I'm the Comic Weekly man, the jolly Comic Weekly man, and I'm here to read the funnies to you
happy boys and honeys.
Yes, boys and girls, it's Comic Weekly time.
And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness.
Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend
the Comic Weekly man, the jolly Comic Weekly man.
Hello, hello, hello, hello.
Hello, hello, hello, hello.
Well, little Miss Honey, how are you today?
Oh, I'm just fine, thank you.
And I'm very anxious.
I'll bet I can guess why.
You're right.
It's what you told me about last week, about the new Walt Disney story.
Ah-ha, you didn't forget.
No, I should say not because Walt Disney stories are always wonderful.
Yes, you bet they are.
And today we're going to begin another story in those wonderful Walt Disney colors, a story
called The Sword and the Rose.
What's it about?
Well, we'll start reading it pretty quick, but I'll give you a hint.
It's set in the early days of England about the year 1514 when King Henry was King of England.
Is it about knights because it says sword?
Yes, it's back in the days when knighthood was in flower and brave men fought for the
hand of beautiful women.
I can't wait.
Well, then we better get started right away.
Yes, please click reading the fun.
Puck the Comic Weekly.
Very well, I'll read that in just a moment.
But before I do, let's listen to this nice man.
Now here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly and on the first page under bringing up Father
Beetle Bailey.
Magic words for the music, please.
Very well, my lady.
Toot me a toot and tweet me a tweetle.
Squeeze out music for Bailey the Beetle.
The boys at the army camp are really fed up with the way the army life has run.
They're tired of parades, of having to be on duty all the time and of not having the
kind of fun they'd like to have.
And so they've made up a list of protests and suggestions which they intend to hand
in to the sergeant.
Beetle is writing up the list.
His friend Killer says, I bet the sergeant won't even read our list of gripes and suggestions.
Beetle speaks up like a hero.
We have a right to speak our minds.
And Private Zero, who always does whatever Beetle does, makes a long speech agreeing
with Beetle.
He says, yeah.
Beetle stands up with the completed list of suggestions.
There are some very level-headed suggestions here.
Third picture top row, Beetle enters the sergeant's office ready to shove the list of suggestions
under the sergeant's nose.
But the place is empty.
Oh darn it, he's not in.
Last picture top row, Beetle lays the sheets of suggestions on the desk.
I'll just leave the list here on his clipboard or he'll be sure to find it.
Hup, do, ay, ho, hup, do, ay, ho, keep it lined there, soldier.
What do you think this is, a conga line?
Hup, do, ay, ho.
As the men are being put through their drills, the sergeant is standing aside talking to
the captain.
Do you have some orders for today, sir?
The captain replies, yes, yes.
I left the list on your clipboard.
Yes, sir.
I'll have them carried out immediately, sir.
The sergeant goes into his office.
He picks up the sheet of paper attached to his clipboard and starts to read it.
No more voices.
Let the men make sure they are served.
By this time, the sergeant is practically rolly-eyed.
If I didn't have 15 years to retirement, I'd tear up these orders and go AWOL.
Last picture.
The captain hears music and the sound of a party.
He looks across the parade ground and sees something he's never seen in the army.
His soldiers are having a picnic.
Their guns are dumped in the ash can.
A needle is lying on the ground and over him stands a beautiful blonde dropping grapes
in his mouth.
Zero and Killer are being served ice cream sodas by another beautiful blonde.
And the sergeant is tied to a post, his shirt ripped off, and one of the soldiers stands
behind him with a long whip, ready to give the sergeant 10 lashes on the bare back.
The captain exclaims, well, what's going on here?
The sergeant exclaims, you mean these aren't your orders, sir?
No, no, no.
But don't stop, don't stop.
This is better than what I ordered.
Oh, miss, may I have a grape, please?
Wasn't that funny?
When the sergeant went to his desk to get the captain's orders, he didn't see them
because Beetle had put his suggestions on top of the captain's.
The sergeant didn't take the trouble to look at the page underneath, and so he went ahead
and carried out all of Beetle's suggestions, thinking he was carrying out the captain's
orders.
Well, I'll bet you those soldiers were surprised to find that the sergeant put them through
orders, giving them such a good time.
I'll bet they were, too.
Oh, that Beetle, he's some fellow.
Yes, that Beetle, he's some fellow.
Now we'll start that new Walt Disney story straight from the treasury of classic tales.
Turn over the page, go past Little Iodine and Prince Val.
Turn over that page.
And here on page four is our new story, The Sword and the Rose, from the famous adventure
novel When Knighthood Was in Flower.
It's Merry, Merry England, When Knighthood Was in Flower.
Music to bewitch our story hour.
We're at Windsor Castle in the year 1514, almost 450 years ago.
This is the court of King Henry VIII, one of the most famous kings of England.
A famous wrestling match is in progress.
King Henry has matched his best wrestlers against the champions of France.
This was the day when lords and ladies enjoyed sports and when the lords themselves participated
in them the way that a schoolboy does today.
The Duke of Buckingham, one of King Henry's favorites, is wrestling a Marquis from France.
The Duke sticks out his foot, seizes the wrist of the champion, expertly gives him a flip
and the Frenchman spins over and falls to the ground defeated.
Bravo, bravo, well done, my lord.
The Duke of Buckingham stands up in triumph over the fallen Frenchman.
Last picture top row, all eyes are on the victorious Duke.
All except those of Mary Tudor, sister of the King.
Her gaze is centered on the man at the Duke's side.
Charles Brandon, gentleman adventurer, just returned from the foreign wars.
And now at her suggestion, Henry issues a command.
Oh, Master Brandon, let's see how you would fare against the mighty Buckingham.
Brandon looks very surprised to hear the King ask him, an ordinary soldier, to wrestle the
famous Duke.
But Brandon quickly strips down to his tights, then steps into the ring.
He approaches the Duke, watching him carefully.
Suddenly the Duke leaps forward, with a quick blow, shoves his elbow into Brandon's throat,
and he seizes Brandon in an armlock.
Well done, well done.
Brandon slips out of the armlock, gets the Duke off balance, lifts him on his shoulders,
spins him around and throws him to the ground.
Well done, well executed.
As the crowd roars, Brandon bows humbly to the Duke, saying respectfully, may it please
your grace.
Last picture, King Henry applauds.
Well done, fellow.
You're a credit to England.
And then the King's sister, Mary, says softly to the King, Master Brandon would make a handsome
captain of the guards.
Uh, yes, yes.
And so he shall be.
And so Charles Brandon makes an auspicious entry into the court of Henry VIII.
Ooh, that's an exciting story.
I thought you'd like it.
I do.
Wasn't that a good idea, the King's sister?
Oh yes, it was.
I think that Mary might be falling in love with Brandon.
You mean love at first sight?
Looks like it could be.
Ooh, and just because Brandon defeated the famous Duke in the wrestling match, is he
going to be captain of the guards?
Hmm, he will.
And next week we'll probably see that happen.
Ooh, that's wonderful.
I just can't wait.
Well, neither can I, but we're going to have to.
Well, now let's go across the page, past the Lone Ranger.
Turn over that page, go across page six, and there on page seven is Roy Rogers.
Oh yes, and you remember Roy Rogers had met his old friend Wildwood O'Dowd, he's a cowgirl,
and J. Lucian Dangerfield, who's the owner of a carnival.
And the sheriff had taken charge of the carnival because the railroad payroll had been stolen.
And the trail of the crooks led straight to the carnival.
Naturally, because one of the crooks who works at the carnival is a man named Mike Cole,
and he's one of the crooks.
And I'm worried because Roy has suspicions about Mike Cole, and he's going to go into
Mike Cole's tent to talk to him.
And Mike Cole heard Roy talking to Wildwood through the tent wall, and he's waiting for
Roy with a gun.
I wouldn't do what will happen.
Well, let's read and find out.
Here we go with Roy Rogers, king of the cowboys.
Ayip-ay-o, now here we go with Roy and Trigger.
Ayip-ay-o.
As Dangerfield wonders what to do about this grave situation, Roy is inside Mike Cole's
tent searching for the stolen payroll.
Third picture top row, Cole snorts.
Hey, you got a nerve, Rogers, going through my stuff.
I've been laid up ever since Nellie the tiger clawed me.
I had nothing to do with stealing that railroad payroll.
Well, all right, then.
You got nothing to worry about then, Mike.
Last picture top row, Roy suddenly exclaims, uh-huh, my hunch paid off.
Here's the stolen railroad strong box.
Well, that won't prove anything, Rogers.
First picture bottom row, Roy turns to Cole, holding up the empty box.
Well, the money's gone, Cole.
You transferred it to one of the balloon ballast bags before you got hurt.
Finally, Cole draws his gun from under the bandage that holds his injured arm.
All right, drop that box, Rogers.
You figured right, but you won't live the squeal on me.
Roy swiftly swings the metal box, knocking the gun out of Cole's hand.
Now you'll do some squealing, Mike.
I'll blast you.
And quickly, Roy picks up the gun and standing over, Cole says, all right, now talk, Cole.
Who were the men out on the plains who grabbed the ballast bag with the money when the balloon
landed?
Lay off, Rogers.
Lay off.
I'll spill it.
At that moment outside of the tent, third picture bottom row, the other two crooks, Ham
and Smiley, are standing listening.
They've heard everything that's happened.
Smiley says, hey, I reckon we got here just in time, Ham.
Last picture, Ham, who is the leader, points to the tiger cage.
All right, come on, Smiley.
We'll let Nellie the tiger take care of them too in the tent, and it'll look like an accident.
Oh, isn't that awful?
Just when it looked like Roy was in control of the situation, the other two crooks were
coming to Mike Cole's tent to talk to him, and now they've heard everything that went
on.
Yes, and now they're going to turn the tiger loose, hoping the tiger will kill both Mike
Cole and Roy.
Mike, do you think that will happen?
Well, we'll find out about that next week.
Now let's turn over the page.
And here on the last page of the first section is Flash Gordon.
Yes, you remember?
Flash is starting a new expedition to a new planet.
Yes, the planet Titan, a mysterious place that not very much is known about.
That's why they're sending Flash there.
Yes.
And you remember that Flash had told Dale not to come along because it was dangerous.
But when the rocket ship was up in the air, he found Dale was hiding on the ship.
So Dale is going along now because it's too late to turn back.
Yes, and she saw some giant handcuffs, and she's wondering what kind of people they expect
to find on the planet, and I've been wondering too.
Well, let's read now and see if we can find out anything about this mysterious planet.
Here we go with Flash Gordon.
Riggidiggadoondoon, saskam attach, let's set music for heroic flash.
Dale looks at the equipment on the rocket ship, the pistols, rifles, huge handcuffs,
and she wonders what they expect to find on Titan.
Flash Stammers, we don't know, honey.
We've had some rather odd reports, and well, we want to be prepared.
The pilot exclaims, don't know my eye.
Why we know enough to know we have no room for nosy females.
All right, all right, stow it, Midas.
Don't tell me to stow it, Gordon.
I'll say what I please.
Suddenly, the observer exclaims, Titan.
Quickly, everybody snaps to their stations.
Last picture top row, the observer points at a large globe in space.
Look, look, there it is.
Titan, dead on course.
Quickly, Flash orders, man your stations.
Get ready to fire number one rocket tube.
Stand by.
A moment later, they come in for a landing.
First picture bottom row switches their throne.
Reverse rockets roar, and the huge ship slowly settles.
Flash is the first to emerge from the rocket ship.
Titan, just like back on Earth.
As Flash starts to clamor down, Midas starts to come down saying, and I shall be the first
Earthman to set foot on it.
Hold it.
Now listen, Gordon, what's up?
You just missed my head.
Last picture, Flash picks up an insect as large as a 10 pound lobster.
Yes, but I didn't miss this.
And that's the size of a Gila monster.
We'll sleep inside the ship tonight.
I don't think I like that, Midas.
I'm not sure that I do either.
He looks like a troublemaker.
Yes, he does.
This must be a very strange planet.
They find ants as big as lobsters.
Yeah, and if that's so, I wonder how big the people there are.
I wonder too.
Well, maybe we'll find out more about that next week.
Now it's time to pick up the second section of the Comic Weekly.
Oh yes, and there's that funny Dagwood.
And we'll find out what happens to that funny Dagwood in just a moment.
But first here's that nice man again with something interesting to say.
Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly.
And on the first page of the second section, Dagwood and Blondie.
Maddy Grits for the music, please.
Very well, my lady.
Ramaphoo, ramaphum, zim zam zombie.
Conjure me music for Dagwood and Blondie.
Maddy says to Dagwood, Dagwood, our lady's neighborhood club is having a meeting at Mrs.
McNuff's house tonight.
Really?
Dagwood says, oh boy, all the wives of the meeting and all the husbands home alone.
What an opportunity for a game.
And by the time you can go, Dagwood's at Herb Woodley's door, last picture top row.
Game starts at my house right away.
Come on Herb.
Fine, I'll be there.
And down the street Dagwood goes from one house to the other.
Come on boys, game's at my house.
To the Jones' house, to the Lewis' house, to the Allen's house, to the Serkills' house.
Boy, I feel like Paul Revere gathering the Minutemen.
And last picture second row, he's back home in the kitchen sawing away at a chunk of meat.
This will make me the most popular man in the neighborhood.
I'll make up a stack of sandwiches.
First picture third row, Herb and the rest of the men come into the living room.
There stands a table with chairs around it and cards and poker chips all ready out.
Fine chairs boys.
Everything's ready for the game.
Boy, oh boy, for once we can have a game without being caught by the women.
Over at the McNuff house where all the women are gathered for their meeting, Mrs. McNuff
comes downstairs and exclaims, oh blondie bad news, my little Cynthia's come down with
a mumps.
Oh how terrible Mrs. McNuff.
What'll we do?
Well, could we gather at your house?
Why of course, just bring all the girls there.
First picture bottom row, at the Bumstead house the boys are playing poker.
I'll bid ten cents.
I'll make it fifteen cents.
Suddenly the door opens and in walk the women.
So sweet of you to invite us blondie.
The men take one look.
Hey, our wives.
And out the window they go.
Out of my way.
Go me first.
Look out, let me out of here.
At last picture they dash down the street throwing things at Dagwood.
He's out front trying to get away from them.
As the bricks hit Dagwood he moans, oh I wish I had Paul Revere's horse now.
Poor Dagwood, look what happened to him.
Those men have all turned on him as though it were his fault.
Yes, how did he know that Mrs. McNuff's baby would come down with a mumps?
Well, I guess the women don't like to have their husbands play cards.
No I guess they don't.
They certainly found that out.
Yes, they certainly found that out.
Well now let's turn over the page.
All right.
Oh look, there's my favorite favorite, Brer Rabbit.
Yes, Brer Rabbit.
Please read that.
I'm most certain they will.
So here we go with Uncle Remus and his tales of Brer Rabbit.
Say the magic words with me.
Hippity hoppity, make it a habit to give us music for old Brer Rabbit.
Uncle Remus says, sometimes Brer Rabbit is a bigger goose than Mr. Goose.
Today Brer Rabbit is walking down the road.
And he hears a voice behind him.
Oh Brer Rabbit, wait up, wait up.
I've got a new trick to show you.
It's Mr. Goose.
Brer Rabbit stops and Mr. Goose waddles up.
Yep, yep, I just invented a brand new one.
I want to show you first.
Well, what is it?
You promise us that you won't tell nobody.
Yeah, I promise you.
What's the trick Mr. Goose?
First picture top row, Brer Goose announces solemnly the flying money trick.
Now has you got a two dollar bill?
A two dollar bill?
Yeah.
Oh sure.
Well, you give it to me and I'll show you.
Okie dokie.
First picture bottom row, Brer Goose takes the two dollar bill.
Now the first thing I does is fold the bill so it looks like a butterfly.
Oh, I see.
And then he's going to make it fly, huh?
Second picture bottom row, Brer Goose holds it up saying, hey I see, a butterfly.
Yeah, but it ain't flying.
Brer Goose says, well now Brer Rabbit, I is making the money fly.
And he leaps in the air and flies off with Brer Rabbit's money.
Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.
And last picture, Brer Rabbit stands in the road watching Brer Goose disappear in the
distance.
Uh oh.
I is being outfoxed by a goose.
And Uncle Remus says, the fool spends a lot of time practicing.
Uh oh, Brer Rabbit really was outfoxed.
Yes, he thought that Brer Goose was going to show him a trick that he could play on
other people.
And instead the trick was played on Brer Rabbit.
Yep, that was one time Brer Rabbit got fooled.
Well now I'm sure you'd like to see what's happening to Dick in the early days of America.
Oh yes, I would.
Okay well then let's turn to the very last page of the Comic Weekly.
And here we are with Dick's Adventure.
And you remember that Dick is in the early days of America.
Yes, the year 1807.
And you remember that he and his friend Sarah were going to a party at Robert Livingston's
house.
And they were riding along the river when all of a sudden they saw a steamboat sending
up clouds of smoke and fire.
And this is something that no one had ever seen in those days because at that time all
of the ships were sailing vessels.
And this boat was Robert Fulton's new invention.
It was the first steamboat.
That's right.
And Dick and Sarah hurried down to where the boat had pulled in at the dock.
Now please read.
I'd like to find out what happened to it.
All right here we go with Dick's Adventure.
Say the magic words with me.
Riggity-pack-a-zack-a-zick.
Let's have music for adventurous Dick.
A large crowd has gathered around the boat.
Robert Fulton is all set to take the boat on a test run.
He looks at Dick and says, well step aboard, Dick.
And in a second everybody's aboard.
And so begins for Dick a never to be forgotten voyage up the Hudson River in the year 1807.
As they get underway, last picture top row, Dick walks around the strange looking craft.
It's powered by steam from a wood-burning boiler.
Two big gears turn cumbersome side paddles which shower the deck with water.
An elegant company of ladies and gentlemen are aboard.
Robert Fulton proudly points first picture second row at the most beautiful girl on the
ship.
And then he says to Dick, Dick, if all goes well and we reach New York again, Harriet Livingston
promises to be my bride.
Oh gosh.
I hope you make it.
Last picture second row, that night the Clermont, for that's the name of the boat, puffing fire
and smoke reaches Albany and half the voyage is done.
First picture bottom row, next morning the return voyage gets underway.
But almost immediately trouble starts.
In sight of the crowds lining both banks, the monster, as so many people call it, comes
to a dead stop.
Last picture, Robert Fulton's elegant passenger's murmur.
Well, I told you so.
Yes, it's a foolish scheme.
Oh, I wish we were out of it.
And Dick looks uneasily at Fulton wondering what he's going to do.
Oh, did the steamer break down?
Well, something went out of commission.
Isn't it terrible it had to happen when everybody's there to say, I told you so.
Well, let's hope that Robert Fulton corrects what's wrong and gets the ship underway again.
Do you think he will?
We'll find that out next week.
But now look below Dick's adventures.
There's Rusty Riley.
Oh yes, and this I'm very anxious to read because you remember last week Tex came to
the Dooley farm where Rusty was.
And yes, he came there to buy a horse called Silver Lad for Mr. Miles.
And was he surprised when he saw Rusty was here on the farm?
Yes, and I hope now that Tex will take Rusty back to the Milestone farm because that's really
Rusty's home.
Well, let's see if he does.
Here we go with Rusty Riley.
Gallop and run till the road is dusty.
Give us music for his horse and Rusty.
That gives Rusty a big hug.
Why, Rusty, you little maverick, am I glad to see you.
Cheaper's Tex had sure ghosts for me too.
Well, what in Sam Hill are you doing here?
Well, you see, when Denver Dooley closed his carnival, he sent me here to look after
his two horses.
The detective who had found Silver Lad for Mr. Miles smiles, well, I see I don't have
to introduce you two.
Oh, no sirree.
Listen, mister, my boss, Mr. Miles, will be happier to get Rusty back than to get ten
horses like Silver Lad.
Yeah, but Tex, golly, I can't go back.
Tex looks at Rusty in surprise.
Last picture to our parole, Rusty exclaims, I guess you're forgetting I left Milestone
farm on account of my crook and Uncle Rufus looking for me there.
No, I ain't forgetting, son.
With that horned toad as a settin' in a nice Kentucky jail.
And he won't be troubling anybody for some years.
Oh, that's a relief.
Then first picture bottom row, Rusty points the horses out to Tex.
Oh, they're the horses, Tex.
They were half-starred when I first came, but they're beginning to look much better.
Well, we'll have them in good shape in no time.
Mr. Miles wants to enter Silver Lad in the Lexington Junior League horse show.
And then Tex turns to the detective.
Oh, Clinton, here's a certified chick.
You go to the bank and sew up the deal while Rusty and I get the horses in the van.
Right, Mr. Purdy?
I'll be back with the papers and sign an arm.
Meanwhile, at a small farm near Lexington, Kentucky, third picture bottom row, two men
are talking.
Well, boss, it looks like Quentin Miles beat us to that nag Silver Lad.
I just got it by the grapevine that a private eye named Clinton found him.
And Miles' trainer is going after him.
Here, wait a second.
Slow up.
Where is the horse?
How'd you find out?
Last picture, the first man says, I know a cutie who runs a switchboard in Clinton's
home office.
She did a little listening in.
It's a village in Pennsylvania called Honey Hollow.
The man who seems to be the boss says, hmm, get a pensy roadmap.
You and Porky got yourself a job.
Isn't it wonderful that Rusty's crooked uncle can't cause Rusty any more trouble?
It certainly is.
And now Rusty can go back to Milestone Farm again where he belongs.
Yes, but it looks like those two men down there are planning something that looks like
trouble to me.
Yes, well, we'll find out about that next week.
Now that's all the time I have.
But before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information.
Well Honey and all you boys and girls, I've got to go now.
All right, Mr. Comic Weekly Man, but I'll be waiting for you next week.
Okay, that's a date.
And a date with all you boys and girls.
Be sure to meet me with our little friend Miss Honey next week when I read Puck the Comic
Weekly.
For I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man.
I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys.
Don't forget boys and girls, see you all next week.
Your friend, the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man.
Bye.