WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:03.680 Listen carefully. 00:03.680 --> 00:10.360 That is the sound of someone moving into the fourth dimension. 00:10.360 --> 00:32.120 You'll hear the full story now from Hollywood on Romance. 00:32.120 --> 00:38.800 Romance transcribed stories of love and adventure, of comedy and crisis, of conflict and human 00:38.800 --> 00:39.800 emotion. 00:39.800 --> 00:45.040 Today, an amusing and highly improbable account of life in the 25th century as we present 00:45.040 --> 00:55.000 Joseph Slotkin's science fiction adventure, The Strip Teaser and The Space Warp. 00:55.000 --> 01:03.880 Hi, my name is Benny Spelvin. 01:03.880 --> 01:05.160 I'm a space bum. 01:05.160 --> 01:08.840 Now, this all happened just a couple years ago when I was laying over on Venus after 01:08.840 --> 01:11.680 being jet man on the Ceres to Neptune Run. 01:11.680 --> 01:16.400 Well, anyhow, there I was relaxing with my second plutonium stinger in the dignified 01:16.400 --> 01:21.960 atmosphere of Charlie's Venusian retreat when it was a strange noise outside the dive. 01:21.960 --> 01:24.960 Oh, my. 01:24.960 --> 01:29.480 Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. 01:29.480 --> 01:32.200 I beg your pardon. 01:32.200 --> 01:33.760 Would you mind if I joined you? 01:33.760 --> 01:35.960 Hey, you don't look good. 01:35.960 --> 01:36.960 Maybe you'd better sit down. 01:36.960 --> 01:37.960 Thank you. 01:37.960 --> 01:40.720 Oh, thank you very much. 01:40.720 --> 01:41.720 Waiter. 01:41.720 --> 01:45.360 Yeah, what do you have? 01:45.360 --> 01:49.040 I'll have two of whatever he's got there, sir. 01:49.040 --> 01:51.840 Hey, mister, this here's a plutonium stinger. 01:51.840 --> 01:54.560 Yeah, we only allow two to a customer. 01:54.560 --> 01:57.520 Well, maybe you'd better bring me three, waiter. 01:57.520 --> 01:59.520 Who are you trying to kid, mister? 01:59.520 --> 02:00.800 Look, never mind, Sam. 02:00.800 --> 02:04.640 Just bring I and the little guy here a couple of Uranus Delights and forget it, will you? 02:04.640 --> 02:06.560 OK, but nobody gets wise with me. 02:06.560 --> 02:08.040 I got my job. 02:08.040 --> 02:10.280 OK, you don't want to mind them waiters, mister. 02:10.280 --> 02:12.920 They're all from Saturn, you know, cheap help. 02:12.920 --> 02:17.560 Oh, I've had to get used to all sorts of things lately. 02:17.560 --> 02:19.960 Yeah, yeah, so I see. 02:19.960 --> 02:23.160 OK, that'll be two asteroids. 02:23.160 --> 02:26.920 Here you are. 02:26.920 --> 02:27.920 Keep the change. 02:27.920 --> 02:28.920 Yeah, mister, thanks. 02:28.920 --> 02:29.920 Sure. 02:29.920 --> 02:35.360 Hey, look, fella, maybe it's none of my business, but Charlie's poison, that'll pick you up 02:35.360 --> 02:36.360 and lay you down. 02:36.360 --> 02:39.400 Oh, what difference does it make? 02:39.400 --> 02:41.360 He'll get me sooner or later. 02:41.360 --> 02:42.360 He? 02:42.360 --> 02:43.360 Yes. 02:43.360 --> 02:46.640 Perhaps you heard that heat ray gun going off outside a moment ago. 02:46.640 --> 02:48.920 Oh, yes, that's what them noises were. 02:48.920 --> 02:54.880 Yes, wherever I go, he shoots at me, waits for me to leave the house and then he shoots 02:54.880 --> 02:55.880 at me. 02:55.880 --> 02:59.600 Well, look, mister, it's none of my business, but would you carry all them asteroids around 02:59.600 --> 03:01.640 on one or somebody's taking pot shots at you? 03:01.640 --> 03:03.840 Oh, Luigi isn't interested in mine. 03:03.840 --> 03:08.520 You don't mean Luigi the vlog? 03:08.520 --> 03:09.520 Precisely. 03:09.520 --> 03:13.160 Look, this ain't funny, mister. 03:13.160 --> 03:15.640 Everybody knows what a dangerous guy that guy is. 03:15.640 --> 03:18.640 Hey, what's he got on you? 03:18.640 --> 03:21.160 He thinks I stole his girl. 03:21.160 --> 03:26.000 Oh, sure, I make any fellow... 03:26.000 --> 03:27.000 Stole his... 03:27.000 --> 03:28.000 You? 03:28.000 --> 03:29.000 Well, I didn't, of course. 03:29.000 --> 03:33.040 But the fact that the last time she was seen was entering my apartment and the fact that 03:33.040 --> 03:38.000 she never left it, at least visibly, well, it makes it difficult to convince him. 03:38.000 --> 03:39.000 Oh, now wait a minute. 03:39.000 --> 03:42.240 Oh, I don't expect anyone to believe me anymore. 03:42.240 --> 03:44.040 Sometimes I find it hard to believe myself. 03:44.040 --> 03:48.320 Well, do you know who Luigi's girl is? 03:48.320 --> 03:49.320 Was. 03:49.320 --> 03:50.320 Helen Latouva. 03:50.320 --> 03:51.320 The same. 03:51.320 --> 03:53.880 The queen of the barley circuit. 03:53.880 --> 03:54.880 The same. 03:54.880 --> 03:55.880 Wow. 03:55.880 --> 03:58.040 She was the most attractive person. 03:58.040 --> 04:00.320 Yeah, right out of this world. 04:00.320 --> 04:03.120 Precisely right out of this world. 04:03.120 --> 04:04.120 In your apartment. 04:04.120 --> 04:06.720 No, just out of this world. 04:06.720 --> 04:10.760 Look, if you wouldn't mind running the risk, I would appreciate your company. 04:10.760 --> 04:12.040 Where are you going? 04:12.040 --> 04:13.040 Back to my apartment. 04:13.040 --> 04:16.000 The refreshments here lack the needed stimulation. 04:16.000 --> 04:23.800 I have a much better supply at home. 04:23.800 --> 04:28.360 Now under ordinary circumstances, I would turn down such an invitation. 04:28.360 --> 04:33.320 But I find myself feeling sorry for a little guy who was obviously soft and inorganic. 04:33.320 --> 04:34.320 So I give in. 04:34.320 --> 04:40.440 And besides, I'm fascinated like a snake by this connection between this here mild looking 04:40.440 --> 04:44.480 little neb and luscious Helen Latouva. 04:44.480 --> 04:49.320 Oh, here we are. 04:49.320 --> 04:53.120 Maybe here. 04:53.120 --> 04:54.800 Let me turn on the lights. 04:54.800 --> 04:58.560 Hey, it's a crazy looking pad you got here. 04:58.560 --> 04:59.560 Yes, isn't it? 04:59.560 --> 05:02.360 My, it's good to be safe again. 05:02.360 --> 05:04.960 Please forgive me for not introducing myself sooner. 05:04.960 --> 05:11.640 But under the circumstances, my name is Timothy J. Brown, PhD, MD and MA. 05:11.640 --> 05:14.440 Oh, well, I'm Benjamin Spelvin. 05:14.440 --> 05:15.440 No initials. 05:15.440 --> 05:16.440 Very well. 05:16.440 --> 05:19.440 Benny, if I may call you that. 05:19.440 --> 05:21.000 Oh, sure, that's okay. 05:21.000 --> 05:23.860 Benny, I am, you see, a psychiatrist. 05:23.860 --> 05:25.360 You mean you're a... 05:25.360 --> 05:26.920 Oh, yeah. 05:26.920 --> 05:31.320 I am concerned mainly with psychological abnormalities and maladjustments. 05:31.320 --> 05:34.920 I'm also known as something of an expert in the science of phenomenology. 05:34.920 --> 05:38.200 Yeah, sure, sure. 05:38.200 --> 05:41.960 But what has this got to do with the disappearance of Helen Latouva? 05:41.960 --> 05:44.040 Oh, yes. 05:44.040 --> 05:51.040 The events that brought me, a modest scientist, into contact with this awful Luigi, the lug 05:51.040 --> 05:57.160 and that delectable creature, Miss Helen Latouva. 05:57.160 --> 06:02.480 Not so long ago, I came to Venus from a rather successful series of experiments on Mars to 06:02.480 --> 06:07.640 continue my research on the lack of inhibition in the outer planets, among the inhabitants, 06:07.640 --> 06:09.120 that is. 06:09.120 --> 06:13.600 Everyone on Earth had long ago been successfully set at peace with their psyches, but here 06:13.600 --> 06:15.320 on the frontiers of civilization... 06:15.320 --> 06:22.560 Well, I had set up practice here in this apartment when one day I was visited by this very attractive 06:22.560 --> 06:23.680 young woman. 06:23.680 --> 06:25.720 I'm grateful for you seeing me, Professor. 06:25.720 --> 06:27.120 Honest I am. 06:27.120 --> 06:29.720 Miss Latouva, was it? 06:29.720 --> 06:30.720 Yeah, Helen Latouva. 06:30.720 --> 06:32.720 You heard of me? 06:32.720 --> 06:35.800 Well, the name has a familiar ring. 06:35.800 --> 06:39.320 I've been known in the strip-tease game as Queen of the Galaxy Gavotte. 06:39.320 --> 06:42.280 Well, just what do you do? 06:42.280 --> 06:43.280 I'm a tease artist. 06:43.280 --> 06:44.280 I take it off. 06:44.280 --> 06:45.280 Strip. 06:45.280 --> 06:46.280 Huh? 06:46.280 --> 06:50.400 Well, Doc, the trouble is I'm right out of this world. 06:50.400 --> 06:52.080 I beg your pardon? 06:52.080 --> 06:53.200 That's the trouble. 06:53.200 --> 06:55.280 I've been right out of this world. 06:55.280 --> 06:57.080 Oh, you have dreams? 06:57.080 --> 06:59.120 Let me explain. 06:59.120 --> 07:01.800 I'm opening next week after a layoff on Earth, see? 07:01.800 --> 07:06.480 Well, they got the whole show with the little Venus built around my number, and I figured 07:06.480 --> 07:09.280 out a routine that's a sure sensation. 07:09.280 --> 07:10.280 You should see this number. 07:10.280 --> 07:12.080 It begins with me wiggling like this. 07:12.080 --> 07:15.680 Well, I believe we can dispense with the... 07:15.680 --> 07:17.680 Oh, but that's just it, Doc. 07:17.680 --> 07:19.680 I've got to tell you about it. 07:19.680 --> 07:21.680 It's symbolic, see? 07:21.680 --> 07:25.040 A sort of United Planets number. 07:25.040 --> 07:28.720 The idea is that all the planets are held together by love. 07:28.720 --> 07:29.720 Real solid love. 07:29.720 --> 07:31.720 The kind that grips you. 07:31.720 --> 07:32.720 Yes. 07:32.720 --> 07:36.520 Well, please, Miss Latouva, come to the source of your difficulty. 07:36.520 --> 07:37.520 Hmm? 07:37.520 --> 07:38.520 Oh. 07:38.520 --> 07:40.800 Well, the number's coming along terrific. 07:40.800 --> 07:43.400 I got it down perfect, every movement. 07:43.400 --> 07:47.600 I feel I reached a peak in my art when it happens. 07:47.600 --> 07:48.600 Yes? 07:48.600 --> 07:50.960 I'm doing the routine in my dressing room, see? 07:50.960 --> 07:55.200 First the singing, then the bubbles, then I get to the part where I suddenly give a 07:55.200 --> 07:59.880 sort of wiggle with my hips, and then... 07:59.880 --> 08:00.880 And then, Miss Latouva? 08:00.880 --> 08:01.880 Oh, that's it, Doc. 08:01.880 --> 08:02.880 That's when it happened. 08:02.880 --> 08:10.160 One minute I'm standing there in my room practicing, and then I ain't there anymore. 08:10.160 --> 08:11.760 Well, where were you? 08:11.760 --> 08:13.920 Well, it's the funniest part of it. 08:13.920 --> 08:18.840 I was standing on sand and some kind of desert-like. 08:18.840 --> 08:21.200 And Doc, there was someone staring at me. 08:21.200 --> 08:22.200 I see. 08:22.200 --> 08:23.200 A man, doubtless. 08:23.200 --> 08:24.200 Yeah. 08:24.200 --> 08:27.560 And when he saw me standing there, he came toward me. 08:27.560 --> 08:31.880 So I figured, here's a man, and I got my new routine, let's try it out. 08:31.880 --> 08:34.440 So watching his face, I started my dance. 08:34.440 --> 08:35.440 Then what happened? 08:35.440 --> 08:41.160 Well, when I got to that same hip sway, his face became dim and sort of cloudy. 08:41.160 --> 08:45.440 And then in a flash, I was back in my room again, just like it never happened. 08:45.440 --> 08:51.120 Miss Latouva, tell me, when you were a child, were you always imagining men were looking 08:51.120 --> 08:52.120 at you? 08:52.120 --> 08:53.120 They were. 08:53.120 --> 08:57.320 Hey, you think I'm imagining I was somewhere else? 08:57.320 --> 09:01.200 Well, how come when I got back in my room, there was sand on the bottoms of my slippers? 09:01.200 --> 09:02.200 Yes, of course, of course. 09:02.200 --> 09:03.440 Now, I am not disagreeing with you. 09:03.440 --> 09:06.000 Look, I'll do my routine right here, Doc, right now. 09:06.000 --> 09:07.000 You'll see. 09:07.000 --> 09:12.200 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please, Miss Latouva, not in my, please, not in my... 09:12.200 --> 09:13.200 You see now? 09:13.200 --> 09:15.200 Yes, yes, I'm afraid I'm beginning to. 09:15.200 --> 09:16.200 Oh dear, oh dear. 09:16.200 --> 09:17.200 How do you like it, Professor? 09:17.200 --> 09:18.200 Oh, it's quite interesting. 09:18.200 --> 09:19.200 Oh my, almost unusual. 09:19.200 --> 09:20.200 Oh dear. 09:20.200 --> 09:29.200 Just about now, I go into my new hip sway like this, and... 09:29.200 --> 09:32.200 Ah, Miss Latouva? 09:32.200 --> 09:35.240 Miss Latouva? 09:35.240 --> 09:51.320 Where are you? 09:51.320 --> 09:53.960 We'll return to romance in just a moment. 09:53.960 --> 09:58.600 Tomorrow, on the Woolworth Hour, Percy Faith strikes up the band for Gala goings on with 09:58.600 --> 10:03.600 Alec Templeton, who will perform the world premiere of his pocket-sized sonata for clarinet. 10:03.600 --> 10:09.200 Tomorrow, every Sunday, over most of these same stations, listen for the Woolworth Hour. 10:09.200 --> 10:24.800 And now, for the second act of romance. 10:24.800 --> 10:29.480 She was gone without warning of any sort, she had vanished into thin air. 10:29.480 --> 10:32.120 Well, you can imagine how perturbed I was. 10:32.120 --> 10:35.400 I searched the entire apartment thoroughly. 10:35.400 --> 10:38.960 For a moment, I was inclined to believe it was merely an hallucination of my own, but 10:38.960 --> 10:45.400 there was the evidence of the clothing she had already shed, lying on the floor to prove 10:45.400 --> 10:46.400 my own sanity. 10:46.400 --> 10:54.720 Oh, I needed to drink something to calm me as I was pouring myself a uranium delight. 10:54.720 --> 10:56.480 I'm back, Doc. 10:56.480 --> 10:57.480 Miss Latouva! 10:57.480 --> 10:59.720 Guess where I was this time. 10:59.720 --> 11:02.920 What is that you're holding? 11:02.920 --> 11:04.480 It looks like a human hand. 11:04.480 --> 11:08.480 Oh, this, it's some kind of a metal glove. 11:08.480 --> 11:11.000 What a night. 11:11.000 --> 11:12.000 Night? 11:12.000 --> 11:14.680 You've been gone merely a few minutes, how can you say night? 11:14.680 --> 11:15.680 Search me. 11:15.680 --> 11:18.560 All I know is I just spent the last few hours with a knight. 11:18.560 --> 11:20.920 You know, the kind that ride a horse. 11:20.920 --> 11:28.280 Well, then this is a gauntlet, the sort worn by those legendary knights in the prehistory 11:28.280 --> 11:29.760 time of King Arthur. 11:29.760 --> 11:31.880 He was so sweet, Doc. 11:31.880 --> 11:32.880 Talk kind of funny. 11:32.880 --> 11:36.960 He called it English, but I could understand enough to know. 11:36.960 --> 11:41.560 Oh, anyhow, after a while, I remembered you'd be worried about me, so I sneaked out of his 11:41.560 --> 11:42.560 castle. 11:42.560 --> 11:43.560 Castle? 11:43.560 --> 11:44.560 Yeah. 11:44.560 --> 11:48.120 Anyhow, I went through my routine up to the point where I wiggle my hips and poof, here 11:48.120 --> 11:49.120 I am. 11:49.120 --> 11:50.120 Yes, but where were you? 11:50.120 --> 11:51.120 Oh, search me. 11:51.120 --> 11:54.120 He said his name was Lancelot. 11:54.120 --> 11:55.120 What? 11:55.120 --> 11:56.120 Lancelot. 11:56.120 --> 12:00.200 Oh, that's a nice name. 12:00.200 --> 12:02.200 I wonder what Luigi would say. 12:02.200 --> 12:06.800 Lancelot, a metal gauntlet sand on your slippers. 12:06.800 --> 12:13.400 Miss Latour, do you realize what you have accomplished by a mere wiggle of your hips? 12:13.400 --> 12:16.120 I built up quite a reputation, I know that. 12:16.120 --> 12:18.120 Hey, my seam's straightened. 12:18.120 --> 12:19.120 Yes, yes. 12:19.120 --> 12:24.000 Look, either we are both crazy or you have found a way to penetrate through the fourth 12:24.000 --> 12:25.640 dimension into time itself. 12:25.640 --> 12:27.840 Oh, that's fine, Doc. 12:27.840 --> 12:32.040 Only if you can figure out some way to get that penetration, you called it, out of my 12:32.040 --> 12:34.560 act so I won't disappear in the middle of it. 12:34.560 --> 12:37.320 After all, I don't want to disappoint the cash customer. 12:37.320 --> 12:38.720 Your act is unimportant. 12:38.720 --> 12:45.520 Now, you have created a miracle in science merely by the undulations of your lower extremities. 12:45.520 --> 12:51.200 Somehow, in some way, through that little wiggle of your hips, you have found your way 12:51.200 --> 12:55.880 through a warp in space that's projected you into another time sphere, coextensive with 12:55.880 --> 12:56.880 our own. 12:56.880 --> 12:57.880 Oh, that's great, Doc. 12:57.880 --> 13:01.800 Supposing I come up here again sometime so I can see lamp. 13:01.800 --> 13:03.320 Well, hardly. 13:03.320 --> 13:06.920 Come to my apartment so that you can carry on with a man dead a thousand, three thousand 13:06.920 --> 13:07.920 years? 13:07.920 --> 13:08.920 Certainly not. 13:08.920 --> 13:10.680 He didn't seem dead to me. 13:10.680 --> 13:13.960 Miss Latour, do you realize what this would mean to science? 13:13.960 --> 13:15.800 Why do I care about science? 13:15.800 --> 13:18.440 All I want is my routine. 13:18.440 --> 13:22.840 Can you help me get that there fourth dimensional wiggle out of my routine, or can't you? 13:22.840 --> 13:25.880 Well, I'd have to study this phenomenon much more closely. 13:25.880 --> 13:30.520 Listen, I built myself up from a walk on in the chorus, worked hard, figured out my own 13:30.520 --> 13:35.240 bumps and grinds, developed my own hip rolls, just so I could make myself the biggest name 13:35.240 --> 13:36.240 in the business. 13:36.240 --> 13:37.240 And now what happens? 13:37.240 --> 13:42.580 I got what you call a fourth dimensional wiggle that gets me out through a space warp into 13:42.580 --> 13:44.960 somebody's backyard who lived before I was born. 13:44.960 --> 13:45.960 Well, I'm fed up. 13:45.960 --> 13:48.440 I'll cut the business out of my routine and that's that. 13:48.440 --> 13:50.840 No, no, no, no, you've got a debt to society. 13:50.840 --> 13:54.840 Listen, I ain't playing guinea pig for no jerk scientists. 13:54.840 --> 13:56.840 I got my aunt to think about. 13:56.840 --> 14:02.640 No, no, no, please, I grant you all that, but Miss Latour, wait. 14:02.640 --> 14:09.160 I was nonplussed, but I felt sure if I could just see her again and explain her value to 14:09.160 --> 14:13.360 science, well, at any rate, I knew where to go. 14:13.360 --> 14:19.040 I had never in all my life frequented one of those burlesque houses. 14:19.040 --> 14:28.360 So it was with some apprehension that I sank into a seat in the semi darkness of the little 14:28.360 --> 14:29.360 Venus theater. 14:29.360 --> 14:33.920 Before the main show begins, ladies and gentlemen, lend me your ears. 14:33.920 --> 14:34.920 Now you see this? 14:34.920 --> 14:37.640 Well, you'll never see nothing like it. 14:37.640 --> 14:43.360 Not only for two asteroids do you get a box of delicious chocolates with the nuts inside, 14:43.360 --> 14:46.560 but a valuable prize in each and every box. 14:46.560 --> 14:51.160 Plus, plus folks, a voluptuous picture of Maisie the Martian. 14:51.160 --> 14:54.200 Now my assistants will walk among you. 14:54.200 --> 15:00.800 As I relaxed munching on the chocolates I had purchased, I must confess I was intrigued. 15:00.800 --> 15:09.480 And now, ladies and gentlemen, the queen of the galaxy gavotte, our star attraction, the 15:09.480 --> 15:23.640 toast of the universe, Miss Helen Latour. 15:23.640 --> 15:29.120 Well there she was doing her routine on the stage. 15:29.120 --> 15:32.160 It was quite well received. 15:32.160 --> 15:37.960 But there was something lacking. 15:37.960 --> 15:40.640 That hip wiggle. 15:40.640 --> 15:48.120 Once having seen it, one comes to miss it, as it were. 15:48.120 --> 15:54.360 After the performance, I endeavored to see Miss Latour backstage to see if I could persuade 15:54.360 --> 15:59.960 her to change her mind and let me examine the evidence more thoroughly. 15:59.960 --> 16:04.160 That is when I had my first brush with this Luigi person. 16:04.160 --> 16:07.400 Hey Pop, what do you think you're going? 16:07.400 --> 16:11.400 Oh, well they told me Miss Latour's dressing room was this way. 16:11.400 --> 16:13.880 Oh, a stage door John, huh? 16:13.880 --> 16:16.200 Sir, I am Timothy J. Brown and I desire... 16:16.200 --> 16:19.320 Well Pop, you had in order to be creeping around those strip gals' dressing room. 16:19.320 --> 16:20.520 Now look, don't you understand? 16:20.520 --> 16:21.520 I must see her. 16:21.520 --> 16:23.400 Oh yeah, well get this. 16:23.400 --> 16:27.200 Nobody goes in there but me, Luigi Campanello, see? 16:27.200 --> 16:29.920 Oh, are you Luigi the Lug? 16:29.920 --> 16:31.040 Huh? 16:31.040 --> 16:33.960 Nobody calls me that to my face, see? 16:33.960 --> 16:37.280 And if I catch him calling that behind my back, see? 16:37.280 --> 16:43.180 Oh yes, well I'm sorry Mr. Luigi, I really am, but I have just got to see Miss Latour. 16:43.180 --> 16:48.040 You see, I want her to do her entire routine for me and... 16:48.040 --> 16:52.000 Listen, wise guy, better scram before I scalp that pointy beard of yours. 16:52.000 --> 16:54.960 No, no, look, you don't understand sir, I must see Miss Latour. 16:54.960 --> 16:56.440 She must do her dance for me. 16:56.440 --> 17:03.960 Go on, creep, beat it out, you're going out, come back! 17:03.960 --> 17:06.000 Well I was desperate. 17:06.000 --> 17:07.520 She wouldn't answer her telescreen. 17:07.520 --> 17:12.280 I sent her numerous notes when she returned, unopened, and then one evening just when I 17:12.280 --> 17:14.280 least expected it... 17:14.280 --> 17:16.800 Hiya Doc. 17:16.800 --> 17:18.120 Miss Latour. 17:18.120 --> 17:22.200 Well, are you ready to continue with our experiments? 17:22.200 --> 17:24.560 I ain't here for any experiments. 17:24.560 --> 17:25.560 Well then why did you... 17:25.560 --> 17:28.760 I've been practicing that space warp and hip wiggle in private, see? 17:28.760 --> 17:34.280 And I've been meeting all sorts of characters, but not the one I got a real interest in. 17:34.280 --> 17:36.640 Miss Latour, if you have come here... 17:36.640 --> 17:40.000 Oh I'm bored Doc, Luigi's getting even jealouser. 17:40.000 --> 17:47.680 So I figured if I come back to the place I first seen Lancelot, well, never mind. 17:47.680 --> 17:50.120 So here's hoping he'll be there. 17:50.120 --> 17:52.120 Oh no, oh. 17:52.120 --> 17:54.840 Sweet boy Lanc. 17:54.840 --> 17:56.840 Miss Latour please don't begin that again. 17:56.840 --> 17:59.560 No, no, no. 17:59.560 --> 18:03.880 Miss Latour please, please, I feel, I must warn you that... 18:03.880 --> 18:04.880 Warn me about what? 18:04.880 --> 18:11.480 Warn you that, dear, that time and space are really fluid as that ancient philosopher Einstein 18:11.480 --> 18:13.720 suspected back in the 20th century. 18:13.720 --> 18:17.640 You may not reach the same time space continuum again, you may well wiggle yourself into the 18:17.640 --> 18:21.680 middle of a Pharaoh's tomb, why perhaps even to the bottom of the Russian ocean. 18:21.680 --> 18:23.680 I'll take my chances Doc. 18:23.680 --> 18:24.680 Oh. 18:24.680 --> 18:29.520 Oh pretty good huh? 18:29.520 --> 18:33.080 I implore you Miss Latour. 18:33.080 --> 18:47.080 And now Lancelot honey, here I... 18:47.080 --> 18:53.040 Well I waited for what seemed an eternity but she never reappeared to this day. 18:53.040 --> 18:55.640 And that's the story. 18:55.640 --> 18:59.520 Yeah, say Professor, you mind if I grab another drink? 18:59.520 --> 19:01.920 Oh of course not Benny, help yourself. 19:01.920 --> 19:02.920 Ah thanks. 19:02.920 --> 19:08.000 I guess maybe you've been hitting a bottle yourself lately Doc? 19:08.000 --> 19:11.600 Oh you don't believe me do you Mr. Spelvin, Benny? 19:11.600 --> 19:16.760 Well no, not exactly but you've got a bit of a sense kind of... 19:16.760 --> 19:17.760 Luigi! 19:17.760 --> 19:18.760 Okay Pop, where is she? 19:18.760 --> 19:19.760 Where you keeping her? 19:19.760 --> 19:22.560 Please Mr. Luigi, Miss Latour is not here. 19:22.560 --> 19:25.000 I don't know exactly where she is. 19:25.000 --> 19:26.960 What do you know about it? 19:26.960 --> 19:27.960 Mr. I... 19:27.960 --> 19:30.120 I never seen this guy until this evening, I don't know nothing. 19:30.120 --> 19:34.480 I assure you I would like to help you Mr. Luigi. 19:34.480 --> 19:38.920 Well hello suckers. 19:38.920 --> 19:39.920 Baby. 19:39.920 --> 19:40.920 Great Latour herself. 19:40.920 --> 19:41.920 Baby where you been? 19:41.920 --> 19:46.920 Wouldn't you like to know? 19:46.920 --> 19:50.040 So you been to time on me huh? 19:50.040 --> 19:51.040 For this old girl. 19:51.040 --> 19:52.040 I assure you. 19:52.040 --> 19:53.040 The Doc? 19:53.040 --> 19:55.800 You been making book with the Martians too long. 19:55.800 --> 19:57.600 Now I go where I please. 19:57.600 --> 20:00.840 Ever since I figured how to get direction on this here wiggle. 20:00.840 --> 20:03.960 Look, that white robe, Miss Latour, where did you get it? 20:03.960 --> 20:04.960 This thing? 20:04.960 --> 20:06.920 The old guy I married gave it to me. 20:06.920 --> 20:07.920 Married? 20:07.920 --> 20:09.920 Yeah, but I'm getting fed up. 20:09.920 --> 20:14.640 Besides, I met a new fellas got a lot more SA than the guy I'm hitched to now. 20:14.640 --> 20:18.760 Why three goddesses were after him to judge their beauty contest once. 20:18.760 --> 20:21.520 You take that jet line to Atlantic City baby? 20:21.520 --> 20:25.120 Professor, tell this jerk what I'm talking about. 20:25.120 --> 20:27.040 So that's why you didn't come back. 20:27.040 --> 20:31.120 Yeah, I've been telling my new boyfriend about the way I can dance. 20:31.120 --> 20:33.120 He kept pleading for me to do my stuff. 20:33.120 --> 20:35.080 I finally gave in. 20:35.080 --> 20:37.080 Guess I'm still a ham. 20:37.080 --> 20:40.440 Well, right after we eloped, I did my strip tease for him. 20:40.440 --> 20:43.600 I guess I must have forgotten added that extra wiggle. 20:43.600 --> 20:46.040 Poof, here I am. 20:46.040 --> 20:47.400 Well, where were you, Miss Latour? 20:47.400 --> 20:48.880 Oh, some crazy place. 20:48.880 --> 20:51.000 They wear sheets instead of clothes. 20:51.000 --> 20:53.120 They call them togas or something. 20:53.120 --> 20:54.800 Listen, I got to get back. 20:54.800 --> 20:58.200 There's going to be some trouble because Paris and me eloped. 20:58.200 --> 21:00.040 You been in France, Miss Latour? 21:00.040 --> 21:02.520 Fella, I've been everywhere. 21:02.520 --> 21:09.200 Well, this here's Latour's farewell tour, man. 21:09.200 --> 21:12.560 Hey, baby, you ain't going to start that routine here, are you? 21:12.560 --> 21:14.680 Shut up, creep, I got to concentrate. 21:14.680 --> 21:20.240 This here robe sort of cramps my style. 21:20.240 --> 21:23.640 You know, Miss Latour, there must be a destiny about this. 21:23.640 --> 21:26.480 Yeah, that's what my Paris keeps telling me. 21:26.480 --> 21:29.600 It won't seem the same on Venus without you. 21:29.600 --> 21:31.160 Oh, shut up, Professor. 21:31.160 --> 21:33.920 Baby, stop dancing around. 21:33.920 --> 21:35.680 Out of my way, Lug. 21:35.680 --> 21:37.480 I'm working up to the finale. 21:37.480 --> 21:41.120 So long, suckers. 21:41.120 --> 21:43.960 Miss Latour. 21:43.960 --> 21:51.080 She, she's here no more. 21:51.080 --> 21:52.600 Baby? 21:52.600 --> 21:53.960 Helen? 21:53.960 --> 21:57.600 Where you hiding? 21:57.600 --> 21:59.080 Honey? 21:59.080 --> 22:01.280 Helen! 22:01.280 --> 22:04.160 It's no use, Mr. Luigi. 22:04.160 --> 22:07.080 She's gone back, and this time I suspect it's forever. 22:07.080 --> 22:10.360 But she can't do that for me. 22:10.360 --> 22:12.000 Gone back? 22:12.000 --> 22:13.360 Where? 22:13.360 --> 22:14.640 To her Paris. 22:14.640 --> 22:15.640 What? 22:15.640 --> 22:17.520 Leave me for some Frenchman? 22:17.520 --> 22:19.640 Oh, no, no, no, no. 22:19.640 --> 22:22.160 This Paris is a part of ancient Greece. 22:22.160 --> 22:26.040 He was a young shepherd prince who stole the wife of Menelaus and thereby started the Trojan 22:26.040 --> 22:27.040 War. 22:27.040 --> 22:28.040 Ah. 22:28.040 --> 22:29.040 Helen. 22:29.040 --> 22:30.040 Of course. 22:30.040 --> 22:34.480 That was her name, Helen of Troy. 22:34.480 --> 22:36.000 Helen Latour. 22:36.000 --> 22:39.120 The face that launched a thousand ships. 22:39.120 --> 22:41.240 Who would ever have believed? 22:41.240 --> 22:42.240 Okay, Pop. 22:42.240 --> 22:46.080 Oh, Mr. Eel, you can see the doctor's telling the truth. 22:46.080 --> 22:47.360 He didn't steal your girl. 22:47.360 --> 22:49.200 Who says he did? 22:49.200 --> 22:54.320 I'm going after that guy Paris, and when I find him, I'm going to turn on the heat ray 22:54.320 --> 22:57.960 and blast him right into Ceres. 22:57.960 --> 23:14.200 How far is gonna steal my girl? 23:14.200 --> 23:16.720 Romance is produced and directed by William Frugge. 23:16.720 --> 23:20.920 The strip teaser and the space warp was written by Joseph Slapkin and featured Jack Crouchon, 23:20.920 --> 23:24.240 Parley Bear, Charlotte Lawrence, Peter Leeds, and Lou Krugman. 23:24.240 --> 23:26.400 Musical supervision by Jerry Goldsmith. 23:26.400 --> 23:28.960 And patterns by Ray Kemper and Bill James. 23:28.960 --> 23:33.400 This is Dan Coverley, inviting you to hear Romance transcribed next week at this same 23:33.400 --> 23:41.400 time. 23:41.400 --> 23:45.240 Gunsmoke is the action-packed dramatic series that takes place in the early days of Dodge 23:45.240 --> 23:49.160 City when a man was no taller than his gun sight and no sharper than the click of his 23:49.160 --> 23:50.160 trigger. 23:50.160 --> 23:53.780 For all that excitement, stay tuned now for Gunsmoke, which follows immediately over most 23:53.780 --> 24:00.780 of the same stations.