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Full text of "Through the looking glass : and what Alice found there"










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THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



AND WHAT ALICE FOUND THERE. 



DRAMATIS PERSONS. 



(As arranged before commencement of game.) 



White. 

pieces. tawns. 

Tweedledee : Daisy. 

Unicorn ...... Haigha. 

Sheep Oyster. 

W. Queen "Lily." 

AV T . King Fawn. 

Aged man Oyster. 

W. Knight Hatta. 

Tweedledum Daisy. 



Red. 



PAWNS. 


PIECES. 


Daisy . . 


. Humpty Dumpty 


Messenger 


. Carpenter. 


Oyster . . 


. Walrus. 


Tiger-lily . 


. R. Queen. 


Rose . . 


. R. King. 


Oyster . 


. Crow. 


Frog . . 


. R. Knight. 


Daisy . 


. Lion. 



RED. 



//A w/ A '9mW' /A W 



W H I T E. 



White Paivn {Alice) to play, and win in eleven moves. 



vxc.v 

1. Alice meets E. Q. . . 35 

2. Alice through Q.'s 3d (by 

railway) .... 48 
to Q.'s 4th (Tweedledum 
and Tweedledee) . . 54 

3. Alice meets W. Q. (with 

shawl) 91 

4. Alice to Q.'s 5th (slwp, 

river, shop) . . . .101 

5. Alice to Q.'s 6th (Humpty 

Dumpty) 112 

6. Alice to Q.'s 7th (forest) 155 

7. W. Kt. takes R. Kt, . . 161 

8. Alice to Q.'s 8th (coro- 

nation) 183 

9. Alice becomes Queen . 196 

10. Alice castles (feast) . . 204 

11. Alice takes R.Q. & wins 215 i 



1. R.Q. toK.R.'s4th 



PAOR 

45 



2. W. Q. to Q. B.'s 4th (after 

shawl) 91 



'3. W. Q. to Q. B.'s 5th (6c- 
comes sheej)) .... 

4. W. Q. to K. B.'s 8th 

(leaves egg on shelf) . 

5. W. Q. to Q. B.'s 8th (fly- 

ing from R. Kt.) 

6. R. Kt. to K.'s 2nd (ok) 

7. W. Kt, to K. B.'s 5 th . 

8. R. Q. to K.'s sq. (exami- 

nation) 186 

9. Queens castle . . . .199 
10. W.Q. to Q.R.'s 6th (soup) 211 



100 

111 

149 
158 

182 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS, 



AND WHAT ALICE FOUND THERE. 



BY 

LEWIS CARROLL, 

AUTHOR OF "ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND." 



WITH FIFTY ILLUSTRATIONS 
BY JOHN TENNIEL. 



JToninw : 
MACMILLAN AND CO. 

1872. 

[The Rigid of Translation and Meproduction is reserved.] 



Child of the pure unclouded brow 
And dreaming eyes of wonder ! 

Though time he fleet, and I and thou 
Are half a life asunder, 

Thy loving smile will surely hail 

The love-gift of a fairy-tale. 



I have not seen thy sunny face, 
Nor heard thy silver laughter; 

No thought of me shall find a place 
In thy young life's hereafter 

Enough that now thou wilt not fail 

To listen to my fairy-tale. 



A tale begun in other days, 

When summer suns were glowing 

A simple chime, that served to time 

The rhythm of our rowing 

Whose echoes live in memory yet, 
Though envious years would say ' forget. 



Come, hearken then, ere voice of dread, 

With hitter tidings laden, 
Shall summon to unwelcome bed 

A melancholy maiden ! 
We are but older children, dear, 
Who fret to find our bedtime near. 



Without, the frost, the blinding snow. 
The storm-wind's moody madness 

Within, the firelight's ruddy glow, 
And childhood's nest of gladness. 

The magic words shall hold thee fast : 

Thou shalt not heed the raving blast. 



And though the shadow of a sigh 
May treinble through the story, 

For ' happy summer days ' gone by, 
And vanish'd summer glory 

It shall not touch with breath of bale 

The pleasance of our fairy-tale. 



CONTENTS. 



CHAPTER PAGE 

I. LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE 1 

11. THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS . 26 

III. LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS 46 

IV. TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE . . ' 66 

V. WOOL AND WATER 91 

VI. HUMPTY DUMPTY 113 

VII. THE LION AND THE UNICORN 137 

VIII. "IT'S MY OWN INVENTION 157 

IX. QUEEN ALICE 185 

X. SHAKING 215 

XI. WAKING . 216 

XII. WHICH DREAMED IT? 218 




/P/1A^/^^V\\'V X ^C^ 



CHAPTER 1. 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 



ONE thing was certain, that the white kitten 

had had nothing to do with it : it was the 

black kitten's fault entirely. For the white kitten 
had been having its face washed by the old 
cat for the last quarter of an hour (and bearing 
it pretty well, considering) ; so you see that it 
couldn't have had any hand in the mischief. 

/ B 



2 LOOKINU-GLASS HOUSE. 

The way Dinah washed her children's faces 
was this : first she held the poor thing down 
by its ear with one paw, and then with the 
other paw she rubbed its face all over, the 
wrong way, beginning at the nose : and just 
now, as I said, she was hard at work on the 
white kitten, which was lying quite still and 

trying to purr no doubt feeling that it was 

all meant for its good. 

But the black kitten had been finished with 
earlier in the afternoon, and so, while Alice was 
sitting curled up in a corner of the great arm- 
chair, half talking to herself and half asleep, 
the kitten had been having a grand game of 
romps with the ball of worsted Alice had been 
trying to wind up, and had been rolling it 
up and down till it had all come undone again; 
and there it was, spread over the hearth-rug, 
all knots and tangles, with the kitten running 
after its own tail in the middle. 

"Oh, you wicked wicked little thing!" cried 
Alice, catching up the kitten, and giving it a 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 3 

little kiss to make it understand that it was in 
disgrace. " Really, Dinah ought to have taught 
you better manners ! You ought, Dinah, you 
know you ought ! " she added, looking reproach- 
fully at the old cat, and speaking in as cross 

a voice as she could manage— and then she 

scrambled back into the arm-chair, taking the 
kitten and the worsted with her, and began 
winding up the ball again. But she didn't get 
on very fast, as she was talking all the time, 
sometimes to the kitten, and sometimes to herself. 
Kitty sat very demurely on her knee, pretending 
to watch the progress of the winding, and now 
and then putting out one paw and gently touching 
the ball, as if it would be glad to help if it might. 
" Do you know what to-morrow is, Kitty ? " 
Alice began. " You'd have guessed if you'd 

been up in the window with me -only Dinah 

was making you tidy, so you couldn't. I was 
watching the boys getting in sticks for the bon- 
fire and it wants plenty of sticks, Kitty ! 

Only it got so cold, and it snowed so, they 

B 2 



4 LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 

had to leave off. Never mind, Kitty, we'll go 
and see the bonfire to-morrow." Here Alice 
wound two or three turns of the worsted 
round the kitten's neck, just to see how it 
would look : this led to a scramble, in which 
the ball rolled down upon the floor, and yards 
and yards of it got unwound again. 

" Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty," Alice 
went on, as soon as they were comfortably 
settled again, "when I saw all the mischief you 
had been doing, I was very nearly opening the 
window, and putting you out into the snow! 
And you'd have deserved it, you little mis- 
chievous darling ! What have you got to say 
for yourself I Now don't interrupt me ! " she 
went on, holding up one finger. "I'm going 
to tell you all your faults. Number one : you 
squeaked twice while Dinah was washing your 
face this morning. Now you can't deny it, 
Kitty : I heard you ! What's that you say ? " 
(pretending that the kitten was speaking.) "Her 
paw went into your eye ? Well, that's your 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 




fault, for keeping your eyes open — if you'd shut 
them, tight up, it wouldn't have happened. Now 
don't make any more excuses, but listen ! Num- 



6 LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 

ber two : you pulled Snowdrop away by the 
tail just as I had put down the saucer of milk 
before her ! What, you were thirsty, were you ? 
How do you know she wasn't thirsty too % 
Now for number three : you unwound every 
bit of the worsted while I wasn't looking ! 

"That's three faults, Kitty, and you've not 
been punished for any of them yet. You know 
I'm saving up all your punishments for Wednes- 
day week Suppose they had saved up all 

my punishments ! " she went on, talking more 
to herself than the kitten. "What would they 
do at the end of a year? I should be sent 
to prison, I suppose, when the day came. 

Or let me see suppose each punishment 

was to be going without a dinner : then, when 
the miserable day came, I should have to go 
without fifty dinners at once ! Well, I shouldn't 
mind that much ! I'd far rather go without 
them than eat them ! 

" Do you hear the snow against the window- 
panes, Kitty 1 How nice and soft it sounds ! 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 7 

Just as if some one was kissing the window all 
over outside. I wonder if the snow loves the 
trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently 1 
And then it covers them up snug, you know, 
with a white quilt ; and perhaps it says, ' Go to 
sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.' 
And when they wake up in the summer, Kitty, 
they dress themselves all in green, and dance 

about whenever the wind blows oh, 

that's very pretty ! " cried Alice, dropping the 
ball of worsted to clap her hands. "And I 
do so wish it was true ! I 'm sure the woods 
look sleepy in the autumn, when the leaves 
are getting brown. 

" Kitty, can you play chess 1 Now, don't smile, 
my dear, I'm asking it seriously. Because, when 
we were playing just now, you watched just as 
if you understood it: and- when I said ''Check!' 
you purred ! Well, it was a nice check, Kitty, 
and really I might have won, if it hadn't been 
for that nasty Knight, that came wriggling down 
among my pieces. Kitty, dear, let's pretend " 



8 LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 

And here I wish I could tell you half the 
things Alice used to say, beginning with her 
favourite phrase " Let's pretend.'"' She had had 
quite a long argument with her sister only the 
day before — all because Alice had begun with 
"Let's pretend we're kings and queens:" and her 
sister, who liked being very exact, had argued 
that they couldn't, because there were only two 
of them, and Alice had been reduced at last to 
say, "Well, you can be one of them then, and 
I'll be all the rest." And once she had really 
frightened her old nurse by shouting suddenly 
in her ear, "Nurse! Do let's pretend that I'm 
a hungry hyaena, and you're a bone ! " 

But this is taking us away from Alice's 
speech to the kitten. "Let's pretend that you're 
the Red Queen, Kitty! Do you know, I think if 
you sat up and folded your arms, you'd look 
exactly like her. Now do try, there's a dear!" 
And Alice got the Red Queen off the table, and 
set it up before the kitten as a model for it to 
imitate : however, the thing didn't succeed, prin- 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 9 

cipally, Alice said, because the kitten wouldn't 
fold its arms properly. So, to punish it, she held 
it up to the Looking-glass, that it might see how 

sulky it was " and if you're not good directly," 

she added, "I'll put you through into Looking- 
glass House. How would you like that ? 

"Now, if you'll only attend, Kitty, and not 
talk so much,. I'll tell you all my ideas about 
Looking-glass House. First, there's the room you 

can see through the glass that's just the same 

as our drawing-room, only the things go the 
other way. I can see all of it when I get upon 
a chair— — all but the bit just behind the fire- 
place. Oh ! I do so wish I could see that bit ! 
I want so much to know whether they've a 
fire in the winter : you never can tell, you 
know, unless our fire smokes, and then smoke 
comes up in that room too but that may be 
only pretence, just to make it look as if they 
had a fire. Well then, the books are something 
like our books, only the words go the wrong 
way ; I know that, because I've held up one of 



10 LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 

our books to the glass, and then they hold tip 
one in the other room. 

" How would you like to live in Looking- 
glass House, Kitty ? I wonder if they'd give 
you milk in there % Perhaps Looking-glass milk 

isn't good to drink But oh, Kitty ! now we 

come to the passage. You can just see a little 
peep of the passage in Looking-glass House, if 
vou leave the door of our drawing-room wide 
open : and it 's very like our passage as far as 
you can see, only you know it may be quite 
different on beyond. Oh, Kitty ! how nice it 
would be if we could only get through into 
Looking-glass House ! I 'm sure it 's got, oh ! 
such beautiful things in it ! Let 's pretend there 's 
a way of getting through into it, somehow, 
Kitty . Let 's pretend the glass has got all soft 
like gauze, so that we can get through. Why, 
it 's turning into a sort of mist now, I declare ! 

It'll be easy enough to get through " She 

was up on the chimney-piece while she said 
this, though she hardly knew how she had got 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 



11 



MlJ]l!j|ilfllOJ!,ii ! !i 




there. And certainly the glass was beginning 
to melt away, just like a bright silvery mist. 
In another moment Alice was through the 



12 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 




glass, and had jumped lightly down into the 
Looking-glass room. The very first thing she did 
was to look whether there was a fire in the 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 13 

fireplace, and she was quite pleased to find that 
there was a real one, blazing away as brightly 
as the one she had left behind. "So I shall be 
as warm here as I was in the old room/' thought 
Alice: "warmer, in fact, because there '11 be no 
one here to scold me away from the fire. Oh, 
what fun it'll be, when they see me through 
the glass in here, and can't get at me ! " 

Then she began looking about, and noticed 
that what could be seen from the old room 
was quite common and uninteresting, but that 
all the rest was as different as possible. For 
instance, the pictures on the wall next the fire 
seemed to be all alive, and the very clock on 
the chimney-piece (you know you can only see 
the back of it in the Looking-glass) had got 
the face of a little old man, and grinned at her. 

" They don't keep this room so tidy as the 
other," Alice thought to herself, as she noticed 
several of the chessmen down in the hearth 
among the cinders : but in another moment, with 
a little " Oh ! " of surprise, she was down on her 



14 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 



hands and knees watching them. The chessmen 
were walking about, two and two ! 

" Here are the Red King and the Red 
Queen," Alice said (in a whisper, for fear of 
frightening them), "and there are the White 
King and the White Queen sitting on the edge 
of the shovel and here are two Castles walk- 
ing arm in arm 1 don't think they can 

hear me," she went on, as she put her head 







LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 15 



closer down, "and I'm nearly sure they can't 
see me. I feel somehow as if I were in- 
visible " 

Here something began squeaking on the table 
behind Alice, and made her turn her head just 
in time to see one of the White Pawns roll 
over and begin kicking : she watched it with 
great curiosity to see what would happen next. 

" [t is the voice of my child ! " the White 
Queen cried out, as she rushed past the King, 
so violently that she knocked him over among 
the cinders. " My precious Lily ! My imperial 
kitten ! " and she began scrambling wildly up 
the side of the fender. 

" Imperial fiddlestick ! " said the King, rub- 
bing his nose, which had been hurt by the fall. 
He had a right to be a little annoyed with 
the Queen, for he was covered with ashes from 
head to foot. 

. Alice was very anxious to be of use, and, 
as the poor little Lily was nearly screaming her- 
self into a fit, she hastily picked up the Queen 



16 LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 

and set her on the table by the side of her 
noisy little daughter. 

The Queen gasped, and sat down : the rapid 
journey through the air had quite taken away 
her breath, and for a minute or two she could 
do nothing but hug the little Lily in silence. 
As soon as she had recovered her breath a little, 
she called out to the White King, who was sitting 
sulkily among the ashes, " Mind the volcano ! " 

" What volcano ? " said the King, looking up 
anxiously into the fire, as if he thought that 
was the most likely place to find one. 

" Blew me up," panted the Queen, who 

was still a little out of breath. "Mind you come 
up the regular way don't get blown up !" 

Alice watched the White King as he slowly 
struggled up from bar to bar, till at last she 
said, "Why, you'll be hours and hours getting 
to the table, at that rate. I'd far better help 
you, hadn't I \ " But the King took no notice 
of the question : it was quite clear that he could 
neither hear her nor see her. 



LOOKING GLASS HOUSE. 



17 




So Alice picked him up very gently, and 
lifted him across more slowly than she had lifted 
the Queen, that she mightn't take his breath 
away : but, before she put him on the table, she 
thought she might as well dust him a little, 
he was so covered with ashes. 

She said afterwards that she had never seen 
in all her life such a face as the King made, 
when he found himself held in the air by an 

c 



18 LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 

invisible hand, and being dusted : lie was far too 
much astonished to cry out, but his eyes and 
his mouth went on getting larger and larger, 
and rounder and rounder, till her hand shook 
so with laughing that she nearly let him drop 
upon the floor. 

" Oh ! please don't make such faces, my dear ! " 
she cried out, quite forgetting that the King 
couldn't hear her. " You make me laugh so 
that I can hardly hold you ! And don't keep 
your mouth so wide open ! All the ashes will 

get into it there, now I think you're tidy 

enough ! " she added, as she smoothed his hair, 
and set him upon the table near the Queen. 

The King immediately fell flat on his back, 
and lay perfectly still: and Alice was a little 
alarmed at what she had done, and went round 
the room to see if she could find any water to 
throw over him. However, she could find 
nothing but a bottle of ink, and when she got 
back with it she found he had recovered, and. 
he and the Queen were talking together in a 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 19 

frightened whisper — —so low, that Alice could 
hardly hear what they said. 

The King was saying, " I assure you, my 
dear, I turned cold to the very ends of my 
whiskers ! " 

To which the Queen replied, " You haven't 
got any whiskers." 

"The horror of that moment," the King went 
on, "I shall never, never forget ! " 

"You will, though," the Queen said, "if you 
don't make a memorandum of it." 

Alice looked on with great interest as the 
King took an enormous memorandum-book out 
of his pocket, and began writing. A sudden 
thought struck her, and she took hold of the 
end of the pencil, which came some way over 
his shoulder, and began writing for him. 

The poor King looked puzzled and unhappy, 
and struggled with the pencil for some time 
without saying anything; but Alice was too 
strong for him, and at last he panted out, " My 
dear ! I really must get a thinner pencil. I can't 

C 2 



20 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 



manage this one a bit ; it writes all manner 

of things that I don't intend " 

" What manner of things ? " said the Queen, 
looking over the book (in which Alice had put 

' The White Knight 
is sliding doum the 
poker. He balances 
very badly'). "That's 
not a memorandum 
of your feelings ! " 

There was a book 
lying near Alice on 
the table, and. while 
she sat watching 
the White King (for 
she was still a little 
anxious about him, 
and had the ink all ready to throw over 
him, in case he fainted again), she turned over 
the leaves, to find some part that she could 
read, " — for it's all in some language I don't 
know," she said to herself. 




LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 21 

It was like this, 

\&<S»w &fa wV aW«vV^ bwo yr^\> SwCL 



She puzzled over this for some time, but 
at last a bright thought struck her. " Why, 
it's a Looking-glass book, of course ! And if 
I hold it up to a glass, the words will all go 
the right way again." 

This was the poem that Alice read. 



JABBERWOCKY. 

*Twas Irillig, and the slithy toves 

Did gyre and gimhle in the wade; 
All mimsy were the borogoves, 

And the mome raths outgrabe 



22 LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 

" Beware the Jabberwock, my son ! 

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch ! 
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun 
The frumious Bandersnatch /" 



He took his vorpal sword in hand: 

Long time the manxome foe he sought — 
So rested he by the Tumtum tree, 
And stood awhile in thought. 



And as in ufflsh thought he stood, 

The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, 
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, 
And burbled as it tame ! 



One, two ! One, two ! And through and through 

The vorpal blade went snicker-snack ! 
He left it dead, and with its head 
He went galumphing back. 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 




24 LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 

" And hast thou slain the JabbervjocJc ? 
Come to my arms, my beamish boy ! 
frabjous day! Gallooh! Callay!" 
He chortled in his joy. 



'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves 

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; 
All mimsy were the borogoves, 

And the mome raths outgrabe. 



"It seems very pretty/' she said when she 
had finished it, " but it's rather hard to under- 
stand ! " (You see she didn't like to confess, even 
to herself, that she couldn't make it out at all.) 
"Somehow it seems to fill my head with ideas 

only I don't exactly know what they are ! 

However, somebody killed something: that's clear, 
at any rate " 

" But oh ! " thought Alice, suddenly jumping 
up, "if I don't make hastj I shall have to 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 25 

go back through the Looking-glass, before I've 
seen what the rest of the house is like ! Let's 
have a look at the garden first ! " She was out 
of the room in a moment, and ran down stairs 

or, at least, it wasn't exactly running, but 

a new invention for getting down stairs quickly 
and easily, as Alice said to herself. She just 
kept the tips of her fingers on the hand-rail, 
and floated gently down without even touching 
the stairs with her feet ; then she floated on 
through the hall, and would have gone straight 
out at the door in the same way, if she hadn't 
caught hold of the door-post. She was getting 
a little giddy with so much floating in the air, 
and was rather glad to find herself walking 
again in the natural way. 



CHAPTER II. 

THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS. 

" I should see the garden far better," said 
Alice to herself, "if I could get to the top of 
that hill : and here's a path that leads straight 

to it at least, no, it doesn't do that " 

(after going a few yards along the path, and 
turning several sharp corners), "but I suppose 
it will at last. But how curiously it twists ! 
It 's more like a corkscrew than a path ! "Well, 

this turn goes to the hill, I suppose no, it 

doesn't ! This goes straight back to the house ! 
Well then, I'll try it the other way." 

And so she did : wandering up and down, 



GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS. 27 

and trying turn after turn, but always coming 
back to the house, do what she would. Indeed, 
once, when she turned a corner rather more 
quickly than usual, she ran against it before 
she could stop herself. 

"It's no use talking about it," Alice said, 
looking up at the house and pretending it was 
arguing with her. "I'm not going in again 
yet. I know I should have to get through the 
Looking-glass again — back into the old room — 
and there 'd be an end of all my adventures ! " 

So, resolutely turning her back upon the 
house, she set out once more down the path, 
determined to keep straight on till she got to 
the hill. For a few minutes all went on well, 
and she was just saying, " I really shall do it 

this time " when the path gave a sudden 

twist and shook itself (as she described it after- 
wards), and the next moment she found herself 
actually walking in at the door. 

" Oh, it 's too bad ! " she cried. " I never saw 
such a house for getting in the way ! Never!" 



28 THE GARDEN OP 

However, there was the hill full in sight, 
so there was nothing to be done but start 
again. This time she came upon a large flower- 
bed, with a border of daisies, and a willow-tree 
growing in the middle. 

" Tiger-lily," said Alice, addressing her- 
self to one that was waving gracefully about 
in the wind, " I wish you could talk ! " 

" We can talk," said the Tiger-lily : " when 
there's anybody worth talking to." 

Alice was so astonished that she couldn't 
speak for a minute : it quite seemed to take 
her breath away. At length, as the Tiger-lily 
only went on waving about, she spoke again, 
in a timid voice — almost in a whisper. "And 
can all the flowers talk ? " 

" As well as you can," said the Tiger-lily. 
" And a great deal louder." 

"It isn't manners for us to begin, you 
know," said the Eose, "and I really was won- 
dering when you'd speak ! Said I to myself, 
'Her face has got some sense in it, though 



LIVE FLOWERS. 29 

it's not a clever one!' 
Still, you're the right 
colour, and that goes 
a long way." 




'I don't care about the colour," the Tiger- 
lily remarked. "If only her petals curled up a 



little more, she'd be all right 



30 THE GARDEN OF 

Alice didn't like being criticised, so she 
began asking questions. " Aren't you sometimes 
frightened at being planted out here, with no- 
body to take care of you 1 " 

" There's the tree in the middle," said the 
Eose : " what else is it good for ? " 

" But what could it do, if any danger 
came ? " Alice asked. 

"It could bark," said the Rose. 

" It says ' Bough-wough ! ' " cried a Daisy : 
" that 's why its branches are called boughs ! " 

" Didn't you know that ? " cried another 
Daisy, and here they all began shouting together, 
till the air seemed quite full of little shrill 
voices. " Silence, every one of you ! " cried 
the Tiger-lily, waving itself passionately from 
side to side, and trembling with excitement. 
"They know I can't get at them ! " it panted, 
bending its quivering head towards Alice, "or 
they wouldn't dare to do it ! " 

"Never mind!" Alice said in a soothing 
tone, and stooping down to the daisies, who 



LIVE FLOWERS. 31 

were just beginning again, she whispered, "If 
you don't hold your tongues, I'll pick you ! " 

There was silence in a moment, and several 
of the pink daisies turned white. 

"That's right!" said the Tiger-lily. "The 
daisies are worst of all. When one speaks, they 
all begin together, and it's enough to make 
one wither to hear the way they go on ! " 

" How is it you can all talk so nicely ? " 
Alice said, hoping to get it into a better temper 
by a compliment. " I've been in many gardens 
before, but none of the flowers could talk." 

"Put your hand down, and feel the ground," 
said the Tiger-lily. " Then you '11 know why." 

Alice did so. "It's very hard," she said, 
"but I don't see what that has to do with it." 

"In most gardens," the Tiger-lily said, "they 
make the beds too soft — so that the flowers 
are always asleep." 

This sounded a very good reason, and Alice 
was quite pleased to know it. " I never thought 
of that before ! " she said. 



32 THE GARDEN OF 

" It's my opinion that you never think at 
all" the Eose said in a rather severe tone. 

. "I never saw anybody that looked stupider," 
a Violet said, so suddenly, that Alice quite 
jumped ; for it hadn't spoken before. 

" Hold your tongue ! " cried the Tiger-lily. 
"As if you ever saw anybody ! You keep your 
head under the leaves, and snore away there, 
till you know no more what's going on in the 
world, than if you were a bud 1 " 

" Are there any more people in the garden 
besides me ? " Alice said, not choosing to notice 
the Eose's last remark. 

"There's one other flower in the garden 
that can move about like you," said the Eose. 

" I wonder how you do it " (" You're 

always wondering," said the Tiger-lily), "but 
she's more bushy than you are." 

" Is she like me ? " Alice asked eagerly, for 
the thought crossed her mind, "There's another 
little girl in the garden, somewhere ! " 

" Well, she has the same awkward shape as 



LIVE FLOWERS. 33 

you," the Eose said, "but she's redder and 

her petals are shorter, I think." 

" Her petals are done up close, almost like 
a dahlia," the Tiger-lily interrupted : " not tum- 
bled about anyhow, like yours." 

" But that's not your fault," the Eose added 
kindly : " you're beginning to fade, you know 

and then one can't help one's petals getting 

a little untidy." 

Alice didn't like this idea at all : so, to 
change the subject, she asked " Does she ever 
come out here ? " 

" I daresay you'll see her soon," said the 
Eose. " She's one of the thorny kind." 

" Where does she wear the thorns ? " Alice 
asked with some curiosity. 

" Why, all round her head, of course," the 
Eose replied. "I was wondering you hadn't got 
some too. I thought it was the regular rule." 

" She's coming ! " cried the Larkspur. " I 
hear her footstep, thump, thump, along the 
gravel-walk ! " 

D 



3* THE GARDEN OF 

Alice looked round eagerly, and found that 
it was the Ked Queen. "She's grown a good 
deal ! " was her first remark. She had indeed : 
when Alice first found her in the ashes, she 

had been only three inches high and here 

she was, half a head taller than Alice herself ! 

" It 's the fresh air that does it," said the 
Rose : " wonderfully fine air it - is, out here." 

"I think I'll go and meet her," said Alice, 
for, though the flowers were interesting enough, 
she felt that it would be far grander to have a 
talk with a real Queen. 

" You can't possibly do that," said the Rose : 
"i" should advise you to walk the other way." 

This sounded nonsense to Alice, so she said 
nothing, but set off at once towards the Red 
Queen. To her surprise, she lost sight of her 
in a moment, and found herself walking in at 
the front-door again. 

A little provoked, she drew back, and after 
looking everywhere for the Queen (whom she 
spied out at last, a long way off), she thought 



LIVE FLOWERS. 



35 



she would try the plan, this time, of walking 
in the opposite direction. 




It succeeded beautifully. She had not been 
walking- a minute before she found herself face 
to face with the Eed Queen, and full in sight of 
the hill she had been so long aiming at. 

D 2 



36 THE GARDEN OF 

" Where do you come from ? " said the Red 
Queen. " And where are you going 1 Look up, 
speak nicely, and don't twiddle your fingers all 
the time." 

Alice attended to all these directions, and 
explained, as well as she could, that she had 
lost her way. 

"I don't know what you mean by your 
way," said the Queen : " all the ways about here 

belong to me -but why did you come out 

here at all % " she added in a kinder tone. 
"Curtsey while you're thinking what to say. 
It saves time." 

Alice wondered a little at this, but she was 
too much in . awe of the Queen to disbelieve it. 
"I'll try it when I go home," she thought to 
herself, "the next time I'm a little late for 
dinner." 

" It's time for you to answer now," the Queen 
said, looking at her watch : " open your mouth 
a little wider when you speak, and always 
say 'your Majesty.'" 



LIVE FLOWERS. 37 

"I only wanted to see what the garden was 
like, your Majesty " 

"That's right," said the Queen, patting her 
on the head, which Alice didn't like at all . 
"though, when you say 'garden.' — I've seen 
gardens, compared with which this would he a 
wilderness." 

Alice didn't dare to argue the point, but 

went on : " and I thought I'd try and find 

my way to the top of that hill " 

" When you say ' hill,' " the Queen inter- 
rupted, " / could show you hills, in comparison 
with which you'd call that a valley." 

" No, I shouldn't," said Alice, surprised into 
contradicting; her at last : " a hill cant be a 
valley, you know. That would be nonsense " 

The Eed Queen shook her head. "You may 
call it 'nonsense' if you like," she said, "but 
I've heard nonsense, compared with which that 
would be as sensible as a dictionary ! " 

Alice curtseyed again, as she was afraid from 
the Queen's tone that she was a little offended : 



38 



THE GARDEN OP 



and they walked on in silence till they got to 
the top of the little hill. 




For some minutes Alice stood without speak- 
ing, looking out in all directions over the country 
— and a most curious country it was. There 
were a number of tiny little brooks running 
straight across it from side to side, and the 
ground between was divided up into squares by 
a number of little green hedges, that reached 
from brook to brook. 

"I declare it's marked out just like a large 
chess-board ! " Alice said at last. " There ought 



LIVE FLOWERS. 39 

to be some men moving about somewhere 

and so there are ! " she added in a tone of 
delight, and her heart began to beat quick 
with excitement as she went on. " It's a great 
huge game of chess that 's being played— — 

all over the world if this is the world at 

all, you know. Oh, what fun it is ! How I 
wish I was one of them ! 1 wouldn't mind 
being a Pawn, if onlv I might join — — though 
of course I should like to be a Queen, best." 

She glanced rather shyly at the real Queen 
as she said this, but her companion only smiled 
pleasantly, and said, "That's easily managed. 
You can be the White Queen's Pawn, if you 
like, as Lily's too young to play; and you're in 
the Second Square to begin with : when you 

get to the Eighth Square you'll be a Queen " 

Just at this moment, somehow or other, they 
began to run. . 

Alice never could quite make out, in think- 
ing it over afterwards, how it was that they 
began : all she remembers is, that they were run- 



40 THE GARDEN OF 

ning hand in hand, and the Queen went so fast 
that it was all she could do to keep up with 
her : and still the Queen kept crying " Faster ! 
Faster ! " but Alice felt she could not go faster, 
though she had no breath left to say so. 

The most curious part of the thing was, that 
the trees and the other things round them never 
changed their places at all : however fast they 
went, they never seemed to pass anything. " I 
wonder if all the things move along with us ? " 
thought poor puzzled Alice. And the Queen 
seemed to guess her thoughts, for she cried, 
" Faster ! Don't try to talk ! " 

Not that Alice had any idea of doing that. 
She felt as if she would never be able to talk 
again, she was getting so much out of breath : 
and still the Queen cried " Faster ! Faster ! " 
and dragged her along. " Are we nearly there % " 
Alice managed to pant out at last. 

"Nearly there!" the Queen repeated. "Why, 
we passed it ten minutes ago ! Faster ! " And 
they ran on for a time in silence, with the 



LIVE FLOWERS. 



41 



wind whistling in Alice's ears, and almost blow- 
ing her hair off her head, she fancied. 




wsmmm?-^'^^ 



" Now ! Now ! " cried the Queen. " Faster ! 
Faster ! " And they went so fast that at last 
they seemed to skim through the air, hardly 
touching the ground with their feet, till sud- 
denly, just as Alice was getting quite exhausted, 
they stopped, and she found herself sitting on 
the ground, breathless and giddy. 

The Queen propped her up against a tree, 
and said kindly, "You may rest a little now," 



42 THE GARDEN OF 

Alice looked round her in great surprise. 
" Why, I do believe we 've been under this tree 
the whole time ! Everything's just as it was ! " 

" Of course it is," said the Queen : " what 
would you have it 1 " 

" Well, in our country," said Alice, still 
panting a little, " you'd generally get to some- 
where else if you ran very fast for a long 

time, as we've been doing." 

" A slow sort of country ! " said the Queen. 
"Now, here, you see, it takes all the running 
you can do, to keep in the same place. If 
you want to get somewhere else, you must run 
at least twice as fast as that ! " 

"I'd rather not try, please!" said Alice.' 

"I'm quite content to stay here only I am 

so hot and thirsty ! " 

"I know what you'd like!" the Queen said 
good-naturedly, taking a little box out of her 
pocket. " Have a biscuit ? " 

Alice thought it would not be civil to say 
" No," though it wasn't at all what she wanted. 



LIVE FLOWEKS. 43 

So she took it, and ate it as well as she could : 
and it was very dry ■ and she thought she had 
never been so nearly choked in ah her life. 

"While you're refreshing yourself," said the 
Queen, *" I'll just take the measurements." And 
she took a ribbon out of her pocket, marked 
in inches, and began measuring the ground, and 
sticking little pegs in here and there. 

" At the end of two yards," she said, putting 
in a peg to mark the distance, " I shall give 
you your directions have another biscuit % " 

"No, thank you," said Alice: "one's quite 
enough ! " 

" Thirst quenched, 1 hope ? " said the Queen. 

Alice did not know what to say to this, 
but luckily the Queen did not wait for an 
answer, but went on. " At the end of three 

yards I shall repeat them for fear of your 

forgetting them. At the end of four, I shall say 
good-bye. And at the end of five, I shall go!" 

She had got all the pegs put in by this 
time, and Alice looked on with great interest 



44 THE GARDEN OP 

as she returned to the tree, and then began 
slowly walking down the row. 

At the two-yard peg she faced round, and 
said, " A pawn goes two squares in its first 
move, you know. So you'll go very .quickly 

through the Third Square by railway, I should 

think and you'll find yourself in the Fourth 

Square in no time. Well, that square belongs 

to Tweedledum and Tweedledee the Fifth is 

mostly water the Sixth belongs to Humpty 

Dumpty But you make no remark 1 " 

"I 1 didn't know I had to make one 

just then," Alice faltered out. 

" You should have said," the Queen went on 
in a tone of grave reproof, " * It 's extremely kind 

of you to tell me all this' however, we'll 

suppose it said the Seventh Square is all 

forest however, one of the Knights will show 

you the way and in the Eighth Square we 

shall be Queens together, and it's all feasting 
and fun ! " Alice got up and curtseyed, and 
sat down a^ain. 



LIVE FLOWERS. . 45 

At the next peg the Queen turned again, 
and this time she said, "Speak in French when 

you can't think of the English for a thing 

turn out your toes as you walk and re- 
member who you are ! " She did not wait 
for Alice to curtsey this time, but walked on 
quickly to the next peg, where she turned for 
a moment to say " good-bye/' and then hurried 
on to the last. 

How it happened, Alice never knew, but 
exactly as she came to the last peg, she was 
gone. Whether she vanished into the air, or 
whether she ran quickly into the wood ("and 
she can run very fast ! " thought Alice), there 
was no way of guessing, but she was gone, 
and Alice began to remember that she was 
a Pawn, and that it would soon be time for 
her to move. 



CHAPTER III. 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 



Of course the first thing to do was to make 
a grand survey of the country she was going 
to travel through. "It's something very like 
learning geography," thought Alice, as she stood 
on tiptoe in hopes of being able to see a little 

further. " Principal rivers there are none. 

Principal mountains I'm on the only one, but 

I don't think it's got any name. Principal 

towns why, what are those creatures, making 

honey down there ? They can't be bees nobody 

ever saw bees a mile off, you know " and 

for some time she stood silent, watching one of 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 47 

them that was bustling about among the flowers, 
poking its proboscis into them, "just as if it was 
a regular bee," thought Alice. 

However, this was anything but a regular 

bee : in fact, it was an elephant as Alice soon 

found out, though the idea quite took her breath 
away at first. " And what enormous flowers 
they must be ! " was her next idea. " Something 
like cottages with the roofs taken off, and stalks 

put to them and what quantities of honey 

they must make! I think I'll go down and- 

no, I won't go just yet," she went on, checking 
herself just as she was beginning to run down 
the hill, and trying to find some excuse for turning 
shy so suddenly. " It'll never do to go down 
among them without a good long branch to 

brush them away and what fun it'll be when 

they ask me how I liked my walk. I shall 

say ' Oh, I liked it well enough ' (here 

came the favourite little toss of the head), 'only 
it was so dusty and hot, and the elephants 
did tease so ! ' " 



48 LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 

"I think I'll go down the other way," she 
said after a pause : " and perhaps I may visit 
the elephants later on. Besides, I do so want 
to get into the Third Square ! " 

So with this excuse she ran down the hill 
and jumped over the first of the six little 
brooks. 



" Tickets, please ! " said the Guard, putting 
his head in at the window. In a moment every- 
body was holding out a ticket : they were 
about the same size as the people, and quite 
seemed to fill the carriage. 

" Now then ! Show your ticket, child ! " the 
Guard went on, looking angrily at Alice. And 
a great many voices all said together ("like the 
chorus of a song," thought Alice), " Don't keep 
him waiting, child! Why, his time is worth a 
thousand pounds a minute ! " 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 40 

" I 'm afraid I haven't got one," Alice said 
in a frightened tone : " there wasn't a ticket-office 
where I came from." And again the chorus of 
voices went on. " There wasn't room for one 
where she came from. The land there is worth 
a thousand, pounds an inch !" 

" Don't make excuses," said the Guard : " you 
should have bought one from the engine-drrver." 
And once more the chorus of voices went on 
with "The man that drives the engine. Why, 
the smoke alone is worth a thousand pounds 
a puff!" 

Alice thought to herself, " Then there s no 
use in speaking." The voices didn't join in this 
time,, as she hadn't spoken, but, to her great 
surprise, they all thought in chorus (I hope you 

understand what thinking in chorus means 

for I must confess that / don't), " Better say 
nothing at all. Language is worth a thousand 
pounds a word ! " 

" I shall dream about a thousand pounds 
to-night, I know I shall ! " thought Alice. 

E 



50 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 




All this time the Guard was looking at her, 
first through a telescope, then through a micro- 
scope, and then through an opera-glass. At last 
he said, " You 're travelling the wrong way," and 
shut up the window and went away. 

" So young a child," said the gentleman sitting 
opposite to her, (he was dressed in white paper,) 
"ought to know which way she's going, even if 
she doesn't know her own name ! " 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 51 

A Goat, that was sitting next to the gentleman 
in white, shut his eyes and said in a loud voice, 
" She ought to know her way to the ticket-office, 
even if she doesn't know her alphabet ! " 

There was a Beetle sitting next the Goat (it 
was a very queer carriage-full of passengers 
altogether), and, as the rule seemed to be that 
they should all speak in turn, he went on with 
" She'll have to go back from here as luggage ! " 

Alice couldn't see who was sitting beyond 
the Beetle, but a hoarse voice spoke next. " Change 

engines " it said, and there it choked and 

was obliged to leave off. 

" It sounds like a horse," Alice thought to 
herself. And an extremely small voice, close to 

llGr Gcl/T^ SttlClj "You might make a joke on that something about 'horse' and 

'hoarse,' you know." 

Then a very gentle voice in the distance said, 
" She must be labelled ' Lass, with care/ you 
know " 

And after that other voices went on (" What 
a number of people there are in the carriage ! " 

E 2 



52 LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 

thought Alice), saying, " She must go by post, 

as she 's got a head on her " " She must 

be sent as a message by the telegraph " 

"She must draw the train herself the rest of 
the way- ," and so- on. 

Bat the gentleman dressed in white paper 
leaned forwards and whispered in her ear, 
"Never mind what they all say, my dear, but 
take a return-ticket every time the train stops." 

"Indeed I shan't!" Alice said rather impa- 
tiently. " I don't belong to this railway journey 

at all 1 was in a wood just now and I 

wish I could get back there ! " 

o 

"You might make a joke on thai," said the little voice close to 

iier ear . "something about 'you would if you could,' you know." 

" Don't tease so," said Alice, looking about in 
vain to see where the voice came from ; "if you're 
so anxious to have a joke made, why don't you 
make one yourself?" 

The little voice sighed deeply : it was very 
unhappy, evidently, and Alice would have said 
something pitying to comfort it, "if it would 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 53 

only sigh like other people ! " she thought. But 
this was such a wonderfully small sigh, that she 
wouldn't have heard it at all, if it hadn't come 
quite close to her ear. The consequence of this 
was that it tickled her ear very much, and quite 
took oif her thoughts from the unhappiness of 
the poor little creature. 

"I know you are a friend," the little VOiCC Wdlt On; "a, dear 
friend, and an old friend. And you won't hurt me, though I am an iuseet." 

" What kind of insect ? " Alice inquired a 
little anxiously. What she really wanted to 
know was, whether it could sting or not, but she 
thought this wouldn't be quite a civil question 
to ask. 

••mat, then you don't— - the little voice began, when it 
was drowned by a shrill scream from the engine, 
and everybody jumped up in alarm, Alice among 
the rest. 

The Horse, who had put his head out of 
the window, quietly drew it in and said, " It 's 
onl} 7 a brook we have to jump over." Every- 
body seemed satisfied with this, though -Alice 



54 LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 

felt a little nervous at the idea of trains jumping 
at all. "However, it'll take us into the Fourth 
Square, that's some comfort!" she said to her- 
self. In another moment she felt the carriage 
rise straight up into the air, and in her fright 
she caught at the thing nearest to her hand, 
which happened to be the Goat's beard. 



But the beard seemed to melt away as she 
touched it, and she found herself sitting quietly 
under a tree — —while the Gnat (for that was 
the insect she had been talking to) was 
balancing itself on a twig just over her head, 
and fanning her with its wings. 

It certainly was a very large Gnat : " about 
the size of a chicken," Alice thought. Still, she 
couldn't feel nervous with it, after they had been 
talking together so long. 

" then you don't like all insects ? " the 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 55 

Gnat went on, as quietly as if nothing had 
happened. 

" I like them when they can talk," Alice said. 
" None of them ever talk, where / come from." 

"What sort of insects do you rejoice in, 
where you come from ? " the Gnat inquired. 

" I don't rejoice in insects at all," Alice ex- 
plained, "because I'm rather afraid of them 

at least the large kinds. But I can tell you the 
names of some of them." 

"Of course they answer to their names? - " 
the Gnat remarked carelessly. 

" I never knew them do it." 

" What 's the use of their having names," the 
Gnat said, "if they won't answer to them?" 

"No use to them," said Alice ; "but it's useful 
to the people that name them, I suppose. If not, 
why do things have names at all ? " 

" I can't say," the Gnat replied. " Further on, 
in the wood down there, they've got no names 

however, go on with your list of insects : 

you 're wasting time." 



m 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 



"Well, there's the Horse-fly," Alice began, 
.counting off the names on her fingers. 

" All right," said the Gnat : " half way up, 
that bush, you'll see a Rocking-horse-fly, if you 
look. It's made entirely of wood, and gets about 
by swinonno; itself from branch to branch." 




" What does it live on ? " Alice asked, with 
great curiosity. 

"Sap and sawdust," said the Gnat. "Go on 
with the list." 

Alice looked at the Eocking-horse-fly with great 
interest, and made up her mind that it must have 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 



57 




been just repainted, it looked so bright and 
sticky ; and then she went on. 

"And there's the Dragon-fly." 

" Look on the branch above your head/' said 
the Gnat, " and there you '11 find a Snap-dragon- 
fly. Its body is made of plum-pudding, its wings 
of holly-leaves, and its head is a raisin burning 
in brandy." 

" And what does it live on ? " Alice asked, as 
before. 

" Frumenty and mince-pie," the Gnat replied ; 
"and it makes its nest in a Christmas-box." 



58 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 



" And then there 's the Butterfly," Alice went 
on, after she had taken a good look at the in- 
sect with its head on fire, and had thought to 
herself, " I wonder if that's the reason insects are 

so fond of flying into candles because they 

want to turn into Snap-dragon-flies ! " 

" Crawling at your feet," said the Gnat (Alice 
drew her feet back in some alarm), "you may 
observe a Bread-and-butter-fly. Its wings are 
thin slices of bread-and-butter, its body is a 
crust, and its head is a lump of sugar." 

" And what does it live on ? " 




LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 59 

"Weak tea with cream in it." 

A new difficulty came into Alice's head. "Sup- 
posing it couldn't find, any ? " she suggested. 

" Then it would die, of course." 

" But that must happen very often," Alice 
remarked thoughtfully. 

" It always happens," said the Gnat. 

After this, Alice was silent for a minute 
or two, pondering. The Gnat amused itself 
meanwhile by humming round and round her 
head : at last it settled again and remarked, " I 
suppose you don't want to lose your name 1 " 

"No, indeed," Alice said, a little anxiously. 

"And yet I don't know," the Gnat went on 
in a careless tone : " only think how convenient 
it would be if you could manage to go home 
without it ! For instance, if the governess wanted 
to call you to your lessons, she would call out 

'Come here / and there she would have to 

leave off, because there wouldn't be any name for 
her to call, and of course you wouldn't have to 
go, you know." 



60 LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 

" That would never do, I 'm sure/' said Alice : 
" the governess would never think of excusing me 
lessons for that. If she couldn't remember my 
name, she 'd call me ' Miss ! ' as the servants do." 

" Well, if she said ' Miss/ and didn't say 
anything more," the Gnat remarked, " of course 
you 'd miss your lessons. That 's a joke. I wish 
you had made it." 

" Why do you wish / had made it ? " Alice 
asked. "It's a very bad one." 

But the Gnat only sighed deeply, while two 
large tears came rolling down its cheeks. 

"You shouldn't make jokes," Alice said, "if 
it makes you so unhappy." 

Then came another of those melancholy little 
sighs, and this time the poor Gnat really seemed 
to have sighed itself away, for, when Alice looked 
up, there was nothing whatever to be seen on the 
twig, and, as she was getting quite chilly with 
sitting still so long, she got up and walked on. 

She very soon came to an open field, with a 
wood on the other side of it : it looked much 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 61 

darker than the last wood, and Alice felt a little 
timid about going into it. However, on second 
thoughts, she made up her mind to go on : "for 
I certainly won't go hack" she thought to herself, 
and this was the only way to the Eighth Square. 
"This must be the wood," she said thoughtfully 
to herself, " where things have no names. I wonder 
what '11 become of my name when I go in ? I 

/shouldn't like to lose it at all because they'd 

'have to give me another, and it would be almost 
certain to be an ugly one. But then the fun 
would be, trying to find the creature that had got 
my old name ! That's just like the advertise- 
ments, you know, when people lose dogs 

' answers to the name of " Dash : " had on a brass 

collar' just fancy calling everything you met 

'Alice/ till one of them answered! Only they 
wouldn't answer at all, if they were wise." 

She was rambling on in this way when she 
reached the wood : it looked very cool and shady. 
"Well, at any rate it's a great comfort," she said 
as she stepped under the trees, " after being so 



62 LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 

hot, to get into the into the into what f " 

she went on, rather surprised at not being able 
to think of the word. " I mean to get under the 

-under the- under this, you know ! " putting 

her hand on the trunk of the tree. "What does 
it call itself, I wonder ? I do believe it's got no 
name why, to be sure it hasn't ! " 

She stood silent for a minute, thinking : then 
she suddenly began again. "Then it really has 
happened, after all ! And now, who am I % I 
will remember, if I can! I'm determined to 
do it ! " But being determined didn't help her 
much, and all she could say, after a great deal of 
puzzling, w r as, " L, I know it begins with L ! " 

Just then a Fawn came wandering by : it 
looked at Alice with its large gentle eyes, but 
didn't seem at all frightened. " Here then ! Here 
then!" Alice said, as she held out her hand and 
tried to stroke it ; but it only started back a 
little, and then stood looking at her asjain. 

"What do you call yourself?" the Fawn said 
at last. Such a soft sweet voice it had ! 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 



53 



" I wish I knew ! " thought poor Alice. She 
answered, rather sadly, "Nothing, just now." 
"Think again," it said: "that won't do." 




Alice thought, but nothing came of it. " Please, 
would you tell me what you call yourself?" she 
said timidly. " I think that might help a little." 

" I '11 tell you, if you '11 come a little further 
on," the Fawn said. " I can't remember here." 



64 LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 

So they walked on together through the wood, 
Alice with her arms clasped lovingly round the 
soft neck of the Fawn, till they came out into 
another open field, and here the Fawn gave a 
sudden bound into the air, and shook itself free 
from Alice's arms. " I'm a Fawn ! " it cried out 
in a voice of delight, " and, dear me ! you 're a 
human child ! " A sudden look of alarm came 
into its beautiful brown eyes, and in another 
moment it had darted away at full speed. 

Alice stood looking after it, almost ready to 
cry with vexation at having lost her dear little 
fellow-traveller so suddenly. " However, I know 
my name now," she said, "that's some comfort. 

Alice Alice 1 won't forget it again. And 

now, which of these finger-posts ought I to 
follow, I wonder ? " 

It was not a very difficult question to answer, 
as there was only one road through the wood, 
and the two finger-posts both pointed along it. 
"I'll settle it," Alice said to herself, "when the 
road divides and they point different ways." 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 65 

But this did not seem likely to happen! She 
went on and on, a long way, but wherever the 
road divided there were sure to be two finger- 
posts pointing the same way, one marked 'TO 
TWEEDLEDUM'S HOUSE/ and the other 'TO 
THE HOUSE OF TWEEDLEDEE.' 

"I do believe," said Alice at last, "that they 
live in the same house ! I wonder I never thought 

of that before But I can't stay there long. 

I'll just call and say 'How d'ye do?' and ask 
them the way out of the wood. If I could 
only get to the Eighth Square before it gets 
dark ! " So she wandered on, talking to herself 
as she went, till, on turning a sharp corner, she 
came upon two fat little men, so suddenly that 
she could not help starting back, but in another 
moment she recovered herself, feeling sure that 
they must be 



CHAPTER IV. 

TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 

They were standing under a tree, each with 
an arm round the other's neck, and Alice knew 
which was which in a moment, because one of 
them had 'DUM ; embroidered on his collar, and 
the other ' DEE/ " I suppose they Ve each got 
'TWEEDLE' round at the back of the collar," 
she said to herself. 

They stood so still that she quite forgot they 
were alive, and she was just looking round to see 
if the word ' TWEEDLE ' was written at the back 
of each collar, when she was startled by a voice 
coming from the one marked 'DUM.' 



TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 



67 




" If you think we're wax-works," he said, "yon 
ought to pay, you know. Wax-works weren't 
made to be looked at for nothing. Nohow ! " 

" Contrariwise," added the one marked ' DEE/ 
"if you think we're alive, you ought to speak." 

"I'm sure I'm very sorry," was all Alice could 
say; for the words of the old song kept ringing 
through her head like the ticking of a clock, and 
she could hardly help saying them out loud : — 

F 2 



TWEEDLEDUM 

'■' Tweedledum and Tweedledee 
Agreed to have a battle; 
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee 
Had spoiled Ms nice new rattle. 



Just then flevj down a monstrous crow, 

As Mack as a tar-barrel; 
Which frightened both the heroes so, 

They quite forgot their quarrel." 



" I know what you 're thinking about," said 
Tweedledum : " but it isn't so, nohow." 

"Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it 
was so, it might be ; and if it were so, it would 
be ; but as it isn't, it ain't. That 's logic." 

" I was thinking," Alice said very politely, 
" which is the best way out of this wood : it's 
getting so dark. Would you tell me, please ? " 

But the fat little men only looked at each 
other and grinned. 

They looked so exactly like a couple of great 



AND TWEEDLEDEE. 63 

schoolboys, that Alice couldn't help pointing her 
finger at Tweedledum, and saying " First Boy 1 " 

"Nohow!" Tweedledum cried out briskly, 
and shut his mouth up again with a snap. 

" Next Boy ! " said Alice, passing on to 
Tweedledee, though she felt quite certain he 
would only shout out " Contrariwise ! " and so 
he did. 

" You 've begun wrong ! " cried Tweedledum. 
"The first thing in a visit is to say 'How d'ye 
do?' and shake hands!" And here the two 
brothers gave each other a hug, and then they 
held out the two hands that were free, to shake 
hands with her. 

Alice did not like shaking hands with either 
of them first, for fear of hurting the other one's 
feelings ; so, as the best way out of the difficulty, 
she took hold of both hands at once : the next 
moment they were dancing round in a ring. 
This seemed quite natural (she remembered after- 
wards), and she was not even surprised to hear 
music playing : it seemed to come from the tree 



70 TWEEDLEDUM 

under which they were dancing, and it was done 
(as well as she could make it out) by the branches 
nibbing one across the other, like fiddles and 
fiddle-sticks. 

"But it certainly was funny," (Alice said 
afterwards, when she was telling her sister the 
history of all this,) "to find myself singing 'Here 
we go round the mulberry bush.' I don't know 
when I began it, but somehow I felt as if I'd 
been singing it a long long time I " 

The other two dancers were fat, and very 
soon out of breath. " Four times round is enough 
for one dance," Tweedledum panted out, and they 
left off dancing as suddenly as they had begun : 
the music stopped at the same moment. 

Then they let go of Alice's hands, and stood 
looking at her for a minute : there was a rather 
awkward pause, as Alice didn't know how to 
begin a conversation with people she had just 
been dancing with. " It would never do to say 
'How d'ye do?' now," she said to herself: "we 
seem to have got beyond that, somehow ! " 



AND TWEEDLEDEE. 71 

" I hope you 're not much tired ? " she said 
at last. 

" Nohow. And thank you very much for 
asking," said Tweedledum. 

" So much obliged ! " added Tweedledee. " You 
like poetry 

" Ye-es, pretty well some poetry," Alice 

said doubtfully. " Would you tell me which road 
leads out of the wood ? " 

" What shall I repeat to her ? " said Tweedle- 
dee, looking round at Tweedledum with great 
solemn eyes, and not noticing Alice's question. 

" '' The Walrus and the Carpenter is the 
longest," Tweedledum replied, giving his brother 
an affectionate hug. 

Tweedledee began instantly : 

" The sun was shining " 



Here Alice ventured to interrupt him. " If 
it's very long," she said, as politely as she could, 
"would you please tell me first which road " 

Tweedledee smiled gently, and began again : 



72 TWEEDLEDUM 

" The sun was shining on the sea, 
Shining with all his might: 

He did his very best to make 

The billows smooth and bright — 

And this was odd, because it was 
The middle of the night. 



The moon was shining sulkily, 
Because she thought the sun 

Had got no business to be there 
After the day was done — 

' It 's very rude of him' she said, 
' To come and spoil the fun ! ' 



The sea was wet as wet could be, 

The sands were dry as dry. 
You could not see a cloud, because 

J\ r o cloud was in the sky: 
Xo birds were flying overhead — 
There were no birds to fly. 



AND TWEEDLEDEE. 



73 




The Walrus and the Carpenter 
Were walking close at hand ; 

They wept like anything to see 
Such quantities of sand : 

1 If this were only cleared a;way' 
Tliey said, ' it would be grand ! 



' If seven maids with seven mops 
Swept it for half a year, 

Do you suppose' the Walrus said,, 
' That they could get it clear 1 ' 



74 TWEEDLEDUM 

' I doubt it,' said the Carpenter, 
And shed a bitter tear. 



' Oysters, come and walk with us ! ' 

The Walrus did beseech. 
' A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk, 

A long the briny beach : 
We cannot do with more than four, 

To give a hand to each. 



The eldest Oyster looked at him, 
But never a word he said : 

The eldest Oyster winked his eye, 
And shook his heavy head — 

Meaning to say he did not choose 
To leave the oyster-bed. 



But four young Oysters hurried up, 

All eager for the treat: 
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed, 

Their shoes ivere clean and neat — 



AND TWEEDLEDEE. 75 

And this was odd, because, you know, 
They hadn't any feet. 



Four other Oysters followed them, 

And yet another four ; 
And thick and fast they came at last, 

And more, and more, and more — 
All hopping through the frothy 'leaves, 

And scrambling to the shore. 

The Walrus and the Carpenter 

Walked on a mile or so, 
And then they rested on a rock 

Conveniently low : 
And all the little Oysters stood 

And waited in a row. 



' The time has come', the Walrus said, 

' To talk of many things : 
Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax — 

Of cabbages — and kings — 



76 



TWEEDLEDUM 



And why the sea is boiling hot— 
And whether pigs have wings' 




'But wait a bit,' the Oysters cried, 
' Before we have our chat ; 

For some of us are out of breath, 
And all of us are fat !' 

' JS r o hurry ! ' said the Carpenter. 
They thanked him much for that. 



' A loaf of bread' the Walrus said, 
' Is what we chiefly need : 



AND TWEEDLEDEE. 77 

Pepper and vinegar besides 

Are very good indeed — 
Now if you We ready, Oysters dear, 

We can begin to feed! 



' But not on us ! ' the Oysters cried, 

Turning a little blue. 
After mck kindness, that would be 

A dismal thing to do ! ' 
' The night is fine,' the Walrus said. 

' Do you admire the view I 

* It was so hind of you to come ! 

And you are very nice ! ' 
The Carpenter said nothing but 

' C%d us another slice : 
I wish you vjere not quite so deaf — 

Tve had to ask you twice!'' 

'It seems a shame,' the Walrus said, 
' To play them such a trick, 



TWEEDLEDUM 

After we've brought them out so far, 
And made them trot so quick!' 

The Carpenter said nothing hit 
' The butter's spread too thick I ' 




' I weep for you' the Walrus said . 

' I deeply sympathize! 
With sobs and tears he sorted out 

Those of the largest size, 
Holding his pocket-handkerchief 

Before his streaming eyes. 



AND TWEEDLEDEE. 79 

' Oysters] said the Carpenter, 
' You 've had a pleasant run ! 

Shall we he trotting home again V 
But answer came there none — 

And this was scarcely odd, because 
They'd eaten every one" 

" I like the Walrus best/' said Alice : " because 
you see lie was a little sorry for the poor oysters." 

" He ate more thau the Carpenter, though," 
said Tweedledee. "You see he held his hand- 
kerchief in front, so that the Carpenter couldn't 
count how many he took : contrariwise." 

" That was mean ! " Alice said indignantly. 

" Then I like the Carpenter best if he didn't 

eat so many as the Walrus." 

" But he ate as many as he could get," said 
Tweedledum. 

This was a puzzler. After a pause, Alice 
began, " Well ! They were both very unpleasant 

characters " Here she checked herself in some 

alarm, at hearing something that sounded to 



80 



TWEEDLEDUM 



her like the puffing of a large steam-engine in 
the wood near them, though she feared it was 
more likely to be a wild beast. " Are there any 
lions or tigers about here ? " she asked timidly. 

"It's only the Eed King snoring," said 
Tweedledee. 

" Come and look at him ! " the brothers cried, 
and they each took one of Alice's hands, and led 
her up to where the King was sleeping. 







^&%%^™'wi&, 



: '%*%f^$M' 



" Isn't he a lovely sight \ " said Tweedledum. 
Alice couldn't say honestly that he was. He 
had a tall red night-cap on, with a tassel, and 



AND TWEEDLEDEE. 81 

he was lying crumpled up into a sort of untidy 

heap, and snoring loud " fit to snore his head 

off ! " as Tweedledum remarked. 

"I'm afraid he'll catch cold with lying on 
the damp grass," said Alice, who was a very . 
thoughtful little girl. 

" He 's dreaming now, " said Tweedledee : 
" and what do you think he 's dreaming 
about ? " 

Alice said " Nobody can guess that." 

"Why, about you!" Tweedledee exclaimed, 
clapping his hands triumphantly. " And if he 
left off dreaming about you, where do you sup- 
pose you 'd be ? " 

" Where I am now, of course," said Alice. 

" Not you ! " Tweedledee retorted contemptu- 
ously. "You'd be nowhere. Why, you're only a 
sort of thing in his dream ! " 

" If that there King was to wake," added 

Tweedledum, " you 'd go out bang ! just 

like a candle ! " 

" I shouldn't ! " Alice exclaimed indignantly, 
a 



82 TWEEDLEDUM 

" Besides, if I'm only a sort of thing in bis 
dream, what are you, I should like to know ? " 

"Ditto," said Tweedledum. 

"Ditto, ditto!" cried Tweedledee. 

He shouted this so loud that Alice couldn't 
help saying, " Hush ! You 11 be waking him, 
I 'm afraid, if you make so much noise." 

" Well, it 's no use your talking about waking 
him," said Tweedledum, " when you 're only one 
of the things in his dream. You know very well 
you 're not real." 

" I am real ! " said Alice, and began to cry. 

" You won't make yourself a bit realler by 
crying," Tweedledee remarked : " there 's nothing 
to cry about." 

" If I wasn't real," Alice said — half-laughing 
through her tears, it all seemed so ridiculous — 
" I shouldn't be able to cry." 

" I hope you don't suppose those are real 
tears ? " Tweedledum interrupted in a tone of 
great contempt. 

" I know they 're talking nonsense," Alice 



AND TWEEDLEDEE. 83 

thought to herself: "and it's foolish to cry 
about it." So she brushed away her tears, and 
went on as cheerfully as she could, " At any rate 
I'd better be getting out of the wood, for 
really it's coming on very dark. Do you think 
it 's going to rain ? " 

Tweedledum spread a large umbrella over 
himself and his brother, arid looked up into it. 

" No, I don't think it is," he said : "at least ■ 

not under here. Nohow." 

" But it may rain outside f " 

" It may if it chooses," said Tweedledee : 

" we 've no objection. Contrariwise." 

" Selfish things ! " thought Alice, and she was 
just going to say "Good-night" and leave them, 
when Tweedledum sprang out from under the 
umbrella, and seized her by the wrist. 

"Do you see that?" he said, in a voice 

choking with passion, and his eyes grew large 

and yellow all in a moment, as he pointed with 

a trembling finger at a small white thing lying 

under the tree. 

G2 



84 



TWEEDLEDUM 



" It 's only a rattle," Alice said, after a careful 
examinatic-D of the little white thing. " Not a 
xa,ttle-snake, you know/' she added hastily, think- 
ing that he was frightened : " only an old rattle 
quite old and broken." 




" I knew it was ! " cried Tweedledum, begin- 
ning to stamp about wildly and tear his hair. 
" It 's spoilt, of course ! " Here he looked at 
Tweedledee, who immediately sat down on the 
ground, and tried to hide himself under the 
umbrella. 



AND TWEEDLEDEE. 85 

Alice laid her hand upon his arm, and said 
in a soothing tone, " You needn't be so angry 
about an old rattle." 

" But it isn't old ! " Tweedledum cried, in a 

greater fury than ever. " It's new, I tell you 

I bought it yesterday my nice new BATTLE ! " 

and his voice rose to a perfect scream. 

All this time Tweedledee was trying his best 
to fold up the umbrella, with himself in it : which 
was such an extraordinary thing to do, that it 
quite took off Alice's attention from the angry 
brother. But he couldn't quite succeed, and it 
ended in his rolling over, bundled up in the 
umbrella, with only his head out : and there he 
lay, opening and shutting his mouth and his large 
eyes "looking more like a fish than any- 
thing else," Alice thought. 

" Of course you agree to have a battle ? M 
Tweedledum said in a calmer tone. 

" I suppose so," the other sulkily replied, as 
he crawled out of the umbrella : " only she must 
help us to dress up, you know." 



86 TWEEDLEDUM 

So the two brothers went off liancl-in-hand 
into the wood, and returned in a minute with 

their arms full of things such as bolsters, 

blankets, hearth-rugs, table-cloths, dish-covers, and 
coal-scuttles. " I hope you're a good hand at pin- 
ning and tying strings \ " Tweedledum remarked. 
" Every one of these things has got to go on, 
somehow or other." 

Alice said afterwards she had never seen such 

a fuss made about anything in all her life 

the way those two bustled about and the quan- 
tity of things they put on and the trouble 

they gave her in tying strings and fastening 

buttons "Really they'll be more like bundles 

of old clothes than anything else, by the time 
they're ready ! " she said to herself, as she arranged 
a bolster round the neck of Tweedledee, " to keep 
his head from being cut off," as he said. 

" You know," he added very gravely, " it 's 
one of the most serious things that can possibly 

happen to one in a battle to get one's head 

cut off." 



AND TWEEDLEDEE. 



87 



Alice laughed loud : but she managed to turn 
it into a cough, for fear of hurting his feelings. 




" Do I look very pale % " said Tweedledum, 
coming up to have his helmet tied on. (He 
called it a helmet, though it certainly looked 
much more like a saucepan.) 

" Well yes a little," Alice replied gently. 

" I 'm very brave generally," he went on in 
a low voice : " only to-day I happen to have 
a headache." 



88 TWEEDLEDUM 

" And i" 've got a toothache ! " said Tweedle- 
dee, who had overheard the remark. " I 'm far 
worse than you ! " 

" Then you'd better not fight to-day/' said 
Alice, thinking it a good opportunity to make 
peace. 

" We must have a bit of a fight, but I don't 
care about going on long," said Tweedledum. 
" What's the time now ? " 

Tweedledee looked at his watch, and said 
" Half-past four." 

" Let 's fight till six, and then have dinner," 
said Tweedledum. 

" Very well," the other said, rather sadly : 

" and she can watch us only you 'd better 

not come very close," he added : " I generally 

hit everything I can see when I get really 

axcited." 

" And i" hit every thing within reach/' cried 
Tweedledum, " whether I can see it or not ! " 

Alice laughed. "You must hit the trees 
pretty often, I should think," she said. 



AND TWEEDLEDEE. 89 

Tweedledum looked round him with a satisfied 
smile. " I don't suppose," he said, " there 11 be 
a tree left standing, for ever so far round, by 
the time we 'ye finished ! " 

" And all about a rattle ! " said Alice, still 
hoping to make them a little ashamed of fighting 
for such a trifle. 

" I shouldn't have minded it so much," said 
Tweedledum, " if it hadn't been a new one." 

" I wish the monstrous crow would come ! " 
thought Alice. 

" There's only one sword, you know," 
Tweedledum said to his brother : " but you can 

have the umbrella it's quite as sharp. Only 

we must begin quick. It's getting as dark as 
it can." 

" And darker," said Tweedledee. 

It was getting dark so suddenly that Alice 
thought there must be a thunderstorm coming 
on. " What a thick black cloud that is ! " she 
said. " And how fast it comes ! Why, I do 
believe it 's got wings ! " 



90 TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 

" It « the crow ! " Tweedledum cried out in 
a shrill voice of alarm : and the two brothers 
took to their heels and were out of sight in a 
moment. 

Alice ran a little way into the wood, and 
stopped under a large tree. " It can never get 
at me here," she thought : " it 's far too large to 
squeeze itself in among the trees. But I wish 

it wouldn't flap its wings so it makes quite 

a hurricane in the wood — —here's somebody's 
shawl being blown away ! " 



CHAPTER V. 



WOOL AND WATER. 



She caught the shawl as she sjDoke, and looked 
about for the owner : in another moment the 
White Queen came running wildly through the 
wood, with both arms stretched out wide, as if 
she were flying, and Alice very civilly went to 
meet her with the shawl. 

" I 'm very glad I happened to be in the 
way," Alice said, as she helped her to put on 
her shawl again. 

The White Queen only looked at her in a 
helpless frightened sort of way, and kept repeat- 
ing something in a whisper to herself that 



92 WOOL AND WATER. 

sounded like " Bread-and-butter, bread-and-butter," 
and Alice felt that if there was to be any con- 
versation at all, she must manage it herself. 
So she began rather timidly : " Am I addressing 
the White Queen ? " 

" Well, yes, if you call that a-dressing," the 
Queen said. " It isn't my notion of the thing, 
at all." 

Alice thought it would never do to have an 
argument at the very beginning of their con- 
versation, so she smiled and said, "If your 
Majesty will only tell me the right way to begin, 
111 do it as well as I can." 

" But I don't want it done at all ! " groaned 
the poor Queen. " I Ve been a-dressing myself 
for the last two hours." 

It would have been all the better, as it 
seemed to Alice, if she had got some one else to 
dress her, she was so dreadfully untidy. "Every 
single thing's crooked," Alice thought to herself, 

"and she's all over pins! May I put your 

shawl straight for you?" she added aloud. 



WOOL AND WATER. 



93 



" I don't know what 's the matter with it ! " 
the Queen said, in a melancholy voice. " It 's 
out of temper, 
I think. I 've 
pinned it here, 
and I Ve pin- 
ned it there, 
but there 's no. 
pleasing it ! " 

" It cant go 
straight, you 
know, if you 
pin it all on 
one side," Alice 
said, as she 
gently put it 
right for her ; 
your hair is in \" 

" The brush has got entangled in it ! " 
the Queen said with a sigh. "And I lost the 
comb yesterday." 

Alice carefully released the brush, and did 




^$&&~%%&. 



" and, dear me, what a state 



94 WOOL AND WATER. 

her best to get the hair into order. " Come, 
you look rather better now ! " she said, after 
altering most of the pins. " But really you 
should have a lady's-maid ! " 

" I 'm sure I '11 take you with pleasure ! " the 
Queen said. " Twopence a week, and jam every 
other day." 

Alice couldn't help laughing, as she said, " I 

don't want you to hire me and I don't care 

for jam." 

"It's very good jam," said the Queen. 

" Well, I don't want any to-day, at any rate." 

" You couldn't have it if you did want it," 
the Queen said. "The rule is, jam to-morrow 
and jam yesterday but never jam to-day." 

"It must come sometimes to 'jam to-day," ; 
Alice objected. 

"No, it can't," said the Queen. "It's jam 
every other day : to-day isn't any other day, 
you know." 

" I don't understand you," said Alice. " It 's 
dreadfully confusing ! " 



WOOL AND WATER. 95 

" That 's the effect of living backwards," the 
Queen said kindly : "it always makes one a 
little giddy at first 

" Living backwards ! " Alice repeated in great 
astonishment. " I never heard of such a thing; ! " 

" but there's one great advantage in it, 

that one's memory works both ways." 

"I'm sure .mine only works one way," Alice 
remarked. " I can't remember things before 
they happen," 

"It's a poor sort of memory that only works 
backwards," the Queen remarked. 

u What sort of things do you remember best ? " 
Alice ventured to ask. 

" Oh, things that happened the week after 
next," the Queen replied in a careless tone. 
" For instance, now," she went on, sticking a 
large piece of plaster on her finger as she 
spoke, "there's, the King's Messenger. He's in 
prison now, being punished : and the trial 
doesn't even begin till next Wednesday : and of 
course the crime comes last of all." 



96 



WOOL AND WATER. 



" Suppose he never 
commits the crime ? " 
said Alice. 

" That would be all 
the better, wouldn't 
it ? " the Queen said, 
as she bound the plas- 
ter round her finger 
with a bit of ribbon. 

Alice felt there 
was no denying that. 
" Of course it would ^^t&rs&smp 

be all the better," she said: "but it wouldn't 
be all the better his being punished." 

" You 're wrong there, at any rate," said the 
Queen : " were you ever punished ? " 

" Only for faults," said Alice. 

" And you were all the better for it, I know ! " 
the Queen said triumphantly. 

" Yes, but then I had done the things I was 
punished for," said Alice : " that makes all the 
difference." 




WOOL AND WATER. 97 

" But if you hadn't done them," the Queen 
said, " that would have been better still ; better, 
and better, and better ! " Her voice went higher 
with each " better," till it got quite to a squeak 
at last. 

Alice was just beginning to say " There 's a 

mistake somewhere ," wdien the Queen began 

screaming, so loud that she had to leave the 
sentence unfinished. " Oh, oh, oh ! " shouted the 
Queen, shaking her hand about as if she wanted 
to shake it off. . " My finger 's bleeding ! Oh, 
oh, oh, oh ! " 

Her screams were so exactly like the whistle 
of a steam-engine, that Alice had to hold both 
her hands over her ears. 

" What is the matter ? " she said, as soon as 
there was a chance of making herself heard. 
" Have you pricked your finger ? " 

" I haven't pricked it yet" the Queen said, 
" but I soon shall oh, oh, oh 1 " 

" When do you expect to do it ? " Alice asked, 
feeling very much inclined to laugh. 

H 



S8 WOOL AND WATER. 

" When I fasten my shawl again," the poor 
Queen groaned out : " the brooch will come un- 
done directly. Oh, oh ! " As she said the words 
the brooch flew open, and the Queen clutched 
wildly at it, and tried to clasp it again. 

" Take care ! " cried Alice. " You 're holding 
it all crooked ! " And she caught at the brooch ; 
but it was too late : the pin had slipped, and the 
Queen had pricked her finger. 

" That accounts for the bleeding, you see," 
she said to Alice with a smile. "Now you under- 
stand the way things happen here." 

" But why don't you scream now ? " Alice 
asked, holding her hands ready to put over her 
ears again. 

"Why, I've done all the screaming already," 
said the Queen. " What would be the good of 
having it all over again?" 

By this time it was getting light. " The crow 
must have flown away, I think," said Alice : 
"I'm so glad it's gone. I thought it was the 
night coming on." 



WOOL AND WATER. 99 

" I wish / could manage to be glad ! " the 
Queen said. " Only I never can remember the 
rule. You must be very happy, living in this 
wood, and being glad whenever you like ! " 

" Only it is so very lonely here ! "■ Alice said 
in a melancholy voice ; and at the thought of 
her loneliness two large tears came rolling down 
her cheeks. 

" Oh, don't go on like that ! " cried the 
poor Queen, wringing her hands in despair. 
" Consider what a great girl you are. Consider 
what a long way you've come to-day. Con- 
sider what o'clock it is. Consider anything, 
only don't cry ! " 

Alice could not help laughing at this, even 
in the midst of her tears. " Can you keep from 
crying by considering things ? " she asked. 

"That's the way it's done," the Queen 
said with great decision : " nobody can do two 
things at once, you know. Let's consider your 
age to begin with how old are you ? " 

" I 'm seven and a half exactly." 
H 2 



100 WOOL AND WATER. 

" You needn't say ' exactually,' " the Queen 
remarked : "I can believe it without that. Now 
111 give you something to believe. I'm just 
one hundred and one, five months and a day." 

" I can't believe that ! " said Alice. 

" Can't you ? " the Queen said in a pitying 
tone. " Try again : draw a long breath, and 
shut your eyes." 

Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she 
said : " one cant believe impossible things." 

" I daresay you haven't had much practice," 
said the Queen. " When I was your age, I 
always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, 
sometimes I've believed as many as six im- 
possible things before breakfast. There goes 
the shawl again ! " 

The brooch had come undone as she spoke, 
and a sudden gust of wind blew the Queen's 
shawl across a little brook. The Queen spread 
out her arms again, and went flying after it, and 
this time she succeeded in catching it for herself. 
"I've got it!" she cried in a triumphant tone. 



WOOL AND WATER. 101 

" Now you shall see me pin it on again, all 
by myself ! " 

" Then I hope your finger is better now ? " 
Alice said very politely, as she crossed the little 
brook after the Queen. 



" Oh, much better ! " cried the Queen, her voice 
rising into a squeak as she went on. "Much 
be-etter! Be-etter ! Be-e-e-etter ! Be-e-ehh ! " The 
last word ended in a long bleat, so like a sheep 
that Alice quite started. 

She looked at the Queen, who seemed to 
have suddenly wrapped herself up in wool. Alice 
rubbed her eyes, and looked again. She couldn't 
make out what had happened at all. Was she 

in a shop ? And was that really was it really 

a sheep that was sitting on the other side of the 
counter ? Rub as she would, she could make 
nothing more of it : she was in a little dark 



102 



WOOL AND WAT EH. 




shop, leaning with her elbows on the counter, 
and opposite to her was an old Sheep, sitting in 
an arm-chair knitting, and every now and then 
leaving off to look at her through a great pair 
of spectacles. 

" What is it you want to buy V* the Sheep 



WOOL AND WATER. 103 

said at last, looking up for a moment from her 
knitting. 

" I don't quite know yet," Alice said very 
gently. "I should like to look all round me 
first, if I might." 

" You may look in front of you, and on both 
sides, if you like," said the Sheep ; " but you 

can't look all round you unless you've got 

eyes at the back of your head." 

But these, as it happened, Alice had not got : 
so she contented herself with turning round, 
looking at the shelves as she came to them. 

The shop seemed to be full of all manner 

of curious things but the oddest part of it 

all was, that whenever she looked hard at any 
shelf, to make out exactly what it had on it, 
that particular shelf was always quite empty : 
though the others round it were crowded as full 
as they could hold. 

" Things flow about so here ! " she said at 
last in a plaintive tone, after she had spent a 
minute or so in vainly pursuing a large bright 



04 WOOL AND WATEK. 

thing, that looked sometimes like a doll and 
sometimes like a work-box, and was always in 
the shelf next above the one she was looking at. 

" And this one is the most provoking of all 

but I'll tell you what " she added, as a 

sudden thought struck her, " 1 11 follow it up 
to the very top shelf of all. It'll puzzle it to 
go through the ceiling, I expect ! " 

But even this plan failed : the ' thing ' went 
through the ceiling as quietly as possible, as if 
it were quite used to it. 

"Are you a child or a teetotum?" the Sheep 
said, as she took up another pair of needles. 
" You 11 make me giddy soon, if you go on 
turning round like that." She was now working 
with fourteen pairs at once, and Alice couldn't 
help looking at her in great astonishment. 

" How can she knit with so many ? " the 
puzzled child thought to herself. " She gets 
more and more like a porcupine every minute ! " 

" Can you row % " the Sheep asked, handing 
her a pair of knitting-needles as she spoke. 



WOOL AND WATER. 105 

" Yes, a little but not on land and 

not with needles " Alice was beginning to 

say, when suddenly the needles turned into oars 
in her hands, and she found they were in a 
little boat, gliding along between banks : so 
there was nothing for it but to do her best. 

" Feather ! " cried the Sheep, as she took up 
another pair of needles. 

This didn't sound like a remark that needed 
any answer, so Alice said nothing, but pulled 
away. There was something very queer about 
the water, she thought, as every now and then 
the oars got fast in it, and would hardly come 
out again. 

" Feather ! Feather ! " the Sheep cried again, 
taking more needles. "You'll be catching a 
crab directly." 

" A dear little crab ! " thought Alice. " I 
should like that." 

"Didn't you hear me say 'Feather'?" the 
Sheep cried angrily, taking up quite a bunch 
of needles. 



106 WOOL AND WATER. 

" Indeed I did," said Alice : " you Ve said 

it very often and very loud. Please, where 

are the crabs ? " 

" In the water, of course ! " said the Sheep, 
sticking some of the needles into her hair, as 
her hands were full. " Feather, I say ! "■ 

" Why do you say ' Feather ' so often ? " Alice 
asked at last, rather vexed. "I'm not a bird!" 

" You are," said the Sheep : " you 're a little 
goose." 

This offended Alice a little, so there was no 
more conversation for a minute or two, while 
the boat glided gently on, sometimes among 
beds of weeds (which made the oars stick fast 
in the water, worse than ever), and sometimes 
under trees, but always with the same tall 
river-banks frowning over their heads. 

" Oh, please ! There are some scented rushes ! " 
Alice cried in a sudden transport of delight. 
" There really are and such beauties ! " 

" You needn't say ' please ' to me about 'em," 
the Sheep said, without looking up from her 



WOOL AND WATER. 107 

knitting : " I didn't put 'em there, and I 'm not 
going to take 'em away." 

"No, but I meant- please, may we wait 

and pick some ? " Alice pleaded. " If you don't 
mind stopping the boat for a minute." 

" How am / to stop it ? " said the Sheep. 
" If you leave off rowing, it '11 stop of itself." 

So the boat was left to drift down the stream 
as it would, till it glided gently in among the 
waving rushes. And then the little sleeves were 
carefully rolled up, and the little arms were 
plunged in elbow-deep, to get hold of the rushes 
a good long way down before breaking them 

off and for a while Alice forgot all about 

the Sheep and the knitting, as she beut over the 
side of the boat, with just the ends of her 

tangled hair dipping into the water while 

with bright eager eyes she caught at one bunch 
after another of the darling scented rushes. 

" I only hope the boat won't tipple over ! " 
she said to herself. " Oh, what a lovely one ! 
Only I couldn't quite reach it." And it cer- 



108 WOOL AND WATER. 

tainly did seem a little provoking (" almost as 
if it happened on purpose," slie thought) that, 
though she managed to pick plenty of beautiful 
rushes as the boat glided by, there was always 
a more lovely one that she couldn't reach. 

" The prettiest are always further ! " she 
said at last, with a sigh at the obstinacy 
of the rushes in growing so far off, as, with 
flushed cheeks and dripping hair and hands, 
she scrambled back into her place, and began 
to arrange her new-found treasures. 

What mattered it to her just then that 
the rushes had begun to fade, and to lose all 
their scent and beauty, from the very moment 
that she picked them ? Even real scented rushes, 

you know, last only a very little while and 

these, being dream-rushes, melted away almost 

like snow, as they lay in heaps at her feet ■ 

but Alice hardly noticed this, there were so many 
other curious things to think about. 

They hadn't gone much farther before the 
blade of one of the oars got fast in the water 



WOOL AND WATER. 109 

and wouldn't come out again (so Alice explained 
it afterwards), and the consequence was that 
the handle of it caught her under the chin, and, 
in spite of a series of little shrieks of ' Oh, oh, 
oh ! ' from poor Alice, it swept her straight off 
the seat, and down among the heap of rushes. 

However, she wasn't a bit hurt, and was soon 
up again : the Sheep went on with her knitting 
all the while, just as if nothing had happened! 
" That was a nice crab you caught ! " she re- 
marked, as Alice got back into her place, very much 
relieved to find herself still in the boat. 

" Was it ? I didn't see it," said Alice, peeping 
cautiously over the side of the boat into the 

dark water. " I wish it hadn't let go 1 

should so like a little crab to take home with 
me ! " But the Sheep only laughed scornfully, 
and went on with her knitting. 

" Are there many crabs here ? " said Alice. 

" Crabs, and all sorts of things," said the 
Sheep : " plenty of choice, only make up your 
mind. Now, what do you want to buy ? " 



110 



WOOL AND WATER. 




" To buy ! " Alice echoed in a tone that was 

half astonished and half frightened for the 

oars, and the boat, and the river, had vanished 



WOOL AND WATER. Ill 

all in a moment, and she was back again in 
the little dark shop. 

" I should like to buy an egg, please," she 
said timidly. " How do you sell them ? " 

" Fivepence farthing for one- twopence for 

two," the Sheep replied. 

" Then two are cheaper than one \ " Alice 
said in a surprised tone, taking out her purse. 

" Only you must eat them both, if you buy 
two," said the Sheep. 

" Then I '11 have one, please," said Alice, as 
she put the money down on the counter. For 
she thought to herself, " They mightn't be at 
all nice, you know." 

The Sheep took the money, and put it away 
in a box : then she said " I never put things 

into people's hands that would never do 

you must get it for }^ourself." And so saying, 
she went off to the other end of the shop, and 
set the egg upright on a shelf. 

" I wonder why it wouldn't do ? " thought 
Alice, as she groped her way among the tables 



112 WOOL AND WATER. 

and chairs, for the shop was very dark towards 
the end. " The egg seems to get further away 
the more I walk towards it. Let me see, is this 
a chair ? Why, it 's got branches, I declare ! 
How very odd to find trees growing here ! 
And actually here 's a little brook ! Well, this 
is the very queerest shop I ever saw ! " 



So she went on, wondering more and more 
at every step, as everything turned into a tree 
the moment she came up to it, and she quite 
expected the egg to do the same. 



CHAPTER VI. 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 



However, the egg only got larger and larger, 
and more and more human : when she had come 
within a few yards of it, she saw that it had 
eyes and a nose and mouth ; and when she 
had come close to it, she saw clearly that it 
was HUMPTY DUMPTY himself. " It can't be 
anybody else ! " she said to herself. " J 'm as 
certain of it, as if his name were written all 
over his face " 

It might have been written a hundred times, 
easily, on that enormous face. Humpty Dumpty 
was sitting with his legs crossed, like a Turk, 

i 



114 HUMPTY DUMPTY. 

on the top of a high, wall — —such a narrow one 
that Alice quite wondered how he could keep 
his balance and, as his eyes were steadily- 
fixed in the opposite direction, and he didn't 
take the least notice of her, she thought he 
must be a stuffed figure after all. 

" And how exactly like an egg he is ! " she 
said aloud, standing with her hands ready to 
catch him, for she was every moment expecting 
him to fall. 

"It's very provoking," Humpty Dumpty said 
after a long silence, looking away from Alice as 
he spoke, "to be called an egg very ! " 

" I said you looked like an egg, Sir," Alice 
gently explained. "And some eggs are very 
pretty, you know," she added, hoping to turn 
her remark into a sort; of compliment. 

" Some people," said Humpty Dumpty, look- 
ing away from her as usual, " have no more 
sense than a baby ! " 

Alice didn't know what to say to this : it 
wasn't at all like conversation, she thought, as 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 115 

he never said anything to her; in fact, his last 

remark was evidently addressed to a tree so 

she stood and softly repeated to herself: — 

" Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall: 
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. 
All the Kings horses and all the King's men 
Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty in his place again." 

"That last line is much too long for the 
poetry," she added, almost out loud, forgetting 
that Humpty Dumpty would hear her. 

" Don't stand chattering to yourself like that," 
Humpty Dumpty said, looking at her for the 
first time, " but tell me your name and your 
business." 

" My name is Alice, but " 

" It 's a stupid name enough ! " Humpty 
Dumpty interrupted impatiently. " What does 
it mean?" 

"Must a name mean something?" Alice 
asked doubtfully. 

i 2 



116 HUMPTY DUMPTY. 

" Of course it must," Humpty Dumpty said 
with a short laugh: "my name means the shape 

I am and a good handsome shape it is, too. 

With a name like yours, you might be any 
shape, almost." 

" Why do you sit out here all alone ? " said 
Alice, not wishing to begin an argument. 

" Why, because there 's nobody with me ! " 
cried Humpty Dumpty. " Did you think I didn't 
know the answer to that ? Ask another/' 

"Don't you think you'd be safer down on 
the ground ? " Alice went on, not with any 
idea of making another riddle, but simply in 
her good-natured anxiety for the queer creature. 
" That wall is so very narrow ! " 

" What tremendously easy riddles you ask ! " 
Humpty Dumpty growled out. " Of course I 

don't think so ! Why, if ever I did fall off 

which there 's no chance of but if I did ' 

Here he pursed up his lips, and looked so solemn 
and grand that Alice could hardly help laughing. 
" If I did fall," he went on, " the King has 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 117 

promised me ah, you may turn pale, if you 

like! You didn't think I was going to say 

that, did you? The King has promised me 

with his very own mouth to to " 

"To send all his horses and all his men," 
Alice interrupted, rather unwisely. 

"Now I declare that's too bad!" Hompty 
Dumpty cried, breaking into a sudden passion. 

"You've been listening at doors and behind 

trees and down chimneys or you couldn't 

have known it ! " 

"I haven't, indeed!" Alice said very gently. 
"It's in a book." 

" Ah, well ! They may write such things in 
a hook" Humpty Dumpty said in a calmer tone. 
"That's what you call a History of England, 
that is. Now, take a good look at me ! I 'ra 
one that has spoken to a King, I am : mayhap 
you'll never see such another: and to show 
you I 'm not proud, you may shake hands with 
me ! " And he grinned almost from ear to ear, 
as he leant forwards (and as nearly as possible 



118 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 




fell off the wall in doing 

so) and offered Alice his 

hand. She watched him 

a little anxiously as she 

f he smiled 

much more, the ends of 

~f. his mouth mio;ht meet 

behind," she thought : 

" and then I don't know what would happen 

to his head ! I 'm afraid it would come off ! " 

" Yes, all his horses and all his men," Humpty 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 119 

Dumpty went on. "They'd pick me up again 
in a minute, they would ! However, this con- 
versation is going on a little too fast : let 's go 
back to the last remark but one." 

" I 'm afraid I can't quite remember it," Alice 
said very politely. 

" In that case we start fresh," said Humpty 
Dumpty, "and it's my turn to choose a sub- 
ject " (-" He talks about it just as if it was 

a game ! " thought Alice.) " So here 's a question 
for you. How old did you say you were ? " 

Alice made a short calculation, and said 
" Seven years and six months." 

" Wrong ! " Humpty Dumpty exclaimed tri- 
umphantly. " You never said a word like it ! " 

" I thought you meant ' How old are you V 
Alice explained. 

"If I 'd meant that, I 'd have said it," said 
Humpty Dumpty. 

Alice didn't want to begin another argu- 
ment, so she said nothing. 

" Seven years and six months ! " Humpty 



120 HUMPTY DUMPTY. 

Dumpty repeated thoughtfully. "An uncom- 
fortable sort of age. Now if you 'd asked my 

advice, I'd have said 'Leave off at seven' 

but it's too late now." 

" I never ask advice about growing," Alice 
said indignantly. 

" Too proud ? " the other enquired. 

Alice felt even more indignant at this sug- 
gestion. " I mean," she said, " that one can't 
help growing older." 

" One can't, perhaps," said Humpty Dumpty, 
" but two can. With proper assistance, you might 
have left off at seven." 

" What a beautiful belt you Ve got on ! " 
Alice suddenly remarked. (They had had quite 
enough of the subject of age, she thought : and 
if they really were to take turns in choosing 
subjects, it was her turn now.) " At least," 
she corrected herself on second thoughts, " a 

beautiful cravat, I should have said no, a 

belt, I mean 1 beg your pardon!" she added 

in dismay, for Humpty Dumpty looked thoroughly 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 121 

offended, and she began to wish she hadn't 
chosen that subject. " If only I knew," she 
thought to herself, " which was neck and which 
was waist ! " 

Evidently Humpty Dumpty was very angry, 
though he said nothing for a minute or two. 
When he did speak again, it was in a deep 
growl. 

" It is a most provoking — —thing," 

he said at last, " when a person doesn't know 
a cravat from a belt ! " 

" I know it 's very ignorant of me," Alice 
said, in so humble a tone that Humpty Dumpty 
relented. 

" It 's a cravat, child, and a beautiful one, as 
you say. It's a present from the White King 
and Queen. There now ! " 

" Is it really ? " said Alice, quite pleased to 
find that she had chosen a good subject, after 
all. 

" They gave it me," Humpty Dumpty con- 
tinued thoughtfully, as he crossed one knee over 



122 HUMPTY DUMPTY. 

the other and clasped his hands round it, "they 
gave it me for an un-birthday present." 

" I beg your pardon ? " Alice said with a 
puzzled air. 

" I 'ru not offended," said Humpty Dumpty. 

" I mean, what is an un-birthday present ? " 

" A present given when it isn't your birthday, 
of course." 

Alice considered a little. " I like birthday 
presents best," she said at last. 

" You don't know what you 're talking 
about ! " cried Humpty Dumpty. " How many 
days are there in a year ? " 

" Three hundred and sixty-five," said Alice. 

" And how many birthdays have you ? " 

" One." 

" And if you take one from three hundred 
and sixty-five, what remains ? " 

" Three hundred and sixty-four, of course." 

Humpty Dumpty looked doubtful. " I 'd rather 
see that done on paper," he said. 

Alice couldn't help smiling as she took out 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 123 

her memorandum-book, and worked the sum 

for him : 

365 
1 



364 



Humpty Dumpty took the book, and looked at 

it carefully. "That seems to be done right " 

he began. 

" You '"re holding it upside down ! " Alice 
interrupted. 

"To be sure I was ! " Humpty Dumpty 
said gaily, as she turned it round for him. " I 
thought it looked a little queer. As I was saying, 

that seems to be done right though I haven't 

time to look it over thoroughly just now 

and that shows that there are three hundred 
and sixty-four days when you might get un- 
birthday presents " 

" Certainly," said Alice. 

" And only one for birthday presents, you 
know. There's glory for you ! " 



124 HUMPTY DUMPTY. 

1 " I don't know what you mean by ' glory,' ' ; 
Alice said. 

Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. " Of 

course you don't till I tell you. I meant 

' there 's a nice knock-down argument for you ! ' 

"But 'glory' doesn't mean 'a nice knock- 
down argument/ " Alice objected. 

" When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty 
said in rather a scornful tone, "it means just 

what I choose it to mean neither more 

nor less." 

" The question is," said Alice, " whether you 
can make words mean so many different things." 

" The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, 
"which is to be master that's all." 

Alice was too much puzzled to say anything, 
so after a minute Humpty Dumpty began 

again. "They've a temper, some of them 

particularly verbs , they're the proudest adjec- 
tives you can do anything with, but not verbs 

however, I can manage the whole lot of 

them ! Impenetrability ! That 's what / say ! " 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 125 

" Would you tell me, please," said Alice, 
" what that means ? " 

" Now you talk like a reasonable child," said 
Humpty Dumpty, looking very much pleased. 
" I meant by ' impenetrability ' that we Ve had 
enough of that subject, and it would be just as 
well if you 'd mention what you mean to do 
next, as I suppose you don't mean to stop here 
all the rest of your life." 

" That 's a great deal to make one word 
mean," Alice said in a thoughtful tone. 

" When I make a word do a lot of work 
like that," said Humpty Dumpty, " I always pay 
it extra." 

" Oh ! " said Alice. She was too much 
puzzled to make auy other remark. 

" Ah, you should see 'em come round me of 
a Saturday night," Humpty Dumpty went on, 
wagging his head gravely from side to side : 
"for to get their wages, you know." 

(Alice didn't venture to ask what he paid 
them with ; and so you see I can't tell you.) 



126 HUMPTY DUMPTY. 

"You seem very clever at explaining words, 
Sir/' said Alice. " Would you kindly tell me the 
meaning of the poem called ' Jabberwocky ' V 

" Let 's hear it," said Humpty Dumpty. w I 
can explain all the poems that ever were in- 
vented and a good many that haven't been 

invented just yet." 

This sounded very hopeful, so Alice repeated 
the first verse : 

" ' Twas brillig, and the slithy toves 

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe : 
All mimsy were the borogoves, 

And the mome raths outgrabe" 

"That's enough to begin with," Humpty 
Dumpty interrupted : " there are plenty of hard 
words there. ' Brillig ' means four o'clock in the 

afternoon the time when you begin broiling 

things for dinner." 

"That'll do very well," said Alice: "and 
> slithy 'V 

" Well, ' slithy ' means ' lithe and slimy/ 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 127 




* Lithe ' is the same as - active/ You see it 's 

like a portmanteau there are two meanings 

packed up into one word." 



128 HUMPTY DUMPTY. 

" I see it now," Alice remarked thoughtfully : 
"and what are 'toves'l" 

" Well, ' toves ' are something like badgers 

they're something like lizards and they're 

something like corkscrews." 

" They must be very curious-looking creatures." 

" They are that," said Humpty Dumpty : 

" also they make their nests under sun-dials 

also they live on cheese." 

" And what 's to ' gyre ' and to ' gimble ' 1 " 

"To ' gyre ' is to go round and round like 
a gyroscope. To ' gimble' is to make holes like 
a gimblet." 

" And ' the ivabe ' is the grass-plot round a 
sun-dial, I suppose 1 " said Alice, surprised at 
her own ingenuity. 

"Of course it is. It's called ' wabe,' you 
know, because it goes a long way before it, 
and a long way behind it " 

" And a long way beyond it on each side," 
Alice added. 

" Exactly so. Well then, ' mimsy ' is ' flimsy 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 129 

and miserable ' (there 's another portmanteau for 
you). And a ' borogove ' is a thin shabby-looking 

bird with its feathers sticking out all round 

something like a live mop." 

" And then ' mome ratlis ' ? " said Alice. 
" I 'm afraid I 'm giving you a great deal of 
trouble." 

" Well, a ' rath ' is a sort of green pig : but 
'mome' I'm not certain about. I think it's 

short for ' from home '- meaning that they 'd 

lost their way, you know." 

"And what does ' outgrabe' mean?" 
" Well, ' outgribing ' is something between 
bellowing and whistling, with a kind of sneeze 
in the middle : however, you '11 hear it done, 

maybe down in the wood yonder and 

when you Ve once heard it you '11 be quite 
content. Who s been repeating all that hard 
stuff to you ? " ■ 

" I read it in a book," said Alice. " But 
I had some poetry repeated to me, much easier 
than that, by Tweedledee, T think it was." 

K 



130 HUMPTY DUMPTY. 

" As to poetry, you know/' said Humpty 
Dumpty, stretching out one of his great hands, 
"I can repeat poetry as well as other folk, if it 
comes to that " 

" Oh, it needn't come to that ! " Alice hastily 
said, hoping to keep him from beginning. 

" The piece I 'm going to repeat/' he went 
on without noticing her remark, " was written 
entirely for your amusement." 

Alice felt that in that case she really ought 
to listen to it, so she sat down, and said " Thank 
you" rather sadly. 

" In winter, when the fields are while, 
I sing this song for your delight— 

only I don't sing it," he added, as an ex- 
planation. 

" I see you don't," said Alice. 

"If you can see whether I'm singing or not, 
you've sharper eyes than most," Humpty 
Dumpty remarked severely. Alice was silent. 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 131 

" In spring, when ivoods are getting green, 
I HI try and tell you what I mean." 

"Thank you" very much/' said Alice. 

" In swmrner, when the days are long, 
Perhaps you'll understand the song: 

In autumn, when the leaves are or own, 
Take pen and ink, and write it down." 

" I will, if I can remember it so long," said 
Alice. 

" You needn't &o on making remarks like 
that," Humpty Dumpty said : " they 're not 
sensible, and they put me out." 

" I sent a message to the fish ; 
I told them ' This is what I wish' 

The Utile fishes of the sea, 
They sent an answer hack to me. 
K2 



132 HUMPTY DUMPTY. 

The little fishes' answer was 
' We cannot do it, Sir, because- 



" I 'm afraid I don't quite understand," said 
Alice. 

" It gets easier further on," Humpty Dumpty 
replied. 

"I sent to them again to say 
'It will be better to obey! 

The fishes answered with a grin, 
' Why, what a temper you are in ! ' 

/ told them once, I told them twice: 
They would not listen to advice. 

I took a kettle large and new, 
Fit for the deed I had to do. 

My heart %vent hop, my heart went thump ; 
I filled the kettle at the pump. 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 

Then some, one came to me and said, 
' The little fishes are in bed.' 



133 




/ said to him, I said it plain, 

' Then you must wake them up again.' 



I said it very loud and clear ; 
I went and shouted in his earl 



134 HUMPTY DUMPTY. 

Humpty Dumpty raised his voice almost to 

a scream as he repeated this verse, and Alice 

thought with a shudder, " I wouldn't have been 
the messenger for anything ! " 



" But he 'was very stiff and proud ; 
He said ' You needn't shout so loud ! ' 

And he was very proud and stiff; 
He said ' I'd go and wake them, if — 



i" took a corkscrew from the shelf: 
I ■went to wake them up myself 

And when I found the door was locked, 

I pulled and pushed and kicked and knocked. 

And when I found the door ivas shut, 
I tried to turn the handle, but " 

There was a long pause. 

" Is that all ? " Alice timidly asked. 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 135 

" That's all," said Humpty Dumpty. " Good- 
bye." 

This was rather sudden, Alice thought : but, 
after such a very strong hint that she ought to 
be going, she felt that it would hardly be civil 
to stay. So she got up, and held out her hand. 
" Good-bye, till we meet again ! " she said as 
cheerfully as she could. 

" I shouldn't know you again if we did 
meet," Humpty Dumpty replied in a discontented 
tone, giving her one of his fingers to shake ; 
"you're so exactly like other people." 

" The face is what one goes by, generally," 
Alice remarked in a thoughtful tone. 

" That 's just what I complain of," said Humpty 
Dumpty. " Your nice is the same as everybody 

has the two eyes, so " (marking their 

places in the air with his thumb) " nose in the 
middle, mouth under. It's always the same 
Now if you had the two eyes on the same side 

of the nose, for instance or the mouth at 

the top that would be some help." 



136 HUMPTY DUMPTY. . 

"It wouldn't look nice," Alice objected. But 
Humpty Dumpty only shut his eyes and said 
"Wait till you Ve tried." 

Alice waited a minute to see if he would 
speak again, but as he never opened his eyes 
or took any further notice of her, she said 
" Good-bye ! " once more, and, getting no answer 
to this, she quietly walked away : but she 
couldn't help saying to herself as she went, 

"Of all the unsatisfactory " (she repeated 

this aloud, as it was a great comfort to have 
such a long word to say) " of all the unsatisfac- 

toiy people I ever met " She never finished 

the sentence, for at this moment a heavy crash 
shook the forest from end to end. 



CHAPTER VII. 

THE LION AND THE UNICOJJN. 

The next moment soldiers came running 
through the wood, at first in twos and threes, 
then ten or twenty together, and at last in such 
crowds that they seemed to fill the whole forest. 
Alice got behind a tree, for fear of being run 
over, and watched them go by. 

She thought that in all her life she had 
never seen soldiers so uncertain on their feet : 
they were always tripping over something or 
other, and whenever one went down, several 
more alw T ays fell over him, so that the ground 
was soon covered with little heaps of men. 



138 



THE LION AND 




Then came the horses. Having four feet, 
these managed rather better than the foot-sol- 
diers : but even they stumbled now and then ; 



THE UNICORN. 139 

and it seemed to be a regular rule that, when- 
ever a horse stumbled, the rider fell off instantly. 
The confusion got worse every moment, and 
Alice was very glad to get out of the wood 
into an open place, where she found the White 
King seated on the ground, busily writing in 
his memorandum-book. 

" I Ve sent them all ! " the King cried in 
a tone of delight, on seeing Alice. "Did you 
happen to meet any soldiers, my dear, as you 
came through the wood ? " 

" Yes, I did," said Alice : " several thousand, 
I should think." 

"Four thousand two hundred and seven, 
that's the exact number," the King said, referring 
to his book. " I couldn't send all the horses, 
you know, because two of them are wanted in 
the game. And I haven't sent the two Mes- 
sengers, either. They're both gone to the town. 
Just look along the road, and tell me if you 
can see either of them." 

" I see nobody on the road," said Alice. 



140 THE LION AND 

"I only wish I had such eyes," the King 
remarked in a fretful tone. "To be able to 
see Nobody ! And at that distance too ! Why, 
it's as much as / can do to see real people, 
by this light!" 

All this was lost on Alice, who was still 
looking intently along the road, shading her 
eyes with one hand. u 1 see somebody now ! " 
she exclaimed at last. "But he's coming very 

slowly and what curious attitudes he goes 

into ! " (For the Messenger kept skipping up 
and down, and wriggling like an eel, as he 
came along, with his great hands spread out 
like fans on each side.) 

"Not at all," said the King. "He's an 
Anglo-Saxon Messenger and those are Anglo- 
Saxon attitudes. He only does them when he 's 
happy. His name is Haigha." (He pronounced 
it so as to rhyme with ' mayor.') 

" I love my love with an H," Alice couldn't 
help beginning, "because he is Happy. I hate 
him with an H, because he is Hideous. I fed 



THE UNICORN. 141 

him with with with Ham-sandwiches and 

Hay. His name is Haigha, and he lives " 

" He lives on the Hill," the Kino- remarked 
simply, without the least idea that he was joining 
in the game, while Alice was still hesitating 
for the name of a town be^innin^ with H. "The 
other Messenger's called Hatta. I must have 

two, you know to come and go. One to 

come, and one to go." 

" I beg your pardon \ " said Alice. 

" It isn't respectable to beg," said the King. 

" I only meant that I didn't understand," said 
Alice. " Why one to come and one to go ? " 

" Don't I tell you % " the King repeated 

impatiently. " I must have two to fetch 

and carry. One to fetch, and one to carry." 

At this moment the Messenger arrived : he 
was far too much out of breath to say a word, 
and could only wave his hands about, and make 
the most fearful faces at the poor King. 

. " This young lady loves you with an H," 
the King said, introducing Alice in the hope of 



142 



THE LION AND 



turning off the Messenger's attention from him- 
self but it was no use the An.o;lo-Saxon 

attitudes only got more extraordinary every 
moment, while the great eyes rolled wildly from 
side to side. 



r ■ :*£: 




" You alarm me ! " said the King. " I feel 
faint Give me a ham sandwich ! " 

On which the Messenger, to Alice's great 
amusement, opened a bag that hung round his 



THE UNICORN. 143 

neck, and handed a sandwich to the King, who 
devoured it greedily. 

"Another sandwich!" said the King. 

" There 's nothing but hay left now," the 
Messenger said, peeping into the bag. 

" Hay, then," the King murmured in a 
faint whisper. 

Alice was glad to see that it revived him a 
good deal. " There 's nothing like eating hay 
when you're faint," he remarked to her, as he 
munched away. 

" I should think throwing cold water over 

you would be better/' Alice suggested : " or 

some sal-volatile." 

" I didn't say there was nothing better," the 
King replied. " I said there was nothing like 
it." Which Alice did not venture to deny. 

"Who did you pass on the road?" the 
King went on, holding out his hand to the 
Messenger for some more hay. 

" Nobody," said the Messenger. 

" Quite right," said the King : " this young 



144 THE LION" AND 

lady saw him too. So of course Nobody walks 
slower than you." 

"I do my best," the Messenger said in a 
sullen tone. " I 'm sure nobody walks much 
faster than I do ! " 

"He can't do that," said the King, "or else 
he'd have been here first. However, now you've 
got your breath, you may tell us what 's hap- 
pened in the town." 

" I '11 whisper it," said the Messenger, putting 
his hands to his mouth in the shape of a trumpet, 
and stooping so as to get close to the King's 
ear. Alice was sorry for this, as she wanted to 
hear the news too. However, instead of whisper- 
ing, he simply shouted at the top of his voice 
" They 're at it again 1 " 

" Do you call that a whisper ? " cried the 
poor King, jumping up and shaking himself. 
" If you do such a thing again, I '11 have you 
buttered ! It went through and through my 
head like an earthquake ! " 

" It would have to be a very tiny earth- 



THE UNICORN 1 . 145 

quake ! " thought Alice. " Who are at it again ? " 
she ventured to ask. 

" Why, the Lion and the Unicorn, of course," 
said the King. 

" Fighting for the crown ? " 

" Yes, to be sure," said the King : " and 
the best of the joke is, that it's my crown all 
the while ! Let 's run and see them." And 
they trotted off, Alice repeating to herself, as 
she ran, the words of the old song : — 

" The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown : 
The Lion beat the Unicorn all round the town. 
Some gave them white bread, some gave them brown; 
Some gave them plum-cake and drummed them out of 
town." 

" Does the one that wins get the 

crown ? " she asked, as well as she could, for 
the run was putting her quite out of breath. 

"Dear me, no!" said the King. "What 
an idea ! " 

L 



146 THE LION AND 

" Would you be good enough," Alice 

panted out, after running a little further, "to 

stop a minute just to get — —one's breath 

again t 

" I 'm good enough," the King said, " only 
I 'in not strong enough. You see, a minute 
goes by so fearfully quick. You might as well 
try to stop a Bandersnatch ! " 

Alice had no more breath for talking, so 
they trotted on in silence, till- they came in 
sight of a great crowd, in the middle of which 
the Lion and Unicorn were fighting. They 
were in such a cloud of dust, that at first Alice 
could not make out which was which : but she 
soon managed to distinguish the Unicorn by 
his horn. 

They placed themselves close to where Hatta, 
the other Messenger, was standing watching the 
fight, with a cup of tea in one hand and a 
piece of bread-and-butter in the other. 

" He 's only just out of prison, and he hadn't 
finished his tea when he was sent in," Haigha 



THE UNICORN". 147 

whispered to Alice: "and they only give them 

oyster- shells in there so you see he ; s very 

hungry and thirsty. How are you, dear child?" 
he went on, putting his arm affectionately round 
Hatta's neck. 

Hatta looked round and nodded, and went 
on with his bread-and-butter. 

" Were you happy in prison, dear child ? " 
said Haigha. 

Hatta looked round once more, and this time 
a tear or two trickled down his cheek : but not 
a word would he say. 

" Speak, can't you ! " Haigha cried impa- 
tiently. But Hatta only munched away, and 
drank some more tea. 

" Speak, won't you ! " cried the King. '■ How 
are they getting on with the fight \ " 

Hatta made a desperate effort, and swallowed 
a large piece of bread-and-butter. " They 're 
getting on very well," he said in a choking voice : 
" each of them has been down about eighty-seven 
times." 

l2 



148 



THE LION AND 



=&===--— 




" Then I suppose they '11 soon bring the 
white bread and the brown ? " Alice ventured 
to remark. 

"It's waiting for 'em now," said Hatta: 
" this is a bit of it as I'm eating." 

There was a pause in the fight just then, 
and the Lion and the Unicorn sat down, pant- 
ing, while the King called out " Ten minutes 
allowed for refreshments ! " Haigha and Hatta 



THE UNICORN. 149 

set to work at once, carrying round trays of 
white and brown bread. Alice took a piece to 
taste, but it was very dry. 

" I don't think they 11 fight any more to- 
day," the King said to Hatta : " go and order 
the drums to begin." And Hatta went bound- 
ing away like a grasshopper. 

For a minute or two Alice stood silent, 
watching him. Suddenly she brightened up. 
" Look, look ! " she cried, pointing eagerly. 
"There's the White Queen running across the 
country ! She came flying out of the wood over 
yonder How fast those Queens can run ! " 

" There 's some enemy after her, no doubt," 
the King said, without even looking round. 
"That wood's full of them." 

"But aren't you going to run and help 
her 1 " Alice asked, very much surprised at his 
taking it so quietly. 

" No use, no use ! " said the King. " She runs 
so fearfully quick. You might as well try to 
catch a Bandersnatch ! But I '11 make a memo- 



150 THE LION AND 

rand urn about her, if you like She's a clear 

good creature/' he repeated softly to himself, as 
he opened his memorandum-book. "Do you 
spell ' creature ' with a double ' e ' ? " 

At this moment the Unicorn sauntered by 
them, with his hands in his pockets. " I had 
the best of it this time ? " he said to the King, 
just glancing at him as he passed. 

" A little a little," the King replied, 

rather nervously. "You shouldn't have run 
him through with your horn, you know." 

" It didn't hurt him," the Unicorn said care- 
lessly, and he was going on, when his eye 
happened to fall upon Alice : he turned round 
instantly, and stood for some time looking at 
her with an air of the deepest disgust. 

" What is this ? " he said at last. 

"This is a child!" Haigha replied eagerly, 
coming in front of Alice to introduce her, and 
spreading out both his hands towards her in an 
Anglo-Saxon attitude. " We only found it to-day. 
It's as large as life, and twice as natural!" 



THE UNICORN. 151 

"I always thought they were fabulous mon- 
sters ! " said the Unicorn. "Is it alive ? " 

"It can talk," said Haigha, solemnly. 

The Unicorn looked dreamily at Alice, and 
said "Talk, child. " 

Alice could not help her lips curling up into 
a smile as she began : "Do you know, I always 
thought Unicorns were fabulous monsters, too ! 
I never saw one alive before ! " 

" Well, now that we have seen each other," 
said the Unicorn, "if you'll believe in me, I'll 
believe in you. Is that a bargain ? " 

" Yes, if you like," said Alice. 

" Come, fetch out the plum-cake, old man ! " 
the Unicorn went on, turning from her to the 
King. " None of vour brown bread for me ! " 

" Certainly — — certainly ! " the King muttered, 
and beckoned to Haigha. " Open the bag ! " he 

whispered. "Quick! Not that one that's full 

of hay!" 

Haigha took a large cake out of the bag, 
and gave it to Alice to hold, while he got 



152 



THE LION AND 



out a dish and carving-knife. How they all 
came out of it Alice couldn't guess. It was 
just like a conjuring- trick, she thought. 




The Lion had joined them while this was 
going on : he looked very tired and sleepy, and 
his eyes were half shut. " What 's this ! " he 
said, blinking lazily at Alice, and speaking in 
a deep hollow tone that sounded like the tolling 
of a great bell. 



THE UNICORN. 153 

"Ah, what is it, now?" the Unicorn cried 
eagerly. "You'll never guess! / couldn't." 

The Lion looked at Alice wearily. "Are you 

animal or vegetable or mineral ? " he said, 

yawning at every other word. 

" It's a fabulous monster ! " the Unicorn cried 
out, before Alice could reply. 

" Then hand round the plum- cake, Monster," 
the Lion said, lying down and putting his chin 
on his paws. "And sit down, both of you," 
(to the King and the Unicorn) : " fair play 
with the cake, you know ! " 

The King was evidently very uncomfortable 
at having to sit down between the two great 
creatures ; but there was no other place for him. 

"What a fight we might have for the crown, 
now!" the Unicorn said, looking slyly up at 
the crown, which the poor King was nearly 
shaking off his head, he trembled so much. 

"I should win easy," said the Lion. 

"I'm not so sure of that," said the Unicorn. 

" Why, I beat you all round the town, you 



154 THE LION AND 

chicken !" the Lion replied angrily, half getting 
up as he spoke. 

Here the King interrupted, to prevent the 
quarrel going on : he was very nervous,, and 
his voice quite quivered. "All round the town?" 
he said. " That's a good loDg way. Did 
you go by the old bridge, or the market-place ? 
You get the best view by the old bridge." 

"I'm sure I don't know," the Lion growled 
out as he lay down again. "There was too 
much dust to see anything. What a time the 
Monster is, cutting up that cake ! " 

Alice had seated herself on the bank of a 
little brook, with the great dish on her knees, 
and was sawing away diligently with the knife, 
"It's very provoking!" she said, in reply to 
the Lion (she was getting quite used to being 
called 'the Monster'). "I've cut several slices 
already, but they always join on again!" 

"You don't know how to manage Looking- 
glass cakes," the Unicorn remarked. " Hand it 
round first, and cut it afterwards." 



THE UNICORN. 155 

This sounded nonsense, but Alice very obedi- 
ently got up, and carried the dish round, and 
the cake divided itself into three pieces as she 
did so. "Now. cut it up," said the Lion, as 
she returned to her place with the empty dish. 

"I say, this isn't fair!" cried the Unicorn, 
as Alice sat with the knife in her hand, very 
much puzzled how to begin. "The Monster has 
given the Lion twice as much as me!" 

" She -s kept none for herself, anyhow," said 
the Lion. " Do you like plum-cake, Monster % " 

But before Alice could answer him, the 
drums began. 

Where the noise came from, she couldn't 
make out : the air seemed full of it, and it 
rang through and through her head till she felt 
quite deafened. She started to her feet and 
sprang across the little brook in her terror, 



156 



THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 



ssfc^telgfe 



and had just time 
to see the Lion 
and the Unicorn 
Bit rise to their feet, 
I; with angry looks 
at being inter- 
rupted in their 
feast, before she 
dropped to her 
knees, and put 
her hands over 
her ears, vainly 
trying to shut 
out the dreadful 
uproar. 

" If that doesn't ' drum them out of town/ yj 
she thought to herself, " nothing ever will ! " 




CHAPTER VIII. 



" it 'a 



IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 

After a while the noise seemed gradually to 
die away, till all was dead silence, and Alice 
lifted up her head in some alarm. There was 
no one to be seen, and her first thought was 
that she must have been dreaming about the 
Lion and the Unicorn and those queer Anglo- 
Saxon Messengers. However, there was the great 
dish still lying at her feet, on which she had 
tried to cut the plum-cake, "So I wasn't dream- 
ing, after all," she said to herself, "unless 

unless we're all part of the same dream. Only I 
do hojje it's my dream, and not the Red King's ! 



158 " IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 

I don't like belonging to another person's 
dream," she went on in a rather complaining 
tone : " I ; ve a great mind to go and wake him, 
and see what happens ! " 

At this moment her thoughts were interrupted 
by a loud shouting of "Ahoy! Ahoy! Cheek!" 
and a Knight, dressed in crimson armour, came 
galloping down upon her, brandishing a great 
club. Just as he reached her, the horse stopped 
suddenly : " You re my prisoner ! " the Knight 
cried, as he tumbled off his horse. 

Startled as she was, Alice was more frightened 
.for him than for herself at the moment, and 
watched him with some anxiety as he mounted 
again. As soon as he was comfortably in the 

saddle, he began once more "You're my " 

but here another voice broke in " Ahoy ! Ahoy ! 
Check ! " and Alice looked round in some surprise 
for the new enemy. 

This time it was a White Knight. He drew 
up at Alice's side, and tumbled off Ins horse just 
as the Red Knight had done : then he got on 



IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 159 

again, and the two Knights sat and looked at 
each other for some time without speaking. 
Alice looked from one to the other in some 
bewilderment. 

"She's my prisoner, you know!" the Red 
Knight said at last. 

" Yes, but then / came and rescued her ! " 
the White Knight replied. 

"Well, we must fight for her, then," said the 
Red Knight, as he took up his helmet (which 
hung from the saddle, and was something the 
shape of a horse's head), and put it on. 

" You will observe the Rules of Battle, of 
course ? " the White Knight remarked, putting 
on his helmet too. 

"I always do," said the Red Knight, and 
they began banging away at each other with 
such fury that Alice got behind a tree to be out 
of the way of the blows. 

" I wonder, now, what the Rules of Battle are," 
she said to herself, as she watched the fight, timidly 
peeping out from her hiding-place : " one Rule 



160 ". IT 'S MY OWN INVENTION.' 




seems to be, that if one Knight hits the other, 
he knocks him off his horse, and if he misses, he 

tumbles off" himself- and another Rule seems 

to be that they hold their clubs with their arms, 

as if they were Punch and Judy What a noise 

they make when they tumble ! Just like a whole 



IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 161 

set of fire-irons fallings into the fender ! And how 
quiet the horses are ! They let them get on 
and off them just as if they were tables ! ,; 

Another Eule of Battle, that Alice had not 
noticed, seemed to be that they always fell on 
their heads, and the battle ended with their both 
falling off in this way, side by side : when 
they got up again, they shook hands, and then 
the Eed Knight mounted and galloped off. 

" It was a glorious victory, wasn't it ? " said 
the White Knight, as he came up panting. 

"I don't know," Alice said doubtfully. "I 
don't want to be anybody's prisoner. I want to 
be a Queen." 

"So you will, when you've crossed the next 
brook," said the White Knight. " I'll see you 

safe to the end of the wood and then I must 

go back, you know. That 's the end of my move. " 

" Thank you very much," said Alice. " May I 
help you off with your helmet ? " It was evidently 
more than he could manage by himself; however, 
she managed to shake him out of it at last. 

M 



162 '" IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 

" Now one can breathe more easily," said the 
Knight, putting back his shaggy hair with both 
hands, and turning his gentle face and large mild 
eyes to Alice. She thought she had never seen 
such a strange-looking soldier in all her life. 

He was dressed in tin armour, which seemed 
to fit him very badly, and he had a queer-shaped 
little deal box fastened across his shoulders, 
upside-down, and with the lid hanging open. 
Alice looked at it with great curiosity. 

" I see you're admiring my little box/' the 
Knight said in a friendly tone. " It's my own 

invention to keep clothes and sandwiches in. 

You see I carry it upside-down, so that the rain 
can't get in." 

" But the things can get out," Alice gently 
remarked. "Do you know the lid's open?" 

" I didn't know it," the Knight said, a shade 
of vexation passing over his face. " Then all the 
things must have fallen out ! And the box is no 
use without them." He unfastened it as he spoke, 
and was just going to throw it into the bushes, 



IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 163 

when a sudden thought seemed to strike him, 
and he hung it carefully on a tree. " Can you 
guess why I did that ? " he said to Alice. 
Alice shook her head. 
"In hopes some bees may make a nest in it 

then I should get the honey." 

" But you've got a bee-hive or something 

like one fastened to the saddle," said Alice. 

"Yes, it's a very good bee-hive," the Knight 
said in a discontented tone, " one of the best 
kind. But not a single bee has come near it yet. 
And the other thing is a mouse-trap. I suppose 

the mice keep the bees out or the bees keep 

the mice out, I don't know which." 

"I was wondering what the mouse-trap was 
for," said Alice. " It isn't very likely there 
would be any mice on the horse's back." 

" Not very likely, perhaps," said the Knight ; 
" but if they do come, I don't choose to have 
them running all about." 

" You see," he went on after a pause, "it's as 
well to be provided for everything. That's the 

M 2 



164 " IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 

reason the horse has all those anklets round his 
feet." 

" But what are they for ? " Alice asked in a 
tone of great curiosity. 

" To guard against the bites of sharks," the 
Knight replied. " It's an invention of my own. 
And now help me on. I'll go with you to the 
end of the wood What's that dish for ? " 

"It's meant for plum-cake," said Alice. 

" We 'd better take it with us," the Knight 
said. " It '11 come in handy if we find any 
plum-cake. Help me to get it into this bag." 

This took a long time to manage, though Alice 
held the bag open very carefully, because the 
Knight was so very awkward in putting in the 
dish : the first two or three times that he tried 
he fell in himself instead. " It 's rather a tight 
fit, you see," he said, as they got it in at last ; 
" there are so many candlesticks in the bag." 
And he hung it to the saddle, which was already 
loaded with bunches of carrots, and fire-irons, 
and many other things. 



IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 165 

"I hope youVe got your hair well fastened 
on ? " he continued, as they set off. 

" Only in the usual way," Alice said, smiling. 

"That's hardly enough," he said, anxiously. 
" You see the wind is so very strong here. It 's 
as strong as soup." 

" Have you invented a plan for keeping the 
hair from being blown off ? " Alice enquired. 

"Not yet," said the Knight. "But I've got 
a plan for keeping it from falling off." 

" I should like to hear it, very much." 

" First you take an upright stick," said the 
Knight. t " Then you make your hair creep up 
it, like a fruit-tree. Now the reason hair falls 

off is because it hangs down things never 

fall upwards, you know. It 's a plan of my 
own invention. You may try it if you like." 

It didn't sound a comfortable plan, Alice 
thought, and for a few minutes she walked on 
in silence, puzzling over the idea, and every now 
and then stopping to help the poor Knight, who 
certainly was not a good rider. 



1(56 



it's my own invention, 




Whenever the horse stopped (which it did 
very often), he fell off in front; and when- 
ever it went on again (which it generally did 
rather suddenly), he fell off behind. Otherwise 
he kept on pretty well, except that he had a 
habit of now and then falling off sideways ; and 
as he generally did this on the side on which 



IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 167 

Alice was walking, she soon found that it was the 
best plan not to walk quite close to the horse. 

" I 'm afraid you Ve not had much practice in 
riding," she ventured to say, as she was helping 
him up from his fifth tumble. 

The Knight looked very much surprised, and a 
little offended at the remark. " What makes you 
say that % " he asked, as he scrambled back into the 
saddle, keeping hold of Alice's hair with one hand, 
to save himself from falling over on the other side. 

"Because people don't fall off quite so often, 
when they 've had much practice." 

"I've had plenty of practice," the Knight said 
very gravely : " plenty of practice ! " 

Alice could think of nothing better to say 
than " Indeed ? " but she said it as heartily as 
she could. They went on a little way in silence 
after this, the Knight with his eyes shut, mutter- 
ing to himself, and Alice watching anxiously for 
the next tumble. 

" The great art of riding," the Knight suddenly 
began in a loud voice, waving his right arm as he 



168 "IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 

spoke, "is to keep " Here the sentence ended 

as suddenly as it had begun, as the Knight fell 
heavily on the top of his head exactly in the path 
where Alice was walking. She was quite frightened 
this time, and said in an anxious tone, as she 
picked him up, " I hope no bones are broken ? " 

" None to speak of," the Knight said, as if 
he didn't mind breaking two or three of them. 
"The great art of riding, as I was saying, is — 
to keep your balance properly. Like this, you 
know " 

He let go the bridle, and stretched out both 
his arms to show Alice what he meant, and this 
time he fell flat on his back, right under the 
horse's feet. 

" Plenty of practice ! " he went on repeating, 
all the time that Alice was getting him on his 
feet again. " Plenty of practice ! " 

" It 's too ridiculous ! " cried Alice, losing all 
her patience this time. " You ought to have a 
wooden horse on wheels, that you ought ! " 

" Does that kind go smoothly ? " the Knight 



"IT S MY OWN" INVENTION. 169 

asked in a tone of great interest, clasping his 
arms round the horse's neck as he spoke, just in 
time to save himself from tumblina; off as;ain. 

"Much more smoothly than a live horse," 
Alice said, with a little scream of laughter, in 
spite of all she could do to prevent it. 

" I '11 get one," the Knight said thoughtfully 
to himself. " One or two several." 

There was a short silence after this, and 
then the Knight went on again. " I 'm a great 
hand at inventing things. Now, I daresay you 
noticed, the last time you picked me up, that 
I was looking rather thoughtful ? " 

" You were a little grave," said Alice. 

" Well, just then I was inventing a new 

way of getting over a gate would you like 

to hear it ? " 

" Very much indeed," Alice said politely. 

" I'll tell you how I came to think of it," said 
the Knight. " You see, I said to myself, ' The 
only difficulty is with the feet : the head is high 
enough already.' Now, first I put my head on 



170 "it s my own invention. 

the top of the gate then the head's high 

enough then I stand on my head then 

the feet are high enough, you see then I'm 

over, you see." 

"Yes, I suppose you'd be over when that 
was done," Alice said thoughtfully : " but don'.t 
you think it wou]d be rather hard?" 

"I haven't tried it yet," the Knight said, 

gravely : "so I can't tell for certain but I 'm 

afraid it would be a little hard." 

He looked so vexed at the idea, that Alice 
changed the subject hastily. " What a curious 
helmet you've got ! " she said cheerfully. " Is 
that your invention too ? " 

The Knight looked down proudly at his helmet, 
which hung from the saddle. " Yes," he said, 

"but I've invented a better one than that —like 

a sugar-loaf. When I used to wear it, if I fell off 
the horse, it always touched the ground directly. 

So I had a very little way to fall, you see But 

there was the danger of falling into it, to be sure. 
That happened to me once and the worst of 



IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 171 

it was, before I could get out again, the other 
White Knight came and put it on. He thought 
it was his own helmet." 

The Knight looked so solemn about it that 
Alice did not dare to laugh. "I'm afraid you 
must have hurt him/' she said in a trembling 
voice, " being on the top of his head." 

" I had to kick him, of course," the Knight 
said, very seriously. " And then he took the 

helmet off again but it took hours and hours 

to get me out. I was as fast as as lightning, 

you know." 

" But that 's a different kind of fastness," 
Alice objected. 

The Knight shook his head. " It was all 
kinds of fastness with me, I can assure you \" he 
said. He raised his hands in some excitement as 
he said this, and instantly rolled out of the saddle, 
and fell headlong into a deep ditch. 

Alice ran to the side of the ditch to look for 
him. She was rather startled by the fall, as for 
some time he had kept on very well, and she was 



172 



IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 



afraid that he really ivas hurt this time. However, 
though she could see nothing but the soles of his 
feet, she was much relieved to hear that he was 
talking on in his usual tone. " All kinds of fast- 
ness," he repeated : " but it was careless of him to 
put another man's helmet on — —with the man 
in it, too." 




" How can you go on talking so quietly, head 
downwards?" Alice asked, as she dragged him 
out by the feet, and laid him in a heap on the 
bank. 



"IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 173 

The Knight looked surprised at the question. 
" What does it matter where my body happens 
to be ? " he said. " My mind goes on working all 
the same. In fact, the more head downwards 
I am, the more I keep inventing new things." 

" Now the cleverest thing of the sort that I 
ever did," he went on after a pause, " was invent- 
ing a new pudding during the meat- course." 

" In time to have it cooked for the next 
course ? " said Alice. " Well, that was quick work, 
certainly ! " 

" Well, not the next course," the Knight said 
in a slow thoughtful tone : " no, certainly not the 
next course!' 1 

" Then it would have to be the next day. I 
suppose you wouldn't have two pudding-courses 
in one dinner ? " 

" Well, not the next day," the Knight repeated 
as before : " not the next day. In fact," he went 
on, holding his head down, and his voice getting 
lower and lower, "I don't believe that pudding 
ever vxis cooked ! In fact, I don't believe that 



174 " IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 

pudding ever will be cooked ! And yet it was 
a very clever pudding to invent." 

" What did you mean it to be made of % " 
Alice asked, hoping to cheer him up, for the poor 
Knight seemed quite low-spirited about it. 

" It began with blotting-paper," the Knight 
answered with a groan. 

" That wouldn't be very nice, I in afraid " 

" Not very nice alone," he interrupted, quite 
eagerly : "but you've no idea what a difference 

it makes, mixing it with other things such 

as gunpowder and sealing-wax. And here I 
must leave you." They had just come to the 
end of the wood. 

Alice could only look puzzled : she was 
thinking of the pudding. 

"You are sad," the Knight said in an anxious 
tone : "let me sing you a song to comfort you." 

" Is it very long ? " Alice asked, for she had 
heard a good deal of poetry that day. 

"It's long," said the Knight, "but it's very, 
very beautiful. Everybody that hears me sing 



" IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 175 

it either it brings the tears into their eyes, 

or else " 

" Or else what ? " said Alice, for the Knight 
had made a sudden pause. 

" Or else it doesn't, you know. The name 
of the song is called ' Haddocks Eyes? " 

"Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" 
Alice said, trying to feel interested. 

" No, you don't understand," the Knight said, 
looking a little vexed. " That 's what the name 
is called. The name really is ' The Aged Aged 
Man? " 

" Then I ought to have said ' That 's what 
the song is called ' ? " Alice corrected herself. 

"No, you oughtn't: that's quite another 
thing ! The song is called ' Ways And Means ' : 
but that 's only what it's called, you know ! " 

" Well, what is the song, then ? " said Alice, 
who was by this time completely bewildered. 

" I was coming to that," the Knight said . 
" The song really is ' A-sitting On A Gate ' : and 
the tune 's my own invention." 



176 " IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 

So saying, he stopped his horse and let the 
reins fall on its neck : then, slowly beating time 
with one hand, and with a faint smile lighting 
up his gentle foolish face, as if he enjoyed the 
music of his song, he began. 

Of all the strange things that Alice saw 
in her journey Through The Looking- Glass, 
this was the one that she always remembered 
most clearly. Years afterwards she could bring 
the whole scene back again, as if it had been 

only yesterday the mild blue eyes and kindly 

smile of the Knight the setting sun gleaming 

through his hair, and shining on his armour 

in a blaze of light that quite dazzled her 

the horse quietly moving about, with the reins 
hanging loose on his neck, cropping the grass 

at her feet and the black shadows of the 

forest behind all this she took in like a 

picture, as, with one hand shading her eyes, she 
leant against a tree, watching the strange pair, 
and listening, in a half dream, to the melan- 
choly music of the song. 



' IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 177 

"Bat the tune isn't his own invention," she 
said to herself: "it's 'I give thee all, I can no 
more.'" She stood and listened very attentively, 
but no tears came into her eyes. 

"I'll tell thee everything I can; 

There's little to relate. 
1 saw an aged aged man, 

A-sitting on a gate. 
' Who are you, aged man ? ' I said. 

1 And how is it you live ? ' 
And his answer trickled through my head 

Like water through a sieve. 

He said ' i" look for hutterjlies 

That sleep among the wheat : 
I make them into mutton-pies, 

And sell them in the street. 
I sell them unto men,'' he said, 

1 Who sail on stormy seas; 
And that's the way I get my bread — 

A trifle, if you please.' 



178 " IT 'fl MY OWN INVENTION. 

But I was thinking of a plan 

To dye one's whiskers green, 
And always use so large a fan 

That they could not be seen. 
80, having no reply to give 

To what the old man said, 
I cried ' Come, tell me how you live ! ' 

And thumped him on the head. 

His accents mild took up the tale : 

He said ' I go my ways, 
And when I find a mountain-rill, 

I set it in a blaze ; 
And thence they make a stuf) they call 

Rowlands' Macassar Oil — 
Yet twopence-halfpenny is all 

They give me for my toiV 

But I was thinking of a way 
To feed oneself on batter, 

And so go on from day to day 
Getting a little fatter. 



"it s my own invention. 

I shook him well from side to side, 

Until his face was blue : 
1 Come, tell me how you live,' I cried, 

' And what it is you do ! ' 



179 




He said. ' i" hunt for haddock^ eyes 

Among the heather bright, 
And work them into waistcoat-buttons 

In the silent night. 
n 2 



180 "it s my own invention. 

And these I do not sell for gold 
Or coin of silvery shine, 

But for a copper halfpenny, 
And that will purchase nine. 



1 1 sometimes dig for buttered rolls, 

Or set limed twigs for crabs ; 
I sometimes search the grassy knolls 

For wheels of Hansom-cabs. 
And that's the way' (he gave a wink) 

' By which I get my wealth — 
And very gladly will I drink 

Your Honour's noble health' 

I heard him then, for I had just 

Completed my design 
To keep the Menai bridge from rust 

By boiling it in wine. 
I thanked him much for telling me 

The way he got his wealth, 
But chiefly for his wish that he 

Might drink my noble health. 



"IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 181 

And now, if e'er by chance I put 

My fingers into glue, 
Or madly squeeze a right-hand foot 

Into a left-hand shoe, 
Or if I drop upon my toe 

A very heavy weight, 
I weep, for it reminds me so 
Of that old man I used to know — 
Whose look was mild, whose speech was slow, 
Whose hair was whiter than the snoiv, 
Whose face was very like a crow, 
With eyes, like cinders, all aglow, 
Who seemed distracted with his woe, 
Who rocked his body to and fro, 
And muttered mumblingly and low, 
As if his mouth were full of dough, 

Who snorted like a buffalo 

That summer evening, long ago, 

A-sitting on a gate." 

As the Knight sang the last words of the 
ballad, he gathered up the reins, and turned 



182 IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 

his horse's head along the road by which they 
had come. " You 've only a few yards to go," 
he said, " down the hill and over that little 

brook, and then you'll be a Queen But 

you 11 stay and see me off first 1 ,; he added 
as Alice turned with an eager look in the 
direction to which he pointed. " I shan't be 
long. You'll wait and wave your handkerchief 
when I get to that turn in the road ? I think 
it '11 encourage me, you see." 

" Of course I '11 wait," said Alice : " and thank 

you very much for' coming so far and for 

the song 1 liked it very much." 

" I hope so," the Knight said doubtfully : 
"but you didn't cry so much as I thought 
you would." 

So they shook hands, and then the Knight 
rode slowly away into the forest. " It won't 
take long to see him off, I expect," Alice said 
to herself, as she stood watching him. " There 
he goes ! Eight on his head as usual ! How- 
ever, he gets on again pretty easily that 



"IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 183 

comes of having so many things hung round the 

horse " So she went on talking to herself, 

as she watched the horse walking leisurely along 
the road, and the Knight tumbling off, first on 
one side and then on the other. After the 
fourth or fifth tumble he reached the turn, and 
then she waved her handkerchief to him, and 
waited till he was out of sight. 

" I hope it encouraged him," she said, as 
she turned to run down the hill : "and now 
for the last brook, and to be a Queen ! How 
grand it sounds ! " A very few steps brought 
her to the edge of the brook. " The Eighth 
Square at last ! " she cried as she bounded across, 



and threw herself down to rest on a lawn as 
soft as moss, with little flower-beds dotted about 
it here and there. " Oh, how glad I am to get 
here ! And what is this on my head \ " she 



184 



IT S MY OWN INVENTION. 



exclaimed in a 
tone of dismay, 
as she put her 
hands up to 
something very 
heavy, that fitted 
tight all round 
her head. 

" But how can 
it have got there 
without my know- 
ing it ? " she 
said to herself, 
as she lifted it 

off, and set it on her lap to make out what 

it could possibly be. 

It was a golden crown. 




CHAPTER IX. 



QUEEN ALICE. 



" Well, this is grand ! " said Alice. " I never 

expected I should be a Queen so soon and 

I '11 tell you what it is, your Majesty," she went 
on in a severe tone (she was always rather fond 
of scolding herself), " it '11 never do for you to 
be lolling about on the grass like that ! Queens 
have to be dignified, you know ! " 

So she got up and walked about rather 

stiffly just at . first, as she was afraid that the 
crown might come off: but she comforted herself 
with the thought that there was nobody to see 
her, " and if I really am a Queen," she said 



186 QUEEN ALICE. 

as she sat down again, "I shall be able to 
manage it quite well in time." 

Everything was happening so oddly that she 
didn't feel a bit surprised at finding the Red 
Queen and the White Queen sitting close to her, 
one on each side : she would have liked very 
much to ask them how they came there, but 
she feared, it would not be quite civil. How- 
ever, there would be no harm, she thought, in 
asking if the game was over. "Please, would 
you tell me — : — " she began, looking timidly at 
the Red Queen." 

" Speak when you 're spoken to ! " the Queen 
sharply interrupted her. 

" But if everybody obeyed that rule," said 
Alice, who was always ready for a little argu- 
ment, " and if you only spoke when you were 
spoken to, and the other person always waited 
for you to begin, you see nobody would ever 
say anything, so that " 

" Ridiculous ! " cried the Queen. " Why, don't 
you see, child " here she broke off with a 



QUEEN ALICE. 187 

frown, and, after thinking for a minute, suddenly 
changed the subject of the conversation. "What 
do you mean by ' If you really are a Queen ' % 
What right have you to call yourself so ? You 
can't be a Queen, you know, till you've passed 
the proper examination. And the sooner we 
begin it, the better." 

"I only said 'if'!" poor Alice pleaded in 
a piteous tone. 

The two Queens looked at each other, and 
the Eed Queen remarked, with a little shudder, 
" She says she only said ' if ' " 

" But she said a great deal more than that ! " 
the White Queen moaned, wringing her hands. 
" Oh, ever so much more than that ! " 

" So you did, you know," the Eed Queen 

said to Alice. " Always speak the truth 

think before you speak and write it down 

afterwards." 

" I 'm sure I didn't mean " Alice was 

beginning, but the Eed Queen interrupted her 
impatiently. 



183 QUEEN ALIOE. 

"That's just what I complain of! You 
should have meant ! What do you suppose is 
the use of a child without any meaning ? Even 

a joke should have some meaning and a 

child's more important than a joke, I hope. 
You couldn't deny that, even if you tried with 
both hands." 

" I don't deny things with my hands," Alice 
objected. 

"Nobody said you did," said the Red Queen. 
" I said you couldn't if you tried." 

" She 's in that state of mind," said the "White 

Queen, " that she wants to deny something 

only she doesn't know what to deny ! " 

"A nasty, vicious temper," the Red Queen 
remarked ; and then there was an uncomfortable 
silence for a minute or two. 

The Red Queen broke the silence by saying 
to the White Queen, "I invite you to Alice's 
dinner-party this afternoon." 

The White Queen smiled feebly, and said 
" And I invite you" 



QUEEN ALICE. 189 

"I didn't know I was to have a party at 
all," said Alice ; " but if there is to be one, I 
think / ought to invite the guests/' 

"We gave you the opportunity of doing it," 
the Eed Queen remarked : "but I daresay you've 
not had many lessons in manners yet ? " 

" Manners are not taught in lessons," said 
Alice. " Lessons teach you to do sums, and 
things of that sort." 

" Can you do Addition ? " the White Queen 
asked. " What 's one and one and one and one 
and one and one and one and one and one and 
one I 

" I don't know," said Alice. " I lost count." 

"She can't do Addition," the Eed Queen in- 
terrupted. " Can you do Subtraction % Take 
nine from eight." 

"Nine from eight I can't, you know," Alice 
replied very readily : "but " 

" She can't do Substraction," said the White 
Queen. " Can you do Division ? Divide a loaf 
by a knife what 's the answer to that ? " 



190 QUEEN ALICE. 

" I suppose " Alice was beginning, but the 

Eed Queen answered for her. " Bread-and-butter, 
of course. Try another Subtraction sum. Take 
a bone from a dog : what remains ? " 



Alice considered. " The bone wouldn't re- 
main, of course, if I took it and the dog 

wouldn't remain ; it would come to bite me 

and I 'm sure / shouldn't remain ! " 

"Then you think nothing would remain?" 
said the Eed Queen. 

"I think that's the answer." 



QUEEN ALICE. 191 

" Wrong, as usual/' said the Red Queen : 
" the dog's temper would remain." 

" But I don't see how ■" 

" Why, look here ! " the Red Queen cried. 
" The dog would lose its temper, wouldn't it ? " 

" Perhaps it would," Alice replied cautiously. 

" Then if the dog went away, its temper 
would remain! " the Queen exclaimed trium- 
phantly. 

Alice said, as gravely as she could, " They 
might go different ways." But she couldn't help 
thinking to herself, " What dreadful nonsense 
we are talking ! " 

" She can't do sums a hit ! " the Queens 
said together, with great emphasis. 

" Can you do sums ? " Alice , said, turning 
suddenly on the White Queen, for she didn't 
like being found fault with so much. 

The Queen gasped and shut her eyes. " I 
can do Addition," she said, "if you give me 

time but I can't do Substraction, under any 

circumstances ! " 



192 QUEEN ALICE. 

" Of course you know your ABC?" said 
the Eed Queen. 

" To be sure I do," said Alice. 

"So do I," the White Queen whispered : 
"we'll often say it over together, dear. And 

111 tell you a secret 1 can read words of 

one letter ! Isn't that grand ? However, don't 
be discouraged. You'll come to it in time." 

Here the Eed Queen began again. " Can 
you answer useful questions 1 " she said. " How 
is bread made % " 

" I know that ! " Alice cried eagerly. " You 
take some flour " 

" Where do you pick the flower ? " the 
White Queen asked. " In a garden, or in the 
hedges ? " 

" Well, it isn't picked at all," Alice explained : 
" it 's ground " 

" How many acres of ground ? " said the 
White Queen. " You mustn't leave out so 
many things." 

" Fan her head ! " the Eed Queen anxiously 



QUEEN ALICE. 193 

interrupted. " She 11 be feverish after so much 
thinking." So they set to work and fanned 
her with bunches of leaves, till she had to beg 
them to leave off, it blew her hair about so. 

" She 's all right again now," said the Eed 
Queen. " Do you know Languages ? What 's 
the French for fiddle-de-dee ? " 

" Fiddle-de-dee 's not English," Alice replied 
gravely. 

" Who ever said it was ? " said the Eed 
Queen. 

Alice thought she saw a way out of the 
difficulty this time. " If you 11 tell me what 
language ' fiddle-de-dee ' is, I '11 tell you the 
French for it ! " she exclaimed triumphantly. 

But the Eed Queen drew herself up rather 
stiffly, and said " Queens never make bargains." 

"I wish Queens never asked questions," Alice 
thought to herself. 

"Don't let us quarrel," the White Queen 
said in an anxious tone. "What is the cause 
of lightning ? " 

o 



194 QUEEN ALICE. 

"The cause of lightning/' Alice said very 
decidedly, for she felt quite certain about this, 
" is the thunder no, no ! " she hastily cor- 
rected herself. " I meant the other way." 

" It 's too late to correct it," said the Eed 
Queen : " when you Ve once said a thing, that 
fixes it, and you must take the consequences." 

" Which reminds me " the White Queen 

said, looking down and nervously clasping and 
unclasping her hands, "we had such a thunder- 
storm last Tuesday— — I mean one of the last 
set of Tuesdays, you know." 

Alice was puzzled. " In our country," she 
remarked, " there 's only one day at a time." 

The Eed Queen said " That 's a poor thin way 
of doing things. Now here, we mostly have 
days and nights two or three at a time, and 
sometimes in the winter we take as many as 
five nights together for warmth, you know." 

" Are five nights warmer than one night, 
then ? " Alice ventured to ask. 

" Five times as warm, of course." 



QUEEN ALICE. 195 

" But they should be five times as cold, by 
the same rule " 

" Just so ! " cried the Ked Queen. " Five 

times as warm, and five times as cold just 

as I 'm five times as rich as you are, and five 
times as clever ! " 

Alice sighed and gave it up. " It 's exactly 
like a riddle with no answer ! " she thought. 

" Humpty Dumpty saw it too," the White 
Queen went on in a low voice, more as if she 
were talking to herself. " He came to the door 
with a corkscrew in his hand " 

" What did he want ? " said the Eed Queen. 

" He said he would come in," the White 
Queen went on, " because he was looking for 
a hippopotamus. Now, as it happened, there 
wasn't such a thing in the house, that morning." 

" Is there generally ? " Alice asked in an 
astonished tone. 

" Well, only on Thursdays," said the Queen. 

" I know what he came for 3 " said Alice : 

" he wanted to punish the fish, because " 

o 2 



196 QUEEN ALICE. 

Here the White Queen began again. "It was 
such a thunderstorm, you can't think ! " (" She 
never could, you know/' said the Eed Queen.) 
" And part of the roof came off, and ever so 

much thunder got in and it went rolling 

round the room in great lumps and knocking 

over the tables and things -till I was so 

frightened, I couldn't remember my own name ! " 
Alice thought to herself, " I never should 
try to remember my name in the middle of an 
accident ! Where would be the use of it ? " but 
she did not say this aloud, for fear of hurting 
the poor Queen's feelings. 

" Your Majesty must excuse her," the Eed 
Queen said to Alice, taking one of the White 
Queen's hands in her own, and gently stroking 
it : " she means well, but she can't help saying 
foolish things, as a general rule." 

The White Queen looked timidly at Alice, who 
felt she ought to say something kind, but really 
couldn't think of anything at the moment. 

" She never was really well brought up," the 



QUEEN ALICE. 197 

Red Queen went on : " but it 's amazing how 
good-tempered she is ! Pat her on the head, 
and see how pleased she '11 be ! " But this was 
more than Alice had courage to do. 

"A little kindness and putting her hair 

in papers would do wonders with her " 

The White Queen gave a deep sigh, and 
laid her head on Alice's shoulder. "I am so 
sleepy ! " she moaned. 

" She 's tired, poor thing ! " said the Red 

Queen. " Smooth her hair lend her your 

nightcap and sing her a soothing lullaby." 

" I haven't got a nightcap with me," said 
Alice, as she tried to obey the first direction : 
" and I don't know any soothing lullabies." 

" I must do it myself, then," said the Red 
Queen, and she began : 

" Hush-a-by lady, in Alice's lap ! 
Till the feast 's ready, we 've time for a nap : 
Wlien the feast 's over, we 'M go to the ball — 
Bed Queen, and White Queen, and Alice, and all ! " 



198 



QUEEN ALICE. 



"And now you know the words," she added, 
as she put her head down on Alice's other 
shoulder, "just sing it through to me. I'm 
getting sleepy too." In another moment both 
Queens were fast asleep, and snoring loud. 




L >Ji.Ov-v, i/ /• -~-J 



" What am I to do \ " exclaimed Alice, 
looking about in great perplexity, as first one 
round head, and then the other, rolled down 
from her shoulder, and lay like a heavy lump 
in her lap. "I don't think it ever happened 
before, that any one had to take care of two 



QUEEN ALICE. 199 

Queens asleep at once ! No, not in all the 

History of England it couldn't, you know, 

because there never was more than one Queen 
at a time. Do wake up, you heavy things ! " 
she went on in an impatient tone ; but there 
was no answer but a gentle snoring. 

The snoring got more distinct every minute, 
and sounded more like a tune : at last she 
could even make out words, and she listened so 
eagerly that, when the two great heads suddenly 
vanished from her lap, she hardly missed them. 

She was standing before an arched doorway 
over which were the words QUEEN ALICE 
in large letters, and on each side of the arch 
there was a bell-handle ; one was marked 
" Visitors' Bell," and the other " Servants' Bell." 

" I '11 wait till the song 's over," thought 

Alice, "and then I'll ring the the which 

bell must I ring 1 " she went on, very much 
puzzled by the names. " I 'm not a visitor, 
and I 'm not a servant. There ought to be 
one marked 'Queen,' you know " 



200 QUEEN ALICE. 

Just then the door opened a little way, and 
a creature with a long beak put its head out 
for a moment and said "No admittance till the 
week after next ! " and shut the door again 
with a bang. 

Alice knocked and rang; in vain for a 
long time, but at last a very old Frog, who 
was sitting under a tree, got up and hobbled 
slowly towards her : he was dressed in bright 
yellow, and had enormous boots on. 

" What is it, now ? " the Frog said in a deep 
hoarse whisper. 

Alice turned round, ready to find fault with 
anybody. " Where 's the servant whose business 
it is to answer the door ? " she began angrily. 

" Which door ? " said the Frog. 

Alice almost stamped with irritation at the 
slow drawl in which he spoke. " This door, 
of course ! " 

The Frog looked at the door with his large 
dull eyes for a minute : then he went nearer 
and rubbed it with his thumb, as if he were 



QUEEN ALICE. 



201 



trying whether the paint would come" off ; 
then he looked at Alice, 




" To answer the door ? " he said. " What 's 
it been asking of?" He was so hoarse that 
Alice could scarcely hear him. 

" I don't know what you mean," she said. 



202 QUEEN ALICE. 

" I speaks English, doesn't I ? " the Frog 
went on. "Or are you deaf? What did it 
ask you ? " 

" Nothing ! " Alice said impatiently. " I 've 
been knocking at it ! " 

" Shouldn't do that shouldn't do that " 

the Frog muttered. "Wexes it, you know." 
Then he went up and gave the door a kick 
with one of his great feet. " You let it alone," 
he panted out, as he hobbled back to his tree, 
" and it 11 let you alone, you know." 

At this moment the door was flung open, 
and a shrill voice was heard singing : 

" To the Looking-Glass world it was Alice that said, 
'I've a sceptre in hand, I've a crown on my head; 
Let the Looking-Glass creatures, whatever they be, 
Come and dine with the Bed Queen, the White Queen, 
and me ! '" 

And hundreds , of voices joined in the 
chorus : 



QUEEN ALICE. 203 

" Then fill up the glasses as quick as you can, 
And sprinkle the table with buttons and bran : 
Put cats in the coffee, and mice in the tea — 
And welcome Queen Alice with thirty-times-three ! " 

Then followed a confused noise of cheering, 
and Alice thought to herself, " Thirty times 
three makes ninety. I wonder if any one 's 
counting V Id a minute there was silence again, 
and the same shrill voice sang another verse : 

" ' Looking -Glass creatures] quoth Alice, ' draiv near ! 
'Tis an honour to see me, a favour to hear : 
'Tis a, privilege high to have dinner and tea 
Along with the Red Queen, the White Queen, and me I ' " 

Then came the chorus again : — 

" Then fill up the glasses with treacle and ink, 
Or anything else that is pleasant to drink ; 
Mix sand with the cider, and wool with the wine — 
And welcome Queen Alice with ninety-times-nine ! " 



204 QUEEN ALICE. 

" Ninety times nine ! " Alice repeated in de- 
spair. " Oh, that 11 never be done ! I 'd better 

go in at once " and in she went, and there 

was a dead silence the moment she appeared. 

Alice glanced nervously along the table, as 
she walked up the large hall, and noticed that 
there were about fifty guests, of all kinds : some 
were animals, some birds, and there were even 
a few flowers among them. " I 'm glad they Ve 
come without waiting to be asked," she thought : 
" I should never have known who were the 
right people to invite ! " 

There were three chairs at the head of the 
table ; the Red and White Queens had already 
taken two of them, but the middle one was 
empty. Alice sat down in it, rather uncomfortable 
at the silence, and longing for some one to speak. 

At last the Red Queen began. " You Ve 
missed the soup and fish," she said. "Put on 
the joint ! " And the waiters set a leg of mutton 
before Alice, who- looked at it rather anxiously, 
as she had never had to carve a joint before. 



QUEEN ALICE. 205 

" You look a little shy ; let me introduce 
you to that leg of mutton," said the Eed Queen. 

"Alice Mutton; 

Mutton- 



- Alice." 
The leg of mutton 
got up in the dish 
and made a little 
bow to Alice ; and 
Alice returned the 
bow, not knowing 
whether to be fright- 
ened or amused. 

" May I give 
you a slice ? " she 
said, taking up the 
knife and fork, and 
looking from one Queen to the other. 

"Certainly not," the Eed Queen said, very 
decidedly : " it isn't etiquette to cut any one 
you've been introduced to. Eemove the joint!" 
And the waiters carried it off, and brought a 
large plum-pudding in its place. 




206 QUEEN ALICE. 

" I won't be introduced to the pudding, 
please," Alice said rather hastily, " or we shall 
get no dinner at all. May I give you some ? " 

But the Eed Queen looked sulky, and growled 

"Pudding- Alice; Alice Pudding. Eemove 

the pudding ! " and the waiters took it away 
so quickly that Alice couldn't return its bow. 

However, she didn't see why the Eed Queen 
should be the only one to give orders, so, as 
an experiment, she called out " Waiter ! Bring 
back the pudding ! " and there it was again in 
a moment, like a conjuring- trick. It was so 
large that she couldn't help feeling a little shy 
with it, as she had been with the mutton ; how- 
ever, she conquered her shyness by a great effort, 
and cut a slice and handed it to the Eed Queen. 

" What impertinence ! " said the Pudding. " I 
wonder how you'd like it, if I were to cut a 
slice out of you, you creature!" 

It spoke in a thick, suety sort of voice, 
and Alice hadn't a word to say in reply : she 
could only sit and look at it and gasp. 



QUEEN ALICE. 207" 

" Make a remark," said the Ked Queen : " it 'b 
ridiculous to leave all the conversation to the 
pudding ! " 

" Do you know, I 've had such a quantity 
of poetry repeated to me to-day," Alice began, 
a little frightened at finding that, the moment 
she opened her lips, there was dead silence, 
and all eyes were fixed upon her; "and it's a 

very curious thing, I think every poem was 

about fishes in some way. Do you know why 
they 're so fond of fishes, all about here % " 

She spoke to the Red Queen, whose answer 
was a little wide of the mark. " As to fishes," 
she said, very slowly and solemnly, putting her 
mouth close to Alice's ear, "her White Majesty 

knows a lovely riddle- —all in poetry all 

about fishes. Shall she repeat it ? " 

"Her Red Majesty's very kind to mention 
it," the White Queen murmured into Alice's other 
ear, in a voice like the cooing of a pigeon. "It 
would be such a treat ! May IV 

" Please do," Alice said very politely. 



208 QUEEN ALICE. 

The White Queen laughed with delight, and 
stroked Alice's cheek. Then she began : 

" ' First, the fish must be caught! 
That is easy: a baby, I think, could have caught it. 

'Next, the fish must be bought.' 1 
That is easy : a penny, I think, would have bought it. 

' Now cook me the fish ! ' 
That is easy, and will not take more than a minute. 

' Let it lie in a dish ! ' 
That is easy, because it already is in it. 

' Bring it here ! Let me sup ! ' 
Lt is easy to set such a dish on the table. 

' Take the dish-cover up ! ' 
Ah, that is so hard that L fear L'm unable ! 

For it holds it like glue 

Holds the lid to the dish, while it lies in the middle : 

Which is easiest to do, 
Un-dish-cover the fish, or dishcovcr the riddle ? " 



QUEEN ALICE. 2(H) 

" Take a minute to think about it, and then 
guess," said the Red Queen. "Meanwhile, we'll 

drink your health Queen Alice's health ! " she 

screamed at the top of her voice, and all the 
guests began drinking it directly, and very 
queerly they managed it : some of them put 
their glasses upon their heads like extinguishers, 

and drank all that trickled down their faces 

others upset the decanters, and drank the wine 

as it ran off the edges of the table and three 

of them (who looked like kangaroos) scrambled 
into the dish of roast mutton, and began eagerly 
lapping up the gravy, "just like pigs in a 
trough ! " thought Alice. 

"You ought to return thanks in a neat 
speech," the Red Queen said, frowning at Alice 
as she spoke. 

"We must support you, you know," the 
White Queen whispered, as Alice got up to do 
it, very obediently, but a little frightened. 

" Thank you very much," she whispered in 
reply, "but I can do quite -Well without." 



210 QUEEN ALICE. 

" That wouldn't be at all the thing," the 
Red Queen said very decidedly : so Alice tried 
to submit to it with a good grace. 

(" And they did push so ! " she said after- 
wards, when she was telling her sister the 
history of the feast. " You would have thought 
they wanted to squeeze me flat ! ") 

In fact it was rather difficult for her to 
keep in her place while she made her speech : 
the two Queens pushed her so, one on each side, 
that they nearly lifted her up into the air : 

" I rise to return thanks " Alice began : 

and she really did rise as she spoke, several 
inches ; but she got hold of the edge of the 
table, and managed to pull herself down again. 

"Take care of yourself!" screamed the White 
Queen, seizing Alice's hair with both her hands. 
" Something 's going to happen ! " 

And then (as Alice afterwards described it) 
all sorts of things happened in a moment. The 
candles all grew up to the ceiling, looking some- 
thing like a bed of rushes with fireworks at 



QUEEN ALICE. 211 

the top. As to the bottles, they each took a 
pair of plates, which they hastily fitted on as 
wings, and so, with forks for legs, went flutter- 
ing about in all directions : " and very like birds 
they look,'"' Alice thought to herself, as well as 
she could in the dreadful confusion that was 
beginning. 

At this moment she heard a hoarse laugh 
at her side, and turned to see what was the 
matter with the White Queen; but, instead of 
the Queen, there was the leg of mutton sitting 
in the chair. " Here I am ! " cried a voice 
from the soup-tureen, and Alice turned again, 
just in time to see the Queen's broad good- 
natured face grinning at her for a moment over 
the edge of the tureen, before she disappeared 
into the soup. 

There was not a moment to be lost. Already 
several of the guests were lying down in the 
dishes, and the soup-ladle was walking up the 
table towards Alice's chair, and beckoning to her 
impatiently to get out of its way. 

p 2 



212 



QUEEN ALICE. 



" I can't stand 
this any longer ! " 
she cried as she 
j limped up and 
seized the table- 
cloth with both 
hands : one good 
pull, and plates, 
dishes, guests, and 




QUEEN ALICE. 213 

candles came crashing down together in a heap 
on the floor. 

"And as for you" she went on, turning 
fiercely upon the Eed Queen, whom she con- 
sidered as the cause of all the mischief — —but 

the Queen was no longer at her side she had 

suddenly dwindled down to the size of a little 
doll, and was now on the table, merrily running 
round and round after her own shawl, which 
was trailing behind her. 

At any other time, Alice would have felt 
surprised at this, but she was far too much 
excited to be surprised at anything now. " As 
for you," she repeated, catching hold of the little 
creature in the very act of jumping over a bottle 
which had just lighted upon the table, " I '11 
shake you into a kitten, that I will ! " 



CHAPTER X. 



SHAKING. 



She took her off the table as she spoke, and 
shook her backwards and forwards with all her 
might. 

The Eed Queen made no resistance whatever ; 
only her face grew very small, and her eyes 
got large and green : and still, as Alice went 
on shaking her, she kept on growing shorter 

and fatter and softer and rounder 

and 



CHAPTER XL 



WAKING. 



-and it really was a kitten, after all. 



CHAPTER XII. 

WHICH DREAMED IT ? 

"Your Bed Majesty shouldn't purr so loud/' 
Alice said, rubbing her eyes, and addressing the 
kitten, respectfully, yet with some severity. 
" You woke me out of oh ! such a nice dream ! 

And you Ve been along with me, Kitty all 

through the Looking-Glass world. Did you know 
it, dear % " 

It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens 
(Alice had once made the remark) that, what- 
ever you say to them, they always purr. " If 
they would only purr for 'yes,' and mew for 
'no/ or any rule of that sort," she had said, 



WHICH DREAMED IT \ 219 

"so that one could keep up a conversation! But 
how can you talk with a person if they always 
say the same thing ? " 

On this occasion the kitten only purred : 
and it was impossible to guess whether it meant 
'yes' or 'no/ 

So Alice hunted among the chessmen on the 
table till she had found the Eed Queen : then 
she went down on her knees on the hearth-rug, 
and put the kitten and the Queen to look at 
each other. " Now, Kitty ! " she cried, clapping 
her hands triumphantly. " Confess that was 
what you turned into ! " 

(" But it wouldn 't look at it," she said, 
when she was explaining the thing afterwards to 
her sister : "it turned away its head, and pre- 
tended not to see it : but it looked a little 
ashamed of itself, so I think it must have been 
the Eed Queen.") 

" Sit up a little more stiffly, dear ! " Alice 
cried with a merry laugh. " And curtsey while 
you're thinking what to what to purr. It 



220 



WHICH DREAMED IT ? 



saves time, remember ! " And she caught it up 
and gave it one little kiss, "just in honour of its 
having been a Red Queen." 




" Snowdrop, my pet ! " she went on, looking 
over her shoulder at the White Kitten, which 
was still patiently undergoing its toilet, " when 
will Dinah have finished with your White Ma- 
jesty, I wonder % That must be the reason you 



WHICH DKEAMED IT? 221 

were so untidy in my dream. Dinah ! Do 

you know that you 're scrubbing a White Queen ? 
Keally, it 's most disrespectful of you ! 

" And what did Dinah turn to, I wonder ? " 
she prattled on, as she settled comfortably down, 
with one elbow on the rug, and her chin in her 
hand, to watch the kittens. "Tell me, Dinah, 
did you turn to Humpty Dumpty 1 I think 

you did however, you'd better not mention 

it to your friends just yet, for I 'm not sure. 

" By the way, Kitty, if only you 'd been 
really with me in my dream, there was one 

thing you ivould have enjoyed 1 had such 

a quantity of poetry said to me, all about 
fishes ! To-morrow morning you shall have a 
real treat. All the time you 're eating your 
breakfast, I '11 repeat ' The Walrus and the Car- 
penter ' to you ; and then you can make believe 
it 's oysters, dear ! 

"Now, Kitty, let's consider who it was that 
dreamed it all. This is a serious question, my 
dear, and you should not go on licking your 



222 WHICH DREAMED IT ? 

paw like that as if Dinah hadn't washed 

you this morning ! You see, Kitty, it must 
have been either me or the Eed King. He 

was part of my dream, of course ^-but then 

I was part of his dream, too ! Was it the Red 
King, Kitty ? You were his wife, my dear, 

so you ought to know Oh, Kitty, do help 

to settle it ! T 'm sure your paw can wait ! " 
But the provoking kitten only began on the 
other paw, and pretended it hadn't heard the 
question. 

Which do you think it was ? 



223 



A boat, beneath a sunny sky. 
Lingering onward dreamily 
In an evening of July 



Children three that nestle near. 
Eager eye and willing ear, 
Pleased a simple tale to hear — 



Long has paled that sunny sky : 
Echoes fade and memories die : 
Autumn frosts have slain July. 

Still she haunts me, phantomwise, 
Alice moving under skies 
Never seen by waking eyes. 



224 

Children yet, the tale to hear, 
Eager eye and willing ear, 
Lovingly shall nestle near. 



In a Wonderland they lie, 
Dreaming as the days go hy, 
Dreaming as the summers die 



Ever drifting down the stream- 
Lingering in the golden gleam- 
Life, what is it hut a dream? 



THE END. 



[TURN OYER, 



WORKS BY LEWIS CARROLL. 



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