The strange Dr. Weird.
Good evening. Come in, won't you?
Why, what's the matter? You seem a bit nervous, pale and distraught.
Perhaps a story would help calm your nerves.
Yes, a delightful little story about a dead man who acts just as if he were alive.
I know you like it. I call it, He Woke Up Dead.
My story, He Woke Up Dead, begins with two men pacing back and forth at the top of a high cliff overlooking the Pacific.
They are John Raymond and his brother Gregory, a gaunt man in whose eyes screams a fanatical fire.
Gregory, the answer is no. You're asking for a hundred thousand dollars from the Raymond Foundation to spend on fake yogis and swamis, trying to get in touch with the dead.
Well, you're not getting it.
But John, all my life I've been studying death and what is in the life beyond. And now with just a little money, I know I can penetrate its mysteries.
The Raymond Foundation would be the laughing stock of the world if it went in for such a crackpot idea.
So you think I'm a crackpot? Well, when you die, John, according to Father's will, I'll be head of the Raymond Foundation.
Then you'll see I'll turn the whole foundation into a great research laboratory to study death.
That will never be. I intend to have the courts change the will so you'll never be head of the foundation, Gregory.
No, no, you can't. You're blocking a tremendously important piece of work, but I won't let you.
So, just what can you do about it?
This, John, I can do this. No, no, no, no.
Uncle Gregory, you say Father had a dizzy spell and fell from the cliff before you could catch him?
Yes, Jack, it happened so fast. I could do nothing.
But Father never got dizzy. His health was perfect.
The groundkeeper says he saw you push Father off the cliff.
That's nonsense. I was trying to catch him, pull him back.
Jack, you know Uncle Gregory wouldn't do a thing. I'm not so sure, Susan.
Now listen to me, both of you. The coroner said your father died accidentally, and that closes the matter.
Not with me, it doesn't. No?
Well, I'm now head of the Raymond Foundation, and I'm going to pour all the resources of the foundation into an effort to contact the dead.
Well, that's insane. The foundation scientists run the verge of a cure for cancer, for tuberculosis.
You can't stop their work now. I can and I will.
Oh, no you won't. It'll stop you somehow.
Because you did murder Dad. You killed him to get control of the foundation for your crazy schemes.
Get out. Get out, both of you. Get out before I...
I can't, Jim.
Jack, he tripped on the rug. His head hit against the fireplace.
Wait. I'll see how badly he is hurt.
Jack, what is it? Is he... is he dead?
Yes, Susan. All his life, Uncle Gregory's been trying to find out what happened when you die.
Now... now he's going to find out.
Uh, Dr. Weird, before you give us the second half of tonight's tale, can you tell me why you're called doctor?
Easy. When people listen to this program, I show them how to avoid such unhealthy things as being murdered and...
Well, somehow, Doctor, I doubt whether that would cure anybody of anything, especially a case of nerves.
But I'd like to tell the men in our audience how to cure something that can be cured.
It's old hat itis, being addicted to the same old weather-beaten hat.
The only real remedy for old hat itis is to go out and get yourself a good new hat, or two or three.
Now, Adam hats are priced so sensibly, only $3.45 to $10, you'll easily be able to afford more than one.
Combining distinctively smart styles with fine quality materials and craftsmanship, Adam hats are a truly outstanding value.
You'll find it more than worth your while to discard your old headpiece for a brand new Adam hat, or two or three.
Now, back to Dr. Weird.
And now I'll continue my story. He woke up dead.
When Gregory Raymond returned to consciousness, he was alone in a great, dim room.
The thick, cloying scent of flowers was heavy in the air.
Startled, he saw at the other end of the room three coffins resting on trestles.
One of the coffins was banked with flowers and tall candles burned at either end of it.
Dazed and bewildered, Gregory Raymond strolled toward the three coffins.
This room, where am I? Stained glass windows. It's like a church.
Who's in this coffin with all the flowers on it?
Why, I... the body in this coffin is mine.
No, no, it's impossible. I'm not dead. I can't be.
You mustn't be upset, mister. Most of us feel that way at first.
Yes, we did. But it will pass soon.
What? Who are you?
Turning, Gregory Raymond was astounded to see dim figures coming toward him from the shadows.
A man and a woman, both very old. They smiled at him sympathetically.
I... I'm Joshua Benson. This is my wife, Nellie.
These are our bodies in these other two coffins.
Oh, I don't understand.
Oh, you will. Look, here in this coffin.
See? It's my body, isn't it?
It looks just like you.
It is me. The earthly me, I mean. And now this one is Nellie.
You mustn't be so upset. You'll soon be used to the idea.
We're... we're really dead? All three of us?
Why, of course. You died yesterday morning. You slipped and fell and hit your head.
Yes. Yes, I remember.
It's taken you until now to... well, to become aware of things again.
Death is a great shock, you know.
But where am I? What is this place?
This is the mortuary chapel at the cemetery.
They'll be coming for your body soon to bury it.
Joshua and I were killed two nights ago in an auto accident.
But they aren't going to bury us until tomorrow.
I... I've never dreamed death would be like this.
Why, I can still see and hear. I can breathe. My heart still beats.
Oh, not really. You're used to those things, so they let you think
there hasn't been much change until you've had a chance to get over your shock.
They? Who do you mean?
The ones in charge. You'll know more about them soon.
Mr. Benedict will be coming for us, and I expect he'll take you along, too.
Mr. Benedict? Who's he?
The guide. He stopped by last night.
Just tell us not to worry and to wait for him here.
He'll take us on to... well, to the place where we go next.
I... I see.
Shh! Someone's coming. Come back here out of the way.
Four men. And Jack and Susan.
Oh, they've come to take your body away to bury it.
All right, men. Take it easy now. That's it. All lift together.
No, no, they can't bury me. I'm not dead. I can't be.
Jack, Susan, listen to me. It's Gregory, your Uncle Gregory.
They've gone. They didn't hear me.
Because you're dead. The dead can't communicate with the living.
It just isn't possible.
But it must be. All my life I've worked to establish such communication.
Now, now I have so much to tell the world.
The people I've worked with. I must find some way to communicate with them.
I must, I must.
Are you ready?
You feeling better, Mr. Raymond?
This is Mr. Benedict. He's come for us.
Yes. It is time. We must go.
But I can't go. I've got to tell people. The people I work with.
I've worked so hard to find the truth and now, now I've...
It may not be. There can be no communication.
Now, Mr. Benson, Mrs. Benson.
Yes, sir.
It is time.
Yes, Mr. Benedict, we're ready, but Mr. Raymond here is coming with us, isn't he?
It is impossible. He is doomed to stay here on earth.
What do you mean? What are you saying?
That is your punishment.
To remain forever a spirit that moves unseen and unheard among men.
It is the punishment of all who murder and die unrepentant and unconfessed.
Oh, no.
He, he's a murderer? I can't believe it.
That is not for me to say. Come, we must be going.
No, wait. You've got to take me with you.
I can't stand it, being here, seeing, hearing as if I were alive and not able to make anybody see or hear me.
I have to go with you. I have to find out what comes next.
It may not be.
But you've got to take me. If I confess, if I repent, will that make a difference?
It may. I cannot promise.
Then I do confess. I killed my brother, John. I pushed him off the cliff.
I'm sorry now, but it seems so important then that I just had to do it.
You are confessing to your brother's murder?
Yes, yes, I killed him. I admit it. Now take me with you. You can't leave me here. You can't.
Gregory Raymond, listen to me. You're under arrest for murder. You understand?
Under arrest for murder.
What? What are you saying? I'm dead. We're all dead.
You're not dead. You're very much alive. And you're under arrest.
These two people are witnesses to your confession. Now come along with me.
No. No, you can't arrest me. Don't you understand? You can't arrest a dead man. And I'm dead. Dead! Dead!
Was Gregory Raymond dead? Or was he alive?
Well, the doctor said he was alive.
For you see, when his nephew found out that Paul had only knocked Gregory unconscious,
a strange scheme came to him.
And with the aid of three coffins and three clever wax dummies that looked exactly like corpses,
he was able to kill the man who was behind the crime.
With the aid of three coffins and three clever wax dummies that looked exactly like corpses,
plus several excellent actors, he really made his Uncle Gregory believe he was dead.
In fact, Gregory became so convinced of it that when they told him he was really alive,
he wouldn't believe them.
To this day, nothing can convince him he isn't really dead.
It's probably the strangest punishment a murderer ever had.
Though I did know another man who...
Oh, you have to go. Perhaps you'll drop in again soon.
Just look for the house on the other side of the cemetery, the house of Dr. Weird.