments  before  been  the  only 
near  thing  in  the  battle.  Now  the  contrast  was  such 
as  if  we  had  been  suddenly  pushed  into  the  middle 
of  the  battle.  The  air  was  full  of  strange,  harsh  noises 
and  crackings  and  cries.  And  the  earth  before  us  was 
alive  with  subdued  flame  flashes  and  growing  bushes 
of  smoke. 

Five  miles  away,  Lens,  its  church  spires  adrift  in 
eddies  of  smoke,  appeared  very  unconscious  of  it  all. 
Just  showing  on  the  horizon  was  Douai,  and  I  won- 
dered what  forests  of  death  lay  waiting  between  those 
Lens  churches  and  the  Douai  outlines  where  the  ground 
was  sunken  and  mysterious  under  the  haze. 

Here,  then,  was  the  panorama  of  battle.  Never  a 
man  in  sight,  but  the  entire  earth  goaded  by  some  vast 
invisible  force.  Clots  of  smoke  of  varying  colors  arrived 
from  nowhere,  died  away,  or  were  smudged  out  by  other 
clots.  A  big  black  pall  hung  over  Givenchy  like  the 
sounding-board  over  a  cathedral  pulpit.  A  little  farther 
on  the  village  of  Angres  seemed  palisaded  with  points 

of  flame.     Away  to  the  right  the  long,  straight  road 

from  Lens  to  Arras  showed  clear  and  strong  without  a 

speck  of  life  upon  it. 

No  life  anywhere,  no  human  thing  moving.     And  yet 

one  believed  that  under  a  thin  crust  of  earth  the  whole 

forces    of   Europe   were   struggling    and   throwing  up 

sound. 

Among  all  the  combatants  there  is  a  desire  for  peace, 

says  Mr.  Flower,  who  found  a  striking  example  of  the 


40         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

sentiment  of  the  Boche  in  what  had  been  the  crypt  of 
the  Bapaume  cathedral.    He  writes : 

I  saw  scores  of  skulls  of  those  who  were  dead  many- 
decades  before  the  war  rolled  over  Europe,  and  on  the 
skull  of  one  I  saw  scribbled  in  indelible  pencil: 

"Dass  der  Friede  hommen  mag'* 

("Hurry  up,  Peace.") — Otto  Triibner. 

Now,  Otto  Triibner  may  be  a  very  average  repre- 
sentative of  his  type.  And  maybe  Otto  Triibner 's  head 
now  bears  a  passing  likeness  to  the  skull  he  scribbled 
on  in  vandal  fashion  before  he  evacuated  Bapaume. 
But  whether  or  no,  he  is,  metaphorically  speaking,  a 
straw  which  shows  the  play  of  the  wind. 


SOME  STUNT—TRY  IT 

Sergeant  (drilling  awkward  squad) — "Company  !  At- 
tention company,  lift  up  your  left  leg  and  hold  it 
straight  out  in  front  of  you !" 

One  of  the  squad  held  up  his  right  leg  by  mistake. 
This  brought  his  right-hand  companion's  left  leg  and 
his  own  right  leg  close  together.  The  officer,  seeing 
this,  exclaimed  angrily: 

"And  who  is  that  blooming  galoot  over  there  holding 
up  both  legs?" 


WHEN  THE  HUN  QUIT  SMOKING 

Tommy  I — "That's  a  top-hole  pipe,  Jerry.  Where 
d'ye  get  it?" 

Tommy  II — "One  of  them  German  Huns  tried  to 
take  me  prisoner  an'  I  in'erited  it  from  'im." 


WHEN  "ACE"  LUFBERY  BAGGED  NO.  13 

LIEUT.  GERVAIS  RAOUL  LUFBERY,  an  "Ace" 
of  the  Lafayette  Escadrille,  has  brought  down  his 
thirteenth  enemy  airplane.  The  German  machine  was 
first  seen  by  Lufbery — who  was  scouting — several  hun- 
dred yards  above  him.  By  making  a  wide  detour  and 
climbing  at  a  sharp  angle  he  maneuvered  into  a  position 
above  the  enemy  plane  at  an  altitude  of  five  thousand 
yards  and  directly  over  the  trenches.  The  German  pilot 
was  killed  by  Lufbery's  first  shot  and  the  machine 
started  to  fall.  The  gunner  in  the  German  plane  quickly 
returned  the  fire,  even  as  he  was  falling  to  his  death. 
One  of  his  bullets  punctured  the  radiator  and  lodged 
in  the  carburetor  of  Lufbery's  plane,  and  he  was  forced 
to  descend. 

To  a  writer  in  the  Philadelphia  Public  Ledger  Luf- 
bery describes  the  type  of  young  man  America  will  need 
for  her  air  fleet.    He  says : 

"It  will  take  the  cream  of  the  American  youth  be- 
tween the  ages  of  eighteen  and  twenty-six  to  man 
America's  thousands  of  airplanes,  and  the  double  cream 
of  youth  to  qualify  as  chasers  in  the  Republic's  new 
aerial  army. 

"Intensive  and  scientific  training  must  be  given  this 
cream  of  youth  upon  which  America's  welfare  in  the 
air  must  rest.  Experience  has  shown  that  for  best 
results  the  fighting  aviator  should  not  be  over  twenty- 
six  years    old   or   under   eighteen.      The   youth   under 

41 


42         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

eighteen  has  shown  himself  to  be  bold,  but  he  lacks 
judgment.     Men  over  twenty-six  are  too  cautious. 

"The  best  air  fighters,  especially  a  man  handling  a 
'chaser/  must  be  of  perfect  physique.  He  must  have 
the  coolest  nerve  and  be  of  a  temperament  that  longs 
for  a  fight.  He  must  have  a  sense  of  absolute 
duty  and  fearlessness,  the  keenest  sense  of  action  and 
perfect  sight  to  gain  the  absolute  'feel'  of  his 
machine. 

"He  must  be  entirely  familiar  with  aerial  acrobatics. 
The  latter  frequently  means  life  or  death. 

"Fighting  twenty-two  thousand  feet  in  the  air  pro- 
duces a  heavy  strain  on  the  heart.  It  is  vital,  therefore, 
that  this  organ  show  not  the  slightest  evidence  of  weak- 
ness. Such  weakness  would  decrease  the  aviator's 
fighting  efficiency. 

"The  American  boys  who  come  over  here  for  this 
work  will  be  subject  to  rapid  and  frequent  variations 
in  altitude.  It  is  a  common  occurrence  to  dive  verti- 
cally from  six  thousand  to  ten  thousand  feet  with  the 
motor  pulling  hard. 

"Sharpness  of  vision  is  imperative.  Otherwise  the 
enemy  may  escape  or  the  aviator  himself  will  be  sur- 
prised or  mistake  a  friendly  machine  for  a  hostile  craft. 
The  differences  are  often  merely  insignificant  colors 
and  details. 

"America's  aviators  must  be  men  who  will  be  absolute 
masters  of  themselves  under  fire,  thinking  out  their 
attacks  as  their  fight  progresses. 

"Experience  has  shown  that  the  'chaser'  men  should 
weigh  under  one  hundred  eighty  pounds.  Americans 
from  the  ranks  of  sport — youths  who  have  played  base- 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         43 

ball,  polo,  football,  or  have  shot  and  participated  in 
other  sports — will  probably  make  the  best  chasers." 

Lufbery  is  a  daring  aviator  and  has  already  been 
decorated  with  four  military  medals  awarded  for  aerial 
bravery.  His  life  has  been  full  of  adventure  even 
before  he  thought  of  becoming  an  airman.  The  Ledger 
says: 

Fifteen  years  ago  the  aviator,  then  seventeen  years 
old,  left  his  home  in  Wallingford,  Conn.,  and  set  out 
to  see  the  world.  First  he  went  to  France,  the  land  of 
his  progenitors.  He  visited  Paris,  Marseilles,  Bourges, 
and  other  cities.   Then  he  went  to  Africa. 

In  Turkey  he  worked  for  some  time  in  a  restaurant. 
His  plan  was  to  visit  a  city,  get  a  job  that  would  keep 
him  until  he  had  seen  what  he  desired,  and  then  depart 
to  a  new  field  of  adventure.  In  this  manner  he  traveled 
through  Europe,  Africa,  and  South  America.  In  1906 
he  returned  to  his  home  in  Connecticut.  The  following 
year  he  went  to  New  Orleans,  enlisted  in  the  United 
States  army,  and  was  sent  to  the  Philippine  Islands. 
Two  years  later,  upon  being  mustered  out,  Lufbery 
visited  Japan  and  China,  exploring  those  countries 
thoroughly.  Then  he  went  to  India  and  worked  as  a 
ticket  collector  on  a  Bombay  railroad.  While  engaged 
at  this  occupation  he  kicked  out  of  the  railway  station 
one  of  the  most  prominent  citizens  of  Bombay.  The 
latter  had  insisted  that  Lufbery  say  "sir"  to  him.  The 
aviator  always  did  have  a  hot  temper. 

Lufbery's  next  occupation,  and  the  business  to  which 
he  has  remained  attached  ever  since,  was  had  at  Saigon, 
Cochin  China,  where  he  met  Marc  Pourpe,  a  young 
French  aviator,  who  was  giving  flying  exhibitions  in 


44         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

Asia.  He  needed  an  assistant.  Lufbery  never  had  seen 
an  airplane,  but  he  applied  for  the  job  and  got  it. 

The  two  men  gave  exhibitions  over  the  French  prov- 
inces in  Indo-China.  After  one  of  these  flights  the 
King  of  Cambodia  was  so  pleased  that  he  presented 
each  aviator  with  a  decoration  that  entitled  him  to  a 
guard  of  honor  on  the  streets  of  any  town  within  the 
realm. 

Lufbery  and  Pourpe,  now  inseparable  comrades,  went 
to  Paris  to  get  a  new  airplane.  War  was  declared,  and 
Pourpe  volunteered  as  an  aviator.  Lufbery,  who  was 
anxious  to  be  with  his  friend,  tried  also  to  enlist,  but 
was  told  that  he  must  enter  the  Foreign  Legion,  as  he 
was  not  a  French  citizen. 

Pourpe  was  shot  to  death  during  one  of  his  wonderful 
air  feats ;  and,  wishing  to  avenge  the  death  of  his  friend, 
Lufbery  asked  to  be  trained  as  an  airplane  pilot.  His 
request  was  granted  and  in  the  summer  of  1916  he  went 
to  the  front  as  a  member  of  the  American  Escadrille. 
It  was  on  August  4  of  that  year  that  he  brought  down 
his  third  enemy  plane,  and  soon  afterward  was  deco- 
rated with  the  Military  Medal  and  the  French  War 
Cross,  with  the  following  citation: 

"Lufbery,  Raoul,  sergeant  with  the  escadrille  No. 
124;  a  model  of  skill,  sang  froid,  and  courage.  Has 
distinguished  himself  by  numerous  long-distance  bom- 
bardments and  by  the  daily  combats  which  he  delivers 
to  enemy  airplanes.  On  July  31  he  attacked  at  short 
range  a  group  of  four  German  airplanes.  He  shot  one 
of  them  down  near  our  lines.  On  August  4,  1916,  he 
succeeded  in  bring  down  a  second  one." 

Two  or  more  combats  a  day  in  the  air  came  to  be  a 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         45 

common  occurrence  with  Lufbery,  and  many  times  he 
returned  to  the  base  with  his  machine  full  of  holes  and 
his  clothing  cut  by  German  bullets. 

When  Lufbery  heard  of  the  death  of  Kiffin  Rockwell 
he  ordered  his  gasoline  tank  refilled  and  soared  into  the 
sky,  in  the  hope  of  avenging  the  death  of  his  comrade. 
But  no  enemy  machine  was  to  be  found.  Of  Lufbery's 
further  exploits  The  Ledger  says: 

During  the  bombardment  of  the  Mauser  factories  on 
October  12,  1916,  the  intrepid  aviator  brought  down  a 
three-manned  aviatik.  This  was  counted  as  his  fifth 
official  victory  and  gained  him  additional  honors.  It 
was  during  this  raid  that  Norman  Prince  was  mortally 
wounded. 

After  the  escadrille  had  moved  to  the  Somme  battle- 
field, Lufbery,  on  November  9  and  10,  brought  down 
two  more  German  planes.  These,  however,  fell  too  far 
within  their  own  lines  to  be  placed  to  his  official  credit. 
On  December  27,  1916,  he  nearly  lost  his  life  in  bring- 
ing down  his  sixth  flier  of  the  enemy.  Four  bullets 
riddled  the  machine  close  to  his  body.  For  this  victory 
he  received  the  Cross  of  the  Legion  of  Honor. 

In  March  of  this  year  he  was  officially  credited  with 
bringing  down  his  seventh  German  aircraft.  The  others 
have  been  sent  hurtling  to  the  earth  at  different  times 
since  then. 

Lufbery  is  a  quiet,  level-headed  man.  His  particular 
friend  in  the  Lafayette  Escadrille  of  American  fliers 
is  Sergeant  Paul  Pavelka,  who  also  hails  from  Connec- 
ticut, and  who  has  himself  seen  quite  a  bit  of  the  world. 
Lufbery  has  his  own  special  methods  of  attacking  enemy 
airplanes ;  he  is  cool,  cautious,  and  brave,  and  an  excep- 


46         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

tionally  fine  shot.  When  he  was  a  soldier  in  the  United 
States  army  he  won  and  held  the  marksmanship  medal 
of  his  regiment.  He  has  been  cited  in  army  orders 
twice  since  August,  1916. 


HORSE  AND  HORSE 

An  anemic  elderly  woman,  who  looked  as  if  she  might 
have  as  much  maternal  affection  as  an  incubator,  sized 
up  a  broad-shouldered  cockney  who  was  idly  looking 
into  a  window  on  the  Strand  in  London,  and  in  a  rasp- 
ing voice  said  to  him : 

"My  good  man,  why  aren't  you  in  the  trenches? 
Aren't  you  willing  to  do  anything  for  your  country?" 

Turning  around  slowly,  he  looked  at  her  a  second  and 
replied  contemptuously : 

"Move  on,  you  slacker!     Where's  your  war-baby?" 


WHY  TOMMY  JOINED  THE  CHURCH 

"Tommy  Atkins"  pleaded  exemption  from  church 
parade  on  the  ground  that  he  was  an  agnostic.  The 
sergeant-major  assumed  an  expression  of  innocent  in- 
terest. 

"Don't  you  believe  in  the  Ten  Commandments?"  he 
mildly  asked  the  bold  freethinker. 

"Not  one,  sir,"  was  the  reply. 

"What!     Not  the  rule  about  keeping  the  Sabbath?" 

"No,  sir." 

"Ah,  well,  you're  the  very  man  I've  been  looking  for 
to  scrub  out  the  canteen." 


LIFE  AT  THE  FRONT 

HERE  are  letters  from  the  boys  at  the  front  telling 
the  folks  at  home  of  their  experiences,  humorous, 
pathetic,  and  tragic.  They  present  pictures  of  war  life 
with  an  intimate  touch  that  brings  out  all  the  striking 
detail.  James  E.  Parshall,  of  Detroit,  is  serving  with 
the  American  ambulance  unit  in  the  French  army.  The 
Detroit  Saturday  Night,  which  prints  his  letter,  believes 
that  the  "drive"  referred  to  by  him  was  either  on  the 
Aisne  front  or  in  the  Verdun  sector.  The  letter  says  in 
part: 

Dear  People:  Sherman  was  right!  I  have  been 
debating  with  myself  about  what  to  say  in  this  letter. 
I  think  I'll  tell  you  all  about  it  and  add  that  if  by  the 
time  this  reaches  you  you  have  heard  nothing  to  the 
contrary,  I  am  all  O.  K.  You  see,  we  are  in  a  big 
offensive  which  will  be  over  in  about  ten  days.  As  a 
rule  it's  not  nearly  as  bad  as  this. 

The  day  before  yesterday  we  arrived  at  our  base, 
about  seven  miles  from  the  lines.  It  is  a  little  town 
which  has  been  pretty  well  shot  up,  and  is  shelled  now 
about  once  a  week.  In  the  afternoon  one  driver  from 
each  car  was  taken  up  and  shown  the  roads  and  posts. 
The  coin  flopped  for  me. 

The  roads  to  the  front  run  mostly  through  deep  woods. 
These  woods  are  full  of  very  heavy  batteries  which  are 
continually  shelling  the  enemy,  and,  in  turn,  we  are 
continuously  being  sought  out  by  the  Boche  gunners. 

47 


48         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

As  a  result,  it's  some  hot  place  to  drive  through.  Also, 
as  a  result  of  the  continuous  shelling,  the  roads  are 
very  bad. 

[Here  there  is  a  break  in  the  letter,  which  begins 
again  after  four  days.] 

I  was  so  nervous  when  I  started  this  letter  that  I  had 
to  quit,  and  this  is  the  first  time  since  then  that  I  have 
felt  like  writing.  A  great  deal  has  happened,  but  in 
order  not  to  mix  everything  up  I'll  start  in  where  I 
left  off. 

Our  first  post  from  the  base  is  in  a  little  village  which 
is  entirely  demolished.  It  is  in  a  little  valley,  and  the 
two  big  marine  guns  that  are  stationed  there  draw  a 
very  disquieting  Boche  fire  about  five  times  a  day  regu- 
larly. The  next  post  is  at  a  graveyard  in  the  woods. 
There  are  no  batteries  in  the  immediate  vicinity,  and 
so  it  is  quiet,  but  not  very  cheerful.  (That's  where  I 
am  now,  "on  reserve.") 

The  third  post  out  is  where  we  got  our  initiation.  It 
was  a  hot  one !  Right  next  to  the  abri  is  a  battery  of 
three  very  large  mortars.  Besides  these  there  are 
several  batteries  of  smaller  guns.  When  we  came  up 
they  were  all  going  at  full  tilt.  In  addition,  the  Bodies 
had  just  got  the  range  and  the  shells  were  exploding 
all  around  us.  As  we  jumped  out  of  the  car  and  ran 
for  the  abri  two  horses  tied  to  a  tree  about  fifty  feet 
from  us  were  hit  and  killed.  We  waited  in  the  abri  till 
the  bombardment  calmed  a  bit.  When  we  came  out  two 
more  horses  were  dead  and  a  third  kicking  his  last. 

From  here  we  walked  about  a  half  mile  to  the  most 
advanced  post  on  that  road.  I'll  never  forget  that  walk ! 
The  noise  was  terrific  and  the  shells  passing  overhead 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES  49 

made  a  continuous  scream.  Quite  frequently  we  would 
hear  the  distinctive  screech  of  an  incoming  shell.  Then 
everyone  would  fall  flat  on  his  stomach  in  the  road. 

Believe  me,  we  were  a  scared  bunch  of  boys !  I  was 
absolutely  terrified,  and  I  don't  think  I  was  the  only 
one.  Well,  we  eventually  got  back  to  the  car  and  to 
the  base. 

At  twelve  o'clock  that  night  the  Bodies  started  shell- 
ing the  town.  You  can't  imagine  the  feeling  it  gives 
one  in  the  pit  of  one's  stomach  to  hear  the  gun  go  off 
in  the  distance,  then  the  horrible  screech  of  the  onrush- 
ing  shell,  and  finally  the  deafening  explosion  that  shakes 
the  plaster  down  on  your  cot.  Our  chiefs  were  at  the 
outposts,  and  none  of  us  knew  enough  to  get  out  and  go 
to  the  abri,  so  we  just  lay  there  shivering  and  sweating 
a  cold  sweat  through  the  whole  bombardment.  Gosh, 
but  I  was  a  scared  boy ! 

Of  a  gas  attack  he  writes:  "We  had  to  wear  those 
suffocating  gas  masks  for  five  hours,"  and  then: 

About  three  o'clock  in  the  morning  the  car  ahead  of 
us  at  the  post  started  out  in  their  masks  and  in  the 
pitch  of  blackness  with  a  load.  In  about  a  half  hour 
one  of  the  boys  on  the  car  staggered  back  into  the  abri, 
half  gassed,  and  said  that  they  were  in  the  ditch  down 
in  a  little  valley  full  of  gas.  So  we  had  to  go  down 
and  get  their  load.  Believe  me,  it  was  some  ticklish 
and  nerve-racking  job  to  transfer  three  groaning 
couches  from  a  car  in  the  ditch  at  a  perilous  angle  to 
ours,  in  a  cloud  of  gas,  and  with  the  shells  bursting 
uncomfortably  near  quite  frequently. 

We  finally  got  them  in  and  got  started.  We  got  about 
a  half  mile  farther  on  to  the  top  of  the  hill  going  down 


50         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

into  what  is  known  as  "Death  Valley."  In  the  valley 
was  a  sight  that  was  most  discouraging.  Seven  or  eight 
horses  were  lying  in  the  road,  gassed,  some  of  them 
still  kicking.  A  big  camion  was  half  in  the  ditch  and 
half  on  the  road.  An  ammunition  caisson  that  had  tried 
to  get  past  the  blockade  by  going  down  through  the  ditch 
was  stuck  there. 

Remember  that  all  this  was  just  at  the  break  of  dawn, 
in  a  cloud  of  gas,  with  the  French  batteries  making  a 
continuous  roar  and  an  occasional  Boche  shell  making 
every  one  flop  on  his  stomach. 

How  we  ever  got  through  there  I  really  couldn't  tell 
you.  My  partner  told  the  Frenchmen  who  were  vainly 
trying  to  straighten  out  the  mess  that  we  had  a  couple 
of  dying  men  in  the  car,  so  they  yanked  a  few  horses  to 
one  side,  drove  the  camion  a  little  farther  into  the  ditch, 
and,  by  driving  over  a  horse's  head  and  another  one's 
legs,  I  got  through. 

On  the  whole,  I've  been  quite  lucky.  Some  of  the 
other  boys  have  had  some  really  awful  experiences. 

About  the  day  after  tomorrow  we  go  en  repos,  and 
it's  sure  going  to  seem  good  to  eat  and  sleep,  without 
getting  up  and  sprinting  for  an  abri  or  throwing  one's 
self,  and  incidentally  a  plate  of  good  food,  on  the 
ground. 

We  saw  a  very  interesting  thing  the  other  day.  We 
were  sitting  out  in  front  of  our  cantonment  at  the  base. 
About  a  quarter  of  a  mile  from  us  was  one  of  the  big 
observation  balloons  or  "sausages."  Suddenly,  from 
behind  a  cloud,  j  ust  above  the  balloon  a  Boche  aeroplane 
darted  out.  The  Boche  and  the  balloonist  both  fired 
their  machine  guns  at  each  other  simultaneously.    The 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES  51 

aeroplane  wobbled  a  little  and  started  to  volplane  to 
earth.  The  balloon  burst  into  flames.  The  observer 
dropped  about  fifty  feet,  and  then  his  parachute  opened 
and  he  sailed  slowly  down.  When  the  Boche  landed 
they  found  him  dead  with  a  bullet  in  his  chest.  It  was 
quite  an  exciting  sight. 

A  battle  between  two  planes  is  quite  common,  and 
one  can  look  up  at  almost  any  time  and  see  the  aircraft 
bombs  bursting  around  some  Boche  thousands  of  feel 
in  the  air. 

At  last  the  "drive"  is  over,  and  the  letter  describes 
the  prisoners,  at  whose  youth  he  expresses  surprise. 
But  they  are  happy,  though  nearly  starved — happy  to 
be  prisoners.   The  writer  says : 

I  have  seen  hundreds  of  Boche  prisoners,  four  thou- 
sand having  been  taken  in  the  attack.  We  see  them 
march  past  the  poste-de-secours  about  half  an  hour 
after  they  have  been  captured.  I  have  talked  with 
several  of  them  and  received  lots  of  interesting  infor- 
mation. They  are  all  very  happy,  but  nearly  starved. 
Two  slightly  wounded  ones  were  brought  into  the  post 
the  other  day.  A  dirty  little  crust  of  bread  was  lying 
on  the  ground.  They  both  made  a  dive  for  it.  They  are 
all  awfully  young,  mostly  between  seventeen  and  twenty- 
one. 

One  of  them  told  me,  among  other  things,  that  by 
next  spring  Germany  would  be  absolutely  finished.  A 
soldier's  fare,  he  said,  was  one  pound  of  poor  bread 
and  one  liter  of  wine  a  day,  except  during  a  heavy 
attack,  when  they  are  given  some  thin  soup.  The 
civilians,  he  said,  were  still  worse  off,  especially  in  the 
cities. 


52         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

An  Iowa  boy,  a  Y.  M.C.A.  secretary,  who  is  in  the 
camion  service  in  the  French  army,  tells  how  he  arrived 
in  Paris,  how  he  happened  to  become  a  soldier  of  France, 
and  some  other  interesting  details,  including  the  amount 
of  his  salary — $1.20  per  month!  He  found  the  ambu- 
lance service — which  he  had  intended  to  join — crowded, 
and  was  told  that  there  would  be  some  delay  in  getting 
cars.  Even  if  he  did  get  a  car  he  was  told  that  the 
chances  were  against  his  seeing  any  action,  as  he  might 
be  attached  to  an  inactive  division.  He  was  therefore 
urged  to  join  the  camion  service — the  ammunition  truck 
organization — in  which  he  was  assured  he  would  be 
kept  busy  day  and  night  as  long  as  he  could  stand  it. 
There  was  no  camouflage  about  that.  In  order  to  get 
into  this  service,  one  must  join  the  French  army,  and 
after  thinking  the  matter  over  for  a  few  days  the  Iowa 
lad  "joined"  the  French  colors  with  a  group  of  Amer- 
ican college  boys.  Here  is  his  letter  in  part  as  printed 
in  Wallace's  Farmer,  of  Des  Moines : 

So  here  I  am  enrolled  as  a  member  of  the  French 
army,  carrying  a  French  gun,  gas  mask,  and  helmet, 
and  eating  French  army  rations.  We  are  paid  for  our 
services  the  sum  of  $1.20  a  month.  We  underwent  a 
week  of  intensive  training,  being  drilled  in  the  French 
manual  and  army  movements,  and  spending  our  leisure 
hours  in  building  roads. 

Our  sector  was  active  when  we  arrived  at  the  camp, 
which  is  situated  a  few  miles  back  of  the  lines;  so  we 
were  put  to  work  almost  immediately.  We  make  two 
kinds  of  trips,  day  trips  and  night  trips;  and  perhaps 
if  I  tell  you  about  my  first  experience  in  each  it  will 
give  you  an  idea  of  the  character. 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         53 

We  were  called  at  3:30  a.m.,  so  as  to  be  ready  to 
leave  at  four  o'clock.  Our  convoy  went  to  the  nearby 
loading  station  and  loaded  up  with  468  rounds  of  ammu- 
nition for  the  French  "75"  guns,  which  correspond  to 
our  three-inch  guns.  We  carted  these  up  to  the  dumping 
station  near  the  batteries,  and  then  came  back.  Nothing 
exciting  happened,  and  we  arrived  in  camp  about  7  p.m. 
That  night  I  was  on  guard  duty  during  the  last  watch, 
and  the  following  morning  we  worked  our  cars.  The 
rough  roads  and  the  heavy  loads  are  very  hard  on  the 
cars  as  well  as  on  the  drivers,  so  that  we  must  go  over 
the  cars  every  day  to  keep  them  in  the  pink  of  condition. 

That  afternoon  we  got  our  orders  to  leave  at  4  p.m. 
We  loaded  with  barbed  wire,  iron  posts,  and  lumber. 
The  man  in  charge  at  the  yards  warned  us  that  the  wind 
was  exactly  right  for  Fritz  to  send  over  a  bit  of  gas. 
So  we  hung  our  gas  masks  about  our  necks.  It  takes 
only  thirty  seconds  for  the  gas  to  get  in  its  work  on 
you,  and  you  must  be  prepared  to  put  on  the  mask 
quickly.  We  started  for  the  front  at  dark;  no  lights 
were  allowed.  We  traveled  along  screened  roads,  by 
columns  of  artillery  wagons,  and  with  infantry  moving 
in  every  direction,  and  with  staff  cars  and  ambulances 
dodging  in  and  out  for  several  miles.  Finally  we  turned 
off  on  a  narrow  road  which  bore  the  marks  of  having 
received  a  shelling,  and  went  through  towns  which  had 
been  leveled  absolutely  to  the  ground  by  shell  fire,  and 
passed  an  endless  chain  of  dugouts,  until  we  came  to 
our  destination. 

Most  of  our  cars  were  unloaded  and  drawn  up  on  a 
long,  straight  road  just  outside  of  the  station,  when  our 
batteries  opened  up  on  the  Germans.    They  certainly 


54         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

made  some  noise.  They  had  not  fired  many  rounds 
before  Fritz  began  to  retaliate,  and  then  it  was  our  turn 
to  worry.  His  first  shells  went  wild  over  our  heads, 
but  he  got  the  range  of  the  roads  on  which  our  trucks 
were  packed,  and  very  soon  a  shell  struck  about  half  a 
mile  down  the  road.  The  next  shell  came  closer.  He 
was  getting  our  range  and  coming  straight  up  the  road 
with  his  shrapnel. 

By  this  time  the  remaining  cars  were  unloaded  and 
had  swung  into  line  ready  to  leave.  Just  as  a  big 
shrapnel  burst  about  fifty  yards  away,  our  lieutenant 
gave  orders  to  start,  and  to  start  quickly.  Believe  me, 
brother,  we  did!  The  shells  were  screaming  over  our 
heads,  and  I  was  just  about  scared  to  death.  I  should 
not  have  worried  about  the  screaming  shells,  because 
they  are  harmless  as  a  barking  dog.  It  is  when  they 
stop  screaming  that  you  want  to  get  worried. 

Then  he  describes  briefly  the  horrors  of  the  war  and 
expresses  some  doubt  as  to  man's  status  being  much 
above  that  of  the  beast.     He  says: 

When  you  see  the  fields  laid  waste,  depopulated,  bat- 
tered, and  desolated,  and  people  in  the  last  stages  of 
poverty,  you  doubt  whether  man  is  nearer  to  God  than 
is  the  most  cruel  of  beasts.  It  is  truly  a  war  for  liberty, 
for  liberty  in  politics,  ideals,  and  standards  of  living. 
I  believe  that  any  one  here  who  is  at  all  sensitive  or 
responsive  to  his  environment  feels  as  I  do. 


THE  "FIDDLER'S  TRUCE"  AT  ARRAS 

TWENTY  miles  away  the  Prussians  and  the  Cana- 
dians were  struggling  in  the  dust  and  mud  for  the 
battered  suburbs  of  Lens,  but  the  trenches  which  were 
enjoying  the  "Fiddler's  Truce"  were  not  marked  to  be 
taken  by  the  staff  officers  of  either  army,  and  the  only 
sign  of  war  was  the  growling  of  the  big  guns  far  away. 
Here,  too,  Canadian  opposed  Prussian,  but  they  did  not 
fight  until  the  death  of  Henry  Schulman,  killed  by  a 
most  regrettable  accident.  He  was  only  a  private  and 
not  sufficiently  famous  as  a  violinist  to  have  his  death 
recorded  in  the  musical  journals  of  the  world,  but  along 
the  trenches  his  taking  off  is  still  being  discussed  as 
one  of  the  real  tragedies  of  the  war. 

Late  in  the  fall,  after  the  Somme  offensive  was  over, 
three  Canadian  regiments  arrived  on  the  Arras  front 
and  dug  themselves  into  the  brown  mud  to  wait  until 
spring  made  another  advance  practicable.  Two  hundred 
feet  away  were  three  Prussian  regiments.  There  was 
little  real  fighting.  When  the  routine  of  trench  life 
became  too  monotonous  a  company  would  blaze  away  at 
the  other  trenches  for  a  few  minutes.  At  night  it  was 
so  quiet  that  conversation  in  one  trench  carried  over  to 
the  other,  and  there  was  a  good  deal  of  good-natured 
kidding  back  and  forth.  The  Canadians  were  especially 
pleased  by  the  nightly  concerts  of  the  Germans,  and 
applauded  heartily  the  spirited  fiddling  of  one  hidden 
musician.    The  rest  of  the  story  can  best  be  told  by 

55 


56         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

Corporal  Harry  Seaton,  in  the  New  York  Evening  Mail: 

"One  night  we  held  up  a  piece  of  white  cloth  as  a 
sign  of  truce/'  he  said.  "With  permission  of  our  colonel 
I  called  out  and  asked  the  Boche  if  we  couldn't  have  a 
bit  of  a  concert.  It  was  agreed,  and  Schulman — that 
was  the  fiddler's  name — crawled  out  from  his  trench. 
One  or  two  of  our  Johnnies  crawled  out,  too,  just  as  a 
sign  of  good  faith. 

"Believe  me,  every  one  enjoyed  the  rest  of  that 
evening,  and  when  things  grew  quiet  next  day  some- 
body yelled  for  the  fiddler  to  strike  up  a  tune.  He  was 
a  cobbler  in  Quebec  before  the  war,  and  two  of  our 
Johnnies  knew  him  and  his  wife  and  kids.  It  didn't 
take  much  coaxing  after  that,  and  he  came  out  on  the 
strip  of  'No  Man's  Land'  and  played  every  night. 

"On  the  23d  of  February  we  were  ordered  on  to 
another  part  of  the  field  and  another  regiment  took  our 
old  trenches.  Of  course,  in  the  hurry  of  departure 
nobody  thought  of  Schulman. 

"That  night  he  brought  his  stool  out  as  usual,  but 
before  he  could  draw  bow  across  the  strings  the  strang- 
ers filled  him  full  of  lead.    Of  course,  they  didn't  know. 

"The  chaplain  told  us  the  story  next  day  and  we  took 
up  a  collection  to  send  back  to  the  family  in  Berlin. 
I  wonder  if  they  ever  got  it!" 


HARRY  LAUDER  DOES  HIS  BIT 

'  I  ^HE  Y.  M.C.A.  and  Harry  Lauder  are  two  social 
-*-  forces  that  one  does  not  spontaneously  connect  up. 
But  the  former  was  the  agency  that  brought  the  singer 
into  the  fighting  camps  of  France,  not  only  to  hearten 
the  soldiers  there,  but  to  pay  a  touching  tribute  to  the 
sacrifice  of  his  only  son.  Dr.  George  Adam,  of  Edin- 
burgh, who  went  with  him,  gives  an  account  of  the  trip 
in  Association  Men  (New  York),  the  official  organ  of 
the  Y.  M.C.A.  He  also  speaks  of  service  under  the 
banner  of  the  Red  Triangle  that  Mr.  Lauder  has  ren- 
dered which  brings  the  singing  comedian  before  us  in  a 
manner  hitherto  unsuspected: 

"On  a  recent  Sunday,  although  working  at  full  pres- 
sure during  the  week  in  the  play  'Three  Cheers'  at  the 
Shaftesbury  Theater,  he  gave  up  his  rest  day  gladly  to 
go  away  down  to  two  of  the  great  Canadian  camps 
with  me. 

"Some  one  in  London  asked  the  little  man  why  he 
was  going  down  to  the  camps.  Why  not  join  them  in 
a  quiet  week-end  on  the  river?  Lauder's  reply  was  as 
quaint  as  usual. :  'The  boys  can't  get  up  to  town  to  see 
me,  so  I  am  off  to  the  camps  to  see  them.'  A  right  royal 
time  he  gave  them,  too.  Picture  ten  thousand  men  in 
a  dell  on  the  rolling  downs  with  a  little  platform  in  the 
center  and  there  Lauder  singing  the  old  favorites  you 
have  heard  so  often  and  the  soldiers  love  so  much — 
'Rocked  in  the  Cradle  of  the  Deep,'  'Bantry  Bay,'  'The 

57 


58         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

Laddies  Who  Fought  and  Won/  'Children's  Home/  and 
many  more. 

"This  was  not  all ;  his  sou*  must  have  been  stirred  by 
the  sight  of  so  many  dear,  brave  men,  for  when  the 
meeting  seemed  over,  Lauder  began  to  speak  to  the  sol- 
diers. And  a  real  speech  he  made,  full  of  imagery, 
poetry,  and  fire.  May  I  just  tell  you  how  he  closed? 
'One  evening  in  the  gloaming  in  a  northern  town  I  was 
sitting  by  my  parlor  window  when  I  saw  an  old  man 
with  a  pole  on  his  shoulder  come  along.  He  was  a 
lamp-lighter,  and  made  the  lamp  opposite  my  window 
dance  into  brightness.  Interested  in  his  work,  I  watched 
him  pass  along  until  the  gloaming  gathered  round  and  I 
could  see  him  no  more.  However,  I  knew  just  where 
he  was,  for  other  lamps  flashed  into  flame.  Having 
completed  his  task,  he  disappeared  into  a  side  street. 
Those  lamps  burned  on  through  the  night,  making  it 
bright  and  safe  for  those  who  should  come  behind  him. 
An  avenue  of  lights  through  the  traffic  and  dangers  of 
the  city.' 

"With  passionate  earnestness  Lauder  cried:  'Boys, 
think  of  that  man  who  lit  the  lamp,  for  you  are  his 
successors,  only  in  a  much  nobler  and  grander  way.  You 
are  not  lighting  for  a  few  hours  the  darkness  of  passing 
night.  You  are  lighting  an  avenue  of  lights  that  will 
make  it  safe  for  the  generations  of  all  time.  Therefore, 
you  must  be  earnest  to  do  the  right.  Fight  well  and 
hard  against  every  enemy  without  and  within,  and  those 
of  your  blood  who  come  after  you  will  look  up  proudly 
in  that  light  of  freedom  and  say,  "The  sire  that  went 
before  me  lit  a  lamp  in  those  heroic  days  when  Britain 
warred  for  right."     The  first  burst  of  illumination  that 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         59 

the  world  had  was  in  the  lamp  lit  by  Jesus,  or  rather 
he  was  the  Light  himself.  He  said  truly,  "I  am  the  Light 
of  the  world."  You  are  in  his  succession.  Be  careful 
how  you  bear  yourselves.  Quit  ye  like  men!  Be 
strong!'  " 

The  story  of  the  effort  made  to  induce  the  singing 
comedian  to  go  "out  there"  touches  on  his  well-known 
human  frailty,  in  this  case  triumphantly  overcome : 

"During  a  visit  to  France,  and  in  conversation  with 
one  in  high  command  in  the  army,  talk  turned  to  the 
high  place  Lauder  had  in  the  affections  of  his  country- 
men, for  we  were  both  Scots.  A  strong  desire  was 
expressed  that  he  should  be  got  out  among  the  soldiers 
in  the  battle  line  just  to  give  them  the  cheer  he  knows 
so  well  how  to  impart.  I  promised  to  endeavor  to 
arrange  it,  with  trepidation,  you  may  be  sure,  for  you 
know  what  is  so  often  said  of  Lauder  and  his  money. 
However,  with  courage  in  both  hands  I  asked  him  to 
give  up  the  week  that  meant  many  thousands  of  dollars 
to  go  out  to  the  boys. 

"The  request  seemed  to  stagger  him,  and  for  a  minute 
I  felt  I  was  to  fail,  but  it  was  the  good  fortune  to  receive 
such  a  request  that  took  his  breath  away.  'Give  me  a 
week's  notice  and  I  go  with  you,  and  glad  to  go.'  I 
replied,  'I  give  you  notice  now.'  Whereupon  he  called 
to  his  manager,  'Tom,  I  quit  in  a  week';  and  he  did, 
and  off  to  the  war  zone  he  went.  My  pen  is  unequal 
to  the  task  of  describing  that  wonderful  tour  and  the 
amazing  results  of  it.  The  men  went  wild  with  enthu- 
siasm and  joy  wherever  he  went.  One  great  meeting 
was  apparently  seen  by  some  German  airmen,  who 
communicated  the  information  to  one  of  their  batteries 


60         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

of  artillery.  In  the  middle  of  a  song — whiz/ bang! — 
went  a  big  shell  very  close  at  hand — so  close,  in  fact, 
that  pieces  struck  but  a  foot  or  two  from  where  we  both 
stood.  There  was  a  scatter  and  a  scamper  for  cover, 
and  for  three-quarters  of  an  hour  the  Huns  hammered 
the  position  with  two  hundred  big  ones.  When  the 
bombardment  ended,  Lauder  of  the  big-hearted  Scotch 
courage  must  needs  finish  his  concert/' 

Another  incident  shows  the  heart  of  Harry  Lauder 
as  those  who  have  only  heard  his  rollicking  songs  will 
rejoice  in. 

"One  day  during  our  visit  I  was  taking  Harry  to  see 
the  grave  of  his  only  child,  Capt.  John  Lauder,  of  the 
Argyle  and  Sutherland  Highlanders,  as  fine  a  lad  as 
ever  wore  a  kilt,  and  as  good  and  brave  a  son  as  ever 
a  father  loved.  As  we  were  motoring  swiftly  along  we 
turned  into  the  town  of  Albert  and  the  first  sharp  glance 
at  the  cathedral  showed  the  falling  Madonna  and  Child. 
It  was  a  startling  and  arresting  sight,  and  we  got  out 
to  have  a  good  look.  The  building  is  crowned  by  a  statue 
of  Mary  holding  out  the  child  Jesus  to  the  world;  a 
German  shell  had  struck  its  base  and  it  fell  over,  not 
to  the  ground,  however,  but  at  an  acute  angle  out  over 
the  street. 

"While  we  lingered,  a  bunch  of  soldiers  came  march- 
ing through,  dusty  and  tired.  Lauder  asked  the  officer 
to  halt  his  men  for  a  rest  and  he  would  sing  to  them. 
I  could  see  that  they  were  loath  to  believe  it  was  the 
real  Lauder  until  he  began  to  sing. 

"Then  the  doubts  vanished  and  they  abandoned  them- 
selves to  the  full  enjoyment  of  this  very  unexpected 
pleasure.   When  the  singsong  began  the  audience  would 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         61 

number  about  two  hundred;  at  the  finish  of  it  easily 
more  than  two  thousand  soldiers  cheered  him  on  his 
way. 

"It  was  a  strange  send-off  on  the  way  that  led  to  a 
grave — the  grave  of  a  father's  fondest  hopes — but  so 
it  was.  A  little  way  up  the  Bapaume  road  the  car 
stopped  and  we  clambered  the  embankment  and  away 
over  the  shell-torn  field  of  Courcelette.  Here  and  there 
we  passed  a  little  cross  which  marked  the  grave  of  some 
unknown  hero;  all  that  was  written  was  'A  British 
Soldier.'  He  spoke  in  a  low  voice  of  the  hope-hungry 
hearts  behind  all  those  at  home.  Now  we  climbed  a 
little  ridge  and  here  a  cemetery  and  in  the  first  row 
facing  the  battlefield  the  cross  on  Lauder's  boy's  resting- 
place. 

"The  father  leaned  over  the  grave  to  read  what  was 
written  there.  He  knelt  down ;  indeed,  he  lay  upon  the 
grave  and  clutched  it,  the  while  his  body  shook  with 
the  grief  he  felt. 

"When  the  storm  had  spent  itself  he  rose  and  prayed: 
'O  God,  that  I  could  have  but  one  request.  It  would 
be  that  I  might  embrace  my  laddie  just  this  once  and 
thank  him  for  what  he  has  done  for  his  country  and 
humanity.' 

"That  was  all,  not  a  word  of  bitterness  or  complaint. 

"On  the  way  down  the  hill  I  suggested  gently  that 
the  stress  of  such  an  hour  made  further  song  that  day 
impossible. 

"But  Lauder's  heart  is  big  and  British.  Turning  to 
me  with  a  flash  in  his  eye  he  said:  'George,  I  must  be 
brave;  my  boy  is  watching  and  all  the  other  boys  are 
waiting.     I  will  sing  to  them  this  afternoon  though  my 


.-TORIES   FROM   THE   TRENCH. 

heart  break !'     Off  we  went  again  to  another  division  of 
S     :tish  troops. 

within  the  hour,  he  sang  again  the  sweet  old 
songs  of  love  and  home  and  country,  bringing  all  very 

and  helping  the  men  to  realize  the  deeper 
victory  for  the  enemy  would  mean.     Grim  and  deter- 
mined men  th  .hat  went  back  to  their  dugouts 
and  trenches,  heartened  for  the  task  of  war  I 

m  by  Harry  Lauder.     Harry's  little  kilted  figure 
came  and  went   from  the  war  zone,  but  his  influence 
ne  influence  of  a  heroic  heart" 


CAUSE  FOR  GRIEVANCE 

A    wounded    soldier   explained   his   grievance   to   his 
■ 

:  see,  old  Smith  was  next  to  me  in  the  trenches, 
the  bullet  that  took  me  in  the  shoulder  and  laid 
me  out  went  into  'im  and  made  a  bit  of  a  flesh-wound  in 
his  arm.  Of  course  I'm  glad  he  wasn't  'urt  bad.  But 
rack  to  my  bullet  and  given  it  his  girL  Now.  I 
don't  think  that's  fair.  I'd  a  right  to  it.  I'd  never 
give  a  girl  'o  mine  a  second-'and  bullet.*' 


DOUBLY  ANNOYING 

A  German  spy  caught  redhanded  was  on  his  w 
be  ribot. 

"I  think  you  English  are  brutes."  he  growled 
march  me  through  this  rain  and  slu 

-1,"  said  the  "Tommy"  who  was  escorting  him, 
"what  about  me?     I  have  to  go  back  in  it" 


KING  GEORGE  UNDER  FIRE 

XT'  ING  GEORGE  and  Queen  Mary  have  been  seeing 
-*•*-  war  at  close  range.  Together  they  made  an  eleven 
days'  visit  to  the  British  troops  in  France,  and  while 
there  the  King  experienced  the  sensation  of  being  under 
fire.  While  the  Queen  devoted  herself  to  the  hospitals 
and  the  sick  and  wounded,  the  King  was  shown  all  the 
latest  devices  for  killing  and  maiming  the  enemy.  It 
was  soon  after  seeing  what  would  happen  to  the  Teutons 
that  he  decided  to  drop  his  Teutonic  name  and  become 
Mr.  Windsor.  Says  a  dispatch  from  the  British  head- 
quarters in  the  New  York  Sun: 

On  the  first  morning  after  his  arrival  in  France,  King 
George  visited  the  Messines  Ridge  sector  of  the  front, 
climbing  the  ridge  while  the  Germans  were  shelling  the 
woods  just  to  his  left.  He  inspected  the  ground  over 
which  the  Irish  troops,  men  from  the  north  and  the 
south,  fought  so  gallantly  side  by  side  during  the  taking 
of  the  Messines  Ridge,  and  where  Major  William  Red- 
mond fell.  While  the  King  was  doing  this  the  Germans 
began  shelling  places  on  the  ridge  which  he  had  left  but 
half  an  hour  before.  The  King  visited  also  Vimy  Ridge, 
from  which  he  could  see  the  German  lines  about  Lens, 
with  British  shells  breaking  on  them. 

For  the  benefit  of  the  King  a  special  show  was  staged 
that  he  might  witness  "that  black  art  of  frightfulness 
which  has  steadily  increased  the  horrors  of  war  since 
the  day  when  the  enemy  let  loose  clouds  of  poisoned  gas 

63 


64         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

upon  the  soldiers  and  civilians  in  Ypres,"  says  Philip 
Gibbs  in  the  Philadelphia  Public  Ledger: 

As  soon  as  the  King  arrived  on  the  field  there  was  a 
sound  of  rushing  air,  and  there  shot  forth  a  blast  of 
red  flame  out  of  black  smoke  to  a  great  distance  and 
with  a  most  terrifying  effect.  It  came  from  an  improved 
variety  of  flame  projector.  Then  the  King  saw  the  pro- 
j  ection  of  burning  oil,  burst  out  in  great  waves  of  liquid 
fire.  A  battalion  of  men  would  be  charred  like  burned 
sticks  if  this  touched  them  for  a  second.  There  was 
another  hissing  noise,  and  there  rolled  very  sluggishly 
over  the  field  a  thick,  oily  vapor,  almost  invisible  as  it 
mixed  with  the  air,  and  carrying  instant  death  to  any 
man  who  should  take  a  gulp  of  it.  To  such  a  thing  have 
all  of  us  come  in  this  war  for  civilization. 

The  most  spectacular  show  here  was  the  most  harm- 
less to  human  life,  being  a  new  form  of  smoke  barrage 
to  conceal  the  movement  of  troops  on  the  battlefield. 

From  this  laboratory  of  the  black  art  the  King  went 
to  one  of  those  fields  where  the  machinery  of  war  is 
beautiful,  rising  above  the  ugly  things  of  this  poor  earth 
with  light  and  grace,  for  this  was  an  air-drome.  As  he 
came  up,  three  fighting  planes  of  the  fastest  British 
type  went  up  in  chase  of  an  imaginary  enemy.  They 
arose  at  an  amazing  speed  and  shot  across  the  sky-line 
like  shadows  racing  from  the  sun.  When  they  came  back 
those  three  boys  up  there  seemed  to  go  a  little  mad  and 
played  tricks  in  the  air  with  a  kind  of  joyous  careless- 
ness of  death.  They  tumbled  over  and  over,  came 
hurtling  down  in  visible  corkscrews,  looped  the  loop 
very  close  to  the  earth,  flattened  out  after  headlong 
dives,  and  rose  again  like  swallows.    The   King  was 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         65 

interested  in  the  ages  of  these  pilots  and  laughed  when 
they  confessed  their  youth,  for  one  was  nineteen  and 
another  twenty. 

The  antics  of  the  "tanks"  furnished  the  King  with 
a  great  deal  of  amusement.  Leaving  the  air-drome,  he 
was  driven  to  a  sunken  field,  very  smooth  and  long, 
between  two  high  wooded  banks.    Says  Mr.  Gibbs : 

Here  there  was  a  great  surprise  and  a  great  sensation, 
for  just  as  the  King  stepped  out  of  his  car  a  young  tree 
in  full  foliage  on  the  left  of  the  field  up  a  high  bank 
toppled  forward  slowly  and  then  fell  with  a  crash  into 
the  undergrowth.  Something  was  moving  in  the  under- 
growth, something  monstrous.  It  came  heaving  and 
tearing  its  way  through  the  bushes,  snapping  off  low 
branches  and  smashing  young  saplings  like  an  elephant 
on  stampede.  Then  it  came  into  sight  on  top  of  the  bank, 
a  big  gray  beast,  with  a  blunt  snout,  nosing  its  way 
forward  and  all  tangled  in  green  leaves  and  twigs.  It 
was  old  brother  tank  doing  his  stunt  before  the  King. 

From  the  far  end  of  a  long,  smooth  field  came  two 
other  twin  beasts  of  this  ilk,  crawling  forward  in  a 
hurry  as  though  hungry  for  human  blood.  In  front  of 
their  track,  at  the  other  end  of  the  field,  were  two  breast- 
works built  of  sand-bags  covering  some  timbered  dug- 
outs and  protected  from  sudden  attack  by  two  belts  of 
barbed  wire.  The  two  tanks  came  along  like  hippo- 
potamuses on  a  spree,  one  of  them  waiting  for  the  other 
when  he  lagged  a  little  behind.  They  hesitated  for  a 
moment  before  the  breastworks  as  if  disliking  the  effort 
of  climbing  them,  then  heaved  themselves  up,  thrust  out 
their  snouts,  got  their  hind  quarters  on  the  move,  and 
waddled  to  the  top.     Under  their  vast  weight  the  sand- 


66         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

bags  flattened  out,  the  timber  beneath  slipped  and 
cracked,  and  the  whole  structure  began  to  collapse,  and 
the  twins  plunged  down  on  the  other  side  and  advanced 
to  attack  the  barbed  wire. 

Another  tank  now  came  into  action  from  the  far  end 
of  the  field,  bearing  the  legend  on  its  breast  of  "Faugh-a- 
ballagh"  which,  I  am  told,  is  Irish  for  "get  out  of  the 
way."  It  was  the  Derby  winner  of  the  tanks'  fleet. 
From  its  steel  flanks  guns  waggled  to  and  fro,  and  no 
dragon  of  old  renown  looked  half  so  menacing  as  this. 
St.  George  would  have  had  no  chance  against  it.  But 
King  George,  whose  servant  it  was,  was  not  afraid,  and 
with  the  Prince  of  Wales  he  went  through  the  steel  trap- 
door into  the  body  of  the  beast.  For  some  time  we  lost 
sight  of  the  King  and  Prince,  but  after  a  while  they 
came  out  laughing,  having  traveled  around  the  field  for 
ten  minutes  in  the  queerest  car  on  earth. 

The  great  thrill  of  the  day  came  later.  Through  the 
woods  of  a  high  bank  on  the  left  came  a  tank,  looking 
rather  worse  for  wear,  as  though  battered  in  battle. 

It  came  forward  through  the  undergrowth  and  made 
for  the  edge  of  the  bank,  where  there  was  a  machine 
gun  emplacement  in  a  bomb-proof  shelter,  whose  steep 
bank  was  almost  perpendicular.  It  seemed  impossible 
that  any  old  tank  should  entertain  a  notion  of  taking 
that  j  ump,  but  this  tank  came  steadily  on  until  its  snout 
was  well  over  the  bank  and  steadily  on  again  with  that 
extraordinary  method  of  progression  in  which  the  whole 
body  of  the  beast  moves  from  the  nose  end  upward  until 
it  seems  to  have  a  giraffe's  neck  and  very  little  else. 
That  very  little  else  was  sitting  on  the  top  of  the 
emplacement  while  the  forward  part  of  the  tank  was 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         67 

poised  in  space  regarding  the  setting  sun.  However, 
without  any  hesitation,  the  whole  mass  moved  on,  lurched 
out,  and  nose-dived. 

Good  Lord !  it  was  then  that  the  thrill  came.  The 
tank  plunged  down  like  a  chunk  of  cliff  as  it  fell,  went 
sideways  and  lost  its  balance,  and,  as  near  as  anything 
could  be,  almost  turned  turtle.  It  righted  itself  with 
a  great  jerk  at  the  nick  of  time  just  before  it  took  the 
earth  below  and  shaved  by  a  hair's  breadth  an  ammu- 
nition dump  at  the  bottom  of  the  drop. 

It  was  the  finest  tank  trick  I  ever  saw,  and  it  was 
greeted  with  laughter  and  cheers.  The  King,  however, 
and  other  spectators  were  rather  worried  about  the  lads 
inside.  They  must  have  taken  a  mighty  toss.  No  sound 
came  from  the  inside  of  the  tank,  and  for  a  moment 
some  of  us  had  a  vision  of  a  number  of  plucky  fellows 
laid  out  unconscious  within  those  steel  walls.  The  door 
opened  and  we  could  see  their  feet  standing  straight, 
which  was  a  relief. 

"Let  them  all  come  out,"  said  the  King,  laughing 
heartily.  And  out  they  all  tumbled,  a  row  of  young 
fellows  as  merry  and  bright  as  air  pilots  after  a  good 
landing. 


THE  FEMALE  STANDARD  OF  SIZE 

Lady  (entering  bank,  very  businesslike) — "I  wish  to 
get  a  Liberty  Loan  bond  for  my  husband." 

Clerk — "What  size,  please  ?" 

Lady — "Why,  I  don't  believe  I  know,  exactly,  but 
he  wears  a  fifteen  shirt." 


STORY  OF  OUR  FIRST  SHOT 

I  PICKED  that  shell  right  up  as  it  came  out  of 
the  gun — I  saw  it  go  through  the  air  in  its  flight, 
and  I  saw  it  strike  a  foot  in  front  of  that  periscope!" 

That  is  the  way  Lieut.  Bruce  R.  Ware,  Jr.,  U.S.  N., 
who  commanded  the  gun  crew  of  the  steamship  Mon- 
golia, told  of  the  first  American  shot  fired  in  the  war 
at  a  German  submarine.  He  related  the  story  at  a 
testimonial  dinner  given  to  him  and  to  Capt.  Emery 
Rice,  of  the  Mongolia,  upon  the  arrival  of  the  steamship 
at  New  York.  The  dinner  was  attended  by  many  per- 
sons prominent  in  business,  steamship,  and  naval  circles, 
some  having  traveled  hundreds  of  miles  to  be  present. 
As  reported  by  the  New  York  Times,  Lieutenant  Ware 
told  the  story  as  follows: 

At  5:21  the  chief  officer  walked  out  on  the  port 
bridge.  The  captain  and  myself  were  on  our  heels 
looking  out  through  the  port.  I  saw  the  chief  officer 
turn  around,  and  you  could  have  seen  the  whole  ocean 
written  in  his  face,  and  his  mouth  that  wide  (indicating), 
and  he  could  not  get  it  out.  He  finally  said :  "My  God, 
look  at  that  submarine !" 

The  captain  gripped  my  arm  and  said:  "What  is 
that?"  I  said:  "It  is  a  submarine,  and  he  has  got 
up." 

I  followed  the  captain  out  on  the  bridge  and  I  looked 
at  my  gun  crews.  They  were  all  agape.  The  lookout 
was  all  agape.  I  threw  in  my  starboard  control  and  I 
68 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         69 

said:  "Captain,  zigzag."  I  did  not  tell  him  which  way 
to  go.  We  had  that  all  doped  out.  The  captain  star- 
boarded his  helm  and  the  ship  turned  to  port  and  we 
charged  him  (the  U-boat)  and  made  him  go  under.  I 
went  up  on  top  of  the  chart  house  with  my  phones  on, 
and  I  had  a  long,  powerful  glass,  ten  power.  Right 
underneath  it  I  always  lashed  my  transmitter,  so  that 
where  I  was  my  transmitter  went,  and  I  didn't  have  to 
worry  or  hunt  for  it.  It  was  always  plugged  in,  and  I 
said: 

"No.  3  gun,  after  gun,  train  on  the  starboard  quarter, 
and  when  you  see  a  submarine  and  periscope  or  conning 
tower,  report." 

The  gun  crew  reported  control.  "We  see  it — no,  no — 
it  has  gone.  There  it  is  again."  I  picked  it  up  at  that 
moment  with  my  high-powered  glass,  and  I  gave  them 
the  range — 1,000  yards.  Scale  50.  She  was  about  800 
yards  away  from  us.  I  gave  the  order,  "No.  3  gun,  fire, 
commence  firing." 

I  had  my  glasses  on  them,  gentlemen,  and  I  saw  that 
periscope  come  up.  "No.  3  gun,  commence  firing,  fire, 
fire,  fire."  And  they  did,  and  I  picked  that  shell  right 
up  as  it  came  out  of  the  gun — a  black,  six-inch  explosive 
shell.  I  saw  it  go  through  the  air  in  its  flight,  and  I 
saw  it  strike  the  water  eight  inches — a  foot — in  front 
of  that  periscope  and  it  went  into  the  conning  tower. 
I  saw  that  periscope  go  end  over  end,  whipping  through 
that  water,  and  I  saw  plates  go  off  his  conning  tower, 
and  I  saw  smoke  all  over  the  scene  where  we  had  hit 
the  enemy. 

When  Captain  Rice  was  called  upon  for  a  speech  he 
said: 


70         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

"Gentlemen,  I'd  much  rather  take  the  Mongolia 
through  the  war  zone  than  make  a  speech.  All  I  will 
say  is  that  I  am  ready  to  go  again,  and  I  hope  I  have 
another  chance  at  a  £7-boat." 


HE  KNEW  WHAT  TO  DO 

A  short  time  back,  while  a  certain  general  was  in- 
specting a  regiment  just  about  to  depart  for  new  quar- 
ters, he  asked  a  young  subaltern  what  would  be  his  next 
order  if  he  was  in  command  of  a  regiment  passing  over  a 
plain  in  a  hostile  country,  and  he  found  his  front 
blocked  by  artillery,  a  brigade  of  cavalry  on  his  right 
flank,  and  a  morass  on  his  left,  while  his  retreat  was  cut 
off  by  a  large  body  of  infantry. 

"Halt!  Order  arms,  ground  arms,  kneel  down,  say 
your  prayers !"  replied  the  subaltern. 


THAT  WAS  THE  HYMN  NUMBER 

Here  is  a  story  which  if  it  is  not  true  ought  to  be. 
The  soldier  in  the  train  was  dilating  on  his  changed 
life. 

"They  took  me  from  my  home,"  he  said,  "and  put 
me  in  barracks ;  they  took  away  my  clothes  and  put  me 
in  khaki;  they  took  away  my  name  and  made  me  'No. 
675';  they  took  me  to  church,  where  I'd  never  been 
before,  and  they  made  me  listen  to  a  sermon  for  forty 
minutes.  Then  the  parson  said,  'No.  575,  Art  thou 
weary,  art  thou  languid?'  And  I  got  seven  days'  C.B. 
for  giving  him  a  civil  answer." 


STORIES  FROM  THE  FRONT 

T  NTIMATE  stories  of  life  in  the  trenches  "some- 
■*■  where  in  France"  are  told  in  two  letters  that  describe 
in  man-to-man  fashion  incidents  that  present  an  unusual 
picture  of  the  battle  front,  full  of  color  as  well  as  of 
darkening  shadows.  The  letters  were  written  by  Mr. 
Stevenson  P.  Lewis,  serving  with  the  American  Ambu- 
lance Corps,  to  his  cousin,  Mr.  W.  O.  Curtiss,  of  Toledo, 
Ohio.  They  are  dated  May  21  and  26,  and  extracts  are 
printed  in  the  Toledo  Blade.  Mr.  Lewis  has  no  com- 
plaint to  make  of  the  food.  He  finds  the  horse  meat 
"a  little  tough,"  but  seemingly  palatable.    He  writes: 

We  get  good  food,  but  miss  the  extra  dishes.  We  get 
the  famous  army  bread,  rather  sour  taste,  but  am  used 
to  it  now — no  butter,  of  course;  oatmeal  without  milk 
or  sugar,  horse  meat,  potatoes,  and  various  flavors  of 
jam.  The  horse  meat  is  usually  a  little  tough,  but  other- 
wise pretty  good.  Have  biscuits  and  chocolate  at  the 
canteen.  A  couple  of  pieces  of  hardtack,  with  water 
and  chocolate,  do  for  a  dinner  very  well  when  away 
from  camp. 

We  have  considerable  time  just  now,  with  nothing  to 
fill  in,  and  I  can't  quite  go  it,  so  I  hike  out  for  walks 
and  have  picked  up  quite  a  few  good  pictures  and 
souvenirs.  Picked  up  an  eagle  with  spread  wings — 
German  silver,  a  decoration  worn  on  a  German  officer's 
helmet,  inscribed  "Mitt  Gott  fur  Konig  und  Vaterland." 
It  is  rather  a  rare  find,  as  the  old  spiked  helmet  is  not 
worn  any  more. 

71 


72         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

Sunday  we  had  a  visit  from  Germany  in  the  shape  of 
an  airplane  which  dropped  five  bombs  in  the  next  village. 
Two  French  machines  gave  chase  and  brought  him  down, 
but  he  caused  considerable  excitement  until  he  reached 
the  ground.  They  always  come  over  at  a  high  altitude 
and  do  not  seem  in  any  hurry  to  leave,  regardless  of 
the  shrapnel  shots  placed  around  the  planes.  This  one, 
the  second  we  have  seen  come  down,  made  two  complete 
turns  and  then  dived  straight  down. 

We  have  had  some  trouble  with  some  of  the  men  in 
charge,  due  to  the  wandering  of  one  of  our  men  into  the 
first  line  trenches.  The  man  guilty  has  acted  ever  since 
he  arrived  as  though  missing  in  essential  brain  cells,  but 
this  time  he  crowned  his  former  efforts — walked  up  a 
valley  with  Boche  trenches  on  one  side,  French  on  the 
other,  he  down  the  middle  in  No  Man's  Land.  Lucky 
he  came  back  at  all.  The  French  called  him  over  to  their 
trenches,  otherwise  I  suppose  he  would  be  walking  into 
Berlin  by  this  time. 

We  are  working  with  an  English  ambulance  section, 
taking  turns  making  runs  to  field  stations,  where  the 
wounded  are  sent  direct  from  trenches.  We  carry  them 
from  these  first-aid  posts  back  to  another  post,  and  the 
English  section,  with  its  large  cars,  carry  them  ten  or 
fifteen  miles  farther  back.  Then  the  order  is  reversed. 
The  English  are  a  mighty  interesting  lot,  and  most  of 
them  have  been  in  service  since  1914,  hence  have  seen 
action  all  along  this  front.  The  hardest  driving  is  at 
night  running  up  to  the  posts  just  back  of  the  lines,  for 
all  the  moving  is  done  then.  The  road  is  crowded  with 
ammunition  trucks,  supplies,  guns,  and  troops,  and  with 
no  lights  it  is  uncertain  what  is  coming  or  going.    Several 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         73 

men  have  ditched  their  cars  and  run  by  the  station,  but 
no  serious  accidents  have  occurred.  Star  shells  sent  up 
at  intervals  give  a  blinding  light  and  the  whole  country- 
side is  as  light  as  day  for  a  short  time,  then  suddenly 
dark.  It  is  this  quick  change  that  makes  it  hard  to 
adjust  our  vision. 

This   English  section  has   been  through  the  hottest 
fighting  on  this  front,  having  been  posted  at  Verdun  last 
year  and  running  to  the  most  advanced  posts,  but  never 
lost  a  man  and  had  only  a  few  slight  accidents.    A  per- 
son would  think  they  were  playing  a  safe  game,  but 
not  so,  after  hearing  of  some  bombardments  they  ran 
through.    One  man  in  the  British  ambulance  corps  has 
the  Victoria  Cross,  the  hardest  war  medal  of  any  to  get. 
He  drove  his  car  up  the  lines  in  plain  sight  of  the 
Germans.     One  of  the  stretcher  bearers  having  been 
killed,  he  rushed  out  on  to  No  Man's  Land  with  another 
man  and  rescued  several  men,  put  them  into  his  car,  and 
drove  off,  all  the  time  being  the  object  of  German  fire. 
The  English  are  world-beaters  in  the  flying  game,  as 
I  suppose  you  have  heard.    The  minute  a  Boche  plane 
appears  over  their  lines,  a  couple  of  fast  monoplanes 
are  after  it  and  usually  bring  it  down.     Heard  of  one 
air  battle  between  five  English  machines  and  ten  Ger- 
mans; five  of  the  German  machines  were  brought  down 
and   the   remaining  five   headed    for   Berlin   with   two 
English  planes  after  them.     The  English  did  not  lose 
a  machine.    Again  there  were  three  German  "sausages" 
(observation  balloons),  and  three  English  aviators,  each 
m  a  machine,  were  detailed  to  bring  them  down,  each 
aviator  to  take  a  balloon.   Two  of  the  Englishmen  each 
got  their  balloon,  but  the  Germans,  seeing  what  had 


74         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

happened,  lowered  the  third  balloon.  However,  the 
Englishman  ordered  to  get  it,  being  ruffled  a  bit  because 
he  did  not  get  a  chance  to  get  his  "bag"  as  the  other 
two  did,  dived  down  over  the  balloon  resting  in  German 
territory,  setting  it  afire  and  killing  a  number  of  Ger- 
mans. He  was  wounded  badly,  but  succeeded  in  bring' 
ing  his  machine  back.  He  was  awarded  the  Victoria 
Cross.  Many  other  war  medals  are  given,  but  a  man 
who  gets  the  Victoria  Cross  really  has  done  a  feat  of 
individual  bravery. 


FUNNY  THEY  HADN'T  MET 

Pretty  Lady  Visitor  (at  private  hospital) — "Can  I 
see  Lieutenant  Barker,  please?" 

Matron — "We  do  not  allow  ordinary  visiting.  May  I 
ask  if  you're  a  relative?" 

Visitor  (boldly) — "Oh,  yes !     I'm  his  sister." 

Matron — "Dear  me !  I'm  very  glad  to  meet  you.  I'm 
his  mother." 


NO  END  TO  THE  GAME 

Two  American  lads  were  discussing  the  war. 

"It'll  be  an  awful  long  job,  Sam,"  said  one. 

"It  will,"  replied  the  other. 

"You  see,  these  Germans  is  takin'  thousands  and 
thousands  of  Russian  prisoners,  and  the  Russians  is 
takin'  thousands  and  thousands  of  German  prisoners. 
If  it  keeps  on,  all  the  Russians  will  be  in  Germany  and 
all  the  Germans  in  Russia.  And  then  they'll  start  all 
over  again,  fightin'  to  get  back  their  'omes." 


UNCLE  SAM,  DETECTIVE 

THE  detective  work  accomplished  by  the  United 
States  Government  since  its  entry  into  the  war  has 
been  worthy  of  a  Sherlock  Holmes,  and  yet  few  persons, 
reading  only  the  results  of  this  remarkably  developed 
system,  have  realized  that  a  Government  heretofore 
finding  it  unnecessary  to  match  wits  with  foreign  spy 
bureaus  has  suddenly  taken  a  high  rank  in  this  unpleas- 
ant but  absolutely  essential  branch  of  war-making — as 
it  has  in  all  others.  The  public  read  of  the  intercepted 
dispatches  from  the  Argentine  to  Germany  by  way  of 
Sweden,  and  of  the  Bernstorff  messages,  but  without  a 
realization  of  the  problem  that  a  cipher  dispatch  pre- 
sents to  one  who  has  not  the  key.  And  probably  the 
average  reader  is  unaware  that,  in  both  the  army  and 
navy,  experts  have  been  trained  to  decipher  code  mes- 
sages, with  the  result  that  both  the  making  and  the 
reading  of  such  dispatches  have  been  reduced  to  an 
almost  mathematical  science.  The  Philadelphia  Press, 
in  outlining  the  instruction  given  in  this  important  work 
at  the  Army  Service  schools,  says : 

What  is  taught  the  military  will  furnish  an  idea  of 
the  task  of  the  code  experts  in  the  State  Department, 
and  of  the  basis  of  the  science  that  has  unmasked  the 
German  plans  with  respect  to  vessels  to  be  spurlos 
versenkt  and  of  legislators  to  be  influenced  through  the 
power  of  German  gold. 

"It  may  as  well  be  stated,"  says  Capt.  Parker  Hitt — 
75 


76         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

that  is,  he  was  a  captain  of  infantry  when  he  said  it 
— "that  no  practicable  military  cipher  is  mathematically 
indecipherable  if  intercepted;  the  most  that  can  be 
expected  is  to  delay  for  a  longer  or  shorter  time  the 
deciphering  of  the  message  by  the  interceptor." 

The  young  officer  is  warned  that  one  doesn't  have  to 
rely  in  these  times  upon  capturing  messengers  as  they 
speed  by  horse  from  post  to  post.  All  radio  messages 
may  be  picked  up  by  every  operator  within  the  zone, 
and  the  interesting  information  is  given  that  if  one  can 
run  a  fine  wire  within  one  hundred  feet  of  a  buzzer  line 
or  within  thirty  feet  of  a  telegraph  line,  whatever  tidings 
may  be  going  over  these  mediums  may  be  copied  by 
induction. 

In  order  that  the  student  may  not  lose  heart,  it  is 
pointed  out  in  the  beginning  that  many  European  powers 
use  ciphers  that  vary  from  extreme  simplicity  to  "a 
complexity  which  is  more  apparent  than  real."  And  as 
to  amateurs,  who  make  up  ciphers  for  some  special  pur- 
pose, it's  dollars  to  doughnuts  that  their  messages  will 
be  read  just  as  easily  as  though  they  had  printed  them 
in  box-car  letters. 

At  every  headquarters  of  an  army  the  intelligence 
department  of  the  General  Staff  stands  ready  to  play 
checkers  with  any  formidable  looking  document  that 
comes  along  in  cipher,  and  there  is  mighty  little  matter 
in  code  that  stands  a  ghost  of  a  chance  of  getting  by. 

The  scientific  dissection  of  ciphers  starts  with  the 
examination  of  the  general  system  of  language  com- 
munication, which,  with  everybody  excepting  friend 
Chinaman,  is  an  alphabet  composed  of  letters  that 
appear  in  conventional  order. 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         77 

It  was  early  found  by  the  keen-eyed  gentlemen  who 
analyzed  ciphers  that  if  one  took  ten  thousand  words 
of  any  language  and  counted  the  letters  in  them  the 
number  of  times  that  any  one  letter  would  recur 
would  be  found  practically  identical  with  their  recur- 
rence in  any  other  ten  thousand  words.  From  this 
discovery  the  experts  made  frequency  tables,  which 
show  just  how  many  times  one  may  expect  to  find  a 
letter  e  or  any  other  letter  in  a  given  number  of  words 
or  letters.  These  tables  were  made  for  ten  thousand 
letters  and  for  two  hundred  letters,  so  that  one  might 
get  an  idea  how  often  to  expect  to  find  given  letters  in 
both  long  and  short  messages  or  documents. 

Thus  we  find  the  following  result: 

"Letters 

10000  200 

A 778  16  N 

B 141  3  O 

C 296  6  P 

D 402  8  Q 

E 1277  26  R 

F 197  4  S 

G 174  3  T 

H 595  12  U 

I 667  13  V 

J 51  1  W 

K ..  74  2  X 

L 372  7  Y 

M 288  6  Z 

It  is  found  that  in  any  text  the  vowels  A  E  I  O  U 
represent   38.37    per   cent;    that  the   consonants    L   X 


Letters 

10000 

200 

686 

14 

807 

16 

223 

4 

8 

651 

13 

622 

12 

855 

17 

308 

6 

112 

2 

176 

3 

27 

196 

4 

17 

78         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

R  S  T  represent  31.86  per  cent,  and  that  the  con- 
sonants JKQXZ  stand  for  only  1.77  per  cent.  One 
doesn't  want  to  shy  away  from  these  figures  as  being 
dry  and  dull,  because  they  form  part  of  a  story  as 
interesting  as  any  detective  narrative  that  was  ever 
penned  by  a  Conan  Doyle. 

For  the  usual  purposes  of  figuring  a  cipher  the  first 
group  is  given  the  value  of  40  per  cent,  the  second  group 
30  per  cent,  and  the  last  2  per  cent.  And  then  one  is 
introduced  to  the  order  of  frequency  in  which  letters 
appear  in  ordinary  text.     It  is : 

ETOANIRSHDLUCMPFYWGB 
V  K  J  X  Z  Q. 

Tables  are  then  made  for  kinds  of  matter  that  is  not 
ordinary,  taken  from  various  kinds  of  telegraphic  and 
other  documents,  which  will  alter  only  slightly  the  per- 
centage values  of  the  letters  as  shown  in  a  table  from 
ordinary  English. 

Having  gone  along  thus  far,  the  expert  figures  how 
many  times  he  can  expect  to  find  two  letters  occurring 
together.  These  are  called  digraphs,  and  one  learns 
that  AH  will  show  up  once  in  a  thousand  letters,  while 
HA  will  be  found  twenty-six  times.  These  double-letter 
combinations  form  a  separate  table  all  of  their  own,  and 
the  common  ones  are  set  aside,  as  TH,  ER,  ON,  OR, 
etc.,  so  they  can  be  readily  guessed  or  mathematically 
figured  against  any  text. 

Tables  of  frequency  are  figured  out  for  the  various 
languages,  particularly  German,  and  the  ciphers  are 
divided  into  two  chief  classes,  substitution  and  trans- 
position.  The  writer  in  The  Press  says: 

Now  you  will  remember  those  percentages  of  vowels 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         79 

and  consonants.  Here  is  where  they  come  in.  When  a 
message  is  picked  up  the  army  expert  counts  the  times 
that  the  vowels  recur,  and  if  they  do  not  check  with 
the  40  per  cent  for  the  common  vowels,  with  the  conso- 
nant figures  tallying  within  5  per  cent  of  the  key,  he 
knows  that  he  is  up  against  a  substitution  cipher.  The 
transposition  kind  will  check  to  a  gnat's  heel. 

When  the  expert  knows  exactly  what  he  is  up  against 
he  is  ready  to  apply  the  figures  and  patiently  unravel 
the  story.  It  may  take  him  hours,  and  maybe  days,  but 
sooner  or  later  he  will  get  it  to  a  certainty. 

If  he  has  picked  up  a  transposition  fellow  he  pro- 
ceeds to  examine  it  geometrically,  placing  the  letters 
so  that  they  form  all  sorts  of  squares  and  rectangles 
that  come  under  the  heads  of  simple  horizontals,  simple 
verticals,  alternate  horizontals,  alternate  verticals,  sim- 
ple diagonals,  alternate  diagonals,  spirals  reading  clock- 
wise, and  spirals  reading  counter-clockwise.  Once  one 
gets  the  arrangement  of  the  letters,  the  reading  is  simple. 

For  instance,  ILVGIOIAEITSRNMANHMNG 
comes  along  the  wire.  It  doesn't  figure  for  a  substi- 
tution cipher  and  you  try  the  transposition  plan.  There 
are  twenty-one  letters  in  it,  and  the  number  at  once 
suggests  seven  columns  of  three  letters  each.  Try  it  on 
your  piano : 


I 

L 

V 

G 

I 

0 

I 

A 

E 

I 

T 

S 

R 

N 

M 

A 

N 

H 

M 

N 

G 

And  reading  down  each  column  in  succession  you  get 
"I  am  leaving  this  morning." 

After   passing   over    several    simple   ciphers    as    not 


80  STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

"classy"  enough  to  engage  the  reader's  attention,  the 
writer  takes  up  one  of  a  much  more  complicated  nature, 
which,  however,  did  not  get  by  Uncle  Sam's  code 
wizards.  Follow  the  deciphering  of  this  example  by 
Captain  Hitt: 

He  began  with  an  advertisement  which  appeared  in 
a  London  newspaper,  which  read  as  follows: 
"M.  B.  Will  deposit  <£27  14-5.  5d.  to-morrow." 
The  next  day  this  advertisement  in  cipher  appeared : 
"m.  b.  ct  osb  uhgi  tp  ipewf  h  cewil  nsttle  fjnvx 
xtyls  fwkkhi  bjlsi  sq  voi  bksm  xmkul  sk  nvponpn 
gsw  ol  ieag  npsi  hyjisfz  cyy  npuxqg  tprja  vxmxi  ap 
ehvppr  th  wppnel.  uvzua  mmyvsf  knts  zsz  uajpq 
dlmmjxl  jr  ra  portelogj  csultwni  xmkuhw  xgln 
elcpowy  ol.  uljtl  bvj  tlbwtpz  xld  k  zisznk  osy 
dl  ryjuajssgk.  tlfns  uvd  vv  fqgcyl  fjhvsi  yjl  nexv 
po  wtol  pyyyhsh  gqboh  agztiq  eyfax  ypmp  sqa  ci 
xeyvxnppaii  uv  tlftwmc  fit  wbwxguhiwu.  aiiwg  hsi 
yjvti  bjv  xmqn  sfx  dob  lrty  tz  qtxlnisvz.  gift  all 
uqsjgj  ohz  xfowfv  bkai  ctwy  dswtltttpkfrhg  ivx 
qcafv  tp  diis  jbf  esf  jsc  mccf  hngk  esbp  djpq  nlu 
ctw  rosb  csm." 

Now  just  off-hand,  the  average  man  would  shy  away 
from  this  combination  as  a  bit  of  news  that  he  really  did 
not  care  to  read.  But  to  the  cipher  fiend  it  was  a  thing 
of  j  oy,  and  it  illustrates  one  of  the  many  cases  that  they 
are  called  upon  to  read,  and  the  methods  by  which  they 
work. 

As  a  starting-point  the  cipher-man  assumed  that  the 
text  was  in  English  because  he  got  it  out  of  an  English 
newspaper,  but  he  did  not  stop  there.  He  checked  it 
from  a  negative  view-point  by  finding  the  letter  w  in  it, 
which  does  not  occur  in  the  Latin  languages,  and  by 
finding  that  the  last  fifteen  words  of  the  message  had 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         81 

from  two  to  four  letters  each,  which  would  have  been 
impossible  in  German. 

Then  he  proceeds  to  analyze.  The  message  has  108 
groups  that  are  presumably  words,  and  there  are  473 
letters  in  it.  This  makes  an  average  of  4.4  letters  to  the 
group,  whereas  one  versed  in  the  art  normally  expects 
about  five.  There  are  ninety  vowels  of  the  AEIOTJ 
group  and  seventy-eight  letters  JKQXZ.  Harking 
back  to  that  first  statement  of  percentages,  it  is  certain 
that  this  is  a  substitution  cipher  because  the  percentage 
does  not  check  with  the  transposition  averages. 

The  canny  man  with  the  sharp  pencil  then  looks  for 
recurring  groups  and  similar  groups  in  his  message  and 
he  finds  that  they  are : 

AIIWG  All  BKSM  BKAI  CT  CTWY  CTW 
DLMMJXL  DL  ESF  ESBP  FJNVX  FJHVSI  NPSJ 
NPUXQG  OSB  OSY  ROSB  OL  OL  PORTELOGJ  PO 
SQ  SQA  TP  TP  TLBWTPZ  TLFNS  TLFTWMC 
UVZUA  UVD  UV  SMKUL  XMKUHW  YJL  YJVTI. 

Passing  along  by  the  elimination  route  he  refers  to  his 
frequency  tables  to  see  how  often  the  same  letters  occur, 
and  he  finds  that  they  are  all  out  of  proportion,  and  he 
can  proceed  to  hunt  the  key  for  several  alphabets. 

He  factors  the  recurring  groups  like  a  small  boy  doing 
a  sum  in  arithmetic  when  he  wants  to  find  out  how  many 
numbers  multiplied  by  each  other  will  produce  a  larger 
one.  The  number  of  letters  between  recurring  groups 
and  words  is  counted  and  dissected  in  this  wise : 

AH    AH     45,  which  equals  3x3x5 

BK BK  345,  which  equals  23x3x5 

CT CT  403,no  factors 


82         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

CTW CTW     60,  which  equals  2x2x2x5 

DL DL      75,  which  equals  3x5x5 

ES ES      14,  which  equals  2x7 

FJ FJ    187,no  factors 

NP NP      14,  which  equals  2x7 

OL OL    120,  which  equals  2x2x2x3x5 

OS OS    220,  which  equals  11x2x2x5 

OSB OSB    465,  which  equals  31x3x5 

PO PO    105,  which  equals  7x3x5 

SQ SQ    250,  which  equals  2x5x5x5 

TLF TLF      80,  which  equals  2x2x2x2x5 

TP TP    405,  which  equals  3x3x3x3x5 

UV UV    115,  which  equals  23x5 

XMKU XMKU    120,  which  equals  2x2x2x3x5 

UV UV     73,no  factors 

YJ YJ      85,  which  equals  17x5 

Now  the  man  who  is  doing  the  studying  takes  a  squint 
at  this  result  and  he  sees  that  the  dominant  factor  all 
through  the  case  is  the  figure  5,  so  he  is  reasonably  sure 
that  five  alphabets  were  used,  and  that  the  key-word 
had,  therefore,  five  letters,  so  he  writes  the  message  in 
lines  of  five  letters  each  and  makes  a  frequency  table 
for  each  one  of  the  five  columns  he  has  formed,  and  he 
gets  the  following  result: 

Col.   1.  Col.  2.  Col.  3.  Col.  4.  Col.  5. 

A2  A9  Al  Al  A2 

B—  B  3  B  3  B—  B  7 

C  7  CI  C  3  C  4  C— 

D  2  D  2  D   1  D—  D  3 

E  4  E—  E  2  E  7  E— 

F  3  F—  F  9  F  3  F  5 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         83 
Col.   1.  Col.  2.  Col.  3.  Col.  4.         Col.  5. 


G  9 

G— 

G  3 

G  2 

G  2 

H  3 

H  5 

H  3 

H  3 

H  2 

I  2 

I  2 

I  7 

I  17 

I  2 

J  5 

J   1 

J  6 

J— 

J  9 

K  6 

K  5 

K— 

K  1 

K  1 

L— 

L  19 

L  2 

L  5 

L  1 

M— 

M— 

M  7 

M  4 

M  3 

N  7 

N  3 

N  4 

N— 

N  5 

O  5 

O— 

O  9 

O  1 

O— 

P  7 

P  7 

P  8 

P  4 

P— 

Q  5 

Q- 

Q- 

Q  2 

Q  6 

R— 

R  1 

R  1 

R  6 

R  1 

S— 

S  8 

S  6 

S  12 

S  7 

T  7 

T  3 

T  5 

T  1 

T  14 

U  7 

U  3 

U  6 

U— 

U  1 

V  5 

V— 

V  2 

V  5 

V— 

W  3 

W  4 

W— 

W  5 

W  7 

X  2 

X— 

X  4 

X  8 

X  6 

Y  4 

Y  5 

Y— 

Y  3 

Y  7 

Z— 

Z  5 

Z  3 

Z— 

Z  3 

Now,  having  erected  these  five  enigmatical  columns, 
Captain  Hitt  juggles  them  until  he  uncovers  the  hidden 
message,  thus: 

"In  the  table  for  column  1  the  letter  G  occurs  9 
times,"  he  says  with  an  air  of  a  man  having  found 
something  that  is  perfectly  plain.  "Let  us  consider  it 
tentatively  as  E. 

"Then,  if  the  cipher  alphabet  runs  regularly  and  in 
the  direction  of  the  regular  alphabet,  C  (7  times)  is 
equal  to  A,  and  the  cipher  alphabet  bears  a  close  resem- 


84         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

blance  to  the  regular  frequency  table.  Note  that  TUV 
(equal  to  RST)  occurring  respectively  7,  7,  and  5  times 
and  the  non-occurrence  of  B,  L,  M,  R,  S,  Z  (equal  to 
Z,  J,  K,  P,  Q,  and  X,  respectively). 

"In  the  next  table  L  occurs  19  times,  and  taking  it  for 
E  with  the  alphabet  running  the  same  way,  A  is  equal 
to  H.  The  first  word  of  our  message,  CT,  thus  becomes 
AM  when  deciphered  with  these  two  alphabets,  and  the 
first  two  letters  of  the  key  are  CH. 

"Similarly  in  the  third  table  we  may  take  either  F  or 
O  for  E,  but  a  casual  examination  shows  that  the  former 
is  correct  and  A  is  equal  to  B. 

"In  the  fourth  table  I  is  clearly  E  and  A  is  equal 
to  E. 

"The  fifth  table  shows  that  T  is  equal  to  14  and  J  is 
equal  to  9.  If  we  take  J  as  equal  to  E  then  T  is  equal  to 
O,  and  in  view  of  the  many  Es  already  accounted  for  in 
the  other  columns  this  may  be  all  right.  It  checks  as 
correct  if  we  apply  the  last  three  alphabets  to  the  second 
word  of  our  message,  OSB,  which  deciphers  NOW. 
Using  these  alphabets  to  decipher  the  whole  message  we 
find  it  to  read : 

"  'M.  B.  Am  now  safe  on  board  a  barge  moored  below 
Tower  Bridge,  where  no  one  will  think  of  looking  for 
me.  Have  good  friends  but  little  money  owing  to  action 
of  police.  Trust,  little  girl,  you  still  believe  in  my  inno- 
cence although  things  seem  against  me.  There  are  rea- 
sons why  I  should  not  be  questioned.  Shall  try  to 
embark  before  the  mast  in  some  outward-bound  vessel. 
Crews  will  not  be  scrutinized  as  sharply  as  passengers. 
There  are  those  who  will  let  you  know  my  movements. 
Fear  the  police  may  tamper  with  your  correspondence, 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         85 

but  later  on,  when  hue  and  cry  have  died  down,  will  let 
you  know  all." 

It  all  seems  simple  to  the  man  who  follows  the  idea 
closely,  but  Captain  Hitt  proceeds  to  make  further 
revelations  of  the  art.    He  adds : 

"The  key  to  this  message  is  CHBEF,  which  is  not 
intelligible  as  a  word,  but  if  put  into  figures,  indicating 
that  the  2d,  7th,  1st,  4th,  and  5th  letter  beyond  the 
corresponding  letter  of  the  message  has  been  used  as  a 
key  it  becomes  27145,  and  we  connect  it  with  the  per- 
sonal which  appeared  in  the  same  paper  the  day  before 
reading: 

"  'M.  B.    Will  deposit  £27  14*.  5d.  tomorrow.'  " 

This  is  only  one  of  the  many  methods  for  getting 
under  the  hide  of  a  coded  message  that  our  bright  men 
of  the  Army  and  their  cousins  of  the  State  and  Navy 
departments  have  worked  out  through  years  of  study  and 
application. 


DRIVING  IS  TOO  GOOD  FOR  THEM 

He — "And  that  night  we  drove  the  Germans  back 
two  miles." 

She — "Drove  them,  indeed.  I'd  have  made  them 
walk  every  step  of  it." 


NOW  THEY  DON'T  SPEAK 

The  Host — "I  thought  of  sending  some  of  these  cigars 
out  to  the  Front." 

The  Victim — "Good  idea!  But  how  can  you  make 
certain  that  the  Germans  will  get  them  ?" 


DIDN'T  RAISE  HIS  BOY  TO  BE  A 
"SLACKER" 

THEY  don't  raise  their  boys  to  be  gun-shy  down  in 
the  mountains  of  Kentucky,  so  when  John  Calhoun 
Allen,  of  Clay  County,  heard  that  his  son  had  been 
arrested  in  New  York  as  a  "slacker"  he  was  "plumb 
mad." 

The  young  man  was  rounded  up  with  a  bunch  of  other 
"conscientious  objectors"  and  taken  before  Judge  Mayer 
in  the  Federal  Court.  John  C.  junior  told  the  judge 
that  during  his  boyhood  in  the  Kentucky  mountains  he 
had  witnessed  so  much  bloodshed  that  he  was  now  op- 
posed to  fighting  and  had  a  horror  of  killing  a  man  or, 
in  fact,  of  being  killed  himself.  The  judge  was  puzzled. 
He  had  never  heard  before  of  a  Kentuckian  with  any 
such  complaint,  so  he  packed  the  young  man  off  to  Belle- 
vue  for  the  "once-over"  while  he  communicated  the  facts 
to  his  father  down  in  Clay  County,  and,  says  the  New 
York  Times: 

The  answer  arrived  in  the  form  of  the  6  feet  2  inches 
of  John  Allen  himself.  The  mountaineer  came  into 
court  just  before  the  noon  hour.  He  wore  the  boots  and 
the  corduroy  trousers  of  the  Kentucky  hills.  His  shirt 
was  blue,  collarless,  and  home-made.  His  coat  was  old- 
fashioned,  and  in  his  hand  he  carried  his  big  black 
sombrero. 

"May  it  please  your  honor,"  said  United  States  Dis- 
trict Attorney  Knox,  "we  have  with  us  the  father  of 
John  Calhoun  Allen." 

86 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         87 

The  mountaineer  looked  the  Judge  squarely  in  the  eye 
and  bowed.  Tall  and  erect,  he  towered  above  every 
other  man  in  the  court  room  and  he  was  not  in  the  least 
embarrassed. 

"Judge/'  he  said,  "I  got  your  letter  and  I  thank  you 
for  it,  and  I  started  to  answer  it  in  writin',  but  decided 
that  maybe  it  was  better  that  I  come  here  myself  and 
see  what's  the  matter  with  that  boy  of  mine.  It  ain't 
like  our  folks  to  act  as  that  youngster  has  acted,  and  I 
assure  you  that  I  am  plumb  mad  about  it.  I  have  five 
boys,  and  this  one  who  is  in  trouble  here  is  the  oldest. 
Two  of  my  lads  are  already  in  the  Army  and  the  two 
youngest  will  be  there  soon  as  they  are  old  enough. 

"And  so  I  have  come  all  the  way  from  Kentucky  to  get 
this  one  who  I  hear  is  a  backslider.  All  I  ask  is  for  you 
to  let  me  take  my  boy  back  to  Kentucky  with  me,  and  I 
will  see  to  it  that  he  comes  to  time  when  his  country  calls. 
There  ain't  going  to  be  no  quitters  in  the  Allen  family. 
My  boys  that  are  already  in  the  Army  ain't  twenty-one 
yet.  This  one  is  my  oldest  and  he's  the  first  to  miss  the 
trail,  but  he'll  find  the  trail  again  or  I'll  know  the  reason 
why." 

"I  have  the  utmost  confidence  in  you,"  said  Judge 
Mayer  after  the  old  man  finished,  "and  I  shall  release 
jdut  son  in  your  custody,  confident  that  you  will  see 
to  it  that  he  obeys  the  law  and  registers." 

"He'll  register  all  right,  Judge,"  replied  the  old  man, 
"and  I  tell  you  that  if  he  don't,  something  will  happen 
in  the  public  square  back  home,  and  all  the  folks  will 
have  a  chance  to  see  with  their  own  eyes  that  the  Aliens 
don't  stand  for  no  quitters  at  a  time  when  the  country 
needs  all  the  men  it  can  get." 


88         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

In  the  meantime  Marshal  McCarthy  had  sent  to  the 
Tombs  for  young  Allen,  and  the  young  man  was  wait- 
ing in  the  Marshal's  office  when  his  father  arrived. 
They  are  self-contained  people  down  in  the  Kentucky 
mountains.  Their  feelings  are  deep,  but  well  con- 
trolled, so  that  when  father  and  son  met  there  was 
no  show  of  emotion  on  the  part  of  either.  But  the 
sight  of  his  son  softened  the  father's  anger.  He  placed 
his  hand  gently  on  the  younger  man's  shoulder,  and 
this  is  the  way  The  Times  describes  the  scene  that 
followed : 

"Son,"  said  the  father,  "don't  you  know  what  it  means 
to  do  what  you  tried  to  do?  Don't  you  know  that  you 
don't  come  from  no  such  stock  as  these  slackers  and 
quitters,  or  whatever  else  you  call  such  cattle?  Don't 
you  know  that,  boy?  Well,  if  you  don't,  it's  time  you 
started  learnin'.  Now  you  ain't  crazy,  for  our  folks 
don't  go  crazy,  and  you  are  goin'  to  register,  and  you  are 
goin'  to  fight,  and  fight  your  darnedest,  too,  if  your  coun- 
try calls  you.  Now  just  put  that  in  your  head  and  let  it 
stay  there.  I  don't  want  to  hurt  you,  and  I  ain't  if  you 
do  right;  but  I  just  want  to  say  that  if  you  don't  do 
right,  when  I  get  you  back  home  I  will  take  you  into  the 
public  square  and  shoot  you  myself  in  the  presence  of  all 
the  folks." 

The  boy,  with  tears  in  his  eyes,  said  he  would  register 
just  as  quickly  as  he  could. 

"And  I'll  fight,  too,  if  they  want  me,"  the  boy  added. 

"Of  course  you  will,  for  if  you  didn't  you  wouldn't  be 
my  son,"  the  old  man  replied. 

And  that  was  the  end  of  the  Allen  incident. 

"That  old  fellow  is  one  of  the  kind  that  makes  the 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         89 

country  great.  He  is  a  real  American/'  said  Judge 
Mayer  afterward. 

Just  before  he  left  the  Federal  Building,  John  Allen 
asked  one  of  the  deputy  marshals  what  case  was  being 
tried  before  Judge  Mayer.  (It  was  the  case  of  Emma 
Goldman  and  Alexander  Berkman.) 

"I  noticed  a  man  and  a  woman  and  I  wondered  who 
they  were.    What  did  they  do?"  he  asked. 

"They  are  anarchists  and  they  are  on  trial  for  urging 
men  not  to  register  for  the  war/'  the  Marshal  replied. 

"Those  are  the  kind'er  folks  who  are  responsible  for 
boys  like  this  one  of  mine  gettin'  in  trouble,"  John  Allen 
observed.  "We  don't  have  folks  like  that  down  our 
way." 


CONSOLING  INFORMATION 

Mrs.  S.  Kensington — "We  have  such  good  news  from 
the  front!     Dear  Charles  is  safely  wounded,  at  last!" 


HE  WAS  ALL  RIGHT 

Doctor — "Why  were  you  rejected?" 

Applicant  (smiling) — "For  imbecility." 

"What  do  you  do  for  a  living?" 

"Nothing;  I  have  an  income  of  six  thousand  dollars." 

"Are  you  married  ?" 

"Yes." 

"What  does  you  wife  do?" 

"Nothing;  she  is  richer  than  I." 

"You  are  no  imbecile.     Passed  for  general  service." 


THE   100-POUND  TERROR  OF  THE  AIR 

WHEN  he  registered  at  a  New  York  hotel  the  clerk 
looked  him  over  with  a  supercilious  eye.  He 
was  a  trifle  undersized,  to  be  sure,  and  youngish — 
twenty-two  and  weighing  only  one  hundred  pounds. 
And  the  name,  W.  A.  Bishop,  hastily  scrawled  on  the 
register,  meant  nothing  to  the  clerk — probably  some 
college  stripling  in  town  to  give  Broadway  the  once-over. 
But  a  little  later  the  same  clerk  looked  at  that  name  on 
the  hotel  roster  with  a  sensation  as  nearly  approaching 
awe  as  a  New  York  hotel  clerk  is  capable  of  feeling;  for 
he  had  learned  that  the  diminutive  guest  was  the  world- 
famous  Maj.  William  Avery  Bishop,  of  the  British 
Royal  Flying  Corps,  who  in  three  months  won  every 
decoration  Great  Britain  has  created  to  pin  upon  the 
breasts  of  her  gallant  fighters. 

Mars  is  a  grim  god  and  an  exacting  master,  but  he 
sometimes  "smoothes  his  wrinkled  f  ront"  at  the  blandish- 
ments of  the  little  god  of  Love.  And  it  was  so  in  the  case 
of  Major  Bishop  when  the  gallant  knight  of  the  air 
checked  the  war-god  in  the  hotel  coat  room  and  slipped 
away  with  Dan  Cupid  to  Toronto,  where  his  sweetheart 
was  waiting  to  welcome  him.  They  are  to  be  married 
before  he  returns  to  the  front. 

The  St.  Louis  Post-Dispatch  reckons  Bishop  as  the 
greatest  air  fighter  since  Guynemer.  It  says  of  his 
exploits: 

So  far  as  is  known,  Major  Bishop  is  the  only  living 
90 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         91 

man  who  has  a  right  to  wear  not  only  the  Military 
Medal  but  the  Order  of  Distinguished  Service,  and  not 
only  that,  but  the  Victoria  Cross.  Yet  he  is  only  twenty- 
two  years  old,  and  he  blushed  and  stammered  like  a 
schoolboy  when  he  tried  to  explain  something  about  air 
fighting  at  a  Canadian  club  dinner  in  New  York.  How- 
ever, here  is  his  record  as  piled  up  in  five  months  at  the 
front : 

One  hundred  and  ten  single  combats  with  Ger- 
man fliers. 

Forty-seven  Hun  airplanes  sent  crashing  to  the 
earth. 

Twenty-three  other  planes  sent  down,  but  under 
conditions  which  made  it  impossible  to  know  cer- 
tainly that  they  and  their  pilots  had  been  destroyed. 

Thrilling  escapes  without  number,  including  one 
fall  of  4,000  feet  with  his  machine  in  flames. 

The  most  daredevil  feat  of  the  war — an  attack 
single-handed  on  a  Boche  airdrome,  in  which  he 
destroyed  three  enemy  machines. 

These  feats  not  only  won  medals  for  the  hero,  but 
rapid  promotion.  With  his  appointment  as  Major,  he 
was  also  named  chief  instructor  of  aerial  gunnery — 
which  is  his  chief  hobby — and  commander  of  an  airplane 
squadron. 

Bishop  went  to  Europe  from  his  home  in  Owen  Sound, 
a  little  Ontario  town,  where  his  father  is  County  Regis- 
trar, in  the  spring  of  1 9 1 5  as  a  cavalry  private.  Cavalry- 
men have  an  easy  time  these  days  waiting  for  the  trench 
warfare  to  end  and  the  coming  of  the  open  fighting,  when 
they  can  get  at  the  Hun.     Bishop  didn't  want  to  wait, 


92         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

so  he  was  transferred  to  the  flying  corps.  He  made  no 
particular  impression  on  these  officers,  but  finally  got  a 
place  as  observer  in  the  spring  of  1916.  His  machine 
was  shot  down  presently,  and  when  he  came  out  of 
hospital  he  was  given  three  months'  leave,  most  of  which 
he  spent  at  home. 

When  he  went  back  last  fall  he  tried  again,  and  this 
time  succeeded  in  qualifying  as  a  pilot.  He  spent  the 
early  winter  training  in  England,  and  finally  reached 
the  front  in  February.    Then  things  began  to  happen. 

His  first  enemy  plane  was  brought  down  within  a  few 
days,  under  circumstances  which  have  not  been  told,  but 
which  were  enough  to  win  the  Military  Medal.  By 
Easter  his  record  was  such  that  he  was  made  flight  com- 
mander and  captain.  He  celebrated  by  attacking  three 
German  planes  single-handed.  Four  others  came  to 
their  rescue.  He  got  two;  then  out  of  ammunition,  he 
went  home.    This  brought  him  the  D.  S.  O. 

Bishop  won  the  Victoria  Cross  in  a  sensational  air 
battle.  Here  is  the  official  account  as  given  in  The  Post- 
Dispatch  : 

"Captain  Bishop  flew  first  to  an  enemy  airdrome. 
Finding  no  enemy  machine  about,  he  flew  to  another 
about  three  miles  distant  and  about  twelve  miles  within 
enemy  lines.  Seven  machines,  some  with  their  engines 
running,  were  on  the  ground.  He  attacked  these  from  a 
height  of  fifty  feet,  killing  one  of  the  mechanics. 

"One  of  the  machines  got  off  the  ground,  but  Captain 
Bishop,  at  a  height  of  sixty  feet,  fired  fifteen  rounds 
into  it  at  close  range.  A  second  machine  got  off  the 
ground,  into  which  he  fired  thirty  rounds  at  150  yards. 
It  fell  into  a  tree.    Two  more  machines  rose  from  the  air- 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         93 

drome,  one  of  which  he  engaged  at  a  height  of  1,000  feet, 
sending  it  crashing  to  the  ground.  He  then  emptied  a 
whole  drum  of  cartridges  into  the  fourth  hostile  machine 
and  flew  back  to  the  station. 

"Four  hostile  scouts  were  1,000  feet  above  him  for  a 
mile  during  his  return  journey,  but  they  would  not  at- 
tack. His  machine  gun  was  badly  shot  about  by  machine 
gun  fire  from  the  ground." 

Apparently  the  official  reporter  was  not  interested  in 
the  Captain's  condition.  The  damaged  machine  gun 
accounts  for  his  strategic  retreat,  which  satisfies  official- 
dom. On  Bishop's  behalf,  it  should  be  remembered  that 
an  aviator  lives  very  close  to  his  machine  gun  during  a 
fracas — if  he  lives. 

Anyhow,  Bishop  got  the  V.  C.  for  this  before-break- 
fast  excursion.  When  he  was  given  a  furlough,  a  few 
weeks  ago,  it  was  suggested  that  he  stop  at  Buckingham 
Palace  on  his  way  home.  There  a  rather  small  man  with 
a  light  beard  and  a  crown  pinned  the  three  medals  on  the 
breast  of  the  Canadian. 

Major  Bishop  himself  is  inclined  to  complain  a  little 
at  the  tools  with  which  he  has  to  work.  His  faith  in 
incendiary  bullets  has  been  shattered,  for  instance. 

"You  want  to  bring  the  Hun  down  in  flames  if  you 
can,"  he  explained.  "That  is  the  nicest  way.  But  you 
can't  be  sure  of  doing  that.  I  shot  six  incendiary  bullets 
into  one  fellow's  petrol  tank  one  day,  and  the  thing 
wouldn't  blow  up." 

Good  shooting  is  what  does  the  trick,  he  says,  and 
plenty  of  it. 

"Don't  trust  to  one  bullet  to  kill  a  Hun.  Get  him  in 
the  head  if  you  can,  or  at  least  in  the  upper  part  of  the 


94         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

body.  But  get  him  several  times — one  bullet  is  never 
sure  to  kill  one.  Get  hunks  of  them  into  him;  into  his 
head.  That  does  it.  The  greatest  thing  to  teach  the 
new  man  is  how  to  shoot." 

Sounds  rather  bloodthirsty,  but  this  100-pound  fighter 
knows  his  enemy  and  of  what  he  is  capable.  While 
Bishop  finds  bombing  quite  interesting,  he  prefers  duel- 
ing, which  he  says  is  still  seeking  higher  altitudes;  in 
fact,  when  one  is  flying  above  22,000  feet  he  is  never 
sure  that  he  will  not  be  attacked  from  above.  The  unex- 
pected appeals  to  Bishop,  who  cites  the  following  as  an 
enj  oyable  occasion : 

"I  was  about  10,000  feet  up,  going  through  a  cloud 
bank,  without  a  thing  in  my  mind  but  to  get  back  six  or 
seven  miles  behind  the  Hun  lines  and  see  what  was  going 
on,  when  I  heard  the  rattle  of  machine  guns.  I  looked 
back  and  there  were  three  Huns  coming  straight  for  me. 
We  all  started  firing  at  about  300  yards.  I  gave  all  I 
had  to  one  fellow  and  he  came  to  within  about  ten  yards 
of  me  before  swerving.  He  went  by  in  flames.  I 
turned  on  the  second  and  he  fell,  landing  only  about  100 
yards  from  the  first  one,  which  shows  how  fast  we  were 
going. 

"I  was  excited,  and  the  third  machine  escaped,"  he 
added  apologetically. 

An  attack,  two  duels,  and  two  victories  while  the 
planes  were  traveling  less  than  a  quarter  of  a  mile,  at 
over  100  miles  an  hour !    Time,  perhaps  ten  seconds. 

It  was  Bishop,  according  to  reports,  who  invented  the 
plan  of  diving  down  and  shooting  the  Germans  from  be- 
hind during  an  attack.  He  did  not  discuss  the  origin  of 
the  idea,  but  denied  that  it  did  much  damage.     Oh,  yes, 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         95 

an  occasional  machine  gun  nest,  but,  then,  there  are  only 
a  few  men  in  these.  The  real  effect  was  moral.  It  dis- 
tracts the  Hun  to  be  shot  in  the  back.  Also  it  greatly 
encourages  the  infantry  who  are  charging. 

"They  cheer  like  mad,"  he  grinned.  "They  think  we 
are  killing  thousands  of  Huns." 

Traditions  gather  thick  around  such  a  man.  Tommy 
has  no  demigods  in  his  religion,  but  he  does  the  best  he 
can  with  his  heroes.  So  Tommy  says  that  Bishop 
brought  down  nine  machines  in  a  two-hour  fight  one  day. 
But  Tommy's  best  story  of  him  is  given  to  illustrate  the 
nerve  which  enj  oys  being  called  on  to  fight  for  life  on  a 
split  second's  notice. 

A  Hun  flier  had  used  an  incendiary  bullet  on  Bishop's 
petrol  tank  that  did  work,  Tommy  reports.  The  battle 
had  been  at  a  low  altitude,  about  two  miles  up.  Bishop's 
plane  flamed  up,  and  he  fell.  He  was  on  the  point  of 
jumping  and  had  loosed  the  straps  that  held  him  into 
the  fuselage.  Airmen  dislike  being  burned  to  death. 
But  he  decided  to  make  a  try  for  life  at  the  risk  of  this, 
and  after  he  had  fallen  4,000  feet  or  so  took  the  levers 
again  and  pulled  up  the  nose  of  the  plane,  straightening 
her  out.  Of  course,  his  engine  was  out,  so  he  began  to 
tail  dive,  and  went  a  few  more  thousand  feet  that  way. 
Then  he  succeeded  in  straightening  her  out  once  more, 
but  side-slipped,  and  finally  banked  just  as  he  struck. 
One  wing  of  his  flaming  machine  hit  first  and  broke  the 
fall.  The  loosened  straps  let  him  jump  clear.  He  was 
just  behind  the  British  lines,  and  Tommy  rushed  up  and 
gathered  him  in  and  extinguished  the  fire  in  his  blazing 
clothing. 

He  was  not  hurt. 


THE  WATCH-DOGS  OF  THE  TRENCHES 

THERE  are  stories  a-plenty  of  the  dash  and  fire  of 
youth  in  the  trenches.  But  by  no  means  are  all  the 
men  young  who  are  battling  on  the  front  in  France. 
There  are  the  territorials,  the  line  defenders,  the  men  of 
the  provinces,  with  wives  and  children  at  home. 

"They  are  wonderful,  these  older  fellows,"  said  an 
officer  enthusiastically,  after  a  visit  to  the  trenches. 
"They  ought  to  be  decorated — every  one  of  them !" 

It  is  of  these  watch-dogs  of  the  trenches  that  Rene 
Bazin  has  written  in  Lisez-Moi,  and  the  article,  trans- 
lated by  Mary  L.  Stevenson,  is  printed  in  the  Chicago 
Tribune.    Mr.  Bazin  says: 

I  am  proud  of  the  young  fighters,  but  those  I  am 
proudest  of  are  the  older  ones.  These  have  passed  the 
age  when  the  hot  blood  coursing  through  their  veins 
drives  them  to  adventure;  they  are  leaving  behind  wife, 
children,  present  responsibilities,  and  future  plans — 
those  things  hardest  to  cast  off.  Leaving  all  this,  as  they 
have  done,  without  a  moment's  hesitation,  is  proof 
enough  of  their  courage.  And  from  the  beginning  of  the 
war  to  the  present  time  I  have  never  talked  to  a  solitary 
commanding  officer  that  he  has  not  eulogized  his  terri- 
torials. 

They  are  essentially  trench  defenders,  lookout  men. 
The  young  ones  do  the  coursing.  These  attack,  the 
others  guard.  But  how  they  do  guard,  how  they  hold  the 
ground,  once  won !    N earing  the  front,  if  you  meet  them 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         97 

on  the  march  as  they  are  about  to  be  relieved,  you  can 
recognize  them  even  from  afar  by  two  signs :  they  march 
without  any  military  coquetry,  even  dragging  their  feet 
a  little,  and  they  have  everything  with  them  that  they 
can  possibly  carry — sacks,  blankets,  cans,  bagpipes, 
cartridge-boxes,  with  the  neck  of  a  bottle  sticking  out 
of  their  trousers  pocket.  Even  when  you  get  near  enough 
to  see  their  faces  many  of  these  men  do  not  look  at  you ; 
they  are  intent  upon  their  own  thoughts.  They  know 
the  hard  week  ahead  of  them.  But  the  wind  and  rain 
are  already  old  friends ;  the  mud  of  the  trenches  does  not 
frighten  them ;  patience  has  long  been  their  lot ;  they  ac- 
cept death's  lottery,  knowing  well  that  they  are  protect- 
ing those  they  have  left  behind,  and  they  go  at  it  as  to  a 
great  task  whose  harvest  may  not  be  reaped  or  even 
known  until  months  later. 

In  truth,  these  men  from  the  provinces — vine-growers, 
teamsters,  little  peasant  farmers,  the  most  numerous  of 
all  among  today's  combatants — will  have  played  a  mag- 
nificent role  in  the  Great  War.  History  will  have  to  pro- 
claim this,  in  justice  to  the  French  villages,  and  may  the 
Government  see  fit  to  honor  and  aid  these  silent  heroes 
who  will  have  done  so  much  to  save  the  country. 

They  disappear  quickly,  lost  in  the  defiles  or  swal- 
lowed up  by  the  mist,  which  night  has  thickened.  Once 
in  the  trenches,  they  find  the  work  begun  the  previous 
week  and  which  has  been  carried  on  by  their  comrades' 
hands,  and  when  it  comes  their  turn  to  guard  the  battle- 
ments they  hide  themselves  in  the  same  holes  in  the  clay 
wall.  No  unnecessary  movements,  no  flurry,  no  brava- 
dos, no  setting  off  of  flashes  or  grenade  and  bomb-throw- 
ing, by  which  the  younger  troops  immediately  show  their 


98         STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

presence  in  the  trenches,  and  which  only  provokes  a 
reply  from  the  enemy. 

They  are  holding  fast,  but  they  keep  still  about  it. 
Suddenly  the  Boches  are  coming.  There  are  some  splen- 
did sharpshooters  in  this  regiment,  and  in  the  attack  of 
the  Seventh  and  in  the  surprise  attempt  of  the  Four- 
teenth at  daybreak  it  was  seen  what  these  men  could  do. 
An  officer  said  to  me:  "They  suffer  the  least  loss;  they 
excel  in  shelters  of  earthwork,  they  merge  right  into  the 
turf." 

Many  of  the  sectors  of  the  front  are  held  by  this 
guard  of  older  men.  When  the  German  reserves  were 
hurled  in  pursuit  of  the  Belgian  Army  in  1914,  threat- 
ening the  shores  of  Pas  de  Calais,  a  territorial  division 
checked  the  onslaught  of  the  best  troops  of  the  German 
Empire.  Of  their  work  in  the  trenches,  Mr.  Bazin 
writes : 

But  do  not  let  anyone  think  theirs  is  a  life  of  inaction ; 
work  is  not  lacking;  even  night  is  a  time  of  reports,  of 
revictualing,  of  reconnoitering,  or  repairing  barbed-wire 
entanglements. 

When  the  sector  is  quiet,  however,  the  territorial  en- 
joys some  free  hours.  He  writes  a  great  deal;  makes 
up  for  all  the  time  past  when  he  wrote  almost  no  letters 
at  all  and  for  all  the  time  to  come  when  he  promises 
himself  to  leave  the  pen  hidden  on  the  groove  of  the 
ink-well,  idle  on  the  mantel.  One  of  them  said  to  me: 
"They  have  put  up  a  letter-box  in  my  village.  What 
will  it  be  good  for  after  the  war — a  swallow's  nest?" 

Many  of  these  letters  contain  only  a  recital  of  un- 
eventful days  and  the  prescribed  formalities  of  friend- 
ship or  love,  banal  to  the  general  public  but  dear  enough 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES         99 

to  those  who  are  waiting  and  who  will  sit  around  the 
lamp  of  an  evening  and  comment  on  every  word.  I 
know  young  women  throughout  the  country  who  receive 
a  letter  from  their  husbands  every  day.  The  war  has 
served  as  a  school  for  adults.  Sometimes  expediency 
entirely  disappears  and  it  is  the  race  which  speaks,  and 
the  hidden  faith,  and  the  soul  which  perhaps  has  never 
thus  been  laid  bare. 

Here  is  a  letter  which  has  been  brought  to  my  notice. 
For  a  year  it  had  been  carried  in  the  pocket  of  a  terri- 
torial who  wrote  it  as  his  last  will  and  testament,  and 
when  he  was  killed  it  was  sent  to  his  widow.  Read  it 
and  see  if  you  would  not  like  to  have  had  him  who  wrote 
it  as  a  friend  and  neighbor : 

"My  dear,  today,  as  I  am  writing  these  lines,  my  heart 
feels  very  big,  and  if  you  ever  read  them  it  will  be  because 
I  died  doing  my  duty.  I  ask  you,  before  I  go,  to  bring  up 
our  children  in  honor  and  in  memory  of  me,  for  I  have 
loved  them  very  dearly,  and  I  shall  have  died  thinking  of 
them  and  of  you.  Tell  them  I  died  on  the  field  of  honor, 
and  that  I  ask  them  to  offer  the  same  sacrifice  the  day 
France  shall  need  their  arms  and  hearts.  Preserve  my 
certificate  of  good  conduct,  and  later  make  them  know 
that  their  father  would  like  to  have  lived  for  them  and 
for  you,  whom  I  have  always  held  so  dear.  Now,  I  do 
not  want  you  to  pass  the  rest  of  your  life  worshiping  one 
dead.  On  the  contrary,  if  during  your  life  you  meet 
some  good,  industrious  young  fellow  capable  of  giving 
you  loyal  aid  in  rearing  our  children,  join  your  life  with 
his  and  never  speak  to  him  of  me,  for  if  he  loves  you  it 
would  only  cast  the  shadow  of  a  dead  man  upon  him— 
it  is  over,  my  dear.     I  love  you  now  and  forever,  even 


100       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

through  eternity.  Good-bye!  I  shall  await  you  over 
there.    Your  adoring  Jean." 

As  showing  the  dogged,  determined  character  of  these 
men,  Mr.  Bazin  relates  the  following  incident: 

Lately,  when  both  wind  and  rain  were  raging,  an 
officer  told  me  of  going  up  to  two  lookout  men,  immov- 
able at  their  posts  in  the  first  line  trench,  and  joking 
with  them,  he  said : 

"Let's  see,  what  do  you  need?" 

"Less  mud." 

"I  am  in  the  same  boat.    What  else?" 

"This  and  that — " 

"You  shall  have  it,  I  promise  you.     Tired?" 

"A  little." 

"Discouraged?" 

They  made  a  terrible  face,  looked  at  him,  and  together 
replied:  "If  you  have  come  to  say  such  things  as  that, 
sir,  you  better  not  have  come  at  all.  Discouraged?  No, 
indeed !    We're  not  the  kind  who  get  discouraged !" 


ALL  IN  THE  SAME  COUNTRY 

The  German  officer  who  confiscated  a  map  of  Crip- 
ple Creek  belonging  to  an  American  traveler,  and  re- 
marked that  "the  German  Army  might  get  there  some 
time,"  should  be  classed  with  the  London  banker  who 
sasid  to  a  solicitous  mother  seeking  to  send  cash  to 
San  Antonio,  Texas,  for  her  wandering  son:  "We 
haven't  any  correspondent  in  San  Antonio,  but  111  give 
you  a  draft  on  New  York,  and  he  can  ride  in  and  cash 
it  any  fine  afternoon." 


GENERAL  BELL  REDEEMS  HIS  PROMISE 

THE  youngsters  at  Camp  Upton  looked  with  admir- 
ing and  envious  eyes  at  the  ribbons  pinned  on  the 
left  breast  of  the  man  who  entered  headquarters.  Then 
they  looked  up  at  the  face  of  the  wearer  of  these  em- 
blems of  service  in  the  Indian  Wars,  Cuba,  and  the 
Philippines,  and  they  saw  a  sturdy  campaigner  of  field 
and  desert,  his  face  bronzed  by  many  scorching  suns. 
On  the  left  sleeve  of  his  coat  were  the  three  bars  of  a 
sergeant  with  the  emblem  of  the  supply  department  in 
the  inverted  V. 

This  ghost  of  the  old  Army  seemed  to  feel  a  little  out 
of  place  for  a  moment,  and  then  he  turned  to  Sergeant 
Dunbaugh  and  said: 

"I'd  like  to  see  the  General,  if  you  please." 

"Have  you  an  appointment?"  asked  Dunbaugh  a  bit 
hesitatingly. 

"Well,  no,  but  the  General  told  me  to  come  back,  so  I 

am  here." 

As  the  General  was  then  out  in  the  camp  Sergeant 
Dunbaugh  suggested  that  the  old  soldier  tell  him  just 
what  he  wanted  to  see  him  about,  and,  says  the  New 
York  Sun: 

So  the  story  of  Sergeant  Busick  was  told — the  story 
of  a  once  trim  young  trooper  and  a  once  dashing  lieuten- 
ant of  the  Seventh  Cavalry,  immortalized  by  Custer  and 
honored  by  a  whole  army. 

Twenty  years  ago  Edward  Busick  was  assigned  as  a 
101 


102       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

private  to  G  Troop  of  the  Seventh,  stationed  at  Fort 
Apache,  Arizona.  At  that  time  G  was  officially  lacking 
u  captain,  so  a  certain  young  lieutenant  was  acting  com- 
mander, and  for  his  orderly  he  chose  one  Trooper 
Busick. 

One  evening,  a  year  later,  the  lieutenant  received  sud- 
den orders  to  report  immediately  to  a  staff  post.  All 
that  night  his  orderly  worked  with  him  packing  his 
personal  belongings  and  helping  him  get  ready  for  an 
early-morning  start.  It  was  a  long  job,  and  a  hard  one, 
but  the  orderly  didn't  mind  the  work  in  the  least;  all  he 
cared  about  was  the  loss  of  his  troop  commander. 

"Don't  suppose  I'll  ever  see  you  again,  Busick,  but  if 
I  do,  and  there's  anything  I  can  do  for  you,  I'll  be  glad 
to  do  it,"  the  lieutenant  told  him  when  the  job  was 
finished  and  the  last  box  had  been  nailed  down. 

It  wasn't  very  much  for  a  lieutenant  to  say  to  his 
orderly,  but  it  meant  a  great  deal  to  this  trim  young 
trooper.  Somehow,  in  the  old  Army,  orderlies  get  to 
thinking  a  great  deal  of  their  officers  and  Busick  hap- 
pened to  be  just  that  particular  kind.  He  had  an  espe- 
cially good  memory,  too. 

The  whirligig  of  fate  that  seems  to  have  so  much  to 
do  with  Army  affairs  sent  the  lieutenant  to  the  Philip- 
pines, where,  as  colonel  of  the  suicide  regiment,  he  won 
everlasting  honor  for  his  regiment  and  a  Congressional 
medal  for  valor  for  himself.  Then  on  up  he  jumped 
until  his  shoulder-straps  bore  the  single  star  of  a  briga- 
dier. Then  another  star  was  added,  and  he  became  chief 
of  staff  and  ranking  officer  in  the  whole  Army. 

And  all  the  while  the  whirligig  that  looks  after  en- 
listed men  saw  to  it  that  Trooper  Busick  added  other 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES       103 

colored  bars  to  his  service  ribbons.  And  slowly  he 
added  pounds  to  his  slim  girth  and  a  wife  and  children 
to  his  fireside.  But  as  a  heavy  girth  and  a  family  aren't 
exactly  synonymous  with  dashing  cavalrymen,  Sergeant 
Busick  saw  to  it  that  he  was  transferred  from  the  roving 
cavalry  to  the  stationary  Coast  Artillery.  And  through 
all  the  years  he  remembered  the  lieutenant  and  his 
promise  that  if  he  ever  wanted  anything  he  would  try 
to  get  it  for  him. 

One  month  ago  Sergeant  Busick  got  a  furlough  from 
his  Coast  Artillery  company  at  Fort  McKinley,  Port- 
land, Me.,  and  bought  a  ticket  to  Camp  Upton,  New 
York.  There  were  only  a  few  men  here  then,  so  he 
didn't  have  any  great  difficulty  in  seeing  his  old  first 
lieutenant. 

For  half  a  minute  or  so  General  Bell,  commanding 
officer  of  the  Seventy-seventh  Division  of  the  National 
Army  and  one-time  first  lieutenant  of  the  Seventh  Cav- 
alry, didn't  recognize  his  old  orderly — but  it  was  for 
only  half  a  minute. 

"You'll  sleep  in  our  quarters  with  us  tonight,"  Gen- 
eral Bell  ordered.  "Tomorrow  we'll  see  about  that  old 
promise." 

So  that  night  Sergeant  Busick  had  the  room  between 
Major-General  Bell's  and  Brigadier-General  Read's. 
But  sleeping  next  to  generals  was  pretty  strong  for  an 
ordinary  sergeant  and  he  didn't  accept  General  Bell's 
invitation  to  have  mess  with  him. 

And  a  little  later  Busick  told  his  old  commander  that 
the  big  request  that  he  had  come  across  the  continent  to 
make  was  that  he  be  transferred  to  the  Seventy-seventh 
division  and  allowed  to  serve  under  the  General.     But 


104       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

army  tape  is  still  long  and  red,  so  all  that  the  General 
could  do  was  to  send  the  sergeant  back  to  his  post  and 
promise  that  he  would  do  all  that  he  could.  This,  it 
proved,  was  sufficient. 

For  Sergeant  Edward  Busick,  smiling  and  happy 
with  his  reassignment  papers  safely  tucked  away  in  the 
pocket  of  his  blouse  under  his  half  a  foot  of  service 
ribbons,  came  back  to  report  for  duty.  It  took  twenty 
years  to  do — but  he's  done  it. 

And  the  National  Army  of  Freedom  hasn't  any  idea 
as  yet  how  much  richer  in  real  soldier  talent  and  color 
it  is  today.  But  a  certain  old  campaigner,  who  used  to 
be  a  first  lieutenant  of  cavalry,  knows. 


NO  GREAT  LOSS 

An  American  stopping  at  a  London  hotel  rang  sev- 
eral times  for  attendance,  but  no  one  answered.  He 
started  for  the  office  in  an  angry  mood,  which  was  not 
improved  when  he  found  that  the  "lift"  was  not  run- 
ning. Descending  two  flights  of  stairs,  he  met  one  of 
the  chambermaids. 

"What's  the  matter  with  this  dashed  hotel?"  ht 
growled.  "No  one  to  answer  your  call  and  no  elevator 
running." 

"Well,  you  see,  sir,"  said  the  maid,  "the  Zeps  were 
reported  and  we  were  all  ordered  to  the  cellar  for 
safety." 

" !"  ejaculated  the  American.     "I  was  on  the 

fifth  floor  and  I  wasn't  warned." 

"No,  sir,"  was  the  bland  reply,  "but  you  see,  sir, 
you  don't  come  under  the  Employers'  Liability  Act,  sir." 


LETTERS  FROM  THE  FRONT 

4  *  T    AST  evening  we  went  out  into  a  field,  and  read 

1  ^  Jane  Austen's  'Emma'  out  loud." 

Do  you  get  the  picture?  Can  you  see  the  fading 
glory  of  the  sunset  sky,  and  hear  the  soft  breeze,  sweetly 
laden  with  the  scent  of  new-mown  hay,  as  it  murmurs 
through  the  gently  rustling  leaves — a  real  autumn  scene 
of  rural  peace  and  quiet? 

Yes?  Well,  you  are  quite  mistaken.  That  is  an 
extract  from  a  letter  written  by  an  ambulance  driver  on 
the  French  front.  And  so  you  see  that  war  is  not  all 
horror. 

Emerson  Low,  the  son  of  Alfred  M.  Low,  of  Detroit, 
went  to  France  with  a  group  of  college  boys.  He  joined 
the  American  Field  Ambulance  Service,  and  is  now  in  the 
thick  of  the  fighting  in  the  Champagne  district.  The 
Detroit  Free  Press  prints  some  extracts  from  his  letters 
to  his  family.     In  one  he  tells  of  his  trip  to  the  posts : 

Day  before  yesterday  several  of  us  started  out  for  the 
posts.  I  carried  the  medecin  divisionnaire  and  went  a 
little  before  the  others.  In  spite  of  the  fact  that  the 
fields  are  being  recultivated  and  the  searness  of  former 
battles  is  somewhat  concealed,  the  road  to  the  front  is 
rather  a  grim  affair,  and  you  are  startled  when  you  pass 
through  a  town  deserted  and  demolished.  There  is 
quite  a  large  town  between  this  one  and  the  front.  It  is 
uninhabited  except  for  a  few  soldiers  and  a  yellow  dog 
that  slinks  about  in  the  doorways. 

I  left  the  medecin  divisionnaire  at  his  abri,  a  little 
105 


106       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

further  along  the  road,  a  road  hidden  completely  by 
strips  of  burlap  tied  to  poles.  The  first  post  is  in  a 
little  wood.  There  were  two  of  us  there,  and  we  tossed 
a  coin  to  see  who  would  take  the  first  call.  I  won  and 
waited  for  an  ambulance  to  come  in  from  one  of  our  three 
posts.  These  posts  are  along  the  front  of  the  hill  where 
the  battle  is  taking  place.  They  are  all  reached  by 
going  through  and  then  beyond  X  (you  remember  the 
little  destroyed  town  with  the  church  which  I  spoke  of 
during  our  first  month).  The  first  post  was  a  smaller 
town  than  X,  and  is  now  razed  completely  to  the  ground. 
The  second  is  about  one-fourth  of  a  mile  to  the  right  and 
the  third — which  can  only  be  reached  during  the  night 
and  left  before  dawn — is  a  German  abri,  formerly  a  dug- 
out of  German  officers.  The  German  saucises  are 
directly  above  the  road,  and  any  machine  would  be 
shelled  in  the  daytime.  The  posts  are  close  together  and 
are  reached  by  exposed  roads. 

My  call  came  about  noon.  I  was  given  an  orderly, 
and  left  for  the  first  post.  From  the  road  we  could  see 
the  shells  breaking  on  the  hill  and  in  the  fields  about, 
where  the  French  batteries  were  hidden.  We  reached 
the  post,  backed  the  machine  into  a  wide  trench,  which 
hid  it  from  view,  and  then  went  into  the  dugout.  It  was 
a  new  iron  dugout,  about  30  feet  long  and  10  or  12  feet 
broad,  with  bunks  on  either  side.  On  top  were  heaped 
bags  of  sand  and  dirt. 

We  read  until  about  two  o'clock,  when  several  shells 
fell  in  the  battery  field  a  few  meters  behind  us.  Then  a 
few  shells  fell  in  a  field  to  the  right,  and  in  another 
moment  we  were  in  the  midst  of  a  bombardment.  It 
lasted  all  afternoon.    Two  men  trying  to  enter  the  dug- 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        107 

out  were  hit,  one  in  the  throat  and  the  other  in  the 
shoulder,  but  not  badly.  About  six  o'clock  it  grew  so 
bad  and  so  many  shells  fell  on  the  roof  of  the  dugout 
that  we  had  to  leave,  cross  through  some  trenches — a 
strange-looking  procession,  crouching  and  running  along 
— and  get  into  a  deep  cave  about  twenty  feet  under  the 
ground,  where  we  stayed  until  eight  o'clock  in  the  even- 
ing. Then  the  firing  became  intermittent,  the  shells  hit 
further  to  the  right  and  left,  and  we  ran  back  into  the 
dugout. 

It  was  still  light  and  an  airplane  soared  above  us,  the 
noise  of  which  is  to  me,  for  an  unaccountable  reason,  one 
of  the  most  reassuring  sounds  I  have  ever  heard. 

Quite  jocularly  he  writes  of  supper,  first  having 
looked  at  his  car  which  he  found  uninjured,  although 
covered  with  dirt  from  exploding  shells.  Continuing,  he 
says: 

There  were  about  eight  of  us,  the  orderly  and  myself, 
the  lieutenant-doctor  in  charge,  and  three  or  four  old 
brancardiers,  who,  when  they  ate  their  soup  made  more 
noise  than  the  shells.  After  every  few  spoonfuls,  to 
avoid  waste,  they  poked  their  mustaches  in  their  mouths 
and  sucked  them  loudly. 

During  the  evening  the  firing  became  steady  on  both 
sides,  the  French  battery  pouring  their  shells,  which 
whistled  over  our  dugout.  We  went  to  bed,  secure  in 
this  iron  cylinder,  whose  great  ribs  stood  like  the  flesh- 
less  carcass  of  a  beast,  which  to  destroy  would  be  a 
worthless  task.  A  stump  of  a  candle  lay  wrapped  in 
our  blankets  in  the  bunks.  It  was  rather  comfortable, 
except  that  my  bed  was  crossed  at  the  top  by  a  piece  of 
iron  just  where  my  head  lay. 


108       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

All  through  the  night  there  was  a  continuous  commo- 
tion in  the  dugout,  the  brancardiers  running  around  and 
talking  in  loud  voices  about  things  we  were  too  sleepy 
to  understand.  We  had  no  blesses  during  the  night  (an 
exceptional  thing — this  morning  they  had  fifty  from  one 
post)  and  were  relieved  about  half-past  ten  the  next 
morning.  I  returned  to  the  large  town,  where  our  can- 
tonment had  been  changed  to  another  quarter  of  the 
village. 

This  is  an  exceptionally  fine  cantonment  and  was  re- 
cently occupied  by  the  British  Ambulance,  whose  place 
we  have  taken.  I  think  it  was  originally  an  officers' 
barracks.  Two  low  cement  buildings,  faced  with  red 
brick  and  roofed  with  red  tile,  stand  on  one  side,  and 
opposite  these  are  the  stables,  used  by  the  "Genies." 
In  front  of  the  houses  are  some  trees  and  grass.  Each 
house  (one  story  in  height)  is  divided  into  four  parts, 
accessible  by  four  doors. 

Jim,  Rogers,  and  I  have  one  room  to  ourselves  off  the 
third  hallway  and  in  front.  There  are  three  other  rooms 
accessible  by  the  same  hallway.  It  is  almost  like  a 
separate  house,  as  each  division  has  its  flight  of  steps 
before  the  door  and  there  is  a  main  sidewalk  running 
under  all  the  front  windows.  We  have  our  three 
stretchers  on  the  floor,  two  cupboards,  a  broken  mirror, 
and  two  camp-stools.  We  keep  our  trunks,  etc.,  right  in 
the  room  and  it  saves  transferring  them  every  trip  to  the 
posts.  There  is  a  large  French  window  with  blue  shut- 
ters. We  certainly  are  comfortably  located.  There  are 
no  showers  after  all  (we  had  expected  two),  except  one 
that  is  broken,  and  we  wash  from  our  bidons  (canteens) 
with  a  sponge,  which  is  almost  as  good. 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        109 

Jim  and  Rogers  came  back  yesterday  shortly  before  I 
did.  They  had  both  been  to  the  same  post,  the  second 
one,  and  been  caught  in  a  gas-attack  which  lasted  for  an 
hour.  They  sat  in  the  abri  with  their  masks  on  (the 
masks  are  a  greenish  color,  with  two  big  round  windows 
for  the  eyes)  and,  of  course,  with  the  helmets,  the  abri 
was  crowded,  and  from  their  description  they  must  have 
looked  like  so  many  big  beetles  crouching  together. 
There  is  absolutely  no  danger  with  the  masks,  however, 
and  we  carry  one  always  with  us  (even  in  town)  and 
one  fastened  in  the  car. 

Last  evening  we  went  out  into  a  field  and  read  Jane 
Austen's  "Emma"  out  loud.  Jim  and  Rog  left  this 
morning  for  the  posts  and  I  go  tomorrow. 

Of  the  routine  work  of  the  ambulance  driver  he 
writes : 

On  account  of  the  night  driving  we  have  lately  put 
two  men  on  each  car,  a  driver  and  an  orderly  who  just 
goes  back  and  forth  between  the  posts.  Five  cars  are 
out  every  day  and  eight  drivers.  Three  cars  begin  at 
the  posts  and  two  wait  in  the  woods.  As  a  car  comes  in 
from  a  post,  another  is  sent  out  from  the  woods  and 
this  driver  takes  with  him  the  orderly  who  has  just 
come  in,  as  only  one  man  is  necessary  to  make  the  trip 
from  the  woods  to  the  hospital.  From  the  hospital  the 
latter  returns  to  the  woods,  and  thus  a  relay  is  formed. 
The  day  before  yesterday  I  was  at  post  1 ;  yesterday 
(beginning  at  noon),  I  was  en  repos  for  the  day;  today 
I  am  en  r emplacement,  that  is  practically  the  same  as 
repose,  but  if  any  extra  cars  are  wanted  in  case  of  an 
attack,  etc.,  we  have  to  be  within  call.  I  am  fourth  in 
the  list  and  don't  expect  to  go  out.     Tomorrow  I  go  in 


110       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

my  own  car,  next  day  repose,  next  day  as  orderly  to  post 
3,  next  day  repose,  etc.  The  work  is  as  interesting  as 
ever. 

In  another  letter  which  The  Free  Press  prints  Mr. 
Low  tells  of  a  battle  between  airplanes  directly  over  his 
head.  The  engagement  ended  with  the  winging  of  both 
machines.    The  letter  reads : 

The  German  machine  fell  between  the  lines,  the 
French  plane  near  one  of  our  posts.  There  was  a  terrific 
fight,  which  we  could  hardly  see,  as  it  was  very  high  in 
the  air.  The  French  plane  caught  on  fire  and  began 
to  fall.  After  some  meters  it  was  entirely  enveloped  in 
smoke  and  the  three  aviators  had  to  jump,  which  was  a 
quicker  death.  When  they  were  found,  parts  of  their 
bodies  had  been  burned  away. 

Just  before  this  the  first  German  shell  fell  in  our 
cantonment.  It  was  about  half-past  seven  in  the  morn- 
ing and  we  were  all  asleep  when  we  heard  the  rush  and 
explosion  of  an  obus.  It  struck  about  two  meters  from 
the  barracks  and  made  a  large  hole  in  the  road.  Three 
shells  usually  fall  in  one  place,  but  no  other  followed. 

For  a  day  of  repose  it  certainly  was  disturbing. 

Yesterday  I  had  a  hot  shower  at  the  hospital  near 
here.  It  certainly  seemed  good,  after  bathing  for  two 
months  out  of  a  small  reserve  water  can. 

This  morning  we  are  at  the  second  post.  Before  the 
war  there  were  really  enough  houses  to  call  it  a  small 
town,  but  it  has  been  so  completely  destroyed  that  only 
stumps  of  the  buildings  remain.  Batteries  have  been 
planted  all  about  it,  and  at  present  they  are  receiving  a 
heavy  shelling  from  the  Germans. 

Mr.  Low  seems  to  possess  an  excellent  nervous  organ- 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        111 

ization  and  a  dependable  imagination  which  he  finds 
quite  useful.    He  says : 

We  are  kept  in  the  dugout,  which,  provided  with 
chairs  and  a  table,  is  very  comfortable.  It  is  rather 
pleasant  to  be  securely  seated  here  with  books  and 
listening  to  the  "rush"  of  the  shells  overhead.  It  is  like 
being  before  a  grate  fire  and  listening  to  a  winter's  storm 
outside.  As  long  as  no  blesses  are  brought  in  we  can 
sit  here  and  warm  our  feet  until  the  storm  is  over.  Our 
beds  are  all  made  on  the  stretchers  (placed  high  enough 
to  keep  out  the  rats),  and  we  intend  to  spend  a  pleasant 
afternoon  reading.  I  have  Rog's  Shakespeare,  and  I  am 
reading  "Cymbeline.,, 

We  have  just  had  lunch — hot  meat,  lentils,  camem- 
bert,  and  the  inevitable  Pinard.  The  bombardment  has 
nearly  died  away,  so  we  can  sit  out  a  while  and  enjoy 
a  very  delightful  August  day.  This  post  is  reached  by 
an  old  Roman  road,  which  is  rather  badly  torn  up. 
They  have  just  put  up  a  screen  of  burlap  to  conceal  it 
from  the  saucisses;  that  is,  to  hide  the  traffic  on  it,  for 
the  German  gunners  know  where  every  road  lies. 

(Later)  A  young  fellow  of  about  nineteen  was  just 
carried  in.  He  was  at  the  battery  post  a  few  meters 
behind  us  and  became  half-crazed  by  the  shells  during 
the  bombardment.  It  is  quite  a  common  occurrence, 
especially  with  the  men  in  the  trenches.  The  French 
call  it  commotion,  and  the  mind  becomes  so  stunned  that 
often  they  lose  their  speech  or  become  totally  stupid. 
The  lieutenant  said  that  this  was  a  bad  case  and  that 
if  another  shell  fell  near  the  man  he  would  go  mad.  He 
asked  us  to  take  the  fellow  back  to  the  hospital  as  soon  as 
possible,  and  I  had  to  ride  in  the  back  of  the  ambulance 


112       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

with  him  all  the  way  to  keep  him  quiet.  Fortunately  no 
shells  came  near  the  car. 

After  supper  we  sat  near  the  edge  of  the  road  and 
watched  two  or  three  battalions  pass  by  on  their  way 
to  the  trenches.  The  road  filled  with  carts  and  supply 
wagons  as  soon  as  the  saucisses  descended.  These 
vehicles  travel  between  towns  in  the  rear  to  a  communi- 
cation trench  a  little  beyond  our  post,  a  point  which  is  a 
terminus  for  all  traffic.  From  there  the  ammunition  and 
supplies  are  carried  to  the  trenches  by  hand. 

There  is  a  little  railroad  running  from  that  point, 
beyond  our  post;  horses  pulling  small  flat  cars  loaded 
with  wood,  barbed  wire,  etc.,  for  the  trenches.  A  young 
poilu,  standing  up  and  waving  his  arms,  came  spinning 
down  the  hill  in  an  empty  car.  He  nearly  caused  a 
collision  and  I  never  saw  a  man  so  yelled  and  screamed 
at  as  this  one  was  by  his  sergeant.  The  officer  scolded 
him  for  a  quarter  of  an  hour  and  shouted  himself  hoarse : 
"Quelle  bethel" 

About  nine  we  went  down  into  the  abri,  lighted  a 
candle  on  the  table,  and  read  until  about  ten,  when  a  man 
burst  through  the  door,  shouting: 

"Gaz!  Gaz!  M.  Medecin!"  and  dashed  out  again. 
The  medecin  went  outside,  and,  returning,  told  us  to 
have  our  masks  ready,  that  gas  was  coming  over  the  hill 
and  blowing  in  our  direction.  We  waited  about  ten 
minutes  and  heard  the  alarm  bell  ring — a  signal  to  warn 
that  a  gas  attack  is  near.  We  sat  waiting  with  our 
masks  at  our  elbows,  but  the  wind  carried  the  gas  in 
another  direction  and  we  did  not  have  to  use  them. 

These  attacks  are  frequent,  but  not  dangerous;  as  at 
every  hour  of  the  day  a  man  stands  in  the  first  line 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES       113 

trench  (with  a  bell  at  his  side)  to  give  warning  of  gas. 
The  masks  that  we  always  carry  at  our  belts  are  posi- 
tive guards  against  any  sort  of  gas. 

We  read  until  twelve  and  then  went  to  bed,  lucky  in 
having  only  one  trip  through  the  day. 


HELPING  HIS  WIFE  OUT 

An  officer  was  surprised  one  day  when  searching  the 
letters  of  his  detachment  to  read  in  one  of  them  a  pas- 
sage that  was  something  like  this : 

"We  have  just  got  out  of  shell-fire  for  the  first  time 
for  two  months.  It  has  been  a  hard  time.  The  Ger- 
mans were  determined  to  take  our  field  bakery,  but,  by 
gee !  we  would  not  let  them.  We  killed  them  in  thou- 
sands." 

This  was  a  letter  from  one  of  the  bakers  to  his  wife. 
None  of  the  detachment  had  been  a  mile  from  the 
base,  and  they  had  never  seen  a  German,  except  as  a 
prisoner.  My  friend  knew  the  writer  well,  and  could 
not  help  (although  it  was  none  of  his  business)  asking 
him  why  he  told  such  terrible  lies  to  his  poor  wife.  The 
soldier  said: 

"It's  quite  true  what  you  say,  but  it's  like  this,  sir. 
When  my  wife  and  the  wives  of  the  other  men  in  the 
place  where  I  live  are  talking  it  all  over  in  the  morning 
I  couldn't  think  to  let  her  have  nothing  to  say  and  the 
others  all  bragging  about  what  their  men  had  done  with 
the  Germans.    That's  the  way  of  it,  sir." 


MEET  TOMMY,  D.  G.  MEDAL  MAN 

T  F  WAR  is  not  a  great  leveler — and  we  have  been  told 
•**  numberless  times  that  it  is — it  is  certainly  the  Great 
American  Mixer,  and  Camp  Upton,  L.  I.,  is  probably  the 
best  example  extant  thereof,  so  to  speak.  The  Bowery 
boy  and  the  millionaire  rub  elbows — you  have  probably 
heard  that  before,  but  it  is  nevertheless  true — and  the 
owners  of  Long  Island  show  places  sleep  in  cots  next 
to  their  former  gardeners.  But  probably  the  most  inter- 
esting character  at  Camp  Upton  is  the  barber  who  was 
at  one  time  a  sergeant  in  the  British  Flying  Corps,  and 
wears  the  King's  Distinguished  Conduct  Medal — that 
is,  he  probably  would  wear  it  if  he  hadn't  left  it  at 
"  'ome  in  a  box."    The  New  York  Sun  says : 

Down  on  the  muster  pay  roll  the  D.  C.  medal  man  is 
Harry  Booton,  but  over  in  the  304th  Field  Artillery's 
headquarters  company  barracks  they  call  him  Ben 
Welch,  the  Jewish  comedian.  But  for  all  that  his  real 
name  is  Ortheris,  who  even  Kipling  himself  thought  had 
lain  dead  these  twenty  years  and  more  in  the  hill  country 
of  India.  And  for  the  brand  of  service  for  his  reincar- 
nation he  has  chosen  the  artillery — the  bloomin',  bloody 
artillery  that  he  used  to  hate  so  much  when  he  and  Mul- 
vaney  were  wearing  the  infantry  uniform  of  the  little  old 
Widow  of  Windsor. 

London  cockney  he  was  then,  a  quarter  of  a  century 
ago,  and  London  cockney  he  is  today.  And  if  there  be 
some  who  say  his  name  is  not  really  Ortheris,  let  it  be 
114 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES       115 

stated  that  names  are  of  small  moment  after  all.  It's 
the  heart  that  counts — and  the  heart  of  this  under-sized 
little  Jewish  cockney  is  the  heart  of  Kipling's  hero — and 
the  soul  is  his  and  the  tale  is  his.  And  instead  of  telling 
his  yarn  to  Mulvaney  he  now  tells  it  to  an  Italian  barber 
they  call  Eddie  rather  than  his  own  gentle  name  of 
Gasualdi. 

From  Headquarters  Hill,  where  the  Old  Man  With  the 
Two  Stars  looks  out  and  down  on  his  great  melting-pot 
that's  cooking  up  this  stirring  army  of  freedom,  you 
walk  a  half  mile  or  so  west  until  you  stumble  on  Rookie 
Roose  J  18,  where  the  headquarters  company  and  the 
band  of  the  304th  Field  Artillery  play  and  sing  and 
sleep  and  work.  In  one  corner  of  the  low,  black-walled 
washroom  nestling  next  the  big  pine  barracks,  Eddie 
the  Barber  lathers,  shaves,  and  clips  hair  for  I.  O.  U.'s 
when  he  isn't  busy  soldiering.  And  into  Eddie's  ears 
come  stories  of  girls  back  home  and  yarns  of  mighty 
drinking  bouts  of  other  days,  and  even  tales  of  strange 
lands  and  wars  and  cabbages  and  kings.  Eddie  is  the 
confidant  of  headquarters  company. 

If  you  stand  around  on  one  foot  and  then  another  long 
enough,  and  add  a  bit  now  and  then  to  the  gaiety  of  the 
nations  represented  in  Eddie's  home  concocted  tonsorial 
parlor  you'll  hear  some  of  these  wild  yarns  pass  uninter- 
rupted from  the  right  to  the  left  ear  of  Eddie.  And  if 
you're  lucky  you  may  even  hear  the  tale  of  the  D.  C. 
medal — and  the  five  wounds,  and  the  torpedoed  bark, 
and  the  time  the  King's  hand  was  kissed,  and  all  from 
the  lips  of  Ortheris,  alias  Harry  C.  Booton,  alias  Ben 
Welch. 

And  so,  if  you  will  kindly  make  way  for  the  hero, 


116       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

whose  medal  is  "at  ome  in  me  box/' — but  who  did  not 
forget  to  bring  his  cockney  accent  along,  to  which  he  has 
added  a  dash  of  the  Bowery — you  may  listen  to  the  tale 
that  was  told  to  the  Sun  man : 

"I  was  boined  down  in  Whitechapel,  Lunnon,  and  me 
ole  man  died  seventeen  years  ago  in  the  Boer  War/'  the 
tongue  of  Harry  began  his  tale:  "  'E  was  a  soger  under 
'Mackey'  McKenzie,  and  'e  was  kilt  over  in  Sout  Af ricey. 
Well,  when  Hingland  goes  into  this  war  I  says  to  meself 
I'll  join  out  to  an'  do  me  bit,  an'  so  I  done  wit'  the  Lun- 
non  Fusileers,  and  after  two  or  three  months  trainin'  we 
was  sint  to  Anthwerp,  but  we  didn't  stop  there  very  long. 

"Then  we  fights  in  the  battle  of  Mons  and  Lille — I 
don't  know  how  you  spells  that  Lille,  but  I  think  it's 
4L-i-l' — or  somethin'  loik  that.  Well,  in  the  battle  of 
Mons  I  gets  blowed  up.  Funny  about  that.  You  see,  a 
Jack  Johnson  comes  along  and  buries  me,  all  except  me 
bloomin'  feet,  and  then  I  gets  plugged  through  both  legs 
with  a  rifle  bullet  and  I'm  in  the  hospital  for  a  month. 
When  I  gets  out  I'm  transferred  to  the  Royal  Flying 
Corps  and  I  goes  to  the  Hendon  or  sumthin'  loike  that 
aereodrome  up  Mill  Hill  way,  fur  trainin'.  You  see,  I 
was  a  stige  electrician  in  the  Yiddish  teaters  on  the  Edg- 
ware  road,  and  knowin'  things  like  that  I  was  mide  a 
helper  and  learnt  all  about  flying  machines." 

The  b-r-r-r-r-r  of  an  airplane — the  first  one  to  fly  over 
the  camp — caused  Henry's  ear  to  cock  for  a  second  and 
then  a  smile  to  pop  out  of  his  face. 

"  'Ere's  one  of  the  bloomin'  things  now,"  he  went  on. 
"Well,  I  was  made  a  sergeant  an'  arfter  a  bad  bomin'  of 
Lunnon  by  the  Fritzes  six  of  us  machines  was  sent  to 
pay  compliments  to  the  Germans. 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES       117 

"It  was  dark  and  cold  and  nasty  when  we  started  out 
to  attack  Frederickshaven  and  give  'em  some  of  their 
own  medicine. 

"Three  hundred  miles  we  flies  an'  I'd  dropped  eight- 
een of  my  nineteen  bums — you  see  I  was  riding  with 
Sergeant-Major  Flemming — when  they  opens  up  on  us 
with  their  antiguns  and  five  of  us  flops  down,  blazin' 
and  tumblin'.  Then  somethin'  hits  me  back  and  some- 
thin'  else  stings  me  arm  and  then  I  felt  her  wabble  and 
flop.  I  glances  behind  and  my  sergeant  is  half  fallin' 
out  and  just  as  he  tumbled  I  mikes  a  grab  for  'im.  'E 
was  right  behint  me  and  so  as  to  right  the  machine  I 
grips  him  with  me  teeth  in  his  leather  breetches  and 
then  I  throws  'im  back  and  swings  into  his  seat  and 
tramps  on  the  pedal  for  rising.  Up  we  goes  to  9,000 
feet,  but  it  was  too  bloomin'  cold  up  there,  so  I  come 
down  some  and  points  back  for  Hingland. 

"The  sergeant  'e  were  there  with  me,  and  I  was  glad 
efen  if  'e  had  been  kilt  dead.  You  wouldn't  want  'im 
back  there  with  them  Booches — 'im  my  pal  and  my 
sergeant.     I  wasn't  going  to  let  the  Booches  have  'im. 

"More'n  300  miles  I  had  to  fly — 6  degrees  it  were— 
when  I  caught  Queensborough,  and  then  I  come  down. 
Funny  about  that — just  as  soon  as  I  'it  the  ground  I 
fainted  loike  a  bloomin'  lidy. 

"An'  I  was  up  in  a  Hinglish  'ospital  in  Lunnon  when 
I  come  to  a  couple  of  d'ys  after.  An'  I  wykes  a  bloomin' 
'ero,  and  the  King  'e  sends  for  me  an'  some  other  'eroes, 
and  we  all  goes  to  Buckingham  Palace,  and  'is  Majesty 
the  King  and  Queen  Mary  and  a  'ole  bloomin'  mess  of 
them  bloomin'  dooks  and  lydies  comes  and  the  King  pins 
the  medal  on  me.    Me  a  'ero  with  a  D.  C.  medal.    And 


118       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

now  I'm  warin'  this  bloomin'  kiki-ki  and  hopin'  to  get 
another  crack  at  Kaiser  Bill  and  Fritz  the  sauerkraut." 

The  'ero  was  finally  invalided  out  of  service  and 
ordered  to  the  munitions  factories  in  northern  England. 
Having  no  inclination  for  this  work,  he  stowed  away  on 
the  Swedish  bark  Arendale,  which  was  torpedoed  when 
fifteen  days  out  from  London.  He  was  picked  up  by  the 
Dutch  steamship  Leander  and  finally  landed  in  New 
Orleans.    The  Sun  continues : 

Then  Harry  came  to  New  York  a  little  over  a  year 
ago  and  made  his  abode  at  157  Rivington  street.  By 
day  he  worked  in  a  A-Z  Motion  Picture  Supply  Com- 
pany, 72  Hester  street,  and  by  night  he  told  brave  tales 
of  war  and  sang  snatches  of  opera  that  he  had  learned 
behind  the  scenes  in  London. 

Then  came  America's  entrance  into  the  Great  War 
and  the  selective  service  examination.  At  Board  109 
Harry  demanded  that  although  he  was  a  British  sub- 
j  ect  he  be  allowed  to  go.  And  after  considerable  scratch- 
ing of  heads  the  members  of  Board  109  decided  to  ship 
Harry  to  Camp  Upton  with  the  first  increment  on  Sep- 
tember 10,  and  what  was  more,  to  make  him  the  squad 
leader  on  the  trip. 

"Salute  me,  ya  bloomin'  woodchopper,"  Harry,  ex- 
Tommy  Atkins,  shouted  in  derision  at  some  lowly  pri- 
vate who  ventured  to  try  a  light  remark.  "Hain't  I 
yer  superior?  Hain't  I  actin'  corporal?  Hain't  I  goin' 
to  be  a  sergeant-major?    Awsk  me — hain't  I?" 

And  the  answer  was  decidedly  and  emphatically  yes. 
And  power  to  ye,  Harry  Booton — medal  or  no  medal. 


GERMAN  FALCON  KILLED  IN  AIR-DUEL 

THE  old  days  when  armies  ceased  fighting  to  watch 
their  two  champions  in  single  combat  have  come 
back  again.  It  was  on  the  Western  front,  and  the  en- 
gagement that  resulted  in  the  death  of  Immelman  the 
Falcon,  Germany's  most  distinguished  Ace,  was  in  very 
truth  a  duel — no  chance  meeting  of  men  determined  to 
slay  one  another,  but  a  formally  arranged  encounter, 
following  a  regular  challenge,  and  fought  by  prear- 
rangement  and  without  interference.  The  battle  was 
witnessed  with  breathless  interest  by  the  men  of  both 
armies  crouched  in  the  trenches,  separated  by  only  a 
few  feet  of  No  Man's  Land,  while  the  fire  of  the  anti- 
aircraft guns  on  both  sides  was  stilled. 

The  victor  in  the  spectacular  fight  was  Captain  Ball, 
the  youthful  English  pilot  who  has  only  two  notches  less 
en  the  frame  of  his  fighting  machine  than  had  the  Falcon, 
who  was  credited  with  fifty-one  "downs."  The  story  of 
the  duel,  which  was  declared  to  have  been  one  of  the 
most  sensational  events  of  the  war,  is  told  in  a  letter 
written  by  Col.  William  Macklin,  of  the  Canadian 
troops,  to  a  friend  in  Newark,  N.  J.  Colonel  Macklin, 
who  was  one  of  the  eye-witnesses  of  the  fight,  writes  in 
his  letter,  which  is  printed  in  the  New  York  Tribune: 

One  morning  Captain  Ball,  who  was  behind  our  sector, 
heard  that  Immelman  the  Falcon  was  opposite. 

"This  is  the  chance  I've  been  waiting  for;  I'm  going 
to  get  him/'  declared  Ball. 

119 


120       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

Friends  tried  to  dissuade  him,  saying  the  story  of 
Immelman's  presence  probably  was  untrue.  Ball  would 
not  listen. 

Getting  into  his  machine,  he  flew  over  the  German 
lines  and  dropped  a  note  which  read : 

"Captain  Immelman:  I  challenge  you  to  a  man-to- 
man fight,  to  take  place  this  afternoon  at  two  o'clock. 
I  will  meet  you  over  the  German  lines.  Have  your  anti- 
aircraft guns  withhold  their  fire  while  we  decide  which 
is  the  better  man.    The  British  guns  will  be  silent. 

"Ball." 

About  an  hour  afterward,  a  German  aviator  swung  out 
across  our  lines.  Immelman's  answer  came.  Translated 
it  read : 

"Captain  Ball:  Your  challenge  is  accepted.  The 
German  guns  will  not  interfere.  I  will  meet  you  promptly 
at  two.  "Immelman." 

Just  a  few  minutes  before  two  o'clock  the  guns  on 
both  sides  ceased  firing.  It  was  as  though  the  command- 
ing officers  had  ordered  a  truce.  Long  rows  of  heads 
popped  up  and  all  eyes  watched  Ball  from  behind  the 
British  lines  shoot  off  and  into  the  air.  A  minute  or  two 
later  Immelman's  machine  was  seen  across  No  Man's 
Land. 

The  letter  describes  the  tail  of  the  German  machine 
as  painted  red  "to  represent  the  British  and  French 
blood  it  had  spilled,"  while  Ball's  had  a  streak  of  black 
paint  to  represent  the  mourning  for  his  victims.  The 
machines  ascended  in  a  wide  circle,  and  then : 

From  our  trenches  there  were  wild  cheers  for  Ball. 
The  Germans  yelled  just  as  vigorously  for  Immelman. 

The  cheers  from  the  trenches  continued.     The  Ger- 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES       121 

mans'  increased  in  volume ;  ours  changed  into  cries  of 
alarm. 

Ball,  thousands  of  feet  above  us  and  only  a  speck  in 
the  sky,  was  doing  the  craziest  things  imaginable.  He 
was  below  Immelman  and  was,  apparently,  making  no 
effort  to  get  above  him,  thus  gaining  the  advantage  of 
position.  Rather  he  was  swinging  around,  this  way  and 
that,  attempting,  it  seemed,  to  postpone  the  inevitable. 

We  saw  the  German's  machine  dip  over  preparatory 
to  starting  the  nose  dive. 

"He's  gone  now,"  sobbed  a  young  soldier  at  my  side, 
for  he  knew  Immelman's  gun  would  start  its  raking  fire 
once  it  was  being  driven  straight  down. 

Then,  in  the  fraction  of  a  second,  the  tables  were 
turned.  Before  Immelman's  plane  could  get  into  firing 
position,  Ball  drove  his  machine  into  a  loop,  getting 
above  his  adversary  and  cutting  loose  with  his  gun  and 
smashing  Immelman  by  a  hail  of  bullets  as  he  swept  by. 

Immelman's  airplane  burst  into  flames  and  dropped. 
Ball,  from  above,  followed  for  a  few  hundred  feet  and 
then  straightened  out  and  raced  for  home.  He  settled 
down,  rose  again,  hurried  back,  and  released  a  huge 
wreath  of  flowers  almost  directly  over  the  spot  where 
Immelman's  charred  body  was  being  lifted  from  a 
tangled  mass  of  metal. 

Four  days  later  Ball,  too,  was  killed.  He  attacked 
single-handed  four  Germans.  He  had  shot  one  down 
and  was  pursuing  the  other  three  when  two  machines 
dropped  from  behind  the  clouds  and  closed  in  on  him. 
He  was  pocketed  and  was  killed — but  not  until  he  had 
shot  down  two  more  of  the  enemy. 


HE  TAUGHT  THE  "TANK"  TO  PROWL 
AND  SLAY 

ALONG  with  many  other  things  with  finer  names,  for 
which  credit  is  due  him,  Col.  E.  D.  Swinton,  of  the 
British  Royal  Engineers,  will  go  down  in  history  as  the 
father  of  the  tank,  that  modern  war  monster  and  engine 
of  destruction  which  made  its  professional  debut  on  the 
Somme  battlefield  and  which  did  such  effective  work  in 
French  and  British  drives. 

Colonel  Swinton  is  a  pleasant,  mild-mannered  gentle- 
man, the  last  person  in  the  world  one  would  expect  to 
bear  any  relationship  to  the  tank.  In  fact,  the  virtue  of 
modesty  in  him  is  so  well  developed  that  he  refuses  to 
accept  all  the  glory,  and  insists  upon  sharing  the 
parental  honors  with  an  American,  Benjamin  Holt,  in- 
ventor of  the  tractor. 

"I  don't  mean  that  the  Holt  tractor  is  the  tank  by 
any  means,"  he  says,  "but  without  the  Holt  tractor  there 
very  probably  would  not  have  been  any  tank." 

Arthur  D.  Howden  Smith,  writing  in  the  New  York 
Evening  Post,  declares : 

It  is  practically  impossible  to  get  Colonel  Swinton  to 
admit  outright  that  he  is  the  parent  of  the  tank;  yet 
father  it  he  did,  and  he  was  also  the  first  captain  of  the 
tanks  in  the  British  Army ;  he  organized  the  tank  unit  in 
France,  and  he  launched  the  loathly  brood  of  his  off- 
spring in  their  initial  victory  on  the  Somme  battlefield. 
If  any  man  knows  the  tank,  he  does,  for  he  created  it  and 
tamed  it  and  taught  it  how  to  prowl  and  slay. 

122 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        123 

Colonel  Swinton  began  to  think  about  tanks  several 
years  before  Austria  sent  her  ultimatum  to  Servia,  but 
he  is  scrupulously  careful  to  say  that  many  men  were 
thinking  more  or  less  vaguely  along  the  same  lines  at 
the  same  time.  Indeed,  the  proposal  of  the  tank  as  an 
engine  for  neutralizing  the  effect  of  machine  gun  fire 
was  actually  made  by  two  sets  of  men,  one  to  the  War 
Office  and  one  to  the  Admiralty,  and  neither  group  was 
aware  that  the  other  was  working  along  the  same  lines. 
Still,  we  may  believe  unprejudiced  testimony  which  gives 
to  Colonel  Swinton  the  principal  credit  for  convincing 
the  higher  authorities  in  London  that  mobile  land-forts 
were  practicable. 

"In  July,  1914,  I  heard  that  Mr.  Benjamin  Holt,  of 
Peoria,  111.,  had  invented  a  tractor  which  possessed  the 
ability  to  make  its  way  across  rugged  and  uneven 
ground,"  he  stated.  "But  several  years  before  that  a 
plan  for  a  military  engine  practically  identical  with  the 
tank  had  been  sketched  upon  paper,  when  a  tractor  of 
another  make  was  tried  out  in  England.  That  first  plan 
came  to  nothing.    We  weren't  ready  for  it  then. 

"The  reports  of  the  Holt  tractor  served  to  stimulate 
my  interest  in  the  idea  all  over  again,  and  when  I  went 
to  France  with  Lord  French  in  August,  1914,  and  saw 
what  modern  warfare  was  like,  I  became  convinced  that 
an  armored  car,  capable  of  being  independent  of  roads 
and  of  traversing  any  terrane  to  attack  fortified  posi- 
tions, was  a  necessity  for  the  offensive." 

The  Colonel,  with  a  quizzical  smile,  here  called  atten- 
tion to  the  fact  that  the  principal  German  weapon  of 
slaughter  was  the  invention  of  an  American — Hiram 
Maxim — and  he  thought  it  quite  fitting  that  the  weapon 


124       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

to  combat  it  should  be  credited,  at  least  in  part,  to  the 
American  inventor  of  the  tractor.    Continuing,  he  said : 

"By  October,  1914, 1  had  a  fair  conception  of  the  kind 
of  engine  which  might  be  relied  upon  to  neutralize  the 
growing  German  power  in  machine  guns,  combined  with 
the  most  elaborate  fortifications  ever  built  on  a  grand 
scale.  You  see,  their  fire  ascendency  in  the  meantime 
had  enabled  them  to  dig  in  with  their  usual  thoroughness. 
In  October  I  returned  to  England  to  try  to  interest  the 
authorities  at  the  War  Office  in  my  idea.  I  had  my 
troubles,  but  I  did  not  have  as  many  troubles  as  I  might 
have  had,  because  other  men  of  their  own  accord  were 
working  along  the  same  lines. 

"You  must  get  this  very  straight,  mind.  Whatever 
credit  there  may  be  for  inventing  the  tanks  belongs  not 
to  any  one  man,  but  to  many  men — exactly  how  many 
nobody  knows.  It  is  even  rather  unfair  to  mention  any 
names,  my  own  as  well  as  those  of  others.  For,  besides 
those  men  who  actually  worked  to  perfect  the  tanks, 
there  were  others  who  had  conceived  very  similar  ideas. 

"Still  another  proof  of  the  plurality  of  tank  inventors 
is  the  fact  that  while  one  group  of  us  were  endeavoring 
to  interest  the  War  Office  in  the  idea,  another  group  of 
men,  entirely  ignorant  of  what  we  were  doing,  were  try- 
ing to  get  the  Admiralty  to  take  up  a  similar  line  of  ex- 
perimentation. And  it  is  no  more  than  fair  to  point  out 
that  the  first  money  provided  for  experimentation  with 
landships,  as  we  called  them,  came  from  Winston  Spen- 
cer Churchill,  then  First  Lord  of  the  Admiralty.  But 
he  was  only  one  of  a  number  of  men  who  played  parts 
in  the  development  of  the  finished  engine.  For  example, 
there  were  two  men  in  particular  who  worked  out  the 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        125 

mechanical  problems.  I  wish  I  could  give  you  their 
names,  but  I  cannot." 

To  the  suggestion  of  the  writer  in  The  Post  that  it 
seemed  strange  that  so  many  minds  should  have  been 
working  out  the  same  idea  at  the  same  time,  Colonel 
Swinton  replied  emphatically: 

"Not  when  you  consider  the  situation.  The  tank, 
after  all,  is  merely  an  elaboration,  the  last  word,  of 
military  devices  as  old  as  the  history  of  military  engi- 
neering. Its  ancestors  were  the  armored  automobile, 
the  belfry  or  siege  tower  on  wheels  of  the  middle  ages, 
and  the  Roman  testudo.  The  need  for  the  tank  became 
apparent  to  many  who  studied  the  military  problems 
demonstrated  on  the  Western  front.  That  is  often  so  in 
the  history  of  inventions,  you  know.  A  given  problem 
occupies  many  minds  simultaneously,  and  generally 
several  reach  a  solution  about  the  same  time,  even  though 
perhaps  one  receives  the  credit  for  the  invention  above 
all  the  others." 

"You  spoke  about  the  mechanical  problems  of  the 
tanks.    What  were  they?" 

"Ah,  there  you  are  getting  on  delicate  ground.  I  am 
glad  to  tell  you  all  I  can  about  the  tanks,  but  I  can't 
describe  them — not  beyond  a  certain  point,  that  is.  I 
will  say  just  this — the  peculiar  original  feature  of  them, 
upon  which  their  efficiency  most  depends,  is  the  construc- 
tion of  their  trackage.  It  is  the  feature  which  enables 
them  not  only  to  negotiate  rough  and  broken  ground,  but 
to  surmount  obstacles  and  knock  down  trees  and  houses. 
But  the  full  description  of  the  tanks  cannot  be  written 
until  after  the  war." 

Colonel  Swinton  described  the  uproarious  mirth  of  the 


126       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

British  infantry  on  that  morning  when  they  had  their 
first  sight  of  the  unwieldy  tanks  clambering  over 
trenches,  hills,  small  forests,  and  houses,  spitting  flames 
as  they  rolled,  lolloping  forward  like  huge  armored  mon- 
sters of  the  prehistoric  past. 

"It  gave  our  men  quite  a  moral  lift,"  he  said.  "They 
forgot  their  troubles.  But  they  soon  came  to  see  that 
the  tanks  were  more  than  funny,  for  wherever  they  at- 
tacked the  infantry  had  comparative  immunity  from 
machine  gun  fire,  and  it  is  the  German  machine  gun  fire 
which  always  has  been  the  principal  obstacle  for  our 
troops." 

The  name  of  the  tank  Colonel  Swinton  explained  was 
originally  a  bit  of  camouflage.  People  who  saw  them 
in  the  process  of  erection  variously  described  them  as 
snowplows  for  the  Russian  front  and  water  tanks  for  the 
armies  in  Egypt.  »The  latter  name  stuck.  And  it  may 
not  be  generally  known  that  this  mechanical  beast  of 
war  is  divided  into  two  sexes. 

"Some  tanks  are  armed  with  small  guns  firing  shells," 
said  Colonel  Swinton.  "These  are  used  especially 
against  machine  gun  nests.  They  are  popularly  known 
in  the  tank  unit  as  males.  Other  tanks  carry  machine 
guns  and  are  intended  primarily  for  use  against  enemy 
infantry.  They  are  the  females.  Tliere  is  no  difference 
in  the  construction." 

Colonel  Swinton  was  detailed  from  his  post  in  the 
British  War  Cabinet  to  act  as  assistant  to  Lord  Reading 
in  his  mission  to  the  United  States  to  tighten  the  bonds 
of  efficiency  between  the  two  countries  in  their  war 
programs. 

During  the  fall  of  1914,  Colonel  Swinton  was  the 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        127 

English  official  eye-witness  of  the  fighting  in  Flanders 
and  France.  Before  that  he  was  perhaps  best  known  to 
the  general  public  as  a  writer  of  romances  in  which  was 
skillfully  woven  the  technique  of  war.  One  of  his 
stories,  "The  Defense  of  Duffer's  Drift,"  is  used  as  a 
text-book  at  West  Point. 


NOT  A  SELF-STARTER 

"Sam,  you  ought  to  get  in  the  aviation  service,"  a 
Chicago  man  told  a  negro  last  week.  "You  are  a  good 
mechanic  and  would  come  in  handy  in  an  aeroplane. 
How  would  you  like  to  fly  among  the  clouds  a  mile  high 
and  drop  a  few  bombs  down  on  the  Germans  ?" 

"I  ain't  in  no  special  hurry  to  fly,  Cap,"  the  negro 
answered.  "When  wese  up  'bout  a  mile  high,  s'pose  de 
engine  stopped  and  de  white  man  told  me  to  git  out  an' 
crank?" 


TRY  IT  ON  YOUR  WIFE 

Extract  from  lecture  by  N.  C.  O. : 

"Your  rifle  is  your  best  friend,  take  every  care  of  it ; 
treat  it  as  you  would  your  wife;  rub  it  thoroughly  with 
an  oily  rag  every  day." 


HE  WAS  GOING  AWAY  FROM  THERE 

He — "So  your  dear  count  was  wounded?" 
She — "Yes,  but  his  picture  doesn't  show  it." 
He— "That's  a  front  view." 


TAKING  MOVING  PICTURES  UNDER 
SHELL-FIRE 

TAKING  moving  pictures  while  exploding  shells 
from  pursuing  warships  and  torpedo-boats  are 
sending  up  geysers  that  splash  your  fleeing  launch  and 
stall  the  motor  is  a  little  out  of  the  run  of  even  an  Amer- 
ican war  correspondent's  daily  stunt.  Capt.  F.  E.  Klein- 
schmidt,  who  has  been  billeted  with  the  Austrian  marine 
forces  at  Trieste,  has  recently  had  such  an  experience 
while  accompanying  an  expedition  to  the  Italian  coast 
to  remove  a  field  of  mines,  an  occupation  quite  dangerous 
enough  without  the  shell-fire.  He  tells  this  story  in  the 
St.  Louis  Post-Dispatch : 

Captain  M ,  commander  of  the  marine  forces  of 

Trieste,  had  told  me  I  should  hold  myself  ready  at  a 
moment's  notice  for  an  interesting  adventure.  Presum- 
ing it  would  be  another  airplane  flight  over  the  enemy's 
territory,  I  kept  my  servants  and  chauffeur  up  late,  and 
then  finally  lay  down,  fully  dressed,  with  cameras  and 
instruments  carefully  overhauled  and  packed.  At  seven 
o'clock  next  morning  the  boatswain  of  the  launch  Lena 
called  at  the  hotel  and  told  me  to  follow  him.  "The 
captain,"  he  said,  "could  not  accompany  me."  But  he 
had  instructions  to  take  me  out  to  sea  and  then  obey  my 
orders.  An  auto  took  us  to  the  pier,  where  a  fast  little 
launch  was  ready.  This  time  she  had  a  machine  gun, 
with  ready  belt  attached,  mounted  in  her  stern,  and  flew 
the  Austrian  man-of-war  flag.  Not  until  we  were  well 
out  to  sea  did  the  boatswain  tell  me  we  were  to  sneak 
128 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        129 

over  to  the  Italian  shore  and  demolish  a  hostile  mine 
field.  The  prevailing  fog  and  exceptionally  calm 
weather  made  it  an  ideal  day  to  accomplish  our  purpose. 
The  fog  prevented  the  Italians  from  seeing  us,  and  the 
calm  sea  made  it  possible  to  lift  and  handle  the  mines 
with  a  minimum  of  danger  to  ourselves.  Two  tugboats 
and  a  barge  had  already  preceded  us  early  in  the  morn- 
ing. After  an  hour's  run  the  three  vessels  suddenly  ap- 
peared before  us,  and  we  drew  alongside  the  tugboat 
No.  10,  already  busy  hoisting  a  mine.  I  jumped  aboard 
and  reported  to  Captain  K ,  in  charge  of  the  expedi- 
tion. 

To  my  chagrin  he  refused  to  let  me  stay.  The  first 
reason  was,  it  was  too  dangerous  work,  and  he  would  not 
take  the  responsibility  of  my  being  blown  up ;  and,  sec- 
ondly, we  might  be  surprized  by  the  Italians  at  any  mo- 
ment and  be  sent  to  the  bottom  of  the  sea.  All  my  argu- 
ing and  insisting  upon  the  orders  from  his  superior 
proved  useless.  He  insisted  upon  my  return  or  written 
orders  clearing  him  of  all  responsibility.  So  I  had  to 
go  back  in  the  launch  to  Trieste  and  report  to  Captain 

M about  the  scruples  of  the  commander  of  the  mine 

expedition.  I  also  offered  to  leave  my  servants  (two 
Austrian  soldiers)  ashore  and  sign  a  written  waiver  of 
all  responsibility  should  anything  happen  to  me. 

The  ever-generous  and  obliging  Captain  M said 

he  would  accompany  me  himself,  so  out  we  raced  for  the 
second  time,  and  I  had  the  satisfaction  to  stay  and  photo- 
graph. The  most  dangerous  work,  namely,  the  lifting 
of  the  first  mine,  had  been  accomplished  during  my  re- 
turn to  Trieste.  The  nature  of  the  beast  had  been 
ascertained.    The  construction  was  a  new  one,  of  the  de- 


130       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

fensive  type.  With  good  care  and  a  smooth  sea,  the 
mines  could  be  hoisted,  made  harmless  and  be  saved. 
There  would  be,  he  hoped,  no  explosions,  and,  working 
quietly,  we  would  not  draw  an  Italian  fleet  down  upon  us. 

There  are  mines  of  offensive  and  defensive  purposes — 
such  as  you  lay  in  front  of  your  own  harbors  to  protect 
you,  and  such  as  you  lay  in  front  of  the  doors  of  your 
enemy.  The  first  ones  you  might  want  to  move  again; 
therefore,  they  are  so  constructed  that  you  can  handle 
them  again,  provided  you  know  the  secret  of  construc- 
tion. The  other  kind  you  don't  expect  to  touch  again, 
and  they  are,  therefore,  so  constructed  that  anyone  who 
tampers  with  them  will  blow  himself  up.  Secondly, 
should  the  Italians  surprize  us,  there  would  be  little 
chance  for  us  to  escape.  We  could  steam  only  about  ten 
knots  an  hour,  while  any  cruiser  or  torpedo  could  steam 
over  twenty.  The  only  armament  we  had  was  one  75- 
millimeter  Hotchkiss  gun  in  the  bow.  There  would  be 
no  surrender,  either.  He  would  blow  the  barge  and 
his  own  steamer  up  first. 

"Here,"  he  said,  pointing  to  a  tin  can  the  size  of  a 
tomato  can,  with  ready  short  fuse  attached,  "is  the  bomb 
to  be  thrown  in  the  barge,  and  here,"  looking  down  into 
the  forward  hold,  "is  the  other  one,  ready  to  blow  us  into 
eternity.  Now,  if  you  want  to  stay,  you're  welcome ;  if 
not,  take  the  launch  back  to  Trieste." 

Capt.  M ,  after  a  brief  inspection,  went  back  with 

the  launch  to  Trieste,  while  I  stayed  and  photographed 
with  the  moving  picture  camera. 

There  is  a  long  international  law  governing  the  laying 
and  exploding  of  mines,  and  there  has  been  considerable 
controversy  about  the  unlawful  laying  of  anchored  and 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        131 

drifting  mines.  There  are  land-,  river-,  and  sea-mines. 
Mines  laid  for  the  protection  of  harbors  are  usually  ex- 
ploded by  electric  batteries  from  an  observing  officer  on 
shore.  Others  are  exploded  by  contact.  The  mechanical 
devices  to  accomplish  this  are  manifold.  The  policy  ad- 
hered to  is  usually  to  construct  a  mine  so  as  to  incur  the 
least  danger,  when  handling  them,  to  yourself,  and  with 
the  opposite  results  to  your  enemy.  This  holds  true 
as  long  as  the  secret  of  construction  can  be  kept  from 
the  enemy.  The  Italians  on  a  night  invasion  had 
dropped  mines  on  the  Austrian  coast  that  would  explode 
when  tilted  only  at  an  angle  of  twenty-five  degrees.  A 
little  vial  of  acid  would  spill  over  and  explode  the  charge. 
One  day,  when  a  heavy  sea  was  running,  some  of  the 
mines  exploded,  betraying  the  location  of  the  mine  field, 
and  the  Austrians  "killed"  the  rest  of  them  with  mine- 
sweepers. 

Mine  fields  are  discovered  by  shallow-draft  steamers 
looking  for  them  in  clear  water  or  dragging  for 
them.  The  aeroplane  is  also  an  excellent  scout. 
From  a  height  of  1,000  feet  he  can  look  a  good 
depth  into  the  sea  and  see  a  mine  or  submarine.  On  my 
flight  over  Grado,  on  the  Italian  coast,  I  could  see  a 
mine  field  and  all  shallows  of  a  channel  wonderfully 
well  from  a  height  of  6,000  feet.  When  the  hydroplane 
sees  a  mine  an  automatic  float  is  dropped  that  marks  the 
locality,  and  the  mines  boat  comes  along  and  either  lifts 
it  or  blows  it  up. 

Here  these  Italian  mines  were  of  a  late  and  very  ex- 
pensive construction.  They  consisted  of  three  parts — 
the  mine,  the  anchor,  and  a  100-pound  weight;  all  three 
connected  with  a  wire  cable.    The  weight  is  an  ordinary 


132       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

oval  lump  of  iron,  attached  by  a  cable  to  the  anchor. 
The  anchor  is  a  steel  cylinder;  the  upper  part  is  per- 
forated; the  lower  half  is  a  tank  with  a  hole  in  the  bot- 
tom and  sides  to  allow  the  water  to  enter  and  sink  it. 
The  mine  is  a  globe  two  and  one-half  feet  in  diameter, 
which  fits  into  the  barrel-like  anchor  up  to  its  equator. 

The  weight,  cable,  and  anchor  holding  the  mine  are 
rolled  from  the  mine-laying  ship,  overboard.  The 
weight  sinks  to  the  bottom,  holding  the  mine  in  the  spot. 
Next,  the  water  entering  the  tank  slowly  fills  it,  and  it 
sinks  at  the  designated  place.  The  mine,  being 
buoyant,  has  detached  itself  from  the  sinking  anchor 
and  is  pulled  down  with  the  anchor  and  floats  now 
at  a  depth  of  eight  to  twelve  feet  from  the  surface. 
The  water  now  dissolves  a  peculiar  kind  of  cement  that 
has  held  a  number  of  pistons.  The  pistons,  being  re- 
leased, spring  out  and  snap  in  place  all  around  the 
equator  of  the  mine.  Comes  a  vessel  in  contact  with 
the  mine,  these  protruding  points,  made  of  brittle  metal, 
break  off  and  a  spring  releases  a  cartridge  with  explo- 
sive. This  cartridge,  with  a  detonating  cap  on  the  bot- 
tom, drops  upon  a  point  and  explodes  the  initial  charge, 
which  again  explodes  the  charge  in  the  mine. 

In  lifting  the  mine  a  rowboat  with  three  men  rows 
up  over  the  mine,  and  by  means  of  a  tube  shutting  off  the 
refraction  of  the  light  rays  a  person  can  look  into  the 
water.  With  a  boat-hook  and  attached  rope,  a  shackle 
on  the  top  of  the  mine  is  caught,  the  pole  unscrewed,  the 
rope  is  taken  into  a  winch  aboard  the  steamer  or  barge, 
and  the  mine  is  then  carefully  hoisted.  When  the  mine 
comes  to  the  surface  the  mine  engineer  rows  up,  presses 
down  a  lever,  and  secures  it  with  a  steel  pin.    This  per- 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        133 

formance  locks  the  spring  and  prevents  the  cartridge 
from  dropping  on  the  piston.  Next,  the  mine  is  hoisted 
on  the  barge,  the  top  is  unscrewed,  and  the  cartridge 
holding  the  initial  explosive  charge  is  taken  out,  render- 
ing the  mine  harmless  with  ordinary  handling.  The 
cylinder-like  anchor  is  then  hoisted  by  the  attached 
cable,  and  last  the  weight  is  brought  up. 

We  were  busy  hoisting  and  searching  for  mines  till  3 
p.  m.  Another  tugboat,  the  San  Marco,  was  also  steam- 
ing around  in  our  vicinity,  keeping  a  sharp  lookout  for 
hostile  men-of-war,  and  also,  when  seeing  a  mine,  drop- 
ping a  float.  The  fog  had  lifted  a  little,  and  once  in  a 
while  we  could  see  the  outlines  of  houses  on  the  shore. 
We  had  six  mines  on  the  barge  and  three  on  our  steamer, 
when  the  launch  which  had  taken  me  out  hove  in  sight 

to   take   me   back    for   dinner.      Captain   K said: 

"Well,  we  have  been  lucky  so  far ;  we  have  only  one  more 
mine  to  take  up,  and  I  had  a  good  mind  to  blow  it  up  and 
hike  for  home." 

"Good,"  I  said,  "then  I'll  unpack  my  cameras  again 
and  take  a  picture  of  the  explosion."  At  this  moment.the 
San  Marco  gave  a  signal  of  three  short  blasts.  I  looked 
toward  the  Italian  coast  and  saw  two  men-of-war  loom 
up  in  the  fog;  then  two  more.  Two  had  four  funnels 
each  and  were  cruisers ;  the  other  two  were  torpedo-boat 
destroyers. 

"Enemy  in  sight."  "  Clear  the  ship."  "Jump  aboard." 
"Cut  the  barge  adrift,"  came  in  sharp  commands  from 
Captain  K . 

Six  men  at  the  windlass  were  lowering  a  mine  care- 
fully onto  the  deck  of  the  barge.  They  let  it  drop  so 
suddenly  that  the  men  guiding  it  jumped  aside  in  terror. 


134       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

All  hands  jumped  from  the  barge  aboard  our  steamer. 
The  ropes  holding  the  barge  alongside  were  cut,  the  bells 
clanged  in  the  engine-room,  and  we  shot  ahead.  Fog 
had  momentarily  blotted  the  vessels  out  again  and  gave  a 
false  sense  of  security.  "Make  the  towing  hawser  fast; 
we'll  tow  her/'  shouted  K .  Three  men  tried  to  be- 
lay the  hawser,  but  we  had  too  much  headway  on  al- 
ready, and  the  rope  tore  through  their  fingers. 

"Throw  the  bomb  into  her." 

The  bomb  flew  across,  but  fell  short ;  then  I  saw  a  flash 
of  lightning  in  the  fog,  and  the  next  moment  a  huge 
fountain  of  water  rose  on  our  starboard  side,  and  the 
shell  flew  screaming  past  us.  Boom !  boom !  boom !  Now 
all  four  ships  gave  us  their  broadsides  and  the  stricken 
sea  spouted  geysers  all  around  us  and  the  San  Marco. 
Screaming  shells  and  roaring  guns  filled  the  fog. 

"Twelve    hundred    meters,"    quoth    K .    "They 

should  soon  get  the  range."  I  looked  at  our  little  Hotch- 
kiss  on  the  fore  deck — there  was  no  use  to  reply  even. 
The  San  Marco  had  described  a  half-circle  and  came 
running  up  astern  of  us  as  if,  like  a  good  comrade,  she 
was   going  to  share   our   fate   with  us.     As  she  came 

abreast  of  our  Barge  K shouted,  "Drop  a  bomb  into 

her." 

"I  have  only  one  ready  for  my  own  ship,"  the  captain 
yelled  back. 

"They  will  get  our  whole  day's  work,"  growled 
K . 

"Hurray !"  we  all  shouted  the  next  minute,  as  a  shell 
struck  the  barge  full  center,  exploding  the  six  mines  and 
shattering  it  in  bits,  enveloping  all  in  a  dense  cloud  of 
black  smoke. 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        135 

At  this  moment  the  other  launch  came  alongside  and 
raced  along  with  us.  I  threw  my  cameras  into  it,  and 
jumped  aboard;  then  we  sheared  off  again,  so  as  not  to 
give  the  enemy  too  big  a  target. 

Next  minute  three  shells  shrieked  so  close  to  our  ears 
that  we  threw  ourselves  flat  in  the  bottom  of  the  launch 
and  one  shaved  the  deck  of  No.  10.  There  seemed  to  be 
no  escape.  The  Italians  cut  us  off  from  Trieste,  and  we 
headed  for  Miramar.  They  did  not  come  nearer ;  but  the 
Lord  knows  they  were  near  enough,  and  by  rights  they 
should  have  sent  us  to  the  bottom  the  first  three  shots. 
Even  had  they  steamed  directly  up  to  us,  they  could  have 
got  us  by  the  scruff  of  the  neck  in  five  minutes,  for  we 
could  make  only  ten  knots  to  their  twenty-five. 

One  fast  torpedo-boat,  risking  what  was  a  few  hours 
ago  their  own  mine  field,  and,  of  course,  knowing  nothing 
to  the  contrary,  got  the  No.  10  and  our  launch  in  line 
and  gave  us  all  attention  in  the  manner  of  a  pot-hunter 
trying  to  rake  us.  I  had  just  taken  my  moving  picture 
camera  out  of  its  case  and  set  it  on  the  tripod  when  a 
shell  struck  three  feet  from  the  launch,  raising  a  big 
geyser.  The  column  of  water  descending  douched  us 
and  stopped  our  motor.  I  had  to  dry  off  the  spark  plugs 
while  the  engineer  got  busy  cranking. 

Happily,  the  motor  sprang  right  on  again,  and  I  got 
back  to  the  camera  and  commenced  cranking.  I  tried 
to  keep  the  No.  10  and  the  San  Marco  in  the  view- 
finder  in  case  they  should  get  hit,  and  endeavored  to  get 
the  spouting  of  the  shells.  I  got  about  one  hundred  feet 
of  it,  but  it  is  a  tame  illustration  of  all  the  excitement  of 
a  race  between  life  and  death.  The  Italians  with  their 
speed,  having  passed  us,  now  swung  around  again  and 


136       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

edged  us  off  from  Miramar,  so  we  held  to  the  west  of  it 
for  our  shore  batteries. 

All  this  time  we  kept  wondering  why  the  next  shell 
didn't  strike  one  of  us.  Then  we  saw  one  of  our  sub- 
marines just  diving  to  the  periscope.  By  this  time  we 
came  nearly  within  range  of  our  shore  batteries,  and  one 
of  them  began  to  bark  at  the  Italians,  but  at  such  range 
and  in  the  fog  they  must  have  just  tried  to  scare  them, 
for  we  couldn't  even  see  the  shells  hitting  the  water. 
However,  we  escaped  "by  the  skin  of  our  teeth." 

As  the  fog  had  lifted  a  little  around  noon,  and  we 
could  see  the  houses  on  shore,  evidently  the  lookouts  had 
reported  our  presence  and  the  Italians  had  left  Grado  to 
tackle  us.  The  obscurity  of  the  fog,  the  strange-looking 
barge,  the  San  Marco,  the  proximity  of  the  mine  fields, 
all  this  had  rendered  the  Italians  so  cautious  that  they 
were  satisfied  to  run  parallel  with  us  and  give  us  their 
broadside.  The  last  we  saw  of  them  was  when  they 
swung  more  and  more  around  toward  their  own  coast 
and  were  again  enveloped  in  the  fog.  They  were  the 
same  four  vessels  that  had  bombarded  us  the  day  before, 

when  I  flew  with  Lieut.  D in  a  hydroplane  over 

Grado. 


COSTS  MORE  NOW 


Adam  gave  one  rib  and  got  a  wife.  Robert  Kirton, 
of  Pittsburgh,  back  from  the  front,  lost  seven  ribs  and 
then  married  his  Red-Cross  nurse.  This  shows  the  in- 
creased cost  of  living. 


WEIGHTY  MEASURES  INVOLVING 
UNCLE  SAM'S  NAVY 

THIS  is  the  story  of  a  conspiracy  against  Uncle  Sam 
— a  patriotic  plot  to  be  sure,  for  it  is  concerned 
with  the  son  of  a  Spanish  War  veteran  who  was  rej  ected 
for  service  in  Uncle  Sam's  Navy  because  he  was  seven 
pounds  shy  of  weight  for  height,  the  said  son's  up-and- 
down  dimension  being  full  six  feet.  It  is  a  story  of 
superfeeding  conducted  while  the  young  man  was  skill- 
fully kept  a  prisoner — albeit  a  willing  one,  but  just  to 
guard  against  his  "jumping  his  feed" — by  placing  his 
nether  garments  carefully  under  lock  and  key.  The 
New  York  Sun  tells  the  tale  and  its  happy  outcome.  It 
happened  in  this  way : 

Young  Walter  Francis  everlastingly  did  want  to  get 
into  the  Navy  and  stop  this  £7-boat  nonsense  once  and 
for  all.  Wherefore  last  Saturday  bright  and  early 
Potential  Admiral  Francis  took  his  bearings  from  the 
compass  he  wears  on  his  watch  chain,  yelled,  "Ship 
ahoy !"  to  the  skipper  of  a  passing  Brooklyn  trolley  car, 
boarded  a  starboard  seat  well  aft  in  the  car,  and  then 
set  sail  over  the  waves  of  Brooklyn  asphalt  toward  the 
recruiting  plant  of  the  Second  Naval  Battalion  of  Brook- 
lyn at  the  foot  of  Fifty-second  street,  Bay  Ridge. 

"Step  on,"  directed  the  examining  surgeon  to  young 
Mr.  Francis,  indicating  the  scales  in  his  office.  "Step  off. 
Now  step  out — you're  seven  pounds  shy  for  a  six-footer." 

Half  an  hour  later  Walter  Francis,  dej  ected  and  for- 
lorn, appeared  before  his  father. 

137 


138       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

"  'Smatter,  son?"  inquired  the  Spanish  War  vet 

"  'Smatter,  pop !  There's  seven  pounds  the  matter ! 
Uncle  Sam  can  do  without  me." 

Mrs.  Francis  came  into  the  room  and  heard  the  de- 
pressing news  of  her  short-weight  son,  and  straightway 
conspiracy  stalked  silently  upon  the  scene.  Says  the 
writer  in  the  Sun: 

A  moment  later  a  significant  look  passed  between 
father  and  mother  above  and  back  of  the  bowed  head  of 
their  son.  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Francis  withdrew  to  the  kitchen 
for  a  council  of  war.  Then  Spanish-American  War 
Veteran  Joe  Francis  walked  into  the  front  room  again 
and  stood  before  his  underweight  offspring. 

"Take  off  our  pants,  Walter/'  said  Francis,  senior, 
"And  give  me  your — don't  sit  there  staring  at  me;  get 
busy — give  me  your  shoes.  Ma,  catch  the  boy's  pants 
when  I  throw  'em  out  to  you.  Lock  his  pants  and  shoes 
up  with  all  his  other  pants  and  then  start  in  cooking. 
Cook  up  everything  you  got  in  the  house.  And  when  you 
get  a  chance  run  down  to  Gilligan's  and  tell  him  to  send 
up  five  pounds  of  dried  apples." 

"I'm  on,  pop !"  suddenly  shouted  Embryo  Admiral 
Walter  Francis,  springing  to  his  feet  alive  once  more. 
"You're  going  to  feed  me  up  for  a  couple  of  weeks  so  I'll 
make  the  weight.  Gosh,  you're  there  with  the  bean,  pop 
— I  never  woulda  thought  of  the  scheme." 

"For  a  couple  of  weeks !"  cried  Parent  Francis  scorn- 
fully.   "For  a  couple  of  days,  you  mean,  son.    Come  on 

into  the  dining-room  and  start  right  in  to .    No,  stay 

right  where  you  are.  Don't  move  from  now  on  unless 
you  have  to  or  you  might  lose  another  ounce.  You  just 
sit  right  there  all  day.    Ma  will  do  the  cooking  and  I'll 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES       139 

be  the  waiter.  And  if  you're  not  up  to  weight  inside  of 
three  days  then  I'm  a  German  spy.  And  don't  weaken. 
Just  keep  in  mind  that  even  if  you  do  it  won't  get  you 
anything.  For  I'm  going  to  keep  the  key  to  all  your 
pants  right  in  my  pocket  till  you  cripple  the  weighing 
scales.  So  all  you're  going  to  do  from  now  on  is  stick 
around  and  eat." 

Already  Mrs.  Francis  had  passed  into  the  room  a 
nightshirt  and  a  three-quart  pitcher  brimming  with 
sparkling  Croton.  Without  a  pause  Parent  Francis 
had  filled  a  tumbler  and  passed  it  on  to  his  offspring, 
who  eagerly  drained  the  glass.  Tumbler  after  tumbler 
of  water  was  tumbled  into  the  digestive  system  of  the 
underweight  linotyper,  while  steadily  from  the  kitchen 
came  the  happy  sizzling  of  four  pork  chops  and  fast- 
frying  potatoes  with  trimmings. 

Twenty-one  glasses  of  water  disappeared  into  young 
Walter  Francis  before  Saturday's  sun  had  set,  together 
with  all  the  pork  chops,  the  fried  potatoes,  thick  slices 
of  buttered  bread,  and  some  other  snacks. 

The  Sunday  treatment  included  fourteen  glasses  of 
water  and  a  general  packing-in  of  fattening  fodder, 
until  dinner-time  arrived,  when  son  Walter  was  fed 
up  on  two  pounds  of  steak  smothered  in  boiled  potatoes 
with  trimmings  of  stewed  corn  and  mashed  turnips,  all 
resting  on  a  solid  foundation  of  well-buttered  bread  and 
roofed  with  a  generous  slab  of  apple  pie.     And  then: 

One  and  one-quarter  pounds  of  mutton-chops  merely 
formed  the  architectural  approaches  to  the  breakfast 
Walter  Francis  found  staring  him  in  the  face  when  he 
arose  heavily  on  Monday  morning.  Ham  and  eggs  in 
groups — salty  ham  which  hadn't  been  parboiled,  thus 


140'      STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

retaining  its  thirst-arousing  properties — was  the  center- 
piece around  which  the  luncheon  Mrs.  Francis  had  pre- 
pared that  day  for  her  son  was  draped.  A  dinner  that 
ran  all  the  way  from  soup  to  nuts  (the  time  was  grow- 
ing short  if  Parent  Francis  was  to  make  good  on  his 
promises)  followed  on  Monday  night,  the  big  noise  of 
the  Monday  dinner  being  a  sirloin  steak. 

And  just  before  Son  Francis  decided  to  call  it  a  day 
and  waddle  to  bed  Spanish-American  War  Veteran 
Francis  had  a  final  happy  thought.  Father  fed  son  a 
plentiful  supply  of  dried  apples  and  then  unleashed  a 
growler  and  went  down  to  the  corner  and  got  a  quart 
of  collarless  beer.  Walter  Francis  flooded  the  dried 
apples  with  the  entire  quart  of  beer,  cried  "Woof! 
I'm  a  hippopotamus !"  and  collapsed  into  bed. 

Tuesday  morning  last  Father  and  Mother  Francis 
personally  helped  their  son  toward  the  street-door  after 
he  had  breakfasted  on  five  pork-chops,  two  cups  of 
coffee  and  four  rolls.  Once  more  he  was  about  to  set 
sail  for  the  Second  Naval  Battalion  recruiting  office  at 
the  foot  of  Fifty-second  Street,  where  three  days  earlier 
he  had  been  turned  down  as  hopelessly  shy  on  tonnage. 
Parent  Francis  helped  his  bouncing  boy  aboard  the 
trolley-car,  shouting  a  last  word  of  caution  to  walk,  not 
run,  to  the  nearest  entrance  to  the  recruiting  station. 

And  just  before  young  Mr.  Francis  applied  again  foi 
the  job  of  ridding  the  seas  of  £7-boats  (it  should  be 
mentioned  incidentally  that  about  half  an  hour  earlier 
his  father  had  unlocked  a  pair  of  pants  and  other  gent's 
furnishings  for  the  trip)  the  potential  admiral  saw  the 
burnished  sign  on  a  corner  saloon.  He  got  off  the  car 
carefully,  drank  seven  glasses  of  water  in  the  saloon 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        141 

and  then  eased  his  way  into  the  presence  of  the  surgeon 
who  had  given  him  the  gate  on  Saturday. 

"I  told  you  before  you  were  many  pounds  under- 
weight, young  man,"  said  the  surgeon.  "It's  utterly 
useless  for  you  to  come  around  here  when " 

"But  that  was  away  last  week,  Doc,"  wheezed  young 
Mr.  Francis.     "Give  me  another  try  at  your  scales." 

"My  Gordon !"  cried  the  surgeon,  glancing  at  the 
scales  and  uttering  his  favorite  cuss-word.  "Saturday 
you  were  seven  pounds  under  weight  and  to-day  you're 
a  pound  overweight!     How'd  yuh  ever  do  it?" 

"I've  heard  of  lads  getting  their  teeth  pulled  to  get 
out  of  serving  Uncle  Sam,  but  you're  the  first  guy  I  ever 
heard  of  who  made  a  fool  of  his  stummick  to  get  into 
the  Navy,"  grinned  Bos'n  Carroll  as  Walter  Francis 
bared  his  brawny  arm  for  the  vaccine.  "Welcome  to 
our  ocean,  Kid !" 


NEVER  TALK  BACK 

" and  then  the  Germans  charged,  and  the  captain 

shouted,  'Shoot  at  will/  and  I  shouted,  'Which  one  is 
he?'  And  then  they  took  away  my  gun,  and  now  I 
can't  play  any  more." 


GOING  HOME 


Visitor — "And  what  did  you  do  when  the  shell  struck 
you?" 

Bored  Tommy — "Sent  mother  a  post-card  to  have  my 
bed  aired." 


ENLISTED  MEN  TELL  WHY  THEY 
JOINED  THE  ARMY 

OUR  first  forces  in  France  were  volunteers,  part  of 
the  old  regular  Army,  though  many  of  the  enlist- 
ments were  recent.  The  motives  leading  men  to  join 
such  an  army  are  varied  and  in  many  cases  humorous 
or  pathetic.  A  Y.  M.  C.  A.  secretary  in  France,  who 
had  won  the  confidence  of  the  men  with  whom  he  was 
associated,  wondered  why  each  man  had  come.  So  he 
arranged  that  they  should  hand  in  cards  telling  why 
they  had  enlisted.  Mr.  Arthur  Gleason  presents  some 
of  the  answers  in  the  New  York  Tribune  as  "the  first 
real  word  from  the  soldier  himself  of  why  he  has  offered 
himself."  These  replies  came  from  two  battalions  of 
an  infantry  regiment,  which,  for  military  reasons  can 
not  be  identified.  Mr.  Gleason  puts  them  in  several 
groups.  One  is  the  sturdily  patriotic.  Thus,  one 
soldier  says: 

"My  reason  in  1907  was  that  I  liked  the  service  and 
wanted  to  try  for  something  new  and  bright  for  my 
country." 

Others  say:  "Because  my  country  needs  me";  "to 
catch  Villa";  "I  wanted  to  get  the  Kaiser's  goat";  "for 
the  benefit  of  the  American  Army";  "so  patriotic  and 
didn't  know  what  it  was";  "Mexican  trouble,  1917"; 
"I  felt  like  my  country  needed  me,  and  I  wanted  to 
do  something  for  it,  and  that  was  the  only  way  I  was 
able  to  do  anything  for  my  dear  country,  the  good  old 
U.  S.  A.";  "I  never  did  anything  worth  while  on  the 

142 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        143 

outside,  so  I  dedicated  myself  to  my  country  that  I 
might  be  of  some  use  to  some  one";  "a  couple  of  Ger- 
mans"; "to  serve  God  and  my  country." 

Another  class  of  answers  deal  with  what  is  in  the 
blood  of  youth — the  desire  to  taste  adventure,  to  see 
the  world,  and  see  France.  Here  are  a  few  in  this 
group : 

"To  do  my  duty  and  see  the  world";  "to  see  the 
world,  ha!  ha!";  "because  I  thought  I  would  like  that 
kind  of  a  life,  and  didn't  know  what  kind  of  a  life  I 
would  have  to  lead  in  this  hole" ;  "got  tired  of  staying 
at  home";  "I  was  seeking  adventure  and  change  of 
environments";  "to  kill  time  and  fight";  "to  see 
France";  "I  was  discouraged  with  the  civilian  life  and 
wanted  to  get  some  excitement";  "to  have  a  chance  to 
ride  on  the  train;  I  never  had  ridden";  "they  said  I  was 
not  game  and  I  was,  and  because  I  wished  to" ;  "because 
I  wouldn't  stay  in  one  place  any  length  of  time,  I 
thought  if  I  joined  the  Army  for  three  or  seven  years 
I  would  be  ready  to  settle  down.  I  think  that  is  as 
good  a  thing  as  any  boy  could  do" ;  "to  see  the  world" ; 
"I  had  tried  everything  else,  so  I  thought  I  would  try 
the  Army." 

Another  group  of  answers  deal  with  the  individual 
human  problem  of  hunger  and  loneliness.  These  that 
follow  illustrate  this: 

"To  fight,  and  for  what  money  was  in  it";  "three 
good  square  meals  and  a  bath";  "because  I  was  dis- 
gusted with  myself  and  thought  it  would  make  a  man 
out  of  me";  "I  was  too  lazy  to  do  anything  else";  "I 
was  stewed";  "to  get  some  clothes,  a  place  to  sleep  and 
something  to  eat";  "because  I  was  hungry";  "because 


144       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

I  was  nuts  with  the  dobey  heat"  (dobey  is  a  Mexican 
slang  word  brought  up  by  the  boys  from  the  border)  ; 
"because  I  had  to  keep  from  starving;"  "in  view  of  the 
fact  that  I  was  so  delicate  and  a  physical  wreck  I 
joined  the  Army,  hoping  to  get  lots  of  fresh  air  and 
exercise,  which  I  have  sure  gotton,  and  am  ready  to  go 
home  at  any  time";  "I  was  in  jail  and  they  came  and 
got  me.  Hard  luck!";  "because  I  did  not  have  no 
home";  "I  got  hungry";  "pork  and  beans  were  high  at 
the  time";  "three  square  meals  a  day  and  a  flop." 

The  voice  of  State  rights  speaks  in  the  replies  of  two 
men  from  the  South: 

"To  represent  the  State  of  Kentucky." 
"In  answer  to  a  call  from  my  State,  Mississippi,  and 
to  see  something  of  the  world,  and  I  have  seen  some  of 
the  world,  too." 

Then,  too,  there  are  a  number  that  refuse  to  be 
classified;  each  has  its  own  note  of  suffering  or  audacity 
of  humor: 

"To  catch  the  Kaiser";  "because  the  girls  like  a 
soldier";  "because  my  girl  turned  her  back  on  me,  that's 
all";  "I  thought  I  was  striking  something  soft,  but 
.  .  .  " ;  "the  dear  ones  at  home" ;  "I  was  crazy" ;  "two 
reasons:  because  girls  like  soldiers  and  I  saw  a  sign 
'500,000  men  wanted  to  police  up  France'";  "for  my 
health  and  anything  else  that  is  in  it"  (a  consumptive 
soldier)  ;  "to  show  that  my  blood  was  made  of  the  Amer- 
ican's blood";  "to  learn  self-control";  "it  was  a  mis- 
take; I  didn't  know  any  better";  "for  my  adopted 
country";  "I  got  drunk  on  Saturday,  the  Fourth  of 
July,  1913,  and  I  left  home  on  the  freight-train  and 
joined  the  Army,  and  woke  up  the  next  morning  getting 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        145 

two  sheets  in  the  wind,  and  I  haven't  got  drunk  since 
that ;  made  a  man  out  of  me" ;  "to  keep  from  working, 
but  I  got  balled";  "I  have  not  seen  anything  yet  but 
rain";  "because  I  didn't  know  what  I  was  doing"; 
"to  kill  a  couple  of  Germans  for  the  wrong  done 
Poland";  "to  keep  from  wearing  my  knuckles  out  on  the 
neighbors'  back  doors";  "adventure  and  experience; 
also,  to  do  my  little  bit  for  my  country,  the  good  old 
U.  S.  A.,  and  the  Stars  and  Stripes,  the  flag  of  free- 
dom"; "to  fight  for  my  country  and  the  flag,  for  the 
U.  S.  is  a  free  land,  and  we  will  get  the  Kaiser,  damn 
him.     Oh,  the  U.  S.  A.!"     (Picture  of  a  flag.) 

One  man  makes  out  a  complete  category  of  his 
reasons:  (a) "To  see  excitement";  (6) "to  help  win  this 
war  and  end  the  Kaiser's  idea  of  world  ruler" ;  (c)  "help 
free  the  German  people  from  Kaiserism." 

And,  finally,  there  is  one  that  needs  no  comment,  and 
with  this  we  will  end: 

"Because  mother  was  dead  and  I  had  no  home." 


THE  NATIONAL  GAME 

Teacher — "What  lessons  do  we  learn  from  the  attack 
on  the  Dardanelles?" 

Prize  Scholar — "That  a  strait  beats  three  kings,  dad 
says." 


TOMMY  ATKINS,  RAIN-SOAKED  AND 
WAR-WORN  STILL  GRINS 

FREDERIC  WILLIAM  WILE,  one  of  the  Vig- 
ilantes, differs  with  Sherman  in  declaring  that 
war  is  mud.  He  had  just  returned  from  what  he 
describes  as  one  of  the  periodical  joy-rides  which  the 
British  Foreign  Office  and  the  General  Staff  organize 
from  time  to  time  to  give  civilians  an  opportunity  to 
visit  the  front.  Mr.  Wile's  visits  occurred  when  the 
war-god  was  evidently  taking  a  much-needed  rest,  for 
he  says  that  on  two  occasions  when  he  intruded  upon 
Armageddon  he  saw  more  rain  than  blood  spilled.  But 
he  found  Tommy  Atkins — mud-caked  and  rain-soaked — 
still  wearing  the  grin  that  won't  come  off.  Mr.  Wile 
thus  writes  of  his  last  visit: 

I  am  in  to-night  from  a  day  in  the  trenches.  It  rained 
all  the  time.  The  trenches  were  gluey  and  sticky,  and 
the  "duck-boards"  along  which  we  traveled  were  afloat 
a  good  share  of  the  day.  But  the  only  people  who 
used  really  strong  language  about  having  to  eat,  sleep, 
and  navigate  in  such  soggy  territory  was  our  party  of 
civilian  tenderfoots.  The  cave-dwellers  in  khaki  whom 
we  encountered  in  endless  numbers  were  as  happy  as 
school-children  on  a  picnic.  Clay-spattered  from  head 
to  foot,  their  clothes  often  wringing  wet,  they  looked 
up  from  whatever  happened  to  be  their  tasks  and 
grinned  as  we  passed. 

Our  chief  and  always  dominating  impression  was  of 
their  grins  and  smiles.  I  am  firmly  convinced  that 
146 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        147 

soldiers  who  can  laugh  in  such  weather  can  not  be 
overcome  by  anything,  not  even  the  Prussian  military 
machine.  Perhaps  Tommy  smiled  more  broadly  than 
usual  to-day  at  our  expense,  for  during  our  hike  from 
a  certain  quarry  to  a  certain  front  line  "Fritz"  sent 
over  whiz-bangs  which  caused  us  arm-chair  warriors 
from  home  to  duck  and  dodge  in  the  most  un-Napo- 
leonic  fashion,  even  though  our  gyrations  were  in 
obedience  to  nature's  first  law — self-preservation. 

When  you're  in  a  trench  and  a  shell  screeches  through 
the  heavens — you  always  hear  it  and  never  see  it — the 
temptation  to  side-step  is  the  last  word  in  irresistibility. 
You  have  been  provided  with  a  steel  helmet  before 
starting  out  on  the  expedition  in  view  of  the  possibility 
that  a  stray  piece  of  German  shrapnel  may  come  your 
way.  These  helmets  have  saved  many  a  gallant  Tommy 
from  sudden  death. 

After  you've  heard  a  whiz-bang  and  find  that  you 
are  still  intact,  you  ask:  "Was  that  a  Boche  or  one  of 
curs?"  You  experience  an  indefinable  sense  of  relief 
when  you  are  told  that  it  was  "one  of  ours,"  but  you 
keep  on  ducking  in  the  same  old  way  whenever  the 
air  is  rent. 

Yes,  it  is  the  invincible  grin  of  Tommy  Atkins  in 
abominable  atmospheric  surroundings  and  in  the  omni- 
present shadow  of  death  that  has  photographed  itself 
most  indelibly  on  my  memory  to-day.  But  next  to  that 
I  am  struck  by  his  amazing  good  health  as  mirrored  by 
his  ruddy  cheeks  and  bright  eyes.  Certainly  the  strap- 
ping young  fellows  whom  I  have  seen  are  a  vastly  finer, 
sturdier  lot,  physically  viewed,  than  any  set  of  men 
now  running  around  the  streets  of  London  in  citizens* 


148       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

clothes.  It  is  manifestly  "the  life,"  this  endless  sojourn 
of  theirs  on  the  edge  of  No  Man's  Land,  with  the  enemy 
a  rifle-shot  away. 

You  ask  their  officers  what  explains  this  hygienic 
phenomenon — this  ability  to  keep  at  the  top  note  of 
"fitness"  amid  privations  almost  unimaginable.  You 
will  be  told  that  it  is  the  remorselessly  "regular  life" 
the  men  lead  for  one  thing,  and  the  liberal  supply  of 
fresh  air,  for  another.  Then  it  is  the  simple  food  they 
eat  and  the  never-ending  exercise  they  get  for  their  legs 
and  arms  and  muscles.  They  sleep  when  and  where 
they  can,  in  their  clothes  for  weeks  on  end,  never  say- 
ing "How-do-you-do?"  to  a  bath-tub  sometimes  for  many 
days,  though  they  shave  each  morning  with  religious 
punctuality,  even  in  the  midst  of  a  mighty  "push." 
Cleanliness  of  physiognomy  is  as  much  a  passion  with 
Mr.  Atkins  as  his  daily  ablutions  are  to  a  pious  Turk. 
You  will  go  far  before  you  will  find  a  cleaner-faced 
aggregation  of  young  men  than  the  British  Army  in 
the  field. 

Should  you  have  any  doubt  as  to  what  the  physical 
appearance  of  the  men  tells  you,  and  ask  an  officer 
how  Tommy  is  standing  the  strain  of  the  war,  he 
declares  enthusiastically,  "The  men  are  simply  splen- 
did !"  And  you  hear  from  the  men  that  the  officers  are 
"top-hole."  But  all  that  you  will  learn  from  the  officers 
on  that  subject  is: 

Regulation  No.  1,  when  a  man  gets  a  commission 
in  the  British  Army,  is :  "Men  first,  officers  next."  An 
officer's  business,  in  other  words,  is  to  see  that  his  men 
are  well  looked  after.  If  there  is  any  time  left  when 
he   has   done   that,  he   may  look  after   himself.      But 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        149 

Tommy  comes  first.  That  is  why  the  relations  between 
superior  and  subordinate  in  the  mighty  Citizens'  Army 
of  Britain  are  perfect  in  the  highest  degree.  Duke's 
son  and  cook's  son  are  real  pals.  Class  distinctions 
are  non-existent  in  the  England  that  is  the  trenched 
fields  of  France  and  Flanders. 

"Just  so  we  keep  on  livin' — that's  all  we  ask/'  was 
the  sententious  observations  of  a  mud-clotted  York- 
shireman  who  backed  against  the  slimy  wall  of  a  trench 
to  let  us  pass.  We  had  asked  him  the  stereotyped  ques- 
tion— "Well,  Tommy,  how  goes  it?"  His  answer  was 
unmistakably  typical  of  the  spirit  which  dominates  the 
whole  army.  The  men  are  not  happy  to  be  there. 
They  long  for  the  war  to  end.  They  do  not  put  in 
their  time  in  the  slush  and  rain  cheering  and  singing. 
They  hanker  for  "Blighty."  They  want  to  go  home. 
But  not  until  the  grim  business  that  brought  them  to 
France  is  satisfactorily  finished.  They  want  no  Stock- 
holm-made peace.     They  are  fighting  for  a  knock-out. 

I  left  behind  me  in  London  a  lot  of  dismal,  gloomy, 
and  down-hearted  friends,  candidates  all  for  the  Pes- 
simists' Club.  I  wish  they  could  have  hiked  through  the 
trenches  with  me.  It  is  the  finest  cure  in  the  world 
for  the  blues.  It  may  thunder  and  pour  day  and  night 
in  Trenchland,  and  the  country  may  be  a  morass  for 
miles  in  every  direction,  but  the  sun  of  optimism  and 
confidence  is  always  shining  in  the  British  Army's 
heart. 


SOMETHING  NEW  FOR  THE  MARINES 

"TF  CORPORAL    ever  wrote  a  better  story  for 

JL  his  newspaper  than  the  one  he  has  sent  to  us,  I 
should  certainly  like  to  read  it."  This  high  praise  comes 
from  Maj.  W.  H.  Parker,  head  of  the  Marine  Recruiting 
Service  in  New  York,  and  is  bestowed  upon  a  letter  in 
The  Recruiters'  Bulletin,  which  was  written  by  a  marine, 
formerly  a  reporter  in  Philadelphia  and  now  "Some- 
where in  France."  He  rejoices  at  the  start  that  "at 
last  it  is  happening,"  which  "happening"  is  that  the 
marines,  "every  scrapping  one  of  them  down  to  the  last 
grizzled  veteran,  are  undergoing  new  experiences — 
learning  new  tricks."  Of  course  this  is  beyond  possi- 
bility, everybody  will  say,  and  the  ex-reporter  admits 
that- 
One  would  think  so  after  hearing  of  their  experi- 
ences in  far-away  China,  Japan,  and  the  Philippines, 
near-by  Cuba,  Haiti,  and  Mexico,  and  other  places  which 
God  forgot  and  which  you  and  I  never  heard  of;  after 
hearing  stories  of  daredevil  bravery,  fierce  abandon 
and  disregard  for  life  and  limb  in  the  faithful  discharge 
of  their  duties  as  soldiers  of  the  sea  and  guardians  of 
the  peace  in  Uncle  Sam's  dirty  corners. 

And  yet  here  in  France,  among  people  of  their  own 
color  and  race,  of  paved  streets  and  taxicabs,  among  the 
old  men  and  women  of  the  villages,  among  the  poilus 
coming  and  going  in  a  steady  stream  to  and  from  the 
front,  the  marine  is  learning  new  things  every  day. 
150 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        151 

Packing  up  "back  home"  on  a  few  hours'  notice  is 
no  new  experience  to  the  marine.  Marching  aboard  a 
transport,  with  the  date  and  hour  of  sailing  unknown, 
is  taken  as  a  matter  of  course  by  the  veteran.  There 
is  no  cheering  gallery,  no  weeping  relatives,  wife,  or 
sweethearts,  as  he  leaves  to  carry  out  the  business  in 
hand.  It  is  just  the  same  as  if  you  were  going  to  your 
office  in  the  morning.  You  may  return  in  time  for  dinner 
or  you  may  be  delayed.  The  only  difference  is  that 
sometimes  the  marines  do  not  return. 

Although  life  aboard  the  transport  which  carried  the 
first  regiment  of  marines  to  new  fields  of  action  in 
France  was  a  matter  of  routine  to  the  average  sea-going 
soldier,  there  was  added  the  zest  of  expectation  of  an 
encounter  with  one  of  the  floating  perils,  the  "sub."  It 
was  but  a  matter  of  two  or  three  days,  however,  when 
everyone  became  accustomed  to  the  numerous  lookouts 
stationed  about  the  ship,  the  frequent  "abandon  ship" 
drills,  the  strange  orders  which  came  down  the  line,  and 
the  new-fangled  rules  and  regulations  which  permitted 
no  lights  or  smoking  after  sundown. 

Kaiser  "Bill's"  pet  sharks  were  contemptuously  re- 
ferred to  as  the  "tin  lizzies"  of  the  sea.  "We  must  play 
safe  and  avoid  them,"  was  the  policy  of  those  entrusted 
with  the  safety  of  more  than  2,000  expectant  fighters, 
however.  And  we  met  them,  too.  Not  one  or  two  of 
them,  but — (here  the  censor  interfered.) 

Since  his  arrival  in  France  the  marine  has  spent  day 
after  day  in  learning  new  things,  not  the  least  of  which 
is  that  contrary  to  his  usual  experience  of  finding  about 
him  a  hostile  people,  rifle  in  hand,  and  unknown  danger 
ahead,  he  is  among  a  people  who  welcome  him  as  a 


152       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

friend  and  ally  in  the  struggle  against  a  common  enemy. 
With  the  arrival  of  the  American  troops,  the  appealing 
outstretched  hands  of  France  were  changed  to  hands  of 
welcome,  creating  an  atmosphere  that  might  easily  have 
turned  the  heads  of  men  more  balanced  than  the  marines 
after  being  confined  for  more  than  two  weeks  aboard  a 
ship,  but — 

Here,  again,  one  comes  in  contact  with  the  matter-of- 
fact  administration  of  the  marines.  Arriving  under  such 
circumstances,  the  landing  and  encampment  of  the  ma- 
rines were  effected  with  a  military  precision  and  busi- 
nesslike efficiency  which  allowed  no  one  for  a  moment 
to  forget  the  serious  nature  of  the  mission  upon  which 
he  had  embarked. 

Stores  and  supplies  were  loaded  on  trucks  and,  in 
less  than  three  hours  after  the  order  was  given  to  dis- 
embark, the  marines,  with  their  packs  strapped  over  the 
shoulders,  were  marching  to  their  camp  just  on  the  out- 
skirts of  the  seaport  town  of .    Within  another  hour 

the  whole  regiment  was  under  canvas,  field-desks  and 
typewriter-chests  were  unlocked,  and  regimental  and 
other  department  offices  were  running  along  at  full 
swing. 

And  that  was  the  beginning  of  the  period  of  training 
during  which  the  marine  is  learning  everything  that  is 
to  be  known  about  waging  twentieth-century  warfare. 
He  is  taking  a  post-graduate  course  in  the  intricacies  of 
modern  trench-building,  grenade-throwing,  and  barbed- 
wire  entanglements.  And  the  very  best  men  of  the 
French  Army  are  his  instructors. 

The  marine  is  also  learning  the  "lingo"  of  this  coun- 
try, the  nicer  phrases  of  the  language  as  well  as  the 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        153 

slang  of  the  trenches.  But  in  the  majority  of  cases 
experience  was  his  teacher.  Upon  the  arrival  of  the 
transport  liberty  hours  were  arranged  for  the  marines, 
and,  armed  with  a  "Short  Vocabulary  of  French  Words 
and  Phrases/'  with  which  all  had  been  supplied,  they 
invaded  the  cafes,  restaurants,  and  shops  of  the  little 
old  seaport  town. 

And  it  was  the  restaurants  where  one's  ignorance  of 
French  was  most  keenly  felt.  All  sorts  of  queer  and  yet 
strangely  familiar  noises  emanated  from  the  curtained 
windows  of  the  buvettes  along  the  streets.  Upon  inves- 
tigation it  would  be  discovered  that  a  marine,  having  lost 
his  "vocabulary/'  was  flapping  his  arms  and  cackling  for 
eggs,  earnestly  baahing  for  a  lamb  stew,  or  grunting  to 
the  best  of  his  ability  in  a  vain  endeavor  to  make 
madame  understand  that  he  wanted  roast  pork.  Imagine 
his  chagrin  to  find  that  "pig"  and  "pork,"  as  shown  on 
page  16,  are  "pore"  in  French  and  are  pronounced  just 
the  same  as  in  good  old  American.  But  the  scenes  that 
presented  themselves  on  Sundays  or  fete  days — take  the 
4th  or  14th  of  July,  for  example — were  such  as  never 
had  been  seen  in  any  French  town  before.  Picture  a 
tiny  cafe,  low  and  whitewashed,  ancient,  weather-beaten, 
but  immaculately  clean,  with  its  heavy  ceiling-beams 
and  huge  fireplace  with  brass  and  copper  furnishings. 
With  this  background  imagine  just  as  many  tables  as  the 
little  place  can  hold  about  which  are  crowded  French 
and  American  soldiers,  sailors,  and  marines. 

The  table  in  the  corner  there,  for  instance :  two  poilus, 
two  American  "jackies,"  two  marines,  and  an  old  Breton 
peasant  farmer  with  his  wife,  fat,  uncomprehending, 
and  wild-eyed,  and  his  daughter,  red-lipped  and  of  fair 


154       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

complexion — these  three  in  from  the  country  for  a  holi- 
day, the  women  arrayed  in  the  black  cloth  and  velvet 
costumes,  bright-colored  silk  aprons,  and  elaborate  linen 
head-dress  which  identify  them  as  native  of  a  certain 
locality. 

One  of  the  "jackies"  sings  with  gusto  service  songs 
of  strong  and  colorful  language,  singing  to  himself  save 
for  the  half-amused  and  wondering  stares  of  the  peas- 
ants. The  younger  of  the  Frenchmen  shows  by  taking 
off  his  coat  and  unbuttoning  his  shirt  where  the  shell- 
fragment  penetrated  which  caused  the  paralysis  in  his 
left  arm  and  sent  him  home  on  a  month's  furlough,  and 
the  Americans  eye  with  interest  the  actual  fragment 
itself,  now  doing  duty  as  a  watch-charm. 

But  the  hubbub  and  racket  cease,  and  every  one  rushes 
to  the  windows  and  door  as  the  Marine  Band  comes 
swinging  along  the  water-front,  playing  with  catching 
rhythm  "Our  Director."  The  French  burst  out  in  cries 
of  "Vive  VAmerique!"  The  fever  spreads,  and  our 
soldiers  and  sailors  yell  "Vive  la  France!"  or  as  near  to 
it  as  they  can  get,  as  the  procession  marches  by,  and  the 
fat  old  peasant  woman  says  with  full  approval,  "That's 
beautiful !" 

Another  letter  from  the  permanent  training-camp  of 
the  marines,  published  in  The  Recruiters'  Bulletin, 
tells  of  an  inspection  of  the  regiment  by  General  Persh- 
ing and  General  Petain,  the  French  Commander-in- 
Chief.  We  read  "that  the  piercing  eyes  of  'Black  Jack' 
rarely  miss  an  unshaven  face,  badly  polished  shoes,  or 
the  sloppy  appearance  of  anyone"  among  the  soldiers 
under  inspection,  and  the  writer  relates : 

Together   with   the   Commander-in-Chief  of   all   the 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        155 

French  forces  and  accompanied  by  several  French  gen- 
erals, representing  the  most  important  military  units  in 
France,  General  Pershing  made  one  of  his  now  famous 
whirlwind  inspection  tours  and  descended  upon  the 
marines  amid  a  cloud  of  dust  which  marked  the  line  of 
travel  of  the  high-powered  French  touring-cars  which 
carried  the  generals.  Not  so  very  long  before  that  the 
field-telephone  in  the  regimental  office  rang  and  a  voice 
came  over  the  wire: 

"The  big  blue  machine  is  on  the  way  down,  and 
will  probably  be  there  in  ten  minutes."  That  was  suffi- 
cient. Two  or  three  telephone-calls  were  hurriedly 
made,  and  the  Colonel,  accompanied  by  his  staff,  pro- 
ceeded on  "up  the  line,"  met  the  General's  party,  and 
the  marines  were  ready. 

The  result  of  the  inspection  is  summed  up  in  the 
memorandum  issued  to  the  command  and  which  says  in 
part:   "Yesterday,  at  the  inspection  of  the  regiment  by 

General  ,  Commander-in-Chief  of  all  the  French 

forces,  General  Pershing,  Commander-in-Chief  of  the 
American  forces  in  France,  and  General  ,  com- 
manding the Division  Chasseurs,  who  are  instruct- 
ing our  men,  General  congratulated  the  Colonel 

of  our  regiment  on  the  splendid  appearance  of  officers 
and  men  as  well  as  the  cleanliness  of  the  town.  General 
Pershing  personally  told  the  regimental  commander  that 
he  wished  to  congratulate  him  on  having  such  an  excel- 
lent regiment." 

This  announcement  was  read  to  the  marines  as  they 
were  lined  up  for  their  noonday  meal.  And  where  is 
the  marine  whose  chest  would  not  swell  just  a  bit  at 
this  tribute  paid  by  General  Pershing  to  those  upon 


156       STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES 

whose  shoulders  rests  the  responsibility  of  maintaining 
and  perpetuating  the  glorious  history  and  fine  tradi- 
tions of  the  United  States  Marine  Corps  ? 


JUDGING  BY  HIS  LETTERS 

"Where's  your  uncle,  Tommy?" 

"In  France." 

"What  is  he  doing?" 

"I  think  he  has  charge  of  the  war." 


BLESS  THESE  AMATEURS 

'What  are  you  knitting,  my  pretty  maid?" 
She  purled,  then  dropped  a  stitch. 

'A  sock  or  a  sweater,  sir,"  she  said, 
"And  darned  if  I  know  which !" 


NEW   GROUNDS   FOR   EXEMPTION 

The  two  young  girls  watched  the  "nutty  young  Cuth- 
bert"  pass  along  the  street. 

"Did  he  appeal  for  exemption?"  said  May. 

"Yes,"  said  Ray,  "you  might  have  known  he  would." 

"On  what  grounds  ?" 

"I  don't  know,"  replied  Ray,  "unless  it  was  upon  the 
ground  that  if  he  went  to  the  war  his  wife's  father  would 
have  no  son-in-law  to  support." 


STORIES  FROM  THE  TRENCHES        157 

SOUSA'S  LITTLE  JOKE 

Lieut.  John  Philip  Sousa,  who  is  organizing  military 
bands  for  the  navy,  was  talking  to  a  correspondent  about 
the  submarine  danger. 

"A  friend  of  mine,  a  cornet  virtuoso,"  he  said,  "was 
submarined  in  the  Mediterranean.  The  English  paper 
that  reported  the  affair  worded  it  thus : 

"  'The  famous  cornetist,  Mr.  Hornblower,  though  sub- 
marined by  the  Germans  in  the  Mediterranean,  was  able 
to  appear  at  Marseilles  the  following  evening  in  four 
pieces.' " 


RAPID  MILITARY  ADVANCEMENT 

A  certain  west  end  tailor,  being  owed  a  considerable 
amount  by  a  colonel  who  was  received  everywhere  in 
society,  made  a  bargain  with  the  gentleman.  He  stipu- 
lated that  instead  of  paying  his  debt,  the  colonel  should 
introduce  himself  and  family  into  high  society.  To  this 
the  colonel  agreed  and  not  long  after  the  tailor  received 
an  invitation  to  dinner. 

When  the  tailor  arrived  in  the  full  glory  of  a  perfect 
evening  dress,  the  colonel  did  not  recognize  him. 

"Pardon  me,  my  dear  fellow,"  he  said  quietly,  as  he 
shook  hands,  "I  quite  forget  your  name!" 

"Quite  likely!"  sneered  the  tailor,  also  sotto  voce. 
"But  I  made  your  breeches !" 

"Ah,  yes !"  said  the  colonel,  smiling.  And  then,  turn- 
ing to  his  wife,  said :  "Allow  me  to  introduce  you,  dear 
— Major  Bridges!" 


FORD  SMILES 


160  Page*.  Paper  Covert.  Price  30  cent* 

BY  CARLETON  B.  CASE. 


(Spring  of  1917.)  The  very  newest,  largest  and 
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the  Ford  car,  all  good-natured  and  laughable,  with 
nothing  to  offend  even  Mr.  Henry  Ford  himself. 
The  author  went  to  Detroit  and  obtained  some  of 
the  new  jokes  in  this  book  right  at  the  Ford  fac- 
tory. You  can't  help  laughing,  whether  you  own 
a  Ford  car  or  not,  at  the  funny  things  in  "Ford 
Smiles/'  When  you  get  this  book  of  humor  we  ask 
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ANECDOTES  OF  THE  GREAT 
WAR 

Gathered  from  European  Sources 

160  Pages  Paper  Covers  Price  30  Cents 

BY  CARLETON  B.  CASE 

(Just  off  the  press. )  The  funny  things 
which  the  combatants  say  and  do  in  the 
present  great  conflict  in  Europe  and  Asia, 
the  recruits'  blunders,  the  stay-at-homes' 
excuses,  the  bulls  of  the  Irish  fighters,  the 
jokes  on  the  officers  and  on  the  lads  in  the 
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this  book  in  great  detail.  It  is  the  only 
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