The thirde & last part of conny-catching, with the new devised knauish art of fooletaking; the like cosenages and villenies neuer before discouered. A dispvtation betweene a hee conny-catcher and a shee conny-catcher. Edited by G.B. Harrison

ROBERT GREENE

CONNY-CATCHIMG LAST PART
1592 : A DISPVTATI2N BETWEENi;
AHEE CONNY-GATGHERANDA

SHEE CONNY-CATGHER.'^l592

For use in

the Library

ONLY

SEEN BY

PRESBWATiON

SERVICES

DATE../^.-..

tl ^'^T.,yt/.iiiiaiMX

ROBERT GREENE

THE THIRDE AND LAST PART
OF CONNY-CAFCHING 1591

A DISPVTATION BETWEENE A
HEE CONNY-CATCHER AND
ASHEE CONNY-CATCHER 1592

III

BODLEY HEAD QL'ARTOS

^^(ote

THE ORIGINAL of this
text is in the Bodleian Library
(Malone 575). A very few
misprints have been corrected
in the text : these are noted
on page ^"j.

G. B. H.

sv--^

^M Tsw law "WW Tcw oj i>r tsbt miir wi>r tow tbbt

^.

^^J^

THE BODLEV HEAD QUARTOS
EDITED BY G. B. HARRISON

ROBERT GREENE, M.A.

THE THIRDE .V LAST
Part of Conny-catching.
With tlie new devised knauish
Art of Foole-taking. The like
Cosenages and Villenies neuer be-
fore discouered.

A DISPVTATION BE-

tweene a Hee Conny-catcher

and a Shee Conny-catcher.

Published by John Lane The liodle)- Head Ltd
Vigo Street, London, W,i

A js. ib jb.

OLVa. sum. jam. MJb. jaa sum. san. roi^t

^

H
k

First printed in 1923

"Printed in (Jreat Britain

at the

CU RIVEN -PRESS

Tlaistoiv, E. 1 3

A n t:.

TH I RD E

and laftPartof Conny-

catching.

WITH THE NEW DEVISED

knauifli ArcorFoolc-rakin<2.

The like C.^fai.t^cs and ytllenies neucr before
dijcouered .

By R. G.

Imprinted at London by Thomas Scarlet for

Cut'xrdEiKbicjndarctobcloldcitlnj (hopptindie
PouitiK, b; S. Mudicdi Church, i > 9 j.

r?

^n^^m iinu^yT ^' /V \/^z^/^7^f ^

«^i0 auuu ISO) aai -a oi ism m ta vita mm xsm vi^
/n BL JSA jaiB. nm. sa n. la so. jubl jsbl jaio. stia. jubl iS i^

»i* TO ALL
SVCH AS HAVE

receiued either pleasure or profit

by the two former published bookes of this

Argument, and to all beside, that desire

to know the wonderful slie de-

uises of this kellish crcjo of

Cony-catchers.

In the time of king Henrie the fourth, as our
English Chronyclers haue kept in reme'mbrance,
liued diuerse sturdie and loose companions, in
sundrie places about the Citie of London, v:ho gaue
themselues to no good course oj life, but because the
time "jjas somewhat troublesome, iz^atched diligently,
when by the least occasion of mutinie offered, they
might praie vpon the goods of honest Citizens, and so
by their spoile inrich themselues. At that time likewise
liued a worthie Gentleman, whose many very famous
deedes (whereof I am sorie I may here make no re-
hearsal, because neither time nor occasion will permitte
me) renowne his name to all ensuing posterities: he,
being called sir Richard Whittington, the founder of
If^ hittington Colledge in London, and one that bare

6 THE EPISTLE

the office of Lord Maior of this Citie three seuerall
times. This worthie man wel noting the dangerous
disposition of that idle kinde of people^ tooke such good
and discreete order (after hee had sent diuers of them,
to serue in the kings warres^ and they loath to doe so
'well returned to their former vomite) that in no place
of or about London they might haue lodgings or enter-
tainment., except they applied themselues to such honest
trades and exercises., as might witnesse their maintain-
ing was by true and honest meanes. If any to the
contrarie were founde., they were in iustice so sharply
proceeded against., as the most hurtfull and dangerous
enemies to the commonwealth.

In this quiet and most blissefull time of peace., when
all men {in course of life) should shew themselues most
thankfull for so great a benefit., this fa^nous citie is
pestered voith the like., or rather worse kinde of people.,
that beare outward shew of ciuill., honest., and gentle-
manlike disposition., but in very deed their behauiour
is most infamous to be spoken of. And as now by their
close villanies they cheate., cosen., prig., lift., nippe., and
such like tricks now vsed in their Conie-catching
Trade., to the hurt and vndoing of many an honest
Citizen^ and other : So if God should in iustice be
angrie with vs., as our wickednesse hath well deserued.,
and {as the Lorde forfend) our peace should be
molested as in former time., euen as they did., so will
these be the first in seeking domesticall spoile and
ruine : yea so they may haue it, it skilles not how they

THE EPISTLE 7

come hy it. God raise such another as was worthie
Whittington, that in time may bridle the headstrong
course of this hellish creiv^ and force them Hue as
hecommeth honest Subiects^ or els to abide the reward
due to their loosenesse.

By reading this little treatise ensuing^ you shall see

to what marueylous subtill pollicies these deceiuers

haue atteyned^ and how daylie they practise strange

drijtesjor their purpose. I say no more., but ij all these

forewarnings may be regarded^ to the benejite oj the

well minded^ and iust controll oj these carelesse

wretches^ it is all I desire^ and no more

then I hope to see.

Yours in all he may

R. G.

tfta ta at iu m ta m ta ta ta ta mTaxamamisinmtn'Ci'm
mia5iijo.ai!ajaja.ni.jnjaiti m sa saiaiO. sam ta n la sa m

The third and last part of Conny-

CATCHING WITH THE NEW

deuised knauish Arte oj Foole-
takin^.

o

BEING by chance inuited to supper, where
were present diuers, both of worship and
good accompt, as occasion serued for enter-
course of talke, the present trecheries and wicked
deuises of the world was called in question.
Amongest other most hatefull and well worthy
reprehension, the woondrous villanies of loose and
lewd persons, that beare the shape of men, yet are
monsters in condition, was specially remembred,
and not only they, but their complices, their con-
federates, their base natured women and close
compacters were noted: Namely, such as tearme
themselues Conny-catchers, Crosse-biters with
their appertayning names to their seuerall coosen-
ing qualities, as alreadie is made knowne to the
worlde, by two seuerall imprinted books, by
meanes whereof, the present kind of conference
was occasioned. Quoth a Gentleman sitting at the
Table, whose deepe step into age deciphered his
experience, and whose grauitie in speeche reported
his discretion, quoth he, by the two published
bookes of Conny-catching: I haue seene diuers

10 THE THIRD PART OF CONXT-CJTCHING

things wherof I was before ignorant, notwith-
standing, had I beene acquainted with the author:
I could haue Q;iuen him such notes of notorious
matters that way intenting, as in neither of the
pamphlets are the like set downe. Beside, they are
so necessarie to be knowne, as they will both fore-
arme anie man against such trecherous vipers, and
forewarne the simpler sort from conuersing with
them. The Gentleman being knowne to be within
commission of the peace, and that what hee spake
of either came to him by examinations, or by
riding in the circuits as other like officers do: was
intreated by one man aboue the rest (as his leisure
serued him) to acquaint him with those notes, and
hee woulde so bring it to passe, as the writer of the
other two bookes, should haue the sight of them,
and if their quantitie would serue, that hee should
publishe them as a third, and more necessarie part
then the former were. The Gentleman replied, all
suche notes as I speake, are not of mine owne
knowledge, yet from suche men haue I receiued
them., as I dare assure their truth: and but that by
naming men wronged by such mates, more dis-
pleasure would ensue then were expedient, I
coulde set downe both time, place and parties.
But the certaintie shall suffice without anie such
offence. As for such as shall see their iniuries
discouered, and (byting the lip) say to themselues,
thus was I made a Conny: their names being

THE THIRD PJR T OF COX\} '-CATCHING 1 1

shadowed, they haue no cause of anger, in that the
example of their honest simplicitie beguiled, may
shield a number more endangered from tasting the
like. And seeing you haue promised to make them
knowne to the author of the former two Bookes,
vou shall the sooner obtaine your request: assuring
him thus muche vpon my credite and honestie,
that no one vntrueth is in the notes, but euerie one
credible, and to be iustified if neede serue. \Vithin
a fortnight or thereabout afterward, the Gentle-
man performed his promise, in seuerall papers sent
the notes, which heere are in our booke compiled
together: when thou hast read, say, if euer thou
heardest more notable villanies discouered. And
if thou or thy friends receiue anie good by them,
as it cannot be but they will make a number more
carefull of themselues : thanke the honest Gentle-
man for his notes, and the writer that published
both the other and these, for generall example.

A -pleasant tale howe an honest substantiall Citizen
was made a Connie^ and simply entertained a
knaue that carried awaie hys goods very
politickely.

WHAT lawes are vsed among this hellish
crew, what words and termes they giue
themselues and their copesmates, are at large set

1 2 THE THIRD PART OF CONNT-CJTCHING

downe in the former two bookes: let it suffise yee
then in this, to read the simple true discourses of
suche as haue by extraordinarie cunning and
trecherie beene deceiued, and remembring their
subtle meanes there, and slie practises here, be pre-
pared against the reaches of any such companions.

Not long since, a crewe of Conny-catchers
meeting togither, and in conference laying downe
such courses as they seuerally should take, to
shunne suspect, and returne a common benefit
among them: the Carders receiued their charge,
the Dicers theirs, the hangers about the court
theirs, the followers of Sermons theirs, and so the
rest to their offices. But one of them especiallie,
who at their woonted meetinges, when reporte was
made howe euerie purchase was gotten, and by
what pollicie eache one preuailed: this fellowe in
a kinde of priding scorne, would vsuallie saye.

In faith Maisters, these things are pretily done,
common sleights, expressing no deep reach of wit,
and I wonder men are so simple to be so beguiled.
I would fain see some rare artificiall feat indeed,
that som admiration and fame might ensue the
doing thereof: I promise ye, I disdaine these base
and pettie paltries, and may my fortune iumpe
with my resolution, ye shal heare my boies with in
a day or two, that I will accomplish a rare strata-
geme indeed, of more value then forty of yours,
and when it is done shall cary some credit with it.

THE THIRD PJR T OF CONNr-CJTCHIXG 1 3

They wondring at his wordes desired to see the
successe of them, and so dispersing themselues as
they were accustomed, left this frollicke fellow
pondering on his affaires. A Cittizens house in
London, which he had diligently eied and aimed at
for a fortnights space, was the place wherein he
must performe this exploit, and hauing learned one
of the seruant maids name of the house, as also
where shee was borne and her kindred: Vpon a
Sonday in the afternone, when it was her turne to
attend on her maister and mJstres to the garden in
Finsbury fields, to regard the children while they
sported about, this craftie mate hauing dulie
watched their comming foorth, and seeing that
they intended to goe downe S. Laurence lane,
stepped before them, euer casting an eie back,
least they should turn some contrarie way. But
their following still fitting his owne desire, neere
vnto the Conduit in Alderman-bury, hee crossed
the waye and came vnto the maid, and kissing her
said: Cosen Margaret, I am very glad to see you
well, my vnckle your father, and all your friends
in the Countrey are in good health God be praised.
The Maid hearing herselfe named, and not know-
ing the man, modestly blushed, which hee per-
ceiuing, helde way on with her amongst her
fellowe Apprentises, and thus began a gaine. I see
Cosen you knowe mee not, and I doe not greatlie
blame you, it is so long since you came forth of the

1 4 THE THIRD PAR T OF CONNT-CJTCHING

Countrey : but I am such a ones sonne, naming her

Vncle right, and his sonnes name, which shee very

well remembred, but had not scene him in eleuen

yeares. Then taking foorth a bowed groat, and an

olde pennie bowed, hee gaue it her as being sent

from her Vncle and Aunt, whome hee tearmed to

bee his Father and Mother: Withall (quoth hee)

I haue a Gammon of bacon and a Cheese from my

Vncle your Father, which are sent to your Maister

and Mistresse, which I receiued of the Carrier,

because my Vncle enioynde mee to deliuer them,

when I must intreat your mistres, that at Whit-

sontide next shee will giue you leaue to come

downe into the Countrey. The Maide thinking

simplie all hee sayd was true, and as they so farre

from their parents, are not onely glad to heare of

their welfare, but also reioyce to see any of their

kindred: so this poore Maid, well knowing her

Vncle had a sonne so named as hee called himselfe,

and thinking from a boy, (as he was at her leauing

the Countrey) hee was now growen such a proper

handsome young man, was not a little ioyfull to

see him.: beside, shee seemed proud that her

kinsman was so neat a youth, and so shee helde

on questioning with him about her friendes: hee

soothing each matter so cuningly, as the maide

was confidently perswaded of him. In this time,

one of the children stepped to her mother and

sayd, Our marget (mother) hath a fine coosen

THE THIRD PJR T OF CONNY'-CJTCHING 1 5

come out of the Countr)-, and he hath a Cheese for
my Father and you: whereon shee looking backe,
said : maid, is that your kinsman ? Yea forsooth
mistres, quoth shee, my Vncles son, whome I left
a litle one when I came forth of the countrey.

The wily Treacher, beeing maister of his trade,
woulde not let slippe this opportunitie, but cour-
teouslie stepping to the Mistresse, (who louing
her maid well, because indeed shee had beene a
very good seruant, and from her first comming
to London had dwelt with her, tould her husband
thereof) coyned such a, smooth tale vnto them both,
fronting it with the Gammon of Bacon and the
Cheese sent from their maides Father, and hoping
they would giue her leaue at Whitsontide to visite
the countrey, as they with verie kinde wordes
entertained him, inuiting him the next night to
supper, when he promised to bring with him the
Gammon of bacon and the cheese. Then framing
an excuse of certaine busines in the town, for that
time hee tooke his leaue of the Maister and
Mistresse, and his newe Cosen Magaret, who
gaue manie a looke after him (poore wench) as
hee went, ioying in her thoughts to haue such a
kinseman.

On the morrow hee prepared a good Gammon
of bacon, which he closed vp in a soiled linnen
cloath, and sewed an old card vpon it, whereon
he wrote a superscription vnto the Maister of the

1 6 THE THIRD PJR T OF CONNT-CJTCHING

Maide, and at what signe it was to be deliuered,
and afterward scraped some of the letters halfe out,
that it might seeme they had bene rubd out in the
carriage. A good Cheese hee prepared Hkewise,
with inscription accordingly on it, that it could not
bee discerned, but that some vnskilfull writer in
the Country had done it, both by the grosse pro-
portio of the letters, as also the bad Ortographie
which amongst plaine husband-men is verie com-
mon, in that they haue no better instruction. So
hiring a Porter to carrie them betweene fiue and
sixe in the euening hee comes to the Cittizens
house, and entring the shop, receiues them of the
Porter, whome the honest meaning Cittizen
woulde haue paied for his paines, but this his
maids new-found Cosen saide hee was satisfied
alreadie, and so straining courtesie would not
permit him : well, vp are carried the Bacon and the
Cheese, where God knowes, Margaret was not a
little busie, to haue all things fine and neat against
her Cosens comming vp, her mistresse likewise,
(as one well affecting her seruaunt) had prouided
verie good cheere, set all her plate on the Cub-
boorde for shewe, and beautified the house with
Cusheons, Carpets, stools and other deuises of
needle worke, as at such times diuers will doo, to
haue the better report made of their credite
amongst their seruants friends in the Countrey,
albeit at this time (God wot) it turned to their

THE THIR D PJR T OF CONNT-CJTCHING 1 7

owne after-sorrowing. The maister of the house,
to delay the time while Supper was readie, hee
likewise shewes this dissembler his shop, who
seeing thinges fadge so pat to his purpose, could
question of this sort, and that wel enough I
warrant you, to discerne the best from the worst
and their appointed places, purposing a further
reach then the honest Cittizen dreamed of: and to
bee plaine with ye, such was this occupiers trade,
as though I may not name it, yet thus much I dare
vtter, that the worst thing he could carry away,
was worth about 20 nobles, because hee dealt
altogeather in whole and great sale, which made
this companion forge this kindred and acquain-
taunce, for an hundred pound or twaine was the
very least hee aimed at. At length the mistresse
sendes worde supper is on the Table, where vpon
vppe hee conducts his guest, and after diuers
welcomes, as also thankes for the Cheese and
Bacon : To the Table they sit, where let it suffice,
hee wanted no ordinarie good fare, wine and other
knackes, beside much talke of the Countrey, how
much his friendes were beholding for his Cosen
Margaret, to whome by her mistresse leaue hee
dranke twise or thrise, and shee poore soule dooing
the like againe to him with remembrance of her
Father and other kindred, which he still smoothed
ver)' cunningly. Countenance of talke made them
careles ot the time, which slipped from them

B

1 8 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

faster then they were aware of, nor did the
deceiuer hasten his departing, because he expected
what indeed followed, which was, that being past
tenne of the clocke, and hee feigning his lodging
to be at Saint Gyles in the field, was intreated both
by the good man and his wife, to take a bed there
for that night, for fashion sake (though verie glad
of this offer) hee said he would not trouble them,
but giuing the many thanks, would to his lodging
though it were further. But woonderfull it was
to see howe earnest the honest Citizen and his wife
laboured to perswade him, that was more willing
to stay then they could bee to bidde him, and
what dissembled willingnesse of departure hee
vsed on the other side, to couer the secret villanie
intended. Well, at the length, with much ado, he
is contented to stay, when Margaret and her mis-
tresse presently stirred to make ready his bed,
which the more to the honest mans hard hap, but
all the better for this artificiall Conny-catcher, was
in the same roume where they supped, being
commonly called their hall, and there indeede
stoode a verie faire bed, as in such sightly roumes
it may easily bee thought. Citizens vse not to haue
anie thing meane or simple. The mistresse, least
her guest shoulde imagine she disturbed him,
suffered all the plate to stand still on the cupbord:
and when she perceiued his bed was warmed, and
euery thing els according to her mind, she and her

THE THIRD PAR T OF CONNT-CJTCHING 1 9

husband bidding him good night: tooke them-
selues to their chamber, which was on the same
floore, but inward, hauing another chamber be-
tweene them and the hall, where the maides and
children had their lodging. So desiring him to call
for anything hee wanted, and charging Margaret
to looke it should be so, to bed are they gone:
when the Apprentises hauing brought vp the
keyes of the street dore, and left them in their
maisters chamber as they were woont to do, after
they had said praiers, their euening exercise, 'to
bed go they likewise, which was in a Garret back-
ward ouer their maisters chamber. None are nowe
vp but poore Margaret and her counterfeit coosen,
whom she loth to offend with long talke, because it
waxed late : after some fewe more speeches, about
their parentes and friendes in the countrey, she
seeing him laid in bed, and all such thinges by
hym as shee deemed needfull, with a low courtesie
I warrant ye, commits him to his quiet, and so
went to bed to her fellowes the maidseruantes.
Well did this hypocrite perceiue the keyes of the
doores carried into the good mans chamber,
whereof he being not a little glad, thought now
they would imagine all things sure, and therefore
doubtlesse sleep the sounder: as for the keyes, hee
needed no helpe of them, because such as he go
neuer unprouidcd of instrumets fitting their trade,
and so at this time was this notable trecher. In the

20 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

dead time of the night, when sound sleep makes
y« eare vnapt to heare the verie least noyse, he
forsaketh his bed, & hauing gotten all the plate
bound vp togither in his cloke, goeth downe into
the shop, where well remembring both the place
and percels, maketh vp his pack with some twenty
pounds-worth of goods more. Then setling to his
engin, he getteth the doore off the hindges, and
being foorth, lifteth close to againe, and so de-
partes, meeting within a dozen paces, three or
foure of his companions that lurked therabouts for
the purpose. Their word for knowing ech other,
as is said, was Quests and this villaines comfortable
newes to them, was Twag, signifying he had sped:
ech takes a fleece for easier carriage, and so away
to Be// brow^ which, as I haue heard is as they
interpret it, the house of a theefe receiuer, without
which they can do nothing, and this house with an
apt porter to it, stands redie for them all houres of
the night: too many such are there in London, the
maisters whereof beare countenance of honest
substantiall men, but all their liuing is gotten in
this order, the end of such (though they scape
awhile) will be sayling westward in a Cart to
Tiborn. Imagine these villaines there in their
iollitie, the one reporting point by point his cun-
ning deceipt, and the other (fitting his humour)
extolling the deede with no meane commenda-
tions. But returning to the honest Citizen, who

THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHIXG 2 1

finding in the morning how deerly he paid for a
gammon of Bacon, and a cheese, and how his kinde
courtesie was thus trecherously requited: blames
the poore maid, as innocent herein as himselfe, and
imprisoning her, thinking so to regaine his owne:
griefe with ill cherishing there shortens her life:
And thus ensueth one hard hap vpon another, to
the great griefe both of maister and mistresse,
when the trueth was knowne, that they so wronged
their honest seruant: how it may forewarne others,
I leaue to vour own opinions, that see what ex-
traordinarie deuises are now adayes, to beguile
the simple and honest liberall minded.

Of a notable knaue, who for his cunning deceiuing a
Gentleman of his purse : scorned the name of a
Conny-catcher^ and woulde needes he termed a
Foole-taker^ as master and beginner of that new
found Arte.

A CREW of these wicked companions being
one day met togither in Pauls Church, (as
that is a vsuall place of their assembly, both to
determine on their driftes, as also to speede of
manie a bootie) seeing no likelihood of a good
afternoone, so they tearme it either forenoone or
after, when ought is to be done: some dispersed
themselues to the plaies, other to the bowling
Allies, and not past two or three stayed in the

22 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

Church. Quoth on of them, I haue vowed not to
depart but something or other He haue before I
go: my minde giues me, that this place yet will
yeelde vs all our suppers this night, the other
holding like opinion with him there likewise
walked vp and downe, looking when occasion
would serue for some Cash. At length they espied
a Gentleman toward the lawe entring in at the
little North doore, and a countrey Clyent going
with him in very hard talke, the Gentleman hold-
ing his gowne open with his armes on either side
as verie manie doe, gaue sight of a faire purple
veluet purse, which was halfe put vnder his girdle:
whiche I warrant you the resolute fellowe that
woulde not depart without some thing, had quickly
espied. A game, qd. he to his fellows, marke the
stand, and so separating themselues walked aloofe,
the Gentleman going to the nether steppe of the
staires that ascend vp into the Quire, and there he
walked still with his clyent. Oft this crew of mates
met together, and said there was no hope of
nipping the boung because he held open his
gowne so wide, and walked in such an open place.
Base knaues, quoth the frolicke fellowe, if I say I
will haue it, I must haue it, though hee that owes
it had sworne the contrarie. Then looking aside,
hee spied his trugge or queane comming vp the
Church: Away, quoth he to the other, go looke
you for some other purchase, this wench and I are

THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CATCHING 23

sufficient for this. They go, he lessons the drab in
this sorte, that shee should to the Gentleman,
whose name shee verie well knew, in that shee had
holpe to coosen him once before, & preteding to
be sent to him fro one he was wel acquainted with
for his councell, shoulde giue him his fee for
auoiding suspition, and so frame some wrong done
her, as well inough she coulde: when her mate
(taking occasion as it serued) would worke the
meane, she should strike, & so they both preuaile.
The queane well inured with such courses, be-
cause she was one of y« most skilfuU in that
profession, walked vp and downe alone in the
Gentlemans sight, that he might discerne shee
staied to speake with him, and as he turned too-
ward her, he saw her take money out of her purse,
whereby he gathered some benefite was toward
him: which made him the sooner dispatch his
other clyent, when shee stepping to him, tolde
such a tale of commendations from his verie friend,
that had sent her to him as shee said, that hee
entertained her very kindly, and giuing him his
fee, which before her face he put vp into his purse,
and thrust it vnder his girdle againe: she pro-
ceeded to a verie sound discourse, whereto he
listened with no litle attention. The time seruing
fit for the fellows purpose, he came behind the
Gentleman, and as many times one friend will
familiarly with another, clap his handes ouer his

24 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

eyes to make him guesse who he is, so did this
companion, holding his handes fast ouer the
Gentlemans eyes, saide: who am I ? twise or thrise,
in whiche time the drab had gotten the purse and
put it vp. The Gentleman thinking it had beene
some merrie friend of his, reckened the names of
three or foure, when letting him go, the craftie
knaue dissembling a bashfull shame of what he
had done, said: By my troth sir I crie ye mercy,
as I came in at the Church doore, I tooke ye for
such a one (naming a man) a verie friend of mine,
whome you very much resemble: I beseech ye be
not angrie, it was verie boldly done of me, but in
penance of my fault, so please ye to accept it, I will
bestow a gallon or two of wine on ye, and so
laboured him earnestly to go with him to the
tauerne, still alledging his sorrow for mistaking
him. The Gentleman litle suspecting how who am
I had handled him, seeing how sorie he was, and
seeming to be a man of no such base condition:
tooke all in good part, saying: No harme sir, to
take one for another, a fault wherein any man may
easily erre, and so excusing the acceptation of his
wine, because he was busie there with a Gentle-
woman his friend: the Trecher with courtesie
departed, and the drab (hauing what shee would)
shortning her tale, he desiring her to com to his
chamber the next morning, went to the place
where her copes-mate & she met, and not long

THE THIRD PJRT Of COKST-CJTCHiyG 25

after, diuers other of the one, -srho hearing in AJrhat
manner this act was perfourmed, smiled a good
thereat, that she had both got the Gentlemans
purse, her cvrne money againe, and his aduise for
iust no thing. He that had done this tail exploit,
in a place so open in view, so hardly to be com by,
and on a man that made no mean esteeme of his
wit: bids his fellowes keepe the woorthlesse name
of a Conny-catcher to themselues: for hee hence-
foorth would be tearmed a Foole-taker, and such
as could imitate this quaint example of his, (which
hee would set downe as an entrance into that art)
should not thinke scome to become his schollers.
Night drawing on apace, the Gentleman re-
turned home, not all this while missing his purse,
but beeing set at supper, his wife intreated a pint
of Secke, which hee minding to send for: drewe to
his piirse, and seeing it gone, what straunge lookes
(beside sighs) were between him and his wife, I
leaue to your supposing, and blame themi not: for
as I haue heard, there was seuen pound in Golde,
beside thirty shillings and odde white moner in
the purse. But in the middest of his griefe^ hee
rcmembred him that said, who am I ? Wherewith
bee brake foorth into a great laughter, the cause
whereof his wife beeing desirous to know, hee
declared all that passed betweene him and the
deceiuer, as also how sone afterward the quean e
abreuiated her discourse and followed : so br troth

26 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

wife (quoth he) betweene who am I and the drab,
my purse is gone: let his losse teach others to
looke better to theirs.

An other Tale of a coosening companion^ who ivould
needs trie his cunning in this new inuented art^
and how by his knauery (at one instant) he
beguiled half a dozen and more.

OF late time there hath a certaine base kind of
trade been vsed, who though diuers poor
men, & doubtles honest apply themselues to, only
to relieue their need: yet are there some notorious
varlets do the same, Seeing compacted with such
kind of people, as this present treatise manifesteth
to the worlde, and what with outward simplicity
on the one side, and cunning close trechery on the
other, diuers honest Cittizens and day-labouring
men, that resort to such places as I am to speake
of, onely for recreation as opportunity serueth,
haue bin of late sundry times deceiued of their
purses. This trade, or rather vnsufferable loytring
qualitie, in singing of Ballets, and songs at the
doores of such houses where plaies are vsed, as
also in open markets and other places of this Cittie,
where is most resort: which is nothing els but a
sly fetch to draw many togeather, who listning
vnto an harmelesse dittie, after warde walke home
to their houses with heauie hearts: from such as

THE THIRD PJRT OF COXXr-CJTCHlXG 27

are heereof true witnesses to their cost, do I de-
liuer this example. A subtil fellow, belike im-
boldncd by acquaintance with the former deceit,
or els beeing but a beginner to practise the same,
calling certaine of his companions together, would
try whether he could attaine to be maister of his
art or no, by taking a great many of fools with one
traine. But let his intent and what els beside,
remaine to abide the censure after y^ mater is
heard, & com to Gracious street, wher this
villanous pranke was performed. A roging mate,
& such another with him, were there got vpo a
stal singing of balets which belike was som prety
tov, for very many gathered about to heare it, &
diuers buying, as their affections serued, drew to
their purses &: paid the singers for the. The slye
mate and his fellowes, who were dispersed among
them that stoode to heare the songes: well noted
where euerie man that bought, put vp his purse
againe, and to such as would not buy, counterfeit
warning was sundrie times giuen by the rogue and
his associate, to beware of the cut pursse, and
looke to their pursses, which made them often feel
where their pursses were, either in sleeue, hose, or
at girdle, to know whether they were safe or no.
Thus the craftie copesmates were acquainted with
what they most desired, and as they were scat-
tered, by shouldring, thrusting, feigning to let fall
somethine, and other wilie tricks fit for their

28 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

purpose: heere one lost his purse, there another
had his pocket pickt, and to say all in briefe, at
one instant, vpon the complaint of one or two that
sawe their pursses were gone, eight more in the
same companie, found themselues in like predica-
ment. Some angrie, others sorrowful!, and all
greatly discontented, looking about them, knewe
not who to suspect or challenge, in that the vil-
laines themselues that had thus beguiled them,
made shewe that they had sustained like losse.
But one angrie fellow, more impacient then al the
rest, he falles vpon the ballade singer, and beating
him with his fists well fauouredly, sayes, if he had
not listened his singing, he had not lost his purse,
and therefore woulde not be other wise perswaded,
but that they two and the cutpurses were com-
pacted together. The rest that had lost their
purses likewise, and saw that so may complaine
togither: they iumpe in opinion with the .other
fellow, & begin to tug & hale the ballad singers,
when one after one, the false knaues began to
shrinke awaie with y® pursses. By means of some
officer then being there preset, the two roges wer
had before a lustice, and vpon his discreete exa-
mination made, it was found, that they and the Cut-
purses were compacted together, and that by this
vnsuspected villanie, they had deceiued many. The
fine Foole-taker himsclfe, with one or two more of
that companie, was not long after apprehended:

THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNr-CJTCHIXG 29

when I doubt not but they had their reward aun-
swerable to their deseruing: for I heare of their
iourney westward, but not of their returnc: let this
forewarne those that Hsten singing in the streets.

Of a crnjtie mate^ that brought two young wen vnto a
Tauerney zvhere departing ivith a Cup^ he left
them to pay both for the zvine and Cup.

A FRIEND of mine sent me this note, and
assuring me the truth therof, I thoght neces-
sary to set it downe amongst the rest: both for the
honest simplicitye on the one side and most
cunning knauer^'e vsed on the other, and thus it
was. Two young men of famiHar acquaintaunce,
who deHghted much in musicke, because them-
selues therein were somwhat expert, as on the
virginals, Bandora, Lute and such like: were one
euening at a common Inne of this town (as I haue
heard) where the one of them shewed his skill on
the Virginals, to the no little contentment of the
hearers. Nowe as diuers guests of the house came
into the room to listen, so among the rest entered
an artificiall Connv-catcher, who as occasion
serued, in the time of ceissing betweene the seueral
toyes and fancies hee plaied: very much com-
mended his cunning, quicke hand, and such
qualities praiseworthy in such a professour. The
time being come, when these young men craued
leaue to depart, this politique varlet stepping to

30 THE THIRD PART OF CONNT-CJTCHING

them, desired that they would accept a quart of
wine at his hand, which he would most gladlie he
would bestow vpon them: besides, if it liked him
that played on the Virginals to instruct, he would
helpe him to so good a place, as happily might
aduauntage him for euer. These kind words,
deliuered with such honest outward shew, caused
the yoong men, whose thoughts were free from
any other opinion, than to be as truely and plainely
dealt withall as themselues meant, accepted his
offer, because he that played on the Virginalles
was desirous to haue some good place of seruice,
and here vpon to the Tauerne they goe, and being
set, the wily companion calleth for two pintes of
wine, a pinte of white, and a pinte of claret, casting
his cloake vpon the Table, and failing to his
former communication of preferring the yoong
man. The wine is brought, and two cuppes with-
all, as is the vsuall manner: when drinking to them
of the one pinte, they pledge him, not vnthankfull
for his gentlenesse. After some time spent in talke,
and as he perceiued fit for his purpose, hee takes
the other cup, and tastes the other pinte of wine:
wherewith he finding fault, that it dranke some-
what harde, sayde, that Rose-water and Sugar
would do no harme, whereupon he leaues his
seate, saying he vv^as well acquainted with one of
the seruants of the house, of whom he could haue
two pennywoorth of Rose-water for a peny, and so

THE THIRD PJR T OF CONNT-CJTCHING 3 1

of Sugar likewise, wherefore he would step to the
barre vnto him, so taking the cup in his hand, he
did, the yoong men neuer thinking on any such
treachery as ensued, in that he seemed an honest
man, and beside left his cloke lying on the table
by them. No more returnes the yonker with Rose-
water and Sugar, but stepping out of doores, vn-
seene of any, goes away roundly with the cup. The
yoong men not a little wondering at his long
tarrying, by the comming of the seruants to see
what they wanted, who tooke no regardc of his
sudden departure, find themselues there left, not
onelie to pay for the wine, but for the Cuppe also,
beeing rashly supposed by the maister and his
seruantes to be copartners with the treacherous
villaine: but their honest behauiour well knowen,as
also their simplicitie too much abused well witnessed
their innocencie: notwithstanding they were faine
to pay for the cuppe, as afterward they did, hauing
nothing towardes their charge but a threede bare
cloake not woorth two shillinges. Take heede
howe you drinke wine with any such companions.

Of an honest housholder ivhich zvas cunningly de-
ceyued by a subtill companion^ that came to hire
a Chamber j or his Maister,

^T OT farre from Charing crosse dwelleth an
H honest yoong man, who beeing not long
since married, and hauing more roomes in his

32 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

house than himselfe occupyeth, eyther for terme
time, or the Court lying so neere, as diuers do, to
make a reasonable commoditie, and to ease house-
rent, which (as the worlde goeth now is none of
the cheapest) letteth foorth a chamber or two,
according as it may be spared. In an euening but
a while since, came one in the manner of a Seruing
man to this man and his wife, and he must needs
haue a Chamber for his Maister, offering so
largely, as the bargaine was soone concluded be-
tweene them. His intent was to haue fingered
some bootie in the house, as by the sequele it may
be likeliest gathered: but belike no fit thing lying
abroad, or hee better regarded then happily he
woulde be, his expectation that way was frustrate :
yet as a resolute Conny-catcher indeede, that
scorneth to attempt without some successe, and
rather will pray vpon small commodity, then
returne to his fellows disgraced with a lost labour:
he summons his wits together, and by a smooth
tale ouer-reached both the man and his wife. He
tels them, that his Maister was a captaine late
come from the Sea, and had costly apparell to
bring thither, which for more easie carriage, he
entreats them lend him a sheet to binde it vp in:
they suspecting no ill, because hee required their
boy should goe with him to helpe him cary the
stuffe, the good wife steppes vnto her Chest,
where her linnen lav finelie sweetned with

THE THIRD PJR T OF CONNT-CJTCHING 33

Roseleaues and Lauender, and lends him a very
good sheet in deed.

This successe made him bolde to venter a
little further, and then he tels them, his Maister
had a great deal of broken Sugar, and fine
spices that lay negligently abroad in his lodging
as it was brought from the Shippe, all which
hee was assured his Maister would bestow on
them, so hee could deuise howe to get it brought
thither.

These liberall promises, preuailing with them
that lightlie beleeued, and withall were somewhat
couetous of the Sugar and spices: The woman
demaunded if a couple of pillow-beeres would not
serue to bring the Sugar and spices in ? Yes marry
(quoth hee) so the Sugar may best be kept by it
selfe, and the spices by themselues. And (quoth
hee) because there are many craftie knaues abroad,
(greeuing that any should bee craftier then him-
selfe) and in the euening the linnen might quicklie
bee snatched from the boy: For the more safety,
hee would carry the sheet and pillow-beeres him-
selfe, and within an hower or little more, returne
with the boye againe, because he would haue all
things ready before his Maister came, who (as hee
said) was attending on the Councell at the court.
The man and his wife crediting his smooth
speeches, sends their boy with him, and so along
toward luie-bridge goe they. The Conny-catcher

34 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

seeing himselfe at free libertie, that hee had gotten
a very good sheet, and two fine pillow-beeres :
steps to the wall, as though he would make water,
bidding the boy go faire and softlie on before. The
boy doubting nothing, did as hee willed him, when
presently he stept into some house hard by fit to
entertaine him: and neuer since was hee, his
Maister, the Sugar, spices, or the linnen heard off.
Manie haue beene in this manner deceiued, as I
heare, let this then giue them warning to beware
of any such vnprofitable guests.

Of one that came to buy a knife, and made first -proof e
of his trade on him that solde it,

ONE of the Conning Nippes about the Towne,
came vnto a poore Cutler to haue a Cuttle
made according vnto his owne mind, and not
aboue three inches would hee haue both the knife
and the haft in length : yet of such pure mettall,
as possible may be. Albeit the poore man neuer
made the like before, yet being promised foure
times the value of his stuffe and paines, he was
contented to doe this, and the day beeing come
that hee should deliuer it, the partie came, who
liking it exceedingly, gaue him the mony pro-
mised, which the poore man gladly put vp into his
purse, that hung at a button hole of his wascoat
before his brest smiling that he was so wel paid for

THE THIRD PJRT OF COXNr-CJTCHING 35

so small a trifle. The partie perceiuing his merry
countenaunce, and imagining hee gest for what
purpose the knife was, sayde, honest man, whereat
smile you? By my troth sir (quoth the Cutler) I
smile at your knife, because 1 neuer made one so
little before: and were it not offensiue vnto you,
I would request to knowe to what vse you will put
it too: Wilt thou keepe my counsaile (quoth the
Nip?) yea on mine honestie (quoth the Cutler.)
Then hearken in thy eare saide the Nip, and so
rounding with him, cut the poore mans purse that
houng at his bosome, he neuer feeling when hee
did it: with this knife (quoth the Nippe) meane I
to cut a purse: marr}' god forbid (quoth the Cutler)
I cannot thinke you to be such a kind of man, I
see you loue to iest, and so they parted.

The poore man, not so wise as to remember hys
owne purse, when by such a warning he might
haue taken the ofFendour dooing the deede, but
rather proud (as it were) that his money was so
easily earned : walkes to the Alehouse, which was
within a house or two of his owne, and finding
there three or foure of his neighbors, with whome
hee began to iest very- pleasantly: sweares by
cocke and pie hee would spend a whole groat
vppon them, for hee had gotten it and more,
cleerly by a good bargaine that morning.

Though it was no maruel to see him so liberall,
because indeede hee was a good companion: yet

36 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

they were loth to put him vnto such cost, notwith-
standing he would needs doe it, and so farre as
promise stretcht, was presently fild in and set vpon
the boord. In the drinking time often he wisht to
meet with more such customers as hee had done that
morning, and commended him for a verie honest
Gentleman I warraunt you. At length, when the
reckoning was to be paied, hee drawes to his purse,
where finding nothing left but a peece of the string in
the button hole: I leaue to your iudgement, whether
hee was now as sorie as he was merrie before.

Blancke and all amort sits the poore Cutler, and
with suche a pittifull countenaunce, as his neigh-
bours did not a little admire his solemn alteration,
& desirous to know the cause thereof, from point
to point he discourseth the whole maner of the
tragedie, neuer naming his new customer, but with
such a farre fetcht sigh, as soule and body would
haue parted in sunder. And in midst of all his
griefe, he brake forth into these tearmes. He
beleue a man the better by his worde while I
knowe him, the knife was bought to cut a purse
indeed, and I thank hym for it he made the first
proofe of the edge with me. The neighbours
greeuing for his losse, yet smiling at his folly to be
so ouerreached, were faine to pay the groat the
cutler called in, because he had no other money
about him, and spent as much more beside to driue
away his heauinesse.

THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHIXG 37

This tale, because it was somewhat misreported
before, vpon talke had with the poore Cutler him-
selfe, is set downe now in true forme and maner
howe it was done, therefore is there no offence
offered, when by better consideration, a thing may
be enlarged or amended, or at least the note be
better confirmed. Let the poore Cutlers mishap
example others, that they brag not ouer hastily of
gaine easily gotten, least they chance to pay as
deerelv for it, as he did.

0/ a yoong Nip that cunyiingly beguiled an antient
■professor oj that trade^ and his queane with hyrn^
at a play,

A GOOD fellowe that was newly entered into
the nipping craft, and had not as yet attained
to any acquaintance with y« chiefe and cunning
maisters of that trade: In the Christmas holydaies
last came to see a play at the Bull within Bishops
gate, there to take his benefit as time and place
would permit him. Not long had hee staied in the
prease, but he had gotten a yoong mans purse out
of his pocket, which when he had, hee stepped
into the stable to take out the mony, and to conuey
away the purse. But looking on his commoditie,
he found nothing therin but white counters, a
thimble and a broken threepence, which belike
the fellowe that ought it, had done of purpose to

38 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

decelue the cutpurse withall, or else had plaid at
the cardes for counters, and so carried his win-
ninges about him till his next sitting to play.
Somewhat displeased to be so ouertaken, he looked
aside, and spied a lustie youth entring at the doore,
and his drab with him: this fellow he had heard to
be one of the finest Nippers about the towne, and
euer carried his queane with him, for conueiance
when the stratageme was performed: he puts vp
the counters into the purse againe, and follows
close to see some peece of their seruice. Among a
companie of seemely men was this lustie com-
panion and hys minion gotten, where both they
might best beholde the play, and worke for ad-
uantage, and euer this yoong Nip was next to him,
to marke when he should attempt any exployt,
standing as it were more then halfe betweene the
cunning Nip and his drab, onely to learne some
part of their skill. In short time the deed was
performed, but how, the yoong Nip could not
easily discerne, onely he felt him shift his hand
toward his Trug, to conuey the purse to her, but
she being somewhat mindfull of the play, because a
merriment was then on the stage, gaue no regard:
whereby thinking hee had puld her by the coat,
he twitcht the yoong Nip by the cloke, who taking
aduantage of this offer, put downe his hand and
receiued the purse of him. Then counting it dis-
courtesie to let him loose all his labour, he softly

THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNr-CJTCHIXG 39

pluckt the queane by the coate, which she feeling,
and imagining it had beene her companions hand:
receiued of him the first purse with the white
counters in it. Then fearing least his stay should
hinder him, and seeing the other intended to haue
more purses ere he departed : away goes the yoong
Nip with the purse he got so easily, whcrin (as I
haue heard) was xxxvii. shillings, and odde mony,
which did so much content him, as that he had
beguiled so ancient a standcr in that profession.
What the other thought when he found the purse,
and could not guesse how hee was coosened:
I leaue to your censures, onely this makes me
smile, that one false knaue can beguile another,
whiche biddes honest men looke the better to their
pursses.

How a Gentleman was craftily deceiued of a Chains
of Golde and his pursse, in Paules Church in
London.

AGENTLEMA of the Cuntrye, who (as I
haue heard since the time of his mishap,
wherof I am now to speake) had about halfe a yeer
before buried his wife & belike thinking well of
some other Gentlewoma, whom he ment to make
account of as his second choise: vpo good hope or
otherwise perswaded, he came vp to London to
prouide himselfe of such necessaries as the Cuntry

40 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

is not vsually stored withall. Besides, silkes,
veluets, cambrickes and such like, he bought a
Chaine of Golde that cost him Ivij. pounds and
odde money, wher of because he would haue the
mayden-head or first wearing himselfe, he pre-
sently put it on in the Gold smiths shop, and so
walked therwith about London as his occasions
serued. But let not the Gentleman be offended,
who if this Booke come to his handes, can best
auouch the trueth of this discourse, if here by the
way I blame his rash pride, or simple credulitie:
for betweene the one and other, the Chaine he
paide so deere for about ten of the clock in the
morning, the Cunny catchers the same day ere
night shared amongst them, a matter whereat he
may well greeue, and I be sorie, in respect he is
my very good freend: but to the purpose. This
Gentleman walking in Paules, with his Chaine
faire glittering about his necke, talking with his
man about some busines: was well viewed and
regarded by a crewe of Cony catchers, whose teeth
watred at his goodly Chaine, yet knew not how to
come by it hanging as it did, and therefore entred
into secret conspiration among themselues, if they
could not come by all the Chain, yet how they
might make it lighter by halfe a score poundes at
the least. Still had they their eyes on the honest
Gentleman, who little douted any such treason
intended againste his so late bought bargaine: and

THE THIRD PJR T OF CONXr-CJTCHIXG 4 1

they hauing laid their plot, eche one to be assistant
in this enterprise, sawe when the Gentleman dis-
missed his seruant, to go about such affaires as he
had appointed him, him selfe still walking there vp
and downe the middle Isle. One of these mates,
that stoode most on his cunning in these exploytes,
folowed the seruingman foorth of the Church
calling him by diuers names, as lohn, Thomas,
William, &c. as though he had knowne his right
name, but could not hit on it: which whether he
did or no I know not, but well I wot the seruingma
turned back againe, and seeing him that called him
seemed a Gentleman, booted and cloaked after the
newest fashion, came with his hat in his hand to
him, saying: Sir, do ye call me? Marie do I my
freend quoth the other, doost not thou serue such
a Gentleman? and named one as himselfe pleased.
No truely Sir, answered the seruingman, I knowe
not any such Gentleman as you speake of. By my
troth replyed the Connycatcher, I am assured I
knew thee and thy Master, though now I cannot
suddenly remember my selfe. The seruingman
fearing no harme, yet fitting the humour of this
trecherous companion, tolde ris:ht his Masters
name whome he serued, and that his Master was
euen then walking in Paules. O Gods will (quoth
the Cony catcher, repeating his masters name) a
very honest Gentleman, of such a place is he not?
naming a shire of the Country: for he must knowe

42 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

both name, Country and somtimes what Gentle-
men dwell neere the partie that is to be ouer
reached, ere he can proceed. No in deed Sir
(answered the seruingman, with such reuerence
as it had beene to an honest Gentlema in deed)
my Master is of such a place, a mile from such a
Towne, and hard by such a knights house: by
which report the deceiuer was halfe instructed,
because though he was ignorant of the fellows
Master, yet well he knew the Country, and the
knight named. So crauing pardon that he had
mistaken him, he returnes againe into the Church,
and the seruingman trudgeth about his assigned
busines. Beeing come to the rest of the crewe,
he appointes one of them (whome he knewe to be
expert in deed) to take this matter in hand, for
him selfe might not do it, least the seruingman
should return and knowe him, he schooled the
rest likewise what euery man should do when the
pinch came, and changing his cloke with one of
his fellowes, walked by him selfe attending the
feate: and euery one being as ready, the apointed
fellow makes his sallye foorth, and comming to
the Gentleman, calling him by his name, giues him
the courtesie and embrace, likewise thanking him
for good cheere he had at his house, which he did
with such seemly behauiour and protestatio, as the
Gentleman (thinking the other to be no lesse) vsed
like action of kindenes to him. Now as Country

THE THIRD PJRT OF COXXr-CJTCHIXG 43

Gentlemen hauc many visiters both with neere
dwelling neighbours, and freends that iournev
from farre, whome they can hardly remember, but
some principall one that serues as countenance to
the other: so he not discrediting the cunning
mates woordes, who still at euery point alleaged
his kinred to the knight neighbour to the Gentle-
man, which the poor seruing man had (douoting
no ill) reuealed before, and that both there and at
his own house in hawking time with that knight
and other Gentlemen of the Cuntrey he had
liberally tasted his kindnes: desiring pardon that
he had forgotten him, and offered him the curtesie
of the Citie. The Connv catcher excused him selfe
for that time, saying, at their next meeting he
would bestow it on him. Then seeming to haue
espyed his Chaine, and commending the fairenes
and woorkmanship thereof: sayes, I pray ye sir
take a litle cousel of a freend, it may be you will
returne thankes for it. I wonder quoth he, you
dare weare such a costly lewell so open in sight,
which is euen but a baite to entice bad men to
aduenture time and place for it, and nowhere
sooner then in this Cittie, where (I may say to you)
are such a number of Connycatchers, Cossoners
and such like, that a man can scarcely keep any
thing from them, they haue so many reaches and
sleights to beguile withall: which a very especiall
freend of mine found too true not manv daies

44 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

since. Heervppon he tolde a very solemne tale, of
villanies and knaueries in his owne profession,
wherby he reported his freend had lost a watch of
golde: shewing how closely his freende wore it in
his bosome, and how strangely it was gotten from
him, that the gentleman by that discourse waxed
halfe affraide of his Chaine. And giuing him many
thanks for this good warning, presently takes the
Chaine from about his necke, and tying it vp fast
in a handkercher, put it vp into his sleeue, saying.
If the Connycatcher get it heere, let him not spare
it. Not a little did the tretcher smile in his sleeue,
hearing the rash securitie, but in deed simplicitie
of the gentleman, and no sooner sawe he it put vp,
but presently he counted it sure his owne, by the
assistance of his complices, that lay in an ambus-
cado for the purpose, with embraces and courtesies
on either side, the Conny catcher departes, leauing
the gentleman walking there still: whereat the
crew were not a little offended, that he still kept in
the Church, and would not goe abroad. Well, at
length (belike remembring some businesse) the
Gentleman taking leaue of an other that talked
with him, hasted to go forth at the furthest west
doore of Paules, which he that had talked with
him, and gaue him such counsell perceyuing, hied
out of the other doore, and got to the entraunce
ere he came foorth, the rest following the gentle-
man at an inch. As hee was stepping out, the other

THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING 45

stept in, and lette fall a keie, hauing his hat so low
ouer his eyes, that he could not wel discerne his
face, and stooping to take vp the keie, kepte the
gentleman from going backeward or forward, bv
reason his legge was ouer the threshold. The for-
most Conny-catcher behind, pretending a quarrell
vnto him that stooped, rapping out an oath, and
drawing his dagger, saide: Doe I meete the
villaine? Nay, hee shall not scape mee now, and
so made offer to strike him.

The gentleman at his standing vp, seeing it was
hee that gaue him so good counsaile,and pretended
himselfe his verie friend, but neuer imagining this
traine was made for him: stept in his defence,
when the other following tript vp his heeles: so
that hee and his counsellour were downe together,
and two more vppon them, striking with their
daggers verie eagerly, marie indeede the gentle-
man had most of the blowes, and both his hand-
kercher with the chaine, and also his purse with
three and fiftie shillinges in it, were taken out of
his pocket in this strugling, euen by the man that
himselfe defended.

It was maruellous to behold, how not regarding
the villanes wordes vttered before in the Church,
nor thinking vppon the charge about him (which
after hee had thus treacherously lost vnwittingly :)
hee stands pacifying them that were not discon-
tented but onely to beguyle him. But they vowing

46 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

that they would presently goe for their weapons,
& so to the field, tolde the Gentleman he labourd
but in vaine, for fight they must and would, and so
going downe by Paules Chaine, left the Gentleman
made a Conny going vp toward Fleet street, sorry
for his new Counseller and freend, and wishing
him good lucke in the fight: which in deede was
with nothing but wine pots, for ioy of their late
gotten bootie. Neere to Saint Dunstones Church
the Gentleman remembred himselfe, and feeling
his pocket so light had suddenly more greefe at his
hart, than euer happen to him or any man againe.
Backe he comes to see if he could espye any of
them, but they were farre inough fro him: God
send him better happe when he goes next a wooing,
and that this his losse may be a warning to others.

How a cunning knaue got a Truncke well stuffed with
linnen and certaine parcelles oj plate out of a
Cittizens house^ and how the Master of the house
holpe the deceiuer to carry away his owne goods.

WITHIN the Cittie of London, dwelleth a
worthy man who hath very great dealing in
his trade, and his shop very well frequented with
Customers: had such a shrewd mischaunce of late
by a Conny catcher, as may well serue for an
example to others leaste they haue the like. A
Cunning villaine, that had long time haunted this

THE THIRD PJRT OF COXNr-CJTCHIXG 47

Cittizens house, and gotten many a cheat which
he carried awaye safely: made it his custome when
he wanted money, to helpe him selfe euer where
he had sped so often, diuers thinges he had which
were neuer mist, especially such as appertained to
the Citizens trade, but when anye were found
wanting, they could not deuise which way they
were gone, so pollitiquelye this fellow alwayes
behaued himselfe, well knew he what times of
greatest busines this Cittizen had in his trade, and
when the shop is most stored with Chapmen: then
would he step vp the stares (for there was and is
another door to the house besides that which en-
treth into the shop) and what was next hand came
euer away with. One time aboue the rest, in an
euening about Candlemas, when daylight shuts in
about six of the clock, he watched to do some featc
in the house, and seeing the mistresse goe foorth
with her maid, the goodman and his folkes very
busie in the shop: vp the staires he goes as he was
wonte to doo, and lifting vp the latch of the hall
portall doore, sawe no body neere to trouble him,
when stepping into the next chamber, where the
Citizen and his wife vsually lay, at the beds feete
there stood a hansome truncke, wherein was ver}'
good linnen, a faire gilt salte, two siluer french
bowles for wine, two siluer drinking pots, a stone
lugge couered with siluer, and a dosen of siluer
spoons. This trucke he brings to the staires head,

48 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

and making fast the doore againe, drawes it downe
the steppes so softlye as he could, for it was so
bigge and heauy, as he could not easily carry it,
hauing it out at the doore, vnseene of any neigh-
bour or any body else, he stood strugling with it
to lift it vp on the stall, which by reason of the
weight trobled him very much. The goodman
comming foorth of his shop, to bid a customer or
two far well, made the fellowe affraide he should
now be taken for all togither: but calling his wittes
together to escape if he could, he stood gazing vp
at the signe belonging to the house, as though he
were desirous to knowe what signe it was: which
the Cittizen perceiuing, came to him and asked
him what he sought for? I looke for the signe of
the blew bell sir, quoth the fellowe, where a
gentleman hauing taken a chamber for this tearme
time, hath sent me hether with this his Troncke of
apparell (quoth the Citizen) I know no such signe
in this streete, but in the next (naming it) there is
such a one indeede, and there dwelleth one that
letteth foorthe chambers to gentlemen. Truely sir
quoth the fellowe, thats the house I should goe to,
I pray you sir lend me your hand, but to help the
Trunke on my back, for I thinking to ease me a
while vpon your stall, set it shorte, and now I can
hardly get it vp againe. The Citizen not knowing
his owne Trunke, but indeede neuer thinking on
any such notable deceite: helpes him vp with the

THE THIRD PART OF CONNT-CJTCHIXG 49

Trunckc, and so sends him away roundly with his
owne g^oods. When the Truncke was mist, I leaue
to your conceits what housholde greefe there was
on all sides, especiallye the goodman himselfe,
who remembring how hee helpt the fellow vp with
a Truncke, perceiued that heereby hee had be-
guyled himselfe, and loste more then in haste hee
should recouer againe. How this may admonish
others, I leaue to the iudgement of the indifferent
opinion, that see when honest meaning is so
craftilye beleagerd, as good foresight must be
vsed to preuent such daungers.

How a broker zvas cunninglie ouer-reached by as
craftie a knaue as hirnselje^ and brought in
danger of the Gallowes.

IT hath beene vsed as a common byword, a craf-
tie knaue needeth no Broker, wherby it shoulde
appeare that there can hardlie bee a craftier knaue
then a Broker. Suspende your iudgements till you
haue heard this Discourse ensuing, & then as you
please censure both the one and the other.

A Ladie of the Countrie sent vp a seruant whom
she might well put in trust, to prouide her of a
gowne answerable to such directions as she had
geuen him, which was of good price, as may
appeare by the outside and lace, wherto doubtles
was euery other thing agreeable. For the Tayler
had seuenteene yardes of the best black satten

D

50 THE THIRD PART OF CONNT-CJTCHING

could be got for monie, and so much gold lace,
beside spangles, as valued thirteene pound, what
els was beside I know not, but let it suffice thus
much was lost, and therfore let vs to the maner how.

The satten and the lace beeing brought to the
Tayler that should make the gown, and spred
abroad on the shop boord to be measured, certain
good felows of the Conny-catching profession
chaunced to goe by, who seeing so rich lace, and
so excellent good satten, began to commune with
themselues how they might make some purchase
of what they had scene: and quickly it was to be
done or not at all. As euer in a crewe of this
qualitie, there is some one more ingenious and
politick then the rest, or at leastwise that couets
to make himselfe more famous then the rest, so
this instant was there one in this companie that
did sweare his cunning should deepelie deceiue
him, but he would haue both the lace and satten.
When hauing layd the plot with his companions,
how and which way their helpe might stand him
in stead, this way they proceeded.

Wei noted they the seruingman that stood In
the shop with the Tailer, and gathered by his
diligent attendance, that he had some charge of the
gowne there to be made, wherefore by him must
they worke their trecherie intended, and vse him
as an instrument to beguile himselfe. One of them
sitting on a seate neere the Tailers stal,could easilie

THE THIRD PJR T OF COyST-CjITCHlNG 5 1

heare the talke that passed between the seruing-
man and the Tailer, where among other communi-
cation, it was concluded that the gowne should be
made of the selfesame fashion in euery poynt, as
another Ladies was who then lay in the Citie, and
that measure being taken by her, the same would
fitlie serue the Lady for whom the gown was to be
made. Now the seruingman intended to go speake
with the Ladie, and vppon a token agreed be-
tweene them (which he carelesslie spake so lowd,
that the Conny-catcher heard it) hee would as her
leysure serued, certifie the Tayler, and hee shoulde
bring the stufFe with him, to haue the Ladies
opinion both of the one and the other.

The seruingman being gone about his affaires,
the subtil mate that had listned to al their talke,
acquaints his felows both with the determination
and token appointed for the Tailers comming to
y« Lady. The guid and leader to al the rest for
villanie, though there was no one but was better
skilde in such matters then honestie: he appoints
that one of them should go to the tauern, which
was not farre off, and laying two fagots on the fire
in a roome by himselfe, and a quart of wine filled
for countenance of the trecherie: another of that
crue should geue attendance on him, as if he were
his master, being bareheaded, and Sir, humblie
answering at euery worde. To the tauern goes
this counterfet gentleman, and his seruant waiting

52 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

on him, where euery thing was performed as is
before rehearsed. When the master knaue calling
the drawer, demanded if there dwelt neere at hand
a skilful Tayler, that could make a suite of veluet
for himselfe, mary it was to be done with very
great speed.

The Drawer named the Tayler that wee nowe
speake of, and vpon the drawers commending his
cunning, the man in all hast was sent for to a
gentleman, for whom he must make a sute of
veluet foorthwith. Vpon talke had of the stuffe,
how much was to be bought of euery thing apper-
tayning thereto: hee must immediatly take mea-
sure of this counterfette gentleman, because hee
knewe not when to returne that way againe: after-
ward they woulde goe to the Mercers.

As the Tayler was taking measure on him bare
headed, as if he had been a substantial! gentleman
indeede, the craftie mate had cunningly gotten his
purse out of his pocket, at the one string whereof
was fastened a little key, and at the other his signet
ring: This bootie he was sure of alreadie, whether
he should get any thing els or no of the mischife
intended, stepping to the window he cuts the ring
from the purse, and by his supposed man (round-
ing him in the eare) sends it to the plot-layer of
this knauerie, minding to trayne the tayler along
with him, as it were to the mercers, while he the
mean time took order for y« other matter.

THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHIXG 53

Afterwarde speaking alowd to his man, Sirrha,
quoth he, dispatch what I bad you, and about
foure of the clock meete me in Paules, by that time
I hope the Tayler and I shal haue dispatcht. To
Cheapside goeth the honest Tailer with this noto-
rious dissembler, not missing his purse for the
space of two houres after, in lesse then halfe which
time the satten and golde lace was gotten likewise
by the other villaine from the Taylers house in
this order.

Being sure the Tayler should be kept absent,
hee sends another mate home to his house, who
abused his seruants with this deuise: That the
Ladies man had met their master abroad, and had
him to the other Ladie to take measure of her, and
lest they should delay the time too long, hee was
sent for the satten and lace, declaring the token
appointed, and withall geuing their masters signet
ring for better confirmation of his message. The
seruants could doe no lesse then deliuer it, beins
commaunded (as they supposed) by so credible
testimonie: Neither did the leysure of any one
serue to goe with the messenger, who seemed an
honest young Gentleman, and caried no cause of
distrust in his countenance: Wherefore they de-
liuered him the lace and satten fouldea vp together
as it was, and desired him to will their master to
make some speede home, both for cutting out of
worke, and other occasions.

54 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

To a Broker fit for their purpose, goes this
deceiuer with the Satten lace, who knowing wel
they could not come honestly by it, nor anie thing
else hee bought of that crew, as often before he
had delt much with them: either gaue them not
so much as they would haue, or at lest as they
iudged they could haue in another place, for which
the ring-leader of this coosnage, vowed in his
minde to be reuenged on the Broker. The maister
knaue, who had spent two houres and more in
vaine with the Tailer, & would not like of anie
veluet hee sawe, when hee perceiued that he mist
his purse, and coulde not deuise howe or where he
had lost it, shewed himselfe very sory for his
mishap, and said in the morning hee would sende
the veluet home to his house, for he knew where to
speed of better than anie he had seene in the shops.
Home goes the Tailer verie sadly, where he was
entertayned with a greater mischance, for there
was the Ladies seruing-man swearing and stamp-
ing, that hee had not seene their maister since the
morning they parted, neither had he sent for the
satten and lace, but when the seruants iustified
their innocencie, beguiled both with the true token
rehearsed, and their maisters signet ring, it ex-
ceedeth my cunning to sette downe answerable
wordes, to this exceeding griefe and amazement on
either part, but most of all the honest Tailer, who
spead the better by the Brokers wilfulnes, as

THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING 55

afterward it happened, which made him the better
brooke the losse of his purse. That night all
meanes were vsed that could bee, both to the
Mercers, Brokers, Goldsmiths, Goldfiners, and
such like, where happelie such things doe come to
bee sold: but all was in vaine, the only helpe came
by the inuenter of this villanie, who scant sleeping
al night, in regard of the brokers extreame gayn-
ing, both by him, and those of his profession: the
next morning he came by the Taylers house, at
what time hee espyed him with the Ladies seruing-
man, comming foorth of the dores, and into the
tauern he went to report what a mishap he had
vpon the sending for him thether the day before.
As he was but newlie entred his sad discourse,
in comes the partie offended with the Broker, and
hauing heard all, (whereof none could make better
report then himselfe) he takes the Tayler &
seruingman aside, and pretending great griefe for
both their causes, demaunds what they would
thinke him worthie off that could help them to
their good again. On condition to meet with such
a frende offer was made of fiue pound, and after
sundry speeches passing between them alone, he
seeming that he would worke the recouerie thereof
by arte, and they promising not to disclose the man
that did them good, he drew foorth a litle booke
out of his bosom, whether it were latin or english
it skilled not, for he could not read a worde on it,

56 THE THIRD PJRT OF CONNT-CJTCHING

then desiring them to spare him alone a while,
they should perceiue what he would do for them.
Their hearts encouraged with some good hope,
kept all his words secrete to themselues: and not
long had they sitten absent out of the roome, but
he called them in againe, and seeming as though
he had bin a scholler indeed, said he found by his
figure that a Broker in such a place had their goods
lost, and in such a place of the house they should
find it, bidding them goe thether with al speed,
and as they found his wordes, so (with reseruing
to themselues how they came to knowledge there-
of) to meet him there againe in the euening, and
reward him as he had deserued.

Away in hast goes the tayler and the seruingma,
and entring the house with the constable, found
them in the place where he that reueald it, knew
the broker alway laid such gotten goods. Of their
ioy againe, I leaue you to coniecture, and think
you see the Broker with a good paire of bolts on
his heeles, readie to take his farewel of the world
in a halter, when time shall serue. The counter-
fette cunning man, and artificiall Cony-catcher, as
I heard, was payd his fiue pounde that night. Thus
one craftie knaue beguiled another, let each take
heede of dealing with any such kinde of people.

K ^^^^^ ^

ERRATA

The following emendations have been made in the
orieinal text : —

Page

Line

In the Original reads

20

7

setling '

'fethng'

21

10 *

seruant : how it

may'

' seruant how ma\' '

45

27 <

vnwittingly :) '

' vnwittingly : '

47

29

spoons. This'

'spoons This '

48

19 '

Citizen) '

' Citizen '

49

3

' greefe '

' greeefe '

^^^('^^^^^^^i^M^^s^^^^^H^H^^^M.

Dispvtatio7i betweene a

Hee Qotmy -catcher and a Shee

Qon7ty -catcher.

1592

H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^^^H.^

^N^te

THE ORIGINAL of this
text is in the Bodleian Library
(Malone 574). A very few-
misprints have been corrected
in the text : these are noted
on page 83.

G. B. H.

is-

A DISPVTATION.

EctvvceneaHceConny^catcher, anda

ShccConi.v-iaulicr, wlicthcra i hccf"coraUlioorp,i» i
niolU-.urtrull m Cou("oin-c, to tlic Coni-
uioii-wcalili.

DI§COVJ:RING THK SECRET VILLA-

rttsef,tUfiri>i^ StrHTnpets.

WithrlicConucrnonofan Englilh Couriizcn, reformed
this prcfcntyc.irc, I ^ c;x,

UcaDc,liiig;I;,ni;olcariie,

Nttfcmnr propatris,
R. G.

Imprinted at London, by A, I. for T. G.and arc to be fo!dcat
the V\'cflf"dc ofPaulct. jjy>.

«#S5»--5S'S

i^,i»i»S«'-»'«-

lises, and Ccuntrey ^^^^^

GENTLEMEN, Counwey >nen ^^^
fwends, for ^° / .l^ ^^t ons, although .n

Connv-catcher, whether o them ^^^^. ^^^^j^^.e

:; %oyle, seeke ^'j^-Xiogue, louing Country-

their coWa"'*=- I" 'I^ „ha preiudice ensues by
shall vou finde what f -^nsers grows by

Ubertines, not oneiy d)

4 THE EPISTLE

wealth, and impouerishment of their goods and
landes, but to the great indangering of their
health. For in conuersing with them they aime not
simply at the losse of goods, and blemish of their
good names, but they fish for diseases, sicknesse,
sores incurable, vlcers brusting out of the ioyntes,
and sault rhumes, which by the humour of that
villanie, lepte from Naples into Fraunce, and from
Fraunce into the bowels of Englande,which makes
many crye out in their bones, whilest goodman
Surgion laughs in his purse: a thing to be feared as
deadly while men Hue, as hell is to be dreaded after
death, for it not only infecteth the bodie, consu-
meth the soule, and waste wealth and worship, but
ingraues a perpetuall shame in the forehead of the
partie so abused. Whereof Maister Huggins hath
well written in his Myrror of Magistrates, in the
person of Memprycaius, exclaiming against har-
lots, the verses be these:

Eschue vile Venus toyes shee cuts off age^
And learne this lesson oft, and tell thy jrend.
By PockeSy death sodaine, ^^Si^^S-> Harlots end.

Besides, I haue here layde open the wily wise-
dome of ouerwise Curtizens, that with their cun-
ning, can drawe on, not only poore nouices, but
such as hold themselues maisters of their occupa-
tion. What flatteries they vse to bewitch, what
sweet words to inueagle, what simple holines to

THE EPISTLE 5

intrap, what amorous glaunces, what smirking
Ocyliades, what cringing curtesies, what stretch-
ing Adios, following a man like a blood-hound,
with theyr eyes white, laying out of haire, what
frouncing of tresses, what paintings, what Ruffes,
Cuffes, and braueries, and all to betraie the eyes of
the innocent nouice, whom when they haue drawne
on to the bent of their bow, they strip like the
prodigall childe, and turne out of doores like an
outcast of the world. The Crocodile hath not more
teares, Proteus, more shape, lanus more faces, the
Hieria, more sundry tunes to entrap the passen-
gers, then our English Curtizens, to bee plaine,
our English whores: to set on fire the hearts of
lasciuious and gazing strangers. These common,
or rather consuming strumpets, whose throathes
are softer then oyle, and yet whose steppes leade
vnto death. They haue their Ruffians to rifle,
when they cannot fetch ouer with other cunning,
their crosbiters attending vpon them, their foysts,
their bufts, their nippes, and such like. Being
wayted on by these villaines, as by ordinary
seruantes, so that who thinkes himselfe wise
inough to escape their flatteries, him they cros-
byte, who holdes himselfe to rule, to be bitten with
a counterfeyt Apparater, him they rifle, if hee be
not so to bee verst vpon, they haue a foyst or a
nyppe vpon him, and so sting him to the quicke.
Thus he that medles with pitch, cannot but be

6 THE EPISTLE

defiled, and he that acquainteth himselfe or con-
uerseth with any of these Connycatching strum-
pets, cannot but by some way or other bee brought
to confusion : for either hee must hazard his soule,
blemish his good name, loose his goods, light
vppon diseases, or at the least haue been tyed to
the humor of an harlot, whose quiuer is open to
euery arrow, who likes all that have fat purses,
and loues none that are destitute of pence. I
remember a Monke in Diebus illis^ writ his
opinion of the end of an Adulterer, thus :

Quatuor his casibus sine dubio cadet adulter^
Aut hie -pauper erit^ aut hie subito morietur^
Aut cadet in causum qua debet iudice vinci^
Aut aliquod membrum casu veil crimine perdet^

Which I Englished thus:

He that to Harlots lures do yeeld him thrall^
Through sowre misfortune too bad end shall fall :
Or sodaine deaths or beggerie shall him chance^
Or guilt before a ludge his shame inhance :
Or els by fault or fortune he shall leese^
Some member sure escape from one of these.

Seeing then such inconuenience grows from the
caterpillers of the Common-wealth, and that a
multitude of the monsters here about London,
particularly & generally abroad in England, to the
great ouerthrow of many simple men that are

THE EPISTLE 7

inueagled by their flatteries, I thought good not
only to discouer their villanies in a Dialogue, but
also to manifest by an example, howe preiuditiall
their life is, to the state of the land, that such as are
warned by an instance, may learne and looke
before they leape, to that end kind Country-men, I
haue set downe at the ende of the disputation, the
wonderful life of a Curtezin, not a fiction, but a
truth of one that yet Hues not now in an other
forme repentant. In the discourse of whose life,
you shall see how dangerous such truls be to all
estates that be so simple as to trust theyr fained
subtilties: heere shall parents learne, how hurtfull
it is to cocker vp their youth in their follies, and
haue a deepe insight how to bridle their daughters,
if they see them any waies grow wantons, wishing
therfore my labors may be a caueat to my country-
men, to auoyde the companie of such cousoning
Courtezins.

Farewell.

R. G.

ft « mro m~m mw jn m mIdi ram wtw mflj mat ni « 5?ni
ffi «a tuifl mqi ai

ffi p a Qi ifl a fl«_^ m,_,>o M_^ro i»>,_^ 'Q^J '$r-^ 5?-^ 5—^ ^^-^

A disputation between Laurence a Foist

and faire Nan a Traffique, whether a Whore
or a Theefe is most preiuditiall.

Laurence.

FAIRE Nan well met, what newes about
your Vine Court that you looke so blythe,
your cherry cheekes discouers your good
fare, and your braue apparell bewraies a fat purse,
is Fortune now alate growne so fauourable to
Foystes, that your husband hath lighted on some
large purchase, or hath your smooth lookes linckt
in some yong Nouice to sweate for a fauour all the
byte in his Bounge, and to leaue himselfe as many
Crownes as thou hast good conditions, and then
hee shall bee one of Pierce penilesse fraternities
how is it sweet wench, goes the world e on wheeles,
that you tread so daintily on your typtoes?

Nan. Why Laurence are you pleasant or pee-
uish, that you quip with such breefe girdes, thinke
you a quarterne winde cannot make a quicke saile,
that easie lystes cannot make heauy burthens, that
women haue not wiles to compasse crownes as wel
as men, yes & more, for though they be not so
strong in the fists, they bee more ripe in their
wittes, and tis by wit that I Hue and will Hue, in
dispight of that peeuish scholler, that thought with

10 JDISPVTJTION

his conny-catching bookes to haue crosbyt our
trade. Doest thou maruell to see me thus briskt,
fayre wenches cannot want fauours, while the
world is so full of amorous fooles, where can such
girles as my selfe bee blemisht with a threedbare
coat, as long as country Farmers haue full purses,
and wanton Citizens pockets full of pence.

Laur. Truth if fortune so fauour thy husband,
that hee be neither smoakt nor cloyed, for I am
sure all thy brauery comes by his Nipping, Foyst-
ing, and lifting.

Nan. In faith sir no, did I get no more by mine
own wit, then I reap by his purchase, I might both
go bare & penilesse the wholeyere, but mine eyes
are stauls, & my hands lime twigs (elswere I not
worthie the name of a she Connycatcher). Cyrces
had neuer more charms, Calipso more inchant-
ments the Syrens more subtil tunes, the I haue
crafty slightes to inueagle a Conny, and fetch in a
country Farmer. Laurence beleeue mee, you men
are but fooles, your gettings is vncertaine, and yet
you still fish for the gallowes, though by some
great chance you light vppon a good boung, yet
you fast a great while after, whereas, as we mad
wenches haue our tennants (for so I call euerie
simple letcher and amorous Fox) as wel out of
Tearme as in Tearm to bring vs our rentes, alas,
were not my wits and my wanton pranks more
profitable then my husbands foysting, we might

JDISPFTJTION II

often go to bed supperlesse for want of surfetting,
and yet I dare sweare, my husband gets a hun-
dreth pounds a yeare by boungs.

Laur. Why Nan, are you growne so stiffe, to
thincke that your faire lookes can get as much as
our nimble fingers, or that your sacking can gaine
as much as our foysting. no, no. Nan, you are two
bowes downe the wind, our foyst will get more
then twentie the proudest wenches in all London.

Nan, Lye a litle further & giue mee some
roome, what Laurence your toong is too lauish, all
stands vpon proofe, and sith I haue leisure and you
no great busines, as being now when Powles is shut
vp, and all purchasies and Connies in their bur-
rowes, let vs to the Tauerne and take a roome to
our selues, and there for the price of our suppers,
I will proue that women, I meane of our facultie,
a trafficque, or as base knaues tearme vs strumpets,
are more subtill, more dangerous, in the common-
wealth, and more full of w)'les to get crownes,
then the cunningest Foyst, Nip, Lift, Pragges, or
whatsoeuer that Hues at this day.

Laur. Content, but who shall be moderater in
our controuersies, sith in disputing pro &' contra,
betwixt our selues, it is but your yea and my
nay, and so neither of vs will yeeld to others
victories.

Nan. Trust me Laurence, I am so assured of
the conquest, offering so in the strength of mine

12 JDISPFTJTION

owne arguments, that when I haue reasoned, I will
referre it to your iudgement and censure.

Laur. And trust mee as I am an honest man,
I will bee indifferent.

Nan. Oh sweare not so deeply, but let mee first
heare what you can say for your selfe.

Laur. What? why more Nan, then can be
painted out in a great volume, but briefly this, I
need not discribe the lawes of villanie, because
R. G. hath so amply pend them downe in the first
part of Conny-catching, that though I be one of
the facultie, yet I cannot discouer more then hee
hath layde open. Therefore first to the Gentlemen
Foyst, I pray you what finer qualitie? what Art is
more excellent either to trie the ripenes of the wit,
or the agilitie of the hand, then that for him that
wil be maister of his Trade, must passe the proud-
est lugler aliue, the poynts of Leger de maine, he
must haue an eye to spye the boung or pursse, and
then a heart to dare to attempt it, for this by the
way, he that feares the Gallowes shal neuer be good
theefe while he Hues, hee must as the Cat watch
for a Mouse, and walke Powles, Westminster, the
Exchange, and such common haunted places, and
there haue a curious eye to the person, whether he
be Gentleman, Citizen or Farmer, and note, either
where his boung lyes, whether in his hoase or
pockets, and then dogge the partie into a presse
where his staule with heauing and shouing shall

A DISPFTJTION 1 3

so molest him, that hee shall not feele when wee
strip him of his boung, although it bee neuer so fast
or cunningly coucht about him, what poore
Farmer almost can come to plead his case at the
barre, to attend vpon his Law)'ers at the bench,
but looke he neuer so narrowly to it we haue his
pursse, wherin some time there is fat purchase,
twentie or thirtie poundes, and I pray you how
long would one of your Traffiques be earning so
much with your Chamber worke. Besides in
faires and markets, and in the circuites after
Judges, what infinit mony is gotten from honest
meaning men, that either busie about their neces-
sarie affaires, or carelesly looking to their Crownes,
light amongst vs that be foysts, tush wee dissemble
in show, we goe so neat in apparrell, so orderly in
outward appearance, some like Lawyers Clarkes,
others lyke Seruingmen, that attended there about
their maisters businesse, that wee are hardlv
smoakt, versing vpon all men with kinde courtesies
and faire vvordes, and yet being so warily watch-
full, that a good purse cannot be put vp in a faire,
but wee sigh if wee share it not amongst vs, and
though the bookes of Conny-catching hath some-
what hindred vs, and brought many braue foystes
to the haulter, yet some of our Country farmers,
nay of our Gentlemen and Citizens, are so carelesse
in a throng of people, that they shew vs the praie,
and so draw on a theefe, and bequeath vs their

14 JDISPFTJTION

purses, whether we will or no, for who loues wyne
so ill, that hee will not eate grapes if they fall into
his mouth, and who is so base, that if he see a
pocket faire before him, wil not foyst in if he may,
or if foysting will not serue, vse his knife and nip,
for althogh there bee some foysts that will not vse
their kniues, yet I hold him not a perfect worke-
man or maister of his Mysterie, that will not cut
a purse as well as Foyst a pocket, and hazard any
limme for so sweet a gaine as gold, how answere
you me this breefe obiection Nan, can you com-
pare with either our cunning to get our gaines in
purchase.

Nan. And haue you no stronger arguments
goodman Laurence, to argue your excellencie in
villanie but this, then in faith put vp your pipes,
and giue mee leaue to speake, your choplodgicke
hath no great subtiltie for simple, you reason of
foysting, & appropriate that to your selues, to you
men I meane, as though there were not women
Foysts and Nippes, as neat in that Trade as you,
of as good an eye, as fine and nimble a hand, and
of as resolute a heart, yes Laurence, and your good
mistresses in that mystery, for we without like
suspition can passe in your walkes vnder the couler
of simplicitie to Westminster, with a paper in our
hand, as if we were distressed women, that had
some supplication to put vp to the ludges, or some
bill of information to deliuer to our Lawyers, when

A DISPUTATION 15

God wot, we shuffle in for a boung as well as the
best of you all, yea as your selfe Laurence, though
you bee called King of Cutpurses, for though they
smoke you, they will hardly mistrust vs, and sup-
pose our stomacke stand against it to foyst, yet
who can better playe the staule or the shadowe
then wee, for in a thrust or throng if we shoue
hard, who is hee that will not fauour a woman, and
in giuing place to vs, giue you free passage for his
purse. Againe, in the market, when euerie wife
hath almost her hand on her boung, and that they
crie beware the Cutpurse and Conny-catchers,
then I as fast as the best with my hand basket as
mannerly as if I were to buye great store of butter
and egges for prouision of my house, do exclaime
against them with my hand on my purse, and say
the worlde is badde when a woman cannot walke
safely to market for feare of these villanous Cut-
purses, when as the first boung I come to, I either
nip or foyst, or els staule an other while hee hath
stroken, dispatcht and gone, now I pray you
gentle sir, wherin are we inferiour to you in foyst-
ing, and yet this is nothing to the purpose. For
it is one of our most simplest shifts, but yet I pray
you what thinke you when a farmer, gentleman,
or Citizen, come to the Tearme, perhaps hee is
wary of his purse, and watch him neuer so warily,
yet he will neuer be brought to the blow, is it not
possible for vs to pinch him ere hee passe, hee that

1 6 JDISPFTJTION

is most charie of his crownes abroad, and will cry-
ware the Conny-catchers, will not be afraide to
drinke a pinte of wine with a prety wench, and
perhaps goe to a trugging house to ferry out one
for his purpose, then with what cunning we can
feede the simple fop, with what fayre words,
sweete kisses, fained sighes, as if at that instant we
fell in loue with him that we neuer saw before, if
we meet him in an euening in the street, if the
farmer or other whatsoeuer, bee not so forward as
to motion some curtesie to vs, we straight insinuate
into his company, and claime acquaintance of him
by some meanes or other, and if his minde be set
for lust, and the diuell driue him on to match him
selfe with some dishonest wanton, then let him
looke to his purse, for if he do but kisse me in the
streete He haue his purse, for a farwell, although
hee neuer commit any other act at all. I speake
not this onely by my selfe Lawrence, for there bee
a hundreth in London more cunning then my
selfe in this kinde of cunny-catching. But if hee
come into a house then let our trade alone to verse
vpon him, for first we faine ourselues hungry, for
the benefit of the house, although our bellies were
never so ful, arid no doubt the good Pander or
Bawde shee comes foorth like a sober Matron, and
sets store of Gates on the Table, and then I fall
aboord on them, and though I can eate little, yet I
make hauocke of all, and let him be sure euerie

J DlSPyTJTlON 1 7

dish is well saucst, for hee shall pay for a pipping
Pye that cost in the Market four pence, at one of
the Trugging houses xviii. pence, tush what is
daintie if it bee not deare bought, and yet he must
come off for crownes besides, and when I see him
draw to his purse, I note the putting vp of it well,
and ere wee part, that worlde goes hard if I foyst
him not of all that hee hath, and then suppose the
woorst, that he misse it, am I so simply acquainted
or badly prouided, that I haue not a friend, which
with a few terrible oathes and countenance set, as
if he were the proudest Souldado that euer bare
armes against Don lohn of Austria^ will face him
quite out of his money, and make him walke lyke
a woodcocke homeward by weeping crosse, and so
buy repentance with all the crownes in his purse.
How say you to this Lawrence, whether are
women Foystes inferiour to you in ordinarie
cousonage or no.

Laur. Excellently well reasoned Nan, thou hast
told mee wonders, but wench though you be wily
and strike often, your blowes are not so big as ours.

Nan. Oh but note the subiect of our disputa-
tion, and that is this, which are more subtill and
daungerous in the Common-wealth, and to that I
argue.

Laur. I and beshrow me, but you reason
quaintly, yet wil I proue your wittes are not so ripe
as ours, nor so readie to reach into the subtiltics of

1 8 J DISPFTJTION

kinde cousonage, and though you appropriate to
your selfe the excellencie of Conny-catching, and
that you doo it with more Art then we men do,
because of your painted flatteries and sugred
words, that you florish rethorically Hke nettes to
catch fooles, yet will I manifest with a merry in-
stance, a feate done by a Foyst, that exceeded any
that euer was done by any mad wench in England.

A pleasant Tale of a Country Farmer^ that tooke it
in scorn to haue his purse cut or drawne from
him, and how a Foyst serued him.

IT was told me for a truth that not long since
here in London, there laie a country Farmar,
with diuers of his neighbours about Law matters,
amongst whom, one of them going to Westminster-
Hall, was by a Foyst stript of all the pence in his
purse, and comming home, made great complaint
of his misfortune, some lamented his losse, and
others exclaimed against the Cutpurses, but this
Farmer he laught loudly at the matter, and said
such fooles as could not keep their purses no surer,
were well serued, and for my part quoth hee, I so
much scorne the Cutpurses, that I would thanke
him hartily that would take paines to foyst mine,
well sales his neighbor, then you may thank me,
sith my harmes learnes you to beware, but if it be
true, that many things fall out between the cup and

J DISPFTATION 19

the lip, you know not what hands Fortune may
light in your owne lap, tush quoth the Farmar,
heeres fortie pounds in this purse in gold, the
proudest Cutpurse in England win it and weare it,
as thus he boasted, there stood a subtill Foyst by
and heard all, smiling to himselfe at the folly of the
proude Farmar, and vowed to haue his purse or
venture his necke for it, and so went home and
bewrayed it to a crue of his companions, who
taking it in dudgion, that they should be put down
by a Pesant, met either at Laurence Pickerings, or
at Lambeth: let the Blackamore take heede I name
him not, least an honorable neighbor of his frowne
at it, but wheresoeuer they met they held a con-
uocation, and both consulted and concluded all by
a general! consent, to bend all their wits to bee
possessers of this Farmers Boung, and for the
execution of this their vow, they haunted about
the Inne where he laie, and dogd him into diuers
places, both to Westminster Hall and other places,
and yet could neuer light vpon it, he was so watch-
full and smoakt them so narrowly, that all their
trauell was in vaine, at last one of them fledde to
a more cunning pollicie, and went and learnde the
mans name and where hee dwelt, and then hyed
him to the Counter and entered an Action against
him of trespasse, damages two hundreth pounds,
when hee had thus done, hee feed two Sargiants,
and carried them downe with him to the mans

20 A DISPFTJTION

lodging, wishing them not to arrest him till he
commaunded them, well agreed they were, and
downe to the Farmers lodging they came, where
were a crue of Foystes, whom he had made priuy
to the end of his practise, stood wayting, but he
tooke no knowledge at all of them, but walkt vp
and downe, the Farmer came out and went to
Powles, the Cutpurse bad staie, and would not yet
suffer the Officers to meddle with him, til he came
into the West end of Paules Churchyard, and there
he willed them to do their Office, and they step-
ping to the Farmer arrested him, the Farmer
amazed, beeing amongest his neighbors, asked the
Sargiant at whose suite hee was troubled, at whose
suite soeuer it be, sayd one of the Cutpurses that
stood by, you are wrongd honest man, for hee hath
arested you here in a place of priuiledge, where the
Sherifes nor the Offices haue nothing to do with
you, and therefore you are vnwise if you obey him,
tush sales an other Cutpurse, though the man were
so simple of himselfe, yet shall hee not offer the
Church so much wrong, as by yeelding to the
Mace, to imbollish Paules libertie, and therefore I
will take his part, and with that hee drew his
swoord, another tooke the man and haled him
away, the Officer he stooke hard to him, and sayd
hee was his true prisoner, and cride Clubbes, the
Prentises arose, and there was a great hurly burly,
for they tooke the Officers part, so that the poore

J DISPP'TJTION 21

Farmer was mightily turmoyld amongst them,
and almost haled in peeces, whilest thus the strife
was, one of the Foystes had taken his purse away,
and was gone, and the Officer carried the man
away to a Tauerne, for he swore he knew no such
man, nor any man that he was indebted too, as then
they satte drinking of a quart of wine, the Foyst
that had caused him to be arrested, sent a note by
a Porter to the Officer that he should release the
Farmer, for he had mistaken the man, which note
the Officer shewed him, and bad him pay his fees
and go his waies: the poore Country-man was
content with that, and put his hand in his pocket
to feele for his purse, and God wot there was none,
which made his heart far more cold then the arrest
did, and with that fetching a great sigh he sayd,
alas maisters I am vndone, my purse in this traie
is taken out of my pocket and ten pounds in gold
in it besides white money. Indeed sayd the Sar-
giant, commonly in such brawles the cutpurses be
busie, and I pray God the quarell was not made
vpon purpose by the pickpockets, well sales his
neighbor, who shall smile at you now, the other
day when I lost my purse you laught at mee, the
Farmer brooke all, and sat malecontent, and
borowed money of his neighbors to paye the
Sargiant, and had a learning I beleeue euer after
to braue the cutpurse.

How say you to this mistresse Nan, was it not

22 A DISPFTJriON

well done, what choyce witted wench of your
facultie, or the Foyst, hath euer done the like,
tush Nan, if we begin once to apply our wittes,
all your inuentions are follies towards ours.

Nan. You say good goodman Laurence, as
though your subtilties were sodaine as womens
are, come but to the olde Prouerbe, and I put you
downe, Tis as hard to finde a Hare without a
Muse, as a woman without a scuse, and that wit
that can deuise a cunnyng lye, can plot the intent
of deep villanies. I grant this fetch of the foyst
was prettie, but nothing in respect of that we
wantons can compasse, and therefore to quit your
tale with an other, heare what a mad wench of my
profession, did alate to one of your facultie.

A passing pleasant Tale, how a whore Conny-catcht

a Foyst.

THERE came out of the country a Foyst, to
trie his experience, here in Westminster Hall,
and strooke a hand or two, but the diuell a snap hee
would giue to our citizen Foystes, but wrought
warily, and could not bee fetcht off by no meanes,
and yet it was knowne he had some twentie
poundes about him, but hee had planted it so
cunningly in his doublet, that it was sure inough
for finding. Although the cittie Foyst layde all
the plottes they could, as well by discoueryng

A DISPFTJTION 23

him to the Gaylors as otherwayes, yet hee was so
pollitique, that they could not verse vpon him by
any meanes, which greeued them so, that one day
at a dinner, they held a counsaile amongst them-
selues how to couzen him, but in vain, til at last
a good wench that sat by, vndertooke it, so they
would sweare to let her haue all that hee had, they
confirmed it sollemplv, and she put it in practise
thus, she subtillv insinuated her selfe into this
Foysts company, who seeing her a prettie wench,
began after twise meeting to waxe familiar with
her, and to question about a nights lodging, after
a little nyce louing & bidding she was content for
her supper and what els hee would of curtesie
bestowe vppon her, for she held it scorne shee
sayd, to set a salarie price on her bodie, the Foyst
was gladde of this, and yet hee woulde not trust
her, so that hee put no more but tenne shillings in
his pocket, but hee had aboue twentie poundes
twilted in his doublet, well to be short, suppertime
came, and thither comes my gentle Foyst, who
makyng good cheere, was so eagar of his game,
that hee would straight to bedde by the leaue of
dame Bawde, who had her fee too, and there hee
laye till about midnight, when three or foure old
Hacksters whom she had prouided vpon purpose
came to the doore and rapt lustely, who is there
sayes the Bawde looking out of the window, marry
say they, such a lustice, and named one about the

24 A DISPFTJTION

Cittie that is a mortall enemy to Cutpurses, who Is
come to search your house for a lesuite and other
suspected persons, alas sir sayes shee I haue none
heere, well quoth they, oape the doore, I will sayes
shee, and with that shee came into the Foystes
Chamber, who heard all this, and was afraide it
was some search for him, so that hee desired the
Bawde to helpe him that hee might not be scene,
why then quoth shee, steppe into this Closet, hee
whipt in hastelyand neuer remembred hiscloathes,
she lockt him in safe, and then let in the crue of
Rakehels, who making as though they searcht
euerye chamber, came at last into that where his
Lemman laie, and asked her what shee was, shee
as if she had been afrayde, desired their wor-
shippes to bee good to her, shee was a poore
Countrey mayde come vp to the Tearme, and who
is that quoth they, that was in bedde with you,
none forsooth sales shee, no sales one, that is a lye,
here is the print of two, and besides, wheresoeuer
the Foxe is, here is his skinne, for this is his doub-
let and hoase, then downe she falles vppon her
knees, and sales indeed it was her husband, your
husband quoth they, nay that cannot be so Minion,
for why then wold you haue denied him at the first,
with that one of them turnde to the Bawd, and did
question with her what he was and where hee was,
truly sir sayes she, they came to my house and sayd
they were man and wife, and for my part I know

A DISPFTJTION 25

them for no other, and hee being afrayd, is indeed
to confesse the troth, shut vp in the Closset. No
doubt if it please your worships saies one rakehell,
I warrant vou hee is some notable Cutpurse or
pickpocket, that is afrayd to shew his face, come
and open the Closet, and let vs looke on him, nay
sir saies she not for to night I beseech your worship
carry no man out of my house, I will giue my word
hee shall bee foorth comming to morrow morning,
your word dame Bawde saies one, tis not worth a
straw, you huswife that saies ye are his wife, ye
shall go with vs, and for him that we may be sure
hee may not start. He take his doublet, hoase and
cloake, and tomorrow He send them to him by one
of my men, were there a thousand poundes in
them, there shall not be a peny diminisht, the
whore kneeled downe on her knees and fayned to
cry pittifully, and desired the lustice which was
one of her companions, not to carry her to prison,
yes huswife quoth he, your mate and you shall not
tarry togither in one house, that you may make
your tales all one, and therefore bring her away,
and after ye dame Bawde see you lend him no
other cloaths, for I wil send his in the morning
betimes, and come you with him to answer for
lodging him. I will sir saies she, and so away goes
the wench & her companions laughing, and left
the Bawde and the Foyst, assoone as the Bawde
thought good, shee vnlockt the Closet and curst

26 A DISPVTATION

the time that euer they came in her house, now
quoth shee, here wil be a fayre adoo, how will you
answere for your selfe, I feare mee I shall be in
danger of the Cart, well quoth he, to be short, I
would not for fortie poundes come afore the
Justice, marry no more would I quoth she, let me
shift if you were conueyed hence, but I haue not a
rag of mans apparell in the house, why quoth he,
seeing it is early morning, lend me a blanket to put
about me, and I wil scape to a friends house of
mine, then leaue me a pawne quoth the Bawde,
alas I haue none saies he but this ring on my
finger, why that quoth she, or tarry while the
Justice comes, so he gaue it her, tooke the blanket
and went his waies, whether I know not, but to
some friends house of his. This was this wily
Foyst by the wit of a subtill wench, cunningly
stript of all that hee had and turnde to grasse to
get more fat.

Nan. How say you to this deuice Lawrence,
was it not excellent? What thihke you of a
womans wit if it can woorke such woonders.

Laur. Marry I thinke my mother was wiser
then all the honest women of the parish besides.

Nan. Why then belike shee was of our facultie,
and a Matrone of my profession, nimble of her
handes, quicke of toong, and light of her taile, I
should haue put in sir reuerence, but a foule word
is good inough for a filthie knaue.

J DISP^TJTION 27

Laur. I am glad you are so pleasant Nan, you
were not so merry when you went to Dunstable,
but indeede I must needes confesse that women
Foysts if they be carefull in their trades are (though
not so common) yet more daungerous then men
Foystes, women haue quicke wittes, as they haue
short heeles, and they can get with pleasure, what
wee fish for with danger, but now giuing you the
bucklers at this weapon, let me haue a blow with
you at another.

A^an. But before you induce any more argu-
ments, by your leaue in a litle by talke, you know
Laurence that though you can foyst, nyp, prig,
lift, courbe, and vse the blacke Art, yet you cannot
crosbite without the helpe of a woman, which cros-
biting now adaies is growne to a maruellous profit-
able exercise, for some cowardly knaues that for
feare of the gallowes, leaue nipping and foysting,
become Crosbites, knowing there is no danger
therein but a litle punishment, at the most the
Pillorie, and that is saued with a litle Vnguantum
Aureum^ as for example, lacke Rhoades is now a
reformed man, whatsoeuer he hath been in his
vouth, now in his latter dales hee is growne a
correcter ot vice, for whom soeuer hee takes suspi-
tious with his wife, I warrant you he sets a sure fine
on head, though he hath nothing for his mony but
a bare kisse, and in this Art wee poore wenches are
your surest props and stale. If you will not beleeue

28 A DISPFTJTION

mee, aske poore A. B. in Turnmill street, what a
sawcie Signer there is, whose purblind eyes can
scarcely discerne a Lowse from a Flea, and yet hee
hath such insight into the mysticall Trade of Cros-
biting, that hee can furnish his boord, with a
hundreth poundes worth of Plate, I doubt the
sandeyde Asse, will kicke like a Westerne Pugge:
if I rubbe him on the gaule, but tis no matter if
hee finde himselfe toucht and stirre, although hee
boastes of the chiefe of the Clargies fauour, yet
He so set his name out, that the boyes at Smithfield
barres shall chalke him on the backe for a Crosbite,
tush you men are foppes in fetching nouices ouer
the coales, hearken to me Lawrence, He tell thee a
woonder. Not far off from Hogsdon, perhaps it
was there, and if you thinke I lye, aske master
Richard Chot, and maister Richard Strong, two
honest gentlemen that can witnesse as well as I,
this proofe of a womans witte. There dweltt here
somtimes a good auncient Matron that had a faire
wench to her daughter, as yong and tender as a
morrow masse priests Lemman, her shee set out to
sale in her youth, and drew on sundrie to bee suters
to her daughter, some wooers, and some speeders,
yet none married her, but of her bewtie they m.ade
a profite, and inueagled all, till they had spent
vpon her what they had, and then forsooth, she
and her yoong Pigion turne them out of doores
like prodigall children, she was acquainted with

A DISPVTATION 29

Dutch & French, Italian & Spaniard as wel as
English, & at last, as so often the Pitcher goes to
the brooke that it comes broken home, my faire
daughter was hit on the master vaine and gotten
with childe, now the mother to colour this matter
to saue her daughters marriage, begins to weare a
Cushion vnder her owne kirtle, and to faine her
selfe with child, but let her daughter passe as
though she ailde nothing, when the fortie weekes
were come, & that my young mistres must needs
cry out forsooth, this olde B. had gotten huswifes
answerable to her selfe, and so brought her daugh-
ter to bed, and let her go vp and downe the house,
and the old Croane lay in child bed as though shee
had been deliuered, and sayd the childe was hers,
and so saued her daughters scape, was not this a
wittie wonder maister Lawrence, wrought by an
olde Witch, to haue a childe in her age, and make
a yoong whoore seeme an honest virgin, tush this
is litle to the purpose, if I should recite all, how
many shee had cousoned vnder the pretence of
marriage, v/ell poore plaine Signer^ See^ you were
not stiffe inough for her, although it cost you many
crownes and the losse of your seruice. lie say no
more, perhaps she will amend her maners. Ah
Lawrence how lyke you of this geare, in Cros-
byting wee put you downe, for God wot it is little
lookt too in and about London, and yet I may say
to thee, many a good Citizen is Crosbyt in the

30 A DISPFTJTION

yeare by odde Walkers abroad, I heard some
named the other day as I was drinking at the
Swanne in Lambeth Marshe, but let them aloane,
tis a foule byrd that defiles the owne neast, and it
were a shame for me to speake against any good
wenches or boon Companions, that by their wittes
can wrest mony from a Churle, I feare me R. G.
will name them too soone in his blacke booke,
a pestilence on him, they say, hee hath there
set downe my husbandes pettigree, and yours
too Lawrence, if he do it, I feare me your
brother in law Bull, is like to be troubled with
you both.

Laur. I know not what to say to him Nan, hath
plagued mee alreadie, I hope hee hath done with
mee, and yet I heard say, hee would haue about at
my Nine hoales, but leauing him as an enemy of
our trade, againe to our disputation. I cannot deny
Nan, but you haue set down strange Presidents of
womens preiuditial wits, but yet though you be
Crosbites, Foysts, and Nips, yet you are not good
Lifts, which is a great helpe to our facultie, to
filche a boulte of Satten or Veluet.

Nan. Stay thee a word, I thought thou hadst
spoken of R. B. of Long Lane and his wife, take
heed they be parlous folks and greatly acquainted
with keepers and Gaylers, therefore meddle not
you with them, for I heare say, R. G. hath sworne
in despight of the brasill staffe, to tell such a fowle

JDISPTTJTION 31

Tale of him in his blacke Booke, that it will cost
him a daungerous loynt.

Laur. Nan, Nan, let R. G. beware, for had not
an ill fortune falne to one of R. B. his friends, he
could take little harme.

Nan. Who is that Lawrence ?

Laur. Nay I will not name him.

Nan. Why then I prythie what misfortune
befell him?

Laur. Marrv^ Nan, hee was strangely washt
alate by a French Barbar, and had all the haire of
his face miraculously shauen off by the Sythe of
Gods vengeance, in so much that some sayd he had
that he had not, but as hap was, how soeuer his
haire fell off, it stoad him in some stead when the
brawle was alate, for if hee had not cast off his
beard and so being vnknowne, it had cost him
some knockes, but it fell out to the best.

Nan. The more hard fortune that hee had such
ill hap, but hastie iournies breed dangerous
sweates, and the Phisitians call it the Ale Peria^
yet omitting all this, againe to where you left.

Laur. You haue almost brought me out of mv
matter, but I was talking about the Lift, com-
mending what a good quallitie it was, and how
hurtfull it was, seeing we practise it in Mercers
shops, with Haberdashers of small wares. Haber-
dashers of Hattes and Cappes, amongst Mar-
chaunt Taylors for Hoase and Doublets, and in

32 A DISPFTJTION

suche places getting much gains by Lifting, when
there is no good purchase abroad by Foysting.

Nan. Suppose you are good at the lift, who be
more cunning the we women, in that we are more
trusted, for they little suspect vs, and we haue as
close conueyance as you men, though you haue
Cloakes, we haue skirts of gownes, handbaskets,
the crownes of our hattes, our plackardes, and for
a need, false bagges vnder our smockes, wherein
we can conuey more closely then you.

Laur. I know not where to touch you, you are
so wittie in your answeres, and haue so many
starting hoales, but let mee bee pleasant with you
a little, what say you to priggin or horse stealing,
I hope you neuer had experience in that facultie.

Nan. Alas simple sot, yes and more shift to
shunne the gallowes then you.

Laur. Why tis impossible.

Nan. In faith sir no, and for proofe, 1 will put
you downe with a storie of a madde, merry, little,
dapper, fine wench, who atSpilsbyFayre had three
horse of her owne or an other mans to sell, as shee
her husband and an other good fellow, walkt them
vp and downe the faire, the owner came and appre-
hended them all, and clapt them in prison, the
laylor not keeping them close prisoners, but letting
them lye all in a Chamber, by her wit she so in-
structed them in a formall tale, that she saued all
their liues thus. Being brought the next morrow

after their apprehension, before the lustices, they
examined the men how they came by those horses,
and they confest they met her with them, but
where shee had them they knewe not, then was my
prettie peace brought in, who being a handsome
Trul, blusht as if she had been full of grace, and
being demanded where she had the horses, made
this answere, may it please your worships, this man
being my husband, playing the vnthrift as many
more haue done, was absent from mee for a quarter
of a yeare, which greeued me not a little, insomuch
that desirous to see him, and hauing intelligence
he wold be at Spilsby faire, I went thither euen for
pure loue of him on foote, and beeing within some
tenne myles of the Towne, I waxed passing weary
and rested me often and grew very faynt, at last
there came rv'ding by me a Seruingman in a blew
coat, with three horses tyed one at anothers tayle,
which he led as I gest to sell at the faire, the
Seruingman seeing mee so tyred, tooke pitie on
me, and asked me if I would ride on one of his
emptie horses, for his owne would not beare
double, I thankt him hartily, and at the next hill
got vp, and roade till wee came to a Towne within
three miles of Spilsby, where the Seruingman
alighted at a house, and bad me ride on afore and
he would presently ouertake mee, well forward I
road halfe a myle, and looking behinde mee could
see no bodie, so being alone, my heart began to

34 A DISPFTJTION

rise, and I to thinke on my husband, as I had ridde
a little farther, looking downe a lane, I saw two
men comming lustily vp as if they were weary, &
marking them earnestly, I saw one of them was my
husband, which made my heart as light as before it
was sad, so staying for them, after a little vnkinde
greeting betwixt vs, for I chid him for his vnthrifti-
nesse, he asked me where I had the horse, and I
tolde him how curteously the Seruingman had vsed
me, why then saies hee, stale for him, nay quoth I,
lets ryde on, and get you two vp on the emptie
horses, for he will ouertake vs ere we come at the
Towne, hee rydes on a stout lustie yoong gelding,
so forward wee went, and lookt often behinde vs,
but our Seruingman came not, at last we comming
to Spilsby alighted, & broake our fast, and tied our
horses at the doore, that if he passed by, seeing
them, hee might call in, after wee had broake our
fast, thinking hee had gone some other way, wee
went into the horse faire, and there walkt our
horses vp and downe to meete with the Seruing-
man, not for the intent to sell them. Now may it
please your worship, whether hee had stolne the
horses from this honest man or no, I knowe not,
but alas, simply I brought them to the horse faire,
to let him that deliuered me them haue them
againe, for I hope your worships doth imagine, it
I had stolne them as it is suspected, I would neuer
haue brought them into so publicke a place to sell.

A DISPFTJTION 35

yet if the law bee any way dangerous for the
foolish deed because I know not the Seruingman,
it is, I must bide the punishment, and as guiltlesse
as any heere, and so making a low courtsie shee
ended. The lustice holding vp his hand and
wondring at the womans wit that had cleared her
husband and his friend, and saued her selfe with-
out compasse of law. How like you of this
Lawrence, cannot we wenches prigge well.

Laur. By God Nan, I thincke I shall bee faine
to giue you the bucklars.

Nan. Alas good Lawrence, thou art no Logi-
tian, thou canst not reason for thy selfe, nor hast
no wittie arguments to draw me to an exigent, and
therefore giue mee leaue at large to reason for this
supper, remember the subiect of our disputation,
is this positiue question, whether whores ortheeues
are most preiuditiall to the Commonwealth, alas,
you poore theeues do only steale and purloine from
men, and the harme you do is to imbollish mens
goods, and bring them to pouertie, this is the only
end of mens theeuery, and the greatest preiudice
that growes from robbing or filching, so much do
we by our theft, and more by our lecherie, for
what is the end of whoredome but consuming of
goods and begger\', and besides perpetuall infamie,
we bring yoong youthes to ruine and vtter de-
struction, I pray you Lawrence whether had a
Marchants sonne hauing wealthie parents, better

36 A DISPFTJTION

light vpon a whoore then a Cutpurse, the one only
taking his money, the other bringing him to vtter
confusion, for if the Foyst light vpon him or the
Conny-catcher, he looseth at the most some hun-
dreth poundes, but if hee fall into the companie of
a whoore, shee flatters him, shee inueagles him,
shee bewitcheth him, that hee spareth neither
goods nor landes to content her, that is onely in
loue with his coyne, if he be married, hee forsakes
his wife, leaues his children, despiseth his friendes,
onely to satisfie his lust with the loue of a base
whoore, who when he hath spent all vpon her and
hee brought to beggerie, beateth him out lyke the
Prodigall childe, and for a small reward, brings
him if to the fairest ende to beg, if to the second, to
the gallowes, or at the last and worst, to the
Pockes, or as preiuditiall diseases. I pray you
Lawrence when any of you come to your con-
fession at Tyborne, what is your last sermon that
you make, that you were brought to that wicked
and shamefull ende by following of harlots, for to
that end doo you steale to maintaine whoores, and
to content their bad humors. Oh Lawrence enter
into your owne thoughts, and thinke what the
faire wordes of a wanton will do, what the smiles of
a strumpet will driue a man to act, into what
ieopardie a man will thrust himselfe for her that
he loues, although for his sweete villanie, he be
brought to loathsome leprosie, tush Lawrence they

A DISPUTATION 37

say the Poxe came from Naples, some from Spaine,
some from France, but whersoeuer it first grew, it
is so surely now rooted in England, that by S.
{Syth) it may better be called A Morbus Anglicus
then Galliciis^ and I hope you will graunt, all these
Frenche fauours grewe from whoores, besides in
my high louing or rather creeping, I mean where
men and women do robbe togither, there alwaies
the woman is most bloodie, for she ahvayes vrgeth
vnto death, and though the men wold only satisfie
themselues with the parties coyne, yet shee endeth
her theft in blood, murthering parties so deeply
as she is malicious. I hope gentle Lawrence you
cannot contradict these reasons they bee so openly
manifestly probable. For mine owne part, I hope
you doo not imagine but I haue had some friendes
besides poore George my husband, alas, hee
knowes it, and is content lyke an honest simple
suffragan, to bee corriual with a number of other
good companions, and I haue made many a good
man, I meane a man that hath a housholde, for the
loue of mee to goe home and beate his poore wife,
when God wotte I mocke him for the money hee
spent, and hee had nothing for his pence, but the
waste beleauings of others beastlv labours. Law-
rence, Lawrence, if Concubines could inueagle
Salomon, if Dalilah could betraie Sampson, then
wonder not if we more nice in our wickednes then
a thousand such Dalilahs, can seduce poore yoong

38 A DISPFTJTION

Nouices to their vtter destructions. Search the
Gayles, there you shall heare complaintes of
whooreSj looke into the Spittles and Hospitalles,
there you shall see men diseased of the Frenche
Marbles, giuing instruction to others that are sayd
to beware of whoores, bee an Auditor or eare
witnesse at the death of any theefe, and his last
Testament is, Take heed of a whoore, I dare
scarce speake of Bridewell because my shoulders
tremble at the name of it, I haue so often deserued
it, yet looke but in there, and you shall heare poore
men with their handes in their Piggen hoales crye,
Oh fie vpon whoores, when Fouler giues them the
terrible lash, examine beggars that lye lame by the
highway, and they say they came to that miserie by
whoores, some threedbare citizens that from
Marchants and other good trades, growe to bee
base Infourmers and Knightes ot the Poste, crye
out whe they dine with Duke Humfrey. Oh what
wickednes comes from whoores, Prentises that
runnes from their maisters, cryes out vpon
whoores. Tush Lawrence, what enormities pro-
ceedes more in the Common-wealth then from
whooredome. But sith tis almost suppertime, and
myrth is the friend to digestion, I meane a little to
bee pleasaunt, I praie you how many badde pro-
fittes againe growes from whoores. Bridewell
woulde haue verie fewe Tenants, the Hospitall
would want Patientes, and the Surgians much

A DISPUTATION 39

woorke, the Apothecaries would haue surphaling
water and Potato rootes lye deade on theyr handes,
the Paynters coulde not dispatche and make away
theyr Vermiglion, it tallowe faced whoores vsde it
not for their cheekes, how should sir lohns Broades
men doo if wee were not ? why Lawrence the Gaily
would bee moord and the blewe Boore so leane,
that he would not be mans meate, if we of the
Trade were not to supply his wants, doo you
thinke in conscience the Peacocke could burnish
his faire tayle, were it not the whore of Babilon
and such like, makes him lustie with crownes, no
no, though the Talbot hath bitten some at the
game, yet new fresh huntsmen shake the she crue
out of the cupples. What should I say more
Lawrence, the Suberbes should haue a great misse
of vs, and Shordish wold complaine to dame Anne
a Cleare, if wee of the sisterhood should not vphold
her iollitie, — who is that Lawrence comes in to heare
our talke, Oh tis the boy Nan that tels vs supper
is readie, why then Lawrence what say you to me?
haue I not prooued that in foysting and nipping
we excell you, that there is none so great in-
conuenience in the Common wealth, as growes
from whores, first for the corrupting of youth,
infecting of age, for breeding of brawles, whereof
ensues murther, insomuch that the ruine of many
men comes from vs, and the fall of many youthes
of good hope, if they were not seduced by vs, doo

G

40 A DISPFTJTION

proclaime at Tyborne, that wee be the meanes of
their miserie, you men theeues touch the bodie
and wealth, but we ruine the soule, and indanger
that which is n-iore pretious then the worldes trea-
sure, you make worke onely for the gallowes, we
both for the gallowes and the diuel, I and for the
Surgian too, that some Hues like loathsome laizers,
and die with the French Marbles. Whereupon
I conclude, that I haue wonne the supper.

Laur. I confesse it Nan, for thou hast tolde mee
such wonderous villanies, as I thought neuer could
haue been in women, I meane of your profession,
why you are Crocodiles when you weepe. Basilisks
when you smile, Serpents when you deuise, and
the diuels cheefest broakers to bring the world to
distruction. And so Nan lets sit downe to our
meate and be merry.

THUS Country men, you haue heard the dis-
putation between these two cousoning com-
panions, wherein I haue shakte out the notable
villany of whores, although mistresse Nan this
good Oratresse, hath sworne to weare a long
Hamborough knife to stabbe mee, and all the crue
haue protested my death, and to prooue they ment
good earnest, they belegard me about in the Saint
lohns head within Ludgate beeing at supper, there
were some fourteene or fifteene of them met, and

A DISPFTJTION 41

thought to haue made that the fatall night of my
ouerthrowe, but that the courteous Cittizens and
Apprentises tooke my part, and so two or three of
them were carr^'ed to the Counter, although a
Gentleman in my company was sore hurt. I cannot
deny but thev beginne to waste away about
London, and Tyborne (since the setting out of my
booke) hath eaten vp many of them, and I will
plague them to the extreamitie, let them doe what
thev dare with their bilbowe blades, I feare them
not: and to giue them their last adue, looke shortly
Countrimen for a Phamphet against them, called
The blacke Booke, contayning foure newe Lawes
neuer spoken of yet. The creeping Law of pett}'
theeues, that rob about the Suburbes. The lymitting
Lawe, discoursing the orders of such as followe
ludges, in their circuites, and goe about from
Fayre to Fayre. The lugging Law, wherein I will
set out the disorders at Nyneholes and Ryfling,
how they are onely for the benefite of the Cut-
purses. The stripping Lawe, wherein I will lay
open the lewde abuses of sundry^ laylors in Eng-
land. Beside, you shall see there what houses there
bee about the Suburbes and townes ende, that are
receyuers of Cut purses stolne goods. Lifts, and
such like. And lastly, looke for a Bed-roll or
Catalogue, of all the names of the Foystes, Nyps,
Lifts, and Priggars, in and about London: and
although some say, I dare not doe it, yet I will

42 A DISPFTJTION

shortly set it abroach, and whosoeuer I name or.
touch, if hee thinke himselfe greeued, I will aun-
swere him before the Honourable priuie Counsayle.

The conuersion of an English
Courtizan.

SITH to discouer my parentage, woulde double
the griefe of my lyuing Parents, and reuiue in
them, the memory of my great amisse, and that my
vntoward fall, would be a dishonour to the house
from whence I came. Sith to manifest y« place of
my birth, would be a blemish (through my beastly
life so badly misledde) to the Shyre where I was
borne: sith to discourse my name, might be holden
a blot in my kindreds browe, to haue a sinew in
their stocke of so little grace. I will conceale my
parents, kin, and Country, and shroude my name
with silence, least enuie myght taunt others for my
wantonnesse. Knowe therefore, I was borne about
threescore miles from London, of honest and
welthy parents, who had many children, but I
their onely daughter, and therefore the lewell
wherein they most delighted, and more, the
youngest of all, and therefore the more fauoured:
for beeing gotten in the wayning of my parents
age, they doted on me aboue the rest, and so set
theyr harts the more on fire. I was the fairest of all,
and yet not more beautifull then I was witty, in so

J DISPFTJTION 43

much that beeing a pretty Parrat, I had such
quaint conceipts, and witty words in my mouth,
that the neighbours said, I was too soone wise, to
be long olde. Woulde to God, eyther the Prouerbe
had been authenticall, or their sayings prophecies,
then had I by death in my nonage, buried many
blemishes that my riper yeeres brought me to. For
the extreme loue of my parents, was the very
efficient cause of my folHes, resembling heerin the
nature of the Ape, that euer killeth that young one
which he loueth most, with embracing it to
feruetly. So my father and mother, but she most
of all, although he to much, so cockered me vp in
my wantonnes, that my wit grew to the worst, and
I waxed vpward with the ill weedes: what soeuer
r dyd, were it neuer so bad, might not be found
fault withall, my Father would smyle at it and say,
twas but the tricke of a child, and my Mother
allowed of my vnhappy parts, alluding to this
prophane and olde prouerbe, an vntowarde gyrle
makes a good Woman.

But now I find, in sparing the rod, they hated
the chyld, that ouer kind fathers, make vnruly
daughters. Had they bent the wand while it had
beene greene, it woulde haue beene plyant, but I,
ill growne in my yeeres, am almost remediles. The
Hawk that is most perfect for the flight and will,
seldome proueth hagarde, and children that are
vertuously nurtured in youth, will be honestly

44 A DISPFTJTION

natured in age: fie vpon such as say, young Saints,
olde deuils, it is no doubt a deuillish and damnable
saying, for what is not bent in the Cradle, will
hardly be bowed in the Sadie. My selfe am an
instance, who after I grew to be sixe yeeres olde,
was sette to Schoole, where I profited so much
that I writ and read excellently well, playd vpon
the virginals. Lute & Cytron, and could sing
prick-song at the first sight : in so much, as by that
time I was twelue yeeres olde, I was holden for the
most faire, and best qualitied young girle in all
that Countrey, but with this, bewailed of my
wel-wishers, in that my parents suffered me to be
so wanton.

But they so tenderly affected mee, and were so
blinded with my excellent quallities, that they had
no insight into my ensuing follies. For I growing
to be thirteene yeere old, feeling the rayne of
liberty loose on myne owne necke, began with the
wanton Heyfer, to ayme at mine own wil, and to
measure content, by the sweetnes of mine owne
thoughts, in so much, that pryde creeping on, I
beganne to prancke my selfe with the proudest,
and to holde it in disdaine, that any in the Parish,
should exceede me in brauery. As my apparrell
was costly, so I grew to be licencious, and to de-
light to be lookt on, so that I haunted and fre-
quented all feasts and weddings, & other places of
merry meetings, where, as I was gazed on of many,

A DISFVTATION 45

so I spared no glaunces to suruiew all with a
curious eye-fauour: I obserued Quids rule right:
Spectatum veniunt^ veniunt spectentur vt ipse.

I went to see & be seene, and deckt my selfe in
the highest degree of brauerie, holding it a glory
when I was wayted on with many eyes, to make
censure of my birth. Beside, I was an ordinary
dauncer, and grewe in that quality so famous,
that I was noted as the chiefest thereat in all the
Country, yea, and to soothe me vp in these follies,
my Parents tooke a pride in my dauncing, which
afterward prooued my ouerthrow, and their hart
breakinsf.

Thus as an vnbridled Colte, I carelesly led
foorth my youth, and wantonly spent the flower of
my yeeres, holding such Maidens as were modest,
fooles, and such as were not as willfully wanton
as my selfe, puppies, ill brought vppe and without
manners, growing on in yeeres, as tyde nor tyme
tarrieth no man, I began to waxe passion-proud,
and think her not worthy to lyue y' was not a
little in loue, that as diuers young men began to
fauour me for my beautie, so I beganne to censure
of some of them partially, and to delight in the
multitude of many wooers, beeing ready to fall
from the Tree, before I was come to the perfection
of a blossome, which an Vnckle of myne seeing,
who was my Mothers brother, as carefull of my
welfare as nie to me in kinne, finding fit oportunity

46 A DISPFTJTION

to talke with mee, gaue mee this wholesome
exhortation.

A watch-word to wanton Maidens.

COZEN, I see the fayrest Hawke hath often-
times the sickest feathers, that y^ hotest day
hath the most sharpest thunders, the brightest
sunne, the most suddaine showre, & the youngest
Virgins, the most daungerous fortunes, I speake
as a kinsman, and wish as a friend, the blossome of
a Maidens youth, (such as your selfe) hath attend-
ing vpon it many frosts to nyp it, and many cares
to consume it, so that if it be not carefully lookt
vnto, it will perrish before it come to any perfec-
tion.

A Virgins honour, consisteth not onely in the
gyfts of Nature, as to be fayre and beautifuU,
though they bee fauours that grace Maidens much,
for as they be glistering, so they be momentary,
readie to be worne with euery winters blast, and
parched with euery Summers sunne, there is no
face so fayre, but the least Moale, the slenderest
skarre, the smallest brunt of sicknesse, will quickly
blemishe.

Beauty Cozen, as it florisheth in youth, so it
fadeth in age, it is but a folly that feedeth mans
eye, a painting that Nature lendes for a tyme, and
men allowe on for a while, in so much, that such

J DISPFTATIOX 47

as onely ayme at your faire lookes, tye but their
loues to an apprentishippe of beauty, which
broken eyther with cares, mis-fortune, or yeeres,
their destinies are at liberty, and they beginne to
lothe you, and like of others.

Forma bonum fragile est quantumque accedit ad

AnnoSy
Fit minor et spacio Carpitur ipsa suo.

Then Cozin, stand not too much on such a
slippery glorie, that is as brittle as glasse, bee not
proude of beauties painting, that hatched by tyme,
perrisheth in short tyme, neyther are Women the
more admirable of wise men for theyr gay appar-
rell, though fooles are fed with gards, for a womans
ornaments, is the excellencie of her vertues: and
her inward good qualities, are of farre more worth
then her outward braueries, imbroydred hayre,
bracelets, silkes, rich attire, and such trash, doo
rather bring the name of a young Maide in ques-
tion, then adde to her fame any title of honour.

The Vestall Virgins were not reuerenced of the
Senators for their curious clothing, but for their
chastitie. Cornelia was not famozed for ornaments
of golde, but for excellent vertues. Superfluity in
apparrell, sheweth rather lightnes of mind, then
it importeth any other inward good quality: and
men iudge of Maydens rarenesse, by the modestie
of their rayment, holding it rather garish then

48 A DISPVTJTION

glorious, to be trickt vp in superfluous and ex-
ceeding braueries. Neither Cozen is it seemely
for Maydes, to iet abroade, or to frequent too
much company.

For shee that is looked on by many, cannot
chuse but bee hardly spoken of by some, for
report hath a blister on her tongue, and Maydens
actions are narrowly measured. Therefore woulde
not the auncient Romaines, suffer theyr Daugh-
ters, to goe any further then theyr Mothers lookes
guided them. And therefore Diana is painted with
a Tortuse vnder her feete, meaning, that a Maid
shoulde not be a stragler, but like the Snayle,
carry her house on her heade, and keepe at home
at her worke, so to keepe her name without
blemish, and her vertues from the slaunder ot
enuie.

A maide that hazards herselfe in much com-
pany, may venture the freedome of her hart by the
folly of her eye, for so long the pot goes to the
water, that it comes broken home, and such as
looke much must needes like at last: the Fly
dallyes with a flame, but at length she burneth,
flax and fire put together will kindle, a maid in
companie of yonge men shall be constrayned to
listen to the wanton allurements of many cunning
speeches: if she hath not eyther with Vlisses tasted
of Moly, or stopt her eares warily, shee may either
bee entised with the Syrens^ or enchanted by

./ DISPFTJTION 49

CyrceSj youth is apt to yeeld to sweet perswasions,
and therfore cozen thinke nothing more daunge-
rous than to gad abroade, neither cozen doe I
allowe this wanton dauncing in younge virgins, tis
more comendation for them to moderate their
manners, than to measure their feete, and better to
heare nothing than to listen vnto vnreuerent
Musicke: Sylence is a precious lewell, and nothing
so much worth as a countenaunce full of chastitie,
light behauiour is a signe of lewd thoughts, and
men will say, there goes a wanton that will not
want one, if a place and person were agreeable to
her desires: if a maidens honor be blemisht, or her
honestie cald in question, she is halfe deflowred,
and therefore had maidens neede to bee chary,
least enuy report them for vnchast. Cozen I speake
this generally, which if you apply particularly to
your selfe, you shall find in time my words were
well saide.

I gaue him slender thankes, butwith such afrump
that he perceiued how light I made of his coun-
sayle: which hee perceiuing, shakt his head, and
with teares in his eyes departed. But I whom
wanton desires had drawne in delight, still pre-
sumde in my former follies, and gaue my selfe
either to gad abroad, or else at home to read
dissolute Pamphlets, which bred in mee many ill
affected wishes, so that I gaue leaue to loue and
lust to enter into the center of my heart, where

50 A DISPFTJTION

they harboured tyll they wrought my finall and
fatall preiudice.

Thus leading my life loosely, and being soothed
vp with the applause of my too kind and louing
parents, I had many of euery degree that made
loue vnto me, as wel for my beauty, as for the hope
of wealth that my father w^ould bestowe vpon mee:
sundry sutors I had, and I allowed of all, though
I particularly graunted loue to none, yeelding
them friendly fauors, as being proud I had more
wooers then any maid in the parish beside:
amongst the rest there was a welthy Farmer that
wished me well, a man of some forty yeeres of
age, one too worthy for one of so little worth as
my selfe, and him my father, mother, and other
friendes, would haue had mee match my selfe
withall: but I that had had the raynes of lybertie
too long in mine owne hands, refused him and
would not bee ruled by their perswasions, and
though my mother with teares entreated mee to
consider of mine owne estate, & how wel I sped
if I wedded with him, yet carelesly I despised her
counsayle, and flatly made aunswere that I would
none of him : which though it pinched my Parentes
at the quicke, yet rather than they would displease
me, they left me in mine own liberty to loue.
Many there were beside him, mens sons of no
meane worth, that were wooers vnto mee, but in
vaine, either my fortune or destenie droue me to

J DISPFTJTION 51

a worser ende, for I refused them all, and with the
Beetle, refusing to light on the sweetest flowers all
day, nestled at night in a Cowsheard.

It fortuned that as many sought to win me, so
amongst the rest there was an od companion that
dwelt with a Gentleman hard by, a fellowe of small
reputation, and of no lyuing, neither had he any
excellent quallitics but thrumming on the gittron:
but of pleasant disposition he was, and could gawll
out many quaint & ribadrous ligges & songs, and
so was fauoured of the foolish sect for his foppery.
This shifting companion, sutable to my selfe in
vanitie, would oft times be iesting with me, and I
so lonq^ dallying with him, that I beganne deepely
(oh let me blush at this confession) to fall in loue
with him, and so construed of all his actions, that I
consented to mine owne ouerthrowe: for assmoake
will hardly be concealed, so loue will not bee long
smothred, but will bewray her owne secrets, which
was manifest in mee, who in my sporting with
him, so bewrayed my affection, that hee spying I
fauoured him, began to strike when the yron was
hotte, and to take opportunitie by the forehead,
and one day finding me in a merry vaine, began to
question with me of loue, which although at the
first I slenderly denyed him, yet at last I graunted,
so that not onely I agreed to plight him my faith,
but that night meeting to haue farther talke, I
lasciuiously consented that he cropt the flower of

52 A DISPFTJTION

my virginity. When thus I was spoyled by such
a base companion, I gaue my selfe to content his
humor, and to satisfie the sweet of mine owne
wanton desires. Oh heare let me breath and with
teares bewaile the beginning of my miseries, and
to exclayme against the folly of my Parents, who
by too much fauouring mee in my vanitie in my
tender youth, layde the first plot of my ensuing
repentance: Had they with due correction chas-
tised my wantonnesse, and supprest my foolish
will with their graue aduise, they had made mee
more vertuous and themselues lesse sorrowfull. A
fathers frowne is a bridle to the childe, and a
mothers checke is a stay to the stubborne daughter.
Oh had my parents in ouerlouing mee not hated
me, I had not at this time cause to complaine. Oh
had my father regarded the saying of the wise
man, I had not beene thus woe begone.

If thy daughter bee not shamefast holde her
straightly^ least shee abuse her selje through ouer-
much libertie.

Take heede of her that hath an vnshamefast eye.^
^ maruell not if she trespasse against thee.

The daughter maketh the father to watch secretly^
and the carefulnesse he hath for her, taketh away his
sleep e.

In her virginitie, least shee should he deflowred in
her fathers house.

JDISPFTJTION 53

If therefore thy daughter be vnshamefast in her
youth^ keepe her straightUe^ least shee cause thine
enemies to laugh thee to scorne, and make thee a
common talke in the Cittie^ and defame thee among
the people^ and bring thee to publique shame.

Had my parentes with care considered of this
holy counsaile, and leuelled my life by the load-
stone of vertue: had they lookt narrowly into the
faultes of my youth, and bent the tree while it was
a wand, and taught the hound while he was a
puppie, this blemish had neuer befortuned me, nor
so great dishonour had not befallen them. Then
by my example, let all Parents take heed, least in
louing their children too tenderly, they subuert
them vtterly, least in manuring the ground too
much with the vnskilful husbandman, it waxe too
fat, and bring foorth more weeds then floures,
least cockering their children vnder their winges
without correction, they make them carelesse, and
bring them to destruction, as their nurture is in
youth, so will their nature grow in age. If the
Palme tree be supprest while it is a sien, it wil
contrary to nature be crooked when it is a Tree.

Quo semel est imbuta recens seruahit odorentesta diu.

If then vertue be to be ingrafted in youth, least
they prooue obstinate in age, reforme your child-
ren betimes both with correction and counsaile, so

54 ^ DISPFTJTION

shall you that are parentes glorie in the honour of
their good indeuours, but leauing this digression,
againe to the loosenesse of mine owne life, who
now hauing lost the glorie of my youth, and
suffered such a base slaue to possesse it, which
many men of woorth had desired to enioy, I
waxed bold in sin & grew shameles, in so much he
could not desire so much as I did grant, where-
upon, seeing hee durst not reueale it to my father
to demand me in marriage, hee resolued to carry
me away secretly, and therefore wisht me to
prouide for my selfe, and to furnish mee euery
way both with money and apparrell, hoping as he
sayd, that after we were departed, and my father
saw wee were married, and that no meanes was to
amend it, he would giue his free consent, and vse
vs as kindly, and deale with vs as liberally as if wee
had matcht with his good wil. I that was apt to
any il, agreed to this, and so wrought the matter,
that hee carried mee away into a straunge place,
and then vsing me a while as his wife, when our
mony began to wax low, he resolued secretly to go
into the Country where my father dwelt, to heare
not only how my father tooke my departure, but
what hope we had of his ensuing fauour, although
I was loath to be left alone in a strange place, yet
I was willing to heare from my friendes, who no
doubt conceiued much heart sorrow for my vn-
happy fortunes, so that I parted with a few teares,

A DISPVTATION 55

and enioyned him, to make all the hast he might
to returne, hee being gone, as the Eagles alwaies
resort where the carrion is, so the brute being
spred abroad of my bewtie, and that at such an
Inne laie such a faire yoong Gentlewoman, there
resorted thither many braue vouthfull Gentlemen
and cutting companions, that tickled with lust,
aymed at the possession of my fauour, and by
sundry meanes sought to haue a sight of me, which
I easily graunted to all, as a woman that counted
it a glory to be wondred at by many mens eyes,
insomuch that comming amongst them, I set their
harts more and more on fire, that there rose diuers
brawles who should bee most in my company,
beeing thus haunted by such a troupe of lustie
Rufflers, I beganne to finde mine owne folly, that
had placst my first affection so losely, and therefore
beganne as deeply to loath him that was departed,
as earst I likte him, when hee was present, vowing
in my selfe though hee had the spoyle of my
virginitie, yet neuer after should he triumph in the
possession of my fauour, and therfore beganne I
to affection these new come guests, and one aboue
the rest, who was a braue yoong Gentleman, and
no lesse addicted vnto mee, then I deuoted vnto
him, for daily hee courted mee with amorous
Sonnets and curious proude letters, and sent me
lewels, and all that I might grace him with the
name of my seruant, I returned him as louyng

H

56 A DISPFTJTION

lines at last, and so contented his lusting desire,
that secretly and vnknowne to all the rest, I made
him sundry nights my bedfellow, where I so
bewitcht him with sweet wordes, that the man
began deepely to doate vpon me, insomuch that
selling some portion of land that he had, hee put
it into readie money, and prouiding Horse and all
things conuenient, carried mee secretly away,
almost as farre as the Bathe. This was my second
choyce and my second shame, thus I went forward
in wickednesse and delighted in chaunge, hauing
left mine olde loue to looke after some other mate
more fit for her purpose, how hee tooke my depar-
ture when hee returned I little cared, for now I
had my content, a Gentleman, yoong, lustie, and
indued with good quallities, and one that loued
mee more tenderly then himselfe, thus liued this
new entertained friend and I togither vnmarried,
yet as man and wife for a while, so louingly as was
to his content and my credite, but as the Tygre
though for a while shee hide her clawes, yet at last
shee will reueale her crueltie; and as the Agnus
Castus leafe when it lookes most drye, is then most
full of moysture, so womens wantonnesse is not
quallified by their warinesse, nor doe their chari-
nesse for a moneth, warrant their chastitie for euer,
which I prooued true, for my supposed husband
beeing euery way a man of worth could not so
couertly hide himselfe in the country, though a

A DISPVTATION 57

stranger, but that he fel in acquaintance with many
braue Gentlemen whom he brought home to his
lodging, not only to honour them with his liberall
courtesie, but also to see mee being proude of anv
man of woorth, applawded mv beautie. Alas poore
Gentleman, too much bewitcht by the wilinesse of
a woman, had hee deemed mv heart to bee a har-
bour for euery new desire, or mine eye a sutor to
euerie new face, hee would not haue beene sofonde
as to haue brought his companions into my com-
pany, but rather would haue mewed mee up as a
Henne, to haue kept that seuerall to himselfe by
force, which hee could not retaine by kindnessc,
but the honest minded Nouice little suspected my
chaunge, although I God wot placed my delight,
in nothing more then the desire of new choyce,
which fell out thus. Amongst the rest of the
Gentlemen that kept him company, there was one
that was his most familiar, and hee reposed more
trust and confidence in him then in all the rest,
this Gentleman beganne to bee deepely inamoured
of mee, and shev/ed it by many signes which I
easily perceiued, and I whose eare was pliant to
euer\' sweete word, and who so allowed of all that
were bewtifull, affected him no lesse, so that louc
preuailing aboue friendship, hee broake the matter
with mee, and made not manv suites in vaine
before hee obteined his purpose, for hee had what
hee wisht, and I had what contented mee, I will

58 A DISPFTJTION

not confesse that any of the rest had some sildome
fauours, but this Gentleman was my second selfe,
and I loued him more for the time at the heele,
then the other at the heart, so that though the
other youth beare the charges and was made sir
pay for all, yet this newe friend was hee that was
maister of my affections, which kindnesse betwixt
vs, was so vnwisely cloaked, that in short time it
was manifest to all our familiars which made my
supposed husband to sigh and others to smile, but
hee that was hit with the home was pincht at the
heart, yet so extreame was the affection hee bare
to mee, that he had rather conceale his greefe, then
any way make me discontent, so that hee smooth-
ered his sorrow with patience, and brookt the
iniurie with silence, till our loues grew so broad
before, that it was a woonder to the worlde, where-
upon one day at dinner, I being verie pleasant with
his chosen friend and my choyce louer, I know not
how, but either by fortune, or it may be some set
match, there was by a gentleman, there present a
question popt in about womens passions, and their
mutabilitie in affection, so that the controuersie
was defended, pro &' contra^ which arguments,
whether a woman might haue a second friend or
no, at last it was concluded, that loue and Lord-
shippe brookes no fellowship, and therefore none
so base minded to beare a riuall. Hereupon arose
a question about friendes that were put in trust.

A DISPFTJTION 59

how it was a high point of treason, for one to
betray an other, especially in loiie, in so much that
one gentleman at the boord, protested by a
solemne oath, that if any friend of his made priuie
and fauoured with the sight of his mistresse whom
hee loued, whether it were his wife or no, should
secretly seeke to incroach into his roome and ofter
him that dishonour to partake his loue, he would
not vse any other reuenge, but at the next greeting
stabbe him with his Poynado, though hee were
condemned to death for the action. All this fitted
for the humor of my supposed husband, and
strooke both mee and my friend into a quandarie,
but I scornfully iested at it, when as my husband
taking the ball before it fel to the ground, began
to make a long discourse what faithlesse friends
they were that would faile in loue, especially where
a resolued trust of the partie beloued was com-
mitted vnto them, and here vpon to make the
matter more credulous, and to quip my folly, and
to taunt the basenesse of his friends minde, that so
he might with curtesie both warne vs of our
wantonnes, and reclaime vs from ill, he promised
to tell a pleasant storie performed as hee sayd not
long since in England, and it was to this effect.

6o A DISPFTATION

A -pleasant discourse^ how a wife wanton by her hus-
bands gentle warnings became to be a modest Matron.

THERE was a Gentleman (to giue him his
due) an Esquire heere in England, that was
married to a yoong Gentlewoman, faire and of a
modest behauiour, vertuous in her lookes, howso-
cuer she was in her thoughts, and one that euery
way with her dutifull indeuour and outward
apparance of honestie, did breed her husbands
content, insomuch that the Gentleman so deeply
affected her, as he counted al those houres ill
spent which he past not away in her company,
besotting so himselfe in the beautie of his wife,
that his onely care was to haue her euery way
delighted, liuing thus pleasantly togither, he had
one spetiall friend amongst the rest, whom he so
dearly affected, as euer Damon did his Pythias^
P Hades his Orestes., or Pytus his Gisippus, he vn-
folded all his secrets in his bosome, and what
passion hee had in his minde that either ioyed
him or perplexed him, he reuealed vnto his friend,
& directed his actions according to the sequel of
his counsailes, so that they were two bodies and
one soule. This Gentleman for all the inward
fauour showne him by his faithful friend, could
not so withstand the force of fancy, but he grew
enamoured of his friendes wife, whom he courted
with many sweet words and faire promises, charm^s

JDISPTTJTION 6 1

that are able to inchant almost the chastest eares,
and so subtilly couched his arguments, discouered
such loue in his eves, and such sorrow in his
lookes, that dispaire seemed to sit in his face, and
swore, that if shee granted not him Le don du
merely the end of a louers sighes then would pre-
sent his hart as a Tragick sacrifice to the sight of
his cruel mistresse, the Gentlewoman waxing
pitifull, as women are kinde harted and are loth
Gentlemen should die for loue, after a few excuses,
let him dub her husband knight of the forked
order, and so to satisfie his humor, made forfeyt
of her owne honor. Thus these two louers con-
tinued by a great space in such plesures as vnchast
wantons count their felicitie, hauing continually
fit opportunitie to exercise their wicked purpose,
sith the gentleman himself did giue them free
libertie to loue, neither suspecting his wife, or
suspecting his friend, at last, as such traytrous
abuses will burst foorth, it fell so out, that a mayd
who had been an old seruant in the house, began
to grow suspitious, that there was too much
familiaritie betweene her mistresse and her
maisters friend, and vpon this watcht them diuers
times so narrowly, that at last she found them more
priuate then either agreed with her maisters honor,
or her owne honestie, and thereupon reuealed it
one day vnto her maister, he little credulous of the
light behauiour of his wife, blamed the mayd and

62 A DISPUTATION

bad her take heed, least she sought to blemish her
vertues with slaunder, whom hee loued more
tenderly then his owne life, the mayd replied, that
she spake not of enuy to him, but of meere loue
she beare vnto him, and the rather that hee might
shadow such a fault in time, and by some meanes
preuent it, least if others should note it as well as
shee, his wiues good name and his friends should
bee cald in question, at these wise words spoken
by so base a drug as his mayd, the Gentleman
waxed astonished and listened to her discourse,
wishing her to discouer how she knew or was so
priuy to the folly of her mistresse, or by what
meanes he might haue assured proofe of it, shee
tolde him that to her, her owne eyes were wit-
nesses, for shee saw them vnlawfully togither, and
please it you sir quoth shee, to faine your selfe to
go from home, and then in the backhouse to
keepe you secret, I will let you see as much as I
haue manifested vnto you, vpon this the maister
agreed, and warnd his mayd not so much as to
make it knowne to any of her fellowes. Within a
day or two after, the Gentleman sayd, hee would
goe a hunting and so rise verie early, and causing
his men to couple vp his Houndes, left his wife in
bed and went abroad, assoone as he was gone a
myle from the house, he commanded his men to
ryde afore and to start the Hare and follow the
chase, and wee will come faire and softly after,

J DISPTTJTION 63

they obeying their maisters charge, went theyr
wayes, and he returned by a backwav to his house,
and went secretly to the place where his mayd and
he had appointed. In the meane time, the mis-
tresse thinking her husband safe with hisHoundes,
sent for her friend to her bed chamber, by a trustie
seruant of hers, in whom shee assured that was a
secret Pander in such affaires, and the Gentleman
was not slacke to come, but making all the haste
hee could, came and went into the chamber, asking
for the Maister of the house very familiarly, the
old mayd noting all this, assoone as she knew them
togither, went and cald her maister and carried
him vp by a secret pair of staires to her mistresse
chamber doore, where peeping in at a place that
the mayd before had made for the purpose, he saw
more then he lookt for, and so much as pincht him
at the very heart, causing him to accuse his wife
for a strumpet, and his friend for a traytor, yet for
all this, valuing his owne honour more then their
dishonestie, thinking if he should make an vprore,
he should but ayme at his owne discredite, and
cause himself to be a laughing game to his ene-
mies, he concealed his sorrow with silence, and
taking the mayd apart, charged her to keepe all
secret, whatsoeuer she had seene, euen as she
esteemed of her owne life, for if shee did bewray
it to any, hee himselfe would with his Swoord
make an ende of her daies, and with that putting

64 A DISPFTJTION

his hand in his sleeue, gaue the poorc mayd sixe
Angels to buy her a new gowne, the wench glad
of this gift, swore solemnely to tread it vnder foote,
and sith it pleased him to conseale it, neuer to
reueale it as long as she liued, vpon this they
parted, she to her drudgery, and he to the field to
his men, where after hee had kild the Hare, hee
returned home, and finding his friend in the
Garden, that in his absence had been grafting
homes in the Chimnies, and entertained him with
his woonted familiaritie, and shewed no bad
countenance to his vv^ife, but dissembled al his
thoughts to the full. Assoone as dinner was done,
and that he was gotten solitarie by himselfe, he
beganne to determine of reuenge, but not as euerie
man would haue done, how to haue brought his
wife to shame, & her loue to confusion, but he
busied his braines how hee might reserue his
honour inuiolate, reclaime his wife, and keep his
friend, meditating a long time how he might bring
all this to passe, at last a humour .fell into his head,
how cunningly to compasse all three and therefore
he went & got him a certaine slips, which are coun-
terfeyt peeces of mony being brasse, & couered
ouer with siluer, which the common people
call slips, hauing furnished himselfe with these,
hee put them in his purse, and at night went to
bed as he was wont to doo, yet not vsing the kind
familiaritie that he accustomed, notwithstanding

J DISPrTJTlON 65

he abstained not from the vse of her body,
but knew his wife as aforetimes, and euery time
hee committed the act with her, he layd the next
morning in the window a slip, where hee was
sure shee might finde it, and so many times as it
pleased him to be carnally pleasant with his wife,
so many slips he still layd down vpon her cushnet.
This he vsed for the space of a fortnight, till at last,
his wife finding euer>- day a slip, or sometime more
or lesse, wondred how they came there, and
examining her wayting maydes, none of them
could tell her anything touching them, wherevpon
shee thought to question with her husband about
it, but being out of her remembrance, the next
morning as he & she lay dallying in bed, it came
into her minde, and she asked her husband if he
layd those slippes on her cushnet, that she of late
found there, hauing neuer seene any before. I
mzrry did I quoth hee, and I haue layd them there
upon speciall reason, and it is this, Euer since I
haue been married to thee, I haue deemed thee
honest, and therefore vsed and honored thee as my
wife, parting coequall fauours betwixt vs as true
loues, but alate finding the contrary^ & with these
eves seeing thee play the whore with my friend in
whom I did repose all my trust, I sought not as
manv would haue done, to haue reuenged in
blood, but for the safetie of mine own honor,
which otherwise would haue been blemisht by thy

66 A DISPFTJTION

dishonestle, I haue bin silent, and haue neyther
wronged my quandom friend, nor abused thee,
but still do hold bed with thee, that the world
should not suspect any thing, and to quench the
desire of lust I do vse thy bodie, but not so lovingly
as I would a wife, but carelesly as I would a strum-
pet, and therefore euen as to a whoore, so I giue
thee hyer, which is for euerie time a slip, a counter-
feet coyne, which is good inough for such a
slipperie wanton, that will wrong her husband
that loued her so tenderly, and thus wil I vse thee
for the safetie of mine owne honour, till I haue
assured proofe that thou becommest honest, and
thus with teares in his eyes and his heart readie to
burst with sighes, he was silent, when his wife
striken with remorse of conscience, leaping out of
her bedde in her smocke, humbly confessing all,
craued pardon, promising if he should pardon this
offence which was new begun in her, shee would
become a new reformed woman, and neuer after
so much as in thought, giue him any occasion of
suspition of ielousie, the patient husband not
willing to vrge his wife, tooke her at her word, and
told her that when he found her so reclaimed, he
would as afore he had done, vse her louingly and
as his wife, but till he was so perswaded of her
honestie, he wold pay her stil slips for his pleasure,
charging her not to reueale any thing to his friend,
or to make it knowne to him that hee was priuy

J DISPTTJTION 67

to their loues. Thus the debate ended, I gesse in
some kinde greeting, and the Gentleman went
abroad to see his pastures, leauing his wife in bed
full of sorrow and almost renting her heart asunder
with sighs, assoone as he was walked abroad, the
Gentleman his friend came to the house and asked
for the goodman, the pander that was priuy to all
their practises, said, that his maister was gone
abroad to see his pastures, but his mistresse was in
bed, why then saies he, I will go and raise her vp,
so comming into the chamber and kissing her,
meaning as hee was wont to have vsed other accus-
tomed dalliance, shee desired him to abstaine with
broken sighes & her eyes full of teares, he won-
dring what should make her thus discontent, asked
her what was the cause of her sorow, protesting
with a solemne oath, that if any had done her
iniur}% he wold reuenge it, were it with hazard of
his life, she then tolde him scarce being able to
speake for weeping, that shee had a sute to mooue
him in, which if he granted vnto her, she would
hold him in loue and affection without change next
her husband for euer, he promised to do whatso-
euer it were, then saies she, sweare vpon a Byble
you will do it without exception, with that he
tooke a Byble that laie in the window & swore,
that whatsoeuer she requested him to do, were it to
the losse of his life, he would without exception
performe it. Then she holding downe her head

68 A DISPVTJTION

and blushing, began thus. I need not quoth shee
make manifest how grosly and greeuously you and
I haue both offended God, and wronged the honest
Gentleman my husband and your friend, hee
putting a speciall trust in vs both, & assuring such
earnest affiance in your vnfained friendship, that
hee euen committeth me his wife, his loue, his
second life, into your bosome, this loue haue I
requited with inconstancy, in playing the harlot,
that faith that he reposeth in you, haue you re-
turned with trechery and falshood, in abusing
mine honesty and his honor, now a remorse of
conscience toucheth me for my sinnes, that I
hartily repent, and vow euer hereafter to Hue
onely to my husband, and therefore my sute is
to you, that from hencefoorth you shall neuer so
much as motion any dishonest question vnto mee,
nor seeke any vnlawfull pleasure or conuersing at
my handes, this is my sute, and herevnto I haue
sworne you, which oath if you obserue as a faith-
full gentleman, I will conceale from my husband
what is past, and rest in honest sort your faithfull
friend for euer, at this shee burst afresh into teares,
and vttered such sighes, that he thought for very
griefe her hart would haue claue asunder. The
Gentleman astonied at this straunge Metamor-
phesis of his mistresse, sat a good while in a maze,
and at last taking her by the hand, made this reply,
so God hclpe mee faire sweeting, I am glad of this

A DISPFTJTION 69

motion, and wondrous ioyfull that God hath put
such honest thoughts into your mind,& hath made
you the meanes to reclaime mee from my folly, I
feele no lesse remorse then you doo, in wronging
so honest a friend as your husband, but this is the
frailnesse of man, and therefore to make amends,
I protest a new, neuer hereafter so much as in
thought, as to motion you of dishonestie, onely I
craue you be silent, she promised that and so they
ended. And so for that time they parted, at noone
the gentleman came home and cheerfully saluted
his wife and asked if dinner were ready, and sent
for his friend, vsing him wonderfully familiarly,
giuing him no occasion of mistrust, and so plea-
santly they past away the day togither, at night
when his wife and he went to bed, shee told him
all, what had past betweene her and his friend, and
how she had bound him with an oath, and that
hee voluntarily of himselfe swore as much being
hartily sory that hee had so deepely offended so
kinde a friend, the gentleman commended her wit,
and found her afterward a reclaimed woman, shee
liuing so honestly that she neuer gaue him any
occasion of mistrust. Thus the wise gentleman
reclaimed with silence a wanton wife, and retained
an assured friend.

At this pleasant Tale all the boord was at a
mutinie, and they said the gentleman did passing

70 A DISPFTJTION

wisely that wrought so cunningly for the safetie of
his owne honor, but highly exclaiming against such
a friend as would to his friend offer such villany,
all condemning her that wold be false to so louing
a husband. Thus they did diuersly descant & past
away dinner, but this Tale wrought litle effect in
me, for as one past grace, I delighted in chaunge,
but the gentleman that was his familiar and my
Paramour, was so touched, that neuer after hee
would touch me dishonestly, but reclaimed him-
selfe, abstained from me and became true to his
friend, I wondring that according to his woonted
custome, he did not seeke my company, he and I
being one day in the chamber alone, and he in his
dumpes, I began to dally with him, and to aske
him why he was so straunge, and vsed not his
accustomed fauours to me. He solemnely made
answere, that though he had playd the foole in
setting his fancy vpon an other mans wife, & in
wronging his friend, yet his conscience was now
touched with remorse, & euer since he heard the
Tale afore rehearsed, hee had vowed in himselfe
neuer to do my husband the like wrong againe:
my husband quoth I, he is none of mine, he hath
brought me from my friends and keepes mee here
vnmarried, and therefore am I as free for you as
for him, & thus began to grow clamorous, because
I was debard of my lust, the gentleman seeing me
shamelesse, wisht me to be silent, and sayd,

J DISPFTJTION 71

although you be but his friend, yet he hold you
as deare as his wife, and therfore I will not abuse
him, neither would I wish you to be familiar with
anv other, seeing vou haue a friend that loues vou
so tenderly, much good counsaile he gaue me, but
all in vaine, for I scorned it, and began to hate him,
and resolued both to be ridde of him and my sup-
posed husband, for falling in an other familiar of
my husbands, I so inueagled him with sweet
words, that I caused him to make a peece of mony
to steale me away, and so carry me to London,
where I had not liued lone with him, ere he seeing
my light behauiour, left mee to the world, and to
shift for my selfe. Here by my example may you
note the inconstant life of Courtezens and common
harlots, who after they haue lost their honestie,
care not who grow into their fauour, nor what
villany they commit, they fancy all as long as
crownes last, and only ayme at pleasure and ease,
they cleaue like Caterpillars to the tree, and con-
sume the fruit where they fall, they be Vultures
that praie on men aliue, and like the Serpent sting
the bosome wherein they are nourished. I may best
discourse their nature, because I was one of their
profession, but now beeing metamorphosed, I
holde it meritorious for mee to warne women from
being such wantons, and to giue a caucat to men,
least they addict themselves to such stragling
strumpettes, as loue none, though they like all, but

I

72 A DISPFTJTION

aflFectionate only for profit, and when he hath
spent all, they beate him out of doores with the
prodigall childe, but stopping heere, till occasion
serue mee fitter to discouer the manner of Courte-
zins, to my selfe, who now being brought to
London, and left here at randon, was not such a
housedoue while any friend staled with me, but
that I had visite some houses in London, that
could harbour as honest a woman as my selfe, when
as therefore I was left to my selfe, I remoued my
lodging, and gat mee into one of those houses of
good hospitalitie whereunto persons resort, com-
monly called a Trugging house, or to be plaine, a
whore house, where I gaue my selfe to entertaine
al companions, sitting or standing at the doore like
a staule, to allure or draw in wanton passengers,
refusing none that wold with his purse purchase
me to be his, to satisfie the disordinate desire of his
filth ie lust, now I began not to respect parsonage,
good qualities, to the gratious fauour of the man,
when eye had no respect of person, for the oldest
lecher was as welcom as the youngest louer, so he
broght meate in his mouth, otherwise I pronounce
against him.

Si nihil attuleris ibis homere foras.

I waxed thus in this hell of voluptuousnes, daily

worse & worse, yet hauing as they terme it, a

respect to the maine chance, as neare as I could

to auoyd diseases, and to keepe my selfe braue

J DISPFTJTION 73

in apparell, although I payd a kind of tribute to
the Bawde, according as the number and benefite
of my companions did exceed, but neuer could I
bee brought to be a pickpocket or theeuish, by any
of their perswasions, although I wanted daily no
instructions to allure me to that villany, for I
thinke nature had wrought in me a contrary humor,
otherwise my bad nourture, and conuersing with
such bad company had brought me to it, mary in
all their vices I carried a brazen face & was shame-
lesse, for what Ruffian was there in London, that
would vtter more desperate oaths then I in mine
anger, what to spet, quaffe, or carouse more
diuelishly or rather damnable then my selfe, &:
for beastly communication Messalyna of Rome
might haue bin wayting mayd, besides, I grew so
grafted in sin, that Consueto peccandi tollebat sensum
■peccati^ Custome of sin, tooke away the feeling of
the sin, for 1 so accustomably vse my selfe to all
kinde of vice, that I accounted swearing no sinne,
whordome, why I smile at that, and could pro-
phanely saie, that it was a sin which God laught
at, gluttony I held good fellowship, & wrath
honor and resolution, I dispised God, nay in my
conscience I might easily haue been persuaded
there was no God, I contemned the preachers, and
when any wisht mee to reforme my life, I bad away
with the Puritan, and if any yoong woman refused
to be as vitious euerie way as my selfe, I would

74 A DISPFTJTION

then say, gip fine soule, a yoong Saint will prooue
an old diuel, I neuer would go to the Church and
Sermons, I vtterly refused, holding them as
needles Tales told in a Pulpit, I would not bend
mine eares to the hearing of any good discourse,
but still delighted in iangling Ditties of rybaudrie,
thus to the greefe of my friendes, hazard of my
soule, and consuming of my bodie, I spent a yeare
or two in this base and bad kinde of life, subiect
to the whistle of euerie desperate Ruffian, till on
a time, there resorted to our house a Cloathier, a
propper yoong man, who by fortune, comming
first to drinke, espying mee, asked mee if I would
drinke with him, there needed no great intreatie,
for as then I wanted company, and so clapt me
downe by him, and began verie pleasantly then to
welcome him, the man being of himselfe modest
and honest, noted my personage, and iuditially
reasoned of my strumpetlike behauiour, and in-
wardly as after he reported vnto mee, greeued that
so foule properties were hidden in so good a
proportion, and that such rare wit and excellent
bewtie, was blemisht with whoredomes base de-
formitie, in so much that hee began to think well
of me, and to wish that I were as honest as I was
bewtifull. Againe, see how God wrought for my
conuersion, since I gaue my selfe to my loose kinde
of life, I neuer liked any so well as him, insomuch
that I began to iudge of euerie part, and me

yl DlSPFTylTlON 75

thought he was the properest man that euer I
saw, thus we sat both amorous of other, I las-
ciuously, & he honestly, at last he questioned with
me what country woman I was, and why being so
proper a woman, I would beseem to dwel or lie
in a base Alehouse, especially in one that had a
bad name, I warrant you hee wanted no knauish
reply to fit him, for I tolde him the house was as
honest as his mothers, marr}^ if there were in it a
good wench or two, that would pleasure their
friends at a neede, I gesse by his noase what por-
redge hee loued, and that hee hated none such,
well, seeing mee in that voice hee said little, but
shaked his head, payd for the beere and went his
way, only taking his leaue of me with a kisse,
which me thought was the sweetest that euer was
giuen mee, assoone as hee was gone, I began to
thinke what a handsome man hee was, and wisht
that he wold come and take a nights lodging with
me, sitting in a dumpe to thinke of the quaintnes
of his personage, til other companions came in,
that shakte mee out of that melancholie, but as-
soone againe as I was secrete to my selfe, hee came
into my remembrance, passing ouer thus a day or
two, this Cloathier came againe to our house,whose
sight cheared mee vp, for that spying him out at a
Casement, I ranne downe the staires and met him
at the doore, and hartily welcomed him, & asked
him if he wold drinke, I come for that purpose

76 A DISPFTJTION

saies he, but I will drinke no more below but in
a Chamber, marry sir quoth I you shal, and so
brought him into the fairest roome, in their
sitting there togither drinking, at last the Cloathier
fell to kissing and other dalliance, wherein he
found me not coy, at last told mee that he would
willingly haue his pleasure of mee, but the roome
was too lightsome, for of all things in the world,
he could not in such actions away with a light
Chamber, I consented vnto him, and brought him
into a room more darke, but still hee said it was
too light, then I carried him into a farther Cham-
ber, where drawing a buckeram curtain afore the
window, and closing the curtaines of the bed, I
asked him smiling, if that were close inough, no
sweet loue saies he, the curtain is thin & not broad
inough for the window, peraduenture some watch-
ing eye may espie vs, my heart misdoubts, & my
credit is my life, good loue if thou hast a more
close room then this, bring me to it, why then
quoth I follow me, & with that I brought him
into a backe loft, where stood a litle bed only
appointed to lodge suspitious persons, so darke
that at noone dales it was impossible for any man
to see his ownc hands, how now sir quoth I, is not
this darke inough, he sitting him downe on the bed
side, fetcht a deep sigh, & said indifFeret, so, so,
but there is a glimpse of light in at the tyles, some
bodie may by fortune see vs, in faith no quoth 1,

A DISPFTJTION 77

none but God, God sales hee, why can God see
vs here, good sir quoth I, why I hope you are not
so simple, but Gods eyes are so cleare, and pene-
trating, that they can peirce through wals of brasse,
and that were we inclosed neuer so secretly, yet we
are manifestly seene to him, and alas quoth he
sweet loue, if God see vs shal we not be more
ashamed to doo such a filthy act before him then
before men, I am sure thou art not so shameles
but thou woldst blush & be afraid to haue the
meanest commoner in London see thee in the actio
of thv filthv lust, and doest thou not shame more to
haue God, the maker of all thinges see thee, who
reuengeth sin with death, he whose eyes are clearer
then the Sun, who is the searcher of the heart, and
holdeth vengeance in his handes to punish sinners.
Consider sweete loue, that if man and wife would
be ashamed to haue anv of their friendes see them
in the act of generation, or performing the rightes
of marriage which is lawfull, and allowed before
God, vet for modestie do it in the most couert they
may, then how impudent or gracelesse should we
bee, to fulfill our filthie lust before the eyes of the
Almighty, who is greater then all kings or princes
on the earth. Oh let vs tremble that we but once
durst haue such wanton communication in the
hearing of his diuine Maiest)', who pronounceth
damnation for such as eiue themselues ouer to
adulter\'. It is not possible sa'th the Lorde, for any

78 A DISPFTJTION

whoremaister or lasciuious wanton, to enter into
the kingdome of God, for such sinnes whole Cities
haue suncke, kingdomes haue beene destroyed,
and though God suffreth such wicked liuers to
escape for a while, yet at length he payeth home,
in this world with beggarie, shame, diseases, or
infamy, and in the other life, with perpetuall
dampnation, weigh but the inconuenience that
growes through thy loose life, thou art hated of
all that are good, despised of the vertuous, and
only well thought of, of reprobats, raskals, ruffians,
and such as the world hates, subiect to their lust,
and gaining thy liuing at the hands of euery
diseased leacher. Oh what a miserable trade of
life is thine that liuest of the vomit of sin, in
hunting after maladies, but suppose, while thou
art yoong, thou art fauoured of thy companions,
when thou waxest old, and that thy beautie is
vaded, then thou shalt be loathed and despised,
euen of them that profest most loue vnto thee,
then good sister call to minde the basenesse of thy
life, the hainous outrage of thy sin, that God doth
punish it with the rigor of his iustice, oh thou art
made bewtifull, faire, and well fourmed, and wilt
thou then by thy filthie lust make thy bodie, which
if thou bee honest, is the Temple of God, the habi-
tation of the diuel. Consider this, and call to God
for mercy, and amend thy life, leaue this house, and
I will become thy faithfull friend in all honestie,

J DISPUTATION -jc^

and vse thee as mine owne sister, at this, such a
remorse of conscience, such a fearefuU terror of
my sin strooke into my minde, that I kneeled
downe at his feete, and with teares besought him
he would helpe me out of that miser)', for his
exhortation had caused in me a loathing of my
wicked life, and I wold not only become a reformed
woman, but hold him as dear as mv father that
gaue me life, whereupon he kist me with teares,
and so we went downe togither, where wee had
further communication, and presently he prouided
me an other lodging, where I not only vsde my
selfe so honestly, but also was so penitent euery
day in teares for my former folly, that he tooke
me to his wife, and how I haue liued since and
loathed filthie lust, I referre my selfe to the Maies-
tie of God, who knoweth the secrets of all
hearts.

Thus Country men I haue publisht the conuer-
sion of an English Courtizen, which if any way it
bee profitable either to forewarne youth, or with-
draw bad persons to goodnesse, I haue the whole
end of my desire, only crauing euer)- father would
bring vp his children with carefull nourture, and
euer}' yoong woman respect the honour of her
virginitie.

But amongst all these blythe and merry lestes,
a little bv vour leaue, if it be no farther then Fetter-
lane, oh take heed, thats too nye the Temple, what

8o A DISPFTJTION

then, I will draw as neare the signe of the white
Hart as I can, and breathing my selfe by the
bottle Ale-house, He tell you a merry lest, how
a Conny-catcher was vsed.

A merry Tale taken not far from Fetter Lane end^ of a
new found Conny-catcher^ that was Conny-catcht

himselfe.

SO it fell out, that a Gentleman was sicke and
purblinde, and went to a good honest mans
house to soiourne, and taking vp his Chamber
grew so sick, that the goodman of the house hired
a woman to keep and attend day and night vpon
the Gentleman, this poore woman hauing a good
conscience, was carefull of his welfare and lookte
to his dyet, which was so slender, that the man
although sicke, was almost famisht, so that the
woman would no longer staie, but bad his Hoste
prouide him of some other to watch with him,
sith it greeued her to see a man lye and starue for
want of foode, especially being set on the score
for meate and drinke in the space of a fortnight,
foure poundes. The goodman of the house at last,
hearing how that poore woman did finde fault with
his scoring, the Gentleman not only put her out
of doores without wages, but would haue arrested
her, for taking away his good name, and defaming
and slaundering him, and with that calling one of

J DISPVTATIO^ 8 1

his neighbours to him, sayd neighbour, whereas
such a bad toongued woman hath reported to my
discredite, that the Gentleman that lyes sicke in
my house wants meat, and yet runnes very much
on the score, I pray you iudge by his diet whether
hee bee famisht or no, first in the morning, he hath
a Cawdell next his heart, halfe an houre after that,
a quart of Sugar sops, halfe an houre after that a
neck of mutton in broath, halfe an houre after thaat
Chickens in sorrell sops, and an houre after that,
a lovnt of rostmeat for his dinner, now neigh-
bour, hauing this prouision, you may mdge
whether he be spoyld for lacke of meate or no, and
to what great charges his dyet will arise, whereas
in truth, the poore Gentleman would haue beene
glad of the least of these, for he could get none at
all, but the cousoning knaue, thought to verse
vpon him, and one day seeing mony came not
briefly to the Gentleman, tooke some of his ap-
parrell, his cloake I gesse, and pawnde it for fortie
shillings, whereas God wot, all he eate in that time
was not woorth a Crowne, well, the Gentleman
seeing how the knaue went about to Conny-catch
him, and that he had taken his cloake, smoothered
all for reuenge, and watcht opportunitie to do it,
and on a time, seeing the goodman out, borrowed
a cloake far better then his owne, of the boy, saying
that he would goe to a friend of his to fetch money
for his maister & discharge the house, the boy

82 A DISPFTJTION

lending it him, away walks the Gentleman though

weake after this great diet, and neuer came at the

Taylors house to answere him cloake or

mony. And thus was he Conny-catcht

himselfe, that thought to haue verst

vpon another.

FINIS ^

ERRATA

The following emendations have been made in the

original text : —

age

Line

In the Original reads:

3

26

not '

♦(not'

6

13 '

erit "

♦ eit '

21

18

in gold '

' in in gold '

23

25

when '

' where '

28

II

'set'

♦sec'

47

18

silkes,'

' silkes : '

57

2

' whom '

' whem '

58

28

'a riuall.'

' ariuall.'

60

I

' wip '

♦ tvise '

68

20

' you '

' yon '

71

21

' the fruit '

♦ th efruit '

73

12

more desperate '

' mor edesperatc '

80

22

' poundes '

♦ ponndes '

1923

Greene, Robert

The thirde 5: last part of
conny-c etching. (.1923^

SEEN 3Y

PRnS^.^VAT!ON

^lRVICcS

DATE. ./^ -6-8^

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