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Ex  Libris 
C.  K.  OGDEN 


THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO 
CONCLUDED 


ADVERTISEMENT. 

For  over  25  years,  I  have  made  it  my  chief  object, 
with  regard  to  my  books,  that  they  should  be  of  the 
best  workmanship  attainable  for  the  price.  And  I 
am  deeply  annoyed  to  find  that  the  last  issue  of 
"  Through  the  Looking-Glass,"  consisting  of  the 
Sixtieth  Thousand,  has  been  put  on  sale  without  its 
being  noticed  that  most  of  the  pictures  have  failed 
so  much,  in  the  printing,  as  to  make  the  book  not 
worth  buying.  I  request  all  holders  of  copies  to 
send  them  to  Messrs.  Macmillan  &  Co.,  29  Bedford 
Street,  Covent  Garden,  with  their  names  and 
addresses ;  and  copies  of  the  next  issue  shall  be 
sent  them  in  exchange. 

Instead,  however,  of  destroying  the  unsold  copies, 
I  propose  to  utilise  them  by  giving  them  away,  to 
Mechanics'  Institutes,  Village  Reading-Rooms,  and 
similar  institutions,  where  the  means  for  purchasing 
such  books  are  scanty.  Accordingly  I  invite  appli- 
cations for  such  gifts,  addressed  to  me,  "  care  of 
Messrs.  Macmillan."  Every  such  application  should 
be  signed  by  some  responsible  person,  and  should 
state  how  far  they  are  able  to  buy  books  for  them- 
selves, and  what  is  the  average  number  of  readers. 

I  take  this  opportunity  of  announcing  that,  if 
at  any  future  time  I  should  wish  to  communicate 
anything  to  my  Readers,  I  will  do  so  by  advertising, 
in  the  'Agony'  Column  of  some  of  the  Daily  Papers, 
#n  the  first  Tuesday  in  the  month. 

LEWIS  CARROLL. 

Christmas,  1893. 


[See  p.  304. 


SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO 
CONCLUDED 


WITH    FORTY-SIX    ILLUSTRATIONS 

BY 
HARRY  FURNISS 


PRICE   THREE  HALF-CROWNS 

Slontion 
MAC  MILL  AN     AND     CO. 

AND    NEW    YORK 
'893 

The  Right  of  Translation  and  Reproduction  is  Reserved 


RICHARD  CLAY  AND  SONS,  LIMITED 
LONDON  AND  BUNGAY. 


Library 


Breams,  tijat  elutie  tfje  SJBafcer's  fren^teti  grasp- 
Mantis,  starfc  ant  still,  on  a  fceafc  ^ftotfjer's  fcreast, 
nebermorc  stall  render  clasp  for  clasp, 
j)  sootfje  a  toeeptng  CfjiltJ  to  rest— 
Jn  sucfjltfee  forms  me  listed  to  portraj) 
Cale,  fjere  entjeti.     ^Tijou  tjeltcious 


Cfje  guardian  of  a  Spttte  tfjat  libes  to  tease  tfjee— 
ILobing  in  earnest,  carting  tut  in  plaj) 
C^e  merrj)  mocking  iSruno!    SHto,  tfjat  sees  tfjee, 
(Kan  fail  to  lobe  tfjee,  Barling,  eben  as  !?— 
stoeetest  5Blbte,  toe  must  sag  ' 


icsiros 


PREFACE. 

I  MUST  begin  with  the  same  announcement  as  in 
the  previous  Volume  (which  I  shall  henceforward 
refer  to  as  "Vol.  I.,"  calling  the  present  Volume 
"Vol.  II."),  viz.  that  the  Locket,  at  p.  405,  was  drawn 
by  '  Miss  Alice  Havers.'  And  my  reason,  for  not 

stating  this  on  the  title-page that  it  seems  only 

due,  to  the  artist  of  these  wonderful  pictures,  that 

his  name  should  stand  there  alone has,    I    think, 

even  greater  weight  in  Vol.  II.  than  it  had  in  Vol.  I. 
Let  me  call  especial  attention  to  the  three  "  Little 
Birds"  borders,  at  pp.  365,  371,  377.  The  way,  in 
which  he  has  managed  to  introduce  the  most  minute 
details  of  the  stanzas  to  be  illustrated,  seems  to  me 
a  triumph  of  artistic  ingenuity. 

Let  me  here  express  my  sincere  gratitude  to  the 
many  Reviewers  who  have  noticed,  whether  favorably 
or  unfavorably,  the  previous  Volume.  Their  unfavor- 
able remarks  were,  most  probably,  well-deserved  ; 
the  favorable  ones  less  probably  so.  Both  kinds 
have  no  doubt  served  to  make  the  book  known,  and 
have  helped  the  reading  Public  to  form  their  opinions 
of  it.  Let  me  also  here  assure  them  that  it  is  not 
from  any  want  of  respect  for  their  criticisms,  that  I 


x  PREFACE. 

have  carefully  forborne  from  reading  any  of  them. 
I  am  strongly  of  opinion  that  an  author  had  far 
better  not  read  any  reviews  of  his  books :  the  un- 
favorable ones  are  almost  certain  to  make  him 
cross,  and  the  favorable  ones  conceited  ;  and  neither 
of  these  results  is  desirable. 

Criticisms  have,  however,  reached  me  from  private 
sources,  to  some  of  which  I  propose  to  offer  a  reply. 

One  such  critic  complains  that  Arthur's  strictures, 
on  sermons  and  on  choristers,  are  too  severe.  Let  me 
say,  in  reply,  that  I  do  not  hold  myself  responsible 
for  any  of  the  opinions  expressed  by  the  characters 
in  my  book.  They  are  simply  opinions  which,  it 
seemed  to  me,  might  probably  be  held  by  the  persons 
into  whose  mouths  I  put  them,  and  which  were 
worth  consideration. 

Other  critics  have  objected  to  certain  innovations 
in  spelling,  such  as  "  ca'n't,"  "  wo'n't,"  "  traveler."  In 
reply,  I  can  only  plead  my  firm  conviction  that  the 
popular  usage  is  wrong.  As  to  "ca'n't,"  it  will  not 
be  disputed  that,  in  all  other  words  ending  in  "  n't," 
these  letters  are  an  abbreviation  of  "  not  "  ;  and  it  is 
surely  absurd  to  suppose  that,  in  this  solitary  instance, 
"  not  "  is  represented  by  "  't "  !  In  fact  "  can't  "  is 
\heproper  abbreviation  for  "can  it,"  just  as  "is't"  is 
for  "  is  it."  Again,  in  "  wo'n't,"  the  first  apostrophe 
is  needed,  because  the  word  "  would  "  is  here  abridged 
into  "  wo "  :  but  I  hold  it  proper  to  spell  "  don't  " 
with  only  one  apostrophe,  because  the  word  "  do  "  is 
here  complete.  As  to  such  words  as  "  traveler,"  I 
hold  the  correct  principle  to  be,  to  double  the  con- 


PREFACE.  xi 

sonant  when  the  accent  falls  on  that  syllable ;  other- 
wise to  leave  it  single.  This  rule  is  observed  in  most 
cases  (e.g.  we  double  the  "  r "  in  "  preferred,"  but 
leave  it  single  in  "offered"),  so  that  I  am  only  ex- 
tending, to  other  cases,  an  existing  rule.  I  admit, 
however,  that  I  do  not  spell  "  parallel,"  as  the  rule 
would  have  it ;  but  here  we  are  constrained,  by  the 
etymology,  to  insert  the  double  "  1  ". 

In  the  Preface  to  Vol.  I.  were  two  puzzles,  on  which 
my  readers  might  exercise  their  ingenuity.  One  was, 
to  detect  the  3  lines  of  "  padding,"  which  I  had  found 
it  necessary  to  supply  in  the  passage  extending  from 
the  top  of  p.  35  to  the  middle  of  p.  38.  They  are 
the  I4th,  1 5th,  and  i6th  lines  of  p.  37.  The  other 
puzzle  was,  to  determine  which  (if  any)  of  the  8 
stanzas  of  the  Gardener's  Song  (see  pp.  65,  78,  83, 
90,  1 06,  1 1 6,  164,  1 68)  were  adapted  to  the  context, 
and  which  (if  any)  had  the  context  adapted  to  them. 
The  last  of  them  is  the  only  one  that  was  adapted  to 
the  context,  the  "  Garden-Door  that  opened  with  a 
key"  having  been  substituted  for  some  creature  (a 
Cormorant,  I  think)  "  that  nestled  in  a  tree."  At 
pp.  78,  1 06,  and  164,  the  context  was  adapted  to  the 
stanza.  At  p.  90,  neither  stanza  nor  context  was 
altered  :  the  connection  between  them  was  simply  a 
piece  of  good  luck. 

In  the  Preface  to  Vol.  1.,  at  pp.  ix.,  x.,  I  gave  an 
account  of  the  making-up  of  the  story  of  "  Sylvie  and 
Bruno."  A  few  more  details  may  perhaps  be  accept- 
able to  my  Readers. 


xii  PREFACE. 

It  was  in  1873,  as  I  now  believe,  that  the  idea 
first  occurred  to  me  that  a  little  fairy-tale  (written, 
in  1867,  for  "Aunt  Judy's  Magazine,"  under  the  title 
"  Bruno's  Revenge  ")  might  serve  as  the  nucleus  of  a 
longer  story.  This  I  surmise,  from  having  found  the 
original  draft  of  the  last  paragraph  of  Vol.  II.,  dated 
1873.  So  that  this  paragraph  has  been  waiting  20 

years  for  its  chance  of  emerging  into  print more 

than  twice  the  period  so  cautiously  recommended  by 
Horace  for  '  repressing  '  one's  literary  efforts  ! 

It  was  in  February,  1885,  that  I  entered  into  nego- 
tiations, with  Mr.  Harry  Furniss,  for  illustrating  the 
book.  Most  of  the  substance  of  both  Volumes  was 
then  in  existence  in  manuscript :  and  my  original 
intention  was  to  publish  the  whole  story  at  once. 
In  September,  1885,  I  received  from  Mr.  Furniss  the 

first   set    of    drawings the    four    which    illustrate 

"Peter  and  Paul"  (see  I.  pp.  144,  147,  150,  154):  in 

November,   1886,   I    received    the   second    set the 

three  which  illustrate  the  Professor's  song  about  the 
"little  man"  who  had  "a  little  gun"  (Vol.  II.  pp. 
265,  266,  267):  and  in  January,  1887,  I  received  the 
third  set the  four  which  illustrate  the  "  Pig-Tale." 

So  we  went  on,  illustrating  first  one  bit  of  the 
story,  and  then  another,  without  any  idea  of  sequence. 
And  it  was  not  till  March,  1889,  that,  having  calcu- 
lated the  number  of  pages  the  story  would  occupy,  I 
decided  on  dividing  it  into  two  portions,  and  publish- 
ing it  half  at  a  time.  This  necessitated  the  writing 
of  a  sort  of  conclusion  for  the  first  Volume  :  and  most 
of  my  Readers,  I  fancy,  regarded  this  as  the  actual 


PREFACE.  xiii 

conclusion,  when  that  Volume  appeared  in  December, 
1889.  At  any  rate,  among  all  the  letters  I  received 
about  it,  there  was  only  one  which  expressed  any  sus- 
picion that  it  was  not  a  final  conclusion.  This  letter 
was  from  a  child.  She  wrote  "  we  were  so  glad, 
when  we  came  to  the  end  of  the  book,  to  find  that 
there  was  no  ending-up,  for  that  shows  us  that  you 
are  going  to  write  a  sequel." 

It  may  interest  some  of  my  Readers  to  know  the 
theory  on  which  this  story  is  constructed.  It  is  an 
attempt  to  show  what  might  possibly  happen,  suppos- 
ing that  Fairies  really  existed ;  and  that  they  were 
sometimes  visible  to  us,  and  we  to  them  ;  and  that 
they  were  sometimes  able  to  assume  human  form : 
and  supposing,  also,  that  human  beings  might  some- 
times become  conscious  of  what  goes  on  in  the  Fairy- 
world by  actual  transference  of  their  immaterial 

essence,  such  as  we  meet  with  in '  Esoteric  Buddhism.' 

I  have  supposed  a  Human  being  to  be  capable  of 
various  psychical  states,  with  varying  degrees  of 
consciousness,  as  follows  : — 

(a)  the  ordinary  state,  with  no  consciousness  of  the 
presence  of  Fairies  ; 

(<£)  the  '  eerie '  state,  in  which,  while  conscious  of 
actual  surroundings,  he  is  also  conscious  of  the  pre- 
sence of  Fairies  ; 

(c)  a  form  of  trance,  in  which,  while  ?^zconscious 
of  actual  surroundings,  and  apparently  asleep,  he  (i.e. 
his  immaterial  essence)  migrates  to  other  scenes,  in 
the  actual  world,  or  in  Fairyland,  and  is  conscious  of 
the  presence  of  Fairies. 


PREFACE. 


i  have  also  supposed  a  Fairy  to  be  capable  of  mi- 
grating from  Fairyland  into  the  actual  world,  and 
of  assuming,  at  pleasure,  a  Human  form  ;  and  also 
to  be  capable  of  various  psychical  states,  viz. 

(a)  the  ordinary  state,  with  no  consciousness  of 
the  presence  of  Human  beings  ; 

(b}  a  sort  of  '  eerie  '  state,  in  which  he  is  conscious, 
if  in  the  actual  world,  of  the  presence  of  actual  Human 
beings ;  if  in  Fairyland,  of  the  presence  of  the  im- 
material essences  of  Human  beings. 

I  will  here  tabulate  the  passages,  in  both  Volumes, 
where  abnormal  states  occur. 


Vol.  I. 

Historian's  Locality  and  State. 

Other  characters. 

pp.  i  —  16 
33—  55 
65—  79 
83—  99 
105—117 
119  —  183 

190  —  221 
225—233 

247—253 
262,    263 
263  —  269 

b 

a. 
c 

b 
b 
c 
a. 
a 
b 

Chancellor  (£)  p.  2. 

S.  and  B.  (6)  pp.  158—163. 
Professor  (b)  p.  169. 
Bruno  (b)  pp.  198—220. 
S.  and  B.  (/>). 
do.         (b). 

S.  B.  and   Professor  in   Human 
form. 

S.  and  B.  (/,). 
S.  B.  and  Professor  (b). 
S.  and  B.  in  Human  form. 

S.  and  B.  (b). 

do  

do  

At  lodgings  

On  beach      
At  lodgings  

do.     sleep-walking  •     . 
Among  ruins    

do.             dreaming  .    . 
do.             sleep-walking 

279—294 
304—323 
329—344 
345—356 
361  382 

In  garden     

Vol.  II. 
pp.4—  1  8 
47—  52 

53—  7? 
79-  92 

152  211 
212  246 
262  270 
304—309 
3"—345 
351—399 

407  —  end. 

b 
b 
b 
b 
a 
c 
c 
b 
c 
c 

b 

S.  and  B.  (b). 
do          (b). 
do          in  Human  form, 
do          (b). 
do          in  Human  form, 
do         (b). 
do         (b). 
do         (a)  ;  Lady  Muriel  (i). 

do  

do  

In  drawing-room    .... 
do.                .... 
In  smoking-room    .... 
In  wood    

do  

do  

PREFACE  xv 

In  the  Preface  to  Vol.  I.,  at  p.  x.,  I  gave  an  account 
of  the  origination  of  some  of  the  ideas  embodied  in 
the  book.  A  few  more  such  details  may  perhaps  in- 
terest my  Readers : 

I.  p.  203.  The  very  peculiar  use,  here  made  of  a 
dead  mouse,  comes  from  real  life.  I  once  found  two 
very  small  boys,  in  a  garden,  playing  a  microscopic 
game  of  c  Single-Wicket.'  The  bat  was,  I  think,  about 
the  size  of  a  table-spoon  ;  and  the  utmost  distance 
attained  by  the  ball,  in  its  most  daring  flights,  was 
some  4  or  5  yards.  The  exact  length  was  of  course  a 
matter  of  supreme  importance  ;  and  it  was  always 
carefully  measured  out  (the  batsman  and  the  bowler 
amicably  sharing  the  toil)  with  a  dead  mouse ! 

I.  p.    259.  The  two   quasi-mathematical   Axioms, 
quoted  by  Arthur  at  p.  259  of  Vol.  I.,  ("  Things  that 
are   greater   than   the   same    are    greater   than    one 
another,"  and  "  All  angles  are  equal ")  were  actually 
enunciated,  in  all  seriousness,  by  undergraduates  at  a 
University  situated  not  100  miles  from  Ely. 

II.  p.  10.    Bruno's  remark  ("  I  can,  if  I  like,  &c.") 
was  actually  made  by  a  little  boy. 

II.  p.  12.  So  also  was  his  remark  ("  I  know  what 
it  doesn't  spell.")  And  his  remark  ("  I  just  twiddled 
my  eyes,  &c.")  I  heard  from  the  lips  of  a  little  girl, 
who  had  just  solved  a  puzzle  I  had  set  her. 

II.  p.  55.  Bruno's  soliloquy  ("For  its  father,  &c.") 
was  actually  spoken  by  a  little  girl,  looking  out  of 
the  window  of  a  railway-carriage. 

II.  p.  138.  The  remark,  made  by  a  guest  at  the 
dinner-party,  when  asking  for  a  dish  of  fruit  ("  I've 


xvi  PREFACE. 

been  wishing  for  them,  &c.")  I  heard  made  by  the 
great  Poet-Laureate,  whose  loss  the  whole  reading- 
world  has  so  lately  had  to  deplore. 

II.  p.  163.  Bruno's  speech,  on  the  subject  of  the 
age  of  '  Mein  Herr,'  embodies  the  reply  of  a  little 
girl  to  the  question  "  Is  your  grandmother  an  old 
lady  ? "  "  I  don't  know  if  she's  an  old  lady,"  said  this 
cautious  young  person  ;  "  she's  eighty-three." 

II.  p.  203.  The  speech  about  'Obstruction'  is  no 
mere  creature  of  my  imagination !  It  is  copied  ver- 
batim from  the  columns  of  the  Standard,  and  was 
spoken  by  Sir  William  Harcourt,  who  was,  at  the 
time,  a  member  of  the  '  Opposition,'  at  the  '  National 
Liberal  Club,'  on  July  the  i6th,  1890. 

II.  p.  329.  The  Professor's  remark,  about  a  dog's 
tail,  that  "  it  doesn't  bite  at  that  end,"  was  actually 
made  by  a  child,  when  warned  of  the  danger  he  was 
incurring  by  pulling  the  dog's  tail. 

II.  p.  374.  The  dialogue  between  Sylvie  and  Bruno, 
which  occupies  lines  6  to  15,  is  a  verbatim  report 
(merely  substituting  "cake"  for  "penny")  of  a  dia- 
logue overheard  between  two  children. 

One  story  in  this  Volume '  Bruno's  Picnic  '- 

I  can  vouch  for  as  suitable  for  telling  to  children, 
having  tested  it  again  and  again  ;  and,  whether  my 
audience  has  been  a  dozen  little  girls  in  a  village- 
school,  or  some  thirty  or  forty  in  a  London  drawing- 
room,  or  a  hundred  in  a  High  School,  I  have  always 
found  them  earnestly  attentive,  and  keenly  appreci- 
ative of  such  fun  as  the  story  supplied. 


PREFACE.  xvii 

May  I  take  this  opportunity  of  calling  attention  to 
what  I  flatter  myself  was  a  successful  piece  of  name- 
coining,  at  p.  42  of  Vol.  I.  Does  not  the  name 
'  Sibimet '  fairly  embody  the  character  of  the  Sub- 
Warden  ?  The  gentle  Reader  has  no  doubt  observed 
what  a  singularly  useless  article  in  a  house  a  brazen 
trumpet  is,  if  you  simply  leave  it  lying  about,  and 
never  blow  it ! 

Readers  of  the  first  Volume,  who  have  amused 
themselves  by  trying  to  solve  the  two  puzzles  pro- 
pounded at  pp.  xi.,  xii.  of  the  Preface,  may  perhaps 
like  to  exercise  their  ingenuity  in  discovering  which 
(if  any)  of  the  following  parallelisms  were  intentional, 
and  which  (if  any)  accidental. 

"  Little  Birds."  Events,  and  Persons. 


Stanza     i.  Banquet. 

2.  Chancellor. 

3.  Empress  and  Spinach  (II.  325). 

4.  Warden's  Return. 

5.  Professor's  Lecture  (II.  339). 

6.  Other  Professor's  song  (I.  138' 

7.  Petting  of  Uggug. 

8.  Baron  Doppelgeist. 

9.  Jester  and  Bear  (I.  119).     Little  Foxes. 
10.  Bruno's  Dinner-Bell  ;  Little  Foxes. 

I  will  publish  the  answer  to  this  puzzle  in  the 
Preface  to  a  little  book  of  "  Original  Games  and 
Puzzles,"  now  in  course  of  preparation. 

b 


xviii  PREFACE. 

I  have  reserved,  for  the  last,  one  or  two  rather  more 
serious  topics. 

I  had  intended,  in  this  Preface,  to  discuss  more 
fully,  than  I  had  done  in  the  previous  Volume,  the 
'  Morality  of  Sport ',  with  special  reference  to  letters 
I  have  received  from  lovers  of  Sport,  in  which  they 
point  out  the  many  great  advantages  which  men  get 
from  it,  and  try  to  prove  that  the  suffering,  which  it 
inflicts  on  animals,  is  too  trivial  to  be  regarded. 

But,  when  I  came  to  think  the  subject  out,  and  to 
arrange  the  whole  of  the  arguments  '  pro  '  and  '  con  ', 
I  found  it  much  too  large  for  treatment  here.  Some 
day,  I  hope  to  publish  an  essay  on  this  subject.  At 
present,  I  will  content  myself  with  stating  the  net 
result  I  have  arrived  at. 

It  is,  that  God  has  given  to  Man  an  absolute  right 
to  take  the  lives  of  other  animals,  for  any  reasonable 
cause,  such  as  the  supply  of  food  :  but  that  He  has 
not  given  to  Man  the  right  to  inflict  pain,  unless 
when  necessary:  that  mere  pleasure,  or  advantage, 
does  not  constitute  such  a  necessity :  and,  con- 
sequently, that  pain,  inflicted  for  the  purposes  of 
Sport,  is  cruel,  and  therefore  wrong.  But  I  find  it  a 
far  more  complex  question  than  I  had  supposed  ; 
and  that  the  '  case ',  on  the  side  of  the  Sportsman,  is 
a  much  stronger  one  than  I  had  supposed.  So,  for 
the  present,  I  say  no  more  about  it. 

Objections  have  been  raised  to  the  severe  language 
I  have  put  into  the  mouth  of  '  Arthur ',  at  p.  277,  on 


PREFACE.  xix 

the  subject  of  *  Sermons,'  and  at  pp.  273,  274,  on  the 
subjects  of  Choral  Services  and  '  Choristers.' 

I  have  already  protested  against  the  assumption 
that  I  am  ready  to  endorse  the  opinions  of  characters 
in  my  story.  But,  in  these  two  instances,  I  admit 
that  I  am  much  in  sympathy  with  '  Arthur.'  In  my 
opinion,  far  too  many  sermons  are  expected  from  our 
preachers ;  and,  as  a  consequence,  a  great  many  are 
preached,  which  are  not  worth  listening  to  ;  and,  as  a 
consequence  of  that,  we  are  very  apt  not  to  listen. 
The  reader  of  this  paragraph  probably  heard  a  sermon 
last  Sunday  morning  ?  Well,  let  him,  if  he  can,  name 
the  text,  and  state  how  the  preacher  treated  it ! 

Then,  as-to  '  Choristers,'  and  all  the  other  accessories 

— of  music,    vestments,    processions,    &c., which 

have  come,  along  with  them,  into  fashion while  freely 

admitting  that  the  '  Ritual '  movement  was  sorely 
needed,  and  that  it  has  effected  a  vast  improvement 
in  our  Church-Services,  which  had  become  dead  and 
dry  to  the  last  degree,  I  hold  that,  like  many  other 
desirable  movements,  it  has  gone  too  far  in  the  oppo- 
site direction,  and  has  introduced  many  new  dangers. 

For  the  Congregation  this  new  movement  involves 
the  danger  of  learning  to  think  that  the  Services  are 
done  for  them  ;  and  that  their  bodily  presence  is  all 
they  need  contribute.  And,  for  Clergy  and  Con- 
gregation alike,  it  involves  the  danger  of  regarding 
these  elaborate  Services  as  ends  in  themselves,  and 
of  forgetting  that  they  are  simply  means,  and  the 
very  hollo  west  of  mockeries,  unless  they  bear  fruit  in 
our  lives. 

b   2 


xx  PREFACE. 

For  the  Choristers  it  seems  to  involve  the  danger 
of  self-conceit,  as  described  at  p.  274  (N.B.  "  stagy- 
entrances  "  is  a  misprint  for  "  stage-entrances  "),  the 
danger  of  regarding  those  parts  of  the  Service,  where 
their  help  is  not  required,  as  not  worth  attending  to, 
the  danger  of  coming  to  regard  the  Service  as  a  mere 

outward  form a  series  of  postures  to  be  assumed, 

and  of  words  to  be  said  or  sung,  while  the  thoughts 

are  elsewhere and  the  danger  of  '  familiarity ' 

breeding  '  contempt '  for  sacred  things. 

Let  me  illustrate  these  last  two  forms  of  danger, 
from  my  own  experience.  Not  long  ago,  I  attended 
a  Cathedral-Service,  and  was  placed  immediately 
behind  a  row  of  men,  members  of  the  Choir ;  and  I 
could  not  help  noticing  that  they  treated  the  Lessons 
as  a  part  of  the  Service  to  which  they  needed  not  to 
give  any  attention,  and  as  affording  them  a  convenient 
opportunity  for  arranging  music-books,  &c.,  &c.  Also 
I  have  frequently  seen  a  row  of  little  choristers,  after 
marching  in  procession  to  their  places,  kneel  down,  as 
if  about  to  pray,  and  rise  from  their  knees  after  a 
minute  spent  in  looking  about  them,  it  being  but  too 
evident  that  the  attitude  was  a  mere  mockery.  Surely 
it  is  very  dangerous,  for  these  children,  to  thus  ac- 
custom them  to  pretend  to  pray  ?  As  an  instance  of 
irreverent  treatment  of  holy  things,  I  will  mention  a 
custom,  which  no  doubt  many  of  my  readers  have 
noticed  in  Churches  where  the  Clergy  and  Choir  enter 
in  procession,  viz.  that,  at  the  end  of  the  private  de- 
votions, which  are  carried  on  in  the  vestry,  and  which 
are  of  course  inaudible  to  the  Congregation,  the  final 


PREFACE.  xxi 

"  Amen "  is  shouted,  loud  enough  to  be  heard  all 
through  the  Church.  This  serves  as  a  signal,  to  the 
Congregation,  to  prepare  to  rise  when  the  procession 
appears  :  and  it  admits  of  no  dispute  that  it  is  for  this 
purpose  that  it  is  thus  shouted.  When  we  remember 
to  Whom  that  "  Amen  "  is  really  addressed,  and  con- 
sider that  it  is  here  used  for  the  same  purpose  as  one 
of  the  Church-bells,  we  must  surely  admit  that  it  is  a 
piece  of  gross  irreverence  ?  To  me  it  is  much  as  if 
I  were  to  see  a  Bible  used  as  a  footstool. 

As  an  instance  of  the  dangers,  .for  the  Clergy 
themselves,  introduced  by  this  new  movement,  let 
me  mention  the  fact  that,  according  to  my  experi- 
ence, Clergymen  of  this  school  are  specially  apt  to 
retail  comic  anecdotes,  in  which  the  most  sacred 

names  and  words sometimes  actual  texts  from 

the  Bible are  used  as  themes  for  jesting.  Many 

such  things  are  repeated  as  having  been  originally 
said  by  children,  whose  utter  ignorance  of  evil  must 
no  doubt  acquit  them,  in  the  sight  of  God,  of  all 
blame  ;  but  it  must  be  otherwise  for  those  who 
consciously  use  such  innocent  utterances  as  material 
for  their  unholy  mirth. 

Let  me  add,  however,  most  earnestly,  that  I  fully 
believe  that  this  profanity  is,  in  many  cases,  wwcon- 
scious  :  the  '  environment '  (as  I  have  tried  to  explain 
at  p.  123)  makes  all  the  difference  between  man  and 
man  ;  and  I  rejoice  to  think  that  many  of  these  pro- 
fane stories which  /  find  so  painful  to  listen  to, 

and  should  feel  it  a  sin  to  repeat give  to  their  ears 

no  pain,  and  to  their  consciences  no  shock  ;  and  that 


xxii  PREFACE. 

they  can  utter,  not  less  sincerely  than  myself,  the 
two  prayers,  "  Hallowed  be  TJiy  Name"  and  "from 
hardness  of  heart,  and  'contempt  of  Thy  Word  and 
Commandment,  Good  Lord,  deliver  us  !  "  To  which 
I  would  desire  to  add,  for  their  sake  and  for  my  own, 
Keble's  beautiful  petition,  "help  us,  this  and  every  day, 
To  live  more  nearly  as  we  pray  /"  It  is,  in  fact,  for 
its  consequences — for  the  grave  dangers,  both  to  speaker 
and  to  hearer,  which  it  involves — rather  than  for  what 
it  is  in  itself,  that  I  mourn  over  this  clerical  habit  of 
profanity  in  social  talk.  To  the  believing  hearer  it 
brings  the  danger  of  loss  of  reverence  for  holy  things, 
by  the  mere  act  of  listening  to,  and  enjoying,  such 
jests  ;  and  also  the  temptation  to  retail  them  for  the 
amusement  of  others.  To  the  unbelieving  hearer  it 
brings  a  welcome  confirmation  of  his  theory  that 
religion  is  a  fable,  in  the  spectacle  of  its  accredited 
champions  thus  betraying  their  trust.  And  to  the 
speaker  himself  it  must  surely  bring  the  danger  of 
loss  of  faith.  For  surely  such  jests,  if  uttered  with 
no  consciousness  of  harm,  must  necessarily  be  also 
uttered  with  no  consciousness,  at  the  moment,  of  the 
reality  of  God,  as  a  living  being-,-who  hears  all  we  say. 
And  he,  who  allows  himself  the  habit  of  thus  uttering 
holy  words,  with  no  thought  of  their  meaning,  is  but 
too  likely  to  find  that,  for  him,  God  has  become  a 
myth,  and  heaven  a  poetic  fancy — that,  for  him,  the 
light  of  life  is  gone,  and  that  he  is  at  heart  an  atheist, 
lost  in  "«  darkness  that  may  be  felt." 

There  is,  I  fear,  at  the  present  time,  an  increasing 
tendency  to  irreverent  treatment  of  the  name  of  God 


PREFACE.  xxiii 

and  of  subjects  connected  with  religion.  Some  of 
our  theatres  are  helping  this  downward  movement  by 
the  gross  caricatures  of  clergymen  which  they  put 
upon  the  stage :  some  of  our  clergy  are  themselves 
helping  it,  by  showing  that  they  can  lay  aside  the 
spirit  of  reverence,  along  with  their  surplices,  and  can 
treat  as  jests,  when  outside  their  churches,  names  and 
things  to  which  they  pay  an  almost  superstitious 
veneration  when  inside:  the  "  Salvation  Army"  has, 
I  fear,  with  the  best  intentions,  done  much  to  help  it, 
by  the  coarse  familiarity  with  which  they  treat  holy 
things  :  and  surely  every  one,  who  desires  to  live  in 
the  spirit  of  the  prayer  "  Hallowed  be  thy  Name" 
ought  to  do  what  he  can,  however  little  that  may  be, 
to  check  it  So  I  have  gladly  taken  this  unique 
opportunity,  however  unfit  the  topic  may  seem  for  the 
Preface  to  a  book  of  this  kind,  to  express  some 
thoughts  which  have  weighed  on  my  mind  for  a  long 
time.  I  did  not  expect,  when  I  wrote  the  Preface  to 
Vol.  I,  that  it  would  be  read  to  any  appreciable  ex- 
tent :  but  I  rejoice  to  believe,  from  evidence  that  has 
reached  me,  that  it  has  been  read  by  many,  and  to 
hope  that  this  Preface  will  also  be  so  :  and  I  think 
that,  among  them,  some  will  be  found  ready  to 
sympathise  with  the  views  I  have  put  forwards,  and 
ready  to  help,  with  their  prayers  and  their  example, 
the  revival,  in  Society,  of  the  waning  spirit  of 
reverence. 

Christmas,  1893. 


CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

i.     BRUNO'S  LESSONS i 

II.       LOVE'S   CURFEW 20 

III.  STREAKS   OF   DAWN 36 

IV.  THE    DOG-KING 52 

V.       MATILDA    JANE 67 

vi.     WILLIE'S  WIFE 82 

VI T.       FORTUNATUS*    PURSE 96 

VIII.       IN    A    SHADY    PLACE IIO 

IX.       THE    FAREWELL-PARTY 128 

X.       JABBERING    AND   JAM 147 

XI.       THE   MAN    IN  THE   MOON 162 

XII.       FAIRY-MUSIC 175 

XIII.       WHAT    TOTTLES    MEANT 194 

xiv.  :  BRUNO'S  PICNIC  ,    .  212 


CONTENTS.  xxvii 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

XV.       THE    LITTLE    FOXES 233 

XVI.       BEYOND    THESE    VOICES 247 

XVII.       TO    THE    RESCUE.' 262 

XVIII.       A    NEWSPAPER-CUTTING 282 

XIX.       A    FAIRY-DUET 287 

XX.       GAMMON    AND    SPINACH 310 

xxi.     THE  PROFESSOR'S  LECTURE 329 

XXII.       THE    BANQUET 346 

XXIII.       THE    PIG-TALE 363 

xxiv.     THE  BEGGAR'S  RETURN 381 

XXV.     LIFE  OUT  OF  DEATH 400 

GENERAL  INDEX     413 

LIST  OF  WORKS 426 


ILLUSTRATIONS   TO   VOL.  I. 

PAGE 

THE  MARCH-UP 3 

VISITING  THE  PROFESSOR II 

BOOTS  FOR  HORIZONTAL  WEATHER 15 

A  PORTABLE  PLUNGE-BATH 24 

REMOVAL  OF  UGGUG      41 

'  WHAT  A  GAME  !  ' 48 

'  DRINK  THIS  !  ' 53 

'COME,  YOU  BE  OFF  !. ' 62 

THE  GARDENER 66 

A  BEGGAR'S  PALACE Front. 

THE  CRIMSON  LOCKET  ...    - 77 

'HE  THOUGHT  HE  SAW  A  BUFFALO' 79 

'IT  WAS  A  HIPPOPOTAMUS' 91 

THE  MAP  OF  FAIRYLAND 96 

'HE  THOUGHT  HE  SAW  A  KANGAROO' 106 

THE  MOUSE-LION IO8 

'HAMMER  IT  IN  ! ' 115 

A  BEAR  WITHOUT  A  HEAD 117 

'COME  UP,  BRUIN!' 123 

THE  OTHER  PROFESSOR 135 

'  HOW  CHEERFULLY  THE  BOND  HE  SIGNED  !  '    ...  144 

'POOR  PETER  SHUDDERED  IN  DESPAIR' 147 


ILLUSTRATIONS  TO  VOL.  I.  xxix 

PAGE 

'SUCH  BOOTS  AS  THESE  YOU  SELDOM  SEE'    ....  150 

'I  WILL  LEND  YOU  FIFTY  MORE!' 154 

'HE  THOUGHT  HE  SAW  AN  ALBATROSS' 165 

THE  MASTIFF-SENTINEL     ..„.' 172 

THE  DOG-KING ,    .  176 

FAIRY-SYLVIE 193 

BRUNO'S  REVENGE ' 213 

FAIRIES  RESTING 226 

A  CHANGED  CROCODILE 229 

A  LECTURE  ON  ART 240 

'THREE  BADGERS  ON  A  MOSSY  STONE' 247 

'THE  FATHER-BADGER,  WRITHING  IN  A  CAVE*  .    .    .  249 

'THOSE  AGED  ONES  WAXED  GAY' 252 

'  HOW  PERFECTLY  ISOCHRONOUS  !  ' 268 

THE  LAME  CHILD 280 

'IT  WENT  IN  TWO  HALVES' 285 

FIVE  O'CLOCK  TEA 296 

'  WHAT'S  THE  MATTER,  DARLING  ?  ' 307 

THE  DEAD  HARE 321 

CROSSING  THE  LINE 341 

'THE  PUG-DOG  SAT  UP' 351 

THE  QUEEN'S  BABY 363 

THE  FROGS'  BIRTHDAY-TREAT 373 

'  HE  WRENCHED  OUT  THAT  CROCODILE'S  TOOF  !  '  .    .  380 

'LOOK  EASTWARD!' 395 


ILLUSTRATIONS  TO  VOL.   II. 


PAGE 


SYLVIE'S  TRUANT-PUPIL         .     .          8 

KING  FISHER'S  WOOING 15 

'SPEND  IT  ALL  FOR  MINNIE' 22 

'  ARE  NOT  THOSE  ORCHISES  ?  '       50 

A  ROYAL  THIEF-TAKER 62 

'  SUMMAT  WRONG  Wl'  MY  SPECTACLES  !'....  64 

BESSIE'S  SONG 75 

THE  RESCUE  OF  WILLIE 83 

WILLIE'S  WIFE 88 

FORTUNATUS'  PURSE 103 

'I  AM  SITTING  AT  YOUR  FEET' 119 

MEIN  HERR'S  FAIRY-FRIENDS 163 

'HOW  CALL  YOU  THE  OPERA?'    .......  178 

SCHOLAR-HUNTING  :  THE  PURSUED 1 88 

SCHOLAR-HUNTING  :  THE  PURSUERS 189 

THE  EGG-MERCHANT 197 

STARTING  FOR  BRUNO'S  PICNIC 230 

'ENTER  THE  LION' •.     .     .     .  236 

'  WHIHUAUCH  !   WHIHUAUCH  !  ' 242 

'  NEVER  !  '  YELLED  TOTTLES          248 

BRUNO'S  BED-TIME .     .  265 

'  LONG  CEREMONIOUS  CALLS '                             ...  266 


ILLUSTRATIONS  TO  VOL.  II.  xxxi 

PAGE 

THE  VOICES 267 

'HIS  SOUL  SHALL  BE  SAD  FOR  THE  SPIDER'  .     .     .  268 

LORDS  OF  THE  CREATION 271 

'WILL  YOU  NOT  SPARE  ME?' 277 

IN  THE  CHURCH-YARD 2QI 

A    FAIRY-DUET Front. 

THE   OTHER   PROFESSOR    FOUND 317 

'HER  IMPERIAL  HIGHNESS  is  SURPRISED!'      ...  326 

'HE   THOUGHT    HE   SAW    AN   ELEPHANT'          .       .       .       .  335 

AN   EXPLOSION 345 

'A  CANNOT  SHAK'  HANDS  wi'  THEE!' 350 

THE  OTHER  PROFESSOR'S  FALL 352 

'TEACHING  TIGRESSES  TO  SMILE  ' 365 

'HORRID  WAS  THAT  PIG'S  DESPAIR!' 367 

THE  FATAL  JUMP         369 

'BATHING  CROCODILES  IN  CREAM'    ....          .  371 

•THAT  PIG  LAY  STILL  AS  ANY  STONE' 372 

'STILL  HE  SITS  IN  MISERIE' 373 

'  BLESSED  BY  HAPPY  STAGS  '                                 •     •  377 

THE  OLD  BEGGAR'S  RETURN 382 

'  PORCUPINE  !'.... 386 

'  GOOD-NIGHT,  PROFESSOR  !  ' 395 

'HIS  WIFE  KNELT  DOWN  AT  HIS  SIDE'      ....  401 

THE  BLUE  LOCKET 405 

'  IT  IS  LOVE  !  ' 407 


SYLVIE   AND    BRUNO 
CONCLUDED. 

CHAPTER    I. 

BRUNO'S    LESSONS. 

DURING  the  next  month  or  two  my  solitary 
town-life  seemed,  by  contrast,  unusually  dull 
and  tedious.  I  missed .  the  pleasant  friends  I 
had  left  behind  at  Elveston the  genial  inter- 
change of  thought the  sympathy  which  gave 

to  one's  ideas  a  new  and  vivid  reality  :  but, 
perhaps  more  than  all,  I  missed  the  companion- 
ship of  the  two  Fairies or  Dream-Children, 

for  I  had  not  yet  solved  the  problem  as  to 
who  or  what  they  were whose  sweet  playful- 
ness had  shed  a  magic  radiance  over  my  life. 

In    office-hours which    I    suppose    reduce 

most  men  to  the  mental  condition  of  a  coffee- 
IE  B 


2  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

mill  or  a  mangle time  sped  along  much   as 

usual :  it  was  in  the  pauses  of  life,  the  desolate 
hours  when  books  and  newspapers  palled  on 
the  sated  appetite,  and  when,  thrown  back 
upon  one's  own  dreary  musings,  one  strove— 

all  in  vain to  people  the  vacant  air  with  the 

dear  faces  of  absent  friends,  that  the  real  bitter- 
ness of  solitude  made  itself  felt. 

One  evening,  feeling  my  life  a  little  more 
wearisome  than  usual,  I  strolled  down  to  my 
Club,  not  so  much  with  the  hope  of  meeting 
any  friend  there,  for  London  was  now  '  out  of 
town,'  as  with  the  feeling  that  here,  at  least, 
I  should  hear  '  sweet  words  of  human  speech/ 
and  come  into  contact  with  human  thought. 

However,  almost  the  first  face  I  saw  there 
was  that  of  a  friend.  Eric  Lindon  was  loung- 
ing, with  rather  a  'bored'  expression  of  face, 
over  a  newspaper ;  and  we  fell  into  conversa- 
tion with  a  mutual  satisfaction  which  neither 
of  us  tried  to  conceal. 

After  a  while  I  ventured  to  introduce  what 
was  just  then  the  main  subject  of  my  thoughts. 
"And  so  the  Doctor"  (a  name  we  had  adopted 
by  a  tacit  agreement,  as  a  convenient  com- 


i]  BRUNO'S    LESSONS.  3 

promise    between    the    formality    of    '  Doctor 

Forester'    and    the  intimacy to  which   Eric 

Lindon  hardly  seemed  entitled of  'Arthur') 

"has  gone  abroad  by  this  time,  I  suppose? 
Can  you  give  me  his  present  address  ?  " 

"  He  is  still  at  Elveston 1  believe,"  was 

the  reply.  "But  I  have  not  been  there  since 
I  last  met  you." 

I  did  not  know  which  part  of  this  intelligence 

to  wonder  at   most.      "  And   might   I  ask if 

it   isn't  taking  too  much  of  a  liberty when 

your  wedding-bells  are  to or   perhaps   they 

have  rung,  already  ?  " 

"  No,"  said  Eric,  in  a  steady  voice,  which 
betrayed  scarcely  a  trace  of  emotion  :  "//^en- 
gagement is  at  an  end.  I  am  still  '  Benedick 
the  //Tzmarried  man.' ' 

After    this,    the    thick-coming    fancies all 

radiant  with  new  possibilities  of  happiness  for 

Arthur were  far  too  bewildering  to  admit  of 

any  further  conversation,  and  I  was  only  too 
glad  to  avail  myself  of  the  first  decent  excuse, 
that  offered  itself,  for  retiring  into  silence. 

The  next  day  I  wrote  to  Arthur,  with  as 
much  of  a  reprimand  for  his  long  silence  as  I 

B  2 


4  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

could  bring  myself  to  put  into  words,  begging 
him  to  tell  me  how  the  world  went  with  him. 

Needs  must  that  three  or  four  days pos- 
sibly more should  elapse  before  I  could 

receive  his  reply  ;  and  never  had  I  known  days 
drag  their  slow  length  along  with  a  more  tedi- 
ous indolence. 

To  while  away  the  time,  I  strolled,  one  after- 
noon, into  Kensington  Gardens,  and,  wandering 
aimlessly  along  any  path  that  presented  itself, 
I  soon  became  aware  that  I  had  somehow 
strayed  into  one  that  was  wholly  new  to  me. 
Still,  my  elfish  experiences  seemed  to  have  so 
completely  faded  out  of  my  life  that  nothing 
was  further  from  my  thoughts  than  the  idea  of 
again  meeting  my  fairy-friends,  when  I  chanced 
to  notice  a  small  creature,  moving  among  the 
grass  that  fringed  the  path,  that  did  not  seem 
to  be  an  insect,  or  a  frog,  or  any  other  living 
thing  that  I  could  think  of.  Cautiously  kneel- 
ing down,  and  making  an  ex  tempore  cage  of 
my  two  hands,  I  imprisoned  the  little  wanderer, 
.and  felt  a  sudden  thrill  of  surprise  and  delight 
on  discovering  that  my  prisoner  was  no  other 
than  Bruno  himself! 


i]  BRUNO'S    LESSONS.  5 

Bruno  took  the  matter  very  coolly,  and,  when 
I  had  replaced  him  on  the  ground,  where  he 
would  be  within  easy  conversational  distance, 
he  began  talking,  just  as  if  it  were  only  a  few 
minutes  since  last  we  had  met. 

"  Doos  oo  know  what  the  Rule  is,"  he  en- 
quired, "  when  oo  catches  a  Fairy,  withouten 
its  having  tolded  oo  where  it  was  ?  "  (Bruno's 
notions  of  English  Grammar  had  certainly  not 
improved  since  our  last  meeting.) 

"  No,"  I  said.  "  I  didn't  know  there  was  any 
Rule  about  it." 

"  I  think  oo've  got  a  right  to  eat  me,"  said 
the  little  fellow,  looking  up  into  my  face  with  a 
winning  smile.  "  But  I'm  not  pruffickly  sure. 
Oo'd  better  hot  do  it  wizout  asking." 

It  did  indeed  seem  reasonable  not  to  take  so 
irrevocable  a  step  as  that,  without  due  enquiry. 
"  I'll  certainly  ask  about  it,  first,"  I  said.  "  Be- 
sides, I  don't  know  yet  whether  you  would  be 
worth  eating  ! " 

"  I  guess  I'm  deliriously  good  to  eat,"  Bruno 
remarked  in  a  satisfied  tone,  as  if  it  were  some- 
thing to  be  rather  proud  of. 

"  And  what  are  you  doing  here,  Bruno  ?" 


6  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Tkafs  not  iny  name!"  said  my  cunning 
little  friend.  "  Don't  oo  know  my  name's  '  Oh 
Bruno  ! '  ?  That's  what  Sylvie  always  calls  me, 
when-  I  says  mine  lessons." 

"  Well  then,  what  are  you  doing  here,  oh 
Bruno?" 

"  Doing  mine  lessons,  a-course  !  "  With 
that  roguish  twinkle  in  his  eye,  that  always 
came  when  he  knew  he  was  talking  nonsense. 

"  Oh,  thafs  the  way  you  do  your  lessons, 
is  it  ?  And  do  you  remember  them  well  ?  " 

"  Always  can  'member  mine  lessons,"  said 
Bruno.  "  It's  Sylvie  s  lessons  that's  so  dreffully 
hard  to  'member ! ''  He  frowned,  as  if  in 
agonies  of  thought,  and  tapped  his  forehead 
with  his  knuckles.  "  I  cant  think  enough  to 
understand  them!"  he  said  despairingly.  "  It 
wants  double  thinking,  I  believe !  " 

"  But  where's  Sylvie  gone  ? " 

"  That's  just  what  /  want  to  know !  "  said 
Bruno  disconsolately.  "  What  ever's  the  good 
of  setting  me  lessons,  when  she  isn't  here  to 
'splain  the  hard  bits  ?  " 

"  /'//  find  her  for  you  !  "  I  volunteered  ;  and, 
getting  up,  I  wandered  round  the  tree  under 


i]  BRUNO'S    LESSONS.  7 

whose  shade  I  had  been  reclining,  looking  on 
all  sides  for  Sylvie.  In  another  minute  I  again 
noticed  some  strange  thing  moving  among  the 
grass,  and,  kneeling  down,  was  immediately 
confronted  with  Sylvie's  innocent  face,  lighted 
up  with  a  joyful  surprise  at  seeing  me,  and  was 
accosted,  in  the  sweet  voice  I  knew  so  well, 
with  what  seemed  to  be  the  end  of  a  sentence 
whose  beginning  I  had  failed  to  catch. 

"  -  -  and  I  think  he  ought  to  have  finished 
them  by  this  time.  So  I'm  going  back  to  him. 
Will  you  come  too  ?  It's  only  just  round  at 
the  other  side  of  this  tree." 

It  was  but  a  few  steps  for  me  ;  but  it  was  a 
great  many  for  Sylvie  ;  and  I  had  to  be  very 
careful  to  walk  slowly,  in  order  not  to  leave 
the  little  creature  so  far  behind  as  to  lose 
sight  of  her. 

To  find  Bruno's  lessons  was  easy  enough  : 
they  appeared  to  be  neatly  written  out  on  large 
smooth  ivy-leaves,  which  were  scattered  in  some 
confusion  over  a  little  patch  of  ground  where 
the  grass  had  been  worn  away  ;  but  the  pale 
student,  who  ought  by  rights  to  have  been 
bending  over  them,  was  nowhere  to  be  seen  : 


SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


we  looked  in  all  directions,  for  some  time,  In 
vain  ;  but  at  last  Sylvie's  sharp  eyes  detected 
him,  swinging  on  a  tendril  of  ivy,  and  Sylvie's 
stern  voice  commanded  his  instant  return  to 
terra  firma  and  to  the  business  of  Life. 


I]  BRUNO'S    LESSONS.  9 

"Pleasure  first  and  business  afterwards" 
seemed  to  be  the  motto  of  these  tiny  folk,  so 
many  hugs  and  kisses  had  to  be  interchanged 
before  anything  else  could  be  done. 

"  Now,  Bruno,"  Sylvie  said  reproachfully, 
"  didn't  I  tell  you  you  were  to  go  on  with  your 
lessons,  unless  you  heard  to  the  contrary  ?  " 

"  But  I  did  heard  to  the  contrary ! "  Bruno 
insisted,  with  a  mischievous  twinkle  in  his  eye. 

"  What  did  you  hear,  you  wicked  boy  ?" 

"  It  were  a  sort  of  noise  in  the  air,"  said 
Bruno  :  "  a  sort  of  a  scrambling  noise.  Didn't 
oo  hear  it,  Mister  Sir  ? " 

"  Well,  anyhow,  you  needn't  go  to  sleep  over 
them,  you  lazy-lazy  !  "  For  Bruno  had  curled 
himself  up,  on  the  largest  '  lesson,'  and  was 
arranging  another  as  a  pillow. 

"  I  ivasnt  asleep  !  "  said  Bruno,  in  a  deeply- 
injured  tone.  "  When  I  shuts  mine  eyes,  it's 
to  show  that  I'm  awake!" 

:(  Well,  how  much  have  you  learned,  then  ?" 

"  I've  learned  a  little  tiny  bit,"  said  Bruno, 
modestly,  being  evidently  afraid  of  overstating 
his  achievement.  "  Cant  learn  no  more  !  " 

"  Oh  Bruno  !  You  know  you  can,  if  you  like." 


io  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Course  I  can,  if  I  like"  the  pale  student 
replied  ;  "but  I  ca'n't  if  I  dorit  like  !" 

Sylvie  had  a  way which    I   could   not  too 

highly    admire of    evading    Bruno's    logical 

perplexities  by  suddenly  striking  into  a  new 
line  of  thought  ;  and  this  masterly  stratagem 
she  now  adopted. 

"  Well,   I  must  say  one  thing " 

"  Did  oo  know,  Mister  Sir,"  Bruno  thought- 
fully remarked,  "  that  Sylvie  ca'n't  count  ? 
Whenever  she  says  '  I  must  say  one  thing,'  I 
know  quite  well  she'll  say  two  things !  And 
she  always  doos." 

"  Two  heads  are  better  than  one,  Bruno,"  I 
said,  but  with  no  very  distinct  idea  as  to  what 
I  meant  by  it. 

"  I  shouldn't  mind  having  two  heads"  Bruno 
said  softly  to  himself :   "  one  head  to  eat  mine 
dinner,  and   one  head  to  argue  wiz  Sylvie— 
doos    oo    think  oo'd  look  prettier   if   oo'd  got 
two  heads,  Mister  Sir  ?  " 

The  case  did  not,  I  assured  him,  admit  of  a 
doubt. 

"  The   reason    why  Sylvie's    so    cross- 
Bruno  went  on  very  seriously,  almost  sadly. 


i]  BRUNO'S    LESSONS.  n 

Sylvie's  eyes  grew  large  and  round  with 

surprise  at  this  new  line  of  enquiry her  rosy 

face  being  perfectly  radiant  with  good  humour. 
But  she  said  nothing. 

"  Wouldn't  it  be  better  to  tell  me  after  the 
lessons  are  over  ?  "  I  suggested. 

"  Very  well,"  Bruno  said  with  a  resigned  air : 
"  only  she  wo'n't  be  cross  then." 

"  There's  only  three  lessons  to  do,"  said  Sylvie. 
"Spelling,  and  Geography,  and  Singing." 

"  Not  Arithmetic  ?"   I  said. 

"  No,  he  hasn't  a  head  for  Arithmetic — 

"Course  I  haven't!"  said  Bruno.  "Mine 
head's  for  hair.  \  haven't  got  a  lot  of  heads  !  " 

"  -  -  and  he  ca'n't  learn  his  Multiplication- 
table " 

"  I  like  History  ever  so  much  better,"  Bruno 
remarked.  "  Oo  has  to  repeat  that  Muddlecome 
table " 

"  Well,  and  you  have  to  repeat 

"  No,  oo  hasn't ! "  Bruno  interrupted.  "  His- 
tory repeats  itself.  The  Professor  said  so !  " 

Sylvie  was  arranging  some  letters  on  a 

board E— V— I— L.  "  Now,  Bruno,"  she 

said,  "  what  does  that  spell  ?" 


12  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Bruno  looked  at  it,  in  solemn  silence,  for  a 
minute.  "  I  knows  what  it  doosrit  spell !  "  he 
said  at  last. 

"  That's  no  good,"  said  Sylvie.  "  What  does 
it  spell?" 

Bruno  took  another  look  at  the  mysterious 
letters.  "Why,  it's  'LIVE,'  backwards!"  he 
exclaimed.  (I  thought  it  was,  indeed.) 

"  How  did  you  manage  to  see  that  ?  "  said 
Sylvie. 

"  I  just  twiddled  my  eyes,"  said  Bruno, 
"  and  then  I  saw  it  directly.  Now  may  I 
sing  the  King-fisher  Song  ?" 

"  Geography  next,"  said  Sylvie.  "  Don't  you 
know  the  Rules  ? " 

"  I  thinks  there  oughtn't  to  be  such  a  lot  of 
Rules,  Sylvie  !  I  thinks— 

"  Yes,  there  ought  to  be  such  a  lot  of  Rules, 
you  wicked,  wicked  boy  !  And  how  dare  you 
think  at  all  about  it  ?  And  shut  up  that 
mouth  directly  ! " 

So,  as  '  that  mouth '  didn't  seem  inclined  to 

shut  up  of  itself,  Sylvie  shut  it  for  him with 

both  hands and  sealed  it  with  a  kiss,  just  as 

you  would  fasten  up  a  letter. 


l]  BRUNO'S    LESSONS.  13 

"  Now  that  Bruno  is  fastened  up  from 
talking,"  she  went  on,  turning  to  me,  "  I'll 
show  you  the  Map  he  does  his  lessons  on." 

And  there  it  was,  a  large  Map  of  the  World, 
spread  out  on  the  ground.  It  was  so  large  that 
Bruno  had  to  crawl  about  on  it,  to  point  out  the 
places  named  in  the  'King-fisher  Lesson.' 

"  When  a  King-fisher  sees  a  Lady-bird  flying 
away,  he  says  '  Ceylon,  if  you  Candia  /'  And 
when  he  catches  it,  he  says  '  Come  to  Media  ! 
And  if  you're  Hungary  or  thirsty,  I'll  give  you 
some  Nubia  / '  When  he  takes  it  in  his  claws, 
he  says  '  Europe  !  '  When  he  puts  it  into  his 
beak,  he  says  '  India  ! '  When  he's  swallowed 
it,  he  says  '  Eton  / '  That's  all." 

"  That's  quite  perfect,"  said  Sylvie.  "  Now 
you  may  sing  the  King-fisher  Song." 

"Will  oo  sing  the  chorus  ? "  Bruno  said  to  me. 

I  was  just  beginning  to  say  "  I'm  afraid  I 
don't  know  the  words"  when  Sylvie  silently 
turned  the  map  over,  and  I  found  the  words 
were  all  written  on  the  back.  In  one  respect 
it  was  a  very  peculiar  song  :  the  chorus  to  each 
verse  came  in  the  middle.,  instead  of  at  the  end 
of  it.  However,  the  tune  was  so  easy  that  I 


14  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

soon  picked  it  up,  and  managed  the  chorus  as 
well,  perhaps,  as  it  is  possible  for  one  person  to 
manage  such  a  thing.  It  was  in  vain  that  I 
signed  to  Sylvie  to  help  me  :  she  only  smiled 
sweetly  and  shook  her  head. 


"King  Fislier  courted  Lady  Bird 

Sing  Beans,  sing  Bones,  sing  Butterflies  ! 
'  Find  me  my  match,'  he  said, 
'  With  sucJi  a  noble  head— — 
With  such  a  beard,  as  white  as  curd — 
With  stick  expressive  eyes  ! ' 


"  '  Yet  pins  have  heads,'  said  Lady  Bird- 


Sing  Prunes,  sing  Prawns,  sing  Primrose-Hill ! 

'  A  nd,  where  you  stick  tliem  in, 
They  stay,  and  thus  a  pin 
Is  very  much  to  be  preferred 
To  one  that's  never  still  /' 


"  '  Oysters  have  beards ,'  said  Lady  Bird — 
Sing  Flies,  sing  Frogs,  sing  Fiddle-strings ! 
'  /  love  them,  for  I  knoiv 
They  never  chatter  so  : 
They  would  not  say  one  single  word — 
Not  if  you  crowned  them  Kings  ! ' 


BRUNO'S    LESSONS. 


" '  Needles  Jiave  eyes,'  said  Lady  Bird- 


Sing  Cats,  sing  Corks,  sing  Cowslip-tea! 

'  And  they  are  sJiarp — -justwJiat 

Your  Majesty  is  not : 
So  get  you  gone 'tis  too  absurd 

To  come  a-courting  me  ! ' ' 


16  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"So  he  went  away,"  Bruno  added  as  a  kind 
of  postscript,  when  the  last  note  of  the  song 
had  died  away.  "  Just  like  he  always  did." 

"  Oh,  my  dear  Bruno !  "  Sylvie  exclaimed, 
with  her  hands  over  her  ears.  "You  shouldn't 
say  '  like  ' :  you  should  say  '  what! ' 

To  which  Bruno  replied,  doggedly,  "  I  only 
says  '  what ! '  when  oo  doosn't  speak  loud,  so 
as  I  can  hear  oo." 

"  Where  did  he  go  to  ?"  I  asked,  hoping  to 
prevent  an  argument. 

"  He  went  more  far  than  he'd  never  been 
before,"  said  Bruno. 

"You  should  never  say  'more  far,'"  Sylvie 
corrected  him  :  "  you  should  say  'farther' ' 

"  Then  oo  shouldn't  say  '  more  broth,'  when 
we're  at  dinner,"  Bruno  retorted  :  "  oo  should 
say  '  brother '  I  " 

This  time  Sylvie  evaded  an  argument  by 
turning  away,  and  beginning  to  roll  up  the 
Map.  "  Lessons  are  over !  "  she  proclaimed 
in  her  sweetest  tones. 

"  And  has  there  been  no  crying  over  them  ? " 
I  enquired.  "  Little  boys  always  cry  over  their 
lessons,  don't  they  ?  " 


i]  BRUNO'S    LESSONS.  17 

"  I  never  cries  after  twelve  o'clock,"  said 
Bruno:  "'cause  then  it's  getting  so  near  to 
dinner-time." 

"  Sometimes,  in  the  morning,"  Sylvie  said  in 
a  low  voice  ;  "  when  it's  Geography-day,  and 
when  he's  been  disobe— 

"  What  a  fellow  you  are  to  talk,  Sylvie  ! " 
Bruno  hastily  interposed.  "  Doos  oo  think 
the  world  was  made  for  oo  to  talk  in  ?  " 

"  Why,  where  would  you  have  me  talk, 
then  ? "  Sylvie  said,  evidently  quite  ready  for 
an  argument. 

But  Bruno  answered  resolutely.  "  I'm  not 
going  to  argue  about  it,  'cause  it's  getting  late, 

and  there  wo'n't  be  time but  oo's  as  'ong  as 

ever  oo  can  be  !  "  And  he  rubbed  the  back  of 
his  hand  across  his  eyes,  in  which  tears  were 
beginning  to  glitter. 

Sylvie  s  eyes  filled  with  tears  in  a  moment. 
"  I  didn't  mean  it,  Bruno,  darling  /"  she  whis- 
pered ;  and  the  rest  of  the  argument  was  lost 
'amid  the  tangles  of  Nea^ra's  hair,' while  the 
two  disputants  hugged  and  kissed  each  other. 

But  this  new  form  of  argument  was  brought 
to  a  sudden  end  by  a  flash  of  lightning,  which 

c 


i8  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

was  closely  followed  by  a  peal  of  thunder,  and 
by  a  torrent  of  rain-drops,  which  came  hissing 
and  spitting,  almost  like  live  creatures,  through 
the  leaves  of  the  tree  that  sheltered  us. 

"  Why,  it's  raining  cats  and  dogs  !  "  I  said. 

"And  all  the  dogs  has  come  down  first" 
said  Bruno :  "  there's  nothing  but  cats  coming 
down  now ! " 

In  another  minute  the  pattering  ceased,  as 
suddenly  as  it  had  begun.  I  stepped  out  from 
under  the  tree,  and  found  that  the  storm  was 
over ;  but  I  looked  in  vain,  on  my  return,  for 
my  tiny  companions.  They  had  vanished  with 
the  storm,  and  there  was  nothing  for  it  but  to 
make  the  best  of  my  way  home. 

On  the  table  lay,  awaiting  my  return,  an 
envelope  of  that  peculiar  yellow  tint  which 
always  announces  a  telegram,  and  which  must 
be,  in  the  memories  of  so  many  of  us,  in- 
separably linked  with  some  great  and  sudden 

sorrow something  that  has  cast  a  shadow, 

never  in  this  world  to  be  wholly  lifted  off,  on 
the  brightness  of  Life.  No  doubt  it  has  also 

heralded for  many  of  us some  sudden 

news  of  joy  ;  but  this,  I  think,  is  less  common  : 


I]  BRUNO'S     LESSONS.  19 

human  life  seems,  on  the  whole,  to  contain 
more  of  sorrow  than  of  joy.  And  yet  the 
world  goes  on.  Who  knows  why  ? 

This  time,  however,  there  was  no  shock  of 
sorrow  to  be  faced :  in  fact,  the  few  words  it 
contained  ("  Could  not  bring  myself  to  write. 
Come  soon.  Always  welcome.  A  letter  follows 
this.  Arthur.")  seemed  so  like  Arthur  himself 
speaking,  that  it  gave  me  quite  a  thrill  of 
pleasure,  and  I  at  once  began  the  preparations 
needed  for  the  journey. 


CHAPTER   II. 

LOVE'S    CURFEW. 

"  FAYFIELD  Junction  !  Change  for  Elveston!" 
What  subtle  memory  could  there  be,  linked 
to  these  commonplace  words,  that  caused  such 
a  flood  of  happy  thoughts  to  fill  my  brain  ?  I 
dismounted  from  the  carriage  in  a  state  of 
joyful  excitement  for  which  I  could  not  at  first 
account.  True,  I  had  taken  this  very  journey, 
and  at  the  same  hour  of  the  day,  six  months 
ago ;  but  many  things  had  happened  since 
then,  and  an  old  man's  memory  has  but  a 
slender  hold  on  recent  events  :  I  sought  '  the 
missing  link '  in  vain.  Suddenly  I  caught 
sight  of  a  bench the  only  one  provided  on 


II]  LOVE'S    CURFEW.  21 

the    cheerless   platform with    a    lady    seated 

on  it,  and  the  whole  forgotten  scene  flashed 
upon  me  as  vividly  as  if  it  were  happening 
over  again. 

"Yes,"  I  thought.  "  This  bare  platform  is, 
for  me,  rich  with  the  memory  of  a  dear  friend  ! 
She  was  sitting  on  that  very  bench,  and  in- 
vited me  to  share  it,  with  some  quotation  from 

Shakespeare 1    forget    what.       I'll    try   the 

Earl's  plan  for  the  Dramatisation  of  Life,  and 
fancy  that  figure  to  be  Lady  Muriel  ;  and  I 
won't  undeceive  myself  too  soon  !  " 

So  I  strolled  along  the  platform,  resolutely 
'  making-believe '  (as  children  say)  that  the 
casual  passenger,  seated  on  that  bench,  was 
the  Lady  Muriel  I  remembered  so  well.  She 
was  facing  away  from  me,  which  aided  the 
elaborate  cheatery  I  was  practising  on  myself : 
but,  though  I  was  careful,  in  passing  the  spot, 
to  look  the  other  way,  in  order  to  prolong  the 
pleasant  illusion,  it  was  inevitable  that,  when  I 
turned  to  walk  back  again,  I  should  see  who 
it  was.  It  was  Lady  Muriel  herself! 

The  whole  scene  now  returned  vividly  to 
my  memory  ;  and,  to  make  this  repetition  of 


22  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED 


it  stranger  still,  there  was  the  same  old  man, 
whom  I  remembered  seeing  so  roughly  ordered 
off,  by  the  Station- Master,  to  make  room  for 
his  titled  passenger.  The  same,  but  '  with  a 
difference ' :  no  longer  tottering  feebly  along 
the  platform,  but  actually  seated  at  Lady 
Muriel's  side,  and  in  conversation  with  her ! 
"  Yes,  put  it  in  your  purse,"  she  was  saying, 
"  and  remember  you're  to  spend  it  all  for 
Minnie.  And  mind  you  bring  her  something 
nice,  that'll  do  her  real  good  !  And  give  her 


n]  LOVE'S    CURFEW.  23 

my  love  !  "  So  intent  was  she  on  saying  these 
words,  that,  although  the  sound  of  my  footstep 
had  made  her  lift  her  head  and  look  at  me, 
she  did  not  at  first  recognise  me. 

I  raised  my  hat  as  I  approached,  and  then 
there  flashed  across  her  face  a  genuine  look 
of  joy,  which  so  exactly  recalled  the  sweet  face 
of  Sylvie,  when  last  we  met  in  Kensington 
Gardens,  that  I  felt  quite  bewildered. 

Rather  than  disturb  the  poor  old  man  at  her 
side,  she  rose  from  her  seat,  and  joined  me  in 
my  walk  up  and  down  the  platform,  and  for  a 
minute  or  two  our  conversation  was  as  utterly 
trivial  and  commonplace  as  if  we  were  merely 
two  casual  guests  in  a  London  drawing-room. 
Each  of  us  seemed  to  shrink,  just  at  first, 
from  touching  on  the  deeper  interests  which 
linked  our  lives  together. 

The  Elveston  train  had  drawn  up  at  the 
platform,  while  we  talked ;  and,  in  obedience 
to  the  Station-Master's  obsequious  hint  of 
"  This  way,  my  Lady  !  Time's  up  !  ",  we  were 
making  the  best  of  our  way  towards  the  end 
which  contained  the  sole  first-class  carriage, 
and  were  just  passing  the  now-empty  bench, 


24  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

when  Lady  Muriel  noticed,  lying  on  it,  the 
purse  in  which  her  gift  had  just  been  so 
carefully  bestowed,  the  owner  of  which,  all 
unconscious  of  his  loss,  was  being  helped  into 
a  carriage  at  the  other  end  of  the  train.  She 
pounced  on  it  instantly.  "  Poor  old  man  !  " 
she  cried.  "  He  mustn't  go  off,  and  think 
he's  lost  it !  " 

"  Let  me  run  with  it !  I  can  go  quicker 
than  you ! "  I  said.  But  she  was  already 
half-way  down  the  platform,  flying  ('  running ' 
is  much  too  mundane  a  word  for  such  fairy- 
like  motion)  at  a  pace  that  left  all  possible 
efforts  of  mine  hopelessly  in  the  rear. 

She  was  back  again  before  I  had  well  com- 
pleted my  audacious  boast  of  speed  in  running, 
and  was  saying,  quite  demurely,  as  we  entered 
our  carriage,  "  and  you  really  think  you  could 
have  done  it  quicker  ?  " 

"  No  indeed  !  "  I  replied.  "  I  plead  '  Guilty  ' 
of  gross  exaggeration,  and  throw  myself  on  the 
mercy  of  the  Court !  " 

"  The    Court    will    overlook    it for     this 

once  ! "     Then   her   manner  suddenly  changed 
from  playfulness  to  an  anxious  gravity. 


n]  LOVE'S    CURFEW.  25 

"  You  are  not  looking  your  best !  "  she  said 
with  an  anxious  glance.  "In  fact,  I  think  you 
look  more  of  an  invalid  than  when  you  left  us. 
I  very  much  doubt  if  London  agrees  with  you  ?  " 

"It  may  be  the  London  air,"  I  said,  "  or  it 

may  be  the  hard  work or  my  rather  lonely 

life  :  anyhow,  I've  not  been  feeling  very  well, 
lately.  But  Elveston  will  soon  set  me  up 

again.  Arthur's  prescription he's  my  doctor, 

you  know,  and  I  heard  from  him  this  morn- 
ing  is  '  plenty  of  ozone,  and  new  milk,  and 

pleasant  society  :  !  " 

"  Pleasant  society  ? "  said  Lady  Muriel,  with 
a  pretty  make-believe  of  considering  the 
question.  "  Well,  really  I  don't  know  where 
we  can  find  that  for  you  !  We  have  so  few 
neighbours.  But  new  milk  we  can  manage.  Do 
get  it  of  my  old  friend  Mrs.  Hunter,  up  there, 
on  the  hill-side.  You  may  rely  upon  the 
quality.  And  her  little  Bessie  comes  to  school 
every  day,  and  passes  your  lodgings.  So  it 
would  be  very  easy  to  send  it." 

"  I'll  follow  your  advice,  with  pleasure,"  I 
said  ;  "  and  I'll  go  and  arrange  about  it  to- 
morrow. I  know  Arthur  will  want  a  walk." 


26  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  You'll  find  it  quite  an  easy  walk under 

three  miles,  I  think." 

"  Well,  now  that  we've  settled  that  point,  let 
me  retort  your  own  remark  upon  yourself.  I 
don't  think  you  re  looking  quite  your  best !  " 

"  I  daresay  not,"  she  replied  in  a  low  voice  ; 
and  a  sudden  shadow  seemed  to  overspread  her 
face.  "  I've  had  some  troubles  lately.  It's  a 
matter  about  which  I've  been  long  wishing  to 
consult  you,  but  I  couldn't  easily  write  about 
it.  I'm  so  glad  to  have  this  opportunity  !  " 

"  Do  you  think,"  she  began  again,  after  a 
minute's  silence,  and  with  a  visible  embarrass- 
ment of  manner  most  unusual  in  her,  "  that 
a  promise,  deliberately  and  solemnly  given,  is 

always  binding except,   of  course,   where  its 

fulfilment  would  involve  some  actual  sin  ? " 

"  I  ca'n't  think  of  any  other  exception  at  this 
moment,"  I  said.  "  That  branch  of  casuistry 
is  usually,  I  believe,  treated  as  a  question  of 
truth  and  untruth— 

"Surely  that  is  the  principle?"  she  eagerly 
interrupted.  "  I  always  thought  the  Bible- 
teaching  about  it  consisted  of  such  texts  as 
'  lie  not  one  to  another '  ?  " 


ll]  LOVE'S     CURFEW.  27 

"  I  have  thought  about  that  point,"  I  re- 
plied ;  "  and  it  seems  to  me  that  the  essence  of 
lying\s  the  intention  of  deceiving.  If  you  give 
a  promise,  fully  intending  to  fulfil  it,  you  are 
certainly  acting  truthfully  then;  and,  if  you 
afterwards  break  it,  that  does  not  involve 
any  deception.  I  cannot  call  it  untruthful" 

Another  pause  of  silence  ensued.  Lady 
Muriel's  face  was  hard  to  read  :  she  looked 
pleased,  I  thought,  but  also  puzzled ;  and  I 
felt  curious  to  know  whether  her  question 
had,  as  I  began  to  suspect,  some  bearing  on 
the  breaking  off  of  her  engagement  with 
Captain  (now  Major)  Lindon. 

"  You  have  relieved  me  from  a  great  fear," 
she  said  ;  "  but  the  thing  is  of  course  wrong, 
somehow.  What  texts  would  you  quote,  to 
prove  it  wrong  ?  " 

"Any  that  enforce  the  payment  of  debts. 
If  A  promises  something  to  B,  B  has  a  claim 
upon  A.  And  A's  sin,  if  he  breaks  his 
promise,  seems  to  me  more  analogous  to 
stealing  than  to  lying." 

"  It's  a  new  way  of  looking  at  it to  me," 

she  said ;  "but  it  seems  a  true  way,  also. 


28  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

However,  I  won't  deal  in  generalities,  with 
an  old  friend  like  you !  For  we  are  old 
friends,  somehow.  Do  you  know,  I  think  we 
began  as  old  friends  ? "  she  said  with  a  play- 
fulness of  tone  that  ill  accorded  with  the  tears 
that  glistened  in  her  eyes. 

"  Thank  you  very  much  for  saying  so,"  I 
replied.  "  I  like  to  think  of  you  as  an  old 

friend,"  (<{ though  you  don't  look  it !  "  would 

have  been  the  almost  necessary  sequence,  with 
any  other  lady ;  but  she  and  I  seemed  to  have 
long  passed  out  of  the  time  when  compliments, 
or  any  such  trivialities,  were  possible.) 

Here  the  train  paused  at  a  station,  where 
two  or  three  passengers  entered  the  carriage  ; 
so  no  more  was  said  till  we  had  reached  our 
journey's  end. 

On  our  arrival  at  Elveston,  she  readily 
adopted  my  suggestion  that  we  should  walk 
up  together ;  so,  as  soon  as  our  luggage  had 
been  duly  taken  charge  of hers  by  the  ser- 
vant who  met  her  at  the  station,  and  mine  by 

one  of  the  porters we  set  out  together  along 

the  familiar  lanes,  now  linked  in  my  memory 
with  so  many  delightful  associations.  Lady 


n]  LOVE'S     CURFEW.  29 

Muriel  at  once  recommenced  the  conversation 
at  the  point  where  it  had  been  interrupted. 

"You  knew  of  my  engagement  to  my 
cousin  Eric.  Did  you  also  hear— 

"  Yes,"  I  interrupted,  anxious  to  spare  her 
the  pain  of  giving  any  details.  "  I  heard  it 
had  all  come  to  an  end." 

"  I  would  like  to  tell  you  how  it  happened," 
she  said  ;  "as  that  is  the  very  point  I  want 
your  advice  about.  I  had  long  realised  that 
we  were  not  in  sympathy  in  religious  belief. 
His  ideas  of  Christianity  are  very  shadowy; 
and  even  as  to  the  existence  of  a  God  he  lives 
in  a  sort  of  dreamland.  But  it  has  not  affected 
his  life  !  I  feel  sure,  now,  that  the  most  abso- 
lute Atheist  may  be  leading,  though  walking 
blindfold,  a  pure  and  noble  life.  And  if  you 
knew  half  the  good  deeds—  "  she  broke  off 
suddenly,  and  turned  away  her  head. 

"  I  entirely  agree  with  you,"  I  said.  "  And 
have  we  not  our  Saviour's  own  promise  that 
such  a  life  shall  surely  lead  to  the  light  ?  " 

"  Yes,  I  know  it,"  she  said  in  a  broken  voice, 
still  keeping  her  head  turned  away.  "And  so 
I  told  him.  He  said  he  would  believe,  for  my 


30  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED 

sake,  if  he  could.      And  he  wished,  for  my  sake, 
he  could  see  things  as  I  did.      But  that  is  all 
wrong  !  "    she    went   on    passionately.       "  God 
cannot    approve    such    low    motives    as    that ! 
Still   it  was  not  /  that  broke    it  off.     I    knew 
he  loved  me  ;    and  I  had  promised ;  and— 
"Then  it  was  he  that  broke  it  off?" 
"  He    released    me    unconditionally."      She 
faced   me   again   now,   having  quite   recovered 
her  usual  calmness  of  manner. 

"  Then  what  difficulty  remains  ?  " 
"  It  is  this,  that  I  don't  believe  he  did  it  of 
his  own  free  will.  Now,  supposing  he  did  it 
against  his  will,  merely  to  satisfy  my  scruples, 
would  not  his  claim  on  me  remain  just  as 
strong  as  ever  ?  And  would  not  my  promise 
be  as  binding  as  ever  ?  My  father  says 
'  no '  ;  but  I  ca'n't  help  fearing  he  is  biased 
by  his  love  for  me.  And  I've  asked  no  one 

else.      I    have    many   friends friends   for   the 

bright  sunny  weather ;  not  friends  for  the 
clouds  and  storms  of  life ;  not  old  friends 
like  you ! " 

"  Let    me  think    a  little,"    I    said  :    and    for 
some   minutes  we   walked  on  in  silence,  while 


ii]  LOVE'S    CURFEW.  31 

pained  to  the  heart  at  seeing  the  bitter  trial 
that  had  come  upon  this  pure  and  gentle  soul, 
I  strove  in  vain  to  see  my  way  through  the 
tangled  skein  of  conflicting  motives. 

"If  she  loves  him  truly,"  (I  seemed  at  last 
to  grasp  the  clue  to  the  problem)  "  is  not  that, 
for  her,  the  voice  of  God  ?  May  she  not  hope 
that  she  is  sent  to  him,  even  as  Ananias  was 
sent  to  Saul  in  his  blindness,  that  he  may  re- 
ceive his  sight  ? "  Once  more  I  seemed  to 
hear  Arthur  whispering  "  What  knowest  thou, 
O  wife,  whether  thou  shalt  save  thy  husband  ?  " 
and  I  broke  the  silence  with  the  words  "  If 
you  still  love  him  truly— 

"I   do  not!"  she   hastily  interrupted.     "At 

least not  in  that  way.      I  believe  I  loved  him 

when  I  promised  ;  but  I  was  very  young  :  it 
is  %hard  to  know.  But,  whatever  the  feeling 
was,  it  is  dead  now.  The  motive  on  his  side 
is  Love  :  on  mine  it  is Duty  !  " 

Again  there  was  a  long  silence.  The  whole 
skein  of  thought  was  tangled  worse  than  ever. 
This  time  she  broke  the  silence.  "  Don't  mis- 
understand me  !  "  she  said.  "  When  I  said  my 
heart  was  not  his,  I  did  not  mean  it  was  any 


32  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

one  else's  !  At  present  I  feel  bound  to  him  ; 
and,  till  I  know  I  am  absolutely  free,  in  the 
sight  of  God,  to  love  any  other  than  him, 

I'll    never    even    think   of  any   one    else in 

that  way,  I  mean.  I  would  die  sooner ! "  I 
had  never  imagined  my  gentle  friend  capable 
of  such  passionate  utterances. 

I  ventured  on  no  further  remark  until  we 
had  nearly  arrived  at  the  Hall-gate  ;  but,  the 
longer  I  reflected,  the  clearer  it  became 
to  me  that  no  call  of  Duty  demanded  the 

sacrifice possibly  of  the  happiness  of  a  life 

which  she  seemed  ready  to  make.     I  tried 

to  make  this  clear  to  her  also,  adding  some 
warnings  on  the  dangers  that  surely  awaited 
a  union  in  which  mutual  love  was  wanting. 
"  The  only  argument  for  it,  worth  consider- 
ing," I  said  in  conclusion,  "  seems  to  be  his 
supposed  reluctance  in  releasing  you  from 
your  promise.  I  have  tried  to  give  to  that 
argument  its  full  weight,  and  my  conclusion 
is  that  it  does  not  affect  the  rights  of  the 
case,  or  invalidate  the  release  he  has  given 
you.  My  belief  is  that  you  are  entirely  free 
to  act  as  now  seems  right." 


II]  LOVE'S    CURFEW.  33 

"  I  am  very  grateful  to  you,"  she  said 
earnestly.  "  Believe  it,  please !  I  ca'n't  put 
it  into  proper  words ! "  and  the  subject  was 
dropped  by  mutual  consent  :  and  I  only 
learned,  long  afterwards,  that  our  discussion 
had  really  served  to  dispel  the  doubts  that 
had  harassed  her  so  long. 

We  parted  at  the  Hall-gate,  and  I  found 
Arthur  eagerly  awaiting  my  arrival ;  and,  before 
we  parted  for  the  night,  I  had  heard  the  whole 

story how  he  had  put  off  his  journey  from 

day  to  day,  feeling  that  he  could  not  go  away 
from  the  place  till  his  fate  had  been  irrevocably 
settled  by  the  wedding  taking  place  :  how  the 
preparations  for  the  wedding,  and  the  excite- 
ment in  the  neighbourhood,  had  suddenly  come 
to  an  end,  and  he  had  learned  (from  Major 
Lindon,  who  called  to  wish  him  good-bye)  that 
the  engagement  had  been  broken  off  by  mutual 
consent  :  how  he  had  instantly  abandoned  all 
his  plans  for  going  abroad,  and  had  decided  to 
stay  on  at  Elveston,  for  a  year  or  two  at  any 
rate,  till  his  newly-awakened  hopes  should 
prove  true  or  false  ;  and  how,  since  that 
memorable  day,  he  had  avoided  all  meetings 

D 


34  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

with  Lady  Muriel,  fearing  to  betray  his 
feelings  before  he  had  had  any  sufficient 
evidence  as  to  how  she  regarded  him.  "  But 
it  is  nearly  six  weeks  since  all  that  happened," 
he  said  in  conclusion,  "  and  we  can  meet  in  the 
ordinary  way,  now,  with  no  need  for  any  painful 
allusions.  I  would  have  written  to  tell  you  all 
this :  only  I  kept  hoping  from  day  to  day, 
that that  there  would  be  more  to  tell ! " 

"  And  how  should  there  be  more,  you  foolish 
fellow,"  I  fondly  urged,  "  if  you  never  even  go 
near  her  ?  Do  you  expect  the  offer  to  come 
from  her  ?  " 

Arthur  was  betrayed  into  a  smile.  "  No," 
he  said,  "  I  hardly  expect  that.  But  I'm  a 
desperate  coward.  There's  no  doubt  about  it !  " 

"  And  what  reasons  have  you  heard  of  for 
breaking  off  the  engagement  ? " 

"A  good  many,"  Arthur  replied,  and  pro- 
ceeded to  count  them  on  his  fingers.  "First,  it 

was  found  that  she  was  dying  of something  ; 

so  he  broke  it  off.  Then  it  was  found  that  he 

was  dying  of some  other  thing  ;  so  she  broke 

it  off.  Then  the  Major  turned  out  to  be  a 
confirmed  gamester ;  so  the  Earl  broke  it  off. 


n]  LOVE'S    CURFEW.  35 

Then  the  Earl  insulted  him  ;  so  the  Major 
broke  it  off.  It  got  a  good  deal  broken  off,  all 
things  considered !  " 

"  You  have  all  this  on  the  very  best  authority, 
of  course  ?  " 

"  Oh,  certainly  !  And  communicated  in  the 
strictest  confidence  !  Whatever  defects  Elves- 
ton  society  suffers  from,  want  of  information 
isn't  one  of  them ! " 

"Nor  reticence,  either,  it  seems.  But,  se- 
riously, do  you  know  the  real  reason  ? " 

"  No,   I'm  quite  in  the  dark." 

I  did  not  feel  that  I  had  any  right  to 
enlighten  him ;  so  I  changed  the  subject,  to  the 
less  engrossing  one  of  "  new  milk,"  and  we 
agreed  that  I  should  walk  over,  next  day,  to 
Hunter's  farm,  Arthur  undertaking  to  set  me 
part  of  the  way,  after  which  he  had  to  return 
to  keep  a  business-engagement. 


D  2 


CHAPTER   III. 

STREAKS    OF   DAWN. 

NEXT  day  proved  warm  and  sunny,  and  we 
started  early,  to  enjoy  the  luxury  of  a  good  long 
chat  before  he  would  be  obliged  to  leave  me. 

"  This  neighbourhood  has  more  than  its  due 
proportion  of  the  very  poor,"  I  remarked,  as 
we  passed  a  group  of  hovels,  too  dilapidated 
to  deserve  the  name  of  "cottages." 

"  But  the  few  rich,"  Arthur  replied,  "  give 
more  than  their  due  proportion  of  help  in 
charity.  So  the  balance  is  kept." 

"  I   suppose  the  Earl  does  a  good  deal  ? " 

"  He  gives  liberally  ;  but  he  has  not  the 
health  or  strength  to  do  more.  Lady  Muriel 


in]  STREAKS    OF    DAWN.  37 

does  more  in  the  way  of  school-teaching  and 
cottage-visiting  than  she  would  like  me  to 
reveal." 

"  Then  she,  at  least,  is  not  one  of  the  '  idle 
mouths  '  one  so  often  meets  with  among  the 
upper  classes.  I  have  sometimes  thought  they 
would  have  a  hard  time  of  it,  if  suddenly 
called  on  to  give  their  raison  detre,  and  to 
show  cause  why  they  should  be  allowed  to 
live  any  longer !  " 

"  The  whole  subject,"  said  Arthur,  "  of  what 
we  may  call  'idle  mouths'  (I  mean  persons 
who  absorb  some  of  the  material  wealth  of  a 

community -in  the  form  of  food,  clothes,  and 

so  on without  contributing  its  equivalent  in 

the  form  of  productive  labour]  is  a  compli- 
cated one,  no  doubt.  I've  tried  to  think  it 
out.  And  it  seemed  to  me  that  the  simplest 
form  of  the  problem,  to  start  with,  is  a  com- 
munity without  money,  who  buy  and  sell  by 
barter  only  ;  and  it  makes  it  yet  simpler  to 
suppose  the  food  and  other  things  to  be  capable 
of  keeping  for  many  years  without  spoiling." 

"  Yours  is  an  excellent  plan,"  I  said.  "  What 
is  your  solution  of  the  problem  ?  " 


38  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"The    commonest    type   of   'idle  mouths,'' 
said  Arthur,  "is  no  doubt  due  to  money  being 
left  by  parents  to  their  own   children.      So    I 

imagined  a  man either  exceptionally  clever, 

or  exceptionally  strong  and  industrious— 
who  had  contributed  so  much  valuable  labour 
to  the  needs  of  the  community  that  its  equiv- 
alent, in  clothes,  &c.,  was  (say)  five  times  as 
much  as  he  needed  for  himself.  We  cannot 
deny  his  absolute  right  to  give  the  superfluous 
wealth  as  he  chooses.  So,  if  he  leaves  four 
children  behind  him  (say  two  sons  and  two 
daughters),  with  enough  of  all  the  necessaries 
of  life  to  last  them  a  life-time,  I  cannot  see 
that  the  community  is  in  any  way  wronged  if 
they  choose  to  do  nothing  in  life  but  to  '  eat, 
drink,  and  be  merry.'  Most  certainly,  the 
community  could  not  fairly  say,  in  reference  to 
them,  '  if  a  man  will  not  work,  neither  let  htm 
eat."  Their  reply  would  be  crushing.  'The 
labour  has  already  been  done,  which  is  a  fair 
equivalent  for  the  food  we  are  eating  ;  and 
you  have  had  the  benefit  of  it.  On  what 
principle  of  justice  can  you  demand  two  quotas 
of  work  for  one  quota  of  food  ? ' 


in]  STREAKS   OF   DAWN.  39 

"  Yet  surely,"  I  said,  "  there  is  something 
wrong  somewhere,  if  these  four  people  are  well 
able  to  do  useful  work,  and  if  that  work  is 
actually  needed  by  the  community,  and  they 
elect  to  sit  idle  ?  " 

"  I    think    there    is"    said  Arthur :    "but   it 
seems  to  me  to  arise  from  a  Law  of  God- 
that  every  one   shall  do  as  much  as  he  can 

to  help  others and  not  from  any  rights,  on 

the  part  of  the  community,  to  exact  labour  as 
an  equivalent  for  food  that  has  already  been 
fairly  earned." 

"  I  suppose  the  second  form  of  the  problem 
is  where  the  '  idle  mouths '  possess  money  in- 
stead of  material  wealth  ?  " 

"Yes,"  replied  Arthur:  "and  I  think  the 
simplest  case  is  that  of  paper- money.  Gold 
is  itself  a  form  of  material  wealth  ;  but  a  bank- 
note is  merely  a  promise  to  hand  over  so 
much  material  wealth  when  called  upon  to  do 
so.  The  father  of  these  four  'idle  mouths,' 
had  done  (let  us  say)  five  thousand  pounds' 
worth  of  useful  work  for  the  community.  In 
return  for  this,  the  community  had  given  him 
what  amounted  to  a  written  promise  to  hand 


40  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

over,  whenever  called  upon  to  do  so,  five 
thousand  pounds'  worth  of  food,  &c.  Then, 
if  he  only  uses  one  thousand  pounds'  worth 
himself,  and  leaves  the  rest  of  the  notes  to  his 
children,  surely  they  have  a  full  right  to  pre- 
sent these  written  promises,  and  to  say  '  hand 
over  the  food,  for  which  the  equivalent  labour 
has  been  already  done.'  Now  I  think  this 
case  well  worth  stating,  publicly  and  clearly. 
I  should  like  to  drive  it  into  the  heads  of 
those  Socialists  who  are  priming  our  ignorant 
paupers  with  such  sentiments  as  '  Look  at 
them  bloated  haristocrats  !  Doing  not  a  stroke 
o'  work  for  theirselves,  and  living  on  the  sweat 
of  our  brows ! '  I  should  like  to  force  them 
to  see  that  the  money,  which  those  '  haristo- 
crats' are  spending,  represents  so  much  labour 
already  done  for  the  community,  and  whose 
equivalent,  in  material  wealth,  is  due  from 
the  community" 

"  Might  not  the  Socialists  reply  '  Much  of 
this  money  does  not  represent  honest  labour 
at  all.  If  you  could  trace  it  back,  from  owner 
to  owner,  though  you  might  begin  with  several 
legitimate  steps,  such  as  gift,  or  bequeathing 


in]  STREAKS   OF   DAWN.  41 

by  will,  or  '  value  received,'  you  would  soon 
reach  an  owner  who  had  no  moral  right  to 
it,  but  had  got  it  by  fraud  or  other  crimes  ; 
and  of  course  his  successors  in  the  line  would 
have  no  better  right  to  it  than  he  had." 

"  No  doubt,  no  doubt,"  Arthur  replied. 
"  But  surely  that  involves  the  logical  fallacy 
of  proving  too  much  ?  It  is  quite  as  applic- 
able to  material  wealth,  as  it  is  to  money.  If 
we  once  begin  to  go  back  beyond  the  fact 
that  the  present  owner  of  certain  property 
came  by  it  honestly,  and  to  ask  whether  any 
previous  owner,  in  past  ages,  got  it  by  fraud, 
would  any  property  be  secure  ?  " 

After  a  minute's  thought,  I  felt  obliged  to 
admit  the  truth  of  this. 

"  My  general  conclusion,"  Arthur  continued, 
"  from  the  mere  standpoint  of  human  rights, 

man  against  man,  was  this that  if  some 

wealthy  '  idle  mouth,'  who  has  come  by  his 
money  in  a  lawful  way,  even  though  not  one 
atom  of  the  labour  it  represents  has  been  his 
own  doing,  chooses  to  spend  it  on  his  own 
needs,  without  contributing  any  labour  to  the 
community  from  whom  he  buys  his  food  and 


42  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

clothes,  that  community  has  no  right  to  inter- 
fere with  him.  But  it's  quite  another  thing, 
when  we  come  to  consider'  the  divine  law. 
Measured  by  that  standard,  such  a  man  is 
undoubtedly  doing  wrong,  if  he  fails  to  use, 
for  the  good  of  those  in  need,  the  strength 
or  the  skill,  that  God  has  given  him.  That 
strength  and  skill  do  not  belong  to  the  com- 
munity, to  be  paid  to  them  as  a  debt:  they 
do  not  belong  to  the  man  himself,  to  be  used 
for  his  own  enjoyment :  they  do  belong  to  God, 
to  be  used  according  to  His  will ;  and  we  are 
not  left  in  doubt  as  to  what  that  will  is.  '  Do 
good,  and  lend,  hoping  for  nothing  again' ' 

"Anyhow,"  I  said,  "an  'idle  mouth'  very 
often  gives  away  a  great  deal  in  charity." 

"In  so-called  'charity,'"  he  corrected  me. 
"  Excuse  me  if  I  seem  to  speak  uncharitably. 
I  would  not  dream  of  applying  the  term  to 
any  individztal.  But  I  would  say,  generally, 
that  a  man  who  gratifies  every  fancy  that 

occurs  to  him denying  himself  in  nothing — 

and  merely  gives  to  the  poor  some  part,  or 
even  all,  of  his  superfluous  wealth,  is  only 
deceiving  himself  if  he  calls  it  charity.'" 


ill]  STREAKS   OF    DAWN.  43 

"  But,  even  in  giving  away  superfluous 
wealth,  he  may  be  denying  himself  the  miser's 
pleasure  in  hoarding  ?  " 

"  I  grant  you  that,  gladly,"  said  Arthur. 
"Given  that  he  kas  that  morbid  craving,  he 
is  doing  a  good  deed  in  restraining  it." 

"  But,  even  in  spending  on  himself"  I  per- 
sisted, "  our  typical  rich  man  often  does  good, 
by  employing  people  who  would  otherwise  be 
out  of  work :  and  that  is  often  better  than 
pauperising  them  by  giving  the  money." 

"I'm  glad  you've  said  that!"  said  Arthur. 
"  I  would  not  like  to  quit  the  subject  without 

exposing  the  two  fallacies  of  that  statement 

which   have  gone  so  long  uncontradicted   that 
Society  now  accepts  it  as  an  axiom  ! " 

"What  are  they?"  I  said.  "I  don't  even 
see  one,  myself." 

"  One  is  merely  the  fallacy  of  ambiguity — 
the  assumption  that  '  doing  good'  (that  is,  bene- 
fiting somebody)  is  necessarily  a  good  thing  to 
do  (that  is,  a  right  thing).  The  other  is  the 
assumption  that,  if  one  of  two  specified  acts 
is  better  than  another,  it  is  necessarily  a  good 
act  in  itself.  I  should  like  to  call  this  the 


44  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

fallacy  of  comparison meaning  that  it  as- 
sumes that  what  is  comparatively  good  is 
therefore  positively  good." 

"  Then  what  is  your  test  of  a  good  act  ? " 

"  That  it  shall  be  our  best''  Arthur  con- 
fidently replied.  "  And  even  then  '  we  are 
unprofitable  servants.'  But  let  me  illustrate 
the  two  fallacies.  Nothing  illustrates  a  fal- 
lacy so  well  as  an  extreme  case,  which  fairly 
comes  under  it.  Suppose  I  find  two  children 
drowning  in  a  pond.  I  rush  in,  and  save  one 
of  the  children,  and  then  walk  away,  leaving 
the  other  to  drown.  Clearly  I  have  'done  good,' 
in  saving  a  child's  life  ?  But—  — .  Again, 
supposing  I  meet  an  inoffensive  stranger,  and 
knock  him  down,  and  walk  on.  Clearly  that 
is  'better'  than  if  I  had  proceeded  to  jump 
upon  him  and  break  his  ribs  ?  But— 

"Those  '  buts '  are  quite  unanswerable,"  I 
said.  "  But  I  should  like  an  instance  from 
real  life." 

"  Well,  let  us  take  one  of  those  abomina- 
tions of  modern  Society,  a  Charity- Bazaar. 

It's  an  interesting  question  to  think  out how 

much  of  the  money,  that  reaches  the  object  in 


ill]  STREAKS   OF    DAWN.  45 

view,  is  genuine  charity ;  and  whether  even 
that  is  spent  in  the  best  way.  But  the  subject 
needs  regular  classification,  and  analysis,  to 
understand  it  properly." 

"  I  should  be  glad  to  have  it  analysed,"  I 
said  :  "it  has  often  puzzled  me." 

"Well,  if  I  am  really  not  boring  you.  Let 
us  suppose  our  Charity- Bazaar  to  have  been 
organised  to  aid  the  funds  of  some  Hospital  : 
and  that  A,  B,  C  give  their  services  in  making 
articles  to  sell,  and  in  acting  as  salesmen, 
while  X,  Y,  Z  buy  the  articles,  and  the  money 
so  paid  goes  to  the  Hospital. 

"  There  are  two  distinct  species  of  such 
Bazaars  :  one,  where  the  payment  exacted  is 
merely  the  market-value  of  the  goods  supplied, 
that  is,  exactly  what  you  would  have  to  pay  at 
a  shop  :  the  other,  where  fancy-prices  are 
asked.  We  must  take  these  separately. 

"First,  the  'market-value'  case.  Here  A, 
B,  C  are  exactly  in  the  same  position  as  ordinary 
shopkeepers  ;  the  only  difference  being  that 
they  give  the  proceeds  to  the  Hospital.  Prac- 
tically, they  are  giving  their  skilled  labour  for 
the  benefit  of  the  Hospital.  This  seems  to 


46  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

me  to  be  genuine  charity.  And  I  don't  see 
how  they  could  use  it  better.  But  X,  Y,  Z, 
are  exactly  in  the  same  position  as  any 
ordinary  purchasers  of  goods.  To  talk  of 
'  charity  '  in  connection  with  their  share  of  the 
business,  is  sheer  nonsense.  Yet  they  are 
very  likely  to  do  so. 

"Secondly,  the  case  of 'fancy-prices.'  Here 
I  think  the  simplest  plan  is  to  divide  the  pay- 
ment into  two  parts,  the  '  market-value  '  and 
the  excess  over  that.  The  '  market-value ' 
part  is  on  the  same  footing  as  in  the  first  case  : 
the  excess  is  all  we  have  to  consider.  Well, 
A,  B,  C  do  not  earn  it  ;  so  we  may  put  them 
out  of  the  question  :  it  is  a  gift,  from  X,  Y,  Z, 
to  the  Hospital.  And  my  opinion  is  that  it  is 
not  given  in  the  best  way  :  far  better  buy  what 
they  choose  to  buy,  and  give  what  they  choose 
to  give,  as  two  separate  transactions :  then 
there  is  some  chance  that  their  motive  in  giving 
may  be  real  charity,  instead  of  a  mixed 

motive half  charity,  half  self-pleasing.      '  The 

trail  of  the  serpent  is  over  it  all.'  And  there- 
fore it  is  that  I  hold  all  such  spurious 
'  Charities  '  in  utter  abomination  !  "  He  ended 


in]  STREAKS   OF   DAWN.  47 

with  unusual  energy,  and  savagely  beheaded, 
with  his  stick,  a  tall  thistle  at  the  road-side, 
behind  which  I  was  startled  to  see  Sylvie 
and  Bruno  standing.  I  caught  at  his  arm, 
but  too  late  to  stop  him.  Whether  the 
stick  reached  them,  or  not,  I  could  not  feel 
sure  :  at  any  rate  they  took  not  the  smallest 
notice  of  it,  but  smiled  gaily,  and  nodded  to 
me ;  and  I  saw  at  once  that  they  were  only 
visible  to  me :  the  '  eerie '  influence  had  not 
reached  to  Arthur. 

"Why  did  you  try  to  save  it?"  he  said. 
"  Thafs  not  the  wheedling  Secretary  of  a 
Charity-Bazaar!  I  only  wish  it  were!"  he 
added  grimly. 

"  Doos  oo  know,  that  stick  went  right  froo 
my  head  !  "  said  Bruno.  (They  had  run  round 
to  me  by  this  time,  and  each  had  secured  a 
hand.)  "  Just  under  my  chin  !  I  are  glad  I 
aren't  a  thistle  ! " 

"  Well,  we've  threshed  that  subject  out, 
anyhow !"  Arthur  resumed.  "I'm  afraid  I've 
been  talking  too  much,  for  your  patience  and 
for  my  strength.  I  must  be  turning  soon. 
This  is  about  the  end  of  my  tether." 


48  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Take,  O  boatman,  thrice  thy  fee  ; 
Take,  I  give  it  willingly  ; 
For,  invisible  to  thee, 
Spirits  twain  Jiave  crossed  ivitJi  me  ! " 

I  quoted,  involuntarily. 

"  For  utterly  inappropriate  and  irrelevant 
quotations,"  laughed  Arthur,  "  you  are  'ekalled 
by  few,  and  excelled  by  none  '  !  "  And  we 
strolled  on. 

As  we  passed  the  head  of  the  lane  that  led 
down  to  the  beach,  I  noticed  a  single  figure, 
moving  slowly  along  it,  seawards.  She  was  a 
good  way  off,  and  had  her  back  to  us  :  but  it 
was  Lady  Muriel,  unmistakably.  Knowing 
that  Arthur  had  not  seen  her,  as  he  had  been 
looking,  in  the  other  direction,  at  a  gathering 
rain-cloud,  I  made  no  remark,  but  tried  to 
think  of  some  plausible  pretext  for  sending 
him  back  by  the  sea. 

The  opportunity  instantly  presented  itself. 
"  I'm  getting  tired,"  he  said.  "  I  don't  think 
it  would  be  prudent  to  go  further.  I  had 
better  turn  here. 

I  turned  with  him,  for  a  few  steps,  and  as 
we  again  approached  the  head  of  the  lane,  I 


in]  STREAKS    OF    DAWN.  49 

said,  as  carelessly  as  I  could,  "  Don't  go  back 
by  the  road.  It's  too  hot  and  dusty.  Down 
this  lane,  and  along  the  beach,  is  nearly  as 
short ;  and  you'll  get  a  breeze  off  the  sea." 

"Yes,  I  think  I  will,"  Arthur  began  ;  but  at 
that  moment  we  came  into  sight  of  Lady 
Muriel,  and  he  checked  himself.  "  No,  it's 
too  far  round.  Yet  it  certainly  would  be 

cooler He  stood,  hesitating,  looking 

first  one  way  and  then  the  other a  melan- 
choly picture  of  utter  infirmity  of  purpose  ! 

How  long  this  humiliating  scene  would  have 
continued,  if  /  had  been  the  only  external 
influence,  it  is  impossible  to  say  ;  for  at  this 
moment  Sylvie,  with  a  swift  decision  worthy 
of  Napoleon  himself,  took  the  matter  into 
her  own  hands.  "  You  go  and  drive  her,  up 
this  way,"  she  said  to  Bruno.  "  I'll  get  him 
along ! "  And  she  took  hold  of  the  stick  that 
Arthur  was  carrying,  and  gently  pulled  him 
down  the  lane. 

He  was  totally  unconscious  that  any  will 
but  his  own  was  acting  on  the  stick,  and 
appeared  to  think  it  had  taken  a  horizontal 
position  simply  because  he  was  pointing  with 

E 


50  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


it.  "Are  not  those  orchises  under  the  hedge 
there  ? "  he  said.  "  I  think  that  decides  me. 
I'll  gather  some  as  I  go  along." 

Meanwhile  Bruno  had  run  on  beyond  Lady 
Muriel,  and,  with  much  jumping  about  and  shout- 
ing (shouts  audible  to  no  one  but  Sylvie  and 
myself),  much  as  if  he  were  driving  sheep,  he 
managed  to  turn  her  round  and  make  her 


ill]  STREAKS    OF    DAWN.  51 

walk,  with  eyes  demurely  cast  upon  the  ground, 
in  our  direction. 

The  victory  was  ours  !  And,  since  it  was 
evident  that  the  lovers,  thus  urged  together, 
must  meet  in  another  minute,  I  turned  and 
walked  on,  hoping  that  Sylvie  and  Bruno 
would  follow  my  example,  as  I  felt  sure  that 
the  fewer  the  spectators  the  better  it  would  be 
for  Arthur  and  his  good  angel. 

"And  what  sort  of  meeting  was  it?"  I 
wondered,  as  I  paced  dreamily  on. 


CHAPTER   IV. 

T^E    DOG-KING. 

"  THEY  shocked  hands,"  said  Bruno,  who 
was  trotting  at  my  side,  in  answer  to  the  un- 
spoken question. 

"  And  they  looked  ever  so  pleased !  "  Sylvie 
added  from  the  other  side. 

"Well,  we  must  get  on,  now,  as  quick  as  we 
can,"  I  said.  "If  only  I  knew  the  best  way  to 
Hunter's  farm  ! " 

"  They'll  be  sure  to  know  in  this  cottage," 
said  Sylvie. 

"  Yes,  I  suppose  they  will.  Bruno,  would 
you  run  in  and  ask  ?  " 


iv]  THE    DOG-KING.  53 

Sylvie  stopped  him,  laughingly,  as  he  ran  off. 
"Wait  a  minute,"  she  said.  "  I  must  make  you 
visible  first,  you  know." 

"And  audible  too,  I  suppose  ?  "  I  said,  as  she 
took  the  jewel,  that  hung  round  her  neck,  and 
waved  it  over  his  head,  and  touched  his  eyes 
and  lips  with  it. 

"  Yes,"  said  Sylvie :  "  and  once,  do  you  know, 
I  made  him  audible,  and  forgot  to  make  him 
visible  !  And  he  went  to  buy  some  sweeties  in 
a  shop.  And  the  man  was  so  frightened !  A 
voice  seemed  to  come  out  of  the  air,  '  Please,  I 
want  two  ounces  of  barley-sugar  drops  ! '  And 
a  shilling  came  bang  down  upon  the  counter ! 
And  the  man  said  '  I  ca'n't  see  you  ! '  And 
Bruno  said  '  It  doosn't  sinnify  seeing  me,  so 
long  as  oo  can  see  the  shilling!'  But  the  man 
said  he  never  sold  barley-sugar  drops  to  people 

he  couldn't  see.  So  we  had  to Now,  Bruno, 

you're  ready  !  "  And  away  he  trotted. 

Sylvie  spent  the  time,  while  we  were  waiting 
for  him,  in  making  herself  visible  also.  ''  It's 
rather  awkward,  you  know,"  she  explained  to 
me,  "when  we  meet  people,  and  they  can  see 
one  of  us,  and  ca'n't  see  the  other  !  " 


54  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

In  a  minute  or  two  Bruno  returned,  looking 
rather  disconsolate.  "  He'd  got  friends  with 
him,  and  he  were  cross !  "  he  said.  "  He  asked 
me  who  I  were.  And  I  said  '  I'm  Bruno  :  who 
is  these  peoples  ? '  And  he  said  '  One's  my 
half-brother,  and  t'other's  my  half-sister :  and  I 
don't  want  no  more  company  !  Go  along  with 
yer ! '  And  I  said  'I  ca'n't  go  along  wizout 
mine  self!'  And  I  said  '  Oo  shouldn't  have  bits 
of  peoples  lying  about  like  that!  It's  welly 
untidy  ! '  And  he  said  '  Oh,  don't  talk  to  me ! ' 
And  he  pushted  me  outside  !  And  he  shutted 
the  door ! " 

"  And  you  never  asked  where  Hunter's  farm 
was  ?  "  queried  Sylvie. 

"  Hadn't  room  for  any  questions,"  said 
Bruno.  "  The  room  were  so  crowded." 

"  Three  people  couldrit  crowd  a  room,"  said 
Sylvie. 

"They  did,  though,"  Bruno  persisted.  "He 
crowded  it  most.  He's  such  a  welly  thick 
man so  as  oo  couldn't  knock  him  down." 

I  failed  to  see  the  drift  of  Bruno's  argument. 
"  Surely  anybody  could  be  knocked  down,"  I 
said  :  "thick  or  thin  wouldn't  matter." 


iv]  THE    DOG-KING.  55 

"  Oo  couldn't  knock  him  down,"  said  Bruno. 
"  He's  more  wider  than  he's  high  :  so,  when 
he's  lying  down,  he's  more  higher  than  when 
he's  standing  :  so  a-course  oo  couldn't  knock 
him  down  !  " 

"  Here's  another  cottage,"  I  said:  "/Y/ask 
the  way,  this  time." 

There  was  no  need  to  go  in,  this  time,  as  the 
woman  was  standing  in  the  doorway,  with  a 
baby  in  her  arms,  talking  to  a  respectably 

dressed  man a  farmer,  as    I   guessed  —  who 

seemed  to  be  on  his  way  to  the  town. 

— and  when  there's  drink  to  be  had,"  he 
was  saying,  "  he's  just  the  worst  o'  the  lot,  is 
your  Willie.  So  they  tell  me.  He  gets  fairly 
mad  wi'  it !  " 

"I'd  have  given  'em  the  lie  to  their  faces,  a 
twelvemonth  back ! "  the  woman  said  in  a 
broken  voice.  "  But  a'  canna  noo  !  A'  canna 
noo  !  "  She  checked  herself,  on  catching  sight 
of  us,  and  hastily  retreated  into  the  house, 
shutting  the  door  after  her. 

"  Perhaps  you  can  tell  me  where  Hunter's 
farm  is  ? "  I  said  to  the  man,  as  he  turned  away 
from  the  house. 


56  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  I  can  that,  Sir !  "  he  replied  with  a  smile. 
"  I'm  John  Hunter  hissel,  at  your  sarvice. 

It's    nobbut   half  a    mile    further the    only 

house  in  sight,  when  you  get  round  bend  o'  the 
road  yonder.  You'll  find  my  good  woman 
within,  if  so  be  you've  business  wi'  her.  Or 
mebbe  I'll  do  as  well  ?  " 

"  Thanks,"  I  said.  "  I  want  to  order  some 
milk.  Perhaps  I  had  better  arrange  it  with 
your  wife  ?  " 

"Aye,"   said  the  man.     "She  minds  all  that. 

Good  day  t'ye,  Master and  to  your  bonnie 

childer,  as  well !  "     And  he  trudged  on. 

"  He  should  have  said  '  child',  not  '  childer •' '," 
said  Bruno.  "  Sylvie's  not  a  childer  !  " 

"  He  meant  both  of  us,"  said  Sylvie. 

"  No,  he  didn't !  "  Bruno  persisted.  "  'cause 
he  said  '  bonnie ',  oo  know  ! " 

"Well,  at  any  rate  he  looked  at  us  both," 
Sylvie  maintained. 

"  Well,  then  he  must  have  seen  we're  not 
both  bonnie!"  Bruno  retorted.  "  A-course  I'm 
much  uglier  than  oo  !  Didn't  he  mean  Sylvie, 
Mister  Sir  ?  "  he  shouted  over  his  shoulder,  as 
he  ran  off. 


iv]  THE    DOG-KING.  57 

But  there  was  no  use  in  replying,  as  he  had 
already  vanished  round  the  bend  of  the  road. 
When  we  overtook  him  he  was  climbing  a 
gate,  and  was  gazing  earnestly  into  the  field, 
where  a  horse,  a  cow,  and  a  kid  were  browsing 
amicably  together.  "  For  its  father,  a  Horse" 
he  murmured  to  himself.  "  For  its  mother,  a 
Cow.  For  their  dear  little  child,  a  little  Goat, 
is  the  most  curiousest  thing  I  ever  seen  in  my 
world ! " 

"Bruno's  World!"  I  pondered.  "Yes,  I 
suppose  every  child  has  a  world  of  his  own 
— and  every  man,  too,  for  the  matter  of  that. 
I  wonder  if  that's  the  cause  for  all  the  mis- 
understanding there  is  in  Life  ?  " 

"  That  must  be  Hunter's  farm  !  "  said  Sylvie, 
pointing  to  a  house  on  the  brow  of  the  hill,  led 
up  to  by  a  cart-road.  "  There's  no  other  farm 
in  sight,  this  way  ;  and  you  said  we  must  be 
nearly  there  by  this  time." 

I  had  thought  it,  while  Bruno  was  climbing 
the  gate,  but  I  couldn't  remember  having  said 
it.  However,  Sylvie  was  evidently  in  the 
right.  "  Get  down,  Bruno,"  I  said,  "  and  open 
the  gate  for  us." 


$8  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"It's  a  good  thing  we's  with  oo,  isnt  it, 
Mister  Sir  ? "  said  Bruno,  as  we  entered  the 
field.  "  That  big  dog  might  have  bited  oo,  if 
oo'd  been  alone !  Oo  needn't  be  /lightened 
of  it !  "  he  whispered,  clinging  tight  to  my  hand 
to  encourage  me.  "It  aren't  fierce  !  " 

"  Fierce  ! "  Sylvie  scornfully  echoed,  as  the 

dog a  magnificent  Newfoundland that  had 

come  galloping  down  the  field  to  meet  us, 
began  curveting  round  us,  in  gambols  full  of 
graceful  beauty,  and  welcoming  us  with  short 
joyful  barks.  "  Fierce  !  Why,  it's  as  gentle 

as  a   lamb !       It's why,    Bruno,    don't    you 

know  it  ?     It's— 

"  So  it  are  !  "  cried  Bruno,  rushing  forwards 
and  throwing  his  arms  round  its  neck.  "  Oh, 
you  dear  dog  !"  And.it  seemed  as  if  the  two 
children  would  never  have  done  hugging  and 
stroking  it. 

"  And  how  ever  did  he  get  here?  "  said  Bruno. 
"  Ask  him,  Sylvie.  I  doosn't  know  how." 

And  then  began  an  eager  talk  in  Doggee, 
which  of  course  was  lost  upon  me  ;  and  I  could 
only  guess,  when  the  beautiful  creature,  with 
a  sly  glance  at  me,  whispered  something  in 


iv]  THE    DOG-KING.  59 

Sylvie's  ear,  that  /  was  now  the  subject  of  con- 
versation. Sylvie  looked  round  laughingly. 

"He  asked  me  who  you  are,"  she  explained. 
"And  I  said  'He's  out  friend'  And  he  said 
'  What's  his  name  ?  '  And  I  said  '  It's  Mister 
Sir:  And  he  said  'Bosh!'" 

"  What  is  '  Bosh  ! '  in  Doggee  ?  "  I  enquired. 

"  It's  the  same  as  in  English,"  said  Sylvie. 
"  Only,  when  a  dog  says  it,  it's  a  sort  of  a 
whisper,  that's  half  a  cough  and  half  a  bark. 
Nero,  say  'Bosh!'" 

And  Nero,  who  had  now  begun  gamboling 
round  us  again,  said  "  Bosh  !  "  several  times ; 
and  I  found  that  Sylvie's  description  of  the 
sound  was  perfectly  accurate. 

"  I  wonder  what's  behind  this  long  wall  ? " 
I  said,  as  we  walked  on. 

"  It's  the  Orchard"  Sylvie  replied,  after  a 
consultation  with  Nero.  "  See,  there's  a  boy 
getting  down  off  the  wall,  at  that  far  corner. 
And  now  he's  running  away  across  the  field.  I 
do  believe  he's  been  stealing  the  apples  !  " 

Bruno  set  off  after  him,  but  returned  to  us  in 
a  few  moments,  as  he  had  evidently  no  chance 
of  overtaking  the  young  rascal. 


60  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  I  couldn't  catch  him!  "  he  said.  "  Iwiss 
I'd  started  a  little  sooner.  His  pockets  was 
full  of  apples  !  " 

The  Dog-King  looked  up  at  Sylvie,  and 
said  something  in  Doggee. 

"  Why,  of  course  you.  can  !  "  Sylvie  exclaimed. 
"How  stupid  not  to  think  of  it !  Nero\\  hold 
him  for  us,  Bruno !  But  I'd  better  make  him 
invisible,  first."  And  she  hastily  got  out  the 
Magic  Jewel,  and  began  waving  it  over  Nero's 
head,  and  down  along  his  back. 

"  That'll  do ! "  cried  Bruno,  impatiently. 
"After  him,  good  Doggie!" 

"  Oh,  Bruno ! "  Sylvie  exclaimed  reproach- 
fully. "  You  shouldn't  have  sent  him  off  so 
quick  !  I  hadn't  done  the  tail !  " 

Meanwhile  Nero  was  coursing  like  a  grey- 
hound down  the  field  :  so  at  least  I  concluded 

from  all  /  could  see  of  him the  long  feathery 

tail,  which  floated  like  a  meteor  through  the 

air and  in  a  very  few  seconds  he  had  come 

up  with  the  little  thief. 

"  He's  got  him  safe,  by  one  foot !  "  cried 
Sylvie,  who  was  eagerly  watching  the  chase. 
14  Now  there's  no  hurry,  Bruno  !  " 


iv]  THE    DOG-KING.  61 

So  we  walked,  quite  leisurely,  down  the 
field,  to  where  the  frightened  lad  stood.  A 
more  curious  sight  I  had  seldom  seen,  in  all 
my  '  eerie  '  experiences.  Every  bit  of  him  was 
in  violent  action,  except  the  left  foot,  which  was 

apparently  glued  to  the  ground there  being 

nothing  visibly  holding  it  :  while,  at  some  little 
distance,  the  long  feathery  tail  was  waving 
gracefully  from  side  to  side,  showing  that  Nero, 
at  least,  regarded  the  whole  affair  as  nothing 
but  a  magnificent  game  of  play. 

"  What's  the  matter  with  you  ?  "  I  said,  as 
gravely  as  I  could. 

"  Got  the  crahmp  in   me  ahnkle ! "  the  thief 
groaned    in    reply.       "  An'    me    fut's    gone    to 
sleep  ! "     And  he  began  to  blubber  aloud. 

"  Now,  look  here  !  "  Bruno  said  in  a  com- 
manding tone,  getting  in  front  of  him.  "  Oo've 
got  to  give  up  those  apples !  " 

The  lad  glanced  at  me,  but  didn't  seem 
to  reckon  my  interference  as  worth  anything. 
Then  he  glanced  at  Sylvie  :  she  clearly  didn't 
count  for  very  much,  either.  Then  he  took 
courage.  "  It'll  take  a  better  man  than  any  of 
yer  to  get  'em  ! "  he  retorted  defiantly. 


62  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


iv]  THE    DOG-KING.  63 

Sylvie  stooped  and  patted  the  invisible  Nero. 
"  A  little  tighter  ! "  she  whispered.  And  a  sharp 
yell  from  the  ragged  boy  showed  how  promptly 
the  Dog- King  had  taken  the  hint. 

"  What's  the  matter  now?"  I  said.  "Is 
your  ankle  worse  ?  " 

"  And  it'll  get  worse,  and  worse,  and  worse,'' 
Bruno  solemnly  assured  him,  "  till  oo  gives 
up  those  apples  !  " 

Apparently  the  thief  was  convinced  of  this 
at  last,  and  he  sulkily  began  emptying  his 
pockets  of  the  apples.  The  children  watched 
from  a  little  distance,  Bruno  dancing  with 
delight  at  every  fresh  yell  extracted  from 
Nero's  terrified  prisoner. 

"  That's  all,"  the  boy  said  at  last. 

"It  isrit  all !  "  cried  Bruno.  "  There's  three 
more  in  that  pocket !  " 

Another  hint  from  Sylvie  to  the   Dog- King 
— another    sharp    yell    from    the    thief,     now 

convicted   of   lying   also and    the  remaining 

three  apples  were  surrendered. 

"  Let  him  go,  please,"  Sylvie  said  in  Doggee, 
and  the  lad  limped  away  at  a  great  pace, 
stooping  now  and  then  to  rub  the  ailing  ankle, 


64  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


iv]  THE    DOG-KING.  65 

in    fear,  seemingly,    that   the   '  crahmp '   might 
attack  it  again. 

Bruno  ran  back,  with  his  booty,  to  the 
orchard  wall,  and  pitched  the  apples  over  it 
one  by  one.  "  I's  welly  afraid  some  of  them's 
gone  under  the  wrong  trees ! "  he  panted,  on 
overtaking  us  again. 

"  The  wrong  trees  !  "  laughed  Sylvie.  "  Trees 
cant  do  wrong !  There's  no  such  things  as 
wrong  trees  ! " 

"  Then  there's  no  such  things  as  right 
trees,  neither !  "  cried  Bruno.  And  Sylvie  gave 
up  the  point. 

"Wait  a  minute,  please!"  she  said  to  me. 
"I  must  make  Nero  visible,  you  know!" 

"  No,  please  don't !  "  cried  Bruno,  who  had 
by  this  time  mounted  on  the  Royal  back,  and 
was  twisting  the  Royal  hair  into  a  bridle. 
"  It'll  be  such  fun  to  have  him  like  this  ! " 

"Well,  it  does  look  funny,"  Sylvie  admitted, 
and  led  the  way  to  the  farm-house,  where  the 
farmer's  wife  stood,  evidently  much  perplexed 
at  the  weird  procession  now  approaching  her. 
"  It's  summat  gone  wrong  wi'  my  spectacles, 
I  doubt !  "  she  murmured,  as  she  took  them 


66  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

off,  and  began  diligently  rubbing  them  with  a 
corner  of  her  apron. 

Meanwhile  Sylvie  had  hastily  pulled  Bruno 
down  from  his  steed,  and  had  just  time  to  make 
His  Majesty  wholly  visible  before  the  spectacles 
were  resumed. 

All  was  natural,  now  ;  but  the  good  woman 
still  looked  a  little  uneasy  about  it.  "  My 
eyesight's  getting  bad,"  she  said,  "but  I  see 
you  now,  my  darlings !  You'll  give  me  a  kiss, 
wo'n't  you  ?  " 

Bruno  got  behind  me,  in  a  moment :  however 
Sylvie  put  up  her  face,  to  be  kissed,  as  repre- 
sentative of  both,  and  we  all  went  in  together. 


CHAPTER   V. 

MATILDA   JANE. 

"  COME  to  me,  my  little  gentleman,''  said 
our  hostess,  lifting  Bruno  into  her  lap,  "and 
tell  me  everything." 

"  I  ca'n't,"  said  Bruno.  "  There  wouldn't  be 
time.  Besides,  I  don't  know  everything." 

The  good  woman  looked  a  little  puzzled, 
and  turned  to  Sylvie  for  help.  "  Does  he  like 
riding  ?  "  she  asked. 

"  Yes,  I  think  so,"  Sylvie  gently  replied. 
"  He's  just  had  a  ride  on  JVero." 

"  Ah,  Nero's  a  grand  dog,  isn't  he  ?  Were 
you  ever  outside  a  horse,  my  little  man  ?  " 

F  2 


68  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Always  /"  Bruno  said  with  great  decision. 
"  Never  was  inside  one.  Was  oo  ?  " 

Here  I  thought  it  well  to  interpose,  and  to 
mention  the  business  on  which  we  had  come, 
and  so  relieved  her,  for  a  few  minutes,  from 
Bruno's  perplexing  questions. 

"  And  those  dear  children  will  like  a  bit  of 
cake,  /'//warrant !  "  said  the  farmer's  hospitable 
wife,  when  the  business  was  concluded,  as  she 
opened  her  cupboard,  and  brought  out  a  cake. 
"And  don't  you  waste  the  crust,  little  gentle- 
man !  "  she  added,  as  she  handed  a  good  slice 
of  it  to  Bruno.  "  You  know  what  the  poetry- 
book  says  about  wilful  waste  ?" 

"  No,  I  dont,"  said  Bruno.  "  What  doos  he 
say  about  it  ?  " 

"  Tell  him,  Bessie  !  "  And  the  mother  looked 
down,  proudly  and  lovingly,  on  a  rosy  little 
maiden,  who  had  just  crept  shyly  into  the  room, 
and  was  leaning  against  her  knee.  "  WThat's 
that  your  poetry-book  says  about  wilful  waste  ? " 

"For  wilful  waste  makes  woeful  want"  Bessie 
recited,  in  an  almost  inaudible  whisper:  "and you 
may  live  to  say  '  How  much  I  wish  1  had  the 
crust  that  then  I  threw  away  / ' 


v]  MATILDA    JANE.  69 

"  Now  try  if  you  can  say  it,  my  dear !  For 
wilful— 

"For  wifful siimfinoruvver "  Bruno  be- 
gan, readily  enough  ;  and  then  there  came  a 
dead  pause.  "  Ca'n't  remember  no  more  ! " 

"  Well,  what  do  you  learn  from  it,  then  ?  You 
can  tell  us  that,  at  any  rate  ?  " 

Bruno  ate  a  little  more  cake,  and  considered  : 
but  the  moral  did  not  seem  to  him  to  be  a  very 
obvious  one. 

"Always  to—  Sylvie  prompted  him  in 

a  whisper. 

"  Always  to—  '  Bruno  softly  repeated  :  and 
then,  with  sudden  inspiration,  "  always  to  look 
where  it  goes  to  ! " 

"  Where  what  goes  to,  darling  ? " 

"  Why  the  crust,  a  course ! "  said  Bruno. 
"Then,  if  I  lived  to  say  'How  much  I  wiss 

I  had  the  crust '  (and  all  that),  I'd  know 

where  I  frew  it  to  !  " 

This  new  interpretation  quite  puzzled  the 
good  woman.  She  returned  to  the  subject  of 
'Bessie.'  "Wouldn't  you  like  to  see  Bessie's 
doll,  my  dears  !  Bessie,  take  the  little  lady  and 
gentleman  to  see  Matilda  Jane  !  " 


70  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Bessie's  shyness  thawed  away  in  a  moment. 
"  Matilda  Jane  has  just  woke  up,"  she  stated, 
confidentially,  to  Sylvie.  "  Wo'n't  you  help 
me  on  with  her  frock  ?  Them  strings  is  such 
a  bother  to  tie  !  " 

"  I  can  tie  strings,"  we  heard,  in  Sylvie's 
gentle  voice,  as  the  two  little  girls  left  the  room 
together.  Bruno  ignored  the  whole  proceeding, 
and  strolled  to  the  window,  quite  with  the  air  of 
a  fashionable  gentleman.  Little  girls,  and  dolls, 
were  not  at  all  in  his  line. 

And  forthwith  the  fond  mother  proceeded  to 
tell  me  (as  what  mother  is  not  ready  to  do  ?) 
of  all  Bessie's  virtues  (and  vices  too,  for  the 
matter  of  that)  and  of  the  many  fearful  maladies 
which,  notwithstanding  those  ruddy  cheeks  and 
that  plump  little  figure,  had  nearly,  time  and 
again,  swept  her  from  the  face  of  the  earth. 

When  the  full  stream  of  loving  memories  had 
nearly  run  itself  out,  I  began  to  question  her 
about  the  working  men  of  that  neighbourhood, 
and  specially  the  '  Willie.'  whom  we  had  heard 
of  at  his  cottage.  "He  was  a  good  fellow 
once,"  said  my  kind  hostess  :  "  but  it's  the  drink 
has  ruined  him  !  Not  that  I'd  rob  them  of  the 


v]  MATILDA    JANE.  71 

drink it's    good    for    the    most   of    them— 

but  there's  some  as  is  too  weak  to  stand 
agin'  temptations  :  it's  a  thousand  pities,  for 
them,  as  they  ever  built  the  Golden  Lion  at 
the  corner  there  !  " 

"  The  Golden  Lion  ?  "   I  repeated. 

"  It's  the  new  Public,"  my  hostess  explained. 
"  And  it  stands  right  in  the  way.  and  handy 
for  the  workmen,  as  they  come  back  from  the 
brickfields,  as  it  might  be  to-day,  with  their 
week's  wages.  A  deal  of  money  gets  wasted 
that  way.  And  some  of  'em  gets  drunk." 

"  If  only  they  could  have  it  in  their  own 
houses—  "  I  mused,  hardly  knowing  I  had  said 
the  words  out  loud. 

"  That's  it !  "  she  eagerly  exclaimed.  It  was 
evidently  a  solution,  of  the  problem,  that  she 
had  already  thought  out.  "If  only  you  could 
manage,  so's  each  man  to  have  his  own  little 

barrel  in   his   own   house there'd    hardly  be 

a  drunken  man  in  the  length  and  breadth  of 
the  land !  " 

And  then   I   told    her  the  old  story about 

a  certain  cottager  who  bought  himself  a  little 
barrel  of  beer,  and  installed  his  wife  as  bar- 


72  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

keeper  :  and  how,  every  time  he  wanted  his 
mug  of  beer,  he  regularly  paid  her  over  the 
counter  for  it :  and  how  she  never  would  let 
him  go  on  '  tick,'  and  was  a  perfectly  inflexible 
bar-keeper  in  never  letting  him  have  more  than 
his  proper  allowance  :  and  how,  every  time  the 
barrel  needed  refilling,  she  had  plenty  to  do  it 
with,  and  something  over  for  her  money-box  : 
and  how,  at  the  end  of  the  year,  he  not 
only  found  himself  in  first-rate  health  and  spirits, 
with  that  undefinable  but  quite  unmistakeable 
air  which  always  distinguishes  the  sober  man 
from  the  one  who  takes  '  a  drop  too  much,'  but 
had  quite  a  box  full  of  money,  all  saved  out  of 
his  own  pence ! 

"  If  only  they'd  all  do  like  that!"  said  the 
good  woman,  wiping  her  eyes,  which  were  over- 
flowing with  kindly  sympathy.  "  Drink  hadn't 
need  to  be  the  curse  it  is  to  some 

"  Only  a  curse,"  I  said,  "  when  it  is  used 
wrongly.  Any  of  God's  gifts  may  be  turned 
into  a  curse,  unless  we  use  it  wisely.  But 
we  must  be  getting  home.  Would  you  call  the 
little  girls  ?  Matilda  Jane  has  seen  enough 
of  company,  for  one  day,  I'm  sure  !  " 


v]  MATILDA    JANE.  73 

"  I'll  find  'em  in  a  minute,"  said  my  hostess, 
as  she  rose  to  leave  the  room.  "  Maybe  that 
young  gentleman  saw  which  way  they  went  ? " 

"  Where  are  they,  Bruno  ?"  I  said. 

"  They  ain't  in  the  field,"  was  Bruno's  rather 
evasive  reply,  "  'cause  there's  nothing  but  pigs 
there,  and  Sylvie  isn't  a  pig.  Now  don't 
imperrupt  me  any  more,  'cause  I'm  telling  a 
story  to  this  fly  ;  and  it  won't  attend !  " 

"They're  among  the  apples,  I'll  warrant 
'em ! "  said  the  Farmer's  wife.  So  we  left 
Bruno  to  finish  his  story,  and  went  out  into  the 
orchard,  where  we  soon  came  upon  the  children, 
walking  sedately  side  by  side,  Sylvie  carrying 
the  doll,  while  little  Bess  carefully  shaded,  its 
face,  with  a  large  cabbage-leaf  for  a  parasol. 

As  soon  as  they  caught  sight  of  us,  little  Bess 
dropped  her  cabbage-leaf  and  came  running  to 
meet  us,  Sylvie  following  more  slowly,  as  her 
precious  charge  evidently  needed  great  care 
and  attention. 

"  I'm  its  Mamma,  and  Sylvie's  the  Head- 
Nurse,"  Bessie  explained :  "and  Sylvie's  taught 
me  ever  such  a  pretty  song,  for  me  to  sing  to 
Matilda  Jane ! " 


74  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Let's  hear  it  once  more,  Sylvie,"  I  said, 
delighted  at  getting  the  chance  I  had  long 
wished  for,  of  hearing  her  sing.  But  Sylvie 
turned  shy  and  frightened  in  a  moment.  "  No, 
please  not ! "  she  said,  in  an  earnest  '  aside '  to 
me.  "  Bessie  knows  it  quite  perfect  now. 
Bessie  can  sing  it !  " 

"  Aye,  aye !  Let  Bessie  sing  it  ! "  said  the 
proud  mother.  "  Bessie  has  a  bonny  voice  of 
her  own,"  (this  again  was  an  '  aside '  to  me) 
"  though  I  say  it  as  shouldn't !  " 

Bessie  was  only  too  happy  to  accept  the 
'  encore.'  So  the  plump  little  Mamma  sat 
down  at  our  feet,  with  her  hideous  daughter 
reclining  stiffly  across  her  lap  (it  was  one  of 
a  kind  that  wo'n't  sit  down,  under  any  amount 
of  persuasion),  and,  with  a  face  simply  beaming 
with  delight,  began  the  lullaby,  in  a  shout  that 
ought  to  have  frightened  the  poor  baby  into  fits. 
The  Head-Nurse  crouched  down  behind  her, 
keeping  herself  respectfully  in  the  back-ground, 
with  her  hands  on  the  shoulders  of  her  little 
mistress,  so  as  to  be  ready  to  act  as  Prompter, 
if  required,  and  to  supply  '  each  gap  in  faithless 
memory  void' 


v] 


MATILDA    JANE. 


75 


The  shout,  with  which  she  began,  proved  to 
be  only  a  momentary  effort.  After  a  very  few 
notes,  Bessie  toned  down,  and  sang  on  in  a 
small  but  very  sweet  voice.  At  first  her  great 
black  eyes  were  fixed  on  her  mother,  but  soon 
her  gaze  wandered  upwards,  among  the  apples, 
and  she  seemed  to  have  quite  forgotten  that 
she  had  any  other  audience  than  her  Baby,  and 
her  Head-Nurse,  who  once  or  twice  supplied, 
almost  inaudibly,  the  right  note,  when  the  singer 
was  getting  a  little  '  flat.' 


76  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"Matilda  Jane,  you  never  look 
At  any  toy  or  picture-book : 
I  show  you  pretty  things  in  vain — 
You  must  be  blind,  Matilda  Jane ! 

"  /  ask  you  riddles,  tell  you  tales, 
But  all  our  conversation  fails: 
You   never  answer  me  again — 
/  fear  you're  dumb,  Matilda  Jane  ! 

"Matilda,  darling,  when  I  call, 
You  never  seem  to  hear  at  all: 
I  shout  with  all  my  migJit  and  main— 
But  you're  so  deaf,  Matilda  Jane  ! 

"Matilda  Jane,  you  needn't  mind: 
For,  though  you're  deaf,  and  dumb,  and  blind, 
There  s  some  one  loves  you,  it  is  plain- — 
And  that  is  me,  Matilda  Jane  !  " 

She  sang  three  of  the  verses  in  a  rather  per- 
functory style,  but  the  last  stanza  evidently 
excited  the  little  maiden.  Her  voice  rose,  ever 
clearer  and  louder :  she  had  a  rapt  look  on  her 
face,  as  if  suddenly  inspired,  and,  as  she  sang 
the  last  few  words,  she  clasped  to  her  heart 
the  inattentive  Matilda  Jane. 


v]  MATILDA    JANE.  77 

"  Kiss  it  now !"  prompted  the  Head-Nurse. 
And  in  a  moment  the  simpering  meaningless 
face  of  the  Baby  was  covered  with  a  shower 
of  passionate  kisses. 

"  What  a  bonny  song  !  "  cried  the  Farmer's 
wife.  "  Who  made  the  words,  dearie  ?  " 

"  I— I  think  I'll  look  for  Bruno,"  Sylvie 
said  demurely,  and  left  us  hastily.  The  curious 
child  seemed  always  afraid  of  being  praised,  or 
even  noticed. 

"  Sylvie  planned  the  words,"  Bessie  informed 
us,  proud  of  her  superior  information:  "and 

Bruno  planned  the  music and  /  sang  it ! ' 

(this  last  circumstance,  by  the  way,  we  did  not 
need  to  be  told). 

So  we  followed  Sylvie,  and  all  entered  the 
parlour  together.  Bruno  was  still  standing  at 
the  window,  with  his  elbows  on  the  sill.  He 
had,  apparently,  finished  the  story  that  he  was 
telling  to  the  fly,  and  had  found  a  new 
occupation.  "Don't  imperrupt!"  he  said  as 
we  came  in.  "I'm  counting  the  Pigs  in  the 
held ! " 

"  How  many  are  there  ?  "  I  enquired. 

"  About  a  thousand  and  four,"  said  Bruno. 


78  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  You  mean  '  about  a  thousand,' '  Sylvie 
corrected  him.  "  There's  no  good  saying  { and 
four '  :  you  cant  be  sure  about  the  four !  ' 

"And  you're  as  wrong  as  ever!"  Bruno 
exclaimed  triumphantly.  "  It's  just  the  four  I 
can  be  sure  about ;  'cause  they're  here,  grub-- 
bling  under  the  window!  It's  the  thousand 
I  isn't  pruffickly  sure  about ! " 

"  But  some  of  them  have  gone  into  the 
sty,"  Sylvie  said,  leaning  over  him  to  look  out 
of  the  window. 

"  Yes,"  said  Bruno  ;  "  but  they  went  so  slowly 
and  so  fewly,  I  didn't  care  to  count  than" 

"We  must  be  going,  children,"  I  said. 
"Wish  Bessie  good-bye."  Sylvie  flung  her 
arms  round  the  little  maiden's  neck,  and  kissed 
her  :  but  Bruno  stood  aloof,  looking  unusually 
shy.  ("I  never  kiss  nobody  but  Sylvie  !  "  he 
explained  to  me  afterwards.)  The  farmer's 
wife  showed  us  out :  and  we  were  soon  on  our 
way  back  to  Elveston. 

"  And  that's  the  new  public-house  that  we 
were  talking  about,  I  suppose  ? "  I  said,  as 
we  came  in  sight  of  a  long  low  building,  with 
the  words  '  THE  GOLDEN  LION  '  over  the  door. 


v]  MATILDA    JANE.  79 

"Yes,  that's  it,"  said  Sylvie.  "1  wonder  if 
her  Willie's  inside  ?  Run  in,  Bruno,  and  see 
if  he's  there." 

I  interposed,  feeling  that  Bruno  was,  in  a 
sort  of  way,  in  my  care.  "That's  not  a  place 
to  send  a  child  into."  For  already  the  revelers 
were  getting  noisy :  and  a  wild  discord  of 
singing,  shouting,  and  meaningless  laughter 
came  to  us  through  the  open  windows. 

"  They  wo'n't  see  him,  you  know,"  Sylvie 
explained.  "  Wait  a  minute,  Bruno  !  "  She 
clasped  the  jewel,  that  always  hung  round  her 
neck,  between  the  palms  of  her  hands,  and 
muttered  a  few  words  to  herself.  What  they 
were  I  could  not  at  all  make  out,  but  some 
mysterious  change  seemed  instantly  to  pass 
over  us.  My  feet  seemed  to  me  no  longer  to 
press  the  ground,  and  the  dream-like  feeling 
came  upon  me,  that  I  was  suddenly  endowed 
with  the  power  of  floating  in  the  air.  I  could 
still  just  see  the  children  :  but  their  forms  were 
shadowy  and  unsubstantial,  and  their  voices 
sounded  as  if  they  came  from  some  distant 
place  and  time,  they  were  so  unreal.  How- 
ever, I  offered  no  further  opposition  to  Bruno's 


8o  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

going  into  the  house.  He  was  back  again  in 
a  few  moments.  "  No,  he  isn't  come  yet,"  he 
said.  "  They're  talking  about  him  inside,  and 
saying  how  drunk  he  was  last  week," 

While  he  was  speaking,  one  of  the  men 
lounged  out  through  the  door,  a  pipe  in  one 
hand  and  a  mug  of  beer  in  the  other,  and 
crossed  to  where  we  were  standing,  so  as  to 
get  a  better  view  along  the  road.  Two  or 
three  others  leaned  out  through  the  open 
window,  each  holding  his  mug  of  beer,  with 
red  faces  and  sleepy  eyes.  "  Canst  see  him, 
lad  ?  "  one  of  them  asked. 

"  I  dunnot  know,"  the  man  said,  taking  a 
step  forwards,  which  brought  us  nearly  face 
to  face.  Sylvie  hastily  pulled  me  out  of  his 
way.  "  Thanks,  child,"  I  said.  "  I  had  for- 
gotten he  couldn't  see  us.  What  would  have 
happened  if  I  had  staid  in  his  way  ?  " 

"  I  don't  know,"  Sylvie  said  gravely.  "It 
wouldn't  matter  to  tts ;  but  you  may  be  diffe- 
rent." She  said  this  in  her  usual  voice,  but 
the  man  took  no  sort  of  notice,  though  she 
was  standing  close  in  front  of  him,  and  looking 
up  into  his  face  as  she  spoke. 


v]  MATILDA    JANE.  Hi 

"  He's  coming  now  !  "  cried  Bruno,  pointing 
down  the  road. 

"  He  be  a-coomin  noo!"  echoed  the  man, 
stretching  out  his  arm  exactly  over  Bruno's 
head,  and  pointing  with  his  pipe. 

"  Then  chorus  agin ! "  was  shouted  out  by 
one  of  the  red-faced  men  in  the  window  :  and 
forthwith  a  dozen  voices  yelled,  to  a  harsh 
discordant  melody,  the  refrain  :— 

"  There's  him,  an'  yo,  an   me, 

Roariii   laddies  ! 
We  loves  a  bit  d  spree, 
Roariri  laddies  we, 

Roarirt  laddies 
Roarin'  laddies  !  " 

The  man  lounged  back  again  to  the  house, 
joining  lustily  in  the  chorus  as  he  went :  so 
that  only  the  children  and  I  .were  in  the  road 
when  '  Willie  '  came  up. 


CHAPTER   VI. 
WILLIE'S  WIFE. 

HE  made  for  the  door  of  the  public-house, 
but  the  children  intercepted  him.  Sylvie  clang 
to  one  arm  ;  while  Bruno,  on  the  opposite 
side,  was  pushing  him  with  all  his  strength, 
with  many  inarticulate  cries  of  "  Gee-up  !  Gee- 
back  !  Woah  then  !  "  which  he  had  picked  up 
from  the  waggoners. 

'  Willie '  took  not  the  least  notice  of  them  : 
he  was  simply  conscious  that  something  had 
checked  him  :  and,  for  want  of  any  other  way 
of  accounting  for  it,  he  seemed  to  regard  it 
as  his  own  act. 


VI] 


WILLIE'S    WIFE. 


'  I  wunnut  coom  in,"  he  said  :   "  not  to-day." 
"  A    mug   o'    beer    wunnut    hurt   'ee ! "    his 
friends  shouted  in  chorus.     "  Two  mugs  wunnut 
hurt  'ee  !     Nor  a  dozen  mugs  !  " 

G  2 


84  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Nay,"  said  Willie.  "  I'm  agoan  whoam." 

"  What,  withouten  thy  drink,  Willie  man  ?  " 
shouted  the  others.  But  '  Willie  man  '  would 
have  no  more  discussion,  and  turned  doggedly 
away,  the  children  keeping  one  on  each  side  of 
him,  to  guard  him  against  any  change  in  his 
sudden  resolution. 

For  a  while  he  walked  on  stoutly  enough, 
keeping  his  hands  in  his  pockets,  and  softly 
whistling  a  tune,  in  time  to  his  heavy  tread  : 
his  success,  in  appearing  entirely  at  his  ease, 
was  almost  complete ;  but  a  careful  observer 
would  have  noted  that  he  had  forgotten  the 
second  part  of  the  air,  and  that,  when  it  broke 
down,  he  instantly  began  it.  again,  being  too 
nervous  to  think  of  another,  and  too  restless 
to  endure  silence. 

It  was  not  the  old  fear  that  possessed  him 
now — the  old  fear,  that  had  been  his  dreary 
companion  every  Saturday  night  he  could  re- 
member, as  he  had  reeled  along,  steadying 
himself  against  gates  and  garden-palings,  and 
when  the  shrill  reproaches  of  his  wife  had 
seemed  to  his  dazed  brain  only  the  echo  of  a 
yet  more  piercing  voice  within,  the  intolerable 


vi]  WILLIE'S    WIFE.  85 

wail  of  a  hopeless  remorse  :  it  was  a  wholly 
new  fear  that  had  come  to  him  now  :  life  had 
taken  on  itself  a  new  set  of  colours,  and  was 
lighted  up  with  a  new  and  dazzling  radiance, 
and  he  did  not  see,  as  yet,  how  his  home-life, 
and  his  wife  and  child,  would  fit  into  the  new 
order  of  things  :  the  very  novelty  of  it  all  was, 
to  his  simple  mind,  a  perplexity  and  an  over- 
whelming terror. 

And  now  the  tune  died  into  sudden  silence 
on  the  trembling  lips,  as  he  turned  a  sharp 
corner,  and  came  in  sight  of  his  own  cottage, 
where  his  wife  stood,  leaning  with  folded  arms 
on  the  wicket-gate,  and  looking  up  the  road 
with  a  pale  face,  that  had  in  it  no  glimmer  of 
the  light  of  hope — only  the  heavy  shadow  of 
a  deep  stony  despair. 

"  Fine  an'  early,  lad  !  Fine  an'  early  !  "  The 
words  might  have  been  words  of  welcoming, 
but  oh,  the  bitterness  of  the  tone  in  which  she 
said  it !  "What  brings  thee  from  thy  merry 
mates,  and  all  the  fiddling  and  the  jigging  ? 
Pockets  empty,  I  doubt  ?  Or  thou'st  come, 
mebbe,  for  to  see  thy  little  one  die  ?  The 
bairnie's  clemmed,  and  I've  nor  bite  nor  sup 


86  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

to  gie  her.  But  what  does  tkou  care  ? "  She 
flung  the  gate  open,  and  met  him  with  blazing 
eyes  of  fury. 

The  man  said  no  word.  Slowly,  and  with 
downcast  eyes,  he  passed  into  the  house,  while 
she,  half  terrified  at  his  strange  silence,  followed 
him  in  without  another  word  ;  and  it  was  not 
till  he  had  sunk  into  a  chair,  with  his  arms 
crossed  on  the  table  and  with  drooping  head, 
that  she  found  her  voice  again. 

It  seemed  entirely  natural  for  us  to  go  in 
with  them :  at  another  time  one  would  have 
asked  leave  for  this,  but  I  felt,  I  knew  not 
why,  that  we  were  in  some  mysterious  way 
invisible,  and  as  free  to  come  and  to  go  as 
disembodied  spirits. 

The  child  in  the  cradle  woke  up,  and  raised 
a  piteous  cry,  which  in  a  moment  brought  the 
children  to  its  side  : '  Bruno  rocked  the  cradle, 
while  Sylvie  tenderly  replaced  the  little  head  on 
the  pillow  from  which  it  had  slipped.  But  the 
mother  took  no  heed  of  the  cry,  nor  yet  of  the 
satisfied  '  coo  '  that  it  set  up  when  Sylvie  had 
made  it  happy  again  :  she  only  stood  gazing  at 
her  husband,  and  vainly  trying,  with  white 


vi]  WILLIE'S    WIFE.  87 

quivering  lips  (I  believe  she  thought  he  was 
mad),  to  speak  in  the  old  tones  of  shrill  up- 
braiding that  he  knew  so  well. 

"And    thou'st    spent    all    thy    wages I'll 

swear  thou  hast on  the  devil's  own  drink— 

and  thou'st  been  and  made  thysen  a  beast 
again as  thou  allus  dost— 

"  Hasna  !  "  the  man  muttered,  his  voice  hardly 
rising  above  a  whisper,  as  he  slowly  emptied 
his  pockets  on  the  table.  "  There's  th'  wage, 
Missus,  every  penny  on't." 

The  woman  gasped,  and  put.  one  hand  to  her 
heart,  as  if  under  some  great  shock  of  surprise. 
"  Then  how  's  thee  gotten  th'  drink  ?  " 

"  Hasna  gotten  it,"  he  answered  her,  in  a 
tone  more  sad  than  sullen.  "  I  hanna  touched 
a  drop  this  blessed  day.  No  !  "  he  cried  aloud, 
bringing,  his  clenched  fist  heavily  down  upon 
the  table,  and  looking  up  at  her  with  gleaming 
eyes,  "nor  I'll  never  touch  another  drop  o'  the 

cursed    drink till    1    die so  help  me  God 

my  Maker!"  His  voice,  which  had  suddenly 
risen  to  a  hoarse  shout,  dropped  again  as 
suddenly  :  and  once  more  he  bowed  his  head, 
and  buried  his  face  in  his  folded  arms. 


88 


SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


vi]  WILLIE'S    WIFE.  89 

The  woman  had  dropped  upon  her  knees  by 
the  cradle,  while  he  was  speaking.  She  neither 
looked  at  him  nor  seemed  to  hear  him.  With 
hands  clasped  above  her  head,  she  rocked  her- 
self wildly  to  and  fro.  "  Oh  my  God  !  Oh  my 
God ! "  was  all  she  said,  over  and  over  again. 

Sylvie  and  Bruno  gently  unclasped  her  hands 

and  drew  them  down till  she  had  an  arm 

round  each  of  them,  though  she  took  no  notice 
of  them,  but  knelt  on  with  eyes  gazing  upwards, 
and  lips  that  moved  as  if  in  silent  thanksgiving. 
The  man  kept  his  face  hidden,  and  uttered  no 
sound :  but  one  could  see  the  sobs  that  shook 
him  from  head  to  foot. 

After  a  while  he  raised  his  head — his  face 
all  wet  with  tears.  "  Polly  !  "  he  said  softly  ; 
and  then,  louder,  "  Old  Poll !  " 

Then  she  rose  from  her  knees  and  came  to 
him,  with  a  dazed  look,  as  if  she  were  walk- 
ing in  her  sleep.  "  Who  was  it  called  me 
old  Poll  ?  "  she  asked  :  her  voice  took  on  it  a 
tender  playfulness :  her  eyes  sparkled ;  and 
the  rosy  light  of  Youth  flushed  her  pale  cheeks, 
till  she  looked  more  like  a  happy  girl  of  seven- 
teen than  a  worn  woman  of  forty.  "  Was 


90  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

that  my  own  lad,  my  Willie,  a- waiting  for  me 
at  the  stile  ?  " 

His  face  too  was  transformed,  in  the  same 
magic  light,  to  the  likeness  of  a  bashful  boy  : 
and  boy  and  girl  they  seemed,  as  he  wound 
an  arm  about  her,  and  drew  her  to  his  side, 
while  with  the  other  hand  he  thrust  from  him 
the  heap  of  money,  as  though  it  were  something 
hateful  to  the  touch.  "  Tak  it,  lass,"  he  said, 
"tak  it  all!  An'  fetch  us  summat  to  eat  :  but 
get  a  sup  o'  milk,  first,  for  t'  bairn/' 

"  My  little  bairn  ! "  she  murmured  as  she 
gathered  up  the  coins.  "  My  own  little  lassie  !" 
Then  she  moved  to  the  door,  and  was  passing 
out,  but  a  sudden  thought  seemed  to  arrest 

her  :  she  hastily  returned first  to  kneel  down 

and  kiss  the  sleeping  child,  and  then  to  throw 
herself  into  her  husband's  arms  and  be  strained 
to  his  heart.  The  next  moment  she  was  on 
her  way,  taking  with  her  a  jug  that  hung  on 
a  peg  near  the  door  :  we  followed  close  behind. 
We  had  not  gone  far  before  we  came  in  sight 
of  a  swinging  sign-board  bearing  the  word 
'  DAIRY  '  on  it,  and  here  she  went  in,  welcomed 
by  a  little  curly  white  dog,  who,  not  being 


vi]  WILLIE'S    WIFE.  91 

under  the  '  eerie '  influence,  saw  the  children, 
and  received  them  with  the  most  effusive  affec- 
tion. When  I  got  inside,  the  dairyman  was  in 
the  act  of  taking  the  money.  "  Is't  for  thysen, 
Missus,  or  for  t'  bairn  ? "  he  asked,  when  he  had 
filled  the  jug,  pausing  with  it  in  his  hand. 

"For  t'  bairn!"  she  said,  almost  reproach- 
fully. "  Think'st  tha  I'd  touch  a  drop  my  sen, 
while  as  she  hadna  got  her  fill  ? " 

"All  right,  Missus,"  the  man  replied,  turning 
away  with  the  jug  in  his  hand.  "  Let's  just 
rnak  sure  it's  good  measure."  He  went  back 
among  his  shelves  of  milk-bowls,  carefully  keep- 
ing his  back  towards  her  while  he  emptied  a 
little  measure  of  cream  into  the  jug,  muttering 
to  himself  "mebbe  it'll  hearten  her  up  a  bit, 
the  little  lassie ! " 

The  woman  never  noticed  the  kind  deed, 
but  took  back  the  jug  with  a  simple  "  Good 
evening,  Master,"  and  went  her  way  :  but  the 
children  had  been  more  observant,  and,  as 
we  followed  her  out,  Bruno  remarked  "  That 
were  welly  kind  :  and  I  loves  that  man  :  and 
if  I  was  welly  rich  I'd  give  him  a  hundred 
pounds and  a  bun.  That  little  grurnmeling 


92  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

dog  doosn't  know  its  business  ! ''  He  referred 
to  the  dairyman's  little  dog,  who  had  apparently 
quite  forgotten  the  affectionate  welcome  he  had 
given  us  on  our  arrival,  and  was  now  follow- 
ing at  a  respectful  distance,  doing  his  best  to 
'  speed  the  parting  guest '  with  a  shower  of 
little  shrill  barks,  that  seemed  to  tread  on  one 
another's  heels. 

"  What  is  a.  dog's  business  ?  "  laughed  Sylvie. 
"  Dogs  ca'n't  keep  shops  and  give  change !  " 

"  Sisters'  businesses  isrit  to  laugh  at  their 
brothers,"  Bruno  replied  with  perfect  gravity. 

"And  dogs'  businesses  is    to   bark not  like 

that :  it  should  finish  one  bark  before  it  begins 

another :    and    it  should Oh  Sylvie,   there's 

some  dindledums  ! " 

And  in  another  moment  the  happy  children 
were  flying  across  the  common,  racing  for  the 
patch  of  dandelions. 

While  I  stood  watching  them,  a  strange 
dreamy  feeling  came  upon  me  :  a  railway-plat- 
form seemed  to  take  the  place  of  the  green 
sward,  and,  instead  of  the  light  figure  of  Sylvie 
bounding  along,  I  seemed  to  see  the  flying 
form  of  Lady  Muriel  ;  but  whether  Bruno 


vi]  WILLIE'S    WIFE.  93 

had  also  undergone  a  transformation,  and  had 
become  the  old  man  whom  she  was  running  to 
overtake,  I  was  unable  to  judge,  so  instan- 
taneously did  the  feeling  come  and  go. 

When  I  re-entered  the  little  sitting-room 
which  I  shared  with  Arthur,  he  was  standing 
with  his  back  to  me,  looking  out  of  the  open 
window,  and  evidently  had  not  heard  me  enter. 
A  cup  of  tea,  apparently  just  tasted  and  pushed 
aside,  stood  on  the  table,  on  the  opposite  side  of 
which  was  a  letter,  just  begun,  with  the  pen 
lying  across  it :  an  open  book  lay  on  the  sofa  : 
the  London  paper  occupied  the  easy  chair  ;  and 
on  the  little  table,  which  stood  by  it,  I  noticed 
an  unlighted  cigar  and  an  open  box  of  cigar- 
lights  :  all  things  betokened  that  the  Doctor, 
usually  so  methodical  and  so  self-contained,  had 
been  trying  every  form  of  occupation,  and  could 
settle  to  none ! 

"This  is  very  unlike  you,  Doctor!"  I  was 
beginning,  but  checked  myself,  as  he  turned  at 
the  sound  of  my  voice,  in  sheer  amazement  at 
the  wonderful  change  that  had  taken  place  in 
his  appearance.  Never  had  I  seen  a  face  so 
radiant  with  happiness,  or  eyes  that  sparkled 


94  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

with  such  unearthly  light!  "Even  thus,"  I 
thought,  "  must  the  herald-angel  have  looked, 
who  brought  to  the  shepherds,  watching  over 
their  flocks  by  night,  that  sweet  message  of 
'  peace  on  earth,  good-will  to  men'  /" 

"  Yes,  dear  friend  ! "  he  said,  as  if  in  answer 
to  the  question  that  I  suppose  he  read  in  my 
face.  "  It  is  true  !  It  is  true  !  " 

No  need  to  ask  what  was  true.  "  God  bless 
you  both ! "  I  said,  as  I  felt  the  happy  tears 
brimming  to  my  eyes.  "You  were  made  for 
each  other ! " 

"  Yes,"  he  said,  simply,  "  I  believe  we  were. 
And  what  a  change  it  makes  in  one's  Life  ! 
This  isn't  the  same  world  !  That  isn't  the  sky 

I   saw  yesterday  !     Those   clouds 1    never 

saw  such  clouds  in  all  my  life  before  !  They 
look  like  troops  of  hovering  angels  !  " 

To  me  they  looked  very  ordinary  clouds 
indeed  :  but  then  /  had  not  fed  '  on  honey- 
dew,  And  drunk  the  milk  of  Paradise  '  ! 

"  She    wants    to    see    you at    once,"    he 

continued,  descending  suddenly  to  the  things 
of  earth.  "She  says  that  is  the  one  drop  yet 
wanting  in  her  cup  of  happiness  !  " 


vi]  WILLIE'S    WIFE.  95 

"  I'll  go  at  once,"  I  said,  as  I  turned  to  leave 
the  room.  "  Wo'n't  you  come  with  me  ?  " 

"  No,  Sir  ! "  said  the  Doctor,  with  a  sudden 

effort which    proved   an    utter    failure to 

resume  his  professional  manner.     "  Do  I  look 
like  coming  with  you  ?     Have  you  never  heard 

that  two  is  company,  and " 

'Yes,"  I  said,  "  I  have  heard  it:  and  I'm 
painfully  aware  that  /  am  Number  Three  !  But, 
when  shall  we  three  meet  again  ? " 

"  When  the  hurly-burly  s  done  /  "  he  answered 
with  a  happy  laugh,  such  as  I  had  not  heard 
from  him  for  many  a  year. 


CHAPTER  VII. 

MEIN     HERR. 

So  I  went  on  my  lonely  way,  and,  on  reach- 
ing the  Hall,  I  found  Lady  Muriel  standing  at 
the  garden-gate  waiting  for  me. 

"  No  need  to  give  you  joy,  or  to  wish  you 
joy  ? "  I  began. 

"None  whatever!"  she  replied,  with  the 
joyous  laugh  of  a  child.  "  We  give  people  what 
they  haven't  got :  we  wish  for  something  that 
is  yet  to  come.  For  me,  it's  all  here!  It's  all 
mine  I  Dear  friend,"  she  suddenly  broke  off, 
"do  you  think  Heaven  ever  begins  on  Earth, 
for  any  of  us  ?  " 


vii]  MEIN    HERR.  97 

"  For  some ,"  I  said.  "  For  some,  perhaps,  who 
are  simple  and  childlike.  You  know  He  said 
'  of  such  is  the  Kingdom  of  Heaven.' ' 

Lady  Muriel  clasped  her  hands,  and  gazed  up 
into  the  cloudless  sky,  with  a  look  I  had  often 
seen  in  Sylvie's  eyes.  "  I  feel  as  if  it  had  begun 
for  me"  she  almost  whispered.  "  I  feel  as  if  / 
were  one  of  the  happy  children,  whom  He  bid 
them  bring  near  to  Him,  though  the  people 
would  have  kept  them  back.  Yes,  He  has  seen 
me  in  the  throng.  He  has  read  the  wistful 
longing  in  my  eyes.  He  has  beckoned  me  to 
Him.  They  have  had  to  make  way  for  me. 
He  has  taken  me  up  in  His  arms.  He  has  put 
His  hands  upon  me  and  blessed  me!"  She 
paused,  breathless  in  her  perfect  happiness. 

"  Yes,"  I  said.     "  I  think  He  has  !  " 

"  You  must  come  and  speak  to  my  father," 
she  went  on,  as  we  stood  side  by  side  at  the 
gate,  looking  down  the  shady  lane.  But,  even 
as  she  said  the  words,  the  '  eerie '  sensation 
came  over  me  like  a  flood  :  I  saw  the  dear 
old  Professor  approaching  us,  and  also  saw, 
what  was  stranger  still,  that  he  was  visible  to 
Lady  Muriel ! 

H 


98  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

What  was  to  be  done  ?  Had  the  fairy-life 
been  merged  in  the  real  life  ?  Or  was  Lady 
Muriel  '  eerie '  also,  and  thus  able  to  enter  into 
the  fairy-world  along  with  me  ?  The  words 
were  on  my  lips  ("  I  see  an  old  friend  of  mine 
in  the  lane :  if  you  don't  know  him,  may  I 
introduce  him  to  you  ?  ")  when  the  strangest 
thing  of  all  happened  :  Lady  Muriel  spoke. 

"  I  see  an  old  friend  of  mine  in  the  lane," 
she  said  :  "  if  you  don't  know  him,  may  I 
introduce  him  to  you  ?  " 

I  seemed  to  wake  out  of  a  dream  :  for  the 
'  eerie '  feeling  was  still  strong  upon  me,  and 
the  figure  outside  seemed  to  be  changing  at 
every  moment,  like  one  of  the  shapes  in  a 
kaleidoscope  :  now  he  was  the  Professor,  and 
now  he  was  somebody  else  !  By  the  time  he 
had  reached  the  gate,  he  certainly  was  some- 
body else  :  and  I  felt  that  the  proper  course 
was  for  Lady  Muriel,  not  for  me,  to  introduce 
him.  She  greeted  him  kindly,  and,  opening 
the  gate,  admitted  the  venerable  old  man— 

a  German,  obviously who  looked  about  him 

with  dazed   eyes,  as  if  he,  too,   had    but   just 
awaked  from  a  dream  ! 


vn]  MEIN    HERR.  99 

No,  it  was  certainly  not  the  Professor !  My 
old  friend  coiild  not  have  grown  that  mag- 
nificent beard  since  last  we  met :  moreover,  he 
would  have  recognised  me,  for  I  was  certain 
that  /  had  not  changed  much  in  the  time. 

As  it  was,  he  simply  looked  at  me  vaguely, 
and  took  off  his  hat  in  response  to  Lady 
Muriel's  words  "  Let  me  introduce  Mein  Herr 
to  you "  ;  while  in  the  words,  spoken  in  a 
strong  German  accent,  "proud  to  make  your 
acquaintance,  Sir ! "  I  could  detect  no  trace 
of  an  idea  that  we  had  ever  met  before. 

Lady  Muriel  led  us  to  the  well-known  shady 
nook,  where  preparations  for  afternoon- tea  had 
already  been  made,  and,  while  she  went  in  to 
look  for  the  Earl,  we  seated  ourselves  in  two 
easy-chairs,  and  'Mein  Herr'  took  up  Lady 
Muriel's  work,  and  examined  it  through  his 
large  spectacles  (one  of  the  adjuncts  that 
made  him  so  provokingly  like  the  Professor). 
"Hemming  pocket-handkerchiefs?"  he  said, 
musingly.  "  So  that  is  what  the.  English 
miladies  occupy  themselves  with,  is  it  ?  " 

"  It  is  the  one  accomplishment,"  I  said,  "in 
which  Man  has  never  yet  rivaled  Woman  !  " 

H   2 


ioo         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Here  Lady  Muriel  returned  with  her  father  ; 
and,  after  he  had  exchanged  some  friendly 
words  with  '  Mein  Herr/  and  we  had  all  been 
supplied  with  the  needful  '  creature-comforts,' 
the  newcomer  returned  to  the  suggestive  sub- 
ject of  Pocket-handkerchiefs. 

"  You  have  heard  of  Fortunatus's  Purse, 
Miladi  ?  Ah,  so !  Would  you  be  surprised 
to  hear  that,  with  three  of  these  leetle  hand- 
kerchiefs, you  shall  make  the  Purse  of  Fortu- 
natus,  quite  soon,  quite  easily  ?  " 

"Shall  I  indeed?"  Lady  Muriel  eagerly 
replied,  as  she  took  a  heap  of  them  into  her 
lap,  and  threaded  her  needle.  "  Please  tell 
me  how,  Mein  Herr!  I'll  make  one  before 
I  touch  another  drop  of  tea ! f> 

"  You  shall  first,"  said  Mein  Herr,  possessing 
himself  of  two  of  the  handkerchiefs,  spreading 
one  upon  the  other,  and  holding  them  up  by 
two  corners,  "  you  shall  first  join  together 
these  upper  corners,  the  right  to  the  right, 
the  left  to  the  left ;  and  the  opening  between 
them  shall  be  the  mouth  of  the  Purse." 

A  very  few  stitches  sufficed  to  carry  out  this 
direction.  "Now,  if  I  sew  the  other  three 


vil]  MEIN    HERR.  101 

edges  together,"  she  suggested,  "  the  bag  is 
complete  ?  " 

"  Not  so,  Miladi :  the  lower  edges  shall  first 

be  joined ah,  not  so  !  "  (as  she  was  beginning 

to  sew  them  together).  "  Turn  one  of  them 
over,  and  join  the  right  lower  corner  of  the 
one  to  the  left  lower  corner  of  the  other,  and 
sew  the  lower  edges  together  in  what  you 
would  call  the  wrong  way." 

"  /  see ! "  said  Lady  Muriel,  as  she  deftly 
executed  the  order.  "  And  a  very  twisted, 
uncomfortable,  uncanny-looking  bag  it  makes ! 
But  the  moral  is  a  lovely  one.  Unlimited 
wealth  can  only  be  attained  by  doing  things 
in  the  wrong  way  !  And  how  are  we  to  join 
up  these  mysterious no,  I  mean  this  mys- 
terious opening  ? "  (twisting  the  thing  round 
and  round  with  a  puzzled  air.)  "Yes,  it  is  one 
opening.  I  thought  it  was  two,  at  first." 

"  You  have  seen  the  puzzle  of  the  Paper 
Ring  ? "  Mein  Herr  said,  addressing  the  Earl. 
"  Where  you  take  a  slip  of  paper,  and  join 
its  ends  together,  first  twisting  one,  so  as  to 
join  the  upper  corner  of  one  end  to  the  lower 
corner  of  the  other  ?  " 


102          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  I  saw  one  made,  only  yesterday,"  the 
Earl  replied.  "  Muriel,  my  child,  were  you 
not  making  one,  to  amuse  those  children  you 
had  to  tea  ?  " 

"  Yes,  I  know  that  Puzzle,"  said  Lady 
Muriel.  "  The  Ring  has  only  one  surface,  and 
only  one  edge.  It's  very  mysterious  !  " 

"  The  bag  is  just  like  that,  isn't  it  ?  "  I  sug- 
gested. "Is  not  the  outer  surface  of  one  side 
of  it  continuous  with  the  inner  surface  of  the 
other  side  ?  " 

"So  it  is!"  she  exclaimed.  "  Only  it  isrit 
a  bag,  just  yet.  How  shall  we  fill  up  this 
opening,  Mein  Herr?" 

"  Thus ! "  said  the  old  man  impressively, 
taking  the  bag  from  her,  and  rising  to  his  feet 
in  the  excitement  of  the  explanation.  "  The 
edge  of  the  opening  consists  of  four  hand- 
kerchief-edges, and  you  can  trace  it  continu- 
ously, round  and  round  the  opening  :  down  the 
right  edge  of  one  handkerchief,  up  the  left  edge 
of  the  other,  and  then  down  the  left  edge  of 
the  one,  and  up  the  right  edge  of  the  other!" 

"  So  you  can ! "  Lady  Muriel  murmured 
thoughtfully,  leaning  her  head  on  her  hand, 


VI  l] 


MEIN    HERR. 


103 


and  earnestly  watching  the  old  man.     "  And 
that  proves  it  to  be  only  one  opening ! " 


She  looked  so  strangely  like  a  child,  puzzling 
over  a  difficult  lesson,  and  Mein  Herr  had 
become,  for  the  moment,  so  strangely  like  the 
old  Professor,  that  I  felt  utterly  bewildered : 
the  '  eerie  '  feeling  was  on  me  in  its  full  force, 
and  I  felt  almost  impelled  to  say  "  Do  you 
understand  it,  Sylvie  ?  '  However  I  checked 
myself  by  a  great  effort,  and  let  the  dream 
(if  indeed  it  was  a  dream)  go  on  to  its  end. 


104         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Now,  this  third  handkerchief,"  Mem  Herr 
proceeded,  "  has  also  four  edges,  which  you 
can  trace  continuously  round  and  round :  all 
you  need  do  is  to  join  its  four  edges  to  the 
four  edges  of  the  opening.  The  Purse  is  then 
complete,  and  its  outer  surface— 

"/  see!"  Lady  Muriel  eagerly  interrupted. 
"  Its  outer  surface  will  be  continuous  with  its 
inner  surface  !  But  it  will  take  time.  I'll  sew 
it  up  after  tea."  She  laid  aside  the  bag,  and 
resumed  her  cup  of  tea.  "  But  why  do  you 
call  it  Fortunatus's  Purse,  Mein  Herr?" 

The  dear  old  man  beamed  upon  her,  with  a 
jolly  smile,  looking  more  exactly  like  the  Pro- 
fessor than  ever.  "  Don't  you  see,  my  child 

—I  should  say  M  iladi  ?  Whatever  is  inside 
that  Purse,  is  outside  it  ;  and  whatever  is  O2tt- 
side  it,  is  inside  it.  So  you  have  all  the 
wealth  of  the  world  in  that  leetle  Purse  ! " 

His  pupil  clapped  her  hands,  in  unrestrained 
delight.  "  I'll  certainly  sew  the  third  hand- 
kerchief in some  time,"  she  said:  "but  I 

wo'n't  take  up  your  time  by  trying  it  now. 
Tell  us  some  more  wonderful  things,  please  !  " 
And  her  face  and  her  voice  so  exactly  recalled 


vn]  MEIN    HERR.  105 

Sylvie,  that  I  could  not  help  glancing  round, 
half-expecting  to  see  Bruno  also  ! 

Mein  Herr  began  thoughtfully  balancing  his 
spoon  on  the  edge  of  his  teacup,  while  he 
pondered  over  this  request.  "  Something 

wonderful like  Fortunatus's  Purse  ?  That 

will  give  you when  it  is  made wealth 

beyond  your  wildest  dreams  :  but  it  will  not 
give  you  Time  !  " 

A  pause  of  silence  ensued utilised  by 

Lady  Muriel  for  the  very  practical  purpose 
of  refilling  the  teacups. 

"  In  your  country,"  Mein  Herr  began  with  a 
startling  abruptness,  "what  becomes  of  all  the 
wasted  Time  ? " 

Lady  Muriel  looked  grave.  "  Who  can 
tell  ?"  she  half-whispered  to  herself.  "All  one 
knows  is  that  it  is  gone past  recall ! " 

"Well,  in  my 1  mean  in  a  country  /have 

visited,"  said  the  old  man,  "  they  store  it  up  : 
and  it  comes  in  very  useful,  years  afterwards  j 
For  example,  suppose  you  have  a  long  tedious 
evening  before  you  :  nobody  to  talk  to  :  nothing 
you  care  to  do  :  and  yet  hours  too  soon  to  go 
to  bed.  How  do  you  behave  then  ?" 


io6         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  I  get  very  cross,"  she  frankly  admitted  : 
"and  I  want  to  throw  things  about  the  room  !  " 

"  When  that  happens  to to  the  people    I 

have  visited,  they  never  act  so.     By  a  short  and 
simple  process which  I  cannot  explain  to  you 

—they  store  up  the  useless  hours :  and,  on 
some  other  occasion,  when  they  happen  to  need 
extra  time,  they  get  them  out  again." 

The  Earl  was  listening  with  a  slightly  in- 
credulous smile.  "  Why  cannot  you  explain  the 
process  ?  "  he  enquired. 

Mein  Herr  was  ready  with  a  quite  unanswer- 
able reason.  "  Because  you  have  no  ivords,  in 
your  language,  to  convey  the  ideas  which  are 

needed.      I  could  explain  it  in in but  you 

would  not  understand  it !  " 

"No  indeed!"  said  Lady  Muriel,  graciously 
dispensing  with  the  name  of  the  unknown 

language.      "  I    never   learnt  it at  least,   not 

to  speak  it  fluently,  you  know.      Please  tell  us 
some  more  wonderful  things  ! ' 

"  They  run  their  railway-trains   without  any 

engines nothing  is  needed  but  machinery  to 

stop  them   with.       Is    that  wonderful   enough, 
Miladi?" 


vn]  MEIN    HERR.  107 

"But  where  does  the  force  come  from  ? "  I 
ventured  to  ask. 

Mein  Herr  turned  quickly  round,  to  look  at 
the  new  speaker.  Then  he  took  off  his  spec- 
tacles, and  polished  them,  and  looked  at  me 
again,  in  evident  bewilderment.  I  could  see 

he  was  thinking as  indeed  /  was  also that 

we  must  have  met  before. 

"  They  use  the  force  of  gravity"  he  said. 
"It  is  a  force  known  also  in  your  country,  I 
believe  ? " 

"  But  that  would  need  a  railway  going  down- 
Jiill"  the  Earl  remarked.  "  You  ca'n't  have  all 
your  railways  going  down-hill  ?  " 

"  They  all  do,"  said  Mein  Herr. 

"Not  from  both  ends?" 

"  From  both  ends." 

"  Then  I  give  it  up ! "  said  the  Earl. 

"  Can  you  explain  the  process?"  said  Lady 
Muriel.  "Without  using  that  language,  that  I 
ca'n't  speak  fluently  ?  " 

"  Easily,"  said  Mein  Herr.  "  Each  railway 
is  in  a  long  tunnel,  perfectly  straight :  so  of 
course  the  middle  of  it  is  nearer  the  centre  of 
the  globe  than  the  two  ends :  so  every  train 


io8         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

runs  half-way  down-\\\\\,  and  that  gives  it  force 
enough  to  run  the  other  half  up-\i\\\" 

"  Thank  you.  I  understand  that  perfectly," 
said  Lady  Muriel.  "  But  the  velocity,  in  the 
middle  of  the  tunnel,  must  be  something 
fearful  /" 

'  Mein  Herr'  was  evidently  much  gratified 
at  the  intelligent  interest  Lady  Muriel  took  in 
his  remarks.  At  every  moment  the  old  man 
seemed  to  grow  more  chatty  and  more  fluent. 
"  You  would  like  to  know  our  methods  of 
driving?"  he  smilingly  enquired.  "To  us,  a 
run-away  horse  is  of  no  import  at  all !  " 

Lady  Muriel  slightly  shuddered.  "  To  us 
it  is  a  very  real  danger,"  she  said. 

"  That  is  because  your  carriage  is  wholly 
behind  your  horse.  Your  horse  runs.  Your 
carriage  follows.  Perhaps  your  horse  has  the 
bit  in  his  teeth.  Who  shall  stop  him  ?  You 
fly,  ever  faster  and  faster !  Finally  comes  the 
inevitable  upset !  " 

"  But  suppose  your  horse  manages  to  get  the 
bit  in  his  teeth  ?  " 

"  No  matter !  We  would  not  concern  our- 
selves. Our  horse  is  harnessed  in  the  very 


Vll]  MEIN    HERR.  109 

centre  of  our  carriage.  Two  wheels  are  in 
front  of  him,  and  two  behind.  To  the  roof  is 
attached  one  end  of  a  broad  belt.  This  goes 
under  the  horse's  body,  and  the  other  end  is 
attached  to  a  leetle what  you  call  a  '  wind- 
lass,' I  think.  The  horse  takes  the  bit  in  his 
teeth,  He  runs  away.  We  are  flying  at  ten 
miles  an  hour  !  We  turn  our  little  windlass, 

five  turns,  six  turns,  seven  turns,  and poof! 

Our  horse  is  off  the  ground !  Now  let  him 
gallop  in  the  air,  as  much  as  he  pleases  :  our 
carriage  stands  still.  We  sit  round  him,  and 
watch  him  till  he  is  tired.  Then  we  let  him 
down.  Our  horse  is  glad,  very  much  glad, 
when  his  feet  once  more  touch  the  ground ! " 

"  Capital !  "  said  the  Earl,  who  had  been 
listening  attentively.  "Are  there  any  other 
peculiarities  in  your  carriages  ?  " 

"  In  the  wheels,  sometimes,  my  Lord.  For 
your  health,  you  go  to  sea  :  to  be  pitched,  to 
be  rolled,  occasionally  to  be  drowned.  We  do 
all  that  on  land  :  we  are  pitched,  as  you ;  we 
are  rolled,  as  you  ;  but  drowned,  no  !  There 
is  no  water !  " 

"  What  are  the  wheels  like,  then  ?  " 


no         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  They  are  oval,  my  Lord.  Therefore  the 
carriages  rise  and  fall." 

"  Yes,  and  pitch  the  carriage  backwards  and 
forwards  :  but  how  do  they  make  it  roll  ?  " 

"  They  do  not  match,  my  Lord.  The  end  of 
one  wheel  answers  to  the  side  of  the  opposite 
wheel.  So  first  one  side  of  the  carriage  rises, 
then  the  other.  And  it  pitches  all  the  while. 
Ah,  you  must  be  a  good  sailor,  to  drive  in  our 
boat-carriages  ! " 

"  I  can  easily  believe  it,"  said  the  Earl. 

Mein  Herr  rose  to  his  feet.  "  I  must  leave 
you  now,  Miladi,"  he  said,  consulting  his  watch. 
"  I  have  another  engagement." 

"  I  only  wish  we  had  stored  up  some  extra 
time ! "  Lady  Muriel  said,  as  she  shook  hands 
with  him.  "  Then  we  could  have  kept  you  a 
little  longer ! " 

"In  that  case  I  would  gladly  stay,"  replied 

Mein  Herr.  "As  it  is 1  fear  I  must  say 

good-bye ! " 

"  Where  did  you  first  meet  him  ?  "  I  asked 
Lady  Muriel,  when  Mein  Herr  had  left  us. 
"  And  where  does  he  live  ?  And  what  is  his 
real  name  ?  " 


vn]  MEIN    HERR.  ill 

"  We  first met him—  '  she  musingly 

replied,  "really,  I  ca'n't  remember  where! 
And  I've  no  idea  where  he  lives !  And  I 
never  heard  any  other  name!  It's  very 
curious.  It  never  occurred  to  me  before  to 
consider  what  a  mystery  he  is  !  " 

"  I  hope  we  shall  meet  again,"  I  said  :  "he 
interests  me  very  much." 

"  He  will  be  at  our  farewell-party,  this  day 
fortnight,"  said  the  Earl.  "  Of  course  you  will 
come  ?  Muriel  is  anxious  to  gather  all  our 
friends  around  us  once  more,  before  we  leave 
the  place." 

And  then  he  explained  to  me as  Lady 

Muriel  had  left  us  together that  he  was  so 

anxious  to  get  his  daughter  away  from  a  place 
full  of  so  many  painful  memories  connected 
with  the  now-canceled  engagement  with  Major 
Lindon,  that  they  had  arranged  to  have  the 
wedding  in  a  month's  time,  after  which  Arthur 
and  his  wife  were  to  go  on  a  foreign  tour. 

"  Don't  forget  Tuesday  week ! "  he  said  as 
we  shook  hands  at  parting.  "  I  only  wish  you 
could  bring  with  you  those  charming  children, 
that  you  introduced  to  us  in  the  summer. 


112         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Talk  of  the  mystery  of  Mein  Herr  !  That's 
nothing  to  the  mystery  that  seems  to  attend 
them !  I  shall  never  forget  those  marvellous 
flowers  !  " 

"  I  will  bring  them  if  I  possibly  can,"  I  said. 
But  how  to  fulfil  such  a  promise,  I  mused  to 
myself  on  my  way  back  to  our  lodgings,  was 
a  problem  entirely  beyond  my  skill  ! 


CHAPTER   VIII. 

IN    A    SHADY    PLACE. 

THE  ten  days  glided  swiftly  away  :  and,  the 
day  before  the  great  party  was  to  take  place, 
Arthur  proposed  that  we  should  stroll  down 
to  the  Hall,  in  time  for  afternoon-tea. 

"  Hadn't  you  better  go  alone  ?"  I  suggested. 
"  Surely  /  shall  be  very  much  de  trop  ?  " 

"  Well,  it'll  be  a  kind  of  experiment"  he 
said.  "Fiat  experimentum  in  corpore  vili!" 
he  added,  with  a  graceful  bow  of  mock  polite- 
ness towards  the  unfortunate  victim.  "  You 
see  I  shall  have  to  bear  the  sight,  to-morrow 
night,  of  my  lady-love  making  herself  agreable 

I 


IH  SYLVIE  AND  BRUNO  CONCLUDED. 

to  everybody  except  the  right  person,  and  I 
shall  bear  the  agony  all  the  better  if  we  have 
a  dress-rehearsal  beforehand  !  " 

"  My  part  in  the  play  being,  apparently,  that 
of  the  sample  wrong  person  ?  " 

"  Well,  no>"  Arthur  said  musingly,  as  we  set 
forth  :  "  there's  no  such  part  in  a  regular 
company.  '  Heavy  Father '?  That  won't  do  : 
that's  filled  already.  '  Singing  Chambermaid  '  ? 
Well,  the  '  First  Lady '  doubles  that  part. 
'  Comic  Old  Man  '  ?  You're  not  comic  enough. 
After  all,  I'm  afraid  there's  no  part  for  you 
but  the  '  Well-dressed  Villain  :  only,"  with  a 
critical  side-glance,  "I'm  a  leetle  uncertain 
about  the  dress  !  " 

We  found  Lady  Muriel  alone,  the  Earl 
having  gone  out  to  make  a  call,  and  at  once 
resumed  old  terms  of  intimacy,  in  the  shady 
arbour  where  the  tea-things  seemed  to  be 
always  waiting.  The  only  novelty  in  the 
arrangements  (one  which  Lady  Muriel  seemed 
to  regard  as  entirely  a  matter  of  course),  was 
that  two  of  the  chairs  were  placed  quite  close 
together,  side  by  side.  Strange  to  say,  /  was 
not  invited  to  occupy  either  of  them ! 


vill]  IN  A  SHADY  PLACE.  115 

"We  have  been  arranging,  as  we  came 
along,  about  letter-writing,"  Arthur  began. 
"  He  will  want  to  know  how  we're  enjoying 
our  Swiss  tour  :  and  of  course  we  must  pretend 
we  are  ?  " 

"  Of  course,"  she  meekly  assented. 

"  And  the  skeleton-in-the-cupboard "  I 

suggested. 

" is  always  a  difficulty,"  she  quickly  put 

in,  "  when  you're  traveling  about,  and  when 
there  are  no  cupboards  in  the  hotels.  How- 
ever, ours  is  a  very  portable  one  ;  and  will  be 
neatly  packed,  in  a  nice  leather  case— 

"But  please  don't  think  about  writing"  I 
said,  "  when  you've  anything  more  attractive 
on  hand.  I  delight  in  reading  letters,  but  I 
know  well  how  tiring  it  is  to  write  them.' 

"It  is,  sometimes,"  Arthur  assented.  "  For 
instance,  when  you're  very  shy  of  the  person 
you  have  to  write  to.' 

"  Does  that  show  itself  in  the  letter  ?  "  Lady 
Muriel  enquired.  "  Of  course,  when  I  hear 
any  one  talking — -yoii,  for  instance— I  can 
see  how  desperately  shy  he  is  !  But  can  you 
see  that  in  a  letter  ?  " 

I  2 


ii6          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Well,  of   course,  when   you  hear  any  one 

talk  fluently -you,  for  instance you  can  see 

how    desperately    zm-shy   she    is not   to  say 

saucy  !  But  the  shyest  and  most  intermittent 
talker  must  seem  fluent  in  letter-writing.  He 
may  have  taken  half-an-hour  to  compose  his 
second  sentence  ;  but  there  it  is,  close  after 
the  first !  " 

"  Then  letters   don't    express    all   that    they 
might  express  ?" 

"  That's  merely  because  our  system  of  letter- 
writing  is  incomplete.  A  shy  writer  ought  to 
be  able  to  show  that  he  is  so.  Why  shouldn't 
he  make  pauses  in  writing,  just  as  he  would 
do  in  speaking  ?  He  might  leave  blank  spaces 
—say  half  a  page  at  a  time.  And  a  very  shy 

girl if  there  is  such  a  thing might  write 

a  sentence  on  \hefirst  sheet  of  her  letter- 
then   put  in   a  couple  of  blank  sheets then 

a  sentence  on  the  fourth  sheet  :  and  so  on  " 

"  I  quite  foresee  that  we 1  mean  this  clever 

little  boy  and  myself—  "  Lady  Muriel  said  to 
me,  evidently  with  the  kind  wish  to  bring  me 

into  the  conversation,  " are  going  to  become 

famous of    course    all    our    inventions    are 


vni]  IN  A  SHADY  PLACE.  117 

common  property  now for  a  new  Code  of 

Rules  for  Letter-writing !  Please  invent  some 
more,  little  boy  !  " 

"  Well,  another  thing  greatly  needed,  little 
girl,  is  some  way  of  expressing  that  we  dorit 
mean  anything." 

"  Explain  yourself,  little  boy  !  Surely  you 
can  find  no  difficulty  in  expressing  a  total 
absence  of  meaning  ?  " 

"  I  mean  that  you  should  be  able,  when  you 
dorit  mean  a  thing  to  be  taken  seriously,  to 
express  that  wish.  For  human  nature  is  so 
constituted  that  whatever  you  write  seriously 
is  taken  as  a  joke,  and  whatever  you  mean 
as  a  joke  is  taken  seriously !  At  any  rate,  it 
is  so  in  writing  to  a  lady  !  " 

"Ah!  you're  not  used  to  writing  to  ladies!" 
Lady  Muriel  remarked,  leaning  back  in  her 
chair,  and  gazing  thoughtfully  into  the  sky. 
"You  should  try." 

"Very  good,"  said  Arthur.  "  How  many 
ladies  may  I  begin  writing  to  ?  As  many  as  I 
can  count  on  the  fingers  of  both  hands  ? " 

"As  many  as  you  can  count  on  the  thumbs 
of  one  hand ! "  his  lady-love  replied  with  much 


ii8         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

severity.  "  What  a  very  naughty  little  boy  he 
is !  Isn't  he  ? "  (with  an  appealing  glance  at 
me). 

"  He's  a  little  fractious,"  I  said.  "  Perhaps 
he's  cutting  a  tooth."  While  to  myself  I  said 
"  How  exactly  like  Sylvie  talking  to  Bruno !  " 

"  He  wants  his  tea."  (The  naughty  little  boy 
volunteered  the  information.)  "  He's  getting 
very  tired,  at  the  mere  prospect  of  the  great 
party  to-morrow !  " 

"  Then  he  shall  have  a  good  rest  before- 
hand !  "  she  soothingly  replied.  "  The  tea  isn't 
made  yet.  Come,  little  boy,  lean  well  back  in 

your  chair,  and  think  about  nothing or  about 

me,  whichever  you  prefer  !  " 

"  All  the  same,  all  the  same  !  "  Arthur  sleepi- 
ly murmured,  watching  her  with  loving  eyes, 
as  she  moved  her  chair  away  to  the  tea-table, 
and  began  to  make  the  tea.  "  Then  he'll  wait 
for  his  tea.  like  a  good,  patient  little  boy ! " 

"Shall  I  bring  you  the  London  Papers?" 
said  Lady  Muriel.  "  I  saw  them  lying  on  the 
table  as  I  came  out,  but  my  father  said  there 
was  nothing  in  them,  except  that  horrid  murder- 
trial."  (Society  was  just  then  enjoying  its  daily 


VIIl] 


IN    A    SHADY    PLACE. 


119 


thrill  of  excitement  in  studying  the  details  of  a 
specially  sensational  murder  in  a  thieves'  den  in 
the  East  of  London.) 

"  I    have    no   appetite   for    horrors,"    Arthur 
replied.      "  But    I    hope  we   have  learned    the 

lesson   they  should  teach  us though  we  are 

very  apt  to  read  it  backwards  !  " 


"  You  speak  in  riddles,"  said  Lady  Muriel. 
"  Please  explain  yourself.  See  now,"  suiting 
the  action  to  the  word,  "  I  am  sitting  at  your 
feet,  just  as  if  you  were  a  second  Gamaliel  ! 


120         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Thanks,  no."  (This  was  to  me,  who  had  risen 
to  bring  her  chair  back  to  its  former  place.) 
"  Pray  don't  disturb  yourself.  This  tree  and 
the  grass  make  a  very  nice  easy-chair.  What  is 
the  lesson  that  one  always  reads  wrong  ?  " 

Arthur  was  silent  for  a  minute.  "  I  would 
like  to  be  clear  what  it  is  I  mean,"  he  said, 
slowly  and  thoughtfully,  "  before  I  say  anything 
\&  you because  you  think  about  it." 

Anything  approaching  to  a  compliment  was 
so  unusual  an  utterance  for  Arthur,  that  it 
brought  a  flush  of  pleasure  to  her  cheek,  as  she 
replied  •"  It  is  you,  that  give  me  the  ideas  to 
think  about." 

"  One's  first  thought,"  Arthur  proceeded,  <:  in 
reading  of  anything  specially  vile  or  barbarous, 
as  done  by  a  fellow-creature,  is  apt  to  be  that 
we  see  a  new  depth  of  Sin  revealed  beneath  us : 
and  we  seem  to  gaze  down  into  that  abyss  from 
some  higher  ground,  far  apart  from  it." 

"  I  think  I  understand  you  now.  You  mean 

that  one.  ought  to  think not  '  God,  I  thank 

Thee  that  I  am  not  as  other  men  are  '-  —but 
'  God,  be  merciful  to  me  also,  who  might  be, 
but  for  Thy  grace,  a  sinner  as  vile  as  he ! ' 


vin]  IN    A    SHADY    PLACE.  121 

"  No,"  said  Arthur.  "  I  meant  a  great  deal 
more  than  that." 

She  looked  up  quickly,  but  checked  herself, 
and  waited  in  silence. 

"  One  must  begin  further  back,  I  think. 
Think  of  some  other  man,  the  same  age  as  this 
poor  wretch.  Look  back  to  the  time  when 

they  both  began  life before  they  had  sense 

enough  to  know  Right  from  Wrong.  Then,  at 
any  rate,  they  were  equal  in  God's  sight  ?  " 

She  nodded  assent. 

"  We  have,  then,  two  distinct  epochs  at  which 
we  may  contemplate  the  two  men  whose  lives 
we  are  comparing.  At  the  first  epoch  they  are, 
so  far  as  moral  responsibility  is  concerned,  on 
precisely  the  same  footing :  they  are  alike 
incapable  of  doing  right  or  wrong.  At  the 

second  epoch  the  one  man 1  am  taking  an 

extreme  case,  for  contrast has  won  the  esteem 

and  love  of  all  around  him  :  his  character  is 
stainless,  and  his  name  will  be  held  in  honour 
hereafter :  the  other  man's  history  is  one 
unvaried  record  of  crime,  and  his  life  is  at  last 
forfeited  to  the  outraged  laws  of  his  country. 
Now  what  have  been  the  causes,  in  each  case, 


122          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

of  each  man's  condition  being  what  it  is  at  the 

second  epoch  ?     They  are  of  two  kinds one 

acting  from  within,  the  other  from  without. 
These  two  kinds  need  to  be  discussed  separ- 
ately  that  is,  if  I  have  not  already  tired  you 

with  my  prosing  ?  " 

"  On  the  contrary,"  said  Lady  Muriel,  "  it  is 
a  special  delight  to  me  to  have  a  question 

discussed  in  this  way analysed  and  arranged, 

so  that  one  can  understand  it.  Some  books, 
that  profess  to  argue  out  a  question,  are  to  me 
intolerably  wearisome,  simply  because  the  ideas 

are  all  arranged  hap-hazard a  sort  of  '  first 

come,  first  served.' ' 

"  You  are  very  encouraging,"  Arthur  replied, 
with  a  pleased  look.  "  The  causes,  acting  from 
within,  which  make  a  man's  character  what  it  is 
at  any  given  moment,  are  his  successive  acts  of 

volition that  is,  his  acts  of  choosing  whether 

he  will  do  this  or  that." 

"  We  are  to  assume  the  existence  of  Free- 
Will  ?  "  I  said,  in  order  to  have  that  point  made 
quite  clear. 

"If  not,"  was  the  quiet  reply,  "  cadit 
quaestio  :  and  I  have  no  more  to  say." 


vin]  IN    A    SHADY    PLACE.  123 

"We  will  assume  it!"  the  rest  of  the 

audience the  majority,  I  may  say,  looking  at 

it  from  Arthur's  point  of  view imperiously 

proclaimed.  The  orator  proceeded. 

"  The  causes,  acting  from  without,  are  his 

surroundings what  Mr.  Herbert  Spencer 

calls  his  '  environment.'  Now  the  point  I  want 
to  make  clear  is  this,  that  a  man  is  responsible 
for  his  acts  of  choosing,  but  not  responsible 
for  his  environment.  Hence,  if  these  two  men 
make,  on  some  given  occasion,  when  they  are 
exposed  to  equal  temptation,  equal  efforts  to 
resist  and  to  choose  the  right,  their  condition, 
in  the  sight  of  God,  must  be  the  same.  If  He 
is  pleased  in  the  one  case,  so  will  He  be  in  the 
other ;  if  displeased  in  the  one  case,  so  also  in 
the  other." 

"  That  is  so,  no  doubt :  I  see  it  quite  clearly," 
Lady  Muriel  put  in. 

"  And  yet,  owing  to  their  different  environ- 
ments, the  one  may  win  a  great  victory  over  the 
temptation,  while  the  other  falls  into  some  black 
abyss  of  crime." 

"  But  surely  you  would  not  say  those  men 
were  equally  guilty  in  the  sight  of  God  ?" 


124         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Either  that,'1  said  Arthur,  "  or  else  I  must 
give  up  my  belief  in  God's  perfect  justice. 
But  let  me  put  one  more  case,  which  will  show 
my  meaning  even  more  forcibly.  Let  the  one 

man  be  in  a  high  social  position the  other, 

say,  a  common  thief.  Let  the  one  be  tempted 
to  some  trivial  act  of  unfair  dealing some- 
thing which  he  can  do  with  the  absolute 

<_> 

certainty   that   it  will    never   be  discovered 

something   which    he    can    with    perfect    ease 

forbear  from  doing and  which  he  distinctly 

knows  to  be  a  sin.     Let  the  other  be  tempted 

to  some  terrible  crime as  men  would  consider 

it but  under  an  almost  overwhelming  pressure 

of  motives of  course  not  quite  overwhelming, 

as  that  would  destroy  all  responsibility.  Now, 
in  this  case,  let  the  second  man  make  a  greater 
effort  at  resistance  than  the  first.  Also  suppose 

both  to  fall  under  the  temptation 1  say  that 

the  second  man  is,  in  God's  sight,  less  guilty 
than  the  other." 

Lady  Muriel  drew  a  long  breath.     "It  upsets 

all  one's  ideas  of  Right  and  Wrong just  at 

first  !  Why,  in  that  dreadful  murder-trial,  you 
would  say,  I  suppose,  that  it  was  possible  that 


vin]  IN    A    SHADY    PLACE.  125 

the  least  guilty  man  in  the  Court  was  the 
murderer,  and  that  possibly  the  judge  who 
tried  him,  by  yielding  to  the  temptation  of 
making  one  unfair  remark,  had  committed  a 
crime  outweighing  the  criminal's  whole  career!" 
'"Certainly  I  should,"  Arthur  firmly  replied. 
"  It  sounds  like  a  paradox,  I  admit.  But  just 
think  what  a  grievous  sin  it  must  be,  in  God's 
sight,  to  yield  to  some  very  slight  temptation, 
which  we  could  have  resisted  with  perfect  ease, 
and  to  do  it  deliberately,  and  in  the  full  light 
of  God's  Law.  What  penance  can  atone  for 
a  sin  like  that  ? " 

"  I  ca'n't  reject  your  theory,"  I  said.  "  But 
how  it  seems  to  widen  the  possible  area  of  Sin 
in  the  world  !  " 

"Is  that  so  ? "  Lady  Muriel  anxiously 
enquired. 

"  Oh,  not  so,  not  so  !"  was  the  eager  reply. 
"  To  me  it  seems  to  clear  away  much  of  the 
cloud  that  hangs  over  the  world's  history. 
When  this  view  first  made  itself  clear  to  me, 
I  remember  walking  out  into  the  fields,  re- 
peating to  myself  that  line  of  Tennyson  '  There 
seemed  no  room  for  sense  of  wrong  ! '  The 


126         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

thought,  that  perhaps  the  real  guilt  of  the 
human  race  was  infinitely  less  than  I  fancied 

it that  the  millions,  whom  I  had  thought  of 

as  sunk  in  hopeless  depths  of  sin,  were  per- 
haps, in  God's  sight,  scarcely  sinning  at  all 

was  more  sweet  than  words  can  tell !  Life 
seemed  more  bright  and  beautiful,  when  once 
that  thought  had  come !  *  A  livelier  emerald 
twinkles  in  the  grass,  A  purer  sapphire  melts 
into  the  sea!'  His  voice  trembled  as  he 
concluded,  and  the  tears  stood  in  his  eyes. 

Lady  Muriel  shaded  her  face  with  her  hand, 
and  was  silent  for  a  minute.  "  It  is  a  beautiful 
thought,"  she  said,  looking  up  at  last.  "  Thank 
you Arthur,  for  putting  it  into  my  head ! " 

The  Earl  returned  in  time  to  join  us  at  tea, 
and  to  give  us  the  very  unwelcome  tidings  that 
a  fever  had  broken  out  in  the  little  harbour- 
town  that  lay  below  us a  fever  of  so  malig- 
nant a  type  that,  though  it  had  only  appeared  a 
day  or  two  ago,  there  were  already  more  than 
a  dozen  down  in  it,  two  or  three  of  whom  were 
reported  to  be  in  imminent  danger. 

In  answer  to  the  eager  questions  of  Arthur 
— who  of  course  took  a  deep  scientific  interest 


vin]  IN    A    SHADY    PLACE.  127 

in  the  matter he  could  give  very  few  technical 

details,  though  he  had  met  the  local  doctor.  It 
appeared,  however,  that  it  was  an  almost  new 

disease at    least    in   this  century,   though   it 

might  prove  to  be  identical  with  the  '  Plague  ' 

recorded    in     History very    infectious,    and 

frightfully  rapid  in  its  action.  "It  will  not, 
however,  prevent  our  party  to-morrow,"  he 
said  in  conclusion.  "  None  of  the  guests  be- 
long to  the  infected  district,  which  is,  as  you 
know,  exclusively  peopled  by  fishermen  :  so 
you  may  come  without  any  fear." 

Arthur  was  very  silent,  all  the  way  back, 
and,  on  reaching  our  lodgings,  immediately 
plunged  into  medical  studies,  connected  with 
the  alarming  malady  of  whose  arrival  we  had 
just  heard. 


CHAPTER   IX. 

THE     FAREWELL-PARTY. 

ON  the  following  day,  Arthur  and  I  reached 
the  Hall  in  good  time,  as  only  a  few  of  the 

guests it  was  to  be  a  party  of  eighteen— 

had  as  yet  arrived  ;  and  these  were  talking  with 
the  Earl,  leaving  us  the  opportunity  of  a  few 
words  apart  with  our  hostess. 

"Who  is  that  very  learned-looking  man  with 
the  large  spectacles  ? "  Arthur  enquired.  "  I 
haven't  met  him  here  before,  have  I  ?  " 

"  No,  he's  a  new  friend  of  ours,"  said  Lady 
Muriel:  "a  German,  I  believe.  He  is  such  a 
dear  old  thing !  And  quite  the  most  learned 


IX]  THE    FAREWELL-PARTY.  129 

man  I  ever  met with  one  exception,  of 

course !  "  she  added  humbly,  as  Arthur  drew 
himself  up  with  an  air  of  offended  dignity. 

-'  And  the  young  lady  in  blue,  just  beyond 
him,  talking  to  that  foreign-looking  man.  Is 
she  learned,  too  ?  " 

"  I  don't  know,"  said  Lady  Muriel.  "  But 
I'm  told  she's  a  wonderful  piano-forte-player.  I 
hope  you'll  hear  her  to-night.  I  asked  that 
foreigner  to  take  her  in,  because  hes  very 
musical,  too.  He's  a  French  Count,  I  believe ; 
and  he  sings  splendidly  !  " 

"  Science music singing you  have  in- 
deed got  a  complete  party  !  "  said  Arthur.  "  I 
feel  quite  a  privileged  person,  meeting  all  these 
stars.  I  do  love  music  !  " 

"  But  the  party  isn't  quite  complete ! "  said 
Lady  Muriel.  "  You  haven't  brought  us  those 
two  beautiful  children,"  she  went  on,  turning 
to  me.  "  He  brought  them  here  to  tea,  you 
know,  one  day  last  summer,"  again  addressing 
Arthur  ;  "  and  they  are  such  darlings  !  " 

"  They  are,  indeed"  I  assented. 

"  But  why  haven't  you  brought  them  with 
you  ?  You  promised  my  father  you  would" 

K 


130          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  I'm  very  sorry,"  I  said  ;  "  but  really  it  was 
impossible  to  bring  them  with  me."  Here  I 
most  certainly  meant  to  conclude  the  sentence: 
and  it  was  with  a  feeling  of  utter  amazement, 
which  I  cannot  adequately  describe,  that  I 

heard  myself  going  on  speaking.  " but  they 

are  to  join  me  here  in  the  course  of  the  even- 
ing "  were  the  words,  uttered  in  my  voice,  and 
seeming  to  come  from  my  lips. 

"  I'm  so  glad  !  "  Lady  Muriel  joyfully  replied. 
"  I  shall  enjoy  introducing  them  to  some  of  my 
friends  here !  When  do  you  expect  them  ?  " 

I  took  refuge  in  silence.  The  only  honest 
reply  would  have  been  "  That  was  not  my 
remark.  /  didn't  say  it,  and  it  isnt  true!" 
But  I  had  not  the  moral  courage  to  make  such 
a  confession.  The  character  of  a  '  lunatic '  is 
not,  I  believe,  very  difficult  to  acquire  :  but  it 
is  amazingly  difficult  to  get  rid  of:  and  it 
seemed  quite  certain  that  any  such  speech  as 
that  would  quite  justify  the  issue  of  a  writ  (  de 
lunatico  inquirendo? 

Lady  Muriel  evidently  thought  I  had  failed 
to  hear  her  question,  and  turned  to  Arthur 
with  a  remark  on  some  other  subject ;  and  I 


ix]  THE    FAREWELL-PARTY.  131 

had  time  to  recover  from  my  shock  of  surprise 

or  to  awake  out  of  my  momentary  '  eerie ' 

condition,  whichever  it  was. 

When  things  around  me  seemed  once  more 
to  be  real,  Arthur  was  saying  "  Tm  afraid 
there's  no  help  for  it :  they  must  be  finite  in 
number." 

"  I  should  be  sorry  to  have  to  believe  it," 
said  Lady  Muriel.  "Yet,  when  one  comes  to 
think  of  it,  there  are  no  new  melodies,  now-a- 
days.  What  people  talk  of  as  '  the  last  new 
song'  always  recalls  to  me  some  tune  I've 
known  as  a  child  !  " 

"  The  day  must  come if  the  world  lasts 

long  enough—  '  said  Arthur,  "when  every 

possible  tune  will  have  been  composed every 

possible  pun  perpetrated "  (Lady  Muriel 

wrung  her  hands,  like  a  tragedy- queen)  "and, 
worse  than  that,  every  possible  book  written ! 
For  the  number  of  words  is  finite." 

"  It'll  make  very  little  difference  to  the 
authors"  I  suggested.  "  Instead  of  saying 
'  what  book  shall  I  write  ? '  an  author  will  ask 
himself  '  which  book  shall  I  write  ?  '  A  mere 
verbal  distinction  ! " 


T32          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Lady  Muriel  gave  me  an  approving  smile. 
"  But  lunatics  would  always  write  new  books, 
surely  ?  "  she  went  on.  "  They  couldnt  write 
the  sane  books  over  again  !  " 

"  True,"  said  Arthur.  "  But  their  books 
would  come  to  an  end,  also.  The  number  of 
lunatic  books  is  as  finite  as  the  number  of 
lunatics." 

"  And  that  number  is  becoming  greater 
every  year,"  said  a  pompous  man,  whom  I 
recognised  as  the  self-appointed  showman  on 
the  day  of  the  picnic. 

"  So  they  say,"  replied  Arthur.  "  And,  when 
ninety  per  cent,  of  us  are  lunatics,"  (he  seemed 
to  be  in  a  wildly  nonsensical  mood)  "  the 
asylums  will  be  put  to  their  proper  use." 

"  And  that  is ? "  the  pompous  man 

gravely  enquired. 

"  To  shelter  the  sane  /"  said  Arthur.  "  We 
shall  bar  ourselves  in.  The  lunatics  will  have 
it  all  their  own  way,  outside.  They  '11  do  it 
a  little  queerly,  no  doubt.  Railway-collisions 
will  be  always  happening :  steamers  always 
blowing  up  :  most  of  the  towns  will  be  burnt 
down  :  most  of  the  ships  sunk — 


IX]  THE    FAREWELL-PARTY.  133 

"And  most  of  the  men.  killed!"  murmured 
the  pompous  man,  who  was  evidently  hopelessly 
bewildered. 

"  Certainly,"  Arthur  assented.  "  Till  at  last 
there  will  be  fewer  lunatics  than  sane  men. 
Then  we  come  out  :  they  go  in  :  and  things 
return  to  their  normal  condition  ! " 

The  pompous  man  frowned  darkly,  and  bit 
his  lip,  and  folded  his  arms,  vainly  trying  to 
think  it  out.  "He  is  jesting!"  he  muttered 
to  himself  at  last,  in  a  tone  of  withering  con- 
tempt, as  he  stalked  away. 

By  this  time  the  other  guests  had  arrived ; 
and  dinner  was  announced.  Arthur  of  course 
took  down  Lady  Muriel :  and  /  was  pleased 
to  find  myself  seated  at  her  other  side,  with 
a  severe-looking  old  lady  (whom  I  had  not 
met  before,  and  whose  name  I  had,  as  is  usual 
in  introductions,  entirely  failed  to  catch,  merely 
gathering  that  it  sounded  like  a  compound- 
name)  as  my  partner  for  the  banquet. 

She  appeared,  however,  to  be  acquainted 
with  Arthur,  and  confided  to  me  in  a  low  voice 
her  opinion  that  he  was  "  a  very  argumentative 
young  man."  Arthur,  for  his  part,  seemed  well 


134          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

inclined  to  show  himself  worthy  of  the  character 
she  had  given  him,  and,  hearing  her  say  "  I 
never  take  wine  with  my  soup ! "  (this  was  not 
a  confidence  to  me,  but  was  launched  upon 
Society,  as  a  matter  of  general  interest),  he 
at  once  challenged  a  combat  by  asking  her 
"  ivhen  would  you  say  that  property  commence 
in  a  plate  of  soup  ? " 

"  This  is  my  soup,"  she  sternly  replied : 
"  and  what  is  before  you  is  yours." 

"  No  doubt,"  said  Arthur :  "  but  when  did  I 
begin  to  own  it  ?  Up  to  the  moment  of  its 
being  put  into  the  plate,  it  was  the  property 
of  our  host :  while  being  offered  round  the 
table,  it  was,  let  us  say,  held  in  trust  by  the 
waiter :  did  it  become  mine  when  I  accepted 
it  ?  Or  when  it  was  placed  before  me  ?  Or 
when  I  took  the  first  spoonful  ?  " 

"  He  is  a  very  argumentative  young  man  !  " 
was  all  the  old  lady  would  say  :  but  she  said 
it  audibly,  this  time,  feeling  that  Society  had  a 
right  to  know  it. 

Arthur  smiled  mischievously.  "  I  shouldn't 
mind  betting  you  a  shilling,"  he  said,  "  that  the 
Eminent  Barrister  next  you"  (It  certainly  is 


ix]  THE    FAREWELL-PARTY.  135 

possible  to  say  words  so  as  to  make  them 
begin  with  capitals  !)  "  ca'n't  answer  me  !  " 

"  I  never  bet,"  she  sternly  replied. 

"  Not  even  sixpenny  points  at  whist  ? " 

"  Never  !  "  she  repeated.  "  Whist  is  inno- 
cent enough  :  but  whist  played  for  money ! " 
She  shuddered. 

Arthur  became  serious  again.  "  I'm  afraid  I 
ca'n't  take  that  view,"  he  said.  "  I  consider 
that  the  introduction  of  small  stakes  for  card- 
playing  was  one  of  the  most  moral  acts  Society 
ever  did,  as  Society." 

"  How  was  it  so  ?  "  said  Lady  Muriel. 

"  Because  it  took  Cards,  once  for  all,  out  of 
the  category  of  games  at  which  cheating  is  pos- 
sible. Look  at  the  way  Croquet  is  demoralising 
Society.  Ladies  are  beginning  to  cheat  at  it, 
terribly  :  and,  if  they're  found  out,  they  only 
laugh,  and  call  it  fun.  But  when  there's  money 
at  stake,  that  is  out  of  the  question.  The 
swindler  is  not  accepted  as  a  wit.  When  a 
man  sits  down  to  cards,  and  cheats  his  friends 
out  of  their  money,  he  doesn't  get  much  fun 

out  of  it unless  he  thinks  it  fun  to  be  kicked 

down  stairs  !  " 


136          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  If  all  gentlemen  thought  as  badly  of  ladies 
as  you  do,"  my  neighbour  remarked  with  some 

bitterness,    "  there  would   be   very   few very 

few—  — ."  She  seemed  doubtful  how  to  end 
her  sentence,  but  at  last  took  "  honeymoons  " 
as  a  safe  word. 

"  On  the  contrary,"  said  Arthur,  the  mis- 
chievous smile  returning  to  his  face,  "  if  only 
people  would  adopt  my  theory,  the  number  of 

honeymoons quite  of  a    new    kind would 

be  greatly  increased  !  " 

"  May  we  hear  about  this  new  kind  of 
honeymoon  ? "  said  Lady  Muriel. 

"  Let  X  be  the  gentleman,"  Arthur  began,  in 
a  slightly  raised  voice,  as  he  now  found  himself 
with  an  audience  of  six,  including  '  Mein  Herr,' 
who  was  seated  at  the  other  side  of  my  poly- 
nomial partner.  "  Let  X  be  the  gentleman, 
and  Kthe  lady  to  whom  he  thinks  of  proposing. 
He  applies  for  an  Experimental  Honeymoon. 
It  is  granted.  Forthwith  the  young  couple- 
accompanied  by  the  great-aunt  of  K,  to  act  as 

chaperone start  for  a   month's   tour,   during 

which  they  have  many  a  moonlight-walk,  and 
many  a  tete-a-tete  conversation,  and  each  can 


ix]  THE    FAREWELL-PARTY.  137 

form  a  more  correct  estimate  of  the  other's 
character,  in  four  weeks,  than  would  have  been 
possible  in  as  many  years,  when  meeting  under 
the  ordinary  restrictions  of  Society.  And  it  is 
only  after  their  return  that  X  finally  decides 
whether  he  will,  or  will  not,  put  the  momentous 
question  to  F/" 

"In  nine  cases  out  of  ten,"  the  pompous  man 
proclaimed,  "  he  would  decide  to  break  it  off!  " 

"  Then,  in  nine  cases  out  of  ten,"  Arthur 
rejoined,  "  an  unsuitable  match  would  be  pre- 
vented, and  both  parties  saved  from  misery  !  " 

"The  only  really  unsuitable  matches,"  the 
old  lady  remarked,  "  are  those  made  without 
sufficient  Money.  Love  may  come  afterwards. 
Money  is  needed  to  begin  with  !  " 

This  remark  was  cast  loose  upon  Society,  as 
a  sort  of  general  challenge  ;  and,  as  such,  it  was 
at  once  accepted  by  several  of  those  within 
hearing :  Money  became  the  key-note  of  the 
conversation  for  some  time  ;  and  a  fitful  echo  of 
it  was  again  heard,  when  the  dessert  had  been 
placed  upon  the  table,  the  servants  had  left  the 
room,  and  the  Earl  had  started  the  \vine  in 
its  welcome  progress  round  the  table. 


138          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  I'm  very  glad  to  see  you  keep  up  the  old 
customs,"  I  said  to  Lady  Muriel  as  I  filled  her 
glass.  "  It's  really  delightful  to  experience, 
once  more,  the  peaceful  feeling  that  comes  over 
one  when  the  waiters  have  left  the  room- 
when  one  can  converse  without  the  feeling  of 
being  overheard,  and  without  having  dishes 
constantly  thrust  over  one's  shoulder.  How 
much  more  sociable  it  is  to  be  able  to  pour 
out  the  wine  for  the  ladies,  and  to  hand  the 
dishes  to  those  who  wish  for  them  ! " 

"In  that  case,  kindly  send  those  peaches 
down  here,"  said  a  fat  red-faced  man,  who  was 
seated  beyond  our  pompous  friend.  "  I've 

been  wishing  for  them diagonally for  some 

time  !  " 

"  Yes,  it  is  a  ghastly  innovation,"  Lady 
Muriel  replied,  "  letting  the  waiters  carry  round 
the  wine  at  dessert.  For  one  thing,  they 

always  take  it  the  wrong  way  round which  of 

course  brings  bad  luck  to  everybody  present !  " 

"  Better  go  the  wrong  way  than  not  go  at 
all!"  said  our  host.  "Would  you  kindly  help 
yourself?"  (This  was  to  the  fat  red-faced 
man.)  "  You  are  not  a  teetotaler,  I  think  ?  " 


ix]  THE    FAREWELL-PARTY  139 

"  Indeed  but  I  am  ! "  he  replied,  as  he 
pushed  on  the  bottles.  "  Nearly  twice  as 
much  money  is  spent  in  England  on  Drink, 
as  on  any  other  article  of  food.  Read  this 
card."  (What  faddist  ever  goes  about  without 
a  pocketful  of  the  appropriate  literature  ?) 
"  The  stripes  of  different  colours  represent  the 
amounts  spent  on  various  articles  of  food. 
Look  at  the  highest  three.  Money  spent  on 
butter  and  on  cheese,  thirty-five  millions  :  on 
bread,  seventy  millions  :  on  intoxicating  liquors, 
one  hundred  and  thirty-six  millions !  If  I 
had  my  way,  I  would  close  every  public-house 
in  the  land  !  Look  at  that  card,  and  read  the 
motto.  That's  where  all  the  money  goes  to  !  " 

"  Have  you  seen  the  Anti-Teetotal  Card?r 
Arthur  innocently  enquired. 

"  No,  Sir,  I  have  not !  "  the  orator  savagely 
replied.  "  What  is  it  like  ?  " 

"  Almost  exactly  like  this  one.  The  coloured 
stripes  are  the  same.  Only,  instead  of  the 
words  '  Money  spent  on,'  it  has  '  Incomes 
derived  from  sale  of  ;  and,  instead  of  '  That's 
where  all  the  money  goes  to,'  its  motto  is 
'  Thafs  where  all  the  money  comes  from  ! ' ' 


140          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

The  red-faced  man  scowled,  but  evidently 
considered  Arthur  beneath  his  notice.  So 
Lady  Muriel  took  up  the  cudgels.  "  Do  you 
hold  the  theory,"  she  enquired,  "  that  people 
can  preach  teetotalism  more  effectually  by  be- 
ing teetotalers  themselves  ? " 

"  Certainly  I  do  !  "  replied  the  red-faced  man. 
"  Now,  here  is  a  case  in  point,"  unfolding 
a  newspaper-cutting :  "  let  me  read  you  this 
letter  from  a  teetotaler.  To  the  Editor. 
Sir,  I  was  once  a  moderate  drinker,  and  knew 
a  man  ivho  drank  to  excess.  I  went  to  him. 
'  Give  up  this  drink,'  I  said.  '  It  will  ruin  your 
health  !  '  '  You  drink,'  he  said :  '  why  shouldn't 
I  ? '  '  Yes]  I  said,  '  but  I  know  when  to 
leave  off.'  He  turned  away  from  me.  '  You 
drink  in  your  way ]  he  said:  ''let  me  drink 
in  mine.  Be  off !'  Then  1  saw  that,  to  do 
any  good  with  him,  I  must  forswear  drink. 
From  that  hour  I  haven  t  touched  a  drop  !" 

"  There !  What  do  you  say  to  that  ?  "  He 
looked  round  triumphantly,  while  the  cutting 
was  handed  round  for  inspection. 

"  How  very  curious  !  "  exclaimed  Arthur, 
when  it  had  reached  him.  "  Did  you  happen 


rx]  THE    FAREWELL-PARTY.  141 

to  see  a  letter,  last  week,  about  early  rising  ? 
It  was  strangely  like  this  one." 

The  red-faced  man's  curiosity  was  roused. 
"  Where  did  it  appear  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  Let  me  read  it  to  you,"  said  Arthur.  He 
took  some  papers  from  his  pocket,  opened  one 
of  them,  and  read  as  follows.  To  the  Editor. 
Sir,  I  was  once  a  moderate  sleeper,  and  knew  a 
man  who  slept  to  excess.  I  pleaded  with  him. 
'  Give  up  this  lying  in  bed,'  I  said,  '  It  will 
ruin  your  health  /'  '  You  go  to  bed1,  he  said: 
'  why  shouldnt  I  ?'  '  Yes,'  I  said,  'but  I  know 
when  to  get  up  in  the  morning'  He  turned  away 
from  me.  '  You  sleep  in  your  way,'  he  said : 
'  let  me  sleep  in  mine.  Be  off !  '  Then  I  saw 
that  to  do  any  good  with  him,  I  must  forswear 
sleep.  From  that  hour  I  haven  t  been  to  bed  !  " 

Arthur  folded  and  pocketed  his  paper,  and 
passed  on  the  newspaper-cutting.  None  of  us 
dared  to  laugh,  the  red-faced  man  was 
evidently  so  angry.  "  Your  parallel  doesn't  run 
on  all  fours  !  "  he  snarled. 

"Moderate  drinkers  never  do  so!"  Arthur 
quietly  replied.  Even  the  stern  old  lady 
laughed  at  this. 


H2  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  But  it  needs  many  other  things  to  make  a 
perfect  dinner !  "  said  Lady  Muriel,  evidently 
anxious  to  change  the  subject.  "  Mein  Herr  ! 
What  is  your  idea  of  a  perfect  dinner-party  ?  " 

The  old  man  looked  round  smilingly,  and 
his  gigantic  spectacles  seemed  more  gigantic 
than  ever.  "A  perfect  dinner-party?''  he 
repeated.  "  First,  it  must  be  presided  over 
by  our  present  hostess  ! " 

"That,  of  course!"  she  gaily  interposed. 
"  But  what  else,  Mein  Herr  ?  " 

"  I  can  but  tell  you  what  I  have  seen,"  said 

Mein  Herr,  "in  mine  own in  the  country  I 

have  traveled  in." 

He   paused   for   a   full    minute,    and    gazed 

steadily  at    the   ceiling with    so    dreamy   an 

expression  on  his  face,  that  I  feared  he  was 
going  off  into  a  reverie,  which  seemed  to  be 
his  normal  state.  However,  after  a  minute, 
he  suddenly  began  again. 

"  That  which  chiefly  causes  the  failure  of  a 

dinner-party,  is  the  running-short not  of  meat, 

nor  yet  of  drink,  but  of  conversation''' 

"  In  an  English  dinner-party,"  I  remarked, 
''  I  have  never  known  small-talk  run  short !  " 


ix]  THE    FAREWELL-PARTY.  143 

"  Pardon  me,"  Mein  Herr  respectfully  replied, 
"  I  did  not  say  'small-talk.'  I  said  'conversa- 
tion.' All  such  topics  as  the  weather,  or  politics, 
or  local  gossip,  are  unknown  among  us.  They 
are  either  vapid  or  controversial.  What  we 
need  for  conversation  is  a  topic  of  interest  and 
of  novelty.  To  secure  these  things  we  have 
tried  various  plans Moving-Pictures,  Wild- 
Creatures,  Moving-Guests,  and  a  Revolving- 
Humorist.  But  this  last  is  only  adapted  to 
small  parties." 

"  Let  us  have  it  in  four  separate  Chapters, 
please  !  "  said  Lady  Muriel,  who  was  evidently 

deeply    interested as,    indeed,    most    of    the 

party  were,  by  this  time  :  and,  all  down  the 
table,  talk  had  ceased,  and  heads  were  leaning 
forwards,  eager  to  catch  fragments  of  Mein 
Herr's  oration. 

"Chapter  One!  Moving-Pictures!"  was  pro- 
claimed in  the  silvery  voice  of  our  hostess. 

"  The  dining-table  is  shaped  like  a  circular 
ring,"  Mein  Herr  began,  in  low  dreamy  tones, 
which,  however,  were  perfectly  audible  in  the 
silence.  "  The  guests  are  seated  at  the  inner 
side  as  well  as  the  outer,  having  ascended  to 


144          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO     CONCLUDED. 

their  places  by  a  winding-staircase,  from  the 
room  below.  Along  the  middle  of  the  table 
runs  a  little  railway  ;  and  there  is  an  endless 
train  of  trucks,  worked  round  by  machinery  ; 
and  on  each  truck  there  are  two  pictures,  lean- 
ing back  to  back.  The  train  makes  two  circuits 
during  dinner ;  and,  when  it  has  been  once 
round,  the  waiters  turn  the  pictures  round  in 
each  truck,  making  them  face  the  other  way. 
Thus  every  guest  sees  every  picture  !  " 

He  paused,  and  the  silence  seemed  deader 
than  ever.  Lady  Muriel  looked  aghast. 
"  Really,  if  this  goes  on,"  she  exclaimed,  "  I 
shall  have  to  drop  a  pin  !  Oh,  it's  my  fault,  is 
it  ?  "  (In  answer  to  an  appealing  look  from  Mein 
Herr.)  "  I  was  forgetting  my  duty.  Chapter 
Two  !  Wild-Creatures  !  " 

"  We  found  the  Moving-Pictures  a  little 
monotonous,"  said  Mein  Herr.  "  People 
didn't  care  to  talk  Art  through  a  whole  dinner  ; 
so  we  tried  Wild-Creatures.  Among  the  flowers, 
which  we  laid  (just  as  you  do)  about  the  table, 
were  to  be  seen,  here  a  mouse,  there  a  beetle  ; 
here  a  spider,"  (Lady  Muriel  shuddered)  "there 
a  wasp ;  here  a  toad,  there  a  snake ;"  ("Father !  " 


ix]  THE    FAREWELL-PARTY.  145 

said  Lady  Muriel,  plaintively.  "  Did  you  hear 
that  ?")  "so  we  had  plenty  to  talk  about ! " 

"  And  when  you  got  stung "  the  old  lady 

began. 

"  They  were  all  chained-up,  dear  Madam  !  " 

And  the  old  lady  gave  a  satisfied  nod. 

There  was  no  silence  to  follow,  this  time. 
"  Third  Chapter  ! "  Lady  Muriel  proclaimed  at 
once,  "  Moving-Guests  ! " 

"  Even  the  Wild- Creatures  proved  mono- 
tonous/' the  orator  proceeded.  "  So  we  left  the 
guests  to  choose  their  own  subjects  ;  and,  to 
avoid  monotony,  we  changed  them.  We  made 
the  table  of  two  rings ;  and  the  inner  ring 
moved  slowly  round,  all  the  time,  along  with 
the  floor  in  the  middle  and  the  inner  row  of 
guests.  Thus  every  inner  guest  was  brought 
face-to-face  with  every  outer  guest.  It  was  a 
little  confusing,  sometimes,  to  have  to  begin  a 
story  to  one  friend  and  finish  it  to  another  ; 
but  every  plan  has  its  faults,  you  know." 

"  Fourth  Chapter  !  "  Lady  Muriel  hastened 
to  announce.  "The  Revolving- H umorist !" 

"  For  a  small  party  we  found  it  an  excellent 
plan  to  have  a  round  table,  with  a  hole  cut  in 

L 


146          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

the  middle  large  enough  to  hold  one  guest. 
Here  we  placed  our  best  talker.  He  revolved 
slowly,  facing  every  other  guest  in  turn  :  and 
he  told  lively  anecdotes  the  whole  time ! " 

"  I  shouldn't  like  it !  "  murmured  the  pompous 
man.  "  It  would  make  me  giddy,  revolving 
like  that !  I  should  decline  to—  '  here  it 
appeared  to  dawn  upon  him  that  perhaps  the 
assumption  he  was  making  was  not  warranted 
by  the  circumstances  :  he  took  a  hasty  gulp  of 
wine,  and  choked  himself. 

But  Mein  Herr  had  relapsed  into  reverie, 
and  made  no  further  remark.  Lady  Muriel 
gave  the  signal,  and  the  ladies  left  the  room. 


CHAPTER  X. 

JABBERING     AND     JAM. 

WHEN  the  last  lady  had  disappeared,  and 
the  Earl,  taking  his  place  at  the  head  of  the 
table,  had  issued  the  military  order  "  Gentle- 
men !  Close  up  the  ranks,  if  you  please  ! ", 
and  when,  in  obedience  to  his  command,  we 
had  gathered  ourselves  compactly  round  him, 
the  pompous  man  gave  a  deep  sigh  of  relief, 
filled  his  glass  to  the  brim,  pushed  on  the 
wine,  and  began  one  of  his  favorite  orations. 
"  They  are  charming,  no  doubt !  Charming, 
but  very  frivolous.  They  drag  us  down,  so 
to  speak,  to  a  lower  level.  They— 

L    2 


148          SYLVJE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Do    not   all    pronouns   require  antecedent 
nouns  ? "  the  Earl  gently  enquired. 

"  Pardon  me,"  said  the  pompous  man,  with 
lofty  condescension.  "  I  had  overlooked  the 
noun.  The  ladies.  We  regret  their  absence. 
Yet  we  console  ourselves.  Thought  is  free. 
With  them,  we  are  limited  to  trivial  topics- 
Art,  Literature,  Politics,  and  so  forth.  One 
can  bear  to  discuss  such  paltry  matters  with 

a  lady.     But    no    man,  in   his  senses "  (he 

looked  sternly  round   the   table,  as  if  defying 

contradiction)  " ever  yet  discussed  WINE 

with  a  lady !  "  He  sipped  his  glass  of  port, 
leaned  back  in  his  chair,  and  slowly  raised  it 
up  to  his  eye,  so  as  to  look  through  it  at  the 
lamp.  "The  vintage,  my  Lord  ?  "  he  enquired, 
glancing  at  his  host. 

The  Earl  named  the  date. 

"  So  I  had  supposed.  But  one  likes  to  be 
certain.  The  tint  is,  perhaps,  slightly  pale. 
But  the  body  is  unquestionable.  And  as  for 
the  bouquet— 

Ah,  that  magic  Bouquet  !  How  vividly 
that  single  word  recalled  the  scene  !  The 
little  beggar-boy  turning  his  somersault  in 


x]  JABBERING    AND    JAM.  149 

the  road the  sweet  little  crippled  maiden  in 

my  arms the  mysterious  evanescent  nurse- 
maid  all  rushed  tumultuously  into  my  mind, 

like  the  creatures  of  a  dream  :  and  through 
this  mental  haze  there  still  boomed  on,  like 
the  tolling  of  a  bell,  the  solemn  voice  of  the 
great  connoisseur  of  WINE ! 

Even  his  utterances  had  taken  on  themselves 
a   strange   and   dream-like   form.      "  No,"    he 

resumed and  zv/ty  is  it,  I  pause  to  ask,  that, 

in  taking  up  the  broken  thread  of  a  dialogue, 
one  always  begins  with  this  cheerless  monosyl- 
lable ?  After  much  anxious  thought,  I  have 
come  to  the  conclusion  that  the  object  in  view 
is  the  same  as  that  of  the  schoolboy,  when  the 
sum  he  is  working  has  got  into  a  hopeless 
muddle,  and  when  in  despair  he  takes  the 
sponge,  washes  it  all  out,  and  begins  again. 
Just  in  the  same  way  the  bewildered  orator, 
by  the  simple  process  of  denying  everything 
that  has  been  hitherto  asserted,  makes  a  clean 
sweep  of  the  whole  discussion,  and  can  '  start 
fair'  with  a  fresh  theory.  "  No,"  he  resumed  : 
"  there's  nothing  like  cherry-jam,  after  all. 
That's  what  /  say  !  " 


150         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Not  for  all  qualities  !  "  an  eager  little  man 
shrilly  interposed.  "  For  richness  of  general 
tone  I  don't  say  that  it  has  a  rival.  But  for 

delicacy  of  modulation for  what  one  may  call 

the  '  harmonics '  of  flavour give  me  good 

old  raspberry -jam  \  " 

"  Allow  me  one  word  !  "  The  fat  red-faced 
man,  quite  hoarse  with  excitement,  broke  into 
the  dialogue.  "  It's  too  important  a  question 
to  be  settled  by  Amateurs  !  I  can  give  you 

the  views  of  a  Professional perhaps  the  most 

experienced  jam-taster  now  living.  Why,  I've 
known  him  fix  the  age  of  strawberry-jam,  to 

a  day and  we  all  know  what  a  difficult  jam 

it  is  to  give  a  date  to on  a  single  tasting ! 

Well,  I  put  to  him  the  very  question  you  are 
discussing.  His  words  were  l  cherry-yam  is 
best,  for  mere  chiaroscuro  of  flavour:  raspberry- 
jam  lends  itself  best  to  those  resolved  discords 
that  linger  so  lovingly  on  the  tongue  :  but,  for 
rapturous  ittterness  of  saccharine  perfection,  it's 
apricot-jam  first  and  the  rest  nowhere  ! '  That 
was  well  put,  wasnt  it  ?  " 

"  Consummately  put !  "  shrieked  the  eager 
little  man. 


x]  JABBERING    AND    JAM.  151 

"  I  know  your  friend  well,"  said  the  pompous 
man.  "As  a  jam-taster,  he  has  no  rival!  Yet 
I  scarcely  think 

But  here  the  discussion  became  general :  and 
his  words  were  lost  in  a  confused  medley  of 
names,  every  guest  sounding  the  praises  of  his 
own  favorite  jam.  At  length,  through  the 
din,  our  host's  voice  made  itself  heard.  "  Let 
us  join  the  ladies  ! "  These  words  seemed  to 
recall  me  to  waking  life  ;  and  I  felt  sure  that, 
for  the  last  few  minutes,  I  had  relapsed  into 
the  '  eerie  '  state. 

"  A  strange  dream  ! "  I  said  to  myself  as  we 
trooped  upstairs.  "  Grown  men  discussing,  as 
seriously  as  if  they  were  matters  of  life  and 
death,  the  hopelessly  trivial  details  of  mere 
delicacies,  that  appeal  to  no  higher  human 
function  than  the  nerves  of  the  tongue  and 
palate !  What  a  humiliating  spectacle  such  a 
discussion  would  be  in  waking  life  !  " 

When,  on  our  way  to  the  drawing-room,  I 
received  from  the  housekeeper  my  little  friends, 
clad  in  the  daintiest  of  evening  costumes,  and 
looking,  in  the  flush  of  expectant  delight,  more 
radiantly  beautiful  than  I  had  ever  seen  them 


152          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

before,  I  felt  no  shock  of  surprise,  but  accepted 
the  fact  with  the  same  unreasoning  apathy  with 
which  one  meets  the  events  of  a  dream,  and 
was  merely  conscious  of  a  vague  anxiety  as  to 
how  they  would  acquit  themselves  in  so  novel 

a  scene forgetting  that  Court-life  in  Outland 

was  as  good  training  as  they  could  need  for 
Society  in  the  more  substantial  world. 

It  would  be  best,  I  thought,  to  introduce 
them  as  soon  as  possible  to  some  good-natured 
lady-guest,  and  I  selected  the  young  lady  whose 
piano-forte-playing  had  been  so  much  talked  of. 
"  I  am  sure  you  like  children,"  I  said.  "  May 
I  introduce  two  little  friends  of  mine  ?  This  is 

Sylvie and  this  is  Bruno." 

The  young  lady  kissed  Sylvie  very  graciously. 
She  would  have  done  the  same  for  Bruno,  but 
he  hastily  drew  back  out  of  reach.  "  Their 
faces  are  new  to  me,"  she  said.  "  Where  do 
you  come  from,  my  dear  ?" 

I  had  not  anticipated  so  inconvenient  a 
question  ;  and,  fearing  that  it  might  embarrass 
Sylvie,  I  answered  for  her.  "  They  come  from 
some  distance.  They  are  only  here  just  for 
this  one  evening." 


x]  JABBERING    AND    JAM.  153 

"  How  far  have  you  come,  dear  ?  "  the  young 
lady  persisted. 

Sylvie  looked  puzzled.  "  A  mile  or  two,  I 
think"  she  said  doubtfully. 

"  A  mile  or  three"  said  Bruno. 

"  You  shouldn't  say  '  a  mile  or  three]  "  Sylvie 
corrected  him. 

The  young  lady  nodded  approval.  "  Sylvie's 
quite  right.  It  isn't  usual  to  say  '  a  mile  or 
three:  " 

"  It  would  be  usual if  we  said  it  often 

enough,"  said  Bruno. 

It  was  the  young  lady's  turn  to  look  puzzled 
now.  "  He's  very  quick,  for  his  age ! "  she 
murmured.  "  You're  not  more  than  seven,  are 
you,  dear  ?  "  she  added  aloud. 

''I'm  not  so  many  as  that"  said  Bruno. 
"  I'm  one.  Sylvie's  one.  Sylvie  and  me  is 
two.  Sylvie  taught  me  to  count." 

"  Oh,  I  wasn't  counting  you,  you  know  ! " 
the  young  lady  laughingly  replied. 

"  Hasn't  oo  learnt  to  count  ?  "  said  Bruno. 

The  young  lady  bit  her  lip.  "  Dear !  What 
embarrassing  questions  he  does  ask  ! "  she  said 
in  a  half-audible  '  aside.' 


154          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Bruno,  you  shouldn't ! "  Sylvie  said  re- 
provingly. 

"Shouldn't  what?"  said  Bruno. 

"  You  shouldn't  ask that  sort  of  questions." 

"  What  sort  of  questions?"  Bruno  mis- 
chievously persisted. 

"  What  she  told  you  not,"  Sylvie  replied, 
with  a  shy  glance  at  the  young  lady,  and  losing 
all  sense  of  grammar  in  her  confusion. 

"  Oo  ca'n't  pronounce  it !  "  Bruno  triumph- 
antly cried.  And  he  turned  to  the  young  lady, 
for  sympathy  in  his  victory.  "  I  knewed  she 
couldn't  pronounce  '  umbrella-sting  '  !  " 

The  young  lady  thought  it  best  to  return  to 
the  arithmetical  problem.  "  When  I  asked  if 
you  were  seven,  you  know,  I  didn't  mean 
'  how  many  children  ?  '  I  meant  '  how  many 
years ' 

"  Only  got  two  ears,"  said  Bruno.  "  Nobody's 
got  seven  ears." 

"And  you  belong  to  this  little  girl?"  the 
young  lady  continued,  skilfully  evading  the 
anatomical  problem. 

"No,  I  doosn't  belong  to  her!"  said  Bruno. 
"Sylvie  belongs  to  me!"  And  he  clasped 


x]  JABBERING   AND    JAM.  155 

his  arms  round  her  as  he  added  "  She  are  my 
very  mine  ! " 

"  And,  do  you  know,"  said  the  young  lady, 
"  I've  a  little  sister  at  home,  exactly  \ikeyour 
sister  ?  I'm  sure  they'd  love  each  other." 

"  They'd  be  very  extremely  useful  to  each 
other,"  Bruno  said,  thoughtfully.  "And  they 
wouldn't  want  no  looking-glasses  to  brush  their 
hair  wiz." 

"Why  not,  my  child  ?" 

"  Why,  each  one  would  do  for  the  other  one's 
looking-glass,  a-course  !  "  cried  Bruno. 

But  here  Lady  Muriel,  who  had  been  stand- 
ing by,  listening  to  this  bewildering  dialogue, 
interrupted  it  to  ask  if  the  young  lady  would 
favour  us  with  some  music  ;  and  the  children 
followed  their  new  friend  to  the  piano. 

Arthur  came  and  sat  down  by  me.  "If 
rumour  speaks  truly,"  he  whispered,  "  we  are  to 
have  a  real  treat !  "  And  then,  amid  a  breath- 
less silence,  the  performance  began. 

She  was  one  of  those  players  whom  Society 
talks  of  as  '  brilliant,'  and  she  dashed  into  the 
loveliest  of  Haydn's  Symphonies  in  a  style  that 
was  clearly  the  outcome  of  years  of  patient 


156          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

study  under  the  best  masters.  At  first  it 
seemed  to  be  the  perfection  of  piano-forte- 
playing  ;  but  in  a  few  minutes  I  began  to  ask 
myself,  wearily,  "  What  is  it  that  is  wanting  ? 
Why  does  one  get  no  pleasure  from  it  ? " 

Then  I  set  myself  to  listen  intently  to 
every  note  ;  and  the  mystery  explained  itself. 
There  was  an  almost-perfect  mechanical  cor- 
rectness  and  there  was  nothing  else  !  False 

notes,  of  course,  did  not  occur :  she  knew  the 
piece  too  well  for  that;  but  there  was  just 
enough  irregularity  of  time  to  betray  that  the 

player   had    no    real    '  ear '    for    music just 

enough  inarticulateness  in  the  more  elaborate 
passages  to  show  that  she  did  not  think  her 

audience   worth    taking    real    pains    for just 

enough  mechanical  monotony  of  accent  to  take 
all  soul  out  of  the  heavenly  modulations  she 
was  profaning in  short,  it  was  simply  irritat- 
ing ;  and,  when  she  had  rattled  off  the  finale 
and  had  struck  the  final  chord  as  if,  the  instru- 
ment being  now  done  with,  it  didn't  matter 
how  many  wires  she  broke,  I  could  not  even 
affect  to  join  in  the  stereotyped  "  Oh,  thank 
you  ! "  which  was  chorused  around  me. 


x]  JABBERING    AND    JAM.  157 

Lady  Muriel  joined  us  for  a  moment. 
"  Isn't  it  beautiful  ?  "  she  whispered,  to  Arthur, 
with  a  mischievous  smile. 

"  No,  it  isn't !  "  said  Arthur.  But  the  gentle 
sweetness  of  his  face  quite  neutralised  the 
apparent  rudeness  of  the  reply. 

"  Such  execution,  you  know  !  "  she  persisted. 

"  That's  what  she  deserves"  Arthur  doggedly 
replied  :  "  but  people  are  so  prejudiced  against 
capital— 

"  Now  you're  beginning  to  talk  nonsense !  " 
Lady  Muriel  cried.  "  But  you  do  like  Music, 
don't  you  ?  You  said  so  just  now." 

"  Do  I  like  Music  ? "  the  Doctor  repeated 
softly  to  himself.  "  My  dear  Lady  Muriel, 
there  is  Music  and  Music.  Your  question  is 
painfully  vague.  You  might  as  well  ask  '  Do 
you  like  People  ?  '  " 

Lady  Muriel  bit  her  lip,  frowned,  and 
stamped  with  one  tiny  foot.  As  a  dramatic 
representation  of  ill-temper,  it  was  distinctly 
not  a  success.  However,  it  took  in  one  of  her 
audience,  and  Bruno  hastened  to  interpose,  as 
peacemaker  in  a  rising  quarrel,  with  the  remark 
"  /  likes  Peoples  !  " 


158          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Arthur  laid  a  loving  hand  on  the  little  curly 
head.  "  What  ?  All  Peoples  ?  "  he  enquired. 

"  Not  all  Peoples,"  Bruno  explained.    "  Only 

but  Sylvie and  Lady  Muriel and  him— 

(pointing  to  the  Earl)  "  and  oo and  oo  !  " 

"  You  shouldn't  point  at  people,'  said  Sylvie. 
<l  It's  very  rude." 

"  In  Bruno's  World,"  I  said,  "  there  are  only 
four  People worth  mentioning !  " 

"In  Bruno's  World  !"  Lady  Muriel  repeated 
thoughtfully.  "  A  bright  and  flowery  world. 
Where  the  grass  is  always  green,  where  the 
breezes  always  blow  softly,  and  the  rain-clouds 
never  gather ;  where  there  are  no  wild  beasts, 
and  no  deserts— 

"  There  must  be  deserts,"  Arthur  decisively 
remarked.  "  At  least  if  it  was  my  ideal  world." 

"  But  what  possible  use  is  there  in  a  desert?1 
said  Lady  Muriel.  "  Surely  you  would  have 
no  wilderness  in  your  ideal  world  ? " 

Arthur  smiled.  "  But  indeed  I  would  f"  he 
said.  "  A  wilderness  would  be  more  necessary 
than  a  railway  ;  and  far  more  conducive  to 
general  happiness  than  church-bells  !  " 

"  But  what  would  you  use  it  for  ?  " 


X]  JABBERING    AND    JAM.  159 

"  To  practise  music  in"  he  replied.  "  All  the 
young  ladies,  that  have  no  ear  for  music,  but 
insist  on  learning  it,  should  be  conveyed, 
every  morning,  two  or  three  miles  into  the 
wilderness.  There  each  would  find  a  comfort- 
able room  provided  for  her,  and  also  a  cheap 
second-hand  piano-forte,  on  which  she  might 
play  for  hours,  without  adding  one  needless 
pang  to  the  sum  of  human  misery  ! " 

Lady  Muriel  glanced  round  in  alarm,  lest 
these  barbarous  sentiments  should  be  over- 
heard. But  the  fair  musician  was  at  a  safe 
distance.  "  At  any  rate  you  must  allow  that 
she's  a  sweet  girl  ? "  she  resumed. 

"  Oh,  certainly.  As  sweet  as  eau  sucrfa,  if 
you  choose and  nearly  as  interesting  !  " 

"  You  are  incorrigible  !  "  said  Lady  Muriel, 
and  turned  to  me.  "  I  hope  you  found  Mrs. 
Mills  an  interesting  companion  ?" 

"  Oh,  that's  her  name,  is  it  ?  "  I  said.  "  I 
fancied  there  was  more  of  it." 

"  So  there  is  :  and  it  will  be  '  at  your  proper 
peril '  (whatever  that  may  mean)  if  you  ever 
presume  to  address  her  as  '  Mrs.  Mills.'  She 
is  'Mrs.  Ernest — Atkinson — Mills'! 


160          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  She  is  one  of  those  would-be  grandees," 
said  Arthur,  "  who  think  that,  by  tacking  on  to 
their  surname  all  their  spare  Christian-names, 
with  hyphens  between,  they  can  give  it  an 
aristocratic  flavour.  As  if  it  wasn't  trouble 
enough  to  remember  one  surname ! " 

By  this  time  the  room  was  getting  crowded, 
as  the  guests,  invited  for  the  evening-party, 
were  beginning  to  arrive,  and  Lady  Muriel 
had  to  devote  herself  to  the  task  of  welcoming 
them,  which  she  did  with  the  sweetest  grace 
imaginable.  Sylvie  and  Bruno  stood  by  her, 
deeply  interested  in  the  process. 

"  I  hope  you  like  my  friends  ? "  she  said  to 
them.  "  Specially  my  dear  old  friend,  Mein 
Herr  (What's  become  of  him,  I  wonder  ? 
Oh,  there  he  is !),  that  old  gentleman  in 
spectacles,  with  a  long  beard  ? " 

"  He's  a  grand  old  gentleman  !  "  Sylvie  said, 
gazing  admiringly  at  '  Mein  Herr,'  who  had 
settled  down  in  a  corner,  from  which  his  mild 
eyes  beamed  on  us  through  a  gigantic  pair  of 
spectacles.  "  And  what  a  lovely  beard  ! " 

"  What  does  he  call  his-self  ?  "  Bruno 
whispered. 


xj  JABBERING  AND  JAM.  161 

"He  calls  himself  '  Mein  Herr,'"  Sylvie 
whispered  in  reply. 

Bruno  shook  his  head  impatiently.  "  That's 
what  he  calls  his  hair,  not  his  self,  oo  silly  !  " 
He  appealed  to  me.  "  What  doos  he  call  his 
self,  Mister  Sir  ? " 

"  That's  the  only  name  /  know  of,"  I  said. 
11  But  he  looks  very  lonely.  Don't  you  pity  his 
grey  hairs  ?  " 

"  I  pities  his  self,"  said  Bruno,  still  harping 
on  the  misnomer;  "but  I  doosn't  pity  his 
hair,  one  bit.  His  hair  ca'n't  feel !  " 

"  We  met  him  this  afternoon,"  said  Sylvie. 
"  We'd  been  to  see  Nero,  and  we'd  had  such 
fun  with  him,  making  him  invisible  again ! 
And  we  saw  that  nice  old  gentleman  as  we 
came  back." 

"Well,  let's  go  and  talk  to  him,  and  cheer 
him  up  a  little,"  I  said :  ''  and  perhaps  we 
shall  find  out  what  he  calls  himself," 


M 


CHAPTER   XI. 

THE    MAN    IN    THE    MOON. 

THE  children  came  willingly.  With  one  of 
them  on  each  side  of  me,  I  approached  the 
corner  occupied  by  '  Mein  Herr.'  "  You 
don't  object  to  children,  I  hope  ?  "  I  began. 

"  Crabbed  age  and  youth  cannot  live  to- 
gether ! "  the  old  man  cheerfully  replied,  with 
a  most  genial  smile.  "  Now  take  a  good  look 
at  me,  my  children  !  You  would  guess  me  to 
be  an  old  man,  wouldn't  you  ?  " 

At  first  sight,  though  his  face  had  reminded 
me  so  mysteriously  of  "  the  Professor/'  he 
had  seemed  to  be  decidedly  a  younger  man  : 


XI] 


THE    MAN    IN    THE    MOON. 


163 


but,  when  I  came  to  look  into  the  wonderful 
depth  of  those  large  dreamy  eyes,  I  felt, 
with  a  strange  sense  of  awe,  that  he  was  in- 
calculably older :  he  seemed  to  gaze  at  us 
out  of  some  by-gone  age,  centuries  away. 


"  I  don't  know  if  oo're  an  old  man,"  Bruno 
answered,  as  the  children,  won  over  by  the 
gentle  voice,  crept  a  little  closer  to  him.  "  I 
thinks  oo're  eighty-three'' 

M  2 


164          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  He  is  very  exact ! "  said  Mein  Herr. 

"Is  he  anything  like  right  ?  "    I  said. 

"There  are  reasons,"  Mein  Herr  gently 
replied,  "  reasons  which  I  am  not  at  liberty 
to  explain,  for  not  mentioning  definitely  any 
Persons,  Places,  or  Dates.  One  remark  only 

I  will  permit  myself  to  make that  the 

period  of  life,  between  the  ages  of  a  hundred- 
and-sixty-five  and  a  hundred-and-seventy-five, 
is  a  specially  safe  one." 

"How  do  you  make  that  out?"   I  said. 

"  Thus.  You  would  consider  swimming  to 
be  a  very  safe  amusement,  if  you  scarcely 
ever  heard  of  any  one  dying  of  it.  Am  I 
not  right  in  thinking  that  you  never  heard  of 
any  one  dying  between  those  two  ages  ?  " 

"I  see  what  you  mean,"  I  said  :  "but  I'm 
afraid  you  ca'n't  prove  swimming  to  be  safe, 
on  the  same  principle.  It  is  no  uncommon 
thing  to  hear  of  some  one  being  drowned" 

"In  my  country,"  said  Mein  Herr,  "no 
one  is  ever  drowned." 

"Is  there  no  water  deep  enough  ? " 

"  Plenty  !  But  we  ca'n't  sink.  We  are  all 
lighter  than  water.  Let  me  explain,"  he  added, 


XI]  THE    MAN    IN    THE    MOON.  165 

seeing  my  look  of  surprise.  "  Suppose  you 
desire  a  race  of  pigeons  of  a  particular  shape 
or  colour,  do  you  not  select,  from  year  to 
year,  those  that  are  nearest  to  the  shape  or 
colour  you  want,  and  keep  those,  and  part 
with  the  others  ?  " 

"We  do,"  I  replied.  "We  call  it  'Arti- 
ficial Selection." 

"  Exactly  so,"  said  Mein  Herr.  "  Well,  we 
have  practised  that  for  some  centuries— con- 
stantly selecting  the  lightest  people  :  so  that, 
now,  everybody  is  lighter  than  water." 

"  Then  you  never  can  be  drowned  at  sea  ?" 
"  Never !     It  is  only  on  the  land for   in- 
stance, when  attending  a  play  in  a  theatre— 
that  we  are  in  such  a  danger. 

"How  can  that  happen  at  a  theatre  ?  " 
"Our   theatres  are  all  underground.     Large 
tanks   of  water  are    placed   above.      If  a   fire 
breaks   out,  the   taps    are   turned,   and  in  one 
minute  the  theatre  is  flooded,   up  to    the  very 
roof!     Thus  the  fire  is  extinguished." 
"  And  the  audience,  I  presume  ?  " 
"That  is  a  minor  matter,"  Mein  Herr  care- 
lessly replied.     "  But  they  have  the  comfort  of 


166          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

knowing  that,  whether  drowned  or  not,  they 
are  all  lighter  than  water.  We  have  not  yet 
reached  the  standard  of  making  people  lighter 
than  air :  but  we  are  aiming  at  it ;  and,  in 
another  thousand  years  or  so — 

"  What  doos  oo  do  wiz  the  peoples  that's 
too  heavy  ?  "  Bruno  solemnly  enquired. 

"  We  have  applied  the  same  process,"  Mein 
Herr  continued,  not  noticing  Bruno's  ques- 
tion, "  to  many  other  purposes.  We  have 

gone  on  selecting  walking-sticks always 

keeping  those  that  walked  best till'  we  have 

obtained  some,  that  can  walk  by  themselves  ! 
We  have  gone  on  selecting  cotton-wool,  till  we 
have  got  some  lighter  than  air !  You've  no 
idea  what  a  useful  material  it  is !  We  call 
it  '  Imponderal.' ' 

'•'  What  do  you   use  it  for  ? " 

"Well,  chiefly  for  packing  articles,  to  go 
by  Parcel-Post.  It  makes  them  weigh  less 
than  nothing,  you  know." 

"  And  how  do  the  Post-Office  people  know 
what  you  have  to  pay  ? ' 

"That's  the  beauty  of  the  new  system!" 
Mein  Herr  cried  exultingly.  "They  pay  us: 


xi]  THE    MAN    IN    THE    MOON.  167 

we   don't  pay  them  !     I've  often  got  as  much 
as  five  shillings  for  sending  a  parcel." 

"  But  doesn't  your  Government  object  ? " 

"Well,  they  do  object,  a  little.  They  say 
it  comes  so  expensive,  in  the  long  run.  But 
the  thing's  as  clear  as  daylight,  by  their  own 
rules.  If  I  send  a  parcel,  that  weighs  a 
pound  more  than  nothing,  I  pay  three-pence  : 
so,  of  course,  if  it  weighs  a  pound  less  than 
nothing,  I  ought  to  receive  three-pence." 

"It  is  indeed  a  useful  article  ! "   I   said. 

"  Yet  even  '  Imponderal '  has  its  disadvan- 
tages," he  resumed.  "  I  bought  some,  a  few 
days  ago,  and  put  it  into  my  hat,  to  carry  it 
home,  and  the  hat  simply  floated  away ! " 

"  Had  oo  some  of  that  funny  stuff  in  oor  hat 
today?"  Bruno  enquired.  "  Sylvie  and  me 
saw  oo  in  the  road,  and  oor  hat  were  ever  so 
high  up  !  Weren't  it,  Sylvie  ?  " 

"  No,  that  was  quite  another  thing,"  said 
Mein  Herr.  "  There  was  a  drop  or  two  of 
rain  falling :  so  I  put  my  hat  on  the  top  of 

my  stick as  an  umbrella,  you  know.     As   I 

came   along  the  road,"    he  continued,   turning 
to  me,   "  I   was  overtaken  by " 


168          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


a  shower  of  rain  ?  "  said  Bruno. 


"  Well,  it  looked  more  like  the  tail  of  a  dog," 
Mein  Herr  replied.  "  It  was  the  most  curious 
thing  !  Something  rubbed  affectionately  against 
my  knee.  And  I  looked  down.  And  I  could 
see  nothing  !  Only,  about  a  yard  off,  there  was 
a  dog's  tail,  wagging,  all  by  itself!  " 

"Oh,  Sylvie  /"  Bruno  murmured  reproach- 
fully. "  Oo  didn't  finish  making  him  visible  !  " 

"I'm  so  sorry!"  Sylvie  said,  looking  very 
penitent.  "  I  meant  to  rub  it  along  his  back, 
but  we  were  in  such  a  hurry.  We'll  go  and 
finish  him  tomorrow.  Poor  thing !  Perhaps 
he'll  get  no  supper  tonight ! " 

"  Course  he  won't !  "  said  Bruno.  "  Nobody 
never  gives  bones  to  a  dog's  tail !  " 

Mein  Herr  looked  from  one  to  the  other  in 
blank  astonishment.  "  I  do  not  understand 
you,"  he  said.  "  I  had  lost  my  way,  and  I  was 
consulting  a  pocket-map,  and  somehow  I  had 
dropped  one  of  my  gloves,  and  this  invisible 
Something,  that  had  rubbed  against  my  knee, 
actually  brought  it  back  to  me ! " 

"  Course  he  did  ! "  said  Bruno.  "  He's 
welly  fond  of  fetching  things." 


xi]  THE    MAN    IN    THE    MOON.  169 

Mein  Herr  looked  so  thoroughly  bewildered 
that  I  thought  it  best  to  change  the  subject. 
"  What  a  useful  thing  a  pocket-map  is  !  "  I 
remarked. 

"  That's    another    thing  we've   learned  from 

your  Nation,"  said  Mein  Herr,  "  map-making. 

But  we've   carried  it  much  further    than  you. 

What   do   you    consider  the  largest  map  that 

would  be  really  useful  ?  " 

"  About  six  inches  to  the  mile. ' 

"  Only  six  inches  !  "  exclaimed  Mein  Herr. 
"  We  very  soon  got  to  six  yards  to  the  mile. 
Then  we  tried  a  hundred  yards  to  the  mile. 
And  then  came  the  grandest  idea  of  all !  We 
actually  made  a  map  of  the  country,  on  the 
scale  of  a  mile  to  the  mile  !  ' ' 

"  Have  you  used  it  much  ?  "  I  enquired. 

"It  has  never  been  spread  out,  yet,"  said 
Mein  Herr  :  "  the  farmers  objected  :  they  said 
it  would  cover  the  whole  country,  and  shut  out 
the  sunlight !  So  we  now  use  the  country  it- 
self, as  its  own  map,  and  I  assure  you  it  does 
nearly  as  well.  Now  let  me  ask  you  another 
question.  What  is  the  smallest  world  you 
would  care  to  inhabit  ?  " 


170         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"/  know!"  cried  Bruno,  who  was  listening 
intently.  "  I'd  like  a  little  teeny-tiny  world, 
just  big  enough  for  Sylvie  and  me !  " 

"  Then  you  would  have  to  stand  on  opposite 
sides  of  it,"  said  Mein  Herr.  "  And  so  you 
would  never  see  your  sister  at  all  /" 

"And  I'd  have  no  lessons"  said  Bruno. 

"  You  don't  mean  to  say  you've  been  trying 
experiments  in  that  direction  !  "  I  said. 

"  Well,  not  experiments  exactly.  We  do  not 
profess  to  construct  planets.  But  a  scientific 
friend  of  mine,  who  has  made  several  balloon- 
voyages,  assures  me  he  has  visited  a  planet  so 
small  that  he  could  walk  right  round  it  in 
twenty  minutes !  There  had  been  a  great 
battle,  just  before  his  visit,  which  had  ended 
rather  oddly  :  the  vanquished  army  ran  away 
at  full  speed,  and  in  a  very  few  minutes  found 
themselves  face-to-face  with  the  victorious 
army,  who  were  marching  home  again,  and 
who  were  so  frightened  at  finding  themselves 
between  two  armies,  that  they  surrendered  at 
once !  Of  course  that  lost  them  the  battle, 
though,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  they  had  killed  all 
the  soldiers  on  the  other  side." 


xi]  THE    MAN    IN    THE    MOON.  171 

"  Killed  soldiers  cdrit  run  away,"  Bruno 
thoughtfully  remarked. 

"  '  Killed  '  is  a  technical  word,"  replied  Mein 
Herr.  "In  the  little  planet  I  speak  of,  the 
bullets  were  made  of  soft  black  stuff,  which 
marked  everything  it  touched.  So,  after  a 
battle,  all  you  had  to  do  was  to  count  how 
many  soldiers  on  each  side  were  '  killed  '- 
that  means  '  marked  on  the  back?  for  marks  in 
front  didn't  count." 

"  Then  you  couldn't  '  kill '  any,  unless  they 
ran  away  ?  "  I  said. 

"  My  scientific  friend  found  out  a  better 
plan  than  that.  He  pointed  out  that,  if  only 
the  bullets  were  sent  the  other  way  round  the 
world,  they  would  hit  the  enemy  in  the  back. 
After  that,  the  worst  marksmen  were  consid- 
ered the  best  soldiers ;  and  the  very  worst  of 
all  always  got  First  Prize." 

"And  how  did  you  decide  which  was  the 
very  worst  of  all  ?  " 

"  Easily.  The  best  possible  shooting  is,  you 
know,  to  hit  what  is  exactly  in  front  of  you  : 
so  of  course  the  worst  possible  is  to  hit  what 
is  exactly  behind  you." 


172          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  They  were  strange  people  in  that  little 
planet !"  I  said. 

"  They  were  indeed  !  Perhaps  their  method 
of  government  was  the  strangest  of  all.  In 
this  planet,  I  am  told,  a  Nation  consists  of  a 
number  of  Subjects,  and  one  King :  but,  in 
the  little  planet  I  speak  of,  it  consisted  of  a 
number  of  Kings,  and  one  Subject ! " 

"  You  say  you  are  '  told '  what  happens  in 
this  planet,"  I  said.  "May  I  venture  to  guess 
that  you  yourself  are  a  visitor  from  some  other 
planet  ? " 

Bruno  clapped  his  hands  in  his  excitement. 
"  Is  oo  the  Man-in-the-Moon  ?"  he  cried. 

Mein  Herr  looked  uneasy.  "  I  am  not  in 
the  Moon,  my  child,"  he  said  evasively.  "  To 
return  to  what  I  was  saying.  I  think  that 
method  of  government  ought  to  answer  well. 
You  see,  the  Kings  would  be  sure  to  make 
Laws  contradicting  each  other :  so  the  Subject 
could  never  be  punished,  because,  whatever  he 
did,  he'd  be  obeying  some  Law." 

"  And,  whatever  he  did,  he'd  be  ^obeying 
some  Law  !  "  cried  Bruno.  "  So  he'd  always 
be  punished  !  " 


xi]  THE    MAN    IN    THE    MOON.  173 

Lady  Muriel  was  passing  at  the  moment,  and 
caught  the  last  word.  "  Nobody's  going  to 
be  punished  here  ! "  she  said,  taking  Bruno 
in  her  arms.  "  This  is  Liberty-Hall !  Would 
you  lend  me  the  children  for  a  minute  ?  " 

"  The  children  desert  us,  you  see,"  I  said  to 
Mein  Herr,  as  she  carried  them  off:  "  so  we 
old  folk  must  keep  each  other  company  !  " 

The  old  man  sighed.  "  Ah,  well !  We're  old 
folk  now ;  and  yet  I  was  a  child  myself,  once 
— at  least  I  fancy  so.' 

It  did  seem  a  rather  unlikely  fancy,  I  could 

not  help  owning  to  myself looking  at  the 

shaggy  white  hair,  and  the  long  beard that 

he  could  ever  have  been  a  child.  "  You  are 
fond  of  young  people  ?  "  I  said. 

"  Young  men"  he  replied.  "  Not  of  children 

exactly.  I  used  to  teach  young  men many 

a  year  ago in  my  dear  old  University  !  " 

"  I  didn't  quite  catch  its  name  ?  "    I  hinted. 

"  I  did  not  name  it,"  the  old  man  replied 
mildly.  "  Nor  would  you  know  the  name  if  I 
did.  Strange  tales  I  could  tell  you  of  all  the 
changes  I  have  witnessed  there  !  But  it  would 
weary  you,  I  fear." 


174          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  No,  indeed!  "  I  said.  "  Pray  go  on.  What 
kind  of  changes  ?  " 

But  the  old  man  seemed  to  be  more  in  a 
humour  for  questions  than  for  answers.  "  Tell 
me,"  he  said,  laying  his  hand  impressively  on 
my  arm,  "  tell  me  something.  For  I  am  a 
stranger  in  your  land,  and  I  know  little  of  yoiir 
modes  of  education  :  yet  something  tells  me 
we  are  further  on  than  you  in  the  eternal  cycle 

of  change and  that  many  a  theory  we  have 

tried  and  found  to  fail,  you  also  will  try,  with 
a  wilder  enthusiasm  :  you  also  will  find  to  fail, 
with  a  bitterer  despair  !  " 

It  was  strange  to  see  how,  as  he  talked,  and 
his  words  flowed  more  and  more  freely,  with  a 
certain  rhythmic  eloquence,  his  features  seemed 
to  glow  with  an  inner  light,  and  the  whole  man 
seemed  to  be  transformed,  as  if  he  had  grown 
fifty  years  younger  in  a  moment  of  time. 


CHAPTER   XII. 

FAIRY-MUSIC. 

THE  silence  that  ensued  was  broken  by  the 
voice  of  the  musical  young  lady,  who  had  seated 
herself  near  us,  and  was  conversing-  with  one  of 
the  newly-arrived  guests.  "  Well ! "  she  said  in 
a  tone  of  scornful  surprise.  "  We  are  to  have 
something  new  in  the  way  of  music,  it  appears  !  " 

I  looked  round  for  an  explanation,  and  was 
nearly  as  much  astonished  as  the  speaker  her- 
self :  it  was  Sylvie  whom  Lady  Muriel  was 
leading  to  the  piano ! 

"Do  try  it,  my  darling!"  she  was  saying. 
"I'm  sure  you  can  play  very  nicely !  " 


176          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Sylvie  looked  round  at  me,  with  tears  in  her 
eyes.  I  tried  to  give  her  an  encouraging 
smile,  but  it  was  evidently  a  great  strain  on  the 
nerves  of  a  child  so  wholly  unused  to  be  made 
an  exhibition  of,  and  she  was  frightened  and 
unhappy.  Yet  here  came  out  the  perfect  sweet- 
ness of  her  disposition :  I  could  see  that  she 
was  resolved  to  forget  herself,  and  do  her  best 
to  give  pleasure  to  Lady  Muriel  and  her  friends. 
She  seated  herself  at  the  instrument,  and  began 
instantly.  Time  and  expression,  so  far  as  one 
could  judge,  were  perfect  :  but  her  touch  was 
one  of  such  extraordinary  lightness  that  it  was 
at  first  scarcely  possible,  through  the  hum  of 
conversation  which  still  continued,  to  catch  a 
note  of  what  she  was  playing. 

But  in  a  minute  the  hum  had  died  away  into 
absolute  silence,  and  we  all  sat,  entranced  and 
breathless,  to  listen  to  such  heavenly  music  as 
none  then  present  could  ever  forget. 

Hardly  touching  the  notes  at  first,  she  played 

a  sort  of  introduction  in  a  minor  key like  an 

embodied  twilight ;  one  felt  as  though  the  lights 
were  growing  dim,  and  a  mist  were  creeping 
through  the  room.  Then  there  flashed  through 


Xii]  FAIRY-MUSIC.  177 

the  gathering  gloom  the  first  few  notes  of  a 
melody  so  lovely,  so  delicate,  that  one  held 
one's  breath,  fearful  to  lose  a  single  note  of  it. 
Ever  and  again  the  music  dropped  into  the 
pathetic  minor  key  with  which  it  had  begun, 
and,  each  time  that  the  melody  forced  its  way, 
so  to  speak,  through  the  enshrouding  gloom 
into  the  light  of  day,  it  was  more  entrancing, 
more  magically  sweet.  Under  the  airy  touch 
of  the  child,  the  instrument  actually  seemed 
to  warble,  like  a  bird.  "  Rise  up,  my  love,  my 
fair  one"  it  seemed  to  sing,  "  and  come  away  ! 
For  lo,  the  winter  is  past,  the  rain  is  over  and 
gone  ;  the  flowers  appear  on  the  earth  ;  the  time 
of  the  singing  of  birds  is  come  !  "  One  could 
fancy  one  heard  the  tinkle  of  the  last  few 
drops,  shaken  from  the  trees  by  a  passing 

gust that  one    saw    the   first  glittering  rays 

of  the  sun,  breaking  through  the  clouds. 

The  Count  hurried  across  the  room  in  great 
excitement.  "  I  cannot  remember  myself,"  he 
exclaimed,  "  of  the  name  of  this  so  charming 
an  air !  It  is  of  an  opera,  most  surely.  Yet 
not  even  will  the  opera  remind  his  name  to 
me  !  What  you  call  him,  dear  child  ?  " 

N 


178         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


Sylvie  looked  round  at  him  with  a  rapt  ex- 
pression of  face.  She  had  ceased  playing,  but 
her  fingers  still  wandered  fitfully  over  the  keys. 
All  fear  and  shyness  had  quite  passed  away 
now,  and  nothing  remained  but  the  pure  joy 
of  the  music  that  had  thrilled  our  hearts. 

"  The  title  of  it !  "  the  Count  repeated  im- 
patiently. "  How  call  you  the  opera  ? " 

"  I  don't  know  what  an  opera  -is,"  Sylvie 
half- whispered. 


xn]  FAIRY-MUSIC.  179 

"  How,  then,  call  you  the  air  ?  " 

"  I  don't  know  any  name  for  it,"  Sylvie 
replied,  as  she  rose  from  the  instrument. 

"  But  this  is  marvellous ! "  exclaimed  the 
Count,  following  the  child,  and  addressing 
himself  to  me,  as  if  I  were  the  proprietor  of 
this  musical  prodigy,  and  so  must  know  the 
origin  of  her  music.  "You  have  heard  her 

play  this,  sooner -I  would  say  '  before  this 

occasion '  ?  How  call  you  the  air  ?  " 

I  shook  my  head  ;  but  was  saved  from  more 
questions  by  Lady  Muriel,  who  came  up  to 
petition  the  Count  for  a  song. 

The  Count  spread  out  his  hands  apologeti- 
cally, and  ducked  his  head.  "  But,  Milady,  I 
have  already  respected 1  would  say  pro- 
spected  all  your  songs  ;  and  there  shall  be 

none  fitted  to  my  voice !  They  are  not  for 
basso  voices !  " 

"  Wo'n't  you  look  at  them  again  ?  "  Lady 
Muriel  implored. 

"  Let's  help  him  !  "  Bruno  whispered  to 
Sylvie.  "  Let's  get  him you  know  !  " 

Sylvie  nodded.  "  Shall  we  look  for  a  song 
for  you  ?  "  she  said  sweetly  to  the  Count. 

N    7. 


i8o         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"Mais  oui  I  "  the  little  man  exclaimed. 

"  Of  course  we  may  ! "  said  Bruno,  while, 
each  taking  a  hand  of  the  delighted  Count, 
they  led  him  to  the  music-stand. 

"  There  is  still  hope  !  "  said  Lady  Muriel 
over  her  shoulder,  as  she  followed  them. 

I  turned  to  '  Mein  Herr,'  hoping  to  resume 
our  interrupted  conversation.  "  You  were  re- 
marking— I  began  :  but  at  this  moment 
Sylvie  came  to  call  Bruno,  who  had  returned 
to  my  side,  looking  unusually  serious.  "  Do 
come,  Bruno  !  "  she  entreated.  "  You  knowr 
we've  nearly  found  it !  "  Then,  in  a  whisper, 
"  The  locket's  in  my  hand,  now.  I  couldn't 
get  it  out  while  they  were  looking ! " 

But  Bruno  drew  back.  "  The  man  called 
me  names,"  he  said  with  dignity. 

"  What  names  ?  "  I  enquired  with  some 
curiosity. 

"I  asked  him,"  said  Bruno,  "which  sort  of 
song  he  liked.  And  he  said  '  A  song  of  a 
man,  not  of  a  lady.'  And  I  said  '  Shall  Syl- 
vie and  me  find  you  the  song  of  Mister  Tot- 
ties  ?'  And  he  said  'Wait,  eel!'  And  I'm 
not  an  eel,  oo  know  !  " 


xn]  FAIRY-MUSIC.  181 

"  I'm  sure  he  didn't  mean  it !  "  Sylvie  said 

earnestly.       "It's     something     French you 

know  he  can't  talk  English  so  well  as— 

Bruno  relented  visibly.  "  Course  he  knows 
no  better,  if  he's  Flench  !  Flenchmen  never 
can  speak  English  so  goodly  as  us  !  "  And 
Sylvie  led  him  away,  a  willing  captive. 

"  Nice  children  ! "  said  the  old  man,  taking 
off  his  spectacles  and  rubbing  them  carefully. 
Then  he  put  them  on  again,  and  watched  with 
an  approving  smile,  while  the  children  tossed 
over  the  heap  of  music,  and  we  just  caught 
Sylvie's  reproving  words,  "  We're  not  making 
hay,  Bruno  !  " 

"This  has  been  a  long  interruption  to  our 
conversation,"  I  said.  "  Pray  let  us  go  on  !  " 

"  Willingly  !  "  replied  the  gentle  old  man. 
"  I  was  much  interested  in  what  you— 
He  paused  a  moment,  and  passed  his  hand 
uneasily  across  his  brow.  "  One  forgets,"  he 
murmured.  "  WThat  was  I  saying  ?  Oh  !  Some- 
thing you  were  to  tell  me.  Yes.  Which  of 
your  teachers  do  you  value  the  most  highly, 
those  whose  words  are  easily  understood,  or 
those  who  puzzle  you  at  every  turn  ?  " 


182          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO     CONCLUDED. 

I  felt  obliged  to  admit  that  we  generally 
admired  most  the  teachers  we  couldn't  quite 
understand. 

"  Just  so,"  said  Mein  Herr.  "  That's  the 
way  it  begins.  Well,  we  were  at  that  stage 

some  eighty  years  ago or  was  it  ninety  ?  Our 

favourite  teacher  got  more  obscure  every  year  ; 

and  every  year  we  admired  him  more just 

as  your  Art-fanciers  call  mist  the  fairest  feature 
in  a  landscape,  and  admire  a  view  with  frantic 
delight  when  they  can  see  nothing!  Now  I'll 
tell  you  how  it  ended.  It  was  Moral  Philosophy 
that  our  idol  lectured  on.  Well,  his  pupils 
couldn't  make  head  or  tail  of  it,  but  they  got 
it  all  by  heart ;  and,  when  Examination-time 
came,  they  wrote  it  down  ;  and  the  Examiners 
said  '  Beautiful !  What  depth  ! '  " 

"But  what  good  was  it  to  the  young  men 
afterwards  ?  " 

"  Why,  don't  you  see  ? "  replied  Mein  Herr. 
"  They  became  teachers  in  their  turn,  and  they 
said  all  these  things  over  again  ;  and  their 
pupils  wrote  it  all  down  ;  and  the  Examiners 
accepted  it ;  and  nobody  had  the  ghost  of  an 
idea  what  it  all  meant !  " 


xii]  FAIRY-MUSIC.  183 

"And  how  did  it  end?" 

"It  ended  this  way.  We  woke  up  one  fine 
day,  and  found  there  was  no  one  in  the  place 
that  knew  anything  about  Moral  Philosophy. 
So  we  abolished  it,  teachers,  classes,  examiners, 
and  all.  And  if  any  one  wanted  to  learn  any- 
thing about  it,  he  had  to  make  it  out  for 
himself;  and  after  another  twenty  years  or  so 
there  were  several  men  that  really  knew  some- 
thing about  it !  Now  tell  me  another  thing. 
How  long  do  you  teach  a  youth  before  you 
examine  him,  in  your  Universities  ?  " 

I  told  him,  three  or  four  years. 

"  Just  so,  just  what  we  did  ! "  he  exclaimed. 
"  We  taught  'em  a  bit,  and,  just  as  they  were 
beginning  to  take  it  in,  we  took  it  all  out  again ! 
We  pumped  our  wells  dry  before  they  were  a 

quarter  full we  stripped  our  orchards  while 

the  apples  were  still  in  blossom we  applied 

the  severe  logic  of  arithmetic  to  our  chickens, 
while  peacefully  slumbering  in  their  shells ! 
Doubtless  it's  the  early  bird  that  picks  up  the 

worm but  if  the  bird  gets  up  so  outrageously 

early  that  the  worm  is  still  deep  underground, 
what  then  is  its  chance  of  a  breakfast  ?  " 


184         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Not  much,  I  admitted. 

"  Now  see  how  that  works  !  "  he  went  on 
eagerly.  "If  you  want  to  pump  your  wells 

so  soon and  I  suppose  you  tell  me  that  is 

what  you  must  do  ?  " 

"  We  must,"  I  said.  "  In  an  over-crowded 
country  like  this,  nothing  but  Competitive 
Examinations— 

Mein  Herr  threw  up  his  hands  wildly. 
"What,  again  ?"  he  cried.  "  I  thought  it  was 
dead,  fifty  years  ago !  Oh  this  Upas-tree  of 
Competitive  Examinations  !  Beneath  whose 
deadly  shade  all  the  original  genius,  all  the 
exhaustive  research,  all  the  untiring  life-long 
diligence  by  which  our  fore-fathers  have  so 
advanced  human  knowledge,  must  slowly  but 
surely  wither  away,  and  give  place  to  a  sys- 
tem of  Cookery,  in  which  the  human  mind  is 
a  sausage,  and  all  we  ask  is,  how  much  indigest- 
ible stuff  can  be  crammed  into  it !  " 

Always,  after  these  bursts  of  eloquence,  he 
seemed  to  forget  himself  for  a  moment,  and 
only  to  hold  on  to  the  thread  of  thought  by 
some  single  word.  "  Yes,  crammed,"  he  re- 
peated. "We  went  through  all  that  stage  of 


XII]  FAIRY-MUSIC.  185 

the  disease had  it  bad,  I  warrant  you  !  Of 

course,  as  the  Examination  was  all  in  all,  we 

tried  to  put  in  just  what  was  wanted and  the 

great  thing  to  aim  at  was,  that  the  Candidate 
should  know  absolutely  nothing  beyond  the 
needs  of  the  Examination !  I  don't  say  it  was 
ever  quite  achieved  :  but  one  of  my  own  pupils 
(pardon  an  old  man's  egotism)  came  very  near 
it.  After  the  Examination,  he  mentioned  to 
me  the  few  facts  which  he  knew  but  had  not 
been  able  to  bring  in,  and  I  can  assure  you 
they  were  trivial,  Sir,  absolutely  trivial ! " 

I  feebly  expressed  my  surprise  and  delight. 

The  old  man  bowed,  with  a  gratified  smile, 
and  proceeded.  "  At  that  time,  no  one  had 
hit  on  the  much  more  rational  plan  of  watch- 
ing for  the  individual  scintillations  of  genius, 
and  rewarding  them  as  they  occurred.  As  it 
was,  we  made  our  unfortunate  pupil  into  a 

Leyden-jar,  charged  him  up  to  the  eyelids 

then  applied  the  knob  of  a  Competitive  Ex- 
amination, and  drew  off  one  magnificent  spark, 
which  very  often  cracked  the  jar !  What 
mattered  that  ?  We  labeled  it  '  First  Class 
Spark,'  and  put  it  away  on  the  shelf." 


186         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED 

"  But  the  more  rational  system—  -  ? "  I 
suggested. 

"Ah,  yes!  that  came  next.  Instead  of 
giving  the  whole  reward  of  learning  in  one 
lump,  we  used  to  pay  for  every  good  answer  as 
it  occurred.  How  well  I  remember  lecturing 
in  those  days,  with  a  heap  of  small  coins  at  my 
elbow!  It  was  'A  very  good  answer,  Mr. 
Jones ! '  (that  meant  a  shilling,  mostly).  '  Bravo, 
Mr.  Robinson ! '  (that  meant  half-a-crown). 
Now  I'll  tell  you  how  that  worked.  Not  one 
single  fact  would  any  of  them  take  in,  without 
a  fee  !  And  when  a  clever  boy  came  up  from 
school,  he  got  paid  more  for  learning  than  we 
got  paid  for  teaching  him !  Then  came  the 
wildest  craze  of  all." 

"  What,  another  craze  ?  "  I  said. 

"It's  the  last  one,"  said  the  old  man.  "  I 
must  have  tired  you  out  with  my  long  story. 
Each  College  wanted  to  get  the  clever  boys : 
so  we  adopted  a  system  which  we  had  heard 
was  very  popular  in  England :  the  Colleges 
competed  against  each  other,  and  the  boys 
let  themselves  out  to  the  highest  bidder ! 
What  geese  we  were !  Why,  they  were  bound 


xil]  FAIRY-MUSIC.  187 

to  come  to  the  University  somehow.  We 
needn't  have  paid  'em !  And  all  our  money 
went  in  getting  clever  boys  to  come  to  one 
College  rather  than  another !  The  competition 
was  so  keen,  that  at  last  mere  money-payments 
were  not  enough.  Any  College,  that  wished 
to  secure  some  specially  clever  young  man, 
had  to  waylay  him  at  the  Station,  and  hunt 
him  through  the  streets.  The  first  who 
touched  him  was  allowed  to  have  him." 

"  That  hunting-down  of  the  scholars,  as  they 
arrived,  must  have  been  a  curious  business," 
I  said.  "  Could  you  give  me  some  idea  of 
what  it  was  like  ? " 

"  Willingly !  "  said  the  old  man.  "  I  will 
describe  to  you  the  very  last  Hunt  that  took 
place,  before  that  form  of  Sport  (for  it  was 
actually  reckoned  among  the  Sports  of  the 
day:  we  called  it  'Cub-Hunting')  was  finally 
abandoned.  1  witnessed  it  myself,  as  I  hap- 
pened to  be  passing  by  at  the  moment,  and 
was  what  we  called  '  in  at  the  death.'  I  can 
see  it  now !  "  he  went  on  in  an  excited  tone, 
gazing  into  vacancy  with  those  large  dreamy 
eyes  of  his.  "It  seems  like  yesterday ;  and 


1 88 


SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


yet   it     happened—  He    checked    himself 

hastily,   and  the    remaining   words   died    away 
into  a  whisper. 


"How  many  years  ago  did  you  say?"  I 
asked,  much  interested  in  the  prospect  of  at 
last  learning  some  definite  fact  in  his  history. 

"  Many  years  ago,"  he  replied.  "  The  scene 
at  the  Railway-Station  had  been  (so  they  told 
me)  one  of  wild  excitement.  Eight  or  nine 
Heads  of  Colleges  had  assembled  at  the  gates 
(no  one  was  allowed  inside),  and  the  Station- 
Master  had  drawn  a  line  on  the  pavement, 
and  insisted  on  their  all  standing  behind  it. 


XII] 


FAIRY-MUSIC. 


189 


The  gates  were  flung  open  !  The  young  man 
darted  through  them,  and  fled  like  lightning 
down  the  street,  while  the  Heads  of  Colleges 
actually  yelled  with  excitement  on  catching 
sight  of  him  !  The  Proctor  gave  the  word, 
in  the  old  statutory  form,  '  Seme  I !  Bis  !  Ter  ! 
Currite!\  and  the  Hunt  began!  Oh,  it  was 
a  fine  sight,  believe  me !  At  the  first  corner 
he  dropped  his  Greek  Lexicon  :  further  on, 
his  railway-rug :  then  various  small  articles  : 


I9o          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

then  his  umbrella :  lastly,  what  I  suppose  he 
prized  most,  his  hand-bag  :  but  the  game  was 
up  :  the  spherical  Principal  of—  -  of— 

"Of  which  College?"   I   said. 

— of  one   of  the  Colleges,"  he    resumed, 

"had  put  into  operation  the  Theory his  own 

discovery of  Accelerated  Velocity,  and  cap- 
tured him  just  opposite  to  where  I  stood.  I 
shall  never  forget  that  wild  breathless  struggle ! 
But  it  was  soon  over.  Once  in  those  great 
bony  hands,  escape  was  impossible ! " 

"  May  I  ask  why  you  speak  of  him  as  the 
' spherical'  Principal?"  I  said. 

"  The  epithet  referred  to  his  shape,  which 
was  a  perfect  sphere.  You  are  aware  that 
a  bullet,  another  instance  of  a  perfect  sphere, 
when  falling  in  a  perfectly  straight  line,  moves 
with  Accelerated  Velocity  ?  " 

I  bowed  assent. 

"  Well,  my  spherical  friend  (as  I  am  proud 
to  call  him)  set  himself  to  investigate  the 
causes  of  this.  He  found  them  to  be  three. 
One  ;  that  it  is  a  perfect  sphere.  Two ;  that 
it  moves  in  a  straight  line.  Three  ;  that  its 
direction  is  not  upwards.  When  these  three 


xn]  FAIRY-MUSIC.  191 

conditions    are    fulfilled,    you    get    Accelerated 
Velocity." 

"  Hardly,"  I  said  :  "'  if  you  will  excuse  my 
differing  from  you.  Suppose  we  apply  the 
theory  to  horizontal  motion.  If  a  bullet  is 
fired  horizontally,  it— 

-  it  does  not  move  in   a  straight  line" 
he  quietly  finished  my  sentence  for  me. 

"  I  yield  the  point,"  I  said.  "  What  did 
your  friend  do  next  ? " 

"  The  next  thing  was  to  apply  the  theory, 
as  you  rightly  suggest,  to  horizontal  motion. 
But  the  moving  body,  ever  tending  to  fall, 
needs  constant  support,  if  it  is  to  move  in  a 
true  horizontal  line.  '  What,  then/  he  asked 
himself,  '  will  give  constant  support  to  a  mov- 
ing body  ? '  And  his  answer  was  '  Human 
legs  ! '  That  was  the  discovery  that  immor- 
talised his  name ! " 

"  His  name  being ?  "   I  suggested. 

"  I  had  not  mentioned  it,"  was  the  gentle 
reply  of  my  most  unsatisfactory  informant. 
"  His  next  step  was  an  obvious  one.  He 
took  to  a  diet  of  suet-dumplings,  until  his 
body  had  become  a  perfect  sphere.  Then 


192          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

he  went  out  for  his  first  experimental  run 
which  nearly  cost  him  his  life  !  " 
"  How  was 


"  Well,  you  see,  he  had  no  idea  of  the  tre- 
mendoiis  new  Force  in  Nature  that  he  was 
calling  into  play.  He  began  too  fast.  In  a 
very  few  minutes  he  found  himself  moving  at 
a  hundred  miles  an  hour  !  And,  if  he  had 
not  had  the  presence  of  mind  to  charge  into 
the  middle  of  a  haystack  (which  he  scattered 
to  the  four  winds)  there  can  be  no  doubt  that 
he  would  have  left  the  Planet  he  belonged  to, 
and  gone  right  away  into  Space  !  " 

"  And  how  came  that  to  be  the  last  of  the 
Cub-  Hunts?"  I  enquired. 

"  Well,  you  see,  it  led  to  a  rather  scandal- 
ous dispute  between  two  of  the  Colleges. 
Another  Principal  had  laid  his  hand  on  the 
young  man,  so  nearly  at  the  same  moment 
as  the  spherical  one,  that  there  was  no  know- 
ing which  had  touched  him  first.  The  dispute 
got  into  print,  and  did  us  no  credit,  and,  in 
short,  Cub-  Hunts  came  to  an  end.  Now  I'll 
tell  you  what  cured  us  of  that  wild  craze  of 
ours,  the  bidding  against  each  other,  for  the 


xil]  FAIRY-MUSIC.  193 

clever  scholars,  just  as  if  they  were  articles 
to  be  sold  by  auction  !  Just  when  the  craze 
had  reached  its  highest  point,  and  when  one 
of  the  Colleges  had  actually  advertised  a 
Scholarship  of  one  thousand  pounds  per 
annum,  one  of  our  tourists  brought  us  the 

manuscript    of     an    old     African     legend 1 

happen  to  have  a  copy  of  it  in  my  pocket. 
Shall  I  translate  it  for  you  ? " 

"  Pray  go  on,"   I  said,  though  I  felt  I  was 
getting  very  sleepy. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

WHAT     TOTTLES     MEANT. 

MEIN  Herr  unrolled  the  manuscript,  but,  to 
my  great  surprise,  instead  of  reading  it,  he 
began  to  sing  it,  in  a  rich  mellow  voice  that 
seemed  to  ring  through  the  room. 

"  One  thousand  pounds  per  annuum 

Is  not  so  bad  a  figure,  come  !  " 

Cried  Tattles.     "And  I  tell  you,  flat, 

A  man  may  marry  well  on  that ! 

To  say  '  the  Husband  needs  the   Wife ' 

Is  not  the  way  to  represent  it. 

The  crowning  joy  of  Woman  s  life 

Is  Man  ! "  said  J^ottles  (and  he  meant  it}. 


xin]  WHAT    TOTTLES    MEANT.  195 

The  blissful  Honey-moon  is  past  : 
The  Pair  have  settled  down  at  last : 

Mamma-in-laiv  their  home  zvill  share, 

And  make  their  happiness  her  care. 

"  Your  income  is  an  ample  one  ; 

Go  if,  my  children!"     (And  they  went  if). 

"I  rayther  think  this  kind  of  fun 

Wont  last!"  said  Tottles  (and  lie  meant  if). 


They  took  a  little  country-box- 


A  box  at  Covent  Garden  also: 

They  lived  a  life  of  double-knocks, 

Acquaintances  began  to  call  so ; 

Their  London  house  zvas  much  the  same 

(It  took  three  hundred,  clear,  to  rent  if): 

"  Life  is  a  very  jolly  game  !  " 

Cried  happy   Tottles  (and  he  meant  if). 


'  Contented  with  a  frugal  lot ' 
(He  always  used  that  phrase  at  Gunters), 
He  bought  a  handy  little  yacht — 
A  dozen  serviceable  Jmnters — 
The  fishing  of  a  Highland  Loch — 
A  sailing-boat  to  circumvent  it — 
"  The  sounding-  of  that  Gaelic  '  och ' 
Beats  me ! "  said  Tottles  (and  he  meant  if)." 

O   2 


196         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Here,  with  one  of  those  convulsive  starts 
that  wake  one  up  in  the  very  act  of  dropping 
off  to  sleep,  I  became  conscious  that  the  deep 
musical  tones  that  thrilled  me  did  not  belong 
to  Mein  Herr,  but  to  the  French  Count.  The 
old  man  was  still  conning  the  manuscript. 

"  I  beg  your  pardon  for  keeping  you  wait- 
ing!" he  said.  "  I  was  just  making  sure  that 
I  knew  the  English  for  all  the  words.  I  am 
quite  ready  now."  And  he  read  me  the  fol- 
lowing Legend  :— 

"  In  a  city  that  stands  in   the  very  centre 
of  Africa,  and   is  rarely  visited  by  the  casual 
tourist,  the  people  had  always  bought  eggs— 
a  daily  necessary  in  a  climate  where  egg-flip 

was  the   usual  diet from   a  Merchant   who 

came  to  their  gates  once  a  week.  And  the 
people  always  bid  wildly  against  each  other  : 
so  there  was  quite  a  lively  auction  every  time 
the  Merchant  came,  and  the  last  egg  in  his 
basket  used  to  fetch  the  value  of  two  or  three 
camels,  or  thereabouts.  And  eggs  got  dearer 
every  week.  And  still  they  drank  their  egg- 
flip,  and  wondered  where  all  their  money 
went  to. 


XIII] 


WHAT    TOTTLES    MEANT 


197 


"  And  there  came  a  day  when  they  put  their 
heads  together.  And  they  understood  what 
donkeys  they  had  been. 

"And  next  day,  when  the  Merchant  came, 
only  one  Man  went  forth.  And  he  said  '  Oh, 
thou  of  the  hook-nose  and  the  goggle-eyes, 
thou  of  the  measureless  beard,  how  much  for 
that  lot  of  eggs  ? ' 


198         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  And  the  Merchant  answered  him  '  I  could 
let  thee  have  that  lot  at  ten  thousand  piastres 
the  dozen.' 

"And  the  Man  chuckled  inwardly,  and  said 
'  Ten  piastres  the  dozen  I  offer  thee,  and  no 
more,  oh  descendant  of  a  distinguished  grand- 
father ! ' 

"And  the  Merchant  stroked  his  beard,  and 
said  '  Hum  !  I  will  await  the  coming  of  thy 
friends.'  So  he  waited.  And  the  Man  waited 
with  him.  And  they  waited  both  together." 

"  The  manuscript  breaks  off  here,"  said 
Mein  Herr,  as  he  rolled  it  up  again;  "but 
it  was  enough  to  open  our  eyes.  We  saw 

what   simpletons    we    had   been buying   our 

Scholars     much    as    those     ignorant    savages 

bought  their  eggs and    the   ruinous  system 

was  abandoned.  If  only  we  could  have  aban- 
doned, along  with  it,  all  the  other  fashions  we 
had  borrowed  from  you,  instead  of  carrying 
them  to  their  logical  results !  But  it  was  not 
to  be.  What  ruined  my  country,  and  drove 
me  from  my  home,  was  the  introduction— 

into  the  Army,  of  all  places of  your  theory 

of   Political  Dichotomy  !  " 


xin]  WHAT    TOTTLES    MEANT,  199 

"Shall  I  trouble  you  too  much,"  I  said,  "if 
I  ask  you  to  explain  what  you  mean  by  '  the 
Theory  of  Political  Dichotomy  '  ?  " 

"  No  trouble  at  all !  "  was  Mein  Herr's  most 
courteous  reply.  "  I  quite  enjoy  talking,  when 
I  get  so  good  a  listener.  What  started  the 
thing,  with  us,  was  the  report  brought  to  us, 
by  one  of  our  most  eminent  statesmen,  who 
had  stayed  some  time  in  England,  of  the  way 
affairs  were  managed  there.  It  was  a  political 
necessity  (so  he  assured  us,  and  we  believed 
him,  though  we  had  never  discovered  it  till 
that  moment)  that  there  should  be  two  Parties, 
in  every  affair  and  on  every  subject.  In 
Politics,  the  two  Parties,  which  you  had  found 
it  necessary  to  institute,  were  called,  he  told 
us,  '  Whigs '  and  '  Tories '." 

"  That  must  have  been  some  time  ago  ?  " 
I  remarked. 

"  It  was  some  time  ago,"  he  admitted. 
"And  this  was  the  way  the  affairs  of  the 
British  Nation  were  managed.  (You  will 
correct  me  if  I  misrepresent  it.  I  do  but 
repeat  what  our  traveler  told  us.)  These 
two  Parties which  were  in  chronic  hostility 


200         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

to  each  other took  turns  in  conducting  the 

Government ;  and  the  Party,  that  happened 
not  to  be  in  power,  was  called  the  '  Opposition', 
I  believe  ? " 

"  That  is  the  right  name,"  I  said.  "  There 
have  always  been,  so  long  as  we  have  had  a 
Parliament  at  all,  two  Parties,  one  '  in ',  and 
one  'out'." 

"Well,  the  function  of  the  'Ins'  (if  I  may 
so  call  them)  was  to  do  the  best  they  could 

for  the  national  welfare in  such  things  as 

making  war  or  peace,  commercial  treaties,  and 
so  forth  ? " 

((  Undoubtedly,"  I  said. 

"And  the  function  of  the  'Outs'  was  (so 
our  traveller  assured  us,  though  we  were  very 
incredulous  at  first)  to  prevent  the  '  Ins '  from 
succeeding  in  any  of  these  things  ? " 

"  To  criticize  and  to  amend  their  proceed- 
ings," I  corrected  him.  "It  would  be  un- 
patriotic to  hinder  the  Government  in  doing 
what  was  for  the  good  of  the  Nation  !  We 
have  always  held  a  Patriot  to  be  the  greatest 
of  heroes,  and  an  unpatriotic  spirit  to  be  one 
of  the  worst  of  human  ills ! " 


xni]  WHAT    TOTTLES    MEANT.  201 

"Excuse  me  for  a  moment,"  the  old  gentle- 
man courteously  replied,  taking  out  his  pocket- 
book.  "  I  have  a  few  memoranda  here,  of  a 
correspondence  I  had  with  our  tourist,  and, 
if  you  will  allow  me,  I'll  just  refresh  my  mem- 
ory  although  I  quite  agree  with  you it 

is,    as   you    say,   one  of  the  worst  of  human 
ills—  And,  here  Mein  Herr  began  singing 

again  : 

But  oh,  the  worst  of  human  ills 
(Poor  Tottles  found}  are  '  little  bills '  ! 
And,  with  no  balance  in  the  Bank, 
What  wonder  that  his  spirits  sank? 
Still,  as  the  money  flozved  away, 
He  wondered  how  on  earth  she  spent  it, 
"  You  cost  me  tiventy  pounds  a  day, 
At  least ! "  cried  Tottles  (and  he  meant  it]. 


Slie  sighed.    "  TJwse  Draiving  Rooms,  you  know! 
I  really  never  thought  about  it : 
Mamma  declared  we  ought  to  go — 
We  should  be  Nobodies  without  it. 
That  diamond-circlet  for  my  brow 


/  quite  believed  that  she  had  sent  it, 
Until  tJie  Bill  came  in  just  noiv — 
"Viper!"  cried  Tottles  (and  Jie  meant  it}. 


202          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Poor  Mrs,   T.  could  bear  no  more, 

But  fainted  flat  upon  the  floor. 

Mamma-in-laiv,  with  anguish  wild, 

Seeks,  all  in  vain,  to  rouse  her  child. 

"  Quick  !     Take  this  box  of  smelling-salts  ! 

Dont  scold  her,  James,  or  you'll  repent  it, 

She's  a  dear  girl,  with  all  her  fait  Its — 

"  She  is  !  "  groaned  Tattles    (and  he  meant  it]. 

"  I  was  a  donkey"   Tottles  cried, 

"  To  choose  your  daughter  for  my  bride  ! 

'  Twas  you  that  bid  us  cut  a  dash  ! 

'  Tis  you  have  brougJtt  us  to  this  smash  ! 

You  don't  suggest  one  single  thing 

That  can  in  any  ivay  prevent  it — - 

Then  whafs  the  use  of  arguing? 

Shut  up ! "  cried  Tottles  (and  he  meant  it}. 

Once  more  I  started  into  wakefulness,  and 
realised  that  Mein  Herr  was  not  the  singer. 
He  was  still  consulting  his  memoranda. 

"  It  is  exactly  what  my  friend  told  me,"  he 
resumed,  after  conning  over  various  papers. 
"'Unpatriotic'  is  the  very  word  I  had  used, 
in  writing  to  him,  and  ''hinder'  is  the  very 
word  he  used  in  his  reply !  Allow  me  to  read 
you  a  portion  of  his  letter  :— 


xin]  WHAT    TOTTLES    MEANT.  203 

"'/  can  assure  you'  he  writes,  'that,  un- 
patriotic as  yoit  may  think  it,  the  recognised 
function  of  the  '  Opposition '  is  to  hinder,  in 
every  manner  not  forbidden  by  the  Law,  the 
action  of  the  Government.  This  process  is 
called  '  Legitimate  Obstruction  ' :  and  the  great- 
est triumph  the  '  Opposition '  can  ever  enjoy, 
is  when  they  are  able  to  point  out  that,  owing 
to  their  '  Obstruction ',  the  Government  have 
failed  in  everything  they  have  tried  to  do  for 
the  good  of  the  Nation  ! ' 

"  Your  friend  has  not  put  it  quite  correctly," 
I  said.  "The  Opposition  would  no  doubt  be 
glad  to  point  out  that  the  Government  had 
failed  through  their  own  fault ;  but  not  that 
they  had  failed  on  account  of  Obstruction  ! " 

"  You  think  so  ?"  he  gently  replied.  "  Allow 
me  now  to  read  to  you  this  newspaper-cutting, 
which  my  friend  enclosed  in  his  letter.  It  is 
part  of  the  report  of  a  public  speech,  made 
by  a  Statesman  who  was  at  the  time  a  mem- 
ber of  the  '  Opposition  '  :— 

"  '  At  the  close  of  the  Session,  he  thought 
they  had  no  reason  to  be  discontented  with  the 


204          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

fortunes  of  the  campaign.  They  had  routed 
the  enemy  at  every  point.  But  the  pursuit 
must  be  continued.  They  had  only  to  follow 
up  a  disordered  and  dispirited  foe. ' ' 

"  Now  to  what  portion  of  your  national 
history  would  you  guess  that  the  speaker 
was  referring  ? " 

"  Really,  the  number  of  successful  wars  we 
have  waged  during  the  last  century,"  I  replied, 
with  a  glow  of  British  pride,  "  is  far  too  great 
for  me  to  guess,  with  any  chance  of  success, 
which  it  was  we  were  then  engaged  in.  How- 
ever, I  will  name  '  India '  as  the  most  prob- 
able. The  Mutiny  was  no  doubt,  all  but 
crushed,  at  the  time  that  speech  was  made. 
What  a  fine,  manly,  patriotic  speech  it  must 
have  been ! "  I  exclaimed  in  an  outburst 
of  enthusiasm. 

"  You  think  so  ? "  he  replied,  in  a  tone  of 
gentle  pity.  "  Yet  my  friend  tells  me  that 
the  '  disordered  and  dispirited  foe '  simply 
meant  the  Statesmen  who  happened  to  be  in 
power  at  the  moment ;  that  the  'pursuit ' 
simply  meant  '  Obstruction '  ;  and  that  the 


xin]  WHAT    TOTTLES    MEANT.  205 

words  '  they  had  routed  the  enemy '  simply 
meant  that  the  '  Opposition '  had  succeeded  in 
hindering  the  Government  from  doing  any  of 
the  work  which  the  Nation  had  empowered 
them  to  do!" 

I  thought  it  best  to  say  nothing. 

"  It  seemed  queer  to  MS,  just  at  first,"  he 
resumed,  after  courteously  waiting  a  minute 
for  me  to  speak  :  "  but,  when  once  we  had  mas- 
tered the  idea,  our  respect  for  your  Nation 
was  so  great  that  we  carried  it  into  every 
department  of  life  !  It  was  '  the  beginning  of 
the  end"  with  us.  My  country  never  held  up 
its  head  again  ! "  And  the  poor  old  gentleman 
sighed  deeply. 

"  Let  us  change  the  subject,"  I  said.  "  Do 
not  distress  yourself,  I  beg  !  " 

"  No,  no  !  "  he  said,  with  an  effort  to  recover 
himself.  "  I  had  rather  finish  my  story  !  The 
next  step  (after  reducing  our  Government  to 
impotence,  and  putting  a  stop  to  all  useful 
legislation,  which  did  not  take  us  long  to  do) 
was  to  introduce  what  we  called  '  the  glorious 
British  Principle  of  Dichotomy '  into  Agricul- 
ture, We  persuaded  many  of  the  well-to-do 


206         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

farmers  to  divide  their  staff  of  labourers  into 
two  Parties,  and  to  set  them  one  against  the 
other.  They  were  called,  like  our  political 
Parties,  the  'Ins'  and  the  'Outs'  :  the  business 
of  the  'Ins'  was  to  do  as  much  of  ploughing, 
sowing,  or  whatever  might  be  needed,  as  they 
could  manage  in  a  day,  and  at  night  they  were 
paid  according  to  the  amount  they  had  done : 
the  business  of  the  '  Outs  '  was  to  hinder  them, 
and  they  were  paid  for  the  amount  they  had 
hindered.  The  farmers  found  they  had  to  pay 
only  half  as  much  wages  as  they  did  before, 
and  they  didn't  observe  that  the  amount  of 
work  done  was  only  a  quarter  as  much  as  was 
done  before:  so  they  took  it  up  quite  enthu- 
siastically, at  first" 

"  And  afterwards—    -  ?  "   I  enquired. 

"Well,  afterwards  they  didn't  like  it  quite 
so  well.  In  a  very  short  time,  things  settled 
down  into  a  regular  routine.  No  work  at  all 
was  done.  So  the  '  Ins  '  got  no  wages,  and 
the  '  Outs '  got  full  pay.  And  the  farmers 
never  discovered,  till  most  of  them  were 
ruined,  that  the  rascals  had  agreed  to  manage 
it  so,  and  had  shared  the  pay  between  them  ! 


xin]  WHAT    TOTTLES    MEANT.  207 

While  the  thing  lasted,  there  were  funny  sights 
to  be  seen  !  Why,  I've  often  watched  a 
ploughman,  with  two  horses  harnessed  to  the 
plough,  doing  his  best  to  get  it  forwards;  while 
the  opposition-ploughman,  with  three  donkeys 
harnessed  at  the  other  end,  was  doing  his  best 
to  get  it  backwards  !  And  the  plough  never 
moving  an  inch,  either  way  !  " 

"  But  we  never  did  anything  like  that!"  I 
exclaimed. 

"  Simply  because  you  were  less  logical  than 
we  were,"  replied  Mein  Herr  ".There  is 

sometimes  an  advantage  in  being  a  donk 

Excuse  me !  No  personal  allusion  intended. 
All  this  happened  long  ago,  you  know  ! " 

"  Did  the  Dichotomy-Principle  succeed  in 
any  direction  ?  "  I  enquired. 

"  In  none,"  Mein  Herr  candidly  confessed. 
"  It  had  a  very  short  trial  in  Commerce.  The 
shop-keepers  wouldn't  take  it  up,  after  once 
trying  the  plan  of  having  half  the  attendants 
busy  in  folding  up  and  carrying  away  the 
goods  which  the  other  half  were  trying  to 
spread  out  upon  the  counters.  They  said  the 
Public  didn't  like  it !  " 


208         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  I  don't  wonder  at  it,"  I  remarked. 

"  Well,  we  tried  '  the   British   Principle  '  for 

some  years.     And  the  end  of  it  all    was " 

His  voice  suddenly  dropped,  almost  to  a 
whisper ;  and  large  tears  began  to  roll  down 
his  cheeks.  " the  end  was  that  we  got  in- 
volved in  a  war ;  and  there  was  a  great  battle, 
in  which  we  far  out-numbered  the  enemy. 
But  what  could  one  expect,  when  only  half  of 
our  soldiers  were  fighting,  and  the  other  half 
pulling  them  back  ?  It  ended  in  a  crushing 
defeat an  utter  rout.  This  caused  a  Revolu- 
tion ;  and  most  of  the  Government  were 
banished.  I  myself  was  accused  of  Treason, 
for  having  so  strongly  advocated  '  the  British 
Principle.'  My  property  was  all  forfeited, 

and and 1  was  driven  into  exile!     '  Now 

the  mischief's  done,'  they  said,  '  perhaps  you'll 
kindly  leave  the  country  ? '  It  nearly  broke 
my  heart,  but  I  had  to  go  ! " 

The    melancholy   tone   became    a  wail  :  the 
wail    became    a    chant :    the    chant    became  a 

song though  whether  it  was  Mein  Herr  that 

was  singing,  this  time,  or  somebody  else,  I 
could  not  feel  certain. 


xin]  WHAT    TOTTLES    MEANT.  209 

"And,  now  the  mischiefs  done,  perhaps 
You'll  kindly  go  and  pack  your  traps  ? 
Since  two  (your  daughter  and  your  son} 
Are  Company,  but  three  are  none. 
A  course  of  saving  we'll  begin  : 
When  change  is  needed,  I'll  invent  it: 
Don't  think  to  put  your  finger  in 
This  pie  ! "  cried  Tattles  (and  he  meant  if). 

The  music  seemed  to  die  away.  Mein  Herr 
was  again  speaking  in  his  ordinary  voice. 
"  Now  tell  me  one  thing  more,"  he  said.  "  Am 
I  right  in  thinking  that  in  your  Universities, 
though  a  man  may  reside  some  thirty  or  forty 
years,  you  examine  him,  once  for  all,  at  the 
end  of  the  first  three  or  four  ?  " 

"  That  is  so,  undoubtedly,"  I  admitted. 

"  Practically,  then,  you  examine  a  man  at  the 
beginning  of  his  career !  "  the  old  man  said 
to  himself  rather  than  to  me.  "  And  what 
guarantee  have  you  that  he  retains  the  know- 
ledge for  which  you  have  rewarded  him— 
beforehand,  as  we  should  say  ? " 

"  None,"  I  admitted,  feeling  a  little  puzzled 
at  the  drift  of  his  remarks.  <(  How  do  you 
secure  that  object  ?  " 

p 


210          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  By  examining  him  at  the  end  of  his  thirty 

or  forty  years not  at  the  beginning,"  he 

gently  replied.  "  On  an  average,  the  know- 
ledge then  found  is  about  one-fifth  of  what 

it  was  at  first the  process  of  forgetting 

going  on  at  a  very  steady  uniform  rate and 

he,  who  forgets  least,  gets  most  honour,  and 
most  rewards." 

"  Then  you  give  him  the  money  when  he 
needs  it  no  longer  ?  And  you  make  him  live 
most  of  his  life  on  nothing !  " 

"  Hardly  that.  He  gives  his  orders  to  the 
tradesmen :  they  supply  him,  for  forty,  some- 
times fifty,  years,  at  their  own  risk  :  then  he 

gets  his  Fellowship which  pays  him  in  one 

year  as  much  as  your  Fellowships  pay  in  fifty 

—and  then  he  can  easily  pay  all  his  bills, 
with  interest." 

"  But  suppose  he  fails  to  get  his  Fellowship  ? 
That  must  occasionally  happen." 

"  That  occasionally  happens."  It  was  Mein 
Herr's  turn,  now,  to  make  admissions. 

"  And  what  becomes  of  the  tradesmen  ?" 

"  They  calculate  accordingly.  When  a  man 
appears  to  be  getting  alarmingly  ignorant,  or 


xill]  WHAT    TOTTLES    MEANT.  211 

stupid,  they  will  sometimes  refuse  to  supply 
him  any  longer.  You  have  no  idea  with  what 
enthusiasm  a  man  will  begin  to  rub  up  his 
forgotten  sciences  or  languages,  when  his 
butcher  has  cut  off  the  supply  of  beef  and 
mutton ! " 

"  And  who  are  the  Examiners  ? " 

"  The  young  men  who  have  just  come, 
brimming  over  with  knowledge.  You  would 
think  it  a  curious  sight,"  he  went  on,  "  to 
see  mere  boys  examining  such  old  men.  I 
have  known  a  man  set  to  examine  his  own 
grandfather.  It  was  a  little  painful  for  both 
of  them,  no  doubt.  The  old  gentleman  was 
as  bald  as  a  coot— 

"  How  bald  would  that  be?"  I've  no  idea 
why  I  asked  this  question.  I  felt  I  was  getting 
foolish. 


CHAPTER   XIV 

BRUNO'S  PICNIC. 

"  As  bald  as  bald,"  was  the  bewildering 
reply.  "  Now,  Bruno,  I'll  tell  you  a  story." 

"And  I'll  tell  oo  a  story,"  said  Bruno,  begin- 
ning in  a  great  hurry  for  fear  of  Sylvie  getting 
the  start  of  him  :  "  once  there  were  a  Mouse— 

a  little  tiny  Mouse such  a  tiny  little  Mouse  ! 

Oo  never  saw  such  a  tiny  Mouse— 

"  Did  nothing  ever  happen  to  it,  Bruno  ?  "  I 
asked.  "  Haven't  you  anything  more  to  tell 
us,  besides  its  being  so  tiny  ?  " 

"  Nothing  never  happened  to  it,"  Bruno 
solemnly  replied. 


xiv]  BRUNO'S    PICNIC.  213 

"  Why  did  nothing  never  happen  to  it  ?  "  said 
Sylvie,  who  was  sitting,  with  her  head  on 
Bruno's  shoulder,  patiently  waiting  for  a  chance 
of  beginning  her  story. 

"  It  were  too  tiny,"  Bruno  explained. 

''That's  no  reason!"  I  said.  "However 
tiny  it  was,  things  might  happen  to  it." 

Bruno  looked  pityingly  at  me,  as  if  he  thought 
me  very  stupid.    "It  were  too  tiny,"  he  repeated. 
"  If  anything  happened  to  it,  it  would  die- 
it  were  so  very  tiny  !  " 

"  Really  that's  enough  about  its  being  tiny  !  " 
Sylvie  put  in.  "  Haven't  you  invented  any  more 
about  it  ?  " 

"  Haven't  invented  no  more  yet." 

"  Well  then,  you  shouldn't  begin  a  story  till 
you've  invented  more  !  Now  be  quiet,  there's 
a  good  boy,  and  listen  to  my  story." 

And  Bruno,  having  quite  exhausted  all  his 
inventive  faculty,  by  beginning  in  too  great 
a  hurry,  quietly  resigned  himself  to  listening. 
"  Tell  about  the  other  Bruno,  please,"  he  said 
coaxingly. 

Sylvie  put  her  arms  round  his  neck,  and 
began  :— 


214         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  The  wind  was  whispering  among  the  trees," 
("That  wasn't  good  manners!"  Bruno  in- 
terrupted. "  Never  mind  about  manners/''  said 

Sylvie)  "  and  it  was  evening a  nice  moony 

evening,  and  the  Owls  were  hooting— 

"  Pretend  they  weren't  Owls!  "  Bruno  pleaded, 
stroking  her  cheek  with  his  fat  little  hand.  "  I 
don't  like  Owls.  Owls  have  such  great  big  eyes. 
Pretend  they  were  Chickens  !  " 

"  Are  you  afraid  of  their  great  big  eyes, 
Bruno  ?  "  I  said. 

"  Aren't  'fraidot  nothing,"  Bruno  answered  in 
as  careless  a  tone  as  he  could  manage  :  "  they're 
ugly  with  their  great  big  eyes.  I  think  if  they 

cried,  the  tears  would  be  as  big oh,  as  big  as 

the  moon  !  "  And  he  laughed  merrily.  "  Doos 
Owls  cry  ever,  Mister  Sir  ?  " 

"  Owls  cry  never,"  I  said  gravely,  trying  to 
copy  Bruno's  way  of  speaking :  "  they've  got 
nothing  to  be  sorry  for,  you  know." 

"  Oh,  but  they  have !  "  Bruno  exclaimed. 
"They're  ever  so  sorry,  'cause  they  killed  the 
poor  little  Mouses  !  " 

"  But  they're  not  sorry  when  they're  hungry, 
I  suppose  ? " 


xiv]  BRUNO'S    PICNIC.  215 

"  Oo  don't  know  nothing  about  Owls!"  Bruno 
scornfully  remarked.  "  When  they're  hungry, 
they're  very,  very  sorry  they  killed  the  little 
Mouses,  'cause  if  they  hadrtt  killed  them  there'd 
be  sumfin  for  supper,  oo  know !  " 

Bruno  was  evidently  getting  into  a  danger- 
ously inventive  state  of  mind,  so  Sylvie  broke  in 
with  "  Now  I'm  going  on  with  the  story.  So 
the  Owls the  Chickens,  I  mean were  look- 
ing to  see  if  they  could  find  a  nice  fat  Mouse 
for  their  supper — 

"  Pretend  it  was  a  nice  'abbit ! "  said  Bruno. 

"  But  it  wasrit  a  nice  habit,  to  kill  Mouses," 
Sylvie  argued.  "  I  can't  pretend  that  /" 

"  I  didn't  say  '  habit]  oo  silly  fellow  !  "  Bruno 
replied  with  a  merry  twinkle  in  his  eye.  "  Bab- 
bits  that  runs  about  in  the  fields  ! " 

"  Rabbit  ?  Well  it  can  be  a  Rabbit,  if  you  like. 
But  you  mustn't  alter  my  story  so  much,  Bruno. 
A  Chicken  couldnt  eat  a  Rabbit !  " 

"  But  it  might  have  wished  to  see  if  it  could 
try  to  eat  it." 

"  Well,  it  wished  to  see  if  it  could  try oh, 

really,  Bruno,  that's  nonsense !  I  shall  go  back 
to  the  Owls." 


216         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Well  then,  pretend  they  hadn't  great  eyes  ! " 

"  And  they  saw  a  little  Boy,"  Sylvie  went 
on,  disdaining  to  make  any  further  corrections. 
"  And  he  asked  them  to  tell  him  a  story.  And 
the  Owls  hooted  and  flew  away—  ("  Oo 
shouldn't  say  ' flewed ;'  oo  should  say  ' flied?  ' 
Bruno  whispered.  But  Sylvie  wouldn't  hear.) 
"  And  he  met  a  Lion.  And  he  asked  the  Lion 
to  tell  him  a  story.  And  the  Lion  said  '  yes/ 
it  would.  And,  while  the  Lion  was  telling  him 
the  story,  it  nibbled  some  of  his  head  off— 

"  Don't  say   '  nibbled  '  !  "     Bruno    entreated. 

"  Only  little   things  nibble little  thin  sharp 

things,   with  edges — 

"  Well  then,  it '  nubbled,'  "  said  Sylvie.  "  And 
when  it  had  nubbled  alt  his  head  off,  he  went 
away,  and  he  never  said  '  thank  you  ' !  " 

"  That  were  very  rude,"  said  Bruno.     "  If  he 

couldn't  speak,  he   might  have  nodded no, 

he  couldn't  nod.     Well,  he  might  have  shaked 
hands  with  the  Lion  !  " 

<(  Oh,  I'd  forgotten  that  part!"  said  Sylvie. 
"  He  did  shake  hands  with  it.  He  came  back 
again,  you  know,  and  he  thanked  the  Lion  very 
much,  for  telling  him  the  story." 


xiv]  BRUNO'S    PICNIC.  217 

"  Then  his  head  had  growed  up  again  ?  "  said 
Bruno. 

"  Oh  yes,  it  grew  up  in  a  minute.  And  the 
Lion  begged  pardon,  and  said  it  wouldn't  nubble 
off  little  boys'  heads not  never  no  more  ! " 

Bruno  looked  much  pleased  at  this  change  of 
events.  "Now  that  are  a  really  nice  story!" 
he  said.  "  Arerit  it  a  nice  story,  Mister  Sir  ?  " 

"Very,"  I  said.  "  I  would  like  to  hear  an- 
other story  about  that  Boy." 

"  So  would  /,"  said  Brunp,  stroking  Sylvie's 
cheek  again.  "Please  tell  about  Bruno's  Pic- 
nic ;  and  don't  talk  about  nubbly  Lions !  " 

"  I  won't,  if  it  frightens  you,"  said  Sylvie. 

"  Flightens  me  !  "  Bruno  exclaimed  indig- 
nantly. "It  isn't  that  \  -It's  'cause  '  nubbly '  's 
such  a  grumbly  word  to  say when  one  per- 
son 's  got  her  head  on  another  person's  shoul- 
der. When  she  talks  like  that,"  he  explained 
to  me,  "the  talking  goes  down  bofe  sides  of 

my  face all  the  way  to  my  chin and  it 

doos  tickle  so !  It's  enough  to  make  a  beard 
grow,  that  it  is  ! " 

He  said  this  with  great  severity,  but  it  was 
evidently  meant  for  a  joke :  so  Sylvie  laughed 


2i8         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

—a  delicious  musical  little  laugh,  and  laid  her 
soft  cheek  on  the  top  of  her  brother's  curly 
head,  as  if  it  were  a  pillow,  while  she  went  on 
with  the  story.  "  So  this  Boy  - 

"  But  it  wasn't  me,  oo  know ! "  Bruno  inter- 
rupted. "And  oo  needn't  try  to  look  as  if 
it  was,  Mister  Sir  ! " 

I  represented,  respectfully,  that  I  was  trying 
to  look  as  if  it  wasn't. 

" he  was  a  middling  good  Boy " 

"He  were  a  welly  good  Boy !  "  Bruno  cor- 
rected her.  "And  he  never  did  nothing  he 
wasn't  told  to  do " 

"  That  doesn't  make  a  good  Boy ! "  Sylvie 
said  contemptuously. 

"  That  do  make  a  good  Boy !  "  Bruno  in- 
sisted. 

Sylvie  gave  up  the  point.  "  Well,  he  was 
a  very  good  Boy,  and  he  always  kept  his  pro- 
mises, and  he  had  a  big  cupboard— 

-  for  to  keep  all  his  promises  in  ! "  cried 
Bruno. 

"  If  he  kept  all  his  promises,"  Sylvie  said, 
with  a  mischievous  look  in  her  eyes,  "  he  wasn't 
like  some  Boys  I  know  of! " 


xiv]  BRUNO'S    PICNIC.  219 

"  He  had  to  put  salt  with  them,  a-course," 
Bruno  said  gravely  :  "  oo  ca'n't  keep  promises 
when  there  isn't  any  salt.  And  he  kept  his 
birthday  on  the  second  shelf." 

"  How  long  did  he  keep  his  birthday  ? "  I 
asked.  <:  I  never  can  keep  mine  more  than 
twenty-four  hours." 

"  Why,  a  birthday  stays  that  long  by  itself!  " 
cried  Bruno.  "Oo  doosn't  know  how  to  keep 
birthdays  !  This  Boy  kept  his  a  whole  year ! " 

"  And  then  the  next  birthday  would  begin," 
said  Sylvie.  "  So  it  would  be  his  birthday 
always" 

"So  it  were,"  said  Bruno.  "  Doos  oo  have 
treats  on  oor  birthday,  Mister  Sir  ?  " 

"  Sometimes,"  I  said. 

"When  oo're ^wdf,  I  suppose  ?" 

"  Why,  it  is  a  sort  of  treat,  being  good,  isn't 
it  ? "  I  said. 

"A  sort  of  treat-!"  Bruno  repeated.  "  It's 
a  sort  of  punishment,  I  think  ! " 

"  Oh,  Bruno  !  "  Sylvie  interrupted,  almost 
sadly.  "How  can  you  ?  " 

"  Well,  but  it  is"  Bruno  persisted.  "  Why. 
look  here,  Mister  Sir!  This  is  being  good!" 


220         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

And  he  sat  bolt  upright,  and  put  on  an 
absurdly  solemn  face.  "  First  oo  must  sit  up 
as  straight  as  pokers— 

-  as  a  poker,"  Sylvie  corrected  him. 

-  as  straight    as  pokers"   Bruno   firmly 
repeated.     "  Then  oo  must  clasp  oor  hands— 

so.      Then '  Why    hasn't    oo    brushed    oor 

hair  ?     Go  and  brush  it  toreckly  ! '     Then— 

'  Oh,  Bruno,  oo  mustn't  dog's-ear  the  daisies  ! ' 
Did  oo  learn  oor  spelling  wiz  daisies,  Mister 
Sir  ?  " 

"  I  want  to  hear  about  that  Boy's  Birthday'' 
I  said. 

Bruno  returned  to  the  story  instantly. 
"  Well,  so  this  Boy  said  'Now  it's  my  Birth- 
day ! '  And  so I'm  tired  !  "  he  suddenly  broke 

off,  laying  his  head  in  Sylvie's  lap.  "  Sylvie 
knows  it  best.  Sylvie's  grown-upper  than  me. 
Go  on,  Sylvie  !  " 

Sylvie  patiently  took  up.  the  thread  of  the 
story  again.  "So  he  said  '  Now  it's  my 
Birthday.  Whatever  shall  I  do  to  keep  my 
Birthday  ?  All  good  little  Boys—  "  (Sylvie 
turned  away  from  Bruno,  and  made  a  great  pre- 
tence of  whispering  to  me]  " all  good  little 


xiv]  BRUNO'S    PICNIC.  221 

Boys—  Boys  that  learn  their  lessons  quite 
perfect —  -  they  always  keep  their  birthdays, 
you  know.  So  of  course  this  little  Boy  kept 
his  Birthday." 

"  Oo  may  call  him  Bruno,  if  oo  like,"  the 
little  fellow  carelessly  remarked.  "  It  weren't 
me,  but  it  makes  it  more  interesting." 

"  So  Bruno  said  to  himself  '  The  properest 
thing  to  do  is  to  have  a  Picnic,  all  by  myself, 
on  the  top  of  the  hill.  And  I'll  take  some 
Milk,  and  some  Bread,  and  some  Apples :  and 
first  and  foremost,  I  want  some  Milk  T  So, 
first  and  foremost,  Bruno  took  a  milk-pail — 

"  And  he  went  and  milkted  the  Cow ! " 
Bruno  put  in. 

"  Yes,"  said  Sylvie,  meekly  accepting  the 
new  verb.  "  And  the  Cow  said  '  Moo  !  What 
are  you  going  to  do  with  all  that  Milk  ? '  And 
Bruno  said  '  Please'm,  I  want  it  for  my  Picnic.' 
And  the  Cow  said  '  Moo !  But  I  hope  you 
wo'n't  boil  any  of  it  ? '  And  Bruno  said  '  No, 
indeed  I  won't!  New  Milk's  so  nice  and  so 
warm,  it  wants  no  boiling ! ' : 

"  It  doesn't  want  no  boiling,"  Bruno  offered 
as  an  amended  version. 


222         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  So  Bruno  put  the  Milk  in  a  bottle.  And 
then  Bruno  said  'Now  I  want  some  Bread!' 
So  he  went  to  the  Oven,  and  he  took  out  a 
delicious  new  Loaf.  And  the  Oven— 

" ever  so  light  and  so  puffy!"  Bruno 

impatiently  corrected  her  "  Oo  shouldn't 
leave  out  so  many  words  ! " 

Sylvie  humbly  apologised.  " a  delicious 

new  Loaf,  ever  so  light  and  so  puffy.  And 
the  Oven  said—  Here  Sylvie  made  a  long 

pause.  "  Really  I  don't  know  what  an  Oven 
begins  with,  when  it  wants  to  speak ! " 

Both  children  looked  appealingly  at  me  ;  but 
I  could  only  say,  helplessly,  "  I  haven't  the 
least  idea  !  /  never  heard  an  Oven  speak !  " 

For  a  minute  or  two  we  all  sat  silent ;  and 
then  Bruno  said,  very  softly,  "  Oven  begins 
wiz  '  O '." 

"  Good  little  boy ! "  Sylvie  exclaimed.  "  He 
does  his  spelling  very  nicely.  Hes  cleverer 
than  he  knows ! "  she  added,  aside,  to  me. 
"  So  the  Oven  said  '  O  !  What  are  you  going 
to  do  with  all  that  Bread  ? '  And  Bruno  said 
'  Please—  Is  an  Oven  '  Sir '  or  '  'm,'  would 
you  say  ? "  She  looked  to  me  for  a  reply. 


Xiv]  BRUNO'S    PICNIC.  223 

"  Both,  I  think,"  seemed  to  me  the  safest 
thing  to  say. 

Sylvie  adopted  the  suggestion  instantly. 
"  So  Bruno  said  '  Please,  Sirm,  I  want  it  for 
my  Picnic.'  And  the  Oven  said  'O!  But  I 
hope  you  wo'n't  toast  any  of  it  ? '  And  Bruno 
said  '  No,  indeed  I  wo'n't !  New  Bread's  so 
light  and  so  puffy,  it  wants  no  toasting ! ' 

"  It  never  doesn't  want  no  toasting,"  said 
Bruno.  "  I  wiss  oo  wouldn't  say  it  so  short! " 

"  So  Bruno  put  the  Bread  in  the  hamper. 
Then  Bruno  said  '  Now  I  want  some  Apples  ! ' 
So  he  took  the  hamper,  and  he  went  to  the 
Apple-Tree,  and  he  picked  some  lovely  ripe 
Apples.  And  the  Apple-Tree  said"-  Here 

followed  another  long  pause. 

Bruno  adopted  his  favourite  expedient  of 
tapping  his  forehead ;  while  Sylvie  gazed 
earnestly  upwards,  as  if  she  hoped  for  some 
suggestion  from  the  birds,  who  were  singing 
merrily  among  the  branches  overhead.  But 
no  result  followed. 

"  What  does  an  Apple-tree  begin  with,  when 
it  wants  to  speak  ?  "  Sylvie  murmured  despair- 
ingly, to  the  irresponsive  birds. 


224         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

At  last,  taking  a  leaf  out  of  Bruno's  book, 
I  ventured  on  a  remark.  "  Doesn't  '  Apple- 
tree'  always  begin  with  'Eh!'?" 

"Why,  of  course  it  does!  How  clever  of 
you  !  "  Sylvie  cried  delightedly. 

Bruno  jumped  up,  and  patted  me  on  the 
head.  I  tried  not  to  feel  conceited. 

"So  the  Apple-Tree  said  'Eh!  What  are 
you  going  to  do  with  all  those  Apples  ? '  And 
Bruno  said  '  Please,  Sir,  I  want  them  for 
my  Picnic.'  And  the  Apple-Tree  said  '  Eh ! 
But  I  hope  you  wo'n't  bake  any  of  them  ? ' 
And  Bruno  said  '  No,  indeed  I  wo'n't !  Ripe 
Apples  are  so  nice  and  so  sweet,  they  want 
no  baking ! ' ' 

"  They  never  doesn't—  Bruno  was  be- 
ginning, but  Sylvie  corrected  herself  before 
he  could  get  the  words  out. 

" '  They  never  doesn't  nohow  want  no 
baking.'  So  Bruno  put  the  Apples  in  the 
hamper,  along  with  the  Bread,  and  the  bottle 
of  Milk.  And  he  set  off  to  have  a  Picnic, 
on  the  top  of  the  hill,  all  by  himself— 

"  He  wasn't  greedy,  oo  know,  to  have  it  all 
by  himself,"  Bruno  said,  patting  me  on  the 


xiv]  BRUNO'S    PICNIC.  225 

cheek  to  call  my  attention  ;  "  'cause  he  hadn't 
got  no  brothers  and  sisters." 

"It  was  very  sad  to  have  no  sisters,  wasn't 
it  ? "  I  said. 

"Well,  I  don't  know,"  Bruno  said  thought- 
fully ;  "  'cause  he  hadn't  no  lessons  to  do.  So 
he  didn't  mind." 

Sylvie  went  on.  "So,  as  he  was  walking 
along  the  road,  he  heard  behind  him  such  a 

curious   sort   of  noise a  sort  of  a  Thump ! 

Thump  !  Thump  !  '  Whatever  is  that  ? '  said 
Bruno.  '  Oh,  I  know  ! '  said  Bruno.  '  Why, 
it's  only  my  Watch  a-ticking ! ' ' 

"Were  it  his  Watch  a-ticking?"  Bruno 
asked  me,  with  eyes  that  fairly  sparkled  with 
mischievous  delight. 

"  No  doubt  of  it !  "  I  replied.  And  Bruno 
laughed  exultingly. 

"Then  Bruno  thought  a  little  harder.  And 
he  said  'No!  It  cant  be  my  Watch  a-tick- 
ing ;  because  I  haven't  got  a  Watch  ! ' : 

Bruno  peered  up  anxiously  into  my  face, 
to  see  how  I  took  it.  I  hung  my  head,  and 
put  a  thumb  into  my  mouth,  to  the  evident 
delight  of  the  little  fellow. 

o 


226         SYLVIE    AND     BRUNO    CONCLUDED 

"  So  Bruno  went  a  little  further  along  the 
road.  And  then  he  heard  it  again,  that  queer 

noise Thump  !    Thump  !    Thump  !      '  What 

ever  is  that  ? '  said  Bruno.  '  Oh,  I  know ! ' 
said  Bruno.  '  Why,  it's  only  the  Carpenter 
a-mending  my  Wheelbarrow  ! ' 

"  Were  it  the  Carterpenter  a-mending  his 
Wheelbarrow  ?  "  Bruno  asked  me. 

I  brightened  up,  and  said  "It  must  have 
been  !  "  in  a  tone  of  absolute  conviction. 

Bruno  threw  his  arms  round  Sylvie's  neck. 
"  Sylvie !  "  he  said,  in  a  perfectly  audible 
whisper.  "He  says  it  must  have  been!" 

"  Then  Bruno  thought  a  little  harder.  And 
he  said  '  No !  It  cant  be  the  Carpenter 
amending  my  Wheelbarrow,  because  I  haven't 
got  a  Wheelbarrow  ! ' 

This  time  I  hid  my  face  in  my  hands,  quite 
unable  to  meet  Bruno's  look  of  triumph. 

"  So  Bruno  went  a  little  further  along  the 
road.  And  then  he  heard  that  queer  noise 

again Thump !    Thump  !    Thump  !      So  he 

thought  he'd  look  round,  this  time,  just  to  see 
what  it  was.  And  what  should  it  be  but  a 
great  Lion  ! " 


xiv]  BRUNO'S    PICNIC.  227 

"A  great  big  Lion,"   Bruno  corrected  her. 

"A  great  big  Lion.  And  Bruno  was  ever 
so  frightened,  and  he  ran— 

"No,  he  wasn't  flight  ened  a  bit ! "  Bruno 
interrupted.  (He  was  evidently  anxious  for 
the  reputation  of  his  namesake.)  "  He  runned 
away  to  get  a  good  look  at  the  Lion  ;  'cause 
he  wanted  to  see  if  it  were  the  same  Lion 
what  used  to  nubble  little  Boys'  heads  off;  and 
he  wanted  to  know  how  big  it  was  ! " 

"  Well,  he  ran  away,  to  get  a  good  look  at 
the*  Lion.  And  the  Lion  trotted  slowly  after 
him.  And  the  Lion  called  after  him,  in  a  very 
gentle  voice,  '  Little  Boy,  little  Boy !  You 
needn't  be  afraid  of  me!  I'm  a  very  gentle 
old  Lion  now.  I  never  nubble  little  Boys' 
heads  off,  as  I  used  to  do.'  And  so  Bruno 
said  '  Don't  you  really,  Sir  ?  Then  what  do 
you  live  on  ? '  And  the  Lion 

"  Oo  see  he  weren't  a  bit  flightened ! " 
Bruno  said  to  me,  patting  my  cheek  again. 
"  'cause  he  remembered  to  call  it  '  Sir,'  oo 
know." 

I  said  that  no  doubt  that  was  the  real  test 
whether  a  person  was  frightened  or  not. 

Q   2 


228         SYLV1E    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  And  the  Lion  said  '  Oh,  I  live  on  bread- 
and-butter,  and  cherries,  and  marmalade,  and 
plum-cake— 

" and  apples ! "  Bruno  put  in. 

"  Yes,  'and  apples.'  And  Bruno  said  'Won't 
you  come  with  me  to  my  Picnic  ? '  And  the 
Lion  said  '  Oh,  I  should  like  it  very  much  in- 
deed / '  And  Bruno  and  the  Lion  went  away 
together."  Sylvie  stopped  suddenly. 

"  Is  that  all?"   I  asked,  despondingly. 

"  Not  quite  all,"  Sylvie  slily  replied.  "  There's 
a  sentence  or  two  more.  Isn't  there,  Bruno  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  with  a  carelessness  that  was  evi- 
dently put  on  :  "just  a  sentence  or  two  more." 

"  And,  as  they  were  walking  along,  they 
looked  over  a  hedge,  and  who  should  they  see 
but  a  little  black  Lamb  !  And  the  Lamb  was 
ever  so  frightened.  And  it  ran " 

"  It  were  really  flightened  !"   Bruno  put  in. 

"  It  ran  away.  And  Bruno  ran  after  it.  And 
he  called  '  Little  Lamb !  You  needn't  be  afraid 
of  this  Lion!  It  never  kills  things!  It  lives 
on  cherries,  and  marmalade ' 

" and    apples  f  "    said    Bruno.       "  Oo 

always  forgets  the  apples  !  " 


xiv]  BRUNO'S    PICNIC.  229 

"  And  Bruno  said  '  Wo'n't  you  come  with 
us  to  my  Picnic  ? '  And  the  Lamb  said  '  Oh, 
I  should  like  it  very  much  indeed,  if  my  Ma 
will  let  me ! '  And  Bruno  said  '  Let's  go  and 
ask  your  Ma ! '  And  they  went  to  the  old 
Sheep.  And  Bruno  said  '  Please,  may  your 
little  Lamb  come  to  my  Picnic  ? '  And  the 
Sheep  said  '  Yes,  if  it's  learnt  all  its  lessons.' 
And  the  Lamb  said  '  Oh  yes,  Ma !  I've  learnt 
all  my  lessons  ! ' ' 

"  Pretend  it  hadn't  any  lessons  !  "  Bruno 
earnestly  pleaded. 

"  Oh,  that  would  never  do ! "  said  Sylvie. 
"  I  ca'n't  leave  out  all  about  the  lessons !  And 
the  old  Sheep  said  '  Do  you  know  your  ABC 
yet  ?  Have  you  learnt  A  ?  '  And  the  Lamb 
said  '  Oh  yes,  Ma  !  I  went  to  the  A-field,  and 
I  helped  them  to  make  A  ! '  '  Very  good,  my 
child!  And  have  you  learnt  B?'  'Oh  yes, 
Ma !  I  went  to  the  B-hive,  and  the  B  gave  me 
some  honey  ! '  '  Very  good,  my  child  !  And 
have  you  learnt  C  ? '  '  Oh  yes,  Ma !  I  went 
to  the  C-side,  and  I  saw  the  ships  sailing  on 
the  C  ! '  '  Very  good,  my  child  !  You  may  go 
to  Bruno's  Picnic.' 


230         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


"  So  they  set  off.  And  Bruno  walked  in  the 
middle,  so  that  the  Lamb  mightn't  see  the 
Lion— 

"It  were  fliglitened"   Bruno  explained. 

"  Yes,  and  it  trembled  so  ;  and  it  got  paler 
and  paler  ;  and,  before  they'd  got  to  the  top 

of  the  hill,  it  was  a  'white  little  JLamb as 

white  as  snow  !  " 


Xiv]  BRUNO'S    PICNIC.  231 

"  But  Bruno  weren't  flightened ! "  said  the 
owner  of  that  name.  ''So  he  staid  black !  " 

"  No,  he  didn't  stay  black !  He  staid  pink ! " 
laughed  Sylvie.  "  I  shouldn't  kiss  you  like  this, 
you  know,  if  you  were  black  !  " 

"  Oo'd  have  to  !  "  Bruno  said  with  great  de- 
cision. "  Besides,  Bruno  wasn't  Bruno,  oo 

know 1  mean,  Bruno  wasn't  me 1  mean 

don't  talk  nonsense,  Sylvie  !  " 

"I  won't  do  it  again!"  Sylvie  said  very 
humbly.  "  And  so,  as  they  went  along,  the 
Lion  said  *  Oh,  I'll  tell  you  what  I  used  to  do 
when  I  was  a  young  Lion.  I  used  to  hide  be- 
hind trees,  to  watch  for  little  Boys.' "  (Bruno 
cuddled  a  little  closer  to  her.)  "  '  And,  if  a 
little  thin  scraggy  Boy  came  by,  why,  I  used 
to  let  him  go.  But,  if  a  little  fat  juicy 

Bruno  could  bear  no  more.  "  Pretend  he 
wasn't  juicy !  "  he  pleaded,  half-sobbing. 

"  Nonsense,  Bruno  !  "  Sylvie  briskly  replied. 

"It'll  be  done  in  a  moment!  ' if  a  little 

fat  juicy  Boy  came  by,  why,  I  used  to  spring 
out  and  gobble  him  up !  Oh,  you've  no  idea 

what  a  delicious  thing  it  is a  little  juicy 

Boy ! '  And  Bruno  said  '  Oh,  if  you  please, 


232          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Sir,  dorit   talk   about  eating    little    boys !       It 
makes  me  so  shivery! ' 

The  real  Bruno  shivered,  in  sympathy  with 
the  hero. 

"  And  the  Lion  said  '  Oh,  well,  we  won't  talk 
about  it,  then  !  I'll  tell  you  what  happened  on 
my  wedding-day— 

"  I  like  this  part  better,"  said  Bruno,  patting 
my  cheek  to  keep  me  awake. 

"  '  There  was,  oh,  such  a  lovely  wedding- 
breakfast  !  At  one  end  of  the  table  there  was 
a  large  plum -pudding.  And  at  the  other  end 
there  was  a  nice  roasted  Lamb !  Oh,  you've 

no  idea  what  a  delicious  thing  it  is a  nice 

roasted  Lamb  !  '  And  the  Lamb  said  '  Oh, 
if  you  please,  Sir,  dorit  talk  about  eating 
Lambs  !  1 1  makes  me  so  shivery  ! '  And  the 
Lion  said  '  Oh,  well,  we  won't  talk  about  it, 
then ! '  " 


CHAPTER   XV. 

THE     LITTLE     FOXES. 

"So,  when  they  got  to  the  top  of  the  hill, 
Bruno  opened  the  hamper :  and  he  took  out 
the  Bread,  and  the  Apples,  and  the  Milk : 
and  they  ate,  and  they  drank.  And  when 
they'd  finished  the  Milk,  and  eaten  half  the 
Bread  and  half  the  Apples,  the  Lamb  said 
'  Oh,  my  paws  is  so  sticky !  I  want  to  wash 
my  paws ! '  And  the  Lion  said  '  Well,  go 
down  the  hill,  and  wash  them  in  the  brook, 
yonder.  We'll  wait  for  you  ! ' ' 

"It  never  corned  back!"  Bruno  solemnly 
whispered  to  me.  .  • 


234         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

But  Sylvie  overheard  him.  "  You're  not  to 
whisper,  Bruno!  It  spoils  the  story!  And 
when  the  Lamb  had  been  gone  a  long  time, 
the  Lion  said  to  Bruno  '  Do  go  and  see  after 
that  silly  little  Lamb  !  It  must  have  lost  its 
way.'  And  Bruno  went  down  the  hill.  And 
when  he  got  to  the  brook,  he  saw  the  Lamb 
sitting  on  the  bank  :  and  who  should  be  sitting 
by  it  but  an  old  Fox  !  " 

"  Don't  know  who  should  be  sitting  by  it," 
Bruno  said  thoughtfully  to  himself.  "  A  old 
Fox  were  sitting  by  it." 

"  And  the  old  Fox  were  saying,"  Sylvie  went 
on,  for  once  conceding  the  grammatical  point, 
"  '  Yes,  my  dear,  you'll  be  ever  so  happy  with 
us,  if  you'll  only  come  and  see  us !  I've  got 
three  little  Foxes  there,  and  we  do  love  little 
Lambs  so  dearly ! '  And  the  Lamb  said  '  But 
you  never  eat  them,  do  you,  Sir  ? '  And  the 
Fox  said  '  Oh,  no  !  What,  eat  a  Lamb  ?  We 
never  dream  of  doing  such  a  thing ! '  So  the 
Lamb  said  '  Then  I'll  come  with  you.'  And 
off  they  went,  hand  in  hand." 

"  That  Fox  were  welly  extremely  wicked, 
wererit  it  ?  "  said  Bruno. 


xv]  THE    LITTLE    FOXES.  235 

"  No,  no ! "  said  Sylvie,  rather  shocked  at 
such  violent  language.  "It  wasn't  quite  so 
bad  as  that!" 

"Well,  I  mean,  it  wasn't  nice,"  the  little 
fellow  corrected  himself. 

"And  so  Bruno  went  back  to  the  Lion. 
'  Oh,  come  quick  ! '  he  said.  '  The  Fox  has 
taken  the  Lamb  to  his  house  with  him  !  I'm 
sure  he  means  to  eat  it ! '  And  the  Lion  said 
'  I'll  come  as  quick  as  ever  I  can!'  And  they 
trotted  down  the  hill." 

"  Do  oo  think  he  caught  the  Fox,  Mister 
Sir  ? "  said  Bruno.  I  shook  my  head,  not 
liking  to  speak  :  and  Sylvie  went  on. 

"And  when  they  got  to  the  house,  Bruno 
looked  in  at  the  window.  And  there  he  saw 
the  three  little  Foxes  sitting  round  the  table, 
with  their  clean  pinafores  on,  and  spoons  in 
their  hands 

"  Spoons  in  their  hands ! "  Bruno  repeated 
in  an  ecstasy  of  delight. 

"  And  the  Fox  had  got  a  great  big  knife 

all  ready  to  kill  the  poor  little  Lamb " 

("Oo  needn't  be  flightened,  Mister  Sir!" 
Bruno  put  in,  in  a  hasty  whisper.) 


236         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


xv]  THE    LITTLE    FOXES.  237 

"And  just  as  he  was  going  to  do  it,  Bruno 
heard  a  great  ROAR—  (The  real  Bruno 

put  his  hand  into  mine,  and  held  tight),  "and 
the  Lion  came  bang  through  the  door,  and 
the  next  moment  it  had  bitten  off  the  old 
Fox's  head  !  And  Bruno  jumped  in  at  the 
window,  and  went  leaping  round  the  room,  and 
crying  out  '  Hooray  !  Hooray  !  The  old  Fox 
is  dead  !  The  old  Fox  is  dead ! ' ' 

Bruno  got  up  in  some  excitement.  "  May  I 
do  it  now  ? "  he  enquired. 

Sylvie  was  quite  decided  on  this  point. 
"  Wait  till  afterwards,"  she  said.  "  The  speeches 
come  next,  don't  you  know  ?  You  always  love 
the  speeches,  dorit  you  ?  " 

"  Yes,  I  doos,"  said  Bruno  :  and  sat  down 
again. 

"  The  Lion's  speech.  '  Now,  you  silly  little 
Lamb,  go  home  to  your  mother,  and  never 
listen  to  old  Foxes  again.  And  be  very  good 
and  obedient.' 

"The  Lamb's  speech.  'Oh,  indeed,  Sir,  I 
will,  Sir!'  and  the  Lamb  went  away."  ("  But 
oo  needn't  go  away!"  Bruno  explained.  "  It's 
quite  the  nicest  part what's  coming  now ! " 


238         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Sylvie  smiled.     She  liked   having  an  appreci- 
ative audience.) 

"  The  Lion's  speech  to  Bruno.  '  Now, 
Bruno,  take  those  little  Foxes  home  with 
you,  and  teach  them  to  be  good  obedient 
little  Foxes !  Not  like  that  wicked  old  thing 
there,  that's  got  no  head ! "  ("  That  hasn't 
got  no  head,"  Bruno  repeated.) 

"  Bruno's  speech  to  the  Lion.  Oh,  indeed, 
Sir,  I  will,  Sir!'  And  the  Lion  went  away." 
("  It  gets  betterer  and  betterer,  now,"  Bruno 
whispered  to  me,  "  right  away  to  the  end  ! ") 

"  Bruno's  speech  to  the  little  Foxes.  '  Now, 
little  Foxes,  you're  going  to  have  your  first 
lesson  in  being  good.  I'm  going  to  put  you 
into  the  hamper,  along  with  the  Apples  and  the 
Bread  :  and  you're  not  to  eat  the  Apples  :  and 
you're  not  to  eat  the  Bread  :  and  you're  not  to 

eat  anything till  we  get  to  my  house  :    and 

then  you'll  have  your  supper.' 

"  The  little  Foxes'  speech  to  Bruno.  The 
little  Foxes  said  nothing. 

"  So  Bruno  put  the  Apples  into  the  hamper 

and  the  little  Foxes and  the  Bread— 

("They  had   picnicked    all    the  Milk,"    Bruno 


xv]  THE    LITTLE    FOXES.  239 

explained   in  a    whisper)    " and   he   set   off 

to  go  to   his  house."     ("We're   getting   near 
the  end  now,"  said  Bruno.) 

"  And,  when  he  had  got  a  little  way,  he 
thought  he  would  look  into  the  hamper,  and 
see  how  the  little  Foxes  were  getting  on." 

"  So  he  opened  the  door "  said  Bruno. 

"Oh,  Bruno!"  Sylvie  exclaimed,  " yoiire 
not  telling  the  story  !  So  he  opened  the  door, 
and  behold,  there  were  no  Apples  !  So  Bruno 
said  '  Eldest  little  Fox,  have  you  been  eating 
the  Apples  ? '  And  the  eldest  little  Fox  said 
'  No  no  no!1'  (It  is  impossible  to  give  the 
tone  in  which  Sylvie  repeated  this  rapid  little 
'  No  no  no ! '  The  nearest  I  can  come  to  it 
is  to  say  that  it  was  much  as  if  a  young  and 
excited  duck  had  tried  to  quack  the  words. 
It  was  too  quick  for  a  quack,  and  yet  too  harsh 
to  be  anything  else.)  "  Then  he  said  '  Second 
little  Fox,  have  you  been  eating  the  Apples  ? ' 
And  the  second  little  Fox  said  '  No  no  no ! ' 
Then  he  said  '  Youngest  little  Fox,  have  you 
been  eating  the  Apples  ? '  And  the  youngest 
little  Fox  tried  to  say  '  No  no  no ! '  but  its 
mouth  was  so  full,  it  couldn't,  and  it  only 


240         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

said  '  Wauch  !  Wauch  !  Wauch  ! '  And  Bruno 
looked  into  its  mouth.  And  its  mouth  was 
full  of  Apples !  And  Bruno  shook  his  head, 
and  he  said  '  Oh  dear,  oh  dear !  What  bad 
creatures  these  Foxes  are  ! ' 

Bruno  was  listening  intently :  and,  when 
Sylvie  paused  to  take  breath,  he  could  only 
just  gasp  out  the  words  "  About  the  Bread  ?  " 

"Yes,"  said  Sylvie,  ''the  Bread  comes  next. 
So  he  shut  the  door  again  ;  and  he  went  a 
little  further ;  and  then  he  thought  he'd  just 
peep  in  once  more.  And  behold,  there  was  no 
Bread!"  ("What  do  'behold'  mean?"  said 
Bruno.  "Hush!"  said  Sylvie.)  "And  he  said 
'  Eldest  little  Fox,  have  you  been  eating  the 
Bread  ? '  And  the  eldest  little  Fox  said  '  No 
no  no ! '  '  Second  little  Fox,  have  you  been 
eating  the  Bread  ?  '  And  the  second  little  Fox 
only  said  '  Wauch  !  Wauch  !  Wauch ! '  And 
Bruno  looked  into  its  mouth,  and  its  mouth 
was  full  of  Bread!"  ("  It  might  have  chokeded 
it,"  said  Bruno.)  "  So  he  said  '  Oh  dear,  oh 
dear !  What  shall  I  do  with  these  Foxes  ? ' 
And  he  went  a  little  further."  ("  Now  comes 
the  most  interesting  part,"  Bruno  whispered.) 


xv]  THE    LITTLE    FOXES.  241 

"  And  when  Bruno  opened  the  hamper  again, 
what  do  you  think  he  saw  ? "  ("  Only  two 
Foxes  !  "  Bruno  cried  in  a  great  hurry.)  "  You 
shouldn't  tell  it  so  quick.  However,  he  did 
see  only  two  Foxes.  And  he  said  '  Eldest 
little  Fox,  have  you  been  eating  the  youngest 
little  Fox  ? '  And  the  eldest  little  Fox  said 
'No  no  no!'  'Second  little  Fox,  have  you 
been  eating  the  youngest  little  Fox  ? '  And 
the  second  little  Fox  did  its  very  best  to  say 
'No  no  no!'  but  it  could  only  say  'Weuchk! 
Weuchk  !  Weuchk ! '  And  when  Bruno  looked 
into  its  mouth,  it  was  half  full  of  Bread,  and 
half  full  of  Fox  !  "  (Bruno  said  nothing  in  the 
pause  this  time.  He  was  beginning  to  pant  a 
little,  as  he  knew  the  crisis  was  coming.) 

"  And  when  he'd  got  nearly  home,  he  looked 
once  more  into  the  hamper,  and  he  saw — 

"  Only "   Bruno  began,   but  a  generous 

thought  struck  him,  and  he  looked  at  me.  "  Oo 
may  say  it,  this  time,  Mister  Sir ! "  he  whis- 
pered. It  was  a  noble  offer,  but  I  wouldn't 
rob  him  of  the  treat.  "Go  on,  Bruno,"  I  said, 

"you  say  it  much  the  best."     "  Only but 

one Fox  ! "  Bruno  said  with  great  solemnity. 

R 


242 


SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


"  '  Eldest  little  Fox,'  "  Sylvie  said,  dropping 
the  narrative-form  in  her  eagerness.  "  '  you've 
been  so  good  that  I  can  hardly  believe  youve 
been  disobedient :  but  I'm  afraid  you've  been 
eating  your  little  sister  ? '  And  the  eldest  little 
Fox  said  '  Whihuauch  !  Whihuauch  ! '  and  then 
it  choked.  And  Bruno  looked  into  its  mouth, 
and  it  was  full ! "  (Sylvie  paused  to  take 
breath,  and  Bruno  lay  back  among  the  daisies, 


xv]  THE    LITTLE    FOXES.  243 

and  looked  at  me  triumphantly.  "  Isn't  it 
grand,  Mister  Sir  ?  "  said  he.  I  tried  hard  to 
assume  a  critical  tone.  "  It's  grand,"  I  said  : 
"but  it  frightens  one  so!"  "Oo  may  sit  a 
little  closer  to  me,  if  oo  like,"  said  Bruno.) 

"  And  so  Bruno  went  home  :  and  took  the 
hamper  into  the  kitchen,  and  opened  it.     And 

he  saw "     Sylvie  looked  at  me,  this  time,  as 

if  she  thought  I  had  been  rather  neglected  and 
ought  to  be  allowed  one  guess,  at  any  rate. 

"  He   ca'n't   guess  ! "    Bruno    cried   eagerly. 

"  I  'fraid  I  must  tell  him!     There  weren't 

nuffin  in  the  hamper ! "  I  shivered  in  terror, 
and  Bruno  clapped  his  hands  with  delight. 
"  He  is  flightened,  Sylvie !  Tell  the  rest !  " 

"  So  Bruno  said  '  Eldest  little  Fox,  have  you 
been  eating  yoiirself,  you  wicked  little  Fox  ? ' 
And  the  eldest  little  Fox  said  '  Whihuauch  ! ' 
And  then  Bruno  saw  there  was  only  its  moutk 
in  the  hamper !  So  he  took  the  mouth,  and  he 
opened  it,  and  shook,  and  shook !  And  at  last 
he  shook  the  little  Fox  out  of  its  own  mouth ! 
And  then  he  said  '  Open  your  mouth  again, 
you  wicked  little  thing ! '  And  he  shook,  and 
shook !  And  he  shook  out  the  second  little 

R  2 


244         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Fox  !  And  he  said  '  Now  open  your  mouth  ! ' 
And  he  shook,  and  shook !  And  he  shook  out 
the  youngest  little  Fox,  and  all  the  Apples,  and 
all  the  Bread ! 

"And  then  Bruno  stood  the  little  Foxes  up 
against  the  wall  :  and  he  made  .them  a  little 
speech.  '  Now,  little  Foxes,  you've  begun  very 

wickedly and   you'll   have   to   be    punished. 

First  you'll  go  up  to  the  nursery,  and  wash 
your  faces,  and  put  on  clean  pinafores.  Then 
you'll  hear  the  bell  ring  for  supper.  Then  you'll 
come  down  :  and  you  wont  have  any  supper : 
but  you'll  have  a  good  whipping  !  Then  you'll 
go  to  bed.  Then  in  the  morning  you'll  hear 
the  bell  ring  for  breakfast.  But  you  wont  have 
any  breakfast !  You'll  have  a  good  whipping  ! 
Then  you'll  have  your  lessons.  And,  perhaps, 
if  you're  very  good,  when  dinner-time  comes, 
you'll  have  a  little  dinner,  and  no  more 
whipping  ! ' :  ("  How  very  kind  he  was  !  "  I 
whispered  to  Bruno.  "Middling  kind,"  Bruno 
corrected  me  gravely.) 

"  So  the  little  Foxes  ran  up  to  the  nursery. 
And  soon  Bruno  went  into  the  hall,  and  rang 
the  big  bell.  '  Tingle,  tingle,  tingle  !  Supper, 


xv]  THE    LITTLE    FOXES.  245 

supper,  supper ! '  Down  came  the  little  Foxes, 
in  such  a  hurry  for  their  supper !  Clean  pina- 
fores !  Spoons  in  their  hands !  And,  when  they 
got  into  the  dining-room,  there  was  ever  such 
a  white  table-cloth  on  the  table  !  But  there  was 
nothing  on  it  but  a  big  whip.  And  they  had 
such  a  whipping  !"  (I  put  my  handkerchief  to 
my  eyes,  and  Bruno  hastily  climbed  upon  my 
knee  and  stroked  my  face.  "  Only  one  more 
whipping,  Mister  Sir  !  "  he  whispered.  "  Don't 
cry  more  than  oo  ca'n't  help ! ") 

"And  the  next  morning  early,  Bruno  rang 
the  big  bell  again.  '  Tingle,  tingle,  tingle ! 
Breakfast,  breakfast,  breakfast ! '  Down  came 
the  little  Foxes  !  Clean  pinafores  !  Spoons  in 
their  hands !  No  breakfast  !  Only  the  big 
whip  !  Then  came  lessons,"  Sylvie  hurried  on, 
for  I  still  had  my  handkerchief  to  my  eyes. 
"  And  the  little  Foxes  were  ever  so  good ! 
And  they  learned  their  lessons  backwards, 
and  forwards,  and  upside-down.  And  at  last 
Bruno  rang  the  big  bell  again.  '  Tingle,  tingle, 
tingle  !  Dinner,  dinner,  dinner ! '  And  when 

the  little   Foxes    came    down "("  Had    they 

clean  pinafores   on  ?  "    Bruno  enquired.      "  Of 


246          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

course !  "  said  Sylvie.  "  And  spoons  ?  "  ''  Why, 
you  know  they  had  !"  "  Couldn't  be  certain" 

said  Bruno.)     " they  came  as  slow  as  slow  ! 

And  they  said  '  Oh  !  There'll  be  no  dinner  ! 
There'll  only  be  the  big  whip  !  '  But,  when 
they  got  into  the  room,  they  saw  the  most 
lovely  dinner !"  ("Buns?"  cried  Bruno,  clap- 
ping his  hands.)  "  Buns,  and  cake,  and— 

("—and  jam  ?  "    said  Bruno.)     "  Yes,  jam 

and  soup and "   (" and  sugar  plums  /" 

Bruno  put  in  once  more  ;  and  Sylvie  seemed 
satisfied.) 

"  And  ever  after  that,  they  were  such  good 
little  Foxes !  They  did  their  lessons  as  good 

as  gold and  they  never  did  what  Bruno  told 

them  not  to and  they  never  ate  each  other 

any  more and  they  never  ate  themselves ! " 

The  story  came  to  an  end  so  suddenly, 
it  almost  took  my  breath  away  ;  however  I  did 
my  best  to  make  a  pretty  speech  of  thanks. 

"I'm    sure    it's  very very very   much  so, 

I'm  sure!"   I  seemed  to  hear  myself  say. 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

BEYOND     THESE     VOICES. 

"  I  DIDN'T  quite  catch  what  you  said ! "  were 
the  next  words  that  reached  my  ear,  but  cer- 
tainly not  in  the  voice  either  of  Sylvie  or  of 
Bruno,  whom  I  could  just  see,  through  the 
crowd  of  guests,  standing  by  the  piano,  and 
listening  to  the  Count's  song.  Mein  Herr  was 
the  speaker.  "  I  didn't  quite  catch  what  you 
said!"  he  repeated.  "  But  I've  no  doubt  you 
take  my  view  of  it.  Thank  you  very  much  for 
your  kind  attention.  There  is  only  but  one 
verse  left  to  be  sung  !  "  These  last  words  were 
not  in  the  gentle  voice  of  Mein  Herr,  but  in 


248         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

the  deep  bass  of  the  French  Count.  And,  in 
the  silence  that  followed,  the  final  stanza  of 
'  Tottles '  rang  through  the  room. 


See  now  this  couple  settled  down 
In  quiet  lodgings,  out  of  town  : 
Submissively  the  tearful  ivife 
Accepts  a  plain  and  J tumble  life : 
Yet  begs  one  boon  on  bended  knee  : 
'  My  ducky -darling,  don't  resent  it ! 

Mamma  might  come  for  two  or  three ' 

1  NE  VER  !  '  yelled  Tottles.     A  nd  he  meant  it. 


xvi]  BEYOND    THESE    VOICES.  249 

The  conclusion  of  the  song  was  followed  by 
quite  a  chorus  of  thanks  and  compliments  from 
all  parts  of  the  room,  which  the  gratified  singer 
responded  to  by  bowing  low  in  all  directions. 
"  It  is  to  me  a  great  privilege,"  he  said  to  Lady 
Muriel,  "  to  have  met  with  this  so  marvellous  a 
song.  The  accompaniment  to  him  is  so  strange, 
so  mysterious  :  it  is  as  if  a  new  music  were  to 
be  invented !  I  will  play  him  once  again  so  as 
that  to  show  you  what  I  mean."  He  returned 
to  the  piano,  but  the  song  had  vanished. 

The  bewildered  singer  searched  through  the 
heap  of  music  lying  on  an  adjoining  table,  but 
it  was  not  there,  either.  Lady  Muriel  helped 
in  the  search  :  others  soon  joined :  the  excite- 
ment grew.  "  What  can  have  become  of  it  ?  " 
exclaimed  Lady  Muriel.  Nobody  knew  :  one 
thing  only  was  certain,  that  no  one  had  been 
near  the  piano  since  the  Count  had  sung  the 
last  verse  of  the  song. 

"  Nevare  mind  him ! "  he  said,  most  good- 
naturedly.  "  I  shall  give  it  you  with  memory 
alone !  "  He  sat  down,  and  began  vaguely  fing- 
ering the  notes ;  but  nothing  resembling  the 
tune  came  out.  Then  he,  too,  grew  excited. 


250          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  But  what  oddness  !  How  much  of  singularity ! 
That  I  might  lose,  not  the  words  alone,  but  the 
tune  also — that  is  quite  curious,  I  suppose  ?  " 

We  all  supposed  it,  heartily. 

"  It  was  that  sweet  little  boy,  who  found  it 
for  me,"  the  Count  suggested.  "  Quite  perhaps 
he  is  the  thief  ? " 

"Of  course  he  is!"  cried  Lady  Muriel. 
"  Bruno  !  Where  are  you,  my  darling  ?  " 

But  no  Bruno  replied  :  it  seemed  that  the 
two  children  had  vanished  as  suddenly,  and  as 
mysteriously,  as  the  song. 

"  They  are  playing  us  a  trick  !  "  Lady  Muriel 
gaily  exclaimed.  "  This  is  only  an  ex  tempore 
game  of  Hide-and-Seek  !  That  little  Bruno  is 
an  embodied  Mischief!" 

The  suggestion  was  a  welcome  one  to  most 
of  us,  for  some  of  the  guests  were  beginning 
to  look  decidedly  uneasy.  A  general  search  was 
set  on  foot  with  much  enthusiasm  :  curtains  were 
thrown  back  and  shaken,  cupboards  opened,  and 
ottomans  turned  over ;  but  the  number  of  pos- 
sible hiding-places  proved  to  be  strictly  limited  ; 
and  the  search  came  to  an  end  almost  as  soon 
as  it  had  begun. 


xvi]  '    BEYOND    THESE    VOICES.  251 

"  They  must  have  run  out,  while  we  were 
wrapped  up  in  the  song,"  Lady  Muriel  said, 
addressing  herself  to  the  Count,  who  seemed 
more  agitated  than  the  others  ;  "and  no  doubt 
they've  found  their  way  back  to  the  house- 
keeper's room." 

"  Not  by  this  door  ! "  was  the  earnest  protest 
of  a  knot  of  two  or  three  gentlemen,  who  had 
been  grouped  round  the  door  (one  of  them 
actually  leaning  against  it)  for  the  last  half- 
hour,  as  they  declared.  "  This  door  has  not 
been  opened  since  the  song  began  !  " 

An  uncomfortable  silence  followed  this  an- 
nouncement. Lady  Muriel  ventured  no  further 
conjectures,  but  quietly  examined  the  fastenings 
of  the  windows,  which  opened  as  doors.  They 
all  proved  to  be  well  fastened,  inside. 

Not  yet  at  the  end  of  her  resources,  Lady 
Muriel  rang  the  bell.  "Ask  the  housekeeper 
to  step  here,"  she  said,  "and  to  bring  the 
children's  walking-things  with  her." 

"I've  brought  them,  my  Lady,"  said  the 
obsequious  housekeeper,  entering  after  another 
minute  of  silence.  "  I  thought  the  young 
lady  would  have  come  to  my  room  to  put  on 


252          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

her  boots.  Here's  your  boots,  my  love  ! "  she 
added  cheerfully,  looking  in  all  directions  for 
the  children.  There  was  no  answer,  and  she 
turned  to  Lady  Muriel  with  a  puzzled  smile. 
"  Have  the  little  darlings  hid  themselves  ?" 

"  I  don't  see  them,  just  now,"  Lady  Muriel 
replied,  rather  evasively.  "  You  can  leave  their 
things  here,  Wilson.  /'//  dress  them,  when 
they're  ready  to  go." 

The  two  little  hats,  and  Sylvie's  walking- 
jacket,  were  handed  round  among  the  ladies, 
with  many  exclamations  of  delight.  There 
certainly  was  a  sort  of  witchery  of  beauty  about 
them.  Even  the  little  boots  did  not  miss  their 
share  of  favorable  criticism.  "  Such  natty  little 
things ! "  the  musical  young  lady  exclaimed, 
almost  fondling  them  as  she  spoke.  "And 
what  tiny  tiny  feet  they  must  have  !  " 

Finally,  the  things  were  piled  together  on  the 
centre-ottoman,  and  the  guests,  despairing  of 
seeing  the  children  again,  began  to  wish  good- 
night and  leave  the  house. 

There  were  only  some  eight  or  nine  left 

to  whom  the  Count  was  explaining,  for  the 
twentieth  time,  how  he  had  had  his  eye  on  the 


xvi]  BEYOND    THESE    VOICES.  253 

children  during  the  last  verse  of  the  song ;  how 
he  had  then  glanced  round  the  room,  to  see 
what  effect  "  de  great  chest-note "  had  had 
upon  his  audience  ;  and  how,  when  he  looked 

back  again,  they  had  both  disappeared when 

exclamations  of  dismay  began  to  be  heard 
on  all  sides,  the  Count  hastily  bringing  his 
story  to  an  end  to  join  in  the  outcry. 

The  walking-things  had  all  disappeared  ! 

After  the  utter  failure  of  the  search  for  the 
children,  there  was  a  very  half-hearted  search 
made  for  their  apparel.  The  remaining  guests 
seemed  only  too  glad  to  get  away,  leaving  only 
the  Count  and  our  four  selves. 

The  Count  sank  into  an  easy-chair,  and 
panted  a  little. 

"  Who  then  are  these  dear  children,  I  pray 
you?"  he  said.  "Why  come  they,  why  go 
they,  in  this  so  little  ordinary  a  fashion  ?  That 

the  music  should  make  itself  to  vanish that 

the  hats,  the  boots,  should  make  themselves  to 
vanish how  is  it,  I  pray  you  ? " 

"  I've  no  idea  where  they  are ! "  was  all  I 
could  say,  on  finding  myself  appealed  to,  by 
general  consent,  for  an  explanation. 


254          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

The  Count  seemed  about  to  ask  further 
questions,  but  checked  himself. 

"  The  hour  makes  himself  to  become  late," 
he  said.  "  I  wish  to  you  a  very  good  night, 

my   Lady.      I   betake  myself   to  my  bed to 

dream if    that    indeed    I    be    not   dreaming 

now  ! "     And  he  hastily  left  the  room. 

"  Stay  awhile,  stay  awhile !"  said  the  Earl, 
as  I  was  about  to  follow  the  Count.  "  You 
are  not  a  guest,  you  know !  Arthur's  friend 
is  at  home  here  !  " 

"  Thanks ! "  I  said,  as,  with  true  English 
instincts,  we  drew  our  chairs  together  round 
the  fire-place,  though  no  fire  was  burning- 
Lady  Muriel  having  taken  the  heap  of  music 
on  her  knee,  to  have  one  more  search  for  the 
strangely-vanished  song. 

"  Don't  you  sometimes  feel  a  wild  longing," 
she  said,  addressing  herself  to  me,  "  to  have 
something  more  to  do  with  your  hands,  while 
you  talk,  than  just  holding  a  cigar,  and  now 
and  then  knocking  off  the  ash  ?  Oh,  I  know 
all  that  you're  going  to  say  ! "  (This  was  to 
Arthur,  who  appeared  about  to  interrupt  her.) 
"  The  Majesty  of  Thought  supersedes  the 


xvi]  BEYOND    THESE    VOICES.  255 

work  of  the  fingers.  A  Man's  severe  thinking, 
plus  the  shaking-off  a  cigar-ash,  comes  to  the 
same  total  as  a  Woman's  trivial  fancies,  plus 
the  most  elaborate  embroidery.  That's  your 
sentiment,  isn't  it,  only  better  expressed  ?  " 

Arthur  looked  into  the  radiant,  mischievous 
face,  with  a  grave  and  very  tender  smile. 
"  Yes,"  he  said  resignedly  :  "  that  is  my  senti- 
ment, exactly." 

"  Rest  of  body,  and  activity  of  mind,"  I  put 
in.  "  Some  writer  tells  us  that  is  the  acme  of 
human  happiness." 

"  Plenty  of  bodily  rest,  at  any  rate ! "  Lady 
Muriel  replied,  glancing  at  the  three  recum- 
bent figures  around  her.  "  But  what  you  call 
activity  of  mind " 

" is  the  privilege  of  young  Physicians 

only  I'  said  the  Earl.  "  We  old  men  have  no 
claim  to  be  active !  What  can  an  old  man 
do  bid  die  ?  " 

"  A  good  many  other  things,  I  should  hope" 
Arthur  said  earnestly. 

"  Well,  maybe.  Still  you  have  the  advan- 
tage of  me  in  many  ways,  dear  boy  !  Not 
only  that  your  day  is  dawning  while  mine  is 


256          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

setting,  but  jour  interest  in  Life somehow  I 

ca'n't  help  envying  you  that.  It  will  be  many 
a  year  before  you  lose  your  hold  of  that" 

"  Yet  surely  many  human  interests  survive 
human  Life  ? "  I  said. 

"  Many  do,  no  doubt.  And  some  forms  of 
Science  ;  but  only  some,  I  think.  Mathematics, 
for  instance  :  that  seems  to  possess  an  endless 
interest :  one  ca'n't  imagine  any  form  of  Life, 
or  any  race  of  intelligent  beings,  where  Mathe- 
matical truth  would  lose  its  meaning.  But  I 
fear  Medicine  stands  on  a  different  footing. 
Suppose  you  discover  a  remedy  for  some  dis- 
ease hitherto  supposed  to  be  incurable.  Well, 

it  is  delightful  for  the  moment,  no  doubt full 

of  interest perhaps  it  brings  you  fame  and 

fortune.  But  what  then  ?  Look  on,  a  few 
years,  into  a  life  where  disease  has  no  exist- 
ence. What  is  your  discovery  worth,  then  ? 
Milton  makes  Jove  promise  too  much.  '  Of 
so  much  fame  in  heaven  expect  thy  meed. '  Poor 
comfort,  when  one's  '  fame '  concerns  matters 
that  will  have  ceased  to  have  a  meaning ! " 

"  At  any  rate,  one  wouldn't  care  to  make 
any  fresh  medical  discoveries,"  said  Arthur. 


xvi]  BEYOND    THESE    VOICES.  257 

"  I   see  no  help  for  that — -though   I   shall  be 
sorry   to  give   up    my  favorite    studies.      Still, 

medicine,    disease,    pain,    sorrow,   sin 1    fear 

they're    all    linked    together.     Banish  sin,   and 
you  banish  them  all  !  " 

"  Military  science  is  a  yet  stronger  instance/' 
said  the  Earl.  "  Without  sin,  war  would  surely 
be  impossible.  Still  any  mind,  that  has  had  in 
this  life  any  keen  interest,  not  in  itself  sinful, 
will  surely  find  itself  some  congenial  line  of 
work  hereafter.  Wellington  may  have  no  more 
battles  to  fight and  yet— 

'  We  doubt  not  that,  for  one  so  true, 
There  must  be  other,  nobler  work  to  do, 
Than  when  he  fought  at  Waterloo, 

And  Victor  he  must  ever  be  ! ' ' 

He  lingered  over  the  beautiful  words,  as  if 
he  loved  them  :  and  his  voice,  like  distant 
music,  died  away  into  silence. 

After  a  minute  or  two  he  began  again.  "  If 
I'm  not  wearying  you,  I  would  like  to  tell  you 
an  idea  of  the  future  Life  which  has  haunted 
me  for  years,  like  a  sort  of  waking  night- 
mare  1  ca'n't  reason  myself  out  of  it." 

s 


258          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Pray  do,"  Arthur  and  I  replied,  almost  in 
a  breath.  Lady  Muriel  put  aside  the  heap 
of  music,  and  folded  her  hands  together. 

"The  one  idea,"  the  Earl  resumed,  "that 
has  seemed  to  me  to  overshadow  all  the  rest, 

is  that  of  Eternity involving,  as  it  seems  to 

do,  the  necessary  exhaustion  of  all  subjects  of 
human  interest.  Take  Pure  Mathematics,  for 
instance a  Science  independent  of  our  pres- 
ent surroundings.  I  have  studied  it,  myself, 
a  little.  Take  the  subject  of  circles  and  ellip- 
ses  what  we  call  '  curves  of  the  second  de- 
gree.' In  a  future  Life,  it  would  only  be  a 
question  of  so  many  years  (or  hundreds  of 
years,  if  you  like),  for  a  man  to  work  out  all 
their  properties.  Then  he  might  go  to  curves 
of  the  third  degree.  Say  that  took  ten  times 
as  long  (you  see  we  have  unlimited  time  to 
deal  with).  I  can  hardly  imagine  his  interest 
in  the  subject  holding  out  even  for  those  ;  and, 
though  there  is  no  limit  to  the  degree  of  the 
curves  he  might  study,  yet  surely  the  time, 
needed  to  exhaust  all  the  novelty  and  interest 
of  the  subject,  would  be  absolutely  finite  ? 
And  so  of  all  other  branches  of  Science.  And, 


XVI]  BEYOND    THESE    VOICES.  259 

when  I  transport  myself,  in  thought,  through 
some  thousands  or  millions  of  years,  and  fancy 
myself  possessed  of  as  much  Science  as  one 
created  reason  can  carry,  I  ask  myself  '  What 
then  ?  With  nothing  more  to  learn,  can  one 
rest  content  on  knowledge,  for  the  eternity  yet 
to  be  lived  through  ?'  It  has  been  a  very 
wearying  thought  to  me.  I  have  sometimes 
fancied  one  might,  in  that  event,  say  'It  is 
better  not  to  be,'  and  pray  for  personal  anni- 
hilation  the  Nirvana  of  the  Buddhists." 

"  But  that  is  only  half  the  picture,"  I  said. 
"  Besides  working  for  oneself,  may  there  not 
be  the  helping  of  others  ?  " 

"  Surely,  surely ! "  Lady  Muriel  exclaimed 
in  a  tone  of  relief,  looking  at  her  father  with 
sparkling  eyes. 

"Yes,"  said  the  Earl,  "  so  long  as  there  were 
any  others  needing  help.  But,  given  ages  and 
ages  more,  surely  all  created  reasons  would  at 
length  reach  the  same  dead  level  of  satiety. 
And  then  what  is  there  to  look  forward  to  ? " 

"  I  know  that  weary  feeling,"  said  the  young 
Doctor.  "  I  have  gone  through  it  all,  more 
than  once.  Now  let  me  tell  you  how  I  have 

s  2 


260         SYLVIE   AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

put  it  to  myself.  I  have  imagined  a  little  child, 
playing  with  toys  on  his  nursery-floor,  and  yet 
able  to  reason,  and  to  look  on,  thirty  years 
ahead.  Might  he  not  say  to  himself  '  By  that 
time  I  shall  have  had  enough  of  bricks  and 
ninepins.  How  weary  Life  will  be ! '  Yet,  if 
we  look  forward  through  those  thirty  years,  we 
find  him  a  great  statesman,  full  of  interests  and 
joys  far  more  intense  than  his  baby-life  could 
give joys  wholly  inconceivable  to  his  baby- 
mind joys  such  as  no  baby-language  could  in 

the  faintest  degree  describe.  Now,  may  not  our 
life,  a  million  years  hence,  have  the  same  rela- 
tion, to  our  life  now,  that  the  man's  life  has  to 
the  child's  ?  And,  just  as  one  might  try,  all  in 
vain,  to  express  to  that  child,  in  the  language 
of  bricks  and  ninepins,  the  meaning  of  '  politics,' 
so  perhaps  all  those  descriptions  of  Heaven, 
with  its  music,  and  its  feasts,  and  its  streets  of 
gold,  may  be  only  attempts  to  describe,  in  our 
words,  things  for  which  we  really  have  no 
words  at  all.  Don't  you  think  that,  in  your 
picture  of  another  life,  you  are  in  fact  trans- 
planting that  child  into  political  life,  without 
making  any  allowance  for  his  growing  up  ?  " 


xvi]  BEYOND    THESE    VOICES.  261 

"  I  think  I  understand  you,"  said  the  Earl. 
"  The  music  of  Heaven  may  be  something 
beyond  our  powers  of  thought.  Yet  the  music 
of  Earth  is  sweet !  Muriel,  my  child,  sing  us 
something  before  we  go  to  bed ! " 

"  Do,"  said  Arthur,  as  he  rose  and  lit  the 
candles  on  the  cottage-piano,  lately  banished 
from  the  drawing-room  to  make  room  for  a 
'semi-grand.'  "There  is  a  song  here,  that  I 
have  never  heard  you  sing. 

'Hail  to  thee,  blithe  spirit ! 

Bird  tJwu  never  wert, 
That  from  Heaven,  or  near  it, 

P cures t  thy  f  11 II  heart ! ' ' 

he    read  from   the  page  he   had  spread   open 
before  her. 

""And  our  little  life  here,"  the  Earl  went  on, 
"  is,  to  that  grand  time,  like  a  child's  summer- 
day  !  One  gets  tired  as  night  draws  on,"  he 
added,  with  a  touch  of  sadness  in  his  voice, 
"  and  one  gets  to  long  for  bed !  For  those 
welcome  words  '  Come,  child,  'tis  bed-time ! ' 


CHAPTER   XVII. 

TO    THE    RESCUE  ! 

"  IT  isrit  bed-time!"  said  a  sleepy  little 
voice.  "  The  owls  hasn't  gone  to  bed,  and  I 
s'a'n't  go  to  seep  wizout  oo  sings  to  me !  " 

"  Oh,  Bruno !  "  cried  Sylvie.  "  Don't  you 
know  the  owls  have  only  just  got  up  ?  But 
the  frogs  have  gone  to  bed,  ages  ago." 

"  Well,  /  aren't  a  frog,"  said  Bruno. 

"  What  shall  I  sing  ? "  said  Sylvie,  skilfully 
avoiding  the  argument. 

"  Ask  Mister  Sir,"  Bruno  lazily  replied,  clasp- 
ing his  hands  behind  his  curly  head,  and  lying 
back  on  his  fern-leaf,  till  it  almost  bent  over 


xvn]  TO    THE    RESCUE  !  263 

with  his  weight.      "  This  aren't  a  comfable  leaf, 

Sylvie.      Find  me  a  comfabler please  !  "  he 

added,  as  an  after-thought,  in  obedience  to  a 
warning  finger  held  up  by  Sylvie.  "  I  doosn't 
like  being  feet-upwards  !  " 

It  was  a  pretty  sight  to  see the  motherly 

way  in  which  the  fairy-child  gathered  up  her 
little  brother  in  her  arms,  and  laid  him  on  a 
stronger  leaf.  She  gave  it  just  a  touch  to  set 
it  rocking,  and  it  went  on  vigorously  by  itself, 
as  if  it  contained  some  hidden  machinery.  It 
certainly  wasn't  the  wind,  for  the  evening-breeze 
had  quite  died  away  again,  and  not  a  leaf  was 
stirring  over  our  heads. 

"Why  does  that  one  leaf  rock  so,  without 
the  others  ? "  I  asked  Sylvie.  She  only  smiled 
sweetly  and  shook  her  head.  "  I  don't  know 
why  I'  she  said.  "It  always  does,  if  it's  got  a 
fairy-child  on  it.  It  has  to,  you  know." 

"  And  can  people  see  the  leaf  rock,  who  ca'n't 
see  the  Fairy  on  it  ? " 

"  Why,  of  course  !  "  cried  Sylvie.  "  A  leaf's 
a  leaf,  and  everybody  can  see  it  ;  but  Bruno's 
Bruno,  and  they  ca'n't  see  him,  unless  they're 
eerie,  like  you." 


264          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Then    I    understood    how    it   was    that    one 

sometimes  sees going  through  the  woods  in 

a  still  evening one  fern-leaf  rocking  steadily 

on,  all  by  itself.  Haven't  you  ever  seen  that  ? 
Try  if  you  can  see  the  fairy-sleeper  on  it,  next 
time  ;  but  don't  pick  the  leaf,  whatever  you  do  ; 
let  the  little  one  sleep  on ! 

But  all  this  time  Bruno  was  getting  sleepier 
and  sleepier.  "  Sing,  sing  !  "  he  murmured  fret- 
fully. Sylvie  looked  to  me  for  instructions. 
"  What  shall  it  be  ?  "  she  said. 

"  Could  you  sing  him  the  nursery-song  you 
once  told  me  of  ?  "  I  suggested.  "  The  one 
that  had  been  put  through  the  mind-mangle, 
you  know.  '  The  little  man  that  had  a  little 
gun}  I  think  it  was. ' 

"Why,  that  are  one  of  the  Professors 
songs  !  "  cried  Bruno.  "  I  likes  the  little  man  ; 

and  I  likes  the  way  they  spinned  him like  a 

teetle-totle-tum."  And  he  turned  a  loving  look 
on  the  gentle  old  man  who  was  sitting  at  the 
other  side  of  his  leaf-bed,  and  who  instantly 
began  to  sing,  accompanying  himself  on  his 
Outlandish  guitar,  while  the  snail,  on  which  he 
sat,  waved  its  horns  in  time  to  the  music. 


XVIl] 


TO    THE    RESCUE! 


265 


In  stature  the  Manlet  was  dwarfish — 
No  burly  big  Blunderbore  he  : 

And  he  wearily  gazed  on  tJie  cra^vfish 
His   Wifelet  had  dressed  for  his  tea. 

"  Now  reach  me,  sweet  Atom,  my  gunlet, 
And  hurl  tJie  old  -shoelet  for  luck  : 

Let  me  hie  to  the  bank  of  the  runlet, 
And  shoot  thee  a  Duck  !  " 


She  has  reached  him  his  minikin  gunlet : 
She  has  hurled  the  old  sJioelet  for  luck 

She  is  busily  baking  a  bunlet, 

To  welcome  him  Jioine  with  his  Duck. 


266          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

On  he  speeds,  never  wasting  a  wordlet, 

Though  thoughtlets  cling,  closely  as  wax, 
To  the  spot  iv/tere  the  beautiful  birdlet 
So  quietly  quacks. 


Where  the  Lobsterlet  lurks,  and  the  Crablet 

So  slowly  and  sleepily  crawls  : 
Where  the  Dolphins  at  home,  and  the  Dablet 

Pays  long  ceremonious  calls: 
Where  the  Grublet  is  sought  by  the  Froglet: 

Where  the  Frog  is  pursued  by  the  Duck : 
Where  tJie  Ducklct  is  chased  by  the  Doglet — 
So  runs  the  world's  hick  I 


XVJlJ 


TO    THE    RESCUE  ! 


267 


He  has  loaded  with  bullet  and  powder : 
His  footfall  is  noiseless  as  air : 

But  the    Voices  groiv  louder  and  louder. 
And  bellow,  and  bluster,  and  blare. 

They  bristle  before  him  and  after, 
They  flutter  above  and  below, 

Shrill  shriekings  of  lubberly  laughter, 
Weird  wailings  of  woe  ! 


They  echo  without  him,  wit  ft  in  him  : 

They  thrill  through  his  whiskers  and  beard: 

Like  a  teetotum  seeming  to  spin  him, 
With  sneers  never  hitherto  sneered. 


268          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Avengement"  they  cry,  "on  our  Foelet ! 

Let  the  Manikin  weep  for  our  wrongs  ! 
Let  its  drench  him,  from  toplet  to  toelet, 
With  Nursery-Songs  ! 


"  He  shall  mnse  upon  '  Hey  !  Diddle  !  Diddle  ! 

On  the  Cow  tJiat  surmounted  the  Moon  : 
He  shall  rave  of  the  Cat  and  tJie  Fiddle, 

And  the  Dish  tJiat  eloped  with  the  Spoon: 
A  nd  his  soul  shall  be  sad  for  the  Spider, 

When  Jlftss  Muffct  zvas  sipping  her  whey, 
That  so  tenderly  sat  down  beside  her, 
And  scared  her  away  ! 


xvil]  TO    THE    RESCUE  !  269 

"  The  music  of  Midsummer-madness 
Shall  sting  him  with  many  a  bite, 

Till,  in  rapture  of  rollicking  sadness, 
He  shall  groan  with  a  gloomy  delight : 

He  shall  swathe  him,  like  mists  of  the  morning, 
In  platitudes  luscious  and  limp, 

Such  as  deck,  with  a  deathless  adorning, 
The  Song  of  the  Shrimp  ! 


"  When  the  Duck  let's  dark  doom  is  decided, 
We  will  trundle  him  home  in  a  trice  : 

And  the  banquet,  so  plainly  provided, 
Shall  round  into  rose-buds  and  rice : 

In  a  blaze  of  pragmatic  invention 

He  shall  wrestle  with  Fate,  and  shall  reign 

But  he  has  not  a  friend  fit  to  mention, 
So  hit  him  again  !  " 


He  has  shot  it,  the  delicate  darling! 

And  tJte  Voices  have  ceased  from  their  strife 
Not  a  whisper  of  sneering  or  snarling, 

As  he  carries  it  home  to  his  wife: 
Then,  cheerily  champing  the  bunlet 

His  spouse  was  so  skilful  to  bake, 
He  hies  him  once  more  to  the  runlet, 
To  fetch  her  the  Drake ! 


270          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  He's  sound  asleep  now,"  said  Sylvie,  care- 
fully tucking  in  the  edge  of  a  violet-leaf,  which 
she  had  been  spreading  over  him  as  a  sort  of 
blanket:  "good  night!" 

"  Good  night !  "  I  echoed. 

"  You  may  well  say  '  good  night ' !  "  laughed 
Lady  Muriel,  rising  and  shutting  up  the  piano 

as  she  spoke.  When  you've  been  nid nid 

nodding  all  the  time  I've  been  singing  for 

your  benefit !  What  was  it  all  about,  now  ?  " 
she  demanded  imperiously. 

"  Something  about  a  duck  ? "  I  hazarded. 
"Well,  a  bird  of  some  kind?"  I  corrected 
myself,  perceiving  at  once  that  that  guess  was 
wrong,  at  any  rate. 

"Something  about  a  bird  of  some  kind!" 
Lady  Muriel  repeated,  with  as  much  withering 
scorn  as  her  sweet  face  was  capable  of  con- 
veying. "  And  that's  the  way  he  speaks  of 
Shelley's  Sky- Lark,  is  it?  When  the  Poet 
particularly  says  '  Hail  to  theey  blithe  spirit ! 
Bird  thou  never  wert ! ' 

She  led  the  way  to  the  smoking-room,  where, 
ignoring  all  the  usages  of  Society  and  all  the 
instincts  of  Chivalry,  the  three  Lords  of  the 


XVII] 


TO    THE    RESCUE! 


271 


Creation  reposed  at  their  ease  in  low  rocking- 
chairs,  and  permitted  the  one  lady  who  was 
present  to  glide  gracefully  about  among  us, 
supplying  our  wants  in  the  form  of  cooling 
drinks,  cigarettes,  and  lights.  Nay,  it  was  only 
one  of  the  three  who  had  the  chivalry  to  go 


272          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

beyond  the  common-place  "  thank  you,"  and  to 
quote  the  Poet's  exquisite  description  of  how 
Geraint,  when  waited  on  by  Enid,  was  moved 

"  To  stoop  and  kiss  the  tender  little  thumb 
TJiat  crossed  the  platter  as  she  laid  it  down" 

and  to  suit  the  action  to  the  word an  auda- 
cious liberty  for  which,  I  feel  bound  to  report, 
he  was  not  duly  reprimanded. 

As  no  topic  of  conversation  seemed  to  occur 
to  any  one,  and  as  we  were,  all  four,  on  those 
delightful  terms  with  one  another  (the  only 
terms,  I  think,  on  which  any  friendship,  that 
deserves  the  name  of  intimacy,  can  be  main- 
tained) which  involve  no  sort  of  necessity  for 
speaking  for  mere  speaking's  sake,  we  sat  in 
silence  for  some  minutes. 

At  length  I  broke  the  silence  by  asking  "  Is 
there  any  fresh  news  from  the  harbour  about 
the  Fever  ?" 

"  None  since  this  morning,"  the  Earl  said, 
looking  very  grave.  "  But  that  was  alarming 
enough.  The  Fever  is  spreading  fast  :  the 
London  doctor  has  taken  fright  and  left  the 
place,  and  the  only  one  now  available  isn't  a 


xvn]  TO    THE    RESCUE!  273 

regular  doctor  at  all  :  he  is  apothecary,  and 
doctor,  and  dentist,  and  I  don't  know  what 
other  trades,  all  in  one.  It's  a  bad  outlook 

for  those  poor  fishermen and  a  worse  one 

for  all  the  women  and  children." 

"  How  many  are  there  of  them  altogether  ? " 
Arthur  asked. 

"  There  were  nearly  one  hundred,  a  week 
ago,"  said  the  Earl:  "but  there  have  been 
twenty  or  thirty  deaths  since  then." 

"And  what  religious  ministrations  are  there 
to  be  had  ?  " 

"  There  are  three  brave  men  down  there," 
the  Earl  replied,  his  voice  trembling  with  emo- 
tion, "  gallant  heroes  as  ever  won  the  Victoria 
Cross  !  I  am  certain  that  no  one  of  the  three 
will  ever  leave  the  place  merely  to  save  his 
own  life.  There's  the  Curate  :  his  wife  is  with 
him  :  they  have  no  children.  Then  there's  the 
Roman  Catholic  Priest.  And  there's  the  Wes- 
leyan  Minister.  They  go  amongst  their  own 
flocks,  mostly ;  but  I'm  told  that  those  who 
are  dying  like  to  have  any  of  the  three  with 
them.  How  slight  the  barriers  seem  to  be 
that  part  Christian  from  Christian,  when  one 

T 


274      .    SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

has  to  deal  with  the  great  facts  of  Life  and  the 
reality  of  Death  !  " 

"So  it  must  be,  and  so  it  should  be— 
Arthur   was   beginning,    when    the    front-door 
bell  rang,  suddenly  and  violently. 

We  heard  the  front-door  hastily  opened,  and 
voices  outside  :  then  a  knock  at  the  door  of 
the  smoking-room,  and  the  old  house-keeper 
appeared,  looking  a  little  scared. 

"  Two  persons,  my  Lord,  to  speak  with  Dr. 
Forester." 

Arthur  stepped  outside  at  once,  and  we  heard 
his  cheery  "  Well,  my  men  ? "  but  the  answer 
was  less  audible,  the  only  words  I  could  dis- 
tinctly catch  being  "  ten  since  morning,  and  two 
more  just— 

'•'  But  there  is  a  doctor  there  ?  "  we  heard 
Arthur  say  :  and  a  deep  voice,  that  we  had  not 
heard  before,  replied  "  Dead,  Sir.  Died  three 
hours  ago." 

Lady  Muriel  shuddered,  and  hid  her  face  in 
her  hands :  but  at  this  moment  the  front-door 
was  quietly  closed,  and  we  heard  no  more. 

For  a  few  minutes  we  sat  quite  silent  :  then 
the  Earl  left  the  room,  and  soon  returned  to 


XVH]  TO    THE    RESCUE!  275 

tell  us  that  Arthur  had  gone  away  with  the 
two  fishermen,  leaving  word  that  he  would 
be  back  in  about  an  hour.  And,  true  enough, 

at  the  end  of  that  interval during  which 

very  little  was  said,  none  of  us  seeming  to 

have  the  heart  to  talk the  front-door  once 

more  creaked  on  its  rusty  hinges,  and  a  step 
was  heard  in  the  passage,  hardly  to  be  recog- 
nised as  Arthur's,  so  slow  and  uncertain  was 
it,  like  a  blind  man  feeling  his  way. 

He  came  in,  and  stood  before  Lady  Muriel, 
resting  one  hand  heavily  on  the  table,  and 
with  a  strange  look  in  his  eyes,  as  if  he  were 
walking  in  his  sleep. 

"  Muriel my  love—  "  he  paused,  and  his 

lips  quivered  :  but  after  a  minute  he  went  on 

more  steadily.  "  Muriel my  darling they 

—want  me down  in  the  harbour." 

"  Must  you  go  ? "  she  pleaded,  rising  and 
laying  her  hands  on  his  shoulders,  and  looking 
up  into  his  face  with  her  great  eyes  brimming 
over  with  tears.  "  Must  yoii  go,  Arthur  ?  It 
may  mean death  \  " 

He  met  her  gaze  without  flinching.  "  It 
does  mean  death,"  he  said,  in  a  husky  whisper : 

T     2 


276         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  but darling 1  am  called.  And  even  my 

life  itself—  His  voice  failed  him,  and  he 

said  no  more. 

For  a  minute  she  stood  quite  silent,  looking 
upwards  with  a  helpless  gaze,  as  if  even  prayer1 
were  now  useless,  while  her  features  worked 
and  quivered  with  the  great  agony  she  was 
enduring.  Then  a  sudden  inspiration  seemed 
to  come  upon  her  and  light  up  her  face  with 
a  strange  sweet  smile.  "  Your  life  ?"  she  re- 
peated. "It  is  not  yours  to  give ! " 

Arthur  had  recovered  himself  by  this  time, 
and  could  reply  quite  firmly,  "  That  is  true,"  he 
said.  "  It  is  not  mine  to  give.  It  is  yours,  now, 

my wife  that  is  to  be  !  And  you &&  you 

forbid  me  to  go  ?  Will  you  not  spare  me,  my 
own  beloved  one  ?  " 

Still  clinging  to  him,  she  laid  her  head  softly 
on  his  breast.  She  had  never  done  such  a 
thing  in  my  presence  before,  and  I  knew  how 
deeply  she  must  be  moved.  "  I  will  spare  you," 
she  said,  calmly  and  quietly,  "to  God." 

"And  to  God's  poor,':  he  whispered. 

"And  to  God's  poor,"  she  added.  "When 
must  it  be,  sweet  love  ?  " 


XVI  I] 


TO    THE    RESCUE! 


277 


"  To-morrow  morning,"  he  replied.  "  And  I 
have  much  to  do  before  then." 

And  then  he  told  us  how  he  had  spent  his 
hour  of  absence.  He  had  been  to  the  Vicarage, 
and  had  arranged  for  the  wedding  to  take  place 
at  eight  the  next  morning  (there  was  no  legal 
obstacle,  as  he  had,  some  time  before  this, 
obtained  a  Special  License)  in  the  little  church 


278          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

we  knew  so  well.  "  My  old  friend  here," 
indicating  me,  "  will  act  as  '  Best  Man,'  I  know  : 
your  father  will  be  there  to  give  you  away  : 

and and- you   will   dispense   with    bride's- 

maids,  my  darling  ?  " 

She  nodded  :  no  words  came. 

"  And  then  I  can  go  with  a  willing  heart — 

to  do  God's  work knowing  that  we  are  one 

—and  that  we  are  together  in  spirit,  though 

not  in   bodily  presence and   are  most  of  all 

together  when  we  pray !  Our  prayers  will  go 
up  together— 

"Yes,  yes!"  sobbed  Lady  Muriel.  "But 
you  must  not  stay  longer  now,  my  darling ! 
Go  home  and  take  some  rest.  You  will  need 
all  your  strength  to-morrow— 

14  Well,  I  will  go,"  said  Arthur.  "  We  will 
be  here  in  good  time  to-morrow.  Good  night, 
my  own  own  darling  !  " 

I  followed  his  example,  and  we  two  left  the 
house  together.  As  we  walked  back  to  our 
lodgings,  Arthur  sighed  deeply  once  or  twice, 

and  seemed    about   to    speak but   no  words 

came,  till  we  had  entered  the  house,  and  had 
lit  our  candles,  and  were  at  our  bedroom- 


xvn]  TO    THE    RESCUE  !  279 

doors.  Then  Arthur  said  "Good  night,  old 
fellow  !  God  bless  you  !  " 

"  God  bless  you  !  "  I  echoed,  from  the  very 
depths  of  my  heart. 

We  were  back  again  at  the  Hall  by  eight  in 
the  morning,  and  found  Lady  Muriel  and  the 
Earl,  and  the  old  Vicar,  waiting  for  us.  It  was 
a  strangely  sad  and  silent  party  that  walked  up 
to  the  little  church  and  back ;  and  I  could  not 
help  feeling  that  it  was  much  more  like  a  funeral 
than  a  wedding  :  to  Lady  Muriel  it  was  in  fact,  a 
funeral  rather  than  a  wedding,  so  heavily  did 
the  presentiment  weigh  upon  her  (as  she  told 
us  afterwards)  that  her  newly-won  husband  was 
going  forth  to  his  death. 

Then  we  had  breakfast ;  and,  all  too  soon, 
the  vehicle  was  at  the  door,  which  was  to  con- 
vey Arthur,  first  to  his  lodgings,  to  pick  up  the 
things  he  was  taking  with  him,  and  then  as 
far  towards  the  death-stricken  hamlet  as  it  was 
considered  safe  to  go.  One  or  two  of  the 
fishermen  were  to  meet  him  on  the  road,  to 
carry  his  things  the  rest  of  the  way. 

"  And  are  you  quite  sure  you  are  taking  all 
that  you  will  need  ? "  Lady  Muriel  a,sked. 


280         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  All  that  I  shall  need  as  a  doctor,  certainly. 
And  my  own  personal  needs  are  few  :  I  shall 
not  even  take  any  of  my  own  wardrobe- 
there  is  a  fisherman's  suit,  ready-made,  that 
is  waiting  for  me  at  my  lodgings.  I  shall 
only  take  my  watch,  and  a  few  books,  and— 

stay there  is  one  book  I  should  like  to  add, 

a  pocket-Testament to  use  at  the  bedsides 

of  the  sick  and  dying— 

"  Take  mine !  "  said  Lady  Muriel :  and  she 
ran  upstairs  to  fetch  it.  "It  has  nothing 
written  in  it  but  '  Muriel,'  "  she  said  as  she 
returned  with  it :  "  shall  I  inscribe— 

"  No,  my  own  one,"  said  Arthur,  taking  it 
from  her.  ' '  What  could  you  inscribe  better 
than  that  ?  Could  any  human  name  mark  it 
more  clearly  as  my  own  individual  property  ? 
Are  you  not  mine  ?  Are  you  not,"  (with  all 
the  old  playfulness  of  manner)  "  as  Bruno 
would  say,  '  my  very  mine '  ? " 

He  bade  a  long  and  loving  adieu  to  the 
Earl  and  to  me,  and  left  the  room,  accompanied 
only  by  his  wife,  who  was  bearing  up  bravely, 

and  was outwardly,  at  least less  overcome 

than  her  old  father.     We  waited  in  the  room  a 


xvil]  TO    THE    RESCUE!  281 

minute  or  two,  till  the  sound  of  wheels  had  told 
us  that  Arthur  had  driven  away ;  and  even 
then  we  waited  still,  for  the  step  of  Lady 
Muriel,  going  upstairs  to  her  room,  to  die  away 
in  the  distance.  Her  step,  usually  so  light 
and  joyous,  now  sounded  slow  and  weary,  like 
one  who  plods  on  under  a  load  of  hopeless 
misery ;  and  I  felt  almost  as  hopeless,  and 
almost  as  wretched,  as  she.  "Are  we  four 
destined  ever  to  meet  again,  on  this  side  the 
grave  ? "  I  asked  myself,  as  I  walked  to  my 
home.  And  the  tolling  of  a  distant  bell  seemed 
to  answer  me,  "No!  No  I  No!" 


CHAPTER   XVIII. 

A    NEWSPAPER-CUTTING. 
EXTRACT  FROM   THE  "  FAY  FIELD   CHRONICLE? 

Our  readers  will  have  followed  with  painful 
interest,  the  accounts  we  have  from  time  to  time 
piiblished  of  the  terrible  epidemic  which  has, 
ditring  the  last  two  months,  carried  off  most  of 
the  inhabitants  of  the  little  fishing-harbour  ad- 
joining the  village  of  Elveston.  The  last  sur- 
vivors, numbering  twenty-three  only,  oztt  of  a 
population  which,  three  short  months  ago,  ex- 
ceeded one  hundred  and  twenty,  were  removed 
on  Wednesday  last,  under  the  authority  of  the 


xvm]  A    NEWSPAPER-CUTTING.  283 

Local  Board,  and  safely  lodged  in  the  County 
Hospital :  and  the  place  is  now  veritably  '  a  city 
of  the  dead}  without  a  single  human  voice  to 
break  its  silence. 

The  rescuing  party  consisted  of  six  sturdy 
fellows -fishermen  from  the  neighbourhood- 
directed  by  the  resident  Physician  of  the  Hos- 
pital, who  came  over  for  that  purpose,  heading  a 
train  of  hospital-ambulances.  The  six  men  had 
been  selected — -from  a  mucJi  larger  number  who 
had  volunteered  for  this  peace f^d  'forlorn  hope  ' 

—for  their  strength  and  robust  health,  as  the 
expedition  was  considered  to  be,  even  now,  when 
the  malady  has  expended  its  chief  force,  not 
unattended  with  danger. 

Every  precaution  that  science  could  suggest, 
against  the  risk  of  infection,  was  adopted :  and 
the  sufferers  were  tenderly  carried  on  litters, 
one  by  one,  up  the  steep  hill,  and  placed  in  the 
ambulances  which,  each  provided  with  a  hospital 
nurse,  were  waiting  on  the  level  road.  The 
fifteen  miles,  to  the  Hospital,  were  done  at  a 
walking-pace,  as  some  of  the  patients  were  in  too 
prostrate  a  condition  to  bear  jolting,  and  the 
journey  occupied  the  whole  afternoon. 


284          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

The  twenty-three  patients  consist  of  nine  men, 
six  women,  and  eight  children.  It  has  not  been 
found  possible  to  identify  them  all,  as  some  of 
the  children — -left  with  no  surviving  relatives 
— are  infants ;  and  two  men  and  one  woman 
are  not  yet  able  to  make  rational  replies,  the 
brain-powers  being  entirely  in  abeyance.  Among 
a  -more  well-to-do-race,  there  would  no  doubt 
have  been  names  marked  on  the  clothes;  but 
here  no  such  evidence  is  forthcoming. 

Besides  the  poor  fishermen  and  their  families, 
there  were  b^lt  five  persons  to  be  accounted  for : 
and  it  was  ascertained,  beyond  a  doubt,  that  all 
five  are  numbered  with  the  dead.  It  is  a  melan- 
choly pleasure  to  place  on  record  the  names  of 

these  genuine  martyrs than  whom  none,  surely, 

are  more  worthy  to  be  entered  on  the  glory-roll 
of  England s  heroes  !     They  are  as  follows  :— 

The  Rev.  James  Biirgess,  M.A.,  and  Emma 
his  wife.  He  was  the  Curate  at  the  Harbour, 
not  thirty  years  old,  and  had  been  married  only 
two  years.  A  written  record  was  found  in 
their  house,  of  the  dates  of  -their  deaths. 

Next  to  theirs  we  will  place  the  honoured 
name  of  Dr.  Arthur  Forester,  who,  on  the  death 


xvm]  A    NEWSPAPER-CUTTING.  285 

of  the  local  physician,  nobly  faced  the  imminent 
peril  of  death,  rather  than  leave  these  poor  folk 
uncared  for  in  their  last  extremity.  No  record 
of  his  name,  or  of  the  date  of  his  death,  was 
found:  but  the  corpse  was  easily  identified, 
although  dressed  in  the  ordinary  fisherman  s 
suit  (which  he  was  known  to  have  adopted  when 
he  went  down  there],  by  a  copy  of  the  New 
Testament,  the  gift  of  his  wife,  which  was 
found,  placed  next  his  heart,  with  his  hands 
crossed  over  it.  It  was  not  thoiight  prudent  to 
remove  the  body,  for  burial  elsewhere :  and  ac- 
cordingly it  was  at  once  committed  to  the  gro2ind, 
along  with  four  others  found  in  different  houses, 
with  all  diie  reverence.  His  wife,  whose  maiden 
name  was  Lady  Muriel  Orme,  had  been  married 
to  him  on  the  very  morning  on  which  he  under- 
took his  self-sacrificing  mission. 

Next  we  record  the  Rev.  Walter  Saunders, 
Wesley  an  Minister.  His  death  is  believed  to 
have  taken  place  two  or  three  weeks  ago,  as  the 
words  '  Died  October  5  '  were  found  written  on 
the  wall  of  the  room  which  he  is  known  to  have 
occupied the  house  being  shut  up,  and  appar- 
ently not  having  been  entered  for  some  time. 


286          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Last though  not  a  whit  behind  the  other 

four  in  glorious  self-denial  and  devotion  to  duty 

—let  us  record  the  name  of  Father  Francis, 
a  young  fe suit  Priest  who  had  been  only  a  few 
months  in  the  place.  He  had  not  been  dead 
many  hours  when  the  exploring  party  came  2ipon 
the  body,  which  was  identified,  beyond  the  possi- 
bility of  doubt,  by  the  dress,  and  by  the  crucifix, 
which  was,  like  the  young  Doctor  s  Testament, 
clasped  closely  to  his  heart. 

Since  reaching  the  hospital,  two  of  the  men 
and  one  of  the  children  have  died.  Hope  is  en- 
tertained for  all  the  others :  though  there  are 
two  or  three  cases  where  the  vital  powers  seem 
to  be  so  entirely  exhausted  that  it  is  but  '  hoping 
against  hope '  to  regard  ultimate  recovery  as 
even  possible. 


CHAPTER   XIX. 

A    FAIRY-DUET. 

THE  year what  an  eventful  year  it  had 

been  for  me  ! was  drawing  to  a  close,  and 

the  brief  wintry  day  hardly  gave  light  enough 
to  recognise  the  old  familiar  objects,  bound  up 
with  so  many  happy  memories,  as  the  train 
glided  round  the  last  bend  into  the  station, 
and  the  hoarse  cry  of  "  Elveston  !  Elveston ! " 
resounded  along  the  platform. 

It  was  sad  to  return  to  the  place,  and  to 
feel  that  I  should  never  again  see  the  glad 
smile  of  welcome,  that  had  awaited  me  here 
so  few  months  ago.  "And  yet,  if  I  were  to 


288          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED 

find  him  here,"  I  muttered,  as  in  solitary  state 
I  followed  the  porter,  who  was  wheeling  my 
luggage  on  a  barrow,  "and  if  he  were  to  'strike 
a  sudden  hand  in  mine,  And  ask  a  thousand 

things  of  home',    I  should  not no,  '  /  should 

not  feel  u  to  be  strange '  /  " 

Having  given  directions  to  have  my  luggage 
taken  to  my  old  lodgings,  I  strolled  off  alone, 
to  pay  a  visit,  before  settling  down  in  my  own 

quarters,  to   my  dear  old  friends for  such   I 

indeed   felt  them  to  be,  though  it  was  barely 

half  a  year  since  first  we  met the  Earl  and 

his  widowed  daughter. 

The  shortest  way,  as  I  well  remembered,  was 
to  cross  through  the  churchyard.  I  pushed 
open  the  little  wicket-gate  and  slowly  took  my 
way  among  the  solemn  memorials  of  the  quiet 
dead,  thinking  of  the  many  who  had,  during 
the  past  year,  disappeared  from  the  place,  and 
had  gone  to  'join  the  majority.'  A  very  few 
steps  brought  me  in  sight  of  the  object  of  my 
search.  Lady  Muriel,  dressed  in  the  deepest 
mourning,  her  face  hidden  by  a  long  crape  veil, 
was  kneeling  before  a  little  marble  cross,  round 
which  she  was  fastening  a  wreath  of  flowers. 


xix]  A    FAIRY- DUET.  289 

The  cross  stood  on  a  piece  of  level  turf,  un- 
broken by  any  mound,  and  I  knew  that  it  was 
simply  a  memorial-cross,  for  one  whose  dust 
reposed  elsewhere,  even  before  reading  the 
simple  inscription  :— 


In  loving  Memory  of 
ARTHUR   FORESTER,    M.D. 

whose  mortal  remains  lie  buried  by  the  sea : 
whose  spirit  has  returned  to  God  who  gave  it. 


"©reater  lobe  fyatfj  no  man  tfjan  tfjts,  tfyat 
a  man  lag  iofon  tys  life  for  fjis  friends." 


She  threw  back  her  veil  on  seeing  me  ap- 
proach, and  came  forwards  to  meet  me,  with  a 
quiet  smile,  and  far  more  self-possessed  than  I 
could  have  expected. 

"  It  is  quite  like  old  times,  seeing  you  here 
again ! "  she  said,  in  tones  of  genuine  pleasure. 
"  Have  you  been  to  see  my  father  ? " 

"  No,"  I  said  :  "  I  was  on  my  way  there,  and 
came  through  here  as  the  shortest  way.  I 
hope  he  is  well,  and  you  also  ?  " 

"  Thanks,  we  are  both  quite  well.  And  you  ? 
Are  you  any  better  yet  ? " 

u 


2QQ         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"Not  much  better,  I  fear  :  but  no  worse,  I 
am  thankful  to  say." 

"  Let  us  sit  here  awhile,  and  have  a  quiet 
chat,"  she  said.  The  calmness almost  in- 
difference  of  her  manner  quite  took  me  by 

surprise.  I  little  guessed  what  a  fierce  restraint 
she  was  putting  upon  herself. 

"  One  can  be  so  quiet  here,"  she  resumed. 
"  I  come  here  every every  day." 

"  It  is  very  peaceful,"   I  said. 

"  You  got  my  letter  ?  " 

"  Yes,  but  I  delayed  writing.  It  is  so  hard 
to  say on  paper " 

"  I  know.  It  was  kind  of  you.  You  were 

with  us  when  we  saw  the  last  of She 

paused  a  moment,  and  went  on  more  hurriedly. 
"  I  went  down  to  the  harbour  several  times, 
but  no  one  knows  which  of  those  vast  graves  it 
is.  However,  they  showed  me  the  house  he 
died  in  :  that  was  some  comfort.  I  stood  in  the 
very  room  where where ."  She  strug- 
gled in  vain  to  go  on.  The  flood-gates  had 
given  way  at  last,  and  the  outburst  of  grief  was 
the  most  terrible  I  had  ever  witnessed.  Totally 
regardless  of  my  presence,  she  flung  herself 


XIX] 


A    FAIRY-DUET. 


down  on  the  turf,  burying  her  face  in  the  grass, 
and  with  her  hands  clasped  round  the  little 
marble  cross,  "  Oh,  my  darling,  my  darling ! " 
she  sobbed.  "  And  God  meant  your  life  to  be 
so  beautiful ! " 

I  was  startled  to  hear,  thus  repeated  by  Lady 
Muriel,  the  very  words  of  the  darling  child 
whom  I  had  seen  weeping  so  bitterly  over 
the  dead  hare.  Had  some  mysterious  influ- 
ence passed,  from  that  sweet  fairy-spirit,  ere 

u    2 


292          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

she  went  back  to  Fairyland,  into  the  human 
spirit  that  loved  her  so  dearly  ?  The  idea 
seemed  too  wild  for  belief.  And  yet,  are  there 
not  '  more  things  in  heaven  and  earth  than 
are  dreamt  of  in  oiir  philosophy '  ? 

"  God  meant  it  to  be  beautiful,"  I  whispered, 
"  and  surely  it  was  beautiful  ?  God's  purpose 
never  fails ! "  I  dared  say  no  more,  but  rose 
and  left  her.  At  the  entrance-gate  to  the 
Earl's  house  I  waited,  leaning  on  the  gate  and 
watching  the  sun  set,  revolving  many  memories 

—some  happy,  some  sorrowful until  Lady 

Muriel  joined  me. 

She  was  quite  calm  again  now.  "  Do  come 
in,"  she  said.  "  My  father  will  be  so  pleased 
to  see  you  !  " 

The  old  man  rose  from  his  chair,  with  a  smile, 
to  welcome  me  ;  but  his  self-command  was  far 
less  than  his  daughter's,  and  the  tears  coursed 
down  his  face  as  he  grasped  both  my  hands 
in  his,  and  pressed  them  warmly. 

My  heart  was  too  full  to  speak  ;  and  we  all 
sat  silent  for  a  minute  or  two.  Then  Lady 
Muriel  rang  the  bell  for  tea.  "  You  do  take 
five  o'clock  tea,  I  know ! "  she  said  to  me, 


xix]  A    FAIRY-DUET.  293 

with  the  sweet  playfulness  of  manner  I  remem- 
bered so  well,  "  even  though  you  cant  work 
your  wicked  will  on  the  Law  of  Gravity,  and 
make  the  teacups  descend  into  Infinite  Space, 
a  little  faster  than  the  tea  ! " 

This  remark  gave  the  tone  to  our  conversa- 
tion. By  a  tacit  mutual  consent,  we  avoided, 
during  this  our  first  meeting  after  her  great 
sorrow,  the  painful  topics  that  filled  our  thoughts, 
and  talked  like  light-hearted  children  who  had 
never  known  a  care. 

"  Did  you  ever  ask  yourself  the  question," 
Lady  Muriel  began,  a  propos  of  nothing, 
"  what  is  the  chief  advantage  of  being  a  Man 
instead  of  a  Dog  ?  " 

"  No,  indeed,"  I  said  :  "  but  I  think  there 
are  advantages  on  the  Dog's  side  of  the 
question,  as  well." 

"  No  doubt,"  she  replied,  with  that  pretty 
mock-gravity  that  became  her  so  well :  "  but, 
on  Mans  side,  the  chief  advantage  seems  to 
me  to  consist  in  having  pockets  !  It  was  borne 

in  upon  me upon  us,  I  should  say  ;  for  my 

father  and    I    were  returning  from  a  walk- 
only  yesterday.     We  met  a  dog  carrying  home 


294          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

a  bone.     What  it  wanted  it  for,  I've  no  idea: 
certainly  there  was  no  meat  on  it— 

A  strange  sensation  came  over  me,  that  I 
had  heard  all  this,  or  something  exactly  like 
it,  before :  and  I  almost  expected  her  next 
words  to  be  "  perhaps  he  meant  to  make  a 
cloak  for  the  winter  ? "  However  what  she 
really  said  was  "and  my  father  tried  to  ac- 
count for  it  by  some  wretched  joke  about  pro 
bono  publico.  Well,  the  dog  laid  down  the 

bone not    in    disgust    with    the    pun,    which 

would  have  shown  it  to  be  a  dog  of  taste- 
but  simply  to  rest  its  jaws,  poor  thing !  I 
did  pity  it  so  !  Won't  you  join  my  Charitable 
Association  for  supplying  dogs  with  pockets  ? 
How  would  you  like  to  have  to  carry  your 
walking-stick  in  your  mouth  ? " 

Ignoring  the  difficult  question  as  to  the 
raison  d£tre  of  a  walking-stick,  supposing  one 
had  no  hands,  I  mentioned  a  curious  instance, 
I  had  once  witnessed,  of  reasoning  by  a  dog. 
A  gentleman,  with  a  lady,  and  child,  and  a 
large  dog,  were  down  at  the  end  of  a  pier  on 
which  I  was  walking.  To  amuse  his  child, 
I  suppose,  the  gentleman  put  down  on  the 


Xixj  A    FAIRY-DUET.  295 

ground  his  umbrella  and  the  lady's  parasol, 
and  then  led  the  way  to  the  other  end  of  the 
pier,  from  which  he  sent  the  dog  back  for  the 
deserted  articles.  I  was  watching  with  some 
curiosity.  The  dog  came  racing  back  to  where 
I  stood,  but  found  an  unexpected  difficulty  in 
picking 'up  the  things  it  had  come  for.  With 
the  umbrella  in  its  mouth,  its  jaws  were  so 
far  apart  that  it  could  get  no  firm  grip  on  the 
parasol.  After  two  or  three  failures,  it  paused 
and  considered  the  matter. 

Then  it  put  down  the  umbrella  and  began 
with  the  parasol.  Of  course  that  didn't  open 
its  jaws  nearly  so  wide,  and  it  was  able  to 
get  a  good  hold  of  the  umbrella,  and  galloped 
off  in  triumph.  One  couldn't  doubt  that  it  had 
gone  through  a  real  train  of  logical  thought. 

"  I  entirely  agree  with  you,"  said  Lady 
Muriel  :  "but  don't  orthodox  writers  condemn 
that  view,  as  putting  Man  on  the  level  of  the 
lower  animals  ?  Don't  they  draw  a  sharp 
boundary-line  between  Reason  and  Instinct?" 

"  That  certainly  was  the  orthodox  view,  a 
generation  ago,"  said  the  Earl.  "  The  truth 
of  Religion  seemed  ready  to  stand  or  fall  with 


296          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

the  assertion  that  Man  was  the  only  reasoning 
animal.  But  that  is  at  an  end  now.  Man  can 

still   claim   certain    monopolies for   instance, 

such  a  use  of  language  as  enables  us  to  utilise 
the  work  of  many,  by  '  division  of  labour.' 
But  the  belief,  that  we  have  a  monopoly  of 
Reason,  has  long  been  swept  away.  Yet  no 
catastrophe  has  followed.  As  some  old  poet 
says,  '  God  is  where  he  was' ' 

"  Most  religious  believers  would  now  agree 
with  Bishop  Butler,"  said  I,  "and  not  reject 
a  line  of  argument,  even  if  it  led  straight  to 
the  conclusion  that  animals  have  some  kind 
of  soul,  which  survives  their  bodily  death." 

"  I  would  like  to  know  that  to  be  true  ! " 
Lady  Muriel  exclaimed.  "If  only  for  the  sake 
of  trie  poor  horses.  Sometimes  I've  thought 
that,  if  anything  could  make  me  cease  to  be- 
lieve in  a  God  of  perfect  justice,  it  would  be 
the  sufferings  of  horses without  guilt  to  de- 
serve it,  and  without  any  compensation ! " 

"  It  is  only  part  of  the  great  Riddle,"  said 
the  Earl,  "why  innocent  beings  ever  suffer.  It 

is  a  great  strain  on  Faith but  not  a  breaking 

strain,  I  think." 


xix]  A    FAIRY-DUET.  297 

"The  sufferings  of  horses"  I  said,  "are 
chiefly  caused  by  Mans  cruelty.  So  that  is 
merely  one  of  the  many  instances  of  Sin 
causing  suffering  to  others  than  the  Sinner 
himself.  But  don't  you  find  a  greater  diffi- 
culty in  sufferings  inflicted  by  animals  upon 
each  other  ?  For  instance,  a  cat  playing  with 
a  mouse.  Assuming  it  to  have  no  moral 
responsibility,  isn't  that  a  greater  mystery 
than  a  man  over-driving  a  horse  ? " 

"  I  think  it  is"  said  Lady  Muriel,  looking  a 
mute  appeal  to  her  father. 

"  What  right  have  we  to  make  that  assump- 
tion ?  "  said  the  Earl.  "  Many  of  our  religious 
difficulties  are  merely  deductions  from  unwar- 
ranted assumptions.  The  wisest  answer  to 
most  of  them,  is,  I  think,  '  behold,  we  know  not 
anything?  ': 

"  You  mentioned  '  division  of  labour,'  just 
now,"  I  said.  "  Surely  it  is  carried  to  a 
wonderful  perfection  in  a  hive  of  bees  ?  " 

"  So    wonderful so   entirely    super-human 

said  the  Earl,  "  and  so  entirely  incon- 
sistent with  the  intelligence  they  show  in  other 
ways that  I  feel  no  doubt  at  all  that  it  is 


298          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

pure  Instinct,  and  not,  as  some  hold,  a  very 
high  order  of  Reason.  Look  at  the  utter 
stupidity  of  a  bee,  trying  to  find  its  way  out  of 
an  open  window!  It  doesrit  try,  in  any  rea- 
sonable sense  of  the  word :  it  simply  bangs 
itself  about !  We  should  call  a  puppy  imbecile, 
that  behaved  so.  And  yet  we  are  asked  to 
believe  that  its  intellectual  level  is  above  Sir 
Isaac  Newton  !  " 

"Then  you  hold  that  pure  Instinct  contains 
no  Reason  at  all  ? " 

"  On  the  contrary,"  said  the  Earl,  "  I  hold 
that  the  work  of  a  bee-hive  involves  Reason  of 
the  highest  order.  But  none  of  it  is  done  by 
the  Bee.  God  has  reasoned  it  all  out,  and  has 
put  into  the  mind  of  the  Bee  the  conclusions, 
only,  of  the  reasoning  process." 

"  But  how  do  their  minds  come  to  work 
together?"  I  asked. 

"What  right  have  we  to  assume  that  they 
have  minds  ? " 

"  Special  pleading,  special  pleading  !  "  Lady 
Muriel  cried,  in  a  most  unfilial  tone  of  triumph. 
"  Why,  you  yourself  said,  just  now,  '  the  mind 
of  the  Bee'!" 


xix]  A    FAIRY- DUET.  299 

"But  I  did  not  say  ' minds,'  my  child,"  the 
Earl  gently  replied.  "It  has  occurred  to  me, 
as  the  most  probable  solution  of  the  '  Bee  '- 
mystery,  that  a  swarm  of  Bees  have  only  one 
mind  among  them.  We  often  see  one  mind 
animating  a  most  complex  collection  of  limbs 
and  organs,  when  joined  together.  How  do 
we  know  that  any  material  connection  is  neces- 
sary ?  May  not  mere  neighbourhood  be 
enough  ?  If  so,  a  swarm  of  bees  is  simply  a 
single  animal  whose  many  limbs  are  not  quite 
close  together !  " 

"  It  is  a  bewildering  thought,"  I  said,  "  and 
needs  a  night's  rest  to  grasp  it  properly.  Rea- 
son and  Instinct  both  tell  me  I  ought  to  go 
home.  So,  good-night !  " 

"  I'll  '  set '  you  part  of  the  way,"  said  Lady 
Muriel.  "  I've  had  no  walk  to-day.  It  will 
do  me  good,  and  I  have  more  to  say  to  you. 
Shall  we  go  through  the  wood  ?  It  will  be 
pleasanter  than  over  the  common,  even  though 
it  is  getting  a  little  dark." 

We  turned  aside  into  the  shade  of  interlacing 
boughs,  which  formed  an  architecture  of  almost 
perfect  symmetry,  grouped  into  lovely  groined 


300          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

arches,  or  running  out,  far  as  the  eye  could 
follow,  into  endless  aisles,  and  chancels,  and 
naves,  like  some  ghostly  cathedral,  fashioned 
out  of  the  dream  of  a  moon-struck  poet. 

"Always,  in  this  wood,"  she  began  after  a 
pause  (silence  seemed  natural  in  this  dim 
solitude),  "  I  begin  thinking  of  Fairies  !  May 
I  ask  you  a  question  ?  "  she  added  hesitatingly. 
"  Do  you  believe  in  Fairies  ?  " 

The  momentary  impulse  was  so  strong  to 
tell  her  of  my  experiences  in  this  very  wood, 
that  I  had  to  make  a  real  effort  to  keep  back 
the  words  that  rushed  to  my  lips.  "If  you 
mean,  by  '  believe,'  '  believe  in  their  possible 
existence,'  I  say 'Yes.'  For  their  actual  exist- 
ence, of  course,  one  would  need  evidence" 

"  You  were  saying,  the  other  day,"  she  went 
on,  "  that  you  would  accept  anything,  on  good 
evidence,  that  was  not  a  priori  impossible. 
And  I  think  you  named  Ghosts  as  an  instance 
of  a  provable  phenomenon.  Would  Fairies  be 
another  instance  ?  " 

"  Yes,  I  think  so."  And  again  it  was  hard 
to  check  the  wish  to  say  more  :  but  I  was  not 
yet  sure  of  a  sympathetic  listener. 


xix]  A    FAIRY-DUET.  301 

"And  have  you  any  theory  as  to  what  sort 
of  place  they  would  occupy  in  Creation  ?  Do 
tell  me  what  you  think  about  them  !  Would 
they,  for  instance  (supposing  such  beings  to 
exist),  would  they  have  any  moral  responsi- 
bility ?  I  mean  "  (and  the  light  bantering  tone 
suddenly  changed  to  one  of  deep  seriousness) 
"would  they  be  capable  of  sin?" 

"  They  can  reason on  a  lower  level,  per- 
haps, than  men  and  women never  rising,  I 

think,  above  the  faculties  of  a  child ;  and  they 
have  a  moral  sense,  most  surely.  Such  a 
being,  without  free  will,  would  be  an  absurdity. 
So  I  am  driven  to  the  conclusion  that  they 
are  capable  of  sin." 

"  You  believe  in  them  ?  "  she  cried  de- 
lightedly, with  a  sudden  motion  as  if  about  to 
clap  her  hands.  "  Now  tell  me,  have  you  any 
reason  for  it  ?  " 

And  still  I  strove  to  keep  back  the  revela- 
tion I  felt  sure  was  coming.  "  I  believe  that 

there  is  life  everywhere not  material  only, 

not  merely  what  is  palpable  to  our  senses but 

immaterial  and  invisible  as  well.  We  believe 
in  our  own  immaterial  essence call  it  '  soul,' 


302          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

or  '  spirit,'  or  what  you  will.  Why  should  not 
other  similar  essences  exist  around  us,  not 
linked  on  to  a  visible  and  material  body  ? 
Did  not  God  make  this  swarm  of  happy  in- 
sects, to  dance  in  this  sunbeam  for  one  hour  of 
bliss,  for  no  other  object,  that  we  can  imagine, 
than  to  swell .  the  sum  of  conscious  happiness  ? 
And  where  shall  we  dare  to  draw  the  line,  and 
say  '  He  has  made  all  these  and  no  more '  ? " 

"  Yes,  yes ! "  she  assented,  watching  me  with 
sparkling  eyes.  "  But  these  are  only  reasons 
for  not  denying.  You  have  more  reasons  than 
this,  have  you  not  ?  " 

"  Well,  yes,"  I  said,  feeling  I  might  safely 
tell  all  now.  "And  I  could  not  find  a  fitter 

time  or  place  to  say  it.     I   have  seen  them • 

and  in   this   very  wood  !  " 

Lady  Muriel  asked  no  more  questions.  Si- 
lently she  paced  at  my  side,  with  head  bowed 
down  and  hands  clasped  tightly  together. 
Only,  as  my  tale  went  on,  she  drew  a  little 
short  quick  breath  now  and  then,  like  a  child 
panting  with  delight.  And  I  told  her  what  I 
had  never  yet  breathed  to  any  other  listener, 
of  my  double  life,  and,  more  than  that  (for 


xix]  A    FAIRY-DUET.  303 

mine  might  have  been  but  a  noonday-dream), 
of  the  double  life  of  those  two  dear  children. 

And  when  I  told  her  of  Bruno's  wild  gambols, 
she  laughed  merrily  ;  and  when  I  spoke  of 
Sylvie's  sweetness  and  her  utter  unselfishness 
and  trustful  love,  she  drew  a  deep  breath,  like 
one  who  hears  at  last  some  precious  tidings  for 
which  the  heart  has  ached  for  a  long  while ; 
and  the  happy  tears  chased  one  another  down 
her  cheeks. 

"  I  have  often  longed  to  meet  an  angel,"  she 
whispered,  so  low  that  I  could  hardly  catch  the 
words.  "  I'm  so  glad  I've  seen  Sylvie  !  My 
heart  went  out  to  the  child  the  first  moment 

that  I  saw  her Listen  !  "    she  broke  off 

suddenly.     "  That's  Sylvie  singing  !     I'm  sure 
of  it !     Don't  you  know  her  voice  ? " 

"  I  have  heard  Brimo  sing,  more  than  once," 
I  said  :  "  but  I  never  heard  Sylvie." 

"  I  have  only  heard  her  once"  said  Lady- 
Muriel.  "  It  was  that  day  when  you  brought 
us  those  mysterious  flowers.  The  children 
had  run  out  into  the  garden  ;  and  I  saw  Eric 
coming  in  that  way,  and  went  to  the  window 
to  meet  him :  and  Sylvie  was  singing,  under 


304          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

the  trees,  a  song  I  had  never  heard  before. 
The  words  were  something  like  '  I  think  it  is 
Love,  I  feel  it  is  Love.'  Her  voice  sounded 
far  away,  like  a  dream,  but  it  was  beautiful 

beyond    all   words as    sweet    as    an    infant's 

first  smile,  or  the  first  gleam  of  the  white,  cliffs 
when  one  is  coming  home  after  weary  years 

a    voice    that    seemed  to    fill    one's    whole 

being   with  peace    and  heavenly   thoughts- 
Listen  ! "    she  cried,  breaking  off  again  in  her 
excitement.       "  That  is  her  voice,    and    that's 
the  very  song  !  " 

I  could  distinguish  no  words,  but  there  was 
a  dreamy  sense  of  music  in  the  air  that  seemed 
to  grow  ever  louder  and  louder,  as  if  coming 
nearer  to  us.  We  stood  quite  silent,  and  in 
another  minute  the  two  children  appeared, 
coming  straight  towards  us  through  an  arched 
opening  among  the  trees.  Each  had  an  arm 
round  the  other,  and  the  setting  sun  shed  a 
golden  halo  round  their  heads,  like  what  one 
sees  in  pictures  of  saints.  They  were  looking 
in  our  direction,  but  evidently  did  not  see  us, 
and  I  soon  made  out  that  Lady  Muriel  had 
for  once  passed  into  a  condition  familiar  to 


xix]  A    FAIRY-DUET.  305 

me,  that  we  were  both  of  us  '  eerie ',  and  that, 
though  we  could  see  the  children  so  plainly, 
we  were  quite  invisible  to  them. 

The  song  ceased  just  as  they  came  into 
sight :  but,  to  my  delight,  Bruno  instantly  said 
"  Let's  sing  it  all  again,  Sylvie  !  It  did  sound 
so  pretty ! "  And  Sylvie  replied  "  Very  well. 
It's  you  to  begin,  you  know." 

So  Bruno  began,  in  the  sweet  childish  treble 
I  knew  so  well : 

"Say,  what   is   tJie   spell,    when   her  fledgelings   are 

cheeping, 

That  hires  the  bird  home  to  her  nest  ? 
Or  ivakes  the  tired  mother,  whose  infant  is  weeping, 

To  cuddle  and  croon  it  to  rest? 
Whafs  the  magic  that  charms  the  glad  babe  in  her 

arms, 
Till  it  cooes  with  the  voice  of  the  dove  ? " 

And  now  ensued  quite  the  strangest  of  all 
the  strange  experiences  that  marked  the  won- 
derful year  whose  history  I  am  writing the 

experience  of  first   hearing    Sylvie's  voice  in 

song.     Her  part  was  a  very  short  one only  a 

few  words and  she  sang  it  timidly,  and  very 

low  indeed,  scarcely  audibly,  but  the  sweetness 

'x 


306          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

of  her  voice  was  simply  indescribable  ;  I  have 
never  heard  any  earthly  music  like  it. 

" '  Tis  a  secret,  and  so  let  ^^s  whisper  it  low — 
A  nd  the  name  of  the  secret  is  Love  !  " 

On  me  the  first  effect  of  her  voice  was  a 
sudden  sharp  pang  that  seemed  to  pierce 
through  one's  very  heart.  (I  had  felt  such  a 
pang  only  once  before  in  my  life,  and  it  had 
been  from  seeing  what,  at  the  moment,  realised 

one's    idea    of    perfect    beauty it    was    in    a 

London  exhibition,  where,  in  making  my  way 
through  a  crowd,  I  suddenly  met,  face  to  face, 
a  child  of  quite  unearthly  beauty.)  Then  came 
a  rush  of  burning  tears  to  the  eyes,  as  though 
one  could  weep  one's  soul  away  for  pure  de- 
light. And  lastly  there  fell  on  me  a  sense  of 

awe  that  was  almost  terror some  such  feeling 

as  Moses  must  have  had  when  he  heard  the 
words  "  Put  off  thy  shoes  from  off  thy  feet, 
for  the  place  whereon  thou  standest  is  holy 
ground"  The  figures  of  the  children  be- 
came vague  and  shadowy,  like  glimmering 
meteors :  while  their  voices  rang  together  in 
exquisite  harmony  as  they  sang :— 


Xix]  A    FAIRY-DUET.  307 

"  For  I  think  it  is  Love, 

For  I  feel  it  is  Love, 
For  Pm  sure  it  is  notJiing  but  Love!" 

By  this  time  I  could  see  them  clearly  once 
more.  Bruno  again  sang  by  himself: 

"  Say,    whence    is    the    voice   that,    when    anger    is 

burning, 

Bids  the  whirl  of  the  tempest  to  cease  ? 
That    stirs    the    vexed   soul   with    an    aching — a 

yearning 

For  the  brotherly  hand-grip  of  peace  ? 
Whence   the  music  that  fills  all  our  being — th fit- 
thrills 
A  round  us,  beneath,  and  above  ?  " 

Sylvie  sang  more  courageously,  this  time  : 
the  words  seemed  to  carry  her  away,  out  of 
herself  :— 

" '  Tis  a  secret :   none  knows  how  it  comes,  how  it 

goes  : 
But  the  name  of  the  secret  is  Love!" 

And  clear  and  strong  the  chorus  rang  out : — 

"  For  I  think  it  is  Love, 

For  I  feel  it  is  Love, 
For  I'm  sure  it  is  nothing  but  Love  ! " 

X    2 


308          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Once  more  we  heard   Bruno's  delicate  little 
voice  alone  : 

"  Say  whose  is  the  skill  that  paints  valley  and  hill, 

Like  a  picture  so  fair  to  the  sight  ? 
That  flecks  the  green  meadow  with  sunshine  and 

shadow, 
Till  the  little  lambs  leap  with  delight  ? " 

And  again  uprose  that  silvery  voice,  whose 
angelic  sweetness  I  could  hardly  bear  : 

"'Tts  a  secret  untold  to  hearts  cruel  and  cold, 

Though  'tis  siing,  by  the  angels  above, 
In    notes    that    ring  clear  for  the   ears    that  can 

hear — 
And  the  name  of  the  secret  is  Love!" 

And  then  Bruno  joined  in  again  with 

"  For  I  think  it  is  Love, 

For  I  feel  it  is  Love, 
For  I'm  sure  it  is  nothing  but  Love!" 

"  That  are  pretty !  "  the  little  fellow  exclaimed, 

as  the  children  passed  us so  closely  that  we 

drew  back  a  little  to  make  room  for  them,  and 
it  seemed  we  had  only  to  reach  out  a  hand  to 
touch  them  :  but  this  we  did  not  attempt. 


xix]  A    FAIRY-DUET.  309 

"  No  use  to  try  and  stop  them ! "  I  said,  as 
they  passed  away  into  the  shadows.  "Why, 
they  could  not  even  see  us  !  " 

"  No  use  at  all,"  Lady  Muriel  echoed  with  a 
sigh.  "  One  would  like  to  meet  them  again,  in 
living  form  !  But  I  feel,  somehow,  that  can 
never  be.  They  have  passed  out  of  our  lives  !  " 
She  sighed  again  ;  and  no  more  was  said,  till 
we  came  out  into  the  main  road,  at  a  point 
near  my  lodgings. 

"Well,  I  will  leave  you  here,"  she  said.  "  I 
want  to  get  back  before  dark :  and  I  have  a 
cottage-friend  to  visit,  first.  Good  night,  dear 

friend  !  Let  us  see  you  soon and  often !  " 

she  added,  with  an  affectionate  warmth  that 
went  to  my  very  heart.  "For  those  are  few 
we  hold  as  dear  !  " 

"  Good  night !  "  I  answered.  "  Tennyson 
said  that  of  a  worthier  friend  than  me." 

"  Tennyson  didn't  know  what  he  was  talking 
about ! "  she  saucily  rejoined,  with  a  touch  of 
her  old  childish  gaiety  ;  and  we  parted. 


CHAPTER    XX. 

GAMMON     AND     SPINACH. 

MY  landlady's  welcome  had  an  extra  hearti- 
ness about  it :  and  though,  with  a  rare  delicacy 
of  feeling,  she  made  no  direct  allusion  to  the 
friend  whose  companionship  had  done  so  much 
to  brighten  life  for  me,  I  felt  sure  that  it  was  a 
kindly  sympathy  with  my  solitary  state  that 
made  her  so  specially  anxious  to  do  all  she 
could  think  of  to  ensure  my  comfort,  and  make 
me  feel  at  home. 

The  lonely  evening  seemed  long  and  tedious  : 
yet  I  lingered  on,  watching  the  dying  fire,  and 
letting  Fancy  mould  the  red  embers  into  the 


xx]  GAMMON    AND    SPINACH.  311 

forms  and  faces  belonging  to  bygone  scenes. 
Now  it  seemed  to  be  Bruno's  roguish  smile 
that  sparkled  for  a  moment,  and  died  away  : 
now  it  was  Sylvie's  rosy  cheek  :  and  now  the 
Professor's  jolly  round  face,  beaming  with  deT 
light.  "  You're  welcome,  my  little  ones  !  "  he 
seemed  to  say.  And  then  the  red  coal,  which 
for  the  moment  embodied  the  dear  old  Pro- 
fessor, began  to  wax  dim,  and  with  its  dying 
lustre  the  words  seemed  to  die  away  into  si- 
lence. I  seized  the  poker,  and  with  an  artful 
touch  or  two  revived  the  waning  glow,  while 

Fancy no  coy  minstrel  she sang  me  once 

again  the  magic  strain  I  loved  to  hear. 

"  You're  welcome,  little  ones  ! "  the  cheery 
voice  repeated.  "  I  told  them  you  were 
coming.  Your  rooms  are  all  ready  for  you. 

And  the  Emperor  and  the  Empress well, 

I  think  they're  rather  pleased  than  otherwise ! 
In  fact,  Her  Highness  said  '  I  hope  they'll  be 
in  time  for  the  Banquet ! '  .  Those  were  her 
very  words,  I  assure  you  !  " 

"Will  Uggug  be  at  the  Banquet?"  Bruno 
asked.  And  both  children  looked  uneasy  at  the 
dismal  suggestion. 


312          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Why,  of  course  he  will  !  "  chuckled  the  Pro- 
fessor. "  Why,  it's  his  birthday,  don't  you 
know  ?  And  his  health  will  be  drunk,  and  all 
that  sort  of  thing.  What  would  the  Banquet  be 
without  him  ?  " 

"  Ever  so  much  nicer,"  said  Bruno.  But  he 
said  it  in  a  very  low  voice,  and  nobody  but 
Sylvie  heard  him. 

The  Professor  chuckled  again.  "  It'll  be  a 
jolly  Banquet,  now  you've  come,  my  little  man  ! 
I  am  so  glad  to  see  you  again  ! " 

"  I  'fraid  we've  been  very  long  in  coming," 
Bruno  politely  remarked. 

"  Well,  yes,"  the  Professor  assented.  "  How- 
ever, you're  very  short  now  you're  come  :  that's 
some  comfort."  And  he  went  on  to  enumerate 
the  plans  for  the  day.  "  The  Lecture  comes 
first,"  he  said.  "  That  the  Empress  insists  on. 
She  says  people  will  eat  so  much  at  the  Ban- 
quet, they'll  be  too  sleepy  to  attend  to  the 

Lecture  afterwards and  perhaps  she's  right. 

There'll  just  be  a  little  refreshment,  when  the 

people    first    arrive as    a   kind    of    surprise 

for    the    Empress,    you    know.       Ever    since 
she's  been well,   not  quite  so  clever  as  she 


xx]  GAMMON    AND    SPINACH.  313 

once  was we've  found  it  desirable  to  con- 
coct little  surprises  for  her.  Then  comes  the 
Lecture 

"  What  ?  The  Lecture  you  were  getting 
ready ever  so  long  ago  ? "  Sylvie  enquired. 

"  Yes that's  the  one,"  the  Professor  rather 

reluctantly  admitted.  "  It  has  taken  a  goodish 
time  to  prepare.  I've  got  so  many  other 
things  to  attend  to.  For  instance,  I'm  Court- 
Physician.  I  have  to  keep  all  the  Royal 

Servants  in  good  health and  that  reminds 

me ! "  he  cried,  ringing  the  bell  in  a  great 
hurry.  "  This  is  Medicine-Day !  We  only 
give  Medicine  once  a  week.  If  we  were  to 
begin  giving  it  every  day,  the  bottles  would 
soon  be  empty !  " 

"  But  if  they  were  ill  on  the  other  days  ? " 
Sylvie  suggested. 

"  What,  ill  on  the  wrong  day  /"  exclaimed 
the  Professor.  "  Oh,  that  would  never  do ! 
A  Servant  would  be  dismissed  at  once,  who 
was  ill  on  the  wrong  day  !  This  is  the  Medi- 
cine for  today,"  he  went  on,  taking  down  a 
large  jug  from  a  shelf.  "  I  mixed  it,  myself, 
first  thing  this  morning.  Taste  it ! "  he  said, 


314          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

holding  out  the  jug  to  Bruno.  "  Dip  in  your 
finger,  and  taste  it !  " 

Bruno  did  so,  and  made  such  an  excru- 
ciatingly wry  face  that  Sylvie  exclaimed,  in 
alarm,  "  Oh,  Bruno,  you  mustn't ! " 

"It's  welly  extremely  nasty!"  Bruno  said, 
as  his  face  resumed  its  natural  shape. 

"Nasty?"  said  the  Professor.  "Why,  of 
course  it  is !  What  would  Medicine  be,  if  it 
wasn't  nasty  ?  " 

"  Nice,"  said  Bruno. 

"  I  was  going  to  say—  the  Professor 
faltered,  rather  taken  aback  by  the  prompt- 
ness of  Bruno's  reply,  " that  that  would 

never  do !  Medicine  has  to  be  nasty,  you 
know.  Be  good  enough  to  take  this  jug, 
down  into  the  Servants'  Hall,"  he  said  to  the 
footman  who  answered  the  bell  :  "  and  tell 
them  it's  their  Medicine  for  today" 

11  Which  of  them  is  to  drink  it  ?  "  the  foot- 
man asked,  as  he  carried  off  the  jug. 

"Oh,  I've  not  settled  that  yet!"  the  Pro- 
fessor briskly  replied.  "  I'll  come  and  settle 
that,  soon.  Tell  them  not  to  begin,  on  any 
account,  till  I  come!  It's  really  wonderful" 


XX]  GAMMON    AND    SPINACH.  315 

he  said,  turning  to  the  children,  "the  suc- 
cess I've  had  in  curing  Diseases!  Here  are 
some  of  my  memoranda."  He  took  down 
from  the  shelf  a  heap  of  little  bits  of  paper, 
pinned  together  in  twos  and  threes.  "Just 
look  at  this  set,  now.  '  Under-Cook  Number 
Thirteen  recovered  from  Common  Fever — Fe- 
bris  Communist  And  now  see  what's  pinned 
to  it.  '  Gave  Under-Cook  Number  Thirteen  a 
Double  Dose  of  Medicine'  That ' s  something 
to  be  proud  of,  isnt  it  ?  " 

"But  which  happened  first  ?"  said  Sylvie, 
looking  very  much  puzzled. 

The  Professor  examined  the  papers  care- 
fully. "They  are  not  dated,  I  find,"  he  said 
with  a  slightly  dejected  air  :  "  so  I  fear  I  ca'n't 
tell  you.  But  they  both  happened  :  there's  no 
doubt  of  that.  The  Medicine  s  the  great  thing, 
you  know.  The  Diseases  are  much  less  im- 
portant. You  can  keep  a  Medicine,  for  years 
and  years  :  but  nobody  ever  wants  to  keep 
a  Disease !  By  the  way,  come  and  look  at 
the  platform.  The  Gardener  asked  me  to 
come  and  see  if  it  would  do.  We  may  as 
well  go  before  it  gets  dark." 


316         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  We'd  like  to,  very  much  ! "  Sylvie  replied. 
"  Come,  Bruno,  put  on  your  hat.  Don't  keep 
the  dear  Professor  waiting!" 

"Can't  find  my  hat!"  the  little  fellow  sadly 
replied.  "  I  were  rolling  it  about.  And  it's 
rolled  itself  away ! " 

"  Maybe  it's  rolled  in  there"  Sylvie  sug- 
gested, pointing  to  a  dark  recess,  the  door  of 
which  stood  half  open  :  and  Bruno  ran  in  to 
look.  After  a  minute  he  came  slowly  out 
again,  looking  very  grave,  and  carefully  shut 
the  cupboard-door  after  him. 

"  It  aren't  in  there,"  he  said,  with  such  un- 
usual solemnity,  that  Sylvie's  curiosity  was 
roused. 

"  What  is  in  there,  Bruno  ? " 

"  There's    cobwebs and    two    spiders- 
Bruno   thoughtfully  replied,    checking   off  the 

catalogue  on    his    fingers,    " and   the  cover 

of  a    picture-book and    a   tortoise and    a 

dish  of  nuts and   an   old   man." 

"An  old  man!"  cried  the  Professor,  trotting 
across  the  room  in  great  excitement.  "  Why, 
it  must  be  the  Other  Professor,  that's  been  lost 
for  ever  so  long ! " 


XX] 


GAMMON    AND    SPINACH. 


317 


He  opened  the 
door  of  the  cup- 
board wide :  and 
there  he  was,  the 
Other  Professor, 
sitting  in  a  chair, 
with  a  book  on 
his  knee,  and  in 
the  act  of  help- 
ing himself  to  a 
nut  from  a  dish, 
which  he  had  ta- 
ken down  off  a 
shelf  just  within 
his  reach.  He 
looked  round  at 
us,  but  said  nothing  till  he  had  cracked  and 
eaten  the  nut.  Then  he  asked  the  old  ques- 
tion. "  Is  the  Lecture  all  ready?" 

"  It'll  begin  in  an  hour,"  the  Professor  said, 
evading  the  question.  "  First,  we  must  have 
something  to  surprise  the  Empress.  And  then 

comes  the  Banquet 

"  The  Banquet !  "  cried  the  Other  Professor, 
springing  up,  and  filling  the  room  with  a  cloud 


318          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

of  dust.     Then  I'd  better  go  and and  brush 

myself  a  little.     What  a  state  I'm  in  ! " 

"  He  does  want  brushing ! "  the  Professor 
said,  with  a  critical  air,  "  Here's  your  hat,  little 
man!  I  had  put  it  on  by  mistake.  I'd  quite 
forgotten  I  had  one  on,  already.  Let's  go 
and  look  at  the  platform." 

"And  there's  that  nice  old  Gardener  sing- 
ing still!"  Bruno  exclaimed  in  delight,  as  we 
went  out  into  the  garden.  "  I  do  believe  he's 
been  singing  that  very  song  ever  since  we 
went  away ! " 

"  Why,  of  course  he  has ! "  replied  the  Pro- 
fessor. "It  wouldn't  be  the  thing  to  leave  off, 
you  know." 

"  Wouldn't  be  what  thing  ? "  said  Bruno  : 
but  the  Professor  thought  it  best  not  to  hear 
the  question.  "  What  are  you  doing  with  that 
hedgehog  ? "  he  shouted  at  the  Gardener,  whom 
they  found  standing  upon  one  foot,  singing 
softly  to  himself,  and  rolling  a  hedgehog  up 
and  down  with  the  other  foot. 

"Well,  I  wanted  fur  to  know  what  hedge- 
hogs lives  on  :  so  I  be  a-keeping  this  here 
hedgehog fur  to  see  if  it  eats  potatoes— 


xx]  GAMMON    AND    SPINACH.  319 

"  Much  better  keep  a  potato,"  said  the  Pro- 
fessor ;  "  and  see  if  hedgehogs  eat  it !  " 

"That  be  the  roight  way,  sure-ly!"  the  de- 
lighted Gardener  exclaimed.  "  Be  you  come 
to  see  the  platform  ?  " 

"Aye,  aye!"  the  Professor  cheerily  replied 
"  And  the  children  have  come  back,  you  see ! " 

The  Gardener  looked  round  at  them  with  a 
grin.  Then  he  led  the  way  to  the  Pavilion  ; 
and  as  he  went  he  sang  :— 

"He  looked  again,  and  found  it  was 

A  Double  Rule  of  Three  : 
' And  all  its  Mystery'  he  said, 
Is  clear  as  day  to  me  ! ' ' 

"  You've  been  months  over  that  song,"  said 
the  Professor.  "  Isn't  it  finished  yet  ?" 

"  There  be  only  one  verse  more,"  the  Gar- 
dener sadly  replied.  And,  with  tears  streaming 
down  his  cheeks,  he  sang  the  last  verse  :— 

"  He  thought  he  saw  an  Argument 
That  proved  he  was  tJie  Pope : 
He  looked  again,  and  found  it  was 

A  Bar  of  Mottled  Soap. 
'  A  fact  so  dread,'  he  faintly  said, 
'  Extinguishes  all  hope  !  ' ' 


320         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Choking  with  sobs,  the  Gardener  hastily 
stepped  on  a  few  yards  ahead  of  the  party, 
to  conceal  his  emotion. 

"Did  he  see  the  Bar  of  Mottled  Soap?" 
Sylvie  enquired,  as  we  followed. 

"  Oh,  certainly  ! "  said  the  Professor.  "  That 
song  is  his  own  history,  you  know." 

Tears  of  an  ever-ready  sympathy  glittered 
in  Bruno's  eyes.  "  Ps  welly  sorry  he  isn't  the 
Pope ! "  he  said.  "  Aren't  you  sorry,  Sylvie  ? " 

"Well 1  hardly  know,"  Sylvie  replied  in 

the   vaguest   manner.     "  Would   it   make   him 
any  happier  ? "  she  asked  the  Professor. 

"It  wouldn't  make  the  Pope  any  happier," 
said  the  Professor.  "  Isn't  the  platform  lovely  ?" 
he  asked,  as  we  entered  the  Pavilion. 

"  I've  put  an  extra  beam  under  it!"  said  the 
Gardener,  paUing  it  affectionately  as  he  spoke. 

"  And   now    it's   that    strong,    as as    a   mad 

elephant  might  dance  upon  it !  " 

"  Thank  you  very  much ! "  the  Professor 
heartily  rejoined.  "  I  don't  know  that  we  shall 

exactly  require but  it's  convenient  to  know." 

And  he  led  the  children  upon  the  platform,  to 
explain  the  arrangements  to  them.     "  Here  are 


xx]  GAMMON    AND    SPINACH.  321 

three  seats,  you  see,  for  the  Emperor  and  the 
Empress  and  Prince  Uggug.  But  there  must 
be  two  more  chairs  here ! "  he  said,  looking 
down  at  the  Gardener.  "  One  for  Lady  Sylvie, 
and  one  for  the  smaller  animal ! " 

"  And  may  I  help  in  the  Lecture  ? "  said 
Bruno.  "  I  can  do  some  conjuring-tricks." 

"  Well,  it's  not  exactly  a  conjuring  lecture," 
the  Professor  said,  as  he  arranged  some  curious- 
looking  machines  on  the  table.  "  However, 
what  can  you  do  ?  Did  you  ever  go  through  a 
table,  for  instance  ? " 

"  Often  !  "  said  Bruno.    " Haven  t  I,  Sylvie  ?" 

The  Professor  was  evidently  surprised,  though 
he  tried  not  to  show  it.  "  This  must  be  looked 
into,"  he  muttered  to  himself,  taking  out  a  note- 
book. "  And  first what  kind  of  table  ? " 

"  Tell  him ! "  Bruno  whispered  to  Sylvie, 
putting  his  arms  round  her  neck. 

"  Tell  him  yourself,"  said  Sylvie. 

"  Can't,"  said  Bruno.     "  It's  a  bony  word." 

"  Nonsense  !  "  laughed  Sylvie.  "  You  can 
say  it  well  enough,  if  you  only  try.  Come  ! " 

"Muddle "    said   Bruno.      "That's  a   bit 

of  it." 


322          SYLV1E    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  What  does  he  say  ?  "  cried  the  bewildered 
Professor. 

"  He  means  the  multiplication-table,"  Sylvie 
explained. 

The  Professor  looked  annoyed,  and  shut  up 
his  note-book  again.  "  Oh,  that's  quite  another 
thing,"  he  said. 

"  It  are  ever  so  many  other  things,"  said 
Bruno.  "  Arerit  it,  Sylvie  ?  " 

A  loud  blast  of  trumpets  interrupted  this 
conversation.  "  Why,  the  entertainment  has 
begun  / "  the  Professor  exclaimed,  as  he  hur- 
ried the  children  into  the  Reception-Saloon. 
"  I  had  no  idea  it  was  so  late  !  " 

A  small  table,  containing  cake  and  wine, 
stood  in  a  corner  of  the  Saloon  ;  and  here  we 
found  the  Emperor  and  Empress  waiting  for 
us.  The  rest  of  the  Saloon  had  been  cleared 
of  furniture,  to  make  room  for  the  guests. 
I  was  much  struck  by  the  great  change  a  few 
months  had  made  in  the  faces  of  the  Impe- 
rial Pair.  A  vacant  stare  was  now  the  Em- 
peror s  usual  expression ;  while  over  the  face 
of  the  Empress  there  flitted,  ever  and  anon, 
a  meaningless  smile. 


xx]  GAMMON    AND    SPINACH.  323 

"  So  you're  come  at  last ! "  the  Emperor 
sulkily  remarked,  as  the  Professor  and  the 
children  took  their  places.  It  was  evident  that 
he  was  very  much  out  of  temper  :  and  we  were 
not  long  in  learning  the  cause  of  this.  He  did 
not  consider  the  preparations,  made  for  the 
Imperial  party,  to  be  such  as  suited  their 
rank.  "  A  common  mahogany  table  !  "  he 
growled,  pointing  to  it  contemptuously  with 
his  thumb.  "  Why  wasn't  it  made  of  gold,  I 
should  like  to  know  ?  " 

"  It  would  have  taken  a  very  long "  the 

Professor  began,  but  the  Emperor  cut  the 
sentence  short. 

"  Then  the    cake  1     Ordinary  plum  !     Why 

wasn't  it   made  of of "       He   broke  off 

again.    "  Then  the  wine  !    Merely  old  Madeira ! 

Why  wasn't  it ?    Then  this  chair  !    That's 

worst  of  all.  Why  wasn't  it  a  throne  ?  One 
might  excuse  the  other  omissions,  but  I  cant 
get  over  the  chair  ! " 

"  W'hat  /  ca'n't  get  over,"  said  the  Empress, 
in  eager  sympathy  with  her  angry  husband,  "  is 
the  table  !  " 

"  Pooh !"  said  the  Emperor. 

Y    2 


324         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"It  is  much  to  be  regretted ! "  the  Professor 
mildly  replied,  as  soon  as  he  had  a  chance 
of  speaking.  After  a  moment's  thought  he 
strengthened  the  remark.  "Everything"  he 
said,  addressing  Society  in  general,  "  is  very 
much  to  be  regretted  ! " 

A  murmur  of  "  Hear,  hear ! "  rose  from  the 
crowded  Saloon. 

There   was   a    rather   awkward   pause  :  '  the 
Professor  evidently  didn't  know  how  to  begin. 
The  Empress  leant  forwards,  and  whispered  to 
him.     "A  few  jokes,  you  know,  Professor- 
just  to  put  people  at  their  ease ! " 

"  True,  true,  Madam  ! "  the  Professor  meekly 
replied.  "  This  little  boy 

"  Please  don't  make  any  jokes  about  me  / " 
Bruno  exclaimed,  his  eyes  filling  with  tears. 

"  I  won't  if  you'd  rather  I  didn't,"  said  the 
kind-hearted  Professor.  "It  was  only  some- 
thing about  a  Ship's  Buoy  :  a  harmless  pun- 
but  it  doesn't  matter."  Here  he  turned  to  the 
crowd  and  addressed  them  in  a  loud  voice. 
"Learn  your  A's!"  he  shouted.  "Your  B's! 
Your  C's !  And  your  D's !  Then  you'll  be  at 
your  ease ! " 


xx]  GAMMON    AND    SPINACH.  325 

There  was  a  roar  of  laughter  from  all  the 
assembly,  and  then  a  great  deal  of  confused 
whispering.  "  What  was  it  he  said  ?  Some- 
thing about  bees,  I  fancy ." 

The  Empress  smiled  in  her  meaningless 
way,  and  fanned  herself.  The  poor  Professor 
looked  at  her  timidly  :  he  was  clearly  at  his 
wits'  end  again,  and  hoping  for  another  hint. 
The  Empress  whispered  again. 

"  Some  spinach,  you  know,  Professor,  as  a 
surprise." 

The  Professor  beckoned  to  the  Head-Cook, 
and  said  something  to  him  in  a  low  voice. 
Then  the  Head-Cook  left  the  room,  followed 
by  all  the  other  cooks. 

"It's  difficult  to  get  things  started,"  the  Pro- 
fessor remarked  to  Bruno.  "  When  once  we 
get  started,  it'll  go  on  all  right,  you'll  see." 

"  If  oo  want  to  startle  people,"  said  Bruno, 
"oo  should  put  live  frogs  on  their  backs." 

Here  the  cooks  all  came  in  again,  in  a 
procession,  the  Head-Cook  coming  last  and 
carrying  something,  which  the  others  tried  to 
hide  by  waving  flags  all  round  it.  "  Nothing 
but  flags,  Your  Imperial  Highness!  Nothing 


326  SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


xx]  GAMMON    AND    SPINACH.  327 

but  flags ! "  he  kept  repeating,  as  he  set  it 
before  her.  Then  all  the  flags  were  dropped 
in  a  moment,  as  the  Head-Cook  raised  the 
cover  from  an  enormous  dish. 

"  What  is  it  ? "  the  Empress  said  faintly,  as 
she  put  her  spy-glass  to  her  eye.  "  Why,  it's 
Spinach,  I  declare  ! " 

"  Her  Imperial  Highness  is  surprised,"  the 
Professor  explained  to  the  attendants :  and 
some  of  them  clapped  their  hands.  The 
Head-Cook  made  a  low  bow,  and  in  doing 
so  dropped  a  spoon  on  the  table,  as  if  by 
accident,  just  within  reach  of  the  Empress, 
who  looked  the  other  way  and  pretended  not 
to  see  it. 

"  I  am  surprised ! "  the  Empress  said  to 
Bruno.  "  Aren't  you  ?  " 

"Not   a   bit,"    said    Bruno.      "I    heard " 

but  Sylvie  put  her  hand  over  his  mouth,  and 
spoke  for  him.  "  He's  rather  tired,  I  think. 
He  wants  the  Lecture  to  begin." 

"  I  want  the  supper  to  begin,"  Bruno  cor- 
rected her. 

The  Empress  took  up  the  spoon  in  an 
absent  manner,  and  tried  to  balance  it  across 


328          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

the  back  of  her  hand,  and  in  doing  this  she 
dropped  it  into  the  dish  :  and,  when  she  took 
it  out  again,  it  was  full  of  spinach.  "  How 
curious ! "  she  said,  and  put  it  into  her  mouth. 
"  It  tastes  just  like  real  spinach  !  I  thought  it 

was  an  imitation but  I  do  believe  it's  real ! " 

And  she  took  another  spoonful. 

"It  wo'n't  be  real  much  longer,"  said  Bruno. 

But  the  Empress  had  had  enough  spinach 

by  this  time,  and  somehow 1  failed  to  notice 

the  exact  process we  all  found  ourselves  in 

the  Pavilion,  and  the  Professor  in  the  act  of 
beginning  the  long-expected  Lecture. 


CHAPTER   XXI. 

THE  PROFESSOR'S  LECTURE. 

"  IN  Science in  fact,  in  most  things it  is 

usually  best  to  begin  at  the  beginning.  In  some 
things,  of  course,  it's  better  to  begin  at  the 
other  end.  For  instance,  if  you  wanted  to 
paint  a  dog  green,  it  might  be  best  to  begin 
with  the  tail,  as  it  doesn't  bite  at  that  end. 
And  so " 

"  May  /  help  oo  ?"  Bruno  interrupted. 

"Help  me  to  do  what?"  said  the  puzzled 
Professor,  looking  up  for  a  moment,  but  keep- 
ing his  finger  on  the  book  he  was  reading  from, 
so  as  not  to  lose  his  place. 


330         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  To  paint  a  dog  green  ! "  cried  Bruno.  "  Oo 
can  begin  wiz  its  mouf,  and  I'll— 

"  No,  no  ! "  said  the  Professor.  "  We  haven't 
got  to  the  Experiments  yet.  And  so,"  return- 
ing to  his  note-book,  "  I'll  give  you  the  Axioms 
of  Science.  After  that  I  shall  exhibit  some 
Specimens.  Then  I  shall  explain  a  Process  or 
two.  And  I  shall  conclude  with  a  few  Ex- 
periments. An  Axiom,  you  know,  is  a  thing 
that  you  accept  without  contradiction.  For 
instance,  if  I  were  to  say  '  Here  we  are ! ',  that 
would  be  accepted  without  any  contradiction, 
and  it's  a  nice  sort  of  remark  to  begin  a  con- 
versation with.  So  it  would  be  an  Axiom.  Or 
again,  supposing  I  were  to  say  '  Here  we  are 
not ! '.  that  would  be— 

" a  fib  !  "  cried  Bruno. 

"  Oh,  Bruno ! "  said  Sylvie  in  a  warning 
whisper.  "  Of  course  it  would  be  an  Axiom, 
if  the  Professor  said  it ! " 

" that  would  be  accepted,  if  people  were 

civil,"  continued  the  Professor ;  "  so  it  would 
be  another  Axiom." 

"  It  might  be  an  Axledum,"  Bruno  said  : 
"  but  it  wouldn't  be  true  f" 


Xxi]  THE    PROFESSOR'S    LECTURE.  331 

"  Ignorance  of  Axioms,"  the  Lecturer  con- 
tinued, "  is  a  great  drawback  in  life.  It  wastes 
so  much  time  to  have  to  say  them  over  and 
over  again.  For  instance,  take  the  Axiom  'No- 
thing is  greater  than  itself  ;  that  is,  '  Nothing 
can  contain  itself'  How  often  you  hear  people 
say  '  He  was  so  excited,  he  was  quite  unable 
to  contain  himself.'  Why,  of  course  he  was 
unable !  The  excitement  had  nothing  to  do 
with  it ! " 

"  I  say,  look  here,  you  know ! "  said  the 
Emperor,  who  was  getting  a  little  restless. 
"  How  many  Axioms  are  you  going  to  give 
us  ?  At  this  rate,  we  sha'n't  get  to  the  Experi- 
ments till  to-morrow-week  ! " 

"  Oh,  sooner  than  that,  I  assure  you !  "  the 
Professor  replied,  looking  up  in  alarm.  "  There 
are  only,"  (he  referred  to  his  notes  again)  "  only 
two  more,  that  are  really  necessary." 

"  Read  'em  out,  and  get  on  to  the  Speci- 
mens" grumbled  the  Emperor. 

"  The  First  Axiom,"  the  Professor  read  out 
in  a  great  hurry,  "  consists  of  these  words, 
'  Whatever  is,  is.'  And  the  Second  consists  of 
these  words,  '  Whatever  isrit,  isrit?  We  will 


332          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

now  go  on  to  the  Specimens.  The  first  tray 
contains  Crystals  and  other  Things."  He 
drew  it  towards  him,  and  again  referred  to  his 

note-book.  "  Some  of  the  labels owing  to 

insufficient  adhesion—  Here  he  stopped 

again,  and  carefully  examined  the  page  with 
his  eyeglass.  "  I  ca'n't  quite  read  the  rest  of 
the  sentence,"  he  said  at  last,  "  but  it  means 
that  the  labels  have  come  loose,  and  the  Things 
have  got  mixed 

"  Let  me  stick  'em  on  again ! "  cried  Bruno 
eagerly,  and  began  licking  them,  like  postage- 
stamps,  and  dabbing  them  down  upon  the  Crys- 
tals and  the  other  Things.  But  the  Professor 
hastily  moved  the  tray  out  of  his  reach.  "  They 
might  get  fixed  to  the  wrong  Specimens,  you 
know !  "  he  said. 

"  Oo  shouldn't  have  any  wrong  peppermints 
in  the  tray !  "  Bruno  boldly  replied.  "  Should 
he,  Sylvie  ? " 

But  Sylvie  only  shook  her  head. 

The  Professor  heard  him  not.  He  had  taken 
up  one  of  the  bottles,  and  was  carefully  reading 
the  label  through  his  eye-glass.  "  Our  first 
Specimen "  he  announced,  as  he  placed  the 


xxi]  THE    PROFESSOR'S    LECTURE.  333 

bottle  in  front  of  the  other  Things,  "  is that 

is,  it  is  called "  here  he  took  it  up,  and 

examined  the  label  again,  as  if  he  thought 
it  might  have  changed  since  he  last  saw  it, 

"  is  called  Aqua  Pura common  water the 

fluid  that  cheers " 

"Hip!  Hip!  Hip!"  the  Head-Cook  began 
enthusiastically. 

" but  not  inebriates  ! "  the  Professor  went 

on  quickly,  but  only  just  in  time  to  check 
the  "  Hooroar ! "  which  was  beginning. 

"  Our  second  Specimen,"  he  went  on,  care- 
fully opening  a  small  jar,  "  is "  here  he 

removed  the  lid,  and  a  large  beetle  instantly 
darted  out,  and  with  an  angry  buzz  went 

straight  out  of  the  Pavilion,  " is — -or  rather, 

I  should  say,"  looking  sadly  into  the  empty 

jar,  "it  was a  curious  kind  of  Blue  Beetle. 

Did  any  one  happen  to  remark as  it  went 

past three  blue  spots  under  each  wing?" 

Nobody  had  remarked  them. 

"  Ah,  well ! "  the  Professor  said  with  a  sigh. 
"It's  a  pity.  Unless  you  remark  that  kind  of 
thing  at  the  moment,  it's  very  apt  to  get  over- 
looked !  The  next  Specimen,  at  any  rate,  will 


334          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

not  fly  away!  It  is in  short,  or  perhaps, 

more  correctly,  at  length an  Elephant.  You 

will  observe ."  Here  he  beckoned  to  the 

Gardener  to  come  up  on  the  platform,  and  with 
his  help  began  putting  together  what  looked 
like  an  enormous  dog-kennel,  with  short  tubes 
projecting  out  of  it  on  both  sides. 

"  But  we've  seen  Elephants  before,"  the 
Emperor  grumbled. 

"  Yes,  but  not  through  a  Megaloscope  !  "  the 
Professor  eagerly  replied.  "  You  know  you 
can't  see  a  Flea,  properly,  without  a  magnify- 

z/^-glass what  we  call  a  Microscope.  Well, 

just  in  the  same  way,  you  ca'n't  see  an  Ele- 
phant, properly,  without  a  mimmi/yzng--g\ass. 
There's  one  in  each  of  these  little  tubes.  And 
this  is  a  Megaloscope !  The  Gardener  will 
now  bring  in  the  next  Specimen.  Please  open 
both  curtains,  down  at  the  end  there,  and  make 
way  for  the  Elephant ! " 

There  was  a  general  rush  to  the  sides  of  the 
Pavilion,  and  all  eyes  were  turned  to  the  open 
end,  watching  for  the  return  of  the  Gardener, 
who  had  gone  away  singing  "  He  thought  he 
saw  an  Elephant  That  practised  on  a  Fife  !  " 


xxi] 


THE    PROFESSOR'S    LECTURE. 


335 


There  was  silence  for  a   minute  :  and  then  his 
harsh  voice  was  heard  again  in   the  distance. 

"  He  looked  again come  up,  then  !    He  looked 

again,    and  found   it   was woa    back !    and 

found  it   was  A  letter  from  his make  way 

there  !      He's  a-coming  !  " 


And  in  marched,  or  waddled it  is  hard  to 

say  which  is  the  right  word an  Elephant,  on 

its  hind-legs,  and  playing  on   an  enormous  fife 
which  it  held  with  its  fore-feet 


336         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

The  Professor  hastily  threw  open  a  large 
door  at  the  end  of  the  Megaloscope,  and  the 
huge  animal,  at  a  signal  from  the  Gardener, 
dropped  the  fife,  and  obediently  trotted  into 
the  machine,  the  door  of  which  was  at  once 
shut  by  the  Professor.  "  The  Specimen  is 
now  ready  for  observation  ! "  he  proclaimed. 
"It  is  exactly  the  size  of  the  Common  Mouse 

Mus  Communis  !  " 

There  was  a  general  rush  to  the  tubes, 
and  the  spectators  watched  with  delight  the 
minikin  creature,  as  it  playfully  coiled  its  trunk 
round  the  Professor's  extended  finger,  finally 
taking  its  stand  upon  the  palm  of  his  hand, 
while  he  carefully  lifted  it  out,  and  carried  it  off 
to  exhibit  to  the  Imperial  party. 

"  Isn't  it  a  darling  ?  "  cried  Bruno.  "  May  I 
stroke  it,  please  ?  I'll  touch  it  welly  gently !  " 

The  Empress  inspected  it  solemnly  with  her 
eye-glass.  "  It  is  very  small,"  she  said  in  a 
deep  voice.  "  Smaller  than  elephants  usually 
are,  I  believe  ? " 

The  Professor  gave  a  start  of  delighted 
surprise.  "  Why,  that's  true  /  "  he  murmured  to 
himself.  Then  louder,  turning  to  the  audience, 


xxi]  THE    PROFESSOR'S    LECTURE.  337 

"  Her  Imperial  Highness  has  made  a  remark 
which  is  perfectly  sensible  !  "  And  a  wild  cheer 
arose  from  that  vast  multitude. 

"  The  next  Specimen,"  the  Professor  pro- 
claimed, after  carefully  placing  the  little  Ele- 
phant in  the  tray,  among  the  Crystals  and 
other  Things,  "  is  a  Flea,  which  we  will  enlarge 
for  the  purposes  of  observation."  Taking  a 
small  pill-box  from  the  tray,  he  advanced  to 
the  Megaloscope,  and  reversed  all  the  tubes. 
"  The  Specimen  is  ready  !  "  he  cried,  with  his 
eye  at  one  of  the  tubes,  while  he  carefully 
emptied  the  pill-box  through  a  little  hole  at  the 
side.  "  It  is  now  the  size  of  the  Common 
Horse Equus  Communis  !  " 

There  was  another  general  rush,  to  look 
through  the  tubes,  and  the  Pavilion  rang  with 
shouts  of  delight,  through  which  the  Professor's 
anxious  tones  could  scarcely  be  heard.  "  Keep 
the  door  of  the  Microscope  shut  /"  he  cried. 
"If  the  creature  were  to  escape,  this  size,  it 

would "     But  the  mischief  was  done.     The 

door  had  swung  open,  and  in  another  moment 
the  Monster  had  got  out,  and  was  trampling 
down  the  terrified,  shrieking  spectators. 

z 


338          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

But  the  Professor's  presence  of  mind  did  not 
desert  him.  "  Undraw  those  curtains  !  "  he 
shouted.  It  was  done.  The  Monster  gathered 
its  legs  together,  and  in  one  tremendous  bound 
vanished  into  the  sky. 

"  Where  is  it  ?  "  said  the  Emperor,  rubbing 
his  eyes. 

"In  the  next  Province,  I  fancy,"  the  Pro- 
fessor replied.  "  That  jump  would  take  it  at 
least  five  miles !  The  next  thing  is  to  ex- 
plain a  Process  or  two.  But  I  find  there  is 

hardly  room  enough  to  operate the  smaller 

animal  is  rather  in  my  way " 

<(  Who  does  he  mean  ? "  Bruno  whispered 
to  Sylvie. 

"He  means  you ! "  Sylvie  whispered  back. 
"Hush!" 

"  Be  kind  enough  to  move angularly 

to  this  corner,"  the  Professor  said,  addressing 
himself  to  Bruno. 

Bruno  hastily  moved  his  chair  in  the  direc- 
tion indicated.  "  Did  I  move  angrily  enough  ?  " 
he  inquired.  But  the  Professor  was  once  more 
absorbed  in  his  Lecture,  which  he  was  reading 
from  his  note-book. 


XXI]  THE    PROFESSOR'S    LECTURE.  339 

"  I    will    now  explain    the  Process  of the 

name   is   blotted,   I'm    sorry   to   say.      It   will 

be  illustrated  by  a  number  of of "  here 

he  examined  the  page  for  some  time,  and 
at  last  said  "  It  seems  to  be  either  '  Ex- 
periments '  or  '  Specimens ' " 

"  Let  it  be  Experiments"  said  the  Emperor. 
"  We've  seen  plenty  of  Specimens!' 

"  Certainly,  certainly ! "  the  Professor  as- 
sented. "  We  will  have  some  Experiments." 

"  May  /  do  them  ? "  Bruno  eagerly  asked. 

"  Oh  dear  no  !  "  The  Professor  looked  dis- 
mayed. "  I  really  don't  know  what  would 
happen  if  you  did  them  ! " 

"  Nor  nobody  doosn't  know  what'll  happen 
if  oo  doos  them  !  "  Bruno  retorted. 

"  Our  First  Experiment  requires  a   Machine. 

It  has  two  knobs only  two you  can  count 

thern,  if  you  like." 

The  Head-Cook  stepped  forwards,  counted 
them,  and  retired  satisfied. 

"  Now  you  might  press  those  two  knobs  to- 
gether  but  that's  not  the  way  to  do  it.  Or 

you  might  turn    the  Machine  upside-down 

but  that's  not  the  way  to  do  it ! " 

z  2 


340          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  What  are  the  way  to  do  it  ? "  said  Bruno, 
who  was  listening  very  attentively. 

The  Professor  smiled  benignantly.  "  Ah, 
yes ! "  he  said,  in  a  voice  like  the  heading  of  a 
chapter.  "  The  Way  To  Do  It !  Permit  me ! " 
and  in  a  moment  he  had  whisked  Bruno  upon 
the  table.  "  I  divide  my  subject,"  he  began, 
"  into  three  parts " 

"  I  think  I'll  get  down  !"  Bruno  whispered  to 
Sylvie.  "  It  aren't  nice  to  be  divided  ! " 

"  He  hasn't  got  a  knife,  silly  boy ! "  Sylvie 
whispered  in  reply.  "  Stand  still !  You'll  break 
all  the  bottles  ! " 

"  The  first  part  is  to  take  hold  of  the  knobs," 
putting  them  into  Bruno's  hands.  "  The  second 
part  is—  Here  he  turned  the  handle,  and, 

with  a  loud  "  Oh ! ",  Bruno  dropped  both  the 
knobs,  and  began  rubbing  his  elbows. 

The  Professor  chuckled  in  delight.  "It  had 
a  sensible  effect  Hadrit  it  ? "  he  enquired. 

"  No,  it  hadn't  a  sensible  effect ! "  Bruno  said 
indignantly.  "  It  were  very  silly  indeed.  It 
jingled  my  elbows,  and  it  banged  my  back, 
and  it  crinkled  my  hair,  and  it  buzzed  among 
my  bones!" 


xxi]  THE    PROFESSOR'S    LECTURE.  341 

"I'm  sure  it  didrit!"  said  Sylvie.  "You're 
only  inventing ! " 

"  Oo  doosn't  know  nuffin  about  it ! "  Bruno 
replied.  "  Oo  wasn't  there  to  see.  Nobody 
ca'n't  go  among  my  bones.  There  isn't  room ! " 

"  Our  Second  Experiment,"  the  Professor 
announced,  as  Bruno  returned  to  his  place,  still 
thoughtfully  rubbing  his  elbows,  "  is  the  pro- 
duction of  that  seldom-seen-but-greatly-to-be- 
admired  phenomenon,  Black  Light !  You  have 
seen  White  Light,  Red  Light,  Green  Light,  and 
so  on  :  but  never,  till  this  wonderful  day,  have 
any  eyes  but  mine  seen  Black  Light !  This 
box,"  carefully  lifting  it  upon  the  table,  and 
covering  it  with  a  heap  of  blankets,  "  is  quite 

full  of  it.  The  way  I  made  it  was  this 1 

took  a  lighted  candle  into  a  dark  cupboard  and 
shut  the  door.  Of  course  the  cupboard  was 
then  full  of  Yellow  Light.  Then  I  took  a  bottle 
of  Black  ink,  and  poured  it  over  the  candle  : 
and,  to  my  delight,  every  atom  of  the  Yellow 
Light  turned  Black !  That  was  indeed  the 
proudest  moment  of  my  life  !  Then  I  filled  a 

box  with  it.  And  now would  any  one  like 

to  get  under  the  blankets  and  see  it  ?  " 


342          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

Dead  silence  followed  this  appeal :  but  at  last 
Bruno  said  "  /'//  get  under,  if  it  won't  jingle 
my  elbows." 

Satisfied  on  this  point,  Bruno  crawled  .under 
the  blankets,  and,  after  a  minute  or  two,  crawled 
out  again,  very  hot  and  dusty,  and  with  his  hair 
in  the  wildest  confusion. 

"  What  did  you  see  in  the  box  ? "  Sylvie 
eagerly  enquired. 

"I  saw  nuffinf"  Bruno  sadly  replied.  "It 
were  too  dark ! " 

"  He  has  described  the  appearance  of  the 
thing  exactly ! "  the  Professor  exclaimed  with 
enthusiasm.  "  Black  Light,  and  Nothing,  look 
so  extremely  alike,  at  first  sight,  that  I  don't 
wonder  he  failed  to  distinguish  them  !  We  will 
now  proceed  to  the  Third  Experiment." 

The  Professor  came  down,  and  led  the  way 
to  where  a  post  had  been  driven  firmly  into 
the  ground.  To  one  side  of  the  post  was 
fastened  a  chain,  with  an  iron  weight  hooked 
on  to  the  end  of  it,  and  from  the  other  side 
projected  a  piece  of  whalebone,  with  a  ring 
at  the  end  of  it.  "  This  is  a  most  interesting 
Experiment!"  the  Professor  announced.  "It 


xxi]  THE    PROFESSOR'S    LECTURE.  343 

will  need  time,  I'm  afraid  :  but  that  is  a  trifling 
disadvantage.  Now  observe.  If  I  were  to  un- 
hook this  weight,  and  let  go,  it  would  fall  to  the 
ground.  You  do  not  deny  that  ?  " 

Nobody  denied  it. 

"And  in  the  same  way,  if  I  were  to  bend 

this  piece  of  whalebone  round  the  post thus 

and  put  the  ring  over  this  hook thus it 

stays  bent :  but,  if  I  unhook  it,  it  straightens 
itself  again.  You  do  not  deny  that?" 

Again,  nobody  denied  it. 

"  Well,  now,  suppose  we  left  things  just  as 
they  are,  for  a  long  time.  The  force  of  the 
whalebone  would  get  exhausted,  you  know,  and 
it  would  stay  bent,  even  when  you  unhooked  it. 
Now,  why  shouldn't  the  same  thing  happen 
with  the  weight  ?  The  whalebone  gets  so 
used  to  being  bent,  that  it  ca'n't  straighten 
itself  any  more.  Why  shouldn't  the  weight 
get  so  used  to  being  held  up,  that  it  ca'n't  fall 
any  more  ?  That's  what  /  want  to  know  ! " 

"  That's  what  we  want  to  know !  "  echoed 
the  crowd. 

"  How  long  must  we  wait  ? "  grumbled  the 
Emperor. 


344         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

The  Professor  looked  at  his  watch.  "Well, 
I  think  a  thousand  years  will  do  to  begin  with," 
he  said.  "  Then  we  will  cautiously  unhook 
the  weight :  and,  if  it  still  shows  (as  perhaps 
it  will)  a  slight  tendency  to  fall,  we  will  hook 
it  on  to  the  chain  again,  and  leave  it  for 
another  thousand  years." 

Here  the  Empress  experienced  one  of  those 
flashes  of  Common  Sense  which  were  the  sur- 
prise of  all  around  her.  "  Meanwhile  there'll 
be  time  for  another  Experiment,"  she  said. 

"There  will  indeed/"  cried  the  delighted 
Professor.  "  Let  us  return  to  the  platform,  and 
proceed  to  the  Fourth  Experiment ! " 

"  For  this  concluding  Experiment,  I  will  take 

a  certain  Alkali,  or  Acid 1  forget  which. 

Now  you'll  see  what  will  happen  when  I  mix 
it  with  Some—  '  here  he  took  up  a  bottle, 

and  looked  at  it  doubtfully,  " when  I  mix 

it  with with  Something 

Here  the  Emperor  interrupted.  "  What's  the 
name  of  the  stuff?"  he  asked. 

"  I  don't  remember  the  name"  said  the  Pro- 
fessor :  "and  the  label  has  come  off/'  He 
emptied  it  quickly  into  the  other  bottle,  and, 


xxi] 


THE    PROFESSOR'S    LECTURE. 


345 


with  a  tremendous  bang,  both  bottles  flew  to 
pieces,  upsetting  all  the  machines,  and  filling 
the  Pavilion  with  thick  black  smoke.  I  sprang 

to    my  feet  in  terror,  and and  found  myself 

standing  before  my  solitary  hearth,  where  the 
poker,  dropping  at  last  from  the  hand  of  the 
sleeper,  had  knocked  over  the  tcngs  and  the 
shovel,  and  had  upset  the  kettle,  filling  the  air 
with  clouds  of  steam.  With  a  weary  sigh,  I 
betook  myself  to  bed. 


CHAPTER  XXII. 

THE    BANQUET. 

"  Heaviness  may  endure  for  a  night :  but  joy 
comet h  in  the  morning."  The  next  day  found 
me  quite  another  being.  Even  the  memories  of 
my  lost  friend  and  companion  were  sunny  as 
the  genial  weather  that  smiled  around  me.  I 
did  not  venture  to  trouble  Lady  Muriel,  or  her 
father,  with  another  call  so  soon  :  but  took  a 
walk  into  the  country,  and  only  turned  home- 
wards when  the  low  sunbeams  warned  me  that 
day  would  soon  be  over. 

On  my  way  home,  I  passed  the  cottage  where 
the  old  man  lived,  whose  face  always  recalled 


XXII]  THE    BANQUET.  347 

to  me  the  day  when  I  first  met  Lady  Muriel ; 
and  I  glanced  in  as  I  passed,  half-curious  to  see 
if  he  were  still  living  there. 

Yes :  the  old  man  was  still  alive.  He  was 
sitting  out  in  the  porch,  looking  just  as  he  did 

when  I  first  saw  him  at  Fay  field  Junction 

it  seemed  only  a  few  days  ago  ! 

"  Good  evening  !  "  I  said,  pausing. 

"  Good  evening,  Maister ! "  he  cheerfully 
responded.  "  Won't  ee  step  in  ?  " 

I  stepped  in,  and  took  a  seat  on  the  bench 
in  the  porch.  "  I'm  glad  to  see  you  looking 
so  hearty,"  I  began.  "  Last  time,  I  remember, 
I  chanced  to  pass  just  as  Lady  Muriel  was 
coming  away  from  the  house.  Does  she  still 
come  to  see  you  ?  " 

"  Ees,"  he  answered  slowly.  "  She  has  na 
forgotten  me.  I  don't  lose  her  bonny  face  for 
many  days  together.  Well  I  mind  the  very 
first  time  she  come,  after  we'd  met  at  Railway 
Station.  She  told  me  as  she  come  to  mak' 
amends.  Dear  child!  Only  think  o'  that! 
To  mak'  amends  ! " 

"  To  make  amends  for  what  ? "  I  enquired. 
"  What  could  she  have  done  to  need  it  ?  " 


348         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Well,  it  were  loike  this,  you  see  ?  We  were 
both  on  us  a- waiting  fur  t'  train  at  t'  Junction. 
And  I  had  setten  mysen  down  upat  t'  bench. 
And  Station-Maister,  he  comes  and  he  orders 

me   off fur  t'  mak'  room  for  her  Ladyship, 

you  understand  ?  " 

"  I  remember  it  all,"  I  said.  "  I  was  there 
myself,  that  day." 

"  Was  you,  now  ?  Well,  an'  she  axes  my 
pardon  fur 't.  Think  o'  that,  now  !  My  pardon  ! 
An  owd  ne'er-do-weel  like  me  !  Ah !  She's 
been  here  many  a  time,  sin'  then.  Why,  she 
were  in  here  only  yestere'en,  as  it  were,  a- 
sittin',  as  it  might  be,  where  you're  a-sitting 
now,  an'  lookin'  sweeter  and  kinder  nor  an 
angel !  An'  she  says  '  You've  not  got  your 
Minnie,  now,  '  she  says,  '  to  fettle  for  ye.' 
Minnie  was  my  grand-daughter,  Sir,  as  lived 
wi'  me.  She  died,  a  matter  of  two  months 

ago or  it  may  be  three.     She  was  a  bonny 

lass and  a  good  lass,  too.     Eh,  but  life  has 

been  rare  an'  lonely  without  her ! " 

He  covered  his  face  in  his  hands  :  and  I 
waited  a  minute  or  two,  in  silence,  for  him  to 
recover  himself. 


XXII]  THE    BANQUET.  349 

"  So  she  says  '  Just  tak'  me  fur  your  Minnie  ! ' 
she  says.  '  Didna  Minnie  mak'  your  tea  fur 
you?'  says  she.  'Ay,'  says  I.  An'  she  mak's 
the  tea.  *  An'  didna  Minnie  light  your  pipe  ?  ' 
says  she.  'Ay,'  says  I.  An'  she  lights  the 
pipe  for  me.  '  An'  didna  Minnie  set  out  your 
tea  in  t'  porch  ? '  An'  I  says  '  My  dear,'  I 
says,  'I'm  thinking  you're  Minnie  hersen!' 
An'  she  cries  a  bit.  We  both  on  us  cries  a 
bit ." 

Again  I  kept  silence  for  a  while. 

"  An'  while   I    smokes  my  pipe,  she  sits  an' 

talks  to  me as  loving  an'  as  pleasant !     I'll 

be  bound  I  thowt  it  were  Minnie  come  again  ! 
An'  when  she  gets  up  to  go,  I  says  '  Winnot  ye 
shak'  hands  wi'  me  ? '  says  I.  An'  she  says 
'  Na,'  she  says:  'a  cannot  shaft  hands  wi' 
thee  ! '  she  says." 

"  I'm  sorry  she  said  that"  I  put  in,  thinking 
it  was  the  only  instance  I  had  ever  known  of 
pride  of  rank  showing  itself  in  Lady  Muriel. 

"  Bless  you,  it  werena  pride ! "  said  the 
old  man,  reading  my  thoughts.  "  She  says 
'  Your  Minnie  never  shook  hands  wi'  you  ! '  she 
says.  'An'  I'm  your  Minnie  now,'  she  says. 


350          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


<r 


An'  she  just   puts   her   dear   arms   about  my 

neck and  she  kisses   me   on   t'  cheek an' 

may  God  in  Heaven  bless  her  !  "  And  here 
the  poor  old  man  broke  down  entirely,  and 
could  say  no  more. 

"  God  bless  her  ! "  I   echoed.      "  And  good 
night  to  you  ! "       I  pressed  his  hand,  and  left 


XXII]  THE    BANQUET.  351 

him.  "  Lady  Muriel,"  I  said  softly  to  myself 
as  I  went  homewards,  "  truly  you  know  how 
to  '  mak'  amends  ' !  " 

Seated  once  more  by  my  lonely  fireside,  I 
tried  to  recall  the  strange  vision  of  the  night 
before,  and  to  conjure  up  the  face  of  the  dear 
old  Professor  among  the  blazing  coals.  "  That 

black  one with  just  a  touch  of  red would 

suit  him  well,"  I  thought.  "  After  such  a  catas- 
trophe, it  would  be  sure  to  be  covered  with 
black  stains and  he  would  say  : — 

"  The  result  of  that  combination you  may 

have  noticed  ? was  an  Explosion !  Shall  I 

repeat  the  Experiment  ?  " 

"  No,  no  !  Don't  trouble  yourself !  "  was  the 
general  cry.  And  we  all  trooped  off,  in  hot 
haste,  to  the  Banqueting- Hall,  where  the  feast 
had  already  begun. 

No  time  was  lost  in  helping  the  dishes,  and 
very  speedily  every  guest  found  his  plate  filled 
with  good  things. 

"  I  have  always  maintained  the  principle," 
the  Professor  began,  "  that  it  is  a  good  rule 

to  take  some  food occasionally.  The  great 

advantage  of  dinner-parties "  he  broke  off 


352         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


Xxn]  THE    BANQUET.  353 

suddenly.  "  Why,  actually  here's  the  Other 
Professor !  "  he  cried.  "  And  there's  no  place 
left  for  him  !  " 

The  Other  Professor  came  in  reading  a  large 
book,  which  he  held  close  to  his  eyes.  One 
result  of  his  not  looking  where  he  was  going 
was  that  he  tripped  up,  as  he  crossed  the 
Saloon,  flew  up  into  the  air,  and  fell  heavily 
on  his  face  in  the  middle  of  the  table. 

"  What  a  pity ! "  cried  the  kind-hearted  Pro- 
fessor, as  he  helped  him  up. 

"  It  wouldn't  be  me,  if  I  didn't  trip,"  said  the 
Other  Professor. 

The  Professor  looked  much  shocked.  "  Al- 
most anything  would  be  better  than  that !  "  he 
exclaimed.  "  It  never  does,"  he  added,  aside 
to  Bruno,  "  to  be  anybody  else,  does  it  ?" 

To  which  Bruno  gravely  replied  "  I's  got 
nuffin  on  my  plate." 

The  Professor  hastily  put  on  his  spectacles, 
to  make  sure  that  the  facts  were  all  right,  to 
begin  with :  then  he  turned  his  jolly  round 
face  upon  the  unfortunate  owner  of  the  empty 
plate.  "  And  what  would  you  like  next, 
my  little  man  ?  " 

A  A 


354         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"Well,"    Bruno  said,  a  little   doubtfully,   "I 
think   I'll  take   some  plum-pudding,   please— 
while  I  think  of  it." 

"Oh,  Bruno!"  (This  was  a  whisper  from 
Sylvie.)  "It  isn't  good  manners  to  ask  for  a 
dish  before  it  comes !  " 

And  Bruno  whispered  back  "  But  I  might  for- 
get to  ask  for  some,  when  it  comes,  oo  know 

—I  do  forget  things,  sometimes,"  he  added, 
seeing  Sylvie  about  to  whisper  more. 

And  this  assertion  Sylvie  did  not  venture  to 
contradict. 

Meanwhile  a  chair  had  been  placed  for  the 
Other  Professor,  between  the  Empress  and 
Sylvie.  Sylvie  found  him  a  rather  uninterest- 
ing neighbour  :  in  fact,  she  couldn't  afterwards 
remember  that  he  had  made  more  than  one 
remark  to  her  during  the  whole  banquet,  and 
that  was  "What  a  comfort  a  Dictionary  is!" 
(She  told  Bruno,  afterwards,  that  she  had  been 
too  much  afraid  of  him  to  say  more  than  "  Yes, 
Sir,"  in  reply  ;  and  that  had  been  the  end  of 
their  conversation.  On  which  Bruno  expressed 
a  very  decided  opinion  that  that  wasn't  worth 
calling  a  '  conversation  '  at  all.  "  Oo  should 


xxn]  THE    BANQUET.  355 

have  asked  him  a  riddle ! "  he  added  trium- 
phantly. "  Why,  /  asked  the  Professor  three 
riddles !  One  was  that  one  you  asked  me  in 
the  morning,  '  How  many  pennies  is  there  in 
two  shillings  ? '  And  another  was—  ''  Oh, 

Bruno  ! "  Sylvie  interrupted.  "  That  wasn't  a 
riddle!"  "  It  were!'"  Bruno  fiercely  replied.) 

By  this  time  a  waiter  had  supplied  Bruno 
with  a  plateful  of  something,  which  drove  the 
plum-pudding  out  of  his  head. 

"Another  advantage  of  dinner-parties,"  the 
Professor  cheerfully  explained,  for  the  benefit 
of  any  one  that  would  listen,  "  is  that  it  helps 
you  to  see  your  friends.  If  you  want  to  see  a 
man,  offer  him  something  to  eat.  It's  the  same 
rule  with  a  mouse." 

"  This  Cat's  very  kind  to  the  Mouses,"  Bruno 
said,  stooping  to  stroke  a  remarkably  fat  speci- 
men of  the  race,  that  had  just  waddled  into  the 
room,  and  was  rubbing  itself  affectionately 
against  the  leg  of  his  chair.  "  Please,  Sylvie, 
pour  some  milk  in  your  saucer.  Pussie's  ever 
so  thirsty ! " 

"  Why  do  you  want  my  saucer  ?  "  said  Sylvie 
"  You've  got  one  yourself!  " 

A    A    2 


356         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"Yes,  I  know,"  said  Bruno:  "but  I  wanted 
mine  for  to  give  it  some  more  milk  in." 

Sylvie  looked  unconvinced :  however  it 
seemed  quite  impossible  for  her  ever  to  refuse 
what  her  brother  asked  :  so  she  quietly  filled 
her  saucer  with  milk,  and  handed  it  to  Bruno, 
who  got  down  off  his  chair  to  administer  it  to 
the  cat. 

"  The  room's  very  hot,  with  all  this  crowd," 
the  Professor  said  to  Sylvie.  "  I  wonder  why 
they  don't  put  some  lumps  of  ice  in  the  grate  ? 
You  fill  it  with  lumps  of  coal  in  the  winter,  you 
know,  and  you  sit  round  it  and  enjoy  the 
warmth.  How  jolly  it  would  be  to  fill  it  now 
with  lumps  of  ice,  and  sit  round  it  and  enjoy 
the  coolth ! " 

Hot  as  it  was,  Sylvie  shivered  a  little  at  the 
idea.  "  It's  very  cold  oiitside"  she  said.  "  My 
feet  got  almost  frozen  to-day." 

"  That's  the  shoemaker  s  fault !  "  the  Pro- 
fessor cheerfully  replied.  "  How  often  I've 
explained  to  him  that  he  ought  to  make  boots 
with  little  iron  frames  under  the  soles,  to  hold 
lamps !  But  he  never  thinks.  No  one  would 
suffer  from  cold,  if  only  they  would  think  of 


XXH]  THE    BANQUET.  357 

those  little  things.  I  always  use  hot  ink,  my- 
self, in  the  winter.  Very  few  people  ever  think 
of  that  I  Yet  how  simple  it  is  !  " 

"Yes,  it's  very  simple,"  Sylvie  said  politely. 
"Has  the  cat  had  enough?"  This  was  to 
Bruno,  who  had  brought  back  the  saucer  only 
half-emptied. 

But  Bruno  did  not  hear  the  question. 
"  There's  somebody  scratching  at  the  door 
and  wanting  to  come  in,"  he  said.  And  he 
scrambled  down  off  his  chair,  and  went  and 
cautiously  peeped  out  through  the  door-way. 

"  Who  was  it  wanted  to  come  in  ? "  Sylvie 
asked,  as  he  returned  to  his  place. 

"It  were  a  Mouse,"  said  Bruno.  "And  it 
peepted  in.  And  it  saw  the  Cat.  And  it  said 
'  I'll  come  in  another  day.'  And  I  said  '  Oo 
needn't  be  flightened.  The  Cat's  welly  kind 
to  Mouses.'  And  it  said  '  But  I's  got  some 
imporkant  business,  what  I  must  attend  to.1 
And  it  said  '  I'll  call  again  to-morrow.'  And  it 
said  '  Give  my  love  to  the  Cat.' " 

"  What  a  fat  cat  it  is !  "  said  the  Lord  Chan- 
cellor, leaning  across  the  Professor  to  address 
his  small  neighbour.  "  It's  quite  a  wonder !  " 


358          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  It  was  awfully  fat  when  it  earned  in,"  said 
Bruno:  "so  it  would  be  more  wonderfuller  if 
it  got  thin  all  in  a  minute." 

"And  that  was  the  reason,  I  suppose,"  the 
Lord  Chancellor  suggested,  "why  you  didn't 
give  it  the  rest  of  the  milk  ?  " 

"  No,"  said  Bruno.  "  It  were  a  betterer 
reason.  I  tooked  the  saucer  up  'cause  it  were 
so  discontented ! " 

"It  doesn't  look  so  to  me"  said  the  Lord 
Chancellor.  "What  made  you  think  it  was 
discontented  ? " 

"'cause  it  grumbled  in  its  throat." 

"Oh,  Bruno!"  cried  Sylvie.  "Why,  that's 
the  way  cats  show  they '  re  pleased!" 

Bruno  looked  doubtful.  "  It's  not  a  good 
way,"  he  objected.  "  Oo  wouldn't  say  /  were 
pleased,  if  I  made  that  noise  in  my  throat ! " 

"  What  a  singular  boy ! "  the  Lord  Chan- 
cellor whispered  to  himself:  but  Bruno  had 
caught  the  words. 

"  What  do  it  mean  to  say  '  a  singular  boy  '  ?  " 
he  whispered  to  Sylvie. 

"  It  means  one  boy,"  Sylvie  whispered  in 
return.  "  And /«;-#/  means  two  or  three." 


xxn]  THE    BANQUET.  359 

"Then  I's  welly  glad  I  is  a  singular  boy  ! '' 
Bruno  said  with  great  emphasis.  "It  would  be 
horrid  to  be  two  or  three  boys !  P'raps  they 
wouldn't  play  with  me  !  " 

"Why  should  they?"  said  the  Other  Pro- 
fessor, suddenly  waking  up  out  of  a  deep 
reverie.  "They  might  be  asleep,  you  know." 

"Couldn't,  if  /  was  awake,"  Bruno  said 
cunningly. 

"Oh,   but  they  might    indeed!"    the  Other 
Professor   protested.      "  Boys   don't   all  go  to 
sleep  at    once,  you  know.     So  these   boys— 
but  who  are  you  talking  about  ?  " 

"He  never  remembers  to  ask  that  first !  "  the 
Professor  whispered  to  the  children. 

"Why,  the  rest  of  me,  a-course!"  Bruno 
exclaimed  triumphantly.  "  Supposing  I  was 
two  or  three  boys  !  " 

The  Other  Professor  sighed,  and  seemed  to 
be  sinking  back  into  his  reverie ;  but  suddenly 
brightened  up  again,  and  addressed  the  Pro- 
fessor. "  There's  nothing  more  to  be  done 
now,  is  there  ? " 

"Well,  there's  the  dinner  to  finish,"  the  Pro- 
fessor said  with  a  bewildered  smile  :  "  and  the 


360          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

heat  to  bear.      I  hope  you'll  enjoy  the  dinner 

—such  as  it  is  ;  and  that  you  won't  mind  the 
heat such  as  it  isn't." 

The  sentence  sounded  well,  but  somehow  I 
couldn't  quite  understand  it ;  and  the  Other 
Professor  seemed  to  be  no  better  off.  "  Such 
as  it  isn't  what?"  he  peevishly  enquired. 

"  It  isn't  as  hot  as  it  might  be,"  the  Pro- 
fessor replied,  catching  at  the  first  idea  that 
came  to  hand. 

"Ah,  I  see  what  you  mean  now  I'1'  the  Other 
Professor  graciously  remarked.  "  It's  very 
badly  expressed,  but  I  quite  see  it  now !  Thir- 
teen minutes  and  a  half  ago,"  he  went  on, 
looking  first  at  Bruno  and  then  at  his  watch 
as  he  spoke,  "you  said  'this  Cat's  very  kind  to 
the  Mouses.'  It  must  be  a  singular  animal !" 

"  So  it  are,"  said  Bruno,  after  carefully  ex- 
amining the  Cat,  to  make  sure  how  many  there 
were  of  it. 

"  But  how  do  you  know  it's  kind  to  the 

Mouses or,  more  correctly  speaking,  the 

Mice  ?" 

"  'cause  it  plays  with  the  Mouses,"  said  Bruno  ; 
"  for  to  amuse  them,  oo  know." 


xxii]  THE    BANQUET.  361 

"  But  that  is  just  what  I  dorit  know,"  the 
Other  Professor  rejoined.  "  My  belief  is,  it 
plays  with  them  to  kill  them  ! " 

"  Oh,  that's  quite  a  accident  I  "  Bruno  began, 
so  eagerly,  that  it  was  evident  he  had  already 
propounded  this  very  difficulty  to  the  Cat. 
"It  'splained  all  that  to  me,  while  it  were 
drinking  the  milk.  It  said  '  I  teaches  the 
Mouses  new  games  :  the  Mouses  likes  it  ever 
so  much.'  It  said  'Sometimes  little  accidents 
happens  :  sometimes  the  Mouses  kills  their- 
selves.'  It  said  '  I's  always  welly  sorry,  when 
the  Mouses  kills  theirselves.'  It  said— 

"  If  it  was  so  very  sorry,"  Sylvie  said,  rather 
disdainfully,  "it  wouldn't  eat  the  Mouses  after 
they'd  killed  themselves !  " 

But  this  difficulty,  also,  had  evidently  not 
been  lost  sight  of  in  the  exhaustive  ethical  dis- 
cussion just  concluded.  "  It  said—  (the 
orator  constantly  omitted,  as  superfluous,  his 
own  share  in  the  dialogue,  and  merely  gave  us 
the  replies  of  the  Cat)  "  It  said  '  Dead  Mouses 
never  objecks  to  be  eaten.'  It  said  'There's  no 
use  wasting  good  Mouses.'  It  said  '  Wifful— 
sumfinoruvver.  It  said  'And  oo  may  live  to 


362          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

say  '  How  much  I  wiss  I  had  the  Mouse  that 
then  I  frew  away  !'  It  said—  — ." 

"It  hadn't  time  to  say  such  a  lot  of  things  !  " 
Sylvie  interrupted  indignantly. 

"  Oo  doosn't  know  how  Cats  speaks  ! "  Bruno 
rejoined  contemptuously.  "  Cats  speaks  welly 
quick  ! " 


CHAPTER   XXIII. 

THE    PIG-TALE. 

BY  this  time  the  appetites  of  the  guests 
seemed  to  be  nearly  satisfied,  and  even  Bruno 
had  the  resolution  to  say,  when  the  Professor 
offered  him  a  fourth  slice  of  plum- pudding, 
"  I  thinks  three  helpings  is  enough  ! " 

Suddenly  the  Professor  started  as  if  he  had 
been  electrified.  "  Why,  I  had  nearly  for- 
gotten the  most  important  part  of  the  enter- 
tainment !  The  Other  Professor  is  to  recite  a 
Tale  of  a  Pig 1  mean  a  Pig-Tale,"  he  cor- 
rected himself.  "It  has  Introductory  Verses 
at  the  beginning,  and  at  the  end." 


364          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"It  ca'n't  have  Introductory  Verses  at  the 
end,  can  it  ? "  said  Sylvie. 

"  Wait  till  you  hear  it,"  said  the  Professor  : 
"  then  you'll  see.  I'm  not  sure  it  hasn't  some 
in  the  middle,  as  well."  Here  he  rose  to  his 
feet,  and  there  was  an  instant  silence  through 
the  Banqueting-Hall:  they  evidently  expected 
a  speech. 

"  Ladies,  and  gentlemen,"  the  Professor 
began,  "  the  Other  Professor  is  so  kind  as  to 
recite  a  Poem.  The  title  of  it  is  '  The  Pig- 
Tale.'  He  never  recited  it  before  !  "  (General 
cheering  among  the  guests.)  "  He  will  never 
recite  it  again !  "  (Frantic  excitement,  and  wild 
cheering  all  down  the  hall,  the  Professor  himself 
mounting  the  table  in  hot  haste,  to  lead  the 
cheering,  and  waving  his  spectacles  in  one  hand 
and  a  spoon  in  the  other.) 

Then  the  Other  Professor  got  up,  and 
began  :— 

Little  Birds  are  dining 

Warily  and  well, 

Hid  in  mossy  cell: 
Hid,  1  say,  by  waiters 
Gorgeous  in  their  gaiters — 

I've  a   Tale  to  tell. 


XXIll] 


THE    PIG-TALE 


365 


Little  Birds  are  feeding 
Justices  with  jam, 
Rich  in  frizzled  ham  : 
Rich,  I  say,  in  oysters 
Haunting  shady  cloisters  — 
That  is  what  I  am. 

Little  Birds  are  teaching 
Tigresses  to  smile, 
Innocent  of  guile  : 

Smile,  I  say,  not  smirkle  — 

Month  a  semicircle, 

That's  the  proper  style  ! 


Little  Birds  are  sleeping 
All  among  the  pins, 
Where  the  loser  wins: 
Where,  I  say,  he  sneezes 
When  and  how  he  pleases 
So  the    Tale  begins. 


jT-~lH_>     ^^ 

fflk 
gMpfrt 


366          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

There  was  a  Pig  that  sat  alone 

Beside  a  ruined  Pump  : 
By  day  and  night  he  made  his  moan — 
It  would  have  stirred  a  heart  of  stone 
To  see  him  wring  his  hoofs  and  groan, 

Because  he  could  not  jump. 


A   certain   Camel  heard  him  shout 

A   Camel  with  a  hump. 
"  Oh,  is  it  Grief,  or  is  it  Gout  ? 
What  is  this  bellowing  about  ?  " 
That  Pig  replied,  with  quivering  snout, 

"Because  I  cannot  jump  f" 

That  Camel  scanned  Jiirn,  dreamy-eyed. 

"  Met/links  you  are  too  plump. 
I  never  knew  a  Pig  so  wide — 
That  wobbled  so  from  side  to  side — 
Who  could,  however  much  he  tried, 

Do  such  a  thing  as  jump ! 


"  Yet  mark  those  trees,  two  miles  away, 

All  clustered  in  a  clump: 
If  you  could  trot  there  twice  a  day, 
Nor  ever  pause  for  rest  or  play, 
In  the  far  future Who  can  say  ?- 

You  may  be  fit  to  jump!' 


xxin] 


THE    PIG-TALE. 


367 


That  Camel  passed,  and  left  him  there 

Beside  the  ruined  Pump. 
Oh,  horrid  was  that  Pig's  despair  ! 
His  shrieks  of  anguish  filled  the  air. 
He  wrung  his  hoofs,  he  rent  his  hair, 

Because  he  could  not  jump. 


There  was  a  Frog  that  wandered  by 

A  sleek  and  shining  lump: 
Inspected  him  with  fishy  eye, 


368         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

And  said  "  O  Pig,  what  makes  you  cry  ?" 
And  bitter  was  that  Pig's  reply, 
"  Because  I  cannot  jump  !  " 

That  Frog  he  grinned  a  grin  of  glee, 

And  hit  his  chest  a  tJiump. 
"  O  Pig"  lie  said,  "  be  ruled  by  me, 
A  nd  you  shall  see  what  you  shall  see. 
This  minute,  for  a  trifling  fee, 

Til  teach  you  how  to  jump  ! 

"  You  may  be  faint  from  many  a  fall, 

And  bruised  by  many  a  bump: 
But,  if  you  persevere  through  all, 
And  practise  first  on  something  small, 
Concluding  with  a  ten-foot  wall, 
You'll  find  that  you  can  jump  !  " 

That  Pig  looked  up  with  joyful  start : 

"  Oh  Frog,  you  are  a  trump ! 
Your  words  have  healed  my  inward  smart- 
Come,  name  your  fee  and  do  your  part : 
Bring  comfort  to  a  broken  heart, 
By  teaching  me  to  jump  !  " 

"  My  fee  shall  be  a  mutton-chop, 

My  goal  this  ruined  Pump. 
Observe  with  what  an  airy  flop 


XXIIl] 


THE    PIG-TALE. 


369 


/  plant  myself  upon  the  top  ! 
Nozv  bend  your  knees  and  take  a  hop, 
For  that's  the  way  to  jump  !  " 


Uprose  that  Pig,  and  rushed,  full  whack. 

Against  the  ruined  Pump : 
Rolled  over  like  an  empty  sack, 
And  settled  down  upon  his  back, 
While  all  his  bones  at  once  went  '  Crack  ! ' 

It  was  a  fatal  jump. 

B    B 


370          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

When  the  Other  Professor  had  recited  this 
Verse,  he  went  across  to  the  fire-place,  and 
put  his  head  up  the  chimney.  In  doing  this, 
he  lost  his  balance,  and  fell  head-first  into  the 
empty  grate,  and  got  so  firmly  fixed  there 
that  it  was  some  time  before  he  could  be 
dragged  out  again. 

Bruno  had  had  time  to  say  "  I  thought  he 
wanted  to  see  how  many  peoples  was  up 
the  chimbley." 

And  Sylvie  had  said  "  Chimney not 

chimbley." 

And  Bruno  had  said  "  Don't  talk  'ubbish  !  " 

All  this,  while  the  Other  Professor  was  being 
extracted. 

"  You  must  have  blacked  your  face !  "  the 
Empress  said  anxiously.  "  Let  me  send  for 
some  soap  ?  " 

"  Thanks,  no,"  said  the  Other  Professor, 
keeping  his  face  turned  away.  "  Black's  quite 
a  respectable  colour.  Besides,  soap  would  be 
no  use  without  water." 

Keeping  his  back  well  turned  away  from 
the  audience,  he  went  on  with  the  Intro- 
ductory Verses ; 


xxm] 


THE    PIG-TALE. 


371 


Little  Birds  are  writing 
Interesting  books, 
To  be  read  by  cooks  : 
Read,  I  say,  not  roasted— 
Letterpress,  when  toasted, 
Loses  its  good  looks. 

Little  Birds  are  playing 
Bagpipes  on  the  shore, 
Where  the  tourists  snore . 

'  Thanks  !  "  they  cry.     "  '  Tis 
thrilling  ! 

Take,  oh  take  this  shilling! 
Let  us  have  no  more  ! " 

Little  Birds  are  bathing 
Crocodiles  in  cream, 
Like   a  happy  dream : 
Like,  but  not  so  lasting — 
Crocodiles,  when  fasting, 
A  re  not  all  they  seem  ! 


372          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


That  Camel  passed,  as  Day  grew  dim 

Around  the  ruined  Pump. 
"  O  broken  heart !    O  broken  limb  ! 
ft  needs"  that  Camel  said  to  him, 
"  Something  more  fairy-like  and  slim, 

To  execute  a  jump  !  " 


That  Pig  lay  still  as  any  stone, 

A  nd  could  not  stir  a  stump : 
Nor  ever,  if  the  trutJi  were  known, 


xxiii]  THE    PIG-TALE. 

Was  lie  again  observed  to  moan, 
Nor  ever  wring  liis  hoofs  and  groan, 
Because  he  could  not  jump. 

Tliat  Frog  made  no  remark,  for  he 

Was  dismal  as  a  dump : 
He  knew  the  consequence  must  be 
That  lie  would  never  get  his  fee — 
And  still  he  sits,  in  miserie, 
Upon  that  ruined  Pump  ! 


373 


"It's  a  miserable  story!"  said  Bruno.  "It 
begins  miserably,  and  it  ends  miserablier.  I 
think  I  shall  cry.  Sylvie,  please  lend  me  your 
handkerchief." 


374          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  I  haven't  got  it  with  me,"  Sylvie  whispered. 

"  Then  I  won't  cry,"  said  Bruno  manfully. 

"There  are  more  Introductory  Verses  to 
come,"  said  the  Other  Professor,  "but  I'm 
hungry."  He  sat  down,  cut  a  large  slice 
of  cake,  put  it  on  Bruno's  plate,  and  gazed 
at  his  own  empty  plate  in  astonishment. 

"Where  did  you  get  that  cake?"  Sylvie 
whispered  to  Bruno. 

"  He  gived  it  me,"  said  Bruno. 

"  But  you  shouldn't  ask  for  things  !  You 
know  you  shouldn't !  " 

"  I  didrit  ask,"  said  Bruno,  taking  a  fresh 
mouthful :  "  he  gived  it  me." 

Sylvie  considered  this  for  a  moment :  then 
she  saw  her  way  out  of  it.  "  Well,  then,  ask 
him  to  give  me  some  ! " 

"  You  seem  to  enjoy  that  cake  ?  "  the  Pro- 
fessor remarked. 

"  Doos  that  mean  '  munch  '  ?  "  Bruno  whis- 
pered to  Sylvie. 

Sylvie  nodded.  "  It  means  'to  munch'  and 
'  to  like  to  munch.' ' 

Bruno  smiled  at  the  Professor.  "  I  doos 
enjoy  it,"  he  said. 


xxni]  THE    PIG-TALE.  375 

The  Other  Professor  caught  the  word.  "  And 
I  hope  you're  enjoying  yourself,  little  Man  ?  "" 
he  enquired. 

Bruno's  look  of  horror  quite  startled  him. 
"  No,  indeed  I  aren't!"  he  said. 

The  Other  Professor  looked  thoroughly 
puzzled.  "  Well,  well !  "  he  said.  "  Try  some 
cowslip  wine  ! "  And  he  filled  a  glass  and 
handed  it  to  Bruno.  "  Drink  this,  my  dear,, 
and  you'll  be  quite  another  man  ! " 

"  Who  shall  I  be  ?  "  said  Bruno,  pausing  in 
the  act  of  putting  it  to  his  lips. 

"  Don't  ask  so  many  questions ! "  Sylvie 
interposed,  anxious  to  save  the  poor  old  man 
from  further  bewilderment.  "  Suppose  we  get 
the  Professor  to  tell  us  a  story." 

Bruno  adopted  the  idea  with  enthusiasm. 
"  Please  do  ! "  he  cried  eagerly.  "  Sumfin 
about  tigers and  bumble-bees and  robin- 
redbreasts,  oo  knows  !  " 

"  Why  should  you  always  have  live  things 
in  stories  ?"  said  the  Professor.  "Why  don't 
you  have  events,  or  circumstances  ?  " 

"Q\\t  please  invent  a  story  like  that! "cried 
Bruno. 


376          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

The  Professor  began  fluently  enough.  "  Once 
a  coincidence  was  taking  a  walk  with  a  little 

accident,  and  they  met  an  explanation a  very 

old    explanation so    old    that    it    was    quite 

doubled  up,  and  looked    more    like    a    conun- 
drum  "  he  broke  off  suddenly. 

"  Please  go  on  ! "  both  children  exclaimed. 

The  Professor  made  a  candid  confession. 
"  It's  a  very  difficult  sort  to  invent,  I  find. 
Suppose  Bruno  tells  one,  first." 

Bruno  was  only  too  happy  to  adopt  the 
suggestion. 

"  Once  there  were  a  Pig,  and  a  Accordion, 
and  two  Jars  of  Orange-marmalade — 

"  The  dramatis  persons"  murmured  the 
Professor.  "  Well,  what  then  ?  " 

"  So,  when  the  Pig  played  on  the  Accordion," 
Bruno  went  on,  "  one  of  the  Jars  of  Orange- 
marmalade  didn't  like  the  tune,  and  the  other 
Jar  of  Orange-marmalade  did  like  the  tune — 
I  know  I  shall  get  confused  among  those  Jars 
of  Orange-marmalade,  Sylvie  !  "  he  whispered 
anxiously. 

"  I  will  now  recite  the  other  Introductory 
Verses,"  said  the  Other  Professor. 


XXIll] 


THE    PIG-TALE. 


377 


Little  Birds  are  choking 
Baronets  with  him, 
Taught  to  fire  a  gun : 
TaugJit,  I  say,  to  splinter 
Salmon   in  the  zvinter — 
Merely  for  the  fun. 

Little  Birds  are  hiding 
Crimes  in  carpet-bags, 
Blessed  by  happy  stags: 
Blessed,  I  say,  though  beaten — 
Since  our  friends  are  eaten 
When  the  memory  flags. 

Little  Birds  are  tasting 
Gratitude  and  gold, 
Pale  with  sudden  cold: 
Pale,  I  say,  and  wrinkled — 
When  the  bells  have  tinkled, 
And  the   Tale  is  told. 


SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


That  Camel  passed,  as  Day  grew  dim 

Around  the  ruined  Pump. 
"  O  broken  heart  !    O  broken  limb  ! 
It  needs"  that   Camel  said  to  him, 
"  Something  more  fairy-like  and  slim, 

To  execute  a  jump  !  " 


That  Pig  lay  still  as  any  stone, 

A  nd  could  not  stir  a  stump  : 
Nor  ever,  if  the  truth  were  known, 


XXIII] 


THE    PIG-TALE. 


373 


Was  lie  again  observed  to  moan, 
Nor  ever  wring  his  hoofs  and  groan, 
Because  he  could  not  jump. 

That  Frog  made  no  remark,  for  he 

Was  dismal  as  a  dump  : 
He  knew  the  consequence  must  be 
That  he  would  never  get  his  fee — 
And  still  he  sits,  in  miser ie, 
Upon  that  ruined  Pump  ! 


"It's  a  miserable  story!"  said  Bruno.  "  It 
begins  miserably,  and  it  ends  miserablier.  I 
think  I  shall  cry.  Sylvie,  please  lend  me  your 
handkerchief." 


380         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

The  Lord  Chancellor  wrung  his  hands  in 
despair.  "  He  is  mad,  good  people!  "  he  was 
beginning.  But  both  speeches  stopped  sud- 
denly  and,  in  the  dead  silence  that  followed, 

a  knocking  was  heard  at  the  outer  door. 

"  What  is  it  ?  "  was  the  general  cry.  People 
began  running  in  and  out.  The  excitement 
increased  every  moment.  The  Lord  Chancellor, 
forgetting  all  the  rules  of  Court-ceremony,  ran 
full  speed  down  the  hall,  and  in  a  minute 
returned,  pale  and  gasping  for  breath. 


CHAPTER   XXIV. 

THE    BEGGAR'S    RETURN. 

"  YOUR  Imperial  Highnesses  !  "  he  began. 
"  It's  the  old  Beggar  again!  Shall  we  set  the 
dogs  at  him  ?  " 

"  Bring  him  here  !  "  said  the  Emperor 

The  Chancellor  could  scarcely  believe  his 
ears.  "  Here,  your  Imperial  Highness  ?  Did 
I  rightly  understand .' 

"  Bring  him  here  !  "  the  Emperor  thundered 
once  more,  The  Chancellor  tottered  down 

the  hall and  in  another  minute  the  crowd 

divided,  and  the  poor  old  Beggar  was  seen 
entering  the  Banqueting- Hall. 


382          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


He  was  indeed  a  pitiable  object  :  the  rags, 
that  hung  about  him,  were  all  splashed  with 
mud  :  his  white  hair  and  his  long  beard  were 
tossed  about  in  wild  disorder.  Yet  he  walked 
upright,  with  a  stately  tread,  as  if  used  to  com- 
mand :  and strangest  sight  of  all Sylvie 

and  Bruno  came  with  him,  clinging  to  his  hands, 
and  gazing  at  him  with  looks  of  silent  love. 


xxiv]  THE    BEGGAR'S    RETURN.  383 

Men  looked  eagerly  to  see  how  the  Em- 
peror would  receive  the  bold  intruder.  Would 
he  hurl  him  from  the  steps  of  the  dais  ?  But 
no.  To  their  utter  astonishment,  the  Emper- 
or knelt  as  the  beggar  approached,  and  with 
bowed  head  murmured  "  Forgive  us ! " 

"  Forgive  us  !  "  the  Empress,  kneeling  at  her 
husband's  side,  meekly  repeated. 

The  Outcast  smiled.  "  Rise  up  !  "  he  said. 
"  I  forgive  you  !  "  And  men  saw  with  wonder 
that  a  change  had  passed  over  the  old  beggar, 
even  as  he  spoke.  What  had  seemed,  but  now, 
to  be  vile  rags  and  splashes  of  mud,  were  seen 
to  be  in  truth  kingly  trappings,  broidered  with 
gold,  and  sparkling  with  gems.  All  knew  him 
now,  and  bent  low  before  the  Elder  Brother,  the 
true  Warden. 

"  Brother  mine,  and  Sister  mine  !  "  the  War- 
den began,  in  a  clear  voice  that  was  heard  all 
through  that  vast  hall.  "  I  come  not  to  disturb 
you.  Rule  on,  as  Emperor,  and  rule  wisely. 
For  I  am  chosen  King  of  Elfland.  To-morrow 
I  return  there,  taking  nought  from  hence,  save 

only save  only "  his  voice  trembled,  and 

with  a  look  of  ineffable  tenderness,  he  laid 


384          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED, 

his  hands  in  silence  on  the  heads  of  the    two 
little  ones  who  clung  around  him. 

But  he  recovered  himself  in  a  moment,  and 
beckoned  to  the  Emperor  to  resume  his  place 
at  the  table.  The  company  seated  themselves 

again room  being  found  for  the   Elfin- King 

between    his    two     children and    the     Lord 

Chancellor    rose    once    more,    to    propose   the 
next  toast. 

"  The  next   toast the  hero   of  the  day- 
why,    he    isn't    here ! "    he    broke    off    in    wild 
confusion. 

Good  gracious !  Everybody  had  forgotten 
Prince  Uggug  ! 

"  He  was  told  of  the  Banquet,  of  course  ?  " 
said  the  Emperor. 

"  Undoubtedly  !  "  replied  the  Chancellor. 
"  That  would  be  the  duty  of  the  Gold  Stick 
in  Waiting." 

"  Let  the  Gold  Stick  come  forwards !  "  the 
Emperor  gravely  said. 

The  Gold  Stick  came  forwards.  "  I  attended 
on  His  Imperial  Fatness,"  was  the  statement 
made  by  the  trembling  official.  "  I  told  him 
of  the  Lecture  and  the  Banquet ." 


xxiv]  THE    BEGGAR'S    RETURN.  385 

"What  followed?"  said  the  Emperor:  for 
the  unhappy  man  seemed  almost  too  frightened 
to  go  on. 

"  His  Imperial  Fatness  was  graciously  pleased 
to  be  sulky.  His  Imperial  Fatness  was  gra- 
ciously pleased  to  box  my  ears.  His  Imperial 
Fatness  was  graciously  pleased  to  say  '  I  don't 
care  ! ' " 

"  '  Don't-care '  came  to  a  bad  end,"  Sylvie 
whispered  to  Bruno.  "  I'm  not  sure,  but  I 
believe  he  was  hanged." 

The  Professor  overheard  her.  "  That  result," 
he  blandly  remarked,  "  was  merely  a  case  of 
mistaken  identity." 

Both  children  looked  puzzled. 

"  Permit  me  to  explain.  '  Don't-care  '  and 
'  Care'  were  twin-brothers.  '  Care,'  you  know, 
killed  the  Cat.  And  they  caught  '  Don't-care ' 
by  mistake,  and  hanged  him  instead.  And  so 
'  Care '  is  alive  still.  But  he's  very  unhappy 
without  his  brother.  That's  why  they  say 
'  Begone,  dull  Care  ! ' " 

"  Thank  you  !  "  Sylvie  said,  heartily.  "  It's 
very  extremely  interesting.  Why,  it  seems  to 
explain  everything!" 

c  c 


386  SYLVIE    AND  BRUNO     CONCLUDED. 

"  Well,  not  quite  everything,  "  the  Professor 
modestly  rejoined.  "  There  are  two  or  three 
scientific  difficulties — 

"  What  was  your  general  impression  as  to 
His  Imperial  Fatness  ? "  the  Emperor  asked 
the  Gold  Stick. 

"  My  impression  was  that  His  Imperial  Fat- 
ness was  getting  more— 

"  More  what  ?  " 

All  listened  breathlessly  for  the  next  word. 

"  More  PRICKLY  !" 

"He  must  be  sent  for  at  once!"  the  Em- 
peror exclaimed.  And  the  Gold  Stick  went  off 
like  a  shot.  The  Elfin-King  sadly  shook  his 
head.  "  No  use,  no  use  ! "  he  murmured  to 
himself.  "  Loveless,  loveless  !" 

Pale,  trembling,  speechless,  the  Gold  Stick 
came  slowly  back  again. 

"Well?"  said  the  Emperor.  "Why  does 
not  the  Prince  appear  ? " 

"  One  can  easily  guess,  said  the  Professor. 
"  His  Imperial  Fatness  is,  without  doubt,  a 
little  preoccupied." 

Bruno  turned  a  look  of  solemn  enquiry  on 
his  old  friend.  "  What  do  that  word  mean  ?" 


xxiv]  THE    BEGGAR'S    RETURN.  387 

But  the  Professor  took  no  notice  of  the  ques- 
tion. He  was  eagerly  listening  to  the  Gold 
Stick's  reply. 

"  Please  your  Highness  !  His  Imperial  Fat- 
ness is—  Not  a  word  more  could  he  utter. 

The  Empress  rose  in  an  agony  of  alarm. 
"  Let  us  go  to  him ! "  she  cried.  And  there 
was  a  general  rush  for  the  door. 

Bruno  slipped  off  his  chair  in  a  moment. 
"May  we  go  too?"  he  eagerly  asked.  But 
the  King  did  not  hear  the  question,  as  the 
Professor  was  speaking  to  him.  "  Preoccupied, 
your  Majesty ! "  he  was  saying.  "  That  is 
what  he  is,  no  doubt ! " 

"  May  we  go  and  see  him  ? "  Bruno  repeated. 
The  King  nodded  assent,  and  the  children  ran 
off.  In  a  minute  or  two  they  returned,  slowly 
and  gravely.  "  Well  ? "  said  the  King.  "  What's 
the  matter  with  the  Prince  ? " 

"  He's  -  -  what  you  said,'"  Bruno  replied 
looking  at  the  Professor.  "  That  hard  word." 
And  he  looked  to  Sylvie  for  assistance. 

"  Porcupine,"  said  Sylvie. 

"  No,  no ! "  the  Professor  corrected  her. 
"  '  Pre-occupied'  you  mean." 

C    C    2 


SYLVIE  AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


xxiv]  THE    BEGGAR'S    RETURN.  389 

"  No,  it's  porcupine"  persisted  Sylvie.  "  Not 
that  other  word  at  all.  And  please  will  you 
come  ?  The  house  is  all  in  an  uproar."  ("And 
oo'd  better  bring  an  uproar-glass  wiz  oo  ! " 
added  Bruno.) 

We  got  up  in  great  haste,  and  followed  the 
children  upstairs.  No  one  took  the  least  notice 
of  me,  but  I  wasn't  at  all  surprised  at  this,  as  I 
had  long  realised  that  I  was  quite  invisible  to 
them  all even  to  Sylvie  and  Bruno. 

All  along  the  gallery,  that  led  to  the  Prince's 
apartment,  an  excited  crowd  was  surging  to  and 
fro,  and  the  Babel  of  voices  was  deafening : 
against  the  door  of  the  room  three  strong  men 

were  leaning,  vainly  trying  to  shut  it for  some 

great  animal  inside  was  constantly  bursting  it 
half  open,  and  we  had  a  glimpse,  before  the  men 
could  push  it  back  again,  of  the  head  of  a  furious 
wild  beast,  with  great  fiery  eyes  and  gnashing 

teeth.  Its  voice  was  a  sort  of  mixture there 

was  the  roaring  of  a  lion,  and  the  bellowing  of  a 
bull,  and  now  and  then  a  scream  like  a  gigantic 
parrot.  "  There  is  no  judging  by  the  voice  !  " 
the  Professor  cried  in  great  excitement.  "  What 
is  it  ? "  he  shouted  to  the  men  at  the  door. 


390          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

And  a  general  chorus  of  voices  answered  him 
"  Porcupine  !  Prince  Uggug  has  turned  into 
a  Porcupine ! " 

"  A  new  Specimen  ! "  exclaimed  the  delighted 
Professor.  "  Pray  let  me  go  in.  It  should  be 
labeled  at  once  !  " 

But  the  strong  men  only  pushed  him  back. 
"Label  it,  indeed!  Do  you  want  to  be  eaten 
up  ?  "  they  cried. 

"  Never  mind  about  Specimens,  Professor  !  " 
said  the  Emperor,  pushing  his  way  through  the 
crowd.  "  Tell  us  how  to  keep  him  safe  !  " 

"  A  large  cage  !  "  the  Professor  promptly  re- 
plied. "  Bring  a  large  cage,"  he  said  to  the 
people  generally,  "  with  strong  bars  of  steel, 
and  a  portcullis  made  to  go  up  and  down  like 
a  mouse-trap  !  Does  any  one  happen  to  have 
such  a  thing  about  him  ?  " 

It  didn't  sound  a  likely  sort  of  thing  for  any 
one  to  have  about  him  ;  however,  they  brought 
him  one  directly  :  curiously  enough,  there  hap- 
pened to  be  one  standing  in  the  gallery. 

"  Put  it  facing  the  opening  of  the  door,  and 
draw  up  the  portcullis !  "  This  was  done  in  a 
moment. 


xxiv]  THE    BEGGAR'S    RETURN.  391 

"  Blankets  now !  "  cried  the  Professor.  "  This 
is  a  most  interesting  Experiment !  " 

There  happened  to  be  a  pile  of  blankets 
close  by:  and  the  Professor  had  hardly  said  the 
word,  when  they  were  all  unfolded  and  held  up 
like  curtains  all  around.  The  Professor  rapidly 
arranged  them  in  two  rows,  so  as  to  make  a 
dark  passage,  leading  straight  from  the  door  to 
the  mouth  of  the  cage. 

"  Now  fling  the  door  open!  "  This  did  not 
need  to  be  done  :  the  three  men  had  only  to 
leap  out  of  the  way,  and  the  fearful  monster 
flung  the  door  open  for  itself,  and,  with  a  yell 
like  the  whistle  of  a  steam-engine,  rushed  into 
the  cage. 

"  Down  with  the  portcullis !  "  No  sooner 
said  than  done :  and  all  breathed  freely  once 
more,  on  seeing  the  Porcupine  safely  caged. 

The  Professor  rubbed  his  hands  in  childish 
delight.  "  The  Experiment  has  succeeded !  "  he 
proclaimed.  "  All  that  is  needed  now  is  to 
feed  it  three  times  a  day,  on  chopped  carrots 
and ." 

"  Never  mind  about  its  food,  just  now ! " 
the  Emperor  interrupted.  "  Let  us  return  to 


392          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

the  Banquet.  Brother,  will  you  lead  the  way  ?  " 
And  the  old  man,  attended  by  his  children, 
headed  the  procession  down  stairs.  "Seethe 
fate  of  a  loveless  life  !  "  he  said  to  Bruno,  as 
they  returned  to  their  places.  To  which 
Bruno  made  reply,  "  I  always  loved  Sylvie, 
so  I'll  never  get  prickly  like  that !  " 

"  He  is  prickly,  certainly,"  said  the  Professor, 
who  had  caught  the  last  words,  "but  we  must 
remember  that,  however  porcupiny,  he  is  royal 
still  !  After  this  feast  is  over,  I'm  going  to 

take  a  little  present    to   Prince    Uggug just 

to  soothe  him,  you  know  :  it  isn't  pleasant 
living  in  a  cage." 

"What'll  you  give  him  for  a  birthday-pre- 
sent ?  "  Bruno  enquired. 

"  A  small  saucer  of  chopped  carrots,"  replied 
the  Professor.  "In  giving  birthday-presents, 

my  motto  is cheapness  !     I   should   think    I 

save  forty  pounds  a  year  by  giving oh,  what 

a  twinge  of  pain  !  " 

"  What  is  it  ?  "  said  Sylvie  anxiously. 

"My  old   enemy!"  groaned  the    Professor. 

"  Lumbago rheumatism that  sort  of  thing. 

I   think  I'll  go  and  lie  down  a  bit."     And  he 


xxiv]  THE    BEGGAR'S    RETURN.  393 

hobbled  out  of  the  Saloon,  watched  by  the 
pitying  eyes  of  the  two  children. 

"  He'll  be  better  soon  ! "  the  Elfin- King  said 
cheerily.  "  Brother !  "  turning  to  the  Emperor, 
"  I  have  some  business  to  arrange  with  you 
to-night.  The  Empress  will  take  care  of  the 
children."  And  the  two  Brothers  went  away 
together,  arm-in-arm. 

The  Empress  found  the  children  rather  sad 
company.  They  could  talk  of  nothing  but 
"  the  dear  Professor,"  and  "  what  a  pity  he's 
so  ill ! ",  till  at  last  she  made  the  welcome 
proposal  "  Let's  go  and  see  him ! " 

The  children  eagerly  grasped  the  hands  she 
offered  them  :  and  we  went  off  to  the  Profes- 
sor's study,  and  found  him  lying  on  the  sofa, 
covered  up  with  blankets,  and  reading  a  little 
manuscript-book.  "  Notes  on  Vol.  Three  !  "  he 
murmured,  looking  up  at  us.  And  there,  on  a 
table  near  him,  lay  the  book  he  was  seeking 
when  first  I  saw  him. 

"  And  how  are  you  now,  Professor  ? "  the 
Empress  asked,  bending  over  the  invalid. 

The  Professor  looked  up,  and  smiled  feebly. 
"As  devoted  to  your  Imperial  Highness  as 


394         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED 

ever!"  he  said  in  a  weak  voice.     "All  of  me, 
that  is  not  Lumbago,  is  Loyalty ! " 

"  A  sweet  sentiment ! "  the  Empress  ex- 
claimed with  tears  in  her  eyes.  "You  seldom 

hear  anything  so  beautiful   as  that even  in 

a  Valentine ! " 

"  We  must  take  you  to  stay  at  the  seaside," 
Sylvie  said,  tenderly.  "  It'll  do  you  ever  so 
much  good  !  And  the  Sea's  so  grand  !  " 

"  But  a  Mountain's  grander  !  "  said  Bruno. 

"  What  is  there  grand  about  the  Sea  ?  "  said 
the  Professor.  "  Why,  you  could  put  it  all 
into  a  teacup  !  " 

"  Some  of  it,"  Sylvie  corrected  him. 

"  Well,  you'd  only  want  a  certain  number 
of  tea-cups  to  hold  it  all.  And  then  where's 

the  grandeur  ?    Then  as  to  a  Mountain why, 

you  could  carry  it  all  away  in  a  wheel-barrow, 
in  a  certain  number  of  years !  " 

"  It  wouldn't  look  grand the  bits  of  it  in 

the  wheel-barrow,"  Sylvie  candidly  admitted. 

"  But  when    oo   put   it    together   again— 
Bruno  began. 

"  When  you're  older,"  said  the  Professor, 
" you'll  know  that  you  cant  put  Mountains 


xxiv]  THE    BEGGAR'S    RETURN.  395 

together  again  so  easily !     One  lives  and  one 
learns,  you  know  ! " 

"  But  it  needn't  be  the  same  one,  need  it  ?  " 
said  Bruno.  "  Wo' n't  it  do,  if  /  live,  and  if 
Sylvie  learns  ? " 

"  I  cant  learn  without  living  ! "  said  Sylvie. 

"But  I  can  live  without  learning!"  Bruno 
retorted.  "  Oo  just  try  me  !  " 

"  What  I  meant,  was—    "  the  Professor  began, 

looking  much  puzzled,  "——was that  you  don't 

know  everything,  you  know." 

"But  I  do  know  everything  I  know!"  per- 
sisted the  little  fellow.  "  I  know  ever  so  many- 
things  !  Everything,  'cept  the  things  I  don't 
know.  And  Sylvie  knows  all  the  rest.  " 

The  Professor  sighed,  and  gave  it  up.  "  Do 
you  know  what  a  Boojum  is  ? " 

"7  know!"  cried  Bruno.  "It's  the  thing 
what  wrenches  people  out  of  their  boots  !  " 

"He  means  '  bootjack, '  Sylvie  explained 
in  a  whisper. 

"You  ca'n't  wrench  people  out  of  boots"  the 
Professor  mildly  observed. 

Bruno  laughed  saucily.  "  Oo  can,  though  ! 
Unless  they're  welly  tight  in." 


396         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Once  upon  a  time  there  was  a  Boojum- 


the  Professor  began,  but  stopped  suddenly. 
"  I  forget  the  rest  of  the  Fable,"  he  said. 
"  And  there  was  a  lesson  to  be  learned  from 
it.  I'm  afraid  I  forget  that,  too." 

"  /'//  tell  oo  a  Fable ! "  Bruno  began  in 
a  great  hurry.  "Once  there  were  a  Locust, 
and  a  Magpie,  and  a  Engine-driver.  And  the 
Lesson  is,  to  learn  to  get  up  early— 

"  It  isn't  a  bit  interesting!"  Sylvie  said  con- 
temptuously. "  You  shouldn't  put  the  Lesson 
so  soon." 

"  When  did  you  invent  that  Fable  ?  "  said 
the  Professor.  "  Last  week  ?  " 

"No!"  said  Bruno.  "A  deal  shorter  ago 
than  that.  Guess  again  !  " 

"  I  ca'n't  guess,"  said  the  Professor.  "  How 
long  ago  ? " 

"  Why,  it  isn't  invented  yet ! "  Bruno  ex- 
claimed triumphantly.  "  But  I  have  invented 
a  lovely  one  !  Shall  I  say  it  ?  " 

"  If  you've  finished  inventing  it,"  said  Syl- 
vie. "  And  let  the  Lesson  be  '  to  try  again  ' ! " 

"  No,"  said  Bruno  with  great  decision.  "  The 
Lesson  are  '  not  to  try  again  ' !  "  "  Once  there 


xxiv]  THE    BEGGAR'S    RETURN.  397 

were  a  lovely  china  man,  what  stood  on  the 
chimbley-piece.  And  he  stood,  and  he  stood. 
And  one  day  he  tumbleded  off,  and  he  didn't 
hurt  his  self  one  bit.  Only  he  would  try  again. 
And  the  next  time  he  tumbleded  off,  he  hurted 
his  self  welly  much,  and  breaked  off  ever  so 
much  varnish." 

"  But  how  did  he  come  back  on  the  chim- 
ney-piece after  his  first  tumble  ? "  said  the 
Empress.  (It  was  the  first  sensible  question 
she  had  asked  in  all  her  life. 

"/put  him  there  !  "  cried  Bruno. 

"  Then  I'm  afraid  you  know  something  about 
his  tumbling,"  said  the  Professor.  "  Perhaps 
you  pushed  him  ?  " 

To  which  Bruno  replied,  very  seriously, 

"  Didn't  pushed  him  muck he  were  a  lovely 

china  man,"  he  added  hastily,  evidently  very 
anxious  to  change  the  subject. 

"  Come,  my  children  !  "  said  the  Elfin- King, 
who  had  just  entered  the  room.  "  We  must 
have  a  little  chat  together,  before  you  go  to 
bed."  And  he  was  leading  them  away,  but 
at  the  door  they  let  go  his  hands,  and  ran  back 
again  to  wish  the  Professor  good  night. 


398         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


"  Good  night,  Professor,  good  night !  "  And 
Bruno  solemnly  shook  hands  with  the  old 
man,  who  gazed  at  him  with  a  loving  smile, 
while  Sylvie  bent  down  to  press  her  sweet  lips 
upon  his  forehead. 

"  Good  night,  little  ones  ! "  said  the  Professor. 

"  You  may  leave  me  now to  ruminate.  I'm 

as  jolly  as  the  day  is  long,  except  when  it's 
necessary  to  ruminate  on  some  very  difficult 
subject.  All  of  me,"  he  murmured  sleepily 


xxiv]  THE    BEGGAR'S    RETURN.  399 

as  we  left  the  room,  "  all  of  me,  that  isn't 
Bonhommie,  is  Rumination !  " 

"  What  did  he  say,  Bruno  ? "  Sylvie  enquired, 
as  soon  as  we  were  safely  out  of  hearing. 

"  I  think  he  said  '  All  of  me  that  isn't  Bone- 
disease  is  Rheumatism.'  Whatever  are  that 
knocking,  Sylvie  ?  " 

Sylvie  stopped,  and  listened  anxiously.  It 
sounded  like  some  one  kicking  at  a  door.  "  I 
hope  it  isn't  that  Porcupine  breaking  loose  ! " 
she  exclaimed. 

"  Let's  go  on  !  "  Bruno  said  hastily.  "  There's 
nuffin  to  wait  for,  oo  know ! ' 


CHAPTER  XXV. 

LIFE    OUT    OF    DEATH. 

THE  sound  of  kicking,  or  knocking,  grew 
louder  every  moment :  and  at  last  a  door  opened 
somewhere  near  us.  "  Did  you  say  '  come  in  ! ' 
Sir  ? "  my  landlady  asked  timidly. 

"  Oh  yes,  come  in  ! "  I  replied.  "  What's 
the  matter  ?  " 

"  A  note  has  just  been  left  for  you,  Sir,  by 
the  baker's  boy.  He  said  he  was  passing  the 
Hall,  and  they  asked  him  to  come  round  and 
leave  it  here." 

The  note  contained  five  words  only.  "  Please 
come  at  once.  Muriel." 


xxv]  LIFE    OUT    OF    DEATH.  401 

A  sudden  terror  seemed  to  chill  my  very 
heart.  "  The  Earl  is  ill !  "  I  said  to  myself. 
"  Dying,  perhaps  !  "  And  I  hastily  prepared 
to  leave  the  house. 

"  No  bad  news,  Sir,  I  hope  ?"  my  landlady 
said,  as  she  saw  me  out.  "  The  boy  said  as 
some  one  had  arrived  unexpectedly ." 

11  I  hope  that  is  it !  "  I  said.  But  my  feelings 
were  those  of  fear  rather  than  of  hope  :  though, 
on  entering  the  house,  I  was  somewhat  reassured 
by  finding  luggage  lying  in  the  entrance,  bear- 
ing the  initials  "  E.  L." 

"  It's  only  Eric  Lindon  after  all ! "  I  thought, 
half  relieved  and  half  annoyed.  "  Surely  she 
need  not  have  sent  for  me  for  that !  " 

Lady  Muriel  met  me  in  the  passage.  Her 
eyes  were  gleaming— but  it  was  the  excite- 
ment of  joy,  rather  than  of  grief.  "  I  have 
a  surprise  for  you !  "  she  whispered. 

"  You  mean  that  Eric  Lindon  is  here  ?  "  I 
said,  vainly  trying  to  disguise  the  involuntary 
bitterness  of  my  tone.  "  '  The  funeral  baked 
meats  did  coldly  furnish  forth  the  marriage- 
tables^  "  I  could  not  help  repeating  to  myself. 
How  cruelly  I  was  misjudging  her  ! 

D  D 


402          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED'. 

"No,  no!"  she  eagerly  replied.     "At  least 
—Eric  is  here.   But—  — ,"  her  voice  quivered, 


"  but  there  is  another  !  " 

No    need    for    further    question.      I    eagerly 
followed  her  in.     There  on  the  bed,  he  lay- 
pale  and  worn the  mere  shadow  of  his  old 

self my   old  friend    come   back    again    from 

the  dead  ! 

"Arthur!"  I  exclaimed.  I  could  not  say 
another  word. 

"  Yes,  back  again,  old  boy  ! "  he  murmured, 
smiling  as  I  grasped  his  hand.      "  He"  indica- 
ting Eric,  who  stood   near,  "saved  my  life— 
He  brought  me  back.      Next  to  God,  we  must 
thank  him,  Muriel,  my  wife !  " 

Silently  I  shook  hands  with  Eric  and  with 
the  Earl :  and  with  one  consent  we  moved  into 
the  shaded  side  of  the  room,  where  we  could 
talk  without  disturbing  the  invalid,  who  lay, 
silent  and  happy,  holding  his  wife's  hand  in 
his,  and  watching  her  with  eyes  that  shone 
with  the  deep  steady  light  of  Love. 

"  He  has  been  delirious  till  to-day,"  Eric 
explained  in  a  low  voice  :  "  and  even  to-day  he 
has  been  wandering  more  than  once.  But  the 


xxv]  LIFE    OUT    OF    DEATH.  403 

sight  of  her  has  been  new  life  to  him."  And 
then  he  went  on  to  tell  us,  in  would-be  careless 

tones 1  knew  how  he  hated  any  display  of 

feeling how  he  had  insisted  on  going  back  to 

the  plague-stricken  town,  to  bring  away  a  man 
whom  the  doctor  had  abandoned  as  dying,  but 
who  might,  he  fancied,  recover  if  brought  to 
the  hospital  :  how  he  had  seen  nothing  in  the 
wasted  features  to  remind  him  of  Arthur,  and 
only  recognised  him  when  he  visited  the 
hospital  a  month  after  :  how  the  doctor  had 
forbidden  him  to  announce  the  discovery,  say- 
ing that  any  shock  to  the  over-taxed  brain 
might  kill  him  at  once  :  how  he  had  staid  on  at 
the  hospital,  and  nursed  the  sick  man  by  night 

and  day all  this  with  the  studied  indifference 

of  one  who  is  relating  the  commonplace  acts 
of  some  chance  acquaintance ! 

"  And  this  was  his  rival !  "  I  thought.  "  The 
man  who  had  won  from  him  the  heart  of  the 
woman  he  loved  !  " 

"  The  sun  is  setting,"  said  Lady  Muriel, 
rising  and  leading  the  way  to  the  open  window. 
"Just  look  at  the  western  sky!  What  lovely 
crimson  tints !  We  shall  have  a  glorious  day 

D  D  2 


404         SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 


xxv]  LIFE    OUT    OF    DEATH.  405 

to-morrow—  We  had  followed  her  across 

the  room,  and  were  standing  in  a  little  group, 
talking  in  low  tones  in  the  gathering  gloom, 
when  we  were  startled  by  the  voice  of  the  sick 
man,  murmuring  words  too  indistinct  for  the 
ear  to  catch. 

"  He  is  wandering  again,"  Lady  Muriel 
whispered,  and  returned  to  the  bedside.  We 
drew  a  little  nearer  also  :  but  no,  this  had  none 
of  the  incoherence  of  delirium.  "  What  reward 
shall  I  give  unto  the  Lord"  the  tremulous  lips 
were  saying,  "for  all  the  benefits  that  He  hath 
done  unto  me  ?  I  will  receive  the  cup  of  salva- 
tion, and  call and  call—  '  but  here  the 

poor  weakened  memory  failed,  and  the  feeble 
voice  died  into  silence. 

His  wife  knelt  down  at  the  bedside,  raised 
one  of  his  arms,  and  drew  it  across  her  own, 
fondly  kissing  the.  thin  white  hand  that  lay 
so  listlessly  in  her  loving  grasp.  It  seemed 
to  me  a  good  opportunity  for  stealing  away 
without  making  her  go  through  any  form  of 
parting :  so,  nodding  to  the  Earl  and  Eric,  I 
silently  left  the  room.  Eric  followed  me  down 
the  stairs,  and  out  into  the  night. 


406          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Is  it  Life  or  Death  ? "  I  asked  him,  as 
soon  as  we  were  far  enough  from  the  house 
for  me  to  speak  in  ordinary  tones. 

"  It  is  Life  !  "  he  replied  with  eager  emphasis. 
"  The  doctors  are  quite  agreed  as  to  that.  All 
he  needs  now,  they  say,  is  rest,  and  perfect 
quiet,  and  good  nursing.  He's  quite  sure  to 
get  rest  and  quiet,  here  :  and,  as  for  the  nursing 
why,  I  think  it's  \\&\.  possible —  "  (he  tried  hard 
to  make  his  trembling  voice  assume  a  playful 
tone)  "  he  may  even  get  fairly  well  nursed,  in 
his  present  quarters  !  " 

"I'm  sure  of  it!"  I  said.  "Thank  you  so 
much  for  coming  out  to  tell  me  ! "  And,  think- 
ing he  had  now  said  all  he  had  come  to  say,  I 
held  out  my  hand  to  bid  him  good  night.  He 
grasped  it  warmly,  and  added,  turning  his  face 
away  as  he  spoke,  "  By  the  way,  there  is  one 
other  thing  I  wanted  to  say.  I  thought  you'd 

like  to  know  that that  I'm  not not  in  the 

mind  I  was  in  when  last  we  met.      It  isn't — 

that    I    can  accept  Christian  belief at    least, 

not  yet.  But  all  this  came  about  so  strangely. 
And  she  had  prayed,  you  know.  And  I  had 
prayed.  And and—  "  his  voice  broke,  and 


XXV]  LIFE    OUT   OF    DEATH.  407 

I  could  only  just  catch  the  concluding  words, 
' '  there  is  a  God  that  answers  prayer  !  I  know 
it  for  certain  now."  He  wrung  my  hand  once 
more,  and  left  me  suddenly.  Never  before  had 
I  seen  him  so  deeply  moved. 

So,  in  the  gathering  twilight,  I  paced  slowly 
homewards,  in  a  tumultuous  whirl  of  happy 
thoughts  :  my  heart  seemed  full,  and  running 
over,  with  joy  and  thankfulness  :  all  that  I  had 
so  fervently  longed  for,  and  prayed  for,  seemed 
now  to  have  come  to  pass.  And,  though  I  re- 
proached myself,  bitterly,  for  the  unworthy  sus- 
picion I  had  for  one  moment  harboured  against 
the  true-hearted  Lady  Muriel,  I  took  comfort 
in  knowing  it  had  been  but  a  passing  thought. 

Not  Bruno  himself  could  have  mounted  the 
stairs  with  so  buoyant  a  step,  as  I  felt  my  way 
up  in  the  dark,  not  pausing  to  strike  a  light 
in  the  entry,  as  I  knew  I  had  left  the  lamp 
burning  in  my  sitting-room. 

But  it  was  no  common  lamplight  into  which 
I  now  stepped,  with  a  strange,  new,  dreamy 
sensation  of  some  subtle  witchery  that  had  come 
over  the  place.  Light,  richer  and  more  golden 
than  any  lamp  could  give,  flooded  the  room, 


408          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

streaming  in  from  a  window  I  had  somehow 
never  noticed  before,  and  lighting  up  a  group  of 
three  shadowy  figures,  that  grew  momently 

more  distinct a  grave  old  man  in  royal  robes, 

leaning  back  in  an  easy  chair,  and  two  children, 
a  girl  and  a  boy,  standing  at  his  side. 

"  Have  you  the  Jewel  still,  my  child  ?  "  the 
old  man  was  saying. 

"  Oh,  yes  !  "  Sylvie  exclaimed  with  unusual 
eagerness.  "  Do  you  think  I'd  ever  lose  it  or 
forget  it  ?  "  She  undid  the  ribbon  round  her 
neck,  as  she  spoke,  and  laid  the  Jewel  in  her 
father's  hand. 

Bruno  looked  at  it  admiringly.  "  What  a 
lovely  brightness  !  "  he  said.  "  It's  just  like  a 
little  red  star  !  May  I  take  it  in  my  hand  ? " 

Sylvie  nodded  :  and  Bruno  carried  it  off  to 
the  window,  and  held  it  aloft  against  the  sky, 
whose  deepening  blue  was  already  spangled 
with  stars.  Soon  he  came  running  back  in 
some  excitement.  "Sylvie!  Look  here!"  he 
cried.  "  I  can  see  right  through  it  when  I  hold 
it  up  to  the  sky.  And  it  isn't  red  a  bit :  it's,  oh 
such  a  lovely  blue !  And  the  words  are  all 
different !  Do  look  at  it !  " 


xxv]  LIFE    OUT    OF    DEATH.  409 

Sylvie  was  quite  excited,  too,  by  this  time  ; 
and  the  two  children  eagerly  held  up  the  Jewel 
to  the  light,  and  spelled  out  the  legend  between 

them,  "  ALL    WILL    LOVE    SYLVIE." 


"  Why,  this  is  the  other  Jewel ! "  cried 
Bruno.  "  Don't  you  remember,  Sylvie  ?  The 
one  you  didrit  choose  !  " 

Sylvie  took  it  from  him,  with  a  puzzled  look, 
and  held  it,  now  up  to  the  light,  now  down. 
"It's  blue,  one  way,"  she  said  softly  to  herself, 
"  and  it's  red,  the  other  way  !  Why,  I  thought 
there  were  two  of  them — -Father  !  "  she  sud- 
denly exclaimed,  laying  the  Jewel  once  more  in 
his  hand,  "  I  do  believe  it  was  the  same  Jewel 
all  the  time  ! " 


4io          SYLVIE    AND    BRUNO    CONCLUDED. 

"  Then  you  choosed  it  from  itself"  Bruno 
thoughtfully  remarked.  "  Father,  could  Sylvie 
choose  a  thing  from  itself  ? " 

"  Yes,  my  own  one,"  the  old  man  replied 
to  Sylvie,  not  noticing  Bruno's  embarrassing 

question,  "it  was  the  same  Jewel but  you 

chose  quite  right."  And  he  fastened  the  ribbon 
round  her  neck  again. 

'*'  SYLVIE  WILL  LOVE  ALL ALL  WILL  LOVE 

SYLVIE,"  Bruno  murmured,  raising  himself  on 
tiptoe  to  kiss  the  'little  red  star.'  "  And,  when 
you  look  at  it,  it's  red  and  fierce  like  the  sun 
—and,  when  you  look  through  it,  it's  gentle 
and  blue  like  the  sky  !  " 

"  God's  own  sky,"  Sylvie  said,  dreamily. 

"God's  own  sky,"  the  little  fellow  repeated, 
as  they  stood,  lovingly  clinging  together,  and 
looking  out  into  the  night.  "  But  oh,  Sylvie, 
what  makes  the  sky  such  a  darling  blue  ?  " 

Sylvie's  sweet  lips  shaped  themselves  to 
reply,  but  her  voice  sounded  faint  and  very 
far  away.  The  vision  was  fast  slipping  from 
my  eager  gaze  :  but  it  seemed  to  me,  in  that 
last  bewildering  moment,  that  not  Sylvie  but 
an  angel  was  looking  out  through  those  trustful 


xxv] 


LIFE    OUT    OF    DEATH. 


brown  eyes,  and  that  not  Sylvie's  but  an  angel's 
voice  was  whispering 


is 


THE    END. 


GENERAL    INDEX. 

[N.B.  '  I '  refers  to  "  Sylvie  and  Bruno,"  '  II'  to   "  Sylvie 
and  Bruno  Concluded."] 

Accelerated  Velocity,  causes  of;  II.   190 

Air,  Cotton-wool  lighter  than,  how  to  obtain  ;  II.  166 

Animal-Suffering,  mystery  of ;  II.   296 

Anti-Teetotal  Card ;  II.  139 

Artistic  effect  said  to  require  Indistinctness  ;  I.  241 

Asylums,  Lunatic-,  future  use  for  ;  II.  132 

Axioms  of  Science ;  II.  330 

Badgers,  the  Three  (Poem) ;  I.  247 
Barometer,  sideways  motion  of;  I.  13 
Baron  Doppelgeist ;  I.  85 
Bath,  Portable,  for  Tourists;  I.  25 
Bazaars,  Charity-;  II.  44 
Beauty,  Pain  of  realising;  II.  337 
Bed,  reason  for  never  going  to  ;  II.  141 
Bees,  Mind  of;  II.  298 
Bessie's  Song;  II.  76 
Bible-Selections  for  Children ;  I.  xiii 

,,  „  learning  by  heart ;   I.  xiv 

Black  Light,  how  to  produce  ;  II.  341 
Boat,  motion  of,  how  to  imitate  on  land;  II.  108 
Books,  or  Minds.     Which  contain  most  Science?  I.  21 
Boots  for  Horizontal  Weather;  I.  14 


4H  GENERAL    INDEX. 

Brain,  inverted  position  of;  I.  243 
Bread-sauce  appropriate  for  Weltering  ;  I.  58 
Breaking  promises.     Why  is  it  wrong?  II.  27 
Bruno's  Song  :  I.  215 

Burden  of  Proof  misplaced  by  Crocodiles;  I.  230 
„  „  „  Ladies;  I.  235 

„  „  „  Watts,  Dr.  ;  do. 

'Care'  and  ' Don't-Care,'  history  of;  II. 

Carrying  one's  self.     Why  is  it  not  fatiguing?  I.  169 

Charity-Bazaars ;  II.  44 

,,       fallacies  as  to ;  II.  43 

„       Pseudo- ;  II.  42 
Child's  Bible  ;   I.  xiii 

,,      Sunday,  in  last  generation  ;  I.  387 

,,      view  of  Adult  Life  ;  II.   260 
Present  Life  ;  I.  330 
Choral  Services,  effect  of;  I.   273.  II.  xix 
Chorister's  life,  dangers  of;  I.  274.   II.  xix 
Church-going,  true  principle  of:    I.  272 
Competition  for  Scholars  ;  II.   187 
Competitive  Examination  ;   II.   184 
Conceited  Critic  always  depreciates;  I.  237 
Content,  opportunity  for  cultivating;  I.  152 
'Convenient'   and   'Inconvenient,'  difference  in  meaning; 

I.  140 
Conversation    at     Dinner-parties,    how    to    promote :   (see 

"  Dinner-parties  ") 

Cotton-wool  lighter  than  air,  how  to  obtain  ;  II.  166 
Critic,  conceited,  always  depreciates  :  I.  237 

,,       how  to  gain  character  of;  I.    238 
Crocodiles,  Logic  of;  I.  230 
Croquet.     Why  is  it  demoralising?  II.  135 


GENERAL    INDEX.  415 

Darwinism  reversed ;  I.  64 

Day,  length  and  shortness  of,  compared  ;   I.  159 

„     true  length  of;  I.  159 
Death,  certainty  of,  effect  of  realising  ;  I.  xix 
Debts,  how  to  avoid  Payment  of;   I.  131 
Deserts,  use  for;  II.  158 

Dichotomy,  Political,  in  common  life;  II.  198,  205,  207 
Dinner-parties,  how  to  promote  Conversation  at  :  — 

Moving-Guests;   II.  145 
„      Pictures  ;  II.  143 

Revolving-Humorist;  II.  145 

Wild-Creatures ;  II.  144 
Dog-King,  the,  ('Nero');  I-  i?5-  II.  58 
Dog,  Man's  advantage  over  ;  II.  293 

„     reasoning  power  of;  II.  294 
'  Doing  good,'  ambiguity  of  phrase  ;  II.  43 
Doppelgeist,  Baron  ;   I.  85 
Dramatization  of  Life  ;  I.  333 
Dreaminess,  certain  cure  for;  I.  136 
Drunkenness,  how  to  prevent ;  II.  71 

Eggs,  how  to  purchase  ;   II.  196 
Electricity,  influence  of,  on  Literature  ;  I.  64 
Enjoyment  of  Life ;  I.  335 

,,  Novel-reading;  I.  336 

Eternity,  contemplation  of.     Why  is  it  wearisome  ?  II.  258 
Events  in  reverse  order  ;  I.  350 
Examination,  Competitive  ;  II.   184 
Experimental  Honeymoons  ;  II.  136 
Eye,  images  inverted  in  the  ;  I.  242 

Fairies,  captured,  how  to  treat ;    II.  5 

„       character  of,  how  to  improve  ;   I.  190 


416  GENERAL    INDEX. 

Fairies,  existence  of,  possible  ;  II.  300 

,,       presence  of,  how  to  recognise  ;   I.  191.   II.  264 

,,       moral  responsibility  of;  II.  301 
Falling  Houses,  Life  in;  I.  100 
Final  Causes,  problem  in  ;  I.  297 
Fires  in  Theatres,  how  to  prevent ;  II.  165 
Fortunatus'  Purse,  how  to  make  ;  II.  100 
Free- Will  and  Nerve-Force;  I.  390 
Frog,  young,  how  to  amuse  ;  I.  364 
Future  Life.  What  interests  will  survive  in  it  ?  II.  256 

Gardener's  Song : — 

Albatross;  I.  164.  Argument;  11.319.  Banker's 
Clerk;  I.  90.  Bar  of  Mottled  Soap  ;  II.  319.  Bear 
without  a  head;  I.  116.  Buffalo;  I.  78.  Coach- 
and-Four  ;  I.  116.  Double  Rule  of  Three;  I.  168. 
Elephant  ;  I.  65;  II.  334.  Garden-Door;  I.  168. 
Hippopotamus  ;  I.  90.  Kangaroo  ;  I.  106.  Letter 
from  his  Wife;  I.  65.  Middle  of  Next  Week; 
I.  83.  Penny-Postage-Stamp;  I.  164.  Rattlesnake; 
I.  83.  Sister's  Husband's  Niece  ;  I.  78.  Vege- 
table-Pill ;  I.  1 06 

Ghosts,  treatment  of,  by  Shakespeare  ;  I.  60 

,,  „  in  Railway-Literature  ;  I.  58 

„      Weltering,  Bread-sauce  appropriate  for  ;  I.  58 

Girls'  Shakespeare  ;  I.  xv 

Government  with  many  Kings  and  one  Subject ;  II.  172 

Graduated  races  of  Man  ;  I.  299 

Guests,  Moving-;  II.  145 

Happiness,  excessive,  how  to  moderate  ;  I.  159 
Heaven  inconceivable  to  those  on  Earth  ;   II.  260 
Honesty,  Dr.  Watts'  argument  for;  I.  235 


GENERAL    INDEX.  4*7 

Honeymoons,  Experimental ;  II.  136 
Horizontal  Weather,  Boots  for;  I.  14 
Horses,  Runaway,  how  to  control ;  II.  IQ&-- 
Hot  Ink,  use  of;  II.   357 
Houses,  Falling,  Life  in  ;  I.  100 
Humorist,  Revolving  ;  II.  145 
Hunting,  Morality  of;  I.  xx,  318;  II.  xviii 
Hymns  appealing  to  Selfishness  ;  I.  276 

'Idle  Mouths';  II.  37 
'  Imponderal ' ;  II.  166 
'  Inconvenient '  and  'Convenient,'  difference  in  meaning  of; 

I.  140 

Indistinctness  said  to  be  necessary  for  Artistic  effect ;  I.  241 
Ink,  Hot,  use  of;  II.  357 
Instinct  and  Reason  ;  II.  295 
Inversion  of  Brain  ;  I.  243 

,,  images  on  Retina  ;  I.  242 

Jam-tasting;  II.  150 

Jesting  in  Letter- writing,  how  to  indicate  ;  II.  117 

'King  Fisher'  Song;  II.  14 

Knocking-down,  some  persons  not  liable  to ;  II.  54 

Ladies,  Logic  of;  I.  235 

Least  Common  Multiple,  rule  of,  applied  to  Literature  ;  I.  22 
Letter-writing,  how  to  indicate  Jesting  in  ;  II.  117 
„  „  „        Shyness  in;  II.  115 

Life,  adult,  Child's  view  of;  II.  260 
,,     Dramatization  of;  I.  133 

„     Future,  What  interests  will  survive  in  it  ?  II.  256 

E    E 


418  GENERAL    INDEX. 

Life,  how  to  enjoy  ;  I.  335 

„     in  Falling  Houses;  I.  100 

,,      „  reverse  order;  I.  350 

„     Present,  Child's  view  of;  I.  330 
Light,  Black,  how  to  produce  ;  II.  341 
Literature  as  influenced  by  Electricity  ;  I.  64 
„  ,,  Steam ;  I.  64 

„        for  Railway  ;  I.  58 

,,        treated  by  rule  of  Least  Common  Multiple  ;  I.  22 
"Little  Birds'  (Poem);  II.  364,  371,  377 
'Little  Man'  (Poem);  II.  265 

,,  privilege  of  being  ;  I.  299 

Liturgy,  Choral,  effect  of;  I.  273 
Logic  of  Crocodiles ;  I.  230 

„     of  Ladies;  I.  235 

,,      of  Dr.  Watts  ;  do. 

„      requisites  for  complete  Argument  in  ;  I.  259 
Loving  or  being  loved.     Which  is  best  ?     1-77 
Lunatic-Asylums,  future  use  for;  II.  132 
Lunatics  out-numbering  the  Sane,  result  of;  II.  133 

Man,  advantages  of,  over  the  Dog  ;  II.  293 

,,    graduated  races  of;  I.  299 

,,    Little,  privilege  of  being  ;  1.299 
Maps,  best  size  for;  II.  169 
'  Matilda  Jane  '  (Poem) ;  II.  76 
'  Megaloscope '  ;  II.  334 

Minds,  or  Books.     Which  contain  most  Science  ?  I.  2 1 
Money,  effect  of  increasing  value  of;  I.  312 

„       playing  for,  a  moral  act;  II.  135 
Morality  of  Sport ;  I.  xx,  318.     II.     xviii. 
Moral  Philosophy,  teachers  of.    Which  are  most  esteemed  ? 

II.   181 


GENERAL    INDEX.  419, 

Moving-Guests;  II.  145 

,,      Pictures;  II.  143 
Music,  how  to  get  largest  amount  of  in  given  time  ;  I.  338. 

„      Why  is  it  sometimes  not  pleasing?  II.  156 

'Nero  '  the  Dog-King  ;  I.  175.     II.  58 
Nerve-Force  and  Free-Will ;  I.  390 
Nerves,  slow  action  of;  I.  158 
Novel-reading,  how  to  enjoy ;  I.  336 

'  Obstruction,'  Political,  in  common  life ;  II.   203 
'Onus  probandi '  misplaced  by  Crocodiles  ;  I.  230 

Ladies ;  I.  235 

,,  „  Dr.  Watts ;  do. 

'  Opposition,'  Political,  in  common  life  ;  II.  200 

Pain,  how  to  minimise  ;  1-337 
Paley's  definition  of  Virtue  ;  I.  273 
Parentheses  in  Conversation,  how  to  indicate;  I.  251 
Passages,  Selected,  for  learning  by  heart  ;  I.  xv 
Payment  of  Debts,  how  to  avoid  ;  I.  1 3 1 
'Peter  and  Paul '  (Poem) ;  I.  143 

Philosophy,  Moral.     What  kind  is  most  esteemed?  II.  181 
Phlizz,  a  visionary  flower  ;  I.  282 
fruit ;  I.  75 

,,  „         nurse-maid ;  I.  283 

Pictures,  how  to  criticize  ;  I.  238 

„         Moving  ;  II.  143 
' Pig  Tale '  (Poem) ;  I.  138;  II.  366,  372 
Planets,  small;  II.  170 
Playing  for  money,  a  moral  act;  II.  135 
Pleasure,  how  to  maximise  ;  1-335 


420  GENERAL    INDEX 

Plunge-Bath,  portable,  for  Tourists;  I.  25 
Poems,  first  lines  of : — 

'  He  stept  so  lightly  to  the  land  ' ;  I.  291 
'  He  thought  he  saw  an  Albatross ' ;  I.  164 
.,  „        an  Argument ';  II.  319 

„  „        a  Banker's  Clerk ' ;  1.90 

a  Buffalo';  I.  78 
„  „        a  Coach-and-Four '  ;  I.  116 

an  Elephant ' ;  I.  65  ;  II.  334 
,,  ,,        a  Garden-Door ';  I.  168 

„  ,,         a  Kangaroo ' ;  I.   106 

,,  ,,        a  Rattlesnake ' ;  I.  83 

'  In  Stature  the  Manlet  was  dwarfish  ';  II.  265 
'  King  Fisher  courted  Lady  Bird  ' ;  II.  14 
'  Little  Birds  are  &c. ';  II.  364,  371,  377 
'  Matilda  Jane,  you  never  look ' ;  II.  76 
'  One  thousand  pounds  per  annuum  ' ;  II.  194 
'  Peter  is  poor,  said  noble  Paul' ;  I.  143 
'  Rise,  oh  rise  !   The  daylight  dies ' ;  I.  215 
'  Say,    what   is   the   spell,  when   her   fledgelings   are 

cheeping';  II.  305 

'  There  be  three  Badgers  on  a  mossy  stone ' ;  I.  247 
'  There  was  a  Pig,  that  sat  alone  ' ;  I.  138;  II.  366,  372 
Political  Dichotomy  in  common  life;  II.  198,  205,  207   I 

.,       '  Opposition  '  in  common  life  ;  II.  200 
Poor  people,  method  for  enriching;  I.  312 
Poverty,  blessings  of;  I.  152 
Prayer  for  temporal  blessings,  efficacy  of;  I.  391 
Preachers  appealing  to  Selfishness;  I.  276 
„        exceptional  privileges  of;  I.  277 
Promises.     When  are  they  binding  ?   11.26 

„  breaking  of.     Why  is  it  wrong  ?  II.  27 

Proof,  Burden  of;  (see  '  Burden  of  Proof) 


GENERAL    INDEX.  421 

Property,  inherited,  duties  of  owner  of ;  II.  39 

Pseudo-Charity ;  II.  43 

Purse  of  Fortunatus,  how  to  make  ;  II.  100 

Questions  in  Conversation,  how  to  indicate;  I.  251 

Rail  way- Literature  ;  I.  58 

„        Scenes,  Dramatization  of;  I.  333 
Rain,  Horizontal,  Boots  for  ;  I.  14 
Reason  and  Instinct ;  II.  295 

„        power  of,  in  Dog  ;  II.  294 
Retina,  images  inverted  on  ;  I.  242 
Reversed  order  of  Events  ;  I.   350 
Revolving-Humorist ;  II.  145 
Runaway  Horses,  how  to  control;  II.  108 

Scenery  enjoyed  most  by  Little  Men ;  I.  299 

Scholars,  Competition  for;  II.   187 

Science,  Axioms  of;  II.  330 

„        Do  Books,  or  Minds,  contain  most?  I.  21 

Selections  from  Bible,  for  Children ;  I.  xiii 

„  ,,        for  learning  by  heart  ;  I.  xiv 

,,         Prose  and  Verse,     „  ,,      ;  I.  xv 

,,         from  Shakespeare,  for  Girls  ;  I.  xv 

Selfishness  appealed  to  in  Hymns  ;  I.  276 

„  „  religious  teaching ;  do. 

,,  ,,  Sermons ;  do. 

Sermons  appealing  to  Selfishness ;  do. 
„      faults  of;  I.  277  ;  II.  xix 

Services,  Choral,  effect  of;  I.  273 

Shakespeare,  passages  of,  discussed  : — 
'All  the  world's  a  stage ' ;  I.  335 
'Aye,  every  inrh  a  king  ! ' ;  I.  373 


422  GENERAL  INDEX. 

Shakespeare,  passages  of,  discussed  : — 

'  Is  this  a  dagger  that  I  see  before  me  ? ' ;  I.  371 
'  Rest,  rest,  perturbed  Spirit ! '  ;    I.  60 
'  To  be,  or  not  to  be ' ;  I.  370 
„  Selections  from,  for  Girls ;  I.  xv 

,,  treatment  of  Ghosts  by ;  I.  60 

Shyness,  how  to  indicate  in  Letter-writing;  II.  115 
'Sillygism,'  requisites  for;  I.  259 
Sinfulness,  amount  of,  in  World;  II.  125 

„         of  an  act  differs  with  environment;  II.  123 
Sobriety,  extreme,  inconvenience  of;  I.   140 
Spencer,  Herbert,  difficulties  in  ;  I.  258 
Spherical,  advantage  of  being;  II.  190. 
Sport,  Morality  of;  I.  xx,  318.   II.  xviii. 
Steam,  influence  of,  on  Literature ;  I.  64 
Sufferings  of  Animals,  mystery  of;  II.  296 
Sunday,  as  spent  by  children  of  last  generation ;  I.  387- 

„         observance  of;  I.  385 
Sylvie  and  Bruno's  Song ;  II.  305 

Teetotal-Card ;  II.  139 

Theatres,  Fires  in,  how  to  prevent;  II.  165 

'Three  Badgers'  (Poem);  I.  247 

Time,  how  to  put  back;  I.  314,  347 

„          reverse;  I.  350 
,,      storage  of;  II.  105 
'Tottles'  (Poem);  II.  194,  201,  209,  248 
Tourists'  Portable  Bath  ;  I.  25 
Trains  running  without  engines;  II.   106 

Velocity,  Accelerated,  causes  of;  II.  190 
Virtue,  Paley's  definition  of;  I.  274 
Voyages  on  Land  ;  II.  109 


GENERAL    INDEX.  423 

Walking-sticks  that  walk  alone,  how  to  obtain  ;  II.  166 
Water,  people  lighter  than,  how  to  obtain ;  II.  165 
Watts,  Dr.,  Argument  for  Honesty;  I.  235 

„          Logic  of;  do. 
Weather,  Horizontal,  Boots  for;  I.  14 
Weight,  force  of,  how  to  exhaust ;  II.  343 

,,        relative,  conceivable  non-existence  of;  I.  too 
Weltering,  Bread-sauce  appropriate  for;  I.  58 
'  What  Tottles  meant'  (Poem) ;  II.  194,  201,  209,  248 
Wild-Creatures;  II.  144 
~\Vilderness,  use  for;  II.  158 
-  Wilful  waste,  &c.,'  lesson  to  be  learnt  from ;  II.  69 


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CAUTIONS  TO  READERS. 

On  August  1st,  1881,  a  story  appeared  in  Aunl  Jiidy1*  Magazine 
No.  184,  entitled  "The  Land  of  Idleness,  by  LEWIS  CARROLL." 
This  story  \vas  really  written  by  a  lady,  FRAULEIN  IDA  LACKOWITZ. 
Acting  on  her  behalf,  Mr.  CARROLL  forwarded  it  to  the  Editor  :  and 
this  led  to  the  mistake  of  naming  him  as  its  author. 

In  October,  1887,  the  writer  of  an  article  on  "  Literature  for  the  Little 
Ones,"  in  The  Nineteenth  Century,  stated  that  in  1864,  "TOM  HOOD 
was  delighting  the  world  with  such  works  as  from  Nowhere  to  the 
North  Pole.  Between  TOM  HOOD  and  Mr.  LEWIS  CARROLL  there  is 
more  than  a  suspicion  of  resemblance  in  some  particulars.  Alice's 
Adventures  in  Wonderland  narrowly  escapes  challenging  a  comparison 
with  From  Nowhere  to  the  North  Pole.  The  idea  of  both  is  so  similar 
that  Mr.  CARROLL  can  hardly  have  been  surprised  if  some  people  have 
believed  he  was  inspired  by  HOOD."  The  date  1864  is  a  mistake.  From 
Nowhere  to  the  North  Pole  was  first  published  in  1874,  nine  years  after 
the  publication  of  Alice's  Adventures  in  Wonderland. 


ADVICE  TO  WRITERS. 

Buy  "THEWONDERLANDCASE  FOR  POSTAGE-STAMPS," 
invented  by  LEWIS  CARROLL,  Oct.  29,  1888,  size  4  inches  by  3, 
containing  12  separate  pockets  for  stamps  of  different  values,  2  Coloured 
Pictorial  Surprises  taken  from  Alice  in  Wonderland,  and  8  or  9  Wise 
Words  about  Letter- Writing.  It  is  published  by  Messrs.  EMBERLIN  & 
SON,  4  Magdalen  Street,  Oxford.  Price  is. 

N.  B.  If  ordered  by  Post,  an  additional  payment  will  be  required,  to 
cover  cost  of  postage,  as  follows  : — • 

One  copy i^d. 

Two  or  three  do. zd. 

Four  do i\d. 

Five  to  fourteen  do 3</. 

Each  subsequent  fourteen  or  fraction  thereof     .    .    .  I  \d. 

[TURN  OVER. 


[SPECIMEN     PAGE] 

ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  UNDER  GROUND.     By  Lewis  Carroll. 
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•Being  a  Facsimile  of  the  Original  MS.  Book,  afterwards  developed  into  "Alice's 

-Adventures   in   Wonderland."      With   Thirtyseven  Illustrations   by  the    Author. 

Crown  8vo,  4s. 


MACMILLAN   &   CO.,    LONDON. 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY,  LOS  ANGELES 

COLLEGE  LIBRARY 

This  book  is  due  on  the  last  date  stamped  below. 


Book  Slip-35m-7,'63(D8634s4)4280 


UCLA-College  Library 

PR4611S984 


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