Thoughts on religious experience

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Class B -
Book

THOUGHTS

ON

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE.

TO WHICH IS ADDED

AN APPENDIX, CONTAINING "LETTERS
TO THE AGED," &c. &c.

BY THE

Rev. ARCHIBALD ALEXANDER, D. D.

ii

Professor of Pastoral and Polemic Theology in the Princeton Theological Seminary.

THIRD EDITION.

PHILADELPHIA:

PRESBYTERIAN BOARD OP PUBLICATION;

PAUL T. JONES, PUBLISHING AGENT.

1844.

.f\5
I? 4+

Entered according to Act of Congress in the year 1844 by

A. W. MITCHELL, M. D.

in the office of the Clerk of the District Court for the
Eastern District of Pennsylvania.

4044»
18

Printed by
WM. S. MARTIEN.

Stereotyped by
S. DOUGLAS WYETH No. 7 Pear St. Philadelphia.

CONTENTS.

CHAPTER I.

Early religious impressions. — Different results. — Classes of

persons least impressed. — Examples of ineffectual impressions. 13

CHAPTER II.

Piety in children. — Comparatively few renewed in infancy and
childhood. — Soul awakened in different ways. — Legal con-
viction not a necessary part of true religion. — Progress of
conviction. - - - - - - -22

CHAPTER III.

The new birth an event of great importance. — The evidences of
the new birth. — Diversities of experience in Converts. — Ex-
amples.— Causes of diversity. - - - - 35

CHAPTER IV.

Causes of diversity in experience continued.— Effect of tempera-
ment.— Melancholy. — Advice to the friends of persons thus
affected. — Subject continued. — Illustrative cases. — Causes of
melancholy and insanity. - - - * 48

CHAPTER V.

Effect of sympathy illustrated. — Cautions in relation to this sub-
ject.— A singular case in illustration. - - 69

CHAPTER VI.

Erroneous views of regeneration. — The correct view. — The ope-
ration of faith. — Exercises of mind, as illustrated in Presi-
dent Edwards's Narrative. — The operations of faith still fur-
ther explained. - - - 79

CHAPTER VII.

Considerations on dreams, visions, &c. — Remarkable conversion
of a blind infidel from hearing the Bible read. - - 102

CHAPTER VIII.

Religious Conversation. — Stress laid by some on the know-
ledge of the time and place of conversion. — Religious ex-
perience of Halyburton. .... - 120

CHAPTER IX.

Christian experience of R C . — Narrative of Sir

Richard Hill's experience. - - - - - 1 34

CHAPTER X.

Imperfect sanctification. — The spiritual warfare. - - 156

* CONTENTS.

CHAPTER XI.

Narrative of G— — A S , an Episcopal Clergyman.

Narrative of a young Officer in the Army. - - - 167

CHAPTER XII.

The spiritual conflict. — Various exhibitions of it. — Evil thoughts.
A case in illustration. - - . - - 177

CHAPTER XIII.

Growth in grace. — Signs of it. — -Practical directions how to
grow in grace. — Hindrances to it. - - - 191

CHAPTER XIV

Backsliding. — The Backslider restored. - - - 205

CHAPTER XV.

The rich man and the poor. — The various trials of believers. 215

CHAPTER XVI.

Death-bed of the Believer. - - - - - 225

CHAPTER XVII.
Death-bed exercises of Andrew Rivet. - 234

CHAPTER XVIII.

Death-bed exercises and speeches of Rev. Thomas Halyburton. 250

CHAPTER XIX.

Dying Experience of Mr. John Janeway, the Rev. Edward Pay-
son, and Rev. Samuel Finley, D. D. - - - 259

CHAPTER XX.

Remarks on death-bed Exercises, with several illustrative ex-
amples. ----..- 271

CHAPTER XXI.

Death-bed exercises of Mr. Baxter, and the Rev. Thomas Scott,
D. D. - - - -, - - 282

CHAPTER XXII.

Preparation for death. — The state of the soul after death. 294

Prayer for one who feels that he is approaching the borders of
another world. - - - - - - 307

APPENDIX.

Letters to the Aged. - - ' - - . .313

Counsels of the Aged to the Young. - 343

Counsels to Christian Mothers. .... 374

Letter to a Mourning Afflicted Widow. ... 387

Letter to a Bereaved Widower. - - - 392

PREFACE

There are two kinds of religious knowledge,
which though intimately connected as cause
and effect, may nevertheless be distinguished.
These are the knowledge of the truth as it is
revealed in the Holy Scriptures, and the im-
pression which that truth makes on the human
mind when rightly apprehended. The firsj
may be compared to the inscription or image
on a seal; the other to the impression made
by the seal on the wax. When that impres-
sion is clearly and distinctly made, we can
understand, by contemplating it, the true in-
scription on the seal more satisfactorily, than
by a direct view of the seal itself. Thus it is
found, that nothing tends more to confirm and
elucidate the truths contained in the word,
than an inward experience of their efficacy on
the heart. It cannot, therefore, be uninterest-
ing to the Christian, to have these effects, as
they consist in the various views and affec-
tions of the mind, traced out, and exhibited
in their connexion with the truth, and in their

1* 5

PREFACE.

relation to each other. There is, however,
one manifest disadvantage, under which we
must labour, in acquiring this kind of know-
ledge, whether by our own experience, or that
of others; which is, that we are obliged to
follow a fallible guide; and the pathway to
this knowledge is very intricate, and the light
w^hich shines upon it, often obscure. All
investigations of the exercises of the human
mind are attended with difficulty; and never
more so, than when we attempt to ascertain
the religious or spiritual state of our hearts.
If, indeed, the impression of the truth were
perfect, there would exist little or no difficulty;
but when it is a mere outline and the linea-
ments obscure, it becomes extremely difficult
to determine whether it be the genuine im-
press of the truth : especially as in this case,
there will be much darkness and confusion in
the mind, and much that is of a nature di-
rectly opposite to the effects of the engrafted
word. There is, moreover, so great a variety
in the constitution of human minds, so much
diversity in the strength of the natural pas-
sions, and so wide a difference in the tempera-
ment of Christians, and so many different
degrees of piety, that the study of this depart-
ment of religious truth is exceedingly difficult.
In many cases the most experienced and skil-

PREFACE.

ful casuist will feel himself at a loss ; or may
utterly mistake, in regard to the true nature
of a case submitted to his consideration. The
complete knowledge of the deceitful heart of
man, is a prerogative of the omniscient God.
" I the Lord search the hearts and try the
reins of the children of men." But we are
not on this account forbidden to search into
this subject; so far is this from being true,
that we are repeatedly exhorted to examine
ourselves, in relation to this very point ; and
Paul expresses astonishment, that the Corin-
thian Christians should have made so little
progress in self-knowledge. " Examine your-
selves," says he, " whether you be in the
faith — prove your own selves — know ye not
that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be repro-
bates ?" In judging of religious experience, it
is all important to keep steadily in view the
system of divine truth, contained in the Holy
Scriptures; otherwise, our experience, as is
too often the case, will degenerate into en-
thusiasm. Many ardent professors, seem too
readily to take it for granted, that all religious
feelings must be good. They therefore take
no care to discriminate between the genuine
and the spurious, the pure gold and the tinsel.
Their only concern is about the ardour of
their feelings ; not considering, that if they are

PREFACE.

spurious, the more intense they are, the further
will they lead them astray. In our day, there
is nothing more necessary than to distinguish
carefully between true and false experiences,
in religion ; to " try the spirits whether they
are of God." And in making this discrimi-
nation, there is no other test but the infallible
" word of God ; let every thought, motive, im-
pulse and emotion, be brought to this touch-
stone. " To the law and the testimony ; if
they speak not according to these, it is because
there is no light in them."

If genuine religious experience is nothing
but the impression of divine truth on the
mind, by the energy of the Holy Spirit, then
it is evident that a knowledge of the truth is
essential to genuine piety; error never can,
under any circumstances, produce the effects
of truth. This is now generally acknow-
ledged. But it is not so clearly understood
by all, that any defect in Cur knowledge of
the truth, must, just so far as the error ex-
tends, mar the symmetry of the impression
produced. The error, in this case, is of course
not supposed to relate to fundamental truths,
for then there can be no genuine piety; but
where a true impression is made, it may be
rendered very defective, for want of a com-
plete knowledge of the whole system of re-

PREFACE.

vealed truth ; or its beauty marred by the ex-
istence of some errors mingled with the truth,
which may be well illustrated by returning
again to the seal. Suppose that some part of
the image inscribed on it has been defaced, or
that some of the letters have been obliterated,
it is evident, that when the impression is made
on the wax, there will be a corresponding de-
ficiency or deformity, although in the main
the impress may be correct. There is reason
to believe, therefore, that all ignorance of re-
vealed truth, or error respecting it, must be
attended with a corresponding defect in the
religious exercises of the person. This con-
sideration teaches us the importance of truth,
and the duty of increasing daily in the know-
ledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
This is the true and only method of growing
in grace. There may be much correct theo-
retical knowledge, I admit, where there is no
impression corresponding with it on the heart;
but still, all good impressions on the heart,
are from the truth, and from the truth alone.
Hence we find, that those denominations of
Christians which receive the system of evan-
gelical truth, only in part, have a defective
experience ; and their Christian character, as
a body, is so far defective; and even where
true piety exists, we often find a sad mixture

10 PREFACE.

of enthusiasm, self-righteousness, or supersti-
tion. And even where the theory of doctrinal
truth is complete, yet if there be an error
respecting the terms of Christian communion,
by narrowing the entrance into Christ's fold
to a degree which his word does not authorize,
this single error, whatever professions may be
made to the contrary with the lips, always
generates a narrow spirit of bigotry, which
greatly obstructs the free exercise of that
brotherly love which Christ made the badge
of discipleship.

If these things be so, then let all Christians
use unceasing diligence in acquiring a correct
knowledge of the truth as it is in Jesus ; and
let them pray without ceasing for the influ-
ence of the Holy Spirit, to render the truth
effectual in the sanctification of the whole
man, soul, body, and spirit. " Sanctify them

THROUGH THY TRUTH, THY WORD IS TRUTH,"

was a prayer offered up by Christ, in behalf
of all whom the Father had given him.

ADVERTISEMENT.

The following thoughts on Religious Experi-
ence, were, for the most part, published in
successive numbers, in the " Watchman of
the South," and thence transferred to several
other papers, belonging to different denomina-
tions ; so that they have been pretty widely
circulated through the religious community.
They were commenced without any view to
their being collected into a volume ; and, in-
deed, without any plan or purpose, in re-
gard to the extent to which the subject would
be pursued. They were generally written
hastily, in such fragments of time as could be
spared from the daily duties of an arduous
profession, and in a state of health far from
being perfect. This is the only apology
which the author has to offer, for the imper-
fections which will doubtless be found in
them. For although he has cursorily revised
them since the call was made for their re-pub-
lication, in this form, yet he has made no
alteration of any consequence. He is thank-

11

12 ADVERTISEMENT.

ful to God, that they have been made useful
to a single soul ; and that they may be ren-
dered still more so, is his humble prayer. He
would, however, inform the reader that one
third or one fourth of this volume, principally
the latter part, has never before been pub-
lished.

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE.

CHAPTER L

Early religious impressions — Different results—Classes of persons least
impressed— Examples of ineffectual impressions.

There is no necessity for any other proof of native
depravity, than the aversion, which children early
manifest to religious instruction and to spiritual exer-
cises. From this cause it proceeds, that many children,
who have the opportunity of a good religious educa-
tion, learn scarcely any thing of the most important
truths of Christianity. If they are compelled to com-
mit the catechism to memory, they are wont to do this
without ever thinking of the doctrines contained in the
words which they recite ; so that, when the attention
is at any time awakened to the subject of religion, as
a personal concern, they feel themselves to be com-
pletely ignorant of the system of divine truth taught in
the Bible. Yet even to these, the truths committed to
memory are now of great utility. They are like a
treasure which has been hidden, but is now discovered.
Of two persons under conviction of sin, one of whom
has had sound religious instruction, and the other none,
the former will have an unspeakable advantage over
the latter in many respects.

Many children, and especially those who have pious
parents, who speak to them of the importance of
salvation, are the subjects of occasional religious
impressions, of different kinds. Sometimes they are

2 13

14 THOUGHTS ON

alarmed by hearing an awakening sermon, or by the
sudden death of a companion of their own age ; or,
again, they are tenderly affected, even to tears, from
a consideration of the goodness and forbearance of
God, or from a representation of the love and suffer-
ings of Christ. There are also seasons of transport-
ing joy, which some experience, especially after being
tenderly affected with a sense of ingratitude to God
for his wonderful goodness, in sparing them and be-
stowing so many blessings upon them. These tran-
sient emotions of joy cannot always be easily accounted
for, but they are commonly preceded or accompanied
by a hope, or persuasion, that God is reconciled and
will receive them. In some cases it would be thought
that these juvenile exercises were indications of a
change of heart, did they not pass away like the
morning cloud, or early dew, so as even to be oblite-
rated from the mind which experienced them. Some
undertake to account for these religious impressions,
merely from the susceptible principle of human nature,
in connection with the external instructions of the
word, and some striking dispensations of Providence ;
but the cause assigned is not adequate, because the
same circumstances often exist, when no such effects
follow. Others ascribe them to the evil spirit, who is
ever seeking to deceive and delude unwary souls, by
inspiring them with a false persuasion of their good
estate, while they are in the gall of bitterness and
bonds of iniquity. While I would not deny that Satan
may take advantage of these transient exercises to
induce a false hope, I cannot be persuaded that he
produces these impressions ; for often the persons, be-
fore experiencing them, were as careless and stupid as
he could wish them to be ; and because the tendency
of these impressions is salutary. The youth, thus
affected, becomes more tender in conscience, forsakes
known sin before indulged, has recourse ta prayer, and
feels strong desires after eternal happiness. These are
not what Satan would effect, if he could ; unless we
could suppose that he was operating against himself,
which our Saviour has taught us to be impossible. I

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 15

am of opinion, therefore, that these transient impres-
sions should be ascribed to the common operations of
the Spirit of God, and may have some inexplicable
connection with the future conversion and salvation
of the person. There is a common practical error in
the minds of many Christians in regard to this matter.
They seem to think that nothing has any relation to
the conversion of the sinner, but that which imme-
diately preceded this event ; and the Christian is ready
to say, I was awakened under such a sermon, and
never had rest until I found it in Christ; making
nothing of all previous instructions and impressions.
So, when a revival occurs under the awakening dis-
courses of some evangelist, people are ready to think
that he only is the successful preacher whose labours
God owns and blesses ; whereas, he does but bring
forward to maturity, feelings and convictions, which
have been long secretly forming and growing within
the soul, but so imperceptibly, that the person himself
wTas little sensible of any change. It may be justly
and scripturally compared to a growing crop : after
the seed is sown it vegetates, we know not how, and
then it receives daily the sun's influence, and from
time to time, refreshing showers ; but about the time
of earing, after a long drought, there comes a plentiful
shower, by means of which, nutriment is afforded for
the formation of the full corn in the ear. No one will
dispute the importance and eflicacy of this last shower
in maturing the grain ; but had there been no cultiva-
tion and no showers long before, this had never pro-
duced any effect.

Whether those who are never converted, are the
subjects of these religious impressions, as well as
those who are afterwards brought to faith in Christ,
is a question not easily answered. That they expe-
rience dreadful alarms and pungent convictions at
times, and also tender drawings, cannot be doubted ;
but whether those " chosen in Christ" are not, in their
natural state, subject to impressions which others
never experience, must remain undetermined, since
we know so little of the real state of the hearts of

16 THOUGHTS ON

most men; but as there is, undoubtedly, a special
providence exercised by Christ over those sheep not
yet called into the fold, I cannot but think it probable
that they are often influenced by the. Holy Spirit in a
peculiar manner, to guard them against fatal errors
and destructive habits, and to prepare them, by de-
grees, to receive the truth.

We know very little, however, of what is passing
in the minds of thousands around us. The zealous
preacher often concludes and laments that there is no
impression on the minds of his hearers, when, if the
covering of the human heart could be withdrawn,
he would be astonished and confounded at the variety
and depth of the feelings experienced. Those impres-
sions which manifest themselves by a flow of tears,
are not the deepest, but often very superficial ; while
the most awful distresses of the soul are entirely con-
cealed by a kind of hypocrisy, which men early learn
to practise, to hide their feelings of a religious kind
from their fellow-creatures. A man may be so much
in despair as to be meditating suicide, when his nearest
friends know nothing of it. The attempt at imme-
diate effect, and the expectation of it, is one of the
errors of the present times ; indeed, it is the very
watch-word of a certain party. But let us not be
misunderstood ; we do not mean to say that all men
are not under indispensable obligations immediately to
obey all the commands of God. Concerning this,
there can be no difference of opinion. But the per-
sons to whom we refer seem to think that nothing
is done towards the salvation of men, but at the mo-
ment of their conversion, and that every good effect
must be at once manifest. Perhaps some one may
infer that we believe in a gradual regeneration, and
that special grace differs from common, only in degree ;
but such an inference would be utterly false, for there
can be no medium between life and death ; but we do
profess to believe and maintain, that there is a gradual
preparation, by common grace, for regeneration, which
may be going on from childhood to mature age ; and
we believe that, as no mortal can tell the precise mo-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 17

ment when the soul is vivified, and as the principle
of spiritual life in its commencement is often very
feeble, so it is an undoubted truth, that the develop-
ment of the new life in the soul may be, and often is,
very slow ; and not unfrequently that which is called
conversion is nothing else but a more sensible and
vigorous exercise of a principle which has long ex-
isted. Just as the seed under ground may have life,
and may be struggling to come forth to open day ;
but it may meet with various obstructions and unfa-
vourable circumstances which retard its growth. At
length, however, it makes its way through the earth,
and expands its leaves to the light and the air, and
begins to drink in from every source that nutriment
which it needs. No one supposes, however, that the
moment of its appearing above ground is the com-
mencement of its life ; but this mistake is often made
in the analogous case of the regeneration of the soul.
The first clear and lively exercise of faith and repent-
ance is made the date of the origin of spiritual life,
whereas it existed in a feeble state, and put forth ob-
scure acts long before. I find, however, that I am
anticipating a discussion intended for another part of
this work.

At present, I wish only to remark further, that what
has been said about early impressions and juvenile
exercises of religion is not applicable to all.

There are, alas ! many who seem to remain un-
moved amidst all the light and means by which most
are surrounded in this land ; and these, too, are often
found in the families of the pious, and do actually
pass through more than one revival without par-
taking of any unusual influence, or experiencing any
strong religious feeling. Esau had a title to the birth-
right, and yet he so despised this peculiar blessing,
that he actually sold it for " a mess of pottage/'
Abraham, too, had his Ishmael, and Jacob a troop of
ungodly children. Eli's sons were wicked in the
extreme, and Samuel's came not up to what was
expected from the children of such a father. Among
all David's children we read of none who feared God

2*

18 THOUGHTS ON

but Solomon. Those, however, who become extremely
wicked have often resisted the strivings of the Spirit ;
and not unfrequently the most impious blasphemers
and atheists have once been much under the influence
of religious light and feeling ; but quenching the Spirit,
have been given up to " believe a lie," and " to work
all uncleanness with greediness."

We have said that there are some persons who
grow up to manhood without experiencing any reli-
gious impressions, except mere momentary thoughts of
death, and judgment ; and these may be persons of
a very amiable disposition and moral deportment ;
and these very qualities may be, in part, the reason
of their carelessness. They commit no gross sins,
the remembrance of which wounds the conscience.
Being of a calm and contented temper, and fond of
taking their ease, they shun religious reflection, and
turn away their thoughts from the truth, when it is
presented to them from the pulpit. Some persons, of
this description, have been awakened and converted,
at mature age, and have then confessed, that they
lived as much without God as atheists, and seldom,
if ever, extended their thoughts to futurity. Of course
they utterly neglected secret prayer, and lived in the
midst of gospel light, without being in the least affect-
ed by it.

There is, moreover, another class, who seem never
to feel the force of religious truth. They are such as
spend their whole waking hours in the giddy whirl of
amusement or company. Full of health and spirits,
and sanguine in their hopes of enjoyment from the
world, they put away serious reflection as the very
bane of pleasure. The very name of religion is hate-
ful to them : and all they ask of religious people is to
let them alone, that they may seize the pleasures of life
while within their reach. If we may judge from ap-
pearances, this class is very large. We find them the
majority in many places of fashionable resort. The
theatre, the ball-room, and the very streets are full of
such. They flutter gaily along, and keep each other
in countenance ; while they are strangers to all grave

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 19

reflection, even in regard to the sober concerns of this
life. If a pious friend ever gets the opportunity of
addressing a word of serious advice to them, their
politeness may prevent them from behaving rudely,
but no sooner is his back turned, than they laugh him
to scorn, and hate and despise him for his pains. They
habituate themselves to think that religion is an awk-
ward unseemly thing, and wonder how any person
of sense can bear to attend to it. Very often this
high reverie of pleasure is short : in such a world as
this, events are apt to occur, which dash the cup of
sensual delights, while it is at the lips. Death will
occasionally intrude even upon this gay circle, and
put a speedy end to their unreasonable merriment.
0 how sad is the spectacle, to see one of the votaries
of fashion suddenly cut down, and carried to the
grave !— When mortal sickness seizes such persons,
they are very apt to be delirious, if not with fever,
yet with fright; and their officious but cruel friends
make it their chief study, to bar out every idea of
religion, and to flatter the poor dying creature with
the hope of recovery, until death has actually seized
his prey. Such an event produces a shock in the
feelings of survivors of the same class, but such is
the buoyancy of their feelings, and their forgetfulness
of mournful events, that they are soon seen dancing
along their slippery path, with as much insane thought-
lessness, as before. Nothing, which ever occurs, tends
so much to disturb the career of this multitude, as
when one of their number is converted unto God. At
first they are astounded, and for a moment pause,
but they soon learn to ascribe the change to some
natural cause, or to some strange capriciousness of
temper, or disappointment in earthly hopes. Very
soon you will see them as much estranged from such
an one, although before an intimate friend, as if he
had never been of the number of their acquaintances.
Often his nearest relatives are ashamed of him, and,
as much as possible, shun his company. How ab-
surd then is it, for any to pretend, that men naturally
love God, and only need to know his character to

20 THOUGHTS ON

revere it ! If there be a truth established beyond all
reasonable question, by uniform experience, it is, that
lovers of pleasure are the enemies of God.

The class of speculating, money-making, business-
doing men, is probably as numerous, and, though
more sober in their thoughts, yet as far from God, and
as destitute of religion as those already described ;
but as we find these not commonly among the youth,
but middle aged, we shall not attempt to delineate
their character, or describe their feelings. I must
return to the consideration of early religious impres-
sions which do not terminate in a sound conversion
to God. Some five and forty years ago, I was fre-
quently in a family where the parents, though respect-
ers of religion, were not professors. They had a
sweet, amiable little daughter, eight or ten years of
age, who had all the appearance of eminent piety.
She loved the Bible, loved preaching and religious
people, was uniform and constant in retiring for devo-
tional exercises, and spoke freely, when asked, of the
feelings of her own mind. . I think I never had less
doubt of any one's piety than of this little girl's.
There was no forwardness, nor pertness ; nor any
assumption of sanctimonious airs. All was simplicity,
modesty, and consistency ; she was grave but not de-
mure ; solemn and tender in her feelings, without
affectation. She applied for admission to the commu-
nion— and who dare refuse entrance into the fold to
such a dear lamb? Here my personal acquaintance
ends. But years afterwards, upon inquiry, I found
that when she grew up to womanhood, she became
gay and careless, and entirely relinquished her religious
profession. My Methodist neighbour, I know, if he
had the chance to whisper in my ear, would say, " I
have no difficulty in accounting for this case ; she was
a child of God, but fell from grace." But I have
never been able to adopt this method of explaining
such phenomena. There are few truths of which I
have a more unwavering conviction, than that the
sheep of Christ, for whom he laid down his life, shall
never perish. I do believe, however, that grace may,

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 21

for a season, sink so low in the heart into which it has
entered, and be so overborne and buried up, that none
but God can perceive its existence. Now, that may
have been the fact in regard to this dear child ; for her
later history is unknown to me. She may, for aught I
know, be still alive, and be now a living, consistent
member of Christ's Church, and may possibly peruse
these lines, though if she should she may not recog-
nize her own early features, taken down from memory
after the lapse of so many years. But the picture is
not of one person only, but of many; differing only in
trivial circumstances.

I retain a distinct recollection of another case of a
still earlier date ; and where the history is more com-
plete. An obscure youth, the son of religious parents,
in a time of awakening, seemed to have his attention
drawn to the concerns of his soul ; so that he seriously
and diligently attended on all religious meetings. He
had the appearance of deep humility ; and though free
to speak, when interrogated, was in no respect forward
or self-sufficient. Indeed, he was scarcely known, or
noticed, by the religious people who were in the habit
of attending prayer meetings. It happened, that on
an inclement evening, very few were present, and none
of those who were accustomed to take a part in lead-
ing the devotional exercises. The person, at whose
house the meeting was held, not wishing to dismiss
the few who were present, with a single prayer, asked
this youth if he would not attempt to make a prayer.
He readily assented, and performed this service with
so much fervency, fluency, and propriety of expression,
that all who heard it were astonished. From this time
he was called upon more frequently than any other,
and often in the public congregation ; for some people
preferred his prayers to any sermons ; and I must say,
that I never heard any one pray, who seemed to me to
have such a gift of prayer. The most appropriate
passages of Scripture seemed to come to him in rapid
succession, as if by inspiration. Now the common
cry was, that he ought to be taken from the trade
which he was learning, (for he was an apprentice) —

22 THOUGHTS ON

and be put to study. The thing demanded by so
many, was not difficult to accomplish. He began a
regular course of academical studies, and his progress,
though not extraordinary, was respectable. But, alas !
how weak is man — how deceitful is the heart ! This
young man soon began to exhibit evidence too plain,
that conceit and self-confidence were taking root and
growing very rapidly. He became impatient of oppo-
sition, arrogant towards his superiors, and unwilling to
yield to reproof administered in the most paternal
spirit. When the time came to enter upon trials for
the ministry, the Presbytery, to which he applied, re-
fused to receive him under their care. But this solemn
rebuff, instead of humbling him, only provoked his
indignation, and, as if in despite of them, he turned at
once to the study of another profession, in which he
might have succeeded had he remained moral and
temperate in his habits ; but falling into bad company,
he became dissipated, and soon came, without any
known reformation, to a premature end. Now sup-
pose this man had been permitted to enter the ministry,
the probability is, that though his unchristian temper
would have done much evil, yet he would have con-
tinued in the sacred office to his dying day. " Let him
that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall."

CHAPTER II.

Piety in children — Comparatively few renewed in infancy and childhood-
Soul awakened in different ways — Legal conviction not a necessary part
of true religion — Progress of conviction.

It is an interesting question, whether now there are
any persons sanctified from the womb. If the com-
munication of grace ever took place, at so early a
period of human existence, there is no reason why it
should not now sometimes occur. God says to Jere-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 23

miah, " Before I formed thee in the belly, I knew thee,
and before thou earnest forth out of the womb, I sanc-
tified thee." And of John the Baptist, Gabriel said to
Zacharias, his father, "And he shall be filled with the
Holy Ghost, even from his mother's womb." The
prophet Samuel also seems to have feared the Lord
from his earliest childhood. In later times, cases have
often occurred, in which eminently pious persons could
not remember the time when they did not love the
Saviour and experience godly sorrow for their sins;
and, as we believe that infants may be the subjects
of regeneration, and cannot be saved without it, why
may it not be the fact, that some who are regenerated
live to mature age ? I know, indeed, that many con-
ceive that infants are naturally free from moral pollu-
tion, and, of course, need no regeneration ; but this
opinion is diametrically opposite to the doctrine of
Scripture, and inconsistent with the acknowledged fact,
that, as soon as they are capable of moral action, all
do go astray, and sin against God. If children were
not depraved, they would be naturally inclined to love
God, and delight in his holy law ; but the reverse is
true. Perhaps one reason why so few are regenerated
at this early age is, lest some should adopt the opinion
that grace came by nature, or that man was not cor-
rupt from his birth. Some have opposed the idea that
any are sanctified from their birth, for fear that mere
moralists and those religiously educated should in-
dulge the hope that they were born of God, although
they have experienced no particular change, in any
part of their lives, as far back as memory reaches.
But, allowing that some may improperly make this
use of the doctrine, it only proves that a sound doc-
trine may be abused. All the doctrines of grace have
been thus abused, and will be, as long as " the heart is
deceitful above all things." There is, however, no
ground for those who are still impenitent, to comfort
themselves with the notion that they were regenerated
in early infancy ; for piety in a child will be as mani-
fest as in an adult, as soon as such a child comes to the
exercise of reason ; and in some respects, more so,

24 THOUGHTS ON

because there are so few young children who are
pious, and because they have more simplicity of cha-
racter, and are much less liable to play the hypocrite
than persons of mature age. Mere decency of exter-
nal behaviour, with a freedom from gross sins, is no
evidence of regeneration; for these things may be
found in many whose spirit is proud and self-righteous,
and entirely opposite to the religion of Christ : and we
know that outward regularity and sobriety may be
produced by the restraints of a religious education and
good example, where there are found none of the in-
ternal characteristics of genuine piety. Suppose then,
that, in a certain case, grace has been communicated
at so early a period, that its first exercises cannot be
remembered, what will be the evidences which we
should expect to find of its existence ? Surely, we
ought not to look for the wisdom, judgment, and sta-
bility of adult years, even in a pious child. We should
expect, if I may say so, a childish piety — -a simple,
devout, and tender state of heart. As soon as such a
child should obtain the first ideas of God, as its Creator,
Preserver, and Benefactor, and of Christ, as its Saviour,
who shed his blood and laid down his life for us on
the cross, it would be piously affected with these truths,
and would give manifest proof, that it possessed a sus-
ceptibility of emotions and affections of heart, corre-
sponding with the conceptions of truth which it was
capable of taking in. Such a child would be liable to
sin, as all Christians are, but, when made sensible of
faults, it would manifest tenderness of conscience and
genuine sorrow, and would be fearful of sinning after-
wards. When taught that prayer was both a duty
and a privilege, it would take pleasure in drawing nigh
to God, and would be conscientious in the discharge
of secret duties. A truly pious child would be an
affectionate and obedient child to its parents and teach-
ers; kind to brothers and sisters, and indeed, to all
other persons; and would take a lively interest in
hearing of the conversion of sinners, and the advance-
ment of Christ's kingdom in the world. We ought
not to expect from a regenerated child uniform atten-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 25

tion to serious subjects, or a freedom from that gaiety
and volatility which are characteristic of that tender
age ; but we should expect to find the natural propen-
sity moderated, and the temper softened and seasoned,
by the commingling of pious thoughts and affections
with those which naturally flow from the infant mind.
When such children are called, in Providence, to
leave the world, then commonly their piety breaks
out into a flame, and these young saints, under the
influence of divine grace, are enabled so to speak of
their love to Christ and confidence in him, as aston-
ishes, while it puts to shame aged Christians. Many
examples of this kind we have on record, where the
evidence of genuine piety was as strong as it well
could be. There is a peculiar sweetness, as well as
tenderness, in these early buddings of grace. In short,
the exercises of grace are the same in a child as in an
adult, only modified by the peculiarities in the charac-
ter and knowledge of a child. Indeed, many adults
in years, who are made the subjects of grace, are
children in knowledge and understanding, and require
the same indulgence, in our judgments of them, as
children in years.

To those who cannot fix any commencement of their
pious exercises, but who possess every other evidence
of a change of heart, I would say, be not discouraged
on this account, but rather be thankful that you have
been so early placed under the tender care of the great
Shepherd, and have thus been restrained from com-
mitting many sins, to which your nature, as well as
that of others, was inclined. The habitual evidences
of piety are the same, at whatever period the work
commenced. If you possess these, you are safe ; and
early piety is probably more steady and consistent
when matured by age, than that of later origin, though
the change, of course, cannot be so evident to your-
selves or others.

If piety may commence at any age, how solicitous
should parents be for their children, that God would
bestow his grace upon them, even before they know
their right hand from their left; and, when about to

3

26 THOUGHTS ON

dedicate them to God, in holy baptism, how earnestly
should they pray that they might be baptized with
the Holy Ghost — that while their bodies are washed
in the emblematical laver of regeneration, their souls
may experience the renewing of the Holy Ghost, and
the sprinkling of the blood of Jesus. If the sentiments,
expressed above, be correct, then may there be such a
thing as baptismal regeneration; not that the mere
external application of water can have any effect to
purify the soul; nor that internal grace uniformly or
generally, accompanies this external washing, but that
God, who works when and by what means he pleases,
may regenerate by his Spirit, the soul of the infant,
while in his sacred name, water is applied to the body.
And, what time in infancy is more likely to be the
period of spiritual quickening, than the moment when
that sacred rite is performed, which is strikingly em-
blematical of this change? Whether it be proper to
say that baptism maybe the means of regeneration,
depends on the sense in which the word means is
used. If in the sense of presenting motives to the
rational mind, as when the word is read or heard, then
it is not a means; for the child has no knowledge of
what is done for it. But, if by means, be understood
something which is accompanied by the divine effi-
ciency, changing the moral nature of the infant, then,
in this sense, baptism may be called the means of
regeneration when thus accompanied by divine grace.
The reason why it is believed, that regeneration does
not usually accompany baptism, is simply because no
evidences of spiritual life appear in baptized children,
more than in those which remain unbaptized.

The education of children should proceed on the
principle that they are in an unregenerate state, until
evidences of piety clearly appear, in which case, they
should be sedulously cherished and nurtured. These
are Christ's lambs — "little ones, who believe in him"
whom none should offend or mislead upon the peril
of a terrible punishment. But though the religious
education of children should proceed on the ground

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 27

that they are destitute of grace, it ought ever to be used
as a means of grace. Every lesson, therefore, should
be accompanied with the lifting up of the heart of the
instructer to God for a blessing on the means. " Sanc-
tify them through thy truth; thy word is truth."

Although the grace of God may be communicated
to a human soul, at any period of its existence, in this
world; yet the fact manifestly is, that very few are
renewed before the exercise of reason commences ;
and not many, in early childhood. Most persons,
with whom we have been acquainted, grew up with-
out giving any decisive evidence of a change of heart.
Though religiously educated, yet they have evinced
a want of love to God, and an aversion to spiritual
things. Men are very reluctant, it is true, to admit
that their hearts are wicked, and at enmity with God.
They declare that they are conscious of no such feel-
ing, but still the evidence of a dislike to the spiritual
worship of God, they cannot altogether disguise ; and
this is nothing else but enmity to God. They might
easily be convicted of loving the world more than
God, the creature more than the Creator ; and we
know that he, who will be the friend of the world, is
the enemy of God. Let the most moral and amiable
of mankind, who are in this natural state, be asked
such questions as these, Do you take real pleasure
in perusing the sacred Scriptures, especially those
parts which are most spiritual? Do you take delight
in secret prayer, and find your heart drawn out to
God, in strong desires ? Do you spend much time in
contemplating the divine attributes ? 'Are you in the
habit of communing with your own hearts, and ex-
amining the true temper of your souls? No unregene-
rate persons can truly answer these, and such like
questions, in the affirmative. It is evident, then, that
most persons, whom we see around us, and with
whom we daily converse, are in the gall of bitterness
and bond of iniquity, and, continuing in that state,
where Christ is they never can come. And yet, alas !
they are at ease in Zion ; and seem to have no fear of

28 THOUGHTS ON

that wrath which is coming. Their case is not only
dangerous, but discouraging. Yet those who are now
in a state of grace, yea, those of our race who are
now in heaven, were once in the same condition.
You, my reader, may now be a member of Christ's
body, and heir of his glory; but you can easily look
back, and remember the time, when you were as un-
concerned about your salvation, as any of the gay,
who are now fluttering around you. The same
power which arrested you, is able to stop their mad
career. Still hope and pray for their conversion.
But tell me, how were you brought to turn from your
wayward, downward course ? This, as it relates to
the external means of awakening, would receive a
great variety of answers. One would say, "While
hearing a particular sermon, I was awakened to see
my lost estate, and I never found rest or peace until I
was enabled to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ."
Another would answer, " I was brought to consider-
ation, by the solemn and pointed conversation of a
pious friend, who sought my salvation." While a
third would answer, " I was led to serious considera-
tion, by having the hand of God laid heavily upon me,
in some affliction." In regard to many, the answer
would be, that their minds were gradually led to
serious consideration, they scarcely know how. Now,
in regard to these external means or circumstances, it
matters not, whether the attention was arrested, and
the conscience awakened, by this or that means,
gradually or suddenly. Neither do these things at all
assist in determining the nature of the effect produced.
All who ever became pious must have begun with
serious consideration, whatever means were employed
to produce this state of mind. But all who, for a sea-
son, become serious, are not certainly converted.
There may be solemn impressions and deep awaken-
ings which never terminate in a saving change, but
end in some delusion, or the person returns again to
his old condition, or rather to one much worse ; for it
may be laid down as a maxim, that religious impres-
sions opposed, leave the soul in a more hardened state

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 29

than before ; just as iron, heated and then cooled, be-
comes harder. In general, those impressions which
come on gradually, without any unusual means, are
more permanent than those which are produced by
circumstances of a striking and alarming nature. But
even here there is no general rule. The nature of the
permanent effects is the only sure criterion. " By their
fruits ye shall know them."

That conviction of sin is a necessary part of ex-
perimental religion, all will admit; but there is one
question respecting this matter, concerning which
there may be much doubt; and that is, whether a
law-work, prior to regeneration, is necessary ; or,
whether all true and salutary conviction is not the
effect of regeneration. I find that a hundred years
ago, this was a matter in dispute between the two
parties, into which the Presbyterian church was divi-
ded, called the old and new side. The Tennents and
Blairs insisted much on the necessity of conviction of
sin, by the law, prior to regeneration ; while Thompson
and his associates were of opinion, that no such work
was necessary, nor should be insisted on. As far as
I know, the opinion of the necessity of legal convic-
tion has generally prevailed in all our modern revi-
vals : and it is usually taken for granted, that the con-
victions experienced are prior to regeneration. But
it would be very difficult to prove from Scripture, or
from the nature of the case, that such a preparatory
work was necessary. Suppose an individual to be,
in some certain moment, regenerated ; such a soul
would begin to see with new eyes, and his own sins
would be among the things first viewed in a new
light. He would be convinced, not only of the fact
that they were transgressions of the law, but he would
also see, that they were intrinsically evil, and deserved
the punishment to which they exposed him. It is
only such a conviction as this that really prepares a
soul to accept of Christ in all his offices ; not only as a
Saviour from wrath, but from sin. And it can scarcely
be believed, that that clear view of the justice of God,
in their condemnation; which most persons sensibly ex-

3 *

SO THOUGHTS ON

perience, is the fruit of a mere legal conviction, on an
nnregenerate heart. For this view of God's justice
is not merely of the fact, that this is his character, but
of the divine excellency of his attributes, which is
accompanied with admiration of it, and. a feeling of ac-
quiescence or submission. This view is sometimes so
clear, and the equity and propriety of punishing sin are
so manifest, and the feeling of acquiescence so strong,
that it has laid the foundation for the very absurd
opinion, that the true penitent is made willing to be
damned for the glory of God. When such a convic-
tion as this is experienced, the soul is commonly nigh
to comfort, although at the moment it is common to
entertain the opinion, that there is no salvation for it.
It is wonderful, and almost unaccountable, how calm
the soul is in the prospect of being for ever lost. An
old lady of the Baptist denomination was the first
person I ever heard give an account of Christian
experience, and I recollect that she said that she was
so deeply convinced that she should be lost, that she
began to think how she should feel and be exercised
in hell ; and it occurred to her, that all in that horrid
place were employed in blaspheming the name of
God. The thought of doing so was rejected with
abhorrence, and she felt as if she must and would love
him, even there, for his goodness to her ; for she saw
that she alone was to blame for her destruction, and
that He could, in consistence with his character, do
nothing else but inflict this punishment on her. Now
surely her heart was already changed, although not a
ray of comfort had dawned upon her mind. But is
there not before this, generally, a rebellious rising
against God, and a disposition to find fault with his
dealings ? It may be so in many cases, but this feel-
ing is far from being as universal as some suppose.
As far as the testimony of pious people can be de-
pended on, there are many whose first convictions are
of the evil of sin, rather than of its danger, and who
feel real compunction of spirit for having committed
it, accompanied with a lively sense of their ingratitude.
This question, however, is not of any great practical

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 31

importance ; but there are some truly pious persons
who are distressed and perplexed, because they never
experienced that kind of conviction which they hear
others speak of, and the necessity of which is insisted
on by some preachers. Certainly that which the
reprobate may experience — which is not different
from what all the guilty will feel at the day of judg-
ment— cannot be a necessary part of true religion ;
and yet it does appear to be a common thing for
awakened persons to be at first under a mere legal
conviction.

Though man, in his natural state, is spiritually
dead, that is, entirely destitute of any spark of true
holiness, yet is he still a reasonable being, and has a
conscience by which he is capable of discerning the
difference between good and evil, and of feeling the
force of moral obligation. By having his sins brought
clearly before his mind, and his conscience awakened
from its stupor, he can be made to feel what his true
condition is as a transgressor of the holy law of God.
This sight and sense of sin, under the influence of the
common operations of the Spirit of God, is what is
usually styled conviction of sin. And there can be
no doubt that these views and feelings may be very
clear and strong in an unrenewed mind. Indeed,
they do not differ in kind from what every sinner will
experience at the day of judgment, when his own
conscience will condemn him, and he will stand guilty
before his judge. But there is nothing in this kind of
conviction which has any tendency to change the
heart, or to make it better. Some indeed have main-
tained, with some show of reason, that under mere
legal conviction, the sinner grows worse and worse :
and certainly he sees his sins to be greater in propor-
tion as the light of truth increases. There is not,
therefore, in such convictions, however clear and
strong, any approximation to regeneration. It cannot
be called a preparatory work to this change, in the
sense of disposing the person to receive the grace of
God. The only end which it can answer is to show
the rational creature his true condition, and to con-

32 THOUGHTS ON

vince the sinner of his absolute need of a Saviour.
Under conviction there is frequently a more sensible
rising of the enmity of the heart against God and his
law; but feelings of this kind do not belong to the
essence of conviction. There is also sometimes an
awful apprehension of danger; the imagination is fill-
ed with strong images of terror, and hell seems almost
uncovered to the view of the convinced sinner. But
there may be much of this feeling of terror, where
there is very little real conviction of sin ; and on the
other hand, there often is deep and permanent convic-
tion, where the passions and imagination are very little
excited.

When the entrance of light is gradual, the first ef-
fect of an awakened conscience is, to attempt to rec-
tify what now appears to have been wrong in the
conduct. It is very common for the conscience, at
first, to be affected with outward acts of transgres-
sion, and especially with some one prominent offence.
An external reformation is now begun: for this can
be effected by mere legal conviction. To this is added
an attention to the external duties of religion, such
as prayer, reading the Bible, hearing the word, &c.
Every thing, however, is done with a legal spirit;
that is, with the wish and expectation of making
amends for past offences; and if painful penances
should be prescribed to the sinner, he will readily
submit to them if he may, by this means, make some
atonement for his sins. But as the light increases, he
begins to see that his heart is wicked ; and to be con-
vinced that his very prayers are polluted for want of
right motives and affections. He, of course, tries to
regulate his thoughts, and to exercise right affections ;
but here his efforts prove fruitless. It is much easier
to reform the life than to bring the corrupt heart into
a right state. The case now begins to appear despe-
rate, and the sinner knows not which way to turn
for relief, and, to cap the climax of his distress, he
comes at length to be conscious of nothing but un-
yielding hardness of heart. He fears that the con-
viction which he seemed to have, is gone, and that he

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 33

is left to total obduracy. In these circumstances he
desires to feel keen compunction, and overwhelming
terror, for his impression is, that he is entirely without
conviction. The truth, however, is, that his convic-
tions are far greater, than if he experienced that sen-
sible distress which he so much courts. In this case,
he would not think his heart so incurably bad, because
it could entertain some right feeling, but as it is, he
sees it to be destitute of every good emotion, and of
all tender relentings. He has got down to the core of
iniquity, and finds within his breast a heart unsuscep-
tible of any good thing. Does he hear that others
have obtained relief by hearing such a preacher, read-
ing such a book, conversing with some experienced
Christian? he resorts to the same means, but entirely
without effect. The heart seems to become more in-
sensible, in proportion to the excellence of the means
enjoyed. Though he declares he has no sensibility of
any kind, yet his anxiety increases ; and perhaps he
determines to give himself up solely to prayer and
reading the Bible ; and if he perish, to perish seeking
for mercy. But however strong such resolutions may
be, they are found to be in vain; for now, when he at-
tempts to pray, he finds his mouth as it were shut.
He cannot pray. He cannot read. He cannot medi-
tate. What can he do ? Nothing. He has come to
the end of his legal efforts ; and the result has been,
the simple, deep conviction that he can do nothing ;
and if God does not mercifully interpose, he must in-
evitably perish. During all this process he has some
idea of his need of divine help ; but until now, he
was not entirely cut off from all dependence on his
own strength and exertions. He still hoped that, by
some kind of effort or feeling, he could prepare him-
self for the mercy of God. Now he despairs of this;
and not only so, but for a season he despairs, it may
be, of salvation — gives himself up for lost. I do not
say, that this is a necessary feeling, by any means,
but I know that it is very natural, and by no means un-
common, in real experience. But conviction having
accomplished all that it is capable of effecting, that is,

34 THOUGHTS ON

having emptied the creature of self-dependence and
self-righteousness, and brought him to the utmost ex-
tremity— even to the borders of despair, it is time for
God to work. The proverb says, " Man's extremity
is God's opportunity:" so it is in this case ; and at this
time, it may reasonably be supposed, the work of re-
generation is wrought ; for a new state of feeling is
now experienced. Upon calm reflection, God ap-
pears to have been just and good in all his dispensa-
tions ; the blame of its perdition the soul fully takes
upon itself; acknowledges its ill-desert, and acquits
God. "Against thee, thee only, have I sinned and
done this evil in thy sight, that thou mightest be justi-
fied when thou speakest, and be clear when thou
judgest." The sinner resigns himself into the hands
of God ; and yet is convinced that if he does perish,
he will suffer only what his sins deserve. He does
not fully discover the glorious plan according to which
God can be just and the justifier of the ungodly who
believe in Jesus Christ.

The above is not given as a course of experience
which all real Christians can recognize as their own,
but as a train of exercises which is very common.
And as I do not consider legal conviction as necessary
to precede regeneration, but suppose there are cases
in which the first serious impressions may be the ef-
fect of regeneration, I cannot, of course, consider any
particular train of exercises under the law as essen-
tial. It has been admitted, however, that legal con-
viction does in fact take place in most instances, prior
to regeneration ; and it is not an unreasonable inquiry,
why is the sinner thus awakened ? What good pur-
pose does it answer? The reply has been already
partially given ; but it may be remarked, that God
deals with man as an accountable, moral agent, and
before he rescues him from the ruin into which he is
sunk, he would let him see and feel, in some measure,
how wretched his condition is; how helpless he is in
himself, and how ineffectual are his most strenuous
efforts to deliver him from his sin and misery. He
is, therefore, permitted to try his own wisdom and

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 35

strength. And finally, God designs to lead him to the
full acknowledgment of his own guilt, and to justify the
righteous Judge who condemns him to everlasting tor-
ment. Conviction, then, is no part of a sinner's salva-
tion, but the clear practical knowledge of the fact that
he cannot save himself, and is entirely dependent on
the saving grace of God.

CHAPTER III.

The new birth an event of great importance. — The evidences of the new
birth. — Diversities of experience in converts. — Examples. — Causes of
diversity.

There is no more important event, which occurs in
our world, than the new birth of an immortal soul.
Heirs to titles and estates, to kingdoms and empires,
are frequently born, and such events are blazoned
with imposing pomp, and celebrated by poets and
orators; but what are all these honours and posses-
sions but the gewgaws of children, when compared
with the inheritance and glory to which every child
of God is born an heir! But this being a birth from
above, and all the blessings and privileges of the
young heir, of a hidden and spiritual nature, the
world around cannot be expected to take a lively in-
terest in the event. It is with the children of God as
with the divine Saviour; "the world knoweth them
not, as it knew him not," The night on which He
was born, there was a great crowd of the descendants
of David, collected from every part of the Holy land,
where they were scattered abroad ; but none of all
these knew that a Saviour was born that night. Yet
the angels celebrated the event in a truly celestial
hymn, and announced the glad tidings to a company
of simple shepherds, who were watching their flocks
in the open field. So these celestial inhabitants, the
messengers of God, take a lively interest still in events

36 THOUGHTS ON

in which a gay and ungodly world feel no concern.
For "there is joy in the presence of the angels of God
over one sinner that repenteth." How they know
certainly when a soul is born to God, we need not
inquire ; for they have faculties and sources of know-
ledge, unknown to us. We know that " they are all
ministering spirits, sent forth to minister for them who
shall be heirs of salvation ;" but how they carry on
their ministry we cannot tell. If the evil spirit can
inject evil thoughts into our minds, why may not good
spirits suggest pious thoughts, or occasionally make
sudden impressions for our warning, or change, by
some means, the train of our thoughts? No doubt
the devil soon learns the fact, when a sinner is con-
verted unto God ; for he has then lost a subject, and,
perhaps, no conversion ever takes place, which he
does not use every effort to prevent.

But; to return to our subject, the implantation of
spiritual life in a soul dead in sin, is an event, the
consequences of which will never end. When you
plan.t an acorn, and it grows, you expect not to see the
maturity, much less the end of the majestic oak, which
will expand its boughs and strike deeply into the earth
its roots. The fierce blast of centuries of winters may
beat upon it and agitate it; but it resists them all. Yet
finally this majestic oak, and all its towering branches,
must fall. Trees die with old age, as well as men.
But the plants of grace shall ever live. They shall
flourish in everlasting verdure. They will bear trans-
planting to another clime — to another world. , They
shall bloom and bear fruit in the paradise of God. At
such an hour one is born in Zion unto God. Few
.know it — few care for the event, or consider it of
much importance. But, reader, this feeble germ —
this incipient bud, will go on to grow and flourish for
infinitely more years than there are sands upon the
sea-shore. To drop the figure. This renewed soul
will be seen and known among the saints in heaven,
and assisting in the never-ceasing songs of those who
surround the throne of God and the Lamb, millions of
ages hereafter. Pure and holy shall it be — " without

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 37

spot or wrinkle or any such thing. " Bright as an
angel, and as free from moral taint — but still distin-
guished from those happy beings, to whom it is equal,
by singing a song in which they can never join — in
wearing robes made white in the blood of the Lamb ;
and claiming a nearer kindred to the Son of God, than
Gabriel himself. Can that event be of small moment,
which lays a foundation for immortal bliss ? — for eter-
nal life ?

Let us, then, patiently and impartially inquire into
some of the circumstances and evidences of the new
birth. And here I cannot but remark, that among
all the preposterous notions which a new and crude
theology has poured forth so profusely, in our day,
there is none more absurd, than that a dead sinner
can beget new life in himself. The very idea of a
man's becoming his own father in the spiritual re-
generation, is as unreasonable as such a supposition
in relation to our first birth. Away with all such
soul-destroying, God-dishonouring sentiments. "Which
were born not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh,
nor of the will of man, but of God" — " Born of the
Spirit" — "And you hath HE quickened who were
dead in trespasses and sins." But who can trace the
work of the Spirit in this wonderful renovation ? Can
we tell how our bones and sinews were formed in
our mothers' wombs ? Surely, then, there must be
mystery in the second birth. As our Lord said to
Nicodemus when discoursing on this very subject: "If
I have told you earthly things, and ye believe not,
how shall ye believe if I tell you of heavenly things ?"
" The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou nearest
the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh,
and whither it goeth."

There are, doubtless, great diversities in the appear-
ances of the motions and actings of spiritual life in its
incipient stages.

The agent is the same — the deadness of the subject
the same — the instrument the same, and the nature of
the effect the same, in every case. But still, there are
many differing circumstances, which cause a great

4

38 THOUGHTS ON

variety in appearance and expression ; such as the
degree of vigour in the principle of life communicated.
I know, indeed, that there are some who entertain
the opinion, that the new creature as it comes from
the hand of God— if I may so speak — is in all respects
identical or of equal value. Bat this is not the fact.
There is as much difference in the original vigour of
spiritual as of natural life. Now, who does not per-
ceive, what a remarkable difference this will make in
all the actings and external exhibitions of this princi-
ple ? As in nature, some children as soon as born are
active and vigorous and healthy, and let all around
know quickly that they are alive and have strong
feeling too ; whereas others come into the world with
so feeble a spark of life, that it can hardly be discerned
whether they breathe or have any pulsation in their
heart and arteries ; and when it is ascertained that
they live, the principle of vitality is so weak, and sur-
rounded with so many untoward circumstances and
symptoms, that there is a small prospect of the infant
reaching maturity ;— just so it is, in the new birth.
Some are brought at once into the clear light of day.
They come "out of darkness into the marvellous light"
of the gospel. 46 Old things are" consequently " passed
away, and all things are become new." The change
is most obvious and remarkable. They are as if in-
troduced into a new world. The Sun of righteous-
ness has risen upon them, without an intervening
cloud. Their perception of divine things is so new
and so clear, that they feel persuaded that they can
convince others, and cause them to see and feel as
they do. Indeed, they wonder why they did not
always see things in this light, and they do not know
why others do not see them as they do. Such per-
sons can no more doubt of their conversion than of
their existence. Such a case was that of Saul of
Tarsus. Such also was the case of Col. Gardiner.
Now this bright day may be clouded over, or it may
not. In the case of the two persons mentioned, there
does not seem ever to have arisen a passing cloud to
create a doubt whether indeed they had been brought

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 39

to enjoy the light of a heavenly day. But many a
day which begins with an unclouded sun, is deformed
by dark and lowering clouds, and even agitated with
tremendous storms, before it closes. So it may be in
the spiritual life. Some commence their pilgrimage
under the most favourable auspices, and seem to
stand so firmly on the mount, that they are ready to
say, " I shall never be moved." Yet when their Lord
hides his face, they are soon troubled; and may long
walk in darkness, and enjoy no light or comfort. And
commonly this change is brought about by our own
spiritual pride and carelessness.

The opinion commonly entertained, that the most
enormous sinners are the subjects of the most pungent
convictions of sin, and the most alarming terrors of
hell, is not correct. In regard to such, the commence-
ment of a work of grace is sometimes very gradual,
and the impressions so apparently slight, that they
afford very little ground of sanguine expectations of
the result. While, on the other hand, some persons
of an unblemished moral character, and who, from
the influence of a religious education, have always
respected religion, and venerated its ordinances, when
brought under conviction, are more terribly alarmed
and more overwhelmed with distress, than others
whose lives have been stained by gross crimes. The
Rev. John Newton, when awakened to some sense
of his sinful and dangerous condition, which occurred
during a violent and long continued storm at sea,
though his judgment was convinced that he was the
greatest of sinners, and he doubted whether it was
possible for him to be saved ; yet seems to have had
no very deep feelings or agitating fears. He says,
" It was not till after, perhaps, several years, that I
had gained some clear views of the infinite righteous-
ness and grace of Christ Jesus my Lord, that I had a
deep and strong apprehension of my state by nature
and practice ; and perhaps till then I could not have
borne the sight; so wonderfully does the Lord pro-
portion the discoveries of sin and grace. For he knows
our frame, and that if he were to put forth the great-

40 THOUGHTS ON

ness of his power, a poor sinner would be instantly
overwhelmed, and crushed as a moth." And, though
from this time there was a sensible change, and his
mind was turned towards religion, yet it is evident
from the history of his life, as well as his experiences
afterwards, that grace existed daring several years,
in the feeblest state of which we can well conceive.
It appeared so much so to himself, that he warns all
persons from considering his experience a model for
them. "As to myself," says he, "every part of my
case has been extraordinary — I have hardly met a
single instance resembling it. Few, very few have
been rescued "from such a dreadful state, and those
few that have been thus favoured, have generally
passed through the most severe convictions ; and,
after the Lord has given them peace, their future lives
have been usually more zealous, bright, and exem-
plary than common." Now this is the opinion which
I think, is taken up rather from theory than an ob-
servation of facts. I think that those persons, who
have been most conversant with exercised souls will
say that there is no general rule here — that very pun-
gent convictions and deep distress are found as fre-
quently in those who have been preserved from out-
breaking transgressions, as in those noted for their
immoralities. There seems, indeed, more reason for
severe convictions in the latter case ; but convictions
are not uniformly proportioned to the magnitude of
crimes. And in truth, we are incapable of comparing
together the heinousness of the sins of different per-
sons. The moral man, as we call him, may be the
greater sinner of the two, when weighed in the bal-
ances of the sanctuary. I heard a popular preacher
once undertake to prove, that moral men and formal
professors must, in all cases, be far more wicked than
the blaspheming infidel, and gross debauchee. The
argument was plausible, but laboured under one es-
sential- defect ; and I was of opinion, and still am, that
such a doctrine is highly dangerous, and calculated to
encourage men to go to all lengths in wickedness.
When I was a very young preacher, I expressed the

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 41

opinion, in a sermon preached in North Carolina, that
the mere moralist and formalist were more out of the
way of conviction than the openly profane. When
the sermon was ended, a fierce looking man came up
to me and said that I had delivered precisely his
opinion on one point, and mentioned the above senti-
ment. I inquired, when he was gone, who he was,
and found that he was the most notorious profligate
in all the country ; and not long afterwards he was
apprehended and imprisoned, at the head of a com-
pany engaged in felonious acts. This taught me a
lesson which I never forgot. Mr. Newton proceeds
thus : " Now, as, on the one hand, my convictions were
very moderate, and far below what might have been
expected from the dreadful review I had to make ;
so, on the other, my first beginnings in a religious
course were as faint as can well be imagined. I never
knew that season alluded to, Revelation ii. 4, usually
called the time of " first love." And then he relates
facts which give sad evidence of a very low state of
grace ; and, if it had never risen higher, we should
certainly have been inclined to believe that he was not
a subject of saving grace. But this leads me to re-
mark a fact analogous to what is common in the
natural world ; that the infant which, when born,
barely gives evidence of life, may not only grow to
maturity, but in size and strength may far exceed
those who commenced life with more activity and
vigour ; and so in the spiritual life, when the incipient
motions and affections are very feeble, the person may
eventually become a mature and eminent Christian, as
we have no doubt Mr. Newton did. Another instance
of a similar kind, if my memory serves me, was the
Rev. Mr. Cecil, who had also been, for many years,
a profane infidel ; but who, in process of time, be-
came one of the most eminent Christians, as well
as spiritual ministers of his day. Dr. Thomas Scott,
also, was a Socinian, and yet a preacher in the es-
tablished Church ; but the progress of illumination
and conviction in his mind was very gradual. His

"Force of Truth" is an admirable little work, and

4*

42 THOUGHTS ON

furnishes a full illustration of the sentiment which I
wish to inculcate : That grace, in the commencement,
is often .exceedingly faint and feeble, and yet may
grow into a state of maturity and comparative per-
fection.

In the experience of President Edwards, as re-
corded by himself, we find no account of any deep
and distressing convictions of sin at the commence-
ment of his religious course ; though, afterwards,
perhaps few men ever attained to such humbling
views of the depth and turpitude of the depravity
of the heart. But his experience differs from that of
those mentioned above, in that his first views of divine
things were clear and attended with unspeakable de-
light. " The first instance that I remember of that
sort of inward, secret delight in God and divine things,
that I have lived much in since, was, on reading those
words, 1 Tim. i. 17, < Now, unto the King eternal,
immortal, invisible, the only wise God, be honour and
glory, for ever and ever, Amen/ As I read these
words, there came into my soul, and was as it were
diffused through it, a sense of the glory of the Divine
Being ; a new sense, quite different from any thing I
ever experienced before. Never any words of Scrip-
ture seemed to me as those words did. I thought
with myself, how excellent a Being that was, and how
happy I should be, if I might enjoy that God, and be
rapt up to him in heaven, and be as it were swallowed
up in him for ever." " From that time I began to
have a new kind of apprehensions and ideas of Christ,
and the work of redemption, and the glorious way of
salvation by him. An inward, sweet sense of these
things, at times, came into my heart; and my soul
was led away in pleasant views and contemplations
of them. After this, my sense of divine things gra-
dually increased, and became more and more lively,
and had more of that inward sweetness. The appear-
ance of every thing was altered. There seemed to
be, as it were, a calm, sweet cast or appearance of
divine glory, in almost every thing. God's excel-
lency, his wisdom, his purity, and his love seemed to

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 43

appear in every thing." The difference between this
and many other cases of incipient piety, is very
striking. And yet these views and exercises do not
come up to the standard which some set up in regard
to Christian experience, because they are so abstract,
and have such casual reference to Christ, through
whom alone God is revealed to man as an object of
saving faith. And if there be a fault in the writings
of this great and good man on the subject of experi-
mental religion, it is, that they seem to represent re-
newed persons as at the first, occupied with the con-
templation of the attributes of God with delight,
without ever thinking of a Mediator. But few men
ever attained, as we think, higher degrees of holiness,
or had made more accurate observations on the exer-
cises of others. His work on the Affections is too
abstract and tedious for common readers ; but it is an
excellent work, although I think his twelve marks
might with great advantage be reduced to half the
number, on his own plan. The experimental exer-
cises of religion are sure to take their complexion from
the theory of doctrine entertained, or which is incul-
cated at the time.

The variety which appears in the exercises of real
converts does not depend alone on the different de-
grees of vigour, in the principle of spiritual life, but on
many other circumstances; some of which will now
be noticed. The benefit of sound doctrinal instruc-
tion to the new-born soul has already been mention-
ed, but demands a more particular consideration.
What degree of knowledge is absolutely necessary to
the existence of piety cannot be accurately determin-
ed by man, but we know that genuine faith may con-
sist with much ignorance and error. Suppose two
persons, then, to have received the principle of spirit-
ual life in equal vigour, but let the one be ignorant
and the other well instructed ; it is easy to see what
a difference this will make in the exercises of the two
converts ; and also in the account which they are able
respectively to give to others of the work of grace on.
their hearts. It is here taken for granted, that no-

44 THOUGHTS ON

thing but divine truth can be the object of holy affec-
tions, or furnish the motives from which true Chris-
tians are bound to act ; and that faith in all its actings
has respect to revealed truth. But that which is un-
known can neither be the object of faith or love, and
that which is known obscurely, and viewed indistinct-
ly, can never operate with the same effect as that
which is clearly understood. Accordingly, our mis-
sionaries inform us, that we ought not to expect the
same consistency or maturity in the religion of real
converts from heathenism, as from religiously edu-
cated persons in our own country. It is a lamentable
fact that in this land of churches and of Bibles, there
are many who know little more of the doctrines of
Christianity, than the pagans themselves. The pro-
per inference from the fact stated is, that they are
egregiously in error, who think that the religious edu-
cation of children, is useless, or even injurious ; and
their opinion is also condemned who maintain that it
matters little what men believe provided their lives
are upright. All good conduct must proceed from
good principles; but good principles cannot exist
without a knowledge of the truth. "Truth is in
order to holiness ;" and between truth and holiness
there is an indissoluble connexion. It would be as
reasonable to expect a child born into an atmosphere
corrupted with pestilential vapour, to grow and be
healthy, as that spiritual life should flourish without
the nutriment of the pure milk of the word, and
without breathing in the wholesome atmosphere of
truth. The new man often remains in a dwarfish
state, because he is fed upon husks; or, he grows in-
to a distorted shape by means of the errors which are
inculcated upon him. It is of unspeakable import-
ance that the young disciple have sound, instructive,
and practical preaching to attend on. It is also of
consequence that the religious people, with whom he
converses, should be discreet, evangelical, and intelli-
gent Christians ; and that the books put into his hands
should be of the right kind. There is what may be
called a sectarian peculiarity in the experimental reli-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 45

gion of all the members of a religious denomination.
When it is required, in order that persons be admitted
to commuion, that they publicly give a narrative of
the exercises of their minds, there will commonly be
observed a striking similarity. There is a certain
mould into which all seem to be cast. By the way,
this requisition is unwise ; few persons have humility
and discretion enough to be trusted to declare in a
public congregation, what the dealings of God with
their souls have been. When ignorant, weak, and
fanciful persons undertake this, they often bring out
such crude and ludicrous things, as greatly tend to
bring experimental religion into discredit. The prac-
tice seems also to be founded on a false principle,
namely, that real Christians are able to tell with cer-
tainty whether others have religion, if they hear their
experience. Enthusiasts have always laid claim to this
discernment of the spirits, and this enthusiasm is widely
spread through some large sects ; and when they meet
with any professing piety, they are always solicitous
to hear an account of their conviction, conversion, &c.
A free intercourse of this kind among intimate friends,
is no doubt, profitable ; but a frequent and indiscrimi-
nate disclosure of these secret things of the heart, is
attended with many evils. Among the chief is, the
fostering of spiritual pride, which may often be de-
tected when the person is boasting of his humility.
In those social meetings, in which every person is
questioned as to the state of his soul, the very
sameness of most of the answers ought to render the
practice suspicious. Poor, weak, and ignorant per-
sons, often profess to be happy, and to be full of the
love of God, when they know not what they say. It
is wonderful how little you hear of the spiritual con-
flict in the account which many professors give of their
experience. The people know what kind of answers
is expected of them, and they come, as near as they
can to what is wished ; and it is to be feared that
many cry "peace," when there is no peace ; and say
that they are happy, merely because they hear this
from the lips of others. Hypocrisy is a fearful evil,

46 THOUGHTS ON

and every thing which has a tendency to produce it
should be avoided. Among some classes of religious
people, all doubting about the goodness and safety
of our state is scouted as inconsistent with faith.
It is assumed as indubitably true, that every Christian
must be assured of his being in a state of grace,
and they have no charity for those who are distressed
with almost perpetual doubts and fears. This they
consider to be the essence of unbelief; for faith, ac-
cording to them, is a full persuasion that our sins are
forgiven. No painful process of self-examination is
therefore requisite, for every believer has possession
already of all that could be learned from such exam-
ination. Among others, doubting, it is to be feared,
is too much encouraged; and serious Christians are
perplexed with needless scruples originating in the
multiplication of the marks of conversion, which some-
times are difficult of application, and, in other cases,
are not scriptural, but arbitrary, set up by the preacher
who values himself upon his skill in detecting the
close hypocrite, whereas he wounds the weak be-
liever, in ten cases, where he awakens the hypocrite
in one. I once heard one of these preachers, whose
common mode was harsh, and calculated to distress
the feeble minded, attempt to preach in a very dif-
ferent style. He seemed to remember that he should
not " bruise the broken reed/' nor " quench the smok-
ing flax." A person of a contrite spirit heard the
discourse with unusual comfort, but at the close the
preacher resumed his usual harsh tone, and said,
" Now you hypocrites will be snatching at the chil-
dren's bread." On hearing which, the broken-hearted
hearer felt himself addressed, and instantly threw
away all the comfort which he had received. And
though there might be a hundred hypocrites present,
yet not one of them cared any thing about the admo-
nition.

In some places, anxious inquirers are told that,
if they will hold on praying and using the means,
God is bound to save them ; as though a dead, con-
demned sinner could so pray as to bring God under

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 47

obligation to him, or could secure the blessings of the
covenant of grace5 by his selfish, legal striving. These
instructions accord very much with the self-righteous
spirit which is naturally in us all ; and one of two
things may be expected to ensue, either that the anxious
inquirer will conclude that he has worked out his sal-
vation, and cry peace ; or that he should sink into dis-
couragement and charge God foolishly, because He does
not hear his prayers, and grant him his desires. There
is another extreme, but not so common among us. It
is, to tell the unconverted, however anxious, not to
pray at all — that their prayers are an abomination to
God, and can answer no good purpose, until they are
able to pray in faith. The writer happened once to be
cast into a congregation where this doctrine was incul-
cated, at the time of a considerable revival, when many
sinners were cut to the heart, and were inquiring, what
must w^e do to be saved ? He conversed with some
who appeared to be under deep and awful convictions ;
but they were directed to use no means, but to believe,
and they appeared to remain in a state of perfect qui-
escence, doing nothing, but confessing the justice of
their condemnation, and appearing to feel that they
were entirely at the disposal of Him, who " has mercy
on whom he will have mercy." The theory, however,
was not consistently carried out, for while these persons
were taught not to pray, they were exhorted to hear
the gospel, and were frequently conversed with by
their pastor. But this extreme is not so dangerous as
the former, which encourages sinners to think that they
can do something to recommend themselves to God, by
their unbelieving prayers. The fruits of this revival, I
have reason to believe, were very precious. Even
among the same people and under the same minister,
the exercises of the awakened in a revival are very
different. In some seasons of this sort, the work ap-
pears to be far deeper and more solemn than in others.

48 THOUGHTS ON

CHAPTER IV.

Causes of diversity in experience continued. — Effect of temperament. —
Melancholy. — Advice to the friends of persons thus affected. — Subject
continued. — Illustrative cases. — Causes of melancholy and insanity.

We have before shown how the principle of spirit-
ual life is affected in its appearance by two cir-
cumstances— the degree of vigour given to it in its
commencement, and the degree of knowledge and
maturity of judgment which one may possess above
another. We now come to another pregnant cause
of the great variety which is found in the exercises
and comforts of real Christians, and that is the differ-
ence of temperament which is so familiar, and which
so frequently modifies the characters, as well as the
feelings of men in other matters. There can be no
doubt, I think, that the susceptibility of lively emotion
is exceedingly different in men under the same cir-
cumstances. Persons of strong affections and ardent
temperament, upon an unexpected bereavement of a
beloved wife or child, are thrown into an agony of
grief which is scarcely tolerable ; while those of a cold,
phlegmatic temperament, seem to suffer no exquisite
anguish from this or any other cause. Not that they
possess more fortitude or resignation, for the contrary
may be the fact ; but their susceptibilities are less
acute. And this disparity appears in nothing more
remarkably than in the tendency to entertain different
degrees of hope or fear in similar circumstances. For,
while some will hope whenever there is the smallest
ground for a favourable result, others are sure to fear
the worst which can possibly happen ; and their ap-
prehensions are proportioned to the magnitude of the
interest at stake. Now is it wonderful, that men's
religious feelings should be affected by the same
causes ? When two exercised persons speak of their

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 49

convictions, their sorrows and their hopes, is it not to
be expected, that with the same truths before their
minds, those of a sanguine temperament will expe-
rience more sensible emotions, and, upon the same
evidence, entertain more confident hopes than those
of a contrary disposition ? And, of necessity, the joy
of the one will be much more lively than that of the
other. Thus, two persons may be found, whose ex-
perience may have been very similar as to their con-
viction of sin, and exercise of faith and repentance ;
and yet the one will express a strong confidence of
having passed from death unto life ; while the other
is afraid to express a trembling hope. Of these two
classes of Christians, the first is the most comfortable,
the latter the safest, as being unwilling to be satisfied
with any evidence but the strongest. But there is
not only a wide difference from this natural cause of
the liveliness of the emotions of joy and sorrow, and
of the confidence of the hopes entertained, but usually
a very different mode of expression. Sanguine per-
sons, from the very impulse of ardent feeling, have a
tendency to express things in strong language con-
stantly verging on exaggeration. They are apt to use
superlatives and strong emphasis, as wishing to con-
vey a full idea of their feelings, while those of a colder
temperament and more timid disposition, fall below
the reality, in their descriptions, and are cautious not
to convey to others too high an idea of what they
have experienced. This diversity, as the cause is
permanent, characterizes the religious experience of
these respective classes of Christians through their
whole pilgrimage, and may be equally manifest on a
dying bed. Hence it appears how very uncertain a
knowledge of the internal state of the heart we obtain
from the words and professions of serious persons.
It should also serve to shake the vain confidence of
those who imagine that they can decide with certainty
whether another is a truly converted person, merely
from hearing a narrative of his religious experi-
ence, that two persons may employ the same words
and phrases to express their feelings, and yet

5

50 THOUGHTS ON

those feelings may be specifically different. Each may
say, " I felt the love of God shed abroad in my heart,"
which in the one case may be the genuine affection
described in these words ; while in the other it may
be a mere transport of natural feeling ; a mere selfish
persuasion of being a favourite of heaven ; or a high
state of nervous exhilaration, produced by a physiolo-
gical cause. Both these persons may be sincere, ac-
cording to the popular acceptation of that term ; that
is, both have really experienced a lively emotion, and
both mean to express the simple fact ; and yet the one
is a real Christian, while the other may be in an
unregenerate state. Another thing which ought to
destroy this foolish persuasion, that we can certainly
determine the true spiritual condition of another per-
son by hearing from him a narrative of his expe-
rience, is that any words or phrases which can be
used by a really pious man, may be learned by
a designing hypocrite. What is to hinder such an
one from using the very language and imitating the
very manner in which true Christians have been heard
to relate their experience ? What can prevent de-
ceivers from catching up the narrative of godly exer-
cises so abundantly found in religious biography,
and applying it to themselves, as though they had
experience of these things ? While only two classes
of Christians have been mentioned, yet in each of
these there are many subordinate divisions, to describe
all of which would be tedious and not for edification.
The reader can readily apply the general principles
to every variety of experience, modified by this
cause.

In the preceding remarks, the healthy, constitutional
temperament has alone been brought into view ; but
by far the most distressing cases of conscience, with
which the spiritual physician has to deal, are owing
to a morbid temperament. As most people are in-
clined to conceal their spiritual distresses, few have
any conception of the number of persons who are
habitually suffering under the frightful malady of
melancholy. With some, this disease is not perma-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 51

nent, but occasional. They have only periodical
paroxysms of deep religious depression ; and they
may be said to have their compensation, for the dark
and cloudy day, by being favoured with one of pe-
culiar brightness, in quick succession. If their gloom
was uninterrupted, it would be overwhelming, but
after a dark night, rises a lovely morning without the
shadow of a cloud. This rapid and great alternation
of feeling is found in those who possess what may be
called a mercurial temperament. It is connected with
a nervous system peculiarly excitable, and exceedingly
liable to temporary derangement. A rough east wind
is sufficient to blow up clouds which completely ob-
scure the cheerful sunshine of the soul ; while the
wholesome zephyrs as quickly drive all these gloomy
clouds away. Such persons always have a stomach
easily disordered, and one ounce of improper food, or
one too much of wholesome food, is cause sufficient
to derange the nerves and depress the spirits. The
want of refreshing sleep, or watchfulness, is another
cause of the same effects ; and in its turn, is an effect
from disordered nerves. But physical causes are not
the only ones which produce this painful state of feel-
ing. It is often produced, in a moment, by hearing
some unpleasant intelligence, or by the occurrence of
some disagreeable event. But, as was hinted, when
these people of nervous temperament are relieved
from a fit of depression, their sky is uncommonly
free from clouds ; their hopes are lively, their spirits
buoyant, and nothing can trouble them. These alter-
nations of day and night, of sunshine and darkness,
must of necessity affect the feelings in regard to all
matters, temporal and spiritual ; for as in a dark night
every object appears black, so when the mind is over-
cast with gloomy clouds every view must partake of
the same aspect. To many persons this description
will be unintelligible ; but by others, it will be recog-
nized, at once, as a just view of their own case. But
when religious melancholy becomes a fixed disease,
it may be reckoned among the heaviest calamities to
which our suffering nature is subject. It resists all

52 THOUGHTS ON

argument and rejects every topic of consolation, from
whatever source it may proceed. It feeds upon dis-
tress and despair, and is displeased even with the sug-
gestion or offer of relief. The mind thus affected
seizes on those ideas and truths which are most awful
and terrific. Any doctrine which excludes all hope
is congenial to the melancholy spirit, and it seizes on
such things with an unnatural avidity, and will not
let them go.

There is no subject on which it is more vain and
dangerous to theorize than our religious experience.
It is therefore of unspeakable importance that minis-
ters of the gospel, who have to deal with diseased
consciences, should have had some experience them-
selves in these matters. This, no doubt, is one reason
why some, intended to be "sons of consolation" to
others, have been brought through deep waters, and
have been buffeted by many storms, before they ob-
tained a settled peace of mind. It is a proper object
of inquiry, why, in our day, so little is heard about
the spiritual troubles, of which we read so much in
the casuistical treatises of writers of a former age. It
can scarcely be supposed that the faith of modern
Christians is so much stronger than that of believers
who lived in other days, that they are enabled easily
to triumph over their melancholy fears and despon-
dency. Neither can we suppose that Satan is less
busy in casting his fiery darts, and in attempts to
drive the children of God to despair. There is rea-
son to fear, that among Christians of the present time,
there is less deep, spiritual exercise, than in former
days ; and as little is said on this subject in public dis-
courses, there may be greater concealment of the
troubles of this kind than if these subjects were more
frequently discussed. It is observable that all those
who have experienced this sore affliction and have
been mercifully delivered from it, are very solicit-
ous to administer relief and comfort to others who are
still exposed to the peltings of the pitiless storm ; and
these are the persons who feel the tenderest sympathy
with afflicted consciences, and know how to bear with

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 53

the infirmities and waywardness which accompany a
state of religious melancholy. It is also remarkable,
that very generally, they who have been recovered
from such diseases, attribute no small part of their
troubles to a morbid temperament of body, and ac-
cordingly, in their counsels to the melancholy, they lay
particular stress on the regular, healthy state of the
body.

About the close of the seventeenth century, the
Rev. Timothy Rogers, a pious and able minister of
London, fell into a state of deep melancholy; and
such was the distressing darkness of his mind, that he
gave up all hope of the mercy of God, and believed
himself to be a vessel of wrath, designed for destruc-
tion, for the praise of the glorious justice of the Al-
mighty. His sad condition was known to many pious
ministers and people throughout the country, who, it
is believed, were earnest and incessant in their suppli-
cations in his behalf. And these intercessions were
not ineffectual ; for it pleased God to grant a complete
deliverance to his suffering servant. And having re-
ceived comfort of the Lord, he was exceedingly de-
sirous to be instrumental in administering the same
comfort to others, with which he himself had been
comforted. He therefore wrote several treatises with
this object in view, which are well calculated to be of
service to those labouring under spiritual distress.
One of these is entitled, "Recovery from Sickness,"
another " Consolation to the Afflicted," and a
third, " A Discourse on Trouble of Mind, and the
Disease of Melancholy." In the "preface" to this
last, the author gives directions to the friends of per-
sons labouring under religious melancholy, how to
treat them. The substance of these, I will now com-
municate to the reader. "1. Look upon your dis-
tressed friends as under one of the worst distempers
to which this miserable life is obnoxious. Melan-
choly incapacitates them for thought or action : it
confounds and disturbs all their thoughts and fills
them with vexation and anguish. I verily believe,
that when this malign humour is deeply fixed and

5*

54 THOUGHTS ON

has spread its deleterious influence over every part,
it is as vain to attempt to resist it, by reasoning and
rational motives, as to oppose a fever, or the gout, or
pleurisy. One of the very worst attendants of this
disease is, the want of sleep, by which in other dis-
tresses men are relieved and refreshed; but in this
disease, either sleep flies far away, or is so disturbed,
that the poor sufferer, instead of being refreshed, is
like one on the rack. The faculties of the soul are
weakened, and all their operations disturbed and
clouded ; and the poor body languishes and pines
away, at the same time. And that which renders
this disease more formidable is, its long continuance.
It is a long time often before it comes to its height ;
and usually as tedious in its declension. It is, in
every respect, sad and overwhelming ; a state of dark-
ness that has no discernible beams of light. It gene-
rally begins in the body, and then conveys its venom
to the mind. I pretend not to tell you what medicines
will cure it, for I know of none. I leave you to ad-
vise with such as are skilled in physic, and especially
to such doctors as have experienced something of it
themselves ; for it is impossible to understand the
nature of it in any other way than by experience.
There is danger, as Mr. Greenham says, 'that the
bodily physician will look no further than the body,
while the spiritual physician will totally disregard the
body, and look only at the mind.'

" 2. Treat those who are under this disease with
tender compassion. Remember also, that you are liable
to the same affliction ; for however brisk your spirits
and lively your feelings now, you may meet with such
reverses, with such long and sharp afflictions, as will
sink your spirits. Many, not naturally inclined to me-
lancholy, have, by overwhelming and repeated calam-
ities, been sunk into this dark gulf.

" 3. Never use harsh language to your friends when
under the disease of melancholy. This will only
serve to fret and perplex them the more, but will
never benefit them. I know that the counsel of some
is, to rebuke and chide them, on all occasions ; but I

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 55

dare confidently say, that such advisers never felt the
disease themselves ; for if they had, they would know
that thus they do but pour oil into the flames, and
chafe and exasperate their wounds, instead of healing
them. Mr. Dod, by reason of his mild, meek, and
merciful spirit, was reckoned one of the fittest persons
to deal with those thus afflicted. Never was any per-
son more tender and compassionate as all will be con-
vinced, who will read the accounts of Mr. Peacock
and Mrs. Drake, both of whom were greatly relieved
by his conversation.

" 4. If you would possess any influence over your
friends in this unhappy state of mind, you must be
careful not to express any want of confidence in what
they relate of their own feelings and distresses. On
this point, there is often a great mistake. When they
speak of their frightful and distressing apprehensions,
it is common for friends to reply, < that this is all im-
aginary'— 'nothing but fancy/ <an unfounded whim/
Now the disease is a real one, and their misery is as
real as any experienced by man. It is true, their
imagination is disordered, but this is merely the effect
of a deeper disease. These afflicted persons never can
believe that you have any real sympathy with their
misery, or feel any compassion for them, unless you
believe what they say.

" 5. Do not urge your melancholy friends to do
what is out of their power. They are like persons
whose bones are broken, and who are incapacitated
for action. Their disease is accompanied with per-
plexing and tormenting thoughts ; if you can inno-
cently divert them, you would do them a great kind-
ness ; but do not urge them to any thing which requires
close and intent thinking ; this will only increase the
disease. But you will ask, ought we not to urge
them to hear the word of God ? I answer, if they are
so far gone in the disease as to be in continual, unre-
mitting anguish, they are not capable of hearing, on
account of the painful disorder of their minds. But
if their disorder is not come to such a distressing

5Q THOUGHTS ON

height, you may kindly and gently persuade them to
attend on the preaching of the word ; but beware of
using a peremptory and violent method. The method
pursued by Mr. Dod, with Mrs. Drake, should be
imitated. < The burden which overloaded her soul
was so great, that we never durst add any thereunto,
but fed her with all encouragements, she being too apt
to overcharge herself, and to despair upon any addition
of fuel to that fire which was inwardly consuming
her. And so, wherever she went to hear, notice was
given to the minister officiating, that he had such a
hearer, and by this means she received no discourage-
ment from hearing.'

"6. Do not attribute the effects of mere disease to
the devil ; although I do not deny that he has an
agency in producing some diseases; especially, by
harassing and disturbing the mind to such a degree,
that the body suffers with it. But it is very unwise to
ascribe every feeling and every word of the melancholy
man to Satan ; whereas, many of these are as natural
consequences of bodily disease, as the symptoms of a
fever, which the poor sufferer can no more avoid,
than the sick man can keep himself from sighing and
groaning. Many will say to such an one, « Why do
you so pore over your case and thus gratify the devil V
whereas, it is the very nature of the disease to cause
such fixed musings. You might as well say to a
man in a fever, < Why are you not well, why will you
be sick?' Some, indeed, suppose, that the melan-
choly hug their disease, and are unwilling to give
it up, but you might as well suppose that a man would
be pleased with lying on a bed of thorns, or in a
fiery furnace. No doubt the devil knows how to
work on minds thus diseased, and that by shooting
his fiery darts, he endeavours to drive them to utter
despair. But if you persuade them that all which
they experience is from the devil, you may induce the
opinion in them, that they are actually possessed of
the evil one ; which has been the unhappy condition
of some whose minds were disordered. I would not

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 57

have you to bring a railing accusation, even against
the devil, neither must you falsely accuse your friends
by saying that they gratify him.

" 7. Do not express much surprise or wonder at any
thing which melancholy persons say or do. What
will not they say, who are in despair of God's mercy ?
What will not they do, who think themselves lost,
for ever ? You know that even such a man as Job
cursed his day, so that the Lord charged him ' with
darkening counsel by words without knowledge.'
Do not wonder that they give expression to bitter
complaints ; the tongue will always be speaking of the
aching tooth. Their soul is sore vexed, and although
they get no good by complaining, yet they cannot but
complain, to find themselves in such a doleful case.
And they can say with David, ' I am weary with my
groaning: all the night make I my bed to swim, I
water my couch with my tears •/ yet they cannot for-
bear to groan and weep more, until their very eyes
be consumed with grief. Let no sharp words of
theirs provoke you to talk sharply to them. Sick peo-
ple are apt to be peevish, and it would be a great
weakness in you, not to bear with them, when you see
that a long and sore disease has deprived them of their
former good temper.

"8. Do not tell them any frightful stories, nor re-
count to them the sad disasters which have overtaken
others. Their hearts do already meditate terror, and
by every alarming thing of which they hear, they are
the more terrified, and their disordered imagination is
prepared to seize upon every frightful image which
is presented. The hearing of sad things always
causes them more violent agitations. Yet you must
avoid merriment and levity in their presence, for this
would lead them to think that you have no sympa-
thy with them, nor concern for them. A mixture of
gravity and affableness will best suit them ; and, if I
might advise, I would counsel parents not to put their
children, who are naturally inclined to melancholy, to
learning, or to any employment, which requires much

58 THOUGHTS ON

study; lest they should at length be preyed upon, by
their own thoughts.

"9. Do not, however, think it needless to talk with
them. But do not speak as if you thought their dis-
ease would be of long continuance; for this is the
prospect which appears most gloomy to the melan-
choly. Rather encourage them" to hope for speedy
deliverance. Endeavour to revive their spirits by
declaring, that God can give them relief in a moment,
and that he has often done so with others; that he can
quickly heal their disease, and cause his amiable and
reconciled face to shine upon them.

" 10. It will be useful to tell them of others, who
have been in the same state of suffering, and yet have
been delivered. It is, indeed, true, that they who are
depressed by such a load of grief, are with difficulty
persuaded, that any were ever in such a condition as
they are. They think themselves to be more wicked
than Cain or Judas, and view their own cases to be
entirely singular. It will, therefore, be important to
relate real cases of deliverance from similar distress
and darkness. Several such cases have been known
to me, as that of Mr. Rosewell, and also Mr. Porter,
both ministers of the gospel. The latter was six
years under the pressure of melancholy; yet both
these experienced complete deliverance, and after-
wards rejoiced in the light of God's countenance. I
myself was near two years in great pain of body,
and greater pain of soul, and without any prospect
of peace or help ; and yet God hath recovered me by
his sovereign grace and mercy. Mr. Robert Bruce,
minister in Edinburgh, was twenty years in terrors of
conscience, and yet delivered afterwards. And so, of
many others, who after a dark and stormy night,
were blessed with the cheerful light of returning day.
Mr. Fox, in his book of Martyrs, gives an account of
a certain Mr. Glover, who was worn and consumed
with inward trouble, for five years, so that he had no
comfort in his food, nor in his sleep, nor in any enjoy-
ment of life. He was so perplexed, as if he had been

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 59

in the deepest pit of hell, and yet this good servant
of God, after all these horrid temptations and buffet-
ings of Satan, was delivered from all his trouble, and
the effect was such a degree of mortification of sin,
that he appeared as one already in heaven.

" 11. The next thing which you are to do for your
melancholy friends, is to pray for them. As they have
not light and composure to pray for themselves, let
your eyes weep for them in secret, and there let your
souls melt in fervent holy prayers. You know that
none but God alone can help them. Mr. Peacock said
to Mr. Dod, and his other friends, « Take not the name
of God in vain, by praying for such a reprobate/ Mr.
Dod replied, < If God stir up your friends to pray for
you, he will stir up himself to hear their prayers/
You ought to consider that nothing but prayer can do
them good. It is an obstinate disease that nothing
else will overcome. Those who can cure themselves
by resorting to wine and company, were never under
this disease.

"12. Not only pray for them yourself, but engage
other Christian friends, also, to pray for them. When
many good people join their requests together, their
cry is more acceptable and prevalent. When the church
united in prayer for Peter, in chains, he was soon de-
livered, and in the very time of their prayers. All
believers have, through Christ, a great interest in
heaven, and the Father is willing to grant what they
unitedly and importunately ask, in the name of his
dear Son. I myself have been greatly helped by the
prayers of others, and I heartily thank all those espe-
cially, who set apart particular days to remember at a
throne of grace, my distressed condition. Blessed be
God that he did not turn away his mercy from me, nor
turn a deaf ear to their supplications !

" 13. Put your poor, afflicted friends, in mind,
continually, of the sovereign grace of God, in Jesus
Christ. Often impress on their minds, that He is
merciful and gracious ; that as far as the heavens are
above the earth, so far are his thoughts above their
thoughts ; his thoughts of mercy above their self-con-

60 THOUGHTS ON

demning, guilty thoughts. Teach them as much as
you can, to look unto God, by the great Mediator, for
grace and strength, and not too much to pore over
their own souls, where there is so much darkness and
unbelief. And turn away their thoughts from the
decrees of God. Show them what great sinners God
has pardoned, and encourage them to believe and to
hope for mercy. When Mrs. Drake was in her deplo-
rable state of darkness, she would send a description
of her case to distinguished ministers, concealing her
name, to know whether such a creature, without faith,
hope, or love to God or man — hard-hearted, without
natural affection, who had resisted and abused all
means, could have any hope of going to heaven ?
Their answer was, that such like, and much worse,
might, by the mercy of God, be received into favour,
converted and saved ; which did much allay her
trouble. l For/ said she, f the fountain of all my
misery hath been, that I sought that in the law, which
I should have found in the gospel ; and for that in
myself, which was only to be found in Christ/ < From
my own experience, I can testify/ says Mr. Rogers,
'that the mild and gentle way of dealing with such is
the best/"

A volume might be written on the subject of reli-
gious melancholy, and such a volume is much needed ;
but it would be difficult to find a person qualified for
the undertaking. We have some books written by
pious casuists ; and the subject is handled in medical
treatises on insanity ; but, to do it justice, physiolo-
gical knowledge must be combined with an accurate
acquaintance with the experience of Christians. Bur-
ton's "Anatomy of Melancholy/' is one of the strangest
books I ever read. For curious learning and clas-
sical quotations, it cannot be surpassed. And there
is much originality of remark, and frequent strokes
of wit in the work, but very little valuable informa-
tion on the subject of which it treats. The author
seems to have been himself troubled with fits of
melancholy, and, enjoying much learned leisure, amused
his melancholy hours by searching after and heaping

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE, 61

up much learning, out of the common track. The
spiritual physician, who has the cure of diseased
souls, takes much less pains to inquire minutely and
exactly into the maladies of his patients, than is ob-
servable in physicians of the body. I have often
admired the alacrity and perseverance with which
medical students attend upon anatomical and physio-
logical lectures ; although often, the exhibitions are
extremely repulsive to our natural feelings. The
patience and ingenuity, with which the men of this
profession make experiments are highly worthy of im-
itation. Many of our young preachers, when they go
forth on their important errand, are poorly qualified to
direct the doubting conscience, or to administer safe
consolation to those troubled in spirit. And in modern
preaching, there is little account made of the various
distressing cases of deep affliction under which many
serious persons are suffering. If we want counsel
on subjects of this kind, we must go back to the old
writers; but as there is now small demand for such
works, they are fast sinking into oblivion ; and their
place is not likely to be supplied by any works which
the prolific press now pours forth. It is, however, a
pleasing circumstance, that the writings of so many
of our old English divines have recently been reprint-
ed in London. But still many valuable treatises are
destined to oblivion. The only object which I have
in view, in introducing this subject, is to inquire,
what connexion there is between real experimental
religion and melancholy. And I must, in the first
place, endeavour to remove a prevalent prejudice,
that in all religious persons there is a strong tendency
to melancholy. Indeed, there are not a few who
confound these two things so completely, that they
have no other idea of becoming religious, than sink-
ing into a state of perpetual gloom. Such persons
as these are so far removed from all just views of
the nature of religion, that I shall not attempt, at
present, to correct their errors. There are others, who
entertain the opinion, that deep religious impressions
tend to produce that state of mind called melancholy;

6

62 THOUGHTS ON

and not only so, but they suppose that in many cases,
insanity is the consequence of highly raised religious
affections. The fact cannot be denied, that religion
is often the subject which dwells on the minds of
both the melancholy and the insane. But, I am of
opinion, that we are here in danger of reversing the
order of nature, and putting the effect in the place of
the cause. Religion does not produce melancholy,
but melancholy turns the thoughts to religion. Per-
sons of a melancholy temperament seize on such ideas
as are most awful, and which furnish the greatest
opportunity of indulging in despondency and des-
pair. Sometimes, however, it is not religion which
occupies the minds and thoughts of the melancholy,
but their own health, which they imagine, without
reason, to be declining ; or their estates, which they
apprehend to be wasting away, and abject poverty
and beggary stare them in the face. Not unfrequent-
]y this disease alienates the mind entirely from reli-
gion, and the unhappy victim of it refuses to attend
upon any religious duties, or to be present where
they are performed. Frequently it assumes the form
of monomania, or a fixed misapprehension in regard
to some one thing. The celebrated and excellent
William Cowper laboured, for years, under one of
the most absurd hallucinations, respecting a single
point; and in that point, his belief — though invinci-
ble— was repugnant to the whole of his religious
creed. He imagined, that he had received from the
Almighty a command, at a certain time, when in a fit
of insanity, to kill himself; and as a punishment for
disobedience, he had forfeited a seat in paradise. And
so deep was this impression, that he would attend on
no religious worship, public or private ; and yet at
this very time took a lively interest in the advance-
ment of Christ's kingdom; and his judgment was so
sound on other matters, that such men, as John New-
ton and Thomas Scott, were in the habit of consult-
ing with him on all difficult points. The case of this
man of piety and genius, was used by the enemies of
religion, and particularly by the enemies of Calvin-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 63

ism, as an argument against the creed which he had
embraced ; whereas his disease was at the worst, be-
fore he had experienced any thing of religion, or had
embraced the tenets of Calvin. And, let it be remem-
bered, that it was by turning his attention to the con-
solations of religion, that his excellent physician was
successful in restoring his mind to tranquillity and
comfort ; and the world will one day learn, that of
all the remedies for this malady, the pure doctrines of
grace are the most effectual to resuscitate the melan-
choly mind. This is, in fact, a bodily disease, by
which the mind is influenced and darkened. Thus
it was received by the ancient Greeks; for the term is
compounded of two Greek words which signify black
bile. How near they were to the truth, in assigning
the physical cause which produces the disease, I leave
to others to determine. Casuists have often erred
egregiously, by referring all such cases to mental or
moral causes. It is probable, even when the disease
is brought on by strong impressions on the mind, that,
by these, physical derangement occurs. To reason
with a man against the views which arise from mel-
ancholy, is commonly as inefficacious, as reasoning
against bodily pain ! I have long made this a crite-
rion, to ascertain whether the dejection experienced
was owing to a physical cause ; for, in that case, argu-
ment though demonstrative, has no effect. Still such
'persons should be affectionately conversed with ; and
their peculiar opinions and views should rarely be con-
tradicted. Cases often occur, in which there is a mix-
ture of moral and physical causes ; and these should be
treated in reference to both sources of their affliction.
Melancholy is sometimes hereditary, and often consti-
tutional. When such persons are relieved for a while,
they are apt to relapse into the same state, as did Wil-
liam Cowper. The late excellent and venerable James
Hall, D. D. of North Carolina, was of a melancholy tem-
perament; and, after finishing his education at Princeton,
he fell into a gloomy dejection, which interrupted his stu-
dies and labours for more than a year. After his resto-
ration, he laboured successfully and comfortably in the

64 THOUGHTS ON

ministry for many years, even to old age ; but at last
was overtaken again, and entirely overwhelmed by this
terrible malady. Of all men, that I ever saw, he had
the tenderest sympathy with persons labouring under
religious despondency. When on a journey, I have
known him to travel miles out of his way to converse
with a sufferer of this kind ; and his manner was most
tender and affectionate in speaking to such.

I have remarked, that persons who gave no symp-
toms of this disease until the decline of life, have then
fallen under its power ; owing to some change in the
constitution at that period, or some change in their ac-
tive pursuits. I recollect two cases of overwhelming
melancholy in persons, who appeared in their former
life, as remote from it as any that I ever knew. The
first was a man of extraordinary talents, and eloquence ;
bold and decisive in his temper, and fond of company
and good cheer. When about fifty-five or six years of
age, without any external cause to produce the effect,
his spirits began to sink, and feelings of melancholy to
seize upon him. He avoided company ; but I had fre-
quent occasion to see him, and sometimes he could be
engaged in conversation, when he would speak as
judiciously as before ; but he soon reverted to his dark
melancholy mood. On one occasion he mentioned his
case to me, and observed with emphasis, that he had
no power whatever to resist the disease, and, said he,
with despair in his countenance, " I shall soon be utter-
ly overwhelmed." And so it turned out, for the disease
advanced until it ended in the worst form of mania, and
soon terminated his life. The other was the case of a
gentleman who had held office in the American army,
in the revolutionary war. About the same age, or a
little later, he lost his cheerfulness, which had never
been interrupted before, and by degrees, sunk into a
most deplorable state of melancholy, which as in the
former case, soon ended in death. In this case, the first
thing which I noticed, was, a morbid sensibility of the
moral sense, which filled him with remorse, for acts,
which had little or no moral turpitude attached to them.

I would state then, as the result of all my observa-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 65

tion, that religion, in its regular and rational exercise,
has no tendency to melancholy or insanity, but the
contrary; and that, religion is the most effectual re-
medy for this disease, whatever be its cause. But
melancholy persons are very apt to seize on the dark
side of religion, as affording food for the morbid state
of their minds. True Christians, as being subject to
like diseases with others, may become melancholy; but
not in consequence of their piety : but in this melan-
choly condition, they are in a more comfortable, as
well as in a safer state, than others. They may relin-
quish all their hopes; but they cannot divest them-
selves of their pious feelings.

I have said nothing respecting the supposed ten-
dency of strong religious feelings to produce insanity,
for what has been said respecting melancholy is equally
applicable to this subject. Indeed, I am of opinion,
that melancholy is a species of insanity; and in its
worst form, the most appalling species; for, in most
cases, insane persons seem to have many enjoyments,
arising out of their strange misconceptions, but the
victim of melancholy is miserable; he is often suffer-
ing under the most horrible of all calamities, black
despair. When a child, I used to tremble when I
read Bunyan's account, in his Pilgrim, of the man
shut up in the iron cage. And in the year 1791,
when I first visited the Pennsylvania Hospital, I saw
a man there who had arrived a few days before, said
to be in a religious melancholy, and to be in despair.
He had made frequent attempts on his own life, and
all instruments, by which he might accomplish that
direful purpose, were carefully removed. Having
never been accustomed to see insane persons, the
spectacle of so many, deprived of reason, made an
awful impression on my mind; but although some
were raving and blaspheming, in their cells, and
others confined in strait-jackets, the sight of no one so
affected me, as that of this man in despair. Although
near half a century has elapsed since I beheld his sor-
rowful countenance, there is still a vivid picture of it
in my imagination. We spoke to him, but he re-

66 THOUGHTS ON

turned no answer; except that he once raised his des-
pairing eyes; but immediately cast them down again.
Whether this man had been the subject of any re-
ligious impressions, I did not learn. But this one
thing, I must testify, that I never knew the most pun-
gent convictions of sin to terminate in insanity; and
as to the affections of love to God, and the lively hope
of everlasting life producing insanity, it is too absurd
for any one to believe it. I do not dispute, however,
that enthusiasm may have a tendency to insanity;
and some people are so ignorant of the nature of true
religion as to confound it with enthusiasm. I will go
further and declare, that, after much thought on the
subject of enthusiasm, I am unable to account for
the effects produced by it, in any other way, than by
supposing that it is a case of real insanity. Diseases
of this class are the more dangerous, because they are
manifestly contagious. The very looks and tones of
an enthusiast are felt to be powerful by every one ;
and when the nervous system of any one is in a state
easily susceptible of emotions from such a cause,
the dominion of reason is overthrown, and wild ima-
gination and irregular emotion govern the infatuated
person, who readily embraces all the extravagant
opinions, and receives all the disturbing impressions
which belong to the party infected. Without a sup-
position such as the foregoing, how can you account
for the fact, that an educated man and popular
preacher, and a wife, intelligent and judicious above
most, having a family of beloved children, should
separate from each other ; relinquish all the comforts
of domestic life, and a pleasant and promising con-
gregation, to connect themselves with a people who
are the extreme of all enthusiasts — the Shakers? But
such facts have been witnessed in our own times, and
in no small numbers. In a town in New Hampshire,
the writer, when in the neighbourhood, was told of
the case of a young preacher, who visited the Shaker
settlement, out of curiosity, to see them dance, in
which exercise their principal worship consists: but,
while he stood and looked on, he was seized with the

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 67

same spirit, and began to shake and dance too ; and
never returned, but remained in the society. But,
there being no demand for his learning or preaching
talents, whatever they might be — and he being an able
bodied man, they employed him in building stone
fences. This species of infatuation, which is called
enthusiasm, is apt to degenerate into bitterness and
malignity of spirit, towards all who do not embrace it,
and then it is termed fanaticism. This species of in-
sanity, as I must be permitted to call it, differs from
other kinds in that it is social, or affects large numbers
in the same way, and binds them together by the link
of close fraternity. It agrees with other kinds of mo-
nomania, in that the aberration of mind relates to one
subject, while the judgment may be sound in other
matters. No people know how to manage their agri-
cultural, horticultural, and mechanical business more
skilfully and successfully, than the Shakers. And the
newer sect of Mormons, would soon settle down to
peaceable industry, if the people would let them alone.
This country promises to be the theatre of all con-
ceivable forms of enthusiasm and fanaticism ; and as
long as these misguided people pursue their own course,
without disturbing other people, they should be left to
their own delusions, as it relates to the civil power;
but if any of them should be impelled by their fanati-
cal spirit, to disturb the peace, they should be treated
like other maniacs.

The causes of melancholy and insanity, whether
physical or moral, cannot easily be explored. The
physician will speak confidently about a lesion of the
brain, but when insane persons have been subjected to
a post-mortem examination, the brain very seldom
exhibits any appearance of derangement. The casu-
ist, on the other hand, thinks only of moral causes,
and attributes the disease to such of this class as are
known to have existed, or flees to hypothesis, which
will account for every thing. There is a remarkable
coincidence, however, which has fallen under my ob-
servation, between those who assign a moral and those

68 THOUGHTS ON

who assign a physical cause for melancholy and mad-
ness, in regard to one point. Some forty or fifty years
ago, the writer, about the same time, read Shepard's
« Sincere, Convert," and Robe on " Religious Melan-
choly/' and he noticed, that they both ascribe the deep
and fixed depression of spirits, frequently met with, to
a secret, criminal indulgence. Well, in the statistics
of several insane asylums and penitentiaries which
have been published recently, the most of the cases of
insanity are confidently ascribed to the same thing, as
its physical cause. This increasing evil is of such a
nature that we cannot be more explicit. Those who
ought to know the facts, will understand the reference.
It must, after all, be admitted that the claims of intem-
perance in the use of intoxicating drinks, to a delete-
rious influence on the reason, stand in the foremost
rank ; but the madness produced by this cause is com-
monly of short duration. I do not speak of that loss
of reason which is the immediate effect of alcohol on
the brain ; but of that most tremendous form of mad-
ness called delirium tremens. I have said that it was
short, because it is commonly the last struggle of the
human constitution, under the influence of a dreadful
poison, which has now consummated its work — and
death soon steps in and puts an end to the conflict.

After spending so much time in speaking of melan-
choly as a disease, I anticipate the thoughts of some
good people, who will be ready to say, What, is there
no such thing as spiritual desertion — times, of dark-
ness and temptation, which are independent of the
bodily temperament ? To which I answer, that I
fully believe there are many such cases ; but they de-
serve a separate consideration, and do not fall within
the compass of my present design. The causes, symp-
toms, and cure of such spiritual maladies are faith-
fully delineated by many practical writers; and although
these cases are entirely distinct from melancholy,
they assume, in many respects, similar symptoms,
and, by the unskilful casuist, are confounded with
it. These two causes, as I have before intimated.

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 69

may often operate together, and produce a mixed
and very perplexed case, both for the bodily and spi-
ritual physician.

After all that has been said, the fact, with which we
commenced, is that religious exercises are very much
modified by the temperament, and in some cases, by
the idiosyncrasy of the individual. The liquor put
into an old cask, commonly receives a strong tincture
from the vessel. Old habits, although a new govern-
ing principle is introduced into the system, do not yield
at once ; and propensities, apparently extinguished, are
apt to revive, and give unexpected trouble. It is a
comfortable thought, that those bodies cannot go with
the saints to heaven, until they are completely purified.
What proportion of our present feelings will be drop-
ped with the body, we cannot tell. How a disembodied
spirit will perceive, feel, and act, we shall soon know
by consciousness ; but, if ever so many of the departed
should return and attempt to communicate to us their
present mode of existence, it would be all in vain ; the
things, which relate to such a state, are inconceivable,
and unspeakable. What Paul saw in the third heaven
he dare not, or he could not communicate ; but he did
not know whether he saw these wonderful things in
the body or out of the body. This was a thing known,
as he intimates, only to God.

CHAPTER V.

Effect of sympathy illustrated.— Cautions in relation to this subject.— A
singular case in illustration.

The causes, already considered, which modify reli-
gious experience, relate to Christians as individuals:
but man is constitutionally a social being ; and reli-
gion is a social thing ; so that we cannot have a com-
plete view of this subject, without considering them
as they stand connected with others; and, especially,
as they are influenced by one another. There is a
mysterious bond, called symjjathy^ by which not only

70 THOUGHTS ON

human beings, but some species of animals are con-
nected. It is much easier, on this subject, to state
facts than to account for them. A man cannot go
into any company without being sensible of some
change in his feelings. Whatever passion agitates
those around him, he involuntarily participates in the
emotion ; and the mere external expression of any
feeling, often produces the same expression in himself,
whether it be yawning, smiling, crying, or coughing,
and this must be effected by an assimilation of the
mind of the beholder, to the state of mind which
produced the external act. The wilder and stronger
the passions which agitate others, the more are we
affected by them. This operation of mutual sympa-
thetic excitement, when many persons are brought
together under some agitating influence, produces a
stream of emotion which cannot easily be resisted; and
far above what any one of the crowd would have felt,
if the same cause had operated on him alone. Hence
the ungovernable fury of mobs, carrying desolation, and
often murder in their train ; and yet the ringleaders,
had they been alone, would have experienced no such
violence of passion; and hence the danger, in large
cities, of permitting multitudes of undisciplined peo-
ple to assemble promiscuously. A mob is an artifi-
cial body, pervaded by one spirit; by the power of
sympathy ; for which the French have an appropriate
phrase, esprit du corps. If there be any thing in
animal magnetism, which has of late made so much
noise, beside sheer imposture, it must be grafted on
this principle ; for the extent to which human beings
may influence each other, by contact or proximity, in
certain excitable states of the nervous system, has
never been accurately ascertained. In those remark-
able bodily affections, called the jerks, which appear-
ed in religious meetings some years ago, the nervous
irregularity was commonly produced by the sight of
other persons thus affected ; and if, in some instances,
without the sight, yet by having the imagination
strongly impressed by hearing of such things. It
is a fact, as undoubted as it is remarkable, that, as this

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 71

bodily affection assumed a great variety of appear-
ances, in different places, nothing was more common,
than for a new species of the exercise, as it was called,
to be imported from another part of the country, by
one or a few individuals. This contagion of nervous
excitement is not unparalleled ; for whole schools of
young ladies have been seized with spasmodic or epi-
leptic fits, in consequence of a single scholar being
taken with the disease. There are many authentic
facts ascertained in relation to this matter, which I
hope some person will collect and give to the public,
through the press. It will not be thought strange
then, that sympathy should have a powerful influence
in increasing and modifying the feelings which are
experienced in religious meetings ; nor is it desirable
that it should be otherwise. This principle, no doubt,
is liable to abuse, and when unduly excited, may be
attended with disagreeable and injurious effects, but
without it, how dull and uninteresting would social
worship be. When a whole assembly, in listening
to the same evangelical discourse, or praising God
in the same divine song, or sitting together around the
same sacramental table, are deeply affected, they form,
as it we«re, one body, and the whole mass is melted
down and amalgamated into one grand emotion.
They seem to have but one heart and one soul ; and
as harmoniously as their voices mingle in the sacred
song of praise to the Redeemer, do their feelings amal-
gamate in one ascending volume, towards heaven. The
preacher, who is privileged to address such an assem-
bly, seems to have before him one great body, having
many eyes, but one soul. Hence we see the reason,
why a company thinly scattered over a large house,
always appears cold and uncomfortable; while the
same persons brought near together, in a small house,
have an entirely different appearance; and also we
see why social meetings in private houses, are felt by
sincere Christians to be more profitable, often, than
the more solemn assemblies of the church. And,
upon the same principle, all worshippers feel more
animated when surrounded by a multitude. But, it

72 THOUGHTS ON

is in times of revival, or general awakening, that the
power of this principle manifests itself most evidently;
and it is no evidence of a spurious work, that the
sympathies of the people are much awakened, or that
many are led to seriousness by seeing others affected.
God often blesses this instinctive feeling in this very
way. But, is it not to be expected that, at such a
time, many will be affected by mere sympathy ? And
will not such as are thus affected, be in great danger
of being deceived, by taking these tender emotions
of sympathy to be the exercises of true repentance,
especially, as they fall in with those convictions of
conscience, which all who hear the gospel experience ?
Is it then judicious, by impassioned discourses, ad-
dressed to the sympathies of our nature, to raise this
class of feelings to a flame ? or to devise measures,
by which the passions of the young and ignorant may
be excited to excess ? That measures may be put
into operation, which have a mighty influence on a
whole assembly, is readily admitted; but are excite-
ments thus produced really useful ? They may bring
young people, who are diffident, to a decision, and as
it were, constrain them to range themselves on the
Lord's side, but the question which sticks with me, is,
does this really benefit the persons? In my judgment,
not at all, but the contrary. If they have the seed of
grace, though it may come forth slowly, yet this prin-
ciple will find its way to the light and air, and the
very slowness of its coming forward, may give it
opportunity to strike its roots deep in the earth. If I
were to place myself on what is called an anxious
seat, or should kneel down before a whole congrega-
tion to be prayed for, I know that I should be strangely
agitated, but I do not believe that it would be of any
permanent utility. But if it should produce some
good effect, am I at liberty to resort to any thing in
the worship of God which I think will be useful ? If
such things are lawful and useful, why not add other
circumstances to increase the effect ? Why not require
the penitent to appear in a white sheet, or to be clothed
in sackcloth, with ashes on his head ? and these, re-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 73

member, are Scriptural signs of humiliation. And
on these principles, who can reasonably object to holy
water, to incense, and the use of pictures or images in
the worship of God? All these things come into the
church upon this same principle, of devising new mea-
sures to do good; and if the anxious seat is so pow-
erful a means of grace, it may soon come to be reck-
oned among the sacraments of the church. The lan-
guage of experience is, that it is unsafe and unwise to
bring persons, who are under religious impressions,
too much into public view. The seed of the word,
like the natural seed, does not vegetate well in the
sun. Be not too impatient to force into maturity the
plant of grace. Water it, cultivate it, but handle it
not with a rough hand. The opinion entertained by
some good people, that all religion obtained in a revi-
val is suspicious, has no just foundation. At such
times, when the Spirit of God is really poured out,
the views and exercises of converts are commonly
more clear and satisfactory, than at other times, and
the process of conversion more speedy. But doubt**
less, there may be expected a considerable crop of
spurious conversions, and these may make the great-
est show; for the seed on the stony ground, seems to
have vegetated the quickest of any. And this is the
reason that, after all revivals, there is a sad declension
in the favourable appearances; because that which
has no root must soon wither. In looking back, after
a revival season, I have thought, how would matters
have been if none had come forward, but such as per-
severe and bring forth fruit? Perhaps things would
have gone on so quietly, that the good work would
not have been called a revival. But ministers cannot
prevent the impressions which arise merely from
sympathy — neither should they attempt it; but, when
they are about to gather the wheat into the garner,
they should faithfully winnow the heap; not that
they can discern the spirits of men, but the word of
God is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the
heart, The church is no place of safety for the un-
converted. Hundreds and thousands are shielded

7

74 THOUGHTS ON

from salutary convictions, by their profession and
situation in the church. Let ministers be "wise as
serpents," as well as u harmless as doves." "Be not
many masters, (S^atfxcaot) knowing that ye shall re-
ceive the greater condemnation." " They watch for
souls as they that must give account/' — awful ac-
count !

From what has been said about the power of
sympathy, some may be ready to conclude that all
experimental religion, and all revivals may be ac-
counted for, on this principle, without the necessity
of supposing any supernatural agency to exist; and
if no effects were produced but those excitements
which often mingle with religious exercises, this
would be no irrational conclusion. But under the
preaching of the gospel we find a permanent change
of moral character taking place : so great a change,
that, even in the view of the world who observe it,
the subject appears to be "a new man." An entire
revolution has taken place in his principles of action
'as well as in his sentiments respecting divine things.
Now those who would ascribe all experimental re-
ligion to mere natural feelings, artificially excited,
must believe that there are no such transformations
of character as have been mentioned; and that all
who profess such a change are false pretenders. But
this ground is manifestly untenable ; for no facts are
more certain than such reformations ; and if there be
men of truth and sincerity in the world, they are to
be found among those who have undergone this
moral transformation. Surely there are no pheno-
mena now taking place in our world half so impor-
tant and worthy of consideration, as the repentance
of an habitual sinner ; so that he utterly forsakes his
wicked courses, and takes delight in the worship of
God and obedience to his will. Let it be remem-
bered, that these are effects observed only where the
gospel is preached, and in some instances, numerous
examples of such conversions from sin to holiness
occur about the same time, and in the same place.
No series of miracles could give stronger evidence of

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 75

the divine origin and power of the gospel, than the
actual and permanent reformation of wicked men ;
and the skeptic may be challenged to account for
such effects on any natural principles. But it may
still be asked how the person who is the subject of
these new views and exercises, can know that they
are the effects of a supernatural agency? It is readily
admitted that we cannot be conscious of the agency
of another spirit on ours, because our consciousness
extends only to our own thoughts, and often when
new feelings arise in our minds we are unable to
trace them to their proper cause. In this case, if we
had no revelation from God, we might not be able
with certainty to account for such effects ; but in the
word of God we are distinctly and repeatedly in-
formed, that God by his Spirit will continue to ope-
rate on the minds of men, to turn them from iniquity,
and to cause them to engage with delight in his
service ; and when we find these very effects taking
place, in connexion with the means appointed to pro-
duce them, we can have no doubt about their divine
origin ; and our faith is confirmed in this doctrine
of divine agency by observing the wonderful change
produced by the preaching of the gospel upon the
most depraved and degraded of the heathen. The
transformation of character, in thousands of instances
now existing, is enough to produce conviction in any
mind, not rendered obdurate by the prejudices of infi-
delity. It may be objected, that, in many instances,
the change professed is not permanent, but temporary,
and they who appear saints to-day, may be found
wallowing in the mire of iniquity, to-morrow. These
are facts which we cannot gainsay; but we do deny
that they go to invalidate the argument from the ex-
amples of a permanent, and thorough change which
do really take place. If there were only one real,
sound conversion, and reformation, in a hundred of
those who may be religiously impressed, still, the
conclusion in favour of a divine influence, would be
valid. In the spring we behold the trees clothed and
adorned with millions of blossoms, which never pro-

76 THOUGHTS ON

duce mature fruit ; but when in autumn, we find here
and there, apples, large, sweet, and mellow, do we
hesitate to believe that this is a good tree which pro-
duces good fruit? For reasons already given, it
ought not to be expected that all serious impressions
should eventuate in a sound conversion. External
appearances may be the same to our view, where
the causes are entirely diverse. This is especially to
be expected when a great many are affected at once,
and meet in the same assembly. And if these tran-
sient appearances did not take place under the preach-
ing of the gospel, our Saviour's doctrine of the various
effects of the word would not be verified. Ministers
of the gospel cannot be blamed for these temporary
impressions ; unless they use unauthorized means to
work upon the sympathies of their hearers. That,
through ignorance, vanity and enthusiastic ardour,
many preachers in our day, have attempted to pro-
duce such excitements, cannot be denied, and by the
true friends of vital piety, is greatly lamented. Per-
haps nothing has so much prejudiced the minds of
sensible men against experimental religion, as the ex-
travagance and violence of those factitious excite-
ments which have been promoted, in various places,
by measures artfully contrived to work upon the pas-
sions and imagination of weak and ignorant people.
And as the preacher must have his reward of glory
for his efforts, all this must be so brought out, that
their number may be counted and published to* the
world. Alas! alas! poor human nature! I believe
that all respectable denominations, among us, are be-
coming more and more sensible, that something more
is requisite in the ministry than fiery zeal. Some
who, within our remembrance, disparaged a learned
ministry, are now using noble exertions to erect semi-
naries, and encourage their young preachers to seek
to be learned. This is a matter of rejoicing, and
augurs well for the American Church hereafter. I
should be unwilling to bring before the public all the
scenes that I have witnessed under the name of re-
ligious worship. But as the subject of sympathy is

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 77

still under consideration, I will relieve the reader by
a short narrative. Being in a part of the country
where I was known, by face, to scarcely any one, and
hearing that there was a great meeting in the neigh-
bourhood, and a good ivork in progress, I determined
to attend. The sermon had commenced before I
arrived, and the house was so crowded that I could
not approach near to the pulpit, but sat down in a
kind of shed connected with the main building where
I could see and hear the preacher. His sermon was
really striking and impressive, and in language and
method, fair above the common run of extempore dis-
courses. The people were generally attentive, and,
so far as I could observe, many were tenderly affected,
except that in the extreme part of the house, where I
sat, some old tobacco-planters kept up a continual
conversation in a low tone, about tobacco-plants,
seasons, &c. When the preacher came to the appli-
cation of his discourse he became exceedingly vehe-
ment and boisterous, and I could hear some sounds in
the centre of the house which indicated strong emo-
tion. At length, a female voice was heard, in a
piercing cry, which thrilled through me and affected
the whole audience. It was succeeded by a low
murmuring sound from the middle of the house ; but,
in a few seconds, one and another arose in different
parts of the house, under extreme and visible agita-
tion. Casting off bonnets and caps, and raising their
folded hands, they shouted to the utmost extent of
their voice; and in a few seconds more, the whole
audience was agitated, as a forest when shaken by a
mighty wind. The sympathetic wave, commencing
in the centre, extended to the extremities; and at
length it reached our corner, and I felt the conscious
effort of resistance as necessary as if I had been ex-
posed to the violence of a storm. I saw few persons
through the whole house who escaped the prevailing
influence ; even careless boys seemed to be arrested
and to join in the general outcry. But what aston-
ished me most of all was, that the old tobacco-planters,
whom I have mentioned, and who, I am persuaded,

78 THOUGHTS ON

had not heard one word of the sermon, were violently
agitated. Every muscle of their brawny faces ap-
peared to be in tremulous motion, and the big tears
chased one another down their wrinkled cheeks.
Here I saw the power of sympathy. The feeling
was real, and propagated from person to person by
the mere sounds which were uttered ; for many of the
audience had not paid any attention to what was said;
but nearly all partook of the agitation. The feelings
expressed were different, as when the foundation of
the second temple was laid; for while some uttered
the cry of poignant anguish, others shouted in the
accents of joy and triumph. The speaker's voice
was soon silenced, and he sat down and gazed on the
scene with a complacent smile. When this tumult
had lasted a few minutes, another preacher, as I sup-
pose he was, who sat on the pulpit steps, with his
handkerchief spread over his head, began to sing a
soothing and yet lively tune, and was quickly joined
by some strong female voices near him ; and in less
than two minutes the storm was hushed, and there
was a great calm. It was like pouring oil on the
troubled waters. I experienced the most sensible re-
lief to my own feelings from the appropriate music;
for I could not hear the words sung. But I could not
have supposed that any thing could so quickly allay
such a storm; and all seemed to enjoy the tranquil-
lity which succeeded. The dishevelled hair was put
in order, and the bonnets, &c. gathered up, and the
irregularities of the dress adjusted, and no one seemed
conscious of any impropriety. Indeed, there is a pe-
culiar luxury in such excitements, especially when
tears are shed copiously, which was the case here.
But I attended another meeting in another place
where there had been a remarkable excitement, but
the tide was far on the ebb; and although we had
vociferation and outcrying of a stunning kind, I did
not hear one sound indicative of real feeling, and I do
not think that one tear was shed during the meeting.

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 79

CHAPTER VI.

Erroneous views of regeneration. — The correct view. — The operation of
faith. — Exercises of mind, as illustrated in President Edwards's narrative. —
The operations of faith still further explained.

It is proper now to inquire, what are the precise
effects of regeneration, or the exercises of a newly
converted soul ? As the restoration of depraved man
to the image of God, lost by the fall, is the grand ob-
ject aimed at in the whole economy of salvation, it
can easily be said, in the general, that by this change
a principle of holiness is implanted, spiritual life is
communicated, the mind is enlightened, the will re-
newed, and the affections purified and elevated to
heavenly objects. Such general descriptions do not
afford full satisfaction to the inquiring mind ; and as
we have taken into view many of those circumstances
which diversify the exercises of grace, in different sub-
jects, let us now endeavour to ascertain, with as much
precision as we can, what are those things which are
essential to the genuineness of this work, and which,
therefore, will be found in every sincere Christian.
But in this attempt, great difficulty must be met in
conveying our ideas with precision. Even those terms
which are most used in the Holy Scriptures, to desig-
nate the essential exercises of piety are differently
understood, and when used, convey different ideas to
different persons. I will endeavour, however, to avoid
this difficulty, as much as possible, by defining the
terms which I employ. I have all along admitted, that
the mode of the Spirit's operation, in regeneration, is
altogether inscrutable : and an attempt to explain it, is
worse than folly. We may, however, without intrud-
ing into things unseen, or attempting to dive into the
unsearchable nature of the divine operations, say, that
God operates on the human mind, in a way perfectly
consistent with its nature, as a spirit, and a creature of
understanding and will. On this principle some sup-

80 THOUGHTS ON

pose, that there can be no other method of influencing
a rational mind but by the exhibition of truth, or the
presentment of motives : any physical operation, they
allege, would be unsuitable. Their theory of regene-
ration, therefore, is, that it is produced by the moral
operation of the truth, contemplated by the under-
standing, and influencing the affections and the will,
according to the known principles of our rational na-
ture. But respecting what is necessary to bring the
truth fairly before the mind, the abettors of this theory
divide into several parts. The Pelagian, believing hu-
man nature to be uncontaminated, and needing nothing
but a correct knowledge of the truth, rejects all super-
natural aid, and maintains, that every man has full
ability to perform all good actions, and to reform
what is amiss, by simply attending to the instructions
of the word, and exercising his own free will, by
which he is able to choose and pursue what course
he pleases. The semi-Pelagian agrees with the views
given, except in one particular. He believes that the
truth, if seriously contemplated, will produce the effects
stated, but that mankind are so immersed in the world
of sensible objects, and so occupied and filled with
earthly thoughts and cares, that no man will, or ever
does contemplate the truth so impartially and steadily,
as to produce a change in his affections and purposes,
until he is influenced by the Holy Spirit ; and, accord-
ing to him, the only need of divine agency, in regene-
ration, is to direct and fix the attention on divine
things. This being done, the truth, as contained in
the divine word, and as apprehended by the natu-
ral understanding, is adequate to produce all the de-
sired effects on the active principles of our nature.
There is still a third party, who attribute regenera-
tion to the simple operation of the truth on the
mind, whose views are neither Pelagian nor semi-
Pelagian. They hold, that the natural man cannot dis-
cern the things of the Spirit of God, and that if a man
should ever so long contemplate the truth with such
views as natural reason takes of it, it would never
transform him into the divine likeness ; but that, by

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 81

the illumination of the Holy Spirit, the sinner must
obtain new, spiritual views of divine things, by which
he is renovated or regenerated : yet, these deny that
any operation on the mind itself is necessary, as they
allege that these spiritual views of truth will cer-
tainly draw after them the exercise of those affections,
in which holiness essentially consists. Now, in my
judgment, this theory is defective, only in one point,
and that is, it supposes the mind, which is already in
possession of doctrinal knowledge of the truth, ft)
have this same truth presented to it in an entirely new
light, without any operation on the soul itself. Just
as if a man was blind, but standing in the clear
shining of the sun's rays. These he feels, and can
talk philosophically about the sensation of light and
colours ; while he has not in his mind the first simple
perception of any object of sight. Could this man be.
made to perceive the visible objects around him,
without an operation on the eyes to remove the ob-
struction, or to rectify the organ? The case of the
s6ul is entirely analogous. Here is light enough ; the
truth is viewed by the intellect of unregenerate man,
but has no transforming efficacy. The fault is not in
the truth, which is perfect, but the blindness is in the
mind, which can only be removed by an influence on
the soul itself; that is, by the power of God creating
"a new heart/' to use the language of Scripture.
The apostle Paul was sent to the Gentiles " to open
their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light."
Two things are always necessary to distinct vision,
the medium of light, and a sound organ; either of
these without the other, would be useless ; but com-
bined, the beauties of nature, and the glory of God in
the visible world, are seen with delight. It is so in
the spiritual world. The truth is necessary; but until
the mind is brought into a state in which it can per-
ceive it in its beauty and glory, it is heard, and read,
and contemplated, without any transforming effect —
without drawing the affections to God, or subduing
the power of selfish and sensual desires. The fault
existing in the percipient being, there must be such an

82 THOUGHTS ON

exertion of divine power as will remove it, and this is
regeneration. Then, all the effects of the truth will
take place, as according to the former theory. But I
seem to hear the common objection, that if the soul be
the subject of any operation, this must he physical, and
what is this but to make man a mere machine, or to
deal with him as if he were a block? I believe that a
more ambiguous, unhappy word could not be used than
physical; the best way to get clear of the mists which
surround it, is to drop its use altogether in this connex-
ion. Indeed, it is a term which properly belongs to
another science — to natural philosophy. If the opera-
tion must have a name, let it receive it from the nature
of the effect produced ; this being spiritual, let it be
called a spiritual operation ; or, as the effect produced,
is confessedly above the powers of unassisted nature,
let us call it supernatural, which is the precise techni-
cal term, used by the most accurate theologians. Can
the Almighty, who made the soul, operate upon it in no
other way than by a mechanical force ? Cannot he re-
store its lost power of spiritual perception and suscepti-
bility of holy feeling, without doing any violence to its
free and spiritual nature ? But I shall be told, that
there neither is, nor can be, any moral or spiritual na-
ture, or disposition prior to volition, in the mind — for
morality consists, essentially, in choice ; and to suppose
morality to have any other existence, than in the trans-
ient act, is an absurdity. If this be sound moral phi-
losophy, then my theory must fall. This is a question
not requiring or admitting of much reasoning. It is a
subject for the intuitive judgment of the moral faculty.
If there are minds so constituted, that they cannot con-
ceive of permanent, latent dispositions in the soul, both
good and evil, I can do no more than express my strong
dissent from their opinion, and appeal to the common
sense of mankind.

Some of my most serious readers, I know, will ob-
ject to my theory of the mind's operations, in one
important particular. They are so far from thinking
that any illumination of the mind will produce holy
affections, that it is a radical principle in their philos-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 83

ophy of religion, that light always increases or stirs
up the enmity of an unregenerate heart; that the
more unholy beings know of God, the more they
will hate him, as is supposed to be proved by the ex-
perience of thousands under conviction of sin ; and
by the case of the devils wfio believe and tremble,
but never love. The difference between me and these
persons is not so great as at first view it seems. Their
error consists, if I am right, in making too wide a
severance between the understanding and the will;
between the intellect and the affections. I am ready
to admit that all the knowledge which you can com-
municate to a man remaining unregenerate, may have
the tendency of increasing or stirring up his enmity to
God and his law ; but, observe, that I make illumina-
tion the first effect of regeneration. And I hold that
no unregenerate man is, while in that state, any more
capable of spiritual perception than a blind man is of a
perception of colours. The blind man, however, has
his own ideas about colours, and may understand their
various relations to each other, and all the laws which
regulate the reflection and refraction of light as well as
those who see. This was remarkably exemplified in
the case of Dr. Sanderson, who, though blind from his
early infancy, delivered an accurate course of lectures,
on light and colours, in the University of Oxford. Just
so, an unregenerate man may be able to deliver able
lectures on all the points in theology, and yet not have
one glimpse of the beauty and glory of the truth, with
which he is conversant. The sacred Scriptures re-
present all unconverted men, as destitute of the true
knowledge of God. If there be a clear truth in the
laws of mental operation, it is, that the affections are
in exact accordance with the views of the under-
standing. If men are unaffected with the truth
known, it must be because they do not know it
aright : neither can they perceive it in its true nature
until they are regenerated. Did any man ever see
an object to be lovely and not feel an emotion cor-
responding with that quality? And what unconvert-
ed man ever beheld in Christ, as represented in Scrip-

84 THOUGHTS ON

ture, the beauty and glory of God ? Hence that doc-
trine is not true, which confines depravity or holiness
to the will; and which considers the understanding
as a natural and the will as a moral faculty. The soul
is not depraved or hol]£ by departments ; the disease
affects it, as a soul ; and of course all faculties em-
ployed in moral exercises, must partake of their moral
qualities. There is, however, no propriety in calling
either of them a moral faculty; for although both
understanding and will are concerned in every moral
act, yet not one hundredth part of the acts of either
partakes of a moral nature. The will is just as much
a natural faculty as the understanding ; and the un-
derstanding is as much a moral faculty as the will.
But in strict propriety of speech, the only faculty
which deserves to be called a moral faculty is con-
science ; because, by it only are we capable of moral
perceptions or feelings.

I am afraid that I have gone too far into abstruse
distinctions, for most of my readers; but there are
thousands of plain, private Christians, in our country,
who not only can enter into such disquisitions, but
will relish them.

I come now to what I intended when I began this
subject, to describe as exactly as I can, what are the
exercises of the new heart, or the regenerate man.
And here my appeal is to no theories, but to experi-
ence, combined with the word of God. Every man,
on whom this divine operation has passed, experi-
ences new views of divine truth. The soul sees, in
these things, that which it never saw before. It dis-
cerns, in the truth of God, a beauty and excellence,
of which it had no conception until now. Whatever
may be the diversity in the clearness of the views of
different persons, or in the particular truths brought
before the mind, they all agree in this, that there is a
new perception of truth; whether you ascribe it to
the head or the heart, I care not. It is a blessed re-
ality, and there are many witnesses of sound mind,
and unquestionable veracity, who are ready to attest
it as a verity, known in their own delightful experi-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 85

ence. But, as the field of truth is very wide, and
divine things may be perceived under innumerable
aspects and relations, and as there is no uniformity in
the particular objects which may first occupy the atten-
tion of the enlightened mind, it is impossible to lay
down any particular order of exercises which take
place. The case may be illustrated by supposing a
great multitude of blind persons restored to sight by
an act of divine power. Some of them would be so
situated, that the first object seen would be the glori-
ous luminary of day ; another might receive the gift
of sight in the night, and the moon and stars would
absorb his wondering attention ; a third might direct
his opened eyes to a beautiful landscape ; and a
fourth might have but a ray of light shining into a
dark dungeon without his knowing whence it came.
Of necessity, there must be the same endless variety
in the particular views of new converts ; but still they
all partake of new views of divine truth ; and the
same truths will generally be contemplated, sooner
or later ; but not in the same order, nor exhibited to
all with the same degree of clearness. Now, accord-
ing to the views which I entertain, this spiritual
knowledge granted to the regenerated soul is nothing
else but saving faith ; for knowledge and belief in-
volve each other. To know a thing and not believe
it is a contradiction ; and to believe a thing and not
know it is impossible. Faith is simply a belief of
the truths when viewed as distinct, and discriminated
from all other mental acts. Some will be startled at
this nakedness of faith ; and many will be ready to
object, that it is to make faith to be no more than a
bare assent of the understanding to the truth : well,
if it be uniformly accompanied by all holy affections
and emotions what is the difference ? But I deny that
as described, it is a naked assent of the understand-
ing, as those words are commonly understood. The
wide distinction between the understanding and will,
which has very much confounded our mental philo-
sophy, has come down to us from the schoolmen.
But in making the distinction, they made simple

8

j

86 THOUGHTS ON

verity, the object of the understanding. And that is
what we commonly mean by bare assent; it relates
to the simple truth ; but the will, has respect, they
said, to good — every species of good. Now the faith
of which I have spoken, at the same time contem-
plates the truth, and the beauty, excellency, and good-
ness of the object, and also its adaptedness to our
necessities: all these things are comprehended in the
views which the Holy Spirit gives to the mind.
Therefore, though faith be a simple uncompounded
act, a firm belief, or persuasion, it comprehends the
objects ascribed both to the understanding and the will.
Here I shall be met by a definition of faith, which
makes the act simple also, but considers that act to
be trust or confidence. This the reader will remem-
ber is Dr. Dwight's definition of Faith. And the
only objection to it, is, that it is too narrow to com-
prehend all that belongs to the subject. Trust is noth-
ing else than the firm belief or persuasion of the
truth of a promise. When we say that we trust, or
have confidence in a person, it relates to some pro-
mise. This definition comprehends all acts of faith,
which have a promise of God for their object, and
these are certainly the most important acts, and ac-
companied with the most sensible emotions. But all
divine truth is not in the form of a promise. The
whole word of God is the proper object of a true
faith ; and a large part of divine revelation is taken
up with histories, prophecies, doctrines, and precepts.
The Christian believes all these, as well as the pro-
mises.

Here faith is the first act of the regenerated soul ;
and the most important act, for it draws all holy
affections and emotions in its train. But though it
sweetly mingles with every other grace, it is distinct
from them all. All its diversified acts arise from the
nature of the truths believed, and men may enume-
rate and name as many of these acts as they please ;
still the nature of faith remains simple. It is a firm
persuasion or belief of the truth, apprehended under
the illumination of the Holy Spirit. It necessarily

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 87

works by love and purifies the heart, for divine things
thus discerned, cannot but excite the affections to holy-
objects, by which sinful desires and appetites will be
subdued ; and when we are persuaded of the truth of
God's gracious promises, there will always be a sweet
repose of soul, because the promises contain the very
blessings which we need ; and to be assured that there
are such blessings for all who will receive them, and
especially if the soul is conscious that it is exercising
faith, will produce sweet consolation — There is "joy
and peace in believing."

According to the view of faith now given, there is
nothing mysterious about it. To believe in divine
truth is an act of the mind, precisely the same as to
believe in other truth ; and the difference between a
saving faith and a historical or merely speculative
faith, consists not in the truths believed, for in both
they are the same ; nor in the degree of assent given
to the proposition, but in the evidence on which they
are respectively founded. A saving faith is produced
by the manifestation of the truth, in its true nature to
the mind, which now apprehends it, according to the
degree of faith, in its spiritual qualities, its beauty,
and glory, and sweetness ; whereas a historical or
speculative faith may rest on the prejudices of edu-
cation, or the deductions of reason ; but in its exer-
cise, there is no conception of the true qualities of
divine things. The humblest, weakest believer pos-
sesses a knowledge of God, hidden from the wisest
of enlightened men ; according to that saying of
Christ, " I thank thee, 0 Father, Lord of heaven and
earth, that thou hast hid these things from the wise
and prudent, and hast revealed them to babes."

On the subject of experimental religion our depen-
dence must not be on the theories of men, but on the
unerring word of God, and on the facts which have
been observed in the experience of true Christians.
In the exercises of new converts there is, in some re-
spects, a remarkable similarity, and in others a remark-
able variety. All are convinced of sin, not only of
life but of heart. All are brought to acknowledge

88 THOUGHTS ON

the justice of God, in their condemnation, and to feel
that they might be left to perisih, without any dero-
gation from the perfections of God ; and that they
have no ability to bring God under any obligations to
save them, by their prayers, tears, or other religious
duties. All true Christians, moreover, love the truth
which has been revealed to their minds, and are led
to trust in Christ alone for salvation; and they all
hunger and thirst after righteousness, and resolve to
devote themselves to the service of God, and prefer
his glory above their chief joy. But, besides those
varieties already described, as arising from several
causes, there is often much difference in their exerci-
ses, arising from the particular truths which they are
led to contemplate when their eyes are first opened.
I do not mean to go over the ground which we have
already passed, otherwise than by a statement of facts
from authentic sources, which may serve to corrobor-
ate and illustrate the statements already given. Per-
haps no man, who has lived in modern times, has had
a better opportunity to form an accurate judgment of
facts of this kind, than President Edwards ; and few
men, who ever lived, were better qualified to discrim-
inate between true and false religion. It is a thing
much to be prized, that this great and good man has
left a record of that most remarkable revival which
took place in Northampton, New England, in the year
1734 and onwards. This narrative was written soon
afterwards, and was communicated to Dr. Watts and
Dr. Guyse, who united in a preface which accompa-
nied the narrative, when published in London. In
this account, carefully drawn up, we have a satisfac-
tory account of the exercises of the subjects of the
work, with the varieties which were observed in the
experience of different persons. The leading facts
have here been selected from the narrative, so as to
occupy the least possible room. To any, who take
an interest in this subject, these facts cannot but be
gratifying ; and however the narrative may have been
perused by some, yet it will not be disagreeable to
them to have some of the prominent traits of the

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 89

religious exercises, at that time, presented to them in
a condensed form. Mr. Edwards informs us, " that
there was scarcely a single person in the town, old or
young, left unconcerned about the great things of the
eternal world ;" and although he does not pretend to
know the precise number of converts, he is of opinion
that it could not be less, in the judgment of charity,
than three hundred. Our object is not to abridge the
narrative, but merely to select the account of the vari-
ety of exercises experienced, as there given. " There
is a great variety," says he, " as to the degree of
trouble and fear, that persons are exercised with, be-
fore they attain any comfortable evidence of pardon
and acceptance with God. Some are from the begin-
ning carried on with abundantly more hope and en-
couragement than others. Some have had ten times
less trouble than others, in whom the work yet ap-
pears the same in the issue The awful apprehen-
sions persons have had of their misery have, for the
most part, been increasing, the nearer they have ap-
proached to deliverance. Sometimes they think them-
selves wholly senseless, and fear that the Spirit of God
has left them, and that they are given up to judicial
hardness, yet they appear very deeply exercised with
that fear, and in great earnestness to obtain conviction
again. Many times, persons under great awakenings
were concerned because they thought they were not
awakened, but miserably hard-hearted, senseless, sot-
tish creatures still, and sleeping on the brink of hell

Persons are sometimes brought to the borders of des-
pair, and it looks as black as midnight to them, a
little before the day dawns on their souls. The de-
pravity of the heart has discovered itself in various
exercises, in the time of legal convictions. Some-
times it appears as in a great struggle, like something
roused by an enemy. Many, in such circumstances,
have felt a great spirit of envy towards the godly; es-
pecially towards those thought to have been recently
converted. As they are gradually more and more
convinced of the corruption and wickedness of their
hearts, they seem to themselves to grow worse and

90 THOUGHTS ON

worse, harder and blinder, more desperately wicked,

instead of growing better When awakenings first

begin, their consciences are commonly more exercised
about their outward vicious courses, but afterwards
are much more burdened with a sense of heart sins,
the dreadful corruption of their nature, their enmity
against God, the pride of their hearts, their unbelief,
their rejection of Christ, the stubbornness of their will,

and the like Very often, under first awakenings,

they set themselves to walk more strictly, confess
their sins, and perform many religious duties, with a
secret hope of appeasing God's anger. And some-
times, at first setting out, their affections are so moved,
that they are full of tears, in their confessions and
prayers, which they are ready to make much of, as
if they were some atonement, and conceive that they
grow better apace, and shall soon be converted; but
their affections and hopes are short-lived, for they
quickly find that they fail, and then they think them-
selves to be grown worse again. When they reflect
on the wicked working of their hearts against God,
they have more distressing apprehensions of his anger,
and have great fears that God will never show mercy
to them ; or perhaps, that they have committed the
unpardonable sin, and are often tempted to leave off

in despair When they begin to seek salvation,

they are commonly profoundly ignorant of themselves.
They are not sensible how blind they are, and how
little they can do, to bring themselves to see spiritual
things aright, and towards putting forth gracious ex-
ercises in their own souls. When they see unexpect-
ed pollution in themselves, they go about to wash
their own defilements and make themselves clean ;
and they weary themselves in vain, till God shows
them that it is in vain; and that their help is not
where they have sought it. But some persons con-
tinue to wander in such a labyrinth ten times as long
as others, before their own experience will convince
them of their own insufficiency — so that it is not their
own experience at last, that convinces them, but the
Spirit of God. There have been some who have

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 91

not had great terrors, but yet have had a very quick
work. Some, who have not had very deep convic-
tions before their conversion, have much more of it
aftemvards. God has appeared far from limiting him-
self to any certain method, in his proceedings with
sinners, under legal convictions. There is in nothing
a greater difference in different persons, than with
respect to the time of their being under trouble :
some but a few days, and others for months and
years. As to those in whom legal convictions seem
to have a saving issue, the first thing that appears
after their trouble, is a conviction of the justice of God
in their condemnation, from a sense of their exceeding
sinfulness. Commonly, their minds, immediately be-
fore the discovery of God's justice, are exceedingly
restless — in a kind of struggle or tumult; and some-
times in mere anguish; but commonly, as soon as
they have this conviction, it immediately brings their
minds to a calm and unexpected quietness and compo-
sure ; and most frequently, then, though not always,
the pressing weight upon their spirits is taken off; or
a general hope arises, that some time God will be
gracious, even before any distinct, particular discove-
ries of mercy. Commonly, they come to a conclusion,

that they will lie at God's feet and wait his time

That calm of spirit which succeeds legal conviction,
in some instances, continues some time before any
special and delightful manifestation is made to the
soul, of the grace of God, as revealed in the gospel.
But, very often some comfortable and sweet views of
a merciful God, of a sufficient Redeemer, or of some
great and joyful things of the gospel, immediately
follow, or in a very little time. And in some, the
first sight of their desert of hell, of God's sovereignty
in regard to their salvation, and a discovery of all-
sufficient grace, are so near, that they seem to go
together. The gracious discoveries, whence the first
special comforts are derived, are, in many respects,
very various. More frequently, Christ is distinctly
made the object of the mind, in his all-sufficiency and
willingness to save sinners ; but some have their

92

THOUGHTS ON

thoughts more especially fixed on God, in some of
his sweet and glorious attributes, manifested in the
Gospel and shining forth of Jesus Christ. Some view
the all-sufficiency of the grace of God — some chiefly,
the infinite power of God and his ability to save them,
and to do all things for them — 'and some look most to
the truth and faithfulness of God. In some, the truth
and certainty of the Gospel, in general, is the first
joyful discovery they have : in others, the certain
proof of some particular promise. In some, the grace
and sincerity of God, in his invitations, very com-
monly, in some particular invitation, is before the
mind. Some are struck with the glory and wonder-
fulness of the dying love of Christ ; and others with
the sufficiency of his blood, as offered to make an
atonement for sin ; and others again, with the value
and glory of his obedience and righteousness. In
many, the excellency and loveliness of Christ chiefly
engage their thoughts, while in some, his divinity ;
being filled with the idea, that He is indeed the Son
of the living God ; and in others, the excellency of
the way of salvation by Christ, and the suitableness

of it to their necessities There is often in the mind,

some particular text of Scripture, holding forth some
particular ground of consolation; at other times, a
multitude of texts, gracious invitations, and promises,
flowing in one after another, filling the soul more and
more with comfort and satisfaction. Comfort is first
given to some while reading some portion of Scripture;
but in others, it is attended with no particular Scripture
at all. In some instances, many divine things seem to
be discovered to the soul at once ; while others have
their minds fixed on some one thing ; and afterwards
a sense of others is given ; in some, with a slower, in
others, a swifter succession.

"It must be confessed, that Christ is not always
distinctly and explicitly thought of in the first sensible
act of grace — though most commonly he is — but some-
times he is the object of the mind only implicitly.
Thus when persons have evidently appeared stripped
of their own righteousness, and have stood condemn-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 93

ed, as guilty of death, they have been comforted with
a joyful and satisfactory evidence, that the mercy
and grace of God is sufficient for them — that their
sins, though never so great, shall be no hindrance to
their being accepted — that there is mercy enough in
God for the whole world, &c. — while they give no ac-
count of any particular or distinct thought of Christ ;
but yet it appears, that the revelation of mercy, in the
gospel, is the ground of their encouragement and
hope ; yet such persons afterwards obtain distinct and
clear discoveries of Christ, accompanied with lively
and special actings of faith and love towards him.
Frequently, when persons have had the gospel ground
of relief opened to them, and have been entertaining
their minds with the sweet prospect, they have thought
nothing at that time of their being converted. The
view is joyful to them as it is in its own nature glori
ous; gives them quite new and delightful ideas of
God and Christ, and greatly encourages them to seek
conversion, and begets in them a strong resolution to
devote themselves to God and his Son. There is
wrought in them a holy repose of soul in God through
Christ, with a secret disposition to fear and love him,
and to hope for blessings from him in this way, yet
they have no conception that they are now converted ;
it does not so much as come into their minds. They
know not that the sweet complacence they feel in the
mercy and complete salvation of God, as it includes
pardon and sanctification, and is held forth to them
through Christ, is a true receiving of this mercy, or a
plain evidence of their receiving it. Many continue
a long time in a course of gracious exercises and ex-
periences, and do not think themselves to be convert-
ed, but conclude otherwise; and none knows how
long they would continue so, were they not helped
by particular instructions. There are undoubted in-
stances of some who lived in this way for many years
together. Those who, while under legal convictions,
have had the greatest terrors, have not always ob-
tained the greatest light and comfort ; nor has the
light always been most speedily communicated 3 but

94 THOUGHTS ON

yet I think the time of conversion has been most sen-
sible in such persons. Converting influences com-
monly bring an extraordinary conviction of the cer-
tainty and reality of the great things of religion; though
in some, this is much greater, sometime after conver-
sion, than at first."

The religious exercises, contained in the preceding ..
statement, will not be new to those who have been at
all conversant with revivals. Such will recognize, in
the account, what they have observed, and will be
gratified to find the same facts which they have ob-
served, recorded and published by such a master in
Israel. Almost the only remark which I feel disposed
to make, is, that it is too commonly supposed that the
time of receiving comfort, is always the time of re-
generation; whereas, this might rather be termed the
time of conversion ; for then the exercises of the re-
newed soul came to a crisis, and faith, which was
before weak and obscure, shines forth with vigour.
Perhaps it is the prevalent opinion among orthodox
writers, that the first views of the renovated soul are
views of Christ ; and when mere legal convictions are
immediately followed by such views and their attend-
ant consolations, this opinion may be correct ; but in
many cases, it is reasonable to believe, that the con-
victions experienced are those of the true penitent.
And as, in almost all cases here recorded and observ-
ed by others, there is a distinct view and approbation
of God's justice in the condemnation of the sinner, I
cannot but think, agreeably to what was stated in a
former chapter, that the soul has passed from death
unto life, before these feelings are experienced; and
that may help to account for the remarkable calm
which now succeeds the dark and stormy night. This
revelation of Jesus Christ in the believer, may be
compared to the birth of a child into the light of this
world ; but its conception was long before. And so
this interesting point in experience is the new birth,
but the principle of spiritual life commonly exists be-
fore. Besides, comfort is no sure evidence of a genu-
ine birth ; some who become strong men in the Lord

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 05

are born in sorrow. They weep before they are able
to smile ; but, in the spiritual birth, joy and sorrow
often sweetly mingle their streams.

There are two reasons why faith, though one of
the simplest exercises of the mind, is represented as
having so many different acts ; the one is, the great
variety in the truths believed ; and the other, that,
commonly, various exercises are included in the ac-
count of faith, which do always accompany or follow
a true faith, but do not appertain to its essence. As
faith has all revealed truth for its object, the feelings
produced in the mind correspond with the particular
nature of the truth which is, at any time, in the con-
templation of the mind. If, by the soul under the
illumination of the Holy Spirit, the law is viewed in
its spirituality and moral excellence, while there will
be experienced an approbation of the will of God
thus expressed, yet a lively sense of the sinfulness of
our hearts and lives, must be the predominant feel-
ing. This discovery of the purity of the law, and
this deep feeling of the evil of sin, commonly precede
any clear view of Christ, and the plan of salvation; and
this has given rise to the prevalent opinion, that re-
pentance goes before faith in the natural order of
pious exercises. But, according to our idea of faith,
as given above, it must necessarily precede and be
the cause of every other gracious exercise. Com-
monly, indeed, when we speak of faith, we describe
its maturity; but there are often many obscure but
real acts of faith, before the soul apprehends the ful-
ness, and excellency, and suitableness of Christ. And
in many cases, when some view of the plan of salva-
tion is obtained, the single truth believed is, the ability
of Christ to save ; and even the full persuasion of this
gives rise to joy, when the soul has been long cast
down with gloomy forebodings of everlasting misery,
and with the apprehension that, for such a sinner,
there was no salvation. As faith does no more than
bring the truth before the mind in its true nature,
every act of faith must, of course, be characterized by
the qualities of the truth thus presented, and by its

96 THOUGHTS ON

adaptation to the circumstances and convictions of
the sinner. All those acts of faith which bring the
extent and spirituality of the law of God fully into
view must be accompanied with painful emotions, on
account of the deep conviction of disconformity to
that perfect rule, which cannot but be experienced,
when that object is before the mind. But all those
invitations, promises, and declarations which exhibit
a Saviour, and the method of recovery, when truly
believed, under a just apprehension of their nature,
must be accompanied, not only with love, but joy,
and hope, and a free consent to be saved in God's
appointed way ; and when the previous distress and
discouragement have been great, and the views of
gospel truth clear, the joy is overflowing, and as long
as these views are unclouded, peace flows like a river.
But even in the discoveries which faith makes of
Christ, there is a great variety in the extent and
combination of divine truth which comes before the
mind at any one time. Probably no two persons, in
believing, have precisely the same truths in all their
relations, presented to them ; and not only so, but it is
hardly credible, that the same believer, in his various
contemplations of divine truth, takes in exactly the
same field of view at different times. Hence it ap-
pears, that the whole power of faith is derived from
the importance, excellence, amiableness, and suitable-
ness of the truths believed. And when faith is "im-
puted for righteousness," it is not the simple act of
faith which forms a righteousness. If any exercise
of the renewed mind could constitute a righteousness,
it would be love — which according to its strength, is
"the fulfilling of the law ;" but when the soul by faith
is fully persuaded that Christ is the end of the law
for righteousness, this righteousness of the Surety,
when received by faith, is imputed ; and by this alone,
which is perfect, can God be just in justifying the
ungodly. " Faith thus receiving and resting on Christ
and his righteousness, is the alone instrument of justi-
fication; yet is not alone in the person justified, but
is ever accompanied with all other saving graces,

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 97

and is no dead faith : but worketh by love." " By
this faith, a Christian believeth to be true, whatsoever
is revealed in the word, for the authority of God him-
self speaking therein ; and acteth differently, upon that
which each particular passage thereof containeth ;
yielding obedience to the commands, trembling at the
threatenings, and embracing the promises of God for
this life, and that which is to come. But the princi-
pal acts of faith are, accepting and resting upon Christ
alone for justification, sanctification, and eternal life,
by virtue of the covenant of grace." This quotation,
taken from a formulary, known to many of my read-
ers, contains as just and comprehensive a view of the
nature of saving faith as could be given in words.

But another reason why so many divine acts are
attributed to faith is, because other exercises are in-
cluded in the description of faith, which though they
always accompany it, ought not to be confounded
with it. It was, two hundred years ago, a question
much agitated among the divines of Holland, whether
love or charity entered into the essence of faith ? And
In our own country, faith and love have not been
kept distinct. A very prevalent system of theology
makes the essence of faith to be love. Much evil
arises from confounding what are so clearly distin-
guished in the word of God. If faith and love were
identical, how could it be said that "faith works by
love ?" The apostle Paul speaks of faith, hope, and
charity, or love, as so distinct, that, although they are
all necessary, they may be compared, as to excel-
lency— "The greatest of these is charity." The cele-
brated Witsius, in his " Economy of the Covenants/'
in describing faith, among the various acts which he
attributes to this divine principle, reckons "love of
the truth," and " hungering and thirsting after Christ."
Now, it is an abuse of language to say that faith loves
or desires; faith works by love, and excites hungering
and thirsting desires after Christ. But, it may be asked,
if these graces are inseparably connected, why be so
solicitous to distinguish them? First, because in so
doing, we follow the sacred writers; secondly, be-

9

98 THOUGHTS ON

cause it has a bad effect to use a Scriptural word to
express what it was never designed to express ; and,
thirdly, because of the special office of faith in a sin-
ner's justification; in which neither love, nor any
other grace has any part, although they are the effects
of faith. When love is confounded with a justifying
faith, it is very easy to slide into the opinion that as
love is the substance of evangelical obedience, when
we are said to be justified by faith, the meaning is,
that we are justified by our own obedience. And
accordingly, in a certain system of divinity, valued
by many, in this country, the matter is thus stated :
faith is considered a comprehensive term for all
evangelical obedience. The next step is — and it has
already been taken by some — that our obedience is
meritorious, and when its defects are purged by aton-
ing blood, it is sufficient to procure for us a title to
eternal life. Thus have some, boasting of the name
of Protestants, worked around, until they have fallen
upon one of the most offensive tenets of Popery. But,
it would be difficult to bring a true penitent to enter-
tain the opinion, that his own works were meritori-
ous, or could, in the least, recommend him to God.
The whole of God's dealings with the souls of his
own people, effectually dispel from their minds every
feeling of this kind. The very idea of claiming merit
is most abhorrent to their feelings.

But while it is of importance to distinguish faith
from every other grace, yet it is necessary to insist
on the fact, that that faith, which does not produce
love and other holy affections, is not a genuine faith.
In the apostles' days, a set of libertines arose, who
boasted of their faith, but they performed no good
works to evince the truth of their faith. Against
such the apostle James writes, and proves that such
a faith was no better than that of devils, and would
justify no man ; that the faith of Abraham and other
believers, which did justify, was not a dead faith, but
living; not a barren faith, but productive of good
works, and proved itself to be genuine by the acts
of duty which it induced the believer to perform.

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 99

While then faith stands foremost in the order of gra-
cious exercises, because it is necessary to the exist-
ence of every other, love may be said to be the cen-
tre, around which all the virtues of the Christian re-
volve, and from which they derive their nature.
Love, of some kind, is familiar to the experience of
all persons ; and all love is attended with some plea-
sure in its exercise ; but it varies on account of the
difference of the objects of affection. Divine love is
itself a delightful and soul-satisfying exercise. The
soul which has tasted the goodness of God, is con-
vinced, that nothing more is necessary to complete
felicity, than the perfection of love. This supposes,
however, that our love to God is ever accompanied
with some sense of his love to us. Love, unless reci-
procated, would not fill up the cup of human happi-
ness. But to love, and be beloved, this is heaven.
And " we love Him because he first loved us." In
the first exercises of a renewed mind, love to God and
love to man are both brought into action; but often the
prospect of deliverance from eternal misery which
threatened, may absorb the attention. It is indeed a
marvellous deliverance, to be snatched from the verge
of hell, and assured of everlasting life; what a tumult
of feeling must it create? But notwithstanding this,
it frequently happens, that in the first discoveries of
the plan of salvation, the soul loses sight of its own
interest, and is completely occupied in contemplating
and admiring the wisdom, love, and justice of God,
as exhibited in the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Indeed, the believer, when these spiritual discoveries
are afforded, thinks nothing of the nature of those acts
which he is exercising ; and it may not be till long
afterwards, that he recognizes these outgoings of soul
to be true love to the Saviour.

There are two affections, distinct from each other in
their objects, which are included under the term love;
the one terminates on the goodness or moral excel-
lence of its object, and varies according to the particu-
lar view, at any time enjoyed, of the divine attributes.
This comprehends all pious affections and emotions

100 THOUGHTS ON

arising from the contemplation of the perfections of
God; and some of them, such as reverence and humi-
lity, would not fall under the name of love, when
taken in a strict sense ; but when used as a general
term for our whole obedience, it must comprehend
them all. This may, for convenience, be called the
love of complacency, in which the rational soul de-
lights in the character of God as revealed in his word.
The other affection, called love, has not the character
of the person beloved for its object, but his happiness.
It may be intensely exercised towards those in whose
moral qualities there can be no complacency, and is
called the love of benevolence. God's love to sin-
ners is of this kind ; and this is the kind of love which
Christians are bound to exercise to all men in the
world, even to those that hate and persecute them.
Though the love of benevolence may exist without
the love of complacency, yet the converse cannot be
asserted. No one ever felt love to the character of
another without desiring his happiness. Before con-
version, the soul is sordidly selfish, but no sooner does
this change take place, than the heart begins to be
enlarged with an expansive benevolence. The whole
world is embraced in its charity. "Good will to
man" is a remarkable characteristic of the "new
creature f and this intense desire for the salvation of
our fellow men, and ardent wish that they may all
become interested in that Saviour, whom we have
found to be so precious, is the true source of the mis-
sionary spirit, and is the foundation, often, of labo-
rious and long continued exertions to prepare for the
holy ministry; and prompts and inclines delicate fe-
males to consent to leave all the endearments of home,
for arduous labour in a foreign, and sometimes a
savage land.

But, however lively the affection of love in the ex-
ercises of the real Christian, he never can lose sight of
his own unworthiness. Indeed, the brighter his dis-
coveries of the divine glory, and the stronger his love,
the deeper are his views of the turpitude of sin. The
more he is elevated in affection and assured hope, the

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 101

deeper is he depressed in humility and self-abasement.
His penitential feelings, from the nature of the case,
keep pace with his love and joy; and when his tears
flow in copious showers, he would be at a loss to tell,
whether he was weeping for joy or for sorrow. He
might say, for both ; for in these pious exercises, these
opposite emotions sweetly mingle their streams ; and
so delightful is this mingling of affections naturally
opposite, that the person could hardly be persuaded,
that the sweet would be as agreeable without, as with,
the bitter. One hour spent under the cross, while the
soul is thus elevated, thus abased — thus joyful, and
thus sorrowful — is better than a thousand of earthly
delights. Observe, Bunyan does not make the burden
of Christian fall off instantly on his entering in at the
strait gate; but when, as he travelled, he came in
sight of the cross. Then, in a moment, those cords
which had bound it to his back, and which none could
loose, were burst asunder, and his burden fell off, and
never was fastened on him again ; although he lay so
long in the prison of Giant Despair. The feelings of
a renewed heart, are never afterwards the same as
under legal conviction. There are scenes, in the ex-
perience of the lively Christian, of which the wise
men of the world never dream ; and which, if they
were told of them, they would not believe; and
these things, while they are hidden from the wise and
prudent, are revealed unto babes. The secret of the
Lord is with them that fear him. The soul, which
has thus returned from its wanderings to the Bishop
and Shepherd, feels under the strongest obligations to
live for God — to deny itself — to forsake the world —
to do any thing — be any thing — or suffer any thing,
which may be for the honour of its divine Master.
Hence a new life commences — a new spirit is mani-
fested— and the new man, maugre all his remaining
ignorance and imperfection, gives lucid evidence to all
who carefully observe him, that he has been with
Jesus, and has been baptized with the Holy Ghost ;
and, the more frequently these views and exercises
are reiterated, the more spiritual and heavenly is his

9*

102 THOUGHTS ON

conversation. This is a light which cannot be hid,
and which ought to shine more and more unto the
perfect day. Hear then the exhortation of the apos-
tle Jude, " But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on
your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost, keep
yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy
of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life."

CHAPTER VII.

Considerations on dreams, visions, &c. — Remarkable conversion of a blind
infidel from hearing the Bible read.

There are many professors of religion in our coun-
try, who, if they should peruse this work would ima-
gine a great defect in the account given of a sinner's
conversion, because nothing has been said about
dreams and visions, or voices and lights, of a super-
natural kind. During the various religious excite-
ments which extended over the Southern States, un-
der the preaching of different denominations, there
was mingled with the good influence by which sin-
ners were converted and reformed, no small degree
of enthusiasm, which led the people to seek and ex-
pect extraordinary revelations, which were supposed
to be granted in dreams or visions. Indeed, at one
time, the leaders in a very general excitement, which
occurred in Virginia, about the commencement of the
Revolutionary war, were impressed with the idea,
that they possessed precisely the same gifts and
powers which had been bestowed upon the apostles ;
and this enthusiastic idea would have spread widely,
if they had not failed, in some private attempts, to
work miracles. But the opinion, that certain persons
had an extraordinary call from God to preach, and
that they needed neither learning nor study, to enable
them to preach the gospel, continued to prevail for a
long time ; and this species of enthusiasm is not en-
tirely passed away even to this day. Such preachers

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 103

were much in the habit of declaiming in every ser-
mon, against letter-learned and college-bred ministers,
and they seldom failed to inform their hearers, that
they had selected the subject of discourse, after enter-
ing the pulpit ; and some of them even gloried that
they had never learned to read, as they believed, that
all learning interfered with the inspiration of the
Spirit, which they were confident that they possessed.
While this notion of an extraordinary call and imme-
diate inspiration was common, it is not surprising
that the people should have entertained wild opinions
respecting the nature of conversion. As it was cus-
tomary to give the narratives of religious experience
in public, not only in the presence of the church, but
of a promiscuous assembly, there was a strong temp-
tation to tell an extraordinary story ; and the more
miraculous it was, the higher evidence it was sup-
posed to afford of being the work of God ; concern-
ing the genuineness of which the subject never ex-
pressed a doubt. Seldom was a narrative of experience
heard, which did not contain something supernatural ;
such as a remarkable prophetic dream; an open vi-
sion ; a sudden and brilliant light shining around,
as in the case of Paul ; or an audible voice, calling
them by name, or uttering some text of Scripture,
or some other encouraging words. Sometimes, how-
ever, the cause of experimental religion was sadly
dishonoured by the ludicrous stories of poor ignorant
people — especially the unlettered slaves ; for this
religious concern seized upon them with mighty force,
and many of them, I doubt not, were savingly con-
verted.

The philosophy of dreams is very little understood :
and it is not our purpose to entertain or perplex the
reader with any theories on the subject. Dreams have
by some been divided into natural, divine, and dia-
bolical. The wise man says, " A dream cometh
through the multitude of business." Most dreams
are undoubtedly the effect of the previous state of
the mind, and of the peculiar circumstances and state
of the body, at the time. Most persons find their

104 THOUGHTS ON

thoughts, in sleep, occupied with those things which
gave them concern when awake ; and every cause
which disorders the stomach or nerves, gives a cha-
racter to our dreams. Most persons have experi-
enced the distress of feverish dreams. But there
are sometimes remarkable dreams, which leave on
the mind the strong impression that they have a
meaning, and portend coming events. And that there
have been dreams of this description, we learn from
the authority of the Bible ; and these prophetic dreams
were not confined to the servants of God, as we learn
from the instances of the butler and baker, in the
prison of Pharaoh, and from the remarkable dream
of Pharaoh himself. All these must have proceeded
from some supernatural influence, as, when interpreted
by Joseph, they clearly predicted future events, of
which the persons dreaming had not the least know-
ledge. So, Nebuchadnezzar's dream contained a sym-
bolical representation of future events of great impor-
tance, which, however, neither he nor his wise men
understood, but which was interpreted by Daniel, by
divine inspiration. Why God so frequently made his
communications to his servants by dreams, is not
easily explained. Perhaps, the mind is better pre-
pared for such revelations, when external objects are
entirely excluded; or, it might have been to obviate
that terror and perturbation to which all men were
subject, when an angel or spirit appeared to them.
Whether God ever now communicates any thing by
dreams is much disputed. Many, no doubt, deceive
themselves, by fancying that their dreams are super-
natural ; and some have been sadly deluded by trust-
ing to dreams ; and certainly people ought not to be
encouraged to look for revelations in dreams. But there
is nothing inconsistent with reason or Scripture, in sup-
posing, that, on some occasions, certain communica-
tions, intended for the warning or safety of the indi-
vidual himself, or of others, may be made in dreams.
To doubt of this, is to run counter to a vast body of
testimony in every age. And if ideas, received in
dreams, produce a salutary effect, in rendering the

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 105

careless serious, or the sorrowful comfortable, in
the view of divine truth, very well; such dreams
may be considered providential, if not divine. But
if any are led by dreams, to pursue a course repug-
nant to the dictates of common sense or the pre-
cepts of Scripture, such dreams may rightly be con-
sidered diabolical. Some persons have supposed
that they experienced a change of mind while asleep.
They have gone to rest with a heart unsubdued and
unconverted, and their first waking thoughts have been
of faith and love. Some have sunk to sleep, worn
down with distress, and in their sleep have received
comfort, as they supposed, from a believing view of
Christ. Such changes are suspicious ; but if they are
proved to be genuine by the future life of the person,
we should admit the possibility of God's giving a new
heart, just as he does to the infant. Or, truth may be
as distinctly impressed on persons' minds in sleep, as
when they are awake. Some persons appear to have
their faculties in more vigorous exercise, in some kinds
of sleep, than when their senses are all exercised.
The Rev. John Fletcher, vicar of Madely, relates that
he had a dream of the judgment day, the effect of
which was a deep and abiding impression of eternal
things on his mind. As the scene was vividly paint-
ed on his imagination, and the representation of truth
was as distinct and coherent as if he had been awake,
it may be gratifying to the reader to have the account
of it, set before him. He had been variously exer-
cised about religion before this. " I was," says he,
"in this situation, when a dream, in which I am
obliged to acknowledge the hand of God, roused me
from my security. On a sudden, the heavens were
darkened, and clouds rolled along in terrific majesty,
and a thundering voice like a trumpet, which pene-
trated to the bowels of the earth, exclaimed, < arise
ye dead and come out of your graves.' Instantly the
earth and the sea gave up the dead which they con-
tained, and the universe was crowded with living
people who appeared to come out of their graves by
millions. But what a difference among them ! Some,

106 THOUGHTS ON

convulsed with despair, endeavoured in vain to hide
themselves in their tombs, and cried to the hills to fall
on them, and the mountains to cover them from the
face of the holy Judge ; while others rose with seraphic
wings above the earth which had been the theatre
of their conflicts and their victory. Serenity was
painted on their countenances, joy sparkled in their
eyes, and dignity was impressed on every feature.
My astonishment and terror were redoubled when I
perceived myself raised up with this innumerable
multitude into the vast, regions of the air, from
whence my affrighted eyes beheld this globe con-
sumed by the flames, the heavens on fire, and the
dissolving elements ready to pass away. But what
did I feel, when I beheld the Son of man coming in
the clouds of heaven, in all the splendour of his glory,
crowned with the charms of his mercy, and surround-
ed with the terrors of his justice; ten thousand thou-
sands went before him, and millions pressed upon his
footsteps. All nature was silent. The wicked were
condemned, and the sentence was pronounced — the
air gave way under the feet of those who surrounded
me, a yawning gulf received them and closed upon
them. At the same time He that sat upon the throne
exclaimed, < Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit
the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of
the world. Happy children of God! I cried, You
are exalted in triumph with your Redeemer, and
my dazzled eyes will soon lose sight of you, in the
blaze of light which surrounds you. Wretch that I
am, what words can express the horrors of my situa-
tion ! A fixed and severe look from the Judge, as he
departed, pierced me to the heart, and my anguish
and confusion were extreme, when a brilliant per-
sonage despatched from the celestial host, thus ad-
dressed me, ' Slothful servant, what dost thou here ?
Dost thou presume to follow the Son of God, whom
thou hast served merely with thy lips, while thy
heart was far from him? Show me the seal of thy
salvation and the earnest of thy redemption. Exam-
ine thy heart, and see if thou canst discover there a

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 107

real love to God, and a living faith in his Son ? Ask
thy conscience what were the motives of thy pretend-
ed good works? Dost thou not see that pride and
self-love were the source of them ? Dost thou not see
that the fear of hell rather than the fear of offending
God, restrained thee from sin ? ' After these words
he paused; and regarding me with a compassionate
air, seemed to await my reply. But conviction and
terror closed my mouth, and he thus resumed his dis-
course, ' Withhold no longer from God the glory
which is due him. Turn to him with all thy heart,
and become a new creature. Watch and pray, was
the command of the Son of God ; but instead of hav-
ing done this by working out thy salvation with fear
and trembling, thou hast slept the sleep of security.
At this very moment dost thou not sleep in that state
of lethargy and spiritual death, from which the word
of God, the exhortations of his servants, and the striv-
ings of his grace have not been sufficient to deliver
thee? Time is swallowed up in eternity. There is
no more place for repentance. Thou hast obstinately
refused to glorify God's mercy in Christ Jesus — go
then, slothful servant and glorify his justice.' Having
uttered these words he disappeared, and, at the same
time, the air gave way under my feet — the abyss began
to open- — dreadful wailings assailed my ears, and a
whirlwind of smoke surrounded me. The agitation
of my mind and body awoke me, the horror of which
nothing can equal, and the mere recollection of which
still makes me tremble. 0 how happy I felt on awak-
ing to find that I was still in the land of mercy, and
the day of salvation ! 0 my God, I cried, grant that
this dream may continually influence my sentiments
and my conduct ! May it prove a powerful stimulus
to excite me to prepare continually for the coming of
my great Master ! "

By this dream Mr. Fletcher was convinced that he
had been indulging vain hopes, and that his mind was
still unrenewed. His conviction of this truth, how-
ever, did not rest entirely, nor chiefly on what had
been told him in his dream, but he now set to work

108 THOUGHTS ON

in sober earnest to examine his religious principles
and motives, by the Scriptures ; and the more he ex-
amined the more fully was he convinced that he was
yet in an unconverted state. From this time he began
with all earnestness to seek for justification through
the blood of Christ ; and never rested until he found
peace with God by a living faith in the truth and pro-
mises of God.

The dream of John Newton, which he had long
before his conversion, when in the harbour of Ve-
nice, is probably known to most of our readers. — « I
thought," says he, " that it was night, and my watch
upon the deck — a person came, to me and brought
me a ring, with an express charge to keep it care-
fully; assuring me that while I preserved that ring,
I should be happy and successful; but if I lost or
parted with it, I must expect nothing but trouble and
misery. I accepted the present and the terms willingly,
not in the least doubting my own care to preserve
it, and highly gratified to have my happiness in my
own keeping. I was engaged in these thoughts,
when a second person came to me and observing the
ring on my finger, he took occasion to ask me some
questions concerning it. I readily told him its virtues,
and his answer expressed a surprise at my weakness,
in expecting such effects from a ring. I think he
reasoned with me some time on the impossibility
of the thing ; and at length urged me in direct terms
to throw it away. At first, I was shocked at the
proposal ; but his insinuations prevailed. I began to
reason and doubt, and at last plucked it off my finger,
and dropped it over the ship's side into the water,
which it had no sooner touched, than I saw, at the
same instant, a terrible fire burst out from a range
of mountains (the Alps) which appeared at some
distance behind the city of Venice. I saw the hills
as distinct as if awake, and that they were all in flames.
I perceived too late my folly ; and my tempter, with
an air of insult, informed me that all the mercy God
had in reserve for me was comprised in the ring
which I had wilfully thrown away. I trembled and

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 109

was in great agony, and stood self-condemned, when
a third person, or the same who gave me the ring,
came to me and demanded the cause of my grief.
He blamed my rashness, and asked me if I thought
I should be wiser, if I had my ring again. I could
hardly answer, but thought it gone beyond control.
He went down under the water, and soon returned,
bringing the ring with him. The moment he came on
board, the flames were extinguished. I approached
to receive the ring, but he refused to restore it, say-
ing ' If you should receive this ring again, you would
soon bring yourself into the same distress. You are
not able to keep it ; but I will preserve it for you,
and whenever it is needful will produce it in your
behalf.' Upon this I awoke in a state of mind not to
be described. I could hardly eat or sleep or transact
necessary business for two or three days, but the im-
pression soon wore off, and in a little time I totally
forgot it, and I think it hardly occurred to my mind till
several years after wards."

I will conclude this unsubstantial discussion by
citing the words of that remarkable young sage of
remote antiquity, Elihu, the reprover of both Job and
his friend, and the sublime defender of God and his dis-
pensations. "For God speaketh once, yea twice, yet
man perceiveth it not. In a dream, in a vision of the
night, when deep sleep falleth upon men, in slumber-
ings upon the bed. Then he openeth the ears of men
and sealeth their instruction."

Sometime in the year 1811, as well as he remem-
bers, the substance of the following narrative was
put into the hands of the writer, by the Rev. Dr. Wil-
liam M. Tennent, of Abington, Pennsylvania, when
this excellent man was on his death-bed, and near
his end. It will be seen that it was drawn up with
a view to publication as soon as the subject of the
memoir, who was then alive in Dr. Tennent's con-
gregation, should be called home to his rest. That
event occurred sometime since ; and in communica-
ting this memoir to the public, the writer considers

10

110 THOUGHTS ON

himself as fulfilling an implied promise, when he ac-
cepted the manuscript.

Having, however, ascertained that Mrs. Ann Snow-
den, of Philadelphia, was the lady at whose house this
gentleman resided, and that she was the person by
whom the Scriptures were read ; and knowing, also,
that she was both pious and intelligent, the writer re-
quested her to put down on paper an exact account of
this pleasing and remarkable event; which she did
with the utmost readiness. From these authentic
sources, the following narrative is derived; and will
be given with very slight verbal alterations, in the very
words of the respected persons named.

Dr. Tennent's memoir is prefaced by the following
words :

" Unfinished memoir of Mr. George Inglis, who has
been a member of the Presbyterian church in Abing-
ton from 1790 till the present time, 1810. It is ex-
pected, that some fit person into whose hand these
sketches of his character may fall, will, after his de-
cease, prepare them for the press ; as it is hoped the
Church of Christ may derive some advantage from
them."

The narrative then proceeds as follows : " Mr.
George Inglis was born in the city of Philadel-
phia, of honourable parentage, and received a lib-
eral education in the university of that city, which
was completed between his 16th and 17th year.
Having served a regular apprenticeship to a mer-
chant, he entered into the mercantile business, and
settled in the island of Jamaica, where he continued
about eleven years. Very early in life he began to
drink in iniquity like water, discovered strong pre-
judices against serious persons and serious things;
associated with the gay, libertine, and dissipated;
never read the Scriptures except so much of them as
enabled him to construe his Greek lessons, whilst in
college. His propensities to sinful indulgences in-
creased with his years, and in the island where he
resided, temptations being increased, and the means
of restraint from vicious courses diminished, he be-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. Ill

came more and more confirmed in the habits of sin,
until at length he was given up to almost every spe-
cies of iniquity. Amidst his open and avowed en-
mity to God and religion, at the close of the afore
mentioned period, an awful tornado fell upon that part
of the island where he resided, by which he lost
the greater part of his property, and was compelled
to return to the continent. This happened during
the revolutionary war. All this made no alteration
in his morals for the better ; but the more he was
corrected, the more hardened he grew ; casting off
the fear of God, and putting to defiance the scourges
of Jehovah. Thus he continued, till some years after-
wards, being in the town of Manchester, Virginia,
without any natural (known) cause, to produce the
effect, he was smitten by the immediate hand of God,
whilst in the possession of good health, with the total
loss of sight within a few days. In this situation his
mind was all distraction. His cry was to man only
for help ; but to God his Maker, who giveth songs in
the night to the afflicted and oppressed, he had not
learned to cry. This lesson, however, he was taught
not long afterwards."

Thus far the narrative has been given in the words
of Dr. Tennent ; it will now be proper to hear Mrs.
Snowden's account of the conversion of this man, as
she was the only human instrument made use of in
bringing him to the knowledge of the truth. It is in
the form of a letter addressed to the writer.

" Rev. and Dear Sir — I will now endeavour to fulfil
the promise made to you some time ago, by giving
such information as is within my recollection, respect-
ing the case of Mr. George Inglis. That gentleman,
a native of Philadelphia, had received a classical
education, and with it every indulgence which a
father's partiality could bestow. Brought up in the
gay world, it is to be feared there was but little atten-
tion paid to his immortal interests. After spending
the time necessary to acquire the knowledge of mer-
cantile affairs, he left the city for the West Indies,
where he was, for a while, successful in business,

112 THOUGHTS ON

and found himself in circumstances to visit England ;
and, while in London, throwing aside every restraint,
he indulged himself in all the amusements and levi-
ties of that gay metropolis. Returning to America,
he engaged in business in the state of Virginia.
After residing some time there, it pleased the Lord
to deprive him of his sight ; an affliction at that time
looked upon by him as insupportable, for he saw not
the hand from whence it came ; but after he was made
sensible that he was a brand snatched from the burn-
ing, often have I heard him bless the chastisement as
that of a tender Father.

" Mr. Inglis had weak eyes from an early age, but
his blindness came on him suddenly. Finding no re-
lief from the physicians where he resided, he left
Virginia for Philadelphia; and upon the application
of his friends, was received, with his servant, into my
house, as a boarder. I found him a man of strong
passions, impatient under sufferings, and not willing
to submit to restraints of any kind. When the phy-
sicians of the city were consulted, they gave his
friends no hope of the recovery of his eyesight ; him
they soothed with the promise of a further considera-
tion of his case. A few weeks after he came to my
house, a gentleman, very much celebrated as an
oculist, came to the city. Mr. Inglis applied to him
for advice. He did not tell him that his was an incura-
ble case, but said that he would see him again. He
bore this very impatiently, observing to me that life
was now becoming an intolerable burden ; but that he
had this consolation, that he had it in his power at
any time to lay it down. It was but to increase the
quantity of opium (he was in the habit of taking
opium) and all his sufferings would be at an end ;
and that, after another visit from the doctor, if he
found there was no hope of his recovering his sight,
he would certainly take that method of putting an
end to his existence. I remonstrated with him on the
impropriety of his behaviour; alleging, that he had
no more right to take away his own life, than he had
to take away the life of his neighbour ; asking him if

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 113

he had considered the consequences of rushing un-
called into the presence of his Maker. His answer
was, that he had considered it well ; and he advocated
his opinion on (his principle, that he was by a mer-
ciful Creator placed on this earth to enjoy the good
things of this life as far as it was in his power hon-
estly to obtain them — that the duties required of him
were, to be as useful to his friends in particular, and
society at large, as his circumstances would admit of —
4hat having lost his sight, he should no longer enjoy
any happiness here, would become a burden to his
friends, and could be of no use in the world. He
alleged, that the purposes for which life was given to
him were now defeated ; of course there would be no
impropriety in laying it down. I made some remarks
on what he had advanced as his sentiments, and to
strengthen what I said, quoted some passages of Scrip-
ture. These he treated in a very light manner — spoke
of the Bible as the work of men, contrived to keep
the vulgar in awe — with many other observations too
common with men of deistical principles. I then in-
quired if he had ever read the Bible ; he frankly
acknowledged that he had not since he left school.
Upon asking him if he had not read the works of those
that were opposed to the Scriptures, he admitted that
he had. If so, I observed, he must have formed his
opinions from the avowed enemies of that sacred book.
Was this a fair method of proceeding ? Was it just ?
That I thought he would not act thus, on any other
occasion. This book you acknowledge you have not
read since you were a boy. All that you know about
it, you have from the enemies of the Christian religion.
Taking these things into consideration, I hope you will
no more speak against the Bible, as it is a book that
you have never read since you were capable of form-
ing a judgment of its contents. He apologized for
what he had said, in a handsome manner, acknow-
ledged that he was wrong in speaking as he had done,
and expressed a wish to have it read to him. This I
declined, and gave my reasons for so doing, which
were, that a man so prejudiced, as he appeared to be,

10*

114 THOUGHTS ON

was not likely to profit by the reading of the Bible ;
that he would most probably cavil at, and perhaps
ridicule it ; in so doing, he would wound my feelings
without benefitting himself; for I considered it as the
word of God, and my hopes of eternal salvation rest-
ed on the truths contained in it. He then assured me
on the word of a gentleman, that if I would read to
him, whatever his opinions might be, he would care-
fully avoid saying any thing that might have a ten-
dency to wound my feelings, or give offence, in the
smallest degree. There was an earnestness in his man-
ner of addressing me which satisfied my mind, that he
was sincerely desirous to have the Scriptures read to
him ; and the next day was fixed upon for that pur-
pose. It appeared to me that he waited impatiently
for the arrival of the appointed hour, for, no sooner
did the time come, than he sent for me. Before we
began, I observed to him, that as in the New Testament
he would find the fulfilment of the promises of the
Saviour, I would point out those promises as they
should occur in reading the Old Testament; which
it would be necessary for him to take notice of as we
proceeded. Beginning then with the first chapter of
Genesis, before we had gone through the chapter, he
stopped me to express his admiration of the language.
< It was sublime beyond any thing he had ever read.5
While I was reading, he was all attention ; and when
the time arrived when I was under the necessity of
leaving off, it was with regret that he observed that I
had finished ; putting me in mind, at the same time,
of my promise to attend to him, on the next day. I
think it was on the second day of my reading to him,
that he cried out, 'What a wretch am I to have
spoken against such a book ! a book that I knew no-
thing of, having never given it an attentive perusal/
I went on for a few days, reading to him according
to the plan laid down, which was one hour every
day ; when the distress of his mind greatly increased.
There was now no more said about a second visit to
the doctor — no complaints — no murmurings, on ac-
count of the loss of sight. He now saw the hand of

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 115

God in the dispensation of his providence, and would
acknowledge that it was less, far less, than he de-
served. My family duties preventing me from being
with him as much as I wished, I now called in the
aid of some of my religious friends, among whom
was Mr. Joseph Eastburn, to converse with him and
to assist ill reading to him. Several religious books
were now occasionally read to him, among which
were Boston's Fourfold State, Newton's Works, Her-
vey's Dialogues, &c. The descriptive parts of the last
mentioned author, were at his request passed over,
except where it more fully served to explain the doc-
trines of free grace — a subject to him of the deepest
interest. Though totally deprived of sight, and unac-
customed to go out, he now neglected no opportunity
of hearing the word of God; attending sermons on
Sabbaths, and weekly societies as often as was in his
power. As might be expected, his natural disposition,
sometimes getting the better of the good resolutions
he had formed, would betray him into a fretfulness
that was troublesome to his friends, and occasioned
much uneasiness to himself. Oil such occasions I
have heard him lament deeply over his sinful nature,
accusing himself of ingratitude to that God who had
mercifully stopped him in his career of vice, by depriv-
ing him of the light of day, and enlightening his dark-
ened mind, and had enabled him to understand the
truths contained in his blessed word. I do not recol-
lect how long he staid with me, but it was something
less than a year, when his friends thought it would be
best to remove him to the country ; and boarding was
obtained for him in the neighbourhood of the Rev. Dr.
Tennent, of Abington."

Dr. Tennent, in the memoir already quoted, after
mentioning some circumstances which have been
given in detail in a former page, goes on to say, "It
pleased God, by these means to bring him to very
serious and deep impressions of his moral character,
and to constrain him, after some time, to attempt to
pray. This [change] was effected in the gentleness,
kindness, and tenderness of infinite mercy, and with-

116 THOUGHTS ON

out those horrors which often precede the conversion
of high-handed and daring sinners. In his case, all
was mercy, without extraordinary terror. He was
embraced in the arms of redeeming love, and deli-
vered from the .fiery pit without beholding its awful
flames. In his first attempt to supplicate the Deity,
he was principally affected with a sense of the baseness
of his conduct, and vile ingratitude for the mercies be-
stowed, and this exercise was accompanied with an
involuntary flow of tears, and a desire to call God his
Father, and afterwards to mention the blessed name of
Jesus, the Saviour. Probably, this was the beginning of
his new birth, and the hour of his conversion; which was
not long afterwards confirmed by a remarkable vision
of two books, with a glorious light shining in the midst
of them, as he was lying in his bed ; which he appre-
hended to be the Old and New Testaments of the
living God, presenting to, and impressing on his mind
this sacred declaration, but without a voice, " This is
the way," and filling his soul at the same time, with
inexpressible joy."

What is here related, is no doubt strictly true, but
there is no propriety in calling it " a vision," since it
can easily be accounted for by a vivid impression on
the imagination. A vision is something supernatural
seen with the bodily eyes ; but this man was totally
blind.; the objects so clearly discerned must then have
been from impressions on the imagination. But in say-
ing this, it is not intended to deny that the cause was
*he Spirit of God. This divine Agent can, and does
produce vivid impressions on the imagination, which
have so much the appearance of external realities, that
many are persuaded that they do see and hear what
takes place only in their own minds.

" In the year 1790, Mr. Inglis was removed to
Abington, and became a boarder in the house of the
Rev. William M. Tennent, and soon afterwards was
admitted to the communion of the church, in that
place, with which he hath walked steadfastly in the
faith ever since ; exemplifying in a striking and high
degree the power of God's grace in the 'new creation.'

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 117

From the beginning of his turn to God, there was
abundant proof that ' old things had passed away, and
that all things had become new.' Before, a blas-
phemer, but now a worshipper of the true God.
Before, a drunkard, and a Sabbath-breaker, unclean,
a ridiculer of holy things, and indulging habitually in
all ungodline§s and wickedness — led captive by the
prince of the power of the air, who ruleth in the
children of disobedience, but now, freed from his
bonds and made by sovereign grace to rejoice in the
liberty of the gospel. Before, a hater of good men
and good things, but now a lover of both. He was
made to hunger and thirst after righteousness — after
the bread of life — after the knowledge of His will; and
seemed only to be happy when he had a glimpse of
his glory. For more than a year after his conversion,
he could not bear to hear any other book read to
him than the Holy Scriptures; and the most practical
authors on religion. He shunned all political conver-
sation, the reading of newspapers, and whatever might
divert his thoughts from holy meditations and a further
knowledge of his Redeemer.

"Whilst residing in his first permanent lodgings
in the country, it may not be improper to mention a
second remarkable vision which he had. Walking in
the garden one day, as he usually did for sacred me-
ditation, he was suddenly arrested and overcome with
a most affecting view of his Saviour, as suspended
on the cross, and bearing his very sins. In this
vision of redeeming love he was so lost that he knew
not where he was — overwhelmed with unutterable
joy, and the most affecting gratitude for th^iischarge
of the immense debt which he owed to the justice of
a holy God. The impressions then made are still kept
in strong remembrance. How long he was in this
state he knew not, but was finally conducted to the
house, after having called for a guide — full of joy and
gladness : a second remarkable proof of his interest in
gospel redemption."

We will simply repeat our objection to the use of
the word "vision" to represent what was nothing

118 • THOUGHTS ON

more than a strong, believing view of the scene of the
crucifixion, accompanied, no doubt, with a vivid ima-
gination of the bleeding, dying Saviour, suffering for" his
sins.

" The writer will only add, that he has frequently,
within the term of twenty years, heard Mr. Inglis
say, he would not, if it had been within the power of
a wish, have had his natural sight restored, having
found his eyes such an avenue to sin. His whole
conduct since his conversion has corresponded with
his profession as a Christian disciple. He has, in the
view of his brethren where he resides, made a visible
growth in grace, even in the knowledge of our Lord
and Saviour Jesus Christ. He has, with others
travelling to the same blessed country, been on the
mount and in the valley — an humble, meek, patient,
self-denying Christian, rejoicing in the hopes of a
better country— weeping on account of his own un-
fruitfulness — looking for strength to vanquish his
enemies, and hoping for victory by the merits of the
great Redeemer. Hitherto steadfast, may he hold
fast unto the end ! and may many such be added unto
the Lord ! Blessed be God for the gift of his Son,
for the revelation of his incomprehensible love and
grace, and for the crown of glory which is laid up for
all who are looking and longing for his second ap-
pearance !V

The foregoing account was written about thirty
years ago, and Mr. Inglis, who was then in years, did
not depart this life until two or three years since.
As the Rev. Robert Steel succeeded Dr. Tennent, as
pastor cff#he Presbyterian church at Abington, I re-
quested him to give me notice of the old gentleman's
death, with an account of his state of mind in his latter
days. This he did, and I regret that I have mislaid
his letter, so that I cannot at present put my hands on
it. But I confess that I was much disappointed in
not finding something more memorable in the closing
scene of one who had been so manifestly snatched
" as a brand from the burning." As well as I recol-
lect, Mr. Steel represents that the spirituality and ar-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 119

dour of Mr. Inglis's religion considerably declined in
his later years; that he became somewhat worldly
minded, and appeared to be too much concerned about
his little property ; and that he had nothing remarkable
in the exercises of his mind, while on his death-bed :
but no one, I believe, ever doubted the reality of the
change which he had experienced ; neither was he
ever left to do any thing to bring discredit on the pro-
fession which he had made.

One reflection which occurred to me on reading Mr.
Steel's letter was, that it is not desirable for a Christian
to live to be very old ; especially when all active ser-
vice in the cause of Christ is precluded. Old age is a
peculiarly unfavourable season for growth in grace.
Manjr of the natural auxiliaries to piety are then re-
moved ; and at the same time, many infirmities cluster
around us ; so that a declension in religion is not un-
common in the protracted years of the aged.

Another solemn reflection was, that a man is never
too old nor too decrepit to be covetous. Covetousness
is peculiarly the vice of the aged, and when indulged,
strikes its roots deeper, the older we grow. What
Christ says to all, may with emphasis be addressed to
the aged, " Take heed, and beware of covetousness."
The writer remembers to have seen and conversed with
the old gentleman in the church at Abington, soon
after Dr. Tennent's death. At that time he was always
in his place in the house of God, and attracted atten-
tion by his venerable and solemn appearance. It was
agreed that his taste and judgment in regard to preach-
ing were uncommonly sound and good ; but nothing
would pass with him in which Christ was not made
conspicuous. Purely evangelical preaching was that
in which he delighted ; and at that period, his conver-
sation was in a strain of warm and pious feeling.

My closing remark is, that we should despair of the
conversion of no one ; and we should use all our
efforts to prevail on skeptical men to read the Bible.
The Bible has converted more infidels than all the
books of "evidences" which exist.

120 THOUGHTS ON

CHAPTER VIII.

Religious Conversation. — Stress laid by some on the knowledge of the time
and place of Conversion. — Religious experience of Halyburton.

It is often a question among serious people, whether
every person, who is a real Christian, knows not only
that he is such, but the time and place of his conver-
sion. This subject has already been partially discussed
in these essays, but demands a more particular and
extended consideration.

It is well known to all, that the Christian denomina-
tions, which exist in this country, differ from one
another in their views of various doctrines and rites
of religion ; but the fact is not so well known, that
the religious experience of the individuals of the seve-
ral denominations is as various as their doctrines and
external forms of worship. To those who view these
things at a distance, and superficially, all religious
people appear alike ; and many, when they hear of a
number converted, take it for granted that they have
all passed through the same train of exercises, to
whatever sect they belong. There are some serious
people, well indoctrinated in the Scriptures,4 who,
while they hold a sound theory respecting the nature
of regeneration, never speak of their own religious
exercises ; believing that such exposures are not for
edification, as they tend to foster spiritual pride and
vain glory, and afford a temptation to hypocrisy,
which is commonly too strong for the deceitful heart.
Among such professors, you hear nothing of convic-
tion and conversion ; and when any of this class fall
into a distressing case of conscience which urges them
to seek spiritual counsel, they always propose the
case in the third person. They will talk to you by
the hour and the day, about the doctrines of religion,

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 121

and show that they are more conversant with their
Bibles, than many who talk much of their religious
feelings. There are two objections to this practice.
The first is, that it has the effect of keeping out of
view the necessity of a change of heart. The second
is, that it is a neglect of one effectual means of grace.
Religious conversation, in which Christians freely tell
of the dealings of God with their own souls, has been
often a powerful means of quickening the sluggish
soul, and communicating comfort. It is in many
cases, a great consolation to the desponding believer,
to know that his case is not entirely singular ; and if
a traveller can meet with one who has been over the
difficult parts of the road before him, he may surely
derive from his experience some salutary counsel and
warning. The Scriptures are favourable to such
communications. "Come and hear," says David, "all
ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath
done for my soul." " Then they that feared the Lord
spake often one to another, and the Lord hearkened
and heard it, and a book of remembrance was writ-
ten before him for them that feared the Lord, and
that thought upon his name." Paul seldom makes a
speech or writes a letter, in which he does not freely
speak of his own religious joys and sorrows, hopes
and fears. There is, no doubt, an abuse of this means
of grace, as of others ; but this is no argument against
its legitimate use, but only teaches that prudence
should govern such religious intercourse. The oppo-
site extreme is not uncommon in some denominations ;
as where professors are publicly called upon, and
that periodically, for their experience ; or where,
when professors are met, it is agreed that every one,
in turn, shall give a narrative of his or her experience,
in religion. Such practices are not for edification.
There are, however, cases in which it may be expe-
dient— it may be delightful — for a few select friends
to enter into a full detail of the dealings of God with
their souls, respectively. The writer, in another
place, published an account of such a conference in
Holland, which he received from the late Rev. Dr.

11

122 THOUGHTS ON

Livingston, of New Brunswick. A company of pious
friends having met for religious conversation, the sub-
ject which came up was the striking similarity of the
experience of God's people in all ages, and in all
countries; when some one observed, that there were
present, four persons from the four quarters of the
world, respectively, and who had embraced religion
in their native country. One was from the Dutch set-
tlements in the East Indies, a second from the Cape
of Good Hope, the third a young nobleman of Hol-
land, and the fourth Dr. Livingston himself, from the
United States of America. It was then proposed as
an illustration of the subject of conversation, that each
should give a narrative of his Christian experience.
The company in attendance expressed the highest
gratification and were no doubt greatly edified. It
is much to be lamented, that many persons who are
fond of religious conversation, deal so much in cant
phrases, and assume an air so affected and sanctimo-
nious. This is the thing which disgusts grave and
intelligent Christians; and often occasions the wicked
to ridicule or blaspheme. "Let not your good be
evil spoken of." Be not public nor indiscriminate in
your communications of this kind. "Take heed that
you cast not your pearls before swine, lest they tram-
ple them under their feet, and then turn again and
rend you."

It is a fact, that what passes for conversion in one
sect, will be condemned as altogether insufficient in
another. A few years since there was, what was
called a great revival, in a Presbyterian congregation,
in New Jersey. The Presiding Elder of the Metho-
dist Society, for that district, having classes of his
church mingled with the people of that congregation,
so that he had the opportunity of conversing with a
number of the subjects of this work, gave it as his
opinion, to a person who communicated the fact to
me, that none with whom he spoke, were converted,
for he did not meet with one who would say, that he
knew his sins were pardoned. On the other hand,
many of the conversions which take place at camp

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 123

meetings, and other meetings, where there is much
excitement, though the subjects do profess to know-
that their sins are pardoned, are not believed to be
cases of sound conversion by Presbyterians ; and
they are confirmed in this opinion, often, by the
transitory nature of the reformation produced. We
have known instances of persons professing conver-
sion at a camp-meeting, and filling the camp with
their rejoicing, who relapsed into their old habits of
sin, before reaching their own dwellings. In these
strong excitements of the animal sensibilities, there is
great danger of deception. When feelings of distress
are wound up to a very high pitch, there often occurs
a natural re-action in the nervous system, by which
the bodily sensations are suddenly changed, and this,
attended with some text of Scripture impressed on the
mind, leads the person to believe, that he was in that
moment converted, when in reality no permanent
change has been effected. It is one thing to be per-
suaded of the truth of the gospel, and quite another
to be certain that I have believed, and that my sins
are pardoned. Mr. Wesley was for several years in
the ministry, and a missionary to America before he
had this joyful sense of the forgiveness of sins, and he
seems to intimate, that until this time he was an un-
converted man ; and most of his followers make this
joyful sense of pardoned sin, the principal evidence
of conversion, and one which all must experience.
Most serious, intelligent readers, however, will be of
opinion, that Mr. Wesley was as humble and sincere
a penitent, before this joyful experience, as after-
wards ; and that it is a dangerous principle to make a
man's opinion of his own state, the criterion by which
to judge of its safety. Certainly, we should greatly
prefer to stand in the place of some broken-hearted,
contrite ones, who can scarcely be induced to enter-
tain a hope respecting their acceptance, to that of
many who boast that they never feel a doubt of their
own safety. Men will not be judged in the last day
by the opinion which they had of themselves. For
this confidence, it would seem, never forsakes some

124 THOUGHTS ON

to the last, who nevertheless will be cast into outer
darkness. " Not every one that saith unto me Lord,
Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven, but he
that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Many will say unto me in that day, Lord, Lord, have
we not prophesied in thy name, and in thy name have
cast out devils, and in thy name done many wonder-
ful works ? And then will I profess unto them, I
never knew you, depart from me ye workers of ini-
quity." In early life, the writer knew some high
professors of his own denomination, who could tell
the day and hour when God had mercy on them.
One of these, a fair spoken, plausible man, who had
spent the former part of his life in pleasure and dissipa-
tion, gave such an account of his conversion as was
adapted to produce envy and discouragement in pro-
fessors who had been less favoured; and not only
could designate the month and day of the month, but
the hour of the day, when he obtained reconciliation
with God. No one doubted of his piety — but mark
the event. This high professor, a few years after-
wards, was excommunicated from the church, for
manifest perjury ! Another, whose experience was
remarkable and his conversion sudden, became a
preacher, then a fanatic — and finally an infidel. This
man told me, that though often in great spiritual dis-
tress, he never doubted of the goodness of his state.
They who believe that a man may be a saint to-day
and a devil to-morrow, not in appearance only, but
in reality, easily account for these apostasies, but we
are inclined to hold fast by what the beloved disciple
says about such, in his time. " They went out from
us, but they were not of us, for if they had been of
us they would no doubt have continued with us ; but
they went out, that they might be made manifest that
they were not all of us."

Few men in later times appear to have arisen to
greater eminence in piety than Henry Marty n, the
missionary. The strength of the principle of holi-
ness, in his case, was manifested in his habitual spiri-
tuality of mind, and constant exercise of self-de-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 125

nial; yet, as far as is related, his incipient exercises
of religion were by no means strongly marked, but seem
to have been rather obscure and feeble. The same
is the fact respecting those two distinguished men of
God, Philip and Matthew Henry, the father and the
son. The early exercises of these men were not in
any respect remarkable. Indeed, they both became
pious when very young; and we rarely get a very
distinct and accurate account of the commencement
of piety in early life. But no one, who is acquainted
with the lives of these eminent ministers, will deny
that they grew up to an uncommon degree of piety,
which in the experience of both, though characterized
by genuine humility, was free from any mixture of
gloom or austerity. True religion can rarely be found
exhibiting so cheerful a mien and so amiable an as-
pect, and yet, with these men every thing became a
part of their religion ; to this one object their whole
lives were devoted. I have derived much satisfaction,
and I hope, profit, from the account which Halyburton
gives of his religious experience ; especially, because
the account was given when the writer was advanced
in years, and when his judgment was fully matured.
Many youthful narratives of pious exercises are very
fervent, but they are frothy, and marked with that
kind of ignorance and self-confidence which arise from
inexperience. Halyburton is an example of a person
brought up under religious discipline and instruction,
and under constant restraint, whose convictions of sin
were nevertheless exceedingly pungent and awful.
His conversion too was sudden, and his first exercises
of faith clear and strong. " I cannot," says he, " be
very positive about the day or the hour of this delive-
rance ; nor can I satisfy many other questions about
the way and manner of it. As to these things I may
say with the blind man, < One .thing I know, that
whereas I was blind, now I see.' It was towards the
close of January, or the beginning of February, 1698,
that this seasonable relief came ; and, so far as I can
remember, I was at secret prayer, in very great extre-
mity, not far from despair, when the Lord seasonably

11*

126 THOUGHTS ON

stepped in and gave this merciful turn to affairs.
When I said there was none to save, then < his arm
brought salvation/ God, who commanded the light
to shine out of darkness, < shined into my mind/ to
give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in
the face of Jesus Christ. That which afforded me re-
lief was a discovery of the Lord, as manifested in his
word. He said to me, < thou hast destroyed thyself, but
in me is thy help/ He let me see that there are for-
givenesses with him, that with him is mercy and plen-
teous redemption. He made all his goodness pass
before me, and proclaimed his name, '. The Lord, the
Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and
abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for
thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and
sin;' who will be gracious to whom he will be gra-
cious, and will show mercy to whom he will show
mercy. This was a strange sight to one who before
looked on God as a 'consuming fire' which I could not
see and live. He brought me from Sinai and its thun-
derings, to Mount Zion, and to the Mediator of the
new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling that
cleanseth from all sin, and speaketh better things than
the blood of Abel. He revealed Christ in his glory.
I now with wonder beheld his glory, the glory as of
the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and
truth. And I was made, by this sight, to say, < Thou

art fairer than the sons of men/ And I was

hereby further satisfied, that not only was there for-
giveness of sins and justification by free grace, through
the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God
hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his
blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of
sins that are past, through the forbearance of God —
but I saw moreover, with wonder and delight, how
God by this means might be just even in justifying the
ungodly, who believe in Jesus. How was I ravished
with delight when made to see that the God in whom
a little before I thought there was no help for me, or
any sinner in my case—if indeed there were any such —
notwithstanding his spotless purity, his deep hatred of

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 127

sin, his inflexible justice and righteousness, and his un-
impeachable faithfulness pledged in the threatenings
of the law, might not only pardon, but without preju-
dice to his justice or his other attributes, might be just,

even in justifying the ungodly And the Lord

further opened the gospel-call to me, and let me see
that even to me, was < the word of this salvation sent.'
All this was offered unto me, and I was invited to
come and freely take of the waters of life, and to come

in my distress unto the blessed rest He, to my

great satisfaction, gave me a pleasing discovery of his
design in the whole, that it was, < that no flesh might
glory in his sight/ but that he who glories, should
glory only in the Lord; and that he might manifest
the riches of his grace, and be exalted in showing
mercy, and that we in the end might be saved. The
Lord revealed to my soul the full and suitable provi-
sion, made in this way against the power of sin — that
as there is righteousness in him, so there is strength,
even < everlasting strength' in the Lord Jehovah, to

secure us against all enemies When this strange

discovery was made of a relief, wherein full provisions
were made for all the concerns of God's glory, and my
salvation in subordination thereto, my soul was, by a
sweet and glorious power, carried out to rest in it, as
worthy of God, and every way suitable and satisfying
in my case. ' They that "know thy name will put their
trust in thee/ All these discoveries were conveyed to
me by the Scriptures only. It was not indeed by one
particular promise or testimony of Scripture, but by
the concurring light of a great many, seasonably set
home, and most plainly expressing the truths above
mentioned. The promises and truths of the Bible, in
great abundance and variety, were brought to remem-
brance, and the wonders contained in them, were set
before my eyes in the light of the word. ' He sent

his word and healed me.' But it was not the

Bible alone that conveyed the discovery ; for most of
these passages whereby I was relieved, I had formerly
in my distress, read and thought upon, without find-
ing any relief in them. But now the Lord shincd

128 THOUGHTS ON

into my mind by them. Formerly, I was acquainted
only with the letter, which profits not, but now the
Lord's words were spirit and life, and in his light I
saw light. God opened my eyes to see wonders out
of his law. There was light in his words ; a burning
light by them shone into my mind, not merely some
doctrinal knowledge, but ' the light of the knowledge
of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.' The
light, that I now had, shone from heaven ; it was not
a spark kindled by my own endeavours, but it shone
suddenly about me ; it came by the word of God, a
heavenly means. It opened heaven and discovered
heavenly things, even the glory of God; and it led
me up as it were to heaven. Its whole tendency was
heavenward. It was a true light, giving manifesta-
tions of God, even the one true God, and the one Medi-
ator between God and man ; and giving a true view
of my state with respect to * God. ..... It was a plea-
sant and a sweet light : it had a heavenly satisfaction
in God attending it. It led to a pleasure in the foun-
tain whence it came. It was a distinct and clear light,
not only representing spiritual things, but manifesting
them in their glory. It put all things in their proper
place, in due subordination to God, and gave distinct
views of their genuine tendency. It was a satisfying
light. The soul rested in the discoveries that it made
and was satisfied ; it could not doubt of what it saw,
and that things were as they were represented. It
was a quickening, refreshing and healing light ; when
f the Sun of Righteousness' arose, there was < healing
under his wings.' It was a great light : it made dis-
coveries which were easily distinguished from any
former discoveries it had ever made. And it was a
powerful light ; it dissipated that thick darkness which
had overspread my mind, and made all those frightful
temptations, which had formerly disturbed me, fly
before it. It was composing : not like a sudden flash
of lightning, which fills the soul with fear and amaze-
ment, but it composed and quieted my soul and
put all my faculties, as it were, in their due pos-
ture, and gave me the exercise of them. It destroyed

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 129

not, but improved my former knowledge. Bat, as
the true idea of light is not conveyed by the ear ; so
no words can convey the idea of light to the blind.
And he who has eyes, will need no words to describe
it. It is like the new name that none knows, save he
that has it.

"The first discernible effect of this light was, an
approbation of God's way of saving sinners by Jesus
Christ, to the glory of his grace. And this I take to
be the true Scriptural notion of justifying faith ; for it
not only answers the Scripture descriptions of it, by
receiving, coming, looking, trusting, believing, &c,
but it really gives God that glory which he designed
by ail this contrivance — the glory of his wisdom,
grace, mercy, and truth. Now this discovery of the
Lord's name brought me to trust in him, and glory
only in the Lord. I found my soul fully satisfied in
these discoveries, as pointing out a way of relief,
altogether and in all respects suitable to the need of a
poor, guilty, self-condemned, self-destroyed sinner,
driven from all other reliefs. In this I rested, as in a
way of full peace, comfort, security, and satisfaction,
as providing abundantly for all those ends I desired to
have secured. And this approbation was not merely
for a time ; but ever after in all temptations it discover-
ed itself, by keeping in me a fixed assent and adherence
of mind to this truth, and full persuasion of it, that
God hath granted unto us eternal life, and this life is
in his Son.

" The next remarkable effect of this discovery was,
that it set me right as to my chief end, and made me
look to the glory of God, for which formerly I had no
real concern. Now mine eye was made, in some
measure, single in eyeing the Lord's honour. It mani-
fested itself in frequent desires, that the Lord might
be honoured and glorified, in my life, or by my
death. It kept my soul fixed in the persuasion that it
was every way meet that I should take shame and con-
fusion to myself as what only belonged to me ; and
that the glory of my salvation was only and entirely
the Lord's due.

130 THOUGHTS ON

"A -third discernible effect was, that I was led to
look upon his yoke to be easy and his burden light ;
and to count that his commandments were not grievous,
but 6 right concerning all things.' — This was very con-
trary to my former temper. I now came to a fixed
persuasion that the law was not only just, such as I
could make no reasonable exception against, but holy,
and such as became God ; and good, such as was every
way suited to my true interest and peace, and advan-
tage—which I could never think before. The duties
to which my heart was most averse had now become
agreeable and refreshing.

" A fourth remarkable effect of this discovery was,
the exercise of evangelical repentance, which was
very different, in many respects, from that sorrow
with which I was before acquainted. It differed in
its rise. Sorrow before flowed from the discovery of
sin as it brings on wrath; now it flowed from a sense
of sin as containing wretched unkindness to one,
who was himself astonishingly kind to an unworthy
wretch. I looked on him whom I had pierced, and
did mourn. Sorrow formerly wrought death, alien-
ated my heart from God, and thus dispirited me for
duty, and made me fear hurt from him ; but this sor-
row filled my heart with kindness to God and to his
ways, sweetened my soul, and endeared God to it.
It flowed from a sense of his favour to an unworthy
wretch that deserved none, and was thus a godly sor-
row leading to kindness to God, and a drawing near
him, but with much humble sense of my own unwor-
thiness, like the returning prodigal. The more God
manifested of his kindness, the more still did this feel-
ing increase : when he was pacified, then was I
ashamed and confounded. The sorrow I had before
looked on as a burden : it was nothing but selfish con-
cern for my own safety, and a fear of the righteous
resentment of God. But this sorrow was sweet and
pleasant, as being the exercise of filial gratitude ; and
I took pleasure in the surprising manifestations of
God's favour to one so unworthy, and in acknow-
ledging my own unworthiness. This sorrow was a

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 131

spring of activity, and I was glad to be employed in
the meanest errand that might give opportunity to
evidence how deeply I was grieved for my former
disobedience. It resulted in a return to the way of
life, and to such a course, as upon a review, I did not
repent of, but delighted in, and in which I desired
continually to advance. It wrought carefulness to
avoid sin, anxiety to please God, indignation against
sin, fear of offending God again, vehement desire of
having sin removed, the Lord glorified, and obedience
promoted.

"A fifth discernible effect was, an humble, but
sweet and comfortable hope, and persuasion of my
own salvation, answerable to the clearness of the dis-
covery. When the Lord gave me this view of the
way of salvation, he satisfied me, that it was a way
full of peace and security, the only way which I might
safely venture. Hereby 1 was freed from the dis-
quieting fear that the ground of my trust would fail.
I was satisfied I could not fail, otherwise than by mis-
sing the way. While I held fast and reposed with
satisfaction on what I was convinced was safe, I
could not but be quiet and composed about the result.
This shows how nearly allied faith and assurance are ;
though they are not the same, no wonder the one
should be taken for the other. This discovery, mani-
fested that salvation was in the way of self-denial,
and trust in the Lord alone ; for nothing so soon mar-
red this hope, as the least appearance of self, and
stirring of pride. Whenever the glory of the Lord
appeared and he spake peace, I was filled with
shame, and the deeper this humiliation was, the more
the humble confidence of my safety increased.

" A sixth discernible difference was, with respect
to the ordinances of the Lord's appointment. I was
drawn to follow them as the Lord's institutions, and
his appointed means of our obtaining discoveries of his
beauty. I desired < to behold the beauty of the Lord,
and to inquire in his temple.' I was brought to exer-
cise more liveliness when the Lord discovered him-
self; < my soul then followed hard after him.' When

132 THOUGHTS ON

the Lord enlarged me and caused me to approach to
him and see his glory, he still humbled me, discovered
self, and put me in opposition to it. I was now ac-
quainted, in some measure, with that boldness and
freedom of access, with humble confidence, to God as
on a throne of grace, manifesting himself in Christ.
In a word, I was in some measure, sensible of the
Lord's hiding or manifesting himself, according as I
performed my duty, and of the necessity of the exer-
cise of grace, particularly faith, in all approaches to
God."

Although in the preceding authentic narrative of
religious experience, we have entered more into detail
than usual, yet we are persuaded, that the serious
reader will not think the account too long or too par-
ticular. I have not met with any account of Chris-
tian experience which is so full and satisfactory as
this^ and when it is known to have been written by
a man of sound understanding, and most exemplary
piety, at a late period of life, when his judgment was
matured by much experience, it cannot but furnish a
decisive proof of the reality of experimental religion,
which cannot be gainsaid. In these exercises there
is not a tincture of enthusiasm. Indeed, holy affec-
tions thus produced by the contemplation of truth are
the very opposite of enthusiasm ; which always sub-
stitutes human fancies or impulses for the truths of
God, which it uniformly undervalues. In this case,
we see also, how high the exercises of Scriptural piety
may rise, without degenerating into any extrava-
gance. Many Christians seem not to know or believe
that such spiritual discoveries of the beauty of holi-
ness and the glory of the Lord, are now attainable :
but still there are some, and often those of the hum-
bler class of society, who are privileged with these
spiritual discoveries, and prize them above all price.
The language of such is, " One day in thy courts is
better than a thousand. I would rather be a door-
keeper in the house of God, than dwell in the tents
of sin." " Return unto thy rest, 0 my soul, for the
Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee." It is delight-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 133

ful to trace the effects of God's truth in producing
every holy affection, when it is discerned by the light
of the Holy Spirit. Faith is almost identified with
this view; love flows out sweetly and spontaneously;
evangelical repentance is enkindled ; the soul is clothed
with humility; zeal for God's glory is predominant;
his ordinances are sought with desire, and found to
be channels which freely communicate with the rich
fountain of grace beneath the throne of God. So far
are right views of free grace from leading those who
entertain them to indulge in indolence, or be careless
about holy living, that they impart the *>nly. true cause
of activity and diligence in the work of the Lord. In
the foregoing account, the reader may learn the nature
of true religion more clearly than from many sermons
and long treatises ; but the humble, doubting Christian
must not make the measure of grace which this favour-
ed saint enjoyed, the standard by which to judge of the
reality of his own religious experience. The same
light may shine with vastly different degrees of clear-
ness, from the meridian blaze down to the faint cre-
puscular dawn, but the rays come from the same source;
and that which is now but just discernible in the midst
of shades of departing night, will go on to increase,
until it shines more and more to the perfect day. Let
not the extraordinary clearness and distinctness dis-
courage those who are sincerely desirous to see " the
beauty of the Lord," but let them rather take fresh
courage in a pursuit, which from this example, they
find may be crowned with glorious success. " They
that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength ;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall
run and not be weary, and they shall walk and not
faint."

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134 THOUGHTS ON

CHAPTER IX.

Christian experience of R C .—Narrative of Sir Richard Hill's

experience.

The following extracts, from a narrative of the Chris-
tian experience of R C , will serve to illustrate

some points which have heretofore been treated ; par-
ticularly the gradual manner in which some persons
are brought to the knowledge of the truth; and the
extreme difficulty of ascertaining, in many cases, where
common grace ends and special grace commences.

"I grew up," says the narrator, "to manhood with
very little thought of religion, and without expe-
riencing any serious impressions, except the alarm
occasionally produced by the death of a companion,
or relative. Whilst I habitually cherished a great
dislike to strict religion, which frowned upon a life of
pleasure and amusement, I entertained a strong preju-
dice in favour of Christianity in general, and that
particular denomination to which my parents and
ancestors belonged. I call this a prejudice, for I
knew nothing of the evidences of the truth of Chris-
tianity, and had only a very vague and confused
notion of what the Scriptures contained ; except that,
when a child, I had read, frequently, many portions .
of the historical parts of the Bible. In this state of
mind, I was exposed to the common objections of
infidels ; which arose from reading history, and find-
ing that all nations had their respective religions, in
which they believed as firmly as we did in ours; and
the thought occurred, often, < Why may they not be
in the right, and we in the wrong ?' But, about this
time, infidelity began to prevail, and its abettors to be
bold in declaring their opinions. My mind was so
completely unfurnished with arguments in favour of
Christianity, that the only thing on which I could fix
was, that it had come down from my ancestors, and
the people with whom I was conversant, generally

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 135

believed in it. But this was far from satisfying my
mind. I began to feel uneasy for fear that we were
all wrong in our belief; but the thought was never
pleasing to my mind. As to books of evidences, I
knew nothing about them, and cannot remember that
I had ever heard of such works. And I was so situ-
ated that I had no one to whom I could apply for in-
struction. The only person with whom I had any
communication, on literary subjects, was a gentleman,
who though he said nothing to me on the subject, was
deeply imbued with skeptical opinions. Being sepa-
rated from the companions of my youth, and placed
in a secluded situation, where, except on particular
occasions, I saw little company, and where there were
few opportunities of hearing instructive preaching, I
was cast upon my own thoughts, and my reflections
were often not very pleasing. One day — -it was the
Lord's day — as I was looking over some books, which
I had in a trunk, my eye caught the words, ' Internal
Evidences of the Christian Religion.' I had often
seen the same book, and never so much as thought
what the subject of it was ; but in my present per-
plexity, I seized it with avidity, and began to read.
The work was the celebrated treatise of Soame
Jenyns, Esq. I never removed from where I was
sitting until I had finished it, and as I proceeded, the
light of evidence poured in upon my mind with such
power of demonstration, that at the conclusion, I had
the idea of the room being full of resplendent light. I
enjoyed a pleasure which none can appreciate but
those who have been led to the contemplation of the
truth, in like perplexing circumstances. Not only
were all my doubts removed, but I wanted no more
evidence. My conviction of the truth of Christianity
was complete. I believe it could not have been in-
creased.

" But still I knew scarcely any thing of the method
of salvation, revealed in the gospel. I entertained
the common legal notions of thousands of ignorant
people, ' that at a convenient time I would become
good, never doubting, for a moment, of my ability to

136 THOUGHTS ON

do all that was requisite. The only thing which gave
me uneasiness was, the fear of a sudden death, which
would not afford me the opportunity of repenting and
making my peace with God. But the hope prevailed,
that I should die a lingering death, and be in my
senses, and then I would do all that was requisite to
prepare me for heaven ; while at the same time, I had
no definite idea, what that preparation was. During
this period, I was exposed to few temptations; but
still some sins had dominion over me. One day a
child brought to me a small book and said that Mrs. T.
requested that I would read it, and return it soon, as it
was borrowed. The title was, < Jenks on Submission to
the Righteousness of God/ I read the book through at a
single sitting, and again a new light sprung up in my
mind. The author, in the introduction, gives an account
of his ignorance of the true method of a sinner's justifi-
cation, until he had been for years a preacher. He
was a minister of the Church of England. I now
found that I likewise had been all my life ignorant of
the way of salvation ; for I entertained the same legal
and unscriptural notions which he proves to be utterly
erroneous. Although these new views seem to have
been merely intellectual, yet they afforded me a great
satisfaction. I had now a distinct knowledge of the
gospel method of justification, which I ever after-
wards retained. Another copy of this book I have
never seen.

" The preaching, to which I had access, was mostly
of a wild, fanatical kind, and the way in which I
heard the new birth described, tended to prejudice me
against the doctrine of regeneration. I had never
before heard any thing about this change, and yet I
was sure that I knew some very good and religious
people. I began to be troubled to know, whether
sober, intelligent Christians believed in this doctrine.
It also became a subject of discussion in the little
circle with which I was conversant ; and I found that
one person in the company professed to have expe-
rienced this change ; another was convinced of its
reality, but professed to be merely an inquirer; a

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 137

third Was of opinion, that it related to the conversion
of Jews and infidels, and that there was no other re-
generation, except in baptism ; and the fourth was
the skeptical gentleman, already mentioned, who was
incredulous about the whole matter. In these conver-
sations, I, being young and ignorant, took no part,
but I listened to them with intense interest. I had
recourse to such books as I had access to, but could
find nothing that was satisfactory ; for my range of
religious books was very narrow, and few of these of
an evangelical cast. The person of my acquaintance,
who professed conversion, one day gave me a narra-
tive of the various steps and changes experienced in
this transition from darkness to light. As I enter-
tained a favourable opinion of the veracity and sin-
cerity of the individual, I began to think there might
be something in it. Although I had experienced no
remarkable change thus far, I knew that the subject
of religion had become one of much more frequent
thought, and excited much more interest in my mind
than formerly. One evidence of this was, that I
commenced secret prayer, a duty utterly neglected
until this time, except when some one of the family
was dangerously sick. I had selected a retired spot,
surrounded by a thick growth of trees and bushes,
on the margin of a brook. Here I made a kind of
arbour, over a little plat of green grass, and in the
summer evenings I would resort to this sequestered
spot. It was on the afternoon of a Sunday, I was
reading a sermon on the long-suffering and patience
of God, in waiting with delaying sinners; and so
many things applied so exactly to my own case, that
I became so much affected with a sense of the divine
goodness and forbearance, in sparing me, and waiting
so long with me, while I was living in neglect of him,
that I felt impelled to go out and weep. I was read-
ing the sermon aloud to the family, by request. I
laid down the book abruptly, and hastened to my re-
tirement, where I poured out a flood of tears, in
prayer. And, suddenly, I was overwhelmed with a
flood of joy. It was exstatic beyond any thing which

12*

138 THOUGHTS ON

I had ever conceived ; for though I thought religion
a necessary thing, I never had an idea that there
was any positive pleasure in its exercises. Whence
this joy originated, I knew not. The only thing which
had been on my mind was, the goodness and patience
of God, and my own ingratitude. Neither can I now
say how long it continued ; but the impression left
was, that I was in the favour of God, and should
certainly be happy for ever. When the tumult of
feeling had subsided, I began to think that this was
conversion— -this was the great change, of which I had
recently heard so much. It occurred to me, when
walking home, that if this was indeed the change
called the new birth, it would be evinced by my for-
saking all my sins. This suggestion appeared right,
and I determined to make this the test of its reality.
All the evening, my mind was in a delightful calm ;
but the next day my feelings had returned into their
old channel. I was grieved at this, and resorted to
the same place where I had experienced such a de-
lightful frame, in hopes, that by some kind of associa-
tion, the same scene would be renewed; but though
there was the place and all the objects of yesterday,
the soul-ravishing vision was not there ; and after a
feeble attempt at prayer, and lingering for some time,
I returned without meeting any thing which I sought
and desired. It was not long before I was subjected
to the test which I had fixed ; a temptation to a beset-
ting sin was presented, and I had no strength to resist,
but was instantly overcome. This failure gave me
inexpressible pain, on reflection. I did not know how
dear were my cherished hopes until they were wrested
from me. I never felt a keener regret at any loss
which I ever experienced.

" Although I was constrained to admit, that I was
not a regenerated person, I was sensible of a consid-
erable change in my views and feelings on the subject
of religion. I had no longer any doubt of the neces-
sity of regeneration, and enchained some consistent
notions of what its effects must be. I had, as before
stated, acquired evangelical views of the way in

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 139

which a sinner must be justified; and entertained dif-
ferent feelings from what I had formerly towards
religious people. Formerly they were objects of dread
and aversion, now I felt a sincere regard, and high
respect for the same characters; and was pleased,
when I heard of any of my friends becoming religious,
or more serious than before. I had now an oppor-
tunity of hearing an able minister preach an evange-
lical sermon on the text, 'For our righteousnesses
are as filthy rags/ &c, and I cannot tell the gratifi-
cation I experienced, in hearing the doctrine of justi-
fication, which I had fully embraced, preached dis-
tinctly and luminously from the pulpit : but when I
looked around on the audience, I had the impression,
that they were all, or nearly all, ignorant of what he
was saying, and were still trusting to their own works.
It gave me pleasure, also, now, to converse on the
doctrines of religion ; and I felt a real abhorrence of
vicious courses. This was my state of mind when
Providence cast my lot where a powerful revival
had.been in progress for some time. I had witnessed
something of this kind in a wild, fanatical sect, where
bodily agitations were common and violent ; but this
was a different scene. The principal conductor and
preacher was a man of learning and eloquence ; and
his views of experimental religion, as I think, most
correct and scriptural. If he erred, it was on the safe
side, in believing in the thorough conversion of but a
small number of those who appeared impressed. In
entering into this scene, I experienced various new,
and conflicting feelings. The young converts spoke
freely, in my presence, of their conviction and con-
version ; but often with a degree of levity, which sur-
prised me. In their conversations I could take no
part, and although my general purpose was to con-
sider myself an unawakened, unconverted sinner, yet
when I heard the marks of true religion laid down,
and especially by the distinguished preacher, before
mentioned, I could not prevent the thought arising
continually, < If this is religion, then you have expe-
rienced it.? This seemed to me to be the suggestion of

140 THOUGHTS ON

a false hope, by the enemy, to prevent my falling un-
der conviction. Still the idea was continually pre-
sented to my mind, and with the appearance of truth.
I took occasion to state the matter to the clergyman
above alluded to, as soon as I could gain access to
him ; for I was diffident and timid, and had never
opened my case to any one, freely. I told him all my
former exercises, and stated distinctly, that they had
not been sufficient to break the habit of sinning, to
which I was addicted. As soon as I mentioned this
part, he said, in a peremptory tone, 'then surely
your exercises were not of the nature of true reli-
gion; and you must seek a better hope or you will
never be admitted into heaven/ This decisive an-
swer drove away, from that moment, every idea of
my being in a state of grace ; and I felt relieved from
what I had myself considered a temptation, to enter-
tain a false hope. Now I began to seek conviction,
as a necessary preliminary to conversion ; and hoped
that every sermon which I heard, would be the
means of striking terror into my soul. I read .the
most awakening discourses, went to hear the most
arousing preachers ; endeavoured to work on my own
mind by imagining the awful realities of the judg-
ment, and the torments of the damned. I strove to
draw the covering from the pit, that I might behold
the lake of fire, and hear the wailings of the damned.
But the more I sought these awful feelings of con-
viction, the further they seemed to fly from me. My
heart seemed to grow harder every day. I was sen-
sible of nothing but: insensibility. I became discour-
aged; and the more, because I was obliged to re-
move from the scene of the revival, to a place where
there was no concern about religion, in the people
generally ; and where, I expected the preaching to be
cold and lifeless. I spent a day before my departure,
in secret, and in solemn reflection on my deplorable
and hopeless case. I ran over all the kind dispensa-
tions of God's providence towards me, and reflected
on the many precious means of grace, which I had
recently enjoyed, without effect. The conclusion

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 141

which seemed now to be forced on my mind was, that
God had given me up to a hard heart, and that I
never should be so happy as to obtain religion. This
conclusion had, to my mind, all the force of a cer-
tainty ; and I began to think about the justice of God
in my condemnation: and no truth ever appeared
with more lucid evidence to my mind. I fully justi-
fied God in sending me to hell. I saw that it was not
only right, but I did not see how a just God could
do otherwise. And / seemed to acquiesce in it, as a
righteous and necessary thing. At this moment,
my mind became more calm than it had been for a
long time. All striving and effort on my part ceased,
and being in the woods, I recollected that it was time
for me to return to the house, where I expected to
meet some friends. Here I found a minister waiting
for me, whom I had seen but never spoken to. He
took me aside, and began to represent the many pri-
vileges which I had enjoyed, and expressed a hope
that I had received some good impressions. I told
him that it was true, that I had been highly favoured ;
but that I had now come to a fixed conclusion that I
should certainly be for ever lost ; for under all these
means, I had not received the slightest conviction,
without which my conversion was impossible. He
replied, by saying, 'that no certain degree of con-
viction was necessary — that the only use of convic-
tion was, to make us feel our need of Christ as a
Saviour ; and appealed to me, whether I did not feel,
that I stood in need of a Saviour/ He then went on
to say, < Christ is an advocate at the right hand of
God, and stands ready to receive any case which is
committed to his hands, and however desperate your
case may now appear to be, only commit it to him
and He will bring you off safely, < for He is able to
save to the uttermost all that come unto God by
Him.' Here, a new view broke in on my mind. I
saw that Christ was able to save even ?ne, and I felt
willing to give my cause into his hands. This disco-
very of the bare possibility of salvation, was one of
the greatest deliverances I ever experienced. I was

142 THOUGHTS ON

affected exceedingly with the view, which I had of
this truth, so as to be unable to speak. Hope now-
sprung up in my desolate soul — not that I was par-
doned or accepted. Such a thought did not occur —
but that it was yet possible, that I might be, here-
after, and I was resolved never to give over seeking,
until I obtained the blessing. All that evening I was
sweetly composed, and precious promises and decla-
rations of the word of God came dropping succes-
sively into my mind, as if they had been whispered to
me. I never could have believed, unless I had ex-
perienced it, that the mere possibility of salvation would
produce such comfort.

" About this time, next morning, probably — when I
retired to the woods — where my secret devotions were
usually performed, I experienced such a melting of
heart from a sense of God's goodness to me, as I never
felt before or since. It seemed as if my eyes — so hard
to weep commonly — were now a fountain of tears.
The very earth was watered with their abundance.
Indeed, my heart itself seemed to be dissolved, just as
a piece of ice is dissolved by the heat of the sun. Of
the particular exercises of this melting season, my
memory does not retain a distinct recollection.

"For some months I attended to religious duties,
with various fluctuations of feeling. Sometimes I
entertained a pleasing hope that I was indeed a Chris-
tian— a renewed person ; but, at other times, I was
not only distressed with doubts, but came to the con-
clusion, that I was still in my sins. The only thing
which I deem it important to mention during this pe-
riod, was, a deeper discovery of the wickedness of my
own heart. This conviction of deep-rooted, inherent
depravity, distressed me much; but I obtained con-
siderable relief from reading Owen on 'Indwelling
Sin.' This book exhibited the state of my heart
much, better than I could have done myself. Still,
however, I was much dissatisfied with myself, because
after so long a time, I had made so little progress. On
one occasion, at the close of the exercises of the Sab-
bath, I was so deeply sensible that my soul was still

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 143

in imminent danger of perdition, that I solemnly re-
solved to begin a new and more vigorous course of
engagedness to secure my salvation. I had spent
much time in reading accounts of Christian expe-
rience, and those which lay down the marks and evi-
dences of true religion, such as 'Owen on Spiritual
Mindedness/ 6 Edwards on the Affections/ < Guth-
rie's Trial of a Saving Interest in Christ,' 'New-
ton's Letters,' 'Pike and Hayward's Cases of Consci-
ence,' &c. I also conversed much with old and ex-
perienced Christians, as well as with those of my own
age. But all these having, as it then seemed to me,
very little facilitated my progress, and the evils of my
heart seeming rather to increase, I hastily resolved to
lay aside all books, except the Bible, and to devote
my whole time to prayer and reading, until I expe-
rienced a favourable change. In pursuance of this
purpose, I withdrew into a deeply retired spot, where
I knew I should be free from all intrusion from mor-
tals, and began my course of exertion with fasting
and strong resolution never to relinquish my efforts,
until I found relief. For five or six hours I was en-
gaged alternately in reading the Scriptures and at-
tempting to pray; but the longer I continued these
exercises, the harder did my heart become, and the
more wretched my feelings, until at length I was
exhausted and discouraged, and began to despair of
help, and was about returning from my chosen retire-
ment, in gloomy despondence, when it occurred to
me with peculiar force, that if I found I could do no-
thing to help myself, yet I might call upon God for
mercy. Accordingly, I fell down before him, and
said little more than is contained in the publican's
prayer, < God be merciful to me a sinner;' but this I
uttered with a deep and feeling conviction of my utter
helplessness. The words were scarcely out of my
mouth, when God was pleased to give me such a
manifestation of his love in the plan of redemption
through Christ, as filled me with wonder, love, and
joy. Christ did indeed appear to me as altogether
lovely, and I was enabled to view Him as my Saviour,

144 THOUGHTS ON

and to see that his sufferings were endured for me.
At no time before had I the full assurance of being in
the favour of God; but now every doubt of this was
dissipated. I could say, for the first time with un-
wavering confidence, < My beloved is mine, and I
am his.' And this assurance of God's favour arose
not from any suggestion or impulse directly made to
my mind, but from the clear view, that Christ, as a
Saviour, was freely offered, and from a conscious
assurance, that I did truly accept the oifer. I now
opened my Bible and began to read at the 18th chap-
ter of John and onward. Every word and sentiment
appeared glorious. I seemed to be reading a book
which was perfectly new, and, truly, the sacred pages
seemed to be illuminated with celestial light. And
I rejoiced to think that the Sacred Scriptures would
always be read in the same manner. How little did
I know of the spiritual warfare ! After my feelings
had a little subsided, but while the glorious truths of
the Gospel were still in full view, I made a formal
and solemn dedication of myself to God, the Father,
Son, and Holy Spirit ; and having writing materials
with me, I wrote down the substance of this covenant,
and subscribed it with my hand.

"I now believed, assuredly, that I was reconciled
to God through Jesus Christ ; but being naturally in-
clined to be suspicious of myself, I resolved to make
the Holy Scriptures the test of the genuineness of my
exercises, and to leave the final determination to the
fruits produced, as our Lord says, <By their fruits ye
shall know them? I remembered that it was written,
that faith works by love and purifies the heart. I
hoped, therefore, that I should now be delivered from
those evils of the heart with which I had been lately
so much affected. But, alas! in a few days I found
that the < old man' was not dead, but had power
to struggle in a fearful manner. I must acknowledge,
therefore, that, after a few weeks, I was much in the
same spiritual condition in which I was before this re-
markable manifestation."

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 145

Here the narration breaks off abruptly. It will not
escape the notice of the attentive reader, that in this
account all circumstances are avoided which could
lead to the discovery of the writer. The true reason
of this, I have reason to believe is, that the writer is
still alive, and has no desire to be made conspicuous.
It would be attended with no advantage to explain
by what means this imperfect narrative came into
my possession. The use which I make of it is not
contrary to the wishes of the writer, while the injunc-
tion is peremptory, that no hint shall be given to the
public, by which it may be conjectured who it is.

It may be remarked, in the first place, on this nar-
rative, that sometimes persons are brought along very
gradually in their acquisition of the knowledge of the
truth. One discovery is made at one time, and an-
other truth is revealed at another time ; and between
these steps there may be a long interval. It may
again be remarked, that commonly before a person
comes to the knowledge of a truth, the need of infor-
mation is sensibly felt ; and the appropriate means of
communicating it are provided. A book, a sermon,
a casual conversation, may be intimately connected
with our salvation. Those, who commence a religi-
ous life, though they may appear sincere, should
always be urged to go forward; there is much before
them which they have not yet experienced. If they
are not yet in the right way they may arrive at it.
In looking over the various exercises here detailed, I
am utterly at a loss to say when the work of grace
commenced. Perhaps, scarcely any two persons,
taken at random, would agree in this point ; for, while
some would scarcely admit, that there was any exer-
cising of saving faith until the last manifestation here
described, others would be for carrying it back to the
very beginning of the exercised soul's serious atten-
tion to religion. However this matter may be deci-
ded, one thing, I think, is evident, that it is a great
practical error to suppose, that nothing, connected
essentially with the sinner's conversion, is experien-
ced or done, until the moment of his conversion. He

13

146 THOUGHTS ON

may have to unlearn many erroneous opinions, taken
up through prejudice or inclination. He must learn
the truth of the Christian religion, if unhappily he
has adopted skeptical notions. He must learn to
know what the Bible teaches, as to man's duty, and
the true method of salvation. God's methods of
bringing his chosen into the paths of truth and holi-
ness are often wonderful. They are, at every step,
led in a way which they knew not. How remarka-
bly true is this, as it relates to conviction of sin !
When the sinner is most convinced, he thinks he has
no conviction at all. And in regard to conversion,
what a different thing does it turn out to be in expe-
rience, from what it was conceived to be beforehand !
Whilst the anxious soul was expecting something
miraculous, or entirely out of the way, he experi-
ences a new train of thought, new and pleasing views
of truth, with corresponding emotions, by which the
mind is so occupied, that it has no time nor inclina-
tion to scrutinize the nature or cause of these pleas-
ing exercises. He believes and hopes without asking
himself the question, are these the views and feelings
of a renewed soul? Afterwards, he can look back
and see that faith was exercised in these very acts,
and that the peace which he then enjoyed was the
peace of reconciliation through our Lord Jesus Christ.
But when the love of God is shed abroad in the heart
by the Holy Ghost, as described in the last part of
this narrative, the distressed soul is made sensible at
once of its happy state, and is made to rejoice in the
smiles of the divine favour. Then he can no more
doubt that God is reconciled and has lifted upon him
the light of his countenance, than that the sun is shining
at mid -day. All Christians, however, are not favoured
with these bright discoveries, but always walk in a
degree of darkness, or at best in a mere crepuscular
light; yet they fear the Lord and obey the voice of
his servants. I have known instances of some per-
sons changing their opinion of the time of their own
conversion, several times, and fixing it at different
periods of their experience, as their sentiments be-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 147

came more correct and mature; and those converts
who shine forth more brightly at first, are not always
they who appear best after the lapse of years.

The following narrative of the experience of Sir
Richard Hill, written by himself, is found in his life,
by the Rev. Edwin Sidney, and has been inserted in
the Christian Observer of London, for September, 1839.
We make no apology for its length, as we are confi-
dent that all who have a taste for this kind of reading,
will be gratified to have the whole of this interesting
account, without curtailment.

" It would not be an easy matter for me to ascertain
the time, when the first dawnings of divine light began
to break in upon my soul; but I remember particu-
larly that, when I was about eight or nine years of
age, being then at a neighbouring school, and repeat-
ing the catechism one Sunday evening with some other
boys, to the master, I found my heart sweetly drawn
up to heavenly objects, and had such a taste of the
love of God, as made every thing else appear insipid
and contemptible. This was but a transitory glimpse
of the heavenly gift; and I was no sooner withdrawn
with the rest of my school-fellows, than my religious
impressions vanished, and I returned to folly with the
same eagerness as before. But God did not leave me
to myself; I had frequent checks of conscience, and
the thoughts of death sometimes came forcibly into my
mind. I remained about two years at the school be-
fore mentioned, after which I was removed to West-
minster, where my convictions still pursued me, and
forced me to several superficial repentances and reso-
lutions ; but these, being all made_in my own strength,
soon came to nothing.

" When I had been about four or five years at West-
minster, I was to be confirmed with several more of
my school-fellows. I looked upon this as going into a
new state, and therefore made the most solemn resolu-
tions of becoming a new creature. But, alas ! my
happiness and conversion were far from beginning
here, as I had fondly imagined. The adversary, now
finding that he was not likely to make me continue

248 THOUGHTS ON

any longer in a state of practical wickedness by his
former stratagems, began to attack me on another side,
viz. by suggesting horrible doubts concerning the very
fundamentals of all religion — as the being of a God —
the immortality of the soul, and the divine origin of
the Scriptures. I endeavoured to reason myself into
the belief of these truths, but all in vain. However,
I thought I might easily get some book that should
convince me of their certainty. Accordingly, I bor-
rowed Dr. Beveridge's Private Thoughts, of a clergy-
man's widow, with whom I boarded, she having first
read to me a few pages in that excellent work. It
was, to the best of my remembrance, whilst she was
reading, that such glorious instantaneous light and
comfort were diffused over my soul, as no tongue can
express ; the love of God was shed abroad in my heart,
and I rejoiced with joy unspeakable and full of glory.
However, these comforts, I think, did not last above
half an hour at most, but went off by degrees, when
the same doubts succeeded ; upon which I again had
recourse to Bishop Beveridge's Thoughts, or to conver-
sation on the subject of religion; and for several times,
as I did this, I experienced the same manifestations of
divine love, which were sometimes of longer, some-
times of shorter duration.

" At length I began to be tired of this state of uncer-
tainty, especially as the comforts I had before felt began
to be few and faint. Add to this the bad example of
my school-fellows, and the despair I began to be in of
obtaining satisfaction of the truth of what is called
natural as well as revealed religion, contributed not a
little to make me lay aside my inquiries, and to fall
into many sins that youth and strong passions prompt-
ed me to ; and this I did with the more eagerness, as I
was desirous of laying hold of every opportunity of
turning my thoughts from within myself.

" I believe I might now be about eighteen years
of age, when, having gone through the school at
Westminster, I was entered at Magdalen College,
Oxford, where I continued between four and five
years. After which I went abroad for about two

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 149

years more, returning to England in 1757, being then
about the age of twenty-three or twenty-four. During
my residence at Oxford and in foreign parts, notwith-
standing all the wretched pains I took to lull conscience
asleep, still my convictions pursued me ; yea, the more
I endeavoured to put from me the thoughts of my soul
by drinking deeper draughts of iniquity, the more
strongly did the insulted Spirit plead with me, and
often in the very act of sin, would so embitter my
carnal gratifications, and strike me with such deep re-
morse, that, oh ! horrid to think ! I have even been
ready to murmur, because God would not let me alone,
nor suffer me to sin with the same relentless satisfac-
tion which I observed in my companions.

" But He that hath loved me with an everlasting
love, had all this while thoughts of mercy towards
me, and would not take his loving kindness utterly
away from me. He therefore waited that he might
be gracious unto me, and followed me with such loud
and constant convictions as often brought me upon
my knees, and sometimes forced me to break off my
sins for a month, or a quarter of a year together; for,
though I still remained full of doubts as to the truth
of religion, yet I thought that, if there was a God
and a future state, and if Jesus Christ was indeed the
true Messiah and the author of eternal salvation to
those who obey him, I could by no means be saved
in the state I was in ; and that, being uncertain
whether these things were so or not, it was the
highest infatuation to leave the eternal happiness or
misery of my soul at a perad venture, especially as I
could be no loser by admitting the truths of religion,
and living under their influence ; whereas, were I to
continue in sin under the supposition of their being
false, I might find myself fatally mistaken, when it
would be too late to recant or retrieve my error.
But, notwithstanding I came to this conclusion, and
plainly saw its reasonableness, yet were my religious .
fits of no long continuance, but every temptation that
offered itself hurried me impetuously away, and I
became seventimes more the child of hell than before.

13*

150 THOUGHTS ON

Nevertheless, every new fall increased my anguish of
spirit, and set me upon praying and resolving ; inso-
much, that I frequently bound myself under the most
solemn imprecations.

" But alas ! alas ! I was, all this while, as igno-
rant of my own weakness, as of Him on whom my
strength was laid ; and therefore no wonder all my
attempts to make myself holy, were attended with no
better success than if I had tried to wash the Ethio-
pian white, and answered no other end than to dis-
tress my soul a thousand times more than if I had
never made such solemn vows ; for, all this while, I
had no other notion of religion than that it consisted
in something which I was to do in order to make God
amends for my past sins, and to please him for the time
to come ; in consideration of which I should escape hell
and be entitled to everlasting life.

" In this manner I went on vowing and breaking my
vows, sinning, and repenting, till my most merciful
God and Saviour, seeing that all his gracious calls
would not overrule the horrible perverseness of my will,
instead of giving me up, as in just judgment he might
have done, or pronouncing against me that dreadful
sentence, < Cut it down, why cumbereth it the ground ¥
— I say, instead of this, he began to deal with me after
a far more violent method than he had hitherto done,
filling my soul with the most unimaginable terrors, in-
somuch that I roared for the very disquietness of my
heart. The arrows of the Almighty stuck fast in me,
the poison whereof drank up my spirits, and the pains
of hell gat hold upon me.

"From this time, which was about- October, 1757,
I may say that sin received its mortal blow, (I mean
its reigning power, for God knows the body of sin
yet is far from being done away,) and I set myself to
work with all the earnestness of a poor perishing
mariner, who is every moment in expectation of
shipwreck. I fasted, prayed, and meditated; I read
the Scriptures, communicated, and gave much alms.
But these things could bring no peace to my soul ; on
the contrary, I now saw, what I never had seen be-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 151

fore, that all my works were mixed with sin and im-
perfection. Besides this, Satan furiously assaulted me
with suggestions that I had committed the unpardon-
able sin against the Holy Ghost, and had let my day
of grace slip ; that therefore my prayers were cast out
by God, and were an abomination to him, and that it
was too late to think of mercy, when it was the time
of judgment.

" It is beyond the power of conception, much more
of expression, to form an idea of the dreadful agonies
my poor soul was now in. What to do, or to whom
to have recourse, I knew not ; for, alas, I had no ac-
quaintance with any body who seemed to have the
least experience in such cases. However, those about
me showed the greatest concern for my situation, and
offered their remedies for my relief, such as company,
physic, exercise, &c, which, in order to oblige them, I
complied with ; but my disorder not being bodily, but
spiritual, was not to be removed by these carnal quack-
eries, as they were soon convinced.

" I recollected, however, that once, if not oftener,
the Rev. Mr. Fletcher, then tutor to two neighbouring
young gentlemen, but since vicar of Madely, in this
county, had, in my hearing, been spoken of in a very
disrespectful manner, for things which seemed to me
to savour of a truly Christian spirit. I therefore de-
termined to make my case known to him, and accord-
ingly wrote him a letter, without mentioning my name,
giving him some account of my situation, and begging
him for God's sake, if he had a word of comfort to
offer to my poor, distressed, despairing soul, to meet
me that very night at an Inn in Salop, in which place
I then was. Though Mr. Fletcher had four or five
miles to walk, yet he came punctually to the appoint-
ment, and spoke to me in a very comfortable manner,
giving me to understand that he had very different
thoughts of my state from what I had myself. After
our discourse, before he withdrew, he went to prayer
with me ; and among other petitions that he put up in
my behalf, he prayed that I might not trust in my own

152 THOUGHTS ON

righteousness, which was an expression, that, though
I did not ask him its import, I knew not well what to
make of.

" After my conversation with Mr. Fletcher, I was
rather easier, but this decrease of my terrors was but
for a few days' duration ; for, though I allowed that
the promises and comforts he would have me apply
to myself belonged to the generality of sinners, yet I
thought they were not intended for me, who had been
so dreadful a backslider, and who, by letting my day
of grace slip, had sinned beyond the reach of mercy.
Besides I concluded that they could be made effectual
to none but such as had faith to apply them ; whereas
I had no faith, consequently they could avail me
nothing. I therefore wrote again to Mr. F., telling
him, as nearly as I can remember, that however others
might take comfort from the Scripture promises, I
feared none of them belonged to me, who had cruci-
fied the Son of God afresh, and sinned wilfully after
having received the knowledge of the truth. I told
him also, that I found my heart to be exceeding hard
and wicked ; and that, as all my duties proceeded from
a slavish dread of punishment, and not from the prin-
ciples of faith and love, and were withal so very de-
fective, I thought it was impossible God should ever
accept them. In answer to this, the kind and sym-
pathizing Mr. F. immediately wrote me a sweet and
comfortable letter, telling me that the perusal of the
account I had given him had caused him to shed
tears of joy to see what great things the Lord had
done for my soul, in convincing me experimentally of
the insufficiency of all my own doings to justify me
before God, and of the necessity of a saving faith in
the blood of Jesus. He also sent me i The Life and
Death of Mr. Halyburton, Professor of Divinity in
the University of St. Andrews/ which book I read
with the greatest eagerness, as the account Mr. H.
therein gives of himself, seemed in a very particular
manner to tally with my own experience. I therefore
thought that what had been, might be ; that the

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 153

same God who had showed himself so powerfully,
on the behalf of Mr. H., and delivered him out of all
his troubles, was able to do the same for me.

"You will wonder how I could hold out under all
these pressures, the half of which, I might say, has
not been told ; and indeed it was impossible I could
have held out, had it not been that, at those very
times when I thought all was over with me, there
would, now and then, dart in upon me some com-
fortable glimmering of hope, which kept me utterly
from fainting.

" In this situation I continued from September 1757,
to January 1758, when the Vinerian Professor of
Oxford being to read a course of lectures upon the
Common Law, I resolved to set out for that place,
not through any desire I had to attend the lectures,
for I had no heart for any such thing, but because I
knew I should have chambers to myself in college,
and thereby have an opportunity of being much
alone, and of giving way to those thoughts, with which
my heart was big, as also of seeking the Lord with
greater diligence, if peradventure 1 might find him.
Accordingly, when I arrived at the University, though
to save appearances, I dragged my body to several of
the lectures, yet my poor heavy-laden soul engrossed
all my attention ; and so sharp was the spiritual an-
guish I laboured under, that I scarcely saw a beggar
in the streets, but I envied his happiness, and would
most gladly have changed situations with him, had
it been in my power. 0, thought I, these happy
souls have yet an offer of mercy, and a door of hope
open to them, but it is not so with me ; I have re-
jected God so long, that now God has rejected me as
he did Saul ; my day of grace is past, irrecoverably
past, and I have forever shut myself out of all the
promises.

"All this while, one thing that greatly astonished
me was, to see the world about me so careless and
unconcerned, especially many that were twice my
age amongst the Doctors of Divinity, and fellows of
the college. Surely, thought I, these people must be

154 THOUGHTS ON

infatuated indeed, thus to mind earthly things and to
follow the lusts of the flesh, when an eternity of hap-
piness or misery is before them, when they know not
how short a time they have to live, and their ever-
lasting state depends on the present moment.

" It was now the season of Lent, the first or second
Sunday in which, the sacrament of the Lord's Supper
is always administered in Magdalen College Chapel.
I therefore besought the Lord with strong cryings,
that he would vouchsafe me some token for good,
some sense of his love towards me, and willingness to
be reconciled to me, that I might wait upon him at his
table without distraction, and partake of those blessings
which that ordinance is instituted to convey to the
souls of true believers.

"And 0, for ever and for ever blessed be his holy
name, he did not reject the prayer of the poor desti-
tute ; he heard me what time the storm fell upon me,
and, I make no doubt, had heard, and, in his purpose
at least, answered me, from the first day he inclined
my heart to understand, and to seek after him. But
he knew better than I did myself, when it was meet
to speak peace to my soul, and therefore waited that
he might be gracious unto me ; first in order to con-
vince me the more deeply of the exceeding sinfulness
of sin, and the desert thereof; secondly, to show me
more experimentally my own weakness and the in-
sufficiency of any righteousness of my own to recom-
mend me to his favour; thirdly, to make me prize
more highly, and hunger and thirst more earnestly,
for Jesus Christ, and the salvation that is in him.
These ends being in some measure answered, on
Saturday, February 18th, to the best of my remem-
brance, the night before the sacrament, it pleased the
Lord, after having given me, for a few days before,
some taste of his love, first to bring me into a com-
posed frame of spirit, and then to convey such a tho-
rough sense of his pardoning grace and mercy to my
poor soul, that I, who was just before trembling upon
the brink of despair, did now rejoice with joy un-
speakable and full of glory! The love of God was

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 155

shed abroad in my heart through the Holy Ghost that
was given unto me, even that perfect love which cast-
eth out fear; and the Spirit itself bore witness with
my spirit that I was a child of God.

" For some time after these sensible manifestations
of God's love were withdrawn, my mind was com-
posed and my hope lively ; but I had still, at seasons,
secret misgivings and many doubts as to the reality of
my conversion, which put me seriously to examine my
state, whether the Scripture marks of a work of grace
were really to be found in me or not ; and in these
examinations I had great help from those excellent
books, Guthrie's Trial of a Saving Interest in Christ,
and Palmer's Gospel New Creature. Add to this, that
being now in London, I had there the opportunity of
hearing that faithful minister of Christ, the Rev. Mr.
Romaine, whose discourses were so exactly descriptive
of, and adapted to, my own experience, that they
afforded me a good confirmation that I was indeed
passed from death unto life, and from the power of
Satan unto God.

" During my stay in London, it pleased God to
make me acquainted with many of his people, to
whom my heart was immediately knit with the closest
affection ; yea, so great was my love to all those, in
whom I discerned the Divine image of the Lord Jesus,
that the yearnings of Joseph's heart towards his breth-
ren will but very faintly express it. Be they who or
what they would, high or low, rich or poor, ignorant
or learned, it mattered not; if I had reason to believe
they were born of God and made partakers of a divine
nature, they were equally dear to me ; my heart was
open to receive them without reserve, and I enjoyed
the sweetest fellowship and communion with them,
whilst all other company was insipid and irksome.

" For about two years after this, I was, in a good
measure, relieved from those piercing terrors and that
deep distress with which I was before overwhelmed.
This, you will say, was living upon frames and expe-
riences, more than upon the exceeding great and pre-
cious promises made to returning sinners in Christ

156 THOUGHTS ON

Jesus. It is true it was so, and of this God soon con-
vinced me ; for I now began to doubt whether these
great comforts I had set so high a value upon, might
not be all delusion, or proceed from the workings of
my own spirit; and if so, my case was just as bad as
ever. My day of grace might still be past, and nothing
yet remain forme but * a fearful looking for of judg-
ment and fiery indignation/

"This was in April, 1759, soon after my return from
London into Shropshire, where I had not been long
before I wrote to Mr. Fletcher, giving him an account
of my state. After this it pleased the Lord to remove
my burthen, and to exchange these sharp terrors of
the spirit of bondage, for the sweet reviving comforts
of the spirit of adoption, showing me the rich treasures
of Gospel promises, and that they, and not my own
frames, were to be the ground of my hope and my
stay in every time of need. Since this time, I may
say with Bishop Cowper, that my soul has never
experienced the like extremity of terror ; and though
I have had many ups and downs, many grievous temp-
tations and sharp conflicts, much aridity of soul, dead-
ness, and strong corruptions to fight against, yet have
I always found the Lord to be a very present help in
trouble ; his grace has been sufficient for me in every
hour of need, and I doubt not but all his dealings with
me, however thwarting to my own ideas of what was
fit and meet for me, have some way or other been sub-
servient to my spiritual interest, since his most sure
promise is that all things work together for good, to
them that love God and are the called according to
his purpose."

CHAPTER X.

Imperfect sanctification. — The spiritual warfare.

It may be difficult to account for the fact, that when
the power of God was as sufficient to make the sin-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 157

ner perfect, in the new creation, as to implant a prin-
ciple of spiritual life, he should have left the work
imperfect ; and that this imperfection, according to
our views of Scripture, and of the fact as made
known by experience, should continue through the
whole period of human life, to whatever extent it may-
be protracted. Some, indeed, seem to suppose, that
the remainders of sin in believers are seated in the
body, and therefore as long as this sinful body con-
tinues, this inbred corruption will manifest itself, more
or less. This opinion seems to have been imbibed, at
a very early period of the history of the church, and
was probably derived from the Platonic philosophy,
which considers matter to be the origin of evil. From
this view of the seat of indwelling sin, men, in all
ages, who entertained it, have been led to lay great
stress on fasting and other bodily austerities, by which
the body was enfeebled and emaciated. But, the
principle assumed being false, all that is built upon it
must be false likewise. The body, though infected
with the pollution of sin, through its connexion with
the soul, is not, and cannot be the source of iniquity.
Mere matter, however curiously organized and ani-
mated, is, apart from the soul, no moral agent, and
therefore not susceptible of moral qualities. Sin must
have its origin and seat in the free rational soul ; and
the appetites and passions, which have their seat in
the body, partake of the nature of sin, by their excess
and irregularity, and by their cravings, often influence
the will to choose that which is not good, or is not the
best. Still, however, the body is a great clog to the
soul, and the appetites and passions, which are seated
in the body, being very urgent in their cravings for
gratification, greatly disturb the exercises of piety,
and sometimes prevail against the higher principles
which by grace have been implanted. As the body
is also subject to various diseases, these, on account
of the close connexion between the soul and body,
mightily affect the mind, and often create a great hin-
derance to devotion, and the exercises of piety.

Where two opposite principles exist in the same

14

158 THOUGHTS ON

soul, there must be a perpetual conflict between
them, until "the weaker dies/' But as the "old
man/' though crucified, never becomes extinct in this
life, this warfare between the flesh and the spirit never
ceases until death. As these opposite moral princi-
ples operate through the same natural faculties and
affections, it is a matter of course, that as the one gains
strength, the other must be proportionably weakened ;
and experience teaches that the most effectual way
to subdue the power of sin, is, to cherish and exer-
cise the principle of holiness. But, if the love of God
grows cold, or declines in vigour, then the motions of
sin become more lively, and the stirring of inbred cor-
ruption is sensibly experienced. Just then, in the same
proportion, will the principle of evil be diminished,
as the principle of grace is strengthened. Every vic-
tory, over any particular lust, weakens its power ; and
by a steady growth in grace, such advantage is ob-
tained over inbred sin, that the advanced Christian
maintains the mastery over it, and is not subject to
those violent struggles which were undergone when
this warfare commenced. Young Christians, how-
ever, are often greatly deceived by the appearance of
the death of sin, when it only sleeps, or deceitfully
hides itself, waiting for a more favourable opportunity
to exert itself anew. When such an one experiences,
in some favoured moment, the love of God shed
abroad in his heart, sin appears to be dead, and those
lusts which warred against the soul, to be extin-
guished; but when these lively feelings have passed
away, and carnal objects begin again to entice, the
latent principle of iniquity shows itself; and often
that Christian who had fondly hoped that the enemy'
was slain and the victory won, and in consequence,
ceased to watch and pray, is suddenly assailed and
overcome by the deceitfulness of sin. Christians are
more injured in this warfare, by the insidious and
secret influence of their enemies lulling them into the
sleep of carnal security, than by all their open and
violent assaults. No duty is more necessary, in main-
taining this conflict, than watchfulness. Unceasing

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 159

vigilance is indispensable. "Watch and pray that
ye enter not into temptation," — "and what I say unto
you, I say unto all, Watch." Lawful pursuits are
more frequently a snare than those which are mani-
festly sinful. It is a duty "to provide things honest
in the sight of all men," but while this object is in-
dustriously pursued, the love of the world gradually
gains ground. The possession of wealth is viewed as
important. Eternal things are out of view, or viewed
as at a great distance, and the impression from them
is faint. Worldly entanglements and embarrassments
are experienced; the spiritual life is weakened. A
sickly state commences, and a sad declension ensues.
Alas ! for the Christian now. Where is the burning
zeal with which he commenced his course ? Where
now are the comforts of religion, with which he was
so entirely satisfied, that the world was viewed as an
empty bauble? Where now is his spirit of prayer,
which made this duty his delight ? Where his love of
the Bible, which drew him aside often from worldly
business to peruse its sacred instructions ? 0 ! what a
change ! Reader, it is, perhaps, thy own case. " Thou
art the man" who hast thus fallen, and left thy first
love. "Repent, therefore, and do the first works,"
lest some heavy judgment fall upon thee. God holds
a rod for his own children, and when the warnings
and exhortations of the word, and the secret whis-
pers of the Spirit are neglected, some painful provi-
dence is sent — some calamity, which has so much
natural connexion with the sin, as to indicate that it
is intended as a chastisement for it. These strokes
are often very cutting and severe, but they must be
so to render them effectual. " No chastening for the
present, seemeth to be joyous, but grievous, never-
theless, afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of
righteousness unto them which are exercised there-
by." Our heavenly Father afflicteth not willingly,
but " for our profit, that we might be partakers of his
holiness." The followers of Dr. Hawker, in England,
who are ultra Calvinists, entertain the opinion, that
" the law in our members" is not, in the least, affected

160 THOUGHTS ON

or weakened, by our regeneration or sanctification,
but that through life, it remains the very same, no
how weakened in its strength, by any progress in the
divine life which the Christian may make. But this is
contrary to the word of God, which speaks of "dying
daily unto sin" — of " mortifying the deeds of the body"
— "crucifying the flesh," &c. The same opinion, or
one near akin to it, was held by Mr. William Walker,
of Dublin, which he brings to view in his able "ad-
dress to the Wesleyan Methodists." His opinion, how-
ever, I think, was, that there is no such thing as a pro-
gressive work of sanctification which word properly
means a consecration to God.

In a former chapter, I mentioned the different views
of different denominations of Christians respecting the
nature of the soul's exercises in conversion, but this
difference is far more considerable as it relates to the
spiritual conflict and sanctification. It is far from the
wish of the writer to give offence to any body of
Christians, much less to provoke controversy. This is
no proper field for controversy. In the midst of this
militant state, there ought to be one peaceful ground,
where all true followers of Jesus might sit down to-
gether and compare their experiences of the loving
kindness and faithful dealings of their Lord and Mas-
ter. But surely it ought not to be offensive to any
body of Christians simply to state what their views
are in regard to experimental religion, and how far
they agree or differ from those of other Christians,
If there be mistakes, or erroneous views, on any side,
they should be considered and corrected. And the
writer of these essays will be thankful to any one
who will kindly point out any mistakes in regard to
matters of fact into which he may happen to fall.
There has long been a difference of opinion respect-
ing the true interpretation of the seventh chapter of
the epistle to the Romans, in regard to Paul's descrip-
tion of the spiritual conflict, whether he describes the
exercises of a convinced sinner, whom he personates ;
or whether he does not express honestly the feelings
of his own heart, and describe the painful conflict be-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 161

tween the powers of sin and holiness which was go-
ing on in his own bosom. The latter, undoubtedly,
is the obvious meaning, for the apostle speaks in the
first person, and gives no notice of introducing a per-
son of another character ; and some of the expres-
sions here employed, are as strongly descriptive of a
regenerate heart as any in the Bible. Who, but a re-
generate man, can say, " I delight in the law of God
after the inward man i" And the closing words show
clearly enough, that the apostle was detailing the
exercises of his own soul; for he gives thanks to God
for giving him the victory, in this severe conflict, but
still intimates that the two irreconcilable principles
continued, according to their respective natures, to ope-
rate within him. " I thank God, through Jesus Christ
our Lord. So then, with the mind, I myself serve the
law of God, but with the flesh, the law of sin." Armi-
nius began his career of departure from the commonly
received opinions of the reformed churches, by writing
a book in exposition of the vii. of the Romans ; and it
is a remarkable coincidence that Faustus Socinus, in
Poland, was engaged at the same time in writing a
book on the same subject, and to support the same
views. This subject is excellently treated in one of
President Dickinson's Letters; and more largely by
" Frazer on Sanctification." The same subject is also
treated accurately and judiciously by Dr. Hodge, in his
commentary on the Epistle to the Romans. It is un-
derstood that the followers of Mr. John Wesley, hold,
in conformity with his recorded opinion, that sancti-
fication is not a gradual and progressive work, which
remains imperfect in the best, in this life, but that, like
regeneration, it is instantaneous, and that the result is a
complete deliverance from indwelling sin ; so that from
that moment they are perfectly holy, and sin no more —
unless they fall from this high state of grace — in thought,
word, or deed. Here then there can be no similarity
between the religious experience of an Arminian, who
has attained sanctiflcation, and a Calvinist, who is
seeking to grow in grace and in the knowledge of our
Lord Jesus Christ. The one is conscious of no sin,

1 4 *

162 THOUGHTS ON

inward or outward, of nature or of act, and must have
perpetual joy — a heaven on earth ; while the other is
groaning under a deep sense of inherent depravity,
which works powerfully against his will, and continu-
ally interrupts and retards his progress. His frequent
language is " 0 wretched man that I am, who shall
deliver me from the body of this death !" Here, indeed,
we have a wide difference in the religious experience
of professing Christians; and it must be acknowledged,
that if the experience of the Arminian is in accordance
with the word of God, he has greatly the advantage
over the contrite, broken hearted penitent, whose com-
plaints are so great that they often cause him to wet
his couch with tears. How to reconcile these widely
different views of our condition as sanctified sinners, I
know not. There must be a grand mistake somewhere;
and I sincerely pray to God, that if my views on this
subject are erroneous, they may be corrected !

The Christian is a soldier, and must expect to en-
counter enemies, and to engage in many a severe
conflict. The young convert may well be likened to
a raw recruit just enlisted. He feels joyous and
strong, full of hope and full of courage. When the
veteran Christian warns him of coming dangers and
formidable enemies, and endeavours to impress on
his mind a sense of his weakness and helplessness
without divine aid, he does not understand what he
says. He apprehends no dangers or enemies which
he is not ready to face, and is ready to think that the
aged disciples, with whom he converses, have been
deficient in courage and skill, or have met with ob-
stacles which are now removed out of the way. He
views the contests, of which they speak, as the young
soldier does the field of battle at a distance, while he
is enjoying his bounty-money, and marches about
with a conscious exultation, on account of his mili-
tary insignia, and animated with martial music.
The young Christian is commonly treated by his
Lord with peculiar tenderness. He is like, the babe,
dandled on the knee, and exposed to no hardships.
His frames are lively, and often joyous, and he lives

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 163

too much upon them. His love to the Saviour and to
the saints is fresh and fervent, and his religious zeal,
though not well regulated by knowledge, is ardent.
He often puts older disciples to the blush by the
warmth of his affections, and his alacrity in the ser-
vice of his Redeemer ; and it is well, if he does not
sometimes indulge a censorious spirit, in judging those
who have been long exercised in the spiritual life.
This is indeed the season of his " first love" which
began to flow in the day of his espousals ; and though
occasionally dark clouds intercept his views, these are
soon forgotten, when the clear sunshine breaks forth to
cheer him on his way. During this period he delights
in social exercises, especially in communion with those
of his own age ; and in prayer, and in praise, and spi-
ritual conversation, his heart is lifted up to heaven,
and he longs for the time, when he may join the songs
of the upper temple. But ere long the scene changes.
Gradually the glow of fervent affections subsides.
Worldly pursuits, even the most lawful and necessary,
steal away the heart ; and various perplexing entangle-
ments beset the inexperienced traveller. He begins to
see that there were many things faulty in his early
course. He blames his own weakness or enthusiasm ;
and, in avoiding one extreme he easily falls into the
opposite, to which human nature has a strong bias.
He enters into more intercourse with the world, and,
of course, imbibes insensibly some portion of its spirit.
This has a deadening effect on his religious feelings ;
and his devotions are less fervent and less punctual ;
and far more interrupted with vain, wandering thoughts,
than before ; and he is apt to fall into a hasty or formal
attendance on the daily duties of the closet ; and a
little matter will sometimes lead him to neglect these
precious seasons of grace. A strange forgetfulness of
the presence of God, and of his accountableness for
every thought, word, and action, seizes upon him.
Close self-examination becomes painful, and when at-
tempted, is unsuccessful. New evils begin to appear
springing up in the heart. The imagination, before he
is aware, is filled with sensual imagery, which afford*

164 THOUGHTS ON

ing carnal pleasure, the train of his thoughts is with
difficulty changed. A want of prompt resolution is
often the occasion of much guilt, and much unhappi-
ness. Pride is sure to lift its head when God is out of
view ; and it is wonderful how this and kindred evils
will get possession and grow, so as to be visible to
others, while the person himself is not aware of the
disease. Anger, impatience, fretfulness, envy, undue
indulgence of the appetites, love of riches, fondness for
dress and show, the love of ease, aversion to spiritual
duties, with numerous similar and nameless evils are
now bred in the heart, and come forth to annoy
and retard the Christian in his course. His pride
makes him unwilling to open his ear to friendly and
fraternal reproof; such words fall heavily on him,
and wound his morbid sensibility, so that a conflict
takes place between a sense of duty and unmortified
pride. He inwardly feels that the rebuke of a brother
is just, and should be improved to the amendment of
the evil pointed out; but pride cannot brook the
thought of being exposed and humbled ; and he tries
to find something in the manner or circumstances
which can be censured; or suspicion will ascribe it
to a bad motive. If in this spiritual conflict, pride
should gain the victory, alas! how much sin follows
in its train ; — resentment towards a kind brother, hy-
pocrisy in concealing the real dictates of conscience,
and approbation of the inner man ; and a neglect of
all efforts at improvement. The person thus circum-
stanced, is instinctively led to endeavour to persuade
himself that he has done right. Still, however, the
language of his better part is that of self-condemna-
tion. But he hushes it up, and assumes an air of
innocence and boldness, and thus the Spirit is grieved.
Who can describe the train of evils which ensue, on
one defeat of this kind ? The mind becomes dark
and desolate ; communion with God is interrupted,
and a course of backsliding commences, which some-
times goes on for years, and then the wanderer is not
arrested and brought back without severe chastisement.
In such cases the judgments of God against his own

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 165

straying children are fearful; and if any experience
them not, who have thus declined, it is because they
are not children; "for what son is he whom the father
chasteneth not?"

Worldly prosperity has ever been found an unfavour-
able soil for the growth of piety. It blinds the mind
to spiritual and eternal things, dries up the spirit of
prayer, fosters pride and ambition, furnishes the appro-
priate food to covetousness, and leads to a sinful con-
formity to the spirit, maxims, and fashions of the world.
Some few have been enabled to pass this ordeal, with-
out serious injury; and have come forth like the three
children from Nebuchadnezzar's furnace, without the
smell of fire on their garments; but this could not have
been unless the Son of Man had been with them. Such
persons use all their health, influence, and wealth in
promoting the kingdom of Christ ; but generally, God
in mercy, refuses to give worldly prosperity to his
children. He " hath chosen the poor of this world, rich
in faith ;" that is, he hath commonly chosen poverty as
the safest condition for his children. His are " an af-
flicted and poor people, and they shall trust in the
name of the Lord." But the poor have their conflicts
and temptations, as well as the rich. They are con-
tinually tempted to discontent, to envy at the prosperity
of the rich, and sometimes to use unlawful means to
satisfy their craving wants. On account of the dangers
of both these conditions, Agur prayed, " Give me nei-
ther poverty nor riches ; feed me with food convenient
for me ; lest I be full and deny thee, and say, who is
the Lord ; or lest I be poor and steal, and take the name
of my God in vain." But in whatever state Provi-
dence has placed us, we should therewith be content.
Certainly when Christians make haste to be rich, they
are not governed by the wisdom which cometh from
above. No wonder that they pierce themselves through
with many sorrows, and are often in danger of eternal
perdition. If we sought wealth from no other motive
but to use it for God's glory, it would do us no harm ;
for this principle would regulate the pursuit ; so that it

166 THOUGHTS ON

would not be detrimental to the kingdom of God with-
in us.

The enemies of the Christian have been commonly
divided into three classes, the world, the flesh, and the
devil; but though these may be conceived of, and
spoken of separately, they resist the Christian soldier
by their combined powers. The devil is the agent,
the world furnishes the bait or the object of tempta-
tion, and the flesh, or o;ur own corrupt nature, is the
subject on which the temptation operates. Sometimes,
indeed, Satan injects his fiery darts, enkindled in hell,
to frighten the timid soul, and drive it to despair ; but
in this he often overshoots his mark, and drives the
poor trembling soul nearer to his Captain, whose broad
shield affords ample protection. And we are not to
suppose that we are not often led astray by the entice-
ments of sin within us, without the aid of Satan ; but
we need not be afraid of charging too much evil upon
this arch adversary. He is ever on the alert, and is
exceedingly cautious in his approaches. Long expe-
rience has doubtless greatly increased his power and
subtlety, unless he should be more restrained than for-
merly. Some people make a mock of Satan's tempta-
tions, as though they were the dreams of superstitious
souls. Not so Paul, and Peter, and John — not so Lu-
ther, and Calvin, and Zuingle. Not so any who un-
derstand the nature of the spiritual warfare. It is to
the great injury of many professors, that they are not
constantly on the watch against the wiles of the devil.
If you wish to know where he will be likely to meet
you, I would say, in your closet, in the church, on your
bed, and in your daily intercourse with men. A single
thought which suddenly starts up in your mind, will
show that the enemy is near, and is suggesting such
thoughts, as without his agency never can be account-
ed for. "Watch, therefore," " resist the devil, and he
will flee from you."

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 167

CHAPTER XL

Narrative of G A S , an Episcopal Clergyman. — Narra-
tive of a young Officer in the Army.

The following is the religious experience of G

A S , an Episcopal Clergyman in H-

which he recently communicated to the author of these
essays, to be used as he might think proper.

" I entered the military academy at West Point, in
the summer of 1825; the second year of the present
Bishop Mcllvaine's residence there as chaplain. I
sat under his preaching * as with the Spirit of God/
Avith eyes that did not see, and ears that did not hear.
The chaplain departed, the curse was still upon my
soul. Finally, I became much involved in the spirit
of infidelity, together with several others. One even-
ing, in particular, I trembled at the thoughts of our
conversation : in the darkness of our minds, we had
denied all. A few days afterwards, one of my com-
panions, noted for his brightness of intellect, called at
my room, and said, I have been reading Alexander's
i Evidences of the Christian Religion/ and it has almost
persuaded me to be a Christian. I well remember
with what great delight I received the communica-
tion, resolving to get the book, and < see if those things
were so ;' not however, with any view or desire of
becoming a Christian at present. In due time, the
book was procured, I retired to my room, my heart as
hard as the mill-stone, the heavens over my head as
brass, and the earth beneath my feet as iron. I
opened to the introduction, the most blind of unbe-
lievers; all around me was perfect clouds and dark-
ness. I began to read, I had proceeded half way
through the introduction, and was suddenly im-
pressed that the religion of Christ teas of God. I
did not doubt its truth, more than I did my life : yet I
was entirely without argument. At that time I could
have given no reason, yet I did not doubt. I felt
a perfect belief that an Omnipotent Spirit did it.

168 THOUGHTS ON

Before, I hardly believed there was a God : now I felt
it as by a two-edged sword. It was a most awfully
sublime moment; yet I had not the least fear. I did
not even think of sin. The next impression was,
that I was undergoing a conversion. This, I would
not then : the thought was very pleasant, that now I
knew Christ died for the world; and that at some
future time, I would go further in his love. I was
happy, sublime ; no terror ; a thought did not enter my
mind of the consequence of delay. To avoid the
progress of conversion, I threw down the book per-
fectly satisfied, for I had attained to one of the most
splendid pieces of consciousness imaginable ; a sight
beyond the veil, within eternity, worth thousands of
worlds to me. I turned to think of something else.
And oh ! the horrors of hell, how they came flooding
in upon my soul. I felt that an Omnipotent hand
was guiding them there. Commensurate with my
agony, was my awful sense of sinfulness ; a convic-
tion of sin, righteousness, and judgment to come, rose
before my eyes in immense reality. I felt no anguish,
no fear, no sin, until /resolved not to attend to these
things at present. My anguish of soul became in-
supportable, it thickened and darkened, I could not
endure it longer. And with the sole view of escaping
my present misery, I resolved to yield to the will of
that Mighty Being who was rending my soul. I in-
stantly caught up the book, and offered a prayer for
mercy. The intensity of my anguish began immedi-
ately to subside. The wrath of God seemed to miti-
gate, in a few moments, I settled down into a state of
deep and solemn conviction of sin ; a state more tolera-
ble than the former ; but still one of gloom so thick
that it could be felt. A mountain weight pressed
upon my soul; how to remove it I knew not, for the
spirit still held me bound. I did not know but this
was to continue through life. I endeavoured to lose
my feelings, and feel at ease, but I could not. I knew
nothing of the way of salvation ; I had no spiritual
guide ; but in order to keep my present sorrow as
light as possible, I continued to read and pray for

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 169

mercy. Thus I continued in the wilderness for about
a week : when, sitting by my fireside, dwelling upon
my despair, a sudden light came down from heaven ;
I saw the open gate — ' the ivay, the truth, and the
life9 — a new song was put into my mouth, and I re-
joiced with joy unspeakable, and full of glory ! Un-
speakable gratitude be to the Father, Son, and Holy
Ghost, for ever and ever. I have thought that two
particulars in the above are worthy of notice. 1st.
The motives that actuated me. 2d. That being per-
fectly ignorant of the way of salvation, the Spirit was
a perfect teacher."

There are several things very remarkable in the
preceding narrative. The delight at finding an infidel
companion convinced, or almost convinced of his
error ; the desire to see the book which had produced
this effect ; the sudden persuasion of the truth of the
Christian religion, by a sudden impression on the mind ;
the elevated happiness experienced on account of hav-
ing discovered the truth; the determination still not
to become a Christian at present ; the horror and an-
guish consequent on this resolution ; the relief obtained
by resuming attention to religion ; and finally, the
discovery of the way of salvation through Christ,
when the moment before, no idea was entertained of
such a way, are all remarkable circumstances ; and to
some, may seem to savour of enthusiasm. But we
cannot prescribe limits to the Holy Spirit, in his ways
of leading benighted souls into the path of life. Still,
it may be asked, how could there be a rational convic-
tion of the truth of Christianity, when the individual
knew no reasons or arguments in favour of it? To
which it may be answered, that Christianity has a
light of its own, independent of all external evidences;
and if the Spirit of God cause one ray of this divine
light to irradiate the mind, the truth becomes mani-
fest. This person was on the borders of atheism.
By an awful impression on his mind, God caused
him to feel and know that He existed, and held him
in his hand ; and at the same time, let a ray of light
from Divine Revelation into his mind. Suppose a

15

170 THOUGHTS ON

number of human beings to be educated in a dark
cavern, where they never saw the light of heaven ;
but being visited by one and another who testified
to them the existence of the celestial luminaries, the
candid among them, upon weighing the evidence,
would acknowledge the existence of such bodies ;
although, of necessity, their conceptions of these
objects would be very inadequate. But some, de-
pending on their own reason, might reject the testi-
mony as a mere fabrication, since what was related
was totally contrary to all their own experience. Sup-
pose then that the guardian of these subterranean
inhabitants, should take one of these skeptics to a
point where a single ray of light from the sun should
be let in upon his eyes, how wonderful the sensation,
how sublime the emotion, how strong now the per-
suasion of the existence of such a bright luminary !
The doubts of such an one, however deep and invet-
erate, would be dissipated in a moment; not by
argument: where we possess intuition, argument is
superfluous. So, in the case before us, one ray of
divine light produced instantaneously the undoubted
persuasion of the divine existence, and that the Chris-
tian religion was from God. The next ray of light
opened to the astonished view of the man, the awful
sinfulness of his character, and discovered to him that
he was in the hands of an angry God, from whose
terrors he could not escape ; and the third cast a clear
light on the way of salvation, filling the soul with
joy unspeakable. The only thing which seems con-
trary to our common theory is, that the person sup-
posed that he was taught the method of salvation by
the Spirit, without any aid from the external teaching
of the word. Now, this is very possible ; but it would
be of the nature of inspiration and not mere {Hu-
miliation. I am, therefore, of opinion, that there was
within the knowledge of the individual so much ac-
quaintance with Christ and his mediatorial work, that,
agreeably to his usual method, the Spirit took of
the things of Christ, and showed it unto him. And
although now, when inspiration has ceased, the Spirit

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 171

makes no new revelations to men ; yet he often brings
to their remembrance truths once known, but which
may have been long forgotten ; according to John
xiv. 26 : see also xvi. 8 — 14. One single evangelical
text may be made the object of saving faith.

It is exceedingly gratifying to be made acquainted
with such cases. It shows that the Holy Spirit, who
operates where and when he will, is often at work
on the minds of those whom we would least sus-
pect to be thus visited. Here a thoughtless cadet at
our Military Academy, falls into infidelity, yea, athe-
ism ; is surrounded by companions in the same state
of mind. Providence throws a book of " Evidences"
in his way; and, while he reads, a new light darts
into his mind; not from the book, but from the Father
of lights, and this infidel young man becomes a preach-
er of that very gospel, which he aimed to destroy.
Laus Deo. To God be all the glory !

The writer of the following narrative, is a young
officer of high promise, belonging to the American
army. It is a pleasing thing to find that men, who,
by their profession, are commonly far removed from
the usual means of grace, are not beyond the reach of
the divine mercy. It is much to be desired that both
our army and navy should be supplied with a com-
petent number of pious and exemplary chaplains ; but
this want seems to be very little felt, and therefore is
very imperfectly provided for. When men of either of
these professions embrace religion, they are commonly
remarkable for the eminence of their piety. The fact
is, that they are exposed to so much ridicule and op-
position, that unless their religious impressions were
strong, and their resolutions firmly fixed, they would not
be able to stand up against the opposing current.

This narrative will at least encourage the hearts of
pious parents, who have sons in exposed situations,
not to despair of their conversion, but to be incessant
in their prayers, that God would graciously follow
them with the strivings of his Holy Spirit, and in due
season bring them to the foot of the cross. And may
it not be a good opportunity to remind all praying

172 THOUGHTS ON

persons, that in the variety of their intercessions, the
young men in our army and navy should not be for-
gotten ? As long as such institutions are needed, they
who are set for the defence of our country, by sea and
land, should not be forgotten in the prayers of Chris-
tians and of the Church.

" I entered the Military Academy in 1828. As was
customary with my parents, I was furnished with a
Bible, with the injunction to read it often, and make it
the rule of my life. Like most other youths, however,
I kept it in my trunk ; and I blush while I say it, I do
not believe that during the whole time I was there, four
years, I took it out to read more than six times ; and
then, probably, I had a desire to, if I did not actually,
conceal the act from my room-mates around me. How
strange the aversion to that good Book, and yet how
general this antipathy in the thoughtless around us !
I must confess, however, that though my aversion to
it was strong, I had a firm belief in its truth, and
though in such a body of young men, I could not, but
now and then, hear an effort on the part of one or
another around me, to convince himself of its untruth,
yet, I must say, that I never could get rid of the fear
of God in my heart, or of the firm conviction of the
truth of His word. Still, however, I graduated an im-
penitent sinner; and being let loose from scholastic
restraint, and left to my own guidance, like most other
youths under the same circumstances, I followed the
ways of pleasure and worldly gratification.

"After graduating, in 1832, I went home. But,
alas, how changed ! My father and brother had both
gone during my absence, to that bourne from which
no traveller returns. Their spirits had fled — it is
hoped to heaven. I did not see them in their dying
hours; but their spirits, though gone, still spake. I
was told of the anxiety they both expressed, just
before death, on my account ; and in particular the
reply of my father, to the question asked him, if he
had any word to send to me : ' No, only to read my
letters/ was his reply. Yes, father, I have read
those letters, and long shall they be treasured up in

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 173

recollection of thy solicitude. But I must continue
my narrative. Though the scenes at home, this visit,
were impressive, yet they did not result in producing
within me the conviction that I was a sinner. I left
my home again as impenitent as I had come. This
time my sister furnished me with a Bible, with the
prayer written in it, that I 'would make it the rule of
my conduct and the guide of my life/ As before, I
stowed it away in my trunk ; thence scarcely, if ever
at all, to come out. Probably for years together, I
did not so much as look into it, and during all this
time, except when at home, I was as much a stranger
to the church, as I was to the Bible. Indeed, what
is more shameful, in 1836, I, in some unaccountable
way lost my Bible; so that, from that time till the
latter part of the year 1838, or during an interval of
two years, I was entirely without one : and during
all this time, besides having no Bible, (I did not
dream of buying one,) I was so situated, at least for
much the greater portion of the time, that I could not
have access to any church. I was serving with the
army, against the Indians at the South, and every
one knows how ill calculated an active life in the
field is to produce serious impressions. Still, I may
say, during all this time I had the fear of God before
my eyes ; though not to the extent as to cause me to
love and serve Him, or to cut off any of my darling
pleasures. And yet how good the Lord was ! Though
I went on sinning, day after day, and was often
thrown into discussion with infidels around me, who
strove their utmost to argue or laugh me out of what
they would call my early prejudices, and though I
indulged in reading infidel productions, Tom Paine's
work among the number, yet still His Spirit would
strive with me, and would not give me entirely over to
my own devices.

" I returned North in the fall of 1838, and again saw
my widowed mother; her who had nurtured me with
a Christian's care, and who had early instilled into me
those religious principles and feelings, which, by the
grace of God, had never been entirelv lost to me, and

15*

174 THOUGHTS ON

to which under the same spiritual influence, I must at-
tribute my having been kept from utterly falling away.
I saw her again, exhibiting as before, the chastening
influences of the religion she professed. The same
calm and resigned countenance ; the same sweet smile
of welcome, still showed the powerful influence of the
Holy Spirit upon her heart. I thought I could see the
workings of her feelings in my behalf; and I could not
but imagine that in every look she gave me, she offer-
ed up a prayer on my account.

" I left her for a station North. I may say I went
away this time with better feelings than I ever did be-
fore. I had had, by this time, some experience of the
world, and had already thought of the nothingness of
its pleasures ; and, besides, the calm, peaceful, and
happy deportment of my mother, made me anxious to
become a partaker also of religion. I went away with
the firm determination of at least looking more into the
Bible, and of thus taking the first step towards making
myself better. Another sister, this time, on my
leaving her, presented me with a Testament. This,
when I got to my station, I read, or attempted to
read, every evening. I tasked myself to one chapter.
But a late return from a party, or ball, would cause
me to defer it till the morning ; and then if the break-
fast bell should arouse me from my slumbers, I would
neglect it till the evening. And so, between the par-
ties and balls, and indolence in the morning, my
reading of the Testament was very irregular. But
still, I had a great respect for religion, and admired
the truths of the gospel. I would always uphold
good principles of conduct in those around me, and
would as often reprobate those that were bad. But
all my ideas of virtue were founded on a wrong basis.
I believed that it was in the power of every indivi-
dual, of himself, to do good and eschew evil. And,
therefore, when I did see good principles in those
around me, my admiration was upon the individual
himself and not upon the Holy Spirit which restrained
him ; and when I saw wickedness in those around
me, my condemnation, (and my self-righteousness

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 175

could not make it too strong,) was upon the individual,
and not upon the sin which impelled him.

"But still, though I strongly criticised the conduct of
others, upholding the good and denouncing the bad ;
yet I felt that I was not a Christian, in the Bible sense
of the term. I knew this from my utter inability to
pray. On retiring, I had often attempted to realize
the overshadowing presence of a God above me ; but
all was hard, dark, and impenetrable. I could not
realize the existence of an all merciful Saviour. Dur-
ing all this time, I regularly attended divine service, at
least once a day, every Sunday. I was delighted to
either hear or read a good sermon. But I heard, or
read it, more with the feelings of a critic than of an
humble follower of the lowly Jesus, desiring the sin-
cere milk of the word. And so, whenever the preacher
expatiated upon the beauties of virtue, though I re-
ceived pleasure from his discourse, yet I had none of
the consciousness that virtue was to be followed be-
cause God had commanded it ; but because it seemed
to be a necessary element in society ; and, perhaps,
because its votary reciprocally recommended himself
to society, by its pursuit. I recollect, in particular, that
Dr. Chalmers's sermons afforded me great satisfaction.
But the beautiful imagery in them, as well as his ele-
gant diction, probably pleased me quite as much as the
truths he inculcated.

" Things went on in this way, for nearly a year,
when at the close of this time, I began to feel myself
strongly tempted by the evil one, though, at the time,
I did not attribute it to this unseen spirit. Probably,
it is better to say, (to use the language I would have
then used,) I was uneasy, discontented, looked at things
awry, extracted more of the bitter than the sweet from
the things and circumstances around me ; or, in other
words, was extremely miserable. I could experience
no joy from the things of earth, and of the joys of
heaven, I knew nothing.

" But thanks to a good and righteous God, he was
pleased to let me into this state, to show me that all
my hopes of happiness from earthly things were vain.

176 THOUGHTS ON

I was in the act of throwing myself on the settee,
when I carelessly took up the Bible, which happened
to be lying near me. The first chapter I opened at,
was the 1st Epistle general of Peter, chapter 1st. But
how shall I describe my feelings, the moment I cast
my eyes upon its pages ! My heart was melted into
deep contrition. I felt the love of God shed abroad in
my whole being. I was convinced that I had the
Holy Spirit at work within me. I was affected to
tears at his goodness. I wept like a child, I felt that
I had been a sinner. My ingratitude came like a flood
upon me. I was overcome with gratitude for his mer-
cy. It completely possessed my whole being. I re-
joiced in the thought, that though I had been a wan-
derer from him, yet he was a good and kind Sa-
viour, and was ready to forgive me all the injuries
I had done him. I could indeed say, with deep con-
viction, as I read the passage which presented itself to
me: 'Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord
Jesus Christ, which, according to his abundant mercy,
hath begotten us again unto a lively hope, by the
resurrection of Jesus Christ, from the dead/ Indeed,
this whole chapter seemed to be perfectly adapted to
my state. I recollect, in particular, the eighth verse
was singularly pleasing to me. * Whom having not
seen, ye love ; in whom though now ye see him not,
yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable, and
full of glory/

" Another remarkable circumstance connected with
this display of divine goodness, was, the wonderful
acuteness of intellect I felt myself to have, in reading
the word of God. And not only could I perceive
things in the gospel that I never saw before, but I
felt my whole character changed. I felt not only a
strong love to God, but to every body around me. I
could have wept upon the bosom of my bitterest ene-
my. Oh ! the joys of that moment ! But, alas ! how
vain and impotent are the attempts of man, unless the
Holy Spirit of God remains with him. I recollect
very well, that I thought I would go and see the
minister, and tell him what had passed. But not

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 177

acting up to the suggestion immediately, I neglected it,
and soon again, sad to say, I had relapsed into my for-
mer forgetfulness of the Lord. The fear of the ridicule
of the world had been too strong for my faith, and I
felt, too, that I could not yet give up the world, and de-
clare myself on the Lord's side. But still he would not
let me go. He would not give me up. I was removed
shortly afterwards to another station, and here I can
see the all gracious design of Providence in this change.
I was by this means thrown into the society of several
pious officers. One in particular, whom I valued very
highly, and who, the very evening he conversed with
me upon the goodness of God, in twice leading him
back from signal relapses into sin, was seized with the
fever, that in five days carried him to his grave, was in
particular of great service to me, under the divine bless-
ing, in confirming me in my resolves to renounce the
world, and cleave unto the Lord ; and so indeed were
all the others. Suffice it to say, that not many months
after I came among them, I openly proclaimed myself
on the Lord's side, and sealed the covenant by partak-
ing of the emblems of his body and blood. And it is
an additional source of happiness for me to state, that
it was not long after, that the partner of my bosom
also renounced the world, and joined me in the race set
before us in the gospel.

" The foregoing narrative, I have thought would be
of some interest to you. But if it «rve no other pur-
pose than to show you how good the Lord has been to
me, it will answer its end."

CHAPTER XII.

The spiritual conflict. —Satan's Temptations. — Evil thoughts.— A case
in illustration.

We have spoken of the Christian's enemies, in the
general, it is now intended to enter into a more par tic-

178 THOUGHTS ON

ular view of the conflict which is experienced by the
pilgrim to Zion. Swarms of vain thoughts may be
reckoned among the first and most constant enemies
of the servant of God. The mind of man is like a
fountain which is continually sending forth streams.
There is not a moment of our waking time when the
rational soul is entirely quiescent. How it may be in
our sleeping hours, this is not the place to inquire —
as we are not in that state engaged in this warfare.
Perhaps, this is saying too much. I believe that sin
may be committed in sleep ; for there is often a deli-
berate choice of evil, after a struggle between a sense
of duty and an inclination to sin. And often the same
vain and impure thoughts, which were too much in-
dulged in waking hours, infest us when asleep, and
may find much readier entertainment than when we
have all our senses about us. It is difficult indeed, to
say when moral agency is suspended, so as to render
the person inculpable for his volitions; and many
know that they consent to temptations in sleep, when
they abhor the evil as soon as they are awake. And,
in other cases, inclination is indulged, where there is
not the least sense of the moral turpitude of the act.
But, in other cases, persons in sleep consent to sin
with a clear apprehension of the evil of the thing to
which they consent. Here, there must be some guilt ;
for, if there was not an evil nature, prone to iniquity,
such volitions woj^d not take place. Two things are
in our power, and these we should do: first, to avoid
evil thoughts and such pampering of the body as has
a tendency to pollute our dreams ; and, secondly, to
pray to God to preserve us from evil thoughts, even
in sleep. Particularly, we should pray to be deliv-
ered from the influence of Satan during our sleeping
hours. Mr. Andrew Baxter, in his work on the Soul,
is of opinion that dreams can in no way be accounted
for, but by the agency of other spirits acting on ours.
While I do not adopt this theory of dreaming, I am
inclined to believe, that, some how or other, both
good and evil spirits have access to our minds in sleep.
They actually seem to hold conversation with us, and

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 179

suggest things of which we had never thought before.
To return from this digression — it may be safely as-
serted that no human mind, in this world, is free from
the incursion of vain thoughts. The proportion of
such thoughts depends on the circumstances of the
individual, and the degree of spirituality and self-
government to which he has attained. The question
very naturally arises here, Is the mere occurrence of
vain or wicked thoughts sinful ? This is a nice ques-
tion in casuistry, and should not be answered incon-
siderately. It is said in Scripture, " the thought of
foolishness is sin ;" but by thought, in this place, we
should probably understand " intention." The wise
man would teach that sin may be committed in the
mind without any external act ; a doctrine abundantly
taught in other parts of Holy Writ. Or, Ave may
understand it to mean that, when thoughts of evil are
entertained and cherished in the mind, there is sin.
But as our thoughts are often entirely involuntary,
arising from we know not what causes, it cannot be
that every conception of a thing wrong is itself sinful.
If I conceive of another person stealing, or murder-
ing, or committing adultery, if my mind abhors the
deed, the mind is not thereby polluted. Thoughts
may not in themselves be sinful, and yet they may
become so, if they fill and occupy the mind to the
exclusion of better thoughts. Ideas of present scenes
and passing transactions, are not, in themselves, sin-
ful, because necessary, and often required by the
duties which we have to perform ; but if the current
of these thoughts is so continuous that they leave no
room for spiritual meditations, they become sinful by
their excess. Again, as every Christian has set times
for prayer and other devotional exercises; if the mind,
on such occasions, wanders off from the contemplation
of those objects, which should occupy it, such forget-
fulness of God's presence, and vain wandering of the
thoughts, are evidently sinful. And here is an arena on
which many a severe conflict has been undergone,
and where, alas ! many overthrows have been expe-
rienced by the sincere worshipper of God. How our

180 THOUGHTS ON

perfectionists dispose of this matter, and what their
professed experience is, I know not. I suppose, how-
ever, that they are, at best, no more exempt from
wandering thoughts than other Christians ; and if so,
they must practise a double hypocrisy, first, in persuad-
ing themselves that there is no sin in all this; and,
secondly, in denying, or concealing from others, their
real experience on this subject. But is it not true,
that from the very laws of association of ideas, there
will often be an involuntary wandering of the thoughts ?
This is admitted ; and it is conceded, also, that it may
be impossible, in all cases, to determine with precision
which of our straying thoughts contracts guilt, and how
much blame attaches to us, when our thoughts sud-
denly start aside from the mark like a deceitful bow.
There are,, however, some plain principles which
so-und casuistry can establish. If, when the thoughts
thus start aside, they are not immediately recalled,
then there is sin ; for the mind has this power over
its thoughts, and, when it is not exercised, it argues
negligence, or something worse. Again, if this devi-
ation of our thoughts would have been prevented
by a solemn sense of the divine presence and omni-
science, then it is sinful ; for such impressions should
accompany us to the throne of grace. And, finally,
if the true reason of these erratic trains of thought,
at such seasons, is owing to a secret aversion to spi-
ritual things, and a preference, at the moment, to
some carnal or selfish indulgence — then, indeed, there
is not only sin, but sin of enormous guilt. It is the
direct acting of enmity against God. There are many,
it is to be feared, who take little or no account of
their thoughts; and who, if they run through the
external round of duties, feel satisfied. Multitudes
are willing to be religious and even punctilious in
duty, if no demand is made upon them for fixedness
of attention, and fervency and elevation of affection.
The carnal mind hates nothing so much as a spiritual
approach to God, and the remainders of this enmity,
in the pious, are the very " law in their members,
which wars against the law of the mind." This is

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 181

the very core of their inbred sin, from which all evil
thoughts proceed, on account of which they need to
be humbled in the dust, every day that they live.
There is much reason to fear, however, that many who
appear to be serious Christians, are not at all in the
habit of watching their thoughts, and ascertaining the
evil that is in them. I knew a person, nearly half a
century ago, who, being greatly troubled with wan-
dering thoughts in times of devotion, was solicitous
to know whether any other person was troubled in
the same way, and to the same degree, with such
swarms of vain thoughts. He carefully wrote down
what he experienced in this way, and then took it to
two serious professors, of whose piety he had a good
opinion, and, without intimating that it was his own
experience, inquired whether they were acquainted
with any thing like this. They both acknowledged
that they were often interrupted with wandering
thoughts in prayer; but, in the degree described in
the paper, they were not, and could not believe that
any real Christian was. There may be, and no doubt
is, a constitutional difference among men in regard to
this matter. In some minds the links of association
are so strong, that, when a particular idea is suggested,
the whole train must come along, and thus the object
previously before the mind is lost sight of, and will
not be recovered without a resolute effort.

An old writer says, " what busy flies were to the
sacrifices on the altar, such are vain thoughts to our
holy services; their continued buzzing disturbs the
mind and distracts its devotion." St. Bernard com-
plained much of these crowds of vain thoughts. He
said — " Introeunt et exeunt/' they pass and repass,
come in and go out, and will not be controlled.
"Amovere volo, nee valeo," I would fain remove
them, but cannot. This is in perfect accordance with
Paul's experience, " when I would do good, evil is
present with me." And Chrysostom says, "that
nothing is more dreadful to the godly than sin. This
is death— this is hell" Therefore, though nothing
amiss be discerned by man, yet is he afflicted, deeply

16

182 THOUGHTS ON

afflicted on account of his rebellious thoughts, which
being in the secret closet of the heart, can only appear
unto God.

The old writer, before mentioned, introduces a
struggling soul, mourning on this account. " 0 the
perplexing trouble of my distracting thoughts ! How
do they continually disturb the quiet of my mind, and
make my holy duties become a weariness of my soul !
They cool the heart, they damp the vigour, they
deaden the comfort of my devotions. Even when I
pray God to forgive my sins, I then sin whilst I am
praying for forgiveness ; yea, whether it be in the
church, or in the closet, so frequently and so violently
do these thoughts withdraw my heart from God's
service, that I cannot have confidence he hears my
suit, because I know by experience, I do not hear
myself; surely therefore God must need be far off
from my prayer, whilst my heart is so far out of his
presence, hurried away with a crowd of vain imagina-
tions." To whom he applies the following conso-
lations: "1. These vain thoughts, being thy burden,
shall not be thy ruin ; and though they do take from
the sweetness, they shall not take from the sincerity
of thy devotions. 2. It. is no little glory which we
give to God in the acknowledgment of his omnipres-
ence and omniscience, that we acknowledge Him to
be privy to the first risings of our most inward,
thoughts. 3. It is much the experience of God's
children, even the devoutest saints, that their thoughts
of God and of Christ, of heaven and holiness, are very
unsteady and fleeting. Like the sight of a star through
an optic glass, held by a palsied hand, such is our
view of divine objects. 4. Know thou hast the
gracious mediation of an all-sufficient Saviour to
supply thy defects, and procure an acceptance of thy
sincere though imperfect devotions. 5. As thou hast
the gracious mediation of an all-sufficient Saviour to
supply thy defects, so hast thou the strengthening
power of his Holy Spirit to help thy infirmities;
which strength is made perfect in weakness. — When
thou art emptied it shall fill thee ; when thou art stum-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 183

bled, it shall raise thee. The experience of God's saints
will tell thee, that they have long languished under this
cross of vain thoughts : yet, after long conflict, have
obtained a joyful conquest, and from mourning doves
have become mounting eagles."

The conflict with vain and wandering thoughts is
common to all Christians, and is the subject of their
frequent and deep lamentations: but there are other
conflicts, which seem to be peculiar to some of God's
children, or are experienced in a much greater degree
by some than others. These arise from horribly
wicked thoughts, blasphemous, atheistical, or abomi-
nably impure, which are injected with a power which
the soul cannot resist, and sometimes continue to rise
in such thick succession, that the mind can scarcely
be said to be ever entirely free from them. I have
known persons of consistent piety and sound intellect,
who have been infested with the continual incursion
of such thoughts, for weeks and months together : so
that they had no rest during their waking hours ; and
even their sleep was disturbed with frightful dreams ;
and whilst thus harassed, they had no composure to
attend on religious duties ; but when they attempted
to pray, Satan was present with his terrific sugges-
tions ; and when they presented themselves with God's
people, in his house, they found no comfort there ; for
the thought was continually introduced into their
minds, that there was no truth in the Bible, or any of
its doctrines. And it is wonderful what new and un-
thought of forms of blasphemy and infidelity do, in
such cases, arise; so that the ideas which occupy their
minds are often inexpressible, and indeed not fit to be
expressed, in words. These may emphatically be
called "the fiery darts of the wicked one." They
may be compared to balls or brands of fire cast into a
house full of combustibles. The object of the enemy,
by such assaults, is, to perplex and harass the child of
God, and to drive him to despair ; and as many, who
are thus tempted, are ignorant of Satan's devices, and
of the "depths" of his subtlety, and charge upon them-
selves the fault of all these wicked thoughts, the effect

184 THOUGHTS ON

aimed at does actually take place. The tempted,
harassed soul is not only distressed above measure,
but, for a season, is actually cast down to the borders
of despair. We know of no affliction, in this life,
which is more intolerable than such a state of tempta-
tion, when continued long. It, no doubt, is true, that
there are certain states of the physical system which
favour the effect of these temptations; but this does
not prove that these thoughts do not proceed from
Satan. This arch-fiend is deeply versed in the physi-
ology of human nature; and wherever he discovers a
weak point, there he makes his assault. The melan-
cholic, and persons wasted and weakened with exces-
sive grief, are peculiarly susceptible of injury from
such temptations; as is that class of doubting, mourn-
ing Christians, who are for ever disposed to look on
the dark side of the picture ; and who are wont " to
write bitter things against themselves." On unin-
structed minds, the effect often is to induce the belief
that they have sinned the sin unto death, by blasphem-
ing the Holy Ghost ; or, that they have sinned beyond
the reach of mercy, and that God has abandoned them
to be a prey to sin and Satan. But it is not upon igno-
rant, weak, and diseased persons only that these furious
assaults are made ; such a man as Luther, was in fre-
quent conflicts of this kind ; and he was so persuaded
that these were the temptations of the devil, that he
speaks of his presence with as much confidence as if he
had seen him by his side.

A friend of the writer, who is yet alive, was for
months so harassed by these fiery darts of the wicked
one, that I never saw any human being in a more
pitiable condition of extreme suffering ; and although
there was no intermission, during his waking hours,
there were seasons when these blasphemous sugges-
tions were injected with peculiar and terrifying vio-
lence. Knowing this person to be discreet, as well as
pious, I requested, by letter, some account of this
dreadful state of mind, if there was a freedom to
make the communication. In answer, I received re-
cently, a letter, from which the following is an ex-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 185

tract: "I feel a singular reluctance to speak of my
religious experience. I have felt that my case was a
very remarkable one. I have thought, at times, that
no one could recount a similar experience. It has
appeared to me so uncommon, that I have refrained
from disclosing the peculiar exercises of my mind to
the most intimate friend. I know not that I ever
opened to you my case, with the exception of that
distressing point to which you refer, and even then I
think I was not very particular. That was a season
far more distressing than any I ever experienced —
c I well remember mine afflictions and my misery ; the
wormwood and the gall.' My deliverance from it
was an unspeakable mercy. I have no doubt that
the state of my health had some connexion with the
mental sufferings I then endured. My constitution,
which had always been feeble, had given to my dis-
position a proneness to melancholy ; and in my be-
reaved and desolate state I was peculiarly susceptible
of gloomy impressions. My nervous system was deep-
ly affected. Sleep at one time forsook my pillow for
successive nights. It was under these circumstances
that I sunk into the darkness and distress which you
witnessed. In all this there was nothing very remark-
able. I think very many can record a similar expe-
rience. It was not the fact that in a feeble state of
health I was dark and comfortless in spirit, that has
so much tried me, but the peculiarity of my case
seemed to consist in the nature of my spiritual con-
flicts. You may, perhaps, recollect that I stated to
you that my chief distress arose from blasphemous
suggestions — unnatural, monstrous, and horrid,
which seemed to fill my mind, and hurry away my
thoughts, with a force as irresistible as a whirlwind.
I strove against them — I prayed against them ; but it
was all in vain. The more I strove, the more they
prevailed. The very effort to banish them appeared
to detain them. My soul all this while was wrapped
in midnight darkness, and tossed like the ocean in a
storm. It seemed to me as if I was delivered over to
the powers of darkness, and that to aggravate my

16*

186 THOUGHTS ON

wretchedness, some strange and awfully impious asso-
ciation would be suggested by almost every object
that met my eye. You ask me to describe my delive-
rance. It was gradual. A return of domestic com-
forts, a restoration of health, and an occupation of
the mind with duty, were the means which God
was pleased to bless to the removal of this distress-
ing experience. For twelve or thirteen years I have
had no return of this state of mind, except to a par-
tial extent ; yet I have, at times, been greatly harassed
with these fiery darts of the wicked one, which I
can truly say, are my sorest affliction. I have always
remarked, that these painful exercises of mind have
attended seasons of special examination and prayer.
When I have thought most of my obligation to God,
and endeavoured to meditate most on divine things,
then it has been, that my mind has suffered most
from the intrusion of thoughts, at which my soul is
filled with anguish, and from which I desire deliver-
ance more than from death. This fact is mysterious
to me. I cannot but think I love God. I am sure I
do desire an entire consecration to Christ. It is my
daily prayer to attain holiness. I esteem the way of
salvation glorious; and justification through the alone
righteousness of Christ is a precious doctrine. But did
ever any Christian experience such trials, is a question
which I am ready often to ask. I know of no unin-
spired writer that has come nearer a description of
what I have experienced than John Bunyari and John
Newton. The hymn of the latter, commencing with
' I asked the Lord that I might grow/ &c, contains
many thoughts remarkably accordant with my expe-
rience.

" You see, I have nothing to relate, that is instruc-
tive or cheering — and yet I sometimes feel thankful
for the terrible conflicts which I endure, for there is
nothing which so constantly drives me to a throne of
grace — nothing that strips me so entirely of self-
dependence, and creates within me such longing after
holiness. I am much inclined to think that Satan is far
less dangerous when he comes as 'a roaring lion/ and

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 187

frightens the soul with his horrid blasphemies, than
when 'he transforms himself into an angel of light/
and seduces our affections gradually and secretly
away from God, and attaches them sinfully to the
world.

" P. S. — The most discouraging fact in all my ex-
perience has been, what I have already alluded to —
the rushing in of a tide of unutterably impious thoughts
or imaginations, at a time when I have sought the
most elevated and glorious views of God, breaking up
my peace and comfort, when I have tried to fix my
mind most intently on spiritual objects. Is the onset
of the enemy to drive one from a close communion
with God ? or is it to be traced to a law of association
recalling past experiences ?

" If I had more confidence in my religious experi-
ence I think I could suggest many thoughts that might
be useful to Christians under temptation ; and espe^
cially, when suffering under certain physical disor-
ders. One thing, I am free to say, useful occupa-
tion is essential to the restoration and peace of some
minds."

Many other eminent servants of God have expe-
rienced, in various forms, the same conflicts with the
great adversary: and when we describe these temp-
tations as not unfrequent in the experience of the
children of God, we do not speak without authority.
Paul says, " For we wrestle not against flesh and
blood, but against principalities, against powers,
against the rulers of the darkness of this world,
against spiritual wickedness in high places." From
this passage, it is evident, that our spiritual foes are
numerous, and powerful, and that the believer's con-
flict with them is violent : it is a " wrestling," or a
contention which requires them to put forth all their
strength, and to exercise all their skill. Therefore, it
was, that the apostle, who was himself engaged in
this conflict, urges it upon Christians to put on the
panoply of God. Against such enemies, armour,
offensive and defensive, is requisite. And blessed be
God, there is a magazine, from which such armour

188 THOUGHTS ON

may be drawn. Hear Paul's enumeration of the sev-
eral parts of this panoply: "The girdle of truth,
the breast-plate of righteousness, — sandals of gospel
peace, — the shield of faith." This he places highest,
as being an indispensable defence against "the fiery
darts of the wicked" — "the helmet of salvation,"
" the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
To all which must be added prayer and watchful-
ness. As one of God's methods of comforting and
strengthening his mourning children is by good
books, I will embrace this opportunity of recommend-
ing to those engaged in the spiritual warfare, " Gur-
nall's Christian Armour." In such cases, there is
almost a necessity of referring to old authors ; for,
some how or other, our modern sermons and tracts
touch but seldom on these things, which filled so many
of the pages of our fathers.

The soul struggling with the intrusion of wicked
thoughts may be supposed to express its feelings in
language like the following: "0 my wretchedly wick-
ed heart, which is the fountain from which proceed
such streams of abominable thoughts ! Sure if I had
ever been washed in the fountain of Christ's blood,
or at all purified by his Spirit, so foul a corruption
could never cleave unto my soul. Wo is me ! for so
far am I from being a holy temple of the Lord, that
my heart rather seems to be the cage of every un-
clean bird, and even a den of devils. The flames of
hell seem to flash in my face, and the amazing ter-
rors of cursed blasphemies torture my soul and wound
my conscience even unto death. I would rather
choose to die ten thousand deaths than undergo the
fears, and frights, and bitter pangs of my amazing
thoughts and dreadful imaginations. In every place,
in every action — in the church and in the closet — in
my meditations and in my prayers, these abominable
and tormenting thoughts follow and harass me ; so
that I loathe myself and am a burden to myself. < 0
wretched man, that I am, who shall deliver me from
the body of this death!' Alas! I perish! whilst
ashamed to speak what I abhor to think, I must

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 189

needs despair of a cure, not knowing how to lay open
my sore."

To a complaint of this kind, the pious Robert Mos-
som, addresses the following grounds of consolation :

1. "The horrid blasphemies which affright thy soul,
though they are thy thoughts, yet are they Satan's
suggestions ; and not having the consent of thy will,
they bring no guilt upon thy conscience. It is agree-
able to the truth of God's word, and the judgment of
all divines, ancient and modern, that where the will
yields no consent, there the soul may suffer temptation,
but act no sin. Again, < The importunity and frequency
of these suggestions which weary the soul, resisting,
shall bring a greater crown of glory in its overcoming/
True it is, that, <he that is born of God, keepeth him-
self, and that wicked one toucheth him not.' But how
toucheth him not ? Is it meant of wicked temptations ?
No, sure, but of wilful transgressions. He toucheth
him not so as to leave the impress of sin and guilt
upon the soul. It is no sin to be tempted ; for Christ
our Lord and Saviour, was tempted, < but without sin.'
To admit the temptation with allowance or delight,
that is sin.

2. " That these foul and frightful suggestions have
not the consent of thy will appears by this, that thou
hast a loathing and abhorring of them ; which speaks
the greatest aversion, and so is far from a consenting
of the will. What is forcibly cast into the mind can-
not be said to be received with our consent. It is out
of our power to prevent Satan from suggesting evil
thoughts. These arise not from thy own corrupt na-
ture : they are brats laid at thy door, not thine own
lawful children. These are the buffetings of Satan.
Paul had ' a messenger of Satan to buffet him,' which
was as a f thorn in his flesh/ constantly pricking and
keeping him uneasy, and tempting him to impatience ;
and he prayed earnestly and repeatedly to be deliv-
ered from this cross, but his request was not granted ;
yet he received an answer more gracious and bene-
ficial than the removal of the thorn would have been;

190 THOUGHTS ON

for God said unto him, <My grace is sufficient for
thee.' »

The heart assailed by Satan, is like a city besieged,
within which there lie concealed many traitors, who,
as far as they dare, will give encouragement and aid to
the enemy without. And this creates the chief diffi-
culty in the case of many temptations ; for although
there is not a full consent, or a prevailing willingness,
yet there is something which too much concurs with
the temptation ; except in shocking blasphemies,
which fill the soul with terror. The soul afflicted
with these temptations is apt to think its case singu-
lar. It is ready to exclaim, " Never were any of God's
children in this condition. It must be some strange
corruption which induces the enemy thus to assault
me, and some awful displeasure of God towards me,
which makes him permit such a temptation." To
which it may be replied, "Afflictions, of this kind,
are no new thing ; and that with the real children of .
God. Such cases are not uncommon, in every age,
and occur in the pastoral experience of every faithful
minister. Some persons have, for years, been so afflic-
ted with these temptations, that they have pined away
and have been brought near the gates of death; and
these, too, persons of no ordinary piety. Take then
the following directions: 1. Learn to discriminate be-
tween the temptations and the sin of temptation. 2.
Examine with care, what transgressions may have
occasioned this sore affliction. 3. Humble yourself
before God with fasting and prayer, and supplicate
the throne of grace to obtain the mercy of God
through the merits of thy Saviour, for the full and
free pardon of whatever sin has occasioned these
temptations ; beseeching God to rebuke Satan ; and
then make an unreserved resignation of thyself into
the hands of Jesus, the Great Shepherd of the
flock, that he may keep thee as a tender lamb, from
the paw and teeth of the roaring lion. 4. If still these
thoughts intrude, turn thy mind quickly away from
them ; they are most effectually subdued by neglect.
5. "0 thou afflicted, tossed with tempests and not

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 191

comforted," do as children with their parents when
they see any thing frightful : they cling closer and
hold faster. So do thou with thy God and Saviour.
Satan's aim is to drive thee from God into some des-
perate conclusions, or into some ruinous act ; but thou
mayest disappoint this subtle adversary, by running
to Christ as thy refuge, and cleaving to him with
humble, believing confidence ; and when Satan sees
this, he will soon cease from the violence of his temp-
tations. And when the devil hath left thee, angels
will come and minister unto thee ; especially the angel
or the covenant, Christ Jesus. He shall rejoice thy
soul with the quickening graces and cheering comforts
of his Spirit.

CHAPTER XIII.

Growth in grace. — Signs of it— Practical directions how to grow in
grace. — Hinderances to it.

When there is no growth, there is no life. We have
taken it for granted, that among the regenerate, at
the moment of their conversion, there is a difference
in the vigour of the principle of spiritual life, analo-
gous to what we observe in the natural world; and
no doubt the analogy holds, as it relates to growth. As
some children, who were weak and sickly in the first
days of their existence, become healthy and strong,
and greatly outgrow others who commenced life with
far greater advantages ; so it is with the " new man ;"
some who enter on the spiritual life with a weak and
wavering faith, by the blessing of God on a diligent
use of means, far outstrip others who, in the begin-
ning, were greatly before them.

It is often observed, that there are professors who
never appear to grow, but rather decline perpetually,
until they become, in spirit and conduct, entirely con-
formed to the world, from whence they professed to

192 THOUGHTS ON

come out. The result, in regard to them, is one of
two things ; they either retain their standing in the
Church, and become dead formalists, " having a name
to live while they are dead ;" " a form of godliness,
while they deny the power thereof;" or they re-
nounce their profession and abandon their connexion
with the Church, and openly take their stand with the
enemies of Christ, and not unfrequently go beyond
them all in daring impiety. Of all such we may con-
fidently say, "they were not of us, or undoubtedly
they would have continued with us." But of such I
mean not now to speak further, as the case of back-
sliders will be considered hereafter.

That growth in grace is gradual and progressive is
very evident from Scripture; as in all those passages
where believers are exhorted to mortify sin and cru-
cify the flesh, and to increase and abound in all the
exercises of piety and good works. One text on this
subject will be sufficient: "Grow in grace and in the
knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ."
And this passage furnishes us with information of the
origin and nature of this growth. It is knowledge ;
even the knowlege of our Lord and Saviour Jesus
Christ. Just so far as any soul increases in spiritual
knowledge, in the same degree it grows in grace.
Persons may advance rapidly in other kinds of know-
ledge, and yet make no advances in piety; but the
contrary. They may even have their minds filled
with correct theoretical knowledge of divine truth;
and yet its effect may not be to humble, but to " puff
up." Many an accurate and profound theologian
has lived and died without a ray of saving light.
The natural man, however gifted with talent, or en-
riched with speculative knowledge, has no spiritual
discernment. After all his acquisitions, he is desti-
tute of the knowledge of Jesus Christ. But it should
not be forgotten, that divine illumination is not inde-
pendent of the word, but accompanies it. Those
Christians, therefore, who are most diligent in attend-
ing upon the word in public and private, will be most
likely to make progress in piety. Young converts are

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 193

prone to depend too much on joyful frames, and love
high excitement in their devotional exercises ; but
their heavenly Father cures them of this folly, by
leaving them for a season to walk in darkness, and
struggle with their own corruptions. When most
sorely pressed and discouraged, however, he strength-
ens them with might in the inner man. He enables
them to stand firmly against temptation ; or, if they
slide, he quickly restores them, and by such exercises
they become much more sensible of their entire de-
pendence, than they were at first. They learn to be
in the fear of the Lord all the day long, and to distrust
entirely their own wisdom and strength, and to rely
for all needed aid on the grace of Christ Jesus. Such
a soul will not readily believe that it is growing in
grace ; but to be emptied of self-dependence, and to
know that we need aid for every duty, and even for
every good thought, is an important step in our pro-
gress in piety. The flowers may have disappeared
from the plant of grace, and even the leaves may
have fallen off, and wintry blasts may have shaken it,
but it now is striking its roots deeper, and becoming
every day stronger, to endure the rugged storm. One
circumstance attends the growth of a real Christian,
in grace, which renders it exceedingly difficult for
him to know the fact, upon a superficial view of his
case, and that is, the clearer and deeper insight which
he obtains into the evils of his own heart. Now this
is one of the best evidences of growth; but the first
conclusion is apt to be, " I am growing worse every
day"—" I see innumerable evils springing up within
me which I never saw before." This person may be
compared to one shut up in a dark room, where he is
surrounded by many loathsome objects. If a single
ray of light be let into the room, he sees the more
prominent objects; but if the light gradually increase,
he sees more and more of the filth by which he has
been surrounded. It was there before, but he per-
ceived it not. His increased knowledge of the fact is
a sure evidence of increasing light. Hypocrites often
learn to talk by rote of the wickedness of their hearts;

17

194 THOUGHTS ON

but go to them and seriously accuse them of indulging
secret pride, or envy, or covetousness, or any other
heart sins, and they will be offended. Their confes-
sions of sin are only intended to raise them in the
opinion of others, as truly humble persons; and not
that any should believe that corruption abounds within
them. Growth in grace is evinced by a more habitual
vigilance against besetting sins and temptations, and
by greater self-denial, in regard to personal indulgence.
A growing conscientiousness in regard to what may
be called minor duties, is also a good sign. The
counterfeit of this is, a scrupulous conscience, which
sometimes haggles at the most innocent gratifications,
and has led some to hesitate about taking their daily
food. Increasing spiritual mindedness is a sure evi-
dence of progress in piety; and this will always be
accompanied by deadness to the world. Continued
aspirations to God, in the house and by the way, in
lying down and rising up, in company and in solitude,
indicate the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, by whose
agency all progress in sanctification is made. A vic-
tory over besetting sins by which the person was
frequently led away, shows an increased vigour in the
renewed principle. Increasing solicitude for the sal-
vation of men, and sorrow on account of their sinful
and miserable condition, and a disposition tenderly to
warn sinners of their danger, evince a growing state
of piety. It is also a strong evidence of growth in
grace, when you can bear injuries and provocations
with meekness, and when you can from the heart de-
sire the temporal and eternal welfare of your bitterest
enemies. An entire and confident reliance on the
promises and providence of God, however dark may
be your horizon, or however many difficulties environ
you, is a sign that you have learned to live by faith ;
and humble contentment with your condition, though
it be one of poverty and obscurity, shows that you
have profited by sitting at the feet of Jesus. Diligence
in the duties of our calling, with a view to the glory
of God, is not an evidence to be despised. Indeed,
there is no surer standard of spiritual growth, than a

KELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 195

habit of aiming at the glory of God in every thing.
That mind which is steady to the main end, gives as
good evidence of being touched by divine grace, as
the tendency of the needle to the pole proves that it
has been touched by the magnet. Increasing love to
the brethren is a sure sign of growth; for as brotherly
love is a proof of the existence of grace, so exercising
brotherly love is, of vigour in the divine life. This
love, when pure, is not confined within those limits
which party spirit circumscribes, but overleaping all
the barriers of sects and denominations, it embraces
the disciples of Christ wherever it finds them. A
healthy state of piety is always a growing state; that
child which grows not at all must be sickly. If we
would enjoy spiritual comfort, we must be in a
thriving condition. None enjoy the pleasures of
bodily health, but they who are in health. If we
would be useful to the Church and the world we must
be growing Christians. If we would live in daily
preparation for our change, we must endeavour to
grow in grace daily. The aged saint, laden with the
fruits of righteousness, is like a shock of corn fully
ripe, which is ready for the garner; or like a mature
fruit, which gradually loosens its hold of the tree, until
at last it gently falls off. Thus the aged, mature
Christian, departs in peace. As growth in grace is
gradual, and the progress from day to day impercep-
tible, we should aim to do something in this work
every day. We should "die daily unto sin and live
unto righteousness." Sometimes the children of God
grow faster when in the fiery furnace than elsewhere.
As metals are purified by being cast into the fire, so
saints have their dross consumed and their evidences
brightened, by being cast into the furnace of affliction.
" Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery
trial which shall try you, as though some strange
thing happened unto you," but rejoice, because " the
trial of your faith, being much more precious than
of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire,
shall be found unto praise, and honour, and glory."

196 THOUGHTS ON

We shall here present some practical directions how-
to grow in grace, or make progress in piety.

1. Set it down as a certainty that this object will
never be attained without vigorous, continued effort ;
and it must not only be desired and^ sought, but must
be considered more important than all other pursuits,
and be pursued in preference to every thing which
claims your attention.

2. While you determine to be assiduous in the use
of the appointed means of sanctification, you must have
it deeply fixed in your mind, that nothing can be effect-
ted in this work without the aid of the Divine Spirit.
¥ Paul may plant and Apollos water, but it is God
that giveth the increase." The direction of the old di-
vines is good ; f use the means as vigorously as if you
were to be saved by your own efforts, and yet trust as
entirely to the grace of God, as if you made use of no
means whatever/

3. Be much in the perusal of the Holy Scriptures,
and strive to obtain clear and consistent views of the
plan of redemption. Learn to contemplate the truth
in its true nature, simply, devoutly, and long at a time,
that you may receive on your soul the impression
which it is calculated to make. Avoid curious and ab-
struse speculations respecting things unrevealed; and
do not indulge a spirit of controversy. Many lose the
benefit of the good impression which the truth is calcu-
lated to make, because they do not view it simply in
its own nature, but as related to some dispute, or as
bearing on some other point. As when a man would
receive the genuine impression which a beautiful land-
scape is adapted to make, he must not be turned aside
by minute inquiries respecting the botanical character
of the plants, the value of the timber, or the fertility
of the soil 5 but he must place his mind in the attitude
of receiving the impression which the combined view
of the objects before him, will naturally produce on
the taste. In such cases the effect is not produced by
any exertion of the intellect; all such active striving
is unfavourable, except in bringing the mind to its
proper state. When the impression is most perfect,

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 197

we feel as if we were mere passive recipients of the
effect. To this there is a striking analogy in the way
in which the mind is impressed with divine truth. It
is not the critic, the speculative or polemic theologian,
who is most likely to receive the right impression, but
the humble, simple-hearted, contemplative Christian.
It is necessary to study the Scriptures critically, and
to defend the truth against opposers ; but the most
learned critic and the most profound theologian must
learn to sit at the feet of Jesus in the spirit of a
child, or they are not likely to be edified by their
studies.

4. Pray constantly and fervently for the influences
of the Holy Spirit. No blessing is so particularly and
emphatically promised in answer to prayer as this ;
and if you would receive this divine gift, to be in you
as a well of water springing up to everlasting life,
you must not only pray, but you must watch against
every thing in your heart or life which has a tendency
to grieve the Spirit of God. Of what account is it to
pray, if you indulge evil thoughts and imaginations
almost without control ; or if you give way to the
evil passions of anger, envy, pride and avarice, or
bridle not your tongue from evil speaking ? Learn to
be conscientious ; that is, obey the dictates of your
conscience uniformly. Many are conscientious in some
things, and not in others ; they listen to the monitor
within, when he directs to important duties; but in
smaller matters, they often disregard the voice of con-
science, and follow present inclination. Such cannot
grow in grace.

5. Take more time for the duties of the closet, and
for looking into the state of your soul. Redeem an
hour daily from sleep, if you cannot obtain it other-
wise; and as the soul's concerns are apt to get out
of order, and more time is needed for thorough self-
examination, than an hour a day, set apart, not peri-
odically, but as your necessities require, days of fasting
and humiliation before God. On these occasions, deal
faithfully with yourself. Be in earnest to search
out all your secret sins, and to repent of them. Re-

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198 THOUGHTS ON

new your covenant with God, and form holy resolu-
tions of amendment in the strength of divine grace,
and if you find upon examination, that you have
been living in any sinful indulgence, probe the fester-
ing wound to the core, and confess your fault before
God, and do not rest until you have had an appli-
cation of the blood of sprinkling. You need not ask
why you do not grow, while there is such an ulcer
within you. Here, it is to be feared, is the root of
the evil. Sins indulged are not thoroughly repented
of and forsaken ; or the conscience has not been purged
effectually, and the wound still festers. " Come to
the fountain opened for the washing away of sin
and uncleanness." Bring your case to the great Phy-
sician.

6. Cultivate and exercise brotherly love more than
you have been accustomed to do. Christ is displeased
with many of his professed followers, because they
are so cold and indifferent to his members on earth;
and because they do so little to comfort and encourage
them; and with some, because they are a stumbling
block to the weak of the flock ; their conversation
and conduct not being edifying, but the contrary.
Perhaps these disciples are poor, and in the lower
walks of life, and therefore you overlook them, as
beneath you. And thus would you have treated Christ
himself, had you lived in his time ; for he took his
station among the poor and afflicted ; and he will
resent a neglect of his poor saints with more displea-
sure than he would of the rich. Perhaps they do not
belong to your party or sect, and you are only con-
cerned to build up your own denomination. Remem-
ber how Christ condescended to treat the sinful woman
of Samaria, and the poor woman of Canaan, and re-
member what account he has given of the last judg-
ment, when he will assume to himself all that has been
done, or neglected to be done, to his humble followers.
There should be more Christian conversation and
friendly intercourse between the followers of Christ.
In former days, " They that feared the Lord spake
often one unto another, and the Lord hearkened

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 199

and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written
for them that feared the Lord and thought upon his
name."

7. If you are in good earnest to make greater pro-
gress in piety, you must do more than you have done
for the promotion of God's glory and of Christ's king-
dom on earth. You must enter with livelier, deeper
feeling, into all the plans which the Church has adopt-
ed to advance these objects. You must give more
than you have done. It is a shame to think how
small a portion of their gains some professors devote
to the Lord. Instead of being a tithe, it is hardly
equal to the single sheaf of first fruits. If you have
nothing to give, labour to get something. Sit up at
night and try to make something, for Christ hath
need of it. Sell a corner of your land and throw the
money into the treasury of the Lord. In primitive
times many sold houses and lands, and laid the whole
at the Apostles' feet. Do not be afraid of making
yourselves poor by giving to the Lord, or to his poor.
His word is better than any bond, and he says, " I
will repay it." Cast your bread on the waters, and
after many days you will find it again. Send the
Bible — send missionaries — send tracts to the perishing
heathen.

8. Practise self-denial every day. Lay a wholesome
restraint upon your appetites. Be not conformed to
this world. Let your dress, your house, your furni-
ture, be plain and simple, as becometh a Christian.
Avoid vain parade and show in every thing. Govern
your family with discretion. Forgive and pray for
your enemies. Have little to do with party politics.
Carry on your business on sober, judicious principles.
Keep clear of speculation and suretiships. Live peace-
ably with all men as much as in you lies. Be much
in ejaculatory prayer. Keep your heart with all
diligence. Try to turn to spiritual profit every
event which occurs; and be fervently thankful for
all mercies.

9. For your more rapid growth in grace, some of
you will be cast into the furnace of ailliction. Sick-

200 THOUGHTS ON

ness, bereavement, bad conduct of children and rela-
tives, loss of property, or of reputation, may come
upon you unexpectedly, and press heavily on you.
In these trying circumstances, exercise patience and
fortitude. Be more solicitous to have the affliction
sanctified, than removed. Glorify God while in the
fire of adversity. That faith which is most tried, is
commonly most pure and precious. Learn from Christ
how you ought to suffer. Let perfect submission to
the will of God be aimed at. Never indulge a mur-
muring or discontented spirit. Repose with confidence
on the promises. Commit all your cares to God.
Make known your requests to him by prayer and
supplication. Let go your too eager grasp of the
world. Become familiar with death and the grave.
Wait patiently until your change cometh ; but desire
not to live a day longer than may be for the glory of
God.

If we are on the watch we often may find good
things when they were least expected. It is seldom
that I consult an almanac for any purpose, but wish-
ing, the other day, to see when the moon would change,
I opened the calendar at the current month, and the
first thing which struck my eye was the heading of a
paragraph in the very words which I had selected as
the subject of this essay — " Hinderances to Growth
in Grace." Of course I perused the short paragraph,
and I was so well pleased with what I read, that I
resolved to take it for my text — and here it is, word
for word :

" The influence of worldly relatives and compan-
ions— embarking too deeply in business — approxima-
tions to fraud for the sake of gain — devoting too much
time to amusements — immoderate attachment to a
worldly object — attendance on an unbelieving or un-
faithful ministry — languid and formal observance of
religious duties — shunning the society and religious
converse of Christian friends — relapse into known sin —
oversight and of course non-improvement of graces
already attained."

Now, all this is very good and very true ; the only

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 201

objection is, that several of the particulars mentioned
should rather be considered as the effects of a real
declension in religion than the mere hinderances to
growth ; although it is true, that nothing so effectually
hinders our progress as an actual state of backsliding.
It seems desirable to ascertain, as precisely as we can,
the reasons why Christians commonly are of so diminu-
tive a stature and of such feeble strength in their reli-
gion. When persons are truly converted they always
are sincerely desirous to make rapid progress in piety ;
and there are not wanting exceeding great and gra-
cious promises of aid to encourage them to go for-
ward with alacrity. Why then is so little advance-
ment made? Are there not some practical mistakes
very commonly entertained, which are the cause of
this slowness of growth? I think there are, and will
endeavour to specify some of them. And first, there
is a defect in our belief of the freeness of divine grace.
To exercise unshaken confidence in the doctrine of
gratuitous pardon is one of the most difficult things in
the world ; and to preach this doctrine fully without
verging towards antinomianism is no easy task, and
is therefore seldom done. But Christians cannot but
be lean and feeble when deprived of the proper nutri-
ment. It is by faith, that the spiritual life is made to
grow ; and the doctrine of free grace, without any
mixture of human merit, is the only true object of
faith. Christians are too much inclined to depend
on themselves, and not to derive their life entirely
from Christ. There is a spurious legal religion,
which may flourish without the practical belief in
the absolute freeness of divine grace, but it pos-
sesses none of the characteristics of the Christian's
life. It is found to exist in the rankest growth,
in systems of religion which are utterly false. But
even when the true doctrine is acknowledged, in
theory, often it is not practically felt and acted on.
The new convert lives upon his frames, rather than
on Christ; and the older Christian still is found
struggling in his own strength ; and failing in his
expectations of success, he becomes discouraged first,

202 THOUGHTS ON

and then he sinks into a gloomy despondency, or
becomes, in a measure, careless; and then the spirit
of the world comes in with resistless force. Here, I
am persuaded, is the root of the evil; and, until reli-
gious teachers inculcate clearly, fully, and practically,
the grace of God as manifested in the gospel, we shall
have no vigorous growth of piety among professing
Christians. We must be, as it were, identified with
Christ — crucified with him, and living by him, and in
him by faith, or rather have Christ living in us. The
covenant of grace must be more clearly and repeat-
edly expounded in all its rich plenitude of mercy, and
in all its absolute freeness.

Another thing which prevents growth in grace, is,
that Christians do not make their obedience to Christ
comprehend every other object of pursuit. Their
religion is too much a separate thing, and they pursue
their worldly business in another spirit. They try to
unite the service of God and Mammon. Their minds
are divided, and often distracted with earthly cares
and desires, which interfere with the service of God;
whereas they should have but one object of pursuit,
and all that they do and seek, should be in subordina-
tion to this. Every thing should be done for God
and to God; whether they eat or drink, they should
do all to his glory. As the ploughing and sowing of
the wicked is sin, because done without regard to
God and his glory ; so the secular employments and
pursuits of the pious should all be consecrated, and
become a part of their religion. Thus they would
serve God in the field and in the shop, in buying and
selling, and getting gain — all would be for God. Thus
their earthly labours would prove no hinderance to
their progress in piety; and possessing an undivided
mind, having a single object of pursuit, they could
not but grow in grace, daily. He whose eye is single
shall have his whole body full of light.

Again, another powerful cause of hinderance in
the growth of the life of God in the soul, is, that we
make general resolutions of improvement, but neglect
to extend our efforts to particulars; and we promise

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 203

ourselves that in the indefinite future, we will do
much in the way of reformation, but are found doing
nothing each day in cultivating piety. We begin and
end our days without aiming or expecting to make
any particular advance on that day. Thus our best
resolutions evaporate without effect. We merely
run the round of prescribed duty, satisfied if we do
nothing amiss, and neglect no external service which
we feel to be obligatory. We resemble the man who
purposes to go to a certain place, and often resolves
with earnestness that he will some day perform the
journey, but never takes a step towards the place. Is
it at all strange that that person who on no day makes
it his distinct object to advance in the divine life, at
the end of months and years is found stationary? The
natural body will grow without our thinking about it,
even when we are asleep, but not the life of piety,
which only increases by, and through th^exercises of
the mind, aiming at higher measures of grace. And,
as every day we should do something in this good
work, so we should direct our attention to the growth
of particular graces ; especially of those in which we
know ourselves to be defective. Are we weak in
faith? let us give attention to the proper means of
strengthening our faith; and, above all, apply to the
Lord to increase our faith. Is our love to God cold
and hardly perceptible, and greatly interrupted by
long intervals in which God and Christ are not in all
our thoughts? let us have this for a daily lamentation
at the throne of grace — let us resolve to meditate more
on the excellency of the divine attributes, and espe-
cially on the love of God to us — let us be much in
reading the account of Christ's sufferings and death,
and be importunate in prayer, until we receive more
copious effusions of the Holy Spirit ; for the fruit of
the Spirit is love, and the love of God is shed abroad
in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto
us. And so we should directly aim at cultivating
and increasing every grace ; for the divine life, or
"new man/' consists of these graces, and the whole

204 THOUGHTS ON

cannot be in health and vigour, while the constituent
parts are feeble and in a state of decay. The same
remarks are applicable to the mortification of sin ; we
are prone to view our depravity too much in the
general, and under this view to repent of it, and hum-
ble ourselves on account of it; whereas, in order to
make any considerable progress in this part of sancti-
fication, we must deal with our sins in detail. We
must have it as a special object, to eradicate pride and
vain glory, covetousness, indolence, envy, discontent,
anger, &c. There should be appropriate means used,
suited to the extirpation of each particular vice of the
mind. It is true, indeed, that if we water the root we
may expect the branches to flourish ; if we invigorate
the principle of piety, the several Christian virtues
will flourish; but a skilful gardener will pay due
attention both to the root and the branches; and, in
fact, these graces of the heart are parts of the root,
and it is by strengthening these, that we do invigo-
rate the root. The same is true, as it relates to the
remaining principle of sin ; we must strike our blows
chiefly at the root of the evil tree ; but those inherent
vices which were mentioned, and others, should be
considered as belonging to the root, and when we aim
at their destruction particularly, and in detail, our
strokes will be most effectual.

I shall mention, at present, but one other cause of
the slow growth of believers in piety, and that is the
neglect of improving in the knowledge of divine
things. As spiritual knowledge is the foundation of
all genuine exercises of religion, so growth in religion
is intimately connected with divine knowledge. Men
may possess unsanctified knowledge and be nothing
the better for it ; but they cannot grow in grace with-
out increasing in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus
Christ. "Being," says Paul, "fruitful in every good
work, and increasing in the knowledge of God."
" Grow in grace," says Peter, "and in the knowledge
of our Lord Jesus Christ." Mr. Edwards remarks,
that the more faithful he was in studying the Bible,

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 205

the more he prospered in spiritual things. The reason
is plain, and other Christians will find the same to be
true.

CHAPTER XIV.

Backsliding— The Backslider restored

There is a perpetual, and there is a temporary back-
sliding. The first is the case of those who, being par-
tially awakened and enlightened by the word accom-
panied by the common operations of the Spirit, make
a profession of religion, and, for a while, seem to run
well, and to outstrip the humble believer in zeal and
activity; but having no root in themselves, in the
time of temptation, fall totally away, and not only
relinquish their profession, but frequently renounce
Christianity itself, and become the bitterest enemies
of religion. Or, seduced by the pride of their own
hearts, they forsake the true doctrines of the gospel,
and fall in love with some flattering, flesh-pleasing
form of heresy ; and spend their time in zealous efforts
to overthrow that very truth, which they once pro-
fessed to prize. Or, thirdly, they are overcome by
some insidious lust or passion, and fall into the habit-
ual practice of some sin, which at first they secretly
indulge, but after a while cast off all disguise, and
show to all that they are enslaved by some hurtful
and hateful iniquity. Persons who thus apostatize
from the profession and belief of Christianity, or who
fall into a habitual course of sinning, are commonly
in the most hopeless condition of all who live in the
midst of the means of grace. When they openly reject
Christianity, their infidelity is commonly accompanied
by contempt and a malign temper, which often prompts
them to blasphemy; and they are, according to our ap-
prehension, in great danger of committing the unpar-
donable sin; and some who in these circumstances

18

206 THOUGHTS ON

are actuated by inveterate hatred to the truth, and
who make use of their tongues to express the feelings
of enmity which rankle in them, do often fall into
this unpardonable sin. The case of such seems to be
described by Paul, in the sixth chapter of his Epistle
to the Hebrews. " For it is impossible for those who
were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly
gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost,
and have tasted the good word of God and the pow-
ers of the world to come, if they shall fall away, to
renew them again to repentance, seeing they crucify
to themselves the Son of God afresh and put him to
an open shame. " Some suppose that the Apostle
here describes the character of the true Christian,
and that he merely supposes the case, if such should
fall away, what would be the fearful consequence ;
but this seems to us a forced construction. It seems
more reasonable to believe that he is describing a
case which may, and often does occur, and that the
description applies to such professors as had received
the miraculous endowments of the Holy Spirit, and
yet apostatized : and by crucifying the Son of God
afresh he probably alludes to the manner in which
those who went back to the Jews, were required
to execrate the name of Christ in the Synagogues,
and to profess that he deserved to be crucified as he
had been, and thus put him to an open shame. But
whether such apostates do actually commit the un-
pardonable sin or not, seems in most cases to be of
little consequence, for they commonly die in their sins,
and all sin unrepented of is unpardonable. In some
cases, however, apostates stop short of infidelity and
blasphemy, and while they stand aloof from religion,
content themselves with decency, and do not treat
religion with disrespect; yet it will be found on exam-
ination, that the hearts of such are extremely callous,
and their consciences are seared as with a hot iron.
The Spirit of God, evidently has left them, and
strives no more with them ; and they often die as they
have lived, fearfully insensible, having " no bands
in their death/' But sometimes conscience is let

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 207

loose upon them in their last hours, and they are left
to die in the horrors of despair. In the days of the
apostles, they seem to have had some way of know-
ing when a man had committed "the sin unto death/'
and for such, Christians were not to pray, as their
destiny was irretrievably fixed; but such knowledge
cannot be possessed now, and we may therefore
pray for all, as long as they are in the place of repent-
ance.

But when we speak of backsliding, we commonly
mean those sad departures of real Christians from
God, which are so common, and often so injurious to
the cause of religion. These cases are so common,
that some have thought that all Christians have their
seasons of backsliding; when they left their first love,
and lost the sweet relish of divine things, and were
excluded from intimate communion with God. But,
however common backsliding may have been among
Christians, there is no foundation for the opinion,
that it is common to all ; we find no such declension
in the experience of Paul or John ; and in the bio-
graphies of some modern saints we find no such sad
declension. We could refer to many recorded ac-
counts of personal experience, but it will be sufficient
to mention Mr. Baxter, Col. Gardiner, G. Whitfield,
and Mr. Brainerd. No doubt all experience short
seasons of comparative coldness and insensibility, and
they who live near to God have not always equal light,
and life, and comfort, in the divinevlife. Those fluctu-
ations of feeling, which are so common, are not included
in the idea of a state of backsliding. This occurs when
the Christian is gradually led off from close walking
with God, loses the lively sense of divine things, be-
comes too much attached to the world and too much
occupied with secular concerns ; until at length the
keeping of the heart is neglected, closet duties are
omitted or slightly performed, zeal for the advance-
ment of religion is quenched, and many things once
rejected by a sensitive conscience, are now indulged
%and defended.

All this may take place, and continue long before

208 THOUGHTS ON

the person is aware of his danger, or acknowledges
that there has been any serious departure from God.
The forms of religion may be still kept up, and open
sin avoided. But more commonly backsliders fall
into some evil habits; they are evidently too much
conformed to the world, and often go too far in par-
ticipating in the pleasures and amusements of the
world; and too often there is an indulgence in known
sin, into which they are gradually led, and on account
of which they experience frequent compunction, and
make solemn resolutions to avoid it in future ; but
when the hour of temptation comes, they are over-
come again and again, and thus they live a miserable
life, enslaved by some sin, over which, though they
sometimes struggle hard, they cannot get' the victory.
There is in nature no more inconsistent thing than a
backsliding Christian. Looking at one side of his
character, he seems to have sincere, penitential feel-
ings, and his heart to be right in its purposes and
aims ; but look at the other side, and he seems to be
"carnal, sold under -sin." 0 wretched man! how he
writhes often in anguish, and groans for deliverance,
but he is like Sampson shorn of his locks, his strength
is departed, and he is not able to rise and go forth, at
liberty, as in former times. All backsliders are not
alike. Some are asleep ; but the one now described is
in a state of almost perpetual conflict, which keeps
him wide awake. Sometimes when his pious feelings
are lively, he cannot but hope that he loves God and
hates sin, and is encouraged ; but oh, when sin pre-
vails against hinr, and he is led away captive, he can-
not think that he is a true Christian. Is it possible
that one who is thus overcome, can have in him any
principle of piety? Sometimes he gives up all hope,
and concludes, that he was deceived in ever thinking
himself converted ; but then again, when he feels a
broken and contrite heart, and an ardent breathing
and groaning after deliverance, he cannot but con-
clude, that there is some principle above mere nature,
operating with him. <

The sleeping backslider is one who, by being sur-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 209

rounded with earthly comforts, and engaged in secular
pursuits, and mingling much with the decent and re-
spectable people of the world, by degrees, loses the
deep impression of divine and eternal things; his
spiritual senses become obtuse, and he has no longer
the views and feelings of one awake to the reality of
spiritual things. His case nearly resembles that of
a man gradually sinking into sleep. Still he sees dimly,
and hears indistinctly, but he is fast losing the impres-
sion of the objects of the spiritual world, and sinking
under the impression of the things of time and sense.
There may be no remarkable change in the external
conduct of such a person ; except that he has no longer
any relish for religious conversation, and rather is dis-
posed to waive it. And the difference -between such
an one, and the rest of the world, becomes less and less
distinguishable. From any thing you see or hear, you
would not suspect him to be a professor of religion,
until you see him taking his seat at the Lord's table.
Such backsliders are commonly awakened by some
severe judgments ; the earthly objects on which they
had too much fixed their affections are snatched
away; and they are made bitterly to feel that it
is an evil thing to forget and depart from the living
God. •

There is still another species of backsliding, where
by a sudden temptation, one who appeared to stand
firm, is cast down. Such was the fall of Peter, and
many others have given full evidence that a man's
standing is not in himself; for frequently men are
overcome in those very things in which they were
least afraid, and had most confidence in their own
strength. These cases are usually more disgraceful
than other instances of backsliding, but they are less
dangerous ; for, commonly, where there is grace they
produce such an overwhelming conviction of sin, and
shame for having acted so unworthily, that repentance
soon follows the lapse, and the person, when restored,
is more watchful than ever against all kinds of sin,
and more distrustful of himself. Such falls may be
compared to a sudden accident by which a bone is

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210 THOUGHTS ON

broken, or put out of joint, they are very painful, and
cause the person to go limping all the remainder of
his life, but do not so much affect the vitals, as more
secret and insidious diseases, which prey inwardly,
without being perceived.

There are many persons, who never made a pub-
lic profession of religion, who for a while, are the
subjects of serious impressions, whose consciences
are much awake, and whose feelings are tender.
They seem to love to hear the truth, and in a con-
siderable degree fall under its influence, so as to be
almost persuaded to be Christians ; and for a season
give to the pious, lively hopes of their speedy conver-
sion. They are such as the person to whom Christ
said, " thou art not far from the kingdom of God."
But through the blinding influence of avarice or am-
bition, or some other carnal motive, they are led
away and lose all their serious thoughts and good
resolutions. Such persons usually lose their day of
grace. I have seen an amiable young man, weeping
under the faithful preaching of the gospel, and my
hopes were sanguine, that I should soon see him at the
table of the Lord; but alas! I believe that, on that
very day, he quenched the Spirit, and has been going
further ^fid further from the Lord ever since !

The backsliding believer can only be distinguished
from the final apostate by the fact of his recovery ; at
least, when Christians have slidden far back, no satis-
factory evidence of the genuineness of their piety can
be exhibited ; nor can they have any which ought to
satisfy their own minds. In the course of pastoral
visitation I once called upon a habitual drunkard
who had been a flaming professor. I asked him
what he thought of his former exercises of religion.
He said, that he was confident that they were genu-
ine ; and expressed a strong confidence that the Lord
would recover him from his backsliding state. Now
here was the very spirit of Antinomianism. Whether
he was ever recovered from his besetting sin, I cannot
tell; but I rather think that he continued his intem-
perate habits to the very last. I have often remarked

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 211

how tenaciously the most profane and obstinate sin-
ners will cleave to the hope of having been once con-
verted, if they have ever been the subjects of religious
impressions. One of the profanest men I ever heard
speak, and one of the most outrageous drunkards,
when asked on his death-bed, to which he was brought
by intemperance, respecting his prospects beyond the
grave, said, that when a very young man, he had
been among the Methodists, and thought that he was
converted; and though he had lived in the most
open and daring wickedness for more than twenty
years since that time, yet he seemed to depend on
those early exercises. Miserable delusion ! But a
drowning man will catch at a straw. An old sea-cap-
tain, whom I visited on his death-bed, seemed to be
trusting to a similar delusion. He related to me cer-
tain religious exercises which he had when he first
went to sea, but of which he had no return ever
since, though half a century had elapsed. I have
met with few persons who had neglected to cherish
and improve early impressions, who were ever after-
wards hopefully converted. They are generally given
up to blindness of mind and hardness of heart. But
some of these are sometimes brought in, in times of
revival; or, at a late period, driven to the gospel
refuge, by severe affliction. The conviction of a Chris-
tian backslider is often more severe and overwhelm-
ing than when first awakened. When his eyes are
opened to see the ingratitude and wicked rebellion
of his conduct, he is ready to despair, and to give
up all hopes of being pardoned. He sinks into deep
waters where the billows of divine displeasure roll
over him ; or he is like a prisoner, in a horrible pit,
and in the miry clay. All around him is dark and
desolate, and he feels himself to be in a deplorably
helpless condition. His own strivings seem to sink
him deeper in the mire ; but, as his last and only re-
source, he cries, out of the depths, unto God. As his
case is urgent he cries with unceasing importunity,
and the Lord hears the voice of his supplications, and
brings him up out of the horrible pit, and places his

212 THOUGHTS ON

feet upon a rock, and establishes his goings, and puts
a new song into his mouth, even of praise to the Re-
deemer. The freeness of pardon to the returning
backslider is a thing which is hard to be believed,
until it is experienced. No sooner is the proud heart
humbled, and the hard heart broken into contrition,
than Jehovah is near with his healing balm. To heal
the broken in heart, and to revive the spirit of the
contrite ones, is the delight of Immanuel. And he re-
ceives the returning penitent without reproaches. He
pardons him freely, and sheds abroad his love in his
heart, and fills him with the joy of the Holy Ghost.
It is, in fact, a new conversion; though there is but one regen-
eration. We never hear of a sinner being born a
third time — but we remember that Christ said unto
Peter, " when thou art converted, strengthen thy
brethren." Indeed, the exercises of the soul on these
occasions may be so much more clear and comfortable
than on its first conversion, that the person is dis-
posed to think that this is the real commencement
of spiritual life, and to set down all his former expe-
rience as spurious; or, at least, essentially defective.
Christians, when recovered from backsliding, are com-
monly more watchful, and walk more circumspectly
than they ever did before. They cannot but be more
humble. The remembrance of their base departure
from God fills them with self-loathing. Whenever
spiritual pride would lift up its head, one thought of
a disgraceful fall will often lay the soul in the dust.
And whether the backslider's sins have been open
or secret, the recollection of his traitorous behaviour
fills him with shame and self-abhorrence. When such
persons have so conducted themselves as to bring
upon them the censures of the church, so as to be
separated from the communion of his people, at first,
it is probable, resentment will be felt towards the
officers of the church who perform this painful duty;
but after reflection, these resentments are turned
against themselves, and they pass much heavier cen-
sures on themselves than the church ever did. Judi-
cious, seasonable discipline is a powerful means of

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 213

grace, and often would be the effectual means of re-
covering the backslider, if exercised as it should be.
Indeed, this may be said to be one main design of its
appointment. If whenever there is an appearance of
declension in a church member, the pastor, or some
other officer of the church, would go to the person,
and, in the spirit, and by the authority of Christ,
would address a serious admonition to him, and then
a second, and a third, and if these were unheeded,
then to bring him before the church, backsliding, in
most cases, would be arrested before it proceeded far.
But every member of the church has a duty to per-
form towards erring brethren. When they see them
going astray, they should not act towards them as if
they hated them, but should in any wise rebuke them.
Christian reproof from one Christian to another seems
to be almost banished from our churches. There is a
quick eye to discern a brother's faults, and a ready
tongue to speak of them to others ; but where do we
now find the faithful reprover of sin, who goes to the
man himself, without saying a word to any one, and
between themselves, faithfully warns, exhorts, and
entreats a straying brother to return. The serious
discipline of formal accusations, and witnesses, &c, by
such a course would be, in a great measure, rendered
unnecessary; but the practice is, to let the evil grow
until it has become inveterate, and breaks out into
overt acts, and then there is a necessity to pay atten-
tion to the matter, and to put in force the discipline of
the church. But even this often proves salutary, and
is a powerful means of reclaiming the offender ; or, if
he persists in his evil courses, it serves to separate an
unworthy member from the communion of saints.
But when church officers and private Christians ut-
terly fail in their duty towards backsliding brethren,
God himself often makes use of means of his own,
which do not require the intervention of men. He
smites the offender with his rod, and causes him to
smart in some tender part. He sends such afflictions
as bring his sins forcibly before his conscience. He
deprives him of the objects for the sake of which he

214 THOUGHTS ON

forsook the Lord. — It may be the wife of his youth,
or a beloved child, on which his affections were too
fondly fixed, so as to become idolatrous. Or, if it was
the love of the world which was the seductive cause
of his backsliding, riches are caused to " make to
themselves wings and flee away like the eagle to
heaven." Or, was the love of ease and indulgence
of the sensual appetites the cause of his delinquency,
the stroke falls on his own body. He is brought low
by sickness, and is tried upon his bed with excru-
ciating pains, until he cries out in his distress, and
humbly confesses his sins. Or, if he was carried
away by an undue love of the honour that cometh
from men, it is not unlikely that his reputation, which
he cherished with a fondness which caused him to
neglect the honour of his God, will be permitted to be
tarnished by the tongue of slander, and things may
be so situated, that although innocent, he may not
have it in his power to make the truth appear.
Children, too much indulged, become, by their mis-
conduct, fruitful causes of affliction to parents; and
thus they are made to suffer in the very point where
they had sinned. Look at the case of Eli and of
David. All afflictions, however, are not for chastise-
ment, but sometimes for trial ; and those whom God
loves best are most afflicted in this world. They are
kept in the furnace, and that heated seven times, until
their dross is consumed, and their piety shines forth
as pure gold, which has been tried in the fire. But
we are now concerned only with those afflictions
which are most effective to bring back the backslider ;
the virtue of which the Psalmist acknowledges when
he says, "It is good for me to be afflicted, for before
I was afflicted I went astray." It may be truly said,
that many who had backslidden, never would have
returned had it not been for the rod; other means
seemed to have lost their power, but this comes home
to the feelings of every one. Whether a believer is
ever permitted to go out of the world in a backslid-
den state, is a question of no practical importance;
but it seems probable that Christians die in all condi-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 215

tions in which any of this character are ever found.
No one has any right to presume, that if he backslides,
death may not overtake him in that unprepared con-
dition. Backsliding then is a fearful evil ; may we all
be enabled to avoid it; or if fallen into it, to be re-
covered speedily from so dangerous a state !

CHAPTER XV.

The rich man and the poor.— The various trials of believers.

They are not the happy whom the blinded world
think to be such. The man of successful enterprise,
and increasing wealth had some enjoyment while
busily occupied in making a fortune; but now when
he has arrived at a higher pitch of wealth than his
most sanguine hopes had anticipated, he is far from
being happy, or even contented. The desire of ac-
quisition has grown into an inveterate habit, and he
cannot stop in his career ; he must find out some new
enterprise ; he must engage in some new speculation;
and before all is over, it is well if he loses not all he
had gained ; and being accustomed to live high, he is
unprepared to meet poverty ; and to preserve his
family from such a mortifying change of circum-
stances, he contrives ways and means to defraud his
creditors. This man is not happy in his prosperity,
and under a reverse of fortune, he is truly miserable.
He has put away a good conscience, which is the
most essential ingredient in that peace which Christ
gives to his disciples. His reputation too, if not tar-
nished, remains under a dark cloud of suspicion,
which never can be removed. Abroad, he meets
with neglect and sometimes contempt, from those on
whom he once looked down ; at home he has before
him the sad spectacle of a family degraded from their
former rank, and under all the feelings of mortified

216 THOUGHTS ON

pride, struggling to conceal their poverty from the
gaze and contempt of an unpitying world. But even
if no reverse is experienced, and the man continues to
be successful in all his enterprises ; and if at the close
of his career, he can calculate millions, in the bank,
or in real estate; his only remaining difficulty is,
how to dispose of such a mass of wealth. He has
a son, it is true, but he is a base profligate, and in a
single year, would, by reckless speculation, or at the
gaming table, dissipate the whole which has been
so carefully hoarded up. And yet this man could
scarcely be induced to give a dollar to any benevo-
lent object, lest he should lessen the amount which he
was by every means raking together, for this unwor-
thy son. He has daughters, too, whose husbands in
selecting them had more respect to their fortunes, than
to any personal qualifications, and these are impatient,
that the old man should live so long, and hold the
purse-strings with so close a grip. Though they will
go through all the ceremonial of deep grief, and mourn
as decently, and as long as fashion requires ; yet no
event is heard with more heart-felt pleasure, than that
their aged relative is at last obliged to give up all his
possessions.

Are the rich happy? not such as have been de-
scribed. But there are a favoured few who seem
to have learned the secret of using wealth so as to
do much good, and to derive from it much enjoy-
ment. They are desirous of making increase too, but
it is all for the Lord ; not to be hoarded, until they are
obliged to leave it, and then to be distributed among
benevolent societies. No ; they are continually con-
triving methods of. making it produce good, now.
They are parsimonious to themselves, that they may
be liberal to the poor; and may be able to enrich the
treasury of the Lord. Such men are blessed, in their
deed; and though unostentatious in their charities,
their light cannot be hid. A few rich men of this
description have lived in England, and even our new
country records with gratitude, the names of a few

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 217

benefactors of the public ; and we trust in God that
the number will be multiplied. Reader, go and do
likewise.

But, more commonly, the elect of God are not called
to glorify him in this way. Wealth is a dangerous
talent, and is very apt so to block up the way to
heaven, that they who do press in, have, as it were,
to squeeze through a gate as difficult of entrance as
the eye of a needle to a camel : and alas ! many
professors who bid fair for heaven, when in moderate
circumstances, after becoming rich, are found "drown-
ed in perdition" — "pierced through with many sor-
rows." Poverty and suffering are by infinite wisdom
judged best for the traveller to Zion, Let the Lord's
people be contented with their condition, and thank-
ful that they are preserved from snares and tempta-
tions, which they would have found it difficult to with-
stand. God will not suffer them to be tempted above
what they are able to bear, but with the temptation
provides a way for their escape. The rich are ex-
posed to suffering as well as the poor; though their suf-
ferings may be of a different kind. The poor man
may be forced by necessity to live on coarse bread ; the
rich man also, while tantalized with the daily sight- of
the finest -of the wheat, is obliged for the sake of his
health, to live upon bran. The poor man lies on a
hard bed, because he can afford to get no better ; the
rich man lies as hard to preserve himself from aches
and pains, which are the natural fruit of luxury.
The poor man has little of the honours of the world,
but then he is envied by none, and passes along in
obscurity, without being set up as a mark to be shot
at, by envy and malignity, which is often the lot of
the rich. When sickness comes, the rich man has
some advantages, but when oppressed with painful
sickness, neither a bed of down, nor rich hangings and
carpets, contribute any thing to his relief; and in such
a time of distress, the privations of the poor, though
the imagination readily magnifies them, add not much to
the pain produced by disease. But we have dwelt
too long on this comparison between the real suffer-

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218 THOUGHTS ON

ings of the rich and the poor. More after all depends
upon the submission and patient temper of the mind,
than upon external circumstances; and, indeed, so
short is the time of man's continuance upon earth,
and so infinite the joys or miseries of the future
world, that to make much of these little differences
would be like estimating the weight of a feather,
when engaged in weighing mountains. Who thinks
it a matter of any concern, whether the circum-
stances of persons who lived a thousand years ago
were affluent or destitute, except, so far as these
external enjoyments and privations contributed to
their moral improvement, or the contrary ? If we
could be duly impressed with the truths which re-
spect our eternal condition, we should consider our
afflictions here as scarcely worthy of being named.
Thus the apostle Paul seemed to view his own suffer-
ings, and those of his fellow Christians, when he said,
" For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time,
are not worthy to be compared with the glory which
shall be revealed in us." Compared with the suffer-
ings of others, those of the apostle were neither few
nor small ; but in the view of eternity by faith, he
calls them " these light afflictions which are but for a
moment:-' and he had learned the happy art, not only
of being contented, in whatever state he was, but of
rejoicing in all his tribulations; not that tribulation,
considered in itself, could be a matter of rejoicing, for
who ever found pain and reproach to be pleasant?
But he rejoiced in these things on account of their
salutary effects, "for," says he, "tribulation worketh
patience, and patience experience, and experience hope,
and hope maketh not ashamed, because the love of God
is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost." The
primitive Christians were encouraged to bear patiently
and joyfully, their present sufferings, on account of the
rich and gracious reward which awaited them in the
world to come. Upon the mere principle of con-
trast, our earthly sorrows will render our heavenly
joys the sweeter. But this is not all: — hear the words
of Jesus himself, "Blessed are they who are perse-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 219

cuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom
of heaven. Blessed are ye when men shall revile
you, and persecute you, and say ah manner of evil
against you falsely, for my sake: rejoice and be exceed-
ing glad, for great is your reward in heaven." Peter
also testifies, " and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake,
happy are ye," — "for it is better, if the will of God
be so, that ye suffer for well doing than for evil doing.
For Christ once suffered, the just for the unjust." He
was also of the same opinion with his brother Paul,
that Christians ought to rejoice in all their sufferings
for righteousness' sake. " Beloved," says he, " think
it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try
you, as though some strange thing happened unto you :
but rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's
sufferings, that when his glory shall be revealed, ye
may be glad also with exceeding joy. If ye be re-
proached for the name of Christ, happy are ye, for
the Spirit of God resteth on you." " If any man
suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let
him glorify God on this behalf." Let Zion's mourners
lift up their heads and rejoice, for though weeping
may endure for a night, joy cometh in the morn-
ing ! Let all Christians manifest to others the sweet-
ness and excellency of religion, by rejoicing continu-
ally in the Lord. The perennial sources of their spi-
ritual joy can never fail — for while God lives and
reigns, they ought to rejoice. Since Christ has died, and
ever lives to make intercession for them, they have
ground of unceasing joy. While the throne of grace
is accessible, let the saints rejoice ; let them rejoice in
all the promises of God, which are exceeding great
and precious, and are all yea and amen in Christ Jesus
to the glory of God.

In one sense, all our sufferings are the fruits of sin,
for if we had never sinned, we should never have
suffered: but, in another sense, the sufferings of be-
lievers are produced by love : " whom the Father
loveth, he chasteneth and scourgeth every son whom
he receiveth." As in the economy of salvation, God
leaves his chosen people to struggle with the remain-

220 THOUGHTS ON

ders of sin in their own hearts ; so he has ordained,
that their pilgrimage to the heavenly Canaan, shall be
through much tribulation. From the beginning the
saints have generally been a poor and afflicted people,
often oppressed and persecuted; and when exempt
from sufferings from the hands of men, they are often
visited with sickness, or have their hearts sorely lacer-
ated by the bereavement of dear friends, are punished
with poverty, or loaded with obloquy and reproach.
There seems to be an incongruity in believers enjoy-
ing ease and prosperity, in this world, when their
Lord was " a man of sorrows and acquainted with
grief." It seems, indeed, to be a condition of our
reigning with Him, that we should suffer with Him.
When James and John, under the influence of ambi-
tion, asked for the highest places in his kingdom, he
said to them, " Can ye drink of the cup which I drink
of, and be baptized with the baptism that I am bap-
tized with?" They seem not to have understood his
meaning, for, with self-confidence, they answered,
" We are able." He replied, " Ye shall, indeed, drink
of the cup that I drink of, and be baptized with
the baptism that I am baptized with." For the
Christian to seek great things for himself here, does
not become the character of a disciple of the meek
and lowly Jesus. The early Christians were called
to endure much persecution, but they did not count
their lives dear unto them. When the apostles, after
our Lord's ascension, were publicly beaten for preach-
ing that the Saviour was risen, they rejoiced to-
gether that they were counted worthy to suffer such
things for his name's sake. It is a striking pecu-
liarity in the religion of Christ, that, in the conditions
of discipleship, "taking up the cross" is the first
thing. He never tempted any to follow him with
the promise of earthly prosperity, or exemption from
suffering. On the contrary, he assures them that
in the world they shall have tribulation. He does,
indeed, promise to those who forsake father and mo-
ther, wife and children, brothers and sisters, houses
and lands, a compensation of a hundred fold more

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 221

than they had left ; but he permits them not to fall into
the delusion that this hundred fold was to consist in
earthly good things, for he immediately adds, " with
persecution" Whosoever will not take Christ with
his cross, shall never sit with him on his throne.
"No c?*oss, no crown" holds out an important truth
in few words. Christ, in his intercessory prayer, does
request, for his disciples, that they may be kept from
the evil, which is in the world, but he means from the
"evil one," — from the evil of sin, and from tempta-
tions above their strength to endure.

The reasons why Christ has chosen that his people
should be afflicted, and often sorely persecuted, are
not difficult to be ascertained. In the former essay,
it was shown that the rod is one of Cod's means for
recovering backsliders from their wanderings ; but
afflictions are also employed to prevent Christians
from backsliding. In prosperity, pride is apt to rise
and swell 5 carnal security blinds their eyes; the love
of riches increases; spiritual affections are feeble;
and eternal things are viewed as far off, and concealed
by a thick mist. These circumstances are, indeed,
the common precursors of backsliding ; but to prevent
this evil, and to stir up the benumbed feelings of piety,
the believer is put into the furnace. At first, he finds
it hard to submit, and is like a wild bull in a net.
His pride and his love of carnal ease resist the hand
that smites him ; but severe pain awakes him from
his sleep, and he finds himself in the hands of his
heavenly Father, and sees that nothing can be gained
by murmuring or rebelling. His sins rise up to
view, and he is convinced of the justice of the di-
vine dispensations. His hard heart begins to yield,
and he is stirred up to cry mightily to God for help-
ing grace. Although he wishes and prays for de-
liverance from the pressure of affliction ; yet he is
more solicitous that it should be rendered effectual
to subdue his pride, wean him from the love of the
world, and give .perfect exercise to patience and re-
signation, than that it should be removed. He knows
that the furnace is the place for purification. He hopes

19*

■

222 THOUGHTS ON

and prays that his dross may be consumed ; and that
he may come forth as gold which has passed seven
times through the refiner's fire.

Paul attributes a powerful efficacy to afflictions;
so as to place them among the most efficacious means
of grace. "For," says he, "our light affliction
which is but for a moment, worketh out for us a far
more exceeding and eternal weight of glory." "Fur-
thermore, we have had fathers of our flesh, which
corrected us, and we gave them reverence ; shall we
not much rather be in subjection to the Father of
spirits and live? For they, verily, for a few days,
corrected us after their own pleasure, but He for our
profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.
Now, no chastening for the present seemeth to be joy-
ous but grievous ; nevertheless, afterward it yieldeth
the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them who
are exercised thereby." When faith is in very
lively exercise, believers can rejoice even in tribula-
tion. Not that they cease to feel the pain of the rod
— for then it would cease to be an affliction — but
while they experience the smart, they are convinced
that it is operating as a salutary though bitter medi-
cine ; and they rejoice in the prospect, or feeling of
returning health. But, again, God pours not the rich
consolations of his grace into a heart that is not
broken. "He sendeth the rich empty away." "The
whole need not a physician ;" but when by affliction
he has broken the hard heart, and emptied it of self-
confidence, he delights to pour in the joy of the Holy
Ghost. Therefore, it often occurs, that the believer's
most joyful seasons are his suffering seasons. He
has, it is true, more pungent pain, than when in
prosperity and ease, but he has also richer, deeper
draughts of consolation. Though sorrow and joy
are opposite, there is a mysterious connexion between
them. Sorrow, as it were, softens and prepares the
heart for the reception of the joy of the Lord. As
the dispensations of God towards his children, are
exceedingly diverse, in different ages, so his dealings
with individual believers, who live at the same time,

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 223

are very different. Why it is so we cannot tell ; but
we are sure, that he has wise reasons for all that he
does. In some cases, pious persons appear to pass
through life with scarcely a touch from his rod ;
while others, who to us do not appear to need more
chastisement than those, are held the greater part of
their life under the heavy pressure of affliction, with
scarcely any intermission. Here is a Christian man
who has nearly reached the usual termination of
human life, and has hardly known what external
affliction is, in his own experience. Prosperity has
attended him through his whole course. But there
is a desolate widow who has been bereaved of her
husband and children, and has neither brother nor
sister, nephew nor niece, and for eight years has been
confined to her bed, by wasting and painful disease,
and has no hope of relief on this side of the grave.
Such a disparity is striking; but we see only the
outside of things. There are sore afflictions of the
mind, while the body is in health. That man may
have had severer chastisement than this afflicted,
desolate widow. I have heard an aged Christian de-
clare, that though he had experienced much sickness,
lost many dear friends, and met with many sore dis-
appointments in life, his sufferings on these accounts
were not to be compared with the internal anguish
which he often endured, and of which no creature
had the least conception. This shows that we are
not competent to form an accurate judgment of the*
sufferings of different persons. Besides, when afflic- •
tioh has been long continued, we become, in a mea-
sure, accustomed to it, and, as it were, hardened
against it; but when we judge of such cases, we
transfer our own acute feelings to the condition,
which are no correct standard of the sufferings, of the
patient, under a lingering disease. The widow, to
whom I referred, was not a fictitious, but a real per-
son. I once visited her, and conversed with her,
and found her serene and happy; desiring nothing
but a speedy departure, that she might be absent
from the body, and present with the Lord; but she

2.24 THOUGHTS ON

was not impatient; she was willing to remain and
suffer just as long as God pleased. Her heart was
truly subdued to the obedience of Christ. There was
only one earthly object for which she seemed to feel
solicitude, and that was the little forsaken, and
almost desolate church of which she was a member.
For a series of years, disaster after disaster had fallen
upon this little flock. Their house of worship had
been accidentally burnt, they had been so long with-
out a pastor, that they dwindled down to a few dis-
heartened and scattered, members, and only one aged
elder remained. Seldom was there an occasional ser-
mon in the place, as they had no convenient house
of meeting on the Sabbath. Now, although this poor
widow could not have attended, if there had been
preaching every Lord's day, yet that little church lay
as a burden on her mind ; and I heard a minister who
knew the circumstances say, that as once a poor wise
man saved a city, so this poor, pious widow, by her
prayers, saved a church from extinction. For before
her death, a neat, new church was erected, and a
pastor settled, and a number of souls hopefully con-
verted, and gathered into the church. I was once
on a visit to a friend, who requested me to accom-
pany her to see a sick woman, supposed to be near
her end. The house was not a cabin, but a mere
wreck of a once comfortable dwelling. Every ap-
pearance of comfort was absent. The partitions ap-
peared to have been taken down, and the whole
house was turned into one large room. There was
no glass in the windows — but that mattered not, it
was summer. Upon entering this desolate place, I
saw the sick woman lying on a miserable bed, unable
to raise her head from the pillow, and attended only
by an aged mother above eighty years of age, and a
little daughter about seven or eight. Here, indeed,
seemed to be the very picture of wretchedness ; and
I was told that her brutal husband generally came
home' drunk, and never gave her a kind or soothing
word. — Hear the conclusion — I verily thought before
I left the house, that this was the happiest woman

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 225

I ever saw. Her devout and tender eye was sweetly
fixed on heaven. Her countenance was serene, and
illumined with a heavenly smile.

CHAPTER XVI.

Death- bed of the Believer.

We have arrived now, at a very solemn part of our
subject. The writer feels that it is so to himself, as
he knows that he must soon be called to travel the
road which leads to the narrow house, appointed for
all living. If after having gone through this scene,
he were permitted to return, and finish these papers
on Religious Experience, by narrating what the soul
suffers in passing the gate of death ; and more es-
pecially, what are its views and feelings, the moment
after death, he would be able to give information
which at present no mortal can communicate. The
thought has often occurred, when thinking on this
subject, that the surprise of such a transition as that
from time to eternity, from the state of imprisonment
in this clay tenement, to an unknown state of exist-
ence, would be overwhelming even to the pious.
But these are short-sighted reflections. We under-
take to judge of eternal things, by rules only suited
to our present state of being, and our present feel-
ings. That the scene will be new and sublime,
beyond all conception, cannot be doubted ; but what
our susceptibilities and feelings will be, when sepa-
rated from the body, we cannot tell. Is it not possi-
ble, that our entrance on the unseen world, may be
preceded by a course of gradual preparation for the
wonderful objects which it contains, analogous to our
progress through infancy in the present world ? That
knowledge of future things will be acquired gradu-
ally, and not instantaneously, we are led to , believe

226 THOUGHTS ON

from the constitution of the human mind, and from
all the analogies of nature. The soul may therefore
have to go to school again, to learn the first elements
of celestial knowledge ; and who will be the instruc-
ted, or how long this training may continue, it would
be vain to conjecture. Whether in this gradual pro-
gress in the knowledge of heavenly things, our remin-
iscence of the transactions in which we were engaged
upon earth, will be from the first vivid and perfect,
or whether these things will at first be buried in a
sort of oblivion, and be brought up to view gradually
and successively, who can tell us? But I must with-
draw my imagination from a subject, to which her
powers are entirely inadequate. Though I have been
fond of those writings of Dick, Taylor, and Watts,
which give free scope to reasonings from analogy, in
regard to the future condition of the believer, yet I
am persuaded, that they add nothing to our real
knowledge. Their lucubrations resemble the vain
efforts of a man born blind to describe to his fellow
sufferers, the brilliance of the stars, the splendours of
the sun, or the milder beauties of a lovely landscape.
While he seems to himself to approach nearest to the
object, he in fact is most remote from any just con-
ceptions of it. This brings to recollection, what has
often appeared highly probable, in regard to the de-
velopement of our mental powers ; that as in infancy
some of our most important faculties, as for example,
reason, conscience, and taste, are entirely dormant,
and gradually and slowly make their appearance
afterwards ; so, probably, this whole life is a state of
infancy in relation to that which is to come, and there
may exist nozv, in these incomprehensible souls of
ours, germs of faculties never in the least developed
in this world, but which will spring into activity as
soon as the soul feels the penetrating beams of celes-
tial light; and which will be brought to maturity
just at the time when they are needed. The capacity
of the beatific vision may now be possessed by the
soul, deeply enveloped in that darkness which con-
ceals the internal powers of the mind even from itself,

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 221

except so far as they are manifested by their actual
exercise. How shallow then, is all our mental phi-
losophy, by which we attempt to explore the depths
of the human mind ! But are these conjectural specu-
lations for edification ? Do they bring us any nearer
to God, and to our beloved Redeemer ? I cannot say,
that they do. At the best, they are no more than an
innocent amusement ; and in indulging them, we are
in great danger of becoming presumptuous, and even
foolish, by supposing that we possess knowledge,
when in fact our brightest light is but darkness.
Vain man would be wise. Let us then cease from
man — let us cease from our own unsubstantial dreams,
and lay fast hold of the sure word of prophecy as of
a light shining in a dark place. M To the law and to
the testimony; if they speak not according to these,
there is no light in them," or as some render the pas-
sage, "light shall never rise to them." One simple
declaration of the word of God is worth more to a
soul descending into the valley and shadow of death,
than all the ingenious and vivid imaginings of the
brightest human minds.

Considering the absolute and undoubted certainty
of our departure out of life, it seems passing strange
that we should be so unconcerned. If even one of a
million escaped death, this might afford some shadow
of a reason for our carelessness ; but we know that
"it is appointed unto men once to die." In this war-
fare there is no discharge, and yet most men live as
if they were immortal. I remember the foolish
thought which entered my childish mind, when my
mother informed me that we all must die. I enter-
tained the hope that before my time came, some great
change would take place, I knew not how, by which
I should escape this dreaded event. I have nothing
to do with the death of the wicked at present. The
dying experience of the believer is our proper sub-
ject, and we read that one object of Christ's coming
into the world was "to deliver such as were all
their life time in bondage through fear of death."
Death, in itself considered, is a most formidable evil,

228 THOUGHTS ON

and can be desirable to none. The fear of death is
not altogether the consequence of sin; the thing is
abhorrent to the constitution of man. Death was
held up in terror to our first parents when innocent,
to prevent their transgression, and having entered the
world by their sin in whom we all sinned, this event
has been, ever since, a terror to mortals — "The King
op Terrors." Man instinctively cleaves to life ; so
does every sentient being. There are only two things
which can possibly have the effect of reconciling any
man to death. The first is, the hope of escaping
from misery which is felt to be intolerable : the other,
an assurance of a better, that is a heavenly country.
The captain of our salvation conquered death, and
him that had the power of death, that is the Devil,
by dying himself. By this means, he plucked from
this monster his deadly sting, by satisfying the de-
mands of God's holy law. " For the sting of death
is sin, and the strength of sin is the law." All those,
therefore, who are united to Christ, meet death as a
conquered and disarmed enemy. Against them he is
powerless. Still, however, he wears a threatening
aspect, and although he cannot kill, he can frown and
threaten, and this often frightens the timid sheep.
They often do not know that they are delivered from
his tyranny, and that now he can do nothing but
falsely accuse, and roar like a hungry lion disappoint-
ed of his prey. There are still some who all their
lifetime are subject to bondage "through fear of
death." Their confidence is shaken by so many dis-
tressing doubts, that though sincerely engaged in the
service of God, they can never think of death with-
out sensible dread; and often they are afraid, that
when the last conflict shall come, they will be so
overwhelmed with terror and despair, that they shall
prove a dishonour to their Christian profession. I
recollect a sickly, but pious lady, who with a profu-
sion of tears, expressed her anxiety and fear in the
view of her approaching end ; and there seemed to be
ground for her foreboding apprehensions, because,
from the beginning of her profession, she had enjoyed

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 229

no comfortable assurance, but was of the number of
those who, though they "fear God, and obey the
voice of his servant, yet walk in darkness and have
no light" of comfort. But mark the goodness of
God, and the fidelity of the Great Shepherd. Some
months afterwards I saw this lady on her death-bed,
and was astonished to find that Christ had delivered
her entirely from her bondage. She was now near to
her end and knew it, but she shed no tears now but
those of joy and gratitude. All her darkness and
sorrow were gone, and her heart glowed with love
to the Redeemer, and all her anxiety now was to de-
part and be with Jesus. There was, as it were, a
beaming of heaven in her countenance. I had before
tried to comfort her, but now I sat down by her bed-
side to listen to the gracious words which proceeded
from her mouth, and could not but send up the fer-
vent aspiration, " 0 let me die the death of the right-
eous, and let my last end be like hers." Then I knew
that there was one who had conquered death, and him
who has the power of death ; for Satan, to the last mo-
ment, was not permitted to molest her.

No arguments have ever so powerfully operated on
my mind, to convice me of the reality and power of
experimental religion, as witnessing the last exercises
of some of God's children. Some of these scenes,
though long past, have left an indelible impression on
my memory ; and I hope a salutary impression on my
heart.

Another lady, and a near relative of the former, I
had often observed passing along her way, humble,
gentle, silent, evidently not seeking to be conspicuous,
but rather to remain unnoticed and unknown. She
had a few 'chosen female friends, with whom she freely
communicated, for her heart was affectionate, and her
disposition sociable — to these she poured out her in-
most soul, and received from them a similar return.
She Avas crushed under a habitual feeling of domestic
affliction ; but not of that kind which freely utters its
complaints, and engages the sympathy of many; but
her sorrows were such as her delicacy of feeling did

20

230 THOUGHTS ON

not permit her even to allude to; the conduct of an
imprudent father, weighed heavily on her spirits; but
towards him — and her mother being dead, she kept
his house — she was assiduously respectful ; and while
he made himself the laughing stock of his acquaint-
ances, she endeavoured to make his home comfortable.
But often, I thought, that her lively sensibility to the
ridicule and reproaches which fell upon him, would
be an injury to her delicate constitution ; and the more
so, because this was a subject on which she would
not converse, even with the intimate, confidential
friends, before mentioned. It was evident, that her
health was slowly giving wa}^, and that the disease
which carries off nearly one half of the adults in this
land, was secretly consuming her vitals. But she
never complained, and seemed rather to become more
cheerful, as her eye became more brilliant and her
cheeks more pallid. She was for a long time after
this, seen occupying her humble retired place in the
house of God, and still went her accustomed rounds
among her poor and sick neighbours, while doing every
thing to render home comfortable to her restless, un-
happy parent. At length, however, her strength
failed, and she was obliged to confine herself to the
house, and before long to her bed. Being informed
of this, as being her pastor, I visited her. Hitherto
her extreme modesty and retired habits had prevented
me from having much personal acquaintance with
this excellent woman. I was accompanied to the
house by one of her intimate friends, who still lives,
and if she should see this paper will readily recognize
the portrait of her beloved friend. The house was a
cottage, and all its furniture of home manufacture ;
but upon the whole there was impressed a neatness
and order, which indicated a superior taste in her who
had long had the sole management. I did not know
but that from her habitual reserve and silence, she
would be embarrassed in her feelings, and reserved in
her communications; but I was happily disappointed.
She received me with an affectionate smile, and a
cordial shake of the hand, and said that she was

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 231

pleased that I had thought it worth my while to come
and see a poor dying woman. Not many minutes
were spent in compliments, or general remarks; she
entered freely and most intelligently, into a narrative
of her religious exercises, which had commenced at
an early period of her life, but expatiated in the
sweetest manner, on the divine excellencies of the
Saviour; not as one who was speaking what she had
learned from others, or from the mere exertion of her
own intellect ; but as one who felt in the heart every
word which she uttered. There was a gentleness, a
suavity, and a meek humility expressed in every tone
of her voice, and the same depicted on every linea-
ment of her countenance. Though, when in health,
she was never reckoned beautiful, yet there was now
in her countenance, animated with hope and love,
and religious joy, or rather peace, a beauty of coun-
tenance which I never saw equalled. It was what
may without impropriety be called spiritual beauty.
I found what I had not known before, that her mind
had been highly cultivated by reading, and this was
manifest in the propriety, and indeed I may say, ele-
gance of her language. Not that she aimed at say-
ing fine things. Such an idea never entered her hum-
ble mind; but possessing, naturally, a good under-
standing, which she had carefully improved by read-
ing, especially the best religious authors, and being
now animated with a flow of pious affection, which
seemed never to ebb ; all these things gave her lan-
guage a fluency, a glow, and a vividness, which was
truly remarkable. I have often regretted that I had
not put down, at the time, her most striking expres-
sions, but the mere words could convey no more than
the shadow of such a scene. It has often been re-
marked, that the speeches of great orators, when
written and read, have scarcely a resemblance to the
same speeches, delivered with all the pathos, the grace,
and the varied intonations and gestures of the orator.
The same may more truly be said of the sayings of
the dying Christian ; we may catch the very words,
but the spirit, the sacred and solemn tones, free from

232 THOUGHTS ON

all affectation, the heavenly serenity of countenance,
and the nameless methods of manifesting the pious
affections of the heart, never can be preserved, nor
distinctly conveyed, by words, to others. The mind
of this young lady possessed a uniform serenity, un-
disturbed with fears, doubts, or cares. Every thing
seemed right to her submissive temper. It was
enough, that her heavenly Father appointed it to be
so. For many weeks she lay in this state of perfect
tranquillity, as it were in the suburbs of heaven ; and
I believe no one ever heard a complaint from her lips.
Even that grief which had preyed on her health,
when able to go about, had now ceased to cause her
pain. Hers was, in my apprehension, the nearest ap-
proximation to complete happiness which I ever saw
upon earth ; yet there was no violence of feeling, no
agitation, no rapture. It was that kind of happiness
which from its gentleness and calmness, is capable of
continuance. As it was her request that I should visit
her often, I did so as frequently as the distance of my
residence, and other avocations would permit; not,
as I often said, with any expectation of communica-
ting any good to her, but of receiving spiritual bene-
fit from her heavenly conversation. 0 ! how often
did I wish that the boldest infidels — and they were
rampant at that time — could have been introduced
into the chamber of this dying saint. I often, espe-
cially after witnessing this scene, endeavoured to de-
scribe to such as attended preaching, the power of
religion to sustain the soul in the last earthly conflict ;
but they were incredulous as to the facts, or ascribed
them to some strange enthusiasm which buoyed up
the soul in a preternatural manner. But here there
was no enthusiasm — nothing approaching to what
may be called a heated imagination. All Was sober
— all was serene — all was gentle — all was rational ;
and, although five and forty years have passed since
this scene was witnessed, the impression on my mind,
is distinct and vivid. The indescribable countenance,
calm but animated, pale with disease, but lighted up
with an unearthly smile ; the sweet and affection-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 233

ate tones of voice — the patient, submissive, cheerful,
grateful temper, are all remembered with a vividness
and permanence with which I remember nothing of
recent occurrence. When I think of such scenes, I
have often thought and said, "if this be delusion, then
let my soul for ever remain under such delusion."

If the foregoing was a sample of the death-bed ex-
ercises of all Christians, then would I say, that his last
days are his best days, and the day of death happier
than the day of birth. This, however, is far from
being a true view of the general fact. It is a select
case — one of a thousand — upon the whole, the hap-
piest death I ever witnessed. I have, indeed, seen
dying persons agitated with a kind of delirious rapture;
in which the imagination has been so excited, that the
person looked and spoke, as if the objects of another
world were actually present to the view. In such
case, the nervous system loses its tone, and when the
general feelings are pious, and the thoughts directed
heavenward, the whole system is thrilled with an inde-
scribable emotion. And we have a number of record-
ed death-scenes, which partake of this character ; and
are greatly admired and extolled by the injudicious
and fanatical. Scenes of this kind are frequently the
effect of disease, and sometimes of medicine operating
on the idiosyncrasy of particular persons. Such per-
sons may be pious, but the extraordinary exhilaration
and exstasy, of which they are the subjects, ought not
to be ascribed to supernatural influence, but to physical
causes. Between such experiences, and the case de-
scribed above, there is no more resemblance, than
between a blazing meteor, which soon burns itself out,
and the steady, genial beams of the vernal sun. I
once witnessed an extraordinary scene of this kind in
a skeptic, who neglected religion, and scoffed at its
professors, till very near the close of life ; and then
seemed to be agitated and exhilarated with religious
ideas and feelings, leading him to profess his faith in
Christ, and to rejoice, and exult in the assurance of
salvation, and all this without any previous conviction
of sin, and unmingled at the time with deep penitential

20*

234 THOUGHTS ON

feelings. Well, why might it not have been an in-
stance of sovereign grace, like that of the thief on the
cross ? It is possible. As in life, that piety which is
founded on knowledge, and in which the faculties of
the mind continue to be well balanced, and the judg-
ment sound, is by far the least suspicious; so those
death-bed exercises, which are of a similar character,
are much to be preferred to those which are flighty,
and in which reason seems to regulate the helm no
longer ; but an excited, and irregular imagination as-
sumes the government of the man. According to this
rule, some glowing narratives of death-scenes will be
set aside, as, if not spurious, yet not deserving to be
admired and celebrated as they often are.

CHAPTER XVII.

Death bed Exercises of Andrew Rivet.

I propose now to give a summary view of the re-
corded experiences of several eminent persons on
their death-bed ; and as comparisons among the living
are odious, so also among the dead. I will endeavour
to act the part of an impartial and faithful narrator,
but having given my analysis I will leave my readers
to judge respecting the genuineness of the devotion
of the persons whose exercises shall he introduced.
Our accounts of the death-scenes of the apostles are
too brief to enable us to say much about them ; but
judging from their epistles, we may conclude, that
they met death, not only with firmness, but with joy.
Not one of them ever expresses the least fear of death;
but on the contrary, Paul speaks with exultation
of the prospect before him ; for he exclaims, " I am
now ready to be offered up and the time of my
departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight,
I have finished my course, I have kept the faith;

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 235

henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of right-
eousness, which God, the righteous Judge, will give
me at that day, and not to me only but to all who
love his appearing." And Peter who knew that he
was to go out of the world by a violent death as
Christ had showed him ; yet seems to be- no how
troubled about it, but when old, speaks of it with the
utmost composure. "Yea, I think it meet," says he,
"as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you up by
putting you in remembrance ; knowing that shortly
I must put off this my tabernacle, even as our Lord
Jesus Christ hath showed me." No doubt, John, the
beloved disciple, sweetly fell asleep, with " love" upon
his lips and in his heart. His whole soul seems to have
been dissolved into love, and to such a man death
could have no terrors. His brother James, who was
slain by the sword of Herod, is the only one of the
apostles of whose death we have an account in the
sacred word ; except the awful account of the suicide
of the traitor. Of the circumstances of the death of
James, who seems to have been one of the most dis-
tinguished, and who always, when a selection was
made to witness any particular scene, was one of them;
the historian, with characteristic brevity, says, " Now
about that time, Herod the king, stretched forth
his hands to vex certain of the church. And he

KILLED JAMES, THE BROTHER OF JOHN, WITH THE

sword." From this we may learn, that in order to
go safely to heaven, it is not necessary, that we
should have a laudatory obituary on earth. I have
often been shocked with the thought, that while a
man's eulogy is pronounced upon earth, the poor
soul may be writhing and blaspheming in the tor-
ments of hell ! Among the primitive members of the
Church, Stephen was the first martyr, and his death
was — I will not say heroic — for heroes know nothing
of Christ or heaven — but I will say it was Christian,
which is a much better style of dying, than any of the
heathen heroes or heroines knew any thing about.
He was well prepared, for he had just before been
favoured with a direct view into heaven, and saw

236 THOUGHTS ON

Christ on the right hand of God. No wounds on the
body would be felt by one absorbed in such a hea-
venly vision. 0 how little can they harm us, who
can do no more than kill the body! They rushed upon
the man and hurried him to the place of execution,
and stoned him, " calling on [God,] and saying,
Lord Jesus, receive my spirit. And he kneeled down
and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin
to their charge. And when he had said this, he
fell asleep. " There was nothing wanting here to
render this a glorious death. And as he is called the
protomartyr, so his death was a prototype' of the
deaths of succeeding martyrs. The accounts given of
the joys and triumphs of some of them, approximate
to miracle ; but we know not how insensible to bodily
pain, the soul may be rendered, which is overflowing
with the love of Christ. This is the true secret of
their ambition to be crucified or burnt, or cast to the
wild beasts. But as these martyrs seem to have been
another race of men from us, and lived in times very
different from ours, let us come down and contem-
plate the dying Christian in circumstances similar to
our own ; and see what grace can do, in these latter
days. And I propose to select the experiences of men
of different countries. The accounts which I shall
bring forward are not new : to some of my readers
they may all be familiar ; but as the men were eminent
in the church, and distinguished for talents, their bi-
ographies being commonly known, will answer the end
in view, better than the death-bed exercises of un-
known persons, of whose lives we could have no satis-
factory information.

The first person of whose dying exercises I propose
to give a condensed narrative is Andrew Rivet, a
Frenchman by birth and education, but who spent
the greater part of his life in Holland ; where, at Ley-
den, he was professor of theology. The learned need
not be informed, that in that age when theology was
more thoroughly studied, than in any other since the
apostles' days, Andrew Rivet had no superior, whether
you contemplate him as an exegetical or polemi-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 237

cal theologian. His acquaintance with the Christian
fathers was most exact and extensive ; and he knew
how to estimate their labours, and what deference
was due to their authority, of which he gave full evi-
dence, in the work entitled Critici Sacri, which is
now the best guide on this subject, which the young
theologian can follow. Rivet's theology was as sound
as it was extensive. His great learning did not turn
his head or lead him into heresy ; but it will be seen
by the following narrative abridged from Middleton,
how little value he set on all his learning, compared
with the teaching of the divine Spirit.

Having preached a sermon on Christmas day, he
was, immediately afterwards, taken ill, with a con-
stipation of the bowels. Of a beloved niece, who
attended on him, he asked what she thought of his
disease, which he thought would prove mortal. She
answered, that she was of the same opinion, but that
he had nothing to fear, having been long prepared to
follow God, when he should call — and that his life had
already been long, and nothing remained to be desired,
but that it should be crowned with a happy and glo-
rious end ! "Thou speakest right," said he, "and I
pray thee always address thyself to me with like
speeches, and while my sickness continues, depart
not from me, day nor night. Promise me now that
thou wilt keep a cheerful countenance, and that thou
wilt speak nothing to me, but what may administer
joy and support to me. Although I fear not death,
yet I fear the trial of those pains which I have always
had a very sharp feeling of." Then, suddenly turn-
ing his speech unto God, he said, " Great God, thou
art my Father, thou hast given me both life and a
new life ; thou hast taught me from my youth, and
I have declared thy wonderful works ; forsake me
not now in my old age. Hitherto, through thy pecu-
liar favour, thou hast preserved me sound in my body
and my faculties, and the functions of my mind have
not been impaired, so that a little before I was op-
pressed by this disease, I found myself as apt and
ready for the exercise of my vocation, as in my flour-

238 THOUGHTS ON

ishing youth. 0 Lord God ! if it be thy will that I
should longer attend upon thy service, thou canst
assuage my disease in one moment ; but if thou hast
decreed otherwise, thy ivill be done. This one thing
I beg with most inward affections, that thou wilt make
me conformable to thy good will — let not thy good
Spirit depart from me, that in this conflict thy strength
may make me a conqueror ; accomplish this, 0 Lord,
for thine own sake, and since thou hast employed me
in thy work, grant that I may die an honourable
death, and such as may be an example unto others :
that I may stand fast in that sound doctrine which I
have taught, and may make a good confession thereof
before witnesses — that thereby thy church may be
both instructed and edified. Let me apply to myself
by a lively faith, all the promises of the gospel, and
let them put forth their efficacy in me, unto my joy
and eternal consolation, that nothing in the world,
neither affliction nor distress, may separate me from
thee, or cause me to doubt of thy love and favour.
Thou knowest my weakness and infirmities : permit
not the grievousness of my pain to cast me into impa-
tience or murmuring. Either make my pains tolerable,
or furnish me with fortitude and constancy sufficient
to bear them : that I may not offend with my tongue,
keep thou the door of my lips !t; The pains of his
disease were very great, but he continued to call upon
God for help and for support. His expressions of his
own sinfulness and weakness were of the most abas-
ing kind. Confessing himself to be a miserable sinner,
and casting away all confidence in any good thing
which he had done in his life, he accused his own
defects, and ascribed unto God all the good which he
had ever done, often repeating such expressions as
these : " It is God that hath wrought the work for
me ; shall I allege or plead my own righteousness
before Him ? Far be that from me. If I should jus-
tify myself, my own mouth would condemn me. I
will rather open my sin before Him in a most hum-
ble confession of it, and pray that He will increase in
me the grace of true repentance ; yea, let Him wear

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 239

out this body with sorrow, it matters not, so He give
to me a broken and a contrite spirit, which is a sacri-
fice acceptable unto himself. As for my part, I do
most willingly offer up myself. Accept, 0 Lord, this
imperfect sacrifice, and supply the defects thereof by
the perfect righteousness of that great High Priest,
who, through the eternal Spirit, offered himself unto
God without spot. Let me be accepted as a living
sacrifice, holy, and well pleasing unto God, which is
our reasonable service. Crucify, 0 Lord, this old man,
that the body of sin may be utterly destroyed, and
that I may rise to newness of life. The wages of sin
is death, but the gift of God is eternal life, through
Jesus Christ, our Lord." He repeated the word
gift, and added, " it is mere grace, not of works, but
of him that calleth." " Who shall lay any thing to
the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifeth.
Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that
died; yea, rather, that is risen again, who is even at
the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession
for us."

After a short sleep, he proceeded, in the following
strain : " I am God's, and He will save me. He hath
honoured me with a holy calling, and hath not suffered
his gift to be altogether useless in me, as to the edifi-
cation of his church. As to myself, I can most 'truly
affirm, that I have not served Him for filthy lucre,
but with a sincere heart ; and that I myself was first
persuaded of the truth of the gospel, before I preached
it to others. I tasted the good word of God, which,
by its power, pierceth to the dividing asunder of soul
and spirit, and is a discerner of the thoughts and in-
tents of the heart. Thou hast known my heart, 0
eternal God ! Thou knowest that I am not ashamed
of the gospel of Christ, but have esteemed it my only
honour to serve thee ; and that I have delighted my-
self in the pleasure of obeying thy will. Such was
thy goodness to me. I truly and humbly acknow-
ledge that whatsoever good thing was in me, flowed
from thy grace ; but my defects ought to be ascribed
to my inbred corruption. Alas! I acknowledge this

240 THOUGHTS ON

with humble and serious repentance. How often
have I sinned in so holy a charge, not only by omit-
ting many things which I ought to have done, but
also by doing many things amiss. Long since had
I been cast off, were it not that I had to do with so
good a Lord, who hath borne with me, and hath
been so gracious to me, as not to exact a severe
account of my words and works. Alas ! 0 Lord my
God! enter not into judgment with thy servant; for
in thy sight shall no man living be justified. Let me
be found, not having my own righteousness, but the
righteousness of thy Son ; for the sake of whom I beg
thy favour. Pardon, 0 my God ! pardon the iniquity
of thy servant, who is devoted to thy fear. I refuse
not thy discipline — I know it is necessary. Only
this I earnestly beg, that it may turn to my salva-
tion. < Chasten me, 0 Lord, but in measure, lest
thou bring me to nothing/ Let not my trial exceed
my strength, lest I sin through impatience, and be-
come a scandal to those I should edify." He uttered
many similar expressions, for which we have not
room.

To Renessius, a doctor of divinity, who came to see
him, he said, " I pray you testify unto all men, that I
die in the faith and the doctrine which I have always
delivered, both in preaching and writing; and if in
some things I have erred, I pray God, that He will
make perfect all my imperfections."

He received the visits of all who expressed a desire
to see him, and would have none hindered from
coming to him. " Let all that will," said he, " have
access to visit me. I ought to give an example of
dying to other men." And to those who stood around
his bed, he said, " Come, see a man, who is an example
of the great mercy of God. What shall I render unto
him? All his benefits overwhelm me. He hath
so disposed my life, that in my whole course, I have
had a healthy body. He hath heaped upon me both
temporal and spiritual blessings; and now, before I
am rendered feeble or morose, through old age, he
comes unto me and prevents me. He has both called

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 241

me, and made me willing to follow at his call. And
now, when the end of my life is within my view, he
still affords me the perfect use of reason, that I may
praise my God in the land of the living, and instruct
my neighbours by my example. Pray for me, my
friends, that this grace may be continued unto me, un-
til I draw my last breath; that He will strengthen my
faith, confirm my patience, and raise my hope. He
hath already captivated all my affections to his will.
I have cast the care of me, of mine, of life, and all my
affairs, upon him. Let him do with my body as it
pleaseth him, so it may but be well with my soul.
* * * And now there is nothing I am concerned
about, neither is my life dear unto me, so that I may
finish my course with joy, and fulfil the ministry which
I have received of the Lord ; which is best done at the
last."

He would not permit any clergyman who came to
see him, to go away without praying with him. It
grieved him much that his wife, who was of feeble
health, should be subjected to so much fatigue and
watchfulness in attending on him. But as she was
unwilling to leave him, he said, "Since thou wilt
have it so, tarry; it is a pleasure to me to see thee.
The Lord strengthen thee !" Friday night was spent
in grievous pains, and in most ardent prayers for the
church of God, for the princes, who were defenders of
it, for the people that lived under their jurisdiction,
and for the pastors, to whom the care of souls was
committed. He seemed to be greatly interested in be-
half of the United Provinces of Holland. * 0 God,"
said he, " withdraw not thy protection from these
Provinces; neither remove thy candlestick away.
Let not thine anger burn against them, because of
that impiety and profaneness which hath made too
great a progress. Rather bow their hearts unto re-
pentance, and convert them, that thy judgments may
be prevented. Let them coalesce in one body; espe-
cially let them be joined unto thee, without whom
all union is but conspiracy. Preside in their Assem-
bly; and bend their hearts, so that all their decrees

21

242 THOUGHTS ON

may lean to the good of the Commonwealth, and
especially of the church/' &c.

His sufferings were exceedingly great, but he bore
them with wonderful patience, and whenever there
was the least interval of ease, he was engaged in
prayer or exhortation. On the last day of Decem-
ber, which closed the current year, Mr.. Rivet, after
having endured indescribable agonies from the dis-
ease, and from the remedies made use of, offered
up the following fervent prayer for the church : — " O
Lord, it is thy possession, which thou hast purchased,
with thy own blood. Forsake not thy own work —
let a holy jealousy be kindled in thee. Lift up on
high the arms of thy power, and bring down the
audacious ones, which tyrannize over thy flock. Re-
buke thou the negligent that heal her wounds slight-
ly. Reduce in the right way those that wander,
and strengthen those ready to fall through division.
Gather both the one and the other to thyself, into one
body, building them up upon the foundations of the
apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the
chief corner stone, in whom all the building fitly
framed together, groweth into a holy temple in the
Lord."' And then making a little pause, he said, " I
have been one of those builders ; I have brought what
I received from the Lord that I might put to my
helping hand, with others, towards the building of
the temple; and I myself shall be a living stone in
the house."

On the first day of the year 1651, and the Lord's
day, upon opening his eyes, he said, " 0 Lord, thou
hast granted me to see the beginning of the year.
Thou hast measured out my time until the middle of
this age." Having sent to the Hague for his son, he
inquired respecting the weather, and being informed
that the cold was sharp and severe, he prayed thus,
" 0 my God, bring my son unto me, that I may see
him, embrace him, and bless him, before I die."
Then turning to his wife, he said, " dost thou think
that this earnest desire to see my son proceeds from
mere natural affection ? Nothing less. Truly I love

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 243

no man any more according to the flesh. I earnestly
desire his eternal salvation, and I hope to have such
discourses with him, which may increase his zeal in
adorning his spiritual vocation." (His son was a
minister.) "I have yet spirit and utterance sufficient
for this work. Let none be hindered from coming to
me. It is usual for a man in my station, by admon-
ishing others, publicly to make profession of his own
faith. Not for the sake of a little vain-glory, 0 Lord,
thou knowest ; for it little concerns me to be approved
unto men, provided I may approve myself unto God.
But I desire the salvation of many, and to give testi-
mony to the truth of those things which I have pub-
licly taught."

Some officers of the garrison having come to see
him, two or three of whom were from France, he
addressed them in the following manner, "I rejoice
that I have an opportunity to make a confession of
my faith before you that are my countrymen ; and I
pray you to keep it in memory, and give testimony of
it, where it shall be necessary. You see before you,
a man, weak indeed, but without guile, who solemnly
protesteth, that he hath never published in his writ-
ings, nor taught with his lips> any thing that did not
agree with the sense of his heart, and the doctrine
which hath been delivered to us by the prophets and
apostles, which is the same with that laid down in
the Confession of Faith of our churches, in which I
have lived, and in which I purpose to die. The Lord
God Almighty confirm you in that faith, so that no-
thing may move you from it. < For what will it pro-
fit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his
own soul ?' Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and
the righteousness thereof, and then all other things
shall be added unto you. Learn to number your
days, and get a wise heart. Look upon me, and let
me be as an example unto you. It is but eight days
since I preached to you of man's frailty, being myself
in health and lively at that time, and now you see
the truth of what I said, in myself." And then taking
leave of them he said, "The Lord deliver you from

244 THOUGHTS ON

the allurements of the world, and give you an increase
of his fear and of all spiritual gifts."

When his visiters were all gone, and his own fa-
mily stood around his bed, he said to his niece, "My
daughter, do not depart from me, but persist with me
in the duty of prayer. Do not fear to rehearse all
those words to me, which God shall suggest unto thy
heart or mouth. This sweet and pleasing communi-
cation shall help to pass over the night with the
more ease. And God will be with us and assist our
good intentions. He will help our weaknesses and
afford us matter of supplications, and thanksgivings.
Such discourses are pleasing unto him. He attends
unto them that fear him, when they talk together of
those things that belong to the salvation of their
souls." And then, as one in a rapture, he exclaim-
ed, " My God, thou hast drawn me and I was drawn.
Thou hast known me from my mother's womb with
a merciful and efficacious knowledge. Thou hast
called me by name. Thou hast bored mine ears, and
I was attentive. I have declared thy message in the
congregation, and thy word was sweeter than honey
in my mouth. Who am I, 0 God, but dust and ashes,
an earthen and a frail vessel, into which, notwithstand-
ing, thou hast been pleased to pour a holy liquor, and
seed of immortality. Thou livest, and thou makest
me to live. I shall not die, but live for ever, with
that < life which is hid with Christ in God/ Blessed
and holy is he who hath a part in the first resurrec-
tion : over him the second death shall have no power.
6 Behold I am dead, and also raised from the dead. I
live, but not in myself, but in the life of the Son of
God, who loved me, and gave himself for me/ Thou
hast chosen me before thou gavest me a being. And
it pleased thee that I should be born of believing
parents, and especially of a mother eminent in holi-
ness, who dedicated me to thy service from my ten-
der years. With what care and affection did she
implant the seeds of piety in me. And the Almighty
God, who worketh in all, gave his blessing to this
diligent nurture, and heard her ardent prayers; and

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 245

my ministry hath been accepted of him. I am thy
servant, 0 my God, thou hast taught me from my
youth ; and I have taught thy wonderful works, and
thy grace unto this day ; for thy gifts have not been
without fruit in me. Thou usest weak instruments
for the accomplishing of thy work. Thou hast par-
doned, thou hast helped me, thou hast accepted the
truth and sincerity of my heart. And now, 0 my
God, seeing it is evident that thou wilt have me retire
from this valley of miseries, do not thou forsake me
in this last and important act. If it be thy will,
that I die, that also is my will. I am ready — my
heart is prepared. I give thee my heart, for that is it
which thou requirest. L'et this gift be approved by
thee. Receive this gift which is thy own, from him
to whom thou hast given all things — who gives him-
self to thee. 0 Lord, I give thee thanks; thou in-
structest me, thou enlightenest me, thou talkest with
my soul, 0 Lord. Thou embracest me in the arms of
thy mercy. Grant also that I may embrace thee, by
a lively faith, and that I may apply unto myself the
promises of the gospel, which I have proposed unto
others. Let them be effectual in me, that by them
I may be supported against all pains, yea, death
itself."

Mr. Rivet had a brother in the ministry nearly as
eminent as himself, whom he loved with a very sin-
cere and tender affection. The niece who now attend-
ed on him, was the daughter of this brother, and that
he might know the gracious dealings of God towards
him in his sickness, he requested his niece to write
down whatever he might say, from time to time, and
communicate it to her father. " Not," says he, " that
I would procure praise to myself, but I would have it
known to all, that the religion which I have professed
and taught in the name of God, is the true religion,
and that alone which leads men unto salvation ; and,
particularly, I would have my brother informed of
that inestimable grace which I have received of God,
that he may be abundantly comforted and strengthen-
ed in his expectation of a better life, which I already

21*

246 THOUGHTS ON

enjoy. 0 ! with how great love have I loved and
esteemed him ! Yea, I have loved the gifts of God in
him, and shall love them to the last. I pray God,
who is the giver of every good gift, that he will
strengthen and make perfect his own work in him.
0 Lord God, I pray not only for my brother, but for
all those in France to whom thou hast committed the
conduct and rule of the churches. Bless their persons,
sanctify their gifts, grant that they may return to the
simplicity which is in Christ, and that they detract not
from the glory of God, to ascribe unto man what be-
longs to his salvation." He now broke out in an
extraordinary transport, " 0 great and immense mer-
cy ! who can but be rapt into admiration ? He gives
both being and well-being, — he bestows his gifts, he
supporteth, he pardoneth, he worketh in us both to
will and to do, according to his good pleasure, and
when himself hath given and wrought all this, yet
he gives to us an eternal reward." But not satisfied
with sending messages to his brother, on the second day
of January he requested to be raised up and placed
in a chair, that he might write to him ; and, accord-
ingly, he penned, with his own hand, a farewell letter,
full of solemnity and tenderness. He wrote also to
his nephew, — after which exertion he found himself
much exhausted. But the only thing w^hich gave
him any uneasiness of mind, was, lest he should be
disappointed in seeing his son. But his comforts
were not uninterrupted. After his regular physicians
had given him up, some persons who had known
relief, in such cases, from a particular remedy, urged
that it should be tried. He submitted, but while the
experiment put him to great pain, it produced no
change for the better ; and when it was over, his mind
appeared to be perturbed and uncomfortable. "Alas!"
said he, " He is departed from me, that made glad my
heart. I have grieved that Holy Spirit, the comforter,
who had filled my soul with peace and joy. I have
been so wretched and unhappy as to give ear to those
who spoke to me of my returning to the world. I
have been tickled with the desire of living, and how

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 247

could such a thing be, after the fruits of the heavenly-
Canaan had been tasted ?" Here he appeared much
distressed, and casting his arms about the neck of his
beloved niece, exclaimed, "my dear niece, help me,
continue to discourse of good things to me. — Call
upon the Comforter to return and renew that excel-
lent work which he had begun in me. 0, return! re-
turn ! confirm me with thy strength before I go hence
and be seen no more." He remained in this state of
distress for a short time — when he was reminded of
the precious promises of God ; but being exhausted, he
fell into a swoon. When he opened his eyes, he said
to his wife, who was by him, " my dearest yoke-fel-
low, we have lived together in peace for thirty years,
and I thank thee for thy help, which hath been a
great comfort unto me, for I did cast all domestic
cares on thee ; continue, I beseech thee, to love my
children with that pious affection which thou hast
hitherto," (the children were by a former wife.)
Then turning to his son, who had arrived that morn-
ing, he said, " and thou my son, love and honour this
dearest companion of my life, the partner of all my
joys and my sorrows, who hath done the duty of a
mother towards thee. — This I desire of thee, and this I
command thee, as thou expectest a blessing from God
upon what I have gotten for my labour, — divide it
between you, without quarrelling or contention, ac-
cording to what is just and right." Then taking hold
of both their hands and joining them together, he
said, " promise that you will maintain a holy and mu-
tual friendship with each other," — to which they
gave their assent. Then turning to his wife, he said,
" the Lord bless thee, my dear love, and strengthen
thee. He is a husband to the widow, and a father of
the fatherless."

And to his son, " The Almighty Father bless thee,
my son, guide thee in all thy ways, enrich thee with
all Christian virtues, and plentifully make thee to
abound in all spiritual and temporal blessings ! Re-
gard not the world, nor its deceitful hopes, for the
world passeth away, and the lusts thereof. Place all

248 THOUGHTS ON

thy felicity in the blessing of God. Be strong in faith,
and prepared unto every good work. Let the peace
of God dwell in thee, and make thee peaceable and
kind." And to his niece, he said, " Farewell, my dear
niece, we have a kindred in the heavens, which shall
endure for ever."

After many other discourses, similar to those recor-
ded, he again collected his family and blessed them,
and desired all to retire and leave him alone. His
niece, who scarcely ever went out of his sight, asked
if he wished her to withdraw also. He said, " Do not
go from me, but be thou a witness of my last hours."
After he had exhausted himself with conversation
with his son, Mr. Hulsius, and others, he was asked
how he did. He said, " Very well — I feel no pain — I
am filled with the grace of God — I am not sensible of
cold or heat— I fear, no more, the inconveniences of
temporal life— the Spirit of God strengthens me, and
affords me abundant consolations. I have no doubt
of my salvation. He hath set me on high. He hath
hid me in his hiding place. He hath fenced me round
about, and hath perfected whatsoever concerns me. I
am like a vessel filled with pure water which no
agitation troubles. It is God that justifieth me, who
shall condemn ? It is Christ that died, yea rather is
risen again." * * * " 0 my God, I thank thee that
thou hast given me the spirit of humility, sincerity
and truth. I have not been as a tinkling cymbal. 0
Lord, thou kno west the secrets of my soul, and my
inmost thoughts. Thou hast taught me in the school
of true doctrine, and I have above all sought the glory
of thy name. 0 Lord, I wait for the moment which
thou hast determined. I believe, I persevere, I am not
troubled. The Spirit of God witnesseth with my
spirit that I am a child of God."

Though every day was expected to be his last, yet
the strength of his constitution enabled him to hold
out until Saturday, January 7, 1651. To the last, he
continued to spend his whole time, when awake, in
prayer, and in such discourses as we have recorded.
On Thursday morning, when he saw the light of day,

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 249

he said, "It is day-light. I shall shortly no more
know the difference between day and night. I am
come to the eve of that great and eternal day, and am
going to that place, where the sun shall no more give
light. God will be an everlasting light unto me ; and
already, 0 Lord, thou sendest the rays of that light
into my soul, and openest my eyes that I may perceive
them. 0 how powerfully dost thou work in me !
While this old man decays, thou puttest on me the new
man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image
of him that created it. Deliver me from this prison,
that I may celebrate thy name ; yet neither do I so
contemn this body, as not to think of its restoration ;
for I know the dead shall live, yea, my dead body. It
is sown in corruption, it shall be raised in incorruption;
it is sown a vile body, but it will rise a glorious body ;
it is sown in weakness, but it shall be raised again in
power. In a word, it shall be conformed to the glorious
body of our Lord Jesus Christ, who is become the first
fruits of them that sleep. I shall see him in my flesh
— mine own eyes shall see him — I shall behold his face
in righteousness, and shall be satisfied with his like-
ness when I awake." The whole of this day was
spent in such like discourses. Among other things, he
said, "The sense of divine favour increaseth in me
every moment. My pains are tolerable, and my joys
inestimable. I am no more vexed with earthly cares.
I remember when any new book came out, how earn-
estly I have longed after it — but now all that is but
dust. Thou art my all, 0 Lord, my good is to ap-
proach unto thee. 0, what a library have I in God,
in whom are all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge !
Thou art the teacher of spirits — I have learned more
divinity in these ten days that thou hast come to visit
me, than I did in fifty years before." The last words
he attempted to utter, were those of Paul, " I have
fought a good fight," &c. and when others assisted him
to finish them, he said, Amen.

250 THOUGHTS ON

CHAPTER XVIII.

Death- bed exercises and speeches of the Rev. Thomas Halyburton.

Having in a former chapter given an account of
Halyburton's conversion, written by himself, in ma-
ture age, it will be gratifying to the pious reader to
learn how he ended his course ; and how his religion
sustained him in the last trying conflict. And here,
as in the case of Rivet, much opportunity was given
to this holy man to leave behind him an ample testi-
mony of the preciousness of the Lord Jesus Christ,
and of the power of divine grace to support and com-
fort the true believer, even in the pangs of dissolu-
tion. When first seized with mortal sickness, he
experienced, for a while, a terrible conflict, in which
he was afraid that his faith would fail ; but his God
was merciful and faithful to his promises, and came
to his relief. To one who came to see him, he said,
" I have a great conflict, and my faith is like to fail.
0 that I may be kept now in this last trial, that is
ensuing, from being an offence to God and his peo-
ple." When some of his brethren came to see him,
he said, " I am but young, and have but little experi-
ence, but this death-bed now makes me old, and
therefore I use the freedom to exhort you to faithful-
ness in the Lord's work. You will never repent this.
He is a good Master, I have always found him so.
If I had a thousand lives, I would think them all too
little to employ in his service." But for several days
he was under a cloud, and his spiritual joys had de-
serted him ; and when a friend came in, he said, " 0
what a terrible conflict I had yesterday; but now I
can say, '< I have fought the good fight, I have kept
the faith.' Now he has filled my mouth with a new
song. < Jehovah Jireh, in the mount of the Lord/
Praise, praise is comely for the upright. Shortly I
shall get a different view of God from what I have

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 251

ever had, and shall be more qualified to praise him
than ever. 0! the thoughts of an incarnate God are
sweet and ravishing. And how do I wonder at my-
self that I do not love him more. 0 that I could
honour him ! What a wonder that I enjoy so much
composure under all my bodily trouble, and in view
of approaching death. 0 what a mercy, that I have
the use of my reason till I have declared his goodness
unto me." To his wife he said, " He came to me in
the third watch of the night, walking upon the waters,
and he said unto me, ' I am Alpha and Omega, the
beginning and the end. I was dead and am alive, and
live for ever more, and have the keys of hell and
death.' < He stilleth the tempest, and 0 there is a
sweet calm in my soul/ " To one who requested him
to be careful of his health, he replied, " I'll strive to
last as long as I can, and I'll get my rest ere it be
long. I have no more to do with time, but carefully
to measure it out for the glory of God." Then he
said, " I shall see my Redeemer stand on the earth at
the last day ; but I hope to see him before that, the
Lamb in the midst of the throne. 0 it will be a beau-
tiful company, < The spirits of just men made perfect,
and Jesus the Mediator of the New Covenant. 0 for
grace, grace, to be patient to the end.' " When one
said, " Keep the light of the window from him," he
said, " Truly light is sweet, and a pleasant thing it is
to behold the sun — the Sun of Righteousness. 0
glorious light, when the Lamb is the light of the temple.
We cannot have a conception of it now, eye hath
not seen, nor ear heard," &c. Seeing his youngest
child, he caused them to bring her to him, and said,
" Mary, my dear, the Lord bless you. The God of
your father and of my father bless you. — The God
that fed me all my life, the Angel that redeemed
me from all evil, bless you and the rest, and be your
portion. That is a goodly heritage, better than if I
had crowns and sceptres to leave you. My child, I
received you from him, and I give you to him again."
To his wife he said, " Encourage yourself in the Lord.
He will keep you, even though you come into ene-

252 THOUGHTS ON

mies' hands, surely he will cause the enemy to treat
you well." He then declared his willingness to part
with his dearest relatives, and said, " For this is the
practical part of religion ; to make use of it when we
come to the strait. This is a lesson of practical divin-
ity." When the physician came in, he addressed
him in the following solemn and pungent language ;
" Doctor, as to this piece of work, you are nearly at an
end with it. I wish you to lay it to heart ; death will
come to your door also. And it is a business of great
moment to die like a Christian ; and it is a rare thing.
Christ himself has told us that there are few that shall
be saved even among them who are outwardly called.
I wish the Lord himself may show you kindness.
The greatest kindness I am now capable of showing
you is, to recommend serious religion to you. There
is a reality in religion, doctor, but this is an age that
hath lost the sense of it. < He has not said to the
house of Jacob, seek ye my face in vain.' Atheists
will one day see whether it be so or not. I bless God
that I was educated by godly parents in the principles
of the Church of Scotland. I bless him that when
I came to riper years, I did, on mature deliberation,
make these principles my choice. I bless the Lord,
I have been helped ever since to adhere to them,
without wavering. I bless him that I have seen, that
holiness yields peace and comfort in prosperity and
adversity. What should I seek more, or desire more
to give me evidence of the reality of religion ? There-
fore I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ; for
it is the power of God unto salvation to every one
that believeth. I am so far from altering my thoughts
of religion by reason of the present contempt thrown
on it, and opposition made to it, that these things
endear it the more to me." After much more of
the same kind, he said, " Well, doctor, the Lord be
with you, and persuade you to be in earnest. I
return you thanks for your attention." After a
pause, he proceeded; "Every one that is in Christ
Jesus must be a new creature : he must have union
with Christ and a new nature. That is the ground-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 253

work of religion. The Christian religion is little
understood by the most of us. 0 ! the gospel of
Christ, how purely was it preached in this place,
when I was at the University ; though I found not
the sweetness of it, at that time, as I have found it
since. It has fallen on me like showers on the mown
grass. Verily there is a reality in religion. Few
have lively impressions of it. Now get acquaintance
with God. The little acquaintance I have had with
God these two days, has more than ten thousand
times repaid the pains I have in all my life taken
about religion. It is a good thing to have God to go
to, when we are turning our face to the wall.
'He is known for a refuge in the palaces of Zion, a
very present help in trouble.' 0 ! there is a strange
hardness in the heart of man/'

To his children, he said, "My children, I have no-
thing to say to you, but that ye be seekers of God.
Fulfil my joy. Alas ! that I was so long in beginning
to seek God ! and yet I was touched with convictions
that God was seeking me, before I arrived at the
years of some of you." To his eldest daughter he
said, "Margaret, you seem sometimes to have con-
victions ; beware of them — they are the most danger-
ous things you ever meddled with: for although you
may seek not God, every one of them is God's messen-
ger; and if you despise God's messenger, he will be
avenged on you. My dear, seek the Lord, and be
your mother's comfort."

He requested that the 138th of Mr. Rutherford's
letters should be read to him, and then said, " This is
a book I would recommend to you all ; there is more
practical religion in that letter, than in some large
volumes."

When the three ministers of the place came to see
him, he addressed them with great fidelity and affec-
tion : — " Dear brethren, it is not from any confidence
in myself, but out of a sincere love to you, and from
what I myself have experienced, that for your encou-
ragement I presume to say, when the Lord helped
me to diligence in studying and meditating, I found

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254 THOUGHTS ON

him then remarkably shining upon me, and testifying
his approbation of a sincere mind. There is nothing
to be had with a slack hand." And to one of them
who had recently entered the ministry, " Your entry
into the ministry, is likely to fall on an evil day ; but
there is one thing for your encouragement : you have
a call. The times will make hard work for you in
this place ; but that which makes your work the
harder is, that the people are hardened under a long
course of pure gospel ordinances. However, be
faithful, and God will strengthen his own work. I
will not say that you will get things brought to the
state you would desire ; but I'll tell you I have one
thought, and Pli abide by it, if ministers will ply
their work, though they cannot bring sinners to the
Lord, they may make their consciences, that a prophet
has been among them, speak for the Lord, whether
they will or not."

"Now, brethren, give diligence, hold fast what ye
have. I must say a word unto my brethren, it is on
my heart. I am young, but I am near the end of my
life, and that makes me old. It becomes me to take
advice from you, however, I only wish to exhort you
to diligence in the common salvation.— I repent I did
no more, but I have peace in reflecting that what I
did, I did sincerely. He accepts of the mite. It was
the delight of my heart to preach the gospel, and it
made me sometimes neglect a frail body. I ever
thought if I could contribute to the saving of a soul,
it would be to me a star, a crown — a glorious crown.
I know this was the thing that I aimed at — I desired
to decrease, that the bridegroom might increase ; and
to be nothing, that He might be all, and I rejoice in
his exaltation." To two ministers who came from
the country, he said, "Brethren, we have need to
take care, with the great apostle, lest when we have
preached Christ to others, we ourselves should be cast-
aways. We have need to fear, lest it be so. Happy
is the man that feareth always. Be diligent in preach-
ing the gospel — let it be your care not only to be dili-
gent in composing sermons, but, above all, to scan

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 255

your own hearts, to enable you to dive into consciences,
to awaken hypocrites, and to separate the precious
from the vile — and to do it with such accuracy as not
to make sad the hearts of those whom God would have
made glad. The great point in religion, and in the
management of your ministry, is, that you may ob-
tain the testimony of the great Shepherd, when he
shall appear. As to the work of the ministry, it was
my delight and my deliberate choice : and were my days
lengthened out much more, and the times as trouble-
some as they are likely to be, I would rather be a con-
temned minister of God, than the greatest prince on
earth. I preached the gospel of Christ with pleasure,
and loved it, for my own soul's salvation was upon it;
and since I lay down, I have not changed my thoughts
about it. I commend it to you all to double your dili-
gence. There may be hard conflicts ; you have a pros-
pect of difficulties between you and the grave. We
all appear good when untried, but we have need to
have on the whole armour of God, to watch and be
sober."

To his successor in the parish which he had served
before he came to the University, he said, "I have
this to say, as to my congregation, that people were
my choice. With much peace and pleasure I preach-
ed as I could, though not as I should, the gospel of
Jesus Christ. Though, in all things, I own myself to
have sinned exceedingly before the Lord, yet I have
the consolation that I anxiously aimed at leading
them to the Lord Jesus, and another foundation can
no man lay. I hope you will build on that same
foundation, for, as you will in that way save your
own soul, so it is "the way to save them that hear you.
From experience I can say, that the pursuing this
sincerely, is the way of salvation. Signify to them,
that if it please the Lord to take me away, I die,
rejoicing in the faith, and in the profession of what I
preached to them, under a low state of body ; and,
that without this I could have no comfort. I would
have my people understand, that the gospel which I
recommended to them, if not received, will be a wit-

256 THOUGHTS ON

ness against them." His successor remarked, " I am
persuaded you have seals to your ministry in that
parish." He answered, " we are like our Master, set
for the fall and rising again of many, though we can
do no more ; if we are faithful, they shall know that a
prophet has been among them."

Mr. Halyburton conversed much with his friends,
and most of his discourses have been preserved, but
we have only room for a small part of what he uttered
on his death-bed. A specimen, however, will serve
to show the spirit of the man, and the state of his
mind, as well as the whole. There are still some of
his dying speeches so excellent, that I cannot think
that their insertion will appear tedious to the pious
reader. But besides his discourses with his friends
and visiters, he drew up a paper in the form of a last
will or testimony, in which he gives at large, his
views of doctrine and worship. The whole of this
paper is highly worthy of attention, but we can only
insert the following extract:

" Every thing in God's way and in his word is
glorious, honourable, and like himself. He needs
none of our testimonies ; but it is the least that we
can do to signify our wishes to have his praises cele-
brated. And I, being so many ways obliged, take
this solemn occasion to acknowledge, before I leave
the world, these, among my other innumerable
obligations ; and I desire to bequeath this as my last,
best legacy, to my family, even my serious and solemn
advice, that they should make choice of God for their
God. He has been my father's God: the God both
of my wife's predecessors and mine ; and he has been,
we hope, our God; and I recommend him to my
children, for their God ; solemnly charging them, even
all of them, as they will be answerable on the great
day, to make it their first care, to seek after peace
with God, and reconciliation through Christ crucified ;
and being reconciled, to make it their constant care
to please him in all things. I beseech them with all
the bowels of a father, as they love their souls, that
they sit not down short of a saving acquaintance with

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 257

him; that they wait diligently upon the means of
grace, and attend the worship of God in all duties,
especially secret and family duties, and that they
carefully attend public ordinances. Beware of con-
tenting yourselves with the mere form of these duties,
but cry to the Lord for communion with Him in them ;
and for the outpouring of the Spirit, whereby ye may
be enabled to worship God who is a Spirit, in spirit.
It is my charge to you, and that in which I am more
concerned than in any thing relating to you, that you
follow him fully, without turning to the right hand,
or to the left. In this way I dare promise you bless-
edness. If you follow this way, I do bless you all,
and pray that He who blesses and they are bless-
ed, may bless you all. I have, often as I could,
devoted all of you to God ; and there is nothing I
have so much at heart, as that ye may indeed be the
Lord's. And if ye turn aside from this way, I would
have this be a standing witness against you, in the
day of the Lord. 0 ! that God himself by his grace,
may, in a day of his power, determine your tender
hearts to seek him early; for then will He be a good
portion unto you."

When some people came in to see him, he said,
" For these fourteen or fifteen years, I have been
studying the promises ; but I have seen more of the
book of God this night, than in all that time. 0 the
wisdom that is laid up in the book of God ! I know,
a great deal that comes from a dying man will go for
canting and raving, but I bless God, that he has pre-
served to me the little judgment that I had, and I
have been enabled, with composure, to reflect on his
dealing with me. I am sober and composed, if I
ever was so. And whether men will hear or forbear,
this is my testimony. The operations of the Spirit
of God, are ridiculed in this day ; but if we take away
the operations and influences of the Spirit of God,
in religion, I know not what is left. He promised
the Spirit to lead us into all truth. 0 ! that this gene-
ration would awake to seek after the quickening
influences of the Spirit. 0 ! for a day of the down-

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258 THOUGHTS ON

pouring of the Spirit from on high, in a work of con-
version !— For such a day as that, when the Spirit of
God effectually reached our fathers, and brought forth
great men, and caused others to be conquered by them!
* The residue of the Spirit is with him.' "

The state of the church was much on his mind,
and he was greatly concerned for Scotland, lest a
dry, formal, and merely rational religion should pre-
vail ; of which he saw some symptoms. He ex-
pressed also strong apprehensions that the judgments
of God were about to be inflicted on his country.
The welfare of his pupils also engaged much of his
attention. He often expressed a desire to have them
around him, that he might give them one practical
lecture from his death-bed. But as this could not
be done, it being vacation, he dictated a letter to the
students of theology, in which he gives them solemn
and useful advice. He recommended to them the
perusal of the writings of the great Dr. Owen ; but
immediately added, " But the word of God, in depen-
dence on the Spirit of God, must be your study and
meditation, day and night. Words cannot express
what I have found of God, since I came to this
bed of languishing. I am bold to recommend to
you this work, as the most noble, honourable, and
advantageous you can be employed in. And I
am this day sure, from experience, that it is better
to serve the Lord in the gospel of his Son, than to
serve the greatest princes on earth, in the highest
station. If God help you in this service, the reward
is too great to be expressed. My thoughts, my words
are swallowed up, and my affection toward you is
such, that my body would quite sink to speak what is
in my heart, of love to you, and desire to have you
acquainted with my dearest Lord, to whom I was
always deeply obliged, but am now so much indebted
that I fear to mention how good he has been to my
soul. 0 ! choose him — cleave to him — serve him —
study to know him more and more — live in communion
with him. Never rest until you reach eternal com-
munion with him. I have desired my brother-in-law

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 259

to sign this in my name. I wish nothing more than
that when you have done much service to the church
here, I may have the happiness of hearing you ap-
proved by the Great Shepherd."

As his disease was a pulmonary consumption, he
lasted long, and retained the uninterrupted exercise of
his reason, and after the first severe conflict, of which
mention was made, he enjoyed peace and joy without
intermission, and manifested in various ways, and
particularly by his heavenly discourse, the power of
divine grace, and the eminence of that faith in Christ,
by which he was so remarkably supported to the end.
He lost no opportunity of seeking to benefit all who
approached him, and often addressed himself to his
wife and children individually, in the most tender and
earnest manner. And as many ministers came to see
him, he exercised great fidelity in his solemn exhorta-
tions to them, to be diligent and faithful in the work
of the Lord. At length the powers of nature were
exhausted, and for some days he was in a dying state.
Among his last words were, "Free grace, free grace —
not unto me." And when his speech had utterly
failed, when one said, "I hope you are encouraging
yourself in the Lord," he lifted up his hands and clap-
ped them.

CHAPTER XIX.

Dying Experience of Mr. John Janeway, the Rev. Edward Payson, and
Rev. Samuel Finley, D. D.

Mr. Janeway was a young man who had just enter-
ed the holy ministry, when he was called away, and
exchanged earth for heaven. He was never permit-
ted to preach more than two sermons, before his lungs
were so affected, that he was obliged to cease from his
earthly labours. During his last days, he was absorb-
ed in the contemplation of Christ and heaven. His

260 THOUGHTS ON

meditations, his discourses, his whole deportment,
made it evident, that he was ripening for glory. His
faith had grown up to a full assurance, and he often
feasted on the rich provisions of God's house, and
enjoyed many foretastes of future blessedness. The
Lord often called him up to the mount and let him
see his glory. In the midst of earthly, comforts, he
longed for death, and his thoughts of the day of judg-
ment were refreshing to him. He would say, " What
if the day of judgment were come, even this hour? I
would be glad with all my heart. I should behold
such lightnings, and hear such thunderings as Israel
did at the mount, and I am persuaded, my heart
would leap for joy. The meditation of that day,
hath even ravished my soul ; and the thoughts of its
certainty and nearness, are more refreshing to my
soul, than all earthly comforts. Surely nothing can
more revive my spirit, than to behold the blessed
Jesus, who is the life and joy of my soul." When
he began to sink rapidly under his complaint, his soul
was so devoutly occupied in the contemplation of
Christ and heaven, that he almost forgot his pains and
sickness. His faith, his love, and his joy, exceedingly
abounded. He would frequently exclaim, " 0 ! that
I could let you know what I feel ! 0 ! that I could
show you what I now see ! 0 ! that I could express
the thousandth part of that sweetness which I now
find in Christ ! You would then all think it worth
while to make religion your chief business. 0 ! my
dear friends, you little think what Christ is worth
upon a death-bed. I would not now for a world,
nay, for a million of worlds, be without Christ and
pardon. I would not for a world live any longer,
and the very thought of a possibility of recovery,
makes me tremble. I do tell you, that I so long to
be with Christ, that I could be content to be cut in
pieces, and put to the most exquisite tortures, so I
might die and be with Christ. 0 ! how sweet Jesus
is. i Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly/ Death do thy
worst. Death has lost its terrors. Through grace, I
can say, death is nothing to me. I can as easily die

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 261

as shut my eyes. I long to die — I long to be with
Christ. " He charged his friends most earnestly, not
to pray for his life. " 0 ! the glory, the unspeakable
glory which I behold — my heart is full — my heart is
full. Christ smiles, and I am constrained to smile.
Can you find it in your hearts to stop me, now I am
going to the complete and eternal enjoyment of Christ?
Would you keep me from my crown ? The arms of
my blessed Saviour are open to receive me. The
angels stand ready to carry my soul into his bosom.
0 ! did you see but what I see, you would cry out
with me, « Dear Lord, how long/ ' Come, Lord Jesus,
come quickly/ < 0 ! why are thy chariot wheels so
long in coming V " A minister having spoken to him.
of the joys of heaven, he said, " Sir, I feel something
of it. My heart is as full as it can hold in this lower
state. I can hold no more. 0 ! that I could but let
you know what I feel. Who am I, Lord, who am I,
that thou shouldst be mindful of me ? Why me, Lord,
why me ? and pass by thousands to look on such a
wretch as I ? O ! what shall I say unto thee, thou
Preserver of men ? 0 ! blessed, and for ever blessed,
be free grace. Why is it, Lord, that thou shouldest
manifest thyself unto me and not to others ? < Even
so, Father, because it seemed good in thy sight.' Thou
wilt have mercy, because thou wilt have mercy. And
if thou wilt look on such a worm, who can hinder ?
Who would not love thee, 0 blessed Father? 0 ! how-
sweet and gracious hast thou been to me ! 0 ! that
He should have me in his thoughts before the founda-
tion of the world."

On one occasion, after his brother had been praying
with him, his joys became unutterable ; he broke out
in such exclamations as these, " 0 ! He is come — He
is come — how sweet, how glorious, is the blessed
Jesus ! He is altogether lovely. How shall I speak
the thousandth part of his praise ? 0 ! for words to
set forth a little part of his excellency! Come look
on a dying man and wonder. Was there ever greater
kindness ? Were there ever more sensible manifesta-
tions of grace ? 0 ! why me, Lord, why me ? Surely

262 THOUGHTS ON

this is akin to heaven, and if I were never to enjoy-
more than this, it is more than a sufficient recompense
for all that men and devils could inflict. If this be
dying, it is sweet. The bed is soft. Christ's arms, and
smiles, and love, surely would turn hell into heaven.

0 ! that you did but see and feel what I do. Behold a
dying man, more cheerful than you ever saw a man in
health, in the midst of his sweetest worldly enjoy-
ments. 0 ! sirs, worldly pleasures are poor, pitiful,
sorry things, when compared with this glory in my
soul." He often exhorted those around him to assist
him in his praises. " 0 !". said he, " help me to praise
God. Henceforth, through eternity, I have nothing
else to do but to love and praise the Lord. I cannot
tell what to pray for, which is not already given me.

1 want only one thing, and that is, a speedy lift to
heaven. I expect no more here. I desire no more —
I can bear no more. 0 ! praise, praise, praise that
boundless love which hath wonderfully looked upon
my soul, and hath done more for me, than for thou-
sands of his children. Bless the Lord, 0 my soul, and
all that is within me bless his holy name. 0 my
friends, help me, help me, to admire and praise Him
who hath done such astonishing wonders for my soul.
He hath pardoned all my sins and filled me with his
goodness. He hath given me grace and glory, and no
good thing hath He withheld from me. All ye mighty
angels, help me to praise God. Let every thing that
hath being help me to praise Him. Praise is my work
now, and will be my work for ever. Hallelujah, Hal-
lelujah, Hallelujah ! "

A few hours before his death he had his mother
and brothers and sisters called around his bed, when
in a most solemn and affecting manner, he addressed
himself in turn to each, and took leave of them. To
his mother he offered his thanks for her tender love,
and expressed his desire that she might see Christ
formed in the hearts of all her children, and meet
them all with joy at the day of judgment. Then he
took his brothers and sisters in order, and offered an
appropriate petition for each. He then said, " 0 !

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 263

that none of us may be found among the unconverted
in the day of judgment ! 0 ! that we may all appear
with our honoured father and dear mother, before
Christ with joy. 0 ! that we may live to God here,
and live with God hereafter. And now, my dear
mother, brothers, and sisters, farewell !" His last
words were, "Thy work is done — I have fought a
good fight," &c. " Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly."
After which he immediately expired.

No man, in our country, has left behind him a
higher character for eminent piety, than the Rev.
Edward Payson. His views and exercises, when
near death, will answer well to be placed by the side
of those of Mr. John Janeway.

When this faithful pastor found that his end was
approaching, he felt a strong desire to address some
advice to his flock. He therefore had it announced
from the pulpit, that he would be pleased to see as
many of them as could make it convenient to come to
his house, and appointed them a time. To them, when
assembled, he spake nearly as follows: "It has often
been remarked that people who have gone to the
other world, cannot come back to tell us what they
have seen ; but I am so near the eternal world, that I
can see almost as clearly, as if I were there ; and I
see enough to satisfy myself, at least, of the truth of
the doctrines which I have preached. I do not know
that I should feel at all surer had I been there. It is
always interesting to see others in a situation in which
we know we must shortly be placed ourselves ; and
we all know that we must die. And to see a poor
creature, when, after an alternation of hopes and fears,
he finds that his disease is mortal, and death comes to
tear him away from every thing he loves, and crowds
him to the very verge of the precipice of destruction,
and then thrusts him down headlong; — there he is
cast into an unknown world ; no friend, no Saviour
to receive him : — 0 ! how different is this, from the
state of a man who is prepared to die ! He is not
obliged to be crowded along, but the other world
comes like a great magnet to draw him away from

264 THOUGHTS ON

this; and he knows that he is going to enjoy — and
not only knows but begins to taste it — perfect happi-
ness, for ever, for ever, and ever. And now God is
in this room. I see Him ! and 0 ! how unspeakably
lovely and glorious does he appear! worthy of ten
thousand hearts, if we had so many. He is here, and
hears me pleading with the creatures that he has
made, whom he preserves and loads with blessings,
to love him. And how terrible does it appear to
me to sin against this God — to set up our wills in
opposition to his. It makes my blood run cold to
think how miserable I should now be without reli-
gion. To lie here and see myself tottering on the
verge of destruction, — 0 ! I should be distracted. And
when I see my fellow creatures in this situation, I
am in an agony for them, that they may escape the
danger before it be too late. Suppose we should
hear the sound of some one pleading earnestly with
another, and we should inquire, What is that man
pleading for so earnestly ? 0 ! he is only pleading
with a fellow creature, to love his God, his Saviour,
his Preserver, his Benefactor. He is only pleading
with him, not to throw away his immortal soul ; not
to pull down everlasting wretchedness on his own
head. He is only persuading him to avoid eternal
misery and accept eternal happiness. ' Is it possible/
we should exclaim, i that any persuasion can be neces-
sary for this?' And yet it is necessary. 0 ! my friends!
do, do love this glorious Being. Do seek for the salva-
tion of your immortal souls. Hear the voice of your
dying minister, while he entreats you to care for your
souls/'

On another occasion, he said, " I find satisfaction in
looking at nothing that I have done. I have not
fought, but Christ has fought for me. I have not
run, but Christ has carried me. I have not worked,
but Christ has wrought in me. Christ has done all."
The perfections of God were to him a well-spring of
joy, and the promises were breasts of consolation,
whence his soul drew aliment and comfort. "0!"
exclaimed he, " the loving kindness of God. His lov-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 265

ing kindness ! This afternoon, while I was meditating,
the Lord seemed to pass by and proclaim himself,
'The Lord God, merciful and gracious/ < 0 how
gracious !' Try to conceive of that — 'his loving kind-
ness? as if it were not enough to say kindness, but
loving kindiiess! What must be the loving kindness
of the Lord who is himself infinite in love ? It seem-
ed, as if Christ had said to me, f You have often wan-
dered, and been impatient of the way, by which I
have led you; but what do you think of it now?'
And I was cut to the heart, when I looked back and
saw the goodness by which I had been guided, that I
could ever for a moment distrust his love."

To a minister who called upon him, he said, " That
the point in which he believed ministers failed most,
and in which he had certainly failed most, was in doing
duty professionally, and not from the heart." He said
also, " I have never valued as I ought, the doctrines
which I have preached. The system is great and glo-
rious, and is worthy of our utmost efforts to promote
it. The interests depending will justify us in our
strongest measures. In every respect we may embark
our all upon it ; it will sustain us." — " I was never fit
to say a word to a sinner, except when I had a broken
heart myself; wrhen I was subdued and melted into
penitence, and felt just as if I had received pardon to
my own soul ; and when my heart was full of tender-
ness and pity." He seemed to be greatly affected
with a view of the grace of God, in saving lost men ;
and especially,' that it should be bestowed on one so
ill-deserving as himself. " 0 how sovereign ! 0 how
sovereign ! Grace is the only thing that can make
us like God. I might be dragged through heaven,
earth, and hell, and I should still be the same sinful,
polluted wretch, unless God himself should renew and
cleanse me."

In conversation with his eldest daughter, being asked
whether self-examination was not a very difficult duty
for young Christians, " Yes," he replied, " and for old
ones, too ; because it is displeasing to the pride of
the heart, because wandering thoughts are then most

23

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26Q THOUGHTS ON

apt to intrude, and because of the deceitfuhiess of the
heart. When a Christian first looks into his heart, he
sees nothing but confusion — a heap of sins, and very
little good, mixed up together; and he knows not
how to separate them, or how to begin self-examina-
tion. But let him persevere in his efforts, and order
will arise out of confusion." She mentioned to him
a passage in the life of Alleine, which led him to say,
"We never confess any faults that we really think
disgraceful We complain of our hardness of heart,
stupidity, &c, but we never confess envy, covetous-
ness, and' revenge, or any thing that we suppose will
lower us in the opinion of others; and this proves
that we do not feel ashamed of coldness and stupidity.
In short, when young Christians make confessions,
unless there is an obvious call for it, it commonly
proceeds from one of the following motives : either
they wish to be thought very humble, and to possess
great knowledge of their own hearts; or they think
it is a fault which the other has perceived, and they
are willing to have the credit of having discovered,
and striven against it ; or they confess some fault from
which they are remarkably free, in order to elicit a
compliment."

His solicitude for the welfare of his people was so
great, that though he had given them one solemn
address, he was not contented with that, but sent for
particular classes of them. On one day, he had the
young men of the congregation assembled around
him, when he delivered to them a peculiarly solemn,
tender, and appropriate exhortation. He also sent
an affectionate valedictory address to the Association
of ministers with whom he had been connected. The
substance of it was, "A hearty assurance of the ar-
dent love with which he remembered them even in
death — an exhortation to love one another with a
pure heart fervently — to love their work — 16 be
diligent in it — to expect success, and to bear up under
discouragements — to be faithful unto death, and to look
for their reward in Heaven."

While speaking of the rapturous views which he

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 267

had of heaven, he was asked if did not appear like
the clear light of vision, rather than that of faith. He
said, « I don't know — it is too much for the poor eyes
of my soul to bear — they are almost blinded with the
excessive brightness. All I want is, to be a mirror,
to reflect some of those rays to those around me/' —
* My soul, instead of growing weaker and more lan-
guishing, as my body does, seems to be endued with
an angel's energies, and to be ready to break from
the body, and join those around the throne." When
asked, whether it was now incredible to him, that the
martyrs should rejoice in the flames and on the rack,
" No," said he, " I can easily believe it. I have suf-
fered twenty times as much as I could in being burnt
at the stake, while my joy in God so abounded, as to
render my sufferings not only tolerable, but welcome.
The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to
be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in
us." At another time, he said, " God is now literally
my all in all. While He is present with me, no event
can in the least diminish my happiness ; and were the
whole world at my feet, trying to minister to my
comfort, they could not add one drop to the cup."
" It seems as if the promise to wipe away all tears, is
already accomplished, as it relates to tears of sorrow.
I have no tears to shed now but tears of love, and
joy, and thankfulness." Shortly before his decease,
he was heard to break forth in a soliloquy, of which
the following is a specimen : — " What an assemblage
of motives to holiness, does the gospel present ? I
am a Christian ; what then ? I am a redeemed sinner
— a pardoned rebel — all through grace, and by the
most wonderful means which infinite wisdom could
devise. I am a Christian ; what then ? Why I am a
temple of God, and surely I ought to be pure and
holy. I am a Christian ; what then ? Why I am a
child of God, and ought to be filled with filial love
and reverence, joy, and gratitude. I am a Christian;
what then ? Why I am a disciple of Christ, and must
imitate him who was meek and lowly of heart, and
pleased not himself. I am a Christian. — What then?

268 THOUGHTS ON

Why I am an heir of heaven, and hastening on to the
abodes of the blessed." " It seems as if my soul had
found a pair of new wings, and was so eager to try
them, that in her fluttering she would rend the fine
net-work of the body to pieces." He had the choir to
come in and sing for him, and chose the hymn, " Rise,
my soul" &c. Soon after which he expired, October
21, 1827.

The Rev. Dr. Samuel Finley, who had been for
some time President of New Jersey College, upon
being informed by his physicians that his disease was
incurable, expressed his entire resignation, and ex-
claimed, " Welcome, Lord Jesus." On the Sabbath
preceding his death, Dr. Clarkson, one of his physi-
cians, told him that he observed a manifest alteration,
and that he could not live many days. He said, " may
the Lord bring me near himself! I have been waiting
with a Canaan hunger for the promised land. I have
often wondered that God suffered me to live. I have
more wondered that he ever called me to be a minister
of his word. He has often afforded me much strength
which I have abused. He has returned in mercy.
0 how faithful are the promises of God ! O that I
could see him as I have seen him before, in his sanc-
tuary. Although I have as earnestly desired death,
as the hireling pants for the evening shade, yet will I
wait all the days of my appointed time. I have often
struggled with principalities and powers, and have
been brought to the borders of despair. Lord, let it
suffice." He then closed his eyes and sat up and
prayed fervently that God would show him his glory,
before he departed hence ; that he would enable him
to endure patiently to the end-— and, particularly,
that he might be kept from dishonouring the minis-
try. He then resumed his discourse, and said, "I
can truly say that I have loved the service of God. I
know not in what language to speak of my own un-
worthiness — I have been undutiful — I have honestly
endeavoured to act for God, but with much weakness
and corruption." Then lying down again, he said,
" a Christian's death is the best part of his experience.

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 269

The Lord has made provision for the whole way; pro-
vision for the soul, and provision for the body. The
Lord has given me many souls, as the crown of my
rejoicing. Blessed be God — eternal rest is at hand.
Eternity is but long enough to enjoy my God. This,
this has animated me in my severest studies. I was
ashamed to take rest here. 0 ! that I could be filled
with the fulness of God ! that fulness which fills hea-
ven." Being asked whether he would choose to live
or die, he said, "To die, though I cannot but feel the
same strait that Paul did when he knew not which to
choose. ' For me to live is Christ — but to die is
gain.' But should God, by a miracle, prolong my
life, I would still continue to serve him. His service
has been sweet to me. I have loved it much. I
have tried my Master's yoke, and will never shrink
my neck from it. His yoke is easy, and his burden
is light!" One said to him, " You are more cheerful
and vigorous, sir." "Yes, I rise or fall, as eternal
life seems nearer or further off." It being remarked
that he always used the appellation, "dear Lord," in
his prayers, he answered, " 0 ! he is very dear ! very
precious, indeed. How pretty is it for a minister to
die on the Sabbath I I expect to spend the remainder
of this Sabbath in heaven." One said, "You will
soon join the blessed society of heaven — you will for
ever hold converse with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,
and with the spirits of the just made perfect — with
old friends, and many old fashioned people." "Yes
sir," he replied, with a smile, " but they are a most
polite people now." He expressed great gratitude
to his friends around him, and said, " may the Lord
repay you for your tenderness to me ! may he bless
you abundantly, not only with temporal, but with
spiritual blessings." Turning to his wife, he said,
"My dear, I expect to see you shortly in glory."
Seeing a member of the Second Presbyterian Church
present, he said, " I have often preached and prayed
among you, my dear sir, and the doctrines I preached
are now my support, and, blessed be God, they are
without a flaw. May the Lord bless and preserve

23*

270 THOUGHTS ON

your church! He designs good for it yet, I trust."
To a person from Princeton he said, " give my love
to the people of Princeton, and tell them that I am
going to die, and that I am not afraid to die."

He would sometimes cry out, « the Lord Jesus will
take care of his cause in the world." Upon waking,
next morning, he exclaimed, " 0 what a disappoint-
ment I have met with — I expected this morning to
have been in heaven." On account of his extreme
weakness, he was unable to speak much during the
day, but all that he said was in the language of
triumph. Next morning, with a pleasing smile on
his countenance, he cried out, "0 1 shall triumph
over every foe — the Lord hath given me the victory.
Now I know that it is impossible that faith should
not triumph over earth and hell — I exult — I triumph.
0 that I could see untainted purity ! I think I have
nothing to do but die- — yet, perhaps, I have— Lord,
show me my task." He then said, " Lord Jesus, into
thy hands I commit my spirit — I do it with confidence
—I do it with full assurance. I know that thou wilt
keep that which I have committed to thee. I have
been dreaming too fast of the time of my departure,
for I find it does not yet come — but the Lord is faith-
ful, and will not tarry beyond the appointed time."

In the afternoon, the Rev. Mr. Spencer came to
see him, and said, " I have come, dear sir, to see you
confirm by facts, the gospel you have been preach-
ing. Pray, sir, how do you feel?" To which he re-
plied, "Full of triumph — I triumph through Christ.
Nothing clips my wings but the thoughts of my dis-
solution being prolonged — 0 that it were to night !
My very soul thirsts for eternal rest." Mr. Spencer
asked him what he saw in eternity to excite such
vehement desires in his soul. He said, "I see the
eternal love and goodness of God. I see the fulness
of the Mediator. I see the love of Jesus. 0 to be
dissolved and to be with him! I long to be clothed
with the complete righteousness of Christ." He then
requested Mr. Spencer to pray with him before they
parted, and said, " I have gained the victory over the

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 271

devil ; pray to God to preserve me from evil, to keep
me from evil in this critical hour ; and to support me
with his presence through the valley of the shadow of
death."

He spent the remainder of the day, in taking an
affectionate and solemn leave of his friends, and ex-
horting such of his children as were with him.

On the next day, July 16, the conflict was termin-
ated. He was no longer able to speak, but a friend
having desired him to give a token by which his
friends might know, whether he still continued to tri-
umph, he lifted up his hand, and uttered the word
" Yes." About nine o'clock, he fell into a sound sleep,
and appeared much more free from pain than he had
been for many days before. He continued to sleep,
without changing his position, till about one o'clock,
when he expired, without a groan or a sigh. During
his whole sickness he was never heard to utter a repin-
ing word ; and in taking leave of his dearest friends,
he was never seen to shed a tear, or exhibit any sign
of sorrow.

His remains were interred in the Second Presbyte-
rian Church, on the corner of Mulberry or Arch and
Third streets ; by the side of his dear friend, the Rev.
Gilbert Tennent. From this resting place, their dust
and bones were removed to the burying ground on
Arch street, when the church was removed. Mrs.
Finley survived her husband many years, the latter
part of which time she was entirely blind; but bore
the affliction with meek and cheerful submission.

CHAPTER XX.

Remarks on Death-bed Exercises, with several illustrative examples.

The cases of religious experience, at the close of life,
which have been presented to the reader, furnish
much reason for encouragement and hope to the real
Christian, We learn from them, that death, however

272 THOUGHTS ON

terrible to nature, may be completely divested of its
terrors; that the Christian religion when it has been
cordially embraced, has power to sustain the soul in
the last conflict ; that the supplies of grace may be so
rich and abundant, that the bed of death may be the
happiest situation which the child of God ever occu-
pied, and his last hours the most comfortable of his
whole life ; that it is possible for such a flood of divine
consolation to be poured into the soul, that the pains
of the body are scarcely felt ; by which we may un-
derstand how it was that the martyrs could rejoice in
the midst of flames, and on the rack. We learn, also,
that these blessed communications of the joy of the
Holy Ghost, are derived to the soul, through the pro-
mises of God; and that all that is necessary to fill
it with these divine consolations, is a firm and lively
faith. There is, in all these extatic and triumphant
feelings, nothing miraculous; nothing different from
the common mode of God's dealing with his people,
except in the degree. The things of eternity are
more clearly apprehended ; confidence in the promises
is more unshaken ; submission to the will of God is
more unreserved, and gratitude for his goodness more
fervent. Another thing suggested by such happy
death-bed exercises, is, that the dying saint never
entertained a more humble sense of his own unwor-
thiness, than during this season of the anticipation
of the joys of heaven. These experiences, therefore,
furnish strong evidence of the truth of the doctrines
of grace; indeed, free grace is the predominant theme
in the minds of these highly favoured servants of
God. It is also highly worthy of our marked atten-
tion, that the Lord Jesus Christ is precious to the
dying believer, in proportion as his consolations abound.
He attributes all that he enjoys, or hopes for, to this
blessed Redeemer. And He who loved him, and died
for him, is most faithful to his gracious promises, at
this trying moment. Now, when heart and flesh fail,
He will be the strength of their hearts. Now, he
enables them to say, with confidence, " Though I
walk through the valley and shadow of death, I will

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 273

fear no evil, for thou art with me ; thy rod and staff
comfort me." Death is, indeed, a formidable enemy
when armed with his envenomed sting; but when
this sting is extracted, death is harmless ; death comes
as a friend to release us from a body of sin and mise-
ry. "The sting of death is sin, and the strength of
sin is the law ;" but when the law has received a full
satisfaction, and all sin is pardoned through the blood
of Christ, the sting exists no longer. There is no
condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus. It is
God that justifieth, who is he that condemneth ? It is
Christ that died; yea, rather who is risen again.
"Precious in the sight of God is the death of his
saints." The meek shall sing even on a dying bed.
Here, often, the timid grow bold; the feeble strong.
Here doubts and fears which harassed the weary pil-
grim, all the journey through, are dismissed for ever ;
and that joyful assurance is realized, which had long
been ardently desired and hoped for. Where else, but
among real Christians, do we witness such happy
scenes, at the near approach of death ? Can the infidel
point to any of his associates, who could thus exult in
the prospect of death? Can the man of the world
exhibit any thing like this ? Alas ! they are driven
away from all they love : they may die stupidly ; they
may be under an awful, blinding delusion; but the
positive joys of the believer, they cannot experience.
Now, as we must all die, and that soon, ought we not
to take all pains, and use all possible diligence, to be
ready to die the death of the righteous ? When that
awful hour shall arrive, worldly honours, and worldly
possessions will be nothing to us. Royal sceptres and
crowns, and treasures, will be utterly unavailing ; but
the humble believer, however racked with pain of body,
is safe in the hands of a kind Redeemer, who having
himself experienced the pangs of death, knows how
to sympathize with and succour his beloved disciples,
when they are called to this last trial. He will not
then forsake those whom he has supported through
their whole pilgrimage. His everlasting arms of love
and faithfulness will be placed underneath them, and

274 THOUGHTS ON

he will bear them as on eagles' wings. Truly, then,
for them to die, is gain ! They rest from their labours,
exchange darkness, sin, and sorrow, for perfect light,
perfect purity, and perfect felicity. Lift up your heads,
then, ye servants of God, for the day of your redemp-
tion draweth nigh. The night is far spent, the day is
at hand. With some of us, it must be near the dawn.
The darkness will soon be past for ever. Let us then
rejoice in the hope of the glory of God, and wait till
our salvation cometh. Now is our salvation nearer
than when we believed.

But, it may be asked, do all real Christians die in
such joy and triumph, as those whose experience has
been related? No; this is not pretended. Some, no
doubt, die under a cloud, and go out of the world in
distressing doubt respecting their eternal destiny. It
is to guard against such an event, that we would ex-
hort all professors of religion, and include ourselves in
the number, to begin in time to make preparation
for death. Dear brethren, let us look well to the foun-
dation of our hope ; we cannot bestow too much
pains and diligence in making our calling and elec-
tion sure. We shall never regret, on a death-bed,
that we were too much concerned to secure the sal-
vation of our souls ; or, that we were too careful in
making preparation for another world. Let us re-
member that our time on earth is short, and that
whatever is done, must be done quickly. There will
be no opportunity of coming back to rectify what has
been done amiss, or to supply what is wanting. " Now
is the accepted time, now is the day of salvation."
Let us work while it is day, knowing that the dark
night cometh when no man can work. Let us then
awake to righteousness. Let us watch and be sober.
Let us put on the armour of light, and especially
let us see to it, that we have on the wedding
garment; else we shall never find admittance to the
marriage-supper of the Lamb. The only robe which
can bear the scrutinizing inspection of the King, is
the perfect and spotless robe of Christ's imputed
righteousness. This will render us acceptable in the

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 275

Beloved. With this, we must put on the robe of in-
herent righteousness; for "without holiness, no man
shall see the Lord ;" and these two, though distinct,
are never separated. Only, the latter is never per-
fect until we come to the end of our course ; and
this single consideration should reconcile us to the
thoughts of death ; that then we shall be freed from
all sin. 0 how blessed is that state, where we shall
see no more darkly through a glass, but face to face ;
where we shall know no more in part, but as we are
known. 0 bright and delightful vision of the glory of
God in the face of Jesus Christ ! Surely this is worth
dying for.

But it may be asked, Is there not evidence of too
much excitement, in the experiences which have been
narrated ? May not a part at least of the elevated and
exhilarated feelings be the effect of an accelerated cir-
culation ? People who die of pulmonary consumption
are apt to be sanguine, and to indulge buoyant hopes
even in regard to recovery. In answer, I would say,
that this may be admitted to have some effect in in-
creasing the degree of excitement ; but it never can
account for the bright views and unspeakable joys
which some experience. And the truth is, we are
poor judges of the degree of elevated excitement,
which the sense of God's love will produce.

It must be confessed, that while we may admire
and breathe after such an elevated and triumphant
state of mind, as was experienced by those of whom
some account has been given; yet we cannot so read-
ily sympathize with such high emotions, as with a
more calm and deliberate frame of spirit. Indeed, it
is here as in health, when we see persons much ex-
cited in regard to religion, or any thing else, we do
not place such entire confidence in what they utter,
as when the same persons calmly and soberly express
their sentiments. The reason is, that in all great ex-
citements the imagination and feelings predominate
over the judgment; and experience teaches that in
all such cases there is a tendency to exaggeration,
and to the use of strong expressions; and it cannot

276 THOUGHTS ON

be doubted that, in some cases, the religious exulta-
tion experienced is somewhat delirious. The ner-
vous system loses its tone, and although its agitations
are violent, they are somewhat irregular and exces-
sive, so as to produce an irrepressible thrilling through
the soul. It is not wonderful, that while the myste-
rious connexion between soul and body is coming to
an end, there should be something in the emotions
new, and in the looks, tones, and gestures, out of the
common way. This does not alter or vitiate the
nature of the pious exercises of the soul, though it
may modify them, and give them a peculiar aspect
and expression. If any person chooses to suppose,
that, in some of the cases specified, while faith
was triumphant, and hope full of assurance, there
might be superadded an exhilaration arising out of
the peculiar state of the body, he will not have me
objecting. The last exercises of that useful and de-
voted man, Jeremiah Evarts, were very remarkable
for the degree of powerful excitement manifested ;
and the more remarkable, because his mind was
highly intellectual, and very little subject to excite-
ment, in common. Still it was well known to those
intimate with him, that when he was aroused, his
feelings were very strong.

Often, officious friends and physicians are ex-
tremely averse to have any thing said to their friends,
on the subject of religion, when they are sick, lest it
should disturb their minds, and so increase the vio-
lence of the disease. I would not, it is true, admit
every loquacious old man or woman, into the chamber
of a friend dangerously ill, but a discreet and pious
counsellor is of great value at such a time. If the
patient is hopefully pious, none can doubt the propri-
ety and comfort of aiding such by holding forth to
their view the rich promises of a faithful God. But
even when the character of the sick is different, it
often gives relief to have an opportunity of conversa-
tion with a pious friend or minister. Anxious feel-
ings, pent up in the soul and finding no vent, are far
more injurious than a free expression of them; and if

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 277

the person is in danger of death, will you, can you, be
guilty of the cruelty of debarring him from the only
opportunity of salvation, which he may ever have?
If you do, his blood will be found in your skirts.
To show how erroneous the opinion is, that religious
conversation tends to injure the sick by increasing his
disease, I will relate a fact which fell under my own
observation.

A young gentleman of fortune and liberal educa-
tion, had been for some months thinking seriously
about his soul's salvation; but the work had not
come to any maturity, when by making too great an
exertion of his bodily strength, he ruptured a large
blood vessel in the lungs, and was brought to death's
door ; not being able to speak above a low whisper.
Having been a pupil of mine, I was permitted to see
him, and upon asking the state of his mind, he whis-
pered in my ear, that he was overwhelmed with the
most awful darkness and terror — not one ray of light
dawned upon his miserable soul.. I prayed with him
and presented to him a few gospel invitations and
promises, and left him, never expecting to see him
alive. Next day I called, the physician coming out
of his room, informed me, that while they were wait-
ing for his last breath, a favourable change seemed
unexpectedly to have taken place, and that he had
revived a little. When I approached his bed, he
looked joyfully in my face, pressed my hand, and said,
"All is well — I have found peace. — This morning,
about the dawn, I had the most delightful view of
Christ, and of his ability and willingness to save me."
And upon inquiry, I found, that that was the moment
when the favourable change took place in his symp-
toms. Faith and joy accomplished what no medicine
could, and acted as a reviving cordial to his dying
body. He so far recovered as to live a number of
years afterwards, though his lungs were never sound;
and his consistent walk and conversation attested the
reality of his change. He soon joined himself to the
communion of the church, and died in her communion.

While spending a summer in Germantown, near

24

278 THOUGHTS ON

Philadelphia, I was sent for to visit a young man,
whom I had often seen. He did not belong to my
charge, but two pious ladies who did, were his friends,
and had come out of the city to nurse him. He had
a hemorrhage of the lungs, which left little room to
hope for recovery. As he was a mild and moral
man, I did not know, but that he might be a professor
of religion; but upon asking him a question respecting
his hope, he frankly told me that he had been skepti-
cal for many years, and had no belief that the gospel
was divine. I never felt more at a loss. The man
was too weak to attend to argument, and if I could
by reasoning convince him of his error, it would not
be a saving faith, and he must die before this process
could be gone through. I found that his infidelity
afforded him no comfort in a dying hour, and that he
wished he could believe in Christ. It occurred to me
that the word of God contained light and energy in
itself, and that if he could not attend to the external
evidences, the beams of truth might shine in upon his
soul, and thus generate a saving faith by the efficient
aid of the Spirit. After pointing out the probable
sources of his skepticism, I requested the ladies who
were attending on him, to read certain portions of the
gospel to him, as he could bear it — for he was very
low. This was done ; and next day, when I came
to see him, he declared that his doubts were all scat-
tered, and that he had hope in Christ. Afterwards,
he was never able to converse ; but as far as is known
died in hope.

I never saw any one approach death so deliber-
ately and composedly, as the late Rev. Robert Ray,
pastor of the church of Freehold, in New Jersey. He
had spent a winter at St. Augustine, with the hope of
restoring his health, but came home more diseased
than before he went. His lungs were deeply affected,
and he foresaw that his end was approaching. But
as long as he was able to speak, he caused himself to
be carried to the church and to be assisted into the
pulpit, where he would preach and exhort until his
breath failed, when he would pant as if about to die,

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 279

and then be conveyed home as he came. This was
done not once or twice, but for many weeks ; for he
said, as he must die, he might as well die preaching;
and he felt a strong desire to be the means of saving
the people committed to his charge ; and he hoped that *
a voice of affectionate warning from the grave might
have the effect of awakening some of them. As he
suffered but little acute pain, he appeared until his
dying day, as calm and cheerful, as a man long absent
from home would, when the time came to return to his
friends. He conversed as familiarly and composedly
about his approaching change, as if there was nothing
formidable in it. Indeed, it had no terrors for him.
Even when death was upon him, having observed
some of his neighbours coming in, he said, " Well,
you have come to see your pastor die." He then
remarked, that his feelings were very peculiar, such as
he had never experienced before ; and without any per-
turbation of mind or bodily agony, he gently fell asleep.

Wishing in these experiences of dying saints to give
as great a variety as is compatible with my limits, I
will now extract an account of the last illness of Mrs.
Susan Huntington, of Boston, taken down* by her pas-
tor, the Rev. Dr. Wisner, after his visits to her sick
room.

Tuesday, October 28, 1823. Called on Mrs. Hunt-
ington about half-past nine in the morning. Found
that she had failed considerably since my last visit.
To an inquiry respecting the state of her mind, she
said, " I think I have felt more of the presence of
Christ, than when I saw you last. I have not had
those strong views and joyful feelings, with which I
have sometimes been favoured. My mind is weak ;
I cannot direct and fix my thoughts as I once could.
But I think I have fled for refuge to lay hold on the
hope set before me in the precious gospel ; and He
who is the foundation of that hope will never forsake
me." Then, with a most interesting expression of
countenance, she said, " I trust we shall meet in hea-
ven, and spend an eternity in praising our dear Re-
deemer." "I feel," said she, "that I have been very,

280 THOUGHTS ON

very unfaithful ; but He is merciful — his blood clean-
seth from all sin : and I trust he has blotted out my
sins from the book of his remembrance. 0 what
should we do without Christ ?" "As much debtors
to free grace at the end of our course as at the begin-
ning," observed her pastor. " More, far more," she
replied, "for we sin against greater light and love, after
we are born again. Yes, it is all free grace — if it were
not, what would become of me ?" It was answered,
" You would have perished — justly perished." " Yes,"
she replied, " what a glorious plan, what a precious
Saviour ! 0 that I could love him more ! Pray that
I may love and glorify him for ever !"

On Friday, October 31, found her more comfortable.
She said, " My mind has generally been in a peaceful
frame since I saw you ; but I want to realize the pre-
sence and preciousness of Christ, more distinctly and
constantly than my great weakness permits me to do."
In answer to some remarks on the covenant of grace,
she said, " Glorious covenant ! precious promises ! I
have given myself and body to Him, in whom they
are yea and amen, and I do not fear; I desire him to
do with me as it shall please him."

Tuesday, November 3. To the usual inquiry, she
replied, " Mrs. Graham accurately describes my feel-
ings, when she says, 'Thus far the Lord hath brought
me through the wilderness, bearing, chastising, forgiv-
ing, restoring. I am near to Jordan's flood. May my
blessed High Priest and ark of the covenant, lead on
my staggering steps, the little further I have to go/ "
And on December 4, she breathed her last, in the faith
and hope of the gospel.

As in the preceding account of Mrs. Huntington,
mention is made of Mrs. Graham, of New York, it
may be in place to give a few particulars of this wise
woman, as she may properly be called, during her
last illness. Foreseeing that her end was near, she
sent for Mrs. Chrystie, a dear friend, between whom
and herself an agreement had been made, that which-
ever was first summoned away, should be attended, in
her last moments, by the other. To her son-in-law,

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 281

Mr. Bethune, whom she saw standing by, she said,
" My dear, dear son, I am going to leave you ; I am
going to my Saviour." He answered, " I know that
when you do go from us, it will be to the Saviour; but,
my dear mother, it may not be the Lord's time now to
call you to himself." "Yes," said she, "now is the
time ; and Oh ! I could weep for sin." Her words
were accompanied with her tears. "Have you any
doubts, then, my dear friend," asked Mrs. Chrystie.
" 0 no," replied she, " I have no more doubt of going
to my Saviour, than if I were already in his arms.
My guilt is all transferred. He has cancelled all my debt ;
yet I could weep for sins against so good a God. It
seems to me there must be weeping even in Heaven."
When her dear friend and pastor, Dr. Mason, came to
see her, they had a very interesting interview — at the
close of which, he inquired if there was any thing, in
particular, for which he should pray. She said, "The
Lord will direct," and immediately offered up this
short prayer: "Lord, direct thy servant in prayer."
During her sickness, she was for much of the time leth-
argic, and it was often difficult to arouse her. But
when at any time waked up for a moment, she would
utter some sweet word — such as " peace," indicating
the happy state of her mind. Dr. Mason, in his funeral
sermon, said, " This may truly be called falling asleep
in Jesus." All terror seemed to be removed, and her
countenance was placid, and looked younger than be-
fore her illness. At a quarter past 12 o'clock, on the
27th of July, 1814, without a struggle or a groan, her
spirit winged its flight from a mansion of clay to the
realms of glory.

24

282 THOUGHTS ON

CHAPTER XXI.

Death-bed exercises of Mr. Baxter, and the Rev. Thomas Scott, D. D.

Dr. Bates, in his funeral sermon, occasioned by the
death of Mr. Baxter, has given us an interesting ac-
count of his last days, some part of which I will
extract, as furnishing an example, not of a highly
excited state of feeling, but of a truly pious, calm,
submissive frame of mind. Few persons, who ever
lived, have given more convincing evidence of fervent
piety, throughout a long life, than this devoted servant
of God. His end corresponded with the tenor of his
life, and with the religion which he inculcated in his
sermons.

"He continued/' says Dr. Bates, "to preach so
long, notwithstanding his wasted and languishing
body, that the last time, he almost died in the pulpit.
It would doubtless have been his joy to be trans-
figured in the mount. Not long after, he felt the
approaches of death, and was confined to his sick
bed. Death reveals the secrets of the heart: then
words are spoken with most feeling and least affec-
tation. This excellent saint was the same in his life
and his death : his last hours were spent in preparing
others and himself to appear before God. He said to
his friends, who came to see him, < Ye come hither to
learn to die. I am not the only person that must go
this way. I can assure you, that your whole life, be
it ever so long, is little enough to prepare for death.
Have a care of this vain, deceitful world, and the
lusts of the flesh. Be sure you choose God for your
portion, heaven for your home, God's glory for your
end, and his word for your rule, and then you need
never fear, but we shall meet in comfort.' Never
was penitent sinner more humble, never was a sin-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 283

cere believer more calm and comfortable. He ac-
knowledged himself to be the vilest dunghill-worm
(it was his usual expression) that ever went to heaven.
He admired the divine condescension to us, often say-
ing, < Lord, what is man ! what am I, a vile worm, to
the great God / Many times he prayed, i God be
merciful to me a sinner/ and thanked God that this
was left on record, in the gospel, as an effectual prayer.
tie said, 'God may justly condemn me for the best
duty I ever performed. All my hopes are from the
free mercy of God in Christ/ After a slumber, he
awaked, and said, c I shall rest from my labour.' A
minister present said, 'And your works shall follow
you/ To whom he replied, ' No works — I will leave
out works, if God will grant me the other/ When a
friend was comforting him with the good which many
had received by his preaching and writing, he said, i I
was but a pen in God's hand, and what praise is due
to a pen ?'

" His resigned submission to the will of God, in his
sharp sickness, was eminent. When extremity con-
strained him earnestly to pray to God for his release,
by death, he would check himself, < It is not fit for me
to prescribe — when thou wilt, what thou wilt, and how
thou wilt/ Being in great anguish, he said, '0 how
unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past
finding out — the reaches of his providence we cannot
fathom/ And to his friends, ' Do not think the worse
of religion for what you see me suffer/ Being often
asked, how it was with the inner man, he replied, * I
have a well-grounded assurance of my eternal happi-
ness, and great peace and comfort within/ He said,
< Flesh must perish, and we must feel the perishing of
it/ and that though his judgment submitted, yet sense
would still make him groan. He derived great com-
fort from that description in Heb. xii. 22 ; that he
was going to the innumerable company of angels, and
to the general assembly and church of the first-born,
whose names are written in heaven ; and to God the
Judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made per-
fect, and to Jesus the Mediator of the new covenant,

284 THOUGHTS ON

and to the blood of sprinkling, that speaketh better
things than the blood of Abel. < That Scripture/ he
said, ' deserved a thousand and a thousand thoughts.'

" At another time, he said he derived great comfort
and sweetness, in repeating the Lord's prayer, and
was sorry some good people were prejudiced against
the use of it, for there were all necessary petitions for
the soul and body contained in it. He gave excellent
counsels to young ministers, that visited him, and
earnestly prayed to God to bless their labours, and
make them very successful in turning many souls to
Christ; expressed great joy in the hopes that God
would do a great deal of good by them, and that their
spirits might be moderate and peaceful. He often
prayed that God would be merciful to this miserable,
distracted world, and that he would preserve his
church and interest in it. He advised his friends to
beware of self-conceit, as a sin that was likely to ruin
the nation.

" I visited him, with a very worthy friend, Mr.
Mather, from New England, the day before he died.
I said to him, ' You are now approaching your long
desired home:' he answered, <I believe, I believe/
He expressed great willingness to die, and during his
sickness, when asked, c How he did/ his reply was,
'•Almost well.9 His joy was most remarkable, when,
in his own apprehension, death was nearest ; and his
spiritual joy was at length consummated in eternal
joy. On the day of his death, a great trembling
and coldness extorted strong cries from him, for pity
and relief from heaven; which cries and agonies con-
tinued for some time, till at length he ceased, and
lay in patient expectation of his change. The last
words he spoke to me, on being informed that I was
come to see him, were, ' Oh, I thank him, I thank
him/ and turning his eyes to me said, 'The Lord
teach you how to die V To the last I never could
perceive his peace and heavenly hopes assaulted or
disturbed. I have often heard him greatly lament that
he felt no greater liveliness in what appeared so
great and clear to him, and so much desired by him.

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 285

He told me he knew it should be well with him,
when he was gone. He wondered to hear others
speak of their sensible and passionately strong desires
to die, and of their comforts of spirit, when sensible
of their approaching death ; when, though he thought
he knew as much as they, and had as rational satis-
faction as they could have, that his soul was safe, he
never could feel their sensible consolations. I asked,
whether much of this was not to be resolved into bodily
constitution : he told me he thought it must be so.

A wicked and groundless report was circulated,
that he was greatly troubled with skeptical thoughts
before he died. Mr. Sylvester, who was with him
during his whole sickness, declares there was not the
least foundation whatever, for such a report. But
the devil seems to be greatly envious at the comforta-
ble death of God's people, and therefore his agents
are busy in circulating slanders against the saints, in
regard to this matter. So, although Calvin ended his
days in great tranquillity and in the full exercise of
faith and enjoyment of reason, his enemies circulated
the report, that he died in all the horrors of despair.
Thus also, when the Rev. Augustus Toplady was near
his end, it was circulated that he had renounced all
those doctrines of grace, for which he was so zeal-
ous in his life. Happily the report reached him be-
fore his decease, which gave him the opportunity of
contradicting it, and leaving his dying testimony in
favour of those doctrines. His dying experience was
of the most joyful and triumphant kind, and would do
to be classed with those of John Jane way, Edward
Payson, and Dr. Samuel Finley, but we have not room
for it, and many others.

The two Henrys, father and son, so eminent for
their piety and usefulness, were carried off by sudden
and painful diseases, which afforded little opportunity
for much conversation. They experienced, however,
much of the divine aid and support. John Howe's
death was exactly in character with his life and wri-
tings.

It may be thought, that all the specimens of the ex-

286 THOUGHTS ON

perience of believers, during their last illness, have
been of the favourable kind ; and far above what is
witnessed in the greater number of Christians, on
their dying bed. It may be so. But I wish to remark,
that in all my life, I have known few persons, who
lived like Christians, when in health, who did not
in their approach to death, manifest as much hope
and fortitude, in that trying hour, as could reasonably
have been expected from the character of their piety.
In many cases as I have before stated, the comfort
and assurance of some timid and desponding be-
lievers, have risen far above what any of their friends
dared to hope. In general the result of my observa-
tion is, that the pious find death less terrible on their
near approach to the event, than when it was viewed
at a distance. Some persons have naturally a much
greater dread of death than others, though their piety
may be more lively. Of this class was the late Dr.
Thomas Scott, the author of the Commentary on the
Bible. Few men of the last age, gave stronger evi-
dence of deep-rooted and constant attachment to the
Saviour, than this devoted man. In the service of
his Master, he was most laborious and faithful, and
it would be difficult to name any man whose evan-
gelical labours have been attended with happier re-
sults. He contributed much, in conjunction with
such men as Romaine, Newton, Cecil, and others, to
extend the influence of vital religion, far and wide,
through the established church of England ; and his
usefulness was not confined to his own country, or to
the period of his life; but, in these United States, I
know no writings which have been so extensively
circulated, and which have so powerful an eifect in
correcting prevailing errors in religion, and promoting
sound, evangelical views of Scriptural truth. I have
selected the dying experience of this man, of un-
doubted and eminent piety, for the reason hinted at
in the beginning of this chapter; because his exer-
cises, though deeply serious, were not for the most
of the time, remarkably comfortable ; and in no part
of his illness, did he express much elevated joy. I

-y.

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 287

think it right to view God's people in their various
states and frames, as they approach the end of their
pilgrimage. A pious clergyman remarked, in rela-
tion to the exercises of Dr. Scott, that men of pro-
found thought, and deep reflection, are not commonly
so joyful on a dying-bed as Christians of less under-
standing and less experience, and he referred to Bunyan,
as of the same mind, who represents Christian, his
chief pilgrim, as almost overwhelmed with the waters
of Jordan, while the less experienced pilgrim, Hope-
ful, goes over with little difficulty or danger. I
cannot say, that I can altogether concur in this remark.
It may often happen, that the unlettered Christian
has a livelier faith than the profoundly learned theolo-
gian, and of course will be likely to have a calmer,
happier exit from the world. But if men of talents
and learning possess a vigorous, evangelical faith,
they are as likely to rejoice on a dying bed as any
others, as is evinced by the examples of Rivet, Baxter,
Howe, &c. The difference between the comforts of
dying saints may be attributed, first to divine sover-
eignty, which distributes grace and consolation as
seemeth good unto him; secondly, to bodily tempera-
ment; some persons being more fearful than others,
and more prone to suspect their own sincerity; and
thirdly, to the nature of the disease by which the
body is brought down to the grave. It is the ten-
dency of some diseases, while they do not disturb
the intellect, to exhilarate the spirits, and enliven the
imagination ; while a distressing depression or pertur-
bation is the effect of others ; to say nothing of the
different degrees of pain experienced by different per-
sons ; and we know that some diseases have a de-
plorable stupefying effect. A fourth and frequent
cause of difference in the exercises of dying persons
is produced by the medicine which is administered.
When physicians can do nothing to cure, they think it
right to lull their patients by opiates, or excite them
by alcohol. I have, when sick, been more afraid of
nothing than these intoxicating and stupefying, or even
exhilarating drugs. 0 let no artificial means be ever

288 THOUGHTS ON ■

used with me, in that dread hour, to interrupt sober
and deliberate reflection !

But to return to Dr. Scott; his disease was a violent
fever, so that the range of his pulse was from 150 to
175 in a minute. Under such a disease it is not won-
derful that he was often restless and uncomfortable in
his feelings. The Rev. Daniel Wilson, (now bishop
of Calcutta) in his funeral sermon observes, " That for
several years preceding the event itself, his bodily infir-
mities had been increasing. His strength and natural
spirits at times sensibly failed. His own impression
was, that his departure was approaching, and he con-
templated it with calmness and tranquillity." Mr.
Wilson with great propriety remarks, " Before I pro-
ceed to give some particulars of his most instructive
and affecting departure, I must observe, that I lay no
stress on them as to the evidence of his state before
God. It is the tenor of the life, not that of the few
suffering and morbid scenes which precede dissolution,
that fixes the character. We are not authorized from
Scripture to place any dependence on the last periods
of sinking nature, through which the Christian may
be called to pass to his eternal reward. But though
no importance is to be attached to these hours of faint-
ing mortality, with reference to the acceptance and
final triumph of the dying Christian, yet, where it
pleases God to afford one of his departing servants, as
in the instance before us, such a measure of faith and
self-possession, as to close a holy and most consistent
life, with a testimony which sealed, amidst the pains
of acute disease, and in the most impressive man-
ner, all his doctrines and instructions, during forty-
five preceding years, we are called on, as I think, to
record with gratitude the divine benefit, and to use
it with humility, for the confirmation of our own faith
and joy."

His second son, writes from his bed-side, " His
gloom, of which I had heard a good deal, in an indis-
tinct manner, by no means relates to the prospects
which lie before him. He is perfectly calm and
cheerful in the view of dissolution, and seems disap-

V .

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 289

pointed at the symptoms of recovery. He thought
his trials were almost over ; and said, that yesterday
morning he had hoped to end the sacred services of
the day in heaven. Indeed, his wish is, decidedly,
to depart, in the confidence that he shall be with
Christ, which is far better. His dejection is mani-
festly nothing more than the feeling of a mind ex-
hausted by its own exertions. His feelings on Sunday
were very distressing both to himself and others, and
were clearly aggravated by a degree of delirium
arising from fever. Yesterday and to-day he has
been quite calm, and though too weak to speak much,
is evidently in a tranquil state. I brought my eldest
boy with me, that he might once more see his grand-
father, and receive his last blessing. He spoke to
him this morning for a few minutes in a most affect-
ing manner, and pronounced his blessing upon him,
in a way, which I trust, he will never forget. May
God grant that he may walk in the steps which are
leading his grandfather to glory !" In another letter,
a few days afterwards, he says, " Though I can say
nothing favourable respecting his health, for he ap-
pears approaching very near to his end, yet, thanks
be to God, the clouds which overspread his mind are
breaking away, and he talks with a placidity and cheer-
fulness greater than I have before seen, since I came."
"Just as we had assembled for family worship, he
sent to say, that he wished us to meet in his room,
and join in the Lord's supper, as a means of grace
through which he might receive that consolation that
he was seeking. The whole family — with one ex-
ception— was present, and an old parishioner. It is
impossible to describe the deeply interesting and af-
fecting scene. The fervour displayed by my dear
father, the poor emaciated form, the tears and sobs
of all present, were almost more than I could bear
with that degree of composure which was requisite
to enable me to read the service, so as to make him
hear, (Dr. S. had become very deaf.) But it was a
delightful feeling, and has done more to cheer our
downcast hearts, than can well be conceived. It

25

O

290 THOUGHTS ON

was, moreover, a cordial to my father's spirits, who
adopted the words of the venerable Simeon, in the
prospect of dissolution ; Now lettest thou thy servant
depart in peace"

The Rev. D. Wilson, in his funeral sermon, of
which a number of editions were published, makes
the following just remarks: — "The remarkable suf-
ferings of so eminent a saint, in his last sickness,
may, perhaps, at first perplex the mind of a young
Christian. But such a person should remember, that
the way to Heaven is ordinarily a way of tribulation,
and that the greatest honour God puts on his ser-
vants, is to call them to such circumstances of afflic-
tion as display and manifest his grace. What would
have crushed a weak and unstable penitent, with im-
mature knowledge of the promises of salvation, only
illustrated the faith of the venerable subject of this
discourse. God adapts the burden to the strength.
As to the darkness and anguish which at times rested
on his mind, they were clearly the combined effects
of disease and the temptations of the adversary. The
return of comfort as the fever remitted, made this quite
certain, and he was himself able, at times, to make
the distinction. But even in the midst of his afflictive
feelings, it is manifest to every real judge of such a
case, that a living and a strong faith was in vigorous
activity. For consolation is one thing, faith another.
This latter grace often lays hold of the promises made
in Christ with the firmest grasp, at the very time
when hope and comfort are interrupted by the mor-
bid state of the bodily and mental powers. Our
feelings and powers, thank God, are not the founda-
tion on which we build. Never, perhaps, was stronger
faith exhibited by our Saviour himself, than when he
uttered those piercing words, "My God, my God,
ivhy hast thou forsaken me?"

His daughter, in giving an account of the condition
of her dying father, says, " In the time of his dark-
ness and gloom, he prayed without ceasing, and with
inexpressible fervour. He seemed unconscious of
any one being near him, and gave vent to the feel-

3

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 291

ings of his mind without restraint. And, Oh ! what
holy feelings were they ! What spirituality ; what
hatred of sin; what humility; what simple faith in
Christ; what zeal for God's glory; what submission!
Never could I hear him without being reminded of
Him, ivho being in an agony, prayed the more earn-
estly. < I think nothing/ said he, <of my bodily pains
— my soul is all. I trust all will end well, but it is a
dreadful conflict. I hope — I fear — I tremble — I pray.
Satan tries to be avenged of me in this awful hour, for
all that I have done against his kingdom through life.
He longs to pluck me out of Christ's hand. Subdue
the enemy, 0 Lord ! Silence the accuser. Bruise Sa-
tan under my feet shortly. —

'Hide me, O my Saviour hide,

Till the storm of life is past
Safe into the haven guide,

O receive my soul at last. —
Other refuge have I none.'

0 to enter eternity with one doubt on the mind — 0
eternity — eternity — eternity ! 0 what a thing sin is !
Who knoweth the power of his wrath? If this be the
way to heaven, what must be the way to hell ? If the
righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly
and sinner appear?"

He mentioned the wonderful way in which his pray-
ers for others had been answered, and seemed to derive
some comfort from it. He rejected every attempt to
comfort him by reminding him of the way in which
he had served and glorified God. " Christ is all," he
said, " He is my only hope." His wonderful know-
ledge of Scripture was a source of great comfort ; and
the exactness with which he repeated passage after
passage, was amazing. The manner in which also he
connected one with another, was admirable. His first
clear consolation was after receiving the Lord's Sup-
per, of which an account has been given. He had
previously observed, "An undue stress is, by some,
laid on this ordinance, as administered to the sick ; and
others, I think, are in danger of undervaluing it. It

292 THOUGHTS ON

is a means of grace; arid may prove God's instrument
of conveying to me the comfort I am seeking." After
he had partaken of this divine ordinance, he said to
his son-in-law, H It was beneficial to me ; I received
Christ and he received me. I feel a composure which
I did not expect last night. I have not a triumphant
assurance, but something which is more calm and sat-
isfactory. I bless God for it." And then he repeated,
in the most emphatic manner, the 12th chapter of
Isaiah, " O Lord, I will praise thee: though thou
toast angry ivith me" &c. 0 to realize the fulness
of joy — 0 to have done with temptation! "They
shall hunger no more, nor thirst any more ; neither
shall the sun light on them nor any heat ; for the Lamb
which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them,
and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters,
and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes/' —
"They are come out of great tribulation, and have wash-
ed their robes and made them white in the blood of the
Lamb ; therefore are they before the throne of God." —
" We know not what we shall be, but we know that
when He shall appear, we shall be like him ; for we
shall see him as he is." — "The righteous hath hope
in his death; not driven away — no, no, not driven
away !"

"There is one feeling," said he, "which I cannot
have if I would. Those that oppose my doctrine have
slandered me sadly, but I cannot feel any resentment.
I can only love and pity them, and pray for their sal-
vation. I never did feel any resentment against them.
I only regret that I did not more ardently long and
pray for the salvation of their souls. I feel most
earnest in prayer for the promotion of Christ's king-
dom all over the earth. There are two causes in the
world, the cause of God and the cause of the devil ;
the cause of our Lord Jesus Christ and the cause of
the devil. The cause of God will prevail all over the
world, among all kindreds, and people, and tongues. It
shall fill the whole earth. < Hallowed be thy name/ &c."

Waking, after a short sleep, in great calmness, he
said, " This is heaven begun ; I have done with dark-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 293

ness for ever — for ever. Satan is vanquished. No-
thing now remains but salvation, with eternal glory —
eternal GLORY.'' But the conflict was not yet over,
for another paroxysm came on with great violence;
his sufferings were extreme, and confusion and gloom
prevailed. He cried earnestly to God, and said, " All
my calm and comfort are gone ; nothing remains of
them but a faint recollection. Well, after all, God is
greater than Satan. Is not Christ all sufficient ? Can
he not save to the uttermost ? Has he not promised
to save ? Lord, deliver me — suffer not Satan to pre-
vail. Pity, pity, Lord, pity me !" But during all his
severe sufferings of mind and body, not a word of
repining or murmuring ever escaped his lips. He said,
with reference to his dying in this gloom, " I cannot
help it. Thou art righteous! Father, glorify thy
name" And then he repeated those affecting lines
of Watts's paraphrase of the fifty -first psalm,

•' And if my soul were sent to Hell,
Thy righteous law approves it well.
Yet save a trembling sinner, Lord,
Whose hope still hovering round thy word,
Would light on some sweet promise there,
Some sure support against despair."

To his wife, he said, " God be your father and your
husband. I trust all mine will be kind to you. You
have been a great blessing to me. We shall, I
trust, meet in heaven. I have less doubt of you, than
of myself."

A message was received from the Rev. D. Wilson,
his highly esteemed friend, expressing among other
things the great benefit he had been to the church.
"Now this," said he, "is doing me harm. < God be
merciful to me a sinner f is the only ground on which
I can rest. If I am saved, God shall have all the glory."
Having talked too much, he was again distressed,
but having obtained some rest, he awoke in the night,
and said to his youngest son, who sat up with him,
"What is the world and the glory of it? I would not
change my hope, lean and meagre as it is, for all the

25*

294 THOUGHTS ON

kingdoms of the world and the glory of them, were
I sure of living a thousand years longer, to enjoy
them/'

His daughter asked him on Sunday, if she should stay
from church and attend on him, " 0 no," he replied,
" nothing gives me pleasure but what is for your good,
and the thought that you pray for me."

On Monday, he said to the servant who attended
him, " I thank you for all your kindness. You have
been a faithful domestic, and I hope a conscientious
one. If at any time I have been hasty and sharp,
forgive me, and pray to God to forgive, but lay the
blame upon me, not on religion." A similar address
and request he made to his curate. Thus his feelings
continued to alternate for several days, until death
closed the scene. But whatever were his pains, his
prayers were unceasing and most earnest. During the
whole scene, his patience, his kindness, his submission,
his humility, and his faith, were most manifest.

CHAPTER XXII.

Preparation for Death — The state of the Soul after Death.

It was intended to have added the death-bed expe-
rience of the Rev. Dr. Andrew Fuller, and of some
others, but it seemed that this part of the subject had
been extended far enough. Indeed, some may be
ready to inquire, why so much is said respecting the
thoughts and speeches of dying persons ? To which
we would reply, that there is no subject in the world
which ought to be more interesting to all men, since
all men are appointed to die. Whatever other evils
we may escape, " in this war there is no discharge."
It is a scene of which we can have no previous ex-
perience ; and therefore, it is prudent to learn what
we can from the experience of those who have gone

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 295

before us. It is an important and an awful scene, and
should therefore occupy many of our thoughts. If
due preparation has been neglected in life and health,
there is small probability that it will be made on a
dying bed. If I had set down all that I have wit-
nessed and read of the dying exercises of unconverted
sinners, it would have presented an appalling object
for our contemplation. Such scenes have often been
exhibited in print, and are not without their use, but
such narratives did not fall in with the scope of these
essays. But however insipid, or even disgusting these
accounts of the dying exercises of believers may be to
some readers, there is a class, and a large one too, who
will take a deep interest in these things, because they
are now waiting till their change come, and are
looking forward with intense interest to that inevit-
able event of which we have been writing so much.
These are the persons whom the author has had prin-
cipally in view, in selecting these experiences of de-
parting saints; and as the hopes and comforts of the
children of God in life are very various, so he has en-
deavoured to show, that a like variety is found in
their views and exercises, at the time of their depar-
ture out of the world. The writer confesses also, that
in dwelling so long on this subject, he had some re-
gard to his own edification, and preparation for death.
As he knows from infallible evidence, that he will
soon be required to put off this tabernacle, and to
emigrate from this lower world, he was solicitous to ac-
quire as much information as he was able from those
who have gone before, what were the difficulties, suf-
ferings, and encouragements, of pilgrims in this last
stage of their journey. And, however it may be with
others, he has derived instruction and encouragement,
from the contemplation of such scenes as are here de-
scribed. It appears to him supremely reasonable, that
during the short time which remains of his life, he
should be chiefly concerned in the meditation of the
things of another world, and in making actual prepa-
ration for his own departure. He once supposed that
the near approach of death would of 'itself be sufficient

296 THOUGHTS ON

to arouse the mind, and impress upon it the reality
and awful importance of eternal things ; but he finds
by sad experience, that however his judgment is con-
vinced of the certainty of death, and its consequen-
ces, nothing will bring these things to bear on the
heart, but the illumination of the Holy Spirit. He
wishes, therefore, to engage in such reading, medita-
tion, and writing, as may have a tendency to fix his
thoughts on the solemn scene before him, when he
must close his eyes on the light of this world, and
bid adieu to all friends and objects with which he has
been conversant here. He is not of opinion, however,
that the best way to make preparation for death, is to
sit down and pore over the condition of our own
souls, or to confine our exertions to those things
which are directly connected with our own salvation.
We are kept here to do our Master's work, and that
relates to others as well as ourselves. We have a stew-
ardship, of which we must give an account ; and the
faithful and wise steward is careful and diligent in dis-
pensing the blessings committed to him, to others ; this
is especially the case in regard to ministers of the gos-
pel. We have a responsible office, and our account be-
fore the tribunal of Jesus Christ must be solemn and
awful ; and it will not do to relinquish the proper
work of our calling, upon the pretext of seeking our
own salvation. Our own seeking will be entirely
unavailing, without the aid and blessing of God, and
this we may expect most confidently, when we are
diligently engaged in doing his work, wThich is always
the duties of our station and calling. Active duty
must be performed as long as we have strength for
the work ; and like the Levites, we must attend around
the tabernacle and altar, when we are too old for
more laborious services. Many of the faithful ser-
vants of God have expressed a strong desire not to
outlive their usefulness ; and some have wished that
their departure might occur in the very act of preach-
ing. These things we may better leave to the wis-
dom of God, who directs all the circumstances of the
death of his people, as well as of their lives. Even

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 297

when by bodily infirmities, the servants of God are
obliged to desist from public labours, they do not cease
from serving their Master ; their lives are not useless.
His name is as much honoured by patient submission
and cheerful resignation, as by zealous public exertion ;
and the greatest and most effectual work which can be
performed by any on earth, they can perform — I mean
the offering of prayers and intercessions, day and
night, at the throne of grace. Let not the infirm and
aged say, that they can now do nothing for God. They
can do much ; and for ought they can tell, more than
they ever did in the days of their vigour. It is a
beautiful sight to see men laden with fruit, even in old
age. Such fruits are generally more mature than those
of earlier days ; and the aged saint often enjoys a
tranquillity and repose of spirit, which is almost pecu-
liar to that age. David, or whoever is the author of
the 71st Psalm, prays most earnestly a prayer which
should be daily on the lips of the aged, " Cast me not
off in the time of old age ; forsake me not when my
strength faileth." And again, " Now when I am old
and grey-headed, forsake me not, until I have showed
thy strength to this generation, and thy power to all
that are to come." Let the aged then tell to those that
come after them, the works of divine grace which they
have witnessed or which their fathers have told them.
Let them be active as long as they can, and when
bodily strength faileth, let them wield the pen ; or if
unable to write for the edification of the church, let
them exhibit a consistent and shining example of the
Christian temper, in kindness and good will to all ; in
uncomplaining patience ; in contented poverty ; in
cheerful submission to painful providences; and in
mute resignation to the bereavement of their dearest
friends. And when death comes, let them not be afraid
or dismayed; then will be the time to honour God by
implicitly and confidently trusting in his promises. Let
them " against hope believe in hope." It is by faith that
the last enemy must be conquered. He that believeth
shall not be confounded, in this trying hour. The great
Shepherd will not forsake his redeemed flock, for

298 THOUGHTS ON

whom he has shed his blood; and though the adver-
sary may rage and violently assault dying saints,
he shall not overcome them. Each one of them may
say with humble confidence, * Though I walk through
the valley and shadow of death, I will fear no evil,
for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff they com-
fort me."

Let us not desire to make a parade and ostentatious
display on a dying bed. Death has been called the
honest hour, but hypocrisy may be practised even on
a dying bed. Although this event often reveals secrets,
and brings deceived souls to a conviction of the sandy
foundation on which they have built their hopes ; yet
some keep on the mask to the last moment. More,
however, suppress the expression of their fears and
distress of mind. So much is said often about the
manner in which persons meet death, that some good
men have wished and requested to be left very much
alone : they have feared lest they should be tempted
to vain-glory, even on a dying bed; or they have
feared lest their courage should fail them in the last
struggle, and they should, through pain and imbecility
of mind, be left to bring dishonour on their profession.
The late excellent and evangelical Simeon of Cam-
bridge, seems to have been under the influence of a
feeling of this kind. But the best and safest way is
submissively to commit all the circumstances of our
death unto God.

We have no conception of the soul, but as a think-
ing, active being. The body is merely an organ, or
instrument by which the soul acts while connected
with it; indeed, it cannot be demonstrated that the
soul performs all its acts here by the use of this organ.
But whether or not, is of little consequence. We
know that activity belongs to the soul, not to the
body ; and it would be a strange conclusion, that that
which is essentially active, should cease to act, because
it had been deprived of one set of organs. The
only legitimate inference is that when separated from
the body, the mode of action is different from what
it was before. As we learn the various operations

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 299

of the soul, only by experience, it is plain, that we
cannot fully understand or explain the precise mode
of its action after it is separated from the body. Paul
teaches us, that the soul may exist and have conscious
exercises of a very exalted kind ; for he says, speak-
ing of his rapture into heaven, " Whether in the body
or out of the body, I cannot tell." Now, if the soul
could not act without the body, he could have told
certainly that he was in the body, when he witnessed,
in the third heavens, things which it is not lawful for
a man to utter. But this truth is taught more clearly
and directly by Christ himself, when he said to the
penitent thief, on the cross, " This day shalt thou be
with me in Paradise." This testimony is of itself
abundantly sufficient, and there is no evasion of its
force, but by an interpretation so frigid and far-fetched,
that it only serves to betray the weakness of the
cause which it is brought to support. Paul, in an-
other passage, speaks clearly and explicitly on this
point : " Therefore, we are always confident, know-
ing that whilst we are at home in the body, we are
absent from the Lord. We are confident, I say, and
willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be
present with the Lord." In the previous context this
apostle intimates that when the clay tabernacle is
dissolved, the soul will not be found naked, but that
there will be another house ready to receive it ; so
that it will not be unclothed, but clothed upon. " For,"
says he, " in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be
clothed upon with our house, which is from heaven ;
if so be that being clothed, we shall not be found
naked. For we that are in this tabernacle do
groan, being burdened, not that we would be un-
clothed but clothed upon, that mortality might be
swallowed up of life." It would seem, then, that the
soul is never without a suitable dwelling ; it will not
be unclothed; it only passes from one house to an-
other— from an earthly to a heavenly habitation.
But what this celestial clothing will be, of course we
cannot now tell. When Stephen was dying, he cried
" Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." The Lord Jesus is

300 THOUGHTS ON

every where near to his saints ; and as he watches
over his sheep during their whole passage through
the wilderness, so He is especially near to them,
when they come to the "valley and shadow of Death/'
so that they may then sing with the sweet psalmist of
Israel, u When I walk through the valley and shadow
of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me, thy
rod and thy staff they comfort me." But as Jesus
the Lord has his residence in heaven, where he occu-
pies a place on the throne of God, at the right hand
of the Father, and is surrounded by an innumerable
host ready to execute all his commandments; so he
commissions messengers to attend at the dying bed of
believers, and receive the spirits of the just and con-
duct them to his presence. It is evident that the de-
parting soul will need a guide and convoy, for utterly
ignorant of the glorious world into which it has en-
tered, it would not know which way to direct its
course, or where to find its allotted mansion. For
heaven is a wide domain — the house of the Father of
our Lord Jesus Christ, has many mansions, and every
redeemed soul has provided for it, an appropriate
residence, for Christ says, "I go to prepare a
place for you." And that guardian angels are sent
to perform these kind offices for departed saints, we
are not left to conjecture, for we read, that as soon as
Lazarus died, he "was carried by the angels into
Abraham's bosom." There is no reason for supposing
that the privilege now conferred on the beggar, was
peculiar to him ; every saint needs the guidance and
guardianship of angels as well as Lazarus ; and we
may conclude, therefore, that angels will attend on
every departing saint.

Although we cannot now understand, how the
soul will act in the future world, when divested of
the body of clay ; we cannot doubt that its conscious-
ness of its identity will go with it. The memory of
the past, instead of being obliterated, will, in all pro-
bability, be much more perfect, than while the per-
son lived upon earth. It is by no means incredible, that
memory, in the future world, will present to men,

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 301

every thing which they have ever known, and every
transaction in which they were ever engaged. The
susceptibility of joyful emotions will also accompany
the soul into the invisible world; and one of the first
feelings of the departed saint, will be a lively sense
of complete deliverance from all evil, natural and
moral. The pains of death will be the last pangs
ever experienced. When these are over, the soul
will enjoy the feelings of complete salvation from
every distress. What a new and delightful sensa-
tion will it be, to feel safe from every future danger,
as well as saved from all past trouble. But the most
important change experienced at this time, will be a
perfect purification of the soul from sin. The soul,
heretofore struggling with inbred corruption, which
damped its ardour, darkened its views, and stupefied its
feelings, now can act #ithojit any moral obstruction.
Who that has often complained, like Paul, "0 wretch-
ed man that I am, who shall deliver me from the body
of this death V but will feel this to be indeed heaven
begun, when there will no more be felt any secret
working of pride, or envy, or selfishness ; but when
it shall be pure, and sweetly conscious of its own
purity? As perfection in holiness supposes a clear
knowledge of spiritual objects ; so we know, that we
shall no more see the divine glory, as it were, by re-
flection from a glass, but directly, or " face to face."
The soul of man, though probably greatly enlarged,
in its powers, may have new faculties developed, for
which there was no use here, and of which it had
no consciousness ; yet the field of knowledge being
boundless, and our minds being capable of attending
only to one thing at a time, our knowledge of celes-
tial things will be gradually acquired, and not per-
fected at once. Indeed, there can be no limit set to
the progression in knowledge ; it will be endless.
And no doubt the unalloyed pleasures of the future
state, will be intimately connected with this continual
increase of divine knowledge. And as here, know-
ledge is acquired by the aid of instructors, why may
not the same be the fact in heaven ? What a delight-

26

302 THOUGHTS ON

ful employment to the saints who have been drink-
ing in the knowledge of God and his works for thou-
sands of years, to communicate instruction to the
saint just arrived ! How delightful to conduct the pil-
grim who has just finished his race, through the ever
blooming bowers of paradise, and to introduce him to
this and the other ancient believer, and to assist him to
find out and recognize, among so great a multitude, old
friends and earthly relatives. There need be no dis-
pute about our knowing, in heaven, those whom we
knew and loved here ; for if there should be no faculty
by which they could at once be recognized, yet by ex-
tended and familiar intercourse with the celestial in-
habitants, it cannot be otherwise but that interesting
discoveries will be made continually; and the unexpect-
ed recognition of old friends may be one of the sources
of pleasure which will render ileaven so pleasant. But
as the fleshly bond of relationship is dissolved, at death,
it seems reasonable to think, that the only bond of
union and kindred in heaven, will be the spiritual bond,
which unites all believers in one body, and to Christ
their living head ; therefore, we may presume, that
there will be felt an ardent desire to form an acquaint-
ance with the most remarkable personages, who have
lived from Adam downward. Who, if admitted into
paradise, could repress his curiosity to see, and if
possible, to converse with the progenitor of our
race ? Doubtless, he could tell us some things which
we do not fully understand. And who would not
wish to see the first person who ever entered those
blessed abodes from our earth? Aye, and Enoch
too, who never tasted death, and who still pos-
sesses his original body, changed and glorified, it
is true, but still substantially the same? We might
expect to find him in the company of Elijah, who is
similarly circumstanced; and some think that the
body of Moses, though it was dead and buried, was
raised again, as he seems to have appeared in his
own proper body on the mount of Transfiguration.
And where is Abraham, that venerable saint, who in
faith and obedience exceeded all other men, and ob-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 303

tained from God the honourable appellation of " the
Father of the Faithful," and the friend of God ? And
who would be in heaven ever so short a time, with-
out desiring to see Paul, the apostle of the Gentiles ;
and not him only, but Peter, and John, and all the
college of the apostles? But methinks we are in dan-
ger of indulging our imaginations too far, and of trans-
ferring to a heavenly state, too many of the feelings
and associations of our earthly condition. And I am
reminded also, that as the twinkling stars are lost in
the blaze of the rising sun, so there is one Person in
the highest heavens, visible to all who enter that place,
whose glory irradiates all the celestial mansions ; whose
love and smiles diffuse ineffable joy through all the
heavenly hosts, and in whom every believer has an
absorbing interest with which no other can be com-
pared. On his head he wears many crowns, and in
his hand he holds a sceptre by which he governs the
universe ; but yet he exhibits, visibly, the marks of a
violent death, which, for us, he once endured. His
name is, The Word of God, King of Kings, and
Lord of Lords, The Alpha and Omega, The Al-
mighty. And behold, all the angels of God worship
Him. And the host of the redeemed, which no man
can number, sing a song of praise to the Lamb, which
no man can learn, except those that are redeemed from
among men ; for the burden of their song is, " To Him
that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own
blood. These are they that have washed their robes,
and made them white in the blood of the Lamb."
Every redeemed soul, upon being admitted into hea-
ven, will, for a while, be so completely absorbed in the
contemplation of that divine person, that he will be
incapable of paying much attention to any others.
Like that Armenian princess, of whom Xenophon
gives an account, who, after all the rest of the company
had been expressing their admiration of Cyrus, one
praising one thing and one another, upon being asked
what about this royal personage she admired most,
answered, that she did not even look at him, because
her whole attention had been absorbed in admiring

304 THOUGHTS ON

him (her young husband) who had offered to die for
her. But the saved sinner may say, that his attention
was completely absorbed in gazing upon Him, who
not only said that He would die for him, but who
actually did die in his place, and by this sacrifice re-
deemed him from the curse of the law, and from all
iniquity. The sweet and intimate intercourse which
the redeemed soul will have with his Saviour cannot
now be conceived : it will far transcend all the ideas
which we now can form ; and will be a perfection of
bliss so great that nothing can be added to it in any
other way, than by an increase of the capacity of the
soul. But still, all that is enjoyed in this intermediate
state between death and judgment, is but a part of
that felicity to which the redeemed of the Lord are
destined hereafter. It is only the enjoyment of a sepa-
rate soul ; but " the exceeding great and eternal weight
of glory" laid up in heaven for the children of God is
for the whole man, made up of soul and body ; and as
even in this world many pleasures are enjoyed by
means of bodily organs, who can tell what new and
ever varying delights may be let into the soul by means
of bodies of a celestial mould, bodies fashioned after the
model of the glorious body of Jesus Christ ! If our
senses now bring to our view so many glorious objects
both in the heavens and the earth, how rich and de-
lightful will be the vision of the upper heavens by the
eyes of the resurrection body ? Then shall we see
Jesus with our bodily eyes — then shall we behold
what now no tongue can describe, nor even heart
conceive. The departed saints, therefore, though bless-
ed to the full amount of their present capacity, yet
are living in joyful expectation of a more glorious
state. We should not think that the redemption and
resuscitation of the body is a small matter. The
body is an essential part of human nature, and the
glorified body will add to the felicity of the redeemed
in a degree which we have no means of calculating.
The inspired writers, therefore, when they speak of
the blessedness of Heaven, speak sparingly of the
state of the separate soul ; but when they describe the

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 305

resurrection, they seem to be enraptured. Hear Paul,
drawing a comparison between this mortal, corrupt,
and earthly body, and that immortal, pure, and spi-
ritual body, which will be possessed by every saint.
* It is. sown in corruption ; it is raised in incorruption.
It is sown in dishonour; it is raised in glory. It is
sown in weakness; it is raised in power. It is sown
a natural body ; it is raised a spiritual body. As we
have borne the image of the earthy, so shall we bear
the image of the heavenly. For this corruptible must
put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on im-
mortality." No sooner shall these resuscitated bo-
dies open their immortal eyes, than they shall behold
the Son of Man coming in the clouds of Heaven.
And no sooner is the judgment set, than all these shall
be caught up to meet the Lord in the air, and shall
be so highly honoured as to have a place, as asses-
sors, on the judgment seat with Him. And when
the awful transactions of that day are ended, the re-
deemed shall accompany their Lord and Saviour to
Heaven, where they shall be put in full and eternal
possession of that felicity and glory which Christ has
purchased for them by his precious blood. In this
sublime temple, their songs shall mingle with those of
the holy angels, for ever and ever. It need not be
supposed that saints in Heaven will be continually
employed in nothing but praise. This, indeed, will be
their noblest employment ; and the anthems of praise
to God and the Lamb will never cease ; but may we
not reasonably suppose that the exercises and pursuits
of the saints will be various ? The wonderful works of
God will open to their contemplation. They may
be employed, as angels are now, as messengers to
distant worlds, either as instruments of justice or
mercy : for we find that the angels are employed in
both these ways. While, then, one choir surrounds
the throne, and elevates the celestial song of praise
for redemption, others may be employed in executing
the commands of their Lord ; and then, in their turn,
these last may keep up the unceasing praise, while
the first go forth on errands of mercy or wrath.

26*

306 THOUGHTS ON

Some have divided the angels into assisting and
ministeriiig : the first are supposed to be always en-
gaged in acts of worship, while the last are always
employed in other services. But it would be much
more reasonable to suppose, that they all, in turn, take
their part in both these services. Here, however, it be-
comes us to pause, and in deep humility, on account
of our ignorance and unworthiness, to put our hands
on our mouths, and our mouths in the dust. We are
slow to learn earthly things; how then can we com-
prehend those which are heavenly? But if we are
the children of God, we shall have experience of these
celestial employments and never ending joys. Soon,
very soon, these things which are now dimly discerned
by means of faith, will be realized, when every hum-
ble saint shall appear with Christ in glory, and shall
never be exposed any more to danger or suffering.
Let us, then, now begin the song which shall never
cease to Him that loved us and washed us from our
sins in his own precious blood.

;

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 307

PRAYER

FOR ONE WHO FEELS THAT HE IS APPROACHING THE
BORDERS OF ANOTHER WORLD.

0 most merciful God ! I rejoice that thou dost reign
over the universe with a sovereign sway, so that thou
dost according to thy will, in the armies of heaven
and among the inhabitants of the earth. Thou art the
maker of my body, and Father of my spirit, and thou
hast a perfect right to dispose of me, in that manner
which will most effectually promote thy glory : and I
know that whatsoever thou dost, is right, and wise, and
just, and good. And whatever may be my eternal
destiny, I rejoice in the assurance that thy great name
will be glorified in me. But as thou hast been pleased
to reveal thy mercy and thy grace, to our fallen mise-
rable world ; and as the word of this salvation has
been preached unto me, inviting me to accept of eternal
life, upon the gracious terms of the gospel, I do cor-
dially receive the Lord Jesus Christ as my Saviour and
only Redeemer, believing sincerely the whole testi-
mony which thou hast given respecting his divine
character, his real incarnation, his unspotted and holy
life, his numerous and beneficent miracles, his expia-
tory and meritorious death, and his glorious resurrec-
tion and ascension. I believe, also, in his supreme
exaltation, in his prevalent intercession for his chosen
people, in his affectionate care and aid afforded to his
suffering members here below, and in his second com-
ing to receive his humble followers to dwell with him-
self in heaven ; and to take vengeance on his obstinate
enemies. My only hope and confidence of being
saved, rests simply on the mediatorial work and pre-
vailing intercession of the Lord Jesus Christ ; in con-
sequence of which the Holy Spirit is graciously sent
to make application of Christ's redemption, by work-

308 THOUGHTS ON

ing faith in us, and repentance unto life ; and rendering
us meet for the heavenly inheritance, by sanctifying us
in the whole man, soul, body, and spirit. Grant, gra-
cious God ! that the rich blessings of the new covenant
may be freely bestowed on thy unworthy servant. I
acknowledge that I have no claim to thy favour, on
account of any goodness in me by nature; for alas!
there dwelleth in me, that is in my flesh, no good thing;
nor on account of any works of righteousness done by
me ; for all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags.
Neither am I able to make atonement for any one of
my innumerable transgressions ; which I confess before
thee, are not only many in number, but heinous in their
nature, justly deserving thy displeasure and wrath ; so
that if I were immediately sent to hell, thou wouldst
be altogether just in my condemnation. Although I
trust, that I have endeavoured to serve thee with some
degree of sincerity ; yet whatever good thing I have
ever done, or even thought, I ascribe entirely to thy
grace, without which I can do nothing acceptable in
thy sight. And I am deeply convinced, that my best
duties have fallen far short of the perfection of thy
law, and have been so mingled with sin in the per-
formance, that I might justly be condemned for the
most fervent prayer I ever made. And I would con-
fess with shame and contrition, that I am not only
chargeable with sin in the act, but that there is a law
in my members, warring against the law of my mind,
aiming to bring me into captivity to the law of sin and
death. This corrupt nature is the source of innu-
merable evil thoughts and desires, and damps the
exercise of faith and love, and stands in the way
of well-doing, so that when I would do good, evil is
present with me. And so deep and powerful is this
remaining depravity, that all efforts to eradicate or
subdue it, are vain without the aid of divine grace.
And when "at any time I obtain a glimpse of the depth
and turpitude of the sin of my nature, I am over-
whelmed, and constrained to exclaim with Job, " I
abhor myself and repent in dust and ashes. " And
now, Righteous Lord God Almighty, I would not

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 309

attempt to conceal any of my actual transgressions,
however vile and shameful they are. But would pe-
nitently confess them before thee ; and would plead
in my defence, nothing but the perfect righteous-
ness of the Lord Jesus Christ, "who died, the just
for the unjust, to bring us near to God. For his sake
alone, do I ask or expect the rich blessings necessary
to my salvation. For although I am unworthy, he
is most worthy ; though I have no righteousness, he
has provided by his expiatory death, and by his holy
life, a complete justifying righteousness, in which spot-
less robe I pray that I may be clothed ; so that thou
my righteous Judge, wilt see no sin in me, but wilt
acquit me from every accusation, and justify me
freely by thy grace, through the righteousness of my
Lord and Saviour, with whom thou art ever well
pleased. And my earnest prayer is, that Jesus may
save me from my sins, as well as from their punish-
ment ; that I may be redeemed from all iniquity, as
well as from the condemnation of the law ; that the
work of sanctification may be carried on in my soul
by thy word and Spirit^ until it be perfected at thine
appointed time. And grant, 0 Lord ! that as long as
I am in the body, I may make it my constant study
and chief aim to glorify thy name, both with soul
and body, which are no longer mine, but thine ; for I
am " bought with a price" — not with silver and gold,
but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb
without blemish and without spot. Enable me to let
my light so shine, that others, seeing my good works,
may be led to glorify thy name. 0 ! make use of
me as an humble instrument of advancing thy king-
dom on earth, and promoting the salvation of immor-
tal souls. If thou hast appointed sufferings for me,
here below, I beseech thee to consider my weakness,
and let thy chastisements be those of a loving father,
that I maybe made partaker of thy holiness. And
let me not be tempted above what I am able to bear,
but with the temptation make a way for escape.

0 most merciful God ! cast me not off in the
time of old age ; forsake me not when my strength

310 THOUGHTS ON

declineth. Now, when I am old and grey-headed,
forsake me not ; but let thy grace be sufficient for me ;
and enable me to bring forth fruit, even in old age.
May my hoary head be found in the ways of right-
eousness ! Preserve my mind from dotage and im-
becility, and my body from protracted disease and
excruciating pain. Deliver me from despondency
and discouragement, in my declining years, and ena-
ble me to bear affliction with patience, fortitude, and
perfect submission to thy holy will. Lift upon me per-
petually the light of thy reconciled countenance, and
cause me to rejoice in thy salvation, and in the hope
of thy glory. May the peace that passeth all under-
standing be constantly diffused through my soul, so that
my mind may remain calm through all the storms and
vicissitudes of life."

As, in the course of nature, I must be drawing near
to my end, and as I know I must soon put off this
tabernacle, I do humbly and earnestly beseech thee,
0 Father of mercies, to prepare me for this inevitable
and solemn event. Fortify my mind against the ter-
rors of death. Give me, if it please thee, an easy
passage through the gate of death. Dissipate the
dark clouds and mists which naturally hang over the
grave, and lead me gently down into the gloomy val-
ley. 0 my kind Shepherd, who hast tasted the bit-
terness of death for me, and who knowest how to
sympathize with and succour the sheep of thy pas-
ture, be thou present to guide, to support, and to
comfort me. Illumine with beams of heavenly light
the valley and shadow of death, so that I may fear
no evil. When heart and flesh fail, be thou the
strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. Let
not my courage fail in the trying hour. Permit not
the great adversary to harass my soul, in the last
struggle, but make me a conqueror and more than a
conqueror in this fearful conflict. I humbly ask that
my reason may be continued to the last,' and if it be
thy will, that I may be so comforted and supported,
that I may leave a testimony in favour of the reality
of religion, and thy faithfulness in fulfilling thy gra-

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 311

cious promises ; and that others of thy servants who
may follow after, may be encouraged by my example,
to commit themselves boldly to the guidance and keep-
ing of the Shepherd of Israel.

And when my spirit leaves this clay tenement,
Lord Jesus, receive it. Send some of the blessed an-
gels to convoy my inexperienced soul to the mansion
which thy love has prepared. And 0 ! let me be so
situated, though in the lowest rank, that I may behold
thy glory. May I have an abundant entrance admin-
istered unto me into the kingdom of our Lord and Sa-
viour Jesus Christ; for whose sake, and in whose
name, I ask all these things. Amen.

APPENDIX.

LETTERS TO THE AGED.

LETTER I.

The autumn of our life has actually arrived. The
scenes of our youth have fled forever; and the feelings
and hopes of that period have passed away also, or are
greatly changed. When we take a retrospect of the
past, several weighty reflections cannot but press upon
our minds and sadden our hearts. How true do we
now find that trite remark, that the longest life in the
retrospect appears exceedingly short, though in pros-
pect, the same period appeared almost interminable !
Old age has come upon us, (though its approaches were
very gradual,) by surprise ; and even now, except when
feeling something of the infirmities of age, or when
viewing our altered image in the mirror, we are prone
to forget that we are old; and often are impelled to un-
dertake labours to which our strength is no longer com-
petent. Truly our life of three-score, or more, appears
like a dream, when we awake from sleep. And as the
past years have passed so quickly, the few that remain
will not be less rapid in their flight. Indeed, to the
aged, except when they are suffering protracted pain,
time appears shorter than it did when they were young.
Thus at least it seems to the writer : the year, when its
days and weeks and months are numbered, is as long as
ever, but to our sense, it seems to grow shorter. We
are less absorbed and interested in passing scenes than
the young. Life has with us become a sober reality.
The enchanting visions of a youthful imagination have
now entirely vanished. But it brings a solemn and
tenderly melancholy feeling over the minds of the aged,

27 313

314 LETTERS TO THE AGED.

to inquire for the friends and companions of their youth.
How few of these can we now find upon earth? The
ministers whose labours were made useful to us, and
the very sound of whose voice was sweeter than the
richest music, are now lying beneath the clods of the
valley. The beloved friends with whom we were wont
to take sweet counsel, and to whom we could con-
fidingly open our whole hearts, have been torn from
our side. Many dear relatives, loved it may be as our
own life, have slept the sleep of death. Time may have
healed the painful wounds made by such bereavements,
but their loss often leaves a chasm which can never be
supplied ; and, at any rate, a scar which we shall carry
to the grave. There is one reflection connected with
this subject still more sad ; it is, that some in whom we
once delighted, and in whom we reposed strong con-
fidence, have turned aside from the ways of truth and
righteousness in which they appeared to be walking,
and though they may be still walking up and down
upon the earth, are dead to us, and to all those inter-
ests, which once seemed to be common to them and us.
And as to those who remain steadfast, and have con-
tinued their pilgrimage without turning aside into
crooked ways, what a sad change has time made upon
their persons ! Where is the bloom of youth, the robust
strength of manhood, the eye sparkling with intelli-
gence, and the countenance beaming with animation ?
Alas ! they are fled ; and in their place we see the de-
crepid body, the sunken eye, the withered countenance,
and the tottering gait. All are not equally changed
by the ravages of time. Indeed, to some the access of
gray hairs and old age brings an addition of comeliness.
There is something peculiarly lovely, as well as vene-
rable, in the silvery locks and placid countenance of a
good old man. There is in his countenance a chastened
expression of benignity and sobriety, which long ex-
perience alone can produce.

But the bitterest of all reflections to the aged is that
of sins committed, duties omitted, time wasted, and op-
portunities of doing good neglected. — Reflections of
this kind, at certain times, become insufferably painful.

LETTERS TO THE AGED. 315

And although we could not wish to go a second time
through such a pilgrimage ; yet we cannot but wish often
that with our present views, and with the aids of expe-
rience, we could enjoy again the opportunities of use-
fulness, even in these painful regrets and this bitter repen-
tance which were suffered to pass without improvement.
But our deceitful hearts often impose upon us ; and we
give ourselves more credit for present good feelings
than we deserve. For let us only ask ourselves, whether
we now avail ourselves of all the advantages of our
situation to do good. Are we not now guilty of as
gross neglects, as when younger? The probability is,
therefore, yea, the certainty, that if left to ourselves as
much as we were, we should do no better, if we were per-
mitted to live over our unprofitable lives a second time.
But while we should lay aside all fruitless wishes, we
ought certainly to reflect upon our sins and short-com-
ings, until our godly sorrow is so enkindled within us, as
to work a repentance not to be repented of. We cannot
atone for our sins by tears of penitence ; for this we
must have recourse to another fountain, even the blood
of Christ, which cleanseth from all unrighteousness ;
but the flow of ingenuous, godly sorrow has a ten-
dency to soften and purify the heart; and our iniquities
are rendered by this means odious; so that while we
are penetrated with unfeigned gratitude to God for
pardoning mercy, we are rendered more watchful
against our besetting sins, and made to walk more ten-
derly and circumspectly ; and more humbly too; for I
have thought, that the reason why a covenant-keeping
God sometimes permits his children to fall into shame-
ful acts of transgression, is because nothing else but
such a sight of themselves as these falls exhibit, would
sufficiently humble their proud hearts. The recollec-
tion of such sins serves all their life long to convince
them that they ought to place themselves among the
" chief of sinners" and "the least of saints." And this
view of our exceeding depravity of heart, serves to
show us the faithfulness and loving kindness of God in
the strongest light. According to that which he speaks
in Ezek. ch. xvi. 62, 63, "And I will establish my

316 LETTERS TO THE AGED.

covenant with thee ; and thou shalt know that I am the
Lord : that thou mayest remember and be confounded,
and never open thy mouth any more, because of thy
shame, when I am pacified toward thee for all that
thou hast done, saith the Lord God."

My aged friends, permit me to counsel you not to
give way to despondency, and unprofitable repining at
the course of past events. Trust in the Lord, and en-
courage your hearts to hope in his mercy and faithful-
ness. Your afflictions may have been many and sore,
and your present circumstances may be embarrassing,
and your prospects for the future, gloomy. Providence
may seem to have set you up as a mark for the arrows
of adversity. Stroke upon stroke has been experienced.
Billow after billow has gone over you, and almost over-
whelmed you. Truly the time has come, when you
can say, " My joys are gone." But though friends
have been snatched from you, or have proved unfaith-
ful— though children, once your hope and joy are num-
bered with the dead, or what is far worse, profligate or
ungrateful ; though your property has wasted away,
or your riches suddenly taken wings and flown like
the eagle to heaven ; though bodily diseases and pain
distress you; still trust in the divine promise, "I will
never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Though friends
die, God forever liveth. Though your earthly com-
forts and supports are gone, you are heir to an inheri-
tance " incorruptible, undefiled, and that never fadeth
away." Take for your example the prophet Habakkuk,
who triumphantly declares, "Although the fig tree
shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines ;
the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall
yield no meat ; the flock shall be cut off from the fold,
and there shall be no herd in the stalls ; yet I will re-
joice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salva-
tion." Learn to live by faith : no class of people need
the supports of faith and hope more than the aged. —
And not only believe, but act. "Work while it is
called to-day." "To do good, and communicate, for-
get not, for with such sacrifices, God is well pleased."
Yourworkisneverendedwhileyouarein the body. It

LETTERS TO THE AGED. 317

is a sad mistake for aged persons to relinquish their
usual pursuits, and resign every thing into the hands of
their children. Many have dated their distressing melan-
choly from such a false step. The mind long accus-
tomed to activity is miserable in a state of stagnation ;
or rather having lost its usual nutriment, it turns and
preys upon itself. Lighten your burdens, but do not
give up business or study, or whatever you have been
accustomed to pursue. Imbecility and dotage are also
prevented or postponed, or mitigated, by constant exer-
cise of the mind. Keep also as much of your property
if you have any, in your own hand, as is necessary for
your own support, and make not yourselves dependent
on the most affectionate and obedient children. They
will be more affectionate and more respectful when
you are not dependent. Dismiss corroding cares and
anxieties about what you shall do to get a living.
How strange it is, that the nearer men come to the end
of their journey, the greater concern they feel as to the
means of future subsistence. God's hand will provide.
His command to us is, " Be careful for nothing ; but in
every thing by prayer and supplication with thanks-
giving let your requests be made known unto God."

"And the peace of God, which passeth all under-
standing, shall keep your hearts and minds through
Christ Jesus."

LETTER II.

As an aged man, I would say to my fellow-pilgrims
who are also in this advanced stage of the journey of
life, endeavour to be USEFUL, as long as you are
continued upon earth. We are, it is true, subject to
many peculiar infirmities, both of body and mind, to
bear up under which requires much exertion, and no
small share of divine assistance ; but still we have
some advantages not possessed by the young. We

27*

318 LETTERS TO THE AGED.

have received important lessons from experience, which,
if they have been rightly improved, are of inestimable
value. The book of divine providence, which is in a
great measure sealed to them, has been unfolded to us.
We can look back and contemplate all the way along
which the Lord has led us. — We can now see the wise
design of our Father, in many events, which, at the
time, were dark and mysterious. The knowledge to
be derived from studying the book of God's provi-
dence, cannot be communicated to another ; the lessons
are like the name upon the white stone, which none
can read but he that has it. The successive events of
our lives we can make known, but the connexion
which these events have with our character, our sins,
and our prayers, can be full f understood only by our-
selves. He who neglects to study the pages of this
book, deprives himself of one most important means
of improvement ; yet many professors of religion ap-
pear to pay little or no attention to the providence of
God, in relation to themselves. If they meet with
some severe judgment, or some great deliverance, their
attention is arrested, and they acknowledge the hand
of God in the dispensation ; but as to the succession of
ordinary events, they seem to have no, practical belief
that they are ordered by divine providence, or have
any important relation to their duty or interest. I
would affectionately entreat my aged "brethren to make
the dealings of God's providence towards themselves,
a subject of careful study. There is within our reach,
except in the Bible, no source of instruction more im-
portant. And to aid you in this business, permit me
to recommend to your careful perusal, two little vol-
umes on Providence, which I have found useful and
comfortable to myself. The first is, Flavel's * Mys-
tery of Providence Opened " ; and the other is, Bos-
ton's "Crook in the Lot." These excellent treatises
may be read over and over again with profit. Per-
haps, the best method of studying such books is, not to
read the whole at once, or in a short time, but to
peruse a few paragraphs at a time, and then reflect
upon the subject, and make -application of what we

LETTERS TO THE AGED. 319

read to our own case. And while I am recommend-
ing works on this subject, I ought not to omit mention-
ing Charnock's treatise on " Providence. " I confess I
am not so familiar with this as the treatises before
mentioned, but I have found his other writings, espe-
cially those on the Divine Attributes, so surpassing in
excellence, that I feel willing to recommend any thing
which ever proceeded from his pen.

I began this letter with an exhortation, to endeavour
to be useful, while you live. To comply with this,
you should, in the first place, guard vigilantly against
those faults and foibles, into which old people are apt
to fall. We must be careful not to mistake moroseness
for seriousness, austerity for gravity, or discontent with
our condition, for deadness to the world.

Why should the aged be more peevish and morose
than others? If they are pious, there can be no good
reason for it; but it is not difficult to account for the
fact. In the decline of life a gradual change takes
place in our physical system, by which the mind is
considerably affected ; and often positive disease is
added to this natural change. The nervous system is
debilitated and shattered ; and in consequence, the spi-
rits are apt to sink, or to become irregular. To these
may be added, the afflictions and disappointments
which most experience in the course of a long life, by
which the temper is apt to be soured. And when
men, by reason of the decay of mind and body, be-
come disqualified for the same active services which
they were long accustomed to perform, and these fall
into the hands of juniors, whom they knew when
children, it is very natural to feel, as if the world was
turning round — as if every thing was going wrong.
Old men have always been wont to laud the times long
past, when they were young, and to censure all the
innovations which have come in since. Sometimes,
also, the aged experience a neglect from the young,
and even a want of respect from their own children,
which is exceedingly mortifying, and tends much to
foster that acerbity of temper so frequently found in
the aged. But although these and other similar things

320 LETTERS TO THE AGED.

may be truly pleaded in extenuation of the fault under
consideration ; yet they do by no means amount to an
apology which exculpates us from blame. And that
old age is not necessarily accompanied by these unami-
able traits of character is proved by many happy ex-
amples. Some aged persons exhibit an uniform cheer-
fulness and serenity of mind ; and the remarkable fact
has been recorded in regard to a few, that a naturally
irritable temper has been softened and mellowed, in-
stead of being exacerbated by old age. If I recollect
rightly, this is mentioned as true in relation to the
Rev. Dr. Rodgers of New York, by his biographer,
my respected colleague, the Rev. Dr. Miller. The late
venerable Dr. Livingston of the Dutch Reformed
Church, President of their College and Seminary, was
distinguished by uniform cheerfulness to a very ad-
vanced age ; and his cordial and affectionate manners
were remarked and felt by all who approached him.
The Rev. John Newton, of London, seems to have
possessed, with large measures of divine grace, a very
happy physical temperament. It is delightful to con-
template the old age of such a man. And while I am
mentioning recorded examples of a temper in old age
deserving of imitation, I would recall to the remem-
brance of my readers the case of the Rev. Dr. Thomas
Scott, who, at a period of life when most men relin-
quish all severe labour, actually undertook to learn the
Arabic language, that he might be able to give instruc-
tion to the missionaries going to the East. It has often
been noticed, that piety is apt to decline with the de-
cline of manly vigour. If this be really a common
event, it is exceedingly to be deplored. But, perhaps,
it is more in appearance than reality. It requires much
stronger faith, and feelings of warmer piety to enable
an old man to go forward in his course with zeal and
alacrity, than for a young man, who is buoyed up and
borne along by the vigour of youthful passions, to do
the same. But I rejoice to know, that piety does not
always even appear to grow cold, by the descent into
the vale of years. In some Christians it evidently goes
on advancing ; and their growth in grace is much more

LETTERS TO THE AGED. 321

rapid in this period of life, than any other. As they
approach nearer to heaven, their hearts and their con-
versation are more in heaven. 0 that it might be thus
with us all ! As these letters are intended also for my
aged friends of the female sex, I would recommend to
their notice and imitation the old age of Mrs. Hannah
More. From her first appearance as a Christian, she
seems to have gone on advancing in evangelical know-
ledge, and ardent piety, until she was completely super-
annuated. And even then, she lost nothing of the
respect and affection, which by her pious and benevo-
lent labours she had gained ; for still, when her memo-
ry was so impaired that she did not remember the
books she had written, the elevation of her piety and
the enlargement of her benevolence remained unim-
paired. And it is truly a delightful thought that when
in the wreck of mind, the whole cargo of knowledge
seems to be lost, and parents no longer recognize their
#own children, religion, where it was possessed, still
remains. Jesus Christ is never forgotten. Pious
sentiments are never obliterated. Cicero in his beau-
tiful little treatise on Old Age, in which many judicious
and pleasing sentiments are expressed, when speaking
of the decay of the memory, says, that he never heard
of a miser forgetting the place where he had buried
his treasure. What the mind prizes most is longest
retained in memory. It is often remarked, and justly,
'how beautiful does unaffected piety appear in youth !'
But it may as truly be said, 'how amiable and vene-
rable is exalted piety in old age !'

It has been said that avarice is peculiarly the sin of
age : we often hear of an old, but scarcely ever of
a young miser. This may be true in regard to those
who have cherished the love of the world all their
lives. They will hug their treasures with a closer
grasp, and their affections will be more concentrated on
them, when other objects are removed ; but this vice
does not originate in old age, it is only the mature fruit
of the seed planted in early life ; and though it becomes
deeply radicated in old age, it is not now so much the
desire of acquiring wealth, as of holding fast what they

322 LETTERS TO THE AGED.

have got. The folly of the miser who hoards his
money without a thought of using it, is easily shown,
and has often been ridiculed. But the truth is, that all
ardent pursuit of worldly objects beyond what is neces-
sary for the real wants of nature, might be demon-
strated to be equally absurd. But whatever men of
the world may do, let not Christians dishonour their
holy profession by an inordinate love of the world.
Especially, let not the aged professor bring into doubt
the sincerity of his religion, by manifesting a covetous
disposition. " Take heed," said the Great Teacher,
" and beware of covetousness ; for a man's life con-
sisted not in the abundance of the things which he
possesseth." Many begin the world with little, and
the claims of an increasing family render it necessary
to exercise much diligence and economy to make a
living; but thus it often happens that an avaricious
disposition under the semblance of necessity, and even
of duty, strikes its roots deep into the soul, ere the*
man is aware of any danger. Indeed, it is almost im-
possible to convince a man of the sin of covetousness,
while he avoids open acts of injustice or fraud. Dear
friends, it is time for many of you to give up the fur-
ther pursuit of wealth ; unless your object is to acquire
the means of doing good. But beware of the deceit-
fulness of the heart. Covetousness will allow you to
promise such an appropriation of your gains. But
put yourselves to the test by a simple experiment.
Ask yourselves whether you are now willing to make
that use of the property which God has given you,
that his honour and the advancement of Christ's king-
dom require. If you indeed find in yourself that
disposition to consecrate all that you have to the glory
of God, then it may be lawful to go on to acquire fur-
ther means of usefulness. But whatever you now
possess, or may hereafter acquire of this world's goods,
for your soul's sake, set not your affections on these
perishable things. Be not proud of your wealth.
Neglect not while you live, to do good and communi-
cate, Remember that you are but the stewards of the
wealth which you possess, and therefore it is required

LETTERS TO THE AGED. 323

of you to be faithful in the distribution of what is put
into your hands. If you have tried the plan of parsi-
mony, lest you should lessen your estate, now try the
plan of wise liberality, and see whether that saying of
Christ is not verified by experience, that " It is more
blessed to give than to receive."

Whether in the former periods of our lives, we have
had prosperity or have passed through the deep waters
of affliction, it is nearly certain that in our old age we
shall feel the strokes of adversity. If our friends have
been preserved in life thus far, yet we know they must
all die. If hitherto we have enjoyed uninterrupted
health, yet now we must expect to encounter pain and
disease. — Old age itself may be called the common dis-
ease of our nature, which can only be ■ escaped by
death. Mr. Newton, in one of his last letters, says
that he had but one disease, but that was incurable,
which was old age. Then, my dear friends, let us set
an example of patience and cheerful resignation under
the afflictions which may be laid upon us. The pas-
sive virtues are more difficult to be exercised than the
active; and God is perhaps more honoured by quiet
submission to his will under sufferings, than by the
greatest achievements of zeal and exertion. Eat let
us never forget that we have not the least strength in
ourselves. We are dependent on the grace of God for
every good thought and desire. But if we trust in
Him we shall never be ashamed.

LETTER III.

I have no doubt that you have remarked with sur-
prise, that the impression of the reality and importance
of eternal things is not increased by the nearness of
your approach to the end of your course. Time glides
insensibly away, and it is with us in this respect, as in
relation to the globe on which we reside. While other

324 LETTERS TO THE AGED.

things appear to be in motion, our feeling is that we are
stationary. The mere circumstance of being old seems
to affect no one with a more lively concern about the
salvation of the soul. — None appear to be more blind
and stupid in regard to religious matters, than many
who are tottering on the brink of the grave. This, in-
deed, is so commonly the fact, with those who have
grown old without religion, that very little hope is en-
tertained of the conversion of the aged, who have from
their youth enjoyed the means of grace. And it is also
a fact, that real Christians are not rendered more deeply
sensible of the awful importance of eternal things, by
becoming old and infirm. The truth is, that nothing
but an increase of faith by the operation of the Holy
Spirit, will be effectual to prepare us for that change
which we know is rapidly approaching. Counsels and
exhortations, however, are not to be neglected, as God
is pleased to work by means. I have, therefore, under-
taken to address to you such considerations as occur to
me. Having already spoken of the infirmities and sins
which are apt to cleave to us in advanced years, I pro-
pose in this letter, to inquire what are the peculiar duties
incumbent on the aged. What would the Lord have
us to do ? — for undoubtedly, we are not privileged to
fold our hands, and sit down in idleness, as if our work
was ended. Indeed, it would be no privilege to be
exempt from all occupation. Such a life to the aged
or the young, must be a life of misery ; for man never
was made to be idle, and his happiness is intimately
connected with activity. We may be no longer quali-
fied for those labours which require much bodily
strength — we may, indeed, be so debilitated or crippled
by disease, that we can scarcely move our crazy frame
— and some among us may be vexed with excruciating
pain — yet still we have a work to perform for God,
and for our generation. If we cannot use our hands
and feet, so as to be useful in the labours which we
were wont to perform, yet we may employ our tongues
to speak the praises of our God and Saviour. We may
drop a word of counsel to those around us ; and espe-
cially, the aged owe a duty to the young, to whom

LETTERS TO THE AGED. 325

they may have access, and who are related to them.
Every aged Christian must have acquired much know-
ledge from experience, which he should be ready to
communicate as far as it is practicable. Why is it, my
dear friends, that we suffer so many opportunities of
usefulness to pass without improvement ? Why are we
so often silent, when the suggestions of our own con-
science urge us to speak something for God? How is
it, that we consume hours in unprofitable talk, and
seldom attempt to say any thing which can profit the
hearers? We may plead inability — we may excuse
ourselves, because we are unlearned and not able
to speak eloquently and correctly — but let us be
honest ; is not the true reason because our own hearts
are so little affected with these things? We cannot
consent to play the hypocrite, by uttering sentiments
which we do not feel ; and we have often been dis-
gusted with the attempts of others, who, in a cold and
constrained manner, have introduced religious conver-
sation. It is easy to see where the fault lies ; it is in
the state of our own hearts. Let us never rest, then,
until we find ourselves in a better state of mind. Let
us get our hearts habitually under the influence of
divine things, and then conversation on this subject,
will be as easy as on any other. " Out of the abundance
of the heart, the mouth speaketh." There are com-
panies and occasions, when to obtrude remarks on re-
ligion, would be unseasonable and imprudent ; for we
must not cast our pearls before swine : but, in most
cases, an aged person may give utterance to season-
able and solemn truths, without offence — and very often
a word spoken in season, has been the means of saving
a soul ; and the advice and exhortation of parents and
pious friends, are remembered and prove salutary, after
their heads are laid low under the clods of the valley.

I have often heard aged persons, incapable any longer
of active service, express surprise that their unprofitable
lives were so long protracted; while the young and
laborious servants of God were cut off in the midst of
their years. The dispensations of God are indeed in-
scrutable— " his ways are past finding out" — and we

28

326 LETTERS TO THE AGED.

are too little acquainted with his counsels, to sit in
judgment on them. But I would say to those who
think that they can be of no further use in the world,
that they do not form a just estimate of the nature of
the service which God requires, and by which he is
glorified by his creatures upon earth. AH true obe-
dience originates in the heartland consists essentially
of the affections of the heart : external duties are to be
performed, but are only holy as connected with holy
motives. The aged man may serve God, therefore, as
sincerely and fervently as any others, if only the heart
be right in the sight of God. He can glorify God in
his spirit, by thinking affectionately of his glorious
name, by contemplating his divine attributes, and by
exercising love and gratitude towards him. — His devo-
tion might thus approach more nearly to our concep-
tions of the services and exercises of the saints in
heaven. But it may be that the lives of some are
lengthened out, that they may offer up many prayers
for the church and for the world ; for, after all the ac-
tivity and bustle and zeal apparent, there is no service
which can be performed by mortals, so effectual as
prayer. — Here there is a work to which the aged may
be devoted. While Joshua and the men of war contend
with the Amalekites in the battle, Moses assists by
lifting up his hands in prayer ; and when he is, through
fatigue, no longer able to hold them up, he is assisted
by Aaron on one side, and Hur on the other. If you
cannot preach, you can, by prayer, hold up the hands
of those who do. You can follow the missionary, who
leaves all to go and labour in heathen lands, with your
daily and fervent prayers. It is not in vain for you to
live, while you have access to a throne of grace. Be-
fore the advent of Christ, there were some aged per-
sons who seem to have been preserved in life, that they
might pray for this event, and that they might enjoy
the pleasure of seeing the answer of their prayers,
and embracing Him in. their arms, whom they had so
often embraced by faith. While all around was spiri-
tual death and desolation, and corruption and error had
infected all classes, from the priesthood downward,

LETTERS TO THE AGED. 327

there was a little band who had taken up their resi-
dence in the temple, or often frequented this holy place,
who were waiting for the consolation of Israel. Two
of these were Simeon and Anna; but there were others
of the same character ; for we read that this very aged
and pious widow, who departed not from the temple,
but served God with fasting and prayers, night and
day, "spake of Christ after she had seen him, to all
them who looked for redemption in Israel" The
darker the times, the more closely do the truly pious
adhere to each other. This little knot of praying peo-
ple knew each other, and no doubt spake often one to
another; and in this case, the Lord hearkened and
heard ; for the object of their desires and prayers was
given to them. Was the life of Anna an unprofitable
life, although she never left the temple, and did nothing
but fast and pray ? Was Simeon a useless member of
the church, because he was probably too old for labour?
The truth was — and the same is often verified — that
the true church of God was at this time confined to a
few pious souls ; while the priests and the scribes and
the rulers, had neither part nor lot in the matter. As
God preserved Simeon, according to a promise made
to him, until he saw the Lord's Christ, so he may be
lengthening out the lives of some of you, my aged
brethren, until you may have the opportunity of seeing
the salvation of Israel come out of Zion. Do you not
wish to be witnesses of the rise and glory of the church ?
Pray then incessantly for the peace and prosperity of
Jerusalem. Consider it as your chief business, to pray
that the kingdom of God may come. — What though
the signs of the times be discouraging — what though
you live in troublous times — what though the church
may be shaken, and the prospects of her increase be
dark, yet remember that she is founded on a rock, and
the gates of hell cannot prevail against her. The vessel
which carries Christ, though it be buffeted by storms,
is in no danger of being wrecked. But to govern and
direct does not belong to you ; your duty is to pray
—to pray without ceasing — to wrestle with the angel

328 LETTERS TO THE AGED.

of the covenant, and not to let him go until he bless
you. Give him no rest until he establish and make Jeru-
salem a praise in all the earth. You cannot offend by
importunity, but by this you will be sure to prevail ;
for " will not God hear his own elect, who cry day and
night unto him ?" — Therefore, never hold your peace,
but as long as you live intercede with him to fulfil his
gracious promises, and to cause the earth to be filled
with the knowledge of himself as the waters cover the
sea, when his people shall be all righteous, and there
shall be no need any longer for any one to say to his
neighbour, Know the Lord, for all shall know him from
the least to the greatest.

Thanksgiving is also a duty peculiarly incumbent on
the aged. In the providence of God you are spared,
whilst most of your coevals have been cut off in the
midst of their career. Some of you have enjoyed
almost uninterrupted prosperity. When you consider
the dispensations of God's providence towards you, in
the time and place and circumstances of your birth, in
giving you pious and intelligent parents, who took care
of your health and education, and in following you
with goodness and mercy all the days of your life ;
giving you kind friends, faithful teachers, health and
reason, together with abundant religious privileges,
how thankful ought you to be ! But that which above
all other things enhances your obligations to gratitude
is, that in his own good time He effectually called you
from the devious paths of iniquity, and adopted you as
a child into his own household and family, and per-
haps has made you the instrument of much good to
others ; if not on a large scale, yet in your own family,
and in the church of which you are a member. If now,
to all these blessings, he has given you pious children,
who promise, when you are gone, more than to
supply your place in society; or even if they have
been preserved from infidelity and disgraceful immo-
ralities, and are disposed to pay a serious attention to
the preaching of the gospel, no words can express your
obligations to give thanks unto the Lord, and continu-

LETTERS TO THE AGED. 329

ally to praise his name, whose mercy endureth forever
and ever. "Let us, therefore, offer the sacrifice of
praise to God continually — that is, the fruit of our lips,
giving thanks to his name."

LETTER IV.

There is one remaining subject, my dear friends, to
which I wish to call your attention. I refer to the
solemn event of our departure out of life. Whatever
may be uncertain in the future, concerning this there
cannot exist the shadow of a doubt, — " It is appointed
unto men once to die." " I know that thou wilt bring
me to the house appointed for all living." " The
grave is mine house." But we do not need the voice
of revelation to assure us of our mortality: the evi-
dence is daily before our eyes. Hundreds of our race
close their eyes in death every day. The grave is
never satisfied ; nor says, It is enough. Of the thou-
sands of millions who have inhabited this globe, no
more than two have escaped the dissolution of the
body. And we are as certain as we can be of any
thing, that all future generations shall go the same way,
until Christ shall suddenly make his glorious appear-
ance, coming in the clouds of heaven, with all his
mighty angels. The men who shall then be found
upon the earth shall not die, but they shall undergo a
transformation equivalent to the death and resurrection
of the body. " Behold," says Paul, " I shew you a
mystery ; we shall not all sleep, but we shall all be
changed in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at
the last trump, for the trumpet shall sound." If then
the second coming of Christ should occur, before our
departure from life, we should, indeed, escape a literal
death; but we can scarcely cherish the faintest hope
of this kind. Prophecy, leads us to believe, that many
ages of the world are still future, and that the most

330 LETTERS TO THE AGED.

glorious period of the church is to come ; when the
gospel shall not only be preached to all nations, but
shall be embraced by all ; " when the earth shall be
full of the knowledge of God, as the waters cover the
sea."

Death, when viewed merely by the light of nature,
is truly an appalling event. It is commonly preceded
by disease, or the decrepitude of old age. The separa-
tion between the soul and body is usually accompa-
nied with a convulsive struggle, and the appearance of
extreme agony; so that "the pangs of death," and
" the agonies of death," are familiar phrases among all
people. It is manifestly an unnatural event ; that is,
these constituent parts of human nature do not seem
willing to part, but the severance of the one from the
other is brought about by the operation of some violent
cause. That the soul instinctively and strongly cleaves
to its tenement as long as it can, and by every possible
means resists the separation, requires no proof. That
in some instances this adherence to life is counteracted,
so that persons voluntarily put an end to this union of
soul and body, or desire to leave the body, furnishes
no evidence to the contrary : it only shows that it is
possible for causes to be put into operation which are
even stronger than our attachment to this life. Besides
the pains and agonies of dissolution, there are other
circumstances which render death an object abhorrent
to human feelings. It is a forcible and everlasting
separation from all persons and things with which we
have been conversant on earth. In it, we take a final
leave of our dearest friends and beloved relatives, dear
to our hearts as our own lives. Husbands are divorced
from their wives ; parents separated from their children ;
brothers and sisters must part; friends — who often
stick closer than brothers — here have the tenderest
bonds sundered. The scenes to which we have long
been accustomed ; the houses in which we have long
dwelt; the churches where we have met the solemn
assembly of God's people, must all be left behind.
The old man's arm-chair is left vacant; his place in
the house of God is empty ; the social circle of which

LETTERS TO THE AGED. 331

he formed a part is broken ; and the work which he
was accustomed to perform stands still, or falls into
other hands. And he who departs, leaving behind him
numerous attached friends, cannot avoid the foresight
of the deep affliction. Already, before his eyes are
closed, he sees the mournful group crowding around
his dying bed, to catch the last look of affection, — to
hear the last broken tones of a voice soon to be silent
in death. The heart-breaking and tears of affectionate
relatives often form one of the most painful circum-
stances attending the death of a good man. He might
well express his feelings in the language of Paul, on
another occasion : " What mean ye to weep and to
break my heart ?" But if the dearest friends which
the dying man has, attempt to save themselves and
him from the almost intolerable pang of separation, by
withdrawing from the mournful scene ; this, in a very
small degree, if at all, mitigates the dreaded pang.
The imagination often paints the scene in more vivid
colours than the reality. When the husband gasping
for his last breath, observes the absence of the beloved
partner of his joys and sorrows, he knows that she is
gone into some secret chamber " to weep there." And
she cannot withdraw into any recess so secluded, as
not to seem to hear the deep-drawn sighs and heavy
groans, to see the ghastly looks and contortions of him
on whom all her earthly reliance has been long placed.
I would say then, take her not away from the bed-side
of the dying husband. Let her hold his trembling,
cold hand to the last. Let him have the comfort of
casting his last look on the object of his tenderest affec-
tions. The Rev. Samuel Davies — a name so deservedly
loved and revered in Virginia — has a poem, in which
he describes the feelings of a husband and wife, ten-
derly attached, in the prospect of the dissolution of
either first. But there is not much to choose between
the two cases, as far as relates to the parting scene.
Those, however, who are left behind are most deserv-
ing of compassion. They who die in the Lord are at
once blessed, because they rest from their labours ; but
they who survive are often burdened with sorrow, and

332 LETTERS TO THE AGED.

with a desolate heart go mourning all the day, envel-
oped in the sombre weeds of grief, and their heads
hang down as the bulrush. It seems to me, however,
that the mourning on account of the decease of pious
friends, ought to be very moderate, and our tears soon
dried up. What better can we ask for our friends,
than that they might be safely lodged in the bosom of
Abraham; where they will enjoy to the full such " good
things" as they could never hope to enjoy in this
world? There is, however, one case of the death of
dear relatives, to which the aged especially are liable,
in which there is but one topic of consolation ; that is,
the departure from life of those in whose end there is
no ground for scriptural hope. At the prospect of this
judgment my soul has often trembled. May a merci-
ful God avert it from every pious parent ! If we were
persuaded that we had uniformly done our duty to-
wards our deceased friends, the stroke would not be so
heavy; but when remorse for unfaithfulness mingles
its bitter streams with the sorrow occasioned by bereave-
ment, the cup must be bitter beyond conception. On
this subject, however, I have met, among professing
Christians, with what I consider a fault on both ex-
tremes. A venerable clergyman, who had lost a be-
loved son, who never gave, as far as known, any
evidence of genuine repentance or faith in the Lord
Jesus Christ, was unable to bear up under the reflec-
tion that his dear child was in a state of hopeless misery ;
he therefore sought relief to his agonized mind, by
cherishing an error contrary to the analogy of his whole
system of theology. He said to me, I cannot bring
myself to think that a moral and amiable person,
brought up under the gospel, and assenting to its doc-
trines, will, by a gracious God, be made eternally mis-
erable in hell, although he may not have experienced
a change of heart. 0 sad necessity, which drives a
good man to such a resource for support and comfort !
But this is the practical belief of multitudes of profes-
sors. They hold the doctrine of regeneration and its
necessity as a matter of creed and theory, but in fact,
they believe otherwise. A gay and blooming young

LETTERS TO THE AGED. 333

lady, who probably had never spent one half hour in
serious thought, was suddenly carried off by an acute
disease, which was so rapid and violent in its progress,
that little or no opportunity was afforded for conversa-
tion with the pastor or pious friends. — When some
serious person lamented the unprepared state of the
deceased, the suggestion was received in a Christian
congregation and by nominal Christians with a sort of
indignation ; as though it was an evidence of unchari-
table bigotry, to believe one of the plainest doctrines
of the Bible. — The other extreme is — peremptorily de-
ciding upon the case of those who die without having
given evidence of a change of heart. This case I will
also illustrate by an anecdote which I know to be true.
The brother of a zealous preacher of the gospel came
to his end suddenly by the starting of his horse, by
which his brains were knocked out against a tree ; and
it was conjectured that the young man had been in-
dulging too freely in the use of intoxicating liquor.
When the brother above mentioned came to the house,
where the corpse was laid out, he raised the covering
from the face, and, after a solemn pause, said, with an
audible voice, " There lies the senseless body, but the
soul is burning in hell :" And this, too, when the room
was full of people. The true doctrine on this subject
is, that friends may indulge, hope in relation to these
deceased friends, as far as they can consistently with
the truth of God ; but let no one seek healing for his
wounded spirit, by "denying the faith." Even when
there is no positive evidence of a change, we may
resort to the possibility that it might have taken place
in the last moments ; for who has a right to set limits
to the mercy of God, when he has not limited himself?
There is great danger, however, of expressing opin-
ions or hopes, which may lead careless sinners to
indulge in carnal security. It is much better, in such
cases, to be silent. Some ministers, whom I have
known, have been so solicitous to keep sinners from
delaying repentance, that they have inculcated the
opinion, that a death-bed repentance is not only uncer-
tain, but absolutely ineffectual, and that no hope can

334 LETTERS TO THE AGED.

be justly entertained for those who never repented
until the last hour. It is true, that many who on a
sick-bed appear penitent, when they recover, soon lose
all their serious impressions, and return with renewed
avidity to the pursuits of the world. Their repentance
is thus proved to have been spurious. But every fit
of fear, produced by the near prospect of death, ought
not to be called repentance ; or at any rate, that re-
pentance which, in scripture, is connected with the
pardon of sin— which is a real change of the views
and tempers of the mind — by which a man becomes a
new creature, old things having passed away, and all
things having become new. All repentance on a death-
bed is not, however, by these instances proved to be
spurious, any more than all conversions of people in
health are proved to be counterfeit — because a great
many such are to be met with. I have seen cases of
repentance on a death-bed, as satisfactory, and in which
I had as much confidence as in any that I have
known among those in health, prior to the evidence of
a good life. And why should it be supposed that a
gracious God will never manifest his power and grace
in the conversion of a sinner on a sick-bed ? If this
should once be admitted as a principle, it would be
worse than useless for a minister of the gospel, or any
other pious person, to visit an unconverted sinner when
on a sick-bed; or to give any answer to his most anx-
ious inquiry, " What shall I do to be saved?" I recol-
lect to have heard a preacher from the pulpit, solemnly
aver that there was no instance in the Bible of the
conversion of an aged sinner. This is another ultra-
ism, which has no good foundation. One of the most
remarkable cases of the conversion of an exceeding
great sinner, recorded in the- sacred Scriptures, is of an
aged man. I refer to the late repentance of king Ma-
nasseh. There is no man, of whom mention is made
in the sacred volume, to whom a worse character is
given, as one that exceeded the worst of the heathen
in his abominable idolatries : — " Moreover, Manas-
seh shed innocent blood very much, till he had filled
Jerusalem from one end to the other." It is true, it is

LETTERS TO THE AGED. 335

not expressly said, that his repentance occurred in his
old age, but it may, with strong probability, be inferred
from the history. (2 Chron. xxxiii.)

If, among my readers, there should be any aged per-
sons who are still impenitent, I would earnestly and
affectionately exhort them, not to despair of God's
mercy; there still may be hope in their case. My
dear fellow-sinners, there is nothing in God's word,
which excludes you from salvation, unless you volun-
tarily and obstinately exclude yourselves, by a rejec-
tion of the overture of reconciliation. Christ says to
you, as much as to others, "Ye will not come unto me
that ye may have life."

I find that I shall be under the necessity of claiming
the old man's privilege of rambling from one subject
to another : and, in writing to the aged, I hope I shall
be excused for my prolixity in this letter. I have not
fulfilled my own purpose, either as to the subject mat-
ter or length ; and the consequence will be the inflic-
tion of another epistle. But before I conclude this, I
wish to say that death, viewed in the light of Scrip-
ture, exhibits a very different aspect from what it does
when viewed by the light of nature; both as it relates
to the sinner and the saint. In regard to the former,
Ave are taught in the volume of truth, " that death was
introduced by the transgression of man." The penalty
of the original law given to man was, " In the day
thou eatest thereof (that is, of the forbidden fruit) thou
shalt surely die." And when man became guilty, the
sentence was denounced, u Dust thou art, and unto
dust thou shalt return" — the execution of which pen-
alty has been going on from that day to this, sweeping
off generation after generation, until almost every part
of the earth is filled with dust which once constituted
the bodies of men. Even reason, when soberly con-
salted, would indicate that death comes as the punish-
ment of sin ; for otherwise, the transition from one
state of existence to another, would not, under the
government of a good God, be attended with so much
pain and fear. Bat, what reason discovers only in dim
perspective, revelation writes as with a sunbeam:

336 letters to the aged.

"The wages of sin is death." "As by one man
sin entered into the world, and death by sin ;
so death hath passed on all men, for that all
have sinned."

On the other hand, true believers are now delivered
from the curse of the law, and consequently from
death, as it is a curse. We may say, therefore, that
the righteous shall never taste death ; for Christ, the
Lord, hath solemnly averred, " If a man keep my say-
ings, he shall never see death." Accordingly, the in-
spired writers of the New Testament, commonly speak
of the decease of Christians as a "sleep." "Them
that sleep in Jesus will God bring with him." " We
shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed." And
of Stephen, it is said, when he " kneeled down, and
said with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their
charge, he fell asleep." But when the word death
is retained, it must be understood to have a new sense
in relation to the children of God. It is death despoiled
of his sting. It is the outward appearance of death,
while its nature is entirely changed — so changed, that
the curse is converted into a blessing. That which is
a rich gain cannot be a curse ; but to the sincere fol-
lower of Christ, "to die is gain." That which may
be lawfully an object of ardent desire, cannot be of
the nature of a penalty or curse ; but Paul had a de-
sire to depart and be with Christ, and the same desire
has been felt by thousands since. But to cut the mat-
ter short, death is placed in the category of the richest
blessings. "For all things are yours, whether Paul,
or Apollos, or Cephas, or the world, or life, or death,
or things present, or things to come, all are yours."
The true Christian, then, has no reason to be appalled
at the necessity of entering this darkly shaded valley.
Dear friends, if we only approach, holding up the torch
of revelation by faith, the dismal gloom which has
gathered over the tomb will be immediately dissipated.
Faith looks beyond this darkness and across this val-
ley, and beholds a celestial city, the new Jerusalem.
Though much indebted to John Bunyan, — one of the
most fertile geniuses the world ever produced — I can-

LETTERS TO THE AGED. 337

not easily forgive him for making the passage over
Jordan to Canaan so very difficult for Christian. If
he had carried out the allegory, he would have turned
the swelling waves backward, and have shewn a dry
path across the stream ; for no sooner had the priests,
who carried the ark of the testimony, dipped their feet
in the brim of the river than — " all the Israelites passed
over on dry ground." But, after all, perhaps, the hon-
est tinker drew his picture from the fact ; for as Chris-
tians seldom enjoy in life the comfort provided for
them, so it is analogous, that in death they should want
that comfort to which in Christ they are entitled.

LETTER V.

Can we do any thing to render our% death — which can-
not be far off — both safe and comfortable ? No doubt,
by God's assistance, we can do mu<^. to accomplish
these desirable ends, if we will set about the work in
good earnest. I know that there is a feeling of despon-
dency habitually existing in the minds of some aged
persons of serious disposition, which leads them to con-
clude, that if they are not now prepared to die, they
never will be. And from all the acquaintance which
I have had with professors of religion, I am constrained
to think that, as their near approach to the grave does
not increase their impressions of the importance of
eternal realities, so old age has no tendency to render
the evidences of their union with Christ more clear and
satisfactory. You may frequently inquire of a dozen
such professors in succession, whether they have ob-
tained a comfortable assurance of the goodness of their
spiritual condition, and the probability is, that four out
of five, if not nine out of ten, will answer in the nega-
tive, and will express serious doubts whether they were
ever the subjects of regenerating grace. It was not,
I believe, always so with those who cordially received

29

338 LETTERS TO THE AGED.

the doctrines of grace, and rested their souls upon them.
To say nothing about the joyful confidence and assured
hope of the apostles and primitive Christians, the mem-
bers of the first reformed churches seem to have derived
from the pure doctrines of the Bible a high degree of
peace and joy. The same was the fact among the pious
Puritans of Old and New England; and the Presbyterians
of Scotland, in the best and purest days of the Scottish
church. The question has often occurred, why does
the belief of these doctrines afford less comfort now,
than in former times. It is not my purpose, at pre-
sent, to attempt to account for this fact. I adduce it
merely to show, that most professors among us, are
not actually prepared for death. Even if their state
should be one of safety, they cannot view their ap-
proaching end with confidence and comfort. And
whilst their evidences of genuine piety are so dubious,
they of course cannot know that they are in a safe con-
dition. It is, then, of the utmost importance that all
professors of the ab.ove description, and especially the
aged, should be importunately urged " to give diligence
to make their cal^ng and election sure." I am aware
that some Christians, who enjoy very comfortable evi-
dences of being the adopted children of God, are not
willing to profess that they have arrived at full assur-
ance. They suppose that they who have attained to
this high privilege are in a state of uninterrupted joy,
and that no shadow of doubt ever passes over their
minds. The truth is, they do possess a solid assurance,
although their frames of mind are not always equally
comfortable, and although the evidence is not so great
.that it cannot be increased. I recollect, when very
young, to have heard a judicious minister conversing
with an eminently pious old lady, who had belonged
to the church under the care of the Rev. Samuel Davies,
in the county of Hanover. In answer to some inquiry
respecting the comfort which she enjoyed in the ser-
vice of her Divine Master, she said, after expressing
lively feelings of faith, penitence and gratitude, " but,
my dear friend, I have never yet attained to the faith
of assurance; all J can say is, that I have the faith of

LETTERS TO THE AGED. 339

reliance. " "Well," said the minister, "if you know
that you have the faith of reliance, that is assurance. "
The degrees of evidence possessed by different Chris-
tians, are various, from the feeblest hope up to strong
confidence, and the clearness of the evidence to the
same person varies exceedingly; but in general, there
seems to be in our church a sad falling below par in
respect to this matter. It has, however, often been
correctly observed, that we are not to expect dying
grace, before the dying hour arrives. God gives
strength as we need it ; and when the believer is called
to severe trials, or to difficult duties, he commonly re-
ceives aid proportioned to the urgency of his wants,
and is surprised to find himself held up by a power not
his own. Thus we have often seen the sincere hum-
ble Christian, who, during life, was subject to bondage
through fear of death, triumphing in the dying hour.
This expectation of special aid ought to be encouraged.
It is, indeed, a part of that preparation which we should
make ; and if we confidently rely on the great Shep-
herd to meet us, and comfort us, while walking through
the valley and shadow of death, he will not disap-
point us.

But, in dealing with professors troubled with doubts,
we are too apt to proceed on the assumed principle,
that notwithstanding their sad misgivings and fears,
they are at bottom sincere Christians, and have the
root of the matter in them ; while in regard to many,
this may be an entire mistake, and we are in danger
of cherishing in them a fatal delusion. Here the skill
and fidelity of the spiritual watchmen are put to the
test ; and while they should not deviate a hair's-breadth
from the rule of the divine word, it is better that the
pious Christian should suffer some unnecessary pain,
than that the false professor should be bolstered up
with delusive hopes. I must say, therefore, that the
true reason why many professors have no comfortable
evidence of their religion, is because they have none.
They have never experienced the new birth ; and being
still dead in trespasses and sins, it is no wonder that
that they cannot find in themselves what does not exist.

340 LETTERS TO THE AGED.

I abhor a censorious spirit, which, upon slight grounds,
judges this and that professor to be graceless ; but all
my experience and observation lead me to believe that,
in our day as well as in former times, the " foolish vir-
gins" constitute a full moiety of the visible church.
What I would urge, therefore, on you, my aged friends,
and on myself, is a more serious, impartial, and thorough
examination into the foundation of our hope of heaven,
than perhaps we have ever yet made. — Let us go back
to the commencement of our religious course, and see
whether, in our present more mature judgment, we can
conclude that we were then the subjects of a saving
change. I do not ask you whether you had an in-
crease of serious feelings, or whether your sympathies
were strongly excited and experienced some change
from a state of terror or distress to comfort ; for all these
things may be experienced, and have been experienced
by unregenerate persons. Let us carefully inquire
whether the habitual tenor of our lives has been such
as to satisfy us that a new nature was received. If
we have fallen into sin, have we deeply and sincerely
repented of it? Have we wept bitterly for our sin, like
Peter? or have we mourned in deep sorrow, like
David ? Not such repentance as some experience, who,
after all their convictions and confessions, return again
to the same course of iniquity. But, after all exami-
nations of past experience, the main point is, what is
the present, habitual state of our hearts? Do we now
love God as his character is exhibited in his word?
Do we hunger and thirst after holiness, or a complete
conformity to the law of God ? Would we be willing that
that law should be relaxed in its demands to afford us
some indulgence ? Do we seek our chief happiness in
the favour of God, and in communion with him in his
word and ordinances ? Is his glory uppermost in our
desires, and do we sincerely wish and determine to do
all that we can to promote the kingdom of the Re-
deemer ? Do we sincerely love the people of God, of
every sect and name, because they bear his image, and
are the redeemed children of God? Again: what is
the ground on which we expect the pardon of sin and

LETTERS TO THE AGED. 341

the favour of God ? Is it because we are better than
many others? Is it because we have had what we
esteem great experiences ? Is it on account of our moral
demeanour, or charitable benefactions ? Dare we trust in
any measure to our own goodness and righteousness ?
If we build on any of these, or on any similar grounds,
then are we on a sandy foundation, and all our tower-
ing hopes must fall. But, methinks, I hear the humble
penitent saying, " all these things I count loss for Christ
— I feel that I deserve to die — I never was more con-
vinced of any thing, than that it would have been per-
fectly just for God to send me to hell. And now, all
my trust and all my hope, if I know my own heart, is
in the Lord Jesus Christ, and in his perfect right-
eousness and intercession ; and all my confidence of
being able to serve God hereafter, or to persevere for
a single day, is in the grace of the Holy Spirit. The
whole evidence of Christian character may be reduced
to two particulars — entire trust in Christ for justifica-
tion, and a sincere and universal love of holiness, with
a dependence on the Holy Spirit for its existence, con-
tinuance and increase. If, my friend, you have these
evidences noio, you need not perplex yourself by a
multitude of scruples. You may dismiss your doubts.
God's word will never deceive any who rely upon its
guidance. You may not know the day nor even the
year, when spiritual life commenced in your soul ; and
yet, if you now feel its warm pulsations — if you breathe
its genuine aspirations — if your heart's treasures are
in heaven, and if the cause of God is dearer to you than
any other interest — if his people are dearer to you than
any other people — if your most constant and supreme
desire is to glorify God your Redeemer, whether by
living or dying — then may you welcome death. He
is no king of terrors to you. You may say, "Come,
Lord Jesus, come quickly !"

Perhaps some of you are afraid of the pangs of death.
You have heard of the convulsive struggle — the dying
groans — the difficult breathing — and the ghastly coun-
tenance ! Well, it must be confessed, the scene is ap-
palling ; but it is soon over, forever. I am of opinion,

29 *

342 LETTERS TO THE AGED.

however, that often, there is the appearance of dreadful
suffering where the patient is unconscious of any very-
acute pain ; and very frequently, the departure of the
immortal spirit is, at the last, like falling into a gentle
sleep. And not unfrequently, while the body is racked
with pain, or with what would produce pain in other
circumstances, the soul is so supported and comforted
by the sweet peace of God poured into it, that the dis-
orders and convulsions of the body are scarcely thought
of. And in many instances, God takes his people away
by a sudden stroke ;- — they know nothing about it, until
they awake in heaven. 0 ! what a transition ! Or, if
it be necessary to let in the light of glory gradually,
God, who knows our constitution, will order all things
well. But I would advise you to meditate much on
death. Collect, and have in memory, a number of pre-
cious promises for the occasion. Put up many prayers
for grace and strength for a dying hour. Beg an in-
terest in the intercessions of your Christian friends.
Keep your minds calm, and yield not to perturbing
cares. Be found at your post, when the summons comes,
with your loins girded and lights burning. Settle be-
forehand all your worldly affairs.

COUNSELS OF THE AGED TO THE YOUNG.

It is a matter of serious regret, that young persons are
commonly so little disposed to listen to the advice of
the aged. This prejudice seems to have its origin in
an apprehension, that austerity and rigour naturally be-
long to advanced years ; and that the loss of all suscep-
tibility of pleasure from those scenes and objects which
afford delight to the young produces something of an
ill-natured or envious feeling towards them. Now, it
cannot be denied, that some of the aged are chargeable
with the fault of being too rigid in exacting from youth
the same steady gravity, which is becoming in those
who have lived long, and have had much experience
in the world : not remembering, that the constitutional
temperament of these two periods of human life is very
different. In youth, the spirits are buoyant, the sus-
ceptibilities lively, the affections ardent, and the hopes
sanguine. To the young, every thing in the world
wears the garb of freshness; and the novelty and
variety of the scenes presented keep up a constant
excitement. These traits of youthful character, as long
as irregularity and excess are avoided, are not only
allowable, but amiable ; and would in that age be
badly exchanged for the more sedate and grave emo-
tions which are the natural effects of increasing years,
and of long and painful experience. But it is greatly
to be desired, that the lessons of wisdom taught by
the experience of one set of men should be made avail-
able to the instruction of those who come after them.
We have, therefore, determined to address a few short
hints of advice to the rising generation, on subjects of
deep and acknowledged importance to all ; but pre-
viously to commencing, we would assure them, that
it is no part of our object to interfere with their in-
nocent enjoyments, or to deprive them of one pleasure
which cannot be shown to be injurious to their best

343

344 COUNSELS OF THE AGED

interests. We wish to approach you, dear youth, in
the character of affectionate friends, rather than in that
of dogmatical teachers or stern reprovers. We would,
therefore, solicit your patient, candid and impartial
attention to the following counsels :

I. Resolve to form your lives upon some certain
principles, and to regulate your actions by fixed rules.
Man was made to be governed by reason, and not by
mere accident or caprice. It is important, therefore,
that you begin early to consider and inquire, what is
the proper course of human conduct, and to form some
plan for your future lives. The want of such con-
sideration is manifest in the conduct of multitudes.
They are governed by the impulse of the moment,
reckless of consequences. They have fixed no steady
aim, and have adopted no certain principles of action.
Living thus at random, it would be a miracle if they
went uniformly right. In order to your pursuing a
right path, you must know what it is, and to acquire
this knowledge, you must divest yourselves of thought-
less giddiness, you must take time for serious reflection.
It will not answer, to adopt without consideration the
opinions of those who may be about you; for they
may have some sinister design in regard to you ; or
they may themselves be misled by error or prejudice.
Persons already involved in dissipation or entangled in
error, naturally desire to keep themselves in coun-
tenance, by the number of followers whom they can
seduce into the paths of vice. As reasonable creatures,
therefore, judge for yourselves what course it is right
and fitting that you should pursue. Exercise your
own reason independently and impartially, and give
not yourselves up to be governed by mere caprice and
fashion, or by the opinions of others.

II. While you are young, avail yourselves of every
opportunity of acquiring useful knowledge. — Reason
should guide us ; but without correct knowledge reason
is useless ; just as the most perfectly formed eye would
be useless, without light. There is in every man a
natural thirst for knowledge, which needs only to be
cultivated and rightly directed. All have not equal

TO THE YOUNG. 345

opportunities of obtaining important knowledge : but
all have more advantages for this object than they im-
prove. The sources of information are innumerable :
the principal, however, are books and living men. In
regard to the former, no age of the world which has
passed, was so favoured with a multiplicity of books as
our own. Indeed, the very number, and diversity of
character and tendency of authors now create one of
the most obvious difficulties to those who are destitute
of wise advisers. It would be an unwise counsel, to
tell you to read indiscriminately whatever comes to
hand. The press gives circulation not only to useful
knowledge, but to error dressed up plausibly in the
garb of truth. Many books are useless, others are on
the whole injurious, and some are impregnated with a
deadly poison. Waste not your time in works of idle
fiction. Touch not the book which exhibits vice in an
alluring form. Seek the advice of judicious friends in
the choice of books.

But you may also learn much from listening to the
conversation of the wise and good. There is scarcely
a person so ignorant, who has lived any time in the
world, that cannot communicate some profitable hint
to the young. Avail yourselves, then, of every op-
portunity of learning what you do not know; and let
not pride prevent you from seeking instruction, lest by
this means you should betray your ignorance. Cherish
the desire of knowledge, and keep your mind con-
stantly awake, and open to instruction, from every
quarter.

But, especially, I would recommend to you the ac-
quisition of self-knowledge. "Know thyself" was
a precept held in such high esteem among the ancients,
that the honour of inventing it was claimed for several
of their wisest men ; and not only so, but on account
of its superlative excellence, it was believed by many
to have been uttered by the oracle of Apollo, at Del-
phos ; at which place, as Pliny informs us, it was con-
spicuously written in letters of gold, over the door of
the temple.

And this species of knowledge is also inculcated in

346 COUNSELS OF THE AGED

the Christian Scriptures, as most useful and necessary.
"Examine yourselves/' says Paul, "whether ye be
in the faith; prove your own selves; know ye not
your own selves?" And in the Old Testament,
the value of this knowledge is also fully recognized,
where we are exhorted " to commune with our own
hearts," — and "to keep our hearts with all diligence."
And the possession of it is made an object of fervent
prayer : " search me, 0 God, and know my heart, try
me, and know my thoughts," — " examine me, 0 Lord,
and prove me, try my reins and my heart."

As this knowledge is necessary to all, so it is placed
within the reach of all. But it cannot be acquired
without diligent self-examination. To this duty there
exists, in human nature a strong repugnance ; partly
from natural, and partly from moral causes ; so that,
by most, it is entirely neglected, to their exceeding great
detriment. But, when it is attempted, we are in great
danger of being misled by self-love and prejudice. To
acquire any true knowledge of ourselves, some good
degree of honesty and impartiality is essentially requi-
site. But an honest desire to arrive at the truth is not
the only prerequisite to self-knowledge. The mind
must be enlightened in regard to the standard of recti-
tude, to which we ought to be conformed. "The
entrance of thy word giveth light." The word of God
should dwell richly in us, and by the rules and princi-
ples of the sacred volume, we should form all our sen-
timents respecting ourselves. This is the candle of the
Lord which searcheth the inward parts of man ; and
without such a lamp it would be as impossible to obtain
any considerable degree of self-knowledge, as to dis-
tinguish the objects in a dark room, without a light.
Self-examination, accompanied with a careful perusal
of the Holy Scriptures, will lead us daily to a more
thorough knowledge of our own character.

Beware of the common illusion of forming your
estimate of yourselves, from the favourable opinions
of those around you. They cannot know the secret
principles from which you act ; and flattery may have
much influence in leading them to speak in your praise.

TO THE YOUNG. 347

Seize favourable opportunities of judging of the
latent strength of your passions. The fact is, that
until some new conjuncture or occasion elicits our feel-
ings, we are as ignorant of what is within us, as other
persons.

Study also your constitutional temperament, and
consider attentively the power which particular objects
and circumstances have over you. You may often
learn even from your enemies and calumniators what
are the weak points in your character. — They are
sagacious in detecting faults ; and, generally, have
some shadow of pretext for what they allege against
us. We may, therefore, derive more benefit from the
sarcasms of our foes than from the flattery of our
friends.

Learn, moreover, to form a correct estimate of your
own abilities, as this is necessary to guide you in your
undertakings.

III. Be careful to form good habits. Almost all
permanent habits are contracted in youth ; and these
do in fact form the character of the man through life.
It is Paley, I believe, who remarks, that we act from
habit nine times, where we do once from deliberation.
Little do young persons apprehend the momentous
consequences of many of their most frequently repeated
actions. Some habits are merely inconvenient, but
have no moral quality; others affect the principles of
our conduct; and become sources of good or evil, to
an incalculable degree. As to the former, they should
be avoided, as detracting from our comfort, and ulti-
mately interfering with our usefulness; but the latter
should be deprecated, as laying the foundation of a
wicked character, and as standing in the way of all
mental and moral improvement.

IV. Be particular and select in the company which
you keep, and the friendships which you form. 'Tell
me/ says the proverb, 'what company you keep, and
I will tell you what you are/ 'Evil communications
corrupt good manners.' Vice is more easily and ex-
tensively diffused by improper companions, than by
all other means. As one infected sheep communicates

348 COUNSELS OF THE AGED

disease to a whole flock ; so one sinner often destroys
much good, by corrupting all the youth who fall under
his influence. When vicious men are possessed of wit
and fascinating manners, their conversation is most
dangerous to the young. We would entreat you, dear
young friends, to form an intimacy with no one whose
principles are suspicious. The friendship of profligate
men is exceedingly dangerous. Listen not to their fair
speeches, and warm professions of attachment. Fly
from contact with them, as from one infected with the
plague. Form no close alliance with such. No more
think of taking them to your bosom, than you would a
viper. — Gaze not on their beauty, nor suffer yourselves
to be charmed with their fascination of manners. Un-
der these specious appearances, a deleterious poison
lurks.

6 Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers/
is the exhortation of scripture. And what can be more
unseemly and incongruous, than for an amiable and
virtuous woman to be indissolubly united to an un-
principled debauchee ? Or, for a good man to be con-
nected with a woman destitute of piety and virtue ?
Be especially careful, therefore, in forming alliances for
life. Seek a connexion with the wise and good, and
you will become wiser and better by converse with
such.

V. Endeavour to acquire and maintain a good re-
putation. ' A good name is rather to be chosen than
great riches.' A ruined fortune may be recovered, a
lost reputation never. Young men are often laying
the foundation of an unenviable reputation, while they
are thinking of no such thing. They never dream that
the character which they attain at school or college,
will probably be as lasting as life. The youth who is
known to be addicted to falsehood, knavery, treachery,
&c, when arrived at the age of man, will be viewed
by those who know him with distrust. A stain on the
character is not easily washed out ; at a distant period
the faults and follies of youth may be revived to a
man's confusion and injury. But especially is the
female character exquisitely delicate. A small degree

TO THE YOUNG. 349

of imprudence will often fix a stigma on the gay young
lady, which no subsequent sobriety can completely
erase.

We do not mean, that the young should cherish a
false sense of honour, which would lead them to fight
and contend for reputation. No man ever secured or
increased a good name, by shedding the vital blood of
a human being. The reputation which we recommend
must arise from a life of consistent and uniform well-
doing. Prize such a character, as of inestimable value
to your own peace, and as a most powerful means of
usefulness. The most potent human engine of utility
is influence ; and this depends entirely on reputation.

VI. Manage your worldly concerns with economy
and discretion. Avoid the inconvenience, embarrass-
ment, and vexation of being in debt. Conduct your
business with attention and diligence ; and have your
accounts in such a condition, that you will be at no
loss to ascertain the true state of your affairs. Men
often become unjust, and injurious to others, without
having intended any such thing, merely by a confused
and careless manner of transacting their business. Such
a man, after a while, feels an unconquerable aversion
to a scrutiny into his affairs. He shuts his eyes against
the ruin which he is bringing on himself, and heed-
lessly rushes forward in the path which habit or fash-
ion has rendered agreeable. When, at length, an exi-
gence arrives, which constrains him to adopt some
measure to extricate himself from his difficulties, he is
placed under strong temptation to resort to a course
which is not strictly honourable. He persuades him-
self, that if he can save his credit for the present, he
will be able to rectify every thing, by diligence and
good fortune, and to preserve his friends from suffering
on his account. But these efforts to recover lost ground
commonly prove ineffectual, and render the situation
of the person more involved than before. He finds, at
length, that he is sinking; and this discovery often
produces a desperate recklessness. He plunges deeper
and deeper into debt ; and often drags to ruin, not only
his own family, but some of his friends who confided

30

350 COUNSELS OF THE AGED

too implicitly in his truth and integrity. It is also too
common for men who have failed in trade, to resort to
means for the support of a helpless family, which a
sound moral faculty never can approve. The tempta-
tion arising from the tender love of wife and children
is indeed very strong, but not invincible. In the com-
mercial world, there are many illustrious examples of
merit, honour, and the strictest probity, in men who
had it in their power to defraud their creditors, or
to deeply involve their confiding friends, but who
chose rather to look haggard poverty in the face, and
to see their beloved families descending from affluence
into the vale of obscurity, than to be guilty of a dis-
honourable act. And in the long run this turns out
more to the benefit of those persons, than any advan-
tage obtained by a resort to shifts and evasions not
entirely consistent with the highest integrity. He who
sacrifices reputation for present comfort, buys it at too
dear a rate. The merchant, who, when he fails, loses
his reputation for truth and integrity, will meet with
but little favour from the world, and will have very
little chance of rising again. But he who has been
unfortunate, and yet maintains his integrity, and pre-
serves his character unsullied, is often able to enter
again into business under favourable auspices; and is
encouraged and aided in his attempts to gain a living,
by men of wealth and standing ; so, that such a man is
often successful to such a degree, that he has it in his
power to compensate those from whom benefit was de-
rived in the day of his calamity. Beware of being
governed by ambition in your commercial enterprises.
The pride of doing a large business, and of being con-
sidered as at the head of the profession, seduces many
aspiring young merchants: and greediness of gain
tempts still more to engage in hazardous speculations,
and to trade to an extent not authorized by the capital
which they have at command. In this way bankrupt-
cies become so common that the event ceases to excite
much surprise. Families delicately educated, and long
accustomed to the luxuries as well as the comforts of
life, are reduced to poverty. Multitudes of such fa-

TO THE YOUNG. 351

milies are found in our large commercial cities, who
are really more properly the objects of benevolence,
than the common beggar who clamorously solicits your
charity. The real privations and sufferings of such are
not fully known; for, from the desire of avoiding the con-
tempt and the pity of vulgar minds, such persons spread
a decent veil over their indigence, and prefer to pine
secretly in want rather than to seek relief by a public
disclosure of their necessities. The Christian philan-
thropist will, however, seek out such sufferers, and will
contrive methods of bestowing relief upon them in a
way consistent with the delicacy of their feelings.

The above remarks are particularly adapted to those
who engage in commerce ; but they are not inappli-
cable to others. It is true, integrity is the soul of a
merchant; but it is a sterling quality which every man
ought to possess ; and all men are liable to be reduced
to a state of indigence by a long series of untoward
events. My counsel then is, that you commence and
pursue business with prudence ; and when unfortunate,
that you so act as to preserve your integrity and your
reputation, by resorting to no equivocal means of relief;
but resolve to act in conformity with the strictest rules
of justice and honour.

VII. Aim at consistency in your Christian character.
There is a beauty in moral consistency which resembles
the symmetry of a well proportioned building, where
nothing is deficient, nothing redundant. Consistency
can only be acquired and maintained by cultivating
every part of the Christian character. The circle of
virtues must be complete, without chasms or obliquities.
A character well proportioned and nicely balanced in
all its parts, we are not very frequently permitted to
witness ; for, while in one branch there is vigour, and
even exuberance, in another there may be the appear-
ance of feebleness and sterility. The man who is dis-
tinguished for virtues of a particular class is apt to be
deficient in those which belong to a different class.
This is so commonly the fact, that many entertain the
opinion that the same person cannot excel in every
virtue. Thus, it is not expected that the man of re-

352 COUNSELS OF THE AGED

markable firmness and intrepidity, should at the same
time be distinguished for meekness and gentleness.
But after making due allowances for a difference of
constitutional temperament, we must maintain, that
there is not, nor can there be, any incompatibility be-
tween the several virtues of the Christian life. They
are all branches of the same root, and the principle
which affords nourishment to one, communicates its
virtue to all. As all truth is harmonious, however
it may, on a superficial and partial view, seem to be
contradictory ; so all the exercises of moral goodness
are not only consistent, but assist and adorn each other.
This is so much the case, that symmetry of Christian
character has, by some distinguished casuistical writers,
been laid down as a necessary evidence of genuine-
ness; and it has been insisted on, as probable, that
where one virtue seems to exist in great strength, while,
others are remarkably wanting, it is a mark of spurious-
ness. There is much reason in this view of the sub-
ject ; for men are frequently found whose zeal blazes
out ardently and conspicuously, so as to leave most
others far back in the shade, while they are totally des-
titute of that humility, meekness, and brotherly kind-
ness, which form an essential part of the Christian
character. Some men are conscientious and punctilious
in the performance of all the rites and external duties
connected with the worship of God, who are inatten-
tive to the obligations of strict justice and veracity in
their intercourse with men : and on the other hand,
many boast of their morality, and yet are notoriously
inattentive to the duties of religion. Real Christians,
too, are often chargeable with inconsistency, which
arises from a want of clear discernment of the rule of
moral conduct, in its application to particular cases;
for while the general principles of duty are plain, and
easily understood by all, the ability to discriminate be-
tween right and wrong, in many complicated cases,
is extremely rare. This delicate and correct perception
of moral relations, can only be acquired by the divine
blessing on our assiduous exertions. It is too com-
monly taken for granted, that Christian morals are a sub-

TO THE YOUNG. . 353

ject so easy, that all close study of it is unnecessary.
This is an injurious mistake. Many of the deficiencies
and inconsistencies of Christians, are owing to a want
of clear and correct knowledge of the exact rule of
moral conduct. On no subject will you find a greater
diversity of opinion, than in regard to the lawfulness
or unlawfulness of particular practices : and even good
men are often thrown into difficulty and doubt, respect-
ing the proper course to be pursued. But while many
cases of inconsistency arise from ignorance of the exact
standard of rectitude, more must be attributed to heed-
lessness and forgetfulness. Men do not act sufficiently
from principle, but too much from custom, from fashion,
and from habit. Thus many actions are performed
without any inquiry into their moral character. There
is an obtuseness in the moral sensibility which permits
evils to pass without animadversion. Another cause
of the inconsistency so commonly observed, is the pre-
valence which certain passions or appetites may obtain,
in the time of temptation. The force of the internal
principles of evil is not perceived, when the objects and
circumstances favourable to their exercise, are absent.
As the venomous adder seems to be harmless while
chilled with cold, but soon manifests his malignity when
brought near the fire ; so sin often lies hid in the bo-
som, as though it were dead, until some exciting cause
draws it forth into exercise ; and then the person him-
self is surprised to find the strength of his own passions,
above any thing which he had before conceived. Thus
men often act, in certain circumstances, in a way alto-
gether contrary to the general tenor of their conduct.
It is by no means a fair inference from a single act of
irregularity, that the person who is guilty of it has acted
hypocritically in all the apparent good actions of his
former life. The true explanation is, that principles of
action which he has commonly been able to govern and
restrain, acquire, in some unguarded moment, or under
the power of some strong temptation, a force which his
good principles are not at that moment strong enough
to oppose. The man who is usually correct and orderly
may thus be overtaken in a fault ; and as all are liable

354 counsels or the aged

to the same frailties, there should exist a disposition to
receive and restore an offending brother, when he gives
sufficient evidence of penitence. Man, at his best estate
in this world, is an inconsistent creature. The only-
persons hi whom this defect is not observed are the
men who by grace live near to God, and exercise a
constant jealousy and vigilance over themselves. But
when faith is weak and inconstant, great inconsist-
encies will mar the beauty of the Christian character.
Young persons ought, therefore, to begin early to exer-
cise this vigilance, and to keep their hearts with all
diligence, lest they be ensnared by their own passions,
and overcome by the power of temptation. I counsel
you then, my young friends, to aim at consistency.
Cultivate assiduously every part of the Christian cha-
racter ; so that there may appear a beautiful proportion
in your virtue.

The reflections to which I have been led in speaking
of consistency of Christian character, suggest the im-
portance of urging upon you the government of your
passions. A man who has no control over his pas-
sions, is justly compared to a ship at sea, which is
driven by fierce winds, while she neither is governed
by the rudder nor steered by the compass. By indul-
gence, the passions gain strength very rapidly ; and
when once the habit of indulgence is fixed, the moral
condition of the sinner is most deplorable, and almost
desperate. To preserve consistency, it is necessary to
be well acquainted with the weak points in our own
character, to know something of the strength of our
own passions, and to guard beforehand against the oc-
casions and temptations which would be likely to cause
us to act inconsistently with our Christian profession.
Many men have successfully contended with their own
passions, and although naturally of a hasty and irritable
temper, have, by constant discipline, brought them-
selves into a habitual state of equanimity ; so that how-
ever they may be conscious of the strugglings of the
natural passions, they are kept so completely under re-
straint, that to others they do not seem to exist. — The
anecdote which is related of Socrates and the physiog-

TO THE YOUNG. 355

nomist, is instructive on this point. When the latter,
upon examining the lines of the philosopher's face, pro-
nounced that he was a man of bad temper, and exceed-
ingly irascible, the disciples of Socrates laughed him to
scorn, as having betrayed the weakness of his art, by
so totally mistaking the true disposition of their master;
but he checked their ridicule, by acknowledging that
his natural temper had been truly represented by the
physiognomist, but that by the discipline of philosophy,
he had been able to acquire such a mastery over his
passions, that their existence was not apparent. To
achieve a victory of this kind, is more honourable than
to conquer in the field of battle ; according to that of
the wise man, " He that is slow to anger is better than
the mighty ; and he that ruleth his spirit, than he that
taketh a city;" And again, " He that hath no rule
over his own spirit, is like a city that is broken down,
and without walls." Learn then, my young friends,
to bridle your passions, and govern your temper, from
your earliest days.

VIII. Be contented with the station and circum-
stances in which Providence has placed you. Never
repine at God's dealings towards you, nor envy those
who are above you in worldly advantages. Consider
not so much what you want, as what you have ; and
look less at those above you, than at those in inferior
circumstances. Accustom yourselves to look on the
bright, rather than the dark side of the picture. Indulge
not in unreasonable fears, nor give way to feelings of des-
pondency. Exercise fortitude, and maintain tranquillity
of mind. Be not ruffled and disconcerted by every little
cross event which may occur. Place not your happiness
at the disposal of every one who may be disposed to speak
an unkind word, or to do an unhandsome thing. Learn
to possess your souls in patience, believing that when
appearances are darkest, the dawn of a more comfort-
able day is near.

IX. Let your intercourse with men be marked by
a strict and conscientious regard to truth, honour, jus-
tice, kindness and courtesy. We should certainly have
recommended politeness, as a happy means of polish-

356 COUNSELS OF THE AGED

ing social intercourse, and affording pleasure to those
with whom you are conversant ; but many are accus-
tomed to connect an unpleasant idea with this word.
But, surely, genuine politeness, if not itself a virtue,
spreads a charm and a beauty over that which is vir-
tuous. And, certainly, there is no merit in awkward-
ness and clownishness. But our chief object under this
particular is to urge upon you a constant and punctilious
regard to the social virtues. Be honest, be upright,
sincere, men of your word, faithful to every trust, kind
to every body, respectful where respect is due, generous
according to your ability, grateful for benefits received,
and delicate in the mode of conferring favours. Let
your integrity be unsuspected. Never resort to any
mean or underhand measure : but let your conduct and
conversation be characterized by frankness and candour,
by forbearance, and a spirit of indulgence and forgive-
ness. In short, "do unto others as you would have
them do unto you."

X. Live not merely for yourselves, but also for the
good of others. Selfishness contracts the soul, and
hardens the heart. The man absorbed in selfish pur-
suits is incapable of the sweetest, noblest joys of which
our nature is susceptible. The author of our being
has ordained laws, according to which the most exqui-
site pleasure is connected, not with the direct pursuit
of our own happiness, but with the exercise of bene-
volence. On this principle it is, that he who labours
wholly for the benefit of others, and as it were forgets
himself, is far happier than the man who makes him-
self the centre of all his affections, the sole object of
all his exertions. On this principle it was, that our
Saviour said, " It is more blessed to give, than to re-
ceive." Resolve, therefore, to lead lives of usefulness.
Be indifferent to nothing which has any relation to the
welfare of men. Be not afraid of diminishing your
own happiness, by seeking that of others. Devise
liberal things, and let not avarice shut up your hand
from giving to him that needeth, and to promote the
cause of piety and humanity.

XL Be faithful and conscientious in the discharge

TO THE YOUNG. 357

of all duties which arise out of the relations which you
sustain to others. Relative duties are far more nume-
rous than all others ; because the occasions requiring
their performance are constantly occurring. The du-
ties of parents, of children, of brothers and sisters, of
neighbours, of masters and servants, of teachers and
pupils, of magistrates and citizens, of the learned pro-
fessions, of trade, of the rich and the poor, occupy a
very large portion of the time and attention of every
man. And these furnish the proper test of character.
< He who is faithful in little, is faithful also in much.'
And he who is not attentive to the daily recurring du-
ties of his station, in vain claims the reputation of
virtue or piety, by splendid acts of public beneficence.
* Though I give all my goods to feed the poor, and have
not charity, it profiteth me nothing.'

XII. Exercise incessant vigilance against the dan-
gers and temptations by which you are surrounded,
and by which you will certainly be assailed. These
dangers are too numerous to be specified in detail ; but
I will mention a few. Guard solicitously against all
approaches towards infidelity. Reject unbelieving
thoughts and skeptical doubts from the beginning.
Even if the system of infidelity were true, it promises
no comfort, and cannot possibly be serviceable to you.
But the best security will be to study diligently the
evidences of religion, and be ready to meet the cavils
of infidelity at all points. Make yourselves well ac-
quainted with the best authors on this subject, and let
your faith rest on the firm ground of evidence.

Another danger against which you must be watch-
ful, is pleasure — sensual pleasure. Worldly amuse-
ments, however innocent they may appear, are replete
with hidden dangers. These scenes exhilarate the
spirits, and excite the imagination, until reason and
conscience are hushed, and the real end of living is
forgotten. For the sake of pleasure, every thing im-
portant and sacred is neglected, and the most valuable
part of human life wasted in unprofitable engagements.
Beware then of the vortex of dissipation, and espe-
cially of the least approach towards the gulf of intern-

358 COUNSELS OF THE AGED

perance. On that slippery ground, many strong men
have fallen, never to rise. The trophies of this insidi
ous and destructive vice are widely spread on every
side, and the wise and the good have come to the con-
clusion, that there is no effectual security against this
enemy, but in a resolute and persevering abstinence
from inebriating drink. Seek your happiness, dear
youth, in the pursuit of useful objects, and in the per-
formance of duty, and then you will be safe, and will
have no reason to envy the votaries of sensual pleasure.

XIII. A counsel, near akin to that which has been
just given, is, " govern your tongue." More sin, it
is probable, is committed, and more mischief done, by
this small member, than in all other ways. The faculty
of speech is one of our most useful endowments, but it
is exceedingly liable to abuse. He who knows how
to bridle his tongue, is, therefore, in Scripture, denom-
inated "a perfect man ;" and again, of him " who seem-
eth to be religious and bridleth not his tongue/' it is
declared that "that man's religion is vain." The
words which we utter are a fair index of the moral
state of the mind. " By thy words," saith our Lord,
"shalt thou be justified, and by thy words shalt thou
be condemned." Not only are sins of the tongue more
numerous than others, but some of them are the most
heinous of which man can be guilty — even that one
sin which has no forgiveness, is a sin of the tongue.

Not only should all profaneness, obscenity, and false-
hood, be put far away, but you should continually en-
deavour to render your conversation useful. — Be ever
ready to communicate knowledge, to suggest profitable
ideas, to recommend virtue and religion, to rebuke sin,
and to give glory to God. Beware of evil-speaking.
A habit of detraction is one of the worst which you
can contract, and is always indicative of an envious
and malignant heart. Instead of prostituting this active
and useful member to the purposes of slander, employ
it in defending the innocent and the injured.

Permit me to suggest the following brief rules for
the government of the tongue. Avoid loquacity. " In
the multitude of words there wanteth not sin." If you

TO THE YOUNG. 359

have nothing to communicate which can be useful, be
silent. Think before you speak. How many painful
anxieties would be prevented by obeying this simple,
common-sense precept. Especially, be cautious about
uttering any thing in the form of a promise, without
consideration. Be conscientiously regardful of truth,
even to a tittle, in all that you say. Never speak what
will be likely to excite bad feelings, of any kind, in the
minds of others. Be ready, on all suitable occasions,
to give utterance to good sentiments, especially such as
may be useful to the young. Listen respectfully to
the opinions of others, but never fail to give your tes-
timony modestly, but firmly, against error. " Let your
speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt. Let
no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth,
but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it
may minister grace unto the hearers."

XIV. Keep a good conscience. If wickedness had
no other punishment than the stings of conscience which
follow evil actions, it would be reason enough to induce
every considerate man to avoid that which is produc-
tive of so much pain. No misery of which the human
mind is susceptible is so intolerable and so irremediable
as remorse of conscience. And it is liable to be renew-
ed as often as the guilty action is distinctly recollected.
It is true, the conscience, by means of error and repeat-
ed resistance to its dictates, may become callous—
"seared as with a hot iron;" but this apparent death
of moral sensibility, is no more than a sleep. At an
unexpected time, and in circumstances the most incon-
venient, conscience may be aroused, and may exert a
more tremendous power than was ever before expe-
rienced. The long arrearages of sins committed, while
no notice seemed to be taken of them, now demand
and enforce consideration. Joseph's brethren seem to
have almost forgotten their unnatural and cruel con-
duct in selling him as a slave into a foreign country ;
but when many years had elapsed, and they found
themselves environed with difficulties and dangers in
that very land, the remembrance of their crime pain-
fully rushed upon their minds, and extorted from them

360 COUNSELS OF THE AGED

mutual confessions of their guilt. " God/' said they,
" hath found out the iniquity of thy servants." " And
they said one to another, we are verily guilty concern-
ing our brother, in that we saw the anguish of his soul,
when he besought us, and we would not hear; there-
fore is this distress come upon us." Men often endea-
vour to escape from the stings of a guilty conscience
by a change of place ; but the remedy is ineffectual.
The transgressor may traverse the widest ocean, and
transcend the loftiest mountains, and may bury himself
in the dark recesses of the desert, but he cannot fly so
far, nor conceal himself so effectually, as to escape
from his tormentor. In some cases, the agonies of re-
morse have been so intolerable, that the guilty perpe-
trator of great wickedness has preferred < strangling
and death' to a miserable life, and has rushed uncalled
into the presence of his Judge. And in other cases,
men guilty of bloody crimes have found the pangs of
remorse so intolerable that they have voluntarily given
themselves up to justice ; and by a voluntary confes-
sion, have convicted themselves, when no human wit-
nesses were competent to prove their guilt. But what
man is there who has not committed sins, the recollec-
tion of which gives him sensible pain ? And such acts
often stand out in strong relief in the retrospect of the
past. No effort can obliterate such things from the
memory. We may turn away our eyes from the disa-
greeable object; but the painful idea will return again;
and thus men whose consciences are not seared, are
haunted by guilt as by a troublesome ghost; and often
their sins find them out, and stare them in the face,
when danger threatens, or when calamity has over-
taken them. Why moral sensibility should be so much
more exquisite at some times than others, cannot be
easily explained ; but the fact is certain, and is proba-
bly familiar to the consciousness of all. There may
indeed exist a morbid susceptibility, an unreasonable
scrupulousness and terror of conscience, which is a real
and distressing disease, and which yields only to phy
sical remedies judiciously applied. Melancholy is not
the effect of religious impressions ; but is a state of

TO THE YOUNG. 361

mind of a most unhappy kind, produced by a derange-
ment of the physical system, and which leads the sub-
ject of it to fix his thoughts on those things which are
most awful and gloomy. The same is true in regard
to insanity. Many people entertain strong prejudices
against experimental religion, because they apprehend
that it endangers the reason, and drives the timid and
weak-minded into mania.

Now it is no doubt true, that any strong emotion or
passion may, when there exists a predisposition to the
disease, disturb the regular exercise of reason ; but
that this danger is greater to persons deeply exercised
about religion than to others, is utterly without founda-
tion. Fanaticism, it may be conceded, has a tendency
to insanity. Indeed, it has long appeared to me, that
fanaticism, especially in its mildest forms, is nothing
else than a species of insanity. I have upon no other
hypothesis been able to account for the opinions and
conduct of some persons who have been led away into
the excesses of enthusiasm. But what is the most
effectual preservative from this kind of mental derange-
ment? Is it irreligion, vice, and infidelity? By no
means. Persons who take refuge in such things, find
them to be " refuges of lies." The only effectual rem-
edy against the misery of a disturbed mind and a guilty
conscience, is true religion. For this wound the balm
of Gilead is the only medicine which is proved by ex-
perience to be efficacious. He who is able to cherish
a lively hope of happiness beyond the grave, who can
look up to God as a reconciled Father, and who feels
good will to all men, has surely within him the ingre-
dients of a settled peace of mind. When I counsel
you, my young friends, to keep a good conscience, I
mean, that you should, in the first place, endeavour to
obtain this inestimable blessing by an application to
"the blood of sprinkling." Until the soul is justified
and sin pardoned, there can be no true peace of con-
science. While the law remains unsatisfied for us,
and denounces vengeance against us for our sins, what
in the universe can give us peace ? But when by faith
the soul apprehends the atonement, and sees that it is

362 COUNSELS OF THE AGED

commensurate to all the demands of the law, and that
in the cross, justice is not only satisfied, but gloriously-
illustrated, it is at once relieved from the agony of
guilt, and the peace of God which passeth understand-
ing pervades the soul. The great secret of genuine
peace is, therefore, living faith in the blood of Christ.
But if you would preserve your conscience pure and
enjoy peace, you must not only obtain forgiveness for
the past, but must be very careful to sin no more in
future. The law of God is exceeding broad, and if
we would preserve peace of conscience, we must con-
form our actions to its precepts with assiduous and
holy diligence.

A good conscience is always an enlightened con-
science. Through error, a man may believe that he is
doing God service, when he is persecuting his people ;
but such a conscience is not good. Men may act con-
scientiously, and yet act very wickedly. I suppose
that all the devotees of the most absurd and impious
superstition, act according to the dictates of conscience,
even when they sacrifice human beings, and expose to
death their own offspring, or themselves; but who
would say that such a conscience was good? The
correct knowledge of truth, therefore, lies at the foun-
dation of a good conscience. Nothing is more impor-
tant to man than the truth ; therefore " buy the truth
and sell it not." But too often conscience is not re-
garded when it correctly dictates what should be done
or avoided. Amidst the cravings of appetite, the storm
of the passions, and the incessant bustle of the world,
the whispers of conscience are not heeded. In multi-
tudes of instances, where persons do wrong, they have
a premonition of the evil ; or, at least, a suggestion,
that it is proper to inquire and consider what duty is.
Some persons are conscientious in great matters, who,
in comparatively small concerns, seem to have no
moral discernment. The habit of consulting the moral
sense in all things is of great importance. Before you
act, consider ; and beware of the false colouring which
passion and self-interest throw around the subjects of
duty. Lean to the safe side. Where an action is of

TO THE YOUNG. 363

dubious character, do not venture upon it. Be fully-
persuaded in your own mind, " for whatsoever is not
of faith is sin." Some persons are conscientious and
punctilious about little things, but careless about the
weightier matters of the law. This is the conscience
of a hypocrite. Others have a mind ill at ease, because
the festering wound of guilt has never been thoroughly
probed and cleansed, but merely externally healed.
Their repentance has not been deep enough, nor uni-
versal enough: some secret sin is still too much in-
dulged. Now, while these are the facts, a good con-
science is an impossible thing. Sincere penitence,
humiliation and confession, are God's prescribed reme-
dy, and where these are wanting the conscience will
not be at peace.

Now whatever may be the infirmity or moral defect
which cleaves to us, it is odious in the sight of God,
and tends to grieve the Holy Spirit. In just judgment,
we are left to darkness, barrenness, and misery, because
we have not sufficiently desired deliverance from sin ;
but have made vain excuses for our own faults. I
would then counsel you, especially, to cherish the mo-
tions of the Holy Comforter. By his divine influences
alone, a good conscience can be maintained. And if
you are sensible that you have grieved the Spirit, so
that you are left comfortless, never rest until you again
experience the peace and joy, which is the fruit of his
indwelling.

XV. Cultivate peace. Next to the blessing of
peace with God and in our own conscience, is that of
peace with our fellow men. "As much as lieth in
you, live peaceably with all men." And again, " Fol-
low peace with all men." The true source of all the
wars, contentions, and disturbances which are in the
world, is the pride, the envy, the covetousness, and
other evil passions of our nature. Eradicate these,
and in their place introduce pure and kind affections,
and you will experience a double peace — peace within,
and peace without. Every Christian temper is friendly
to peace. I know, indeed, that Christ says, that he
came not to bring peace but a sword : but he refers

364 COUNSELS OF THE AGED

not to the nature of his religion, but to the event which
he foresaw would occur, from the perverse opposition
of men, to that which is good. The genuine spirit and
tendency of the gospel is beautifully and emphatically
expressed in the angelic anthem, sung by the celestial
choir at the nativity of our Saviour—" Glory to God in
the highest, and on earth peace; good will to men."
All the adopted sons of God are sons of peace ; and
are peace-makers. "Live in peace," says Paul, "and
the God of peace shall be. with you." Humility, meek-
ness, and benevolence, must, from the nature of the
case, have a mighty influence in producing and main-
taining peace. For, as the apostle Peter argues, " who
will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is
good." No system was ever so well adapted to pro-
duce universal peace as Christianity; and the only
reason why this effect has not followed its reception
everywhere, is, that its true spirit has not been im-
bibed. Just so far as this blessed system is cordially
embraced, it cuts up by the roots all causes of conten-
tion ; except that which has for its subjects sin and error.
It teaches us not only to love our friends and brethren,
but also our bitterest enemies ; to return blessing for
cursing, and kindness for ill treatment. Endeavour
then, to cherish habitually those kind affections which
lead to peace ; and while you seek peace in your own
souls, make it an object to promote peace in the world,
and covet the blessedness which is pronounced to be-
long to peace-makers. Their high honour it is to be
denominated "the sons of God."

XVI. As "man is born to sorrow as the sparks fly
upwards ;" as no situation is exempt from the arrows
of adversity, I would give it as a necessary counsel, to
learn to bear affliction with fortitude and resignation.
To dream of escaping what is appointed unto all,
would be to fall wilfully into a dangerous delusion.
Every man is vulnerable in so many points, that
nothing short of a perpetual miracle could shield any
one from the strokes of adversity. Indeed, piety of
the most exalted kind does not secure its possessor
from affliction and persecution. Christ himself suffered

TO THE YOUNG. 365

while in the world, and has left his followers a perfect
example of holy fortitude, and filial submission to the
will of God. When sorely pressed with the incon-
ceivable load of our sins, so that his human soul could
not have sustained it unless supported by the divine
nature, his language was, " Not my will but thine be
done." Those afflictions which are allotted to the
people of God, are necessary parts of salutary discipline,
intended to purify them from the dross of sin, and to
prepare them for the service of God here, and his en-
joyment in the world to come. They are, therefore, to
them, not penal judgments, but fatherly chastisements,
which, though "not joyous but grievous" for the pre-
sent, "afterwards work for them the peaceable fruits
of righteousness." But whatever may be our moral
and spiritual condition, whether we are friends or
enemies to God, we must be subject to various afflic-
tions. This is a dying world. The nearest and dearest
friends must part. Death sunders the tenderest ties,
and often pierces the susceptible heart with a keener
anguish, by directing the mortal stroke to a dear com-
panion, or child, than if it had fallen on our own head.
When I see youth rejoicing in the sanguine hopes and
brilliant prospects which the deceitful world spreads out
before them, I am prevented from sympathizing with
their happy feelings, by the foresight of a speedy end
to all their earthly pleasures. Their laughter will be
converted into mourning. Their day of bright sun-
shine will soon be overcast with dark clouds ; and all
their brilliant prospects will be obscured, and the over-
whelming gloom of sorrow will envelope them.

It is indeed, no part of wisdom to torment our minds
with vain terrors of evils which are merely possible.
Many persons suffer more in the apprehension of ca-
lamities, than they would if they were present. The
imagination represents scenes of adversity in a hue
darker than the reality. In regard to such evils, our
Saviour has taught us not to yield to useless anxieties
about the future, but to trust to Providence. " Let the
morrow take care of itself." But that to which I
would bring my youthful readers is a state of mind

31 *

366 COUNSELS OF THE AGED

prepared for adversity, of whatever kind it may be;
that they may not be taken by surprise when calamity
falls upon them. And when the dark day of adversity
arrives, be not dismayed, but put your trust in the
JLord, and look to Him for strength to endure what-
ever may be laid upon you. Never permit yourselves
to entertain hard thoughts of God, on account of any
of his dispensations. They may be. dark and myste-
rious, but they are all wise and good. What we can-
not understand now, we shall be privileged to know
hereafter. Exercise an uncomplaining submission to
the will of God, as developed in the events of Provi-
dence. Believe steadfastly that all things are under
the government of wisdom and goodness. Remember
that whatever sufferings you may be called to endure,
they are always less than your sins deserve : and con-
sider, that these afflictive dispensations are fraught with
rich, spiritual blessings. They are not only useful, but
necessary. We should perish with a wicked world, if
a kind Father did not make use of the rod to reclaim
us from our wanderings. Besides, there is no situation
in which we can more glorify God, than when in the
furnace of affliction. The exercise of faith, and hum-
ble resignation, with patience and fortitude, under the
pressure of heavy calamity, is most pleasing to God,
and illustrates clearly the excellency of religion which
is able to bear up the mind, and even render it cheer-
ful, in the midst of scenes of trouble. Bear then, with
cheerful submission, the load which may be laid upon
you ; and learn from Paul to rejoice even in the midst
of tribulation. And not only bear your cross with
cheerful resignation, but endeavor to extract from sor-
row a rich spiritual blessing. While enjoying such an
effectual means of grace, improve it to the utmost, to
promote growth in the divine life. Be willing to suffer
any pain which will render you more holy. Although
we naturally desire uninterrupted prosperity, yet if
the desire of our hearts was always given to us, it
would prove ruinous.

And when schooled in adversity, you will be better
qualified to sympathize with the children of sorrow,

TO THE YOUNG. 367

and better skilled in affording them comfort, than if
you had no experience of trouble.

XVII. My next counsel is, that you set a high
value upon your time. Time is short ; and its flight is
rapid. The swiftness of the lapse of time is proverbial
in all languages. In Scripture, the life of man is com-
pared to a multitude of things which quickly pass
away, after making their appearance ; as to a post, a
weaver's shuttle, a vapour, a shadow, &c. All the
works of man must be performed in time ; and what-
ever acquisition is made of any good, it must be obtained
in time. Time, therefore, is not only short, but precious.
Every thing is suspended on its improvement, and it
can only be improved when present ; and it is no
sooner present, than it is gone : so that whatever we
do must be done quickly. The precious gift is spar-
ingly parcelled out, by moments, but the succession of
these is rapid and uninterrupted. Nothing can impede
or retard the current of this stream. Whether we are
awake or asleep, whether occupied or idle, whether we
attend to the fact or not, we are borne along by a si-
lent, but irresistible force. Our progressive motion in
time, may be compared to the motion of the planet on
which we dwell, of which we are entirely insensible ;
or, to that of a swift-sailing ship, which produces the
illusion that all other objects are in motion, while we
seem to be stationary. So in the journey of life, we
pass from stage to stage, from infancy to childhood,
from childhood to youth, from youth to mature age,
and finally, ere we are aware of it, we find ourselves
declining towards the last stage of earthly existence.
The freshness and buoyancy of youth soon pass away:
the autumn of life, with its "sere leaf," soon arrives;
and next, and last, if disease or accident do not cut
short our days, old age with its gray hairs, its wrinkles,
its debility and pains, comes on apace. This period is
described by the wise man, as one in which men are
commonly disposed to be querulous, and to acknow-
ledge that the days draw nigh in which they have no
pleasure. "The keepers of the house tremble, and the
strong men bow themselves, and the grinders ccaso

368 COUNSELS OF THE AGED

because they are few, and those that look out of the
windows are darkened. When men rise up at the
noise of the bird — when all the daughters of music are
brought low, and there shall be fears. And the almond
tree shall flourish, and the grasshopper be a burden. "

Time wasted can never be recovered. No man
ever possessed the same moment twice. We are, in-
deed, exhorted "to redeem our time," but this relates
to a right improvement of that which is to come ; for
this is the only possible way by which we can redeem
what is irrevocably past. The counsels which I would
offer to the young on this subject are : Think fre-
quently and seriously on the inestimable value of
time. Never forget that all that is dear and worthy of
pursuit must be accomplished in the short span of time
allotted to us here. Meditate also profoundly, and
often, on the celerity of the flight of time. Now you
are in the midst of youthful bloom, but soon this season
will only exist in the dim shades of recollection, and
unless it has been well improved, of bitter regret.

If you will make a wise improvement of your time,
you must be prompt. Seize the fugitive moments as
they fly ; for, otherwise,^ they will pass away before
you have commenced the work which is appropriated
to them.

Diligence and constancy are essential to the right
improvement of time. " Whatsoever thy hand findeth
to do, do it with thy might." " Work while it is called
to-day." Walk while you have the light ; for the
dark night rapidly approaches, when no work can be
done.

Let every thing be done in its season. There is a time
for all things ; and let all things be done in order. The
true order of things may be determined by their rela-
tive importance, and by the urgency of the case, or the
loss which would probably be sustained by neglect.

If you would make the most of your time, learn to
do one thing at once, and endeavour so to perform every
work, as to accomplish it in the best possible manner.
As you receive but one moment at once, it is a vain
thing to think of doing more than one thing at one

TO THE YOUNG. 369

time ; and if any work deserves your attention at all, it
deserves to be well done. Confusion, hurry, and heed-
lessness, often so mar a business, that it would have
been better to omit it altogether.

Beware of devolving the duty of to-day on to-
morrow. This is called procrastination, which is said,
justly, to be "the thief of time." Remember, that
every day, and every hour, has its own appropriate
work; but if that which should be done this day, is
deferred until a future time, to say the least, there must
be an inconvenient accumulation of duties in future.
But as to-morrow is to every body uncertain, to sus-
pend the acquisition of an important object on such
a contingency, may be the occasion of losing forever
the opportunity of receiving it. The rule of sound dis-
cretion is, never to put off till to-morrow, what ought
to be done to-day.

XVIII. Cherish and diligently cultivate genuine
piety. " The fear of the Lord is the beginning of
wisdom."

Early piety is the most beautiful spectacle in the
world. Without piety all your morality, however
useful to men, is but a shadow. It is a branch without
a root. Religion, above every other acquisition, en-
riches and adorns the mind of man ; and it is especially
congenial with the natural susceptibilities of the youth-
ful mind. The vivacity and versatility of youth, the
tenderness and ardour of the affections in this age, ex-
hibit piety to the best advantage. How delightful is
it, to see the bosoms of the young swelling with the
lively emotions of pure devotion ! How beautiful is the
tear of penitence or of holy joy, which glistens in the
eye of tender youth ! Think not, dear young people,
that true religion will detract from your happiness. It
is a reproach cast upon your Maker, to indulge such a
thought. It cannot be. A God of goodness never re-
quired any thing of his creatures, which did not tend
to their true felicity. Piety may indeed lead you to ex-
change the pleasures of the theatre and ball-room, for the
purer joysof the churchand prayer-meeting. It may turn
your attention from books of mere idle fancy and fiction,

370 COUNSELS OF THE AGED

to the word of God, which to a regenerated soul, is
found to be sweeter than honey, and more excellent
than the choicest gold; but this will add to your hap-
piness, rather than diminish it. We would then affec-
tionately and earnestly exhort and entreat you, to " re-
member now your Creator in the days of your youth."
This will be your best security against all the dangers
and temptations to which you are exposed ; this will
secure to you " the favour of God which is life, and his
loving kindness which is better than life." Delay not
your conversion ; every day is lost time, which is not
spent in the service of God. Besides, procrastination
has proved ruinous to many. Eternity is at hand ; the
judgment day must be met, and how can we appear
there, without piety ? This is our only preparation and
passport for heaven. Dear youth, be wise, and secure
an inheritance among the saints in light. God invites
you to be reconciled. Christ extends his arms of mercy
to secure you. Angels are waiting to rejoice at your
conversion, and to become your daily and nightly guar-
dians. The doors of the church will be opened to re-
ceive you. The ministers of the gospel, and all the
company of believers, will hail your entrance and will
welcome you to the precious ordinances of God's house.
And, finally, remember, that "now is the accepted time
and the day of salvation."

XIX. Seek divine direction and aid, by incessant,
fervent prayer. You need grace to help you every day.
Your own wisdom is folly, your own strength weak-
ness, and your own righteousness altogether insufficient.
" It is not in man that walketh to direct his steps."
But if you lack wisdom, you are permitted to ask; and
you have a gracious promise, that you shall receive.
Whatever we need will be granted, if we humbly and
believingly ask for it. " Ask and ye shall receive, seek
and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto
you." " Be careful for nothing, but in every thing with
prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your
requests be made known unto God."

Faith and prayer are our chief resource under all the
various and heavy afflictions of this life. When all

TO THE YOUNG. 371

other refuges fail, God will hide his people who seek
Him in his secret pavilion, and shelter them under the
shadow of his wings. Prayer is essential to the exist-
ence and growth of the spiritual life. It is the breath
of the new man. By this means he obtains quick re-
lief from innumerable evils; and draws down from
heaven blessings of the richest and sweetest kind.
Possess your minds fully of the persuasion, that prayer
is efficacious, when offered in faith and with impor-
tunity, to obtain the blessings which we need. God
has made himself known as a hearer of prayer : yea,
he has promised that we shall have, as far as may be
for his glory and our good, whatever we ask. The
most important events may be brought about by prayer.
One rightepus man, by fervent and effectual prayer, has
been able to shut heaven and open it again. How
often did Moses by his prayers avert the divine wrath
from the people of Israel ! That man who has access
to a throne of grace will never want any thing which
is really needful. " God will give grace and glory, and
no good thing will he withhold from them that walk up-
rightly." " But He will be inquired of by the house
of Israel for this thing that he may do it for them."
Banish, as most unreasonable, the idea that prayer is a
dull or melancholy business. Such a sentiment must
have been invented by Satan ; for it never could have
been suggested by reason, or taught by experience.
Intercourse with the greatest and best of all Beings
must be a source of exalted pleasure ; and surely, man
can have no greater honour and privilege conferred
upon him, than to be admitted to converse intimately
and confidentially with the God whom angels adore.
The experience of every saint attests, that " it is good
to draw near to God ;" and that "one day in his couits
is better than a thousand." I need not be afraid, there-
fore, to counsel the young to cultivate the spirit of
prayer, and to be constant in its exercise. "Pray with-
out ceasing." "Be instant in prayer." It will not
spoil your pleasures, but will open for you new sources
of enjoyment, far more refined and satisfactory, than
any which prayerless persons can possess. Prayer is

372 COUNSELS OF THE AGED.

the only method by which intercourse between heaven
and earth can be kept open. Often, too, in the perfor-
mance of this duty, a taste of heaven is brought down
to earth ; and the pious worshipper anticipates, in some
degree, those joys which are ineffable and eternal. —
Prayer will, moreover, be your most effectual guard
against sin and the power of temptation :

" For Satan trembles, when he sees
The weakest saint upon his knees."

XX. I conclude my counsels to the young, by a
serious and affectionate recommendation to every one
who reads these pages, to make immediate preparation
for death. I know that gay youth are unwilling to
hear this subject mentioned. There is nothing which
casts a greater damp upon their spirits, than the solemn
fact that death must be encountered ; and that no earthly
possessions or circumstances can secure us from be-
coming his victims, on any day. But if it is acknow-
ledged that this formidable evil is inevitable, and that
the tenure by which we hold our grasp of life is very
fragile, why should we act so unreasonably, and I may
say, madly, as to shut our eyes against the danger ?
If, indeed, there was no way of preparing to meet this
event, there might be some reason for turning away
our thoughts from immediate destruction : but if by at-
tention and exertion, it is possible to make preparation
for death, then nothing can be conceived more insane,
than to refuse to consider our latter end.-— How often
are we called to witness the decease of blooming youth,
in the midst of all their pleasures and prospects ! Such
scenes have been exhibited within the observation of
all of you. Dear friends and companions have been
snatched away from the side of some of you. The grave
has closed upon many whose prospects of long life were
as favourable as those of their survivors. Now, my
dear young friends, what has so frequently happened
in relation to so many others, may take place with re-
gard to some of you. This year you may be called
to bid farewell to all your earthly prospects, and all
your beloved relatives. The bare possibility of such

TO THE YOUNG. 373

an event ought to have the effect of engaging your
most serious attention, and of leading you to immediate
preparation. Do you ask what preparation is necessary ?
I answer, reconciliation with God, and a meetness for the
employments and enjoyments of the heavenly state.
Preparation for death includes repentance towards God
for all our sins, trust in the Lord Jesus Christ and reliance
on his atoning sacrifice, regeneration of heart, and refor-
mation of life ; and, finally, a lively exercise of piety, ac-
companied with, a comfortable assurance of the divine
favour. In short, genuine and lively piety forms the
essence of the needed preparation. With this your
death will be safe, and your happiness after death
secure ; but to render a death-bed not only safe but
comfortable, you must have a strong faith, and clear
evidence that your sins are forgiven, and that you have
passed from death unto life. Be persuaded, then, be-
fore you give sleep to your eyes, to commence your
return unto God, from whom like lost sheep you have
strayed. "Prepare to meet your God." "Be ye also
ready, for in such an hour as ye think not, the Son of
man cometh."

Seek deliverance from the fear of death by a believ-
ing application to Him who came on purpose to deliver
us from this bondage. With his presence and guidance
we need fear no evil, even while passing through the
gloomy valley and shadow of death. He is able by
his rod and his staff to comfort us, and to make us con-
querors over this last enemy.

32

COUNSELS TO CHRISTIAN MOTHERS.

When I address myself to Christian Mothers, I do not
mean to intimate that those who cannot with propriety
be thus addressed, stand in no need of admonition.
Alas! that in a Christian country there should be
mothers who have nothing of the spirit of Christ.
Young persons often promise themselves that they will
attend to religion after they are married and settled in
the world. How preposterous is this ! It ought rather
to be their resolution not to think of entering into a
state involving such weighty responsibilities, and the
exercise of so many virtues, until they have become
the possessors of true religion. Without piety how is
it possible for any woman rightly to fulfil the duties of
a wife, and especially of a mother? Some correct
views on this subject probably led the legislators of one
of the provinces of Holland, as I have read some where,
to enact a law, that whenever any persons applied to
be united in marriage, they should produce evidence
that they were in the full communion of the church.
But this was a dangerous misapplication of a sound
principle. Just as in the case of civil rulers, it is ex-
ceedingly important that they who are appointed to
rule over men should be truly pious ; but it is a sad
mistake in legislation, to make the profession of reli-
gion a qualification for office. But while I would
not have a law requiring piety as a qualification
for entering into the band of matrimony, I would
still insist upon it, that no woman, destitute of
religion, is fit to become a wife and mother. Only
think of it — an irreligious mother ! If it were not
so common, the very expression would excite emo-
tions similar to those which we experience, when we

374

COUNSELS TO CHRISTIAN MOTHERS. 375

hear of an irreligious minister of the gospel. I address
Christian mothers, because from them only can I ex-
pect a patient hearing. I address Christian mothers,
because all mothers ought to be sincere Christians. Is
there a person on earth, whose mind is so perverted by-
prejudice, as not to perceive a congruity between piety
and this tender relation ? It was formerly a current
opinion, even among infidels, in Virginia, that religion
was an ornament and safeguard to a woman. I knew
one distinguished rpan who had renounced all belief
in the Christian religion himself, who encouraged it in
his wife, and furnished her with all the necessary means
of attending church ; and when one of his friends com-
plained to him, that his wife was becoming religious,
which gave him great concern, he told him that he was
a fool, for that nothing was more suitable and desirable,
than that a wife should be pious. Even infidels are
constrained, like the demons of old, to give their testi-
mony in favour of Christ. Many irreligious men de-
sire to obtain wives of genuine piety ; and few intelli-
gent men in our country would be pleased with a female
infidel. Such a character was so rare in Virginia forty
years ago, when infidelity abounded among the higher
classes of men, that when a certain lady was pointed
out as the advocate of deistical opinions, it created a
revulsion of feeling in almost every mind. Here I take
pleasure in saying, that in no class of society any
where, have I found examples of more pure and ele-
vated piety than among the ladies of Virginia. And
I have reason to believe that these examples have
rather been increased than diminished since I left my
native State. It may, in an important sense, be said
that the Commonwealth has been preserved from utter
destruction by the prudence, purity and piety of Vir-
ginia mothers. They have been the salt which has
arrested the progress of moral corruption in the mass
of society. Accordingly, there is no country in the
world, perhaps, where mothers are so much respected
by their children, and have so great an influence over
them. Ask almost any young Virginian, where he will

376 COUNSELS TO CHRISTIAN MOTHERS.

look for the brightest examples of moral excellence,
and his thoughts will turn at once to the character of
pious females, and perhaps to his own mother, if she
happens to be pious. I recollect a young gentleman,
who, although he had an uncommonly pious mother,
broke over all the restraints of his education, and became
a professed infidel, and the advocate of licentiousness
in its vilest forms ; but a gracious God heard the un-
ceasing prayers of his mother, and by means somewhat
unusual, he was converted from the error of his ways.
In speaking of his former career— which he evidently
did with shame and humility — he said, " I could get
over all arguments in defence of religion but one, and
that I never could obviate, which was the pious ex-
ample and conversation of my mother. When I had
fortified myself against the truth, by the aid of Boling-
broke, Hume, aad Voltaire ; yet, whenever I thought
of my mother, I had the secret conviction which no-
thing could remove, that there was a reality in religion. "
I could soon fill my paper with salutary precepts for
mothers ; but this is not exactly what is wanted.
Knowledge as to maternal duty, is widely diffused.
The theory of education, as it falls under the direction
of mothers, is perhaps sufficiently understood by most.
What I aim at, is "to stir up their pure minds by way
of remembrance," or in other words, to arouse them
to the consideration of the importance of the station
which they occupy, and to persuade them to exert that
influence which they possess. I have often heard
pious females complain that they had little or nothing
in their power, and they felt as if they were almost
useless members of society. This is an egregious mis-
calculation. Their influence is silent and spreads im-
perceptibly, but it is real and effective. Piety is like
light, which cannot be hid. The more it seeks con-
cealment, and retires from public notice, the more
brightly it shines. Female influence only ceases, or
operates unfavourably, when women depart from their
own proper sphere ; or when they endeavour to obtrude
themselves upon the notice and admiration of the pub-

COUNSELS TO CHRISTIAN MOTHERS. 377

lie. As we are shocked with infidelity in a female, so
female ambition is odious. Let the devoted mother
exert herself in her own proper sphere, which is in the
retirement of the domestic circle, and in constant and
devout attendance on the worship of God. Let her
look well to the affairs of her household. Let her
manifest her benignity and forbearance in the steady
government of her children and servants. Let her set
an example of order, neatness, industry, and hospitality,
and she will have enough to do. Every hour, and
almost every minute, will furnish opportunity for the
exercise of some virtue; and that Eye which goes every
where, will graciously notice and bring to light too,
those acts which are cheerfully and conscientiously
performed. A mother cannot be placed in a more in-
teresting field of labour, than in the midst of a large
circle of children. Here is her appropriate sphere of
action. Here she has work enough to occupy her
heart and hands.

But some will be ready to think this is a nar-
row field in which to labour. They wish to act
on a larger scale, and do something which will tell
on the destinies of men — something more intimately
connected with the conversion of the world. Some
few women, by the possession of peculiar talents, and
by being placed in peculiar circumstances, have been
able to accomplish so much that the world has been
filled with their fame. Such was the brilliant course
of Mrs. Hannah More, who by her benevolent exer-
tions, and by her writings, became the benefactress of
the human race. And such is now the luminous orbit
in which Mrs. Fry moves. But it falls to the lot of
very few of either sex to do good on what may be
called a national scale. And if all should aim at such
achievements, very little would be done. Much the
larger part of the female sex must be contented to cul-
tivate the small garden which providence has commit-
ted to them. But as the mothers in ancient Israel were
solicitous to bear sons, in hope that they might enjoy
the honour and unspeakable pleasure of giving birth to
the promised Messiah, so mothers now may cherish

32*

378 COUNSELS TO CHRISTIAN MOTHERS.

the pleasing hope that of the first fruit of their womb,
God will raise up men of renown, eminent ministers,
devoted missionaries, distinguished philanthropists, wise
statesmen, or even men of humble, exemplary piety in
retired life. Hannah waited with God for her Samuel ;
and no doubt before the child was born, she consecrated
him to God, from whom she received him ; and when
she embraced him in her arms, and nursed him at her
breast, she continually darted up petitions for God's
blessing upon his own precious gift. And 0! how
richly was she rewarded. I have read or heard that
some one asked an uncommonly devout woman, how
it happened that all her children became pious at an
age so early. The good woman modestly disclaimed
all merit or agency in the affair ; but said she, " as
many children as I have nursed, I never took one of
them to my breast, to afford it the necessary nourish-
ment, but at the same time I lifted up my heart in
prayer to God for his blessing on the dear little infant."
Would not this be a good rule for mothers universally
to observe ? Who can tell what the effect would be
on the next generation ? The question is often asked,
"By whom shall Jacob arise ?" One answers one
thing, and one another ; but if I may be permitted to
give a partial answer, though I believe a true one, I
would say, by pious mothers. Yes, as a woman had
the unspeakable blessing of being the mother of our
Lord and Saviour ; so woman, collectively, shall be
the mother of the church. Ten thousand Loises and
Eunices will, at the same time, be training their little
Timothys on the knee, and with sweet and persuasive
speech, instilling into their opening minds, the words
of those "Holy Scriptures, which are able to make
them wise unto salvation, through faith which is in
Christ Jesus." A genuine and thorough reformation
must commence in the family, which is the foundation
of all social institutions, civil and religious. Here is
the root, whence springs the whole tree with all its
spreading and towering branches. And if true religion,
to be general, must begin in the domestic circle, to
whom will belong the chief agency and the most dis-

COUNSELS TO CHRISTIAN MOTHERS. 379

tinguished honour? Undoubtedly to pious mothers.
Theirs must be the hands which plant the precious
seed — theirs the prayers and tears which water the
growing plant — theirs the kind, seasonable, and well
adapted instructions, which distil into the tender, sus-
ceptible mind like the gentle rain on the tender grass,
or the more imperceptible dew upon the thirsty plant.
Those are not the most important lectures which are,
with solemn pomp, delivered in the schools ; but those
which flow sweetly from the affectionate lips of moth-
ers to their docile and interested group of little ones,
gathered around their knees. No eloquence equals
that of a sensible and pious mother, because no im-
pressions made by human speech are so deep and indel-
ible. These lessons, whether she knows it or not, she
is engraving on fleshly tablets, from which the inscrip-
tion can never wholly be obliterated. Impression after
impression may be made on the same, but these have
the advantage of being first and deepest ; and when
all the others are gone, these will be left. In visiting a
family, belonging to my charge in Philadelphia, I ob-
served a very brisk but old woman bringing chips into
the house in her apron. I asked the lady of the house
who it was. " It is my mother," said she, " but she
no longer knows me." Upon inquiry, I found that she
had forgotten every thing except what had occurred in
her early life. And though she had left Switzerland
when a girl of fourteen, and had not spoken the Ger-
man language since that time, yet she now repeats her
German prayers aloud every night.

It would be difficult to draw a definite line of distinc-
tion between a good mother and a good wife. The
character of the latter must have an important bearing
on that of the former. For a woman to perform her
part well when united with a worthy and affectionate
husband is comparatively easy; but when a pious
woman of refined and susceptible feelings is connected
with a man, whose true character and temper have
been destroyed by habits of intoxication — when she
is treated with brutal tyranny, and even cruelty, to pre-
serve equanimity, and to perform the duties of an obe-

380 COUNSELS TO CHRISTIAN MOTHERS.

client, respectful wife, requires the exercise of much
self-denial ; and such a situation is one peculiarly pain-
ful and trying to a pious mother ; but it is one to which
many excellent women, in our day, have been sub-
jected. But the greater the trial, the more grace is
wanted ; and the brighter the character, which is en-
abled with meekness and fortitude, to bear up under
such a burden. If such a calamity should come on a
woman of refined feelings at once, it would be over-
whelming ; but she is gradually prepared for the worst,
and learns to discipline her passions, so as to exhibit .
no temper unsuitable to her station, and the tender re-
lation of a wife. She avoids reproaches, and in her
mouth there are no reproofs. Some change in her ap-
pearance, and occasional spells of bitter weeping, when
alone, will not escape the jealous eye of a drunkard ;
and it is not improbable that such symptoms of deep
distress as these, will only serve to provoke his ire, and
cause him to rage more furiously, when under the in-
fluence of his inebriating cups. And what can she say
to her children as they become capable of observation?
She never mentions the subject to them, if it can be
avoided ; and when necessary, with no remarks which
would tend to lessen their respect for an unworthy pa-
rent. She conceals from his children the faults and ill-
treatment of the father as much as possible. And to
all other persons, however intimate their mutual friend-
ship, her lips are sealed. This is the difficulty of pa-
tiently bearing this heavy burden, that it must be borne
alone, in silence, without the usual relief derived from
venting our sorrows into the bosom of a faithful, sym-
pathizing friend. I know of no condition in human
life, free from guilt, which is more deplorable than that
of a lady of education, piety, and sensibility, tied to a
brutal husband, who is seldom in his right mind ; or
who, though for a season he may refrain, yet has his pa-
roxysms of the worst species of insanity, to which our
race is subject. This leads me to remark, that the very
best view which a wife can take of such a case, is to
consider it a real madness, and to feel and act just as
if it was the effect of some physical cause. However

COUNSELS TO CHRISTIAN MOTHERS. 381

difficult the practice of duty may be in such circum-
stances, I have observed not a few examples of such
consummate prudence, Christian fortitude, and meek
forbearance, as excited my admiration. As gold is
purified by the fire of the furnace, so it is probable that
some women, under the pressure of such afflictions,
rise to an eminence of piety, to which in other circum-
stances they never could have attained.

But I must not indulge myself in speaking in a
strain too laudatory of Christian mothers. Some have
great weaknesses, the effects of which upon the cha-
racter and destinies of their children are very unhappy.
I recollect to have once been acquainted with a Vir-
ginia planter, of the best old stamp. He was rich, hos-
pitable, kind hearted, and better than all, truly pious.
When he heard the gospel, his whole soul seemed to be
laid open to the impression of the truth; and so sus-
ceptible was he, that often while the man of God de-
scribed the love of a Saviour, the large, and not un-
manly tear, would trickle down his cheek. He was
a man without guile; and you always might know
where to find him. But I was grieved and surprised
to find that his sons were all profligates. By drinking
and gambling and other vices, they soon ruined their re-
putation, wasted their estates, injured their health, and
shortened their lives. In searching for the cause of
this wide departure from the example of a good and
affectionate father, I traced it to the injudicious indul-
gence of a fond mother. Not that she wished her
sons to become dissipated ; but when they did wrong,
she carefully concealed their conduct from their father,
connived at their vices, and afforded them facilities of
gratifying their corrupt propensities, by plentifully sup-
plying them with money. And with such care were
their vices concealed from the unsuspecting father, that
the first knowledge which he obtained was, when his
sons' ruin was completed, and their habits so fixed,
that all regard to decorum was laid aside, and even the
displeasure of a father could be braved.

Another class of mothers, happily not numerous, in-

382 COUNSELS TO CHRISTIAN MOTHERS.

jure tlreir children by a discipline too rigorous. They
expect by external restraints and confinements to pre-
serve them from temptation. The general principle is
good, but may be pushed too far. A gradual exposure
to such temptations as must be encountered in the
world, is safer than for a son to be suddenly subjected
to the whole influence of the world at once. If chil-
dren dislike the severity of the discipline under which
they are placed, they will be ingenious in finding op-
portunities of evading a yoke which they do not like
to bear. And when they get free from parental re-
straint, they will be apt to run to greater excess than
others.

While sober, consistent piety in mothers has a pow-
erful and lasting effect on children, fanaticism has a
contrary tendency. The children of parents who in-
dulge in extravagant expressions of religious feeling,
and whose religion comes on in violent paroxysms, are,
in most cases, devoid of reverence for sacred things,
and often show a disregard of moral principle. It is
exceedingly important in the education and discipline
of children, not to confound their notions of right and
wrong by treating little matters with the same serious-
ness and severity as great. Our instructions and con-
duct towards children, should be such as to present to
their minds, virtues and vices, according to a just gra-
duation. If we pursue a peccadillo with as much
severity as a great crime, the danger is, that a great
crime will be committed with as little sense of its evil
as a fault of the minor class. It is also dangerous to
proclaim a crusade against some one vice, and magnify
its evil beyond all comparison, while other vices equally
or more malignant, pass unnoticed. So one virtue or
duty may be held up so continually, and placed in such
bold relief, that other virtues, equally important and
valuable, are left concealed in the back ground. As
in the Christian character, symmetry or a due propor-
tion of every grace, is essential to perfection ; so in
teaching morality, a strict regard should be had to the
magnitude and proportion of every part of the system.

COUNSELS TO CHRISTIAN MOTHERS. 383

Let all vice be treated as vice ; but let not all vices be
treated as equal; so let every virtue occupy its proper
place, and fill its due space.

It is a good rule, even in the government of children,
not to legislate too much. Vex them not with trivial
and unnecessary rules. Train them to govern them-
selves as much as possible. That child who is obedient
only when the eye of the parent is on it, has not been
properly managed. Allow children liberty in such
things as are innocent, and to which they are inclined
by the instinct of nature. It is a poor, short-sighted
plan to keep children moping all day over their books;
they learn far more that is valuable while sporting in
the fields, than we can teach them by such a process in
the house. It is wonderful how much they learn with-
out effort, both of words and things.

We may even exceed the mark by inculcating re-
ligion upon their tender minds too incessantly. Mothers
should watch the favourable moment for instilling re-
ligious instruction. One sentence at the favourable
moment is better than a long lecture at an unseason-
able time. Holiness cannot be rendered pleasing to
the natural heart, but religious instruction may be made
interesting. Indirect methods of reaching the con-
science are often better than the more direct. Occa-
sional remarks not seeming to be intended for them,
are often noticed and remembered ; especially conver-
sation with respectable strangers in their presence, has
a wonderful effect. Let your children come early into
company, that they may hear — that is, if the conversa-
tion be edifying. By eliciting remarks on certain sub-
jects from ministers and other respectable persons in the
hearing of children, you will be likely to produce greater
effect, than if the same things were addressed directly
to them by their parents.

Family slander is an evil against which mothers
cannot too sedulously guard. There are some families
who are extremely cautious about speaking evil of
their neighbours out of their own houses ; but there
they feel privileged; and in the presence of their chil-
dren, allow themselves great liberties in traducing the

384 COUNSELS TO CHRISTIAN MOTHERS.

characters of those with whom they are living, osten-
sibly, in the habits of friendly intercourse. This is not
only an evil habit, and readily contracted by children,
but it is the most effectual method of teaching them to
play the hypocrite, by constantly assuming the appear-
ance of friendship, and using the language of kindness,
when a contrary feeling is habitually cherished. It is
impossible to entertain sentiments of true friendship
towards those whom we are in the practice of maligning
every day. 0 mothers, guard your children against
this common vice; so freely indulged, and so little
criminated by many.

Akin to this, but less malignant, is the practice of
ridiculing the foibles, and caricaturing the imperfec-
tions or personal defects of our friends. In some whole
families there exists a talent for mimicry : they can so
exactly imitate the tones, gestures, attitudes and man-
ners of others, that the exercise of this faculty becomes
a source of much amusement at the expense of their
neighbours ; especially when the quality or action imi-
tated is a little exaggerated or distorted. This propen-
sity should be carefully and resolutely repressed in
young persons. It is very apt to occasion a separation
or alienation of affection among friends : for who among
us is willing to be laughed at for the entertainment of
others ?

There is no one thing on which mothers should insist
more uniformly and peremptorily, than that their chil-
dren should tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing
but the truth. Lying above all other things may be
said to be the vice of children. " We go astray from
the womb, speaking lies." Children soon learn that
others cannot look into their hearts : they will often
therefore say what they know is not true, from the
confidence that they cannot be detected. Keep a vi-
gilant eye on this matter, and pass not slightly over an
offence of this kind. Many worthy parents, I have ob-
served, seem to know little, or care little about the
habit of fibbing, in their children. Manifest by every
proper means your utter detestation of lying, in all its
kinds and degrees.

COUNSELS TO CHRISTIAN MOTHERS. 385

I would also caution mothers against the fool-
ish ambition of trying to make prodigies of their
children ; and against the vanity of so exaggerating
their smart speeches and exploits as to make them
appear to be prodigies. I would not be so rigid as
to prohibit mothers from speaking of their own dear
offspring ; for out of the abundance of the heart
the mouth will speak ; but I may advise you not to
make your children the everlasting theme of your con-
versation, morning, noon, and nights Rest assured,
that other people do not take as much interest in the
subject as you do. And while I would commend
those mothers who are diligent in the instruction of
their children, I would respectfully say, be thankful
that they are not idiots, nor deformed, nor destitute of
the common senses of human nature ; but be not anxious
that they should be thought prodigies. Children may
be so trained as to perform wonders, but what good
can come of it ? Do we not see pigs trained in the same
way ? Exercise a salutary discipline towards your
children, even with the rod, when it is necessary ; but
let thjsrspecies of discipline be the last resort, and used
rather seldom. It is far better than a dark room, or star-
vation, or any thing which keeps the child a long time in
a bad humour. But carefully avoid chastisement in the
heat of passion, for this will do your children more harm
than good. Keep your children as long as you can
in your own house. Domestic feeling is a sacred tie,
which should be preserved fresh and strong, as long as
possible. Often, mothers lose all their influence over
sons by their being sent abroad to school. Have as
much of your children's education, therefore, conducted
at home, as is practicable. Be assured, that no place
is so favourable to the good feelings and morals of the
young, as the family circle, unless the family be des-
titute of religion and virtue ; and for such I do not now
write. Boarding schools, for girls, may be useful, —
but I would advise you to keep your daughters at home,
under your own eye,— and when they go to school in
the day, let them come home at night. You may pos-
sibly find a better school by sending them abroad, but

33

386 COUNSELS TO CHRISTIAN MOTHERS.

the sacrifice is too great ; and the risk of evil habits and
evil sentiments is not small. And as to your sons, if
they must go abroad, place them in the family of some
pious man, and under the maternal care of some pious
woman, where they may find a substitute for parental
attention. While absent, let them return home as fre-
quently as may be, that what I have called the ' do-
mestic' feeling may be preserved. If your sons must
be put to a trade, or become clerks in a store or count-
ing-house, be very particular as to the character and
conscientious fidelity of their master. It is lamentable
to see, how youth in these circumstances are neglected;
and how they are exposed to temptations, from which
it is hardly possible they should escape without guilt
and contamination.

I would earnestly recommend it to mothers to keep
up a correspondence, by letter, with their children when
removed from the domestic roof: a single word of ad-
monition and warning, from a mother, might be the
means of reclaiming a beloved son from the verge of
a precipice. But whatever else you neglect, omit not
to follow your children, when absent, with your daily
prayers. Very often, this is the only thing which is
left to mothers. Their children are either removed far
from them ; or, if near, they have lost their influence
over them. But there is One, who is near to them,
and who can influence them. 0 mothers ! plead for
your dear offspring at the throne of grace, travail in
birth for them, a second time. God is gracious. God
will regard the fervent, importunate cry of Christian
mothers. Bespeak also the prayers of friends. Get
them to unite with you in social prayer. This leads
me to speak of those societies, called "Maternal Asso-
ciations." If prudently and humbly conducted, they
are calculated to be eminently useful. Let all parade
and ostentation be avoided, and mothers may meet and
pray for their dear children, as often as they are dis-
posed.

LETTER TO A MOURNING, AFFLICTED WIDOW.

My Dear Friend, — What a change in your circum-
stances and worldly prospects within a short time ! A
few months since, you appeared to be carried along in
the full tide of prosperity. Every thing seemed to
smile around you, and probably you had no anticipa-
tion of the sad reverse which has occurred. Blessed with
health and abundance ; happy in the possession and
regard of an excellent husband, and in seeing around
you lovely and promising children, who were the joy
of your heart. But now, alas ! you are a bereaved,
desolate widow ; — you have experienced the greatest
loss which you could experience of any earthly posses-
sion ; — and, to increase the calamity, (for afflictions are
apt to come in clusters,) another stroke has fallen on
you, so that you have sorrow upon sorrow. Under
such afflicting circumstances, what can I say to allevi-
ate your distress? I am afraid that I can do no more
than to express my tender sympathy. Though far
off from the scene of your suffering, I feel for you — I
could weep with you. Officious efforts to check the
swelling torrent of grief, on such occasions, are injudi-
cious, and rather tend to aggravate than relieve our
misery. Nature must have its course. Tears, if deep-
rooted grief does not prevent, furnish almost the only
mitigation of which the mourner is susceptible : and
what nature demands, God does not forbid. There is
no sin in the feelings of lively sorrow, which such be-
reavements produce. The blessed Saviour did indeed
forbid the daughters of Jerusalem to weep for him,
because he had undertaken to bear the curse of God
for us, without alleviation ; but he tells them to weep
for themselves and their children. He did also exhort
the bereaved widow of Nain not to weep ; but the rea-
son of this was, that he intended immediately to restore

387

388 ~ LETTER TO A MOURNING,

to life her only son, then lying dead before her. When
our blessed Lord came to Bethany, and found the two
sisters, Martha and Mary, in a state of deep distress, on
account of the recent death of their only brother (the sup-
port and protector of the family), does he forbid their
tears ? No : the compassionate Jesus weeps with them !
How interesting, how amiable, does the kind condescen-
sion and tender sympathy of the Son of God towards this
afflicted family appear ! They had reason to be sur-
prised at his conduct beforehand, because, when they
sent for him, he delayed coming until their brother was
dead. His motive for this delay, they understood not ;
bat, when he came, they both remarked with sorrow-
ful regret, " Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother
had not died." And when he answered, " Thy bro-
ther shall rise again," they still had no other apprehen-
sion of his meaning, than that he should arise at the
last day. But his benevolent purpose was to restore
to them their beloved brother, by raising him from the
grave, where he had lain four days. But so deeply
was his compassionate heart affected by the sight of
the tears and distress of his beloved friends, that he
not only wept with them, but groaned in his spirit, a*nd
was troubled, and said, " where have you laid him ?"
And before he would enter the house to rest himself
after his journey, he must visit the grave of his friend,
that he might at once relieve the aching hearts of these
pious women. But no such relief can now be ex-
pected. Jesus, the almighty Saviour, who is "the
resurrection and the life," no longer sojourns among
men. But it should still be a consolation to mourners,
that, though exalted at the right hand of God, the
compassionate Redeemer is accessible, and that his ten-
der sympathy is still retained ; " for we have not an
High Priest who cannot be touched with a feeling of
our infirmities." He knows as well what his disciples
suffer, as if he were upon earth ; and is as able to aid
them and to comfort them in all their sorrows. I can-
not, then, give you better advice, than to "look unto
Jesus" — " who, for the joy set before him, endured the
cross, despising the shame, and is now set down at

AFFLICTED WIDOW. 389

the right hand of God." I know of no consideration
which is more effectual to reconcile us to bear with
submission our heaviest afflictions, than the contempla-
tion of our divine Redeemer wading through floods of
sorrow for our sake ; yea, overwhelmed with a weight
of distress which pressed him to the ground in a
bloody agony, and caused him to cry out with an ex-
ceeding bitter cry, "My soul is exceeding sorrowful,
even unto death;" and on the cross to exclaim, "My
God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me ?" " Did
Jesus thus suffer, and shall I repine ?" He was the
Son of God: he was holy, harmless, undefiled, and
separate from sinners ; and yet for our sake, he bore
this infinite pressure of grief. This suggests another
consideration, which I have always found, when I
could feel its force, to have a powerful effect in re-
pressing a murmuring and repining disposition. It is,
that we suffer less than we deserve. God afflicts us, it
may be, severely ; but his strokes are lighter than our
sins. If it were not for his unmerited mercy, we
should now be in hell.

Add to this, that God does not willingly afflict : he
takes no pleasure in the sufferings of any of his crea-
tures, much less in the sorrows of his children ; but he
chastises them for their real good. Why some are so
much more afflicted than others, wre do not know ; but
we do know, * that all things work together for good
to them that love God;" and that, although "no chas-
tening for the present is joyous, but grievous, yet af-
terwards it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness
unto them who are exercised thereby." The afflicted
mourner finds it hard to believe this promise, and can-
not see how it is possible that such a calamity should
be of any benefit. But God's word is to be credited in
opposition to our own feelings, and to all appearances.
He has ways of working which we do not now under-
stand, but shall know hereafter. He oan make our
bitterest anguish a salutary medicine for our diseased
souls. Oar whole course through this world is in-
tended to be a state of trial and discipline ; and there-
fore it is ordained, that " through much tribulation, we

33 *

390 LETTER TO A MOURNING,

must enter the kingdom." And all who are seen
standing on Mount Zion, clothed in white robes and
palms in their hands, had "come out of great tribu-
lation."

Another consideration of great weight in reconciling
us to our lot is, the shortness of time, and our nearness
to the joys of heaven. When, by faith, we can form
some just estimate of this matter, the keenest sufferings
and most distressing bereavements, sink into insignifi-
cance. Who in our times suffer as did the primitive
Christians? and yet Paul calls their afflictions light and
momentary. And well may we be satisfied to bear
them ; " for they work out for us a far more exceeding
and eternal weight of glory." And again, he says, " the
sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be
compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."
And it is reasonable to think that "the rest that re-
maineth for the people of God," will be enjoyed with
a higher zest, by those who pass into heaven from a
state of affliction, than by others.

I know, indeed, that by this visitation of . God, your
worldly prospects are sadly clouded; and you may
feel yourself to be in a deplorably helpless condition.
Unaccustomed to manage or preside, you are thrown
into distressing perplexity whenever you reflect upon
your condition. But I entreat you not to indulge these
gloomy forebodings. God has a way by which you
and your little family can be supported. He will
guide, protect, and bless you, if you confide in Him.
You are, indeed, in an unfriendly world, and will fre-
quently meet with selfish and unfeeling men, who will
not scruple to take advantage of your ignorance of
the affairs of the world; but a "judge of the father-
less and widow is God ;" and he invites you in a pe-
culiar manner to make him your refuge. "Leave,"
says he, " thy fatherless children, and I will preserve
them, and let your widows trust in me." Take
shelter under the covert of his wings, and commit
yourself entirely into his hand, and he will never leave
nor forsake you. The more you get into the habit of
seeing to your own affairs, and transacting your own

AFFLICTED WIDOW. 391

business, the better it will be for you. Nothing will
preserve you more effectually from melancholy and
dejection, than constant occupation. Females are
often found to possess a talent for business, which
neither they nor others ever suspected. Accept the
kind aid of friends, but do not depend upon it. If
necessary, engage in some business that will help to
support you. Teaching children is a peculiarly suit-
able employment for a widow who has children of her
own to be educated. Widows who reside in towns
and cities are often enabled to obtain the means of
subsistence by taking genteel boarders. Know exactly
what your income is, and be sure to keep within it in
your expenses. Debt is ruinous to all, and especially
to widows. Take counsel from judicious friends ; but
seek, in all cases, direction from the Lord. Be strict
in the government of your children. Make them obey
you implicitly, while they are young, and do not spoil
them by indulgence. But I do not recommend seve-
rity. Of this, however, you will be in no danger. In-
culcate religion upon their minds, and pray much for
them. Teach them, when old enough, the loss they
have sustained, and impress upon their minds the ne-
cessity of sobriety and frugality. " Bring them up in
the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

LETTER TO A BEREAVED WIDOWER.

My Dear Afflicted Friend — Since I heard of your
bereavement, by which " the desire of your eyes" has
been taken away from you by a sudden stroke, I have
thought often of you, and resolved to write you a letter
of condolence ; but perhaps, every effort to soothe your
sorrow, at present, will prove ineffectual. It is not
improbable, that the only relief which I can afford you
under the heavy calamity which a mysterious provi-
dence has laid upon you, will arise from the mere ex-
pression of my affectionate sympathy. I know that
your loss is great ; and that your heart is more rent and
broken than I, who have never experienced a similar
bereavement, can conceive. I admit that your loss is
irreparable. The beloved wife of your youth, and the
object of your earliest affection, whose chaste and re-
ciprocal affection cemented an union which nothing
but death could dissolve, and which made her as neces-
sary to your comfort as your own heart, is gone. Her
worth as an affectionate companion and most intimate
friend, could only be fully known to yourself. She
was, indeed, like a guardian angel, who was ever pre-
sent to aid you ; and although she was careful never
to leave her own proper sphere, to obtrude her opinion
in matters of which she was no competent judge ; yet,
in innumerable cases, when your spirit was too much
excited, or even exasperated, by the rude collisions
with the world, she has gently and almost impercepti-
bly kept you back from rash expressions and precipi-
tate acts, to which your disposition is, in such circum-
stances, somewhat inclined. Even when she did not
speak a word, the example of her meekness and gen-
tleness has been the means of restraining you, or recall-
ing you to a sense of your Christian duty. If I should
attempt to lessen your feeling of the greatness of your
loss, I should but mock your sincere and deep-rooted
grief. No; the chasm made in vour earthly enjoy-

392

LETTER TO A BEREAVED WIDOWER. 393

ments can never, in any event, be completely filled.
That this is indeed the true state of the case, I cannot
but feel, when I think of your dear little motherless
children. Their loss surely cannot be made up. They
can never have a second mother. God has implanted
the genuine maternal feeling in no heart, but that of
the real mother. I can imagine the desolate feeling of
helplessness and wretchedness which spreads over your
soul with an overwhelming weight, whenever you look
on these beloved babes, who are too young to be fully
sensible of the greatness of their bereavement ; and
especially when you gaze upon the little stranger, of
whom it can scarcely be said, that she ever saw her
mother. No one feels more dependent and helpless, in
such circumstances, than a father, much occupied with
the important concerns of the public. And did not
kind female friends come to his assistance, he would be
almost ready to despair. But these are the occasions
in which the interpositions of Providence are most re-
markable. Help comes seasonably, when no helpers
seem to be near ; and it comes often from unexpected
quarters. I have often wondered at the tenderness and
assiduity of female nurses, and their cheerful perform-
ance of painful services, when their prospect of remu-
neration was small. I have little doubt, but that
already, although your affliction is so recent, you have
had much cause to adore the kind workings of a benig-
nant Providence in your behalf. Your cup is not one
of unmixed misery. In the midst of judgment there
is m^cy. God hitherto has provided for your necessi-
ties, and will still provide. Let your trust in Him be
constant and unwavering. Although the stroke which
has laid you low, and clothed you, as it were, with
sackcloth and ashes, must be attended, upon every re-
flection, with piercing anguish; yet let one idea be
ever prominent in your mind, while thinking on this
mournful subject: "it is my Father's hand which has
inflicted this wound, and caused this pain ; and He
doth not afflict willingly, nor grieve the children of
men." The uninterrupted and uncommon prosperity
which has hitherto attended you, makes this stroke

394 LETTER TO A BEREAVED WIDOWER.

doubly distressing. From your youth, you seem to
have enjoyed the peculiar care of Providence. Though
early deprived of the watchful care of an excellent
father, you found friends who almost supplied the place
of a father ; who not only provided for your bodily
wants, but took care of your education ; and I do not
know that your advantages could have been greater,
had your good father continued to live. And since
you have become a man, and entered into that course
of life which you were permitted to choose for your-
self, I know of no one, in the same line, who has been
more successful in his pursuits, or who has been able
to conciliate more effectually the public favour. In-
deed, until this sad event, in a moment, dashed the cup
of worldly prosperity, you might be said to have been
like a favourite child, dandled on the knee, and exposed
to no rude blasts of adversity. But however pleasing
such scenes of prosperity, and however ardently we
cling to worldly comforts, it is a fact confirmed by gen-
eral experience, that a long continuance of such a state
is not favourable to the growth of piety. The heart
hardens in this continual sunshine. Imperceptibly we
lose the abiding, pjactical sense of our entire depend-
ence and weakness, and are prone to say, like the royal
psalmist, " My mountain stands strong, I shall never
be moved." And in such a state, we not only have a
weak impression of our feebleness and dependence,
but a greatly diminished sense of our own sinfulness.
And we know that a deep feeling of our wretched de-
pravity lies at the foundation of ^repentance towards
God, and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ," and o^very
lively exercise of piety. It is then good — it is neces-
sary, to have the blindness of our minds and the hard-
ness of our hearts removed by some means. Our love
of ease would have it done in some less painful man-
ner. We are willing to obtain the blessing, but not to
endure the chastisement connected with it. We love
health, but utterly dislike the medicine suited to restore
it. But could not God carry on his people's sanctifica-
tion without inflicting upon them wounds so deep and
painful ? What he can do is not the question. He is

LETTER TO A BEREAVED WIDOWER. 395

a sovereign, and doth what he will, and requires sub-
mission on our part. " Be still and know that I am
God." " Hear the rod, and him that hath appointed
it." It is enough for us to be assured, that this is God's
usual and appointed method of leading his chosen
people to the heavenly Canaan. They must first pass
through the briers and thorns of the wilderness.
Through much tribulation they must enter the king-
dom. Although severe afflictions are sometimes sent
principally as a trial of faith, patience and submission,
as we learn from the example of Job, yet most men,
who know themselves, will not be at a loss for reasons
to consider their own afflictions as chastisements. One
of the first salutary effects of the rod, is to stir up to
thorough self-examination. It leads to " great search-
ings of heart," awakens the sleeping conscience, and
dispels the illusion which worldly prosperity had im-
perceptibly spread over the mind. The wounded soul
starts and trembles, and takes a retrospect of the course
which has been pursued. If pride, or avarice, or lux-
ury has been too much indulged, and has led to
unchristian behaviour, those indulgences and those
actions (the turpitude of which was concealed,) now
stand forth in bold relief, in the view of the awakened
mind ; and the penitent backslider falls prostrate, con-
fesses the enormity and ingratitude of his sins, and
earnestly cries to God for mercy and for healing. Alas!
when we are at ease, and living in prosperity, how
cold and careless are we in our devotional exercises!
Engrossed with worldly business, and too well satisfied
with creature comforts, we forget God, and lose sight
of heaven. From this state of alienation we are sel-
dom reclaimed by the word alone. Indeed, in such a
frame, the truth can scarcely be said to have access to
our minds. But when the severe stroke of our Fa-
ther's rod is experienced, we begin to feel with keen
sensibility, and to pray with unwonted fervency and
importunity. And the afflicted child of God thus ar-
rested, convinced and humbled, cannot rest until he
obtains some new evidence of reconciliation — some ma-
nifestation of the love and favour of his offended Father.

396 LETTER TO A BEREAVED WIDOWER.

My dear sir, this affliction, severe as it is, may here-
after appear to have been in its consequences, a most
important blessing. In the view of it you may cry
out, " It was good for me to be afflicted ; for before I
was afflicted, I went astray, but now I keep thy stat-
utes." This dispensation may be not only useful but
necessary. It is not extravagant, nor inconsistent with
the unchangeableness of God's purpose of mercy to
his people to say, that severe chastisements may be in-
dispensably necessary to their salvation. His promise
of eternal life to believers is not irrespective of the
appropriate means. The apostle Peter speaks of a
need be, that some should " be in heaviness through
manifold temptation ;" " that the trial of your faith,"
says he, " being much more precious than of gold that
perisheth, though it be tried by fire, might be found
unto praise and honour and glory, at the appearing of
Jesus Christ." And Paul exalts the value and efficacy
of afflictions above all comparison, when he says,
" These light afflictions, which are but for a moment,
work out for us a far more exceeding and eternal
weight of glory." But observe, he calls them all light
and momentary — that is, in comparison with eternal
blessedness. As he says, in another place, "For I
reckon that the sufferings of this present time, are not
worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be
revealed in us." Is not the fact, that we are so cast
down and overwhelmed with afflictions, an evidence
of the weakness of our faith ? If eternity was in full
view, should we be so deeply affected with our be-
reavements; especially, when we have good reason to
hope that our departed friends are happy in heaven ?
They are only gone before to the place whither we
hope soon to follow them. I would say then, " gird
up the loins of your mind." You are in the vigour
of life, and in the midst of your days, and your Lord
has much work for you to do. The talents which he
has committed to you, should be most diligently im-
proved. The best cure for grief is, unceasing activity
in the cause of the Redeemer. I seem to feel assured
that this will be a new era in your life ; and although

LETTER TO A BEREAVED WIDOWER. 397

you have not been idle, nor unconcerned for the glory
of your Master, yet methinks the remainder of your
days will be far more fruitful than the past. I do trust
that your light will burn with a more bright and steady
flame. Henceforth you will not be liable to look for a
paradise on this side heaven. And you will be more
disposed than ever before, to concentrate your affections
on those things which are above. And as God's peo-
ple are a poor and afflicted people, for the most part,
he may be preparing you to be a comforter of the
mourners in Zion ; for none are qualified for this office,
but such as, having tasted the bitter cup of sorrow, have
been made partakers also of divine consolation, — as
Paul says to the Corinthians, " Blessed be God, even
the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mer-
cies and God of all comfort ; who comforteth us in all our
tribulations, that we may be able to comfort them which
are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we our-
selves are comforted of God."

It would be utterly superfluous to dissuade you from
thinking soon of a second marriage. Your own feel-
ings render every such idea abhorrent to your mind.
Perhaps it is indelicate and unkind to mention the sub-
ject at all ; but, as human feelings undergo a great
change in the lapse of a few months, and I may not
have the opportunity of speaking to you again, I would
say, be not hasty in this matter. Consider long, and
pray much over the subject, before you determine to
place a step-mother over your children. I do not wish
to lay any heavy burthen on your shoulders. I do not
mean to say that it may not be a duty in due time to
seek another companion ; but I do say, proceed cau-
tiously and conscientiously in this business. I do be-
lieve that many make a sad mistake in entering a
second time into the bonds of wedlock. As a prudent
wife comes from the Lord, ask counsel of Him.

TH£ end.

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