Skip to main content

Full text of "Uncle Alberts manual of practical photography : and guide to the reproductive processes"

See other formats


» >' 



i ."'^v": 

^^ - ■ ^j 










fK m^ 




DEVISED £\: ,i,J 

HP^ { 

m w'ilimBn 

■m ■ -•■fflf-J 


ill i- P^-^w 

PEKR^Y 1J»- 


Ejss^^ j^\ WPmM^H 


I -^ 

^^ Ji 

Life ^ * 









UecI e JIberti 

^j^f^jjj^5_ ^f pjg 

Ku^y <^r^^ * ♦ ♦ 



^m^ to lAe /k/^podiietwe Processes 

^oJtAumoii6hi PuMiik^d bu kid /hdifnl M^hett^ 



(i) Foreword by the Author's Nephew . . . . . , 5 

(2) Indoor Photography . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 

(3) Outdoor Photography .. .. .. .. .. .. .. 17 

(4) The Patent " Hotel " or Keyhole Camera . . . . . . , . 26 

(5) Moving Object Photography . . . . . . . . . . 30 

(6) Exposure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33 

(7) Development . . . . . , . . . . . . . . . . 39 

(8) The Dark Room . . , . . . . . . . . . . . 44 

(9) Toning, Fixing and Washing . . . . . . . . . . 47 

'10) How to Tell Positives from Negatives . . . . . . . . 50 

^11) Common Defects in Negatives .. .. .. .. .. 52 

^12) Trick Photography and Montage . . . . . . . . . . 54 

'13) Miscellaneous Trickery . . . . . . . . . , . . 59 

^14) Colouring-Up and Lantern Slides . . . . . . . . , , 66 

^15) Rude Postcards . . . . . . . . . . . . , . 73 

'16) Guide to the Reproductive Processes . . . . . . . . 75 

^17) Appendix " A " Examples of Coloured Continuous-Sequence 

Photography . . . . . . . . . . 78 

^18) Appendix " B " Art in Camera 91 

^19) Appendix " C " The Power of Dotted-Lines 98 

^20) Appendix " D " Unpleasant Example of Reproduction without 

Registration . . . . . . . . . . 100 

Printed and Published by Perry Colourprint Ltd., London, S.W. 1$. 

f^^^e^ord ^ fAe Cle/^4erJ .A^A^^^ 

Obviously one's fellow men are not to be trusted ! The torrent of text books on 
The Art of Photography that has appeared during the past fiftj^ years or 
so bears eloquent, if dumb, witness to this unpleasant truism : for how, other- 
wise, could so many have based, like crawHng parasites, their spurious writings 
on ±e lovingly garnered information and painstakingly original research of my 
Uncle Albert ? It is indeed ironic that the one work of his that was never 
published should have been so brazenly pilfered — in embryo, as it were — 
whilst, to the best of my knowledge, nobody has ever dared to quote as much as a 
single phrase from any of his forty-seven volumes of published treatises on 
subjects ranging from " The possibility of a study of Amoebae as an introduction 
" to simple division in junior schools " to " Stamp collecting in North Borneo." 

Uncle Albert collecting masses of data by comparing his own 
density with that of a block of granite. The thoroughness with 
which he entered into discouraging experimental work of this 
kind, even at an advanced age, is truly indicative of that rugged 
persistence which is the earmark of the sincere seeker after 

Perhaps it is inevitable that one so sweepingly versatile as my Uncle Albert should 
have been a little garrulous. Perhaps, too, the medicinal spirits that he had 


recourse to as a stimulant after long hours in dark rooms served to loosen his 
tongue as well as to " fix his collar down "... (ptm, collodion — Ed.) ... as he 
was wont, jocosely, to remark. 

However, it is not with the causes but with the effects of such indiscriminate con- 
fidences that I am here concerned — effects, the very existence of which serve to 
indict far more effectively than any reproofs of mine the vicious practice of literary 
and scientific plagiarism. 

I ask you, dear reader, to examine any six text books on photography, chosen at 
random from the " P " section of your local Pubhc Library : What do you 
find ? The most casual examination will suffice to prove that every writer says 
precisely the same thing in precisely the same way. If you persevere and read 
three or four pages of each book thoroughly you will find the same chemicals 
mentioned, the same methods of handhng detailed and the same results arrived 
at. Six times you will read that a good developer can be made from : 

Saturated solution of ferrous sulphate . . . . . . . . 2 ozs. 

Glacial acetic acid . . . . . . . . . . . . . , \ oz. 

Alcohol .. .. ,. .. .. ., .. .. 1 oz. 

Water . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . i6 ozs. 

and six times you will be told that : 

3 AgN03 - 3 Fe So. = 3 Ag - Fe. (So^s - Fe, (No3)3 
Millions of words and acres of paper wasted on unimaginative repetition — what 
better proof than this could there be of the utter sterility of scientific cribbing? 
No ! Uncle Albert's dependents may have been robbed of some of the posthu- 
mous fruits of his scientific and artistic labours, but, in presenting his " Manual 
of Practical Photography, etc.," to the public, I am happily conscious that not 
only is a belated recognition being accorded to original research of a high order, 
but a blow has been struck that will help, in some measure, to cleanse the Aegean 
stables of photographic upstartism. 

In conclusion I would Hke to stress that this work must, by its very nature, be 
more of a spontaneous personal record than an exhaustive and ordered treatise. 
As one contemporaty critic happUy puts it . . . "One of the many things that 
Uncle Albert's Manual, etc.,' has in common with the ' Notebooks ' of 
" Leonardo de Vinci is an eclectic discursiveness that takes merely technical 
" difficulties in its stride." 

'^n^loor ^^/s€^f/^fA 

It is gratifying to remember that the modern (sic. 1890 — Ed.) Art of Indoor 
Photography has its feet very firmly planted on the pictorial achievement of the 
past. The very phrase " Necks please ! " — beloved of the busy commercial 
photographer — is a quaint survival that can be traced right back to where the 
Pre-Raphselites started from. An appreciation of this historic fact has prompted 
the keen photographic Artist to affect the velvety looseness of dress and abundance 
of hair that is to-day recognised as the distinctive uniform of pictorial genius. 
However, the hair should not be worn so long that it hangs over the camera lens 
as well as the collar : it has been found that only the very best photographers 
have that innate flair for composition which enables them to work strands of 
hair into the subjects in a natural sort of way 

Apropos of Indoor Photography, and particularly Portraiture^ I cannot entirely 
agree with W. J. Loftie who, in his book " A Plea for Art in the House," says : 
..." Photography is of little use for portraiture. I mean that large pictures 
" of landscapes in photography are much more common and more pleasing than 
" large likenesses. The vulgar staring portraits produced by many photographers 
" do not bear enlargement. . , ." To this type of irresponsible criticism one 
can only respond that the vulgar staring is an attribute of the subject and not of 
the photographer, who usually prefers peep discreetly from underneath a black 
cloth. Photographers, like their brothers in Art. cannot always be choosers, and 
one might with equal justification indict Rembrandt for picturing the vulgar staring 
Syndics of the Cloth Guild. Anyway the point can be avoided by concentrating 
on profiles and using a nice soft focus lens. Indeed, in this way it is possible to 
satisfy both of Mr. Loftie's objections as I have myself by these methods produced 
portraits which, from a short distance, are quite indistinguishable from landscapes 
of the popular " Mist in the Highlands " genre. Double-subject photography 
of this type — combining, as it does, the universal charm of landscape with the 
strong personal appeal of portraiture — is worthy of the attention of all progressive 


— In this informal get-together a new student is shown toasting 
senior members of my '^ Anti-Under-Developtnent Class.^^ 
The appearance of spontaneous gaiety is entirely illusory, since 
this particular exposure went on for about four hours (not 
including two ten-minute intervals) and both toaster and 
toastees had to ease their elastic boots several times. 


Nowadays the virtues of both the Hand-Camera and the Stand-Camera have 
been combined in a popular all-purpose or " Hand-Stand " Model. Lest this 
description should tend to mislead the unwary amateur I hasten to assure him 
(or her — ? Ed.) that the phrase " Hand-Stand " is usually regarded as applying 
to the Camera and not to the attitude to be adopted by the photographer, or, 
except under special circumstances, of the subject. It has been found, however, 
that if the subject flatly refuses to respond to the usual invitation to " Watch 
" for the Dickey," {see chapter on " Exposure ") the photographer can, as a last 
resort, usually command some degree of attention if he (or she — ? Ed.), suddenly 
stands on the hands (presumably on his, or her, own hands — Ed.), or, better still, 
hangs upside down from a trapeze, gasoher, or other convenient swinging fixture. 
I recently came across some interesting if rather involved statistics on the subject, 
which, boiled down, prove that, all things being equal, the degree of attention 
commanded by the photographer reversing his usual position varies in inverse 
ratio with the age, sex, blood pressure, underwear and general susceptibihty of 
both the photographer and his (or her — Ed.) subject. In passing it is inter- 
esting to remember that the standard Camera Tripod was designed by the 
ingenious inventor of the common or garden (or park or beach — Ed.) Folding 
deck chair, and suffers from many of the whimsical aberrations of its prototype. 
Once the contraption is opened up, and the wounds on the fingers have healed, 
it is better to forget that it is possible — at risk of limb, temper and time — to make 
it fold up again into a neat {see maker's catalogue) bundle only about four-fifths the 
size of the fully extended tripod. 

If you must use a tripod the model shown here, 
although practically useless, has the advantage of folding up into a convenient 
bundle about the size of an umbrella ; / prefer to carry an umbrella. 

However, it is only fair to say that the best indoor work is done on the stand and 
not with the hand camera. Supplementary equipment should include a large 
aspidestra or rwo, a few plain and fluted columns with removable bases and 
capitals (it is the practice, presumably to avoid the risk of contravening the Law 
of Copyright, always to combine the Four Orders of Architecture in single 
composite columns for photographic purposes — the cahbre of an Indoor Photogra- 
pher can to a large extent be measured b\- tlie ingenuuy with which he does this). 
A Jacobean Jardiniere, several hundred yards of hard-wearing drapes, a painted 
backcloth showing the interior of the Main Banqueting Hall at the Palace of 
Varieties (Versailes — ? Ed.^ an assortment of false moustaches and toupees, and 
a glass of water, complete the standard studio equipment. 

It is not considered correct to sohcit customers by standing invitingly outside 
the door of the studio and whistling or beckoning with one or more fingers. A 
discreet notice with perhaps a few chastely framed examples of photographic 
portraiture and landscape is deemed to be dignified and sufiicient. The s\nnging 
sign shown on page 12 struck just the right note. 

Once inside the subjects must be made to feel at ease and encouraged not to stare 
at the camera as if expecting it to leap at them and grasp them by the throat ; 
some photographers playfully pat the camera, just to >ho\\ that it won't bite. 
Don't overdo this — a tap is suthcieni and should not be followed by a heany 
kick or resounding thump : conduct of this kind only serves to alarm the client 
and doesn't do the camera any good. 

If two people enter the studio at the same time it is wrong automatically to assume 
that they wish to be taken together with one seated and one standing with the 
right-hand on the other's shoulder, against a background of ruined pergolas . . . 
they probably do, but it is only courtesy to enquire. Composite photographs 
of total strangers do not, as a rule, sell well ^for exceptions see chapter on Trick 

We quote from a contemporary suggesting that " . . . . When persons are about 
" to have their portrait taken, they should, if they wish to secure the most perfect 
" resemblance of themselves as they generally appear, sit to the artist without 
" making themselves up for the occasion ; thus : a novel style of arranging the 

" hair, divesting the face of whiskers, beard or moustache, or making other 

" changes (e.g., adding whiskers, beard, or moustache — Ed.) will so palpably 

" alter the general appearance of the sitter as to render recognition a task of some 

" difficulty. . . ." With these instructions we are heartily in agreement, and 

would indeed suggest that the admonition be suitably lettered, framed and placed 

in a prominent position in the studio. Elaborate preparation such as is shown 

in the photograph on page 14 is to be deplored. 

When the writer, however, goes on to say " . . .All constrained attitudes and 
" unmeaning expression of features should be also avoided. When accessories 
" are introduced by way of accompaniment to' the portrait, care should be taken 
" that these are characteristic of the sitter's tastes and habits', and reasonable in 
" themselves. Thus, placing a book in the hands of a person who is notoriously 
" illiterate is an obvious solecism ; as is also representing a female striking a 
" guitar, who does not know a note of music. ..." With this dictum we posi- 
tively do not agree ! A brilliant, if somewhat eccentric contemporary sesthete 
has remarked that Nature imitates Art and, concurring as we do in this observa- 
tion, we urge all photographers to stimulate their sitters to higher attainments 
by giving them an appropriate vision of themselves to live up to. By all means 
provoke the unmusical to " strum the lyre " and the iUiterate to read books. 

A final remark by this writer on photography serves to emphasise that he is not 
altogether a practical man when he says "... When persons are having their 
" portraits taken, it is a good plan to divert the mind by recurring to some agreeable 
" incident in their past hfe, the thoughts of which will impart a pleasant and 
" natural expression to the features." We can only remark that selective clair- 
voyance is not yet a normal attribute, even of the experienced photographer. 
Refractory subjects can always be clamped in position and left to cool off — this 
diagram shows a model we have used for years with invariable success. 
Incidentally, this same apparatus can also be used to maintain the ^ , 

" Hand-stand " position during a long exposure : the jr 

head being placed on the upholstered seat and the right 
thigh clamped into the top bracket. 

fj t R 

It took a long time to convince the young ladies shown in my composition " Five-Finger 
Exercise " of the educational value, both to themselves and others, of earnest cultural 
scenes such as this. Apparently they all thought the Harp was an illegal instrument — 
a fallacy doubtless induced by the colloquial phrase " Don't harp on it ! " — but when they 
saw the point they took it, as it were, to their bosoms and it was most difficult to get 
them back to ordinary bread-and-butter work. 







■w O 




« •« 














































































0€ct€^^ ^^Af^/h^/^€^^^ 

It is not always appreciated — even by the experienced Home photographer — that 
Outdoor Photography, in common with other sports such as Aeronautics, 
Beagling and Cricket, has its own distinctive dress. Some people (e.g., the late 
Thomas Carlyle) have an innate flair for appropriate photographic dress. Others, 
and it is to these that my remarks are primarily directed, could obviously do with 
a little kindly guidance in the matter. Pausing but a moment to cast a disapproving 
eye at this example of what not to wear, 
we pass quickly, as is our wont, from adverse 
comment to constructive suggestion. 


It is safe to say that a voluminous black cloak of the type shown above is the 
garment par excellence for the outdoot enthusiast. Fitted with eight galvanised 
iron tent pegs and a detachable bottom-curtain, or brailing, the Carlyle Cloak 


" Deerstalker " lens cap in 
Balmoral tweed. 

" Gorblimey " lens cap in 
Lambeth tweed. 

Lady enthusiasts wearing the 
new season's " Carlyle Cloak " 
with Junkers pattern Lens Cap 
to match. Only photographers 
with enough experience to know 
just what high temperatures 
can be reached when working 
at high pressure inside a closed 
cloak will fully appreciate the 
point of the abbreviated under- 

makes an admirable Portable Dark Room. To preserve privacy when working 
it is customary to run up a small red pennant embodying a suitable caution, such 

as : 

"Cloak Room Ful l," or 

"Man at Work." 

Inside this roomy enclosure it is possible to develop practically anything, and, if 
the weather should prove inclement, one can sit quietly inside with the flag up 
and remain philosophically isolated for hours. For summer wear, lady photogra- 
phers sometimes affect an additional light " over-cloak " of flowered chintz or 
gaily striped organdie ; but this frivolous practice is usually deplored by the 
more serious male votaries of the art. Last year, indeed, we saw a particularly 
elegant model ; it was composed of cloth of the new shade of pink, soft and delicate, 
and was trimmed with bands of swansdown, looped over at regular intervals 
with black velvet. The trimming was carried down one side of the front, over 
the shoulder, and in a diagonal direction across the back, down to the bottom of 
the cloak. The mixture of the black, white and pink was very happily conceived. 
For a brunette, a scarlet cloak arranged in this manner would be equally stylish. 
It is not advisable to roam too far afield when totally inclosed in a cloak, as, in 
addition to the fact that it is impossible to see where one is going, the spectacle 
has an extraordinarily irritating effect on the average yokel or bull. 
Before leaving the topic of appropriate wear a word or two about Lens Caps is 
not out of place. Here, we are pleased to say, there is more latitude for individual 
taste and there is positively no optical reason why a nice " Deerstalker " pattern 
in Balmoral tweed (with characteristic side flaps and button at top) should not 
give as good a result as the plainer, peaked or " Gorbhmey " variety. For the 
ladies what could be better than a crepe bonnet, trimmed with three bows of 
graduated lengths falHng down on each side, with a bunch of daisies and white 
lace at the top. A feather placed on each side and fastened at the back of the 
curtain, almost concealing the crown ; the curtain being made of silk, trimmed 
with lace, and the bandeau inside of white and coloured daisies ? A well-fitting 
Lens Cap or Bonnet is an absolute necessity for the hardy outdoor worker. In 

my opinion, the model featured in the picture below is both practical and becoming. 

For strenuous outdoor work, of the hunting -shooting -fishing 
variety, what could be more efficiently attractive than the out- 
fit shown here ? Wearing a concealed Hat-type camera and 
lens cap combined, with the tuck-in bloomer pattern Carlyle 
Cloak, this young lady is ready for instantaneous exposure, if 
need be. 


Although this branch of photographic endeavour is cruelly limited by Mr. 

Gladstone's " Street Nuisances and Performing Animals Act " of 1884, it is still 
practised — even if somewhat furtively. And so, once again, I turn to the Hand 
Camera Manual for moral support and technical weight. ..." For ordinary 
" landscape and marine work — as a rule, at all events — there is but little need for 
" any concealment of purpose. But in the street it is desirable for two reasons 
" that the camera should not be deteaed. Firstly, because of the attention it 
" will attract, and secondly, on account of the set poses that will follow. 

" Every endeavour, at all events, should be made to prevent the people in the 
" scene knowing that they are ' going to be took,' or else they will all be found 
" standing like plaster images staring at the camera for all they are worth. In any 
" study of street life, character, or incident, natural grouping is essential. If it be, 
" say, a fruit stall with customers, it would not be well rendered by each figure 
" therein being represented as looking straight at the camera. It is not natural, 
"it is not business. 

" Upon this subject one word of advice. The beginner must not trust to any 
" attempts at concealment in the design of the camera itself. The day is long 
" past when even a plain black box or a bag will deceive the public. 

" No, rapidity of action and secrecy of movement will effect the purpose in a 
" more reliable fashion. The camera should not be raised or pointed until the 
" exposure is possible, and this is where quickness of action comes to the front. 
" If something intervenes to prevent the exposure, the camera should be dropped 
" at once. Above all things, the worker should endeavour to forget that he has 
" anything of the kind with him, because if he pays attention to the camera, other 
" folks will do the same very quickly. 

" There are many little wiles and tricks — in fact, the up-to-date hand camera 
" man should be a deceiver of the deepest dye — such as lighting a pipe or cigar, 
" buttoning a coat, taking off the hat to wipe the forehead, blowing the nose, 
" looking into a shop window, etc., etc. Anything and everything in fact to cheat 
" the public, to deceive them as to purpose. A friend to talk to is also occasionally 
" useful, but nine times out of ten he gets in the way, and is better left at home 
" to mind the baby. It is also a mistake and a very common one, to regard the 

" scene or objects too long or too fixedly. The worker should avoid being seen 
" to possess an interest, though he may keep the matter under close observation. 
" ' Let not your left hand know what your right hand doeth.' " (Verily — Ed.) • 


Naturally, in addition to the foregoing information, a certain amount of considera- 
tion should be given to the choice of a camera best suited to one's individual needs. 

The Box Type Reflex Camera (Fig. 5), shown above has some obvious disadvant- 
ages and despite the maker's attempt to distract attention from its structural faults 
with an adjacent drawing of conjugal foci one should not be blinded to the physical 
difficulties of transporting such an apparatus " o'er hill and dale " . . .or even 
just " o'er hill." The smaller Spherical Model (Fig. 3) is more easily portable 
but suffers from the disadvantage that when in situ it has to be constantly guarded 
from small boys who, to use their own playful expression, " want to kick the ball 


off the stick "... shortsighted golfers have been known to take a swipe at it 

with a driver. 

The writer favours the type of All-Purpose Camera shown here. 

Fig. I. 

Fig. 2. 

Fig- 3' 

// vv\ 

^ Fig. 4- 

As can be 

seen, it can be used for Hand (Fig. 4), or Stand Work (Fig. 3), Hand-Stand Work 
(Figs. 2 and 4 combined and reversed), Short Focus (side angle) Lens (Fig. i), 
Long Focus (Fig. 2), and No Focus (Fig-leaf) ; it can also easily be adapted to 
carry four medium sized sandwiches and a large apple and is much less conspicuous 
than the Lunch-Box Camera shown below. 

An early Lunch-box Camera — 
now superseded by the type 
shown in Figs, i, 2, j and 4. 



We quote from the " Hand-Camera Manual " : — " The reader should understand 
that many of the wonderful inventions we read of in the non-photographic 
press are rarely, if ever, to be found on sale. Such a one, for instance, as the 
Soda Water Bottle, which snap-shotted a man in the act of drinking. 
These inventions are creditable — to the journahst. But there are some really 
pushed as downright useful things, which are the merest roys in reahty. In the 
majority, to start with, the pictures are too small to be of any value. I have no 
wish to offend, but I have certainly been surprised at the absolute rubbish 
offered to the pubhc, not only by the outsider but by the photographic dealer. 
The former I can understand, for he may not even know that it is desirable 
that the camera should be light tight. His business is to sell the cameras. But 
the photographic manufacturer or dealer, really must know sometimes that he 
is putting forward to photographers mere toys. At the same time there are 
novelties which are capable of first-class work, and with two of these I propose 
to deal. 


There have been so many humorous attempts at concealment of a camera that 
to mention a ' hat ' camera would, at first sight imply something similar. But 
this is not so, because a full size quarter-plate is used, and covered as well. The 
apparatus is simple enough notwithstanding, and can be fitted to any stiff form 
of hat — the round billycock, or the chimney pot of the Metropohs. Even the 

Fig. I. 

Here we have a model (in scale, in glass) of the 
actual Felt-Hat Camera used by the author in his 
younger days to take the series of Instantaneous 
and Moving Object photographs used to illustrate 
my article on that subject (see page 30). The 
Operatic-Hat Camera is a variation of the above 
type and is used, in conjunction with the Umbrella 
Tripod, for general espionage and Night Club work. 


" small hole necessary to permit the clear view of the lens can be so neatly cut, and 
" the part fitted so in as to attract no attention. The camera consists of a bellows 
" body, which lies flat in the ordinary way, but is extended by wires when required 
" for use. Special firm dark slides, of course, are necessary, and in addition there 
" is a focusing screen. The shutter is quickly got ready by placing, by a half-turn, 
" the release spring into its receptacle in the front of the hat. The camera alone 
" which is outUned in Fig. i, weighs by itself 2i ozs. only. The method of use 
" is shown in Fig. 2. 

Here we have a model (inaccurate, in wax), of the 
author with his Felt-Hat Camera deceptively 
poised in an attitude of old-world courtesy, whilst 
the index finger of the right hand hovers expec- 
tantly over the button. Further to conceal his 
intentions his left eye is seen to be focused on a 
point due west of where the camera is pointing — 
and presumably his right eye is focused on a point 
due east of same. It is doubtful whether the 
subject had the slightest idea she was being 


" This is in the shape of a field-glass, one lens being used as a finder, and the other, 
" of course, for the exposures. When charged with plates it only weighs 19 ozs,, 
" and is arranged for twelve exposures upon plates measuring 2| x i| inches. 


Fig. I 

Fig. 2 

•'t^t- ^Hi^ 

" Some idea of the arrangement and changing method may be gleaned from the 
" above (Fig. 2) illustration. It is very neat, effective in use, and the results 
" shown are good." 

^^e^a^^^Mt7^*m^ty{e^^^ ^^/m^^e^^ 

Phis remarkable invention which has done so much to facilitate the gathering 
of in camera evidence first came into the news of the world when the late Lord 
Justice Bunkum naively enquired "... Why were the defendants enclosed in 
" a bottle at the time ? " (laughter in court). The prosecuting counsel then 
explained that the unusual shape was caused by the keyhole through which the 
series of photographs had been taken. Before showing a selection of such photo- 
graphs — extracted from the series that resulted in a conviction in the famous 
Entwhistle v. Arsenal case — I propose to give a brief description of the ingenious 
apparatus of which I happen to be the modest inventor. 

A cardboard notice which reads " Quiet, Please " . . . " Men at Work "... 
" Out of Order "... or, indeed, anything else you like, is securely attached 
to the back of an ordinary Box-Type Camera. The camera is then loaded in 
the normal way and attached to the door by means of two or three of my patent 

h H 


i m>^ 


Gripwell Suction Pads (4 6 per box of twelve assorted sizes, obtainable from any 
reputable ironmonger or chemist), so that the Lens Aperture coincided with the 
keyhole. Next, the doorknob is quietly unscrewed and replaced with a gilded 
india-rubber bulb (for working the camera shutter, presumably — Ed.\ Finally, 
and unless an existing hole made by the hotel staff for private reconnaissance can 
be located and utilised, a Viewing Hole must be bored through the door. This 
need not be very obtrusive — \ inch diameter is usually quite sufficient — and we 
suggest that the room number can often be used to provide local camouflage ; 
e.g., if the number contains 6, 8, 9 or the hole should be bored thus. . . . 

whilst if it does not contain any of the above figures the best position for the hole 
can be determined by studying a Moorhen in its natuial surroundings, or a Purple 
Patched Wood Louse hiding in a stamp album. 

When fixed as described, the Keyhole Camera is ready for instant use ; in fact 
immediate use is advisable since too much loitering about corridors is apt to look 
suspicious. Simply peep through the Viewing Hole, wait for the dickey and 
press what everyone else thinks is the door knob. The following series of Key- 
hole Studies present many interesting features, some of which are touched on in 
different sections of this book. Unfortunately, many features which it was 
impossible to touch on anywhere else, but which were clearly prebcuted in tfie 
original series, were missing from the collection when we got it back from the 



The first requisites for moving objects are 
a green baize apron and a wide vocabulary : 
from then in it is a question of you versus 
the object. This series happen to be an 
example of prolonged indoor work, but the 
same general principles apply outdoors, 
although the exposure will probably have 
to to be cut down to conform to police 

A contemporary authority, who would deem 
to be interested in rather faster subjects 
than I am, has the following comments to 
make : "... That wretched phrase 
" ' Instantaneous ' gets in its fell work every- 
" where, and I must warn the beginner 
" against a very common failure, that of 
" firing at objects which are in reahty moving 
" at too great a speed. 

" The following table will show at once 
" what can be done and what should be left 
" undone : — 

" Man walking 5 miles per hour. 

" Vessel travelUng at 20 knots per hour. 
" Finish of Cycle Race 30 miles per hour, 
" Express Train 50 miles per hour. 

" To find the distance the object will move 
" upon the plate is it only necessary to multi- 
" ply the focus of the lens in inches by the 
" distance moved by the object in the second, 
" then divide the result by distance of the 
" object (from the lens) in inches, and 
" finally divide by the speed of the shutter. 
" For example, I will take the finish of a 
" cycle race under ordinary camera condi- 
" tions. The lens of 5 i -inch focus, the 
" shutter working at the i/30th of a second, 

~"^**»^»rf*cf *»<«** 


and the object lo feet away, the calculation would come out 

" 52 44 "= 242 ~ 120 = 2 inches per second 
Now as the shutter works at the i, 30th of a second, the movement upon the plate 
would be a fraction over 3 30th or 1/ i6th of an inch. The resulting photograph 
would be a curiosity. 

In the above example the conditions are tliose of the majority of hand-cameras, 
as although the shutters are often put down as working at the i/iooth of a second, 
or at even greater speed, considerable discount must be allowed upon these 
statements. The limit of movement upon the plate, if anything like a sharp 
image is desired, is the i/iooth of an inch. So that by working backwards we 
can find the shutter speed required or the distance from the object actually 

" necessary. The speed would have to be increased to the i 200th of a second, 
" or with the same shutter (working at i 30th) the camera would have to be 
"2,106 feet 10 inches from the object, which is too far to walk. 
" I trust tnese tables will prevent the beginner from wasting plates in the absurd 
" fashion that I have seen done on many occasions. Of course the movement is 
" calculated full broadside on, an object coming towards or receding from the 
" camera is a much easier task." 



Brushing aside the rather prudish attitude that condemns exposure of any kind 
we would say that the exposure should always be regulated to suit the subject — 
and, of course, the lighter the subject the greater should be the exposure. 
It is my experience that the subject has to be coaxed into the appropriate degree 
of exposure ; and, as a general rule, it is desirable that the lighting should be 
regulated so as to give the maximum encouragement. 

Some subjects expose better with full lighting (e.g., limelight or footlights), and 
others prefer subdued Ughting — preferably pink : whilst difficult cases refuse to 
expose anything worth looking at unless the light is out. In such cases injra red 
is not injra dig. 

When gazing at a well exposed subject do not breathe too heavily on the view- 
finder as the resultant haze tends to rob one of that savoirjaire which is so essential 
an ingredient of indoor photography. 


Once more according to Mr. Welford . . . : " It is rather awkward to refer to 
" time exposures, that is, exposures needing a support for their accompUshment, 
" because it is really not hand-camera work at all. But there are occasions when, 
" for want of light caused eidier by the dullness or lateness of the day, or by the 
" scene or object itself, prolonged exposures are necessary. 

" With practice a full second is easily managed, especially if the body be utilised 
" to the best advantage. One great point in this is to first steady the body, by 


In this example of landscape with heavy foliage (half a second at f8) we see a pair of 
conscientious students looking for a fixed support suitable for a really long exposure. 
As no fence, gate, wall or rough erection of stone or wood was available they just had to 
make do with a hedge. 

" sitting down, or leaning against a support. Holding the breath during the 
" exposure is recommended by some, but I have not found it of much assistance, 
" as the strain of so doing is as bad as the breathing. 

" For longer exposures I should strongly recommend a fixed support, and this is 
" often obtainable by search (see illustration on page 34). The top of a fence, 
" gate, or wall, rough erection of stone or wood, for instance. 
" Tripods may, of course, be pressed into service, and indeed, there are several 
" varieties upon the market made specially portable for this very purpose . . , 
" In buildings, chuches, etc., there are many opportunities afforded of local 
" support, such as pews, two chairs placed back to back, etc." 
With such a wealth of practical suggestions I can only agree. 


With some subjects it is practically impossible to prevent over-exposure : I have 
found that complete immersion in lukewarm hypo until the bubbles stop rising 
is as good a cure as any. Over-exposure is, on the whole, more desirable than 
under-exposure : unwanted detail can usually be ehminated by deft retouching. 
We show, on page 39, a few specimens of rather obvious over-exposure. 

Where uninteresting portions of the subject appear to be over exposed, whilst 
other more decorative zones are obscured, it is often a good idea to ask the sitter 
to " watch for the dickey." However, it is not wise to keep encouraging the 
subject to " watch for the Dickey " as, if it fails to appear, disappointment and 
inertia often result. In obstinate cases a teaspoonful of Butyl Chloride in a cup 
of steaming hot cocoa will usually do the trick. 


This is a common fault with beginners and it is up to the photographer to guide 
the subject. Don't rush matters — a few well-chosen formulge and a tumblerful 
of neat alcohol are usually all that is required. If the light is too strong, draw 
the blinds : if the light is not strong enough, draw the bhnds and light the 
lamp — remember, incandescent exposure of any kind is frowned on by the 
authorities. It is advisable to remove the lens cap before letting the hair down. 



One of the easiest questions to ask and the most difficuh to answer, is " what 
exposure is suitable ? " The whole matter is so governed by various factors that 
it is next to impossible to give any direct answer. 
The factors to be considered are the following : — 

(i) The nature of the subject. (4) Speed. 

(2) Strength of the light. (5) Development. 

(3) Aperture. 

The great difficulty is to bring home to beginners the considerable effect of 
variation in any one of these points. As a rule they do not grasp the importance 
of, say, (i), (2), and (3). Perhaps the following tables by Prof. Burton and 
Dr. Scott will be of assistance in the matter : — 


/8 /I I /16 

Sea and sky . . . . . . 1/40 1/20 1/16 

Open landscape . . . . 1/12 1/6 1/3 

Landscape with heavy foliage . . i i 2 

It will be observed that each stop as it decreases the aperture doubles the exposure. 

Thus, an exposure of one second withfS would be two seconds with fii, and four 

seconds with fi6. These are given for ordinary slow plates, and should be 

decreased by one half at least for the more rapid brands. 

Thus, for a well-hghted landscape i 24th of a second only (with an aperture of f8) 

would be required. The table is calculated for bright lighting. 

Another factor is the strength of the Hght. This is a most unreliable one to 

judge until experience comes to the rescue. The difference in the actinic power 

of the light, even in bright sunlight, between the morning and afternoon is great. 

The photographs (page 38) give some idea of the power jul dramatic effects that 
can be obtained by cleverly varying the exposure. The ivy leaves were put in freehand 
when it was all over and had it not been for the cat in the tin hat taking up so much 
room this caption could have been in its proper place under the picture — i?tstead of here. 



Hour of Day. 



















I A 






























T 1 
A 2 























It will be noticed that in any month the best time is between ten and two, when 
the light is strongest and with least variation. 

All the evening exposures present another difficulty, as with a yellow sunset the 
necessary time would have to be increased. Possibly to a beginner the following 
table will be of first utility, the plate being of the rapid variety and the Ught good. 

Sea and sky 
Street scenes (open) 
Landscape (open) 
Landscape (heavy foliage) 

Outdoor portraiture 





Anything from 3 or 4 minutes 
to several hours, according to 
the amount of light. 
Same as open landscape. 

If this last table be worked in conjunction with the others, it will be fairly simple 
to make comparative exposures, taking the light as : — 

Bright sunshine . . . . i 

Cloudy bright . . . . 2 

Dull 3 

Gloomy . . . . . . 4 

As a rough guide, if the lens in the hand-camera has an aperture of f8, on a bright, 

sunshiny day, with a rapid plate — a street scene about midday in June will require 

i/50th of a second. The beginner can make all other calculations from this, as a 

basis. But his own results will tell him more in this direction than I can. 



This is rather a personal matter : every photographer is entitled to his own ideas, 
and, generally speaking, it is only after a long experience of trial and error that 
one learns to tell at a glance when the subject is properly developed for the 
particular purpose in mind. 

It is best to get this rather tedious business over during adolescence if possible, 
thus leaving the adult years free for selective rather than promiscuous experimental 
work. Fashion, of course, plays a paramount part, and a careful student of 
developments cannot fail to observe that ever}^ type has its period of popularity. 
It is customary to unload in the dark-room ; and one of the first things to remember 
is that, however safe the dark-room Ught appears to be, there is nothing to be 
gained by premature exposure. It is souna practice to work in the dark as long 
as possible : always be ^^j^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^ of red lights. 

Here are some fine examples of the good results that can be obtained by a discreet 
application of my " Land Development and Reclamation Scheme." There is not the 
slightest doubt in my mind that proper exposure under sunny conditions can do a great 
deal to eradicate troubles that are often quite wrongly attributed to faults in development. 



The older types of developers such as Indian Clubs, Night Clubs, Dumb-bells 
and the Sandow Course are gradually being superseded. New problems call for 
new techniques and I am very pleased to be able to report that several much less 
strenuous solutions have already been found. 


It will be better for the beginner to buy his solution ready prepared. There are 
various safe proprietary brands on the market, and the individual is well advised 
to find one that suits him and to persevere with it. After mixing the solution 
according to the directions on the packet the subject should be laid face upwards 
in the bath and gently rocked backwards and forwards . . . backwards and 
forwards . . . backwards and forwards. 


When removed from the solution, a white or milky appearance will be more or 
less visible — it is customary to describe this as the unacted-upon part of the silver 
bromide. Anyway, whatever it is, it is the purpose of the fixing solution to 
eliminate it. First wash thoroughly in water and then dip in h^^posulphate of soda 
(hypo for short). Up to this stage all the work has been done either in the dark 
or by the correct yellow or ruby light, but after fixing it is quite in order to pull 
the blinds up, although washing should continue for quite a long time. Beware 
of fog . . . too much soda in the bath or over-exposure are common causes. 


Very little can be done about really exuberant over-development, although, to 
some extent, its worst effects can be modified by local reduction. The choice of 
general reducing agents is varied ; Lord Byron (early photographer — Ed.) is said 
to have favoured saturation with carbonic acid and water, whilst at least one well 
known proprietary brand would seem primarily to be composed of a discreet 
mixture of Magnesium and Sodium Sulphate. Constant friction with a rubber 
roller or squeegee in the region of the affected part or parts has been known to 
give quite good results and the heat generated is sometimes sufficient to boil a 


kettle ... if you want to boil a kettle. As a general caution we would advise 
enthusiasts against using any brand of local reducing agent that is known to 
encourage worms as a by-product. 

Pig- 3 a;v# 

Fig. I 


Fig. 2 

Here you see alternative washing devices (i) The Rose Sprinkler, (2) The Washing 
Trough, (j) The Steps, Pipe and Barrel method. Of the three we definitely prefer the 
latter, since the same apparatus, can, in lieu of the Indian Rope Trick, be used to get 
the subject into the appropriate condition (position ? — Ed.) for Megascopic exposures 
(see illustration and details on page 61). 


We will avoid entering the controversy regarding what constitutes proper develop- 
ment — nowadays the standard on such matters would seem to be an arbitrary one, 
fixed from year to year by R.A.'s and corset manufacturers : sufficient to say that 

it was not always thus ! P. P. Rubens, a well known, if rather Flemish, photogra- 
pher who flourished round about the reign of Charles I, was a staunch supporter 
of Over-Development in subjects of all sexes. {See Pictures " Toilet of Venus" 
and " Hercules "). Whilst his contemporary Theolocopuli Domenico (surnamed 
El Greco) would seem to have favoured Under-Development to the point of 
skinnyness. As far as is known, the connoisseurs of the time — who are briefly 
referred to as " rakes and. libertines " in school history books — shared this^ 


^^ CO^^^ Too ^ .-t Q.^ ^ 

ort "J • 

a.g^'* '" 

One thing is certain — even experienced amateurs have difficulty in defining 
precisely, (i) what causes Under-Development ; (2) what constitutes Under- 
Development. Of the latter I can only say that I regard the whole thing as a 
matter of taste and when in doubt I use drapery, or soft focus, or both. The 
time may come when questions of this kind will be decided for us by an authori- 
tative body of scholarly experts sitting in dignified solitude in some remote city, 
such as Los Angeles . . . until that happy day it is chacun a son gout^ as they say 
over the water. 



As to what causes Under-Development, the answer is, simply . . . not enough 
developing ; and the best remedy is, of course, more development. I always 
warn pupils of mine against taking specious promises of the " You, too, can have 
a body like mine " genre too literally ; in my opinion vigorous physical exercise 
tends to produce knobs and bumps rather than flowing curves. It is my contention 
that the finest form of all round physical culture takes the form shown in the 
illustration on page 8, in which four old students of mine are initiating a new 
recruit. As you can see for yourself, the beginner is the rather meagre miss with 
her back to the camera ; the others have obviously been at it for years. 
If, in spite of all this, outdoor exercise is still preferred, a leisurely and decollete 
course of static-boating as practised by my second-year students on page 45 
often has excellent results ; although the rapt expression on the face of the oars- 
woman rowing rhythmically in half an inch of water with an oar sans blade is a 
sad indictment of the mental condition to which persistent exercises of this kind 
inevitably reduce one. 

1^^ ^ay^ ^^/i^oom/ 

It is a good idea to arrange for the Dark Room to be situated in a fairly inaccessible 
corner of the house : complete privacy is essential. The " Carlyle Cloak " 
mentioned in the chapter on Outdoor Photography can be adapted for indoor 
use, in conjunction with a tea chest and a kitchen table, as shown in Fig. i. 
All bottles should be clearly labelled Poison and, unless discreet collection can be 
arranged, when empty they should be broken up into small pieces and dropped 
down the sink. 

The Drying Cupboard should be large and roomy with plenty of space for 
plates, bottles, light snacks and, if possible, a small settee of the portable- 
collapsible type. Experienced photographers usually regard the Drying cupboard 
as a second bastion of defence and equip it to withstand at least a month's siege. 
There is no need to go into long details about Developing Trays— the writer 
can only say that he personally, prefers ones with white transparent bottoms, since 
their cleanliness can be more readily ascertained. Apart from usefulness in 
disposing of the empties a sink is regarded as practically a sine qua non for washing 






5 !« 
« I 

O 2 

2: ^ 











C) ^. 


a- 's 

I ^ 

a "* 













ft «> 



















































Only by biting away the corner of the apparatus 
(and the lobe of his right ear — Ed.) was I able to 
get this interesting view of a fellow enthusiast at 
work inside a domestic adaptation of the " Carlyle 

unless the method suggested by Wratton and Wainewright for using alcohol be 
employed. I have no sink. It has been found that a red or amber light is 
conducive to the best results, and I thoroughly agree wi± Captain Abney, 
R.E., F.R.S., etc., who, on page 14 of his book " Practical Working of the Gelatine 
Emulsion Process" says : "... For our own part we prefer light to come from 
" about the height of one's waist, since all operations can then be distinctly 
"seen. . . ." 

Another writer, Walter Welford, has some useful general hints in his little book 
" The Hand Camera Manual " ; on page 87 he says : "... If the room be a 
" small one it will be much better to have artificial light outside, as the close 
" atmosphere of a small room is certainly not conducive to health. Roughly 
" speaking the other requirements of a dark room are, a table, a receptacle for 
" water and a jug. But if a sink be available so much the better, as the inconveni- 
" ence of a pail will soon be discovered. Water direct from the tap is also a great 
" convenience, as it is frequently required. A shelf for bottles, etc., should 
" also be provided. ..." 

This is, of course, a Developing Tray or Bath : for 
those who like to splash about or play with cellu- 
loid ducks the larger model shoivn on page 4J is 
the only logical answer. 

The details of the procedure must be determined, to a large extent, by the 
individual photographer's preferences in the matter of toning bath and paper. 
Chloride of gold, in conjunction with other chemicals, is the most generally used 
toning agent, giving warm-black, red-brown and red tones ; whilst Platinimi 
and Uranium are sometimes used to give sepia tones. Chloride of Lime should 


A capacious bath is absolutely indispensable for photographic 
work. Practically everything needs washing , fixing , or soaking 
at some time or another and in an up-to-date bathroom like 
this all these processes become a pleasure. The fact that I 
happen not to like the wall-paper or the tattooing on the side 
of the main bath is mere cesthetic whimsey and certainly does 
not blind me to the many excellent and practical features of 
the plumbing : in any case, much of the processing is done 
either in the dark or by red lamp light. 


not be used as a substitute for Chloride of Gold, as, in addition to being useless 
for the purpose, it causes pimples and gradually dissolves the fingers. In my 
opinion the best paper for the beginner is the Gelatino-Chloride variety, on 
account of its easy manipulation and the range and tone of finish obtainable. 
The other papers can easily be tackled later on. The amateur could not do better 
than be guided by the detailed directions included with each packet of paper. 
According to the Hand Camera Manual : "... There are two main principles 
" adopted in which the operations differ. These are termed the Combined 
" Bath and the Separate Baths, and briefly, the operations may be tlius 
'' described : — 

Combined Bath. Separate Baths. 

Subject immersed without washing. Subject washed. 

Toned and Fixed at the same Toned, 

operation. Rinsed. 

Washed after Fixing. Fixed. 

Washed after Fixing. 

" The Combined Bath is certainly less work, and it is adopted by many. It is, 
" however, a little more tricky in its nature and is not so certain in result in a 
" beginner's hands." As a matter of interest, I would like to point out that the 
model shown in the illustration on page 47 is definitely not suitable for 
Combined Bathing ; and I don't think a great deal of the paper, either, having 
an old-fashioned preference for the grapes-crawling-up-a-trellis pattern. The 
Hand Camera Manual goes on to say that the subject is Toned (or Toned and 
Fixed) by immersion in the solution in the tray, which is kept in constant motion. 
They ..." must not stick together in the tray but be constantly changing 
" position by means of the fingers. They then receive a slight rinse in water 
" and go into the Fixing Bath, where they remain for about 15 to 20 minutes. 
" After thorough washing they are passed through a bath of Alum to harden 
" the film, and lastly dried." 


For ordinary mounting the subjects are taken out of the water and placed on a 
linen sheet, another sheet is placed on top and the hand rubbed firmly over the 


Although I have consistently advised the use of large and roomy baths — particularly 
for Combined Bath work, as detailed on page 48 — / cannot help remarking that this 
young enthusiast has gone a bit too Jar. Fishing about in roods and fathoms of water 
on the off-chance of finding a couple of half-plates is not my idea of photographic 
efficiency ; and why the young lady should look so pleased with herself for having 
found what looks suspiciously like a prawn, is really beyond my ken. A couple of 
hours at fi6 is what she needs ! 


top sheet ; this removes surplus moisture. They are then gathered together 
into a neat pile and laid face downwards on a sheet of clean paper. Then the 
Mounting Medium is applied and the print is rubbed down on to the mount 
with the hand, over a piece of blotting paper. If it is desired to dry mount they 
must not be placed between blotting paper, but laid on a piece of glass, cloth 
or paper, and left uncovered until dry. For the special surfaces a Squeegee is 
required. This consists of an indiarubber roller mounted with a wooden handle. 
A piece of vulcanite, enamelled iron (ferrotype) plate, or plate glass for the highly 
glazed surface ; and a fine ground glass or matt surface celluloid film for the 
matt or dead surface is also necessary. These must be carefully cleaned in warm 
water, polished with a soft silk handkerchief or wash-leather, and when dry dusted 
over with French Chalk (or Fuller's Earth — ? Ed.). When this is again dusted 
off, the subject is placed film down whilst wet upon either surface, a piece of 
blotting paper placed over it and the Squeegee applied vigorously. If left in a 
warm dry place they will strip off in a few hours. 

Generally speaking, negatives are darker than positives. But the whole subject 
is fraught with difficulty ; it is safer to say that most negatives are a prelude to 

Perhaps the most important difference 
between a negative and a positive is 
that a negative is denser in the parts 
where a positive isn't. Here we see the 
author using a negative to print down 
mural on the walls of the Chapel-qf- 
"ViiMsSife Ease at Stratford-le-Bow. 


a positive, indeed, persistence will usually turn the most obdurate negative into 
a positive, whilst some negatives seem automatically to turn positive during the 
final stages. 

When asked to give an opinion it is well to avoid being too definite . . . why 
why give others the benefit of your hard earned experience. The picture on 
page 59 is a case in point ; most critics said that the subject was obviously a 
negative — whereas I was able to affirm from my own experience that she was 
emphatically a positive. Some people spend a lifetime producing nothing but 
negatives — this shows a deplorable lack of versatility. 

It is sometimes possible to combine negatives and positives in the same picture. 
The Beach Scene ( this page), is a case in point ; here we have three positives 
(back row) one negative (front, left), and an indecisive (front, right). 

This example of combined positive- and-negative print was taken under rather 
trying circumstances and I regret to have to admit that the old school colours 
on my boating hat were observed by one of the subjects (rear, left) before the full 
exposure had been completed. 


It is perhaps significant that Louis Jacques Mande Daguerre, the first successful 
French exponent of Photography developed a positive process whilst his English 
contemporary, William Henry Fox Talbot, was concentrating on negatives. Never 
was the Gallic temperament better apostrophised. 

Blisters — If bhsters make their appearance it is probable, if the substratum be 
of albumen, that the solution is not sufficiently dilute. With some hinds of india- 
rubber blisters always appear. The practice of tacking prints on the wall with a 
coal hammer is another prolific cause of blisters. 

Transparent markings — may be caused by handling the subject with warm 
fingers before immersion in water previous to development. Handling with cold 
fingers has its own problems. 

A transparent edge — will be caused by allowing the whole length of the edge 
of the subject to rest on blotting paper when drying in the drying-box. The only 
consolation is that some subjects look better with transparent edges. 
A LACK OF DENSITY — is caused by the collodion being tpo thin, requiring more 
pyroxyline ; by an insufficient quantity of iodide ; by insufficient sensitizing in 
the bath ; or by too weak an alkahne developer. Keeping the subject at school 
until Matric has been passed can only be regarded as a secondary cause. 
Lines — may be caused by a stoppage in the wave of developing solution, by 
removing the subject in the drying-box previous to complete dessication, or by 
an uneven flow of preservative over the film. It is therefore a fallacy to assume 
that old-age and late nights are the only causes of this prevalent phenomenon. 
Black spots — on the film may be due to the india-rubber substratum, and to 
dust on the plate. They are sometimes due to indigestion^ in which case they do not 
remain stationary, but move slowly in an oblique direction. 

Transparent spots — may be met with when photographing near the sea. {See 
lace insertions in bathing costume of subject standing by portable dark room, on 
opp. page). They are probably due to the chloride of sodium which is held in 


Practically all the defects listed in the accompanying article are apparent in this photo- 
graph of models resting in and around my special " Beach Pattern " portable dark room 
— but I still like it. Which only goes to show that great Art will always out, in spite of 
or because of, common defects. 


suspension in the air. They rarely occur if the subject has been thoroughly dried 
finally by artificial heat a short time before exposure. Many students regard this 
drying-out process as one of the best things about seaside photography . 
Pinholes — may be caused by the solution of silver added to the developer 
dissolving out iodide from the film. If the preservative be not well filtered such 
defect may Hkewise occur. Blast pinholes ! If the preservative used for the 
dry plate contains any substance only slightly soluble in the former, but more 
readily in the latter, then the latter should be flowed over the subject and allowed 
thoroughly to permeate the surface. A good washing under the tap afterwards is 
then necessary. If the preservative contains nothing soluble by alcohol, water 
should be appHed in the first instance. Quite a lot of defects can be traced to the 
too exclusive application of alcohol, regardless of solubility. 

Whether spirits of wine or water be the agent used for softening the film, great 
care should be taken that there is no stoppage in the flow, otherwise markings in 
the negative may become apparent. (A dipping bath or a flat dish is useful when 
water is to be applied.) The preservative must in all cases be eliminated from the 
film as far as possible before development commences. 

This is a much abused science. Genuine experimental work should not be 
confused with the spurious carte postale school which debases ingenuity by purely 
objective repetition. Most of my own researches into this fascinating branch 
of the photographic art have been essentially subjective ; indeed, practically all 
my original discoveries have been the direct result of persistent attempts to 
translate personal whims and fancies into photographic reahties. 
Such an attitude is necessarily both a limitation and an inspiration. For instance, 
although my Aunt Letitia (mentioned vaguely in another connection in this book) 
has a face that in general mass has a striking resemblance to a Jersey cow, close 
scrutiny reveals that she hasn't got quite as much hair in quite the same places 
as the head of that noble and productive animal usually has. 
A realisation of this fact — bordering, I might say, on morbid fascination — prompted 

me to experiment and out of experiment was born this composite photograph 
in which, you will readily observe, the little differences between the two have been 

" Giving Nature a Helping Hand " is one of the most fascinat- 
ing/unctions of photo-montage work. Aunt Letitia, who had a 
predilection for wearing odd blue stockings and rapping my 
knuckles when young, was the unwitting inspiration for one of 
my finest efforts in this direction. For those who think this kind 
of thing is easy I have only one answer — you're quite right, it is ! 

To call the photograph " realistic " would be wrong, since it 
undoubtedly flatters Auntie ; but it is my sincere beUef (a belief supported by 
the opinions of many disinterested observers) that the visual impact of my photo- 
graphic reconstruction closely approximates the effect of my Aunt Letitia enpersonne 
on persons (pun — ? Ed.). Again I would stress that scientific curiosity and not 
a desire for mere reahsm was the prime factor in all my experiments. On yet 
another occasion I remember being goaded into transposing a portrait (head and 
no shoulders) of my cousin Joe from its legitimate, if rather uninspiring, position 
in the family group reproduced on page 51 on to the torso of the " Idle Apprentice " 
in one of his moist Hogarthian moments. This experiment was the occasion of 
considerable resentment — Cousin Joe having practically no scientific curiosity — 
and the negative was unfortunately broken : the reproduction on the next page 
was made from the print that caused all the trouble. 


To transport my cousin Joe into the midst of the gay little 
scene above — so redolent of happy holidays at seaside boarding 
houses — was a technical achievement of no mean order. I have 
not the slightest doubt that photo-montage will eventually oust 
all the cruder forms of blackmail. 


The technical procedure adopted in the two cases already cited is now too well 
known to need elucidation, but the next example is rather more compUcated. 

FAMILY PORTRAIT — In addition to being an outstanding example of classical com- 
position (based on the famous picture " Mountain Goats at Herne Bay," by Edwin 
Landseer) this photograph is also interesting as an experiment in remote control. 
The camera shutter was operated by an arrangement of wires, mirrors and gum arabic, 
a procedure of which Cousin Joe (rear, centre) strongly disapproved. 

Briefly, the problem was this : how to concoct suitable photographic evidence for 
an old school friend who was seeking a divorce. The whole experiment was 


rather delicate since the two parties most concerned — i.e., his wife and the intended 
co-respondent — ^had never been seen in each other's company ; and, indeed, had 
not, as far as was known, ever met. 

On the face of it this set-up would seem to present insuperable difficulties, but 
after studying the problem from all angles I evolved a plan which, with all due 
modesty, appears in retrospect to have had the unmistakable hallmark of photo- 
graphic genius. The stark simphcity of it was perhaps its most outstanding 
merit. I disguised myself as an itinerant exchanger of aspidestras for old trousers 
and armed with an amazing specimen of that domestic favourite and a convincing 
Une of sales talk I called at Mr. X's bachelor apartment : as was to be expected, 
he came to the door in his trousers, upon which I comphmented him heartily — 
meanwhile concealing the aspidestra under a voluminous black cloak. 
Struck, no doubt, by my enthusiastic admiration of his nether garment he shyly 
invited me to tea ; upon which I threw open my cloak, revealing both my aspidestra 
and the fact that / had no trousers on. And then, with what I have been told is 
my most engaging smUe, I offered him my aspidestra in exchange for his trousers : 
shivering to emphasise my necessity. Diffident at first, he gradually warmed to 
the idea and when I showed him what a touch of furniture polish did to the leaves 
he finally succumbed and took his trousers off. This was the moment I had been 
waiting for, and pressing the bulb of my camera (which, I forgot to mention, I had 
concealed in a large orange I was sucking), I secured a perfect photograph of 
Mr. X in delicto aspidestrum, and walked quietly away. 

I hesitate to bore the reader with even more technical details of how an appropriate 
picture of Mrs. Y was secured (for details see chapter on " The Keyhole Camera ") — 
suffice it to say that, ultimately, the case was successfully concluded in camera. 
As a matter of interest I am pleased to be able to report that the ex-Mrs. Y. was 
so impressed with my series of composite photographs, a mild example of which 
is shown on page 59, that she made exhaustive independent enquiries which soon 
blossomed into true love, and they married and lived ever after. • 


This is the composite '' Keyhole ''^photograph referred to in my 
brief technical sutnmary of the ' X and Y ' case. You will notice 
the slight obliquity — introduced to give a realistic air of any- 

^y^idne/i^neeaJ ^^^n. 

Some photographers, not content with exercising straightforward personal 
ingenuity, make a practice of employing all sorts of dubious technical gadgets, 
such as : Rumford's Photometer, Theodolites, Anamorphosis, Megascopes, 
Algebra, The Law of Diminishing Returns and Artificial Discrimination. Although 
some of the phenomena mentioned here are not essential to the beginner I thought 


it would be a good idea, in order that the reader may be aware of the kind of thing 
that is going on behind his (or her — Ed.) back, to include a few details of some 
of these pretentious devices. 

Amongst other things, this in- 
strument is sometimes used to 
prove that, when light is thrown 
on a dull subject (as in this 
book) the angle of ignorance is 
always equal to the angle of 
reflection. To use it purely as 
an anagram machine — as above 
— is hardly cricket. 

Firstly, we have Rumford's Photometer which is, as you can see, a complicated 
piece of paraphanalia based on the simple fact that if shadows thrown on the same 
screen by an opaque body illuminated by two different lights have the same 
intensity, the illuminating powers of the two lights are equal, if they are at the 
same distance from the screen, or are in inverse ratio of the squares of these 
distances, if they are at unequal distances. Next we come to the Theodolite, 
the principle of which is made only too clear in the accompanying illustration. 


This attractive little set up has 
all the naive charm of the Wims- 
hurst machine, without any of 
the shocking implications. It is 
fortunate that the principles it 
is supposed to demonstrate are 
so unimportant that the lecturer 
can soon get down to the more 
serious business of projecting 
double-headed rabbits on the 
screen — using only two fingers 
and a thumb. 


Anamorphosis is, as one would expect, the opposite to what happens to Butterflies 
when they emerge from the chrysaHs. 

The Megascope consists of a dark chamber used for the purpose of reproducing 
an object on a large scale. It would seem that models for this type of work are 
drawn almost exclusively from the Fakir class, since, in order to reach the posing- 
platform, a working knowledge of the Indian Rope-Trick is patently required. 

THE MEGASCOPE. -This instrument has the happy knack of turning a subject 
upside down without disturbing the drapery. For those who hate the usual tomboy 
tricks of the studio and prefer to work quietly in the dark, what could be nicer ? 


It is refreshing, after all the foregoing examples of misapplied ingenuity, to get 
right back to a few modestly practical ideas of my own ; ideas, I may say, in which 
the brain, rather than complicated paraphanalia, is the motor force. As a demon- 
stration of the way in which quite simple means can be utilized to attain worthy 
ends I refer the reader to the illustration on page 62, which shows a lively scene 
at a The Dansant taken through the glass bottom of a pewter pot : if I remember 
rightly the pot contained about half a litre of old-and-bock at the time. 


Photograph of a The Dansant 
taken through the bottom of a 
pewter tankard. 

GRAPHY. An exciting climax 
caught by the camera at Mask 
. . . (pardon !) a well-known il- 


This branch of photographic endeavour calls for nimble fingers and a watchful 
eye : with these attributes, a hand-camera, and the co-operation of the manage- 
ment almost anyone can take pictures which recall with dramatic intensity those 
never-to-be-forgotten moments of vaudeville, burlesque, symphony concerts and 
real Hfe. I can honestly say that my shot of " Sawing the Lady in Half " has 
done as much as anything else to put this exhilarating pastime on the map. {See 
chapter " Moving Objects"). 


This aberration has not, as is commonly supposed, anything to do with Buddhism ; 
but on the now established principle that " Boy Bites Dog " is news, whereas 
" Dog Bites Boy " is not, one is surely entitled to take a few pictorial liberties. It 
is partly because Transposed-Subject photography is to some extent indicative 
of the new spirit of healthy scepticism, that is sweeping through the darkrooms of 
to-day, and pardy because it isn't, that I propose to deal with it at some length. 
Who has not, in moments of searing vision, ennui, or pique, itched to upset — even 
if only pictorially— some of the humdrum, estabhshed situations of History, 
Science, Art, Entymology and Domestic Relations ? For instance, one cannot 
fail to get a httle blase about " Pharaoh's Daughter Finding Moses in the 
Bulrushes " . . .so why not reverse the situation and introduce new trains 
of thought by portraying " Moses Finding Pharaoh's Daughter " in similarly 
wild surroundings, as I have done in my photopicture on page 65. 
Naturally, one sometimes makes mistakes ! . . . and although at first I considered 
" Two Bicycle Maids " {see photograph on page 64) to be ethically superior to a 
" Bicycle Made for Two," I was quick to agree with critics who pointed out that 
a young woman brazen enough to smoke — even on a bicycle and in the comparative 
seclusion of a wood — was more likely to be a hussey than a maid. However, the 
truly enthusiastic photographer soon learns to take bloomers of this sort in his 


TRANSPOSITION .—Yet another vivid example of this fascinating art. My " Two 
Bicycle Maids " has a purer, sweeter significance than " A Bicycle Made for Two " 
could ever have. ;^El^^A§fiflPS£I^^K^«^'ll^^^lli?^''''^'^^K'Vv ^ 'f 


TRANSPOSITION.— Here we have a clever variation of a hackneyed theme. My 
photopicture " Moses Finding Pharaoh's Daughter in the Bulrushes " is such an obvious 
improvement on the original that it would be pointless to dwell on it . . . or would it ? 



From ships-in-bottles to people-m-bou\ts is but a short step to the enterprising 
photographer. From the first it is well to reahse that some subjects are bottled 
more easily than others ; careful initial choice can obviate a lot of useless effort. 
The following illustrations serve better than a spate of words to explain what I 
mean. In the top piaure the subject is easily and comfortably accommodated 
by quite an ordinary type of bottle and she looks relaxed and pleased with both 
herself and her surroundings ; whereas, in the bottom right-hand picture, despite 
a certain attitude of defiance and a rather unusually shaped bottle, the subject is 
obviously ill at ease and bursting to escape from it all. The other little girl looks 
happy enough, but the bottle she is in cost more money than, in my opinion, the 
result was worth. In conclusion I would suggest that subjects for bottling should 
be acquired nett (top), rather than gross (bottom, right). 


There are some would-be purists who assert that the addition of colour to mono- 
chrome prints is both unnecessary and inartistic. With this dictum no right- 
thinking photographer can possibly agree : unnecessary, perhaps ! . . . inartistic, 
NEVER ! What could be more attractive than a nicely coloured-up print of some 
loved one ... or a happy family group ... or something ? Who, indeed, 
has not been struck at some time or another with a feeling of acute frustration 
when, in the course of a pleasant country ramble, armed only with a camera and 
a stand, one is confronted with some colourful and picturesque scenes such as I 
have recorded on pages 80 and 81. 

No, I regret to have to say it, but the Anti-Colouring-Up Campaign that has 
swept through the photographic fraternity like a blight is nothing more or less 
than a vile attempt by vested interests — represented by a handful of unscrupulous 
R.A.'s — to confine the monopoly of the manufacture of coloured pictures to a 
small, privileged group. Photographers and the public generally would do well 
to ignore such obviously biased and defamatory criticism as is so assiduously 
fostered by this unprincipled and self-seeking minority. 

Examples of " Bottling," the fascinating possibilities of which have recently set the 
photographic world agog. For detailed comment the reader is referred to page 66 of 
this book and the Ency. Britt. 


I will say most definitely that anybody — yes, anybody — who is capable of using 
his (or her—? Ed.) eyes and of making a few pencilled notes can decorate an 
ordinary photograph so effectively that it is quite worthy to rank, in artistic value, 
with the over-puffed productions of professional contemporary painters. The 
procedure is roughly as follows : First choose a scene the composition of which 
is completely in accord with one's finer feehngs and the teachings of Mr. Ruskin, 
and proceed to photograph it in the usual manner. Then remove, develop and 
fix the plate in a Portable Collapsible Bag Tent (U.C.E.) of the type shown 
in the accompanying illustration. 

The fact that the uninitiated never know, and find 
it difficult to guess, what is going on inside the 
Bag-Tent, has led — we are sorry to say — to its 
widespread abuse. Dilletante photographers often 
impose on the credulous public and make a positive, 
if somewhat negative, nuisance of themselves by 
producing nothing but white rabbits and yards of 
coloured ribbon from its capacious depths. 

This ingenuous adaptation of the Carlyle Cloak (for a description of which see 
section on Outdoor Photography), is specifically designed to enable the operator, 
whilst processing the plate, to peer from time to time at the scenery, etc., and 
thus facilitate the memorising of the various colours. Incidentally, the hands 
may be removed at will from the Bag Tent to enable brief notes regarding the 
colour to be jotted down on the washable celluloid cuffs and dickey without which 
the well-trained male photographer is seldom to be found. I will not presume 
to make suggestions to the ladies regarding appropriate places where they could 
jot down their notes. 


A word of warning ! Never, when using the cuff-and-dickey method, use indehble 
pencil or ink : if a permanent record is essential it is far more conducive to 
domestic harmony if ±e notes are written hghtly in pencil and transcribed into 
a suitable notebook on arrival at tlie studio. To give you the idea here is a facsimile 
of the original colour notes for my Salon Diploma- Winner, entitled " Les Land 
Girls " {see page 43). 

As you will observe, certain irrelevant scientific data 
appertaining to other studies happened to be already on the cuflfs, but I took the 
precaution of crossing this out first, having been foxed on previous occasions by 
cryptic phrases such as ... " Any to come 5/- each way rechning figure with 
" red dress and red bonnet "... which misled me into losing ten shiUings on 
a horse called Red Riding Hood. 


By this time the plate is usually dry enough to be taken away and printed down 
in the normal way. A matt surfaced paper is the best for colouring as this will 
take almost any water, oil or spirit bound pigment without cockhng, peehng, 
stretching, or shrinking excessively ; needless to say, a little of all these quahties 
is a good thing, as they tend to impart that rugged hand-done appearance . so 
beloved of the coimoisseur. 

THE ODIFEROUS-OIL PROCESS.— ' Composition in Smells " is indeed an art in 
itself. Only after years of almost suffocating experiment was J able to achieve the 
mastery that was so apparent in my original photopainting entitled " Warm wether is 
on the whey." Here the characteristic odours of cow, goat, chicken and ducks were 
offset with just a touch of Jasmine, asafcetida and Icelandic Stoat to produce the 
haunting blend that was noticed by practically everyone without a cold at the crowded 
opening of last yearns Salon. Unfortunately, the peculiar smell of this monochrome 
reproduction gives you no idea at all of the original. 



LANTERN SLIDES.— Success on this 
bye-way of the photographic art comes 
only after much experiment and prac- 
tice. The two little ladies above would 
seem to be doing well enough — but 
wait until they get on the slope. The 
younger lad on the left has come a 
purler right at the start. 


The type of colour used is a matter of individual preference — there are several 
brands of ready prepared Photo Tinting Liquids on the market, and I expect 
that most beginners will prefer to use one of these. For those who are a Uttle 
more ambitious I would suggest the use of oil colours as these have more body and 
can be made to stand up in ridges just like real oil paintings. Another httle 
discovery of mine (which had not previously occurred, even to Mr. Rimmel) is 
that if the pigments used are mixed with pleasantly odiferous media — such as 
lavender oil, frankincense or myrrh — the pictures can be made to smell like 
herbaceous borders, or an Old English Garden. 

Critics have often remarked that my pictures smell, although, in their ignorance, 
they never seem able to identify' any particular smell. Simply to say " Mr. So- 
and-so's pictures smell " is not enough . . . more precise information is required : 
to be told that the female figures in my photo-painting, entitled " Warm Wether 
is on the Whey " smell of jasmine behind the ears and seaweed in the corsage 
does help individuals who have not had an opportunity of appreciating the original 
to get more pleasure out of a mere reproduction, which, even if it does smeU, 
certainly does not smell in the same way. For examples of the purely visual 
excellence that can be achieved by the oil-paint technique, the reader is referred 
to the series of pictures starting on page 80, entitled " Hot Feat." 
To quote again from Mr. Welford's interesting book — the Hand-Camera Manual 
— " One of the most attractive uses to which hand-camera shots can be put, is 
" that of making lantern slides. By this means we can interest our friends and 
" show them the results of our last holiday trip. (All of them ? — Ed.) 
" There are two distinct methods of production, one by reduction in the camera 
" and the other by what is termed contact printing. As the former is used 
" principally for the larger size negatives, I need only describe the latter. Special 
" lantern plates are required. The negative is placed in an ordinary printing 
" frame, and in the dark-room the lantern plate is put film to film with the negative 
" and the back inserted. Exposure to artificial fight is then made and the plate 
" developed and finished just the same as a negative. 

" The result is, of course, a positive print on glass. When dry, a suitable mask 
" is selected, a covering or protective piece of glass placed over it, and the two 
" bound together by sfips of paper which are sold ready gummed for the purpose." 


Never use oil colours for colouring-up lantern slides as the heat of the lamp 
makes the paint run and the resultant enlarged image bears even less resemblance 
than usual to the description given by the harassed lecturer. As a specimen of 
what can be done we show the decorative effect achieved by two Httle ladies 
setting out on their first unattended lantern shde ... in this example the features 
are pleasant enough not to require a mask. For further examples see Appendix ''A." 

^tf//e ^i^J^aydJ 

Whether one uses the word rude in the archaic sense of primitive, simple, unsophisti- 
cated, in natural state rugged, uimproved, uncivilised, uneducated, roughly 
made, coarse, artless, or wanting subtlety — or whether one does not — 
it is still an undisputed fact that as a means of producing Rude Postcards, 
the art of photography is on the up. That being so I propose to give a few hints 
to the beginner to enable him (or her — Ed.), to avoid the usual pitfalls. 
Firstly, as in painting, it is not a good thing to model one's rudeness too much 
on the French School . . . there is a dehcate je ne sais quoi about the Gallic 
approach that drives the Sturdy British PubUc right into any odd corner when 
confronted with a pictorial sample. This sort of solitary ecstasy is against all the 
principles of ethics and mass production, and is of dubious educational value. 
The same general criticism applies to the German, Flemish, Italian, Middle- 
Eastern and Far-Eastern Schools. 

No, the only legitimate approach to the problem is to delve right down into the 
sub-conscious, if necessary until it hurts, until an idea is bom ; for in Rude 
Postcards the idea is the thing, technique is an altogether secondary consideration. 
Fortunately it is only necessary to do this once. Armed with the right kind of 
idea the veriest tyro can produce dozens of saleable variations, which, in conjunc- 
tion with interchangeable captions, can be magnified by permutation and 
combination into thousands. 


Take the simple idea expressed by the accompanying series : Whilst quietly 
philosophising in the coal-hole a student has his (or her — Ed.) thoughts and vista 
of the outside world rudely interrupted by a foreign body. Note that expression 
rudely ; it is the operative sentiment and conditions the whole idea, although it 
is the precise nature of the interrupting body that provides the delicate nuances 
of the variations. Actually the body need not be foreign, although I have usually 
found that the situation has an added piquancy if it is. Naturally, there are other 
approaches to the problem, but I can only say that my best Rude-Postcard work 
has been produced in strict accordance with the above method {Miss Kellard may 
know others — Ed.) 

^e^'f/s ^ Me &l^yo€/cee^^ ^^^yoeedded 

Even the few knowledgeable writers on this subject have fallen into the rather 
tedious habit of handing out a lot of prehminary guff about bees and pollen. One 
could almost go so far as to say that many a growing lad (or lassie — Ed.) has had 
his (or her — Ed.) enthusiasm nipped brusquely in the bud by such evasive tactics. 
I propose to dispense with both bees and pollen — and, indeed, any other red 
herrings — and get right down to bedrock. 


The primary aim is to speed up reproduction so that everybody who wants one 
can have ope. It is erroneous to assume that a reproduction must of necessity 
be a facsimile of something : modern photo-eugenical reproduction sets out to 
improve upon the originals. 


Print from the YELLOW plate. 

Print from the RED plate. 

Print from the BLUE plate. 

The final print in full colour. 


Thoroughly to analyse the various Reproductive Processes is beyond the scope 
of a purely introductory article of this kind ; I will therefore concentrate on 
broad principles rather than sordid detail. 

Briefly, the procedure is as follows : either (i) the original is photographed down 
on to a suitable printing surface and etched into rehef or intagho, or (2) the original 
is photographed down on to a suitable printing surface and not etched into rehef 
or intaglio. 

For example, this book was produced by a special apphcation of the latter principle 
called Photo-Lithography after a man named Alois Senefelder, who wrote down 
his greasy washing hst on a piece of limestone. Apart from the faa that washing 
Hsts are now usuaDy written on the backs of envelopes the process used to-day is 
very similar. 


Despite my remarks anent simihtude there is one branch of reproduction in which 
a certain resemblance to the original is almost a social duty. I refer, of course, to 
colour reproduction. If the originals are, for instance, a sort of yellowish-pink, 
and the reproduction turns out to be a strong chocolate-brown, there is bound 
to be a lot of local disillusionment and tittle-tattle. For the purpose of repro- 
duction the primary colours are regarded as being Red, Yellow, Blue and Black — 
not Red, White, and Blue, as is commonly supposed. (N.B. — Printers are the 
only section of the community to call black a colour.) The colours are usually 
printed one at a time and compound colours are made by putting the different 
colours on top of, or very close to, each other — in the same manner as when 
cheating at Patience. 

One way in which this might happen is shown on page 76 (Figs, i, 2, 3, 4), whilst 
the series of coloured Continuous Sequence Photographs entitled " Hot Feat " 
{see Appendix " A ") is a good example of the heights to which Photo-Mechanical 
Colour Reproduction can rise when in the hands of an expert. 


Although there is no actual Registrar of Inks and Colours (yet ! — Ed.), registra- 
tion is essential. Reproduction without registration has been frowned on for 
years in the Western World, although it is still encouraged by certain carefree 
tribes in Bloomsbury and the Upper Congo. The illustration in Appendix " F " 
is a disgusting example of reproduction practised without the slightest regard for 
registration : one has only to compare it with the legitimate examples on page 80 
to see where the difference lies. 

In conclusion I would advise beginners to leave reproduction to iht experts, for, 
unless one is constantly aware of a definite urge towards that sort of thing, one 
soon finds that more time is being spent in worrying about details, errors of 
omission and commission, and other irritating factors, than can be spared from 
more exciting photographic pursuits. 





I regard this charmingly idyllic sequence as the Photographer's answer to the 
spasmodic efforts of the new fangled Bioscopists. There is no flickering light or 
jerking movements to worry the eyes and unduly excite the senses ; and each 
incident can be carefully examined with the leisurely detachment of the student — 
and in broad daylight, too. Lest it should be thought that the foregoing remarks 
are prompted by a narrow professional partisanship I hasten to qualify my dislike 
on ethical gfounds : 

In my opinion the Bioscope, or Biograph as its sponsors grandiosely call it, clearly 
represents a vicious attempt to prostitute Art by latently pandering to the low 
human instinct for gregariousness, even to the extent of downright promiscuity 


In " Hot Feat " the plot is simple and direct with no eternal triangles or vicious 
circles of any kind. The moral is deftly pointed and the colour adds a convincing 
realism that is vaguely reminiscent of Tintoretto at his best. 
The reader will doubtless find it difficult to believe that the basic photographic 
portions of these superb oil-photo-paintings were taken with an exposure of only 
one twenty-fourth of a second and an aperture of f8. 


In this rather ambitious series of pre natal prints it was my intention to present 
a vivid, visual record of what goes on in the mind of a young student before she 
does her homework. I would like to take this opportunity of thanking the model — 
Miss Ophelia Hare-Rhys — for her wholehearted co-operation ; a co-operation 
without which my intentions could certainly not have been realised. 
The outstanding success of this scientific analysis has been generously recognised 
by most of the leading psychologists of the day, and I have been so inundated 
with requests for sets of prints, from every conceivable seat of learning, that I am 
seriously considering taking advertising space in some of the more abstruse 
scientific journals. A hint that five shillingsworth of stamps should be enclosed 
with every request, combined with a definite promise that plain envelopes only 
will be used, will, I think ensure that applications are limited to bona fide students. 

Special Notice. 

For Lecturing and other educational purposes, both " Hot Feat " and " Don't be 
a Freud ; have a look Alice ! " are obtainable in the form of lantern slides. When 
ordering please state age next birthday. 


(i) " Oh dear, how our 
poor old feet do burn 1 " 

(2) " Look Emma, there's 
a spangle-bottomed 
beaver hiding in the 

(3) ''Ah, that's better, 
girls — come in before the 
water boils.'* 


jjl (4) "Such gaiety! The 
others will never believe 
us when we tell them." 

(5) " Good gracious ! And 
you called him a spangle- 
bottomed beaver." 

(6) " How I wish we'd 
used Blanks Anti-Foot- 
bum Ointment instead." 


(i) " Oh dear, how I hate Algebra 

(2) . . . and Geometry 

(j) . . . and History 

(4) . . . and Emancipation . . . 

(j) ... and standing in horse buses ... (8) . . . and Economics 

(9) . . . and Literature . 

(lo) . . . and Latin roots 

(ii) . . . and Gardening 

(12) . . . and Cube roots 

(i3) . • • and Aero-dynamics . . . 

(14) . . . and Aspidistras 

(15) . . . and Woollen underwear 

(16) . . . and Eurythmics 

(ij) ... and Woollen underwear 

(i8) . . . and Malthus 

(19) . . . and Entymology . . . 

(20) . . . and Spelling 

(23) - • . and Cooking 

(24) . . . and Chemistry 


(2S) • . . and Nature Study 

(26) . . . and Boyle's Law 

(27) ... and Geology . 

(28J . . . and Ballistics 

(29) • • • and the Binomial Theorem 

(jo) . . . and Ballet 

(jij . . . and Elastic-sided boots 

(j2) . . . and Woollen underwear 

y^/j^e^^f^ ^ 



All art is relative, but relatives are seldom art. My Aunt Letitia is a case in 
point : she has a face that terrifies children under twelve, and tradesmen. The 
latter quality is useful, but you have to live with Aunt Letitia to get the benefit 
of it : this is unfortunate. Indiarubber is the salvation of Amateur Art, but 
rubbing-out should not be indulged in except under the direct supervision of an 
Art master. If you can't get a thing where you want it first time, keep trying on 
separate pieces of paper. 

Great Moderns have been known to draw with burnt match-sticks on the table- 
cloths in restaurants ; others, under the stress of conflicting emotion, draw on 
walls in gouache, tempera, charcoal, silver point, pin point and pencil stub. 
Waiters are unhappy people. To refer to " Hercules Leaning on Club " (see 
picture on page 42) as " all knobs and bumps " is the height of ignorance — if, 
after drawing it forty-seven times, you still lack a feeling for form it is because 
{a) you are naturally plump, or ih) you had the foresight to bring a cushion. 
Landseer, G. F. Watts, and a German painter whose name I can't remember, are 
all great artists — cultured business men bought thousands of their works and 
gave them to provincial galleries. " The Dobbses are the Medici of the nineteenth 
century," writes a contemporary critic . . . but I think that Marx is right when 
he says the Borgias are to blame. Art is a great leveller ; it brings the public down 
to the level of its most successful exponents. 

Drawing as a means of self-expression is better than fretwork, because it is more 
difficult to put drawings round clocks. To half-close the eyes when looking at 
a picture is to be a connoisseur — completely to close the eyes when looking at a 
picture is rude. Any picture is pornographic that has hairs on . . . except 
Landseer. Blotting paper, rolled up tightly into a pointed cylinder, tones up 
flabby muscles and reduces observation to a formula. 

To copy a photograph at all requires infinite patience ; to copy a photograph so 
exactly that it is difficult, without a magnifying glass, to tell the copy from the 


Following the lead of my brothers-in-art I was persuaded to call this Salon Exhibit 
" No. i^." The critics simply loved it, and, exercising ineffable ingenuity, countered 
by giving it Balham-wide publicity as ". . . That brilliant example of modern photo- 
graphic art . . . dramatising, as it does, a whole vivid chapter of British History . . . 
will, we are certain, go right down to posterity. . . . No. 196 or ' Canute had a word 
for it, too ' is undoubtedly a mast^piece of the first magnitude.^* 

original is Art. To have studied from the Life is to have lived dangerously ; 
girls who sit astride are emancipated. Pimples are nature's revenge for being 
emancipated. Emancipation and emaciation are not necessarily the same thing. 
Popular Art is very shiny ; this is so that finger marks can be washed off. If 
Art isn't shiny {a) it isn't art, or {h) it isn't popular. Photographs are not Art 
unless they are out of focus. There are some ignorant people who can't tell 
fig-leaves from acanthus leaves. Statues without fig-leaves tend to be porno- 
graphic . . . except Landseer. 

A feeling for drapery is invaluable in a sculptor, painter, or photographer. Etty 
would have made more money if he'd had more of it. Parts of the human body 
are beautiful, others are merely functional. Paris capitahzes a low liking for 


detail. The Greeks had no sense of propriety, but to blame them for it would 
be priggish because they had no penny post either. 

To express an admiration for antiquity is normal ; to know anything about it 
is to be boring. We live in an essentially moral age. Once the Church was Art's 
greatest patron ; now soap is. Cleanliness and Godliness clasp hands across 
the centuries ..." Bubbles " symboUzes The Church Triumphant. 
All great Art can be useful . . . this is not a wilde statement, young men hke 
Bernard Shaw think so, too. Kiphng was right when he said . . . : 
" Creation's cry goes up on high 

From age to cheated age : 
' Send us the men who do the work 

For which they draw the wage ' . . ." 
Kipling is always right. To quote is a sign of erudition ; books of quotations are 
very popular. 

To know the name of a picture is more important than knowing what the artist 
is after ; there is a deplorable tendency amongst some modern artists to give 
their pictures irrelevant names, or, worse still, to give them numbers instead of 
names. This shows a lack of inventiveness and puts yet another burden on the 
art critic ; naming the picture is a good critic's first job. Many of them are 
very good at it. 

Uncle Albert's Patent Distorting Mirror (obtain- 
able, price IS. gd., from all the leading Art Em- 
poriums) is invaluable to those Pure-Art students 
who do not possess the natural obliquity of vision 
so necessary in successful modern practice. 


Whistler is a great offender ; you don't know, without going to the trouble of 
looking at it, whether " A Study in Grey and Silver " is a review of the House- 
hold Troops in Hyde Park, or a portrait of his mother. This sort of thing should be 
stopped in the interests of popular education. Pictures without names can never 
be popular. A nice glossy picture with a richly descriptive title makes a good 
supplement to any periodical. Blatent advertising is when you Can read the 
name on the packet. This is carrying things too far — like putting bladders with 
words in coming out of angels' mouths. 

Patriotic pictures shine up well, but it is better to go back to Agincourt, or further. 
Otherwise you end up with a canvas full of red coats and brown heathen and the 
whole thing looks very uneven. Borrowed armour should never be dented, and 
when painting " King Charles I Saying Farewell to His Children," don't forget 
the lace collars and the highlights on the curls. Save your studies in case you 
have the luck to get a commission for a " Blind Boy." Don't try to run before 
you can walk, but remember, you'll never really get anywhere until you have 
combined twelve square yards of canvas and a hundredweight of plaster-and-gilt 
in one picture. 

Businessmen like value for money. Love and painting don't mix. No true 
artist ever loved anybody . , . except Landseer. La Vie de Boheme makes good 
reading and opera but, unless you have the digestion of a Spanish fly and the 
scrounging versatility of a Neapolitan urchin, leave it at that. When writing home 
for mon'ey don't mention money or Art . . . talk about " Success being round the 
corner," " Bottecelli's early struggles," and how you miss mother's cake and the 
old faces. If this doesn't work enclose cuttings from financial papers and underline 
rising markets in red ink — this shows potential business acumen of a high order. 
If you can do a line about a once famous musical comedy star of thirty years back 
dying in a garret . . . with glimpses of a faded beauty fit with a drink-dazed 
smile . , . the lights . . . the music . . . the applause . . . and now this . . . 
If you can do a line like this, do it ; it's a winner, only make it sordid, or the old 
man may decide to come and attend to the matter himself ; conscience is a fickle 
If all else fails buy a plaster skull, place it on a square of black velvet for emphasis. 

Students and models relaxing at the Annual Photographic Soiree, recently held at the 
Albert Hall. Highly technical meetings of this kind provide an invaluable link between 
the photographer and the model — serving, in a large measure, to break down barriers 
of reserve built up during working hours. 


and concentrate on getting to look like it. Before coma sets in leave a brave note 
blaming nobody but yourself, turn the gas on in the next room, and drop an 
aspidestra on the concierge's head. Use French phrases in the note — it shows 
you've got a Gallic soul. Remember, the average concierge takes fifteen minutes 
to get up five flights of stairs ; if the aspidestra was a large one it may take him 
a week. But this should only be used as a last resort and should not be necessary 
if you move in the Right Circle. 

Finding the Right Circle to move in is an artist's first duty. It took 
Rossetti to turn Giotto's "O" into a circle. Never move in 'anything but a 
Circle, it isn't fashionable and, besides' there's an unangular completeness about 
a Circle ±at Polygons haven't got. Moving in Circles has all the fluid excitement 
of Intelligent Discussion ; one knows that, sooner or later, and as inevitably as 
possible, one will get back to the point from which one started. 
The main thing is to have a few people in the Circle from whom one can pick up 
a little money every time one passes. Opportunism is the soul of la vie artistique . . . 
Montmartre puts a French polish on opportunism. 

In Paris a little loose-living is expected, but don't overdo it. Some artists are 
too loose even for Lautrec. Discretion may be the bitter part of squalor, but 
without it one's squalor can easily make assommoir. 

All the best puns are laboured. Work is man's most dignified pursuit next to 
painting— Pord Madox Brown recognised this. My great aunt Ophelia made 
seventeen hundred and eighty-three studies from a secondhand plaster cast of 
Apollo strumming his lyre ; no one knows why she did this. She died a spinster, 
although she lost caste through studying too long under an energetic, but not 
very good, painter. 

Never suck your brush when doing water-colours ; most water-colours are 
poisonous. To tell whether a water-colour is poisonous, half close the eyes. 
Never suck your brush when using oil-colours, it is difficult to get the paint off 
the teeth. Aunt Ophelia always said that the reason why her teeth dropped out 
when she was nineteen was because of a misunderstanding — her art master did 
not say " arrange the colours on your palate before commencing to paint." Art 
is a jealous mistress. To tell whether an oil painting is poisonous, half close 


the eyes. 


S^j^^nr/c^ (7 


Mighty Niagara has already been harnessed to industry . . . the Transatlantic 
Cable has for years Hnked continents . . . and of these facts the Great British 
Public would seem to be both cognisant and appreciative. Is it not then surprising 
that a scientific discovery of mine — a discovery which will, I humbly prophesy, 
upset, within a very short space of time, most of our existing notions of Mechanics, 
Dynamics, Ballistics and Eurythmics — should remain practically unrecognised by 
contemporary (and if I may say so, selj styled) leaders of scientific thought. 
But perhaps I am not being deliberately cold-shouldered ; perhaps it is the sheer 
magnitude of my discoveries that makes its realization, even by experts, difficult. 
Who, indeed, would beHeve it possible that from the modest beginnings illus- 
trated in Fig. I, when, grasping a single Dotted-Line in my teeth I bounced an 
indiarubber ball on one end whilst hfting a sturdy letter A with the otlier, such 
amazing feats as those pictured in Figs. 2, 3, 4 and 5 could have developed. I 
suppose that, under the circumstances, even the Royal Society might be forgiven 
for being a little incredulous. 

As is not infrequently the case the true direction of my endeavours was determined 
by chance rather than by rigid intention and it was not until I had broken three 
sets of teeth that I discarded this method. Changing the fulcrum to the top of 

Fig. I. 


Fig. 2. 


my forehead it was not long before I was able to lift a steel-rule, two M's, two 
arrows, a P and a Q ; using a radial arrangement of Dotted-Lines, as shown 
in Fig. 2. 

I next removed the fulcrum to the left eyeball, and using a heavily tasselled 
smoking-cap as a counter balance I raised two cigarette cards horizontally in the 
air with hardly any strain at all on the neck. This is shown in Fig. 3 (the angular 
piece of tin merely serving to keep the sun out of my eyes). 

Fired by the success of the preceding experiments I next used the right eyeball 
to project a series of Dotted-Lines through a glass prism and thus cut a lighted 
candle in half at three feet ; the energy released being sufficient'to ignite the lower 

half almost immediately after decapitation. Notice the tensely suggestive attitude 

of the left hand in Fig. 4. 

Even after these impressive examples. Fig. 5 comes as rather a shock— here, with 

the bridge of the nose as a fulcrum, we have no less than seven snooker balls, 

two biUiard cues and a miscellaneous assortment of letters and figures supported 

on as complicated a system of Dotted-Lines as one could wish for. 

Who can resist a slight feeling of " Apres ca, le deluge " ? 

Fig. 5- 

^yy^^^Mi^ /) 


(Removed by Order of the Trustees.) 








f^ %^ 










^^ J 










^^M tr.