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B2.
THE WRITINGS
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
BY
ALBERT HENRY SMYTH
VOLUME II
1722-1750
Wefo fforfe
THE MACMILLAN COMPANY
LONDON : MACMILLAN & CO., LTD.
1905
All rights reserved
COPYRIGHT, 1905,
BY THE MACMILLAN COMPANY.
Set up and electrotyped. Published November, 1905.
NortoocU
J. 8. Gushing & Co. Berwick & Smith Co.
Norwood, Mass., U.S.A.
PREFATORY NOTE
EVERYTHING of literary interest or historic value written
by Franklin between 1722 and 1750 is included in this
volume. I have omitted a few essays which have appeared
in previous editions ; some because they were not written
by Franklin, and others because they are quite worthless.
Thus the two papers "On Government" (Bigelow, I: 425)
were written by George Webbe, who acknowledged the
authorship in the columns of The Pennsylvania Gazette.
The essays on "Public Men," "Self Denial," "The Use-
fulness of Mathematics," "True Happiness," "On Dis-
coveries," "The Waste of Life," "The Causes of Earth-
quakes," "The Drinker's Dictionary," "A Case of
Casuistry," have been ascribed to Franklin on insufficient
evidence, and are at any rate dull and trivial.
Their place has been taken in this volume by certain
highly characteristic contributions made by Franklin to
The Pennsylvania Gazette "A Witch Trial at Mount
Holly," "An Apology for Printers," "How to protect Towns
from Fire," "Shavers and Trimmers," and "A Meditation
on a Quart Mugg." I have reprinted "The Dialogues on
Virtue and Pleasure" because Franklin refers to them with
satisfaction in his Autobiography. I have omitted his
letter to Cadwallader Golden containing his conjecture as
to the cause why ships hi crossing the Atlantic have longer
vi PREFATORY NOTE
Passages in sailing westward than in sailing eastward,
because Franklin desired that the letter should not be re-
printed. He discovered that his theory, which related to
the diurnal motion of the earth, was quite untenable, and
he so informed Jonathan Williams hi a letter dated January
19, 1786.
The Prefaces to "Poor Richard's Almanac" are here for
the first time reprinted in any collection of Franklin's works.
All are included in this volume except those that relate to
the making of wine, the appearance of the planets, and
Middleton's account of life in the region of Hudson's Bay.
I have omitted the "Dissertation on Liberty and Neces-
sity" (1726). The work has no value, and it would be an
injury and an offence to the memory of Franklin to republish
it. "My printing this pamphlet," he declared, "was another
erratum" Writing to his friend Vaughan he said, "There
were only a hundred copies printed of which I gave a few to
friends, and afterwards disliking the piece, as conceiving
it might have an ill tendency, I burnt the rest except one
copy."
The "Dogood Papers" are now for the first time reprinted
since the youthful author consigned them to The New Eng-
land Courant.
A. H. S.
CONTENTS
VOLUME II
NO. PAGE
3. The Dogood Papers. 1722. .-. . . . . . . 2
4. Editorial Preface to The New England Courant. February
n, 1723 . . .v . . . . . .49
5. To Sir Hans Sloane. June 2, 1725 52
6. Journal of a Voyage from London to Philadelphia. July 22-
October 11, 1726 53
7. To Miss Jane Franklin. January 6, 1727 .... 87
8. Rules for a Club established for Mutual Improvement. 1728 88
9. Articles of Belief and Acts of Religion. 1728 . ... 91
10. The Busy-body. February 4-March 27, 1729 . ... 100
11. A Modest Enquiry into the Nature and Necessity of a Paper
Currency. April 3, 1729 133
12. Preface to The Pennsylvania Gazette. October 2, 1729 . 155
13. Dialogues concerning Virtue and Pleasure. June 23, and
July 9, 1730 157
14. A Witch Trial at Mount Holly. October 22, 1730 . . 170
15. An Apology for Printers. June 10, 1731 . . . .172
16. To Mrs. Jane Mecom. June 19, 1731 180
17. Letter from Anthony Afterwit. July 10, 1732 . . . 182
1 8. Letter from Celia Single. July 24, 1732 . . . . 186
19. Letter from Alice Addertongue. September 12, 1732 . . 189
20. Preface to Poor Richard, 1733. [October, 1732] . . . 196
21. A Meditation on a Quart Mugg. July 19, 1733 . . . 198
22. Preface to Poor Richard, 1 734. October 30, 1733 . . 200
23. Preface to Poor Richard, 1735. October 30, 1734 . . 203
24. Protection of Towns from Fire. February 4, 1 735 . . 205
25. Preface to Poor Richard, 1736. [October, 1735] . . . 208
26. Preface to Poor Richard, 1737. [October, 1736] . . . 210
27. Hints for those that would be Rich. [October, 1736] . . 211
28. Preface to Poor Richard, 1738. [October, 1737] . . . 213
29. To Josiah Franklin. April 13, 1738 214
30. Preface to Poor Richard, 1739. [October, 1738] . . 216
31. A True Prognostication, for 1739. [October, 1738] . . 218
viii CONTENTS
NO. PAGE
32. Preface to Poor Richard, 1740. October 7, 1739 .221
33. Preface to Poor Richard, 1742. [October, 1741] . . . 224
34. Rules of Health and Long Life. [October, 1741] . . 227
35. A Proposal for promoting Useful Knowledge among the
British Plantations in America. May 14, 1743 . . 228
36. Shavers and Trimmers. June 23, and June 30, 1743 . . 232
37. To William Strahan. July 10, 1743 237
38. To Mrs. Jane Mecom. July 28, 1743 237
39. Preface to Poor Richard, 1744. [October, 1743] . . . 239
40. To Cad wallader Golden. November 4, 1743 . . . 240
41. To William Strahan. February 12, 1744 .... 241
42. Preface to Logan's Translation of "Cato Major." February
29, 1744 244
43. An Account of the New-invented Pennsylvanian Fire-places.
November, 1744 246
44. To Cadwallader Golden. April 5, 1744 .... 276
45. To William Strahan. July 4, 1744 278
46. To William Strahan. July 31, 1744 280
47. To Josiah and Abiah Franklin. September 6, 1744 . .281
48. To John Franklin. March 10, 1745 283
49. To Cadwallader Golden. August 15, 1745 .... 284
50. To James Read. August 17, 1745 289
51. To Cadwallader Golden. November 28, 1745 . . . 290
52. Preface to Poor Richard, 1746. [November, 1745] . . 294
53. To William Strahan. December 1 1, 1745 .... 296
54. To William Strahan. December 22, 1745 .... 296
55. To William Strahan. May 22, 1746 297
56. To William Strahan. September 25, 1746 .... 297
57. Preface to Poor Richard, 1747. [October, 1746] . * '. . 299
58. To William Strahan. January 4, 1747 301
59. To Peter Collinson. March 28, 1747 302
60. To Peter Collinson. July n, 1747 302
61. To Jared Eliot. July 1 6, 1747 310
62. To William Strahan. July 29, 1747 315
63. To John Franklin. August 6, 1747 316
64. To Cadwallader Golden. , 1747 . . . .317
65. To Cadwallader Golden. August 6, 1747 .... 322
66. To Peter Collinson. August 14, 1747 324
67. To Peter Collinson. September i, 1747 .... 324
68. To Cadwallader Golden. October i, 1747 .... 333
CONTENTS ix
NO. PAGE
69. Preface to Poor Richard Improved, 1748. [October, 1747] 334
70. Plain Truth : or, Serious Considerations on the Present State
of the City of Philadelphia and Province of Pennsylvania.
By a Tradesman of Philadelphia. November 14, 1747 . 336
71. To Cad wallader Golden. November 27, 1747 . . . 354
72. To William Strahan. November 28, 1747 . . . -355
73. To James Logan. December 4, 1747 356
74. To Cadwallader Colden. January 27, 1748 . . . 357
75. To James Logan. January 27, 1748 359
76. To James Logan. January 30, 1748 360
77. To James Logan. April 6, 1748 ..... 361
78. To Cadwallader Colden. September 29, 1748 . ... 362
79. To Peter Collinson. October 18, 1748 . . . . 364
80. To William Strahan. October 19, 1748 .... 365
81. To James Logan. October 30, 1748 367
82. To James Read. December 5, 1748 369
83. Advice to a Young Tradesman. 1748 .... 370
84. To William Strahan. April 29, 1749 372
85. To William Strahan. July 3, 1749 376
86. To George Whitefield. July 6, 1749 377
87. To Mrs. Abiah Franklin. September 7, 1749 . . . 378
88. To Mrs. Abiah Franklin. October 16, 1749 . . . 379
89. To William Strahan. October 23, 1749 .... 380
90. Preface to Poor Richard Improved, 1750. [October, 1749] 381
91. To Jared Eliot. , 1749 383
92. Proposals relating to the Education of Youth in Pensil-
vania. , 1749 386
93. To Peter Collinson. April 29, 1749 396
94. To Peter Collinson. 1749 411
95. To Peter Collinson. July27, 1750 423
96. To Peter Collinson. July 29, 1750 426
97. Opinions and Conjectures, concerning the Properties and
Effects of the Electrical Matter. 1750 .... 427
98. Additional Experiments. 1750 ....... 454
99. To Peter Collinson. 1750 (?) . . . . . 456
ico. To Peter Collinson. 1750 460
101. Appendix: The Speech of Polly Baker .... 463
102. A Conjecture as to the Cause of the Heat of the Blood in
Health, and of the Cold and Hot Fits of some Fevers. . 468
TABLE OF ABBREVIATIONS
A. P. S American Philosophical Society.
B. M British Museum.
B. N Bibliotheque Nationale.
D. S. W Department of State, Washington.
H Harvard University.
L. C Library of Congress.
L. L Lenox Library.
Lans Lansdowne House.
M.H.S Massachusetts Historical Society.
P. C Private Collection.
P. H. S Pennsylvania Historical Society.
P. R. O Public Record Office.
P. R. O. A. W. I Public Record Office : America and
West Indies.
P. A. E. E. U Paris Departement des Affaires
Etrangeres, Etats-Unis.
U. of P University of Pennsylvania.
Y. . . . ^ Yale University.
B Bigelow.
F Benjamin Franklin.
S Sparks.
V Benjamin Vaughan.
W. T. F . . W. T. Franklin.
Franklin's Mss. exist in several forms. He made a rough draft of
every letter that he wrote ; he then made a clean copy to send away, and
often retained a letter-press copy. To indicate the state of the docu-
ment, the following abbreviations are used : d. = draft, trans. = transcript^
1. p. = letter-press copy.
THE DOGOOD PAPERS
FRANKLIN has told in his Autobiography how he wrote
an anonymous paper when he was but sixteen years of age
and put it in at night under the door of his brother's print-
ing house. The following morning it was commented on
in his hearing, and he had "the exquisite pleasure" of find-
ing that it met with the approbation of the contributors to
Couranto, as the New England Courant was then called.
In all probability this article was the first of the "Dogood
Papers," and March, 1722 is therefore the time of Franklin's
first adventure in literature. Editorial encouragement was
promptly given to the unknown author. In the same issue
of the newspaper that contained his communication appeared
the notice, "As the Favour of Mrs. Dogood's Correspond-
ence is acknowledged by the Publisher of this Paper, lest
any of her Letters should miscarry, he desires they may be
deliver'd at his Printing- House, or at the Blue Ball in Union
street, and no questions shall be ask'd of the Bearer." Thus
encouraged Franklin continued to write the letters of Mrs.
Silence Dogood, at fortnightly intervals, until the series
ended with the fourteenth paper, published October 8, 1722.
They were first accredited to Franklin by J. T. Buck-
ingham in 1850 ("Specimens of Newspaper Literature,"
I, 62), and further ascribed to him by James Parton in his
VOL. II B I
2 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
"Life and Times of Franklin" (1864, Vol. I, p. 84). In
the first sketch, or draft scheme, of his Autobiography
Franklin claims "Mrs. Dogood's letters" as his own. They
have never appeared in any collection of his writings. They
are now reprinted from the file of the New England Cour-
ant in the library of the Massachusetts Historical Society.
The character of the young Franklin is interestingly re-
vealed in these papers; and it will be seen that his sedulous
attention to the language of the Spectator had already formed
his literary style, and stamped it with those qualities that
have given him a high and enduring place among Ameri-
can writers.
3. THE DOGOOD PAPERS
The No 35
New-England Courant.
From Monday March 26. to Monday April 2. 1722
To the Author of the New- England Courant.
SIR,
It may not be improper in the firft Place to inform your
Readers, that I intend once a Fortnight to prefent them, by
the Help of this Paper, with a fhort Epiftle, which I prefume
will add fomewhat to their Entertainment.
And fince it is obferved, that the Generality of People,
now a days, are unwilling either to commend or difpraife
what they read, until they are in fome meafure informed
who or what the Author of it is, whether he be poor or rich,
old or young, a S collar or a Leather Apron Man, &c. and
1722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 3
give their Opinion of the Performance, according to the
Knowledge which they have of the Author's Circumstances,
it may not be amifs to begin with a fhort Account of my paft
Life and prefent Condition, that the Reader may not be at
a Lofs to judge whether or no my Lucubrations are worth
his reading.
At the time of my Birth, my Parents were on Ship-board
in their Way from London to N. England. My Entrance
into this troublefome World was attended with the Death
of my Father, a Misfortune, which tho' I was not then capa-
ble of knowing, I fhall never be able to forget; for as he,
poor Man, ftood upon the Deck rejoycing at my Birth, a
mercilefs Wave entred the Ship, and in one Moment carry'd
him beyond Reprieve. Thus was the firji Day which I faw,
the lajt that was feen by my Father; and thus was my dif-
confolate Mother at once made both a Parent and a Widow.
When we arrived at Boston (which was not long after) I
was put to Nurfe in a Country Place, at a fmall Diftance
from the Town, where I went to School, and paft my Infancy
and Childhood in Vanity and Idlenefs, until I was bound
out Apprentice, that I might no longer be a Charge to my
Indigent Mother, who was put to hard Shifts for a Living.
My Mafter was a Country Minifter, a pious good-natur'd
young Man, & a Batchelor: He labour'd with all his
Might to inftil vertuous and godly Principles into my tender
Soul, well knowing that it was the moft fuitable Time to
make deep and lafting Impreffions on the Mind, while it
was yet untainted with Vice, free and unbiafs'd. He en-
deavour'd that I might be inftructed in all that Knowledge
and Learning which is neceffary for our Sex, and deny'd
me no Accomplifhment that could poffibly be attained in a
4 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
Country Place, fuch as all Sorts of Needle- Work, Writing,
Arithmetick, &c. and obferving that I took a more than or-
dinary Delight in reading ingenious Books, he gave me the
free Ufe of his Library, which tho* it was but fmall, yet it
was well chofe, to inform the Underftanding rightly and
enable the Mind to frame great and noble Ideas.
Before I had liv'd quite two Years with this Reverend
Gentleman, my indulgent Mother departed this Life, leaving
me as it were by my felf, having no Relation on Earth
within my Knowledge.
I will not abufe your Patience with a tedious Recital of
all the frivolous Accidents of my Life, that happened from
this Time until I arrived to Years of Dif cretion, only inform
you that I liv'd a chearful Country Life, fpending my leifure
Time either in fome innocent Diverfion with the neighbour-
ing Females, or in fome fhady Retirement, with the beft of
Company, Books. Thus I paft away the Time with a Mix-
ture of Profit and Pleafure, having no Affliction but what
was imaginary, and created in my own Fancy; as nothing
is more common with us Women, than to be grieving for
nothing, when we have nothing elfe to grieve for.
As I would not engrofs too much of your Paper at once, I
will defer the Remainder of my Story until my next Letter ;
in the mean time defiling your Readers to exercife their
Patience, and bear with my Humours now and then, becaufe
I fhall trouble them but feldom. I am not infensible of
the Impofsibility of pleafing all, but I would not willingly
difpleafe any; and for thofe who will take Offence where
none is intended, they are beneath the Notice of
Your Humble Servant,
SILINC DOGOOD
1722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 5
t5P As the Favour of Mrs. Do good's Correjpondence is
acknowledged by the Publijher of this Paper, left any of her
Letters jhould mifcarry, he dejires they may for the future be
delivered at his Printing-Houfe, or at the Blue Ball in Union-
Street, and no Queftions jhall be ask'd of the Bearer.
The (pencilled above) 39
New England Courant. [No 37]
From Monday April 9. to Monday April 16. 1722
To the Author of the New-England Courant
Sir No 2
Histories of Lives are feldom entertaining, unlefs they con-
tain fomething either admirable or exemplar: And fince
there is little or nothing of this Nature in my own Adven-
tures, I will not tire your Readers with tedious Particulars
of no Confequence, but will briefly, and in as few Words as
pofsible relate, the moft material Occurrences of my Life,
and according to my Promife, confine all to this Letter.
MY Reverend Mafter who had hitherto remained a
Batchelor, (after much Meditation on the Eighteenth verfe
of the fecond Chapter of Genefis,) took up a Refolution to
marry; and having made feveral unfuccefsful fruitlefs At-
tempts on the more topping Sort of our Sex, and being tir'd
with making troublefome Journeys and Vifits to no Purpofe,
he began unexpectedly to caft a loving Eye upon Me, whom
he had brought up cleverly to his Hand.
THERE is certainly fcarce any Part of a Man's Life in
which he appears more filly and ridiculous, than when he
makes his first Onfet in Courtship. The aukward Manner
6 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
in which my Mafter firft difcover'd his Intentions, made me,
in fpite of my Reverence to his Perfon, burst out into an un-
mannerly Laughter: However, having ask'd his Pardon,
and with much ado compos'd my Countenance, I promis'd
him I would take his Propofal into ferious Confideration,
and fpeedily give him an Anfwer.
AS he had been a great Benefactor (and in a Manner a
Father to me) I could not well deny his Requeft, when I
once perceived he was in earneft. Whether it was Love, or
Gratitude, or Pride, or all Three that made me content, I
know not ; but it is certain, he found it no hard Matter, by
the Help of his Rhetorick to conquer my Heart, and per-
fwade me to marry him.
THIS unexpected Match was very aftonifhing to all the
Country round about and ferved to furnish them with Dif-
courfe for a long Time after ; f ome approving it, others dif-
liking it, as they were led by their various Fancies and
Inclinations.
WE lived happily together in the Heighth of conjugal Love
and mutual Endearments, for near Seven Years in which
Time we added Two likely Girls and a Boy to the Family
of the Do goods: But alas! When my Sun was in its me-
ridian Altitude, inexorable unrelenting Death, as if he had
envy'd my Happinefs and Tranquility, and refolv'd to make
me entirely miferable by the Lofs of fo good an Hufband,
haftened his Flight to the Heavenly World, by a fudden un-
expected Departure from this.
I HAVE now remained in a State of Widowhood for
feveral Years, but it is a State I never much admir'd, and
I am apt to fancy that I could be eafily perfwaded to many
again, provided I was fure of a good-humour'd, fober, agree-
1 722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 7
able Companion : But one, even with thefe few good Quali-
ties, being hard to find, I have lately relinquifhed all
Thoughts of that Nature.
AT present I pafs away my leifure Hours in Converfation,
either with my honeft Neighbour Rujticus and his Family,
or with the ingenious Minifter of our Town, who now lodges
at my Houfe, and by whofe Affiftance I intend now and
then to beautify my Writings with a Sentence or two in the
learned Languages, which will not only be fafhionable, and
pleafing to thofe who do not underftand it, but will likewife
be very ornamental.
I SHALL conclude this with my own Character, which
(one would think) I fhould be beft able to give. Know
then, That I am an Enemy to Vice, and a Friend to Vertue.
I am one of an extenfive Charity, and a great Forgiver of
private Injuries : A hearty Lover of the Clergy and all good
Men, and a mortal Enemy to arbitrary Government & un-
limited Power. I am naturally very jealous for the Rights
and Liberties of my Country: & the leaft appearance of
an Incroachment on thofe invaluable Priviledges, is apt to
make my Blood boil exceedingly. I have likewife a natural
Inclination to obferve and reprove the Faults of others, at
which I have an excellent Faculty. I fpeak this by Way of
Warning to all fuch whofe offences fhall come under my
Cognizance, for I never intend to wrap my Talent in a Nap-
kin. To be brief; I am courteous and affable, good-hu-
mour'd (unlefs I am firft provok'd,) and handfome, and
fometimes witty, but always,
SIR, Your Friend, and
Humble Servant,
SILENCE DOGOOD.
8 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
No 39
From Monday April 23. to Monday April 30. 1722
To the Author of the New- England Courant.
Sir, No 3
It is undoubtedly the Duty of all Perfons to ferve the
Country they live in, according to their Abilities; yet I fin-
cerely acknowledge, that I have hitherto been very deficient
in this Particular ; whether it was for want of Will or Oppor-
tunity, I will not at prefent ftand to determine: Let it fuf-
fice, that I now take up a Refolution, to do for the future all
that lies in my Way for the Service of my Countrymen.
I HAVE from my Youth been indefatigably ftudious to
gain and treafure up in my Mind all ufeful and defireable
Knowledge, efpecially fuch as tends to improve the Mind,
and enlarge the Underf tanding : And as I have found it very
beneficial to me, I am not without Hopes, that communicat-
ing my fmall Stock in this Manner, by Peace-meal to the
Publick, may be at leaft in fome Meafure ufeful.
I AM very fenfible that it is impofsible for me, or indeed
any one Writer to pleafe all Readers at once. Various Per-
fons have different Sentiments; and that which is pleafant
and delightful to one, gives another a Difgust. He that
would (in this Way of Writing) pleafe all, is under a Neceffity
to make his Themes almoft as numerous as his Letters. He
muft one while be merry and diverting, then more folid and
ferious ; one while sharp and fatyrical, then (to mollify that)
be fober and religious ; at one Time let the Subject be Poli-
ticks, then let the next Theme be Love: Thus will every
one, one Time or other find fome thing agreeable to his own
Fancy, and in his Turn be delighted.
1722] THE DO GOOD PAPERS 9
ACCORDING to this Method I intend to proceed, be-
stowing now and then a few gentle Reproofs on thofe who
deferve them, not forgetting at the fame time to applaud
thofe whofe Actions merit Commendation. And here I
muft not forget to invite the ingenious Part of your Readers,
particularly thofe of my own Sex to enter into a Correfpond-
ence with me, affuring them, that their Condefcenfion in
this Particular fhall be received as a Favour, and accordingly
acknowledged.
I THINK I have now finifh'd the Foundation, and I intend
in my next to begin to raife the Building. Having nothing
more to write at prefent, I must make the ufual excufe in
fuch Cafes, of being in hajle, affuring you that I fpeak from
my Heart when I call my felf, The most humble and obedient
of all the Servants your Merits have acquir'd,
SILENCE DOGOOD
Thofe who incline to favour Mrs. Dogood with their Cor-
respondence, are defir'd to jend their Letters (directed to her)
to the Publishers of this Paper.
The
New- England Courant. [No. 41
From Monday May 7. to Monday May 14. 1722.
Anfum etiam nunc vel Greed loqui vel Latinfc docendus ?
CICERO.
To the Author of the New-England Courant.
SIR, No. IV
DISCOURSING the other Day at Dinner with my
Reverend Boarder, formerly mention'd, (whom for Diftinction
10 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
fake we will call by the Name of Clericus,) concerning the
Education of Children, I ask'd his Advice about my young
Son William, whether or no I had beft beftow upon him
Academical Learning, or (as our Phrafe is) bring him up at
our College: He perf waded me to do it by all Means, ufing
many weighty Arguments with me, and anfwering all the
Objections that I could form againft it; telling me withal,
that he did not doubt but that the Lad would take his Learn-
ing very well, and not idle away his Time as too many there
now-a-days do. These words of Clericus gave me a Curi-
ofity to inquire a little more ftrictly into the prefent Circum-
ftances of that famous Seminary of Learning; but the
Information which he gave me, was neither pleafant, nor
fuch as I expected.
AS foon as Dinner was over, I took a folitary Walk into
my Orchard, ftill ruminating on Clericus's Difcourfe with
much Confideration, until I came to my ufual Place of
Retirement under the Great Apple-Tree; where having
feated my felf, and carelefly laid my Head on a verdant
Bank, I fell by Degrees into a foft and undifturbed Slumber.
My waking Thoughts remained with me in my Sleep, and
before I awak'd again, I dreamt the following DREAM.
I FANCY' D I was travelling over pleafant and delightful
Fields and Meadows, and thro' many fmall Country Towns
and Villages; and as I pafs'd along, all Places refounded
with the Fame of the Temple of LEARNING: Every
Peafant, who had wherewithal, was preparing to fend one of
his Children at leaf t to this famous Place ; and in this Cafe
moft of them confulted their own Purfes instead of their
Childrens Capacities: So that I obferved, a great many,
yea, the moft part of thofe who were travelling thither,
1722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS n
were little better than Dunces and Blockheads. Alas!
Alas!
AT length I entred upon a fpacious Plain, in the Midft of
which was erected a large and ftately Edifice: It was to
this that a great Company of Youths from all Parts of the
Country were going; fo ftepping in among the Crowd, I
paffed on with them, and prefently arrived at the Gate.
THE Paffage was Kept by two fturdy Porters named
Riches and Poverty, and the latter obftinately refufed to give
Entrance to any who had not firft gain'd the Favour of the
former ; fo that I obferved, many who came even to the very
Gate, were obliged to travel back again as ignorant as they
came, for want of this neceffary Qualification. However,
as a Spectator I gain'd Admittance, and with the reft entred
directly into the Temple.
IN the Middle of the great Hall ftood a ftately and mag-
nificent Throne, which was afcended to by two high and
difficult Steps. On the Top of it fat LEARNING in awful
State; fhe was apparelled wholly in Black, and furrounded
almoft on every Side with innumerable Volumes in all
Languages. She feem'd very bufily employed in writing
fomething on half a Sheet of Paper, and upon Enquiry, I
underftood fhe was preparing a Paper, call'd, The New-
England Couranl. On her Right Hand fat Englijh, with a
pleafant fmiling Countenance, and handfomely attir'd; and
on her left were feated feveral Antique Figures with their
Faces vail'd. I was confiderably puzzl'd to guefs who they
were, until one informed me, (who ftood befide me,) that
thofe Figures on her left Hand were Latin, Greek, Hebrew,
&c. and that they were very much referv'd, and feldom or
never unvail'd their Faces here, and then to few or none,
12 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
tho' moft of thofe who have in this Place acquir'd fo much
Learning as to distinguifh them from Englifh, pretended to
an intimate Acquaintance with them. I then enquir'd of
him, what could be the Reafon why they continued vail'd,
in this Place efpecially: He pointed to the Foot of the
Throne, where I faw Idlenefs, attended with Ignorance, and
these (he informed me) were they, who firft vail'd them, and
ftill kept them fo.
NOW I obferved, that the whole Tribe who entred into
the Temple with me, began to climb the Throne; but the
Work proving troublefome and difficult to moft of them, they
withdrew their Hands from the Plow, and contented them-
felves to fit at the Foot, with Madam Idlenejs and her Maid
Ignorance, until those who were affifted by Diligence and a
docible Temper, had well nigh got up the firft Step: But
the Time drawing nigh in which they could no way avoid
af cending, they were fain to crave the Affistance of thofe who
had got up before them, and who, for the Reward perhaps
of a Pint of Milk, or a Piece of Plumb-Cake, lent the Lubbers
a helping Hand, and fat them in the Eye of the World, upon
a Level with themfelves.
THE other Step being in the fame Manner afcended, and
the ufual Ceremonies at an End, every Beetle-Scull feem'd
well fatisfy'd with his own Portion of Learning, tho' perhaps
he was e'en juft as ignorant as ever. And now the Time of
their Departure being come, they march'd out of Doors to
make Room for another Company, who waited for Entrance :
And I, having feen all that was to be feen, quitted the Hall
likewife, and went to make my Obfervations on thofe who
were juft gone out before me.
SOME I perceiv'd took to Merchandizing, others to
1722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 13
Travelling, fome to one Thing, fome to another, and fome
to Nothing ; and many of them from henceforth, for want of
Patrimony, liv'd as poor as church Mice, being unable to dig,
and afham'd to beg, and to live by their Wits it was impoffible.
But the moft Part of the Crowd went along a large beaten
Path, which led to a Temple at the further End of the Plain,
call'd, The Temple of Theology. The Bufinefs of thofe
who were employ'd in this Temple being laborious and pain-
ful, I wonder'd exceedingly to fee fo many go towards it;
but while I was pondering this Matter in my Mind, I fpy'd
Pecunia behind a Curtain, beckoning to them with her Hand,
which Sight immediately fatisfy'd me for whofe Sake it was,
that a great Part of them (I will not fay all) travePd that Road.
In this Temple I faw nothing worth mentioning, except the
ambitious and fraudulent Contrivances of Plagius, who
(notwithftanding he had been feverely reprehended for fuch
Practices before) was diligently tranfcribing fome eloquent
Paragraphs out of Tillotjon's Works, &c. to embellish his
own.
NOW I bethought my felf in my Sleep, that it was Tune to
be at Home, and as I fancy'd I was travelling back thither, I
reflected in my Mind on the extream Folly of those Parents,
who, blind to their Childrens Dulnefs, and infenfible of the
Solidity of their Skulls, because they think their Purfes can
afford it, will needs fend them to the Temple of Learning,
where, for want of a fuitable Genius, they learn little more
than how to carry themfelves handfomely, and enter a Room
genteely, (which might as well be acquir'd at a Dancing-
School,) and from whence they return, after Abundance of
Trouble and Charge, as great Blockheads as ever, only more
proud and self-conceited.
14 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
WHILE I was in the midft of thefe unpleafant Reflections,
Clericus (who with a Book in his Hand was walking under the
Trees) accidentally awak'd me ; to him I related my Dream
with all its Particulars, and he, without much Study, pref-
ently interpreted it, afsuring me, That it was a lively Repre-
jentation of HARVARD COLLEGE, Etcetera.
/ remain, Sir,
Your Humble Servant,
SILENCE DOGOOD.
The
New- England Courant. [N 43
From Monday May 21. to Monday May 28. 1722.
Mulier Muliere magis congruet. TER.
To the Author of the New-England Courant.
SIR, No V.
I SHALL here prefent your Readers with a Letter from
one, who informs me that I have begun at the wrong End of
my Bufinefs, and that I ought to begin at Home, and cenfure
the Vices and Follies of my own Sex, before I venture to
meddle with your's : Neverthelefs, I am refolved to dedicate
this Speculation to the Fair Tribe, and endeavour to fhow,
that Mr. Ephraim charges Women with being particularly
guilty of Pride, Idlenefs, &c. wrongfully, inafmuch as the
Men have not only as great a Share in thofe Vices as the
Women, but are likewife in a great Meafure the Caufe of
that which the Women are guilty of. I think it will be beft
to produce my Antagonift, before I encounter him.
1722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 15
To Mrs. DOGOOD.
Madam,
'My Defign in troubling you with this Letter is, to defire you
'would begin with your own Sex firft: Let the firft Volley
'of your Refentments be directed against Female Vice; let
'Female Idlenefs, Ignorance and Folly, (which are Vices
'more peculiar to your Sex than to our's,) be the Subject of
'your Satyrs, but more efpecially Female Pride, which I
' think is intolerable. Here is a large Field that wants Cul-
'tivation, and which I believe you are able (if willing) to
'improve with Advantage; and when you have once re-
' formed the Women, you will find it a much eaf ier Task to
' reform the Men, becaufe Women are the prime Cauf es of a
'great many Male Enormities. This is all at prefent from
Your Friendly Welluvijher,
Ephraim Cenforious.
AFTER Thanks to my Correfpondent for his Kindnefs
in cutting out Work for me, I muft affure him, that I find it
a very difficult Matter to reprove Women feparate from the
Men ; for what Vice is there in which the Men have not as
great a Share as the Women ? and in f ome have they not a far
greater, as in Drunkennefs, Swearing, &c. ? And if they
have, then it follows, that when a Vice is to be reproved,
Men, who are moft culpable, deferve the moft Reprehenfion,
and certainly therefore, ought to have it. But we will wave
this point at present, and proceed to a particular Confidera-
tion of what my Correfpondent calls Female Vice.
AS for Idlenefs, if I fhould Quare, Where are the greateft
Number of its Votaries to be found, with us or the Men ? it
might I believe be eafily and truly anfwer'd, With the latter.
1 6 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
For, notwithftanding the Men are commonly complaining
how hard they are forc'd to labour, only to maintain their
Wives in Pomp and Idlenefs, yet if you go among the Women,
you will learn, that they have always more Work upon their
Hands than they are able to do, and that a Woman's Work
is never done, &c. But however, Suppose we fhould grant
for once, that we are generally more idle than the Men, (with-
out making any Allowance for the Weaknejs of the Sex,) I
def ire to know whole Fault it is ? Are not the Men to blame
for their Folly in maintaining us in Idlenefs ? Who is there
that can be handfomely fupported in Affluence, Eafe and
Pleafure by another, that will chufe rather to earn his Bread
by the Sweat of his own Brows? And if a Man will be fo
fond and fo foolifh, as to labour hard himfelf for a Liveli-
hood, and fuffer his Wife in the mean Time to fit in Eafe and
Idlenefs, let him not blame her if fhe does fo, for it is in a
great Measure his own Fault.
And now for the Ignorance and Folly which he reproaches
us with, let us fee (if we are Fools and Ignoramus's) whofe
is the Fault, the Men's or our's. An ingenious Writer,
having this Subject in Hand, has the following Words,
wherein he lays the Fault wholly on the Men, for not allowing
Women the Advantages of Education.
"I have (fays he) often thought of it as one of the moft
"barbarous Customs in the World, confidering us as a civil-
"iz'd and Chriftian Country, that we deny the Advantages
"of Learning to Women. We reproach the Sex every Day
"with Folly and Impertinence, while I am confident, had
"they the Advantages of Education equal to us, they would
"be guilty of lefs than our f elves. One would wonder
"indeed how it fhould happen that Women are convertible
1722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 17
"at all, fince they are only beholding to natural Parts for all
"their Knowledge. Their Youth is fpent to teach them to
"ftitch and fow, or make Baubles. They are taught to read
"indeed, and perhaps to write their Names, or fo; and that
"is the Heigth of a Womans Education. And I would but
"ask any who flight the Sex for their Underftanding, What
"is a Man (a Gentleman, I mean) good for that is taught no
"more? If Knowledge and Understanding had been ufelefs
"Additions to the Sex, God Almighty would never have
"given them Capacities, for he made nothing Needlefs.
"What has the Woman done to forfeit the Priviledge of being
"taught? Does fhe plague us with her Pride and Imper-
"tinence? Why did we not let her learn, that she might
"have had more Wit? Shall we upraid Women with Folly,
"when 'tis only the Error of this inhumane Cuftom that
"hindred them being made wiser."
SO much for Female Ignorance and Folly; and now let
us a little confider the Pride which my Correfpondent thinks
is intolerable. By this Exprefsion of his, one would think
he is fome dejected Swain, tyranniz'd over by fome cruel
haughty Nymph, who (perhaps he thinks) has no more
Reafon to be proud than himfelf. Alas-a-day! What fhall
we fay in this Cafe ! Why truly, if Women are proud, it is
certainly owing to the Men ftill; for if they will be fuch
Simpletons as to humble themfelves at their Feet, and fill
their credulous Ears with extravagant Praifes of their Wit,
Beauty, and other Accomplifhments (perhaps where there
are none too,) and when Women are by this Means per-
fwaded that they are Something more than humane, what
Wonder is it, if they carry themfelves haughtily, and live
extravagantly. Notwithftanding, I believe there are more
VOL. n c
1 8 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
Inftances of extravagant Pride to be found among Men
than among Women, and this Fault is certainly more hainous
in the former than in the latter.
UPON the whole, I conclude, that it will be impoffible to
lafh any Vice, of which the Men, are not equally guilty with
the Women, and confequently deferve an equal (if not a
greater, Share in the Cenfure. However, I exhort both to
amend, where both are culpable, otherwife they may expect
to be feverely handled by Sir,
Your Humble Servant,
SILENCE DOGOOD.
N. B. Mrs. Dogood has lately left her Seat in the Country ,
and come to Bofton, where jhe intends to tarry for the Summer
Seafon, in order to compleat her Obfervations of the prefent
reigning Vices of the Town.
(Paper)
N45
June 4. to Monday June n. 1722.
Quern Dies videt veniens Superbum,
Hunc Dies vidit fugiens jacentem.
SENECA.
To the Author of the New-England Courant.
SIR, [No VI.
AMONG the many reigning Vices of the Town which
may at any Time come under my Confideration and Repre-
henfion, there is none which I am more inclin'd to expofe
than that of Pride. It is acknowledg'd by all to be a Vice
the most hateful to God and Man. Even thofe who nourifh
it in themfelves, hate to fee it in others. The proud Man
1722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 19
afpires after Nothing lefs than an unlimited Superiority
over his Fellow- Creatures. He has made himfelf a King
in Soliloquy; fancies himfelf conquering the World, and
the Inhabitants thereof confulting on proper Methods to
acknowledge his Merit. I fpeak it to my Shame. I my felf
was a Queen from the Fourteenth to the Eighteenth Year
of my Age, and govern'd the World all the Time of my being
govern'd by my Mafter. But this fpeculative Pride may
be the Subject of another Letter: I fhall at prefent confine
my Thoughts to what we call Pride of Apparel. This Sort
of Pride has been growing upon us ever fince we parted
with our Homefpun Cloaths for Fourteen Penny Stuff, &c.
And the Pride of Apparel has begot and nourifh'd in us a
Pride of Heart, which portends the Ruin of Church and
State. Pride goeth before Dejtruction, and a haughty Spirit
before a Fall: And I remember my late Reverend Husband
would often fay upon this Text, That a Fall was the natural
Confequence, as well as Punifhment of Pride. Daily Ex-
perience is fufficient to evince the Truth of this Obfervation.
Perfons of fmall Fortune under the Dominion of this Vice,
feldom confider their Inability to maintain themfelves in it,
but ftrive to imitate their Superiors in eftate, or Equals in
Folly, until one Misfortune comes upon the Neck of another,
and every Step they take is a Step backwards. By ftriving
to appear rich they become really poor, and deprive them-
felves of that Pity and Charity, which is due to the humble
poor Man, who is made fo more immediately by Providence.
THIS Pride of Apparel will appear the more foolifh, if
we confider, that thofe airy Mortals, who have no other Way
of making themfelves confiderable but by gorgeous Apparel,
draw after them Crowds of Imitators, who hate each other
20 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
while they endeavour after a Similitude of Manners. They
deftroy by Example, and envy one another's Deftruction.
I CANNOT difmifs this Subject without fome Observa-
tions on a particular Fafhion now reigning among my own
Sex, the moft immodeft and inconvenient of any the Art of
Woman has invented, namely, that of Hoop-Petticoats. By
thefe they are incommoded in their General and Particular
Calling ; and therefore they cannot anf wer the ends of either
neceffary or ornamental Apparel. Thefe monftrous topfy-
turvy Mortar-Pieces, are neither fit for the Church, the Hall,
or the Kitchen ; and if a Number of them were well mounted
on Noddles-Island, they would look more like Engines of
War for bombarding the Town, than Ornaments of the Fair
Sex. An honeft Neighbour of mine, happening to be in
Town fome time fince on a publick Day, inform'd me, that
he faw four Gentlewomen with their Hoops half mounted in
a Balcony, as they withdrew to the Wall, to the great Terror
of the Militia, who (he thinks) might attribute their irreg-
ular Volleys to the formidable Appearance of the Ladies
Petticoats.
I ASSURE you, Sir, I have but little Hopes of perfwading
my Sex, by this Letter, utterly to relinquifh the extravagant
Foolery, and Indication of Immodefty, in this monftrous
Garb of their's; but I would at leaft defire them to lefsen
the Circumference of their Hoops, and leave it with them to
confider, Whether they, who pay no Rates or Taxes, ought
to take up more Room in the King's Highway, than the Men,
who yearly contribute to the Support of the Government.
/ am, Sir,
Your Humble Servant,
SILENCE DOGOOD.
1722] THE DO GOOD PAPERS 21
N 47
June 1 8. to Monday June 25. 1722.
Give nte the Mufe, whose generous Force,
Impatient of the Reins,
Purfues an unattentpted Courfe,
Breaks all the Criticks Iron Chains.
WATTS.
To the Author of the New-England Courant.
SIR, No VII.
It has been the Complaint of many Ingenious Foreigners,
who have travell'd amongft us, That good Poetry is not to be
expected in New-England. I am apt to Fancy, the Reafon
is, not becaufe our Countrymen are altogether void of a
Poetical Genius, nor yet becaufe we have not thofe Advan-
tages of Education which other Countries have, but purely
becaufe we do not afford that Praife and Encouragement
which is merited, when any thing extraordinary of this Kind
is produc'd among us: Upon which Confideration I have
determined, when I meet with a Good Piece of New-Eng-
land Poetry, to give it a fuitable Encomium, and thereby
endeavour to difcover to the World fome of its Beautys, in
order to encourage the Author to go on, and blefs the World
with more, and more Excellent Productions.
THERE has lately appear'd among us a moft Excellent
Piece of Poetry, entituled, An Elegy upon the much Lamented
Death of Mrs. Mehitebell Kitel, Wife of Mr. John Kitel of
Salem, Etc. It may justly be faid in its Praife, without
Flattery to the Author, that it is the moft Extraordinary
Piece that was ever wrote in New-England. The Lan-
guage is fo foft and Eafy, the Expreffion fo moving and
22 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
pathetick, but above all, the Verfe and Numbers fo Charming
and Natural, that it is almoft beyond Companion.
The Mufe difdains 1
Thoje Links and Chains,
Meajures and Rules of Vulgar Strains,
And o'er the Laws of Harmony a Sovereign Queen she reigns.
I FIND no English Author, Ancient or Modern, whofe
Elegies may be compar'd with this, in refpect to the Ele-
gance of Stile, or Smoothnefs of Rhime; and for the affect-
ing Part, I will leave your Readers to judge, if ever they read
any Lines, that would fooner make them draw their Breath
and Sigh, if not fhed Tears, than thefe following.
Come let us mourn, for we have lojt a
Wife, a Daughter, and a Sifter,
Who has lately taken Flight, and
greatly we have mijt her.
In another place,
Some little Time before fhe yielded up her Breath,
She faid, I ne'er fhall hear one Sermon more on Earth.
She kift her Hufband fome little Time before fhe expired,
Then lean'd her Head the Pillow on, juft out of Breath and
tir'd.
BUT the Threefold Appellation in the firft Line
a Wife, a Daughter, and a Sifter,
muft not pafs unobferved. That Line in the celebrated
Watts,
GUNSTON the Juft, the Generous, and the Young,
is nothing Comparable to it. The latter only mentions
i Watts.
I 7 22] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 23
three Qualifications of one Perfon who was deceafed, which
therefore could raife Grief and Compaffion but for One.
Whereas the former, (our mojt excellent Poet) gives his
Reader a Sort of an Idea of the Death of Three Perjons, viz.
a Wife, a Daughter, and a Sijter,
which is Three Times as great a Lofs as the Death of One,
and confequently muft raife Three Times as much Grief
and Compaffion in the Reader.
I SHOULD be very much ftraitened for Room, if I fhould
attempt to difcover even half the Excellencies of this Elegy
which are obvious to me. Yet I cannot omit one Obferva-
tion, which is, that the Author has (to his Honour) invented
a new Species of Poetry, which wants a Name, and was
never before known. His mufe fcorns to be confin'd to the
old Meafures and Limits, or to obferve the dull Rules of
Criticks ;
Nor Rapin gives her Rules to fly, nor Purcell Notes to Sing.
Watts.
NOW 'tis Pity that fuch an Excellent Piece fhould not be
dignify'd with a particular Name; and feeing it cannot
juftly be called, either Epic, Sapphic, Lyric, or Pindaric,
nor any other Name yet invented, I prefume it may, (in
Honour and Remembrance of the Dead) be called the
KITELIC. Thus much in the Praife of Kitelic Poetry.
IT is certain, that thofe Elegies which are of our own
Growth, (and our Soil feldom produces any other fort of
Poetry) are by far the greateft part, wretchedly Dull and
Ridiculous. Now fince it is imagin'd by many, that our
Poets are honeft, well-meaning Fellows, who do their beft,
and that if they had but fome Infractions how to govern
24 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
Fancy with Judgment, they would make indifferent good
Elegies; I fhall here fubjoin a Receipt for that purpofe,
which was left me as a Legacy, (among other valuable
Rarities) by my Reverend Hufband. It is as follows,
A RECEIPT to make a New-England
Funeral ELEGY.
For the Title of your Elegy. Of theje you may have
enough ready made to your Hands; but if you should chuje
to make it your jelf, you mujt be jure not to omit the words
^Etatis Suae, which will Beautify it exceedingly.
For the Subject of your Elegy. Take one of your Neigh-
bours who has lately departed this Life; it is no great matter
at what Age the Party dy'd, but it will be be ft if he went away
juddenly, being KilPd, Drown'd, or Frose to Death.
Having chose the Per Jon, take all his Virtues, Excellencies,
&c. and if he have not enough, you may borrow fome to make
up a fufficient Quantity: To thefe add his laft Words, dying
Expreffions, Sac. if they are to be had; mix all thefe together,
and be jure you ftrain them well. Then feafon all with a
Handful or two of Melancholly Expreffions, fuch as, Dread-
ful, Deadly, cruel cold Death, unhappy Fate, weeping Eyes,
&c. Have mixed all thefe Ingredients well, put them into
the empty Scull of fome young Harvard; (but in Cafe you
have ne'er a One at Hand, you may ufe your own,) there let
them Ferment for the Space of a Fortnight, and by that Time
they will be incorporated into a Body, which take out, and
having prepared a sufficient Quantity of double Rhimes, fuch
as Power, Flower; Quiver, Shiver; Grieve us, Leave us;
tell you, excel you; Expeditions, Physicians; Fatigue him,
Intrigue him; &c. you muft fpread all upon Paper, and if
1722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 25
you can procure a Scrap of Latin to put at the End, it will
garni jh it mightily; then having affixed your Name at the
Bottom, with a Moeftus Compofuit, you will have an Excellent
Elegy.
N. B. This Receipt will jerve when a Female is the Sub-
ject of your Elegy, provided you borrow a greater Quantity of
Virtues, Excellencies, &c.
SIR,
Your Servant,
SILENCE DOGOOD
P. S. I shall make no other Anfwer to Hyper car pus's
Criticifm on my laf t Letter than this, Mater me genuit, peperit
mox filia matrem.
The N 49
New-England Courant.
From Monday July 2. to Monday July 9. 1722.
To the Author of the New- England Courant.
SIR, No VIII.
I PREFER the Mowing Abftract from the London
Journal to any Thing of my own, and therefore shall pref ent
it to your Readers this week without any further Preface.
'WITHOUT Freedom of Thought, there can be no fuch
'Thing as Wifdom; and no fuch Thing as publick Liberty,
'without Freedom of Speech; which is the Right of every
' Man, as far as by it, he does not hurt or controul the Right
'of another: And this is the only Check it ought to fuffer, and
'the only Bounds it ought to Know.
'This f acred Privilege is so effential to free Governments,
26 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
'that the Security of Property, and the Freedom of Speech
'always go together; and in thofe wretched Countries where
'a Man cannot call his Tongue his own, he can fcarce call
'any Thing elfe his own. Whoever would overthrow the
'Liberty of a Nation, must begin by fubduing the Freenefs
' of Speech ; a Thing terrible to Publick Traytors.
'This Secret was fo well known to the Court of King
'Charles the Firjt, that his wicked Miniftry procured a
'Proclamation, to forbid the People to talk of Parliaments,
'which thofe Traytors had laid afide. To affert the un-
' doubted Right of the Subject, and defend his Majesty's
'legal Prerogative, was called Dif affection, and punifhed as
'Sedition. Nay, People were forbid to talk of Religion in
'their Families: For the Priefts had combined with the
'Minifters to cook up Tyranny, and fupprefs Truth and the
'Law, while the late King James, when Duke of York, went
'avowedly to Mafs, Men were fined, imprifoned and undone,
' for faying he was a Papif t : And that King Charles the Second
'might live more fecurely a Papift, there was an Act of Par-
'liament made, declaring it Treafon to fay that he was one.
' That Men ought to f peak well of their Governours is true,
'while their Governours deferve to be well fpoken of; but to
'do publick Mif chief without hearing of it, is only the Pre-
'rogative and Felicity of Tyranny: A free People will be
'fhewing that they are jo, by their Freedom of Speech.
'The Adminiftration of Government is nothing elfe but
'the Attendance of the Trujtees of the People upon the Intereft
' and Affairs of the People : And as it is the Part and Bufiness
' of the People, for whofe Sake alone all publick Matters are,
'or ought to be tranfacted, to fee whether they be well or ill
'tranf acted; fo it is the Interest, and ought to be the Ambi-
1722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 27
'tion, of all honeft Magiftrates, to have their Deeds openly
'examined, and publickly fcan'd: Only the wicked Govern-
'ours of Men dread what is faid of them; Audivit Tiberius
' proba queis lacerabitur, atque perculfus eft. The public
' Cenf ure was true, elf e he had not felt it bitter.
'Freedom of Speech is ever the Symptom, as well as the
'Effect of a good Government. In old Rome, all was left to
'the Judgment and Pleafure of the People, who examined
'the publick Proceedings with fuch Difcretion, & cenfured
'thofe who adminiftred them with fuch Equity and Mild-
'nefs, that in the fpace of Three Hundred Years, not five
'publick Minifters fuffered unjuftly. Indeed whenever the
' Commons proceeded to Violence, the great Ones had been
'the Agreffors.
'GUILT only dreads Liberty of Speech, which drags it
'out of its lurking Holes, and expofes its Deformity and
'Horrour to Day-light. Horatius, Valerius, Cincinnatus,
'and other vertuous and undefigning Magiftrates of the
'Roman Commonwealth, had nothing to fear from Liberty
' of Speech. Their virtuous Adminif tration, the more it was
'examin'd, the more it brightned and gain'd by Enquiry.
'When Valerius in particular, was accufed upon fome flight
'grounds of affecting the Diadem; he who was the firft
' Minifter of Rome, does not accufe the People for examining
'his Conduct, but approved his Innocence in a Speech to
' them ; and gave fuch Satisfaction to them, and gained fuch
'Popularity to himfelf, that they gave him a new Name;
l inde cognomen factum Publicola ejt; to denote that he was
' their Favourite and their Friend Lata deinde leges
'Ante omnes de provocation ADVERSUS MAGISTRATUS
'AD POPULUM, Livii, lib. 2, Cap. 8.
28 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
'But Things afterwards took another Turn. Rome with
'the Lofs of its Liberty, loft alfo its Freedom of Speech;
'then Mens Words began to be feared and watched; and
'then firft began the poyjonous Race of Informers banifhed
' indeed under the righteous Adminif tration of Titus, Narva,
'Trajan, Aurelius, &c. but encouraged and enriched under
'the vile Ministry of Sejanus, Tigillinus, Pallas, and Cle-
( ander: Queri libet, quod in fecreta nojtra non inquirant
'principes, niji quos Odimus, fays Pliny to Trajan.
'The beft Princes have ever encouraged and promoted
'Freedom of Speech; they know that upright Meafures
'would defend themf elves, and that all upright Men would
'defend them. Tacitus, f peaking of the Reign of fome of
'the Princes abovemention'd, fays with Extafy, Rara Tem-
'porum felicitate, ubi fenfire qua veils, & qua fentias dicer e
1 licet: A bleffed Time when you might think what you would,
'and fpeak what you thought.
'I doubt not but old Spencer and his Son, who were the
' Chief Minifters and Betrayers of Edward the Second, would
'have been very glad to have ftopped the Mouths of all the
'honeft Men in England. They dreaded to be called Tray-
l tors, becaufe they were Tray tors. And I dare fay, Queen
' Elizabeth's Walfingham, who deferved no Reproaches,
'feared none. Mifreprefentation of publick Meafures is
'eafily overthrown, by reprefenting publick Meafures truly;
'when they are honeft, they ought to be publickly known,
'that they may be publickly commended; but if they are
'knavifh or pernicious, they ought to be publickly detefted.
Yours, &c,
SILENCE DOGOOD.
1722] THE DO GOOD PAPERS 29
N 5 i
From Monday July 16. to Monday July 23. 1722
Corruptio optimi ejt pejjima
To the Author of the New-England Courant.
SIR,
It has been for fome Time a Queftion with me, Whether
a Commonwealth fuffers more by hypocritical Pretenders
to Religion, or by the openly Profane? But fome late
Thoughts of this Nature, have inclined me to think, that
the Hypocrite is the moft dangerous Perfon of the Two,
efspecially if he fustains a Poft in the Government, and we
confider his Conduct as it regards the Publick. The firft
Artifice of a State Hypocrite is, by a few favoury Expref-
sions which coft him Nothing, to betray the beft Men in
his Country into an Opinion of his Goodnefs; and if the
Country wherein he lives is noted for the Purity of Religion,
he the more eafily gains his End, and confequently may
more juftly be expos'd and detefted. A notoriously pro-
fane Perfon in a private Capacity, rums himfelf, and per-
haps the Deftruction of a few of his Equals; but a publick
Hypocrite every day deceives his betters, and makes them
the Ignorant Trumpeters of his fupposed Godlinefs: They
take him for a Saint, and pafs him for one, without con-
fidering that they are (as it were) the Inftruments of publick
Mifchief out of Confcince, (sic) and ruin their Country for
God's sake.
THIS Political Defcription of a Hypocrite, may (for
ought I know) be taken for a new Doctrine by fome of your
Readers ; but let them confider, that a little Religion, and a
little Honejty, goes a great way in Courts. 'Tis not incon-
30 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
fiftent with Charity to diftruft a Religious Man in Power,
tho' he may be a good Man ; he has many Temptations " to
propagate public Deduction for Perfonal Advantages and
Security:" And if his Natural Temper be covetous, and
his Actions often contradict his pious Difcourfe, we may
with great Reafon conclude that he has fome other Defign
in his Religion befides barely getting to Heaven. But the
moft dangerous Hypocrite in a Common- Wealth, is one
who leaves the Gospel for the jake of the Law: A Man com-
pounded of Law and Gospel, is able to cheat a whole Country
with his Religion, and then deftroy them under Colour of
Law: And here the Clergy are in great Danger of being
deceiv'd, and the People of being deceiv'd by the Clery,
until the Monster arrives to fuch power and Wealth, that he
is out of the reach of both, and can opprefs the People with-
out their own blind Affistance. And it is a fad Obfervation,
that when the People too late fee their Error, yet the Clergy
f till perf ist in their Encomiums on the Hypocrite ; and when
he happens to die for the Good of his Country, without leaving
behind him the Memory of one good Action, he fhall be fure
to have his Funeral Sermon ftuffed with Pious Expreffions
which he dropt at fuch a Time, and at fuch a Place, and on
fuch an Occafion; than which nothing can be more preju-
dicial to the Intereft of Religion, nor indeed to the Memory
of the Perfon deceaf'd, The Reafon of this Blindnefs in the
Clergy is, becaufe they are honourably fupported (as they
ought to be) by their People, and fee nor feel nothing of the
Oppreffion which is obvious and burdenfome to every one
elfe.
But this Subject raifes in me an Indignation not to be
born ; and if we have had, or are like to have any Instances
1722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 31
of this Nature in New-England, we cannot better manifeft
our Love to Religion and the Country, than by letting the
Deceivers in a true Light, and undeceiving the Deceived,
however fuch Difcoveries may be reprefented by the ignorant
or defigning Enemies of our Peace and Safety.
I fhall connlude with a Paragraph or two from an inge-
nious Political Writer in the London Journal, the better to
convince your Readers, that Publick Deftruction may be
eafily carry'd on by hypocritical Pretenders to Religion.
"A raging Paffion for immoderate Gam had made Men
"univerfally and intenfely hard-hearted: They were every
"where devouring one another. And yet the Directors and
"their Accomplices, who were the acting Inftruments of all
"this outrageous Madnefs and Mif chief, fet up for wonderful
" pious Perfons, while they were defying Almighty God, and
"plundering Men; and they fet apart a Fund of Subfcrip-
"tions for charitable Ufes; that is, they mercilessly made a
"whole People Beggars, and charitably fupported a few
"necejfitous and worthless FAVOURITES. I doubt not,
"but if the Villany had gone on with Succefs, they would
" have had their Names handed down to Pofterity with En-
"comiums; as the Names of other publick Robbers, have
"been! We have Hijtorians and ODE MAKERS now
"living, very proper for fuch a Task. It is certain, that
"moft People did, at one Time, believe the Directors to be
" great and worthy Perjons. And an honeft Country Clergy-
" man told me laft Summer, upon the Road, that Sir John
"was an excellent publick-fpirited Perfon, for that he had
"beautified his Chancel.
"Upon the whole we muft not judge of one another by
"their beft Actions; fince the worft Men do fome Good,
32 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
"and all Men make fine Profeffions: But we muft judge of
"Men by the whole of their Conduct, and Effects of it.
"Thorough Honefty requires great and long Proof, fince
"many a Man, long thought honeft, has at length proved a
"Knave. And it is from judging without Proof, or falfe
"Proof, that Mankind continue Unhappy."
/ am, SIR,
your humble Servant,
SILENCE DOGOOD.
[NO 54
New-England Courant
From Monday Auguft 6. to Monday Auguft 13. 1722.
Optime" jocietas hominum jervabitur. Cic.
To the Author of the New-England Courant.
SIR, [No X.
DISCOURSING lately with an intimate Friend of mine
of the lamentable Condition of Widows, he put into my
Hands a Book, wherein the ingenious Author propofes
(I think) a certain Method for their Relief. I have often
thought of fome fuch Project for their Benefit my felf, and
intended to communicate my Thoughts to the Publick ; but
to prefer my own Propofals to what follows, would be rather
an Argument of Vanity in me than Good Will to the many
Hundreds of my Fellow-Sufferers now in New-England.
'We have (fays he) abundance of Women, who have been
' Bred well, and Liv'd well, Ruin'd in a few Years, and per-
'haps, left Young, with a Houfe full of Children, and nothing
'to Support them; which falls generally upon the Wives of
'the Inferior Clergy, or of Shopkeepers and Artificers.
1722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 33
'They marry Wives with perhaps 3oo/. to iooo/. Portion,
'and can fettle no Jointure upon them; either they are Ex-
' travagant and Idle, and Waf te it, or Trade decays, or Loff es,
'or a Thousand Contingences happen to bring a Tradefman
'to Poverty, and he Breaks; the Poor Young Woman, it
'may be, has Three or Four Children, and is driven to a
'thoufand fhifts, while he lies in the Mini or Fryars under
'the Dilemma of a Statute of Bankrupt; but if he Dies, then
'fhe is abfolutely Undone, unlefs fhe has Friends to go to.
'Suppose an Office to be Erected, to be call'd An Office
' of Enjurance for Widows, upon the following Conditions ;
'Two thoufand Women, or their Hufbands for them,
'Enter their Names into a Regifter to be kept for that pur-
'pofe, with the Names, Age, and Trade of their Husbands,
'with the Place of their abode, Paying at the Time of their
'Entring 55. down with is. ^d. per Quarter, which is to the
'fetting up and fupport of an Office with Clerks, and all
'proper Officers for the fame; for their is no maintaining
'fuch without charge; they receive every one of them a Cer-
' tificate, SeaPd by the Secretary of the Office, and Sign'd by
'the Governors, for the Articles hereafter mentioned.
'If any one the Women becomes a Widow, at any Time
'after Six Months from the Date of her Subfcription, upon
'due Notice given, and Claim made at the Office in form,
'as fhall be directed, fhe fhall receive within Six Months
'after fuch Claim made, the Sum of 500^. in Money, without
'any Deductions, faving fome fmall Fees to the Officers,
'which the Truftees muft fettle, that they may be be (sic)
' known.
'In Confideration of this, every Woman fo Subfcribing,
'Obliges her felf to Pay as often as any Member of the
VOL. II D
34 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [172-2
'Society becomes a Widow, the due Proportion or Share
' allotted to her to Pay, towards the $ool. for the f aid Widow,
' provided her fhare does not exceed the Sum of 55.
'No Seamen or Soldiers Wives to be accepted into fuch a
'Propofal as this, on the Account before mention'd, becaufe
'the Contingences of their Lives are not equal to others,
' unlefs they will admit this general Exception, f uppofing they
' do not Die out of the Kingdom.
'It might alfo be an Exception, That if the Widow, that
'Claim'd, had really, bona fide, left her by her Husband to
'her own ufe, clear of all Debts and Legacies, 2000^ fhe
'fhou'd have no Claim; the Intent being to Aid the Poor,
'not add to the Rich. But there lies a great many Objec-
' tions againft fuch an Article : As
' i. It may tempt fome to forfwear themf elves.
'2. People will order their Wills fo as to defraud the
' Exception.
'One Exception muft be made; and that is, Either very
'unequal Matches, as when a Woman of Nineteen Marries
'an old Man of Seventy; or Women who have infirm Hus-
' bands, I mean known and publickly f o. To remedy which,
'Two things are to be done.
'The Office muft have moving Officers without doors,
' who fhall inform themf elves of fuch matters, and if any fuch
' Circumftances appear, the Office fhould have 14 days time
' to return their Money, and declare their Subfcriptions Void.
'2. No Woman whofe Husband had any vifible Dif-
' temper, fhould claim under a Year after her Subfcription.
'One grand Objection againft this Propofal, is, How you
'will oblige People to pay either their Subfcription, or their
' Quarteridge.
1722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 35
'To this I anfwer, By no Compulsion (tho' that might
'be perform'd too) but altogether voluntary; only with this
'Argument to move it, that if they do not continue their
'Payments, they lofe the Benefit of their paft Contributions.
'I know it lies as a fair Objection againft fuch a Project
'as this, That the number of Claims are fo uncertain, That
'no Body knows what they engage in, when they Subfcribe,
1 for fo many may die Annually out of Two Thouf and, as may
'perhaps make my Payment 20 or 25^. per Ann, and if a
'Woman happen to Pay that for Twenty Years, though fhe
' receives the 500^. at laf t fhe is a great Lofer ; but if fhe dies
' before her Husband, fhe has lef fened his Eftate confiderably,
'and brought a great Lofs upon him.
' Firjt, I fay to this, That I wou'd have fuch a Propofal as
'this be fo fair and eafy, that if any Perfon who had Sub-
'fcrib'd found the Payments too high, and the Claims fall too
'often, it fhou'd be at their Liberty at any Time, upon
'Notice given, to be releafed and ftand Oblig'd no longer;
' and if fo, Volenti non fit Injuria; every one knows beft what
' their own Circumf tances will bear.
'In the next Place, becaufe Death is a Contingency, no
'Man can directly Calculate, and all that Subfcribe must
'take the Hazard; yet that a Prejudice againft this Notion
'may not be built on wrong Grounds, let's examine a little
'the Probable hazard, and fee how many fhall die Annually
'out of 2000 Subfcribers, accounting by the common pro-
' portion of Burials, to the number of the Living.
'Sir William Petty in his Political Arithmetick, by a very
'Ingenious Calculation, brings the Account of Burials in
' London, to be i in 40 Annually, and and proves it by all the
'proper Rules of proportion'd Computation; and Fie take
36 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN- FRANKLIN [1722
'my Scheme from thence. If then One in Forty of all the
'People in England, fhould Die, that fuppofes Fifty to Die
' every Year out of our Two Thousand Subf cribers ; and for
' a Woman to Contribute 5$. to every one, would certainly be
'to agree to Pay i2/. ictf. per Ann. upon her Husband's Life,
'to receive 500^. when he Di'd, and lofe it if fhe Di'd firft;
'and yet this wou'd not be a hazard beyond reafon too great
' for the Gain.
'But I fhall offer fome Reafons to prove this to be impof-
'fible in our Cafe; Firft, Sir William Petty allows the City
'of London to contain about a Million of People, and our
'Yearly Bill of Mortality never yet amounted to 25000 in the
'moft Sickly Years we have had, Plague Years excepted,
' fometimes but to 20000, which is but One in Fifty : Now it
'is to be confider'd here, that Children and Ancient People
'make up, one time with another, at least one third of our
'Bills of Mortality; and our Ajjurances lies upon none but
' the Midling Age of the People, which is the only age wherein
'Life is any thing fteady; and if that be allow'd, there can-
'not Die by his Computation, above One in Eighty of fuch
'People, every Year, but becaufe I would be fure to leave
'Room for Cafualty, I'le allow one in Fifty fhall Die out of
'our Number Subfcrib'd.
'Secondly, It muft be allow'd, that our Payments falling
' due only on the Death of Husbands, this One in Fifty muft
'not be reckoned upon the Two thoufand; for 'tis to be
'fuppos'd at leaft as many Women fhall die as Men, and then
* there is nothing to Pay; fo that One in Fifty upon One
'Thoufand, is the moft that I can fuppofe fhall claim the
' Contribution hi a Year, which is Twenty Claims a Year at
' 55. each, and is 5/. per Ann. and if a Woman pays this for
1722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 37
'Twenty Year, and claims at laft, fhe is Gainer enough, and
'no extraordinary Lofer if she never claims at all: And I
'verily believe any Office might undertake to demand at all
'Adventures not above 61. per Ann. and fecure the Sub-
'fcriber 5oo/. in cafe she come to claim as a Widow.
I would leave this to the Confideration of all who are con-
cern'd for their own or their Neighbour's Temporal Happi-
nefs; and I am humbly of Opinion, that the Country is
ripe for many fuch Friendly Societies, whereby every Man
might help another, without any Differvice to himfelf. We
have many charitable Gentlemen who Yearly give liberally
to the Poor, and where can they better beftow their Charity
than on thofe who become fo by Providence, and for ought
they know on themfelves. But above all, the Clergy have
the most need of coming into fome fuch Project as this.
They as well as poor Men (according to the Proverb) gener-
ally abound in Children; and how many Clergymen in the
Country are forc'd to labour in their Fields, to keep them-
felves in a Condition above Want ? How then shall they be
able to leave any thing to their forfaken, dejected, & almoft
forgotten Wives and Children. For my own Part, I have
nothing left to live on, but Contentment and a few Cows;
and tho' I cannot expect to be reliev'd by this Project, yet
it would be no fmall Satisfaction to me to fee it put in
Practice for the Benefit of others.
/ am, SIR, &c.
SILINCE DOGOOD.
38 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
The [N 55
New-England Courant.
From Monday August 13. to Monday Auguft 20. 1722.
Neque licitum interea eft meam amicam vtfere.
To the Author of the New- England Courant.
SIR, [No XI.
FROM a natural Compaffion to my Fellow-Creatures,
I have fometimes been betray'd into Tears at the Sight of an
Object of Charity, who by a bear Relation of his Circum-
ftances, feem'd to demand the affiftance of thofe about him.
The following Petition reprefents in fo lively a Manner the
forlorn State of a Virgin well ftricken in Years and Repent-
ance, that I cannot forbear publifhing it at this Time, with
fome Advice to the Petitioner.
To Mrs. Silence Dogood.
The Humble Petition of Margaret Aftercaft,
SHEWETH,
" i. THAT your Petitioner being puff d up in her younger
"Years with a numerous Train of Humble Servants, had the
"Vanity to think, that her extraordinary Wit and Beauty
"would continually recommend her to the Efteem of the
" Gallants ; and therefore as foon as it came to be publickly
"known that any Gentleman addrefs'd her, he was imme-
"diately difcarded.
"2. THAT feveral of your Petitioners Humble Servants,
"who upon their being rejected by her, were, to all Appear-
"ance in a dying Condition, have fince recover'd their
"Health, and been feveral Years married, to the great Sur-
1722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 39
"prize and Grief of your Petitioner, who parted with them
"upon no other Conditions, but that they fhould die or run
"diftracted for her, as feveral of them faithfully promis'd
"to do.
"3. THAT your Petititioner finding her felf dif appointed
"in and neglected by her former Adorers, and no new Offers
"appearing for fome Years paft, fhe has been induftrioufly
"contracting Acquaintance with feveral Families in Town
"and Country, where any young Gentlemen or Widowers
"have refided, and endeavour'd to appear as converfable
"as poffible before them: She has like wife been a ftrict
"Obferver of the Fafhion, and always appear'd well drefs'd.
"And the better to reftore her decay'd Beauty, fhe has con-
"fum'd above Fifty Pound's Worth of the moft approved
" Cosmeticks. But all won't do.
"YOUR Petitioner therefore moft humbly prays, That
"you would be pleafed to form a Project for the Relief of
"all thofe penitent Mortals of the fair Sex, that are like to
"be punifh'd with their Virginity until old Age, for the Pride
"and Infolence of their Youth.
"And your Petitioner (as in Duty bound) fhall ever pray,
" &c. Margaret Aftercajt "
WERE I endow'd with the Faculty of Matchmaking, it
fhould be improv'd for the Benefit of Mrs. M argaret and
others in her Condition: but fince my extream Modefty
and Taciturnity, forbids an Attempt of this Nature, I would
advife them to relieve themfelves in a Method of Friendly
Society] and that already publifh'd for Widows, I conceive
would be a very proper Propofal for them, whereby every
fingle Woman, upon full Proof given of her continuing a
40 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
Virgin for the Space of Eighteen Years, (dating her Virginity
from the Age of Twelve,) should be entituled to 500 /. in
ready Cafh.
BUT then it will be necefsary to make the following
j
Exceptions.
1. THAT no Woman shall be admitted into the Society
after she is Twenty Five Years old, who has made a Practice
of entertaining and difcarding Humble Servants, without
fumcient Reafon for fo doing, until fhe has manifested her
Repentance in Writing under her Hand.
2. NO Member of the Society who has declar'd before
two credible Witneffes, That it is well known fhe has refused
jeveral good Offers jince the Time of her Subjcribing, fhall
be entituled to the 500 /. when she comes of Age ; that is to
fay, Thirty Years.
3. NO Woman, who after claiming and receiving, has had
the good Fortune to marry, fhall entertain any Company
with Encomiums on her Husband, above the Space of one
Hour at a Time, upon Pain of returning one half the Money
into the Office, for the firft Offence; and upon the fecond
Offence to return the Remainder. 7 am, SIR,
Your Humble Servant,
SILENCE DOGOOD.
[No 58
From Monday September 3. to Monday September 10. 1722.
Quod eft in cordefobrii, eft in ore ebrii.
To the Author of the New- England Courant.
SIR, [No XII.
IT is no unprofitable tho' unpleasant Purfuit, diligently
to infpect and confider the Manners & Converfation of Men,
1 722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 41
who, infenfible of the greateft Enjoyments of humane Life,
abandon themfelves to Vice from a falfe Notion of Pleajure
and good Fellowjhip. A true and natural Reprefentation
of any Enormity, is often the beft Argument againft it and
Means of removing it, when the moft fevere Reprehenfions
alone, are found ineffectual.
I WOULD in this Letter improve the little Obfervation
I have made on the Vice of Drunkenejs, the better to reclaim
the good Fellows who ufually pay the Devotions of the Even-
ing to Bacchus.
I DOUBT not but moderate Drinking has been improv'd
for the Diffufion of Knowledge among the ingenious Part
of Mankind, who want the Talent of a ready Utterance,
in order to difcover the Conceptions of their Minds in an
entertaining and intelligible Manner. 'Tis true, drinking
does not improve our Faculties, but it enables us to uf e them ;
and therefore I conclude, that much Study and Experience,
and a little Liquor, are of abfolute Neceffity for fome Tem-
pers, in order to make them accomplifh'd Orators. Die.
Ponder difcovers an excellent Judgment when he is infpir'd
with a Glafs or two of Claret, but he pafses for a Fool among
thofe of fmall Obfervation, who never faw him the better
for Drink. And here it will not be improper to obferve,
That the moderate Ufe of Liquor, and a well plac'd and well
regulated Anger, often produce this fame Effect; and fome
who cannot ordinarily talk but in broken Sentences and
falfe Grammar, do in the Heat of Paffion exprefs themfelves
with as much Eloquence as Warmth. Hence it it is that
my own Sex are generally the moft eloquent, because the
moft paffionate. "It has been faid in the Praife of fome
"Men," (fays an ingenious Author,) " that they could talk
42 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN" FRANKLIN [1722
whole Hours together upon any thing ; but it muf t be owned
to the Honour of the other Sex, that there are many among
them who can talk whole Hours together upon Nothing. I
have known a Woman branch out into a long extempore Dif-
fertation on the Edging of a Petticoat, and chide her Servant
for breaking a China Cup, in all the Figures of Rhetorick."
BUT after all it muft be confider'd, that no Pleafure can
give Satisfaction or prove advantageous to a reajondble
Mind, which is not attended with the Rejtraints of Reajon.
Enjoyment is not to be found by Excefs in any fensual
Gratification; but on the contrary, the immoderate Crav-
ings of the Voluptuary, are always fucceeded with Loathing
and a palled Apetite. What Pleafure can the Drunkard
have in the Reflection, that, while in his Cups, he retain'd
only the Shape of a Man, and acted the Part of a Beaft;
or that from reafonable Difcourfe a few Minutes before, he
defcended to Impertinence and Nonfense?
I CANNOT pretend to account for the different Effects
of Liquor on Perfons of different Difpofitions, who are guilty
of Excefs in the Ufe of it. 'Tis ftrange to fee Men of a regu-
lar Converf ation become rakifh and profane when intoxi-
cated with Drink, and yet more furprizing to obferve, that
fome who appear to be the moft profligate Wretches when
fober, become mighty religious in their Cups, and will then,
and at no other Time addrefs their Maker, but when they
are deftitute of Reafon, and actually affronting him. Some
fhrink in the Wetting, and others fwell to fuch an unufual
Bulk in their Imaginations, that they can in an Inftant
underftand all Arts and Sciences, by the liberal Education of
a little vivyfying Punch, or a fufficient Quantity of other
exhilerating Liquor.
1722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 43
AND as the Effects of Liquor are various, fo are the Char-
acters given to its Devourers. It argues fome Shame in the
Drunkards themfelves, in that they have invented number--
lefs Words and Phrafes to cover their Folly, whofe proper
Significations are harmlefs, or have no Signification at all.
They are feldom known to be drunk, tho they are very often
boozey, cogey, tipfey, fox'd, merry, mellow, fuddl'd, groat-
able, Confoundedly cut, See two Moons, are Among the Philij-
tines, In a very good Humour, See the Sun, or, The Sun has
fhone upon them', they Clip the King's Englifh, are Almojt
froze, Feavourijh, In their Altitudes, Pretty well enter' d, &c.
In fhort, every Day produces fome new Word or Phrafe
which might be added to the Vocabulary of the Tiplers:
But I have chofe to mention thefe few, becaufe if at any
Time a Man of Sobriety and Temperance happens to cut
himjelf confoundedly, or is almofs froze, or feavourijh, or
accidentally fees the Sun, &c. he may efcape the Imputation
of being drunk, when his Mif fortune comes to be related.
/ am SIR,
Your Humble Servant,
SILENCE DOGOOD.
[NO 60
From Monday September 17. to Monday September 24. 1722.
To the Author of the New-England Courant.
SIR, No XIII.
IN Perfons of a contemplative Difpofition, the moft
indifferent Things provoke the Exercife of the Imagination;
and the Satisfactions which often arife to them thereby, are
a certain Relief to the Labour of the Mind (when it has been
44 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
intenfely fix'd on more fubftantial Subjects) as well as to
that of the Body.
IN one of the late pleafant Moon-light Evenings, I fo far
indulg'd in my felf the Humour of the Town in walking
abroad, as to continue from my Lodgings two or three Hours
later than ufual, & was pleaf'd beyond Expectation before
my Return. Here I found various Company to obferve,
and various Difcourfe to attend to. I met indeed with the
common Fate of Lifteners, who hear no good of themfelves,)
but from a Confcioufnefs of my Innocence, receiv'd it with
a Satisfaction beyond what the Love of Flattery and the
Daubings of a Parafite could produce. The Company who
rally'd me were about Twenty in Number, of both Sexes;
and tho' the Confufion of Tongues (like that of Babel) which
always happens among fo many impetuous Talkers, render'd
their Difcourfe not fo intelligible as I could wifh, I learnt
thus much, That one of the Females pretended to know me,
from fome Difcourfe fhe had heard at a certain Houfe before
the Publication of one of my Letters ; adding, That I was a
Perjon 0} an ill Character, and kept a criminal Correjpondence
with a Gentleman who ajjisted me in Writing. One of the
Gallants clear'd me of this random Charge, by faying, That
tho' I wrote in the Character of a Woman, he knew me to be a
Man; But, continu'd he, he has more need of endeavouring a
Reformation in himfelf, than f pending his Wit in fatyrizing
others.
I HAD no fooner left this Set of Ramblers, but I met a
Crowd of Tarpolins and their Doxies, link'd to each other
by the Arms, who ran (by their own Account) after the Rate
of Six Knots an Hour, and bent their Courfe towards the
Common. Their eager and amorous Emotions of Body,
1722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 45
occafion'd by taking their Miftreffes in Tow, they call'd
wild Steerage: And as a Pair of them happen'd to trip and
come to the Ground, the Company were call'd upon to bring
to, for that Jack and Betty were founder' d. But this Fleet
were not lefs comical or irregular in their Progrefs than a
Company of Females I foon after came up with, who, by
throwing their Heads to the Right and Left, at every one who
pafs'd by them, I concluded came out with no other Defign
than to revive the Spirit of Love in Difappointed Batchelors,
and expofe themfelves to Sale to the firft Bidder.
BUT it would take up too much Room in your Paper to
mention all the Occafions of Diverfion I met with in this
Night's Ramble. As it grew later, I obferved, that many
penfive Youths with down looks and a flow Pace, would be
ever now and then crying out on the Cruelty of their Mif-
treffes; others with a more rapid Pace and chearful Air,
would be fwinging their Canes, and clapping their Cheeks,
and whifpering at certain Intervals, I'm certain I jhall have
her! This is more than I expected! How charmingly jhe
talks! &c.
UPON the whole I conclude, That our Night-Walkers
are a Set of People, who contribute very much to the Health
and Satisfaction of thofe who have been fatigu'd with Bufi-
nefs or Study, and occafionally obferve their pretty Geftures
and Impertinencies. But among Men of Bufinefs, the
Shoemakers, and other Dealers in Leather, are doubly oblig'd
to them, inafmuch as they exceedingly promote the Con-
f umption of their Ware : And I have heard of a Shoemaker,
who being ask'd by a noted Rambler, Whether he could tell
how long her Shoes would laft] very prettily anfwer'd, That
he knew how many Days jhe might wear them, but not how
46 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
many Nights; because they were then put to a more violent
and irregular Service than when jhe employed her jelf in the
common Affairs 0} the Houje.
I am, SIR,
Your Humble Servant,
SILENCE DOGOOD.
The [N 62
New-England Courant.
From Monday October i. to Monday October 8. 1722.
Earum caufarum quanta quoeque valeat, videamus. CICERO.
To the Author of the New-England Courant.
SIR, No. XIV.
IT often happens, that the mofs zealous Advocates for
any Caufe find themfelves difappointed in the firft Appear-
ance of Succefs in the Propagation of their Opinion ; and the
Difappointment appears unavoidable, when their eafy Profe-
lytes too fuddenly ftart into Extreams, and are immediately
fill'd with Arguments to invalidate their former Practice.
This creates a Sufpicion in the more confiderate Part of Man-
kind, that thofe who are thus given to Change, neither fear
God, nor honour the King. In Matters of Religion, he that
alters his Opinion on a religious Account, muft certainly go
thro' much Reading, hear many Arguments on both Sides,
and undergo many Struggles in his Confcience, before he
can come to a full Refolution: Secular Intereft will indeed
make quick Work with an immoral Man, efpecially if, not-
withftanding the Alteration of his Opinion, he can with any
Appearance of Credit retain his Immorality. But, by this
Turn of Thought I would not be fuspected of Uncharitable-
1722] THE DOGOOD PAPERS 47
nefs to thofe Clergymen at Connecticut, who have lately em-
brac'd the Eftablifh'd Religion of our Nation, fome of whom
I hear made their Profeffions with a Serioufnefs becoming
their Order: However, fince they have deny'd the Validity
of Ordination by the Hands of Prejbyters, and confequently
their Power of Administring the Sacraments, &c. we may
justly expect a fuitable Manifeftation of their Repentance
for invading the Priejts Office, and living fo long in a Corab-
like Rebellion. All I would endeavour to fhew is, That
an indifcreet Zeal for fpreading an Opinion, hurts the Caufe
of the Zealot. There are too many blind Zealots among every
Denomination of Chriftians; and he that propagates the
Gofpel among Rakes and Beaus without reforming them in
their Morals, is every whit as ridiculous and impolitick as a
Statesman who makes Tools of Ideots and Tale-Bearers.
Much to my prefent Purpofe are the Words of two In-
genious Authors of the Church of England, tho' in all Proba-
bility they were tainted with Whiggijh Principles;
'I would (fays one) have every zealous Man examine his
' Heart throughly, and, I believe, he will often find that what
'he calls a Zeal for his Religion, is either Pride, Intereft or
'Ill-nature. A Man who differs from another in Opinion
' f ets himf elf above him in his own Judgment, and in f everal
' Particulars pretends to be the wifer Perfon. This is a great
'Provocation to the Proud Man, and gives a keen Edge to
' what he calls his Zeal. And that this is the Cafe very often,
'we may obferve from the Behaviour of fome of the moft
'Zealous for Orthodoxy, who have often great Friendfhips
'and Intimacies with vicious immoral Men, provided they
' do but agree with them in the fame Scheme of Belief. The
' Reafon is, becaufe the vicious Believer gives the Precedency
48 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1722
'to the virtuous Man, and allows the good Christian to be
' the worthier Perf on, at the fame Time that he cannot come
'up to his Perfections. This we find exemplified hi that
'trite Paffage which we fee quoted in almoft every Syftem
'of Ethicks, tho' upon another Occafion;
Video meliore proboque
Deteriora fequor
' On the contrary, it is certain if our Zeal were true and genu-
'ine, we fhould be much more angry with a Sinner than a
'Heretick, fince there are feveral Cafes which may excufe
' the latter before his great Judge, but none which can excufe
' the former.
'I have (fays another) found by Experience, that it is im-
'poffible to talk diftinctly without defining the Words of
' which we make ufe. There is not a Term in our Language
'which wants Explanation fo much as the Word Church.
'One would think when People utter it, they fhould have in
' their Minds Ideas of Virtue and Religion ; but that impor-
'tant Monofyllable drags all the other Words in the Lan-
'guage after it, and it is made ufe of to exprefs both Praife
'and Blame, according to the Character of him who f peaks
'it. By this means it happens, that no one knows what his
'Neighbour means when he fays fuch a one is for or againft
'the Church. It has happen'd that he who is feen every
'Day at Church, has not been counted in the Eye of the
'World a Churchman; and he who is very zealous to oblige
'every one to frequent it but himfelf, has been a very good
' Son of the Church. This Prae-poffeffion is the beft Handle
'imaginable for Politicians to make ufe of, for managing the
'Loves and Hatreds of Mankind to the Purpofes to which
1723] EDITORIAL PREFACE 49
'they would lead them. But this is not a Thing for Fools
'to meddle with, for they only bring Dif esteem upon thofe
' whom they attempt to f erve, when they unf kilfully pronounce
'Terms of Art. I have obferved great Evils arife from this
' Practice, and not only the Cauf e of Piety, but alfo the f ecu-
'lar Intereft of Clergymen, has extreamly fuffered by the
'general unexplained Signification of the Word Church.'
1 am, SIR,
Your Humble Servant,
SILENCE DOGOOD.
4. EDITORIAL PREFACE (M.H.S.)
TO
THE NEW ENGLAND COURANT No. 80 *
Front Monday, February 4, to Monday, February n, 1723
The late Publisher of this Paper, finding so many Incon-
veniences would arise by his carrying the Manuscripts and
publick News to be supervis'd by the Secretary, as to render
1 " Boston : Printed and sold by Benjamin Franklin in Queen Street, where
Advertisements are taken in."
The Courant was conducted in such a reckless fashion by the Hell-fire
Qub that the Council declared that the tendency of the paper was to mock
religion, and to disturb the peace and good order of the Province. James
Franklin the publisher was therefore strictly forbidden " to print or publish
the New England Courant or any other pamphlet or paper of the like nature,
except it be first supervised by the Secretary of the Province." It was there-
upon decided that Benjamin Franklin should appear as the sole publisher.
His apprenticeship indentures were cancelled and new indentures were signed
and concealed. Under these circumstances he entered upon his first editorial
duties, and his introductory preface shows that the Courant had sustained no
loss by its change of management. ED.
VOL. II E
50 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1723
his carrying it on unprofitable, has intirely dropt the Under-
taking. The present Publisher having receiv'd the follow-
ing Piece, desires the Readers to accept of it as a Preface
to what they may hereafter meet with hi this Paper.
Non ego mordaci distrinxi Carmine quenquam
Nulla vonenato Litera onista Joco est.
Long has the Press groaned in bringing forth an hateful,
but numerous Brood of Party Pamphlets, malicious Scribbles,
and Billinsgate Ribaldry. The Rancour and bitterness it
has unhappily infused into Men's minds, and to what a
Degree it has sowred and leaven'd the Tempers of Persons
formerly esteemed some of the most sweet and affable, is
too well known here, to need any further Proof or Repre-
sentation of the Matter.
No generous and impartial Person then can blame the
present Undertaking, which is designed purely for the Diver-
sion and Merriment of the Reader, Pieces of Pleasancy
and Mirth have a secret Charm in them to allay the Heats
and Tumours of our Spirits, and to make a Man forget
his restless Resentments. They have a strange Power to
tune the harsh Disorders of the Soul, and reduce us to a
serene and placid State of Mind.
The main Design of this Weekly Paper will be to enter-
tain the Town with the most comical and diverting Inci-
dents of Humane Life, which in so large a Place as Boston
will not fail of a universal Exemplification: Nor shall we
be wanting to fill up these Papers with a grateful Inter-
spersion of more serious Morals which may be drawn from
the most ludicrous and odd Parts of Life.
As for the Author, that is the next Question. But tho'
1723] EDITORIAL PREFACE 51
we profess ourselves ready to oblige the ingenious and cour-
teous Reader with most Sorts of Intelligence, yet here we
beg a Reserve. Nor will it be of any Manner of Advantage
either to them or to the Writers, that their names should
be published; and therefore in this Matter we desire the
Favour of you to suffer us to hold our Tongues: Which
tho' at this Time of Day it may sound like a very uncommon
Request, yet it proceeds from the very Hearts of your Humble
Servants.
By this Time the Reader perceives that more than one
are engaged in the present Undertaking. Yet is there one
Person, an Inhabitant of this Town of Boston, whom we
honour as a Doctor in the Chair, or a perpetual Dictator.
The Society had design'd to present the Publick with his
Effigies, but that the Limner, to whom he was presented for
a Draught of his Countenance, descryed (and this he is
ready to offer upon Oath) Nineteen Features in his Face,
more than ever he beheld in any Humane Visage before;
which so raised the Price of his Picture, that our Master
himself forbid the Extravagance of coming up to it. And
then besides, the Limner objected a Schism in his face,
which splits it from his Forehead in a strait Line down to
his chin, in such sort, that Mr.. Painter protests it is a double
Face, and he'll have Four Pounds for the Pourtraiture.
However, tho' this double Face has spoilt us of a pretty
Picture, yet we all rejoiced to see old Janus in our Company.
There is no Man in Boston better qualified than old
Janus for a Couranteer, or if you please, an Observator,
being a Man of such remarkable Opticks, as to look two
ways at once.
As for his Morals, he is a chearly Christian, as the Country
52 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1725
Phrase expresses it. A Man of good Temper, courteous
Deportment, sound Judgment ; a mortal Hater of Nonsense,
Foppery, Formality, and endless Ceremony.
As for his club, they aim at no greater Happiness or Hon-
our, than the Publick be made to know, that it is the utmost
of their Ambition to attend upon and do all imaginable
good Offices to good old Janus the Couranteer, who is and
always will be the Readers humble Servant.
P.S. Gentle Readers, we design never to let a Paper
pass without a Latin Motto if we can possibly pick one up,
which carries a Charm in it to the Vulgar, and the learned
admire the pleasure of Construing. We should have
obliged the World with a Greek scrap or two, but the Printer
has no Types, and therefore we intreat the candid Reader
not to impute the defect to our Ignorance, for our Doctor
can say all the Greek Letters by heart.
5. TO SIR HANS SLOANE' (B. M.)
[London] June 2, 1725
Having lately been in the Nothern (sic) Parts of America
I have brought from thence a Purse made of the Stone As-
bestus, a Piece of the Stone, and a Piece of Wood, the Pithy
Part of which is of the same Nature, and call'd by the In-
1 First printed in the Gentleman's Magazine, September, 1780. The
original is in the Sloane Collection, British Museum (SI. 4047, f. 347).
Franklin refers to this asbestos purse in his autobiography; he says: "Sir
Hans Sloane came to see me, and invited me to his house in Bloomsbury
Square, showed me all his curiosities and persuaded me to add that to the
number ; for which he paid me handsomely." From this letter it would
appear that Franklin required but little persuasion. ED.
1726] VOYAGE FROM LONDON TO PHILADELPHIA 53
habitants, Salamander Cotton. As you are noted to be a
Lover of Curiosities, I have inform'd you of these; and if
you have any Inclination to purchase them, or see 'em, let
me know your Pleasure by a Line directed for me at the
Golden Fan in Little Britain, and I will wait upon you with
them. I am, Sir
Your most humble Servant
Benjamin Franklin
P.S. I expect to be out of Town in 2 or 3 Days, and
therefore beg an immediate Answer:
6. JOURNAL OF A VOYAGE FROM LONDON
TO PHILADELPHIA 1 (L.C.)
Journal of Occurrences in my Voyage to Philadelphia on board the
Berkshire, Henry Clark, Master, from London
Friday, July 2id, 1726. Yesterday in the afternoon we
left London, and came to an anchor off Gravesend about
eleven at night. I lay ashore all night, and this morning
took a walk up to the Windmill Hill, from whence I had an
agreeable prospect of the country for above twenty miles
round, and two or three reaches of the river, with ships and
boats sailing both up and down, and Tilbury Fort on the
other side, which commands the river and passage to London.
This Gravesend is a cursed biting place; the chief depend-
ence of the people being the advantage they make of impos-
ing upon strangers. If you buy anything of them, and give
half what they ask, you pay twice as much as the thing is
worth. Thank God, we shall leave it to-morrow.
1 From a transcript in the Library of Congress.
54 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1726
Saturday, July 23. This day we weighed anchor and
fell down with the tide, there being little or no wind. In
the afternoon we had a fresh gale, that brought us down to
Margate, where we shall lie at anchor this night. Most of
the passengers are very sick. Saw several porpoisies, &c.
Sunday, July 24th. This morning we weighed anchor,
and coming to the Downs, we set our pilot ashore at Deal,
and passed through. And now, whilst I write this, sitting
upon the quarterdeck, I have methinks one of the pleasant-
est scenes in the world before me. 'Tis a fine, clear day,
and we are going away before the wind with an easy, pleasant
gale. We have near fifteen sail of ships in sight, and I may
say in company. On the left hand appears the coast of
France at a distance, and on the right is the town and castle
of Dover, with the green hills and chalky cliffs of England,
to which we must now bid farewell. Albion, farewell !
Monday, July 25. All the morning calm. After noon
sprung up a gale at East ; blew very hard all night. Saw
the isle of Wight at a distance.
Tuesday, July 26th. Contrary winds all day, blowing
pretty hard. Saw the Isle of Wight again in the evening.
Wednesday, July 27. This morning, the wind blowing
very hard at West, we stood in for the land, in order to make
some harbour. About noon we took on board a pilot out
of a fishing shallop, who brought the ship into Spithead, off
Portsmouth. The captain, Mr. Denham, and myself went
on shore, and, during the little time we stayed, I made some
observations on the place.
Portsmouth has a fine harbour. The entrance is so nar-
row, that you may throw a stone from Fort to Fort; yet it
is near ten fathom deep, and bold close to ; but within there
1726] VOYAGE FROM LONDON TO PHILADELPHIA 55
is room enough for five hundred, or, for aught I know, a
thousand sail of ships. The town is strongly fortified,
being encompassed with a high wall and a deep and broad
ditch, and two gates, that are entered over drawbridges;
besides several forts, batteries of large cannon, and other
outworks, the names of which I know not, nor had I time
to take so strict a view as to be able to describe them. In
war time, the town has a garrison of 10,000 men; but at
present 'tis only manned by about 100 Invalids. Notwith-
standing the English have so many fleets of men-of-war at
sea at this time, 1 I counted in this harbour above thirty
sail of 2nd, 3rd, and 4th Rates, that lay by unrigged, but
easily fitted out upon occasion, all their masts and rigging
lying marked and numbered in storehouses at hand. The
King's yards and docks employ abundance of men, who,
even in peace time, are constantly building and refitting
men-of-war for the King's Service.
Gosport lies opposite to Portsmouth, and is near as big,
if not bigger; but, except the fort at the mouth of the har-
bour, and a small outwork before the main street of the
town, it is only defended by a mud wall, which surrounds
it, and a trench or dry ditch of about ten feet depth and
breadth. Portsmouth is a place of very little trade in peace
time; it depending chiefly on fitting out men-of-war. Spit-
head is the place where the Fleet commonly anchor, and is
a very good riding-place. The people of Portsmouth tell
strange stories of the severity of one Gibson? who was gov-
1 One gone to the Baltic, one to the Mediterranean, and one to the W.
Indies.
2 Sir John Gibson (1637-1717) was lieutenant-governor of Portsmouth,
1689-1717. ED.
56 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1726
ernor of this place in the Queen's time, to his soldiers, and
show you a miserable dungeon by the town gate, which they
call Johnny Gibson's Hole, where, for trifling misdemeanors,
he used to confine his soldiers till they were almost starved
to death. It is a common maxim, that, without severe dis-
cipline, 'tis impossible to govern the licentious rabble of
soldiery. I own, indeed, that if a commander finds he has
not those qualities in him that will make him beloved by his
people, he ought, by all means, to make use of such methods
as will make them fear him, since one or the other (or both)
is absolutely necessary; but Alexander and Caesar, those
renowned generals, received more faithful service, and per-
formed greater actions, by means of the love their soldiers
bore them, than they could possibly have done, if, instead of
being beloved and respected, they had been hated and
feared by those they commanded.
Thursday, July 28. This morning we came on board,
having lain on shore all night. We weighed anchor and
with a moderate gale, stood in for Cowes, in the Isle of
Wight, and came to an anchor before the town about eleven
o'clock. Six of the passengers went on shore, and diverted
themselves till about 12 at night; and then got a boat, and
came on board again, expecting to sail early in the morning.
Friday, July 29. But the wind continuing adverse still,
we went ashore again this morning, and took a walk to New-
port, which is about four miles distant from Cowes, and is
the metropolis of the island. Thence we walked to Caris-
brooke, about a mile further, out of curiosity to see that
castle, which King Charles the First was confined in; and
so returned to Cowes in the afternoon, and went on board
in expectation of sailing.
1726] VOYAGE FROM LONDON TO PHILADELPHIA 57
Cowes is but a small town, and lies close to the seaside,
pretty near opposite to Southampton on the main shore
of England. It is divided into two parts by a small river
that runs up within a quarter of a mile of Newport, and is
distinguished by East and West Cowes. There is a fort
built in an oval form, on which there are eight or ten guns
mounted for the defence of the road. They have a post-
office, a custom-house, and a chappel of ease. And a good
harbour for ships to ride in in easterly and westerly winds.
All this afternoon I spent agreeably enough at the draft-
board. It is a game I much delight in; but it requires a
clear head, and undisturbed; and the persons playing, if
they would play well, ought not much to regard the con-
sequence of the game, for that diverts and withdraws the
attention of the mind from the game itself, and makes the
player liable to make many false open moves; and I will
venture to lay it down for an infallible rule, that, if two per-
sons equal in judgment play for a considerable sum, he that
loves money most shall lose; his anxiety for the success of
the game confounds him. Courage is almost as requisite
for the good conduct of this game as in a real battle; for,
if the player imagines himself opposed by one that is much
his superior in skill, his mind is so intent on the defensive
part, that an advantage passes unobserved.
Newport makes a pretty prospect enough from the hills
that surround it ; (for it lies down in a bottom). The houses
are beautifully intermixed with trees, and a tall, old-fashioned
steeple rises in the midst of the town, which is very orna-
mental to it. .The name of the church I could not learn;
but there is a very neat market-house, paved with square
stone, and consisting of eleven arches. There are several
58 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1726
pretty handsome streets, and many well-built houses and
shops, well stored with goods. But I think Newport is
chiefly remarkable for oysters, which they send to London
and other places, where they are very much esteemed, being
thought the best in England. The oyster-merchants fetch
them, as I am informed, from other places, and lay them
upon certain beds in the river (the water of which is it seems
excellently adapted for that purpose) a-fattening; and when
they have lain a suitable time they are taken up again, and
made fit for sale.
When we came to Carisbrooke, which, as I said before,
is a little village about a mile beyond Newport, we took a
view of an ancient church that had formerly been a priory
in Romish times, and is the first church, or the mother-
church, of the island. It is an elegant building, after the
old Gothic manner, with a very high tower, and looks very
venerable in its ruins. There are several ancient monu-
ments about it; but the stone of which they are composed
is of such a soft, crumbling nature, that the inscriptions are
none of them legible. Of the same stone are almost all the
tombstones, &c., that I observed in the island.
From this church, (having crossed over the brook that
gives the name to the village, and got a little boy for a guide,)
we went up a very steep hill, through several narrow lanes
and avenues, till we came to the castle gate. We entered
over the ditch (which is now almost filled up, partly by the
ruins of the mouldering walls that have tumbled into it,
and partly by the washing down of the earth from the hill
by the rains,) upon a couple of brick arches, where I suppose
formerly there was a drawbridge. An old woman who lives
in the castle, seeing us strangers walk about, sent and offered
1726] VOYAGE FROM LONDON TO PHILADELPHIA 59
to show us the rooms if we pleased, which we accepted.
This castle, as she informed us, has for many years been
the seat of the governors of the island; and the rooms and
hall, which are very large and handsome, with high, arched
roofs, have all along been kept handsomely furnished, every
succeeding governor buying the furniture of his predecessor ;
but, Cadogan, the last governor, who succeeded General
Webb, 1 refusing to purchase it, Webb stripped it clear of all,
even the hangings, and left nothing but bare walls. The
floors are several of them of plaster of Paris, the art of
making which, the woman told us, was now lost.
The castle stands upon a very high and steep hill, and
there are the remains of a deep ditch round it; the walls
are thick, and seemingly well contrived; and certainly it
has been a very strong hold in its time, at least before the
invention of great guns. There are several breaches in the
ruinous walls, which are never repaired, (I suppose they are
purposely neglected,) and the ruins are almost everywhere
overspread with ivy. It is divided into the lower and the
upper castle, the lower enclosing the upper, which is of a
round form, and stands upon a promontory, to which you
must ascend by near an hundred stone steps; this upper
castle was designed for a retreat in case the lower castle
should be won, and is the least ruinous of any part except
the stairs before mentioned, which are so broken and decayed,
that I was almost afraid to come down again when I was
up, they being but narrow, and no rails to hold by.
From the battlements of this upper castle, (which they
1 General John Richmond Webbe was governor of the Isle of Wight
August 1710 to September 1716. He was succeeded by William, first Earl
Cadogan. ED.
60 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1726
call the Coop,) you have a fine prospect of the greatest part
of the island, of the sea on one side, of Cowes road at a dis-
tance, and of Newport as it were just below you. There is
a well in the middle of the Coop, which they called the bot-
tomless well, because of its great depth; but it is now half
filled up with stones and rubbish, and is covered with two
or three loose planks; yet a stone, as we tried, is near a
quarter of a minute in falling before you hear it strike. But
the well that supplies the inhabitants at present with water
is in the lower castle, and is thirty fathoms deep. They
draw their water with a great wheel, and with a bucket that
holds near a barrel. It makes a great sound if you speak in
it, and echoed the flute which we played over it very sweetly.
There are but seven pieces of ordnance mounted upon the
walls, and those in no very good order; and the old man,
who is the gunner and keeper of the castle, and who sells
ale in a little house at the gate, has in his possession but
six muskets, (which hang up at his wall) and one of them
wants a lock. He told us that the castle, which had now
been built 1203 years, was first founded by one Whitgert,
a Saxon, who conquered the island, and that it was called
Whitgertsburg for many ages.
That particular piece of building, which King Charles
lodged in during his confinement here, is suffered to go en-
tirely to ruin, there being nothing standing but the walls.
The island is about sixty miles in circumference, and pro-
duces plenty of corn and other provisions, and wool as fine
as Cotswold; its militia having the credit of equalling the
soldiery, and being the best disciplined in England.
was once, in King William's time, entrusted with the govern-
ment of this island. At his death it appeared he was a great
1726] VOYAGE FROM LONDON TO PHILADELPHIA 61
villain, and a great politician; there was no crime so dam-
nable which he would stick at in the execution of his designs,
and yet he had the art of covering all so thick, that with
almost all men in general, while he lived, he passed for a
saint. What surprized me was, that the silly old fellow, the
keeper of the castle, who remembered him governor, should
have so true a notion of his character as I perceived he had.
In short, I believe it is impossible for a man, though he has
all the cunning of a devil, to live and die a villain, and yet
conceal it so well as to carry the name of an honest fellow to
the grave with him, but some one, by some accident or other,
shall discover him. Truth and sincerity have a certain dis-
tinguishing native lustre about them, which cannot be per-
fectly counterfeited ; they are like fire and flame, that cannot
be painted.
The whole castle was repaired and beautified by Queen
Elizabeth, and strengthened by a breastwork all round with-
out the walls, as appears by this inscription in one or two
places upon it.
Saturday, July y>th. This morning about eight o'clock
we weighed anchor, and turned to windward till we came to
Yarmouth, another little town upon this island, and there
cast anchor again, the wind blowing hard, and still westerly.
Yarmouth is a smaller town than Cowes ; yet, the buildings
being better, it makes a handsomer prospect at a distance,
and the streets are clean and neat. There is one monu-
ment in the church, which the inhabitants are very proud
62 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1726
of, and which we went to see. It was erected to the memory
of Sir Robert Holmes, 1 who had formerly been governor of
the island. It is his statue in armour, somewhat bigger
than the life, standing on his tomb, with a truncheon in his
hand, between two pillars of porphyry. Indeed, all the
marble about it is very fine and good; and they say it was
designed by the French King for his palace at Versailles, but
was cast away upon this island, and by Sir Robert himself
hi his lifetime applied to this use, and that the whole monu-
ment was finished long before he died ; (though not fixed up
in that place) the inscription likewise, (which is very much to
his honour), being written by himself. One would think
either that he had no defect at all, or had a very ill opinion
of the world, seeing he was so careful to make sure of
a monument to record his good actions and transmit them
to posterity.
Having taken a view of the church, town, and fort, on
which there are seven large guns mounted, three of us took
a walk up further into the island; and, having gone about
two miles, we headed a creek that runs up one end of the
town, and then went to Freshwater Church, about a mile
nearer the town, but on the other side of the creek. Having
stayed here some time it grew dark, and my companions
were desirous to be gone, lest those whom we had left drink-
ing where we dined in the town should go on board and
leave us. We were told, that it was our best way to go strait
down to the mouth of the creek, and that there was a ferry
1 Sir Robert Holmes (1622-1692) was governor of the Isle of Wight from
1668 to his death. For a description of the monument and a copy of the
inscription upon it see Rev. Thomas Pocock, " Memoirs relating to the Lord
Torrington," Camden Society, Vol. XLVI, p. 1 80. ED.
1726] VOYAGE FROM LONDON TO PHILADELPHIA 63
boy that would carry us over to the town. But when we
came to the house the lazy whelp was in bed, and refused to
rise and put us over; upon which we went down to the
water-side, with a design to take his boat, and go over by
ourselves. We found it very difficult to get the boat, it
being fastened to a stake, and the tide risen near fifty yards
beyond it; I stripped all to my shirt to wade up to it; but
missing the causeway, which was under water, I got up to
my middle in mud. At last I came to the stake; but, to
my great disappointment, found she was locked and chained.
I endeavoured to draw the staple with one of the thole-pins,
but in vain ; I tried to pull up the stake, but to no purpose ;
so that, after an hour's fatigue and trouble hi the wet and
mud, I was forced to return without the boat.
We had no money hi our pockets, and therefore began to
conclude to pass the night in some haystack, though the
wind blew very cold and very hard. In the midst of these
troubles one of us recollected that he had a horse-shoe in
his pocket, which he found in his walk, and asked me if I
could not wrench the staple out with that. I took it, went,
tried, and succeeded, and brought the boat ashore to them.
Now we rejoiced and all got in, and, when I had dressed
myself, we put off. But the worst of all our troubles was to
come yet ; for, it being high water and the tide over all the
banks, though it was moonlight we could not discern the
channel of the creek; but, rowing heedlessly straight for-
ward, when we were got about half way over, we found our-
selves aground on a mud bank ; and, striving to row her off
by putting our oars in the mud, we broke one and there
stuck fast, not having four inches water. We were now in
the utmost perplexity, not knowing what in the world to do ;
64 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1726
we could not tell whether the tide was rising or falling ; but
at length we plainly perceived it was ebb, and we could feel
no deeper water within the reach of our oar.
It was hard to lie in an open boat all night exposed to the
wind and weather ; but it was worse to think how foolish we
should look in the morning, when the owner of the boat
should catch us in that condition, where we must be exposed
to the view of all the town. After we had strove and strug-
gled for half an hour and more, we gave all over, and sat
down with our hands before us, despairing to get off; for,
if the tide had left us, we had been never the nearer; we
must have sat in the boat, as the mud was too deep for us
to walk ashore through it, being up to our necks. At last
we bethought ourselves of some means of escaping, and two
of us stripped and got out, and thereby lightening the boat,
we drew her upon our knees near fifty yards into deeper
water ; and then with much ado, having but one oar, we got
safe ashore under the fort; and, having dressed ourselves
and tied the man's boat, we went with great joy to the Queen's
Head, where we left our companions, whom we found wait-
ing for us, though it was very late. Our boat being gone
on board, we were obliged to lie ashore all night; and thus
ended our walk.
Sunday, July 31 : This morning the wind being mod-
erated, our pilot designed to weigh, and, taking advantage
of the tide, get a little further to windward. Upon which
the boat came ashore, to hasten us on board. We had no
sooner returned and hoisted in our boat, but the wind began
again to blow very hard at west, insomuch that, instead of
going any further, we were obliged to weigh and run down
again to Cowes for the sake of more secure riding, where
1726] VOYAGE FROM LONDON TO PHILADELPHIA 65
we came to an anchor again in a very little time; and the
pudding, which our mess made and put into the pot at Yar-
mouth, we dined upon at Cowes.
Monday, August ist. This morning all the vessels in
the harbour put out their colours in honour of the day, and
it made a very pretty appearance. The wind continuing to
blow hard westerly, our mess resolved to go on shore, though
all our loose corks were gone already. We took with us
some goods to dispose of, and walked to Newport to make
our market, where we sold for three shillings in the pound
less than the prime cost in London; and, having dined at
Newport, we returned in the evening to Cowes, and con-
cluded to lodge on shore.
Tuesday, August 2d. This day we passed on shore,
diverting ourselves as well as we could ; and, the wind con-
tinuing still westerly, we stayed on shore this night also.
Wednesday, August $d. This morning we were hurried
on board, having scarce time to dine, weighed anchor, and
stood away for Yarmouth again, though the wind is still
westerly; but, meeting with a hoy when we were near half-
way there, that had some goods on board for us to take in,
we tacked about for Cowes, and came to anchor there a
third time, about four in the afternoon.
Thursday, August 4. Stayed on board till about five in
the afternoon, and then went on shore and stopped all
night.
Friday, August 5. Called up this morning and hurried
aboard, the wind being Northwest. About noon we weighed
and left Cowes a third time, and, sailing by Yarmouth, we
came into the channel through the Needles; which passage
is guarded by Hurst Castle, standing on a spit of Land
VOL. II F
66 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1726
which runs out from the main land of England within a
mile of the Isle of Wight. Towards night the wind veered
to the Westward, which put us under apprehensions of
being forced into port again: but presently after it fell a
flat calm, and then we had a small breeze that was fair for
half an hour, when it was succeeded by a calm again.
Saturday, August 6. This morning we had a fair breeze
for some hours, and then a calm that lasted all day. In the
afternoon I leaped overboard and swam round the ship to
wash myself. Saw several porpoises this day. About eight
o'Clock we came to an anchor in forty fathom water against
the tide of flood, somewhere below Portland, and weighed
again about eleven, having a small breeze.
Sunday, August 7. Gentle breezes all this day. Spoke
with a ship, the Ruby, bound for London from Nevis, off
the Start of Plymouth. This afternoon spoke with Captain
Homans in a ship bound for Boston, who came out of the
river when we did, and had been beating about in the chan-
nel all the time we lay at Cowes in the Wight.
Monday, August 8. Fine weather, but no wind worth
mentioning, all this day ; in the afternoon saw the Lizard.
Tuesday, August 9. Took our leave of the land this
morning. Calms the fore part of the day. In the after-
noon a small gale; fair. Saw a Grampus.
Wednesday, August loth. Wind N. W. Course S. W.
about four Knots. By observation in latitude 48 50'.
Nothing remarkable happened.
Thursday, August nth. Nothing remarkable. Fresh
gale all day.
Friday, August 12; Saturday, 13; Sunday, 14. Calms
and fair breezes alternately.
1726] VOYAGE FROM LONDON TO PHILADELPHIA 67
Monday, 15; Tuesday, 16; Wednesday, 17. No con-
trary winds, but calm and fair breezes alternately.
Thursday, August 18. Four dolphins followed the ship
for some hours; we struck at them with the fizgig, but took
none.
Friday, August 19. This day we have had a pleasant
breeze at East. In the morning we spied a sail upon our
larboard bow, about two leagues' distance. About noon
she put out English colours, and we answered with our en-
sign, and in the afternoon we spoke with her. She was a
ship, of New York, Walter Kippen, master, bound from
Rochelle, in France, to Boston, with salt. Our captain
and Mr. D went on board, and stayed till evening, it
being fine weather. Yesterday, complaints being made that
Mr. G n, one of the passengers, had, with a fraudulent
design, marked the cards, a court of justice was called im-
mediately, and he was brought to his trial in form. A
Dutchman, who could speak no English, deposed by his
interpreter that, when our mess was on shore at Cowes, the
prisoner at the bar marked all the Court cards on the back
with a pen.
I have sometimes observed, that we are apt to fancy the
person that cannot speak intelligibly to us, proportionably
stupid in understanding, and, when we speak two or three
words of English to a foreigner, it is louder than ordinary,
as if we thought him deaf, and that he had lost the use of his
ears as well as his tongue. Something like this I imagine
might be the case of Mr. G n; he fancied the Dutch-
man could not see what he was about, because he could not
understand English, and therefore boldly did it before his
face.
68 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN" FRANKLIN [1726
The evidence was plain and positive; the prisoner could
not deny the fact, but replied in his defence, that the cards
he marked were not those we commonly played with, but an
imperfect pack, which he afterwards gave to the cabbin-boy.
The attorney-general observed to the court, that it was not
likely he should take the pains to mark the cards without
some ill design, or some further intention than just to give
them to the boy when he had done, who understood nothing
at all of cards. But another evidence being called deposed
that he saw the prisoner in the main-top one day, when he
thought himself unobserved, marking a pack of cards on
the backs, some with the print of a dirty thumb, others with
the top of his finger, &c. Now, there being but two packs
on board, and the prisoner having just confessed the marking
of one, the Court perceived the case was plain. In fine the
jury brought him in guilty, and he was condemned to be
carried up to the round-top, and made fast there, in view of
all the ship's company, during the space of three hours, that
being the place where the act was committed, and to pay a
fine of two bottles of brandy. But the prisoner resisting
authority and refusing to submit to punishment, one of the
sailors stepped up aloft and let down a rope to us, which
we, with much struggling, made fast about his middle, and
hoisted him up into the air, sprawling, by main force. We
let him hang, cursing and swearing, for near a quarter of
an hour ; but at length, he crying out Murder ! and looking
black in the face, the rope being overtort about his middle,
we thought proper to let him down again; and our mess
have excommunicated him till he pays his fine, refusing
either to play, eat, drink, or converse with him.
Saturday, August 2oth. We shortened sail all last night
1726] VOYAGE FROM LONDON TO PHILADELPHIA 69
and all this day, to keep company with the other ship. About
noon Captain Kippen and one of his passengers came on
board and dined with us; they stayed till evening. When
they were gone, we made sail and left them.
Sunday, August 21 st. This morning we lost sight of
the Yorker, having a brisk gale of wind at East. Towards
night a poor little bird came on board us, being almost tired
to death, and suffered itself to be taken by the hand. We
reckon ourselves near two hundred leagues from land, so
that no doubt a little rest was very acceptable to the un-
fortunate wanderer, who, 't is like, was blown off the coast
in thick weather, and could not find its way back again.
We receive it hospitably, and tender it victuals and drink;
but he refuses both, and I suppose will not live long. There
was one came on board some days ago, in the same circum-
stances with this, which I think the cat destroyed.
Monday, August 22d. This morning I saw several fly-
ing-fish, but they were small. A favorable wind all day.
Tuesday, August 23 ; Wednesday, 24. Fair winds, noth-
ing remarkable.
Thursday, August 25. Our excommunicated shipmate
thinking proper to comply with the sentence the court passed
upon him, and expressing .himself willing to pay the fine,
we have this morning received him into unity again. Man
is a sociable being, and it is, for aught I know, one of the
worst of punishments to be excluded from Society. I have
read abundance of fine things on the subject of solitude,
and I know 't is a common boast in the mouths of those that
affect to be thought wise, that they are never less alone than
when alone. I acknowledge solitude an agreeable refresh-
ment to a busy mind ; but were these thinking people obliged
70 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1726
to be always alone, I am apt to think they would quickly
find their very being insupportable to them. I have heard
of a gentleman, who underwent seven years' close confine-
ment, in the Bastile, at Paris. He was a man of sense, he
was a thinking man, but being deprived of all conversation,
to what purpose should he think; for he was denied even
the instruments of expressing his thoughts in writing. There
is no burden so grievous to man as time that he knows not
how to dispose of. He was forced at last to have recourse
to this invention; he daily scattered pieces of paper about
the floor of his little room, and then employed himself in
picking them up again and sticking them in rows and figures
on the arm of his elbow-chair ; and he used to tell his friends,
after his release, that he verily believed, if he had not taken
this method he should have lost his senses. One of the
philosophers, I think it was Plato, used to say, that he had
rather be the veriest stupid block in nature, than the pos-
sessor of all knowledge without some intelligent being to
communicate it to.
What I have said may in a measure account for some
particulars in my present way of living here on board. Our
company is in general very unsuitably mixed, to keep up
the pleasure and spirit of conversation: and, if there are
one or two pair of us that can sometimes entertain one an-
other for half an hour agreeably, yet perhaps we are seldom
in the humour for it together. I rise in the morning and
read for an hour or two, perhaps, and then reading grows
tiresome. Want of exercise occasions want of appetite, so
that eating and drinking afford but little pleasure. I tire
myself with playing at Draughts, then I go to cards; nay,
there is no play so trifling or childish, but we fly to it for
1726] VOYAGE FROM LONDON TO PHILADELPHIA 71
entertainment. A contrary wind, I know not how, puts us
all out of good humour; we grow sullen, silent, and re-
served, and fret at each other upon every little occasion.
'T is a common opinion among the ladies, that if a man is
ill-natured he infallibly discovers it when he is in liquor.
But I who have known many instances to the contrary,
will teach them a more effectual method to discover the
natural temper and disposition of their humble servants.
Let the ladies make one long sea-voyage with them, and, if
they have the least spark of ill-nature in them, and conceal
it to the end of the voyage, I will forfeit all my pretensions
to their favour. The wind continues fair.
Friday, August 26. The wind and weather fair till
night came on ; and then the wind came about, and we had
hard squalls, with rain and lightning, till morning.
Saturday, August 27. Cleared up this morning, and the
wind settled westerly. Two dolphins followed us this after-
noon; we hooked one, and struck the other with the fizgig;
but they both escaped us, and we saw them no more.
Sunday, August 28. The wind still continues westerly,
and blows hard. We are under a reefed mainsail and foresail.
Monday, August 29. Wind still hard west. Two dol-
phins followed us this day; we struck at them, but they
both escaped.
Tuesday, August 30. Contrary wind still. This even-
ing, the moon being near full, as she rose after eight o'clock,
there appeared a rainbow in a western cloud, to windward
of us. The first time I ever saw a rainbow hi the night,
caused by the moon.
Wednesday, August 31. Wind still west; nothing
remarkable.
72 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1726
Thursday, Sept. i. Bad weather, and contrary winds.
Friday, Sept. 2. This morning the wind changed ; a
little fair. We caught a couple of dolphins, and fried them
for dinner. They eat indifferent well. These fish make
a glorious appearance in the water; their bodies are of a
bright green, mixed with a silver colour, and their tails of
a shining golden yellow; but all this vanishes presently
after they are taken out of their element, and they change
all over to a light gray. I observed that cutting off pieces of
a just-caught, living dolphin for baits, those pieces did not
lose their lustre and fine colours when the dolphin died, but
retained them perfectly. Every one takes notice of that
vulgar error of the painters, who always represent this fish
monstrously crooked and deformed, when it is, in reality, as
beautiful and well-shaped a fish as any that swims. I cannot
think what could be the original of this chimera of theirs,
(since there is not a creature in nature that in the least re-
sembles their dolphin) unless it proceeded at first from a
false imitation of a fish in the posture of leaping, which they
have since improved into a crooked monster, with a head
and eyes like a bull, a hog's snout, and a tail like a blown
tulip. But the sailors give me another reason though a
whimsical one, viz. that as this most beautiful fish is only
to be caught at sea, and that very far to the Southward,
they say the painters wilfully deform it in their representa-
tions, lest pregnant women should long for what it is impos-
sible to procure for them.
Saturday, September 3 ; Sunday, 4 ; Monday, 5. Wind
still westerly; nothing remarkable.
Tuesday, Sept. 6. This afternoon the wind still con-
tinuing hi the same quarter, increased till it blew a storm,
1726] VOYAGE FROM LONDON TO PHILADELPHIA 73
and raised the sea to a greater height than I had ever seen
it before.
Wednesday, Sept. 7. The wind is somewhat abated,
but the sea is very high still. A dolphin kept us company
all this afternoon; we struck at him several times, but
could not take him.
Thursday, Sept. 8. This day nothing remarkable has
happened, but I am so indolent that Contrary wind.
Friday, Sept. 9. This afternoon we took four large dol-
phins, three with a hook and line, and the fourth we struck
with a fizgig. The bait was a candle with two feathers
stuck in it, one on each side, in imitation of a flying-fish,
which are the common prey of the dolphins. They ap-
peared extremely eager and hungry, and snapped up the
hook as soon as ever it touched the water. When we came
to open them, we found in the belly of one a small dolphin,
half-digested. Certainly they were half-famished, or are
naturally very savage, to devour those of their own species.
Saturday, Sept. 10. This day we dined upon the dol-
phins we caught yesterday, three of them sufficing the whole
ship, being twenty-one persons.
Sunday, Sept. n. We have had a hard gale of wind all
this day, accompanied with showers of rain. 'T is uncom-
fortable being upon deck; and, though we have been all
together all day below, yet the long continuance of these
contrary winds has made us so dull, that scarce three words
have passed between us.
Monday, Sept. 12; Tuesday, 13. Nothing remarkable;
wind contrary.
Wednesday, Sept. 14. This afternoon, about two o'clock,
it being fair weather and almost calm, as we sat playing
74 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1726
drafts upon deck, we were surprized with a sudden and
unusual darkness of the sun, which, as we could perceive,
was only covered with a small, thin cloud; when that was
passed by, we discovered that that glorious luminary la-
boured under a very great eclipse. At least ten parts out
of twelve of him were hid from our eyes, and we were
apprehensive he would have been totally darkened.
Thursday, Sept. 15. For a week past, we have fed our-
selves with the hopes, that the change of the moon (which
was yesterday) would bring us a fair wind; but, to our
great mortification and disappointment, the wind seems now
settled in the westward, and shows as little signs of an alter-
ation as it did a fortnight ago.
Friday, Sept. 16. Calm all this day. This morning
we saw a Tropic bird, which flew round our vessel several
times. It is a white fowl, with short wings ; but one feather
appears in his tail, and does not fly very fast. We reckon
ourselves about half our voyage ; latitude 38 and odd minutes.
These birds are said never to be seen further north than the
latitude of 40.
Saturday, September 17. All the forenoon the calm con-
tinued ; the rest of the day some light breezes easterly ; and
we are in great hopes the wind will settle in that quarter.
Sunday, September 18. We have had the finest weather
imaginable all this day, accompanied with what is still more
agreeable, a fair wind. Every one puts on a clean shirt
and a cheerful countenance, and we begin to |be very good
company. Heaven grant that this favourable gale may con-
tinue! for we have had so much of turning to windward,
that the word helm-a-lee is become almost as disagreeable to
our ears as the sentence of a judge to a convicted malefactor.
1726] VOYAGE FROM LONDON TO PHILADELPHIA 75
Monday, September 19. The weather looks a little un-
certain, and we begin to fear the loss of our fair wind. We
see Tropic birds every day, sometimes five or six together;
they are about as big as pigeons.
Tuesday, September 20. The wind is now westerly
again, to our great mortification; and we are come to an
allowance of bread, two biscuits and a half a day.
Wednesday, Sept. 21. This morning our steward was
brought to the geers and whipped, for making an extrava-
gant use of flour in the puddings, and for several other mis-
demeanors. It has been perfectly calm all this day, and
very hot. I was determined to wash myself in the sea
to-day, and should have done so, had not the appearance of
a Shark, that mortal enemy to swimmers, deterred me; he
seemed to be about five foot long, moves round the ship at
some distance, in a slow, majestic manner, attended by near
a dozen of those they call Pilot-fish, of different sizes; the
largest of them is not so big as a small mackerell, and the
smallest not bigger than my little finger. Two of these
diminutive Pilots keep just before his nose, and he seems
to govern himself in his motions by their direction; while
the rest surround him on every side indifferently. A shark
is never seen without a retinue of these, who are his pur-
veyors, discovering and distinguishing his prey for him;
while he in turn gratefully protects them from the ravenous,
hungry dolphin. They are commonly counted a very greedy
fish; yet this refuses to meddle with the bait thrown out
for him. 'T is likely he has already made a full meal.
Thursday, Sept. 22nd. A fresh gale at West all this
day. The shark has left us.
Friday, September 2yd. This morning we spied a sail
76 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1726
to windward of us about two leagues. We showed our jack
upon the ensign-staff, and shortened sail for them till about
noon, when she came up with us. She was a snow, from
Dublin, bound for New York, having upwards of fifty ser-
vants on board of both sexes ; they all appeared upon deck,
and seemed very much pleased at the sight of us. There
is really something strangly chearing to the spirits in the
meeting of a ship at sea, containing a society of creatures
of the same species and in the same circumstances with our-
selves, after we had been long separated and excommuni-
cated as it were from the rest of mankind. My heart
fluttered in my breast with joy, when I saw so many human
countenances, and I could scarce refrain from that kind of
laughter, which proceeds from some degree of inward pleas-
ure. When we have been for a considerable time tossing
on the vast waters, far from the sight of any land or ships,
or any mortal creature but ourselves (except a few fish and
sea-birds), the whole world, for aught we know, may be
under a second deluge, and we, like Noah and his company
in the ark, the only surviving remnant of the human race.
The two Captains have mutually promised to keep each
other company; but this I look upon to be only matter of
course, for if ships are unequal in their sailing, they seldom
stay for one another, especially strangers. This afternoon,
the wind, that had been so long contrary to us, came about
to the eastward, (and looks as if it would hold,) to our no
small satisfaction. I find our messmates in a better humour,
and more pleased with their present condition, than they
have been since they came out; which I take to proceed
from the contemplation of the miserable circumstances of
the passengers on board our neighbour, and making the
1726] VOYAGE FROM LONDON" TO PHILADELPHIA 77
comparison. We reckon ourselves in a kind of paradise,
when we consider how they live, confined and stifled up
with such a lousy, stinking rabble, in this hot sultry lati-
tude.
Saturday, Sept. 24. Last night we had a very high wind,
and very thick weather ; in which we lost our consort. This
morning early we spied a sail ahead of us, which we took to
be her; but presently after we spied another, and then
we plainly perceived, that neither of them could be the
snow; for one of them stemmed with us, and the other
bore down directly upon us, having the weather-gage
of us. As the latter drew near, we were a little surprized,
not knowing what to make of her; for by the course she
steered, she did not seem designed for any port, but looked
as if she intended to clap us aboard immediately. I could
perceive concern in every face on board; but she presently
eased us of our apprehensions by bearing away astern of
us. When we hoisted our jack, she answered with French
colours, and presently took them down again; and we soon
lost sight of her. The other ran by us hi less than half an
hour, and answered our jack with an English ensign; she
stood to the Eastward, but the wind was too high to" speak
with either of them. About nine o'clock we spied our con-
sort, who had got a great .way ahead of us. She, it seems,
had made sail during the night, while we lay by, with our
mainyard down, during the hard gale. She very civilly
shortened sail for us, and this afternoon we came up with
her; and now we are running along very amicably together,
side by side, having a most glorious fair wind.
" On either side the parted billows flow,
While the black ocean foams and roars below."
7 8 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1726
Sunday, September 25. Last night we shot ahead of
our consort pretty far. About midnight, having lost sight
of each other, we shortened sail for them : but this morning
they were got as far ahead of us as we could see, having run
by us in the dark unperceived. We made sail and came up
with them about noon; and if we chance to be ahead of
them again in the night, we are to show them a light, that
we may not lose company by any such accident for the future.
The wind still continues fair, and we have made a greater
run these last four-and-twenty hours than we have done
since we came out. All our discourse, now, is of Phila-
delphia, and we begin to fancy ourselves ashore already.
Yet a small change of weather, attended by a westerly wind,
is sufficient to blast all our blooming hopes, and quite spoil
our present good humour.
Monday, September 26. The wind continued fair all
night. In the twelve o'clock watch our consort, who was
about a league ahead of us, showed us a light, and we
answered with another. About six o'clock this morning we
had a sudden hurry of wind at all points of the compass,
accompanied with the most violent shower of rain I ever
saw, insomuch that the sea looked like a cream dish. It
surprized us with all our sails up, and was so various, un-
certain, and contrary, that the mizzen topsail was full,
while the head sails were all aback; and before the men
could run from one end of the ship to the other, 't was about
again. But this did not last long ere the wind settled to
the NorthEast again, to our great satisfaction. Our con-
sort fell astern of us in the storm, but made sail and
came up with us again after it was over. We hailed
one another on the morrow, congratulating upon the con-
1726] VOYAGE FROM LONDON TO PHILADELPHIA 79
tinuance of the fair wind, and both ran on very lovingly
together.
Tuesday, Sept. 27. The fair wind continues still. I
have laid a bowl of punch, that we are in Philadelphia next
Saturday se'nnight; for we reckon ourselves not above 150
leagues from land. The snow keeps us company still.
Wednesday, Sept. 28. We had very variable winds and
weather last night, accompanied with abundance of rain;
and now the wind is come about westerly again, but we
must bear it with patience. This afternoon we took up
several branches of gulf-weed (with which the sea is spread
all over, from the Western Isles to the coast of America);
but one of these branches had something peculiar in it. In
common with the rest, it had a leaf about three quarters of
an inch long, indented like a saw, and a small yellow
berry, filled with nothing but wind; besides which it bore
a fruit of the animal kind, very surprising to see. It was
a small shell-fish like a heart, the stalk by which it proceeded
from the branch being partly of a grisly kind. Upon this
one branch of the weed, there were near forty of these veg-
etable animals; the smallest of them, near the end, con-
tained a substance somewhat like an oyster, but the larger
were visibly animated, opening their shells every moment,
and thrusting out a set of unformed claws, not unlike those
of a crab; but the inner part was still a land of soft jelly.
Observing the weed more narrowly, I spied a very small
crab crawling among it, about as big as the head of a ten-
penny nail, and of a yellowish colour, like the weed itself.
This gave me some reason to think, that he was a native of
the branch; that he had not long since been in the same
condition with the rest of those little embrios that appeared
8o THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1726
in the shells, this being the method of their generation;
and that, consequently, all the rest of this odd kind of fruit
might be crabs in due time. To strengthen my conjecture,
I have resolved to keep the weed in salt water, renewing it
every day till we come on shore, by this experiment to see
whether any more crabs will be produced or not in this
manner.
I remember that the last calm we had, we took notice of
a large crab upon the surface of the sea, swimming from
one branch of weed to another, which he seemed to prey
upon; and I likewise recollect that at Boston, in New Eng-
land, I have often seen small crabs with a shell like a snail
shell upon their backs, crawling about in the salt water;
and likewise at Portsmouth in England. It is like Nature
has provided them hard shell to secure them till their own
proper shell has acquired a sufficient hardness, which once
perfected, they quit their old habitation and venture abroad
safe in their own strength. The various changes that silk-
worms, butterflies, and several other insects go through,
make such alterations and metamorphoses not improbable.
This day the captain of the snow with one of his passengers
came on board us; but the wind beginning to blow, they
did not stay dinner, but returned to their own vessel.
Thursday, Sept. 29. Upon shifting the water in which
I had put the weed yesterday, I found another crab, much
smaller than the former, who seemed to have newly left his
habitation. But the weed begins to wither, and the rest
of the embrios are dead. This new-comer fully con-
vinces me, that at least this sort of crabs are generated in
this manner. The snow's captain dined on board us this
day. Little or no wind.
1726] VOYAGE FROM LONDON TO PHILADELPHIA 81
Friday, Sept. 30. I sat up last night to observe an
eclipse of the moon, which the calendar, calculated for
London, informed us would happen at five o'clock in the
morning, Sept. 30. It began with us about eleven last
night, and continued till near two this morning, darkening
her body about six digits, or one half ; the middle of it being
about half an hour after twelve, by which we may discover
that we are in a meridian of about four hours and half from
London, or 67 degrees of Longitude, and consequently
have not much above one hundred leagues to run. This
is the second eclipse we have had within these fifteen days.
We lost our consort in the night, but saw him again this
morning nearly two leagues to the windward. This after-
noon we spoke with him again. We have had abundance
of dolphins about us these three or four days; but we
have not taken any more than one, they being shy of the
bait. I took in some more gulf-weed to-day with the boat-
hook, with shells upon it like that before mentioned, and
three living perfect crabs, each less than the nail of my little
finger. One of them had something particularly observ-
able, to wit, a thin piece of the white shell which I before
noticed as their covering while they remained hi the con-
dition of embrios, sticking close to his natural shell upon
his back. This sufficiently confirms me in my opinion of
the manner of their generation. I have put this remark-
able crab with a piece of the gulf-weed, shells, &c., into a
glass phial filled with salt water, (for want of spirits of wine,)
in hopes to preserve the curiosity till I come on shore. The
wind is South West.
Saturday, October is/. Last night our consort, who
goes incomparably better upon a wind than our vessel, got
VOL. II G
82 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1726
so far to windward and ahead of us, that this morning we
could see nothing of him, and it is like shall see him no
more. These South Wests are hot, damp winds, and bring
abundance of rain and dirty weather with them.
Sunday, October 2d. Last night we prepared our line
with a design to sound this morning at four o'clock; but
the wind coming about again to the northwest, we let it
alone. I cannot help fancying the water is changed a little,
as is usual when a ship comes within soundings, but 't is
probable I am mistaken ; for there is but one besides myself
of my opinion, and we are very apt to believe what we wish
to be true.
Monday, October $d. The water is now very visibly
changed to the eyes of all except the Captain and Mate,
and they will by no means allow it ; I suppose because they
did not see it first. Abundance of dolphins are about us,
but they are very shy, and keep at a distance. Wind
NorthWest.
Tuesday, October qth. Last night we struck a dolphin,
and this morning we found a flying-fish dead under the
windlass. He is about the bigness of a small mackerel, a
sharp head, a small mouth, and a tail forked somewhat like
a dolphin, but the lowest branch much larger and longer
than the other, and tinged with yellow. His back and sides
of a darkish blue, his belly white, and his skin very thick.
His wings are of a finny substance, about a span long, reach-
ing, when close to his body from an inch below his gills to
an inch above his tail. When they fly it is straight forward,
(for they cannot readily turn,) a yard or two above the water;
and perhaps fifty yards is the furthest before they dip into
the water again, for they cannot support themselves in the
1726] VOYAGE FROM LONDON TO PHILADELPHIA 83
air any longer than while their wings continue wet. These
flying-fish are the common prey of the dolphin, who is their
mortal enemy. When he pursues them, they rise and fly;
and he keeps close under them till they drop, and then snaps
them up immediately. They generally fly in flocks, four
or five, or perhaps a dozen together and a dolphin is seldom
caught without one or more in his belly. We put this flying-
fish upon the hook, in hopes of catching one, but in a few
minutes they got it off without hooking themselves; and
they will not meddle with any other bait.
Tuesday Night. Since eleven o'clock we have struck
three fine dolphins, which are a great refreshment to us.
This afternoon we have seen abundance of grampuses,
which are seldom far from land; but towards evening we
had a more evident token, to wit, a little tired bird, some-
thing like a lark, came on board us, who certainly is an
American, and 't is likely was ashore this day. It is now
calm. We hope for a fair wind next.
Wednesday, October 5. This morning we saw a heron,
who had lodged aboard last night. 'T is a long-legged,
long-necked bird, having, as they say, but one gut. They
live upon fish, and will swallow a living eel thrice, some-
times, before it will remain in their body. The wind is
west again. The ship's crew was brought to a short allow-
ance of water.
Thursday, October 6th. This morning abundance of
grass, rock- weed, &c., passed by us; evident tokens that
land is not far off. We hooked a dolphin this morning,
that made us a good breakfast. A sail passed by us about
twelve o'clock, and nobody saw her till she was too far
astern to be spoken with. 'T is very near calm; we saw
84 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1726
another sail ahead this afternoon ; but, night coming on, we
could not speak with her, though we very much desired it;
she stood to the northward, and it is possible might have
informed us how far we are from land. Our artists on board
are much at a loss. We hoisted our jack to her, but she
took no notice of it.
Friday, October 7. Last night, about nine o'clock, sprung
up a fine gale at NorthEast, which run us in our course
at the rate of seven miles an hour all night. We were in
hopes of seeing land this morning, but cannot. The water,
which we thought was changed, is now as blue as the sky;
so that, unless at that time we were running over some un-
known shoal, our eyes strangely deceived us. All the reck-
onings have been out these several days ; though the captain
says 't is his opinion we are yet a hundred leagues from
land ; for my part I know not what to think of it ; we have
run all this day at a great rate, and now night is come on
we have no soundings. Sure the American continent is
not all sunk under water since we left it.
Saturday, October 8th. The fair wind continues still ;
we ran all night in our course, sounding every four hours,
but can find no ground yet, nor is the water changed by all
this day's run. This afternoon we saw an Irish Lord, and
a bird which flying looked like a yellow duck. These, they
say, are not seen far from the coast. Other signs of lands
have we none. Abundance of large porpoises ran by us
this afternoon, and we were followed by a shoal of small
ones, leaping out of the water as they approached. Tow-
ards evening we spied a sail ahead, and spoke with her
just before dark. She was bound from New York for
Jamaica, and left Sandy Hook yesterday about noon, from
1726] VOYAGE FROM LONDON TO PHILADELPHIA 85
which they reckon themselves forty-five leagues distant.
By this we compute that we are not above thirty leagues
from our Capes, and hope to see land to-morrow.
Sunday, October 9. We have had the wind fair all the
morning; at twelve o'clock we sounded, perceiving the
water visibly changed, and struck ground at twenty-five
fathoms, to our universal joy. After dinner one of our
mess went up aloft to look out, and presently pronounced
the long wished-for sound, LAND ! LAND ! In less than
an hour we could descry it from the deck, appearing like
tufts of trees. I could not discern it so soon as the rest;
my eyes were dimmed with the suffusion of two small drops
of joy. By three o'clock we were run in within two leagues
of the land, and spied a small sail standing along shore.
We would gladly have spoken with her, for our captain was
unacquainted with the Coast, and knew not what land it
was that we saw. We made all the sail we could to speak
with her. We made a signal of distress; but all would not
do, the ill-natured dog would not come near us. Then we
stood off again till morning, not caring to venture too near.
Monday, October 10. This morning we stood in again
for land ; and we that had been here before all agreed that
it was Cape Henlopen; about noon we were come very
near, and to our great joy saw the pilot-boat come off to us,
which was exceeding welcome. He brought on board about
a peck of apples with him; they seemed the most delicious
I ever tasted in my life; the salt provisions we had been
used to gave them a relish. We had extraordinary fair
wind all the afternoon, and ran above a hundred miles up
the Delaware before ten at night. The country appears
very pleasant to the eye, being covered with woods, except
86 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1726
here and there a house and plantation. We cast anchor
when the tide turned, about two miles below Newcastle, and
there lay till the morning tide.
Tuesday, October n. This morning we weighed anchor
with a gentle breeze, and passed by Newcastle, whence they
hailed us and bade us welcome. It is extreme fine weather.
The sun enlivens our stiff limbs with his glorious rays of
warmth and brightness. The sky looks gay, with here and
there a silver cloud. The fresh breezes from the woods
refresh us; the immediate prospect of liberty, after so long
and irksome confinement, ravishes us. In short, all things
conspire to make this the most joyful day I ever knew. As
we passed by Chester, some of the company went on shore,
impatient once more to tread on terra firma, and designing
for Philadelphia by land. Four of us remained on board,
not caring for the fatigue of travel when we knew the voyage
had much weakened us. About eight at night, the wind
failing us, we cast anchor at Redbank, six miles from Phila-
delphia, and thought we must be obliged to lie on board
that night; but, some young Philadelphians happening to
be out upon their pleasure in a boat, they came on board,
and offered to take us up with them; we accepted of their
kind proposal, and about ten o'clock landed at Philadelphia,
heartily congratulating each upon our having happily com-
pleted so tedious and dangerous a voyage. Thank God !
1727] TO MISS JANE FRANKLIN" 87
7. TO MISS JANE FRANKLIN 1
Philadelphia, January 6, 1726-7.
DEAR SISTER,
I am highly pleased with the account Captain Freeman
gives me of you. I always judged by your behaviour when
a child, that you would make a good, agreeable woman,
and you know you were ever my peculiar favorite. I have
been thinking what would be a suitable present for me to
make, and for you to receive, as I hear you are grown a
celebrated beauty. I had almost determined on a tea-
table; but when I considered, that the character of a good
housewife was far preferable to that of being only a pretty
gentlewoman, I concluded to send you a spinning-wheel,
which I hope you will accept as a small token of my sincere
love and affection.
Sister, farewell, and remember that modesty, as it makes
the most homely virgin amiable and charming, so the want
of it infallibly renders the most perfect beauty disagreeable
and odious. But, when that brightest of female virtues
shines among other perfections of body and mind in the same
person, it makes the woman more lovely than an angel.
Excuse this freedom, and use the same with me. I am,
dear Jenny, your loving brother, B. FRANKLIN.
1 From " A Collection of the Familiar Letters of Benjamin Franklin."
Jared Sparks: Boston, 1833, p. 3. Jane (Franklin) Mecom, youngest sister
of Benjamin Franklin, born March 27, 1712; married Edward Mecom;
survived her brother four years.
88 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1728
8. RULES FOR A CLUB ESTABLISHED FOR
MUTUAL IMPROVEMENT l
PREVIOUS QUESTION, TO BE ANSWERED AT EVERY MEETING
HAVE you read over these queries this morning, in order
to consider what you might have to offer the Junto touching
any one of them? viz.
1. Have you met with any thing in the author you last
read, remarkable, or suitable to be communicated to the
Junto? particularly in history, morality, poetry, physic,
travels, mechanic arts, or other parts of knowledge.
2. What new story have you lately heard agreeable for
telling in conversation?
3. Hath any citizen in your knowledge failed in his busi-
ness lately, and what have you heard of the cause?
4. Have you lately heard of any citizen's thriving well,
and by what means?
5. Have you lately heard how any present rich man, here
or elsewhere, got his estate?
6. Do you know of a fellow citizen, who has lately done
a worthy action, deserving praise and imitation ; or who has
lately committed an error, proper for us to be warned against
and avoid?
1 These Rules were drawn up in the year 1728, and designed as general
regulations for a Club, called the JUNTO, consisting of a select number of
Franklin's acquaintances in Philadelphia, whom he had induced to associate
and hold weekly meetings for mutual improvements. These rules were used
in Germany by Herder. See " Benjamin Franklin's Rules for a Club established
in Philadelphia, ubertragen und ausgelegt als Statut fur eine Gesellschaft von
Freunden der Humanitat, von Johann Gottfried Herder, 1792." Copy in
P. H. S. ED.
1728] RULES FOR A CLUB 89
7. What unhappy effects of intemperance have you lately
observed or heard; of imprudence, of passion, or of any
other vice or folly?
8. What happy effects of temperance, of prudence, of
moderation, or of any other virtue?
9. Have you or any of your acquaintance been lately
sick or wounded ? If so, what remedies were used, and what
were their effects?
10. Whom do you know that are shortly going voyages or
journeys, if one should have occasion to send by them ?
11. Do you think of any thing at present, in which the
Junto may be serviceable to mankind, to their country, to
their friends, or to themselves?
12. Hath any deserving stranger arrived in town since
last meeting, that you have heard of? And what have you
heard or observed of his character or merits ? And whether,
think you, it lies in the power of the Junto to oblige him, or
encourage him as he deserves?
13. Do you know of any deserving young beginner lately
set up, whom it lies in the power of the Junto any way to
encourage ?
14. Have you lately observed any defect in the laws of
your country, of which it would be proper to move the legis-
lature for an amendment? Or do you know of any bene-
ficial law that is wanting?
15. Have you lately observed any encroachment on the
just liberties of the people?
1 6. Hath any body attacked your reputation lately?
And what can the Junto do towards securing it?
17. Is there any man whose friendship you want, and
which the Junto, or any of them, can procure for you?
9 o THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1728
1 8. Have you lately heard any member's character at-
tacked, and how have you defended it?
19. Hath any man injured you, from whom it is in the
power of the Junto to procure redress?
20. In what manner can the Junto, or any of them, assist
you in any of your honourable designs?
21. Have you any weighty affair on hand, in which you
think the advice of the Junto may be of service ?
22. What benefits have you lately received from any
man not present?
23. Is there any difficulty in matters of opinion, of justice,
and injustice, which you would gladly have discussed at this
time?
24. Do you see any thing amiss in the present customs or
proceedings of the Junto, which might be amended?
Any person to be qualified [as a member of the JUNTO],
to stand up, and lay his hand upon his breast, and be asked
these questions, viz.
1. Have you any particular disrespect to any present
members? Answer. I have not.
2. Do you sincerely declare, that you love mankind in
general, of what profession or religion soever? Answer.
I do.
3. Do you think any person ought to be harmed in his
body, name, or goods, for mere speculative opinions, or his
external way of worship? Answer. No.
4. Do you love truth for truth's sake, and will you en-
deavour impartially to find and receive it yourself, and
communicate it to others? Answer. Yes.
1 72 8] ARTICLES OF BELIEF 9'
9. ARTICLES OF BELIEF (L.C.)
AND
ACTS OF RELIGION
IN Two PARTS
Here will I hold. If there is a Pow'r above us,
(And that there is, all Nature cries aloud,
Thro' all her Works) He must delight in Virtue ;
And that which he delights in must be Happy.
CATO.
PART I
Philad 8
Nov. 20: 1728.
92 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1728
FIRST PRINCIPLES 1
I believe there is one supreme, most perfect Being, Author
and Father of the Gods themselves. For I believe that
Man is not the most perfect Being but one, rather that as
there are many Degrees of Beings his Inferiors, so there are
many Degrees of Beings superior to him.
Also, when I stretch my Imagination thro' and beyond
our System of Planets, beyond the visible fix'd Stars them-
selves, into that Space that is every Way infinite, and con-
ceive it fill'd with Suns like ours, each with a Chorus of
Worlds forever moving round him, then this little Ball on
which we move, seems, even in my narrow Imagination,
to be almost Nothing, and myself less than nothing, and of
no sort of Consequence.
When I think thus, I imagine it great Vanity in me to sup-
pose, that the Supremely Perfect does in the least regard
such an inconsiderable Nothing as Man. More especially,
since it is impossible for me to have any positive clear idea
of that which is infinite and incomprehensible, I cannot con-
ceive otherwise than that he the Infinite Father expects or
requires no Worship or Praise from us, but that he is even
infinitely above it.
But, since there is in all Men something like a natural
1 The original Ms. of "Articles of Belief," dated Nov. 20, 1728, is in
the Stevens Collection (L. C.). It was Franklin's daily companion to the end
of his life. It is the earliest autograph Ms. of Franklin in the Stevens Collec-
tion. Another copy in that collection is an early transcript entrusted to
Valpy, the printer, in 1817. It was found among W. T. Franklin's copies,
much mutilated, and wanting six leaves.
Although it purports to be the FIRST PART, the work seems never to have
been continued. ED.
1728] ARTICLES OF BELIEF 93
principle, which inclines them to DEVOTION, or the Worship
of some unseen Power;
And since Men are endued with Reason superior to all
other Animals, that we are in our World acquainted with;
Therefore I think it seems required of me, and my Duty
as a Man, to pay Divine Regards to SOMETHING.
I conceive then, that the INFINITE has created many
beings or Gods, vastly superior to Man, who can better
conceive his Perfections than we, and return him a more
rational and glorious Praise.
As, among Men, the Praise of the Ignorant or of Children
is not regarded by the ingenious Painter or Architect, who
is rather honour'd and pleas'd with the approbation of
Wise Men & Artists.
It may be that these created Gods are immortal; or it
may be that after many Ages, they are changed, and others
Supply their Places.
Howbeit, I conceive that each of these is exceeding wise
and good, and very powerful; and that Each has made for
himself one glorious Sun, attended with a beautiful and
admirable System of Planets.
It is that particular Wise and good God, who is the author
and owner of our System, that I propose for the object of
my praise and adoration*
For I conceive that he has in himself some of those Pas-
sions he has planted in us, and that, since he has given us
Reason whereby we are capable of observing his Wisdom in
the Creation, he is not above caring for us, being pleas'd
with our Praise, and offended when we slight Him, or neglect
his Glory.
I conceive for many Reasons, that he is a good Being;
94 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1728
and as I should be happy to have so wise, good, and power-
ful a Being my Friend, let me consider in what manner I
shall make myself most acceptable to him.
Next to the Praise resulting from and due to his Wis-
dom, I believe he is pleas'd and delights in the Happiness of
those he has created; and since without Virtue Man can
have no Happiness in this World, I firmly believe he delights
to see me Virtuous, because he is pleased when he sees Me
Happy.
And since he has created many Things, which seem
purely design'd for the Delight of Man, I believe he is not
offended, when he sees his Children solace themselves in
any manner of pleasant exercises and Innocent Delights;
and I think no Pleasure innocent, that is to Man hurtful.
I love him therefore for his Goodness, and I adore him for
his Wisdom.
Let me then not fail to praise my God continually, for it
is his Due, and it is all I can return for his many Favours
and great Goodness to me ; and let me resolve to be virtuous,
that I may be happy, that I may please Him, who is delighted
to see me happy. Amen!
ADORATION
PREL. Being mindful that before I address the Deity,
my soul ought to be calm and serene, free from Passion
and Perturbation, or otherwise elevated with Rational Joy
and Pleasure, I ought to use a Countenance that expresses
a filial Respect, mixed w th a kind of Smiling, that Signifies
inward Joy, and Satisfaction, and Admiration.
O wise God, my good Father!
1728] ARTICLES OF BELIEF 95
Thou beholdest the sincerity of my Heart and of my De-
votion; Grant me a Continuance of thy Favour!
1. O Creator, O Father! I believe that thou art Good,
and that thou art pleased with the pleasure of thy children.
Praised be thy name for Ever !
2. By thy Power hast thou made the glorious Sun, with
his attending Worlds; from the energy of thy mighty Will,
they first received [their prodigious] motion, and by thy
Wisdom hast thou prescribed the wondrous Laws, by which
they move. Praised be thy name for Ever !
3. By thy Wisdom hast thou formed all Things. Thou
hast created Man, bestowing Life and Reason, and placed
him in Dignity superior to thy other earthly Creatures.
Praised be thy name for Ever!
4. Thy Wisdom, thy Power, and thy Goodness are
everywhere clearly seen; in the air and in the water, in the
Heaven and on the Earth; Thou providest for the various
winged Fowl, and the innumerable Inhabitants of the Water ;
thou givest Cold and Heat, Rain and Sunshine, hi their
Season, & to the Fruits of the Earth Increase. Praised
be thy name for Ever!
5. Thou abhorrest in thy Creatures Treachery and
Deceit, Malice, Revenge, [intemperance,] and every other
hurtful Vice ; but Thou art a Lover of Justice and Sincerity,
of Friendship and Benevolence, and every Virtue. Thou
art my Friend, my Father, and my Benefactor. Praised
be thy name, O God, for Ever! Amen!
[After this, it will not be improper to read part of some
such Book as Ray's Wisdom of God in the Creation, or
Blackmore on the Creation, or the Archbishop of Cambray's
96 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1728
Demonstration of the Being of a God, &c., or else spend
some Minutes in a serious Silence, contemplating on those
Subjects.]
Then sing
MILTON'S HYMN TO THE CREATOR
" These are thy Glorious Works, Parent of Good !
Almighty, Thine this Universal Frame,
Thus wondrous fair ! Thyself how wondrous then !
Speak ye who best can tell, Ye Sons of Light,
Angels, for ye behold him, and with Songs
And Choral Symphonies, Day without Night,
Circle his Throne rejoicing you in Heav'n,
On Earth join all ye creatures to extol
Him first, him last, him midst, and without End.
" Fairest of Stars, last in the Train of Night,
If rather Thou belongst not to the Dawn,
Sure Pledge of Day ! thou crown'st the smiling Morn
With thy bright Circlet, Praise him in thy Sphere
While Day arises, that sweet Hour of Prime.
Thou Sun, of this great World, both Eye and Soul,
Acknowledge him thy greater ; Sound his Praise
In thy eternal Course ; both when thou climb'st,
And when high Noon hast gainM, and when thou fall'st.
Moon ! that now meet'st the orient sun, now fly'st,
With the fixed Stars, fixed in their orb that flies,
And ye five other wandering Fires, that move
In mystic Dance not without Song ; resound
His Praise, that out of Darkness called up Light.
Air ! and ye Elements ! the eldest Birth
Of Nature's womb, that in Quaternion run
Perpetual Circle, multiform, and mix
And nourish all things, let your ceaseless Change
Vary to our great Maker still new Praise.
Ye mists and Exhalations, that now rise
From Hill or steaming lake, dusky or grey,
Till the Sun paint your fleecy skirts with Gold,
1728] ARTICLES OF BELIEF 97
In honour to the World's Great Author rise ;
Whether to deck with Clouds the uncolor'd sky,
Or wet the thirsty Earth w th falling show'rs,
Rising or falling still advance his Praise.
His Praise, ye Winds ! that from 4 quarters blow,
Breathe soft or Loud ; and wave your Tops, ye Pines !
With every Plant, in sign of worship wave.
Fountains ! and ye that warble, as ye flow
Melodious Murmurs, warbling tune his Praise.
Join voices all ye living souls, ye Birds !
That singing, up to Heaven's high gate ascend,
Bear on your wings, & in your Note his Praise ;
Ye that in Waters glide ! and ye that walk
The Earth ! and stately tread or lowly creep ;
Witness if I be silent, Ev'n or Morn,
To Hill, or Valley, Fountain, or Fresh Shade,
Made Vocal by my Song, and taught his Praise."
[Here follows the Reading of some Book, or part of a
Book, Discoursing on and exciting to Moral Virtue.]
PETITION
Inasmuch as by Reason of our Ignorance We cannot be
certain that many Things, which we often hear mentioned
in the Petitions of Men to the Deity, would prove real Goods,
if they were in our Possession, and as I have reason to hope
and believe that the Goodness of my Heavenly Father will
not withold from me a suitable share of Temporal Blessings,
if by a Virtuous and holy Life I conciliate his Favour and
Kindness, Therefore I presume not to ask such things, but
rather humbly and with a Sincere Heart, express my earnest
desires that he would graciously assist my Continual En-
deavours and Resolutions of eschewing Vice and embracing
Virtue ; which Kind of Supplications will at least be thus far
VOL. II H
98 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1728
beneficial, as they remind me in a solemn manner of my Ex-
tensive duty.
That I may be preserved from Atheism & Infidelity,
Impiety, and Profaneness, and, hi my Addresses to Thee,
carefully avoid Irreverence and ostentation, Formality and
odious Hypocrisy, Help me, O Father !
That I may be loyal to my Prince, and faithful to my
country, careful for its good, valiant in its defence, and
obedient to its Laws, abhorring Treason as much as Tyranny,
Help me, O Father!
That I may to those above me be dutiful, humble, and
submissive; avoiding Pride, Disrespect, and Contumacy,
Help me, O Father!
That I may to those below me be gracious, Condescending,
and Forgiving, using Clemency, protecting innocent Dis-
tress, avoiding Cruelty, Harshness, and oppression, Insolence,
and unreasonable Severity, Help me, O Father !
That I may refrain from Censure, Calumny and Detrac-
tion ; that I may avoid and abhor Deceit and Envy, Fraud,
Flattery, and Hatred, Malice, Lying, and Ingratitude,
Help me, O Father !
That I may be sincere in Friendship, faithful in trust, and
Impartial in Judgment, watchful against Pride, and against
Anger (that momentary Madness), Help me, O Father !
That I may be just in all my Dealings, temperate in my
Pleasures, full of Candour and Ingenuity, Humanity and
Benevolence, Help me, O Father !
That I may be grateful to my Benefactors, and generous
to my Friends, exercising Charity and Liberality to the
Poor, and Pity to the Miserable, Help me, O Father !
1728] ARTICLES OF BELIEF 99
That I may avoid Avarice and Ambition, Jealousie, and
Intemperance, Falsehood, Luxury, and Lasciviousness,
Help me, O Father!
That I may possess Integrity and Evenness of Mind,
Resolution in Difficulties, and Fortitude under Affliction;
that I may be punctual in performing my promises, Peace-
able and prudent in my Behaviour, Help me, O Father !.
That I may have Tenderness for the Weak, and reverent
Respect for the Ancient ; that I may be Kind to my Neigh-
bours, good-natured to my Companions, and hospitable
to Strangers, Help me, O Father !
That I may be averse to Talebearing, Backbiting, Detrac-
tion, Slander, & Craft, and overreaching, abhor Extortion,
Perjury, and every Kind of wickedness, Help me, O Father !
That I may be honest and open-hearted, gentle, merci-
ful, and good, cheerful in spirit, rejoicing in the Good of
others, Help me, O Father !
That I may have a constant Regard to Honour and Prob-
ity, that I may possess a perfect innocence and a good
Conscience, and at length become truly Virtuous and Mag-
nanimous, Help me, good God ; help me, O Father ! *
And, forasmuch as ingratitude is one of the most odious
of vices, let me not be unmindful gratefully to acknowledge
the favours I receive from. Heaven.
THANKS
For peace and liberty, for food and raiment, for corn, and
wine, and milk, and every kind of healthful nourishment,
Good God, I thank thee !
1 At this point the original Ms. ends. The subsequent paragraph, including
the "Thanks," is found only in W. T. Franklin's transcript (L. C.). ED.
loo THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
For the common benefits of air and light; for useful fire
and delicious water, Good God, I thank thee!
For knowledge, and literature, and every useful art, for
my friends and their prosperity, and for the fewness of my
enemies, Good God, I thank thee!
For all thy innumerable benefits; for life, and reason,
and the use of speech ; for health, and joy, and every pleas-
ant hour, My good God, I thank thee !
10. THE BUSY-BODY. No. i 1 (P.H.S.)
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 4th, 1728-9
MR. ANDREW BRADFORD,
I DESIGN this to acquaint you, that I, who have long been
one of your Courteous Readers, have lately entertain'd some
Thoughts of setting up for an Author mySelf; not out of
the least Vanity, I assure you, or Desire of showing my
Parts, but purely for the Good of my Country.
I have often observ'd with Concern that your Mercury is
1 In the spring of 1 728 Franklin separated from Keimer to found his own
printing house in partnership with Hugh Meredith. He determined to
establish a newspaper. His plan was betrayed to Keimer, who immediately
published proposals for one of his own making. He called his paper "The
Universal Instructor in all Arts and Sciences and Pennsylvania Gazette,"
(December 28, 1728). To wreck his rival's enterprise Franklin contributed
to the American Weekly Mercury a series of essays subscribed "The Busy-
body." The cleverness and entertainment of these essays diverted newspaper
readers from the drowsy numbers of Keimer's Universal Instructor to the
sprightlier columns of the Mercury, The first five numbers and the eighth
were written by Franklin ; the others by Joseph Brientnal. I have never
seen the Mercury of February n, 1728-9. With this exception the vari-
ous numbers are reprinted from copies in the Philadelphia Library, and Pa.
Hist. Society. ED.
1729] THE BUSY-BODY 101
not always equally entertaining. The Delay of Ships ex-
pected in, and want of fresh Advices from Europe, make it
frequently very Dull; and I find the Freezing of our River
has the same Effect on News as on Trade. With more
Concern have I continually observ'd the growing Vices and
Follies of my Country-folk; and, tho' Reformation is prop-
erly the concern of every Man ; that is, Every one ought to
mend One; yet 'tis too true hi this Case, that what is every
Body's Business is nobody's Business; and the Business
is done accordingly. I therefore, upon mature Delibera-
tion, think fit to take Nobody's Business wholly into my
own Hands; and, out of Zeal for the Publick Good, design
to erect mySelf into a Kind of Censor Morum; proposing,
with your Allowance, to make Use of the Weekly Mercury
as a Vehicle hi which my Remonstrances shall be convey'd
to the World.
I am sensible I have in this Particular undertaken a very
unthankful Office, and expect little besides my Labour for
my Pains. Nay, 'tis probable I may displease a great
Number of your Readers, who will not very well like
to pay 10 s. a Year for being told of their Faults. But,
as most People delight in Censure when they themselves
are not the Objects of it, if any are offended at my pub-
lickly exposing their private Vices, I promise they shall have
the Satisfaction, in a very little Time, of seeing their good
Friends and Neighbours in the same Circumstances.
However, let the Fair Sex be assur'd that I shall always
treat them and their Affairs with the utmost Decency and
Respect. I intend now and then to dedicate a Chapter
wholly to their Service ; and if my Lectures any Way con-
tribute to the Embellishment of their Minds and brightning
102 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
of their Understandings, without offending their Modesty, I
doubt not of having their Favour and Encouragement.
'Tis certain, that no Country in the World produces
naturally finer Spirits than ours; Men of Genius for every
kind of Science, and capable of acquiring to Perfection
every Qualification that is in Esteem among Mankind.
But as few here have the Advantage of good Books, for
want of which, good Conversation is still more scarce, it
would doubtless have been very acceptable to your Readers,
if, instead of an old out-of-date Article from Muscovy or
Hungary, you had entertained them with some well-chosen
Extract from a good Author. This I shall sometimes do,
when I happen to have nothing of my own to say that I
think of more Consequence. Sometimes I propose to de-
liver Lectures of Morality or Philosophy, and (because I
am naturally enclin'd to be meddling with Things that
don't concern me) perhaps I may sometimes talk Politicks.
And if I can by any means furnish out a Weekly Entertain-
ment for the Publick that will give a rational Diversion,
and at the same Time be instructive to the Readers, I shall
think my Leisure Hours well employ'd: And if you pub-
lish this, I hereby invite all ingenious Gentlemen and others
(that approve of such an Undertaking) to my Assistance
and Correspondence.
'Tis like by this Time, you have a Curiosity to be ac-
quainted with my Name and Character. As I do not aim
at publick Praise, I design to remain concealed ; and there
are such Numbers of our Family and Relations at this
Time in the Country, that tho' I've sign'd my Name at full
Length, I am not under the least Apprehension of being
distinguish'd and discover'd by it. My Character, indeed,
1729] THE BUSY-BODY 103
I would favour you with, but that I am cautious of praising
mySelf, lest I should be told my Trumpeter's dead: And
I cannot find in my Heart at present, to say any Thing to
my own Disadvantage.
It is very common with Authors, in their first Perform-
ances, to talk to their Readers thus; "If this meets with a
SUITABLE Reception; Or, If this should meet with
DUE Encouragement, I shall hereafter publish, &c." This
only manifests the Value they put on their own Writings,
since they think to frighten the Publick into their Applause,
by threatning, that unless you approve what they have al-
ready wrote, they intend never to write again ; when perhaps
it mayn't be a Pin Matter whether they ever do or no. As
I have not observ'd the Criticks to be more favourable on
this Account, I shall always avoid saying any Thing of the
Kind; and conclude with telling you, that, if you send me
a Bottle of Ink and a Quire of Paper by the Bearer, you
may depend on hearing further from, Sir, your most humble
Servant,
THE BUSY-BODY.
THE BUSY-BODY. No. 2
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY II, 1728-9
All fools have still an itching to deride,
And fain would be upon the laughing side.
POPE.
MONSIEUR de la Rochefoucault tells us somewhere in his
Memoirs, that the Prince of Conde* delighted much in ridi-
cule, and used frequently to shut himself up for half a day
together in his chamber, with a gentleman that was his
104 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
favorite, purposely to divert himself with examining what
was the foible or ridiculous side of every noted person in the
court. That gentleman said afterwards in some company,
that he thought nothing was more ridiculous in anybody,
than this same humour in the Prince; and I am somewhat
inclined to be of this opinion. The general tendency there
is among us to this embellishment, which I fear has too
often grossly imposed upon my loving countrymen instead of
wit, and the applause it meets with from a rising generation,
fill me with fearful apprehensions for the future reputation
of my country. A young man of modesty (which is the
most certain indication of large capacities) is hereby dis-
couraged from attempting to make any figure in life; his
apprehensions of being out-laughed will force him to con-
tinue in a restless obscurity, without having an opportunity
of knowing his own merit himself or discovering it to the
world, rather than venture to oppose himself in a place
where a pun or a sneer shall pass for wit, noise for reason,
and the strength of the argument be judged by that of the
lungs.
Among these witty gentlemen let us take a view of Riden-
tius. What a contemptible figure does he make with his
train of paltry admirers ! This wight shall give himself an
hour's diversion with the cock of a man's hat, the heels of
his shoes, an unguarded expression in his discourse, or even
some personal defect ; and the height of his low ambition is
to put some one of the company to the blush, who perhaps
must pay an equal share of the reckoning with himself. If
such a fellow makes laughing the sole end and purpose of
his life ; if it is necessary to his constitution, or if he has a
great desire of growing suddenly fat, let him eat ; let him give
1729] THE BUSY-BODY 105
public notice where any dull stupid rogue may get a quart of
four-penny for being laughed at; but it is barbarously un-
handsome, when friends meet for the benefit of conversation
and a proper relaxation from business, that one should be
the butt of the company, and four men made merry at the
cost of the fifth.
How different from this character is that of the good-
natured, gay Eugenius, who never spoke yet but with a
design to divert and please, and who was never yet baulked
in his intention. Eugenius takes more delight in applying
the wit of his friends, than in being admired himself; and
if any one of the company is so unfortunate as to be touched
a little too nearly, he will make use of some ingenious arti-
fice to turn the edge of ridicule another way, choosing rather
to make himself a public jest, than be at the pain of seeing
his friend in confusion.
Among the tribe of laughers, I reckon the petty gentle-
men that write satires, and carry them about in their pock-
ets, reading them themselves in all company they happen
into; taking an advantage of the ill taste of the town to
make themselves famous for a pack of paltry, low nonsense,
for which they deserve to be kicked rather than admired,
by all who have the least tincture of politeness. These I
take to be the most incorrigible of all my readers; nay, I
expect they will be squibbing at the Busy-Body himself.
However, the only favour he begs of them is this, that if they
cannot control their overbearing itch of scribbling, let him
be attacked in downright biting lyrics ; for there is no satire
he dreads half so much as an attempt towards a panegyric.
io6 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
THE BUSY-BODY. No. 3 (P.H.S.)
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY l8TH, 1728-9
Non vultus instantis Tyranni
Mente quatit solida, neque Auster,
Dux inquieti turbidus Adriae,
Nee fulminantis magna Jovis manus.
HOR.
IT is said that the Persians, in their ancient Constitution,
had publick Schools in which Virtue was taught as a Liberal
Art or Science; and it is certainly of more Consequence to
a Man, that he has learnt to govern his Passions ; in spite
of Temptation to be just in his Dealings, to be Temperate
in his Pleasures, to support himself with Fortitude under
his Misfortunes, to behave with Prudence in all Affairs, and
in every Circumstance of Life; I say, it is of much more
real Advantage to him to be thus qualified, than to be a
Master of all the Arts and Sciences in the World beside.
Virtue alone is sufficient to make a Man Great, Glorious,
and Happy. He that is acquainted with Cato, as I am,
cannot help thinking as I do now, and will acknowledge he
deserves the Name, without being honour'd by it. Cato is
a Man whom Fortune has plac'd in the most obscure Part
of the Country. His Circumstances are such, as only put
him above Necessity, without affording him many Super-
fluities; Yet who is greater than Cato? I happened but
the other Day to be at a House in Town, where, among
others, were met Men of the most Note in this Place. Cato
had Business with some of them, and knock'd at the Door.
The most trifling Actions of a Man, in my Opinion, as well
1729] THE BUSY-BODY 107
as the smallest Features and Lineaments of the Face, give
a nice Observer some Notion of his Mind. Methought he
rapp'd in such a peculiar Manner, as seem'd of itself to
express there was One, who deserv'd as well as desir'd Ad-
mission. He appear'd in the plainest Country Garb; his
Great Coat was coarse, and looked old and threadbare;
his Linnen was homespun; his Beard perhaps of Seven
Days' Growth; his Shoes thick and heavy; and every Part
of his Dress corresponding. Why was this Man receiv'd
with such concurring Respect from every Person in the
Room, even from those who had never known him or seen
him before? It was not an exquisite Form of Person, or
Grandeur of Dress, that struck us with Admiration.
I believe long Habits of Virtue have a sensible Effect on
the Countenance. There was something in the Air of his
Face, that manifested the true Greatness of his Mind, which
likewise appear'd in all he said, and in every Part of his
Behaviour, obliging us to regard him with a Kind of
Veneration. His Aspect is sweetened with Humanity and
Benevolence, and at the same Time emboldned with Res-
olution, equally free from a diffident Bashfulness and
an unbecoming Assurance. The Consciousness of his own
innate Worth and unshaken Integrity renders him calm
and undaunted in the Presence of the most Great and Pow-
erful, and upon the most extraordinary Occasions. His
strict Justice and known Impartiality make him the Arbi-
trator and Decider of all Differences, that arise for many
Miles around him, without putting his Neighbours to the
Charge, Perplexity, and Uncertainty of Law-Suits. He
always speaks the Thing he means, which he is never afraid
or asham'd to do, because he knows he always means well,
io8 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
and therefore is never oblig'd to blush, and feel the Con-
fusion of finding himself detected in the Meanness of a
Falshood. He never contrives 111 against his Neighbour,
and therefore is never seen with a lowring, suspicious Aspect.
A mixture of Innocence and Wisdom makes him ever seri-
ously chearful. His generous Hospitality to Strangers,
according to his Ability; his Goodness, his Charity, his
Courage in the Cause of the Oppressed, his Fidelity in
Friendship, his Humility, his Honesty and Sincerity, his
Moderation, and his Loyalty to the Government; his Piety,
his Temperance, his Love to Mankind, his Magnanimity,
his Publick-Spiritedness, and in fine, his consummate Vir-
tue, make him justly deserve to be esteem'd the Glory of
his Country.
" The Brave do never shun the Light ;
Just are their Thoughts, and open are their Tempers ;
Freely without Disguise they love and hate ;
Still are they found in the fair Face of Day,
And Heaven and Men are Judges of their Actions."
ROWE.
Who would not rather chuse, if it were in his Choice, to
merit the above Character, than be the richest, the most
learned, or the most powerful Man in the Province without it ?
Almost every Man has a strong natural Desire of being
valu'd and esteem'd by the rest of his Species, but I am
concern'd and griev'd to see how few fall into the Right
and only infallible Method of becoming so. That laudable
Ambition is too commonly misapply'd, and often ill em-
ploy'd. Some to make themselves considerable pursue
Learning, others grasp at Wealth ; some aim at being thought
witty; and others are only careful to make the most of an
1729] THE BUSY-BODY 109
handsome Person; But what is Wit, or Wealth, or Form,
or Learning, when compar'd with Virtue? 'Tis true, we
love the handsome, we applaud the Learned, and we fear
the Rich and Powerful; but we even Worship and adore
the Virtuous. Nor is it strange; since Men of Virtue are
so rare, so very rare to be found. If we were as industrious
to become Good as to make ourselves Great, we should
become really Great by being Good, and the Number of
valuable Men would be much increased; but it is a Grand
Mistake to think of being Great without Goodness; and I
pronounce it as certain, that there was never yet a truly
Great Man, that was not at the same Time truly Virtuous.
O Cretico ! thou sowre Philosopher ! Thou cunning
Statesman ! Thou art crafty, but far from being Wise.
When wilt thou be esteem'd, regarded, and belov'd like
Cato? When wilt thou, among thy Creatures, meet with
that unfeign'd respect and warm Good-will, that all Men
have for him? Wilt thou never understand, that the cring-
ing, mean, submissive Deportment of thy Dependents, is
(like the worship paid by Indians to the Devil) rather thro'
Fear of the Harm thou may'st do to them, than out of Grati-
tude for the Favours they have receiv'd of thee? Thou
art not wholly void of Virtue; there are many good Things
in thee, and many good Actions reported of thee. Be ad-
vised by thy Friend. Neglect those musty Authors; let
them be cover'd with Dust, and moulder on their proper
Shelves; and do thou apply thyself to a Study much more
profitable, The knowledge of Mankind and of thySelf.
This is to give Notice, that the Busy-Body strictly forbids
all Persons, from this Time forward, of what Age, Sex,
I io THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
Rank, Quality, Degree, or Denomination soever, on any
Pretence, to enquire who is the Author of this Paper, on
Pain of his Displeasure, (his own near and Dear Relations
only excepted.)
'Tis to be observ'd, that if any bad Characters happen
to be drawn in the Course of these Papers, they mean no
particular Person, if they are not particularly apply'd.
Likewise, that the Author is no Party-man, but a general
Meddler.
N. B. Cretico lives in a neighbouring Province.
THE BUSY-BODY. No. 4 (P.H.S.)
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 25, 1728-9
Ne quid nimis.
IN my first Paper I invited the Learned and the Ingenious
to join with me in this Undertaking, and I now repeat that
Invitation. I would have such Gentlemen take this Op-
portunity (by trying their Talent in Writing) of diverting
themselves and their Friends, and improving the Taste of
the Town. And because I would encourage all Wit of our
own Growth and Produce, I hereby promise, that whoever
shall send me a little Essay on some moral or other Subject,
that is fit for publick View in this Manner, (and not basely
borrow'd from any other Author,) I shall receive it with
Candour, and take care to place it to the best Advantage. It
will be hard if we cannot muster up in the whole Country
a sufficient Stock of Sense to supply the Busy-Body at least
for a Twelvemonth.
1729] THE BUSY-BODY in
For my own Part, I have already profess'd, that I have
the Good of my Country wholly at Heart in this Design,
without the least sinister View; my chief Purpose being to
inculcate the noble Principles of Virtue, and depreciate Vice
of every kind. But, as I know the Mob hate Instruction,
and the Generality would never read beyond the first Line
of my Lectures, if they were actually fill'd with nothing but
wholesome Precepts and Advice, I must therefore sometimes
humor them in their own Way. There are a Set of Great
Names in the Province, who are the common Objects of
Popular Dislike. If I can now and then overcome my
Reluctance, and prevail with myself to satyrize a little one
of these Gentlemen, the Expectation of meeting with such
a Gratification will induce many to read me through, who
would otherwise proceed immediately to the Foreign News.
As I am very well assured the greatest Men among us have
a sincere Love for their Country, notwithstanding its Ingrati-
tude, and the Insinuations of the Envious and Malicious
to the contrary, so I doubt not but they will chearfully tolerate
me in the Liberty I design to take for the End above men-
tioned.
As yet I have but few Correspondents, tho' they begin now
to increase. The following Letter, left for me at the Printer's,
is one of the first I have receiv'd, which I regard the more
for that it comes from one of the Fair Sex, and because I
have myself oftentimes suffer'd under the Grievance therein
complain'd of.
"TO THE BUSY-BODY
"SIR,
"You having set yourself up for a Censuror Morum, (as
I think you call it), which is said to mean a Reformer of
112 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
Manners, I know no Person more proper to be apply'd to
for Redress in all the Grievances we suffer from Want of
Manners, in some People. You must know I am a single
Woman, and keep a Shop in this Town for a Livelyhood.
There is a certain Neighbour of mine, who is really agreeable
Company enough, and with whom I have had an Intimacy
of some Time standing; but of late she makes her visits so
excessively often, and stays so very long every Visit, that I
am tir'd out of all Patience. I have no Manner of Time at
all to myself; and you, who seem to be a wise Man, must
needs be sensible that every Person has little Secrets and
Privacies, that are not proper to be expos'd even to the nearest
Friend. Now I cannot do the least Thing in the World,
but she must know all about it; and it is a Wonder I
have found an Opportunity to write you this Letter. My
Misfortune is, that I respect her very well, and know not how
to disoblige her so much as to tell her I should be glad to
have less of her Company ; for if I should once hint such a
Thing, I am afraid she would resent it so as never to darken
my Door again.
"But alas, Sir, I have not yet told you half my Affliction.
She has two Children, that are just big enough to run about
and do pretty Mischief; these are continually along with
Mamma, either in my Room or Shop, if I have ever so many
Customers or People with me about Business. Sometimes
they pull the Goods off my low Shelves down to the Ground,
and perhaps where one of them has just been making Water.
My Friend takes up the Stuff, and cries, 'Eh! thou little
wicked mischievous Rogue! But, however, it has done no
great Damage ; 'tis only wet a little ;' and so puts it up upon
the Shelf again. Sometimes they get to my Cask of Nails
1729] THE BUSY-BODY 113
behind the Counter, and divert themselves, to my great
Vexation, with mixing my Ten-penny, and Eight-penny,
and Four-penny, together. I endeavour to conceal my
Uneasiness as much as possible, and with a grave Look go
to Sorting them out. She cries, 'Don't thee trouble thyself,
Neighbour: Let them play a little; I'll put all to rights
myself before I go.' But Things are never so put to rights,
but that I find a great deal of Work to do after they are gone.
Thus, Sir, I have all the Trouble and Festerment of Chil-
dren, without the Pleasure of calling them my own ;
and they are now so us'd to being here, that they will be con-
tent nowhere else. If she would have been so kind as to
have moderated her Visits to ten times a Day, and stay'd
but half an hour at a Time, I should have been contented,
and I believe never have given you this Trouble. But this
very Morning they have so tormented me, that I could bear
no longer; for, while the Mother was asking me twenty
impertinent Questions, the youngest got to my Nails, and
with great Delight rattled them by handfuls all over the
Floor; and the other, at the same Time, made such a ter-
rible Din upon my Counter with a Hammer, that I grew
half distracted. I was just then about to make myself a
new Suit of Pinners; but in the Fret and Confusion I cut
it quite out of all Manner of Shape, and utterly spoil'd a
Piece of the first Muslin.
" Pray, Sir, tell me what I shall do ; and talk a little against
such unreasonable Visiting in your next Paper ; tho' I would
not have her affronted with me for a great Deal, for sincerely
I love her and her Children, as well, I think, as a Neighbour
can, and she buys a great many Things in a Year at my
Shop. But I would beg her to consider, that she uses me
VOL. II I
ii4 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
unmercifully, Tho' I believe it is only for want of Thought.
But I have twenty Things more to tell you besides all this:
There is a handsome Gentleman, that has a Mind (I don't
question) to make love to me, but he can't get the least
Opportunity to O dear ! here she comes again ; I must
conclude, yours, &c.
"PATIENCE."
Indeed, 'tis well enough, as it happens, that she is come
to shorten this Complaint, which I think is full long enough
already, and probably would otherwise have been as long
again. However, I must confess, I cannot help pitying my
Correspondent's Case ; and, in her Behalf, exhort the Visitor
to remember and consider the Words of the Wise Man,
"Withdraw thy Foot from the House of thy Neighbour,
lest he grow weary of thee, and so hate thee." It is, I be-
lieve, a nice thing, and very difficult, to regulate our Visits
in such a Manner, as never to give Offence by coming too
seldom, or too often, or departing too abruptly, or staying
too long. However, in my Opinion, it is safest for most
People in a general way, who are unwilling to disoblige,
to visit seldom, and tarry but a little while in a Place, not-
withstanding pressing invitations, which are many times
insincere. And tho' more of your Company should be really
desir'd, yet in this Case, too much Reservedness is a Fault
more easily excus'd than the Contrary.
Men are subjected to various Inconveniences meerly
through lack of a small Share of Courage, which is a Quality
very necessary in the common Occurrences of Life, as well
as in a Battle. How many Impertinences do we daily suffer
with great Uneasiness, because we have not Courage enough
1729] THE BUSY-BODY 115
to discover our Dislike? And why may not a Man use the
Boldness and Freedom of telling his Friends, that their long
Visits sometimes incommode him? On this Occasion, it
may be entertaining to some of my Readers, if I acquaint
them with the Turkish Manner of entertaining Visitors,
which I have from an Author of unquestionable Veracity;
who assures us, that even the Turks are not so ignorant of
Civility and the Arts of Endearment, but that they can
practise them with as much Exactness as any other Nation,
whenever they have a Mind to shew themselves obliging.
"When you visit a Person of Quality," (says he) "and
have talk'd over your Business, or the Complements, or
whatever Concern brought you thither, he makes a Sign to
have Things serv'd in for the Entertainment, which is gen-
erally, a little Sweetmeat, a Dish of Sherbet, and another of
Coffee ; all which are immediately brought in by the Servants,
and tender'd to all the Guests in Order, with the greatest
Care and Awfulness imaginable. At last comes the finish-
ing Part of your Entertainment, which is, Perfuming the
Beards of the Company; a Ceremony which is perform'd
in this Manner. They have for the Purpose a small Silver
Chaffing-Dish, cover'd with a Lid full of Holes, and fixed
upon a handsome Plate. In this they put some fresh Coals,
and upon them. a piece of Lignum Aloes, and shutting it
up, the smoak immediately ascends with a grateful Odour
thro' the Holes of the Cover. This smoak is held under
every one's Chin, and offer'd as it were a Sacrifice to his
Beard. The bristly Idol soon receives the Reverence done
to it, and so greedily takes in and incorporates the gummy
Steam, that it retains the Savour of it, and may serve for a
Nosegay a good while after.
Ii6 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
"This Ceremony may perhaps seem ridiculous at first
hearing, but it passes among the Turks for a high Gratifi-
cation. And I will say this in its Vindication, that its Design
is very wise and useful. For it is understood to give a civil
Dismission to the Visitants, intimating to them, that the
Master of the House has Business to do, or some other
Avocation, that permits them to go away as soon as they
please, and the sooner after this Ceremony the better. By
this Means you may, at any Time, without Offence, deliver
yourself from being detain'd from your Affairs by tedious
and unseasonable Visits; and from being constrain'd to
use that Piece of Hypocrisy, so common in the World, of
pressing those to stay longer with you, whom perhaps in
your Heart you wish a great Way off for having troubled
you so long already."
Thus far my Author. For my own Part, I have taken
such a Fancy to this Turkish Custom, that for the future I
shall put something like it in Practice. I have provided a
Bottle of right French Brandy for the Men, and Citron- Water
for the Ladies. After I have treated with a Dram, and pre-
sented a Pinch of my best Snuff, I expect all Company will
retire, and leave me to pursue my Studies for the Good of
the Publick.
ADVERTISEMENT
I give Notice, that I am now actually compiling, and
design to publish in a short Time, the true History of the
Rise, Growth, and Progress of the renowned Tiff- Club.
All Persons who are acquainted with any Facts, Circum-
stances, Characters, Transactions, &c. which will be requi-
site to the Perfecting and Embellishment of the said Work,
1729] THE BUSY-BODY 117
are desired to communicate the same to the Author, and
direct their Letters to be left with the Printer hereof.
The Letter, sign'd "Would-be- something" is come to
hand.
THE BUSY-BODY. No. 5 (P. H. s.)
TUESDAY, MARCH 4, 1728-9
Vos, o patricius sanguis, quos vivere fas est
Occipiti caeco, posticae occurrite sannae.
PERSIUS.
THIS Paper being design'd for a Terror to Evil-Doers,
as well as a Praise to them that do well, I am lifted up with
secret Joy to find, that my Undertaking is approved, and
encourag'd by the Just and Good, and that few are against
me but those, who have Reason to fear me.
There are little Follies in the Behaviour of most Men,
which their best Friends are too tender to acquaint them
with; There are little Vices and small Crimes, which the
Law has no Regard to or Remedy for: There are likewise
great Pieces of Villany sometimes so craftily accomplish'd,
and so circumspectly guarded, that the Law can take no
Hold of the Actors. All these Things, and all Things of
this Nature, come within my Province as Censor; and I am
determined not to be negligent of the Trust I have reposed
in myself, but resolve to execute my Office diligently and
Faithfully.
And that all the World may judge with how much Hu-
manity, as well as Justice, I shall behave in this Office;
and that even my Enemies may be convinc'd I take no
Ii8 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
Delight to rake into the Dunghill Lives of vicious Men ; and
to the End that certain Persons may be a little eas'd of their
Fears, and reliev'd from the terrible Palpitations they have
lately felt and suffered, and do still suffer ; I hereby graciously
pass an Act of general Oblivion, for all Offences, Crimes,
and Misdemeanors of what Kind soever, committed from
the Beginning of Year sixteen hundred and eighty one, until
the Day of the Date of my first Paper, and promise only to
concern myself with such as have been since and shall here-
after be committed. I shall take no Notice who has (here-
tofore) rais'd a Fortune by Fraud and Oppression, nor who
by Deceit and Hypocrisy; What Woman has been false to
her good Husband's Bed, nor what Man has, by barbarous
Usage or Neglect, broke the Heart of a faithful Wife, and
wasted his Health and Substance in Debauchery; What
Base Wretch has betray'd his Friend, and sold his Honesty
for Gold, nor what yet baser Wretch first corrupted him,
and then bought the Bargain; all this, and much more of
the same kind, I shall forget, and pass over in Silence ; but
then it is to be observed, that I expect and require a sudden
and general Amendment.
These Threatnings of mine I hope will have a good Effect,
and, if regarded, may prevent abundance of Folly and
Wickedness in others, and, at the same Time, save me
abundance of Trouble. And, that People may not flatter
themselves with the Hopes of concealing their Misdemeanours
from my Knowledge, and in that View persist in Evil-doing,
I must acquaint them, that I have lately enter'd into an
Intimacy with the extraordinary Person, who some Time
since wrote me the following Letter; and who, having a
Wonderful Faculty, that enables him discover the most
1729] THE BUSY-BODY 119
secret Iniquity, is capable of giving me great Assistance in
my designed Work of Reformation.
"MR. BUSY-BODY/
"I rejoice, Sir, at the Opportunity you have given me to
be serviceable to you, and, by your Means, to this Province.
You must know, that such have been the Circumstances of
my life, and such were the marvellous Concurrences of my
Birth, that I have not only a Faculty of discovering the
Actions of Persons, that are absent or asleep; but even of
the Devil himself, in many of his secret Workings, in the
various Shapes, Habits, and Names of Men and Women;
and, having travel'd and conversed much and met but with
a very few of the same Perceptions and Qualifications, I
can recommend mySelf to you as the most useful Man you
can correspond with. My Father's Father's Father (for we
had no Grandfathers in our Family) was the same John
Bunyan, that writ that memorable Book, The Pilgrim's
Progress, who had, in some Degree, a natural Faculty of
Second Sight. This Faculty (how derived to him our
Family Memoirs are not very clear) was enjoy'd by all his
Descendants, but not by equal Talents. 'Twas very dim
in several of my first Cousins, and probably had been nearly
extinct in our particular Branch, had not my Father been a
Traveller. He lived in his youthful Days in New England.
There he married, and there was born my elder Brother,
who had so much of this Faculty, as to discover Witches in
some of their occult Performances.
"My Parents transporting themselves to Great Britain,
1 From this point to the end of the letter Joseph Brientnal is the author.
ED.
120 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
my second Brother's Birth was in that Kingdom. He shared
but a small Portion of this Virtue, being only able to discern
Transactions about the Time, and for the most Part after
their happening. My good Father, who delighted in The
Pilgrim's Progress, and mountainous Places, took Shipping
with his Wife for Scotland, and inhabited in the Highlands,
where mySelf was born; and whether the Soil, Climate,
or Astral Influences, of which are preserved divers Prog-
nosticks, restored our Ancestor's Natural Faculty of Second
Sight, in a greater Lustre to me, than it had shined in thro'
several Generations, I will not here discuss. But so it is,
that I am possess'd largely of it, and design, if you encour-
age the Proposal, to take this Opportunity of doing good
with it, which I question not will be accepted of in a grate-
ful Way by many of your honest Readers, tho' the Discovery
of my Extraction bodes me no Deference from your great
Scholars and modern Philosophers. This my Father was
long ago aware of; and lest the Name alone should hurt
the Fortunes of his Children, he in his Shiftings from one
Country to another, wisely changed it.
"Sir, I have only this further to say, how I may be use-
ful to you, and as a Reason for my not making mySelf more
known in the World. By Virtue of this great Gift of Nature,
Second- Sightedness, I do continually see Numbers of Men,
Women, and Children, of all Ranks, and what they are
doing, while I am sitting in my Closet; which is too great
a Burthen for the Mind, and makes me also conceit, even
against Reason, that all this Host of People can see and
observe me, which strongly inclines me to Solitude, and an
obscure Living; and, on the other Hand, it will be an Ease
to me to disburthen my Thoughts and Observations in the
1729] THE BUSY-BODY 121
Way proposed to you by, Sir, your Friend and humble
Servant. "
I conceal this Correspondent's Name, in my Care for
his Life and Safety, and cannot but approve his Prudence
in chusing to live obscurely. I remember the Fate of my
poor Monkey. He had an ill-natur'd Trick of grinning
and chattering at every Thing he saw in Petticoats. My
Ignorant Country Neighbours got a Notion, that Pug snarl'd
by instinct at every Female who had lost her Virginity.
This was no sooner generally believed, than he was con-
demn'd to Death; By whom, I could never learn, but
he was assassinated in the Night, barbarously stabb'd
and mangled hi a Thousand Places, and left hanging
dead on one of my Gate-posts, where I found him the next
Morning.
The Censor observing, that the Itch of Scribbling begins
to spread exceedingly, and being carefully tender of the
Reputation of his Country in Point of Wit and Good Sense,
has determined to take all manner of writings in Verse or
Prose, that pretend to either, under his immediate Cogni-
zance; and accordingly hereby prohibits the Publishing
any such for the future, till they have first pass'd his Ex-
amination, and receiv'd his Imprimatur; for which he
demands as a Fee only 6d per Sheet.
N. B. He nevertheless permits to be published all Sa-
tyrical Remarks on the Busy-Body, the above Prohibition
notwithstanding, and without Examination, or requiring
the said Fees; which Indulgence the small Wits in and
about this City are advised gratefully to accept and ac-
knowledge.
122 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
The Gentleman, who calls himself Sirronio, is directed,
on Receipt of this, to burn his great Book of Crudities.
P. S. In Compassion to that young Man, on Account of
the great Pains he has taken ; in Consideration of the Char-
acter I have just receiv'd of him, that he is really Good-
natured, and on Condition he shows it to no Foreigner or
Stranger of Sense, I have thought fit to reprieve his said
great Book of Crudities from the Flames, 'till further Order.
Noli me tangere.
I HAD resolved, when I first commenced this Design, on
no Account to enter into a publick Dispute with any Man;
for I judg'd it would be equally unpleasant to me and my
Readers, to see this Paper fill'd with contentious Wran-
gling, Answers, Replies, &c. ; which is a Way of Writing
that is Endless, and, at the same time, seldom contains any
Thing that is either edifying or entertaining. Yet when
such a considerable Man as Mr. finds himself con-
cern'd so warmly to accuse and condemn me, as he has
done in Keimer's last Instructor, I cannot forbear endeav-
ouring to say something in my own Defence, from one of
the worst of Characters that could be given of me by a Man
of Worth. But as I have many Things of more Conse-
quence to offer the Publick, I declare, that I will never,
after this Time, take Notice of any Accusations, not better
supported with Truth and Reason; much less may every
little Scribbler, that shall attack me, expect an Answer from
the Busy-Body.
The Sum of the Charge deliver'd against me, either
directly or indirectly, in the said Paper, is this. Not to
mention the first weighty Sentence concerning Vanity and
1729] THE BUSY-BODY 123
Ill-Nature, and the shrewd Intimation, that I am without
Charity, and therefore can have no Pretence to Religion,
I am represented as guilty of Defamation and Scandal,
the Odiousness of which is apparent to every good Man, and
the Practice of it opposite to Christianity, Morality, and
common Justice, and, in some Cases, so far below all these,
as to be inhumane; As a Blaster of Reputations. As at-
tempting, by a Pretence, to screen myself from the Imputa-
tion of Malice and Prejudice. As using a Weapon, which
the Wiser and better Part of Mankind hold in Abhorrence.
And as giving Treatment, which the wiser and better Part
of Mankind dislike on the same Principles, and for the same
Reason, as they do Assassination, &c. ; and all this is
infer'd and concluded from a Character I wrote in my
Number III.
In order to examine the Justice and Truth of this heavy
Charge, let us recur to that Character. And here we may
be surpriz'd to find what a Trifle has rais'd this mighty
Clamour and Complaint, this Grievous Accusation ! The
worst Thing said of the Person, in what is called my gross
Description (be he who he will to whom my Accuser has
apply'd the Character of Cretico), is, that he is a sowre
Philosopher, crafty, but not wise. Few Humane Characters
can be drawn, that will not fit somebody, in so large a Coun-
try as this ; but one would think, supposing I meant Cretico
-a real Person, I had sufficiently manifested my Impartiality,
when I said, in that very Paragraph, that Cretico is not
without Virtue ; that there are MANY good Things in him,
and MANY good Actions reported of him ; Which must be
allow'd, in all Reason, very much to overballance in his
Favour those worst Words, sowre-temper'd and cunning.
124 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
Nay, my very Enemy and Accuser must have been sensible
of this, when he freely acknowledges, that he has been
seriously considering, and cannot yet determine, which he
would chuse to be, the Cato or Cretico of that Paper; since
my Cato is one of the best of Characters. Thus much in
my own Vindication.
As to the only reasons there given, why I ought not to
continue drawing Characters, viz. Why should any Man's
Picture be published, which he never sat for; or his good
Name taken from him, any more than his Money or Pos-
sessions, at the arbitrary Will of another, &c. ? I have
but this to answer. The Money or Possessions, I presume,
are nothing to the Purpose, since no Man can claim a Right
either to those or a good Name, if he has acted so as to for-
feit them. And are not the Publick the only Judges what
Share of Reputation they think proper to allow any Man?
Supposing I was capable, and had an Inclination to draw
all the good and bad Characters in America: Why should
a good Man be offended with me for drawing good Char-
acters? And if I draw 111 Ones, can they fit any but those
that deserve them? And ought any but such to be con-
cern'd that they have their Deserts? I have as great an
Aversion and Abhorrence from Defamation and Scandal as
any Man, and would with the utmost Care avoid being
guilty of such base Things; Besides I am very sensible
and certain, that if I should make use of this Paper to de-
fame any Person, my Reputation would be sooner hurt by
it than his, and the Busy-Body would quickly become de-
testable; because, in such a Case, as is justly observed,
the Pleasure arising from a Taste of Wit and Novelty
soon dies away in generous and Honest Minds, and is
1729] THE BUSY-BODY 125
followed with a secret Grief to see their Neighbours calum-
niated.
But if I myself was actually the worst Man hi the Province,
and any one should draw my true Character, would it not
be ridiculous in me to say he had defam'd and scandaliz'd
me, unless added in a matter of Truth ? If any Thing
is meant by asking, why any Man's Picture should be pub-
lish'd, which he never sat for, it must be, that we should
give no Character without the Owner's Consent. If I
discern the Wolf disguis'd in harmless Wool, and contriv-
ing the Destruction of my Neighbour's Sheep, must I have
his Permission before I am allow'd to discover and prevent
him? If I know a Man to be a designing Knave, must I
ask his Consent to bid my Friends beware of him? If so,
Then by the same Rule, supposing the Busy-Body had
really merited all his Enemy had charg'd him with, his
Consent likewise ought to have been obtain'd before so
terrible an Accusation was published against him.
I shall conclude with observing, that in the last Para-
graph save one of the Piece now examin'd, much Ill-Nature
and some Good Sense are Co-inhabitants (as he expresses
it). The Ill-Nature appears in his endeavouring to dis-
cover Satyr where I intended no such Thing, but quite the
Reverse: The good Sense, is this, that drawing too good
a Character of any one is a refined Manner of Satyr, that
may be as injurious to him as the contrary, by bringing
on an Examination that undresses the Person, and, in the
Haste of doing it, he may happen to be stript of what he
really owns and deserves. As I am Censor, I might punish
the first, but I forgive it. Yet I will not leave the latter un-
rewarded; but assure my Adversary, that in Consideration
126 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
of the Merit of those four Lines, I am resolved to forbear
injuring him on any Account in that refined Manner.
I thank my Neighbour P W 1 for his kind
Letter.
The Lions complain'd of shall be muzzled.
THE BUSY-BODY. No. 8 (L.C.P.)
TUESDAY, MARCH 27, 1729
Quid non mortalia pectora cogis,
Auri sacra fames !
VIRGIL.
ONE of the greatest Pleasures an Author can have, is
certainly the Hearing his Works applauded. The hiding
from the World our Names, while we publish our Thoughts,
is so absolutely necessary to this Self-Gratification, that I
hope my Well-wishers will congratulate me on my Escape
from the many diligent but fruitless Enquiries, that have
of late been made after me. Every Man will own, That
an Author, as such, ought to be try'd by the Merit of his
Production only; but Pride, Party, and Prejudice at this
Time run so very high, that Experience shews we form our
Notions of a Piece by the Character of the Author. Nay,
there are some very humble Politicians in and about this
City, who will ask on which Side the Writer is, before they
presume to give their Opinion of the Thing wrote. This
ungenerous Way of Proceeding I was well aware of before
I publish'd my first Speculation, and therefore concealed
my Name. And I appeal to the more generous Part of
1729] THE BUSY-BODY 127
the World, if I have since I appear'd in the Character of
the Busy-Body, given an Instance of my siding with any
Party more than another, in the unhappy Divisions of my
Country; and I have, above all, this Satisfaction in my-
Self, that neither Affection, Aversion, or Interest have
byass'd me to use any Partiality towards any Man, or sett
of Men; but whatsoever I find nonsensically ridiculous,
or immorally dishonest, I have, and shall continue openly
to attack, with the Freedom of an honest Man and a Lover
of my Country.
I profess I can hardly contain mySelf, or preserve the
Gravity and Dignity, that should attend the Censorial
Office, when I hear the odd and unaccountable Exposi-
tions, that are put upon some of my Works, thro' the ma-
licious Ignorance of some, and the vain Pride of more than
ordinary Penetration in others; one Instance of which
many of my Readers are acquainted with. A certain Gentle-
man has taken a great Deal of Pains to write a Key to the
Letter in my No. 4, wherein he has ingeniously converted
a gentle Satyr upon tedious and impertinent Visitants, into
a Libel on some in the Government. This I mention only
as a Specimen of the Taste of the Gentlemen I am, for-
sooth, bound to please in my Speculations, not that I sup-
pose my Impartiality will .ever be called in Question upon
that Account. Injustices of this Nature I could complain
of in many Instancies; but I am at present diverted by
the Reception of a Letter, which, tho' it regards me only
in my Private Capacity as an Adept, yet I venture to publish
it for the Entertainment of my Readers.
128 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
To Censor Morum, Esq., Busy- Body General of the Province
0} Pennsylvania, and the counties of Newcastle, Kent, and
Sussex upon Delaware. 1
"HONOURABLE SIR,
"I judge by your Lucubrations, that you are not only a
Lover of Truth and Equity, but a Man of Parts and Learn-
ing and a Master of Science ; as such I honour you. Know,
then, Most profound Sir, That I have, from my Youth up,
been a very indefatigable Student in and Admirer of that
Divine Science, Astrology. I have read over Scot, Albertus
Magnus, and Cornelius Agrippa, above 300 Times ; and was
in hopes, by my Knowledge and Industry, to gain enough
to have recompenced me for my Money expended and Time
lost in the Pursuit of this Learning. You cannot be igno-
rant, Sir, (for your intimate Second-sighted Correspondent
knows all Things) that there are large Sums of Money
hidden under Ground in divers Places about this Town,
and in many Parts of the Country; but, alas, Sir, Notwith-
standing I have used all the Means laid down in the immortal
Authors before mentioned, and when they fail'd, the ingen-
ious Mr. P d 1, with his Mercurial Wand and Magnet, I
have still fail'd in my Purpose. This therefore I send, to
propose and desire an Acquaintance with you ; and I do not
doubt, notwithstanding my repeated 111 Fortune, but we
may be exceedingly serviceable to each other in our Dis-
coveries; and that if we use our united Endeavours, the
Time will come when the Busy-Body, his Second-sighted
Correspondent, and your very humble Servant, will be
Three of the richest Men in the Province. And then, Sir,
1 This letter of " Titan Pleiades " was written by Joseph Brientnal. ED.
1729] THE BUSY-BODY 129
what may not we do? A Word to the Wise is sufficient.
I conclude, with all demonstrable Respect, yours and Urania's
Votary,
" TITAN PLEIADES."
In the Evening, after I had received this Letter, I made
a Visit to my Second-sighted Friend, and communicated to
him the Proposal. When he had read it, he assur'd me,
that to his certain Knowledge there is not at this Time so
much as one Ounce of Silver or Gold hid under Ground in
any Part of this Province: For that the late and present
Scarcity of Money had obliged those, who were living,
and knew where they had formerly hid any, to take it up,
and use it in their own necessary Affairs. And as to all the
Rest, which was buried by Pyrates and others in old Times,
who were never like to come for it, he himself had dug it all
up and applied it to charitable Uses ; And this he desired me
to publish for general Good. For, as he acquainted me,
There are among us great Numbers of honest Artificers
and labouring People, who fed with a vain Hope of growing
suddenly rich, neglect their Business, almost to the ruining
of themselves and Families, and voluntarily endure abun-
dance of Fatigue in a fruitless Search after Imaginary hid-
den Treasure. They wander thro' the Woods and Bushes
by Day, to discover the Marks and Signs ; at Midnight they
repair to the hopeful Spot with Spades and Pickaxes; full
of Expectation, they labour violently, trembling at the same
Time, in every Joint, thro' Fear of certain malicious Demons,
who are said to haunt and guard such Places. At length a
mighty hole is dug, and perhaps several Cart-loads of Earth
thrown out; but, alas, no Cag or Iron Pot is found! No
VOL. n K
130 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
Seaman's Chest cram'd with Spanish Pistoles, or weighty
Pieces of Eight! Then they conclude, that, thro' some
Mistake in the Procedure, some rash Word spoke, or some
Rule of Art neglected, the Guardian Spirit had Power to
sink it deeper into the Earth, and convey it out of their
Reach. Yet when a Man is once thus infatuated, he is so
far from being discouraged by ill Success, that he is rather
animated to double his Industry, and will try again and again
in a Hundred Different Places, in Hopes at last of meeting
with some lucky Hit, that shall at once sufficiently reward
him for all his Expence of Time and Labour.
This odd Humour of Digging for Money, thro' a Belief
that much has been hid by Pirates formerly frequenting the
River, has for several Years been mighty prevalent among
us; insomuch that you can hardly walk half a Mile out of
Town on any Side, without observing several Pits dug with
that Design, and perhaps some lately opened. Men, other-
wise of very good Sense, have been drawn into this Practice
thro' an overweening Desire of sudden Wealth, and an easy
Credulity of what they so earnestly wished might be true;
while the rational and almost certain Methods of acquiring
Riches by Industry and Frugality are neglected or forgotten.
There seems to be some peculiar Charm in the conceit of -find-
ing Money ; and if the Sands of Schuylkil were so much mixed
with small Grains of Gold, that a Man might in a Day's
Time, with Care and Application, get together to the Value
of half a Crown, I make no Question but we should find
several People employ'd there, that can with Ease earn Five
Shillings a Day at their proper Trades.
Many are the idle Stories told of the private Success of
some People, by which others are encouraged to proceed;
1729] THE BUSY-BODY 131
and the Astrologers, with whom the Country swarms at
this Time, are either irt the Belief of these things themselves,
or find their Advantage in persuading others to believe
them ; for they are often consulted about the critical Times
for Digging, the Methods of laying the Spirit, and the like
Whimseys, which renders them very necessary to, and very
much caress'd by the poor deluded Money-hunters.
There is certainly something very bewitching in the Pur-
suit after Mines of Gold and Silver and other valuable
Metals ; And many have been ruined by it. A Sea- Captain
of my Acquaintance us'd to blame the English for envying
Spain their Mines of Silver, and too much despising or over-
looking the Advantages of their own Industry and Manu-
factures. "For my Part," says he, "I esteem the Banks of
Newfoundland to be a more valuable Possession than the
Mountains of Potosi; and, when I have been there on the
Fishing Account, have look'd upon every cod pulFd up into
the Vessel as a certain Quantity of Silver Ore, which required
only carrying to the next Spanish Port to be coin'd into
Pieces of Eight ; not to mention the National Profit of fiting
out and Employing such a Number of Ships and Seamen."
Let honest Peter Buckrum, who has long without Success
been a Searcher after hidden Money, reflect on this, and be
reclaimed from that unaccountable Folly. Let him consider,
that every Stitch he takes, when he is on his Shopboard, is
picking up part of a Grain of Gold, that will in a few Days'
Time amount to a Pistole; and let Faber think the same
of every Nail he drives, or every Stroke with his Plain. Such
Thoughts may make them industrious, and of consequence
in Time they may be Wealthy. But how absurd is it to
neglect a certain Profit for such a ridiculous Whimsey:
I 3 2 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
To spend whole Days at the George, in company with an
idle Pretender to Astrology, contriving Schemes to discover
what was never hidden, and forgetful how carelessly Busi-
ness is managed at Home in their Absence; to leave their
Wives and a warm Bed at Midnight (no matter if it rain,
hail, snow, or blow a Hurricane, provided that be the critical
Hour), and fatigue themselves with the Violent Exercise of
Digging for what they shall never find, and perhaps getting
a Cold that may cost their Lives, or at least disordering
themselves so as to be fit for no Business beside for some
Days after. Surely this is nothing less than the most egre-
gious Folly and Madness.
I shall conclude with the Words of my discreet friend
Agricola, of Chester County, when he gave his Son a Good
Plantation. "My son," says he, "I give thee now a Valu-
able Parcel of Land; I assure thee I have found a consid-
erable Quantity of Gold by Digging there; thee mayst do
the same. But thee must carefully observe this, Never to
dig more than Plow-deep."
1729] PAPER CURRENCY 133
ii. A MODEST
ENQUIRY
INTO THE
NATURE AND NECESSITY
OF A
PAPER CURRENCY
Quid asper
Utile nummus habet ; patriae charisq, propinquis
Quantum elargiri deceat.
PERS.
Philadelphia :
Printed and sold at the new Printing-
office, near the Market, 1729.* (p. H. s.)
1 For the origin of this tract see the Autobiography, Vol. I, p. 306. ED.
134 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN" FRANKLIN [1729
THERE is no Science, the Study of which is more useful
and commendable than the Knowledge of the true Interest
of one's Country ; and perhaps there is no Kind of Learning
more abstruse and intricate, more difficult to acquire in any
Degree of Perfection than This, and therefore none more
generally neglected. Hence it is, that we every Day find
Men in Conversation contending warmly on some Point in
Politicks, which, altho' it may nearly concern them both,
neither of them understand any more than they do each
other.
Thus much by way of Apology for this present Enquiry
into the, Nature and Necessity of a Paper Currency. And
if any Thing I shall say, may be a Means of fixing a Subject,
that is now the chief Concern of my Countrymen, in a
clearer Light, I shall have the Satisfaction of thinking my
Time and Pains well employed.
To proceed, then,
There is a certain proportionate Quantity of Money requisite
to carry on the Trade of a Country freely and currently; More
than which would be of no Advantage in Trade, and Less,
if much less, exceedingly detrimental to it.
This leads us to the following general Considerations.
First. A great Want of Money, in any Trading Country,
occasions Interest to be at a very high Rate. And here it may
be observed, that it is impossible by any Laws to restrain
Men from giving and receiving exorbitant Interest, where
Money is suitably scarce: For he that wants Money will
find out Ways to give 10 per cent, when he cannot have it
for less, altho' the Law forbids to take more than 6 per cent.
Now the Interest of Money being high is prejudicial to a
Country several Ways: It makes Land bear a low Price,
1729] PAPER CURRENCY 135
because few Men will lay out their Money in Land, when
they can make a much greater Profit by lending it out upon
Interest. And much less will Men be inclined to venture
their Money at Sea, when they can, without Risque or
Hazard, have a great and certain Profit by keeping it at
home; thus Trade is discouraged. And if in two Neigh-
bouring Countries the Traders of one, by Reason of a greater
Plenty of Money, can borrow it to trade with at a lower
Rate than the Traders of the other, they will infallibly have
the Advantage, and get the greatest Part of that Trade
into their own Hands; For he that trades with Money he
hath borrowed at 8 or 10 per cent, cannot hold Market with
him that borrows his money at 6 or 4. On the contrary, a
plentiful Currency will occasion Interest to be low: And this
will be an Inducement to many to lay out their Money in
Lands, rather than put it out to Use, by which means Land
will begin to rise in Value and bear a better Price. And at
the same Time it will tend to enliven Trade exceedingly,
because People will find more Profit in employing their
Money that Way than in Usury ; and many that understand
Business very well, but have not a Stock sufficient of their
own, will be encouraged to borrow Money to trade with,
when they can have it at moderate Interest.
Secondly. Want of Money in a Country reduces the Price
of that Part of its Produce which is used in Trade: Because,
Trade being discouraged by it as above, there is a much less
Demand for that Produce. And this is another Reason
why Land in such a Case will be low, especially where the
Staple Commodity of the Country is the immediate Produce
of the Land; because, that Produce being low, fewer people
find an Advantage in Husbandry, or the Improvement of
136 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
Land. On the contrary, a Plentiful Currency will occasion
the Trading Produce to bear a good Price; because, Trade
being encouraged and advanced by it, there will be a much
greater Demand for that Produce; which will be a great
Encouragement of Husbandry and Tillage, and consequently
make Land more valuable, for that many People would
apply themselves to Husbandry, who probably might other-
wise have sought some more profitable Employment.
As we have already experienced how much the Increase
of our Currency, by what Paper Money has been made,
has encouraged our Trade, particularly to instance only in
one Article, Ship-Building, it may not be amiss to observe
under this Head, what a great Advantage it must be to us
as a Trading Country, that has Workmen and all the Mate-
rials proper for that Business within itself, to have Ship-
Building as much as possible advanced: for every Ship,
that is built here for the English Merchants, gains the Prov-
ince her clear Value in Gold and Silver, which must otherwise
have been sent Home for Returns in her Stead ; and likewise,
every Ship, built in and belonging to the Province, not only
saves the Province her first Cost, but all the Freight, Wages,
and Provisions she ever makes or requires as long as she
lasts; provided Care is taken to make This her Pay-Port,
and that she always takes Provisions with her for the whole
Voyage, which may easily be done. And how considerable
an Article this is yearly in our Favour, every one, the least
acquainted with mercantile Affairs, must needs be sensible;
for, if we could not Build ourselves, we must either purchase
so many Vessels as we want from other Countries, or else
Hire them to carry our Produce to Market, which would be
more expensive than Purchasing, and on many other Accounts
1729] PAPER CURRENCY 137
exceedingly to our Loss. Now as Trade in general will
decline where there is not a plentiful Currency, so Ship-
Building must certainly of Consequence decline where
Trade is declining.
Thirdly. Want of Money in a Country discourages Labour-
ing and Handicrafts Men (which are the chief Strength and
Support of a People) from coming to settle in it, and induces
many that were settled to leave the Country, and seek Enter-
tainment and Employment in other Places, where they can be
better paid. For what can be more disheartning to an indus-
trious labouring Man than this, that, after he hath earned
his Bread with the Sweat of his Brows, he must spend as
much Time, and have near as much Fatigue in getting it,
as he had to earn it? And nothing makes more bad Pay-
masters than a general Scarcity of Money. And here again
is a Third Reason for Land's bearing a low Price in such
a Country, because Land always increases in Value in Pro-
portion with the Increase of the People settling on it, there
being so many more Buyers; and its Value will infallibly
be diminished, if the Number of its Inhabitants diminish.
On the contrary, a Plentiful Currency will encourage great
Numbers of labouring and Handicrafts Men to come and
Settle in the Country, by the same Reason that a Want of it
will discourage and drive them out. Now the more In-
habitants, the greater Demand for Land (as is said above),
upon which it must necessarily rise in Value, and bear a
better Price. The same may be said of the Value of House-
Rent, which will be advanced for the same Reasons; and,
by the Increase of Trade and Riches, People will be enabled
to pay greater Rents. Now the Value of House-Rent rising,
and Interest becoming low, many that in a Scarcity of Money
I 3 8 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
practised Usury, will probably be more inclined to Building ;
which will likewise sensibly enliven Business in any Place;
it being an Advantage not only to Brickmakers, Bricklayers,
Masons, Carpenters, Joiners, Glaziers, and several other
Trades immediately employed by Building, but likewise to
Farmers, Brewers, Bakers, Taylors, Shoemakers, Shopkeepers,
and, in short, to every one that they lay their Money out
with.
Fourthly. Want of Money in such a Country as ours,
occasions a greater Consumption 0} English and European
Goods, in Proportion to the Number of the People, than there
would otherwise be. Because Merchants and Traders, by
whom abundance of Artificers and labouring Men are em-
ployed, finding their other Affairs require what Money they
can get into their hands, oblige those who work for them to
take one half or perhaps two-thirds Goods in Pay. By
this Means a greater Quantity of Goods are disposed of,
and to a greater Value; because Working-Men and their
Families are thereby induced to be more profuse and ex-
travagant in fine Apparel and the like, than they would be
if they were obliged to pay ready Money for such Things
after they had earn'd and received it, or if such Goods were
not imposed upon them, of which they can make no other
Use. For such People cannot send the Goods they are paid
with to a Foreign Market, without losing considerably by
having them sold for less than they stand 'em in here; nei-
ther can they easily dispose of them at Home, because their
Neighbours are generally supplied in the same Manner.
But how unreasonable would it be, if some of those very
Men who have been a Means of thus forcing People into un-
necessary Expense, should be the first and most earnest in
1729] PAPER CURRENCY 139
accusing them of Pride and Prodigality. Now, tho' this
extraordinary Consumption of Foreign Commodities may
be a Profit to particular Men, yet the Country in general
grows poorer by it apace. On the contrary, As a plentiful
Currency will occasion a less consumption of European Goods,
in proportion to the Number of the People, so it will be a
means of making the Balance of our Trade more equal
than it now is, if it does not give it in our Favour; because
our own Produce will be encouraged at the same Time.
And it is to be observed, that, tho' less Foreign Commodities
are consumed in Proportion to the Number of People, yet
this will be no Disadvantage to the Merchant, because the
Number of People increasing, will occasion an increasing
Demand of more Foreign Goods in the Whole.
Thus we have seen some of the many heavy Disadvan-
tages a Country (especially such a Country as ours) must
labour under, when it has not a sufficient Stock of running
Cash to manage its Trade currently. And we have likewise
seen some of the Advantages which accrue from having
Money sufficient, or a Plentiful Currency.
The foregoing Paragraphs being well considered, we
shall naturally be led to draw the following Conclusions
with Regard to what Persons will probably be for or against
Emitting a large Additional Sum of Paper Bills in this
Province.
i. Since Men will always be powerfully influenced in
their Opinions and Actions by what appears to be their par-
ticular Interest: Therefore all those, who, wanting Courage
to venture in Trade, now practise Lending Money on Se-
curity for exorbitant Interest, which, in a Scarcity of Money
will be done, notwithstanding the Law, I say all such will
1 40 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
probably be against a large Addition to our present Stock
of Paper Money; because a plentiful Currency will lower
Interest, and make it common to lend on less Security.
2. All those who are Possessors of large Sums of Money,
and are disposed to purchase Land, which is attended with
a great and sure Advantage hi a growing Country as this
is; I say, the Interest of all such Men will encline them to
oppose a large Addition to our Money. Because their
Wealth is now continually increasing by the large Interest
they receive, which will enable them (if they can keep Land
from rising) to purchase More some time hence than they
can at present; and in the mean time all Trade being
discouraged, not only those who borrow of them, but the
Common People in general will be impoverished, and con-
sequently obliged to sell More Land for less Money than
they will do at present. And yet, after such Men are pos-
sessed of as much Land as they can purchase, it will then
be their Interest to have Money made plentiful, because
that will immediately make Land rise in Value in their
Hands. Now it ought not to be wonder'd at, if People
from the Knowledge of a Man's Interest do sometimes
make a true Guess at his Designs; for Interest, they say,
will not Lie.
3. Lawyers, and others concerned in Court Business,
will probably many of them be against a plentiful Currency ;
because People in that Case will have less Occasion to run
in Debt, and consequently less Occasion to go to Law and
Sue one another for their Debts. Tho' I know some even
among these Gentlemen, that regard the Publick Good be-
fore their own apparent private Interest.
4. All those who are any way Dependants on such Persons
1729] PAPER CURRENCY 141
as are above mentioned, whether as holding Offices, as
Tenants, or as Debtors, must at least appear to be against
a large Addition ; because, if they do not, they must sensibly
feel their present Interest hurt. And besides these, there
are, doubtless, many well-meaning Gentlemen and Others,
who, without any immediate private Interest of their own
in View, are against making such an Addition, thro' an
Opinion they may have of the Honesty and sound Judg-
ment of some of their Friends that oppose it (perhaps for
the Ends aforesaid), without having given it any thorough
Consideration themselves. And thus it is no Wonder if
there is a powerful Party on that Side.
On the other Hand, those who are Lovers of Trade, and
delight to see Manufactures encouraged, will be for having
a large Addition to our Currency: For they very well
know, that People will have little Heart to advance Money
in Trade, when what they can get is scarce sufficient to
purchase Necessaries, and supply their Families with Pro-
visions. Much less will they lay it out in advancing new
Manufactures; nor is it possible new Manufactures should
turn to any Account, where there is not Money to pay the
Workmen, who are discouraged by being paid in Goods,
because it is a great Disadvantage to them.
Again. Those, who are truly for the Proprietor's In-
terest (and have no separate Views of their own that are
predominant), will be heartily for a large Addition: Be-
cause, as I have shewn above, Plenty of Money will for
several Reasons make Land rise in Value exceedingly:
And I appeal to those immediately concerned for the Pro-
prietor in the Sale of his Lands, whether Land has not risen
very much since the first Emission of what Paper Currency
I 4 2 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
we now have, and even by its Means. Now we all know
the Proprietary has great Quantities to sell.
And since a Plentiful Currency will be so great a Cause
of advancing this Province in Trade and Riches, and in-
creasing the Number of its People; which, tho' it will not
sensibly lessen the Inhabitants of Great Britain, will occa-
sion a much greater Vent and Demand for their Commodi-
ties here ; and allowing that the Crown is the more powerful
for its Subjects increasing in Wealth and Number, I cannot
think it the Interest of England to oppose us in making as
great a Sum of Paper Money here, as we, who are the best
Judges of our own Necessities, find convenient. And if I
were not sensible that the Gentlemen of Trade in England,
to whom we have already parted with our Silver and Gold,
are misinformed of our Circumstances, and therefore en-
deavour to have our Currency stinted to what it now is, I
should think the Government at Home had some Reasons
for discouraging and impoverishing this Province, which
we are not acquainted with.
It remains now that we enquire, Whether a large Addition
to our Paper Currency will not make it sink in Value very
much. And here it will be requisite that we first form just
Notions of the Nature and Value of Money in general.
As Providence has so ordered it, that not only different
Countries, but even different Parts of the same Country,
have their peculiar most suitable Productions; and like-
wise that different Men have Geniuses adapted to Variety
of different Arts and Manufactures, Therefore Commerce,
or the Exchange of one Commodity or Manufacture for
another, is highly convenient and beneficial to Mankind.
As for Instance, A may be skilful in the Art of making Cloth,
1729] PAPER CURRENCY 143
and B understand the raising of Corn; A wants Corn, and
B Cloth; upon which they make an Exchange with each
other for as much as each has Occasion, to the mutual Ad-
vantage and Satisfaction of both.
But as it would be very tedious, if there were no other
Way of general Dealing, but by an immediate Exchange of
Commodities; because a Man that had Corn to dispose of,
and wanted Cloth for it, might perhaps, in his Search for
a Chapman to deal with, meet with twenty People that had
Cloth to dispose of, but wanted no Corn; and with twenty
others that wanted his Corn, but had no Cloth to suit him
with; to remedy such Inconveniences, and facilitate Ex-
change, Men have invented MONEY, properly called a Me-
dium of Exchange, because through or by its Means Labour
is exchanged for Labour, or one Commodity for another.
And whatever particular Thing Men have agreed to make
this Medium of, whether Gold, Silver, Copper, or Tobacco,
it is, to those who possess it (if they want any Thing), that
very Thing which they want, because it will immediately
procure it for them. It is Cloth to him that wants Cloth,
and Corn to those that want Corn ; and so of all other Neces-
saries, it is whatsoever it will procure. Thus he who had
Corn to dispose of, and wanted to purchase Cloth with it,
might sell his Corn, for its Value in this general Medium,
to one who wanted Corn but had no Cloth; and with this
Medium he might purchase Cloth of him that wanted no
Corn, but perhaps some other Thing, as Iron it may be,
which this medium will immediately procure, and so he
may be said to have exchanged his Cloth for Iron ; and thus
the general Exchange is soon performed, to the Satisfaction
of all Parties, with abundance of Facility.
144 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
For many Ages, those Parts of the World which are en-
gaged in Commerce, have fixed upon Gold and Silver as
the chief and most proper Materials for this Medium; they
being in themselves valuable Metals for their Fineness,
Beauty, and Scarcity. By these, particularly by Silver, it
has been usual to value all Things else. But as Silver itself
is of no certain permanent Value, being worth more or less
according to its Scarcity or Plenty, therefore it seems requi-
site to fix upon Something else, more proper to be made
a Measure of Values, and this I take to be Labour. 1
By Labour may the Value of Silver be measured as well
as other Things. As, Suppose one Man employed to raise
Corn, while another is digging and refining Silver; at the
Year's End, or at any other Period of Time, the compleat
Produce of Corn, and that of Silver, are the natural Price
of each other; and if one be twenty Bushels, and the other
twenty Ounces, then an Ounce of that Silver is worth the
Labour of raising a Bushel of that Corn. Now if by the
Discovery of some nearer, more easy or plentiful Mines, a
man may get Forty Ounces of Silver as easily as formerly
he did Twenty, and the same Labour is still required to
raise Twenty Bushels of Corn, then Two Ounces of Silver
will be worth no more than the same Labour of raising one
Bushel of Corn, and that Bushel of Corn will be as cheap at
two Ounces, as it was before at one, cceteris paribus.
Thus the Riches of a Country are to be valued by the
Quantity of Labour its Inhabitants are able to purchase,
and not by the Quantity of Silver and Gold they possess;
which will purchase more or less Labour, and therefore is
1 Franklin states this doctrine in 1729, precisely as Adam Smith does forty-
six years afterwards in The Wealth of Nations. W. PHILLIPS.
1729] PAPER CURRENCY 145
more or less valuable, as is said before, according to its
Scarcity or Plenty. As those Metals have grown much
more plentiful in Europe since the discovery of America, 1
so they have sunk in Value exceedingly; for, to instance in
England, formerly one Penny of Silver was worth a Days
Labour, but now it is hardly worth the sixth Part of a
Days Labour ; because not less than Sixpence will purchase
the Labour of a Man for a Day in any Part of that Kingdom ;
which is wholly to be attributed to the much greater Plenty
of Money now in England than formerly. And yet perhaps
England is in Effect no richer now than at that Time; be-
cause as much Labour might be purchas'd, or Work got
done of almost any kind, for 100 1. then, as will .now require
or is now worth 600 1.
In the next Place let us consider the Nature of Banks
emitting Bills of Credit, as they are at this Tune used in
Hamburgh, Amsterdam, London, and Venice.
Those Places being Seats of vast Trade, and the Payment
of great Sums being for that Reason frequent, Bills of Credit
are found very convenient in Business; because a great
Sum is more easily counted in Them, lighter in Carriage,
concealed in less Room, and therefore safer in Travelling
or Laying up, and on many other Accounts they are very
much valued. The Banks 'are the general Cashiers of all
Gentlemen, Merchants, and great Traders in and about
1 This passage shows, that the theory, as to the effect of the South Ameri-
can mines upon the rate of money prices and the reduction of the value of
the precious metals, so elaborately set forth and reasoned out by Adam Smith,
was quite a familiar notion when he was but six years old ; the correctness
of which, however, to the extent laid down by Franklin in this place, and
afterwards by Smith, has of late years been gravely questioned by very
respectable writers. W. PHILLIPS.
VOL. II L
I 4 6 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
those Cities ; there they deposit their Money, and may take
out Bills to the Value, for which they can be certain to have
Money again at the Bank at any Time. This gives the
Bills a Credit; so that in England they are never less valu-
able than Money, and in Venice and Amsterdam they are
generally worth more. And the Bankers, always reserving
Money in hand to answer more than the common Run of
Demands (and some People constantly putting in while
others are taking out), are able besides to lend large Sums,
on good Security, to the Government or others, for a reason-
able Interest, by which they are paid for their Care and
Trouble; and the Money, which otherwise would have
lain dead in their Hands, is made to circulate again thereby
among the People. And thus the Running Cash of the
nation is, as it were, doubled; for all great Payments being
made in Bills, Money in lower Trade becomes much more
plentiful; And this is an exceeding great Advantage to a
Trading Country, that is not overstocked with Gold and
Silver.
As those, who take Bills out of the Banks in Europe, put
in Money for Security; so here, and in some of the neigh-
bouring Provinces, we engage our Land. Which of these
Methods will most effectually secure the Bills from actually
sinking in Value, comes next to be considered.
Trade in general being nothing else but the Exchange of
Labour for Labour, the Value of all Things is, as I have said
before, most justly measured by Labour. Now suppose
I put my Money into a Bank, and take out a Bill for the
Value; if this Bill at the Time of my receiving it, would
purchase me the Labour of one hundred Men for twenty
Days, but some time after will only purchase the Labour
1729] PAPER CURRENCY 147
of the same Number of Men for fifteen Days, it is plain the
Bill has sunk in Value one fourth Part. Now, Silver and
Gold being of no permanent Value, and as this Bill is founded
on Money, and therefore to be esteemed as such, it may be
that the Occasion of this Fall is the increasing Plenty of
Gold and Silver, by which Money is one fourth Part less
valuable than before, and therefore one fourth more is given
of it for the same Quantity of Labour; and if Land is not
become more plentiful by some proportionate Decrease of
the People, one fourth Part more of Money is given for the
same Quantity of Land; whereby it appears, that it would
have been more profitable to me to have laid that Money out
in Land which I put into the Bank, than to place it there
and take a Bill for it. And it is certain that the Value of
Money has been continually sinking in England for several
Ages past, because it has been continually increasing in
Quantity. But if Bills could be taken out of a Bank in
Europe on a Land Security, it is probable the Value of such
Bills would be more certain and steady, because the Number
of Inhabitants continues to be near the same in those Coun-
tries from age to age.
For, as Bills issued upon Money Security are Money,
so Bills issued upon Land, are in effect Coined, Land,.
Therefore, (to apply the Above to our own Circumstances)
if Land in this Province was falling, or any way likely to
fall, it would behove the Legislature most carefully to con-
trive how to prevent the Bills issued upon Land from falling
with it. But, as our People increase exceedingly, and will
be further increased, as I have before shewn, by the Help
of a large Addition to our Currency, and as Land in conse-
quence is continually rising, So, in case no Bills are emitted
148 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
but what are upon Land Security, the Money-Acts in every
Part punctually enforced and executed, the Payments of
Principal and Interest being duly and strictly required, and
the Principal bond, -fide sunk according to Law, it is absolutely
impossible such Bills should ever sink below their first
Value, or below the Value of the Land, on which they are
founded. In short, there is so little Danger of their sinking,
that they would certainly rise as the Land rises, if they were
not emitted in a proper Manner for preventing it. That is,
by providing in the Act, That Payment may be made, either
in those Bills, or in any other Bills made current by any Act
of the Legislature of this Province; and that the Interest,
as it is received, may be again emitted in Discharge of Pub-
lick Debts; whereby circulating, it returns again into the
Hands of the Borrowers, and becomes Part of their future
Payments; and thus, as it is likely there will not be any
Difficulty for want of Bills to pay the Office, they are hereby
kept from rising above their first Value. For else, supposing
there should be emitted upon mortgaged Land its full pres-
ent Value in Bills ; as in the Banks in Europe the full Value
of the Money deposited is given out in Bills ; and supposing
the Office would take nothing but the same Sum in those
Bills in Discharge of the Land; as in the Banks aforesaid
the same Sum in their Bills must be brought in, in order to
receive out the Money; in such Case the Bills would most
surely rise in Value as the Land rises; as certainly as the
Bank Bills founded on Money would fall, if that Money
was falling. Thus if I were to mortgage to a Loan-Office,
or Bank, a Parcel of Land now valued at 100 1. in Silver,
and receive for it the like Sum in Bills, to be paid in again
at the Expiration of a certain Term of Years ; before which
1 729] PAPER CURRENCY 149
my Land rising in Value, becomes worth 150 1. in Silver;
'Tis plain, that if I have not these Bills in Possession, and
the Office will take nothing but these Bills, or else what it
is now become worth in Silver, hi Discharge of my Land ; I
say it appears plain, that those Bills will now be worth 150 1.
in Silver to the Possessor, and if I can purchase them for less,
in order to redeem my Land, I shall by so much be a Gainer.
I need not say any Thing to convince the Judicious that
our Bills have not yet sunk, tho' there is and has been some
Difference between them and Silver; because it is evident
that that Difference is occasioned by the Scarcity of the
latter, which is now become a Merchandize, rising and
falling, like other Commodities as there is a greater or less
Demand for it, or as it is more or less Plenty.
Yet farther, in order to make a true Estimate of the Value
of Money, we must distinguish between Money as it is
Bullion, which is Merchandize, and as by being coin'd it
is made a Currency: For its Value as a Merchandize, and
its Value as a Currency, are two distinct Things; and each
may possibly rise and fall in some Degree independent of
the other. Thus, if the Quantity of Bullion increases in a
Country, it will proportionably decrease in Value; but if
at the same Time the Quantity of current coin should de-
crease, (supposing Payments may not be made in Bullion)
what Coin there is will rise in Value as a Currency, i.e.
People will give more Labour in Manufactures for a certain
Sum of ready Money.
In the same Manner must we consider a Paper Currency
founded on Land ; as it is Land, and as it is a Currency.
Money as Bullion, or as Land, is valuable by so much
labour as it costs to procure that Bullion or Land.
150 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
Money as a Currency has an Additional Value by so much
Time and Labour as it saves in the Exchange of Commodities.
If, as a Currency, it saves one Fourth Part of the Time
and Labour of a Country; it has, on that Account, one
Fourth added to its original Value.
When there is no Money in a Country, all Commerce
must be by Exchange. Now, if it takes one fourth Part
of the Time and Labour of a Country, to exchange or get
their Commodities exchanged; then, in computing their
Value, that Labour of Exchanging must be added to the
Labour of manufacturing those Commodities. But if that
Time or Labour is saved by introducing Money sufficient,
then the additional Value on Account of the Labour or
Exchanging may be abated, and Things sold for only the
Value of the Labour in making them; because the People
may now in the same Time make one Fourth more in Quan-
tity of Manufactures than they could before.
From these Considerations it may be gathered, that in all
the Degrees between having no Money in a Country, and
Money sufficient for the trade, it will rise and fall in Value
as a Currency, in Proportion to the Decrease or Increase of
its Quantity : And if there may be at some Time more than
enough, the Overplus will have no Effect towards making
the Currency as a Currency of less Value than when there
was but enough; because such Overplus will not be used
in Trade, but be some other way disposed of.
If we enquire, How much per cent Interest ought to be
required upon the Loan of these Bills, we must consider what
is the Natural Standard of Usury: And this appears to be,
where the Security is undoubted, at least the Rent of so
much Land as the Money lent will buy: For it cannot be
1729] PAPER CURRENCY 151
expected, that any Man will lend his Money for less than
it would fetch him in as Rent if he laid it out in Land, which
is the most secure Property in the World. But if the Secu-
rity is casual, then a kind of Ensurance must be enterwoven
with the simple natural Interest, which may advance the
Usury very conscionably to any height below the Principal
itself. Now among us, if the Value of Land is twenty
Years Purchase, Five per cent is the just Rate of Interest
for Money lent on undoubted Security. Yet if Money
grows scarce in a Country it becomes more difficult for
People to make punctual Payments of what they borrow,
Money being hard to be raised; likewise Trade being dis-
couraged and Business impeded for want of a Currency,
abundance of People must be in declining Circumstances,
and by these Means Security is more precarious than where
Money is plenty. On such Accounts it is no wonder if
People ask a greater interest for their Money than the natural
Interest; and what is above is to be look'd upon as a kind
of Premium for the Ensurance of those Uncertainties, as
they are greater or less. Thus we always see, that where
Money is scarce, Interest is high, and low where it is plenty.
Now it is certainly the Advantage of a Country to make
Interest as low as possible, as I have already shewn; and
this can be done no other way than by making Money plen-
tiful. And since, in Emitting Paper Money among us, the
Office has the best of Security, the Titles to the Land being
all skilfully and strictly examined and ascertained; and as
it is only permitting the People by Law to coin their own
Land, which costs the Government nothing, the Interest
being more, than enough to pay the Charges of Printing,
Officers' Fees, &c., I cannot see any good Reason why
1 52 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
Four per cent to the Loan- Office should not be thought fully
sufficient. As a low Interest may incline more to take
Money out, it will become more plentiful in Trade; and
this may bring down the common Usury, in which Security
is more dubious, to the pitch it is determined at by law.
If it should be objected, that Emitting it at so low an In-
terest, and on such easy Terms, will occasion more to be taken
out than the Trade of the Country really requires : It may be
answered, That, as has already been shewn, there can never
be so much of it emitted as to make it fall below the Land it
is founded on; because no Man in his Senses will mortgage
his Estate for what is of no more Value to him than That he
has mortgaged, especially if the Possession of what he re-
ceives is more precarious than of what he mortgages, as
that of Paper Money is when compared to Land: And if
it should ever become so plenty by indiscreet Persons con-
tinuing to take out a large Overplus, above what is necessary
in Trade, so as to make People imagine it would become
by that Means of less Value than their mortgaged Lands,
they would immediately of Course begin to pay it in again
to the Office to redeem their Land, and continue to do so
till there was no more left in Trade than was absolutely
necessary. And thus the Proportion would find itself (tho j
there were a Million too much in the Office to be let out),
without giving any one the Trouble of Calculation.
It may, perhaps, be objected to what I have written con-
cerning the Advantages of a large Addition to our Currency,
That if the People of this Province increase, and Husbandry
is more followed we shall overstock the Markets with our
Produce of Flower, &c. To this it may be answered, that
we can never have too many People (nor too much Money.)
1729] PAPER CURRENCY 153
For when one Branch of Trade or Business is overstocked
with Hands there are the more to spare to be employed in
another. So if raising Wheat proves dull, more may (if
there is Money to support and carry on new Manufactures)
proceed to the raising and manufacturing of Hemp, Silk,
Iron, and many other Things the Country is very capable of,
for which we only want People to work, and Money to pay
them with.
Upon the Whole it may be observed, That it is the highest
Interest of a Trading Country in general to make Money
plentiful; and that it can be a Disadvantage to none that
have honest Designs. It cannot hurt even the Usurers,
though it should sink what they receive as Interest ; because
they will be proportionably more secure in what they lend;
or they will have an Opportunity of employing their Money
to greater Advantage to themselves as well as to the Coun-
try. Neither can it hurt those Merchants, who have great
Sums outstanding in Debts in the Country, and seem on that
Account to have the most plausible Reason to fear it; to
wit, because a large Addition being made to our Currency
will increase the Demand of our Exporting Produce, and by
that Means raise the Price of it, so that they will not be
able to purchase so much Bread or Flower with 100 1. when
they shall receive it after such an Addition, as they now can,
and may if there is no Addition. I say it cannot hurt even
such, because they will get in their Debts just in exact Pro-
portion so much the easier and sooner as the Money becomes
plentier ; and therefore, considering the Interest and Trouble
saved, they will not be Losers; because it only sinks in
Value as a Currency, proportionally as it becomes more
plenty. It cannot hurt the Interest of Great Britain, as has
154 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
been shewn ; and it will greatly advance the Interest of the
Proprietor. It will be an Advantage to every industrious
Tradesman, &c., because his Business will be carried on
more freely, and Trade be universally enlivened by it. And
as more Business in all Manufactures will be done, by so
much as the Labour and Time spent in Exchange is saved,
the Country in general will grow so much the richer.
It is nothing to the Purpose to object the wretched Fall
of the Bills in New England and South Carolina, unless it
might be made evident that their Currency was emitted with
the same Prudence and on such good Security, as ours is;
and it certainly was not.
As this Essay is wrote and published in Haste, and the
Subject in itself intricate, I hope I shall be censured with
Candour, if, for want of Time carefully to revise what I
have written, in some Places I should appear to have ex-
press'd myself too obscurely, and in others am liable to
Objections I did not foresee. I sincerely desire to be ac-
quainted with the Truth, and on that Account shall think
myself obliged to any one who will take the Pains to shew
me or the Publick, where I am mistaken in my Conclusions.
And as we all know there are among us several Gentlemen
of acute Parts and profound Learning, who are very much
against any Addition to our Money, it were to be wished that
they would favour the Country with their Sentiments on
this Head in Print; which, supported with Truth and good
Reasoning, may probably be very convincing. And this is
to be desired the rather because many People, knowing
the Abilities of those Gentlemen to manage a good Cause,
are apt to construe their Silence in This, as an Argument
of a bad One. Had any Thing of that Kind ever yet ap-
1729] PREFACE TO THE PENNSYLVANIA GAZETTE 155
peared, perhaps I should not have given the Publick this
Trouble. But as those ingenious Gentlemen have not
yet (and I doubt never will) think it worth their concern
to enlighten the Minds of their erring Countrymen in this
Particular, I think it would be highly commendable in every
one of us, more fully to bend our Minds to the Study of
What is the true Interest of Pennsylvania; whereby we may
be enabled, not only to reason pertinently with one another ;
but, if Occasion requires, to transmit Home such clear
Representations, as must inevitably convince our Superiors
of the Reasonableness and Integrity of our Designs.
Philadelphia, April (sic) 3, 1729.
12. PREFACE TO THE PENNSYLVANIA
GAZETTE, 1 OCTOBER 2, 1729 (L.C.P.)
The Pennsylvania Gazette being now to be carry'd on
by other Hands, the Reader may expect some Account of
the Method we design to proceed in.
Upon a view of Chambers's great Dictionaries, from whence
were taken the Materials of the Universal Instructor in all
Arts and Sciences, which usually made the First Part of this
Paper, we find that besides their containing many Things
abstruse or insignificant to us, it will probably be fifty Years
before the Whole can be gone thro' in this Manner of Pub-
lication. There are likewise in those Books continual
1 In consequence of the merry war made upon him in the columns of the
Mercury, Keimer's credit in business declined, and he was forced to sell his
printing house and to go to Barbadoes. His newspaper passed into Franklin's
hands, and with No. 40 (October 2, 1729) shorn of the ponderous and mean-
ingless part of its title, The Pennsylvania Gazette began a new existence.
The Preface announces Franklin's editorial intentions. ED.
156 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1729
References from Things under one Letter of the Alphabet
to those under another, which relate to the same Subject,
and are necessary to explain and compleat it; these taken
in their Turn may perhaps be Ten Years distant ; and since
it is likely that they who desire to acquaint themselves with
any particular Art or Science, would gladly have the whole
before them in much less time, we believe our Readers will
not think such a Method of communicating Knowledge to
be a proper One.
However, tho' we do not intend to continue the Publica-
tion of those Dictionaries in a regular Alphabetical Method,
as has hitherto been done; yet as several Things exhibited
from them in the Course of these Papers, have been enter-
taining to such of the Curious, who never had and cannot
have the Advantage of good Libraries; and as there are
many Things still behind, which being in this Manner made
generally known, may perhaps become of considerable Use,
by giving such Hints to the excellent natural Genius's of
our Country, as may contribute either to the Improvement
of our present Manufactures, or towards the Invention of
new Ones ; we propose from Time to Time to communicate
such particular Parts as appear to be of the most general
Consequence.
As to the "Religious Courtship," Part of which has been
retal'd to the Publick in these Papers, the Reader may be
inform'd, that the whole Book will probably in a little Time
be printed and bound up by itself; and those who approve
of it, will doubtless be better pleas'd to have it entire, than
in this broken interrupted Manner.
There are many who have long desired to see a good
News-Paper in Pennsylvania; and we hope those Gentle-
1730] DIALOGUE OF PHILOCLES AND HORATIO 157
men who are able, will contribute towards the making This
such. We ask Assistance, because we are fully sensible,
that to publish a good News-Paper is not so easy an Under-
taking as many People imagine it to be. The Author of
a Gazette (in the Opinion of the Learned) ought to be quali-
fied with an extensive Acquaintance with Languages, a
great Easiness and Command of Writing and Relating
Things clearly and intelligibly, and in few Words ; he should
be able to speak of War both by Land and Sea ; be well
acquainted with Geography, with the History of the Time,
with the several Interests of Princes and States, the Secrets
of Courts, and the Manners and Customs of all Nations.
Men thus accomplish'd are very rare in this remote Part
of the World; and it would be well if the Writer of these
Papers could make up among his Friends what is wanting
in himself.
Upon the Whole, we may assure the Publick, that as far
as the Encouragement we meet with will enable us, no Care
and Pains shall be omitted, that may make the Pennsylvania
Gazette as agreeable and useful an Entertainment as the
Nature of the Thing will allow.
13. A DIALOGUE BETWEEN PHILOCLES AND
HORATIO, MEETING ACCIDENTALLY IN THE
FIELDS, CONCERNING VIRTUE AND PLEAS-
URE 1
Philocles. My friend Horatio! I am very glad to see
you; prithee, how came such a Man as you alone? and
1 From The Pennsylvania Gazette, June 23, 1730. See "Autobiog-
raphy," Vol. I, page 343. ED.
158 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1730
musing too? What Misfortune in your Pleasures has sent
you to Philosophy for Relief?
Horatio. You guess very right, my dear Philocles! We
Pleasure-hunters are never without 'em; and yet, so en-
chanting is the Game ! we can't quit the Chace. How calm
and undisturbed is your Life ! How free from present Em-
barassments and future Cares! I know you love me, and
look with Compassion upon my Conduct; Shew me then
the Path which leads up to that constant and invariable
Good, which I have heard you so beautifully describe, and
which you seem so fully to possess.
Phil. There are few Men in the World I value more
than you, Horatio! for amidst all your Foibles and painful
Pursuits of Pleasure, I have oft observed in you an honest
Heart, and a Mind strongly bent towards Virtue. I wish,
from my Soul, I could assist you in acting steadily the Part
of a reasonable Creature; for, if you would not think it a
Paradox, I should tell you I love you better than you do
yourself.
Hor. A Paradox indeed! Better than I do myself!
When I love my dear self so well, that I love every Thing
else for my own sake.
Phil. He only loves himself well, who rightly and judi-
ciously loves himself.
Hor. What do you mean by that, Philocles! You Men
of Reason and Virtue are always dealing in Mysteries, tho'
you laugh at 'em when the Church makes 'em. I think he
loves himself very well and very judiciously too, as you call
it, who allows himself to do whatever he pleases.
Phil. What, though it be to the Ruin and Destruction
of that very Self which he loves so well ! That Man alone
1730] DIALOGUE OF PHILOCLES AND HORATIO 159
loves himself rightly, who procures the greatest possible
Good to himself thro' the whole of his Existence; and so
pursues Pleasure as not to give for it more than 'tis worth.
Hor. That depends all upon Opinion. Who shall
judge what the Pleasure is worth? Supposing a pleasing
Form of the fair Kind strikes me so much, that I can enjoy
nothing without the Enjoyment of that one Object. Or,
that Pleasure hi general is so favorite a Mistress, that I will
take her as Men do their Wives, for better, for worse ; mind
no Consequences, nor regarding what's to come. Why
should I not do it?
Phil. Suppose, Horatio, that a Friend of yours entred
into the World about Two-and-Twenty, with a healthful
vigorous Body, and a fair plentiful Estate of about Five
Hundred Pounds a Year; and yet, before he had reached
Thirty, should, by following his Pleasures, and not, as you
say, duly regarding Consequences, have run out of his Es-
tate, and disabled his Body to that Degree, that he had
neither the Means nor Capacity of Enjoyment left, nor any
Thing else to do but wisely shoot himself through the Head
to be at rest ; what would you say to this unfortunate Man's
Conduct? Is it wrong by Opinion or Fancy only? Or
is there really a Right and Wrong in the Case? Is not one
Opinion of Life and Action juster than another? Or, one
Sort of Conduct preferable to another? Or, does that
miserable Son of Pleasure appear as reasonable and lovely
a Being in your Eyes, as a Man who, by prudently and
rightly gratifying his natural Passions, had preserved his
Body in full Health, and his Estate entire, and enjoy'd
both to a good old Age, and then died with a thankful Heart
for the good Things he had received, and with an entire
160 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1730
Submission to the Will of Him who first called him into
Being? Say, Horatio! are these Men equally wise and
happy ? And is every Thing to be measured by mere Fancy
and Opinion, without considering whether that Fancy or
Opinion be right?
Hor. Hardly so neither, I think; yet sure the wise
and good Author of Nature could never make us to plague
us. He could never give us Passions, on purpose to sub-
due and conquer 'em ; nor produce this Self of mine, or any
other self, only that it may be denied; for that is denying
the Works of the great Creator himself. Self-denial, then,
which is what I suppose you mean by Prudence, seems to
me not only absurd, but very dishonourable to that Supreme
Wisdom and Goodness, which is supposed to make so
ridiculous and Contradictious a Creature, that must be
always fighting with himself in order to be at rest, and
undergo voluntary Hardships in order to be happy: Are
we created sick, only to be commanded to be Sound? Are
we born under one Law, our Passions, and yet bound to
another, that of Reason? Answer me, Philocles, for I am
warmly concerned for the Honour of Nature, the Mother
of us all.
Phil. I find, Horatio, my two Characters have af-
frighted you ; so that you decline the Trial of what is Good,
by reason : And had rather make a bold Attack upon Provi-
dence; the usual Way of you Gentlemen of Fashion, who,
when by living in Defiance of the eternal Rules of Reason,
you have plunged yourselves into a thousand Difficulties,
endeavour to make yourselves easy by throwing the Burden
upon Nature. You are, Horatio, in a very miserable Con-
dition indeed ; for you say you can't be happy if you controul
1730] DIALOGUE OF PHILOCLES AND HORATIO 161
your Passions; and you feel yourself miserable by an un-
restrained Gratification of 'em; so that here's Evil, irre-
mediable Evil, either way.
Hor. That is very true, at least it appears so to me:
Pray, what have you to say, Philodes! in Honour of Nature
or Providence; methinks I'm hi Pain for her: How do
you rescue her? poor Lady!
Phil. This, my dear Horatio, I have to say; that what
you find Fault with and clamour against, as the most terrible
Evil in the World, Self-denial; is really the greatest Good,
and the highest Self-gratification: If indeed, you use the
Word in the Sense of some weak sour Moralists, and much
weaker Divines, you'll have just Reason to laugh at it; but
if you take it, as understood by Philosophers and Men of
Sense, you will presently see her Charms, and fly to her
Embraces, notwithstanding her demure Looks, as abso-
lutely necessary to produce even your own darling sole
Good, Pleasure: For, Self-denial is never a Duty, or a
reasonable Action, but as 'tis a natural Means of procuring
more Pleasure than you can taste without it so that this
grave, Saintlike Guide to Happiness, as rough and dreadful
as she has been made to appear, is in truth the kindest and
most beautiful Mistress in the World.
Hor. Prithee, Philodes! do not wrap yourself hi Alle-
gory and Metaphor. Why do you teaze me thus? I
long to be satisfied, what this Philosophical Self-denial is;
the Necessity and Reason of it; I'm impatient, and all on
Fire; explain, therefore, in your beautiful, natural easy
Way of Reasoning, what I'm to understand by this grave
Lady of yours, with so forbidding, downcast Looks, and
yet so absolutely necessary to my Pleasures. I stand ready
VOL. II M
1 62 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1730
to embrace her; for you know, Pleasure I court under all
Shapes and Forms.
Phil. Attend then, and you'll see the Reason of this
Philosophical Self-denial. There can be no absolute Per-
fection in any Creature; because every Creature is derived,
and dependent: No created Being can be All- wise, All-
good, and All-powerful, because his Powers and Capacities
are finite and limited; consequently whatever is created
must, in its own Nature, be subject to Error, Irregularity,
Excess, and Disorder. All intelligent, rational Agents find
in themselves a Power of judging what kind of Beings they
are; what Actions are proper to preserve 'em, and what
Consequences will generally attend them, what Pleasures
they are form'd for, and to what Degree their Natures are
capable of receiving them. All we have to do then, Hora-
tio, is to consider, when we are surpriz'd with a new Object,
and passionately desire to enjoy it, whether the gratifying
that Passion be consistent with the gratifying other Passions
and Appetites, equal if not more necessary to us. And
whether it consists with our Happiness To-morrow, next
Week, or next Year ; for, as we all wish to live, we are obliged
by Reason to take as much Care for our future, as our pres-
ent Happiness, and not build one upon the Rums of t'other.
But, if thro' the Strength and Power of a present Passion,
and thro' want of attending to Consequences, we have err'd
and exceeded the Bounds which Nature or Reason have
set us; we are then, for our own Sakes, to refrain, or deny
ourselves a present momentary Pleasure for a future, con-
stant and durable one: So that this Philosophical Self-
denial is only refusing to do an Action which you strongly
desire ; because 'tis inconsistent with your Health, Fortunes,
1730] DIALOGUE OF PHILOCLES AND HORATIO 163
or Circumstances in the World ; or, in other Words, because
'twould cost you more than 'twas worth. You would lose
by it, as a Man of Pleasure. Thus you see, Horatio I that
Self-denial is not only the most reasonable, but the most
pleasant Thing in the World.
Hor. We are just coming into Town, so that we can't
pursue this Argument any farther at present; you have
said a great deal for Nature, Providence, and Reason:
Happy are they who can follow such divine Guides.
Phil. Horatio! good Night; I wish you wise in your
Pleasures.
Hor. I wish, Philodes! I could be as wise in my Pleas-
ures as you are pleasantly Wise ; your Wisdom is agreeable,
your Virtue is amiable, and your Philosophy the highest
Luxury. Adieu! thou enchanting Reasoner!
A SECOND DIALOGUE BETWEEN PHILOCLES
AND HORATIO, CONCERNING VIRTUE AND
PLEASURE l
Philodes. Dear Horatio! where hast thou been these
three or four Months? What new Adventures have you
fallen upon since I met you in these delightful, all-inspiring
Fields, and wondred how such a Pleasure-hunter as you
could bear being alone?
Horatio. O Philodes, thou best of Friends, because a
Friend to Reason and Virtue, I am very glad to see you.
Don't you remember, I told you then, that some Misfor-
tunes in my Pleasures had sent me to Philosophy for Relief?
1 From The Pennsylvania Gazette, July 9, 1730.
164 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1730
But now I do assure you, I can, without a Sigh, leave other
Pleasures for those of Philosophy; I can hear the Word
Reason mentioned, and Virtue praised, without Laughing.
Don't I bid fair for Conversion, think you ?
Phil. Very fair, Horatio! for I remember the Time
when Reason, Virtue, and Pleasure, were the same Thing
with you : When you counted nothing Good but what pleas'd,
nor any thing Reasonable but what you got by; When you
made a Jest of a Mind, and the Pleasures of Reflection, and
elegantly plac'd your sole Happiness, like the rest of the
Animal Creation, in the Gratifications of Sense.
Hor. I did so: But in our last Conversation, when
walking upon the Brow of this Hill, and looking down on
that broad, rapid River, and yon widely-extended beauti-
fully-varied Plain, you taught me another Doctrine: You
shewed me, that Self-denial, which above all Things I
abhorred, was really the greatest Good, and the highest
Self-gratification, and absolutely necessary to produce even
my own darling sole Good, Pleasure.
Phil. True: I told you that Self-denial was never a
Duty but when it was a natural Means of procuring more
Pleasure than we could taste without it: That as we all
strongly desire to live, and to live only to enjoy, we should
take as much Care about our future as our present Happi-
ness; and not build one upon the Ruins of 'tother: That
we should look to the End, and regard Consequences: and
if, thro' want of Attention we had err'd, and exceeded the
Bounds which Nature had set us, we were then obliged, for
our own Sakes, to refrain or deny ourselves a present mo-
mentary Pleasure for a future, constant, and durable Good.
Hor. You have shewn, Philodes, that Self-denial, which
1730] DIALOGUE OF PHILOCLES AND HORATIO 165
weak or interested Men have rendred the most forbidding,
is really the most delightful and amiable, the most reason-
able and pleasant Thing in the World. In a Word, if I
understand you aright, Self-denial is, in Truth, Self-recog-
nising, Self-acknowledging, or Self-owning. But now, my
Friend ! you are to perform another Promise ; and shew
me the Path which leads up to that constant, durable, and
invariable Good, which I have heard you so beautifully
describe, and which you seem so fully to possess: Is not
this Good of yours a mere Chimera? Can any Thing be
constant in a World which is eternally changing ! and which
appears to exist by an everlasting Revolution of one Thing
into another, and where every Thing without us, and every
Thing within us, is in perpetual Motion? What is this
constant, durable Good, then, of yours? Prithee, satisfy
my Soul, for I'm all on Fire, and impatient to enjoy her.
Produce this eternal blooming Goddess with never-fading
Charms, and see, whether I won't embrace her with as
much Eagerness and Rapture as you.
Phil. You seem enthusiastically warm, Horatio; I will
wait till you are cool enough to attend to the sober, dispas-
sionate Voice of Reason.
Hor. You mistake me, my dear Philocles! my Warmth
is not so great as to run away with my Reason: it is only
just raised enough to open my Faculties, and fit them to
receive those eternal Truths, and that durable Good, which
you so triumphantly boasted of. Begin, then ; I'm prepared.
Phil. I will. I believe, Horatio! with all your Skep-
ticism about you, you will allow that Good to be constant
which is never absent from you, and that to be durable,
which never Ends but with your Being.
1 66 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1730
Hor. Yes, go on.
Phil. That can never be the Good of a Creature, which
when present, the Creature may be miserable, and when
absent, is certainly so.
Hor. I think not; but pray explain what you mean;
for I am not much used to this abstract Way of Reasoning.
Phil. I mean all the Pleasures of Sense. The Good of
Man cannot consist in the mere Pleasures of Sense ; because,
when any one of those Objects which you love is absent,
or can't be come at, you are certainly miserable: and if
the Faculty be impair'd, though the Object be present, you
can't enjoy it. So that this sensual Good depends upon a
thousand Things without and within you, and all out of
your Power. Can this then be the Good of Man? Say,
Horatio! what think you, Is not this a chequer'd, fleeting,
fantastical Good? Can that, in any propriety of Speech,
be called the Good of Man which even, while he is tasting,
he may be miserable; and which when he cannot taste, he
is necessarily so? Can that be our Good, which costs us
a great deal of Pains to obtain; which cloys in possessing;
for which we must wait the Return of Appetite before we
can enjoy again? Or, is that our Good, which we can
come at without Difficulty; which is heightened by Posses-
sion, which never ends in Weariness and Disappointment;
and which, the more we enjoy, the better qualified we are
to enjoy on?
Hor. The latter, I think; but why do you torment me
thus? Philoclesl shew me this Good immediately.
Phil. I have shewed you what 'tis not ; it is not sensual,
but 'tis rational and moral Good. It is doing all the Good
we can to others, by Acts of Humanity, Friendship, Gen-
1730] DIALOGUE OF PHILOCLES AND HORATIO 167
erosity, and Benevolence: This is that constant and dura-
ble Good, which will afford Contentment and Satisfaction
always alike, without Variation or Diminution. I speak
to your Experience now, Horatio I Did you ever find your-
self weary of relieving the Miserable? or of raising the
Distressed into Life or Happiness? Or rather, don't you
find the Pleasure grow upon you by Repetition, and that
'tis greater in the Reflection than in the Act itself? Is there
a Pleasure upon Earth to be compared with that which
arises from the Sense of making others happy? Can this
Pleasure ever be absent, or ever end but with your Being?
Does it not always accompany you? Doth not it lie down
and rise with you? live as long as you live? give you Con-
solation in the Article of Death, and remain with you in that
gloomy Hour, when all other Things are going to forsake
you, or you them?
Hor. How glowingly you paint, Philocles! Methinks
Horatio is amongst the Enthusiasts. I feel the Passion:
I am enchantingly convinced; but I don't know why:
Overborn by something stronger than Reason. Sure some
Divinity speaks within me; but prithee, Philocles, give
me cooly the Cause, why this rational and moral Good so
infinitely excels the meer natural or sensual.
Phil. I think, Horatio! that I have clearly shewn you
the Difference between merely natural or sensual Good,
and rational or moral Good. Natural or sensual Pleasure
continues no longer than the Action itself; but this divine
or moral Pleasure continues when the Action is over, and
swells and grows upon your Hand by Reflection: The one
is inconstant, unsatisfying, of short Duration, and attended
with numberless Ills ; the other is constant, yields full Satis-
168 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1730
faction, is durable, and no Evils preceding, accompanying,
or following it. But, if you enquire farther into the Cause
of this Difference, and would know why the moral Pleasures
are greater than the sensual; perhaps the Reason is the
same as in all other Creatures, That their Happiness or
chief Good consists in acting up to their chief Faculty, or
that Faculty which distinguishes them from all Creatures
of a different Species. The chief Faculty in a Man is his
Reason; and consequently his chief Good; or that which
may be justly called his Good, consists not merely in Action,
but in reasonable Action. By reasonable Actions, we un-
derstand those Actions which are preservative of the human
Kind, and naturally tend to produce real and unmixed
Happiness; and these Actions, by way of Distinction, we
call Actions morally Good.
Hor. You speak very clearly, Philodes! but, that no
Difficulty may remain upon my Mind, pray tell me what is
the real Difference between natural Good and 111, and moral
Good and 111 ? for I know several People who use the Terms
without Ideas.
Phil. That may be: The Difference lies only in this;
that natural Good and 111 is Pleasure and Pain: Moral
Good and 111 is Pleasure or Pain produced with Intention
and Design; for 'tis the Intention only that makes the
Agent morally Good or Bad.
Hor. But may not a Man, with a very good Intention,
do an ill Action?
Phil. Yes, but, then he errs in his Judgment, tho' his
Design be good. If his Error is inevitable, or such as, all
Things considered, he could not help, he is inculpable:
But if it arose through want of Diligence in forming his
1730] DIALOGUE OF PHILOCLES AND HORATIO 169
Judgment about the Nature of human Actions, he is immoral
and culpable.
Hor. I find, then, that hi order to please ourselves
rightly, or to do good to others morally, we should take
great Care of our Opinions.
Phil. Nothing concerns you more; for, as the Happi-
ness or real Good of Men consists in right Action, and right
Action cannot be produced without right Opinion, it be-
hoves us, above all Things in this World, to take Care that
our Opinions of Things be according to the Nature of
Things. The Foundation of all Virtue and Happiness is
Thinking rightly. He who sees an Action is right, that is,
naturally tending to Good, and does it because of that Ten-
dency, he only is a moral Man; and he alone is capable of
that constant, durable, and invariable Good, which has
been the Subject of this Conversation.
Hor. How, my dear philosophical Guide, shall I be
able to know, and determine certainly, what is Right and
Wrong in Life?
Phil. As easily as you distinguish a Circle from a Square,
or Light from Darkness. Look, Horatio, into the sacred
Book of Nature; read your own Nature, and view the Re-
lation which other Men stand in to you, and you to them;
and you'll immediately see- what constitutes human Happi-
ness, and consequently what is Right.
Hor. We are just coming into Town, and can say no
more at present. You are my good Genius, Philocles.
You have shewed me what is good. You have redeemed
me from the Slavery and Misery of Folly and Vice, and
made me a free and happy Being.
Phil. Then I am the happiest Man in the World.
I 7 o THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1730
Be steady, Horatio! Never depart from Reason and
Virtue.
Hor. Sooner will I lose my Existence. Good Night,
Philocles.
Phil. Adieu! dear Horatio!
14. A WITCH TRIAL AT MOUNT HOLLY *
"SATURDAY last, at Mount-Holly, about 8 Miles from this
Place 2 near 300 People were gathered together to see an Ex-
periment or two tried on some Persons accused of Witchcraft.
It seems the Accused had been charged with making their
Neighbours' Sheep dance in an uncommon Manner, and
with causing Hogs to speak and sing Psalms, etc., to the
great Terror and Amazement of the king's good and peace-
able Subjects in this Province; and the Accusers, being
very positive that if the Accused were weighed in Scales
against a Bible, the Bible would prove too heavy for them;
or that, if they were bound and put into the River they
would swim; the said Accused, desirous to make Innocence
appear, voluntarily offered to undergo the said Trials if 2
of the most violent of their Accusers would be tried with
them. Accordingly the Time and Place was agreed on and
advertised about the Country; The Accusers were i Man
and i Woman: and the Accused the same. The Parties
being met and the People got together, a grand Consulta-
tion was held, before they proceeded to Trial; in which it
was agreed to use the Scales first ; and a Committee of Men
were appointed to search the Men, and a Committee of
1 From The Pennsylvania Gazette, October 22, 1730.
2 Burlington, New Jersey.
1730] A WITCH TRIAL AT MOUNT HOLLY 171
Women to search the Women, to see if they had any Thing
of Weight about them, particularly Pins. After the Scru-
tiny was over a huge great Bible belonging to the Justice
of the Place was provided, and a Lane through the Populace
was made from the Justice's House to the Scales, which
were fixed on a Gallows erected for that Purpose opposite
to the House, that the Justice's Wife and the rest of the
Ladies might see the Trial without coming amongst the
Mob, and after the Manner of Moorfields a large Ring
was also made. Then came out of the House a grave, tall
Man carrying the Holy Writ before the supposed Wizard
etc, (as solemnly as the Sword-bearer of London before the
Lord Mayor) the Wizard was first put in the Scale, and over
him was read a Chapter out of the Books of Moses, and
then the Bible was put in the other Scale, (which, being
kept down before) was immediately let go; but, to the great
Surprize of the Spectators, Flesh and Bones came down
plump, and outweighed that great good Book by abundance.
After the same Manner the others were served, and their
Lumps of Mortality severally were too heavy for Moses
and all the Prophets and Apostles. This being over, the
Accusers and the rest of the Mob, not satisfied with this
Experiment, would have the Trial by Water. Accordingly
a most solemn Procession was made to the Mill-pond, where
both Accused and Accusers being stripped (saving only to
the Women their Shifts) were bound Hand and Foot and
severally placed in the Water, lengthways, from the Side of
a Barge or Flat, having for Security only a Rope about the
Middle of each, which was held by some hi the Flat. The
accused man being thin and spare with some Difficulty
began to sink at last ; but the rest, every one of them, swam
172 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1731
very light upon the Water. A Sailor in the Flat jump'd
out upon the Back of the Man accused thinking to drive
him down to the Bottom; but the Person bound, without
any Help, came up some time before the other. The Wo-
man Accuser being told that she did not sink, would be
duck'd a second Time; when she swam again as light as
before. Upon which she declared, That she believed the
Accused had bewitched her to make her so light, and that
she would be duck'd again a Hundred Times but she would
duck the Devil out of her. The Accused Man, being sur-
priz'd at his own Swimming, was not so confident of his
Innocence as before, but said, 'If I am a Witch, it is more
than I know.' The more thinking Part of the Spectators
were of Opinion that any Person so bound and placed in
the Water (unless they were mere Skin and Bones) would
swim, till their Breath was gone, and their Lungs fill'd with
Water. But it being the general Belief of the Populace
that the Women's shifts and the Garters with which they
were bound help'd to support them, it is said they are to be
tried again the next warm Weather, naked."
15. AN APOLOGY FOR PRINTERS 1
BEING frequently censur'd and condemn'd by different
Persons for printing Things which they say ought not to
be printed, I have sometimes thought it might be necessary
to make a standing Apology for my self, and publish it once
a Year, to be read upon all Occasions of that Nature. Much
1 From The Pennsylvania Gazette, June 10, 1731.
1731] AN APOLOGY FOR PRINTERS 173
Business has hitherto hindered the execution of this Design ;
but having very lately given extraordinary Offence by print-
ing an Advertisement with a certain N. B. at the End of it,
I find an Apology more particularly requisite at this Junc-
ture, tho' it happens when I have not yet Leisure to write
such a Thing in the proper Form, and can only in a loose
manner throw those Considerations together which should
have been the Substance of it.
I request all who are angry with me on the Account of
printing things they don't like, calmly to consider these
following Particulars.
1. That the Opinions of Men are almost as various as
their Faces; an Observation general enough to become a
common Proverb, So many Men so many Minds.
2. That the Business of Printing has chiefly to do with
Mens Opinions; most things that are printed tending to
promote some, or oppose others.
3. That hence arises the peculiar Unhappiness of that
Business, which other Callings are no way liable to; they
who follow Printing being scarce able to do any thing in
their way of getting a Living, which shall not probably
give Offence to some, and perhaps to many; whereas the
Smith, the Shoemaker, the Carpenter, or the Man of any
other Trade, may work indifferently for People of all Per-
suasions, without offending any of them : and the Merchant
may buy and sell with Jews, Turks, Hereticks and Infidels
of all sorts, and get Money by every one of them, without
giving Offence to the most orthodox, of any sort ; or suffer-
ing the least Censure or 111 will on the Account from any
Man whatever.
4. That it is as unreasonable in any one Man or Set of
174 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1731
Men to expect to be pleas'd with every thing that is printed,
as to think that nobody ought to be pleas'd but them-
selves.
5. Printers are educated in the Belief, that when Men
differ in Opinion, both Sides ought equally to have the
Advantage of being heard by the Publick; and that when
Truth and Error have fair Play, the former is always an
overmatch for the latter: Hence they chearfully serve all
contending Writers that pay them well, without regarding
on which side they are of the Question in Dispute.
6. Being thus continually employ'd in serving both
Parties, Printers naturally acquire a vast Unconcernedness
as to the right or wrong Opinions contain'd in what they
print ; regarding it only as the Matter of their daily labour :
They print things full of Spleen and Animosity, with the
utmost Calmness and Indifference, and without the least
Ill-will to the Persons reflected on; who nevertheless un-
justly think the Printer as much their Enemy as the Author,
and join both together in their Resentment.
7. That it is unreasonable to imagine Printers approve
of every thing they print, and to censure them on any
particular thing accordingly; since in the way of their
Business they print such great variety of things opposite
and contradictory. It is likewise as unreasonable what
some assert, "That Printers ought not to print any Thing
but what they approve;" since if all of that Business should
make such a Resolution, and abide by it, an End would
thereby be put to Free Writing, and the World would after-
wards have nothing to read but what happen'd to be the
Opinions of Printers.
8. That if all Printers were determin'd not to print any
1731] AN APOLOGY FOR PRINTERS 175
thing till they were sure it would offend no body, there would
be very little printed.
9. That if they sometimes print vicious or silly things
not worth reading, it may not be because they approve such
things themselves, but because the People are so viciously
and corruptly educated that good things are not encouraged.
I have known a very numerous Impression of Robin Hood's
Songs go off in this Province at 25. per Book, in less than a
Twelvemonth; when a small Quantity of David's Psalms
(an excellent Version) have lain upon my Hands above
twice the Time.
10. That notwithstanding what might be urg'd in be-
half of a Man's being allow'd to do in the Way of his Busi-
ness whatever he is paid for, yet Printers do continually
discourage the Printing of great Numbers of bad things,
and stifle them in the Birth. I my self have constantly
refused to print anything that might countenance Vice,
or promote Immorality; tho' by complying in such Cases
with the corrupt Taste of the Majority I might have got
much Money. I have also always refus'd to print such
things as might do real Injury to any Person, how much
soever I have been solicited, and tempted with Offers of
Great Pay; and how much soever I have by refusing got
the Ill-will of those who would have employ'd me. I have
hitherto fallen under the Resentment of large Bodies of
Men, for refusing absolutely to print any of their Party or
Personal Reflections.- In this Manner I have made my self
many Enemies, and the constant Fatigue of denying is
almost insupportable. But the Publick being unacquainted
with all this, whenever the poor Printer happens either
through Ignorance or much Persuasion, to do any thing
176 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1731
that is generally thought worthy of Blame, he meets with
no more Friendship or Favour on the above Account, than
if there were no Merit in't at all. Thus, as Waller says,
Poets lose half the Praise they would have got
Were it but known what they discreetly blot ;
Yet are censur'd for every bad Line found in their Works
with the utmost Severity.
I come now to the Particular Case of the N. B. above
mention'd, about which there has been more Clamour
against me, than ever before on any other Account. In
the Hurry of other Business an Advertisement was brought
to me to be printed; it signified that such a Ship lying at
such a Wharff, would sail for Barbadoes in such a Time,
and that Freighters and Passengers might agree with the
Captain at such a Place; so far is what's common: But
at the Bottom this odd Thing was added, "N. B. No Sea
Hens nor Black Gowns will be admitted on any Terms."
I printed it, and receiv'd my Money; and the Advertise-
ment was stuck up round the Town as usual. I had not
so much Curiosity at that time as to enquire the Meaning
of it, nor did I in the least imagine it would give so much
Offence. Several good Men are very angry with me on
this Occasion; they are pleas'd to say I have too much
Sense to do such things ignorantly ; that if they were Printers
they would not have done such a thing on any Considera-
tion; that it could proceed from nothing but my abundant
Malice against Religion and the Clergy. They therefore
declare they will not take any more of my Papers, nor have
any farther Dealings with me; but will hinder me of all
the Custom they can. All this is very hard!
1 73i] AN APOLOGY FOR PRINTERS 177
I believe it had been better if I had refused to print the
said Advertisement. However, 'tis done, and cannot be
revok'd. I have only the following few Particulars to offer,
some of them in my behalf, by way of Mitigation, and some
not much to the Purpose; but I desire none of them may
be read when the Reader is not in a very good Humour.
1. That I really did it without the least Malice, and
imagin'd the N. B. was plac'd there only to make the Adver-
tisement star'd at, and more generally read.
2. That I never saw the Word Sea-Hens before in my
Life; nor have I yet ask'd the meaning of it; and tho' I
had certainly known that Black Gowns in that place sig-
nified the Clergy of the Church of England, yet I have that
confidence in the generous good Tempei of such of them
as I know, as to be well satisfied such a trifling mention of
their Habit gives them no Disturbance.
3. That most of the Clergy in this and the neighbouring
Provinces, are my Customers, and some of them my very
good Friends; and I must be very malicious indeed, or
very stupid, to print this thing for a small Profit, if I had
thought it would have given them just Cause of Offence.
4. That if I had much Malice against the Clergy, and
withal much Sense ; 'tis strange I never write or talk against
the Clergy myself. Some have observed that 'tis a fruit-
ful Topic, and the easiest to be witty upon of all others;
yet I appeal to the Publick that I am never guilty this way,
and to all my Acquaintances as to my Conversation.
5. That if a Man of Sense had Malice enough to desire
to injure the Clergy, this is the foolishest Thing he could
possibly contrive for that Purpose.
6. That I got Five Shillings by it.
VOL. II N
178 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1731
7. That none who are angry with me would have given
me so much to let it alone.
8. That if all the People of different Opinions in this
Province would engage to give me as much for not printing
things they don't like, as I can get by printing them, I should
probably live a very easy Life; and if all Printers were
everywhere so dealt by, there would be very little printed.
9. That I am oblig'd to all who take my Paper, and am
willing to think they do it out of meer Friendship. I only
desire they would think the same when I deal with them.
I thank those who leave off, that they have taken it so long.
But I beg they would not endeavour to dissuade others,
for that will look like Malice.
10. That 'tis impossible any Man should know what he
would do if he was a Printer.
11. That notwithstanding the Rashness and Inexperi-
ence of Youth, which is most likely to be prevail'd with to
do things that ought not to be done; yet I have avoided
printing such Things as usually give Offence either to
Church or State, more than any Printer that has followed
the Business in this Province before.
12. And lastly, That I have printed above a Thousand
Advertisements which made not the least mention of Sea-
Hens or Black Gowns; and this being the first Offence,
I have the more Reason to expect Forgiveness.
I take leave to conclude with an old Fable, which some
of my Readers have heard before, and some have not.
"A certain well-meaning Man and his Son, were travel-
ling towards a Market Town, with an Ass which they had
to sell. The Road was bad; and the old Man therefore
rid, but the Son went a-foot. The first Passenger they
1 73 1] AN APOLOGY FOR PRINTERS 179
met, asked the Father if he was not ashamed to ride by
himself, and suffer the poor Lad to wade along thro' the
Mire; this induced him to take up his Son behind him:
He had not travelled far, when he met others, who said,
they are two unmerciful Lubbers to get both on the Back
of that poor Ass, in such a deep Road. Upon this the old
Man gets off, and let his Son ride alone. The next they
met called the Lad a graceless, rascally young Jackanapes,
to ride in that Manner thro' the Dirt, while his aged Father
trudged along on Foot; and they said the old Man was a
Fool, for suffering it. He then bid his Son come down,
and walk with him, and they travell'd on leading the Ass by
the Halter; 'till they met another Company, who called
them a Couple of senseless Blockheads, for going both on
Foot in such a dirty Way, when they had an empty Ass
with them, which they might ride upon. The old Man
could bear no longer; My Son, said he, it grieves me much
that we cannot please all these People. Let me throw the
Ass over the next Bridge, and be no further troubled with
him."
Had the old Man been seen acting this last Resolution,
he would probably have been called a Fool for troubling
himself about the different Opinions of all that were pleas'd
to find Fault with him: Therefore, tho' I have a Temper
almost as complying as his, I intend not to imitate him in
this last Particular. I consider the Variety of Humors
among Men, and despair of pleasing every Body; yet I
shall not therefore leave off Printing. I shall continue
my Business. I shall not burn my Press and melt my
Letters.
l8o THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1731
16. TO MRS. JANE MECOM 1
Jane Franklin was married to Edward Mecom, of Boston, July 27, 1727.
PHILADELPHIA, June 19, 1731.
DEAR SISTER,
Yours of May 26th I received, with the melancholy news
of the death of sister Davenport, a loss without doubt re-
gretted by all that knew her, for she was a good woman. 3
Her friends ought, however, to be comforted that they have
enjoyed her so long, and that she has passed through the
world happily, having never had any extraordinary mis-
fortune or notable affliction, and that she is now secure
in rest, in the place provided for the virtuous. I had before
heard of the death of your first child, and am pleased that
the loss is in some measure made up to you by the birth of
a second.
We have had the smallpox here lately, which raged vio-
lently while it lasted. There have been about fifty persons
inoculated, who all recovered except a child of the doctor's
upon whom the smallpox appeared within a day or two
after the operation, and who is therefore thought to have
been certainly infected before. In one family in my neigh-
bourhood there appeared a great mortality. Mr. George
Claypoole (a descendant of Oliver Cromwell) 3 had, by
industry, acquired a great estate, and being in excellent
business, a merchant, would probably have doubled it, had
1 Printed from " A Collection of the Familiar Letters of Benjamin Frank-
lin." Boston (Jared Sparks), 1833.
2 Sarah Franklin, born January 9, 1699, married to Joseph Davenport, and
died May 23, 1731.
8 Elizabeth, daughter of Oliver Cromwell, married John Claypoole, whose
brother George established the family of that name in Philadelphia. ED.
1 73 1] TO MRS. JANE MECOM 181
he lived according to the common course of years. He
died first, suddenly ; within a short time died his best negro ;
then one of his children; then a negro woman; then two
children more, buried at the same time; then two more;
so that I saw two double buryings come out of the house
in one week. None were left in the family, but the mother
and one child, and both their lives till lately despaired of;
so that all the father's wealth, which everybody thought,
a little while ago, had heirs enough, and no one would have
given sixpence for the reversion, was in a few weeks brought
to the greatest probability of being divided among strangers ;
so uncertain are all human affairs. The dissolution of
this family is generally ascribed to an imprudent use of
quicksilver in the cure of the itch, Mr. Claypoole apply-
ing it as he thought proper, without consulting a physician
for fear of charges; and the smallpox coming upon them
at the same time made their case desperate.
But what gives me the greatest concern, is the account
you give me of my sister Holmes's 1 misfortune. I know
a cancer in the breast is often thought incurable; yet we
have here in town a kind of shell made of some wood, cut
at a proper time, by some man of great skill, (as they say,)
which has done wonders in that disease among us, being
worn for some time on the breast. I am not apt to be super-
stitiously fond of believing such things, but the instances
are so well attested, as sufficiently to convince the most
incredulous.
This, if I have interest enough to procure, as I think I
have, I will borrow for a time, and send it to you, and hope
the doctors you have will at least allow the experiment to
1 Mary Franklin, born September 26, 1694, married Robert Holmes.
1 82 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1732
be tried, and shall rejoice to hear it has the accustomed
effect.
You have mentioned nothing in your letter of our dear
parents; but I conclude they are well, because you say
nothing to the contrary. I want to hear from sister Dowse, 1
and to know of her welfare, as also of my sister Lydia, 2
who I hear is lately married. I intended to have visited
you this summer, but printing the paper money here has
hindered me near two months, and our Assembly will sit
the 2d of August next, at which time I must not be absent ;
but I hope to see you this fall. I am your affectionate
brother, B. FRANKLIN.
17. LETTER FROM ANTHONY AFTER WIT 8
MR. GAZETTEER,
I am an honest Tradesman, who never meant Harm to
anyBody. My Affairs went on smoothly while a Batchelor ;
but of late I have met with some Difficulties, of which I
take the Freedom to give you an Account.
About the Time I first address'd my present Spouse,
her Father gave out in Speeches, that if she married a Man
he liked, he would give with her 200 on the Day of Mar-
riage. 'Tis true he never said so to me, but he always
receiv'd me very kindly at his House, and openly coun-
tenanc'd my Courtship. I form'd several fine Schemes
what to do with this same 200, and in some Measure
1 Elizabeth (Franklin) Dowse, eldest child of Josiah and Anne Franklin,
born at Ecton, March 2, 1677.
2 Lydia Franklin, born August 8, 1708, married Robert Scott, 1731.
8 From The Pennsylvania Gazette, July 10, 1 732.
1732] LETTER FROM ANTHONY AFTERWIT 183
neglected my Business on that Account: But unluckily it
came to pass, that when the old Gentleman saw I was pretty
well engag'd, and that the Match was too far gone to be
easily broke off; he, without any Reason given, grew very
angry, forbid me the House, and told his Daughter, that
if she married me he would not give her a Farthing. How-
ever, (as he foresaw) we were not to be disappointed in
that Manner, but, having stole a Wedding, I took her home
to my House, where we were not in quite so poor a Con-
dition as the Couple describ'd in the Scotch Song, who had
" Neither Pot nor Pan,
But four bare Legs together, 1 '
for I had a House tolerably furnished for an ordinary Man
before. No thanks to Dad, who, I understand, was very
much pleased with his politick Management. And I have
since learn'd, that there are other old Curmudgeons (so
called) besides him, who have this Trick to marry their
Daughters, and yet keep what they might well spare, till
they can keep it no longer; But this by way of Digression;
a Word to the Wise is enough.
I soon saw, that with Care and Industry we might live
tolerably easy and in Credit with our Neighbours; But
my Wife had a strong Inclination to be a Gentlewoman.
In Consequence of this, my old-fashioned Looking-Glass
was one Day broke, as she said, No Mortal could tell "which
way. However, since we could not be without a Glass in
the Room, "My Dear," says she, "we may as well buy a
large fashionable One, that Mr. Such-a-one has to sell;
It will cost but little more than a common Glass, and will
be much handsomer and more creditable." Accordingly,
1 84 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1732
the Glass was bought and hung against the Wall: But in
a Week's time I was made sensible, by little and little, that
the Table was by no means suitable to such a Glass. And
a more proper Table being procur'd, my Spouse, who was
an excellent Contriver, inform'd me where we might have
very handsome Chairs in the Way; and thus by Degrees
I found all my old Furniture stow'd up in the Garret, and
every thing below alter'd for the better.
Had we stopp'd here, it might have done well enough;
but my Wife being entertain'd with Tea by the Good Women
she visited, we could do no less than the like when they
visited us; and so we got a Tea-Table with all its Appur-
tenances of China and Silver. Then my Spouse unfortu-
nately overwork'd herself in washing the House, so that
we could do no longer without a Maid. Besides this, it
happened frequently, that when I came home at One, the
Dinner was but just put in the Pot, and my Dear thought
really it had been but Eleven : At other Times, when I came
at the same Hour, She wondered I would stay so long, for
Dinner was ready and had waited for me these two Hours.
These Irregularities occasioned by mistaking the Time,
convinced me, that it was absolutely necessary to buy a
Clock, which my Spouse observ'd was a great Ornament
to the Room! And lastly, to my Grief, she was frequently
troubled with some Ailment or other, and nothing did her
so much Good as Riding; And these Hackney Horses were
such wretched ugly Creatures that I bought a very fine
pacing Mare, which cost 20; and hereabouts Affairs
have stood for some Months past.
I could see all along, that this Way of Living was utterly
inconsistent with my Circumstances, but had not Resolu-
1732] LETTER FROAf ANTHONY AFTER WIT 185
tion enough to help it. Till lately, receiving a very severe
Dun, which mention'd the next Court, I began in earnest
to project Relief. Last Monday, my Dear went over the
River to see a Relation and stay a Fortnight, because she
could not bear the Heat of the Town. In the Interim I
have taken my Turn to make Alterations ; viz, I have turn'd
away the Maid, Bag and Baggage, (for what should we do
with a Maid, who have except my Boy none but ourselves ?)
I have sold the fine Pacing Mare, and bought a good Milch
Cow with 3 of the Money. I have dispos'd of the Tea
Table, and put a Spinning- Wheel in its Place, which me-
thinks looks very pretty : Nine empty Canisters I have stuff'd
with Flax, and with some of the Money of the Tea-Furni-
ture I have bought a Set of Knitting-Needles ; for to tell
you a truth, which I would have go no farther, / begin to
want Stockings. The stately Clock I have transform'd into
an Hour- Glass, by which I have gain'd a good round Sum,
and one of the Pieces of the old Looking- Glass, squar'd and
fram'd, supplies the Place of the Great One, which I have
convey'd into a Closet, where it may possibly remain some
Years. In short, the Face of Things is quite changed ; and I
am mightily pleased when I look at my Hour-Glass. What
an Ornament it is to the Room ! I have paid my Debts
and find Money in my Pocket. I expect my Dame home
next Friday, and, as your Paper is taken in at the House
where she is, I hope the Reading of this will prepare her
Mind for the above surprizing Revolutions. If she can
conform to this new Scheme of Living, we shall be the hap-
piest Couple perhaps in the Province, and by the Blessing
of God may soon be in thriving Circumstances. I have
reserv'd the great Glass, because I know her Heart is set
186 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1732
upon it; I will allow her, when she comes in, to be taken
suddenly ill with the Head-ach, the Stomach-ach, Fainting
Fits, or whatever other Disorder she may think more proper,
and she may retire to Bed as soon as she pleases: But, if
I do not find her in perfect Health, both of Body and Mind,
the next Morning, away goes the aforesaid Great Glass,
with several other Trinkets I have no Occasion for, to the
Vendue that very Day. Which is the irrevocable Resolution
Of, Sir, Her loving Husband, and
Your very humble Servant,
ANTHONY AFTERWIT.
Postscript. You know we can return to our former Way of
Living, when we please, if Dad will be at the Expence of it.
18. LETTER FROM CELIA SINGLE 1
MR. GAZETTEER,
I must needs tell you, that some of the Things you print
do more Harm than Good; particularly I think so of my
Neighbour the Tradesman's Letter, in one of your late
Papers, which has broken the Peace of several Families, by
causing Difference between Men and their Wives: I shall
give you one Instance, of which I was an Eye and Ear Wit-
ness.
Happening last Wednesday Morning to be in at Mrs.
C ss's, when her Husband return'd from Market, among
other Things which he had bought he show'd her some
Balls of Thread. "My Dear," says he, "I like mightily
those Stockings, which I yesterday saw Neighbour Afterwit
1 From The Pennsylvania Gazette, July 24, 1732.
1732] LETTER FROM CELIA SINGLE 187
knitting for her Husband, of Thread of her own Spinning.
I should be glad to have some such stockins myself: I un-
derstand that your Maid Mary is a very good Knitter, and
seeing this Thread in Market, I have bought it, that the
Girl may make a Pair or two for me." Mrs. Careless was
just then at the Glass, dressing her Head, and turning about
with the Pins in her Mouth, "Lord, Child," says she, "are
you crazy? What Time has Mary to knit? Who must
do the W T ork, I wonder, if you set her to Knitting?" "Per-
haps, my Dear," says he, "you have a mind to knit 'em
yourself; I remember, when I courted you, I once heard
you say, that you had learn'd to knit of your Mother." "I
knit Stockins for you!" says she; "not I truly! There
are poor Women enough in Town, that can knit; if you
please, you may employ them." "Well, but my Dear,"
says he, "you know a penny sav'd is a penny got, A pin a
day is a groat a year, every little makes a muckle, and there
is neither Sin nor Shame in Knitting a pair of Stockins;
why should you express such a mighty Aversion to it? As
to poor Women, you know we are not People of Quality,
we have no Income to maintain us but what arises from my
Labour and Industry: Methinks you should not be at all
displeas'd, if you have an Opportunity to get something as
well as myself."
"I wonder," says she, "how you can propose such a thing
to me; did not you always tell me you would maintain me
like a Gentlewoman? If I had married Captain , he
would have scorn'd even to mention Knitting of Stockins "
"Prithee," says he, (a little nettled,) "what do you tell me
of your Captains? If you could have had him, I suppose
you would, or perhaps you did not very well like him. If
1 88 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1732
I did promise to maintain you like a Gentlewoman, I suppose
'tis time enough for that, when you know how to behave
like one; Meanwhile 'tis your Duty to help make me able.
How long, d'ye think, I can maintain you at your present
Rate of Living?" "Pray," says she, (somewhat fiercely,
and dashing the Puff into the Powder-Box,) "don't use me
after this Manner, for I assure you I won't bear it. This
is the Fruit of your poison Newspapers; there shall come
no more here, I promise you." "Bless us," says he, "what
an unaccountable thing is this? Must a Tradesman's
Daughter, and the Wife of a Tradesman, necessarily and
instantly be a Gentlewoman? You had no Portion; I am
forc'd to work for a Living ; you are too great to do the like ;
there's the Door, go and live upon your Estate, if you can
find it ; in short, I don't desire to be troubled w' ye."
What Answer she made, I cannot tell; for, knowing that
a Man and his Wife are apt to quarrel more violently when
before Strangers, than when by themselves, I got up and
went out hastily: But I understood from Mary, who came
to me of an Errand in the Evening, that they dined together
pretty peaceably, (the Balls of Thread that had caused the
Difference being thrown into the Kitchen Fire,) of which I
was very glad to hear.
I have several times in your Paper seen severe Reflections
upon us Women, for Idleness and Extravagance, but I do
not remember to have once seen any such Animadversions
upon the Men. If I were dispos'd to be censorious, I could
furnish you with Instances enough. I might mention Mr.
Billiard, who spends more than he earns at the Green Table,
and would have been in Jail long since, were it not for his
industrious Wife: Mr. Husslecap, who, often all day long,
1732] LETTER FROM ALICE ADDERTONGUE 189
leaves his Business for the rattling of Half-pence, in a cer-
tain Alley: Mr. Finikin, who has seven different Suits of
fine cloaths, and wears a Change every Day, while his Wife
and Children sit at home half naked : Mr. Crownhim, who
is always dreaming over the Chequer-Board, and cares not
how the World goes, so he gets the game : Mr. T'otherpot,
the Tavern-haunter; Mr. Bookish, the everlasting Reader;
Mr. Toot-a-toot, and several others, who are mighty diligent
at any thing beside their Business. I say, if I were disposed
to be censorious, I might mention all these and more, but I
hate to be thought a Scandalizer of my Neighbours, and
therefore forbear; and for your part, I would advise you
for the future to entertain your Readers with something
else, besides People's Reflections upon one another; for
remember, that there are Holes enough to be pick'd in your
Coat, as well as others, and those that are affronted by the
Satyrs you may publish, will not consider so much who
wrote as who printed: Take not this Freedom amiss from
Your Friend and Reader,
CELIA SINGLE.
19. LETTER FROM ALICE ADDERTONGUE 1
MR. GAZETTEER,
I was highly pleased with your last Week's Paper upon
SCANDAL, as the uncommon Doctrine therein preach'd is
agreeable both to my Principles and Practice, and as it was
published very seasonably to reprove the Impertinence of a
Writer in the foregoing Thursday's Mercury, who, at the
Conclusion. of one of his silly Paragraphs, laments forsooth,
1 From The Pennsylvania Gazette, September 12, 1732.
190 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1732
that the Fair Sex are so peculiarly guilty of this enormous
Crime: Every Blockhead, ancient and modern, that could
handle a Pen, has, I think, taken upon him to cant in the
same senseless Strain. If to scandalize be really a Crime,
what do these Puppies mean? They describe it, they dress
it up in the most odious, frightful, and detestable Colours,
they represent it as the worst of Crimes, and then roundly
and charitably charge the whole Race of Womankind with
it. Are not they then guilty of what they condemn, at the
same time that they condemn it? If they accuse us of any
other Crime, they must necessarily scandalize while they do
it; but to scandalize us with being guilty of Scandal, is in
itself an egregious Absurdity, and can proceed from nothing
but the most consummate Impudence in conjunction with
the most profound Stupidity.
This, supposing, as they do, that to scandalize is a Crime ;
which you have convinc'd all reasonable People is an Opin-
ion absolutely erroneous. Let us leave, then, these Ideot
Mock-Moralists, while I entertain you with some Account
of my Life and Manners.
I am a young Girl of about thirty-five, and live at present
with my Mother. I have no Care upon my Head of getting
a Living, and therefore find it my Duty, as well as Inclina-
tion, to exercise my Talent at Censure, for the Good of my
Country-Folks. There was, I am told, a certain generous
Emperor, who, if a Day had passed over his Head in which
he had conferred no Benefit on any Man, used to say to his
Friends, in Latin, Diem perdidi, that is, it seems, / have
lost a Day. I believe I should make use of the same Ex-
pression, if it were possible for a Day to pass in which I
had not, or miss'd, an Opportunity to scandalize somebody :
1732] LETTER FROM ALICE ADDERTONGUE 191
But, Thanks be praised, no such Misfortune has befel me
these dozen Years.
Yet, whatever Good I may do, I cannot pretend that I
first entred into the Practice of this Virtue from a Principle
of Publick Spirit; for I remember, that, when a Child, I
had a violent Inclination to be ever talking in my own Praise ;
and being continually told that it was ill Manners, and once
severely whipt for it, the confin'd Stream form'd itself a
new Channel, and I began to speak for the future in the
Dispraise of others. This I found more agreeable to Com-
pany, and almost as much so to myself: for what great
Difference can there be, between putting yourself up, or
putting your Neighbour down ? Scandal, like other Virtues,
is in part its own Reward, as it gives us the Satisfaction of
making ourselves appear better than others, or others no
better than ourselves.
My Mother, good Woman, and I, have heretofore differ'd
upon this Account. She argu'd, that Scandal spoilt all
good Conversation; and I insisted, that without it there
would be no such Thing. Our Disputes once rose so high,
that we parted Tea-Tables, and I concluded to entertain
my Acquaintance in the Kitchin. The first Day of this
Separation we both drank Tea at the same Time, but she
with her Visitors in the Parlor. She would not hear of the
least Objection to any one's Character, but began a new
sort of Discourse in some such queer philosophical Manner
as this; "I am mightily pleas'd sometimes," says she, "when
I observe and consider, that the World is not so bad as
People out of humour imagine it to be. There is some-
thing amiable, some good Quality or other, in every body.
If we were only to speak of People that are least respected,
I 9 2 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1732
there is such a one is very dutiful to her Father, and
methinks has a fine Set of Teeth; such a one is very respect-
ful to her Husband; such a one is very kind to her poor
Neighbours, and besides has a very handsome Shape ; such
a one is always ready to serve a Friend, and in my Opinion
there is not a Woman in Town that has a more agreeable
Air and Gait." This fine kind of Talk, which lasted near half
an Hour, she concluded by saying, "I do not doubt but every
one of you have made the like Observations, and I should
be glad -to have the Conversation continued upon this Sub-
ject." Just at that Juncture I peep'd in at the Door, and
never in my Life before saw such a Set of simple vacant
Countenances. They looked somehow neither glad, nor
sorry, nor angry, nor pleas'd, nor indifferent, nor attentive;
but (excuse the Simile) like so many blue wooden images of
Rie Doe. I in the Kitchin had already begun a ridiculous
Story of Mr. 's Intrigue with his Maid, and his Wife's
Behaviour upon the Discovery ; at some Passages we laugh'd
heartily, and one of the gravest of Mama's Company,
without making any Answer to her Discourse, got up to go
and see what the Girls "were so merry about: She was fol-
low'd by a Second, and shortly after by a Third, till at last
the old Gentlewoman found herself quite alone, and, being
convinc'd that her Project was impracticable, came herself
and finish'd her Tea with us ; ever since which Saul also has
been among the Prophets, and our Disputes lie dormant.
By Industry and Application, I have made myself the
Centre of all the Scandal in the Province, there is little
stirring, but I hear of it. I began the World with this
Maxim, that no Trade can subsist without Returns; and
accordingly, whenever I receiv'd a good Story, I endeavour'd
1732] LETTER FROM ALICE ADDERTONGUE 193
to give two or a better in the Room of it. My Punctuality
in this Way of Dealing gave such Encouragement, that it
has procur'd me an incredible deal of Business, which with-
out Diligence and good Method it would be impossible for
me to go through. For, besides the Stock of Defamation
thus naturally flowing in upon me, I practise an Art, by
which I can pump Scandal out of People that are the least
enclin'd that way. Shall I discover my Secret? Yes; to
let it die with me would be inhuman. If I have never heard
111 of some Person, I always impute it to defective Intelli-
gence; for there are none without their Faults, no, not one.
If she is a Woman, I take the first Opportunity to let all
her Acquaintance know I have heard that one of the hand-
somest or best Men in Town has said something in Praise
either of her Beauty, her Wit, her^Virtue, or her good Man-
agement. If you know any thing of Humane Nature, you
perceive that this naturally introduces a Conversation turn-
ing upon all her Failings, past, present, and to come. To
the same purpose, and with the same Success, I cause every
Man of Reputation to be praised before his Competitors in
Love, Business, or Esteem, on Account of any particular
Qualification. Near the Tunes of Election, if I find it
necessary, I commend every Candidate before some of the
opposite Party, listening attentively to what is said of him
in answer: (But Commendations in this latter Case are
not always necessary, and should be used judiciously;) of
late Years, I needed only observe what they said of one
another freely; and having for the Help of Memory, taken
Account of all Informations and Accusations received, who-
ever peruses my Writings after my Death, may happen to
think, that during a certain Term the People of Pennsyl-
VOL. II O
194 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1732
vania chose into all their Offices of Honour and Trust, the
veriest Knaves, Fools and Rascals in the whole Province.
The Time of Election used to be a busy Time with me,
but this Year, with Concern I speak it, People are grown so
good-natur'd, so intent upon mutual Feasting and friendly
Entertainment, that I see no Prospect of much Employment
from that Quarter.
I mention'd above, that without good Method I could
not go thro' my Business. In my Father's Lifetime I had
some Instruction in Accompts, which I now apply with Ad-
vantage to my own Affairs. I keep a regular Set of Books,
and can tell, at an Hour's Warning, how it stands between
me and the World. In my Daybook I enter every Article
of Defamation as it is transacted; for Scandals received in
I give Credit, and when I pay them out again I make the
Persons to whom they respectively relate Debtor. In my
Journal, I add to each Story, by way of Improvement, such
probable Circumstances as I think it will bear; and in my
Ledger the whole is regularly posted.
I suppose the Reader already condemns me in his Heart
for this particular of adding Circumstances; but I justify
that part of my Practice thus. 'Tis a Principle with me,
that none ought to have a greater Share of Reputation, than
they really deserve; if they have, 'tis an Imposition upon
the Publick. I know it is every one's Interest, and therefore
believe they endeavour to conceal all their Vices and Follies ;
and I hold that those People are extraordinary foolish or
careless, who suffer a Fourth of their Failings to come to
publick Knowledge. Taking then the common Prudence
and Imprudence of Mankind in a Lump, I suppose none
suffer above one Fifth to be discovered: Therefore, when
1732] LETTER FROM ALICE ADDERTONGUE 195
I hear of any person's Misdoing, I think I keep within
Bounds if in relating it I only make it three times worse than
it is ; and I reserve to myself the Privilege of charging them
with one Fault in four, which for aught I know, they may
be entirely innocent of. You see there are but few so care-
ful of doing Justice as myself. What Reason then have
Mankind to complain of Scandal? In a general way the
worst that is said of us is only half what might be said, if
all our Faults were seen.
But, alas! two great Evils have lately befaln me at the
same time ; an extream Cold, that I can scarce speak, and a
most terrible Tooth-ach, that I dare hardly open my Mouth :
For some Days past, I have receiv'd ten Stories for one I
have paid; and I am not able to ballance my Accounts
without your Assistance. I have long thought, that if you
would make your Paper a Vehicle of Scandal, you would
double the Number of your Subscribers. I send you here-
with Account of four Knavish Tricks, two * * *, 5 cu-
Id-ms, 3 drub'd Wives, and 4 henpeck'd Husbands, all
within this Fortnight ; which you may, as Articles of News,
deliver to the Publick ; and, if my Tooth-ach continues, shall
send you more, being in the mean time your constant Reader,
ALICE ADDERTONGUE.
I thank my Correspondent, Mrs. Addertongue, for her
Good Will, but desire to be excus'd inserting the Articles of
News she has sent me, such Things being in Reality no
News at all.
196 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1733
20. PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD, 1733 (P. H. s.)
COURTEOUS READER,
I might in this place attempt to gain thy Favour, by de-
claring that I write Almanacks with no other View than
that of the publick Good ; but in this I should not be sincere ;
and Men are now adays too wise to be deceiv'd by Pretences
how specious soever. The plain Truth of the Matter is,
I am excessive poor, and my Wife, good Woman, is, I tell
her, excessive proud; she cannot bear, she says, to sit spin-
ning in her Shift of Tow, while I do nothing but gaze at the
Stars; and has threatned more than once to burn all my
Books and Rattling-Traps (as she calls my Instruments)
if I do not make some profitable Use of them for the Good
of my Family. The Printer has offer'd me some consider-
able share of the Profits, and I have thus begun to comply
with my Dame's Desire.
Indeed this Motive would have had Force enough to have
made me publish an Almanack many Years since, had it
not been overpowered by my Regard for my good Friend and
Fellow Student Mr. Titan Leeds, whose Interest I was ex-
treamly unwilling to hurt: But this Obstacle (I am far
from speaking it with Pleasure) is soon to be removed,
since inexorable Death, who was never known to respect
Merit, has already prepared the mortal Dart, the fatal
Sister has already extended her destroying Shears, and that
ingenious Man must soon be taken from us. He dies, by
my Calculation made at his Request, on Oct. 17. 1733.
3 h. 29 m. P. M. at the very instant of the <5 of O and $ :
By his own Calculation he will survive till the 26th of the
PoorRicbard, 1733.
AN
Almanack
Forth* Year of Chrift
173
Being the Firft after LEAP TEAR
Yean
By the Account of the EaRm Cntks 7*41
By the Latin Chwrch, w**n O OJt^t* fyyz
By {he Computation of W.W. J742
By tha ftcmcr. QnantAogy $663
By JHc ^rw^ Kabbiet. 5494
Wherein if fffnfaitr&t
The Lunations, Eclipfes, Judgment of
the Wethsr, Spring Tid, PJns Motions Sc
muluil AfpeSs, Son end Moon's Riling and Set-
ting, LengtH of Dy, Tim*, of HighWft
fms, CoorU, end obfemble Days.
Fitted to the Latitude of Forty Xtegr*es,
apd & Meridian of Five Hours Weft from Ztwaw,
but miy viihout fcnP.bie Error, lerveal! the ad-
jic t nt Piters, dven iVom fJewfcumZaxl to A
CenHna.
By RICHARD S4UNDERS t hi\om.
PHILADELPHIA!
Printed and Told by' 9. FAAHKLII*. at the No
Printing-office near the Marltct
1733] PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD 197
same Month. This small Difference between us we have
disputed whenever we have met these 9 Years past; but at
length he is inclinable to agree with my Judgment: Which
of us is most exact, a little Time will now determine. As
therefore these Provinces may not longer expect to see any
of his Performances after this Year, I think my self free to
take up the Task, and request a share of the publick En-
couragement; which I am the more apt to hope for on this
Account, that the Buyer of my Almanack may consider
himself, not only as purchasing an useful Utensil, but as
performing an Act of Charity, to his poor Friend and Servant
R. SAUNDERS. 1
1 Titan Leeds replied in his " American Almanack " for 1 734 :
" Kind Reader, Perhaps it may be expected that I should say something
concerning an Almanack printed for the Year 1733, Said to be writ by Poor
Richard or Richard Saunders, who for want of other matter was pleased to
tell his Readers, that he had calculated my Nativity, and from thence predicts
my Death to be the I7th of October, 1733. At 22 min. past 3 a-Clock in the
Afternoon, and that these Provinces may not expect to see any more of his
( Titan Leeds) Performances, and this precise Predicter who predicts to a
Minute, proposes to succeed me in Writing of Almanacks ; but notwithstand-
ing his false Prediction, I have by the Mercy of God lived to write a Diary
for the Year 1734, and to publish the Folly and Ignorance of this presumptu-
ous Author. Nay, he adds another gross Falsehood in his said Almanack,
viz That by my own Calculation, I shall survive until the sbth of the said
Month, (October) which is as untrue as the former, for I do not pretend to
that Knowledge, altho' he has usurpt the Knowledge of the Almighty herein,
and manifested himself a Fool and a Lyar. And by the Mercy of God I have
lived to survive this conceited Scriblers Day and Minute whereon he has pre-
dicted my Death ; and as I have supplyed my Country with Almanacks for
three seven Years by past, to general Satisfaction, so perhaps I may live to
write when his Performances are Dead. Thus much from your annual
Friend, Titan Leeds. October 18, 1733, 3 ho. 33 min. P. M.
198 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1733
21. A MEDITATION ON A QUART MUGG '
WRETCHED, miserable, and unhappy Mug ! I pity thy luck-
less Lot, I commiserate thy Misfortunes, thy Griefs fill me
with Compassion, and because of thee are Tears made
frequently to burst from my Eyes.
How often have I seen him compelTd to hold up his
Handle at the Bar, for no other Crime than that of being
empty; then snatch'd away by a surly Officer, and plung'd
suddenly into a Tub of cold Water: Sad Spectacle, and
Emblem of human Penury, oppress'd by arbitrary Power!
How often is he hurry'd down into a dismal Vault, sent up
fully laden in a cold Sweat, and by a rude Hand thrust into
the Fire ! How often have I seen it obliged to undergo the
Indignities of a dirty Wench; to have melting Candles
dropt on its naked Sides, and sometimes in its Mouth, to
risque being broken into a thousand Pieces, for Actions
which itself was not guilty of ! How often is he forced into
the Company of boisterous Sots, who lay all their Nonsence,
Noise, profane Swearing, Cursing, and Quarreling, on the
harmless Mug, which speaks not a Word ! They overset
him, maim him, and sometimes turn him to Arms offensive
or defensive, as they please; when of himself he would not
be of either Party, but would as willingly stand still. Alas !
what Power, or Place, is provided, where this poor Mug,
this unpitied Slave, can have Redress of his Wrongs and
Sufferings? Or where shall he have a Word of Praise be-
stow'd on him for his Well doings, and faithful Services?
If he prove of a large size, his Owner curses him, and says
he will devour more than he'll earn : If his Size be small,
1 From The Pennsylvania Gazette, July 19, 1733.
1733] A MEDITATION ON A QUART MUGG 199
those whom his Master appoints him to serve will curse
him as much, and perhaps threaten him with the Inquisi-
tion of the Standard. Poor Mug, unfortunate is thy Condi-
tion! Of thy self thou wouldst do no Harm, but much
Harm is done with thee ! Thou art accused of many Mis-
chiefs; thou art said to administer Drunkenness, Poison,
and broken Heads : But none praise thee for the good Things
thou yieldest! Shouldest thou produce double Beer, nappy
Ale, stallcop Cyder, or Cyder mull'd, fine Punch, or cordial
Tiff; yet for all these shouldst thou not be prais'd, but the
rich Liquors themselves, which tho' within thee, will be
said to be foreign to thee ! And yet, so unhappy is thy
Destiny, thou must bear all their Faults and Abominations !
Hast thou been industriously serving thy Employers with
Tiff or Punch, and instantly they dispatch thee for Cyder,
then must thou be abused for smelling of Rum. Hast thou
been steaming their Noses gratefully, with mull'd Cyder or
butter'd Ale, and then offerest to refresh their Palates with
the best of Beer, they will curse thee for thy Greasiness.
And how, alas ! can thy Service be rendered more tolerable
to thee? If thou submittest thyself to a Scouring in the
Kitchen, what must thou undergo from sharp Sand, hot
Ashes, and a coarse Dishclout; besides the Danger of hav-
ing thy Lips rudely torn, thy Countenance disfigured, thy
Arms dismantled, and thy whole Frame shatter'd, with
violent Concussions in an Iron Pot or Brass Kettle ! And
yet, O Mug! if these Dangers thou escapest, with little
Injury, thou must at last untimely fall, be broken to Pieces,
and cast away, never more to be recollected and form'd
into a Quart Mug. Whether by the Fire, or hi a Battle,
or choak'd with a Dishclout, or by a Stroke against a Stone,
200 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1734
thy Dissolution happens; 'tis all alike to thy avaritious
Owner; he grieves not for thee, but for the Shilling with
which he purchased thee! If thy Bottom Part should
chance to survive, it may be preserv'd to hold bits of Candles,
or Blacking for Shoes, or Salve for kibed Heels; but all
thy other Members will be for ever buried in some miry
Hole; or less carefully disposed of, so that little Children,
who have not yet arrived to Acts of Cruelty, may gather
them up to furnish out their Baby Houses: Or, being cast
upon the Dunghill, they will therewith be carted into Meadow
Grounds; where, being spread abroad and discovered,
they must be thrown to the Heap of Stones, Bones and
Rubbish; or being left until the Mower finds them with
his Scythe, they will with bitter Curses be tossed over the
Hedge; and so serve for unlucky Boys to throw at Birds
and Dogs ; until by Length of Time and numerous Casual-
ties, they shall be press'd into their Mother Earth, and be
converted to their original Principles.
22. PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD, 1734 (A. P. s.)
COURTEOUS READERS,
Your kind and charitable Assistance last Year, in pur-
chasing so large an Impression of my Almanacks, has made
my Circumstances much more easy in the World, and re-
quires my grateful Acknowledgment. My Wife has been
enabled to get a Pot of her own, and is no longer oblig'd to
borrow one from a Neighbour ; nor have we ever since been
without something of our own to put in it. She has also
got a pair of Shoes, two new Shifts, and a new warm Petti-
coat; and for my part, I have bought a second-hand Coat,
1734]
PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD
201
so good, that I am now not asham'd to go to Town or be
seen there. These Things have render'd her Temper so
much more pacifick than it us'd to be, that I may say, I
have slept more, and more quietly within this last Year,
than in the three foregoing Years put together. Accept my
hearty Thanks therefor, and my sincere Wishes for your
Health and Prosperity.
In the Preface to my last Almanack, I foretold the Death
of my dear old Friend and Fellow-Student, the learned and
ingenious Mr. Titan Leeds, which was to be on the iyth of
October, 1 733, 3 h. 29 m. P. M. at the very Instant of the <5 of
and 5 . By his own Calculation he was to survive till
the 26th of the same Month, and expire in the Time of the
Eclipse, near n o'clock A. M. At which of these Times
he died, or whether he be really yet dead, I cannot at this
present Writing positively assure my Readers; forasmuch
as a Disorder in my own Family demanded my Presence,
and would not permit me as I had intended, to be with him
in his last Moments, to receive his last Embrace, to close
his Eyes, and do the Duty of a Friend in performing the
last Offices to the Departed. Therefore it is that I cannot
positively affirm whether he be dead or not; for the Stars
only show to the Skilful, what will happen in the natural
and universal Chain of Causes and Effects; but 'tis well
known, that the Events which would otherwise certainly
happen at certain Times in the Course of Nature are some-
times set aside or postpon'd for wise and good Reasons by
the immediate particular Dispositions of Providence; which
particular Dispositions the Stars can by no Means discover
or foreshow. There is however (and I cannot speak it
without Sorrow) there is the strongest Probability that my
202 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1734
dear Friend is no more; for there appears in his Name, as
I am assured, an Almanack for the Year 1734, in which I
am treated in a very gross and unhandsome Manner; in
which I am called a false Predicter, an Ignorant, a con-
ceited Scribler, a Fool, and a Lyar. Mr. Leeds was too
well bred to use any Man so indecently and so scurrilously,
and moreover his Esteem and Affection for me was extra-
ordinary: So that it is to be feared that Pamphlet may be
only a Contrivance of somebody or other, who hopes per-
haps to sell two or three Year's Almanacks still, by the sole
Force and Virtue of Mr. Leeds' s Name; but certainly, to
put Words into the Mouth of a Gentleman and a Man of
Letters, against his Friend, which the meanest and most
scandalous of the People might be asham'd to utter even in
a drunken Quarrel, is an unpardonable Injury to his Memory,
and an Imposition upon the Publick.
Mr. Leeds was not only profoundly skilful in the useful
Science he profess'd, but he was a Man of exemplary So-
briety, a most sincere Friend, and an exact Performer of
his Word. These valuable Qualifications, with many others
so much endear'd him to me, that although it should be so,
that, contrary to all Probability, contrary to my Prediction
and his own, he might possibly be yet alive, yet my Loss
of Honour as a Prognosticator, cannot afford me so much
Mortification, as his Life, Health and Safety would give
me Joy and Satisfaction.
I am, Courteous and Kind Reader
Your poor Friend and Servant,
Octob. 30. 1733. R. SAUNDERS.*
1 In the next issue of his " American Almanack " Titan Leeds, Philomath,
replied thus :
1735] PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD 203
23. PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD, 1735 (A. p. s.)
COURTEOUS READER,
This is the third Time of my appearing in print, hitherto
very much to my own Satisfaction, and, I have reason to
hope, to the Satisfaction of the Publick also ; for the Publick
is generous, and has been very charitable and good to me.
I should be ungrateful then, if I did not take every Op-
portunity of expressing my Gratitude; for ingratum si
dixeris, omnia dixeris: I therefore return the Publick my
most humble and hearty Thanks.
Whatever may be the Musick of the Spheres, how great
soever the Harmony of the Stars, 'tis certain there is no
Harmony among the Stargazers; but they are perpetually
growling and snarling at one another like strange Curs, or
like some Men at their Wives: I had resolved to keep the
Peace on my own part, and affront none of them; and I
" Courteous and Kind Reader.
My Almanack being in its usual Method, needs no Explanation ; but per-
haps it may be expected by some that I shall say something concerning Poor
Richard, or otherwise Richard Sounders'* Almanack, which I suppose was
printed in the Year 1733, for the ensuing Year 1734, wherein he useth me
with such good Manners. I can hardly find what to say to him, without it is
to advise him not to be too Proud because by his Predicting my Death, and
his writing an Almanack (I suppose at his Wife's Request) as he himself says,
she has got a Pot of her own and not longer obliged to borrow one from a
Neighbour, she has got also two new Shifts, a pair of new Shoes, and a new
warm Petticoat ; and for his own part he had bought a second-hand Coat so
good that he is not ashamed to go to Town or to be seen there (Parturiant
Monies !). But if Falshood and Inginuity be so rewarded, What may we
expect if ever he be in a capacity to publish that that is either Just or accord-
ing to Art ? Therefore I shall say little more about it than, as a Friend to
advise he will never take upon him to praedict or ascribe any Persons Death,
till he has learned to do it better than he did before."
204 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1735
shall persist in that Resolution: But having received much
Abuse from Titan Leeds deceas'd (Titan Leeds when living
would not have us'd me so!) I say, having receiv'd much
Abuse from the Ghost of Titan Leeds, who pretends to be
still living, and to write Almanacks in Spight of me and
my Predictions, I cannot help saying, that tho' I take it
patiently, I take it very unkindly. And whatever he may
pretend, 'tis undoubtedly true that he is really defunct and
dead. First because the Stars are seldom disappointed,
never but in the Case of wise Men, sapiens dominabitur
astris, and they foreshow'd his Death at the Tune I pre-
dicted it. Secondly, 'Twas requisite and necessary he should
die punctually at that Time, for the Honour of Astrology,
the Art professed both by him and his Father before him.
Thirdly, 'Tis plain to every one that reads his two last Al-
manacks (for 1734 and 35) that they are not written with
that Life his Performances use to be written with; the Wit
is low and flat, the little Hints dull and spiritless, nothing
smart in them but Hudibras's Verses against Astrology at
the Heads of the Months in the last, which no Astrologer
but a dead one would have inserted, and no Man living
would or could write such Stuff as the rest. But lastly I
convince him in his own Words, that he is dead (ex ore
suo condemnatus esf) for in his Preface to his Almanack for
1734, he says "Saunders adds another GROSS FALSHOOD in
his Almanack, viz. that by my own Calculation I shall sur-
vive until the 26th of the said Month October 1733, which is
as untrue as the former." Now if it be, as Leeds says, un-
true and a gross Falshood that he surviv'd till the 26th of
October 1733, then it is certainly true that he died before
that Time: And if he died before that Time, he is dead
1735] PROTECTION OF TOWNS FROM FIRE 205
now, to all Intents and Purposes, any thing he may say to
the contrary notwithstanding. And at what Time before
the 26th is it so likely he should die, as at the Time by me
predicted, viz. the lyth of October aforesaid? But if some
People will walk and be troublesome after Death, it may
perhaps be born with a little, because it cannot well be
avoided unless one would be at the Pains and Expence of
laying them in the Red Sea; however, they should not pre-
sume too much upon the Liberty allow'd them; I know
Confinement must needs be mighty irksome to the free
Spirit of an Astronomer, and I am too compassionate to
proceed suddenly to Extremities with it; nevertheless, tho'
I resolve with Reluctance, I shall not long defer, if it does
not speedily learn to treat its living Friends with better
Manners,
I am, Courteous Reader, your obliged Friend and Servant
Octob. 30. 1734. R. SAUNDERS.
24. PROTECTION OF TOWNS FROM FIRE 1
MR. FRANKLIN,
Being old and lame of my Hands, and thereby uncapable
of assisting my Fellow Citizens, when their Houses are on
Fire; I must beg them to take in good Part the following
Hints on the Subject of Fires.
In the first Place, as an Ounce of Prevention is worth a
Pound of Cure, I would advise 'em to take Care how they
suffer living Brandsends, or Coals in a full Shovel, to be
carried out of one Room into another, or up or down Stairs,
unless in a Warmingpan shut; for Scraps of Fire may
1 From The Pennsylvania Gazette, February 4, 1734-1735.
206 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1735
fall into Chinks, and make no Appearance till Midnight;
when your Stairs being in Flames, you may be forced, (as
I once was) to leap out of your Windows, and hazard your
Necks to avoid being over-roasted.
And now we talk of Prevention, where would be the
Damage, if, to the Act for preventing Fires, by regulating
Bakehouses and Coopers Shops, a Clause were added to
regulate all other Houses in the particulars of too shallow
Hearths, and the destestable Practice of putting Wooden
Mouldings on each side the Fire Place, which being com-
monly of Heart-of-Pine and full of Turpentine, stand ready
to flame as soon as a Coal or a small Brande shall roul
against them.
Once more; If Chimneys were more frequently and more
carefully clean'd, some Fires might thereby be prevented.
I have known foul Chimneys burn most furiously a few
Days after they were swept: People in Confidence that
they are clean, making large Fires. Every Body among
us is allow'd to sweep Chimneys, that please to undertake
that Business; and if a Chimney fires thro' fault of the
Sweeper, the Owner pays the Fine, and the Sweeper goes
free. This Thing is not right. Those who undertake sweep-
ing of Chimneys, and employ Servants for that Purpose,
ought to be licensed by the Mayor; and if any Chimney
fires and flames out 15 Days after Sweeping, the Fine should
be paid by the Sweeper ; for it is his Fault.
We have at present got Engines enough in the Town, but
I question, whether in many Parts of the Town, Water
enough can be had to keep them going for half an Hour
together. It seems to me some Publick Pumps are wanting ;
but that I submit to better Judgments.
1735] PROTECTION OF TOWNS FROM FIRE 207
As to our Conduct in the Affair of Extinguishing Fires,
tho' we do not want Hands or Good- Will, yet we seem to
want Order and Method, and therefore I believe I cannot
do better than to offer for our Imitation, the Example of a
City in a Neighbouring Province. There is, as I am well
inform'd, a Club or Society of active Men belonging to each
Fire Engine; whose Business is to attend all Fires with it
whenever they happen ; and to work it once a Quarter, and
see it kept in order: Some of these are to handle the Fire-
hooks, and others the Axes, which are always kept with the
Engine ; and for this Service they are consider'd in an Abate-
ment or Exemption in the Taxes. In Time of Fire, they
are commanded by Officers appointed by Law, called Fire-
wards, who are distinguished by a Red Staff of five Feet
long, headed with a Brass Flame of 6 Inches; And being
Men of Prudence and Authority, they direct the opening
and stripping of Roofs by the Ax-Men, the pulling down
burning Timbers by the Hookmen, and the playing of the
Engines, and command the making of Lanes, &c. and they
are impowered to require Assistance for the Removing of
Goods out of Houses on fire or in Danger of Fire, and to
appoint Guards for securing such Goods ; and Disobedience,
to these Officers in any, at such Times, is punished by a
Fine of 405. or Ten Days Imprisonment. These Officers,
with the Men belonging to the Engine, at their Quarterly
Meetings, discourse of Fires, of the Faults committed at
some, the good Management in some Cases at others, and
thus communicating their Thoughts and Experience they
grow wise in the Thing, and know how to command and to
execute in the best manner upon every Emergency. Since
the Establishment of this Regulation, it seems there has
208 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1736
been no extraordinary Fire in that Place; and I wish there
never may be any here. But they suffer'd before they made
such a Regulation, and so must we; for Englishmen feel
but cannot see; as the Italian says of us. And it has
pleased God, that in the Fires we have hitherto had, all
the bad Circumstances have never happened together, such
as dry Season, high Wind, narrow Street, and little or low
Water: which perhaps tends to make us secure in our own
Minds ; but if a Fire with those Circumstances, which God
forbid, should happen, we should afterwards be careful
enough.
Let me say one thing more, and I will be silent. I could
wish, that either Tiles would come in Use for a Covering to
Buildings; or else that those who build, would make their
Roofs more safe to walk upon, by carrying the Wall above
the Eves, in the Manner of the new Buildings in London,
and as Mr. Turners House in Front Street, or Mr. Nichols's
in Chestnut Street, are built; which I conceive would tend
considerably to their Preservation.
Let others communicate their Thoughts as freely as I have
done mine, and perhaps something useful may be drawn
from the Whole.
/ am yours, &
A. A.
25. PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD, 1736 (P.H.S.)
Loving Readers,
Your kind Acceptance of my former Labours, has en-
couraged me to continue writing, tho' the general Approba-
tion you have been so good as to favour me with, has excited
1736] PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD 209
the Envy of some, and drawn upon me the Malice of others.
These Ill-willers of mine, despited at the great Reputation I
gain'd by exactly predicting another Man's Death, have
endeavour'd to deprive me of it all at once in the most effec-
tual Manner, by reporting that I my self was never alive.
They say in short, That there is no such a Man as I am:
and have spread this Notion so thoroughly in the Country,
that I have been frequently told it to my Face by those that
don't know me. This is not civil Treatment, to endeavour
to deprive me of my very Being, and reduce me to a Non-
entity in the Opinion of the publick. But so long as I know
my self to walk about, eat, drink and sleep, I am satisfied
that there is really such a Man as I am, whatever they may
say to the contrary: And the World may be satisfied like-
wise ; for if there were no such Man as I am, how is it possible
I should appear publickly to hundreds of People, as I have
done for several Years past, in print? I need not, indeed,
have taken any Notice of so idle a Report, if it had not been
for the sake of my Printer, to whom my Enemies are pleased
to ascribe my Productions ; and who it seems is as unwilling
to father my Offspring, as I am to lose the Credit of it:
Therefore to clear him entirely, as well as to vindicate my
own Honour, I make this publick and serious Declaration,
which I desire may be believed, to wit, That what I have
written heretofore and do now write, neither was nor is
written by any other Man or Men, Person or Persons what-
soever. Those who are not satisfied with this, must needs
be very unreasonable.
My Performance for this Year follows; it submits itself,
kind Reader, to thy Censure, but hopes for thy Candor, to
forgive its Faults. It devotes itself entirely to thy Service,
VOL. II P
2io THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1737
and will serve thee faithfully: And if it has the good For-
tune to please its Master, 'tis Gratification enough for the
Labour of Poor
R. SAUNDERS.
26. PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD, 1737 (p. H. s.)
Courteous and kind Reader,
This is the fifth Time I have appear'd in Publick, chalk-
ing out the future Year for my honest Countrymen, and fore-
telling what shall, and what may, and what may not come to
pass ; in which I have the Pleasure to find that I have given
general Satisfaction. Indeed, among the Multitude of our
astrological Predictions, 'tis no wonder if some few fail ; for,
without any Defect in the Art itself, 'tis well known that a
small Error, a single wrong Figure overseen in a Calculation,
may occasion great Mistakes: But however we Almanack-
makers may miss it in other Things, I believe it will be gen-
erally allow'd That we always hit the Day of the Month, and
that I suppose is esteem'd one of the most useful Things in an
Almanack.
As to the Weather, if I were to fall into the Method my
Brother J n l sometimes uses, and tell you, Snow here or
in New England, Rain here or in South-Carolina,
Cold to the Northward, Warm to the Southward, and the
like, whatever Errors I might commit, I should be some-
thing more secure of not being detected in them : But I con-
sider, it will be of no Service to any body to know what
Weather it is 1000 miles off, and therefore I always set down
positively what Weather my Reader will have, be he where
1 John Jerman.
1737] HINTS FOR THOSE THAT WOULD BE RICH 211
he will at the time. We modestly desire only the favour-
able Allowance of a day or two before and a day or two after
the precise Day against which the Weather is set; and if
it does not come to pass accordingly, let the Fault be laid
upon the Printer, who, 'tis very like, may have transpos'd
or misplac'd it, perhaps for the Conveniency of putting hi
his Holidays: And since, in spight of all I can say, People
will give him great part of the Credit of making my Alma-
nacks, 'tis but reasonable he should take some share of
the Blame.
I must not omit here to thank the Publick for the gra-
cious and kind Encouragement they have hitherto given
me: But if the generous Purchaser of my Labours could
see how often his F? pence helps to light up the comfort-
able Fire, line the Pot, fill the Cup and make glad the Heart
of a poor Man and an honest good old Woman, he would
not think his Money ill laid out, tho' the Almanack of his
Friend and Servant
R. SAUNDERS
were one half blank Paper.
27. HINTS FOR THOSE THAT WOULD BE RICH 1
[OCTOBER 1736]
THE Use of Money is all the Advantage there is in having
Money.
For 6 a Year you may have the Use of ;ioo if you are
a Man of known Prudence and Honesty.
1 From "Poor Richard," 1737.
212 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1737
He that spends a Groat a day idly, spends idly above
6 a year, which is the Price of using 100.
He that wastes idly a Groat's worth of his Time per Day, one
Day with another, wastes the Privilege of using 100 each Day.
He that idly loses 55. worth of time, loses 53. and might
as prudently throw 55. in the River.
He that loses 55. not only loses that Sum, but all the
Advantage that might be made by turning it in Dealing,
which, by the time that a young Man becomes old, amounts
to a comfortable Bag of Money.
Again, He that sells upon Credit, asks a Price for what
he sells equivalent to the Principal and Interest of his Money
for the Time he is like to be kept out of it: therefore He
that buys upon Credit, pays Interest for what he buys.
And he that pays ready Money, might let that Money out
to Use ; so that He that possesses any Thing he has bought,
pays Interest for the Use of it.
Consider then when you are tempted to buy any
unnecessary Householdstuff, or any superfluous thing,
whether you will be willing to pay Interest, and Interest
upon Interest for it as long as you live ; and more if it grows
worse by using.
Yet, in buying goods, 'tis best to pay Ready Money, be-
cause, He that sells upon Credit, expects to lose 5 per Cent
by bad Debts; therefore he charges, on all he sells upon
Credit, an Advance that shall make up that Deficiency.
Those who pay for what they buy upon Credit, pay their
Share of this Advance.
He that pays ready Money, escapes or may escape that
Charge.
A Penny sav'd is Twopence clear,
A Pin a Day is a Groat a Year.
1738] PREFACE BY MISTRESS SAUNDERS 213
28. PREFACE BY MISTRESS SAUNDERS TO POOR
RICHARD, 1738 (P.H.S.)
DEAR READERS,
My good Man set out last week for Potowmack, to visit
an old Stargazer of his Acquaintance, and see about a little
Place for us to settle and end our Days on. He left the
Copy of his Almanack seal'd up, and bid me send it to
the Press. I suspected something, and therefore as soon
as he was gone, I open'd it, to see if he had not been fling-
ing some of his old Skitts at me. Just as I thought, so it
was. And truly, (for want of somewhat else to say, I sup-
pose) he had put into his Preface, that his Wife Bridget . . .
was this, and that, and t' other. . . . What a-peasecods!
cannot I have a little Fault or two, but all the Country
must see it in print ! They have already been told, at one
time that I am proud, another that I am loud, and that
I have got a new Petticoat, and abundance of such kind
of stuff ; and now, forsooth ! all the World must know,
that Poor Dick's Wife has lately taken a fancy to drink a
little Tea now and then. A mighty matter, truly, to make
a Song of ! 'Tis true ; I had a little Tea of a Present from
the Printer last Year; and what, must a body throw it
away? In short, I thought the Preface was not worth a
printing, and so I fairly scratch'd it all out, and I believe
you'll like our Almanack never the worse for it.
Upon looking over the Months, I see he has put in abun-
dance of foul Weather this Year; and therefore I have
scatter'd here and there, where I could find room, some
fair, pleasant, sunshiny, &c. for the Good- Women to dry
2i 4 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1738
their Clothes in. If it does not come to pass according
to my Desire, I have shown my Good- will, however; and
I hope they'll take it in good part.
I had a Design to make some other Corrections; and
particularly to change some of the Verses that I don't very
well like; but I have just now unluckily broke my Spec-
tacles; which obliges me to give it you as it is, and con-
clude
Your loving Friend,
BRIDGET SAUNDERS.
29. TO JOSIAH FRANKLIN 1
Philadelphia, April 13, 1738.
HONOURED FATHER,
I have your favours of the 2ist of March, in which you
both seem concerned lest I have imbibed some erroneous
opinions. Doubtless I have my share; and when the nat-
ural weakness and imperfection of human understanding
is considered, the unavoidable influence of education, cus-
tom, books, and company upon our ways of thinking, I
imagine a man must have a good deal of vanity who be-
lieves, and a good deal of boldness who affirms, that all the
doctrines he holds are true, and all he rejects are false. And
perhaps the same may be justly said of every sect, church,
and society of men, when they assume to themselves that
infallibility, which they deny to the Pope and councils.
I think opinions should be judged of by their influences
and effects ; and, if a man holds none that tend to make him
1 From " Memoirs of Benjamin Franklin." Philadelphia : McCarty &
Davis, 1834, p. 233.
1738] TO JOSIAH FRANKLIN 215
less virtuous or more vicious, it may be concluded he holds
none that are dangerous; which I hope is the case with me.
I am sorry you should have any uneasiness on my account ;
and if it were a thing possible for one to alter his opinions
in order to please another, I know none whom I ought more
willingly to oblige in that respect than yourselves. But,
since it is no more in a man's power to think than to look
like another, methinks all that should be expected from me
is to keep my mind open to conviction, to hear patiently and
examine attentively, whatever is offered me for that end;
and, if after all I continue hi the same errors, I believe your
usual charity will induce you to rather pity and excuse, than
blame me. In the mean time your care and concern for me
is what I am very thankful for.
My mother grieves, that one of her sons is an Arian,
another an Arminian. What an Arminian or an Arian is,
I cannot say that I very well know. The truth is, I make
such distinctions very little my study. I think vital religion
has always suffered, when orthodoxy is more regarded than
virtue; and the Scriptures assure me, that at the last day
we shall not be examined what we thought, but what we
did; and our recommendation will not be, that we said,
Lord! Lord! but that we did good to our fellow creatures.
See Matt. xxv.
As to the freemasons, I know no way of giving my mother
a better account of them than she seems to have at present,
since it is not allowed that women should be admitted into
that secret society. She has, I must confess, on that ac-
count some reason to be displeased with it ; but for any
thing else, I must entreat her to suspend her judgment till
she is better informed, unless she will believe me, when I
2 i6 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1739
assure her that they are in general a very harmless sort of
people, and have no principles or practices that are incon-
sistent with religion and good manners.
We have had great rains here lately, which, with the
thawing of snow on the mountains back of our country,
have made vast floods in our rivers, and, by carrying away
bridges, boats, &c., made travelling almost impracticable
for a week past ; so that our post has entirely missed making
one trip.
I hear nothing of Dr. Crook, nor can I learn any such
person has ever been here.
I hope my sister Jenny's child is by this time recovered.
I am your dutiful son.
B. FRANKLIN.
30. PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD, 1739 (A. P. s.)
Kind Reader,
Encouraged by thy former Generosity, I once more pre-
sent thee with an Almanack, which is the yth of my Pub-
lication. While thou art putting Pence in my Pocket, and
furnishing my Cottage with necessaries, Poor Dick is not
unmindful to do something for thy Benefit. The Stars
are watch'd as narrowly as old Bess watch'd her Daughter,
that thou mayst be acquainted with their Motions, and told
a Tale of their Influences and Effects, which may do thee
more good than a Dream of last Year's Snow.
Ignorant Men wonder how we Astrologers foretell the
Weather so exactly, unless we deal with the old black Devil.
Alas! 'tis as easy as ****** For Instance; The Star-
gazer peeps at the Heavens thro' a long Glass: He sees
1739] PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD 217
perhaps TAURUS, or the great Bull, in a mighty Chafe,
stamping on the Floor of his House, swinging his Tail about,
stretching out his Neck, and opening wide his Mouth. 'Tis
natural from these Appearances to judge that this furious
Bull is puffing, blowing and roaring. Distance being con-
sider'd and Time allow'd for all this to come down, there
you have Wind and Thunder. He spies perhaps VIRGO
(or the Virgin ;) she turns her Head round as it were to see
if any body observ'd her; then crouching down gently, with
her Hands on her Knees, she looks wistfully for a while
right forward. He judges rightly what she's about: And
having calculated the Distance and allow'd Time for its
Falling, finds that next Spring we shall have a fine April
shower. What can be more natural and easy than this?
I might instance the like hi many other particulars ; but this
may be sufficient to prevent our being taken for Conjurors.
O the wonderful Knowledge to be found in the Stars ! Even
the smallest Things are written there, if you had but Skill to
read: When my Brother J m n erected a Scheme to
know which was best for his sick Horse, to sup a new-laid
Egg, or a little Broth, he found that the Stars plainly gave
their Verdict for Broth, and the Horse having sup'd his
Broth; Now, what do you think became of that Horse?
You shall know in my next.
Besides the usual Things expected in an Almanack, I
hope the profess'd Teachers of Mankind will excuse my
scattering here and there some instructive Hints in Matters
of Morality and Religion. And be not thou disturbed, O
grave and sober Reader, if among the many serious Sen-
tences in my Book, thou findest me trifling now and then,
and talking idly. In all the Dishes I have hitherto cook'd
218 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1739
for thee, there is solid Meat enough for thy Money. There
are Scraps from the Table of Wisdom, that will if well di-
gested, yield strong Nourishment to thy Mind. But squeam-
ish Stomachs cannot eat without Pickles; which, 'tis true
are good for nothing else, but they provoke an Appetite.
The Vain Youth that reads my Almanack for the sake of an
idle Joke, will perhaps meet with a serious Reflection, that
he may ever after be the better for.
Some People observing the great Yearly Demand for my
Almanack, imagine I must by this Time have become rich,
and consequently ought to call myself Poor Dick no longer.
But, the Case is this,
When I first begun to publish, the Printer made a fair
Agreement with me for my Copies, by Virtue of which he
runs away with the greatest Part of the Profit. However,
much good may 't do him ; I do not grudge it him ; he is a
Man I have a great Regard for, and I wish his Profit ten
times greater than it is. For I am, dear Reader, his, as well
as thy
Affectionate Friend
R. SAUNDERS.
31. A TRUE PROGNOSTICATION, FOR 1739 '
COURTEOUS READERS,
Having consider'd the infinite Abuses arising from the
false Prognostications published among you, made under
the shadow of a Pot of Drink, or so, I have here calculated
one of the most sure and unerring that ever was seen in
1 From " Poor Richard," 1739.
1739] A TRUE PROGNOSTICATION, FOR 1739 219
black and white, as hereafter you'll find. For doubtless it
is a heinous, foul and crying Sin, to deceive the poor gaping
World, greedy of the Knowledge of Futurity, as we Ameri-
cans all are. Take Notice by the by, that having been at a
great deal of pains in the Calculation, if you don't believe
every Syllable, Jot and Tittle of it, you do me a great deal
of wrong; for which either here or elsewhere, you may
chance to be claw'd off with a Vengeance. A good Cowskin,
Crabtree or Bull's pizzle may be plentifully bestow'd on
your outward Man. You may snuff up your Noses as much
as you please, 'tis all one for that.
Well however, come, suite your Noses my little Children;
and you old doating Father Grey-Beards, pull out your best
Eyes, on wi' your Barnacles, and carefully observe every
Scruple of what I'm going to tell you.
OF THE GOLDEN NUMBER
The Golden Number, non est inventus. I cannot find it
this Year by any Calculation I have made. I must content
myself with a Number of Copper. No matter, go on.
Of the ECLIPSES this Year
There are so many invisible Eclipses this Year, that I fear,
not unjustly, our Pockets will suffer Inanition, be full empty,
and our Feeling at a Loss. During the first visible Eclipse
Saturn is retrograde: For which Reason the Crabs will go
sidelong, and the Ropemakers backward. The Belly will
wag before, and the A shall sit down first. Mercury
will have his share in these Affairs, and so confound the
Speech of People, that when a Pensilvanian would say
220 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1739
PANTHER he shall say PAINTER. When a New Yorker
thinks to say (This) he shall say (Diss) and the people in
New England and Cape May will not be able to say (Cow)
for their Lives, but will be forc'd to say (Keow) by a certain
involuntary Twist in the Root of their Tongues. No Con-
necticut man nor Marylander will be able to open his Mouth
this Year but (Sir) shall be the first or last Syllable he pro-
nounces, and sometimes both. Brutes shall speak in many
Places, and there will be above seven and twenty irregular
Verbs made this Year, if Grammar don't interpose. Who
can help these Misfortunes !
Of the DISEASES This Year
This Year the Stone-blind shall see but very little; the
Deaf shall hear but poorly; and the Dumb sha'nt speak
very plain. And it's much, if my Dame Bridget talks at
all this Year.
WTiole Flocks, Herds, and Droves of Sheep, Swine and
Oxen, Cocks and Hens, Ducks and Drakes, Geese and
Ganders shall go to Pot ; but the Mortality will not be al-
together so great among Cats, Dogs, and Horses. As for
old Age, 'twill be incurable this Year, because of the Years
past. And towards the Fall some People will be seiz'd
with an unaccountable Inclination to roast and eat their
own Ears: Should this be call'd Madness, Doctors? I
think not. But the worst Disease of all will be a certain
most horrid, dreadful, malignant, catching, perverse and
odious Malady, almost epidemical, insomuch that many
shall run mad upon it; I quake for very Fear when I think
on't: for I assure you very few will escape this Disease,
which is called by the learned Albumazar Lacko'mony.
1740] PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD 221
Of the FRUITS of the EARTH
I find that this will be a plentiful Year of all manner of
good Things, to those who have enough; but the Orange
Trees in Greenland, will go near to fare the worse for the
Cold. As for Oats, they'll be a great Help to Horses. I
dare say there won't be much more Bacon than Swine.
Mercury somewhat threatens our Parsley-beds, yet Parsly
will be to be had for Money. Hemp will grow faster than
the Children of this Age, and some will find there's but too
much on't. As for Corn, Fruit, Cyder and Turnips, there
never was such Plenty as will be now; if poor Folks may
have their Wish.
Of the CONDITION of some COUNTRIES
I foresee an universal Droughth this Year thro' all the
Northern Colonies. Hence there will be dry Rice in Caro-
lina, dry Tobacco in Virginia and Maryland, dry Bread
in Pennsylvania and New York; and in New England
dry Fish and dry Doctrine. Dry Throats there will be
everywhere; but then how pleasant it will be to drink cool
Cyder! tho' some will tell you nothing is more contrary
to Thirst. I believe it; and indeed, Contraria contrariis
curantur.
R. SAUNDERS.
32. PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD, 1740 (A.P.S.)
October 7. 1739.
Courteous Reader,
You may remember that in my first Almanack, pub-
lished for the Year 1733, I predicted the Death of my dear
Friend Titan Leeds, Philomat. to happen that Year on the
222
THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1740
1 7th Day of October ; 3 h. 29 m. P. M. The good Man,
it seems, died accordingly: But W. B. and A. B have con-
tinued to publish Almanacks in his Name ever since; as-
serting for some Years that he was still living; At length
when the Truth could no longer be conceal'd from the
World, they confess his Death in their Almanack for 1739,
but pretend that he died not till last Year, and that before
his Departure he had furnished them with Calculations
for 7 Years to come. Ah, My Friends, these are poor
Shifts and thin Disguises; of which indeed I should have
taken little or no Notice, if you had not at the same time
accus'd me as a false Predictor; an Aspersion that the
more affects me, as my whole Livelyhood depends on a
contrary Character.
But to put this Matter beyond Dispute, I shall acquaint
the World with a Fact, as strange and surprizing as it is
true; being as follows, viz.
On the 4th Instant, towards midnight, as I sat in my
little Study writing this Preface, I fell fast asleep; and
continued in that Condition for some time, without dream-
ing any thing, to my Knowledge. On awaking I found
lying before me the following Letter, viz.
'Dear Friend SAUNDERS,
My Respect for you continues even in this separate State,
and I am griev'd to see the Aspersions thrown on you by
the Malevolence of avaricious Publishers of Almanacks
who envy your Success. They say Your Prediction of my
Death in 1733 was false, and they pretend that I remained
alive many Years after. But I do hereby certify, that I
did actually die at that time; precisely at the Hour you
1740] PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD 223
mention'd, with a Variation only of 5 m. 53 sec. which must
be allow'd to be no great matter in such Cases. And I
do farther declare that I furnish'd them with no Calcula-
tions of the Planets Motions, etc, seven Years after my
Death, as they are pleased to give out: so that the Stuff
they publish as an Almanack in my Name is no more mine
than 'tis yours.
You will wonder perhaps, how this Paper comes written
on your Table. You must know that no separate Spirits
are under any Confinement till after the final Settlement
of all Accounts. In the mean time we wander where we
please, visit our old Friends, observe their Actions, enter
sometimes into their Imaginations, and give them Hints,
waking or sleeping that may be of Advantage to them.
Finding you asleep, I entred your left Nostril, ascended
into your Brain, found out where the Ends of those Nerves
were fastned that move your right Hand and Fingers, by
the Help of which I am now writing unknown to you; but
when you open your Eyes, you will see that the Hand written
is mine, tho' wrote with yours.
The People of this Infidel Age, perhaps, will hardly
believe this Story. But you may give them these three
Signs by which they shall be convinc'd of the Truth of it.
About the middle of June next, J. J n, Philomai, shall
be openly reconciled to the Church of Rome, and give all
his Goods and Chatties to the Chappel, being perverted by
a certain Country Schoolmaster. On the yth of September
following my old Friend W. B t shall be sober 9 Hours,
to the Astonishment of all his Neighbours: And about the
same time W. B. and A. B. will publish another Almanack
in my Name, in Spight of Truth and Common-Sense.
224 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1742
As I can see much clearer into Futurity, since I got free
from the dark Prison of Flesh, in which I was continually
molested and almost blinded with Fogs arising from Tiff,
and the Smoke of burnt Drams; I shall in kindness to you,
frequently give you Informations of things to come for the
Improvement of your Almanack: Being Dear Dick
Your affectionate Friend
T. LEEDS.'
For my own part I am convinc'd that the above Letter
is genuine. If the Reader doubts of it, let him carefully
observe the three Signs ; and if they do not actually come
to pass, believe as he pleases.
/ am his humble Friend
R. SAUNDERS.
33. PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD, 1742 (L.C.P.)
Courteous READER,
THIS is the ninth Year of my Endeavours to serve thee
in the Capacity of a Calendar- Writer. The Encourage-
ment I have met with must be ascrib'd, in a great Measure,
to your Charity, excited by the open honest Declaration
I made of my Poverty at my first Appearance. This
my Brother Philomaths could, without being Conjurers,
discover; and Poor Richard's Success has produced ye a
Poor Will, and a Poor Robin; and no doubt Poor John,
&c. will follow, and we shall all be, in Name, what some
Folks say we are already in Fact, a Parcel of poor Almanack-
Makers. During the Course of these nine Years, what
Bufferings have I not sustained! The Fraternity have
been all in Arms. Honest Titan, deceas'd, was rais'd,
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN.
From an original portrait in pencil by Benjamin West, in the collection
of The Hon. Samuel W. Pennypacker, LL.D.
1742] PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD 225
and made to abuse his old Friend. Both Authors and
Printers were angry. Hard Names, and many, were be-
stow'd on me. They deny'd me to be the Author of my
own works; declar'd there never was any such Person;
asserted that I was dead 60 Years ago; prognosticated my
Death to happen within a Twelvemonth: with many other
malicious Inconsistences, the Effects of blind Passion,
Envy at my Success; and a vain Hope of depriving me,
(dear Reader) of thy wonted Countenance and Favour.
Who knows him? they cry: Where does he live? But
what is that to them? If I delight in a private Life, have
they any Right to drag me out of my Retirement ? I have
good Reasons for concealing the Place of my Abode. 'Tis
time for an old Man, as I am, to think of preparing for
his great Remove. The perpetual Teasing of both Neigh-
bours and Strangers, to calculate Nativities, give Judg-
ments on Schemes, erect Figures, discover Thieves, detect
Horse- Stealers, describe the Route of Run-aways and
stray 'd Cattle; The Croud of Visitors with a 1000 trifling
Questions ; Will my Ship return safe ? Will my Mare win
the Race? Will her next Colt be a Pacer? When will my
Wife die? Who shall be my Husband, and HOW LONG
first? When is the best time to cut Hair, trim Cocks, or
sow Sallad? These and the like Impertinences I have now
neither Taste nor Leisure for. I have had enough of 'em.
All that these angry Folks can say, will never provoke me
to tell them where I live. I would eat my Nails first.
My last Adversary is J. J n, 1 Philomat., who de-
clares and protests (in his preface, 1741) that the false Proph-
ecy put in my Almanack, concerning him, the Year before,
1 John Jerman.
VOL. II Q
226 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1742
is altogether false and untrue : and that I am one of Baal's
false Prophets. This false, false Prophecy he speaks of,
related to his Reconciliation with the Church of Rome;
which, notwithstanding his Declaring and Protesting, is,
I fear, too true. Two Things in his elegiac Verses confirm
me in this Suspicion. He calls the first of November by
the Name of All Hallows Day. Reader; does not this smell
of Popery? Does it in the least savour of the pure Lan-
guage of Friends? But the plainest Thing is; his Adora-
tion of Saints, which he confesses to be his Practice, in these
Words, page 4.
" When any Trouble did me befal,
To my dear Mary then I would call."
Did he think the whole World were so stupid as not to
take Notice of this? So ignorant as not to know, that all
Catholicks pay the highest Regard to the Virgin Mary?
Ah ! Friend John, we must allow you to be a Poet, but you
are certainly no Protestant. I could heartily wish your
Religion were as good as your Verses.
RICHARD SAUNDERS.*
1 In the following Year John Jerman wrote in the Preface to his "Ameri-
can Almanack " :
" To the READERS, Here is presented to your View and Service, an Alma-
nack for the Year 1 743 according to my yearly Method, so I hope it needs no
Explanation. I have put down the Judgment of the Weather as usual, and
as I find the Aspects and Positions of the Planets to signifie ; but no Man can
be infallible therein, by reason of the many contrary Causes happening at or
near the same Time, and the inconstancy of the Summer Showers and Gusts,
being very often great Rain Hail and Thunder in one Place, and none at all
in another Place within a few Miles distance. However I think mine comes
as near the Matter as any other, if not nearer.
The Reader may expect a Reply from me to R S rs alias B
f MS facetious Way of proving me no Protestant. I do hereby protest,
that for that and such kind of Usage the Printer of that witty Performance
1742] RULES OF HEALTH AND LONG LIFE 227
34. RULES OF HEALTH AND LONG LIFE 1
EAT and drink such an exact Quantity as the Constitu-
tion of thy Body allows of, in reference to the Services of
the Mind.
They that study much, ought not to eat so much as those
that work hard, their Digestion being not so good.
The exact Quantity and Quality, being found out, is to
be kept to constantly.
Excess in all other Things whatever, as well as in Meat
and Drink, is also to be avoided.
Youth, Age, and Sick, require a different Quantity.
And so do those of contrary Complexions; for that which
is too much for a phlegmatick Man, is not sufficient for a
Cholerick.
The Measure of Food ought to be (as much as possibly
may be) exactly proportionable to the Quality and Con-
dition of the Stomach, because the Stomach digests it.
That Quantity that is sufficient, the Stomach can per-
fectly concoct and digest, and it sufficeth the due Nourish-
ment of the Body.
A greater Quantity of some things may be eaten than
of others, some being of lighter Digestion than others.
The Difficulty lies, in finding out an exact Measure ; but
eat for Necessity, not Pleasure, for Lust knows not where
Necessity ends.
shall not have the Benefit of my Almanack for this Year. To avoid further
Contention, and judging it unnecessary to offer any Proofs to those of my
Acquaintance that I am not a Papist, I shall with these few Lines conclude
and give place to what I think more agreeable to my Readers.
John Jerman."
1 From Poor Richard, 1742.
228 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1743
Wouldst thou enjoy a long Life, a healthy Body, and a
vigorous Mind, and be acquainted also with the wonder-
ful Works of God, labour in the first place to bring thy
Appetite into Subjection to Reason.
35. A PROPOSAL
FOR PROMOTING USEFUL KNOWLEDGE AMONG THE
BRITISH PLANTATIONS IN AMERICA 1
Philadelphia, May 14, 1743.
THE English are possessed of a long tract of continent,
from Nova Scotia to Georgia, extending north and south
through different climates, having different soils, produc-
ing different plants, mines, and minerals, and capable of
different improvements, manufactures, &c.
The first drudgery of settling new colonies, which con-
fines the attention of people to mere necessaries, is now
pretty well over; and there are many in every province
in circumstances that set them at ease, and afford leisure
to cultivate the finer arts and improve the common stock
of knowledge. To such of these who are men of specu-
lation, many hints must from time to time arise, many
observations occur, which if well examined, pursued, and im-
proved, might produce discoveries to the advantage of some
or all of the British plantations, or to the benefit of man-
kind in general.
1 This paper appears to contain the first suggestion, in any public form,
for an American Philosophical Society, It was originally printed on a
separate sheet, as a circular letter, and sent by the author to his different
correspondents. S.
1743] A PROPOSAL 229
But as from the extent of the country such persons
are widely separated, and seldom can see and converse
or be acquainted with each other, so that many useful
particulars remain uncommunicated, die with the dis-
coverers, and are lost to mankind; it is, to remedy this
inconvenience for the future, proposed,
That one society be formed of virtuosi or ingenious men,
residing in the several colonies, to be called The American
Philosophical Society, who are to maintain a constant cor-
respondence.
That Philadelphia, being the city nearest the centre of the
continent colonies, communicating with all of them north-
ward and southward by post, and with all the islands by sea,
and having the advantage of a good growing library, be the
centre of the Society.
That at Philadelphia there be always at least seven
members, viz. a physician, a botanist, a mathematician,
a chemist, a mechanician, a geographer, and a general
natural philosopher, besides a president, treasurer, and sec-
retary.
That these members meet once a month, or oftener, at
their own expense, to communicate to each other their ob-
servations and experiments, to receive, read, and consider
such letters, communications, or queries as shall be sent
from distant members; to direct the dispersing of copies
of such communications as are valuable, to other distant
members, in order to procure their sentiments there-
upon.
That the subjects of the correspondence be: all new-
discovered plants, herbs, trees, roots, their virtues, uses,
&c. ; methods of propagating them, and making such as
230 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1743
are useful, but particular to some plantations, more general ;
improvements of vegetable juices, as ciders, wines, &c.;
new methods of curing or preventing diseases; all new-
discovered fossils in different countries, as mines, minerals,
and quarries; new and useful improvements in any branch
of mathematics; new discoveries in chemistry, such as im-
provements in distillation, brewing, and assaying of ores;
new mechanical inventions for saving labour, as mills and
carriages, and for raising and conveying of water, draining
of meadows, &c. ; all new arts, trades, and manufactures,
that may be proposed or thought of; surveys, maps, and
charts of particular parts of the sea-coasts or inland coun-
tries ; course and junction of rivers and great roads, situation
of lakes and mountains, nature of the soil and productions;
new methods of improving the breed of useful animals; in-
troducing other sorts from foreign countries; new improve-
ments in planting, gardening, and clearing land; and all
philosophical experiments that let light into the nature of
things, tend to increase the power of man over matter, and
multiply the conveniences or pleasures of life.
That a correspondence, already begun by some intended
members, shall be kept up by this Society with the ROYAL
SOCIETY of London, and with the DUBLIN SOCIETY.
That every member shall have abstracts sent him quar-
terly, of ever>' thing valuable communicated to the Society's
Secretary at Philadelphia ; free of all charge except the yearly
payment hereafter mentioned.
That, by permission of the postmaster-general, such com-
munications pass between the Secretary of the Society and
the members, postage-free.
That, for defraying the expense of such experiments as
1743] A PROPOSAL 231
the Society shall judge proper to cause to be made, and other
contingent charges for the common good, every member send
a piece of eight per annum to the treasurer, at Philadelphia,
to form a common stock, to be disbursed by order of the
President with the consent of the majority of the members
that can conveniently be consulted thereupon, to such per-
sons and places where and by whom the experiments are to
be made, and otherwise as there shall be occasion ; of which
disbursements an exact account shall be kept, and com-
municated yearly to every member.
That, at the first meetings of the members at Philadelphia,
such rules be formed for regulating their meetings and trans-
actions for the general benefit, as shall be convenient and
necessary; to be afterwards changed and improved as there
shall be occasion, wherein due regard is to be had to the
advice of distant members.
That, at the end of every year, collections be made and
printed, of such experiments, discoveries, and improvements,
as may be thought of public advantage; and that every
member have a copy sent him.
That the business and duty of the Secretary be to receive
all letters intended for the Society, and lay them before the
President and members at. their meetings ; to abstract, cor-
rect, and methodize such papers as require it, and as he
shall be directed to do by the President, after they have been
considered, debated, and digested in the Society; to enter
copies thereof in the Society's books, and make out copies
for distant members; to answer their letters by direction of
the President, and keep records of all material transactions
of the Society.
Benjamin Franklin, the writer of this Proposal, offers him-
232 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1743
self to serve the Society as their secretary, till they shall be
provided with one more capable. 1
36. SHAVERS AND TRIMMERS 3
ALEXANDER MILLER, Peruke-maker, in Second-street,
Philadelphia, takes Opportunity to acquaint his Customers,
that he intends to leave off the Shaving Business after the
22d of August next.
To MR. FRANKLIN.
Sm,
It is a common Observation among the People of Great
Britain and Ireland, that the Barbers are reverenced by the
lower Classes of the Inhabitants of those Kingdoms, and in
the more remote Parts of those Dominions, as the sole
Oracles of Wisdom and Politicks. This at first View seems
to be owing to the odd Bent of Mind and peculiar Humour
of the People of those Nations : But if we carry this Observa-
tion into other Parts, we shall find the same Passion equally
prevalent throughout the whole civilized World; and dis-
cover in every little Market-Town and Village the 'Squire,
the Exciseman, and even the Parson himself, listening with
as much Attention to a Barber's News, as they would to the
profound Revelations of a Chancellor of the Exchequer, or
principal Secretary of State.
1 This is doubtless the paper alluded to by Dr. Franklin in his autobiog-
raphy, where he says ; " I succeeded, in the year 1 744, in proposing and
establishing a Philosophical Society. The paper I wrote for that purpose will
be found among my writings ; if not lost with many others." S.
2 From The Pennsylvania Gazette, June 23, 1743.
1743] SHAVERS AND TRIMMERS 233
Antiquity likewise will furnish us with many Confirma-
tions of the Truth of what I have here asserted. Among the
old Romans the Barbers were understood to be exactly of
the same Complection I have hear described. I shall not
trouble your Readers with a Multitude of Examples taken
from Antiquity. I shall only quote one Passage in Horace,
which may serve to illustrate the Whole, and is as follows.
Strenuus et fortis, causisq ; Philippus agendis
Clarus, ab officiis octavam circiter horam
Dum redit : atq ; foro nimium distare carinas
Jam grandis natu queritur, conspexit, ut aiunt,
Adrasum quendam vacua tonsoris in umbra.
Cultello proprios purgantem leniter ungues.
Hor. Epist. Lib. I. 7.
By which we may understand, that the Tonsoris Umbra, or
Barber's Shop, was the common Rendezvous of every idle
Fellow, who had no more to do than to pair his Nails, talk
Politicks, and see, and to be seen.
But to return to the Point in Question. If we would know
why the Barbers are so eminent for their Skill in Politicks,
it will be necessary to lay aside the Appellation of Barber,
and confine ourselves to that of Shaver and Trimmer,
which will naturally lead us to consider the near Relation
which subsists between Shaving, Trimming and Politicks,
from whence we shall discover that Shaving and Trimming
is not the Province of the Mechanic alone, but that there are
their several Shavers and Trimmers at Court, the Bar, in
Church and State.
And first, Shaving or Trimming, in a strict mechanical
Sense of the Word, signifies a cutting, sheering, lopping off,
and fleecing us of those Excrescencies of Hair, Nails, Flesh,
234 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1743
&c., which burthen and disguise our natural Endowments.
And is not the same practised over the whole World, by Men
of every Rank and Station ? Does not the corrupt Minister
lop off our Privileges and fleece us of our Money? Do not
the Gentlemen of the long Robe find means to cut off those
Excrescencies of the Nation, Highwaymen, Thieves and
Robbers ? And to look into the Church, who has been more
notorious for shaving and fleecing, than that Apostle of
Apostles, that Preacher of Preachers, the Rev. Mr. G. W. ?
But I forbear making farther mention of this spiritual Shaver
and Trimmer, lest I should affect the Minds of my Readers
as deeply as his Preaching has affected their Pockets.
The second Species of Shavers and Trimmers are those
who, according to the English Phrase, make the best of a
bad Market: Such as cover (what is called by an eminent
Preacher) their poor Dust in tinsel Cloaths and gaudy
Plumes of Feathers. A Star, and Garter, for Instance, adds
Grace, Dignity and Lustre to a gross corpulent Body ; and a
competent Share of religious Horror thrown into the Counte-
nance, with proper Distortions of the Face, and the Addition
of a lank Head of Hair, or a long Wig and Band, com-
mands a most profound Respect to Insolence and Ignorance.
The Pageantry of the Church of Rome is too well known for
me to instance: It will not however be amiss to observe,
that his Holiness the Pope, when he has a Mind to fleece his
Flock of a good round Sum, sets off the Matter with Briefs,
Pardons, Indulgencies, &c. &c. &c.
The Third and last Kind of Shavers and Trimmers are
those who (in Scripture Language) are carried away with
every Wind of Doctrine. The Vicars of Bray, and those
who exchange their Principles with the Times, may justly
1743] SHAVERS AND TRIMMERS 235
be referred to this Class. But the most odious Shavers and
Trimmers of this Kind, are a certain set of Females, called
(by the polite World) JILTS. I cannot give my Readers a
more perfect Idea of these than by quoting the following
Lines of the Poet :
Fatally fair they are, and in their Smiles
The Graces, little Loves, and young Desires inhabit;
But they are false luxurious in their Appetites,
And all the Heav'n they hope for, is Variety.
One Lover to another still succeeds,
Another and another after that,
And the last Fool is welcome as the former ;
Till having lov'd his Hour out, he gives his Place,
And mingles with the Herd that went before him.
Rowers Fair Penitent.
Lastly, I cannot but congratulate my Neighbours on the
little Favour which is shown to Shavers and Trimmers by the
People of this Province. The Business is at so low an Ebb,
that the worthy Gentleman whose Advertisement I have
chosen for the Motto of my Paper, acquaints us he will leave
it off after the 22d of August next. I am of Opinion that all
possible Encouragement ought to be given to Examples of
this Kind, since it is owing to this that so perfect an Under-
standing is cultivated among ourselves, and the Chain of
Friendship is brightened and perpetuated with our good
Allies, the Indians. The Antipathy which these sage Natu-
ralists bear to Shaving and Trimming, is well known.
I am, Yours, &c.
236 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1743
TO THE PUBLICK 1
* * * Causis Philippus agendis
Claras, * * *
S. P. D.
My Paper on Shavers and Trimmers, in the last Gazette,
being generally condemn'd, I at first imputed it to the Want
of Taste and Relish for Pieces of that Force and Beauty,
which none but University-bred Gentlemen can produce:
But upon Advice of Friends, whose Judgment I could de-
pend on, I examined myself and to my Shame must confess,
that I found myself to be an uncircumcised Jew, whose Ex-
crescencies of Hair, Nails, Flesh, &c. did burthen and dis-
guise my Natural Endowments; but having my Hair and
Nails since lopp'd off and shorn, and my fleshly Excrescencies
circumcised, I now appear in my wonted Lustre, and expect
a speedy Admission among the Levites, which I have already
the Honour of among the Poets and Natural Philosophers.
I have one Thing more to add, which is, That I had no real
Animosity against the Person whose Advertisement I made
the Motto of my Paper ; but (as may appear to all who have
been Big with Pieces of this Kind) what I had long on my
Mind, I at last unburden'd myself of. O ! these JILTS still
run in my Mind.
N.B. The Publick perhaps may suppose this Confession
forced upon me ; but if they repair to the P Pe in Second-
street, they may see Me, or the Original hereof under my
own Hand, and be convinced that this is genuine.
1 From The Pennsylvania Gazette, June 30, 1743.
1743] TO MRS. JANE MECOM 237
37. TO WILLIAM STRAHAN 1 (p. c.)
PHILADELPHIA, July 10, 1743.
SIR : Mr. Read has communicated to me part of a letter
from you, recommending a young man 2 whom you would
be glad to see in better business than that of a journeyman
printer. I have already three printing-houses in different
colonies, and purpose to set up a fourth if I can meet with a
proper person to manage it, having all materials ready for that
purpose. If the young man will venture over hither, that I
may see and be acquainted with him, we can treat about the
affair, and I make no doubt but he will think my proposals
reasonable ; if we should not agree, I promise him, however,
a twelve-month's good work, and to defray his passage back
if he inclines to return to England. I am, sir, your humble
servant unknown,
B. FRANKLIN.
38. TO MRS. JANE MECOM 3
PHILADELPHIA, July 28, 1743.
DEAREST SISTER JENNY,
I took your admonition very kindly, and was far from being
offended at you for it. If I say any thing about it to you, it
1 Printed by Bigelow, Vol. X, p. 233. Strahan's papers are now widely
dispersed in private collections. William Strahan (1715-1785), a printer and
publisher, was a junior partner of Andrew Millar, and, after 1 768, a partner of
Thomas Cadell, the elder. He published Gibbon's " Decline and Fall," and
the histories of Robertson and Hume. He was Hume's literary executor.
He became King's Printer in 1769. ED.
8 David Hall.
* From " The Works of Dr. Benjamin Franklin," Philadelphia. Published
by William Duane, 1817, Vol. VI, p. 5.
238 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1743
is only to rectify some wrong opinions you seem to have en-
tertained of me; and this I do only because they give you
some uneasiness, which I am unwilling to be the occasion of.
You express yourself, as if you thought I was against the
worshipping of God, and doubt that good works would merit
heaven ; which are both fancies of your own, I think, without
foundation. I am so far from thinking that God is not to be
worshipped, that I have composed and wrote a whole book
of devotions for my own use ; and I imagine there are few if
any in the world so weak as to imagine that the little good
we can do here can merit so vast a reward hereafter.
There are some things in your New England doctrine and
worship, which I do not agree with; but I do not therefore
condemn them, or desire to shake your belief or practice of
them. We may dislike things that are nevertheless right in
themselves. I would only have you make me the same
allowance, and have a better opinion both of morality and
your brother. Read the pages of Mr. Edwards's late book,
entitled "Some Thoughts concerning the present Revival of
Religion in New England," from 367 to 375, and when you
judge of others, if you can perceive the fruit to be good, don't
terrify yourself that the tree may be evil; but be assured it
is not so, for you know who has said, "Men do not gather
grapes of thorns and figs of thistles." I have no time to add,
but that I shall always be your affectionate brother,
B. FRANKLIN.
P. S. It was not kind in you, when your sister com-
mended good works, to suppose she intended it a reproach
to you. It was very far from her thoughts.
1744] PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD 239
39. PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD, 1744 (p. H. s.)
Courteous Reader,
This is the Twelfth Year that I have in this Way laboured
for the Benefit of Whom ? of the Publick, if you '11 be
so good-natured as to believe it ; if not, e'en take the naked
Truth, 't was for the Benefit of my own dear self ; not for-
getting in the mean time, our gracious Consort and Dutchess
the peaceful, quiet, silent Lady Bridget. But whether my
Labours have been of any Service to the Publick or not, the
Publick I must acknowledge has been of Service to me; I
have lived Comfortably by its Benevolent Encouragement;
and I hope I shall always bear a grateful Sense of its con-
tinued Favour.
My Adversary J . . n J n has indeed made an
Attempt to out-shine me by pretending to penetrate a Year
deeper into Futurity; and giving his Readers gratis in his
Almanack for 1743 an Eclipse of the Year 1744, to be before-
hand with me: His Words are, "The first Day of April next
"Year 1744, there will be a GREAT ECLIPSE of the Sun;
"it begins about an Hour before Sunset. It being in the
"Sign Aries, the House of Mars, and in the 7th, shows Heat,
" Difference and Animosities between Persons of the highest
"Rank and Quality," &c. I am very glad, for the Sake of
* * * se Persons of Rank and Quality, that there is * * man-
ner of Truth in this Prediction : They may, ***** please,
live in Love and Peace. And I ***** his Readers (they
are but few, indeed, and so the Matter 's the less) not to give
themselves any Trouble about observing this imaginary
Great Eclipse ; for they may stare till they 're blind without
240 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
seeing the least Sign of it. I might, on this Occasion, return
Mr. / n the Name of Baal's false Prophet he gave me
some Years ago in his Wrath, on Account of my Predicting
his Reconciliation with the Church of Rome, (tho* he seems
now to have given up that Point) but I think such Language
******* old Men and Scholars unbecoming; and
********** the Affair with the Buyers of this Almanack
as well as he can, who perhaps will not take it very kindly,
that he has done what in him lay (by sending them out to gaze
at an invisible Eclipse on the first of April) to make April
Fools of them all. His old threadbare Excuse which he
repeats Year after Year about the Weather, "That no man
can be infallible therein, by Reason of the many contrary
Causes happening at or near the same time, and the Uncon-
stancy of the Summer Showers and Gusts," etc. will hardly
serve him in the Affair of Eclipses; and I know not where
he '11 get another.
I have made no Alteration in my usual Method, except add-
ing the Rising and Setting of the Planets, and the Lunar
Conjunctions. Those who are so disposed, may thereby
very readily learn to know the Planets, and distinguish them
from each other. / am, dear Reader,
Thy obliged Friend
R. SAUNDERS.
40. TO CADWALLADER GOLDEN 1 (L. c.)
SlR, PHILADELPHIA, November 4, 1743.
I received the favour of yours, with the proposal for a new
method of printing, which I am much pleased with; and,
1 Transcript in Library of Congress. Cadwallader Golden (1688-1776)
published a "History of the Five Indian Nations" (New York, 1727; Lon-
1744] TO WILLIAM STRAHAN 241
since you express some confidence in my opinion, I shall
consider it very attentively and particularly, and in a post or
two send you some observations on every article. 1
My long absence from home in the summer put my busi-
ness so much behindhand, that I have been in a continual
hurry ever since my return, and had no leisure to forward
the scheme of the Society. But that hurry being now near
over, I purpose to proceed in the affair very soon, your
approbation being no small encouragement to me.
I cannot but be fond of engaging in a correspondence so
advantageous to me as yours must be. I shall always receive
your favours as such, and with great pleasure.
I wish I could by any means have made your son's longer
stay here as agreeable to him, as it would have been to those
who began to be acquainted with him.
I am, Sir, with much respect,
Your most humble servant,
B. FRANKLIN.
41. TO WILLIAM STRAHAN 3 (P. c.)
, Feb. 12, 1744.
SIR,
I received your Favour per Mr. Chew, dated Sept. 10.
and a Copy via Boston. I received also Mr. Middleton's
don, 1745), and "Principles of Action in Matter," with a treatise on "Flux-
ions," London, 1752. ED.
1 The " proposal " here referred to, which was evidently an original inven-
tion of Mr. Golden, has some resemblance to the early attempts at stereotype
printing. Franklin's " observations " have not been found. ED.
3 Printed by Bigelow, " Life of Benjamin Franklin," 5th edition, 1905,
Vol. I, p. 375. Printed here from Puttick and Simpson's Catalogue, No. 374,
July 1 6, 1888.
VOL. II R
242 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
pieces. 1 I am pleased to hear that my old Acquaintance
Mr. Wiggate, is promoted, and hope the Discovery will be
compleated. I would not have you be too nice in the Choice
of Pamphlets you send me. Let me have everything, good
or bad, that makes a Noise and has a Run: For I have
Friends here of different tastes to oblige with the sight of
them.
"If Mr. Warburton publishes a New Edition of Pope's
Works, please to send it me as soon as it is out, 6 setts. That
Poet has many Admirers here, and the Reflection he some-
where casts on the Plantations as if they had a Relish for
such Writers as Ward 2 only, is injurious. Your Authors
know but little of the Fame they have on this side of the
Ocean. We are a kind of Posterity in respect to them.
We read their Works with perfect impartiality, being at too
great a distance to be byassed by the Factions, Parties and
Prejudices that prevail among you. We know nothing of
their Personal Failings; the Blemishes in their Charactre
never reaches [sic] us, and therefore the bright and amiable
part strikes us with its full Force. They have never of-
fended us or any of our Friends, and we have no competi-
tions with them, therefore we praise and admire them without
Restraint. Whatever Thomson writes send me a dozen
copies of. I had read no poetry for several years, and almost
lost the Relish of it, till I met with his Seasons. That charm-
1 See Letter to Strahan, July 4, 1 744.
2 Edward Ward (1667-1731), "The London Spy," a writer of Hudibrastic
verse. His works sold in great numbers in the Plantations. Hence Pope's
reference to him in the Dunciad i, 234:
" Nor sail with Ward to ape-and-monkey climes
Where vile Mundungus trucks for viler rhymes."
ED.
1744] TO WILLIAM STRAHAN 243
ing Poet has brought more Tears of Pleasure into my Eyes
than all I ever read before. I wish it were in my Power to
return him any Part of the joy he has given me."
I purpose to send you by a Ship that is to sail shortly from
this port a bill and an invoice of Books that I shall want for
Sale in my Shop, which I doubt not you will procure as
cheap as possible, otherwise I shall not be able to sell them,
as here is one who is furnish'd by Oswald that sells exces-
sively low: I cannot conceive upon what Terms they deal.
The Pamphlets and Newspapers I shall be glad to receive
by way of N. York and Boston when there is no Ship directly
hither. If you direct them for B. F., Postm. Philada., they
will come readily to hand from those Places. Mr. Hall is
perfectly well and gains Ground daily in the Esteem of all that
know him. I hope Caslon 1 will not delay casting the Eng-
lish Fount I wrote to you for, so long as he has some that
have been sent me. I have no doubt but Mr. Hall will suc-
ceed well hi what he undertakes. He is obliging, discreet,
industrious, and honest; and where those Qualities meet,
Things seldom go amiss. Nothing in my Power shall be
wanting to serve him. I cannot return your Compliments
in Kind, this Quaker plain Country producing none. All
I can do is to demonstrate, by a hearty Readiness in serving
you when I have an Opportunity, or any Friend you recom-
mend, that I do truly esteem and love you, being, Sir,
Your obliged humble Servant
B. FRANKLIN.
1 William Caslon (1692-1766), the English Elzevir. At the time this
letter was written his foundry was in Chiswell Street, and he had taken his
son into partnership with him. ED.
244 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
42. PREFACE TO LOGAN'S TRANSLATION
OF "CATO MAJOR" 1
THE PRINTER TO THE READER
This Version of Cicero's Tract de Senectute, was made
Ten Years since, by the Honourable and Learned Mr.
Logan, of this City; undertaken partly for his own Amuse-
ment, (being then in his 6oth Year, which is said to be nearly
the Age of the Author when he wrote it) 2 but principally
for the Entertainment of a Neighbour then in his grand
Climacteric; and the Notes were drawn up solely on that
Neighbour's Account, who was not so well acquainted as
himself with the Roman History and Language: Some
other Friends, however, (among whom I had the Honour to
be ranked) obtained Copies of it in MS. And, as I believed
it to be in itself equal at least, if not far preferable to any
other Translation of the same Piece extant in our Language,
besides the Advantage it has of so many valuable Notes,
which at the same time they clear up the Text, are highly
instructive and entertaining ; I resolved to give it an Impres-
sion, being confident that the Publick would not unfavourably
receive it.
1 M. T. Cicero's " Cato Major, or his Discourse of Old- Age : With Explana-
tory Notes. Philadelphia. Printed and sold by B. Franklin, 1744."
2 Logan wrote to Franklin (February 26, 1744) : "Pray do not forget to
mention that it was done ten years since in the 6oth year of my life nearly the
same age that Cicero was when he wrote the original, tho' perhaps he was a
year or two older : that it was wrote only for my own diversion and for the
entertainment of a Friend less skill'd in the language or the history of Rome,
and far from the thought of ever seeing it in print, for I well know there were
other English versions of it, tho' I had never seen one of them." (Cicero
was in his 63d year.) ED.
1744] PREFACE TO LOG AW S TRANSLATION 245
A certain Freed-man of Cicero's is reported to have said
of a medicinal Well, discovered in his Time, wonderful for
the Virtue of its Waters in restoring Sight to the Aged, That
it was a Gift of the bountiful Gods to Men, to the end that
all might now have the Pleasure of reading his Master's
Works. As that Well, if still in being, is at too great a Dis-
tance for our Use, I have, Gentle Reader, as thou seest,
printed this Piece of Cicero's in a large and fair Character,
that those who begin to think on the Subject of Old Age,
(which seldom happens till their Sight is somewhat impair'd
by its Approaches) may not, in Reading, by the Pain small
Letters give the Eyes, feel the Pleasure of the Mind in the
least allayed.
I shall add to these few Lines my hearty Wish, that this
first Translation of a Classic in this Western World, may
by followed with many others, performed with equal Judg-
ment and Success ; and be a happy Omen, that Philadelphia
shall become the Seat of the American Muses.
PHILADELPHIA, Febr. 29. I743-4. 1
1 James Logan (1674-1751) came to America as secretary to William
Penn. He was a man of great learning and accumulated the most valuable
library upon the Western Continent. He was the friend and correspondent
of Fabricius, and through him secured books which " neither price nor prayers
could buy." Franklin's literary education was derived from Logan's library
at Stenton. The following letter gives a good notion of the relation existing
between the great scholar and the eager pupiL
STENTON, May 6, 1741.
MY GOOD FRIEND B. FRANKLIN :
I return thee all thy Books with my hearty thanks for thy trouble in favour-
ing me with a sight of them, and am highly pleased there are any in the
Province who are so fond of such studies, and at the same time so well fur-
nish'd with cash as to take them all together in their present condition at
those Prices. But as I have some knowledge of the unhappy young man that
most (not all) of them belonged to, I am sorry he should strain so far as to
say the Homer cost him 4 Moydores. For one of the same, most exquisitely
246 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
43. AN
ACCOUNT
OF THE NEW-INVENTED
PENNSYLVANIAN FIRE-PLACES;
WHEREIN
THEIR CONSTRUCTION AND MANNER OF OPERATION IS PARTICULARLY
EXPLAINED; THEIR ADVANTAGES ABOVE EVERY OTHER METHOD
OF WARMING ROOMS DEMONSTRATED; AND ALL OBJECTIONS THAT
HAVE BEEN RAISED AGAINST THE USE OF THEM ANSWERED AND
OBVIATED. WITH DIRECTIONS FOR PUTTING THEM UP, AND FOR
USING THEM TO THE BEST ADVANTAGE. AND A COPPER-PLATE
IN WHICH THE SEVERAL PARTS OF THE MACHINE ARE EXACTLY
LAID DOWN, FROM A SCALE OF EQUAL PARTS.
PHILADELPHIA :
PRINTED AND SOLD BY B. FRANKLIN. I744- 1
In these Northern Colonies the Inhabitants keep Fires to
sit by, generally Seven Months in the Year ; that is, from the
Beginning of October to the End of April; and in some
Winters near Eight Months, by taking in part of September
and May.
bound, was offer'd to me the same year they were printed (1711) for less than
one, and I never heard they were much started. I have one of the same
edition of the Herodotus, perfect with all its maps of which this has not one
that was bought of Ch. Bateman for 14 sh'gs for Wm. Masters, but this has
been bound at least a second time, and only in sheepskin after it had been
grossly abused, etc. I therefore advise thee by all means to accept the offer
tho' with some considerable abatement, but I would willingly know who the
Possessor is to be of the Ovid, for I want the use of the 3d vol. for about a
week at most. I hope notwithstanding it suits us not to deal at present,
Thou wilt still continue thy resolution to favour us with a visit.
Thy real friend,
JAMES LOGAN.
1 Published in November, 1744.
1744] PENNSYLVANIAN FIRE-PLACES 247
Wood, our common Fewel, which within these 100 Years
might be had at every Man's Door, must now be fetch'd
near 100 Miles to some Towns, and makes a very consider-
able Article in the Expence of Families.
As therefore so much of the Comfort and Conveniency of
our Lives, for so great a Part of the Year, depends on the
Article of Fire; since Fuel is become so expensive, and (as
the Country is more clear'd and settled) will of course grow
scarcer and dearer ; any new Proposal for Saving the Wood,
and for lessening the Charge and augmenting the Benefit of
Fire, by some particular Method of Making and Managing
it, may at least be thought worth Consideration.
The New Fire-Places are a late Invention to that purpose,
(experienced now three Winters by a great Number of Fami-
lies in Pennsylvania) of which this Paper is intended to give
a particular Account.
That the Reader may the better judge whether this Method
of Managing Fire has any Advantage over those heretofore
in Use, it may be proper to consider both the old and new
Methods, separately and particularly, and afterwards make
the Comparison.
In order to this 'tis necessary to understand well some few
of the Properties of Air and Fire, viz.
i. Air is rarified by Heat, and condens'd by Cold, i.e. the
same Quantity of Air takes up more Space when warm than
when cold. This may be shown by several very easy Ex-
periments. Take any clear Glass Bottle (a Florence Flask
stript of the Straw is best), place it before the Fire, and, as
the Air within is warm'd and rarified, part of it will be driven
out of the Bottle ; turn it up, place its Mouth in a Vessel of
Water, and remove it from the Fire ; then, as the Air within
248 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
cools and contracts, you will see the Water rise in the Neck
of the Bottle, supplying the Place of just so much Air as was
driven out. Hold a large hot Coal near the Side of the
Bottle, and as the Air within feels the Heat, it will again
distend and force out the Water. Or, Fill a Bladder half-
full of Air, tie the Neck tight, and lay it before a Fire as near
as may be without scorching the Bladder; as the Air within
heats, you will perceive it to swell and fill the Bladder, till
it becomes tight, as if full blown : Remove it to a cool Place,
and you will see it fall gradually, till it becomes as lank as at
first.
2. Air ratified and distended by Heat is specifically *
lighter than it was before, and will rise in other Air of greater
Density. As Wood, Oil, or any other Matter specifically
lighter than Water, if plac'd at the Bottom of a Vessel of
Water, will rise till it comes to the Top ; so rarified Air will
rise in common Air, till it either comes to Air of equal Weight,
or is by Cold reduc'd to its former Density.
A Fire then being made hi any Chimney, the Air over
the Fire is rarified by the Heat, becomes lighter and there-
fore immediately rises in the Funnel, and goes out ; the other
Air in the Room (flowing towards the Chimney) supplies its
Place, is rarified in its turn, and rises likewise; the Place of
the Air thus carried out of the Room is supplied by fresh Air
coming in thro' Doors and Windows, or, if they be shut, thro'
every Crevice with Violence, as may be seen by holding a
Candle to a Key-hole : If the Room be so tight as that all
the Crevices together will not supply so much Air as is con-
1 Body or Matter of any sort is said to be specifically heavier or lighter
than other Matter, when it has more or less Substance or Weight in the same
Dimensions. F.
1744] PENNSYLVANIAN FIRE-PLACES 249
tinually carried off, then in a little time the Current up the
Funnel must flag, and the Smoke, being no longer driven up
must come into the Room.
1. Fire (i.e. Common Fire) throws out Light, Heat, and
Smoke (or Fume) The two first move in right Lines, and
with great Swiftness; the latter is but just separated from
the Fuel, and then moves only as it is carried by the Stream
of rarified Air. And without a continual Accession and
Recession of Air, to carry off the smoaky Fumes, they would
remain crouded about the Fire, and stifle it.
2. Heat may be separated from the Smoke as well as from
the Light, by means of a Plate of Iron, which will suffer Heat
to pass through it without the others.
3. Fire sends out its Rays of Heat, as well as Rays of
Light, equally every way: But the greatest sensible Heat
is over the Fire, where there is, besides the Rays of Heat shot
upwards, a continual rising Stream of hot Air, heated by the
Rays shot round on every Side.
These Things being understood, we proceed to consider
the Fire-places heretofore in Use, viz.
1. The large open Fire-places used in the Days of our
Fathers, and still generally in the Country, and in Kitchens.
2. The newer-fashion'd Fire-places, with low Breasts and
narrow Hearths.
3. Fire-places with hollow Backs, Hearths and Jams of
Iron, (described by Mons. Ganger) l for warming the Air
as it comes into the Room.
4. The Holland Stoves, with Iron Doors opening into the
Room.
5. The German Stoves, which have no Opening in the
1 In his Tract entitled, La Mechanique de Feu. F.
250 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
Room where they are us'd, but the Fire is put in from some
other Room, or from without.
6. Iron Pots, with open Charcoal Fires, plac'd in the
middle of a Room.
1. The first of these Methods has generally the Con-
veniency of two warm Seats, one in each Corner; but they
are sometimes too hot to abide in, and, at other times in-
commoded with the Smoke; there is likewise good Room
for the Cook to move, to hang on Pots, &c. Their Incon-
veniencies are, that they almost always smoke, if the Door
be not left open; that they require a large Funnel, and a
large Funnel carries off a great Quantity of Air, which occa-
sions what is called a strong Draft to the Chimney, without
which strong Draft the Smoke would come out of some Part
or other of so large an Opening so that the Door can seldom
be shut; and the cold Air so nips the Backs and Heels of
those that sit before the Fire, that they have no Comfort 'till
either Screens or Settles are provided (at a considerable
Expence) to keep it off, which both cumber the Room and
darken the Fire-side. A moderate Quantity of Wood on the
Fire in so large a Hearth, seems but little ; and, in so strong
and cold a Draught, warms but little; so that People are
continually laying on more. In short, 'tis next to impossible
to warm a Room with such a Fire-place : And I suppose our
Ancestors never thought of warming Rooms to sit in; all
they purposed was to have a Place to make a Fire in, by
which they might warm themselves when acold.
2. Most of these old-fashion'd Chimneys in Towns and
Cities, have been, of late Years, reduc'd to the second Sort
mention'd, by building Jambs within them, narrowing the
Hearth, and making a low Arch or Breast. 'Tis strange,
1744] PENNSYLVANIAN FIRE-PLACES 251
methinks, that tho' Chimneys have been so long in Use, their
Construction should be so little understood till lately, that
no Workman pretended to make one which should always
carry off all the Smoke, but a Chimney-cloth was look'd
upon as essential to a Chimney: This Improvement, how-
ever, by small Openings and low Breasts, has been made in
our Days ; and Success in the first Experiments has brought
it into general Use in Cities, so that almost all new Chimneys
are now made of that sort, and much fewer Bricks will
make a Stack of Chimneys now than formerly. An Improve-
ment so lately made, may give us Room to believe, that still
farther Improvements may be found, to remedy the Incon-
veniencies yet remaining. For these new Chimneys, tho'
they keep Rooms generally free from Smoke, and, the Open-
ing being contracted, will allow the Door to be shut, yet the
Funnel still requiring a considerable Quantity of Air, it
rushes in at every Crevice so strongly, as to make a continual
Whistling or Howling; and 'tis very uncomfortable as well
as dangerous to sit against any such Crevice. Many Colds
are caught from this Cause only; it being safer to sit in the
open Street ; for then the Pores do all close together, and the
Air does not strike so sharply against any particular Part.
The Spaniards have a Proverbial Saying,
" If the Wind blows on you thro 1 a Hole,
Make your Will, and take Care of your Soul."
Women, particularly, from this Cause, (as they sit much in
the House) get Colds in the Head, Rheums, and Defluctions,
which fall into their Jaws and Gums, and have destroy'd
early many a fine set of Teeth in these Northern Colonies.
Great and bright Fires do also very much contribute to dam-
2 S 2 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
age the Eyes, dry and shrivel the Skin, and bring on early
the Appearances of Old- Age. In short, many of the Diseases
proceeding from Colds, as Fevers, Pleurisies, &c., fatal to
very great Numbers of People, may be ascrib'd to strong-
drawing Chimneys, whereby, in severe Weather, a Man is
scorch'd before, while he's froze behind. 1 In the mean
1 As the Writer is neither Physician nor Philosopher, the Reader may
expect he should justify these his Opinions by the Authority of some that
are so. M. Clare, F. R. S., in his Treatise of The Motion of Fluids, says,
(p. 246, &c.) " And here it may be remarked, that 'tis more prejudicial to
Health to sit near a Window or Door, in a Room where there are many Can-
dles and a Fire, than in a Room without : For the Consumption of Air thereby
occasioned, will always be very considerable, and this must necessarily be
replaced by cold Air from without. Down the Chimney can enter none, the
Stream of warm Air always arising therein absolutely forbids it : The Supply
must therefore come in wherever other Openings shall be found. If these
happen to be small, Let those who sit near them beware; the smaller the
Floodgate, the smarter will be the Stream. Was a Man, even in a Sweat, to
leap into a cold Bath, or jump from his warm Bed, in the intensest cold, even
in a Frost, provided he do not continue over-long therein, and be in Health
when he does this, we see by experience, that he gets no Harm. If he sits a
little while against a Window, into which a successive Current of cold Air
comes, his Pores are closed, and he gets a Fever. In the first Case, the Shock
the Body endures is general, uniform, and therefore less fierce ; in the other,
a single Part, a Neck, or Ear perchance, is attacked, and that with the greater
Violence probably, as it is done by a successive Stream of cold Air. And the
Cannon of a Battery, pointed against a single Part of a Bastion, will easier
make a Breach than were they directed to play singly upon the whole Face,
and will admit the Enemy much sooner into the Town."
That warm Rooms, and keeping the Body warm in Winter, are Means of
preventing such Diseases, take the Opinion of that learned Italian Physician,
Antonio Portia, in the Preface to his Tract De Militis Sanitate tuenda, where,
speaking of a particular wet and cold Winter, remarkable at Venice for its
Sickliness, he says, " Popularis autem pleuritis, quze Venetiis sseviit mensibus
Dec., Jan., Feb., ex coeli, aerisq ; inclementiS facta est, quod non habeant hypo-
causta \_Stove- Rooms'], et quod non soliciti sunt Itali omnes de auribus,
temporibus, collo, totoq ; corpore defendendis ab injuriis aeris ; et tegmina
domorum Veneti disponant parum inclinata, ut nives diutius permaneant
super tegmina. E contra, Germani, qui experiuntur cceli inclementiam, per-
didicere sese defendere ab aeris injurift. Tecta construunt multum inclinata,
1744] PENNSYLVANIAN FIRE-PLACES 253
time, very little is done by these Chimneys towards wanning
the Room ; for the Air round the Fire-place, which is warm'd
by the direct Rays from the Fire, does not continue in the
Room, but is continually crouded and gather'd into the
Chimney by the Current of cold Air coming behind it, and
so is presently carried off.
In both these Sorts of Fire-places, the greatest Part of the
Heat from the Fire is lost : For as Fire naturally darts Heat
every way, the Back, the two Jambs, and the Hearth drink
up almost all that's given them, very little being reflected
from Bodies so dark, porous, and unpolish'd ; and the upright
Heat, which is by far the greatest, flies directly up the Chim-
ney. Thus Five Sixths at least of the Heat (and conse-
quently of the Fewel) is wasted, and contributes nothing
towards warming the Room.
3. To remedy this, the Sieur Ganger gives us, in his Book
ut dccidant nives. German! abundant lignis, domusque hypocaustis ; foris
autem incedunt pannis, pellibus, gossipio, bene mehercule loricati atq ;
muniti. In Bavaria interrogabam (curiositate motus videndi Germaniam)
quot narn elapsis mensibus pleuritide vel peripneumunia fuissent absumti ;
dicebant vix unus aut alter illis temporibus pleuritide fuit correptus."
The great Dr. Boerhaave, whose Authority alone might be sufficient, in his
Aphorisms mentions, as one antecedent Cause of Pleurisies, "a cold Air
driven violently through some narrow Passage upon the Body, overheated by
Labour or Fire."
The eastern Physicians agree with the Europeans in this Point ; witness the
Chinese Treatise, entitled Tchang Seng, i.e. The Art of procuring Health and
long Life, as translated in Pire Du Haiders Account of China, which has this
Passage. " As of all the Passions which ruffle us, Anger does the most mis-
chief, so of all the malignant Affections of the Air, a Wind that comes thro'
any narrow Passage, which is cold and piercing, is most dangerous ; and,
coming upon us unawares, insinuates itself into the Body, often causing
grievous Diseases. It should therefore be avoided, according to the Advice
of the ancient Proverb, as carefully as the Point of an Arrow." These Mis-
chiefs are avoided by the Use of the new-invented Fire-places, as will be
shewn hereafter. F.
254 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
entitled La Mechanique de Feu, published 1709, seven dif-
ferent Constructions of the third sort of Chimneys men-
tioned above, in which there are hollow Cavities made by
Iron Plates in the Back, Jambs, and Hearths, thro' which
Plates the Heat passing warms the Air in those Cavities,
which is continually coming into the Room fresh and warm.
The Invention was very ingenious, and had many Con-
veniencies : The Room was warm'd in all Parts, by the Air
flowing into it through the heated Cavities : Cold Air was
prevented rushing thro' the Crevices, the Funnel being
sufficiently supply'd by those Cavities: Much less Fuel
would serve, &c. But the first Expence, which was very
great; the Intricacy of the Design, and the Difficulty of the
Execution, especially in old Chimneys, discouraged the
Propagation of the Invention ; so that there are, (I suppose,)
very few such Chimneys now in Use. [The upright Heat,
too, was almost all lost in these, as in the common Chimneys.]
4. The Holland Iron Stove, which has a Flue proceeding
from the Top, and a small Iron Door opening into the Room,
comes next to be considered. Its Conveniences are, that
it makes a Room all over warm; for the Chimney being
wholly closed, except the Flue of the Stove, very little Air is
required to supply that, and therefore not much rushes in
at Crevices, or at the Door when 'tis opened. Little Fewel
serves, the Heat being almost all saved; for it rays out
almost equally from the four Sides, the Bottom, and the
Top, into the Room, and presently warms the Air around it,
which, being rarified, rises to the Cieling, and its Place is
supplied by the lower Air of the Room, which flows gradu-
ally towards the Stove, and is there warm'd and rises in
its turn, so that there is a continual Circulation till all the
1744] PENNSYLVANIAN FIRE-PLACES 255
Air in the Room is wanned. The Air, too, is gradually
changed by the Stove- Door's being in the Room, thro'
which, part of it is continually passing, and that makes these
Stoves wholesomer, or at least pleasanter, than the German
Stoves next to be spoke of. But they have these Incon-
veniences. There is no Sight of the Fire, which is in itself
a pleasant Thing. One cannot conveniently make any
other Use of the Fire but that of warming the Room. When
the Room is warm, People not seeing the Fire are apt to
forget supplying it with Fuel 'til 'tis almost out, then, grow-
ing cold, a great deal of Wood is put in, which soon makes it
too hot. The Change of Air is not carried on quite quick
enough; so that, if any Smoke or ill Smell happens in the
Room, 'tis a long time before 'tis discharged. For these
Reasons the Holland Stove has not obtain'd much among
the English (who love the Sight of the Fire) unless in some
Workshops, where People are oblig'd to sit near Windows for
the Light, and in such Places they have been found of good
Use.
5. The German Stove is like a Box, one Side wanting.
'Tis composed of Five Iron Plates, scru'd together, and
fix'd so as that you may put the Fuel into it from another
Room, or from, the Outside of the House. 'Tis a kind of
Oven revers'd, its Mouth being without, and Body within
the Room that is to be warm'd by it. This Invention cer-
tainly warms a Room very speedily and thoroughly with
little Fuel : No Quantity of cold Air comes in at any Crevice,
because there is no Discharge of Air which it might supply,
there being no Passage into the Stove from the Room. These
are its Conveniences. Its Inconveniences are, That People
have not even so much Sight or Use of the Fire as in the
256 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
Holland Stoves, and are moreover oblig'd to breathe the
same unchang'd Air continually, mix'd with the Breath and
Perspiration from one another's Bodies, which is very dis-
agreeable to those who have not been accustomed to it.
6. Charcoal Fires, in Pots, are us'd chiefly in the Shops
of Handicraftsmen. They warm a Room (that is kept close
and has no Chimney to carry off the warm'd Air,) very
speedily and uniformly: But there being no Draught to
change the Air, the sulphurous Fumes from the Coals (be
they ever so well kindled before they are brought in, there
will be some) mix with it, render it disagreeable, hurtful to
some Constitutions, and sometimes, when the Door is long
kept shut, produce fatal consequences.
To avoid the several Inconveniences, and at the same time
retain all the Advantages of other Fire-places, was contrived
the PENNSYLVANIA FIRE-PLACE, now to be described.
This Machine consists of
A Bottom Plate, (i) (See Plate V.)
A Back Plate, (ii)
Two Side Plates, (iii, iii)
Two Middle Plates, (iv, iv) which, join'd together form
a tight Box with winding Passages in it for warming the Air.
A Front Plate, (v)
A Top Plate, (vi)
These are all of cast Iron, with Mouldings or Ledges
where the Plates come together, to hold them fast, and retain
the Mortar us'd for Pointing to make tight Joints. When
the Plates are all in their Places, a Pair of slender Rods
with Screws, are sufficient to bind the Whole very firmly
together, as it appears in Fig. 2.
There are, moreover, two thin Plates of wrought Iron, viz.
^1
1744] PENNSYLVANIA!* FIRE-PLACES 257
the Shutter (vii) and the Register (viii) ; besides the Screw-
Rods, O, P, all which we shall explain in their Order.
(i) The Bottom Plate, or Hearth-Piece, is round before,
with a rising Moulding, that serves as a Fender to keep Coals
and Ashes from coming to the Floor, &c. It has two Ears,
F, G, perforated to receive the Screw-Rods, O P; a long
Air-Hole, a a, thro' which the fresh outward Air passes up
into the Air-Box ; and three Smoke-Holes, B C thro' which
the Smoke descends and passes away; all represented by
dark Squares. It has also double Ledges to receive between
them the Bottom Edges of the Back Plate, the two Side
Plates, and the two Middle Plates. These Ledges are about
an Inch asunder, and about half an Inch high ; a Profile of
two of them, join'd to a Fragment of Plate, appears in Fig. 3.
(ii) The Back Plate is without Holes, having only a Pair
of Ledges on each Side, to receive the Back Edges of the two.
(iii, iii) Side Plates: These have each a Pair of Ledges
to receive the Side Edges of the Front Plate, and a little
Shoulder for it to rest on; also two Pair of Ledges to re-
ceive the Side Edges of the two Middle Plates, which form
the Air- Box; and an oblong Air-hole near the Top, thro'
which is discharged into the Room the Air warm'd in the
Air-Box. Each has also a Wing or Bracket, H and 7, to
keep in falling Brands, Coals, &c., and a small Hole, Q
and R, for the Axis of the Register to turn in.
(iv, iv) The Air-Box is compos'd of the two Middle
Plates, D E and F G. The first has five thin Ledges or
Partitions, cast on it, two Inches deep, the Edges of which
are receiv'd in so many Pair of Ledges cast in the other.
The Tops of all the Cavities form'd by these thin deep
Ledges are also covered by a Ledge of the same Form and
VOL. II S
258 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
Depth, cast with them; so that when the Plates are put
together, and the Joints luted, there is no Communication
between the Air-Box and the Smoke. In the winding Pas-
sages of this Box, fresh Air is warm'd as it passes into the
Room.
(v) The Front Plate is arch'd on the under Side, and
ornamented with Foliages, &c. ; it has no Ledges.
(vi) The Top Plate has a Pair of Ears, M N, answerable
to those in the Bottom Plate, and perforated for the same
Purpose: It has also a Pair of Ledges running round the
under Side, to receive the Top Edges of the Front, Back,
and Side Plates. The Air-Box does not reach up to the Top
Plate by two Inches and half.
(vii) The Shutter is of thin wrought Iron and light, of
such a Length and Breadth as to close well the Opening of
the Fire-place. It is us'd to blow up the Fire, and to shut
up and secure it a Nights. It has two brass Knobs for
Handles, d d, and commonly slides up and down in a Groove,
left, in putting up the Fire-place, between the foremost Ledge
of the Side Plates, and the Face of the Front Plate ; but some
choose to set it aside when it is not in Use, and apply it on
Occasion.
(viii) The Register, is also of thin wrought Iron. It is
plac'd between the Back Plate and Air-Box, and can, by
Means of the Key S be turn'd on its Axis so as to lie in any
Position between level and upright.
The Screw-Rods, O P are of wrought Iron, about a
third of an Inch thick, with a Button at Bottom, and a Screw
and Nut at Top; and may be ornamented with two small
Brasses screw'd on above the Nuts.
To put this Machine to work,
PROFILE OF THE PENNSYLYAJSTEA CHIMNEY AND FIRE-PLACE
C
Side View
STAFFORDSHIRE FIRE -PLACE. Page, 531.
front View
PLATE VI
1744] PENNSYLVANIA!* FIRE-PLACES 259
1. A false Back of four Inch (or, in shallow small Chim-
neys, two-Inch ) Brick- Work is to be made in the Chimney,
four Inches or more from the true Back: From the Top of
this false Back, a Closing is to be made over to the Breast of
the Chimney, that no Air may pass into the Chimney, but
what goes under the false Back, and up behind it.
2. Some Bricks of the Hearth are to be taken up, to form
a Hollow under the Bottom Plate; across which Hollow
runs a thin tight Partition, to keep apart the Air entring the
Hollow, and the Smoke ; and is therefore plac'd between the
Air-hole and Smoke-holes.
3. A Passage is made, communicating with the outward
Air, to introduce that Air into the fore part of the Hollow
under the Bottom Plate, whence it may rise thro' the Air-
hole into the Air-box.
4. A Passage is made from the back Part of the Hol-
low, communicating with the Flue behind the false Back:
Through this Passage the Smoke is to pass.
The Fire-place is to be erected upon these Hollows, by
putting all the Plates in their Places, and screwing them
together.
Its Operation may be conceiv'd by observing the Plate en-
titled, Pro-file of the Chimney and Fire-place. (See Plate VI.)
M The Mantel-piece, or Breast of the Chimney.
C The Funnel.
B The false Back and Closing.
E True Back of the Chimney.
T Top of the Fire-place.
F The Front of it.
A The Place where the Fire is made.
D The Air-Box.
26o THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
K The Hole in the Side plate, thro' which the warm'd
Air is discharg'd out of the Air-Box into the Room.
H The Hollow fill'd with fresh Air, entring at the Pas-
sage /, and ascending into the Air-Box thro' the Air-hole in
the Bottom plate, near
G The Partition in the Hollow to keep the Air and Smoke
apart.
P The Passage under the false Back and Part of the
Hearth for the Smoke.
[The arrows show] the Course of the Smoke.
The Fire being made at A, the Flame and Smoke will
ascend and strike the Top T, which will thereby receive a
considerable Heat. The Smoke, finding no Passage up-
wards, turns over the Top of the Air-box, and descends
between it and the Back Plate to the Holes in the Bottom
Plate, heating, as it passes, both Plates of the Air-box, and
the said Back Plate; the Front Plate, Bottom and Side
Plates are also all heated at the same Time. The Smoke
proceeds in the Passage that leads it under and behind the
false Back, and so rises into the Chimney. The Air of the
Room, warm'd behind the Back Plate, and by the Sides,
Front, and Top Plates, becoming specifically lighter than
the other Air in the Room, is oblig'd to rise ; but the Closure
over the Fire-place hindring it from going up the Chimney,
it is forc'd out into the Room, rises by the Mantle-piece to
the Cieling, and spreads all over the Top of the Room,
whence being crouded down gradually by the Stream of
newly-warm'd Air that follows and rises above it, the whole
Room becomes in a short time equally warmed.
At the same Time the Air, warmed under the Bottom
Plate and in the Air-Box, rises, and comes out of the Holes in
1744] PENNSYLVANIAN FIRE-PLACES 261
the Side Plates, very swiftly if the Door of the Room be shut,
and joins its Current with the Stream before mentioned,
rising from the Side, Back, and Top Plates.
The Air that enters the Room thro' the Air-box is fresh,
tho' warm; and computing the Swiftness of its Motion with
the Areas of the Holes, 'tis found that near 10 Barrels of
fresh Air are hourly introduc'd by the Air-Box ; and by this
Means the Air in the Room is continually changed, and
kept at the same Time sweet and warm.
'Tis to be observed, that the entring Air will not be warm
at first Lighting the Fire, but heats gradually as the Fire
encreases.
A square Opening for a Trap- Door should be left in the
Closing of the Chimney, for the Sweeper to go up: The
Door may be made of Slate or Tin, and commonly kept
close shut, but so plac'd as that turning up against the Back
of the Chimney when open, it closes the Vacancy behind the
false Back, and shoots the Soot, that falls in Sweeping, out
upon the Hearth. This Trap- Door is a very convenient Thing.
In Rooms where much Smoking of Tobacco is used, 'tis
also convenient to have a small Hole, about five or six Inches
square, cut near the Cieling through into the Funnel: This
Hole must have a Shutter, by -which it may be clos'd or open'd
at Pleasure. When open, there will be a strong Draught of
Air through it into the Chimney, which will presently carry
off a Cloud of Smoke, and keep the Room clear : If the Room
be too hot likewise, it will carry off as much of the warm Air
as you please, and then you may stop it intirely, or in part,
as you think fit. By this Means it is that the Tobacco Smoke
does not descend among the Heads of the Company near the
Fire, as it must do before it can get into common Chimneys.
262 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
The Manner of using this Fire-place
Your Cord- wood must be cut into three Lengths; or else
a short Piece, fit for the Fire-place, cut off, and the longer left
for the Kitchen or other Fires. Dry Hickery, or Ash, or any
Woods that burn with a clear Flame, are rather to be chosen,
because such are less apt to foul the Smoke Passages with
Soot ; and Flame communicates with its Light, as well as by
Contact, greater Heat to the Plates and Room. But where
more ordinary Wood is used, half a dry Faggot of Brushwood
burnt at the first making of Fire in the Morning, is very ad-
vantageous; as it immediately by its sudden Blaze heats
the Plates and warms the Room (which with bad Wood
slowly kindling would not be done so soon) and at the same
time, by the Length of its Flame turning in the Passages,
consumes and cleanses away the Soot that such bad smoaky
Wood had produc'd therein the preceding Day, and so keeps
them always free and clean. When you have laid a little
Back log, and plac'd your Billets on small Dogs, as in common
Chimneys, and put some Fire to them, then slide down your
Shutter as low as the Dogs, and the Opening being by that
means contracted, the Air rushes in briskly and presently
blows up the Flames. When the Fire is sufficiently kindled,
slide it up again. 1 In some of these Fire-places there is a
little six inch square Trap-door of thin wrought Iron or Brass,
1 The Shutter is slid up and down in this Manner, only in those Fire-places
which are so made, as that the Distance between the Top of the arch'd Open-
ing and the Bottom Plate is the same as the Distance between it and the Top
Plate. Where the Arch is higher, as it is in the Draught annex'd (which is
agreeable to the last Improvements), the Shutter is set by, and apply'd occa-
sionally : because, if it were made deep enough to close the whole Opening
when slid down, it would hide Part of it when up. F.
1744] PENNSYLVANIA!* FIRE-PLACES 263
covering a Hole of like Dimensions near the Fore part of the
Bottom Plate, which being by a Ring lifted up towards the
Fire, about an Inch, where it will be retain'd by two springing
Sides fix'd to it perpendicularly, (see Plate V., Fig. 4), the
Air rushes in from the Hollow under the Bottom Plate, and
blows the Fire. Where this is us'd, the Shutter serves only to
close the Fire a Nights. The more forward you can make
your Fire on the Hearth-Plate, not to be incommoded by the
Smoke, the sooner and more will the Room be warmed. At
Night, when you go to Bed, cover the Coals or Brands with
Ashes as usual; then take away the Dogs, and slide down
the Shutter close to the Bottom Plate, sweeping a little Ashes
against it that no Air may pass under it ; then turn the Reg-
ister, so as very near to stop the Flue behind. If no Smoke
then comes out at Crevices into the Room 'tis, right : If any
Smoke is perceiv'd to come out, move the Register so as to
give a little Draught, and 'twill go the right way. Thus the
Room will be kept warm all Night; for the Chimney being
almost entirely stopt, very little, if any, cold Air will enter the
Room at any Crevice. When you come to re-kindle the Fire
in the Morning, turn open the Register before you lift up the
Slider, otherwise if there be any Smoke in the Fire- Place, it
will come out into the Room. By the same Use of the Shut-
ter and Register, a blazing Fire may be presently stifled, as
well as secured, when you have Occasion to leave it for any
Time; and at your Return you will find the Brands warm,
and ready for a speedy Re-kindling. The Shutter alone will
not stifle a Fire ; for it cannot well be made to fit so exactly
but that Air will enter, and that in a violent Stream, so as
to blow up and keep alive the Flames, and consume the Wood,
if the Draught be not check'd by turning the Register to shut
264 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
the Flue behind. The Register has also two other Uses. If
you observe the Draught of Air into your Fire-place to be
stronger than is necessary (as in extream cold Weather it often
is) so that the Wood is consum'd faster than usual ; in that
Case, a quarter, half, or two-thirds Turn of the Register, will
check the Violence of the Draught, and let your Fire burn
with the Moderation you desire : And at the same Time both
the Fire- Place and the Room will be the wanner, because less
cold Air will enter and pass through them. And if the Chim-
ney should happen to take Fire (which indeed there is very
little Danger of, if the preceding Direction be observ'd in
making Fires, and it be well swept once a Year; for, much
less Wood being burnt, less Soot is proportionably made;
and the Fuel being soon blown into Flame by the Shutter, (or
the Trap-door Bellows) there is consequently less Smoke
from the Fuel to make Soot ; then, tho' the Funnel should be
foul, yet the Sparks have such a crooked up and down round-
about Way to go, that they are out before they get at it) I say,
if ever it should be on fire, a Turn of the Register shuts all
close, and prevents any Air going into the Chimney, and so
the Fire may easily be stifled and mastered.
The Advantages of this Fire-place
Its Advantages above the common Fire-places are,
i. That your whole Room is equally warmed; so that
People need not croud so close round the Fire, but may sit
near the Window, and have the Benefit of the Light for
Reading, Writing, Needlework, &c. They may sit with
Comfort in any Part of the Room, which is a very consider-
able Advantage in a large Family, where there must often be
two Fires kept, because all cannot conveniently come at one.
1744] PENNSYLVANIAN FIRE-PLACES 265
2. If you sit near the Fire, you have not that cold Draught
of uncomfortable Air nipping your Back and Heels, as when
before common Fires, by which many catch Cold, being
scorcht before, and, as it were, froze behind.
3. If you sit against a Crevice, there is not that sharp
Draught of cold Air playing on you, as in Rooms where
there are Fires in the common way; by which many catch
Cold, whence proceed Coughs, 1 Catarrhs, Tooth-achs, Fevers,
Pleurisies, and many other Diseases.
4. In Case of Sickness, they make most excellent Nursing-
Rooms ; as they constantly supply a Sufficiency of fresh Air,
so warmed at the same time as to be no way inconvenient or
dangerous. A small One does well in a Chamber; and, the
Chimneys being fitted for it, it may be remov'd from one
Room to another, as Occasion requires, and fix'd in half an
Hour. The equal Temper, too, and Warmth, of the Air of
the Room, is thought to be particularly advantageous in
some Distempers: For 'twas observed in the Winters of 1730
and 1736, when the Small-Pox spread in Pennsylvania, that
very few of the Children of the Germans died of that Dis-
temper in Proportion to those of the English; which was
ascrib'd by some to the Warmth and equal Temper of
Air in their Stove-Rooms; which made the Disease as
favourable as it commonly is in the West Indies. But this
Conjecture we submit to the judgment of Physicians.
1 My Lord Molesworth, in his account of Denmark, says, " That few or
none of the People there are troubled with Coughs, Catarrhs, Consumptions,
or such like Diseases of the Lungs ; so that in the Midst of Winter in the
Churches, which are very much frequented, there is no Noise to interrupt the
Attention due to the Preacher. I am persuaded" (says he) "their -warm
Stoves contribute to their Freedom from these kinds of Maladies," page 91.
F.
266 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
5. In common Chimneys, the strongest Heat from the
Fire, which is upwards, goes directly up the Chimney, and
is lost ; and there is such a strong Draught into the Chimney,
that not only the upright Heat, but also the back, sides, and
downward Heats are carried up the Chimney by that Draught
of Air ; and the Warmth given before the Fire, by the Rays
that strike out towards the Room, is continually driven back,
crouded into the Chimney, and carried up, by the same
Draught of Air. But here the upright Heat strikes and
heats the Top Plate, which warms the Air above it, and that
comes into the Room. The Heat likewise, which the Fire
communicates to the Sides, Back Bottom and Air-Box, is
all brought into the Room ; for you will find a constant Cur-
rent of warm Air coming out of the Chimney- Corner into
the Room. Hold a Candle just under the Mantle-Piece, or
Breast of your Chimney, and you will see the Flame bent
outwards: By laying a Piece of Smoaking Paper on the
Hearth, on either Side, you may see how the Current of Air
moves, and where it tends, for it will turn and carry the
Smoke with it.
6. Thus, as very little of the Heat is lost, when this Fire-
Place is us'd, much less Wood 1 will serve you, which is a
considerable Advantage where Wood is dear.
1 People, who have us'd these Fire-places, differ much in their Accounts
of the Wood saved by them. Some say five sixths, others three fourths, and
others much less. This is owing to the great Difference there was in their
former Fires ; some (according to the different Circumstances of their Rooms
and Chimneys) having been us'd to make very large, others middling, and
others, of a more sparing Temper, very small Ones. While in these Fire-
Places (their Size and Draught being nearly the same) the Consumption is
more equal. I suppose, taking a Number of Families together, that two
thirds, or half the Wood, at least, is saved. My common Room, I know, is
made twice as warm as it used to be, with a quarter of the Wood I formerly
consum'd there. F.
1744] PENNSYLVANIA!* FIRE-PLACES 267
7. When you burn Candles near this Fire-Place, you will
find that the Flame burns quite upright, and does not blare
and run the Tallow down, by drawing towards the Chimney,
as against common Fires.
8. This Fire-place cures most smoaky chimneys, and
thereby preserves both the Eyes and Furniture.
9. It prevents the Fouling of Chimneys; much of the
Lint and Dust that contributes to foul a Chimney, being by
the low Arch oblig'd to pass thro' the Flame, where 'tis
consum'd. Then, less Wood being burnt, there is less Smoke
made. Again, the Shutter, or Trap-Bellows, soon blowing
the Wood into a Flame, the same Wood does not yield so
much Smoke as if burnt in a common Chimney : For as soon
as Flame begins, Smoke, in proportion, ceases.
10. And, if a Chimney should be foul, 'tis much less likely
to take Fire. If it should take Fire, 'tis easily stifled and
extinguished.
11. A Fire may be very speedily made in this Fire-Place,
by the Help of the Shutter, or Trap-Bellows, as aforesaid.
12. A Fire may be soon extinguished by closing it with
the Shutter before, and turning the Register behind, which
will stifle it, and the Brands will remain ready to rekindle.
13. The Room being once warm, the Warmth may be
retain'd in it all Night.
14. And lastly, the Fire is so secur'd at Night, that not
one Spark can fly out into the Room to do Damage.
With all these Conveniencies, you do not lose the pleasing
Sight nor Use of the Fire, as in the Dutch Stoves, but may
boil the Tea-Kettle, warm the Flat-Irons, heat Heaters,
keep warm a Dish of Victuals by setting it on the Top,
&c. &c.
268 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
Objections answered
There are some Objections commonly made by People
that are unacquainted with these Fire-Places, which it may
not be amiss to endeavour to remove, as they arise from
Prejudices which might otherwise obstruct in some Degree
the general Use of this beneficial Machine. We frequently
hear it said, They are of the Nature of Dutch Stoves; Stoves
have an unpleasant Smell; Stoves are unwholesome; and
Warm Rooms make People tender, and apt to catch Cold. As
to the first, that they are of the Nature of Dutch Stoves, the
Description of those Stoves in the Beginning of this Paper,
compar'd with that of these Machines, shows that there is a
most material Difference, and that these have vastly the Ad-
vantage, if it were only in the single Article of the Admission
and Circulation of fresh Air. But it must be allowed there
may have been some Cause to complain of the offensive
Smell of Iron Stoves. This Smell, however, never proceeded
from the Iron itself, which in its Nature, whether hot or
cold, is one of the sweetest of Metals, but from the general
uncleanly Manner of using those Stoves. If they are kept
clean, they are as sweet as an Ironing-Box, which, tho' ever
so hot, never offends the Smell of the nicest Lady ; but it is
common to let them be greased by setting Candlesticks on
them, or otherwise; to rub greasy Hands on them, and,
above all, to spit upon them to try how hot they are, which
is an inconsiderate, filthy unmannerly Custom; for the
slimy Matter of Spittle drying on, burns and fumes when the
Stove is hot, as well as the Grease, and smells most nauseously ;
which makes such close Stove-Rooms, where there is no
Draught to carry off those filthy Vapours, almost intolerable
1744] PENNSYLVANIAN FIRE-PLACES 269
to those that are not from their Infancy accustomed to them.
At the same time, nothing is more easy than to keep them
clean; for when by any Accident they happen to be fouled,
a Lee made of Ashes and Water, with a Brush, will scour
them perfectly; as will also a little strong Soft Soap and
Water.
That hot Iron of itself gives no offensive Smell, those know
very well who have (as the Writer of this has) been present
at a Furnace when the Workmen were pouring out the flow-
ing Metal to cast large Plates, and not the least Smell of it
to be perceived. That hot Iron does not, like Lead, Brass,
and some other Metals, give out unwholesome Vapours, is
plain from the general Health and Strength of those who
constantly work in Iron, as Furnace-men, Forge-men, and
Smiths ; That it is in its Nature a Metal perfectly wholesome
to the Body of Man, is known from the beneficial Use of
Chalybeat or Iron-Mine Waters; from the Good done by
taking Steel Filings in several Disorders; and that even the
Smithy Water, in which hot Irons are quench'd, is found
advantageous to the human Constitution. The ingenious
and learned Dr. Desaguliers, to whose instructive Writings
the Contriver of this Machine acknowledges himself much
indebted, relates an Experiment he made, to try whether
heated Iron would yield unwholesome Vapours. He took a
Cube of Iron, and having given it a very great Heat, he fix'd
it so to a Receiver, exhausted by the Air-Pump, that all the
Air rushing in to fill the Receiver, should first pass thro' a
Hole in the hot Iron. He then put a small Bird into the Re-
ceiver, who breath'd that Air without any Inconvenience,
or suffering the least Disorder. But the same Experiment
being made with a Cube of hot Brass, a Bird put into that
270 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
Air dy'd in a few Minutes. Brass, indeed, stinks even when
cold, and much more when hot ; Lead too, when hot, yields
a very unwholesome Steam; but Iron is always sweet, and
every way taken is wholesome and friendly to the human
Body, except in Weapons.
That warm Rooms make People tender and apt to catch
Cold, is a Mistake as great as it is (among the English)
general. We have seen in the preceding Pages how the com-
mon Rooms are apt to give Colds; but the Writer of this
Paper may affirm, from his own Experience, and that of his
Family and Friends who have used warm Rooms for these
four Winters past, that by the Use of such Rooms, People
are rendered less liable to take Cold, and, indeed, actually
hardened. If sitting warm in a Room made One subject to
take Cold on going out, lying warm in Bed should, by a
Parity of Reason, produce the same Effect when we rise.
Yet we find we can leap out of the wannest Bed naked in
the coldest Morning, without any such Danger; and in the
same Manner out of warm Clothes into a cold Bed. The
Reason is, that in these Cases the Pores all close at once, the
Cold is shut out, and the Heat within augmented, as we soon
after feel by the glowing of the Flesh and Skin. Thus, no
one was ever known to catch Cold by the use of the Cold
Bath : And are not cold Baths allowed to harden the Bodies
of those that use them? Are they not therefore frequently
prescrib'd to the tenderest Constitutions ? Now, every Time
you go out of a warm Room into the cold freezing Air, you
do as it were plunge into a Cold Bath, and the Effect is in
proportion the same; for (tho* perhaps you may feel some-
what chilly at first) you find in a little Time your Bodies
hardened and strengthened, your Blood is driven round with
1744] PENNSYLVANIA^ FIRE-PLACES 271
a brisker Circulation, and a comfortable, steady, uniform
inward Warmth succeeds that equal outward Warmth you
first received in the Room. Farther to confirm this Asser-
tion, we instance the Swedes, the Danes, the Russians; these
Nations are said to live in Rooms, compar'd to ours, as hot
as Ovens ; * yet where are the hardy Soldiers, tho' bred in
their boasted cool Houses, that can, like these People, bear
the Fatigues of a Winter Campaign in so severe a Climate,
march whole Days to the Neck in Snow, and at Night en-
trench in Ice, as they do ?
The Mentioning of those Northern Nations puts me in
Mind of a considerable Publick Advantage that may arise
from the general Use of these Fire-places. It is observable,
that tho' those Countries have been well inhabited for many
Ages, Wood is still their Fuel, and yet at no very great Price ;
which could not have been if they had not universally used
Stoves, but consum'd it as we do in great Quantities, by open
Fires. By the Help of this saving Invention our Wood may
grow as fast as we consume it, and our Posterity may warm
themselves at a moderate Rate, without being oblig'd to
fetch their Fuel over the Atlantick; as, if Pit-Coal should
1 Mr. Boyle, in his Experiments and Observations upon Cold, Ska-mi's Abridg-
ment, Vol. I. p. 684, says, " Tis remarkable, that, while the Cold has strange
and tragical Effects at Moscow and elsewhere, the Russians and Livonians
should be exempt from them, who accustom themselves to pass immediately
from a great Degree of Heat, to as great an one of Cold, without receiving
any visible Prejudice thereby. I remember, being told by a Person of unques-
tionable Credit, that it was a common Practice among them, to go from a hot
Stove into cold Water ; the same was, also, affirmed to me by another who
resided at Moscow. This Tradition is likewise abundantly confirmed by
Olearius" " Tis a surprizing thing," says he, " to see how far the Russians
can endure Heat ; and how, when it makes them ready to faint, they can go
out of their Stoves, stark naked, both Men and Women, and throw them-
selves into cold Water, and even in Winter wallow in the Snow." F.
272 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
not be here discovered (which is an Uncertainty) they must
necessarily do.
We leave it to the Political Arithmetician to compute how
much Money will be sav'd to a Country, by its spending two
thirds less of Fuel ; how much Labour saved in Cutting and
Carriage of it; how much more Land may be clear'd for
Cultivation ; how great the Profit by the additional Quantity
of Work done, in those Trades particularly that do not exer-
cise the Body so much, but that the Workfolks are oblig'd
to run frequently to the Fire to warm themselves: And to
physicians to say, how much healthier thick-built Towns and
Cities will be, now half suffocated with sulphury Smoke,
when so much less of that Smoke shall be made, and the Air
breath'd by the Inhabitants be consequently so much purer.
These Things it will suffice just to have mentioned; let us
proceed to give some necessary Directions to the Workman,
who is to fix or set up these Fire-Places.
Directions to the Bricklayer
The Chimney being first well swept and cleans'd from
Soot, &c., lay the Bottom Plate down on the Hearth, in
the Place where the Fire-Place is to stand, which may be as
forward as the Hearth will allow. Chalk a Line from one
of its back Corners round the Plate to the other Corner, that
you may afterwards know its Place when you come to fix it ;
and from those Corners, two parallel Lines to the Back of
the Chimney : Make Marks also on each Side, that you may
know where the Partition is to stand, which is to prevent any
Communication between the Air and Smoke. Then re-
moving the Plate, make a Hollow under it and beyond it, by
taking up as many of the Bricks or Tiles as you can within
1744] PENNSYLVANIA!* FIRE-PLACES 273
your chalked Lines, quite to the Chimney-Back. Dig out
six or eight Inches deep of the Earth or Rubbish all the
Breadth and Length of your Hollow; then make a Passage
of four Inches square, (if the Place will allow so much) leading
from the Hollow to some Place communicating with the
outer Air; by outer Air we mean Air without the Room you
intend to warm. This Passage may be made to enter your
Hollow on either Side, or in the Fore part, just as you find
most convenient, the Circumstances of your Chimney con-
sidered. If the Fire-Place is to be put up in a Chamber, you
may have this Communication of outer Air from the Stair-
case; or sometimes more easily from between the Chamber
Floor and the Cieling of the lower Room, making only a small
Hole in the Wall of the House entring the Space betwixt
those two Joists with which your Air-Passage in the Hearth
communicates. If this Air-Passage be so situated as that
Mice may enter it and nestle in the Hollow, a little Grate of
Wire will keep them out. This Passage being made, and,
if it runs under any Part of the Hearth, til'd over securely,
you may proceed to raise your false Back. This may be of
four Inches or two Inches Thickness, as you have Room,
but let it stand at least four Inches from the true Chimney-
Back. In narrow Chimnies this false Back runs from Jamb
to Jamb, but in large, old-fashion'd Chimnies you need not
make it wider than the Back of the Fire-place. To begin
it, you may form an Arch nearly flat of three Bricks End to
End, over the Hollow, to leave a Passage the Breadth of the
Iron Fire-Place, and five or six Inches deep, rounding at
Bottom, for the Smoke to turn and pass under the false
Back, and so behind it up the Chimney. The false Back is
to rise till it is as high as the Breast of the Chimney, and then
VOL. II T
274 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
to close over to the Breast ; always observing, if there is a
wooden Mantle-Tree, to close above it. If there is no Wood
in the Breast, you may arch over and close even with the
lower Part of the Breast. By this Closing the Chimney is
made tight, that no Air or Smoke may pass up it, without
going under the false Back. Then from Side to Side of your
Hollow, against the Marks you made with Chalk, raise a
tight Partition, Brick-on-Edge, to separate the Air from the
Smoke, bevelling away to half an Inch the Brick that comes
just under the Air-Hole, that the Air may have a free Pas-
sage up into the Air-Box : Lastly, close the Hearth over that
Part of the Hollow that is between the false Back and the
Place of the Bottom Plate, coming about half an Inch under
the Plate, which Piece of hollow Hearth may be supported
by a Bit or two of old Iron Hoop; then is your chimney
fitted to receive the Fire- Place.
To set it, Lay first a little Bed of Mortar all round the
Edges of the Hollow, and over the Top of the Partition:
Then lay down your Bottom Plate in its Place (with the Rods
in it) and tread it till it lies firm. Then put a little fine Mor-
tar (made of Loam and Lime, with a little Hair,) into its
Joints, and set in your back Plate, leaning it for the present
against the false Back ; then set in your Air-Box, with a little
Mortar in its Joints ; then put in the two Sides, closing them
up against the Air-Box, with Mortar in their Grooves, and
fixing at the same time your Register; then bring up your
Back to its Place, with Mortar in its Grooves, and that will
bind the Sides together. Then put in your Front Plate,
placing it as far back in the Groove as you can, to leave Room
for the sliding Plate; Then lay on your Top Plate, with
Mortar in its Grooves also, screwing the whole firmly together
1744] PENNSYLVAN1AN FIRE-PLACES 275
by means of the Rods. The Capital letters, A, B, D, E, &c.,
in the annex'd cut, show the corresponding Parts of the
several Plates. Lastly, the Joints being pointed all round on
the Outside, the Fire-Place is fit for Use.
When you make your first Fire in it, perhaps, if the Chim-
ney be thoroughly cold, it may not draw, the Work too being
all cold and damp. In such Case, put first a few Shovels
of hot Coals in the Fire-Place, then lift up the Chimney
sweeper's Trap-Door, and putting in a Sheet or two of flaming
Paper, shut it again, which will set the Chimney a Drawing
immediately, and, when once 'tis fill'd with a Column of
warm Air, it will draw strongly and continually.
The Drying of the Mortar and Work by the first Fire may
smell unpleasantly, but that will soon be over.
In some shallow Chimneys, to make more Room for the
false Back and its Flue, Four Inches or more of the Chimney-
Back may be pick'd away.
Let the Room be made as tight as conveniently it may be,
so will the outer Air that must come in to supply the Room
and Draught of the Fire, be all obliged to enter thro' the
Passage under the Bottom-Plate, and up thro' the Air-Box;
by which Means it will not come cold to your Backs, but be
wanned as it comes in, and mixed with the warm Air round
the Fire- Place, before it spreads in the Room.
But as a great Quantity of cold Air, in extream cold
Weather especially, will presently enter a Room if the Door
be carelessly left open, 'tis good to have some Contrivance to
shut it, either by Means of Screw Hinges, a Spring, or a
Pulley.
When the Pointing in the Joints is all dry and hard, get
some Powder of Black-Lead, (broken Bits of Black-Lead
276 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
Crucibles from the Silversmiths, pounded fine, will do) and
mixing it with a little Rum and Water, lay it on, when the
Plates are warm, with a hard Brush, over the Top and Front-
Plates, part of the Side and Bottom-Plates, and over all the
Pointing; and, as it dries, rub it to a Gloss with the same
Brush, so the Joints will not be discern'd, but it will look all
of a Piece, and shine like new Iron. And the false Back
being plaister'd and whitewash'd, and the Hearth redden'd,
the whole will make a pretty Appearance. Before the Black
Lead is laid on, it would not be amiss to wash the Plates
with strong Lee and a Brush, or Soap and Water, to cleanse
them from any Spots of Grease or Filth that may be on them.
If any Grease should afterwards come on them, a little wet
Ashes will get it out.
If it be well set up, and in a tolerable good Chimney,
Smoke will draw in from as far as the Fore Part of the Bottom
Plate, as you may try by a Bit of burning Paper.
People are at first apt to make their Rooms too warm, not
imagining how little a Fire will be sufficient. When the
Plates are no hotter than that one may just bear the Hand on
them, the Room will generally be as warm as you desire it.
44- TO CADWALLADER GOLDEN 1 (L. c.)
SIR New York, April 5. 1744.
Happening to be in this City about some particular Affairs,
I have the Pleasure of receiving yours of the 28th past, here.
And can now acquaint you, that the Society, as far as
1 This letter was first printed in The American Medical and Philosophical
Register for October, 1811, Vol. II. p. 203. The manuscript was obtained by
the editors from the papers of Cadwallader Golden. Accompanying the printed
1744] TO CADWALLADER COLD EN 277
relates to Philadelphia, is actually formed, and has had
several Meetings to mutual Satisfaction; as soon as I get
home, I shall send you a short Ace 1 of what has been done
and propos'd at those Meetings. The Members are
Dr. Thomas Bond, as Physician.
Mr. John Bartram, as Botanist.
Mr. Thomas Godfrey, as Mathematician.
Mr. Saml Rhodes, as Mechanician.
Mr. W m Parsons, as Geographer.
Dr. Phineas Bond, as General Nat. Philosopher.
Mr. Thos. Hopkmson, President.
Mr. W m Coleman, Treasurer.
B. F , Secret'y.
To whom the following Members have since been added,
viz. Mr. Alexander, of New York. Mr. Morris, (Ch. Justice
of the Jerseys.) Mr. Home, Secretary of do. Mr. Jn. Coxe,
of Trenton and Mr. Martyn, of the same Place. Mr.
Nicholls tells me of several other Gentlemen of this City,
that incline to encourage the Thing. And there are a Num-
ber of others, hi Virginia, Maryland, Carolina, and the New
England Colonies, who we expect to join us, as soon as they
are acquainted that the Society has begun to form itself.
I am, Sir, with much Respect,
Your most hum e serv 4 ,
B. FRANKLIN.
letter is a beautiful fac-simile of the original in the handwriting of Franklin.
THE AMERICAN PHILOSOPHICAL SOCIETY, as afterwards instituted, was formed
out of two Societies, of which the above was one. The other was the Society
for promoting and propagating Useful Knowledge. The two Societies were
incorporated into one, called THE AMERICAN PHILOSOPHICAL SOCIETY, in
December, 1768; and in January, 1769, Franklin was elected the first Presi-
dent, although he was at that time in England. ED.
278 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
45. TO WILLIAM STRAHAN (P.C.)
Philadelphia, July 4, 1744.
SIR : I received your favour per Mr. Hall, who arrived
here about two weeks since, and from the short acquaint-
ance I have had with him I am persuaded he will answer
perfectly the character you had given of him. I make no
doubt but his voyage, though it has been expensive, will
prove advantageous to him. I have already made him some
proposals, which he has under consideration, and as we are
like to agree on them, we shall not, I believe, differ on the
article of his passage money.
I am much obliged to you for your care and pains in pro-
curing me the founding tools; though I think, with you,
that the workmen have not been at all bashful in making
their bills. I shall pay a proportion of the insurance, etc.,
to Mr. Read, and send you a bill by the next opportunity.
I thank you for Mr. Dobbs' piece. 1 I wish that public-
spirited gentleman may live to enjoy the satisfaction of hear-
ing that English vessels sail easily through his expected
passage. But though from the idea this piece gives me of
Capt. Middleton I don't much like him, yet I would do him
the justice to read what he has to say for himself, and there-
fore request you to send me what is published on his side
of the question. I have long wanted a friend in London,
whose judgment I would depend on, to send me from time
1 Arthur Dobbs (1689-1765) was interested in the Search for a Northwest
passage to India and China. Christopher Middleton, a captain of the Hud-
son Bay Company, commanded the voyage of discovery. Dobbs accused him
of making false reports of the voyage. The pamphlet referred to above is
entitled " Remarks on Capt. Middleton's Defence, by A. Dobbs " (London :
1744). Middleton's " Rejoinder" appeared the next year.
1744] TO WILLIAM STRAHAN 279
to time such new pamphlets as are worth reading on any
subject (religious controversy excepted), for there is no de-
pending on titles and advertisements. This favour I take the
freedom to beg of you, and shall lodge money in your hands
for that purpose.
We have seldom any news on our side of the globe that can
be entertaining to you or yours. All our affairs are petit.
They have a miniature resemblance only, of the grand things
of Europe. Our governments, parliaments, wars, treaties,
expeditions, fashions, etc., though matters of great and serious
consequence to us, can seem but trifles to you. Four days
since, our naval force received a terrible blow. Fifty sail of
the line destroyed would scarce be a greater loss to Britain
than that to us, and yet 'twas only a 2O-gun-ship sunk,
and about one hundred men drowned, just as she was going
out to sea on a privateering voyage against the king's ene-
mies. She was overset by a flaw of wind, being built too
sharp, and too high-masted. A treaty is now holding at
Newtown, in Lancaster County, a place sixty miles west of
this city, between the governments of Virginia, Maryland
and Pennsylvania on one side, and the united five nations of
Indians on the other. 1 I will send you an account of it when
printed, as the method of doing business with those bar-
barians may perhaps afford you some amusement.
We have already in our library Bolton's and Shaw's
abridgments of Boyle's works. I shall, however, mention
to the directors the edition of his works at large ; 2 possibly
they may think fit to send for it.
1 See Cadwallader Golden, "The History of the Five Indian Nations,"
London, 1747, pp. 89-152. The Treaty was held from June 22 to July 4.
a Richard Boulton, "The Works of Robert Boyle Epitomized," London:
280 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1744
Please to remember me affectionately to my old friend
Mr. Wigate, to whom I shall write per next opportunity.
I am, sir, your obliged humble servant,
B. FRANKLIN.
46. TO WILLIAM STRAHAN
July 31, 1744.
SIR: The above is a copy of my last (via Coke). This
encloses bills for twenty pounds thirteen shillings sterling,
for which when received please to give my account credit,
and send me by the first ship a font of about 300 Ib. wt. of
good new English letter, which I shall want to complete a
little printing-house for our common friend Mr. Hall. I
send you per this ship a box containing 300 copies of a piece
I have lately printed here, 1 and purpose to send you 200
more per next ship. I desire you to take the properest
measures for getting them sold at such a price as they will
readily fetch, and I will take books of you in exchange for
them. This kind of commerce may be advantageous to us
both, and to Mr. Hall; since, if we have a reasonable sale
where we live, for such things as we print, what we do over
and above, and can get disposed of at a foreign market, is
almost so much clear gain. I have only time to add that I
am, with sincere regard, your obliged humble servant,
B. FRANKLIN.
1699. 4 vols. Octavo. Peter Shaw, " The Philosophical Works of Robert
Boyle abridged and methodized." London: 1738. The Library purchased
and still possesses the complete edition of 1744. ED.
1 Logan's " Cato Major." ED.
1744] TO JOSIAH AND ABIAH FRANKLIN 281
47. TO JOSIAH AND ABIAH FRANKLIN 1
Philadelphia, September 6, 1744.
HONOURED FATHER AND MOTHER,
I apprehend I am too busy in prescribing and meddling
in the doctor's sphere, when any of you complain of ails in
your letters. But as I always employ a physician myself,
when any disorder arises in my family, and submit implicitly
to his orders in every thing, so I hope you consider my ad-
vice, when I give any, only as a mark of my good will, and
put no more of it in practice than happens to agree with
what your doctor directs.
Your notion of the use of strong lye I suppose may have
a good deal in it. The salt of tartar, or salt of wormwood,
frequently prescribed for cutting, opening, and cleansing, is
nothing more than the salt of lye procured by evaporation.
Mrs. Stevens's medicine for the stone and gravel, the secret
of which was lately purchased at a great price by the Parlia-
ment, has for its principal ingredient salt, which Boerhaave
calls the most universal remedy. The same salt intimately
mixed with oil of turpentine, which you also mentioned,
make the sapo phUosophorum, wonderfully extolled by some
chemists for like purposes. It is highly probable, as your
doctor says, that medicines are much altered in passing
between the stomach and bladder; but such salts seem well
fitted in their nature to pass with the least alteration of
almost anything we know; and, if they will not dissolve
iFrom "The Works of Benjamin Franklin." Philadelphia: (Duane)
1817, Vol. VI, p. 6. ED.
gravel and stone, yet I am half persuaded that a moderate
use of them may go a great way towards preventing these
disorders, as they assist a weaker digestion in the stomach,
and powerfully dissolve crudities such as those which I have
frequently experienced. As to honey and molasses, I did
not mention them merely as openers and looseners, but also
from conjecture, that, as they are heavier in themselves than
our common drink, they might when dissolved in our bodies
increase the gravity of our fluids, the urine in particular, and
by that means keep separate and suspended therein those
particles, which, when unused, form gravel, &c.
I will inquire after the herb you mention. We have a
botanist here, an intimate friend of mine, who knows all the
plants in the country. 1 He would be glad of the corre-
spondence of some gentlemen of the same taste with you,
and has twice, through my hands, sent specimens of the
famous Chinese ginseng, found here, to persons who desired
it in Boston, neither of whom has had the civility to write
him a word in answer, or even to acknowledge the receipt
of it, of which please to give a hint to brother John.
We have had a very healthy summer and a fine harvest;
the country is filled with bread ; but, as trade declines since
the war began, I know not what our farmers will do for a
market. I am your affectionate and dutiful son,
B. FRANKLIN.
1 John Bai tram. ED.
I74SJ TO JOHN" FRANKLIN, AT BOSTON 283
48. TO JOHN FRANKLIN, AT BOSTON 1
PHILADELPHIA, [Mar. 10,] 1745.
Our people are extremely impatient to hear of your
success at Cape Breton. My shop is filled with thirty in-
quirers at the coming in of every post. Some wonder the
place is not yet taken. I tell them I shall be glad to hear
that news three months hence. Fortified towns are hard
nuts to crack; and your teeth have not been accustomed
to it. Taking strong places is a particular trade, which you
have taken up without serving an apprenticeship to it.
Armies and veterans need skilful engineers to direct them
in their attack. Have you any? But some seem to think
forts are as easy taken as snuff. Father Moody's prayers
look tolerably modest. You have a fast and prayer day for
that purpose; in which I compute five hundred thousand
petitions were offered up to the same effect in New England,
which added to the petitions of every family morning and
evening, multiplied by the number of days since January
25th, make forty-five millions of prayers ; which, set against
the prayers of a few priests in the garrison, to the Virgin
Mary, give a vast balance hi your favour.
If you do not succeed, I fear I shall have but an indif-
ferent opinion of Presbyterian prayers in such cases, as long
as I live. Indeed, in attacking strong towns I should have
more dependence on works, than on faith; for, like the king-
1 This letter is undated, but from Franklin's ecclesiastical mathematics it
would appear to have been written on the tenth of March. His calculation
of 500,000 inhabitants of New England is perhaps 100,000 in excess of the
actual population. The news of the fall of Louisburg came at about the time
that Franklin predicted. ED.
2 8 4 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1745
dom of heaven, they are to be taken by force and violence ;
and in a French garrison I suppose there are devils of that
kind, that they are not to be cast out by prayers and fasting,
unless it be by their own fasting for want of provisions. I
believe there is Scripture in what I have wrote, but I cannot
adorn the margin with quotations, having a bad memory,
and no Concordance at hand ; besides no more time than to
subscribe myself, &c.
B. FRANKLIN.
49. TO CADWALLADER GOLDEN
PHILADELPHIA, August 15, 1745.
SIR,
I received your favour of the 2oth past, with your medical
piece enclosed, the reading of which gave me a great deal of
pleasure. I showed it to our friend Mr. Bartram, who
carried it home, and, as he since tells me, is taking a copy
of it. His keeping of it for that end has prevented my show-
ing it to any other gentleman as you desired, and hitherto
prevented my writing to you upon it, as I intended. But,
lest you should conclude me the very worst correspondent
in the world, I shall delay no longer giving you some thoughts,
that occurred to me in reading of it, choosing rather to be
blamed for not writing to the purpose, than for not writing
at all.
I am extremely pleased with your doctrine of the absorbent
vessels intermixed with the perspiratory ducts, both on the
external and internal superficies of the body. After I had
read Sanctorius, I imagined a constant stream of the per-
spirable matter issuing at every pore in the skin. But then I
1745] TO CADWALLADER COLD EN 285
was puzzled to account for the effects of mercurial unctions
for the strangury, sometimes occasioned by an outward appli-
cation of the flies, and the like; since whatever virtue or
quality might be in a medicine laid upon the skin, if it
would enter the body, it must go against wind and tide, as
one may say. Dr. Hales helped me a little, when he informed
me, in his Vegetable Statics, 1 that the body is not always in a
perspirable, but sometimes in an imbibing state, as he ex-
presses it, and will at times actually grow heavier by being
exposed to moist air. But this did not quite remove my
difficulty; since, as these fits of imbibing did not appear to
be regular or frequent, a blistering plaster might lie on the
body a week, or a mercurial unguent be used a month, to no
purpose, if the body should so long continue in a perspirable
state. Your doctrine, which was quite new to me, makes all
easy; since the body may perspire and absorb at the same
time, through the different ducts destined to those different
ends.
I must own, however, that I have one objection to the ex-
planation you give of the operation of these absorbents.
That they should communicate with the veins, and the per-
spirants with the arteries only, seems natural enough; but,
as all fluids by the hydrostatical law pass equally in all direc-
tions, I question whether the mere direction of one of those
minute vessels, where it joins with a vein or artery, with or
against the stream of blood in the larger vessel, would be
sufficient to produce such contrary effects as perspiring and
absorbing. If it would, both perspirants and absorbents
might proceed from the arteries only, or from the veins only,
1 Stephen Hales (1677-1761), "Vegetable Staticks, or an Account of some
Statical Experiments on the Sap in Vegetables." London : 1 727. ED.
286 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1745
\\
// \>y
or from both indifferently; as, by the figure in the margin,
whether the vessel a b is an artery or a vein, if the stream
^ moves from a to b, the minute
communicating vessel c shall
be a perspirant, and d an ab-
a - " - ' sorbent; and the contrary, if
it moves from b to a. Yet I cannot say I am certain the
mere direction of the vessel will have no effect ; I only sus-
pect it, and am making a little machine to try an experi-
ment with for satisfaction.
It is a siphon made of two large joints of Carolina cane
united at e, into which
two small glass tubes,
/ and g, are to be in-
serted, one on the de-
v scending, and the other
"Os. on the ascending side.
I propose to fill the
siphon and the two glass tubes with water, and, when it is
playing, unstop at the same instant the tops of both glass
tubes, observing in which the water sinks fastest. You shall
know the success. I conceive the pressure of the atmosphere
on the apertures of the two glass tubes to be no way different
from the pressure of the same on the mouths of the per-
spirants and absorbents, and if the water sinks equally in the
two tubes, notwithstanding the direction of one against and
the other with the stream, I shall be ready to think we must
look out for another solution. You will say, perhaps, that
it will then be time enough when the experiment is tried, and
succeeds as I suspect; yet I cannot forbear attempting at
one beforehand, while some thoughts are present in my mind.
1745] TO CADWALLADER COLD EN 287
If a new solution should be found necessary, this may be
ready for consideration.
I do not remember, that any anatomist, that has fallen in
my way, has assigned any other cause of the motion of the
blood through its whole circle, than the contractile force of
the heart, by which that fluid is driven with violence into the
arteries, and so continually propelled by repetitions of the
same force, till it arrives at the heart again. May we for
our present purpose suppose another cause producing half
the effect, and say that the ventricles of the heart, like
syringes, draw when they dilate, as well as force when they
contract ? That this is not unlikely, may be judged from the
valves nature has placed in the arteries, to prevent the draw-
ing back of the blood in those vessels when the heart dilates,
while no such obstacles prevent its sucking (to use the vulgar
expression) from the veins. If this be allowed, and the
insertion of the absorbents into the veins and of the per-
spirants into the arteries be agreed to, it will be of no impor-
tance hi what direction they are inserted. For, as the
branches of the arteries are continually lessening in their
diameters, and the motion of the blood decreasing by means
of the increased resistance, there must, as more is constantly
pressed on behind, arise a kind of crowding in the extremities
of those vessels, which will naturally force out what is con-
tained in the perspirants that communicate with them. This
lessens the quantity of blood, so that the heart cannot receive
again by the veins all it had discharged into the arteries,
which occasions it to draw strongly upon the absorbents, that
communicate with them. And thus the body is continually
perspiring and imbibing. Hence after long fasting the body
is more liable to receive infection from bad air, and food,
2 88 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1745
before it is sufficiently chylified, is drawn crude into the blood
by the absorbents that open into the bowels.
To confirm this position, that the heart draws, as well as
drives the blood, let me add this particular. If you sit or
lean long, in such a manner as to compress the principal
artery that supplies a limb with blood, so that it does not
furnish a due quantity, you will be sensible of a pricking pain
in the extremities like that of a thousand needles; and the
veins, which used to raise your skin in ridges, will be (with
the skin) sunk into channels ; the blood being drawn out of
them, and their sides pressed so closely together that it is
with difficulty and slowly that the blood afterwards enters
them, when the compressed artery is relieved. If the blood
was not drawn by the heart, the compression of an artery
would not empty a vein, and I conjecture that the pricking
pain is occasioned by the sides of the small vessels being
pressed together.
I am not without apprehension, that this hypothesis is
either not new, or, if it is new, not good for any thing. It
may, however, in this letter, with the enclosed paper on a
kindred subject, serve to show the great confidence I place
in your candor, since to you I so freely hazard myself (ultra
crepidam) in meddling with matters directly pertaining to
your profession, and entirely out of the way of my own. If
you give yourself the trouble of reading them, it is all I can
modestly expect. Your silence about them afterwards will
be sufficient to convince me, that I am in the wrong, and
that I ought to study the sciences I dabble in, before I pre-
sume to set pen to paper. I will endeavour, however, to
make you some amends by procuring you from better judges
some better remarks on the rest of your piece, and shall
1745] TO JAMES READ 289
observe your caution not to let them know from whom I
had it.
The piece on Fluxions I purpose shortly to read again,
and that on the several species of matter, when you shall
have what little I shall be able to say about them.
The members of our Society here are very idle gentlemen.
They will take no pains. I must, I believe, alter the scheme
and proceed with the papers I have, and may receive, in the
manner you advise in one of your former letters. The men-
tion of your former letters puts me hi mind how much I am
in arrear with you. Like some honest insolvent debtors, I
must resolve to pay ready money for what I have hereafter,
and discharge the old debt by little and little as I am able.
The impertinence of these mosquitos to me (now I am in
the humour of writing) prevents a great deal of mine to you,
so that, for once, they are of some use in the world. I am,
Sir,
Your most humble servant,
B. FRANKLIN.
50. TO JAMES READ 1
SATURDAY MORNING, August 17, 1745.
DEAR JEMMY;
I have been reading your letter over again, and, since you
desire an answer, I sit down to write you one ; yet, as I write
in the market, it will, I believe, be but a short one, though
I may be long about it. I approve of your method of writing
one's mind, when one is too warm to speak it with temper ;
but, being quite cool myself in this affair, I might as well
speak as write, if I had an opportunity.
1 A relative of Mrs. Deborah Franklin. ED.
VOL. II U
290 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1745
Are you an attorney by profession, and do you know no
better how to choose a proper court in which to bring your
action? Would you submit to the decision of a husband,
a cause between you and his wife? Don't you know that
all wives are in the right ? It may be you don't, for you are
yet but a young husband. But see, on this head, the learned
Coke, that oracle of the law, in his chapter De Jur. Marit.
Angl. I advise you not to bring it to trial; for, if you do,
you will certainly be cast.
Frequent interruptions make it impossible for me to go
through all your letter. I have only time to remind you of
the saying of that excellent old philosopher, Socrates, that,
in differences among friends, they that make the first conces-
sions are the wisest; and to hint to you, that you are in danger
of losing that honour in the present case, if you are not very
speedy in your acknowledgments, which I persuade myself
you will be, when you consider the sex of your adversary.
Your visits never had but one thing disagreeable in them,
that is, they were always too short. I shall exceedingly re-
gret the loss of them, unless you continue, as you have begun,
to make it up to me by long letters.
I am, dear Jemmy, with sincere love to our dearest Suky,
your very affectionate friend and cousin,
B. FRANKLIN.
51. TO CADWALLADER GOLDEN
PHILADELPHIA, November 28, 1745.
SIR,
I shall be very willing and ready, when you think proper
to publish your piece on gravitation, 1 to print it at my own
1 " Cause of Gravitation," New York, 1745. ED.
1745] TO CADWALLADER GOLDEN- 291
expense and risk. If I can be the means of communicating
any thing valuable to the world, I do not always think of
gaining, nor even of saving, by my business ; but a piece of
that kind, as it must excite the curiosity of all the learned,
can hardly fail of bearing its own expense.
I must not pretend to dispute with you on any part of the
animal economy. You are quite too strong for me. I shall
just mention two or three little things, that I am not quite
clear in.
If there is no contrivance in the frame of the auricles or
ventricles of the heart, by which they dilate themselves, I
cannot conceive how they are dilated. It is said, by the
force of the venal blood rushing into them. But if that blood
has no force which was not first given to it by the contraction
of the heart, how can it (diminished as it must be by the re-
sisting friction of the vessels it has passed through) be strong
enough to overcome that contraction? Your doctrine of
fermentation in the capillaries helps me a little; for if the
returning blood be rarefied by the fermentation, its motion
must be increased ; but, as it seems to me that it must by its
expansion resist the arterial blood behind it, as much as it
accelerates the venal blood before it, I am still somewhat
unsatisfied. I have heard or read somewhere, too, that the
hearts of some animals continue to contract and dilate, or to
beat, as it is commonly expressed, after they are separated
from the other vessels, and taken out of the body. If this be
true, their dilation is not caused by the force of the returning
blood.
I should be glad to satisfy myself, too, whether the blood
is always quicker in motion, when the pulse beats quicker.
Perhaps more blood is driven forward by one strong, deep
292 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1745
stroke, than by two that are weak and light ; as a man may
breathe more air by one long common respiration, when in
health, than by two quick, short ones in a fever. I applied
the siphon I mentioned to you in a former letter to the pipe
of a water-engine. E is the engine ; a, its pipe ; b b b, the
siphon ; c and d, the two glass pipes communicating with the
siphon. Upon working the engine, the water flowed through
the siphon, and the glass tube c\ but none was discharged
through d. When I stopped with my finger the end of the
siphon, the water issued at both glass tubes, with equal force,
and on only half stopping the end of the siphon, it did the
same. I imagine the sudden bending of the siphon gives
such a resistance to the stream, as to occasion its issuing out
of the glass tube c. But I intend to try a farther experiment,
of which I shall give you an account.
I am now determined to publish an American Philosophical
Miscellany, monthly or quarterly. I shall begin with next
January, and proceed as I find encouragement and assistance.
As I purpose to take the compiling wholly upon myself, the
reputation of no gentleman or society will be affected by
1745] TO CADWALLADER GOLDEN 293
what I insert of another's ; and that perhaps will make them
more free to communicate. Their names shall be published
or concealed, as they think proper, and care taken to do exact
justice to matters of invention, &c. I shall be glad of your
advice in any particulars that occurred to you in thinking of
this scheme ; for, as you first proposed it to me, I doubt not
but you have well considered it. 1
I have not the original of Dr. Mitchell's tract on the Yellow
Fever. 2 Mine is a copy I had taken, with his leave, when
here. Mr. Evans will make a copy of it for you.
I hope it will be confirmed by future experiment, that the
yaws are to be cured by tar-water. The case you relate to
Dr. Mitchell gives great hopes of it, and should be published,
to induce people to make trials. For, though it should not
always succeed, I suppose there is no danger of its doing any
harm.
As to your pieces on Fluxions and the different species of
matter, it is not owing to reservedness that I have not yet sent
you my thoughts; but because I cannot please myself with
them, having had no leisure yet to digest them. If I was
clear, that you are anywhere mistaken, I would tell you so,
and give my reasons with all freedom, as believing nothing I
1 It does not appear that this scheme was ever carried into execution. S.
2 Dr. John Mitchell, a physician and botanist, of unknown origin, settled
early in the eighteenth century at Urbanna on the Rappahannock. Peter
Collinson read before the Royal Society, his " Essay upon the Causes of the
different Colours of People in different Climates." He left his " Essay upon
the Yellow Fever," in manuscript. Benjamin Rush read it and derived from
it new views of the nature of that malady when it appeared in Philadelphia in
1793. Rush desired it to be printed in The American Medical and Philo-
sophical Register, and it appeared there in October, 1813 (Vol. IV. p. 181).
Rush obtained the manuscript from Franklin who had it from Dr. Mitchell.
See Miller's " Retrospect," Vol. I. p. 318. ED.
294 THE WRITINGS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN [1745
could do would be more obliging to you. I am persuaded
you think, as I do, that he who removes a prejudice, or an
error, from our minds, contributes to their beauty, as he
would do to that of our faces, who should clear them of a wart
or a wen.
I have a friend gone to New York with a view of settling
there, if he can meet with encouragement. It is Dr. John
Bard, 1 whom I esteem an ingenious physician and surgeon,
and a discreet, worthy, and honest man. If, upon con-
versation with him, you find this character just, I doubt not
but you will afford him your advice and countenance, which
will be of great service to him in a place where he is entirely
a stranger, and very much oblige, Sir,
Your most humble servant,
B. FRANKLIN.
P. S. I shall forward your letter to Dr. Mitchell. Thank
you for leaving it open for my perusal.
52. PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD, 1746
Who is Poor Richard? People oft enquire,
Where lives ? What is he ? never yet the nigher.
Somewhat to ease your Curiositee,
Take these slight Sketches of my Dame and me.
Thanks to kind Readers and a careful Wife,
With plenty bless'd, I lead an easy Life;
My business Writing; less to drain the Mead,
r. John Bard (1716-1799), first president of The New York Medical
Society. This introduction was the origin of a long and intimate friendship
between Dr. Bard and Mr. Colden. ED.
1745] PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD 295
Or crown the barren Hill with useful Shade ;
In the smooth Glebe to see the Plowshare worn,
And fill the Granary with needful Corn.
Press nectareous Cyder from my loaded Trees,
Print the sweet Butter, turn the Drying Cheese.
Some Books we read, tho' few there are that hit
The happy Point where Wisdom joins with Wit ;
That set fair Virtue naked to our View,
And teach us what is decent, 
