I'm the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man, and I'm here to read the
funnies to you happy boys and honies. Yes boys and girls, it's comic weekly time,
and here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right
out of the pages of Puck the comic weekly, straight into your living room,
your friend the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man.
Hello, hello, hello. Hello, hello, hello.
Ha ha ha, little miss honey, how are you today? Oh I'm just wonderful. And I know why. Why? Because this is an exciting week.
Lincoln's birthday and St. Valentine's Day comes this week. That's right. And I don't blame
you for being excited. And you know something? My girlfriend, Diane, has a birthday on
Valentine's Day. I'll bet you she's excited. Yes, I'll bet you she is. You know, people send
Valentine's to each other on Valentine's Day, be my Valentine because I love you.
How did that get started? Well, long ago people said Valentine's Day aside is a special day when you
should tell the person you were in love with that you love them. Isn't that nice? So that's how it all
started I guess. Isn't that nice? And so today we send Valentine's to people we like too.
So we can let them know we're thinking of them even though they aren't the ones we love the most.
Isn't that nice? Yes, it is nice. Now you know what I'm going to do. Read me the funny? That's exactly what I'm going to do.
That's nice too. Yes, Puck the Comic Weekly. And I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do,
let's listen to this nice man.
Well, here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly and on the first page Hop-A-Long Cassidy. Magic words for the music please.
Very well, my lady. Six guns blazing as he thunders along. Give us music for Hop-A-Long.
Hoppy and his pals, California and Lucky, had come upon a herd of stolen cattle in a canyon.
And then they had a brush with the cattle thieves. And while Lucky and California deliver the herd of cattle to the Bar 20 ranch,
it's time to welcome the
Page hop along Cassidy magic words for the music very well my lady six guns
blazing as he thunders along give us music for hop along
Hoppy and his pals California and Lucky had come upon a herd of stolen cattle
in a canyon and then they had a brush with the cattle thieves while Lucky in
California deliver the herd of cattle to the bar 20 ranch Hoppy had gone off and
pursued to the leader of the rustlers Hoppy was knocked unconscious when
driven into a limb of a tree and his unconscious body was left in a runaway
rig which was brought him into town safely now he's come to see his friend
buckskin who's in bed last picture top row buckskin says hey sounds like you
had a running with a chameleon Hoppy replies now a chameleon is a lizard that
can change color to match his surroundings buckskin continues yep and
it's two-legged lizard hides behind a thousand disguises no witness has ever
described him the same way twice all started shortly after you went away he
tells Hoppy that one day a flashily dressed passenger held up a bank
messenger aboard an inbound stage a little later an old-timer with battered
clothes held up Moss Briggs general store two nights later a tall stranger
set fire to a neighbor's barns and made off with 50 head of first-prize horses
buckskin goes on first picture bottom row well things got so bad a citizen's
protective league was formed by a newcomer named Simon grief to safeguard
folks and some of us didn't feel like paying for protection that the law owes
us then last week I was shouting a leg while bringing in the bar 20 payroll
it'll delay my trip to Wyoming for a spell Hoppy nods and says well the next
log may permanently delay it buck that moment last picture a bullet crashes
through the window and plows into the bed board just an inch above buckskin's
head
goodness gracious me happy was awfully close to being right if that shot it hit
buckskin he would not have gone to Wyoming I should say not my so dark
outside I don't see how they can find out who shot it oh that shot is as
mysterious as all of the holdups that buckskin has been telling Hoppy about
well I hope that hoppy finds out who the chameleon is pretty soon if he goes
around shooting through windows yes well now oh now now can we go over the page
where we'll find Prince Valiant I bet you we certainly can I bet you see I win
I was right here he is and today Prince Valiant's going hunting and he's gonna
take our for long I'm sad nice young boy who's so faithful to that yes now let's
see what kind of a hunting trip they have here we go with Prince Valiant in
the days of King Arthur heck it break it Grey Malkin and quince music romantic
for a fair fair prince
Val are from the servant leading a pack horse are heading into the hills for the
farther borders of fuel last picture top row he comes to the distant outposts
the wall that guards the country and there at the watchtower they're greeted
by the guards who are grateful that their Prince would come and share their
lonely watch
and then they continue on their way rain begins to fall all day it falls they
ride through hills that are filled with mist and as the rain bears down the
streams are filled to overflowing and the waters rush more rapidly to the sea
the hunters come to a river which they must cross first picture second row Val
knows the danger of rising water and he approaches a Ford cautiously probing the
bottom of the stream with his staff making sure it's not too deep to cross
safely and then they begin to make the crossing when they're in midstream
suddenly they see a huge tree carried swiftly at them by the rushing waters
last picture second row the guide shouts a warning
a useless warning for the horses belly deep in the turgid flood cannot leap away
from the approaching doom and in a second the tree crashes into them last
picture the guide who was last in the water and closes the shore escapes and
crawls the shore in time to see Prince valiant and are from the animals being
swept to the edge of a waterfall and he stares horrified as he sees them
disappear in the awful tumult
yes who would have thought it it just goes to show that sometimes the worst
enemy of all is nature the wind and the rain and the storm and that's something
people can't fight at all when it becomes real hard to say not when nature
goes on the rampage it's worse than wild animals or wild men yes and Val
certainly finding that out I hope he doesn't get carried over that waterfall
because there are rocks below and they might get killed on I hope he doesn't
either but we'll find that out next week now let's turn over the page and see
who's there oh here on page page five is flash Gordon yes sir flash Gordon and
he's having trouble fighting nature too yes he's trying to save the chief city
of Mars from a flood he had dived out of the rocket ship into the water to set an
explosion so he could blow up a channel for the water to escape yes that's right
but then Queen Manta refuses to pick flash up and she left him in the water
to die but then Dale was awfully smart and she got the Queen's gun away from her
and she's making them bring the ship back to save flash because he's
unconscious in the water yes but what's worse flash is being attacked by a whip
sharp a fish almost as big as a whale so let's read please and we'll see if Dale
saves very well here we go with flash Gordon riga riga dune dune sasker matash
let's have music for heroic flash
while Dale anxiously cruises above the Martian floodwater searching for flash
flash is suddenly jolted back to consciousness by the powerful lunge of
an attacking whip shot though still dazed flash instinctively fights for
his life last picture top row Dale sees flash she orders the pilot to fly down
and rescue him but first picture bottom row in her concern over flash's plight
Dale relaxes her vigilance against the enemies that are back suddenly the
ruthless Queen's springs forward and Dale is hurled bodily out of the cockpit
straight toward the whip sharks crashing tentacles
and sees her chance for a complete triumph over the hated intruders from the
earth taking over the steering control she issues a terse order to the pilot
throw the other Earthman to the shark too but young link is rapidly shaking off
the effects of the neutral race shock and last picture mustering all his
strength link springs into furious action in a desperate effort to rescue
his friends as link of the pilot fight savagely within the cramped quarters of
the scout ships they shatter the instrument panel short-circuiting the
power beams there was a shower of sparks and a craft begins a sickening plunge
toward the waters below
why didn't they'll be more careful she was just about to rescue flash when
Queen Menda pushed her out of the ship why wasn't she more careful I feel the
same way now things are in a terrible state yes now the ships been broken and
it's falling to the water how will they escape if it's destroyed that's something
we'll have to wait until next week to find out but now let's turn over the page
and see if we can find something to take your worries away from flash and Dale
very well then we'll read this funny here we go with Donald Duck and say the
magic words with me squeeze them squeeze them squitty chicken chat let's have
music today Donald's nephews Louie Huey and Dewey are trying to make up their
minds about what to do Louie says hey let's go skating Dewey who's reading a
comic book reply no I don't feel like skating you we who's dashing around the
floor of its shadow boxing with a fierce look in his face says hey you know what I
feel like fighting Louie says cheerfully hey now that you mentioned it so do I
Dewey puts down his comic book and says twice as cheerfully me too
Huey says okay let's go down the street they go
fierce looks on their faces and the fists all doubled up they head for the
Kelly's house that Huey says lefty Kelly is always ready to fight and Louie
replies
last picture top row the hammer on the Kelly door so hard they knock it open
lefty's mother runs to the door and Huey snarls lefty's mother answers I'm sorry
boys but lefty has the measles now what do you know yeah the sissy giving into
the measles come on let's go down the street they go heading for a little
tough Mike's but Mike's gone to visit his grandmother so down the street they
go heading for Patti Jones oh he's not home it's his dancing lesson today
that's right so they go looking for Sammy Bremer but he's at a Boy Scout
meeting so fourth picture bottom row as the boys go down the street Huey frowns
at Louie and says well I guess you know what this means
Louie replies yeah we know Louie hits Dewey Huey hits Dewey Dewey hits Huey and
the feathers really fly
wait until Donald sees their torn clothes no they'll just have to take it and like
it they don't mind getting hurt when they're fighting why should they mind
if they're paddled yes I think I know what you mean but now let's go past the
Lone Ranger turn over the page to the very last page of the first section and
I'll read that in just a moment but first here's that nice man with something
interesting to say
now here we go again with Puck the comic weekly and on the last page of the first
section Dick's Adventures and say them with me please
rickety-pac-a-zack-a-zick let's have music for Adventurist Dick
Dick is on an expedition into the wilderness in the early days of America
with Captains Lewis and Clark after spending the winter on the edge of the
Missouri River near what is now Bismarck North Dakota they're preparing to
continue their journey up the Wild River the Indian maiden who had saved the
lives of Dick and his friends by stopping the Indian Braves from
attacking the white men once Captains Lewis and Clark to take her and her
husband and a little papoose along with them but Captain Lewis doesn't want to
take them along however as the men get aboard their boat
Dick sees the Indian maiden with the papoose strapped to her back coming to the boat
instantly Dick is in love with a little papoose the tiny Indian baby and he goes
over to the two captains hey Captain Lewis Captain Clark the bird woman
insists on trailing along with us and she claims she knows his country all the
way up to the Rockies Captain sees the eager look in Dick's face and he shrugs
well all right all right let her come along Dick but how can she travel with
that pair of poos of hers we got a thousand miles of wilderness ahead of us
long journey began last picture top row we find them underway carried forward by
the wind which fills their sails and by the men who pushed their boat forward
with long pulls and day after day mile after mile the party continues up the
Missouri which grows wilder and more turbulent as they cross the border into
what will one day be the state of Montana
several weeks later on a sunny afternoon as the men relax in the camp they make
alongside the river Dick is entertaining the little papoose when suddenly a bear
walks into camp instantly the men seize their rifles and fire at it
last picture second row the gigantic bear is pumped full of lead but still a
charge is maddened with pain and rage first page of autumn row it comes
straight at dick who is holding the papoose in his arms there is no time for
guns to be reloaded dick takes the fastest way out over the cliff he pauses
one second and leaps into the air plunging straight down as the men stare
in horror he lands in soft mud and water at the edge of the river and is safe a
minute later the Indian maiden and Captain Lewis come toward them and Dick
says last picture well I guess we made it kid you can smile now here comes your
mommy
that was a wonderful high jump and you have to be very brave to jump from that
high yes you do that was quick thinking on Dick's part yes I love this
adventures so many exciting yes many exciting things happen to the pioneers
who explored and settled this country but now look below Dick's adventures very
well my lady get up and run till the road is dusty give us music for his
horse and rusty sir Percival and knobs two crooked Englishmen who have pretended
to be respectable persons had been visiting at the milestone farm while Mr.
Miles took sir Percival to dinner at the country club knobs slipped back to the
farm and stole the valuable trophies from mr. miles safe the two boys Rusty
and Pete had seen knobs and trailed him in Pete's car which he wasn't supposed
to drive because he's too young to have a license detectives have been called in
on the case and they have found the tools under the library window where sir
Percival had told rusty to leave them and then text tells mr. miles that rusty
and Pete are gone the detective looks at mr. miles and says well mr. miles I
guess that about wraps it up the way that wall safe was pried open with that
wrecking bar and looks like an amateur job and those two kids taking it on the
lamb in her car well that's it and the officer in uniform adds here all we got
to do now is to put out a general alarm to pick them up they can't get far mr.
miles shakes his head saying I can't believe it inspector I feel that it is
merely a coincidence that the boys are gone the officer says I I know how you
feel sir and I'm afraid it's just wishful thinking on your part anyhow the labs
report on the fingerprints and the cold chisel and pinched barrel cinch it well
I I'll have to have positive proof gentlemen however the boys should be
picked up by I I for bad young Peters to take that car out on the highway a
little later last picture top row in Texas room mr. miles and Tex are talking
things over mr. miles says takes if this matter concerned rusty alone nothing in
the world would convince me he'd steal but young Peters after all how well do
we know him a boss that young Stu was a spoiled brat when he came here but he's
like a new lad since he's had rusty for a pal but don't worry we'll soon have
him back
meanwhile first picture bottom row on the highway knobs and sir Percival
approach an old old abandoned house the car slows down as knob says here's the
place I had mine first is old deserted house sir Percival replies no excellent
now babe we can hide the route there then return these rented car to the owners
they turn off the road and slowly approach the old house some distance back
on the highway Pete and rusty and Pete's car are still trailing sir Percival
Rusty's claims hey hold it Pete they turn into the driveway that old house
Pete says okay I'll hide this car behind that barn then we'll follow
a little later Pete and rusty have hidden their car behind to lean to rusty
standing behind the shed has been watching he says they took that bundle
in the old house now they're coming out keeping the shadows Pete about this time
in the police lab last picture in town the detective asked the fingerprint
expert anything to report on the prints on that pinch bar and cold chisel the
expert replies yes inspector good clear prints on both of them and they match
the prints on the brush and comb taken from rusty Riley's room guess he's your
pigeon
Oh that's sir Percival I can choke him it's all his fault that they think rusty
Riley's to blame because he told rusty to put the tools under the window and
then he wouldn't let knobs touch those tools you remember I remember very well
and you haven't forgotten the thing oh how could I forget when a grown man
tries to make it look like a nice little boy would steal something that's the meanest
thing I know I think you're right I hope rusty comes back home soon and tells
Tex and mr. Miles where the thieves have hidden his soul and stuff and then Tex
will just fix everyone good we'll find that out next week now let's go to the
second section of Puck the comic weekly yes now here we go on the second section
of the first page with Dagwood and blondie I'm a food I'm a fumsims and
zombie conjuring music for Dagwin and blondie
you get my brush I get now that's mine blondie rushes in and tells Dagwood our
children are quarreling again it goes on all the time
Dagwood shakes his head how can we teach him that brothers and sisters should
love each other and not quarrel last picture topper Oh blondie is struck by a
wonderful idea you and I act as though we're having a fight a good idea and
then we'll see what a horrible thing it is for members of the family to fight
first picture second row blondie says now remember dear we're just doing this for
our children and that I love you oh I understand now don't hold back we want
this to look real just then cookie comes into the room Dagwood seeing her gives
blondie a shove and yells so you'll use my fountain pen again huh
cookie dashes into the kitchen where Alexander is making a sandwich I can't
believe it not I'm mother and father they love each other both the kids come
into the living room where blondie is beating up on dad they hear blondie say
and then they see blondie take a chair and break it over Dagwood's head cookie
yells and as cookie her blondie stands above the unconscious body of Dagwood
first pick the bottom row Alexander says and you and daddy shouldn't fight mama
it's not right we just pretended so you could see how terrible fighting really
is and Alexander drops to his knees and says I promise you I'll always be real
sweet to my sister and cookie drops to her knees and says we've learned our
lesson mama last picture they carry poor beaten up Dagwood to the sofa and
blondie says I'll get some bandages and Alexander says admiringly hey mom you've
got a peach of a right and Dagwood groans yeah I'd hate to get in a real
fight with her
my goodness look at Dagwood he's almost broken to pieces yes blondie certainly does have a good
right the way she hit Dagwood on the jaw you'd think she learned to fight from
Joe Lewis yes didn't they look awful fighting like that? they did and I hope Alexander and Cookie remember the lesson they just learned
so do I it's not nice to fight well I'm glad to know that you don't think it is no I don't like to fight when I see children fighting it just makes me so mad I could spank them
more mm-hmm well now look underneath Roy Rogers oh let's read that because Roy is a wonderful fighter too I thought you don't like to see people fight oh well it's different with Roy's fights he only fights bad men yes that's different Roy received a message last week so let's find out what that message was about here we go with Roy Rogers
ayip ayo now here we go with Roy and Trigger ayip ayo Roy has received a
message to come to the Bunyan logging camp he stops on a hill and sees in the
valley below some shacks and he says well I reckon that's the Bunyan logging camp
Trigger we better get down there and find Wildwood or Dow suddenly there's a shot and
the twig Roy is holding between his teeth is cut in two Roy turns around and
sees a girl stepping from behind a tree Roy shakes his head and says I should
have known that was your shooting Wildwood hey where'd you pop from last
picture top row as they start walking down the hill together Roy asks and what
are you doing up here in the timber country Wildwood tells Roy she's
working for her aunt who runs the logging camp and that there's been a lot
of accidents lately so many accidents that her aunt can't deliver logs to the
sawmill and poor Wildwood guesses that that means that she can't make enough
money and then they hear the sound of an axe and ahead of them they see a man
chopping a tree and then they see Wildwood's aunt come up to the man take
the axe away and swing at the tree herself and then they hear her say you
blasted blueberries and all the likes. Whoa it's black strapped molasses I'll show you how to fell this big one.
And then the tree begins to fall. It falls directly towards where Roy and Wildwood are. Roy leaps in the sand and grabs Wildwood yelling.
Hey come on Trigger move!
Last picture Pauline yells. Hey watch out you two! It's a sidewinder! He'll get mashed to pulp!
Oh that's terribly dangerous. That tree is falling right towards them. Right for them and it's almost on top of them.
Do you think they'll ever get away in time? I'm afraid we'll have to wait until next week to find that out.
Why do they always do this to me? If they'd only draw one more picture we could see.
Yes isn't that too bad but don't worry too much remember that Trigger is a very very fast horse and maybe he'll jump away just in time.
Now that's all the time I have but before I go here's that fellow with some more interesting information.
Well honey and all you boys and girls I gotta go now.
Alright Mr. Comic Wiggly Man but I'll be waiting for you next week.
Okay that's a date and a date with all you boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with our little friend Miss Honey next week when I read Pup the Comic Wiggly.
For I'm the Comic Wiggly Man, the jolly Comic Wiggly Man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys.
Don't forget boys and girls see you all next week. Your friend the Comic Wiggly Man, the jolly Comic Wiggly Man.