THE TINTED VENUS
"THERE," HE SAID TRIUMPHANTLY, "IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN
MADE FOR HER !"
Frontispiece.] {Page 25.
THE TINTED VENUS
H farcical "Romance
BY
F. ANSTEY
AUTHOR OP
THE GIANT S KOBE," "VICE VERSA," ETC.
ILLUSTRATED BY BERNARD PARTRIDGE
NEW YORK AND LONDON
HARPER AND BROTHERS
PUBLISHERS
1898
" To you,
Free and ingenious spirits, he doth now
In me, present his service, with his vow
lie hath done his best j and, though he cannot glory
In his invention (this work being a story
Of reverend antiquity), he doth hope
In the proportion of it, and the scope,
You may observe some pieces drawn like one
Of a steadfast hand ; and with the whiter stone
To be marked in your fair censures. More than this
I am forbid to promise."
MASSINGER.
CONTENTS.
PAGE
I. IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE ... ... ... 3
II. PLEASURE IN PURSUIT ... ... ... 2 7
III. A DISTINGUISHED STRANGER ... ... ... 43
IV. FROM BAD TO WORSE ... ... ... 55
V. AN EXPERIMENT ... ... ... 77
VI. Two ARE COMPANY ... ... ... 93
VII. A FURTHER PREDICAMENT ... ... ... 109
VIII. BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA 127
IX. AT LAST ! ... ... I 5 I
X. DAMOCLES DINES OUT ... l6 9
XI. DENOUNCED ... ... ^9
XII. AN APPEAL ... - 2 7
XIII. THE LAST STRAW ... ... 22 7
XIV. THE THIRTEENTH TRUMT... 2 4*
XV. THE ODD TRICK ... ... 26 3
340112
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.
PAGE
"THERE," HE SAID TRIUMPHANTLY, "IT MIGHT HAVE
BEEN MADE FOR HER !" ... ... Frontispiece
"ANSWER ME," HE SAID ROUGHLY; "is THIS SOME LARK
OF YOURS?" ... ... ... ... ... 32
"DID YOU WANT TO SEE ME ON ON BUSINESS, MUM ?" 47
"WHAT WOULD BE DONE TO HIM?" ASKED THE HAIR
DRESSER, WITH A QUITE UNPLEASANT INTERNAL
SENSATION ... ... ... ... ... 67
"KEEP OFF! TELL HER TO DROP IT, TWEDDLE!" ... 86
" IT is A MISERABLE THING," HE WAS THINKING, "FOR
A MAN ... TO HAVE A FEMALE STATUE TROTTING
AFTER HIM LIKE A GREAT DORG " ... ... 104
SHE WAS STANDING BEFORE THE LOW CHIMNEY-GLASS,
REGARDING HERSELF INTENTLY ... ... ... IIQ
" FOR ARF A PINT I D KNOCK YOUR BLOOMIN Eo IN ! " 140
"WHY DID YOU NOT KNEEL TO ME BEFORE?" ... l6l
SHE STRUCK A NAMELESS FEAR INTO LEANDER S SOUL... 177
HER HANDS WERE UNSTEADY WITH PASSION AS SHE TIED
HER BONNET-STRINGS ... ... ... ... 199
LEANDER WENT DOWN ON ALL FOURS ON THE HEARTH
RUG ... ... ... ... ... ... 220
"STOP WHERE YOU ARE! . . . FOR MERCY S SAKE,
DON T COME IN !" ... ... ... ... 238
"LEANDER!" SHE CRIED, ... "I DON T BELIEVE SHE
CAN DO IT!" ... ... ... ... ... 255
HE THREW HIMSELF DOWN BY HER ClIAIR, AND DREW
DOWN THE HANDS IN WHICH SHE HAD HIDDEN HER
FACE ... ... ... ... ... ... 276
IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE
IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE.
"Ther hopped Hawkyn,
Ther daunsed Dawkyn,
Ther trumped Tomkyn ..."
The Tournament of Tottenham.
IN Southampton Row, Bloomsbury, there is a small
alley or passage leading into Queen Square, and rendered
inaccessible to all but foot passengers by some iron posts.
The shops in this passage are of a subdued exterior, and
are overshadowed by a dingy old edifice dedicated to
St. George the Martyr, which seems to have begun its
existence as a rather handsome chapel, and to have
improved itself, by a sort of evolution, into a singularly
ugly church.
Into this alley, one Saturday afternoon late in October,
came a short stout young man, with sandy hair, and a
perpetual grin denoting anticipation rather than enjoy
ment. Opposite the church he stopped at a hairdresser s
shop, which bore the name of Tweddle. The display in
the window was chastely severe ; the conventional half-
lady revolving slowly in fatuous self-satisfaction, and the
gentleman bearing a piebald beard with waxen resigna
tion, were not to be found in this shop-front, which
exhibited nothing but a small pile of toilet remedies and
a few lengths of hair of graduated tints. It was doubtful,
5
THE TINTED VENUS.
perhaps, whether such self-restraint on the part of its
.proprietor was the result of a distaste for empty show, or
a conviction that the neighbourhood did not expect it.
Inside the shop there was nobody but a small boy,
corking and labelling bottles ; but before he could
answer any question as to the whereabouts of his
employer, that artist made his appearance. Leander
Tweddle was about thirty, of middle height, with a
luxuriant head of brown hair, and carefully-trimmed
whiskers that curled round towards his upper lip, where
they spent themselves in a faint moustache. His eyes
were rather small, and his nose had a decided upward
tendency ; but, with his pink-and-white complexion and
compact well-made figure, he was far from ill-looking,
though he thought himself even farther.
" Well, Jauncy," he said, after the first greetings, " so
you haven t forgot our appointment ? "
" Why, no," explained his friend ; " but I never
thought I should get away in time to keep it. We ve
been in court all the morning with motions and short
causes, and the old Vice sat on till past three ; and when
we did get back to chambers, Splitter kep me there dis
cussing an opinion of his I couldn t agree with, and I
was ever so long before I got him to alter it my way."
For he was clerk to a barrister in good practice, and
it was Jauncy s pride to discover an occasional verbal
slip in some of his employer s more hastily written
opinions on cases, and suggest improvements.
" Well, James," said the hairdresser, " I don t know
that I could have got away myself any earlier. I ve been
so absorbed in the laborrit ry, what with three rejuvena-
tors and an elixir all on the simmer together, I almost
gave way under the strain of it ; but they re set to cool
now, and I m ready to go as soon as you please."
6
IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE.
" Now," said Jauncy, briskly, as they left the shop
together, " if we re to get up to Rosherwich Gardens
to-night, we mustn t dawdle."
" I just want to look in here a minute," said Tweddle,
stopping before the window of a working-jeweller, who
sat there in a narrow partition facing the light, with a
great horn lens protruding from one of his eyes like a
monstrous growth. " I left something there to be altered,
and I may as well see if it s done."
Apparently it was done, for he came out almost im
mediately, thrusting a small cardboard box into his
pocket as he rejoined his friend. " Now we d better
take a cab up to Fenchurch Street," said Jauncy. " Can t
keep those girls standing about on the platform."
As they drove along, Tweddle observed, " I didn t
understand that our party was to include the fair sect,
James ? "
" Didn t you ? I thought my letter said so plain
enough. I m an engaged man now, you know, Tweddle.
It wouldn t do if I went out to enjoy myself and left my
young lady at home ! "
" No," agreed Leander Tweddle, with a moral twinge,
" no, James. I d forgot you were engaged. What s the
lady s name, by-the-by ? "
" Parkinson ; Bella Parkinson," was the answer.
Leander had turned a deeper colour. " Did you say,"
he asked, looking out of the window on his side of the
hansom, " that there was another lady going down ? "
" Only Bella s sister, Ada. She s a regular jolly girl,
Ada is, you ll Hullo ! "
For Tweddle had suddenly thrust his stick up the trap
and stopped the cab. " I m very sorry, James," he said,
preparing to get out, " but but you ll have to excuse me
being of your company."
7
THE TINTED VENUS.
" Do you mean that my Bella and her sister are not
good enough company for you ? " demanded Jauncy.
" You were a shop-assistant yourself, Tweddle, only a
short while ago ! "
" I know that, James, I know ; and it isn t that far
from it. I m sure they are two as respectable girls, and
quite the ladies in every respect, as I d wish to meet.
Only the fact is
The driver was listening through the trap, and before
Leander would say more he told him to drive on till
further orders, after which he continued
" The fact is we haven t met for so long that I
dare say you re unaware of it but Fm engaged, James,
too ! "
" Wish you joy with all my heart, Tweddle ; but what
then ? "
" Why," exclaimed Leander, " my Matilda (that s her
name) is the dearest girl, James ; but she s most un
common partickler, and I don t think she d like my
going to a place of open-air entertainment where there s
dancing and I ll get out here, please ! "
" Gammon ! " said Jauncy. " That isn t it, Tweddle ;
don t try and humbug me. You were ready enough to
go just now. You ve a better reason than that ! "
" James, I ll tell you the truth ; I have. In earlier
days, James, I used constantly to be meeting Miss
Parkinson and her sister in serciety, and I dare say I
made myself so pleasant and agreeable (you know what a
way that is of mine), that Miss Ada (not your lady, of
course) may have thought I meant something special by
it, and there s no saying but what it might have come
in time to our keeping company, only I happened just
then to see Matilda, and and I haven t been near the
Parkinsons ever since. So you can see for yourself that
8
IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE.
a meeting might be awkward for all parties concerned ;
and I really must get out, James ! "
Jauncy forced him back. " It s all nonsense, Tweddle,"
he said, " you can t back out of it now ! Don t make a
fuss about nothing. Ada don t look as if she d been
breaking her heart for you ! "
"You never can tell with women," said the hair
dresser, sententiously ; "and meeting me sudden, and
learning it could never be no one can say how she
mightn t take it ! "
" I call it too bad ! " exclaimed Jauncy. " Here have
I been counting on you to make the ladies enjoy them
selves for I haven t your gift of entertaining conversa
tion, and don t pretend to it and you go and leave me
in the lurch, and spoil their evening for them ! "
" If I thought I was doing that " said Leander,
hesitating.
" You are, you know you are ! " persisted Jauncy, who
was naturally anxious to avoid the reduction of his
party to so inconvenient a number as three.
" And see here, Tweddle, you needn t say anything of
your engagement unless you like. I give you my word
I won t, not even to Bella, if you ll only come ! As to
Ada, she can take care of herself, unless I m very much
mistaken in her. So come along, like a good chap ! "
" I give in, James ; I give in," said Leander. " A
promise is a promise, and yet I feel somehow I m doing
wrong to go, and as if no good would come of it. I do
indeed ! "
And so he did not stop the cab a second time, and
allowed himself to be taken without further protest to
Fenchurch Street Station, on the platform of which they
found the Misses Parkinson waiting for them.
Miss Bella Parkinson, the elder of the two, who was
9
THE TINTED VENUS.
employed in a large toy and fancy goods establishment
in the neighbourhood of Westbourne Grove, was tall and
slim, with pale eyes and auburn hair. She had some
claims to good looks, in spite of a slightly pasty com
plexion, and a large and decidedly unamiable mouth.
Her sister Ada was the more pleasing in appearance
and manner, a brunette with large brown eyes, an imper
tinent little nose, and a brilliant healthy colour. She was
an assistant to a milliner and bonnet-maker in the
Edgware Road.
Both these young ladies, when in the fulfilment of
their daily duties, were models of deportment ; in their
hours of ease, the elder s cold dignity was rather apt to
turn to peevishness, while the younger sister, relieved
from the restraints of the showroom, betrayed a lively
and even frivolous disposition.
It was this liveliness and frivolity that had fascinated
the hairdresser in days that had gone by ; but if he had
felt any self-distrust now in venturing within their influence,
such apprehensions vanished with the first sight of the
charms which had been counteracted before they had
time to prevail.
She was well enough, this Miss Ada Parkinson, he
thought now; a nice-looking girl in her way, and
stylishly dressed. But his Matilda looked twice the lady
she ever could, and a vision of his betrothed (at that
time taking a week s rest in the country) rose before
him, as if to justify and confirm his preference.
The luckless James had to undergo some amount of
scolding from Miss Bella for his want of punctuality, a
scolding which merely supplied an object to his grin ;
and during her remarks, Ada had ample time to rally
Leander Tweddle upon his long neglect, and used it to
the best advantage.
10
IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE.
Perhaps he would have been better pleased by a little
less insensibility, a touch of surprise and pleasure on her
part at meeting him again, as he allowed himself to show
in a remark that his absence did not seem to have affected
her to any great extent.
" I don t know what you expected, Mr. Tweddle," she
replied. " Ought I to have cried both my eyes out ? You
haven t cried out either of yours, you know ! "
" Men must work, and women must weep, as Shak-
speare says," he observed, with a vague idea that he was
making rather an apt quotation. But his companion
pointed out that this only applied to cases where the
women had something to weep about.
The party had a compartment to themselves, and
Leander, who sat at one end opposite to Ada, found his
spirits rising under the influence of her lively sallies.
"That s the only thing Matilda wants," he thought,
" a little more liveliness and go about her. I like a little
chaff myself, now and then, I must say."
At the other end of the carriage, Bella had been sug
gesting that the gardens might be closed so late in the
year, and regretting that they had not chosen the new
melodrama at the Adelphi instead ; which caused Jauncy
to draw glowing pictures of the attractions of Rosherwich
Gardens.
" I was there a year ago last summer," he said, " and
it was first-rate : open-air dancing, summer theatre, rope-
walking, fireworks, and supper out under the trees.
You ll enjoy yourself, Bella, right enough when you get
there!"
" If that isn t enough for you, Bella," cried her sister,
" you must be difficult to please ! I m sure I m quite
looking forward to it ; aren t you, Mr. Tweddle ?
The poor man was cursed by the fatal desire of
ii
THE TINTED VENUS.
pleasing, and unconsciously threw an altogether unneces
sary degree of empressement into his voice as he replied,
" In the company I am at present, I should look forward
to it, if it was a wilderness with a funeral in it."
" Oh dear me, Mr. Tweddle, that is a pretty speech ! "
said Ada, and she blushed in a manner which appalled
the conscience-stricken hairdresser.
" There I go again," he thought remorsefully, " putting
things in the poor girl s head it ain t right. I m making
myself too pleasant ! "
And then it struck him that it would be only prudent
to make his position clearly understood, and, carefully
lowering his voice, he began a speech with that excellent
intention. " Miss Parkinson," he said huskily, " there s
something I have to tell you about myself, very particular.
Since I last enjoyed the pleasure of meeting with you my
prospects have greatly altered, I am no longer "
But she cut him short with a little gesture of entreaty.
" Oh, not here, please, Mr. Tweedle," she said ; " tell me
about it in the gardens ! "
" Very well," he said, relieved ; " remind me when
we get there in case I forget, you know."
" Remind you ! " cried Ada ; " the idea, Mr. Tweddle !
I certainly shan t do any such thing."
"She thinks I am going to propose to herl" he
thought ruefully ; " it will be a delicate business un
deceiving her. I wish it was over and done with ! "
It was quite dark by the time they had crossed the
river by the ferry, and made their way up to the entrance
to the pleasure gardens, imposing enough, with its white
colonnade, its sphinxes, and lines of coloured lamps.
But no one else had crossed with them ; and, as they
stood at the turnstiles, all they could see of the grounds
beyond seemed so dark and silent that they began to
12
IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE.
have involuntary misgivings. " I suppose," said Jauncy
to the man at the ticket-hole, " the gardens are open
eh?"
" Oh yes," he said gruffly, " they re open they re
open; though there ain t much going on out-of-doors,
being the last night of the season."
Bella again wished that they had selected the Adelphi
for their evening s pleasure, and remarked that Jauncy
" might have known."
" Well," said the latter to the party generally, " what
do you say shall we go in, or get back by the first train
home?"
" Don t be so ridiculous, James ! " said Bella, peevishly.
" What s the good of going back, to be too late for every
thing. The mischiefs done now."
" Oh, let s go in ! " advised Ada ; " the amusements
and things will be just as nice indoors nicer on a chilly
evening like this ; " and Leander seconded her heartily.
So they went in ; Jauncy leading the way with the
still complaining Bella, and Leander Tweddle bringing
up the rear with Ada. They picked their way as well as
they could in the darkness, caused by the closely planted
trees and shrubs, down a winding path, where the sopped
leaves gave a slippery foothold, and the branches flicked
moisture insultingly in their faces as they pushed them
aside.
A dead silence reigned everywhere, broken only by
the wind as it rustled amongst the bare twigs, or the
whistling of a flaring gas-torch protruding from some
convenient tree.
Jauncy occasionally shouted back some desperate
essay at jocularity, at which Ada laughed with some
perseverance, until even she could no longer resist the
influence of the surroundings.
13
THE TINTED VENUS.
On a hot summer s evening those grounds, brilliantly
illuminated and crowded by holiday-makers, have been
the delight of thousands of honest Londoners, and will
be so again ; but it was undeniable that on this particular
occasion they were pervaded by a decent melancholy.
Ada had slipped a hand, clad in crimson silk, through
Leander s arm as they groped through the gloom together,
and shrank to his side now and then in an alarm which
was only half pretended. But if her light pressure upon
his arm made his heart beat at all the faster, it was only
at the fancy that the trusting hand was his Matilda s, or
so at least did he account for it to himself after
wards.
They followed on, down a broad promenade, where
the ground glistened with autumn damps, and the un-
lighted lamps looked wan and spectral. There was a
bear-pit hard by, over the railings of which Ada leaned
and shouted a defiant " Boo ; " but the bears had turned
in for the night, and the stone re-echoed her voice with a
hollow ring. Indistinct bird forms were roosting in
cages ; but her umbrella had no effect upon them.
Jauncy was waiting for them to come up, perhaps as
a protection against his fiancee s reproaches. " In
another hour," he said, with an implied apology, " you ll
see how different this place looks. We we re come a
little too early. Suppose we fill up the time by a nice
little dinner at the Restorong eh, Ada ? What do you
think, Tweddle?"
The suggestion was received favourably, and Jauncy,
thankful to retrieve his reputation as leader, took them
towards the spot where food was to be had.
Presently they saw lights twinkling through the trees,
and came to a place which was clearly the focus of
festivity. There was the open-air theatre, its drop-scene
IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE.
lowered, its proscenium lost in the gloom ; there was the
circle for al-fresco dancing, but it was bare, and the
clustered lights were dead ; there was the restaurant,
dark and silent like all else.
Jauncy stood there and rubbed his chin. " This is
where I dined when we were here last," he said, at
length; "and a capital little dinner they gave us
too ! "
" What 7 should like to know," said the elder Miss
Parkinson, " is, where are we to dine to-night ? "
" Yes," said Jauncy, encouragingly ; " don t you fret
yourself, Bella. Here s an old party sweeping up leaves,
we ll ask him."
They did so, and were referred to a large building, in
the Gothic style, with a Tudor doorway, known as the
" Baronial All," where lights shone behind the painted
windows.
Inside, a few of the lamps around the pillars were
lighted, and the body of the floor was roped in as if for
dancing; but the hall was empty, save for a barmaid,
assisted by a sharp little girl, behind the long bar on one
of its sides.
Jauncy led his dejected little party up to this, and
again put his inquiry with less hopefulness. When he
found that the only available form of refreshment that
evening was bitter ale and captain s biscuits, mitigated
by occasional caraway seeds, he became a truly pitiable
object.
" They they don t keep this place up on the same
scale in the autumn, you see," he explained weakly.
" It s very different in summer ; what they call an end
less round of amusements. "
" There s an endless round of amusement now,"
observed Ada ; " but it s a naught ! "
15
THE TINTED VENUS.
" Oh, there ll be something going on by-and-by, never
fear," said Jauncy, determined to be sanguine ; " or else
they wouldn t be open."
" There ll be dancing here this evening," the barmaid
informed him. "That is all we open for at this time
of year ; and this is the last night of the season."
" Oh ! " said Jauncy, cheerfully ; " you see we only
came just in time, Bella ; and I suppose you ll have a
good many down here to-night eh, miss ? "
" How much did we take last Saturday, Jenny ? " said
the barmaid to the sharp little girl.
" Seven and fourpence ap ny most of it beer," said
the child. " Margaret, I may count the money again
to-night, mayn t I ? "
The barmaid made some mental calculation, after
which she replied to Jauncy s question. " We may have
some fifteen couples or so down to-night," she said;
" but that won t be for half an hour yet."
"The question is," said Jauncy, trying to bear up
under this last blow ; " the question is, How are we to
amuse ourselves till the dancing begins ? "
" I don t know what others are going to do," Bella
announced ; " but I shall stay here, James, and keep
warm if I can ! " and once more she uttered her regret
that they had not gone to the Adelphi.
Her sister declined to follow her example. " I mean
to see all there is to be seen," she declared, " since we
are here ; and perhaps Mr. Tweddle will come and take
care of me. Will you, Mr. Tweddle ? "
He was not sorry to comply, and they wandered out
together through the grounds, which offered considerable
variety. There were alleys lined with pale plaster statues,
and a grove dedicated to the master minds of the world,
represented by huge busts, with more or less appropriate
16
IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE.
quotations. There were alcoves, too, and neatly ruined
castles.
Ada talked almost the whole time in a sprightly
manner, which gave Leander no opportunity of intro
ducing the subject of his engagement, and this continued
until they had reached a small battlemented platform on
some rising ground ; below were the black masses of
trees, with a faint fringe of light here and there ; beyond
lay the Thames, in which red and white reflections
quivered, and from whose distant bends and reaches
came the dull roar of fog-horns and the pantings of tugs.
Ada stood here in silence for some time ; at last she
said, " After all, I m not sorry we came are you ? "
" If I don t take care what I say, I may be ! " he
thought, and answered guardedly, " On the contrary, I m
glad, for it gives me the opportunity of telling you some
thing I I think you ought to know."
" What was he going to say next ? " she thought.
Was a declaration coming, and if so, should she accept
him ? She was not sure ; he had behaved very badly in
keeping so long away from her, and a proposal would be
a very suitable form of apology; but there was the
gentleman who travelled for a certain firm in the Edgware
Road, he had been very " particular " in his attentions of
late. Well, she would see how she felt when Leander
had spoken ; he was beginning to speak now.
" I don t want to put it too abrupt," he said ; " I ll
come to it gradually. There s a young lady that I m now
looking forward to spending the whole of my future life
with."
"And what is she called?" asked Ada. ("He s
rather a nice little man, after all ! " she was thinking.)
" Matilda," he said ; and the answer came like a blow
in the face. For the moment she hated him as bitterly
THE TINTED VENUS.
as if he had been all the world to her ; but she carried
off her mortification by a rather hysterical laugh.
" Fancy you being engaged ! " she said, by way of
explanation of her merriment ; " and to any one with the
name of Matilda it s such a stupid sounding sort of
name ! "
" It ain t at all ; it all depends how you say it. If you
pronounce it like I do, Matilda^ it has rather a pretty
sound. You try now."
" Well, we won t quarrel about it, Mr. Tweddle ; I m
glad it isn t my name, that s all. And now tell me all
about your young lady. What s her other name, and is
she very good-looking ? "
" She s a Miss Matilda Collum," said he ; " she is
considered handsome by competent judges, and she keeps
the books at a florist s in the vicinity of Bayswater."
"And, if it isn t a rude question, why didn t you bring
her with you this evening ? "
" Because she s away for a short holiday, and isn t
coming back till the last thing to-morrow night."
" And I suppose you ve been wishing I was Matilda
all the time ? " she said audaciously ; for Miss Ada
Parkinson was not an over-scrupulous young person, and
did not recognize in the fact of her friend s engagement
any reason why she should not attempt to reclaim his
vagrant admiration.
Leander had been guilty of this wish once or twice ;
but though he was not absolutely overflowing with tact,
he did refrain from admitting the impeachment.
" Well, you see," he said, in not very happy evasion,
" Matilda doesn t care about this kind of thing ; she s
rather particular, Matilda is."
" And I m not ! " said Ada. " I see ; thank you,
Mr. Tweddle!"
18
IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE.
" You do take one up so ! " he complained. " I never
intended nothing of the sort far from it."
" Well, then, I forgive you ; we can t all be Matildas,
I suppose. And now, suppose we go back ; they will be
beginning to dance by now ! "
" With pleasure," he said ; " only you must excuse
me dancing, because, as an engaged man, I have had to
renounce (except with one person) the charms of Terpsy-
chore. I mean," he explained condescendingly, "that I
can t dance in public save with my intended."
" Ah, well," said Ada, " perhaps Terpsy-chore will
get over it ; still I should like to see the Terpsy-choring,
if you have no objection."
And they returned to the Baronial Hall, which by this
time presented a more cheerful appearance. The lamps
round the mirror-lined pillars were all lit, and the musicians
w r ere just striking up the opening bars of the Lancers ;
upon which several gentlemen amongst the assembly,
which now numbered about forty, ran out into the open
and took up positions, like colour-sergeants at drill, to
be presently joined, in some bashfulness, by such ladies
as desired partners.
The Lancers were performed with extreme conscien
tiousness; and when it was over, every gentleman with
any savoir faire to speak of presented his partner with a
glass of beer.
Then came a waltz, to which Ada beat time impatiently
with her foot, and bit her lip, as she had to look on by
Leander s side.
"There s Bella and James going round," she said;
" I ve never had to sit out a waltz before ! "
He felt the implied reproach, and thought whether
there could be any harm, after all, in taking a turn or
two ; it would be only polite. But, before he could recant
19 c
THE TINTED VENUS.
in words, a soldier came up, a medium-sized warrior with
a large nose and round little eyes, who had been very
funny during the Lancers in directing all the figures by
words of military command.
" Will you allow me the honour, miss, of just one
round ? " he said to Ada, respectfully enough.
The etiquette of this ballroom was not of the strictest ;
but she would not have consented but for the desire of
showing Leander that she was not dependent upon him
for her amusement. As it was, she accepted the corporal s
arm a little defiantly.
Leander watched them round the hall with an odd
sensation, almost of jealousy it was quite ridiculous,
because he could have danced with Ada himself had he
cared to do so ; and besides, it was not she, but Matilda,
whom he adored.
But, as he began to notice, Ada was looking remark
ably pretty that evening, and really was a partner who
would bring any one credit ; and her corporal danced
villainously, revolving with stiff and wooden jerks, like
a toy soldier. Now Leander flattered himself he could
waltz having had considerable practice in bygone days
in a select assembly, where the tickets were two shillings
each, and the gentlemen, as the notices said ambiguously
enough, " were restricted to wearing gloves."
So he felt indignantly that Ada was not having
justice done to her. " I ve a good mind to give her
a turn," he thought, " and show them all what waltz
ing is ! "
Just then the pair happened to come to a halt close
to him. " Shockin time they re playing this waltz in,"
he heard the soldier exclaim with humorous vivacity
(he was apparently the funny man of the regiment,
and had brought a silent but appreciative comrade with
20
IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE.
him as audience), " abominable ! excruciatin ! comic ! !
orrible ! ! ! "
Leander seized the opportunity. " Excuse me," he
said politely, " but if you don t like the music, perhaps
you wouldn t mind giving up this young lady to me ? "
" Oh come, I say ! " said the man of war, running
his fingers through his short curly hair ; " my good feller,
you d better see what the lady says to that ! " (He
evidently had no doubt himself.)
" I m very well content as I am, thank you all the
same, Mr. Tweddle," said Ada, unkindly adding in a
lower tone, " If you re so anxious to dance, dance with
Terpsy-chore ! "
And again he was left to watch the whirling couples
with melancholy eyes. The corporal s brother-in-arms
was wheeling round with a plain young person, apparently
in domestic service, whose face was overspread by a
large red smile of satiated ambition. James and Bella
flitted by, dancing vigorously, and Bella s discontent
seemed to have vanished for the time. There were
jigging couples and prancing couples ; couples that
bounced round like imprisoned bees, and couples that
glided past in calm and conscious superiority. He alone
stood apart, excluded from the happy throng, and he
began to have a pathetic sense of injury.
But the music stopped at last, and Ada, dismissing
her partner, came towards him. " You don t seem to be
enjoying yourself, Mr. Tweddle," she said maliciously.
" Don t I ? " he replied. " Well, so long as you are,
it don t matter, Miss Parkinson it don t matter."
"But I m not at least, I didn t that dance," she
said. " That soldier man did talk such rubbish, and he
trod on my feet twice. I m so hot ! I wonder if it s
cooler outside ? "
21
THE TINTED VENUS.
" Will you come and sec ? " he suggested, and this
time she did not disdain his arm, and they strolled out
together.
Following a path they had hitherto left unexplored,
they came to a little enclosure surrounded by tall shrubs ;
in the centre, upon a low pedestal, stood a female statue,
upon which a gas lamp, some paces off, cast a flickering
gleam athwart the foliage.
The exceptional grace and beauty of the figure would
have been apparent to any lover of art. She stood there,
her right arm raised, partly in gracious invitation, partly
in queenly command, her left hand extended, palm down
wards, as if to be reverentially saluted. The hair was
parted in boldly indicated waves over the broad low brow,
and confined by a fillet in a large loose knot at the back.
She was clad in a long chiton, which lapped in soft zig
zag folds over the girdle and fell to the feet in straight
parallel lines, and a chlamys hanging from her shoulders
concealed the left arm to the elbow, while it left the right
arm free.
In the uncertain light one could easily fancy soft eyes
swimming in those wide blank sockets, and the ripe lips
were curved by a dreamy smile, at once tender and dis
dainful.
Leander Tweddle and Miss Ada Parkinson, however,
stood before the statue in an unmoved, not to say critical,
mood.
" Who s she supposed to be, I wonder ? " asked the
young lady, rather as if the sculptor were a harmless
lunatic whose delusions took a marble shape occasionally.
This, by the way, is a question which may frequently be
heard in picture galleries, and implies an enlightened
tolerance.
" I don t know," said Leander ; " a foreign female,
22
IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE.
I fancy that s Russian on the pedestal." He inferred
this from a resemblance to the characters on certain
packets of cigarettes.
" But there s some English underneath," said Ada ;
" I can just make it out. Ap Apro Aprodyte. What
a funny name ! "
" You haven t prenounced it quite correckly," he
said ; " out there they sound the ph like a f, and give
all the syllables Afroddity." He felt a kind of intuition
that this was nearer the correct rendering.
" Well," observed Ada, " she s got a silly look, don t
you think ? "
Leander was less narrow, and gave it as his opinion
that she had been " done from a fine woman."
Ada remarked that she herself would never consent
to be taken in so unbecoming a costume. " One might
as well have no figure at all in things hanging down for
all the world like a sack," she said.
Proceeding to details, she was struck by the smallness
of the hands; and it must be admitted that, although
the statue as a whole was slightly above the average
female height, the arms from the elbow downwards, and
particularly the hands, were by no means in proportion,
and almost justified Miss Parkinson s objection, that " no
woman could have hands so small as that."
" I know some one who has quite as small," said
he softly.
Ada instantly drew off one of the crimson gloves and
held out her hand beside the statue s. It was a well-
shaped hand, as she very well knew, but it was decidedly
larger than the one with which she compared it. " I
said so," she observed ; " now are you satisfied, Mr.
Tweddle?"
But he had been thinking of a hand more slender
23
THE TINTED VENUS.
and dainty than hers, and allowed himself to admit as
much. " I I wasn t meaning you at all," he said
bluntly.
She laughed a little jarring laugh. " Oh, Matilda, of
course ! Nobody is like Matilda now ! But come, Mr.
Tweddle, you re not going to stand there and tell me
that this wonderful Matilda of yours has hands no bigger
than those ? "
" She has been endowed with quite remarkable small
hands," said he ; " you wouldn t believe it without seeing.
It so happens," he added suddenly, " that I can give you
a very fair ideer of the size they are, for I ve got a ring of
hers in my pocket at this moment. It came about this
way : my aunt (the same that used to let her second
floor to James, and that Matilda lodges with at present),
my aunt, as soon as she heard of our being engaged,
nothing would do but I must give Matilda an old ring
with a posy inside it, that was in our family, and we soon
found the ring was too large to keep on, and I left it
with old Vidler, near my place of business, to be made
tighter, and called for it on my way here this very after
noon, and fortunately enough it was ready."
He took out the ring from its bed of pink cotton
wool, and offered it to Miss Parkinson.
" You see if you can get it on," he said ; " try the
little finger ! "
She drew back, offended. " / don t want to try it,
thank you," she said (she felt as if she might fling it into
the bushes if she allowed herself to touch it). " If you
must try it on somebody, there s the statue ! You ll find
no difficulty in getting it on any of her fingers or thumbs,"
she added.
" You shall see," said Leander. " My belief is, it s too
small for her, if anything."
24
IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE.
He was a true lover ; anxious to vindicate his lady s
perfections before all the world, and perhaps to convince
himself that his estimate was not exaggerated. The
proof was so easy, the statue s left hand hung temptingly
within his reach ; he accepted the challenge, and slipped
the ring up the third finger, that was slightly raised as if
to receive it. The hand struck no chill, so moist and
mild was the evening, but felt warm and almost soft in
his grasp.
" There," he said triumphantly, " it might have been
made for her ! "
" Well," said Ada, not too consistently, " I never said
it mightn t ! "
" Excuse me," said he, " but you said it would be too
large for her ; and, if you ll believe me, it s as much as I
can do to get it off her finger, it fits that close."
" Well, make haste and get it off, Mr. Tweddle, do,"
said Ada, impatiently. " I ve stayed out quite long
enough."
" In one moment," he replied ; " it s quite a job, I
declare, quite a job ! "
" Oh, you men are so clumsy ! " cried Ada. " Let
me try."
" No, no ! " he said, rather irritably ; " I can manage
it," and he continued to fumble.
At last he looked over his shoulder and said, " It s a
singler succumstance, but I can t get the ring past the
bend of the finger."
Ada was cruel enough to burst out laughing. " It s
a judgment upon you, Mr. Tweddle ! " she cried.
" You dared me to it ! " he retorted. " It isn t friendly
of you, I must say, Miss Parkinson, to set there enjoying
of it it s bad taste ! "
"Well, then, I m very sorry, Mr. Tweddle; I won t
25
THE TINTED VENUS.,
laugh any more ; but, for goodness sake, take me back to
the Hall now."
" It s coming ! " he said ; " I m working it over the
joint now it s coming quite easily."
" But I can t wait here while it comes," she said. " Do
you want me to go back alone ? You re not very polite
to me this evening, I must say."
" What am I to do ? " he said distractedly. " This
ring is my engagement ring; it s valuable. I can t go
away without it ! "
"The statue won t run away you can come back
again, by-and-by. You don t expect me to spend the
rest of the evening out here ? I never thought you could
be rude to a lady, Mr. Tweddle."
" No more I can," he said. " Your wishes, Miss
Ada, are equivocal to commands ; allow me the honour
of reconducting you to the Baronial Hall."
He offered his arm in his best manner ; she took it,
and together they passed out of the enclosure, leaving
the statue in undisturbed possession of the ring.
PLEASURE IN PURSUIT
PLEASURE IN PURSUIT.
II.
"And you, great sculptor, so you gave
A score of years to Art, her slave,
And that s your Venus, whence we turn
To yonder girl "
ANOTHER waltz had just begun as they re-entered
the Baronial Hall, and Ada glanced up at her companion
from her daring brown eyes. " What would you say if
I told you you might have this dance with me ? " she
inquired.
The hairdresser hesitated for just one moment. He
had meant to leave her there and go back for his ring ;
but the waltz they were playing was a very enticing one.
Ada was looking uncommonly pretty just then ; he could
get the ring equally well a few minutes later.
" I should take it very kind of you," he said, grate
fully, at length.
" Ask for it, then," said Ada ; and he did ask for it.
He forgot Matilda and his engagement for the
moment ; he sacrificed all his scruples about dancing in
public; but he somehow failed to enjoy this pleasure,
illicit though it was.
For one thing, he could not long keep Matilda out of
his thoughts. He was doing nothing positively wrong ;
still, it was undeniable that she would not approve of his
29
THE TINTED VENUS.
being there at all, still less if she knew that the gold ring
given to him by his aunt for the purposes of his betrothal
had been left on the finger of a foreign statue, and
exposed to the mercy of any passer-by, while he waltzed
with a bonnet-maker s assistant.
And his conscience was awakened still further by
the discovery that Ada was a somewhat disappointing
partner. " She s not so light as she used to be," he
thought, "and then she jumps. I d forgotten she
jumped."
Before the waltz was nearly over he led her back to
a chair, alleging as his excuse that he was afraid to
abandon his ring any longer, and hastened away to the
spot where it was to be found.
He went along the same path, and soon came to an
enclosure ; but no sooner had he entered it than he saw
that he must have mistaken his way; this was not the
right place. There was no statue in the middle.
He was about to turn away, when he saw something
that made him start ; it was a low pedestal in the centre,
with the same characters upon it that he had read with
Ada. It was the place, after all ; yes, he could not be
mistaken ; he knew it now.
Where was the statue which had so lately occupied
that pedestal ? Had it fallen over amongst the bushes ?
He felt about for it in vain. It must have been removed
for some purpose while he had been dancing; but by
whom, and why ?
The best way to find out would be to ask some one
in authority. The manager was in the Baronial Hall,
officiating as M.C. ; he would go and inquire whether
the removal had been by his orders.
He was fortunate enough to catch him as he was
coming out of the hall, and he seized him by the arm with
30
"ANSWER ME," HE SAID ROUGHLY; "is THIS SOME LARK
OF YOURS?" [Pag* S3-
PLEASURE IN PURSUIT.
nervous haste. " Mister," he began, " if you ve found
one of your plaster figures with a gold ring on, it s mine.
I I put it on in a joking kind of way, and I had to
leave it for awhile ; and now, when I come back for it,
it s gone ! "
" I m sorry to hear it, sir," returned the manager ;
" but really, if you will leave gold rings on our statues,
we can t be responsible, you know."
" But you ll excuse me," pursued Leander ; " I don t
think you quite understood me. It isn t only the ring
that s gone it s the statue ; and if you ve had it put up
anywhere else "
" Nonsense ! " said the manager ; " we don t move our
statues about like chessmen ; you ve forgotten where you
left it, that s all. What was the statue like ? "
Leander described it as well as he could, and the
manager, with a somewhat altered manner, made him
point out the spot where he believed it to have stood,
and they entered the grove together.
The man gave one rapid glance at the vacant
pedestal, and then gripped Leander by the shoulder, and
looked at him long and hard by the feeble light.
" Answer me," he said, roughly ; " is this some lark of
yours ? "
" I look larky, don t I ? " said poor Tweedle, dolefully.
" I thought you d be sure to know where it was."
" I wish to heaven I did ! " cried the manager,
passionately ; " it s those impudent blackguards. . . .
They ve done it under my very nose ! "
" If it s any of your men," suggested Leander, " can t
you make them put it back again ? "
" It s not any of my men. I was warned, and, like a
fool, I wouldn t believe it could be done at a time like
this ; and now it s too late, and what am I to say to the
33
THE TINTED VENUS.
inspector ? I wouldn t have had this happen for a
thousand pounds ! "
" Well, it s kind of you to feel so put out about it,"
said Leander. " You see, what makes the ring so
valuable to me "
The manager was pacing up and down impatiently,
entirely ignoring his presence.
" I say," Tvveddle repeated, " the reason why that
ring s of partickler importance "
" Oh, don t bother me ! " said the other, shaking him
off. " I don t want to be uncivil, but I ve got to think
this out. . . . Infernal rascals ! " lie went on muttering.
" Have the goodness to hear what I ve got to say,
though," persisted Leander. " I m mixed up in this,
whether you like it or not. You seem to know who s got
this figure, and I ve a right to be told too. I won t go
till I get that ring back ; so now you understand me ! "
" Confound you and your ring ! " said the manager.
" What s the good of coming bully-ragging me about your
ring ? / can t get you your ring ! You shouldn t have
been fool enough to put it on one of our statues. You
make me talk to you like this, coming bothering when
I ve enough on my mind as it is ! Hang it ! Can t you
see I m as anxious to get that statue again as ever you
can be ? If I don t get it, I may be a ruined man, for
all I know ; ain t that enough for you ? Look here, take
my advice, and leave me alone before we have words
over this. You give me your name and address, and you
may rely on hearing from me as soon as anything turns
up. You can do no good to yourself or any one else by
making a row ; so go away quiet like a sensible chap ! "
Leander felt stunned by the blow; evidently there
was nothing to be done but follow the manager s advice.
He went to the office with him, and gave his name and
34
PLEASURE IN PURSUIT.
address in full, and then turned back alone to the
dancing-hall.
He had lost his ring no ordinary trinket which he
could purchase anywhere, but one for which he would
have to account and to whom ? To his aunt and
Matilda. How could he tell, when there was even a
chance of seeing it again ?
If only he had not allowed himself that waltz ; if only
he had insisted upon remaining by the statue until his
ring was removed; if only he had not been such an
idiot as to put it on ! None of these acts were wrong
exactly ; but between them they had brought him to this.
And the chief person responsible was Miss Ada
Parkinson, whom he dared not reproach; for he was
naturally unwilling that this last stage of the affair should
become known. He would have to dissemble, and he
rejoined his party with what he intended for a jaunty
air.
" We ve been waiting for you to go away," said Bella.
" Where have you been all this time ? "
He saw with relief that Ada did not appear to have
mentioned the statue, and so he said he had been
" strolling about."
"And Ada left to take care of herself!" said Bella,
spitefully. "You are polite, Mr. Tweddle, I must
say!"
" I haven t complained, Bella, that I know of," said
Ada. " And Mr. Tweddle and I quite understand each
other, don t we ? "
" Oh ! " said Bella, with an altered manner and a
side-glance at James, " I didn t know. I m very glad to
hear it, I m sure."
And then they left the gardens, and, after a substantial
meal at a riverside hotel, started on the homeward
35
THE TINTED VENUS.
journey, with the sense that their expedition had not been
precisely a success.
As before, they had a railway compartment to them
selves. Bella declined to talk, and lay back in her
corner with closed eyes and an expression of undeserved
suffering, whilst the unfortunate Jauncy sat silent and
miserable opposite.
Leander would have liked to be silent too, and think
out his position ; but Ada would not hear of this. Her
jealous resentment had apparently vanished, and she was
extremely lively and playful in her sallies.
This reached a pitch when she bent forward, and, in
a whisper, which she did not, perhaps, intend to be quite
confidential, said, " Oh, Mr. Tweddle, you never told me
what became of the ring ! Is it off at last ? "
" Off? yes ! " he said irritably, very nearly adding,
" and the statue too."
" Weren t you very glad ! " said she.
" Uncommonly," he replied grimly.
" Let me see it again, now you ve got it back," she
pleaded.
" You ll excuse me," he said ; " but after what has
taken place, I can t show that ring to anybody."
" Then you re a cross thing ! " said Ada, pouting.
" What s the matter with you two, over there ? " asked
Bella, sleepily.
Ada s eyes sparkled with mischief. "Let me tell
them; it is too awfully funny. I must!" she whispered
to Leander. " It s all about a ring," she began, and
enjoyed poor Tweddle s evident discomfort.
" A ring ? " cried Bella, waking up. " Don t keep all
the fun to yourselves ; we ve not had so much of it this
evening."
" Miss Ada," said Leander, in great agitation, " I ask
36
PLEASURE IN PURSUIT.
you, as a lady, to treat what has happened this evening
in the strictest confidence for the present ! "
" Secrets, Ada ? " cried her sister ; " upon my word ! "
" Why, where s the harm, Mr. Tweddle, now it s all
settled ? " exclaimed Ada. " Bella, it was only this : he
went and put a ring (now do wait till I ve done, Mr.
Tweddle !) on a certain person s finger out in those
Rosherwich Gardens (you see, I ve not said whose
finger)."
" Hullo, Tweddle ! " cried Jauncy, in some bewilder
ment.
Leander could only cast a look of miserable appeal
at him.
"Shall I tell them any more, Mr. Tweddle?" said
Ada, persistently.
" I don t think there s any necessity," he pleaded.
" No more do I," put in Bella, archly. " I think we
can guess the rest."
Ada did not absolutely make any further disclosures
that evening ; but for the rest of the journey she amused
herself by keeping the hairdresser in perpetual torment
by her pretended revelations, until he was thoroughly
disgusted.
No longer could he admire her liveliness ; he could
not even see that she was good-looking now. " She s
nothing but chaff, chaff, chaff ! " he thought. " Thank
goodness, Matilda isn t given that way. Chaff before
marriage means nagging after ! "
They reached the terminus at last, when he willingly
said farewell to the other three.
"Good-bye, Mr. Tweddle," said Bella, in rather a
more cordial tone ; " I needn t hope you ve enjoyed
yourself ! "
" You needn t ! " he replied, almost savagely.
37 D
THE TINTED VENUS.
" Good night," said Ada ; and added in a whisper,
" Don t go and dream of your statue-woman ! "
" If I dream to-night at all," he said, between his
teeth, " it will be a nightmare ! "
" I suppose, Tweddle, old chap," said Jauncy, as he
shook hands, " you know your own affairs best ; but, if
you meant what you told me coming down, you ve been
going it, haven t you ? "
He left Leander wondering impatiently what he
meant. Did he know the truth? Well, everybody
might know it before long ; there would probably be a
fuss about it all, and the best thing he could do would be
to tell Matilda at once, and throw himself upon her
mercy. After all, it was innocent enough if she could
only be brought to believe it.
He did not look forward to telling her ; and by the
time he reached the Bank and got into an omnibus, he
was in a highly nervous state, as the following incident
may serve to show.
He had taken one of those uncomfortable private
omnibuses, where the passengers are left in unlightened
gloom. He sat by the door, and, occupied as he was by
his own misfortunes, paid little attention to his sur
roundings.
But by-and-by, he became aware that the conductor,
in collecting the fares, was trying to attract the notice of
some one who sat in the further corner of the vehicle.
"Where are you for, lady, please?" he asked re
peatedly, and at last, " Will somebody ask the lady up
the end where I m to set her down ? " to all of which
the eccentric person addressed returned no reply what
ever.
Leander s attention was thus directed to her; but,
although in the obscurity he could make out nothing but
38
PLEASURE IN PURSUIT.
a dim form of grey, his nerves were so unsettled that he
felt a curiously uneasy fancy that eyes were being fixed
upon him in the darkness.
This continued until a moment when some electric
lights suddenly flashed into the omnibus as it passed, and
lit up the whole interior with a ghastly glare, in which
the grey female became distinctly visible.
He caught his breath and shrank into the corner ; for
in that moment his excited imagination had traced a
strange resemblance to the figure he had left in Rosher-
wich Gardens. The inherent improbability of finding a
classical statue seated in an omnibus did not occur to
him, in the state his mind was in just then. He sat there
fascinated, until lights shone in once more, and he saw,
or thought he saw, the figure slowly raise her hand and
beckon to him.
That was enough; he started up with a smothered
cry, thrust a coin into the conductor s hand, and, without
waiting for change, flung himself from the omnibus in full
motion.
When its varnished sides had ceased to gleam in the
light of the lamps, and its lumbering form had been
swallowed up in the autumn haze, he began to feel what
a coward his imagination had made of him.
" My nightmare s begun already," he thought. " Still,
she was so surprisingly like, it did give me a turn. They
oughtn t to let such crazy females into public convey
ances ! "
Fortunately his panic had not seized him until he was
within a short distance from Bloomsbury, and it did not
take him long to reach Queen Square and his shop in the
passage. He let himself in, and went up to a little room
on an upper floor, which he used as his sitting-room.
The person who " looked after him " did not sleep on
39
THE TINTED VENUS.
the premises ; but she had laid a fire and left out his tea-
things. " I ll have some tea," he thought, as he lit the
gas and saw them there. " I feel as if I want cheering
up, and it can t make me any more shaky than I am."
And when his fire was crackling and blazing up, and
his kettle beginning to sing, he felt more cheerful already.
What, after all, if it did take some time to get his ring
again? He must make some excuse or other; and,
should the worst come to the worst, " I suppose," he
thought, " I could get another made like it though,
when I come to think of it, I ll be shot if I remember
exactly what it was like, or what the words inside it
were, to be sure about them ; still, very likely old Vidlcr
would recollect, and I dessay it won t turn out to be
necessa What the devil s that ? "
He had the house to himself after nightfall, and he
remembered that his private door could not be opened
now without a special key ; yet he could not help a fancy
that some one was groping his way up the staircase
outside.
" It s only the boards creaking, or the pipes leaking
through," he thought. " I must have the place done up.
But I m as nervous as a cat to-night."
The steps were nearer and nearer they stopped at
the door there was a loud commanding blow on the
panels.
" Who s here at this time of night ? " cried Leander,
aloud. " Come in, if you want to ! "
But the door remained shut, and there came another
rap, even more imperious.
" I shall go mad if this goes on ! " he muttered, and
making a desperate rush to the door, threw it wide open,
and then staggered back panic-stricken.
Upon the threshold stood a tall figure in classical
40
PLEASURE IN PURSUIT.
drapery. His eyes might have deceived him in the
omnibus ; but here, in the crude gaslight, he could not
be mistaken. It was the statue he had last seen in
Rosherwich Gardens now, in some strange and
wondrous way, moving alive !
A DISTINGUISHED STRANGER
A DISTINGUISHED STRANGER.
III.
" How could it be a dream ? Yet there
She stood, the moveless image fair ! "
The Earthly Paradise.
\V ITH slow and stately tread the statue advanced
towards the centre of the hairdresser s humble sitting-
room, and stood there awhile, gazing about her with
something of scornful wonder in her calm cold face. As
she turned her head, the wide, deeply-cut sockets seemed
the home of shadowy eyes ; her face, her bared arms,
and the long straight folds of her robe were all of the
same greyish-yellow hue ; the boards creaked under her
sandalled feet, and Leander felt that he had never heard
of a more appallingly massive ghost if ghost indeed she
were.
He had retired step by step before her to the hearth
rug, where he now stood shivering, with the fire hot at his
back, and his kettle still singing on undismayed. He
made no attempt to account for her presence there on
any rationalistic theory. A statue had suddenly come to
life, and chosen to pay him a nocturnal visit ; he knew
no more than that, except that he would have given
worlds for courage to show it the door.
The spectral eyes were bent upon him, as if in
45
THE TINTED VENUS.
expectation that he would begin the conversation, and,
at last, with a very unmanageable tongue, he managed to
observe
" Did you want to see me on on business, mum ? "
But the statue only relaxed her lips in a haughty
smile.
" For goodness sake, say something ! " he cried
wildly; " unless you want me to jump out of the winder !
What is it you ve come about ? "
It seemed to him that in some way a veil had lifted
from the stone face, leaving it illumined by a strange
light, and from the lips came a voice which addressed
him in solemn far-away tones, as of one talking in sleep.
He could not have said with certainty that the language
was his own, though somehow he understood her per
fectly.
" You know me not ? " she said, with a kind of sad
indifference.
" Well," Leander admitted, as politely as his terror
would allow, " you certingly have the advantage of me
for the moment, mum."
" I am Aphrodite the foam-born, the matchless seed
of ^Egis-bearing Zeus. Many names have I amongst the
sons of men, and many temples, and I sway the hearts of
all lovers ; and gods yea, and mortals have burned
for me, a goddess, with an unconsuming, unquenchable
fire ! "
" Lor ! " said Leander. If he had not been so much
flurried, he might have found a remark worthier of the
occasion, but the announcement that she was a goddess
took his breath away. He had quite believed that
goddesses were long since " gone out."
" You know wherefore I am come hither ? " she
said.
DID YOU WANT TO SEE ME ON ON BUSINESS, MUM?"
[Page 46.
A DISTINGUISHED STRANGER.
" Not at this minute, I don t," he replied. " You ll
excuse me, but you can t be the statue out of those
gardens ? You reelly are so surprisingly like, that I
couldn t help asking you."
" I am Aphrodite, and no statue. Long how long I
know not have I lain entranced in slumber in my sea-girt
isle of Cyprus, and now again has the living touch of a
mortal hand upon one of my sacred images called me
from my rest, and given me power to animate this marble
shell. Some hand has placed this ring upon my finger.
Tell me, was it yours ? "
Leander was almost reassured ; after all, he could
forgive her for terrifying him so much, since she had
come on so good-natured an errand.
" Quite correct, mum miss ! " (he wished he knew
the proper form for addressing a goddess) " that ring is
my property. I m sure it s very civil and friendly of you
to come all this way about it," and he held out his hand
for it eagerly.
" And think you it was for this that I have visited the
face of the earth and the haunts of men, and followed
your footsteps hither by roads strange and unknown to
me ? You are too modest, youth."
" I don t know what there is modest in expecting you
to behave honest ! " he said, rather wondering at his own
audacity.
" How are you called ? " she inquired suddenly on
this ; and after hearing the answer, remarked that the
name was known to her as that of a goodly and noble
youth who had perished for the sake of Hero.
" The gentleman may have been a connection of
mine, for all I know," he said ; " the Tweddles have
always kep themselves respectable. But I m not a
hero myself, I m a hairdresser."
49
THE TINTED VENUS.
She repeated the word thoughtfully, though she did not
seem to quite comprehend it ; and indeed it is likely
enough that, however intelligible she was to Leander, the
understanding was far from being entirely reciprocal.
She extended her hand to him, smiling not un
graciously. " Leander," she said, " cease to tremble, for
a great happiness is yours. Bold have you been ; yet
am I not angered, for I come. Cast, then, away all fear,
and know that Aphrodite disdains not to accept a
mortal s plighted troth ! "
Leander entrenched himself promptly behind the
armchair. " I don t know what you re talking about ! "
he said. " How can I help fearing, with you coming
down on me like this ? Ask yourself."
" Can you not understand that your prayer is heard ? "
she demanded.
" What prayer ? " cried Leander.
" Crass and gross-witted has the world grown ! " said
she ; " a Greek swain would have needed but few words
to divine his bliss. Know, then, that your suit is accepted ;
never yet has Aphrodite turned the humblest from her
shrine. By this symbol," and she lightly touched the
ring, " you have given yourself to me. I accept the
offering you are mine ! "
Leander was stupefied by such an unlooked-for mis
conception. He could scarcely believe his ears ; but he
hastened to set himself right at once.
" If you mean that you were under the impression
that I meant anything in particular by putting that ring
on, it was all a mistake, mum," he said. " I shouldn t
have presumed to it ! "
"Were you the lowliest of men, I care not," she
replied ; " to you I owe the power I now enjoy of life
and vision, nor shall you find me ungrateful. But forbear
50
A DISTINGUISHED STRANGER.
this false humility ; I like it not. Come, then, Leandcr,
at the bidding of Cypris ; come, and fear nothing ! "
But he feared very much, for he had seen the operas
of Don Giovanni and Zampa, and knew that any
familiarity with statuary was likely to have unpleasant
consequences. He merely strengthened his defences
wi:h a chair.
" You must excuse me, mum, you must indeed," he
faltered ; " I can t come ! "
"Why? "she asked.
" Because I ve other engagements," he replied.
" I remember," she said slowly, " in the grove, when
light met my eyes once more, there was a maid with you,
one who laughed and was merry. Answer is she your
love ? "
" No, she isn t," he said shortly. " What if she was ? "
" If she were," observed the goddess, with the air of
one who mentioned an ordinary fact, " I should crush
her ! "
" Lord bless me ! " cried Leander, in his horror.
"What for?"
" Would not she be in my path ? and shall any mortal
maid stand between me and my desire ? "
This was a discovery. She was a jealous and
vengeful goddess; she would require to be sedulously
humoured, or harm would come.
" Well, well," he said soothingly, " there s nothing of
that sort about her, I do assure you."
" Then I spare her," said the goddess. " But how,
then, if this be truly so, do you still shrink from the
honour before you ? "
Leander felt a natural unwillingness to explain that it
was because he was engaged to a young lady who kept
the accounts at a florist s.
5 1
THE TINTED VENUS.
"Well, the fact is," he said awkwardly, "there s
difficulties in the way."
" Difficulties ? I can remove them all ! " she said.
" Not these you can t, mum. It s like this : You
and me, we don t start, so to speak, from the same
basin. I don t mean it as any reproach to you, but you
can t deny you re an Eathen, and, worse than that, an
Eathen goddess. Now all my family have been brought
up as chapel folk, Primitive Methodists, and I ve been
trained to have a horror of superstition and idolatries,
and see the folly of it. So you can see for yourself that
we shouldn t be likely to get on together ! "
" You talk words," she said impatiently ; " but empty
arc they, and meaningless to my ears. One thing I learn
from them that you seek to escape me ! "
"That s putting it too harsh, mum," he protested.
" I m sure I feel the honour of such a call ; and, by the
way, do you mind telling me how you got my address
how you found me out, I mean ? "
" No one remains long hid from the searching eye of
the high gods," she replied.
" So I should be inclined to say," agreed Leander.
" But only tell me this, wasn t it you in the omnibus ?
We call our public conveyances omnibuses, as perhaps
you mayn t know."
" I, sea-born Aphrodite, /in a public conveyance, an
omnibus ? There is an impiety in such a question ! "
" Well, I only thought it might have been," he
stammered, rather relieved upon the whole that it was
not the goddess who had seen his precipitate bolt from
the vehicle. Who the female in the corner really was,
he never knew ; though a man of science might account
for the resemblance she bore to the statue by ascribing
it to one of those preparatory impressions projected
52
A DISTINGUISHED STRANGER.
occasionally by a strong personality upon a weak one.
But Leander was content to leave the matter unexplained.
" Let it suffice you," she said, " that I am here ; and
once more, Leander, are you prepared to fulfil the troth
you have plighted ? "
" I I can t say I am," he said. " Not that I don t
feel thankful for having had the refusal of so very igh-
class an opportunity ; but, as I m situated at present
what with the state of trade, and unbelief so rampant,
and all I m obliged to decline with respectful thanks."
He trusted that after this she would see the propriety
of going.
" Have a care ! " she said ; " you are young and not
uncomely, and my heart pities you. Do nothing rash.
Pause, ere you rouse the implacable ire of Aphrodite ! "
" Thank you," said Leander ; " if you ll allow me, I
will. I don t want any ill-feeling, I m sure. It s my wish
to live peaceable with all men."
" I leave you, then. Use the time before you till I
come again in thinking well whether he acts wisely who
spurns the proffered hand of Idalian Aphrodite. For the
present, farewell, Leander ! "
He was overjoyed at his coming deliverance. " Good
evening, mum," he said, as he ran to the door and held
it open. " If you ll allow me, I ll light you down the
staircase it s rather dark, I m afraid."
^Fool!" she said with scorn, and without stirring
from her place; and, as she spoke the word, the veil
seemed to descend over her face again, the light faded
out, and, with a slight shudder, the figure imperceptibly
resumed its normal attitude, the drapery stiffened once
more into chiselled folds, and the statue was soulless as
are statues generally.
53
FROM BAD TO WORSE
FROM BAD TO WORSE.
IV.
" And the shadow flits and fleets,
And will not let me be,
And I loathe the squares and streets ! "
Maud.
FOR some time after the statue had ceased to give
signs of life, the hairdresser remained gaping, incapable
of thought or action. At last he ventured to approach
cautiously, and on touching the figure, found it perfectly
cold and hard. The animating principle had plainly
departed, and left the statue a stone.
"She s gone," he said, "and left her statue behind
her ! Well, of all the goes She s come out without
her pedestal, too ! To be sure, it would have been in her
way, walking."
Seating himself in his shabby old armchair, he tried
to collect his scattered wits. He scarcely realised, even
yet, what had happened ; but, unless he had dreamed it
all, he had been honoured by the marked attentions of a
marble statue, instigated by a heathen goddess, who
insisted that his affections were pledged to her.
Perhaps there was a spice of flattery in such a situa
tion for it cannot fall to the lot of many hairdressers to
be thus distinguished but Leander was far too much
alarmed to appreciate it. There had been suggestions
57
THE TINTED VENUS.
of menace in the statue s remarks which made him shudder
when he recalled them, and he started violently once or
twice when some wavering of the light gave a play of life
to the marble mask. " She s coming back ! " he thought.
" Oh, I do wish she wouldn t ! " But Aphrodite continued
immovable, and at last he concluded that, as he put it,
she " had done for the evening."
His first reflection was what had best be done?
The wisest course seemed to be to send for the manager
of the gardens, and restore the statue while its animation
was suspended. The people at the gardens would take
care that it did not get loose again.
But there was the ring; he must get that off first.
Here was an unhoped-for opportunity of accomplishing
this in privacy, and at his leisure. Again approaching
the figure, he tried to draw off the compromising circle ;
but it seemed tighter than ever, and he drew out a pair
of scissors and, after a little hesitation, respectfully in
serted it under the hoop and set to work to prize it off,
with the result of snapping both the points, and leaving
the ring entirely unaffected. He glanced at the face ; it
wore the same dreamy smile, with a touch of gentle
contempt in it. " She don t seem to mind," he said
aloud ; " to be sure, she ain t inside of it now, as far as
I make it out. I ve got all night before me to get the
confounded thing off, and I ll go on till I ve done
it!"
But he laboured on with the disabled scissors, and
only succeeded in scratching the smooth marble a little ;
he stopped to pant. " There s only way," he told him
self desperately ; " a little diamond cement would make
it all right again ; and you expect cracks in a statue."
Then, after a furtive glance around, he fetched the
poker from the fireplace. He felt horribly brutal, as if
58
FROM BAD TO WORSE.
he were going to mutilate and maltreat a creature that
could feel ; but he nerved himself to tap the back of
Aphrodite s hand at the dimpled base of the third finger.
The shock ran up to his elbow, and gave him acute
" pins and needles," but the stone hand was still intact.
He struck again this time with all his force and the
poker flew from his grasp, and his arm dropped paralyzed
by his side.
He could scarcely lift it again for some minutes, and
the warning made him refrain from any further violence.
" It s no good," he groaned. " If I go on, I don t know
what may happen to me. I must wait till she comes to,
and then ask her for the ring, very polite and civil, and
try if I can t get round her that way."
He was determined that he would never give her up
to the gardens while she wore his ring ; but, in the mean
time, he could scarcely leave the statue standing in the
middle of his sitting-room, where it would most assuredly
attract the charwoman s attention.
He had little cupboards on each side of his fireplace :
one of these had no shelves, and served for storing fire
wood and bottles of various kinds. From this he removed
the contents, and lifting the statue, which, possibly because
its substance had been affected in some subtle and
inexplicable manner by the vital principle that had so
lately permeated it, proved less ponderous than might
have been reasonably expected, he pushed it well into
the recess, and turned the key on it.
Then he went trembling to bed, and, after an interval
of muddled, anxious thinking, fell into a heavy sleep,
which lasted until far into the morning.
He woke with the recollection that something un
pleasant was hanging over him, and by degrees he
remembered what that so ntthing was; but it looked so
59
TUP: TINTED VENUS.
extravagant in the morning light that he had great hopes
all would turn out to be a mere dream.
It was a mild Sunday morning, and there were church
bells ringing all around him ; it seemed impossible that
he could really be harbouring an animated antique. But
to remove all doubt, he stole down, half dressed, to his
small sitting-room, which he found looking as usual the
fire burning dull and dusty in the sunlight that struck in
through the open window, and his breakfast laid out on
the table.
Almost reassured, he went to the cupboard and un
locked the door. Alas ! it held its skeleton the statue
was there, preserving the attitude of queenly command
in which he had seen it first. Sharply he shut the door
again, and turned the key with a heavy heart.
He swallowed his breakfast with very little appetite,
after which he felt he could not remain in the house.
" To sit here with that in the cupboard is more than I m
equal to all Sunday," he decided.
If Matilda had been at his aunt s, with whom she
lodged, he would have gone to chapel with her ; but
Matilda did not return from her holiday till late that
night. He thought of going to his friend and asking his
advice on his case. James, as a barrister s clerk, would
presumably be able to give a sound legal opinion on an
emergency.
James, however, lived " out Camden Town way," and
was certain on so fine a morning to be away on some
Sunday expedition with his betrothed : it was hopeless to
go in search of him now. If he went to see his aunt,
who lived close by in Millman Street, she might ask him
about the ring, and there would be a fuss. He was in
no humour for attending any place of public worship, and
so he spent some hours in aimless wandering about the
60
FROM BAD TO WORSE.
streets, which, as foreigners are fond of reminding us, are
not exhilarating even on the brightest Sabbath, and did
not raise his spirits then.
At last hunger drove him back to the passage in
Southampton Row, the more quickly as it began to occur
to him that the statue might possibly have revived, and
be creating a disturbance in the cupboard.
He had passed the narrow posts, and was just taking
out his latchkey, when some one behind touched his
shoulder and made him give a guilty jump. He dreaded
to find the goddess at his elbow ; however, to his relief,
he found a male stranger, plainly and respectably dressed.
" You Mr. Tweddle the hairdresser ? " the stranger
inquired.
Leander felt a wild impulse to deny it, and declare
that he was his own friend, and had come to see himself
on business, for he was in no social mood just then ;
but he ended by admitting that he supposed he was
Mr. Tweddle.
"So did I. Well, I want a little private talk with
you, Mr. Tweddle. I ve been hanging about for some
time ; but though I knocked and rang, I couldn t make
a soul hear."
" There isn t a soul inside," protested Tweddle, with
unnecessary warmth ; " not a solitary soul ! You wanted
to talk with me. Suppose we take a turn round the
square ? "
" No, no. I won t keep you out ; I ll come in with
you!"
Inwardly wondering what his visitor wanted, Leander
led him in and lit the gas in his hair-cutting saloon.
" We shall be cosier here," he said ; for he dared not
take the stranger up in the room where the statue was
concealed, for fear of accidents.
61
THE TINTED VENUS.
The man sat down in the operating-chair and crossed
his legs. " I dare say you re wondering what I ve come
about like this on a Sunday afternoon ? " he began.
" Not at all," said Leander. " Anything I can have
the pleasure of doing for you "
" It s only to answer a few questions. I understand
you lost a ring at the Rosherwich Gardens yesterday
evening : that s so, isn t it ? "
He was a military looking person, as Leander now
perceived, and he had a close-trimmed iron-grey beard,
a high colour, quick eyes, and a stiff hard-lipped mouth
not at all the kind of man to trifle with. And yet Leander
felt no inclination to tell him his story; the stranger
might be a reporter, and his adventure would " get into
the papers " perhaps reach Matilda s eyes.
" I I dropped a ring last night, certainly," he said ;
" it may have been in the gardens, for what I know."
" Now, now," said the stranger, " don t you know it
was in the gardens ? Tell me all about it."
" Begging your pardon," said Leander, " I should like
to know first what call you have to be told."
" You re quite right perfectly right. I always deal
straightforwardly when I can. I ll tell you who I am.
I m Inspector Bilbow, of the Criminal Investigation
Department, Scotland Yard. Now, perhaps, you ll see
I m not a man to be kept in the dark. And I want you
to tell me when and where you last saw that ring of
yours : it s to your own interest, if you want to see it
again."
But Leander had seen it again, and it seemed certain
that all Scotland Yard could not assist him in getting it
back ; he must manage it single-handed.
" It s very kind of you, Mr. Inspector, to try and find
it for me," he said ; " but the fact is, it it ain t so
62
FROM BAD TO WORSE.
valuable as I fancied. I can t afford to have it traced
it s not worth it I "
The inspector laughed. " I never said it was, that I
know. The job I m in charge of is a bigger concern
than your trumpery ring, my friend."
" Then I don t see what I ve got to do with it," said
Leander.
The officer had taken his measure by this time ; he
must admit his man into a show of confidence, and
appeal to his vanity, if he was to obtain any information
he could rely upon.
" You re a shrewd chap, I see ; nothing for nothing
is your motto, eh ? Well, if you help me in this, and put
me on the track I want, it ll be a fine thing for you.
You ll be a principal witness at the police-court; name in
the papers ; regular advertisement for you ! "
This prospect, had he known it but even inspectors
cannot know everything was the last which could appeal
to Leander in his peculiar position. " I don t care for
notoriety," he said loftily ; " I scorn it."
" Oho ! " said the inspector, shifting his ground.
" Well, you don t want to impede the course of justice,
do you ? because that s what you seem to me to be after,
and you won t find it pay in the long run. I ll get this
out of you in a friendly way if I can ; if not, some other
way. Come, give me your account, fair and full, of how
you came to lose that ring ; there s no help for it you
must ! "
Leander saw this and yielded. After all, it did not
much matter, for of course he would not touch upon the
strange sequel of his ill-omened act ; so he told the story
faithfully and circumstantially, while the inspector took it
all down in his note-book, questioning him closely respect
ing the exact time of each occurrence.
63
THE TINTED VENUS.
At last he closed his note-book with a snap. " I m
not obliged to tell you anything in return for all this," he
said ; " but I will, and then you ll see the importance of
holding your tongue till I give you leave to talk about it."
" / shan t talk about it," said Leander.
" I don t advise you to. I suppose you ve heard of
that affair at Wricklesmarsh Court ? What ! not that
business where a gang broke into the sculpture gallery,
one of the finest private collections in England ? You
surprise me ! "
" And what did they steal ? " asked Leander.
" They stole the figure whose finger you were ass
enough (if you ll allow me the little familiarity) to put
your ring on. What do you think of that ? "
A wild rush of ideas coursed through the hairdresser s
head. Was this policeman " after " the goddess upstairs ?
Did he know anything more ? Would it be better to give
up the statue at once and get rid of it ? But then his
ring would be lost for ever !
" It s surprising," he said at last. " But what did they
want to go and burgle a plaster figure for ? "
" That s where it is, you see ; she ain t plaster she s
marble, a genuine antic of Venus, and worth thousands.
The beggars who broke in knew that, and took nothing
else. They d made all arrangements to get away with
her abroad, and pass her off on some foreign collection
before it got blown upon ; and they d have done it too if
we hadn t been beforehand with them ! So what do they
do then ? They drive up with her to these gardens, ask
to see the manager, and say they re agents for some Fine
Arts business, and have a sample with them, to be dis
posed of at a low price. The manager, so he tells me,
had a look at it, thought it a neat article and suitable to
the style of his gardens. He took it to be plain plaster,
64
FROM BAD TO WORSE.
as they said, and they put it up for him their own selves,
near the small gate up by the road ; then they took the
money a pound or two they asked for it and drove
away, and he saw no more of them."
" And was that all they got for their pains ? " said
Leander.
The inspector smiled indulgently. " Don t you see
your way yet ? " he asked. " Can t you give a guess
where that statue s got to now, eh ? "
" No," said Leander, with what seemed to the in
spector a quite uncalled-for excitement, " of course I
can t ! What do you ask me for ? How should I
know ? "
" Quite so," said the other ; " you want a mind trained
to deal with these things. It may surprise you to hear
it, but I know as well how that statue disappeared, and
what was done with her, as if I d been there ! "
"Do you, though?" thought Leander, who was be
ginning to doubt whether his visitor s penetration was
anything so abnormal. " What was done with her?" he
asked.
" Why, it was a plant from the first. They knew all
their regular holes were stopped, and they wanted a place
to dump her down in, where she wouldn t attract attention,
till they could call for her again ; so they got her taken in
at the gardens, where they could come in any time by the
gate and fetch her off again and very neatly it was
done, too ! "
" But where do you make out they ve taken her to
now ? " asked Leander, who was naturally anxious to
discover if the official had any suspicions of him.
"I ve my own theory about that," was his answer.
" I shall hunt that Venus down, sir I ll stake my reputa
tion on it."
65
THE TINTED VENUS.
"Venus is her name, it seems," thought Leander.
" She told me it was Aphrodite. But perhaps the other s
her Christian name. It can t be the Venus I ve seen
pictures of she s dressed too decent."
" Yes," repeated the inspector, " I shall hunt her down
now. I don t envy the poor devil who s giving her house-
room ; he ll have reason to repent it ! "
" How do you know any one s giving her house-
room ? " inquired Leander ; " and why should he
repent it ? "
" Ask your own common sense. They daren t take
her back to any of their own places ; they know better.
They haven t left the country with her. What remains ?
They ve bribed or got over some mug of an outsider to
be their accomplice, and a bad speculation he ll find
it, too."
"What would be done to him?" asked the hair
dresser, with a quite unpleasant internal sensation.
" That is a question I wouldn t pretend to decide ;
but I ve no hesitation in saying that the party on whose
premises that statue is discovered will wish he d died
before he ever set eyes on her."
" You re quite right there ! " said Leander. " Well,
sir, I m afraid I haven t been much assistance to you."
" Nevermind that," said the inspector, encouragingly ;
" you ve answered my questions ; you ve not hindered
the law, and that s a game some burn their fingers at."
Leander let him out, and returned to his saloon with
his head in a worse whirl than before. He did not think
the detective suspected him. He was clearly barking up
the wrong tree at present ; but so acute a mind could
not be long deceived, and if once Leander was implicated
his guilt would appear beyond denial. Would the police
believe that the statue had run after him ? No one
66
WHAT WOULD BE DONE TO HIM?" ASKED THE HAIRDRESSER, WITH
A QUITE UNPLEASANT INTERNAL SENSATION. [Page 66.
FROM BAD TO WORSE.
would believe it ! To be found in possession of that
fatal work of art would inevitably ruin him.
He might carry her away to some lonely spot and
leave her, but where was the use? She would only
come back again ; or he might be taken in the act. He
dared not destroy her ; his right arm had been painful
all day after that last attempt.
If he gave her up to the authorities, he would have
to explain how he came to be in a position to do so,
which, as he now saw, would be a difficult undertaking ;
and even then he would lose all chance of recovering
his ring in time to satisfy his aunt and Matilda. There
was no way out of it, unless he could induce Venus to
give up the token and leave him alone.
" Cuss her ! " he said angrily ; " a pretty bog she s
led me into, she and that minx, Ada Parkinson ! "
He felt so thoroughly miserable that hunger had
vanished, and he dreaded the idea of an evening at
home, though it was a blusterous night, with occasional
vicious spirts of rain, and by no means favourable to
continued pacing of streets and squares.
" I m hanged if I don t think I ll go to church ! " he
thought ; " and perhaps I shall feel more equal to supper
afterwards."
He went upstairs to get his best hat and overcoat,
and was engaged in brushing the former in his sitting-
room, when from within the cupboard he heard a shower
of loud raps.
His knees trembled. " She s wuss than any ghost ! "
he thought ; but he took no notice, and went on brushing
his hat, while he endeavoured to hum a hymn.
" Leander ! " cried the clear, hard voice he knew too
well, " I have returned. Release me ! "
His first idea was to run out of the house and seek
THE TINTED VENUS.
sanctuary in some pew in the opposite church. " But
there," he thought disgustedly, " she d only come in
and sit next to me. No, I ll pluck up a spirit and have
it out with her ! " and he threw open the door.
" How have you dared to imprison me in this narrow
tomb?" she demanded majestically, as she stepped
forth.
Leander cringed. " It s a nice roomy cupboard," he
said. " I thought perhaps you wouldn t mind putting
up with it, especially as you invited yourself," he could
not help adding.
" When I found myself awake and in utter darkness,"
she said, " I thought you had buried me beneath the
soil."
" Buried you ! " he exclaimed, with a sudden percep
tion that he might do worse.
" And in that thought I was preparing to invoke the
forces that lie below the soil to come to my aid, burst
the masses that impeded me, and overwhelm you and
all this ugly swarming city in one vast ruin ! "
" I won t bury her," Leander decided. " I m sorry
you hadn t a better opinion of me, mum," he said aloud.
" You see, how you came to be in there was this way :
when you went out, like the snuff of a candle, so to speak,
you left your statue standing in the middle of the floor,
and I had to put it somewhere where it wouldn t be
seen."
" You did well," she said indulgently, " to screen my
image from the vulgar sight ; and if you had no statelier
shrine wherein to instal it, the fault lies not with you.
You are pardoned."
" Thank you, mum," said Leander \ " and now let me
ask you if you intend to animate that statue like this as
a regular thing ? "
70
FROM BAD TO WORSE.
" So long as your obstinacy continues, or until it out
lives my forbearance, I shall return at intervals," she
said. " Why do you ask this ? "
" Well," said Leander, with a sinking heart, but hoping
desperately to move her by the terrors of the law, " it s
my duty to tell you that that image you re in is stolen
property."
" Has it been stolen from one of my temples ? " she
asked.
" I dare say I don t know ; but there s the police
moving heaven and earth to get you back again ! "
" He is good and pious the police, and if I knew
him I would reward him."
" There s a good many hims in the police that s
what we call our guards for the street, who take up
thieves and bad characters ; and, being stolen, they re
all of em after you ; and if they had a notion where you
were, they d be down on you, and back you d go to
wherever you ve come from some gallery, I believe,
where you wouldn t get away again in a hurry ! Now, I
tell you what it is, if you don t give me up that ring, and
go away and leave me in quiet, I ll tell the police who
you are and where you are. I mean what I say, by
George I do 1 "
"We know not George, nor will it profit you to
invoke him now," said the goddess. " See, I will deign
to reason with you as with some froward child. Think
you that, should the guards seize my image, / should
remain within, or that it is aught to me where this marble
presentment finds a resting-place while I am absent
therefrom ? But for you, should you surrender it into
their hands, would there be no punishment for your im
piety in thus concealing a divine effigy ? "
" She ain t no fool !" thought Leander; " she mayn t
THE TINTED VENUS.
understand our ways, but she s a match for me notwith
standing. I must try another line."
" Lady Venus," he began, " if that s the proper way
to call you, I didn t mean any threats far from it. I ll
be as humble as you please. You look a good-natured
lady ; you wouldn t want to make a man uncomfortable,
I m sure. Do give me back that ring, for mercy s sake !
If I haven t got it to show in a day or two, I shall be
ruined ! "
"Should any mortal require the ring of you, you
have but to reply, I have placed it upon the finger of
Aphrodite, whose spouse I am ! Thus will you have
honour amongst mortals, being held blameless ! "
" Blameless ! " cried Leander, in pardonable exaspe
ration. " That s all you know about it ! And what am I
to say to the lady it lawfully belongs to ? "
"You have lied to me, then, and you are already
affianced ! Tell me the abode of this maiden of
yours."
" What do you want it for ? " he inquired, hoping
faintly she might intend to restore the ring.
" To seek it out, to go to her abode, to crush her !
Is she not my rival ? "
" Crush my Matilda ? " he cried in agony. " You ll
never do such a thing as that ? "
" You have revealed her name ! I have but to ask
in your streets, * Where abideth Matilda, the beloved of
Leander, the dresser of hair ? Lead me to her dwelling.
And having arrived thereat, I shall crush her, and thus
she shall deservedly perish ! "
He was horrified at the possible effects of his slip,
which he hastened to repair. " You won t find it so easy
to come at her, luckily," he said; "there s hundreds of
Matildas in London alone."
72
FROM BAD TO WORSE.
" Then," said the goddess, sweetly and calmly, " it is
simple : I shall crush them all."
" Oh, lor ! " whimpered Leander, " here s a blood
thirsty person ! Where s the sense of doing that ? "
" Because, dissipated reveller that you are, you love
them."
" Now, when did I ever say I loved them ? I don t
even know more than two or three, and those I look on
as sisters in fact " (here he hit upon a lucky evasion)
" they are sisters it s only another name for them. I ve
a brother and three Matildas, and here are you talking of
crushing my poor sisters as if they were so many beadles
all for nothing ! "
" Is this the truth ? Palter not with me ! You are
pledged to no mortal bride ? "
" I m a bachelor. And as for the ring, it belongs to
my aunt, who s over fifty."
"Then no one stands between us, and you are
mine ! "
" Don t talk so ridiculous ! I tell you I ain t yours
it s a free country, this is ! "
" If I an immortal can stoop thus, it becomes you
not to reject the dazzling favour."
A last argument occurred to him. " But I reelly
don t think, mum," he said persuasively, " that you can
be quite aware of the extent of the stoop. The fact is,
I am, as I ve tried to make you understand, a hairdresser ;
some might lower themselves so far as to call me a barber.
Now, hairdressing, whatever may be said for it " (he could
not readily bring himself to decry his profession) " hair-
dressing is considribly below you in social rank. I
wouldn t deceive you by saying otherwise. I assure you
that, if you had any ideer what a barber was, you wouldn t
be so pressing."
73 F
THE TINTED VENUS.
She seemed to be struck by this. " You say well ! "
she observed, thoughtfully; " your occupation maybe base
and degrading, and if so, it were well for me to know it."
" If you were once to see me in my daily avocations,"
he urged, " you d see what a mistake you re making."
" Enough ! I will see you and at once. Barb, that
I may know the nature of your toil ! "
" I can t do that now," he objected ; " I haven t got
a customer."
" Then fetch one, and barb with it immediately. You
must have your tools by you ; so delay not ! "
" A customer ain t a tool ! " he groaned, " it s a
fellow-man; and no one will come in to-night, because
it s Sunday. (Don t ask me what Sunday is, because you
wouldn t understand if I tried to tell you !) And I don t
carry on my business up here, but below in the saloon."
" I will go thither and behold you."
" No ! " he exclaimed. " Do you want to ruin me ? "
" I will make no sign ; none shall recognise me for
what I am. But come I will ! "
Leander pondered awhile. There was danger in in
troducing the goddess into his saloon ; he had no idea
what she might do there. But at the same time, if she
were bent upon coming, she would probably do so in any
case ; and besides, he felt tolerably certain that what she
would see would convince her of his utter unsuitability as
a consort.
Yes, it was surely wisest to assist necessity, and
obtain the most favourable conditions for the inevitable
experiment.
" I might put you in a corner of the operating-room,
to be sure," he said thoughtfully. " No one would think
but what you was part of the fittings, unless you went
moving about.
74
FROM BAD TO WORSE.
" Place me where I may behold you at your labour,
and there I will remain," she said.
" Well," he conceded, " I ll risk it. The best way
would be for you to walk down to the saloon, and leave
yourself ready in a corner till you come to again. I
can t carry a heavy marble image all that way ! "
" So be it," said she, and followed him to the saloon
with a proud docility.
" It s nicely got up," he remarked, as they reached it ;
" and you ll find it roomier than the cupboard."
She deigned no answer as she remained motionless in
the corner he had indicated; and presently, as he held
up the candle he was carrying, he found its rays were
shining upon a senseless stone.
He went upstairs again, half fearful, half sanguine.
" I don t altogether like it," he was thinking. " But if I
put a print wrapper over her all day, no one will notice.
And goddesses must have their proper pride. If she
once gets it into her marble head that I keep a shop, I
think that she ll turn up her nose at me. And then
she ll give back the ring and go away, and I shan t be
afraid of the police ; and I needn t tell Tillie anything
about it. It s worth risking."
75
AN EXPERIMENT
AN EXPERIMENT.
V.
*"Tis time; descend; be stone no more; approach:
Strike all that look upon with marvel."
The Winter s Tale.
T,
HE next day brought Leander a letter which made
his heart beat with mingled emotions it was from his
Matilda. It had evidently been written immediately
before her return, and told him that she would be at
their old meeting-place (the statue of Fox in Bloomsbury
Square) at eight o clock that evening.
The wave of tenderness which swept over him at the
anticipation of this was hurled back by an uncomfortable
thought. What if Matilda were to refer to the ring ? But
no ; his Matilda would do nothing so indelicate.
All through the day he mechanically went through
his hairdressing, singeing, and shampooing operations,
divided between joy at the prospect of seeing his adored
Matilda again, and anxiety respecting the cold marble
swathed in the print wrapper, which stood in the corner
of his hair-cutting saloon.
He glanced at it every time he went past to change a
brush or heat a razor, but there was no sign of movement
under the folds, and he gradually became reassured,
especially as it excited no remark.
But as evening drew on he felt that, for the success of
79
THE TINTED VENUS.
his experiment, it was necessary that the cover should be
removed. It was dangerous, supposing the inspector
were to come in unexpectedly and recognise the statue ;
but he could only trust to fortune for that, and hoped,
too, that even if the detective came he would be able to
keep him in the outer shop.
It was only for one evening, and it was well worth
the risk.
A foreign gentleman had come in, and the hairdresser
found that a fresh wrapper was required, which gave him
the excuse he wanted for unveiling the Aphrodite. He
looked carefully at the face as he uncovered it, but could
discover no speculation as yet in the calm, full gaze of
the goddess.
The foreign gentleman was inclined to be talkative
under treatment, and the conversation came round to
public amusements.
" In my country," the customer said, without mention
ing or betraying what his particular country was" in my
country we have what you have not, places to sit out in
the fresh air, and drink a glass of beer, along with the
entertainments. You have not that in London ? "
" Bless your soul, yes," said Leander, who was a true
patriot, " plenty of them ! "
" Oh, I did not aware that ; but who ? "
" Well," said the hairdresser, " there s the Eagle in
the City Road, for one ; and there s the Surrey Gardens ;
and there s Rosherwich," he added, after a pause.
(The Fisheries Exhibition, it may be said, was as yet
unknown.)
" And you go there, often ? "
" I ve been to Rosherwich."
" Was it goot there you laike it, eh ? "
" Well," said Leander, " they tell me it s very gay in
80
AN EXPERIMENT.
the season. P rhaps I went at the wrong time of the
year for it."
" What you call wrong time for it ? "
" Slack nothing going on," he explained ; " like it was
when I went last Saturday."
" You went last Saturday ? And you stay a long
time ? "
" I didn t stay no longer than I could help," Leander
said. " All our party was glad to get away."
The foreigner had risen to go, when his eyes fell on
the Venus in the corner.
" You did not stay long, and your party was glad to
come away ? " he repeated absently. " I am not sur
prised at that." He gave the hairdresser a long stare as
he spoke. " No, I am not surprised. . . . You have a
good taste, my friend; you laike the antique, do you
not ? " he broke off suddenly.
" Ah ! you are looking at the Venus, sir," said
Leander. " Yes, I m very partial to it."
" It is a taste that costs," his customer said.
He looked back over his shoulder as he left the shop,
and once more repeated softly, "Yes, it is a taste that
costs."
" I suppose," Leander reflected as he went back, " it
does strike people as queer, my keeping that statue
there ; but it s only for one evening."
The foreigner had scarcely left when an old gentle
man, a regular customer, looked in, on his way from the
City, and at once noticed the innovation. He was an old
gentleman who had devoted much time and study to Art,
in the intervals of business, and had developed critical
powers of the highest order.
He walked straight up to the Venus, and stuck out
his under lip. " Where did you get that thing ? " he
Si
THE TINTED VENUS.
inquired. " Isn t this place of yours small enough, without
lumbering it up with statuary out of the Euston Road ? "
" I didn t get it there," said Leander. " I I thought
it would be andy to ang the ats on."
" Dear, dear," said the old gentleman, " why do you
people dabble in matters you don t understand ? Come
here, Tweddle, and let me show you. Can t you see what
a miserable sham the thing is a cheap, tawdry imitation
of the splendid classic type ? Why, by merely exhibiting
such a thing, you re vitiating public taste, sir corrupting
it."
Leander did not quite follow this rebuke, which he
thought was probably based upon the goddess s ante
cedents.
" Was she reelly as bad as that, sir ? " he said. " I
wasn t aware so, or I shouldn t give any offence to
customers by letting her stay here."
As he spoke he saw the indefinable indications in the
statue s face which denoted that it was instinct once
more with life and intelligence, and he was horrified at
the thought that the latter part of the conversation might
have been overheard.
" But I ve always understood," he said, hastily, " that
the party this represents was puffickly correct, however
free some of the others might have been ; and I suppose
that s the costume of the period she s in, and very
becoming it is, I m sure, though gone out since."
" Bah ! " said the old gentleman, " it s poor art. I ll
show you where the thing is bad. I happen to under
stand something of these things. Just observe how the
top of the head is out of drawing ; look at the lowness of
the forehead, and the distance between the eyes ; all the
canons of proportion ignored absolutely ignored ! "
What further strictures this rash old gentleman was
82
AN EXPERIMENT.
preparing to pass upon the statue will never be known
now, for Tweddle already thought he could discern a
growing resentment in her face, under so much candour.
He could not stand by and allow so excellent a customer
to be crushed on the floor of his saloon, and he knew the
Venus quite capable of this : was she not perpetually
threatening such a penalty, on much slighter provocation ?
He rushed between the unconscious man and his fate.
" I think you said your hair cut ? " he said, and laid
violent hands upon the critic, forced him protesting into
a chair, throttled him with a towel, and effectually
diverted his attention by a series of personal remarks
upon the top of his head.
The victim, while he was being shampooed, showed
at first an alarming tendency to revert to the subject of
the goddess s defects, but Leander was able to keep him
in check by well-timed jets of scalding water and ice-cold
sprays, which he directed against his customer s exposed
crown, until every idea, except impotent rage, was
washed out of it, while a hard machine brush completed
the subjugation.
Finally, the unfortunate old man staggered out of the
shop, preserved by Leander s unremitting watchfulness
from the wrath of the goddess. Yet, such is the ingrati
tude of human nature, that he left the place vowing to
return no more. " I thought I d got a clown behind me,
sir ! " he used to say afterwards, in describing it.
Before Leander could recover from the alarm he had
been thrown into, another customer had entered ; a pale
young man, with a glossy hat, a white satin necktie, and
a rather decayed gardenia. He, too, was one of
Tweddle s regular clients. What his occupation might be
was a mystery, for he aimed at being considered a man
of pleasure.
83
THE TINTED VENUS.
" I say, just shave me, will you ? " he said, and threw
himself languidly into a chair. " Fact is, Tweddle, I ve
been so doosid chippy for the last two days, I daren t
touch a razor."
" Indeed, sir ! " said Leander, with respectful
sympathy.
" You see," explained the youth, " I ve been playing
the goat the giddy goat. Know what that means ? "
" I used to," said Leander ; " I never touch alcoholic
stimulants now, myself."
" Wish I didn t. I say, Tweddle, have you been to
the Cosmopolitan lately ? "
" I don t go to music- alls now," said Leander ; " I ve
give up all that now I m keeping company."
" Well, you go and see the new ballet," the youth
exhorted him earnestly ; not that he cared whether the
hairdresser went or not, but because he wanted to talk
about the ballet to somebody.
" Ah ! " observed Leander ; " is that a good one
they ve got there now, sir ? "
" Rather think so. Ballet called Olympus. There s
a regular ripping little thing who comes on as one of
Venus s doves." And the youth went on to intimate
that the dove in question had shown signs of being struck
by his powers of fascination. " I saw directly that I d
mashed her ; she was gone, dead gone, sir ; and I
say, who s that in the corner over there eh ? "
He was staring intently into the pier-glass in front of
him. " That ? " said Leander, following his glance.
"Oh! that s a statue I ve bought. She she brightens
up the place a bit, don t she ? "
"A statue, is it? Yes, of course; I knew it was a
statue. Well, about that dove. I went round after it
was all over, but couldn t see a sign of her ; so
84
m i #
KEEP OFF ! TELL HER TO DROP IT, TWEDDLE !
AN EXPERIMENT.
That s a queer sort of statue you ve got there ! " he broke
off suddenly ; and Leander distinctly saw the goddess
shake her arm in fierce menace. " He s said something
that s put her out," he concluded. " I wish I knew what
it was."
" It s a classical statue, sir," he said, with what com
posure he might ; " they re all made like that."
" Are they, by Jove ? But, Tweddle, I say, it moves :
it s shaking its fist like old Harry ! "
" Oh, I think you re mistaken, sir, really ! I don t
perceive it myself."
" Don t perceive it ? But, hang it, man, look look
in the glass ! There ! don t you see it does ? Dash it !
can t you say it does ? "
" Flaw in the mirror, sir ; when you move your ed,
you do ketch that effect. I ve observed it myself frequent.
Chin cut, sir ? My fault my fault entirely," he admitted
handsomely.
The young man was shaved by this time, and had
risen to receive his hat and cane, when he gave a violent
start as he passed the Aphrodite. " There ! " he said,
breathlessly, " look at that, Tweddle ; she s going to
punch my head ! I suppose you ll tell me thafs the glass ? "
Leander trembled this time for his own reputation ;
for the report that he kept a mysterious and pugnacious
statue on the premises would not increase his custom.
He must silence it, if possible. " I m afraid it is, sir in
a way," he remarked, compassionately.
The young man turned paler still. " No ! " he ex
claimed. " You don t think it is, though ? Don t you see
anything yourself? I don t either, Tweddle; I was
chaffing, that s all. I know I m a wee bit off colour ; but
it s not so bad as that. Keep off! Tell her to drop it,
Tweddle ! "
87
THE TINTED VENUS.
For, as he spoke, the goddess had made a stride
towards him. " Miserable one ! " she cried, " you have
mangled one of my birds. Hence, or I crush thee ! "
" Tweddle ! Tweddle ! " cried the youth, taking refuge
in the other shop, " don t let her come after me ! What s
she talking about, eh ? You shouldn t have these things
about; they re they re not right!"
Leander shut the glass door and placed himself before
it, while he tried to assume a concerned interest. " You
take my advice, sir," he said ; " you go home and keep
steady."
" Is it that ? " murmured the customer. " Great
Scott ! I must be bad ! " and he went out into the street,
shaking.
" I don t believe I shall ever see Mm again, either,"
thought Leander. " She ll drive em all away if she goes
on like this." But here a sudden recollection struck him,
and he slapped his thigh with glee. " Why, of course,"
he said, " that s it. I ve downright disgusted her ; it was
me she was most put out with, and after this she ll leave
me alone. Hooray ! I ll shut up everything first and
get rid of the boy, and then go in and see her, and get
away to Matilda."
When the shop was secured for the night, he re-
entered the saloon with a light step. " Well, mum," he
began, "you ve seen me at work, and you ve thought
better of what you were proposing, haven t you now ? "
" Where is the wretched stripling who dared to slay
my dove ? " she cried. " Bring him to me ! "
"What are you a-talking about now?" cried the
bewildered Leander. " Who s been touching your birds ?
I wasn t aware you kept birds."
" Many birds are sacred to me the silver swan, the
fearless sparrow, and, chief of all, the coral-footed dove.
88
AN EXPERIMENT.
And one of these has that monster slain his own mouth
hath spoken it."
" Oh ! is that all ? " said Leander. " Why, he wasn t
talking about a real dove ; it was a ballet girl he meant.
I can t explain the difference; but they are different.
And it s all talk, too. I know him ; he s harmless enough.
And now, mum, to come to the point ; you ve now had
the opportunity of forming some ideer of my calling.
You ve thought better of it, haven t you ? "
" Better ! ay, far better ! " she cried, in a voice that
thrilled with pride. " Leander, too modestly you have
rated yourself, for surely you are great amongst the sons
of men."
" Me / " he gasped, utterly overcome. " How do you
make that out ? "
" Do you not compel them to furnish sport for you ?
Have I not seen them come in, talking boldly and loud,
and yet seat themselves submissively at a sign from you ?
And do you not swathe them in the garb of humiliation,
and daub their countenances with whiteness, and threaten
their bared throats with the gleaming knife, and grind
their heads under the resistless wheel ? Then, having in
disdain granted them their worthless lives, you set them
free; and they propitiate you with a gift, and depart
trembling."
" Well, of all the topsy-turvy contrariness ! " he pro
tested. " You ve got it all wrong ; I declare you have !
But I ll put you right, if it s possible to do it." And he
launched into a lengthy explanation of the wonders she
had seen, at the end of which he inquired, " Now do you
understand I m nobody in particular ? "
" It may be so," she admitted ; " but what of that ?
Ere this have I been wild with love for a herdsman
on Phrygian hills. Aye, Adonis have I kissed in the
THE TINTED VENUS.
oakwood, and bewailed his loss. And did not Selene
descend to woo the neatherd Endymion ? Wherefore,
then, should I scorn thee ? and what are the differences
and degrees of mortals to such as I ! Be bold ; distrust
your merits no longer, since I, who amongst the god
desses obtained the prize of beauty, have chosen you for
my own."
" I don t care what prizes you won," he said, sulkily ;
" I m not yours, and I don t intend to be, either." He
was watching the clock impatiently all the while, for it
was growing very near nine.
" It is vain to struggle," she said, " since not the gods
themselves can resist Fate. We must yield, and contend
not."
" You begin it, then," he said. " Give me my ring."
" The sole symbol of my power ! the charm which
has called me from my long sleep ! Never ! "
" Then," said Leander, knowing full well that his
threat was an impossible one, " I shall place the matter
in the hands of a respectable lawyer."
" I understand you not ; but it is no matter. In
time I shall prevail."
" Well, mum, you must come again another evening,
if you ve no objection," said Leander, rudely, " because
I ve got to go out just now."
" I will accompany you," she said.
Leander nearly danced with frenzy. Take the statue
with him to meet his dear Matilda ! He dared not.
" You re very kind," he stammered, perspiring freely ; " but
I couldn t think of taking you out such a foggy evening."
" Have no cares for me," she answered ; " we will go
together. You shall explain to me the ways of this
changed world."
"Catch me/" was Leander s elliptical comment to
90
THE TINTED VENUS.
himself; but he had to pretend a delighted acquiescence.
" Well," he cried, " if I hadn t been thinking how lonely
it would be going out alone ! and now I shall have the
honour of your company, mum. You wait a bit here,
while I run upstairs and fetch my at."
But the perfidious man only waited until he was on
the other side of the door, which led from the saloon to
his staircase, to lock it after him, and slip out by the
private door into the street.
" Now, my lady," he thought triumphantly, " you re
safe for awhile, at all events. I ve put up the shutters,
and so you won t get out that way. And now for Tillie ! "
TWO ARE COMPANY
TWO ARE COMPANY.
VI.
" The shape
Which has made escape,
And before my countenance
Answers me glance for glance."
Mesmerism.
JLEANDER hastened eagerly to his trysting-place. All
these obstacles and difficulties had rendered his Matilda
tenfold dearer and more precious to him ; and besides, it
was more than a fortnight since he had last seen her.
But he was troubled and anxious still at the recollection
of the Greek statue shut up in his haircutting saloon.
What would Matilda say if she knew about it ; and
still worse, what might it not do if it knew about her?
Matilda might decline to continue his acquaintance for
she was a very right-minded girl unless Venus, like the
jealous and vindictive heathen she had shown herself
to be, were to crush her before she even had the
opportunity.
" It s a mess," he thought disconsolately, " whatever
way I look at it. But after to-night I won t meet Matilda
any more while I ve got that statue staying with me, or
no one could tell the consequences." However, when he
drew near the appointed spot, and saw the slender form
which awaited him there by the- railings, he forgot all but
95
. THE TINTED VENUS.
the present joy. Even the memory of the terrible divinity
could not live in the wholesome presence of the girl he
had the sense to truly and honestly love.
Matilda Collum was straight and slim, though not
tall ; she had a neat little head of light brown hair, which
curled round her temples in soft rings \ her complexion
was healthily pale, with the slightest tinge of delicate pink
in it ; she had a round but decided chin, and her grey
eyes were large and innocently severe, except on the rare
occasions when she laughed, and then their expression
was almost childlike in its gaiety.
Generally, and especially in business hours, her pretty
face was calm and slightly haughty, and rash male
customers who attempted to make the choice of a
"button-hole" an excuse for flirtation were not en
couraged to persevere. She was seldom demonstrative
to Leander it was not her way but she accepted his
effusive affection very contentedly, and, indeed, returned
it more heartily than her principles allowed her to admit ;
for she secretly admired his spirit and fluency, and, as is
often the case in her class of life, had no idea that she
was essentially her lover s superior.
After the first greetings, they walked slowly round the
square together, his arm around her waist. Neither said
very much for some minutes, but Leander was wildly,
foolishly happy, and there was no severity in Matilda s
eyes when they shone in the lamp-light.
" Well," he said, at last, " and so I ve actially got you
safe back again, my dear, darling Tillie ! It seems like
a long eternity since last we met. I ve been so beastly
miserable, Matilda ! "
" You do seem to have got thinner in the face,
Leander dear," said Matilda, compassionately. "What
have you been doing while I ve been away ? "
TWO ARE COMPANY.
" Only wishing my dearest girl back, that s all I ve
been doing."
" What ! haven t you given yourself any enjoyment at
all not gone out anywhere all the time ? "
" Not once leastwise, that is to say A guilty
memory of Rosherwich made him bungle here.
" Why, of course I didn t expect you to stop indoors
all the time," said Matilda, noticing the amendment, " so
long as you never went where you wouldn t take me."
Oh, conscience, conscience ! But Rosherwich didn t
count it was outside the radius ; and besides, he hadn t
enjoyed himself.
" Well," he said, " I did go out one evening, to hear a
lecture on Astronomy at the Town Hall, in the Gray s
Inn Road ; but then I had the ticket given me by a
customer, and I reely was surprised to find how regular
the stars was in their habits, comets and all. But my
Tilda is the only star of the evening for me, to-night. I
don t want to talk about anything else."
The diversion was successful, and Matilda asked no
more inconvenient questions. Presently she happened to
cough slightly, and he touched accusingly the light
summer cloak she was wearing.
" You re not dressed warm enough for a night like
this," he said, with a lover s concern. " Haven t you got
anything thicker to put on than that ? "
" I haven t bought my winter things yet," said Matilda;
" it was so mild, that I thought I d wait till I could afford
it better. But I ve chosen the very thing I mean to buy.
You know Mrs. Twilling s, at the top of the Row, the
corner shop? Well, in the window there s a perfectly
lovely long cloak, all lined with squirrel s fur, and with
those nice oxidized silver fastenings. A cloak like that
lasts ever so long, and will always look neat and quiet ;
97
THE TINTED VENUS.
and any one can wear it without being stared after ; so I
mean to buy it as soon as it turns really cold."
" Ah ! " said he, " I can t have you ketching cold, you
know; it ain t summer any longer, and I I ve been
thinking we must give up our evening strolls together for
the present."
" When you ve just been saying how miserable you ve
been without them. Oh, Leander ! "
" Without you" he amended lamely. " I shall see
you at aunt s, of course ; only we d better suspend the
walks while the nights are so raw. And, oh, Tillie, ere
long you will be mine, my little wife ! Only to think of
you keeping the books for me with your own pretty little
fingers, and sending out the bills ! (not that I give much
credit). Ah, what a blissful dream it sounds ! Does it
to you, Matilda ? "
" I m not sure that you keep your books the same
way as we do," she replied demurely; "but I dare say"
(and this was a great concession for Matilda) " I
dare say we shall suit one another."
" Suit one another ! " he cried. " Ah ! we shall be
inseparable as a brush and comb, Tillie, if you ll excuse
so puffessional a stimulus. And what a future lies before
me ! If I can only succeed in introducing some of my
inventions to public notice, we may rise, Tilly, * like an
exclamation, as the poet says. I believe my new nasal
splint has only to be known to become universally worn ;
and I ve been thinking out a little machine lately for
imparting a patrician arch to the flattest foot, that ought
to have an extensive run. I almost wish you weren t so
pretty, Tillie. I ve studied you careful, and I m bound
to say, as it is there really isn t room for any improvement
I could suggest. Nature s beaten me there, and I m not
too proud to own it."
98
TWO ARE COMPANY.
" Would you rather there was room ! " inquired
Matilda.
" From a puffessional point of view, it would have
inspired me," he said. " It would have suggested ideers,
and I shouldn t have loved you less, not if you hadn t had
a tooth in your mouth nor a hair on your head ; you
would still be my beautiful Tillie."
" I would rather be as I am, thank you," said
Matilda, to whom this fancy sketch did not appeal.
"And now, let s talk about something else. Do you
know that mamma is coming up to town at the end of
the week on purpose to see you ? "
" No," said Leander, " I I didn t."
" Yes, she s taken the whole of your aunt s first floor
for a week. (You know, she knew Miss Tweddle when
she was younger, and that was how I came to lodge
there, and to meet you.) Do you remember that Sunday
afternoon you came to tea, and your aunt invited me in,
because she thought I must be feeling so dull, all
alone ? "
" Ah, I should think I did ! Do you remember I
helped to toast the crumpets ? What a halcyon evening
that was, Matilda ! "
" Was it ? " she said. " I don t remember the weather
exactly ; but it was nice indoors."
" But, I say, Tillie, my own," he said, somewhat
anxiously, " how does your ma like your being engaged
to me?"
"Well, I don t think she does like it quite," said
Matilda. " She says she will reserve her consent till she
sees whether you are worthy ; but directly she sees you,
Leander, her objections will vanish."
" She has got objections, then ? What to ? "
" Mother always wanted me to keep my affections out
99
THE TINTED VENUS.
of trade," said Matilda. " You see, she never can forget
what poor papa was."
" And what was your poor papa ? " asked Leander.
" Didn t you know ? He was a dentist, and that
makes mamma so very particular, you see."
" But, hang it, Matilda ! you re employed in a flower-
shop, you know."
" Yes, but mamma never really approved of it ; only
she had to give way because she couldn t afford to keep
me at home, and I scorned to go out as a governess.
Never mind, Leander ; when she comes to know you and
hear your conversation, she will relent ; her pride will
melt."
" But suppose it keeps solid ; what will you do,
Matilda ? "
" I am independent, Leander ; and though I would
prefer to marry with mamma s approval, I shouldn t feel
bound to wait for it. So long as you are all I think you
are, I shouldn t allow any one to dictate to me."
" Bless you for those words, my angelic girl ! " he
said, and hugged her close to his breast. " Now I can
beard your ma with a light art. Oh, Matilda ! you can
form no ideer how I worship you. Nothing shall ever
come betwixt us two, shall it ? "
" Nothing, as far as I am concerned, Leander," she
replied. " What s the matter ? "
He had given a furtive glance behind him after the
last remarks, and his embrace suddenly relaxed, until his
arm was withdrawn altogether.
" Nothing is the matter, Matilda," he said. " Doesn t
the moon look red through the fog ? "
" Is that why you took away your arm ? " she
inquired.
" Yes that is, no. It occurred to me I was
100
TWO ARE COMPANY.
rendering you too conspicuous ; we don t want to go
about advertising ourselves, you know."
" But who is there here to notice ? " asked Matilda.
" Nobody," he said ; " oh, nobody ! but we mustn t
get into the way of it ; " and he cast another furtive rear
ward look. In the full flow of his raptures the miserable
hairdresser had seen a sight which had frozen his very
marrow a tall form, in flowing drapery, gliding up
behind with a tigress-like stealth. The statue had
broken out, in spite of all his precautions ! Venus,
jealous and exacting, was near enough to overhear every
word, and he could scarcely hope she had escaped seeing
the arm he had thrown round Matilda s waist.
" You were going to tell me how you worshipped me,"
said Matilda.
" I didn t say \worship" he protested ; " it it s only
images and such that expect that. But I can tell you
there s very few brothers feel to you as I feel."
" Brothers^ Leander ! " exclaimed Matilda, and walked
farther apart from him.
" Yes," he said. " After all, what tie s closer than a
brother ? A uncle s all very well, and similarly a cousin ;
but they can t feel like a brother does, for brothers they
are not."
" I should have thought there were ties still closer,"
said Matilda ; " you seemed to think so too, once."
" Oh, ah ! that ! " he said. (Every frigid word gave
him a pang to utter; but it was all for Matilda s sake.)
" There s time enough to think of that, my girl ; we
mustn t be in a hurry."
" I m not in a hurry," said Matilda.
" That s the proper way to look at it," said he ; " and
meanwhile I haven t got a sister I m fonder of than I am
of you."
101
THE TINTED VENUS.
" If you ve nothing more to say than that, we had
better part," she remarked ; and he caught at the sugges
tion with obvious relief. He had been in an agony of
terror, lest, even in the gathering fog, she should detect
that they were watched ; and then, too, it was better to
part with her under a temporary misconception than part
with her altogether.
" Well," he said, " I mustn t keep you out any longer,
with that cold."
" You are very ready to get rid of me," said poor
Matilda.
" The real truth is," he answered, simulating a yawn
with a heavy heart ; " I am most uncommon sleepy to
night, and all this standing about is too much for me. So
good-bye, and take care of yourself ! "
" I needn t say that to you," she said ; " but I won t
keep you up a minute longer. I wonder you troubled to
come out at all."
" Oh," he said, carefully keeping as much in front of
the statue as he could, " it s no trouble ; but you ll
excuse me seeing you to the door this evening ? "
" Oh, certainly," said Matilda, biting her lip. She
touched his hand with the ends of her fingers, and hurried
away without turning her head.
When she was out of sight, Leander faced round to
the irrepressible goddess. He was in a white rage ; but
terror and caution made him suppress it to some extent.
" So here you are again ! " he said.
" Why did you not wait for me ? " she answered. " I
remained long for you; you came not, and I fol
lowed."
" I see you did," said the aggrieved Leander ; " I
can t say I like being spied upon. If you re a goddess,
act as such ! "
102
J
IT IS A MISERABLE THING," HE WAS THINKING, "FOR A MAN
... TO HAVE A FEMALE STATUE TROTTING AFTER HIM
LIKE A GREAT DORG." {Page IO
TWO ARE COMPANY.
" What ! you dare to upbraid me ? " she cried.
" Beware, or I "
" I know," said Leander, flinching from her. " Don t
do that ; I only made a remark."
" I have the right to follow you ; I choose to do so."
" If you must, you must," he groaned j " but it does
seem hard that I mayn t slip out for a few minutes talk
with my only sister."
" You said you were going to run for business, and
you told me you had three sisters."
" So I have ; but only one youngest one."
" And why did they not all come to talk with you ? "
" I suppose because the other two stayed at home,"
rejoined Leander, sulkily.
" I know not why, but I doubt you ; that one who
came, she is not like you ! "
" No," said Leander, with a great show of candour,
" that s what every one says ; all our family are like that ;
we are like in a way, because we re all of us so different.
You can tell us anywhere just by the difference. My
father and mother were both very unlike : I suppose we
take after them."
The goddess seemed satisfied with this explanation.
"And now that I have regained you, let us return to
your abode," she said ; and Leander walked back by her
side, a prey to rage and humiliation.
" It is a miserable thing," he was thinking, " for a man
in my rank of life to have a female statue trotting after
him like a great dorg. I m d d if I put up with it !
Suppose we happen on somebody as knows me ! "
Fortunately, at that time of night Bloomsbury Square
is not much frequented ; the increasing fog prevented the
apparition of a female in classical garments from attract
ing the notice to which it might otherwise have been
105
THE TINTED VENUS.
exposed, and they reached the shop without any disagree
able encounter.
" She shan t stop in the saloon," he determined ;
" I ve had enough of that ! If you ve no objections," he
said, with a mixture of deference and dictation, " I shall
be obliged if you d settle yourself in the little shrine in
the upstairs room before proceeding to evaporate out of
your statue ; it would be more agreeable to my feelings."
" Ah ! " she said, smiling, " you would have me nearer
you ? Your stubborn heart is yielding ; a little while, and
you will own the power of Aphrodite ! "
" Now, don t you go deceiving yourself with any such
ideers," said the hairdresser, irritably. " I shan t do no
such thing, so you needn t think it. And, to come to
the point, how long do you mean to carry on this little
game ? "
" Game ? " repeated the goddess, absently.
" How long are you going to foller me about in this
ridiclous way ? "
" Till you submit, and profess your willingness to
redeem your promise."
" Oh, and you re coming every evening till then, are
you?"
" At nightfall of each day I have power to revisit
you."
" Well, come then ! " he said, with a fling of impatient
anger. " I tell you beforehand that you won t get any
thing by it. Not if you was to come and bring a whole
stonemason s yard of sculptures along with you, you
wouldn t ! You ought to know better than to come
pestering a respectable tradesman in this bold-faced
manner ! "
She smiled with a languid contemptuous tolerance,
which maddened Leander.
106
TWO ARE COMPANY.
" Rave on," she said. " Truly, you are a sorry prize
for such as I to stoop to win ; yet I will it, nor shall you
escape me. There will come a day when, forsaken by
all you hold dear on earth, despised, ruined, distracted,
you will pray eagerly for the haven of refuge to which I
alone can guide you. Take heed, lest your conduct now
be remembered then ! I have spoken."
They were indeed her last words that evening, and
they impressed the hairdresser, in spite of himself.
Custom habituates the mind to any marvel, and already
he had overcome his first horror at the periodical
awakenings of the statue, and surprise was swallowed up
by exasperation ; now, however, he quailed under her
dark threats. Could it ever really come to pass that he
would sue to this stone to hide him in the realms of the
supernatural ?
" I know this," he told himself, " if it once gets about
that there s a hairdresser to be seen in Bloomsbury
chivied about after dark by a classical statue, I shan t
dare to show my face. Yet I don t know how I m to
prevent her coming out after me, at all events now and
then. If she was only a little more like other people, I
shouldn t mind so much ; but it s more than I can bear
to have to go about with a tdblow vivant or a pose
plastiqiie on my arm ! "
All at once he started to his feet. " I ve got it 1 " he
cried, and went downstairs to his laboratory, to reappear
with some camel-hair brushes, grease-paints, and a selec
tion from his less important discoveries in the science of
cosmetics ; namely, an " eyebrow accentuator," a vase of
"Tweddle s Cream of Carnations" and " Blondinette
Bloom," a china box of " Conserve of Coral" for the lips,
and one of his most expensive chevelures.
He was trembling as he arranged them upon his
107
THE TINTED VENUS.
table ; not that he was aware of the enormity of the act
he contemplated, but he was afraid the goddess might
revisit the marble while he was engaged upon it.
He furnished the blank eye-sockets with a pair of
eyes, which, if not exactly artistic, at least supplied a
want ; he pencilled the eyebrows, laid on several coats of
the " Bloom," which he suffused cunningly with a tinge of
carnation, and stained the pouting lips with his " Conserve
of Coral."
So far, perhaps, he had not violated the canons of
art, and may even have restored to the image some
thing of its pristine hues ; but his next addition was one
the vandalism of which admits of no possible defence,
and when he deftly fitted the coiffure of light closely-
curled hair upon the noble classical head, even Leandcr
felt dimly that something was wrong !
" I don t know how it is," he pondered ; " she looks
more natural, but not half so respectable. However,
when she s got something on to cover the marble, there
won t be anything much to notice about her. I ll buy a
cloak for her the first thing to-morrow morning. Matilda
was saying something about a shop near here where I
could get that. And then, if this Venus must come
following me about, she ll look less outlandish at any
rate, and that s something ! "
108
A FURTHER PREDICAMENT
A FURTHER PREDICAMENT.
VII.
" So long as the world contains us both,
Me the loving and you the loth,
While the one eludes, must the other pursue."
Broivning.
IMMEDIATELY after breakfast the next day, Leander
went out and paid a visit to Miss Twilling s, bringing away
with him a hooded cloak of the precise kind he remem
bered Matilda to have described as unlikely to render its
owner conspicuous. With this garment he succeeded in
disguising the statue to such a degree, that it was far less
likely than before that the goddess s appearance in public
would excite any particular curiosity a result which
somewhat relieved his anxiety as to her future pro
ceedings.
But all that day his thoughts were busy with Matilda.
He must, he feared, have deeply offended her by his
abrupt change on the previous night ; and now he could
not expect to meet her again for days, and would not
know how to explain his conduct if he did meet her.
If he could only dare to tell her everything ; but from
such a course he shrank. Matilda would not only be
extremely indignant (though, in very truth, he had done
nothing positively wrong as yet), but, with her strict
notions and well-regulated principles, she would assuredly
in
THE TINTED VENUS.
recoil from a lover who had brought himself into a pre
dicament so hideous. He would tell her all when, or if,
he succeeded in extricating himself.
But he was to learn the nature of Matilda s sentiments
sooner than he expected. It was growing dusk, and he
was unpacking a parcel of goods in his front shop for
his saloon happened to be empty just then when the
outer door swung back, and a slight girlish figure entered,
after a pause of indecision on the threshold. It was
Matilda.
Had she come to break it off to reproach him ? He
was prepared for no less ; she had never paid him a visit
like this alone before ; and some doubts of the propriety
of the thing seemed to be troubling her now, for she did
not speak.
" Matilda," he faltered, " don t tell me you have
come in a spirit of unpleasantness, for I can t bear it."
" Don t you deserve that I should ? " she said, but not
angrily. " You know, you were very strange in behaving
as you did last night. I couldn t tell what to make
of it."
" I know," he said confusedly ; " it was something
come over me, all of a sudden like. I can t understand
what made me like that ; but, oh, Tillie, my dearest love,
my art was busting with adoration all the time ! The
circumstances was highly peculiar ; but I don t know
that I could explain them."
" You needn t, Leander ; I have found you out." She
said this with a strange significance.
" What ! " he almost shrieked. " You don t mean it,
Matilda ! Tell me, quick ! has the discovery changed
your feelings towards me ? Has it ? "
" Yes," she said softly. " I I think it has ; but you
ought not to have done it, Leander."
112
A FURTHER PREDICAMENT.
"I know," he groaned. "I was a fool, Tillie; a
fool ! But I may get out of it yet," he added. " I can get
her to let me off. I must I will ! "
Matilda opened her eyes. " But, Leander dear,
listen ; don t be so hasty. I never said I wanted her to
let you off, did I ?
He looked at her in a dazed manner. " I rather
Jthought," he said slowly, " that it might have put you out
a little. I see I was mistook."
" You might have known that I should be more
pleased than angry, I should think," said Matilda.
" More pleased than I might have known ! "
exclaimed the bewildered man. " Oh, you can t reely
be taking it as cool as this ! Will you kindly inform me
what it is you re alludin to in this way ? "
" What is the use of pretending ? You know I know.
And it is colder, much colder, this morning. I felt it
directly I got up."
" Quite a change in the weather, I m sure," he said
mechanically ; " it feels like a frost coming on." (" Has
Matilda looked in to tell me the weather s changed?"
he was wondering within himself. " Either I m mad, or
Matilda is.")
" You dear old goose ! " said Matilda, with an unusual
effusiveness ; " you shan t tease me like this ! Do you
think I ve no eyes and no feelings ? Any girl, I don t
care how proud or offended, would come round on such
proof of devotedness as I ve had this evening. When I
saw it gone, I felt I must come straight in and thank you,
and tell you I shouldn t think any more of last night. I
couldn t stop myself."
" When you saw what gone ? " cried the hairdresser,
rubbing up his hair.
" The cloak," said Matilda ; and then, as she saw his
"3
THE TINTED VENUS.
expression, her own changed. " Leander Tweddle," she
asked, in a dry hard voice, "have I been making a
wretched fool of myself? Didrit you buy that cloak ? "
He understood at last. He had gone to Miss
Twilling s chiefly because he was in a hurry and it was
close by, and he knew nowhere else where he could
be sure of getting what he required. Now, by some
supreme stroke of the ill-luck which seemed to be pursuing
him of late, he had unwittingly purchased the identical
garment on which Matilda had fixed her affections ! How
was he to notice that they took it out of the window for
him?
All this flashed across him as he replied, " Yes, yes,
Tillie, I did buy a cloak there ; but are you sure it was
the same you told me about ? "
" Do you think a woman doesn t know the look of a
thing like that, when it s taken her fancy ? " said Matilda.
" Why, I could tell you every clasp and tassel on that
cloak ; it wasn t one you d see every day, and I knew it
was gone the moment I passed the window. It quite
upset me, for I d set my heart on it so ; and I ran in to
Miss Twilling, and asked her what had become of it ; and
when she said she d sold it that morning, I thought I
should have fainted. You see, it never struck me that it
could be you ; for how could I dream that you d be
clever enough to go and choose the very one ? Leander,
it ivas clever of you ! "
" Yes," he said, with a bitter rail against himself,
" I m a clever chap, I am ! But how did you find out ? "
" Oh, I made Miss Twilling (I often get little things
there), I made her describe who she sold it to, and she
said she thought it was to a gentleman in the haircutting
persuasion who lived near ; and then, of course, I guessed
who bought it."
114
A FURTHER PREDICAMENT.
" Tillie," gasped Leander, " I I didn t mean you to
guess ; the purpose for which I require that cloak is my
secret."
" Oh, you silly man, when I ve guessed it ! And I
take it just as kind of you as if it was to be all a surprise.
I was wishing as I came along I could afford to buy it at
once, it struck so cold coming out of our place ; and
you had actually bought it for me all the time ! Thank
you ever so much, Leander dear ! "
He had only to accept the position ; and he did.
" I m glad you re pleased," he said ; " I intended it as a
surprise."
" And I am surprised," said Matilda ; " because, do
you know, last night, when I went home, I was feeling
very cross with you. I kept thinking that perhaps you
didn t care, for me any more, and were trying to break it
off; and, oh, all sorts of horrid things I kept thinking !
And aunt gave me a message for you this morning, and I
was so out of temper I wouldn t leave it. And now to
find you ve been so kind ! "
She stretched out her hand to him across the counter,
and he took and held it tight ; he had never seen her
looking sweeter, nor felt that she was half so dear to him.
After all, his blunder had brought them together again,
and he was grateful to it.
At last Matilda said, " You were quite right about
this wrapper, Leander ; it s not half warm enough for a
night like this. I m really afraid to go home in it."
He knew well enough what she intended him to do ;
but just then he dared not appear to understand. " It
isn t far, only to Millman Street," he said ; " and you
must walk fast, Tillie. I wish I could leave the shop
and come too."
" You want me to ask you downright," she said
"5
THE TINTED VENUS.
pouting. " You men can t even be kind prettily. Don t
you want to see how I look in your cloak, Leander ? "
What could he say after that ? He must run up
stairs, deprive the goddess of her mantle, and hand it
over to Matilda. She had evidently made up her mind
to have that particular cloak, and he must buy the statue
another. It would be expensive ; but there was no help
for it.
" Certainly," he said, " you shall have it now, dearest,
if you d like to. I ll run up and fetch it down, if you ll
wait."
He rushed upstairs, two steps at a time, and, flinging
open the door of a cupboard, began desperately to un
cloak his Aphrodite. She was lifeless still, which he
considered fortunate.
But the goddess seemed to have a natural propensity
to retain any form of portable property. One of her
arms was so placed that, tug and stretch as he would,
Leander could not get the cloak from her shoulders,
and his efforts only broke one of the oxidized silver
fastenings, and tore part of the squirrel s-fur lining.
It was useless, and with a damp forehead he came
down again to his expectant fiancee.
" Why, you haven t got it, after all ! " she cried, her
face falling.
." Tillie, my own dear girl," he said, " I m uncommon
sorry, upon my soul I am, but you can t have that cloak
this evening."
" But why, Leander, why ? "
"Because one of the clasps is broke. It must be
sent back to be repaired."
" I don t mind that. Let me have it just as it is."
"And the lining s torn. No, Matilda, I shan t make
you a present of a damaged article. I shall send it back.
116
A FURTHER PREDICAMENT.
They must change it for me." (" Then," he thought, " I
can buy my Matilda another.")
" I don t care for any other but that," she said ; " and
you can t match it."
" Oh, lor ! " he thought, " and she knows every inch
of it. The goddess must give it up ; it ll be all the same
to her. Very well then, dearest, you shall have that, but
not till it s done up. I must have my way in this ; and
as soon as ever I can, I ll bring it round."
" Leander, could you bring it me by Sunday," she
said eagerly, " when you come ? "
" Why Sunday ? " he asked.
" Because oh, that was the message your aunt asked
me to bring you ; it was in a note, but I ve lost it. She
told me what was inside though, and it s this. Will you
give her the pleasure of your company at her mid-day
dinner at two o clock, to be introduced to mamma ? And
she said you were to be sure and not forget her ring."
He tottered for a moment. The ring ! Yes, there
was that to be got off, too, besides the cloak.
" Haven t you got the ring from Vidler s yet ? " she
said. " He s had it such a time."
He had told her where he had left it for alterations.
" Yes," he said, " he has had it a time. It s disgraceful
the way that old Vidler potters and potters. I shall go
round and urry him up. I won t stand it any longer."
Here a customer came in, and Matilda slipped away
with a hurried good-bye.
" I ve got till Sunday to get straight," the hairdresser
thought, as he attended on the new comer, " the best
part of a week ; surely I can talk that Venus over by
that time."
When he was alone he went up to see her, without
losing a moment. He must have left the door unlocked
117
THE TINTED VENUS.
in his haste, for she was standing before the low chimney-
glass, regarding herself intently. As he came in she
turned.
"Who has done all this?" she demanded. "Tell
me, was it you ? "
" I did take the liberty, mum," he faltered guiltily.
" You have done well," she said graciously. "With
reverent and loving care have you imparted hues as of
life to these cheeks, and decked my image in robes of
costly skins."
" Don t name it, mum," he said.
" But what are these ? " she continued, raising a
hand to the light ringlets on her brow. " I like them
not they are unseemly. The waving lines, parted by
the bold chisel of a Grecian sculptor, resemble my
ambrosial tresses more nearly than this abomination."
" You may go all over London," said Leander, " and
you won t find a coiffure, though I say it, to set closer
and defy detection more naturally than the one you ve
got on ; selected from the best imported foreign hair in
the market, I do assure you."
" I accept the offering for the spirit in which it was
presented, though I approve it not otherwise."
" You ll find it wear very comfortable," said Leander ;
" but that cloak, now I come to see it on, it reely is most
unworthy of you, a very inferior piece of goods, and, if
you ll allow me, I ll change it," and he gently extended
his hand to draw it off.
" Touch it not," said the goddess ; " for, having once
been placed upon my effigy, it is consecrated to my
service."
" For mercy s sake, let me get another one one with
more style about it," he entreated ; "my credit hangs
on it ! "
118
SHE WAS STANDING BEFORE THE LOW CHIMNEY-GLASS, REGARDING
HERSELF INTENTLY. \_PagC Il8.
A FURTHER PREDICAMENT.
" I am content," she said, " more than content. No
more words I retain it. And you have pleased me by
this conduct, my hairdresser. Unknown it may be, even
to yourself, your heart is warming in the sunshine of my
favour ; you are coy and wayward, but you are yielding.
Though pent in this form, carved by a mortal hand, I
shall prevail in the end. I shall have you for my own."
He rumpled his hair wildly, " Orrid obstinate these
goddesses are," he thought. "What am I to say to
Matilda now ? If I could only find a way of getting this
statue shut up somewhere where she couldn t come and
bother me, I d take my chance of the rest. I can t go
on with this sort of thing every evening. I m sick and
tired of it."
Then something occurred to him. " Could I delude
her into it ? " he asked himself. " She s soft enough in
some things, and, for all she s a goddess, she don t seem
up to our London ways yet. I ll have a try, anyway."
So he began : " Didn t I understand you to observe,
mum, some time back, that the pidgings and sparrers
were your birds ? "
" They are mine," she said " or they were mine in
days that are past."
"Well," he said, "there s a place close by, with
railings in front of it, and steps and pillars as you go in,
and if you like to go and look in the yard there you ll
find pidgings enough to set you up again. I shouldn t
wonder if they ve been keeping them for you all this
time."
" They shall not lose by it," she said. " Go thither,
and bring me my birds."
" I think," he said, " it would be better if you d go
yourself; they don t know me at the British Museum.
But if you was to go to the beadle at the lodge and
121
THE TINTED VENUS.
demand them, I ve no doubt you d be attended to ; and
you ll see some parties at the gates in long coats
and black cloth elmets, which if you ask them to ketch
you a few sparrers, they ll probably be most happy to
oblige."
" My.beloved birds ! " she said. " I have been absent
from them so long. Yes, I will go. Tell me where."
He got his hat, and went with her to a corner of
Bloomsbury Square, from which they could see the
railings fronting the Museum in the steel-tinted haze of
electric light.
" That s the place," he said. " Keeps its own moon
shine, you see. Go straight in, and tell em you re come
to fetch your doves."
" I will do so," she said, and strode off in imperious
majesty.
He looked after her with an irrepressible chuckle.
" If she ain t locked up soon, I don t know myself,"
he said, and went back to his establishment.
He had only just dismissed his apprentice and secured
the shop for the night, when he heard the well-known
tread up the staircase. " Back again ! I don t have any
luck," he muttered ; and with reason, for the statue,
wearing an expression of cold displeasure, advanced into
his room. He felt a certain sense of guilt as he saw her.
" Got the birds ? " he inquired, with a nervous
familiarity, " or couldn t you bring yourself to ask for
them ? "
" You have misled me," she said. " My birds are not
there. I came to gates in front of a stately pile doubt
less erected to some god ; at the entrance stood a priest,
burly and strong, with gold-embroidered garments "
(" The beadle, I suppose," commented Leander.)
" I passed him unseen, and roamed unhindered over
122
A FURTHER PREDICAMENT.
the courtyard. It was bare, save for one or two
worshippers who crossed it. Presently a winged thing-
fluttered down to my feet. But though a dove indeed,
it was no bird of mine it knew me not. And it was
draggled, begrimed, uncleanly, as never were the doves
of Aphrodite. And the sparrows (for these, too, did I
see), they were worse. I motioned them from me with
loathing. I renounced them all. Thus, Leander, have
I fared in following your counsels ! "
" Well, it ain t my fault," he said ; " it s the London
soot makes them like that. There s some at the Guild
hall : perhaps they re cleaner."
" No," she said, vehemently ; " I will seek no further.
This is a city of darkness and mire. I am in a land, an
age, which know me not : this much have I learnt already.
The world was fairer and brighter of old ! "
" You see," said Leander, " if you only go about at
night, you can t expect sunshine ! But I m told there s
cleaner and brighter places to be seen abroad if you
cared to go there ? " he insinuated.
" To one place only, to my Cyprian caves, will I go,"
she declared, " and with you ! "
" We ll talk about that some other time," he answered,
soothingly. " Lady Venus, look here, don t you think
you ve kept that ring long enough? I ve asked you
civilly enough, goodness knows, to and it over, times
without number. I ask you once more to act fair. You
know it came to you quite accidental, and yet you want
to take advantage of it like this. It ain t right ! "
She met this with her usual scornful smile. " Listen,
Leander," she said. " Once before how long since I
know not a mortal, in sport or accident, placed his ring
as you have done upon the finger of a statue erected to
me. I claimed fulfilment of the pledge then, as now j
123
THE TINTED VENUS.
but a force I could not withstand was invoked against
me, and I was made to give up the ring, and with it the
power and rights I strove to exert. But I will not again
be thwarted : no force, no being shall snatch you from
me ; so be not deceived. Submit, ere you excite my
fierce displeasure ; submit now, since in the end submit
you must ! "
There was a dreadful force in the sonorous tones
which made him shiver ; a rigid inflexible will lurked in
this form, with all its subtle curves and feminine grace.
If goddesses really retained any power in these days,
there could be no doubt that she would use hers to the
full.
Yet he still struggled. " I can t make you give up
the ring," he said ; " but no more you can t make me
leave my my establishment, and go away underground
with you. I m an Englishman, I am, and Englishmen
are free, mum ; p r aps you wasn t aware of that ? I ve
got a will of my own, and so you ll find it ! "
" Poor worm ! " she said pityingly (and the hairdresser
hated to be addressed as a poor worm), " why oppose thy
weak will to mine ? Why enlist my pride against thyself ;
for what hast thou of thine own to render thy conquest
desirable ? Thou art bent upon defiance, it seems. I
leave thee to reflect if such a combat can be equal.
Farewell ; and at my next coming let me find a change ! "
And the spirit of the goddess fled, as before, to the
mysterious realms from which she had been so incautiously
evoked, leaving Leander almost frantic with rage, super
stitious terror, and baffled purposes.
" I must get the ring off," he muttered, " and the
cloak, somehow. Oh ! if I could only find out how
There was that other chap he got off; she said as much.
If I could get out how he managed it, why couldn t I do
124
A FURTHER PREDICAMENT.
the same? But who s to tell me? She won t not if
she knows it ! I wonder if it s in any history. Old
Freemoult would know it if it was he s such a scholar.
Why, he gave me a name for that airwash without having
to think twice over it ! I ll try and pump old Freemoult.
I ll do it to-morrow, too. I ll see if I m to be domineered
over by a image out of a tea-garden. Eh ? I I don t
care if she did hear me ! "
So Leander went to his troubled pillow, full of this
new resolution, which seemed to promise a way of
escape.
125
BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND
THE DEEP SEA
BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA.
VIII.
" Some, when they take Revenge, are Desirous the party should
know whence it cometh : This is the more Generous." BACON.
1 N the Tottenham Court Road was a certain Commercial
Dining-room, where Leander occasionally took his evening
meal, after the conclusion of his day s work, and where
Mr. Freemoult was accustomed to take his supper, on
leaving the British Museum Library.
To this eating-house Leander repaired the very next
evening, urged by a consuming desire to learn the full
particulars of the adventure which his prototype in mis
fortune had met with.
It was an unpretending little place, with the bill of
fare wafered to the door, and red curtains in the windows,
setting off a display of joints, cauliflowers, and red
herrings. He passed through into a long, low room,
with dark-brown grained walls, partitioned off in the
usual manner ; and taking a seat in a box facing the
door, he ordered dinner from one of the shirtsleeved
attendants.
The first glance had told him that the man he wished
to see was not there, but he knew he must come in before
long ; and, in fact, before Leander s food could be brought,
the old scholar made his appearance.
129
THE TINTED VENUS.
He was hardly a man of attractive exterior, being of
a yellow complexion, with a stubbly chin, and lank iron-
grey locks. He wore a tall and superannuated hat with
a staring nap, and the pockets of his baggy coat bulged
with documents. Altogether he did not seem exactly the
person to be an authority on the subject of Venus.
But, as the hairdresser was aware, he had the repu
tation of being a mine of curious and out-of-the-way
information, though few thought it worth their while to
work him. He gained a living, however, by hackwork
of various descriptions, and was in slightly better circum
stances than he allowed to appear.
As he passed slowly along the central passage, in his
usual state of abstraction, Leander touched him eagerly
on the sleeve. " Come in ere, Mr. Freemoult, sir," he
said ; " there s room in this box."
" It s the barbe \ is it?" said the old man. " What
do you want me to eat with you for, eh ? "
" Why, for the pleasure of your company, sir, of
course," said Leander, politely.
"Well," said the old gentleman, sitting down, while
documents bristled out of him in all directions, " there
are not many who would say that not many now."
" Don t you say so, Mr. Freemoult, sir. I m sure it s
a benefit, if only for your conversation. I often say, I
never meet Mr. Freemoult without I learn somethink ; I
do indeed."
" Then we must have met less often than I had
imagined."
" Now, you re too modest, sir ; you reelly are a
scholar like you, too ! Talking of scholarship, you ll be
gratified to hear that that title you were good enough to
suggest for the * Regenerator is having a quite surprising
success. I disposed of five bottles over the counter only
130
BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA.
yesterday." (" These old scholars," was his wily reflec
tion, " like being flattered up.")
" Does that mean you ve another beastly bottle you
want me to stand godfather to ? " growled the ungrateful
old gentleman.
" Oh no, indeed, sir ! It s only But p r aps
you ll allow me previously the honour of sending out for
whatever beverage you was thinking of washing down
your boiled beef with, sir."
" Do you know who I am ? " Mr. Freemoult burst out.
" I m a scholar, and gentleman enough still to drink at
my own expense ! "
" I intended no offence, I m sure, sir ; it was only
meant in a friendly way."
" That is the offence, sir ; that is the offence ! But,
there, we ll say no more about it ; you can t help your
profession, and I can t help my prejudices. What was it
you wanted to ask me ? "
" Well," said Leander, " I was desirous of getting
some information respecting ahem a party by the name
of (if I ve caught the foreign pronounciation) Haphrodite,
otherwise known as Venus. Do you happen to have
heard tell of her?"
" Have I had a classical education, sir, or haven t I ?
Heard of her ? Of course I have. But why, in the name
of Mythology, any hairdresser living should trouble his
head about Aphrodite, passes my comprehension. Leave
her alone, sir ! "
" It s her who won t leave me alone ! " thought
Leander ; but he did not say so. " I ve a very particular
reason for wishing to know ; and I m sure if you could
tell me all you d heard about her, I d take it very kind of
you."
" Want to pick my brains ; well, you wouldn t be the
THE TINTED VENUS.
first. But I am here, sir, to rest my brain and refresh my
body, not to deliver peripatetic lectures to hairdressers
on Grecian mythology."
" Well," said Leander, " I never meant you to give
your information peripatetic ; I m willing to go as far as
half a crown."
" Conf But, there, what s the good of being
angry with you ? Is this the sort of thing you want for
your half-crown ? Aphrodite, a later form of the Assyrian
Astarte ; the daughter, according to some theogonies, of
Zeus and Dione ; others have it that she was the offspring
of the foam of the sea, which gathered round the frag
ments of the mutilated Uranos
"That don t seem so likely, do it, sir?" said
Leander.
" If you are going to crop in with idiotic remarks, I
shall confine myself to my supper."
" Don t stop, Mr. Freemoult, sir ; it s most instructive.
I m attending."
But the old gentleman, after a manner he had, was
sunk in a dreamy abstraction for the moment, in which
he apparently lost the thread, as he resumed, " Where
upon Zeus, to punish her, gave her in wedlock to his
deformed son, Hephaestus."
" She never mentioned him to me" thought Leander ;
" but I suppose she s a widow goddess by this time ; I m
sure I hope so."
" Whom," Mr. Freemoult was saying, " she deceived
upon several occasions, notably in the case of " And
here he launched into a scandalous chronicle, which deter
mined Leander more than ever that Matilda must never
know he had entertained a personage with such a past.
" Angered by her indiscretions, Zeus inspired her with
love for a mortal man."
132
BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA.
" Poor devil ! " said Leander, involuntarily. " And
what became of / ;;/, sir ? "
" There were several thus distinguished ; amongst
others, Anchises, Adonis, and Cinyras. Of these, the
first was struck by lightning ; the second slain by a wild
boar; and the third is reputed to have perished in a
contest with Apollo."
" They don t seem to have had no luck, any of them,"
was Leander s depressed conclusion.
" Aphrodite, or Venus, as you choose to call her, took
a prominent part in the Trojan war, the origin of which
ten years struggle may be traced to a certain golden
apple."
" What an old rag-bag it is ! " thought Leander. " I m
only wasting money on him. He s like a bran-pie at a
fancy fair : what you get out of him is always the thing
you didn t want."
" No, no, Mr. Freemoult," he said, with some im
patience ; " leave out about the war and the apple. It
it isn t either of them as I wanted to hear about."
" Then I have done," said the old man, curtly.
" You ve had considerably more than half a crown s
worth, as it is."
" Look here, Mr. Freemoult," said the reckless hair
dresser, " if you can t give me no better value, I don t
mind laying out another sixpence in questions."
" Put your questions, then, by all means ; and I ll
give you your fair sixpenn orth of answers. Now, then,
I m ready for you. What s your difficulty ? Out with it."
" Why," said Leander, in no small confusion, " isn t
there a story somewhere of a statue to Venus as some
young man (a long time back it was, of course) was said
to have put his ring on ? and do you know the rights of
it ? I I can t remember how it ended, myself."
133
THE TINTED VENUS.
" Wait a bit, sir ; I think I do remember something
of the legend you refer to. You found it in the Earthly
Paradise, I make no doubt ? "
" I found it in Rosherwich Gardens," Leander very
nearly blurted out ; but he stopped himself, and said
instead, " I don t think I ve ever been there, sir ; not to
remember it."
" Well, well ! you re no lover of poetry, that s very
evident ; but the story is there. Yes, yes ; and Burton
has a version of it, too, in his Anatomy. How does it
go? Give my head a minute to clear, and I ll tell
you. Ha ! I have it ! It was something like this :
There was a certain young gentleman of Rome who,
on his wedding-day, went out to play tennis; and
in the tennis-court was a brass statue of the goddess
Venus "
(" Mine ought to be brass, from her goings on,"
thought Leander.)
" And while he played he took off his finger-ring and
put it upon the statue s hand ; a mighty foolish act, as you
will agree."
" Ah ! " said Leander, shaking his head ; " you may
say that ! What next, sir ? " He became excited to find
that he really was on the right track at last.
" Why, when the game was over, and he came to get
his ring, he found he couldn t get it off again. Ha ! ha ! "
and the old man chuckled softly, and then relapsed once
more into silence.
" Yes, yes, Mr. Freemoult, sir ! I m a-listening ; it s
very funny ; only do go on ! "
" Go on ? Where was I ? Hadn t I finished ? Ah,
to be sure ! Well, so Paris gave her the apple, you
see."
" I didn t understand you to allude to no apple," said
134
BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA.
his puzzled hearer ; " and it was at Rome, I thought, not
Paris. Bring your mind more to it, sir ; we d got to the
ring not coming off the statue."
" I know, sir ; I know. My mind s clear enough, let
me tell you. That very night (as I was about to say, if
you d had patience to hear me) Venus stepped in and
parted the unfortunate pair "
" It was a apple just now, you aggravating old muddle
ed ! " said Leander, internally.
" Venus informed the young man that he had be
trothed himself to her by that ring" ("Same game
exactly," thought the pupil), " and and, in short, she
led him such a life for some nights, that he could bear it
no longer. So at length he repaired to a certain mighty
magician called Let me see, what was his name
again ? It wasn t Agrippa was it Albertus ? Odd ; it
has escaped .me for the moment."
" Never mind, sir ; call him Jones."
" I will not call him Jones, sir ! I had it on my
tongue there, Palumbus ! Palumbus it was. Well,
Palumbus told him the goddess would never cease to
trouble him, unless he could get back the ring unless
he could get back the ring."
Leander s heart began to beat high ; the solution of
his difficulty was at hand. It was something to know for
certain that upon recovery of the ring the goddess s power
would be at an end. It only remained to find out how
the other young man managed it. "Yes, Mr. Freemoult?"
he said interrogatively; for the old gentleman had run
down again.
" I was only thinking it out. To resume, then. No
sooner had the magician (whose name as I said was
Apollonius) come to the wedding, than he promptly
conjectured the bride to be a serpent; whereupon she
135
THE TINTED VENUS.
vanished incontinently, after the manner of serpents,
with the house and furniture."
" Haven t you missed out a lot, sir ? " inquired
Leander, deferentially ; " because it don t seem to me to
hook on quite. What became of Venus and the ring ? "
" How the dickens am I to tell you, if you will
interrupt ? Ring ! What ring ? Why, yes ; the magician
gave the young man a certain letter, and told him to go
to a particular cross-road outside the city, at dead of
night, and wait for Saturn to pass by in procession, with
his fallen associates. This he did, and presented the
magician s letter ; which Saturn, after having read, called
Venus to him, who was riding in front, and commanded
her to deliver up the ring."
Here he stopped, as if he had nothing to add.
" And did she, sir ? " asked Leander, breathlessly.
" Did she what ? give up the ring ? Of course she did.
Haven t I been saying so ? Why not ? "
"Well," observed Leander, "so that s how he got
out of it, was it ? Hah ! he was a lucky chap. Those
were the days when magicians did a good trade, I
suppose? Should you say there were any such parties
now, on the quiet like, eh, sir ? "
" Bah ! Magic is a lost art, degraded to dark seances
and juvenile parties the last magician dead for more
than two hundred years. Don t expose your ignorance,
sir, by any more such questions."
" No," said Leander ; " I thought as much. And so,
if any one was to get into such a fix nowadays of course,
that s only my talk, but if they did there ain t a practis
ing magician anywhere to help him out of it. That s
your opinion, ain t it, sir ? "
" As the danger of such a contingency is not
immediate," was the reply, "the want of a remedy
136
BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA.
need not, in my humble opinion, cause you any grave
uneasiness."
" No," agreed Leander, dejectedly. " I don t care, of
course. I was only thinking that, in case but there, it s
no odds ! Well, Mr. Freemoult, you ve told me what I
was curious to know, and here s your little honnyrarium,
sir two shillings and two sixpences, making three
shillings in all, pre-cisely."
" Keep your money, sir," said the old man, with
contemptuous good humour. " My working hours are
done for the day, and you re welcome enough to any
instruction you re capable of receiving from my remarks.
It s not saying much, I dare say."
" Oh, you told it very clear, considering, sir, I m
sure ! I don t grudge it."
" Keep it, I tell you, and say no more about it."
So, expressing his thanks, Leander left the place ;
and, when he was outside, felt more keenly than ever the
blow his hopes had sustained.
He knew the whole story of his predecessor in mis
fortune now, and, as a precedent, it was worse than
useless.
True, for an instant a wild idea had crossed his mind,
of seeking some lonely suburban cross-road at dead of
night, just to see if anything came of it. "The last
time was several hundred years ago, it seems," he told
himself; " but there s no saying that Satan mightn t
come by, for all that. Here s Venus persecuting as lively
as ever, and I never heard the devil was dead. I ve a
good mind to take the tram to the Archway, and walk
out till I find a likely-looking place."
But, on reflection, he gave this up. " If he did come
by, I couldn t bring him a line not even from the
conjuror in High Oborn and Satan might make me
137
THE TINTED VENUS.
put my hand to something binding, and I shouldn t be
no better off. No ; I don t see no way of getting back
my ring and poor Tillie s cloak, nor yet getting rid
of that goddess, any more than before. There s one
comfort, I can t be any worse off than I am."
Oppressed by these gloomy reflections, he returned
to his home, expecting a renewal of his nightly persecu
tion from the goddess ; but from some cause, into which
he was too grateful to care to inquire, the statue that
evening showed no sign of life in his presence, and after
waiting with the cupboard open for some time in suspense,
he ventured to make himself some coffee.
He had scarcely tasted it, however, before he heard,
from the passage below, a low whistle, followed by
the peculiar stave by which a modern low-life Blondel
endeavours to attract attention. The hairdresser paid
no attention, being used, as a Londoner, to hearing such
signals, and not imagining they could be intended for
his ear.
But presently a handful of gravel rattled against his
window, and the whistle was repeated. He went to the
window cautiously, and looked out. Below were two
individuals, rather carefully muffled; their faces, which
were only indistinctly seen, were upturned to him.
He retreated, trembling. He had had so much to
think of lately, that the legal danger he was running, by
harbouring the detested statue, was almost forgotten;
but now he remembered the Inspector s words, and
his legs bent beneath him. Could these people be
detectives ?
" Is that Mr. Tweddle up there?" said a voice below
" because if it is, he d better come down, double quick,
and let us in, that s all ! "
" Ere, don t you skulk up there 1 " added a coarser
138
FOR ARF A PINT I D KNOCK YOUR BLOOMIN ED IN !
[Page 141.
BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA.
voice. " We know y er there ; and if yer don t come down
to us, why, we ll come up to you ! "
This brought Leander forward again. " Gentlemen,"
he said, leaning out, and speaking in an agitated whisper,
" for goodness sake, what do you want with me?"
" You let us in, and we ll tell you."
" Will it do if I come down and speak to you out
side ? " said Leander.
There was a consultation between the two at this,
and at the end of it the first man said : " It s all the
same to us, where we have our little confabulation. Come
down, and look sharp about it ! "
Leander came down, taking care to shut the street
door behind him. "You ain t the police?" he said,
apprehensively.
They each took an arm, and walked him roughly off
between them towards Queen Square. "We ll show you
who we are," they said.
" I I demand your authority for this," gasped
Leander. "What am I charged with?"
They had brought him into the gloomiest part of the
square, where the houses, used as offices in the daytime,
were now dark and deserted. Here they jammed him
up against the railings, and stood guard over him, while
he was alarmed to perceive a suppressed ferocity in the
faces of both.
" What are you charged with ? Grr ! For arf a
pint I d knock your bloomin ed in ! " said the coarser
gentleman of the two an evasive form of answer which
did not seem to promise a pleasant interview.
Leander was not naturally courageous, and what he
had gone through lately had shaken his nerves. Pie
thought that, for policemen, they showed too strong a
personal feeling ; but who else could they be ? He could
141
THE TINTED VENUS.
not remember having seen either of them before. One
was a tall, burly, heavy-jawed man; the other smaller
and slighter, and apparently the superior of the two in
education and position.
" You don t remember me, I see," said the latter ; and
then suddenly changing his tone to a foreign accent, he
said : " Haf you been since to drink a glass of beer at
your open-air gardens at Rosherwich ? "
Leander knew him then. It was his foreign customer
of Monday evening. His face was clean-shaven now, and
his expression changed not for the better.
" I think," he said, faintly, " I had the privilege of
cutting your air the other evening."
"You did, my friend, and I admired your taste for
the fine arts. This gentleman and I have, on talking it
over, been so struck by what I saw that evening, that we
ventured to call and inquire into it."
" Look ere, Count," said his companion, " there ain t
time for all that perliteness. You leave him to me ; / //
talk to him ! Now then, you white-livered little airy-
sneak, do you know who we are ? "
"No," said Leander; "and, excuse me calling of
your attention to it, but you re pinching my arm ! "
" I ll pinch it off before I ve done," said the burly
man. "Well, we re the men that have planned and
strived, and run all the risk, that you and your gang
might cut in and carry off our honest earnings. You
infernal little hair-cutting shrimp, you ! To think of being
beaten by the likes of you ! It s sickening, that s what it
is, sickening ! "
" I don t understand you as I live, gentlemen, I
don t understand you ! " pleaded Leander.
" You understand us well enough," said the ex-
foreigner, with an awful imprecation on all Leander s
142
BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA.
salient features ; " but you shall have it all in black and
white. We re the party that invented and carried out
that little job at Wricklesmarsh Court."
" Burglars ! Do you mean you re burglars ? " cried
the terrified Leander.
" We started as burglars, but we ve finished by being
made cat s-paws of by you, curse you ! You didn t
think we should find you out, did you ? But if you wanted
to keep us in the dark, you made two awkward little
slips : one was leaving your name and address at the
gardens as the party who was supposed to have last seen
the statue, and the other was keeping the said statue
standing about in your hair-cutting room, to meet the eye
of any gentleman calling out of curiosity, and never
expecting such a find as that."
" What s the good of jawing at him, Count ? That
won t satisfy me, it won t. Ere, I can t old myself of!
him any longer. I must put a ed on him."
But the other interposed. " Patience, my good
Braddle. No violence. Leave him to me ; he s a devilish
deep fellow, and deserves all respect." (Here he shook
Leander like a rat.) " You ve stolen a march on us, you
condemned little hair-dressing ape, you ! How did you
do it ? Out with it ! How the devil did you do it ? "
" For the love of heaven, gents," pleaded Leander,
without reflecting that he might have found a stronger
inducement, " don t use violence ! How did I do
what?"
"Count, I can t answer for myself," said the man
addressed as Braddle. " I shall send a bullet into him
if you don t let me work it off with fists ; I know I shall ! "
" Keep quiet," said his superior, sternly. " Don t you
see I m quiet?" and he twisted his knuckles viciously
into Leander s throat. " If you call out you re a corpse ! "
THE TINTED VENUS.
" I wasn t thinking of calling out, indeed I wasn t.
I m quite satisfied with being where I am," said Leander,
" if you d only leave me a little more room to choke in,
and tell me what I ve done to put you both in such
tremenjous tempers."
" Done ? You cur, when yer know well enough you ve
taken the bread out of our mouths the bread we d
earned ! D ye suppose we left out that statue in the
gardens for the like of you? Who put you up to it?
How many were there in it ? What do you mean to do
now you ve got it ? Speak out, or I swear I ll cut your
heart out, and throw it over the railings for the tom-cats ;
I will, you - - ! "
The man called Braddle, as he uttered this threat,
looked so very anxious to execute it, that Leander gave
himself up for lost.
" As true as I stand here, gentlemen, I didn t steal
that statue."
" I doubt you re not the build for taking the lead in
that sort of thing," said the Count ; " but you were in it.
You went down that Saturday as a blind. Deny it if you
dare."
Leander did not dare. " I could not help myself,
gentlemen," he faltered.
" Who said you could ? And you can t help yourself
now, either ; so make a clean breast of it. Who are you
standing in with ? Is it Potter s lot ? "
If Leander had declared himself to be alone, things
might have gone harder with him, and they certainly
would never have believed him; so he said it was
Potter s lot.
" I told you Potter was after that marble, and you
wouldn t have it, Count," growled Braddle. " Now
you re satisfied."
144
BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA.
The Count comprised Potter and his lot in a new and
original malediction by way of answer, and then said to
Leander, " Did Potter tell you to let that Venus stand
where all the world might see it ? "
" I had no discretion," said the hairdresser. " I m
not responsible, indeed, gents."
" No discretion ! I should think you hadn t. Nor
Potter either, acting the dog in the manger like this.
Where ll he find his market for it, eh ? What orders have
you got ? When are you going to get it across ? "
" I ve no notions. I haven t received no directions,"
said Leander.
" A nice sort o mug you are to be trusted with a job
like this," said Braddle. " I did think Potter was better
up in his work, I did. A pretty bungle he ll make of
it!"
" It would serve him right, for interfering with fellow-
professionals in this infernal unprincipled manner. But
he shan t have the chance, Braddle, he shan t have the
chance ; we ll steal a march on him this time."
" Is the coast clear yet ? " said Braddle.
" We must risk it. We shall find a route for it, never
fear," was the reply. " Now, you cursed hairdresser, you
listen to what I m going to tell you. That Venus is our
lawful property, and, by , we mean to get her into
our hands again. D ye hear that ? "
Leander heard, and with delight. So long as he
could once get free from the presence of the statue, and
out of the cross-fire of burglars and police, he was willing
by this time to abandon the cloak and ring.
" I can truly say, I hope you ll be successful, gents,"
he replied.
" We don t want your hopes, we want your help.
You must round on Potter."
145 K
THE TINTED VENUS.
"Must I, gents?" said Leander. "Well, to oblige
you, whatever it costs me, I will round on Potter."
" Take care you stick to that," said Braddle. " The
next pint, Count, is ow we re to get her."
" Come in and take her away now," said Leander,
eagerly. " She ll be quiet. I I mean the housed be
quiet now. You ll be very welcome, I assure you. /
won t interfere."
" You re a bright chap to go in for a purfession like
ours," said Mr. Braddle, with intense disgust. " How do
yer suppose we re to do it take her to pieces, eh, and
bring her along in our pockets ? Do you think we re
flats enough to run the chance of being seen in the
streets by a copper, lugging that ere statue along ? "
" We must have the light cart again, and a sack," said
the Count. " It s too late to-night."
" And it ain t safe in the daytime," said Braddie.
" We re wanted for that job at Camberwell, that puts it
on to-morrow evening. But suppose Potter has fixed the
same time."
" Here, you know. Has Potter fixed the same time ? "
the Count demanded from Leander.
"No," said Leander ; "Potter ain t said nothing to
me about moving her."
" Then are you man enough to undertake Potter, if
he starts the idea ? Are you ? Come ! "
" Yes, gents, I ll manage Potter. You break in any
time after midnight, and I engage you shall find the
Venus on the premises."
" But we want more than that of you, you know. We
mustn t lose any time over this job. You must be ready
at the door to let us in, and bear a hand with her down
to the cart."
But this did not suit Leander s views at all. He was
146
BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA.
determined to avoid all personal risks; and to be
caught helping the burglars to carry off the Aphrodite
would be fatal.
He was recovering his presence of mind. As his
tormentors had sensibly relaxed, he was able to take steps
for his own security.
" I beg pardon, gents," he said, " but I don t want to
appear in this myself. There s Potter, you see; he s a
hawful man to go against. You know what Potter is,
yourselves." (Potter was really coming in quite usefully,
he began to think.)
" Well, I don t suppose Potter would make more
bones about slitting your throat than we should, if he
knew you d played him false," said the Count. " But
we can t help that ; in a place like this it s too risky to
break in, when we can be let in."
" If you ll only excuse me taking an active part," said
Leander, " it s all I ask. This is my plan, gentlemen.
You see that little archway there, where my finger points ?
Well, that leads by a small alley to a yard, back of my
saloon. You can leave your cart here, and come round
as safe as you please. I ll have the winder in my saloon
unfastened, and put the statue where you can get her
easy ; but I don t want to be mixed up in it further than
that."
" That seems fair enough," said the Count, " provided
you keep to it."
" But suppose it s a plant ? " growled Braddle. " Sup
pose he s planning to lay a trap for us? Suppose
we get in, to find Potter and his lot on the look-out
for us, or break into a house that s full of bloomin
coppers ? "
" I did think of that ; but I believe our friend
knows that if he doesn t act square with me, his life isn t
H7
THE TINTED VENUS.
worth a bent pin ; and besides, he can t warn the police
without getting himself into more or less hot water. So
I think he ll see the wisdom of doing what he s
told."
" I do," said Leander, " I do, gentlemen. I d sooner
die than deceive you."
" Well," said the Count, " you d find it come to the
same thing."
" No," added Braddle. " If you blow the gaff on us,
my bloomin, I ll saw that pudden head of yours right off
your shoulders, and swing for it, cheerful ! "
Leander shuddered. Amongst what desperate ruffians
had his unlucky stars led him ! How would it all end, he
wondered feebly how ?
" Well, gentlemen," he said, with his teeth chattering,
" if you don t want me any more, I ll go in ; and I m to
expect you to-morrow evening, I believe ? "
" Expect us when you ear us," said Braddle ; " and
if you make fools of us again " And he described
consequences which exceeded in unpleasantness the
worst that Leander could have imagined.
The poor man tottered back to his room again, in a
most unenviable frame of mind ; not even the prospect
of being delivered from the goddess could reconcile him
to the price he must pay for it. He was going to take a
plunge into downright crime now ; and if his friend the
inspector came to hear of it, ruin must follow. And, in
any case, the cloak and the ring would be gone beyond
recovery, while these cut-throat housebreakers would
henceforth have a hold over him ; they might insist upon
steeping him in blacker crime still, and he knew he would
never have the courage to resist.
As he thought of the new difficulties and dangers
that compassed him round about, he was frequently on
148
BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA.
the verge of tears, and his couch that night was visited
by dreadful dreams, in which he sought audience of the
Evil One himself at cross-roads, was chased over half
London by police, and dragged over the other half by
burglars, to be finally flattened by the fall of Aphrodite.
149
AT LAST
AT LAST.
IX,
" Does not the stone rebuke me
For being more stone than it?"
Winter s Tale.
" Yet did he loath to see the image fair,
White and unchanged of face, unmoved of limb ! "
Earthly Paradise.
i>EANDER S hand was very tremulous all the next
day, as several indignant clients discovered, and he closed
as early as he could, feeling it impossible to attend to
business under the circumstances.
About seven o clock he went up to his sitting-room.
A difficult and ungrateful task was before him. To
facilitate her removal, he must persuade the goddess to
take up a position in the saloon for the night; and,
much as he had suffered from her, there was something
traitorous in delivering her over to these coarse burglars.
He waited until the statue showed signs of returning
animation, and then said, " Good evening, mum," more
obsequiously than usual.
She never deigned to notice or return his salutations.
" Hairdresser," she said abruptly, " I am weary of this
sordid place."
He was pleased, for it furthered his views. " It isn t
153
THE TINTED VENUS.
so sordid in the saloon, where you stood the other even
ing, you know," he replied. " Will you step down there ? "
" Bah ! " she said, "it is all sordid. Leander, a rest
lessness has come upon me. I come back night after
night out of the vagueness in which I have lain so long,
and for what ? To stand here in this mean chamber
and proffer my favour, only to find it repulsed, disdained.
I am tired of it tired ! "
" You can t be more tired of it than I am ! " he said.
" I ask myself," she went on, " why, having, through
your means, ascended once more to the earth, which I
left so fair, I seek not those things which once delighted
me. This city of yours all that I have seen of it
revolts me ; but it is vast, vaster than those built by the
mortals of old. Surely somewhere there must be bright
ness in it and beauty, and the colour and harmony by
which men knew once to delight the gods themselves. It
cannot be that the gods of old are all fo rgotten ; surely,
somewhere there yet lingers a little band of faithful ones,
who have not turned from Aphrodite."
" I can t say, I m sure," said Leander ; " I could
inquire for you."
" I myself will seek for them," she said proudly. " I
will go forth this very night."
Leander choked. " To-night ! " he cried. " You
car!t go to-night."
" You forget yourself," she returned haughtily.
" If I let you go," he said hesitatingly, " will you
promise faithfully to be back in half an hour ?"
" Do you not yet understand that you have to do
with a goddess with Aphrodite herself?" she said.
" Who are you, to presume to fetter me by your restric
tions? Truly, the indulgence I have shown has turned
your weak brain."
154
AT LAST.
He put his back against the door. He was afraid of
the goddess, but he was still more afraid of the burglars
vengeance if they arrived to find the prize missing.
" I m sorry to disoblige a lady," he said ; " but you
don t go out of this house to-night."
In another minute he was lying in the fender amongst
the fireirons alone ! How it was done he was too
stunned to remember; but the goddess was gone. If
she did not return by midnight, what would become of
him ? If he had only been civil to her, she might have
stayed; but now she had abandoned him to certain
destruction !
A kind of fatalistic stupor seized him. He would
not run away he would have to come home some time
nor would he call in the police, for he had a very
vivid recollection of Mr. Braddle s threat in such a
contingency.
He went, instead, into the dark saloon, and sat down
in a chair to wait. He wondered how he could explain
the statue s absence. If he told the burglars it had gone
for a stroll, they would tear him limb from limb. " I was
so confoundedly artful about Potter," he thought bitterly,
" that they ll never believe now I haven t warned him ! "
At every sound outside he shook like a leaf; the
quarters, as they sounded from the church clock, sank
like cold weights upon his heart. " If only Venus would
come back first ! " he moaned ; but the statue never
returned.
At last he heard steps muffled ones on the paved
alley outside. He had forgotten to leave the window
unfastened, after all, and he was too paralysed to do it
now.
The steps were in the little yard, or rather a sort of
back area, underneath the window. " It may be only a
155
THE TINTED VENUS.
constable," he tried to say to himself; but there is no
mistaking the constabulary tread, which is not fairy-like,
or even gentle, like that he heard.
A low whistle destroyed his last hope. In a quite
unpremeditated manner he put out the gas and rolled
under a leather divan which stood at the end of the room.
He wished now, with all his heart, that he had run away
while he had the chance ; but it was too late.
" I hope they ll do it with a revolver, and not a knife,"
he thought. " Oh, my poor Matilda ! you little know
what I m going through just now, and what ll be going
through me in another minute ! "
A hoarse voice under the window called out,
" Tweddle ! "
He lay still. " None o that, yer skulker ; I know
yer there ! " said the voice again. " Do yer want to give
me the job o coming after yer ? "
After all, Leander reflected, there was the window
and a thick half-shutter between them. It might be best
not to provoke Mr. Braddle at the outset. He came half
out of his hiding-place. " Is that you, Mr. Braddle ? "
he quavered.
" Ah ! " said the voice, affirmatively. " Is this what
you call being ready for us ? Why, the bloomin winder
ain t even undone ! "
" That s what I m here for," said poor Leander. " Is
the the other gentleman out there too ? "
" You mind your business ! You ll find something
the Count give me to bring yer ; I ve put it on the
winder-sill out ere. And you obey borders next time,
will yer ? "
The footsteps were heard retreating. Mr. Braddle
was apparently going back to fetch his captain. Leander
let down the shutter, and opened the window. He could
AT LAST.
not see, but he could feel a thick, rough bundle lying
on the window-sill.
He drew this in, slammed down the window, and
ran up the shutter in a second, before the two could have
had time to discover him.
" Now," he thought, " I zc////run for it ; " and he groped
his way out of the dark saloon to the front shop, where
he paused, and, taking a match from his pocket, struck a
light. His parcel proved to be rough sackcloth, on the
outside of which a paper was pinned.
Why did the Count write, when he was coming in
directly ? Curiosity made him linger even then to
ascertain this. The paper contained a hasty scrawl in
blue chalk. " Not to-night" he read ; " arrangements
still ^incomplete. Expect us to-morrow night without fail,
and see that everything is prepared. Cloth sent with this
for packing goods. P laid up with professional acci
dent, and safe for a week or two. You must have known
f/ii s w hy not say so last night ? No trifling, if you value
life!-
It was a reprieve at the last moment ! He had a
whole day before him for flight, and he fully intended to
flee this time ; those hours of suspense in the saloon were
too terrible to be gone through twice.
But as he was turning out his cashbox, and about to
go upstairs and collect a few necessaries, he heard a well-
known tread outside. He ran to the door, which he
unfastened with trembling hands, and the statue, with
the hood drawn closely round her strange painted face,
passed in without seeming to heed his presence.
She had come back to him. Why should he run away
now, when, if he waited one more night, he might be
rescued from one of his terrors by means of the
other ?
157
THE TINTED VENUS.
" Lady Venus ! " he cried hysterically. " Oh, Lady
Venus, mum, I thought you was gone for ever ! "
" And you have grieved ? " she said almost tenderly.
"You welcome my return with joy! Know then,
Leander, that I myself feel pleasure in returning, even to
such a roof as this ; for little gladness have I had from
my wanderings. Upon no altar did I see my name shine,
nor the perfumed flame flicker; the Lydian measures
were silent, and the praise of Cytherea. And everywhere
I went I found the same senseless troubled haste, and
pale mean faces of men, and squalor, and tumult. Grace
and joyousness have fled even from your revelry ! But
I have seen your new gods, and understand: for, all
grimy and mis-shapen and uncouth are they as they stand
in your open places and at the corners of your streets.
Zeus, what a place must Olympus now be ! And can any
men worship such monsters, and be gladsome ? "
Leander did not perceive the very natural mistake
into which the goddess had fallen ; but the fact was, that
she had come upon some of our justly renowned public
statues.
" I m sorry you haven t enjoyed yourself, mum," was
all he could find to say.
" Should I linger in such scenes were it not for you ? "
she cried reproachfully. " How much longer will you
repulse me ? "
" That depends on you, mum," he ventured to
observe.
" Ah ! you are cold ! " she said reproachfully ; " yet
surely I am worthy of the adoration of the proudest
mortal. Judge me not by this marble exterior, cunningly
wrought though it be. Charms are mine, more dazzling
than any your imagination can picture ; and could you
surrender your being to my hands, I should be able to
158
AT LAST.
show myself as I really am supreme in loveliness and
majesty ! "
Unfortunately, the hairdresser s imagination was not
his strongest point. He could not dissociate the goddess
from the marble shape she had assumed, and that shape
he was not sufficiently educated to admire; he merely
coughed now in a deferential manner.
" I perceive that I cannot move you," she said. " Men
have grown strangely stubborn and impervious. I leave
you, then, to your obstinacy; only take heed lest you
provoke me at last to wrath, for my patience is well-nigh
at an end ! "
And she was gone, and the bedizened statue stood
there, staring hardly at him with the eyes his own hand
had given her.
"This has been the most trying evening I ve had
yet," he thought. " Thank my stars, if all goes well, I
shall get rid of her by this time to-morrow ! "
The next day passed uneventfully enough, though the
unfortunate Leander s apprehensions increased with every
hour. As before, he closed early, got his apprentice safely
off the premises, and sat down to wait in his saloon. He
knew that the statue (which he had concealed during the
day behind a convenient curtain) would probably recover
consciousness for some part of the evening, as it had
rarely failed to do, and prudence urged him to keep an
eye over the proceedings of his tormentress.
To his horror, Aphrodite s first words, after awaking,
expressed her intention of repeating the search for homage
and beauty, which had been so unsuccessful the night
before !
" Seek not to detain me, Leander," she said ; " for,
goddess as I am, I am drooping under this persistent
obduracy. Somewhere beyond this murky labyrinth, it
159
THE TINTED VENUS.
may be that I shall find a shrine where I am yet
honoured. I will go forth, and never rest till I have
found it, and my troubled spirits are revived by the
incense for which I have languished so long. I am
weary of abasing myself to such a contemptuous mortal,
nor will I longer endure such indignity. Stand back, and
open the gates for me ! Why do you not obey ? "
He knew now that to attempt force would be useless ;
and yet if she left him this time, he must either abandon
all that life held for him, and fly to distant parts from the
burglars vengeance or remain to meet a too probable
doom !
He fell on his knees before her. " Oh, Lady Venus,"
he entreated, " don t leave me ! I beg and implore you
not to ! If you do, you will kill me ! I give you my
honest word you will ! "
The statue s face seemed irradiated by a sudden joy.
She paused, and glanced down with an approving smile
upon the kneeling figure at her feet.
" Why did you not kneel to me before ? " she
said.
" Because I never thought of it," said the hairdresser,
honestly ; " but I ll stay on my knees for hours, if only
you won t go ! "
" But what has made you thus eager, thus humble ? "
she said, half in wonder and half in suspicion. " Can
it be, that the spark I have sought to kindle in your
breast is growing to a flame at last ? Leander, can this
thing be ? "
He saw that she was gratified, that she desired to be
assured that this was indeed so.
" I shouldn t be surprised if something like that was
going on inside of me," he said encouragingly.
" Answer me more frankly," she said. " Do you wish
1 60
"WHY DID YOU NOT KNEEL TO ME BEFORE?"
{.Page 1 60.
AT LAST.
me to remain with you because you have learnt to love
my presence ? "
It was a very embarrassing position for him. All
depended upon his convincing the goddess of his dawning
love, and yet, for the life of him, he could not force out
the requisite tenderness ; his imagination was unequal to
the task.
Another and a more creditable feeling helped to tie
his tongue a sense of shame at employing such a
subterfuge in order to betray the goddess into the
lawless hands of these housebreakers. However, she
must be induced to stay by some means.
"Well," he said sheepishly, "you don t give me a
chance to love you, if you go wandering out every
evening, do you ? "
She gave a low cry of triumph. "It has come!"
she exclaimed. "What are clouds of incense, flowers,
and homage, to this? Be of good heart; I will stay,
Leander. Fear not, but speak the passion which
consumes you ! "
He became alarmed. He was anxious not to commit
himself, and yet employ the time until the burglars might
be expected.
" The fact is," he confessed, " it hasn t gone so far as
that yet it s beginning ; all it wants is time, you know
time, and being let alone."
" All Time will be before us, when once your lips
have pronounced the words of surrender, and our spirits
are transported together to the enchanted isle."
"You talk about me going over to this isle this
Cyprus," he said ; " but it s a long journey, and I can t
afford it. How you come and go, I don t know ; but I ve
not been brought up to it myself. I can t flash across
like a telegram ! "
163 L
THE TINTED VENUS.
" Trust all to me," she said. " Is not your love strong
enough for that ? "
"Not quite yet," he answered; "it s coming on.
Only, you see, it s a serious step to take, and I naturally
wish to feel my way. I declare, the more I gaze upon
the the elegant form and figger which I see before me,
the stronger and the more irresistible comes over me a
burning desire to think the whole thing carefully over.
And if you only allowed me a little longer to gaze (I ve
no time to myself except in the evenings), I don t think
it would be long before this affair reached a appy
termination I don t indeed ! "
" Gaze, then," she said, smiling " gaze to your soul s
content."
" I mean no offence," he represented, having felt his
way to a stroke of supreme cunning, " but when I feel
there s a goddess inside of this statue, I don t know how
it is exactly, but it puts me off. I can t fix my thoughts ;
the the passion don t ferment as it ought. If, supposing
now, you was to withdraw yourself and leave me the
statue ? I could gaze on it, and think of thee, and
Cyprus, and all the rest of it, more comfortable, so to
speak, than what I can when you re animating of it, and
making me that nervous, words can t describe it ! "
He hardly dared to hope that so lame and transparent
a device would succeed with her; but, as he had
previously found, there was a certain spice of credulity
and simplicity in her nature, which made it possible to
impose upon her occasionally.
" It may be so," she said. " I overawe thee, per
chance ? "
" Very much so," said he, promptly. " You don t
intend it, I know ; but it s a fact."
" I will leave you to meditate upon the charms so
164
AT LAST.
faintly shadowed in this image, remembering that what
ever of loveliness you find herein will be multiplied ten
thousand-fold in the actual Aphrodite ! Remain, then ;
ponder and gaze and love ! "
He waited for a little while after the statue was silent,
and then took up the sacking left for him by Braddle ;
twice he attempted to throw it over the marble, and
twice he recoiled. " It s no use," he said, " I can t do it ;
they must do it themselves ! "
He carefully unfastened the window at the back of
his saloon, and, placing the statue in the centre of the
floor, turned out the gas, and with a beating heart stole
upstairs to his bedroom, where (with his door bolted)
he waited anxiously for the arrival of his dreaded
deliverers.
He scarcely knew how long he had been there, for a
kind of waking dream had come upon him, in which he
was providing the statue with light refreshment in the
shape of fancy pebbles and liquid cement, when the long,
low whistle, faintly heard from the back of the house,
brought him back to his full senses.
The burglars had come ! He unbolted the door and
stole out to the top of the crazy staircase, intending to
rush back and bolt himself in if he heard steps ascending ;
and for some minutes he strained his ears, without being
able to catch a sound.
At last he heard the muffled creak of the window, as
it was thrown up. They were coming in ! Would they,
or would they not, be inhuman enough to force him to
assist them in the removal ?
They were still in the saloon ; he heard them tramp
ling about, moving the furniture with unnecessary
violence, and addressing one another in tones that were
not caressing. Now they were carrying the statue to the
THE TINTED VENUS.
window ; he heard their labouring breath and groans of
exertion under the burden.
Another pause. He stole lower down the staircase,
until he was outside his sitting-room, and could hear
better. There ! that was the thud as they leapt out on
the flagged yard. A second and heavier thud the
goddess ! How would they get her over the wall ? Had
they brought steps, ropes, or what ? No matter ; they
knew their own business, and were not likely to have
forgotten anything. But how long they were about it !
Suppose a constable were to come by and see the cart !
There were sounds at last ; they were scaling the
wall floundering, apparently ; and no wonder, with such
a weight to hoist after them ! More thuds ; and then the
steps of men staggering slowly, painfully away. The
steps echoed louder from under the archway, and then
died away in silence.
Could they be really gone ? He dared not hope so,
and remained shivering in his sitting-room for some
minutes ; until, gaining courage, he determined to go
down and shut the window, to avoid any suspicion.
Although now that the burglars were safely off with their
prize, even their capture could not implicate him. He
rather hoped they would be caught !
He took a lighted candle, and descended. As he
entered the saloon, a gust from the open window blew
out the light. He stood there in the dark and an icy
draught ; and, beginning to grope about in the dark for
the matches, he brushed against something which was
soft and had a cloth-like texture. " It s Braddle ! " he
thought, and his blood ran cold ; " or else the Count ! "
And he called them both respectfully. There was no
reply ; no sound of breathing, even.
Ha ! here was a box of matches at last ! He struck
1 66
AT LAST.
a light in feverish haste, and lit the nearest gas-bracket.
For an instant he could see nothing, in the sudden glare ;
but the next moment he fell back against the wall with a
cry of horror and despair.
For there, in the centre of the disordered room, stood
not the Count, not Braddle but the statue, the
mantle thrown back from her arms, and those arms, and
the folds of the marble drapery, spotted here and there
with stains of dark crimson !
167
DAMOCLES DINES OUT
DAMOCLES DINES OUT.
X.
To feed were best at home." Macleth.
As
soon as Leander had recovered from the first shock
of horror and disappointment, he set himself to efface
the stains with which the statue and the oilcloth were
liberally bespattered ; he was burning to find out what
had happened to make such desperadoes abandon their
design at the point of completion.
They both seemed to have bled freely. Had they
quarrelled, or what? He went out into the yard with
a hand-lamp, trembling lest he should come upon one or
more corpses ; but the place was bare, and he then
remembered having heard them stumble and flounder
over the wall.
He came back in utter bewilderment ; the statue,
standing calm and lifeless as he had himself placed it,
could tell him nothing, and he went back to his bedroom
full of the vaguest fears.
The next day was a Saturday, and he passed it in the
state of continual apprehension which was becoming his
normal condition. He expected every moment to see or
hear from the baffled ruffians, who would, no doubt, con
sider him responsible for their failure ; but no word nor
sign came from them, and the uncertainty drove him
very near distraction.
171
THE TINTED VENUS.
As the night approached, he almost welcomed it, as a
time when the goddess herself would enlighten part of
his ignorance ; and he waited more impatiently than ever
for her return.
He was made to wait long that evening, until he
almost began to think that the marble was deserted
altogether ; but at length, as he watched, the statue gave
a long, shuddering sigh, and seemed to gaze round the
saloon with vacant eyes.
" Where am I ? " she murmured. " Ah ! I remember.
Leander, while you slumbered, impious hands were laid
upon this image ! "
" Dear me, mum ; you don t say so ! " exclaimed
Leander.
" It is the truth ! From afar I felt the indignity that
was purposed, and hastened to protect my image, to find
it in the coarse grasp of godless outlaws. Leander, they
were about to drag me away by force away from thee ! "
" I m very sorry you should have been disturbed,"
said Leander ; and he certainly was. " So you came
back and caught them at it, did you ? And wh what
did you do to em, if I may inquire ? "
" I know not," she said simply. " I caused them to
be filled with mad fury, and they fell upon one another
blindly, and fought like wild beasts around my image
until strength failed them, and they sank to the ground ;
and when they were able, they fled from my presence,
and I saw them no more."
" You you didn t kill them outright, then ? " said
Leander, not feeling quite sure whether he would be glad
or not to hear that they had forfeited their lives.
" They were unworthy of such a death," she said ;
"so I "let them crawl away. Henceforth they will respect
our images."
172
DAMOCLES DINES OUT.
" I should say they would, most likely, madam,"
agreed Leander. " I do assure you, I m almost glad of
it myself I am ; it served them both right."
"Almost glad! And do you not rejoice from your
heart that I yet remain to you ? "
" Why," said Leander, " it is, in course, a most
satisfactory and agreeable termination, I m sure."
" Who knows whether, if this my image had once
been removed from you, I could have found it in my
power to return ? " she said ; " for, I ween, the power
that is left me has limits. I might never have appeared
to you again. Think of it, Leander."
" I was thinking of it," he replied. " It quite upsets
me to think how near it was."
" You are moved. You love me well, do you not,
Leander ? "
" Oh ! I suppose I do," he said " well enough."
"Well enough to abandon this gross existence, and
fly with me where none can separate us ? "
" I never said nothing about that," he answered.
" But yesternight and you confessed that you were
yielding that ere long I should prevail."
" So I am," he said ; " but it will take me some time
to yield thoroughly. You wouldn t believe how slow I
yield ; why, I haven t hardly begun yet ! "
" And how long a time will pass before you are fully
prepared ? "
" I m afraid I can t say, not exactly \ it may be a
month, or it might only be a week, or again, it may be
a year. I m so dependent upon the weather. So, if
you re in any kind of a hurry, I couldn t advise you, as
a honest man, to wait for me."
" I will not wait a year ! " she said fiercely. " You
mock me with such words. I tell you again that my
173
THE TINTED VENUS.
forbearance will last but little longer. More of this
laggard love, and I will shame you before your fellow-
men as an ingrate and a dastard ! I will ; by my zone,
I will ! "
" Now, mum, you re allowing yourself to get excited,"
said Leander, soothingly. " I wouldn t talk about it no
more this evening ; we shall do no good. I can t arrange
to go with you just yet, and there s an end of it."
" You will find that that is not the end of it, clod-
witted slave that you are ! "
" Now, don t call names ; it s beneath you."
" Ay, indeed ! for are not you beneath me ? But
for very shame I will not abandon what is justly mine ;
nor shall you, wily and persuasive hairdresser though you
be, withstand my sovereign will with impunity ! "
" So you say, mum ! " said Leander, with a touch of
his native impertinence.
" As I say, I shall act ; but no more of this, or you
will anger me before the time. Let me depart."
" I m not hindering you," he said ; but she did not
remain long enough to resent his words. He sat down
with a groan. " Whatever will become of me ? " he
soliloquized dismally. " She gets more pressing every
evening, and she s been taking to threatening dreadful
of late. ... If the Count and that Braddle ever come
back now, it won t be to take her off my hands ; it ll
more likely be to have my life for letting them into such
a trap. They ll think it was some trick of mine, I
shouldn t wonder. . . . And to-morrow s Sunday, and
I ve got to dine with aunt, and meet Matilda and her
ma. A pretty state of mind I m in for going out to
dinner, after the awful week I ve had of it ! But there ll
be some comfort in seeing my darling Tillie again ; she
ain t a statue, bless her ! "
174
DAMOCLES DINES OUT.
" As for you, mum," he said to the unconscious statue,
" I m going to lock you up in your old quarters, where
you can t get out and do mischief. I do think I m entitled
to have my Sunday quiet."
After which he contrived to toil upstairs with the
image, not without considerable labour and frequent halts
to recover his breath ; for although, as we have already
noted, the marble, after being infused with life, seemed
to lose something of its normal weight, it was no light
burden, even then, to be undertaken single-handed.
He slept long and late that Sunday morning ; for he
had been too preoccupied for the last few days to make
any arrangements for attending chapel with his Matilda,
and he was in sore need of repose besides. So he rose
just in time to swallow his coffee and array himself care
fully for his aunt s early dinner, leaving his two Sunday
papers the theatrical and the general organs unread
on his table.
It was a foggy, dull day, and Millman Street, never
a cheerful thoroughfare, looked gloomier than ever as he
turned into it. But one of those dingy fronts held
Matilda a circumstance which irradiated the entire
district for him.
He had scarcely time to knock before the door was
opened by Matilda in person. She looked more charming
than ever, in a neat dark dress, with a little white collar
and cuffs. Her hair was arranged in a new fashion, being
banded by a neat braided tress across the crown ; and
her grey eyes, usually serene and cold, were bright and
eager.
The hairdresser felt his heart swell with love at the
sight of her. What a lucky man he was, after all, to have
such a girl as this to care for him ! If he could keep her
ah, if he could only keep her !
THE TINTED VENUS.
" I told your aunt / was going to open the door to
you," she said. " I wanted Oh, Lcander, you ve
not brought it, after all ! "
" Meaning what, Tillie, my darling ? " said Leander.
" Oh, you know my cloak ! "
He had had so much to think about that he had really
forgotten the cloak of late.
"Well, no, I ve not brought that not the cloak,
Tillie," he said slowly.
" What a time they are about it ! " complained
Matilda.
" You see," explained the poor man, " when a cloak
like that is damaged, it has to be sent back to the manu
facturers to be done, and they ve so many things on their
hands. I couldn t promise that you ll have that cloak
well, not this side of Christmas, at least."
"You must have been very rough with it, then,
Leander," she remarked.
" I was," he said. " I don t know how I came to be
so rough. You see, it was trying to tear it off But
here he stopped.
" Trying to tear it off what?"
" Trying to tear it off nothink, but trying to tear the
wrapper off it. It was so involved," he added, " with
string and paper and that ; and I m a clumsy, unlucky
sort of chap, sweet one ; and I m uncommon sorry about
it, that I am ! "
" Well, we won t say any more about it," said Matilda,
softened by his contrition. " And I m keeping you out
in the passage all this time. Come in, and be introduced
to mamma ; she s in the front parlour, waiting to make
your acquaintance."
Mrs. Collum was a stout lady, with a thin voice. She
struck a nameless fear into Leander s soul as he was led
176
SHE STRUCK A NAMELESS FEAR INTO LEANDER S SOUL.
[Page 176.
DAMOCLES DINES OUT.
up to where she sat. He thought that she contained all
the promise of a very terrible mother-in-law.
" This is Leander, mamma dear," said Matilda, shyly
and yet proudly.
Her mother inspected him for a moment, and then
half closed her eyes. " My daughter tells me that you
carry on the occupation of a hairdresser," she said.
" Quite correct, madam," said Leander; " I do."
" Ah ! well," she said, with an unconcealed sigh, " I
could have wished to look higher than hairdressing for
my Matilda ; but there are opportunities of doing good
even as a hairdresser. I trust you are sensible of
that."
" I try to do as little arm as I can," he said feebly.
" If you do not do good, you must do harm," she
said uncompromisingly. " You have it in your means
to be an awakening influence. No one knows the power
that a single serious hairdresser might effect with worldly
customers. Have you never thought of that ? "
" Well, I can t say I have exactly," he said ; " and I
don t see how."
" There are cheap and appropriate illuminated texts,"
she said, " to be had at so much a dozen ; you could
hang them on your walls. There are tracts you procure
by the hundred; you could put them in the lining of
hats as you hang them up ; you could wrap them round
your your bottles and pomatum-pots. You could drop
a word in season in your customer s ear as you bent over
him. And you tell me you don t see how ; you will not
see, I fear, Mr. Tweddle."
" I m afraid, mum," he replied, " my customers would
consider I was taking liberties."
" And what of that, so long as you save them ? "
" Well, you see, I shouldn t I should lose em ! And
THE TINTED VENUS.
it s not done in our profession ; and, to tell you the
honest truth, I m not given that way myself not to the
extent of tracks and suchlike, that is."
Matilda s mother groaned ; it was hard to find a son-
in-law with whom she had nothing in common, and who
was a hairdresser into the bargain.
" Well, well," she said, " we must expect crosses in
this life ; though for my own daughter to lay this one
upon me is is But I will not repine."
" I m sorry you regard me in the light of a cross,"
said Leander ; " but, whether I m a cross or a naught,
I m a respectable man, and I love your daughter, mum,
and I m in a position to maintain her."
Leander hated to have to appear under false pretences,
of which he had had more than enough of late. He was
glad now to speak out plainly, particularly as he had no
reason to fear this old woman.
" Hush, Leander ! Mamma didn t mean to be un
kind ; " did you, mamma ? " said Matilda.
" I said what I felt," she said. " We will not discuss
it further. If, in time, I see reason for bestowing my
blessing upon a choice which at present But no
matter. If I see reason in time, I will not withhold it.
I can hardly be expected to approve at present."
"You shall take your own time, mum; /won t hurry
you," said Leander. "Tillie is blessing enough for
me not but what I shall be glad to be on a pleasant
footing with you, I m sure, if you can bring yourself
to it."
Before Mrs. Collum could reply, Miss Louisa Tweddle
made an opportune appearance, to the relief of Matilda,
in whom her mother s attitude was causing some un
easiness.
Miss Tweddle was a well-preserved little woman, with
180
DAMOCLES DINES OUT.
short curly iron-grey hair and sharp features. In manner
she was brisk, not to say chirpy, but she secreted senti
ment in large quantities. She was very far from the
traditional landlady, and where she lost lodgers occasion
ally she retained friends. She regarded Mrs. Collum
with something like reverence, as an acquaintance of her
youth who had always occupied a superior social position,
and she was proud, though somewhat guiltily so, that her
favourite nephew should have succeeded in captivating
the daughter of a dentist.
She kissed Leander on both cheeks. "He s done
the best of all my nephews, Mrs. Collum, ma am," she
explained, " and he s never caused me a moment s
anxiety since I first had the care of him, when he was
first apprenticed to Catchpole s in Holborn, and paid me
for his board."
"Well, well," said Mrs. Collum, "I hope he never
may cause anxiety to you, or to any one."
" I ll answer for it, he won t," said his aunt. " I wish
you could see him dress a head of hair."
Mrs. Collum shut her eyes again. " If at his age he
has not acquired the necessary skill for his line in life,"
she observed, " it would be a very melancholy thing to
reflect upon."
" Yes, wouldn t it ? " agreed Miss Tweddle ; " you
say very truly, Mrs. Collum. But he s got ideas and
notions beyond what you d expect in a hairdresser
haven t you, Leandy? Tell Miss Collum s dear ma
about the new machines you ve invented for altering
people s hands and eyes and features."
" I don t care to be told," the lady struck in. " To
my mind, it s nothing less than sheer impiety to go im
proving the features we ve been endowed with. We
ought to be content as we are, and be thankful we ve
181 M
THE TINTED VENUS.
been sent into the world with any features at all. Those
are my opinions ! "
"Ah," said the politic Leander, "but some people
are saved having resort to Art for improvement, and we
oughtn t to blame them as are less favoured for trying to
render themselves more agreeable as spectacles, ought we?"
" And if every one thought with you," added his aunt,
with distinctly inferior tact, " where would your poor
dear usband have been, Mrs. Collum, ma am ? "
" My dear husband was not on the same level he
was a medical man; and, besides, though he replaced
Nature in one of her departments, he had too much
principle to imitate her. Had he been (or had I allowed
him to be) less conscientious, his practice would have
been largely extended; but I can ..truthfully declare that
not a single one of his false teeth was capable of deceiving
for an instant. I hope," she added to Leander, " you, in
your own different way, are as scrupulous."
" Why, the fact is," said Leander, whose professional
susceptibilities were now aroused, "I am essentially an
artist. When I look around, I see that Nature out of its
bounty has supplied me with a choice selection of patterns
to follow, and I reproduce them as faithful as lies within
my abilities. You may call it a fine thing to take a
blank canvas, and represent the luxurious tresses and the
blooming hue of ealth upon it, and so do I ; but I call it
a still higher and nobler act to produce a similar effect
upon a human ed ! "
" Isn t that a pretty speech for a young man like him
only twenty-seven Mrs. Collum?" exclaimed his
admiring aunt.
" You see, mamma dear," pleaded Matilda, who saw
that her parent remained unaffected, "it isn t as if Leander
was in poor papa s profession."
182
DAMOCLES DINES OUT.
" I hope, Matilda," said the lady sharply, "you are
not going to pain me again by mentioning this young
man and your departed father in the same breath,
because I .cannot bear it."
"The old lady," reflected Leander here, "don t
seem to take to me ! "
" I m sure," said Miss Tweddle, " Leandy quite feels
what an honour it is to him to look forward to such a
connection as yours is. When I first heard of it, I said
at once, Leandy, you can t never mean it ; she won t
look at you ; it s no use your asking her, I said. And
I quite scolded myself for ever bringing them together ! "
Mrs. Collum seemed inclined to follow suit, but she
restrained herself. " Ah ! well," she observed, " my
daughter has chosen to take her own way, without
consulting my prejudices. All I hope is, that she may
never repent it ! "
" Very handsomely said, ma am," chimed in Miss
Tweddle ; " and, if I know my nephew, repent it she
never will ! "
Leander was looking rather miserable; but Matilda
put out her hand to him behind his aunt s back, and
their eyes and hands met, and he was happy again.
" You must be wanting your dinner, Mrs. Collum,"
his aunt proceeded ; " and we are only waiting for
another lady and gentleman to make up the party. I
don t know what s made them so behindhand, I m sure.
He s a very pleasant young man, and punctual to the
second when he lodged with me. I happened to run
across him up by Chancery Lane the other evening, and
he said to me, in his funny way, I ve been and gone
and done it, Miss Tweddle, since I saw you. I m a
happy man ; and I m thinking of bringing my young lady
soon to introduce to you. So I asked them to come
183
THE TINTED VENUS.
and take a bit of dinner with me to-day, and I told him
two o clock sharp, I m sure. Ah, there they are at last !
That s Mr. Jauncy s knock, among a thousand."
Leander started. " Aunt ! " he cried, " you haven t
asked Jauncy here to-day ? "
" Yes, I did, Leandy. I knew you used to be friends
when you were together here, and I thought how nice it
would be for both your young ladies to make each other s
acquaintance ; but I didn t tell him anything. I meant
it for a surprise."
And she bustled out to receive her guests, leaving
Leander speechless. What if the new-comers were to
make some incautious reference to that pleasure-party on
Saturday week ? Could he drop them a warning hint ?
" Don t you like this Mr. Jauncy, Leander?" whispered
Matilda, who had observed his ghastly expression.
" I like him well enough," he returned, with an effort ;
" but I d rather we had no third parties, I must say."
Here Mr. Jauncy came in alone, Miss Tweddle
having retired to assist the lady to take off her bonnet.
Leander went to meet him. " James," he said in an
agitated whisper, "have you brought Bella?"
Jauncy nodded. "We were talking of you as we
came along," he said in the same tone, " and I advise
you to look out she s got her quills up, old chap ! "
" What about ? " murmured Leander.
Mr. Jauncy s grin was wider and more appreciative
than ever as he replied, mysteriously, " Rosherwich ! "
Leander would have liked to ask in what respect
Miss Parkinson considered herself injured by the expedi
tion to Rosherwich ; but, before he could do so, his aunt
returned with the young lady in question.
Bell was gorgeously dressed, and made her entrance
with the stiffest possible dignity. " Miss Parkinson, my
184
DAMOCLES DINES OUT.
dear," said her hostess, " you mustn t be made a stranger
of. Trjat lady sitting there on the sofa is Mrs. Collum,
and this gentleman is a friend of your gentleman s, and
my nephew, Leandy."
" Oh, thank you," said Bella, " but I ve no occasion
to be told Mr. Tweddle s name ; we have met before
haven t we, Mr. Tweddle ? "
He looked at her, and saw her brows clouded, and
her nose and mouth with a pinched look about them.
She was annoyed with him evidently but why ?
" We have," was all he could reply.
" Why, how nice that is, to be sure ! " exclaimed his
aunt. " I might have thought of it, too, Mr. Jauncy,
and you being such friends and all. And p r aps you
know this lady, too Miss Collum as Leandy is keeping
company along with ? "
Bella s expression changed to something blacker still.
" No," she said, fixing her eyes on the still unconscious
Leander ; " I made sure that Mr. Tweddle was courting
a young lady, but but well, this is a surprise, Mr.
Tweddle ! You never told us of this when last we met.
I shall have news for somebody ! "
" Oh, but it s only been arranged within the last
month or two ! " said Miss Tweddle.
" Considering we met so lately, he might have done
us the compliment of mentioning it, I must say ! " said
Bella.
" I I thought you knew," stammered the hairdresser ;
"I told "
" No, you didn t, excuse me ; oh no, you didn t, or
some things would have happened differently. It was
the place and all that made you forget it, very likely."
" When did you meet one another, and where was it,
Miss Parkinson ? " inquired Matilda, rather to include
185
THE TINTED VENUS.
herself in the conversation than from any devouring
curiosity.
Leander struck in hoarsely. " We met," he explained,
" some time since, quite casual."
Bella s eyes lit up with triumphant malice. " What ! "
she said, " do you call yesterday week such a long while ?
What a compliment that is, though ! And so he s not
even mentioned it to you, Miss Collum? Dear me, I
wonder what reasons he had for that, now ! "
" There s nothing to wonder at," said Leander ; " my
memory does play me tricks of that sort."
" Ah, if it was only you it played tricks on ! There s
Miss Collum dying to know what it s all about, I can see."
" Indeed, Miss Parkinson, I m nothing of the sort,"
retorted Matilda, proudly. Privately her reflection was :
" She s got a lovely gown on, but she s a common girl,
for all that ; and she s trying to set me against Leander
for some reason, and she shan t do it."
" Well," said Bella, " you re a fortunate man, Mr.
Tweddle, that you are, in every way. I m afraid I
shouldn t be so easy with my James."
" There s no need for being afraid about it," her James
put in ; " you aren t ! "
" I hope you haven t as much cause, though," she
retorted.
Leander listened to her malicious innuendo with a
bewildered agony. Why on earth was she making this
dead set at him ? She was amiable enough on Saturday
week. It never occurred to him that his conduct to her
sister could account for it, for had he not told Ada
straightforwardly how he was situated ?
Fortunately dinner was announced to be ready just
then, and Bella was silenced for the moment in the
general movement to the next room.
186
DAMOCLES DINES OUT.
Leander took in Matilda s mamma, who had been
studiously abstracting herself from all surrounding objects
for the last few minutes. "That Bella is a downright
basilisk," he thought dismally, as he led the way.
" Lord, how I do wish dinner was done ! "
DENOUNCED
DENOUNCED.
XI.
" There s a new foot on the floor, my friend ;
And a new face at the door, my friend ;
A new face at the door."
LEANDER sat at the head of the table as carver,
having Mrs. Collum and Bella on his left, and James and
Matilda opposite to them.
James was the first to open conversation, by the
remark to Mrs. Collum, across the table, that they were
" having another dull Sunday."
" That," rejoined the uncompromising lady, "seems to
me a highly improper remark, sir."
" My friend Jauncy," explained Leander, in defence
of his abashed companion, " was not alluding to present
company, I m sure. He meant the dulness outside the
fog, and so on."
" I knew it," she said ; " and I repeat that it is
improper and irreverent to speak of a dull Sunday in
that tone of complaint. Haven t we all the week to be
lively in ? "
"And I m sure, ma am," said Jauncy, recovering
himself, " you make the most of your time. Talking of
fog, Tweddle, did you see those lines on it in to-day s
Umpire ? Very smart, I call them ; regular witty."
" And do you both read a paper on Sunday mornings
191
THE TINTED VENUS.
with smart and * witty lines in it ? " demanded Mrs.
Collum.
" I I hadn t time this morning," said the unregenerate
Leander ; " but I do occasionally cast a eye over it before
I get up."
Mrs. Collum groaned, and looked at her daughter
reproachfully.
" I see by the Weekly News" said Jauncy, " you ve
had a burglary in your neighbourhood."
Leander let the carving-knife slip. " A burglary !
What ! in my neighbourhood ? When ? "
" Well, p r aps not a burglary ; but a capture of two
that were wanted for it. It s all in to-day s News"
" I I haven t seen a paper for the last two days,"
said Leander, his heart beating with hope. " Tell us
about it ! "
"Why, it isn t much to tell; but it seems that last
Friday night, or early on Saturday morning, the constable
on duty came upon two suspicious-looking chaps, propped
up insensible against the railings in Queen Square,
covered with blood, and unable to account for them
selves. Whether they d been trying to break in some
where and been beaten off, or had quarrelled, or met with
some accident, doesn t seem to be known for certain.
But, anyway, they were arrested for loitering at night
with housebreaking things about them ; and, when they
were got to the station, recognized as the men wanted
for shooting a policeman down at Camber well some time
back, and if it is proved against them they ll be hung,
for certain."
"What were they called? Did it say?" asked
Leander, eagerly.
" I forget one something like Bradawl, I believe ;
the other had a lot of aliases, but he was best known as
192
DENOUNCED.
the * Count, from having lived a good deal abroad, and
speaking broken English like a native."
Leander s spirits rose, in s"pite of his present anxieties.
He had been going in fear and dread of the revenge of
these ruffians, and they were safely locked up ; they
could trouble him no more. Small wonder, then, that
his security in this respect made him better able to cope
with minor dangers ; and Bella s animosity seemed lulled,
too at least, she had not opened her mouth, except for
food, since she sat down.
In his expansion, he gave himself the airs of a host.
" I hope," he said, " I ve served you all to your likings ?
Miss Parkinson, you re not getting on ; allow me to offer
you a little more pork."
"Thank you, Mr. Tweddle," said the implacable
Bella, " but I won t trouble you. I haven t an appetite
to-day like I had at those gardens."
There was a challenge in this answer not only to
him, but to general curiosity which, to her evident dis
appointment, was not taken up.
Leander turned to Jauncy. " I I suppose you had
no trouble in finding your way here ? " he said.
" No," said Jauncy, " not more than usual ; the
streets were pretty full, and that makes it harder to get
along."
" We met such quantities of soldiers," put in Bella.
" Do you remember those two soldiers at Rosherwich,
Mr. Tweddle ? How funny they did look, dancing ;
didn t they? But I suppose I mustn t say anything
about the dancing here, must I ? "
" Since," said the poor badgered man, " you put it to
me, Miss Parkinson, I must say that, considering the day,
you know
" Yes," continued Mrs. Collum, severely ; " surely
193
THE TINTED VENUS.
there are better topics for the Sabbath than than a
dancing soldier ! "
" Mr. Tweddle knows why I stopped myself," said
Bella. " But there, I won t tell of you not now, at all
events ; so don t look like that at me ! "
" There, Bella, that ll do," said her fiance, suddenly
awakening to the fact that she was trying to make herself
disagreeable, and perhaps feeling slightly ashamed of her.
" James ! I know what to say and what to leave
unsaid, without tellings from you ; thanks all the same.
You needn t fear my saying a word about Mr. Tweddle
and Ada la, now, if I haven t gone and said it ! What
a stupid I am to run on so ! "
"Drop it, Bella! Do you hear? That s enough,"
growled Jauncy.
Leander sat silent ; he did not attempt again to turn
the conversation : he knew better. Matilda seemed per
fectly calm, and certainly showed no surface curiosity;
but he feared that her mother intended to require
explanations.
Miss Tweddle came in here with the original remark
that winter had begun now in good earnest.
" Yes," said Bella. " Why, as we came along, there
wasn t hardly a leaf on the trees in the squares ; and yet
only yesterday week, at the gardens, the trees hadn t
begun to shed. Had they, Mr. Tweddle? Oh, but I
forgot ; you were so taken up with paying attention to
Ada ( Well, James ! I suppose I can make a
remark !) "
" I ll never take you out again, if you don t hold that
tongue," he whispered savagely.
Mrs. Collum fixed her eyes on Leander, as he sat
cowering on her right. "Leander Tweddle," she said,
in a hissing whisper, " what is that young person talking
194
DENOUNCED.
about ? Who who is this Ada ? I insist upon being
told."
" If you want to know, ask her," he retorted
desperately.
All this by-play passed unnoticed by Miss Tweddle,
who was probably too full of the cares of a hostess to pay
attention to it ; and, accordingly, she judged the pause
that followed the fitting opportunity for a little speech.
" Mrs. Collum, ma am," she began ; " and my dearest
Miss Matilda, the flower of all my lady lodgers ; and you,
Leandy!; and Mr. Jauncy ; and, though last mentioned,
not intentionally so, I assure you, Miss Parkinson, my
dear I couldn t tell you how honoured I feel to see you
all sitting, so friendly and cheerful, round my humble
table. I hope this will be only the beginning of many
more so ; and I wish you all your very good healths ! "
" Which, if I may answer for self and present com
pany," said Mr. Jauncy, nobody else being able to utter
a word, " we drink and reciprocate."
Leander was saved for the moment, and the dinner
passed without further incident. But his aunt s vein of
sentiment had been opened, and could not be staunched
all at once ; for when the cloth was removed, and the
decanters and dishes of oranges placed upon the table,
she gave a little preparatory cough and began again.
" I m sure it isn t my wish to be ceremonial," she
said ; " but we re all among friends for I should like to
look upon you as a friend, if you ll let me," she added
rather dubiously, to Bella. " And I don t really think
there could be a better occasion for a sort of little
ceremony that I ve quite set my heart on. Leandy, you
know what I mean ; and you ve got it with you, I know,
because you were told to bring it with you."
" Miss Tweddle," interrupted Matilda, hurriedly, " not
THE TINTED VENUS.
now. I I don t think Vidler has sent it back yet. I
told you, you know
" That s all you know about it, young lady," she said,
archly ; " for I stepped in there yesterday and asked him
about it, to make sure, and he told me it was delivered
over the very Saturday afternoon before. So, Leandy,
oblige me for once, and put it on the dear girl s finger
before us all ; you needn t be bashful with us, I m sure,
either of you."
"What is all this?" asked Mrs. Collum.
" Why, it s a ring, Mrs. Collum, ma am, that belonged
to my own dear aunt, though she never wore it ; and her
grandfather had the posy engraved on the inside of it.
And I remember her telling me, before she was taken,
that she d left it to me in her will, but I wasn t to let it go
out of the family. So I gave it to Leandy, to be his
engagement ring ; but it s had to be altered, because it
was ever so much too large as it was."
" I always thought," said Mrs. Collum, " that it was
the gentleman s duty to provide the ring."
" So Leandy wanted to ; but I said, You can pay for
the altering ; but I m fanciful about this, and I want to
see dearest Miss Collum with my aunt s ring on. "
" Oh, but, Miss Tweddle, can t you see ? " said
Matilda. " He s forgotten it ; don t don t tease him
about it. ... It must be for some other time, that s
all ! "
" Matilda, I m surprised at you," said her mother.
" To forget such a thing as that would be unpardonable
in any young man. Leander Tweddle, you cannot have
forgotten it."
" No," he said, " I ve not forgotten it ; but but I
haven t it about me, and I don t know as I could lay my
hand on it, just at present, and that s the truth."
196
DENOUNCED.
" Part of the truth," said Bella. " Oh, what deceitful
things you men are ! Leave me alone, James ; I will
speak. I won t sit by and hear poor dear Miss Collum
deceived in this way. Miss Collum, ask him if that is all
he knows about it. Ask him, and see what he says."
" I m quite satisfied with what he has chosen to say
already, Miss Parkinson ; thank you," said Matilda.
" Then permit me to say, Miss Collum, that I m truly
sorry for you," said Bella.
" If you think so, Miss Parkinson, I suppose you must
say so."
" I do say it," said Bella ; " for it s a sorrowful sight to
see meekness all run to poorness of spirit. You have a
right to an explanation from Mr. Tweddle there ; and
you would insist on it, if you wasn t afraid (and with good
reason) of the answer you d get ! "
At the beginning of this short colloquy Miss Tweddle,
after growing very red and restless for some moments,
had slipped out of the room, and came in now, trembling
and out of breath, with a bonnet in her hand and a cloak
over her arm.
" Miss Parkinson," she said, speaking very rapidly,
" when I asked you to come here with my good friend
and former lodger, I little thought that anything but
friendship would come of it ; and sorry I am that it has
turned out otherwise. And my feelings to Mr. Jauncy
are the same as ever; but this is your bonnet, Miss
Parkinson, and your cloak. And this is my house ; and
I shall be obliged if you ll kindly put on the ones, and
walk out of the other at once ! "
Bella burst into tears, and demanded from Mr. Jauncy
why he had brought her there to be insulted.
" You brought it all on yourself," he said, gloomily ;
" you should have behaved ! "
197 N
THE TINTED VENUS.
" What have I done," cried Bella, " to be told to go,
as if I wasn t fit to stay ? "
" I ll tell you what you ve done," said Miss Tweddle.
" You were asked here with Mr. Jauncy to meet my dear
Leandy and his young lady, and get all four of you to
know one another, and lay foundations for Friendship s
flowery bonds. And from the moment you came in,
though I paid no attention to it at first, you ve done
nothing but insinuate and hint, and try all you could to
set my dear Miss Collum and her ma against my poor
unoffending nephew ; and I won t sit by any longer and
hear it. Put on your bonnet and cloak, Miss Parkinson,
and Mr. Jauncy (who knows I don t bear him any ill-
feeling, whatever happens) will go home with you."
" I ve said nothing," repeated Bella, " but what I d a
right to say, and what I ll stand to."
" If you don t put on those things," said Jauncy, " I
shall go away myself, and leave you to follow as best you
can."
" I m putting them on," said Bella ; and her hands
were unsteady with passion as she tied her bonnet-
strings. " Don t bully me, James, because I won t bear
it ! Mr. Tweddle, if you re a man, will you sit there and
tell me you don t know that that ring is on a certain
person s finger ? Will you do that ? "
The miserable man concluded that Ada had dis
regarded his entreaties, and told her sister all about the
ring and the accursed statue. He could not see why the
story should have so inflamed Bella ; but her temper was
always uncertain.
Everybody was looking at him, and he was expected
to say something. His main idea was, that he would see
how much Bella knew before committing himself.
" What have I ever done to offend you," he asked,
198
HER HANDS WERE UNSTEADY WITH PASSION AS SHE TIED HER
BONNET-STRINGS. \.Pae 198-
DENOUNCED.
* that you turn on me in this downright vixenish manner ?
I scorn to reply to your insinuations ! "
" Do you want me to speak out plain ? James, stand
away, if you please. You may all think what you choose
of me. /don t care ! Perhaps if you were to come in and
find the man who, only a week ago, had offered marriage
to your youngest sister, figuring away as engaged to quite
another lady, you wouldn t be all milk and honey, either.
I m doing right to expose him. The man who d deceive
one would deceive many, and so you ll find, Miss Collum,
little as you think it."
" That s enough," said Miss Tweddle. " It s all a
mistake, I m sure, and you ll be sorry some day for
having made it. Now go, Miss Parkinson, and make no
more mischief ! "
A light had burst in upon Leander s perturbed mind.
Ada had not broken faith with him, after all. He
remembered Bella s conduct during the return from
Rosherwich, and understood at last to what a mistake
her present wrath was due.
Here, at all events, was an accusation he could repel
with dignity, with truth. Foolish and unlucky he had
been and how unlucky he still hoped Matilda might
never learn but false he was not ; and she should not be
allowed to believe it.
" Miss Parkinson," he said, " I ve been badgered long
enough. What is it you re trying to bring up against me
about your sister Ada ? Speak it out, and I m ready to
answer you."
" Leander," said Matilda, " I don t want to hear it
from her. Only you tell me that you ve been true to me,
and that is quite enough."
" Matilda, you re a foolish girl, and don t know what
you re talking about," said her mother, " It is not
201
THE TINTED VENUS.
enough for me ; so I beg, young woman, if you ve
anything to accuse the man who s to be my son-in-law of,
you ll say it now, in my presence, and let him contradict
it afterwards if he can."
" Will he contradict his knowing my sister Ada, who s
one of the ladies at Madame Chenille s, in the Edgware
Road, more than a twelvemonth since, and paying her
attentions ? " asked Bella.
" I don t deny," said Leander, " meeting her several
times, and being considerably struck, in a quiet way.
But that was before I met Matilda."
"You had met Matilda before last Saturday, I
suppose?" sneered Bella, spitefully "when you laid
your plans to join our party to Rosherwich, and trouble
my poor sister, who d given up thinking of you."
" There you go, Bella ! " said her fiance. " What do
you know about his plans? He d no idea as Ada and
you was to be there ; and when I told him, as we were
driving down, it was all I could do to prevent him
jumping out of the cab."
" I m highly flattered to hear it," said Bella. " But he
didn t seem to be so afraid of Ada when they did meet ;
and you best know, Mr. Tweddle, the things you said to
that poor trusting girl all the time you were walking and
dancing and talking foolishness to her."
" I never said a word that couldn t have been spoke
from the top of St. Paul s," protested Leander. " I did
dance with her, I own, not to seem uncivil ; but we only
waltzed round twice."
" Then why did you give her a ring an engagement
ring too ? " insisted Bella.
" Who saw me give her a ring ? " he demanded hotly.
" Do you dare to say you did? Did she ever tell you I
gave her any ring ? You know she didn t ! "
202
DENOUNCED.
" If I can t trust my own ears," said Bella, " I should
like to know what I can trust. I heard you myself, in
that railway carriage, ask my sister Ada not to tell any one
about some ring, and I tried to get out of Ada afterwards
what the secret was ; but she wouldn t treat me as a
sister, and be open with me. But any one with eyes in
their head could guess what was between yon, and all the
time you an engaged man ! "
" See there, now ! " cried the injured hairdresser ;
" there s a thing to go and make all this mischief about !
Matilda, Mrs. Collum, aunt, I declare to you I told the
the other young woman everything about my having
formed new ties and that. I was very particular not to
give rise to hopes which were only doomed to be dis
appointed. As to what Miss Parkinson says she over
heard, why, it s very likely I may have asked her sister to
say nothing about a ring, and I won t deny it was the
very same ring that I was to have brought here to-day ;
for the fact was, I had the misfortune to lose it in those
very gardens, and naturally did not wish it talked about :
and that s the truth, as I stand here. As for giving it away,
I swear I never parted with it to no mortal woman ! "
" After that, Bella," observed Mr. Jauncy, " you d
better say you re sorry you spoke, and come home with
me that s what you d better do."
" I shall say nothing of the sort," she asserted. " I m
too much of a lady to stay where my company is not
desired, and I m ready to go as soon as you please. But
if he was to talk his head off, he would never persuade
me (whatever he may do other parties) that he s not been
playing double ; and if Ada were here you would soon see
whether he would have the face to deny it. So good
night, Miss Tweddle, and sooner or later you ll find
yourself undeceived in your precious nephew, take my
203
THE TINTED VENUS.
word for it. Good-night, Miss Collum, and I m only
sorry you haven t more spirit than to put up with such
treatment. James, are you going to keep me waiting
any longer ? "
Mr. Jauncy, with confused apologies to the company
generally, hurried his betrothed off, in no very amiable
mood, and showed his sense of her indiscretions by
indulging in some very plain speaking on their homeward
way.
As the street door shut behind them, Leander gave a
deep sigh of relief.
" Matilda, my own dearest girl," he said, " now that
that cockatrice has departed, tell me, you don t doubt
your Leander, do you ? "
" No," said Matilda, judicially, " I don t doubt you,
Leander, only I do wish you d been a little more open
with me ; you might have told me you had gone to those
gardens and lost the ring, instead of leaving me to hear
it from that girl."
"So I might, darling," he owned; "but I thought
you d disapprove."
" And if she s my daughter," observed Mrs. Collum,
" she will disapprove."
But it was evident from Matilda s manner that the
inference was incorrect; the relief of finding Leander
guiltless on the main count had blinded her to all minor
shortcomings, and he had the happiness of knowing
himself fully and freely forgiven.
If this could only have been the end ! But, while he
was still throbbing with bliss, he heard a sound, at which
his "bedded hair" started up and stood on end the
ill-omened sound of a slow and heavy footfall.
" Leandy," cried his aunt, " how strange you re
looking ! "
204
DENOUNCED.
" There s some one in the passage," he said, hoarsely.
" I ll go and see her. Don t any of you come out."
" Why, it s only our Jane," said his aunt ; " she
always treads heavy."
The steps were heard going up the stairs ; then they
seemed to pause half-way, and descend again. " I ll be
bound she s forgot something," said Miss Tweddle. " I
never knew such a head as that girl s ; " and Leander
began to be almost reassured.
The steps were heard in the adjoining room, which
was shut off by folding doors from the one they were
occupying.
"Leander," cried Matilda, "what can there be to
look so frightened of?" and as she spoke there came a
sounding solemn blow upon the folding-doors.
" I never saw the lady before in all my life ! "
moaned the guilty man, before the doors had time to
swing back ; for he knew too well who stood behind
them.
And his foreboding was justified to the full. The
doors yielded to the blow, and, opening wide, revealed
the tall and commanding figure of the goddess ; her face,
thanks to Leander s pigments, glowing lifelike under her
hood, and the gold ring gleaming on her outstretched
hand.
" Leander," said the goddess, in her low musical
accents, " come away."
" Upjon my word ! " cried Mrs. Collum. " Who is this
person ? "
He could not speak. There seemed to be a hammer
beating on his brain, reducing it to a pulp.
" Perhaps," said Miss Tweddle " perhaps, young
lady, you ll explain what you ve come for ? "
The statue slowly pointed to Leander. " I come for
205
THE TINTED VENUS.
him," she said calmly. " He has vowed himself to me ;
he is mine ! "
Matilda, after staring, incredulous, for some moments
at the intruder, sank with a wild scream upon the sofa,
and hid her face.
Leander flew to her side. " Matilda, my own," he
implored, " don t be alarmed. She won t touch yon ; it s
me she s come after."
Matilda rose and repulsed him with a sudden energy.
" How dare you ! " she cried, hysterically. " I see it all
now : the ring, the the cloak ; she has had them all the
time ! . . . Fool that I was silly, trusting fool ! " And
she broke out into violent hysterics.
" Go away at once, hypocrite ! " enjoined her mother,
addressing the distracted hairdresser, as he stood, dumb
and impotent, before her. " Do you want to kill my
poor child ? Take yourself off ! "
" For goodness sake, go, Leandy," added his aunt.
" I can t bear the sight of you ! "
" Leander, I wait," said the statue. " Come ! "
He stood there a moment longer, looking blankly at
the two elder women as they bustled about the prostrate
girl, and then he gave a bitter, defiant laugh.
His fate was too strong for him. No one was in the
mood to listen to any explanation ; it was all over ! " I m
coming," he said to the goddess. " I may as well ; I m
not wanted here."
And, with a smothered curse, he dashed blindly from
the room, and out into the foggy street.
206
AN APPEAL
AN APPEAL.
XII.
" If you did know to whom I gave the ring,
If you did know for whom I gave the ring,
And how unwillingly I left the ring,
You would abate the strength of your displeasure."
Merchant of Venice.
LEA]
iNDER strode down the street in a whirl of con
flicting emotions. At the very moment when he seemed
to have prevailed over Miss Parkinson s machinations,
his evil fate had stepped in and undone him for ever !
What would become of him without Matilda ? As he
was thinking of his gloomy prospects, he noticed, for the
first time, that the statue was keeping step by his side,
and he turned on her with smothered rage. " Well," he
began, " I hope you re satisfied?"
" Quite, Leander, quite satisfied ; for have I not
found you ? "
" Oh, you ve found me right enough," he replied,
with a groan " trust you for that ! What I should like
to know is, how the dickens you did it ? "
" Thus," she replied : " I awoke, and it was dark,
and you were not there, and I needed you ; and I went
forth, and called you by your name. And you, now that
you have hearkened to my call, you are happy, are you
not?"
209
THE TINTED VENUS.
" Me ? " said Leander, grimly. " Oh, I m regular
jolly, I am ! Haven t I reason ?"
" Your sisters seemed alarmed at my coming," she
said. " Why ? "
" Well," said Leander, " they aren t used to having
marble goddesses dropping in on them promiscuously."
" The youngest wept : was it because I took you from
her side?"
" I shouldn t wonder," he returned gruffly. " Don t
bother me ! "
When they were both safely within the little upper
room again, he opened the cupboard door wide. " Now,
marm," he said, in a voice which trembled with re
pressed rage, " you must be tired with the exercise
you ve took this evening, and I ll trouble you to walk
in here."
" There are many things on which I would speak with
you," she said.
" You must keep them for next time," he answered
roughly. " If you can see anything, you can see that
just now I m not in a temper for to stand it, whatever I
may be another evening."
" Why do I suffer this language from you ? " she
demanded indignantly " why ? "
" If you don t go in, you ll hear language you ll like
still less, goddess or no goddess ! " he said, foaming. " I
mean it. I ve been worked up past all bearing, and I
advise you to let me alone just now, or you ll repent
it!"
" Enough ! " she said haughtily, and stalked proudly
into the lonely niche, which he closed instantly. As he
did so, he noticed his Sunday papers lying still folded on
his table, and seized one eagerly.
" It may have something in it about what Jauncy was
210
AN APPEAL.
telling me of," he said ; and his search was rewarded by
the following paragraph :
" DARING CAPTURE OF BURGLARS IN BLOOMSBURY.
On the night of Friday, the tli, Police-constable Yorke,
B 954, while on duty, in the course of one of his rounds,
discovered two men, in a fainting condition and covered
with blood, which was apparently flowing from sundry
wounds upon their persons, lying against the railings of
Queen Square. Being unable to give any coherent ac
count of themselves, and housebreaking implements
being found in their possession, they were at once
removed to the Bow Street Station, where, the charge
having been entered against them, they were recognized
by a member of the force as two notorious housebreakers
who have long been wanted in connection with the
Camberwell burglary, in which, as will be remembered,
an officer lost his life."
The paragraph went on to give their names and
sundry other details, and concluded with a sentence
which plunged Leander into fresh torments :
" In spite of the usual caution, both prisoners insisted
upon volunteering a statement, the exact nature of which
has not yet transpired, but which is believed to have
reference to another equally mysterious outrage the
theft of the famous Venus from the Wricklesmarsh
Collection and is understood to divert suspicion into a
hitherto unsuspected channel."
What could this mean, if not that those villains,
smarting under their second failure, had denounced him
in revenge ? He tried to persuade himself that the
passage would bear any other construction, but not very
successfully. " If they have brought me in," he thought,
and it was his only gleam of consolation, " I should have
heard of it before this."
211
THE TINTED VENUS.
And even this gleam vanished as a sharp knocking
was heard below ; and, descending to open the door, he
found his visitor to be Inspector Bilbow.
" Evening, Tweddle," said the Inspector, quietly.
" I ve come to have another little talk with you."
Leander thought he would play his part till it became
quite hopeless. " Proud to see you, Mr. Inspector," he
said. " Will you walk into my saloon ? and I ll light the
gas for you."
" No, don t you trouble yourself," said the terrible
man. " I ll walk upstairs where you re sitting yourself, if
you ve no objections."
Leander dared not make any, and he ushered the
detective upstairs accordingly.
" Ha ! " said the latter, throwing a quick eye round
the little room. " Nice little crib you ve got here. Keep
everything you want on the premises, eh ? Find those
cupboards very convenient, I dare say ? "
" Very," said Leander (like the innocent Joseph Sur
face that he was) ; " oh, very convenient, sir." He tried
to keep his eyes from resting too consciously upon the
fatal door that held his secret.
" Keep your coal and your wine and spirits there ? "
said the detective. (Was he watching his countenance,
or not ?)
" Y yes," said Leander ; " leastways, in one of them.
Will you take anything, sir ? "
" Thank ee, Tweddle ; I don t mind if I do. And
what do you keep in the other one, now ? "
"The other?" said the poor man. "Oh, odd
things ! " (He certainly had one odd thing in it.)
After the officer had chosen and mixed his spirits and
water, he began : " Now, you know what s brought me
here, don t you ? "
212
AN APPEAL.
(" If he was sure, he wouldn t try to pump me," argued
Leander. " I won t throw up just yet.")
" I suppose it s the ring," he replied innocently.
" You don t mean to say you ve got it back for me, Mr.
Inspector ? Well, I am glad."
" I thought you set no particular value on the ring
when I met you last ? " said the other.
" Why," said Leander, " I may have said so out of
politeness, not wanting to trouble you ; but, as you said
it was the statue you were after chiefly, why, I don t mind
admitting that I shall be thankful indeed to get that ring
back. And so you ve brought it, have you, sir ? "
He said this so naturally, having called in all his
powers of dissimulation to help him in his extremity, that
the detective was favourably impressed. He had already
felt a suspicion that he had been sent here on a fool s
errand, and no one could have looked less like a daring
criminal, and the trusted confederate of still more daring
ruffians, than did Leander at that moment.
" Heard anything of Potter lately ? " he asked, wishing
to try the effect of a sudden coup.
" I don t know the gentleman," said Leander, firmly ;
for, after all, he did not.
" Now, take care. He s been seen to frequent this
house. We know more than you think, young man."
" Oh ! if he bluffs, / can bluff too," passed through
Leander s mind. " Inspector Bilbow," he said, " I give
you my sacred honour, I ve never set eyes on him. He
can t have been here, not with my knowledge. It s my
belief you re trying to make out something against me.
If you re a friend, Inspector, you ll tell me straight out."
" That s not our way of doing business ; and yet, hang
it, I ought to know an honest man by this time ! Tweddle,
I ll drop the investigator, and speak as man to man.
213
THE TINTED VENUS.
You ve been reported to me (never mind by whom) as
the receiver of the stolen Venus a pal of this very
Potter that s what I ve against you, my man ! "
" I know who told you that," said Leander ; " it was
that Count and his precious friend Braddle ! "
" Oh, you know them, do you ? That s an odd guess
for an innocent man, Tweddle ! "
" They found me out from inquiries at the gardens,"
said Leander ; " and as for guessing, it s in this very
paper. So it s me they ve gone and implicated, have
they? All right. I suppose they re men whose word
you d go by, wouldn t you, sir truthful, reliable kind of
parties, eh ? "
" None of that, Tweddle," said the Inspector, rather
uneasily. " We officers are bound to follow up any clue,
no matter where it comes from. I was informed that that
Venus is concealed somewhere about these premises. It
may be, or it may not be ; but it s my duty to make the
proper investigations. If you were a prince of the blood,
it would be all the same."
" Well, all I can say is, that I m as innocent as my
own toilet preparations. Ask yourself if it is likely.
What could / do with a stolen statue not to mention
that I m a respectable tradesman, with a reputation to
maintain? Excuse me, but I m afraid those burglars
have been aving a lark with you, sir."
He went just a little too far here, for the detective
was visibly irritated.
" Don t chatter to me," he said. " If you re inno
cent, so much the better for you ; if that statue is found
here after this, it will ruin you. If you know anything,
be it ever so little, about it, the best thing you can do is
to speak out while there s time."
" I can only say, once more, I m as innocent as the
214
AN APPEAL.
drivelling snow," repeated Leander. "Why can t you
believe my word against those blackguards ? "
" Perhaps I do," said the other ; " but I must make a
formal look round, to ease my conscience."
Leander s composure nearly failed him. " By all
means," he said at length. " Come and ease your con
science all over the house, sir, do ; I can show you
over."
" Softly," said the detective. " I ll begin here, and
work gradually up, and then down again."
" Here ? " said Leander, aghast. " Why, you ve seen
all there is there ! "
" Now, Tweddle, I shall conduct this my own way, if
yo2i please. I ve been following your eyes, Tweddle, and
they ve told me tales. I ll trouble you to open that
cupboard you keep looking at so."
" This cupboard ? " cried Leander. " Why, you don t
suppose I ve got the Venus in there, sir ! "
" If it s anywhere, it s there ! There s no taking me
in, I tell you. Open it ! "
" Oh ! " said Leander, " it is hard to be the object of
these cruel suspicions. Mr. Inspector, listen to me. I
can t open that cupboard, and I ll tell you why. . . .
You you ve been young yourself. . . . Think how you d
feel in my situation . . . and consider her ! As a gentle
man, you won t press it, I m sure ! "
" If I m making any mistake, I shall know how to
apologise," said the Inspector. " If you don t open that
cupboard, /shall."
" Never ! " exclaimed Leander. " I ll die first ! " and
he threw himself upon the handle.
The other caught him by the shoulders, and sent him
twirling into the opposite corner ; and then, taking a key
from his own pocket, he opened the door himself.
215 o
THE TINTED VENUS.
" I I never encouraged her ! " whimpered Leander,
as he saw that all was lost.
The officer had stepped back in silence from the cup
board ; then he faced Leander, with a changed expression.
" I suppose you think yourself devilish sharp ? " he said
savagely ; and Leander discovered that the cupboard was
as bare as Mother Hubbard s !
He was not precisely surprised, except at first. " She s
keeping out of the way ; she wouldn t be the goddess she
is if she couldn t do a trifling thing like that ! " was all he
thought of the phenomenon. He forced himself to laugh
a little.
" Excuse me," he said, " but you did seem so set on
detecting something wrong, that I couldn t help humouring
you ! "
Inspector Bilbow was considerably out of humour,
and gave Leander to understand that he would laugh in
a certain obscure region, known as " the other side of his
face," by-and-by. " You take care, that s my advice to
you, young man. I ve a deuced good mind to arrest you
on suspicion as it is ! " he said hotly.
" Lor , sir ! " said Leander, " what for for not having
anything in that cupboard ? "
" It s my belief you know more than you choose to
tell. Be that as it may, I shall not take you into custody
for the present ; but you pay attention to what I m going
to tell you next. Don t you attempt to leave this house,
or to remove anything from it, till you see me again,
and that ll be some time to-morrow evening. If you do
attempt it, you ll be apprehended at once, for you re
being watched. I tell you that for your own sake,
Tweddle ; for I ve no wish to get you into trouble if you
act fairly by me. But mind you stay where you are for
the next twenty-four hours."
216
AN APPEAL.
" And what s to happen then ? " said Leander.
" I mean to have the whole house thoroughly searched
and you must be ready to give us every assistance that s
what s to happen. I might make a secret of it ; but
where s the use ? If you re not a fool, you ll see that it
won t do to play any tricks. You d far better stand by
me than Potter."
" I tell you I don t know Potter. Blow Potter ! " said
Leander, warmly.
"We shall see," was all the detective deigned to
reply; " and just be ready for my men to-morrow even
ing, or take the consequences. Those are my last words
to you ! "
And with this he took his leave. He was by no means
the most brilliant officer in the Department, and he felt
uncomfortably aware that he did not see his way clear
as yet. He could not even make up his mind on so
elementary a point as Leander s guilt or innocence.
But he meant to take the course he had announced,
and his frankness in giving previous notice was not with
out calculation. He argued thus : If Tweddle was free
from all complicity, nothing was lost by delaying the
search for a day ; if he were guilty, he would be more
than mortal if he did not attempt, after such a warning,
either to hide his booty more securely, and probably
leave traces which would betray him, or else to escape
when his guilt would be manifest.
Unfortunately, there were circumstances in the case
which he could not be expected to know, and which
made his logic inapplicable.
After he had gone, Leander thrust his hands deep
into his pockets, and began to whistle forlornly. " A
little while ago it was burglars now it s police ! " he
reflected aloud. " I m going it, I am ! And then there s
217
THE TINTED VENUS.
Matilda and that there Venus one predickyment on top
of another ! " (But here a sudden hope lightened his
burden.) "Suppose she s took herself off for good?"
He was prevented from indulging this any further by a
long, low laugh, which came from the closed cupboard.
" No such luck she s back again ! " he groaned.
" Oh, come out if you want to. Don t stay larfin at me in
there ! "
The goddess stepped out, with a smile of subdued
mirth upon her lips. " Leander," she said, " did it sur
prise you just now that I had vanished ? "
" Oh," he said wearily, " I don t know yes, I suppose
so. You found some way of getting through at the back,
I dare say ? "
" Do you think that even now I cannot break through
the petty restraints of matter ? "
" Well, however it was managed, it was cleverly done.
I must say that. I didn t hardly expect it of you. But
you must do the same to-morrow night, mind you ! "
" Must I, indeed ? " she said.
"Yes, unless you want to ruin me altogether, you
must. They re going to search the premises for you /"
" I have heard all," she said. " But give yourself no
anxiety : by that time you and I will be beyond human
reach."
" Not me," he corrected. " If you think I m going
to let myself be wafted over to Cyprus (which is British
soil now, let me tell you), you re under a entire delusion.
I ve never been wafted anywhere yet, and I don t mean
to try it ! "
All her pent-up wrath broke forth and descended
upon him with crushing force.
" Meanest and most contemptible of mortal men, you
shall recognize me as the goddess I am ! I have borne
218
LEANDER WENT DOWN ON ALL FOURS ON THE HEARTHRUG.
[Page 221.
AN APPEAL.
with you too long ; it shall end this night. Shallow fool
that you have been, to match your puny intellect against
a goddess famed for her wiles as for her beauty ! You
have thought me simple and guileless ; you have never
feared to treat me with disrespect; you have even
dared to suppose that you could keep me an immortal
pent within these wretched walls ! I humoured you,
I let you fool yourself with the notion that your will was
free your soul your own. Now that is over ! Consider
the perils which encircle you. Everything has been
aiding to drive you into these arms. My hour of triumph
is at hand yield, then ! Cast yourself at my feet, and
grovel for pardon for mercy or assuredly I will spare
you not ! "
Leander went down on all fours on the hearthrug.
" Mercy ! " he cried, feebly. " I ve meant no offence.
Only tell me what you want of me."
" Why should I tell you again ? I demand the words
from you which place you within my power : speak them
at once ! "
(" Ah," thought Leander, " I am not in her power
as it is, then.") " If I was to tell you once more that I
couldn t undertake to say any such words?" he asked
aloud.
" Then," she said, " my patience would be at an end,
and I would scatter your vile frame to the four winds of
heaven ! "
" Lady Venus," said Leander, getting up with a white
and desperate face, " don t drive me into a corner. I
can t go off, not at a moment s notice in either way !
I I must have a day only a day to make my arrange
ments in. Give me a day, Lady Venus ; I ask it as a
partickler favour ! "
" Be it so," she said. " One day I give you in which
221
THE TINTED VENUS.
to take leave of such as may be dear to you ; but, after
that, I will listen to no further pleadings. You are mine,
and, all unworthy as you are, I shall hold you to your
pledge ! "
Leander was left with this terrible warning ringing in
his ears : the goddess would hold him to his involuntary
pledge. Even he could see that it was pride, and not
affection, which rendered her so determined; and he
trembled at the thought of placing himself irrevocably in
her power.
But what was he to do? The alternative was too
awful; and then, in either case, he must lose Matilda.
Here the recollection of how he had left her came over
him with a vivid force. What must she be thinking of
him at that moment ? And who would ever tell her the
truth, when he had been spirited away for ever ?
" Oh, Matilda ! " he cried, " if you only knew the
hidgeous position I m in if you could only advise me
what to do I could bear it better ! "
And then he resolved that he would ask that advice
without delay, and decide nothing until she replied.
There was no reason for any further concealment : she
had seen the statue herself, and must know the worst.
What she could not know was his perfect innocence of
any real unfaithfulness to her, and that he must explain.
He sat up all night composing a letter that should
touch her to the heart, with the following result :
" MY OWN DEAREST GlRL,
" If such you will still allow me to qualify
you, I write to you in a state of mind that I really ardly
know what I am about, but I cannot indure making no
effort to clear up the gaping abiss which the events of
the past fatal afternoon has raised betwixt us.
222
AN APPEAL.
" In spite of all I could do, you have now seen, and
been justly alarmed at, the Person with whom I allowed
myself to become involved in such a unhappy and un
precedented manner, and having done so, you can think
for yourself whether that Art of Stone was able for to
supplant yours for a single moment, though the way in
which such a hidgeous Event transpired I can not trust
my pen to describe except in the remark that it was
purely axidental. It all appened on that ill-ominous
Saturday when we went down to those Gardens where
my Doom was saving up to lay in wait for me, and I
scorn to deny that Bella s sister Ada was one of the
party. But as to anything serous in that quarter, oh
Tilly the ole time I was contrasting you with her and
thinking how truly superior, and never did I swerve not
what could be termed a swerve for a instant. I did
dance arf a walz with her but why? Because she
asked me to it and as a Gentleman I was bound to
oblige ! And that was afterwards too, when I had put
that ring on which is the sauce of all my recent aggony.
All the while I was dancing my thoughts were elsewhere
on how I could get the ring back again, for so I still
hoped I could, though when I came to have a try, oh
my dear girl no one couldn t persuade her she s that
obstinate, and yet unless I do it is all over with me, and
soon too !
" And now if it s the last time I shall ever write words
with a mortal pen, I must request your support in this
dilemmer which is sounding its dread orns at my very
door!
" You know what she is and who she is, and you can
not doubt but what she s a godess loath as you must feel
to admit such a thing, and I ask you if it would be
downright wicked in me to do what she tells me I must
223
THE TINTED VENUS.
do. Indeed I wont do it, being no less than flying with
her immediate to a distant climb, and you know how
repugnant I am to such a action not if you advise me
against it or even if you was but to assure me your
affections were unchanged in spite of all ! But you
know we parted under pigulier circs, and I cannot dis-
gise from myself that you may be thinking wuss of me
than what Matilda I can honestly say I deserve !
" Now I tell you solimly that if this is the fact, and
you ve been thinking of your proper pride and your
womanly dignity and things like that there s no time for
to do it in Matilda, if you don t want to break with me for
all Eternity !
" For she s pressing me to carry out the pledge, as she
calls it, and I must decide before this time to-morrow,
and I want to feel you are not lost to me before I can
support my trial, and what with countless perplexities
and burglars threatening, and giving false informations,
and police searching, there s no saying what I may do
nor what I mayn t do if I m left to myself, for indeed I
am very unappy Matilda, and if ever a man was made
a Victim through acting without intentions, or if with,
of the best I am that Party ! O Matilda don t, don t
desert me, unless you have seased to care for me, and
in that contingency I can look upon my Fate whatever
it be with a apathy that will supply the courage which
will not even winch at its approach, but if I am still of
value, come, and come precious soon, or it will be too
late to the Asistance of
" Your truly penitent and unfortunate
" LEANDER TWEDDLE.
"P.S. You will see the condition of my feelings
from my spelling I haven t the hart to spell."
224
AN APPEAL.
Dawn was breaking as he put the final touches to
this appeal, and read it over with a gloomy approbation.
He had always cherished the conviction that he could
" write a good letter when he was put to it," and felt now
that he had more than risen to the occasion.
" William shall take it down to Bayswater the first
thing to-morrow no, to-day, I mean," he said, rubbing
his hot eyes. " I fancy it will do my business ! "
And it did.
225
THE LAST STRAW
THE LAST STRAW.
XIII.
"Thou in justice,
If from the height of majesty we can
Look down upon thy lowness and embrace it,
Art bound with fervour to look up to me."
MASSINGER, Roman Actor.
H
AGGARD and distraught was Leander as he went
about his business that morning, so mechanically that
one customer, who had requested to have his luxuriant
locks "trimmed," found himself reduced to a state of
penal bullet-headedness before he could protest, and
another sacrificed his whiskers and part of one ear to the
hairdresser s uninspired scissors. For Leander s eyes
were constantly turning to the front part of his shop,
where his apprentice might come in at any moment with
the answer to his appeal.
At last the moment came when the bell fixed at the
door sounded sharply, and he saw the sleek head and
chubby red face he had been so anxiously expecting.
He was busy with a customer ; but that could not detain
him then, and he rushed quickly into the outer shop.
"Well, William," he said, breathlessly, "a nice time
you ve been over that message ! I gave you the money
for your bus."
" Yusser, but it was this way : you said a green bus,
229
THE TINTED VENUS.
and I took a green bus with Bayswater on it, and I
didn t know nothing was wrong, and when it stopped I
sez to the conductor, This ain t Kensington Gardings ;
and he sez, No, it s Archer Street ; and I sez
" Never mind that now ; you got to the shop, didn t
you?"
" Yes, I got to the shop, sir, and I see the lady ;
but I sez to that conductor, You should ha told me, I
sez "
" Did she give you anything for me ? " interrupted
Leander, impatiently.
" Yessur," said the boy.
" Then where the dooce is it ? "
" Ere ! " said William, and brought out an envelope,
which his master tore open with joy. It contained his
own letter !
" William," he said unsteadily, " is this all ? "
" Ain t it enough, sir ? " said the young scoundrel,
who had guessed the state of affairs, and felt an impish
satisfaction at his employer s rejection.
" None of that, William ; d ye hear me ? " said
Leander. " William, I ain t been a bad master to you.
Tell me, how did she take it ? "
" Well," she didn t seem to want to take it nohow at
first," said the boy. " I went up to the desk where she
was a-sittin and gave it her, and by-and-by she opened
it with the tips of her fingers, as if it would bite, and read
it all through very careful, and I could see her nose
going up gradual, and her colour coming, and then she
sez to me, You may go now, boy ; there s no answer.
And I sez to her, { If you please, miss, master said as I
was not to go away without a answer. So she sez, un
common short and stiff, In that case he shall have it ! -
like that, she says, as proud as a queen, and she scribbles
230
THE LAST STRAW.
a line or two on it, and throws it to me, and goes on
casting up riggers."
" A line or two ! where ? " cried Leander, and caught
up the letter again. Yes, there on the last page was
Matilda s delicate commercial handwriting, and the poor
man read the cruel words, " 2 have nothing to advise ; I
give you up to your goddess !
"Very well, William," he said, with a deadly calm ;
" that s all. You young devil ! what are you a-sniggering
at ? " he added, with a sudden outburst.
" On y something I eard a boy say in the street, sir,
going along, sir ; nothing to do with you, sir."
" Oh, youth, youth ! " muttered the poor broken man ;
" boys don t grow feelings, any more than they grow
whiskers ! "
And he went back to his saloon, where he was in
stantly hailed with reproaches from the abandoned
customer.
" Look here, sir ! what do you mean by this ? I told
you I wanted to be shaved, and you ve soaped the top
of my head and left it to cool ! What " and he made
use of expletives here " what are you about ? "
Leander apologized on the ground of business of a
pressing nature, but the customer was not pacified.
" Business, sir ! your business is here : I m your
business ! And I come to be shaved, and you soap the
top of my head, and leave me all alone to dry ! It s
scandalous ! it s
" Look here, sir," interrupted Leander, gloomily ;
" I ve a good deal of private trouble to put up with just
now, without having you going on at me ; so I must ask
you not to arris me like this, or I don t know what I
might do, with a razor so andy ! "
" That ll do ! " said the customer, hastily. " I I
231
THE TINTED VENUS.
don t care about being shaved this morning. Wipe my
head, and let me go ; no, I ll wipe it myself, don t you
trouble ! " and he made for the door. " It s my belief,"
he said, pausing on the threshold for an instant, " that
you re a dangerous lunatic, sir ; you ought to be shut up ! "
" I dessay I shall have a mad doctor down on me
after this," thought Leander ; " but I shan t wait for him.
No, it is all over now ; the die is fixed ! Cruel Tillie !
you have spoke the mandrake ; you have thrust me into
the stony harms of that eathen goddess always sup
posing the police don t nip in fust, and get the start of
her."
No more customers came that day, which was for
tunate, perhaps, for them. The afternoon passed, and
dusk approached, but the hairdresser sat on, motionless,
in his darkening saloon, without the energy to light a
single gas-jet.
At last he roused himself sufficiently to go to the
head of the stairs leading to his " labatry," and call for
William, who, it appeared, was composing an egg-wash,
after one of his employer s formulae, and came up,
wondering to find the place in darkness.
" Come here, William," said Leander, solemnly. " I
just want a few words with you, and then you can go.
I can do the shutting-up myself. William, we can none
of us foretell the future ; and it may so appen that you
are looking on my face for the last time. If it should so
be, William, remember the words I am now about to
speak, and lay them to art ! . . . This world is full of
pitfalls ; and some of us walk circumspect and keep out
of em, and some of us, William some of us don t. If
there s any places more abounding in pitfalls than what
others are, it is the noxious localities known under the
deceitful appellation of pleasure gardens. And you
232
THE LAST STRAW.
may take that as the voice of one calling to you from
the bottom of about as deep a ole as a mortal man ever
plumped into. And if ever you find a taste for statuary
growing on you, William, keep it down, wrastle with it,
and don t encourage it. Farewell, William ! Be here at
the usual time to-morrow, though whether you will find
me here is more than I can say."
The boy went away, much impressed by so elaborate
and formal a parting, which seemed to him a sign that,
in his parlance, " the guv nor was going to make a bolt
of it."
Leander busied himself in some melancholy prepara
tions for his impending departure, dissolution, or in
carceration ; he was not very clear which it might be.
He went down and put his " labatry " in order.
There he had worked with all the fiery zeal of an in
ventor at the discoveries which were to confer perpetual
youth, in various sized bottles, upon a grateful world.
He must leave them all, with his work scarcely begun !
Another would step in and perfect what he had left
incomplete !
He came up again, with a heavy heart, and examined
his till. There was not much ; enough, however, for
William s wages and any small debts. He made a list of
these, and left it there with the coin. " They must settle
it among themselves," he thought, wearily ; " I can t be
bothered with business now."
He was thinking whether it was worth while to shut
the shop up or not; when a clear voice sounded from
above
" Leander, where art thou ? Come hither ! "
And he started as if he had been shot. " I m coming,
madam," he called up, obsequiously. " I ll be with you
in one minute ! "
233 P
THE TINTED VENUS.
" Now for it," he thought, as he went up to his
sitting-room. " I wish I wasn t all of a twitter. I wish
I knew what was coming next ! "
The room was dark, but when he got a light he saw
the statue standing in the centre of the room, her hood
thrown back, and the fur-lined mantle hanging loosely
about her ; the face looked stern and terrible under its
brilliant tint.
" Have you made your choice ? " she demanded.
" Choice ! " he said. I haven t any choice left
me ! "
" It is true," she said triumphantly. " Your friends
have deserted you ; mortals are banded together to seize
and disgrace you : you have no refuge but with me. But
time is short. Come, then, place yourself within the
shelter of these arms, and, while they enfold you tight in
their marble embrace, repeat after me the words which
complete my power."
"There s no partickler hurry," he objected. " I will
directly. I I only want to know what will happen
when I ve done it. You can t have any objection to a
natural curiosity like that."
" You will lose consciousness, to recover it in balmy
Cyprus, with Aphrodite (no longer cold marble, but the
actual goddess, warm and living), by your side ! Ah !
impervious one, can you linger still? Do you not
tremble with haste to feel my breath fanning your cheek,
my soft arm around your neck ? Are not your eyes
already dazzled by the gleam of my golden tresses ? "
" Well, I can t say they are ; not at present," said
Leander. " And, you see, it s all very well ; but, as I
asked you once before, how are you going to get me
there? It s a long way, and I m ten stone, if I m an
ounce ! "
234
THE LAST STRAW.
" Heavy-witted youth, it is not your body that will
taste perennial bliss."
" And what s to become of that, then ? " he asked,
anxiously.
" That will be left here, clasped to this stone, itself as
cold and lifeless."
" Oh ! " said Leander, " I didn t bargain for that, and
I don t like it."
" You will know nothing of it ; you will be with me,
in dreamy grottoes strewn with fragrant rushes and the
new-stript leaves of the vine, where the warm air woos to
repose with its languorous softness, and the water as it
wells murmurs its liquid laughter. Ah 1 no Greek would
have hesitated thus."
" Well, I ain t a Greek ; and, as a business man, you
can t be surprised if I want to make sure it s a genuine
thing, and worth the risk, before I commit myself. I
think I understand that it s the gold ring which is to
bind us two together ? "
" It is," she said ; " by that pure and noble metal are
we united."
" Well," said Leander, " that being so, I should wish
to have it tested, else there might be a hitch somewhere
or other."
" Tested ! " she cried ; " what is that ? "
" Trying it, to see if it s real gold or not," he said.
" We can easily have it done."
"It is needless," she replied, haughtily. " I will not
suffer my power to be thus doubted, nor that of the pure
and precious metal through which I have obtained it ! "
Leander might have objected to this as an example of
that obscure feat, " begging the question ; " for, whether
the metal was pure and precious, was precisely the point
he desired to ascertain. And this desire was quite
235
THE TINTED VENUS.
genuine ; for, though he saw no other course before him
but that upon which the goddess insisted, he did wish to
take every reasonable precaution.
" For all I know," he reasoned in his own mind, " if
there s anything wrong with that ring, I may be left igh
and dry, halfway to Cyprus ; or she may get tired of me,
and turn me out of those grottoes of hers ! If I must go
with her, I should like to make things as safe as I could."
" It won t take long," he pleaded ; " and if I find the
ring s real gold, I promise I won t hold out any longer."
" There is no time," she said, " to indulge this whim.
Would you mock me, Leander ? Ha ! did I not say so ?
Listen ! "
The private bell was ringing loudly. Leander rushed
to the window, but saw no one. Then he heard the clang
of the shop bell, as if the person or persons had dis
covered that an entrance was possible there.
" The guards ! " said the statue. " Will you wait for
them, Leander ? "
" No ! " he cried. " Never mind what I said about
the ring ; I ll risk that. Only only, don t go away with
out me. . . . Tell me what to say, and I ll say it, and
chance the consequences ! "
" Say, * Aphrodite, daughter of Olympian Zeus, I
yield ; I fulfil the pledge ; I am thine ! "
" Well," he thought, " here goes. Oh, Matilda, you re
responsible for this ! " And he advanced towards the
white extended arms of the goddess. There were
hasty steps outside ; another moment and the door
would be burst open.
"Aphrodite, daughter of he began, and re
coiled suddenly ; for he heard his name called from
without in a voice familiar and once dear to him.
" Leander, where are you ? It s all dark ! Speak to
236
" STOP WHERE YOU ARE ! . . . FOR MERCY S SAKE, DON T
COME IN ! " [Page 239.
THE LAST STRAW.
me ; tell me you ve done nothing rash ! Oh, Leander,
it s Matilda ! "
That voice, which a short while back he would have
given the world to hear once more, appalled him now.
For if she came in, the goddess would discover who
she was, and then he shuddered to think what might
happen then !
Matilda s hand was actually on the door. " Stop
where you are ! " he shouted, in despair j " for mercy s
sake, don t come in ! "
" Ah ! you are there, and alive ! " she cried. " I am
not too late j and I will come in ! "
And in another instant she burst into the room, and
stood there, her tear-stained face convulsed with the
horror of finding him in such company.
239
THE THIRTEENTH TRUMP
THE THIRTEENTH TRUMP.
XIV.
" Your adversary having thus secured the lead with the last
trump, you will be powerless to prevent the bringing-in of the long
suit."
ROUGH S Guide to Whist.
" What ! thinkest thou that utterly in vain
Jove is my sire, and in despite my will
That thou canst mock me with thy beauty still ? "
Story of Cupid and Psyche.
JUEANDER, when he wrote his distracted appeal to
Matilda, took it for granted that she had recognized the
statue for something of a supernatural order, and this,
combined with his perplexed state of mind, caused him
to be less explicit than he might have been in referring
to the goddess s ill-timed appearance.
But, unfortunately, as will probably have been already
anticipated, the only result of this reticence was, that
Matilda saw in his letter an abject entreaty for her consent
to his marriage with Ada Parkinson, to avoid legal pro
ceedings, and, under this misapprehension, she wrote the
line that abandoned all claims upon him, and then went
on with her accounts, which were not so neatly kept that
day as usual.
What she felt most keenly in Leander s conduct was,
that he should have placed the ring, which to all intent
243
THE TINTED VENUS.
was her own, upon the finger of another. She could not
bear to think of so unfeeling an act, and yet she thought
of it all through the long day, as she sat, outwardly
serene, at her high desk, while her attendants at her side
made up sprays for dances and wreaths for funerals from
the same flowers.
And at last she felt herself urged to a course which,
in her ordinary mind, she would have shrunk from as a
lowering of her personal dignity : she would go and see
her rival, and insist that this particular humiliation should
he spared her. The ring was not Leander s to dispose
of at least, to dispose of thus ; it was not right that any
but herself should wear it ; and, though the token could
never now be devoted to its rightful use, she wanted to
save it from what, in her eyes, was a kind of profanation.
She would not own it to herself, but there was a motive
stronger than all this the desire to relieve her breast
of some of the indignation which was choking her, and
of which her pride forbade any betrayal to Leander
himself.
This other woman had supplanted her ; but she should
be made to feel the wrong she had done, and her
triumphs should be tempered with shame, if she were
capable of such a sensation. Matilda knew very well
that the ring was not hers, and she wanted it no longer ;
but, then, it was Miss Tweddle s, and she would claim it
in her name.
She easily obtained permission to leave somewhat
earlier that evening, as she did not often ask such
favours, and soon found herself at Madame Chenille s
establishment, where she remembered to have heard from
Bella that her sister was employed.
She asked for the forewoman, and begged to be
allowed to speak to Miss Parkinson in private for a very
244
THE THIRTEENTH TRUMP.
few minutes ; but the forewoman referred her to the pro
prietress, who made objections : such a thing was never
permitted during business hours, the shop would close in
an hour, till then Miss Parkinson was engaged in the
show-room, and so on.
But Matilda carried her point at last, and was shown
to a room in the basement, where the assistants took
their meals, there to wait until Miss Parkinson could be
spared from her duties.
Matilda waited in the low, dingy room, where the tea-
things were still littering the table, and as she paced
restlessly about, trying to feel an interest in the long-
discarded fashion-plates which adorned the walls, her
anger began to cool, and give place to something very
like nervousness.
She wished she had not come. What, after all, was
she to say to this girl when they met ? And what was
Leander base and unworthy as he had shown himself
to her any longer ? Why should she care what he chose
to do with the ring ? And he would be told of her visit,
and think No ! that was intolerable : she would not
gratify his vanity and humble herself in this way. She
would slip quietly out, and leave her rival to enjoy her
victory !
But, just as she was going to carry out this intention,
the door opened, and a short, dark young woman
appeared. " I m told there was a young person asking
to speak to me," she said ; " I m Ada Parkinson."
At the name, Matilda s heart swelled again with the
sense of her injuries; and yet she was unprepared for
the face that met her eyes. Surely her rival had both
looked and spoken differently the night before? And
yet, she had been so agitated that very likely her recol
lections were not to depended upon.
245
THE TINTED VENUS.
" I I did want to see you," she said, and her voice
shook, as much from timidity as righteous indignation.
" When I tell you who I am, perhaps you will guess why.
I am Matilda Collum."
Miss Parkinson showed no symptoms of remorse.
" What ! " she cried, " the young lady that Mr. Tweddle
is courting ? Fancy ! "
"After what happened last night," said Matilda,
trembling exceedingly, " you know that that is all over.
I didn t come to talk about that. If you knew and I
think you must have known all that Mr. Tweddle was
to me, you have you have not behaved very well ; but he
is nothing to me any more, and it is not worth while to
be angry. Only, I don t think you ought to keep the
ring not that ring ! "
" Goodness gracious me ! " cried Ada. " What in the
world is all this about? What ring oughtn t I to
keep ? "
" You know ! " retorted Matilda. " How can you
pretend like that ? The ring he gave you that night at
Rosherwich ! "
" The girl s mad ! " exclaimed the other. " He
never gave me a ring in all his life ! I wouldn t have
taken it, if he d asked me ever so. Mr. Tweddle
indeed ! "
" Why do you say that ? " said Matilda. " He has
not got it himself, and your sister said he gave it to you ,
and and I saw it with my own eyes on your hand ! "
" Oh, dear me ! " said Ada, petulantly, holding out her
hand, "look there is that it? is this? Well, these
are all that I have, whether you believe me or not; one
belonged to my poor mother, and the other was a present,
only last Friday, from the gentleman that s their head
traveller, next door, and is going to be my husband. Is
246
THE THIRTEENTH TRUMP.
it likely that I should be wearing any other now ? ask
yourself ! "
"You wouldn t wish to deceive me, I hope," said
Matilda ; " and oh, Miss Parkinson, you might be open
with me, for I m so very miserable ! I don t know what
to think. Tell me just this : did you wasn t it you who
came last night to Miss Tweddle s ?. "
" No ! " returned Ada, impatiently " no, as many
times as you please ! And if Bella likes to say I did, she
may ; and she always was a mischief-making thing ! How
could I, when I didn t know there was any Miss Tweddle
to come to? And what do you suppose I should go
running about after Mr. Tweddle for ? I wonder you re
not ashamed to say such things ! "
" But," faltered Matilda, " you did go to those gardens
with him, didn t you ? And and I know he gave the
ring to somebody ! "
Ada began to laugh. " You re quite correct, Miss
Collum," she said ; " so he did. Don t you want to know
who he gave it to ? "
" Yes," said Matilda, " and you will tell me. I have
a right to be told. I was engaged to him, and the ring
was given to him for me not for any one else. You
will tell me, Miss Parkinson, I am sure you will ? "
" Well," said Ada, still laughing, " I ll tell you this
much she s a foreign lady, very stiff and stuck-up and
cold. She s got it, if any one has. I saw him put it on
myself ! "
" Tell me her name, if you know it."
" I see you won t be easy till you know all about it.
Her name s Afriddity, or Froddity, or something out
landish like that. She lives at Rosherwich, a good deal
in the open air, and there, don t be ridiculous it s
only a statue ! There s a pretty thing to be jealous of! "
247
THE TINTED VENUS.
" Only a statue ! " echoed Matilda. " Oh ! Heaven
be with us both, if if that was It ! "
Certain sentences in the letter she had returned came
to her mind with a new and dreadful significance. The
appearance of the visitor last night Leander s terror
all seemed to point to some unsuspected mystery.
" It can t be no, it can t ! Miss Parkinson, you were
there : tell me all that happened, quick ! You don t know
what may depend on it ! "
"What! not satisfied even now ?" cried Ada. " Well,
Miss Collum, talk about jealousy ! But, there, I ll tell
you all I know myself."
And she gave the whole account of the episode with
the statue, so far as she knew it, even to the conversation
which led to the production of the ring.
" You see," she concluded, " that it was all on your
account that he tried it on at all, and I m sure he talked
enough about you all the evening. I really was a little
surprised when I found you were his Miss Collum. (You
won t mind my saying so ?) If I was you, I should go
and tell him I forgave him, now. I do think he deserves
it, poor little man ! "
" Yes, yes ! " cried Matilda ; " I ll go I ll go at once !
Thank you, Miss Parkinson, for telling me what you
have ! " And then, as she remembered some dark hints
in Leander s letter : " Oh, I must make haste ! He may
be going to do something desperate he may have done
it already ! "
And, leaving Miss Parkinson to speculate as she
pleased concerning her eccentricity, she went out into
the broad street again ; and, unaccustomed as she was to
such expenditure, hailed a hansom; for there was no
time to be lost.
She had told the man to drive to the Southampton
248
THE THIRTEENTH TRUMP.
Row Passage at first, but, as she drew nearer, she changed
her purpose ; she did not like to go alone, for who knew
what she might see there ? It was out of the question to
expect her mother to accompany her, but her friend and
landlady would not refuse to do so ; and she drove to
Millman Street, and prevailed on Miss Tweddle to come
with her without a moment s delay.
The two women found the shop dark, but unshuttered ;
there was a light in the upper room. " You stay down
here, please," said Matilda ; " if if anything is wrong, I
will call you." And Miss Tweddle, without very well
understanding what it was all about, and feeling fluttered
and out of breath, was willing enough to sit down in the
saloon and recover herself.
And so it came to pass that Matilda burst into the
room just as the hairdresser was preparing to pronounce
the inevitable words that would complete the goddess s
power. He stood there, pale and dishevelled, with eyes
that were wild and bordered with red. Opposite to him
was the being she had once mistaken for a fellow-creature.
Too well she saw now that the tall and queenly form,
with the fixed eyes and cold tinted mask, was inspired by
nothing human; and her heart died within her as she
gazed, spellbound, upon her formidable rival.
" Leander," she murmured, supporting herself against
the frame of the door, " what are you going to do ? "
"Keep back, Matilda!" he cried desperately; "go
away it s too late now ! "
A moment before, and, deserted as he believed him
self to be by love and fortune alike, he had been almost
resigned to the strange and shadowy future which lay
before him ; but now now that he saw Matilda there in
his room, no longer scornful or indifferent, but pale and
concerned, her pretty grey eyes dark and wide with
249
THE TINTED VENUS.
anguish and fear for him he felt all he was giving up ;
he had a sudden revulsion, a violent repugnance to his
doom.
She loved him still ! She had repented for some
reason. Oh ! why had she not done so before ? What
could he do now ? For her own sake he must steel him
self to tell her to leave him to his fate ; for he knew well
that if the goddess were to discover Matilda s real relations
to him, it might cost his innocent darling her life !
For the moment he rose above his ordinary level.
He lost all thought of self. Let Aphrodite take him if
she would, but Matilda must be saved. " Go away ! " he
repeated; and his voice was cracked and harsh, under
the strain of doing such violence to his feelings. " Can t
you see you re you re not wanted ? Oh, do go away
while you can ! "
Matilda closed the door behind her. " Do you think,"
she said, catching her breath painfully, " that I shall go
away and leave you with That ! "
" Leander," said the statue, " command your sister to
depart ! "
" I m not his " Matilda was beginning impetuously,
till the hairdresser stopped her.
"You are!" he cried. "You know you re my sister
you ve forgotten it, that s all. . . . Don t say a syllable
now, do you hear me ? She s going, Lady Venus, going
directly ! "
" Indeed I m not," said Matilda, bravely.
" Leave us, maiden ! " said the statue. " Your brother
is yours no longer, he is mine. Know you who it is that
commands ? Tremble then, nor oppose the will of
Aphrodite of the radiant eyes ! "
" I never heard of you before," said Matilda, " but
I m not afraid of you. And, whoever or whatever you
250
THE THIRTEENTH TRUMP.
are, you shall not take my Leander away against his will.
Do you hear? You could never be allowed to do that ! "
The statue smiled with pitying scorn. " His own
act has given rne the power I hold," she said, " and
assuredly he shall not escape me ! "
"Listen," pleaded Matilda; "perhaps you are not
really wicked, it is only that you don t know ! The ring
he put without ever thinking what he was doing
on your finger was meant for mine. It was, really ! He
is my lover ; give him back to me ! "
" Matilda ! " shrieked the wretched man, " you don t
know what you re doing. Run away, quick ! Do as I
tell you!"
" So," said the goddess, turning upon him, " in this,
too, you have tried to deceive me ! You have loved
you still love this maiden ! "
" Oh, not in that way ! " he shouted, overcome by
his terror for Matilda. " There s some mistake. You
mustn t pay any attention to what she says : she s excited.
All my sisters get like that when they re excited they d
say anything ! "
" Silence ! " commanded the statue. " Should not I
have skill to read the signs of love ? This girl loves you
with no sister s love. Deny it not ! "
Leander felt that his position was becoming untenable ;
he could only save Matilda by a partial abandonment.
" Well, suppose she does," he said, " I m not obliged to
return it, am I ? "
Matilda shrank back. " Oh, Leander ! " she cried,
with a piteous little moan.
" You ve brought it on yourself ! " he said ; " you will
come here interfering ! "
" Interfering ! " she repeated wildly, " you call it
that ! How can I help myself? Am I to stand by and
THE TINTED VENUS.
see you giving yourself up to, nobody can tell what ? As
long as I have strength to move and breath to speak I
shall stay here, and beg and pray of you not to be so
foolish and wicked as to go away with her ! How do you
know where she will take you to ? "
"Cease this railing!" said the statue. " Leander
loves you not ! Away, then, before I lay you dead at my
feet!"
" Leander," cried the poor girl, " tell me : it isn t true
what she says ? You didn t mean it ! you do love me !
You don t really want me to go away ? "
For her own sake he must be cruel; but he could
scarcely speak the words that were to drive her from his
side for ever. " This this lady," he said, " speaks quite
correct. I I d very much rather you went ! "
She drew a deep sobbing breath. " I don t care for
anything any more!" she said, and faced the statue
defiantly. " You say you can strike me dead," she said :
" I m sure I hope you can ! And the sooner the better
for I will not leave this room ! "
The dreamy smile still curved the statue s lips, in
terrible contrast to the inflexible purpose of her next
words.
" You have called down your own destruction," she
said, " and death shall be yours ! "
"Stop a bit," cried Leander, "mind what you re
doing ! Do you think I ll go with you if you touch a
single hair of my poor Tillie s head ? Why, I d sooner
stay in prison all my life ! See here," and he put his arm
round Matilda s slight form; "if you crush her, you
crush me so now ! "
" And if so," said the goddess, with cruel contempt,
" are you of such value in my sight that I should stay my
hand? You, whom I have sought but to manifest my
252
THE THIRTEENTH TRUMP.
power, for no softer feelings have you ever inspired !
And now, having withstood me for so long, you turn,
even at the moment of yielding, to yonder creature !
And it is enough. I will contend no longer for so mean
a prize ! Slave and fool that you have shown yourself,
Aphrodite rejects you in disdain ! "
Leander made no secret of his satisfaction at this.
"iNow you talk sense ! " he cried. " I always told you
we weren t suited. Tillie, do you hear ? She gives me
up ! She gives me up ! "
" Aye," she continued, " I need you not. Upon you
and the maiden by your side I invoke a speedy and
terrible destruction, which, ere you can attempt to flee,
shall surely overtake you ! "
Leander was so overcome by this highly unexpected
sentence that he lost all control over his limbs ; he could
only stand where he was, supporting Matilda, and stare
at the goddess in fascinated dismay.
The goddess was raising both hands, palm upwards,
to the ceiling, and presently she began to chant in a
thrilling monotone : " Hear, O Zeus, that sittest on high,
delighting in the thunder, hear the prayer of thy daughter,
Aphrodite the peerless, as she calleth upon thee, nor
suffer her to be set at nought with impunity ! Rise now,
I beseech thee, and hurl with thine unerring hand a
blazing bolt that shall consume these presumptuous in
sects to a smoking cinder ! Blast them, Sire, with the
fire-wreaths of thy lightning ! blast, and spare not ! "
" Kiss me, Tillie, and shut your eyes," said Leander ;
" it s coming ! "
She was nestling close against him, and could not
repress a faint shivering moan. " I don t mind, now
we re together," she whispered, "if only it won t hurt
much .! );
253
THE TINTED VENUS.
The prayer uttered with such deadly intensity had
almost ceased to vibrate in their ears, but still the
answer tarried ; it tarried so long that Leander lost
patience, and ventured to open his eyes a little way.
He saw the goddess standing there, with a strained
expectation on her upturned face.
" I don t wish to hurry you, mum," he said tremu
lously ; " but you ought to be above torturing us. Might
I ask you to request your your relation to look sharp
with that thunderbolt ? "
" Zeus ! " cried the goddess, and her accent was
more acute, " thou hast heard thou wilt not shame me
thus ! Must I go unavenged ? "
Still nothing whatever happened, until at last even
Matilda unclosed her eyes. " Leander ! " she cried,
with a hysterical little laugh, " / don t believe she can
doit!"
" No more don t I ! " said the hairdresser, with
drawing his arm, and coming forward boldly. " Now
look here, Lady Venus," he remarked, " it s time there
was an end of this, one way or the other ; we can t be
kept up here all night, waiting till it suits your Mr. Zoocc
to make cockshies of us. Either let him do it now, or
let it alone ! "
The statue s face seemed to be illumined by a stronger
light. " Zeus, I thank thee ! " she exclaimed, clasping
her pale hands above her head ; " I am answered ! I am
answered ! "
And, as she spoke, a dull ominous rumble was heard
in the distance.
" Matilda, here ! " cried the terrified hairdresser,
running back to his betrothed ; " keep close to me. It s
all over this time ! "
The rumble increased to a roll, which became
254
LEANDER ! " SHE CRIED, .
"I DON T BELIEVE SHE CAN DO IT.
[Page 254
THE THIRTEENTH TRUMP.
a clanking rattle, and then lessened again to a roll,
died away to the original rumble, and was heard no
more.
Leander breathed again. " To think of my being
taken in like that ! " he cried. " Why, it s only a van out
in the street ! It s no good, mum ; you can t work it :
you d better give it up ! "
The goddess seemed to feel this herself, for she was
wringing her hands with a low wail of despair. " Is there
none to hear ? " she lamented. " Are they all gone all ?
Then is Aphrodite fallen indeed ; deserted of the gods,
her kinsmen ; forgotten of mortals ; braved and mocked
by such as these ! Woe ! woe ! for Olympus in ruins,
and Time the dethroner of deities ! "
Leander would hardly have been himself if he had
forborne to take advantage of her discomfiture. " You
see, mum," he said, " you re not everybody. You mustn t
expect to have everything your own way down here.
We re in the nineteenth century nowadays, mum, and
there s another religion come in since you were the
fashion ! "
" Dorit, Leander ! " said Matilda, in an undertone ;
" let her alone, the poor thing ! "
She seemed to have quite forgotten that her fallen
enemy had been dooming her to destruction the moment
before ; but there was something so tragic and moving in
the sight of such despair that no true woman could be
indifferent to it.
Either the taunt or the compassion, however, roused
the goddess to a frenzy of passion. " Hold your peace !
she said fiercely, and strode down upon Leander until he
beat an instinctive retreat. " Fallen as I am, I will not
brook your mean vauntings or insolent pity ! Shorn I
may be of my ancient power, but something of m y
257
THE TINTED VENUS.
divinity clings to me still. Vengeance is not wholly
denied to me ! Why should I not deal with you even
as with those profane wretches who laid impious hands
upon this my effigy ? Why ? why ? "
Leander began to feel uncomfortable again. "If
I ve said anything you object to," he said hastily, " I ll
apologise. I will and so will Matilda freely and full ;
in writing, if that will satisfy you ! "
" Tremble not for your worthless bodies," she said ;
" had you been slain, as I purposed, you would but have
escaped me, after all ! Now a vengeance keener and
more enduring shall be mine ! In your gross blindness,
you have dared to turn from divine Aphrodite to such a
thing as this, and for your impiety you shall suffer ! This
is your doom, and so much at least I can still accom
plish : Long as you both may live, strong as your love
may endure, never again shall you see her alone, never
more shall she be folded to your breast ! For ever, I
will stand a barrier between you : so shall your days
consume away in the torturing desire for a felicity you
may never attain ! "
" It seems to me, Tillie," said Leander, looking round
at her with hollow eyes, " that we may as well give up
keeping company together, after that ! "
Matilda had been weeping quietly. " Oh no, Leander,
not that ! Don t let us give each other up : we may we
may get used to it ! "
" That is not all," said the revengeful goddess. " I
understand but little of the ways of this degenerate age.
But one thing I know: this very night, guards are on
their way to search this abode for the image in which I
have chosen to reveal myself; and, should they find
that they are in search of, you will be dragged to some
dungeon, and suffer deserved ignominy. It pleased me
258
THE THIRTEENTH TRUMP.
yesternight to shield you : to-night, be very sure that this
marble form shall not escape their vigilance ! "
He felt at once that this, at least, was no idle threat.
The police might arrive at any instant ; she had only to
vacate the marble at the moment of their entry and
what could he do ? How could he explain its presence ?
The gates of Portland or Dartmoor were already yawning
to receive him ! Was it too late, even then, to retrieve
the situation ? " If it wasn t for Tillie, I could see my
way to something, even now," he thought. " I can but
try ! "
" Lady Venus," he began, clearing his throat, " it s
not my desire to be the architect of any mutual un
pleasantness anything but ! I don t see any use in
denying that you ve got the best of it. I m done
reg lar bowled over ; and if ever there was a poor devil
of a toad under a harrer, I ve no hesitation in admitting
that toad s me ! So the only point I should like to submit
for your consideration is this : Have things gone too far ?
Are you quite sure you won t be spiting yourself as well
as me over this business ? Can t we come to an amicable
arrangement ? Think it over ! "
" Leander, you can t mean it ! " cried Matilda.
"You leave me alone," he said hoarsely; "I know
what I m saying ! "
Whether the goddess had overstated her indifference,
or whether she may have seen a prospect of some still
subtler revenge, she certainly did not receive this
proposition of Leander s with the contumely that might
have been expected ; on the contrary, she smiled with a
triumphant satisfaction that betrayed a disposition to
treat.
" Have my words been fulfilled, then ? " she asked.
" Is your insolent pride humbled at last ? and do you
259
THE TINTED VENUS.
sue to me for the very favours you so long have
spurned ? "
" You can put it that way if you like," he said
doggedly. " If you want me, you d better say so while
there s time, that s all ! "
" Little have you merited such leniency," she said ;
"and yet, it is to you I owe my return to life and
consciousness. Shall I abandon what I have taken such
pains to win ? No ! I accept your submission. Speak,
then, the words of surrender, and let us depart together ! "
" Before I do that," he said firmly, " there s one
point I must have settled to my satisfaction."
" You can bargain still ! " she exclaimed haughtily.
" Are all barbers like you ? If your point concerns the
safety of this maiden, be at ease ; she shall go unharmed,
for she is my rival no longer ! "
" Well, it wasn t that exactly," he explained ; " but
I m doubtful about that ring being the genuine article,
and I want to make sure."
" But a short time since, and you were willing to trust
all to me ! "
" I was ; but, if I may take the liberty of observing
so, things were different then. You were wrong about
that thunderbolt you may be wrong about the ring ! "
" Fool ! " she said, " how know you that the quality of
the token concerns my power ? Were it even of unworthy
metal, has it not brought me hither ? "
" Yes," he said, " but it mightn t be strong enough to
pass me the whole distance, and where should I be then ?
It don t look more to me than 15 carat, and I daren t run
any extra risk."
" How, then, can your doubts be set at rest ? " she
demanded.
" Easy," he replied : " there are men who understand
260
THE THIRTEENTH TRUMP.
these things. All I ask of you is to step over with me,
and see one of them, and take his opinion ; and if he
says it s gold why, then I shall know where I am ! "
" Aphrodite submit her claims to the judgment of a
mortal ! " she cried. " Never will I thus debase myself!"
" Very well," he said, " then we must stay where we
are. All I can say is, I ve made you a fair offer."
She paused. "Why not?" she said dreamily, as if
thinking aloud. " Have not I sued ere this for the
decision of a shepherd judge even of Paris? Tis but
one last indignity, and then he is mine indeed !
Leander," she added graciously, "it shall be as you
will. Lead the way ; I follow ! "
But Matilda, who had been listening to this com
promise with incredulous horror, clung in desperation
to her lover s arm, and sought to impede his flight.
" Leander ! " she cried, " oh, Leander ! surely you won t
be mad enough to go away with her ! You won t be so
wicked and sinful as that ! Remember who she is : one
of the false gods of the poor benighted heathens she
owned it herself ! She s nothing less than a live idol !
Think of all the times we ve been to chapel together ;
think of your dear aunt, and how she ll feel your being in
such awful company ! Let the police come, and think
what they like : we ll tell them the truth, and make them
believe it. Only be brave, and stay here with me ; don t
let her ensnare you ! Have some pity for me ; for, if you
leave me, I shall die ! "
" Already the guards are at your gates," said the
statue ; " choose quickly while you may ! "
He put Matilda gently from him : " Tillie," he said,
with a convulsive effort to remain calm, " you gave me up
of your own free will you know that and now you ve
come round too late. The other lady spoke first ! "
261
THE TINTED VENUS.
As she still clung to him, he tried to whisper some
last words of a consoling or reassuring nature, and she
suddenly relaxed her grasp, and allowed him to make his
escape without further dissuasion not that his arguments
had reconciled her to his departure, but because she was
mercifully unaware of it.
262
THE ODD TRICK
THE ODD TRICK.
XV.
"O heart of stone, are you flesh, and caught
By that you swore to withstand?"
Aland.
o
UTSIDE on the stairs Leander suddenly remembered
that his purpose might be as far as ever from being
accomplished. The house was being watched : to be
seen leaving it would procure his instant arrest.
Hastily excusing himself to the goddess, he rushed
down to his laboratory, where he knew there was a
magnificent beard and moustache which he had been
constructing for some amateur theatricals. With these,
and a soft felt hat, he completed a disguise in which he
flattered himself he was unrecognisable.
The goddess, however, penetrated it as soon as he
rejoined her. " Why have you thus transformed your
self? " she inquired coldly.
" Because," explained Leander, " seeing the police
are all on the look-out for me, I thought it couldn t do
any harm."
" It is useless !" she returned.
" To be sure," he agreed blankly, " they ll expect me
to go out disguised. If only they aren t up to the way
out by the back ! That s our only chance now."
" Leave all to me," she replied calmly ; " with
Aphrodite you are safe."
265
THE TINTED VENUS.
And he never did quite understand how that strange
elopement was effected, or even remember whether they
left the house from the front or rear. The statue glided
swiftly on, and, grasping a corner of her robe, he followed,
with only the vaguest sense of obstacles overcome and
passed as in a dream.
By the time he had completely regained his senses he
was in a crowded thoroughfare, which he recognised as
the Gray s Inn Road.
A certain scheme from which, desperate as it was, he
hoped much, might be executed as well here as elsewhere,
and he looked about him for the aid on which he
counted.
" Where, then, lives the wise man whom you would
consult ? " said Aphrodite.
Leander went on until he could see the coloured lights
of a chemist s window, and then he said, " There right
opposite ! "
He felt strangely nervous himself, but the goddess
seemed even more so. She hung back all at once, and
clutched his arm in her marble grasp.
" Leander," she said, " I will not go ! See those
liquid fires glowing in lurid hues, like the eyes of some
dread monster! This test of yours is needless, and I
fear it."
" Lady Venus," he said earnestly, " I do assure you
they re only big bottles, and quite harmless too, having
water in them, not physic. You ve no call to be
alarmed."
She yielded, and they crossed the road. The shop
was small and unpretending. In the window the chief
ornaments were speckled plaster limbs clad in elastic
socks, and photographs of hideous complaints before and
after treatment with a celebrated ointment ; and there
266
THE ODD TRICK.
were certain trophies which indicated that the chemist
numbered dentistry among his accomplishments.
Inside, the odour of drugs prevailed, in the absence
of the subtle perfume that is part of the fittings of a
fashionable apothecary, and on the very threshold the
goddess paused irresolute.
" There is magic in the air," she exclaimed, " and
fearful poisons. This man is some enchanter ! "
" Now I put it to you," said Leander, with some
impatience, " does he look it ? "
The chemist was a mild little man, with a high fore
head, round spectacles, a little red beak of a nose, and a
weak grey beard. As they entered, he was addressing a
small and draggled child from behind his counter. " Go
back and tell your mother," he said, " that she must come
herself. I never sell paregoric to children."
There was so little of the wizard in his manner that
the goddess, who possibly had some reason to mistrust a
mortal magician, was reassured.
As the child retired, the chemist turned to them with
a look of bland and dignified inquiry (something, perhaps
the consciousness of having once passed an examination,
sustains the meekest chemist in an inward superiority).
He did not speak.
Leander took it upon himself to explain. " This lady
would be glad to be told whether a ring she s got on is
the real article or only imitation," he said, " so she
thought you could decide it for her."
" Not so," corrected the goddess, austerely. " For
myself I care not ! "
" Have it your own way ! " said Leander. " /should
like to be told, then. I suppose, mister, you ve some
way of testing these things ? "
" Oh yes," said the chemist ; " I can treat it for you
267
THE TINTED VENUS.
with what we call aquafortis^ a combination of nitric and
hydrochloric acid, which would tell us at once. I ought
to mention, perhaps, that so extremely powerful an agent
may injure the appearance of the metal if it is of inferior
quality. Will the lady oblige me with the ring ? "
Aphrodite extended her hand with haughty indiffer
ence. The chemist examined the ring as it circled her
finger, and Leander held his breath in tortures of anxiety.
A horrible fear came over him that his deep-laid scheme
was about to end in failure.
But the chemist remarked at last : " Exactly ; thank
you, madam. The gold is antique, certainly ; but I should
be inclined to pronounce it, at first sight, genuine. I will
ascertain how this is, if you will take the trouble to remove
the ring and pass it over ! "
"Why?" demanded Aphrodite, obstinately.
" I could not undertake to treat it while it remains
upon your hand," he protested. " The acid might do
some injury ! "
" It matters not ! " she said calmly ; and Leander
recollected with horror that, as any injury to her statue
would have no physical effect upon the goddess herself,
she could not be much influenced by the chemist s
reason.
" Do what the gentleman tells you," he said, in an
eager whisper, as he drew her aside.
" I know your wiles, O perfidious one," she said.
" Having induced me to remove this token, you would
seize it yourself, and take to flight ! I will not remove
this ring ! "
" There s a thing to say ! " said Leander ; " there s a
suspicion to throw against a man ! If you think I m
1 ikely to do that, I ll go right over here, where I can t
even see it, and I won t stir out till it s all over. Will
268
THE ODD TRICK.
that satisfy you ? You know why I m so anxious about
that ring ; and now, when the gentleman tells you he s
almost sure it s gold
" It is gold ! " said the goddess.
" If you re so sure about it," he retaliated, " why are
you afraid to have it proved ? "
" I am not afraid," she said ; " but I require no
proof!"
" I do," he retorted, " and what I told you before I
stand to. If that ring is proved in the only way it can
be proved, I mean, by this gentleman testing it as he tells
you he can then there s no more to be said, and I ll go
away with you like a lamb. But without that proof I
won t stir a step, and so I tell you. It won t take a
moment. You can see for yourself that I couldn t
possibly catch up the ring from here ! "
" Swear to me," she said, " that you will remain where
you now stand; and remember," she added, with an
accent of triumph, " our compact is that, should yonder
man pronounce that the ring has passed through the test
with honour, you will follow me whithersoever I bid
you ! "
" You have only to lead the way," he said, " and I
promise you faithfully I ll follow."
Goddesses may be credited with some knowledge of
the precious metals, and Aphrodite had no doubt of the
result of the chemist s investigations. So it was with an
air of serene anticipation that she left Leander upon this,
and advanced to the chemist s counter.
" Prove it now," she said, " quickly, that I may
go!"
The chemist, who had been waiting in considerable
bewilderment, prepared himself to receive the ring, and
Leander, keeping his distance, felt his heart beating fast
269 R
THE TINTED VENUS.
as Aphrodite slowly drew the token from her finger, and
placed it in the chemist s outstretched hand.
Scarcely had she done so, as the chemist was retiring
with the ring to one of his lamps, before the goddess
seemed suddenly aware that she had committed a fatal error.
She made a stride forward to follow and recover it ;
but, as if some unseen force was restraining her, she
stopped short, and a rush of whirling words, in some
tongue unknown both to Leander and the chemist, forced
its way through lips that smiled still, though they were
freezing fast.
Then, with a strange hoarse cry of baffled desire and
revenge, she succeeded, by a violent effort, in turning,
and bore down with tremendous force upon the cowering
hairdresser, who gave himself up at once for lost.
But the marble was already incapable of obeying her
will. Within a few paces from him the statue stopped for
the last time, with an abruptness that left it quivering and
rocking. A greyish hue came over the face, causing the
borrowed tints to stand forth, crude and glaring ; the arms
waved wildly and impotently once or twice, and then
grew still for ever, in the attitude conceived long since by
the Grecian sculptor !
Leander was free ! His hazardous experiment had
succeeded. As it was the ring which had brought the
passionate, imperious goddess into her marble counterfeit,
so the ring once withdrawn her power was instantly at
an end, and the spell which had enabled her to assume a
form of stone was broken.
He had hoped for this, had counted upon it, but even
yet hardly dared to believe in his deliverance.
He had not done with it yet, however ; for he would
have to get the statue out of that shop, and abandon it
in some manner which would not compromise himself,
270
THE ODD TRICK.
and it is by no means an easy matter to mislay a life-
size and invaluable antique without attracting an incon
venient amount of attention.
The chemist, who had been staring meanwhile in
blank astonishment, now looked inquiringly at Leander,
who looked helplessly at him.
At last the latter, unable to be silent any longer,
said, " The lady seems unwell, sir."
" Why," Leander admitted, " she does appear a little
out of sorts."
" Has she had these attacks before, do you happen
to know ? "
" She s more often like this than not," said Leander.
" Dear me, sir ; but that s very serious. Is there
nothing that gives relief? a little sal volatile, now?
Does the lady carry smelling salts ? If not, I could "
And the chemist made an offer to come from behind his
counter to examine the strange patient.
" No," said Leander, hastily. " Don t you trouble
you leave her to me. I know how to manage her.
When she s rigid like this, she can t bear to be taken
notice of."
He was wondering all the time how he was to get
away with her, until the chemist, who seemed at least as
anxious for her departure, suggested the answer : "I
should imagine the poor lady would be best at home.
Shall I send out for a cab ? " he asked.
" Yes," said Leander, gratefully ; " bring a hansom.
She ll come round better in the open air ; " for he had
his doubts whether the statue could be stowed inside a
four-wheeler.
" I ll go myself," said the obliging man ; " my as
sistant s out. Perhaps the lady will sit down till the cab
comes ? "
271
THE TINTED VENUS.
" Thanks," said Leander ; " but when she s like this,
she s been recommended to stand."
The chemist ran out bare-headed, to return presently
with a cab and a small train of interested observers. He
offered the statue his arm to the cab-door, an attention
which was naturally ignored.
" We shall have to carry her there," said Leander.
" Why, bless me, sir," said the chemist, as he helped
to lift her, " she she s surprisingly heavy ! "
" Yes," gasped Leander, over her unconscious
shoulder ; " when she goes off in one of these sleeps,
she does sleep very heavy " an explanation which, if
obscure, was accepted by the other as part of the general
strangeness of the case.
On the threshold the chemist stopped again. " I d
almost forgotten the ring," he said.
" / // take that ! " said Leander.
" Excuse me," was the objection, " but I was to give
it back to the lady herself. Had I not better put it on
her finger, don t you think ? "
" Are you a married man ? " asked Leander, grimly.
" Yes," said the chemist.
" Then, if you ll take my advice, I wouldn t if I was
you if you re at all anxious to keep out of trouble.
You d better give the ring to me, and I give you my
word of honour as a gentleman that I ll give it back to
her as soon as ever she s well enough to ask for it."
The other adopted the advice, and, amidst the
sympathy of the bystanders, they got the statue into
the cab.
" Where to ? " asked the man through the trap.
" Charing Cross," said Leander, at random ; he
ought the drive would give him time for reflection.
" The orspital, eh ? " said the cabman, and drove off,
272
THE ODD TRICK.
leaving the mild chemist to stare open-mouthed on the
pavement for a moment, and go back to his shop with
a growing sense that he had had a very unusual ex
perience.
Now that Leander was alone in the cab with the
statue, whose attitude required space, and cramped him
uncomfortably, he wondered more and more what he
was to do with it. He could not afford to drive about
London for ever with her he dared not take her home ;
and he was afraid of being seen with her !
All at once he seemed to see a way out of his
difficulty. His first step was to do what he could, in the
constantly varying light, to reduce the statue to its
normal state. He removed the curls which had disfigured
her classical brow, and, with his pocket-handkerchief,
rubbed most of the colour from her face ; then the cloak
had only to be torn off, and all that could betray him
was gone.
Near Charing Cross, Leander told the driver to take
him down Parliament Street, and stop at the entrance to
Scotland Yard ; there the cabman, at Leander s request,
descended, and stared to find him huddled up under the
gleaming pale arms of a statue.
" Guv nor," he remarked, " that warn t the fare I took
up, I ll take my dying oath ! "
" It s all right," said Leander. " Now, I tell you
what I want you to do : go straight in through the arch
way, find a policeman, and say there s a gentleman in
your cab that s found a valuable article that s been
missing, and wants assistance in bringing it in. I ll
take care of the cab, and here s double fare for your
trouble."
" And wuth it, too," was the cabman s comment, as
he departed on his mission. " I thought it was the
273 R 3
THE TINTED VENUS.
devil I was a drivin , we was that down on the
orfside ! "
It was no part of Leander s programme to wait for
his return ; he threw the cloak over his arm, pocketed
his beard, and slipped out of the cab and across the road
to a spot whence he could watch unseen. And when he
had seen the cabman come with two constables, he felt
assured that his burden was in safe hands at last, and
returned to Southampton Row as quickly as the next
hansom he hailed could take him.
He entered his house by the back entrance : it was
unguarded ; and although he listened long at the foot of
the stairs, he heard nothing. Had the Inspector not
come yet, or was there a trap? As he went on, he
fancied there were sounds in his sitting-room, and went
up to the door and listened nervously before enter
ing in.
" Oh, Miss Collum, my poor dear ! " a tremulous
voice, which he recognised as his aunt s, was saying,
" for Mercy s sake, don t lie there like that ! She s
dying ! and it s my fault for letting her come here !
and what am I to say to her ma ? "
Leander had heard enough ; he burst in, with a
white, horror-stricken face. Yes, it was too true ! Matilda
was lying back in his crazy armchair, her eyes fast closed,
her lips parted.
"Aunt," he said with difficulty, "she s not not
dead 9"
" If she is not," returned his aunt, " it s no thanks
to you, Leandy Tweddle ! Go away ; you can do no
good to her now ! "
" Not till I ve heard her speak," cried Tweddle.
" Tillie, don t you hear ? it s me ! "
To his immense relief, she opened her eyes at the
274
HE THREW HIMSELF DOWN BY HER CHAIR, AND DREW DOWN THE
HANDS IN WHICH SHE HAD HIDDEN HER FACE.
[Page 277.
THE ODD TRICK.
sound of his voice, and turned away with a feeble gesture
of fear and avoidance. " You have come back ! " she
moaned, " and with her ! Oh, keep her away ! . . . I
can t bear it all over again ! . . . I can t ! "
He threw himself down by her chair, and drew down
the hands in which she had hidden her face. " Matilda,
my poor, hardly-used darling ! " he said, " I ve come
back alone ! I ve got rid of her, Tillie ! I m free ;
and there s no one to stand between us any more ! "
She pushed back her disordered fair hair, and looked
at him with sweet, troubled eyes. " But you went
away with her for ever ? " she said. " You said you
didn t love me any longer. I heard you ... it was
just before " and she shuddered at the recollection.
" I know," said Leander, soothingly. " I was obli
gated to speak harsh, to deceive the the other party,
Tillie. I tried to tell you, quiet-like, that you wasn t to
mind ; but you wouldn t take no notice. But there, we
won t talk about it any more, so long as you forgive
me ; and you do, don t you ? "
She hid her face against his shoulder, in answer, from
which he drew a favourable conclusion ; but Miss
Tweddle was not so easily pacified.
" And is this all the explanation you re going to
give," she demanded, "for treating this poor child the
way you ve done, and neglecting her shameful like this ?
If she s satisfied, Leandy, I m not."
" I can t help it, aunt," he said. I ve been true to
Tillie all the way through, in spite of all appearances
to the contrary as she knows now. And the more I
explained, the less you d understand about it ; so we ll
leave things where they are. But I ve got back the ring,
and now you shall see me put it on her finger."
277
THE TINTED VENUS.
It seemed that Leander had driven to Scotland Yard
just in time to save himself, for the Inspector did not
make his threatened search that evening.
Two or three days later, however, to Leander s secret
alarm, he entered the shop. After all, he felt, it was
hopeless to think of deceiving these sleuth-hounds of the
Law: this detective had been making inquiries, and
identified him as the man who had shared the hansom
with that statue !
His knees trembled as he stood behind his glass-
topped counter. "Come to make the search, sir?" he
said, as cheerfully as he could. " You ll find us ready
for you."
" Well," said Inspector Bilbow, with a queer mixture
of awkwardness and complacency, "no, not exactly.
Tweddle, my good fellow, circumstances have recently
assumed a shape that renders a search unnecessary, as
perhaps you are aware ? "
He looked very hard at Tweddle as he spoke, and
the hairdresser felt that this was a crucial moment the
detective was still uncertain whether he had been mixed
up with the affair or not. Leander s faculty of ready wit
served him better here than on past occasions.
" Aware ? No, sir ! " he said, with admirable sim
plicity. " Then that s why you didn t come the other
evening ! I sat up for you, sir ; all night I sat up."
" The fact of the matter is, Tweddle," said Bilbow,
who had become suddenly affable and condescending,
"I found myself reduced, so to speak, to make use of
you as a false clue, if you catch my meaning ? "
" I can t say I do quite understand, sir."
" I mean of course, I saw with half an eye, bless
your soul, that you d had nothing to do with it
it wasn t likely that a poor chap like you had any
278
THE ODD TRICK.
knowledge of a big plant of that description. No, no ;
don t you go away with that idea. I never associated
you with it for a single instant."
" I m truly glad to hear it, Mr. Inspector," said
Leander.
11 It was owing to the line I took up. There were
the real parties to put off their guard, and to do that,
Tweddle to do that, it was necessary to appear to
suspect you. D ye see ? "
" I think it was a little hard on me, sir," he said ;
" for being suspected like that hurts a man s feelings,
sir. I did feel wounded to have that cast up against
me!"
" Well, well," said the Inspector, " we ll go into that
later. But, to go on with what I was saying. My tactics,
Tweddle, have been crowned with success the famous
Venus is now safe in my hands ! What do you say to
that?"
"Say? Why, what clever gentlemen you detective
officers are, to be sure ! " cried Leander.
" Well, to be candid, there s not many in the Depart
ment that would have managed the job as neatly; but,
then, it was a case I d gone into, and thoroughly got up."
"That I m sure you must have done, sir," agreed
Leander. " How ever did you come on it ? " He felt a
kind of curiosity to hear the answer.
" Tweddle," was the solemn reply, " that is a thing
you must be content to leave in its native mystery "
(which Leander undoubtedly was). " We in the Criminal
Investigation Department have our secret channels and
our underground sources for obtaining information, but
to lay those channels and sources bare to the public
would serve no useful end, nor would it be an expedient
act on my part. All you have any claim to be told is,
279
THE TINTED VENUS.
that, however costly and complicated, however dangerous
even, the means employed may have been (that I say
nothing about), the ultimate end has been obtained. The
Venus, sir, will be restored to her place in the Gallery at
Wricklesmarsh Court, without a scratch on her ! "
" You don t say so ! Lor ! " cried Leander, hoping
that his countenance would keep his secret, " well, there
now ! And my ring, sir, if you remember isn t that on
her?"
" You mustn t expect us to do everything. Your ring
was, as I had every reason to expect it would be, missing.
But I shall be talking the matter over with Sir Peter
Purbecke, who s just come back to Wricklesmarsh from
the Continent, and, provided ahem ! you don t go
talking about this affair, I should feel justified in recom
mending him to make you some substantial acknowledg
ment for any well, little inconvenience you may have
been put to on account of your slight connection with
the business, and the steps I may have thought proper
to take in consequence. And, from all I hear of Sir Peter,
I think he would be inclined to come down uncommonly
handsome."
" Well, Mr. Inspector," said Leander, " all I can say
is this : if Sir Peter was to know the life his statue has
led me for the past few days, I think he d say I deserved
it__i do, indeed ! "
CONCLUSION.
The narrow passage off Southampton Row is at
present without a hairdresser s establishment, Leander
having resigned his shop, long since, in favour of either
a fruiterer or a stationer.
280
THE ODD TRICK.
But, in one of the leading West End thoroughfares
there is a large and prosperous haircutting saloon, over
which the name of " Tweddle " glitters resplendent, and
the books of which would prove too much for Matilda,
even if more domestic duties had not begun to claim her
attention.
Leander s troubles are at end. Thanks to Sir Peter
Purbecke s munificence, he has made a fresh start ; and,
so far, Fortune has prospered him. The devices he has
invented for correcting Nature s more palpable errors in
taste are becoming widely known, while he is famous,
too, as the gifted author of a series of brilliant and
popular hairwashes. He is accustoming his clients to
address him as " Professor " a title which he has actually
had conferred upon him from a quarter in which he is,
perhaps, the most highly appreciated for prosperity has
not exactly lessened his self-esteem.
Mr. Jauncy, too, is a married man, although he does
not respond so heartily to congratulations. There is no
intimacy between the two households, the heads of which
recognise that, as Leander puts it, " their wives harmonise
better apart."
To the new collection of Casts from the Antique, at
South Kensington, there has been recently added one
which appears in the official catalogue under the follow
ing description :
" The Cytherean Venus. Marble statue. Found in
a grotto in the Island of Cerigo. Now in the collection
of Sir Peter Purbecke, at Wricklesmarsh Court, Black-
heath.
" This noble work has been indifferently assigned to
various periods ; the most general opinion, however, pro
nounces it to be a copy of an earlier work of Alkamenes,
or possibly Kephisodotos.
281
THE TINTED VENUS.
" The unusual smallness of the extremities seems to
betray the hand of a restorer, and there are traces of
colour in the original marble, which are supposed to have
been added at a somewhat later period."
Should Professor Tweddle ever find himself in the
Museum on a Bank Holiday, and enter the new gallery,
he could hardly avoid seeing the magnificent cast
numbered 333 in the catalogue, and reviving thereby
recollections he has almost succeeded in suppressing.
But this is an experience he will probably spare him
self; for he is known to entertain, on principle, very
strong prejudices against sculpture, and more particularly
the Antique.
THE END.
LONDON : PRINTED BY WILLIAM CLOWES AND SONS, LIMITED,
STAMFORD STREET AND CHARING CROSS.
DEC 4 1943
LD21-100 W -7, 39(402,,)
Ill
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY
