The young lady across the way

•FROM -THE- LIBRARY- OF-
A. W. Ryder

pHE contents of fliis volume appeared

originally in flie Ohio State Journal

and are repuhlished in fliis form nirough flie

courtesy of The Ohio State Journal Co.

THE YOUNG LADY
ACROSS THE WAY

As Interviewed by

ROBERT 0. RYDER

«

And Sketched by

HARRY J. WESTERMAN

COPYRIGHT, 1908,

BY
ROBERT O. RYDER

- *f

The young lady across the way says
she thinks her father must have some
awfully nice friends, she hears him
speak so often about having another
call from his bankers.

We asked the young lady across the
way if she had heard about the disap-
pearance of Saturn's rings and sne
said no, she hadn't happened to hear
about this particular case, but she
knew such things were altogether too
common these days and to her mind
the very worst feature was that the
police seemed to be in collusion with
the burglars and it was almost im-
possible to get anything back.

m

The young lady across the way says
she knows her father doesn't owe any
money around town because she over-
heard him say that he hadn't a dollar's
worth of credit left anywhere.

19J

We asked the young lady across the
way for her opinion as to the relative
values of the nitrogenous and the car-
bonaceous foods and she said she
really didn't know, always buying
things as she did by the dime's worth
and not noticing particularly how
much she got for her money.

[11]

The young lady across the way says
she guesses her father must hate to
write letters, she hears him speak so
often about some of his notes' being
overdue.

We asked the young lady across the
way if she thought clandestine mar-
riages were excusable under any cir-
cumstances, and she said well she
didn't like to judge anybody harshly
but it did seem to her, to say the very
least, as if a girl made a great mistake
to go and get married to some old
duke or count or something when
American young men were so much
nicer.

1151

The young lady across the way says
she overheard her father say that he
had taken in a lot of bad paper lately
and she thinks it's just terrible the
way these great trusts are allowed to
palm off inferior goods on innocent
people.

[171

We asked the young lady across the
way if she were doing anything in
economics out at the university and
she said O yes indeed and in fact,
with times as they were, the whole
family was trying to keep expenses
down and they'd let the second girl go
already and were thinking about giv-
ing the cook notice.

[19]

The young lady across the way says
she saw in the paper that a gentleman
had just paid $65,000 for a seat on the
New York stock exchange and wasn't
it terrible how extravagant people
were in New York but of course she
supposed it meant a box for the season.

[21]

The young lady across the way says
she doesn't see why any one should
go and get excited about a gold famine
when everybody knows that you're
likely to get five-dollar gold pieces
mixed up with nickels and bills are so
much more convenient anyway.

123]

The young lady across the way says
she saw in the paper that our minister
to Austria got a salary of $17,500 a
year and with all the wickedness there
was in this country and so few clergy-
men with ability enough to earn that
amount she didn't know whether she
believed in foreign missions any more
or not.

[25]

The young lady across the way in-
formed us that she loved poetry, and
we asked her what she thought of dac-
tylic hexameter as a vehicle and she
said the electric runabout was good
enough for her.

127]

The young lady across the way says
she knows her father never invests in
watered stocks because she overheard
him say that, with all the securities
he had on hand, he didn't have any-
thing bearing the slightest resem-
blance to liquid assets.

29]

Thinking to stimulate her interest
in the great questions of the day, we
asked the young lady across the way
how she thought the new currency
ought to be secured and she said for
her part she generally pinned it in
the front of her dress with a big safety
pin.

[31]

The young lady across the way says
she overheard her father say that all
the financial trouble was caused by peo-
ple putting too much money into their
stockings and for her part she didn't
think there was any excuse for such
extravagance when you can get as
good ones as anybody ought to want
for two dollars and thirty-seven cents
a pair at any of the department stores.

We asked the young lady across the
way what they were going to have for
the piece de resistance at Christmas
dinner over at her house, and she said
O she guessed they wouldn't have
anything so elaborate as all that but
just turkey and plum pudding and the
usual fixings.

IS5J

The young lady across the way says
she overheard her father say he
wished the comptroller of the currency
wouldn't call so often and for her part
she thought it was awfully nice of him
to pay some attention socially to his
business acquaintances.

71

The young lady across the way hap-
pened to hear us speak favorably of
garbage reduction and she said O
yes that was all right theoretically
and some reform was certainly needed
in that direction but what were we
going to do about it when people
would leave so much on their plates.

[39J

We asked the young lady across the
way what she thought of the influence
of women's clubs upon the home, and
she said well she was only a beginner
herself but she must say her mother
had brought home two or three prizes
that looked lovely on the parlor man-
tel-piece.

[41]

The young lady across the way says
she can't understand why her father
talks so much about being hard up
when she saw his check book herself
and noticed there were at least a hun-
dred checks in it without any writing
at all on them.

143]

The young lady across the way says
she had heard about paper car wheels
but she guessed there must be a limit
somewhere to what the inventors
could do because she overheard her
father say he was sorry he had bought
an interest in a paper railroad.

f45]

The young lady across the way says
she noticed in the paper that the con-
sumption of beer was on the increase
and wasn't it terrible how people
would continue to drink things that
brought on such awful diseases as
that.

147

The young lady across the way says
she overheard her father say he was
worried to death about the condition
of his books and she guessed she'd
give him a set of James Whitcomb
Riley's works for Christmas.

1491

The young lady across the way in-
formed us that they were taking their
meals at the hotel now and we asked
her if she found the cuisine satisfac-
tory, and she said well she hadn't
been there long enough to make up
her mind about that but she would
say for them that they set an awfully
good table.

[51]

The young lady across the way says
she overheard her father say that he
wouldn't be satisfied until he had
given the man higher up what he de-
served and for her part she thought
it was awfully nice of gentlemen in the
same office building to remember one
another on Christmas.

[53]

The youngr lady across the way says
she overheard her father say that
Christmas had taken what was left of
his credit and for her part she thought
it was better to pay for things as you
got them anyway and you soon got
used to waiting for your change.

[55J

The young lady across the way says
she overheard her father say that the
market was in terrible condition and it
did seem to her as if the city ought to
provide more receptacles for the old
decayed apples and cabbages and
things.

[57]

The young lady across the way says
she saw in the paper that scientific
oyster culture was proving very suc-
cessful and wasn't it wonderful how
with intelligent training even the stu-
pidest animals could be educated and
only the other day she saw some
trained birds that could count up to
ten at the theater.

159]

The young lady across the way says
she overheard her father say that the
treating habit was responsible for a
great deal of foolish extravagance and
for her part she didn't see how it made
any difference when she paid for
Edytha's chocolate dope one day and
Edytha paid for her woodland glace
the next.

The young lady across the way says
she overheard her father say that col-
lections were very bad and for her
part she thought it was just a shame
how well-to-do people gave so little
to the support of the church.

163]

J>

Resuming our discussion of the
hotel cuisine, we asked the young lady
across the way if she liked potatoes
au naturel and she said no she didn't
care much for fancy cooking and be-
lieved she liked them just boiled with
the skins on better than any other
way.

[65]

The young lady across the way says
she overheard her father say that he
was going to hold on to his stocks
just as long as he possibly could,
though he was sure he didn't know
how much longer that would be, and
for her part she didn't see why he
wanted the old things when the prices
had gone down so.

[671

Reverting to world politics, we hap-
pened to observe to the young lady
across the way that our foreign rela-
tions worried us somewhat and she
said for her part no member of her
family had ever married any duke or
count or anything like that but she
knew she'd be worried too if they had.

[69J

The young lady across the way says
the stores all give such wonderful bar-
gains right after Christmas that she
should think all the people in the
country would agree to give their
Christmas presents along about New
Year's so as to get them cheaper.

[71]

The young lady across the way says
she overheard her father say he felt
pretty sure now that his bank wouldn't
close its doors this winter and for her
part she didn't wonder that there was
so much grip around and people ought
not to be so careless even if it had
been an unusually warm season.

[73]

The young lady across the way says
she overheard her father say that he
looked for a revival on the stock ex-
change after the first of the year and
from some things she'd heard she
guessed it was needed pretty badly
and she did hope they'd stay con-
verted.

[75]

The young lady across the way says
she overheard her father say that the
cost of white paper was unreasonably
high and for her part she didn't see
how that made any difference when
pale blue and Quaker gray were so
much more stylish anyway.

L77]

The young lady across the way says
she can't see why her father com-
plains so much about the cost of liv-
ing when she went down to the Janu-
ary sales and bought a ninety-dollar
party gown for $69.50 and a fifteen-
dollar Fluffy Ruffles scarf for $9.98.

[79]

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The young lady across the way says
she overheard her father say that any
change in tin plate prices at this time
would cause distress among thou-
sands of people and for her part she
never knew before that there were so
many people who couldn't afford china
and wasn't it true that half the world
didn't know how the other half lived.

[81]

The young lady across the way says
she saw in the paper that social condi-
tions were responsible for most of the
crimes in this country and it did seem
to her as if we ought to be more care-
ful about who got into society.

[83]

The young lady across the way says
her father asked her not to spend any
more money than necessary just at
this time and for her part she didn't
find it hard at all to save nearly all
her allowance when the dry goods
stores were all so nice about letting
her charge things.

185J

We asked the young lady across the
way if she had read the president's
message yet and she said no her father
got so many telegrams that she had
lost interest in them and didn't even
try to see if she could make out
whether they came from anyone she
knew by the writing on the envelopes
any longer.

87|

The young lady across the way in-
formed us that she was taking a course
in psychology out at the university
and we asked her what she thought ot
auto-suggestion, and she said O,
with her father talking so much about
being hard pressed for ready money,
she wouldn't dare suggest even a little
electric not to mention a red touring-
car which she'd much rather have.

[89]

The young lady across the way says
she overheard her father say that his
bankers kept advising him to reduce
his loans and for her part she thought
it was awfully nice of gentlemen who
understood all about such things to
go to the trouble of giving advice to
their business acquaintances.

(91)

We asked the young lady across the
way if she thought the hard times
were about over and she said she
guessed so because she overheard her
father say that his biggest loans
matured next week.

1931

We asked the young lady across the
way for her opinion as to the economic
value of the automobile, and she said
for her part she couldn't see where
the economy came in when even peo-
ple who didn't own them had to have
automobile coats and automobile veils
and all those things and with every-
thing costing so much too.

(951

The young lady across the way says
she overheard her father say that all
the men in the financial district wished
President Roosevelt would run again
so they could pay him back for all
he'd done for them and wasn't it re-
markable how the president held his
wonderful popularity among all classes
of people.

i

The young lady across the way says
she overheard her father say that the
locks on the Panama canal were going
to cost ever so much more than the
original estimates and why didn't they
use the ones they'd planned to and
just put on a few extra bolts.

[99]

The young lady across the way says
her father may speculate a little but
she knows he doesn't go in very deep
because she overheard him say that he
was short of almost every stock on
the market.

(ion

We asked the young lady across the
way what she thought of the omission
of the motto from the new coins, and
she said well for her part she didn't
see that it made any great difference
when nine out of ten people never
stopped to think about the religious
significance of E Pluribus Unum
anyway.

The young lady across the way says
she overheard her father say that he
called on his brokers yesterday and
found them embarrassed and wasn't
it strange how gentlemen who made
such a success in business were often
so timid socially.

11051

De gustibus non disputandum est,
observed we to the young lady across
the way, and she said yes indeed we
did and for her part, after more mature
consideration, she did think it was a
shame to leave it off the new gold
coins.

U07)

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