WEBVTT

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The Dennis O'Keeffe Show, starring Dennis O'Keeffe.

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In all around town.

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Also starring Hope Emerson, Ricky Kelman, Eloise Hart, Eddie Ryder.

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Brought to you by Oldsmobile.

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In behalf of your local authorized Oldsmobile quality dealer.

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This arithmetic homework shouldn't take too long, Irving.

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Statistics show that if the American child spent as much time studying nutrition as he

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did arithmetic, we'd be a much healthier nation.

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Okay, Irving.

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We'll work by the cookie jar and it'll solve both problems.

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Wow, did you see those dimples?

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If you're out of cookies, I'll settle for some devil's food cake.

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Irving, how can you think of devil's food cake when a little angel just walked by?

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Can I hope it if my appetite's maturing faster than the rest of me?

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Hello, Sarge.

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Well, well, well.

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Mr. Gallop and Mr. Town.

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How's my favorite cookie baker?

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Flattery will get your sweet tooth nowhere.

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What's the matter with him?

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He saw a girl.

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Oh, congratulations, Bo Brummel.

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She was a blonde with big blue eyes and dimples that just wouldn't quit.

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What's that about a blonde with big blue eyes?

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Mr. Town, she was only nine.

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Nine?

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Oh, I guess that's a little young for me, huh?

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Perhaps now, but in 20 years, she'll be 29 and you'll be 65.

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62?

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And statistics prove that when a man of 62 looks at a woman of 29, he doesn't say, too

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young for me.

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Thank you, Mr. Gallop.

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Well, I'm going out to the club to take a steam, Sarge.

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I'll be back before dinner.

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All right, Henry.

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Yoo-hoo, wait for me.

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Oh, thank you.

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Oh, it's my pleasure.

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I always like to travel with a lovely lady.

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Oh.

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She must have just moved in.

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Hey, Sarge, do you know anything about that new little girl?

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Not much.

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She's staying with her grandmother.

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I don't know the little girl's name, but her grandmother's name is Loretta Kimball.

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She's a widow and she sees a lot of a man named Sylvester.

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She's just taking care of the little girl while her parents are traveling in the Orient.

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But why ask me?

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I'm not Snoopy.

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I sure wish I knew her name.

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Should be Dimples.

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Did you notice them?

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I don't go for Dimples.

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My sister's got them and I can't stand her.

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How can I meet her?

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A survey taken at a marriage license bureau proved that 32 and a half out of every hundred

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couples met by one of them writing a note.

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Yeah, a note.

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Don't use notebook paper.

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If you want to make an impression, use good stationery and type it.

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Type it?

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It's the little touches that score the big point.

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Oh, yeah.

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What do I say?

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Here, let me write it for you.

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I read it once that a guy said to my sister, he started, dear cuddles, dear stinker would

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have been better.

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Dear Dimples, from the moment I saw you this afternoon.

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Here it is.

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Kimber.

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Oh, good.

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Hope she picks it up today.

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Well, come on.

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Let's get back to our homework.

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I feel a little weak.

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Think there are any cookies left?

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Oh, what a thing.

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Guess that's all.

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Isn't that your mailbox?

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Yes, it is.

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Who is he?

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Oh, just a young man that lives down the hall.

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Well, let him stay there.

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Why, it's no best if you're jealous.

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Oh, no, I'm not.

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What does he say?

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Loretta, you're blushing.

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Indeed, I'm not.

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Well, I've been going with you for over ten years and I never made you blush.

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Now, what's in that note?

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Really, Sylvester, you're acting like a child.

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Yes, and you're acting like a schoolgirl.

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Well, if that's the way you feel about it, you don't have to see me upstairs.

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Susan, how old would you say your grandmother looked?

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Well, my friends can't believe you're my grandmother.

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Oh, bless your friends.

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And to think you only saw me for a moment at the elevator this afternoon.

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I never thought, oh, the great Hal Town, such a famous man.

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Grandma, you're blushing.

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Dear, listen to this.

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Dear Dimples, and the girls thought I ought to have my face lifted.

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And the moment I saw you this afternoon, I flipped.

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Flipped, what does that mean?

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You went into orbit.

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Break it down for my generation.

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Well, uh, he went gaga over you.

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Really?

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Well, that's as close as I can get to your generation.

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And I thought my gaga days were a thing of the past.

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If you feel the same way about me, let me know and I'll take it from there.

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You're Secret and Mar and 12A.

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How romantic.

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Are you going to answer it?

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Uh, Susan, when you reach autumn, you'll think rather fondly of spring.

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Let's see.

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Dear Mr. Town.

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No, if he's going to be intriguing, so can I.

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Dear Secret and Mar.

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When I saw you, I not only flipped, I went into orbit.

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Now please take it from there.

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Signed Dimples.

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Dimples?

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You will don't look at me. I don't know any dimples.

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I used to know a cuddles, but she couldn't write.

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Well, anyone who would write a silly note like that isn't worth bothering about.

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Yeah, it's a rib.

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That's all there is. Somebody's ribbing me.

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Well, I'm not going to fall for it.

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Hi, Dad.

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Eww. Oh, hi, Randy.

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Why doesn't she answer my note?

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She's had it a whole day.

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Maybe you're just not her type.

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Statistics prove the blondes hardly ever go for blondes.

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My hair's light brown.

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You're a borderline case.

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Oh, it's a rib.

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It's just got to...

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Still, uh...

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You'd think she'd answer my notes just out of curiosity.

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A survey I took last Christmas in the fifth grade

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proved that 46 out of 47 girls would rather have gifts than notes.

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No kidding?

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The 47th won't want her money.

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Do you think I ought to send her some perfume?

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Might be a smart investment.

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I'll have to tap Dad for an advance.

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No, it's a gag. That's all. It's just a gag.

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Still on the other hand.

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Might be that ballerina that I interviewed last week.

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She had lovely... Oh, hi, son.

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Dad, may I have an advance on next month's allowance?

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Well, considering that I'm holding your birth certificate as security,

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I guess you can. How much do you want?

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Three dollars out of swing it.

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Three dollars?

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Well, for that amount, maybe I ought to ask what it's for.

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Well, it's a present for a girl.

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Present for...

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Well, I guess that qualifies as a worthwhile cause.

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There you are, Renny.

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Thanks, Dad.

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Girls sure can be problems.

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Problems? Oh, you're telling me.

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Listen, I got a problem with one right now that I don't even know.

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You see, what she did was...

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I'd like to discuss your problem with you, Dad,

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but I've got to solve mine first.

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Come on, Irving.

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A rib. Nothing but a rib.

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You know, you never can be sure about these things.

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Do you mean to tell me that you're not the least bit curious

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about who this mysterious bomb fatale is?

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Oh, of course not. Why should I be?

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Because you're a normal, red-blooded, egotistical male, that's why.

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Oh, I'd better do less chatting and more chewing.

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I've got a publicity layout to go over in 20 minutes.

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Well, that's what you get for being a money-mad press agent.

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You know, I'd sure like to know who this Dimples is.

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I don't mind competition, but I hate sneaky competition.

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Would you mind dropping the subject, Karen? I find it very boring.

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Of course you do.

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All for you, Mr. Towne.

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Oh, thank you.

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Hello, Hal Towne.

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This is Dimples.

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Dimples? Well, where are you?

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Right here in the restaurant.

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Here you are. Where?

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Just a few feet away.

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I'd come over, but I'm afraid that young lady with you might object.

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Oh, excuse me just a moment, would you please?

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I don't want to rush you, but didn't you say you had...

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I know you hate to see me leave, but I am late for my appointment.

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Don't get too bored.

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Give my love to Dimples.

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Well, Dimples, where are you? Where are you hiding?

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I haven't got the nerve to tell you.

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You haven't got the nerve to tell me?

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Are you the shy type, huh?

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Oh, I am? Am I?

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Well, don't you think we ought to stop this foolishness and say maybe have dinner together tonight?

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Oh, I'd love to.

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You would?

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I guess.

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Well, supposing I pick you up then tonight, say around eight.

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Oh, you better not come to my place.

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I've got a very jealous boyfriend.

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Yes, I imagine you have.

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Why don't you call me around seven and we'll decide where to meet.

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My number is circle 53599.

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Circle 53599.

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You know, Dimples, you and I have something in common.

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I'm a circle too.

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I'll be waiting for you. Bye.

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All right, Frank, I'll be waiting.

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Finished?

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Just getting started.

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You know, Tony, some guys have got it and some haven't.

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Isn't this fun?

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This one's on me. Call it seven.

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A kook.

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And then on top of that, I blew three bucks on perfume and she never even thanked me for it.

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Buck up, Randy.

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Even Willie Mays strikes out now and then.

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I think I'll give up girls. Who needs them?

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Oh, I know exactly how you feel, son.

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Many's the time I've decided to declare a boycott on them myself.

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Irving Gallop says if you've got a good mind, you wouldn't get mixed up with them in the first place.

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Well, Irving is bitter.

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We don't want to be out too late.

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Gee, why not? There's no school tomorrow, so we can see it twice.

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Only twice? Lucky me.

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Good night.

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Good night. Have fun.

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Almost seven.

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Almost seven. Almost seven.

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I will dance tonight with heaven.

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Hello.

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Hello.

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This is... I mean Hal Town.

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Hal, you've caught a cold.

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Oh, no. Now, you see, I'm allergic to...

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I'm very good at curing colds.

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Would you like me to come over there and take care of yours?

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Yeah, well, you see, you don't understand. What I happen...

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You want to come...

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Oh, I've got the worst cold that I ever had in my life. It's the worst by the minute.

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I'll be right over.

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Yeah, you do that, please. Please hurry.

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Goodbye.

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Oh, roses, I love you.

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Good night.

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Music to whisper sweet nothings bye.

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Music for that certain mood.

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And love songs for the young at heart.

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There now.

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Impossible. Couldn't be already.

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Jet age or no jet age, it's impossible.

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Hello.

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Yeah, well, hello, but, well, Mrs. it's nice of you to drop in.

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Let's see, where can I plug in this vaporizer?

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Vaporizer? Vaporizer?

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Well, what... what in the world do you want with a vaporizer?

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I'm going to cure that nasty old cold of yours.

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Well, how did you know about my cold? I just thought of it a minute.

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I mean, Mrs. what is your name?

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Loretta, but you keep right on calling me Diffos.

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Halt to thee, blight spirit,

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Where thou never worked, that from heaven or near it,

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Horus thy full heart.

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She had me under that steam machine for so long that I felt like Robert Fulton.

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I don't understand. What gave her the idea you had a cold?

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I had a cold. Oh, well, I'll explain it to you, Sarge, but it's very complicated.

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All right, explain something else.

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How did you become involved with Loretta Kimball in the first place?

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It's a case of mistaken identity.

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Somebody's been sending her love notes and perfume and she thought it was me.

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Hey, Dad, how do you spell uncouth?

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Uncouth, U-N-C-O-U-T-H.

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C-O-U-T-H.

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Now, who's uncouth?

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You, girl, down the hall. I'm asking her to give my perfume back.

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Attaboy.

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Perfume?

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Three bucks worth.

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Dear dimples.

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You mean you wrote that note and sent the perfume?

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Don't rub it in.

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Don't rub it in? I'd like to... Did you know what you've done?

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Because of you, you caused me... She thinks that I sent... That's what happened.

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I don't follow you, Dad.

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I do.

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And he's in a mess.

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No, no, I'm not. No, I'm not. I'll just call up Loretta. That's all.

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Explain the whole thing to her. I'll tell her that the reason I called her and talked to her in the restaurant the other day was that because she was... Oh, she'll never believe me.

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You mean you cashed in on my perfume? You owe me three bucks.

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I owe you three bucks?

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I did the work.

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Is Mr. Town in?

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Which Mr. Town? We have to be sure these days.

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Mr. Town, I'm Sylvester Barnes.

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What can I do for you?

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Well, I've come here to discuss a mutual friend.

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Loretta Kimball.

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Oh, oh, come on, Randy.

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Howard.

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You're a friend of Loretta's?

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Yes, a close friend for over ten years.

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I always imagined that one day Loretta and I would be married.

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And then you came into the picture.

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I realized that I can't compete with a younger man.

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Ten years ago, I would have fought for the woman I love.

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But now I...

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Damn it, you see, there's nothing to fight about.

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You're quite right.

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Loretta has made her choice.

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I hope you'll both be very happy.

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Thank you, sir.

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Thank you.

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Mr. Barnes.

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Mr. Town, treat her kindly.

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Yeah, but you can't walk out like this.

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Good day, sir.

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Come on.

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We couldn't help overhearing, Henry.

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That poor man.

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You.

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You and your mash notes.

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Could I help it if my romance backfired on both of us?

19:19.700 --> 19:21.700
Now, don't blame Randy.

19:21.700 --> 19:23.700
Blame that giddy grandmother.

19:23.700 --> 19:25.700
How could she break that poor man's heart?

19:25.700 --> 19:29.700
And what does he mean he can't compete with a younger man?

19:29.700 --> 19:33.700
You're not so young.

19:33.700 --> 19:36.700
Compared to Mr. Barnes, I am.

19:36.700 --> 19:37.700
Total trouble in this thing.

19:37.700 --> 19:41.700
I'm too young.

19:41.700 --> 19:43.700
Yeah.

19:43.700 --> 19:45.700
Too young.

19:45.700 --> 19:51.700
Henry, what are you thinking?

19:51.700 --> 19:52.700
Oh, Mr. Barnes.

19:52.700 --> 19:54.700
Well, well, good of you to come.

19:54.700 --> 19:57.700
It was a big of you to invite me, Mr. Town.

19:57.700 --> 19:58.700
Not at all.

19:58.700 --> 20:04.700
Loretta, I didn't know that you were going to be here.

20:04.700 --> 20:06.700
Hello, Sylvester.

20:06.700 --> 20:07.700
You're looking well.

20:07.700 --> 20:12.700
And you're as beautiful as ever.

20:12.700 --> 20:14.700
Martini time.

20:14.700 --> 20:18.700
Now, this is my sister Karen from Topeka.

20:18.700 --> 20:19.700
Sister?

20:19.700 --> 20:20.700
Younger sister.

20:20.700 --> 20:22.700
I'm here visiting with Henry for a few days.

20:22.700 --> 20:23.700
Yes.

20:23.700 --> 20:26.700
Oh, Karen, this is Mrs. Loretta Kimball and Mr. Sylvester Barnes.

20:26.700 --> 20:27.700
How do you do?

20:27.700 --> 20:28.700
How do you do?

20:28.700 --> 20:29.700
How do you do?

20:29.700 --> 20:31.700
Well, we better drink these before they get soggy.

20:31.700 --> 20:34.700
Here's one for you.

20:34.700 --> 20:35.700
And you, Mr. Barnes?

20:35.700 --> 20:36.700
No, no, no, no.

20:36.700 --> 20:37.700
I don't think I should.

20:37.700 --> 20:38.700
I, I...

20:38.700 --> 20:39.700
Sylvester never drinks martinis.

20:39.700 --> 20:40.700
They give him headaches.

20:40.700 --> 20:41.700
Oh, come on, Mr. Barnes.

20:41.700 --> 20:43.700
Live dangerously.

20:43.700 --> 20:44.700
Oh, excuse me.

20:44.700 --> 20:47.700
Oh, goody, sauerkraut juice.

20:47.700 --> 20:49.700
Sauerkraut juice?

20:49.700 --> 20:51.700
Oh, that's all Henry ever drinks.

20:51.700 --> 20:53.700
It's good for his dizzy spells.

20:53.700 --> 20:54.700
Yes, clears them right up.

20:54.700 --> 20:58.700
Well, here's one for you.

20:58.700 --> 21:01.700
Oh, delicious.

21:01.700 --> 21:03.700
Well, there's nothing like a martini.

21:03.700 --> 21:06.700
Sylvester, you'll get a headache.

21:06.700 --> 21:11.700
Oh, nonsense, my dear.

21:11.700 --> 21:12.700
Nonsense.

21:12.700 --> 21:14.700
Oh, I do admire you, Mr. Barnes.

21:14.700 --> 21:16.700
My, you must be in excellent health.

21:16.700 --> 21:20.700
Why, Mr. Barnes, I'm afraid you're giving Henry an inferiority complex.

21:20.700 --> 21:22.700
Well, I, I don't mean to.

21:22.700 --> 21:24.700
Well, you can't help it.

21:24.700 --> 21:27.700
It's not your fault if you're so vigorous.

21:27.700 --> 21:29.700
Sylvester, vigorous?

21:29.700 --> 21:31.700
Mmm, and attractive.

21:31.700 --> 21:34.700
Like most women, I have a weakness for older men.

21:34.700 --> 21:36.700
Oh, really?

21:36.700 --> 21:41.700
Hulley!

21:41.700 --> 21:46.700
You have such wonderful rhythm, Sylvester.

21:46.700 --> 21:49.700
I do?

21:49.700 --> 21:52.700
Hulley!

21:52.700 --> 22:05.700
Hulley!

22:05.700 --> 22:08.700
Sylvester, I didn't know you could dance.

22:08.700 --> 22:13.700
There were a lot of things you didn't know about me, Loretta.

22:13.700 --> 22:15.700
Hal, are you sure you don't want to dance?

22:15.700 --> 22:17.700
Oh, no, I never dance, Loretta.

22:17.700 --> 22:19.700
You see, it's my fate.

22:19.700 --> 22:20.700
Oh, something very interesting about them.

22:20.700 --> 22:23.700
You see, the metatarsal joint is backwards.

22:23.700 --> 22:25.700
Oh, that was such fun.

22:25.700 --> 22:27.700
Yes, you know, I could dance all night.

22:27.700 --> 22:30.700
I say, why don't we all go to the Club Caribe?

22:30.700 --> 22:32.700
I hear they have a marvelous band there.

22:32.700 --> 22:34.700
Oh, the Club Caribe?

22:34.700 --> 22:36.700
Oh, I'm sorry, but you'll have to count me out.

22:36.700 --> 22:38.700
You see, at 11 o'clock, I go in the whirlpool.

22:38.700 --> 22:39.700
It's for my back.

22:39.700 --> 22:41.700
Oh, he's such a party pooper.

22:41.700 --> 22:44.700
Loretta, I'm not going to allow you to throw your life away

22:44.700 --> 22:47.700
on this poor specimen of a man.

22:47.700 --> 22:49.700
Yes, Sylvester, let's go.

22:49.700 --> 22:50.700
Oh, but Loretta...

22:50.700 --> 22:53.700
Don't bother getting up. You might strain something.

22:53.700 --> 22:55.700
Come on, let's move.

22:55.700 --> 22:57.700
Now, here's your wrap, my dear.

22:57.700 --> 22:58.700
Come along.

22:58.700 --> 22:59.700
Yeah, Sylvester.

22:59.700 --> 23:00.700
Yeah, but Loretta...

23:00.700 --> 23:02.700
Oh, don't go, don't go.

23:02.700 --> 23:04.700
We were having such fun.

23:04.700 --> 23:05.700
Fun?

23:05.700 --> 23:08.700
Loretta, what about me?

23:08.700 --> 23:10.700
Oh, go take another pill.

23:10.700 --> 23:13.700
Now, you can't do this to me.

23:13.700 --> 23:15.700
Loretta!

23:15.700 --> 23:17.700
We did it, huh?

23:17.700 --> 23:18.700
We certainly did, Henry.

23:18.700 --> 23:20.700
And how do you like the way I convinced Sylvester

23:20.700 --> 23:22.700
that he was a better man than I?

23:22.700 --> 23:23.700
Well, you almost convinced me.

23:23.700 --> 23:25.700
You were acting, weren't you?

23:25.700 --> 23:26.700
You know darn well I was acting.

23:26.700 --> 23:28.700
And did you have to put real sauerkraut juice

23:28.700 --> 23:30.700
in the sauerkraut juice?

23:30.700 --> 23:32.700
How about the martini cha-cha?

23:32.700 --> 23:34.700
Oh, I like that.

23:34.700 --> 23:43.700
Hello.

23:43.700 --> 23:44.700
Hi.

23:44.700 --> 23:46.700
Well, who are you?

23:46.700 --> 23:48.700
Susan Kimball.

23:48.700 --> 23:49.700
Susan Kim...

23:49.700 --> 23:52.700
Loretta's granddaughter?

23:52.700 --> 23:54.700
That was awfully nice, the way you brought Grandma

23:54.700 --> 23:57.700
and Sylvester together again.

23:57.700 --> 23:59.700
And clever, too.

23:59.700 --> 24:00.700
Clever?

24:00.700 --> 24:02.700
Well, Susan, I don't know what you're talking about.

24:02.700 --> 24:04.700
And whatever it is, please don't tell your grandmother.

24:04.700 --> 24:06.700
Well, I won't.

24:06.700 --> 24:09.700
If you'll introduce me to that vassal son of yours.

24:09.700 --> 24:15.700
I've been waiting for him to talk to me for days.

24:15.700 --> 24:18.700
Lady, you have a deal.

24:18.700 --> 24:37.700
May I escort you home?

25:18.700 --> 25:21.700
The End