Works; containing Plain-dealer, Country-wife, Gentleman-dancing-master [and] Love in a wood

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HE LIBRARY.

.C.ooijlc

fi«^ , b -i-iY

BOOKS fehl hy Richard Wellington, at the Dol-
phin anti Crown in St. Paul** Church-TarJ,

IFeini'ts, or Love mi Doty Reconcil'd, a Novel , vrtit tj
Mr. Cmgreot, Price Eighteen Fence ; printed to bind wita
his Plays in eithei Volumes.

The Ltverf Stertt»ry, or the Adventnres of Undtnair; ■ I^dy
of Quility ; written to her Friend in the Country, difcovering
all her Intrigues from Fifteen Years to Fifty, in 54 I^tert 1
Price 3 /.

the Art §f flti^t^ i» Crnvtrfatitn ; writ by Cardinal RleUitm^
trench and ExgliPt, for .the Curious in either Language, on thele
following Heads, viz- That one may be Civil without being
Formal. 3. Of Polite Language, and the Manner of telling a
Story. 3. Of the Conveifation of Ladies,. and how &rwe may
be allowed to flatter them. 4. Of decent Behaviour at Table*.
$. Againft great Talkers. 6. That it is impoffible for a Lyar to
pleafe in Converfation. 7. That a Detra&or pleafes only envi-
ous and malicious Pcrfons. 8. What Care Ihcmld be taien in
Railleiy. g- Of winy Sayings and Repartees. 10. How&rwe
may reprehend in Converfation. 11. Of the Air rcquiflta in
Converfation. ti. That to pleafe in Converfation, a Man mnft
be Mafter of his Humour. 13. Thatoncmuft Aieak reverencly
of Holy Things. 14. That one Ihoold di£courfe of State Af>
lairs with great Rcfervednefs. i;. After what Manner we ihould
tell News. Price it. 6d.

£/wKffmir Abridg'd, oracompleatSyfiem of theThcory, and
Fraftice of Phyfick, being a Defcription of the Difeafes aiBiSing
Humane Bodies ; with an Account of their Symptomi, Caufes,
and Cure; Price fi/.

The whole Works of that Execeljent, Praflical Phyfidan,
'DT:Thtm»t S)tdnih»m, whereing the HiAory and Cures of acute
Difeafes are treated of after a new and accurate Method ; but al-
fo the fhoneft and fafeft Way of curing moft Chronical Difcafcf,
The Fifth Edition correfted by J. Pieb^, M. D. Price j s.

Of the Power and Influence of the Sun and Moon on Ha-
Biane Bodies ; and of the Difealcs that rife ftom thence, by Riehard
MtsJ, Or. of Fhyfick, and Phyliciin in Ordinary to St. Tim»i's
HnCpital; Price a/.

Familiar Letters writ by John late Earl of Rubtflir, to the Ho-
nourable Hemy Savili, Efq; and other Ferfons of Honour and
Quality ; with Love -Letters by the Ingenious Mr. ThtmmtOtmM,
to that Excellent Aftiefs Mrs. Bm^ ; with others, by Captain
yniAntib, Mrs, PhiBif:, and Mr. iht. Brtvn : To which is added a
Poem, call'd, Tbt Difniftim nf » Mmdmhtti; writ by the faid
Earl, and never before printed i Price bound, ^t.

The Comical Hiftory of fr»ncl«», Satyrically expofing Folly
andVice, in Variety of Humoun and Adventures, and adapted
to the Humours of the prelent Age ; faithfully tranfliced by
Captain Aylii§* % Price 61.
V Wtvsic if fold lU S9rtf 9f Hifiones, Nvyelf and Flays.

THE

WORKS

Of the Ingenious

Mr. William Wycherley,

ColIeAed inio One

VOLUME:

Contaioiflg

Plain-DeaJer, it Gentleman-Dandng-
maAer.

,8

Country-Wife, ) I Love in a Wood.

jis long at Mm art Falfi atidWmm Vain,
Wltile Gold continues to be Virtues Bane,
In foAteJ Sat)ir, Vfycbaley fiall Reign.

By Mr. Evetjin.

LONDON:

Prineed for iKftMi laaifiigton, at the DMi

and CrnnimSt.PMti Churcb-TarJ. 1713.

S^TheWotksof >l'-N«'*"»»'i««inTwoVoloiaos»

I THE

PLAIN-DEALER

A

COMEDY.

As it is ACTED at the

Theatre-Royal

Writ tea h) Mr. Wiche»j.et.

H O R A T.

I —RUiailiim tat
Fmim & mAius tmtgnat ^leritm^fectl ret.

Licenfed Jatt. 9. i6j6.

ROGER X'ESTRANGE-

LONDON:

Printed for RiclmrJ Welingtm, at the DtlfUn
aad C«»« in St. fauts Churcb-Tard. 1711.

Where is fold all Sons of Ptayi- ,

Google

,.-^.- v^--«^

'To my LADY 5--

Madam,

THO* I never had the Hentur to receive a
Favour from jw, nay^ or Be known to you^ 1
take the Confidence of an Author to write to
you a Billiec-Doux Dedicatory^ which is
MP new thing, for hy mofl Dedications it appears^
that Aatbars^ though they praife their Patrons frmrn
Top to Toe^ aidfeem to turn 'em infide out, know 'etn
as little as fometimes their Patrons their Boeks^ tho
they read them out ; and if the Poetical Dangers did
Met write the Name of the Man or Woman on top of the
Pi^ure^ 'twere impojthle to guefs whofe it were. But
you. Madam, without the help of a Poet, have' made
your felf known and famous in the World; andbecaufe
jfu do not want it, are therefore mefl worthy of an Epiflle
Dedicatory. And this Play claims naturaUy your Pro-
teilion, fince it has lefi its Reputation with the Ladies
offlri^er Lives in the PJay-boufe ; and Q you know^ when
^ens Endeavours are difcountenanc'd and refus'd hy
the nice coy Women of Honour ^ they come to you. TV
ym the Great and Hohle Patronefs of rejeded andhafl>-
ful Men, of which numher 1 profefs my felf to he one,
though a Poet, a Dedicating Poet : To you I fay. Ma-
dam, who_ have as difcerning a Judgment, in what's
ohfcene or not, as any fuick-fighted civil Perfon of 'em
aS, aud can make as much of a dauhle-meaning Saying
as the hefl of 'em , yet would not, as feme do, make
nonfenfe of a poet's Jefi, rather than not make it hau-
Jy : hy which theyfhew, they as little value Wit in a
play, as in a Lover, provided they can hring t'other
thing about. Their fenfe indeed lies aU one way, and
A X there-

The Epiftle Dedicatory.

tUrefcre are only for that in a Toet which is movit^^ as
tbeyfay ; lat what A they mean if that war J mbving i
lVc3, I mu/i not put 'em to the ihjh^ fince I find Team
dot. In jhort^ Madam-, jou wou'd not Be one of thife
who nrvifb a Poet's innocent words, and make *emguil-
tjl oj their own naugbtine/sQ as 'tis term'd) infpit§
of kis teeth- nay^ nothing is fecure from the power of
their Imaginations j no, not their HushanJsy whom
they Cuckold witbtbemfelves, h tbinkinz of other Men,
andfo make the lawful Matrimonial Embraces, Adulte-
ry ■ wroiig Husiands and Toets in Thought and Word,
tjf keep their own Reputations ; int your Ladyfhip's Jtt'
ftice, I knoki, wou'd think a Womaiis Arraigning and
Oamning a Poet for her own olfienity^ like her crying
out aRapCy andhangiMg a Man for giving her pkafnre,
only that fl>e m^ht be thought not to cogent tot ; and
fo to vindicate ber Honour, forfeits ber Madefy. But
you. Madam, have too much Mode^y to pretend to't-
th^ you have as much to f<ty for your Moaefiy as many
a nicer She ; for you never were feen at this Play, no,
not the frfi Day j an^ *tis no matter what Peoples
Uvef have heen, they are unqueflionatly modefi wbt
frequent not this Play. For, as Jir, Bays fays of bis.
That it is the only Touchjlone of Mens Wit and Under'
/landing i mine is, itfeems, tbeonlyToficbfioneof fVo-
mens Virtue and Hodefly. Bat hold, that Touchfione
is equivocal, and hy tbeflrength of a Lady's Imagina*
(ion, may become fomething that is not civil ; but your
Xadyjhip, I know, fcomstotnifapply aTouchftone. And,
■ Madam^ tho' you have not feen this Play, Ihope ( Uk$
other nice Ladies ) you wiS the rather read it i Tet,
lefl the Chambermaid, or Page, fhoud not be trt^ed,
and their Indulgence cou'd gain no further admittances
for it, than to their Ladies Lobbies or outward Room,
tnke it into your Care and frotfHiim ; for ly ywr. Ba-

Tte Epiftle Dedicatory.

^atiw oMi frKureaienty it may h«ve the t^o-
kmir. to get into their Clofett : .For what they renounce
n puhlick, often entertains 'em there, with your help
efpeciaBy. /»fne. Madam, for tbefe and many other
rea/oMS, you are the fttefi Patrenefs of Judge of thii
VUtf ; for joufbew no partiality to this or that Author^
for fromfomH, tnany Ladies m'B take abroad Jefl as
kbearfuSy as from the Watermen, 4nd ^t atfome JowH'
right filthy Plays (as they caS 'em^ as .jveS fatisfied,
a»d otfiiB, as a Poet could ivip 'em i^jewherci there-
fore it mu^ he the douhtful OBfcenifyof my Play alone
they tate Exceptions at^ hecaufe, it it-teo hajffjulfor 'etp ;
and indeed^ mofi Women hate. Men for attempting fo
baheson their Ch^flity : and Baady, tfind, like Satyr,
fiom'd he home, not to have it taken notice of. But,
WW / mention Satyr, fome there are who fay, 'Tis the
TiasH-dealing of the Play^ not the Ohfcenity ; 'tis
taking off the Ladies Masks, ft offering at their fet"
tietats, which ^ends 'em : . and generally they are net
the bandfmefl, or mofl innocent, who are the mifi an-
ffy at Being difcovert^ t

• Nihil eft audacius illis .

Deprehenlis; itam, atq; animosa crirtline fumurtt

Pardon, Madam, the Rotation, for a Dedication can
lu mire ie without BnJs of Latin, than Flattery -
and 'tis no matter whom it is writ to i for an Author
ems as eafily { I hope) fuppofe- People to have more Un-
de^anding and Languages than they have^ as weB as
mre Virtues: But, why the Devil/ fhoud any of
thefewmodefi and handfome he alarm' d } Q for fome
thert tire who as weB as any deferve thofe Attrihutes,
ytt refrain not from feeing this Play, nor think it any
addiiitu to their Virtue to fet tip for it in a Play-
Het^e, iefi there it fben'd hok Soo much like ailing )
A } . . ... . \..But

The Epiftle Dedicatory.

But U)hji, Ifay^ fbou'dany at aU'of tbe'truly Firtuoiii ie
concern'd, if tbofe \Dho'ari not fo art Mfiingui/h^J frmi
Vm i Per iy that Mast of Modefiy tshich fVomen wear
fromifcuoujly in puBlickt they are all alikey and ytn
can no more kno)» a kept iVeneb from a Woman of Ho-
nour By her Looks than hy her Drefs ; for tbofe tvho are ef
^ality mtbout Honour {_ if any fuch there are J they
. have their ^ality ta fet off their falfe Modefiy^ as
well ai their falfe Jeiveh, and you mufino more fufpeH
their Countenances for edunterfeit^ than their Fendants,
though as the Plain-dealer Montaigne fays^ Els en-
voy leur confcience a'u Bor'def, & temnertt tear
continence en regie : But tbofe who ail Ot they lock^
ought not to he feandalizeJ at the reprehenfion of others
faults^ left they tax tbemfelves with Vi», and hy foa
delicate and quick an apprehenfien not only make that
ohfcene which I meant innocent^ hat that Satyr en all,
which was intended only oh , tbo/e who deferv'd it.
Buty Madam, I ieg your pardon for this Digreffim,
to civil Women and Ladies of Honour., ^ncejou and I
Jhali never he the letter for 'o>» ; fat' a Comic Foet,
and a Lady of your VrofeffiOHy m^ke mofl of the other
fort, and the Stage j and your Houfes^ like our Planta-
tionSf are propagated hy the leafl nice Women ; and as
with the Minifiersof Jufiicey the Vices of the Age are
«Hr hefi Bufinefs, But now I mention pullick Ferfmi,
Icon no longer defer doing you the Juflice of a Dediea^
tion^ and teSing you your own ; who are, of all pui'
lick-fpirited People^ the mofi necejfary, mefl communis
cative, moft generous and hofpitahle ; your Houfe has .
hen the Houfe of the People^ your Sleep fiiU difiurlfd
for the fuhiicky and when you arofe, 'twas that others
might lie downy and you waked that others might re^ ;
the good you have done is unfpeakahle % How many young
unexperiencd Heirs have you kept from rafh fooH^
. ..Mar'

The Epiftic Dedicatory;

Marriott ? atijfrtm hing jihe^ jet their Levis iy
the morjljort of "JiltSy fVives f Bow many imhwiteb'J
fViJoaers Cbilefren ba-yeytuprefervJfrgm the Tyratmy
»f Stepmctbers } Him mamy qU Dcatenffom CuckelJ-
^e, and keeping other Mens Wehebes and Children ?
How many Adulteries and nnnatural Sins have you pre-
vented ? Infir^^ you have heen a cdnftaiit Scourge to the
old lechery and often a terror to the yokng^; you have
made Concupifience its om Purtifhrnent^ akd extinguif^
ed L^fi with Luff J like Mowing up of Honfes to flop
the Fire.

Niinirum propter coiitinentiam, incontinentia
Neceffiiria eft, incendium ignibus extinguitur.

There' slAim for you again^ lHadamj I proteft to yoiil
Oil am an Author, l cannot help it, nay, I can bird'
Iy keep myfelffrom quoting Ariftotle and Horace, and
talking to you of the Rules of Writing ( like the French
Authors ) tojhewyou and my Raader I underfiand 'emt
' inmy Efiflle^ lefl neither of you (hou'd find it out if
the Play ; and according to the Rules of Dedications,
'tis iro matter whether you underfiand or no^ what I
quote or fay to you, of Writingi for an Author tanak
eafily make any one a fudge or Critick, in an Epiffle,
as an Hero in hit Play : But, Madam, ibat this maf
prove to the end a true Epiftle Dedicatory^ 7V have
you know 'tis not without a Defign aponjou, whitb » /«
the Behalf of the Fraternity of Parnaflus, that Sbngs
andSonnets may go at your Houfes , and in your Uhtr*
jiesi for Guineas and half Guineas ; ■: and that
Wit, at kafi with you, as of old, may he the priti
of Beanfy, and fo you will prove a true eueourager
^ Poetry i for tove is a Better, help to it than Wini (
dnd Poets, like Painierst draw Better after the.
hife^ thorn By Fancy ) Hay, in Jtiftice, Madain, 1
A 4 think

The Epiftic Dedicatory;

ibiiii a ftet oi^bt tt h as fne 1/ your Ha^eSi as<^
tbt ¥lay-H»ufit ! fince he cmtrihues to tbefupptrt 4^
hath, an J is as ntceffaty to pub as ycH, OS a Ballad
finger to a Fitk-furfi, in cKtoening the OtUiesM the
Tbetares^ to he pitVd up. and carry* d to Supper «md
Bed at your Ho^es. Am, Madam, tbe return ef this
Motion^ wuM iSf hecat^epoor Poets can get no Favour
- iutbe Tyri^RoontSy for they are no Keeper s^ you know |
and Folly and Money, the old Enemies of Wit^ are e-.
Vfn too bard for it on its own Dunghill t and for ether
Ladies , a Poet canleafigoto the price of them; he
fides his Wit^ which ought to recommend him to Vw, is
asmttchaHohfiruSlion to bis Love, as to his Wealth or
Preferment ; for mofi Women now-aiays, apprehend
Wit in a Lover f as much as in a Husband \ they hate
aM4ntbat knows 'em, they mufi have a Hind eafieFoal,
iobom they can lead By the Nofe, and as the Scythian
Women of old, mufl hafle a Man, and put out his Eyes^
e' re they wiS lie with him ; and then too, like Thieves,
when they have plurder'd and fiript a Man, have him, '
But if there fhau'd he one of an hundred of thofe Ladies
"generous enough togive berfelf to a Man that has more
Wit than Money, (^a3 things conftder'd ) hewouJthink
it cheaper comingtojou for a BUfirefs, though yui made
bim pay. bis- Guinea ; as a Man in a Journey, ^ out of
piod husbandry) bad better pay for what he hat in an
Inn, than lie onfree-coji at a Gentleman s Houfe.

In fine,. Madam, lik^ a faithful Dedicator, I hope I
baix done my felf right in thefirfi place,* then you, and
your Profejfion, which in the wifefi an J mofl Religious
Government in the World, it honour d with the publiek
Allowance • and in tbofe that are thought the mofi tm-
tiviliz'd and barbarous, isproteBed, and fupported by
the MOAfiers of Jt^ice i andof you. Madam, lougbt
tofgy no.^wore bercy for your Virtues deferve a Poem

rather

The Epiftle Dedicatory^
rsthertbM an Sfi§U^ w a VtUimt mtire to ghe the
iVtrUyBwr Memein^ or Life at iarge^ and wbkb (^uf-
o» the word of <m Author that hot a mind to make am
eudtf bii Dedication) Ipromfe to do^ when J write the
AmuU of our BritUh Love, vbich Jhall he dedicated
to the Ladies concern d, vf they will not think them
fomething too ohfcene too ; when yonr Life^ compar'J
with many that are tbongfit innocent. Idonh not mof
vindkateyon, aadme^ to the World, for the confidence
1 have taken in thii Addrefs to you j which then may he
tbongbt neither impertinent nor immodeft^ and^ t^at*
foever your Amorous Misfortunes have heen, none cam
charge you with that heinous, and toor/i of Womens
Crimes, Hypocrifie ; nay, in fpite of Misfortunes or
Age, yon are the fame Woman fiill ; thou^ mefi of your
Sex grow Magdalens at Fifty, and as a folid French
Author has it,

Apres le plaifir, vien't la peine,
' Apres la peine la vertu ;
But fare an old Sinners Continency is much like a
Oamefier's forfvearing Play, when he hadlo^ all his
Moneys atfd Mcdefly is a kind of a youthful Drejs,
which as it makes a young Woman more aimahle, makes
an eld one more navfeous; a hafhful old Wanan is like
an hopeful old Man ; and the affeSed Cbtfffity of anti'
quated Beauties is rather a Reproach than an Honour to
'em, for it fhews the Mens f^ertue only, not theirs. Bnt
ytu, in fine. Madam, are no more a Hypocrite than lam
when / praife you i therefore I douht not will he thought
(^evenly yours and the Plays Enemies, i be nicefi Ladies')
to he tbefittefi patronefs f9,r.

Madam,
Yovr Ladyfliip's mofl obedient,
faithful, bumble Servant, and

The Plain-Vealer:

PROLOGUE,

Spoken by /ie Plain-'Deiler.

IT^e P L A I U-t> E A LE R am to 4^ to Day, ' ".
4nd my rough, Tart begins before the Play.
J?, you who Scribble^ yet bate all that Writti
Uind teep each ether Company in jftte,
jis Rivals in yettr common Mi firefly Fame^
And -with faint Praifes, one another Damn :
'Tis a good Flay (we know} you eant forgive^
But grudge your felvesf the Pleafure you receive^
Our Scri6ler therefore bluntly bid mefay^
He woudnet have the Witj fleai'd here to Day.
INextf you J the fine^ loud Gentlemen, t tb' Pit,
Who Damn all Plays ; yet^ if y'ave any Wit^
'Tit but what here you ffunge, and daily get ^
Taetii like Friends to whom you are in Debt,
Tou hate ; andfo Rooks laugh, to fee undone
Thofe fujhitig Gamefiert whom they live uPon.
WeS, you are Sharks j and fliU wiU be i' th fafliion J'
Rail thin, at Plays, to hide your Obligation.
Hew, you Jhrewd yudges, wbothe Boxes fway.
Leading the Ladies Hearts and Senfe afiray.
And, for their fakes, fee all, and hear no Play ;
Cerre^ your Cravats, Fitretepi, Leek behind^
The Drefs and Breeding of the Play ne'er mindi
Plain- Dealing is, you Id fay, ^uiteeut of fallen i
Tou II hate it here, ai ina Dedication.
Ahd your fair Neighbours, in a Limning Pott^
Ne mere than in a Painter v^ill-allew it.
TiHuru too like, the Ladies will not pleafe :
Tiey mufi be drawn too here, like Goddeffes.
Tou, at at Leiy V too, woud Truwheon wiild^
And took like Heroes, in a paintett Mild ;

m.

::l

PROLOGUE.

£ut the ceurfe Vauher tf the a/miag Stenesi

To foBow Life, and Nature's enly means,

"Dlfflays yon J as you are : makes his fine WamoH

A mercenary Jiltt and true to no Man j

Hm Men nf Wit, anifleafwre of the Age,

Are as dull Rogues^ as ever mmbtr'd Stagt :

He draws a Friend, only toCufiem juB,

And makes him naturally break bis Trufi.

It only AH a Part, like none (f you,

And yet, you II fay, it u a Fool's Part too :

An bonefi Man, mbc like you, never winks

At Faults j but unlike you, fpeakt what be thinks !

lie only Fod, who ne'er.fouad Patron yet.

For Truth is now a Fault at well as Wit,

And where elfe, hut on Stages do we fee "J

Truth f leafing, or rewarded Hentfiy ? >

Which our bold Poet dots thii Day in me. . )

If net i» tb' Honifi, be to th' Vrofftrous kind,

Sam iriendt at Cotrt let tbt PLAIN-DEALER J9h/.

;, Google

Ation Namer*

Math Of an boaeft/arlf, nice Humour, "Ms.Bartl

fnppos'd firft in the Timeof the

Ottteb War, to have proeurM

the Command of a Snip, ont

of Honoar^ not Intereft ; and

cbafing a Sea-Life only ra- a-

Void the World.
JEVrfNMM MmZ/sLieutnant, a Gentleman l&s. Kjnttfianl

well Educated, but of a broken

Ponune, a Compiler with the

Age. ^

Vemipi JMi(«//t Bofom and only Friend. Mt.Griffittt

Kivtl A pert railing Coxoomb, and an l&r. CUrk,

Admirer of Noretdei, makes

Love 10 Olivia,
MdjvrOldfox An old impertinent Fop, given t(x MLCtrtwri^h^
• .Scribling, makes Lote to the

Lerd-PtauJ^U A cerenionioas,fuppIei commend- lAt.Haimt.

ing Coxcomb, in Love with

Olivia.
^err.SUckticre A true raw Squire , under Age, Mr. Charlton.

and his Mother's Government,

bred to the Law.

Women,

Olivia JMaul/i Miftrefs. Mri. Mar/haL

Fijeliit In Love with Manly, and follow'd Mrs. BouteS.

him to Sea in Man's Cloathi.
Eli!{a ConCn to Olivia. Mrs. Kptp-

Lmia Olivia's Womati. Mrs. Kjugh^'

ff^d.Black.acre A petulant, litigions Widow, al- Mrs. Cor;/.

ways in Law, and Mother to

Squire feny.

LnrjerSt I^jtigbts of tlie poji, Baylifft anJAlJermm, a BiakftSer^i
Prentice, a footbi^^ Saikri, Pfaiiert, and Attenddntt.

The SCENE LONDON.

The

(i)

THE

Plain ^Dealer.

ACT I. SCENE L

Captain yUn\y*s iM/gu^,

Enter CMtai>iMsm\yfiirUlj/i Mni my LordPIaafiUe

fdlewing^ him : and two StaUrt hebind.

Mm. y ■ ^ELL not me (my good Lord VlanfitWy

of yoDr Decemmif fupercilious Forms^

■ and fiavifh Ceremonies ; yoQr littlo
JL. V Tricksj which yon the Spaniels of the
World do daily over and over^ for and to one another $
HOC ont of Lore or Duty, bac your ferrile Fear.

L. Plamf. Nay, i'falth, i'faich, you are coo paffionate,'
and I maft humbly beg your Pardon and leave to tell
you, they are the Arts and Rules the Prudent of the
World walk by.

Man. Let'em. Butl'II havenoLeadiog-ftrings,! can
walk alone ; I hate a Harnefs, and mil not tag on in
a Fadion, ki(£ng my Leader behind, that another Slave
may do the like to me.

L. Tlauf. What, will you be lingular then , like no
Body ? follow Love, and efteem no Body i

Man. Rather than be general, like you, follow every
Body, Court and Kifs every Body ; though perhaps at
the fame time you hate every Body.

L. Plauf. Why, feiioafly with your Pardon^ my dear
Triond— —

A^m. Wjr»

a The Vkin^VeaUr.

Man. With yonr Pardon, my no Friend, I will not,
as yott do, whilper my hatred, or my fcorn, call a Man
Fool or Knave, by Signs or Mouths over -his Shoulder,
whilft you have him in your Arms ; for fiich as you,
like common Whores and Pickpockets, are only dan-
gerous to thofe yon embrace.

L.Vlauf Such as 1 1 Heivens defend ipe upon

my Honour ;

Man. Upon yonr Title, my Lord, if you'd have mp
Ijelieve yoq.

Z- Tlauf. Well then, as I am a Pcrfon of Honour, I
never attempted to abufe, or lelTen any Perfon ifi my
life.

Man. What, yoij were afraid?

L. Tlauf. No* ' but ferioufly, I hate to do a rude
thing : no, faith, T fpeak well of all Mankind.

Man. I thought fo ^ but know, that the fpeaking well
of alt Mankind, is the worft kind of Detraifiion ,■ for it
takes away the Reputation of the few good Men in the
World, by making all alike : now, I Ipeak ill of moif
Men, becaufe they defecve itj I that can do a rude
thing, rather than an unjuft thing.

L- Tlauf. Well, tell npt jpe, my dear Friend , what
People deferve, I ne'er mind that ; I , like an Author
in a Dedication, never fpeak well of a Man for his fake,
but my own ; I will not difparage any Man, to difpa-
rage my felf j for to fpeak ill of People l>ehind thei^
Backs, is not like a Perfon of Honour ; and truly i;o
fpeak ill of 'em to their Faces, is not like a complai-
fam Perfon : But if I did fay, or do an ill thing to any,
it ihou'd be fure to be behind their Backs, out of pure
£ood Manners.

Man. Very well, but I, that am an unmannerly Sea-
fellow, if I ever fpeak well of People (which is very
feldom indeed) it {hou'd be fure to be behind their
Backs i and if 2 wou'd fay or do ill to any, it (hou'd be
to their Faces : I wou'd julllea proud, ftrutting, over-
looking Coxcomb, at the head of his Sycophants, ra-
^her t!^n put out my Tongue at him when he were
pad me ; wou'd frown in the arrogant, big, dull Face

of

The Ptaiiit)eakr. f

6( 99 jbyef'grown Knare of Bufinefs, rather than vene
my bpleen 'againll him, when his Back were turo'd ;
woo'd give Owning Slares the Lie, whilit they em-
brace or commend me ; Cowards whilft tbey brag ; call
a Rafcal by no other Title, tho' his Father had left him
tt Dake's ; laugh at Fooh aloud before their MtfirefTes :
And mud defite People to leave me, when their Vifits
grow at laft as troubiefome as they were ac firft im-
pertinent.

L. ?lauf. I wou'd not have my Vifits tronblefonie.

Man. The Only way to be fnre not to have 'em trou-
blefome, is to make 'em when People are not ac home,
for your Vifits, like other good turns, are mofl oblj-
S^og, when made, or done to a Man in his Abfence.
VoXi why fhou'd any one, becaufe he has nothing to
do, go and difturb another Man's Bufmefs.

L. Vlauf. I beg your Pardon, my dear Friend. What,
you have Burinefs i

Matt. If you have any, I wou'd not detain yoar
Xiordihip.

' L. TUuf. Detain me , dear Sir, I can never have
enough of your Company.

Man. I'm afraid I Ihou'd be tirefome : I know not
what you think :

L. Plauf Veil, dear Sir, I fee you'd have me gone.

fiian. But I fee yon won't. t-^/?</lr.

L. Tlauf Your moft faithful—

Man. God be w'ye, my Lord.

f- 7lauf. Your moft humble— —r-

Man. Farewel.

L. Tlauf. And eternally——

Man. And eternally Ceremony— —then the Devil
take thee eternally. {Jfidt,

L. Tlauf. You fhall ufe no Ceremony, by my Ufe.

Man. I do not intend it.

Z. Plauf. Why do you ftir then ?

Man, Only tofee yououcofDoors, thatlmayfliut
*cni againft more Welcomes.

L. Plauf Nay , Faith, chat fluU not pafi upon your
pioft £iiEhfu]j hbmble Servant.

4 Tbt Flafn-Deater.

Mam Nor thh any more upon tne. l^i^

L. VUuf. WelU you are too ftrong for me^
Man. I'd foonerbe vifited by the ffbgue; for chae

only wou'd keep a Mao from Vifits, and his Doors

iline. [^M.

{laxh thrnSing out my Lord Flaufible. Manet Sailors*

X SaU. Here s a finical Fellow, Jack ! What a brave

Etir-weather Captun of a Ship he wou'd make ?

2 SaiL He a Captain of a Ship I it mufl be when
fhc's in die Bock then j for he looks like one of thofs
that gets the Kings Commiffions for Hulls to fbll a
Kings Ship, when a brare Fellow has fought her al-
moft to a Long-boat.

I Sail. On my Confcience then, Jaei, that's the rea*
Ion our Bully Tar funk our Ship : not only that the
Dutch might not hare her, but that the Courtiers, who
laugh at wooden Legs, might not make her Prize.

3 Sail. A Fox of his finking, Tom, we have made a
faafe, broken, Ihort Voyage of it.

I Sail. Ay, your brisk Dealers in Honour, always
make quick Returns with their Ship to the Dock, and
their Men to the Hoffntals ,- 'tis, let me fee , juft a
Month fince we fet but of the Rjverj and th« Wind
was almoil as crofs to us as the Dfitcb.

3 Sail. Well, I forgive him finking my own poor
Trunk, if he wou'd but have given me Time and Leave
to have fav'd Black Kate of Waffing\ fmall Venture.

I Sail. Faith, I forghrc him, fince, as the Pnrfer told
me, he fuuk the Value of five or fix thoufand Pound
of his own, with which he was to fettle himfelf fome-
where in the Inditi , for our merry Lieutenant was to.
fucceed him in his Commiffion for the Ship back, for
he was refolv'd never to return again for Ef^lanJ.

1 Sail. So it feem'd, by his Pighting.

I Sail No, but he was a weary ofthis Side of the
World here, they fay.

z Sail Ay , or elfe he wou'd not have bid ib fair
for a Paffage into t'other.

I Sail. Jackj thott think'ft thy Cslf in the Forecaftle,
thoa'it fo waggiib i but I tcU you then, he bad a MM

The Plain-Dealer. y

to go lire and bask himfelf on che fonny Side of the
G\obe.

2 Sail. 'Whar, out of any difcontem ? for he's al-
ways as dogged as an old Tarpaulin , whea hinder'd
o/a Voyage by a young Pantaloon Captain.

1 Sail. TTis true, I never faw hira pleas'd but in the
Figftt, and then he look'd like tone of us coming from
the Pay-Tabte, with a new lining to our ]^es under
oQr Arms.

X Sail. APox, he's like tbe^A^ of £j/^0^, rough abfl
angiy , let the Wind blow where 'twill.

X Sail. Nay, there's no more dealing with htm,than
with the Land in a Storm, No- near- - . .

2 Sail. Tis a hurry- dnrry Blade^ doft thcjl remem-
ber after we had tngg'd hard the old leaky Lot]g-boat^
to fave his Life, when I welcom'd him alhorCi he gave
me a box on the Ear, and catl'd.nte fawning Watci>
Dog. , ,

Enttt Maaly and Ftegrpait.

I Sail Hold thy peace, ;y«ei,andftand by, the foOl
Weather's coming.

Man. You Rafcals, Dogs, how xioa'd this tame thing
get through you ? ■ i ■ i . .

1 Sail. Faith, totell y6nrJH6nour the Truth, wd
were at Hob in the Hall, and whillt' my Brothes snd
I were quarrelIing;about'a Caft, .hqflunk by iis.' .■ ;

2 Sail. He's k fneaking Fello*? I warrant for'ti.
Man. Have more care for the fdture, you SI^fcsJ

go, and with drawn' Cutlaces, fluid at the Stalr-footf
and keep all that ask for me from coming up : fijppofo
yen are guarding the Scuttle to the Powder-Room :
let none entef here, at your and their petil.

I Sail. No, for the Danger WAu'd be the faipe j ypa
wou'd blow them and us up, if wq ftiou'd.
. i Sail: Muft no one come to ycni. Sir i

Man. No Man, Sir.
. -t Sail. NO'Manj Sir, bntaWomaa thep, .an'cUke'
your HooDUiJ— — r- .■■!■., ■ ' , ,;

Man No. Woman neither, you.uDpertinentJDp^
WfiluViyou be Pimping ? ASestKnip^is (tn firsnaeft
Mwilter fliehar. B z Sail.

6 The ?Ui»-VtaUf'.

X S»il. Indeed, an't like your Honotirj 'twill be hard
for us to deny a Woman any thing, fmce we are fo
newly oc»ne on Shore.

X Ssil. We'll let no old Woman come ftp, thoag^
h were osr Trnftine Landlady at Wt^^g.

Men. Wou'd you be witty, you Brandy Casks you?
you become a Jeft as ill -as you do a Horfe. Be gone,
yon Dogs, I hear a Nolle on the Stairs. (Exit Sailors.

Fret. Faiih, I am forry you wou'd let the Fop go,
I intended to have hzd fome Sport whh him.

Man, Sport with him ! A Pox then, why did yoB
not flay ? yon Ihoo'd hare enjoy'd your Coxcomb,
and had him to your felf for me.

Free. No, I Ihou'd not have car'd for him wntfaoDC
you neither ; for the Plesfure which Fops afibrd, is
nkethac of Drinking, only good when 'tis fliar'd j
and a Fool like a Bottle, which wou'd make yos
merry in Company, wHl make yoti dull alone. But
how the Devil con'd yon tnm a Man of his Quality
Sown Stairs i You ufe a Lord wkb very Ikde Cere-
mony, it feems.

Man. A Lord I What, rhon arc one of chofe wha
efleem Men only by the Marks and value Fortnne
has fet upon 'em, and never consider intriofick worthy
but counterfeit Honour will not be current with me,
I weigh the Man, not his Title } 'tis not the King's
Stamp can make the Metal better or heavier : Your
Lord is a leaden billing, which you may bend every
way, and debafes the Stamp he bears, inltead of being
rais'd by it : Here again, you Slaves i
Enter Sailors.

X Sail. Only to receive -farther Inflrudioos, an't
Hke your Honour : What if a Man (hou'd bring yoa
Money, (hou'd wq turn him back ?

Matt. All Men, I fay ,* muill be pettei'd with yoa
too ? you Dogs away.

2 Sail. Nay, I know one Man yonr Honoor wou'd
not have us hinder coming to ;jrou, Fm (ore.
Mm. Who's that i (peak quickly. Slaves.
' 3 SmH, Why, b Man duuOioa'a bringyou a Chal^

The PlatH'DeaUr. 7

fctig6 J for though you re&fe Mofiey, Vva fitrb ioa.
ioTC Fighting too well to refbfe that.

Mmt. Rogncj Rafcal, Doe. {Richtb*%A\tmcitt.

JWe. Nay, 'let the poor Rogues have their Tor&i
caffle Jefls ; tbey cannot help 'etti in a Fight^ feared
when a Ship's Hnking.

Man. Damn their untimely Jefls j i Seifaat's Jeff
is more faacinefs than his ConnfeK

Fne. bat what , will you fee no Body ? not yaai
Friends ?

iMtfK. Fiiends^-^^t have bai one, and he, I bear, U
Hot in Town ; nay , can hare btit one Friend , for A
true Heart adniits hot of one Ftiendlhip , as of one
Love ; bat in having that Friend, I have a Thoafand^
for he has the Courage of Men in Defpair, yet the.
diffidency and caution of Cowards ; the fecrefie of
the Reveugeful, dnd the conftancy of Martyrs : one
fit to advife, to keep a fecretj to ^ght and die for his
Friend. Such 1 think him, for I hare tnifted him with
my Miflrefs in my Abfence j and the truft of Beauty,
H fare the greateft We can ffaew.

Frit. Wellj but all your good Thoughts are notfot
him alone ( I hope ? ) pny what d'ye think of me
kt a Friend i

Mm. Of thee J Why, thou art a LatituJirurian id
Friendffaipj that is no Friend ; thou doft lide with all
Mankind, but wilt fuffer for none. Thou art indeed
like your Lord Phujihle, the Pink of Courtelie, there-
fore haft no Friendfliip ; for Ceremony, and gteat
Profeffing, renders Ftiendlhip as much fufpeded, af
it does ReUgion.

fWf. And no Profeffing, no Ceremony at all in
Friendifaip, were as unnatural and as undecent as in
Religion i and there is hardly fuch a thing as an ho-
Deft Hypocrite, who profefles himfelf to be worfs
than be is, nnlels it be your felf j for, though I con'd
never get yoa to fay you were my Friend, I know
you'U prove fo.

Mm. I ninft confefs, Tm fo much your Friend, 1

voa'd not deceive yon, dierefore mun tell yoa (not

B *. onl/

8 The TUin-Dcaleri

Qp\y bfcaofe my H^c is taken up> but according to

your kules of Friendlmpj I caono; be yoiir Friend.

/wa,. Why, pray, ?i ;. a

_ Mitn. Becaufehe that i»(yutt11 fay) a true Friend to
a Man, is a Friend.'to all his Friends; bntyoumaft
pardon 'nie, I cannot wifti well to Pimps,' Flatterers,
Berrac^ers, and Oiw^rds, ftiff nodding Knaves, and
fupple pliant kiffing Fools : now, all chele I have feen
you >ife,. like ih& dearefl Friends in the World.

Free, tta, ha, ha ■ What, you obferv'd rae, I

warrant, in the Galleries at Wbitthall, doing the bufn
nefsofithe Place! Pfcaw , Court-profeffions, like.
Court-'prbmifes, go for nothing, Man ! but. Faith,
coi^ld .you- think I was a Friend to all tho|e- 1 hngg'dj
tifi'd, iJatler'd, boVdtoo? Ha, ha—
) .Mm: You told 'eni(o,and fwore it toojiheard you.
, -Free.. Ay, but when their Backs were tum'd, did I
nop-^l ycm they -were Rogues, Villains, RafcaUy
whom i defjns'd and hated ?
. Man. Very Ene ! But what. Reafon had I to be-
lieve you fpoke yonr Heart to me, fmc^ yoa profefs'd.
deceiving ib many ? ,

Frte. Why, don'c you know, good Captain, th^t
telling truth is a Quality as prejudicial toia M^n thac
wou'd thrive in the World, as fqtiare Play to .a Cheat,
or true Love to a Whore ! Wou'd you have a Man
fpeak truth to his ruin ? You are feverer than the
Law, which requires no Man to fweac againft him-
ieU"j you wou'd have me fpeak truth ag^inft my felfi
I vvarrant, and tell my promifing Friend, the Cour-
tier, he has a bad Memory i

Man. Yes.

Free. And fo make him remember to forget my
bufinefs ^ and 1 Ihou'd tell the great Lawyer too, that
he takes oftner Fees to hold his Tongue, than to fpeak :
': Man. No doubt on't.

Free. Ay, and liave him hang or ruin me , when
he'fhou'd come to be a Judge, and I before him. And
you wou'd have me tell the new Officer, who boujght
his Employment lately, th^t he is a Coward.

^\ Man.

The TlaithDealer. 9

Mm. Ay; ■. . ■

F^te. And fo get my fclf cafliietM, not him,, lie ha-
ving the better Friends, though I the better Sword.
And I ftion'd tell the Scribler of Honour, that Heral-
dry were a prettier and fitter Study for fo fine a Gen-
tleman than Poetry.

Man. Certainly.

B-». And fo find my felf maol'd in his next hir'd
Lampoon. And yon wou'd hare me tell the holy La-
dy too, Ihe lies with her Chaplain.

Man. Nodonbton't.

Free. And fo draw the Clergy upon my Back, and
want a good Table to Dine at fometimes. ^d by
the ftme reafon too, I flton'd tell you that the World
thinks you a Mad Man, a Brutal, and have you cue
my Throat , or worfe , hate me 1 What other good
faccefs of all my Plain-dealing cou'd 1 have, than what
I've mention'd ?

M»Sf Why, 6rft your promi(in£ Courtier wou'd
keepTfis Word out of fear of more Reproaches ; or at
lean wou'd g^ve you no more vain hopes : your Law-
yer wou'd (crve you more faithfully ,* for he, having
no Honour but his Iniereft, is trueft ftitl to him he
knows fufpeds him : The new Officer wou'd provoke
thee to make him a Coward, and fo be cafhier'd, that
thoUj or fome other honeft Fellow, who had more
Courage than Money, might gac his place : the noble
Sonnetteer wou'd trouble thee no more with his Ma-
drigals : the praying Lady ' wou'd leave off railing
at Wenching bef(>re thee, and not turn away her
Chamber-maidj for her own known frailty with thee :
And I inftead al 'hating thee, fhou'd love thee for thy
Vlam-dealmg • and in lien of being mortify 'd, am proud
that the World and I' think not well of one another.

■J^«. WeH, ' Dodors differ.' You are fbr'P/«'«-JM/- ■
inft, I find's but againft your particular Notiwis, I
have the Praaicd of the Whole' World. CMtwz but
any Mdrning what People dd'When they get -toge-
ther on the Exc^an^e^m H^eff-minJiefHalt ^ or tfce- Gal-
lflies in WhittktiU. - / ' " • ..■.'..-:."'
' ' ' B J ... .Aii»-

Man. I tnuft confefs , there they feem to rehearfo
Bayi% grant) Dance: here yon ft« 4 Bi&op bowing
lou^ to a gaudy Atheift ; a Judge to a Door-keeper j
a great Lord to a Fiftanonger, ot a Scrivener w«h a
Japk-Chain abont his Neck i a Lawyer to a Sergeanc
at Arms ; a Velvet Phyfician to a Thread-bare Chy-
tnifi : and a fupple Gentleman-Ulher, to a furly Beef-
eater : -and fo tread round in a pr^>ofterous huddle of
Ceremony to each pther, whilft they can hardly hold
(heir folemn falfc Countenances.
, Free. Well, they underftand the World-

Man. Which I do not, I confefs.

Free. But, Sir, pray believe the FHendlhip I pro*
mife youj real, whatfoever I have pro&fi to others ;
jcry me, at leaft.

Man. Why, what woa'd you do for me ?

Free. I woo'd hght for you.

Man. That you wou^d do for yo^r own Honourj
^nt what elfe ? "

Free. I wou'd lend you Money, if I bad it.

Mfn. To borrow more of me another time. That
were but putting your Money to Intereft, an Ufurer
wou'd be as good a Friend, But what other piece of
Friendfhtp i

Free. I wou'd fpeak well of you to your Enemies.

Mm. To encourage others to be your Friends, by
9 fhew of Gratitude ; but what elfe ?

Free. Nay, I wou'd not hear you ill fpokep of be-
hind your Back, by my Friend.

Af«H.Nay,thenthoa'rt.a.Friend ind^d j but it were
tmreafonable to exped it from thee, ai the World goes
now : when new Friends^ like new Miftreflesj ^e goe
by difparflging eld ones.

Eitm Fidelia.
But here comes another, will fay ai mngh at taaft,
dofi tfaau not loye ipe dwitiflily too, my little Voloo-
tier, as well as he, or any Man caa^

Fti. Bener than any Man can love yon, ny dent
Captain.

Aftfs, Look yoa thcTQ, Itolt^yoaJQ.

TZv Fhin-Deakri n

f'uL As wdll 31 yon do Trutb <x Honour,^, as well.

MM.Nayjgood young Gentle[iian,enoDgh^r fitanie j
choa hail been a Page, by thy flatteiiog and Lyine,
CO one of thofe jvaying Ladies, who love Flattery fo
well, they arc jealous of it, and wertturn'd away for
&ying ttie fame things to the old Houfe-keeper for
Sweet-meats, as you did to yoar Lady ,■ for thou flat«
tei^ every- thing, and every Body alike.

Rd. You, dear Sir, fliou'd not fufped die tnidi <A
what I fay of you, though to yon ; Fame, the old
Lyar, is belier'd when fiie fpeaks wonders of yon ;
yoa cannot be flattbr'd , Sir, your Merit is nnfpeak-
sble.

Man. Holdi hold. Sir, or I fiiall fufpeft worfe of
you, that you have been a Cufliion-bearer ro fome
State Hypocrite,and tum'd away by the Chaplains, for
ont-Rattering their Probation Sermons for a Benefice.

Rd. SnfpeA me for any thing. Sir, but the want of
Love, Faith and Duty to you, the braveft, worthieft
of Mankind } believe roe, I could die for you, Sir.

Man. Nay, there you He, Sir; did not I fee thes
more ateid in the Fight , than the Chaplain of tho
Ship, or the Purfer that bpught his Place ?

Fid. Can he be laid to be afraid, that ventures to
Sea with you ?

Man. Fie, fie, no more, I fhall hate thy Flattery
worfe than thy Cowardife, nay, than thy Brag^g.

fid. Well, I own then I was afraid ; mig^ly a-
^id ; yet fix you I wou'd be afraid again, an hun-
dred times afraid : dying is cealing to be afraid, and
that I cou'd do fure for you , and you'll believe mo
one day. [Wtep.

Free. Poor Yonth I believe his Eyes if not his
Tongue : he feems to fpeak Truth widi tbem.

Mm, What, does he cry } A Pox on't, a mandlin
Flatterer is as naafeouQy troublefome as a mandlin
Drunkard j no more, you little Milk-fop, do not cry,
I'll never make thee afraid again ,■ for of all Men, if I
had occafipa, thou fhou'dft not be my Second ; and
when I go to Sea again, thon (halt veiuttie thy Lifo
no oioie with mc B4 .,15^

I'll the..¥Ui»Dealer.

Fiii> "Why, will you leave me behind then ?
( If you. yipu'd preferve my Life, . I'm fiue you /hou'd
not; ) . . l^fide,

Aia/i. Leave thee behind ! Ay, ay, thoa art a hope-
ful Youth for the Shore only j here thou wilt lire to
Ipechei-ilh'd by Fortune, and the Great ones ; for tbov
inay'ft e^ly.come to out-flatter a dull Poetj out-lie a
CofTee-houie, or Gaz^t-writer, out-fwear a Knight
pf the Pc^ out-watch a Pimp, out-fawn aRook, out-
pcomife a LoreryOUE-rail a Wit, and out-brag 3 SeA-"
Captain: All this thou, canft do, bgcaufe tboq'jcc a
jQoward, a thing I hate , therefore thou'lt do better
with the World than with me, and thefe are the good
pourfes you rouft take in the World.; There's good
^dvice,at leaft, at parting j go, and be (lappy with'r.
. FiJ. Parting, Sir!, O let me not h^arthat difaaal
Word.

, Matf. If my Words frighten thee, be gone the foon-
pr ; for (0 be plain with tt^ee, CpwardiTe and I can-
not dwell together. , „

. Fid. .^t)d Cruelty and Courage never dwelt toge-
fhsr.rur«. Sir. Do i>ot turn me off to fliame and mi-
fery, for I am helplefs and friendlef^.
. , Afap. Friendlefs I tjier* are half a fcore Friends
for thee ihenjlofen herGold.^ Heave myfclfnomore;
■Xhej'll tjelp thee a little, Be gone, go, I muft be
cruet to ,thee (if thou call'ft it fo) out of pity.
. . F/fit, if you wou'd be ciuellypitifiil, Sir, let it be
.Wipb j^ur SworJ, not G^ld. , [Ewf.

;-r ,i-~ ,■■ Enter firjf Sailor.;

;. 'I SaiL We have, with mu^hado, tprn'daway two
.Centlemen,who rold us forty times over, their Names
^ere {^Ip- Nbw^ ^^^ Major OUfc:^. ■■

Ai^_ Well, to your Port again, [£jc« Sailot.'

iD^^^.ff^onis.thpf'iiPiip^ie^coupled always together.^

. fr«,;0, the Ca3[,q9inijs l^eep ea?h otjjer Company,
to.^e^y_eachotfier,.«,s N*v'/eaIlsiiiOir,as Oldfut fays,
Ji^e i|^Q ivtfivesy. to.v^hec one another.
; 1^1,1 A|i.^ %(flt^F3p?ople5 Tfieai«i.9djplt. :..> 1- i
u.W V.:. ■ ■^■■\r-, ;,.r:j V....- ,:-.^.. sr^ '^i c^ 1 ;i3rt -

The Plain-DeaUr. x3

Etittr feeond Sailer.
'a Ssil. Here is a Wqaian, an't like your Honotir,
Icelds and buftles with us, to come in, as much as a .
Seaman's Widow at the Na'vy-Offict : her Name is Mrs.
BUeiacre.
Man. That Fiend too!

Frie. T^aWiAov/ Blackacrti isicnot? That litigious
She-pctty-fogger, who is at Law and Difierence with
all the World ; but I wifli I cou'd make her agree with
me in the Church : They fay flie has fifteen hundred
Pounds a Year Joynture, Sknd the Care of her Son,
that isj the Deftrudion of his Eftate.

Mtn. Her Lawyers, Atcomies and Solicitors, have
fifteen hundred Pound a Year, whilft {he is contented
to be poor, to aiake other People fo j for fhe is as
Texatious as her Fa^er was, the ^eat Attorney, nay,
as a Dozen Norfolk Attorneys, and as implacable an
Adverfary, as a Wife fuing for Alimony, or a Parfoa
for his Tytbes j and /he loves an Eafier-'Term, or any
Term, not as othet Country Ladies do, to come up
to be fine. Cuckold their Husbands, and take their
Pteafure ; for (be has no Pleafure but in vexing others,
and is afually cloath'd and daglcd like a Baud in Dif-
guife, purfu'd through Alleys by Serjeants. When
flieisin Town, {he lodges in one of the Inns of Chan-
cery, where Jbe breeds her Son, and is her felf his
Tutorefs in Law-French ; and for her Country-abode, '
tho' (he has no Eftace ihere^ llie chufes Norfilk. Bur,
bid her come in, with a Pox to her ,- fhe is Olivia's
Kinfwoman, and may make me amends for her Vilir,
by fbme Difcourfe of chat dear Woman. [ Exit. Sailor.

flitter Widoiv Blackacre with a Mamie, tmd a gritn Bag^
andftvtral7aftrs,in the ether Havd : Jerry Blackacre,
litr Sen, in a Gown^ ladtn with green BagSffvliowing her*
Wid. I never bad fo much to do with a Judge's

Door-keeper, as with yours ; but—— —
Man. Hue the incprnparable Olivia, how does fiie

fince I want ?

ffU. Sinpe yon went, my Suit — ■ *

~\ . J^n.

X4 The FlahtDeaU^

Man. Oliviat riay» is ftfl well i
Wid. My Suit, if you had not retnni'd--*!^— «>
Man. DamnyourSoit, howdoesyourCouAnO/fv^jF
}f^.My Sait, Ifay, had been quite Idftj butnow — !•
Man. But now where is OlivU ? in Tpwn i for — !•
WtJ. For to M«rrow we are to bavc « Hearing.
Maw, Wou'd you woa'd let m$ have n Heanng to
Day.
^d. But why won't you hear me i
Man. I am no Judge, and you talk of noclungbat
Suits ; butj pray cbll me, when did you fee OUvia ?

Wid. I am no Vifiter, but a Woman of Banners j or
if I ever Vifit, 'tis only the Cbtncerj4ane Ladies, La- '
dies towards the Law; and not any of your lazy^
good-fof-nothing Flirts^ who cannot read Law Frencbj
tbo' a Gallant writ ic Bat, as I was telling yoa, my

Suit '

Man. Damn thefe impertinent, rexatious People of
Bafinefs, of all Sexes j they are fUll troublii^ the
World with the tedtoua Recitals of their Law-Suits :
And one can no more &>p their Mouths, than a Wit's,
when he talks of btmfelf ; or an Intelligencers, when
he talks of other People.

Wid. And a Pox of alt veiatioas impertinent Lo-
vers j- they are fltU perplexing the World with the
tedious Narrations of their Love-Suits, and Difcourfes
of their MiftrelTes : You are as tronblefome to a p^
Widow of BufmeG, as a youi^ Coxcombly Rhiming
Lover.

Man. And thou art as troublefome to me, as a Rook
to a loofing Gamefter, or a young patter of Cafes to
his MtftreK or Sempltrefs, who has Love in her Head
for another.

Wid. Nay, fince you talk of putting of Cafes, a!nd
will not hear me fpeak, hear our j^nr^ a little ; let him
put our Cafe to yon, for the Tryal's to Morrow ; and
fince you are my chief Wicnefs, I wou'd have yonc
Memory refrefh'd, and your Judgment inform' d, that
you ma]r not g^ve yoar Evidence improperly. Speak
ent, Clnld.

The PUin-Veakr, x^

Jtr. Yes, fotrootli. Hemh! Hemh! Jtht-g^StiUi—

Man. You may talk, yoHogLawyer, bat I fliaU no
more mind you, than a hnngry Judge 4oes a C^iij«,
after the Clock has (track One.

Frti. Nay, yoQll find him as peevilh toa

md. No matwr. Jenyt go on. Do you obferrt
it then. Sir, for I think I have feefi yon in a Gowa
once. Lord, I cou'd hear oar Jerry put Cafes all Day
long. Mark him. Sir.

Jer. Jolm-0-Stili4 — no— There arefirft,H(ai,P<rt,
and ^jtw ',-*.«- No, no, Aylt, Fen, and Fitx.; AyU is
fazed in Fee of BUeJuere i Joba-a-Stiks diifaifes Ajk j
y<r/r makes Claim, and the Difleifor dies; then the
Jyk rfio, the FitK^

fTuL No, the Perij Sirrah.

Jer. O, the Pert : E)y, the Ttri^ Sir, and the Hfn—
no, the Aylei no, the Frrc and the BtZj Sir, and—*

Mam. Damn Ptre, Mire, and Fitt,, Sir.

ff^J. No, yoa are out, Child j hear roe. Captain,
then ; there are j4yU, Pert and Fitx,, AyU is feized in
Fee of Blackaere j and bdng- fo fei»d, Jobn-a-Stilfit
diSeifes the Ay^* AyU makes Claim, and the DUTei-
for dies ; and then the Pert re-enters, the Pen, Sir-
rah, the Pen [ u Jerry.] and the Fitx. enters upoo

the Pere, and the AyU brings his Writ of Difleizin, in
the Pefi } and the Ptre brings his Wdt of Difleizen,
ja the Pertf and-"- — -

Mm, Canfl thoa hear thb ftaff, Freemn f I cou'd
as foon fufier a whole Noife of Flatterers at a great
Man's Levy in a Morning; bat thoa haft ferrile
Complacency enough to liuen to a qniblinp; States-
man in difgrace, n^y, and be beforehand with him,
in laughing at his dull No Jeft} but I — ~

\_Offermgte nvM.

Wid. Nay, Sir, hold. Where's the Suk-fma, Jerry i
1 mu& ferre you. Sir. Yoa are requir'd by tms, to
give your Teftimony— — —

Mfih rU be forfwctfi^ to be tvreo^i oa thee.

[ Sk- Mvnly rdrntwy Mi/^y the Sab-poena.

mi

i6 The P/ah-Dea/er.

■ W;ii Get you gone, for a Lawlefs Companion
Come, Jerry, I had almoft forgot we were to meet
at the Matters at three : Let tis mind our Bafmeis
ftUI, Child.

Jer. I, forfooth, e'en fo let's.

JV«. Nay, Madam, now, I wou'd beg you to hear
me a little, a Kttle of my Bofmefs.

fTiJ. I have Bufmefs of my own calls me away. Sir.

Free. My Bufinefs wou'd. prove yours too, dear
Madam.

md. Yours wou'd be fome fweet Biifinefs, I war-
rant : What, 'tis no mfimtn^tr-HaB Bufinefs ? Wou'd
you have my Advice ?

Free. No, Faith, 'tis a little Wefimlnfier-Akhy Bafi-
nefs : I wou'd have your Confent.

Wtd. O fie, fie. Sir, to me fnch Difcourfe, before
my dear Minor there !

Jer. Ay, ay. Mother, he wou'd be taking Livery

and Seifiti^ of your Joyniure, by digging the Turf j

but I'll watch your Waters, Bully, i'fac. Come, a-

way. Mother. - [ Ex. Jerry, hauling away bis Mother.

Manet VKtmzn : Enter to him Fidetia.

Fid. Dear Sir^ you have pity j beget but fojne :in
cur Captain for me.

Free. Where is he? \

FtJ. Within j-fwearing as much as'he did in th^
great Storm, and curling yoii, and fometimes finks
into Calms and Sighs, and talks of hisOlivia.

Free. He wou'd never truftipe to fee her: Is flic
handfome ?

Ftdj No, if you'l! take my' word I but I am not a
proper Judge. '

Free. Whatisflie?' ■ :

■ Ftd. A Gentlewoman, Ifuppofrf, but of as mean a
Fortune as Beauty j but her Rdaiiorw" wou'd not ftifr
fer het'to go with him to the Indies : and his' Averffbri
to this fide of the World,, together With thehtcOp.
portumfyofcorrii*i3riding''^li9=^Gbnvby,' wfea'd' not
let him ftay fiore-Iftdgfer, thcx' *«pfcniby her.

Free. He loves her mightily then.

B4.

tbf Piaiif-Dealfr\ 17

FtJ. Yes, fo - well, that the ceamoder of hisTFor-
tune (l hear about dve or rixthoufand Ponces) he'has
left her, in cafe he had di'd by tbeway^ or before (he
cou'd^preTaU with her Friends to follow hini] which
he expet^ed (he fhoa'd do ; ^nd has left betiiod-
him his great Borom-Friend to be hei Convey to
him.

Frte. What Charms has (he for htoij if Ibebenoc
bandfome ^ ■

Fid. H9 fancies h^fj I fuppofe, the onlyWp^vn
of Truth and Sincerity-in the Vojld.. • - •.

Frte. No Common Beanty, I cofifefs.
FiJ. Or elfe fure-.-he wou'd not l)ave trufled her with
fo great a fliare of his Fortonej in his Abfence ; t
fuppofe ( fmce his late Lois) all he has.
Frei. Why, has he left it in her own Cuftody ? .
FiJ. I am toldfo. ,,; -

Free. Then he has-lhew'd Lqr^ «>: her indeed^ ia -
leaving her, like an.old Husba^ -that dies as foonas;
he has made his Wife a good Jointure 4- but 111 gaia,
to him, and fpea{t for you, and know more from him.
of his Olivia. t Exil, ■

Manet Fidelia /e/^. '\ y ,

■ Fid. His 0/;a!(tf indeed, his happy O/ifJ* .' . ; .,
Yet (he was left behind, when I was.with hiin f
But (he was ne'er out of his Mind or Heart. .. ^ .-,.;
She has told htm fhelov}dhim j.lh^yeJliew'd,it, ..
And durft not tell himtfo, till I hadidonc.
Under this Habic, fucl\ convincing' A^s , ,-

Of loving Friendftjip for him, tfiat thrqugh it . , .j, ,.,
Ue firft might hnd out both my Sex and Love j ■-;.'..[
And, when I'd had him from, his fair O^iwa, ,.:,(,-\i/
And this bright World of artful Beaiiti^s here, ■■S....-'.
Might then have hc^'^i he woii'd,have look'd on OW
Amtvigft the iboty, 7Wianj J . and.I cou'd _,^. ;

To(;hoofe, there live his Wife, jwbereWiyqs are ^jR^'d-,
To live no longer, when their Hiubands die.' ,.-.'3' ^ .,
Nay, what's vet-woiie,^ to Ihar^'em.whilit t^y lit^
With many Rival Wives. But-hert^'he coqies, , .. -. :;'

■■■■■' ■■■ "--■"■ ■ ^'-Xni

>d Tbe Plain-Dealer,

^ii i mti^ yet keep out of his light, not
To Irtfe it for cTcr. t £v//.

Emer Manly and Freeman.

l^tf. Bat pray what ftrange Charms has flie chac
coa'd make you love ?

Man. Strang Charms indeed ! She has Beauty e-
noagh to call in queftion her Wit or Venue, and her
Form won'd make a ftarr'd Hermit a K.avid]er ; yec
herVertne and Conduit, won'd prefcnrc her front
tin fsbtil Lv& of a pamper'd Prelate. She is fo perfe A
a Beauty, that Art coald not better it, nor AfTedation
deform it ; yet all this is nothing, her Tongue as well
ai Face ne^er knew Artifice : nor erer did her Words
or Looks contradid; her Heart : She Is all Troth, andf
hates the lying, masking, daubing World, as I do;
for which I love her, and for which I think fhe dif>
likes not me : For fhe has often fhut out of her Con-
verfation for mine, the gaudy fluttering Parrots of the
Town, Apes and ficcho's of Men only, and refiis'd
their common Place, Pert, Chat, Flattery and Sub-
sitfBons, to be entertained with my fullen Bluntnefsj
and honeft Love. And, laft of all, fwore to me, fmce
her Parents wou'd not fufifer her to go with me, fhe
won'd flay behind for no other Man ; but follow me
without (hdr leave, if not to be obtun'd. Which
Oath

Fret. Did yon think fhe woa'd keep ?

Man. Yes; for fhe is not (I tell you) like other
Women, but can keep her Promife, tho' flie has fwortl
to keep it ; but, that fiie might the better keep it, 1
left her the Value of five or fix thoofand Pounds : For
Vomens wants are generally the moft importunate
Solicitors to Love or Marriage.
' fi-te. And Money fummons Lovers, more than
Scanty, and augments but their Importunity, and thdr
Namber ; fo makes it the harder for a Woman to de-
ny 'em. For my part, I am for the French Maxim, If
yos wou'd have your Female Subjeds Loyal, keep
em poor : but) io firart, that your Miftrefs may not
marry, yoa bive giveii her a Portion.

The Pl4h$.0eaUr, ip

AflM. She hui ^ren tee her Heart firftj and I am
(atisfied with the Secarity; K ean never donbc her
Troth and Cooftancj,

Bte. It feems you do, imte you are Sun to bribe it
with Money* But how come yoa to be fojdiJEdenc
ol the Man that fsys he loves yoa, and not donbt the
Woman that lays ic :

Aian^ lihou'd (Iconie&)doubt the Love of any
other Woman but her, as I do the Friendfhip of any
other Man but him I have tnifted ; but I have foa
Ptoofeof thdr Faith, as cannot deceive me.
trie. Cannot .'

Mah Not bat I know, that generally, no Man can
l>e a great Enemy, but under the Name of Friend f
and if you are a Cuckold, it is your Friend only that
makes you fo : for your Enemy is not admitted to
your Houfe : if you are cheated in your Fortuno^
tis your Friend that does ic ; for your Enemy is not
made your Trofiee ; If your Honour^ or good Name
be injnr'd, 'tis your Friend that does it £ml, becanle
your Enemy isnotbellev'd a^inftyon. Thoefiire
I rather chufs to go where honeft, downright Barba-
rity is profeft^ where Men devour one another liJce
fenerons hungry Lions and Tygers, not like Croco-
iks ; where they think the Devu white, of oar Com-
pleuon, and I am already fo far an Im^mm : But if
your weak Faith doubts thu Miracle of a Woman,
come ^one with me, and believe, and tfaon wilt
find her fo handfom, that thon, who art ib moeh my
Friend, wilt have a mind to lie with her, and (o
will not foil to difcover what her Faith and thine ti
to me.

WhtH ve'rt in Ltve, tbeprtat AJvtrfijff
Our fritmis and A^prtJJet at met ivt try.
Finis AAbs Ptiml.

ACT

10 The PiatM'Deaier.

ACT n. SCENE I.

OlivuV Ledghg.

£sfn- Olivia, Eliza, Lettic&

Otiv, A H Confi0, what a World 'tis we lire in ! I
f\_ am fo weary of it.
Eliz.. Truly, Coufin, I can find no fault with it*
bat that we cannot always live in't ; for I can nerer

birweafy of it. '.

■' pliy: O hideous! you cannot be in eameft fare,
w^ii ythz fay you like the filthy WoHd.
' tlix,^. You cannot be in earneft fare, when yoa
4J(y ybu diflike it. -

f'/Olki, You are a very cenforious Creature, I find.
''Pkli!i:i;''t muft confcfsj I think we Women as often
■'diffidver where we love byrailing, as Men when they
^ypj'ty, their fwearing j and the World is but a con-
ftatlt Iceeping Gallant, whom we fail not to quarrel
■wtth, when any 'thing, croffes qs, yet cannot part
wikhYfbr our Hearts.

, ' i^tf.''A Gallant indeed. Madam,' whom Ladies foft
'm'^id^loiis, afld theh'qaarrel- with it for being fo,
-fbi" Ifl^y her Ihdifcfeticn, a Lady be talk'd of for' a
■Minf (Ke critt prefemly,- /rw tf cwjWow fPin-W ; if, by
liel/'VaKlty] ihie liiirigue'be'foilnd- out, 'fisafrpng
'lUSir'W' W'or/rfi ifj'.by Jier bver-fohdncfs, the Gaf
■■Ian£-'pr6ves tincomhnt, 'Ta a falfe ff^ld ; abd if,
by her ntgardlinefs, the Chambermaid tells, Ttss
ferfiJicui Worlds but that, I'm furcj, your Ladyfliip
cannot fay of the World yet, as b^d'as 'lus-

Oliv. But I may fay^ 'Tis a verj itii}eruncnt World.
Hold yonr-pieiicil:' Andj Cbufm, if the World be a
Gallant, 'tis fuch an one as is my Averfion. Fray
name It no more.

r '■Mik. Bat is it poflible the World, which has fuch
variety of Charms for other Women, can have none

for

7%e Flam-Deaier] ax

fbc yoti ? Let's fee — r-firft, what ^yc think of Dref-
fing m^ iuie Clo'achs ?

Civ. Drcffing f Fie, fie, 'tis my Averfibh. But^
come hither, you dowdy, mithinks yon might havo
open'd this Toure b^tt^r : O hideous ! I cannot fufier
if.' D'ye fee how't fits ? ,

Elix.. Well enough, Coufin, if Df^ffing be your
Averfibn. ,.,.-,,

Olhi. *Tis fo : and for variety of rich aoaihs, they
are more tny Averfioh.

Let. Ay, 'tis becaufe your Ladyftiip wears 'em tpb
long ; for indeed a down, like a Gallant, grbws one's
Averfion, by having too mticfi of ir.

Oliv. Infatiable Creature! Ill be fworn t have ha4
this not above thr^c Days, Coufin, and Vvichin tlUi
Month have made (bme fix mor^.

£/i%. Then your Averfion %6 'em is notaUogetlierfb

great- , . . ■ ,

Ol$v. AUs ! vi for My Wbi&aia oAIy I «reac *edi^
Coufin.

Ur. If it be for me only, It^dam, pray do not
wear *em. •

Elix.. But what d'ye think 6f Vlfiti— ^BAllS-^ —

Oliv. O, I deleft W.

mix.. Of Plays.

Ol'tv. I abominate 'eth : Filthy, bbfcene, hide6tiif
things.

mx^ What fay you to Mafnmd^ng iil ^he Winter>
and Hide-Tark in the Summer t

dliv. Infipid Pleafures I tafte not.

Eliz.. Nay, if yon are for more folid Pleafnrei^
what think you of a rich young Husband ?

OHv. O hofrid ! Marriage I What a Plcafore yoa
have found out ! I naufeate ic of all thin^.

Llttf Bat what does your Ladyfhip think thed of i
liberal, handfoiri young Lover ?

oiiv. A handfom, young Fellow, you Impudent!
fie gone, out of my fight j name a handfom young
Felktwtoitie! Foh> A hideous handfom yoang Fel-
low I aboftdftaitc. C^^*-

t^ Jht TlatH'Jjealer.

Eluu Indeed! J>iK let's fee— will nbtUog pleaW
you? What d'ye think of the Court? '.

OUv. flow i the Cqort ! the Coure, CooHn ! my'
Ave^doii^ Itiy ATerlioiii .niy Arerflon of all Arer->
fioijs. ■ .' , ,

Eliz. How? the Court'! where— —^"

Olfv, .Where Sincerity is a Qoality as ont of Fafhf-'
on, snd as unprofpeioDs, as Balhfulnefs ; I cou'd noc
lapgh 9t a Quibble, tho' it were a fat Privy Counfel-
lor's ; nor praife a Lord's ill Verfes, tho' I were my
felf theSubjei^j nor an old lady's young; Looks, tho*
j were her Woman ; nor fit to a vain young SmiU-
maker y tho' he flatter'd me j in fhort, I cou'd not glote
vpon 9 Mv\ whvn he comes into a Room, and laugh
at bint when he goes out j I cannot rail at the abfent,
to flatter the ft.ahders by, I — — —

ZUx^ W^, but railing now is fo common, that 'tis

no more Malice, but the Falhion, and the abfenc

V think they are.no n\ore. th? worfe for being rail'd at,

than the prefent chink they're the better fOr being f^t-

ter'd : Apd fqr the Court -r ~ j

Oliv. Nay, do not defend the Cour^ for you'U
make in9 r»l at it, IMie a (pftlng Citizen s Widow.

Elix.. Or like a /To/ioarn-Lady, who cou'd not get
in to the laft Ball, or was ont of Countenance in the
^raw^Og-room the ]s& Sunday of her appearance
there ,- lor none rail at the <iourt, but thofe who can-
lot g^ ioeo it. or elfe who are ri^culous when they
are there j and I fhall fufpe^ you were laugh'd ac
when you were laft there, or wou'd be a Maid of
Hanqur-

oliv. I A Maid of I^ociour! To be a Maid of Ho-
ijitwr w^ y« of all. things my Averfion.

Eiix^ln vvhat Seqfe am I tau.nderfta[id you ? But,
W fine;, fe'.'the liVoc^J Av^rfion, I'm fore yQudiflfcin-
ble,- for I never knew 'Womari y.ec'us'd it, who did
aot. Qone^ our Ton|;iies bely our Hearts, more
than our Po(;liec<-g,Wes d^ our Face^^ ^^^ metbinla
we oiJght let leave (?ff diffepibling, fipce 'tip grown
of ^ ule to us j for atr ^ife Obfetv^s. uA^^rftaiid at

now

The PUin-Deaier. ij

havt a-days, as they do Dreams, Almadacks, and
Ditfei Gtniettesf by the contrary : And « Man no more
bdieres a Woman, when fh« fays 0ic has an Aver-
fioD ibr him^ than when fhe fays Ihe'll cry out.

Oiiv. O filthy, hideous! Peace, Coufm, or ypar
Zliicoiirfe will be my AverJlon ; and yoa may beliere
me. .

&iz. Yes i for, if any thiog be a 'Woman's Atcf*
fion, 'tis VUia-Dealiag from acpther Woman : and per-
haps that's your Qaarrel to the World, for that wilt
talk, as yoQi Woman fays.

Oliv. Talk not of me fure j for what Men do I CQn-;
vexie witfa ? what Vifits do I admit ?
Enttr Boy.

St}. Here's the Gendeman to wait upon yoQ, Ma-
dam.

Olh. On me! you little unthinking Fop, d'ye
kopw whgt yoQ tay ?

A17. Y^, M3^9ia, 'tis ^^ Geatteman that comes
CTery Pay to yo^i, >vhow ■ i-t*-

oliv. Hold y(>ar peace, you heedlefs little Animal,'
and get you gone. Thi» Cpuntry-Boy, Goafm, takes
my Dandng-M^^r, Taylor, or the fpruce MiUiner,
for Vifiters. [_Exit Bey,

Lit. No, ^,(adam, 'tis Mr. Wwj, tin fure, by iur
talking fo Iwd : I.kpov his y<9dce tQp, Madam.

O/py. You know np?lj^nfi» you tuffle-headcd, flu-
pid Creature you j you woU'd make my Coufin bcn
lieve il receive V^ifit^ : Sfi^ if it. be Jjtir-— '-"What did
yoa call him ? , i

.i«(. Mr. N*w/, 64^49^, hefhat hi '■ — • , .

0/*w. Hold your ipeaCf^ -J'lljjear 110 more of him/
feut if it be your Mr.— f I cannot chink of his Nami*
again ) I fnppofe he hgs .iollow,'d ray Coufin hither.

&iz^ No, Coufin, I iwiU ijot rob yoa of the Ho-
lioMr of the Vilic :. '^\s tp ypp, Coufin, for I know
him pot.

Okv. Nor did I ever hear of -him before, upon xt\^

Honour, Coufin j befides^ ban't I cold yoa, that Vi-

ks, and the Bufinef} of Vifus, Flattery a^d piSfraf

C z <5aonf

14 The Plain-Detikf.

^oinj'are niy Averfion ? D'ye think thenlivbtiM"
admit fuch a Coxcomb as he is ? who, rather than
not rail, will rail at the Dead; whom none fpeak ill
of ,- and rather than not flatter, will flitter the Poets
of the Age, whom none will flatter; who affeds No-
velty as much as the Fafhion ; and is as fantaftical as
changeable, and as well known as the Fafhion ; who
Hkes nothing but what is new ; nay, wou'd chufe to
have his Friend, or his Title a new one. In fine, he
is my Averfion.

Eliz,. I find, you do know him, Coufin; at leail,
have heard of Bm.

Oliv, Yes, now I remember, I have heard of him.

Eliz.. Well ; but fince he is fuch a Coxcomb, for
Heaven's fake, let him not come up j tell him,- Mrs.
Lttticif your Ladyis not within.

jO/(V.' No, Ltttkt, tell him, my Confin is here, and
that he may come, up ; for notwithftanding Ideteft
the fight of him, you may like his Converfation, and
tho' I wou'd ufe him fcurvity, I will not be rude to
you, in my own Lodging ; fince he has foUow'd you
hither, let him come up, i fay.

Eliz,. Very fine! Pray let him go to the Devil, I
fay, for me : I know him noCj, nor defve it. Send
him away, Mrs.Lerrw.

Oliv. IJpon my Word, Ae Ihan't : I muft difobey
your Commands, to comply with your Defires. Call
him up, Lettice.

Elk.. Nay, 111 fwcar flie fhall not ftir on that Er-
rand, f Holds Lettice.

Oliv. Well then, I'll call him my felffor you, fince
you will have ic fo. Mr. Kivf/, [^CaUimtettbeVoer.'}
Sir, Sir.

Enter Novel.

Niv. Madam, I beg your Pardon, perhaps you were
bufie: I did not think you had Company with you.

Eliz. Yet He comes to me, Coufiij I £ Jfiit.

Oliv. Chairs there. \_7^fit.

Nov. Well ; but. Madam, d'ye know whence I
come now i

Oliv.

the ThhfDealer. i^

. O/w. From .fome melanchoUy Place, I warrant,
^, Jince they have loft your good Compaay.

Eliz^ So.

Nev. From a Place, where they hate treated me,
at Dinner, with fo much Civility and Kindnefs, a
Pox on *em, that I con'd hardly getaway to you,
dear Madam.

OWv. You have a way with you fo new, and oblig-.
iog. Sir.

£/;?,. Yon hate Flauery, Coulin. \A^ to Olivia.

Nov. Nay, Faith, Madam, d'ye think my way
new? then you are obliging, Mai^m. I mufl con-
f^fs, I hate Imication, to do any thing like other Peo-
ple : All that l^aow nje^ do me the Honour to fay, I
am an Original, Faith ; but as I was faying, Ma>
dam, 1 have been treated to Day, with all the Cere-
mony and Kin^neis imaginable, at my Lady Amumj :
but the naufeous old Woman at the upper end oi
her Table ■

Oliv, Revives the old Grecian Cullom, of ferving in
a Death's Head with their Banquets.

Nov. Hah I ha I 6ne, juft i faith j nay, and new ^
Tis like eating with the Ghofi in the libertine ; Ihe
wou'd frighten a Man from her Dinner with her hol-
low Invitations, and fpoil one's Stomach —

. OUv. To Meat or Women. I deteft her hollow
cherry Cheeks ; {he looks like an old Coach new
painted : afiedmg an anfeemly Smugnefs, whilft ihe
u ready to drop in pieces.

Eia^ You hate Detradion, I fee, Coufin.

r Apart to Olivia.

Nov. But the filly old Fury, whilft Jhe affefts to
look like a Woman of this Age, talks

bliv. Like one of the laft ,- and as paffionately as
an old~Courtier, who has out liv'd his Otiice.

Nov. Yes, Madam j but pray let me give you , her
CfaaraAer. Then Ihe never counts her Age by the
Yean, bat

OUv. By the Mafques ihe has Uv'd to fee.

Nov. Nay then. Madam, I fee you think a little
C J Harm-

iS - ne Tlain-IHiltr.

harmkfs railing tot. great j Pleafure for any b« your
felf, and therefOMl'Te done. „ . / .

6uv. Nay, faith, you (hall tell me who you ha^
there at Dinner. ',, j

■ tTin/. If you woi'd hear me, Ma«am.
• oUv. Moft patiently : fpeakj-Sir. .
Ntv. Then, we had her Daughter——
oti-a. Ay, her Daughter, the v«fydilgrac« to gooS
Cloaths, which Ihe always wears, but to heighten her
dEfdrmity, not mend it ; for Art is ffill moft fplen-
didly, gallantly ugly, and looks lik« an Ul pi»ce of
asuhing in a rich Frame. ,, , »

Nev. So! But have yon done with her. Madam t
ini can you fpare her to me a Ifttli now I

oiiv. Ay, ay, Sh-. • '

Nm. Then, He is like ' '

0/if . She is, you'd fay, like a City Bride,-the gtix-^

ter Fottunej But (tot the greater Beauty, for her Drefi.

Nov. Well : yet have you done. Madam ? Thei?

fts , > ,_

Oliv. Then (he beftows .as niifortunately on her
face, all the Graces ih fafliion , as the langnilhing
fcye, the hanging or pouting Lip j but as the Fool is
never mote provokiiJg khan When he aims at Wit, the
ill-favour'd of our Sex are never more naufeom than
when they wnu'd be Beauties, adding to their natural
peformity, the artWcirfl UgUnefs of Afeaation.

E/ic. So, Couiin, I find one may have a Colleaion
of all ones Acquaintances Piftures as well at your
Houfe^ as at Mt.ityS; only the diiference is , there
■We fitid 'em imjch handfomer than they are, and like;
flere, much uglier, and like : and you are the firft of
the ProfelEon of ^aurtdrawing I e»«r knew W5th«
out Flattery.

Oliv. 1 draw afttr the lift ; do no Body wtoiij;
Ctofih.
£&. No, you hate Flattery and Detraflion !
oliv. But Mr. »■»<;, who had you betides at Dinner^
l^ey. Nay, the Devil take me if I tell- yon , solefs
ysu *in allow me tW: Privilege of taiUngjn my turn ;

The Tta'tifDealer, xj

but^ BOW I think on'c, the Women ought to be yons
ProTiace^ as the Men are mtoe :, and yoK mu(l know
we had him whom—

Oiiv. Him, whom— —

Nei/'. ^hatj invading me already ? And giving thQ
piaxaOer, before yoi; know-the Man ?

•£^3;. yiOf that is not fair, tho' it be ufual.

Oliv. 'X beg your Pardon, Mr. Neveli pray go wi,

Npv. Then, I f^y^wc had that familiar Cp^comb^
yrko is ac Home wherefoe'rie he cohiet.

OJiv. Ajr, th^t Fool<

Nov. Nay, then Madam yonr Servant: I'li} gone.
Taking the Fool out of ones Month, is worfe than
taking the Bread out of ones Mouth.

OUv. I've done, your Pardon j Mr. JfiWe/^ pray
proceed. '. - ■;

Nov. I fay, ike Rogney tha( he may be i^he only
Vit in Company, will let no,£ody elfe talk, and — •

Oliv. Ay , thofe Fops who. love , to talk all thamt
felvesj are of all things my Averlion. , . .

Nov. Then you'll let me fpea^, Madam, fan!,. The
Rogue, liay, will force hisjeft uppnyoa; and I hate
a Jeft that's forc'd upon a Map, as much asaGlaf^

£/i«. Why, I hope^ Sir, he does not expe*^ ^ V>tt
ofyonr temperance in Jefting (hou'd do him re^jbja i

hfev. What ? interruption from this fide to? i I
moil then — tOffen to rift, OKvia bbUt him.

oliv. No, Sir,-T-^ou mnft know,Courm,thac Fpp
he means, tho' he talks only to be co^nmendedj wiU
not give you teave to do't.

Nov. But, Madam— r

Oliv. He a Wit I Hang tnm, he*s only an Adoptej
of ftragling Jefls, and fathcrlets Lampoons j by the
Credit of which, he eats at good Tables, and fo like
the barren Beggar- woman,lives by borrow'd Children.

Nov. Madam— 7

Oliv. And nevec was^ Author of any thing bat his
News ; but that i? ilill all his own. , ..

Nov. Madanij pray— 7-

C4 ^ '0/k

a8 The Flam Dealer.

' '0Uv..kn eternal Babler; and makes iio more nfet
orhis^ars, than a Man that (its at a Play liy his Mi-
ftrefs, or in Fop-corrier ; He's, in fine, a bafe detra-
dtng Fellow, and b ray Averfion. But who elfe
prithee, Mr. Noxiel, wa? there with you ? Nay, you
fljan!t ftir.

Nov. I Jjeg your pardon, Madam, I pannot flay in
any place, where I'm not allow'd a little phrinidn
liberty of Railing.

OUv. Nay, prithee Mr. Now/, flay j and tho' you
fliou'd rait at me , 1 wou'd hear yon with Patience ;
prithee who elfe was there with yoa ?
' Nov. Y out Servaht, Madam.

Oliv. Nay, prithee tell us, Mr. Novel, prithee do.

Nov. We had no Body elfe.

OUv.' Nay, faith I know you had. Come, my Lor4
Tlattjihle was there top,- who is Coufin, a — ^-
' K/i::. You need not tell me what he is, Coultn, foe
I know him to be a civil , good-natur'd, harmlefi
Gentleman, that fpeaks well of all tlje World, and is
always in good Humour, and-^—
' Oliv. Hold, Coufin, hold, I hate detraftion ; but
I mull tell you, Coufin, his Civility, is Cowardife ^
his good Nature, want of Wit j and h^ neitt^erCoB-
fa'gft or Senfe to rail : And for his'being always in
Humour, 'tis becaufe he is never difTatisfied with
tiimfelf'. Inline, he is my Averfion, and I never ad-
mit Hi Vifits beyond my Hall.
' Nov. No, he vilit you ! Damn him, cringing, grin-
ning Rogue j if flhou'd fee him coming op to you, I
wou'd make bold to kick him down ag^in. H4 !— 7

Ent^r tpy Lord Plaufible.
My dear Lord, your jnoft hurrible Servant.

" [lU/w, and falutts 'Ph.liiihXCj and iijfes him.

Elix,. So , r find kiffing and railing fucceed each
other with the angry Men, as well as with t^e angry
Women j and their Quarrels are like Lpve- quarrels,
lihce abfencle is the only caufe of them ; for as foon
as the Man appears agaui, they ate over. iJJidi.

^ TUuf. Yonr fftoQ. feitbfnl, hsmble Serr^nt, ge-
oerous Mr. Nove/j and Madam,. I am your eternal'
Slave, and kifs yoar /^ir Hands j. which I h^d dpne
fboner, ' according to your Commands, but-;— x- -

Oliv. No ExcuTes, my Lord.

iMz.. What, yo^fent for hiip tben, Confin? \_^AfaTt'.

Nov. Ha ! invited I {.-^JiJt.

Oliv. I know you muft divide your felf> forypur-
good Company is too general a gppd tp be ingjxii&'d
by any particular Friend-

L. VUttf. O Lord, Madam, my Cpmpany ! ypop
moft obliged, faithful, bumble Servant ; bat I cou'd
have brought you good Company indeed, fpr 1 part-
ed at your Door wich two of the worthieft, braveft
KJen

Oliv. Who were they, my Lord ?

Nov. Who do you call the worthieft, braveft Men^
pray ?

L. Plauf. O the wifeft, braveft Gentlemen ! Men
Qf fnch Honour and Vertue !',of fuch good .Qua-:
lities ! ah

Eiix,. This is a Coxcomb that fpeaksill of 'alt Peo-
ple a different Way, and Dbels every Body with dull
Praife, and commonly in the wrong Place, fom^ker
his Panegyricks abufive Lampoons. '{^AJidt.^

Oliv. But pray let me know who they were ?

L. PUmf. Ah ■' fnch Patterns of Heroick Vertue !
f,ch^

Nov. Well, but who the Devil were they ? . . . ,

L. TUuf. The Honour of our Nation, the Gloiy
of our Age ! ah, I cou'd dwell a Twelvemomh on*
their praife ; which indeed 1 might fpue by telling
their Names : Sir John CHrrtnty and Sir Richard Cemt-
TuU.

Nov. Ceitrt-TttU ! Ha, ha.

OUv. And Sir John Current ! Why will you keep
fach a Wietch Company, my Lqrd ?

^ L. TUmf. O, Madam, ferioufiy you are a little too
ievere j for he i$ a Man of unqac^on'd Reputatioa
in cveiy thing,

' Oliv.

OUv. Yes, becaolfe he endeavours oflly with the
Women, to pafi for a Man of Courage j and with the
"BaWits for a Wi^ •' with the Whs for a Man of Bufi-
nefs j' and with the Men of Bnlinefs, for a Favourite
ttt Court : and at Court, for gcJbd City-fecurity,

Ntm. And for* Sir Kichardt he-r-^

■ L.?iauf. He loves your choice,' plck'd Company i
P&rfoiis that — -'

Oliv. He I6Ves a'Lord indeed ; bat '>

Nov. Pray, dear Madam, let me hare but a bold
llroke or two at hu Pidare. He loves a Lord, as.
yott fey, tho'—

Oliv. Tho* he borrow'd Hi Money, and ne*er paid
him again. ■•'-■■

Nov. And wou'd befpeak a Place three Days be-^
fore at the back-end of a Lord's Coach to Hidt-ParL

L. Tlauf. Nay, i'faidi, i'feith , you are both too.
fevere..

oiiv. Then, to ihew yet more his'l^flion for Qua-
lify, he makes lore to that fulfbme Coach-load of
Honour, my Lady. Goodly j for h^'s always at her
(Lodging.

L. ?lauf. Becanfe it is the Conventicle-Gallant,, the
Meecing-hoiife of all the fair Ladles, and glorious,
fuperfine Beauties of the Town. .

Ww.' Very fine" ladles ! there's' firft- —

■ O/iV.'Her Honour, as fat as ^n Ifloftefs.

L. Plattf. She is fomething plump indeed, a goodly,"
comely,- "gtacefiitPerfbh. ■

' ^ev. Then thfife^s hi Lady Francet. what d'ye cidl
Hef?^ugly^,'" '■■■-:■"' ■;

'Oliv.. As a 'Ciri^&iis (awfully begotten feaughtef.
' Z. Plauf. She^as W^t in abundance ; and the hand-
fomeft Heel, Elbow, and tip of an Ear, you ever faw.
Noxf. Heel and Elbpw ! ha ! ha I And there's my
laSy Betfy you krrow-p- —

Oliv. As (luttift and flatteftily, 'as^an M^ Woman"
bred in p^anee. ' ' ^

*' X. VUuf. 'Ah! aH fte has hangs wUh a loofc Air in-^
clecd^ and becoming negligence.

The Plain-Dealer. ^I

Elfib Von fte alt Fuiks with Lovers Eyes, t Sad,
my Lord.

L. Plauf. Ah, Madam, ycmt nu^ obliged, ^ithftii;
faonUe Senrant to comtftand ! Bat yoa can (ay no*
tteng fwe agakift the fupcilTtie N^refs — ^.

oSv. I know who you mean. She is as«en(brioqt
gnd detraSing a Jade, as a fuperannuated Sinner.

L. Vltuf. She has a fmart Way of Railery, 'tis confeft

.Npv. And ^a fot Mrs. GriitHiK.

L. 7lauf. She I* fure is

O/Jv. One tfaac never fpoi[e SI of any Body, 't!s
oonfeft ; for ibs is ais filent in Coitrerfbtion as a Got»t<
try 'lover, and no better Company than a Clock, 'Or
a Westhet-glafs ,* for if fte founds, 'tis but once ati
HoRr,ce put ytoa Sa mind ^ the titne of Day,<ii'td,telt
yoa 'twin be Cold or Hoc, Rain of Snow. "

Z. P'<i<^ Ah, poorC«atur9 ! Ae'^ e^treanly goM
^dmodeft.

ittv. And ftjT Mrs; BriJkchiii, ffi«'*— — *■ '

Ofiv. As proud at a Cbnrchman's Wife. '' !' "

L.Tlauf. She's i Woman of great Spirit and Honour,'
an^will not make herfdlf €htap, *tii trae.

Uov. Then Mrs. HcyJen, that calls all People try theft
^niaines, and is— -

0/iv. As^Mtuliar a Duck— '

Nov. As an ^ Aftrefs in the Tyi4tig room. -'TFfwttt
I was once bef^tf'hand with you. Madam* > ' ^

L. TUt^. Mrs. Htirden ! a prof j afiable, good^niatar'cl
Soul: But the Divine 'Mti.Tri'fie comes thirtwr too ;
fure her Btta'Bty, Venue^ and Condaft, you can fay
nothing to.

Oliv. No ! ■

Nw. No! — ^Pray let me fpeak,- Madam: .

O/iv^Firfl, can any one be call'd Beautiful that
^dnts 7 ■

L. TUuf. Her Eves langailh a little, I own.

Kdv. Languifh \ ha, ha.

Qiliv. Langaifli.' Then, for her Condod, ibetf»
feeti at the Ctknhy^Wft after che firft Day. There'*
for von, my Lord.

p Tht Vhiti'VeaUr,

L.'Flaaf. Boc, Madaffl, Ifae w^snotfeen tottreher-
Fan all the Play long, turn alide her Headj or by sft
^nicious'blufh difcover more guile than modefty.

Oliv, Very fine ! then you tnink a Woman moijeft^
that fees the hideons Gnuntry-ffife, without blufiung^
pr publifhiog her peteftation of it ? D'ye he^i him ^
Coufm ?

EliTi. Yes ; and am> I mufi CQnfefs> fomething of
his Opinion, and ^bink tbat asfan over-cpnfdpus Fool
at a Play, by endeavouring to^ fbew ihQ Author's
want pf Vit-expofp; his own to- mor^ Gei^nre : Co
xnsy.a Lady call. her own Modefty in.queftion, by
pvbU^ly cavilling with the Poets ; for all thofe grt^
maces.of Hononr and Artificial Modefty, difparage a
Wb^ian's real Vertue, as much as tbe. Ufe of w^ite
and red does the natural Complexion ; and you mufl
Die veiy, very Iittl^,Jf you. wpa'd b^ye it thought'
your own.

Oliv. Then youwou'd hare a Woman of Honour
with pallivQ Looks, Ears and Tongue, undergo all the
^eous.Obfcenity fliei hears at n^y Plays.

Eli^i. Truly I thipk a Woman betrays her wane of
•^pdeJly, by fliewing it pnblickly in a Play-Houfc^ as
much as a Man does his want of Courage by a Quar-
rel there ; for the truly Modeft aqd Stcut fay l^aft,
^nd are lealt exceptions, efpeclally in. Publick-

Oliv. Q hideous '■ Cpu^^ this cannot be your Opi*
Tttfmi but ypu are one of thofe who have the confi-
dence to pardon the filthy Play.

Eliz^ Why, what is there of ill in't, fay you?

Oliv. O fie, fie, fie, wou'd you put me to the Blulh
anew ? call all the Blood into my Face again ? But, to
fatisfie you then,, firll the clandeiline oblcenity4n the
yery Name of Herner. ,

££2;. Truly, 'tis fo hidden, I cannot find it OQQ
I confels.

Oliv. O horrid ! does it not give you the rank
Conception, or Im^ge of a Goar, or Town- Bull, > or
» Satyr ? nay, what is yet a. filthier Image th^a .9$
the reft, that of an Eumicb i

EUx^ What

Tbt PlaiH'Deaiefl jj

'Eliz. Whae then ? I can think of a 6oai, d Ballj oc
3 Satyr, without any hurt.

OHv. I, but CouHn, ooe-ctflnot fiop therd.

Elix^ I can, Coufin.

Oliv. O »o ; for when you have thofe filthy Crea-
tures in yoar Head once, the next -thing yon think, is
whit they do j as their defiling of honen Mens Bedt'
and CouchesjRapffs upon fleeping and wakinig Conn-
try-Vii^tns, under Hedges and on Haycocks : nay,
farther

Eliz^ Nay> no farther , Confln , we have enough
of your Comment on the Play, which will make me
more afliam'd than the Play it felf. '

0/iv. O, believe me, 'tis a filthy Play, and yon
may take my word for a. filthy Play, as loon as ano-
then ; but the filthieft thing in that Play^ or any o-
therPlay, is ,

Elk^ Pray keep it to your felf, if it be fo.

Ofiv, No, feith, you flialt know it, I'm relbh'd to
make yon out of love with the Play, I fay, the lewd-
efl, filthieft thing, is his Chh* ; nay, I will never
foi^c the beafliy Author his China : he has quite ta-
ken away the Reputation of poor China it felf, and
fally'd the moft innocent and pretty Furniture of a
Ladies Chamber,- infomuch, that I was fain to break
alt my defil'd VelTels. Yon fee I have none left ; nor
yon, I hope.

£/(£. You'll pardon me, I cannot think dt« worfe
of my China for that of the Play-Houfe.

Oliv. Why, you will not keep any now fure! 'tit
now as unfit an Ornament for a Ladies Chamber, as
the Piftures that come from ItaJji , and other hoe
Countries, as appears by their nuditieE,which I always
cover, or fcratch out, wberefoe're 1 find 'em. But
Clma ! out upon't , filthy China 1 nafty , debauch'd
China !

Elit^ All this will not put me oat of conceit with
China, nor the Play, which is aaed to Day, or ano"
ther of the fame beafliy Autbon, as you call Hw,
which I'Jl golise.

j4 'Be ttam-Dtaier.

OUu. Voa will HOC fore .' tayj J'on Aa' not vemaref
your Reputation W going, and mine by leaving m^
alone with two %un heie : ti^y, you'll difoblige sne
for ererj if — '■ ' \VuSt her lacks

Elinf,. I ftty — --yettr Servant. [JSxit Eliza.

diiv. Well— but, tay Lord, though you ^ofiifie ere—
ry Body, yon (cannot in e^rneft uphold fo beaftly s
Writer, whf^e Ink is fo fmufty, as one may fay.

L. ?Unf. F^th, J dare fwear the poor Man did not
think to difoblige the Ladies, by any anuuoos', &fr,
palBonitfe, lufdous Saying in Us Play.

OUv. Foy, my Lord j hnt what think yon, Mr. jN#-
velf of the Flay ? tho' I know you are a Friend to
aU that are new.

Nov. Faith, Madam, I mnil confefsjitbe new Plays
wou'd not be the worle for my Advice, but. I cou i|
nerer get the Jilly Rogues^ the Poets, to mind what
I fay ; but I'll tell yon what Coonfel J gave nhe fuily
tooi you fpake pf.

OUv. What was't ? * :

Nov. Faith, to put his Play into Rhyme ; forR.hyiT»^,
yon know, often makes royftical NouTence pafs with:
the Criticks for Wit, and a double meaning fayiiig
with il»« ladies, for foft, tender, and moving Paffion.
But now I talk of P^iSt^i^ I faw your o^i Lover thi*
Momiog — -Captain iH^ifffru

SfiHr. Captain Manly, Ffe«tfSTO a9i Fidelia'
JlanJittg kfhiaJ,

oHv. Whom? -^By, you wad not whifper.

Man. We ate luckily got hither unobierv'd:— Howl
in a clo& ConverFation with thefe f^p^e B.afi»l$, ^
out-caits of SempftreHes Shops.

Free. Faith, pardon her. Captain , that fine* fte
cou'd no longer be entertun'd ,witt> yQHr miioly
BluntneQ, and honeit Love, Hie takes up with tH
fen chat and common i^ce flattery of tbefe fljit-
t«iiog Parrots of the Town, A^ gsd Ecchp's of
M«ii only.

Man, Do not you^ Sir, play the Bocfap too, nippfe

me,

IMttatn-Deauf.

;y

ine, iafly with my own Words, and lliew your felf

as'imperaoent as they are,

Fnt-H^y, Gaptaia ;

Til Nay, Lieatenanc, do fiot Axcnfe her, metblob
fteJooks very kindly upon 'em both* and leems to be
pleas'd with what that Fool there fays to her.

Man. You lye. Sir, and hold your peace, that I
may not be provok'd to give you a worfe repW.

Olfv. Manly retnrn'd, d'ye lay ! And is he iafe ?

Nov. My lord faw him too. Hark yon, my Lor£
[fFbiffert tt Plaufible.

"Man. She yet feems concern'd for my fafety, and
perliaps they are admitted now here but for theic
News of me j for Intelligence indeed is the commoo
Pafsport of naufeons Fools, when they go their round
of good Tables and Houfes. {jifide.

Oliv. I heard of his fighting only, without parti-
culars, and confefs I always lov'd his brutal Courage,
becaufe it made me hope it might rid me of his more
brutal Love.

Man. What's that ? ^JparU

Oliv. But is he at lad return'd, d'ye (»y, unhurt ?

Nev. Ay, faith, without doing his bufinefs, for the
Rogue has been thefe two Years pretending to a
wooden Leg, which he woo'd take from Fonune, as
kindly as the Staff of a Marflial <^ France, and rather
read his Name in a Gazet

Oliv. Than in the Entail of a good Eflate.

Man. So !- — — ■ iJ/iJe:

Nov. I have an Ambition, I mnft confefs, of lofine
my Heart before fuch a fair. Enemy as your fel^
,Madam, but that filly Rogues ihou'd be ambitious of
lofing their Arms, and

Oliv. Looking tike a pair of CompalTes.

Nev. But be has no ufe of his Arms, but tofet 'em
onKimbow, for he never pulls off* his Hat, at leait^
not to me , I'm fare ; for you muft know, Madani,
he has a fanatical hatred to good Company : he can't
abide me.

L. Flauf. O, be not fo fevere to him, as to fey hie

hates

'^6 The PUiihbealer:

hafes gobd Company : for I altiire you, fi6 has a grea^

refpet^, efteetn and kindnefs for me. ,

Mam. That kind, civil Rogue has fboken yec ten
thoofand times worfe of me, than t'other.

Oliv. Wellj.if he beteturn'd, Mt. Novel, thenfliall
I be pcfler'd again with hisboiflerous Sea-Lovej har^-
Iny Alcove fmell like a Cabin, Iny Chamber perfQm'd
whb his Tarpanlin Brandenbargh, and hear Vollies
«f Brandy Sigbs,eDough to make a Fog in ones Rooni.
Foh, I hate a Lover that finells like "names- firee't.

Man, I can bear no longer, and need hear no
more. {_AfiJe,

But,(inceyoil hare theretwoPulvilIioBoxes,thefe£f-
fence Bottles, this pair of Mosk-C^ here, I hope I
may venture to comd yet nearer you.

Oliv. Over-heard as then .'

Uev. I hope he heard me not. {_^JiJe.

L. VUuf. Mofl Koble and Heroick Captain, yoar
nofl oblig'd, faithful, humble Servant.

Nov. Dear Tar, thy humble Serrant.
■ Man. hvizy Madam ■

Oliv. Nay, I think I have htted you for liftning.

[^brufit Novel and Flauflble M eaebjU*.

Man, You have Etted irie, for believing you cou'd
sot be fickle, tho' you were Young^ con d not dif-
fembte Love, tho' 'twas yoiir Interen ; nor be vain,
tho' you were Handfome j ndr breali your Promife,
<ho' co,a parting Lover j nor abufe your befl Friend i
Iho' you had Wit : but I take not your contempt of
me worfe, than your efteeni, or civility for tKefs
(lungs here, tho' you know 'eni.

¥iov. Things !

h. Tlauf. Let the Captain railly a little;

Man. Yes, things ; canft thou be angry,thou thfiig?
[Coming up to NoTCl.

Nov. No, fince my Lord fays you fpeak in Raille-
xy ; for tho' your Sea-raiUery be fomething rough,
ycE I cofifefs, we ufe one another to as bad every
Day at l^fcket't^ and never quarrel for the Matter.

The plain- Dealifl ■^?

L. Tlanf. Nay, n&blc Captain, be not angry with
him i A word with yon, 1 befeech you — '-^-^

Iff biff trs to Manly.

Oik/. Well, we Womenj like the reft of the Cheats
of the World, when our Cullies ot Creditofs hava
found as out, and will, or can tmft no longer,
pay Debts, and fatislie Obligations, with a Quar-
rel, the kindefl Prefent A Man can make to his Mt-
flrefs, when he can make no more Pfefents : ^ot
often times in Love, as at Cards, we ate forc'd to
play foal, only to give over the Game j and ufe our
Lovers like the Cards^ when we can get no more by
'em, throw 'em up in a Pet, upon the firft Difpute.

S^M. My Lord, all that yoii have made me know
by your whifpering, which I knew not before, is, that
you have a ftinking Breath, there's a Secret for your
Secret.

L. Plauf. Pftiaw ! PihaW !

Matt. But, Madam, tell me, pray, what was't about
this Spark could take you? Was it the Merit Of hi»
fafhiooable Impudence, the Brisknefs of his Moife,
the Wit of his Laugh, his Judgment, or Fancy in his
Gamitnre ? Oi was it a well-trim'd Glovs, or th«
Scent of it that charm d you i

Nov. Very well, Sir, 'gad thefe Sea-Captains make
nothing of Dreffing : But let me cell you. Sir, a Man
by his Drefs, as much ai by any thing, fliews his Wii
and Judgment ; nay, and his Courage too.

Frte. How, his Courage, Mr. Noiiel ?

N»v. Why, for Example, by red Breeches^ tack'd
up Hair or Perake, a greaiie broad Belt, afld now
a days a fhort Sword. ^

Man. Thy Courage will appear more by thy Belf;
than thy Sword, 1 dare fwoan Then, Madam, for
this gentle Piece of Courtefie, this Man of taraeHo-
nonr, what cou'd you find in him ? Was it his lan-
gnifbing affeAcd Tone ? his mannerly Look ? his fe-
cond-faand Flattery ? the Refufe of the Play-Houfe
Tyring-rooms i ot his flavifli Obfequioufnefs, in
D waicl**

55 Jbt Platit-Dealer.

watjcMng at the Door of yoarBox at the Play-Hbtrle^
for your Hand to your Chair ? or his jaoty way of
playing with your Fan? or was it the Gun-Powder
Spot on his Hand, or the Jewel in his Ear, that pur-
idias'd your Heart ?

Oliv. Good jealous Captain, no more of your — —

L. Vlguf. No> let him go on. Madam, for perhaps
he may make you laugh ; And I wou'd conchbute to
yoor Pleafure any way.

Man. Gentle Rogue I

Oliv. No, noble Captain, you cannot fore think
^ny thing con'd take me more than that Heroick Ti-
tle of yours. Captain ^ for you know we Women lore
Honour inordinately.

N(^. Ha, ha, F^th JBe is wich the^ Bully, for thy
Railerjr.

Man. Faith fo ibill I be with you, no-Bully, for
your grinning. [ Afi^e to ^^vel.

Oliv. Then that noble Lyon-Iike Meen of yours,
that Soldier like Weather-beaten Complexion, and
that manly Roughnefs of your Voice ; how can they
otherwife than ch»m us Women, who hate EfleniB-
nacy!

Nov. Ha, ha. Faith I can't hold from laughing.

Man. Nor ihall I from kicking anon. [Afidt to NoveL

Oliv, And then, that Captain-like Carelefnefs in
yourDrefs, but efpecially your Scarf,* 'twas juft fncb
another, only a little higher ty'd, made ^ne in lore
with my Taylor as he paft by my Window the laft
Training-day ; for we Women adore a Martial Man,
and you have nothing wanting to make you mote
one, or more agreeable, but a wooden Leg.

L. Tlauf. Nay, i'faith, chere your Ladyfliip was a
Wag, and it was fine, juft, and well railly'd.
~ Nov. Ay, ay. Madam, with you Ladies too. Mar*
tial Men muft needs be very killing.

Man. Peace, you Bartholenuw-Fair Bufoms, and bt
not yon vain that thefe laugh on your fide, for they
will laug^ at their own dull Jefts j but no more^ of
'em. for I will only fuffer now this Lftdy to be witty
and merryf Olh- You

Tbe p/ain^Dtttler. ^

' olfv. Yoa won*d not have your Psuiegyrick Sater-
THpted. I go on then to your Homoor. Is daereany
thvig more agreeaUe than the pretty SollenaeG c4
tb>f? than tl^ Greacnefs of your Connige^ \Adch
moft of all appears in your Spirit of Coatradi^oo,
for you dare give all Mankind the Lye j and your O-
piuen is your only MiflreTs, for yeu ntnoHaee Atat
toe, when it becomes another Man'ft

JV*v. Hah, ha ! I cannot boM, I ma& laugh at thesj
Tar, Faith!

Z- PUuf, And i'faith, dear Captain, I beg your par*
dna, and Leare to laugh at yoa too, tho' I proteft I
mean you no hare j but, when a Lady Rallies, a
fhuider bye tnnft be complaifaat, and do her J^sfim
ia laDg^g 1 Hah, ha.

A^f Why, yoB. impudent, ^tifiil Wretches, yoa
prefanic f«» epon your Effeminacy to urge me j
for yon are in all things fo like Women, that you Boay
think it in me a kind of Cowardice to beat you.

Oliv. No Hedoring, good Captain.

Mm. Or, perhaps, yon think this Ladies ptctenct.
fecures you j but have a care, ihe has talk'd her fetf
out (tf all the refped I bad for her j and by ufiag me
111 before yon, has given me a Privilege of ufing you
fo before her ; but if you wou'd preferve your refpeA
to her, and irat be beaten before her, go, be gond
immediately.

Nov. Be gone ! what !

L. Tiat^. Nay, worthy, not^, geoeroos Captaiiu

Mm. Be gone, I fay.

Nov. Be gone again ! to us be gone !

Mmi. No chattering, Baboons, inftantlybe gooe^

Or

I [ Manly f Mj 'em out (f tbe Room ;

Novel firutt, Plaufible cringtst

Nm. Well, Kfedam, we'll go make the Cards ready
in yoar Bed-Chamb» : fare yov will not ftay long
vith bam. { Ex. Plattf. Nov.

Oliv. Tarn hUhn- yuir Kage, good Captaia Swag-
gBt-ho?, and be faucy with your M^t^U, like a <rue

40 The Piah-Dealer.

Captdn' ;' but be cifil to your Rivals and Betters, aftd
do not threaten any thiag but me here ; no, not fo
much as my Windows, nor do not think your felf in
the Lodgings of one of yonr Suburb-Mtftrefles be-
yond the Tower.

JM*». Do not give me caufe to think fo, for thofe
lefs infamous Women part with their Lovers, joft as
you did from me," with unforc'd Vows of Conftancy,
a,nd Floods of willing Tears ; but the fame Winds
bear away their Lovers and their Vows : And for theie
Griefj if the credulous unexpeAed Fools return, they
find new Comforters, frelh Cullies, fuch as I found
here. Thi mercenary Love of thofe Women too fuf-
fers Shipwrack with their Gallants Fortunes; now
you have heard Chance has us'd me feurvily, therefore
you do too. Well, perfevere in* your Ingratitude,
callltood and Difdain ; have Conftancy in fomethtngy
and I promife you to be as juA to your real Scorn, as
I was CO your feign'd Love: And henceforward will
defpife, contemn, hate, loath, and deteQ you^ mo£t
faithfully.

Enter Lettice.

0/(17. Get the Hombre-Cards ready in the next
Room, Littket and — ~ [ Whifftrt to Lettice.

Free. Bravely refolv'd. Captain.

Fid. And you'H be fure to keep your Word, I hope.
Sir.

Man. I hope fo too.

Fid. Do you but hope it, Sir ? If you are not as

food as your Word, 'twill be the firft time you ever
rag'd, fure.

Man. She has reftor'd my Reafon with my Heart.

Free. But nowyou talk of reftoring. Captain, there
are other things which, next to one's Heart, one
wou'd not part with i I mean your Jewels and Mo-
ney, which it feemsflte has. Sir.

Man. What's that to you, Sir?

Free. Pardon me, whatfoever is yours, I have a fhare
in't, I'tn fure, which I will not lofe for a; king, tho'
you may be too generous, or too angry now to do't
your felf. Fd. Nay^

The fUin-Vealer. ^^

'&l Nay, then 111 make bold to make my O^m

too. [ Both going towards Olivia.

JUtn. Hold, yon impertinent, <^cious Fops——- -

How have I been deceiv'd ! [v^jWr.

Free. Madam there are certain Appurtenances to a

Lover's Hean, call'd Jewels, which always go along

mth ic

fij. And which, with Lovers, have no valaein
themfelvesj boc from the Heart they come with i our
Captains, Madam, it feems you fcorn to keep, and
much more will thofe worthlefs things wichooc it, I
am confident.
Oiiv. A GetHleman fo well made as yon are^ may

he confident us eafie Women ccu'd not deny

you any thing you ask, if 'twere for your felf ; bar,
fince 'tis for another, I beg yonr Leave to jgive him
my Anfwer. ( An agreeable young Fellow this — ^—
and won'd not be my Averfion ) [ 40^f- 1, Captain,
your young Friend here has a very perfwa'ding Face,
I coniefs i yet you might have ask'd me your, felf for
tiiofe Trifles you left with me, which ( hark you a lit-
tle, for I dare truft you with the Secret ; yon are a
Man of fo much Honour I'm fure ) I fay then^ noc
expe&ing your Return, or hoping ever to fee yon a-
gain, I have deliver'd your Jewels to——*

14/hktoiAtau
Mm. Whom?
Ollv. My Husband !
Man. Your Husband !

Qliv. Ay J my Husband ; for fince yon con'd leave
me, I am lately and privately married to one, vrtra is
a Man of fo much Hononr and Experience in the
World, that I dare not ask hiui for your Jewels again
to reitore *em to you j left he Ihonld conclude you ne-
ver wou'd have parted with 'em to me, on any other
Score, but the Exchange of my Honour: Which rather
tbafiyon'd let me lole, yoa'dlofe I'm fure your felf,
diofe Trifles of yours.
Aian. Triumphant Impndenco ! but married too!

•■ p 3 Oliv, O,

'^% The Tlaht>ealer. "

O/w. Of i^Kok not (b load, my Serrants knew it
nor : I am married ; tfaera's no reflfting one's Deftinyi
Of hofte, yoD know.
. Man. Why did yon love him too i

Oliv. Moft pxffionatdy j nay, lore htm now, tho*
I have njarried him, and he me : which mutual Love,
I hope you are too good, too generous a Man to di-
ftutb, by any faiure Claim, or ri/its to me. 'Tis true,
be is now abfenc in the Country, but returns fliortly j
therefore I beg of yoa^ for your own Eafe and Quiet,
luid my Honour, you will never fee me more.

Man. I wifh I had never Teen you.

Clip. Bat if you Hiould ever hare any thing to fay
to me hereafter, let that young Gentleman there be
yoar Mefibnger.

Mm, Vou wou'd be kinder to bin : lAndbeJhoa'd
he welcome.

Oltv. Alas, hit youth wou'd keep my Husband fron
fufpicions, and his Vifits from Scandal ; for we Wo-
men may have Pity for fuch as he, but no Love : And
I already think yoa do not well to ^rit him away to
£ea, and the Sea is already bat too rich with the
Spoils of the Shoar.

Man. True perfed Woman I If I could iay any

thing more injurious to her now, I wtni'd ^ for 1 qou'4
cmt-nii! a Wlk'd Whore, or a kick'd Coward j but,
now I think on't, that were rather co discover my
Love than Hatred ; and I mufl not talk, for fome-
thing I muft do. f j4Jtde,

Oliv. I thinfc I liave given him eno:^ of roe noWj
ttvet tp be tcoiiticd with him agaia-< '— •

Ewer Lettice,
Vidi, Letttetf steAc Cafds and all ready within ? (
xdnedien. • Captain, I begywir Pardoa : Von wt^
Udt^m^e one at Honbre?

Mm. No, Madskn, Ibot I'U wilb yon a Jktle good
Luck before you go.

'<iU»[>. Ko, if ytuvem^ha.te me .thrir«j Curie ne;
for that you'll do heartily, { foppofe.

The P/am-Dealerl ^^

Mm. TfMd if yos will hare ic fb. May all (he

Caiies light upon yon. Women ought to fear, aod
yoo de&nre ; fiT&, may the Cnrfe of loving Play at-.
ceod your fordid CoTetoafaefs, and Fortune cheat yoa,
by trnfiing to her, as yoa have cheated me ; the Curfe
« Pride* or 8 eppd Reputation, fall on yonr Lvft i
die Curfe of Anedation on your Beauty ; the Carle
of your Husband's Company on your Pleafures ; apd
die Carfe of your Gallants Difappointments in bis Ab-
fcBcej and the Curfe of Scorn, Jealoufie or De-
spair on your Lore j and then the Curfe of loving on.

O/fv. And to requite all your Curfes, I will only
rctarn you your laft^ May the Curfe of loving nie
fiill ^1 upon your proud hard Heart, that coil' d be (b
cruel to roe in thefe horrid Curfes : but Hekvcn for-
give yon. [ Exit Oliv.

Mjti. Hell and the Qevil reward thee.

Rv€. Well, you fee now, Miftfeifes, like Friends, ate
lofi by letting 'em handle your Money ; and molt Wo-
men are fuch kind of Witches, who can h^ve no Powec,
over a Man, unlefs you give 'em Money; but when
once they have got any from you, they nevej leave
yoa 'all they have all : Therefore I never dare |iy$ a
VoBian a Fanhing.

Men. VeLI, there is yet this contort by lofing oneV
Money with one's Miltrefs, a Man is out of Danger
of getting another ; of being made Prize again Isy
Lore, who, like a Pirate, takes you by fprcadl^g falfe
Colours ifBut when once you hare run your Ship a-
groofl^, the tnacherous Picaroon loofs, fo by ^ur
Ruin you (are yonrfelf from Slavery atleait
Enter Bty.

Boy. Mrs. Ltttkt^ here's Madam Bhciacrt comif to
wait upon her Honour.

MM. D'y« hear that } Let us be gone, before fhe
comes } for hence forward I'll avoid the v^ote dam^ d
Sa for eretj and Wcunaa as a fmking Ship.

[ Ex. Ifiaa. and ^d.

ft»fc And ni ftay, tp reve^ige on her your (Quarrel

to tbe Sex J for out of Love to her Jointure, and

P 4 Hatred

44 7*« P^i^ Dealer:

Hatred to Bafiners, I wou'd marry her^ to make an

end.ofberthoufand SuitSj and my thoufand Engage-
ments, to the comfort of two unfonanate foits of
People ; my PtaintifTs, and her Defendants,- my Cre-
dftorSf and her AdverfarJes.

Enttr ffiJow Blackacre, ted in hy Major OUfox, and Jer-
ry Blackacre/o//<?M'/»»g, laden with green Bags.

Wid. TU an errant Sea-Ruffian, but I am glad I
qiet wich him ac laft, to ferve him again. Major, for
die laft Service was nQt\good in Law. Bt^^ Duek,
Jerryi whefe is my Paper of Memorandums, ? give me.
Child : So. Where is my Coulin Olivia, now my
Ifin^ Relation ?

Free. Here is one that wou'd be your kind l^eU-
tion. Madam.
Wid. What mean you. Sir, ,

Free. Why, Faithj (to be fiiort) to marry yon,
Widow.

Wid. Is not this the wild, rpde Perfon we faw ac
^^aptain Manly s ? ,

Jerr. Ay, forfpoth, an't pleafe.
IVid. What wou'd you ? what are you i Marry me. !
Free. Ay, faith , for I am a younger brother, and.
you are a Widow.

Wid. You are sn inipertin^nt Perfpn, and go aboat
your Bufinefi.

Free. I have none, bqt to marry thee, Widow.
Wid. But I have other Bufmefs, I'd have you to know.
Fr«.,Butyou have no Bufjnefs a Nights, Widpw,
and I'll make you pleafanter Bufiijels than, any you.
fiave : For a Nights, I affure you, T am a Man of
greatBufmefs ; fof (he Bufinefs — ■ — -
Wid, Go, Tm fure you're an idle Fellow.
Free. Try me but. Widow, and employ me asyoa
find my Abilities and Induftry.

Old. Pr^y be civil to the Lady, Mr- — fte is a Per-
fon of, Qualiiy, a Perfon that is no Perfon — ■ -

Free. Yes, but file's a Perfon th« is a Widow : Be
you mannerly tp her, t)e9aufe yoq are (o pretend

The PIai»-Dealer. ^5-

only to be her 'Squire, to ami her to her Lawyers
Oiambersj but I will be impudent and bawdy^ for
jhe nnift love and marry me.

mJ. Marry come up, yoa fancy ^miliar Jaeks
You think with us Widows, 'tis no tnore than up, and .
ride.- Gad forgive me, now a-days, every idle, young
hedoriog, roaring Companion, with a pair of turn'd
red Breeches, and a broad Back, thinks to carry a-
way any Widow, of the beft Degree j but Vd
have you to know,' Sir, all Widows are not got,
like Places at Court, by In^dence and ImpoFtonity
only.

OU. No, no, foft, foft, yon are a young Man, and
not fit — 7—

five. For a Widow ? Yes fure, old Man, the fitter.'

Old. Go to, go to, if others had not laid in their
Claims bef(H« yon ^

Frte. Not yop, I hope.

Old. Why not J, Sir ? Sure I am a much more pro^
portionable Match for her, than you. Sir; I who am
an elder Brother, of a comfortable Fortune, and nf'
equal Years with her.*

ffiJ. How's that, you unmanneriy Perfbn, i'd have
you to know, I was bora but in Jnrt unite Cartli:
frim'.

Old. Your Pardon^ Lady, your Pardon j be iiot of-
fended with your very Servant— —But! fey. Sir,;
you are a beggarly younger Brother, twenty Yeart
younger than her, without- any. Land or Stock, but
your great Stock of Impudence : Therefore what Pre-:
tention can you h^vc to her ? :

Frn. You have made it foe me ; firit, becanfe I ani'
a younger Brother,

Wid. Why, is that a TufiicieneFlea to a KeHa?. -
How appears it. Sir ? by what foolifli Cuftom i

Bte. By Cuftom, time out of mind only. < Then^
Sir, becaufe I have nothing to keep me after her -
Death, I am the likelier to take care of her Life.
And for nty being twenty Years yodnger than hbr, and
baviog a fnfficient Stctqt of Impudence, I leave icto:

^ The PUinrDcAl^l

Ittr «rfiether they wtU fae valid Exc^idoas to mc, ta

lux Widow's Law at £q[ulcy.

Old. ' Well, Ihe has been lo long in Cbjocery, that I'll
fiand eo faer Equity and Decree between us. Come,
Ejid^, [ffay fnap up this yoong Snap at tirftj or wo
fi^U be tconUed wiiii him ; give him a City- Widow's
Anfwer: (that is with all tap ill Breeding imagina-
ble. J ^ iJfiUtotbsHU
Come, Mtdant.

\ iPf/. Well tfaen^ tomakeanendcrf thisfoolilliVoo-
iH$t for ncHd^g internipcs Bafin^fs more; ficft^ tcx

you. Major -

: £^ You dedare in my fa*oiir then ?

Free. What, direft the Court i ( Owm, yoang.
Xawyer, choa Aalc be a Conofel for me.) [ Te Jerr.

3^err. Gad, I fhall betray your Canfe then, as well
as an older Lawyer, never &k.

Wid. Firft, I fay, for yoa, Ib^oc, my walking
Hoj^ital of an ancient Foandatiori, thou >Bag of
Mumtay, that wou'dft £U1 afpoder if 'twere i|Ocibr thy.
Cercrdo^ths-: -^

Old. How, Lady ? Fret. Ha, ha-

' ^9^r. Hey, brave Mother! nieall Suitors thus, for
my fake.

H^td. Thou withet'd, hobling, dtftorted Cripple;
uy, cfaoQ art a Cript^e all over ; wou'dft thoii make
me the Staff of thy A^e, the Crutch of thy Deere-
pednefs? Me— —

: Free. Well faid. Widow ! 'Futh, thou wou'dft make
a Man lore thee now, without dilfembling.

Wtd. Thon fenfelels, impertinent, quibling, drivel-
ing; 'feeble, paralytidt, impotent, fumbling, Irigid Ni-
compoop.

Jer^-Hiey, brave Mother, for calling of Names,
i'fec! ■

Wid. Woa'dfl thou make a Camdlemaker, a Noffe
of me.^ Can't yon be Bed-rid without a Bed-fellov'
Won't your Swan-skint, Furn, Flannels, and tJte
ftocch'd Tcendier keep yoa warm there? Wou'd yoa
have me your ScotohrwarmiAK'Km, with a PQx co

The PlaiikDealer, ^

QUO Heavens!
tni. I told yon I ftoo'd be thought the fittw Maa$

Major.

fir. Ay, yoa <M Fc^as, and you woa'd have bc«i
mr Guardian, woa'd you i to have taken care of mf
£nue, that half <tf't ihou'd never come to ne, by
letting long Leafes at Pepper-corn Rents. .

Wid. If I woti d have married ap old Man, 'tis well
known X mi^ht have marry'd an Earl ; nay, what's
more^ a Judge, and been cover'd the Wimer-nigte
with the Lambs-skins, which I prefer to the Ernuns
of Nc^ks : And doft thou think I won'd wrong n^
poor Aiinor there, for you I

Free. Vou£ Minor is a chopping Minor, God Uefi
him. [ Strohi]ciTy «» r^ HetJ,

Old. Your Minor may be a Major of Uorfe or Foo^
for his Biignefs ; anditfeems, you will have the ohcai-
ing of your Minor to your lelf.

mJ. ^ray. Sir, bear Witnefs ; Cheat n^ Minor!
I'll bring my AAion of the Cafe for the Slandtt.

J^M. Nay, I wou'd bear falfe Witnefs for chec now^'
Vidow, fmce you have done me Jaftice, and Inie
thought me the fitter Man for you.

B^d. Fair and foftly. Sir, 'tis my Minor's Cale,
more than my own : and I muft do him Juftice now
aa you.

five. How ? >

Old. So then.

^d. You are firft, (I warrant) Tome Reneg^ib
from the Innt of Court, and the Law ; and thot^
(onie to fuffcr for't by the Law : that is, be hang'4^ ■

Jer. Not about your Neck, forioonfa^ I hope.

Fret. But, Madam

•Old. Heat the Couit.

md. Thou an fbme d^adi'd, drunken, lew^'
i^cAoringj gaming Compaoion, an4 wmt'ft (emjs
Widow's old Cold to nidt upon ; but, I thaalc you, .
&r, that'-s for my Lawyers.

B-ti. Faith,weihoad ne'er parrel about that;foir

^mnea&]jroii'dierreiiiy turn : But, Widow

ffU/Ihok

^8 The Vhin-VeaUr.

Wii. Thon art a foaJ mouth boafler of thy Lft^y a
xaeef Bragadochto of thy Strength for Wine and Wo-
men, and Will belie thy felf more than thou doll.
jiromen, and art every way a bafe deceiver of Wo-
men: And wou'd deceive me too, wou'd you ?
- Fret. Nay, faith, Widow, this is judging without
ieeing the Evidence.

■ Wii- I fay you are a wprn-out Whoremafter, at five
-and twenty both in Body and Fortune : And cannot
■be trufted by the common Wenches of the Town,
left you ihou'd not pay 'cm j nor by the Wives of the
Town, left you fhou'd pay 'em : fo you want Wo-
men, and wou'd have me your Baud to- procure 'em
for you.

Free, Faith, if you had any good Acquaintance,
Widow, 'twou'd be civilly done of thee ,- for I am
jnft come from Sea.

W^d. Ismean, you wou'd have me keep you ; tiiat
you might turn Keeper ; for poor Widows are only
us'd like Bauds by you ; you go to Church with us,
but to get other Women lo lie with. In fine, you are
a cheating, cbouling Spendthrift: and having fold
your own Annuity, wou'd wafte my Jointure.
.' Jer. And make havock of our Eftate perfonal, and
all our old gilt Plate ; \ fhou'd foon be picking up all
' our mortgagM A poftle- Spoons, Bowls and Beakers out
of moft of the Ale houfes betwixt HermUt^lUartZTy^
the BoatCwain in Wafpng : nay, and you'd be fcour*
^Sbg amonf[ft my Trees, and make 'em knock down
:eiie another, like routed reeling Watchmen at Mid-
night. Wou'd you fo, Bully ?

Sret. Nay, prithee Widow, he^r me.

THJ, No, Sir, I'd have you to know, thou pitiful,
paltry, lath-back'd Fellow, if I woii'd have married a
young Man, 'tis well known, I cou'd have had any
young Heir in Norfolk; nay, the hopefull'ft young
Man this Day fit the Kings- Bench- Bar i I, that am a
ReliA and Executrix of known plentiful Aflits and
Parts^ who under{taQd my felf and the Law : And
wou'd you have me under Corcr^BAron again i No,
Sir. no Covert-^ron for me. frtt*

the Pkin-DeaUr. ^

Vru. "But, dear WidoWj hear me. I valae yon cmly,
not your Jfo^cure. '

Wii. Nay, Sir, hold there ; I know your love to a
WidoWj is covetoufaefs of her Joioture : And a Vi-
doWj a little ilricken in Years, with a good Jointure,
is like an old Manfion-houfe in a good Purchase,
ncTer valu'd ; but take one, take t'other : And per-
haps , when you are in polTeffion , you'd negleA it,
let it drop to the Ground, for wane of neceflary Re-
pain or Expences upon't.

Frtt. No, Widow, one wou'd be fure to keep all
tight, when one is to forfeit one's Leafe by ifilapi-
dation.

PTtJ. Fie, fie, I negleft my Bufinefs with this fooUfli '
difcourfe of Love. Jerry, Child, let me fee the Lift
of the Jury ; I'm idre my CoulTo Olivia has fome
Relations amongft 'em. But where is Oie }

Free. Nay, Widow, but hear me one Word only,

Wtd. Nay, Sir, no more, pray. I will no more
hearken again to your foolifli Love-motions, than to
offers of Arbitration. [Exit Wid. aitj Jer..

Free. Well, I'll follow thee yet j for he that has a
Pretenfion at Court, or to a Widow, muft never ^tg
over for a little ill ufage.

OlJ. Therefore I'll gee her by Afltdijity, Patience
and long Sufferings, which you will not undergo;
for you idle young Fellows leave off Love when it
comes to be Bufinefs ; and Induftry geps more Wo-
loen than Love.

Fret. Ay, Induflry the Fools and old Man's merit i
but I'll be induftrious too, and make a bulinefs on'c,
and get her by Law, Wrangling, and Contells, and
not by Sufferings : And, becaufe you are no dangc^
rous Rival, I'll give thee Counlel Major.
If you Litigious Widow e'er Tvou'dgain,
Sigh net to htr, but hy the Law complain :
To btr, M to a Bawd, Defendant jue
With Statutes^ and make Jufiice ftmffgryeu. [Exennt.

Finis Aftus Secundi.

ACT.

jfi fit PUit-btaUr.

ACT IIL SCENfi t

We^inJier-HalL

tnttr Manly and Freeman, two Sailers hbini.

Xaih Y Hate this place, woife than a Man that ha$ in-^
1 herited a ChancerjSak : I wijh I wete welt
ont on'c again.

free. 'Why you need not be afraid of this place : for
a Mail without Money, needs no more fear a Crowd
of Lawyers, than a Crowd of Pick-pockets.

Man. This, the Reverend of the Law won'd have
thought the Palace or Refidence of Jnftice ; but, if it
hi, ifae livei here with the State of a Turk^ Emperor,
rarely feen; and befieg'dj'ather than defended^ by her
juimeroas black Guard here.

Free. Methinks, 'tis like one of their own Halls, in
Clri^at time, whither, from all Parts, Fools bring
their Money, to try, by the Dice , (not the worn
Judges) whether it fiiail be their own, or no : But
after a tedious fretting and wrangling, they drop away
-all their Money , on both fides ; and hnding neither
the better, at laft, go emptily and lovingly away to-
gether, to the Tavern, joining their Corfes againll
the young Lawyer's Box, that fwe^ all, like the
old ones.
. ^an. Spoken like a Revelling Cbrifimar Lawyer.

Frte. Yes , I was one , I confefs, but was ftin to
liave the Law, out of Confcience, and fall to making
^Ife Mutters : rather chufe to cheat the King, thaa
his Subjeds j Plunder, rather than take Fees.

Man. Welt, a Plague and a Purfe Famine light on
the Law ; and that Female Limb of it, who drag'd
me hither to Day : but prithee go fee if, in that croud
of dagled Gowns there, thou canft find her.

)jPointhg to a Creud of Lawyen at the mi ofthi Stage,

[Exit Freeman.

Manit

The PlOin-Veettr. ^

, MMut, Maiil]r.
How hard it is to be an Hypocrite !
At leaft to TaSy who am but aewly foi
I tbought k once ft kind of Knareiy^
Nay, Cowardice, to hide ones Faults ; but now
The cofnnon frailtyj Lore, becomes my fiiams.
He nnft not know I Iotc the Uiwratefial ftiU,
Left he contemn me, more than me : for I>
Ic feems, can undergo a Womans fconit
Has not a Man s ■ —

Enttr to biHa Bdclta.

fii. SAtf good Sir, generous Cftptain.

Mm. Prithee, kind impertirtetice, teare me. Why
Jhoa'dit thou fellow ntt, flatter my Geiierofity Dow^
fince thou knoweft I have no McHiey left? tf 1 bad i^
I'd give it theej to buy my qnier.

Pid. I never foUow'd yet, Sic^ Reward or FaU^
but yott alone; nor do I now beg any thing, bdt
leave to Jhare your Miferic! : You Jhou'd not be *
Niggard of 'em, fince, methinks, yoti have enoitgli
to fpar& Let me follow yon now, becsufetyou lact
BK, as yon have dcen faid.

Man. I ever hated a Coward's Conqtany , I mnft
confefs.

fiJ. Let me follow you, till I am none then ; fyt
yoQ, I'm fure, will through fuch Worlds of Dangerv
that 1 fliall be ennr'd to 'em ,* nay, I {faal) be ufiiaM of
your Anger more than Danger, and fo tutn valiant
oat of fear. Dear Captain , do not cad me off tUl
you have try'd me once more: do not, do not go M
Sea again without me.

Man. Thon Co Sea ! to Court, thoa Fool ; reA'eriH
ber the Advice I gave thee : thou arc a hsndfome Spa-
niel, and canft ^wn naturally i go, buik about and
mo thy felf into the next great Man's Lobby : firfly
fawn upon the Slaves without, aiud then ranitiro ths
Ladies Bed-Chamber ^ thou may'ft be admitttfd itlaft^
to tumble her Btid : go feek, I fay, and lofe me ; foe
I am not able to keep thee : I ^ve not BreaA for
my felf. V

Fid.

jj the PUin-T^ealtK

Tid. Therefore I will not g<>j becanle then I may
help and fer« you.

Man. Thou r

fU. I warrant you, Sir, for at worft^ I cott'd big
or fisal for you.

Mm. Nay , more bra^ng ! doft thou not know
there's venturing your Life in flealing ? Go, prithee
away : thou art as hard to fliake off, as that flattering
effeminating mifchief Love.

Fid. Love, did you name? Why, you are not Co
miferable as to be yet in Love, fure ?

Man. No, no, prithee away, be gone, or— — —
I had almoft difcover'd my Love and Shame ; well, if
I had that thing cou'd not think the worfe ofme:—

qr if he did ?— — no yes, he ftiall know it he

ftall— but then I muft never leave him, for they are
fuch Secrets, that make Parafites and Pimps Lords of
their Matters j for any Slavery or Tyranny is eaficr
Chan Love's. [jlfiJe.

Come hither, fince thou art fo forward to ferve me :
haft thou boc Refolution enough lo endure the Tor-
ture of a Secret ? for fuch, to feme, is infupportablc.

Fid. I wou'd keep it as fafe, as if your dear prectotu
Life depended on'c.

Man. Damn your dearnefs. It concerns more than
my Life, my Honour.

Fid. Doubt it not. Sir.

Man. Arid do not difcover it, by too much fear of
difcovering it; but have a great care you let not Free-
man find it out.

Fid. 1 warrant you. Sir, I am already all joy, with
the hopes of your Commands j and fliall be all wings
in the execution of 'em : fpeak quickly^ Sir,

Man. You faid you'd beg for me.

Fid. I did. Sir.

Mmi. 1 hen you fhall beg for oie.

F$J. With all my Heart, Sir.

Mam. That is. Pimp for me.
. :;i<^How, Sir?

The flaiit-Deakr. SJ .

'it^f D'ye flare ! ttuDk'fl thou, ihoq cou'^ft do me
any, other ferrice? ComCj no diflembliog Hooout:
Ikodw you can do it handrotnly^ thou wett.made
for'c : Yon have loft yonr time with me at Sea^ yctt
imitt recover it.

fid. Do naty Sir, ^e%^t your felf mcfie Reafons for
yoDr Averlton tomcj aiid malce my Qbedience to you
a Faak I I ^m the unfitceli in the World to do you
fnch a Service.

Man; Yonr cimoing arguing againft it, Ibews but
how fie yon are for it. No,more difl'^mbliog : here>
(I fay) you muft gQ ufc it for me to OfivM;

Fi(/. To heTi Sir ?

Man. Go flatter, lie, icneel, promlfe, any thing to
get her for me : I cannot live unlefs I have her. Didft
thou not lay thou wou'dft do any thing to faVe my
Life ? And fhe faid you had a permading Face.

fU. But did not yoa fay. Sir , your Honour was
dearer to you than your Life i And wou'd yon have
me contribute to the lofs of that, and catry loVe froni
yoiis CO the mofi in^ous, mou falfcj and

A^m. And mod beautif&I ! [Sight afide,

Fui. Moft ungrateful Woman that ever liv'd j for
fure {he muft he To, that cou'd deferc you fofoon, ufe
yoo fo bMely, and ib lately coo ? do not, do not for-
get ic, Sir^ and think

Mtnt. Ko, Iwillnoc forget it^ but chink of revenge 1
I will lie with her out of revenge. Go, be gond, and
prevail for me^ or never fee me more.

Fid. You fcorn'd her laft Ntghc. . .

Man. I know not what I did laft Night • I diiTem*
bled laft I^gfat.

Ftd. Heavens ! , , . .

Man. Be gone, I fay, and bring me love or: com-l
pliance back, or hopes at leaft, or I'll never fee thy
Face again : by— r—

Fid. O do not fwear. Sir, firft hear me> . .

A^n. I'm impatient^ away, you'll find me here
till Twelve. [j7«w «aw;."

F,i. Sir ., ;

54 7^^ TUin-VeaUr.

■ Mm. NotooeWordjnoiannnatingArguiiienefflM^
or foothing perfwafion j you'll have need of all yoiu
Rhetorick with her : go, ftrire to alter her, not me j
be gotie. [£xit Man- at tbt end tftBt Stage,

Mmtt Fidelia.
Ri. Shou'd Idifcoverto him now my Sezj
And lay before him his Itrange cruelty,
'Twou'd but incenfe it more.— ^-^No, 'tis not time!
For his Lore, muft I then betray, my own ?
Were cter Love or Chance, till now, ferere ?
Or flitfting Woman pos'd with fuch a Task i
Forc'd to beg thai which kills her, if obtain'd ;
And give away her Lover not to lofe him. [Fx.Fid.

Ei^tr ffidsw Blackacre in tbt miJdle of half a dozm Law
ym^ whifftid to by a FeSow m bUckf Jerry Blackacre
foSotving tbe Crowd.

Wid. Oifer me a Reference, yoti fkucy Companion
you ! tfye know who yon fpeak to ? Art thou a Soli-
ctor in chancery i and offer a Reference i A pretty
Fellow! Mr. Serjeant PWi/iw, here's a Fellow has the
Impudehcd to offer me a Reference.

Strj. Plod. Who's that has the Impudence to oSer a
Reference within thefe Walls ? .

ITfd. Nay, for a Splitter of Catfes to do't ! /

Serj. Pled. No, Madam, to a Lady learned ift cAe
Law, as yon are, the of^r of ft Reference were to
impofe iip(Hi you.

ff^d. No, no, never fear me for a Reference, Mr.
Serjeant. But come, have you not forgot your Brief?
Are you fore you flian't make the Miftake of——

Hark you {Wbifftrs} Go then, go to your Court

of Commen-PUatt an<^ ^J o"* thing over ahd over
again: You do itfsnamrtlly, you'll never be fufped-
od for protradlng time.'

Serj. Pled. Come, I know the conrfe of the Coflrt,
and your BuHnels.

- : , [Ew, Serj. Plod.

■ W/ Let's fee, JeTry, where arc my Minutes.* Come,
Mr. ^aint, pray go talk a great deal for me in Cban-

ttry.

The Piaitt' Dealer. 5y

Mry, let ycmr Words be eafie , and your Senre hard,
my Caale requires it : Branch it bravely, and deck
my Caafe with Flowers, that the Snake may lis
hidden. Go, go, and be fure you remember the
£)ecree of my Lotd Chancellor Tmefimo juart' of
the Queen.

^aim. I will, as I fee caufejextenu^te,dr exampU5e
Matter of Fad j baffle Truth with Impudence ^ an-
fwer Exceptions with Queftions, tho' never fo imper-
tinent; for Reafons give 'em Wprdsj for Law and
Eqaity, Tropes and Figures : And fo relax and ener-
vate the Sinews of their Argument, with the Oil of
my Eloquence. But when my Lungs can reafon
no longer, and not being able to fay any thing more
for our Caufe, fay every thing of our Adverfary ;
whofe Reputation, tho' never lo clear and evident in
tbeEye of the Wodd, yet with ftiarp Invetaives—

mJ. (4Has BiSln/fgate.)

^a'mt. With poinant Snd fower Inredlves, I fay,
I will deface, wipe out, and obliterate his' fair Repu-
tation, even as a Record with the Juice of Lemons j
and tell fuch a Story, (for the truth on't is, all that
we can dtf for out Client, in Chancery, is telliugaStory)
a fine Story, a lorig Story , fuch a Story-; — —

Wid. Go, fave thy Breath for the Caufe j talk at
the Bar, Mr. ^aint: You ar^ fo copiouOy fluent,
ydo can weary any ones Ears, fooner than your own
Tongue. Go, weary our Adverfaries Counfel, and
the Court : Go, thou art a fine fpoken Pcffon : Adad,
I Ifaalt make thy Wife jealous of me : if you can buc
court the Court into a Dfifjree for us. Go, get you

gone, and remember \WhM''feri] {Ex. Quaint*

CoWe, Mr. Blunder, pray bauf foundly for me,, at the
KMgs-Bentb } blultcr, fputt'er, (^ueflion, cavil ; but ba
fure your Argument be intricate enough to confound
the Court : And then you do piy buHnefs. Talk
what you will, but be fure your Tongue never fland
fiill ; for your own Noife will fecure your Senfe from
Cenfure : 'tis like cotjghing or heming when one has
got the Belly-ake, which ftifles the unmannerly Noife.
E » - - ^ ,9p>

$6 The Plain-Denkr.

Go, dear Rogne, and fucceed ; and I'll invite thce^

e'er it be long, to more fouz'd. Venifon.

Blund. I'll warrant you, after your Verdift , your
Judgment (ball not be Arreded upon IPs and and's.

Wid. Come, Mr. Petulant, let me give you fome newr
Inftrudions, for oar Caufe in the Excbt^iier : Are the
Barons fate }

Pet. Yes, no ; may be they arc, may be they are
not : what know 1 ? what care I ?

Wid. Hey day ! I wifh you wou'd but fnap up the
Counfel on t'other llde anon, at the Bar, as much ;
and have a little more patience with me, that I might
iiifiruift you a little bette^.

Pet. Youinflma me ! Whatismy Brief for,MiIlrer5?

Wid. Ay, but you feldom lead your Brief, but at the
Ear, if you do it then.

Ptt. Perhaps I do, perhaps I don't, and perhaps 'tis
time enough : pray hold your felf co'ntented Miftrefs.

Wid. Nay, if you go there too, I will noP be con-
tested. Sir, tho' you, I fee, will lofe my Caufe for
want of fpeaking, I wo' not : You Ihall hear me, and
Jhall be InftruiEied. Let's fee your Brief.

Pet, Send your Solicitor to me, inflruded by a Wo-
man ! I'd have you to know, I do not wear a Bar-
gown

Wid. By a Woman I and I'd have you to know, I
am no common Woman ; but a Woman converfant in
the Laws of the Land , as well as your'felf, tho' I
hare no Bar-gown.

Pet. Go to, go to, Miftrefs, you are impertinent, and
there's your Brief for you ; inftruft me ! {Flings her

Briviate at ber.

Wid. Impertinent to me, you fancy Jack you .' Yoa
teturn my Breviate, but wnere's my Fee ? You'll be
fure to keep that, and fcan chat fo well, that if there
chance to be but a Brafs Half crown in't, one's fure
to hear on't again : wou'd you wou'd but look on
your Breviate half fo narrowly. But pray give me
uiy Fee too, as well as my Brief.

Vet. Miftrefs, that's without Pfecedenc. When did a
Counfel

the TUh Dealer. 57

Coanfel ever return his Fee, pray ? And you are im-
pertinent, and ignoraac to demand it.

ff^td. Impertinent again, and ignorant to me I Gads-
boJikins, yon puny Upftart in the Law, to ufe me (o,
yoa Green-Bag Carrier, yoa Murderer of unfortu-
nate Caufes, the Clerk's Ink is fcarce offof your Fin-
gers, yoD that newly come from Lamblackicg the
Judges Shoes, and are not fie to wipe mine ; you call
me impertinent and ignorant .' I wou'd give thee a
Cuff on the Ear. fitting the Courts, if I were ignorant.
^^■7 gcPj if^ic h'ad not been for me,ihou had'ft been
yet but a hearing Counfel at the Bar. \Exii Petulant.

Ei^er Mr. Buttongown, erojfmg the Sttge in'bafie.
Mr. Bitttoiigeivn, Mr. Buttewoum, whither 10 fait ? what,
won't you fiay till we are neard ?

Butt. I cannot , Mrs. Blackacrt , T muft be at the
Council, my Lord's CauTe ftays there for me.

ff'td. And mine fuiTers here.

Bull. I cannot help it.

ffid. I'm undone.

Bm. What's that to me ?

H^. Confider the Five pound Fee, if not my Caufe :
that was fomething to. you.

Butt. Away, away^ pray be not fo troublefome,
Millrefs, I mufl be gone.

IfW. Nay, but confider a little^ I am your old Cli-
ent, my Lord but 3 new one j or, let him be what he
will, he will hardly be a better Client to you than my
felf : I hope you oelieve I fbal! be in Law as long as
I live ? tbererore am no defpicable Client. Welt, buc
go to your Lord, I know you expe& he Ihou'd make
make you a Judge one Day ; but I hope his Promife
to you vn\l prove a true Lord's Promife : But, chat he
ndght be fure to fail you, I wifb you had his Bond
fort.

Butt. But what, will you yet be thus impertinent^
MifireG?

md. Nay, I befeech you. Sir, uay ; if it be but to
tell me my Lord's Cafe : come, in fhort — -

Butt, Nay, ihen^^;:^ [Exit Buttongown.'

E 3 ^md-

58 The plain- Dealer. ,

m^. Well, Jerrji, obferve Child, and lay it up for
hereafter : Thefe are thofe Lawyers, who, by being
in all Caufes, are in non& ; therefore if you woa'd
hgve 'em for you, let your Adverfary fee 'em ,- for he
may chance to depend upon 'em : and fo, in being
againft thee, they'll be for thee.

Jerr. Ay, Mother, they putmein mihdof thean-
confcionable Wooers of Widows, who undertalte brisk-
ly their Matrimonial bblinefs for their Money ; but
when they have got it onc^ let who's will drudge for
them; therefore have a care'of 'em,-forfooth: there's
Advice for your Advice. ' l-'

TViJ. Well faid. Boy, come, Mr. Splticaufe; pray go

fee when my Caufe in Chancery comeson • and go

fpeak with Mr.^jff(» intheKiMg^-BwipA^and Mr.^tfir*^

in the Ccmm&ft- P/ew,and fee how our Matters go there.

Efitir Major Oldfoif;

OU. Lady, a good and propitious Morning to yonj
and may all your Caufes go as well^ as if 1 my felf
were Judge of 'em. . ' ".

Wid. Sir, excufeme, I ambufie,j and "cannot an-
fwer Complements in WefimlnJter-HaU:' Gh I Mr. SpUt-
caafe, and come to me again, to (hat Bookfcllprs, there
I'll flay for you, that you may be fur'e to find me.

OU. No, Sir, come to the other Bookfellers, I'll
attend your Ladyftjip thither." - [EkiV Splitcaufe,

fViJ. Why to the other ?

OU. Becaufe he is my fipokfeller,, I-ady;. '

Wi4- What, to fell you Lozenges for your Catarrh?
or Medicines for your Corns ? What elfe can a M^jor.
deal with a Bookleller for ?. .' ,

, 0// Lady, he Prints for me.

Wtd. Why, are youan' Author?

Old. Of Tome f?vf EITays; deign you , Lady, to.'
perufe 'em. (She is a Woftian of Parts , and I mnft
win her by fliewing mine.) {^A/idt.'

The Bookfellers Boy. '

Boy, Will you fee CuljftpptTf Minc^Ci^'Ariffettei Fro-
Hems ? The CompUat Midy^ife ?.

ffid. "NOj lets kcmiion,fJuHs.Sbepberd.fr»ieiff<' '
■ ^0/. TyehavenoLaw-^ooks." ' * '' fnJ.

The FiaitfDeaierl ^^

f^iL Ko^ yon are i pretty Bookfeller thea:

Old. Come, have you e'er a one of my ^Eiys left}

B^. Ves, Sitr» wehave eaoa^, and fliall always
hare 'em.

Old, How fo ?

Sajf Whyj thy are good, fleady, laflina Ware.

Oldi Kay, I hope they will live, lets fee. Be
[deas'd. Madam, to perufe the poor Endeavonnof

my Pen ; foe I have a Pen, tho* I fay it, that

{_ Givu ber a Book.

yen. Pray let me fee St. Geoi^e/w Chrifimdom, or
Tie Svom Champimt of England. . .

Wid. No, no, give him, Tht Ttumg Clerk's G^dtt
ViTiatj we fiiall have you read your \t\l into a Ha-
mour of rambling, ^nd fighting, and ftudying Mili-
t^y Difcipline, and wearing red Breeches.

Old. Nay, if you talk of Military Difcipline, fliew
lum my Treatife of The Art Military.

Wid. Hold, I wou'd as willingly he flionld read a

Jen. O pray, forfooth Mother, let me hare aF%^

ff^. No, Sirrahj there are yoong Student! of the
Law enough fpoil'd . already by Plays j they woD*d
make you in Love with your Landrns, or what's
wprfe, fome Qjieen of the Stage, that was a Lan-
drefs i and fo turn Keeper before yon are of Age.

[^Several cro^Kg the St*^e.
!Put fi4y> Jtrry^ is not that Mr. what dy call iim,
that goes there : He that ofFer'd to fell me a Snit in
Ckunetfy for five hundred Found, for a hundred down,
i)nd only paying the Clerks Fees ?
" Jerr.' Ay, torfooth, 'tis he.

md. Then Rzy here, and have a care of the Bags,
\^ilQ } foUow iiim I ^ve a c^te Af the Bags^ I fay.

Jerr, 4n^ do you have « cars^. iocfootfa, of the
Stim^ agaioft Cht?^trte«i I f»y-i [ Ex. Widows

EnttrVje9Vmx*rtbm.

tree. So, there's a Limb ~qf my 'V^tdow, which WIS
wflOt (o bf infep4r^» ito» tier: She can't bo hr.
'■■ ■■ ,.■■,» ■■■■■. IJ/^-

B^ ..,..,^Hoi|

^0 fi>c Plain Oeaiet.

How naw, my pretty Son-in-law, that th^ \Xg

there's my Widow ? . '

; .^nr. My Mother, but not your Widow, will be.

forth-coming prefently.

Free. Your Semnt, Major; what, are you buyiaa;
Furniture for a littje fleeping Clofet, which you miw
c^ a Study ? For you do only, by your Books, as by
^OQr Wenches, bind 'em up neatly, and make 'em
fine, for other People to ufe 'em : And your Bo<^->
feltoF is properly your Upbolfter, for he furniihes
jiourRoom, ratherthan your Head.

OU. Well, well, good Sea-Lieutenant, flndy you
youf Compafs, that's more than your Head can deal
vdch. ( I will go find out the Widow, to keep her
eiit.ofhis fight, or he'll board her, wbilft I am treat-
ing a Peace J [JfiJe. lExit. Oldfox.
*-" . Mmet Frecraao, Jerry;

Jerr. Nay, prithee. Friend, now, let me have bat
AfsStvea Cbamfloris, you fliall truft me no longer than
'till my Mother's Mr. StUtcaufe comes; for I Iwp©
bpll lend me wherewithal to pay for't.
■ Free. Lend thee ! here, I'll pay him. Do you want
Money, 'Squire ? I'm forry a Man of your Eftate
fiiou'd wane Money.

Jerr. Nay, my Mother will ne'er let me be at Age:
And 'till then, Ihefayt - — — -

Free. At Age ! Why, you are at Age already to have
ipent an Eftate, Man ; there are yonnger than ywx,
tutve kept their Women thefe three Years, have had
I^f a dozen Clap^ and loft as many thoufand Pounds
at Play.

Jerr. Ay, they are happy Sparks ! Nay, I know
Ipfne of my Schod Fdlbwc, who when we were at
School, were two Years younger than me; but now,
l^ know not how,, are grown Men before me, and
nv^b«-e they will, and look to chemfelves : but my
Gnrmadgeonly Mooter won't allow me wherewithal
labeiaManof my felf with.-

Frit. 'Why> Efaore 'iUyt kbew your Mother was in
Faults Ask but your School-fellows what they did to
b« Men of themfelves. ; •''■ ..-7<"".

The flain-Vealer. ^ 6i

yerr. Wh/j 1 know they went to Law with iheic
Mothers ,- for they fay, there's no good to be done,
upon a Widow-Mother, 'till one goes to Law with
her : fiat mine is as plaguy a Lawyer as any's of out
Inn. ' Then wou'd fhe marry too, and cat down my
Tree*; Now I fiion'd hate, Man, to have my Fathers
Wife kits'd, and llapt, and t'other thing too, ryoa
know what I mean ) by another Man ; and our Trees
are the pureft, tall, even, fliady Twigs, by my Fa —

Free. Come 'Squire/letyotir Mother and yonr Trees
Bill as the pleafesj rather than wear this Gown, and
carry green Bags all thy Life, and be pointed at for a
Tony : Bdc you fliall be able to deal with her yet the
Common way j thou fhalc make falfe Love to fomo
Lawyer's Daughter, whofe Father, upon the hopes of
thy marrying her, (hall lend thee Money and Law^ to
preferve thy £ftate and Trees : And thy Mother is fo
ugly, no Body will have her, if fhe cannot cue down
thy Trees.

Jtrr. Nay, if I had but any Body to fland by me, I
am asftomachftil as another.

F\ree. That will I, I'll not fee any hopeful young
Gentleman abus'd.

Boy. By any but your felf [ JJiJr.

fen. The Truth on't is, mine's as arrant a Widow-
Mother to her poor Child, as any's mEn^ani: Shft'
won't fo much as let one have Sixpence in one's Poc- '
kcttofee a Moiion, or the Dancing of the Ropes,
or

Vrtt. Come, you flian't want Money, there's Gold
for you.

Jar. O Lord, Sir, two Guineas ! D'ye lend me
this.' Is there no Trick in't? Well, Sir, I'll give you
my Bond for Security.

Fret. No, no, thou haft given me thy Face for Se-
cnrity : Any Body wou'd fwear thou doft not look
like a Cheat. You (hail have what you will of me ;
and if your Mother will not be kinder to you, come
to me, who will

Ci The Flai/fDea/er.

Jerr. By my Fa-- he's a curious fine Gentle^

man I \_Afidem

But, will you (land by one ?

Fret. If you can be refolute.

Jen. Can be refolv'd ! Gad, if flic gives me but a
crofs Word, I'll leave her to Night, and come to you.
But, now I have got Money, I'll go to Jack of aU
Trades, at t'other end of th? Hall, and buy the neateft,
pureft things r-

Frte. And rU follow the great- Boy, and my Blow
at his Mother : Steal away the Calf, and the Cow
will follow you. [ Exit Jerry followed hy Freeman.

Enta-f m the ot^er fide, Manly^ Widow Blaclcacre,
and Oldfox.

Man. Damn your Caufe, can't you lofe it without
me i which you are like enough to do, if it be as you
fay, 3(1 honell one : I will fuffer no longer for't.

tf^td. Nay, Captain, I tell you, you are my prime
'Witnefs, and the Caufe is jun; now coming on, Mr.
^litcauft tells me. Lord, mechinks you fbou'd take a
Pleafure in walking here, as half vou fee now do ;
for they have no Bufinefs here, J aflure you.
. Man. Yes, but I'll aifure you then, their Bufinefs
is to perfecute me j but d'ye think I'll flay any longer,
to have a Rogue, becaufe he knowsmy Name, pluck-
trie afide, and whifper a News-Book fecret to me with
a ilinking Breath i A Second come fiiping angry from
the Court, and fputter in my Face his tedious Com-
plaints againfl it? A Third Law-Coxcomb, becaufe
he faw me once at a Reader's Dinner,'come and put
me 3 long Law-Cafe, to make a Difcpvery of his in-
defatigabte Dulnefs, and my weary'd Patience ? A
Fourth, a mofl barbarous civil Rogue, who will keep
a Man half an Hour in the Crowd with a bow'd Bo- '
dy, and a Hat off, aifting the reform'd Sign of the
Salutation Tavern, to hear his bountiful Proieflibns of
Service and Friend/Lip j whiift he cares not if I were
damn'd, and I am wifliing him hang'd out of my
way J I'd as foon run the Gantlet, as walk t'other
Turn. EnttT

The Plain-Dealer, (jj

En'm t$ thtm Jeny Blackacre withtut Ut Bagt ; hit Uin
•m%h Trhuketjf wincb be tndtavouri te bi£from bis ftft-
tbir} Mdfdlnt^^d at a difiaice hy Freeman.

Wid. p, are you come. Sir ? But where have yon
beea, yoa Afs ? And how came yon thas I^den i

Jerr. Look here, forfboth. Mother, now here's 4
pack, here's 3 Boar-cat, and here's an Owl.

£ Making a Noiji with Cat-ealltg
and ctbae fucb like Itifinautnts,

Wtd. Yes, there is an Owl, Sir.

Old. He's an ungracious Bird indeed.

Wid. But go, thou Trangame, and carry baek
thofe Trangames, which thoa haft ftol'n or purloin'd;
for no Body won'd truftaMinor in Wtfiwinfitr-HaU,
fare.

Jerr. Hold your felf contented, for&oth, I have
ttiefe Commodities by a fair Bargain and Sale ; and
there ftands my Wicnefs, and Oeditor.

WU. How's that! What, Sir, d'ye think to get the
Mother', by giving the Child a Rattle? But where are.
my Bags, my Writing, youRafcal?

Jtrr. O I^wl where are they indeed ? {Jfidt'.

Wid. How, Sirrah? fpeak, cotae

Man, You can tell her, Frtman^ I fuppofe.

\_JfaTtlobiMu

Frte, "Ik true, I tpade one of your Salt-water
Sharks fleal 'em, whilfi he was eagerly chu/ing his
Commodities, as he calls '£m, in order to my Deliga
Dpoti his Mother. C ^fort to him.

md. Won't yon (peak? "Where were you, I fay,
you Son of a^— an unfortunate Woman i O, Major,
I'm nndoQe ; th^ are all that concern my Eftate, my
Joinnire , my Husband's Deed of Gift , my Evi-
dences fpt all ray Suits now depending I What will
becptne of them r

frttt Yoa, glad tp hear this. [ Jfide,

The/II'bealtfafe, 1 warrant yon, M^dam.

(54 7%e Plain-Deahf.

■ Wii. O where? where? Come, you ViUaiOj along
with me> and &i&w me where.

[ Exeunt Widow, Jerry, Oldfox.
MMtut Manly, Freeman.

Man. Then haft taken the right way to get a Wi-
dow, by making her great Boy rebel ; for, when no—
riling will make a Widow marry, fte'U do't to cro£s
her Children. But canft tboa. in eamefl marry this
Harpy, this Volume of ftriyel'd blor'd Parchments
and taw, thk Attorney's Desk?

Free. Ay,' ay, I'll marry and live honeftly : that is,
gire my Creditors, not her, due Benevolence, pay
my Debts.

Man, Thy Creditors, you fee, are not fo barba-
rous, as to pat thee in Prifon, and wilt thon commie
thy felf to a noifom Dungeon for thy Life ? which
is the only Satisfadion thou canlt gjve thy Creditors
hy this Match.

Free. Why, is not fhe rich ?
' Mart. Ay, but he that marries a Widow for her Mo-,
ney, will find himfelf as much iniftaken, as the Wi-
dow that marries a young Fellow for due Benevolence,
asyoucall it.

Free. Why, d'ye think I Ih^n't defcrve Wages ? I'll
druge faithfully.

- Man. I tell thee again, he that is the Slave in the
Mine, has the leaft Propriety in the Ore : Yon may
dig, and dig, but if thou wgiildfl: have her MOtiey,
rather get to be her Truftee, than her Husband i for
a true Widow will make over her Eftate to any Body,
and cheat her felf, rather than be cheated by her Chil-
dren, or a fecond Husband.

Enter to riiw Jerry, naming in a Flight.

Jtrr. O Law! I'm undone, I'm undone, my Mo-
ther will kill me: You faid you'd ftand by one.

Free. So I will, my brave 'Squire, t warrant thee.

■'^trr. Ay, but I dare not nay 'till flie comfii, for
flie s as furious, now flie has loft her Writings, as a
Bjtch when flie has loft her Puppies.

- Mrm. The Comparifon's handfom !

o- >r.

the PUfn-DeaUr, tfy

jFtrr. O, (he's here !

Emttr fFidow Blackacre and Oldfoz.

Frtt. [ To the Sailer. [ Take him, Jack, and make
hafie with him to your Maker's Lodging ; and be
fure you keep him ap till I come. lEx. Jerr. snJ SaiUr.

Wid. O my deat Writings ! Where'i thu Heathei*
Rogaej my Minor.

Frit. Gone to drown or hang himfelf.

md. No, I know him too well, he'll ne'er bp FtU
it ft that way; bm he may go and chufe a Goardiaa
of his own Head, and fo be Felo da fit hitu, for hs
has not yet chofen one.

B-ee. Say you To? And he flian't wine one. C^y&JIr.'.

f^ui. Batj now I think on't, 'tis you. Sir, have pnt
this Cheat upon me j for there is a Saying, Tait held
af s Msid hj her Smocky and s Widow hj bcr Writinftf md
tbej eawm^jrem jau : But 1'!] play &{t and loole with
yoD yet, U there be Law j and my Minor and Wri-
tings are not forth-coming, I'll bring my Aiftion of
Detinue or Trover. But nrft I'll try to ^nd out this
Guardianlefs, graceleG Villain. Will you jge, Major i

Man. If you have loft your Evidence, I hope yont :
Caufes cannot go on, and I may be gone i

Wid. O no, flay but a making Water while, ( as
I one may fay } and I'll be with you again.

lExit Widow andOXiSox.
Manet Manly and Freeman.

I\nt. Well, fare I am the firft Man that ever began
a Lore Intrigue in Wefimnjier-Hall.

Man. No, fnre j for the Love to a Widow general-
I ly beons here : And as the Widow's Caufe goes againft
the Heir or Executors, the Jointure Rivals commence
iheir Soitto the Widow.

Aw. Well, bat how^ pray, have you paft your
I time here, fmce I was forc'd to leave yon alone i Yon
have had a great deal of Patience.

Man. Is this a Place te be alone, or have Patience
in i But I have had Patience indeed ; for I have drawn
upon me. Once I came, but three Qparreis^ and iifcr^

laW'Suits.

Frtt,

, tJiS 716* PUithVeakr'.

Free, tiny, fakh^ you are coo ctilft to be lee loofe
in the World ; you feou'd be tied up again in your
Sea-kennelj call'd a Ship. But how con d you quar-
rel here.

. Man. How cotfd I refrsdn ? A Lawyer talk'd ptremp-^
lOrily and faucily to me, and as good as gave me the
Lye.

Free. They do it fo often to one another at the Bar,'
that they make no Bones on't elfewhere.

Man. Howerer, I gave htm a Caff on the Ear ;
Mfberenpon he jogs two Men, whofe Backs were
tnrn'd to us, ( for they were reading at a Bookfellers)
to witnefs Ifh-ack him fitting the Courts j which Of-
fice they fo readily promis'd, that I call'd 'em Rafcals,
and Knights of the Poll : One of 'em prefcntly calls
two other abfent Witneffes, who were coming co-
wards US at a diitance j whilft the other, with a whi-
fper, defires to know my Name, that he might have
Satisfadion by way of Challenge, as t'other by way
of Writ ; but if it Were not hither to dired his Bro-
ther's Writ, than his own Challenge : There you fee
H <ait of my Quarrels,- and two of my Law-Suits.

Free. So:-- — -and the other two ?

Man. For advifing a Poet to leave oiF Writing and
turn Lawyer, becauTe he is dull, and impudent, and
fays or writes nothing now but by Precedent.

Free. And the third Quarrd.?

Man. For giving more fincefe Advice, to a hand-
fom, well-drell, young Fellow ( who ask'd it t6a) nflc
to marry a Wench, that he lov'd, and I had lain with.

Free. Nay, if you will be giving ydur fincere Ad-
vice to Lovers and Poets, you will not fail of Quar-
rels.

Man. Or if I flay in this Place ,* for I fee inore
Quarrels crovvditig upon nte : Let's be gone and a-
Toid *em.

EM$ir Novel, at s Dlpmeet coming tewards thtm.
A Plague on fnm, that Sneer u ominoas to ns, he
is ccmung upon us, and we fhall not be rid of him.

^ the PlahDeaier. 67

tftv. Dear Bally, don't look fo grntn upon me,'

2 on told me jafl now, yon bad forgiTen me a UctlA
armlet Raillery upon wooden Legs lafl Ntghr.

Mm, Yesj yes, pray be gone, I am talking of BgH
linefs.

tf«v. Can't I hear it ? I love thee, and will be
faithfaj, and always- ■

Mori. Impertinent ! 'tis fiuiinefs that concerns fVn^
mim only.

Jfyv. Well) I love Fi^eemm too, and wou'd not dl^
vulge his Secret: Prithee fpeak, prithee I muft— —

AUn. Prithee let me be rid of thee, I muft be rid
of thee.

Nov. Faith, thou canft hardly, I love thee fbi
Come, I muft know the Bufinefs.

Man. So, I have it now. (^JfiJt^

Why, if you needs will know Jt, he has a Quarrel,
and his Adverfary bids him bring two Friends with
him : Kow I am one, and ■ we are thinking who
we (ball have for a Third.

Several crejjhig the Stage.

Ntv. A pox, there goes a Fellow owes me an hundred
Poand, and goes out of Town to morrow : I'll fpeak
with him, and come to you prefently ^Exir Novel.

Man. No but you won't.

Fr«. You are dextronfly rid of him.
Enttr OWfox.

Man. To what purpofe, lince here comes anorfier,'
as impertinent : I know, by his Grin, he is bound
hither.

Old. Your Servant, worthy, noble Captain : Veil,'
I have lefc the Widow, becaufe Oie carry'd me from
your Company ; for faith, Captain, I muft needs
tell thee, chou art the only Officer in England, who
was not an EJ^hil-OSiccr, that I care for.

Man. I'm (orry for't.

Old. Why, won'dft thou have me love chem I

Man. Any Body, rather thaa me.

Old. What, you are modeft, I fee, therefore coo^
I love thee.

68 the Pfatn-Dsaler:

Man. No, I am not modeft, bnc love to brdg my fel^'
and can't p^ciently hear you fight over the laft Civil
Warj therefore go look out the Fellow I faw juft
aow here, that walks with hb Sword and Stockings
om at Heels, and let him tell yon the Hiftory of thac
. Sc4r on his Cheek, to giveyoa occafion to (hew yours,
got in the Field at BUamihuryy not that niEiihil : Go
to him, poor Fellow, he is fafling, and has not. yet
the Happinefs this Morning to flink of Brandy and
Tobacco j go, give him lome xxs hear yon^ I ath
buiie.

OU. Well, i'gad, I love dice, now. Boy, for thy
Surlinefs j thou art no tame Captain, I fee, that will
faifer .

Mm. An old For.

OIL All thac fban't make me angry : I confidei thac
thou are peevifh, and fretting : at lome ill Snccefs at
Law. Prithee tell me what ill Lack you have mec
%nth here.

Man. You.

OU. Do I look like the PiAore of ill Luck } Gad-
fnonns 1 love thee more and more j and ihatl I tell
thee what made me love thee firA.

MAn. Do : that 1 may be rid of that dama'd Qna>-
lity, and thee.

OU. 'Twas thy wearing that broad Sword there.

Man. Here, Vruman, lot's change : I'll never wear
it more.

OU. How I You won't fare. Prithee don't look
like one of our Holy-day Captains now a-days, with
a Bodkin by your iide, yoa Martinet Rogues.

Mm. (O, then there's hopes.) \AjUt.

What, d'ye find fault with Martinet? Let me ten you.
Sir, 'tis the beft Exercife in the World j the moft rea-
dy,, moil esfie, moft graceful Exercife that ever was
us'd, and the moft

OU. Nay, nay. Sir, no more. Sir, yoar Servant^
if you praifc Martinet once, 1 have done with you.
Sir. Martinet \ Martinet ! ■ [ Knit Oldfox.

"^ . fie Plah'Dealer. 69

: Ffv. Najr, yoa hsve made him tears yon as wil-
UQgly> as ever-he did an Enemy ^ for he was truly fof
^e K^g and Parliataonc : for the Parliament, in their
tjRi and for the King, incheatii^ 'em of their Pay,
and never hurting the King's Party in the Field.
EMer 4 JUvjtr towards tbtm. .

AUm. A PoK I this way^ hen's a Lawyer I know
tbr^^tiung as with another greeting.
, Law, Mr, Sir, your very Servant, I was afraid you
had forgotten me.

iiLm, I was not .afraid you had forgotten ine.

taW' Ko, Sir, we Lawyers have pr^ty good Me-
Inorics.

Aiin. Yon ought to hav6 by your Wits. .

I^a»». O, yod are a merry GentleoDan, Sir • I re-
member ybu were merry, when X was laft in your
Company.

AUn. I was nevtr merry in thy CoAipaay,Mr.Law-
yetj fure.

Law. Why , I'm |are yoa jolfd upon me, and
Ilunkni'd ^9 ^ Night loiijg.

Aifn. ^%3fa,v^^ I prithee what barbarous Law terni
is that i* . ,

Latif' Shtaqming ! Why, doii't you Know that ? 'tis
all our way of Wit, Sir.

Man. I am glad I do not know it then ! Shammlpg I
What does he meahby't, Fntmait ?

Fret. Shamming, iscelU^gyon aainfipid-duULye«
with a dujt Face, which {h^% Wag the Aikhpr ooly;-
laqghs » t^oafelf i aiid m^t^ng tuittfelf believe 'tis a
go^ Je^* Pints ^ Sham «^y upon t^nielf. ...

J^. So, yow Lawyers Jefi, I find, Hfile his Pra-
t&x, has tttore Knavery than Wit in'ic. I Ihon'd oiak*
tfa$ worft St^iomer in E^lmd \ I hiuft always detU
iogenioiiOy, as well with you, Mr. Lawyer, and ad*
Tife ypu to t>e feen rather .i#iih Attorneys and Sotid-
tors, than fuch FeHows as 1 to; they will tSredfo you^
Prs^ct fnor«.

Law, No, ^, ^ont Company's an Hohoar to me.

Mte. Noj faiA, go this way, there gp^ an At-
f tonwfi

70 The Flaiit- Dealer.

torney, lea« m« for him j let it never be faid, a Law-
yer's civility did him hurt.

■Lew. No, worthy honour'd Sir, 111 not leave yon
forany Aicorney, fure.

Man. Unlefs he had aFee in his Hand.
Law. Have-you any bufinefs here. Sir ? try me :
I'd ferve you fooner than any Attorney breathing. -

Man. Bufinefs So I have thought of a fure way.'

■ - C^M--

Yes, faith, I have a little bufinefs.

Law. Have you fo,' Sir, in what Court, Sir ? what
is't. Sir ? tell me but how 1 may ferve you, and I'll
do't. Sir, and take it for as great an honour- ■ ■

Man. Faith, 'tis for a poor Orphan of a Sea-Officer
of mine, that has no Money ; but if it cou'd be fol-
low'd in Ftrma Pauperis, and when the Legacy's reco-
vered ■ 1

Law. Fortifa Pauperis, Sir I '
Man. Ay, Sir.

Several creffittg the Stage.
Law. Mr. Bumhlecafe, Mr. Bumblecaft, a Word vrith
you ,• Siri I beg your Pardon at preicnt, 1 have a lit-
tle bufinefs

Man. WWch is not in Forma Pauperis. [Ex. Lawyer.
Free. So, you have now found a way to be lid of
People without quarrelling.

Enter Alderman.
Man. But here's a Gicy-Rogue will flick as hard
upon us, as if I ow'd him Money.

JU Captain, noble Sir, I am yours heartily, d'ye
fee : .Why lliou'd you avoid your old Friends ?

, MarU'Ani why ftiou'd you follow me ? I owe yoa
nothing.

Aid. Out of my hearty refpefls to you j for there
isnot a Man in England- - • •^—
'■ ;»*>». Thou wou'dft fave from hanging. With the
eipence of a Shilling only.

■ aU. Nay, nay, but Captain, you are like enough
to tell me

,\ , Man.

-• D,l.z.:;,L.OOg[C

TbtMaim- Dialer: 71

Man. Truth, which you won't care ttfheaf ; tbere-
fore yoD had better go talk with fome body elfe.

Aid. No, I know no body can inform me bcttery-
of iom^ yonng Wit, or Spendthrift, that has agood
dipt Seat andjBflate in MiddUfex, HartforJJhire, Efftxi
or Katty any of thefe won'd lerre my turn : now, if
you knew of fuch an one, and wou'd but help '

Man. Yon CO finiHi his ruin.

^. r&tthj you ihou'd have a fnip ■ ■ ,

Man. Of yout Nole, you thirty in the hundred,
^arcal ; won'd you jaakt me your Squire Seetir, your
Bawd for Mannon i tTths Urn h thi Nifii

Aid. Oh i

Tree; Hold, or here will be your third Law-Suit.

Aid. Ga^ precious, you he^oruig Peribo you, are
yoQ wild i I meant you no hint* Sir ; I begin to chinfe >
( as things go 3 Land-fecuricy befl, and hare, for a
convenient Mortgage, fome ten, fifteen , cr twenty.
tbonfand Pound by me.

Man. Then go lay it out apon an Hof^tal, and .
take a Mortgage of lleaven, according to your City-
coftom ,- for you chink ^y laying out a Hccle Money,
to hook in i;hac too hereafter ; do, J fay , and keep
the Poor you've made by ' taking Forfeitures , that
Heaven may not cake yours. . .

Aid. No, to' keep the Cripples you make this War ;
this War fpoils our Trade.

Man. Damn your Trade, 'tis the better for'r. .

Aid. Whatj will you fpeak.againft pur Trade?

Man. And date yon fpeak againft the War, oof
Trade?

AU. Well, he may be a Convoy of Ships I aW
ooncern'd in. \Jifide:

Come, Captain^ I will have a fair coric^ndency
with yon, fay what you will.

Man. Then prithee be gone. « , ' .

Aid. No, faith; priihee. Captain, letV go drink a.
pifli of Lac*d Coffee, and talk of the Times: Come,
ril treat you / nay, yon Ihalt go, .for I have no Bn-
finefshere^

F a Mofu

7* the tlam-DeaUr.

AfiM, Bm I hare

Aid. To iHCic ap a Man to give ^tt ft Dtiiiin- s
CoRie^ ilt do thy baAh^ for the6.

^&»; Fftlchj no^)r I think ofi't, fb yon May, ffsWell
as any Man ; fbr'Usto pick up a Man> t%> bift bbuinl
With me, to one who expeAs City-fecurtcy} fot— —

-Aki: N«y^ then your Servant, Gaptaih, bikliiittli
tntift be done.

Mmh. Ay,ifttcanibtithairkyo^, Al^MjiatijWhh-

^V. fittfihftfs, Sit, 1 fty, mujft tte diotae ; and Ae^e's
an Officer of the Tresfary I have ^m Affiir ^rtt h ' ■■ '
[Several erojjhg the St^^.
[Eicit Aldeimaa.

M^. Ydtt fct A6W what the Mighty fri«ndftfpof
the WorM !s t Wiat an tcreqa^nyj fftibreees, And
pteAttfal Prbf^ffioBS Come to : yo« are no more co
txlievd a profelfing Friend , thfin a tlrreatiiuig Ene-
my j and as no Man hurts yott, that teJb you l)«1I
do yoo a. MiTchtef, no Man, yoti fei , U your 5er<
vaiTt who fkys he is fo. Wliy, the Devit, thto fliobM
a Man be troubled with the fiflt-tery of Knavds, if hie
b& not* Fool or Cofty j or with the fondntfi Of Fobb^
if lie be hoca Knftre or Cheat ?

Free. Only for his pleafiiM ; ibr theVe is fotne in
Uar^ng^VwISi and diCat>pdinti!ng Knaves^.

Man. That's a Pleafure , I think , wou'd cofi yon
too dear, ss tvell as marrying, your WIdotv; 4o ^if^
appoint her ^ tot, for my pgrt^ 1 have no pleaAire
by 'etiii tp*ftt id ^efpifiog 'em, wherefee'or I ftneec 'em ;
and then the Pleafure of hoping fo to be rid of *&a*
But ndw my comfort is;, i am not wbrth a Shilli^ in
the Vdrld» which all the World fhall knp*f, aftdth<Al
I'm Tiire I'ftafl Tftv^ none of ^m come ^r rat.

Fret. A very pretty comfort ^ whieh I titink ydn
pay too dear for : Ba»is the tvi^ttt^ Pdahd>gone mice
'ifte MdmSnfe >

^an. To my Boats-Crew : wou'd yoa have 'the
poor, hondft, bnwe Fellows *aot ?

Riu Rather than yon, or I.

The Vlain-Deahr, y>

Mm. Why, aft then without Mone^ ? thon' who
art a Friend to every Body i '

Frtt. I ventuKd my taft fttke upon the Sqalre, to
nick tifm of his Metber ; and cannot help yon to a
Dinner^ HXAsSk you will jgo dine with my Lord— —

Man. No, no, the (jrdlnary is too dearer me,
where Flattery (nad pay for oiy Dinner ; I un no
Herald, or Poet.

Free. We II go then to the Bl(hp[»

Man. There you muft flatnr the old Philofbphy : I
cannot renounce my Reafon for a Dii^ner.

Fnt. Why then let's go to- your Aldenpans.

Man. Hang him, Rogue ! that were not to Dine,
for be makes you drunk with Lees of Sack before Din-
ner, to take away your Stomach : and there yon muft
call V&xry and Extortion, God's BleBings, or the Ho-
oeft turning of the Penny ; hear him brag of the Lea-
ther Breeches in which he trotted firft to Town ; and
make a greater noifo with his Money in his Parlour,
than his Caiheers do in his Copnting-^OD&, without
hopes of bpnowing a Shilling.

Free. Ay, a Poxon't, 'tis like dining wt^ ^C^eat
Gamefters ; and when they fall to their common De&
fnc, fee the heftps of Geld drawn on all hands, with-
ont going to twelve. Let us go to my Lady GoeJl/s.

Man. There te flatter her Looks, yon niufl rainake
her Grand-ChiMrcn for her own; f>raifther Cook,
that fhe may tiA at hiai, and feed her Dogs, not
your felf.

Bet. What d'ye iMnk of eadng with your Lawyer
Chen i V

jMm*. Eat with Mn ! Damn tiim ; to hear hifh eirf-
^ey his^harovs Elequcnce in a Readfne ppbn the
two and vhirEy ^dod Bits in a Shouldi^r of veal j and
^forc'd jroarffclf to praite the cold Bribe-Pye^ chat
IBtJn,and 4]rtnfc Law Fmek Wine, as rong^ and harQi
as his Law Fnntb. A Pox on him, I'd rather J^im in
the Temple-Rounds or Walks, wlrti the Knfa^ti with*
out No&s, oribe Knights of the Poft; who are ho-
nefler Fellows, and better Cotnpany. But let tishome^

. . /

74 'J'^t Pla'ti* Theater.

and try our Fortune ; for I'fl flay no longer here for

your damn'dWidow.

. Frte. Well, let us go home then j for I mnft go for

iny damn'd Widow, and look after my new damn'd

Chacge j three or four hundred Years ago, a Man

might have din'd in this Hall.

/i^JX. -But niyaij tbt Lawyer only herl it fed I

And, Bullj-like, hj ^arrelt gets ba Bread.

; ; , ' . Finis Aftns Tcrtii.

; AGJ IV. SCENE I,

Manly 'j Lo^gitigs.
.. . , , £p/«r Manly rf»i Fidelia.

*''*"TA7^"^'*^"®'*^"*^*^^^**"''*y^^'** haft thou

V \ prevail'd ? fay.
\ - fiV. As I cou'd wifti. Sir.

Man.- So, I told thee what thou wert 6t for, anil
thou wou'dft not believe me. Come, thank me. for
fringing thee acquainted with thy Genius. Well,
thou Jiatt mollified her Heart for me ?
Ji^-.No, Sir, not fo, but what's better.
Man. How } what's bcEter !
-. ^f'-.t^^iiS'rden your Heart againft her. .

Man. Have a care. Sir, my Heart is too much iii
earnpft to be fpfiled with^ and my defire> at height,
and needs no delays to incite it ; what, yeiU .are too
■g.ood a Pimp already, and know how to (indear plear
fure; by with-hojding it i but learetjff your Pages
Bawdy, honie tricks J %, andtellme, will Ibe be
.jtind ?, , ' ,

i^,, Kinder than yon«>u'd wifli. Sir.,
Man. So then : wejU, p^ec, whtt fatd ftei .
. £id. She laid . - ,

The. Plain -Dealer, 7 j

Men. What ? thou'rt To tedious j fpeak comfort to
me : what ?
. BJ. That of all things you are her AverHon.
Man. How.'
. Fid. That (he wou'd fooner take a Bedfellow pat of
aoHofpital, and Difeafes into her Arms, than you.
Man. What?

Fit/. That flje wou'd rather truft her Honour with
9 diiTolute, debauch'd HeiSor J nay worfe, with a
finical baffled Coward, all orer loathfom with affefla-
tion of the fine Gencleman.
Mam. What's all this you fay ?
Fid. Nay, that my offers of your Low to her, were
more offenlive, than when Parents wooe their Virgin-
Daughters, to the enjoyment of Riches only j and
that yon were, in all CircumAances, as naufeous to
her as a Husband on compulsion.

fidan. Hold ,- I understand you not. - -
, . FU So, 'twill work I fee. \_Aftdt.

Man. Did you not tell me— —
Fid. She caU'd you ten thoufand Ruffians.
Man. Hold, i lay.

Fid. Brutes

Man. Hold.

Fid. Sea-Monfters •

Mati. Damn your intelligence: hear me a little now.
Fid. Nay, furly Coward, Ihe call'd yon too.
Af*i», Won't you hold yet? hold, or
Fid. Nay, Sir, pardon me ; [ cou'd not but tell yon
flie had the bafenefs, the injuftice, to call you Cow-
ard. Sir, Coward, Coward, Sir. -
Man. Not yet — —
Fid. I've done^ Coward, Sir.
Man. pid not you fay Ihe was kinder than I cou'd
wiffi her ?

i^</..Yes, Sir. ■.

Ma^. How then ? — ^ O — — ^ I underftand yoo
now. ; At firfl (he appear'd in rage , and difdain, the
trueit itgn oTa; icoming Woman j but at laft, you pre-
vgil'ct it feens. did yon not ?

■ F4 ...^Ji^

^6 The flah-pealtr.

Ft J. YSSj-Sir. - ■

Man. So then, let's know that only ; come prit^e,

withodt delays ; I'll kifs thee for that News bflf«c»e-

hand. ■ -

• FiJ. So ; tlie Kifs t'tn fute is welcome to me, wbat-

foe'er the News will be to you. [^<&.

^ Man. Come, fpeak, my dear Voluntier.

■ FtJ. How welcome were that kiiid word teo » if it
Were riot for anpther Womarts fake ! \.4fiJei

■ Man. What^ won't you (peak ? you preVaiVd for mq»
at Jaft, you fay ?

Ftd. No, Sir.

Man. No more of your fooling. Sir, it will not
agree with rty impatience or temper.
/ K<^. Then not to fo(rf you. Sir, I ipoka to her fot
you, !)Bt prerail'd for my felf y flie won'd rtot bear
me when Ifpoke in your behalf; but bid me fay what
I won'd in my own , tho' fte gave me no occafien^
fte wis fo coming, and fo was kinder. Sir, than you
cou'd wilh ; which \ was otlly afraid to let you know,
without feme warning. ■ ■
: Man. How's this? Young Man, yon are of a lying
• Age ; but I muft hear you out, andi f- -

■ Fid. I wou'd not abuie you, and cannot wrong her
by any report of her, (he is fo wicked.

Man. How, wicked I had fto the impudence, at
the fecOhd fight of you on^y — —

FiJ- ImporfencCj Sir ! Oh, flitt has impndence e-
ftough to put a Cotirt out trf Countenance, and de-
bauch a Stews.

■ Man. Why, what faid (he ?

Ftd. Her tongue, Iconfcfs wasfltent; butherfpeak-
ing Eyes gloted fuch things more immodeft, and lafd-
vi«05,tban Ravifhers eta adt, or Women umiler a con-
tinemeiit think.

Man. I know there are thof^ whofe Eves refleift
inore Obfcenity, than the Gfeffcs in Atcoyes; but
ihere are others too who nfe a iittte Ait v^cheiir
ioc^s; ro make 'cm feem mott bedotifitl, not jnbri!
loving : which vain young FellbWs, flHs-y^fti; »*
- ' ^ ■- ,v- apt

71^ PUiih Dealer. fj

ape to ipterpret in their own favoBr, and to the
Lftdy's wrt>ng. ]

TU. Seldonij Sir ; pray have yon a care of gloting
Eyes; for he thaclores to gaze upon 'em, will find
at laftj a tbonfand Foots and Cuck6Ids in ^m inJItead

of Cx^fV/.

Mm. Very well> Sir: but, what, you had only
Eyf-kindnels froin Ol\vt» ?

BJ. I tell you again. Sir, no Woman flicks there ;
£}'e>-pit)intfes of Low they only keep ; nay, they are
Contrafts which make yon fure of "em. In flrort. Sir,
Ifae feeing me, nith fiiame and amazement dumb, un-
idive, and refiftiefs, threw her twifling Arms about
fay Neck, and finorher'd me with a thoufand taftele^
Kifies : teliere nie. Sir, they were fo to me.

Man. Why did yon not avoid tm then ?

Fid. I fenced with her eager Arms, as yon did with
the Grapples of the Enemy s Fire-fiiip ; and ncffhing
but tnrting 'em off, coo'd have fi-eed me.

M/ian. Damn'd, damn'd Womati, that oou'd be fb
folfe and infamons ! And damn'd, damn'd Heart tif
mine, that cannot yet be ialfe, tho' fo infamons I
Wliar eafie, tame, fuffering, trampled things does cliat
littIe<Sod of talking Cowants make of us .' but

fid. So ! it worlts, I find, as I expcded. [ jifidt.

Mtn. fiat fbe wds falfe to -me before, jlie told me fo
her felf, and yet 1 cou'd not quire bfclicve it ^ but fte
was. So that her fecond fslfcnefs is a favour to me,
not an injury, in revenging me upon tlie Man ^ae
wrong'd me firft of her Love. Her Love ! — '—^ a
Whores, a Witches Love ! — ^fint what, did fhe not

kits well. Sir? Ito-fiire 1 tiionght her Lips but I

imrft hot think of 'em more — ^but yet they are fijch
I con'd -ftili kifs-— '-•grow to — ^and then tear off
with my Teeth, grind *em into mammocks, and fpit
'em into tier Cutitbld's Pace.

■Fid. foorMan, ho* uhesfiehcis ! I havehirdly
tbeHpartto give hifmfdmuth' pain, tho' withal Igive
bim B Cure j and to my felf new Life. S,A^de^

j% The PUinDealer:

. Af4i*.> But whatj hqr Kifies fure cou'dnot but warm

you into Deftre at laft, or a compliance wi h hers at

leaft?

/i-/. Nay more, I confefs, :-

Man, What more ^ fpeak.

FW. All you cou'd fear had pafsM between us, if Z
<^ou*d have been made to wrong you. Sir, in that
nature.

. Mm. Cou'd have bi^en made ! you lye, you did.
.' Fii/, indeed. Sir, 'twas impofUble for me ; befides^
we were interrupted by avifit; but, I confefs, (he
Wop'd not let roe ftir, till I prorais'd to return to her
again within this Hour, as foon as ,it fhou'd be dark ;
by which time fiie_wou'd djfpofe of her vifit, and her
Servants^, and her felf, for my reception : which X
was fain co promise to get from her. '
, .Mm. Ha ] .

, Fid. But if ever I go near her agaiti, may you,
Sirj think mea$-^l^e to you, as /be is j hate and r&-
nounceme,. as yoii ought to do her, ^nd I hope will
do now.

Man. Well, but. now I think on't> you /ball keep
your Word with your Lady. What, a young Fellow,
and fail the firA, nay, fo tempting an adignation .'
, Fid. How, Sir.*;
'. - Mjn. I fay, yoii l^iallgo to her when 'tis darkj and
iliallnot difappoint her. .

,FiJ. Ij Sir ! I /hoo'd difappoint' her njore by go-
ing, for ~ . ./

Man. How fb ? , . . , ,

, Fidrilsr ImpudencCj ,aiid Im'affice ip you, will
pi3ke'me difappoint her Love : iQath-her. - .
' . Mar'., Come, yoii have.my.leave j'apd if you diP
gqT^. her,'; I'll go with yEoi^ md' 3^ iSqve\. whilft you
fi]Slt.taIk it only. , . ,. -' ' .j " '

'"'Fill. You, Sir! nayVtben ni-nevef gonear'^er.
YoU; ,^j^ Love»;SuI.;You muff biit 5« it 'ndeed,
after airj have laidtQ.you. 'Thiqk'of your Honour,
Sr^7);,oVe ■{*'''"■.. .' 1'. •-;;''.■ V-i .'.r^;

>, ' Maih

The Piah-Dealer. 79

. Man. 'Q^ell, call k Revenge , and that Is honoura-
ble : III be reveng'd on her j and thou flialt be my
Second.

fid. Not in a bafe afiion. Sir, when yoa are yoor
own Enemy: Ogo, not near her. Sir, -for Heavens
CikCj for yoor own, think not of it.

Mam. How concern'd you are ! I thought I fbou'd
catch yon. : What, yoa are my Rival at laC!, and are
in LoYc with her your felf j and have fpofcen ill of
her out of your love to her, not me j and therefore
wou'd not have me go to her.

Ft J. Heaven witnefs for me, 'tis becanfe I love yoif
only, I won'd not hare yon go to her.
' Afau, Come, come, the more I think on't, the more
I'm fatisfied you do love her : thofe Kiffes, yoang
Man, I knew were irrififtlble; 'tis certain. *'

fid. There is nothing certain in the World, Sir, bac
ny Truth, and your Coui-age.

Man. Your Servant, Sir. Befides^lle, and nn-
grateful, as fhe has been to me ; and tho' I may be-
lieve hcf hatred to me, great as you report it ; yec
I cannot think you are lo foon, and at that rate, be-
lov'd by her, tho' you may endeavour it.
- Fid. Nay, if that be all, and you doubt it fiill.
Sir, I will condufS you to her ; and unfcen, your
Ears Aiall judge of her falfenefs, and my truth to
you, if that will fatisfie you.

Man. Yes, there is fome fatisfaiflion in being quite
out of doubt : becaufe 'tis that alone withholds us
from the pleafure of Revenge. '

Fid. Revenge ! What Revenge can yon have. Sir ?
Difdain is beu reveng'd by fcorn ,- and faithlefs Love,
by loving another, and making'her happy with the

othen lofiogs ; which, if I might advife :

E«w Freeman'. ■ .-r.

JW««. Not a-Wbrd more, '/■''■ '■ '

f4*e: What, are you talking of Love yet, Captjin?
Ilhoi^ht yoiihad'done with'r.' '''''[.,'" ' ' ' • '

Hm. Wby, what did yot( hear m^ fay ?

ffte. Soitae4i}ng impetfe^y of Love^ -l chink. ' '

8o The Plain-I>cakT.

Mm. X was only wondring why Fools, RafcaU,
and derenlefs Wretches, (hon'ij ftill h«vQ tbf better of
Men of Merit with all Women ; as much as witbtheic
, own ccmmon Miftjrefs, Fortune !

Frte. Becaofe moft Women, like Fwtnne are
blind, feem to do all things in jeft, and talie plcafure
ki extravagant adions { their Love delerves neither
thanics, or blame, for they cannot help it '. 'tis all ftai-
pathy ; therefore the noine, the finiol, the talkative,
the cowardly, and efieminate, have thebdttcr of [h«
brave, the reafbnable, and Man of Honoor; for they
have no more reafon in their love^ or kradnefs, than
Fortune her felf.

A^x. Yes, they have their Retfbn. Flrt>, HoooTir
in a Man they fear too nuich to love ; and Senfe in a
lover, upbraids their wmt itf it ; and they hau any
thiog that dilturbs their Rdmii:ation of them£ilvc$ ; but
they are of chat vain number, who had rather Huw
their &ire geaerolicy, in giving away profuftly to
wcTthlefs Flatterers, than in paying )Qtt Debts, And
in fhortt all Women, like Fortune, { as yoa &y ) and
Rewards, are loft, by too much meriting.

Fid. All Women, Sir I fure there are (bme, who have
no other quarrel to a lovers merits biit t\m it begets
their derpair of him.

, Mitt.- ThQu arc young enough to he CKduloiu; but
we- - ■ ■

"Bnttr I Sailor.

I Sail. Here are now below, the fi»>lding, daj^iei!
Gentlewoman, aiod that Ma^ Qid - — ol d -'■ — Fop I
thkik yoa call him,

Frte. Oldest, prithee bid '<iii<cQme ap, wiife your
leave, Captain, for now J c^n talk wich^r-up^n <th«
fquare,* If I fhall not diQurb you.

Man. No - for I'll be gone. Come, V-pl^Dceei;

Avf. Nay, pray ftpy ; the Scene between m will not
be To tedious to yon as you think: l^ides* yiMj AflW
fee, how Irigg'd my Squjireour, fvj^ the namm of
my Jhif*iacK?r War4Eo5ei Misun^ftrjOBfj&tf-vWrt-

7><f PfahDeakri 8f

ifCimiht's ba^dsj and by this time dreft, and will b«
wonh your feeing. Stay> and I'll fetch my Fcwrf.

MiM. No ,* yo& know I cannot «a[ily ku£h : beAdes,
my VolttiKesr uid Ihave bofineri abroad. [Ex-Muily,
Fidelia m »»^f Ftee^ian m t'ethir.
Bittr Major OMfox ai.!/ ffi£)w Blackacre.

mj. What, no body here ! Did oot tbe Fellow fay
he w wiiAui ?

OU Yes^ Lady j and be aiay be perhaps a HttJa
bufie at preitenc $ but, if yoB tMok the time lone till
he come^ {^UrfeUittg Pafcri2 I'll tead you here fomq
of tfac fmics of my leUurej the overilowii^ of my
Faoc^ and Pko. (To v^bo tne right, Ibe muft know
my pans; l4fide»

Come - ' ■■ ■

H^. No, no; t bare reading Work enouf^ of my
own, in my Bag. I thank yea.

oCl it Law, Ut^stfti { but here's a Poem, hi tdonk
Verfe, which I think a handfom declaraiioa of one's
FaiEoli.

fFiJ. O t if yoa udk «f Dsclaratiom, 1*11 fliew yon
Mie of ^ pt^tieft pen'd things, which I mended
too toy lelf, yoQ muft know, v

OU. Nay, X^y, if you have nfbd yow fetf fo muck
to thereiang harALaw.that yoa hate fmooth Poetry^
here is a Charader for you, of——

mJ. A Charader 1 Nay, then I'll fiiew yon my Bill
in Chmcerjf here, that ^ives you fnch a CharaAer of
w^ Mndzry, makes him as black*

OU, P/baw i awayi away, Lady. Bat if you think
the ChafliAcr too long, here is an Epigram, not abore
tMmty Uoei, upon a cruel Ijidy ; who Decreed her
Serraoc Ibou'd hang himfelf, to demonftcate his
Paffioa.

HtJ. Decreed ! if yoa talk of Decreeing, I have
fscfa a Decree here^ drawn by the fiocft Clerk——

OU. O Lady, Lady, all intcrroption, and no fenft

bnweca ni, m if we were Lawyers at the Bar ! But I

had Scagoc^ AfoBt and Idttieim never lodg in a hea4

together.

gx ' The PlaiM-DealtK'^

together. ' If yon hate Verfes, Tli giveyoiia caftof
my politicks in Profe : 'tis a Letter to a Friend In thtif
Country ,- which is now the way of all fuch fober,
Iblid Perfons as my felf, when they have a mind tC
pabHIh theirdifguft to the Times; tho' perhaps, be-
tween you and 1, they have no Ftieod in ihe Coun-
try. And fare a Politick, ferious Perfon may as well
have a feigtf'd Friend in the Country to write to, as
well as an idle Poet a feign'd Miftrefs to write to. hnd
fo here's my Letter to a Friend, ot no Friend, in the
Country, concerning the late ConjuntSure of Afiairs^-
in relation to Cofee~hoHfes : or The Coffee-mans Cafe.
■' ffiJ. Nay, if your Letter have a Cafe in't, 'tis fothe-
thing ; but fiiit 111 read you a Letter of mine, to i
Friend in the Country, call'd a Letter of Attorney.

Eattr to them Freeman and Jerty Blackacre, i» «a

old gaudy Suit^ attdredBrtecbetofFKetnan't.

did. What, interruption ftill ? O the plague of in-
terruption I worfe to an Author, than the plague of
Criticks I - l^^e^

Wid. What's this I fee, Jerry Blaekacrt^ my Minor,
in red Breeches! What, haft thou left the modeft
reemly Garb of Gown and Cap, for this? And hav&
I loft all iny good Inm of Chancery breeding upon
fhee then ? And thoa wilt go a breeding thy lelf from'
our Inn of Chancery and Wefiminfitr~liaUy at Coffee-
houfes, and Ordinaries, Play-houfet, Tennis courts,
and Bawdy houfes i

Jerr. Ay, ay, what then ? perhaps I will j but what's
that to you i here's my Guaniian and Tutor noWj' for-
footh, that I am out of' your Huckfters hands. '

Wii. How i thou han not chofen him for thy
Guardian yet?

Jtrr. No, but be has chofen me for his Charge^
and that's all one-; and I'll do any thing he^ll have
me, and go all the World over with him ; to Ordi-
naries, and Bawdy-houfcs! or any where elfe.

Wid.To Ordinaries and Bawdy- houfes! have a care.
Minor, thou wilt infeeble there thy Eftaie and Body ?

do

The Plain-beater. ti

do noe go to Ordinaries and Bawcfy>honre% good

Jen, Why, how come yon to know any ill by
Bawdy-bonJes i You never had any hurt by 'em, had
yoD, ibrfooth^ Pray hold your ftlf contented j if I
do go where Money and Wenches are to be had, you
may thank your felf ; for you us'd me fo unnaturally,
you wou'd never let me have a Penny to gjy abroad
with : nor fo much a$ come near the Garret where
yonr Maidens lay; nay, yoa wou'd not fo much as
let me play atHotcockles wich 'em^ nor have any Ro<
creation with 'em, tho* one fbou'd have kifs'd you be-
hind, yon were To unnatural a Mother^ fo you were.

Fret. Ay, a very unnatural Mother, faith. Squire.

Wii, But, yerry^ conHcler thou art yet buta Minorj
however, if thou wilt go home with me again, and
be a good Child, thou ftialt fee -- '

Frtt. Madam, I muft have a better care of iny Heir
under Age, than To ; I wou'd fooner trull him alone
with a ftale Waiting woman and a Parfon, than with'
his Widow-Mother and her Lover or Lawyer.

fVid. Why thoti Villain, part Mother and Minor !
Rob me of my Child and my Writings! but thoa
ihalc find there's Law ; and as in the Cafe of Ravilh-
ment of Guard Wefiminlier the Second.

Old. Young Gentleman, Squire, pray be rul'd by
yonr Mother, and your Friends.

Jtn. Yes, ill be rul'd by my Friends, therefore
not by my Mother, fo I won't : I'll choole him for-
my Guardian till I am of Age j nay, may be for as
long as I live.

Wid. Wilt thou fo, thou Wretch? And when thou'rt
of Age, thoii wilt Sign, Seal and Deliver too, wilt
thoul

Jtrr. Yes marry will I, if you go there too.

Wid. O do not fqueeze wax. Son j rather go to Or-
dinaries, andBawdy-houfes, than fqueeze vizts,'. if thon'
doft that, farewell the goodly Mannor of Bhekacre,
with all its Woods, Underwoods, and Appuitenances-
whatever. Oh, oh^ [ifttfj.

Fret.

84 The PlaufDealef.

. fr*e.^n», Madamj inihwt, you f^e t ^m re*
toWi CO hsve a Share in the Eftate, yours or your
Son's i if I cannoc g«t you, I'll ke«p him who U lefS
coy you fiod ; but, H you wou'd hRTe your Soq o*'
gain, youmuil take me toa Peace, orWaJt? hvr^i
or Law ? You fee my HoQage u m my Hwd : Vta in
Pofleffion.

. ^ WtJ, Nay, if Ofie of us muft be ruto'd, «'en tec it
be bin. By my Body^ a good one < Pid you «!ver
^ow yet a Widow marry or not marry fof tfae &kB
of her Child ? I'd hare you to know. Sir, I Aiall bd
hacd enough for you both yet, without marrying you i
if Jtrr^ woo't be rui'd by rac, what &y yoWj BPt*y,
wiU you be ruI'd i Tpcafc.

Jtrr. Let one alone, can'c you ?

Jfid. Wik thouehuf* him for Quardtan, whom I
refufe for Husband }

JfTT. Ay, to chufe, I thank you.

mi. And A-e all my hopes £nillrated ? SbaU I m^
vef hear thee pat Cafes agun to Jekn the Bntlcr> ot
ourVic;jir? Never fee thee amble the Or^rit with
the Judges j aad hear thee, inourTowa^HsHj lAiKbsr
than the Cryer ?

J^r. No ; for I bav-e takeo my Leave of Lawyer-
ing, and Petcifoggic^

Ifid. Pettifogging I Thou prophane Villain, haf^
thou fo i Petii^ggmgl'— then yoq Ihallcahe yMir
Leave of me, and your Eflate coo ; thpu Sai\.t be an
Alien to me and it for ever. Pextifog^ng !

J^m O, bw if you go tbew too, MotlMr,. we
have the Deeds and Settlements, I thank y&n : Won'd
you'dheat me of my Eftate, i'fac i

WiJ. iio, so, I will not cheat your link Bsfttber
£11^ i for thou wert not born in Wedlock.

iT». How's that?

Jtrr. How i Whar Q!a«iic has ibe goc iot Iiw Head
n»w?

mJ. I fay, thon ca^ nor> Jhalt not inbedt thu
JUwi«m'» EOate.

Jtrr.

■D3Nz^:;,C.OOg|i:

the Plain-Dealer. 85

Jm. Why ? w*y, forfboth ? What d'ye moaiii if
yoB go there too ?

1^ Thoa art but my bare Child ; and according
ha the Law, eanft not inherit it: nay, thoa art no^
to moch as Baftard eigne.

■Jtrr. ihiat, what, Am 1 then the Son of a Whore^
Xfocher?

UU. iTie Law feys— — *■

Aw. Madatn, we know vHtizt the Law fh^s /
but bare a care wtelt you lay : po not let yonr ViU
fion, to rnin your Son, ruin your Reputation.

P^. Haiw Repacadon, Sir, am not I a Widow ?
Have no Iniband, nor intend to hare any? Nor
won'dyoii, Ifnppofe, now have toe for a Wife. So,
I think now I'm revenged on Bfiy SoA Aid yott, with-
one marrying, as I told you.

Fret. But confider. Madam-

Jen, Whflty have yon no Sbanie teft in you Mo-
ther?

mi. Wonder hot A it, Majot, 't'u often the poot
preft Widow's Cafe, to give up her Honour to fave
bcriointare J flndfeem 10 be a tight Woman, ratBer
than marry: Aifome young Men, thy fay, pretend^
10 have the hichy jDKeafe, and' tofe then: Ciedh with
noft Wetiiea^: to avokl rtie In^orraoities of fome.

[ Afidt to OldfoA

Siti. Bat one word with you, Madam.

WU. Noj no. Sir. Come, Major, let us make
haAe now to the Prerogative Court.

Old. But, Lady, if what yoa fay be tnie, will you
ffigmatize yont lieMcaiiDft on Hecord?' And, u li
be not viBe,^ how will you prove it ?

WiJ, Pffaaw.' I can prove any thing; and for
rof Reputation, hnow. Major, x who Woman mil
ralne her Reputation, in dtf-inheriiing a
Son (rf a good Eflate j ^lan Ihe won'^ ir.
faint, to inherit an Eftate.

[£M.Wid.Mi01dfox.

06 The Plain-Dealer.

Fret. Madam we mnft not let he? go fb,'

'Sqaire.

Jar. Nay, the Devil can't flop hertho'if fhe has"
amind to't. . But come, BuUy-Guardian, we'll go and;
advife with three Attorneys, two Pro(9:ors, two Solici-
tors, and a Qtrewd.Man of Whitt-Friars, neither At-
torney, Protedor, or Solicitor, but as pure a Pimp.
to the Law as any of 'em; and fure all they will.be
hard enough for her, for I fear, Bally-Guardian^
ypu are too good a Joker to have any Law in your'
Head. ,

Fret, Thou'rt in the right on't, 'Squire, I undcr-
flandnol4aw: efpecially that againft Baftards, fmce!
I'm fure the Cunom is againft that Law ; and more
People get Eitates by being fo, than lolc 'em.

[ Etttuat..

The Scene changes to Olivia'i Ijojging,

EHter Lord Plaufible tfW£d7,3»r£ a CanMt.

L. Plauf. Little Gerrtleman, your mofl; obedient,:
faithful, humble Servant : Where^ I befeech you, is
that divine Perfon, your Noble Lady ? "

Bey. Gone out, my Lord; but commanded- ml! to.
give you this Letter.

\_Q'ivtthim*Lfttttr.

£»fer *e iiw Novel.

Ii. Ei«»/t, Which he muft not obferre;

.\_j^ie. PHtfitijff.'

Nov. Hey, Boy, whew is thy Lady ?

Bey. Gone out, Sir j but I muft beg a word «ith
you. ^Givtt him a: Lattr, and'Exit.:

Nov. For me ? Soj {] Futt up the Lttttr. .

Servant, Servant, my Lord ; you lee the Lady kocw,
of your coming, foe ihe is gone our.

L.PUi'f.

D3l,z^:;,C.OOg|i: .

Jht naiti-Dealer. Zy

*-'L.-Phitf.Siri I humHy beleech yop noe.ro cenfure
the Lady's good Breeding : She has fcafon to ufe
more liberty wiih me, than v^'uh any other Man.
. Uitv. How, Vioount, how ? . .

L. Tlauf. Nay, I humbly befeech yon, be not 19
Chokr ; whore there is moll Love, there may ba
moft Freedom. /■ ■ -j . - ,

Nov. Nay, then 'tis ttme.tQ.cqin^.t^anfclercir-
ment with.yoa, and to tell you, yoo muft think no
more of this Lady's Love. .,■■'■■

L. TUuf. Why, noder CorreAion, dear Sit?

Nov. There >Bre Reafons, Reafons, Vicount.

L. PJauf. What, 1 befeech you, noble Sir ? .

JVm;. 'Prithe«, prithee, be not impertinent, my
Lord ; fome of you Lords are Cuch conceite.d, weU-
affured, impertinent Rogues. , .

L. Piduf. And you noble. Wits^ aie fo fi^U ofjfli^m?
ming and droUiQg, one knows not where to hare you
ferioufly.

Nov. Well, yon Ihall ^d me in Bed with this L»^
dy,' oneof tbcfedays.

•..■CFlauf, Nay, I befeech you, fpare.ihe Lady's Ho-
nour; for her s and mine wiU be aill one fhortly. -,
- Nov. Prithee, my I-ord, be not an Afs : Doft thou
think to get her from me ? 1 have had fuch En-
CQuragements -^ •■ -— ^ . . ; . - .

L. TUuf. I have not. been choiighc unworthy of 'env
■^ ^oy.'What, not like mine 1 Gome to anEclercif-
ment, asj faid.

L. TUuf. Why, ferioufly then, file has told me, Vi-.
eoD&tefi founded prettily.;

^^ Nvi. And me^ that Navtl w>s a Nstrite fiie woa'd
fooner change her's for, than for any Title in £»£-•
Und. t ■' ■ ■ • \

L. TUuf She has commended the Softnefs and Re-
fpedfulnefs bf my Behavionr.

Nra. She has prais'd the Briffcnefs of my Raillery
^aK things, Man, , ■. ;

L.f/tf«/: TheSleepincfiof myEyesflielik'd, ■

G 2 Nvo\

88 tU PlaiH-DeaUf.

Nov. SleepineTs! Daloefs, Dolnefs. ButtwHetoe^
nefi c^ mine fte ador'd.

L. TUttf. The Brightfters of my Hait Ihe Uk'd.

Nov. The Brightnefsl No, the Gresmnbls^ Vsm^
rant.
But the Bkchnefs and Lnftre of mioe flw adn^s.

L. Vlauf, The Gentlenefs of my Smilt.

Nov. The SUWky <rf my Leer.

L. Flauf. Tiib Cleamers of my Comf4esioR.

Nov. The Redne0 of my Lips.

L. viaiif. The WWteMfs of my Teeth.

Nov. My janty way of flicking thetn.

£. Fkuf. The Sweeenrfs of my Breadi.

Nov. Ha, hal^ nay> th«a flw abns^d youi

'tis pli^ j for you know what Manly fsid i^^Th*
SweetneB of your Pulvillio fite might mean j but fov
your ^eath t Vkty b^, ha. Your Breach is fach>,
Mao, that nething but Tobacco can ^rfnrac ^ and
your Complexion nothing coa'd mend but the Small
Pox. ■ , ' '■

Z,. Tlauf. Well^ Sir, yon may plea& to be merry y
but, to put yon out mall Doubc^ ^, Hk has r«*
ceiy'dfome Jewels from me, of Value.

Nov, And Prefents from me j be^dc» what I iptt-
fentedt her jantily, 1^ way of Ombre^ of three ov
four hundred Pound value, which I'm fure are tto
earneft Pence for our Love-bargain.

L. 7imf. Nay, then, Sir, with yotr- favour, and
tq make an end of all your hopeij \ottW yoa cImw^
Sir, ftfrhas wrk-to me- '

[ Deliver tdiaeb etkr thtir Letttfs^

Nov. How! how! '«re\\\ well, an4 fo Ae hai to
me ; lookyou there*'-— —

i. Plauf. What's here ?
' .Nw. HoVs thb ? '

KeaA

;,■ Google

7& Plam-Deaterl 2^

Reads out

My dear Lord, ..

yOm'B txcufe mKj for hreaka^ my Wori -with yom^ JiHce
'twas to oUigif not offend you i for I am oiilj gme
'airoaJ hut to Mfapfoint Norel, md mtetyom in the Draiv-
ing-Room ; where I txftS you^ with at mmcb Imfatience,
gf when I uti to foffer Novel'j Vijitt, the mofi impertinent
Ftff that ever afftSed the Name of a Wit, therefore not
■capaiU, I hofe, to give you yeakufiei for^ far your fake
euinej yeufaw I renouncd an old Lover j and will do all the
World. Bum the Letter^ hat lay uf the Kindntfs of it in
yourffiartf with jour

OLIVIA.

Very, 6nei But pr*y kt's fee miuc.

X. Vlauf. I nnderftaiid it not ; but fare ftie cannot
;Uut)kYo of me.

, Reads the other Letter.

if>yff. XTUwi ; ha ! Meet ■ — : — fir yeur fake- ■■ ■

X X. >'*'*h quitted an eld Lever — —Worl d

Bvm ■inyourHeaK witbytifr 9

OLIVIA-

JuR the fame, the Name» onljr alter'd.

L. Plamf. Surely there muft be fome miftakc j or
fpine body has abusd her, and us.

Nov. Yes, you are abus'd, no donbton't, my Lord;
but I'll to mtte-HaB, and k% •

L. Tlanf And I, where I (lull find you are abm'd.

Nov. Where, if ic be fo, for our comfortj we caa-
not fait of ffleecieg with Fellow-foSerers enough j fcir
as Rreemm laid oi another, Ihe ftands in the Dratr-
ing-room, like the Glafs, ready for all comers, to fee
their Gallamry by her : and like the GUIs too, let's, no
G 3 *■ Maa

^p T-he Plain Dealer.

Mart go from her, unfatisfied with himfelf. [Ex. amhc .
Enter Olivia ^nd Boy.

0/(1/. Both here, and juft gone ? ' "

Boy. Yes, Madam.

0/iT."But are you fure neither faw yoa deliver the
other a Letter ? \

Boy. Yes, yes. Madam, I am very fure.

Ollii. Go then to the Old Excbavgt, to JVeftm'tnfitr^
Halborn, and all the other places I told you of ,• I (hall
jiot need you thefe two Hours : Be gone, and take
the Candle with you, and be fure you leave word
again below, 1 am gone outj to all that ask.

Boy. Yes, Madam. {^Fx'tt.

Oliv. And my new Lover will not ask I'm liir&;
he has his Leffon, and cannot mifs me here, tho' in
the dark : which I have purpofely defign'd, as a rCr
medy againft mv blufliing Gallant's modefty j for
young Lovers, like Game Cocks, are made bolder,
by being kept without light.

Enitr her Hnshand Verniffl as from a Journej.

Ver Where is Ihe ? Darknefs every where I [Sfftij.
" Oliv. What, come before your time ? my Soul !
my Life! your hafle has augmented. your kindnefs;

and let me thank you for it thus, and thus [Ew-

bracing and kijftng him.'] And tho' (my SobI) the littlc

time (ince you left me, has feem'd an Age to my im-
mtience, fure it is yet but feven

Ver. How I who's that you expeded after feven ?

Oliv. Hal my Husband return'd I and have I been
throwing away fo'many kind Kiifeson my Husband^
and wrong'd my Lover already?

Vtri Speak, I fay, who was't you expe&cd after
feven ?

-. 0/;v. What ftialH fay ? oh \_AjUe.

-Why 'tis but feven days, is it^ deareft, fince you went
out of Town ? and f expeded you not fo loon. >
■ Vet. No, fure, Itis but five days fince I left you.

Oliv,

Ti>e Piah-Dealer. 91

' ' Oliv. Pardon my impatience, deareft, I ihotight 'em
feven at leaft.
'<■ Vtr. Nay then-'

Qliv. Butj my Life, you fhall never ftay half fo long
from me again i you (han't indeed, by this Kifs you
ihan't..

Vtr. No, no ; bur why alone in the dark ?

0/if. Blame not my melancholy in your abfence—
But, my Soul, fmce you went, I have ftrange News
to tell you : Mmlj is return'd.

Ver. Manly return'd I Fortune forbid.

Ollv. Met wich the Dutch in the Chanel, fought,
funk his Ship, and all he carried with Mm : he was
here with me yefterday.

Tw. And did yon own our Marriage to him ?

Olli}. I told him I was married, to put an end to
his tove, and my trouble j but to whom, is yet a
fecret kept from him, and all the World : And I
have us'd.him fo fcurvily, his great Spirit will ne'er '
return, to re:^ron it farther with me ; I have fent him
to Sea agaii^ I warrant.

Ver. 'Twas bravely done. And fure he will now
hate the Shore more than ever, after fo great a difap-
pointment. Be you fure only to keep a while our great
lecrec, till he be gone : in the mean time 111 lead
the eafie, honelt Fool by the Nofe, as 1 us'd to do ;
and, whilft he Hays, rail with him at thee ; and when
he's gone, laugh with thee at him. But have you
his Cabinet of Jewels fafe ? Part not with a Seed
Pearl to him, to keep him from flarving.

Ol'w. Nor from hanging.

Vtr. He cannot recover 'em j and, I think, will
fcorn to beg 'em again.

Qlhi. But,my Life,have yon taken the thoufand Gui-
neys he left in my Name, out of the Goldfrnichs hands ?

V<T. Ay, ay, they are remov'd to another Goldfmiths.

Oliv. Ay but, my Soul, you had beft have a care
yon find not where the Money is : for his prefent
wants fas I'm inform'd) ate fach, as will make hun
inqaifitive enough. G 4 P«r.

9x The piaiitDeaUr.

Fer. You fay tiacj and he kno^s ^ Man too ; hut

111 remove it to morrow.

Oliv. To morrow ! O do not ftay till to morrow :
go to night, immediately.

Fer. ISTow I think on't, yoa adrife wellj and I wiQ
go prefently,

Oliv. Prefently ! inftantly : I will not l«t you flay

a jot. *: , . .

Fer. 1 will then, tho' I remm not home till twelve^

oliv. Nay, tho' not till morning, with all my

heart : go, deareft^ I am impatient till yon are

tone \Tbrup him tut,

0, I have at once now brought about thofe twa
grateful Bufineffes, which all prudent Women do to-
gether, feeured Money and Pleafure j and now aXl
Interruptions of the lau are remov'd. Go, Husband,
^dcome up, Friend j juft the Buckets in the Well,
the abfence of one brings the other j but I hope^ lik^
f hem too, they will not meet in the way, jo^e, anq
^alh together.

Emer Fidelia, tni Manly treating fefilj, and
fiaying^ bebiaJ at fomt Jifiamcf,

So are you come ? (but not the Hnsband-Bucket, |
hope, again.) Who's there? my deareft^ > {JSefify.

Fid. My Life-

oliv. Right, right : where are thy Lips } here, takt
the dunib, and beft Welcomes, Kiues and Embraces {
'tis not a time for idle wocd«. In a Dupl of Love, a|
in others, parlying fhews bafely, Come, we are
plone ? and now the Word is only fati^&^ion^ anj
defend not thy felf.

Man. How's this i Why, Ihe makes Love lik« «
Devil in a Play ; and in this darknefs, which conceals
her Angel's Face, if I wer« apt to be aftaidj I fhon'd
$bink her a Devil. Ijtfidf^

OUp. What, yo^ trav^ri^ Ground, young Gentled
fpaa, lFi4t]\a a-mdi^g hm

Tbe PlahhDeakr* pi

ffi. Ijtake Breach only.

AU». 6ood Heav'tis! how wu I deceiv'd ! [ ^fidti.

OUv. Nay, yon are a Coward ; what, are yon
afraid cf the fiercenefsof my Lore?

FiJ. Yes, Madanij left its violence might prefaes
}t» change } and I mnft needs be afraid yon woiTd
1»Te me qaickly^ who cbo'd defen fo bme a Gen*
tleman as Mmljr.

OUv. O \ name not his Name ; for in a rima .of
ftolo joys, as this is, the filthy Name of HQsb«nd were
liot ai more allaying found.

Jd^. There's Tome comfort yec. . L4fi^

Fid. Bat did yon not lore htm }

Oliv. Never. How cou'd you think it ?

Ftd. Becanfe he thonghc it/ who is a Man of
that fenfe, nice difceming, and diffidency, that I
ifhou'd think it hard to deceive him.

OUv. No ; he that diftrufls moil the World, tnifis
moft to himfelfj and is but the more eafily deceiv'd,
becaufe he thinks he can't be deceiv'd : hu cunning
is like the Coward's Sword, by which he is oftnet
worfted; than defended.

■ Fid. Yet, fure, yon us'd no common Art, to de-'
C^ve him.

' 0/iv. I knew he lored his own Angular morofencft
io well, as to dote upon any Copy of it ; wherefore
I feign'd an hatred to the World too, chat he mighc
Jove me in earnefl : but, if it had been hard co de-
ceive hin, I'm fure 'twere much harder to lore him.
A dogged, ill-roanner'd i 'i

Ftd. uyt hear her, Sir, pray hear her. r^<f»ManIy.'

Oliv. Mrly, untra&aUe, fnarling Brute I he ! a
Mafty-doR were as fie a thing to make a Gallant of.
: Aiam^ Ay, a Goat, or Monkey were fitter for
thee. [ ^Jide.

SU. I moft confefs, for my part, (tho* my Rival)
i cuDot but fay he has a manly handfomncfi in's focc
and nqen. .

QUv. So bu a Saracen in the S^

fid.

54 The VUm-VeaUr\

Fid. Is proper and well made. • '-

. Otiv. As a Dray-man,
■ RJ: Has Wm.

OUv. He rails at all Mankincl.
; ^d. And undoubted Courage.

Oliv. Like the Hangman's, can murder a Man when
his hands are ty'd. He has Cruelty indeed ; which
is no more Courage, than his Railing is Wir.

Atan. Thus Women, and Men lik* Women, are
too bard for us, when they think we do not hear 'em,*
and Reputation, like other Miftrefles, is never true-
t6'a Manin his ablence. {^J^Je.

Fil He is ■

Oliv. Pr'ythfee no more of him j 1 thought I had
latiih^d you enoDgh before , that' he could never
be a Riyal for you to apprehend ; and you need not
be more alTur'd of my averfion to him, but by the laft
leftimony of my love to you ; which I am ready to
.giveyoQ. Come, my Soul, this-way [P«//i Fidelia.

fW. But, Madam, what cou'd make you dilTemble
love to him, when 'twas fo hard a thing for you, and
flatter Hs love to yon ?

Oiif. Ihat which makes alt the World flatter and
diflemble, 'twas his Money : I had a re^t pafOon for
that. Yet I lov'd not that fo well, as for ic to take
him: forasfoqn as I had hisMoney, I haflned his de-
parture like a Wife, who, when flie has made the moft
of a dying Husbands breath, pulls away the Pillow.

M-tn. Damn'd Money .' it's Mailers potent Rival
ftili ; and, like a faucy Pimp, cormpts it felf the
Miftrefs it procures for trs.

Oliv. fiui 1 did not think with you, my Life, to
pafs my time in talking. Come hither, come ,■ yet
ilay, till I have lock'd a door in the other Room,
that may chance to let us in fome interruption j which
reciting Poets, or lofmgGamefiers fear not more than
I at this time do. {Exit Olivia.

Ftd Well, I hope, you are now fatisri'dj Sir, and
will be gone, to chink of your Revenge i
.. _' Matt.

The Vkin-Veaier. py

Alan. No, I aih'not famfi'dj and maft flay to l^e

reveng'd. , ■' '■ * ■

Ftd. How, Sir i Youll ufe no violence to her, I

hopCj and forfeit your own Ufe to take away hct's ?

That were no Revenge.

Man. No, no, you need not fear: my revenge'
iball only be upon her Honour, not her Life.

Vfd. How, Sir ? her Honour ? O Heavens ! Confi- -
der. Sir, flie has no Honour. D'ye call that Re-
venge? Can you think of fuchathing? ButrefleiA^
&ir, how the hacesand loachsyou.

Man. Yes, fo much Oie hates me, that it wou'd be
a revenge fufficient to make her accefiary to my Plea-
fure, and then lee her know it.

Ftd. No, Sir, no, to be Reveng'd on her now,
were to difappoint her. Pray, Sir, let us be gone.

[ Vullt Manly.'
Man. Hold off. What, you are my Rival then j
and therefore you Oiall Aay, and keep the Ooor for
me, whilft 1 go in for you : but, when I'm gone, if
you dare to ftir off from this very Board, or breath
the leaft murmuring Accent, I tl cut her Throat firft ; ^
end if you love her, you wilt not venture her Life;
nay, then I'll cut your Throat too j and 1 know you
love your own Life at lealt.
Fid. But, Sir, good Sir.

Men. Not a word more, left I begin my Revengei
on her by Killing yon.

Bd. But are you fure 'tis Revenge, that makes you
do this i how can ic be ?
Man. Whift.

Fid. 'Tis a ftrange Revenge, indeed.
Man. If you make me ftay, 1 ihall keep my word,
aod'begin with you. No more.

[E«« Manly, at the fame Door OWi'i^ went.

Mamt Fidelia.

Fid. O Heavens \ is there not puniflimenc enough
in loving well, if you will have': a Crime ;

, ., Bat

^S The Ptain-DeaUi.

But you flmft a^ fieft Tonnents daily to't^
And punifh us like peevilh JEllvaU ftill,
Becaufe we iian wou'd find a Heaven here ?
But did there never any tore like me,
Tliac untry'd Tortures you mufl find me out i
Others, at worft, you force to itill themfelves ;
Bat I mufi be Self-mard'refs of my love.
Yet will not grant me pow'r to end my Life^
My cruel Lik j for when a Lover's hopes
Aiedead, and gone, Life Unnfipercifiil.

£Sfrf dmvn^ and weefg}

Eater Manly m btr.

Mm. I have thought better on't ; I muft not dtf-
cover my felf now, I am mthout Vitnefles : for if I
barely fbou'd publifli it, fhe won'd deny it with as
much impndence, as ftie woa'd a& it again with this
young Fellow here. Where are you ?

Fid. Here .. — oh— -—now I nippofe we may b9
gone.

Man. I will, but not yon } yon muft flay, and
zA the fecond part of a Lover ; that is, talk kindnel»
CO her.

FU Not I, Sir.

Man. No difputing, Sir, you mn(t : 'tis necefiary
to my defign, of coming again to morrow night.^

Ft J. What, can you come again then hither?

Man. Yes, and you muft make the Appointment,
and an Apology for your leaving her fo loon ; for I
have faid not a word to her, but have kept your
couofel, as I expcA you thon'd do mine : do this
faithfully, and Ipromifeyou here ypuAiallrun ray
Fortune ftiU, and we will never part as long 29 wq
live i blit, if you do not do it, exped not to live.

Bd.'Tis hard, Sir ^ but fuch a confideration will
make it eafier : you won't forget your Promife, Sir ?

Mm, Ho, by Heavens. But I hear Her coming.

lExit.
Bnttr

'Jte Tlain-Dealefl 9^

OUv. Where u my life i nm from me alrea^ 3
yon do not love me, deareft; nay, yoaareangcy
widi me ; for yoa won'd not lb much at fpeak a luod
word to me wuhin : What was the reafbn ?

fU. I was craiifported too much.

O/w. That's kind ; but come, ray Soul, what mate
yon here i let ns go in agun ; we may be furpii^d
in this Room, 'tis fo near the Stain.

FU. No, we fliaU hear the better here, if aay Body
ftoo'd come up.

O/rc. Nay, I aflbre you, we AaH be fecore enongli
within J Come, come

F$d. I am fick, and tronUed with a fudden dizzi-'
uJs; cannot itir yet.

etiv Come, I hare Spirits within.

fi4. Oh I— —don't yon hear a Noife, Madam ?

OUv. No, no, there i& none : Come, come. {PuSi heri

Fid. indeed there is j and I lorv yon fo ranch, i
muft have a care of your Honour, ifyou won't, ud
go ,* but to come to yon to morrow night, if yea
pleafe.

Oliv. With all ipy Soul j but you miift not go yet:
Come, prithee.

PiJ.- Oh ! -I'm now ficker, and am ifrtdd of

one of my Fits.

Oliv. What Fits ?

FW. Of the Falling Sickne^i and I lie generally an
Hour in a Trance; therefore pray oonfider your Hc^
nour, for the fake of my toTe,3ndlet mego,thatInvf
rctBrn to you often.

OHv. But will yon befnte then to come tomorzow
flight ?

Fid. Ties.

Oliv. Swear.

Fid. By our paft kindnefs.

Oliv. Wellj go your ways theoy If you will, yoa
ttaoghty Creatore you. E^fit Fidetiab

Thsft

5(S TMPlain-Dealsf:^

Thefe young Lovers,, with thejr fears and modefly,
make thetnfetv^ as bad as old ones ro ns j and I appte-
bedd th'cir baflifulnen, mbvi than their tatling.

1 Fidelia ntums.

Tsd. O. Madam, we're nndone !. there was a Qen-
ddmanupon the Stairs, coming up with a Ca;idle ;
whicb made me retire. Look you, here he comei.

Eff«- Vetniih and hit Man with a Vgbt.

; OUv. How ! My Husband ! Oh," undone indeed !
This way. ..' : [Ew**

- ftr. Ha! ' Yod. Ihall not efcape me fo^ Sir.

. {_Sioft Fideliait

fid. O Heavens ! more Fear, Plagues, and Torments
yetlnStorel - , [_jiifiJe,

.- Vtr. Come, Sir, I guefs what yoqrbufmefswas: here j'
lilt this mu(t be your buflnefs now. Draw. iDrgivi,

. Ftd. Sir , , . ■ ,

• iV.NoExpofluhitions: I fball not care to heaff
oft. Draw.
: Bd. Good Sir.

Per. How, you Rafcal ! not Courage to draw,.y«
cEucft do me the greateft injury in the World ? Thy
Cowardice fiiall not favc thy Life.

\OftTs to run <r Fidelia.
[ Bd. O hold^ Sir, and (end but your Servant down,
«nd I'll faris&e you. Sir, I cou'd not injure yon as yoft

To-. Leave the Light, and be gone. f £*. Strtf.

tiira% quickly, Sir^ what have you to fay, or— -—

Fid. lam a Woman, Sir, a very unfortunate Woman.

K*r. How I a very handfome Woman I'm fure then :

here are WitneHes oft too, I confefs [Pulh off her

Peruke, tmdfeeii ber Breafis.
.Well, Fm.glad to find the Tables turn'd, my Wifoia
more danger of Cuckolding, than! was^ \_Afidei.

Fii. Now, Sir, I hope you are fo much a Man of
Honour, as to let me. go, now I have fatisfied you, Sir.

Vir. When you have fatisfied me. Madam, 1 will.

Fid. I hope. Sir, you are , too miich z Gentleman,
to uiJgc thofe feordts from a Woman, which concern'
her Honour : You may guefs my. Misfortane "to be^
Lore, by myDifgmlc; but a pair of Breeches cou'd
not wrong you, Sir,

Ver. I. may believe l»ove has Chang'd your ontfide,'
which cou'd not wrong me ; but why did my Wife,
run away }

Ftd. I know not; Sir, perhaps becanfe fbe woy'd-
not be forc'd to ditcover me to you, or to guide me .
from your fufpicions, that you might not difcover me
yovrfelf; which ungencleman like Curiofity I hope
you will ceafe to have, and let me go. !

' Vtr^: Well, Madam, if I mull not know who.yoa
are, 'twill fuffice for me only, to know certaintyj
what you are : which you muft not deny me. 0>me,
there is a Bed within, the proper Rack for Lovers ;
and if you Sre a Woman, there you can keep no
fecrets, you'll tell me there all ucaskU Come. •.

Jid. Oh.! what,d"yeniean?H?lp, oh. — r-','. .■.■r\

Ver. I'll fliow you'; but 'tis in Vain to cry out^■Jio;
one dares help you, for I am Lord here.

Fid. Tyrantihere ; biit if yb'u-..art,Mafler.of this
Houfe, whKiH I -hase. taken, foe Ht ^anAuary;. do no«
violate it your felf.

.-yer^Ufi, I'll preferveyou here, and nothing fhall
hurt you, and will be as true to you as your Dilguife j
but you muft tmft'me; then..'- CoBKi come.

Fid. Oh ! oh: rather than you fliou'd drag me to
a Death fo horrid and fo fliameful, I'll die here a
thoufand Deaths, but you do not look like a Ra-
vtfher. Sir.

Fer. Nor you like one wou'd put me to't, but if

ym w^l-7

■ mdi OK-! oh ! help, help

Eattr

D3I.Z.:;,. Google

io5 The PiaithDtaier; .... •/)

Enttr Servant,

Ver. Yon faDCT Rafcal, bow darft yoa iame In^
^en you heard a Woman fijneak jf diac mou'd have
been yonrCuetofiim the Door. ,, .

Sin;. 1 comcj Sir, to lee yoa kttow, the Aldenmn
coming home immediately after you were at hit
Hbufe, has feat his Cafiieer with dxs Money, according
fo yonrMote.

' Ver. Damn his Money : Money never came to iiaf_
fbqj. onfeaTonably titt 'now. did him flay.

Am. He fays, be cannot a Moment.

Ver. B.ecei7e it yoa then.

Satv. He fv^s, be maft have yoar Receipt ^rki
he is in hafie, for I hear him cotning up. Sir.
■ Vtr. Damn him. Help me in here then with this'
^flicmoarer of my Family.
. RkOhl ohi
: Sarv. Yon f^ Ibe is a Woman, Sir.-

Ver. No mattesi Sir : muft yoa prate ?

Fii. CMi Hcamia I is there- — '

[TSn tbrufi btr in, and leek the Door',

Vir. Stay riiere, my PrifoHnr, yourhdve a ftoriS Re^
pricve^

TUfiteh ^t-Geldy and fiat fie am*t re^,
i JP/TTsiria^fiiS hmd'tis.wt-iiaioifiiiif, '

;, Google

Ife Plaa-Dtalir, to*

ACT V. SCENE L

Ent& Olivia and £liz3.

Oliv. A ^) Confin, nothing troubles nte, hoi thii
XX, I have given the malicioa^ World its Re-
venge, and Reafon now to talk as freely of nief as I
bs'd CO do of it.

£/*«. Faith, then let not diat tronbte you j for to
be plain, Courin, the World cannot talk worfe of yon,
than it did before.

Oliv. How, Coulm ? I'd hare you to know, before
this foMx fafh t^is ^^P o^ mine, |he World cou'd not
talk of me.

EUx^ Only that yon mind other Peoples A^ns fb
much, that you take no care of your own, but t6
hide 'om j that, like a Thief, becaufe yon know your
felf moft guilty, you impeach your Fellow-Grinunab
firft, to clear your felf.

Oliv. O wicked World !

Blix,. That you pretend an av edion to all Mankind
in pnblick, only ttuc their Wives and Mifbreffefs may
not be jealous, and hinder you of their Converfiitit^
in private.

Oliv. Bafe World !

Eliz. That abroad, yon fatten quarrels upon in-
nocent Men, for talking of you, only to bnng 'etii
to ask your pardon at home, and to become dear
Friends with them, who were hardly yovr Acqoaia*
tance before.

Oliv. Abominable World !

£&c. That you condemn the obfcenfty of moderM
Plays, only that you may not be cenfur'd for neve^
uiffiDg the moft obfcene of the old (net.

O/ivj Damn'd World !

H mu..

.^g-aiz,;;,G00Jjlc

loa The Fla'tn-DeAler.

Eliz. That you deface the nodfties of Fibres, and
little Statn6s, only becaofe they are not real.

Oliv. O, Acj fie^ tie; hideods, hideous, Confia !
the obfcenity of their Cenfures makes me blnfli.

Eliz. The truth of 'em, the naughty. World woa'd
lay now.

Enter Letticc hafiify.

X^. Ot Madam ! here is that Gentleman coming
op, who now yon fay is my MaAer.

Oliv. O, Cotifin ! whither Iball I mn ? proted me,
b r -- [Olivia rmu Away^ mnifianis at a dlfiancf.

Eater Verniib.

Ver. Nay, nay, com e

O^; O, Sir, forgire me.

Vn'. Yes, yes, I can forgive you being alone in
the dark with a Woman in Mans Cioaths j but hare
a care of a Man in Women's Cioaths.

Oliv. What does he mean ? he difiembles, only to
get me into his power : Or has my dear Friend made
him believe he was a Woman ? my Husband may be
deceiv'd by him, but I'm fure I was not. [Jfide.

Vtr. Come, come, yon need not hare lain one of
your Houle for this ,• but perhaps yon were afraid^
when I was warm with fufpicions, you maft hare
difcover'd who Hie was : And, prithee, may I not
know it i

Oliv. She was — (I hope he has been deceir'd :
and, fincc my Lover has plaid the Card, I mnft not
leoonnce) iJfiJe.

Ver. Come, what's the matter with riiee ? If I muft
not know who flie is, I'm fatislied witbonc Ccnne
hither.

. OUv. Sure you do know her j fiie has told yoa her
(elfi I fuppofe.

Vir. No, I might hare known her better, but that
I was interrupted by the Goldfmith you know, and

was

7%ff Plaitt-Deaiir. i o j

>Bm IbrcM if6 lock he^ into yout Chamber, to keep
lice from his fight ; biit, when I recurn'd, I foond
Ihe wa« got away, by tying th^ WIndow-Cunains to
tlie fialco^, by which flie Hid downintb the ^reet :
for, yon muft know, I jetted with her, and made her
beliere Td ravifli herj which flie apprehended, ic
^ems, in catDeft.

O/iv. Then fhe got from you \

r*. Yei, - .

Oliv. And is quite gone i

Ver. Yes.

Olw. I'n) glad on't——- otherwlfe you had fariifa'd
tier. Sir ? but how dar*!! yon go fo far, as to make
her believe you won'd ravilh her ? let me underftand
that. Sir. What, there's gnilt in your face, you
Moth too : nay, then yon did raviOi her, you did, you
bafe Fellow. What, ravilh a Woman in the 6sft
Month of our Marriage ! 'Xis a double injury to me>
diou bafe, ungrateful Man ; wrong my Bed already^
Villain ! 1 cou d tear out thofe falfe Eyes, barbarou$>
imwonhy Wret-ch.

^lix,. So, fo 1— —

I'm Prithee hear, my Dear.

O/w. I will nerer hear you, my plague, liiy tormenK

Yer. I fwear-^— prithee hear me.

Oliv. I have heard already too many of ybnr ^fe
Oaths and Vowi, efpecialty your lall in the Church.

wicked Man I and wretched Woman that I was I

1 wiffa I had then fnnk down Into a Grave, rather
than CO have given you my Hand, to be led to you^
loachfome Bed. Oh — t-oh— — [^S«imstowtep. ,

Ver. So, very hne ! juft a Marriage Quarrel ! whidf
Ao* it generally tegios by the Wife's fault, yet, in
the concluflon, it becomes the Husband's ,- and who-
foever offends at firfl^ he only is iiire to ask pardott
at laft. My Dear — -■>■

O/w. My Devil •

fV. Come, prithee be appeas'd, and go Home j I

have befpokeia our Supper betimes: fori con'd Hoi

H 2 W,

104 ^** tlaiii-Deaiefi

eat} till I fonfid yoa. Go, I'll eive yod aft kind o^
jacis&dions; andonei which ules to be a rcco&ciUDg
one, two hundred of thofe Guineys I receir'd latt
Night, to do what you will with.

0/kf. What, woad you pay me foe beiog yotUi
Bawd ?

Vtr. Kay, prithee no more ; goy aod FU throaghly
fatisBe you when I come home ; and then, tdo, we
will hare a fit of laughter at Manht whom I am go-
ing to find at the Cock in Bowfireet^ Where I heat
he din'd. Go, deareft, go homer

EUz. A very pretty turn, indeed, this t Infidel
. Vtr, Now, Goufu), fince by my Wife I have that!
honour and privilege of calling you fo, I hare foms-
Thing to beg of you too j which isj not to take no-
tice of our Marriage to any whatever, yet a while^
for fome reafons very important to me : and next,
that you will do my Wife the honour, to go home
with her, and me the favour, to nfe that [>ew«r yos
hare with her, in our recondlement.

EUz„ That I dace promife. Sir, • will be no haxdt
matter.

Your Servant. [Et^ Vemiib.

Veil, Coviin, this I coofefs was ftafimabte bypnn
crifie } you were the better fort.

Oliv. What hypoerifie f
. Mx.. Why, this laft decnt of your Hilsband war
lawful, fince in your own defence.

Oliv. What deceit ? I'd have yoa to know, I ^icTef
deceiv'd my Husband.

Elix^ Yon do not underfiand me, fure i I (ay, this
was an honeft come-oiF, and a good one : but 'twas
a fign your Gallant had had enough of your Coover-
fation. Once he cou'd fo dextroufly cheat yoar Hufr-
band in paiSng for a Woman i

Oliv. What d'ye mean, once n)ere> wich siy Gal-
lant, and pafling for a Woman i

EUz. What do you mean ^yon fee your Husband
took himfora Woman ?

Tie Plain'tenltr. loy

Miv. irhom?

£/i£. Hey-day ! why, the Man he found you with,
for whom laft Night you wer? fo iQuch afraid ^ and
who you told mC'

Oliv. Lord, yon ravefute!

Eliz,. Why, did not you tell me laft Night — ^

Olya. 1 know not what I might tell you laft Night,
in a fright.

Eiix,, Ay, what was riiat fright for ? for a Woman ?
fae/ides, were you not afraid to fee your Husljand juft
now ? Z warrant, only for having been found with a
Woman! nay, did you not juft now too own your
falfe ftep, or trip, as you call'd it } which was with
a Woman too ! Fie, this fooling is fo inripi<], 'tiy
c^nfnrc.

OUv. And fooling with my Hcmoar will be more
offenfive. Did you not hear my Hu^atid fay, he
foand me with a Woman in Mans Cloachs } and d'ye
think he does not know a Man from a Woman i '

£ji:&. Not fo well, I^m fnre, as yoa do j th^efore
I'd rather take your .word.

O/iV. What, you grow fcarrillons, and are 1 find
more cenforions than the World ! I muft hare a care
you, I fee.

Eiix^ No, yoo need not fear yecj 111 keep your
fecretl

Oliv. My fectet ! YA hare you to know, I have no
need of Confidents, tho* you ralue your felf upon
being a e;ood one.

Eiix^ Q admirable confidence I yoa fiiow more in
(lenying your wic|i«dne(E, than other people ia
glorying m't.

Oliv. Congdenoe, (o me ! to nie fuch hngaage !
nay'j'cheti'Fn never fee yonr&ce again. Ill quarrel
with her, that people may never beHeve I was in
her power ; bRt take for malice all tl^e tmdi fhe may
fpeak againft me. {Mde. 1 Uttice, where are you ?
let OS b6 gone from^this cembrious Ul Woman.

D ,_,, :. Cookie

lotf the TUiuVMkt.

Elix,. Nay, thoufhalt flay a tittle^ to janji ^7
felf quite . iJfiJe^

One word firft, pray Madam ; can you fwear that
whom'your Husband found you with- -

Oliv. Swear ! ay, that whofoever 'twas that ftole
up, unknown, into my Room, when 'twas dark, I
know not whether Man or Woman, by Heav'ns,^ by
!all that's good ; or, may I never more have joys here^
or in the other World : nay, may I eternally——^

Eliz,. Be damn'd. So, fo, you are damn d enough
already by your Oaths ; and I enough confirm'd, and
how you may pleafe to be gone. Yet take this
advice with yon, in this Plain-dealing Age, to leave
off forfwearing your felf ; for when people hardly
think the better of a Woman for her real modefly,
why Ihoa'd yon put that great cooftraint upon your
felf to feign. it?

' Oliv. Q hideous! hideous advice! Let us go OQt
« of tlie bearing of it. She will fpoil us, Lettiet.

C Ex. Oliv, and Let. at oat dm, Etiz. tit t'otbtr*

Tie Scene cbat^s to the Cock in Bow-fUecc
■ 4 Table and BottUf.

Manly and Fidelia.

Man. How ! fav'd her Honour, by making her hv»^
band believe you were a Woc^an ! 'twas well, bnc
hard enough to' do, fure. •

. Ftd. We were interrupted before he cou'd contra^
dift mc.

Man. But can't you tell me, d'ye fay, what kia^
of Man he was ? i

Ffd. I was fo frightne^f I confe£, I Qan give nq
other acconnc of him, but that he was pretty tall*
round fac'd* and one, I'm fure, I no'er htd Uea
before, ,

' Man. But fkSf ypufay;, made you fwear to ncom
to Might"? ■' ■■,..,.■

.. BJk.

D,l,z.:;,C.OOg|i:

TIfe TlaiH-Veakr. 107

BJ. Bat I bave fince fworn, never to go near her
agun ; for the Husband wou'd murder me, or worfe,
a he caoghc nje again.

Man, No, I will go with yoiij and defend you to
Night, and then I'U fwear too,' never to go near hec
again.

Fid. Nay, indeed, Sir, I will not go, to be accef^
fary to your Death too ; BeHdes, whsu fhou'd you go
again. Sir, for ?

Man. No difputing, or advice. Sir, you have res^
fon to know I am unalterable. Go, therefore pre^ ■
fently, and write her a Note, to enquire if her M'
iignatlon with you holds j jand if not to be at hec
own Houfe, where elfe ? and be importunate to gain
admittance to her to Night : Let your Meffengen
e're he deUver your Letter, enquire hrfl, if her Hd&
band be gone out. Go, 'tis now almoft fix of the
Clock; lexpei^ you back here before ieren, with
leave to fee her then. Go, do this dextrouQy, and
cvptGt the Performance of my laft Night's Promife^
never to part with yon.

Bd. Ay, Sir; but will you be iiire to remember
that ?

Man. Did I ever break my Word i Go, no more
Replies, or Doubts. [£»« Fidelia.

Knttr Freeman to Manly.

Where haft thou been ?

Frtt. In the next Room, with my Lord PUmfibU and
Novtl.

Man. Ay, we came hither, becaufe 'twas a private
Houft; tmt with thee indeed no Houfe can be pri-
vate,- for thou haft that pretty Quality of the &im-
Uar Fo[» of the ToWn, who, in an £acing-houfe,
always keep Company with all People in'c, but thofe)
they came with. ,

Frtt. I went into their Room, but to keep diem

and my own Fool the 'Squire, ont of your Room j

H4 but

io8 Tht fUin-Vealer.

hat yon finU be peevifb now, becanfe' yon have no

Money ; But i^hy the Devil won't you write to thofe

we werefpeaking of? fince your Mo^ftVi or your

^iric, will not Tuffer you to fpeak to 'em, to lend

you Money, why won't you' try 'cm at laft, that

way?

Mm. Becaufe I know 'em already, and can bear
Want better than Denials, nay, than Oblieadons.

Free. Deny you ! they cannot : All of 'em havQ
been your intimate Friends.

Man. No, they have been Peo[de only I have o-
bligNi particularly.

Fne. Very w^ftj therefore you opght to go to 'enj
(he rather, fare.

Mm. No, no : Thofe yon have oblig'd moft, moft
cenainly avoid you, when you can oblige 'em no
longer j and they take your Viflts like fo many Duni :
Fri^s, like Miftrefles, are avoided for Obligations
paft.

Free. Pfliaw ! But moft of 'em are your Relations j
Men of great Fortune and Honour.

Mm. Yesj buc Relations have fo much Honoitr,
^to think Poverty taints the Blood; and difown
their wanting Kindred : Believing, I fuppole, that,
9StBicbes at firft makes a Gentleman, the want of 'em
degrades him. But damn 'em, now I am poor, I'll
anticipate thur Contempt, and di£bwn them.

Fru. But you have many a Female Acquaintance,
>iirhom you have been liberd to, who n^ay have a
Heart to cefund.to you a linte, if you wou'd ask it ;
,They are not all Olivia's,

. Mm. Damn thee 1 How coa'dR thou think of fuch
a thing ? I wou'd as foon rob my Footman of hU
Wages : Befides, 'twere in vain too : For a Wench is
^ke a Bode in an Ordinary, receives all Peoples Money
ca&lyj but there's no getting, qsy, Qaiang any oat
apm ^ an^ he tii^ 6U5 it^is Aire oev^ (o Irecp th«

Jbe Tla'tH-Deahr, 109

Aw. Veil, bat noble Captain, won'd you make me
betiere that yon, wbo know half the Town, have fo
many Friends, and have oblig'd fo many, can't bor-
row fifty or an hundred Pound.

M^. Why, noble LicDtenant, yon who know all
the Town, and call all you know. Friends, methinks
fhon'd not wonder at it j ^nce yon find Ingratitude
too i for how many Lords Families ( tho' defcended
£n»a Blackfmiths, or Tinkers ) haft thou call'd Great
and niufirioDs i How many ill Tables call good Eat*
ing ? How many noifie Coxcombi, "ViK ? How ma«
ny pert coaching Cowards, Stout ? How many tandiy
ane^ed Rogoes, well dreft ? How many Perukes ad-
mir'd ? And how many ill Verfes applauded i And
yet canft not borrow a Sbilling ; doft thon expeft I^
who always fpoke truth, ihon'd^

Av«; Nay, now yoti think you have paid me|
bot hark yon, Ca^ain, I have heard of a thin|;
call'd grinning Honour, bnt never of ftarring Ho-
IKmr

Mm. Well, but it has been the Fate of fome brave
Men : And if they won't give me a Ship dgans, I
can go flarve any where with a Masket on my Shoul*
der.

Ave. Give yon a Ship .' why, yon will not foUdte
it?

Mm. If I have not foUctted it by my Services, I
kno4r no other way.

Frti. Yonr Servant, Sir ,- nay, then I'm fatisfied,
I mnft folidte my Widow the clofer, and mn the de*
fperate Fortune of Matrimony on Shore. Ea^.

Eattr t9 Manly, Verntfii.

Mm. How! Nay, here is a Friend indeed j

judhettuc hsf him in his Arms, can know no wants.

[ Emhrtees Vermlh;

Vtr. Dear Sit-! and he that is in your Arms, is fe-

C)ir$ {rom all fears i^hatevpr j my, onr Nation b fe-

•• euro

no The Plaiu-Vealer.

cure by yotir Defeat at Sea, and the Dateb that fought
againft ^ou^ have prov'd Enemies to thetnfelres only,
in brining you back to as.

Man. Fie, Be ; this from a Friend } and yet &om
iny other 'cwere unfnfierable : I thought X fhoii'd ne-
ver have taken any thing ill from you.

Ver. A Friend s Privilege is to fpeak his Mind, tho*
k be taken ill.

Man, But your Tongue need not tell me you thinfc
too well of me ; I have found it from your Heart,
which fpoke in A<^ons, your unalterable Hearc:Buty
O'.lvla is falfe, my Friend, which I fuppofe is no
JiJewE to you.

VtT. He's in the right on't. {.AfiJe.

Man. But coud'ft ihou not keep her true to me ?

Ver. Not for my Heart, Sir.

Men. But cou'd you not perceive it at all before I
went ? Cou'd ftie fo deceive us both.

Vvr. I muft confefs, the firll time I knew it, was
three Days after your Departure, when Ihe receiv'd
the Money you had left m Lombard- firett, in her
I^ame j and her Tears did not hinder her it Teems
from counting that. You wou'd truft her with all,
like a true generous Lover.

Mim. And (he like a mean Jilting »

Vtr. Trajterous— — —

Man. Bafe ■ ■ ' ■

Ver. Damn'd

Man. Covetous——

Vtr. Mercenary Whore

( I can hardly hold from lauglung,) \_Afiie.

Man. Ay, a Mercenary Whore indeed, for fiic
made me pay her bt:fore I lay with her.

Ver. Howl Why, have you lain with her?

Man. Ay, ay.
. Ver. Nay, Ihe deferves you flioa'd report it ac leaftj
tho' you. have not.

Mam Report it! by Hf av'n, '^istrue.

Vtr. Howl fiwcnot.

Jto.I

D,I,Z.:;,C.00<^[C

The Plain-Deaien. \\i

2tian. I do not ofe to lie, nor you to doubt me.
yer. When?

Mmm. Laft Nighr, about feren or eigjht of tho-
Ciocfc.

Ver. Ha.'— —Now I remember, I thought fte

fpake as if (he expeded fome other, rather than me :

A confounded Whoie irfdeed ! - . [ jIfiU.

Man. But what, thou wonder'ft at it! Nay, yo4

ieem to be angry too.

f^tr. I cannot but be enrag'd againfi her, for her
n&ge of you: damn'd, infamous, common Jade.

AIm. Nay, her Cuckold, who firfi Cuckolded me
in my Money, ihall not laugh all himfelf ; we will do
him reafbn, flian't we i
Ver. Ay, ay.

AtAn. But thou dofl not, for fo great a Friend,'
take pleafure enough in your Friends Revenge, me-
thinks.

Ver. Yes, yes ; Vm glad to know it, fince you bars
lain .with her.

Man. Thou canft not tell me who that Rafcal, her
Cuckold is ?
Vtr. No.
AioB. She wou'd keep it from yon, I fuppofe.

Vtr. Yes, yes. .

Man. Thou wou'dft laugh, if thou kneweft bat all
the Circumflances of my having her. Come, I'll teU
thee.

Vtr. Damn hei i I care not to hear any more of
ber.
i4M. Faith thou IhalL Yon muft know— ^

;, Google

Tie flam-Dtalet:

pMir Freeman Imekwsrdi, atdttvoitrmt ta keip out No^
vttl, XoriPUunbtej Jerry and OataXt n/ba all frefs
mfm him.

_ Rit. I tell yoQf he hu a'VeachwIthhimj and
.woa'd be private.

Man- Damn 'em! 9- Man can'c open a Bontein
diefe Eatin|(-hdufe$^ but pcefiently yon hare thcfe
loipndeatr iotniding, \sia.tin% Ffies and Infeds in

your Glafs ^Well, )'tl cell thee all anon. In

tt» mean, time, piithee go to her, but not from
, me, and try if you can get her to lend me but an
faundred Ponnd of niy Money, to fiipply my prcfent
Va«9 ; for I fuppofe there is np Recovering any oi
k by litw.

Ver. Not any ; think not pf it : nor by this way

Man. Go try, atleaS.

Ver. I'll go; but I can fadsfie you befbfo-hand, it
will be to np parpofe : You'll no more find a refnnd-
ingWencti-^

Mm^ Than A lefbnding Lawyer j indeed their Feef
alike fcarce erer return : However, , cry hici, pue ie
to her. - ,;■.■■-■

Vtt. Ay, ay, 1*11 try her, put it to ha homsj with
a Vengeance. [ Exit Verdifli*

Manet eateri.

Nov. Nay, yon fhall be our Judge, Manly. Cofne^
Major, I'll fpeak it to your Teeth : If People pro-'
voke me to fay bitter things, to their Faces, they
muft'take what follows; tho', like my Lord P/ov/iAif,
I'd rather do't civilly behind their Backs.

Man. Nay, thou art a dangerous Rogue, IVe heard,
behind a Man's Back.

itttf PUmDeaierl t'n"

' X.Pj;«jii^ Yon wrong him fore, noble GsptdOj he
,^oa*d doaMimnoniorehanabehiDd his Back, duq
cohifFaca
, Rit. I am of my Lord's Miod,

Mtm. Yesj a Fool^ like a Coward^ is the men Co be
fear'd behind a Man's Back, more than a witty Man;
For, as a Coward is more bloody than a brare hlan,
a Fool is filore maUcioiu than a Mao of Wit.

Nov, A Fool, Tar a Fool ! Nay, thoa art a

brare Sea-Judge of ^ic I a Fool ! Prithee when did
you ever find me want fiimetbing to (ay, a> yoo do
often?

3/dn. Nay, I confefs, thoa art always talking, roar*
hig, er making a Noife, that 111 fay for thee.

Km/. Well, and is talking a Sign of a Fool ?

Mt». Yes, always talking j efpecially too if it be
load and {a&, is the Sign of a FooL

Nov. Pfliaw ! Talking is like Fendng, the qnicker
the better ; run *em down, run 'em down, no matter
for parriog j pnlh on fiUl, I&, fa, fa : No matter
whether you argue in Form, puUi in Guard, or
no.

Man. Or hit, or no ; I think thou always talk'ft
without thinking, Novil.

Nov. Ay, ay ,- fludy'd Play's the worGi, to follow
the Allegory, as the old Pedant fays.

Old. A young Fop!

Aian. I ever thoLght the Man of moft Wit had
been like him of moft Money, who has no Vanity in
fliewing it every where j whilft the beggarly pulher
of his Fortune, has alt he has about bim lUll, only;
to fliov.

Nov. Well, Sir, and make a very pretty Show in the
World, let me tell you ^ nay, a better than yonr clofe
Hunks : A Pox, give me ready Money in Play i
What care I for a Man's Reputation i What are we
the betwr for yofir fubftantial thrifty Curmudgeon in
Wk, Sir?

OU Thou art a profufe young R.oguc indeed.

Ntvi

X 14 the Plain-Dealer^

Nov. So much for talking; whicfi t ^fiinlc I
hare prov'd- a mark of Wit j and Co it K2MM,
Roaring, and making a Noife : for. Railing {s Saicyr,
yon know ; and Roaring, and making a Koifej
Humour.

Emer to them Fidelid, tahng Manly tJUtf mid
pmiiing-bim a Taftr.

Ftl The Hoar is betwitt feren and eight exaAIyi
'tis now half an Hour after fix.

Man. Well, go then to the Piazza, and wait for me ;
■5 foon as it is quite dark, I'll be with you : I muft
^y here yet a while for my Friend. Bnt is Railing,
Satyr, Nevtl .' [_Exit Fid.

Frtt. And Roaring, and making a Noife, Humour *

Nov. What, won't yon confels there's Humour ia
Roaring, and making a Noife.

Fret. No.

Nov. Nor in catting Napkins and Hang^gs i

Mm. No fare.

Nov. Dull Fops !

OU. O Rogue, Rogue, infipid Rogue ! Nay, Gen-^
tiemen, allow him choie things for Wit | for hie
Parts He only that way.

Nov. Peace, old Fool, I wonder not at thee ; but
that young Fellows fhou'd be fo dull, as to (ayj there's
DO Humour in making a Noife, and breaking Win-
dows ! I tell you, there's Wit and Humour too, in
both : And a Wit is as well known by tiis Frolick^
as by his Smile.

Old. Pure Rogue ! there's your modern Wit for
you ! Wit and Humour io breaking of Windovn !
There's Mifchief if you will ; bnt no Wit of Hu-
mour.

Nev. Prithee, prithee peace, old Fool, I tell you^
where there's Mifchief, there's Wit. Don't wceftftem
the Monkey a Wit amongft Bealls, only becaufe he's
mifcbievous ? And let me tell you, at good Natnre

■ if

The PUtH-umer. tij

is a iflgn of a Fool, being mifchievous, is a iign
of a Wit. I

Old, O Rogue, Rogne ! pretend to be a Wic,
by ' doing Mifchief and Railing.

ihv. Why, thou old Fool, haft no ether pretence
to the Name of a Wit, but by railing at new PUys.

Old. Thou, by Railing at that facetioas, noble way
of Wit, qaibling.

Uov. Thou call'ft thy duUnefs, gravity ; and thy
dozing, thinking.

Old. You, Sir, your dulneG, fpleen: and you talk
much and fay nothing.

Nov. Thou read'ft much, and nnderftand'ft no- ,
thing. Sir.

OU. You laugh loud, and break no Jeft.

Nov. You rail, and no body hangs himfelf : And
diou haft nothing of the Satyr, but in thy Face.

Old. And you h^jre no Jeft, but your Face, Sir,

Nov. Thou ait an illiterate Pedant.

Old, Thou art a Fool, with a bad Memory.

Man. Come, a Pox on you both, you have done
Uke Wits now ; for you Wits, when yon quarrel,
never give over till ye prove one another Fools.

Nw. And you Fools have never any occafion of
laughing at us Wits, but when we quarrel : there-
fore let us be Friends, Oldfox.

Man. They are fuch Wits as thou art, who make
the Name of a Wit as fcandalous as that of Bully;
and fignifte a loud-laughing, talking, incorrigible
Coxcomb j as Bally, a roaring, hardned Coward.

Frtt. Ajid wou'd nave his noife and laughter paTs
for Wit ; as t'other his hufiing and bluOiing, for
Courage.

Enttr Vcrnifh.

Mm, Gentlemen^ with yonr leave, here is one I
von'd rpeak with, and I have nothing to fay to you.

[Pail 'tm em tftbi Room.
Manet

Ii6 the PUm-Deaierl ' '■

Manet Manly^ Vernifii.'

Vir* I Cold yon 'twas in vain, to think of gtkin^
^loney oat of her : (he fays, if a ShiUing wou d do't,
fhe wQu'd not fave you frotn ftarving or hanrang^
or what you wou'd think worfe, begg^ or flattering j
and rails fo at yon, one woU'd not think you had
lay'n with lier.

Man. Of Friend, nerer tinft for that matter, a
Womani railing : for Jbe Is no lels a dUTembler ia
her hatred than her love : And as her fondnefs of hetf
Hasbund is a ilgn he's a Cuckold, her railing at ano^
'ther Man is a fign fbe lies with him.

f^er. He's in the right on't : I knOw not what to
trufl to. l4fiU.

Man. But yoa did not take afty notice of it to
her, I hope ? .

Fer. So I- ..--Sare he is afraid Ifiioa'd have dif-
prov'd him , by an enquiry of her : all may be
well yet [_AfiJe.

Man. What haft thou in thy Head, chat makes thee
feem fo unquiet?

Vtr. Only this bafe, impudent Womans falfenefi i
X cannot put her out of my Head. *

Man. O my dear Friend, be not yoa too fenfiUe
of my wrongs, for then I fliall feel 'em too vnth
inore pain, and think 'em unfufierable. Damn her,
her M6ney, and that ill-natur'd Whore too, Fortane
her felf; but if thou wou'dil cafe a little my pivfenc
troable , prithee go borrow me fomewhere cUe
Ibme Money : I can trouble thee.

Vtr. You trouble me indeed, moft fenlibly, whed

J'ou command me any thing I cannot do : I have
ately loft a great deal of Money at Play, more
than I can yet pay ; fo that not only my Money, but
my Credit too is gone, and know not where to bdnow j
but cou'd rob a Church for you. (Yet woa^d rather
cad your Wants^ by catting yoar Xhroac) iJfidt,

The PhiH'Dealer. nj

Man. Nay, then I doubly feel my poverty, Hnce

Fid incapable of fupplying thee. [Embraett VeroiQi.
Vtr. But, methinks, Oie that granted you the lail

EaTOur, ('as they call it) fliou'd not deny you any

thing
Nvo. Hey, Tarpaulin, have yoa done ?

[Novel looks in^ andretirei ugaiii. '

Ver. I underlland ndt that point of itindnefs, I
confefs.

Man. No, thou doft not underftand it, and I have
not time to let you know all now, for ihefe Fools,
you fee, will interrupt us j but anon, at Supper,
we'll iaugh at leifure together, at Olivia's Cuckold;
who took a young Fellow, that goes between his
Wife and me, for a Woman.

r«-. Ha !

Man. Senfelefs, eaTie Rafcal ! *cwas no wonder ihe
cbofe him for a Hosband j but flie thought him,
I thank her, fitter than me, for that blind, bearing
Office. .

f^ir. I cou'd not be deceiv'd in that long Womant
Hair ty'd up behind ; nor thofe infallible proofs,
her poming, fwelting Brealts : 1 have handled too
many fare not to know 'em. [ J^e:

Man. What, you wonder the Fellow coD'd be liich
a blind Coxcomb ?

Ver. Yes, yes—— , [Novel lookt in again, and rttka.

Nov. Nay, prithee come to us, M^nly ; Gad, alt
the fine things one fays in their Company, are loft
without thee.

Afa»...Away, Fop, I'm bufie yet. ,

You fee we cannot talk here at our eafe ; befiJes^'
I muft be* gone immediately, in order to meedngi
with Olivia again to Night.

Fer. To Night ! it cannot be, fure ''—

Matt. I had an appointment juft now from her.]

Vtr. For what time ?

Man. At half an Hoar after feven precifely.'

Ver. Don't yoa apprehend the Husband !

I U,al

m8 The PiaiM' Dealer.

Man. He ! fnivelling Gull ! he a thing to be fear'd I
a Husband ! the tameft of Cceatares !

yer. Very fine ! [y^jf/e.

Man. But, prithee, in the mean time, go try to
get me fome Money. Tho' thou art too modeit to
borrow for thy felf, thou canft do any thing for me,
I know. Go i for I muft be gone to Olivia : go, .
and meet me here anon.— — -/rfeiwdiK, where are
you ? [ Exit Manly.

Mamt Vernini.

f^ef. Ay, nt meet with you, I warrant j bnt it
fliall be at Olivia's. Sure it cannot be ; (be denies it
ib calmly, and with that honeft, modefi afTurancc,

it can*t be true and he does not ufe to lye

but belying a Woman, when file won't be kind, is
the only lye a brare Man will leaft fcniple. But then
the Woman in Mans Cloaths , whom he calls a

Man well, but, by her Breafts, I know her to

be a Woman : But then, again, his appointment

from her, to meet with him to Night ! I am diftraded
more with doubt than jealoufle. Well, I have no
way to difabufe or revenge my felf, but by going
home immediately, putting on a tiding Suit, and pre-
tending to my Wife the fame buHnefs which carry'd
me out of Town laft, requires me a^in to go Pofl to
Oxford to Night ; then, if the appomtment he boafts
of^be true, its fure to hold ; and I fliall hare an oppor-
tunity either of clearing her, or revenging my felf
on both. Perhaps (he is his Wench, of an old date,
and 1 am his Cally, whilft I think him mine ,* and
he has feem'd to make his Wench rich only that I
might take her off his hands : or if be has but lately
lain with her, he mull: needs difcover, by her, my
treachery to him ; which I'm fare he will revenge
wich my Death, and which I muft prevent with his,
if it were only bat for fear of his too jufl Reproaches;
for, 1 muft confels, I never had till now any excufe,

but

Th€ Plain-Dealer. up

but that of Ittt'reff, for doiiig ill to tiim.

[£«* VerniDi.

kfmter Manly sni Freeman.

Man. Come hither^ ortly , I favj be fare yoti
miftake not the time ,• yoa know the Honfe exaAly
tt'hece Olivia lodges ; 'ds jaft hard by.

JPVw. Yes, yes.

Man. Veil then, bring 'em all, I fay, thither, and
all you . know that may be then in the Honfe ; for
the more Wiueflies I have of her infamy, the greatec
will be my rflretige i and befare yon coitiemeighc
up to her Chamber, without inore ado. Here, taSH'i
the Watch, you fee 'tis above a qu^er pail feven ;
be there in half an Hour exadly.

Free. Yon need not doubt my diligence, or dex-
terity ; I am an old Scowrer, and can nanirally beat
Up a Wenches Quarccra that won't be civil. Shan't
we break her Windows too ?

Man. No, 00 j be pondual only. [Eittim amh.

Mntfr Widni' Bl^ckacre, and mo Knights <f tht
Pe/? J « Waiter With Wmt.

Wii. Sweet-heart, afe yob fare the Door wa^
Jhnt clofe, that ndne of thofe Hoyfiers faw us come
in?

W»t. Yes, Miflrefs ,- and yoa fball have a privatec
Rootin above, inilantly. [Ex. Walti

md. Yoli are fafe enongb, Gentlemen, for I have
been private in this Houfe e're now, upon other oc^
cations, when I was Ibmething yotinger. CoiA^,^
Gentlemen, in ftort, I leave my bulinefs to your
care add fidelity ; and fo, here's to yoQ.

X Knight. We were ungrateful Rogues, if we ftoa*d
floe be honeft to you j for we have had a great deal
ef yonr Mofiey.

la fTfJii

D,l...:;, Google

lao The Flam-Dealer,

Wid, And you have done me many a good job for'c S
and fo, here's to yon again.

2 Knight. Why, we have been perjur'd but fix times
for you.

1 Yinigbt. Forg'd but foar Deeds, with your Hus-
bands laft Deed of Gtfc. .

2 Knight. And but three Wills.

I Knight. And counterfeited Hands and Seals to
fome fix Bonds : I think that's all. Brother.

Wid. Ky, that's alljGentlemen ; and fo here's to
you again.

z Knight. Nay, 'twou'd do ones Heart good, to
be fotfworn for yoii,- you have a Confcience in
your ways, and pay us well.

I Knight- You are in the right on't. Brother ; one
woud be damn'd for her, with nil ones Heart.

z Knight. But there are Rogues, who make us for-
fworn for 'em ,• and when we come to be paid, they'll
be forfworn roo^ and not pay us our Wages, which
they promis'd with Oaths fufficienr.

1 Kmght. Ay, a great Lawyer, that fliall be name-
lefs, bllkt me too.

Wid. That was hard, methinks, that a Lawyer
Ihoo'd ufe Gentlemen Witnefles no better.

2 Knight. A Lawyer I d'ye wonder a Xawyer (hon'd
do't ? 1 was bilk'd by a Reverend Divine, that
preaches twice on Sundays, and pniys half an hour
ilill before Dinner.

Ifid. How,? a Confcientious Divine, and not pay
People for damning themfelves! Sure then, for all
bi^ talking, he does not believe Damnation. But
come , to our Bufinefs : pray be fure to imitate
exaiSiy the flouriili at the end of this Name.

[^PuSi out a D- ed or two.

1 Knight. O, he's the befl in England, at untangling
a flounm. Madam.

■ ITtd. Aid lee not the Seal be a ;ot bigger : obferve
well the da{h too, at the end of this Name.

2 Kaigbf. I warrant you. Madam.

md.

The flain'Deahr. lij

TftJ. Well thefe, and many other ffiifts, poor Wi-
dows are put to fometinies ,- for every Body wou'd
be riding a Widow, as they fay, and breaking into
her Jointure ; ihey think marrying a Widow an eafie
bufinefs, like leaping the Hedge, where another has
gone ovci- before j a Widow is a meer Gap, a Gap
with them.

Enter to them Major Oldfox, with two Walters'. ,

\Tbt Knights <f the Vofi hudMe up theWritiags.
What, he here I go then, go, my Hearts, ^ou have
your inftrudions. \_Ex. Knighit of the Tofi.

OU. Come, Madam, to be pl;iin with you, I'll be
fob'd off no longer, 1*11 bind her and gag her, but
flie fliail hear me. [Wyfdfe,

Look you. Friends, there's the Money I promis'd
you ; and now do you what you promis'd me : here
are ray Garters, and here's aXjag ; you fhall be ac-
quainted with my Parts, Lady, you fhall.

IViJ. Acquainted with your Parts I A Rape, a

Rape what, will you ravifh me ? [The Waiters tya

bar to the Chair ^ and Gag her, and Ex.

Old, Yes, Lady, I will ravifti you j but it Ihall be
through the Ear, Lady, the Ear only, with my well
pen'd Acrofticks.

Enter to tbsm Freeman, Jerry Blackacre, three Saj-

M'Sf a Conjiable and hit Alfifi'-ntSi with the two

Knights of the Tofi.

What, fliall I never read my things undifturVd again ?

y.err. O Law I my Mother bound Hand and Foot,
and gaping, as if Ihe rofe before her time to Day.

Free. What means this, Oldfox^ But, 1*11 rcleafc
you from him : you Ihall be no Man's P'rifoner, but
mine. Baylifis, execute your Writ.

[Freeman unties her.

I 5 oii. Nay;

%%% the fUinVeater'.

OU. ^ay^ then HI he gone, for fear of being Bail,
^d paying her Debts without being her Hasbap^.

[E^fir Oldfpx.

I Bay. We ^rreft you in the King's Name, at the

Suit of Mr. Frtemaa, Quardian to Jeremiah Blackscre,
^fgj in an Adion of ten thoufands Pounds.

mJ. Howl how! in a Choak-Bayl Adion ! What,
and the Pen and Ink Gentlemen, taken too ! have
you coiifeft, you Rogues ?

I Knight. We needed noc to confefs ; for the Bay-
lifli dog'd us luther to th^ very Door, and over-
heard all that yon and wc'faid.

ff^d. Undone, undone then ! no Man was ever
l^oo hard for ipe till tiow. Q Jem, Child, wilt thou
vex again the Womb that bore thee ?

Jerr. Ay, for bearing me before Wedlock, as you
lay : But I'll teach you to call a Blackacre a Baftacd,
tho* you wei* neyer fo much my Mother.

Wid. Well, I'm undone; not one trick left? no
Law-Meulli imaginable ? [ ^jp^*:

Cruel, Sir, a word with yop, I pray.

Free. In vain. Madam ; for you have no other way

^o releafe your felf, but by the Bonds of Matrimony.

" ffld. How, Sir, how ! that were but to fuc out

an Hiheis CoTfus, for a rcpioval from one PrtTpn tQ

another. Matrimony .'

Free. Well, BaylifTs, away with her.

^d. O (tay. Sir, can you be fo cruel, as to bring
mc lender Covert-Baton again ? and put it out of
iny power to fue in tpy own }ij[ame. Matrimony
to a Woman is worfe than Excommunication, in
depriving her of the benetic of the l!aw : and I wou'd
rather be depriv'd of Life. But hark you. Sir, I
am contented yon fliou'd hold and enjoy my Perfoq
by Leafe or Patent, but not by the Spiritual Patent,
call'd a Licence ; that is, to have the Privileges of
k Husband, without the Dominion ; that is. Durante
bene pkcito: in consideration of which, t will out of
&y Jointure, fecure you an Anniuty of three hundred

Pounds

T'be Tlain-Dealer. 113

Ponnds a Year, and pay your Debts j and that's all
you younger Brotheis defire to marry a Widow for,
Yxa lure.

Fnt, Well, Widow, if

Jerr. What, I hope, Bnlly-Guardian, you are not
making Agreements without me i

Fr*t. No, no. Firft, Widow, yon mnft fay no
more that he is a Son of a Whore ; have a care of
that : And then, he mnft have a fettled Exhibition
of forty potuids a Year, and a Nag of Aflizes, kept
by yon, but not upon the Common j and have
free ingre^, egrefs and regrefs to and from your
Maids Garret.

JftL Well, I can grant all that too.

j€rr. Ay, ay, fair Words butter no Cabbage ^ but,
Goardian, make her Sign, Sign and Seal: for other-
wife, if yon knew her as well as I, you wou'd not
[Tuft her Word for a Farthing

Fret. I warrant thee. Squire. Well, Widow, fince
thou art fo generous, I will be generous too ; and
if youH fecure me four hundred ponnd a Year,
but during your Life, and pay my Debts, not above
a thoufand Pound j I'll bate you your Perfon, to
difpofe of as you pleafe.

md. Have a care. Sir, a Settlement without a
Confideration, is void in Law : yon muft do fome-
thing kft.

Fne. Prithee, then let the Settlement 00 me be call'd
Alimony : and the Confideration, our Separation :
Come, my Lawyer, with Writings ready drawn, is
within, and in hafte. Come.

ffid. But, what, no other kind of conHderation,
Mr. Framm i well, a WidowJI fee, is a kind of a>w
cure, by cnftom of which the unconfcionable Incum-
bene enjoys the Profits, without any Duty, but does
thac iltll elTewhcre. I Ex. ommu

I4 7U

D,l.z.:;,C.OOg|i:

1X4 ^* TlainDtaler,

The Scene changes to Olivia'j Lo^if^'

Eater OHvia wUb a Candle in her Hand.

Oliv. So, I am now prepar'd once more for myij-!
morous young Lo?er's Reception : my Husband is
gone ; and go ihoa out too, thou next Interrupter

of Love [ Putt out the Candle.'] kind Darknefs,

that frees ns Lovers from Scandal and Baftifulnefi,
from the Cenfure of our Gallants, and the World—
So, are you there i

Ester to OHvia, Fidelia, foliow'^fofily hj Manly.

Come, my dear pundual Lover, there is not fuch
another in the World, thou haft Beauty and Youth to
pleafe a Wife ; Addrefs and Wit, to amufe and fool a
Husband ; nay, thou haft all things to be wilh'd in 3-
Lover, but your Fits : I hope^ my Dear, you won't
have one to Night ; and that you may not. Til lock
the Door, tho' there be no need of it, but to lock
out your Fits ,' for my Husband is juft gone out of
Town again. Come, where are you ?

£ Goes to the Doer, and locki it.

Man. Well, thou haft Impudence enough to give
me fits too, and make Revenge it felf impotent, hin-
der me from making thee yec more infamous, if 'v.
can be. {^Afde,

oiiv, Come, come, my Soul, come.

Fid. Prefently, my Dear, we have time cnough>
fur-e. .

Oliv. Hoy ! Time enough ! True Lovers can no
inore think they ever have Time enough, than Love
pnough: Youfliall flay with me alt Night; but that
fs but a Lover's Moment. Come,

D3l,z^:;,. Google

The fIai»-Dealer. ixc

fU But won't you let me give yen and my felf the
Sarisfa<aion of telling you how I abus'd your Husband
laftNight?

Olhf. Not when yon can gire me, and your felf
coo,' the Satisfadion of abufing hjm again to Night,
Come.

i?</. Let me but tell you hbwyour Husband-^—

Olhf. O name not hiSj or Manly s more loathfoma
Name, if you Io?e me ,■ I forbid *em laft Night s
And you know I mentioned my Husband but once,'
and he came. No talking, pray, 'twas ominous to
us. You make me fancy a Noife at the Door already,
but I'm refoiv'd not to be interrupted. [ A Noife at
the Door.l Where are you? Come, for, rather than
lofe my dear Expedation now, tho' my Husband
were at the Door, and the bloody Ruffian Ma»h
here in the Room, with all his awful Infolence, 1
wou'd give my felf to this dear Hand, to be led a-
way, to Heavens of Joys, which none but thou canft
give. But what's this Noife at the Door ? So, I told
you what talking wou'd come to. [Tie Noife at the
Doer imreafti.'] Hal— ^O Heavens, my Husband's
Voice I _ [OW^xsi lifitns at the Door,

Man. Fr«wtf» is come too foon. S^Afdt.

Oliv. O, 'tis hel— — Then here's the happieft Mi-
nute loft, that ever bafiiful Boy, or trifling Woman
fool'd away I I'm undone I my Husband's Reconcile-
ment too was faffe, . as my Joy, all Dclufion : But
conie this way, here's a Back-door.

[_Exit, and returml
The officious Jade has lock'd us in, inftead of. lock-
ing others oat j but let us then efcape your way, by
the Balcony ; and whilft you pull down the Curtains,
I'll fetch from my Clofet, what next will beft fecure
our Efcape : I have left my Key in the Door, and
'twill not fuddenly be broke open. [ Exit.

[ A Noife as it were People forcing the Door.

Man. Stir not, yet fearing nothing.

Fitl' Nothing but your Life, Sir.

Mao. We

,i6 The PU/H-Dealer.

Man. We Ihall know this happy Man (he calls Has^
band.

Olivia n-intert.

Oliv. Oh, where are yon ? What, idle with fear >
Coine, I'll tie the Curtains, if yoa wilt hold. Here,
take this Cabinet and Piufe, for it is thine> if we e-
fcape: [ Manly takes from her tbt Cahhep and Pvrji.

cheieiore let us make haiie. [Sx. Oliv.

Man. 'Tis min^ indeed now again, and it iliaU ne-
ver efcape more from me, to yon, at leaft.

\_'TheDaer hrohe cpeut Enter Vemifii akne, with a Jart
ZuMtbem and a Sword, running ^it Manly, wboArawsy
puts bj tbt Thrufiy and defends blmfelf, whilfi Fidelia
rtms at Verniih behind.

Ver. So, there I'm right fare— [»7/i a low Voice.

Man. fefrly. Sword and dark Lanthom, Villain, are
fome odds ,- bat— —

Ver. Odds ! I'm fure I find more odds than I expeft-

ed : What, has my infatiable two Seconds at once ?

Bat— \Witb a low Voice.

[ Whilfi tbg fgbt, Olivia re-enters^

tjing two Curtains together.

Oliv. Where are you now? - - —What, is he en>
tred then, and are they fighting ? O do not kill one -
that can make no defence. [Manly throws Vernifii
down, and difarms htm. ] How ! but I think he has the
better on't : Here's hb Scarf, 'tis he. So, keep him
down Aill : I hope thou haft no hart, my deareft >

[ Emhadt^ Manly.

;,■ Google

Tie Thin-Vti^ler. sxr

Enttr to thtm Freraian, Lard PlanHblo, Novel, Jerry
BiickzaCj and tit Widow 6tackacre,%ife^iB by tkt
two SaUort with Torebts.

Hal what? — Ateify/ And hare I been thu»

pwceni'd for him, emlvadog him I And has he his
Jewels again too ? >Vbar means this ? O, 'tis coo fare,
as well as my Shame ! which I'll go hide for erer.

[C^trs to go out, and Manly fiops htr^

Man. No, my deareit,. after fo much K^indnefs as
has paft between as, I cinnot part with you yet. B-w-
jHMj let no Body Qir ont of the Room ; for notwith>
Handing your Lights, we are yet in the Dark, 'till

(bis Gemleman picafe to tnrn his Face

[ PiiSi Vernifil ty the Sleeve'.
How .' Vtrn^! Art thon the happy Man then ? Thou!
Thou ! fpeakj I fay ; bat thy guilty filence tells me
all well, I (hall not upbraid thee ; for my Won-
der is ftriking me as damb, as thy Shame has made
thee. Bat what? my little Volunteer hurt, and
fainting !

Ftd. My Voand, Sir, is but a (lite one in my Arm ;
'lis only my fear of yoar danger. Sir, not yet weU
orer.

Man, But what's here i more firange things !

[ Ohjerving Fidelia'j Hair unl/d beb'mdj and
without a Peruke, -which jke lofi in the Scu0e.
^hat means this long Woman's Hair, and Face!
Now all of it appears too beautiful for a Man ; whidi
I flill thought Womanifh indeedj what^ you have not
deceived me too, my little Volunteer i

Olrv. Me Jhe has, I'm fure. [ Afid4,

fdtm* Speak.

;, Google

1x8 The Tlaiif Dealer.

Enter Eliza ani Letcice.

EUx^ What, Coufin, I am brought hither by yonr
Womaiij I fuppofe, to be a Wicncfs of the fecond
Vindication of your Honour ? .

Oliv. Infulting is not generous: You might Tpare
me, I have you.

EliK>. Have a care, Confin, you'll confefi anon too
mach i and I wou'd not have your Secrets.

Man. Come, your Bluflies anfwerme fufficiently,
and you have been my Volunteer in Love.

ITo Fidelia.

Fid. I muft confefs, I needed no Compulfion to
follow you all the World over j which I accempccd in
this Habit, partly out of Shame to own my Love to
you, and fear of a greater Shame, your Refufal of
it : for I knew of your Engagement to this Lady, and
the Conftancy of your Nature ^ which nothing cou'd
have alter'd, but her felf.

Mm. Dear Madam, I defir'd you to bring me out
of Confufion, and you have given me more : I know
not what to fpeak to you, or how to look upon you j
theSenfe of my rough, hard, and illUfage of you,
Ctho' chiefly your own Fault) gives me more Pain
now 'tis over, than you had, when you fufFer'd it:
And if my Heart, the Refufal of fuch a Woman,
\_Foiming to Olivia J were not a Sacrifice to prophane
your Love, and a greater Wrong to you than ever
yet I did you j I wou'd beg of you to receive it, tho*
you us'd it, as flie had done ; for tho* it deferv'd not
from her the Treatment (he gave it, it does froni
you.

Fid. Then it has had Punifhment fufficient for her '
already, and needs no more from me ,■ and, I muft
confefs, I wou'd not be the only caufe of makings
yon break your laft Night's Oath to me, of never part-
ing with me ; if you do not forget, or repent it.

Man. Then

The Plain Dealer, 1x9

Afan. Then take for ever my Heart, and this with
it ; [G/wi her the Cahhet. ] for 'twas given to you be-.
fore, and my Heart was before your due j I only beg
leave to dilbofe of thefe few-i — Here, Madam, I
never yet left ray Wench unpaid., [ TakttJ^me

cf the Jevfelj, and offers 'em to Olivia ; fiie Jtritti
'em down : Plauiible and Novel takt *em uf.

OUv. So it feems, by giving her the Cabinet.

i. Tlauf. Thefe Pendents apperrain to your moft
faithful humble Servant.

Nov. And this Locket is mine j my earn'efl for
Love^ which Ihe never paid : therefore my own a-
gain.

fVtd. By what Law, Sir, pray ? Coufin Olivia^ a
word: What do they make a Seifure on your Goods
and Chattels, -yi & arma? Make your Demand, I
fay, and bring your Trover, bring your Trover. I'll
follow the Law for you.

Oli-v. And I my Revenge. {_Exit. Oliv.

A/^». to ^er. But 'tis my Friend, in your Confidera-
tion moft, that t would have return'd part of your
Wife's Portion ; for 'twere hard to take all from thee,
fince thou haft paid fo dear for't, in being fuch a Ra-
fcal : Yet thy Wife is a Fortune without a Portion g
and thou art a Man of that extraordinary merit ia
Viyany, the World and Fortune c^m never defert
thee, tho' I do } therefore be not melancholly. Fare
you well. Sir. [ Ex. Vernifli doggedly. Now, Madam,
1 beg your Pardon, f 7«r«;»g ;o Fidelia] for leffen-
ing the Prefent I maJe you ; but my Heart can ne-
vef be leffen'd : This, I confefs, was too fmall for
you before ; for "you deferve the Indian World j and I
would now go thither, out of Covetoufnefs for your
fake only.

Fid. Your Heart, Sir, is a Prefent of that Value,
I can never make any return to'tj [PuBmg Man-
ly frcm the Comfony.'] but I can give you back fuch a
Prefent as thisj which I got by ihe Lofs of my Father,
a Gentleman of the North, of no mean Extradion,

whofe

i\Q the Pla'uhbealef.

whofe only Child I was. tbierefore left me in the pter
ient Poffeffion of two thouCand Pouiids a Yearj which
I left with muiiitudes of Pretenrlcrs, to f'-' ^jw you.
Sir ,• having in feveral publick Praces leti you, and
obfcrv'd your AAions throughly, with Admiration,
when you were too much in Love to take notice of
nine, which yet was but too vifible. The Natne of
my Family is Grty, my other Fidtlia .- The reft of my
Story you fliall know when I have fewer Aaditots. -

Msn. Nay, now, Madam^ you have taken froni
ine all power of making yon any Complement on
ihy part ; for I was going to tell yoii, tlut for your
fake only, I wou'd quit the unknown Pleafnre of
a Retirement ; and rather flay in this ill World of onrs
fiilt, tho* odious to me, than give you more Frights
again at Sea, and make ae;ain too great a Venture
there, in you alone. But ifl ftiou'd tell you now all
this, and that your Virtue Cfince greater than t
thought any was in the World ) had now recbncil'd
ne tot, my Friend here wou'd fay, 'tis your Eftatc
that has made me Friends with the World.

Frte. 1 mult coofe&, I fhou'd j for I think moft of
bur Quarrels to the World, are juil fuch as we have
to a haudfome Woman : only becaufe we cannot eh-
joy her as we wou'd do.

Man. Nay, if thou art a Tlam-Jealer too, give hie
Ay Hand ; for now I'll lay, I am thy Friend indeed :
And for your twofakes, tno' I have been fo lately
deceiv'd in Friends of both Sexes j

I wiU htUtve there art muf in tht tVerU
Cood-natur'd Friends f mho are not Profiitittts,
^nd bandfome W«mtn worthy to he Friends :
Tit, fir my fake, let w «m e're cmjide
Jn Tear J, or Oathi, in Love^ or Friend untiy'd.

[£x.0mMA

FINIS.

..Google

EPILOGUE.

Spoken by the WUojp Blackflcre,

To you the JuJgti lumuJ in Sugt-Laws,
Our Pott mm, by mt, fuhmiu his CMi/i ;

Per witb young Juigti, fucb ms mefi ofytUf

Tie Men by Womtn bifiy thtir Bufinift Jo :

And, Truth mt tjj if you did not fit here.

To keep for mm a Term tbrougbout tht Ttar,

Wt cou'd not live hy'r Toques: Nay, but for yOH,

Our Cbanther-p^a&ict woudbe little too,

Ani 'tit not only the Stage-PraBicer

Wboj by your metting^ ettt htr Living btrt $

Ftr, at in Hsllof WettOliafteTj

Sleek Stmffirtft vmtt, amidfi the Cmrts, her Ware :

So, while wt baulf *nd ym in Jut^ment fit,

TheVifn^MMsk fells Linen too ttb' Pit.

0, matfy efyonr Friendi, befidet ut btre.

Do live by fatting off tbtirjevral Wgre,

Ben's daily done tbi great Affair o'tb' Nation ;

let Live md Us I ben, ne'er have Lmg-Vaeatim.

£m helA j likt ether Pleadertf I have dene

Not my foor Clients Buj'ntfs, but my ffwn.

Spare me « Iferd then, new, for bim. Firfi knnv'f

Sqifirei if the Long-Robe, be dees humbly Phw,

lie has ajufi Right in abufingyea ;

Baanft he is a brocher-Templar fM .-

For et the Bar you raiily one another ;

And, Fool and Knave, is fivalkw' d from a Brother i

If not the Poet here, the TetaplzT ffare.

And maul bim, when yon eateb bim at the Bar.

From you t eur common meitfi Cenfurers,

TiHr Favour, net your Judgment, 'tis be fears :

Of all Loves b^tyeu then to rail^ find fault : 1

Fer Flays, like Women, by the World are tbenght f

( When yon fftsk kindly <f 'em) wy naught, >

THE

;, Google

THE

Country-Wife,

A

COMEDYi

AiSed at the

Xheatre-RoyaL

Written by Mr. Wycherley.

InJiinor tjuicquam Ttfrihtniii, mn auia crajje
Camfofitjtm iUepdnit ^titttr, fid ^uia nujur :
Ntc vmiam jintiqahj fid bomrem & frtemia fafei^

Hontj

LONDON:

Pfinted for McbarJ WeHingim, it tte Dtlfiia and
Cnm in^t. Pairs Chndrltrj. 1711. _j

■ *

;, Google

PROLOGUE

fpoken by Mr. Hart

POetSy iilce GuJgeTJ BuUiesi never S
At firfi^ 9r fecend hhit^.juhmit t0 ymi
. But aitl prnfcke fon /iill, and nier have Jpnc,
Till y$u are tveary firfi, with layitig eti:
7be late fo Baffled Scriiler of this iay^
"ThoKgb be flanks tremilrng, iiJs me hoUly fay]
fVbat we before mefi flays are us'd to do^
For Poets out of _ fear^ frfl drapjn you j
In a fierce Prelogue^ the ftill Fit depe.
And e'er you fpeak^ like CaQril, give tbelf^i
But though our Bayfes Battles oft I've feugbt.
And with hruis'd knuckles^ tbeir deat Conqnefls lougbt ;
My, never yet fear'd Odds upon tbe Stage^
In Prelovte dare not HeBor mtb the ^e.
But moud take garter from joUr faving hdnds^
Though Bayfe toitbin all yielding Countermands,
Says you Qonfedtrate Wits no garter give^ .
Jber'fere his Play fban't ask your leave to live i
Well^ let tbe vain rafh Fop, hy bt^t^fit
Think to obtain the better terms of you i
But toe^ tbe A^trs, humbly mS fubmit.
Now, and at any time, to a full Pit ; ■
Nay, often we anticipate your rag^f
And murder Poets for you, on our Stage i
Wefet no Guards up onourlyring-Room,
But aben with fiyi*g Colour s^ there yen fAM,
We patiently yoH fee, give up to yoU,
Our Poets, Firyns, nay, our Matrons toOi

K » ito'

D,l,z.:;,. Google

The Perfons.

MR. Horner.
Mr. Harcoutt.
Mr. SarHant,
Mi. Pinchmfe.
lAt. Sforkilh,
Sir Jaffer Fidget, ■
Mrs. Margery Pinchmfe.
Mrs. Alitbea,
My Lady Fidget,
Mrs. D««!(> Fidget.
Mrs. Squea^i/h,
Pld Lady Squeimilb-

Mr. //ar/,
Mr. Xenaftm,
Mr. Lydat.
Mr. Mobuft.
Mr. Haynes.
Mr. Cartmight.
Mrs. Bowtel.
Mrs. 7i»ar«.
Mrs. ^»f;>.
Mrs. Corbet.
Mrs. f^»».
Mrs. Jfa//ey.

JVaiterSi Setvants, aW Awendants.

A (Jaaf^ , Mt. Shotferel.

Lucy, Alitheds Mild, Mis. 'Cory.

I'he S'GENE I«!i<ifc«.

THE

;,C.oogli:

THE

Country- Wife.

ACT I. SCENE I.

Enter Hofoer, ^KtJ Quack /oi^o^ng him at a 4i0anft^

Htr. A Qvack b as fit for a Vimp, as ^ Mid^
/\ ^yife for a Bawd, they ^re {till bnc in
r"^ their way, both helpers of N^tore.— ^

jL Jk- i4fi^^ Well, my dear DoAor, haft

ch(>9 4oi)¥ wt^t I dcHred i

^u. I have undone yon for erer with the Vo^
men, and reported you throughout the whojbe Tpwa
3s bad' as an Ei^^eb, with as innch trouble as it I
had inad^ you one in eamefl.

iler. But have you told all the Midwifes you koow^
the Orange \Venches at the Pl^y-houfes, the City
}}t^bandsj and ptd Fumbling Keepers of this end of
the Jo\^n,''ioz th^y 11 t^ the readieft to report it.

^. I hav^ told, all the Chamber-tnaids, Waving^
wqnt^q, Tyfe-wonjeti, gnd Old Women pf my a/a*
qaaiataince ; nay^'anij w^per'd ii as a f^cret tq 'eta,
and to the'Whirperers of WbittbaU j fo that you need
HOC doubt 'twill rprcad,' add you WUI be 9s qdioui^
ftiV handfome young Women,' a; ■

m. AsthctowUPo^.— T'^— wel l .

t Ji The Country U^ife.

^. And to the Married Women of this end of th«
Town> as

Hor. As the great ones ; nay, as their own Hus-
bands.

^. And to the City Dames as Annis-feed Rahin,
of nlt^y and contemptible memory ; and they will
frighten their Children with your Dame, efpecially
their Females. " *

Hor.. And cry Hemtr's coming to carry you away ;
I am only afraid 'twill not be believ'd j you told
'em it was by an EngU^-Frencb Difafterj and an Eng-
Mi-Frentb Chirurgeon, who has given me at once,
hot only a Cnre, but an Antidote for the future^ a-
gainfl that damn'd Malady, and that worfe Diftem-
per, L6ve, gnd all other Women's Evils.

^. Your late Journey into France has made it the
more credible, and ^oqr being here a Fortnight be-
fore y'oa appear'd in publick, loohs as if you ap-
prehended the fhame, which I wonder you do not : .
^ell I have been hired by young Gallants to belye
'em t'other way j but you are the fitft wou'd be
thought a Man unfit for Women.

■ Her. Dear Mr. Do^or, let vain Rogues be con-
tented only to be thought abler Men than they
are, generally 'tis all the pleafure they have j but
hiine lies another way.

■ ^. You take, methioks, a very prepofterous way
to it, .and as ridiculous as if we Operators in Phyiick,
Apu'd put forth Bills to difparage our Medicaments,
,~with hopes to gain Cuftomers.

Hot. Doiftor,' there are Quacks in Love as well as
Phyfick, who get but the fewer and worfe Patients,
for thel^ boauing ; a good Name is feldom got by
■giving it ones felf, and Women no more than Honour
are compafs'd !}¥ bragging: Come, come Doftor, the
Wiftft Lawyer never difcovers the merits ofhiscaufe
till the tryal'j thCwealthieft M^ti conceals his Riches,
and the cunning Gamefter his Play ; Shy Husbands
and Keepers, like old Rocks, are not to be cheated,
but by a new unpra^ic^d ftick j falfc FriendOiip

will

The ComtrrWife. 1^3

will now no more than falfe Dice npon ""em ; no,
not in ihe City.

£nrer Boj.

Bty. Ttieie are two Ladies and a Gentleman com*
ing up.

Hor. A Pox, fomc unbelieving Sifters of my former
acquaintance, who I am afraid,exped their fenfe Ihoa'd
be (atisfy'd of the falfity of the report. ,Enttr Sirjafp.

No this formal Fool and Women '. jFid. Ladf Fid.

Sand Mrs. Dain-

j^«. His Wifp and Sifter. ity Fidgec

Sr. Jaf. My Coach breaking juft now before yoor
door. Sir, I look upon as an occafional reprimand to
me. Sir, for not kiffing your hands. Sir, lince your
coming out of Fravct, Sir ; and fo my difafter. Sir,
has been my good fortune, Sir^ and* this is my
Wife, and Sifter, Sir.

Her. What then. Sir?

Sr. Jnf. My Lady, and Sifter, Sir. Wife, this

is Matter Horner.

La. Fid. Mafier Hmiery Husband !

Sr. Jaf. My Lady, my Lady Fidgity Sir.

Hor. So, Sir,

■St. Jaf Won't you be acquainted with her Sir ?
[So the report is true, I find by liis coldnefs or areiw
fion to the Sex ; but I'll play the wag with him.]

Pray falute my Wife, my Lady, Sir.

Hot. I will kifs no Man's Wife, Sir, for him Sir ^
I have t^ken my eternal leave. Sir, of the Sex al-
ready. Sir.

Sr. Jaf Hah, hah, hah ; I'll plague him yet. {J^de.
Not know my Wife, Sir ?

Hor. I do know your Wife, Sir, flie's a Woman,
Sir, and confequently a Monfter, Sir, a greater
Monfter than a Husband, Sir.

Sr. Jaf' A Husband j how. Sir ?

K 4 HfW.So,

1^4 "^^^ Country Wife,

Hor. So, Sir ; but I make no moie Cuckolds, Sir
{maius borm.

Sr. Jaf. Hah, hah, hah. Mercury^ Mercury.

La.Ftd. Pny^Sit Jaf^r, let US be gone from thi«
rude Fellow.

Mrs. Daint. Who, by his breeding, wau'd think,
he had ever been in France ?

La. Fid. Foh, he's but too much a Fmch Fellow,
foch as hate "Women of quality aod vtrtae, for their
lore to their Husbands, Sir Jeffer ; a Woman is hated
hy 'e(fi as much for loving her Husband, as fM ba-
ring their Money : But pray let's be gone,

Hot. You do well. Madam, for I have nothing
chat you cam^'for : I have brought over not fo
much as a Bawdy Pi&ure, new Pofturea, nor the
fecond Part of the Efcole de FiSes ; Nor-^-^

^tf. Hold for fliame. Sir j what d'ye mean ? you'll
raine your felf for ever with the Sex ■ "

[afart to Homer.

Sr. Jaf. Hah, hah, hah, he hates Women perfeft-
ly I 6nd.

Da'tn. What pity 'tis he fliou'd. -

La. Fid. Ay, he's a bafe rude Fellow for't ; but
affedation makes not a Woman more odious to them,
than Virtue.

Hor. fiecaufe your Virtue is your greatell afTeda*
tion. Madam.

La. Fid. How, you fawcy Fellow, wou'd you wrong
my honour ?

Hor. If I con'd.

La. fid. How d'ye mean. Sir ?

5r.- Jaj. Hah, hahj hah, no, be can*t wrong your
Lady^ip's honour, upon my honour j he poor Man-^
hark you in your ear a mere Eumueh.

La. Fid. O filthy French Beaft, foh, foh j why do
we itay ? let's be gone j I can't endure the light of
him.

Sr. Jaf. Stay, but till the Chairs come, they*U k^
|i6ie piefemly.

The Comtry-mfe. i^y

La, ftJ. No, no.

Sr. Jaf Nor can I ftay longer ; 'tis let me

fee, a quarter and a half quarter of a minnce pait
Bleven ; the Coimcil Will be late, I matt away ;
Bufinefs mull be preferred always befwe Love an4
Ceremony with the wife Mr- Horner.

Her. And the Impotent Sir Jefftr.

Sr. Jaf. Ay, ay, the Impotent Mafier Homer , hah,
bah, hah.

La. Ftd. What leave as with a lihhy Man alone in
his Lodgings?

Sr. Jaf, He's an innocent Mao now, yon know y
pray ftay, I'll haftcn the Chairs to you.— ^-—— Mr.
Honur your Servant, I fliou'd bs ghd to fee yon
at my houfe ; pray come and dine with me, and
pkiy at Cards with my Wife after Dinner, you arc fit
for Women at that game yet, hah, ha - ['Tia a«

much a Husband's prudence to provide innocent dJH
verikui for a Vife, as to hinder her nnlawfiil ptea-i
fures ,• and he iiad better employ her, than let her
employ her fi?lf. ^Mdi.

Parewel. • [Exit Sir JaJpgr.

ifcr. . Your Servant Sir Jafptr.

La. fid. I will not flay with him, foh— —

Bor. Nay, Madam, I befeech yoo flay, if it be
but to fee, I can be as civil to Ladies yet, as tbcy
won'd deiire.

La. Fid. No, no, foh, you cannot be civil ta
Ladies.

DtfM. Yoa as civil as Ladies wou'd defu-e.

La. Fid. No, no, no, foh, fob, foh. [Uxtmt Ladf
. Fid. tfW Dainty.

j^. Now I think, I, or yoa your felf rather, havo
^ done your bufinefs with the Women.

Hot. Thon art an Ais, don't you fee already, up-
on the report and my carriage, this grave Mao of
boHneQ leaves his Vife in my Lodg^gs, invites me
to his Honfe and Wife, who before wou'd not ba
icqoaiated wkh meotit of jealoufie.

^.Nay,

i;6 The CouHtryWije.

^. Nay, ty this means you may be the more ac-
quainted with the Hasbands, but the lefs with the
Wives.

Har. Let me alone, if I can bat abofe the Hus-
bands, I'll foon difabufe the Wives : Stay I'll

reclcon you tip the Advantages, I am like to have
by my Stratagem : Firft, I {nail be rid of all my old
Acquaintances, the mod infacjable forts of Duns, chac
invade our Lodgings ia a Morning : And next to
the pleafure of making a New Miitreb. is that of
being rid of an old One, and of all old Debts ;
Love when ic comes to be fo, is paid the moft un-
willingly.

^«. Well you may be fo rid of your old Acquain-
tances ; but how will you get any new Ones ?

Hot. Doi^or, thou wilt never make a good Chymif^,
diou art fo incredulous and impatient j ask but alt
the young Fellows of the Town, if they do not
lofe more time like HuntTmen, in ftarcing the Game
ihan in running it down ; one knows not where
to find 'em, who will, or will not j Women of
Quality are fo civil, you can hardly diftinguiffj love
from good breeding} and a Man is often miftaken ;
but now I can be fure, Ihe that fhews an averfion
to me loves the fport, as thofe Women that are
gone, whom I warrant to be right : And then thenexc
thing, is your Women of Honour, as you call 'em,
are only chary of their Reputations, not . their Per-
fons, and 'tis fcan'dal they wou'd avoid, not Men :'
Now may I have, by the Reputation of an Eunitcb,
the Privileges of One j and be feen in a Ladies
Chamber in a Morning as early as her Husband ;
kifs Virgins before their Parents, or Lovers ^ and
may be in ftiort the Pas par tout of the Town. Now,
DoAor.

■ ^. Nay, now you ftall be the Doi%or j and your
Procefs is fo new, that we do not know but it may
liicceed.

Hor. Not fo new nebher, Prohatum */, Dodor.

J^. Well, I wifh you luck and many Patients
wt)int I go to mine. [Exit Quack. ,.. Btttr '

^he Country-Wtfi. i;7

Knter Harcoartj and Dorilanc to Horner.

Har. Come, your appearance at the Play yefter-
Azji has I hope hardned you for the future sgainft
the Womens contempt and the Mens railery ; and
now you'll abroad as you were wont.
Hor. Did I not boar it bravely ?
Dor. With a moft Theatrical Impudence ; nay more
than the Orange-Wenches ftew there, or a drunken
Vizard Mask, or a great beHy'd Aftrefs ,■ nay,
or the moft impudent of Creatures, an ill Poet j
or what is yet more impudent, a fecood-hand
Critick.

Hor. But what fay the Ladies, have they no pity ?
H^r. What Ladies ? the Vizard Mafques you knov
never pity a ^an when all's gone, though in their
Service.

Dor. And for the Women in the Boxes, you'd
never pity them, when 'twas in yourpower.

Har. They fay, 'tis pity but all that deal wiih com-^
mon Women ftou'd befervd fo.

Vi^. Nay, 1 dare fwear, they won't admit you to
play at Cards with them, goto Plays with 'em, or
do the little Duties which other Shadows of Men
are wont to do for 'em.

Her. Who do you call Shadows of Men j
Vcr. Half Men.
Hot. What Boys ? ,

"Dgt. Ay, your old Boys, old heaux Garconit who
like fuperannuated Stallions are fufFer'd to run, feed,
and whinny with the Mares as long as they live,
though they can do nothing elfe.

Her. Well, a Pox on love and wenchmg. Women
ferve but to keep a Man from better Company^
though I cart't enjoy them. I ftiall you the more;
good fellowfiiip and £riendfliip, are lafting, rational
and manly pleafures.

Har. For all that give me fome of thofe pleafaresj
yoti call effeminate too, they help to relifli one
another. fl^""

1^8 7^' Conntrj-lVife.

Hor. They difturb one another.

Har. No, Miftreffes are like Books j if yon poird
upoa them too much, they doze you, and make you
unfii for Company ; but if iwM difcreetly, you are
the fitter for converfation by 'em.

Por. A Miftrefs (hou'd be like a little Country Re-
treat near the Town, not tp dwell in conftantly,
but only for a Night and away j to tafte. the Town
the better when a Man returns.

Hot". I tell you, 'tis ai hard to be agoodF?Ilow,
9 good Friend, and a Lover of Women, as 'tis to
be a Rood Fellow, a feood Fri(;nd, and a Lover of
Money : You cannot follow both, then choofe your
fide i Wine gives you liberty. Love takes it away.

Dgr. Gad, he's iq the right on't.

Hot. Wine gifissyou joy^ |^owe grief and tortures ;
befides the Chirurgeons Wine makes us witty. Low
only fots : Wine makes us fleepi Love breaks it,

X>or. By the World he has reafbn, Hmourt.

Hur. Wine mqk^S' . , . ..

Tkir. Ay, Wine min(tes us-:: -i^ake^ us ptincci.

Love makes us Beggars, poor B-ogyes, y g^d— — an4
Wine — ' \

Her. SOj there's o?^ converted—: — T'Np, n^» f-Q'?
and Wine, Oil and Vinegar. '

Har. I grant it ; Love will ftill be npgernipft.

Hor. Come, for my part J will h»ve only thofe
glorious, manly pleafnres of being very dr^nk. Had
Tcry flovenly.

^ntcr Boy.

Boj. Mr. Sparkijh is below. Sir.

Har. What, my dear Friend ! a Rogue that is fond
of me, only I think for abating him.

Dor. No, he can no more think the Men laugh at
him, than that Women jUc him, his Opindon of him-,
felf is fo good.

liar. W«ll

The CMMtryWife. 1^9

ttor. Wellj there*s another Pleafure by drlhking, I
tfiought not of, I Ihall lofe his Acquaintance, becaiA
Ik cannot drink ; and yea know 'tis a very hard chinA
CO be rid of him, for he's one of thofe naufeoQs O^
ierers at Wit, who like the wotft Fidlers run th«n>-
felresiflto all Companies.

Har. One, that by being in the Company of Men
of Senfe woa'd pafi for one.

Her. And may fo to the ftion-dghted World,
as a falfe jewel amon^ trne ones, is not difcern'd
fit a Diflance j his Company is as troublefome to
USj as a Cuckolds, when you have a mind to his
Wife's.

Har. No, the Rogae if ill not let us enjoy one aho-
iher, but ravifhes our Conrerfation, though he ligni-
tes ho more to't, than Sir Martin Mar-aid gaping,
and auker'd thrumming upon the Lute, does to his
Man's Voice, and Mufick.

Dor, And to pafs for a Wit in Town, flicws him-
(elf a Fool every Night to us, that are gailty of the
Plot.

Bar. Such Wits as he, are, to a Company of rea-
fonable Men« like Rooks to the Gameflers, who on-
ly fill a Room at the Table, bm are fo far from con-
tribating to the Play, that they only feive to fpoil
the Fancy of thofe that do.

Dor. Nay, they are us'd like Rooks too, fnub'd,
check'd, and abus'il j yet the Rogues will hang on.

Hot. a Pox on 'em, and all that force Nature, and
wou'd be ftill what fhe forbids 'em ,- Affedacion is her
greatcA Monfter.

Har. Moll Men are the contraries to that they
wou'd feem j yoar fiolly yon fee, is a Coward with
a long Sword j the little humbly fawning Phyfician
with his Ebony Cane, is he that deltroys Meh.

D&r. The Ufurer, a poor Rogae, polTefs'd of
moldly Bonds, and Mongages j and we they rail
Spend- thrifts, are only wealthy, who lay out hit Mo-
ney upon daily new Purchafcs of Ploafucc.

^Hr. Ay,

140 TbeCsuiurfWife.

Bar. Ay, yoDr erranteft Cheat, is yon^ Tnified
or Execncor ; yoar jealous Man, the greateH Cuc-
kold ; your Chnrch-tnaoj the gieateft Achdft ; and
yoor noifie pert Rogue of a WiCj the greateft Fc^^
dnlkft A&, and worit Ompany, as you fliall fee :
For here he comes. -^

Enter SparkUh to thtm.

Sfsr. How is't. Sparks, how is't? Veil Faith,
Harryt I vmi^ railly thee a little, ba^ ha, ha, upon
die Report in Town of thee, ha, ha, ha, I can't
bold y Faith ; fhalt I fpeak ?

Hor. Yes, bac yon'U be fo^itter then.

S^r. Honed Diet and Frank here fhall anfwer
&r me, I will not be extreme bitter, by the Uni-
Terfe-

Hot. We will be bound in ten thoufand pound Bond,
be fliall not be bitter at all.

Dor. Nor (harp, nor fweet.

Hor. What, not down right'infipid ?

Spar. Nay then, fince you are lb brisk, and pro*
voke me, take what follows ; you muft,luiow, I was
difcoarling and raillying with fome Ladies yefierday,
and they hapned to talk of the fine new ^gas in
Town.

Htr. Very 6ne Ladies I beliere.

Sjtar. Said I, I know where the beft new Sign is.
Where, fays one of the Ladies ? In Covmt-GarZnj I
reply 'd. Said another,' in what Street ? In R»ffilr
Strtttt anfwer'd I. Lord, fays another, I'm fiire
there was ne'er a fine new Sign there yeltenlay. Yes,
but there was, faid I again, and it came one of Franca,
and has been there a Fortnight.

Dor. A Pox, I can hear no more, prithee.

Her. No, hear him out ; lee him tone his Crowd x
while.

Bar. The wocit Mufick the greateft Preparation.

5j|w. Nay>

D3l,z.^:;,. Google

Th6 Country- Wife. 141,

SfM-'' Nay, Faith, I'll make you laogh. Zc cannot
be, fays a third Lady. Yes, yes, quoth I again^ Says
a fourth Lady, ■

Hor. Look to't, we'll have no more Ladies.

S<i*r. No,— —then mark, mark, now, faid I to
the Fouish, did you never fee Mr. Homer ; be lodges
in RMJfel'^rHtt and he's a Sign of a Man, you know,
fince he came out of France, heh, hah, he.

Hot. But the Devil take me, if thine be the Sign
ofajea.

Sfar. With that they all fell a laughing, 'till they
bepils'd thcmfelves ? What, but it does not move
yoQ, mechinks ? Well, I fee one had as good go to
Law without a WitneO, as break a Jeil without a
Laughter on one's fide.' ■■ --Come, come. Sparks,
but where do we dine^ I have left at Whiteball an Earl
CO dine with you.

Dor. Why, 1 thought thou hadft lov'd a Man with
a Title better, than a Suit with a Frtncb trimming
to't.

Har. Go to him again.

Spar. No, Sir, a Wit to me is the greateft Tide in
theWld.

Hor, Bat go.dine with your Earl, Sir, he may be
exceptions ; we are your Friends, and will not take ic
ill to be left, 1 do aiture you.

Har. Nay, Faith, he Ihall go to him.

Sfar. Nay, pray Gentlemen.

Dor. We'll thrnft you out, if you wo'not, what
diCippoint any Body for us ?

Sfar. Nay, dear Gentlemen, hear me.

Hor. No, no. Sir, by no means j pray, go. Sir.

Sfar. Why, dear Rogues.

[Tbey all thrufi b'tmoHt ef tbe Rmoi.

Dor. No, no.

AIL Ha, lia, ha. [ Spar, rttitmt.

Sfar. But, Sparks, pray heartnej what d'ye think
111 eat then with gay JhaUow Fops, and Tilenc Cox-
cotpbs ? I think wit as necel^y .at Dinner^ at a.<jlaff
oi good Vine, and that's the Reafon 1 ncrec have

any

142, Tbt Cauntry-Hfije.

any Stomach whea I eat aloa&-*--Coii]e, \/ax. whcctf

do we dine ?

ibr. Ev'n where you will.

Sfar. AtCbattiine's.

Der. Yes, if you will,

Sfor. Or at the Cock.

Dor. Yes, if you pleale.

Sfor. Or at the D^ and PsrtriJge.

Hor. Ay, if you have a mind to't, for we Oiall dinti
at neither.

Sfar. Ffiiawj with your fooling we (halt loie the
new Play ; and I wou'd no more mils feeing a a&w
Play the. hrft Day, than I wou'd mifs fetting in the
Wits Row i ther^ort I'll go fetch my MiilreTs and
au«y. [ Exit Spatki&.

Mantnt Horner, Harconrt, Dorilant j Eaterta tketn
Adr. Pinchwife.

Hor* Who have we here, Tinchwife ?

Mr. Pinch. Gentlemen, your humble Servant.

Ifer. Well, Jack, by thy loi^ abfence tfom the
Town, the Grumnefs of thy Countenance, and the
Sltivenlynefs of thy Habit ,• I (hou'd give thee Joy,
ihbu'd i not, of Marriage ?

Mr. Pin. [ Death does he know I'm married too ?
I thought CO have conceal'd it from him at leaft.]

My long flay in the Country will excufe my drefs,
and I have a fuit of Law, that brings me up to Xowtij
that puts me out of Humour j befides I muft give
Sfartip to morrow five thouiand Found to lie with my
Sifter.

Hot. Nay, you Country Gentlemen rather than not
purchafe, will buy anything, and he is a crackt Ti-
tle, if we may quibble : Well, but am I to give thee
Joy, I heard thou were marry'd i

Mr. Pin. What then ?

Her. Why, the next thing that it to be>heard, is
iboa'rtftOickold.

Mr. Pt».'

Irfr. pi* infnppoctable U^Ox. {Afidt.

; jB»r. Bw J dijii pot cxpcft Marriage from fach a
Wbpr«n^lw,38,you, pne th»c iifisv the Tgwn fo
much, and Women to well.

Mr. W«. Why, i hare 0»rry'd no La»,/iw Vife.

/i)r. FJh»w, [hac's all 00^1 that ^ave Circumfpe-
datmiopurxyinga Coiwry V'ifej is like refuOng^
dsceM^ pai^c'J S»itbjitiii^&f cogo ^ b6 cheat-
ed by t Friepd in the. Councry.

&&. Fin. A Ppx oa him and his Simile. [Afidt^

At to»£k w« jve Uctle torpr of t^<i Breed there, know
what hex Jt«cpiiig has Iteetij i^hether foyl'd or un-
foupd.

lUr. Cpme, aorasi, I (tare fcoowp 3 Clap gotten iii
Jif^iju, ajid cbere jafc Cp^nSf jMftioes Clerks, and
ChaelaJns in ^e Country, I won't &y Coach-men j
but uc's handfonoe and young ?

Tin. Til aafiw«r as I lAon'd do. [ y^J«.

No, no, fhe has no beaoty, but her yoath j no Ac-
tta^ios, but her Modefiy, wboITome, homely, and
hufwifely, that's sU-

Dvr. Ue^aUu aslitce.aQ^flcrastielooIcs.

Tin. She'j too au6er'dj lUrfovour'd, and fiUy to
bdl^XpTown.

Hot. Then methmks you fiiou'd bring heif, to be
taigbt bree(Uo&

Rf. To be taught J no, Sir, I thanft yoa, good
Wi?ef, and private Sonldiers fhpu'd be ignonuit.— —
{I'll keep her from your InftrU^ohs^ I warrant you.

Htr, ThfrRogne is as jealous; ai if his Wife were
not igngrant. [ Afide.

. Hot. Why, if ihebe ill-f«Tour*d, there will be lefs
{Ismgq: here for yon, than by leaving he^ in the
CowibV i we have faeh variety of Pmntiei that w^
itpc ^lom htlngry.
. Drr. ftit they have always coa^e^ Cfmfiaatj Cwing^
I lagStonfachs iitthe Country.

Hair. Foul Feeders indeed.

Dor, Apd you'r^ofpitatity is great diere. .

iUr, O^ Hwfe. every M«4's Welcomed .

L fin; Soi

144 ^^^ Cumtry-ffye.

Tin. So, (i). Gentlemen.
■ Hbr.- Buc prichee, why wou-'dfl thou 'marry lr« *
if (he be ugly. III bred, and filly, Ihe muft be rich
then

ViJt. As rich as if fhe brought nie twenty thcmDnt]
Polina ont of this Town, for (he'll be as (lire not to
fpend he^ moderate Portion, as a Lwi^ Baggage
wou'dbe'to fpend hers^ let it be wjhat it wbu'd : To
'tis all one : then becaufe (he's ugly, (lie's the likelier
to be my own j and being ill-bred^ (he'Jl Hate Con-
Verfationj and fince filly and innocent, wiR not know
. the difference betwixt a Man of one and twenty, and
one of forty.

jSijr.'Nine-^— ^tomy knowl^ge; But if (he be fil-
ly ,■ (he'lt-ex'peA as much (irom a Man- of forty, nine,
as from him oF one and twenty : Bdc nrethinks ^ir H
more ncceflTary than Beauty, and I think no young
Woman ugly that hash, and no handfbnieWbman a*
^reeable" without' it.

p;». 'Tisiny Maxim, he's a- FoQl'Thatmartfes, But
he's a greater that does not marry aFbpl ,■ whatiswic
in a Wife good for, hut' to make a Man a Cuckold i
' iitr. Yes, to'keep it from his knowledge. ■

Tin. A E:ool capnot contrive to make her Masband
a Cuckold. -■ ---' ■ -

. Hon No,,but(he'ncIubwitha.Man that-can"* and
what is 'worfe, if flic carinot make her Husband 9
"Cuckold, flie'll'make him jealous,' and paft for .one,
and then 'tis all one. n . ■ " ■'' ' l

"-PiW Wei!, wttll;^ TH take care -for bne, niy*Wife
■(hall make me no Cjtickold, though jhe had your' hifl^,
"hAr. Horner I I uhdcrflahd theToS'n, Sir.' ,' ''■'■.
~ DcT. Hishelp^ ■■■ ■ V ■ ■ C^^*"-

' ' Har.- He's comenewly to Town it fewni, ana h:A
not heard how things are with him. >" . t^fi^-

': kor. But tcH me, has Marriage ci^red thee (rf WHore-
ing, which it feldom does. ". ' :' -■; ■■.■•..

Har. 'Tis more than Age can-do. ■ -

Hor. No', the word \s. III marry and live honeft ; ,
but a Marriagjc' ¥tw is like a' perateht jGametter'i
."^ --""• ■- /. . ■ Oath,

. the CoMtry-W^e. 1^5

X>A^, iiiS en'trlng into Bonds, and Pehalties to flint
liitnfelf CO ftidh a .partictilar foiall Stim at {day for the
fntore, which makes him but the more eagec, ahd
"^iiot' being able . to hdd out, lofes his Money again,

■ bad hisi'orfeit to booc ....

Dor. Ay, ay, a Gamefler will b« a Qpn^ir, Whilfl
Jiis Money lafts j and a Vfaoremaft^, whilfl Ms Vi-
gour. ..:-■ ■-..■...

Har. Nay, I have known 'em, wheh they ire broke
^and canlofenomore, keep a fumbling, with th6 5ox
-in their ijitidi to feol with JonLyy. aiid .hindec othar
Gamefters.

' ' Her. That had wherewith^ to.tnakeluAy. Stakes.
•- J*w. Well, Gentlemen, you may laugh at me, bat
you Ihall never lie with my Wife,' I know tfie.Town.
Hjt. But prithee,- was not the. wiyyoli;wete.inJ>et->
• ter, it not keeping better than Marriage ?
:■ Fik. A-Vo%oa'tf the Jades .wbd'd pic ms, I don'cl
never keep a Whori to my felf.- .t .

Her. So then you only marry'd ta keep a Whore to
-your felf ^ wellj.bnt lee nie.ttilyou, Womtp/SLs you
fay, are like Souldiers, made conflant and loyal 1^
good pay, rather than by Oachsiand^Gbrenantsj there-
fore I'd advtfe my Friend^ to heeprathe;- than marry;
•'^ince too I find by your Exflmt^o, . icdoefr not ferve
one's Turn, fori faw you yefterday in the eighteen-
-penny Place with a pretty Country-wp,ni;h,. .

Pin. How the Devil, did he fee my Wife then? I

face there that (he might not be.feen ; ,bpt fhe Ihall

never ^oib a Play again. - ,,. / .{^AfiJe.

Hor. What doft thou blufli at nine and forty, for

h^»ingb*enfeeri With a W^ncH? ' . ' '■ ■ ■ '

■ Dor. No, faith, I warram.,'iwa5 his'Wife, which
hefeated there out of Ught, for he's a cunning Rogue,

tahd underlfendsthe Town. . ; --^ -"

Uat. Hh bkilhes, then 'twas hij Wife ,■ for Men are
-now more ftfhamed to be feeh with them In publick,
'4han' writhe Wench. /■-■ t- ■ „■

Tin. Hell and Damnation, I'm undone, fiqpe Msr-

her has feen her, and they know 'twais fiie. {J.fJe.

L z . Her. J3u'

146 tU GawtiyWife.

Uar. Btit prithee, wjttkiliy Wife? Aetraseruei-
itigfy {xtttj ; I ^as iti Ijvvb with he^ «c ttec di-
flanoe.

Pa. Von bre like oevcr ta be nearor te W. Yaar
Servant Gentlemen. {^^ '^ £*•

lifer. )liay» priohee flxy.

2^ I oiatiot, I wiU not.

Hot, CooKj you fliall dine with ns.

i2^. I iTwb dm'd already.

9lsr. Gome^ I JEiRTfr cboH haft iiot<j til tpoatthee
dear R«iguQ, -cbou iJfaa^ "ipmi. ifcKO (^ tl^ Wnh^i^e
Money to day.

Pnt. Tre^t hie ; ib 4ic nfes me kActatfy^kb "kk Cuo
iB^ld. i-sffiJe.

'H«r. vNay, yi6u flan «ot g<K

Fife. lanifi^ I have !Bc>iiners«thome.

^ar. TobtotliisWife, he'sat jealous of Jier, as a

Cbeaf^ Husband of zCvvemigarJtn Wif&
fibr. Why, Ms as hard to nnd an old Wboremifler

trithout /eatoillie snd cbe'Qom, mz.yorxng^oti&mix^

<Jut Fcftr or the Pox.
As Gottfin Agb, fcom Pox in Youth ^ooeede j
So Wenchingp^ then Jealoalie t&ccccdt t^
The woiftDi{eac& that Loveond 'Wenching 4»ecdi. *

ACT n. SCENE I,

Mrt. Margery Pinchwife, and Alithea : Afr, Pia«h^

MK.Tia.T^Kiy, Sifter, where are the beft Fields
X^ and Wood^ to walk in, in LtitJm'i
Alith. A pfetty-Quefiion i why Sifter 1 A^nlbtrrfGrn--
Jm, and St. James's Park i and for dole walks theiNilii'
Exchaxfge,

■ ■ - M,n>.

D,i,z.:;,L.ooy[i:

7%i Coumtry-tVife. t^y

I4fs.K». ftay. Sifter, teJl tne why my Husband

looks fo gram here in Town ? and keeps me W Co

ctefc, and will not let ma go a walking^ aorlec

me wear my beft Gown yefterday .*
jimk O h*'s jjealow, SiCter.
Afr». Tim. Jealous, wtm*^ tKar ?
Alki. He s afraid yea ftou*d tove anochQr Man»
JUn. fin. How^ ihou'd h» be afrakl of my lorkie

moilier Man, when he vnUl noc let me fee any bw

^lith. Did he not carry yoo yeflerday ta a Way ?

A^s. Pim. Ay, ,b»t wo fate amoneft ugly People j
he woM'd not let me corns near tne Gentry, who
fite under us, (b that 1 cou'd not fee 'om ; He told me
aone bnt naughty Women fate there, whom thw tous'd
and monsM ; but I wou'd have rentur'd ibr all i»at.

jiRtk Bat bow did you like the Play >

Mrs. fin. Indeed I was weary of the Play, but I
lik'd hQjeouIly the A^on ; they are the gQodlleft
properenMen, Sifter.

Jliti. O but you mull not like the Adors, Sifter;

JM-i. fin. Ay, how Oiou'd I help it Sifter ? Pray,
Sifter, when my Husband comes in, will yon ask
leave Mr me to go a walking ?

Aliti. A walking, luih, ha ; Lord, a Cotintry Gen-
tlewomans pleafore is the drudgery of a Fopc-poft j
and Die requires as much idriDc as her Husband's
Horfcs, [^.

Btter. Mr. Pinchwife to tbtm,

Bnt here comes yonr Husbaitd j Fll ask, though
Fm fare he'll noc ^9at it.

3^s. fm. He fayi he won't let me ^o abroad, for
fear of catching the Pox.

AUtb. Fie, the fmall Poi yott flion'd f^y.

Mn.fin. Oh my dear, dear pod, welcome lumte:
why ^oft thou look fo fropifli, who has nanttr'a
thce^

L } Mr. Via,

148 TbeCftHftry Wiff.

> Mr. fin, yop-rp aFopt {A*/, pinch; yoe>

-, , .,' - aj$de,a^d critiy

: Aiitb. t^ith & (he is, for ccying .fpr no fault,
poor tender Creui^re \ -, - - . ?

Mr. Pin. What, you wou'd have her as iqipudent as
yoar felf, as erran^a , JUflirt, aQadder, a Magpj^
ZD^.to,'€iy allj. a iqeer, notqrious Town- Woman ? ',
, -ykl^i'. brother, you . are my only Cepfurer,- and
thp ^lonour of your rpamily fhall Toonv funer \i^
your Wife there, than in tne, though I take tl^e inno^
centlibecty of th^Town.

. ATr. P;». Hark ypu Mlftrefs, do not talk fo before
^y.,Wi|e,. th^ innotjppt Liberty of the Town I ,'
l::i^^i ^^Yi.'P^^j whoboafts pfqny Intrigue with
pie ^_ Yk*f La/iipoon has made my IjJarne notorious 3
what, jMl;;Woinen frequent myLodg*pg?? .Ikeep^ no
Company wick any Wotncn of fcaiidaloqs llepqtations.
7 .^.Pin./Ho, you keep the M§nof fcandalops Re-
putations Company. . , . ^

'^/;>i6.' "Where ? wbu'd you not have me civil S ^-
fwei^ 'cm in a^Boxatche Plays? in the Drawing-
Ti^orq it-JViittftaU I i{i fit. Jamei's- Park i Mulberry-
' ffir^tp t h't—, — — :

"Mr. Pin. Hold, hcrfd, do no^ teaph my Wife, wh§r^
jhe; A^n arc. tjO ,1k fpund ? I believe flie's -^he worfe
fof j(OfH;,Xown-dpcaments alr^dy? IbidyoukeeR
Jicf 4«. jgnorang? a|i.J,dQ-

jA^rt.Pin. Indeed be not angry with her B^dj ft?
will t^ll me nothing of the Town, though I ask hci
a thoufand times a day. ■ ,' '
Mr. Pin. Then you are very inquificive to know.

Mrs. Pin. Not t, indeed^ P^gr, I hate UnJof ; mj
Plf c%|io^fe in tb^-Cpuntry .is wprtb a thoufan^.of t,
wou'd fwere there again. ■ . . 1 ■

Mr. Pin. Soygg.'iHall Iwa?r^nt J but were ypi( not
tal^kii^ pf Playji, Mdi Players, iiyhen I canie in ^'/ou
irfC.l^ encour^er i»:fiy^ difqpUrfes. . ■ v

Mri. Pin. No indeeU, Dear, ihe chid" me jui^^JP.V/
for liking the Player Men,
■■ .\\ ■■■■ > ■ .'"■f/.I - ^...^^M:Pif

The Country^^tft. 149

'Mr. Tin. Nay, if flie hQ fo innocent as ^o own to me

ber iikiog diem, there is no hurt in't \_^ftJe.

Come my poor Rogae, but thou lik*it nqne. better
ifaeome?

A^t. Pin. Yes indeed, bat I do, the Player Men
»rc finer Folks.
- Mr. Pin. But ypu love none better than me ?

Mrs. Pifi.You are my own Dear Bud, and I know
yotiy I bate a Stranger.

■Afri Pin. Ay, my Dear, • you muft love me only,
and not be like the naughcy Town Vopen, who
only hate chair. Husbands, and love every Man elfe,
Jpye Plays, Vifirs, fine Coaches, fine Cloaths, Fiddles,
^alls. Treats, and fo lead a wicked Town-life,
, Mrs. Tim. Nay, if to enjoy all thefe things be a
"Xown- life, Lendonis not fo bad a place. Dear.

Mr. ?iit. How ! if you love me, you muft hate Lon-
^tn.

.. Alith. The Fool has forbid me difcovering, to her the
Pleafures of the Town, and he is now fetting her agog
upon them himfelf.

Mn-Fia. Bui^ Husband, do the Town- women lov©
the Player-men too ? ' ' ,

Mr. Pin. Yes, I warrant you.

• , J^i.Pin. Ay, I warrant you..

Mr. Pin. Why, you do not, I hope .^

Mrs. Pin. No, no, Bud j but why have we no Player-
fnen in the Country ?

Mr. Pin. Ha— —Mrs. Minx, ask me no more to go
to a Play.

Afri, Pia. Nay_, why. Love ? I did not care for go-
ing ; bat when you forbid m^ you make me as
'tV'ere defire it.
^ Miih. So 'twill be in ottier things, I warrant. ' \_ylJitU,

• Afri.Pin. Pray, let me goto a Play, Dearl '
Mr.Pin, Hold your Peace^ I wo*not. ' ■.

< Mrs>Pin. Why, Love} ■ .
. ^ Mr.Pin. V/hy, niteUyou.' ;'; ■ , .

.1 Jiisb. Nay, if he tell 'her, ibe'l! give hira more cgufe
to forbid ijer tliaq i^aie, ' ^ " ' ' l^l^Je.

"■," * "'1-4 . A^t.Pir

I JO , the (SentryWift.

Mrs. fin. Pfay, why, Dear ?

Afr. Tin. Firfl, you Hire tbe Aftora, JUkI tlw Qd-
lanrs may like you.

Mn. Tin. What a homely Country Girl? noBttdj m
^dy will like me.
" Mr. Tin. I tell you, yes, they may.

Mrj. Pin. No, no, yoti jeft—^»l won't beHOrtf you^
I will go.

Mr. Tin. I teU you then, that One of the lewdtfft
Fellows in Town, who law yoa there, told iiic he
was in love with you.

Mrs. Fin. Indeed I who, who, pray wfco wfts't .*

Mr. Fin. I'ye gone too far, and fllpt before t wa«
aware j how overjoy'<i (he is ! [.4fi^*

' iMrs. Fin. Was it any Haiuppiri GaUaitt, afiyof out
Neighbours ? I promile yoD, I ani b«hold4ng to him.
■ Mr. Pin. I promife you, yon lie ; fot he Woo'd but
ruin yoQ, as he has done hundreds : he has no other
love for Women, but that, fach as he, look otion
Women like Bafilisks, but to deflrby *em.

Mrs. Fin. Ay, but if he loves me* why fhould he
ruin me ^ anfwer me to thac : methlnks he Ihoa'd not,
I wou'd do him no harm.

u^lith. Ha, ha, ha.

Mr. Pin. "tts very well • but I'll keep him froni
doing you any harm, or me either. '

Enter Sparkifh and Harcourt.

But here comes Company, gee yon in, get you in.

Mrs. fin. But pray, Husbaad, is be a pretty Genji
tlcihah, that loves me ; ■

Mr. Pin. In Baggage, in. [7lr»^/ btrin, Jhats tht Jger.
Whatj all the lewd Libertines of the Town brought
to my Lodging, by this eafie Coxcomb! S"dedth-I'U
not fnffer it.^ ;

' ^dr. Here Harceurt, do you appro'yie my choice ?
Dearj little Rogue, I told you i d bring yoa ac-
quainted with afl my Friends, the Wks and -

[_Haxcovnf»lutaitr.
■ . Mr,T'm,

iA. Th. hy, ih«y fbHtl hfiow h«r, in well at yon
your felf wilt, I warrant you.

Sftr. TN» is Ottt of thole, my pretty Rogue, rtiat
we lo- dance tt yMir WeMing to morrow : and him
yoD maft bid welcoipe e?er, to what yon end t

Sptr. HarteitH how doft thoQ like lier, faith ? Kay,
Pear, do not look down ; I jhoold ham to haf e ft
yUft <rf nrifte otic of conrttenancc at anv thing.

Mr. Phh Ifoorftrfol !

8f0r. Tell nWj I fay, Harenirt, how doft thou tilre
her? thou haft flat'0 upOA her enough, to relblve
me.

Har. So Inftnltety w^, thit T coo'd wifli I bad a
Mtftrafs too, that nighe Sfet from ittt in nothing,
but her love and engagement to yon.

^tlh Sir, Mailer spMrkipi has often told me, that <
hit Acquaintance were all Wits and Raillienrs, and
now 1 (oaA it

Smt. No, 1^ the Ufiherfe, Madam, he Aoa not
railiy miw ; yon may believe him : I do aflbre you,
he is the honefteft, wonhieft, true hearted Gentle^
pian— *— A Man of fnch perfcd honour, he won'd
fiiy nocMng to a Lady, he does not mean.

M'. Pin. PtalfiDg another Man to his Miflrers .' '

Hmt. Sir, you are lb beyond espedacion-oblt^'ng^
that . -

Spar. Nay, I gad, I »m fure yon do admire her
extremely, 1 fee t in your Eyes.— —He does &S-
Bure you. Madam.— -^y the WorJd, don't you ?

Har. Yes, above the World, or, the moft Glorious
part of it, her whole Sex : and till now 1 never
thought I fltou'd have envied you, or any Man about
to marry, but you have the beft excnfc for Marriage
I ever knew.

jllirb. Nay, now. Sir, I'm fatisfied yoii are of the
Society of the Wits, and Railtieurs, fince you can-
not fpare your Friend, even when he is bat too
civil to you i but the foreft fign is, fince you are an

Enemy

If* The Ctmtry^mjd,

Enemy ^M^is^, for that I hear you hate as nncfi
asBufinefsor badWine. ■. , ■ i : - . ,; r_
,. flar. Truly, Maidam, I wm oeicej' an Enemy . to
}hl^nage^ till now, becauf^ Mftoi^gft was never, am
pn^nty to me before. ,,;,-: '.^ ;. , .; ■.,./

Alitb. But why, Sirj is Marriage an Enentyra
you now? Becaufe it robs you ci yi»ut ¥tienc| here;
for you look -upon a Friend ni^rriedja^, one- gone
into a MonaSeryj, that . is dojid to the World., . f

Har. 'Tis indeed, becaufe you : nnrjry hiip ;- 1 -fe«
Madam, yon can gnefs my meatiiug^ I do coofefs
heartily and openly,, I w^ it «tere in tny power
jobreaktheMaech, byHjaygoil.wos'd' ; ; ■ '

Sfar. Poor Frank \ , .

, ,4^ti). Wou'd y^* be ioTiakindtp pi<j? ' -

^*r..No, po, 'tis no^ be(;apfe X wow'd be.:UiiJ^itid
to you. .-J

Spta-' Poos frtitjj^t pp gad, 'tis oiUjr hb jcind^els
f:o,Jne. .■ .- ■ -- ,; ".„,;. ;„. , . ■ :

Pitt. Great (clndnefs to you indeed ; ipfepiible Fop^
iec a )4an make k>ve to hUliV^f&toJh^stace. [4i?</e.

5fMr. Come dea^ MrMiJt, (pr all my Wiie there, cbv
ftali be, . thou ihall enjoy me fomecimes dear Rogue ;
Jjy my Honour, y^e Men pf Wic.Qsadole ior.our
deceaied Brother in Mamage, as ^i^uch as for.onjQ
dead in earnefl, : I thiifk t^ was prettily faid of
me, ha, fAircMrf f ;— 7y--P.ut.coipe frinfii be pot
ihelanchoiy for me. ' -

. Har. No I afluce jou, . { am oyt melancholy /or

you.

Sfar. Prithee, fratifi y-dott thinjji piy Wife that Hial}
be there a fine Per^n ? ^ -. ■ ■ . .

Har. I cou'd £a^e.}i|M9n.he^,,till I becam^ as blind
AS you are.

5^r. How, as 1 am ! how !

Har.. Becaufe you are a Lover, and true Lovers ire
J)!ind, flock blind.

Sfar. True, true j but by the World fiie has Wit
too, as well as Beauty,; gp, go with her into a corj
ner, and try if {he has. Witj tJilH to i^y,any thnjg^
fl)e's_balhfal before me.' ' ' \'.J$au\a.-

. : ^dr. Indeed if a Voman wants Wit in % qdmer, flie

has it no where. -;

Mitk Sir, yoD difpofe of me a litde before yooc

time [Aftde to SparJtifti.^

Sfar. Nay^. nay. Madam let me have an earneft of

your obedience, or— go, go. Madam — • ,^

[Harconrt courts Alithea afidil
Tin. How, Sir, if you fare not coacern'd for tjio
faoiioiir of a .Wife, 1 am fqr that of a Sifter ; he
Iball not debauch her : be a Pander to yonr own W^#
^ng Men to her, let 'em make love before your
Face, thruft 'em into a corner together, then leaV0
'em in private I is this your Town wit and condu^j'

Sfar. Hah, ha, ha, a filly viTe Rogue, wou'd makia
one .lau^ more than a flaik Fool, ha, ha j I fh^
burft. Nay you Ihall not diiturb 'em ,' I'll yex thee*
by the World^ {Stri^Us with V\a,Q\\.ti keep bim

from Harcourt 4nd Alith»
'Alitb. The Vritittjp;s are drawn. Sir, Settlemeoci
piade J 'tis^ too late. Sir, and paft all revocation.

Ifar^ Then fo is my death. . . ■ 7

. , AUtb. I w«u'd not be unjijft to him,

iIir..Then why to me fo ?<
. AUtb. I have no obligation to you*

Bar. My love.
; i4toi. Ihad his before. , . -■■ .

Hjr. Yon never had ic ; he wants you fee jealoulic*
tibe only infallible fign of it. .

Alitb. Love proceeds from eAeem ; he cannot diftruft
my Virtue, befides he loves me, or ho wou'd not
matry me,

^ftr^.MaTFyingyou, is no more (ignof his love;
than bribing your Woman, that he may marry you,
is a^Sgi^of hisgeuierolity: Marriage is rather a fign
of Im^reft) {ban Love ; and he that marries a Fortunei
covets aMiftrefs, not loves her : But if you take Mar**
fiagefor a fign of Lover, lake it from me immediately.
; Alitb, No* npw-you have put a fcruple in my Head ;
botjii^otc^ ^rj to^nd ot^r-dilpute, I muft marry
Eiiii, my K£pucat)en wou'd fu%r in thf World elfe.. ..

J54 ^^ Ctmntry-lVifk.

{2tfr. No; if yoQ da marty \an, wkh yem pardon^
Madam, your Reputation fuffers in «h© Warki, ud
^ou woa'd be thoegfai in ncccffiiy for a Cloak.

Atith. Nay, nawyou arerudCjSir,— — Mf.S^ii^,
^y come htEher, yoar Fciand here is very imibkiboi,
aoil very \tfna^.

Bar. HoU, hold,. \_Sds to Alichea.

Mr. Tin. D'ye bear ^e ?

Star. Why, d'ye think 111 feetn to be jcklou, liha
s country Bumpkin ?

Mr. fin. No, rachex be a Cuckold, like a ondQloos
Cit.

Mh^ Madam, you wov'd not have been fi> Jinte
generous as to have tol^ bin.

^i«&. Ye^ Itnce you coa'd be fe Utile, generous,
as to wrong him.

Hat. Wrong him, no ViAn can do'c, be's beneath aa
Injury ,* a Bubble, a Coward, a fendefs Idiot, a Wretch
fo CMitemprible to alt the World boi you^ tkat-*"^

^tAft Hold, do not rsil at him, for lince he is Ilka
to be my Husband, I am refolv'd no like him : Nay,
I think I am oblig*d to tell him, yoa are not bt$
Friend. Matter Spariijh, Matter Sjtarkijh.

Sfar. What, what ; now dear Rogue, has not {he
wit?

Har. Not fo much as I thought, and hoped Ihe
bad. [Sftthfiffkij.

Alith. Mr. Sparkifl}, do - yoa bring Peo[uo to rail ai
you?

Har. Madam——

Sfar. How! no ; buc if he does rafl at me, 'tis but
in jeil I warrant > what we Wits do for ope aiMMber,
, and never take any notice of it.

jilitb. He fpoke fo fcurrilouSy of yoa, I had no
patience lo hear him ; befides he has beca making
love to me.

Har. True damn'd tell-tale- Woman. LAfiJtt

Sfsr. F&aw, to Ihew his Parts— —we Wits rail and
make Iofc often, but to ihew oar Parts ^ as we have
no ifUAioaS) fo we have no malice, w o

AUtL He

The CMMriWiJe. «fS

jtiipf "Bh &id you were a Wi-eub, below aainjury.

Smme. Pft»w.

Hot-. Damn'dj fenflefs, impuileDt, Titraous Jade;
«v«ll 4occ flie won't let me btrt her« Acll do as
fMd, ArII make rae bate heii,

aHlfrk A otmoMa Bubble.

A«r. POnw.

itiM. A CevNKd.

Sfmt. PlhaiK, Pifliiw.

Jm. a TeaOifi d{i««lii|g Miot.

,^p«p. Howy ilid lie difparige n; PAits^ Nay, <^ieo
•ny HiMio«r% OMK)idn!i'<d, 2 can't pat ^p«hac. Sir { kf
the Vorldj Brother help me to kill hia^ <1'«^
draw now, fince we hare the odds of him:- — 'tis
ag»odOeciirieatQobefeiiemyMtfU»f3) {_Jjidt.

\_Off'trtto dr»w.

Alitb. Hold, hold.

Sfor. Wbat, wh«.

AlUh. ZmaftAM'^'enkaitfae^mlenu neither,
for his Kindnefs to me ; I am fo far >ft«m hadq^ Um,
c)wtIwUb«y<3ftHaM had bis PoiiTm and Under-
fianding: — —
(Nayif my Honour— — [4/W<.

Sftr. m be thy Death.

Jviib. Hold, facU, indeed to tell the Truth, - tbc
Oeadenaoiflld iriter all, ttofwhat he fpeke, was Inic
oDt of Friendlliip to yoa.

Sfar. Howl fi^, -lamjIamaFoolytfaatisnoWit^
oor of Friendfbip to me.

Mitb. Yesji to try whether 1 waiconcemM anongh
for yon, and -made Lore to me only to )k fausfy'd of
ay- Virtue, for your lake:

Ar. Kind bcwerer • {Jfide.

Nay, if it wore to^ toy dear Kognb, 2 ask dse
'pflfdbnj but wlff^ wou'd«ot yoa teirme fo, fu&.

Htr. Becanfe I did not think on't, faith.

2!^. CesM, H$ntr don not come, Biircemt Jet's
bcgpiiot»-thc-JiBW.Pla y ^' ■- ■Come, tiltadaro.

D3„... Couple

h$6 the Ciitut>y-ti^e.

-■ A^tS.l will not go, if ]fou iotend to I^^ifr me

alpneiii the Box, and ran into the Pfc, as-yon ufe

•to to,

' Sf«tn Pfhsw, I'll \cvrcBarcourt with you In the'Bol,

to entertain you, and that's as good ; !f I fate-in tbe

£ox, I fiioQ d be thought no Jadge, but c^ Tcitn-

mings.— — Come away Harcourt, lead her dow/i.

[ Hxrant Sparki/h, Harcbort, «ii<^ Alithea.
Tin, Well, go thy ways, for the Flower of the true
Town Fopsj luchasfpedd their Eftates, before they
tome to erri, and are Cuckolds before they're thar-
i-ied. But let me go look to my own Free hold— ^
How— — ^ >

Enter mj Lady Rget, mfirifi Dainty Fig«t, and . ■■
li£firifs Squeamilh.

La. lid. Your Senrant, Sir, wher<i iS yoir 'Lady t
! We are come' to wait upon Ktir to the new Play.
titt. New Play !

La.-Fid. And my Husband Will waft uponyou-pre-
fently.

•v Kb. Damn your Civility—— — ' ^jifide.

Madam, bynomeans, Iwillnotfee Sitjaf^ef here,
^'cill I have waited tipon htmat itoitia j nor^allmy
^Wife fee you, 'till /he has waited ufJon yoor Ladyfh]t»
at your Lodgings.

. Z». JPi^. Now we areherej -Sif-— — *i- '■ ■■ ■
Tin. No, Madam. t^ .

; ■Darn. Pray, let us fee her. • ■ V.

- S^tttdm. We-willnot ftir, 'tiU'we fee hetJ ' ■

Tin. A Pox on youall-:— (^yy«.) "'rfeMVto
• ■ - -. .-tSeDoir, And'returns.

tlhehaslotk'd the Door, and ic^one' abroad^ .■'^■-
La. Bd.' No, yott have lock'd the Doofj ^attd^'lbs's

within. .:.'■':-■ '-'i. .:.".

' ^ DiuH, They tdd as below, fhe was herei ' • ' * "

Fix. [ waiflothing do^-r-*— Wetl iP^mtKk bat
' then, jb tell yoa the Truth, Ladies, which I was a-
JfraidCD let you know before, left it might endanger

your

rijeCountryWife. iff

youif "Lives, .'ihjj ttrife has" juft now the -fmall Pox cohie
out tipon her, do not be frighten'd j bat pray, be gono
Ladies, you l^all not. ftay here in dagger of ypot
Ijyesi pray g'et yon gone Ladies. '

■ £* jR^/NO, no; we have all had'ein.

5jM«m. Alack, alack! ^ < - .. .

' I>ain. Come, cbqie, wemafll fee how h gOes Witli
lier, 4 undcrftand' the Kfeafe. * ■ f

La. Ftd. Come.

"Pin. Well, ihere'isno being ioO hard for Womeii
at their own weapon. Lying, therefore I'll qiik the
Field. * ' (:Afiie.) [£*;>Pinchwiffc

Squeam. Here's an Example of |ealoufie:

La. FiJ, Indeed^ as the World goes, I wonder there
are no more jealous, fmce Wives are fo negleded.
- Dain. Pftaw, as the World goes, to what end ftou'tj
ithey be jealous ■?'■
■■ £,a.Fid. Fob, 'tirfanaftyWorld.
, 5^«Mm. .That. Men of Parts, great Acquaintance,'
and C^ualinr; fliou'd take up with, and fpend them-
selves and^ortunes, in keeping little Play-hoirfeCrea-
turtr, fob.'

' La. Fid. Nay, that Women of underftanding, great
Acqaai;itance, and good Quality, ihou'd fall akeepi,
jfigtoo of little Creatures, fob.

■ Sjiww. Why, 'tis the Men of Qualities Fault, they
hevcr-vifit Women of Honour, and Reputation, as
they ns'd to do ,• and have not fo much as common
Cifillty, forLadies of our Rank, but ufe us with the
fame Indifferency, and ill Breeding, as if we were att
marry'd to^em.

La. Ftd. She fays true, 'tis an errant ftiame Womeft
of Quality fhou'd be fo flighted j methinks, birth,
birth, fliou'd 'goffer fomething j I have knownrMea
admired,. courted,,and followed for their Titles only.

Stjuiam. Ay*,' one wou'd think Men of . Honour
ftou d nor love no more; than marry out of cbeirown
Rank. . .

:.„„.., Couple

iy8 ^ Tbe CMatry-Wife,

Vain* H»f fie upon 'eio» they arc come to tUaiE
crors breeding for theoi&lTcs bell; »weUas£»thdr
Dogs and Horfes.

Lm. Ftl Thejr are Do^ and Horfiis for'c.

S^iKam One wouM ttunk, if not fior Lok, for
Vanity a Httle.

t>.>in. Nay, tbey (lo iatUfie their Vanlt/ opov as
fometimes ; and are kind co ns iji ika^ Repor^ tdl
all the World they lie with qs.

La. Fid. Damnd Kaicals, that ve ihow'd tjeoflly
wroDf'd by 'em ; to r^oj-t a Mao has had a Perfoo,
when lie has not had a Perfonj is the greateA wcooc
in the whole Vorid, that cao be done to a PcHoo-

Sifutam. Wen, 'tis an errant Oiame, Koble Pei&iu
Ihou'd be fo wroog'd^ and neglet^ed.

La.Bd. ButftiU'tisanerranterihame for aNeble
PerfoDj CO negled her own Honourj flnd idefantc hec
own Noble Perfon^ wiih Jictle incon£dFr<bIe Fel-
lows, fob ! - '-

Vaia. I foppofe ths Crime agaioft our Hoooor, ii
the fame with a Man of Quality} as with another.

L. FiJ. How ; no fure, the Man of quality is Ukeff
one's Husband, and cherefoie the FauU fltou'd be the

Djin. But then the Pieafure fiiou'd be the Jefs. .

La.FiJ. Fie, fie, ^e, for Hiame Sifter, whither Aall
we ramble ? Be continent in your Dirooacfe, or I
fiia& bate you.

Daim. Belidcs an {ntri^iie is fb nuCb the more no-
torious for the Man's quality.

Stjueam. 'Tis true, no Body takes notice of a prJ*
Tate Man« aad therefore with hini, 'tis more fecret>
a&d the Crime's the lefs, when 'tis not known. , ,

Le.FU. You fayitnie i y faith, I think you are^ in
the right on'c : Tis nm an Ir^ury to a Husband, 'nil
it bean Xt^ury to«ur Honours ; fo that a Womau^
Honour ilofes no honour with a ptirate Petfiin ; vd
to fay Truth—

Dam. So the little Fellow is grown a private Fer-
fnn with her £ Afart te Squeam.

The CoHMtryWife: ij9

ta. Fi</. But ftill my dear^ dear honoor.

Emtr Sir /aTper, Horner, Dorilant.

Sr. Jaf. AYj niy dear, dear of hotioilr, thon haft
ftill/b much honour in thy Mouth < —

Bar. That (he has none clfewhere— — L4^
La. Fid. Oh^ what d'ye mean to bring la cheie up-
on UE ?

Dain. Foh, thcfe art AS Bad as Wlts.
S^utam. Foh I

La. Fid. Let US leave the Rooni.
Sr.Jaf. Stay, ftay. Faith to tell yon the naked
Tnith.

La. Fid. Fie, Sir Jafper, do ntit tife that word na-
ked.

Sr. Jaf. Well, well, in fliort I hare Burinefs at Whiti^
haUy and cannot go to the Play with you, thereford
wou'd have you go- — -

La. Fid. With thofe two to*a Play ?
Sr. Jaf. No, not with t'other, but with Mt.Homeri
there can be no more Scandal to go with hiin>
than with Mr. Tattle, or Matter Limherharh.
La. Fid. With that nafty Fellow ! no- "" no;
Sr. Jaf. Nay, prithee dear, hear me.

[ Whiff ert to Lady Flo.
Har. Ladies. [Horner, Dorilant drawing

mar SqaeaniUh and Daint;
Dain. Stand off.
Stiueam. Do not apptoach us.
Z>«ftr. You heard with the Wits, you are obfcenitjr
alt orer.

Squtam, And I wou'd as foon look npon a PiAure

of Adam and Evt, without Fig-leaves, as any of youj

if I cott'd help it, therefore keep off, and do noc

make us fick.

E^yr. What a Devil are thefe ?

Hv. Why thefe are Pretenders to Honour, as Cri-

dcks to Wit, only by cenftiring others j and as every

taw, peevift, out-of-hnmoui'd, affc^d, dull, Tei-

M drinking^

i6o The CoUHtry-Wife.

drinking. Arithmetical Fop fees np for a Vit, by tail^

ing at Men of fenfe, fo thele for Honotirj by railing

at the Court, and Ladies of as great Hononr, as

Quality.

Sr. J4- Cbme, Mr. iXn-nwrj I muft defire you to
go with thefe Ladies co the Play, Sir.

Hor. I! Sir.

Sr.Jaf. Ay, ay, come. Sir.

Hor. I muft beg your pardon. Sir, and theirs, I
will not be feen in Womens Company in publick a-
gain for the World.

Sr. Jaf. Ha, ha, ftrange Averfion !

S^ueam. No, he's for Womens Con^ny in pri-
vate.

Sr^Jaf. He poor Man — ^hel hah, ha, ha.

Dain. 'Tis a greater Ihame amongft lewd Fellows te
be feen in virtuous Women's Company, ihan for the
Women to be feen with them.

Her. Indeed, Madam, the time w.3» I only hated
virtuous Women, but now I hate the other too ; I
beg your Pardon Ladies.

La. Fid. You are very obUging, Sir, becaufe we
wou'd not be troubled with you.

Sr. Jaf. In fober Sadnefs he Jhall go.

Dor. Nay, if he wo'not, I am ready tovnlh upon
the Ladies j and I think I am the fitter Man.

Sr.Jaf. You, Sir, no I chaok you for that ■■ ' -
Mafter Homer is a privileg'd Man amongft the virtu-
ous Ladies, 'twill be a great while before you are fo ^
Heh, he, he, he's my Wive's Gallant, heh, he, hej
fvo pray withdraw. Sir, for as I take it, the virtuous
Ladies, have no Bufiners with you.

Dor. ^tii I am fure he can have none with them ;
Itis flrange a Man can't. come amoogft virtuous Wo-
men now, but upon the fame Terms, as Men are ad-
mitted into the great 7»>i's Seraglio ; but Heavens
keep me, from being an hombre Player with 'cm : but
yihattSsTintb-uiife [Ewf. DorHant.

Sr, Jaf. Come, come, Man ; what avoid the fweet
Ibdety of Woman-kind ? That fweet^ foft, gentle,

tame.

The Countrj-Wife. i6 1.

Csuiie, Jic^iCreatureWomanj made for Man's Conn
|>amon - - — —

Htfr. So is that foft, gentle, tame, and more noble
Creature a Spaniel, and has all their Tricks, caa
fawn, lie down, foffer beating, and fawn tbe more j
barks at your Friends, when they come to fee you ;
makes your Bed hard, gives you Fleasj and the Mange
ibmetimes : And all tbe difference b, the Spaniel's
the more faithful Animal, and fawns bnt upon one
Mafler.

Sr. Jaf. Heh, he, he-

Sijutam. O the rude Beafi;

Vain. Infolent Brute.

La. Bd. Brute \ ftinking mortlTy'd rotten French
Wcacheri to dare— —

St. Jaf. Holdj an't pleafe your Ladyfbip • for iharaci
!Mafter Hmur, your Mother was a Woman^ (Now
ihall I nerer reconcile 'em) {Jfidt.) Hark yon. Ma-
dam, take my advice in yoar anger,- you know, you
often want one to make up your droling Pack of Horn'*
fcre Players j and you may cheat him eafily, for he's
an ill GanieAer, and confequently loves play ; Be-
iides you know, you have but two old civil Gentle*
men ( with ilinking Breaths too ) to wait upon yoa
abroad, take in the third, into yonr fervtce ,■ the o-
ther are but crazy ; and a Lady Ihou'd have a fuper-
xiumerary Gentleman-UOier , as a fupernumerary
Coach-horfe, left fometimes you ihou'd bo forc'd to
itay at home.

La. Fid> Bat are you fure he loves playi and has
Money ?

Sr. Jaf. He loves play as much as you, and bat
Money as much as I.

La. Fid. Then I am contented to make him jay for
his Scurrility ^ Money makes up in a Meafure all o-
ther wants in Men— — — Thofe whom we Gann«
mak& hold for Gallants, we make fine. [ Afide.

St. Jaf. So, fi> J now (o molUfiej to wheedlo
him,-*-^ [_Ajidt*

Ma M»^

Mafier Hprser, «^I1 you never keep citU Compaay,
methinks 'tis time now, fince you are only fir for
chem : Come, come, Man you rauft e'en fall tovi-
fiting our ViveSj eating ac our Tables, dtinki:<g Tea
imcti our virtuous Relations after Dinner^ dealing
Cards to 'em, reading Plays, and Gazettes to 'em,
picking Fleas oat of their Shocks for 'em, colle(f);ing
Receipts^ New Songs, Women, Pages, and Footmen
for 'em.

Uor. I hope they'll afford me better Employment,
Sir.

Sr. Jaf. Heh, he, he, 'tis fit you know your work
before you come into your place } and fince you are
unprovided of a Lady to flatter, and a good Houfe
to eat at, pray frequent mincj and call iny Wife Mi^
ftrefs, and Ike (ball call you Gallant, according to the
Cuftom.

Hot. Who I?

Sr. Jaf. Faith, thou iha't for my fake, come for my
fake only.

Hor. For your fake— —

Sr. Jaf. Come, come, here's a Gamefter for yoD,
let him be a little familiar fotnetimes ; nay, what if a
little rude j Gamellers may be rude with Ladies, yon
know.

La.FtJ. Yes, lofing Gamefters have a Privilege
with Women.

Hor. I always thought the contrary, that the win-
ning Gamefter had moil Privilege with Women; for
when you have loft your Money to a Man, you'll lofe
any thing you have, alt you have, they fay, and he
may ufe you as he pleafes.

Sr. Jaf Heh, he,-lie, well, win or lofe, you fliall
have your Liberty with her.

La. Fid. As he '-ehaves htmfelf ; and for your fali6>
I'll give him Admittance and Freedom.

Her. All forts of Freedom, Madam ?

Sr. Jaf. Ay, ay, ay, all forts of Freedom thou can'fl
take, and fo go tp her, begin thy new Xmployment ;
wheedle her, jelt with her, and be better acquainted
one with another. tier, I

:.„.„. ..Couple

the Qomtry-Wife. x(>%

Sn-. I Ainki know her already, cherc&re may ven-
ture with her, my Secret for hers \_AfiJt.

[Homer, and Lady Vi^etvbifftr.

Sr.Jaf. Sifter Cdt, 1 have provided an innocent
Play-fellow for you there.

Dain. Who, he !

S^uetm. There's a Play-fellow indeed.

Sr. Jaf. Yes fure, wbaf, he is good enough to play
at Caivik, SiindmanV buff, or the Fool with fometimes.

S^ueam- Foh, we'll have no fuch Play-fellows.

ftw'ff. Ne, Sir, yon (han't chufe Play-fcllows for
us, wti thank yon.

Sr. Jaf. Nay, pray hear me. [ Whiffmng to tbem.

Ls, fU. But, poor Gentleraan, cou'd you be To ge-
nerouf ? So truly a Man of Honour, as for rtie faltes
of UE Women of Honour, to caufe your lelf to be
reported no Man ? No Man! and to fuffer yourfeif
the greateft Shame that cou'd fall upon a Man, diat
none might 1^11 upon us Women by your Conterfa-
lion; but indeed. Sir, as perfedly, perfeAly, the
fame Man as before your going into frimtt. Sir j as
perfcftly, perfe^ly. Sir.

/for. Aspeifedily, perieftly, Madamj nay, Ifcorn
yon fliou'd take my word j I defire to be try'd only,
Madam.

La. Fid. Well, that's fpoken again like a Mdn of
Honour, all Men of Honour defire to come to the
Tell : But indeed, generally yon Men report fiich
things of your felves, one does, not know how, or
whom to believe j and it is come to that pals, we
dare not take your words no more chnn your Taylors,
without fome ftaid Servant of yours be bound with
you j but I have fo flrong a Faith in your Honour,
dear, dear, noble Sir, chat I'd forfeit mine for yours
at any time, dear ^r.

Har. No, Madam, you Ihou'd not need to forfeit
it for me, I have given you Security already to fare
you harmlefs, my late Reputation being fo well known
. ia the World, Madam.

M I UnTii.

t64 The Country Wife.

ta. FiJ. Bat if upon any future foiling out, oc Qp
on a Snfpicion of my taking the Troll out of yonc
hands, to employ fome other, you your felf (hou'd
betray you Tnift, dear Sir ; I mean, if you'll give •
me le^c to fpeak obfcenely, you tnighc tell, dear Sir.

Hot. If I did, no Body won'd believe me j the Re-
putation of Impotency (s as hardly recover'd agiun in
the Worldj as that of Cowardife, dear Madam.

La. Fid. Nay then, as one may fay, you may Aq
your.worft, dear, d^arSir.

Sr, Jaf, Come, is your L^dyHiip reconciled to
him yet i have you agreed on matters ? for I maft
be gone to WbitehalL

La.Ftd. Why indeed, Sir Jaffer, Mafter H«wr is a
thoufand, thoufaod times 3 better Man, than I thpugbt
bim: Cozen S^ueamilb, Sifter Dainty, I can name
him now, truly, not long ago you know, I thought
his very name Obfcenity, and I wou'd as fooo hare
Iain with him, as have nam'd him.

Sr. Jaf. Very likely, poor Madan^.

Daln. I believe it.

Squtam. No doubt on't.

Sr. Jaf. Well, well that your Ladyfiiip is as vir-
tuous as any (he, 1 know, and him all the Town

knows hoh, he, hej therefore now you like him,

get you gone to your BuHnefs together ; go, go, to
yourBufmefs, I fay, Pleafure, whilfl I go to my Pl«»
lure, Bufinefs.

La. Fid. Come tljen dear Gallant.

Htr. Come away, my deareft Miflrefi.

Sr. Jaf. So, fo, why, 'tis as I'd have it.

{_E)eit Sir Jafpff.

Hor. And as I'd have it.

La.F,d. Whoforhis Bpfinefc, from hisWifertillrunj
TaKes the befi care to have her Bus'nefi done.
- lExtitntcpmi!'.

ACT

;,C.oogli: ■

Tbe CouHtryWife] i6%

ACT III. SCENE L

Alithea, and Mrs. Pinchwife.

jiUth. Qlfter, What ailes yon, yoa are grown melan^
^ cholv.

Mrs. Pin. Wou'd it not make any one melancholy,'
to fee you go every Day fluttering about abroad,
whil'ft I muil ftay at home like a poor lonelyj fullea
Bird in a Cage ?

jAlith. Ay, Sifter, but yoa came young, and jaR
from the Neft to your Cage, fo that I thought yoa
lik'd ic ; and cou'd be as chearful in't, as others that
took their Flight themfelves early, and are hopimig
abroad in the open Air.

A/rj. Pin. Nay, t confefs I was quiet enough, 'till
my Husband told me, what pure lives the London La-
dies live abroad, with their dancing, meetings, and
junketings, and drelt every Day in their beftGowns;
and I warrant you, play at Nine-Pins every day ot
the weekj To they do.

Enter Mr. Pinchwife.

Mr. Pin. Come, what's here to do ? you are put-
tiog the Town Pleafures in her Head^ and fetting hec
a longing.

. Mill)' Yes, after Nine-pins; you fnffer none t©
^ve her thole longings, yon mean, but your felfl

Mr. Pin. I tell her ai the Vanities tk the Town,
IHce a Confeflbr.

JUtb. A Confeffor ! Juft fuch a Gonfeffor, as he
that hy forbidding a filly Ofiler, to greafe the Horfe's
T6eth, taught him to'do't.

Mr. Pin. Come Miftref»R;M4»f, good Precepts are
loft, when bad Examples are {till before us j the Li-
l»ny you take abroad makes her hanker after it; and
out of^humonrac hctme, poor Wi«tch! fite defirednot
to come to Lendm, I wou'd btiog her.

■' M^ Mitb.Yeij

f66 The Country Wif*.

jm. Very well.

Mr. Pin. She has been this week in Town, and
never defired, till this afternoon, co go abroad.

^lith. Was flie not at a Play yefterday ?

Mr. Fin. Yes, but fhe ne'er ask d me ; 1 was my felF
the caufe of her going.

Alitb. Then if Ihe ask you again^ yon are the caufe
of her asking, sad not my Example.

Mr. Tin. Well, to morrow nieht I Iball be rid of
you J and the next day before tis tight/ (he and I'll
be rid of the Town, and my dreadful Apprehennons:
tome, be not melancholy, for thou &a't go into
the Country after to monow, Dearelt.

Jlitk Great comfort.

Mn. Tin. Pift), what d'ye tell me of the Country for?

Mr. Pin. How's this I what, pifb ac the Country }

Mrs. Pin. Let me alone, I am not well.

Mr. Pin. O, if that be all what ailes my deareft ?

Mn. Pin. Truly, 1 d^ t know,- but I hare not been
well, fitice you told me there WdS a Gallant at the
Play in love with me.

Mr. Pin. Ha

jitith. That's by my Example too.

Mr. Pin. May, if yoQ are not well, but are fo con-
cem'd, becaufe a lewd Fellow chanc'd to lye, and
fay he lik'd you, you'U make me Sick too.

Mn. Pin. Of what Sicknels ?

Mr. Pin. P, of that which is worfe than the Plague;
Jealoali^.

Mrs. Pin. Pi/h, you j'ear, Tm fure there's no foch
Difeafe in oor Receipt.book at home.

Mr. Pin. No, thou never tnet'ft with it, poor in-
nocent——: — well, if thou Cuckold me, 'twill be my
]pwa fault-r— foi^ Cuckolds and Baftards, are gene-
rally makers of their own fortune. l^fiJe.

Mrs,V%n. Well, but pray Bud, let's go to a Play to
Night.

Mr. Pi>. 'Tis jtift done, Ihe comes froin it j but
why ate you fo eager to fee a Play ?

Mn,F'nh

The C»iintty-Wife. 167

Mrs. Tin. Faith, Oflar, not that I care one pin for
^eir talk there j but I like co look upon the Player-
men^ and wou'd fee, if I con'd, the Gallaoc you fay
loves me ; that's all dear Bud.

Mr. Vin, Is that all dear Bud ?

Mitb. This proceeds from my Example.

Mrs. Vin. But if the Play be done^ let's go abroad
however, dear Bud.

Mr. Pin. Come, have a little Patience, and thon
fltalt go into the Country on Friday.

Mrs. Pin. Therefore I wou'd fee firft fome Sights,
to telt my Neighbours of : Nay, I will go abroad*
that's once.

^lith. I'm the caafe of this defire too.

Mr. Pin. But now I think on't, who, who was
the caufe of Homtr's coming to my Lodging 10 day ^
that was you.

Mith. No, you, becaufe you wou'd not let him fee
your handfome Wife out of your Lodging.

Mrs Tin Why, O Lord ! did the Gentlemiin come
hither to fee me indeed ?

Afr. Tin. No, no ; You are not the caufe of

that damn*d queftion too, Miftrefs Alitbta ? — r- [Welt
file's in the right of it ; he is in love with my

Wife— —and comes after her 'tis fo but I'll

nip his love in the Bud; left he ihou'd follow ui in-
to the .Country, and break his Chariiot- wheel near
our Houfe, on purpofe for an excufe to come tot ;
but I think I know the Town. i-^'

Mrs. Pin. Come, pray Bud, let's go abroad before
'tis late j for 1 will go, that's flat and plain.

Mr. Pin So ! the obftinacy already of the Town-
vife, and I muft, whilft fhe's here, humour her like
one. [Afidti

Sifter^ how fliall we do, that . fiie may not be foen,
or known ?

jilitb. Let her put on her Mask.

Mr. Pin. Ffliaw , a Masl^ makes People but the
more inquilitive, and is as -ridiculons a difguife, ac x
Sage-beard j her Shape, Stature, Habit will be known;

and

i68 The Country Wije.

and if we ihoD'd meet with Horner, he wou'd be
fure to take acquaintance with us, mufl wifh her joy,
kifs her, talk to her, leer upon her, and the Devil
and all ; no, I'll nut ufe her to a Mask, 'tis dangerous ;
for Masks have made more Cuckolds, than the beft
Faces that ever were known.

jUitb. How win yoti do then ?

Mn. Tin. Nay, fliall we go i the Exchange wiil be
Aut, and I have a Mind to fee that.

Mr. Tin. So — -I have it—: — I'll drefi her up ia
the Suit, we are to carry down to her Brother, little
Sat Jttmeti nay, lunderftand the Town tricks : Come,

let's go drefs her j a Mask I no a Woman mask'd,

Kke a cover 'd Difli, gives a Man Curiofity and Ap-
petite, when, it may be , uncover'd, 'twou'd turn his
Stomach ; no, no.

^/t;<&. Indeed yoniComparifon isfomething a greafie
one: but I had a gentle Gallant, us'd to fay, a
Beauty mask'd, like the Sun in Eclipfe, gathers to-
gether more Gazers, than if it ftin'd out. ^Extunt.

Tit Scene chants to the New Exchange .- Enter
Homer, Harcourt, Dorilan^

' Dor. Engag'd to Women, and not Sop with us ?

Her. Ay, a Pox on 'em all.

H*r. You were much a more reafonafele Man in
the Morning, and had as noble refolutions againft
'em, as a Widower of a Weeks liberty.

Dor. Did I ever think, to fee you keep company
with Women in vain ?

Hor. In vain I no. 'tis, fince I can't love 'em, to

be reveng'd on 'em.

Har. Now your Sting is gone, you look'd in the
Box amongfl all thofe Women, ^ke a Drone in the
Hive, all upon you j fhov'd and ill us'd by 'em allj
and thruft from one fide to t'other.

Dor. Yet he muft b% buzzing amongft 'em ftill,
like other old bjetle-iieaded, lycorilh Drones ,- avoid
'entj and hate 'em as they lute you^

fjfir. Be-

The Country-mfe. 169

Btr. Becaufe I do bate 'em, and woo'd hate 'en
yet more, I'll frequent 'em ; you may fee by Mar-
riage, nothing makes a Man hate a Woman more, than
her conflant Converfation : In ifaort, I converfe with
'em, as y:.u do wlch rich FooU, to hiugh at 'em, and
nfe 'em ill.

Dor. But I 'wou'd no more Sup with Women, nn-
lefs I cou'd lie with 'em, than Sup with a rich
Coxcomb, unlefi 1 cou'd cheat him.

Hot. *¥€£, I have known thee Sup with a Fool, foe
bij drinking, if he cou'd fet oat your hand that way
only, yoa were fatisfy'd ,■ and if he were a Wine-
fw^lowing Mouth 'twas enough.

Har. Yes, a Man drinks often with a Fool, as be
toffes with a Marker, only to keep his hand in Ure$
but do the Ladies drink ?

Hor. Yes, Sir, and I Hiall have the pleafure at leaS
of laying 'em flat with a Bottle ; and bring as much
fcandal that way upon 'em, as formerly t'other,

Har. Perhaps you may prove as weak a brother
among^'eni that way, as t'other.

Dor. Foh, drinking with Women, is -as unnatural,'
as rcojding with 'em ,■ but 'tip a Pleafure of decay'd
Fornicators, and the bafeft way of quenching Love.

Har. Nay, 'tis drowning Love, inAead of quenchiflg
it ; but leave us for civil Women too I

Der. Ay, when he can't be the better for 'em ;
we hardly pardon a Man, that leaves his Friend
for a Wench, and that's a pretty lawful call.

Hot. Faith, I wou'd not leave you for 'an, if they
wou'd not drink.

Dor. Who wou'd difappoim his Company at Liwis\
for a Goffiping ?

Har. Foh, Wine and Women good apart, together
as naufepus as Sack and Sugar : But hark you, Sir>
ibefore you go, a little of your Advice, an old maim'd
General, when unfit for Adion, is fitteft for Counfel;
I Jiave other defigns upon Women, than eating and
drinking with them : 1 am in love with Sferii^s
Miftref^ whom he is to marry to morrow, now how
^1 1 ^et her i Eiitr

170 tbt CHmtrj-mfe.

Eater Sparkilh, kvking about.

Uor. Why, here comes one will help yon to her.

Har. He I he^ 1 tell yoa^ is my Rivals and will
hinder my Love,

Hot. No, a foolifli Rival, and a jealous Husband aflift
their Rival's Defigns, for they are fure to make their
Women hate them, which is the hrit ftep to their love
for another Man.

Har. But 1 cannot com* near his Miflrefs, liut in
his Company.

Hbt, Still the better for yon, for Fools are mofl
eafily cheated, when they themfeWes are Acceifaries;
and he is to be bubbled of his Miftrefs, as of }»s Mo-
ney* the common Miftrefs, by keeping him Company.

Spar. Who is that, that is to bebubWed? Faith let
inefhack, I han't met with a Bubble fmce Chriftnias:
'gad, I think Bubbles are like their Brother Woodcocks^
go oat with the cold Weather.

Har. A pox, he did not hear all I hope,

[Afart to Horner.

Sur. Come, yon bubbling Rc^es you, where do

we Sap-r Oh, Harcourtt my Miftrefs tells me, you

have been making fierce love to her all the Play
kajg, hah, ha but I

Har. I make loTe to her ?

Sfor. Nay, I forgive thee j for I think, 1 know thee,
and I know her, but I am iure I know my felf.

Har, Did flie tell yoa fo ? I fee all Women are like
jhefe oithcExcbtrnge, who to enhance the Price of
their Commodities, report to their fond Cuftomers
O&rs which were never made 'ent.

Har. Ay, Women are apt to tell before the intri§iie>
as Men after it, and fo {hew therafelves the vainer
Sfex ; but haft thou a Miftrefs, Sfarki^ ? 'tis as hard
for me to believe it, as that ihon ever had'ft a Bubblej
RS yoa brag'd JTift now.

Spar. O, your Servant, Sir,- are you at yoor raHlcry*
Sir ? but we are fome of us bef .re-hand with you to
day at the Play : the Wits were fomcthing bold with voU)
Sir; did you not hear us Uugh ? HaT' Yes,

Har. Ya%, But I thought yoa bad gotrt to Plays,
CO laugh at the Poets Wir, not at your own.

Sfar. Youi Servant Sir, no I thank you ; 'gad I go
to a Play as 10 a Coumry-Treat, 1 carry my own
Wine to one, and ray own Wit to t'other, or elfe I'm
iiirs I fiioa'd not be merry at either ^ and the Reafon
why we are fo often lowder than the Players, is, be-
cauib we chink we fpeak more Wit, and fo become
the Poet's Rivals in his Audience : for to tell you
the Truth, we hate the fiUy Rogues j nay, ib much,
that we find fault even with their Bawdy upon the
Stage, whtlft we talk nothing elfe in the Pit as loud.

Hw. Bur, why fcould'ft thou hate the filly Poets, thou
haft too much Wit to be one, and they like Whores
are only hated by each other ; and thou doft fcom
writing, I'm fiire.

Sfar. Yes, I'd have you to know, I fcorn writing ;
but Women, Women, that make Men do all foolim
things, make 'em write Songs too ; every body does
it : 'tis ev'n as common with Lovers, as playing with
Fans ; and yoq. can no more help Rhyming to yoDr
Fbyllis, than drinking to your PhjUii.

Har. Nay, Poetry in love is no more to be avoided^
than jealonfie.

Dor. But the Poets damn'd your Songs, did they ?

Svar. Damn the Poets, they have turn'd 'em into
Burleique, as they call it ; that Burlefque is a Hetuf
TocH! trick, they have got, which by the virtue of
HiSius deSius, teffty tttrvey, they make a wife and
witty Man in the World, a Fool upon the Stage yoa
, know not how j and 'tis therefore I hate 'em too, foe
I know not but it may be my own cafe ; for they'll
put a Man into a Play for looking afquint : Their
PredecelTors were contented to make Serving-men
only their Stage Fools, but thefe Rogues mult have
Gentlemen, with a Pox to 'em, nay Knights ; and
indeed you (ball hardly fee a Fool upon the Stage,
but he's a Kni^^ht j and to tell you the truth, they
have kept me thefe fix years from being a Knight in
earnelt, for fear of being Knighted in a Play, and
dubb'd a Fool !>«■.

1 7 1 The Country Wife.

Dor. Blame 'em not, they muft follow their Copy;
the Age.

Har. But why ihould'il thou be afraid of being ia
a Play, who expofe your felf every day in the Play-*
hoQfes, and at publick Places.

Hot. 'Tis but being on the Stage, inftead of Handing
on a Bench in the Kt.

Dor. Don't you give Money to Painters to draw
you tike ? and are you afraid of your PiAures, ac
length in a Play-hoafe, where all youc Miftreifes may
fee you.

Sffar. A Pox, Painters don't draw the fmall Pox,
or Pimples in ones Face ; come damn alf your filly
Authors what-ever, all Books and Bookfellers, by the
World, and all Readers, courteous or uncourteous.

Har. But, who comes here, Sfarkifij ?

Enltr Mr. Pinchwife, and his Wife in Mant
Cloathtt Alithea, Lucy, her Maid.

Spar. Oh hide me, there's ftiy Miflrefs too.

[Sparkilh bidei bimfelf behind Harcourt.

Har. She fees you.

Sfar. But I will not fee her, 'tis time to go to Whiter
haS, and I muft not fail the drawing Room.

Bar. Pray, firft carry me, and reconcile me to her.

Si>ar. Another time, faith the King will have fup't.

Har. Not with the worfe Scomach for thy abfence ;
thou art one of thofe Fools, that think their attendance
at the King's Meals, as neceiTary as his Pbyficians^
when you are more troubleibm to him, than his
Dodors, or his Dogs.

S^ar. Pfliaw, 1 know my intereft. Sir, prithee hide
me.

Her. Your Servant, P«;ci6a'(/e,— what he knows
us not—

Afr. Pw. Come along. [To his Wife Aftdei

Mrs, ?iit. Pray, hare you any Ballads, give me fix-
penny worth?

Claff, We have no Ballad;.

Mrs. Tin.

D,l.i:;,.C.OO<^L'

The CoHHtry-Wtfe. i ^ ^

Mrs. Tin. Then give me Covent-GarJen Drollery,
abd a Play or two- — Oh here's Tarugos Wiles, and
the Slighted Maiden, I'll have them.

Mr. fin. No, Plays are not for your reading j com©
a-Iong, will you difcover yotir felf ? \_Afart to heri

Her. Who is that pretty Youth with him, Sfarki^ i

Sfar. I believe his Wife's Brother, becaufe he's fome^
thing like her, but I never faw her but once.

Hot. Extremely handfom, I have fefen a Face like ft

too' j let us foUow 'em. i Exeunt Ptndi. Airs. Pinch.

2 Alithea, Lucy, Homer,

/ r

; DoT^2ntfoSovfingtbm.
. Har. Come, Sparkifli, your Miftrefe faw you, and
will be angry you go not to her ; besides I wou'd
&in be reconcil'd to her, which none but you can
do, dear Friend.

S}>ar. Wei! that's a better Reafon, dear Friend, I
wou'd not go near her now, for her's, or my own
fake, but I can deny you nothing j for though I
have known thee a great while, never go, if I da
not love thee, as well as a new Acquaintance.

Har. I am obltg'd to yon indeed, dear Friend, I
woii'd be well with her only, to be well with thee
flill ; forthefe tyes to Wives ufuallydllfolve all tyes
to Friends : I wou'd be contented, fbe fliou'd enjoy
you a-nights, but I wou'd have yoU to my felf a-days,
as I have bad, 8ear Friend. *

Spar. And thou fiialt enjoy me a-days, dear, dear
Friend, never ftir j and I'll be divorced from her,
fooner than from thee j come along

Har. So, we are hard put to't, when we make oar
Rival our Procurer j but neither jhe nor herBrotbcrj,
wou'd let me come near her now : when all's done,
a Rival is the beft Cloak to fteal to a Mifirefs un-
der, without fufpicion ; and when we have once got
to her as we defire, we throw him off like other
Cloaks. , lA/ide.

CExffSparkiffa, and Hztcovtt ft^wing l^.

=.Qoogk

174 '*" Country-Wife.

Rt-tnttr Mr. Pindiwifej Afrj.Pinchwife h Mom's CUuhu

Mr. Pin. SiAer, if you will not go, we mud leave

jrou [roAlkhea.

The Fool her Gallant, and (he, will mufter up all the
young Saneerers of this place, and they will leave
their d..:ir Semttreffes to follow us ,■ what a fwarm of
Cuckolds, and Cuckold-makers are here? {_jtpt.

Cooiej let's be gone Miftrefs Margery.

Mrs. Pin. Don't you believe that, I han't half my
Belly full of Sights yet.

M-. Fin. Then walk this way.

Mri. Fin. Lord, what a power of brave Signs are
here? Stay— ^the Bull's-head, the Raoi'^head, and
ihe Stag's, head. Dear—

Mr. Pin. Nay, if every Husband's proper Sign here
were vifible, they won'd be all alike.

A^t. Pin. What d'ye mean by that, Bud ?
■ Mr. Pin. 'Tis no matter— —no matter. Bud.

Mrs. Pitt. Pray tell me ; nay, I wilt know.

Mr. Pin. They wou'd be ail Bulls, Stags, andRam^
beads. [ Exnmt Mr. Finchwife, Ms. Plnchwife.

ii«-eM;rSparkilh,Harcourc,AUthea,Lucy,«rr'0t^iii«r-

Sfar. Come, dear Madam, for my fake you fltall
be reconciled to him.

Alii^. For your fake I hate him.

Har. That's Ibmeihing too cruel. Madam, to hate
ne, for his lake.

Sfar. Ay indeed. Madam, too, too cmel to me, to
hace my Friend for my faice.

AlUk I hace him, bcc«ufe he is your Enemy ; and
you ooebt to hate him too, for making Lore to mc,
tf you Tore me.

Spar. That's a good one, I hate a Man for lonog
you i if he did love you, 'tis but wh« he can't help,
and 'tis your Fault, not his, if he admires you ^ I
hace a Man for being of my Opinion, I'll ne'er do't,
by the World. jiliik h

' The Ccuntry Wife. 175

' 'Alith. Is it for yourHonour or mine, to faffer a
■Man to make lo« to me, who am to marry jou to
Morrow.

Sp<ir. Is h for yoar Hoooilr or mine, to have toe
jeattnisf That he makes love to ygil, is t Sign you are
nandfo^e; and that I am not jealous, is a Sign you
are nrAious, that I think is for your Honour.

AUtb. But 'lis yoQr Honour too, I am concerned fon

Har. But why, deareft Madam, will yoH be more
concerned for tus Honour^ than tie is himfelt.j lethis
Honour ^one for my fake, aad- his, he, he, h^ no
Honour——

Sfar, How's that ■?

Har. But what, my .dear Friend cAn gusfrd himfelf.

Spar. O ho that's right again.

Har. Your care of his Honour argues hn negled of
it, ■which is no Honour to my dear Friend here j
therefore once more, let his Honour go which way ic
will, dear Madam.

Sfar. Ay, ay, were it for my Honour to marry a
Woman, whofe Virtue 1 fufpei^ed, and cou'd not cthA
her in a Friend's hands }

Alith. Are you not afraid to lofe/me ?

Har. He-afraid to iofe voh, Ma'Jam! No, ho— -
you may fee how the ruoli eAimable, . and moft glo-
rious Creature in the World, is valued by him j w^
you not fee it ?

Spar. Right, honed 7)-«tn£, X have that noble ralne
for her, that I cannot be jealcflis of her.

Alitb. Yoii miftake him, he means you care not
for me, nor who has me.

Sfar. Lord, Madam, I fee you are tealoas ; will
you wreft a poor Man's meaning from his words ? .

Mitb. You aftoaifh me, Sllr, with yom wane U
Jeatoulle.

Spar^ And you make me ^ddy. Madam, with your
Jeafoufreand Fears, and Virtue and Honour ^ 'gad,,J^
fee Vijcue makes a Woruan as-crqublefome^ as allttl*
reading, or leiarning. '

AUtl. Mo&ftrouj.',

* 7° ./ be coMHtry- Wtje.

Lucy, I Well to fee what •afie Husbaods <hefe Wo^
■men of Qaalitjr can meet with, a poor ChambcF
maid can never have fuclr Lady-like Liick : bcfides
he's thrown away upon her, (he'll make no ale of her
Tortune, her Bleffing, none to a Gentlemao, for a
pure Cackold, for it reqaires Rood Breeding to be a
Cuckold. ^ * \BtiU

Alitb. I tell you then plainly, he pucfues me to
marry me.

Sfar. Pftaw ■ ■ — * ,

aar. Come, Madam, yon fee yon ftrive in vam t»
make him jealous of me j my dear. Friend is die
kindeft Creature in the World to me. . -

Sfar. Poor Fellow,

Hlir. But his Kindnefs only is not enoBgh for me,
without your Favour ; your good Opinion, dear Ma-
dam, 'tis, that tnuft perfeift my Happiijefs ; good Geft-
tjeman he believes all t fay, wou'd you wou'd do fo,
jealous of me ! I wou'd not wrong him noi you for
fheWorld.

. Sfar. Look yon there ; hear him, hear hiib, and da
not walk away fo. [ Alithea walks careUJljj to andfn.

JXir. I love you. Madam, fo — '■

Sfar. How's that ! Nay-^now you begin to go
too far indeed. .

Bar. So much, I confeli, I fay I love you, that I
wou'd not have' you miferable, arid caft your felfa*
way upon fo unworthy, and incoofide'rable a thing,
as what you fee here. ,

[ Claffivf hit Hand an Bis Srtaji, points at SparkiUl-
' ■ Spar. Ko, Faith, I believe thou wou'dft not, no*
Hs meaning is pUiq ; but I knew be&»e thou wou'dlt
nbt wrong me, nor her.

■. Har. No, nO; Heavens forbid, the glory of her
Se^ fhou'd fall fo low; as into the Embraces of fncb *

comtemptiblc Wtetchy, the leaft of Mankind taf

dev Friend here-rl injare him. lEmln-aeingSpaikw-
'■ JlifL Very Well. ,

* Spar. No, fiO, dea'r Friend, I knew it: Madam,
yoq fee be will rather wrong himfelf .than me, in
giving himfelf fuch names. - ' '^Sti.Vo

Thi CauHtry-Wift: lyy

^lit^ Do not yoQ underftandhim yet?
. Sf». Yes, how modeftly he fpeaks of himftlf, poor'
Fellow. . ; r . .

jtiitb. Methtnks he fpeaks ifflpudently of your felf,
fince — ^before your fcif too j infomndi that J can
no longer fafier his. fcurriloos AbufiTene& to you, no
iDorechan his Love to me. {O^vitogt,'

Spar. Nay, nay. Madam, pray flay, his love co
yon : Lord, Madam, has h« iodc ipoke yet plain c-
nongh ?

jilftt. Yes indeed, I fliou'd think fo.
Spar; Well ihcn, by the World, a Man can't fpeak
civilly to a Woman t^ow, bat prefedtly Jhe fays, ho'"'
makes Love to her: Nay, Madam, yo«- fliall. ftay,
with your pardon, lince yon have not yet underflood
tvra, 'tjtl be has made an Eclaircifinent of hn Love'
to you, that is what kind of love it is j anfwer to thy
Catechifm : Friend, do you love my Miflrefs here i
Bar. Yes, I wifl) flie won'd nbt doabt iti
Spar. But how do you love her ?
Har. With all my Soul.

jiliih. I thank him, methiaks be fpeaks ^lain e^
noDgh now. ■

Spar. Yon are out ftill. [ Ta Alithca,

But with what kind of Love, Hareourt? >

Hat. With the beft, and the trueft Love in the World.

Spar. Look yon there then, that is with ho Matri-

mbnial Love, I'm fure.

Alith. How's chat, do you fay MacrtmoQuiI Love it
notbeil?

Spar. Gad, I went too far e'er I was aware : Bac
fpeak for thy felf Hareourtj you faid you won'd not
wrong roe, nOr her.

Har. No, no. Madam, e'en take him for Heaven's
r?ke.
Spar. Look yon there. Madam.
: fitfr. Who Ihou'd in all juftice be years, SCiapt bit bani
he that loves yoD moil. ImoittreaS,

. jilitb. Look you there, Mr. Sparkip, who's thai i
Spar* Who uou'd it be i go on Hartogrt.

. N * ...:,^;

178 The CifUtiyW^o:

Hot. Whdio^fs you Mom than Wdtas«a *Iitlw, oi*
Vaitivui VuBk. iVctutt *t Sptfk.

Sfar. Look you ihcK, he in.eans liie ftUl^ for tie-
tiplars It me.

JiitJh. Bi«cdbiH *

. jp*i. Ay.

-Hff. Who kao^s, if k tx ii*£W>, htnr to valaisf^
niDch fieanty and Vinue.
S/*r. Ay.

tftf<. Wlmfe Lov0 giti no mora Im ^aXfi ia tli6
Vorld, thai thiat HaancntyForttt ctf ywrrs.

fifiv. Vho oQiu'd no iMi* fti Af a Ktvrt, tlidii yoit»
Afa&nco, and yet oouM no nsrslM^cA yeurVir»»^
thtti his own Cpnllftncjr inhiii^m t6 yeu.

5>«r. yn> ■

Har. Who ift fine lows yMi b«tt«r than his Ey#s^
that firft made him !o»e y«u.

5^. Ay — nay. Madam, Fakh yoH (htini go, '«*!!•-«
■'jikik. Hawa can, l<ft yoti malMBK ftay tco long-^

Spar. Btn 'till he had faluted yon ; that I-lmy beaf-
foniyob are Friends, afcet- hU honcft Advice andPc
claration : Come pray. Madam, be FtlendGWitl^htai.

Enttr M^tr Piachwi£e, A£^refs Pischwife^ ,

'jilitb^ Yon moft pardon me. Sir, that I am not yee
fo obed4et» to yen.

Mr. Tin. What, invite your Wife to kifs Men ? Moo-
. Ibcus .' Areyoa not affMtn'd? Iwllt nevcr#»glreyipa.
'-^ar. Are you net aflMfn'd, that I OitHi'd hKw mom
Confidence in the Chaftity of yourftmiBy, tfeanyen
have ; you srvdk not teat;h m*, I am a Manof ho-
nour. Sir, though I am frank and free : I am franh.

Sir

JUr.Pm. Vejy frank, Sk, lo fhare your Wife with
yomr Friends.

Spar. 'Hen an humWc, meiMal ?ri*nd, foeh as re-i
Gondles the' DMWenets of th« Manriagft fiod $ you
.-. . y know

tU Cntt^fT^e: iff

£m« Mm ana Vife akiiinaltniyi agiW, I«M^
him for thit ai^ tkiicfon «aa'd km Htti wai i«ttli
my Wife.

ilfr.FJx. A nmU Fnud^^;^ will gat t gfftit
many menial Friends, by Ihewing your Wm di yon d^.

iS{p<r. Vine thta, it nay te | ti>«« < fteiTnrt in'c,
a> I han to Ae» Ate Citttilis, ft i Play-iiosfi! thb
£rft Day, and count Money before {MfDt RoKuti,

Mr. Tin. He tKai lliews hn ttV^, ef iSAef, Vvill
te id dangec of taring iMra tKURXtoid (bMNHusei.

S^«r. I love to be tHvy'd, and H'ou'd net ifaanry a
ViM, dwx I akma cOB'd tov« ^ loving atone ii as dall,
as eating alone J bit net afxAnlt Age, l)nd I'ain'a
&mk Ferfon ? And to tell you the Truth, it dlay bel
love to have Rivals in a Vile, they make he' feerti to a
Man ftill, but as a kept Mtftpcfe; and fo good ni^t,
for I muft CO ffiitih^. Madam, 1 hopt yott are Aow
MCBncH'd to diy Friend ,- and fo 1 wifh you 9 good
■uglit. Madam, and fleep if yoo can j for to morrotv
yon know i mud vUk yoa ntrly with a Canonical
GcBlleliMa. Oood night, deal Mi»MR. [£<iV3parklU.

Htr, Madam, 1 ho]se you win n«c mbfe my Vilit
to morrow, if it ihou'd be earlier with a Cantftileal
Gentleman, than Mr. Sfurkl^i i

Mr. fin. This Oemlcwoflkia I9 yM cnd^r HtV Cart,
ttmcfort you muft yet feriiear your Freedoih w«h hit.
Sir. [Ci«/i>2 bawMi Mtbta md Haretfuit,

»r. MnS, &ir — -^—

Afr.Pio. Yes, Sir, IheismySiftdr.

Htt. 'Xis wsU flu 11, Sir 'for I muS hi her Sei^

v«Bt, Sir, Madam-M<^

Mr. Tin. CoDfn nniy^cr, we bad been gone, if
it had not baen for you, and fo avsidea tWft lewd
Kakehells, who feam w bUMt as.

£i»ir Hsmer, DoilaM » tbm.

Hot, How now Vimhwtfi.

Mr.?iii. YoiirSec««K>

Ut. Vim, Ifcaalhtla time it (he Ceaifttiiii)^

^8o -ThiCtimtri Wife. \

,« Mafftuni wild and nnfoctable, and onljr fie to coit^
.Tufe ^irli. hU HofieSi Dogs, andhisUerdE.

Mr. Tin. I hare Borinefsj Sir, and muft mind ife j I
your Pnflnefs is Pkafore, therefoce yon in& I mnft go
different wayi.

Hot. Well, yon may go on, but this pretty young
(gentleman — {^Tslut btUtf MruVwiaxwif^, \

Har. The Lady

:, Dor. And the Maid-r—

Her. Shall ^ay with us, for I fuppofe their Bufinefs i
..is the fame with ours, Pleafore.
' Afr. Pin. 'Sdeatb he knows her, Ifae carries it lb fit-
lily, yet if he does mf,. I IhouM be fnore filiy to di£-
(Cpyer it firft. IjijU^

Mitb. Pr^Vj let us go. Sir.
/i^.Piu. Come, come— ^—
* Hot, Had you not rather flay with us?

ITo Mri. Pinchwifir,"
prithee Tinchwifty who is this pretty young Gentleman?

Adr. tin. One to whom I'm a Guardian.
[ I Willi I coa'd keep her out of your hands — \jifiJi»
Har: Who is he M never faw any thing fo pretty in
{lUmylife.

Mr. Pin. POiaw, do not look upon him fo much,
he's a poor baflifnl Youthi you'll put him out of Conn-
(enance. Com^ away Brother, [fiffirito taktkeraan^*
lUr. O yofir Brother !

M*. Pin. Yes, my Wife's Brother j o^e, come,
&e'll flay Supper for lis.

Her. i thought^ fo, for be is very like her I law yon

at the Play with, whom I told you, I was in love witb'.

Mrt.Pin. OJeminy! is that lie that was in loTe

lyitb roe, I am glad on'c I row, for he's a curious line

Gentleman, and I IpTC him already too. [JfiJIt.

Is this he Bud ? iTo Afr.Pinchwifc.

Mr. Pin. (iome aw^Vj come away. [ 2i iw ff^.

Hot. Why, what bane are you in ? why won't you

let me talk with him i

Mr. Pin. Bccaufe you'll debanch him, he's yet young
sadinnoce^, and I wou'd npt. hfiw. t^m debanch'd
ffyr a|iy thing in the Wo^ld^^ ,.. Honf

The CeitntryWife. .181

tetow flie gazes on him ! the Devil ^^ ^Jftdo

Her. Harcpurtt Dorilantj look yoQ here, this is the
} Xikeaefs of that Dpwdey he told ns of, his Wife, did
yoQ erer fee a lovelier Creature'? The Rogue has rea-
foQ to be jealous of his Wife, flnce flie is l^e him, for
ifae wou'd make all that fee her, in love with her.
' Har. And as I remember now, Jlie is as like him
here as can be.

Dor. She is indeed very pretty, if flie be like him.

H«r. Very pretty, a very pretty Commendation —
Ihe is a glorious Creature, bouitiftil beyond all things
I ever beheld.

Mr. Pin, So, fo.

Har. More beautiful than a Poet's firlt Miftrefs of
Imagination.

Her. Or another Man's laA \UftreG of Flefh and
Blood.

Mri. fin. Nay, now you jeer. Sir ; pray don't jeer
me

Mr. ?in. Come, come, f By Heavens, ihe'II difco-
Terherfelf. ^JJiJe.

HiT. I fpeak of yonr Sifter, Sir.

Mr. fin. Ay, but faying fhe was handfom, if lik^
him, made him blu/h. I am upon a wrack — {.4lUe.

Hor. Methinks he is fo handfom, he (hou'd not be a
Man.

Mr. fin. O there 'tis out, he has difcovered her, I
am notable to fuffer any longer. [Come, come a-

w^y, I fay {To bis mft.

' Hot. Nay, by your leave. Sic, he ffiall not go yet—
HarcoHTtf l>oriltfotf let us torment this jealous Rogue a
little. ITotbem.

Hor. I'll Ihew yon.

Mr. Pin. Come pray let him go, I cannot Itay fooW-
ing any longer; I tell you his Sifter {lays Supper for ufi

Her. Uo's ihe, come then we'll all go Sup with twx
jjnd (hcc.

N 4 Mr. J 'in.

x8i Th€ CoHMtry-ff^iM-

Mr. Pin. Ko, now I think OD'c^aviftg ftaid £t
long for us, I warrant (he's gone to PeJ-- — «
[ I wilh (he and I were well oot of cbeirhandt r

Come, I mnft rife early to moirov, come.

Hor. Well tfienj, if (he be gone to Bed, I wiffi her
and ypu a good night. But pray, young Genrleman^
prefentmy humble Service to her.

Mrs. Tin. Thank you heartily. Sir.

Mr. Tin. 'Sdcath, file will (Mfcovcr her &lf yetin
fpire of me. L ■4^-

He is fomething more civil to yoir, for your KitidDefi
to his Sifter, than I am, it feems.

Hot. Tel! her, dear fweet little Gentleman, for all
your Brother there, that you have revjv'd thcLovCj I
iiad for her at Brft (ight in the Play-houfe

Mrs. Tin. But did you love herindeed, anJ Indeed ?

Mr. Tin. So, fa , [v^^f.

Away, I fay.

Hor. Nay, ftay^ yes indeed, and indeed, pray do
you letr her fo, and give ber this Kifs &om me.

[ Kiffes htr,

Mr. Tin. O Heavens ! what do I fnfFer ,* now 'tis
too plain he knows her, and yet—— C-^d«.

Hor. And this, and this [.R'Jftt her ajrain.

Mrs. Tin. What do ybu kifs me for, I am no Woman.

Mr. Tin. So— —there, 'tis out. [ JfiJe*

Come, I cannot, nor will ftay any longer.

Bir. Nay, they fliall fend your Lady a Kifi too ;
here Harceurt, Dmlant, will you not.' \^^kty kifs her.

Mr. Tin. How, do I fuffer this .* Was 1 not accofing
another juft now, for this rafcallyPatience, in pet-
, mitiing his Wife to be kifs'd before his Face ? Ten
■ thoufand Ulcers gnaw away their Lips. {/ifittt'

^pome, come,

Hor. Good night, dear little Gentleman j Mattom,
jpod-night ; farewel Tincbwife.

I [ Did not I tdl you I woa'd raife bis jealous GaH ?

yD<ir;fa Harcourt, «»<^ Dorilant.
rner, H^pQurt| md Dorilanf.

7U Coitntn^W^ x%y

AA-. Tin. So, they are gone se laft ^ flay, Ut me fee

faff if the Coaeft be at dm dodr, J[|j«f.

Hpt. What not gpne rerf will yoube fiiR t^ <^ as I
ddriedyoiij fweet Sir?

[Horner, HHTCOtttt, DBri^t fffiim.-

jlifrj. Tin. Sweet Sir, but what will yoiVgiVeme then ?

/Or. Any chiog, come aw»y into the next waUi.

[Kxit Homer, baBing mvaj Mrt. Fiflck '

Jlifh. HoM, fcoH, what (fye rfo ? ^

iagr. Stay, ftay, hol d

Bar. Hold, Madam,, hold, let him pr^ent him, he'tl
come prelenrfy ; nay, I wUl iierer let yon go, till
you anfwer my Queftlon.

Laty. For GoiTs rake, ( Alith. txxcy ^Jtruu^g miti
Sir i rapft follow 'em fHarconrt,, «>«/ Dwilant.

Dor. Ko> I have fomething to prefent you with too^
you fiian't follow them.

Finchwife returns.

Jfe&-.pa». Where? how^—whaf's Become of ^

gone— ^whither ?

Lucy. He's only g6ne. with the Gentlemen, who
win ^re him fomething, an't i^teafeyourWorAip;.

VW. Fin. Something give him (omcchihga wiA

a Pox— where are they ?

jilitb. In the next walk ofily, Brothec.

Mr. Via. Only, only j where, where ?

C Emt ^chwife, gnJ retww
C p'tfenth t thai gfitb out agMti.

Bar. What's the matter with bim. ? why fo much
concem'd i but deareft-Madamr— —

AUtb. Pny lee ate go. Sir, I hare faid^ and (ai!er*d
enough already.

Har. Then yoa MriU not look upooy aor pity mjf
fu£ferings?

Jiitb. To todfr upon 'em, v^en I cannot heTp "emj
were cruelty, not pity, therefore I will nerer fee you
more.

.C

k")o<^!fc

1:84 .. Tk'e' Cotmtry-Wije.

"- Har. Letme then. Madam, hare my privilege of

% barnflied I^rer, complai&ing or railing, and giving

yon buc a Crewel Reaibn ; why, if yoa cannoc pon-

defcend to marry me, you Jhou'd not take chat

Wretch nw Rjval.

- AUtb. He only, not you, iince my Honour is en*

eag'd fo far to him, can g^ve me a Reafon, why I

Ston'd not marry him ; but if he be. tfae, and what I

think him to me, I mufi be fo to him j your S6r^

rant. Sir.

Har. HaveWom^Qonlyconfiancy when 'tis a Vice,
and are like fortune o^ily true to Fools ?

Dor. Thou Iha't ^Qt utr thou robufi Creature, yoa
fee I can deal with yon, therefore you Hiou'd fiay the ra-
ther, and be kinj3, \To Lucy, who firuggles m get from iim,

Enttr Pinchwife.

Mr. Tin. Gone, gone, not to be found j quite gone,
ren thoufands Plague^ go with '1^ i which way
went they.

Mitb. But into^ t'other walk. Brother.

Lucy. Their bufinefs will be done pfefently fure,
an't pleafe your Worlhip, it can't be long )n doing
Fm fare ont.

jtUtb. Are they nop there ?

Mr. Pin. No, yoti know where they are, you in-
bmoui Wretch, Eternal ihanie of your Family j^which
you do not diftiOnour enough your felf, yon think, but
you muft help her to do it too, tl^q.]Le^on of Bawds.

Alitb. Good Brother.

A&. Pin. Damn'd, damn'd Sifter.

Atitb. Look you here, fhe's coming.

Evter Si£firefs Piochwtfe in Man's Cloatbi, nmntng vhb

^ her Hat under her arm, fkS of Orangti and dri«d fruii

Homer folkving,

Mrt. Tin. O dear BuJ, look yon here what I harft
£oc, fee.

^ Mr.?in.

the Cotmtrj'tVife, 185

zir. Pin. And wfaat X have got here too^ which yon

can't fee. CifiJe, ''tuhbi»g bit forehead.

Mrt. Pin. The fine Gehtleman has given me becttijr

thingE yet. . -

Mr. Pin. Has he fo? [Oat of breath and colonr'd— •

J moft hold yet. l^fiJi.

Nor. I have only given your little Brother aiti

Orange, Sir.

Mr. P». Thank ypn. Sir. [To Horner.

-You have oiily fqaeezed my Orange, I fuppofe, and
^ven it me again; yet I muft have a Cityr
patience. [JfiJe

Come, come awayi——— [Tohitffife.

Mtu Pin. Stay, till I have put up my fine things,
pad.

Enter Sir Jafper Fidget.

Sr.Jaf. O Matter Horner^ come, come, the Indies
.flay for you i your Miflrefs, my Wife, wonders yon
make not more hafte to her.

Her. I have ftaid thb half hour for you here, and
-(is your fault I am not now with your Wife.

Sr. Jaf. But pray, don't let her know fo much,~
the: truth on't is, I was advancing a certain Piojeft
to His Majefty, about- ■• — I II cell you.

Hor. No, let s go, and hear it at your faoufe :. Good
night fweet little Gentleman ; one kifs more, you'll
remember me now I hope. \R'3" her,

Der. What, Sir Jo/per, will you feparate Friends ?
he promis'd to fup withu$, and if you take him to
your boufe, you'll 'be in danger of our Company
too. _,

St. Jaf. Alas Gentlemen, my houfe is not fit for
you, there are none but civil Women there, whiqh
are not for your turn ; he you know can bear with
the Society of civil Women, now, ha, ha, ha,* be-
fides he's one of my Family ; he's, — heh, heh, hcfi.

Der. What is he ?
I Sr. Jaf. Faith, my Eunuch, fipce youll have- it,
heb,he,he* [Sxir ^jrJafMi/ Fidget, WHoriief.

:.. ., Dtr

Vtr. I rather wilhtbou wert bis. or my Ctt4;&^ld :
JJtrcem-tt what a good Cuckold is loft there, £[v
wane of a Man to make him one j thee and I ouioot
liave Bomtr's jirivilege, whocan make u(e ofit^ t

Har.Ay, to poor Hometj 'tis like coming .W; an
Bfiateat threelcore, when a Man cw'i ba ^bel-
ter for't.

Mr. Tin. Come.

Ahi, T'm. Prefently Bnd.

Hot. Come let us %p too : Madaa your SvvaAC.

£r#AH«hM.

Good night Strapper.——— £7VLBcy,

Bar, Madam, though you will not kt ne b»ve a
good .Day, or NkhL I wiJh you otae j but d^te not
name the other half of my with.

Alitb. Good mgh^ Sir, for ever.

^s. Bin. Idod^know \yhereto putthis here, dear
Ikdj you fliall eat it j nay, you fhdl hero pare of the
£ne Genilemans good Thiogi, or Treaty as you call Ir^
when we coipe home.

Mr. Pi». Indeed, I defefve it, fmoe I furailh'd.the
Iwft part of it. IStriiai «v«; the Orangi,

The Gallant treats Pre&nu, and givas the Ball ;
But 'tis the ahfem Cuclwld, pays for ^U.

ACT IV. SCENE I.

/» PinchwlTeV /ioii/i i« the Morwit^

Xucy, Alitbea dnfti ia ntv Cla^lm

Ijicj. TTCT^" — Madam, now Hawl dnft'd yoBj,

V V and fet you Out wkh (a praoy Ornaments,
and rpent upon you ounces of Eflenca, and PulttttJo ;
and all this for no other purpofe, but as Poofite adorn,
and perfumea Cocps-for a ftuikiiig fecond-hand Grare^
Inch or as bad X tsbuk Mafler S»*kilh's B«d.

;.,■"' ." V . jiiitk,.

jtlit^ HtAd 7«ur Pac«.

Zjity. Koyj Mitfun, I vflt a»k you die Rssfen/
why you wou'd bani/h poor Matter Htreemt fov
ever from your figbc ? how couM j'ou be fo hMd-

^AmI. lyas becaufe I vr» not bard-hearKiJ;
£Mr/. N6, no { 'cwat Ank Ion and kindneff, I

Jlith. It was fo j I wou*d fee him no more> '%#•
cnft I love him.

Lmty, Hey-day, a very pretty Reafon.
-iOlttL Yqo 4b «0t a»d«r{iatKl me.

Lmc^. I wilh you may your felf. ■ -

jiAM. I was to^e^ to tMrry, yoa ite, anoAer
Kfon, whom my joiiIim wiU not t^Set me to dt*
ceive, or iii)are.

Lm^ Ca(i tftare be a ^ater cheat, or wrong done
to a Msn, than to give him yoei* Perfbn, Wtcbouc
yoiW' heart ; I Jhoa'd n»ke a Coiifeienee of it.

>tiM. ru retrieve it fer hjtn, after I am tnarHdl
k-wMle.

Lucy. The Wonran that mames to lore better, wtt
be as much mistaken, as the Wenoher that marries to
live better. No, MaJBtn, nisrryifigtoincrearelovef
is like gaming «o thsccme Mh j aUs, you en^y lofe
wliat Ihtle flock y.oti had before.

jilitA. I (kid by your Rheierlck yon have been
biiU»'d to betray me.

iwc/. Only by his k»m, that has biib'd your heart
you fee againft your Word, and rigid Honour ; but
what a Devil is this Honour ? 'm fufe a Difesfo in
tho Head, like the Megrim, oi Falfing-fickneftj
th« always -hurries People away to dothemTeWts rait
chief; Men lefe their lives by it: Women, what'f
dearer to 'em* their Lixve, the life of Life

Altti. Ceme, pray talk you no mor^ Af-Horrooir,"
nor Matter Htroourt j 1 wiili the othei- w«n'i? ccnw>'
to fecore my Fidelity to him, and his ftight in me.
■ Ltny. You wiH marry him then .^

Mi-

x88- TbeCttmtrf'mft.

AUth. Certainly^ I hare ^vea him already my
yr-ot^, and will my.Hand too^ to make it good when
he comes.

, Zwcr.Well, I wifh.Imay never ftiekpia more, if-
he be not an errant Natural, to t'other fine Gentleman. :

Allth. I own he wana the Wit of Htramrtt whi<;h
t: will difpenfe withal , for another wane he has>
which is want of jealoafie, which Men of Wit jCdaom ■
WlWlt.- i ■, ■■

Lucy. Lord, Madam, what fbond yon do with ft.
Fool to your ^usband, yon iniendrtobehoaeft^ don't
you ? then that husbandly Virtue, .Credulity, is thiftwn
away upon you. , i ..■

-iJ^ith. He only -that could fufpcd my Virtue, fhoti'd
have cauft; to do jt ,- 'ti$ Sfurkip'i confidence iq my'
truth, that obliges me to be fo faithful to him. .. >
' Lttcj. You are not fure his Opinion may laft.

Aliilf.' I am fatisfied, 'tis impofCble for him to bo -
jealous, after the Proofs I have had of him : JealouHe
'in a Husband] Heaven defend me from it, it begets
a thoufand Plagues, to a poor Woman, the lofs of her .
Honour, her Quiet, and her— —

Lucy. And her Pleafure.

AUtb. What d'ye mean. Impertinent ?

LucjF. Liberty is a great Pleafure, Madam.

Alitb. I fay lofs of her Honotir, her Quiet, nay^
her Life fomecimesj and what's as bad almoft, the
lofs of this Town, that is, fhe is fent into the Coun-
try, which is the laft ill ufage of a Husband to a
Wife, I think. «

Lucy. O do's the Wind lie there ? t^JiJf^

'Then of necelficy. Madam, you think a Man moft
carry his Wife into the Country, if he be wife ; the
Country is as terrible. I find to our young Englifb .
Ladies, as a Monaltery to thofe abroad j and on my
Virginity, I think they wou d rather marry a Londm-
Goaler, than a high Sheriff of a County, fince neither -
can fiir from his Imployment : formerly Women of
Wit rparried Fools, for a great Eftate, a fine. Seat,
or the like j but now 'tis for a pretty Seat only

The CeuHtry-Wt/e.' i8j

ia Linain'ihm-FuUty St. Jamt-BeUtj or the ?«£-

, Eittir uihirn Sparkifb^ mt*/; Harconrt . >

-; ', Jrtftd like,a7»rfoa.. - ; .

Sfar. Madam, ypnr hnmHe ^exvafit, a htppy dajF
to yon, and to us all; t :

Hiir. Amen. — ■ — r-^- . ; i

- Alitk. Who have we here?

Sfar. My Chaplain faUh; :— O Madani>,poor

Harcourt remembers his humble Service to you ; and
In Obedience to yonrlafl Commands, refrains coning
into your Sigh/.,

. ^itb. h not that tie? . . -

' Star. No, fyq nq J but to fliew that he ne'er in4
tended to hinder oiJir Match has fent his Brother here
to join our hands; when I get me a AKfife, J mull
^et her a Chaplain/ according to the Cuflpm^ tl^
IS his Brother, and my Chaplain.

jtiitb. His Brother?

Luty. And your Chaplain, to preach in your PnU
pic then iJJiJi*

Alitb. His Brother !

Spar. Nay, I knew you wouM not believe it ; I
told you. Sir, Ihe wou'd take you for your Brother
Irank.

Alitb. Believe it!

Lucj. His Brother ! hah, ha, he, he has a trick lefit
flill it feems \_Aftdt.

Spar. Come my deareft, pray let us go to Chnrchr
before the Canonical hour is paft.

Aliti. For fliame, you are abus'd ftill.

Sfar. By the World 'tis ftrange now yon are fo
incredulous.

Al'ti. 'Tis Grange you are fo credulous.

Spar. Deareft of my Life, here me, I tell you this
is Ntd. Hareomrt oi CambrUgtj by the World, you fee
he has a fneaking College look ; 'tis true he's feme-'
thing like his Brother Frank, and they differ from
eiach oth^r 90 more tbat\ in f heir Age, for they were
Twins. Lucj.

t90 ' fheC9tmtry4rffe: |

Alhb. Your Serrant, Sir, I caniioc be fb AtctWi^
though yon «« j but ooffle kt.s !war^ liow do yoa |
luiow what yoa affirm fo eonddently ?

Sfar. W^hy, I'll tell yoQ all ^ Frank Harcettrt comiog
IP n» tJiU TAonAog, to wiA nie ^dy, and prefent his
Service to yoo : I ask'd him, ifmcoa'd he^ me to '
a Parfon, whereupon he told me, hQ had a Brmher '
in Town who was in C^^s, aqd he went -ftraight
B«Xf,-and ftnthim^yoa lee there, to mt. .

jtli/k. Yes, Rtnk goes, and puts on a black-coat, !
ihniulli you, fas 4s IfeJ, ^at'» aH yqa hare fbr^r.

Sftr. Plhaw, Pfliaw, I tell yqa by the fame token,
the Midwife put her Garter aboov 2ri»nl*s Jieck>, to
know '^mafuoder, they were (b like.

jtiitk Pfmk tells yon this coo.

Sfap. Ay, and SfeJ, there too j i^y, they are bodi
ia a StoiT.

Alitb. So, fo, very fooliAi.

Spar. Lord, if you won't believe one, yoo bad teft
try him by your ChanAer-maid there j for Chamber-
B^dsmoft needs know Chaplains from other Men,
they are fo us'd to 'em,

t^. Let's fee j nay, HI be fwprti he has the
CanoMcal fmirk, and the hitby, dammy palm of a
Chaplain.

AlUb. Well, moft reverend Doftor, pray let bs
make an end of t las footing.
. I&r. With all my Soul, Divine, Heavenly Creature,
when yoa '^afe. .

Alitb. He fpeaks like a Chaplain indeed.

Sfar. "Why, was there not. Soul, Divine, Hearcflly
iav^athefatd?

Alltb, Once more, moil impertinent Black-cMf,
ceafe your perfecution, aiid let us have a Conclufioa
•f this ridieoloufi Love.

•Hsr. I had forgot, I mnft fate my Stile to my
Coat, or 1 wear it in vain. [^4^

Alitb. I have no more patience left, let us nal^c
oow VI cad of this noubkfome Love, 1 fay.

■ SUr.

The CMmtryWifir. 191

Uar. - So be itj Seraphick Lady« when your Hoooor
fiiall think it meet, and convenient fo to do.

Sfgr. 'Gad I'm fure none but a Chaplain coa'd fpeak
fo, 1 think.

Aiitb. Let me tell yon. Sir, (bis dull Trick, will not
fenre your mm, thoagh you delay qur Marriage, yoa ■
fiiall not hinder it.

Hff. Far be it from me, ManiticBat t^atronefs, to
delay your Marriage, I defire tiothing more than to
marry yoa prefently, which I- nright do, if yoa your
felf wou'd ; for my Noble, Good-natur'd, and thrice
Generous Patron here wou'd not hinder it.

Spar. No, poor Man, not 1 faith. > , .

Hot. And now. Madam, let me tell ypt^ plainly,
no Body elfe Ihall marry you, by Heavens, I'll .^e -
firfl, for I'm fure I ihou'd die after it.

2.119'. How his Love has madb him forget his Fun^
^on, as i have feen ic in real Parfons.

Alitb. That was fpoken like a Chaplain too, now
yon nnderftand him, I hope. . ! .

5/Mr. Poor Man, he takes ic hainouOy to berefus'd;
I can't blame him, 'tis putting an Indignity upon him^
not to be fuffer'd, but you'll pardon me; Madam,
it Ihan't be, he ihall marry us, come awayj pray^;
Madam.

Lucy. Hah, ha, he, more ado! 'tis late. 'j

^irb. Invincihle Stupidity, I tell you he wou'd
marry oif , as your Rival, not as your Chaplain.

Sport Come, come Madam. - [^PuUirfg her awajrJ-

Lbc/. I pray, Ihladam, do not refufe this Reverend '
Divine, jihe honour and fatisfadion of marrying'
yoa i for I dare fay, be has fet his Heart npon'e, good
Dodor.

jiUth. What fan yoa hope, or delign by this ?

Hn*. I coa'd anfwer her, a Reprieve for a Day .
obIv, -often revokes a hafty Doom? Ac v/tx&f
if me will not take mercy on me, and let me mar-
ry her, I hare at lealt the lover's fecond Plea-
fare, bindring niy Rival's Enjoyment, though but for .
a time.

O S'pir. Come

i^r the CamtrfW^

Sfar. Com« Madani^ 'tik e'en tweire a Clock, and
my Mother charg'd me nerer to be mamed oat of the
Canonical Hoars ; come, come. Lord here's fiich a
deal of Modefty, I warrant the firft Day.

Luey. Yes, tn't plcafe your Worftip, married Wo-
men ftew all their Modefiy the firu Day, becaufe
married Men fhew all their Love the firft Day.

{Extmt SparkjOi, Atithea, Harcourt^ and Lucy.

TTh Seme eha»ges to a Btd-chamher, whtrt a^ar Pinch'
wife, atid Mrs. Pinchwife.

Mr. Tm. Come tell me, I fay.

Mrf. Pirn Lord, hflft-'c I cold it an bandied times
over.

Mr. Pi». I wou'rf try, if in the Repetition of the
nngratcAit Tale, I cou'd' find her alterine ir iir the
leaft Circomftance, for if her Stoiy be fille, flie is
fotoo. lAfiJe,

Come, how was't Bag^ge ?

Mri.Vin. Lord, wlMt Scafure yon take to heat it
fore!

Mr, Pm. No, you take more in teUSng it I find,* bnc
fpeak, bowwas't?

Mn.Pin. He carried me Up ioto tbc^ Hoofe, next to
the Exchange.

Mr. Tin. So, and you Two were on ly in the Room.

Mrs. Pin. Yes, for he fent away z yoarh that was
there, for (bme dried Frutt, and Chtrta Oranges.

A^. Pin. Did he fb .*- Damn him for it— —and
for

Mrj, Ph. Btit presently came op the Gentlewoman
of the.Honfe.

Mr- Pin. O, 'twas well {he did, but <vhat did he do
ii^Ieft the Fmircame ?

Mri. Pin. Hekifs'd me a hundred tjimes, and told
me he fancied he kiis'd my fine S {fter, meaning
ne you know, whom he faid he Id r'd with aU his
Soaf, and bid me be fare to tell her fo, and to de-
fire her to be at her Window, by elev en of the Ctock

The Cetmtrj^.Wife. , 19 j

^ils ftJOTiuDg, and he wou'd walk under it at that
time.

Mr. Pin. And he Was as good as his word^ reif
ptmaaali a Pox reward him for't. C^^'.

Afrj. Ph. Well, and he laid tf yon were not within,
he won'd coitie no to her, nKanioeme yon Inow^
Bod, ftiH-

.«>■. Pin. So he knew her cerraioly, bat for this

Confeffion, I am oblig'd to her Smplicity.. [.^fide.
But what, you flood very ftill, when he kift'd yon ?

Mri. Fin. Yes, I warrant you, won'd yon have had
ine difco^er'd my felf ?

Mr. Pin. But you told me, he did fome Bea'Minefs
to you, as you call it, what was't ?

Mrs. Pin. Why, he iraty —

Mr.Pln. What?

A*-j. Pin. Why he put the lip of Ims Tongue %e-
tween my JJps, and fi> muiQ'd ffl&— and t laid, Id
bite it.
. Afr. PAi. An eternal conker feize It, for a Dog,

Mri. P*». Nay, you need not be fo angry with hini
heither, for to fay truth, he has the fweeteft Breath
lever knew.

Mr. Pin. The Devil^-^— you were fMisAcd with k
•Qtea^ and wou'd do it again.

Mrs. Pin. Not unlcfs he flton'd force me.

Atr. Pin. Force you, changeling, I tell yon no Wtf-
than can be forced.

A^s. Pin. Yes, bat ike may fare, by faoh aoneai
he, for he's a proper, goodly ftrong Man, 'tis hard,
let me tell yon, to rehft him.

Jt^. Pin. So, *tia plain flie loves him, yet fhe has not
t^re enoagh to make her conceal it from me, but the
fight of him will inereafe her AverHon for me, and
Lore for hiih j and that Love inltrn^ her how to
deceite me, and factsfie him, all Ideot at fbe is:
Z^ove, 'twas be gave Wnnen firft their Craft, their
Art of deluding ^ out of Nature's Hands they camtt
^in, open, Wly, and fit for Slaves, at She and Hea-

«n intenddd *em i but damn'd tovo — *-W«H 1

Ox . , njuft

194 ^*' CMMtnWtfe:

mnfl flranglethae little Monfler, whUefl I can dtial

with him.

Go fetch Pen, Ink, md Paper out of the next Room.

Afrj. Tin. Ves, Bud. lExk A*-/. Pinchwifc.

MT.?in. Why. Ihoold Women have more Fi^entioix
in Love than Men i It can only be, becaole they have
more Defires, more folicLting PaffionSj more Liift,and
more of the Devil. {.-^M'*

Come, Minks, fit down and write.
Jl^t. Pin.' Ay, dear Bud, bot f can't do't very welL
Mr. Pin. I wjiii you cou'd not at all.
Mrt. Pitt. But what ihou'd I write for f
Idr. Pin. I'll have yoa write a Letter to your Lover.
Mrs. Via. O Lord, to the fine Gentleman a Letter !
Mr. Pin Yes, .to the fine Gentleman.
Mrs. Pin, Lord, you do but jeer ; fure you jeft.
Mr.Piii. 1 am not fo merry, come write aslbid

Mrs. Pin. What, do you think, I am a Fool ?

A^. Pin. She's afraid I would not didace any love
to bimj therefore Ihe's unwilling ; but you had belt
begin.

Mri. Pin. Indeed, and indeed, but I won't, fo I
won't.

Mr. Pin. Why.'

Mri. Pin. Becaule he's in Tovn, you may fend for
him if you will. ... *

Mr. Pin. Very well, you wou'd have him brought
to you ; is' it eome lo this ? I fay take the Pen and
write, or you'll provoke me.

Mru Pin. Lord, what d'ye make a Fool of me for ?
Don't I iknoW' that Letters, are never writ, but. from
the Country to Ltm^vn, and from Z!.onJ(:» ,into the-
Couitjtry ; now he's in 1 own, and lani inTown too j
therefore I can'c write to him you Juiow.

Mr. Pin, So, lam glad it is no worfe^ ib^e is inao-
Qtnt enough-yet. ', • ^JfiJi.

Yes

The CouMtry-mfe. 1 9 5

Yes yon may, when yonr Husband bids you, write
Letters to People that are in Town-

Mrs. Pin. O mayl fo ! Then I'mfatUfied.

Mr. Tin. Come begin Sir \_DiBatts.

Mrs. Pin. Shan't I Uy, dear Sir ? Yon know one fays
always fomething more than bare Sir. '

Mr. Pin. Write as I bid you, or I will write Whore
with this Penknife in your Face.

Mrs. Pin. Nay, good Bud Sir— ^ [She writei.

Mr. Pin. Though I fnffer'd laft Night your naufeous;
loath'd KilTes and Embraces Write.

Mrs. Pin. Nay, why flioa'd I fay fo ? You know I
told you, he had a fweet Breath.

Mr. Pin. Write.

Mrs. Tin. Let me bat pot cot, loath'd.

Mr. Pin. Write I fay.

Mrs. Pirn. Well then. [ mttsi

Mr. Pin. Let's fee, what have yoa writ ?
ThoDgh I fuflcr'd laft Night your Kifles and ^-
braces-^— ^Takes the Pafer, andrtaJs.

Thou impudeae Creature, where is naufeous and
loath'd i

Mrs. Tht. 1 can't abide to write fuch filthy Words.

Afr. Pin. Once more write as I'd have yon, and

foeftion it not, or I will fpoil thy writing wich tliis;
will lUb OQC thofe Eyes that caufe my MHchief.
[ Holds ttf the Tenhtife.
Mrs. Tin. O Lord, I will.

Mr. Pin. So fo let's fee now! [ Reads.

Though I fuffer'd laft Night your naufeous, loath'd

Kifles, and Embraces ; go on Yet 1 would not

hare you prefutne that you fliall ever repeat them

So ' ' ■ t ^^' writes^

Mrs. Pin. I have writ ic.
A*-. Pin. On then— I then conceal'd my felf from

your Knowledge, to avoid your InfolelicieS

[ She writes.
Mrs. Pin. So " — — ■ ■

Afr. Pin. The fame reafon now I am out of your

Hands > isbejyrittt^

O 3 Mrs. Fin.

^^6 -The Cmtftrf P^tfe.

Mr I. Tin. So ■ ■

Mr. Tin. Makes me own to you my unfortunate,
though inaocent FioUck, of being in Mtn's Coaths.

Mn. Tin. So , ' '

Mr. Tin. That you may for evermore ceafe to par-
fae hcTj who hates and detcHs yod— — [SbtwrMi en.
' Mrs.Th. So— — h ' i Sight.

Mr. Tim. What do you figh ?— ^etefts you— —as
much as (he loves her Husband and her Honour^-— '
' Mn: Tin. I TOW Husband he'll ne'er beliere, I (hon'd
write foch a Letter.

■ Mr- Tin. What he'd expeA a kinder from y^\
Coitie now your Name odiy.

Mrt. Tin. What, fhan't I fay your moA faithful,
humble Servant 'till death ? ■

Mr. Tin. No, tormenting Fiend j her Stile t nnd
wou'd be very foft. [ Afiit.

Come wrap it up now, whileft I go fetch ^ax and a
Candle j and write on the back-fioe. For MuHamtr.
• [ £«« Pincbwiie.

Mrs. Tin. For Mr. Horner^— %Oy 1 am glad he bai
told me his Name ; Dear Mr. Hom»j but why Qtould
'1 fend thee fueh a Letter, that will vex thee, and
make thee angry withmej— *— well I will not fend
k— — Ay, but then my Husband will kill rap -r—ioi I
fee plainly, he won't let ■ me love Mr. Hproer— but
what care I for my Husband »-^ I won't, fo I wtui't,
fwd poor Mv. Homtt fueh a Letter — but then my

Husband -Buioh— — wharif I writ at bottom, my

fiusfcand made -me write it- — Ay, bat thenmyHus*-

band wou'd fce't' Can one have no ihiftjah, aii»-

W<»r Woman wou'd have had a hundred preleotly 1
flay-; — what if I ifaon'd Write a Letter, and wrap it
up iUte thisj and write upon't too j ay, but then |ny
Husband Wou'd fee't-^r— f don't know what to do— —
But yet y vads HI try, fo 1 vnll-^for I will not fend
this Letter to poor Mr. Hanur, come what will on't.
I Dear, fweet Mr. Konwr^- — iShtwriru,Midrtfiftt

fo my Husband wou'd Imvc i wbatMu iutb nvk.

\. ... ~ . :: •:-..■:'■■-. - tnS

The C^untrfWife. 197
me iend you a bafe, jude, anmannerly Lettei^-^-b||^
I won't—' — {0— " and wou'd have me forbid you lov-
ing me — bot I won't yi*^— and wou'd have me

lay to yon, I bate you poor Mr, f£)r«fr botlwon't

tell a Lye for him tbert—^iQt I'm fu« if yoa and

I were m the Country at Cards together, — —f^.--.
I cou'd not help treading on your Toe wider the Ta-
ble /i) ■ -or rubbing Kaeeswith yon, and Oaring

in your Face, *ttll you faw me vtrj wt3 — :— and

then looking down, and blulhing for an Hour toge-
ther fi but I muft make faafle before my Hus-
band comes ; and now he has caught me to write Ixc-
ters : You fliall have longer ones ^om me, who am
Dear, dear, poor dear Mr. Hmur,

Your moft humble Friend, and
Servant to command 'cUI deaths
- MargtTj Piacbwife.

Scaylmuft give him a hint at bottom^— jS—^

now wrap it up juft like t'other— yo-*— now write

for Mr. Hinwfl-,— — Bot oh now, what ftall I do

with ic ? for here comes lAy HQsband.

Enter Pinchwife.

Mr. fin. I have been detained by a S|^kifli Cox-
comb, who pretended a ViTtt to mc ; Imt I icar 'twas
to my Wife. iJfiJe.

What, have you done ?

Mn. Pin. Ay, ay. Bod, jaft now.

Afr. P(>. Let's fee'f, what d'ye tren^c fdr, what,
you wou'd not have it go ?

Aft-/. Pin. Here- No I mvttKHi «f«nt, mJ rtaJs

not give him that, fo I had beeni ibt pfjt Lentr.
ferved if I had given him this. [-4^-

il*-. Fin. Come, whertfs the Wax and Serf ?

Mrs.Pin. Lord, what Ihall I do dow ? Nay itiwi I

have it l-4/l^'

Pray let me fce't, 3Lo*d {.Snatthtt tht Letttr frtm imn,
yon tMnk me fo errand i tbangn irfir tkt »ibtr, fists
a Pod, I cannot feal a ( it , and diliviri it tf idm
Letter, I Wia do- 1 fo I wiH.

O4 ¥'•7'*^

198 the CoMMtryWife.

% .Mr. Phf. Nay, I befiere yon wil! learn that and 0-
ther ttuogs too, which I wou'd not have yob.

Ahf. Tin. So, han't I done it CQrionfly ?
I think i have, there's my Letter goiog to Nifr. Homer ;
fince he'll needs have me fend Letters to Folks. \_JJide^

Mr. Fin. 'Tis ?ery well, bat I wariaat, yoq wou'd
not have It go now ?

Mrt. Tin. Yes indeed, bat 1 wou'd. Bad, now.

Mr. ?in. Well, yon are a good Girl then, come let
me lock yoo np in your Chamber, 'till I come back ;
- and be fare you come not within three Strides of the
Window, whetr I am gone ^ for 1 hare a Spye in
the Street. [Exit Mrs. Pin.

At leaft 'tis fit (he thinks fo, if we J Pinchwtfe locks
do not cheat Women, they'll cheat 7 *^' Door.
us; and Fraud may 4ie juftlynfed with (ecrec Ene-
niies, of which a Wife is the moll dangerous j and he
that has a handfome one to keep, and a Frontier Town,
muft provide againQ Treachery, rather than open

Force- Now I have iecured all within, I'll ^eal

with the Foe without vfkh Mk Inteltigeni;e.-

[^ Holds up the Letter.

I Exit Pinchwife.

. . Jptp ScfiK (katfget to Horner'j LeJging.
Quack and Hornet-

^u. Well Sir, how fudges the new -Deljgn ; have
you not the luck qf all your Brother Proje^rs, co
deceive only your felf at laft }

Hiir- Npygpod Awfiae PoAor, Lde^eive you it feems^

at]d others too ; foc^be grave Mattonf, and old ri^

. (iiisbands think me as un6t for Love, as they ate } but

their' Wji^ves, SiA^rs^ ^o4 Daughcers,. kniow fome of

:>m better tl^iqg^pyrea^y. ' ,

^.Already; ..i

Hw.. Already, ] j^y^ ^ Ni^ 1 was drunk wifh

, h^lf a Dozen of ycutt civil PetTcu^.as you call 'etji,

and'iPiOoj^l^ of, Hwp'uri and fo w^^dp/iee .of^t{i^

Society, and Dremng-ropp^ fp( eV:6r her^aftef j,afd

T%e Coutttry-fyife. 199

am already come to the Pririleges o£ (leefnng opon
their PaUatSj warming Smocks^ eying Shoes and Gar-'
ters, and the like Do&or^ already, already Dodor.

^». Yon hare made ufaof your timc^ Sir.

Her. 1 cell thee, I sm now no more Ineerruprion to
*em, when they fiog, or talk bawdy, than a little
Sgaab Frmcb Page, who fpeaks no Etiglijh.

^. Bat do civil Perfons, and Women of Honour
drink, and fing bawdy Songs ?

Hot. O amongft Friends, amongft Friends; for your
Bigots in Honour, are juft like thofe in Religion ;
they fear the Eye of the World, more than the Eye
of Heaven, and think there is no Vertue, but railing
at Vice j and no Sin, but giving Scandal : They rail
at a poor, little, kept Player, and keep themfelves
fome young, modeft Putpic Commedian to be privy
to their Sins in their Clofets, not to tell 'em of them
in their Cbappels. ^

^. Nay, the Truth on't is, Priefls amongft the
Women now, have quite got the better of qs Lay-
Confeflbrs, Phyfidaos.

fler. And they are rather their Patients, but— .

Enttr my Lady Fidget, Utkhg shtitt btr.

Now we talk of Women of Honour, here comes
one. Hep behind the Screen there, and but obferve ;
if I have not particular Privileges, with the Women
of. Reputation already, DoAor, already.

La. Fid. Well HomtTj am not I a Woman of Ho-
nour ? You fee I'm a» good as my word.

Hor. And yoa fh all fee, Madam, I'll not be behin4-
hand with yott in Honour ; and lil be as good as my
word too, if yon pleafe but to withdraw into the next
Room. ...

La. Fid. But firft, my dear Svt you muft promife
to4^ve a.careof -my d£ar Honour.

■Hot. If you talk a word more ,of your Honour,
.you'l^ make meJnc^pable to wrongs ip ; to talk of Hti~
S^iir ^l the Myfleries of Love, is like talking of Hea-
ven,

200 The CimntryWiJe.

Tcn, or the Deity in an C^ration of Witchcraft,
juft when you are employtog the Deril, it mafces the
Charm impotent.

La. Bd. Nay, Ae, let us not be fmooty ; but yoti
talk of Myfteries, and bewiubing to me, 1 don'c un-
derftand you.

Hot. I tcU ypa. Madam, the word Money in a
XiiftK^es Mouth, at fudi a nick of time, is not a
more difhearcing found to a younger Brother, than
that of Honour to an eager Lover like my felf.

La. Fid. But you can't blame a Lady of my Repn*
tatioa to be chary. '

Hot. Chary 1 hare been chary of it already, by

the Report I have cans'd of my felf.

La. Ftd. Ay, but if you flion'd ever let other Wo-
men know that dear Secret, it would come out j nay,
yoQ muft have a great care of your ConduA ; for my
Acquaintance are fo cenforious, ( oh 'tis a wiclied cen-
forioas World, Mr. Hwfifr, ) I fay, are fo cenforious,
and detraAing, that perhaps they'll talk to the Pre-
judice of my Honour, though you ftou'd not !ec
them know thfr dear Secret.

Hor. Nay, Madam, rather than they fliall prejudice
your Honour, I'll prejudice theirs j and to ferve you,
I'll lie with 'em all, ^ake the Secret their own, and
then they'll keep it : I am a Maehiavelia Love, Ma-
dam.

La. Fid. O, no Sir, not that way.

Hffr. Nay, the Devil take me, If cenforioos Wo-
men are to be (ilenc'd any other way.

Ls. Ftd. A Secret is better kept I hope, by a Angle
Perfbn than a Multitude ; therefore pmy do not croft
any Body elfe with it, dear, dear Mr. Anstr.

Enttr 5t> Jafper Fidget.

Sr. J*f. How now !

La. Fid. O my Hssband—— prevented — -«nd iriiat's
almoft as bad, found with my' Arms rtoue another
Man—— that will appear too mnch^— — what AaD I

Sir

Sir Ji^ come hict^, I am trying if l/tt. Homer vrtsta
dcUilh, ind he's as tickllfli a& can be, I love to cor-
ment tbe coofounded Toad } let yon and I tickle him.

Sr. jF«/I No, your LadyJlii^ will tickle him better
without mo, I fuppofe ; but is this your baying.Chir
oa, I thought yoa had been at the China.houre ?

Bar. Cluiia-Houre, that's my Cue, I muft take it,

A Pox, can't yoa keep yonr impertinent Wives at
home i'. Some Men are troubled with the Hnsbands,
but I inth the Wives ; bat I'd have yoa to Icnow, 0a£e
1 cannot be yoar Journey-man by Night, I will not
be your Drudge by Day, to fquire your Wife about,
and be your Man cf Straw, or Scare-crow only to
Pyes and J>y*i that woatd be nibling at your forbid-
den fhut ; 1 Iball be fiiortly the Hackney Geotkman-
Uiher of the Town.

^r. ?V^Heh, heh, he, poor Fellow he's in the right
oo't raicb, to fquire Women about for other Folks, is
OS ungrateful an Employment, as to tell Money for
other Folks. [ ^^

He, he, he, ben't angry Uame r ^ ——

Ls. Fid. No, 'm Z have more reafon to be angry,
who am left by you, to go abroad iodeceoily atone i
or, what is more indecent, to pin my felf * upon Juch
ill-bred People of yoar Acquaintance, as this is.
Sr. ysf. Nay, prithee, what has he done i
La. BJ. Nay, he has done nothing. ^

Sr, Jaf. Bat wbac d'ye take ill, if be has ^ne no*
thingf

JU. Kl- Hah, bab^ hah, faith, I cin't but laugh
however; why, d'ye thimk the nooiaanerly Toad
woa'd not oome down to me to the Coach, 1 was
fun to come up to fetch him, or go without him,
which I ,was rdblved not to do j for he knows China
very well, and has bimfelf very gooi^j.lwt will noc
let Btt iiM it, left I £b«utd bex focne ; but I will £nd
ic o«tf, and banc what I cane for yet.

, [fiicif Lady Fidget> «W loch tie Dter,

feBfUftd h Uqrner to the Detr. . .

Hw.Lock

101 the Cfiuntry-mfe.

Her. Lock the Door, Madam— {^Afart to LadyViigst.
So, flic has got into my Chamber, and lock'd me ont;
oh the Impertinency of Woman-kind I Well, Sir' Jaf-
fer, plain-dealing is a Jewel ,• if ever you fuffer your
Wife- to trouble me again here, ffie fhall carry you
home a pair of Horns, by my Lord Mayor Ihe fliall ;
though 1 cannot forniih-yoa my felf, yon are fare,
yet ril find a way.

St. Jaf. Hah, ha, he, at my firft coming in, and
finding her Arms about him, tickling him it feems,
I was half jealous, but now I fee my Folly, {.^fidi.
He, he, he, poor Homer.

Hot. Nay, though yon laugh now, 'twill be my
turn e'er long : Oh Women, more Impertinent, more
cunning, and more mifchievous than their Monkeys,

■ and to me almoft as ugly^ now is flie throwing

my things about, and rilling all I have, but III get
in to her the back way, and fo rifle her for i t — — - ^

Sr. Jaf. Hah, ha, ha, poor angry HvmtT.

Hot. Sxsy here a Kttle, ril ferret her out to you
prefently, I warrant. [ Exit Horner at- t'other Doer.

Sr. Jaf. Wife, my Lady Fid- ^5/r Jafper edit tbrougb
pty Wife, he is coming into i theDeertohisififty^t
you the back way. } anfwtn from within.

La. FtJ. 'Let hini come, and welcome, which way
he will.

Sr. Jaf He'H catch yon, and ufe yon roughly, and
be too ftrong,for you.

' La. i4r Bon't yoQ trouble yoiirfelf, let him if h^
can.

^. {^BehindJ This indeed I cou'd not have beUev'tf
from him, nor any but my own Eyes.- ,

. Enter. Mi^efsSqap^iQi,

S^utam. Where's -this Womamhater,- this Toad, thh
v^y, greafie, dirty Sloven }.:■-•■ : <

■ ^'■- J"/- "So the Women all wiW have him u^y, me-
thinks he is a comely Perfon ; but his ^Wanrs make his'
Powi-contemptible to 'em ; and 'tis le'en as my Wife
faid yefterday, talking ofhkiij-ihat a proper hand-
■-- fome

The CtrnttryWife. aoj

fome Ennnofe, was as ridicalous a thing, » a Gigan-
lick Coward.

S^Mtam- Sir Ja/fir, your Servant^ where is the a*
dious Beaft ?

Sr. Jaf. He's wichin in hts Chamber, with my
Wife i /he's playing the Wag with him.
^ S^ittam. Is {he lo^ and he's a clownilh Beaft, he'll
give her no Quarter, he'll play the Wag with hera*
gain, let me tell you ; .come, let's go help her— —
What, the Door's lock'd ?

Sr.Jaf. Ajr, my Wife lock'd it

Sqii€4m. Did fiie fo, let us break it open then?

St. Jaf. No, no, he'll do her no hort.

Squtam. No rfiut is there no other way to getin

to 'em, whither goes this ? I will difturb'em. ^Afidi.
' . [ Exit Squeamifli «r anotbtr Dm.

. £»/<r OUla*/)' Squeamifc.

Old L. Squtam. Where is this Harlotry, this impu-
dent Baggage, this jambliiw; Tqmrigg^ O Sir J4f»
I'm glad to fee- ypu here, did you noc fee my vil'd
Crandchild come in hither jult now ?

Sr. Jaf. Yes.

Old L. S^ueam. Ay, but where is. ihc then ? where
is ihe ? Lord, Sir Jafper, I have e'en ratled my felf to
pieces in purfuit of her ;. but can you tell what flie-
makes here ? They fay below, no Woman lodges here.
■ Sr. Jaf No.

Old L. Squeam. No— — What does flie here then ?
lay, if it be not a Woman's Lodging, what makes fhe
here ? Biit are you fnre oo Woman lodges here ?

Sr. Jaf. Na, nor no Man neither, this is Mr. Her-
titr's todging.

Old L, Squmm, Is it fo are you fure ?

Sr. J4. Tes, Yes.

OldL-S^am. So then there's no hurt in't X hope,
but where is he ?

Sr. Jaf. He's in the next Room with my Wife.

OU L. S^ittam. Nay, if yon truft him with your
Vife, I may with my Biddy, they fay he's a merry

harm-j^^.

ib4 tire Country-Wife.

tutrmlefs Kiaii nbw, e'en as harmleJi A "bAzti ^eVci
came out of Itatj with a good Voice, ^nd i$ pretty harm-
lefs Company for a Lady, as a Snake without hisTeecb.
Sr. J»J, Ay, ay, poor Man^ .

Ent& Mtu Sqiteami/b*

S^uiam. i can't find 'em«-Oh, are yoa hereGraod-

ttiDtner, I followed, yon mnft kntiW, my Lady Ftiia

bither, 'tts riie precttet} Lodging, ftnd 1 hare been

flaring on the prcttieQ pidures.

fiMff Uiy Fidget wifj « fitcf af chiM in itt iU»i, t»l

HoraafeHemȣ.

La. FiJ. And I have been toyling an<J iiioyliog, for
ttie preity'ft piece of China, iny Dear.

Iter. Nay, fhe has been too hard for ipc, do Mrhat
I con'd.

Squeam.. Oh, Lord, I'll harelbme China too, ^ood
Mr. Homtrt don't think to gire other People Cnm,
And me none, come In with me too.

Hbr. Upon ni]' Honour I have none left noW.

S^ueam. Nay* nay, I have known you deny yoor
China before now, but you Jhan'c put me off fo. Come—

Hor. This Lady had the laft therc^
, La.Vii. Yes indeed. Madam, to my certain Know-
ledge he has no ttiore left.

Squeam. O, bot it may be he may - hare fo^e yo"
coQid not find. ,

La.FiJ, What d'ye think if he had had iny teft, I
Would not have had it too, for wc Women of Quali-
ty never think we have China enough.

Hot. Do not take it ill, I cannot make China for
yoa all, but I will have a Rol-n^^on for you too;
another time. ;

5j«Mw. Thank you dear Tdad. [ Ta Homer «M'' j

La, Bd. What do yoa mean by thst Promifc ?

Hot. Alas, (he has an innocent, literal undcrfta"^"
ing, [ Afan to Udj Ficlgc'-

OUL.Sfueam. Poor Mr. Ho>»rf, he hai'enoi^ »
do to pleafe you all, I fee.

TheCeuntrjW'fe. iOj

ttor. Ay, Madam, you fee how they ufe me.
Old L. S^ueam. Poor Gentleman, 1 pity you.
Hor. I thank you. Madam, I cou'd never find Pity,
but from fuch reverend Ladies, as yoa are, the young
ones will never fpare a Man.

SqueaiK' Come, come, Beaft, and go dinie with us,
for we fhall want a Man at Hombre aner Dinner.
Hor. That's all their nfe of me. Madam, yoa fee,
S^Heam. Come Sloven, 1*11 lead you to be fure of
yon. [ PuSj him by tbt Crtvat.

Old L. S^utam. Alas poor Man, how fhe tugs him,
kifs, kifs her, that's the way to make fuch nice Wo-
men qoier.

thr. No, Madam, that Remedy is worfe than the
Torment, they know I dare fuffer any rfiing rather
than do it.

Old L. S^ueam. Prithee kifs her, and I'll give you
her Pii^re in Ihtlc, chat youadmir'd fo Ian Night,
pnthee do.

Hor. Well, nothing but that could bribe me, I love
a 'Woman only in Efiigie, and good Painting, as much
as 1 hate them— I'll do't, for I cou'd adore the Devil
well painted [ Kifn Mrs. Squeam.

Sqieam. Foh, you filthy Toad, nay, now Fve done
jefting

Old L. Se[ueam. Ha. ha, ha, I cold you fo.

SjMtam. Foh, a Kifs of his

Sr, Jff. Has no more hurt in't, than one of my
Spaniels.
S^mtm. Nor no more good neither.
^. I will now believe any thing be tells me.

[ Bthind.

Enttr Air. Pinchwife.

i#. FtJ. O Lord, here's a Man, Sir Jafptr^ my Mask>
my Mask, I would not be feen here for the- World.

Sr. Jaf. What not, when I am with you.

£«. Fid. No, no my Honour— ^let s be gone.

StjHiam. Oh Grandmother, let us be gone, make
balte, make hsfte, I know not how he may cenfure us.

ao6 the Couitry-ff^ife. •

L». FiJ. Be found in the Lodging of am tMng like

a Man^ away. £ Extvnt Sir Jafper^ La. Fid. Old

La. Squeam. ^/.Squeamilti.

^. What's here, another Cuckold he looks

like one, and none elffi fure have any Bufmers with
bim. . ■ [_ Behind.

Hot. Well> what brings my dear Friend hidier i

Mr. Fin. Your Impcrtinency.

Hor. My Impertineocy — why you Gentlemen that
have got handJbme Wives, think you have a Privilege
of faying any thing to your Friends, and are as biBtilo,
as if you were our Creditors.

Air.Fin. No, Sir, I il near truft you any way.

Hot. But why not, dear Jiuk, why diffide in me,
thou know'ft fo well ?

Mr- Pin. Becaufe I do know you fo well.

Her. Han't I been always thy Friend, honeft Jack,
always ready to ferve thee, in Love, or Battel, before
thou wert married, and am fo Aill ?

M". Pin. I believe fo, you wou'd be my SecowJ,
now indeed.

Hw. Well then dear Jack, why fo unkind, fo gram,
fo Arange to me, come prithee kifs me dear Rogue,
gad I was always I fay, and a^ flill as much thy Ser-
vant as- " ■ ■

Mr. Pin. As I am yours. Sir. What you wou'd fend
a Kifs to my Wife, is .chat it f

Hor. So there 'tis— a Man can't fliew his Friend-
fliip to a married Man, but prefently he. talksofhis
Wife to you j Prithee let thy Wife alone, and let thee
and I be all one, as we were wont : what thou art as
Ihye of my Kindnefs, as a Lumhard-Jlrttt Alderman of
a Courtier s Civility at Lockets.

Mr. Fin. Bat you are over kind to nic, as kind, as if

I were-your Cuckold already, yet I muft confefs you

onght to be kind and civil to me, fmce I ain fo kind* w

civil to you, as to bring you this, look you there, Sir-

r Delivers him a Lttttr-

Hor. What is't?

Mr. Pitt. Only a Love-Lctter, Sir* '

Her. From

the Cfiimtry-Wife. ao/

^ar. From whom — how« this is from youFlK^ffr—
Imm — and hum [R««^.

A£r, Pm. Even froA my Wife, Sir, un I not won-
drous kind and civil to you, now too ?
But you'll not think her fo^ i4fi^

Her. Ha, Is this a THck of his, or hers? [^jUn

Adr. Pm. The Gentleman's fnrpriz'd I find^ wha^
you expeSed a kinder Letter ?

Mer. No ^ith, not I, how con'd I ?

Mr. Pin. Yes, yes, I'm fure yon did ; a Man fo well
made as yon ate mufi needs be difamointed, if the
Women declare not their Faffion at fim Sight or Op^
poitnnity.

Hfr. Bat what fbould this mean > ftay, thePofllcrlpk
Be fare yon lord me, whatfoever my Husband fays
to the contrary, and let him not fee this, Icfthefiionld
come home, and pinch me, or kill my S^nirrel.

It feems he knows not what the Letter contains, {j^,

Mr. Pin. Come^ ne'er wonder at it fo much.

Hot. Faith, I can't help it.

Mr. Pin. Now, I think, I hare deferr'd your infinite
Friendlhip, and Kindnefs, and have (hewed ttiy felf fdE^
fidently an obliging kind Friend and Husband, am InoC
fo, to bring a Letter horn my Wife to her Gallant i

Htti Ay, the Devil take me, art thob, the moft otn
l>giii& kind Friend and Husband in the Vorld> ha. btfj

Mr. Pin, Well, you may be merry. Sir, but in Inort
I mnft tell you. Sir, my Honour will fnffer no jeKUngi

Hot. What do'ft thou mean ?

M-. Pin. Does th& Letter want a Comment ? llied
know. Sir, though I have been fo civil a Husband^
as to bring yon a Letter from my Vife, to let you
ki& and court her to my Face, I will not ba a Ow,
fcold. Sir, I will not.

Ibr, Thou art mad with Jealoofie, I never' faw thjr
. Wfe in my life, but at the Play yefterd^, and i
I know not If it were flie or no, Icbureher^ kifsheri
I JMr.Pin. I will not be a Cnckold, I fay> there wSi

te danger ioBukh)^ me a Cuckold*
' P flif.Vhri

aoS The CMmtrfm^.

Hur. Vhv, wert thou not well cnr'd of thy Uft CUp?

Mr. Tin. I wear a Sword.

iftr. It flioold be taken from ibfliB, left thoa fttoold'ff
do thy felf a MilKJiief with it, thou art mad, Mac

M-. 7in. As mad as I am, and as merry as you arei

I nwft hare taore Reafon froA yc/a. e'ec we put, I

jay agaiHi though you kiG'd, and coorted laftNi^

my Wife in Mui's Cloatlii, ofr fte confefles in her

. Letter.

Hw. Ha iA^

Mr. Pfs. Both Sie and t fay, 5-00 mufi nee defign
it again, iot yon have miftaken y«tr Woman, as yon
have done your Man.

Ber. Oh— ^lundeifland fomei^g now— —

{Aja,.

Was that thy Wife I Why wonld'f^ thou not tell me
'twas flie i Faith my^Fi«edom with her was your Fult,
not mine.

Mr. Pin. Faith, fo 'twas-*— {A/Ut.

Her. Fie, I'd never do't to a Woman before ber
Husband's Face, fure. I

'. Mr. Pw. Bat I had rather yoa Ihould do't to my |
Wife before my Face, than behind my Back, and thK
you ihall never do.

Hor. No yoa will tuader me. '

i^. Pin. If I would not tundcr yoa, yoa fee by 1
ber Letter ftie won'd. ]

H>r. Well, I muft e'en acguieJoe ihen, and becoo' |
tented with what fhe vnitei. 1

Mr. Pin. I'll affure you 'twas volactarily writ, Ihw j
no hand ia't you may b^eve me. j

Her, I do believe thee, ^th. 1

Mr, Pin. And beiieve ber toe, for flic's an lonoeort j
Creature, has no ^ifembting in her, and fo fare yoi>
WFell, Sir.

Bar. Pray, however, prefent my h&mble Serncc
to her, and tell ber I wilt obey her Letter 00 a tttilC)
and fulfill her defires, be what they will, or with
what difficulty foeveri do't, andyoalhaH bcoomo"
jealous of me; I waixanc her, andjou p—
... p^' f '*'

The Country-Wife. aop

ifefr. Tht, Well, then fare you well, and play with
any Iblan's Honour hut mine, ki&any M^n's Wife bat
.floixie, and welcome [jEwj ^r. Pinch.

Ar. Ha, hai ha, DoOor.

.^iiack. It feems he has not heard .the Rbpoit of
^OD, or does not beliere it i

Hot. Ha, ha, now Do<%or what think you ?

^«. Pray let's fee the Letter— bum— for— dear--'
love you . [ Rtaditht Litter.

Hot. I wonder how flie cou'd contrive it ! What
fiiy'il thou to'c, 'tis anOiiginal.

^». So are your Cuckolds to© Oiginals : for they
ftre like no other common Cackolds, and I will hence-
forth believe it not impoffible for you to CtukoM the
Grand Seigmor amids hfe Guards of Eunuchs, that I
iay. - — ■

H»r. And I fay for the Letter, 'tis die lirft Love-
Letter that over was without Flames, Daits, Fatei,
De&inkSy Lying and Diflbmbling in't.

Ewer Sparidfli pnSiwg in A^.Pinchwife.

Sfor. Cmio back, yon are ai>retty Brother-in-law,
neither go to Church, nor to Dinner with your Siftcc
Bride.

Mr. Tin. My Sifter denies her Marriage, and yoH
fee is gone away from ycHi diffatisfy'd.

^«r. Plfaaw, upon afooHfli Scruple, that our Par-
fon was not in Uwful Orders, and did not fay alt the
Common-Prayer, but 'tis her Modefty only 1 believe,
but let Wccnen be never fo modeft the firft Day, they'll
be isrc to ooroe to themfeWes hy Night, and 1 Iball
faffc enoagh of her then j in the mean time, Htfny
timer y you miift dine with me, I keep my Wedding
At -lay Aunts in the Piazza.

Utr. Thy Wedding! What ftale Maid has tiv'd to
de^ir of a Husband, or what young one of a G^
lant?

: Spmf. O yicitr.Senunc ^r— t-<his Gentkma&'s Si-*
flcr then — ^No fiale M^d.

P » Hw.l'm

1.10 The Ountry-Wtfe.

Her. I'm forry for't.
Mr. Fin. How comes he fo concern'd for hei>

I C^M-

Sfar. You foi'ry for*t, why do you know any iU
by her ?

Hot. No, I know none but by thee, 'tis for her Htke^
not yours, and another Man's fkke that might have
hop'd, I thought^—

Spar. Another Man, another Man, what ishisName?

Hot. Nay, fioce 'tis paftbe ihall be namelefs.
Poor Harcourtj I am fonry thoa-haft mift her-^ \_Afi^i.

Mr. Tin. He ieemt to be much troubled at the
Match iJfiJe.

Spar. Prithee tell me — nay, you fliant go Brother.

Mr. Pin. I muft of neceffity, but I'll come to yoa
to Dinner, {^Exit Pinchwifo.

Spar. ButH«n7, wbathave I a Rival in my Wife al-
ready ? But withal my Heart, for he ma^ be of nfe
to me hereafter, for though my Hunger is now my
Sawce, and I can fall on heanily- without, but the
time will come, when a Rival will be as good Sawce
for a married Man to a Wife, as an Orange to Veal.

Hot. O thou damn'd Rogue, thou haft fet my
Teeth on edge with thy Orange.

Spar. Then let's to Dinner, there I was with yoi
again, come.

Her. But who dines with thee ?

Spar. My Friends and Relations, my Bcothei Piacb-
wifit you fee, of your Acquaintance.

Hor. And his Wife.

Spar. No, 'gad, he'll ne'ec let her come amongfi us
good Fellows, your ftingy Conncry Coxcomb keeps
his Wife from his Friends, as he does his little Firkia
of Ale, for his own drinking, and a Gentleman can't
getalinack on't, but his Servants, when his Back. is
turn'd, broach it at their Pleafnres, and duft it away,
ha, ha, ha, 'gad I am witty I thmk, coolidering I w6b
married to Day, by the World, but come-^—

Her. No, I will not dine with you, unlefe you can
fetch her too.

the Country-Wife. 1 1 1

. Sf^* PHuw, what Pleafure can'ft thou have with
Women now, Harry ?

Ber. My Eyes arc not gone, I love a good ProfpcA
yet, and will not dine with yon^ unlefs Jlie does too,
go fetch her therefore, but do not tell her Hosband,
,cis for my fake.

Spar. Well, I'll gatry what I can do, in the mean
time come away to my Aunt's Lodging, 'tis in the
way to Vmcbwifei.

Hot. The poor Woman has call'd for aid, and
fireich'd forth her Hand, Do^r, I cannot but help
her over the Pate ouc of the Bryars.

{^Exeunt Spaikifh, Horner, Qtack.

The Scene cbangei to Pinchwife'j ffoufe.

Mrt. Finchwife alone leaning en btr Elhiw. | A Tahle, ^

'Pen, Ink, anJ Paper.

Mrs. Pin. Well 'tis e'en fo, I have got the London
Difeafe, they call Love, I am fick of my Husband,
and for my Gallant j I have heard this Diflemper,
' caird a Fever, bnt methinks 'tis liker an Ague, for
when I think of my Husband, I tremble, and am in
a cold Sweat, and have Inclinations to vomit, but
when I think of my Gallant, dear Mr. Hmttr, my hoc
Fit comes, and I am all in a Fever, indeed, and as
in other Fevers, my own Chamber is tedious to me,
and I would fain be remov'd to his, and then methinks
1 (hon'd be well j ah poor Mr. Homer, well I cannot,
will not flay here, therefore I'll make an end of my
Letter to him, which (hall be a liner Letter than my
laft, becaufe I have ftudled it like any thing; O Sick^
Sick I [ Takes the Fen and writeu

Enter Mr. Pinchwife, who feeing ber writing, fieali fi^lf

behind her^ and looking over ber Shoulder, fnattbet the P<i^

ftrfrom btr.

Mr. Pin. What, writing more Letters ?

Mrs. Pin. O Lord, Bud, J Sbe offers to run mt : Bt
why d'ye fright me fo ? \ fiofi btr, and reads.

Afr.Pin. How's this ! Nay, yon ihall not ftir, Madam.
P 3 Dwr,

2,1 1 TbeCtuHtry Wife,

Dear, dear, dear Mr. Httnur—'Vcry wdl--IhatetaQghi

you to write Letters to good purpofc— but let's fee't.

FirA I am to beg yoar Pardon for my Boldaefs in
writing to you, which I'd have yon to know I wooM
not have done, had aot you faid firft you lov'd me fo
extremely, which if you do, you will never fofier im
to lie in the Arms of another Man, whom I loatb>

nanfeate, and detefl: [ Now you can write tbefe

filthy words] but what follows— — Therefore, I hopt
you will fpeedily find fome way to free me from this
unfortunate Match, which was nerer, I afltire yon,
of my Choice, but I'm afraid 'lisalready too fargone;
however, if you love me, as I do you, yon will ity
what you can do, but you mufl help me aw^y before
to morrow, or elfe alas I Ihall be for ever out of your
reach, for I can defer no longer our— —onr—— what
is to follow our— — --fpcak what? Oar Journey
into [2<&« Letter cenekia.

the Country I ruppofe— Oh Woman, damn'd Wo-
man, and Love, damn'd Love, their old Tempter, for
this IS one of his Miracles, in a Moment hecaomakt
thofe blind that cou'd fee, and thofe fee that were
blind, thofe dumb that could fpeak, and thofe prattle
who were dumb before, nay, what is more than all,
make thefe dow-bak'd, fenQeO, indocile Animalsj
Women, too bard for us their Politick Lords and Ru-
lers in a Moment ; Bat make an end of your Letter,
and then I'll make an end of you thus, and all my
Plagues together. [ Draws his Swori.

A*-j.Pi«..OLord, Q Lord you are fnch a Paf
fionate Manj Bud.

Ettitr Sparki/L.

Sfar. How now, what's here to do ?

Mr. Pin. This Fool here now !

Spar. What, drawn upon your Wife? Yoo (hw^
never do that, but at Night in the dark, when y""
can't hurt her, this is my Siller-in-law, is it not ? AVj
faith e'en our Country Margny, \_VuUs aftit hrUtni-
keroiief^l one qiay knowhw, come fbe and yo%tsfi»

The CimtrrWiJil - ii}

go dine with ffle, Dinner's ready, come^ bat Where's
my Wife, is Ihe not come home yet, where is Jhe ? \

Ur. tin. Making you a Cncltold, 'lis that they all
dOj as foon as they can.

Sfar. What the Wedding day > No, a Wife that de-;
liens to malce a Cully of her Husband, will be fure to
let him win the firft flake of Love, by the World, but
come they flay Dinner for us, come I'll lead down ont

Mri. P«». No Kr go, we'll follow you.

Spur, I wiH not wag without yon.

«r. Pin. This Coxcomb is a fenfible Torment to me
amidft the greateft in the World.

Sf»T. Come, come Madam Margerf,

Mr. Pi,. No, I'll lead her my way, r j.^,,, j^ ,„ ,.„j„
what wou'd you treat your Friends » ^^ j^j,

with mine, for want of your own ) j^.„^„i,^_
Wile? I

1 am contented my Rage fhou'd take Breath— [4»*.

Sfae. I told Bomtr this.

Mr. Tm. Come bow.

Sptr. Lord, how Ihye you are of your Wife; htt
let me tell you Brother, we Men of Wit have amongS
US a Saying, that Cuckolding like the fmall Pox comes
with a Fear, and you may keep your Wife as niMh ai
yoa will out of danger of Infedion, but if her Coa-
BitutioBindine her to't, iWH have it ibonei or later
by the World, fay they.
Mr.Vin. What a thing is a Cuckold, that eveiy

Fool can make him ridiculous [ 4*"-

Wen Sit But let me adf ife you, now yon ate come

to be concem'd, becaufe you fufpeft the Dangef, not
to ileglea the Moans to prevent it, efpedally when
the greateft flare of the Malady wiU ligte Ujpaa yom
own Head, for '

HowTere the kted Wife's Belly como to fwcH,
The Husband breeds for her, »nd fim is lU;

J. 4 ACT,

»I4 ^' CtimtnWfe.

ACT V. SCENE I.

Mr. PinchwifcV Houfe.

Baer Mr. Pinchwife mi Jt/r/.PinchWife.

ATahU mUCmtiU.

^.Pm-^^Ome, take the Pen and makeaneodot

V^ the Letter, jufl as you intended j if you

are falfe in a tittle^ I {hall foon perceive it, and pun*

Uh you with this as you deferve, [ Laji bis Hmd m hii

SworJ,"] write what was to fotlowi let's fee— —t

[You tnuft make hafie and help, me away before to
moFTOw, or elfe 1 ihall be for ever ont of yout leach,
for I can defer no longer our-— ^] What follow
our?- —

Aft-/. Tm. Muft all out then iAirs. Pinch, taiu tbc
Bad?— Look you there then. I Pe» and writes.

Afr. Pi«. Let's fee — [For X can defer no longer
our^Wedding — Your flighted AUtiea^ Whaf's the
aieaiiing of thu, my SHler's Name (o't, fpe^k, vn^
riddle ?

Mrs. Tin. Yes indeed. Bud.

A^.Pw. But why her Name to'c, fpeak'-^— fpeak,
Ifiy?

A/m. Pm. Ay, but youll tell her then again, if you
^n'd not tell her again.

Mr. Vim. I mil not, I am flunn'd, my Head tnnu
ropn^, fpeak.
' MM,TiH. Won't you tell her indeed, and indeed.

Mr. Fin. No, fpeak, I fay.

Mrs. Pin. She'll be angry with me, hot I had rather
file fiioutd he angry with ipe, than you Bud } and to
tell yon the truth, 'twas flie made me write the Let-
ter, and taught nie what I Ihonld write.

Afr- Pm. Hft' — [I thought the Stile was fotnewhat
better thaA her oyn,] (AfiJe.) ^ou'd Ihe copieto
vou to teach you, lince Z had lock'd you up alone ?

^t. Pith O ^oufih (he Key-hole, ^^i.

I

The Ctuntry-^fel iij

Mr.Fin. But why ftiou'd ihe makp yon write a Letj
ter for hei to him, fince ihe can write her felf ?

Afrj. Tim Why Ibe Had becanfe for 1 was ita^^

wiUing to do it.

Mr,Vin- Becanfe what— becaufe

Airi. Tin- Becaufe lefi Mr. Uornar (hould be crueT,
and refnfe her, or vain afcerwyds, and fhew the Letr
ter, ihe might difown it, the Haad not being hers.

Afr.pM. How's this? ha then I think I fliall

come CO my felf again— —This Changeling cou'd noc
Invent chb Lye, bat if ihe cou'd, why fliou'd ihe?

She nrighc thiak I flionld foon difcover it Aay

now I uifaik on't too. Hmur faid he was forry ihe had
punicd Sfitrh^f and her difowning her Marriage to
nie, nislces me tlUnk the has evaded it, for Homer ji
fake, yet why Ihqiild ihe take this Courfe ? But Men
in Love are Fools, Women may_ well be fo— XAJide.
Bat hark you, Madam, your Sifter went out In the
Morning, and I have not ieenher within fmce.

Mrf. Ttm. Alacji a day, ihe has been crying all Day
above it feems in a Corner.

Mu Pin. Where is ihe, let me fpeak with her.

Atri. Pin. O Lord, then flie'U difcover all— IjISJe:
pray hold Bod, what d'ye mean to difcover me, ibeli
know I have told you then, pray Bud let me talk
with her firft

M"- ff»' I mufi fpeak with her^ to know, whether
H/rnir ever made her ^y Promife ,* and whether Ihe
be married to Sparkift) or no.

Mts. Tin. Pray, dear Bud don'tj 'till I have fpoken
with her, and told het that I have told you all, for
(hell kill me elfc.

Mr. Pin. Go then, and bid her come out to me.

^rt. Pin. Yes, yes Bud-— u-

Mr. Pin. Let me fee

Mrt. Tin. I'll go, but Ifae is not within to conie to
him, I have juit got time to know of Lw^ her Maid,
who firft fet me on work, what Lye I ihall tell next,
for I am e'en at my Wits end— lExit Mrf. Piqchwife.

Mr. Pill. Well,

%i6 The CouHtryWifi.

' Mr. Tii'. Well, I refolre it, Homtr fhalt luTe ti^
I'd rather give him my Sifter, than lend him my Wife,
and (bch an Alliance will prevent his PretenHoDS to

my Wife fure, I'll make him of kin to her, and

then he won't care for her. [ Afrf.Pinchwife rttmu,

Mrs. Pin. O Lord, Bud, I totd yoo what anger yoi
wonld make me with my Sifter.

Mr. Pin. Won't fho come hither ?

Mrt.Pin. No, no, 9lack-a-clay, fhe'salham'd tolook
you in the Face, and {he fays, if you go in to her,
fliell mn away down Stairs, and-ftamefuHy go her
iclf to Mr. Hormr^ who has promis'd her Marriage llic
fays, and fhe will have no other, fo fhe won't

Mr. Tin, Did he fg promifc her Marriage—

then fhe fhall have no pther, go tell her fo, and if flu
will come and difconffe with me a Htcte concemiog

the means, I will about it immediately, go ■

[FKtf JWn.Pinchwife.
.His Eftate is equal to S^riifh\ and his Extraaioo as
tainch better than Tiis, as his Pans are, bat my chief
Reafon i^ I'd jathcr be of kin to hira by the Name

of Brother- in-law, than that of Cuckold '—

-Wen what fays fte now ?

Mrs. Pin. Why (he' fays fhe would only have you

lead her to Hbr»er's Lodging with whom fhe fi™

will difcourfe the Matter before fhe talks with you,
.which yet Ihe cannot do; for alack poor Crea-
ture, fhe fays fhe can't fo much as look you in the
Face,^ therefore fhe'll come to you in a Mask, and
you mult excufe her if fhe make you no anfwei to
any Queftion of yours, 'till you have brought her to
Mr. Hama, and if you will not chide her, nor que-
ftion her, fhe'U come put to you immediately.

Mr. Pin. Let her come j 1 will not fpeak a word to
. her, nor require a word from her.

Mrs. Pin. Oh, I forgot, befides fhe fays, fhe cannot
look yoo in the Face, tho' through a Mask, therefore
wou'd defire you to put oat the Candle.

Mr. Pin. I agree to all, let her KExit A^s.Pinchm«-
mkft baft^-^eie 'ti^ ouc-^My i p»ti out tbt C<«^

The CMtntrf'^tfe, Jx^

Cafe is femddiiog better, Vd athw 6^ vith Hiriier;
for not lyiirg with my Stftec, than for lying wiih my-
Wife, and of the two, I had rather find my Sifted too
forward, than my Wife ; I expeaed no other from
her free Edacation, asfliecalbit, and her PaOioQ for
the Town— well — Wife and Sifter are Names which
nuke m expedLove and Doty, Pleainre and Comfort
bnc we find 'em Flagies and Torments, and are equal^
ly, tho' diileremly troufakfome to their Keeper • for
we have as much ado to gee People to lye with' out
^ften, as to keep 'em from lying with oar Vivest
Enttr Mrs. Pinchwife Masked, and in Haeds and Starvtt^-

and a Nigbt-gown and Petticoai cf Alicheas, in the datk.
What are tob come Sifter? Lee as go then — -hue Grft
lecmelockTipmy Wife. Mn,JU«7;g«7,whereareyon?
J^LVm. Here Bud.

Mr. Pin. Come hkher, that I may bck iUtls th
younp^getyoain. Come SiAerj where are 2 Z>m*
yoaaow?

[ M's. Pidch. ghrt Bim btr UaaJ, hia wbm i» Ufi
bergOf (hefieal fifth en t'othar JUe efhim, amtik
lead away hy bimfir bit Sifitr Alithea.]

The Sent changes to Homer / Lodging.

Quack, Homer.

^. What all alone, not fo much as one of youc
Cuckolds herej noe one of their WItas! Thoy oft tp<^
take their turns with yov, at if they were to wsuoh yott.

Her. Yes it often happens, that a Cnckold is but his
Wife's S[ne, and is more upon Family Duty, when he
if with her Gallant abroad hindringhis^PIeafore, thao
when he is at homo with her plying the Gallaiw, Sat
the herdeft Duty a married Woman impofts uptjn a
Lover, is keeping her Hcsband company always

^. And his Fondnels weaiies you almoftr as ftfOA
as hers.

Her. A Pox, keeping a Cuckold company after yon
bavD bad his Wife, ii as tiicfome at the Compuiy of

»Gosft-

tig The CnMtiy-f^fe:

a Ccndtrir Squire to a witty Fellow of the Tom}

when he has got all hk Money.

^ And as ac firft a Man makes a Friend of the
Husbuid to get the Wife, fo at laft you are fain to M
out with the Wife to be rid of the Hosband.

Hor. Ay, moft Cuckold'tnakers are true Conitiei^
when once a poor Man has crack'd his Credit for 'eiiii
they can't abide to come near him.

^. But at firft to draw him in are fo fweet, fo kind,
fo dear, juft as yea are to Ptacbwiftf but what becomei
of that Intrigue with his Wife ?

Her. A Pox, he's as furly a^an Alderman that has
been bit, and Unce he's fo coy, his Wife's Kindnefsis
in Tain, for /he's a filly Innocent.

j^. Did flie not fend you a Letter by him ?

Her. Yes, but that's a Riddle I hare not yet folv'd—
allow the poor Creature to be willing, ilie is fitly too,
and he keeps her up fo clofe

^. Yesj fo dole that he makes her bat the more
willing, and adds but Revenge to her Lore, wliicti
two when met feldom fail of fatisfytng eai^ other
^one way or other.

|£rr. What here's the Man we are talking of I think.

■ Eater Mr. Pinchwlfe Itaditig in hit Wift masked^, mi^,

and in her Sijter't Go^vn.

, Hor. PJhaw.

. ^. Bringing his Wife to yoa is the next tbiug to

>rin^ng a Love-Letter from her.

^: What means this ?

A^. Vin, The lalt time you know. Sir, I brou^
yoR a Love-Letter, now yon fee a Miftrefs, I think
you'll, fay I am a civil Man to you.
i. Her. Ay, the Devil take me will I fay thou art rfw
cirilleft Man I ever met with, and I have, fcnowa
jlbinxe j I fancy, I un^rftand thee now, better than I
did the Letter, but hark thee in thy Ear— —
. Air- Pi"' What ?

■ Her. Nothing but the ufual qaeftion M«Oj » »*
fowd Oft thy Word? c^ 3*.?!*'

The CmttrrWije. iiy

lif^. Tin, Vhat yon take het for a Vencli, aiid me
fiff a Pimp ?

H0r. Plhaw, Wench a&d Pimp, paw wonb, I know
thou art an honeft Fellow, and haft a great Acqaain-*
tance among the Ladies, and perhaps, haft made Love
for Ae, rather than let me nu^e Love to thy Wife—

J^. Pia. Come, Sir, in fliorc, I am for no footing.

Hot. Nor I nuther, therefore, prithee let's fee her
Fat;e prefently, make her fhoW Man, art thou fare
I don t know her ?

A^. Pin. I am fure yon do Icnow her.

Hifr. A Pox, why dofl thou bring her to me then i

Mr. Php. Becaufe fhe's a Relation of mine.

Hot. Is ihe faith Man, then thou art ftill more dfil
and obliging, dear Rogue.

A^. pin. Who defir'd me to bring her to yon.

£for. Then fiie is obliging, dear Rogue.

Adr. Pin. You'll make her welcome for my fake I
hope.

Hot. I hope 0ie is handfome enough to make her
felf welcome ; prithee lee her unmask.

Mr. Pin. Do yon fpeak to her, fhe won'd never be
rul d by be.

Hot. Madam [ Mrs. Pinch, v/bifftrpto Hor.

She fays Oie muft fpeak with me in private, withdraw
prithee.

Mr. Pin. She's unwilling it feems I fliou'd know all
her undecent Condui!^ in this Bufinefs— — {^JfiJi.
Well then I'll leave you together, and hope when I
am gone yon'U agree, if not you and I Ihan't agree,

f£ir. What means the Fool > if ihe and I agree

'tis no matter what you and I da

[ Whiff ers to Mrs. Pin. wbo mahs Sigtlt

with biT Hand for ium to kt gamt, '

Mr. Pin. In the mean time I'll fetch a Parfon, and

find out Sfarkijbj and difabufe him.

Yon won d have me fetch a Parfon, would yon not,

well then— —Now I think I am rid of her, and ifaall

have no mote tzoable with her^^^^Otir Stfteriand

Daughter*

no TbeCoHHtry-Wtfe.

Danglers like Uferecs Money, ve fiifeA, whefl pat
out j boc oar Wives, like their Writings, nererfsfej bat
teonr Clofets under lj>d[ and Key. {EmtAir^^'m,

Emer Boy.

B^. Sir jf</f n- iWf ef) Sir, is coming up.

Htr. Here's die trouble of a Cuckold^ now we are
talking of, a Pox on him, has he not enongh to do
to binder his Wife's fport, but he muft other Women's
too.— —Step in here. Madam. [Exit Mrs. Pio.

Ewttr Sir Jifyer.

Sr. Jaf. My befl and deareft Friend.

Hirr.. The oldStiic, DoiSor

Well be fliort, for I am bnfie, what would your im*
pNtinent Wife have now ?

Sr. Jaf. Well guefs'd y' faith, for I do come from ho,

Htr. ToinvitemetDSapper,teUberIcan'tcome,go.

Sr.Jaf. Nay, now you are-ouc, &itb, for my IJdy
and tbe whole Knqt of the virtuoas Gang, as ^
call themfelres, are refolv'd upon a Frolick of coming
to yon to Night in Mafqaeradej and are all dien
wbtady.

Her. I Ihan't be at home.

5r. J^. Lord, how charlifii he is to Women — ;
Jiay, pray thee don't difappatnc 'em, they'll thinJc 'id
my Fanlc, pi'ythee don't, ill fend in the Banquet and
Aa Fiddks, ^t make no Noife on't, fiar the poor fi^
tuous Rogues would not have it known for tbe WocU,
dm tkey go a Masquerading, and they would come
to no Man's Bail, but yours.

. Bar. Well, wetl-^— get yon gone, and tell 'em il
they come, 'twill be at the Peril of their Honour and
lyouts.

Sr. Jaf. Heh, he, be well tmft you fia- tte,

.fimweU [fi* 5«r Jarfpet'

Her. Dodoranon yon too fliiU beny Gae&
Bdc now rmgeiog to a primventi

7** Viimtrj-Wtje, a»»

Tht Scene changes t$ the Piazza ef Covcnc-GsrdeQ. '

Sparkiih, Pinchwife.

Sptr. But who would have t Spar, whb the Lei^
thonghc a Woman could have l ttr in b'n Hand.
been fialfe to mcj by the World, I could not hare
thonght it.

Air. Tin. Yon were for giving and taking Liberty,
flie has taken it only Sir, now you find in that Letter,
you are a frank Perfon, and fo is Aie you fee there.
Sfar. Nay, if this be her Hand— for I never fawit. .
Mr. Tin. Tis no matter whether that be her Hand
or nOj I am fure this Hand at her defire led her to
Mr. Herarr, with whom I left her juft now, to go
fetch a Parfon to 'em at their defire too, to deprive
yea of her for ever, for it feems yours was but a
Mock-marriage.

S^ar. Indeed, fte" won'd needs have it that 'twas
Harcourt himfelf in a Parfon's Habit, that married us,
but I'm fute he told me 'twas his Brother Nid.

Mr. Tin. O, there 'tis out, and you were deceiv'd
not fte, for yon are fach a franjt Perfon— but I muft
be gone— youll find her at Mr. Horner\ go and be-
Keve your Eyes. [ Exit A&.Fin.

Sfar. Nay I'll to her, and call her as many Croco-
diles, SirenSjHarpies, and other heathenifh Names,asa.
Poet would do a Miftrefs, who had refus'd to hear hb
Suit, hay more his Verfes on her.
But ftay, is not that fl»e following a Torch at t'other
end of the Piasma, and from Hermr's certainly——
'risfo .

Enter AMihckfoSowing a Toreh^ and Lacy iebind. ; .

You are well met. Madam, though you don't thislt
fo J what you tuve nude a &ojc ViTk to Mr. Hamtr,
but, I fuppofe, youH return to him prefeotly, by thai
Ume the Pacfon cao bo with him
Jiitb. Mr. Htrntr, and the Parfon, Sir'

Sfir. Come,

lit the CouHtryWifi.

Sfttr, ComCj Madam, no more diitembting, no
more jUdng, for I am no more a frank Ferfon.

Alitb. How's this.

Luey, Sp, 'twill work X fee ^ t'^fiit.

^far. Ccu'd you find out no eafie Country Fool to
abafe ? None but me, a Gentleman of Wit and Plea-
fare about the Town, but it was your pride to be to6
hard for a Man of Parts, unworthy faUe Womaflj &lfe
as a Friend that lends a Man Money to lofe, falfe as
Dice, who undo thofe that truft all they have to 'em.

Lucy. He has been a great Babble by his Similies
as they fay—— [ A^,

Alitb. You have been too merry, Sir, at your Wed*
ding Dinner fure.

Sfar. What d'ye mock me too ?

'AUtb. Or you have been deluded.

Sfar. By you.

Alitb. Let me underftand you.

Sfar. Have you the Confidence, I fhould call it
fomething elfe, fince you know your guile, (o Itand
my juft Reproaches ? You did not write an impudent
Letter to Mr. Homer ^ who I find now has clnb'd with
you in deluding me with his Averfion for Women, that
I might not forfooth fufped: him for my Rival.

Ltuy. D'ye think the Gentleman can 'be Jealous
now. Madam — [^AfiJe.

Aliti. I write a Letter to Mr. Homtr !
■ Spar. Nay, Madam, do not deny it, your Brother
fliew'd it me juft now, and told me likewife be left
you at Homer's Lodging to fetch a Parfon, to niariy
you to him, and I wifn ^ou joyj Madam, joy, jciy>
and to him too, much joy, and to my felf nlore joy
for not marrying you.

AlUb- So I nnd my Brother would break off the
Match, and I can confent to't, fmce I fee this Gen-
tleman can be made jealous. £ A_^^
O Lmcy, by his rude Ufage and Jealoufie, he makes
me almoft afraid I am married to him, art thou
lore 'twas Httreourt himfelf, and no Parfon that mar-
ried ui.
■ ' Sfor, No,

The CoimtryWife. xi;

Sf^- No> Madanij I thank you, I fuppofe, that
was a Contrivance coo of Mr. Horner's and yours, to
make Harcourt play the Parfon, but I would as Uctle as
yoa h^ve hisi one now, no not for the WoeM ; for
iballl tell yoji another Truth, IneverbadaayPaffion
for you, 'till now, for how X hate you j 'tis true, I
nugfat have foarrieid yonr Portion, as othe^ Men of
Parts of the Town do Ibmetimes, and fo your Su-
^^Bt, and:toihew my iui<»)ncernedoe&, i'U come to

ro^r Weddine, and refign you with as moch -joy, as
would a flaie Wench to a new Cully, nay, with as
jnodi joy at I would after the firfl: Night, if I hid
been married to you, there's for you, and fo your
Senvanc, Servant. [Exit Spar.

Aiitb. How was I deceiv'd ih a Man !

Jjicj. You'll believe then a Fool may be made jaa>
Jons nctw ? for that Ealinefs in him that fufiers him to
be led by a Wife, will Ukewife permit him to be pei-
fwaded againft her by others.

Aittb. Bnt marry Mr. Hmw, my Brother does not
.intouiic fure; if I thought he did, I would take
.thy Advice, and Mr. Haxfimrt for my Husband j and
nam I.wifh, that if there be any over-wife Woman
of the Town, who like me would marry a Fool, for
Fortane, Liberty, or "Title j firft, that her Husband
may , love Pky, and beaCuUyto all the Town, but
iwr, jaadifiiff«.none Ixit Fortune to be MiAreG of his
Pnrfe j then if for Liberty, that he may fend her in-
to the Country, under'die'Coodu& of fomehoufe-
wifely Mothcr-in-Iaw j and if for Title, fnay tho
Worldi^ve-'iMn none but^thatof Quckold.

Lmy. And for her greater Guife, Madam, may he
not defentfrit.

•Abth. Away impertinent— ^-^is not this my old La-
dy Lmitfiiu t

Lucy. Yes, Madam. [And here I hope we ihall

find Mr. Hamm ; [ Jfule,

{_ExtHnt AIL Lucy.

114 The Country Wife.

The Scene changes again to Horner'j Lodging.

Horner, Lady Fidget, Mn, Dainty Fidget, Mrs.
Squeamiib, a TakU, Ba»<^Htt, aaj Bottles.

Hot. a Pox, they are come too foon before I

- have fent back my new Miftrefs, all I hare

now CO do, is to lock her in, that they may not fee
her — . — lAfidt,

L». fU. That we may be fure of our welcome, we
: have brought our Entertainment with us, and arer^
folv'd to treat thee, dear Toad.

Dmh. And that we may be merry to parpofe, have
left Sir J''ffir and my old Lady S^iiieamijh quarrelling
at home at Baggammon.

■S^uedm. Therefore let us make nfe of onr time,
left they Qio\x\d chance to interrupt as.

La. Fid. Let us fit then.

Hot. Firft, that you may be private, let me lock
this Door, and that, and I'll wait upon you prefendy.

La. Fid. No, Sir, Ihut 'em only and your lips for
ever, for we muft truft you as much as our Women.

Hor. You know ail Vanity's kill'd inmft, 1 have do
occafion for talking.

La. BJ. Now, Indies, fuppofing we had drank each
of us our two Bottles, let us fpeak the Tru& of our
' Hearts.

Dain. anAS^iuam. Agreed.

La. Ffd. By this Brimmer, for Truth is no wbeie
elfe to be found, [ Not in thy Heart falfe Man.

r ^/«i' tt Hor.

Hor. You have found me a true Man I'm. fure.

l-jifiJe to Laij Fid.

La. Fid. Not every way [ Afide to Hor.

But let us fit and be mcrty. ,

D3Nz^:;,.C.OO<iIc

TU Cwntry-Wife.
LaJy Fidget ftnis.

Wiyf ^ottU 6ifr damnd Txrantt eilige us to live ■
6b ibt Pittanct of PUafure which the} onlj givt f

ffn mufi mt reioyce^

With Wint and with Nmfe.
In vain we mufi vie in a JuB Bfd alette^
fpiiljfto OHT warm Rival the Bottle^ thtfre ffmei

Then lay ajUe tharmSf. '

And take uf ibtft ^hmi. * * The Glafleit.

■ *^t Wini enlj givti 'em their Courage andfPit,
Becaufe we live febtr to Men we fuhmi.

^ for Beautieijoudfaff,

Take a lick of the btafi.,
*Twill mend jeur CotBfleBiont^ ^pid when they are gone f
the befi Red we have is_ the Red if the ^rafe.

Then Sifiers lajt «f,.

jM iarnn a good Sha^.'

, Pain, pear Brimmer, well.in Token of ou|: Op^-
iie& and Plam-dealug^ let ns throw our Maslc's over
onr Heads. , , „ , - ,

Hor. So 'twill come to ttie Glalles anon.

Squeam. Lorely Bntnmer,^ let ^e enjoy him firft.
, La. FtB. No, I never part with s Gallant, 'till I'v^
try'd him, Pear Brimmer tlia't maKeft oiir Hutbabdi
(hort-iighted. , . . ,

pain. And our bafhJFul Gallants bold.' . , ,
. Sfutam. Am^ for v^int of a Gallant, the Bdtler lord-
ly in our Eyes, d^nkEiihuch. . ,

fui. Ftd. Drink tbbii Kepre^nta'tlre of a Husband,
damn a Husband. . , , ,

Pdht, And as it were a lliubanclj an old Kleeper.

a*« the Oimtri-Wife.

S^uesm. And an old Grandmother.

Hot. Aad an EtigUfli Bawd^ and a Frauh Surgeon.'

La. Fid. Ay, We have all Reafon to cnrfe 'em.

Hor. For my fake Ladies.

La. FiJ. Noj for our oWD, for the fiift fpoils alt
young Gallants Indoftry.

Dain. And the other's Ait nukes *em hsAi only
with common Women.

S^Ktam. And rather ran the Hazard of the vile Di-
fiemper amongft them, than of- a t>enia1 amongft us.

Dain. The hichy Toads chufe MiflreAes now, as
they do Scuffs, for ha?ing been fancy'd and worn by
othen.

Sjueam. For being common and cheap.

La.FtJ. Whilll Women of Qoaliiy, like the richefi
SttiSsj lie nntnmbledj and unask'd for.

Hot. Ay, neat, and cheap, and hew, often they
think beft. _,

DaUi. No, Sir, the Beafb ^nll be icnown by a Mi-
ilrefs longer than by a Suit.

Squedm. And 'tis not for Gheapnefs neither.

La. Ftd. 'So, 'for the vain Fops will take Dp Drag-
gets, and embroider 'em : botlwonder at tbedepra- ,
ved Appetites of witty Men, they ufe to be out of
the common Road, and hate Imitation ; pray tell me i
Beaft, Whenyou were'a Man, why'you rathercbofe
to'cIiibwUh aMiiltltUdein -a -common Houfe, foran ,
Entertainment, than to be the only Gucft at a good
Table. , ." ■

Bw. Why, felfh, Ceretnony and Expciaation are
uhfijfferaWe'fQ tli6fb that dfft Ihirp tetlt. People al-
Vays ddt With 'fhe' beft Stolflffach at 'Sh Ordinary,
where every Man is fnatching for the beft Bit.
. La. Fid. Though hegetaCT!:oT6r'(he*FiMgers-*—
bljt I haYe hfeard 'Pfeopie eat moft bfiartily ofztiiHat
M?n's,^eat,. that, is, what they iSonOt pdy'fbr.

Titr. iVhdn 'they are "fure of their Weicortie and
Freedom, for Ceiemony in Love And Easing, is n
ridiciiToiis as'ib tightin^, felUftg On ■ briskly "&»«
fiipuld be done in thofe Occafions.

La.FilVt\\f

Tbe Oimtry-Wtfe: %xj

IaFU. Well, then lee me tell you. Sir, there is
no where more Freedom than in our Houfes, and
«e take Freedom from a young PeHon as a Sign of
good Breeding, and a Perfon may be as free as he
pleafes with us, as frolick, as gamefbme, as wild at
he will.

Hor. Han'c I heacd you all decl^m aeainft wild
Men. ■

La. Fid. Yes, but for all that, we think VUdnefs ii^
a Man, as defirable a Quality, as in. a.£)nck, ot Rab-
bet ; a tame M^t^. foh.

itor. I know not, b^t your RepntaUons frigbtoedr
me, as much as your Faces inrited me.

L0. Ftd» Que Repatatioo, Lord ! W^ ftiould yon
not think, tha( we W^omen make ufe oi our 'ftquua>
ttoa, 8f you Me« of ^ours, oqly to deceive the
World with kfs S^fpii^iwi ; our Virtue is like tha
Staie-man's Reli^on, the Quaker's Word, the Game-
fter's Oath, and thp G^eat Man's Honour, but to cheac
thofe that truft us.

Stfueam Ancl th«c Dennrenefs, C<^»fi, and Mo-'
defty, that you fee in oux F^ces in the Boxes at
Plays, is a,s much n Sign of a kind Woman, as a Vi-
zard-iqask in thfi PU.

D4^ For I afTut^y.oUg Women are leaft nwk'd,
whQn thy have the Velvet Vizard on.

Ls. Bd, You wou'd ha;Te found us modeft Womea
i« ovr pQotals only.

Sv*tMn. Ow Gafhfulnsfs is only the Reflexion of
the Men's.
. V^in, We blnfh, when they are fliame-fec'd.

ifor. I beg your Pardon I.adies, I was deceiv'd in
yon deviliihly j but why, that mighty Pretence to
HOQ^nr i

La. Fid. Ve hare told you ; but fbmetimes 'twas
for the faige c^^ you Men pretend Bufinefs o&co,
to avoid ill Company,' to enjoy the bettor, and moi^
prtTatcly tboftyau lore,

15,8 The Country Wife.

Hot. But why, wbu'd Jou ne'br give a FrieniJ a
Wink then ? . . - .

La.Fid. Faith, your Reputation frigbtnecl us as
much, - as ottrs did you, you were fo notorioafly
lewd.

Hor. And you fo feemingly honeft.

£4. Fid. Was that all that deterr'if yoa ?

H(^. And fo expenfive-^— — you allow Frtcdpra
you fiy. ■ ' ■ '

.La.Ftd. Ay, ay.

Her. That I was afraid of lofing ray Htcle Money, as
wettas tny little dnfe, both which ^y cfther Pleafures
required.

La.'FU. Money, fob you talk like a little Fel-
low iww, do fuch as rfeexped Money ? ' '
-Hof.'I beg ybur^Pardon, Madam, I muft confcfs,
ihave heard that gr^c Ladies, like great Merchants,
fet but the higher Prizes updn what they have, be*
caufe they are not in neceffity of taking the ficft
Offer.

Dii'm. Such as we make fale of our Hearts ?
. S<futam, We brib'd for otlrLove ? Fob,
• Hor. With your pardon. Ladies, I know, like great
Men in Offices, you feem to exa<a Flattery and At-
tendance only from your Followers ; but yoH have
Receivers about you, and fuch Fees to pay, a Mart
is afraid to pafs your Grants j befides we muft let you
win at Cards, or we lofe your Hearts ^ and if yoB
make an Affignatiori, 'tis at a Goldfmiihs, Jewellers,
or China- houfe, where for your Honour, ybu depo-
iite to him, he muft pawn his, to the punanal Citt,
and fo paying for what you take up, pays for what he
takes up. ■ ...

Dain. Wou'd you not have us affiir'd of our Gal-
lants Lore ?

S^ueam- For Love is better known by Liberality,
than by Jealonlie.

La. Fid. For one may be diffembled, the other
not— —but my Jealoufie can be no longer diffembled,
andthey are telling ripe. ^ , - [4^*

ComB

The CountrfWife. , ii^

Come here's to our Gallants in waitiag, whom we
mnfl name, and rUbegia^ this is niy falfe Rogue.

[ Clafs him en the Back,

S^ueam. How!

Hor. So all will out now

S^ueam. Did you not tell me, 'twas for my fake
only, yoa reported your felf no Man ?

[ y^JiJe to Horner.

Dam. Oh Wretch I Did you not fwear to me, 'twas
for my Love, and Honour, yon pafs'd for that thing
you do ? I Afidt to Horner.

Her. So, fo.

La. Ftd. Come, fpeakj . Ladies, this is my falfe .
VUlaia.

S^utam. And mine too.

Vain. And mine.

Hiv. Well then, you are all three thy ^Ife Rogues
too, and there's an end on't.

La. Fid. Well then, there's no Remedy, Sifter fha-
rers, let us not fall out, but have a care of our Hch
nour ; though we get no Prefents, no Jewels of him,
we are favers of our Honour, the Jewel of moft va-
lue and ufe, which fhines yet to the World unfufpe-
ded, though it be counterfeit.

Her. Nay, and is e'en as good as if it were true,
provided the World think fo ; for Honour, like Beau-
ty now, only depends on the Opinion of others.

La. Fid. Well Harry Common, I hope you can be
true to three, fwear, but 'tii to no purpofe, to re-
quire your Oath ; for you are as often forfworn, as
you fwear to new Women.

Hor. Come, faith. Madam, let us e'en pardon
one another, for all the difference I find t>etwi:tc
we Men, and yon Women, we forfwear our felves
at the beginning of an Amour, you, as long as ie
Ijtfli.

Q 4 Evfir

D,l,z.:;,. Google

130 the Contry-Wf/f.

Strtfl* ^frjafper Fidget, «9i0/i L«^ Squeafniib.

Sr. Jaf. Oh, my Lady FiJget, was thii your otm<
ning, to come to Mr. Hdmer without me s Bqt yon
hare been no where elfe, I ho^.

La. Fid. No, iirjafftr.

Old L. Squeam. And you came flraight hither Biddy.

S^ueam. Yes, indeed, Lanfy Grandmother.

Sr. Jaf 'Tk well, 'tis well, I knew when onee
they were thrpughly acquainted with poor H<irn«r,
they'd ne'er be from him i you may let, her thafgae-
rade it with my Wife, and fiimert and I warrant hei
Reputation iafe.

Enter Boy.

Boy. p, Sir, here's the Gentleman coiiie, whom
you bid me not fuffer to come up, withooc giving
yoii notice, with a Lady too, and other Qende^
iBen- - " '■• ■■

-■flbf.Doyon.all go in there, whii'fl I fend'en*'
way, and Boy do yon defire 'em to flay beloM 'till!
comCy wtuch Siatl be immediately.

[ Exeum Sir Jafper, La. SquertD. iA

' fi^et^Mrt. Dainty Sqileamilb.

£•7. Yes, Sir. {.Exit.

- [ Exit Homer at t'etbtr Dosry and

returm with Mrs. Pincbwlfe-

Hsri You won 'd. not take my AdviCe to begone

home, bbfore your Husband eamc bad, he'll bow

difCover all, yet pray my Daareft be p«ifwtded to go

home, artd leave the reft to my Managenient, I'll let

you down the back way.

Mn. fitts I don't know the nay home,.ro I doh't.
* Hot. piy Man ftall waie ojson you.

Mrs. Pitt, No, don't you believe, that I'll goat aW;
what are you weary of me already f

Hot. No, my Life, 'tis that I may love you long,
'tis t6 fecure my Love, and your Reputation with yout
Husband, he'll never receive you again elfe.

Mrs. Pi'*

The Cwittry-fr^. x\t

'Mrs. Tin. What care I, d'ye diink to iri^iteQ me
vith that S I don't intend to go to hkn agiin ; you
ihail be my Husband now.

Hot. 1 cannot be yoarHasbaod, Dcareft, fioceyon
are married to him.

Mrt. Tin. O wou'd you taak^ me believe that—-'
doa'c I &9 every Day at LomJm here, Womea leave
their firft Hosbands, and go, and Uve with other Men
as their Wives, pilhj pfitaWj you'd mafce lac angiyj
but that I love you fo nsunly.

Hi>r. SOj they afe coming up— —Is again, in, I
hear 'efti : [ Exit Mrs. Pinchwife.

Welt a fitly Miftref^ i& tike a weak place, f«on got,
fooA loft, a Man has fcarce time v>x Flwi^or ,- ftt<^
betrays her Husl^nd firfl t&her Gallaat, a^ then hu
jGaUfl&t 10 her HuEbaod.

£8iir Pihchwife, AUcbca, Ibreooft, SinikHb^
Lvcyt.snJ sParfin.

Afr.PJM. Come, Madara, 'its not the fudden Change-
of yourOrtfs, the Cotiitdeiiea of your Aflevcrationv
and yobr^lfeWicnefs there, fhall perfwade me, I did
not biihg you hither, tuA now j here's my Witi^,
who cannot deny it, (ince you mull be confronted— ^
Mr, HmiTf did not X bring this Lady to yoQ }aft now i

Hfr, Now muft I wrong one Woman fbr another's
fake, but that's no new thing with me ; for in thefet
Cafes I am flill on the Criminal'* Sde, againft the In-
nocent. \_40^t-

Alith. Pray, fpcak. Sir.

B^r. It maft be fo— I muft be impudent, and try my
luck, faapodence ufcs eo be too hard for truth. [Jfi^*

Mr. Pitt, What you are ftudjing an EvaGon, or ex-
cufb for IMe, Speak, Sir.

Her. No, faith, I am fomething backward only, to
fpeak in Women's Af&in or Difputes.

Air. Tin, She bids you fpeak.

^Uth. Ay, pray. Sir, do, pray fatisfie-him.

Hor. Then, truly, you did bring that Lady to me
jufinow. Mr. Pin.

f5'B The Count ry-Wije;

Mf. fin O ho .

- Alitb. How, Sir-

Bar. How, HemtTl^
' AUth. What mean yoo. Sir, I always took yon for
a Man of Honour I

'Hot. Ay, fo much a Man of Honour, that X mnft
ffire my Miftrefs, 1 thank you, come what will on't.

■ Sfar. So if I had had her, ffiey have made me be-
lietrei the Moon had been made of a Cbrifimat Pye.

^ I^ep K64(r cfHi'd I fpeakj if I durlt, and folve the ;
Riddle, who am the Author of it. [_AjUt, '•■

jil*tb. O uhfortunate Woman I A Cotnbination a* i
gainft my Hondur, which moft concerns me now, be- I
cibure you (bare in my Difgrace, Sir, and it is your j
Cenfure which I mud now fuffer, that troubles me,
not theirs.

i7dr. IViadam^ then t^ve lio trout^e, you fliall now fee
'tis pofSble for me- to love toe, ; without being jealoDs,
I will not only believe your Innocence my felf, but '
iflSke all the World believe' ie^-^ ^ .
i^mr I muft how be concern'd for this Ladies Ho- |
lioun ■ ■ . . , . [ Jpart to Horner.

. "Her. Aild I mult be concern'd for a Ladies Hmour

'- Har. This Lady has her Honour, and I wHl proteA it,
■- Hot. My Cady has not her Honour, bnt has giwq
ft me to keep,; and I will preferve ic .

Har. I underftand you not

Jior. I wou'd not have you.

Mu, Tin. What's the matter with 'em all ?

[ Mrs. Pinchwife feeping in hebini.

■ Mr. Pia. Come, cotne, Mr. ftimer, no more difpu-
ting, here's the Parfon, I brought him not in vain.

Hot. No. Sir, Ml employ him, if this Lady pleafe.
' Mr. Pin. How, what d'ye mean I
Spar. Ay, what does he mean ?
Hot. Why, t have refign'd your Sifter to'^him, he
has my Confent.

the Country-Wife. ji^j

ly^.Fln, But he has hot mine. Sir, a Woman's in-

jur'a HoAbur;- n6" more than a Man's, can berepair'dj

or fjtisfied by ai^; but him that firft wronged it;'

andyoQ ftall marry^her prefently, or'-

' ' ' ■'' ' \L(fjt bit Hani m bU Sword,

Hater to thtm Mrs. Pinchwife.

Afrj. Tin, O Lord, theyll kill poor Mr. Homer, ^e-
fides he Ihan't m^rry her, whileft I ftand'by/ and look
oh, I'll not lofe my fecond Husband fo. ' ' . '
Mr. Ph. What do I fee ?
^litb. My Sifter in my Ooath^ J
Spar. Ha)

Afr/. Tin. Nay, pray now don't quarrel about find-'

ing work for the Parfon, he ihall marry me to Mr,

tifrtttri for now, I believe,, yoa have enough of me.'

[ To Mr. Pinchwife.

Hor. Damn'd, damn'd loving Changeling.

'Mn. Tin. Pray, Sifter, pardon me for telling fo

many Lye&of you.

I^ar. I fuppofe the Riddle is plain now.

'Lucj. No, that muft be my work, good. Sir, hear me.

' \^K.nttU to Mr, Plnch. wbajfandt dog'

gtdly, •with bii Hat over bit Eyes,

Mr. Tm. I will never hear Woman again, but make

'em all filent, thn> [Ofers to draw Mpm bisWfe.

' Her. No, that muft not be.
Mr. Tin. You then (hall go firft, 'tis all one to me.
[ Offers to draw on Hor. fioft hy Har.
Oar. Hold -'■^^

Enter Sir Jafper Fidgety Lady S^aeamifti, Mrs: Dainty
Fidgety Mrs. Squeamilh.

Sr. Jaf. What'9 the matter, what's the mattet", pray,
what's the matter^ Sir, I befeet^h you communicate.
Sir.

Mr. Tin. Why, my Wife hafrcommanicate^j Sir, as
your Wife may have done too. Sir, if fhe knows him
Sir . . Sr.j4

^ The Ceuntiy-Hnfe,

. Sr.Jff. P&aiJir, with biiQj ha, ha, he.

Mrrpin. D'ye mock me. Sir, a Cackold is a Idod
of a wild 3eaft, have a care, Sir— -

Sr. Jaf. No, fure, you mock me. Sir-— he Cnc^
kold yoa I Ic can't be, ha, ha, he, why, I'll cell you,

Stf. [ Offers to iviifper.

Mr. Ph. I tell you again, he has \yhof 'd my Wife,
and yours too, if he knows her, and all the Women
Ins comes near ; 'tis not Ins djiTembling, his Hypo*
criHe can wheedle me.

Sr. Jaf. How, does be dilTemble, is he a Hypo-
crite? Nay then— how Wife — —Sifter, is he

an Hypocrite i

Old L. S^ueam. An Hypocrite, a Diflembler, fpeak
young Harlotry,«fpeak how ?

Sr. jef' Nay, then — -O my my Ilcad qoo- ■■ —
O thcM, Ubtdinaus Lady I,

Old L. Stjueam. O thou. Harloting, Hariotry, haft
uiou don't then?

i'r. 5^j/; Speak, good Hi»r»w, art thos a. IMflem-
Wcr, a Rogue ? Haft thou

Hor. Soh

Laty. I'll fetch youofi^ and her too, if flie will bat
hold her Tongue. . lAfartte Hor.

., Her. Canll th<?u ? HI give thee — [>p<*rrwLucy.
^ Ijuy to Aft-. P«. iPray have but Patience lo bear me,
Sir who am the uofpnonate CaufeLof all this Con-
fufion, your Wife is innocent, I only culpable ,• foi I
put her upon telling ypu all tht;fe Lyes, concerning i
my Miftrefi, in order t^ the breaking off the Match
between Mr. Sfarkijh and her, to mq^e way for Mr.
JJareeurt.

^/ter. pid youfb et^fnal Rotcea^Tootfr^ Then it
feenis my Millre& was. not falfe to mc, I was only
deceived by yon. Brother, that fljou'd have been,
now Man of Condu^. ,w.h& is a frank Pprfon now,
to bring your Wife to. hi?F Lqver— — ha -r-^

Lacj. 1 affure you, Sir, flie came not to Mr. Horm
OQC of;:loir$, foe Ihc iQ^es biffi no mQr^— ^

Tbe CtmtrytVift. Sgf

H^t. Th. Hold, I cold Lyes for yon, bat y<« fliall
tdl none fw me, for 1 do love Mr. iifi»r««r with aH my
SodI, «nd no Body fhall fay me nay ; prsy, don't yoa
go CO make poor Mr. Ihmer believe to the contrary,
'tis fpitefnlly done of yoUj I'm Hire.

Ibr. Peace, Dear Ideoc. {_JlfiJet9A^s.Pia:_

Mn.Pin. Nay, I will not peace.

Afr. Fia. Not 'till'l make yoa.

Enter Dorilanc, Qnadc.

Der. ikrntr, your Senranc, I am tlu Dodof'sGaefl^
he mnft excQie our Inttnfion.

^. 'fiut whatfs Ehe matter Gentlemeo* foe Hearens
fake, what's the matter^

Hot. Ob| 'tis well yoa are come— —'tis a cenfori-
«us 'Worid we lire in, y6u may have brought me a
-Reprieve, or elfe I had died for a Crime I never
committed, and thefe innocent Ladies had fufier'd
With me, therefote prayfatisfie thefe worthy, honon-
raWe, jealous Gentlemen that-^— {Wbiffert,

:g«. O, I underftand yon, tj that all — Sir Jaf^tr,
<>y Heavens, and apon the Word of a Phylician,
Sir,- [ ffhijferi to Sir Jaiper.

Sr. Jaf. Nay, I do believe yoo troly pard<m

me-my <rirtaoas L^dy, and dear of Honour.

OliL. S^utam. What, then all's tight again.

Sr. Jsf. hy, ay, and now let ns fatisfie him too.'

\7hvf Trhifftr with Mr. Ptnchwife.'

■''Mr. Pjn. An Eanadi I Pray, no fooling with me.

jgff. I'll bring half the Chynirgeons in Town to
IWearit.

Mr. Pin. They -they'll fwear a Man that bled to

deflHi through his Wounds diedof an Apoplexy.

jg«. Pray, hear me, Sir why all the Town hts

heard the leport-of .him.

Af6: Ph. But docs all (he Town believe it.

^. Pray , inquire a little, vitd fiiil of »ll thefe.

Mr. Pin. I'm lure, wheq I left the Town, he wu
the lewdeft Fellow in't. - -

%%6 ( TbeCoifntry-TVifi,

S^ I tell yon, ^r, be has been Ja FrfitueCmct, prajr
ask bat thefe Ladies and Gentlemen,, youf Friend Mr.
Dmlttnt, Gentlemen and Ladies, han't yod all heard
,the late fad Report of poor Mr. Homer.

M Lai- Ay, ay, ay* , , j ■ > ,

., T)or. Why* thoa jealons Fool doft thoa doubt it,
he's dn errant J^Vwict.Capon. . . ,,

Mn. Tin. *Tis falfe. Sir, you* fliall not jdjfpv^ge
poor Mr. Homer, for to my certain ICiiowledge^—

Luc;. O, hol^i , I

Squtam. Stop her Moutii— f A{Utto Lucy.

, <M La. Fid. Upon my Honour, ^rj tis as true.

. Pain. P'ye think we would hare been leen in iiis
Company—^

Sfntam. Trailopranfpotted Reputations wit'i'i''"' l

Old La. Fid. Ttjs you gee, and we cop, by truftiog
your Secret to a Foo l [ Afide te Hor. I

Hor. Peacet Madanij— well, Do^or, is not this a
good De/ign that carries A Mao on unfufpeded, ajii)

brings him off fafe. [ AjUe to Quacit

, .;i*'.Pi».Well,ifthisweretrne,butmyWife— [^-i. |
, . , \_Doti\2Lntwhif^i?vitbMrt.firifii, ,

Alith. Come, Brother,, your Wife is yet innocent
yon fee, but have a care of top ftroDg an Ima^na-
tion, left tike an ororrconcern'd timerons Ganiefterj
by fancying an unlucky C^n, it fhould . com^. Wo-
men and Fortune are trueft ftill to thofe that trull 'eiD*

Lucy. And any wild thing grows but the mbrfi fierce
and hungry for being kept up, and more dangerou
to the Keeper. * • .

Alitb. There's Do^rine for all Husbands Mr. Bit'
eaurt. . . ,

Har. I edifie. Madam, fo muchj that I ant laipa*
tJent 'till I am one, .

Dor. And 1 edifie fo mnch by Example, I *"■
never be one.

Sfar. And becaufe I will not difparage my Vas^
■ I'll ne'er be one.

Hot. And, I alas, can c be one.i ,..^->

The ComtrfWtfe. 1 244

Mr. Tkt. But I muft be one agaioft my Win to

a Country Wife, with a Country-murrain to me.

Mn. Fin. And I tnull be a Country Wife ftill coff I
find, for I can't, like a City one, be rid of my mofty
Husband, and do what I lift. C-^«*

Hor. Now, Sir, I muft pronounce your Wife inno-
cent, though I blulh whiln I do k, and I am the only
Man by ' her now expos'd to 'Shame, which I wi|l
flreight drown in Wine, as you fhall your Sufpiciop,
and the Ladies Troubles we'll divert Ivith a Ballad,
Dodoc where are your Maskers.

Lmcj. Indeed, iae's innocent. Sir, I am her Wi;-
neti, and her end of coming out was, but to fee her
Sifter's Wedding, and what Cbe has faid to your Face
of her Love to Mr. Homer was, but the ufual inno-
cent Revenge on a Husband s Jealoufie, was it not.
Madam, fpeak — r-
Mri. Fof. Since you'll have me tell more Lyes- —
[ J^Je to Luey Mid Homer.
Yes, indeed. Bud.
Jl4r. Pin. For my own fake fain I wou'd all believe.
Cuckolds like Lovers fbou'd themfelves deceive.

But [ Sight.

His Honour is leafi fafe, ( coo late I find )
Who truft's it with a foolifh Wife or Friend.

A Dance ef Cuckolds.

C puther,
f]er. Vain FopSj but court, and dre&, and keep a
To pafs for Women's Men, with one another.
Bat he who alms by Women to be priz'd,
Firft by the Men yon fee muft be defpis'd.

nriLOGUB

;, Google

E f II OG VE fpokcn by Mrs. Ssis^.

NOWjnn the 'Vigermsf wh» imh iat 7

O'w VhMTd Mtsk, in fuUkk demimtr, >
A»d ivbat yoUi Jo to her if -in Vl4e« lukere j ji

Naj/lhivtibeCottfiittiee, to ajcemt mt^
Ttt-witnPe fays had m, jta art netfieut ;
But to jomr ■wet-Jnfi Brother firMfbt turn >Toimd
Anderjj Pox tut 6erN«d, Jhe coo t hfouitd :
Timflink atffaji afrt^ one to tngsgef
With fo much fttmipg Heat and loving Sfgff
Timdirightm liftning ABrtfs en the Stage j
^S fie at hfr hasfttn you Imffing come, 3

'And talk of keeping intbe Tjring-Rtomj >

Tet comet be frovok'd to lead her heme j *

iJtxtyou'SaXi^'afh of fifty, vbohtfet
Tour Buckram Maidenheads , which your Friends, get i
And whilfi to tbem^ you «f Atebievtmtnts boajtf
They Ibart the Beatf, and laugh at your Cafi.
JnfinCj you Ejfens't Boys^ both Old am'"
•Who WBu'dbe thought fo eager, brisk, i
Tet dotbe Ladies, not their Buiiaruls, vrong
WbofeTurfes far your Manhood make Exeufe,
And keep your Flanders Mares fer Shew, mfUf* j
Enceuragd"by our ffoman's Man today,
A Horner'j Vart may. vainly think to, flay ;
And may Intreagutsfo baflifuSy difoiVn,
That they may doubted be by few, or none,
Maykl' ■ - • -■ - •

Andfo
But GaUauti

Tie World, which to no Man bis due ovill gi-ge^
Tou by Experience know you can deceive.
And Men may fiill believe you Vigoroui,
But then we ffomm, — there's no cous'ning ui.

your Lo/f.
I andTottng, 7
sk, andfirmg, f
tds, MTdPg .• 3

f tbey may doubted be by jew, er none,

y ii/s the Cards at.Pic^et, Hanbre, -r~Zt/, 3

ifo be taught to ktfi she Lady tao^ if

GaSants, bave a care faith, whatyoudo- ^

FINIS.

, , T H B

THE

GENTLEMAN
Dancing'Mafter.

A

COMEDY.

As it is A6Ud

By Thetf Majesties

SER V ANTS.

By Mr. Wycherley.

Honit Nonjatii t^ ri/u itductrt riffim

9 ramen hic^ju^ i vtrtui.

LONDON)

I*rinted (drRick WeUiagtm, at the Ddfhiii
iaiCrmit at the WeitEnclof St; PiuPs
amtch-Ttrd, 171a;

D,l,z.:;,C.OOg|i:

P R O L O QUE

TotheCITY,

Newly aftct the Removal of the Dilke's Company
&om LiiKtbi'i-bai-feldi to theii new Theatte,
near SMitbirf-Ciaia.

OZJ&Jitiir (Idfm) finding 'IvHtldJitrctifi
At I'elber endjf'ibT^mt it come iojou ]
Aitdfuia 'til tit Ufi Tiyal, tai ihtt Wit
T« tinai himjiSm * fii^mUdd Pit.
Where maedy Wili Ar Criiii^dttrt not coffte^
Ltfi tUtig^ttur ftk Cbdki -aiti tmkjfii grant,
Siim'd prmieaGaniK }
Where Punk itt vizor dare aei rent and teat
Ta pHt »j oat, Jmce BrideWel itfo near )
'Injbort, vejmiti<vdi te ¥n'dtrfit'4.
If not, Jhalt he admir d and that's as good ;
fm-fmKl finjitfi fV^s iamjilfl teen kf*d,
Ntfi Dim mMi *i"> t^' J'fl timi'dfild i
And never veat it beard of, that iheCiij
Did ever taifSKcafoH to hetieitt^
Vpots dall Psil, erjiiff Pkjers Mian,
Bilt.pUlmthdafs.ofpes'dthej!ijpag Fatlim.
bat if yoahifs'd'tauiauha fit, not Stage, •»
So, teith the Poet, dantnd the daaming Age, C
Attdfiillmahfiiit'are-ai^jlijJfiigage ^ .

Again fi the gating, ttcijag Geatr/ vbo
Cititen, Player, Poet, tooadandO,
The Poet, no ; ssnUfi Iff ■ eanum adati o ir ^ l

For on the Change, Wits hatje no refatalion )
Andrathertiaisbtkratilte4folra'Wi1,
Ht Wilt fta, atlemn, tooa'd credit get.

Dramatis Perfonae.

Mr. Genrd.
Mr. Mtrtin.

} Young Gentlemen of tlie
Town, and Friends.

^A vain Coxcomb, and ridi City

Mr. Ptrris, or f Heir, newly retUriied from

Mpn^eur V Fr^wf, and mightily aiSsfted

DePiuris. I with the Fremt Language aid

J Fafliions. ■

•vAn old rich Spinifi Merchant

*, t^ ■ r if newly returned home, as

Mt.JmesFbm^X nuchaffbaed with the Habit

or Do» Dttgc I ^j Cuftoms of Sp<»,and Uo-

■' detoDiri'iimV. :

Mrs. HifpMti. FotmaTs Daughter.

»<_ f .■ ■ ?fi»»M/'s Sifter, an imperti-
Mts.to<«. ^ nentprecifedd Woman.

Frut. Hiffelitd's Maid.

MtuBirti J Two Common Women of

Mrs. BoaKt. i the Town<

A little BUci-fMmj Lacquey to BmuL

A Parfon.

A freuch ScuUion.

Servants, Waiter, and Attendants^

SCENE London. „

THE

THE

G ENTLEMAN
Dancing-Mafter.

ACT. I. S C E C E I.
Don Diego's Houfein th Evening,

Ea ter {Uppdita mi Pruc btr MriJ.
Bjy.^'W"^Oconfinca Woman juftin hatambliag Age !
I take away her libeity at the veiy time fli^
J^ (hou'd life it ! O baibatoas Aunt ! O unjialu-
lal Father! to (but up the poorGiilat fourteen, and hinder
ha budding i i^ things are ripcn'd by the Sun i to fliut up a
poor Girl at fourteen ! —
friL Tis true, Mi(s, two poor young ppnturcs «s we are !
fjiff. Not fuffer'd to fee a Play Ui a Twelve Hcmth '— — •
Pf«. Nor togotoPwcifiyZ/gnor Paradife! ■ . .
Hipfj!iot to nbe a Rambk to the Park noK Mulberry garden !

Fru.'NcatoTat»am-CairtaotlJlii^im\—

Hipp. Nor to eat a SUIybub in new Sprfng-gardeo with »

Coutin! '

Friv. Nor to drink a Knt of Wine with a Friend at the.
Prince in the Sun !—
Mff- Nor {0 hear a Fiddle in good Company!
Pn». Norto hear the Organs and Ton^ a^ the Gunb

l^tr^lii ! —

Riot, Nay, not fufEei'd to go to Churdi, bccau(e the mea
-;" . 1, . ■ ■ ■ J^ , - - ■ ,„■

246 The Gentlemin DMchg-Mnpr.

ace fonKtimes there ! little did I think I Oiodld ever fs^

longM to go to Chmch !

Prm. Oi I cithei, but brtwecn two Maids ! — —

Hipf. Nor feeaman !— — —

Trut Nor coiue near a Man !■•*——

Hitp. norhcaiofaman!—— — •

Pra.-N^ Mi6, buttoBcdci^'daimrt! iiMttoHftVtnoufe

Ifipf- Hold, hold -— — your icfcntment is as miMh greater
than mine, as yew: eXscrfeilcc his bocn grated i but all this
vhile, whatdd fre AttKibf my CoiiCn, hi^ Htaband elcd

f as my Auat (ays) we have had his Company thcfc three days. '
Is.henoinaa?

tru. No, faith, he's but a Monfitur^ but you'll refblve your
fclf that qtteftion within thtfe thieetiays for by that time, he'll

be your Husband, if your Father come to iiight ?

Hiof. Or if I provide not my (etf with another in the mean
time ! Fot Fathers feldocfi c^tuTe WeR, and I i^itl no more
take my Father^s choice in a Husband, thin I would in a Gown
or a Suit of Knots ; So that if that Cot^lin of mine were not an
. \\\ contriv'd ugly Frtckilh fob!, in beii}g rtiy' Father's choice,
I rtiou'd hatt him i befidcs he has alnioft itiadc tie o* of love
- ^th ^trth b'nd good hiKnour, for he debafes it as Ihuch as a
Ti£k-t>udifng ', and Civility and good ftfteding mtJte then a

ibity Daiicfcg Maftcr. — ^:' ■" '

Pftt. iVhit, «ori*t yon marf^ him then, Madim ?

Hifp. Wou'dn thou have me marry a Fool 1 an Idiot >

tfu. Idi'rd \ *(ii a f^n you have been kept up Indeed ! and

know Titift t)f thd World, loreftifcartiantoViHusband, only

' hecayfe he's a Fb6l,. Melhinks he's i prtlty ajdfli kind of 1

Gfeiitlfhrah, tiktcfbrt Gentlcmei). ana handffimc tttoagK to

lye.Tvith in the dark.,xvhe.n,liust)ancls talii; thrir prtvitedges,

ihd (di'thk Sif-iWis ybii mat ^5kc the pviviredgc o£a Wife.

Hipf, ExcclieptGovcrne&^ you dounderlland theWottd« I
(cfc. "■■■"■■■■ ' ■ ' ■

Pru. Then you (hou!d be guided by Hie.
H*)^. Art !hou'incar6cftlKen,crartiti*d Jade? 'Woq.'iA thoi}
liavt iffe VrtarfJ l^ih ? well— — there ixt flfiofe p(5<»r yoong ^
\ypmen. undone and inarried to filthy Fellows, by ihetttadiCTy
arid evil Couniil of Ctiamijcr-ibalds, ihaobytht (Minacy'
aiidcoveteufnels ofpaicnw. ' ' '" ^^. ..,..■ ^

Pn* .Pfm> liQt yoOT f stber epnse QB piirpoie ouf of yy«a
to mairy you to hiEn i Cao yo4 relr4r<: your it\( from your
Aunt (^ ^AtbfT any other way ? Have you 3 miiid tq be Qwt up
as long as you Lve ) For my part (though yqu can holdout up-
DO rbcUfW ffoni the W9IIS hnCf SaU, old Shoocs^ and pat-
meal) I canoot lire To, I mull confc& m^ Rxtientx u worn

out

Wn. Aias ! alas ! v^of ftm ! your ftomich ]ies another way,
I wilt labe pity of you, and get mc a Husband very fuddci^Iy,
t^amtlwvci^WaxyQMr ScrncCi but ratber than tnar-
ly my CoulSe, I wiU |>f 9 Mud in ^ w:w ^roteAant Nunne-
ly they mUe of, Cwhcietbey fty^ wc will be no hc^s of
coming near a mail.

Tru. But you can marry no-body bijt your CoulTn, Wtlf,
your Fatba you expcd to Night, apd be certain his Sp^mi^
policy and waiinefs, which has kept you up fo dole ever fince
you came £019 47<K^''9-Sch«)l, will nutke fure of you wifhia
adayortwoaffetf^cU ■' -"
Mpf. 'nwn 'i» tiB»c p^ (hjigjt how to ^ty^t Jfiim— .%—
Tru. In vain, vain Miis.'

Wfp- If we knew but any roan, any.4i;iao, though be ^ere
teCBlde JMrfjjPBWj^jhppfyil^fo tb^i he wgrc? t^ehtle-
man.

Prw. Whatif'traM 4M ^V'.^i'ir Matli, ifyou ha^ an Qppor-
lltiif»9 iFte'irf yw. Ifiirf: ^p^^dfkp^.to fpcak to a ti^an^ill?
But if you-aH^,.iiawjqw'4 #pti ci;tme to him, or he to .you ?
nay, how coa'd you fend to him ? for , tfjpu^h yon ,cou'd
write, which your Ealbai^Jlis^fw/!' PfLti;l^icc v'ou'd lievcr
permit you to irarn, who (bou'd cany the teeter } but we
wa4.notie.conaiwV.^tt)Wf> ^we W? know n9t .to".\yhom
lodlaad^

Hjff.-^tty-J'-^JtTWfl ^tCo^— i',lI/,7 howcytt-^ ■ "

EiWrt- Moniieut,de,P''f|sT|. ' '

Miif Sqntii|ew,.(S«^ieHr, |U Cpwfi^e, \ cohtf ttJ^thc
*».&wr, -tubefirwift-f^. -

cHm. [OCoHl»>-li!i»HilHiow tuni> ><:l>c ^<^ iG^itleinan they
trik (irij&mdiin Tpmh>
fwf..Wh»tJ wiftiiWttUstohiaiiOfitnx.manelfi?'''
Mmf. IfaiDVjtil^l^iJMvfcniQadeOoLitiHe. . ^^ '
fUff. Mailer-—

' R 4 '.:;■ *^""A

»48 7%* Gentleman D/mutig-Mafier*

Monf. Monfieur Taildit ! Monfieur 'Efmt, Monfieur— >:

tjipf. Thcfe aie Frtncb men '

Mimf. Non, non, you'd you have nie fiiy Mr. r^^/n*, Mt.
Smithy tic, tic, tcttenbn--— — ■

Hifp. But don^t you know the braye Gentlennn they talk
rffo much ai Town i*

Mmf, \Vho, fAon£^eaxGtTrari'i

J7(^ Whatkindof Rianisth4(Mr.GnT<iri> aridthdilll
tell you.

Mtt^. Why— he is tndy a petty man, a pretty man—
« pretty lb fo—— kind pf nun fbi an £i*{/i/lr man.

Hiff. How 1 a pretty man ?
■ Monf. Why, he is conveniently tall— ba(-^»

Hitf. But, what? ■* '

Afo»/: And not il!-fiiap'd but^— •

tiipf. But what ? ■'' ■'

Mwi/; And handfbm, as 'tis though -! — bu t" - '■ ' ■ '

Hi^. But, what are youi Exccprions to him? ' ' i ^ .;..

Mmf. I can't telt ^ou^' becauft they are innumerable, uiDOt
plcrabJc won foy. ■!'.*-

tTipf. Hashe^Wit? •■ • -

Monf, Ay,ay,they fay he's witty, brave and deb^luineuc
and wdl-bred with allthat— — but,-

Bm. But what7 does he want Judgment^

Jk&nf. Non, non, they Tay he has gobd &nlc and judgment,
but It is according to the Kcount f>irfe',—fi»—>

iSpp. For what? ■ '

Monf. Forjarnif— iflthtnkit •

ISff. Why? ' ■ -

Monf. Why — ^why his TaykrUvcs within IjJgMtif-^
Hs Valct-de Qumbre is no Fnw/b-man^— and he has bcei)
(cen at noon-day to go 3nto an £»f ^Eating-houfc— -^ .

•Bifp. Say you fb, Coafti ? ■

MMf, Then fbr1)cIngwtIl-brcdyoafliall)udae-"^,'fi^ ^
can't dance a (Icp, nor. ling ^Frmc^Sbng, nor mar aFrwi^
Oatc,nor ufc the polite Fw&ri word in hfe-Gonverfttion; and in
fine, can't ptay at Hombie — but fpeahs bafegood En^ J^
the comtnune homebred pronoandaridi^ aivl In me, toliy
IK> more believer carries a SnUfFbox-iboiit with hlm<
"' f^iw; Indeed— —- ' " ■ ':'./.

■ ■■' •"^" Jifrfr

Th QtntUmtH DAncing-Mafierj 949

A£mf, And yet diis Mtn has bKP abroad as modi a^ any
man, and docs net make the Uaft (hew ofit, but a little in
his Mfcn, not at all in bis .dilcptic Jamie*, be never talks (b
much as (^St,Pcfn-'s Chutdi, arid At^fhe Efatrislfii Ma-
#£^paynDtIbro'lKhasbfHrw7,lV.>.cfi^i>»f-N(i^, Fn-ujmi
the new Lejivrt, noi o^thc GnuulKoy.-.^ ..

Hiff. *rtsi(»biiCDti)ipc949U4(), ifhedocsnottalkofhis
rTfavels.
Hdionf^ Au|h auh-*-Cou&ie"*he Js conlcicitis himlelf of his
wants, becaii^heisvay cnviousji^ot hecannotcnduretne —
■■■ "Jfi;p He (hall,ben)r man tbqi for that; tA/tJe.

Ay, ay, cistbelaipe, FiKTiNpll^W he can't endiuc yot^
Coufm— .

A^f. How do you know it-— who nem ftir out. Tdlc
non— —

Hipf. Well «— dear Codin — if you wilt proauiie me ne-
ver to tell my Aunt, I'll tcU you— — ~
Aimf, I yfoa% I won't, Jamie
mpp. Nor to be (oo(:em'd your lijf, (b as to make rquancl
pf it.

Meaf, Koa, non—
Hijf. Upon the Word (^a Gentleman.
Mmf. Foy dc Chevalier, I will not quaireL
Tm. Lnd, Mils 1 I wonder you wont believe him without
fnoreado?

Hifft Tlien be has the hatred of a Rival foi you.
Monf Mai a pelle.

Him Ydu know my Ghan^r is backward, and has a door
into the Gallery, which knks into the back yard of a Tavern,
whence Mr. Gerr«^ once Ipying me at the Window, hasoften
, (iRce attempted to come in at ttut Window by the hdp of the
Leads of a low B^ildlnc adjoining, and indeed 'cwis as mudi
as my Maid and I cou'd do to keep him out— —
' M«f. Au le Coquin ! ■
^Cfiii^ But nQtIung is flronm than averCon i for I Ittte bim

perfeqly, even as much as 1 love you —

■' Bnr. 1 bc^eve fo fdth".>4)ut what, delign have we now on

Hifp' This dilcoifcry is an Argun^nt furc of tpy love ^

^""'^ ■ ■ ' ' ' ' M,M

3$o The QentUmtm DofUiffg-Msjler,

Mmf. Ay, ay , fay no note, Goafia, I 4(hA( not yonr
athoure for me, becaLueldoubtnotyDuijuJgnmt Butw^t^

to be done with tt^ Fanfwin 1 kaow wlieie he eats to

night— I'll go find him out venit« Meu— — •

W^. Oh my dm CouHn, you wilt hix tnifac a quarKl nf
It f 1 thoiuht what your Pionu^ wcu'd come to !

jMmi/! Wou'd yoa have a Man of Honoaii— — ■

W^, Keep his Promile ?

Mm^. And lofe bis Miftrefii that wete not for my Honour,
nuy (by— —

ffm. Coului, dioughyoadometheinjarytothinkleau'd
be blfc— do not do your (elf the bjury to tfainji any one coi/<i]
be &Ife to you —will you bea&aid <^ lofing your Miftrefi ; to
(hew fudh a fear to yixir Rival, wen foe his honour, aod not
lor youn furc.

Monf. Nay, Goufin Td have yoa know 1 was never ^aid
of toling my Miflrefi in eantcft— -Let me fee ibe man en
£etmy Mifiielsfromoiejamie—bathethatlovamuftieeai a
lude jcaloas.

Ui^ Not to.his Rival, dio(c that have Jcalpufic hide k
fiom their EUvak.

Mmf. But there aic' (bfttc who (ay JeaIoa(]r Isnoiwnr to
be bid than a Cou£^ ; but it (hotild never be difa^prnd in
ine, if I had it, bcaufc it fanrt Frraci-at all— wentte— bleu-

itm. No, you fbould lailly your Riyal, and rather fodie a
JcftofyourQoanel tohim,andthat Ifuppole is F»i*6(oo —

Mmt. *Tisib, 'tis fo^ GouGq, 'tis the vntrable ¥rmcb
Metfiodi for your Hi^if, for want of Wit, dtivc every thing
'iio a fcrious gium 9uvnl, and then wou'd make a Jdl tsn't,
when,1^tooIatc when rtwycatft laugh, Jarnie— —

Ui^. Tes, yes, 1 woifd have youtaiHy Wmfeundly, do
notrparcHhia jot but (hall -you fee him mtught?

Monf.'Ay^ ay —

Hipp. Yesl ptvf he fureto Icdftm (br-thc^cA') fabe — —

Monf. I will—for I love a jclle as wdl as any btl E%r^ of
'cm all — da.

Hipf. Ay, and taRIy him fonhdly ; be -fme yoti vaffly dim

(oundly, aqd tellliim, juft thus- that the Lady he has fo

long courted, from the great Window of the SMfTtvaH, is
-tpheyour Wife to monow, unlcfshecomcathis wODted'heur

,^ of

cf fix ki dw Moniiag to her Window to forUd the Bancs i fet
'Us thefirilandliAdiDeofaskiag<aiKlifhecon]eiiot,laUBi
for ev«t hcrea^ ft»J away voA hold Us Tongue.
Monf, Hah, ha ha, a rciy good Jcfc, teOc bleu.
Uif. Atid if the Fool (hou^ como again, I wodd tell him
his own, I wanant you Coufin i my Gcntleinan (hau'd bo fa-
tli^cd for good and all, Itle Iccurc hino.
ASonf. Bon, Bon,

Pm. Well, wdl! yoUngMifticls, you weicncrtatWwiwy-
Schocd fta nothing I fee j not taken away foi nothing : A Wo-
mati may fotm be too old, but it nevct too youiig to Ihtft for
httWf? C^M-

Monf, Hah, ah, ah, Coufin, dou art a merry GllK^— «"»
ft>y— I long to be^idiGfrrtfrt^ and 1 am the beft at ifn)]n}T^
tng a Jefle— I ball have fodi dlvmi^nent te night tcftc Ueu.

Uiff. HcTlldRiy, 'maybe ufitft^ that be ever courted any
fuch Lady.

' Mmf Hay, I Mtti fufc hell bea&am'd of it: I Dull anhe
himkwkrofintly tdicnon — ^tkmgtoiindhimout, adieu,
adieu la Cculine.

Hifp. Shall yoabe&re to find him ?

M<mf. IfidubitabltnKnt n featth the Town onr, but Ilj

find him, bah, l», ha-^ [Ex. Monf, ajid rtxamu

Bat i'lQ afraid, Ccufine, if Kbouldtdlhitn you ate tobemy
Wife to motrov, he ttou'd not come, now I am for having

WificwiicfMtheJ<*'^f»ke vtwtc-^ .

{fit*. So am 1, Cfoutin, fot having htm come too ftn: the
left's fake.

Mwrf. Well, well! Icsveittemc! ha,ha,ha.

Enftf Afr*. Caution.
Mis. cm, Wfctt'saH (His giglifla here?
t^f. Hay, do yoa tinke well tril you, no fait, 1 wanant
wn) tefte mm ha, h», fea— —

H^. MyConfin1i««»icry'd, Ifoppofc, (hat tny FaHier is
jbtoftttto'tii^*'

Mrs. Cwrt. I «si aftaM hcBFill not come to Bight— but
you^llftayandfec, Nephew.

Mmf. Non, tjon : I am (o fap at lo'dict end of the Town
jDtuglK—i.la,la,la-— ;^-ra,ra,M-— — . [E«. MonC.^/(fW»-

252 . 'Git Gi»tlemM Dancitig^Mifierl

Mis. C<wr. I wilfathc frtoib LeWty of this Voung-diaa
may agice with your Father's Sfamjb Gravity.

Hipp. ]utl as youi crabbed old age and my youth agree.

Mis. Caul. Well, Malqkit! 1 know you hate me> because
I have been the Guaidian of your Reputation. But your Hus-
hmi tnay thank me one day: -

Hipp. Uhebe'notaFooI, he would lather be oblig'd to me
fin my venue, than to you, lince, at long run he muft, whe*
ther he will orna

Mt9.CaM. So, lb!

Bi^. Nay, tK}w I thtnh on't i I'dehaveyoutoknov, the
poor man^ whofoe'er he is, wUt have little cauTe to thank you«

Mrs. CnHfi, No«f— f-T*
' Hip^. Nov for ( ncvei lived fo wicked a life, as I have ioBg
this twelve-motilh, fincc I have not fccn a man.

Vlts.CaHt. How.' how! If you have hot feena Ma^ how
cou'd you be wicked ? how cou'd you do any ill ?

Hipp. No, I have done no il!,btn Thave paid it widi thiakin^
. Mts.Caut. O that's no huit. to thiitk is no hurt i tbeait-i
cieiit, grave, and godly cannot help thoughts. .

Hipp. I wanant, youhivehad em youtfelf. Aunt.
: JAts,Caia. Yes, yes I when I cannot Hcep.

Hipp. Ha, ha — — I believe it, but know, I have had thole
thqughts lleq)ing and waking : for I have dieam't of a man.

Mis. Cmt, No matter, no matter, fo that it was biU a
dream, I have dream't my fclf ; for yoi muft know Widows
tie mi^iiy given to dream, infomuch that a dieam is wag-
gKhly call'd the Widows Comfort.

ii^. But Idid notonlydiczmfn—— .■ .■ [5v£j-.

Mis-Cowr. How, how; did you more than dream .^ fpcak
young Harlotry > conf^, did you npre dup dream ^ how
couU you do more than dicam in this Moufc^ fpcak .' coafc&

Hipp. Well.' I will then, hidecd. Aunt, I did rxx only,
dream, but I was pleafed with my dream when I awak'd.

Mrs. Caut. Ob, is that all ^ nay, if a dream only will pteafe
you,.youareamodeA youngWoilKDftill,buthavcacarc ofa
Vifwn.

■Hipp. I ; but to be delisted when wc wake with a nau^
t^ ^ream,. isa Hn, Aunt ■, an^ I am fo very fcrupulous, thati
woii'd astoon confbit to a naughty tiuQ, as to a naughty dreamt

.y-m

The GtnihmahpMcing'M^tr: 353

Mrs, Cant. I d6 believe yoil.
Biff. lam foigdngintothe ThiongofTcmptations.
Mrs. C«rt. There I believe you agcn.
iiiff. And making my fclf (b umiliu with them, that I
wou*d not be conceni'd fpt 'em 1 whit.
Mrs. Caut. There 1 do not bcBcve you.
Hifp. Ahd would rake all the irmocent libcriyoTtheTowif,
to tactic to your men uadd a Vizard in the Play-houfcs, and
tneet *cm at night in Mafqueiade. .

Mrs. Cm. Thcie I do believe you agun, I know you
wou'dbc mafqueradlng \ but wtwiewouM come on't, as ithas
done to others, who have been in a Mafqueradc, and are now
Vir^D*sbut in MaJqueradr, and will not be tbcii own Women
agfcn as long as they live. TheO^drm of this Age muft be
wife Children Indeed, if they know their Fatlwsj iincethdt
Mathcts tbcmfetves cannot iofbcm *em ! O, the ^tal Liberty
of thismalqucrading AgewhenliArasayouiu Woman.

' i^ff> CofO^ oime, do not bbfphcme traa malqtxn^t^
Age, like an ilbred Ctty-[)ame, whole Hu^wid is half hcpke
by living in Cevnt- GtrJeUt or who has ben tnm^l out d the
TetnfU otLmotnsrLM vpenz mafiiuendii^ Night : by what
I've heatd *tts a pkalant-wclUfa(M<conipiaccni-ficee fndick-
£pod-natut*d-prctty'Agc > and if you do not like it, leave it
to us that do.

MrSi C*Mt. Lord! how ittqpudently you talk. Niece, l*m
fure I remember when I was a Maid.

Hipf. CaQyoutemeQibetiti reverend Aunt ?
Mrs. Caut. Yes, tnoded Niece, that a raw young thing
though almoft at Wcmans cfl2te,,that was then at joor 35
yaars.ofage, would not lb much as have looh'd upon a Man.
Hiff. fibovt her Fathers Butler 01 Coach* man.
Mrs. Cma, Still taking me up ! well ihouartamadGitI,
and fo gpoi ni^t. We may go to bed, for I (uppofe now
your Father will not come to ni^t. (Exit Mn. Caution*

Hipp. I am forry for itt for 1 king to tee him. But I lye; I
had ratha &e Gtrrard here, and yet I know not how I fltall

Rke him : if he has wit he will come, and if he has. none he

wou'd not be welcome. - _ „; „ , -

(£x. nipp4 and Pra..

S C EN '

%54 ^ GttakmititDmciiig'Mifier,

SCENE ebm^tt to tbt VtKui>-He»f»t s TMe^
BoitUi-, nACmJUt.

Evitr i/r. Qatiti^ M«iio, mJ MoaGair At Torn,

Monf. 'Tis vn vcrit^, Jamie, what die French fty of
you Et^l^y you u(e tfae deboch fe nuicb, it auMot havE with
yotitbc jTCflc/bOpattioa yeuanncracf^oyeev butoomCt let
us for ona be eafiiKinent gilUaal, and £ng i J^Vmri 5bnnO^
lings la batatlU, la haUilUj elvii efm*

/vbru to GerrarJ. Wfau a mebtfiois Fop it is ?

M«f. Avk' youtavenoCoqiflriftace.

<}tr. Nb we ssot* GoSi bat wc'B drinfc to you dw Utiles
faailtb, whom (jon fay) 1 htre (9 long aaurttd at ha ififigAow.

MiAmf. Ay« ihcieii yoiu Compla^anofi ^^ your EwJ^
OHBpUfaoaBisplede^GraApfaiHiice, vtatM-^— Wifl <lo

you reafen hue, wHl70ttJoliie>ml(»toa:liHicJ>)m«iGtMA-
fen« bCTte-«i ■' i<fatf JKigfatoypa— ^-^-^^^iitftto., Xv-^ak-

Mmt, u Gerrari. llu& tadittlteep Company nMtaSiet
of wkk moathMtkanbtflCtthedHl Cnorlficn.

Gcr. Omie, £^, drink, and'heAaH^o^mttafoB toyou

tm I am the t>ukt of Norfolk.

Alto^ Auh>TefieUeB,)nGi^A(f&'CMdiifie,ge, TCntie-*

Gtr, He can fug no damn'd fimoiiSong.

Monf. Not ao I think tkc-damn^dfflg^' Wine. (5efj
(dnvn titGUjh

Gtr. Yes, to that Ladles health, o^o'litt commanded rac
to wait upon bcr to -monofc at nei Window, ■vviaA hdks
(you fay) into the inwaid Yaid of 'the Sbip-Tweaif awai the
end of 'vrfiat'cke cslft^ArHt.

^m/I Ay.sy, dofbHnot^nowhn, netyou {vtMtiita.y

Gtr. But 'pny repeat agcn What fhe laid.

Hmf, Why, fte iai^, OKfeto^minyM to motrow ^ '
a'perfsnof HonoiiT} aJbiavcOcntlenun, that fbaH be name
ku Aid fo, and fo foiiti (little does he think who 'tis.) i^lfiJa

Gtr, And what dfe^

i)im/ That if you make not your appearance befbie hcl
VVindow tt> oootrow at youi wonted houi of Cx JQ ttx mom'

*>«

idg to faibid the Bancs, you mufi for ever haeafter fUy away
afld hoU Toui tongue, foi'dsdiefirftaiicllafldnieof uktog,
ht. ha, ha!

Gtf. Tis all aKIddlc to me * I Saodid be Hnffifltag to be
focri'd by Ibis Coxcomb.

iianf. I won't tcU luin all (he Cudt left be (houM not go, I
wouM tam have him go fi» the Jeft's fike— — -ha. hi, ha. ,

Ger. Her name il, yoa lay, HiffeliHi Daqgbtci lo t rich
SfoK^ MerchanL

Moiif. Ay, ay, yon don*t know ber, rot youad^autrc)
d'auBcroafoy— '-'ba, ba* ha.

Gtr. Well ! I will bean eafie PoolJbr once.

hUrt. By all nxaiu go.

Mmf. Ay, ay, by all means m — rhab,_ha, ha;

Ger. To be cai^ght in a Fcoh Tr ap — .■ - I'll venrme it.

MM-

Oxne, *tu ha health. (Drnk^ u him,

Mioif. And to yoiur good leceptioa— — tcfle.blvu,— — •
ba» ha, ha.

G€r. WcU, Monricur! I'll (ay thii fbi thee, thouhaAnHde
die btd lift of thiac mootbs at F«n/, as erer £ty/i^ Sqabc
did.

ASoiif, Ctmlidoii^ T was m a dam' EmA/ PeniiaDtoo.

hkrt. Yet you bzVe Gonvets'd with fomc R-tnA, 1 fie )
Foot->ineii 1 iapfaCc at tfac Fracing-Scbool, I ju^ge It by yon
Oaths.

Mai^. Fmui FoOt-men ! well, welt, I bad latbct. hav£
the conveilation of a French Foot-man than of an Eng/i^&C'
quiie, there's for you da ' ■

Mttrt, I beg yout pardon, Mmfiettr : I did not dunk die
f^Wtfj^ Fnot-HKo had been (o much your FriAtds.

Gtr. Yes, yes, I warrant they have oUigM him at Tsru
much more rhan any of their Mafieis did. WdU, there OmU
be no more faid againll the Freneb Foot-men;
. - -A^f. Non de Orade-—- you arc alway tuxntsg the Nati-
on Frmncez into ridicule, dat Nation fo accom^i^ Azx Nation
which you imitate, fo, dat m the conclulion yoo butfe tum
yourfeirintoiidiculemay Toy; if you are for de raillery, abule
the Dtaclfy why not abufe the Vuteb f les eiofle Villaines,
Pandars, Inibtmts i bat here in youi Engiiua may foy, you

hare

i^6 ^Jie Qe»ttm0tl5iMciifg'MaJiet^i

have rttore Iioneut, rcfpede, and cftimation for die Da&S
Swabber, who conoe to chat your Nation^ den for dcFrancb-
Fpot-man,. who come to obli^ your Nation.

Mart. Our Nation! then youdilbwnlt foryOurs, itfecms.

Monf. T/tfell! wjit ofdati are you the difobligee by date ?
' Gir. No> Moniieur, &t from it ; you cou'd not dilige ta^
not your Country any other way then by difowntng it.

MoiiJ; It is de -Brutal Country} n/hidiabiife dcRanei and
Kvcrence the Dv/br i I will maintain^ fufiaint ttai jufii^ iat
mtUttlt'Franeb'FBot'tnmbaverMon^vtUT^ ctmra^y md ge-
nerojityt more good hloeJ iit his vsineey Mmm^mortgc«dm^tn-
ntri «!' civility Jtn all Je State-General together^ Jamie— *-J-5
dey are only wife and valiant wen dey ate druokce.

G*r. That is always.

Mmf. But (ky are never honefle wen dey are dninlctt}
dey arc deonty Koguc in de Varlde, . who are not hptiefte Wen
deyaredrunk^ oiayfoy.

Ctn 1 find you are welt acquainted i#tib.'them, Moidiet^.

Mmfi Ay, ay, I have made the touie of Holland., but it
was en poite, dac wasno-Aayingfor meteflenon— -fiwde
' Gentlenian caif no more-live dere den de Toad in Irlani, mr
foy j for I did not fee on* Chevalier in de whole Cuntree : al-
ways 3<m bmv, Je Rthtl bate itpiu d* quality > bcfidrs, /
tad fM^ib fuffcimt . etffroatim of the Canailt karhsn de firfi
iiighne «f n» arrival at Amjierdamme* I did viftym m^
kpew omefdi Pr^ie^ afde State General^ » whom i badtf
totmjtend^um from En^and, anddidjmd bit ExetUtnstV^ft
ing Soft^ Jamie ha, ha, ha.

Cert Wri^in^Sopc!

Mmf, Weighing Sopc> niay foy, for he was a whde Sale
Chandelecr, and Us Lady was taking the T^k of Chandia
wid her own witcr hands, ma Iby, ud de young Lady, Us
Excellence Dua^iKts ftrmgii^'Haning, ftnngit^ Hairing)
Jamie r— ■

Gtr. So h — and what were his Sons doing?

Monf. Auh tusSon Cfbr hehad butonc) wfsftiakbl

de Touic of Frstut^ EffaigtUy Italjt an* Germany tit a CtMch
andCx, 01 lader now 1 thiik on't, gone of an EmbaRy
hider to dcic Maflcr Cnmwell, whom they did love and fear,
bccad&iK was fame di^de greater Rebel, bute ntm It^kc^

de I

tie Gtntkmu D-alii^-iltJter: x^f

dc Scbllk, none but Ic Bcbel an km dc BebHe, ud To
midl for you and )6tv Friend the 27«^, ]11&ynooioie,and
pajrdoyoa&ynomoieof myFricnddefrjiK^, not fomulh
as of tny Friend ttwl^^MefFaot-insn -- da ' '

Gir, No, no i hoc, Monfieur, nattr pn tan leave to id-
mhe elkc, tbat In ttute motiths at Tmt you coold tenouncc
yoiaLAgaasei Drinking, and youtCountty (^wl)ichwe
atenbc angry wtdi yoo^ as I Tatd, and ctme home lb peifeft
a Ame^nian, thacthe dicyinen of your Fatfaasown Biei^-
honftwou'd be ready to knock thee In tHe head.

Mtmf. Vel, Td, my Father ms a Mtichant of his own
leer,. astheNobkfleoCfl'mi of their own Wine: bntlcan
fbegJTcyon ihat Railletyf that Bob, luxe you lay IhaTCtht
Eyre FrMNS. ButhavcltfaeEyre.^fVwKm'?

Gir* Aa.oiadiia^ Frfwi-Faot^tnaiiof'cfnall. ;

Umt. kai*al(vakfoxci)cmSmlifemAt

©»■. Veryill, .

i*iif, VerilaUetilent I

6&. Veiltableniait.

Monf. For you muA knowi 'tis ai ill bteedhu now la
4«k gpod ag/i/', as to write (pai Ihilii', good ienb oil
g nnd fan d;

Gw. fiat bdeed} inethinks^ you are hoc flofcnly enough
b aFnati-raad^ :\

A&ny: Sloret^! you mean aegUgent?

Ctr. No, I ijiean florimly.

Mny: Thenlt>il][bemotelloiraily.

Gn. You know, to be a perftA F^ewf-lllan, yoii liwS
beeer W Glent, tlent fit ttiU ind neM be dean.

iMw. BUyouhawfolgol.oJieillimqualiikitioaof ilrue
t^nki-nioi heflkaild never be (band, thatis, beeetypockie
too;

Uh/: Ohl ifdatbeall, lamniypoiU!', FDcMeenoMN
Jamie, that is the only Aaxl qualitaltion finybelul wiOt*
borgpingto Peri#, noafby.

SatereWaib;

![(!>>>. Here area conpleof ladies teeiagti^ to yoi(&;, '

Oir. Taos I didyoUappoiiitanirietencliilhn.ilAKiii?

Mart. NocL

ev. Nor, yoOgMaitfitv!

iliHIMeer S . i^.

3^8 VnQ^iemmJXmeim'^fi'r:.

0tri ^mb»itAyaitfM>6etiy he cannot penqftniftNiK
tbe ConQibte andtbeje inUiueht<:aukA)> *its not iHoMfe Roc
ns. ■■ ■ ■ ' ■

Mart, Tdl ^Wi you bafc no faodf it ihc Juuft, tadOq^
the dons.-'

ffiUf. TlKy'D'ODtlK'^'^J wth th«« tfwy^ t«edt D|Ka
the^door, they feafEh'J'ha ^ht all over the Bode fu Wf
Lo^ ^%fk, and Sir J^try Jamei, who meic 6bi tt> hide
tbcoifHvasin-tiK&r immUht my Mifo«ifis Chttt and Bsttiooaii.

Mtnf. WatdotheWooKfllMntiiiltlheJiicnibiiow-}

rMMTti Ar. ay, thkies an aWd fince^ yoo went to Psrisy
thnt'sfaaidlyayoui^MUiliD Itxmduts be kooWn ofUs
Lcd£^ for 'em.

Gtr. BailiBs, J^msfimnCi, w i Ciiy*Gon&ib1e «c inoM
people ia compa^bnofihan* .

Jiitfrr. And Me aic ntt lb oodb Afittkt to lie tftlon jv
Watch, as by the Hearing nudnight KatnUfiS tif Bean
Women.

Monf. Jamie. -ha^ ha, ha. . ,.

ij^ar. ^Wbcfc aw.<h(y i I tiepp.thff'aregoie ^«l! '.

tli^jtf.iKo, Sir, ^ OR below^ ^ Stuirfaot, Qidriweit-

ing at thai Coich-maiu

far. Cofte, yp^l^gw^dMy«tfi:m£ce,«itbyQuWaiEen
no Gchtlcoian can come hither, but they hwc ifac hltdli*
gcrce ftraight.

ff^ait. Intelligence firom us. Sir, riiey QiaiM ^Wtt AAe
here ifwecou'd help it. J WB&rfiwtvifh '«cncho|k*d when
w^lce.then)cpmierid rfor th^hring Jach'gpodAoandis'ban
St. Jtmes's ParK,^ jw, lanhlieg ab(^ in the &ect8,;ib«t ive
):^QD^ W^MCTf have bQt a Ut kft; 'tis waUJf inect^kcep'our
money ifipuv Pockrtf for Vm j t amfwl Ihik pit^ finwotMi
and (ix pince in half Crowns for Coach hire at fcvaal times iot
a^.tl» ,d«<tkh'd-tv^£lf^, Kid!wh(UtIjidtV:hd6z.1i«gPi
on«nwrlHBgin W,.Ql«)ffii«r^ flw,Jtid :me |tayfaf.ftl&iQC
flic bad no money : but 1 wanted thft'Oowmeafg^joUhnsn*
btridcsthe Lord that kept ,4lct,'v«»lood 'Customer to out
^°^^:^ tfl.^m^iaa^ Iwjle .a'fjflnfimocet«(^ wnmg-

Gtr. ArnanoiHonour! ' ,l ^i .j ■ ■

Mtnf, Vcrtandblcu, pleafcnt; filitf tfj ff»Y%.M -^ .

. The Genikmatt D^Kciufg-Tliaftir. x^-p

Ger. Go, ff>, Sitnb, (hut thedooir, I hear 'eni coming up*
fTMit. iDdccd, 1 daienoc > tficy'fl kick mc down flaiis, if
Ifbould.

Gtr. Go jeo, Rafcal, I fay.

(The Waiter flMt tbi doer, 'tis ibmP *fe« «f *«, e»f o- Floua
<m^ FlifC Of VioMdt^ ^rikitifiht Waiter, tmd come up to
tbeTmhU.

Ger. Thunce and Tlirt upon my life* i M/c/r.

Ladies, lam ftnry you tiaVMioVbliinfMrsinfOti'rSef vice*
this is meci piefling. and argues a gicat necclTity you have foe
men.

Flotm. Yob need not be afraid. Sir, wc will ufe no violence

to yoU, you HCnot'litfotOMSfcrvic^ ? weknowyou— —

Flirt, Ttw hot Sciviccyoutiivc \xtti in iomm\y, mikcs yoa

unfit for ouis now \ befide!^ you begin to be fomethiitg too old

^lUtWeaiefor thebriks tfcizaVo^fevtmeeriot tigiiian.

Ctr. N^, fabh, 1 Itn not tod old yet, but ir] old acquam-
tance wilt ttiake jiny taan old'; bdides, to tdt. ycu'theuuth,
you an come alittle to catly forme,' for I am not'drunk }Ct %
W,\ ^re aicyourbrisk young tneawhoarc always diunk, and
perhaps have the happinc^ not to know ) ou.
FUunt The h^iptneft not to knott us .'
tUrt. The bappinere not to Iffiow as .'
Gtr. Be not angry, Ltdits } 'tis tather happineti to have
pbi&K to CottiCi tlian to havfe-it paft, and therefore thtfc
Gentleniea are happy in ne(know4ng you.

Mart. I'de have you to know, I do know the tadies too,
aodfitvill not^fo&thctionoaiofthc L^ies acquaintance for
any thing. . . .-.-^ r.

FUm. Not for the pleafuie of b^inning an acquatiitmce with
us, as Mt.GtTrard fays: hut it is the general v^nif. of yoU
Town-Fop» to laydiitn to all good dcquaimatice sfii pcifons
of Hc»iour4 yoH cannot let a ■ Woman pafe iti rhe ^W/ at
midnight, but dam you, you know her ftrait, yoi| know her>
but you wou'd be damn'd before ' ycAi wou'd Uy tb much for
OK In a McrcAsShop. - '.

Ger. He has ^ken it in a FrMc^-houfe, where he has very

good credit and I'darc teear yoQ-may make him eat his words,

Mtuf. She docs winr a Gown indeed : Ihc H io her dHli-

S X : ' - abilV

a 60 7^ OentUmM Dmdng-MajUr'.

abiliee, ttus dKhatuttKjis agreatModcin £ng/«n^t CheVVio*

men love jchc diQiabUics as wsH as the meni nti ioj.

(Pttpii^ miiUr her Serm^.
riirt. Well: if we dlouM {bT and (u^ wtthjoa, 1 wat-
tant yoH wou'd bo bragging of it to moncnv.amobgft you*
Comiades thatfwbadjtbcCompanfoftwoVVoaienof Qot-
litj at the Frttub-haxki and name us.
Mm. Pleafant Jilts. .<^J^.

Ger. Na upoi our Honours, we would not br^ (^ yoas
.Company. ,-
i\f0fifr. Ujiion your Hoiuuis ?
A*»rf, Npfeith.

Fleiu. C^mc, we will ventarc to fit down then : yet t
know the vanitf of jou tocn* you cou*dDDt:coatainyoiu
leWej from bracing.

Gtr. No, no.' yeu Women tiowadays have found out the
pleaCiire of bragging, andwill allow U th« men no longer*
. Mmti. 'thacfotc indeed we dare not lUyto Tup n^diyou >
for you wou*d be fure to tell on't. "

Ger. And wc arc fooa^ men who flaod upon oar ReputS'
tions.
Fhm. You are rcry flealiint, Gcntleniieib
Mart. For my part I am to be man-y'd Aoftly, and know
'twould guicUy come te my miftreflb's car.

Ger. And for my part I muA gp viiit to monoW mcsata$
betimes a new GtyMiflrc^ and you know thc^ ve as h>
quUilive as ptedfe in the City.

ftirt. Come, come ! pi4y leave this (odUn^ ; fit down agcn*
and tec us bcipeak Supper.
Ger. No 'nith, I dare not.
Mart. Bciidei, wc have fi^ii'd.

KoKi*. No matta, we only defiTe you fiioa*'d h»k in)> wbile
we eat, and put the gUfs about^ or (q. (Ger. mtd Mar. fffir
Flirt. Pray, Rty. togantf.

' Gir. Upr>nmy Iffcldarenoti

Flmn^ Upon our Honours we wtU not tell. If you aic in
earaeft.

Gtr. P'fluw, p'ftiaw 1 kiiow the vanity of yen Wo-
men, you cou'd not contain ytiur fetves&om brag^ng.
' Monf. Ma foy / is it certain .' ha, ha, ha .' hark you Ma-
. ..-* dam.'

IteQtfillmmDMeiiig-Mafitr: a«,

!r"i.?"!! '°"^?^''.'"' J"" "■»" "y Ro.ft.m«t>

Toull Ipal ycui Tndt b; bnggjng of ^oui giins,

Tbt fitent Sow CMad m) does at moft Grains.———

da .

Ftirt. YourScmnt, MonGeurFop,
Film. Nay, faiths donoceo, wewUI nomorc tell— —
V«!/: Then yod wouU of a CIa(^ if 70a had it, dal's the
only lecret you can Itecp Jainic.
Mfrt. I am glad- wcaie rid of theic jilts.
Ger, And we have ta][en a vety tujicujat;! occaflon. '
Mnf. W|it I nuA wc leare (he Lady then, dis is dam
CinHty £■%/»* tnon Syf.

flirt. Nay, Sir, yon ha« too much of the i*«w» Eyre to
IukG) little honour and good breeding. (fMimUmttck
itmf. Dee yontinkctothenfwcet Madam, Ihavcmafliof
de Pftrub Eyre >
Fiift. More then any Fineb mail Iwathing.
AAm/^ Auh, you are the curtotlcbamc, qioit-blcu, I (hall
(lay then, if you think £>. Kfonfi^ur Gtntrd, you Will be
certain to fee the Lady to momw, pray not forget, ha, ha Ju,
Gir. No, no. Sir.
Afyrt* Tou will go then i

Gtr. I will go on a Foob Errand for once. {ExttatGet-
Ffaw. What will you eat. Sit? {rani W Martin.

Mitf. Wat ybo pleafe, Madame. "
Ftun Dehear, Waiter, then fome youne Partridge. '
ir«/i. Whatelfe, Madam.' ' 'o ^

Kin. SomeRuiFa.
»'<>f. Whatellc, Madam'
Ftirti Sq^ young Phea^ts.
(Fiit. Whatelfe, Madam?
Fliii. Some yoiutg Rabits, IbveRablts.'
»U. What elTe, Madam I ^

Flmi. Saj- , ■ ■

Mmf. Dis Ei^S»' Walter i^hlswal elfc, Madam, will
nine me, tell^, not]. C-ffiJe'

W.*. Whatelfe, Madam;

Mnif. Wat elfe, MaSam, agen .' call no the Rmci Wai-
let. ' ■■

'^.1;;. Whatellc, M«hm?

S 3 M„f.

26% The GentkuMu Dtuutttg'Mj^]"

Menf. Again, cal! up the French Viakec of QveMtx^ mxM'
teftc, vcntcrc, Vitc,— — Auh, Madam, tfac.ftiipidity (rf the
£ng/H',Waifi:r»I hate ihe £»£/(/'' yVaitEt,iitsn foy^Eu ff^MUr,

Flirt, Be not in piffion, dear M6n&ur.

J^nf 1 ki&yoUT hand cil{ligcanl;e| • Abdani.;;
Eaitr AFtertd) Scu!^m.

ChwePierot, Snvitcur,,SeMlt«uri (Ki£h the Se$iSm.
. or ca a mangat, ' ' . , .,.,.■,

Scull. En voulez voiis de C^api Sdugiila..

Floun:Y.^ . ^,.- :...■. -•. >' .. ..'.

* SfW/. fic Paittifc, d« Fity/aq, dc .Q««tIeW . . ,

Monf. 'this Bougre vil mine me top, but he fpnlc wU ikC
ht\ Eyre and ^ace* , 1 cafinot ;lH(t :^ hold, his tongw, yentie,
c'ctlafTey, ^icfbt, van^n. . ,^ . (£x. ScoU «W rtf «rw.

^cW/.. Aii^ dc litd flate de- -7^

Monf. Jamie, vat-en. (Ex, ScuU. anirttwrnu

5e»//, And dcUttl plate de -T-—T-

Moi<. Ce Efface go dy'vwy.,. , (E*. Sculj. jji^ /iflirw.

Scullf An^ dc litel de , 1 , i, i , . ;,

Af*»y: pe F6urtn*g£, ,. de Bye, .vrtrO^ . ^ gtv ,

jj^win, VVhaf's.thatCheefe that ftinks?,..: ^.i ,

Manf. Ay, ay, bcfureit flin|{ccxtit<ncti^,.,I^frat nt-en;
but i^y. till Idtinkdy ^l^b^^hfrc's tg 4#t (ffKty f'clbw's
health, Ma3?W. ,. ij, ,.■ - ' '■■•■ ' ■■'

Flirt. Miilt we drink the Sa^ions heal^ ?,;...'.
' Afoo/.' &uh, you will not, at (|iroblimi^t^;jkiadani> hes
the Quifiniet for a King/nayj for a. Ct^n^fy^i^ AlixM.

FkiM. But how [hall wc divcrtifc ouc relye» till Supfci be
ready i _.,. ^ . ■ ;;.

. Fiirudn we have better E)iverti{er9en|)^thisCfnt)eiBaii?

Fiona. But I think we^^.bctfercarrytheG^lennnboinc
with us, and beopfe it is already lati^ Tv^at ho^c, and diva-
tifc the GentlcnBl at Cards, till it be rciii^ iy fow* V Vai-
tcr, let it be hrou^t whm ^u je^y to,crw li^g^ hti'd by,
in Mu/Iari^Mey, at the SignoftheCrwi^i-S^rt.'. .
■ iAouf: ftt the CreoKed-BiBet .'' . . ' . ; . '. .

Bfrt,. Cotpr, Sir, ctunc, . ■'.''.'.'

7tifa»/. Mort-blew, I have tak« the Vow'((incf my laft
Clap) never to go again to the Bouidel. . , - ■

fleun.

3i< <3aitieiftm Dttn^g-Mafitr. %6^

PlMii.WfatteltiBBtH«lel.^ . '

Mmf. How call yoB the Qamc of your Heufe?

FJirt, TixCmkfJ-iHUt.

Mmf, (lov w>j the Bawdy-hpKlc. vert aad bleu.

Ffamm. Hqw,.oui Lod^ngl we'd hxvc ycu to know - - — ^

Manf, Auh, idoe bleu, IwouM.not know it, dc Creoked-
SiBet, hah, ha.

Flirt, CotUt 3b, - t . ; . .

A^mf. BcRdes, if I go wit you to (he Boiffdelj jaa will tell,
moTfrblue. " ' ';...;--

Flout, fW, fie, conoe along.

Mm/. Beftdie^ r^ttfbetitttvfa.wiiMiitli^fWDeiayai-if
you Cwu'd-tcll now.

Vlitt, Caaae^ cbnirdot^- w^WflVnot Mi

MSmfi But irilfyqirptDTriw tben-tebavtthrcaie or tny bo-
■^OU^s Pny» good Mahm, t^*pc dc care of my hoMuir, pny
have (fccarc trfmy hoi)cur. VViH-you have care of my.hoiaMir .'
pttf have db <ttte of my honom, and do tux tell; if yoii can
littpit) prar* dear M^daim, do not tdl. (/Oiuelf:M''tm.

Flirt, f woa'd not epHfor fast of lo£i^ you, ai; Lov« foi
yon wilfKiaketneftdtt. ^ .

/Wiw/. Why, doyontoveme?'

I'fifY. Indecl I cannot help tcUag jtcu now whit m^' nto-
ctefly (wght to qnceal^ but my eyes wou'd diTclofe it top^! I
hive apofen fat you. Sir.

Mmf, APaiSonforme.'

F/irt: An exfreampaffiioi^ (leuSfr,'f(iii9itfoFnMvii fo
mighHlyFrei^cift, fo ^rceableFraBciE'i tntVfftol) youniftie of
mjhearratHotnc: Gomealen^ ' • '

iV«»y^ But is you pation (incerc ? ' -

Biri. . Tbe traeftln-thfe V'^siM.

Ma^VeU riterr;1¥^[Kn^'iny boir witrtttec for oac night.

Eiirt. ^or one pi^f » 'don*t you Mllct«> 'that-, and (b t9u

' WDu^d ieave Rie to nibitoV', but 1 tdvevwCo, I'casBCilbparl;

witbyou, TOumufrkrtpitacfjr^oodirtiali, if you wHtUwe
niir.- tah*tlwrt ybii f^ my heart.' '

Manf How, keep, ^Br, dt VVhort £«(./(J* haw ntjt-
Ijpge but Ifeepe, kccpclii deie moutbsYioiva dtys tcfte dap :
KHtQctlr'Cwveno^ghcfo'lpiepde'niild^ 'ttay)tey.

Ftfrt. Na)r,fi^'[jeBi!pt,tlfc^^^bptconBewe'H*Ifc
on*iathomc S4 M*'"

1^4 ybtOtKtkmmiyMeiffg-Mdftr. ^

Abu/. Umb — V- (6t fit, ver vd de AnKxitc of de WCt

docs alway end in kttp, ha.' keep, ma for, keep, ha* » ■- *

li 1^1 ii^ Hop mbf maktt the Intntttion,
Jtymn^^f ttbiifmlmOmaum. (fir,

t, - / '' • —

ACT n. Scene I.

Stfff Don Diego « (Ar Spaniih Hito/ Air/. Caution £u ^Q^

Dm Dk^. TTA V E yoo had a ^(mm/I^ can ofdie Bonoui
X.1, ofmyFamay ? that is to lay, hate you kept
upmyDuighier dole in my abfencc, as Jdticdei?

Cjitf. 1 have. Sir > but U wa$ as mudf as I couM do;

Dm. Iknewdutifoi'twasas tm^has Icou'd dotoke^
up ha Mother. I that havtbeeit^5|ytw, loolfyoa. ;

GoMt, Nay, 'fisa hvdTask tokcep up an£iM/i/b W^t»nao.

Tkn* Ks haidosit is for thofc who are not Kept t^ to ^
hoiieft, k)ok you ccm LieentU Sifler.

CsHf. How novr, Brothcn; I am Cut trq Husband ocva
keptraeupt

Dfi. 1 knew that, therdoK 1 ciyed am lietatM Siflo, a|
the SptmarJi have it
' taut, hat yoaSfmnidrJtxit too ceaConous Brodicr.

Dm). ,You £ffg/^ .Women, Sitter, give us too oiuch caufe
n^ok joaj but you aic futc mj. Daugutz has not &en a mm
£nce tny departure f

Csiu. No, not lb much as a Chtncb-tnan.

Dm. As a Ouircb-tnan (r<M«).Itbankyoufoidttt, not*
Chuich-man ! nota Churcb-tnan.'

' Cam, No, not Tq much as, a Chi;rch-man i bat of any,
one wDu'd think one Plight tnift a Chuidi-tnan.

Do». No, we arc boM enough iri trufting them wrirft our
^Is, III never V(uA cm w^ the body of m^ Daughter, look
m GMorJa, yoa fot what comes of truftmg Qiuicb-nicn
iKK fa) England 'y and 'tis becauTc tt)c Women govern tbc Fa-
IBiltcs, that Chaplalai ^ (c) iQu^ ii;t ftfiiipo. uuil 9 (^hur^

p Bfi -. "^ .. » mA a Cpvud with 7t»r boixnr, a Fbol, with
ygu ieaet, aGamefla widi yam purle, mOkr asaPneft
withywtt Wife mDau^ucr, look foUjGiwrV*, lamooFool,
look you.
Cmt* Nay» IkDOwyou.aicawUetaanBfoiher.-
Dm. Why, SAcr, I have been fifteen years u SftmJot.it,
at Icrenl tioKif Uxk you: Now in Spaut be is wi& cnoudi
fhat is grave* politick enouEh, that ^ys little, andhonouraUe
enough that is )calous * and ibot^ I lay it, that (bould noc
^y it,I am as gttTc,gnim and )alous,a9 znySfsniard bfeaihin^
CtMt. 1 know you aie, Brather,

Dm^ «4 I will be a SfsaUrd in every thing ftUI, and
wiltiut cbntorjif, not I, to their ill favqut'd Bt»l^ Osttonti,
for I will Wear my Spamip? HaUt Ail), I will ftr^my Spmiflr .
Whiskas ftill, apd I wiB cat my Spamjh Olio flilt; and tny
Daughter fiiau ^a Maid to hei Husbands Bed, let the E«gi^
Cuftom be wtut 'twill: I would hin fee any linical cunning
. mflnuatkig MonGcor, of die age, debouch, or ileal away my
Draghtcr; but well hasfhe 6m my Coidin ? How long hs
|ie been b £ivfW?
C<Mtf. Tbcte three days.

Cm; And the has fyaa him, has (be ? I was contented he
fhoa'd fix h« blending him foe her Hudnnd i but ibc bs
fccn no body elfe upon your certain knowledge f
' Camt. No, no, alas I how Ihou'd Sixf 'tis impofltUe tbc
pwrfd. , .

Doa. Where Is her Chaihbct? fvaf let ^ (ce her.
C4wf. Youll find ha, poor Cteanire« ^cep, 1 warrant
yaai Oi if awake, thinking no hurt, nor (^ your coming this
mocning.

Don. Let OS gp to her, Z long to Ck iier, {nor innocmt
yfrttth. CEtetmt.

Enttr Hippolita, Gcnard, ^m/Prae ft a Jifimut.
Cer^' Am I not come upon your own Summons, Madan^?
and yet receive nw fb ?

ISff. My Suminops, Si? nolaffureyou; an4 ifyoudo
notli)wyouriecepti«n:,Ianioothc^it> fbrlainnot us'd to
Kodvc- ntmi I'd have you to know.

Cr«r. She is beautiful beyond all ihingi } ever &w. [J^Je.

Ifof. I Uke Urn cxircnKly. lAJiA,

■ ■■■ Ger»

^66 Tht ^mikm^ D^Kia^M^:

' Hiff, BaoMTc I «ti npf.

Gir, 1 in oome on ptoj^ to ftoifr yout&df, doiM te>
^ve me fo unkindlf.

Hipf IntI ytMs l4dnMirffrtoteodvcaMt (fiinrhisnot
IicaiaiMnii die Houfe befert^ &nt ni/ Ccufiir, tfnstwdrf
foombrdhaveyoutokncw. -

Gir. ThcH ^^ue^ to M trtcr the mote trtteome, rd
lave yon to kAott'.

H^; WtMtA)]i()nfflockmefc)0> IbKmlawbQtilwax-
bicd ItiD];^ Gill i ■ but I thougftt- ^ou GaUine of thrTown
lad been bMKtfitad, then to MOCk a jpooi Oirl ih h^Fadias
oirtv Noofc.' f hare hmd indeed 'Us s pm of good baediog
to ^HOekl^ofildbehiAcl their Bicks^, but not to their Faces.

Gtr. Pretty CredtUM.' (heftaiitototily die BcanCybutthe
Tnnoccncf of aft Angela ' C^^*

Mock foudeafi W&! no, X onlyrrpeated the wbrds, becaale
the? wcie ytKiv, fWfct Mifs, w*rt We Rkc we initate.
' Mijf. Deii Mi6< Aveet NKfs.'- how cime 7011 and I b
well acqiumtcd ? This is one of jour confident TiicksioO} as
I have been told, you'll be scquaititdd Ivitfa a Wohiatf ' h die
"ximpya catT hil^ her ora a BenA hi dit Pby hpufe, or to
>Ur-Goacb: t»\ nttdnot vrotl&ttat mot GohfidetKtf, finoe
you cou'd coiMk «t the great GtHciy- window juft now. Bat
ipiaf whtf (Itttt^^y^ the gfafi jroatiave broken ^

Gn>. Pretty Ciature/ your father might have aaie dx
Window; digger then, Gixie he h^ fb Ane a D3Ughter,and will
~ Udtatlbw people to Come in at rh(i dooi* to her.
-'. aiff. fiftiOiMVHn.' wen, 'rishardttpl4\ing-tfe Hypo-
crite with him, I fee, than with my Aunt w Father; and If
-diffimuUtfiDi wttte^'fiot Tcry na^idV toa Wbimn,- I'm fuiel
GOu^netufcitatthistitnci but chcmaskoffimplicirif andin-
noceitcy fe as iK^r ^ an tntriguJWg^ Woman, .^theituslt of
*RciycHiroaSft«s-Hfln, Aiy&j. ' '-■ (Afili.

Ctr. Why do you look awaj;, dearcrt Mifs ?
'' B^f. &elaufi:ybaquaricll*H'wi^ me juftiiow for frowning
"upon youi afKi-Fcanwrt hdp it, ifl'look upon you.

Qw. O let me fee that Face St any rafc.
^ Hiff. Weutt yiuhiTC me frown uponyouifoilAahbe
■fuietodo't. -:-■"" ■ •■

■■ ■ ........Cou'ilc Ctr.

the GattUmm Dweit^'Maptr. %Sf

Off. Come, 111 fland hix: you have dooe your nrotft to

my heart already.
.H^ Now I ottc not lo(^ upon him, la& IHuidil hot be

aUfe to keep my word. (^jKA.

Gfr. CmiCiIwixcady, andyetlamafiaulofherfitowns.

^ (A/Ut;

Cdiiie>look,lIh-^teady, ln»am ready.
Biff, ftut I am not rca^. (AfiJe.

Get, Turn; dear Mifi, Come, Ih— — .am ready.
HqM. .'Ate you mdydicn Mil look. (Tmmtiipim iim.
Nft bldi>t caonot bawa apon him if t Ibou'd be t)aflg'd.f-.<</^

Gert Deac Uifiy I thank you, that took hai )io tgrrpor ia'U

H^ No^ I cannot fiown for my heart fot blufhu^l dun't
at to lodk upcm mcnj you mu& know.

Ger. nitwctepombleanr thing cou'd, thoTcblufluswoa'd
iddtobaBcaitfrs Well, ba(hfiilnc& is the only out-of-fiiflii-
ooedtMngthatlsagreeaUe. . iAfiA*

SSfp, Ih h-— like dils man firangdy, I waq going to

(ay lov'd tiink Coungjetbeo, Hiffaltta^ make ufe.o( the only
t>ppo[tunity thou canft have to en&anchcc thy felf : Women
ixamlf (they iay) never knew how to ouke ufe of thcit time
tiliitwaapal^ but let it not be. &icl (oof a young Vvonunof
tMsAge; mydamA'dAuntWillbeftiriingptcrently; well then,
courage, I uy > Htpf^itOt thou art &1II fourteen ycaisotd, fiiifc
fotthylilf. - . iAfide.

Ger. So, I have looked tipoitlicr lb kng, tilll amg^wo
bafhfiil too * Love vid Modedy cent tog^merlikc lUoncy and
Covctoulncis, and the more wc have the lets we can fhew it.
I dare not k)ok her in the &oe now,nor fpeak a word. (_4fiitt

Htff, What, Sir, roethinks you look away now.

Gfr* Becaiilejrou would not look upon me, Mi&

f£M. Nay, 1 hope you can*t look me inthciaoe, fiqoeyou
haye-diinc fp rude a thing as tp i^ome in at the Window tipon
me; 'oonie,co[iie, when once wcWooicn find the tnenbalu^l;
^n we take heaiti liow 1 can look upon you as Icn^, at yoti
will) let's fee if you can firown upon me now/ '

Ger. Lovely. Innoccncy ! Ih, ^e\^ m^ fwcar I aa\'iftosm
upon you, Mm.'

Hiff. So I knew you <were afham'd of what you have dope \
well, lincc yoa are alhani'd, and beaufe yau did not come c^T
your own head, hut werefcntby myCoufin, you fay. Ger.

s6J T%e Gerakntdd DoHei^-Mdfi^

(V. WWchlwonderaf. (JfiJe.

Biff. Foi qll ihcic rcafons I do fbrgin you.! ,

Gtr. In t(Acn of your forgivencfe then (deitcft MHs) let me
have the hooout to ki(s youi hand.

' £S^^. Nay, thoe 'ds, you men zre like our little Shock-dogs,
if wedon't keep you o^from us, but ufeyou a little Jundlyiy«(
gfDW fo iidling and (o tiooblefome, there k no enduring yoo.
' Ctr. O dai Mils, If 1 ^ lilie youi Shock-d(%, let'it i« in
hii PrivilegK.

Hif^. Why, I'd haveyou know he doesnbt lye mth nx.

Gtr, *Tis was well guds'd, Mifs, for oiac fo irmoccot.

fiiff- No, I always kick him off from the Bed, and tMter
will let him come near it \ for of late indeed 1 1 do not know
what's the ir^afon) I doii't much care for my %ock-d(^ nor
my BaEMs. ''

Gtr. Othen, Mifs, I majr have hopes i /bt after die Shock-
dog and the Eabin, 'tis ttje mans tarn to beiidovM.
' Hiff. Why cou'd you be fo good-natured as to oome after
my Shock dog in my Love ? it may be indeed, tathcx thenaftn
one of your Brother-men. " "''"

G€r, Hah, ha, ha»^-po(» Creatuie,a Wwid^r of Innocency !

Uiffi But I ftc you are humble, becuife yba wou'd kifs my
&and. ' " '

G«r. No, I ambitious dierefbif.
c HfpJ». Wcl), all thB fooUng [»i XoSd tim^ 1 mpff tpakc tlc^
ter UK of It.' I oou*d let you kifi thy band) 6ut then I'm
afnid you wou'd take hold of me and 'carry nie away. ^^Jidu

Otr. Indeed I wou'd not.

Hiff- Come I know you WOu'd.'

Gtr. Truly I wou'd not.

Hifp. You wou'd, you wou*d, I know you wouM.

Gtr. I'll fwear I wo' trot — _ by-~.
' Hipp. Nayi don't fwear for you'll be thcapter to doit iheoi
I wou'd not have him tbrfwear it neither j he does not like me
furewellenoi^h to carry me away. -' (^dfih.

Ger, Dear Mils, let me Idls your baud.

Stfp. I am fuTc'you wou'd carry me away. If I fbou'd.

Gir, Benot afraid of it.,

Hipf. thy, I am afraid of die contrary ; either he difliftes

Vie, and ttlcitfore will not be tiouhtcd with oie, or what isas

■• •■- ■■■■■■.■ bad;

ba^lxlcrtws in£^bdnll,orfcaifiltodi^ealcini:. {^ffJe.

Gtr* Tiuft me, fwcctdl i I cao ulc no violence to vog.

HiM. Nay, I am fine you wou*d catiy me away, what
fkou*d you come In at ^ Window fbt^ if you did not mean
toft«ilfiie?

Gtr, If I flnu'd cndeaTooi tfj yon nugtit cty om, and I
Qwold be uxvcnted.

hSf^. DuU, dull man of die Town .'are alHikethct (jfSJe.
He is as dull as a Crnntry Squfav at Qitefiions and Commands!
No, if I Iboa'd ctj <m neret fi> loud ; this is (jiiite ac'dic fur-
tba Old of the Houlc and dicreno body cou'd hear me;

Gir. Iwillootgiveyoathcoccafion, Deardl.

Hif. Well .' I will quicken tl^ fatTc i tfit be vofBble.(jt&le,
Nay, Iknow you cometofieal ok awayi becaiife I aitiaa
H^dsy and hare twdve huodied pound sTcar, lately leti ^
by my Moihen Brother, vdudimyFatha cannot tQeddibwiifa
and whidi tatbediiefcfi icaibn (I fuppefe; why be keeps me up
Ibclofe.

<^' **«•' ' f-^.

ISff. So- — this has made MtnconCdet, O money, potr-
ttHd money.' how the ugly, old, crooked, ftraight, hutidm
yoDng Women are beholding to thee ?

Ger, Twelve hundred pound a year i .-

flip. Befides, I have ban told my Fortune, and the Wo-
roui laidi fiiQu'd be ftoln away becauic (be £ijs *tis the Fate of
IMrcfles to be lldcn awa^.

Ger. Twdve hundred pound a year ~-. C ^fi^'

I£m. Nay mote, IhedeTcribed theiilantome,that wastodo
it, ana be was as like you as couM be / have youany Bcodicn ?

Ger. Not any .' 'twas I, I wanrant yon Swcetefl.

Hiff. So,he underfiands himfelf now.

Ger. VVdl, Madun, Ance *twas foretold you, what do you
thioIicoQ't ? ^ in ifain, you know, to telih Fate.

Hjm. I do know Indeed ther lay,'m to no purpoTe ; belides
the vVoman that fold me my Fortune, oc you have bewitdi'd
roe;.-lh— think. (Sight.

Gtr. My Soul, my Lift, *tis you have Charms powtatful as
numberiefi, c^icciaUy thole of your Innocence inefiflable, and
do furpri(eibe-waTy*fl Heart! fich mine was, while Icou'd
allicminc, bmttQw'ibyoHnfbicrn.

170 Tht<3ii$tkmMfD*iui0i-X^Jhi

Hiff. WcQ»wcll,gctrou0fDttt)en»rUIwop|t&ftlbryjour
Uke. I

.Ger. NaT* TOO muft ffi with mej fwectcfl;

Hi>p. Well, I &e you will paftwith fbe JffWd ; bityooH
have ihc kecfntig of the Cabinet to vrhidi yoa comipit if*

Ger. CofD^ come, i»y Detnft, letuf Ncgnflr: Ftntuqc as j
wdl as Women muft E>e taken in the humour*

Enttr f«n nami^ b0fiify tt jf ^ *(«. Pqq IMegp and
Mrs, Caution miWMttilj ifttr, ,

?iv.OUils,Mift.'yourFatlKf,itfi:«[nsi»{iift|iaflra!iiyM, '
and hae is coming in upop yoii-

Hiff. My Father!

Dttt, N^ I>au^tcr / and « Man .' 1

Cam. ^ Man .' » Mjiniv ibc Hoi^ /

Gm Ha.' -— r-wMni^wih<iit.'«£^MNr4L

mn* WI»tfliaUI<lo^Awtr-^My, P»9jlHrBotCraa
me>fa!t^le^nc about, ap if yqvMiMftCotwt- (X<4iir |
(bertim.

Dm. Is t}us your Government, Siflerj and thisywtionoeent
Charge, chat hath not f«en ^bc &ct of a nan tUs tw<Iv^
month ^» ^4 DMiU.

' CtfW. O fuie it is DOC a qwi, it cannot be a Man / CFifO
.(nhrSff&aclti*

Dpi. ^t-caDtiQt b^ a Man .' if he^he rat » Mi» Jb^ %I%;nIi
|[ie "ha^ ^ loviii^f br dte h^ toO| iWr* m e/ CfV#*

H/pp. Do not fccm ta mind thera, ont danso w^ ox karf
rac abo^t (till.

Oct, What dc'cm?aBtff*t? C«fA-t f*H(pp<

Don. ^cy..''thcyaieftolick, a dancing,.

Caut. Indeed they arc 44Kii)& I thw{i> vylhyiNkce?

Don. Nav, hold a.tittle; t'lla^akc 'efl).dflr«c iRttw De^ls
namei b^t il Ojall not b^UCiiiitufrJa I ii>r4vu hii Sivord,
' Caul. ONeicc/ whyNdecc: - Cai\ft\i»:\ktUihim.)

Gew. E>Qyoaheaxhci? wbatdoyanmi^n-^ (jif^tttHipp^

Him T»kq no notice of then y JUit w^Ui ^bntt ftiU> and
lipgaliftle, (ing a Coraot.

ftr, I sjn'c iing i butruinjRivifyw.win'
.' i7<>9, Aic you fbmenry? WctU'|lbewithyoii»^lHrJMM/A
, Caif. OK Niece, Niece, why Niece, Ohr^-^—
' Den. Wh;, Daughta, my d^/ paMi^> >VT fluiDMny
,^ fuinr.

ndne, ntyplagiic (Stnf^Hi^ffttfnmCamionteittemarJi

tm Wftb bi Sword dtMiim*,

tSfp. Mbdhlqa not but 4ancc and fine oq.

Grr. A pretty time to dance and ling inde^, when I have

a SfaaioTdvi^ naked Toledo at my t^ : no, foif cxcyfe

me, MUs, fiom fbolingany longer.

Uipp. O my Fathor: npy ^thac.' po«r Father.' you axe
wdcome pray |^ve me youi Blefflng. (Titrmag ^m.

"Dan. MyBleffing, En borit mala.
Hipp: What, am I not your Daughter, Sii?
Don. My Daughter, mimal-, mmU'
Hipp- My name's Biffoiitt-, &, I don't own your Sftntpt
names i but .fny Father, why do you ftightm 0|tf fp.' you
yoa know I don't love to Ik a Swwd : what do yoa mean
to do with that ugly thing out?

Ven, I'll (bciv you, Trapjar £m^ ' ^mn kmra, thou
dy*ft, ^ _ ( j!i<5* *( per,

G«r. Not if I can help it, goodZ)oiii but ^ thf nwfcf fO^
give me, I find y9u mUiake yput m w, J fuf^iofc fopie .>SfuiMv»-i
nasaflrontedyou. " ' (Dr4WJ.

pan. Non^ but thee, X«ir«s, aod ^lou dy*ft foi't^ ( Fight.
Cant. Oh, oh, oh —— -.-help, help, help. '
Hifp- O- — what wSl you kill my pppr Dancing-Maftet ?

Dm, A Ehncing-Maltcr^e's a Fcncii^-'Mancr lathcr,! tb'nk.
But ishcyoor Dancing-MMlct ? Urpph-'-p— :

G<r.Somudi Wit ^ Innpco^y Mere nevei together before.

(Afidct

Dm. Is he » E)at)dn^'^Maflei ? [ (Paufuig.

CM(t. .1$ he a Paociiig nuflei ?. He does net look like a
IDatKing,-mancr.

Htfp. fitty . — ,-you.dpfi't kaijv? a pandng-mafter, jou
have not fccn qqc thsle fhc^nqtc years, 1 wanant. ,

CaHt. t^j fatter; lxf( he docs ngt\ook Itl^e a Daoctn&ina'-

^^- ■

Don. May, nay, Panclng-.tn3Rers Idok like Gcntlcn^en.
enougW Sifter } buf he's no Dancing- tpaftcr, by drawing a Swpid
fp btiituy i thop: tripping putjidcs of ^eutlenien '^r^ lilie Gf D'
tlemen enough tn every thing but in drawitig a Sword, anij
CntthfijisaGeutlananhefljaUdyeby mine. ■. (.Fight agtft-

.i*j;p.-oh,hDid,hoa . , . ' ;.' .C^!

27^ The Gentlemim l^^etHg-^^tfet*

Cant. Hold, hold; pray> firotlier let's talk with tilm a fo^
firft, I warrant ^ 1 (lull bap him, and if he conges, you
nay kill him > fo^ tho(il that ciinftru, dicj- laj^ ought io be
hang'd— let's ice

GtT. Poor Mif^/^j,I wi(hl had not fiid thb'oi^fion' ^i^
miring thy Wit ; I have incteafcd my Love, vrfiOtf 1 halve |o{{
my hopes, the common Fare of poor LovcrSt ^A0t.

Cjut* Come, you are guilty by that hanging down of jaat
held. Speak, are you a I>aocii^-mafler ? Speak, fpcak, a
Datidng-mafici?

Ger. Yes. fcMfooth, i am a Dandng-Mafter, ay, ay — '.

Vom. How do's it appear ?

Hipf. Why there is his Fiddle, thereupon theTable,Fatber:

Cant* No bufie-body, but It is ncx — that is my I<kphem
Fiddle.

Hipp* Wby,hekntittomy Coufin JlellyouirishEs.

Cotf. Nay, it may be indctd, he might lend it hhn, fbc
ought I know.

Dm. I, I, bi^ ask Uni, SiHcr, If hi be i Dxndng-maflcfs
where?

Ctaa. Piay.BnMher, let me alone n^tfi hiit^ I k^w iAas
toasklum, fme.'

Dm. Wlmwill youbewiferthanlfnay, then ftand away.
Come, if you are a Danctngmafteti whae's yom Sduol?
tdoiuUy aSndt.

CoHt. Why, hell&y, miy be, hehasDc'«ia otie.

Don. Who ask'd yon, nimble Chap ? S0 you have put arf
Excufe in hi^ bead.

Qer, Indeed, Sir, 'tis no Excufe, I have Ao Schott

Cam, Well.' but who fent you, how came you hidwx ^ .

Gtw, There T ampuzl'd indeed. {AfUii

Csnt, How came you {)hhei» I lay? how— ^

Ger. Why, how, how (hou'd 1 come hithn ?
' thn. Ay,howQiou*dhco)mehither?i9onhfsLeg|b

Catit. So Co Qow you have put an Ezca[c io hb nead tooV
that you have fo you have, but flay

Den, Nay, with yooi &vour, Miftrefi, VH ask Km now/
CoMt. y ticks ^ but you (han't, 1*11 ask him, ud vk yot^
no favoui that I will.

Den. y' fackins bat you ihant ask him, if you go that id
look you, you Pxattle-box yot^ 111 ek him. ' Cm**

iCTW. I wOl ai& fahnj I fljrj come. ~"

Dop. Where.

'dyr. What.' -.-

Dom Minc'safllKwdqueftion.^

Cmm. (IffiB^swdirtwM asyouK. - ' .. . ,

Den. I^y tketi we Ihall have it^ comrj anfwer m^ whcie*s
your Lo^lM? comt;cortK, Sit. '

Citwr* A miewd queflion Ind^ i^, the .Stn^egos Ainitf t
warrant lo. 'I j ' ' for 'ds^priog^iW, yoa kudw.

Don. MoA you make lya for him ?

Cwr. But oomr, Sir, Mdt*sjdut Name > anTminiltotta^
come. .. .'^ .

tirf)^ Hb Namc^ why '^ ah calk mattci to tdl pi) a £dik
Name, I HOpc. >

Cmt .' So, mill ybd idch hiAi to dwit OS ^

l>0M. Why did yoQ fay my qneOiontwaeinitfliRlirJ ^
AioRS then i ■

C<Mtf. And why «cn*d you tiot bt nje dft him th« qncftioii
Aim ? bother, BtodM*, tid ^<At you liw for all your Sfm-
^ wUSoid; Irt aiiold Womah tmkt ^discoveries, th6 jfumg
Fdlows cannot dieat as bi any thing. IM have you t6 knoW i
fo your old Woman ftill to gt^ out vi Inttkur, becaulc yoa
k^M&theMdditrlbilildhaDM^etinthcOKfi: a«oidtb
the wi&, Bvodier,

DcH. Coth^i comtf, leave thii tattling i hihasdiOioiKiia'il
tey Funilyy dcbaudiM iny DdJuditti, and what )f be^M ei-
Wfe himrelf > the f^ni^ pKiT^ &y>> fikcnfts ntitber &tis6i
Cieditois nor the tnjut'd s the wounds of flonbof mitft hiVf
tAdodandwixibds, SiJ^^ftraml

(Ktjfet the Cttftt ^tit SwortLMj nut tt Otftaid.

tSff. Oh hold / dear Fattier, afid 1*0 cortfe^ all

ber. She Will Mt Tuft, after all ('A0,

■ iBff. MyCoiiai feht him, becai((c; aj be &d, he woa'A
hare me recover fliy (bt)dngalktkbcfofcourWecldittt,har;
faig inldi a Vow be wbu'd nertt miai a Wife Wh6 cb(rd aeit
danct a Corafii 1 am ihst I wvs uA<ttiI!in£, but he wou*^
have him GOmi, 6yMi^ I <Mi fo be his Wife as focA ^' 70A
iame, and dietdbrecxfieQed dbcAfatie firom me. '' <

. iaiia. Indeed the TcfituR bobofilus, and the J%iDt#6&*4
R aM hilj U I know hoc in Sf^M 'ds DO^ tk nA^

T Ad

^7i Jk<3t»tltma'Diai^»t.M^l

the Fate to be modi coBMu'd wht tlw Pw^ AxH h«
I will be a Sp«Mr^ Bill ,. , .

Hi^'' Da not you hoi him b; tail niglit he WW* loii
me one this motniiu ? '

Cwt. No not I fee. If Itai^bciiMiW'am'KK'

Ou. Inlee), Aunf, fow (pwolil. I ^ lovl aenoqr
bils you >eiy much. Did «^j|w hqit jviv Aw^ % he
wouMleodbMn^"!*'^ ■

Pr«. YeslllhefwopKlid.l.

Hjf. tool: you then,, Aiwt.

Von, Come, come, youaieadodnf ddFooL
c;«,.S.,(iv«he*il<««be«!((>eww. (MMrMJhc^
bowdidhecomcin: lam liiie I hadtheKey»«(theUlH*^
wWchtinyootrai)»f<i»ii«i*'W««Wei«»Ji'»«H.
H» ifciaipcin j#<ik<mrr<>b<Ci I nifiW'

' cSs. It might behdeed lriiiledleniat>slnD(tUin«e
4)ii^ aid I ve tillMiK vObyoL

i>w. O might Ik foMwhi fowaicfixmGonnwM^

loolE yoM, fOM a Otenew fflrft, i ' M not tawwio

OKnqiiaaiyiouc.

CW^ 'iwMtBf 6o)li timow.

A»VwiW<wi<)ihcR«nnm!h.|F<i|iA<wfK«MCaiil£

f£w. Yes indeed, and indeed. Father, aD the «hita>

sii, W4 OUd, <<!> IMtM theai W Ihxchfilin
aotaletheda>cii«-iwAeAakla<f Ifacezingyaii imit,^
■introail^ and feet, bgr hudlngTOui'I^ib^ lad <tdi|
yoiir Lcigs.

Hipf. No bideed, Fadia i I'd giro lam a BoK CD th> Etfi
ifheAoc^d.

£>M. Pdcelnaoeentj WeUIaakflflntentadymflntt^Jnmi
to da^ > iince, for ought 1 luMnr, you IhaX be napry^ to
anonpv, ac the ne^t dayjK iaithaft, bychsctkie y«u«aay
Kcofeia Cotaot, a Suajmrad I KwV 6rs and Awe T<W
(;ixfm too will hmcii dapaag-oifc, It AtU be fe, and 111 &e
you dance ag felf, you fluU be iny Ghaige ditfe Iwo.dty^ and
(hen I ^ veniuittyouiaelie haad o(.«Jiy'diqaig4i«flci4fai
a ^wcyFref^^ dancin{^.«aftar, IflOkyeu*

CmlrXlili, bai>ca«EcAwgbi forthisiallitim dMt'd
like a (j^ng-m^eib

Vm,

3m. Go, gg, (OH lioK, Ire thfi not ,(foi thcmoft prnj
bctlciibcls'd and pnodotA^n mini iigooilGaillciian? jroii
woi'diievttlArnl. inn-drwAwnn-TT- .

Ca«. We), I%<nl|looktat, l<x>kt<>\

Bm Her, hay ' w**, F|lad,l9 KW bas'gtfii tqach hor,
IwLc&nevKiAiiv Itt^sliw.

MM, Com^tUln.

Dm. Come, cxm, Ita Sa jmtEV'iP' *lKliiA I nndn-
aapd tamliiiig of Dimiitg •» Wt^cmi*.

f%. COK, Mafler.

Gi>. I IhaB bOragt yM yK< dwcft MI& ^ I.lnow if>t a
Sill, i«/dn>Ki4h(n. (<;ifrc«« ei(>p

J«K^ N»J - .

An CoaeiOintiGMId'

iBto. I|ijKill'iiiaei»'d, Fafhtf.^ ;

Dan. Yon nwfi not be alhuii d, ChUd, ys/ali Ixia iMt

H^ Indeidlcanthdliit^Fathcr,

Cm CotBtiixinc, l&i, gl>K>t> . .

Mm. btiMlmi\ tlfim, blfq<c;ooi 'tisrafniAUt
fcn, a«i) I Ihilldo k t> ill: Put. gnti Fatho, go^into the
imiU«ii <)» this oKcoid iheiKM ticcsii MaGacnnq.
)au Jul fa I Oall ho eontidtnt gmugt.

l>«i. Pooc-fooBOi-innocent Cieatuiei well, well, I will,
0>lii> «lioliiitaMn*lsjixlofari<n<s<i4l^ye(oV>"°-
ciMiDaoglwi, hagl«»<r well I w»'d bin fee an; one
Onl tt dohnKk <■; Daiihm from i»,

Mmi Naj, wiM?t»o«gft Fwllei!

ZkS. Yet, rn, |ieo,ehiU,wc«ilUUg»bw]raiiMaid)
MttcndincolsbeeyotvMaid. v

1%, Yb, »>( f Utat, « M»id at raoft timet ynib ha Mi-
IhdiVnoMr. tii*. DiegoW «•(■ Cawion.

dr. Hi retp 1^ « tha ifaol . ;.

»». Nay, Fa*«r, jon peep, mdeed yoi> m)ill not lee ine,
«kniw>ha>ed«yiwMainKin. isUfJliikdmu.

fn. bdoed litde Mlbeis, likii the young Kitten, jnu fa
)poopljT'dwid\«»it»My,tajoohadataioaloaitl

f^. 'Tis true a good old MoirolUlc irot, had i» (akn npb
ininn anor wkh itfttfanly.

9m. Utmm adoK too, deatiA Hi& agdgl'elaM-^

(Caiig »«««'•«'''•

7^6 TUQentkman DMeing-Mt^ef.

Hiff. No, noj cmbncing'good Mf. ^at CMghtto be did
lad Lrtfon you are to ftach «w, I h»« hcaid.

Gtr. Though m-atifciOadiebetheltiofetcAoas and d

■ Tous; 'tis won, Miit, withthe more honour and plealiiie »

■11 that 1 rcpCTit we were' put to't ; the coming in of your Fa'

therashedid^ was thcmoil unluckly thiagthat ever bdelin&

Hiff. What, then you think I would nave gone with ydu.

Gtrt Ves, atid wUl yoa go with me yet} I hope, coixage,
Mi&, wc have yet an oppoitunlty, and the Gallery-window ti
yet open,

Hiff. No, no, tfTwcnt, I would go foe good and alii
but now my Fathn will foon come in ag^in, and may ^uidUy
ova uke us, bclides, now I think on't, you aic a Stiangcr to
tDc. I know not where you live, nor whidier you mi^i cu-
ly xw'i for ought 1 know, you n^tit be a SpJnt, and cany
me to Btrbadoes.

Ctr. No, dear Mi&, I would cany you to Canity tbc V\xf-
Houfes, and HiJt-fark-- ■ ■ —

Hiff. Nay, 1 know 'tis the trick of aH yoa fbtt SpiHt Wo*
siciiaway to/pcak 'em mighty fair at liiltr bitf when you
have got *cm in your Qutchcs, you carry 'cib into 3^i/We,
Watitf 01 ConwaUt which is as bad as to Barhadaut and n*
tha than befcrycd fo, I would be a Pib'ner b JJndn^asX
am.

Ger. Ifte the Air of this Town, without the plcafiucs of it,
is cnou^ to iafeft Women with an avcrlkn for tbc Country*
Well Mifs, {ince it fectnsyou havcfiMDcdifidenccb mcj give
me leave to vi(it you as your Dancbig-nnficr, now you rave
honour'd memdt tbeCharafikr, anduDdcrdut, I may have
your Father's petmiilion to iee you, till you imy betta know
me and my heart, andhavcabetteropportunityto reward it:

Ihft, lam afraid, to know your heart, would legdi&i
great (leal of time, and my Father intends to marry nir, very
fuddenly, to my Coufin who fent you hhhcr.

Ger. Pray, fweet Miff, letasmakethcbettetureof ourtine.
if it be fhon -, But how (hall wc do with dut Coulin of ysun
in the mean time, wc muft nccdi chstra bim ?
- Ihff, Leave that to me /

Grr. Bat what's worfc.' HowOall I beafaktoafi « D»-
dag-Ma&T > w^ era wintcd i«<initinn aid ntieDce co
kammylclf. f^

TbtGen^mm Duxewg-MMJler. 977

'Hlffi A Djtedng'&faool, in half an hour, wiHfumiOiyoa
wirfa tcnns of the An. BcfidcSa Love (as 1 have bcaid lay)
f ^filkt Ui Skhriaft mpk all fort»i6f C^acitics they luvc need
ofiii,Qg^t of Natun, bat what hu Lovcito do vfui\ you ?

Gir^.Vmtt indeed, has made a grave Gouty Scaiefnian
figfuOuclSl the Sotddfirr Aye ln»n his QcJours,a Pedant a Hnc
Goitlcman * taji and^dic vny LM^cr a Poet, iiod thacfoit;
may mike me a Dandng^Maflcr.

J£;^ If be woe yout Mafiet. '

Geri Vai foie, deaieft Mils, there is nothing ellc whidi I
onnoc do Sot ycHi alindy, and-thcNforc may hope to fuccctd
itithaL

Bn$tr DonVkffi,

Dob, CotDT, haveyoudone?

ISff, O! Hy Fatheragen.

Den. Come, aOw let us (ee you Dalnce. . .

|£^ Indeed, I atn not pcifed yet, jxayexcufe tne till the
next time my Nhflct comes : But when muft he come agen,
Father?

Don. Let me fee, Friend, you cnud needs come aftet Din-
ner iffo, and Oien at Night agpn, and b> three times to tnor-
rowtoo. If(behCD()t.nun*ydtomMrow(wbich^amtocon-
fidcc of ) (be will dance a Corant in twice or {hrice teadiing
mor^ will (he not ? Foe 'tis but a twelve-tnooth Gnce Ak came
from HkI^ School

Gtr. We win loTc no time, I warrant you, Sir, if flic be to
benairy'd to mcvrow.

Doii. Truly, Itlmik,fliemaybe marry'dtomotiow, there-
fbie I would not have youlofc any time, look you.

Gtr. You need not caution me 1 warrant youj Sir, fweet
Sdiolar, youi humUe Servaat, 1 will not fail you imtnediatcly
after Dinner.

Dn. No, no, pray do not, and I will not (aH to &tis6e
you very well, look you.

Hipp. He does DM doubt his reward, Father, for his patns,
IE you {hou'd not, I wcNt'd make that good to him<

Dm. Coax, let us go in to your Aunt, I mutt talk with
yoaioihic^edicr. Child. ' [Ew.Gcr.Don.

' ISfp. 1 ioUow you, Sir.

T5. ' ^ - ^..-..^,.iVi^

27? tht fienHmu Dmti*g-lf>pr.-

YOU, Mifhe&. / „ .:. ^ .

' HJpp. aie'sOTiK, Bif ftea« rt{K«»WfilgA«BO»
Songfc limfcWi right, liBWteiK^fpi'niS)** WD&

"°Miaain.>ticSfmilt»i*M«>''«lH*6>« »f theSoegrou
fong 1*, the Tietv So*g>e*^ ««P IntW' ' Sri la • 1«K tt

■*""• SINGS.:; .:

Since wt fmpvijh Women hmif
Oiir mtn m <^nn» jpw*^ Ai cbatftt

To him we l^t» w%j fay vft «•■'?
And hetb ear time mdLovir left.

frttbfti^n*drej)utfitt anBdilayi;

A lavt^i Affhtt we pill ;
And if toe hnjrtbt Gallant jlayit
■ Hii .fiemacl^igpTie far good Mid all.

hrOurimiatieiitamS-BUsGiiePi, '

Andrdiher'ihahfiayfor a FrUff, '
Take up with fame cearft rea^f i^tnU

IFben epportwiiiy is iinJy

l^t-prtufcatW^imaniefiteii- ■ .-

Ail4 V '*' Hf" ^* ^^ y^^^¥^ '
TfllitfeMjoiimiiilky ne'nltfiim,gO-

The Match jofn ofgJeis hap$y .ft^lf., ■

Far inly Love has there to do i
Let no 'Bse\ marry ^gti"^ ^ wiU^

But fiottd ojf, trbtn htr Fartnti »ae.
And only to tbiir Suits be coji,

Fer^ewbom y^ynturt tsHi^ldiih
To lit 4 Fop her Bed tnjay.

Is hut a laipful ff'tficbfor gtht.

FM. Yooi Father alls &» yM(Mift> . ifitfttithf Aim
Mm 1 came, I come. 1 niuA be obedient 29 brig as I am

^kaMriMwttmlteiianAi^jblittj\

itxeunt'.

ACT HI. SCENE I.

£«ir MaiSeu, HifmliB, W Prae.
jatfCtirrTT Sinim, h CniSllt your Maii ti^i mc
T> *e mkW a'Ae **■***» "f """"S' """"^
jRhiikavMwipialiitiilxtw bel«IB«;6nrFaa[i', it.

ftoBk

Mn^ Otca, Otca, I Iciw»f »«* iffib, ItietoteSfne
mt leotttioo 1<«t«*e •** Monfte eora-il b« ilM bt
c^K,; I wsainit'bewM'd corcoiAe;

fiis. Yd, T**> kffdidcoRia

i^/: Ha. IM, ha— — .aaAAfcKe'yfltanofiaSnlm'ent di-
nafoUi (i«A, <mM>^ „ . „

HM. 1 wasindteil, CooCii, I iMlwiJ wtB p«M'«.

«Ii<:idoiliili»li>. IA(l*ilttt<>eoHie«n«litJivtnifa
myfelfthismoniiiigwiththeSghtof HsMcepttai; biirI<M
Tm/iaxtmhAM^ oitinCoiapDy'at kceriw upn late
Icoo'i«orai»indoil»ll*ig> Mala-p* dt Putdm- -,

a*fc liid«oJ-i*mMeir8afce«eiBW«%, CouBn.

MM^'Fixlri yM nfaiwk; fetrladde beenHere, I
lli*iMfcfoctlieo«aIioiwiiiipCo«»iibGtrr»r/. .

Mm. lodetd^ CoHl'm t yoa need not have any fubiea Of
proem tamaleoiklaneb, you a» fo plea6i« yoot ftlf, and
ithen yoa aie botakme, you woo'd make oix bbift. , ,

Mm(. Amlfohippy, CMifin* then in the bon ^laliiy of
mating rwplelailth _ ™„

a8o T^ Qtitlkmw DduOKg-HflUr.

HiW.M«*«f hippy. CouGa. i i

Metff.. Dtgiice,. -,,-:,. .,: ■ . ! .■.■:],.

Mi-'f.Uiy^ &» v^vdc I obfefve whmibcV, I come, ]
make every body mciry, fam vaiwt i t, i i i ija

A'p^ I do liietieye ;ou da ■■'

Matif, Uij., as 1 maiche ^ de ftrect I cm make de dull
Apprcnty Uu^ and (aca.

Hiff. This Fool, I Tee, Is as apt as an ill Poet to mS^he
thccomcmpt and lb»n of people for applat^ and admtnrioti,

UfiJt.

Mmf. Ah, poofinvjOSi ist «nt it ii.to ^V{l)ffn in Rmety
befMe I vrcnt into ^r«iue I cou*d get no body to luigb at me,

wifcy. ,..■■--.■■.";

HJ»^No! tnityCourin,'IthinkfsudelaT*ditbdbir, but
you aiflmpiovM indeed by gQiie ioto .B-MA. •■"

M>af' Auv/t thcFnmcibEducaikMiinahewsiopicajairi
befidc, CPtWii yotiaiv^kQOWtopUytbtFooiistbc'S^cnce
In Fi'infBt,:a»d I didde ^ to the ilr«iMi Aeadenqr at Fari-
thrice a week to learn to play de Fod of Sigiuor ScMrgmomki
who is the owll excellent Peittm>Ke in ^ WwUfec datNcdde
Scien% A»gfl is a dam E»el^ Fool to -bin. .

Hifp, MeOiinks now >4vu u A Vcr^ fgdod Fool.

Mmf. Xauh, aauh, A'bl^i is a better Fotd, but indeed d»
j^/»'afe not Btto be Fools i hae aievcfJcw gdod.Foclls>
'IiscnK, you have nwijt^i.'youpgCavalki; who go ow In*
toFroHee to leant tobetheBuifooai^btuibc^ dM,deyietun
butmaiiv^BiifbcHi. Jwiw:. : .

Jfiff. I'm ftne, ^Coufiq, jfon bavcloftiio time HitK.

Moif ^aAK)ithivi!tStsftmmeht.

Htfp. Bat b it a Sd^ce in I^mh, GcuCb,? and is tbm
m Academy for Focdii^; fiuenoacgotoitbutjplaycn.
, M)«/: Dcy ate ComifKdiaai dat ate dcMatics, bat.aUthe
born moodc go to Iean^ .« tlieydo hoe ctjiwgel tnd Miu >
Ibcifyoudid go abroad. into Gottqnny, yba.wou'd find tb»
bcPabnoftofdcMatnacptuunginaH places tho LeObnswMcfa
do; ^TC IcanK of the Fodsi doeMuiesy N*iifad.tt»gtl.
. Biff. Indeed.' ....,'

Mmf' Y^ n.% dey are the Gcqs de quality tlut praAife
4st^icienGe.mo^ anjjbeiuiftambitieoai fi» Fmls and Baf •

fcons

*S3tt QeHtkmm^BsiKh^Mkfim . 28 x
feoiu have, \etrt ilways noA mkomc to CduitS} and <)eGr*(l'
in all CompuiMS. Auh tobe ik FogI, ik Bafoon, is ta be:
dc' great fenmig^ ,-'.>.

Hf^. foofe; fatTcFotodM,' tbtr (>y> iodnd,

A^. W«U, CougH (nettotMkefoupnnidJ.youiaKtbe
£^tcli Fool in Sngimd, I am fine. ■ .

41(M*r> Noa» non, deface, aoii>'<IANUf ilcGoiBmediatiisi
a ftefv/ m»n$ apnttyinaiiJbfc'a CommediaA, A* — ...— ..
J^M. You aic nwdcft , Coufu i but kail mf FathiZ'
fhoii'a come in piefcntl j Cwhidi he will do as focm as he knows
ypu anhae7 1 maft |^Te yaa a Castioil, which *tit fit yoa
(hou'd have htfau yoa fi:e Um.
Aim/: VdiivcU Coufis, nu-iidat?
Hi^ You muft know then (ascoromonVtbrcondulktnfif
aU mtnh ii iaO afta ( bad agooi while pleas*dnif ftif io jett-
ing and leading the poor Gentleman 70a Tent into a <F(»b Pa*.
noUe, and, almSft made himbeliev^lwouMgo away With fa!n),
my Eatiiei oxD^ home this amtan^ caankiMfttom, aai
cwight him srith me; . '

MaiT' MaU-oeae.

HiiM. AtKl dRw I^ Swocd npm him, aad'mou'd fantt
kUlM him > foe you know my Fathci^s Sfta^ fietceoelf and
ieatoufie. ' > ' "

l^fU^. Buthbwdidheoomcf^thea/ teftema.
. I^, la&ttft, lwisMntoi>inghim«ff^%**S^^**

iMIm/. rah, Iu,'ha, vcfgood }efle.

Hi^ I wsftu^wvilKt^ to havethe fioor naniHllM'yott
knowfbt out foolifh Fidick-wichhimi but then upon my
Aunts and Fatbcis liwaity, how Be came ip, and who frnt
bim; Iwasfwc'diolayyoadld, dcliriiqi,l(hoi^d.be aUe to
dana a Coram betoreour WcdditK*
- Mmf. A Tcr good Jefte d a t ■ ■ftai ]^e as bct-

tie.

• 'W^- I^ow all that lam to dcine of yoU} ij^ to own you
Tent him, that Imay not be cao^t in a lye.

Mw/t Yes, ycs» a TCt good Jelt, GtrrarJ, % Malhe de
panoe, hah, ha, ha.

fSff. Nay, thejreftislikctobebctteryetiformyFatbec

t. i;' : . ; . , ; ;' ; . . . - ■ -j - him-

faiafciriM oUi^ hfainMV uf OM mdHadiJhBi SblhM
novhc mv& iske tba Pmcuig-Miflei! inm lua, and^ooAt
three or four tioict to me bcfncour Wedding itftmif IMm
ifhcfliouMcottteaoincM, ftba'^farfof^idaialiMteHUn
a lye: and ffoc ought I know) if be fltddVI Inxhr « bat
gods be Wfienott Dmdii^Mifai:, in t^SfMfkOM^
Old PunAillinrsofHonoiichcftUBhtkiBiai% MtbtOlkamtVii
flrinof littHoneor ni FaDJlKr «faidi heniivofJbaMi^
NowyM^mowifasftaiaisftnailfadMBln ^vHtttt Ogk
poor JnnooeDt Dhi#tcii cfim ib, .aud htis ■■>» ibm « Am-
wit^d. ..■

Mm*^ Mbis Mill fearnotlnEt ':w>"*7<^ftidl«MCK
ofim as you will to the HDure» Md-ytHir FWhnr ltd futWf
know who he is iflt we uenmy^d » but then TX tdl fain iU
ftribejdbJahS'.

£Efp. BotWffi TOO krtpAifOmlel, lieu OroOi, dDwc

. Mmfl^poty-ifaxfoA,.lwituatAeef taon6^.

I tCffi iAm,mAmL\ffxAam I itidtcd, foryou woMnDt

luvcmeldlld : you love me too well fure^ to Ik M InAntQMBt

ofmydctfh'

fBan-OmCbp) jMOn^frMvIf,* £«/« gUekUhmd iim.

* ■- - '.'.; -■>. . '..CMr^'Caoiieii.

But heic comes iny Fatfao-j tenaeinbar.

AEm^. iJiwUsotaDut^binoNt. AewlwvuldtiHyoa
iC^l M fiDcm wfthtt Woich^ ^mey~^€^s jfaiM to be UtTd,
poor Wictdi, um) he's a apiicious iealous I^^noiigh to 4a?t,
MC here be comes. (.<^.

: riibeat)ArCamfcIE«nnaiiCthu,ny^»tN)lj<n» petit
Qmir. . ■ ■ •

ifiiff. FdKK, fiue^ ttyVadKt*8 fonnne 4ik w«y.

JHbM^ l,.jbtt^ Im insDrhliewn't befituenoi^ to Ihu
as this half hour, b«it ha,.iiik.' . .

him, ditd (bmggitig m his ^KklJeri ti/hi^ Moolicui w«M

DoA Is that thing ay Coi&i, StflcT?
' Ctiv. Tishe} Sb.
Pmi. Coulin, I am fony to Ice you« -
ittmji I»^ a Sprna^ Compkoieai >

1h GmlatuM BMciiig'Mdfier. s8}

pM. SltaiKb di^'dt CtMfin. - (JfiJt-

4^ bli! uUontitba, ventK?

Scrvitair, Semttur, a Moun&ui loon Oncl^ tnd I am ^ad

tofteywIiaewiiUtidan, iiidliS>fwiii^OiM^> ha, Ha, ha.

ButluKmU be lorry Ki%]K)via the ^Kcts, teftenon.

(TOtoaSt.?tfei3 woo*d|ou? baub

ftf#i/^ 1 U Duy W you wou*d be aOum'd your Icif, Mon-
fieiB mqa Ondc, of the g^t Tiun you wou'd get to wait
qpoa fotf Sfm^ Ho^ pih**—— the Boys, wou'd/ollpw-
you, ud hooc at you Cvcrf >B(1 bleuj pirdooc ai]i: f r^K^
Fian^ul^ MoniaacaoaOnck^

Jtev WcQnUhmipoctanpa, betwiyt tlfcfc two Contnr*
lies. (T <«g|W-» »f Pi«¥

Dtn- Do'ft dioo can me Moafeut Cvoto a Si j^^

Mmf. Ncldidnotcallyoti RAonlcut votoajSt. J«£«, Sir,
I know ywaieniy Uncle Mr^.^mMiFurixM/— — ^-da

P««. But 1 cu baldly know you ^aie my Cou0(:^ Mh/^j-
ffaaw/ fffrriil but call mcSii Dm Ditgo hence forward «
tookyou, u)d no Monfieur, callnicMonliemGiMr^«.

jdnif, Icov&ft my crnwr. Sir iitv none bit a Wind nun.
«oa*d call you Mooficur, ha, ha--^ — But pny do not call nut'
ncdapjTW, butdcPTw, 4* ?«"' (fivou pU^A) Moaliou
de Tarit ! Call me Mooliiwi tod welcome, da •*-—

Ifm, Mpnfiqinde FMitfAKtufhen voto-»-.^ ' f "r-

Mmf. Monban de F4llt<l^l»u ! a ^etty name^ a fvetty'
name, ma foy^ da — ; — farin trote de ftmslhont i how
much betic den your dc by Fcwasinttt dtl la Rivitreti A*

b£wiuv and ^ the Dii in JVawft— da welU

but have you not tbc atburation foi my PmitiUlaaij Dm J>(^
mcnOndc?

i>a». I am a0oidQi*d at thwn veide daamcntc, they an
wonderfully ridkutoiis.

Msnf. iUdicule, icdiculc ! ah-^*tiswelly«ivemy Un-

. cle, da' ■■ -Redicule> ha-— ^^isdcreanyt^glndeUn^

reiie to if nti as 4c Ptnt^hm i any tine fo tav)£uint as dc
TMttilooai i Auh ' ' ' ' 1 con'd kneel down aiKl varihip a
pail of ^ti PautallgeMti vat, Tat, you wou'd' have mc have
de admu^Kon for dis outwaid skin of your Thigh, whidi you
call S)'«>i/Ir Hole, lie, fie, fig—- .ha, ha, tu.

£$4 7bi GentUman iymeing''li/Lifitrl

2>m> Do'ft.thoudaidenir S'^m^H(rfc?rciung';!^tnihaidi.
. J^mf. Ii) comparifon of Vamalloon I do andnvalae *mi htr
d«d, I>off.PK£»ernonGnde, ha, ha, ha. >

' "Dob. Thodait thm agxyanhodcmaloguno, locrifyoii.

Manf. Yoa (ftay call mcMt you vill, Oncic Din, Diepu ;
but 1 ftiiifl neeJi fiy, your ^jr^ Hofc we fcuw y ■Hde, i^y .
Hofi;, looGcHofc, andflinftSnigHofc. -■■'''-
'■Don, Doholpronrfteme, Serueie.' ■ (fMtttifBmJtSiit
: ■■'■■■*■' •■■-' '■"fi$i»w</,

^ Men/. Indect for louHe I rccsnt dat Epitfaetc^for- dnt is
ftaTceio6[ti Hi Vm&r dat litiTe Animal, ha, tia^ ha: ^ Baxfot
Ainl(in^Ho{c, dat Epithctcimyfiand; for howandeydiide
bat flink, tnce dey are fo foifeuftnenw dole to yoiir Spsmfi

i/i/y. Ha, hi, rfdicuIoA.;.'. (Jfitt.

' i>Mk Donotbtovc^mc/ |[fa(]f, ^n^tramtla.

7. ' {SttmttoJrnr.

' Manf. May, OticTcj I iih forty you ttt in dc iwiton \ but
I nma live and dye for de PsHtMlhea ag^iA de Sfmn^' Ho^,
da. ■ . .

•'~''^OT. You are a nCh young Man, and wMIc yoa wear Pur
^Doohs, you are Beneath liiy paffion, voto>— t-rAidi— #-they
make tbce look and waddle f with siil rix^ geW'gaw fUbbonsj
like a gritat old Fat, fbvniljr'Watci-dog.

Mmf And yoiir ^««^'Rc^, ftnd yourffofe in die Air,
hialie you looit Kke t gteic griffcd ' Xan^-h^ Orey-hound,
ttschingaCmttofffromahlghSfte'H^ftf, W^-'
' Dan, Bueno, Eueno. ' "' '

' Mrt. Camt. What have yoa a mind to tiiinc yto feHj and
feicab of the Match ? - -^ • ■' '

Mn, E^w-.-V->.niatdoyautd]iiieofthcMatdw> dee
Hnke I will not vindicate PanttHooiw, Morbleu?- '

!pm. Well.' he if a loA young Man, iTec, anddefperatctf
ftr gone in the Epideroick Malady of our Nation, the ifliE6a*
tton di the wotA of Frmh Vaftities : but I muft heivHec thA
tuo), as I am ii Sftntni kx>k you Don Ditga, and chdcavOat
to reclaim him by Att and fair means {look yoi^ ^Den Ditgf)
if not, he fhal) never m^rry my Daughter look yoD, Dm Dieg'i
Wioi^b he be my own Sifter's Son, andlias two thouland tftt
hui^rcd feventy three pouudsSterlinK'iwclreShiHingsvid twtf

peace a year PcnnyicnttScganmcQte. (^^£/(. Come Young-
man, Once you aic lb obQinate, we will refer out diffeteiice to
Aibitratioii, youi Miflrefa my Daughtei QiiU be Cmpiie betwixt
u^ concerning Svmi^ Hole and Pxotallqons.

3/«n/. Puit^leons vaA Sfmi^ Hofc (fi vot» fdaift^ '
Dpi*. Yom Milbds is the nttdt Judge of )rouiDiefi,{uit?
Moi^, I know vcr vel, ctat motlof the JcunelTc d'En^/nhf
wtU noc clia^ the Ribband upon dc Cievat widoui the

ctvifijltation ofdae MatRfs, buti am no,^i*^wdz noc

flvdl I malte ^aSetaxx of myDids to aiiy in the Univetle, da
■ !' 1 judge by any bE«g/<Wh/> leflenon. Iwou*dnoG

be judge by any ^n^fft Looklng-^afe, Jamie.
Don. Be not poGtivo, Young-man,
MruCsm, Nay, payte&rit, GouGn} ptayda
ASfftf, Non»noiiiyourScnrant, your Servant, Aunt.
' Dm. Butmybet)otfopofiiiTe> come hither, Oaughtet^tcH
ine which is Dcft.

ISff.- Indeed, Fadicr, you have kept mc in uEmr&l igoo-
lance^ I know nothing.

Mmft anddoyoutbk I (hall refer an Afbir of dlatcoa&-
quclKctoap0OIyoung ting whohavcnot (ceo theVarU, da,
laniwUcr tbanfo, voto?

"Dm. WeD, infliort,if you will not be wiicf, and leave off
your Rtnth Drefs, Summering and Tticks> took you, you flull
be a Fool and go without Dau^ht^, -Toto.

Mmf. How, mud 1 leave off my Jantee Firm^ Acoouflie-
inents, and fpeak bafc Ei^Ut too, Qt not marry my CouOii \
nun Onclc Von Di^o ? Do not break off the Match ^ do not i
for know I will not leave off my Pantalkxm and Freneb Prcuun-
ttation for ncV a Couiin in EMg^MA\ da.

X)«*> i tril you again, he that marry*s my Daughter {ball-at
leaftlofAlikeawifcMan, forhe Oull wear thej'^Mf/bH^tt,
I un a Sfmn^ Po&ivo. . - '

AUnf. Vervcl, vervcl/ and I am a fVnvi poGtivo.
Don, ThenIamDcfiai(ivo?and ifyoudonotgoimtDe^
atdy into you Chamber, and f»t on a Sft^ Haul, 1 haw
brought over on Purpde fin your Wedding Ckaths^ and puc .
c^aUthcfi Frtneh Fopperies and Vanidades, with lU your
Giimaccs, ApccaUes, adorabla, tnay Foys, ant) Janucs. I
fwcat you (ball nnrct marry my Daughter (uxl by aaOadt fqr

oS6 Tie GetabmmDMehig'Mtfier,

Sfmsri never broken ) bjr m^ WMskets and Smff-fcoib

Monf. O hdid, do not fwc«. Unde, for I lore joa Dmi^
tn furleufincntt

Dm. If fouloveherroa'Qdbcynie.

ylonf. Aidi, wat will becDme o( rk ! but ntve die ajiifil^

mien, mufl I kare off ^ the .ThiwABeautes, Otaces, aod

EafbdlifiMn^ botcdfrnyRcrfonandUoguage. ' (AgoHtf,

(Htfy, Mrs. Cwition, ind ftueAiig feg .

£>«». ItpHl havclt fbt

Mm^ 1 am tninne den ilndonnei Inn fb|iw asitfidEntjaii
ntt fiK, fer acfc is not nic leift Ribbon of ny uuyfiliMj bat
is as deal to ntt is your Dauditer, jan d c*^ "

Cm, ThcnyDudono(deKn«Iwr,andfetttMreBfeK}friD
be&ti^'dfialovtbet betWT, orycalidltfothne-toy fetl
araPoHtita

M<. VllybabraktiincArte/ ^h)*rd«€(fnBfauni
for IDC

Vm Ffiyageti, youfiianbedKft^dbefcteid^fonTcp
to Toe in the Sfm^ Habit, or yon ilnH ixv^ niRT i^
Dli^Her, loofc yoD.

M«^ lfyoawitlnochivedect»fidentknfetme, htWde
• oxifldaation for your Daughter-, for fbi have de ft^RaaUlt
Amour fermc, and like me in db HdMte betrt den h yotos,
da -'■■-.,

iXw. What I bave &M1 fnve Aid, and I Mb onoBiGtittf.

/Ar^ W8iyou not (b mocQi as dlowmconelin)e AwkA
Oito? ,

Am. No, ym flnH looke Dkea d^«iriWtotfpcdE and

- hrcar IHie an ^ghfh man, kx:^ yout

Menf., Hclas, htlai, den I (htH tidce my kaf«, rBorCi uAt
venirr, |a(nic,teftc-bleu, TentreUcu, mafoy,«rtesl

Don. ftirij Sanebttt Vnhiifion this <^Va)ieto hrte Us
Chimber with .tholethings I ordered you to t^ka oat of the
Tiunk«, I wou*d have you a Knie accaflomR) to yoar Cloatbl
before yoiir Wedding i for. if yoB comedy \*!lfi rae, you fliall

- marry my Du^htct to tfioriow, took you. ( CoHt at tU Bur*
-' JI4b/:AdkttdKn,flcarP8nulIoon.'deaiBeltc.' AarSwDidt
, dear Perrqefuc .' and dear Onppeyvx , Rctroafea, and dcat

^ Shoe, Jamie: afTicti, adieu, vSm, hclas^ beEn, hclf^ wBI yoa I
niTcyet rtCtpKy^ '

7U Qmlmm DMmH-^Xsfitr: %8?

Am I a«i a 5^M*|t PoSthoi looh you.
3^«4f: And nOK ciuri ifaan de 5;wr(|l InqptStieoo, t» vQBr
pd a Man to a Habit againft hisCoiifciaicc, bcln, behs, hi^

Sanr Rite «W GtnauL
FhK, HoeistlKDaiicingMaAer,ftiaUIcallaiyMUhes,Sirf

j>cis.Ya. Oyouareaspuodual aszSfamar4:l\oKjoak
BonAual Ma>t my 1 thbth di bpforc youc tiinc JHiidhk^

&n Na^ I^ttfdbhr'dinoaiDMKhBeEiSfar, flnUbfrm
ctocbyaiy^tilt*

Z>Mt. So lb, *tis wen.

Gfr. li«q«!siMrf oawoidviiUnjiflfitQuUMi'fakpanau-
al wiAher, Sir.

ih«^ ^a^Kdifaeoiay, vny hoaefily, Fdendvttdlbei-
lieie ■ wf hOaoftjoaa, ihcMcb sDaotswHnifltt^

Om. IinwcyC^ymtl^aKlbk %, '

2>iHK. What youaiebuta Youag-mai^ sk fan imn]iM
]«#

aet. K^Stf,faitIlttpBiaiIl»Sir,vci]rfiiddcBlrif tbtngB
hkfllgibtt

Z>M. Whattfae^FellnhnFriandbaronNcv, andcaDnoc
■pM «rii 'ponfii fan as dM Dauflkter on ?

Gcr. Yes, Sr, the Father hindas k a little at w&nt i bat
AcDaugbteti bbpe iricfclv'd, and dm ^wt &all do^vclt

ZW What you do not And bn, toowdbs <a the laudabk
Cnfiom of fbtK of yotu BBothor-^Oaticin^iwfiaa ?

Ctr. Hoi r^Sitt&dihit, Siit (teal her, yottne fi^'d to
betaenofit £»» iw, hi,hB»» - .. ■■.ifDBPt but bugh ^ that
qocftioD. (-4^'

Dm NoiSbiix^ii&s yniarefikE'd ti>h><»ny) but
you liyAi Fadndgesnot' ccnftac

<7«r. Naciin,Siri4Na*tviUbeeon»t«truhcl:berbedocs
Of no.

£>M. WafliheoneorynutScbofars? tfflK«cn,^s« hun-
dred to ten butyou Iteal hei. t

GcTL I Stall not be aye to bold kigbing. (Mie^ Ungbt.

Dw. Nay,Bay, I find bf yow laug^g youfeal her.flie
nw your Schob^ WIS Ac not ?

Ctr*

ft88 Tiie.<SimtUm4til3Mel0i-M£jleifl

Gtr. Yes, Sit, (he wudie firil I nerhid, and mar be diC
bit too i for.fbe bas a Formpe (if I cati get bee) nfU keep me
6001 reacUiK'to dance any inore.
. T>«a. So^io, thenOieisyouiSdiohr fiill it&ems, and Hie
has a good Poitibn, I im f)]ad on*tj nay, I knew yon fide
her. ■-' ■■-"■' '.i ■

Ger. My hogliine may give hjm fufpidons, yet I catmoC

hold. - . r-45^

Pm. Wuk, you bugh I warrant to tHbk hon^ ^ T°oi)i
Bi^^^aodyoawill mamp che pooitoU Fafliei i EiK if w
herdcfwndantt for a Fortune be npofi die Faihcr, he iiiaydiaiw
to mump you both, andfpoathcjeft. '

Oir. lliDpe'itn9UnotDeinhUpowerjSirrIiaiha,hu

I OuBbughtoomuch anon. iA^i^.

Piay, Sir, be pkat'd to call 'fix your Dai^ter, I am hnpadent
till Ifae como-) for tbncwas never moKpicdoaiwitb me and
with her too. It cB^t to be fb, fiire, £uiceycala/(heis tobe
mairy d to nonow*

X)v». She ought to bcftir her, ts you lay mdeed, wnl(
Daughter/ Dau^ter, Fnw, l^potita: Ctme awif , ChiU,
why do yoH ftay fo lorig? (CaSt at the JUeti

Umtr Hippdita, Proe, and Caution.

HiM. You ScknnC MaAct! faideedlamaSan'dyoitbaTe
Aay'crnvme.

Gir. Ogood Madam, tismy Duty, I kndw yagcameai
Ibcn as you cou'd.

- tSff. IkiKw my FaihctwBs with you> dierefete I did not
makealuwedKribinudibalteasIinghti butif youhadbctA
alone^ nothing Iboa'd have kept me &om you, I wou'd not
have been £) rude astohlMBwde yoaft^i nufuitc fix hk^
1 wanant you.

Don. Gome jidlcj fiidle, what a de«l of Ctxeataof dun
b betwixt your Dandng-mafter and you, <^emo ^

ISff. Lord, Sir, I Iwpe you'll allow me to Ibew ray >dpcA
to my MaAcr, for I tuve a great lefpeA for my MaOcr.

Gir. And I am very proodof toy Sdidar, and toi imj
ffOt Honoum of my Sdiobr.

Dot. Come, come^ FrieAl, about your bus'nefi, and ho*
nour the Kmg. Y(nu Dandog-maflen and BaAers aiefixh fi-
nical fmooth-tongu'd, tuling Fdlowf, -aadtfyoufct'£n}ofn

'S^A^mtimMM DMcingrMafier: '1S9

a talking ; they'll ne'er a dofK^ q0 nK4« than Mitii you 1m
'cm a tidling : Indeed all ih^: cM.niltb ^lek.aK given to im-
portinency. (To Atrn Caution,

Cant, yi^: vfiU* tha i& vtvpfmmat P^Uow, withoac
being a Dancing-mafler : He is no more a Dancing-nuOer tben
lama Maid.

Aw. VAat i wU you SvU be wiTcr than I ? voto.
Come, come about with my Paughrcr, Man

Prae. Sohewou'd, Iwanant yoii> if yl»«W<»;niip wou'd
. let him alone.

Vm. ifiuy ww Mia.:NipUe-CIiaps?

Ger. Well,though 1 have got a little Citing at the Dancing-'
School (ince I was here, y«til do aU fb buiiglin^y, hell difco-

Hiff. Tiy, odme take my hand Matler.
Gf «f. look yoHi pumbet, (he impudeiH Huletcy gives faim
her hand.

2?iR^ Gail he dance «4i}»hec mibput hctitng hetby the
hand i

tUfft^ Hnw^tajEemfrhiand. MaOet.

Ger, I wiQi it weiefbi good and alL (^A^tahtf,

yiff- Vpii Danoog-nnflns arc aWays fb lufty, (o nimble

An. Veto at Sti ^<i> not that I can Ice, about with Hctk
Man.

Gm. IrnktcL, Sir, I camtot about with her as I nouM do^
unlcrs you.wjUl pk«le to.go out » little, Sir > for I (ee the is balh-
ful mil before you, Sir.

£)|o'tJ Hqi,hq^iiK»efoc^igT<ti oaax^ ccnne, about, ^bout
with her.

Hipfu tiiy, indeed, FKtber> lamalham'd and cannot help It

Dant Ehtt you QuU help it, for I will not ftii : move her, I
&y begin Huhic, more when he'll have you.

PW€* I caniiot but laugh at that, ha, ha, ha. (4fi^-

Ger, Come thrn, Madam , fince it muft be lb let us try, but
I flialldiliiPTCc all. One, two, and Coufxc (afiart to HippV

Cmt. Nay de' fee how he fqueezes iiffc hand, Brother, Q
tbttewlViltaini

Dm. Come, move, I fay, and rtundha ncit.
Gv, One, two, thiee,four, and nun round.
Cm* Dc'foe again ktck^ ha by the bate Ann.

3^ The QeniUmm DMdtf^.Hifier'.

Don. Come move on, (he's mad.

Ger. One, two, and a Coupee.

Ben. Come, one, two, turn out your Toes.

C*ut. There, ihne, he pioch'd ha by the Thigli, wiU yoi
fuifet it ?

Ger. One, two, three, and (an back.

Don. Fallback, fill back, back, fome of you aiefoiwaide-
noug^ to back.

Gtr. Backj MadztiL

Den. Fall back when he bids you, Httflit „ « „

C«»f. How! how! fallback, bllback, marry, but (be Dan
not Mback when he Eudsher.

Don. I fay (he (hall, Hufwifr, cotne.

Gtr. Sfie will, (be will. I warrant you. Sir, if you WDotbcan-,
gry with her.

CoHt. Doyoa know what he means bythatnow, youa
SpOfiiard.

Don. How's that I not Sfommd ? fay fuch a word agun .'

Gtr. Come few ward. Madam, th«e fteps agen.

Caut. See, fee, (he f^icezcs his hand now, O the dduudi'd
Hariofiy .'

Don. So, fo, imod her not, (he moves feirward pretty wrfl ;
but you muft move as well backward, as forward ox yoall ne*
vcrdoany thing topurpofc.

Cant. Do you know what you fay. Brother, your fiV nowf
arc you at your beatllinefs before your young Elau^tei f

Fth. Ha, ha, ha.

Dm. How now, Milfads, arc you fo merry ? is this your
ftaid Maid as you call bet. Siller Impertinent i

Gtr. I have not much to (ay to you, Mi(s i but I (ball not
have an opportunity to do it, unlcfs we can £et youi Fatba
out.

(AfJetoBp,

Den. Come about agen with htr.

Caut. Look you.thcre (he fqueezcs hb hand hard agen.

Hipp. Indeed aiid ihdeed, Fathu, my Aunt puts me qmte
out, 1 cannot dance while (he looks on for my heart. Hie irakcs
we alham*4 and afraid te^ethcr.

Gtr. Indeed if you wou'd plcafe to take hci out. Sir % lam

fure, I (hou'd make my'Scholat do better, than when you ne

^^ pTc(cnt,

TheOmtUman Daaciag-Mafier. 191

|)Kniht, Sir, pray Sir, be pkafed foi this time to take her
away t for the next time, I hope I fiiall oidci it fo, we (hall
trouble ndtber of you.

Cma, No, no, Brother, ffir not, they have 1 oiind to be
left abne. OHne there's a bcaflly Trick in't i he's no Dancing-
nailer 1 tcU you.

Ger. Danm'djade^ (he'll difcoverus* (^^'toHipp^

Don. What will you teach me ? my then I will go out, atid
you null go oat too, look you.

C^M. I will not go ou^ look yoU.

Dan* Come, come, thou art a ccnfoiious wldted Woman,
itai you (ball difturb them no longer.

Camt. What will you bawd ibr your Daughter ?

£>0n* Ay, ay> come go out, out, out.

Cauti I will not go out, I will not go out, my Conrcience
will not fufier me, for 1 know by cxpefieticc what will follow.

Ger. I warrant you. Sir, we'll tnake good u& cfma time
when you are gone.

CsMt* Do you hear him again, don't you know what he
means ! (Ex. Don tbmping Caution out,

Hifp. Tis very well i you are z tine Gentleman to abufe
tny poor Father fo.

Ger, 'Tis but by your Example, W&.

Hipp* Well 1 am his Daughter, and may make the bolder
with hmi, I hope.

Gtr. And 1 am his Son-in-law, that (hall be ; ind there-
fore may daimmj IViviledge too of makbg bold with him, I
h(^.

Hifp. Methinks you (hou'd be contented in njakilig bold
with nis Daughter 1 for you have made vay bold widi her,
lure.

Gtr. I hope 1 (hall make bolder with het yet.
tfipp. I oD not doubt your confidence, for you dre a Dan*
ing-niwer.

Ger. Why, Mifs ! 1 hope you wou'd not have tne a (ine
fcnfeld^ Whining modeR Lover i for modcOy in a Man b as ill
as the want of it in a Woman.

Hipp. I thank you for that. Sir, n6w you have made bold

with me indeed -, but if I am fuch a confident Piece, I am fuie

you made mc fo » if you had not had the confidence to come b

U 1 f

392 The Gentlm«^Pwmg-i^M'-

Map : I am fitf c.I -cp^i d.qot loflk i^pon^ jWjid \MiV^

Gtr. But ihatlhumblyc6nceivc,rw«tlk:y% '^\r^ yq^\r JF#.
ther^Mlt, Uc^ufe^Duha^ qqt,a,{y}an.to,lQ«^ ^^n^^t^dj^reA
^ifs, I do pQt, think joti cpnijdeiit, yoji ,^G ^^ in^qcfitt >
for that which wouM be called confidence, nay Ui:)pi^i;pcp~^^
Womnti of years, isc^l[cd,JDiiqcqKfiinj?TF9'':XW'f64iV^
the mopc.impml^nt youflti^pw^, ^hf.pforcilflpqo^v yPJ* ,aic
thought.

Hifp- Say you fo ! has Xoi^tb jCat^ ,^'i^ff^ I (Jo liot
wond« thni, mpft Women ftcjp ioiipudent, .pn^p it ,is.^9 be
thought younger thin they,^ |ic 4=p8».; -hwt(Itl<i*Sd> M?!^
you are as gKat,sn,E«:om^?rqf in^py^j^cp l^pc, as tf-you
were a Dancing-mancr, in gppd-c^i^ne^

Gir. Yes, ^s, a si)nag;ttiip£ tna^.do^iW^I^i^ fD^ kap
out of the Vyiufioiv, iind£p^]flray.w;h V' t^Hlcjoij-fjitferj i^
fhc pleafc.

Hrpy. So, fo,thcUfefo]Iows thcDo^nc,v^JuJid?^Iy.

G*r. \VcI!, DcMqft, |Pr|iylft,us,nuJ« thcplf: VBC^pa^M it|
left your Father iQiou't^ ,(;ti^[fe.t^'3|^'c^ witn us and come in bo^
fore we ^vpii'^ have hi[ii,

Hifp. Indeed old Relitions are apt to take (l^t JILilmd.fiiW'
domof prcffingintoyoniig Gflljiyijay at,»mfcffc(Ml^fOQHK.

■Ger. Goftfc, dev Mi^t kVo^e tellyoti bo^w I;h^y/e ^|(£ep'd
matters i lor in talking of any thing cUe we \ak tvnc-SQaxip-
poitupity : P^le ainoiA indeed f^j tlie ^^ift iVQaKn are
the worn in the Wqild initfji^gao Qpj»Uunity, 4h^ U^ tinle
tattle and Ceremony.

Iftpf. *Tis Ijecaofc I watnint oppoitiin^ies axe not £> fiaroc
hcic as abroad, they have more here than ihey can ufe i but
let people abroad iay what they wilt of Engli^ WomcD, be-
caufeihey do not know 'era, but what lay people at^QDj^P

Gp^. Pietty Innoce^\t, ha, Jij^, ,tu. Wt^l % XW wiD
not make u(e of your opportunity.

Hipf. Iiiyryouha«tioicafQn,tof^fo,]fefc

Ger. Well, thpi anon at nine of t&c Clock at nlgbt ITl^ry
you 't for I have already belpoke a Farfm, and ha,ve ta)[CP up
the three back Roc^ of the Tavern, whifh fttmt upon the
Gallery window,, that qo body oiay (ce us dcapc, and I bare
•ppolat^ ^fiecifely betwixt eight andi^c of the Clock

when

i»te« ie W-Aflt) a<!:dadririd'Six, tbWalt at thtTavcin-
door fbr qr-

i*^. * <!3oai*i'aHtl- S'iii a Coach an*' Six, do you fay >
nay men I fee you are refalT'd to carry me away i for a Coach
and Six, though' there wert nota'Sfen bat the CkiiCh-man
with' ih' wWiy (sttry a^vay anr ydnng Girl of my tot in En-

Ger, Then you will be fure to be ready to gb widi irtc,

flft^. WHa^yOu^ig Wortian of the Town cou'd ev« fay no
«( ^ Ci»A aft'd^Six, unlcfs if were going into the Country : a
Coach and Six, 'tis not in the power of fourtceti yeats old to
rtfiffiti

Get. Tod wiUbcfurttobd'rcady?

l^ff. YoUateftire'tisa'Coachand-Six?

Get. I ^innt you, Mt&.

Hi^. \ wartartt you then they'll carry us mcirily away :
A Coachand Six?

Gtr But have you chahnM year Coafin the AfiOT/«i(r" (as
you- fatdyou Wou'd;^ that he in the' mean time fay nothing to
(«cvtnt lis ?

Hm. ; I wanant you.
&a^ ta 'em Don Diego anJ Mru Caution frtj^ag in.

6Atr. 1 will come in.

ZJiW Well, I hope by this time you have ^«n het fill! in-
flrtiftions, you havtf told her what and how to do, you have
doiKalt.

Gtr. We have juft done indeed. Sir,

Siff. Ay, Sit, we have juft done. Sir;

Caut, And I fear jufl undone, Sir.

Ger. Dp' heatthat damn'd Witch. (^^ tdliipp.

Don. Come leave your ccnforious prating, tbeu haft been a'
61fe right Woman thy fclf in thy Youth, I wanant you.

Caut. I right ! I right I fcom your words, I'd have you to
know, and 'tis wtU' known. I right ! no 'tis' your "da'ujiy
Mini, that Jillflirt your Daughter here that is right, do you
fee how her Handkerchief is ruffled, and what a heat (he'sin?

Daa. She has been danchig.

Caut. Ay* ay, Adam ana E-re's Danc^ ot the beginning
of the WoiM, A? fee how Qic pahts ?

Vm, She has not been us'd to motkm.

U 3 Caut,

294 ^' GemUmm DAneing-Mtfitr.

Com, Motion, motion, motion de' call it i no indcfd,! kept
her from motion till now, motion with ^ vengeance.

Dan. You put tlic pon bzQiful Oiil to the bluQi, you (cc,
bold youi peace.

Caitt. *Tis her guilt, not her modcfty, many.

Dan. Come, come, mind hei not, CbQd, omuc. Mailer,
let itie fee her danct now the whole Daocc roundly togetba:,
cotnc Cng to tier.

Gir. Faith, we {hall be di(covaed alter all, you know I
cannot fing a Note, Mils. ^ (.A^ to [fii^

Dm. Conic, Come, Man^

hifp. Indeed, Fathn, my Malla's in hafte nov, pny Icf
it alone tilt anon at night, w\.m you (ay he is to coax g^n,
and thtn you (hall fee me dance it to the Violin^ (vay (lay till
then, Father.

Don, I will not be put off (b, come begin.

Hiff. Pray, Father. '

Dm. Come, ling to her, come begin.

Ger. Piay, Sir, cxcufe me till anon, I am in ftane ba(te.

Don. I fay begin, I will not (xcufe you, come 'rake ha bj;
the hand, and about with her.

Csm. I fay he (bait not take her by the hand, he (ball londi

her no more \ while I am Hac there (halt be no more fquccCng

and tickling her palmj good Mr. Dandng-mafter, Aand off.

(Jhrufii Get. avMv.

Dm. Get you out. Mis. Imftrtintnci, take hci by tbehaoo,
I (ay.

Cant. Standoff, I by, helballnottoudiber,hehastoQch'd
her too much already.'

Don. (f patience were not n Spmii^ Vcituc, I wou'd lay it
afide now, I (ay let 'em dance.
' CaMt. I fay (bey (hall not dance.

Hiff. Pray, Father, Gncc you iee my jaunts obfUnacjr, kt
us alone till anob, when you may keep her out.
' Don. Well then. Friend, do not failfi&come.

fli>f. Nay, ifhe fail meat laft., C

Dm. Be Jure you come, for (he's to be rmnj'd to marrow,
do you know it ?

Gtr. Yes, yes. Sir, fwect Scholar, your humble Servant,

tUl night, and think in the mean timeof ihcQilirudioasI

• ,^ "have

The GentlemM Danitig-Mafier. 295-

iHK^venyou, that you may be the teadier when I come.

j)ga. 1, Gill* bertaeyoiido, an) do you be furc co come:

Cma. You need not be fo conccm'd, he'll be fute to come*
1 warrant you « but if I couM help it, he fhou'd ncvet fet foot
agenindieHouie.

Dm. You woii'd frighten die pom Dandng-Maftci from the
Houft \ but be fuie you come foi all ber.

G#r. Yes, Sir.
But dus Jade wQl pay me when I am gone. {A(idt.

Csm. Hold, hold> Sir, I muft kt you out, and I wifli I
cou'd keep you out. He a Daoqng-mafter, he's a Chouce, a
Cheat} amceiCheat, and that you II find.

Don. I iind any Man a Cheat ! I cheated by any Man! I
torn your words, I that have fo much Spmipi Care, Citcuih-
fpedion, and Fnidcnce, cheated by a Man : Do you think 1
who have been in Sfsin, look you, and hare kept up my
Daughta a twdTC-roonttv fos fcv (^ being cheated of ber,
look you ? I cheated ofhei !

Cmit. WeB, &y no nunc. (Exiim Den, Hipp. Caut.

CWPnK.

GiTt Well, old FormaUty, if you had not kept up your
Dan^ter, I .am fine I had never dwated you of her. {,Afidet

The wary Fedis bj bit Cart hitraj^d
AsCmcMdsij/tlmrJtsioii^^ir«made. (Ex.

ACT W. SCENE I.

Entir MooCeur de Partis without a PemupUj with » Spanilb
Ha, « Spanini P(w^^, Stockjnt^ aniSbotu^ hut infanttt'
Imuj a Wsfit-Belt, mid » S[4ni(h Di^tr it!t^ dud a
CtivM ahoHt bit Nuke

En ter Kppolita Ah/ Prue hhitid Isuebitig,
AiMjf. nplO Iw wat a Fool Love do make c* one, Ji

amie.

Alt do mciamorphofe de brave Man in dc Beaft,
Animal
mpf. Ha, ha, ha.

U 4 - ,//*»/.

Aimf* Nay, you ituy )ai%h, 'ds ver v«li 'I am b«catiie «s
lidiculc for you as can i«> mort-Ww. I ■bif e d«forni my ^If
into a ugiy SfaKtard.

mpf. Why, do'youc3llthis^rgw(ing:youlr fetfbiKa.^x-
ffiijr/whilc you weai Pftntalloons ftill, and cheCnE^4&

Meuf. But is bei!e ncft tfacttoiiblc Ooubk^ ^sii^S.fmiJh
Digger aufly.

Hipp. But 'tis as long as the French 5word, «nd 'Wom^c
it Butwhcre's yoiu5pMifb£eard, tbcibuig-ef taeS »iA-
quence ?

Mmf. ]arilie, doyoutink Befrdsaicas nfie tobe baits in
it Play-houfcs, non j but if here be np tbe <igly Vm^ Sfsit^
Ecaid, here arc, I am certain, the ugly hsi^.^^^ tit.

Hipp. Thjt's veiy true, ha, b», ha«

Mtmf Aub dc ingrate! dat de WorQ»ii^ tvheM wegnot
men aieyoui Gallants, you laugh at uB^oor lelvdS, «iU wtH
weaie your Husband, you make«ll-the Weild iav^atui,
Jamie. Love, darn Love, it tnakes. the tnan-moie tidkuk^ thaa
Poverty, Poetry, or a new Title of ^pnour, Janic.
Enter Don Diego, «W Caution.

Don. 'What at yow Jamjes MU veto. ,

Monf. Why, Oncl(^ -youaieat your TotoVflill

Dfl». Niy, I'll allow you to be at your voto's too, but not
to make the incoi^uous Match of .f}MH^ Doufatat and Frtntb
Pantalloons. (HaUing bit Hat Infwt ^ TaiittUtMs.

Moaf, Nay, pray dear Oncle, let me unite FrMct and
Sfam, 'tis the Mode of iT«»« now, Jarm'e, voto.

Den. Well, I (tt I muft pronounce, I told you, if you wac
not dreft in the Sfam^ Habit toN^ht, you flKm'd not mai-
ly my Daughter to monow, look you*

Monf. Well, am Inot habilice in de ^«»(/fc Habit, mj
Utmblef, Ear, and Hat, Leg, and Feet arc Spaailht that
dcyare.

Pen. I told you I was a Spati^ Pofitivo, veto.
[ Monf. Will you not fpare my Pantallooii (bcgir) I will
give you one little iioget to excufc my Fantalloon, da

Dm. I have faid, look. you. - •

Mmf. Auh Chere Pantalloons, (peak for my PaataUoons,

Coufin, my poor Pantalloons are as dear to me as de Sc«f ff to

de Countiee Capitane, or de new made Officer i thCKforehave

^;:-. decom-

Ac compalEon fot my Ptntanbonst Pm J^n^oj nt6n Oncle,
hclM, he]m, btlbs. {Kntili u Don.

Om. IhrnHii lonkiQv., your Oirfs fBilft be Sfm^t
and your Language Engfip^ I am uno Potitiva

Miili^ Arid niuft (peAhik^fiod Englifi too, ah la pi(fee,
belaf.

Dos. It ntft be doite, ud [ tcill Ice thb great change e'cc
it be dark, voto — "^ ywkt ti^ is not lotag. Itek to't, looK
you.

^Mw/'. Hdast helasj liekt, dat ^^a»^ (bott'cl ctxiqaer la
FfMce in EngiW, helas, hclas,helas. (Exif-Monlicar.

Dm. Youiac What piim I take to inUcc tum Aii more agree-
able ft) you, iDabghtcr.

Hff . Bat indeed, and indted. Father, you waQi the Blach-
a-tneic "whitCt in vRdeatouring to make a SMnisrd of a Mm-
fimr^ nay on 'Sx^i^ Afmfiatr toO, conftder tbat» Fdchcr ;
fat when once tb^ have taken the Frtrnk plic (as they call it)
they arc never to be made fb mudi as Sugii(h men agaln^ I
bavc heard iky,

'Don, What, I Wattant. you are like the rcA of the young
filly Bagg^i^of EftgUutJ^ that like nothing but what is Frtntb.
You wou d not have him icfotm'd, you wou'd have a iMm-
fitur to your Husband, wOu'd you, Quemo i

mpf. No indeed, Father, I wou'd not ha'K a M>n/itur td
my Hucb»id, not I indccdj and I am fiitt you'll ncrer mahB
tny .Courm othci wife.
Dm. I warrant you.

Hipp. Youcan% you can't, indeed. Father: And'youhavc
fwom, you know, he fhall never have me, if hedoesnottcave
offhts Monfieurfhip. Now as I told you,' 'tis is hard fbi him
to ceaTc being a M«»/imrt as 'lis for you to break a Sfan^ Oath«
To that I am not in any great dang^ of having a Aimftair to
my Husband,

X>M. Welli butyoafiiallhavc him for your Huiband, look
you.

Hifp. Then you will I»eak your Spmi^ Oath-
Don. No, I will break him of his French Tricks, and you
(hall have him tor your Husband, Qucmo.

Hipp. Indeed and indeed. Father, 1 Ihall not have him.

Doth Indeed you Qialli Daughter.

,...->■■ ■ ffifp.

spS the GentUnu» DMong-Mtfierl

Hifp. Well, rou (hall fce> Fathei.

Cant. No i wanant you, fbcwQl not havthim, Qk*11 have
her Dandng-Malkr latha: Iktiow het meaning, I undo-
fland her3

Don, Tbou malkioas finlHh Woman, you undcrfUnd ha !
but I do underftand her, Qx fays I wiQ not break my Oad^
nor he his Frtncb Cuftoms, To thiou^ our dillcrencc, flu
mnks Qie (hall not have him, but (he (hall.

Hifp. But I (han't.

Cau. I know (be will not have him, bccaule (be hates
bim.

Pm. I tell you, if Ibe does hate him, 'as a (ign Ak vrill
have him for her Husband ; for 'tis not one of a thoufaod that
manies the man (he loves, look you. Bc(ides, *tis all one
whcthei (he loves him nov or not » for as foon as tb^s mar-
ty'd, (he'd be fore to bate him : that's the reafon we mlc Sff
mards are jealous and only czpcA> nay, wiU be fiire out
Wives (hall fear us, look you.

ISpf. Pray, good Father and Aunt, do not difpute about
nothii^ fisr I am fure he will never be my Husband to hate.

Cam, I am of your opinion indeed, 1 undcr(buxl you, I can
fie as fo as another.

Dtn. You, you cannot fee fo much as through your Spcfta-
dcs, but I underftand her, 'tis her meer dcluc to Marriage
makes hex ,&y (he (hall not have bim s for your poor young
thing!, when they are once in the teens, think they (haU acra
be many'd.

Hi^. Wdl, Father, tlunk you what you will, but I know
what I think.
Enter Mon(ieui in Ac Spanifh Hthit tfairt'wlywith aCreoat^

and followed by the little Blsekra-mort with a Gtlilia in bii

Hand. .

Den. Come, . did not I tell you, you fliould have him, look
you thoe, he has onnply'd with me, and is a paieSt Spani-
*rd.

Manf. Ay, ay, I am ugV Rogue enough, now fure, for my
Coufin i but 'lis your Father's &ul^ Coufin, that you han*t
the hindfomcA beft drcG'd man m the Nation, a man bcin
mife.

,v Dm.

TUGeMkmanDmuing-MMlhr'. 399

Votu YctuenatyqutFrcwi^andaCreTatonfti]] fvoto
iSt.yM^o} m, off with it.

A^mL Nkj*, I will era hoeafta Ipcak dowmfh good Englifb,
do but rpore nic my Cmat.

Don- I am uno Politivo, look you.

Monf, Let me not mt on that SfMifii YokCj but fpaic me
my Orcvat i fot I breStcvat furicunent.

Don. Agen at your Foriefmcnts !

Mm/. &dced I have ibrgpt my {el^ but have fome

"Don. Off, off, off mth it I &y, come Rfufe theOmamcn-
to principal d'lhc £p«wJJ>- Habit.

iTAst him hjr the CnvM, pdh it «f, 4ud thf BUtk
futs an tbt GoUUa.
Monf. Will you have no mercy, do (uty, alas, alas, alas^
Oh I had rather put on the £11^/^ Pittisry than fus Sfm^
Golilia, for 'twill be all a cafe I'm fuie; kit when I go
;du(»d, I fliall {bon have a Crowd of Boys about me, peppering
ihe with rotten Eggs and Tumcps, hclas, hclas.

{ Don fuu m the Gelilis.
poff. {|elasa^n?
Meaf. Mas, ala% alas.
Hipp. I flulll dye.
Pra. 1 Qiall buift, ha, ha, h?.
■ Monf. Ay, ay, you 1« what 1 am come to for your fake >
QxiGn and Uncle, pray t^ notice how ridiculous I am

rni to my Coofin that loves me above all the Woild i
can no more forbear laughing at mc, I vow and fweu,
than if I weie as arrant a Spaniard as your felf.

Dm. Be a Spaniard like me, and ne'er think pMpIe
laugh at you , thc^c was never a Spaniard that thought any
one lau^M at him ; but what do you laugh at a GoKlia,
Baggage i Come, Sinah-Black, now do you teach him to
walk with the vodadao gcfio, gracia, and Gravidad of s
true CapilioH.

Mm/. Muft I have my Dancing-mafter too ^ come little
Matter then, lead on.

(Kack firuts about tit Stagt-, the MonGcur followi himj
imitative awkardljall he does.
Dm* Malo, malo, with your Hat on yoiu Pole, as if it hung

thcii Hoins would not fuffci 'em to-cbt^^ oVrt 4iA i^iiSE&cads,

A/ea/: Tistnie, there are fomc «*ffifct«tf Otf*f fWri hi«
fomuch Reverence for cHtft'PlflWqttif, Asi tfi^'*oA'<Jif(ufe

I vo* and fwear. *■ ■

Dm. Come, Black, teailHFltM'tlCW'td-iltiaKf d'.^W»|S^£t^

Mofif. f4a, h*, hay yotiU SfM'^ U^lSixiE^if^ Comic,
I «ow artd fwear, hah, hah, ha,

Dj»*.Well,theHo<K*doeS not (^dke tfie »fonlt',thcACs#»an
Afs (till, though he had the Ly^ Skin (5n i tBte vPill be fUglit
JfMifii) Fodl, lit fpight of tti« ga^Spaml^ Habiti look yotn But,
BIach,do what you can, ittake (h^mod of him, walk him about.

Vru. tfcrcaic illefrfople, Silr,tDU fiiit tol^Aif witbabout
ProvifionS for the Wedding, and'hcre *e jVxu Cltiath^brdught
home to(>Miftwrs. iPrtxipefto the Jan'-, Mir^m^f,

X><ut. Wdl, I come: Black, dffwha* yoa<MM wkhKit^
walk him about.

Ater^. Indeed, Undr, if I were as you, I would not haw
the grave fjiiMi/Ii Habit fo travcfl'di I Ihall' difgracc it arid m;
little Black Mader too, I vow and fwevr. '

Den. Leam, learn of him,. improve yduf felftly Wm,
and do you walk him, wallf him abouB foandtf. Cdmt,
'Silhirand Daughter, 1 mull haw your Judgidvnts, thtiu^I
fliitl noli need 'em, lookyoa, vf^fr him,- lee Y)!:HKvrfk hiifl.

(ExitDorii H?pf). <m/ Cauribn.

^**/I Jamie, hedocsnofonly makeaS^«»rfrfri<rf'me,bat

a Sfaaip> jennit, in ^ving me to his Lacquey tb' rtilk'i b«-

comealoilg, little Maflor. (7%e fi/«^t)^m^i-Monfieur

{On mt fide of the Stage^ Pmt Jfaitdinf Mthfutbtf.

Vru. O the onfortunafe condition of us poor Cnambcr-iBaid^
w4io have all thr carking and caring, the watehirtg^ and 'fitting
Dp, the trouble and danger of ora* MiArcHes' Intriguts! whiUl
ihey go away with all the pteafure i and if theytan get their
Man iaa comer, 'tis well enough, they- ne'er thfcik of the
poor watchful Chamber-maid, who tits kitockmg her beds
in ihccDid, for want of better exercife' itr femr trdancholjr
Lobby or Entry, when ihecou'd imploy her time every whit
vs well at her Mi!befs for all her. QuaKty, if fbewcic bot put
to'f. ' iJlJide. -\ B/«*j

{i!iae J^ gOt# I^;j94l9n [WVHr ¥cwfle-raw, Hid « juft goiiu
toj9;^4w^()fJtiin|, whilft I owft Iv MtintfaiLuicS
l)(^e^th # cwpk <(^ ^y J^ti: fi-n^mvxxf Boys in Bonnrt^
an4 .»fn44 mm'^ §fm9> i4»«**. «« » Sfwant elfr in the
Houfe, tior have I hopes of any coihforub^e Sodctf )t t^^JlJe.

^f. ,A.9h, #Ac TH^, JIm, j«, h«>

laugh thus only fo-~nowytH93«t»tMioa inihc fircaasyou
pa^ by youi .AfgvWff^WSi )9f^ ]AW thqS'm-if ts t Woman,,
dfl^uuq^ mil fibr mKiP fwrhwt ■ if <o i aun,thw, with'
a noo, fo— but frown a fittle moic, frown,
^c jf «o ? WtffiWi y W fvpu'4 i>$ Ttrjr cc- MonC imkating
icmontous too, thus — lb — yom Neck ncaicr tie Blaek,
yout Ihouldcr, fo — Now if you wou'4
iSf%^ ^H^H^t^y of qpy m^n ,Qr thvjig, 4o ^s with youi
Oil«^-«^4'.-TnT- a|M &r«ii WP yew ihowWcrs, till they hide yogi
Ears. Now walk agen. (7lw Black «)i^ riir Monlicut

f vtfiJt »ff the StMgt,

Tfu. All my hopes a^: in tl^t Co^^noib that ■■, 1 nmlt take
^ 1^ rny 4ipi^ IpavingF, tfxH^ wc Chamhct'Maids
aie wont to be bcfoie-hand with them : B)K he is the dulkft,
B^otiicfleft ^i'opl, fyt 9 f iracbifi'd Focd, as ever I £iw i for no-
body oxi'd betnoTC coiningtohimthanIhavebecn(though
I fay it^ and yet I acn ne'a the ncaier. I have ftcJlen away his
llaoNlkerc^iff^ and told hi^n of it, and yet be wouM ncrct fo
much as ibuggle with mc to get it again. I have puU*d off
his {Vonigiite, uiuy'd hts Elibbons, and have been very bold
jfrith hiro, yet hp would never he fo m&i me i nay, I have
l^h'd him,pouncn'd him, and tickl'd himjind yet he would
nqr^r dp the ykc fer mc. (Tbt Black and

(Monlkua rttum.

^K N2X> tibus,thus> Sir.

Pm. And to make tny pcrfon more acoptablc to bknj ban
us'dArt, as(b^bjr> li>r every night froGcheafti^ Ihave

g02 The GetttMtmDMeittg'Msfhi',

wonidK FoKhod-fHcee of Bees-wax and Hogs-^icafe, ind eve>
ry fDoming walh*d mthBunfrinilk and wild lanfw, and havi
pit on cFayday for his onir &k my Sanday's Bowdr-Stoddn^
and have new chalk*d myShoocs and coi^bntly as die ntmn-
ing aix i nay, 1 have taken occaGon to gaitet my Stockinet
b^e luiD,is ifunawaicsof himiftn s goodLcgftKlFoot,wrai
good Swoes and Stockings, aieTery(nrovddng^tbeyray,biit
OMDcvil-fr-tMt wou'd be ht piorck'd jbut Imoft thiok of a wajr;

Btsiki, Thm, thiB.

Mow. What fo— — •wcU, well, 1 have Leilbos enow for thif
titne. Little Mailer, I wQI have no mote, left the tmdtiplicily of
'cm make me forg^ *cm, da—Pnwj ait thoa thete and fo peiH
£vt? what ut thou thinking c^?

Pnt. Indeed 1 am atham'd to tell your WotQup;

Mot^. What afluunM ! wot thou tMnldng dM of my beafl*
- Iinc&? hajha^ha.

Pnu Nay, ihenlamftHc'dtotcllyouiWoiflupinmyowD
vindiation.

Atmf Come then.

Prit. But indeed your Worfhip— I'm afitam'd that I am,
thou^it wasoothitigbutofadreamlhadi^yoorfwcctWof'
(hip laft night.

Monf Of my fweet Worfhip.' ] wanant it was a fwect
dream then, what was it? ha, ha,ha.

Pm, Nay, indeed I have told your WorQiip enough already}
you may gue6 die reft,

Monf. I cannot guefe, h3,ha,1ia,nhat(bou'ditbe? pittbtc
let'sknow the left.

Fm. Wou'd you have me fo impudent ?

Mmf. Impudent.' ha, ha^ ba> nay prithee tell mcj for I
can't gucISi da-—

Pm. Nay,'tjs always fo? for want of the mens gueffing,the
poor Women are fbic'd to be impudent, but 1 am flill a(h^*d.

Me«f, I will know it, fpeak.

Pru. Why then methougbts lad night you came up into my
Chamber in your Shirt, when I was in Bed, and that you mi^t
catil/ do i for I have ne'ci a Lock to my door i now I warrant
I am as red as my Petticoat.

Menf, No, thou'rt as yellow as e'er thou wert.

Pm. Yellow, Sir?

Mob/. . Ay, ay i but let's hear the Dream out. Pr*e.

Tie Gankmm Dtmetng'iiUfief. 303

"Pru. Whjr, cai^ yoa guds thereft now?

J4!m^ No not I, I vow and fwear, cpme let's beat;

Trm, Eut can't joa guefi in etnxll?

Mm/: Not I, the Dcril eat mc.

Fnk \Hotffji&jtX! idiytbaiiDcthoiighisyoacainctobcd
Co me? NowamlasndasniyPcttkoicag^.

Mm/. Ha, faa, ba, wdl, and what tbcn? ha,Iu,ha.

Tru. Nay, naw I know by yonr WorQuys laughii^ 70a
gucTs what yoD did : Vm Aue I ay'd out and wak'dall in toan,
with ibele woids bi my mootb. You have undone me/ you
have undofx me! your Woffliip has undone me.

Manf. Elah, ha, ha> but you wak'd and found it was bata
Dieam.

Tru- Indeed it was To lively ,Iknow not whether 'twas aDream
or no : But if yon were not tbeiCj 111 midectake you may come
when you wilt, and do any thing tome you will,! flccp lb tifl^

Monf. No, no, I don't believe that.

Trit. Indeed you may, your Worfliip— —

Menf, It cannot be.

Tru. InlciifiUe Bcafi.' be will not undeifland mc yet, and
one w ou'd think I fpcak fdain enough* (.Afide.

Mmf. Well, but Pn»i what art thou thinking of >

Trm. Of the Dream, whether it were a Dream or na

Monf. 'TwasaDream, 1 warrant ihee.

frm. Wasit? lambogeousglad it was a Dream.

^UW/: Ay, ay, it was a Dream v and 1 am hugeous gU#k
wis a Dicam mo.

' . Fru. But now I have toh) your Worflup, my doer hath nci-
iIkt Lodt nor Latch to iti if you thou'd be fo naughty as to
cpme one night,aDd prove the dream true~- 1 am fo E^raid oo't.

Altnf. Ne'er fear ity dreams go by the contraries.
'■'• Pru. Then by that I Ibould come into your Worflup'sCham-
bor, and a»ne to bed to your Worfliip. Now am I as.red as
liiy Petticoat again, I warrant.

Afn/. No, thou art 00 redder than a Brick unbumt, Prtu.
-Frtfi Butifl fliou'ddoruchatridillunyfleep, yout Wot-.
Ihip wou'd not ccnfure a poor hormku^id, I hope ; fot I
am apt'to walk in my flecp.

Mmf. Wdl then Priw, becaulc thou Oialt not fhame the Qif
(poor Waidi) I'll be furc to lock my door every night fafl.

Prm'

304 tbt GetttlimMt tXtnti/^Mt^eri

PrM. Scsfo, thisirai*lftndwi4n(«(lci,Vin^oamainune('
\y ind 4owa light lo ttt* bui'Mfi, likco^tWDOiaK n —

Motif. O the Dtncing-Miftcc.^

?rju. On Sir, 1 )»ve fomMhio^ to fey to ysu ULyou Eal,
vhich I am a(tiam*d to fynk ^loui.

^oflf. AnothfT ibnc, anothn tifiie, Phk, bi^ DOtfi' go. call
yogi MiArcfs le htt Duidng-inyftar, ^, ge.
J'rw. Nay, prsv hoar mc, Sir, lu&
]Mm|^ Anefhcithiw, uiotlja fitsf, iVii* , ptidx* ko gair<
Pru. Nay, 1 btr&cch yom Wotflup hcai hoc.
Mm/) No, prltbe* be gOM.

Pru, Nay, 1 am c'cR well enoughrcrvMfornotfpeaUa^ny
mind whtn I had an Mportuniiy, WoH, 1 nuft be ^Mg
the modcA Woman, fedbotb ; a Wdm»e hy|)Qcnft. iatius
ca(«dofSonlydKcivohcr'^, f-Smi^Vme-

Mimf. Othc brave I>ancfnK<MaAer, the fip»Danin^qHttcr,
youi Servant, yeurSewuiC

Ger. YouiScivanr, Sir,1protcft I diflsot kBonycyi.ait^rA.
I am afraid this Fool fhou'd fp(») aH, noMHlhOaadiog IMffi^ \
t»s caic and managemciM, . yet i oi^t ipi toili hn i but a Se-
act is roon ^ wm % ttradKious KtwR&tfaaaa taUiativ« Po(^

iAfidt, i
Jl/(w/: Come, Sir, you ntaA kno^a Sttk Ebother Drnfipg*
mallerofyoiws, W^hing-naafliar I Ouu'd have fiiid. i fiv be .
tcacbcime tQwaU{andtiulKLegib}ttfae.by: Pr^y lEn)^w.faim, '
Sir, Talutc him. Sir, you Chrifliait E^andng-imflns afr ijufogdr
Ger. But, MonTipu, wh^ (kangc Mctagiorphofis is l^ ^
you look liiH a SfanuuJ, and talk like an Et^k^mvh afitini
which I thought had bus iipoffiHc.

Mmf. Nothing knfioffible to Lov<» I muft d^'t* fn loft W
Mfiie^ your peeUy Scholar, be 'lit 1 am to b^w hec ; jrou
nay ttnoeiDbcf itoldyo4fiiewasio.bc[n«n7*d^9.ft8r<Atn)an«
a man of Honour and Quality. '

Gtr, But does (he e^oyo yixiCQ tUs-fanice ppgnafK^ ln«^ I
am fun it is to ycu. .j^ I

A4mf, Ho, Qq> 'tis oy the compuMipa oS' the Ss^^'A Fop
her Father, who is (b arrant a Spani^^ k^^ifm'i MiVQI! um i
his Daughter, if be hacw uho you mtat; thm6iK bayoa 4c '
dal care to difleiDble wdl. ^Pr*mijim »fi^ I

tU GniktUM Dmuiifg-Mtfier. 50$

iStr- 1 tnrraBtyou.

Mmf. Dear GtrrsrJ, go little tAi&a and call my Coufni»
(ell bcr, her Dandng-mancr is here. (Exit Elack*

t ky, Dtu OtrrarJ, Faiih I'm nbliged to you fur the trouble
you have had: whenlftntvou, I intended a Jrit ir.drcd, bpt
did IK>E tMnk it Wi)u'd have been fo dangerous a Jclt i thercfoie
pray foruvc me.
Ger. fdo, do heiitnv frvgive yot).
iltfni/I But an you Ktigivc me, foi lending you at firft, like
a Fool as I was, 'twas ill done t^riie; can youfbigivc me?
Gtr. Yes, ycs,Idoforgive voilt
Ma^. Well, thou an a gtnetous man, 1 Vow and Twear, to
COOK and take ufoa you tms trouble, dangei', and fiiumr, to
be tbou^t a piltrv Dandng mailer, and all this (o piekrvc a
Ladies Hofiour and Ltf<^ wlw intended to ubult } outmt I take
(he obligation upon me.

Gtr. Bi(h, foA^ you aie not obltgrd to me at itl.

Unf, Faith but I am ftiangcl/ oUiged to you.

Gtr, Faith but ^ ou ate noti

Mmf. I vow and fwear but 1 am.

Gtr. I fweai you aie not..

Mm/. Nai'jthouait (bgcneibu)aDandng-ntafier-ha^a,hai

Emer Don Diego, Hippolita, Caution, nJ Prue.
Dm. You Stall not cotne in, Silter.
Cmu. Iwilfcomein.
Dufo You wif I iK>t be dvili

Cmit. Vm fiire they will not be civil, if t do not come In, I
muA, I will.

Dtn. Well, honeft Friend, you are very pun^al, which 19
*Tare Vcrtue in a Dancing- mallei, I take notice cf it, ar.il wiU
remendwT it, Iwill, look you.

Mmf. So lillf damn'd politick ^f^m/bUiKkle, ha,h3iha<

( A/i<it.
Gtr* My tine Schnlar, Sir, there, Ihall never have rearon ( as
1 lold you ) Sir, to fay I am not a pundual man, for 1 un
tnore her Servant than to any Scholar J ever had.

Menf. wcH faid, I'faithi thou doA make a p.clty Fool of
hun, I vow and fweat } but I wonder people can be made fiich
Fools of, ha, ha^ha. (^fiJ'-

Hiff> Well) MaOer^ I th«nk you, and I hqx I Ihall be a
grateful kind Scholar to you. X Mnf.

^66 Tie GeutkmanDaHcing-iAdfiik'.

Menf. Ha ha, ha, cunning little Jilt, what a Fdo! (be tftakri
of him too : I wonder people can be made fuch Fools of, I vow
and fwear, ha, ha, ha. (A/Ue.

Hipp. Indeed it (hall go hard but I'H be i gratc&l hind Scho-
lar to you.

Caut. As kind as ever your Mothciwas fo'^oui Father, I
warrant.

Dm. How ', agcn with your fenfelcfs fufpidons.
Monf. Pi(h, piih. Aunt, h^, ha, ha,(he's a Fool another way,
(he thinks (he loves him, ha, ha, ha. Lord, that people fliou'd
be fuch Fools/ (jifitit.

Caut. Come, come, I cannot but fpeak, I tell 70D bewnc in
timei for he is no Dancing-miftcr, butfonic det»uch'd pafca
who will mump you of your Daughter.

Dan. Willyoubewiferthenlllill^ Mump me of my Daugh-
ter .' I wou'd I cou'd fee any one mump me of my Daughter.
CaM. Andmumpyouof your MiftK&ttx>, young ^fMj,>rZ
Manft Ha, ha, ha, will you be wifei than I too, votaMua^
mc of my MidieD ! I wou'd Icou'd fee any one mump mcof
my Miftrefi. (Tt Caution.

I am afraid this damn'd old Aunt fhou'd difcovcr us, I vow
and fwear ; be careiul thciefore and refolute. (JfiJe to Go.
(imd Hipp.
Caut. He, he does not go about his bus'ncls like a Dancing-
niafter, he'll ne'er tcachhct to dance, but he'll teach her no
goodncis (bon enough T warrant ; he a DancfUg-roaAct .'

Monjl I, the Devil eat mc, if he be not the bell' Dancing-ma-
ftcr in England now. Was not that well faid, Coulin i wasit
not ? for he's a Gentleman Dandng-maltcr, you know.

iAfidetoGtx.MudlSfp.
Don, You know him, Coulin, very well, Coufia you (cnt
him to my Daughter?

Mon(. Yes, yes, Uockle, know him.
We'll ac're be difcovered, I warrant ha, ha, ha- iAftit'

Caut, But will you be madea Fool oiftoo ?
Mmf. Ay, ay, Au^t, ne'er trouble your felf.
Von. Gome, Friend, about your bus'ncfe, about with my
Daughter.

Hiff. Nay, pray Father, be pleas'd to go out alJttle, and let
us but prattle a while, and then you Qlall fee mc dance the
whole Dance to the Violin. £)»«.

hm. Tittle Tattle, tnoic foolii^ (till.' did not you.% when
j'bur Mallei was here laft, I flumM fee you dance to the Violin
when he cahie agen.

. Biff. So I did. Father j but let me praAife a little fnft be-
foicj ihat I may be pcrfcd. fiefides, my Aunt is here, and
ihc will put mc out, you know I cannot dance before her.

Dm. Fiddle, ^ddle.
, Manf. Thcy^reafiaidtobedircoVcicdby.Gfrr^<J*sbungling^
I (a. Gome, come. Uncle, turn out, let 'cm prac^ife. i Afide.

Dm. \ y/cai't ("voto a St. Jago) what a fooling's here ?

Monf. Comcj coitic, let *em pra^ile, turn otit, turti outj'
Uncle.

IW. Why, can't (he pra^fe it before tne ?
. Monf. Gime, DarKCis, and Singers are fometinles hutBourr
fom ') befidcs, 't^l be more grateful to you, to jiee it dancM all
at once lb the Violin. Come^ turn out, turn out I fay. ,

Dm. Whatafooling's here IHU amongit you, voto^

Monf &) there he is with you, voto, turn out, tum out, t
VOVtr and (wear you fluU turn put. (^Takej him hj the (hoitlJer:

Don. Well, (hall I fee her dance it to the Violin at la(t ? .

6ft. YeSj ]ies,Sit,whatdoyouthinfcIte3chherf6r. (Exit,

Dofi.

^m/. .Gd, gp, turn out, ^d you too Aunt.

Csut. Seiioufly, Ncf^ew, I (hall not budg^ royally I {ia3\

not* .

Monf. Royally you mull. Aunt, conic;

Ctmt. Pray hear me, Nephew.'

MmJ, 1 will not hear you.

Caut. 'Tis Ibr your lahe f lUy, I mu(t not (ufTcryodtol)^
wrong'd.

Monf Coine, no wheedling, Annt, ooinc away*

Cant. That ilippery Fellow will do*t.

4:fwj/I Let himdo't

Cattr. Indeed he will dp'tj royally he wilt

Monf Well let him do'r^ royally.

Ctatt. ric will wrong you. . .

Monf. Weil let him, liay, I halve a mind to^ wrongd^
what's that to you, I Will be wrong'd, '£ yeu go thereto,- i
f ow and fwcai.

3o8 . 7U QtmkmM DMong-Mafor.

Caut. You (ball tvU be wrang'd.

Ma^. I will.

Cant. You OmU not. (Don rttmrms^

Dm. What's the matter ? won't Ox be nd*d sotDC, come
away, you (ball not dinurb *em ( Don < W Monficui th^ Can-

Ction Mf.

C«it(. Dc'ftehow they laugh at you both, wcflgoto, the

Troth>[clling Trejun Oentltwomah of di was nc*ci bclicv'd, dl

tlie Town was taken, nimag*d, and ranfak'd even, even ft> —

(Exit Cmdoni

Afimfi Hah, hah, ha, turn out.
Lord, that pec^Ie fliou*d be fuch anant Cuddcns, ha«la,liai
But I may ftay, maV I not ?

Hifp, No, no,l'dhaveyougoout andholdthedonr^Goiifiii,
or (ee my Fath^ Will come in agen before his time. •

Monf. t Will, I will then, (ireet Coufin, *tis well duwgbt
on, ttiat was WctI thought on indted for me to hold the dooi,

Hipp. But be furc you keep him our, Coului,tjn wcknodt.

Mmf I warianCyoii, Coulin, Lord, that people ftiou'd be
made fuch Fools of, Hah, hah, ha. (&«f Monfeur.

Ger. So, fo, to tnake him hold the door, wl^ I fteal bR
MiArc&isnotunplca&nt. . ' i

ISfp. Ay, but woti'd tou dof*^ ill a thing, lb tieachcrousi
thing? Faith *lisntitw^ll. I

Gei^. Faith I can*t help it. Since 'tis for your lake, cootc,
Swreteft, b not this our way into the Galkry f I

Hipp'. Yes, but it goes againft my Confcientte to be iccrlluy
to (b ill a thing ; you lay ynu do it for my lake ?

Oer. AUs, poor Mils .' 'tis not igainA your Conlftencr, but
againft your modtfty, >ou think to do it franckly.

Hipp. Nay, Ifit beagainll myModeflytoo,Ican'tdou!n> j
deed.

Gee, Come, come, Mifs, letus makehaftr, all's ready*

Hipp. Nay, Faith, Icint latistiemylciU[Je. i

Ger. Come, Dcarelt, this isnota dmeforlcniples nor mo* |
dclly j mpdelly bciivcen Lovers is as impertinent as Caemnny
brtWRn Fiknds, irnd Modilly is now as unfeafonable as on the j
Wcddbg-utght : come away, ffly Deaieft.

Hipfu Whither? I

- ^..- .^,v- Off. !

Tie GeulUmoM DMcit/g Majier: 309

GlTi Nay Gire, we have Idl (00 much time alrcad v : Is that
a propa Qudtion now Mf you wou'd know, come alotig, for
I have alt leady.

Hiff. But I am not ready.

Ger. Truly, MifSj we (hall have your Father come in gpon
us, and prevent us agiin, as be did in the morning.

Hiff. Twas well fix me he did ; for on my Confcicnce if lie
had iK>t come in, 1 had gone clear away with you wtien I vfas
in the humour.

Gtr4 Com Dareft> you wou*d heighten me as if you were
not yet fai the Gunc humour. Come, come away, the CknclMlpS'-^:
and lix b FCidy,

f£fp. TiS too late to take the Air. and I am not ready.

Oer. You were ready in the Morning.

Hfff Ii fb I was.

Cer. Come, come, Mi&, indeed the Jeft begins to be none.

tlipf- What, I warrant you think me in ]e& then >

Ger. In jelt, certainly, built begins to be troublcfom,

Hspf. But, Sir, you cou'd believe I was in cameft in the
■ooniHig, when I but (ecmed to be ready to go with you i and .
why won't you believe me now, when I declare tc the contra-
ry? I take it unkindlyi that the longrr I am acquainted with
you, you {bou'd have the lc& confidqicc jn mc

Gtr. For Heaven's lake, Miis, lo^ no more time thus, yout
Father wHl come in upon us, as he did

tSpf. Ut bim if he will

Gtr. He'll hinder our dc%n.

Hiff. No, he will not, for mine it to fiay here now.

Ger. are you in camcft ?

'tSpp- You'll hnd it fo.

Gtr. How, why you omfcis'd but now you wouM have
gone with jne in the morning.

Hipf. I was in the humour then. x

Gtr. Aod I hofc you arc in the lame Itill, you caimot change
fo ^n.

Ifi^. Why, Is ijt ncx a whole day ago ?

Ger. What, are you not a day in the fame humQur l

Hipf. Lord .' that you who know the Tpwti (they fay^
Ihou'd think any Wotiian could be a whole day tt^ther m an
humour, haj ha, ha.

■ X.J (-, .,. ■■■ :;■." ,..,-.--■■'' ^Ger.

gid The GeetiemMt DoMcipg-Mafler.

Ger. Hey ! this b^^ to be pleaiant: What, won'cyou^
with rue thcp after all ?

Hipp' NoindeccI, Sir, I de'fire to be cxcus'd.
Ger. Then you have abus'd me all this fl*iW?
Hipp- It may be (o,

Ger. Cou'd all that To natuiat Innocency be diffcmbrd, &idi
it cou'd not, deaicft Mife.

Hifp- Faith it was,. dear Maflcr.
Ger. Was it, faith?

Hipf. Methiuksyoanugbt beliere me wi^iout an Oatb :
you awl cou'd diffemble with my Father, why fliwt'd ^oM
think I cou'd not with you ? - '

Ger. So young a Whcadic j
Hipp- Ay? 3 meet dauin'd Jade I am.
Cer. ^\vil have been abus'd, you lay ?
W'pp- 'Tis well you can bcHcvc it at lalh
Ger. And 1 muft never hope ibr you }
Hipf. Wou'd you have cat, abufc you again ?
Ger. Then you will not go with me ?
ffiy^. Noi twt foi your cMnfoxt yout lofs will rot be
great, and that you may not lefent it, for ooce I'll be
jngenous and difabufe you i I am no HciTcTs, as I told
you, to twelve hundied pounds a year. I was only a lying
Jad^ then, now will you jpart with mc willingly I doubt not.
Ger. i wifh 1 cou'd. (.Sigbi.

Hipp, Come, now I hod 'tis your turn to difTcmblc * bat
inen ufc to dllTemblc for money .will you dUTembk for notluog ?
Ger. 'Tis too late for mc to difTcrable.
t£pp.' Don't you dilTcmblc faiths
Ger. Nay this is too Quel.

Hipp. Whw, wou'd you take me wUhout the twdve
hundred pounds a year? wou'd you befudi aFoolas to Aeal
a Woman with nothing? ■ ■

G'r.. 1^1 .convince you, for y<xi (hall go with HKi and
fince you arc twelve hundred pounds a year the lighter, youH
be the eaCcrcairied away,^ , , (Hetaket bermbit Jrm,

Pru. What, he takes;her away againfl her Will, IfiodI
moEl knock fiw my (ma^ then. . . "' (SbeKaoeki-

Tie Qentkman t^aKchgr-MaJhrl 3 1 1

Entir Don Dicgp tnd Mrs, Caution. ' "^
Hiff. My Father, (ny Father is hcrr.
Gtr. PiCTcntcd again .' (Ga.feti her dawn again.

Don. YihaX, you have done I hope now, Friend, for good

uiddi>

Cer. Yes, yes> wc have done for good and all indce d.

Dm. How, now ! j-ou fectn to be out of hDtiiour> Friend.

Ctr. Yes, fol am, I can't help it.

Com. He's a Diflcmbter in his very Throat, Broiheri

Hifp. Pray do not cany things fo as to difcover your filf.
If it be but for m; fake, good MaOer. (/ifide toGei.

Gtr. She is grown impudenf. (^Afiie,

Cant. See, lee, they whifpcr, Brother, to fleal a Kifs un-
dcraWhifpei, OthcHarletry!

Dm. What's the matter. Friend i

Hipp. I fay for my fake be in humour, and do not di^vei
yourlcif, but beas patient as a Dancing-mailer flill. (To Gvi.

Dm. What, (he is whilpering to him indeed ! what's the
mattei f I will know It, Friend, look you.

Gen Will you know it ?

Don. Yes, I will know it.

Gn-.Why,if you will know tt,then (hewoD'd not do asT wouM
have hcTj and whifpa'd me to dcHre me not to difcover it to you.

Den. What, fioSy, wou'd you not do as hcM h^ve you!
Ill make you do as he'd have you.

Ger. I wi(h yba wou'd<

CdHt. *Tis a Ije, {he*ll do all hell have hex do, and moie
too, to my knowledge;

pM. Cotne, tell me i^hat *twas then flie wou'd sot 4o,

oHhedoit, Hufly, or -^-^Coinc, take her by the hand,

Friend, come, be^ Jet's ftc if (be will not do any thing now
Iain here.

Hifp, Come, piay beiQhomoui, tbfier.

Ger. I cannot dlflenbtelike yoa

Dm. >yhat, fhc can't diifcmblc already, can (he ?

Cant. Yes but Oic can, txit'tis with you fhe diiTctnMes.i for
they aie not lallen out, as we think, for I'll be fworn I &w her
juA now give him the languifhlng Eye, as they caXl It, that is,
tKc'Whttines-Eyc, of old called the ^ceps-Eyc. Illbefwum
I iaw it wi£ didfc two Eyes, that I did.

3IS JteGetittimMn DMdng-Mafer^

Hifp. You'll bedrajr us, bwc a cjk, good Mafter. (AUi
Gtr. Hold youi peace, l&y, lilly Woman. iuGtt.

Pm. BNt docs (be di^mblc alieady ? how do vou mean i
Gtr. Stic pretends Ibc can't do what Qie (hou'd do>, and that

Ihe is mt in humour, the cotninon Excufe of Womett ftx

not doing what iheylhou'd do.

Dom. Come, I'll put her in humour ; dance i lia;, come,

about with her. Mailer.
Get. 1 am in a pietfy humouL to daoce. (^^

I cannot ibol any loiuui, Gnccyouhavcfixird me.

rnHipp.

tiiff. You wou'd not be fo ungenertws, as to betray the
Woinaa that hated t ou, 1 do not do (bat yet ; foi Heaven's fake
for this once bf more obedient to my dclires than youc Fafli'
m.

Den. What is (be hunaourTnm ftill i But methinks you \ock
your lelf as if you were in an ill humour i but about with hct-
' Get. I am in DO gocxi Dancing humour indeed.
Exter Munfieur.

Msnf. Well, how goes the Dancing forward ? what my
Aunt h re to dUhiib 'cm again i

2>M> Come, come. (Ger. ItsJi btr shmt.

Cant. 1 fay Aand oS, tfuu (halt not come near, avtnd,
Sitan, as they fay.

DtH. Nay then we (ball have it Nephew, bold her a tinlpf
that (be may not dUlutb 'em- come, now away with her.

Gtr. One, two, and a Coupee.
Fool'd and abus'd. C^jUt,

Cant. Wilt thou lay violent hands upon thy own natural
AuBt> Wretch? [72i Moufieur Mii^j^ Cautioo.

DaiK Coow, about with ben.

Ger. One, two, three, lour, and turn lottnd.
By fuch a plKc of Innocqncy. (Jfidb

Csut. Doll thou fee. Fool, howhc f^MCccsherband?

Menf, That won*c do, Aual.

Hiff* Pra/, Madci, have patience, and Ui't mad our h>-

filKls...

Dm. Why did youiingec him then, Hoffft look'ou?
Cwt. Do vou fee how Ok faulo In hu Ucci and fyieact
his hand now? •

JUmf.

The Qttrlkmm Daachg-Mtfier. 313

M«i^- Your Scrnnta Aunt, that won't do, 1 lajr^
Hiff' HaTcnticnce, Mitter.

Gtr. 1 am bccoroe bcr fpot* one, two, thiee. Death,
Hdl, and thcDcTiL (^fide.

Von. Ay> the/ are three hideed i but pny have patience.
Camu Do you fee how (he leers upon turn, and clings to
biiDi can you fuficr h ?
Almf. Ay, ay.

Gtr. One, two, and a flur, can you be fo unconoernM a^
laatl?

Diw, What, it Ibe ioKonconM .' Hu0y, mfax) your bufi*
ncfiL

Gir. One, two, three, and mm loand, one, two, ^
back, Hell and Danmation.

XtoM. Ay» People iall back indeed into Hell and Daomation,
Heav'n knows.

Gtr* One, two, three, and your Honour : I can fool no long-
er.

. CMt. Nor wiQ I be withTbeld any longa like 1 poor HeiHo
her Pen, while the Kit* is carrying away her Chicken bcTorc
bcr^.

Don. What have you done } Wdl then let*» fix her dance it
now to the Vblia
Monf. Ay, ay, let*i fee herdince it tothe Violin.
Cer. Another time, another tfnoe.

l>em. Don't you belief e that, Friend ; thrlcDandng-maflers
make no bones of breakbg their words. Did not you promtfe
juftnowl Ibou'd Tee her dance it totheVkdio, and that I will
too, bcCne 1 Air.

Gar. Let Mcnfiatr play then while I dance with her, flic
can't dantt alone.

Monf I an't play it all, I'm bat a Learner * but If you'U
l^y, I'll dance with her.
Gtr. I can't play neither.
Utii. What a Dandng-mancr, and not play /
Csmt. Ay. you lee vtrhat a Dancing matter be Is. Tis as
1 uAd you, 1 warrant ; A tSaiiciiignuftcr, and not day usnt
(be Fiddle!
pfir* How f

..Dalz,;.,.C.OOQ|Bl»|

314 Ihe Gentkmdn Dttftcing-Majier.

Hipp. O y«i hive betiajM us all I if joaconfefsthat', you
undo us Tot ever. (Afan to Gcr*

Gtr. 1 cannot play, what wou*d you have me fay i

Mmf. I TOW and fwcar we aie all undone if you cannot
pU/

Dm. What, are you a Dancingmaftcc* and eamm f^y !
umph — —

Hipf. He is only out of humour. Sin here, MaHer, Iktww
you will, play for me yct> for he has an excellent hand.

(SbeofferjGataxdtheyielM.

Monf. Ay, that he has.
hi givng a box on the Ear. {Afide,

Don. Why does he not play then?

Biff. Heie> MaAer, pray play fiw my lake.

(GtveiGa.thtVUUii^

GtTi Whatwou'dyoahavemedowithii? lannotplaya
. ftroke.

Hif^ No, (fay, then, feemtoQiDC it, and break the firings
(Afartte Go.

Gir. Come then.
Next to the Devil's the Invention of Women, they'll no mcot
want an cxcufe to cheat a Father with, than an opportunity to
abufe a Husban^ (AJidc.

. But what do you give roe (iich a damn*d Fiddle with rotten
firings for ?

' (.Winds uf thi firings till thty breaks and tbrmfH the VmUb
m tbt^reund.

Dim. Hey day, the Dandng-maftet is frantick..

M>nf. \^ ha, ha, that people (hou'd be niade fudi Foob
of.

Catit. He broke the ftiings on ^rpofe, beaa|ile he cou'd not
play, you are blind Brother.
- Don. What, will you fcefiuthcrthan I? look you^. '

Hif^ But pray. Mailer, why, iiiifuchhafle?

Qer, BeQufc you have done with me.

Don, But don'c you intend to come to monow agen^

Gw. Your Daughter dodf not dcfife it. ' '

Dm. No matter, 1 do, 1 muQ be your pay-M)Acr I'm ivae^
I wou'd have you come betimes tot^ not only to make li£c'
-^rfet^ i but lincc you have fo good a hand upon the yi9Hn.

The Gentleman Dancing- Mafier. j i )

topla)ry(xiip2n with halfadozcnofMufioansmore, whom
I wou*d have you biing mth youi foi wc will have a very
merry Wedding, though a very private aiej you'll be fure to
«omc? \

Ger. Your Daughter does cot dcfire it. , ;

Don. Come, come. Baggage, you OiaO dcQic it'(^im> he
|s your MaAer.

JEfp. My Father will have me dcHre it of you, itfeems.
Ger. 'But you'll make a Fool c^ roc agcn ; if I (hou*d come,
)rou*d you not i

Hipp. U I (hou'd tell you fo, you'd be fare not to come.
Dm, Come, come, (be (ball not make a Fool of you, upoQ
my word: I'llfecurcyou, (bcflialldo what you'll have her.
Matf. Ha, ha, ha, fo, fo, filly Don. iAfidi^

Ger. But Madam, will you have me come ?
Hipp. I'dhaveyou tO'knowfbt my part, 1 care not whether
youcomeornO) therea[cotherE}ancing-mafters tobe had, \t
ic ray Fathers rcqucfl to you : All that I have to fay to you is a
Httle good advice, whidi (bccaufc I will not fiiamc you) 111
0tve you in private. (H='W/^r/ Gerrard.

Cmtt VVhat, will you let beiwhilper with him too?
Dm. Nay, if you find fault with it, they (hall whiTperi
though I did not like it b^ore, I'D ha' no body wifcr than my
fflf ) but do you think if 'twere any luut, (be woa*d whifpn it
to him before us ?

' Caittt Hitbcnohurt, why does (he not fpeak aloud?
Dm. Bccaufc flie&ys the win not put the man out c^Coun*

' Cmu Heyday, put a Dandng-Maftet out of Countenance!

Dm. You lay he is no Dancing- mafier.

Ca»t. yts, for his impudence, he may be a Dandng-tiuflct.

Dm. Well, well, let her wtiifpcr before mc as much as (be
will tonight, fincc (he is to be marry'd to monow> efpecially
Cncc hn Husband that (hall be, fiandi by confenting toa '

Menf. Ay, ay, let 'em whifpcr (as you fay) as much as they
vrillbeforc we many.

She's making more fport with him, I warrant ; but I won*
^cr how people can be fool'd fo, ha, ha, ha. '' (Afi^i

" Dm. Weil, a Penny for the fectet, Dau^ter.

&pp. Itidccd, Fatha, you (behave it fo( nothing lotnoi-
ro*. ; , ,. ■ ■ ..■^=. ; ; ^ -:. - i.^Dm^

3 15 the GentlmM DMcing-Mdfter,

ZXw. Well, Friend, you wBl not fail to come.
Ger. No, no. Sir.

Y«lainaFoo!,tfldo. ,,, .^ C-^A-fc

Dm. And befureyou bring the Ftddkn with you, as 1 bW

VOUt

Wfp. Yes, be furc .you bring the Fiddlen with you, « I

Cmi. So, fo. Hell fiddk your Daughter out of tho Hou£e,
mufl you have Fiddles, with a 6ddle, ^dle.

Metf Lord ! that People (hou'd be made fudi Foob o#,

hah, iaiL ,-_

fB*.. Don. Hipp. Monf. Caut. •W wue.

Gtr. Fortune wc (boner may than V Voman tmft
To her confiding Gallant (he is juft i

But falfer VVomanonly him deceiTCS> .

V Vho to her Tongue and Eyes moft credit g^ves. (Exa*

ACT V. SCENE I.

Enttr Moi^nir sad Black jtalkit^ ovtr tie Stt^i^ ta
them Mr. Oetrard.
Mmf.f^OOD Morrow to Thee, noble Dandng-mafia,
\J ha, ha, ha* your little Black-Brother here, my
'Maftei» I fee, is the more diligent man of the two i but why
do you come b late i what you begin to oegled your Sch<^r,
do you i Little black Mafia (cm LiettuW) pray get you out
of the Room. Bxit Black.

VVhat, out c^ humour, Mm ! a Dandng-mattei (btxiM be
like hU Fiddle, always in Tunc Come, my CoaGa has made
on Afsoftbce, wtut then, 1 know it.
(^. Does he know it ^ (_AfiJt.

14<mf. But fvothce dwi't fce mgry, *twas 4giecd upon betwixt
Hs, before I fcQt you, tomakca Fodof thee, ha, ha, ha.
Gw.VVasilfo?

M^if. I kn^w you would be apt to entertain vain hopes
fipm tiie Summons of a Lady i but laith the defign was but ts
make a Fool of diee, as you iiod.
Ga, *Tisveryv«B. ■ Mmf.

7%e Geittlman Dtming^-M^fier, 317

Mm/) But indeed 1 did not thinK the Jeft wou*d hm lafled
To long, and diat nay Coufin wou*d have nude a Daadng-ma-
ftcTof you, hs, ha, ha.

Ger. The Fool has rcafim, I iind, and I am the Coxcomb
while I thought him (b. (.-^'i*-

Mmf. Come, I fee you arc uneafle, and the Jcft of being a
Dancing-mailer grows tedious to you i buthiveaUttlcpationor,
the Patfon is fcnt for, and when once my Coulin and I ate inat-
ijiM, my Uncle may know who you aic.

Qtt. lamcertainiyabas'd.

Mmf. What do Vou.&y ? (KonCIi/ftwf.

Ger. MeerlyfoolU (JfiJe*

Mmf. Why do you doubt it > ha, ha, ha.

Oer. Cart it be > (^fiJt.

Monf. Pifh, pifh, (be told me yeAerdayas loon as yni vmt
gone, that (he had led you into a Fools Paradife, and made
you bdicve fiu wou'd go away with you, ha, ha, ha.

Ger. Did fhe jb ^ 1 am no longer to doubt it then f (^JiJt.

Monf. Ay, ay, (he makes a mccr Fod of thee, I vow mA
fwcar> but don't be concern'd, thae's hardly a man of a thou-
fandbut has been made a Fool of by fome VVoman 01 othei ;
I have been made a Fool of my felf, man, by the Women, I
have, I TOW and fwear, 1 have.

Ger. VVcH, youhave.Lbflicvelt, for you arc a Coxcom!^

Mmf. Lord ! you necfi not be fo touchy with one, I tell you
but the truth for your-^ood, ^ though (he docs, I wou'd
not foot you any longer \ bat prelhee dont be troubi'd at what
can't be helped, VVotnen are made on purpofc to fool men
when they arc Children, they fool their Fathers < and when,
they havetakcn their leaves of their Hanging-flecves, they feed
their Qallants or Dancing-mallets, ha, ha, ha.

Ger. Hark you, Sir, to be foolM byaWomanyou &yis
not to be help'd i but I will not be fool'd by a FooL

Mmf, You fiiew your Englith breeding now, an EngWh
Rhral Is fo dull and btutifh as not to undetnand raillery, but
what is fpokcn in your Paffion, I'll take no notice of, for 1 am
your Friend, and would not have you my Rival to make your
felf ridiculous. Come, prcthee, pctbce, don*t be fo con<
cein'd t for as 1 was faying. Women fiift fool their Faiheri,
then thrii G^lants, and then their Husbands \ (o that it win
. . _., be

te my turn to be lbcil!cLtoo ; ffor your comfort^ and nhetl
they come to be Widows, they would foot the Devil 1 Tofr
and fweai. Come, come, deai Gerrardy prithee don't be out
of humour and tookfo fillily.'

Ger. pKthce do not talk fb tillily.

Meijf. Nay, faith I am rc&)lvM to beat you bat of this ill
humour.

GtT. Faithi I am afraid I Ihall iirft beat you into ia ill hu-
mour. '

Mmf. Ha, ha^ ha, that thou Ihould^ft be guU'd fp by a
little Gipfev) who left off her Bib but yellcrday ; tatdi J can't
but Iiugh at thee.

Gtr. Faiih then I (hall make your mirth (as bring jtoo yb-,
lent J conclude in Ibtne Utile mif-fottunc to you. The Fool
begins totx tyranntal.

Monf. Ha, ha, ha, poor angry Danciiig-Ma^irt prrtheC
match mf Spanifh pumps and legs with one of your bell and .
ncwett Sarabands i ha, lia, ha, come ■ ' —

Ger. 1 will match yout SpaniCh Ear, thus, ^ir, and make
you Dance thus. (Strikfi mid kicks biiih

Monf. How ! fay, fa, (a, then I'll make you DatKe thus.

CMonf. drtnin bit Swtrdandrmttt bimfhin G.tx,dr0ii^

hv htretirei.

Hold, hold a little : A dentate difappointe^ Lover will cut

his own throat, then fuie he will make nothing of cutdng lus

Bivals throat. {■^fiJt-

Ger. Confideratton is an Enemy to figbdug y if yoa asvt
a mind to revenge, your fel^, your Sword's in yout haird.

Mouf. Vis^-, Sir, hold your peace ; I'll ne'er tike , my Ri*
,vab counfel bc't what 'twilL 1 know what you wou'd be at i
youaredifappCMntedofyour Miftrcfi, and coa'd hang yourfelf,
and therefore will not fear hanging j but I am a fuccclsAil Lo-
ver, and need ndthcr hang for you nor my Mtftrefe < nay, if
I (hould kill you, I know I Qiould de you a kindnels ; therefore
c*en live to die daily with envy of my tuppinclsj but if you wilt
needs die, kill your felf and be damn d few rae I vow and
fttear.

Ger* But won't you fight fotyoijr MiltreG ?

Monf. I tell you, you {hall not have the honour to be kill'd
furheiibelidcs, t willnotbehit in thctccthbyhetaslmgasl

life

. Tit GentkmM. Daneirtg-Majler: 3 ,^

live with the great love you had fcx her. Women fpcak well
iiftbttidead-HH^niidsj what will riiey do of their dead Gal-
lants ?

Ger. But if you will not fi^t fot her, you (ball Dance for
her, fince you dcfn'd me teach 70U to Dance too \ I'll teach
you to Dance thus "

{Strikes his Sword at its Legs-, MonOcut Usfsl
Mmf. Nay, if it be foi the &kc oi my MiAiefi, there's no-
(hii^l will lefule to do.

Gtr. Nay, you mull Dance on.

JMmf. Ay, ay, for my Mifliels and Sing too, la, la, la, la, b.

EtUer Hif^liU and Pnic.
Hiff.Vi\at. Swords drawa betwxit yoa two ? what's the
matter ?

M»/: Is (he here ? _ (Afidt.

Gooie put up your Sword ; you (ce this is no place fbr us > but
the Devil eat mc, if you (hall not eat my Swonlj bu^ -— —
' Miff. What'j the matta, Coufin ^
Alimf, Nothing nothing, CouHn i but yom prelcnce is a
Sanduaryfor my greateft Enemy, or elft, tefie nam
H$pf. What, you have not hurt my Coufin, Sir, I hope ?

(To Ger.
. Ger. Hov (he's comem'd fi» turn* nay, then I need not
doubt, my feus are true. (.Afide.

Mmf. What was that you faid, Coufin! hurt roe, lu, ha,
ha, hurt mc .' if any man hurt mc, hemuft do it tufely ; be
Ihallnc'ccdoit whenroy Sword'sdraw, (a, la, fa.
tbff. Bccaulc you will ne'er draw your Sword perhaps.
Mmf. Scuivily guefs'd. (AJtde.

YouLadiesmay&y any thing; but, CouGn, ptaydonot you
Calk of Swords and fighting, meddle with your Guitar, and
talk of daiKing with your Dancing- mader there, ha, ha, ba.

Hiff* But I am a&atd you have hurt my Mailer, Coului,
he lays nothing i can he drawn his breath >

Aiffi^. No, 'tis ycMi have hurt your Mafler, Coufin, in the

vety heart CouGnj and thaefore he wou'd hurt mc i for Love

is a difcaie makes people as malicious as the Plague does.

Hifft Indeed, poor Mailer, fomcthing docs ail you.

Monf. Nay, nay, Coudn, hith don't ab'ule him any kmgcr,

he's an honcft Gcntkman, and has been long of my acqualn-

tance.

390 Th GentUmm Damit^-MAfier,

UMce, aiiJamanofto1«nble(cn(ctotikehimautofhbL<m;

but fvitheC} Coufin, doD^c drire the Jeft too &r for n|f

tike.

Gtr, Hecoanick you well, pUafantcunnins-pking-MifilQr
^ hisfaltei fbi if I am your diTcnifcment, itlbaUbeat hbooA,
£ncc lie's your Gallinc Jn favour.
Hiff \ don't undcrihnd yon.

Moitf. But I do, a pox take him, and die Culfaxn tint (o
orders it, forfooth > that if a Lady abufe or a0itont a nnau, pie-
fentty the GalUnt tnuli be beaten, tuy what's noKUiweaibm-
bie, if a Woman abufe her Husband, the poor Cuckold nuifi
bear the (hamc as well as the injury. {AfiJt,

Hifp But what's the matter, Mafter ? what wis it you
, fiid ?

Get. I fay plcafant, cunning jilting Lady, though yoa make
tH'm a Cuckold, it will not be rcwnge enough for me upon bim
fiw mattying you.

Hipf. How, my furly, hi^ng, iealous, ini^r>, fawcy Mafta f

^^f. Vivfi nay, ^ith give lo(m leave to fpcalt, lo&n

of Miiirefles efpccially, ha, ha, ha. Betides, youi anger ii

too great' a favour for him, I fcom to honour turn wkh

nine you fee.

Bipp, I tell you, my fancy MaAer, my Confin fliaU ncm
be made that nannftrous thing (you mention) by tnc.

Afimf. Thank you, I vow and fweat, Coeliti, no, no, I
never thought I Oiould.

'^ Ger. Sure you tnarry him by the ^ Maxim of your Seit
whkHi b, Wittals make the befi Husbands, that Is Cukolds.

Hifp. Indeed, Mailer, whatfoever you think, I wou4 ken-
cr chufe yOt) for that purpofe than htm.

Manf! Ha, ha, ha, there (he was with Um, i*Guth, I thank
you for that, Coufin, I vow and fwear.

Hifp. Nay he ihall thank me for that too ; but how came
jaa two to quatrcl ? 1 thought, Coultn, you lud had tnonr wit
than to quaire), or more kindnrls for me than to quarrel ben i
What if my Father hearing the BuAIe (hou'd have come in^ he
wou'd have foon difcover'dour falfeDancing-aiafter (lor po^on
unmasks every man^and then the lefultofyotutpund had been
my ru'ine.

,- I Mmf.

l^eGentlemiM D'mehg-Mafier, 321

MmfUxf, you had both felt his.dcfperatr, deadly, sJaunC-
ing Daggers there are yourdtsfoi you

Hipf, Go, go. prefenrly therefortartd hinder my Father hem
coining in, whiUli put my Maftet into a better humoui. that we
may not be difcovcr'd, to the picrention' of out Wedding, or
worft, when he cotiicT, go, go.

Moaf. Well, wcH, I will, Coufin,

Hipp. Be fure you let hiiti not cotnc in this gorxl while/

Motif. No, no, I warrant you. (Mont goes 4Hit anJ r.'turnj'.

But if he fliou'd come before I wou'd have him, I'll come
before him and cough ^nd hawk foundly, that you may noi be
fiuprifcd. W(Mi't that do well, Coulin ?

Hipp. Very well, pray be gone. (£x/^ Mopfieur,

Well, Ualler, iince I tind you are i^rtcirome and melancholy,
and wouM have taken tnc away without a Portion, three in-
Alible ligns of a true (j3ver, Faith hne^ my hand now in eat*
nelt, to lead me a Dance as long as I live.

Ger, HowN this ? you furpiife me as much as when firll I
found fo much Beauty and Wit in Company with fo much In-
nocency. But, . Deareft, I would be alTuiM of what you ray,and
yet dare not ask the (^ucftion. You h^o not abufe me againj
you h — ■ — will foo! me no more fure.

Hipp: Yes but I will fure.

Cer. How ! nay, I was afraid onV.

tiipf. For I fay" you are to be triy Husband, and you fay
Hu^nds muft be Wittals, and fome Grange things to boot.

Ger. Well, I will take my Fortune.

£t^^. But have a caic, lalb man.

Cer. I will venture,

Hipp. At your peril, remember 1 wilh'd you to have a car^
fore-warn'd, forcirm'd.

P™. Indeed now that's fair i for mbft men arc fore-arm'd
before they arc wain'd.

Hipp, ^ain dealing is Tome kind of honefly however, and
few Aomcn wou'd have faid fo much.

Ger. None but thofe who would ddight in ahusbands Jea-
toulie, as the proof of his love and her honour.

Hifp. Hold, Sir, let us have a good undeillanding betwixt

otK another at firft, tha^ we may be long Friends i 1 differ

from you in the point, for a Husbands jcalouGe, which cun-

Y nins

^23 Tbe Gentleman Davafig, Mafierl

ning men wou'd pafs upon thctr\Vives foi a Complemmt is
the worft can be made 'cm, tor indeed it is 2 Complement, to
theii Beauty, but an affront to theii Honpui^

Gtr. Bur, Madam——

Hipp. So tbac upon die whole nutter I conclude, jcalouGe
in a Gallant is liumble true Love, and the height of refped,
and only an undervaluing ofhimfelfto overvalue her i biuina
Husband 'tts arrant Tawcinefs, cowardife, aiidillbicediog, aod
not to be fuffcr'd,

Gir. I Itand corrcdcd, gracious MiTs.

Hipp. Well but bare you brought the Gciitlcioen Fidlos
with you as 1 dcfircd ?

Gtr. They arc below.

Hipp. Aic they arm'd well ?

Ger. Yes, they have IiiHiumaits.too that aic not of wood ■
but what will you do with ihcoi ^

Hipp. What did you think I intended to tlo with them ?
when [ whifpei'd you to bringOenlleiren of ypar acquatntamx
inflead of Fidlas, as my Faiher dclir'd you. to bring v pnj
what did you think I intended ?

Ger. Faith, e'en tomakcFoolsof the Gentlemen-Fidlers, as
you had done of youi Gentleman Dancing-Mader.

Hipf. I intended *em for our guard aiN defence againft my
Fathers Sf«nf/% and GifjfMy force, when we were to make out
retreat from hence, and to help us to take the keys from my
Aunt, who has been the watchful Portcrof this Houfc this twelve'
months ) and this delign (if your heart do not fail you} we will
put in execution, as foon as you have given youi Fiicnds be-
low inliru^ions.

Gp". Ate you fureyour heart will Aand tight Hill? )'ou
flinched laft night, wIkd I little cxpeded it, I am fuic

Hipp. The time lad night was not fo pioper for us as now,
for reafons I will give you ; but befidcs that I confc^, I had i
cnind to try whether your interefl did not fway you more than
your love > whether the twelve hundred pounds a year I toU
Df> had not tnade a greater imprcflion in your heart than Hif-

felita; but finding it orhciwife yet hold, perhaps upon

confidaation you are grown wifer ; can you yet, as 1 Cud^ be
fo dcfperate, fo out offaHiion, as to ftcal a Womw with no-
thing ?

Gtr.

■TleGeutletifaft DMchg-Majitr. 323

Ger, Willi you I can want nothing, nor can be imde t^
any thing moie tlcti 01 hiwy.

Hiff. Think well again i can you take me without thd
twelvchunclrecl pounds a yeaci the twelve hundred pounds d
ycai ? • ..

Ger. Indeed, Mifs, now you begin to be unkind again, aild
ufe me wi»(e thin e'er you did.

ttiff. Well, though you arc fo modeft a Gentleman i% to
fufTer a Wife to be. put upon you with nothing, I have
more Confcieiice d»h to do it: I have the twelve hundrtd '
pounds a year outofmyFathet'spowei, which is yours add
I un forry it is not the Indies to tnend your bacgairi.

Gtr. Dear Mils , you but cncreafe my fcan, and not my
wealdi : pray let us make haR away, I dclirc but to be fecurc
of you i come, what are you thinking of ?

Hifp- 1 >ni thinking if f(Kne little filching inqullitivePoet
fhou'd get my Aoiy, andrepreTcnt it to the Stage s what tbo(<!
Ladtn, who are never prcdfe but at a Play* wou'd fay of m0
now tthat ( were a confident coming piece , I warrant, and
they wou'd damn the poor Poet for libeliihg the Sex ; but fufe
though Igivemy {elf and fortune away fi:vil(lyi without the '
content of my Friends, my (Confidence is lefs than tbcus, vAkj
iland oif only for frparate maintenance.

Ger. They wouM be Widows befbre thdrtinte, have a Hus- '
band and no Husband : but let us be gone, IcaA fortune (hou'd
recant my hapf^nefs^ now you arc tlx'd my dejrefl Mils.

.(HekifnttrbjitJ.
'Enter MtHificur coughing, and Don Diego.

Hiff. Oh here's tny Father.

IXiM. How now Sir ! what kifltng hei hand i what mean<
that, Friehd, ha.' Daughter, ha 1 do you permit tl^ Infolencei
ha .' ( •Veto a mi bntra. )

Ger. We are prevented again.

Hiff. Ha| ha, ha^ y Du are To full of yoatSfsnilh Jeiloufie,Fl-
therj whr you mull know he is 3 City lAndng mafier, and
they, fiAfooth, think it tiiic to kl(s the harfd at the HoncKtf
lyfore the Corant.

Mf^. Ay, ay, ay, Uocte, 'don*t you know that ?

D«. Go to, go to, you are ani eafle fftiith Fod, there »
moK in it ibaa fo, k»k you.

Y 2 Mmf*

314 TheQentkmanDMcing'Mdfiefl

Mmf. 1 vow and fwear thae's notWng more in*t, if youHi
believe one. Did not I cough and hawk i a }fcalous piadcnc
Hyaband couM not cough and hawk louder at the approadi oC
hisWivcs Chamber in vWiting-timc, and yet you wou'd not
hear me, he*ll m^ke 'no,w ado about notlung, and jou'll.be dif-
covn'd both. (Afide to Hipp, and Oa.

Von. Umph^umph, nd,nQ, I feeitplain, heisnoDancing-
mafler, now I have found it out, andl'think I can lee as &t in-
to matccis as another : I have found it noV, look you.

Gtr, My fear was prophetical.

Bifp. WhatlkiU we do> nay, pray. Sir, db not (tit yet:

CGer. (f^eri to go out wHhher.
Enter Mrt. Caution.

Caut. What's the matter. Brother? what's the tnattet?

"Don. I have found it out, Siflcr, I have found it out, Stfta,
this Villain here is no Dancing matter, lut a dilhonourer of my '
Hojle and Daughter, I caught hira kifling tier hand.

Monf.. Pifh, pilh, you are 2 ftninge5yi««/& kind of an Undc,
tliat you are, a dilhpnouier of your Daughter, becaufe he kifled
her hand \ pray haw cou'd he honour her moie? kc Id&M ha
hand, you iec, while he was making his Honour t6 her.

Po«.' You arc an unthinking, fhallow, Frncb Fop, voto—
But I tell you SillerJ have thought of it, and have found it our,
he is no Dancing' maftcT, Silter. Do you remember the whif-
pering lait night ? I have found out the meaning of that too,
andltell you,. SUler, he's no Dandng-maltet, I have'found
it out,

CjMt. You found it out, marry come up, did not I tell you
always, he was no Dancing mailer ?

Don. You tell me, you filly Woman, what then ? what of
that i you tfll me, de' think I heeded what you told tne ? but
1 tell you now I have found it out.

CsMt. I fay I found it out.

Don, I fay 'tis falfe, Goflip, I found him out.

Cata. I fay I found him out firfl, fay you Whit vou. wiH.

Don. Siller Afum, not flich a word again, guards — yoa
found him out.' ' : . " .

Okt. Niy, I muA fubmit, otdifletDble like other prudent
Women, or- ' ' - "■

DmJ Come, come, Sifter, Jake if&i^tii'idf/ heisooDin-
cifiS-"^*'*"' ' ' D.,„..,Co(.>';L Cm*.

the QentUmm Dattew^-MMjitr. 3 zj

Cant. O yes, be is a Dancing- maftcr.

Dot. Whit will jrou be wikr than I cVery way ? retncm-
ber the whilpcring, I fay.

Caut. So^ he thinks I fpcak in eamell,' thcp I'll 6t him flill.

But what do vou talk oS thni whUpcring, ihcy' wou'd not
whifpcr any ill befoicusfure. (iAfide,

£>oa, Will ywiHll be an Idiot* a Dolt, and fee nothing.

Alenf. Lotd .' yoa'll be wirei than ail the Wotid, wilt you >
are w« ^ot<Eill againfi you i pfliaw, pfhaw, 1 m^ei faw fuch
a Doniflimo as ypu ^, I vow ^nd f^cai. ' .

Dm. ]^o,-Stftpi, hc'snpD^ndn^maflci; foinowlthtnb
on'c too, he cpp*d not play upon the Fiddle.

Cai^. Pi(h, pi(h] what Dancing-mallci can play upon a
Fiddle without (tilings }

Dof, Ag^> J^' you he bfohe Vm on purpofe, betaufe
he OHi'd not play ; I have found it out now, Sifter.

Gmt- Nay, you fee ^rther tfian I> Brother.

CGer. offtri to lead htr emU

l^p. For Heaven's fake ftir not yet.

Pdib BcGdes, if you remember they wcie perpetoany putting
mcoutoftheKuom, thatwas, Sifter, bccaufe they had a mind
to he alone, I have found that out too : Now, Siller, look
you, he is no Dancmg-tnalUt'

Cauu But has he n(« given her a LeiTon often before you i

Von. I but, SiQer, he did not go about his busVds likie a
Dancing-mafler * but gp^ go dowp to the door, fome body
lingv (^^'^ Caution.

Mmlt I vow and fwfear Uncle he is a Dancing-mailer >
pray ^ sppcas'di Lord d'e think I'd tell you a lye^

Don, Ii it [vove labe a lye, and you do not confcTs it,
tlvough you va tny ncyt Heir af^cr my Daughter, I will dif-
own ihce at mu;h a^. I c)o her, bt thy folly and trcadiciy to thy
lelf, as well as me i you may have her, but never my cOatc
look .you.

Monfi How / I mull look to my hits then. (.A(ide.

Don. Look to't.

Mmf. Tfactj I had bed confc& all, before he dilcoya all,
which he will foon da

Ester Pailbn.
O hen's the Pufoi too.' he wtm'c be in cholcr notbrandini
Yj Toledo

12(5 The Gentiemnn Daitchg-Majier.

Toledo before the Parfon lure > (^JjUt,

Wdl, Uncle, I mud confefs, rather than lofcyom &vour, he
' is nu Dancing- maAci*

Don. No.

Gtr. What has the Fool betray'd us then at laft ? nay, then
'(is time to be gone') come away, Mif^ {Going eitt.

Don. Njy, Sir, if you pafs this way, my ToltJo will paft
that way» look you.

{Thrums at bim with bit SvfortL

mpp, O hold, Mr GirrarJ^ h W, Father '

M'fif. 1 tell you Uncle he's an honed Gendeman, means
no hurt, and came hither but upon a Fioliclt of mine and your
Daughters.' (Sleft hit Uuck,

Don. La-lroii, Tiaidor,

tthnf, I tell you all's but a jeft, a meet jeft, I vow and
fwcar.

Dan. A jcft, jeft with my honour voto, ha I no Famil]! to
dilhonour but die Grave i Wife, Moble, Honourable, lUii-
flrtous, PuilTant, and right WoHhipful Fannilyof the Forwulii
my, lam contented tb reprieve you, 'till yaiknow who you
liavc difhonouTcd, and waviOt you of (he greatnefs of yoni
crime before you die, we are ckfccnded, look you-- - - — ^

Monf. Nay, pray Uncle heat me.
. Dm. I &y, we are dcfcendcd.

fidrnf. *ris no matter for that.

pm. And my great, great, great Grand father was;

Monf. Well, well, I have hHnethlng to hy more ta Ha
purpofc.

Don. My great, great, great Grand father, I fay, was-— •

Monft Well, a Pin-maker in- —

"Dm. But he was a pcntleman for all that. Fop, for be was
a Serjeant to i Company of the Train-bands, and my great
great, great Gratkl f^th^ was.

^imf. Was his Son, what d)cn ? won't you let mc dear
tliis Gentleman }" ■ ■

pun. He was, he was *— — . •

JMon/.'He wasaFdt-maker, his Srai a Wine Copper, your
Father a Vintner, and fo you came M be a Canary Machant.

Don, But we were llitf GendemM; foi our Co^t was as the
Hc^j«% _ | I I was . . , ■

Vte Gentleman Vnneing-Mafier, 317

AiMf- WaS} fourfign vns the Three Tuns, and the Fkld

Canaiy > now let me tell you this honeft Gentleman

Don. Now that you IhouM due to dilhonour this Family i
by <h<! GriTM of my Anceftois in Great Saint Ellati Chinch—
Monf. Yard. ft

P«fft Tliou duU dyt fotV, ladioa. (Kiait at GatwA,

Mtnft Hold, hotd> Unde, are yoaniiad ?
Hifp. Oh, oh. ,

Monf. Nay then, by* your own Spani^ rules of honour
Cthouglihebemy Rival) I mull help him, (Draws bit Sword.
lince Ibiought him into danger. (Afide.

SuK he will not Ihew his valour upon his Nephew and Son-in-
Law, otheiffilc I {hou'dbe afraid of (hewing mine.
Hert Mr. Gtrrard, go in here, nay, you (hall go in, Mi.Ger-
rardt I'll fe^ure you 3ll> and Parlbn do you go in too with *cai,
for I &t you aic afraid of a Sword and the other World, though
you talk, of it fo bmiliarly, and make it fo fine a place.

(,Opea>» de«r,jmd tbrufis Gerraxd, HippoUta and Parlbn in,

Hhenjhuts it, andptardi it with bis Stvord,
Don. Tu tpieque, Brutt,

Mimf. Nay, now Undc you muliundcrftend realty i what,
you are not only a Dm, but you are a Von $^ixot too, I vow
and fwcar.

Don. Thoufpot, fploach of toy Family and Blood >■ I will
have his blood, lodkyou.

Maaf. Pray good Spanifl) Unctc, have but patience to hear
me > fuppofc— ■! fay, {uppofe be had donej done, done
the feat to your Daughter.

Don. How> done the feat, done the feat, done the feat, Ea
bora maU,

Monf, I fay, fuppoft, fuppofc——
Don. Suppofc— — —

Monf. I lay, fuppofe he had, for I do but fuppo& it ; well,
I am rtady to mairy hci howeva i fiow MarriaRe b as good a
Solder few crack'd Female honour, a^ blood, ana can't you fuf-
fec the Ihame but foe a quarter of an hour, till the Parfon hat
marry 'd us, and then if there be any {hame, it becomes mine >
for here in England, the Father has nothing to do with the
Dau^ters buline&, honour, what deV call't, when once Qw's
imrry'd, de'c fee.

. ¥4 ,si>«».

3 18 The Gentleman Doftcwg-M^er.

Dim- England! whar d*e ttll mc of Ef^/M^ ^ IllbcaSsa*
niard A'lll, veto a me hora, and I will be KTci^g'd, PjtJrta
Juan, Sanchez,. (Calls at the doar.

Enter Mrs. Caut. foUow'd by Flirt and Fbu.jin.P'tcarJ Msikl.
Cum. What's the matter. Brother ?

Don. Pedro, Sanchez, Juan, but «^Q a^f: dvfr. Sifter ?

are they not men in Wotjncns Cloaths > .what make the)' here?

Caut. They arc relations, they hy, of my Oxilins, who

prcfs'd in when I let in (hePar^n^thcyT^y myCoulin invited

"em to his Wedding.

Mo'f Two of mj- relations, ha— — -they are my CouBns
indeed of the other night -, a Pux ukc 'em, but ihat^s no CioTc
for 'f mi a Plague take 'cm then, but how came they hrce ^

Don.- Now muff 1 have witnelTes too of the diflitHioiv of my
Family i it were Spanifli Prudence to difpatch 'etn away qui <rf
thcHoufe, tcfoic I bfginmy iCPcnge. {,Afida.

Whatareyoui' what make youherc? whownt'd youfpcafe
with^
"Flirt. vj'i'Cn. Mmfitwr.
Don. Here he is.

A/tfff/. Now will thefe Jades di&rcd|c tn;, andfpMl my
match i6h*in the coupling minute.
Pan. t>d you know'em ?

Aieof. Yes, Sir, fuie, I know 'em. Pray, Ladies, £iy as

I fay, or ynu will fpoi) my Wedding, for 1 <tn:)utlgoingtofae

marry 'd, and if my Unck, or MiArels QuAild know whoyou

are, it might break off the match. {AJUetM^em.

Floun. We come on purpofc to break the match.

Monf. How !

fHrt. Why, de*e think to marry and leave us fo in the lurch*

Monf. What do thejadts mean ? AfiJt.

Don. Come, who are ibey ? what wou'd they have > It they

come to the Wedding, Ladies, I aiTurc you there will be oooc

today here.

himf. The/ won't troutrie you, Sir> thev are £ping agam>

Ladies, you hear nhat my Uncle (aysi I know you won't

(rouble him. I wifti 1 were well rid ot 'era. ■ ( Afide,

Floun. You fiiall not think to put us oft fa iAjide.

Don, Who ate they? what arc tbeic Duties ^

Flirt, Wc are. Sir -»

'"^"'■' _ .,^^.^ J/<gf.

TUGentUmm DMewg-i/Ufler. . 3^9

AAn/I Na?! foi Heaven's fake don't tdt who you aie, for

you «iU undo me, and Tpoil my match in&Uibly (AjUt to 'em.

FUmi. VVeciTCnot, 'tis our bufiocfs. 10 fpoil matches.

Mtiip You need not, fix, I believe marrt 'd men are yout

be Cuftomers, for greedy Batdiellots take up'with their Wives.

Doa. Come, piay Ladies, if-you have'nobulincfshfre. be
plcas'd to redre, for few of at are in humoiii to be fo civil to
you, as you may delcTvc. -

MMf. Ay, prethee dear Jides get you gone.

Ftirt* We will not ftir.

Don. Who arc they, I lay, Fool, and why don't they go ?

Flom. We are, Sir—

MmC- Hold, tuld.
They aiepafcwis of honour and qoahty, and— —

FliTf. We ue no petlons of honour and quality, Sir, we
aie

Mtnf They are modeft Ladio, and being b a hind of iiC-
guife, will not own their quality.

Flewi. We modcft Ladies.'

Arbnf. Why ? foinetimes you are in the huitl<5ur to pafs fet
Women of honour ind quality ; prethee, dear Jades, let your
modefiy and greatneftcome upon you now. (4fiJt to *em.

Flirt. Come, Sir, not to delude you, as he wou'd have us,
Weare —

Mmf. Hold, hold

Flirt. Hw other night at the French Houfei ' . —

Monf, Hcdd,. Ifay, 'tis even true as GerrW fays, the Wo-
men will tell, I lee. .

KCowt. If .youwouM have het filent, ftop her mouth with
that ting. (t^ioff bit ringmdgivii it htr.

Muif Will that do% here, here

*Tis worth one hundred and My pounds i
Biit I muft notluTe my match,! mull not loft a Trout for aFly.
That men AkhiM live to hire Women to filcnce.

EHttr Gcrrard, Hippolita, I^ufon, andPtat.

Den. Oh, are you come agen/
(Drswi his Sword and runt st^aa, MonGeut holds bim.

Monf. Ch, hold, hold, Oncle *
What are you mad, Gerrard, to expo& yom ^ to a new
danger ? why wou'd you comC out yet ? . , - ,

. • . ■ I- ■■-■ ■^''~'*'8'x;.r.

33© the GmtlemM Diming-Mafitri

Gir, Bcaufc our danger now is over, I thank tTie PirfoQ
there. And now we mult beg {Ga. mJ Hipp, kjieel,

Menf. Nay, Faiih, Uncle, forgive him now, iince he asks
you forgivencis upon bis knees, and my poor CouEn (oo.

Hiff. You are miiUkcnj Coufin^ we ask him blrfliRg, and
you lorgivenels.

Monft How, how, how .'what do you talk of B'cfling ^ what
do you ask yout Father blctTing, and he ask vat focgivcncfe ^
But why fliou'd be ask nK rorgivcncfs i

Hiff. Becaufc he asks my Fathers blefling.

Mcnf. PlQigpiOl, I dont undernand^fou, I vowand&mar.

Hipp. The Paifon will expound to you, Coulin.

Monf. Hey .' wliat fay you to it, Parfon ?

Farf. They arc tnarryM Sir.

Manf. Miafdl

Cant. Marry'd .' fo I told you what 'iwou'd come to.

jyon. You told US " '

Mmf. Nav, fheis. fetting.up,(or the iqxitatlonof a Whcb.

T>im. Many'd, Juan, Saacbea, Vidro, arcD, arm, aio).

Cmm, a Witch, a Witch :

Hipp. Nay, indeed Father, now we are tnany'd you had
better call the Fiddlers i CaU'em Prw quickly. (Ex. Pnic.

Mvaf. VVho do you fay marry*d, Man ^

Ptrft V/as I not fent for on purpofe to marry 'em ? why
(hou'd you wonder at it ?

Moit/. No,i>o, you wacfomaiTytne,Man, toheiilknew
there was a midalcc in't Tome how ; you were mecily miftakcii,
.'thenffoieyou mult do your Bulinefs over again foi me aow:
The Parlbn was mittaken, Uncle, it ftcifts, h«, ha, hi.
. Caut- \ fuppofc live or iix Guinifs made him make the nu-
fbke, which wilt not be rci^ify'd now Nephew > they'll marry
all that come near 'em, and for aGuincy os two, care not
what mifchief they do, Nephew.

Don. Marry'd, Vtdro-, Stme&ez. ?

Mmf. How,andmuft(hc bchisWifethenforevciandcva^
have I held the door then for this like a Fool as I was?

Cttttt. Ycsj ind^d.

A/i)H/.Have IwornOolilia here for this ^ttleBiecches For tWs ?

Caia. Yes, truly.

Monf. And put on the Spanil^ hotwut witf^ the haUt, in 4q-

The Gentleman Di»rcing-MM/ler'. 3^1

fending my Rival > nay^ ttim I'll haveanotbn turn of honour
in Kvenge.Cotne} Uncle, I'm of your lulcnow,(a, fa, fa, but
let's flay fbt our force, Sanchez^ Juan^ Ptdrt, arm, arm, aim.

fiwer f iM BUcks, MdthiSfavmdfoliow'dbyPtDCiliSaxtiat
and five other GtntUmtn tike FiJJlrrt,

T>Mt Murder the Vitlain^lt him. ^Rtmnitig mS uptn Gcc

Mart. Hold,ho)d, Sir.

Dm. HownoW} who fait for you, Friends?

Mart, WeFiddieiSjSirfbftencomcunrcntfor.

Dm* And you vc often kick'd down flajts for't too.

Mart. N<!i, Sir> our Company was never kick'd 1 think.

Dem. Fiddlers, and not kick'd ? then to pit&iTe yoor Virgin
honour, get you down flairs quickly i for we ate not at prefcnt
diQx»'d much for mirth, roto. 1

Mtnf. fttfiag. A pox jis it yoa,]s it yon, A/^rrfyn^ nay, Un-
cle, then tis in vain i foi they won't be kick'd do^n flairs, to
my knowledge. They aTcXjcntlemcn-Fiddlcrs^birooth,! pox on
all Geiitlemcn-Fiddlersand Gentlemen Dancing- maflcrs%l..

Don. How ! ha. ( Paiifirg.

Motif. Well, Flirty ncm I atn a Match for thee, nowlmay
keep you, and there's little cKJference betwixt keeping a Wcndi
ancf Manlage, only Mairiage b 3 little the dicaper > but theo-
ther is the more honouiabJe now, vtrt & blot, nay now I
may fwear a Frtneb Oath too. Come, come, I am thine, let
us ffaike up the Bargain, thine according to the honouraUelo-
tlihition ot Keepine, come.

Flirt. Nay hold. Sir, two Words to the Bargab,. firtt I
have ne'er a Lawyer here to draw Aitklesand Settlements.

Mmf, How / is the Weald come to that f a Man cannot
keep a Wench* without Aitklcs and Settlements, nay then 'tis
c'cn as bad as Marriage indecd,and there's no difference betwixt
a Wife-and a Wench.

- flirt. Only in CohabitatU)n, for the firfl Article {hall be
againfl Cohabitation -, we ktiflidlcs fuAci no Cohabitation.
Mnf, Nor Wives ncitho now..

Flitt. Then fcparate Maintoian^e, in cafe you Qiou'd take a
Wife, or I a new Fiimd.

Mmf. -How .' that too } thai you arc every whit as bad as a
Wife.

Flirt. Then my H »i{c in Town, u J yours in the Country,
if y&U will, "■ Monf.

33 S 7^ GeufkmtM DMciug-H^:,

Manf. A men: Wtfe.

FiV*. Thoi myCoadi ^pait, as well my Bed apsut.
Monf AsM as a Wife (iiO.
. Flirt, Ba'c take notice L.»ill han: no Jb'aIe>diity,lanocl-
band Chaiiot new foibiOi'd, imt a large, fodabje, weH poioted
Coach, t\oi will I keep k oil it be as welt bnOwn as siy icif,
and it come to be call'd f /(>» Coach i nor wiD I have fuch piti-
ful Hoifes as cannot cany me eveiynight to the far\-^ tot I
will not mils a ni^t in the Vatk, I'd have you to knotw.

Mo>f. '*Tis v«jr wdl, yoUmuft haw your gitat,^t, fine,
piirttcd Coaches, rmfiirexhcy ate grown fo commoa alicidf
amongfl you, that Ladies of Qualicy b^in to take up with
Hackneys agcn, Jarnic v but what t\it ? \

Flirt. Then, that you do not think I will be fet,vy by a little
dirty Boy in a Bonnet, but a couple oi handfonij lulty, cleanly
Footmen, lit Co (esve Ladies (^ Q»lity, and do their boHnck
asthey fhou'd do.

Men/. What then? ; '

. Flirt. Then, that you nevtr grow jealous of dieab ,
Monf, Why will you nuke ib mudi of tfacm^
Flirt. I delight to be kind to niy Snvants. '
Afjnf. Well, is this all?

Flirt. Nothen, that when yoa come to my Houft, yoa ne-
ver prcfuttie to' touch a Key, lilt up a Ludi, txc tbruft a Door
wtthout knoc^iig bci^ie handi and that yoa ask no quefiknts,
if you fee a fliay Piece of Plate, Cabinet, or Lookin^-glafi in
my Houft. ' . . ' .

Mefif.-lji&i Wife iBCTeiy thing i but what elfc?
Flirt. Then, that you take no acquaintantx with me abroad,
nor bring me home any when yoa are diunk. Whom yiHi will
not be willbg to fee there, wben yoa ate fi^xt: .

Aftur/T but what allowance ? Ict'sconKtotbenuiabus'iK^
the money." ■ i

Flirt4 Stay,' kt nM think, firfiifor adranc&mQDcy live buif
dred pounds for Pins.
Monf. A «iy Wife

flirt. Then you muft take the Leaie </iny Hottfe, and fiir-
nifh it as becomes -one of my Quality i for don't, yoa think
we'll take up with ^our old Queen Elizabeth furnituie, as
your Wive* do. ,

ThaGiatkmmBtmdng'MaJiirl j^x

Monf, Indeed there Ibe is leaA like 3 Wi&, ziUxkp.
Flirt. Then, for Houfe-kecping, ScrTant wagrs, CUathSy
and the reft, Dl be contented with a Thouland pounds x year
prcftnt maintenance, and but three hundred pounds ayeat fepa-
tate maintenance for tny lite, when our Love grows cold > but
I am contented with a thoufand pounds a year, bccaufefot Pen-
dants, Neck-laces, and a!lforts of Jewels, and fuch Trifles, my
and feme Ptitc,I willlhift mylclf as I can, trukcflbifts, whicb
you {hall not tike any notice of.

Aiiw/". A thoufand pounds a year! what will Wenching comei
to } ume was,' a Man might liavc fared as well at a mud«
cheaper rate ) anda l^d^ of onesaffedions,inflead'ofaH(Mi&„
wou'diiaTe bcenctintentedwith a little Qumber three pale
of Suirs backward, with a little Clofet os Ladder to't ; «nd jn*
ftead of variety of new .Gowns, and rich Pettico&ts, witli
her [%(babitiee or Flamecolbur Gbwn called SnUaitt and Slip-
pers of the fame, wou'd have been ccxitnited fin: a twelve
rnonth : And iniiead of Vifits and gaddingtto PJajfS, wou'd Iwve
enferrain'd her felf at home with' St. Gurge for England, the
Knight of the San, or the Pradicc ofPict^ ; and inftead of
fending her Wine and Meat froni the French houfes, wouM
have bMn contented, if you had ^ven her f poor WictchJ but
credit at the next Chandlers and CheckcrM CcUir ; and then
inilcid of a Coach, wou'd have been well fatisfi'd to have gomr
out antl taken the Ait for three or four hours in the Evening in
the Balcony, poor Soul. Well, Flirt, however we'll agree >
*cis but three hundred pounds a year feparate mabtcnance,you
fay, when I im \^vary of thee and the Charge.

Dm. Rob'd of my Honour, my Daughter, and my Revenge
too.' Oh my dear Honour .' nothing vexes me, but that the
World (hould itf, I had not SpaniQi Policy enough to keep
my Daughter' from ^iftg dcbauch'd from me i but mcthinl'is
my Spiiiifh Policy might help tm yet: I have it fo— I wiJl
, cheat 'em alii for I will declare I undcrftobd the whole Plot '
and Ccntrivaricc, and CDnniv'd at it, tiiiding my CouEii a Fool >
and not anfwering my expei^ation. WelU but then'ifl ap-
prove of the Match, IraurtgivethisMock-Dancing-mallcr my
Eftace, efpecially fince half he wou'd have in right of my
Daughter, 'and in fpight of me. Well, I am rcfolv'd to turn
the Cheat upoij thtmfclvcs, «nd give them my Confcnt and
Bliafc. Mexf,

334 '^^ GenthviM Dattcing-Mafier.

Mmf, Come, come, ncVr be ttoublV, Uncle, 'twas a
Combination, you Ice, of all ihefc Heads andyour OaughtctS)
you know what I mean. Uncle, not to be thwartol or gOTer*
lud hy all the Spanifh Policy in CbrifiaiJam, I'm fine mf
French Policy wou'd not have govcrn'd ho: ; (a Iukc I have
Icap'd her, 1 am glad I have Icap'd her, Jatnie.

C4Ht. Come, Brother, you arc wifcr than I, you^fce, ay, ay,

Don. No, you think you are wifer than I now, ineamcft;
but know, while I was thought a Gull, I gull'd ycu aU, and
znadc ttuin and you think I knew nothing of the Contrivance,
Confels, did not you think verily, that I knew nothing of it,
end that I wasaGulP

Ctut. Yes indeed, Brother, I did thbk verily you mat a
Gull.

Hiff. How's this > (L^mng.

Dm. Alas, alas, all the fputtcr I made was but to tnlke this
Young.man, my Coulin, believe, when thethmgDiou'd be cf-
frded, that it was not with my connivance or confent ; but
fince he is fo well fatisfi'd, I own it. For do you think I
wou'd tver hawc fuffer'd het to marry a A/ow^ow, a Afcwy&w
Cuarda, Belides, it had been but abeaflly iucclhious kind of
a Match, voto—

Caut. Nay, then I fee, Brother, you were wifa than I
indeed.

Gtr, So, \o. (/JUt.

Caia. Nay, Young-man, you have danc'd a fair \hnct fer
youifelf royally ,and now you may go jig it togethn till you aie
[)Oth weary i and though you were lo eager to have him,
Mrs, Mmx, you'll foon have your belly-full ^ him, let acttH
you, MiHreTs.

Frut. Hih, ha.

Mmf. How, Uncle! what was*t you faid > Nay If I bad
your Spsni^ Policy againll roc, it was no wonder I mi&M of
my aim, mon foy.

Don. I was refolvM too, my Daughter (houM not marry a
Coward, therefore made the more adototryyou,Sir,butIfind
you ate a bosk Min of Honour, firm, AifT, Spanlfli Honour,
and tlut you may fee I deaiv'd you all a long, and you nol me \
ay, and am able to deceive you liill s for 1 kuoff now you think
thic I will give you littk oi nolhinj| with my Daughter (like

otba

T%e Geiitkm*n Dancing-Mtifier. j 9 5

other Fathos^liiice you have marry'd hex without my conftni >
but, I fay, 111 deceive you now, foi you (hall have the moft
pait d my Eftace in prefent, and the rcfl at my Death v (here's
for you, I think. I have decciv'd you now, look you.

Ger. No, indeed. Sir, ycHihavcnot;dccciv*d me> fori never
fufpedlcd your Love to your Daughter, nor youi Gcncror^y.

Don. How, Sir .' have a care of faying I have not deceivM
you, left I decave you another way > guarda— pray, Gen-
tlemen, do not think any Man cou'd decdvc me, look you i
that any Man could fleal my Dau^ter k>ok yew, without my
Cpmdvaocc.

Tbt left me ffuk^ the mare aw tbidt^
And he feet m^t tbstfermi to vmtl^
Hiff. So, fo, now I cou'd give you my bleflSog, Father, now
you are a good complalfant Fatha, itideed.

,Wbtn Children Phirry^ Parrntt piou^d ebey, '
Since Love eUims mwt Ohtditnce far tbanlhey. (Extunf
{Omnet.

Epi-

;,■ Google

EPILOG U E.

Spoken by Flirt.

rHB Ladieijirfi I am to Compliment^ 1

Whom (if he cou'd) the Poet wou'd Qnteni, t

E[ut to their Pleafure then they mufl Confent^ J .

Moftf poll their Sport fiill by their Modefiyy -j

^nd when they jbOud be pleas' d^ cry out^ fit^ C

^nd the leafl fmooty Jefi mil ne'er pafs by. j

But City Damfel ne'er had Confidei-cty "%

jit fmooty Play to take the leafi Offeme, ■ C

But Mercy PttBSf to Jhero her Innocence, J

Tet lefithe Merchants Daughters ^u* J to Day
Be fcandalix.'d, not at our harmiefs Play j j

But our HIppoIita, fintefiie'slike one '

Of tu bold MirtSy of t'other end o\th'Tojp»-^

Our Poet fending to you (though unknovm)

His. btfi RefptHs by /»f , do's frankly own

TTie Charaaer to be unnatural ;

Hippolita is nut like you at all;

Teuy while your Lovers court youy fiiSlook grum^

;Aad far from wooing, whentheyvooy crymum'^

jind if fome of you, e'er were fiol'n away^

Tour Portion's fault 'tnas only I dare fay :

Thus much for him the Poet bid me fpeak,

No3^ to the Men^ I my own Mind will break \

Teu good Men o'th' Exchange, on whom alone

IVe mufi depend, when Sparks to Sea are gone %

Into the Pit already you are. come, ^ ^

*Tis but afiep.more to our Tyring-Room ;

Where none of us hut mill be wondrous fweet

Vponan ai/cZ-o^'co/Lumber-ftreet:

loa we had rather fee between our Scenes^

Than fpend-thrift Fops with better Cloaths and Meens ?

Infiead of Lai^dCoats^ Btlts^ and PantalhonSy

Yourf^elvit-Ju'mpsy Gold-Chains^ and grave Btr-GownSf

Infiead of Perriwigs, and broad cock'd Hats,

lour Sattain-Capt, fmall Cuffs, and vafi CrevOts \

For you are fair andfquare in i^your Dealings.^

Tou never cheat your Doxies with gilt Shillings ;

Tou ne'er will break our Windows^ thenyou are

Fit to make Love, while our Houz^as make Wary

And find all Gentlemen mufl pack toSea,

Our Gallants, and our Judges you mufl Be j

We therefore,- and our Poet, do Submit

To all the Chamlet-Cloaks now i'the Pit, tort

I^oU in a Wood :

O R,

i> JAMES's-PARK.

A

COMEDY.

As it is Afted
B V

Her Majefty's Servants.

Written by Mr. Wycherky.

^^—^Excluttit fariot Helicffne peetai
DemotriltUi Hocac

LONDON, Printed foe Rid. ireSi,tp«« , at
the Dolphin and Crojvn at the Weft End of
Su PiU^S-Chitrcii-Tard, I712.

;,C.oogli:

To Het Grace the Dutchefs of

CLEAVEtANg.

MADAM,

AL I* JiMboTt whdtevtr h thtlr DiMesticn 4rt Poets *
imtl ammui to ffnttto » iMyt VtbofiiuidiM lit-
tle m aud of Flattirjft 4s her Beauty of Art \
etberwifit Ifi>o»d ffove still a foet tober inmy
S}e4ieatitmt Ms to mj lUtUer m my Hay i I cdM do your Grace
*o iimmr!, nor Make youMore Adsmrerttbdtiyomhmie alrtsdyi
fUlfMdotiyftlftbebeitimrtoltttheWorUkMWf lamtit
pieM^ymhm ; jiouiiriJlFgrJa».met Mad«m firjm ^Mar,
tit vert iarj for a new Author, and Poet too^ to govern bit
Aiuhilum i for PMfi, let them ft^i in the World never fo Mucb,
for mod^i homfi Mm, but btvin frsife to others., which ton'
elMdisiMthtmfemti sad sireliie Raokij wbeUndVecpie AU'
H^tbrnttfiWiiiitisei/^Mii, tBdfoU£»e.tbemindtbtto*emfor
luthiMiibtgriffer Laurel Md laeet^eto their Hero's^ vtartt
tiemfebfMt, emd fafitm themfelvu. this it true. Madam,
*fen the bm^^ vmd tfa)i Aatbom, vtht ntver ftt writ Dedi-
%atim ■ yet thM§h lemmet iye Ukf them, lamas vain at tbey,
aadcatmet hut foUiciiy give your Graee my bnmUe aehjuwm
le4piiMtj ^ the SavMTs J boPe received fromyou! This, Jfay,
ijAe.PaaHGtatitMde,w^hittflainEagti^, n wi/y Piide «>ii^
Ambition * and that the World tmgbt imwyeur Grace did me
■the Honour ffet my Rayiuw< toother \ yet frrhafs wj Enviert
ffyooT Faroonr will ftsff/t^ ^twat in LoKj md therefore for
your Mortification i tben^ as a jtaUat Antbor, I am concem'd
not to have yonr Graces Favonrs kjfttfd, or rather my SepntO'
tion t and to let tbtm tmtfy yon were aleas'd, after tbat^ ta
cemmamd a Cofjfrommeofthu FJay i ioe way Tvithomt Btaaty
and Wit, to win « jeor toot's Heart. 'Tit afign yoar Graee
nnderjfands notbuig better, than obliging all the World, -^ttr
the htfi and mtfi frof^ mamur \ But, Mdam, to be ehligi/^ to
that txetft as yon-are^Pardm me, ifltellyen^ ^mj ttttrtam
eonetm, and ftrvice for your Grace) itadai^enMi^tulity,and

The Epifite Dedieaory.
' maj 'ievery trntrnmoji to yai\ for CivUitf mJut Tottt «
tr*ulm/^i, at Cilrritj ittakti Btfrgdri i and jreur Grace ivU
be ht'tafter as muckf^tr^^ ■fitbfieb fettrvy Offrriagi at tUtj
Poemtf Pantgyruki^ and ibe like, at ym are notp wtth Petti-
our; And^ Madam, tahitfnmm^, mo M^ v/Ub Pafers im*t
Hand, it mere dreadfal tban a Peety ne, net a Lawyer vitjit bis
Declarationri yimr Grace J»e did tiefweUeeHfiJer what je dtJ,
in fending ftr my Play ; yw^ttU tha^bt I miaU bave had tbt
Cot^Sdenee to fend yek a Vedkatim too : Bnty Madam, jfMjW
I am at ttnreafonaltle, and bave at little Cmfeienett dt if I
bad driven tbe Psetiel Trade longer tban I bave, and ne*er em-
Jider fan bad enough ef the Play; bnt ( having fnfer'd now fi
jeverely) Ibefeecb your Grace, hmiea care ftr tbe fiitmre^ tidtf
myCeitnfet, md be {,tf jou can p»J^le) at promdt andill-nar
inr^d at »ber'Peofle of Qndi^, Jtneeymr i^nitt isfotmueb
emcem*dt and fmee yen ha've more reafm tbM ai^ t» valm
jenr felf ; farym bave that ferft&im ef Beauty (witbnnt tfnnk-
ingitfe) wbKh othert of yonr Sex but think they bave i that
Genemfity in your A3iont, wbicb otbert t^ jour Sjfii'y bave
only in their Promifet ; that Sfhity IVit and Judjrment^ and
all ether i^malifictttieni which fa Heroes to Command^ anJ would
■ make any but your Grade Proud. I htgin ma>, elevated hj
my Subji^, to write vhii tbe ^Mion and Fury of a Poet >
yet the htUpity tf an Hifiorian i and J con' d never be we^
ry, n'ay-^ jure tbii were' my enly way, to makg my Readtrt
never wtary too, though they wefe a ' more' imfatiem Ge*
ner alien of People than tbej are. In fme, fpe^(fi^tbni of
your Gracci I Pmu'd fleaje all tbe World but ym ; therefore
I mufl once obferve, and obey yon againfi my ffilly and ft^ m
more, than that J«w,

MADAM.,
' Your trace's

Moll obKgedj and iDoft

humUe Servant,

WilliktiiWjcierh.

P ROLO G U E.

e'^tm^ wbieh Ms the Tbufftom Cart Hara>igue,
43 tbo^e that come to matt md fee bim bangy
WtUt the dtmrnd Vott (tboi^b he kmwt be'sgme)
1^9 gfett jou, e*tr bit Extemivn.

Net tmtm^fetr of Crittek 'fnrt his Eyw,
Bm fiill rej<:^iiig wbolfome^ good advicf i
Htimiteoau toft^trhere to d^^
Ftfr tffftfterftituw (aijM judge) a Flay,
ff'bkb it tgunfArtMi Phcebts iMhe^ treafout
T>amn*d iCmiiftg Judgtf-, tberifore you bave reafmi .
Toubedo*t'mtM, who fpr the filffamf faulty
That iaiHrmigTtii>ilege'ofyourt have bought ;
So the huge BMkertivhenthey mtds mufi fatly
Send ibijmall Brothir'i ef their trade to Gial i
Wbi}0 tbty by breaktng Gentlemen^ are madty
"Ihentiure than gwf; ■/torn fformeno'tif. trade i
ToMbsrJetfd RtitegttdoPattt, who , ■'

Treat KbimingPettttWorftthanTurkxHintd do y ■

But hieiit your H^atbtnijh ragit bakg^drav, mtd^umttTt
fiti 'M^e wilt die to day a fieering Murtyr ;
Siliiifgrhditfdjefi; Mi Lihtl, or LamfoeM,
There are tt'btft^tr>F'e*fetutiM,

miifbemdAumdbffikmfiof Suffmy-

Jnlfiria Prafejfivs.live of Railleryy :

VefyingPortert Lodgih fr Piilnry :. .. .

par tbofe who yet ''fvriie enoia- P^V/Jfr*

SImtldajCo-fufereficomjHiferatii;'

But 6i'in-vm iteir^ity n«n> voudvravty
, Who for tbetafeivi* \ atai) no f'uy-bave, ■

And thfBC^jm-gdfpingvrtdit wUintfave i

jt"dtbofiy,iMMthfefti.eufCrminalw<.a^dffarey -• .

Ifho neer in Rhime itanfgrefi, (iffueh there are).

fmiibety ivbo'^noihagbep4iy medi nothing fear;

And hey btfvtyeifr cruel. t^/fet ^all.do jr, ;

By bitkj(airi detlms hmfeifno Fott,

Djtqialis Petf o6». '

R. Han. Mr. Ranger, •%
Mr. Be//. Mr. , Kmcem, iYoung Srtithman
imafloii. Mr. VakMimy of the iTovm.

AMermao G«];w,feemMigIy precile,

-but a covetous keberous^ old

, Ufutei of the City.

Sir Stmm AtUi^tUt, a CooBcotnb,

dwaysin Patfuitof Wsmen of

. great Fottan'ei

Mt. Dafptrmii, abtisk, cooceiied,

half-witteJFellqw of the Town.

WOMB 7t

Ctetftinu, Filaniu'sMmtels.

Ljdii, 2Ei«fr's Miftrcfs.

My tidyflif'paki, Grife'/SiSa,
aii cffeac^ Widow in diftrefs fat
9 U\>!,banA,xiim^i\ fiillcleclaim-
ing againilMatniage.

Mrs. MtrtlUi<IHft'3 Daagfacir.

Mrs^ JijfSec, a Matdh'-mSer, «
j)):ecire City Bawd.

tAcs.Cro/ihit^, an bW cheating Jilt,
apd Bawd to H« Daughter.

Mrs. X««, her Daughter. >

■■ IbM, CkMinrr's Wsms.

Lmnert, SamKtoLfdii.

Mr.Xj

Mr. Litcj,

Ut. WiMcrfiU.

Mr. Mehm.

Mrs. BfflXeA
Mrs^Beit^Cfix.
Mrs. Kaef/i

Mrs. FArlewe,
Mrs. Cif/.

Mrs. fisfftr.

Mrs. Brt<; Ji«/(.
Mrs. lames.
Mrs. CartTtigh$.

CrcfibUts. Landlord, and h(s Prentice^ Ser-
vants, Waiters, other Attendants.

TheScme LONDON.

LOTC

C?4}3

ICoDe in a IBooti:

O R,

Sf- JAMBS's-PARK.

Tlif'

ac;t I. scEN E I.

Gripe's Houfe in the Evening.

«

tnur m Uiy Flippant, Mri. Joyrar.

N'OT aHuslwidtobchaafoE pUDcy.
Come, come, I might liave bten a bctttf
Houft-Wife ix my ftlf (as thf WmH gpts
now,; if I had dealt foi an Heii with his
Guardian, Uncle, or Mothei-in-law ■ and you aie no betle.
than a Choule, a Cheat,
7oy». 1 a Cheat, Ma<^^In.
Fifc lamoutofmyMoneyandmyPatienatoo,
7,S. Donolr»noMofyou.PatiencewhateTeijpu<|<v
!Tis a neceflary wtnie fot a WUow wtthout

* SweWolm;!, thoo^ w Boitime be fomethin^
Wafted, my Peifon'a to gnod KI«it: , „ . ,
U 1 Snotdependedon ,00, I ''ihadaH,^
^o« this tune i when 1 save you the hft fiJ? Pounds,

X4 L Cou';S^'

344 ^** "* ii WWj Or,

Joyn. And had kept m. Piomire if vou had Coqjcntttl.

flie. Cooperated, what fhou'd I have done ?
*Tis well knomm no Woman bnathlng cpiild u(c more^
Indultiy to get hei a Husband than I have ;
Has not my Husbajid's Scutcheon walk'd as much gtound
As theCitHKas-Signs fince thcFitr, ; f^
Thsc lio qi^artei of the Town might be tgnofmC -
Of the Widow Flippant.

Joyn. 'Tis well known. Madam, indeed.

Fhp. Have I not own'd mv fetf (agairft my
Stomach) the ReliA of a Citizen to aedit my Fottune?

Jopi. 'Tisconfeft, Madtm. ■ .' ■,'

Flip: Have I not conftantly kept CevtHt-GsrJin-Chmdi,
St. Aijr(in*s, the Piay-Houfcs, Hidt-Tark., Mttllttrry-Csrtltat
and a]t othei the Ptiblick Mms wtitn Widows and Maids aic
expos'd ?

y»yn. Fat be it fiom me tqi;hink yciu fa^ve an
Aveilion to a Husband ;
But why Madam have you refai'd fo many Good O^ecs ?

Flip. Good Offers, JAts-Joyver, V\] befwom
I never had an Otter lince my late Husband's ; if 1 had^ Offer,
Mrs. Joyner i thcrt's the thing, Mrs. Joytitr.

Joyn. Then your ftcquent, and publick deteftation t^
Marriage, is thought r«l> ■

And if you have had no Offer, there's the thing, Madam.

Flif-' I cannot deny, biit I always rail again^ Muriage,
Which is' the:WidoWs way to it certdnly, ^

J(^n. 'ris the defperate way of the dtfperate
Widows in truly. ■' . ' ■ ■■ -

Flif. WouM you have us as tradable as-tht Wenches riut
eat Oatmeal) and fool'd li^c tbem too. -
■ Jojn. ifiiobody were wifer than I, I fhould think, Gnceiibe
Widow wants the naiur'al aUuthTKut whn:h the Vii^n has, you
ought to give men all other incouiagemcnts in truly.

Flip, Theieforc on the contrary, becaufe the Widow's For-
tune (whether fuppos'd or r«!' is her" chiefcti Bait, /the ttiore
chary Ibe /eems of it, and the more (he withdraws it, the
more eagerly tlie bntic gaping fry will bite; with us W-idows
Husband are got like Sifhopricks, by faying no* nidlt^you,
a young Heir is as (hie of a Widow, as cf a Rook, to my know-

3c. James*/-i>4rJ^ 34^

Jvpt, 1 can alledge nodiing agiina four pndkc,
But your ill fiKoefe; and ifldecd you mult u&
Another Method vrith Sir 5mm» MiUfUt,

Flif. Will he be at your Houle at the hour >

Jcjfn. Bell be there by ten, *tis now nine :
I warrant you he will not fail* . , -

Flif. ni wamnt you then I will not fail,
For 'iB more than time I were fped.

Jpyn* Mr. Dd^fmifii has not been too bulic with you, I
hope, your experience has taught you to prevent a ntilchancc.

^if. No, no, my mifchance, fas you all it . is grcatti than
that i I have but three Months toiecIuMi, e'rc I l>e down whh
my Poitand Eauip^i ^and mull be dcliveicd of a Wumm,
a Foot-man ana a Crach-man : For my Coadimulldown, un>
kls I can g^ $ix Simm to draw with me.

JtyH. He will pair with you exadly if know all. (AjiJe.

Flif. fi\ Mss.Joytury nothing grieves me like the putting
down my Coach i n» the Bnc Cloaths, the hne Lodginei ; let
*cm go ; for a Lodging is as unnecclTary a thing to a Widow
that has a Coach, as a Hat to a Man that has a good Petuque>
fo as you &e ahout Town (he is mol^ piopetly at home in her
Coach * (hecats, and diinks, and flceps in het Coachi and
lor her Viiits (be receives them in the PUy-hou&. ,

Joyn. Ay, a/, let the Men keep Lpdgings
(Asyou fay. Madam) if they will. '.

CGnpe, and Sir Simon ^dlcplpt feSoif/iag, fim tn bi
MM-iinbtH^tefsCktk^stentdeer^ andMrt. Mar-.
t\a ta tbi ubtr, , '

Fliff. Do ^vou .think if thit^.had been with me as they
have been, I woHldevqrhavcheus'd. with this Countcr-falhion
Bibihei c^ min^ '(who hates a, Veilas much as a Su<'pUce) to
hive mv Patcbcsanauttcdcyery'Dajio at Dinoqimy Fucdom
ccnfuicd, and my Vilitants fliut out of Doors ; poor Mi. D«f-
ftTivit cannot be admitted.

Jtf^v; He^nows him toowcll to (teep his
Acquaintance.

Fkf. HeisafiofCNriou^ngid^p, i^id knoWrnothii^g.
Grift. So,fo-. — ^-x iBtiinJ.

77fl. Isheh;i-> . , (^jSJft

To aay Lsdj Fllp.^ Kay with your Fatten, Madatii} I mUii

]^5 Loveitt aWofd^ Off

contradid you then. He u a prying Common-wtaliI»nMn,
an implacable Magiltrate, a (hit^Pfttai of hie Gaufcy and—- ■■
But ohmeisyour WrarDHpfi>Aelr then} tflbtd (T^Gtipc,
Thought you bcud mc. ■ " —' ~

Griftt Why, why, Kfrs. jvfinr^
Ihavefaid asmuchoTmylclf e'er now, ■ _- .
And mthout vanity, I fioftfc.'

^mi. I knowyour ViittwiS[»oofa0iinftVatn>glary;
Bijt the truth to your Face, tooks like flattery in your
Worihip's Strvant.

Grift. No. no, fay what yoa will of itic In ^t kind.
Far be h ftom me to fiifpcA you of ftmciy*

^ffyw. In truly yottt Worthip knows your felf,
And kuowsmr, for I aoinonecfthofe- — f ■

fiif. Now they are in

Mrs. Jgyiier,\1] go before W youi Houfc, (JfiA^

You'ii be furc to come afterme. , (Extt Fl^panc

j^ff. Immediately i but as I waslayin^

lam noncoflhofe ;.

Gripe. No, Mrs. ftpur, yon annot few Pfllowf
Under Folks Elbows s you cannot bcM a Candle to the DcvO i
Y6a cannot tickle a Tiout to take him, yog— . ' ..■■■ —

Jajfti- Lord how well yoa do know ok indeed ;
Am yoii Oiall lee I know your Worihlp as wpHj .
You cannot backflide from yotit Principles ; ' '
You cannorbe terrlfyM by the Laws,
Nor brib'dto AII^UKC by Ofioe, ot PiffcrmenC;

You .

Griftt Hold, hold, my praHe mull not intorupt yours.'
' Jayit. With your V Vorflilp's Pardon, (In tru^> I amti cnnv
Grift. lam^llof yOBT pnife, and.lt Will run OvOi
JoyM. N^fweet Sir, -you are-— ^ '

Gripe. Nay.fweetMis. yo^er, you arc— ■ ■
J^n^ Nay, good your WorCbip,- you are— —

CStopt her mmb mttbhs Hmikerci^f^
Gr/ffc I fay you.aie- . »
jfofw. I muft notbe ludewitb your WoiMp.'
Griper You arc aNurdng Mother tq the Saints,
Through you they gather together ;
Through jou they budi^ and riiaeafei nd through. you

The Child CBM out of ihc ihni-htisktt

■ J'^3^ Through you Vti^ns are manr'd or ptorided
For as well > ihroi^ you die Rxpiotxtte'q Wife

IS made a S^ '•> mu) duotigh yoa the Widow is not
Di&onfoUte, nor inilfes her Husband.

Gri^» Through you — ■

Joyn, Indeed you will put me to the bluflb'
. Grtte* Bluflusue badges of Impcrfedion,
Saints nave no Unmc : you arc, are the flower of
MatKonsMtt. Jtjrner.

■ j^«y«k You att the Pink of courteous Aldenncn.
. Gript. You are the Muffler of Secrecy. '

Jeyn. Yau are the Hcad'band of of Jultice.

Qri^. Thvrk youfwcctMrs. Jtyner, doydrittunk

So indeed ^ you are

YouarctheBonefiTct^pevMioib ' '

Joyn. You are the Bellows of Zeal. •- < "

■ Crife. You ire the Cnp-bOaid of Charity.

. 3'«y"'- You are the Fob of Liberality. ■ »

Grife. You are the Rivet of &ndifyM Lovtf or W^lock.

j^oywi YdU'ue the Picklock and Dark- lanthotn of Policy.
And in a word, a Conventicle of Virtues.

Grife. Your fcrvant, your iicrvant, fweet Ma, Joyner,
Yuu have ft(^t my mcuth. ' -

. Jiyn, Yourfervantj your' fcrvant fweet Aklfrmin, , '
I have nothing to lay.

Sir Sim. Tlie half Pullet will be cold, Sir.

Gripi. Mrs. Jojmr you fliall Stip with me.

To^v. Indeed 1 am cngogM toSilf^jei ifrith fbme

fyoui Man's Friends > and I ciitie on puipofe
To giet leave for him too. - '.

Grift, I cannot deny yoo any thit^^ butlhavefbieotto
tell you what a kind of FeUonvmy Sifter's ■Z>if/ip»ni'if it i be-
fore a full Table of the Cofiee-HoiUe St^tt, he had t^c Itnpu-
dence to h<^ an Argument ag^ft me in the'de&nce of Vefts
and Prote^ons i and tbertfoit I forUd himny Hotife ; belidcs',
when he came, 1 w«s forc'd to lock up rity d^i%hter for'
fear of him, nay, I thii^ the ^oot ChiUbct felf«asafrud oi*
him: Coiiae hiriKr
ChHd^ iitM<imtiAl&uAvi'IiaffemHi - -' ' ■''

' Msrth

Jojn.
Otyoui

34^ Lave in dWood^Or^

Martha^ Yes indeed. Sir, heisk tnrible MaoJ
Yet Idurftmeet with himinaPitzzoat Midni^L. - £^filft

Grift. He (hall nevci come into my dooisagm.

Martha. ShaU Ifit. Dapptrwitaetet cone hitha ageun dm }

Gripe. No, Child.

Martha. I am afraid he wiH -

Grife. I warrant thee.

Martha, I warrant you theni'll goto hlfo. C-^fi^-

I am glad of that, for I hate bin) as much as BtJiiops.

Gripe. Thou ait no Child of mine, if thou doA not hate
BiOiops and y/its , Well, Mrs J&fnttt I'll ^W^ you riolfwga.
Jnai, wait On Mrs. Joyner,

^^oTfin-. Good night to T out VVotlhip.

Gripe. But ftay, ftav, Mrs. Jvyter-, have you fpoken with
the VVidow Cmftbitt about her little Daughtn, as I defired i

Jojn. I will to tnoiiow early, it fh^ll be the lifil chiogl'n
^afta my Prayers.

Gript. It PdfMrtMf IbouldcontdmlnatehcT'-IcaBnot rrAtilQ
I have redeemed tici from the Ja wis , of that L voa. gixxl nq$hc

Jpjrs. Good, Gentleman. . (Smmh Gripe oii Maitba.

Msntnt Sir ^mon' Addlcplot and Joyoci* .

Sir Sim. Ha, ha, na, lAtf.J^mr^ '

Jejv. VVh»t^sthe ipatter«.£# Simm.

Sir Sim, Ha, ha, ha, ktus make haft to your

Houfr, ot^l^llyitfiFiti^hand Jiothtofee what Took ,.ou
and I make of thefe People.

Jajn. 1 will not rob you of any of the aedit, I am but a &e-
I>k InlUument, ypu.arcan EngiQeer.

Sir Sim ELonember what vom ^y^iiow when things fuccccd,
and do not tell mcitfcn, ,1 muD tltuik yput Wit foi; all

y^yn. No in truly, Sir Simon. m . ■. ■

. Sir Sim, Ihj Vj^ (ate. Difpff raff it^ aai I have been Partners
in ma)iy anJ^.tligMr. juid he.j^.<Qifn«C mcfo. .
. Jopt. i^fl is in ill Man to.In^in will), ajTOUcall it.
, Sir Sirti., I4 foareall yourWifs i .a^Pox, if a Ndan*s under-
Handing be nfttfopublick x^rttujift.he cannot doa wile adtbn
but. they gp away with the hpnqtii; of it, if be be of thcit Ac-
quaintance. . . , - : ■ I

Jajn. Whydoyqukccpfuch Acquaintanceiihin ?

SirSim. ThetcisaiVpvnb,,,Mrf. j^rr, Ymiwy know
him by-his Company. J^"'

Sr. |ames'/-P«-4. 34^

JfffU NTo, no, to be iboughta Man of parts, youawftab
ways ktcpCompany witha Man oflds wit than your ielf.

Str Stm That's the haideft thing in the Woild for me to
do. Faith and Troth.

Jpyt. What, totindaMinofklsWitthui youi felf?
Pardon (tty Raillcr> , Sir Sim^. '

Sir Sim No, no, I cannot knp Company with a Fool, I
wonder how Men of parts can do i, there's fomething in'c.

ytyn. If you cou'd, all your wife atSionj wou'd be youi
own, and your Money wou'd be your own toa

Str Stm. Nav, Faith and Troth that's true > for your Wits
arc phgutl , givtn to borrow ^ they'l borrow of their Wench,
O^ach-man or Link-boy thciihirc. Mxs,yojiurf Dtpferwa
has chat trick with a vengeance.

yoyn. Why will you keep Company with him dim, I fay^
fox to be plain with you, you have jR>Uowtd. him (o king* that
you are thought but his Cullej> ; for every Wit has hisCuUcy,-
as evny Sqiiii c his lead Captaini

sir Stm. 1 his CuDey, I his CuUcy, Mrs. Jajntri
Lord that I (bouM be thought a Cullcy to any Wit breathing.

yopi. Niy, do not take it lb to heart, forthebcftWiis
OtthcTnwn, are but C^ullics EJMttifclvcj;.

Sir Sim. To whom, to whom, to whom. Mis. ytjmer ?
yyn. To Semlireffes, and BaWds,
Sir Sim. To your knowledge, Mrs. Jepitr,
There I w is with her.

yoyn. To Taylors and Vindicr^ but efpcclally to the frMci
Houfa.

Sir Sim* But 7>appen»it is a Culley to none of them ; foe
he ticks.

Jojn. I cup not, but I wllh you were a Qdley K>. none Ixit
Hie, that's all the hurt I wi(K you.

Sir Sim. Thank you Mrs. Jojmtr ; well I will throw off
Dai>feTWtt\ Puxfizintanct whm I am nnarried> and will only
be 'a Culley to my VVifc, and that's no more than the wifeli
Husband of 'em all is.

Jcyn. Then jou think you fhall carr^ Mn. Martbd.
Str Stm. Your Hundred Cuiaeys are
, As good as ii> t Our Lap.

Jcpi. But I atn atratd this double plot of yours

Shou''

jjo tow im 4 Wi^t, Oy,

fSmiki £d1,' yau wou'd fixmei fuccecd, ,

If you only ddign'd upon Mn. Msnf>»y

Oionlyopon mfflAA^ Fl^Mt.

Sir Sim. Nay then you are no VVomm of InCrfguf , Fiith
and Troch, 'tis good to have two Aringi to one Bow > if Mrs.
AUrtbm be coy, I tdl the Widow I put on my di%uire (or
her i But If Mts. MtTth» be kind to Jonas, Sr Simon jlddU*
flat will be felfc to the Widow, wMdi is no more than VVh
dows are la'd to ; foi a Promtle to a VVfdow is ts id/Sx>m
kept, as t vow made » Sea, ai Drffirwit fays.

Jaym. Inn afraid they lhoa*4 diKorer you.

Sir Sim. Yva have nothir^ to (ta, you tiave fonr twenty
Gtdncas in foui Pocket for h^Hig me into my Service, andS*
IgetintoMis. ili«rti«'s Qnitcrs, you have a hundred moR*
Ifinto the Widows, Itfty, hftppy go luckya'wHI her LadyOiip
be at your Hoi^ it dtc hour i

f^ Y«.

Sir Sim. Then you fliall Tee when 1 im Si tiimm AJJlt^t
and my Ictf, 111 loc^ Uketnyjldr, now I «d Jtn»t I look like
mkds yen never thoogbt ^Simm AiJ^^ oou'd Invc
lodt*d (b like an A6 b; hishieemity.

Jajm, Pardon me^ SirSimoit.

Sir Sim. Nay, do not flatter. Faith and Troth.

yojut. Come let us go, 'tis time.

Sir Sim. I w^l carry the Widow to the frn^Rourc.

^tyn. If (he will go.

Sir Sim. If (he will go ^ why^ did you *vct know a Wi-
dow refute a treat ? no more than a lawyer a Fee, Faidi and
Troth, yet I know tooy

■Tlstmufi Mt Imsthj thejikii^ WtJMfftgfu.

the Seau tbm^es to tbs VttailR-Hoiife^ riTsMr,
Wint saJCMdles.

Emtr Vincent, Ranger, DapperwiC. ''
Dtp. Pray, Mr. Km^tr^ kt's We no drinking to n'^t.
P'ia. Pray, Mr, RMngert Iet*8 have TO Pxfprvht to night.
Ran. Nay, nay, Vintint.

Vin.

r^ A P(H^ I hue his ixnpatHKitt Out nuie ifaui he does
' itie boDcft Bmgm4y-

Dm, But why (ho'ud you fixoc Wine upon us ? we aie
not all of your qiOdw

Vm. But wfiy ftoiilcl yoo force your diaw'd Jeftt, yout
damnM ends of your mouldy Lampoons, and lafi yean Soonctt
upoa us *^ "'^^ "°^ '^ ^ y^*" gi^f^ '

i}<;» The Wine malKsaeiidt, fctmepnifiL

Vtn, Thy Rhymes make mefpcw.

Rgiff. AtRepaiteeali(ady,c(»ef>^<»«,Ikno«ryouwould
RathanaTc hhn pledge you, here Dtvpawit.

(Ghwi^tbiCUfs.'
But why vc|OH fo es^to have bfan driak always?

Vm Becu^heU lo eager to talk always and thoebno
othct ways to Glcnce him

fV^t. HcFtisa Gcntkmande&cstofpeakwtdiMr.f^mmr.

^1% I cone. (ExirVia

i?^. He may drink becauJx be b ci>lig'd todK Bottle, for
all the Wit andCounge he has, 'tis not &ec and natural tike
yours.

Kan, He has more Courage than Wk, but wsmts neither.

Dmf, AiaPiai^eOQC di^, tf you pour no Water down
you wdl get none out, fo

R01U Sixft t bat limittes too* ivnietu.

J>af, W^ is not the thought iKW, don'CyAaj^pnSxQdit?

Rm. Ycs^ yei, but

Dsf, V Vel^ well, will you amply with lus ibttiQmds toc^:
and hate brisk things in con^Uance totlic Ignorant dull Age^
I bclkve fliortly 'twill be as hatd to find a patient Friend to
Communicate ones Wit to, as a faithful Friend to CoaniHK
Btcate ones Scoet to. Wit has as few true Judges as Funt-
ioglfce.

Aa«. All People pretend to be judgcsof bodi.

DMf. I, they pictcnd-^— but let you slide.
And two moBe. ■- —

R«iu But why, lias Vmeitt nddier Courage nor Wit ?

D«f. Hi has no Cour^, bccaufe he beat His Wcndi for
giving mtUt JeiuuyeuK mci i and no Wit, beaurfe be does
not comprehend my Thoughts rand he is a Son of a Whort

(at

9)3 -^ve hmWocdi Or,

fxtt \iA ^iwrance ■■, I uke Ignonixx worfc &bm any MaA dian

iheLi^ becaufc 'masimdias tolaylamno Wt.'

Vincent K^wrof.
You need not tike any notice, dioueh, to him what 1 £i)r.

Vhh R4i^, there is a Woman odow ia a Coach wooU
fpcak with you.

Ran. With nie> (E»f Ran.

Dot. Ti^RMHgtrt Mr.^>c«tf, b as fdfe to his Fricod as
hisWmch.

Km. You have no reafbn 10 fay fo,
Butbecaufe be baMcnt.

Dtf. ' r is diToUigJng to teH a Man of his faults Co lus Face,
if he had but youi Grave Parts and Manly Wit, I fliould adon!
himi butaPoxhciBatnect BqAdoh, a Jack-[xiddti^, Ictme
perifli —

Vin. You are an ungratefbl Fdlow, I have heaid him m^-
tth you hUl Wit, which was mon than e'er you cou'd do for
yoin felfi I thought you bad own*d him your li^etmu.

Dsfer. A Pox.' he cannot but eftecm me, 'tis for his ho-
nour 1 but I cannot but lie )uft for ill that, without btoax at
afledion, yet I coi&ls I love him fo well, that I wiQi he had
but the hmdredth part of your Courage.

FuL He h£ had the Courage to lave you from many a beat
ing to my knowledge.

Daf. Come, come, I wKh the Man wdl, and next to you,
betterthanany Bilanj ini lam foiry to % It, he has not Cou-
rage to fnutTa Candle with his FtngerSi when'beis drunk in-
deed, be dans get a Clap, or lb —■■■ - and fweat at a Confb-
ble. .

yk. Deu&ing Fop, when did you fee tum ddcrt lus
Friend >

Daf. YoQ have a rough kind of a Raillery« Mt. Vmemt, bat
Gnce you will have it, (though I love the Man heartily, I &yj
hedclnted me.Qiioe in breaking of Windows, forfeai of the -
Conftabfcs, , RangaAtwwi.

but you need not take notice K) him, ofwhatltellyou* I hate
to pat alffen to the Uufh.

Rdn. Ihavchadjuftnowa Vifl^firommy Miftrel^ who Is
« ieaiousof mc.asa Wifcof hetflasband when (he lies in } my
CouCii l.jfdia,:jou havehoud mi: fpeak of her.

Ktn,

St. Jamts'i'Par^. 3<^9

Pin. But flic is [noic tioubldbme thin a Wife lliat lies in, be-
caufc flie follows you to your haunts i wh7 do you alb^v hcc
that privilege before her tinK .'

Rm. Faith, I miralbtr hei any fmvil^ and be too tiard
for bei yet i bow do you thinli 1 have cheated her to night ?
Woooen are pow credulous Creatures, ealilr deceived.

Fia, Wc ire poor credulous Cteaturet) when we think 'cm
lb. -

RaiL latendingd (tamble to Sti jF'MciVPuk toni|ht, up*
on fome probableDopes of Jbnte Jrdfa Game I hararfh Oiale, I
appointed her to Ihy at home, with a promiie to oi^ to her
within this hourt that (he mi^t oot foil the font and prercac
my fpoit.

Ftm. She'll, be even with you when you are Married, I war-
rant you ) in the mean time here's hn health Dtpperwit.

Rm. Now had he laibcr be at the Window writing her Ana-
^m in theG)a&, with his Diunoodj or biting h^ Nails in
the comer, foe a 6ne thought, to come and divert .i» with ac
the Table.

D*^. No, a Poxlhavenowittonight, lamasbarrjoand
hide-bound as ooet^ your dimn^dfaibUiigPoet^ who are Sots
In Company lor all their Wit, as a Mi&t is pi>ot foe aii his
Money i bow do you lilte the thought. ■■

Via, Drink> drink.

Dap. Wellj lean drink ttus, beoule I fliall beicpiiev'd
pre&ntly.

Vin. Who will be fo civil to -us.

Da^. Sir Simen AdJleflot,! ham befpoke him a Supper here
for he treats to night a new rich Miflrcfs*

R^. That Spatk who has he fitaittds defij^Mupoinhc Bed
ridden rich Wicbw, down to the fucking Hciicilcs in her ptf-
ling Clout, he has once the fpoit, but now the publ;ck griev-
arKcof alLtheFoitunetinTown i iorhe watches them lilcea
younger Brother that is afraid, to be aianipM of his fnip, atMl
they cannot Iteil a Marriage, not Hay ibcir StooiaehSi but he
muR know it. .

Dap. He has now pitch'dhis Nets ibr G«^*s Daughter the
die rich Scrivener, and fetveltiKn as a Clerk to get adwiJtbn
to her, which the watchful Fop her Father, denies to all otinas,

A a S-oB.

3J4 LovtrnaWMdi Or,

Kmi. I thought joa had ban nikiliflg at her mmx, under
f retencc of tovc ro her Aunt.

but my Agent whfld he thinks mc hiii he klagtmc jbcttcn
cenAantly from her, and <caniec miiK faadt.

f^in. Still betraying your bel) Fitendi .

Z)^. I cannot in honour but bctn^r bhn' (fct me paVb,)
the poor ypune Wcixh is taken with my Pafon, and woM
(cratch throu^ foot Walh to cottie to die*

Vin. 'Tisa fignftciskcfXupclofeMniJ.

Dffp. Betray him, I'tl not be Tnyt<H to Love fer my Mul ''
Sir Sinton AtUleploc to ti«M wkb tit IfMtef.

Sir Sim. Know 'cm, you are a fawcy Jack-ftiaw to <jafC0i-
on me, (Faldi and tnxh) [ ktiowcTOry bo^, md every body
knows me.
- AS. Sir£«WR, ^^Mkh, Sir^fflMi.

Ran. And you arc a ftdaoiM Man to every body.

StrSim. Now Son ofa Wboie, do I fcnow the O ewt k me n >
3 Vogy wou'd have had a QiiUingof me before he wou'dletu
come to you.

Rm. TtttX«guc hn faornhnl tt Court ftnc;
CSecyouout, Simhi

Sir Sim. He has been bred at a FnuiHode, whcie ibey
are moieoinrealbnable.

f^in* Htte'B to you. Sir Simta*'

Sir Sim. I cannot drink, for I have a Miftiefs within, thoi^h
I wou'd nothave thcPc^leof the Hou&lo know it.

Rati. YoH need not be a&amM of your Mifiiefltf, &x ibey
aic commonly rich.

SirSim. And becaufe fhe is rkh, I would conceal h«i ibr
I never bad a Fich Mi&rek yet^ but one or odier ggt ber from
tnt pvdenily Faith and Troth.

Ran. EJut this banillplaoe to oonccalaMiftielsin, every
Wairor is an Inrelfigencer lo your Rivah.

SirSim. Ihivea oridi for that, lUktno WliteBaaBCMi
to the Room, I'll lay the Ck»h my fclf rather.

Ran. But who is your Mlftrefs.

SirSim. Yoor Savant — ]>outSeivan^-*-
-Mr. RMger.

Phb. Come, win you ptedgc tne >
S^Sim. No, I'll ffizre your Wia^ifyouwilirpaKiiieDdi^
^irll«r*s Compatiy, I came for that.
-, Fm. Ypu«> lift sdoHfek favour, tpukdum dDdlave tbit
Wine.
Sit Shi, CaamyOoAe, Ddffmifit. .
iUu Donocgounk&bewilHuifei tit n> lee bisMilbcfii
tea C4Ji^c4

Sir A*. Cpihe, come Man.

2hn. Would you hwc me &> mdnl as totave my Gomp^
hy-y tbeynltalicitiUr

SitSim, iboMx fnd her talk wkboutiheei ^yOentle-
nm paTmuk Mr. Daffermt to go with me.
Rmi, We i^notiwidet him oif bettor Compuiy.
i>«^. YoHtitiiDogotMltobelcftniddf.
Jt^ir fAw. Nay Gciidfeitite I would dc&e ycnu Ccm^oiqr too^
if yoQ Icntw tbs Udy.
i>a^. ThcfknoifrhetalWcllail, you &y I know lief not;
£s> Anr. Tob are not every body. i4^*

tUn. Periiapf we do know the Ladyj Sit SimfM.
Sir Sim. You do not, you do not, none of youi evo &vi
hct bi joai fives i hut If you coi^ be iccret, and dvil
Rgm. We have drunk yet but our Bottle a piece.
Sir Sim. But wifiyoubicdvil, Vb.yhKtia. ■■',-.

JU». he datti not look i Woouh in the Fice under dutc

Sir Sim> Come iloag then t bat cw you be civil Gentle^
mm ^ will you be dvil Gaftlemen / p^ay be civil if you cai^
■nd yoi (haU fee hor. (.E)ut Str Sim. Rttnrtu. with

(mtaJyFtipfinland Mrs- Joyna.

Vap. How, haa bfc got his Jik hcte ? {Afidt.

Rm. The Wido# fUffmt^-~ (Afidt.

inn. Is this the WomaA diat We nevet &w ? (AJuit. .

itip. Doesheb(ingiBli»oCoa^y> ami Zfti^enifit oas !
tboui^Ihad tmniMl the Fool> I thought to have leleiv'df
theWitaswclIasothe^Udita: (A/i^^

Sir Sim* Nay, look mIoh^ at ydu will, Vb/iuit you wilt
find them civil GmdemeB, aod gpod Con^ny.

;Si^ lamuattti^iubiQitiMiidviUiyt biityouti

M» ■ - "^-M

35^ Lfive in a Woodi-Ot,

foyn. -You'll never lean Ihubbing your Semnls, dici you
not prnmifetoufe him kindly. - {Behind.

Flip. 'Tis true (^fiii.

Wc wanted no good Company, - Ki Aurw; aslong we had
yours.

Sir Sim. But they wanted good Gofnpuiy,'thcrc{bR I Ibrc'd
them to accept of yours,

^ FUf. They will not tjiink the Company Sood, the| woe
fbrcM into cei tainly,

SirSun. APoxt munbcufingthewoidsinbfluohdiougb
I never have any luck with 'cm, Mn. Jwttr., hdp roe c^ '

^^r/jn. I fuppofe, Madam,' 1^ mCans the Gcntlanan wanted
not inclination to your Company, but conAdaice codefiicib
great an Honour, thctefbre be foic'd 'on.

Daf. What makcf; this Bawd here? fure Miilfds your
Bawds (hould be like the fmall Cards, though at Hrft you make
up a Pack, yet when the Play begins, you Siould be put oiU
as a(e!t& '

• Jajn. Well, well, Gibeing Companion, you wiNi'd baft
the Pimps kept in only ? you wou'd fo ?

Vin. What, thev are quarrelling^ '

Rsn. Hmp arid Bawd agree now a dayt like Dodtnr and he
potbecary.

Sit Sim. Try-Madam, if they are not dvU Gentlemen, talk
with 'em, WfcjJe I go lay'the Cloth, no Waiter comes here:
My Mother us'd to cell me, 1 (hou*d avoid alt occations of talk-
Ingbetbre my Mifii^s, bccaufc-lilence is "a -s iiga of Love as
wcR as Pradcnce. {AJiJe.

- F/;^. Methinks you look a little yellow on't, - (£tr Sinioa
(li^ini tie Cktlh
Mr. Dttfpenvit i I hop* you do not cenfure me
Brcdufe you tind me piQing away a night with tHts Fool •
He is not a Man to be' )ealous of fine.

* /)«p. Yoiiarenot aLad/tobe jealous of (lire.

P7t>> No cenalnLy, but why doyoa hx^as if you Were jea-
lous then.

Dof. If I had met ybu in Iffcflw/iBte's-Piiik, whhidrunk-
eii Fbot-Soldjer, I Iboiildhot have tjecn jc(dous of you.

Flip. Fye,fye,' iio*(r you arc jeakHa'cmaialy, -for Ptopic al-
ways, when they ^row fealous, grow rude i but I can Pardon il
.(fricejt proceeds from Love cftuinly. - ^ - l>af-

, St.James'/-B«'4. , jS7

7>a^ lunoatofallbopcstobeii^of this ctnnal old Ac-
quaiotince.whcal jm her, Ibc thinks ha fdf prais'd, nct>P ^caH
her Whore in plain Englilb, {he thinks I am jealous. ' C^fide.

Flip. Sweet' Mt. Dj^peri'itt be not {o ceiirorioti$> J Tprak
foe your lakt^ not.my..Qwn, foijeakiufieisatortncnt, butmy
Honoui cannot fiilTei certainly.

Ddp. No caainly) but. the greyed torment I have is youi
Lore., ■* . ... I

Etif, Abs fmct Mu Dafperwif, indeed Love is a torment i
hat.'Ufit (Wect ttwifwntv: but Jn^f^e k ?,, bitter loftnciit, I
cbnot go about to cure you of the torment of my Loye» ,

Dap. 'Tis a Ognfo.- . , ,, r . , .' , '■'_'.■

Flip* Come, comej took up.Man,!^ that a Rival tocohttft
Wfihyou?

D^. I wiir contcH with no Riyal, not 'with my old AivaJ
your Coach-m^ but they have ^caitily my rel)gna(tDt>, and
udo^oua.&vour, but.my felfa greater, I will help tye the
knucyoaaKftuiiblingfbr now, betwixtyourculley here, and
yon. . .

Flip. Go, go, I takethatkind ofjcaloiilie worft of all, to
rufpealwould bebauch'd tobeaill^^auimoiiyi butwhoaic
thoTe-Getulemeti, jsay J-r-^r-ate^thcy Men of Fortunes, Mrs.

. 5^^ I bdleve To.
. . f/rjS: Do yoa.believe (b.i()decd-> gentlemen——

: , (WriFuf^ei/^ ffn>«r^ Rai^et ^(/ Vincent.
Ran, If the dnlity we owe to Ladies, had not conirourd
our Eavy ID Mr. Aifipirdi'if* wc had iaienuptcdeV this your
private Converlaiion. '

Blip. Your intenuption, Sir, bad.becn'inDficivil,aadobIi-
ing, for out difaHuTc Was of Maruigc.

Rtn. Ttiat is a fubjei^, Madam, as grateful as commcMi. ~
, F^ 'Ofye, fyd,^rcyou oftharPpimgn too? I cannot- fuf-
fer any to talk otit in my Company.
- . - JU». Arc you Married then, N^d^^ ^ ' '

Flip. Ni] certainly. ,

Ran. I am fure (o much Beauty cuinot dcfpir of it.

\F//>."Dtfpairtifit

VJm. .Oily thofe that atc.Mairied, or aonot be Muric4 bate
.tohcaiof Mairij^

Aa 3 .fi't'

359 LomhiaiVaidiOt,

flif. Yet you innft kuov^ Sir, my tvafion to Mmb^r &
fbdi, dBtyouaotnoMmbrntfaiDg, Ihtil nttpetfmdc m
to it. ,

K^a. Curs*d be the Man QioiiM do fb tdle a -dtbg ss (o
petTwide you to tny tWng tgainft your iiKlinitpn i I wouM
notdoitforthe W'otld, Madam.

flif. Comr, come, though yOQ (Nai'ttybc • d«il Gentle-
tkman, I chinh you no better than youi NrigMxHurs i 1 do tiot
know a Man of you all, that wilt not tbuft tWoiwuiiip
Into 1 Comer, and then nlk an hour to hnfiUpntiiKiMly of
Bbrriige.

X«ff. You wou*d find me another Man in > Corner, I at
fure you, Madam, for you (hou'd not hayc a Word of Mantkge
£rom me, whaifoever you might find in my adions of it i I
hate taking as much as you.

Htp. ITuteitcxtreamly.

Rm. I am your Man then, Madam, fi]r l&id jiift the&Be
fiiidt with your Sex as you do wkh oofs i I m'ai oou'd have to
do with Woman in i^y lifcj but Aill Ihc wou'd be imperii aeW-
ly taliungof Muriage to me.

Fiif. Obfcrrethat, Mrs. J»y»er»

Dap. Piay Mr. Rmgir, let's go, I hti. Mdier Unk wftb
Mr. r/JKMt, than ftay hoe with you ; bdidcs *tis Park (fane.

R*n. I come. '■ (T^Dap.

Since yoti are a Lady thtt hate MmUg^ rWdoyoathe.ftrvice
to withdraw the Compmy, for drafa that hate Murhge, bate
loBofdm?*

Flip. Win you go then> Sirt but bdw yon g<^ S|i, pny
tdlmebyouravcriion toManiageretl? '■" ■

JUm. As real as yours.

Flip. If it wete no mote real than aint- j . ■ {AjUt.
- XdOf. Your Servant, Madami

F/^. ButdoyouhateManiagecatairiy?(P£Hnb<BiMiMi:

lUn. Certainly.

flit. Come, I cannot bc£cn k, you diffirabk i^ onlf be<
caule I pretend itv

Rm. Do you bdt pfctend it then, Madun^

Flif. I OaltdiTcovcr my feif^ (JifJt.

i mean, bcciule I hold againft i^ you do the fime in cooi-
I^ifance \ for 1 have heard fay, conning Men lUik to fating
.'^ ,^■ the ,

riwcay«i^w>tn£bUc.WoiiKnt!oameM(s, « tbeydofome
Mid Peo^ bj humouring didr Freazcs.

Ra». lamnOMofthote CBnain^Mcn, yet have too niQch
Wit to cnlortun ifaa pnfiKBption ofdefignlng upoa you.

jito. 'Twae Dofiich piciuinption neither.

Daft OoaufWift hdcuh doatyou, yoafte your danger^

Km. ThqfeBiiMtitlbiSiiSimw, goodnight, Mid»m.

Flip. Will you iMids*^ ibcn ^ theGoMlemeDaieagt^n^
^ JifMdM, will you let e m ?

Sir Sim. Nay» Midara if you cannot keep 'em, how ffaoutd

Flif. Suy Sir, bcQufe you hate Maniagr, I'll ling you a
tKwSongagiunltit.

Affeufeldobatty
Far eithar fi^tfslf* tr^s jtaUm i

But give Kj « Mattt
Who polMjig will *tk at, vt tiS m^.

Shtfimdi «fl m tttmtt -
. Nor ebitfftrs hy way <f Indtntme,
HtrUvt for your Farmt\
Bi*t4kisierkt^AiMst»vtMmt,

If all freve net rights
Wfthem #» AUt ?roufi, «• W^mmingf

From U^feftr « nighty
ToHmayhtJiwt^JmtieMami^i

Wim FmHtt mt Slfvet,,
Tbar Br*ttt umm he m^ rtnr >

Great Wits^ anifriat Brmtnt
Have tlwtyt » FuiA^to tbnr Mahtr,

Fl^. Though it be die fifhioQ for Women of Qu^ty to fing
any Song whunrei, becauie the Words ue ax. diftingidfliM }
yet I {botl^ have bluQi'd, to ban done it nov, but foi you.

'36q LoVf^ ia a Wood ; Of,

Kan. The Song is ecltfying, the Voice adnaitaUr, lod once
more I am ynur Scrvaut,. Madam.

' Flif. What, will you go too, Mr. Dapftiwt ?

Sir Sim. Pray, Mi. Dapperwit, do not you go Wcx

Dap. I am ehgag'd.

Sir Sim. Well, if we cannot have their Company, vre^Hl
not have their Room, oinsis a piivate back Room i they have
paid their reckoning, let's go tbitbera^in.

Flip. But pray, {weetMr.P<i^i}wni'ir,donotgOi keep him,
gir-SwM.

Sir Sim. I cannot keep him. (Exeunt Vin. Ran. Dap.

hit imfcfihU ; i' the World it fv^)

One cannot kttf enet FritnJ, snd Mijlrefj too.

(Ex. Omnes.

ACT 11. SCENE L

St. James'i-Ptfr^ « Night.

Eftfer Ranger, Vincent, Daj)pcrwit.
\ng me if; 1 am not pleasM extreainly
taOiion'd caCcer>wouling, this midnight couiling in-

IR.an.'TJX \ng me if; 1 am not pleas'd extrcamly with his new

rl'" " '

the Pirk.

Vin. A M'H tnay. come after Supper with his three Bottles
in his Head, red himfelf ibber, without repioof from his Mo-
ther, Aunt, or grave Rdatior>.

Ran. May bring his Ba(hfu] Wench, and not have her put
out of CoLtntenaiice b^ the impudent honctl Women of the
Town. ' ■ ,

Dap. An3 a Man of Wit may have the bettcrirf the dumb
fhew, of Well trim'd Veil, oc fair Peruquc \ no Man's now is
whitefl.

S«i. And now no Woman's modt^ft, or proud, for her
|>la(hcs are hid, ani the Riitxes on her Lips are died, aiid all
ilttpy iuict ^aimering Eyes have bft thcif Attrw^ion. -

St, Jmn^S'Psrk. 35i

fHiu And now a Man may cairy a Bottle nnder his Ann, in-
ftcad of his Hat, and noobfeiTing Spruce Fop will tnjfs the
Crrvatttnt lies on ones Skoukkt, oi count the Piinples on ones
Face.

D0p, And now the brisk Repartee ruins the complaifant
Ciingej or vnfc Grimace j f(»nctMng *ova^, we Men of vir- .
tuc s^ways Im^d (he Nl^.
R«b Oblefled Seafbti.
f^m. For good-Fellows,
Rsn. For Lovers.
Dap, And for the Mufes.

lUm When I was Boy I lov'd the Nipht To wcltj I had a
firong vocation to be a Bellman's Appieniicc.
ytth 1 a Draper.

Dap. And I to attend the Waits of Wefiminfier, kt mc
pcarUh.

Ran. But why do we not do the duty of this and fuch other
'pbfirs, walk, cenfure, and fpeak ill of all we meet ?
D*^ 'Tisnofault ofmlne, let mepcrilh. ■ ■
. fflfc Fyc, fye, Saiyrical Gentlemen, this fe not your tim«i
■JOK^ cannot' dittingMifh a Friend frotn a Fop.

Dap, No matta, no matter, they will dcferve amongA 'cm
thcwoiAwccati''&y. '

Ran Who comes here, J>*pptrwHi

J>ap, B/ the to6 of hi) Head, training of his

fTtepie walking JImfy o-Oer the Sta^e,
Feet, and his Elbows playing at Bo-peep
Bchmd hislnck; it (bould be my Lord Eajj. ■
Ran. Aiid who the Woman?
Dap. My iM^, what d'ye calPs Daughter

That had a Child by

■ ^H. T>apprfyMt, hold voor Tcmgae.
R^. How, are you concrrn'd ?
■ Wd. Bet Brother's an Honett Fellow, and will drink bis
Glaft.

' Rom. Pnthtii f^inetnt, Dappmvitiid n(» hinder drinking
to night, though he fpake agatntl it > why then fhould yoo
interrupt his SpetCi now let hiiri talk of any body.
Km So he will, till ;you rot his Thtoat.

%6% L0vt imAW»94 S O,

JRm. Whyfliou*dycmiftaUoocifii»sthwHtbiai, coMann
him, and tnalicioafly kxik gqn at Ms jefts only ?

Vm. Wby do*s he always kw afuiUt my Fiicads them utd
fny belt Friencl a Beer-glab >

Rom, D*fftrvntt M your otm Actroott, my Gane I
fhink is before me there? (fxipRan.

Z>«£. This Amvct, 1 think, hai aBdwUI qiulitin, of aU
your Town Fops, leaving his Compaoy ip§ a ^occ Loid.
gr a Wench.

Vin. Nay, if yoa muft rulat youi own bcfi Fficnds, I may
Ibr^ve you railing at mnie.

Z^Jl Falfe K«;;er, ftiaU 1 M thcehuv ^ C^yi^

Tw. Thofc are Women, are they not ? (X» Dap*

lUf. The Icalt feems to be my Luef (iue. (4fidi.

Vin. Faith 1 think 1 dare fpeak to a Woman in the Cbil^

kt'stry.

]?«f.They an PeifoDS of QiuUty of my Ac^intaace V h(Al
Vin. Nay, if they an Perlbnsof Quality of your AcTuia-

fanct I may be the bokkr with '«iiu

' (Jht LdJits go'tffj thtyftllamtimi hy^tini Ftif>|)Mt
RitMrr,
Lyi. I come hither to make a difcovery 10. Night.
Flip. Of my Love to yw cauhily ; for no bo4p but yoii

OHiM have ddaiKb'd ma to the Park cbtaUy.; I woa'd not

setum anotbtt oiglbt, if k woe tQ aedeem my deaf Husband

ftom his Grave.

Ljd, I believe youi but to g^ aoothci, Wtdowi
Ilif. Another Husband, another Nlisbtnd, fehl
Lyd. There does not paft a night boe, hut mmtj a natdi

is made.

Flip. That a Woman of Honour QkmM Ihk the word

Match in her mouth > but, I bqx^ Madafln, the FcUow* do

0ot XB^ Honourabk Lovf bac* do ihcy i 1 aboi«loaCe bo*

nourablc Love, upon my Honour. '
L»i. IfdMylhouldni^hiMoniaUeXovcba^Ikiiowyoa

.would fseveot 'cm.

Vincent n4 Daf^nrwii R^iMert Mi wMtfimiy ttwmit
lirw.

But hoc come two Men wilt inform you what to doi

Lyd. Prepare fair id A&ult, thry'l put you to*t.
l^if. VVtl dicy put us c&*t ocminly M w«s mver put Co*t
yec,if they (Iwu'd put us ta't,! fluxiU 4iDp donini dot{>n (xnainly,
^V. K bdkK, inilya you wou'd nee have potyec to lun
atray.

fZ^ ThtafisK I will not ft^ the poQ^ ibey cgme, tiicy
comcj (^ the FcUamrs come!

Flippant riMs «v«y, Lydia fdltwst luij Vinceff,
W Daypeiwii i^Mr f im.
f linMOt Retmtri at ratter dW iiJmi
So, luDgitf mdor: Ididoot rui irom tbc Men, butmf
Companion, for all thdr bn^ Men Iutc iuidl/ Coun^ to
fin apaam, .wlwa outfiuiabn is e4]uali now tlxy ihaU Tee I
detk 'cm : For we Women have always moft Coaa^ wtmi
we are alone i t)utapox— ihelnle Rogues corae Tiot> oi
they are Drunk and annot run . Oh drink, abofsfauble drink !
inlicad of inBaoing Love, jt quenches it, end for ooc Lover
itinoHirages, it mtkcs a Tboabnd impotcof .

CufAoniHWine, creaRho^ Wise awl Sugar < >

Alter. AddWfdot; mufftd i» s CU^k.
Bat Foetunc will not fee loewabt^ hoc axaa a iingk Ba&y, I

Ar iMMf s tfif;kt tbejt/Hiiig NjpiH^itydJtr,
JbM mtitm 'Sstjr with bis Cl»4k.**r fiaiUtn

VVeH met, Sb. (Sii Sitfi mhtrMfAtk

■ Sit Sim. How flnlt 1 know that, fedbothj who arc yba }
do you know me,'

FUf. Who are you? don't you Inow me?

Sh Sim. Not I, Faith and Troth.

Flif. lam glad on't, foi no Mane*erlik*da Woipandic
better for Iiaving known her before.

Sir Sim. I, but then one can't be lb fitcc with anew Ac-
^laintanCe, as vidian old one i (heinaydcnyooetbeCiTility.

FUf. Not till foa ask her.

Sir Sim. But I un aftaid to bedcoy'd.

FUf. Let meteU you, Sii^ yoHcimuCdifobliBE us VV^oiccb
nwic^ thm m ditbofiii^ W^

3^4 l^69e in * Whod'^ Or, <•

Sir Sim. Klh, whit (bouM one asb for, when fan know
on's meaniogf but fbtll I deal fively with yoa ?

Fiif. I love of mj Life Men fboold deal frecif with me i
Aere aie lb few Hen will deil freely with one —
' Sir Sim, Ate you not i Firdllipv a Punk,.Mwlata^

FUp. Well, Sir, I Lotc Raillery.
. Sir Sim. Fiith and Troth I do not lailly, I deal fsecl/.
Flip. This is the time uid pbce foi.frtcdo(D> Sir>
SirSint. Areyouhandfom i

Fti^ Jem's isgooiasmjlAdv in Ate ixAiy certainly; bat
Mm that dell 'fittly, never ask Queftions, certainly.
' Sir Sim. How then ! I thought to deal freely, and put a
Woman t6 the Queftion, had been all one.
' Flif. But let me tell you, thoCe that deal ircely tocteed, take
t Woman by— —
Sir Sim. What, what, what, what ? •
Ftif. By the hand, and,' and li^d her aGde. -
- ' Sir Sim. 'Now I un Jerfland you, come along-tbcn.
Eirrer Tarcbet mid Mmfkk *t » di^Mct.
Flip. What unrnmiKily Rafc^s are dio& - chat bring Ugbt-
into the Park ^ 'twill ^ot be taken weH itrom 'em^by the VVo-
mencertainlys-flflldi&ppointed*— — * {^AfJa

Sir Sim. Oh the Fidlcs, the Fidles, 1 fent for diem hither to
oblige the.yVonwn, not to offend 'cm i fori intend to Sere-
nade thewholcPark ? tortghti butmyFroIick is riot with-
out an intrigae, Fattb and Troth i for f know the Fiddles wilt
call the whole Herd of vizard Masks together i and then (hall
I difcover if a Bray'd MiftteJs of mine be notamongft *em,
whom- 1 treited- to night at the Frtnch-Hmfe s but as loon as
the Jilt had eatupmy meat, and drank htir tvro Bottles,' Ak
■un away from me, ahd left n^c alone.

Flif, How! is it he! AdJleflat., that 1 cou'd not itnow him
by his Faith aridTroth. (AfiJe,

Sir Sim. Now I wouM utidrrlland her tricks, becaufe I in-
tend to Maht'lilh', aitd' Ihou'd be glad toknowt^hat I muft
nuft ta " ' ' .

flip. So thou (halt, but not yet. (A^e.

Sir'Sim. Though I can give a great gue&alrcady; forif I

hive anv intrigue or Tenfe ininc, flxisas arrant ajilt,.as

ever puird Pilbvi^ from under Husband's head, Faith and

• - ^^Troth.•

St. Jzmcs't-Tark gSf

Troth: Moteova (beisbow-legg'd, hof^hif^'djand bett^zc
PomatuiD and Spinilh Read, has a Comidczioa like a HcMaai
Ch«fe> and no more Teeth left, than fuch u ^ve a HaoA* '
gouft to her breath i but the is rich f Faith and- Tioth.^

Flip. OhfUcal.' hehas heard fome body eUc fay all this 4|
me ; but I muIV not difcover my fclf, leli I (bould be dj&fynjnlffj
of my lercngc, for I will marryhiak C^fide^

Tbt Torebtt and Mnfkk affTMtbiiv. (Em. fi'ifftau

Sir Sim. What gone ^ cone then urike up my Lads.

(Etittr Aim Mi Womtn in ViXjatds., tmd Donee,
Addleplot far tbt mtfi fart fianding ^iU in '» CUak and Vf
K#ri/i Ihix fimttimei £eing aboia pu^g 4nd examning tit
Wimtni Clomlu i tbi Daaa mdtd.

Exeunt Danttn^ Ttrcbif, Miifici, and Addleplot.

ErUerFlipplant, Lydia, after them Vincent, "Dipfennt.'
Fl^. Nay> if you ftay any longer I muft kave you again.

(nLydw
Vin. Wc have oTcr-uken them at hA agfun.

(tUf. going if.
Thefearethey : they ftpaiatc too,
And that's but a challenge to us.

Dap. Lrtmeperifli, Ladici-

Lydt Nay, good Madamj let's unite, now hcrc*i the com-
mon Enemy upon na.

Via. Damn me, Ladies——

Dap. Hold, a Pox you are toorough, kt me Pcri{h Ladies.

Lyd. Not for want of treatb* C^tlonen, we'll ftay ra-
ther, . .

Dap, For wantofypurfivourrather, SweetLadies.

Ftif. That's Dat^nvit, fal(e Villain . but he muft not
know lambae? ifncfhouldj I (houldlore his thrice agreeable
Company, and he would run from me, as faftasiiomthc
.Bayli/^ What you will not talk with 'on 1 hope ?
-Lyd. Ye5,butlwill.

Flip. Then youa^ca Park-Woman catainly, andyou wilt
take it kindly if 1 leave you.

l^d. No, you muli not leave me. . (Jfmt.

Flip. Tlurn you mull leave them.

^66 LovtinaWMd^ (Ul

JjfJ, ra fee if they are worie Companr di«i fon fkA.
FUf. Moaftrous Impudence, wilt you not come ?

"" r/n. Nay, Madam, IneveifiilVerany violenortDbeus'dto
« Woman, bit what I do my fiX>, (he muft flay, ukI yod
imA not go.

JVi^ Unhand me, yoo rude Fellow.
Vin. Nay, now I am fare you will flay and be kind > (at
coyiK^ in a Woman ii as little %a of tfue Modefly, as bif-
fing in a Man, b of tiue Courage.

Dap. Ure her gently, and fpeak fcA thfi^ to her*
Lyi. Now 1 do gucft 1 know my Goxcoonb. C^4^'

%, 1 am extrcamly gltd 1 am &Ilcn into the hands of a Gen-:
tktnan, that can fpeak foft (hiflgs i and this is fo fax a n^Kt co
hear foft things in \ Manning f IhouM hive (aid,

D^f, It will not be Morning, drai Madam, till yoo pull off

yoof Ma^ s that I ihfnk was btisk — iA/Ue.

I^i. Indeed, dear Sir, my Face would filghtcn haclf the
&in.

Dsf. With Tories, more ladiint than hii ottn \
Ikeep Bpwhh her, I ^ink. ^ iA^Je.

Lfd. But why wou'd you put me to the ffOuMe of Hghdng
the VVorld, when I thought to have gone to fleep ?
Dap. You only can do it, deat MacGtcnj let nw poriC^
LjJ, But why woii*d you (of all Men) peaAke Tmlbii
againd your Fiiend Ptixhiu, and depole bun, for a ntct
Stianga i
DMp, I diink flie knom me. (jtfiJe.

Lfd. But he doesnotdoyouJuflicelhclWe, oAdyouarc
ib politively cock-fure of your Wit, you woa*d refer toar
meer ftranger your Pka to the Bay-ticc;

Dap. She jean me, let me pcrifb. . iAfi^^

Vm. Dapperivit, a little of your aid, for ay Lady's invind-
bly dum.
LjfJ. Wou*d mine had been fo toob (AfiJt*

Fin. 1 have us*d as many Argutnents to mris her fpake, as'
iue'reijuiftte to make other VVbmen hold meir tongues.

D^. Well, 1 am readf to change fides, yet before I go^-
Madam, fincc the Moon confents, now I (hou'd fee your Face,-
let medefuejtoi^ to pull off your Mask, wUdi to a faiadfbnv
Lady isafavwt, i'mfure. '^ J^J^

St. JamesVPrfr^. 367

LjJ. Tnilv, Sir, I muft not be long in debt to you fet the
obligpdoo; piay, let tnc hear ymittcttt {bmc of your Vcifcs,
wt£t\ fo a Wit, it a firvooi Vm (itrc.

t>gf, Madanii it belongs to your Sex to be cblig'd firl^
fK^ off your mask, and 1*1) pull out my Paixr.
Brisk a^dn of ray fide (Afiie,

Ljd.' 'Twou'd be In vab, fat yoa TRHiId want a Candle
now.

UUs. IdiKnotnahctjIieagain of thclofticofbei

Fhc; rn Wait upon 70a home then, Midam.

tyi. Futh no, I believe it vnH not be inadi to oar advaft-
tages, tofaong my Face 01 yovI^Ktiy to light, fori hq>e, you
liaveyet a fwccty good opniioa of my Face, and fo ban I of
jonr VVk ; but If you arc fbc ^oving youi V^t, w hy do noc
youwiiKaPlay>

ZX^ BecM& ^ now m mote Reputation to write a Play,
than k is Homut id be a Kni^ , yooi true Wit dcfpires the
Title of Poet, as much as youi true Genclnrun the Tiilc of
Knight, for asaman may faeaKnl^tand no Oenileman, fo
a naa omt be aPotC and no Wit, let me pcrifh.

Lyi. Pny, ^, bow ace yon ^pnff 'd , or diAingalHiM
unongft die rates of .Wits ^ and how many rates arc there?

i>ip. llKreiteas many d^rees of Wits, asof Lawycn;
as thcR Jc iirft yDar*Somdtor, then your Attorney, then your
Pleading-Gounfe], riim your Ghambct'Counlel, and then
your Judge > fo there is firft yoor Court- Wit, your Coffijc-
Wit, your PoU-Wit^or PoUitick. Wit, your Chamba- Wit,
« ScribUe Wit, and laft of all, your Judg-Wit, or Cri-
tick.

Lfd. Boi ate there as many Witsas Lawyers ? Lord, what
vrSA become of as ? what cmptoyrocnt can they baye ? how ate
ihey knownf

Dt^ Ptrft, your Court- Wit. is a faOikmable, infinuatlne,
flattering, cri|i^g, gtatoacing, Fellow i and as Wit eiwu^
lolbllictcafuitof Love^ and if he fail, he has malice enough
to lain tke wqihii with a dull Lampoon, but he rails fiill at
the man that is ^ent, for you muft know, all Wits Rail;
and hif Wit properly lies in combing Peruquea, matching
Ribbond^ and being (evcrr, as tbcy call it, upon other Peoples
Ctoaths. , ^sLyd.

368 Lew in a Weod'^ Or,

LyJ. Now, whit is the CofJ^Wit ?

t>»p. He is a lying, oenforious, goffipping, quibUing
Wictch, and fcts People togtchci by tbe Ejus orcr dat ibber
Dimk, Coffee i he is a Wit, as he is a Cotnentstor vipoa the
Gazcete \ and he Elails at the Pints of Algtrt^ the Gnod Sig-
nioi of Cai^antiaotki and the Chridian Gnuid S^nior^

i?-i What kind of Wit is yout Poll- Wit ?

Dof. He is a tidgctitig, buGe, dc^natical^ hot-headed Fop>
that fpcaks always in Sentences aiid Pfovcib^ (as odiet in Si-
mililadcs) and he Rails papclually agunft the ptdcnt Goran*
ment ; his Wit lies in Projeds and Monopoliai add pcntui^
Speeches kit young Parliament Men.

Lyd, But what is youiChatnbei-Wit, or Scribbb-Wit ?

Vap. He is a poring, melaacfaoly, modeft Sot, aflum'd of
the World; he IcarLhes all the Records of Wit, to compile a
Brtviate ot them for the ufe of Playcis, Printns> Book icDeu
and (bmetimcs Cooks, Tobacco-tnen > be iiiiploys his tailing
againft the Ignonncc of the Age, and all that have moEC Mo*
ney than he.

Ljd. Now your laft. .

Pap. Your Judge- Wit or Critick, is all thcfetc^iedter, and
yet has the Wit tobcnonc of them ihecaatbink,.fpc^, writ^
as well at all the relt, but fcorns (himfclf ajudgc) to be judg'd
by Polleriry ; he Rails at all the other ClalTes (^. Wits, and bis
Wit lies in damning all but hionfelf: He is your true Wit.

Lyd. Then 1 fufpcift you are of his Form.

Vaf. I annotdcny it Mjdam.

Vifi. Dapptrtnit, yiiu have b«n alt this time on the wrong
fide^for YOU love to talk all, atidhac's.a Lady wou*d not haw
hindred you^

DAp. A'POK, I have been talking too long indeed here*
for Wit is hl\ upon a liUy weak Woman,, as well as Cou-
rage. ' (Afi^

yin. 1 have us'd all comnKui means to tttove a Wocnans
Tongue aitd Mask ; 1 call'd |ier ugly, old, and,old.Acquain>
tance, and yet (bcwou'd not dtlprovc ine: but hnc comes
Ranger^ let hlto try what he can do, f(Hc fiocc my Miftrds is
dogged, ril go fltep done. {ExiU

D,J...Googk-A»"gef

Sc. Jamss'/'Tarlt. 3 69

, Kangcr Eaten.

Ijfi. Rjt^r ! 'tis he Indeed i I am ionry be. is here, but
gl«r I difcQvered him before I went, yet he mun not dilcorcr
me, left I fboald be pKvented hoeaftcrj in finding him out^
Me Ranger, . . lAfidt,

Naff if tney bring frefii force upon us, MadaiDj 'tis time to
^ this Field. , ,. (Ex. Lyd. flip,

Hm. What, ptay with your Quairey till it fly from you,
Dtf. You fir^tai it away.
Rjoi* [fa ! Is not one <^tho(e Ladies in mourning^
Dap, All Wdmen are fo by diis lighf.
JLnr. But you iQigbt eadly dilixm it, don\ yw knew her^
Vaf. No.

Xm. Did you talk with her i ,
J>sp. Yes, fhc*; one of your brisk filly Badges.
Ran. Tis flie, 'tis (!•€, ( was a&aid I ftw her before, Ifct us
Ibtlow 'em prithee make hahc. ( Exttmi.

*T:\%Lydi». , , (Afide.

Lydia, My Lidy Flippant retunu at the oihir dair.
Ranger, Oippciwit, fallowing tbem at a dt^ance.
. tvd. They ftJbW as yet I feit, , . >
. Flif. You do not ^t it certainly^ otbawilc, you wou d
not. have incouraged them. .

Ljfd. For Htavens fake,. MadaiD, waVe your^juarreUlittlei
and let us pais by your CcMch, and Jnon bxHtp your Acijuain-
sanoe id the old Pell-mell i for I wmld not be diicoveiM by the
^^ that .came up laft to us. {txeimtt

Tbt Scene, ebanv* to Chriflina'j ^Lodgii^,
Etarr Chriffina, t&be).
Ifa. le'oi Heavens fake undiefs your (clf^Madam ) they'll hot
return to night all Pet^le h^relcft thcPiikan houiawu
CW. VlTiatis'taClock?
i/i. *Tls psft oiie.
Chri. ltcannot.be.
, Ifii f thought, that timehsJotilyAcilcfl&oiiibai^Ldvehi
the Difcon&datc tuve nothfaig to dp but to tell the Ckicki
CbrL I can .only keep acoount wiih my liisfbitunes;
Ifi. lim glad ibey are not ianumeiaU&
, Cirh And truly itiy undlergcAng fo otidl youtimpeftinencvf
iidotthcickaof tbMn<

' B b r«

Ipf.'^iam then mote glad. Madam, for then they cannot
be great, and it is in my power, it fecnos, to make you in part
happy, (f I could but hold this villancw Torgoe of mine,
but t!wn let the People of the Town hold theii Tongues iSthej
will, foi 1. cannot but tell you what they fay.

Chri. What do thty fay ?

Jfa. Faith, Madam, I am a&aid to tell you, now Ittnak
on*t.

Chi. Is it fo ill ?

J/i. O, fuchbafc unworthy things.

Chri. Do they fay, I was really CleHmimi't WeiKh as be
boafted ; and that the ground of the quarrel betwi« VmUntm
and him, was not Valintines Vindication of my honour, but
CUriimnt's jeabulie of him.

Ifa. Wot(e, worfe a Thoufand tttna, fiidi VQhinus^wigf
to the uttei ruin of your Reputation.

Chri, What ate they ?

Jfa. Faith, Madam, you'll be An^y, 'tis tlie old trick of
Lovers to hate their Informers, after they have made 'em fuch.

Cbri. I will not be Angry.

I/j. They lay then, (incc Mr. yaUmine*s fiyhigiiito Frautt,
you are grown mad, have put your feVintb Mourning, Imin
adaik Koom, where you'll fcenobodf, ntvtikc any rdt cby
ot nieht, but lave and talk to your frif perpetually.

Cir/. Now what elfe?

J/a. ButthefureAlignofyourmadnefi, is,therfiiy, brcaofe
you arc dcfpaately rcfolvM (m cafe my Lord Clerimmu fbocdd
dye of his woun<^) to Ttanfpott your fclf and Fortoneinto
FroHfe, to Mr. Valentine-, a Man that has not a Gioat to n*
turn you in Exdiange.

Chri. All this hhherto, btruci nowtodieftft.

Jfa. Indeed Madam, 1 have no mote to tetl jaa^ I was fix-
ly, rmfure, toheatfomuchofany Lady t^tninb

Chri.. Infupportjbte Infolcncc. .

Jfa* Thisisfcrae'Revengefbrmywanttrf' Sleep to' Nf{^-,
fb 1 hope my old Second is come ; 'tis (eafbnabic Relief.

iAfidt. (KmeJang tt tht T>6er.

Cbri, Unhappy Valfntine^ OMi'dRthou but (Eh. l£tbdli
^fbehowfoon thy AbTcnce, su]d Mif-fortoncs have didianded all
thy FricnJs, and tutn'd thy Slaves all Rco^ado's, thou fine
won'dfi pttze my only fidthfii] Hnrt. . .... Baittr

! ' ^di^ VX**^ Flippant, t^aia, IfalteT. ra tier.
.PB.^ mdM Shephetdds -, buE tiuly, I 'had not kept
nty waM wirti 700, in cotning tnck to Ni^t, if it had not .
beea^ i^his Lady, who has hex intrigues too with tiic Felknnt,
as wdl is Tou..

cbnmdit to ficg ytiuis ; bt4ng jufi now puifu'd out of the Parle
1^ a Relation of mine, br whom it imports rae extreamly not
to be di^aM 1 but I fear he is now at the docw.

Let roc deftrcf ou to deny tae to bim coura^uuflf ,

(Jo Ilabpl g^ng em*
Foiiie wiQ haidly Jielieve he an be miffafeen in toe.

Giri. ' In &di an oocafioil where impudence is requifite, Qtc
wtlfferVcyoa, ay faithfully as jrou can Willie Madam.

T^, Come, oomc, Madam^ do not UfAxnid hnf wii& tier
sflTur^nee. a qualification that only fits her for a toadies, .Sei-
VKki a hn^ Woman of the Town, an m no mKTre witl>ouc a
Wonoiii' riiat ail make an excufc with an Affurance, than Qw ,
cad be without a Gla6 cettainly.

Cbri. She needsno Advocate.

Slif. Hqw can anycHK alone niaKage an Amorpus tncriau£ {
the' the Bird* are tame, fbme Body nuift hclff draw the Net i
If !tweie not (or i Woman that could matte an excufe widi
aflhram:^ how ftioi!i*d we weedlcy pltj trace, dlfcover, coun-
trrmfbe> .uDdcin)iiu,uid Idow tip die ffioking Fellows, which
is all the ple^c 1 rnxive, or de%n by them i /or t nevrr ad-
mitted 2 Man tomy ConTerfaiion', iMltfotMs PuniQuncnt cet«
ttinlF- -tr

Cbri, No body will dou1>t that certainly,
tlabcl Retmni.

Ifs. Madam, the Gentleman will not file tAiftalmv he f>M
yodate hae, he &v^ yoi^come in; he it your Rdadon, DU
Name's A()^(r, and is come to wait upon you borne > I had
teuch wit) ro keep him frbm coming up.
. I^d. Madam, for Heavens fake help me, 'tis yet iii your
EWer,ifbut whilcltetireiintoyoutDiali^ioom,y6uwiBf4a(e
K> perfonate me, (To Cbitiiw

and own yoiic k% for her be purfu'd out of the Park ; youare
in Mournbig too, aiid yoin Statutt To madtx miae, it will not
yo* Bb a Skit

37^ tovt iff a Wud^ Or,

Chri. I am fixry, Mubn,! rouft difputo iny Comimnd of
jroun^ IhavemacleaRcfolutitt^tolcctheFaceof noMui,tiII
sn Unfortunate Friend o{ nuoe, now oiu of the Itiogilodi,

,ietuni.

Lyd' By that Frlnid> and by the Hopes you have to (cc him,
let toe con}iiie you to.keqp nac from the fi^t c^ mioe now*
DeaT Madani> let ^ oui Chaiity prevail oveir yoiu Supofiitioiu
Ifa. HccomcSj he cbmesj. Madam.
Ranget Etttert.
Lydia wuhirawt^ and fimds uufem M tU Atr*
XtfAHa/ this is no'l^Jia.

Chri. What unworthy Defamo has encouragM you to oflet
this Infutence.

Rtm. She is likn Lydia in ber Stile, thati her Faa; I fee I
am midalten} but to tell her I followed her for aoothct, were
an AAont, ratliet than an Excafe > Qic*5 a ^omxis Cmtuic.

Chri. TcUmc, Sir, •»&€!«€ had youHfafon, for this you£
rude parfuit of mr, into my Lodgings, my Chamber i why
flioutd you follow me?

Ran. Faith, Madam, bccauTc you run amy from UK.

Cbru That was no I'l^ of ^n. Acquaintance.

Rtfjj. You'll ^rdon me, Madam. ' '

Chri. Then it feeais you rnJ^oDk me.fisr another, and the
Nig^t i; your Escufc, which blots out all Diffindions : But
iiowyou aie fatistirdiii your'i»ii1ake, I hope, ;^ouwiQ(eekout
your Woman in anorher place.

Ran. Madam, I allov not the Excufc.you make fox me i If
1 have Offended, I will rather be Condemn'd for my Lotc»
than Pardon'd for my Infcnlibility.

Lyd. How's that > (BtiiMd.

Chri. What do you fay .? '
. Ran. Tliough the night had been darker, my heart wou'd
not have fuffci d me to follow any one but yaa j he has been
toolong acquainted with you, to miftakcyou. "

Lyd. What means this tendemefsi bcmiliookme for hei
. fute ? (BtbinJ.

Cbri. What fays the Gentleman f did you know me then,
' Sir ? ' " .

D,l,z.:;,C.OOg|i:

-St. JamcsVftirJt 3^3

Km, Not T, riie Devil take me, but I mull on now.

CAfJu
Cou'd jiou Inia^r, Madam, by the innumeraUe- crowd of
your Adnuiers, you had left any Man firce in the Town, or
igporant of the Power of your Bnuty f

Cbri* 1 neirir livw-your iaot before, that t remrniber.

Rmi. Auh Miulam ! you wou'd nerer regard your huirditcft
Slave i I was tUt now a iiuMleft Lover. .^ •

I^Z Falfift of Men, ' . '{Bthind.

Chri. My Wdoun ^d,' ypu cunc to (eek a Reiatiba here,'
XKAthUBtnb. :

Rm. I muft; dbrtfeCt, Madam I dipught yon wou'dfooner
dl&arore my diflbnbkd Errour, dian admit my Viflt, and was
tetohr'dto&eyaa.'

. tyd, 'Ttl cteu. . . ■ fBetinJ.

, Rms. Indccdy''iwfa(n T foQow'd you firft ont of the Park,- 1 :
wasafrud youmight have been ascertain Rdation of mine,'
ibr your StaOosB and Uabifs arc. the fame t but when you entet'd
hae> Iwas with joyconvinc'd: Bclidcs, I would not for the
yVb^ have-^iothei troubtefoinffLovc, lb much-cncounge-
nwn^ 10 havctdift^'d n^fotv^elAddrtfles toyoii^ .farihe-
FooliO) Woman do'sperjpctuallytOEHieQcmc, to makeour Rc>
btieanmbi'faac never more iii Vain, than fiacclbavc ^cn
you. Madam. ■>■:

T '^r^ How, ChaB'Lfuifer this i 'ti^ ckar hcdifappi^tad mc
to:n^ ibtliar,:idd piade me ftay athomc, thatl migfu lioc -
dififiipoint him^ber Gocnpny m tM Park. {£ehhtJ,

Cirii I.amiamaz*d! but let "me' tdfcym. Sir, if the Lady
\ifln>ber9, I wo»'d&ti5tiehai!:Ae:figjbiaf nuflMMfdiKVet
ftuflmc ^ AuMd oB t dcfipts iponhei cruel KJnfinari. ..

Lfd. I wifli 70U cou'd &tisBe me. (BehmJ.

Xm. Iflhc weieJine, (he .wbuM fitttsfie you, flie were not
cafH^ of the Honour to be taken for you (thot^in the dark)
faith^ myCadtiaisbataTtolcnUs Woman to a man that had
noc~ Jtenyouk ''a? .'

Ciri, Sure to my Plague, this is the firft time you ever &w

OK? .-■ »..■)■

Ren. Sure to the Plague of my poor heart, 'tis not the hun-

drtth cimc 1 have (een yoa i for iince the time I (aw yoi> tirft,you

have not been at the Park, PUy-houle, Exchange, or «hc( pub-

Bb 3 ' lidf

374 ■'^^ i^o-IVfifid^ Or,

lick [jace, bot I &w yoa > fi» it was my bnliDds to w^tdb aaj

follow.

C^ Pray, when iH fou fte me hft «ttheF«r£, Fisy
Houfei ut Evckaagt'*.

R<M. Some two, thrRi^iys, ocaWeckagD. .

ebri. I'hvcnoc been this Month coiofiUrCtHnkber.

!.>£ That is to ddude ni«. * > V (JBrimV.

Gbn. I knew you woe mifiakoL

Rm. You'll pardon a Lovers Memory, Madam
ApQX, Ibavebang'd my rcW in. ihy owir:Uiie, onewotrd
think, my perpetual ItHuck inlying, fliould break meoCdie
quality i. but like a toting Gahiftu, 1 an fitf for poOling on,
till none will tniftnob , ■ i-J^jHf*

. Cbri. Gome, Sir, you lun out of tme Enow }fMQ zfftitOt
y6u Woldd Escufc the rudcnefs of yout miftakc, and inteafion
at this houri into my Lodangs mth por-g^tBiiy to m^
more HnlcafQaaUe and offflnuvb

Rmu Ha;-, 1 am in lore I fee, forlhluQi) andiRtfle apta
w<HKlto&y'f(Uroy (elf. ': .

Cbri* Bat, Hr, if you wffl needs pby' t]K.,GiUaitt> ftssf
lemeaiyHoufeteroKMiiniiaftleftytti Qioit'dtfaefao go Woe
to the &andal o( my Honntt -. ■

. Ckri.: Rathcc than th^t Siou?d be, I'H call op the HenlaiMd
Neighbours to bear witnefs, I Ind you be axx,

Rd»..^aot you take a ai^t vifit ia i!t,%bfiaih, I will ncva
Wait u^jyoB again, bat bff day} I-gbi'^^l nay hi^
to return,,' and for once, I wiA yam g^A^jha.wiihoutjn&

Cyi. Goodiught, fiaras-br^asIIiVc ...;4fix. Ranger.

Xy. And good nigl^ to my lore, V^ lArjv ■ r-UmL

Cbri.VMS^Wiant ddne you an itiiwirthiUMi farioi^ I
affurt you, - ■ ' - '■'■"!.'■■ .

Madaoij yoii arc not a Htde oUtg'd to me. .
Pardon cDe^: dear VMm'm. C^.

I^d. Iknownotyer, whodKtlam norcobUg'd thanb-
iur*dt when Ido, I aflfurc you. Madam, I fluQ not be iafio-
libleordthcri . ' '

Cbri. I lear. Madam, you are as IbUe to mVlakfs as yov
Kmlinan. ,

t': Lyd. liear,. 1 aao iDonfiibjed to *c% iitmf be ia mat
ofileq^ dietefoce I'll go boBic. ....<.■ v.

^"' "'^" CM,

' ' Chl Uy Lady fJiffMott good Night.

FiiP. Good Night* (» tamer good Morrow, faithful Shep*

Ckri. 1*11 vrat of you down.

JLyJ* yoat Coadi fl»/s yet, I hope. ,

F/ji/. Ccrt^y.

The SeetKf Thi S$rtet,

Eater Ranger, and Dapperwit.

Ddf, X was a fekhful CentincI, no tpdy came out, let me
pctilh.

Rm. No* no, I hooted, upon a wrong fcent ; I chought 1
tud foUow'd a Woman, but found her an Angel.

J>tf/. What is her Naiqc >

Ran. That you muft lell me i What very fine WoAtin is
there lies hacabouts?

DM0 Faith, 1 koow not any., (he is I warrant you fome
fine Woman, of a Terms Handing ot To in the Town ; iuch
as fddom a^fcar in publick, but in their Balconies, wISere they
ftand fooHilHntlf, one wou'd think thcjr had bit'd no other
partofthcHoure. /

JUn. And look like the PidtuRs,. whidi Falntcts npoTc to
draw itr Cuflomersi but I muA know who (be is, FthctHt's
Lod^ng is hard by, I'll gp and enquire of hiin, and lye with
him to nt^ i but if he will not kt me, Til lye with you, fw
my Lodging is too far off — '- — ■

i>af, Tbcn I wUI go before, and cxpcd you at mine. (Ex*

Tit Scent, Vinccnt'x Losing,

£Mer VilKCnt, ofd Vakolinc, in « riJi^ Haiit, «i niwly
from a Jowntyt ' ^ 'i '

Vtti. Yoiu: Miftids, dear Vdmtint, will not be more gM
tofeeyou^ but my wonder is no Ic6 than my ioy, fbat yoa'
wou'd return ere ycHi wen informl'd .C^MVff wcir'e put of
Dlt^Ser 1 his SuEgieons themfelvcs, have wX bccni0iirM 0^
his iccowry till within thcfe two days.

Vol. I^t'd my NUtlrcls, not my Utci-my Li&Icou'd
truft agaia witti my old Enemy, Foituac > bit doc longer,
Bb 4 ' ' r-

\yC Li/vein a Wood^ Ot,

uvj MilbcG, in the hands of my gieatet Enen^ ho: Rela-
tions. I

Vin. Your feat was in the wipng Place then, fbi though my
Lord C/erifiRwr live, he and his Relationsi may {lai you in mote
[>angei of youi4ifc> thaa youx Miftrdfci Hdadons can Of lo-
fing hci.

Vtl. Wou'd any cou'd, fecuie her, I wou'd my iclf Ceojxt
my Life, for I fliou'd value it then.

ViU' Cofne, come, heiRelationscandoyounohutts Idate
fwcar, if her Mother fhou'd but iay, yout Hat did not cod
handfocnly, Qie wou'd never ask her BleiSing again. ■

VmI. Pmhee leave thy footing) and tell me, if fince my de-
parture, She has given tvidcnccs of ha LcAre, to dear thole
dtHibtsI went away with i for asa'bfenceis'thebancof com*
tnon apd baftaid Love -, 'tis the vindiatioii of that, whidi is
true and generous. ■■■■■■■

Vin. Nay, if you coq'd ever doubt her love, you deftrve to
doubt oni for there is no-punifliioent grieat enough for jcalou-
lic, but.jca!oufie. ' .

Val. You may remember, I told you before my flight, I had
quarreli'd with the defimcr c^my MiAr^fe^ hut thought I had
kill'd my Bival.

yiti. ' But pray ^ve me now the Anfwn, which the fuddcn-
nefs at .your flight dcny*d me > how cou'd Cltrimtnt ' hope to
fubdub her heart, by theafTault of her [ibncxu^

Vat.'Pifh, it might be the Stratagem of a- RivaT, to matte
mcdefift.

^tn:'FW fhame, tf'*twerenot-rathcrto vindicate ber» riian
fatisiie you, I wou*d not tell you, how like a Ptmlofe the has
behav*d her in your abfence. ■ - ' .^

Vtd. Let me, know.

Vhi: Then kftow^ At Hext day you Went, flie put her Icif
into mourning, ani - ■^ '

rtf/.^That might Bt for C/enwOTf.thinkinghimdewIj acall
the World beiides thought.

^fc..^.SHIl turning -ftie Daggers point oii your fcif, hear me
out"; -f %' flit put hcrfcff in jo Mourning for you — locked hitr
felf in her Chamber, this Month for you ■■— " ^fliutoot her
barking Relations for yon '— has not (een the.Sun or the Face
pfMan, fincclhefawyoa K .'. - thinks, arid talks of notHiog
' ' ■ . ■ but

but yai— — feD& to tnc daily to bear of yoti— and in Ihon

CI tluDk) is mad for you—' all this I cap fiirear, for I am

to bet fo Dcai'a Ndghbour, and fo inquifitive a Friend foe

SirvMt.tt tbem.

Str. Mx< Ran^f Six, is coming up.

Hh. What bnngibiianow? lucomestotye withme.

ral. Who, Rsi^i

yhh Yes, pray retiic a little, till I ibid blmofT, unlefi yoa
have a mind te have youi arrival pubti&'d fo monow, in the
Cofiec-Houtcs.

Xm. What, not yet a-bed> your Man is laying you toflce|k
(ValoitincrMmi Mfj&t dmhtti»d,
with U^ebaugh or Brandy, is he not fo ? i

Vith Wliat punk will not be ttouUed with you to iii|^
tberefine I am, isitnotfo?

Xjjt. I have been tura'd out of dcois indeed pit now, by a
Woman, but fuch a WcKiian, Vinctnt — >—

ViiC Yes, yes, your Womm ate always fudi Women——

Rin. ANcighbourof yours,and rmrurcthelinellywilian.

Vin, Prithee do not afpcilc my Neighbourhood with your
Acquaintance^ 'twould bring a Sandal upon ^ Alley. >

Ran. Nay i do not Imow bcr, thciefcHre I cotne to you.

Vm. ^Twas do wonder ihfr. turo'd you out oiiooif then ; and
if (he had known you, 'twould have been a wqndei (he had V^
you ftay i but where docs flie live I

J6n; Five Doors off m the ti^ hud.

Pi».' Pifli, pifll- •

Rstt, What's the matter ?

Vm. —Docs file live there, doywfiy? .

Am. Yes, lobfetr'ddwmcxat^l/, that my account from
you, might be as exaft i do you know who lives there ?

Vtn. Yes, fo wdl, tlut I know you are miftaken.

Rmw. I* (be not a young Lady fcarcec^hteen, of eztiaoidi-
nary Beauty, her ftaiore next to low, and In Mourning >

FmK Whati>tlus> (BehinJ.

Vin. She is i but if you law her, you broke in at Window.

iU». 1 chas'd her home from thcPark*, indeed, takii^ her (ot
another Lady who pti fomc daim co my heart, 'till Ihc fhnv'd
a better ittk to't.

3?3 LmiMM Wonts Or,

Vh. H>h,hih,hah.
fW. Was Ok at Puk then? trAhxnl* newRin]>

' Fin. From the Pvk did you follow her, do you fay, } knnr
you wac niiftakcn. •

Ran. I tell you I am not.

Tm. If you are ftirc,,!! wisthatHoafat it nightbcperfups
her Woman llokn to tlie Park, unknown tp ha Lady*

Rm. My Acquaintance does uliulty begin viA the Mud
fifft, but now 'twas with ihc Mitbds, I affon yoo.

yin. The Miltrcfi.' I tell you, (he has not beta cat ei ha
doors Once F'tffciUifK's Sights QieH bb II1iAIe&^tilegtcatHei^
c& Ckri^na. ,

Kam. I tell you then again I fbllow*d that Ckrifiin*, &om
Ac Park home, where I talk'd widi het hadf an bomr, md in-
tend to fee her to Morrow again.

VaI. Wodd (bo talk withhtm too? ' {Bilamd.

Vm. It cannot be

'Ran. Cbri^mm^ doyoucaUhec? Faith I aov Iboy Ae is an
Hrirefii left it fhoukt Imng the Scandal t^'wti^sdk, and delign
«f Licre Upon my Lore.

f^m. No, noj ho Face uid Virtues wlK free yeu hem that
ccnfiirc) but'bowevar, *ti» not iuity done tolUval your Friend
fydntme ih M» abCtact \ and when tie is prdeat, you know
^«wili bedangnous, by my Lord eUerimtrn's Exanpts i hUh
ifyou have iecn her, I wcxild not adnfeyouto attempt itagain.

Ran. YoHmay betnerry^ Sk, youare ROtin Lbve» your
adrice I come not for, noc will I for your aiTiftance » good
Night.

Fal. Here's your Tettelsftt the Woman tbat (Sk. Kangct^
:lnd notfien the Sun, nocE^oFMan, Cnca tny departure >
fori: Iccms (be goes out in the night, vhen- tbeSonisab&nt,
and faces arenot di(Hi%id(h'd.

Ww. Why; do you believe Mm ^ •

ral~ Shou'd I bdiere yoa f

Fm. Twere'iporc for your intacft, andyou wou'dbctds
decriv'd i if you bcliejrc litffl> you muft doubt the Qiaftity of
»I1 the fine Women in Town> and five miles' about;
' yal. His reports of ilicmj wiH linle invafiditc hitteffimoqr
with me. > , *

y»i.

St. J^pMsV/WAr S79.

ffm, Iklpam wt the InnQCPtt w Bifai tod AptonsCrO fe-

cuityou)heh»iracleUtbeftjfoaKgtofi raift^ concerning.

let us go ilerp. ' '

Fsi. 1 wittife^hiMiT yw»> tocwft I cmnoc myqi it my felf i
Hiager, KeimKt, fcfltef' art fnmy fW>

ACT m. SCENE L,
Crofebite'f Houji'

E«(fr M-i. JoyiKT, JMr/. Cro&bitfr
.jFyir: ^Qwl Morrow G«aip. :

VJI ^W* Good Sbnow i but why up fe e^dy*
gpodGoflip^
. Joyn. My <Mt knd paffiomtt conenm for yoi^ aad yovts*
vroaM «ot letiMMft On mlyj

C»y^ Fcaibfitnd-iniiw^ . ' '

J»y>u YoitiEK>w,iKhw«fci»mMiic another Imgvl dwifc
it M (boe nine jdJ thirty YmM te« you vkn aaEVffedb

Cnf. N&KiftdThiEty YfwspU^MiMsf rafa4v«yoQto
k«ow, I M no facbDra ChiU k ml ifthcRqiflaJi«dm>c
fapBDliamM in the Ul gwM fuik «lMi but ny .P«oc muds oa
R^Oa&rc: MneaadThuivXeift oU> fatdyw?

Jtyn. I &id you had been fbiong Murried i huCimkcd, 700-
faoar yem ycin js wtflas Of Ok ^'JP<(jyrr>^if«jb

Cray: Kinc and TMrty, tUJ^Mai

Jiya. Thii ft.il 9 • WoBiaii^ Bd^v^yii b>fL Mther ytn
(hould find her faulty with a Man, I wananj^ yoM*.- ttu dUcoWF'
hvAge, IwmmitiHiUi - 1 : . /'

Cnf, Mrananl liitfaeganteftitaetfav.i^.fUilcrfafr
ff Rich, *Qd.a Wenan flic ts o|d i- you will get -no Money of
hion,. n« Kiodne&pf her .* To \A\ ocj wmMiwvid Tbjitya
(Lfoy no mow) *twu Unnpgbbouriy dono ofyoq, M^refi.

'Jejn^

^So LfveimaWatd^ Ofy

fm. Mf Metnorr coafeifti ny Age, k fanos, « mudi a
in; riotv W' ' thought —

Crtf, Pny talk, noc think no niDFe any Odd Age; buc&y,
whit twought you hidm ib eaily i

yapi: How doet my fweet €bd-dati^«cc ? IVmm Wictdi

Cnf Welt, Tery wdL

3^#)r». Ah Tweet Cicxtme; alis, alas^ lam fbnyforher.

Cnf. Why, what has Qie done to 6eum your Scnxow, oi

ny RepfcfaeafioQ f . .

Lucy eemet to tbt door,

Zjtej^ Whatf ate tttcy t^lkiagt^mc? {BthimL

Jtjn. In Ihort (he was feeh going into the Mectlng-houle of
Ac Wicked, otheiwife call'd a Cliy-hoiile> band in fund, widi
iSofA Tile fellow Daf pern/ft.

Cra/. ttlt.DMfftnviti let nie tell you^ if *twae not 6x
Mafler Vantntit^ we might ha«c lJv*d all this Vacation up-
on Giecn-Cheefe> Tripe, aiid Ox-cheskV if be Had it, we
ftoukl not witit it i but poM Qemlemxni it bfeen goes haid
with him, for he's a Wit.

Jtjn- So then, you art (h« Doe to h/t fed, wKile die Houfe
b&okenup-, I fay beware, tht-twcet bitsyM^ifwiUow, will/
nuke your' Daughter's Belly fwcll* Mtflvc&snuidfeiitcr all your
JbnkAd^ dine Will b* i>buwfer>iMo«kJci Mit)«e&

Cnf. Savt^ Maftct Vif^iimiitBUDmi itiinnerdfiNlan?

3^«^-HchaWi(; yoki^ and wtm ar^'WJtt? butcoi-
temncfsof-litatrads, ScdocerSiOi'Debmcks iif ttunicd Wo-^
ttwn, and DtifloURfs of htlplefeiTli^ity, ;epen. in the Sartor
ttpon th^ mry'Bilks^ AftotUciv^of diidnghtMagifiracy, and.
Breakcfsof Windows in inrotiJi- : ' ' i y>

Cruf. Buthitsa.littk Witi'ii sudefl WitfiaBdihcydow
rtlchoutragk»»thingsas^^llr;gt«^cWicsIo^ £ --.■ ' •

Jofn. Hiji ldare%, he wiUnot fay h'u&ftlf he is a little
wit, irynailkJwnl' ■ I i.>* .-j vi!;. ,'; ., .

lucjf. Nay I cannot hear this with R^ticncc t vith yooc
('JJfJe.i' PaidAni Mottmi ^m ni- buk^ trdSakcn as Oiy
God-mother Ifi Mr. Ditfpii^i i for he is as greata Wit as any-
and in what he fpcaksOF wA^^happyis any ', I cut aifiirc you,
he ccKitci&ns all your tearirtg Wits, iri cotitpatilbnof himfel£

Jcytt, Mas, poor young Wrctchj I cannot blame thee (b
ffluc^ as diy Mocber> for thou art not thy felf > his be

witching

St. Jdmt&'j-Ptrk' , 381

vr!tcluiig M«iiwsUs have dianii'd dux into fomc Heatbcmfli
Imp wkh a hard name.

Lme/. Nymph,' you mean, Ood-roMher.
Jofn. But youGoffip, know what's what > Yeflcidayj a$
1 told you, a fine Old Aldcnnan of the Cicy> ftebg youi
Daughtn in fo ill tnndsas DMftrmit\ was zalonfly, aiM in
pure Chirity,; bent upon her Kcdcmption ; andhas fent ineto
tell yoUi he will Uke het into his caie, and iclkve your necct
fitics, ifyouihtnkgood.

Crof. WiUhcTcUcveallourneceffitics?
J<yn^ AIL

Cnf. Mine, as well my Daudita's?
. Jay». Yes.

Craf. Well ^ his heart-, d'ye heat E)auehter, }An.Jmf
er has (atisfy'd me deatly i 'Dafpcnvit isz^ FeUow, and hi
fhort, you muft put an end to that fcandaloui &m31arity be-
tween you.

iMcy, Leave fweet Mr. Dappmi/'tt — Oh fiirioui ii^;ratitiide !
wasnotbctheMan that gave me my fiift Fanendon Gown,p(K
me<«it of WoiAed Stockings, and f^un Haiidke(chie&, tau^
me to dre&t tilk and move well ?

Crof. He has taught you talk indflcd i but, I]afwi&, I will
not haye my pleafure difputed,

yojin. Nay, indeed you aie too tait with her, poor fwcct
Soul.

Luejf. He taught mc to Kebearfe too, wou*d have bn»ight
me into the Play-houfe, where I might have had as good
luck as others; I might have had good Cloaths, Plate, Jcweb,
and things fo well about mc ; that my Neighbours, the little
Gentlemens Wives,- of Fifteen HiAidicd, or Two Thoufand
Pounds a year, {hould have letir'd into the Country, fickwith
envy, of my Piofpeiity and Grealnefs. ...

jcyn. If you follow yqur Mother's Coun&l, yoa arelibe ttf

enjoy all you talk of {doner ) thmhy Dappeniiit*% aflTiAancei

a poor Wretch tjiat goes on tick for the Paper he writes his

Lamfoens on; -apd the very Ale and Coffee that infpiies him

as they fay.

' Crof. 1 am credibly informed lo, indeed. Madam Jmer.-

I Jtyn. Well, I havedifcharg'dmy Confcience} goodMor-

' row to you both.

' . . Enter

^^8i tavkin»^4>0di Or,

finffrDippfXwit, Rwgtt) CxD^H^^DMti^kitm'.

l>£f. This is the CaUnet in which 1 hide my Jmt\, a fimn
Hou{c, in an obfcuic, littk, lAircd ftract (00.

Km. Vulgarly m Alky*

P«^ Ni7, 1 hide tny t/iyksA *itb « mudi Ctr^ as a
^pult oflheTowndo'sbisMmKy&BnifailOliii^ aftetagood
httndctfPby; and nothing but y^flou'dfutei^nxlght open
roc for a figttf of her, ki ac periQL

Kan, My obligation to you is great j do not feSffl it by de*
lays, oE the favour joa pronu&d.

Ddf, But do not cenTute my Honour, for if you had Dot

ixcn ii) a dcfporate conditkw" — fcnr u one na5 muft

ixat dit another, one foyfoo expel another, (Hie Are dnw out
another, one tk of dritildng cure the ficknefi of mother i lb
the Surfot you took bft Night of Cbriftmit feyts. finHbfe
awed by Zive^'i this Momii^, or as -^

Ran, Niy, I bar more Similitudes.

D»f. What, in my Miftieffis Lodging^ dtttwCRasiiari
ai to bar a young Par&n in the Palptt, the Af A of liaPtmAtTt
i^ngattbeCharchof Keww; or as hard to put yoii to Bed
to i^^> and defend you toucbbg her» or aB.-.. ■ ■ ■—

Xi*f. Or as bard as to makcyou boldyoat Toogiie— -I
(ball not fee your Miftrels, I Gie ^

D0f. Mi& iM^^ Mi& X«cr— .

\¥iMci.t at thedtcTi tni rehmul
thcDevUtabe nte, if good Men fl Ciy twinore) have not
been upon their Itaocstome, to fee her, and you at laft muft
obtain ir.

Ran. I do not believe you.

D4f. 'TlHiidi as ibc, (fat ii beautiful, wlthootaSedatioh;
amorous wiAout unpertincncy i dry, and brisk without im-
pudcuce j frotic^ without nidcneb; and ia a word, l3x juOcft
Creature faa^thitw to her affignation.

Rmi. YoupraUeher, as ifyouhadaf^indtopAt Mridiher ;
and yet you rdolve, I fee, to keep her Co your Idf.

Daf. Keep ber, poor Creature^ (he cannot leave me ; and
lathertban leave her, I wou'd leave writbigLanipotms OK Son-
nets alnfoft.

Rmi Well, ru lean you with her Aem

St. }aaaei'$-Par^. 3S9

Daf. ^V}lat, willyougowitboutftcinglia^
Ran. Rather than flaymthootfccing hor.
Viif. Yei} fcs, yonChall &ehcr'> but letntcperilh ifllnve
not been oficred a Hundred Guinies for z fight ot bei ; by-——
l^y no inoK.

Ran. \ uRdnftand you now ; if the iinrour be to be purchi*
fed, then 1*U bid all I havcabout me for't. (Afi^,

D»f- Fye,fyc, Mr. Ranger, you arc p)ea&nt'i(atth i doyoU
thinki wouid feU ihcBgbtof my Rarity ? hkc thofe Gentle-
men t^ hang oat Flags at Cbariw-Criifi, or like—*
Ran. Nay> then I'm goneagam.
ZM». What, you tske it ill I reMe your Moocy? tatha than
that fliou^d be> give us it ; but take notice 1 will bcnrawiti
bow I think ctt'Cj C/Kj wants r Oowoi and Ibmc Knubs.
JtM-Here.

Di^. ButlmttftparitTm^n; IwiQnotcakeb, nakls
you eiigage your honour, ! OiiIl.|>ay it you again.

Rom, You muft pardon me i I wiS not eagage my hooout
for iuch a trifle ; gofetdiherottt.

Daf. WeU, Qk's anviiliBogCmtun, fiicfa Eyes and LipL
Mr. R«i4^r.
JIM. Pntheego.

Vaf. Such Neck and Bieafts, Mr. Ranger.
Rm. A^ain, prithee go.
J>ap. Stxh Feet, L<^, and Ht^hs, Mr. iiM^
Rait, fiithtc tet me fte 'em.
' Dof. And a Mouth no Ingger tfian a Ring i I necd-Ciy. no
nunc.
Ran, Wou'd thou wet*t never to fpeak again.
Dap4 And then fo neat, lb {weet a Crcatuie in Bed, dun
tomyknowlcdgc, (he do*i not change her Sheets in half a year.
Aifk I' thank you for Aatallar to my impatience.
Daf. VB&Lmj^ MifiLitfy, Mils. {Kmelp^ at tit doer.
Rim. Will (he not open?

D£f. I am aftaid, my ptety MKs is not ftiningi and theifr
fore will not adndt us.

Dtp, Fycj fyc, a quibble next your ftomadi hi a Morning;
what if Ok fliouM imr us, woiiM you lofc a Miftiefi for a qu^-
Ue! that's tunc than I cou'd do, tetmcpcrifli.

R0I.

^$4 ttwi'ntWofid.i Or,

Am. Is {be hot »>nc hn walk to £«n^f-CoDdiut >-
Dttf, She if within, I heat ha. ^ . ■ .

RtA. Bat (he will not heat you i flie's as dea^ as if you
were a Dun or a ConfhUr. ,

Dm^. Pi(h, give her but leave to gape, lubherEfcs, and
put on her day Pinrier ; the long patch under the left Eye i'
awaken the Rofes on her Cheeks, with fooic ^>aniQi Wooll,
and warrant her breath rtith fome Lemmon Peel i the doors
flic off of the hindges, arid Ok into ihy Anns i (he knows
AnebastDuch Anitfce to kcepaviftory^ as to gab it ; and
'ds a (^ flic values the fonqueft of my horti ■ .

IE jn. t thoaght hec Be»ity had not ftood in qecd (if Art.
. D0f. Beauty^ a Coward,' ftiU with out the help oT Art, and
may iUvc the fortuneof a CoDcpieft, bat cannot keep it s Beauty
and Art can no more be aiiinder, than Love and Honour.
Rmh. Or to fpeak more like your fdf. Wit and Judgmedt.'
Vtpt Don't you hear the ddbt Wag yet i
RMm. Not a whit.

DajK Mifi, Mi^ 'tis your flare thit calls i come, all &&
Tricking fix lum i lend me yoiu Comb, Mr. Rfigtr.

Rm. Ho, I am to be preferred to day, you arc to (et m6
offi you are in Poflfeffion i Iwillnot lend you Armstokecp

meout- ■*

Dsf. APbx, don*tletnMbeungratciul; ifOiehtSfiiuigg'd
her (cjf up Sx me, let me Ihuae) and Fbuilee my Peniqiie a
linlc for her ; there's ne'er a yoting fellow lii the Town but
will do as much for ameer ftruiger in the Play-hon&

Ran. A Wits W% has the privilcdgc of being uncomb'd ia
the Very Play-houfc, or in the preGmcc— — ■ -

Da^. But not in the ptcfencc of his Mifhels i 'lis agrcatci
neglei^ofher thanhimfelf ^ pray lend tnc your Comb*

Ran. I wou'd not hive men of Wit, and Courage, make
vie of evry Fopi mean Arts, to keep, or gaina Miftrc&

DapTZat don't you fee every day, though a Man have iftvcr
fo much Wit and Courage, his Miftrds wiU revolt to thofe
Fops that wear, and .Comb Pcruqucs well i I'JI break off th*
Bargain, and will not.receivc you, my Partner.
Ra^. SlieTeforcyourcelamicttinguplbrtey.letfl'

(Comkt bit Ttrk^m

Papi

Dof. Shc'tomfej'ffie coibesi'pnyiydat Gwnfc.' -^

iCrt/: BareiiiJTJ'WhiitateTroii offering us RjfaW? ■•-' ■
' Dap. A Pox, it's (he? hoc take yourConlbigaiirdKn.

{Rth&nttbtCmh.
Cr(./.WoiMifedenas?%SlikeyOTy'&ds,: '' '
'- E)3«i'Sell^ttt«!-;'ivhm(htHi'a W'tmdaChapiwrff? gopri-
'tfiee'Molb«'V«nofitmyDe»Trtifli.*;. ■ -' - »•

■ Crty:"1ft>fit>'Mfft t»e/i'l"*do''n6fW3iidcr yon have the
-CeofrtetSra «)*JtgaWrOT us btMndour bacfe^'fiKce Jod bavc

tlit!.^pilderict! ro cblm a ptop^ty in ds tb mjf fdtre.
■■' J61W' Ho'<(ftdift,' V/ffptftpjr;' ' '- "" - " ■> '-

CW^. CoiDC, ccxnc, this Gentleman will not.think the woric
'^4<W6mai»i^fof'myAcquairttan«^M>kh tier ; W'rfaff'fen me

Iwing your E)aughter to the Lurt witha ^hiocy'Orahge,' from

on*fiifc*fih8'pfe)PAiwr<'*o*fc«heif:^- ■ ' " ■;:'•■'

CrW^ I wou'dhavethcGemlntaWi, and ybd to.kn6*i my
■Sfl^hflf itfia^V 6PR^potatK»,"ilii3iigh fhe has '!ifeen''irTn jq
'V(^#Co*ntifl(}'^ butfenbvTBfwfiHfe^ofhci paftdth^er; Th^t
'■*te Ntefol¥'<l»nW« mp(c to Vfeiturt'ftcr Ktche^ ip fhff'Wclt,

Daf. How's that Wjdow ? I .wonder at your confidence. '
.' 'tfof. iWdHaeif"a't-y6urt)kfefrtiftSdt^, that *Witfcy6tl Have
had fo tiequciv fcpilfn, y^u 4bt%'^ pifiroki^-itTiiilBir, and
Mng your Friend here tb witl^ftf our'dif^itt.'.' '\\
"■ Dttp: milryimWiaDwalhiU- - - ' ' V ' ■

Crof What, have you Mortgaged my Diughtef to that
Gemlctnani and now wou'd offer nib 'a fni^ fdjoyri.in the
(canity. ■' ■■-• '- ^ '

' Dap.^&fht^Vmi rtie talk of i'ba^iinv'-'twaj unlucky.
. , "■■*•- ■■ ■■'-•{ Jftd/:

your WrithVgfoiindeiuppnaMiflakc: Mifr-£HAr Her fcif
Aa»^*«^iIftl^■'eH^hbr■bljtpn^■ ■ ■■ ■ ;■ <' :

Crof. Sheftulhrtt, -ihc vrttHiOf tt>rtie toyou, /• ■

2)«;>; Tilll'hdn it- from brti-ftATT mouth, -I cannot Believe

It. ■ .- .; :■.:..■- *

■ ao/IYCTJfljiUhfathetfift.throiighthe-dobr.' ■ '

£)«^ laaUddbbttti unleftfhefty it tomy-ftPrt' ■■ *.

■ Cf^'i Shiill-webdttonbled^itHyoiQiitfmwtlti^F' '' >

^86 Love ntaWaadi Or,

Craf'OiaK oatj Child.

(tuqr CMUn« dfimhirkaJ) t» titm.

J}af. YoMrSemot, Hiaau£^M% tanyoutoc? i ul^

c»y; LctmfKkher*

P«;. Noimukher.

Rjn. rilthlowupCia^Vt J1kwWfWi)9kh»

X»4;* Can you h9w ^ hoKt li9 fiiv, you vnU nciR OMM -
break a Cheele-CJilcfl wM) "K* «t New Sp^iqfc^Hoiaili the
Nc3^bou(e Of C^f'y^ nfvcrmoicft in pjjUrt'Neir
Playi iKramoKtpnwafvUof |hnottQ(pv^«wig(ii vkI
Uaofall, iicvamoM|)«|i»myw/UiiCTfiQcm«^IM«EilRi
in dK Gtcen-Ganet ^ m-^— w*4q nor (pfg/t th^ OtBCOi
Gamt.

Luey. ] wifli I M vam (kn tbe 0MqM3«Mi ; Oimi
the Onm-0«nt.

i>«^ DaoM the Gieeq-Ganc, yw avfl««iyl|^ alkr'J*

Lmtj. T» fou nc alicH.

D0f^ YouhavcRfis*aCp/ysMuIUny-QNnidR«ff«M^
houles. for rbe Ciccn<SuRt i and a, litde feoMCbiu m the
Gieca-Ganc^ picaf *d yoM mow thaq the M 7^ m ocbcr
naoes ctn*d yield i indoa yoaofa ttddcn^te Omar
Ganct?

Ijtiy. Sim you ban a dc$gii to pawn mcb* die Rcd^
'tis tjtne to icmove m; CSpoda.

i)«^ Thou an cxtieanily iDJAakcn,

ZjKy. BeOdcs, I have bcivd fwh finnge tlungs of yoa ias

Ds^ What things f

iMcy. I blufh to rpeak 'cm.

Daf, I luKnv nij lonoGOKCf tbcK&iictal^ my dfiiy ast
&TOUC » .ivhat have 1 done ?

i.«c^ Then bnow, tBq VlTit, ray Mothec baa confc&'dyifi
now, thou wa't &Ue tb me, to ha too certain kaoffidnliei
and haft 6ncM erdrba tobc £iUe to me tQA

i>««k Faults Jn drink, Jmj% wheq wr 9(« not qnr i^rc^
iboa*daot sondemn us.

Iney* And now to kt me out to bite IUbq H|duqr t itdl
you my own dfV Mother IhaUba^iin lot mc nQmwt tbere
aieulinlcasIcanbargiiafixthcinlclvc$iapW9-dity^ lawdl
as pfopcrer Women. C^

' <i>^ xhUtenng an this while ihinitorilbiiiantaliiii,

jitf. simt tut. Up.

. ' Jj^-ttUffki Ibr mei, you (uve Kckop'd fflthout joik

Dip. I.lHIR Mtith then, (D mat Mh yoo.
, Cnf. Ticit me noTicMtngii but take a wod foe all; yoa
AiH kib tnbit (Uhbooif mf Uuighta, tidi molefl mf Lbdg*
Ing^ asyouhavedomatanhoaii
' jdufk DayoakftAlltbdNiige'elll, then, toBriJtml, OC
Zo^tpHKiailig-tMlL .

O^, No, toadaEKHocle, to) then raifU faelocbD, I
pt^RxmCi as nbt to trouble i& -

' Main Heit, Wai Touhare my Coinb ;^un, DtpprnvH.

t>f. K Pat, I think Women take Mxnfiancy fiom m^
tntib dvifiom any Miii bRtthjngi

Cnf. Van, Sr, fbrgtt me, liefoie yon wnte your nexc ,

tamimt (Bx. cuA

$>r SilhHIl AJdleplot n >e«IW/; af < Cbri.

3tf Ran^ Md Dappetwit.

■^SlrSim, ItiTellbmKlyoilf haKl(b<inilroi« inyoiuliy-

vnflcs. Faith ml Troth f lamalnwAoutofhreathinfoUcw-

hgioi; Gemkoen when they get into an Mley, mlklb

tA, iBir they had mote eamefttn&efi thae^ thmintlx!

llnMl'invetSi

Dtf»: How oiiKthbS&thiAal! FflVtune faasfaithimto
taftmychokt. (.APi*-

ToaiUlpiieMRalal, who aie yon f that date inlnde thus oil
t^ iStrika himt

Sil' «!•! Bot« J* know ine Diffini* f fiiie you iTOw
ne; (Sijtfy.

Arti WBt thou ffilKoltar me iWi thy Acfmititina no »
thn Mcallt, ioliildit, Pen and Inkinan,

(SirHuiimifM.
• Sfrfsia. Oh, (Jlliirej youlnoi»me, jWykoowiitt

,i>M. Brttcfiwcyiamiliaiily, ihalliWdbeaMaikcr Ai -
Temfc-Coun, aBaiheioiaSlanthneikOofiic.

Strfi>i.Oh! ohi ■,
Oti t>V

-388 Lofftht a WiW^iOr,

.. i><^,iWbiita(tthou? .■ . :: (Kith him.

Sir Sim. Nay, I muft not difcovct my ftlf.,tp RMBgir, fm
I Kick or two * oh, pray hold, Sir^. lg[~fbitiTfou nSlJpiow
inc. .. w :!■ .^ (■fHUmtT:' iM ttltfter.

Dsp. How. Sir.Sfttm; ,. ...:d -/ii ^" . ; ........i-

.^5fr Siift, Mum, inom, make no excufcs, Min, f wou'd
not Ratvir {boa^d hwc ^wvn rae.6x,£yit..lainiitdm-'i^^
KWb. ■ ,■< ■-: -i .. ,^ -.,voi ■■■ .-.-i

Pf^ .y^ diTguifc i^,fo iTatcnal, I.fi|ot)((U, it JwU OK^

(W. ' .,■.:- ■.-,:,;; ,.■.'■-• i: ■ ., ,,,,

SirSimilkaov/lhata pikhn makf>tf)0[|naires,:1 £qis, 00
Ccierhcnybetweenthecandl, Mani .r<SB| thc,Let(a.,\..<''.
Dff.Whitt yoa haycpot cppen'd it? 1 . ,,- ■- ' .1'^
Sir Sim, Piithce don't be angry, th^Sfa1isaIittIcQac;IC<i<
for l-QDu'd not help kifTin&Mrs- Mart.bs'fi,_Laaf,i dw jfn^
is, now.or never, ht,! Fatncx fhe finds will bcxificaA a^ddi
day, and fhe Icuigs to fee your hiuf^ ^_^^fmm AiJltfi^:
Faith 'tis a pritty ycH, j - WhiJc I aai .witniia>' ami pniGng'my
fellfoher, at no ordinary latc ^ let th'ce'andl ^oqiv.tt^

InfrigUC. .- ..-, '. . „■ ■ ',.■ ,.,-;;" ^

Daf. Tell hei,.l,tyill,not iait to EQffther, at the {dac^
and time,- have a care .<>£ your chargc-i V)d4l9Dag^,)QW,bu>
iincSlikcyour felt, for yourfelfc ; , -r , . . > ^^^ii,.-,.

Sir Sim. 1 wamnt you. . ,j.., ,, - ... :

, ,2?j«i^ The gaining Gr^^sDau^Uct, }v£S UD^^fiipp^it
the loS ofihis young Jilt here. ' ' ... (umi

, J!«., What fcllow.'s that.?- .. ■.- .^-;. , -. ^ ". ■ .„.,;»
\ Dap. A Servant to a Friend of mine. .■,,,. •■

£4». M«thitiks be ^(»Dcthing rc^Ufs.pnr Acquui^ftnir,
$ii.S(flws, but it is no complement to' tell him Co i'fcHc'thU
Knight.is the molt ^egiausCoxcbmb, that crct,^;)^^ with
Ladies Fan.

Sir Sim. Soi thanks to,iny,di%iu^.>Ilitiow-iBy>E|icniic^

.■.y .'■.:'■' ' '(J^.

Smi. The moft incomgiblc A6, beyond the reproof of a
KickingHival, or.a frowning MiftieOi^ but if It bepoffiblc^
thou doll ufe hlni worfc than his Mill'ieB, or Rifal can j" tlwu
doft makefuchaCulfey ofhim.. -...,.

SirSim. Do's hcihink fo too ? ■:" ^ . (^^

.'•'<-'■ "*i' ^*t'
D, I...;;, Cookie

St JamesV-Af^.^ 389

*■ ' ■ - (E«5tt-Slmoa
a Pox, you woa'dTpat all, juft in the cHtka) time (^-^oje^ion,
he l»bi£^ me hdrc a ^invnons frtim his Miftrefs, to' meet ha
in the Evening > will you come to my^ Wedding ? -'

Rati. DoA't rpealt fo loud,- foi^l br^1( pooi^XMc^'s heart *
poOEcieatair; fliecaTlTlot leave ]Wi~v and lathcr tNiml^vehcT,
you fhouMIeWennAng'ttf LampoonS) oiStMitKtt' — ~^7A-
moft. ■ ■ ■ ' ■ ■■■■■■ ■■■■'. -^^ T. .

' Dkpi Cone, lettwr go, nngrateBil baggage; butn^you
t^bt Sonnen, tfatff no living Wir,-ff ha Ion h^'not colt '
me two thou&nd Couplets at leafi." ' ' ■ ■'' ' ■• ' ■ •

' Rm. 8utWhatwattdyou'g!venow,foranew^Rf^ragainn.

Women, ready made ; 'twou'd be as convenient to buy ^tyrs ^

agunft Women,' ttady nwde, tiS it is to bay Cicvats ready ty'd.

. Z>4^. Or « i ^ i ■ - ■* ' ;: ■■■ ■ ■ - ■•'■

Ran. HaY,come away, come away, Mr. oras-— :— ^Exfiffff:''

r fe«#f^*. JAytiet, Gripe. ' 'S - -
Gr^j. Peace, Plenty, and^mime be wfthiifiWftft Walls. '■
jh>]ni.' *TisaAha)l Heu{e7t)bree;'and nlKH^'P^riiturc, for
tm GalUnts are'ifufiln^^ to cOmclikticr'-V (bd mIght-haVc had cie
now, ugood Lo4g}ngsi>as aify^Town ihtiA^eelaai Hang-^
ings gieat Glalles, Cabinets, OAtoi^einbroidAM BelJs, Perjia
Carf)etS|<3(^<plBt^ and the'fi% il ftewoa^dha'^c put her ftif
for ward ybat your Wor(hip UBi^pplcafe, to makff-'tm rcmave
toa^boe BcnriedeiM OfK^iafyoiii/Worfliip's quality i for this
Is'aUtdefcandalttiS'iti'tndy.' ' ' <

Gn^; No>' ab, I like k tiwU enough, t am not dainty j
befides priv;;}Cy^ privacy, Mtsl J^jntr^^ I lQv« {^^va^yy in op.
pofitioD tb die -Wwieed, who*atem.;i . *; .■:■. '

Jgyn: What do you look for. Sir? ' ^Loakt ahimt. '

■ Gripe. W^ luve.Eare'; hulbkicMea, I Ibolc for a private
phcc to retire ti^ liniinie of need V oh hciie's'OM'vbnvniicnt.

■ >(X''nii-9fa'Hanpiii,^'and'iiifcbvtrt ibtiptmier- ■ !

'f.' i.'.'...frtv$/mroflbeFaptiIy.

jejM. Bat you fee poqr innocent Souls, to what ufc They pbt
it, nott6Mdp^lIants '■ ' '

GM^.'TempeMnccBthcNuricofChafUtyi.^ vi
Jojtn. But your Worfhip msylpleafe toaiBKl'>'tbeir[£ve-,
::.-.' -:-,- Ccj".- .'■;.■ . and

3(0 tne la a Wtai, Ot^

^unyoufei, they do tbonielvcs.

Gn^. No, lainDK'dainty> asltoM joos libomiiKie-
EoKioiwM^isi noEiiieraiiiwiKE, [af, Ma 7<yMr.

Jv- No. f4jar.

Grjpi. Tttenanfae no EnMtahMMSt to mf, mofcl4iici<
ow and Ssvomy, than the odfawHmiQii with tbu litllr GcndP'
wotnani wiH you caU ha out } IfiA'tiUlfeell^

Jiifm, But muuly youi Woifluj)^ we a)Ou*<l have bioiwllt z
Bollle o> laif) of Kheoilh, and (oine Ni|<w.Biilin, tolhlK
EnteitainM thf youug Gcntkmxnani *tti the inodefinLO'
«Cfs toTjcaf thcit Milheflea.

Gn^ Mod«,I tell ysa, Mis.7>imr, IhateMnfanl
Forme.

79«. You moA fend fee (bmethingtoEnlenaia hetariih,

Grife* Again Enteit^inbg i we udU he (c> each oifaa a
Feat

3f!7». I Dull be aflnmU loBuly yow Woilliip i bcBla,
the youDg GcstkwoaHo will deipjfcyoiL

Gript, IQiattaoQttntbcrj I wanaDlyta^-ktKlttoneh

jF>lia. I an fine you will m <onteume, if yoavSliqt
omxaiiheii 'ti»a9iiii|«iiiUefci« MuIdImg, andhtani-
fcr, astoloveandbewiie; aatbcylay* (4^

(fnift. While you talli of Tnaii, yoB fiaiH ov Eyai I
Img to re» the fiiiOee > fetch hei bilhK

^>. I am afham'd Ike feuu'd M ■( li>abuianablc * L)^
ai> Ihavelbptias'd youtoher, andafaoiBiH. yoarVWsils,
youi Liloality; vUchltiis pmttVatm, tlatinofina-
cuies Youth, Beauty, CoanuK, Wii, nt any thiiiib

Orife. Fiih, PVb, 'tis the VenK of fixts, imp Boat ^
lisveit* ■ "

3F9» AndwillioiitWarfUf Haachlheiii imdher —

Gi^. Why wou'dyeatdlhaanf tUggofmej yeutncitr
lanaiMdaftMan, batoome, Jf you win hitx meat eztri-
vauntasthewickci, lake that and fetch ua a IVtat, asjou'

Jejn. CJpon tny Life a (jioat, what will : ihkfMduir ?
Gri^. TwoBlaclL-Fotsof Ale, andaCalie^atthejGdlar:
Cona^ theWriHtbasAiftnicltin'L

Jfjih Well, lammiftaken, ant my hopes aicabus'd, I

never faie«an]riiiui lb rtoitiiy*d I Mfir, thathe mmlcl dcnr
his Lndidj^inydliiig} I muftbentawitfa thee then another
WBjr» (GMtoMt. (4^.

Gr^ Tbdc uCcfid old Women in mote cxotbitant, and
craving in dieir detinst thra die roungoiiesb ^teini thefe
PtoJOffit iawhlatVwuftafyaU *cm bothi and dnt's the
leaibn when die Squiie^aimc under my dutches, I nuke *em
pay foctbdrfoBy^nfae, ind'&butConfcience: Oh hoe
oMmei dtt ^One Bt hft.

Amt Joplier haJiKg m Lucjr, »ht hnigr Mai/ard
-\ * sifKmtn,
tmj* Ob iJoiL theM*s a Mao» God-mothtf !

%;*.'Goii»iii, Child, duuaitfebilUfiil •

Xmft h^ Mother is from home too, Iducnot.
JrfH. If Ok w«Kbcfr,flie'd teach yoa better nnumin;.
IJkj* Tm afraid Ote'd be ai^ty.
Jtytt. Tofec you fo madi an Afit oome along, I fay.
Cnipf. Naj, ^pcaJttohctgcndjr* ifyouwon't, IwiU.
. Zjw;'.- Thank you. Sir.

Gn^. Pretty imooeiir, dmeis, Iicc> one left of ha Age;
what hap favrelJ fmyt, IttdcQaukwomao, come fit down
byiDb

Imy, ImbetterfaRd, I hope, Sir.
Or^ You mtift fie dowa by me.
iMcy, rdntbaftand, ifyoupkaTe.
Cr^. To|)lealeme, youmoftft, Swecte&
Ijieft NocbcfoiemipGod-niodicr, iiiic. ,
Cr^, Woodcnnentoflonooaice.'
Jtjn. Apoor balhlut Oirl, Siti rinfony Ok is eot better
tai^ht.
Grift, tarn glad (be is not taught* I'll teach her imftlfl
LiKy, Am yoaa Dandt^maaer then, Sir I but irlOuBld
beduB, and not move ai yoa «au*d fasTC, you wou*d twc
beat m^ Sir, I hope j^

Grift. Beat dKc, Honey-Sodde i flli^Uxedni, anddiuf
Hodduisi Ah, Mis. ?«yMr> prithee go fetch our Tieat now.

Ter"' A Tieat of t Groit, I will not wag.
Grift. Why don*t you go I here, take me^ mooey, and
fetch what you win ; take ncichalfaC^ownk

ytpnV<nutwinha(i:Gnmndof ; ■<■■■■-

Grift; Taffe-aCnwnrrhm,' aiiAnget,aPiett;begonlE.-

yofifJ \ Treat Dnlf'mfltiot teirem/ rurn, 1 muft bi^ tbe

poor Vito^hthefcfonfc toys. - • -' ' '■■' •. ■•-

Gri^. Whit toys? whtt ? fpeafe^jiuclily. w-- . ' '■- <■-
Jojn. Ptndents NeckMhicaij ipant,;-R^>cmd5, E^oyf»t%l»-

ccs, Stockiiifes, Glowes.*-' '-i ■ >.■-•'. '.i

Grift. Hold, bokl,-befi>rc.itcan)cs'M'a'^Gawn. . <

Joyit. Welliemembi'd) Sir, indccd'QK:wantfa Gowh, iiK

(he hasbin Tliat,onetahcr.bu:)c; tbcyour own takc^ou-fiuuld

give her a new Gown, for sarietv «f Dreflcs, routes dcliic,

and make) an bid Mittr^&m every diyanevrohe.' ' .. -i.'
Grift. For that ibaibh fhs ihall haye'nojicw^ Qown*,'-fot I

am naturally conlUn^ andaslara IbUake'iame,'! loveAc

(lu>uM be lUlt the ^lUvWhae lake Jttkia-fikceioi tbe otter

thingS4 ':' i i-; .'

7o^ Half apiece-*-^ .;«;'' .;.y -

Grijif . < Ftitbee b^ gofie, take t'otha Piece then ; ntofiects,

threePicces, Bve; hcre^'cisall Ihave... ; , ■ . ■
Jo/n. I<nulthive tbc'&oai-SealliingtDOiorlliinot.
Grt^ ■ laratiable WoBnn; will 'you hwte.tbat too.'

Prrthcc fparc me that, 'twas my Gran^ather's.

Jojfn. That's falfc, hc-ibadneiki Coati-fonow l6o;dlis

isbut a violent iit and will -not hojd. . . (AfiJt.

Lucy. Oh, whither da-yqu go, GQd;nlQthcr^ wUt .you

leave mc alone ^.' <<' ,'.; . ■ . ,, ■.

Joyn. The Gentlctoat^ngH not hun you» you ipji^ veotltre
■ your felf with him alone. ■ . !" . • ■':

£«>. I think I rmy,: God-mother i what^wUi CE».Joyn.

You lock me in^ Sit ? don't lock me in. Sir. (Fumhl^. at
'■■'I ■ ■■ ■'ikidcar', ieck/$t,-f—

'■ <Srije. Tisapritatelcflbn, Imufl-fwchyou, fair> : .;
Luey, I doii'tfec yoor.'Fiddie, Sir,,.,whMe isyourlitt^jKitti*
Grife^ rilftewic thee prefcntly, Swcettft i ,
Ni.'ccftjty, Mo'tlierbf Inveation \ (Gripe j5(((i^ « Qbnir 4^4imfi
Come-iwy Bcarcrtj l kTi^t hr.in hu .Airmu; . {li^.daQr*

■' Luip What do you mean, Sir? dont't hurtrne. Sir, will
you - Oh, t^vyou willJiill sazJ Murder, Mur^«,' Qb, oh-
**'?, bdpoh-*-': :-■' . ■■.,.;*',, iCryi.m.

■'.'■■. ' ' /. ^.. 'lie

__ St. Jamc^if-P^rt - ^^ ..

tCrtf. Whstf, M»ider my Daughlf r, ViUain ?.;[,,.? ,

iUvy. I wtQ) he had rourda'd me, oh, oh -

Cnf. What htfthe dqne,?;:- - •., V

Liuy, -Whj wou'd you^ Off ^nd leave. me doae? upibr-
ttinueWoiTian tb^cl atn. . ' .-; , -

Grifs. How nowj what will this jnd in ? .. % -.(JfiJt,
* Cr^ Who broiight biip jni * '-,

.iMtf. Tha^Witdi, diatTic2cheioBsfaI[e Woman, my Gq^-
mothcT, who i^s beuayM mc, (old tnc to bis lult > oh, oh— ,
Cnf. Have you ravilh'd mv Daughter then, ypu old CSoat^'
nvilh'd my Dui^ter, taviQi'd n>y Daughter, fpcah, villiua.^'
Giffftf. |ty-yea,apd by nay, no fLuh matter. '.,. ■
Crof, A canting Rogue too \ take makfi^ Landlord, be ■■
has zavilbM my Daughter, you fee her all in tears aiid (Kftra-
-^ioo j /^ je^ there cbe wicked ^n^e of the.61ty Execution ;..
■„ - (pointing- to tkt Chofr.--
J'lKw^'icaltup the Neighbours, and the Conftabl^
Falfe.Villain, thou (halt dye for'i.

Grift. Hold, hold i nay I am caught. .. •; < iAJide,'
Craf, Go, go, ,nuke haftc.'"- . - , ■ ■ ,, ■'

jM^y. OU, oh — — r . •

,, Cnf, Ppot Wretdi; go quickly.
Gfife. Hold, hold i thou young Spawn of the old Serpent;,
MVickcd^ aS'l thought thee Innocent \ wilt thouTay I wou'd
have lavifti'd thee ? ■,•,■.. -,. *,. -

• i«j',;J.>vi|l fwcaryou.<fi(JwvUh' me., -, ..",'.. ,. ■ .

Grip. I thought la, Tteac^tpws Sff, 'tfKnl'am'gonr, I
muftfliiftaswidlaslpn. ...,;....'.

.-Liuy. -Ohjcb ■■■-•','

■ Crey:,W.ill,noocoryouc^luptbeNfi£^ut5, and the Au-
thority.o(.the.AUey? ., , . _..']':

Gtife. Hijd^ 111 give you'Twenty Mark aiiicaig you, to let'

, Cn>/: -ViUaIn, nothing (halt bijy thy Life. „

LMti. But ilay, Mrs. Crofdiie'^ let me talk with you.
. £*7. Oh, oh— r-: - ' ■ ■

. I^iL Cotne, Siij I am your Friend ; in a word, 1 have ap-
peas*dber, and Die Qall be contented with a little futn.

.^_ ... Gripi.

Gr;^ WhU kit ^ whMkit^

LinJ. BucfmhtmilMlpMMb.

Grife. hutSertbacAni fcmki bugmitfiftt, faai^aie
ntha;

Lditd. You «fll lay Xhm been yoarF^tciML

Pmib TlieConaaUA^and Ndghooutt ue i Wtt^iig.

Grift. How, bow > wUIyounottahcibubcUidr pikf dfe
Conldcitce in" rout ways. • (iOtaf// nGrofifahe.

- Crvy: iroomywrMoocy; I win net Mt» a tboufiod. *
Onfts My Bnirmln arf Many, and 1 flikU k i Steodal to

theFtfthfiil, stLaughing-ftaektothewkkcdt (t^Ju
Go, prepare your Eogioes fo> my Paric^dOA.;
tapteyoa the bcA fecurity I catb

4!m/ The inArtunnits an dntfing lu tfit other Room.
Ifyon jdeafe to go thither.

Cnj. Indeed, now I conftdcrsiPbition wIlldoaiyDit:^
tet more good, than his death i that vi^u'd but ptiSilib hit

fhame t Money vtVH cover ft, pretstim t0, as ihry (a; Let

nie tdl you, Sir, 'tis x dtaiiraUc thing t» gjft a yieurtg AMd •
Ponkn. (tMM Entmit*

Enter Lydia, wji l4<fy FlippMt^
I^y. *Tis as batd for a Woman to conpeal hetlriAg^riiMi

6Qm her Af oAateLom,u to concc^ har Love fiKkd ha ^dM

tannu'
TUf. OralinoAaiharduit{f,fotthepWElii£fflOiiniioir

adays, to ctmceal the favours of oUwne Ladiei.

- ^/ If Rji^(rflioa*dc(UKUFs(l uwhitnrjuftnowhltfai
fbcet) the dtfixwery of my An^ to iiim now, wgmM be as
tiKan, as die difborery of my Lore w hliti befote.

fX^ Though I did lb man a thing, asfOlAttiFdkW.'I
wbt^dnordofomean athlng, astocoiifefi % ttrt^nhr, by
my trouble to part with him * ifIconfeftLaK,HOKMMMte-
fore they left me.

Lyd. So you wou'd de(me to be left, before yoa MMt
but cou'd you ever do £> lUcaii a things at tO cbttfeH Lor tft
any?. . ■ .

Fi>jp. Yes; but I nerct did lb tiuaa a tldi^ ^ mSy (a
Love any? ':, . I

/ ■ ~ ,-- tji.

ijJL Yob M once a HwdoDdi

]&. Fyci Kitdun, JojKuihinknK&at-bfed} as to love
aBusM.
' It^ YouMawidowsbcm, bc&KTOQweieaWicbw

F/ifb I flwuM ndirr iqtlce in nilwntiiie of ay Honoar,
mdi • Gilhn^ foca Oown, a new Coicht • Ncch*lBce» thm
^ d«piDyIkiteid9cfaE^fixdiem,'aifitinhbhp; IdmiU
bBaflMn*4tobccn^mliidiapofliiir, widi a Bdibrnd) »
iftfatUciv^-b^SpKkofdKToinH vfouMbe, tobecu^
en Im Knees ai FtatyciSt unkfi K> his NGAnfik

Tttbm, Hangar, D^pcrwit. .
3^ Mt^RM^ir, ^wasow^tiglfcloncofyoii:
Rsih Indeed, Coofin, I had kept my ftoaiCt «4tb you^
hft luahc, but dw OemkniaD kncms ■-— -•
'' l/fjL YoQ nifiahe net faut yen QiaU not kflbn aiy favour
you do to me > yott ate goiog to excnfcyoui not coniiBg to mc
l^ft ofebl, . when I take it as a pinkiAu' oU^adoi^ diat tboogb
yioa Amnied nc with a Vffit, uffon wnlicUiaikiM you wete
£idv3, isnoccotnidiknie.

Aif. lUs isuiariiKky Klotning i|lih mc tfaneVn^ tta*
nil pct&atloo, the ^^dow Fliffsm. {4^.

F1^.Vias}iir,pitfftrmfl

Rm, lodnd^ Cbnlai, beiidcs my bn&Bfi> aootfaer cao&,

! dU not wak on yoD, was my appc h e i tfnn, you west gpoe

aoifae Pashi aotwaUtanding yoar pomift to the cootiary.

L^JL Thncfcic, yon wenC to ifae Paik» to VIEt OM theK.

noCwiAftanding yoarpKniile to the coamry.

tbm. Whoi, I at the Par^ when 1 had pioiid^d to vnt^

apoa yonat yeoc Lpdgii^v ftt ncic yon at ihePaik, Madaou

Zjr^ . Who, I at the l>aik ? when I had fmmis'd tow«t

Ibi you at home; I wasnomoaeat the Pack thm you wne;

wete you ai te Padi ?

JU*. The Path hadheoi a dUmaldcfitt to ox, notwltht-
fiandktg alibc good Com|myn't>tfi had wanCidyouB.

LjJ. BtcauCe it hu been the cooftwc mdaivour d Mean,
to keep Women ignorant, ^f thidt w fit » but 'tis
dutenocaies our in^HUitiTene&r and makea ui know them
ignorant^ fatfe , he is as bnpudent a diffiablsi as ihs Vf idow
FliffMt, nhoisniikingberimponunateaddicflb,itivain,for
«BguIlec : I.; i^^ FKppant

39<5 LtveJm tWctd i OTy

^ipftiat Jrivti^Vifpecmt from oK^'tf the
tbtSt^tt UVthtr. 1- - .

flif. Dear, Vix.DMffenviti mcidful \Ai. Dgf^envk.
. Dtf/rVUnmncifuI IJidy i^I^gMW. ■

^flif. Willyoubcfatisficd?

Bm.'Wfii'tyoube'titiifnd?' '■''-'■

rUf. ThtM^WitAouM^be iealoos! thata Wit Omildbe
jnlous^'thtmlsiMmrabfnlfycMingiEllowinTheTowtijthcK^ ^
neWlt^'Hsavtii knows'i bm^i^inkt too wcltof himfelt^ co
duakiltdf<hi$Wifc, or iVfiAnAs nowihat > Wit (bou'd leflcn
lus .opinion of hiaMT, Ibrlbsme^ ' (.AfidetoOip^wa,

T>*f. I prqmisU to bring joatM^ bit 1 tHid it enough to

fluft for my.fetfl- - « .. (JDjd^/v d^ #0 R»i0cr.

. ifJ^-Whatj.'oatpfWeath* Madam^

Hip. I havcbceB<lcfnKlia^oaicnire,lliU<lani; I have best
Um'^tt'of theSHt > 1 doib mundilc thdepntiag, ocnCmaus
fcllo\w,';t[leycatt Wits, whm Lmcej withthem.
. J>0f. 'Hcr^yaiipindEediifftheotilythiilgih.Pcrty-<oats,-
ldr«tid, t csns^wdl foDme^^bereiwasOjnipaBy'iDtflc Roomi
fetldareno more venture my feU'w^hct!alone,thanaCul-
IqriharWs^faMiikt^j^bgKsmitiirehinafiMf ina Tavern, m<di
ao-jaktHook. ^ ■>, .....

Flip. I am the icrtiigrr of qui Snc, «airaiD)y. .

Daf: AndcheUbft^ii^MablfeORc, temrKnew, M^ami
lcla>einT-ftaR(ly«iMFncyJ9fga^ IAi.Rmi^;, J wiUgo.bc-
fbic, atid>iDafci:tii«vaff»wctoeQt withyoin Friends thatex"
peft.yoa. ^SiMatyStAitSmKb-^Aaak^: *d»Jk bugncft fiiS
waitonLovc. ■■—.;.: 1 1'-^'.--. '■■■:■■ '■-■ ■

i Rar. Dofe— i-butiiofiHlxhbkon'i,.Si 7%«flMJ goes out
df Town timAftcinoofi^ aad 1 ftilU not ice him hae again diefe
dirce'Mcn'thsj r

, :^XjR£'M«yvi-'prayt3keiitindiK)di you, fiii^ ...

Flip, No, Sir, you (hall not take the GentkiDan from his
Miftvofin t^nottie^te) iwcci Wi-'DApftttfi:.) . (Afide.

±jd. '^SAeJAai. witK-youi .-Strt I fapptilc his buSncfs may.
ht ttietc, to^bon^ytM wkunidnQy, andl cii^t mx to.br his
hind'ianccii^rrVhiiaihchasuioiK, helias.he dcrpetttt:de»
%t5iiponltbatltttIe.lhavc;,iM WatUQf.aioaqr* nukesosde-.
■»oittli)¥ets.«.Ohi(i(ii«ns. : ■ • '■.■;•■•

. ;r5t. JztfK^j^dr^. 397

Dt^. IhffpCi jMam, b^pffoi ;ou no lefi IJNUriCf, dnn
.blsUbertr.,. / ;.; ., ,. , /.' ;:.,,*

; ' I^J. i^Lxbaty, as ap9Di.p^n.totake))p;Jt4aicyon, u
honquii ,i^i5..Jibcthc.dcrp<^teB^i>k JKDUtsqftbjai^v'Who
'if tbcv' ca^^gcr^PropIcs JFortuiKS uito.tht^it hands^ (afcpot
thou^ ttiey fpend them in Goal, all tticlr ]v^.' i; :r,

rjif, ^a^ the poor ciedjting, ladies, when Shif inve parted
"-with theiitiion^y, ^uli be^ontcHtedwiihfj^tifi^^WJIiorukqi^
( or ftarve foK all thjin^ - i f:„ -^ : ■

J{<m. Bui Widows arccoiT)inOfil7ib,vn(ei.aj,|f> fa* fii^tbtlt
men are folvable before they null 'em.
*t - ,*Jtf^fc*Ai*ftft^wiiiWaBft'.'-<ift^fc»»'4lcMa>iip «4ffiiMfHli*iio 1110^
pray ao not take it ill, Oentlmun ; Quacks in riidr Bills, and
Poets In f^e T-ftlcS'of i})elc^Phys, do 'not nibi&li%point us,
then Gal^ts with their promifes ; but I irud none.

Dap. Nay, (he's *. very-Jew ui :that rar^ei^ ; to tny know-
ledge, Ihcc'll know ^ *Hm> ovd'sjra cftct ^in, "belbre {he
trull hitn.

- Rtfa^.V^ftiUtny (Jeareft'CcuGavgcwd inp«o(f.nHhcn I ftay
from you, fo long again't^anicatetQpMrpofe, 'and beextrcam-
iv MffY' 'i-k^ nothing an tpaiic inc amendsfijt ll^tdrsofVour

Coippapyy ba^ your ieprel)cnlion,^f niyabteucc Vl')l take uich
jiChi(Iii}gi aj^Jqadlyas/ivj^D VVivcsdoBeating.. -,-,

^..■•i'^i^.y'^ w:eie my Hu^aodj. I cw|d not tafte your ab^

fence more kindljiithan l<iQ< n;;.' ■ j; : . -Uvi'-' ■:

- Am. Apdif-yqu-ii¥re^y,l(i*ift, I sroM'^ttitftytti asntVch.
|OUt f^imM^^ir^ Vm'^ *!*few- "tf flpiHk»:;Qt!.JWB Vir-
tue. . Sain-,.^.. . ^._;; r.,:-, ■.

Flif*-^ ^-wel^tred Ocntf^^an, Pwarrant;] wjlj.yciugoiliel!,
aiiel Mr, Dapfenvit f , '(£xt ^^gfi Mi/ Dappctwit*

JjfL Jtove.t-.not difleqi|Iefl iffdl, l^^^ , :, iAp^rU

Leo.- But, Madam, t^ wbal^pHffx^i wr^df you^oot, (Ktf
him to his tiyal, and fe^^^Mt hc>caD/3y fgi h<i^f«lf i' ,. „ ..
- X^/ Ii^jtraid lelVijrvy-.ptpb^aijl hi&jgixU.ih9u'd make
him delpmte, ai>l(b,.con^iitn,thUpaidonr which hflcou'd
.not hope for... ■ ■. ■ •;• :■,..',■■, r^ i . '

': L<o.-.'Tis.uninft tocondemt>'him, bcfo^yifu hear loo).
. Lyd. i »ril].r£pneve,i|i[i}ti)iLhavcm(»a<yideiiC(. : 1

left How willypug?! it?«^ . ."'-s^

D„.....Googfe'"'

398 Leiiii»4Wiod% Oil

tji. twffl write UmtLettct in CfrijfJiM^inAnit^defifog
to meet Um; wheal fh^ fixn di&over, tflus love n her bte
afaVK^AtwllM, dnnfincelaftnl^v indtfh benot, I
«HB notkmger ttuft Mm 1^ the nnUr, tothli^ flic nre him
AtoecriBoi^ lofoBowherlKMKfttmtbePirit; Ibvratatoiice
dt&bu&himurfmyfelf. o

Lit. Whtt cttc die jetlow take fai mtUog (sxx of fib,'
whidi Acy; but {■ ima^nHioni, catmot ondago.

Ljd. Misfortuns aic Icaft diodfiil, when moft near. «
fnileAtotiiMlffBOtbe 81, thuifttr.

ACT IV. SCENE t

GripeV jETof;/^.

&Mr iW/. JoyncT, WOrfpe w 4 iJW (7flMii;'
«)b/ Night CMf.
'• ^fn^XKT^^ not weU. ytnr Worflilp^ tldi tt li, yqi^
VV winbchyingoutyoutleinieyondyoaiftiafldH
.yoDhavetakeoaSmfcitoftheGttkGcmlcwoniii, [ find; ki^
deed, 70a (hou*d not havf been lb inunodenee in your cnAo-
CCS Tooi Wotfhip bibmeddnsifi yctn, in tralr'

Grift. &xek^perfi£oasWc)auii,whMBSilntthauhatI'
aitthoanotafirddtobeii^dlllKiiiInfoiiiKr) flocetlxmlkdl
made roe pay diee for bctnybg me ?

Jtyw. Betfaf ypnrWofibp, wbatdoyoomeanManliifiw*
neri I dbom yotu woHs.

Grift. Womaivl fiy agaiit, dwu art as Tieadttrais as am
MbmMr, an! nun uamTonabk ; f» be lets us have fixnc
thing for our money, before be dlAinb as.

JhjH, Your Money, Vm fore, was laid out fiMtloUri and
I went away becaufe I wosM notdUlorb yoa.

Grift. I bad not gnidg'd you the Money I gave yoo, bat dw
five htmdredpoonds ; ihcHve hundred pouiKS, InconfcimaUe
filfe Womin^ the five hLhdml.poaads* yoadleaCedi tqp^
paa*d, tot^d;^ of^ five hundred pouods.

_ ,. Couple JV^

St. JaiMsViV^ 999

Jtjn. 1 cfacat you, 1 lob you i well, Knenlicx whit you

lay, yon fhall mfwa it bcbit Mr. VtMtC^itt and Iho bcS

Qrifi. atinicudatWami>,.r|Xifc&filyl . ■

Jtin. IwillnDc4iak<bifly,ib>imKnM<:UI(>iit,«will
M b«|e ^'4i is dw your ictwn, sbnyoa bn> ondraies
m<m to TOW filth; Uti? '

Grifh Speak Ibftly, my SiAcT,Danghta andSeiTantwttbav.

Jeff I vaii ban wtmcOis, ntikc notice, thai you Uali
my good name, whidiwaias wMtcMaTidips aiid« iwcec
H tne bead ttf yOHt Ganc ^ hefon you Wfooght nelbthe OBJ'
iqSO»tll^w»kt)f yeittBdUycanialfaUiigi, '

Oiifi. Softly, ibrdy, ihcy in onfagia.
iimr FlipiaMaa^MiiliaL:

FAIL Wte't dKmmn, IuiIki'

<^ Nadiif«,M>iliiiiA Slfla, odythc OoAfWomn
k laQaiimoa fit dt Zcal,aglinft diMaonBoastan^^rtffiOBioC
the <y i n gp, T» lb Bat loK tolieit yaotay nf(<»4, pny
trami.

Jtjiu Vni flay. Madam, thuyoumay hnow 1 1 i i

<iMA liaUkbMk boa ate £fe Gidnaysibt Ahl
Fiai lay nothbig. {.AfUk. tt Joynet.

Site,|inylngpw, Ibyi wni'lpaipeyifiK
Yousowni«|ftililkia,toiaiuKniae? CfiM.Fl^ipantMJ

7«ya. Wou*d yoa pn^adioa youroam Seal to mong my
KpMcintiulyf {SUSamt It »np.

Grift* VfifiaM llwiaexcule;lndtBd, I thought, yon lud
a ftaac (f thefm hndiad pouodfl, becanlc you took away my
Sal Rin^ which they made mc fold, togedwc with a Hole
l» l«y CablHtrei far hTC handlad poiBda ; hcGda, I thought
none, butyou, Jmewlt was my wonted token to&nd ffit
Mswyb|.

Jna. Tis unlucky ]aiou*d&agetit,aad leave ft on the Ta>
ble>butohdieBail<ny! didihelBhelhunietf illhan>'twas
no woadctyw did not flay till I came back.

O^ 1 O^'d ffi the Uomy idias'd nuk

J9» iianlheyibtMKXylhen?fiRhuadial|>oiaids.'

Gr^n Tooccitain.

Jifm Theytoldmenat awoidef it, andhayvyounoway
V> lOdm it i . Orift.

4t$o Lotei^-dWMdi Or^

.Gri/ia'Notany.;

k there no Law butagainftSaints ?

Grip*. IwilVtiot^feiAvcJKBidKdtKHitiBs,; piibliQ) myCranT-
grcffion.Jnyi'iclfj.left I ftiQiyd' be thought fo'g^ry in^t, though,
i auftmnM^ *twou'<i tctnpt^^Man taiiconfomi > to (^ublid
praybg and finning ; fincc 'tis To chargeable tb pray, uidSn
Ai.giTWa-;Bv-)L ./. ;-'. '■ -■,.-.^./-

- ' Ji^ fi* aae yoa lefblfiM to g!v« off, • a 1^ >

Gf^ jyowibaQ Iholplt ? - -' .
. <3^i>iJ^^ H'rt* yM Onillhwe, wbot'the yt^mg Jade ba^
fot your Mo^ey;^i'U'llial01t•lh'frfc'foI^e<(Mfitiebtt {Mnffevcr i
take a man's Moneyifi^iHOthine:;^ .' -'-^ . J^^

Grift. Thou.&r!ff4ietKlHr^?iridiedv inid OialllhaTe nty
pennywoichs outoTthe'li^fleiitlbfrcmflm^ite^agt^ > ■

taketHt'^akfaiturcon.tnedlii''.;-' J '^ -<^' '=) '
^firi^i!^ viio,- l%iicbcr.tske ytnit #tiFd,!iMrs, 7^)nkA' '
^n. Go in and dnls your lelf Smug, and Icarc ito d^'fo

Gripe. NKMantbradut^ttttotii^QH^jilQKt; asOnAjTs.

. >.[ :L .;.'■ \ ■ .&■■ ■ (Ejcami^

EiMir ^irSiipoi) A4(9tpIot;/r(i%i<^»vi)eJit mitiitg-

. SmSthi. 'Tis a Lord's Mottg^, and therefore requites
ihe oiowhaft »' pray d(r.not jog iiiciMadam; '•-^ ^'^

i7iip.'Oitlt.EareaL ' (A/^

Sir Sim* They.caimot ft9f¥or Mon«f,'4B btb^-Fo(^ ; if
you will obt'lctoic inatei attend' on^'H^^bolliairettay E^piAi^
tion-Fe(B ■■.'.' 7 ■ < : ,?.■!,.-■■'■ ■•'• • ■ -i\> '■- - '■■•

Eaf.. ;rhaie are fome OlMu'wift^d have uifhtiifttiod iMlie^
fprcthis. y. :■' . -v^ ;a7 ■ .t .- . : .(^bU

■ Sir Sim.-NiYi p'ay be quiet, Madam; if you fqocftKiiM
felo the W»H, I cannot Wrkc.'--

Flifi. *Tis mudi foe the^iOBbur of the Oelicten^ of th'u
Agej that we Peribns of Qaality are fotc'd td delbtiid to the
importuning of a Clak, a Butler, Onchltil^, [or '.Ribt-
man; while the Rogues are as dull of apftfstxnlion tt)0) »s an
unflcdgM Country Squire, amongfl his Mothers Maids. "

- (A^dei ■■ijtgt'bim^aim

SifJii0t

, St. JaniesV-P-n-jt 401

!. SirSmi Again, Let me tell you Madam, Cimiliattty bleeds
Contempt ; youll newt leave, till you have made me lawc/.
FUf. I wou'd I cou'd fee that.

. Sir Sha. I *oW and fwear then, get ybii gOUe ■■, or Hi add

a bUck [atch, or two to thofc on ytiur kux.

i fioll hdve no daic to get Mis. iiartba out, foi her.

' ■ ' ■ ■ , ,. UjUu

Flif. Willyoa, Sii, wiUyou^ 0ogthfm <^am'.

Sir Sim. I mufi have a plot foi hc^, die is a coy Woman.

. ^ ■ <-^M.

I vowtndftnarifyoupafi tUsCi?n<e> IH bilsy(Ju in plaid

Flip. I wou'd 1 cda'd lee that, do you dcfic mc'

(Sttfsttbbn. CmhffislH^.

Sir Sim. Hott*s thil > I vow and fw»ar, (h£ t^es as Unxly
as Mis. Tukli^, and ^th hei mouth open too. kM^'

■• Fiif. I thought yod «oa'd hav:^ been afliam'd, to nave
doie fb to yoWjM^'e own SUtei^ '

Sir Sim. F hope you'il be quiet now. Madam?

Flip. Nay, rubc-ievflrig'dofyoalarei . .,.'..>
,. Sir Sim. If you come ^^ IQall'de mofe to lyoa than
duti lllpuifiiemyPIot, and try if Oiebehoncft. (jifije.

Flip. YoudomoiieCome thair tHat-^'Bay^ iTy^u^domoK
tomethaDthat— ^i :.•,<.. j ■ -'

iShethnaiisifiimhisUki4Kdrkiutmy Btfiiowsber*
' I - 'Atfo-Jdyner.-. ■ ; -■ -
' yitp^ I muftviiit my young Ctients in the mean tiroci

.. "StrSOipn return! betJi^ ftp bit baaJt.

^ofn. What's the mittcTjShfSwws?

Sir Sim. Lord, who wou'd have thougfit it?

Jtjpi. Whit ail you, Sii5i»!Ka?. . ^ . ^

Sir Sim. l.blvc made fwK a dtfittvtiy. Mis. JojmfC

Jtya. Whatisft^. , . ; .

Sir Sim. Such aacne, that maka mc at cnice glad and
forty i Jamlo^my'Iiuly Ki^ywtf isoouf^i batrmglidl
know it * thanks fiil.tbmy dii^;iiii&

Jiya. Fye, fye, , . ., ^ . .

Sir Sim* liay, ^ iMod can tcU— -!?^ .

Dd '' jvtk

D„....,Cou3lc

401 Lou hi sWto^t C>r,

jFtfjm. Bur bow !
. SirSm. Sbc threw down my Ink gU^ and ran sway {iitt>
the nest -Rootn ; I follow'd har» »nd m iQvei^, threw her
downuponthe Bed i but to (hott, all that Icod'ddotQher,
would not mike her (qiMCk.

Jopt. .She was out of breath Min> flic was out of Brc«tb.

Sir Sm. Ahj Mrs. Jojtur^ fay no more, £17 no taatt of
that.

£ttfer Flif^Dt. .

flip. You ludc, unmanneily Rafcal.

JoyH' .You fife (he coDafdain» now.

Sir Sim. I know why, Mrs. Joyafr, I know why. (Afarti

Flip, ril have you ti«n^d out otjthe Ijoulb, you ate not Jit
lor my Btothei's Soricrk

Sir 50ft Not for yourt, you mean, )tfid2(n. C4fi'^-

FUp^ ni go and acquaint niy Brother im^-

Jtyt. Behold, Uuho^fiKaliiioi. feloodt 'tis SuSiwM
'AdJkflott yourLovcr, whoWttlKn'thisdi^paifeoDpupolb
tobenearyoii, aDd:iD«atch, andiupplaRth»B.iviL

Flip. Whata BcaftwasljlGMi'dnot^fcom-it, you have
oodonepaet why wou';dr!yi]ujiotieU.iK.lix»KtbfH?

, . jFi)^ I dipi^heInd:b«adifcaiMl9lr<nQn^

Flip. I proteft 1 knew him noti forIaH^c^i&£tD yclD>
myey^oieiioncofriieWk, fincelbveutM'thelifiiRW wafii
CHf Mercury water; what wiU he think d* me?

'JefH, Let mc alone wtd) faim \ cotmj oooic, did yoa thbfc
you cou'd di%iUe your TeK &ttra my L^r's knowledge * Ibe
blew you, Man, or die you hid nc'n bad thc^e libeitict ; alls,
poor Lidy, (he cannot -pdiA yoa

Flip. *Tis my weaktiefi.

Sir 5tMs Boif^s tb^Muthsrecerattmy Mafta.
JEirter Gripe mU Martha.

Grifi* OonK,Mi».^fMt,aieyQaRa^.t»go>
■ J>^ I m qw rsaly when youc Wprflip cotrnnaads.

Flip. Brother, if you goto t*«thn(cndof die Tows, you'll
let me down near tli Play-hoaie.

Grift. The Vixf^aam-, d& you tMnk 1 wiU be ^ war
the Play-hoiile.

fl^. You Hull fit me down in Lineph-hm'FUTds thm, foe
I have eameft bofiocfi there ••, (When I ctxne home i^iin,
ill Inigh at you foandly, Sii 5mwir.; (Afort.

Sir Sim, Has fepitr bctiay'd me then ? 'tis tisK to loek co
i*y hlt^ {jifide,

Grife. AfWti&i, be fine yoaftay within now* tfyougoout,
you (mU nera omik into my doois ag^in.

Mmf. No, I will not Sir ; 111 iK*a come into yMs dons
agaiiii if once I fhoa'A go out.

Grife. Tis wdl laid, GiiL fEx. Gripe, Joyner, FUp,

Sir Sim, 'Twas ptcttUy iaid, I undcrftand you, they are
ckin and haveno intngue in 'cm* but dear, fwcct Mrs. M«r-
thgf *tii time we were gone, you Iutc ftole away youi Scai^
and Hood &om your Kwd, I hope.

Atfrf^ Nay* I am ready, but — —

Sir Sim. Coiife, dome, ^Simm jiJJlefht, poaOmtle*
man, is an impatient man to my knowledge.

Mm. Wdl my venbite is g^eat, I'm fute, for • Man 1
know noCi but ptay, Tomr, do not deoire me > is befo fine
a Gentleman, as you uy he is'^

Sir Sim. Pilh, pi(fa,he bthe— ^GcntlciDanofdKToWn,
fidth and troth.

M^. BntmayltlkcyeuiWDttl, Jmar^

Sir Sim. "Tk Mt my Word, 'tis the Wojdtjf ^ ^
Town. -^ .) -■- .

AOrrf. Excufe me, ^enw^ for that V 1 nevei heard any ^cak
well of him, but Mr. "Dtpferwity and you.

SirSim. ThatSbftaok heh^befenaRivaltoaHMctirUwl
a Gallfnt to dl Ladles > Rtvab, and deTertcd Mttbeffis; nera
fpattwcUofaMBo.

hUrt. Has he brai Q> ^neral in bb Atnouis, hs kinidnefi
knottobevBlaMthoi^

Sir Sim. The taxxt by yMi, becanfi: 'ftfor yoa tut dderts
dlriietdl, £0^1 and troth. •

Mgrt. Tou plead better foe hhn, than he con*d iec' Urn*
i^f, IbdieTc> for indefed they %, he bno better than an
Idcot.

Sir Sim. Then believe me Mftdan, forno body knows Um
bettet than 1 \ be hu-as much Wt« Coio^, and as good a
Heen to die fiiU, H 1 have i he an Idcot;

D d a Sir Sim.

404 I-^e in a Wood; OrJ

MiTt. The comtnan Gull {b perffncuoos a F(^ dn^
Women find him out, fiai noncof 'em will many him.

Sa^ Sim. You miy fee now, how he and you arc ^JUsM ;
kx that he is not Married, is a ligo of his Wit > and for
being pcTfpicuouSf 'tis falfe, he is as myflerious as a new
Pailiament Man, oi young Stues-Man, newly taken from a
Cotlee-houlr, or Tcnni5.Couit.

Mart. But it is a (ign ofbis Wit bccaufehe is not Man!-
ed?

Sir Sim, Yes, yes. your VVomcQ of the Town ravilb your
Fops;,
JTheie's not one about the Town unmamcd, that has an/

Mart. It may be then he has fpent bis £(late<

Sir Sim. How unluckily giic&'d. (.AfJti

li he had, be has a Head can ictricve it again.

^4Krti Bdides they &y he has the modilh diltonper.

Sir Sim. He can ciuc it with the be$ Freneb Cbirurgeon in
Town.

Mart. Has his Pndice on himTcir, been To much t

SsrSim. Come, come. ..

. F««, like dtfirtid Jilt, doesfiiS hlyt Mtn,
ff% daf^t.her Mtn, mufi be advisd-kf^-inxBO. \
For be fytovt befi of ar^^ hm ta try Men.

Tie Seem, the eUPeB-A0*

■ .,■■. ■ Enter Rangei and Daraerwitt'
: Rm> Now die Ltu/s have renouacM us i Hey (at tbcC^i-
fiiiia% flie cannot UK mc wotle than yotu bonoutabtc Mi*
ftnCdtdyou.

Dap. A Pox, fomc young Hdr, or unthcTa has . promised
bet tfii^iaf/B > itmt axe fo many Fgols in the World, 'tis
impdiibic a Min oS Wit to keep his Wepcb, iiom bc^ a
I.i{lr, ktmepoKh.

Ra». But have you no other Afg^tance that iticks to
her Vocation, in ipight of Temptations of Honour, or hlthy
Lucre ; J declare, I make Honourable .Lo^ meeily out dT
neocffity; as you Rooks pl^ oo the Sguaiic^ ladicr thu not
play at all.

St. Jzmti't'Parkl 40)

(To them Lconore, Lydta*/ WmtM Mask^J, with
Letter in her band*
Daf, CcHDC, the Devil will not lofe a Guncltn > here's
xeady Money for you, pufh Brelf.

iUs. Thou art as well met, as if by Affignation. (To her.
Leo. And you are as well met, as if you were the Man 1
look'd for.

Rm. Kind R(^?ie— i^
l-to. Sweet Sir.

Rm, Come> I am diy PiiliHiei, f without more words)

(bew but thy Warrant. (Goes to fmlh off her Mofk.

Leo. You miftakc, Sti here is my Pafs. (Gtvej him s

(Letter,

Rtft. A Letter, anddiredcd to me. (ReaJs,

I earniet fitt up the JnjurieSf and A^rontt you did tut lafl
^ight i -(a challenge upon my lilc, and by fjch a MeOcngeiJ
tbmfeneot^urejw by your Honour, at eight s Clock precifeljfy
this Evenii^ tofendyeur Man to St. James'/ Gate., *o wait
for me with tt Chair, to ConduH mu, to what vlace you fialt
thiak^utofi fit, for the giving <^ fat irfa£}ion to the injiir^d'Chti'
fiiiUt

Cbri^ina I I am amaz'd ! what i»*t a Ckiclci Dofftrwit }
Daf. It wants not half an hour c^d^t.
Ran. Go then backj my pretty Hcrauld,

Cto the U^d,
and tell my fair Enemy, the Icrvice (ho deCgns my Man, is
only fit fw tny Friend here 4 of whofc Faith and Honour, (he
may be feane of i he (hall, immediately, go wait for her at
St. Jumth Gate. whUfl I go to prepare a Face for out ran-'
counter, and my felf to dye at her feet :

("Ex. Leonore.
Dswenvit, AttxDapftrvit*
baf. What lucky SurptiTal's this I
Rm. Prithee as ho queltions. tiB i have more leifure, and
Ids adoailhrnent i I know, you will not deny to be an inftrtl-
ment m my hapf^ncfi^
Z><arjk No, let rai: perilb, I take as nudipkaTitfc to bring
Dd J LoTC^

'AOfi LeveimaWaod; Or,

Lomstogetbet, as aa old Woman, that as aBankni[A Gamc-
§et knes to look oi^ though he has no advantage by llie PI»f i
« 3S a Bully that f^hts not tum&If, jet takes Pleafure taict
Peopk logrtha by the Ears, oi as— -
, Rao. Sdeath, HtbisatinwfoiSioiilicudcs?

Dap. You hftvc made me mllcariy d a good ThoL^ht,
now kt me pcri(fa.

R^n. Go piefently to St. j^jmei's-Gatc, whac you axe to
exped the coming of a Lady f 'tis Cbr^ina) accompany'd
by that Woman you £uv e*ea now i ^ wiM permit you to
put ba ittto a Chaii, and then Condodl h« to my Lodgii^
wbUa 1 go bcfoie to remove fonw S(Hes, and pvpaie it for ber
RcGcpiini.

P«f>. YourLodginghadyounotfaettetcanyhettoFmMtt's
^is hard by, and there a Vizard Mask has as ficccegte& and »•
{Te&> as at the Play-houfti-

Ran. Pmth, thcHiftb it be not very prudent, yet (be (haH
c«nc ibitha la my Vindication > for he wou'd oat believe 1
had [ee« her lift Night

Daf. To have a tine Woman, and not tcU on'c as f ou ftf,
Mr. Rmgtf •

Raff. Go, and bring her to Vinetmh Lodging, there Jll
cxpeft you. iExdoa fevertilj-

Enter Chmia^ I&bcl, ler. WTomtfh

Jfa, This is the door Madam, here Ml FaieaH: Lodges.

Cbri. Tis no matter, we will pa(s it by, left the Peof^
i^oiu Lodgitigs (bou'd watch us i but if he fliw'd not be hoc
noW.

JjQt, Who, Mr. Valmvut Madam f I qaoaot you, my
inteIUgeiBf:v dates not fail me.

Cirri. Did become lalt Night, faidfK>

Jfa. LaA Night tate.

Cbri. And not fee me yet i nay, notlendtailR j 'tfefilUe^
he is not come i I wiOi he wore not. I know not wbidi 1
fhou'd take diote unkindly &om him, «xp(MGIng fails E& to his
revefig^i^ ^jcmics ; or being almofl: four an^l twenty houis lb
near .me, and not let inc know*r.

If0, A loros dangers ufi the only frcnts kspt from Im
Miftiels?

St. Jamca'/-P<«j^. 407

Mifticfe *. he OB^ not to yoa, bccaufe he wouM not putchafe
his Elappineg mm yout Fear and AppidMnfiooa,

CM. Nay. he^ come, I £ee, fince you arc come about
again o( his fide.

Ifg. WUyougpIn, Madam,' and difpcore mr, lfyoucan»
^is better than Handing in Ac &ieeti

CbrL We'UgotHttlefiirtbnfiif^ uidrctum.

, (Exam.

Vtnoent'i loJ^itt^.

Entir Vincent and Valentine.

yiM. I told you I had lent my Man to Cbfifiina% this
Morning, to cnqinic of her M«d, Cbo feldom denies btm a
feact) if hn Lady bad been at the Pi^taft Night > Whidi
<he pezcmptotily anfvned to the contrary, and afliuM him,
fte had not lUi'd oat fince yom Departure.

Val. WiU notCbamber-Maids lie, rtneetit ?

fni. WiH not Jtn^ tie, Valtntint}

Val. The Ciroitnliances of bis Story pov'd it trac*,

Vph DoyouthiRkfooldaMa^rin the£undty, as he, will
want the VatniQi of probalMHtyfbr his Ue&

Vi^ Do you thiniia Woman, having; tlie advantage of ha
Sex, and Edticatim, under fuch a Miib«ts, will want Impu-
dence to dif-aTow a Truth, that nd^t be prejucUcial to ^c
Miaiefi?

- ¥in. Bitt if both Teftimbnies ate blltble i why will you
needs believe his ? we are aptei to believe the diings we wou'd
have, than diofe we wou'd not.

Vai* My iH lucfe has taught me to oedit my Mif-(bituae^
and dqabt my Ut^ipinefi.

VtH. But Fortune we know iiftmOant.

Vd. AndaHcf hnSex.

Ktn. Wilt you yadge of Fortune by your Experience, andnoC
do your Milireis the fame Junice? go fee her, uid latisfic yout
icjf andbei i fcs if Oie be innocent, confidet how culpable
you ate, not only inyourcenfuresofhcr, butinnot&dnghoc
^nce your ccnalng.

Vd, If (he be innocent, I (hou*d be afiraid to furptile tier,
forheiSalK* '4ii^ Ilhou*d bcafitaidtofuiprifcher, formy

OWDf

Dd4 _ r^

'(jo3 Lave in a Wood 5 Or,

Vh' To be jeakxis, and liot tnquifitive, is as hanl as to lor;
ntrcamVi and not to be fpmahtog jealous.

Val. InijuiStiveoc&Hs Icldom cues (ealoulic, as drinking io
a Fcvei quenches the Thirft. - ■ *

Vin. If (he vat at thcFatk kfi Night, 'tis probable <fac^
not mifs thisi go watch bcr Houlb, fee who goes one, wbo
in V while I \ti the mean time futch out Rmgtr\ who, II]
pawn my Life, upon mon DifcDuife, Diall avow his mif^tobci
nei^ he is, go in, how luckily is he come i

Ejrttr Ranger.

Valentine rairti to the door hebind, ovtTrhemiw them,

Vitf. i!««Jf«rf you have prevented me i IwasgoniKtdfotA

you out, between the Scenes at the IVtfj^N/r, the Ceffte-ba^it

Tevifis'CBffrt, or Giffor£s, '

Ran. Do you want a pretence to go to a Bawdy-houfc i

but I have oihci. Vifits to mak&- ■ . . . .

^«. I forget, 1 (houMraihei have (ought you in C^y?ia«'s
Lodgings, ha, ha, ha.
. Ran. Well, wcil) I'm jud come to tell you dot Ca-/}?>««—
Vin, Proves not by Day'light> the kind Lady you folUm'd
laft Night out of the PKfi. . >

, fian. I have better news for you, to my thinking.
What is't i ■. : ,

tUn. Not that I hive been in Cbrifiin»s Lod^ng thb Mom*
ing i but thatfhe'llbeprolcQtlyhefcinyourLKl^ngwidime.
Val. How !

(BAmi.
Vttt, You fee now, his report was a Jcft, ameciJeA:
{Ortmmg back to the 4oor^ when Valentine ^m^
and ff tiding fofily to bim,
vnSf^aviA tny Lodging be your VauUing-SduoI Aill > thou
hiift, appointed a Wench to come hither, 1 Hnd.

(T'Ran.
Ran. A \Vcndi -, you feem'd to have more Rcvdcooefor
Cki/^iM lad N^t,

yiti. Now you ulk of Chr^ina, prithee tell mc what was.
tlie meaning of thy laft Nights Romance of Cbri^'taa.

,^. You Hull knot* the meaning of al^ when Cirifim*
COiticS) Q)i:'Ut)chcte[acfcnllf,

V^n. Who win, Ckri/iht0>
Ran. Yes, Cbrijhmi.'
f^in. Ha, ha, ha.

Ktfn. Inocdulous Eqtjt, thou att as cnTioos as an impotent .
Leccbei at a Wedding.

"J^im Thou ait dthrrmad, orasvainasaFrMc^fiMtf, new-
ly retuin'd home from a CmtpaigTi,^ or oUiging Eiigland.

Ram Thou art as envious as a Rival } butif thou an nunc,
there's that will make you dcfill >

(Gmt lain s Letttr»
and if you are not my Rival.; intniflingyou with fuch a Sccict;
wHl I kiiow, oblige you to keep it, and alfift me againft aK
other Intcnifls.''

' Vin. Do you think I tiake youi (eaec as an Obligation ?

don't I ttnow. Lovers, Travellas> and Poets, wUl give Money

to be heard i but- what's the Paper ? a Lampotm upon Cbri'

fiina^ hatched laA night betwixt Squire Dafftrwit and you,

, bccaufc hei' Maid us'd you fcurvily.

Ran. No, 'tis only a Letter firom her, to (bcw, my Com-
pany was not fo difguliful to her lafl Night, but that Ihe dc-
iiics it again to Day>
Vd, A Letter firocn her.

Vm. A Letter from C^n/fM, ( ^tai.

Ha, ha, ha: {Rtadt.

Ran. Nay,' 'tis pleafant

Vin. 'Yoia miflake, ll^gh at you, not the Letter.
Ran. \ .am like the winning Gameflei/ fo pleas'd wi(h my
Luck, I wHlnot quairelwithany, whonllsmcaFoolfoi'jt.
Vin. Is this the ftUe of a Woman of Honour >
Ran. It may be, for ou^t you know y I'm fure, 'tis well
if your female Conrefpondents can Read.

Vm\ muft confe&,I have none of the little. Letters^lf name, '
or Title like your Spuiilh Epillles Dedicatory ••, but that i Man
fo frequent in honourable Intrigues, as you «e, fhould not
Jotow the fmnmcHis of an Impudent common Woman, from
dtat t^a Peitbn of Honour.

Rm. Cbrifiina is fo mudi a Perfon oi Hopcw, ffae'It own
wIgU ihe has Writ, when Ihe comes.
fk. But wiD Ok come hither iodoci i

'Ato Ltvein.aWaodi OtI

Rjnt. Immediately •■, you'll nccHrcf^ liberty with you, I
' couM not conceal fuch a Happindsj firgm fudi a Fcinvl as yon,
left you [hou'd have taken it unkindly.

Vpt. Ftjih, you hare obltg'd me inelccd i (bi you, joA
otheis wou'd often have made me believe yoiv honoNnU: In-
ttigues, but ocver did me tbc Honour to convitwc ntt^ 'em
betoie.

Ran, Yw are meiiy, I find* yet.

Vin, Wiicn you are happy, I cannot bi (rthawite,

Xan- But 1 loTc ttmc, I ftiou'd lay a little Pafbn in AmbuA,

(Afik.
that lives hud by, in Cafe CbrijUita fbou*d be hnpitknt lobe
scvcngM of her. Friends, as it otten happnis wkh a di^
tented Hcksfs i. Women Kbe old SoHiets, more mmbly £x>
ccute, than kfaey itfi^ve.

oiot a Wonii

yitL What mvt you wSl not dif-appoiot a
Chrifiitut's Quality ?

ItM. I'Jl be hoc bcfiiK Ac comes, I watraot you.
(Ex, Rail.

yith I do believe you traly : What think yoa Vdtmimt ?

f^al. Ithink, lince (be has the Courage to chalenge him;
. Ibe'D have the Honour of bdr^ fiifl in the FkVd.

FiMk Fye, your Opbion ot her mult be as bad, as Rmpt
of hlmfelf is good, to think fbe wouM write linBi ; I lo^
till his bem-rcks comes, that you may be both ditabus'd.

yal. AiidIhavcra]CRlti<noitofi>rlHiCaaii^ left yoa
(hou'd be dif-abus-'d.

Eattr ChiiiUM siU Uabd.
Vin. Here (he i£ i'fdth i I'm gM flic's <nw.
^W. And i*m loriy ■■, but I will to ray PoA agyo, kft fiic
Ifaeu'd lay fhc came to me. ■'

>!». fiyHevKiw, Cir/^wuhatictf; 'as (he!

(4^. . f ChriltaaB ftih t0hir Muk

Vol. 'Tis (he i cuTs'd be thefe Eyes, moR ona'd, thtf
when they Hflk bctray'd.rac toi^t laUebttvitdui^Face.

(Sthml
Chri. You may wqndet, Sir* to fee me here ■ ; ■■ . ':■;

Vim

St. JamesVPtfTife 41 {

Tfiff. Imuftcoafdsldo.

Chii. But die coi&leQoe yaiu Fiiencl hasbTOu, kthe
caufe of nine ; and yet ibmc bliilbcs it do's oofi mc^ to come
to feck foi a Man.

^W. ModcflCicatuic (&iW.

Tm. How m I (ioxiv'd / (^>J^.

C<&H. Whne k bt, Sir> why does he not apfiear to keep

me fai CooniOMiKe^ ynj call him, Sit, 'tic fooMtbing hard

if be {hou'd know Vm hoe.

Vm. I hardly can, my lelt, believe you are bete. Madam.
Cbri. If ray Vilit be aoublefonte, ot unfoibnable, 'ds youc .
Friend's Fauk,ldcfi^'(iit not toyou&i pi»y, call him our,
that he may esnifc it, and take it on himfclT, togechct with
my Shame.

Vm. How in^llent Ibc is .' C-^tfi^*

Chri. Or do you delay the Happtnelfl I a^, to make it
moK welcome ? IhaTeftay'dtookHigfiHitalieady, andcuH.'
not mote defite it i dear Sii, call turn out, whore is he ^
alwTc, or hoc widiin ? Ill fiutdi the Favour wlvch you witl
native : (Gotj to tht Jfory mi Jifaavtrt Vuendne.

What do you hide yom Tclf for Shame ^
^«/. Imoftconfeftldo.
Chri Tofeemecomebid i cfr — "
r«/. lacbiwwkdgpit.

(Val. ifftrtUfpMt.
Cbri. Before yni cane tomci bK wtaduido yougo^
comelcan fcwgivcyou.

VaL But 1 cannot for^TC you.

Cbri. Whither do you go ? you fxed not frargea Quatiel, '
to pierent mine to you \ aOr need you try if 1 wou'd foUow
you ; you itnow I willj I ham, you (ec
VmI. That impudence (hould kx)k fo like innocence.

Cbri. Whither wou'd you go ? whywouMyougo?
Val. To bA\ your Sernac o) yoiL
C^f. She is here, what wou'd you hive Withher ?
Val. 1 noean yoiuLiOvcr» iheMan-you cametomcet.
Cbri, Oh Heaven».' what Lova? what Man? 1 cioK to
Ik QQ Man but you, whom 1 had too long hrf).

411 Love ii* * Wood i Or,

VaL You couM not know that I was heic<
Cbri* Aik her> 'twas (he that told me. CBdmtt (•

I&bd.
VmI. How cou'd (he know ?
Cbri. That you fliall know hcifaftn.
VmU No, you thought mc t6o far out of tfie wajr, to
dilhirb yout Affignarion > and I alTuie you, Madam, 'twas
my ill fortanc, not my defign •■, and that it may appear fo,
1 do withdraw, (as in all good breeding} and cinlity, I am
oblig'dj for fure your wi(h*d for Lover's coming.
Chri. What do you mean ? are you a weary of that Title i
Vtd. I am afbam'd of it, Gnce it grows common.

(GeM^ out,
Cbri. Nay, you will not, (hall not go.
y^. My fhy might give him Jealo^iiie, and fo do you fn*
jinv, and him the greaicft in the World ; Heavens forbid .' I
wtw'd not make a Man Jealous \ ibr though you cill a Thou*
bud Vows, and Oath^ and Tears, to wltncfs, (as you fafely
may) that you have n6t the lealt of Love for me? yet if ht
ever knew, how I have Lov^'d ydu, fure be wou'd not, cou'd
not believe you.

Cbri. I do confels, your Riddle is too hard for me to folvei
therefore you arc oblig'd to doV your felf.

r«/. I wtOi.it were capable of any other Interf»etation}
dian wtnt you know already.

Chri. I»this that generous good VsUmtKt who has dif-
guls'd him fo. (Sht wean

Vin. Nay, Imull widi-hddy(»tiin>: (SriWiVal.

f^otHg mt.
methinkslbelhoa'd.belmioomtv her Tongue, and Eyes; to-
gether, whh that (loud that' fwelli 'em,' do vindicate her
Hcarr.

V4L They Ibewbuttheiilongpiafttcecf Diffimulation.
(Gmf Mtr.
ViOi Come back ; I hear ^Sjo^tr onoing up ; '(by but Kll
becomes.' , ; ; ' '

y^l. Do yoa diink I have the patience d[ an MAet-
nuniL ■ . , i . . -

Vin. You may gq out this way, whea J-flu will) by the
back-ftairs; bat (lay a little, till— -Ohj here be comes.

3c Jjitncs's-Pafki 413

Rangff enters,
t^mi. My Revenge will now detain loe. (Valcn. relim (*gsht,

Ufon RangctV tntranett Chrilliaa futi en herMMs\.
Jtm. What, come alieadr f where is Baffemit ? {Afidt^i
The Blefling's double that comes quickly i I did not yet ex-
pcd you hoC} otheiwife 1 had done my fclf the injury to^ he
abfent ; but 1 hc^c, Madam, I have not made you fiiy long
ibr me.

Cbri. I have not {laid at all ft» you.
RoH. I am glad of it, Madam.

Cbru Is not this that lioubldbme ftrai^cr, who (Tb IlibcL
Laft nig^t followed the Lady Into my Lod^ngs i ^tb he.

(Jfidt.
(Rimovu» from him to t'other fidu
Ran. Why do's Ok temov e fo difdalDhilly from me ?

I find you take it iU, 1 watnpt.atyOuccominghcrei Mad^un.

CBri. Indeed I do -not, you aie millakcn, Sir.

Rm' Ctmhrm me by a fmile then. Madam i remove that
Cloud, which mak^ me-apptehend (Goet to tsit offhir Matk*
foul Wcailm : Mr. f(inet^t^ pray retiie ; 'tis you keep on the
Ladies Mask, and noI^pWuK, which Ox has for mei ycr.
Madam, you need not dhhull his Honour, or his Faith \ but ■
do not keep the Lady under con{inint ; pray leave us a little, '
Maftei fincent.

CbrL You mufi not leave us, Sir ; wcHi*d you leave me
with a Stranger ?

Vol. How^thatl (Behind.

Jt«i. I-vedoneandfi, If]i:;d) tobtingherhitbcr, {Afidt,
Madam, I undaftand you ■■ ■ ■ (Apart to Chriiiina.

Cbri. Sir, I do DOtunderOaodyou.

Raa, You wou'd not be known to Mr. Vincent,

C<£n. Tis yoit Acqaintancel wou'd avoid.

Aof. Dull Brute, ttutlwas, to bringhcr. hither: (Afidt,
I have found tny Error, Madam* give mc butanewappoint-
mcot, where I may mca you by and by, and ftraight i wiQ
wididraw, as if I knew you not. (.Siftlyto ber>

Cbri. Why, do you know me ?

Ran. I miiftnotownit? (^^idt:

No, Madam, but— ^^ (Offtrttajshiffer.

f:Bri

Cbru WhifpntRg, gir, ttpM an old Acquntana ; but I
have not the vanitf to be thcught of ymas, mmI tvfolre you
flnll never have the ^ifptngcnicfit of mine '• Mt. Fineint, |say
ktusgoinhnr.

Mm, How^ this .' I im imksne I fo; but if I let ha ga
dwi, I fh>IV be sn etemd htughii^ Rock to ^hteeiif.

Vm. Do yni not know t£n, Mtdam > 1 tbcu^ht you h»I
coroe hithei on purpotc to nuxt hitn.

C£ri. To meet htm!

Vm. By youi own appohtrmnt.

Cbti. Wbat ftiaiwe infiiiuciion do*s delqde you all > yoa
knowa bcfiidthedtdfnDtknowtiK.

Vm, You wiit to him, he has yow Letter.

Chri. Then yon know my nuM'Turc? yctyoucoofcfiMIxit
now, ynn knew me not.

Xmr. I muf) confefs, your Angci has dt^uis'd you, mne
dian yooi, MaA ; fotlthdo^ tohavemecabtndeTCirv/^
xahere.

Cbh. Mnvens.' how cou*d beknow me in ttsiFfacej* he
WatdiM nehHha fim ; or is there any other oFniy niitK) tfaac
yon imy no kmger nuRake tne, for yaaxChnfiiia > 1*11 putt
off that which fooths your Error. rZ^iff/ ^ her Mstit^

kmi. Tahe but t'other Vizard off too; Imean^onrAtiger,
and mfWcar yon arc the fiunCj andonlf OriJUfM, n^ddi I
wifli'd, and diought to meet here.

Chi. How coa^ you tMnk to meet roc here t

Ran. By Virtue ofthisyoai Commiffion, (Gkntitr
the Litter.
whkh now, I fce^ wa« meant a leal Chdfet^i fok you loc^
ai if yon wou*d tight with tne.

Cbri. The Paper b a Ihmga to ine^ I itCTermitit, yon
are abua'd.

Vsa. C^^ffuisaPafonoPHtHXfQr, and'wflovfnwfiatQie
haswrittetr, Kaum-.

Km. So, theOoAedy begins > I OiaR be lau^IM at fiifBci'
ently, Ifl donotiuftUiemyfelf; I moft fH rn/ iiuptidenct to
hets, Iheisiefolr'dtoclenyalliree, and I havt loft flfihobe of
ber. {AfiiU.

Vin. Cone, Eiitb g<wyr?rr^

. D„.....Googlc g^

. Sc. James VPdTj^J 415

IbtH. Yoa wiH deny too, Madvn, that I fc^owM ^ou
laft Nigbt fram the Pnk, to yout Lodging, whne I flayM
vith you till Morning ; yqu nevei (aw mc bcfbie I wttftant^
Cbri, Tint yon nidriy tntiiided, laft night, into tny Lodg-
ing, i cannot tliiny! but I wonder yni have riie corrfidence to
biag of it ; fine yoa wiU not of your Reception ^

Rm. I never was fo iH-bred, astobragof my Rccq>tic»b
a Ladles Chamberi not a word of that, Madtin*

F0L How! if he Iks, 1 revenge her i if it be true, I re-
venge my felf. (Vikntiite Jravi ha Sword, ivbicb
WaKeatfetingt tbrujfi hint back,
0a4 frntt tbt door upn him hefere
bewMdifeev€r'dlnR.df\ffT,
fivw LyAt tmd hf UPmAm, fi^mg tt the door.
Jjji' MUhat do 1 (ee*! Gk^fh* with him .' a Gbuntet-plot
tonmei M'maikiD me, «id 11, ridicntoigj.'tis trae, I nnd
di^ hitc been long Acquainted, 4nd I long Abus'4 > but fince
Su intends ac litun^ in ff^ght, is well as ftaiAe (not emula-
tion) I retire t (he dcTavcs no oivy, who wilt befbortly in
my condiikmi l^natuiralincoBAaacy, wSl prove my beft re^
Toigponhoi-— 'Bobothi ■ -

(£9MS« LydU 31^;^ ir- ^(MUtf.

Da^pcrn^t to titm.

Daf* C^/^JM^t^goingawiy again i whxt^thfcmatttt? •

Sm* Whit dt>^ you mean?

I>Mp. I fcarce had paid the Churmen, and Wascxitnihgup
after bcr, but I met her on the Snits, bias much baft, as if
fhe had been firigbtn'd. '

San. Who do youtalk cf ? /

Dtfpi C&r^M, whoib I tookup fai a Ch&, jiot now at
St. ^Awei'ttGatt. ,

Km. Thou art Mad, here (he ii, thts h CEif^*^

D»f. ImA'c&akft, IilidnotfijefaerFactt bntlaralbre
AlC UdyisgoACjthitlbMWgbtfufttiow.

ttm. I tcttyoti, again, thisis ihe ; did you bring two?

C^ IcMieinnoduir, hadno guide, Int tnj Wbmatt
dwie.

Fhi. Whtsb-did- you fcrii^ your Lady, J>afptni>U ?

Dt^. Ev^Qow, juftnow.

M

4.1^ tave in a Wtod^ Qt,

yd. Tliis Lady has been bere half an hour.' <

Rm. He knows not whu he (ays> he is mad, you ue all fi
too, I tm To too.

Vin. Ti5 the beft cxcufe you can nuke for your (elf, anj
by owning youi milbke, you'll (hew you an come to yuir
fclf; I my felffawyDut Woimnatthedoor, whobuC look'd
in, and then ttnmcdiately wcQt down again,as your &iend Dtf-
fervit too af&mis.

Cjbri. You, had beft follow hei, that look'd .for you; vji
I'll go feck out hiniv I ume to (ec; Mr. Vmctnt, pray kt me
in here.

2un. 'Tis very Bne, wcmdrousline.' (Chx'^OoAgeeJtid
a little md rettmu

Cbri. Oh he is gone.' Mr. riAMiM fidlow luin i bewerc
yetsooie levere. to me, in indangpihg his Life, than iilhii
Ccnfuies in tne \ you know the power of his Eooiues is gieat,
as thai inalice '■> juli Heaven preserve him from' them, 'and me
firom this ill, oc unlucky Man. {Ex. Chriflini, btrWcmtk
tad ViaceOL

Rjm, 'Tis well --^- nay,, certainly, I (baQ never be maA*
er of my Scnfcs inoie i but why do'ft thou hdp to iiSaa£t
metoo^ ■

D»f, My aOoni(hment was as ^eat as yarns, to (ce her go
away agiiin ', I .wou'd have Aay'd hei if I cou'd:

Ran. Vet, again, talking of a Woman you met grat^ou^
tvhen I talk of Giri/7i«a. ;
, Ran. I tal^ofC^isditQO.

Ran. She went out jufinowi the WtsnanytMi fbottd nut
with, was fbe:
, Diif<i That was not lhe.Ciri/l[/if« 1 (noiight jofi now.

Ran. You luou^t tier, altDofl, half an houK ago ; S-dcadt,
will you dvi roc ue lye ^

Daft A. UdjF diliqppoiQted $y hff Oallaaj^ ^h^ ,ni^t bcfote
her )ourneyV cou'd not be mote tow:h^ .with her. Makl, or Hu>
band, thanjou are with me now, after youi^dif-appc^ntmcDti
but if yon think me fp,.]'!] go fetve my f^tteKcafiaT
for ou^t I kiiow, I have dit-appointcd Mrs. Martha for you^
and nnay Jolc Thirtf Thoufaiid founds by tbet)«^un: £ucwe^
aRavingLorcrisfitfotfolitude^ (£)c.Dap.

..Cookie

m

St. Jsnxs'S'Parkf 417

Rah. Ljfiiot Triumph,' I now am thine again 'i oi.\a~
tiigaes,honodtaUc oc difltonounUe,xnd a]l forts of Rambling
I talK my leave ; whni we are giddy, 'tis time to fhnd Aill :
Why fllou*d we be fo fond of the By-paths of Love ? where
we are AiU way-lay'd, with Suiprizes, Trapans, Dangers,
aod Murdering Difappointnients?

J»P 0t *tUlmi-mmi Buff, we rm$ at All,
l^hilfi th^f rbtt had m, laugh to ftt ms Fall ;
And wbtn wt thitikt we bald the Lady Fi/,
Pf^efindithtthtrScatft orVeih at Lafi.

(Exeunt.

A C T V. SCENE L
St.Javaes't-Park:

Enter Sir Staion Addleplot, leaditigMri. Marthi, Dapperwlt.
•Sir Sim, \ T length, you fee, I ha»c freed the Captive
Xm. Lady, for her longing Knight, Mr. i>«y;>eni'/j,
who bring* ntf a Plot cleverly new ^

Dap. 1 wifb c»ir Poets vat half lb good atlt'> 'Mrs. 'Mar-

that a Thoufand wekona— . .■■ - — (Dappcrwit Kiffet and

(Embraces Mri. Martha.

Sir Sim. Hold, ho]d, ^i yoar )oy is a fittle too £uniliar,
i( Faith and Troth-^

P^. Will you not let me fahice Mlrs. Martha ?

Mart. What, JoHofy do you think I do not know good
breeding i matt I be taa^ br? you ^

Sir Sim. 'I wou'd have kept the Maiden-head of your Lips,
foryourfwcet Knight, tAis. Martbjj that's alii Idare fwear,
you never kiTsM any Mm before, but your Father.

Mart: My Cwtct Knignr, if he will be Knight of mine,
tnlift be coutented with what he (inds, as well as other Kni^tl

Sir Sim. So ftnart already, Faith and Troth !

Mart. Dear, Mx.Dapperwit, 1 am orerjoy'd to Ac you j
butIthinIiboncft7OTif/toi*t. '

fie Sir Sim.

4rB Lowe in » Wood'-, Or,

^ir SJ»>.How(hehagshim!. -. i40de,

MarU Poor Mr. Dajipffvit, I thought I.fliou'd dcvct hare

fcm youagaini but I thank hcaiclX Jonar theft— ^ — (_Sh€

bugt Dapperwit

Sir S'm. Do not thank me, Mrs. Adartlm, any tnoie thaa
I ihank you.

Mart, I wouM not be ungratefol, Jonaii

Sir Sim. Then refetvc your kbdncTs, only, for your Wor-
thy, Noble, Brave, Heroick Knight who loves you only,
and only dcfcives your kindncfs.

Mart. I will ihcw my kindnefs to any Woithr, Brave,
Heroick, Knight, in being kind to his Fiimd, his dear Friend,
wjio help'd him to mc. ('^"K* Dap. agsia.

SirSim. But, Miiixt(s Martha, he U not to help hion always i
tho' he helps him to be married, he is not to help him when
he is Married. . ,

Mart. What, Mr. Dafperii'ity will yoa love my worthy
Knight, lefs after M3>^'i^g^> .<han twforc i that were againft
the Cunoni ; for Maniags gets a Man Friends, inllead of lof-
ingthofe he has.

Va^, I will eyt:i t>c his Servant, and your^ Dcai Nbdam,
do not doubtme. , . . /

Mart. I do not, fweet, (Jeaf, Mr. Dafferipii', butlfhou'd
not have Teen you thcfe two pays if it bad not been for honeft
Jmai , _ . "(We tifti Dap,

SirSim. Fpr Shame, though (he be young and foolilh, do
not you wrong mc to my Face. [^;*rtreDap.

, Dap. Wou'd you have me fo ill Bred, as to repulfe ba in-
nocent kindnefe ", wiiat a- ^hing it is to want Wit !
- Sir Sim. A Pox, 1 q\itH nuke had to difcovet my felf^ at
I (hall difcover, what I wou'd not dilcover ; but if ^ lhou*d
difcoveimy felf in thishabit /tyvouMnotbctbiny advantasp*
but I'll go, put on my oiyn Cloaths, and look like aKni^t :

Well, Mrs. Martha, I'll go fetk out your Knight i are you
not impatient 10 fee him ^ (Je hrr.

Mart. Wives mull be obcdtenti let him take his own time.
. Sir Sim. Can jou tiuft ybur^fclf, a turn oj two, with
Maimer Z>rtp^«n((( ? . ...

St. Jimts's-Park. 41^

Mart. Yes, yes, yoaai^ as long as you will ,
Sir Sim. But I vfroa'd i»t thift you with htni) if I coii'd
help it i C4Wf.

Simmy' J fflgl^t fat what ht dares not Blame ; .
Andcamiot hiUge for ^ tart norfiayfor Shame,

(Exi Sif Sink

Dtf. I am glad he is.goiK, that I may Laugh, 'tis fucha
tnbade of Fops, that his Converfation Ihou'd be plealanC to
tne, even when jt hindied mc of youis.

MMrt: Indeed, rni glad lie is gone tod,, as [^ea&nt as he is.

Daf. I know why> 1 know why, fwect Mis. Martha \ I
warrant you, ybu had tathei bav$ fhe. Parfons Connpany,
thaii his ? now you an out of yout Fatha's Houle, 'tis time
to leave being a Hypocrite.' ...

Mart. Well fOr the jcOs .Sake, to difappcHnt my Knigl^, I
wou'd not care If I difappcxnted oiy fclf of a Ladylhip. .

Daf. Come, I will not keep you on the Tenters, I knoi^r
you have a mind to make fine of me, Lhave a little Chaplain,
I nd(h be weie a Bilhop, or one of the Fryars, to pcrfc^ our
Sevea^ dpon dut Zealous Jew, your Fadier.

Mart. Do lAx Ijxik Ul of iny Father, he bas been youx
Friend I'm fure.

Dd^. My Friend -*

Marti His hibd uiage of me, oonfpir'd tnth your goo^.
Mcen, and Wltj and to avoid flavery under Mm, I floop to
your Yoke. . . , ^ ^

Daf, I wilt be cMg'd to youi Father, for nothme Imu a
PoctioR, n(» to you for your LQve ; 'tw^s d^e to my Inerit.

Mart. You (hew yout {elf Sir SimotC& Originalj if 'twere
(lot fof tlut Vanity— — ^

7>aft I (hou'd be ho Wit, 'tis the Ixulgp of to? calling i tot
you can no moiefinda Man. of Wit without Vauityj thani
tine Woman without AAcdatun : But let us go, bcfoic the
Knight ootnes again. . . ^ • . .

Mart. Let uf gobefotc my Father romes, Ik ibod will have
the Intelligence.

D^. Stay, let me diuik a little.' , . (Faxfif,

■ Jltf«M. Wlilat^ you thinking of? you Qiou'dl^vetbov^
before thii tink, or, Ifbou'd have thought rather. ,, ^

4to l-ave in a Wacd; Or,

, Daf. Peace, Peaw.

Mm. WhatareTouthinkingof?

7>M. I am thinking, what a W\i without Vamty, h fikt j
h-'isliKc— —

Msn. Youdo'nottMnhwcaRlnapuUkk V'het, andiuf
be &upris'dt and pmenttd by myyatha's Soxits,

Jiaf, What J wou'd youhaTc mc lofe my Thought f

Mart. You wouM rattier lb(ey(»irNfifiicfi, itfeems:.

Daf. He is like I think PmaSot to N^;hc» let m

Pctift.

Mm"*' Nay, if y<)u are fo io Lore mtb your Thou^.

(O0ntugk

Dm. Aieyou fo tiDpatient to be ray Wife ? he b Qke~>
he is like—— a Ptifture without Oiadows, or, ot—^-a Face
jvitbout latches — - or a Diamond mtlnut a Foyl » tbcfe an
tev Thou^ts now, ihffetrcTMW.

Marh You are Wedded alicady.to youiTboi^tiv Ifa^
good Night.

Z>«^. Madam, do not take 'it ill i

For lefj ofhdpm Though^ thett'snmjtmiHh.

That's new again, the thought's ne«r. (£MMtf.

Enttr Gfipe, U»di«g Mrj. Liicy, Joyna,

CtokHte, fcltawmg.

Gripe. Mrs. Jvjfntr, I can conform to this Mode of FdllicJc
Walking by Moon-light, becaufeone'is not kaoim.

Liay. 'Why, areycuafliam'd'ofyour Gompany>
' Gripe. No, pretty one i becauft in the daik, or as it were
the dark] there ts no Envy, nor Scandal i I wouM ndtba
lofcyou, nbrmyKcpufiition.

7^n. YooT Rrputatlon i indeed, your Wf»fliip> *ds well
Itnoffii, there 3te>igtBve Men, as your Worihtp i nay. Men
in Office too, that adjourn their Caies, and Bufioefle^ to
come and unbend thetnfelves at Ni^ here, widi a little vi*
zard'Mask.

Gripe. I do believe it, Mrs. Jiyter.
■ Lmrf. I God-mother, and arrics, and tiqus ber-ac Uul-
bcrry-Gaidcn.

St. JamesVP^Ti^. 411

Cr«f. Nay« do's not only tfcat her, but gives tm. his whole
niMyinp of mat day.

Grife. They inajr, they may, Mrs. Cra/i^fej thcycike^oTe
iiz itf the -hundred.

Cn^. Nay* theie ate thole of fo much worth, and honour,
and loTc, that they*!! take it from their Wives and Children,
to give it to didr MiScs -, noW your Worfliip has no Wiir,
and but one Chjld. .

Grif. Still for npy Edification. (^^de.

Jiyn. That's true indeed, for I know a great Lady, that
cannot follow hex Hi^nd atiroad to his Uaunts, becaufe her
FentndlDC is fo tagged and g'cafic > whilft his Mtllrcfs is as fine
as fippqice, in emuot^eted Sattcns.

Gfife* ^lUtickly ^pqc of him indeed > if the truth were
knpmt, he is i^^fUm by that, Uinph "

Cref. Tnily, yqui Womeo of quality, are' very troubTefoine
to. their IlK^^^nds i 1 have heard 'em complain, they will allow
ituaiDO leparate OHUptahiancej though the Honourable Jilts,
themlelves, will not marry mtboi^t it.
. j^ev*. P>n», come, Millre^, fom^imes 'tis the craft of
th<^ Gentlancn, to complain of their Wives expenccs, toex-
>iu|« tibcli own nairownels to their Mjfles-, but your Daughter
has a Gallant that caa nuke no excule.

<Jr>(tt* So, ^ci. . jovjun-— my Friend, Mrs. Jtynir. —

Ck^ I hope, indeed, hc'U give my Daughter no caufe to
diu).Mlil * fiwpoof Wretch, fhc is as modefl as her MoitiCr.

Qrift. Iptafefs, I believe it.

Im^. Bm, I have die boldn^fs to ask him for a Treat,
COOK, GfkUaot, yf^ nti^ walk towards the Mulbeity-Gard'n.
GrifhSo- — 1 9ED ftfrud, little hjlifliils, the Rooms arc all taken
upijy tbistinic-

Joys. Will you (hame your felfagain f CAfidtto Gripe.

Lmj, IftbeAooms bcfiiil, we^lKavc an Aibor.

<h^, At ttpF tiimp qf ni^l i befidcs the Waiters willnc'n
ooqMii«w y(4i.

Imy, They wlH be obfctvjint of good CuHomerSj as wc
(hall be i come along.

Grife. Indeed, andvoily, little MiftfCl^, IwouMgo,but
that 1 (houU be foritvpro, if I did.

Ee5 : g^

4 j£ Lcpe in a Wood 5 Or^ ^

'^oyn. That's to pitiful an Excufe " -*

Gripe. IntraEh, IhaTefotrwointbePlace, evetGncelm
pawn'd there fdi a Reckoning*

Liui^. You have broken many an Oath for the good ^
caule, and will )0U Boggle at oas for your poor, Itetle hAW.
come along.

Lady Flippant behind-

Flip* unfortunate E^y, that I am A I have left dit
Herd on purpole to be ch^^'d, and have wandred this hom
here \ but the Park afibrds not To much as it Satyr for mc, (and
that flrange) no Buigundy Man, ox drunken Scourer wHI reel
biy wayi the Rag-wpmen, and Cydcr-womenj have better

luck than I but who arc thefe ? if this mungril l%ht do's

hot deceive me, *tis my Brother, 'tis he, there's Joyntr too,
and two other Women i I'll follow 'cm ^ it muftbebe, fat
ti^ Wotld hath nothing like him i I know not i^at the De-
vil may be in the other. {Examt Omms,
' \Eattr ^<> Simon Addleplot ysjfweCiMtij-, DappctwiC
and Mrs. Martha, wtfetn hj him gttbe ditr.

^ir Sim. Well, after all my fecking, lean fifld thofe I
woii'd not find ; I'm fure 'twas old (Mpr, and Jopm vntb
him, and the WidowfoUow'd ; he woii'd not have been here,
buttohavelbu^thjs Daughter, fureibut vi^Iant D^ferwk
basfpy'dhimtodi and| has, nodoi^it, iecm'd her fitun hfan.
■ Dap And you* (BelmJ.

Sir Sim. The Rogue is as good at hidiag, as I atn at Deal-
ing a MiArefs ; 'tis a vain concrited Fellow, yet I think, 'tk
in honcft Fellow : But again, he is 3 damnable Whoting Fel-
low ) and what opportunity this air, and darknefs may endine
*em'to. Heaven knows ; for 1 have heard the Rc^;ue hy hiin*
felf, a Lady will no more (hew her modeftjr in the dark, thai
a Spaniard his Courage.

Dap. Ha, ha, ha — "■■.^—-«

Sir Sim. Nay, if you are thcix my true Friend, I'llfingive
yourhcarktiing, if you'll forgive mycenfurcsi Ifpcaktoyou,
dear, Mid^in Martha ; dear, dear ~—Bdiold your waathy
Knight.
f Mart. That's far from Neighbours.

Sir Sim. I 's come to reap the firuit of his labours.

Mart. I cannot fee the ICnight.i well, but I'm furc I beat
Jones, ^.- ^^irSim,

St. James'i-Pdr^, 423-

Sir Sim. I sm no Jonoft Mrs. Martha.

Mart. The nij^t is not fo daik, not the Pfniquc fo big,
but I can difcnn Jonat.

Sir Sim. Faith and Troth, I am the very Sr Simm Addle-
plat-, that is to marry yoii > the fame, Dafferwit folicited you
tor ; ask him cKc,- my nanric is not yonat.

Mart. Ydu think my youth, and fimplidty, rapabis brdus
chetti biit let me telt ym, Jtmat^'as not your bonrow'd
ck>4th5, and titles, ffaall make me^ mair^ my FathCi'S Man.

Sir Sim. Bonow'd title i I'll be fwom 1 bought it of my
Landrels, who was a Court Landrcfs i but indeed, my doiths,
I have not pay'd for ; - therefore in that fcnfe are borrow 'd.

Mart. Ffichee, Jovas, fei the jcfl end, or I (\\i\\ be prefcnt-
ly in camclV*

Sir Sim. Pray be la eameft, and let us go i theParfoii, and
Supper, ftayfor us, and I am a it£night in eanieft.

Mart. You a Knight, infolcnt,{awcyFool ?

Sir Sim, The Devil take me, Mrs Marth.L, if I am not a
Kni^t now \ a KnighfBaronet too ; A Man ought, 1 ftp, to
garty his Patent in his Pocket, when he goes to be marry'd,'tis
more neccllary than a Ucehfe > I am a Knight indEcd, and in>
deed, now, Mts. Martha*

Mart, Indeed, and indeed, the trick will not pais, Jomt,

Sir Sim. Poor Wretch, flw's afraid, (he (hall not be a Lady :
come, COOK, diicovct the intrigue, Dappemiit'

Ad!«rf. You need not difcover the intiigue, 'tis apparent a1-
Kidy \ unworthy Mt. Dapferwit^ afta my contidchce repos'd
in you ; cou'd you be fo little generous, as to betray me to my
Father's Man; but I'll be even with you/

Sir Sim. Do not accuTfi him, poor Man, before you hear
lum ; tell her the intiigue, Man.

Dap. A Pox, (he will not believe us.

Sir Sim. Will you not cxcafi your fclf ? but I mull not let
it red fo) know then, Mrs. Martha.

Mart. Cotne,' I foi^vc thee before thy con&flion, Jmat ;
you never had had the confidence to have dcfign'd this Cheat
upon mr, but firom Mr. Dapfenvit's encouragement, 'twas his
Plat. ,

Sir Sim. Nay, do not do me that wrong, Madam<

Mart. Bat llnce he has trapan'd me out of my Father's
Houfe he is like to keep me as long a? I live, ani ib goodnight,
Jem. Ee 4 Sir Sim.

^24 ^^'^^ ^"^^^ Wifod ^ Of,

Sir Sim. Hold, hold, what d*yc auan both ? pddiee kll

her IamSir5wM», ia^aojutar.

7>ap. A Pox, (he will not believe us> I tell you.

Sir Sint, lhzvcfiOv\ieiia,Pai(oa, and.Siippei; atMalber-
ry-Gaidcp, and invited alt mj Friends I<ou*d meet in cbr
Park.

Pi^. Nzy^ taibat[)aa they (halt be di(ap(»inted,thcKQuU
be a Bride and Biidcgroc^, to qUatam 'em i Mi& Jldarth*
and I'll go thithet prcfcntly.
' Sir Sim. Why, (hall (he be youcBiidc?

Daf* You fee (he will have it fo.

Sir Sim. Will you make Dsfptrwit ygut Husband.^

Mart. Rathex than my Father's Man.

Sir Sint. Oh ihe Devil

M4rt. Niy, come alone;, Jonsi, yaa QuH make one at the
Wedding, fince you hclp'd w contrive It.

Sir Sim, Will you cheat your Telf, for fear of being cheated ?

Mar$. I am dcfpcratc pow>

Sir Sim. Wik thou let her do fbillathln^ Dsfferwitf as-
to marry thee ? open her Eyes, pijtbec, and tell hei I am a
true Knij^ht.

Daf. ' rwou'd he in vain, by my life, yoti hive cany'd your
fclf fo like a natural Clerk — — and fo adieu, good Jmat.
(Ex. Martha «n2 Dofferwit.

Sir Sim. What, ruin'd by my own Pk)t, like an old Cava-
lier; yet like bim too, I wiIiPlotonftill,aPk)tofprevcntioni

fo I ha^ve it her. Father was here ev'n now. Tin (are

well— —— I'll go tell her Father of her, that I will i

Aid ptm^fo her Foltj, and his Trtseheryy

Revtngt is fwett ; snd mdkst amtnisfor Lttebery. 2»,

Ertler Li dia, anJ her Wtmtn Leonorc.
tfd. 1 wifli, 1 had not come hither to night, Lemere.'
Leo. Why did you. Madam ^ If the place be fo dif-agreea-
ble to you.

Lyi. We cannot help viliting the place often, where we have
loft an/ thing we vjIuc v I loll Raȣer here lall night.

Leo. You thought yoa had loft him before^ a great while
ago, and thtrefoic you ought to be the Ids troubled.

^ Z;l

Lyd. But 'twas bare, ! mUs'd him ftrfl, Vm five*

Let. Gome, Midun, let not the lofs vex you, he is not
wonh the loc^g after.

J^J. It cannot but vex nv yet, if I lofl him by my own
fault.

Imhi:. You had but too modi care to keep him.
' IjiJ. It often happen^ indeed, that too much care, is as bad
as D^ligenoe * but I had ntha be lob'd, than lolc what 1 have
caicldly.

Lton. But, I believe, you wou*d hang the Thid" if you
coud.

LjfJ. Notif I con*d have my own again.

Ztrm. I fee you waa'd he too mcidfid.

Lyd. I wi{b I were try*d.

Lem, But, Madam, it you pteaG:, we will wave the dif-
couric } for PEopte Icldom ([fuppofcj talk with pkafiire, of
thdr lol Lofles.

Lyd. Tis bettei then to nudnate in thein^ nurie, rm fure,
will not oat (^ head, nor heart.

Lun, Grief is fo hx ftom retitcving a loG, that it makes U
greater > but the way to Icflbn it, is, by a compariToQ with o-
thenloflesj hoe are L,3dies, inthcE'atk, ofyowAaquuntanoe,
Idoulrt not, can compare with you> pny Madatn, let ui walk
and find 'em out.

lyd. 'Tis the termtment you fay, makes the lot great, or
little i and then I'm iaxc, dierc is none like minci however
goon. # (Bxamt.

Enitr Vincent mid Valentine.

Vm. I am glad I have found you, for now lam ptcpar'd to
Uad you oat of the dark, and all your trouble* 1 luve good
news.'

Vol. Yon are as unmnciAil, ai the t^y'fictana who with
new Arts, keeps his mifeiable Patient akve, and in- hopes, '
when he Imows the Difeafe is incurable.

Vm. And you, like the melaiKboly Padcnt, inlflxuA ind hate
your E^yfician, bccaule he will not axnply with your Defpair :
But I'll cure your Jeakxdenow.

Vat, You know, all Difcafes'grow wor& by relapfes.'^

Vm, Tiaft me ukc more

426 Love in a Wcfid $ Or,

VaL Well, you may Ir^ yrair Experiments upon me.

Vin. JuD as 1 (hut the door upon yoa, the Woman, Roh^
gtr exp^ed, came up fhuis » but finding anodvr Woman in
difcouife whh him, wcu down again, I fuppole, as jcaloiisof
him, ae joa of Cbrifiina.

VaU How do's it appear Qie came to Rattier i

l^iik Thus, Dapptrwit amtmzhtr be ludbroagbt her,
jtAthca, in a Chair fiom St. "James's hy Ran^^a appoioh
mcnt ) and it is certain your Cbrifiina ante to you.

f^aL How can that be? &xfhc knew not I was in the Kkig-
dom.

Vin. My Man confrfTu, whtn I lent bitn to (;iK|k^ of her
Woman, about her Lady's being here in the Rirk laA Night i he
roIdhayouwciccome,3ndn»,lt IcetnSftold heiMiftiers.

Fal. That mi^t be (AfiJe.

ButdidnotC^j?M« confels, K«Higer was in ha Lodginglafi
night. '

Vift, By intf ufton, whidtflie.had moR particularly informed
tnc of, if her apprehcnflons of youi Danger hzi not pofted me
after you -, (be not having yet fas I fuppc^e) heard ofCUri-
nmii Recovery : I left her, poor Cicatur*^ at home, d'l&iajSt-
cd wi^ a Thoofand Fears for ydur Life and Lore.

VsK Her Love, I'm fuic, has coft me moie Feus, than my
Life; yet that little Danger is not paft, (as yon ilunk) till the
great one be over.'

- Pin. Open biit youi Eyes, and the Fant^idt G(Mn'$ va-
nifh'd, and all your lA feats, wiltturntoftamei forjealoufic
is the bafetl cowardize*
' P'al. 1 had rather, indeed, bluQi for my Iclf, than her.

i^in. I'm fuieyou will have mme icafon^—- But is not tbtt
Ranger then.

Rat^ci Ester/t foV^d by ChiifUna and bar f^omaii,
after tMm Lydii, a«d ber ffimmit

Val. I think it is.

Via. I fuppofe, his Fiieud D^fienvH is not {at off ; I viD
examine them both before you, and nst leave yoa fo mtidi, if
the Qiadow of doubt ; Ranger's aAonUhmeitf at my Lodjpgfr
feCs'i his mifhkc.

Val. His aftoniOimciit might proceed froin.CMf«f*'s ipiex-
pcflcd firangentrfs To him,

■ t';a. He fiiill fatisfy you now himftlfto the.ct^Blnry, I
warrant you, have but patience. ■' VtL

St. Jam^VPin'J^.' 417

1^41. Ilodnthec, indeed, he {bould&tisfy my Doubts, than
my Revenge > tbeicfoic I can have patience.

yin. But wiiUt Women aic thde that follow him i

Val. Suy a little

San, l^di», Lyii9 — : — pooc Ljdioi
Lyd. If (he be my Rlval/tis Ictnecomfott yer,(T0 her H^J.
to fee her follow him, tather than 1^ her.

Ltm. But if you follow them a little-loiigci, foe youi coni-
^wt, you Qull fee them go hand in hand.

Cbri. Sir, Sit — (li Ranger.

Xcwi. She calls to him ftheady,

£yd, But he does not hear^ you fee ; let usgoa-Uttle ncaia.
Ktm. Sure it is Rgf^gtr i

VsJ. As fuie as the Woman that follows him clofcft, is
Cbri^ina.

Vitt. Fotlhvn^ talk not d* C^/^iiw ; I hft her iuft now
at homC} funbundcd with fo many Feus and Griefs, ■(he cou'd
not ftir..

fi(/. She is coovi it may b^ to divat them here in the Parb ;
}'m furc 'tis (he.

Vin, When the Mooo, at this Inftant, Icaice affords light e-
^uu^ to difling;uHh aMan fnm aTKe,how can yoi) knowhc^
Vsl. How can you know K«)t£fr, then }
Vm. I heaid him fpcak.

Vol. Soyou mayhcrtoo; I'lKccuieyoU} ifyouwilldnw
but a Uttle ixaia i (he came, dgubtleft, to no oUtei cod but

to fpeak with him ; obfcrve . -

Cbru ^r, 1 have followed you hiihoto. ' (Jo Ranger,
but now, 1 muft defiie you to follow me out of the CompanjF^ -
^ I wouVl not be ovct'hcard, nordifluib'd<
Rm, Ha.' is not this Gbrifiia»3 Voice? it Islam fuic, I

. camut be deceiv'd no w - ^— dcai Madam .

Vm. It is (he indeed. idfmrt to VaL. t .

Vd. Itisfo? ■ . •

Cbri. Come, Sir—' — ■ {To Ranger.

Val, Nay, ru follow you too, though not invited. (^Afidt.
I/fd. I muft not, cannot flay behii^. (jlfM, [Exeutit.
Tb^ ^11 go off tif ether m a huddle^ hafiUy >
Quiftiqa, htr Wemaii, and Valpntipc, refmrH m the dtkt Side.
Qhrit Come along. Sir.

^•iS Lave Ht aWofd 3, Or,

Val. So [ muft ftkk ro hn wbm att & donai hor new Sa-
yaot has loft hei iiitbe(>owd, ftehugoMioe&ftfof him*
fbmachniyKvengc JsfwlftatitMnhkLovei nowfluUI not
only hive the defmed Lovers Revenge, of ^-^ipuatkig her
of hetnewMan* butanc^tportuntti inbli^f it am, todif-
covet her falfimefs, «ikI confront hei IrapHdcnae. iAfidt.

Cbri. Pny come-along, Sir, 1 am ia bafis.

'PW.SQ eager, indeed 1 w^ that Qoud nwf lut widn

hold the Moon, that ^ falfe Wotnan, nuy not dafinvei iiKi
befonjdohci. (..^Ue.

C&ri. Eleie no one can bear m, an4 I'm fiue^we «uinot lee
•one another..

r«/, 'Sdcath, what have I gtddttf ran my MfnpOQ? *Te
ratherattyal bfmy fetfthan her; I cannotandcvgo-it.f./^ieiJlA

Cbri. Come nearer, Sir.

^dA Hdl and Vougeance, I cannot fuffn it, I cannot.

CM. Come, come -, yet nearer, pny cotnc neamr.

J=V. It iJ impoflibfe, I cannothoU; I moR^ko9€x mf
iclf, »ther than her ii^my.

Cbri. You ue confcious, Hfeettis, oftfiswion^ ycnVove
done me, and ate aOuun'd though in the c^, {Sft^

r«/. How's this.' • ■ ■ ^Afik

Omi. I'm^gbdcoflndicfei far dt my bc^eC^ with 70*1,1!
(a (faow you your late triiflakes, and force a CcwAitttmfroai you
of ihofc unmanncrty injuries you have done ntc; ' -

VmI. What ! i think Ih^ honeft i 01 doe? Qu'loww me ?

line (Ik cannot. iA^.

Cbri. FuR, yoru intrufion, laA ni^t, fatCo my lodging,

which, I itippE^c, has begot your other gto& nlltakc^

Fal, Ko, ihctakes Hic for Kgn^tr, Ifoe again. (^A

Cbri. ¥ou arc .to know then, ( lince -needs foa tnaft> it was

not me you folbwM laft Night to lAy tod^ng itom tiie Park,

but tonne Kinfwoman of yours, irfrcms; whpfe fear of being

dilimvcr'd by ydw, prevaii'd vMh me to peifoiiatt her, while

(hewithdrcw, out Habits and our Statuies being mach alikei

which I did with as much difficulty, as (hcus'd iinponunity to

make me; and all this, my Ltdf Flifpsnt can witDefs, wjio

was then with yout Coufin.

r*il!ani gbd to hear this [^/a

Cbri. Now, whit your cbicn to ox, at Mi. Vitum^i Loag-
ing, tnaac i Ac Lettn, and Promifes, you nowoithily, or n>
roneoully byM to my Cbaigc, you mufl explain to mcaodo-

thias, ot

FmK How*s dns/ I hope I Unit dlfcorci no Guilt but my
own } (be wou*d not fpeib in threats to a Lovei — (jlfuU*

Cbri. Wat it bequife ymi found me in Mr. Virutnt's Lodg-
ings, you took a LibeiEy to ufe me, like one ol jour conmoti
Vifituits ? But know, I came no more to Mr. Vmcaitt tfa»i
you, yet} I confcft , my vllit was intended to a Man—. ■ .i.t^
A brave Man, till you made him itfe a Woman ill, worthy the
Lofe d'a Prince^ till you nude him cenftnc mine, good as
Angels, teB you made him unjaft : Why^*— in the naox of
honour, wou*d you do't ?

. KW> How happily) am 1 di&f^xMnted ! poor injut'd Chri*

jtbm (AfiJt.

Ctri* He wouM have fixigbt me out Arfi, if yon had not

made Hm fly from me, «ur mutual love, confirm'd by a ocm-

tiadf.mJMle oui hearts iorqwiaUe, till you rudely, if not m^

lidottflyttimiAinuponus, aadt»cJtctheck>re,^luppyknot4

I had loft him befocefbt a month, now ka eva, , (She wteft.

VtU My Joy, and Pity mAkes roe as muce, w my Shame >

jet I muft difcovci my felf. . {Afid*.

Cbri. Your filenoe, is a con&llkm of your guilt.

F«/. I own it. (AjUe.

. CM. ButthatwiUnotlrnrcmy tun; forlbaityoumurigo

clev your lel^ and me to bim you have injui'd in me, il be lias

not made too miichhafte from me, to be found again, you Inutt

Ifay, foihei£aManttatwiilhnrciatis£i^iion> jmd in'laiiify-

ing him, you do me. '

Vul. Thmheiifttisfy'd.

Cbri, How! isityou? then I am not latisfy'd. .. ,

Vtd. Will you be worle than your Woid /
Cbri. 1 gave it not to you.

Vtl. Come, AeasCbn^ina, the Jealous, like iheDninkvd,
has his puniQunent, with his Offence.
: 'Til »i^ Vincent.
Vin* JfWflWJw, Ht.Vthtitfni.

D,,.z.....Go63[^^J

450 I^« w o WW J Or,

VsL Vttum —

Vin. Whcfc have you brni atl thU while ^

(Valentine holds Chriftina by the banif rvbtftmi ii

fin^li Ugtt frvm biM.
th my mjur'dCi

Vkl. Here with my injafdCbrifima.

Pin. She's behind with Rather, Who i^ fb^c'd to fpeak all
the tender things himfelf^ fot mc affords him not a Word:

f^al. rab, pifli,^jiii(n«r, whoisblibdnow ^ whodttdv'd
now.

^in. You are, fat Vta bnCbrifiia* i$ with hihii come

back and &e. (Jbtygo eat at one deer, Mtdrttttm m the elben

Ranger to Lydia.

Urn. Still ttiock'd, ftiltabusM! didyoanotUdmefbltoir
yoo, where tvc might not be difiurb'd, nor om^htan) ? and
now not aUow me a Word ^ -

Viooent t» Valentine.

W«. Did you hear him ? (j4fart to Val

Vul. y«, yet, Peace C^iarttoVm.

Ran, Difowning yodr Letter, arid Me, at Mr, f^iaeen^
Lodging, declaring you caihc to meet atiother thne, and not
Oic \ with a great deal of fuch afficKiting unkindncls, ViagVit
be rearonablc enough, Ixcaaft you wou'd not intmft VttKa^
with oui Love « hut ik>w, when no body foes us^ nai hears ts,
why this unfeafonablc fhynefs ■ -i

Lyd. Itfeems, (he did not exped him thercj but had ap>
pointed to meet another ; I wi(h It were (o. (Sfidt,

Rju. I bare \iot Patience i do yoh defign thiU to revenge
my intruGon into your Lodg^g 1^ Night ? fure U you had
theii been difpleas'd with my Company, you ^nxi'd not have
invited your Iclfto'tagain by a Letter > or iathisa Puni&mcift
for brining you to a Houfei Co near yout own, where, it
ieems> you >vcrc known tooMdoconkfi, It was a Fault;
but maite me (aSa any Penance, bjt your Silence^ becaufc it
f ^the KTtain mark of a Mifhc&'s lading DtTpleafute—
r'V\ -LyJ. My*— —is not yet comt C-^Jidt,

Ran. Not yet a Word i you did tiot uSt nxCo unkindly laft
Night, when you diid me out of your Houlc, and with Indi^
nation bid me be gone h now, you bid me folbw you, and
yet will have nothing at fay to mc > and I am moct detiSvd

St. James*/-/*4»-j^. 43 1

this Day and Nif>ht, than I was hft. Nighty when, I mull
cfja^cii, I foUow'd you fbi anotha -^

LyJ. I'm glad to bcai that. X^tfiJe.

Km. Qne that wou'd have us'd me better ; whoTc Love, I

"bsTC ungratefully .abus'd Tot yours i yet frotn no other lealoni

but my natural Inconftancy ■

poor LyJU, LjJia ■ ' (A/iJe.

iyd. He muttn'd my Name fure, and wtth a Sigh. (Afide.
Rm. But as tail Night, by following (as I thought) her,
I found you: So this Night, by following you in vain, I dd
lelblve, if I can find hei again, to kc«p her for ever.

Lyd. Now I am oUlg'd, and brought into debt by his In-
conftancy ; Faithj now cannot I hold out any longer^ I muft
difcover t»y (elf. iAfide,

Ran. But, Madam, bccaufe I intend to lee yon no more,
m take my leave of you . for good and all j Gnce you wlU not

fpcak, m fry if you will fqueek

(Goes ta thmt btr daami jie fjuteiii

LjJ. Mr. isager, Mr. Rsngrr

Viti. Fye, (ye, you need not iiTiQi drifiiiut fuif, diat
loves you lb.

Rm. Is it (he .' Ljdia all thii while ? how am I goIlM, and
f'flicflrt in the Plot too ?
tyi. Now falfc X WW.

Kan. Now falle CbriJlinA too \ you thought I did n<^

know you now, becaoTe 1 plTer'd you (iidi an unafal Civiliiy.

Lyd, You knew me, I vancantyoa knew too, that I was

the Cbrifiin* you followed out of the Park lafl Niglu i that I

was the CbrifitM that writ the Letter too.

iE«h Certainly, therefore I woa'dhamtakenmyRerenge,
you fee, for yom Tricks.

Vol. Is not thu the fameWotnan that too kiefbgc in your
Hoiiie laft Night; Madam ? . (To Chiiftlna.

Chri, The very tunc.

Val. What, Mr. Rannry wc hare chop'd and chai^*d,
and hid our CbnfimJt% knig^and often, riiat atlaft> wc
have drawn each of us our own ?

RoH. Mr. Tii/eWMM in Enrg/jHu/ ! the truth onMs, you have
jugled together, and drawn widiout my Knowledge \ but
fmce Qk will luve it fo^ fhe fliall fwear roe for good and all
now. (Gus to takt htr by the Snni. Lyd.

4)3 Loi^ema Wtodi Or,

tfd, Cottic hot ikar me.
Atfff. Nay, you need not. be aJirudt I wbu'd liidfhyba,

QOwIfcnowyou.

LyJ. And yet, LtiWv,t think *ib^ but joilHce, to paidoo
dK ^ult I made hitn commit ^ ( Jptnt to Leonoic,

Rtfff. You confidef ittight; Coulln i ^ iiidced yoD ve but
iqacifal M yoin l^tf hi if.

LfJ. Yet, if I wou'd be ingorous, dioogh I made a blot,
your oycriight hts loft the Game.

Rm. But 'twas «>& WoOBns Ptay, CotiftR, aha ought
bot to be [4iy*d again, lethKtKll you. • . •
7« tbam Dupawit,

Ptf^ Who^sthcfc^ who*sthctcf
. . Rm. D0fperwit*

Shif, Hf. RMftTt I am gM I luve Met with yoti, Ibrl
have left tny Bride juft now, in thcHoufe at Mulbeny.C^eii>
tocooie aiidpick'uplbnief^ my Friends in the Parkha^ to
lii'p with us.

.. Kaih Yoor Biide! are yoa mairy'd then > Where is yttut
&idci>

O^'Hcre at li^beity-Oatden, 1 &y« where yva^ thde
tadk^ andGcntlciDen> (ball all bewckome,ifyou wiUafibid
me tlie Honour of your Cotnpanyk

R(tm. With all oiir hearts 1 but who have you maTry*cl}L«t)'?

JhtffWtfVt do yeu think I wou'd many a Wench i* I
have HOjfiay'd an Hdnfi woiA Thirty Thott^d Pounds, let
ine pciifhi

Via, An Heirers wo«h Thirty Tfaoufand Pounds'

' lUf, Mr. Viacent-, foax Servant, you here too t

Rati. Nay, wearemoteofyout Acquaintance here (I think)

go^ well filUow you, for if you have not difmik'd your Pai-

ton, perhaps we may make him mure Work. (£«»»•

T&8 Seenet ebat^et to the Dinift^ntm, is Mtdherty-

£»t<r Stf Sifflon Addlcptet, Giipci M-x. Martha, joyner,

Cro^tck Lucy. >
Sir Sim, ^isas ImldfOu, Sir, yos fee.
Gr^4 Oh gracekis fidie, many'Jla'a Wic/ anidle, t&f'
tciiiig, fhudflring, foaj-mouth'd, bengcflf Will Oh^axtal
OsldfiiauMcTctliwiomarryaWJt;;. 1 -.",.. 5V*

St. Jasae$*s-Park, 433

y^. Indccdjoui Woifl^ bid better (eenhe^fairiy buried,
fethc^Gv.

CfDf. If my DiQghter, dienj fino'd han donfe &>» I woa*d
iiot bavc giy'n ber a Groat.

Giipe. MsiqiaWit) > . ,

Siir Sim. Mh, Jtyntr, Jb tiot let me loTcthe (To Joyncr.'
Widow too> forifyoudo, (betwixt Friends) landmyfindt
Annuity are both blown up ; it will folbw my 'ESUtc (.AJUt.

Joju, 1 wariant you.

flip: '"■■'■■ -

\ Letusbultefiiiicd'Str^J»wtiitoNight> CTtfjoyncb
Ot— (Aftii.

Jojn. Yoti need not Ccai it * TiIk the Lawyas, wtule my
Clkna eiideJToiir fotJhaC nk another, lin jul^cbcat'cth

Both: . . {.AJidti

Eitttt Dapperwit, Ranger, aaJ Lydia, Vakntinci

, Chiffiina, MjYmceat. .
_tH.{l^mtfim*<mi aiiithty0Md»UhebinJ. . j
V4. What Is he here, Lucy and Mr Motha ^ {Apdti
Grift. Tell me bdw thoucam'fttooiany.a Wit/
iMarr.Pnybe notan^,Sir,andril glnyoua goodicaiba.'
Gr^. RcaTonfor manyinga Wit! .
Mm. Indeed, 1 found my lelf fix inonths gone with CIuM,'
aiM&Arniohc^ofyourentingmeiHusUnd, 6^dfelhad
n6c niany'a a Wit, Sr.
jfojrw. Then you were the Wit.
Gtife: Had yod that leafc^^ nsy; then-—-— (tl^dag

Dtf. How's that.' iAfiJ*.

Rm. Who wotfd ha^e thought, Dsfferwit^ you wou*cl
have roarry'd i Wench ?

J3«p. Well, Thirty Tboufiuid Pounds .will make lat amends,
I have Known my bcifds Wink, and fiUl tut fbt five 01 fix.

What,you art coiii^ir,t6 give tne j6y ? (To Otipc«b< ti* r^
yo^ Mis. iMy, you and you ? v^ udnd gudb aic duuUf
wdcotnc- " -.■■■■ - . ,, ,

S&tSimatt 1 made bold to invite du{e Ladies, (XrSwyasu
and Gcnflcmen, fo you muftldtow, Mr.JE<Mg<ri tlus.woctfay
^irSftiiM, db*s Aot o6ly f^e roe my Weddlag-Stf>per, buf -
AfMUlr^tooi andisasitweicmyfathef. . ..

rt SkSim:

'434 lJn/»»taWitadi Or,

, Sit.Sim~ Tbenl^mult WtcaOxand-^diertayQur Mw
Wifc'Sj bani en ksldtr > to which you arc bat as it were a Fft>
«htt-)' ibMc's fe youaiik), Sii^ — \ni ha— -^ ,

RMii Ha, ha, ha (To Vincent.

Btfp. Fools fomctimcs (ajr unhappy things, if wfi.wouy.

■nnn<i~"eni ; bat what,- Melancholy -at yout Dauglnn's

Wedding, Sii>

Grift. How dc[4or^^ "ts tny conditKXi ?

Z>4p.Nay4f you will rob me of my Wench, Sir^o ycHi blame
tncfor loU^gyou of yoir Dlu^ter ? Icanooc be without a
Woman. ,

Gmfi. MyDaitghttfi^my'KcpiKatidn^iiclna^MoecygoiK —
but'thclaftis dcaKft'toxnci yet «t oncelmay fcoievetbir,
andbc reveng'd fot the lofs of the other ; and all this by niat-
tying Lniy bete : I Hull get my Five HfHtilrcd Pounds z^iin,
and get Heirs to (xdodetey Daughter, ^nd firulliate Dgfpenvit >
beO(te<, 'tis agreed oaall hands, 'lis cheaper keeping a Wife
thana Wmdi (^Afiii.

Bap. UpJOTxcfo-iAdxaAdyi Sir, we will hare the Fid*
dies, anda Dance todiveit^Qu, .coine.
■ - • i ■ ■ . ' ■ A^Dmet. .... .

Gripe. Indeed, youlhafipHtme Ibupon-anieiry Ebj dut
I wfi/Tvetomarry (ba . i ^.

FUp: Nay, if nty IBtather oobic toti^Erying once, I inay
tooi f fwore I wou'd, when he did, little chinking— ;

Sir Sim. I take you at yoor woijd, Madain.

FUp, Well, but'ifl had thought yoa<woii'4 bare been To
quick wi^^mc^^

Grife. Where is your Patfon ?
Pi^.Wbat^yoaWDU'd not td^ngeyour. l^f upon thePadbn ^

Gripe. No, I wcHi'd have the Paifea Mvcngeme upoa yon;
heflHJu-'tliMmyine. • : , .

Dafj Vim ^^ you'SK fo fioltfk* $U i ?ut who ww'd
■ you Many f

Grijw. ThislntMcttit'tKly. , - (F^nii^ M Lacy.

Z>i^. -Ttel innocent Uady .'. ,. „ i, ■

Gi-M(.Nay, lam impatient, Mrs. ^OWOi pray (ctdi Miq
aplfhebeyctirtihcHdnfeJi ' ;, /

Dap.Wi were not Mdrry'dihcrc ; but yo^cannot be ineamcft

cfripe. You'il Hnd^rfo i Imcp you Jjavc Tob'd mcof oiy
Houfe-kceper, I multigctam»bcr.

^"■' "'-''~ ' i>gp.

So JamesVP<(r4 43 J

Vsf. Why? flic was my Wench.
* Gripe: 111 make bet honcft dieft.

Crof, Upon my icpute he never fk» ha before : But will
youi Worihip Marry my Daughta then ?

Grift. 1 piomife her, and you, before all this good Com-
pony, to Mcnrow I will make her my Wife.

Daf. How/

RtH. Our Ladies, Sir, ifuj^oTe, cxpedthe Tame PiMnife
ftotn us. _ (To Val.

y»l. They maybe fure of us without a Piomi^ i but let us
fif We an) obtain theirs, to be (ate of them.

Daf. But will joa rttttry her to Morrow ? (To Gripe.

Grife. .IvtSi-vtaifi

Daf. I am undone then, ruin'd let me periQi.

Sir Sim, No, you may hire a little Room in Covm-Gardeny ■
andfet upa Cafteehoufc ) you, and your Wife, will be futc
of the Win Cuftom.

I>ap. Abus'd by bim, I havelbuS'd !

' . 'ForOme our Foe^ we cannot ovtt-iBtt,
' By nOat'but tbte^ iturPrcjtSsare^oMM,

Vol. C(Hne, dear -Madam, What yet angry ^ jfcalot^ line
is much rtiore ^mdonable hdtite maniige ttuA after it t btit
to Monow, bythiellclp oftheTftTon, yoi/11 putaae out of all
my Fears.

Cbri. I am a6sHcl then you wou'd give me my Revenge, and
mike me Jealous of you > and I bad rather fuTpe^ your
Faith, than you (hou'd mine.

Rmu Coulin Lydia, I had rather fufpcA your Faith too,
than you (faou'd minct therefore let us e'en marry to Morrow,
diac 1 may have my turn of watching, dogging, ftanding un-
der the window, at the boor, btiiindthe han^g, or — - -*

Lyd. But if I coa'd be dcfpcratc nowj and give you up my
Libaty i cou'd you find in your heart to quit all other Engage*
ment^ and voluntarily turn your rfelf over to one Woman,
and (be a Wife'- too? cou'd you away wkh > the inliipportable
bondagcof Matrimony i*

Rtm, You talk of Matrimony as irreverently, umy Lady
FA/^Mf? the ixjnd^e of Matrimony, no —
n>e indof MirriiKe, nouf is Ltheftjf
j/bid-fivt ar6bouna'~~~to fit e4Kb i>tbfr^Ikft[r-

fe P I L O G U E

Spoken by Dappert^in

NOt^my Brisk Brother pfifie Pit, youUlSt^^
Tm come iofptak a good Word for the Plaj i
Biit(GdlUHtt')Utn,epmA if I Pa, '

For I have Wit, and fftdgiMMtt Jufi likf Tow 5
mt never Partial; Judgment Free and Boldy
For Fear or Friertdjbip never Bought or S»ld,
Nor hfeaod Nature to he Cajotdi
iSood Nature in a Critick^ were a C¥imi^
Li\e fHerty an a Judge^ dhd rindin him
GkHi^ of all thofi Fault j^ he do's forgive:
Bejfdet, if Th^f pom G allows yonlReprievey
He' Uciitjfottr Throat } foPoitfavd from Shame^
In d*om'd Lampoon, veill mtrder your good Namei

Tet in true Slight to him; and iqhis Plak
(GoodfMtb) jau /hpn'd not r4ji 'U'emjo Dm 5
But to he more his Foe^ fiem moji his Friend j
Andfo mulicionjly, thi Pldy Cummehdi
That he may be betray d to Writing on.
And Poet kt him be, to be undone:

FIN IS*

Juft PuWtfh'd.

Inengnits: Of, Zete aui Smy Kefa»ciri,.a Novel. Writb;
TAr^Con^reave, Price 1% d.

Tbc Loven Secretary ! Or, Tie Adyemurtt of ZimdMuiora, iljidj
of Quality, written with ber own Hand to her Friend in the
Country ; giviog an Account of Iter Jntrigtiet and Adventures
from 1 ? Years to 50, in 24 Letters,eorrefted by Mr. 7io.'Srn^
Price 2 J.
Printed forJ^cit. WeEinstm, attM) J>olttitiiai'0*i'»iaSt,9mBi'S

aunb-Tard,

Where is Sold all Sorts of Phyai v.

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