WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:03.600 You are about to be entertained by some of the biggest names in show business. 00:03.600 --> 00:09.500 For the next hour and 30 minutes, this program will present in person such bright stars as... 00:09.500 --> 00:10.300 Fred Allen. 00:10.300 --> 00:11.400 Mindy Carson. 00:11.400 --> 00:12.600 John Davie. 00:12.600 --> 00:13.900 Douglas Fairbanks. 00:13.900 --> 00:15.000 Bill Silvers. 00:15.000 --> 00:16.500 The Sons of the Pioneers. 00:16.500 --> 00:17.500 Margaret Truman. 00:17.500 --> 00:18.900 Meredith Wilson. 00:18.900 --> 00:21.500 And my name, darlings, is Tallulah Bankhead. 00:21.500 --> 00:37.000 The National Broadcasting Company presents... 00:37.000 --> 00:38.400 The Big Show. 00:38.400 --> 00:52.400 The Big Show. 00:52.400 --> 00:56.400 90 minutes with the most scintillating personalities in the entertainment world. 00:56.400 --> 01:03.100 Brought to you this Sunday and every Sunday at the same time as the Sunday feature of NBC's All-Star Festival. 01:03.100 --> 01:23.800 And here is your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable Tallulah Bankhead. 01:23.800 --> 01:29.100 Well, darlings, we've been doing The Big Show now for a month of Sundays. 01:29.100 --> 01:35.000 But today, with Miss Margaret Truman on the program, there's a special feeling of excitement backstage. 01:35.000 --> 01:42.200 And I suppose you all are wondering how we were able to get such a prominent personage as Miss Truman to be guest on our program. 01:42.200 --> 01:45.600 Well, really, all it took was a telephone call. 01:45.600 --> 01:53.300 I called a certain party and that party called another party, who in turn called another party. 01:53.300 --> 01:57.900 And naturally, these were all Democratic parties. 01:57.900 --> 02:02.400 Of course, some of the other performers who have never met Miss Truman are a little nervous about it. 02:02.400 --> 02:04.300 Well, not me. I'm not nervous. 02:04.300 --> 02:11.900 Joan Davies. 02:11.900 --> 02:14.800 You say you're not nervous, Joan, about meeting Margaret Truman? 02:14.800 --> 02:16.900 Well, why, be I should. 02:16.900 --> 02:18.100 I say to be nervous. 02:18.100 --> 02:19.800 About? 02:19.800 --> 02:23.300 In fact, I'm needing forward-looking-er. 02:23.300 --> 02:25.300 Oh, you're in great shape, darling. 02:25.300 --> 02:27.500 In fact, you're fabulous. 02:27.500 --> 02:32.500 Well, you're not built so hot yourself. 02:32.500 --> 02:37.900 Look, Miss Bankette, if you're really nervous about meeting Miss Truman, you can just stick close to me. 02:37.900 --> 02:40.900 I'll cover up any mistakes that you might make. 02:40.900 --> 02:43.700 You'll cover up any mistakes I make? 02:43.700 --> 02:45.700 Oh, sure. I'd just be glad to. 02:45.700 --> 02:50.700 I know how it is when you're not a celebrity and you meet a celebrity like Miss Truman. 02:50.700 --> 02:52.500 I'm sure you're bound to get nervous. 02:52.500 --> 02:55.700 But out in Hollywood, I see celebrities all the time. 02:55.700 --> 03:02.700 Yeah, well, I live right across the street from where Guy Kibbe used to live. 03:02.700 --> 03:04.700 No. 03:04.700 --> 03:10.700 Yeah. 03:10.700 --> 03:16.700 One of us ought to stop gargling the drain of. 03:16.700 --> 03:20.700 Yeah, you know, I know a lot of celebrities. Big names like that all around me. 03:20.700 --> 03:23.700 Darling, you know the name I have made in the fitters. 03:23.700 --> 03:28.700 Yeah, and they better not let me hear them saying it. 03:28.700 --> 03:30.700 My dear Joan. 03:30.700 --> 03:32.700 Oh, you don't have to thank me. 03:32.700 --> 03:35.700 I don't know why I beat my head against the wall talking to you. 03:35.700 --> 03:39.700 Well, maybe you're trying to get a shape you like. 03:39.700 --> 03:45.700 Look, Joan. 03:45.700 --> 03:51.700 We happen to have Margaret Truman on our show tonight, and I'd hope to start the show off on a high thing. 03:51.700 --> 03:55.700 Now, darling, please, would you say as little as possible to Miss Truman? 03:55.700 --> 04:01.700 Because frankly, I look upon your stupidity with the utmost disapproval. 04:01.700 --> 04:06.700 Well, I look upon your disapproval with the utmost of stupidity. 04:06.700 --> 04:09.700 How else, darling? 04:09.700 --> 04:13.700 Joan, we should all try to act our best and look our best today. 04:13.700 --> 04:16.700 Well, I look my best. Don't you like my gown? 04:16.700 --> 04:21.700 Oh, yes, dear, I always have. 04:21.700 --> 04:24.700 Well, I like the gown you're wearing, Tallulah. 04:24.700 --> 04:25.700 Thank you, Joan. 04:25.700 --> 04:30.700 You're pretty dressed up for a radio announcer. 04:30.700 --> 04:34.700 Now, look here, you... Oh, I beg your pardon. 04:34.700 --> 04:36.700 You're my guest. 04:36.700 --> 04:38.700 You're sorry I'm your guest? 04:38.700 --> 04:41.700 Yes. Oh, no. I mean, I'm just sorry I lost my temper. 04:41.700 --> 04:45.700 I'm glad you like my gown, Joan, but really, it's nothing. 04:45.700 --> 04:48.700 Almost. 04:48.700 --> 04:54.700 If it was any lower on top and any higher on the bottom, it'd be a belt. 04:54.700 --> 05:01.700 And I specifically asked them to send me Joan Davis, not Betty. 05:01.700 --> 05:08.700 Well, with that dress you're wearing, we've practically got all about Eve. 05:08.700 --> 05:14.700 I will have you know, my pet, that this gown cost me $750, not including the tax. 05:14.700 --> 05:17.700 Oh, they should have included a few tax. 05:17.700 --> 05:21.700 At least some pins with it. 05:21.700 --> 05:24.700 Now, look at my dress. It only cost $600. 05:24.700 --> 05:28.700 Yes, it's lovely, darling. Where's the government bond, darling? 05:28.700 --> 05:29.700 Government bond? 05:29.700 --> 05:34.700 Well, surely for $600, they gave you a $500 bond with that dress. 05:34.700 --> 05:44.700 Tell me, dear, where is the tea that came with that bag you're wearing? 05:44.700 --> 05:48.700 Bag? This is the finest satin. 05:48.700 --> 05:51.700 Well, if you ask me, it's too shiny. 05:51.700 --> 05:54.700 My new satin gown is shiny where? 05:54.700 --> 05:58.700 Where it's sat in. 05:58.700 --> 06:01.700 If you don't mind, darling, let's drop that topic. 06:01.700 --> 06:05.700 Yeah, well, it's your topic. You can drop it where you want. 06:05.700 --> 06:08.700 Oh, now, Joan, darling, please, let's not stand here bickering. 06:08.700 --> 06:11.700 No, I didn't bick. 06:11.700 --> 06:14.700 Now, Miss Truman will be here soon. Are you sure you know how to act? 06:14.700 --> 06:22.700 Oh, sure. I read about it in an etiquette book. If I'm a man, I bow, and if I'm a woman, I courtesy. 06:22.700 --> 06:28.700 Are you having difficulty making up your mind, darling? 06:28.700 --> 06:32.700 No, it's not so hard. I only get my choice of two. 06:32.700 --> 06:36.700 I don't think, though, that I better bow in this dress, so I'll just courtesy. 06:36.700 --> 06:42.700 I'd show you what I mean, but I only got one good courtesy left in me, and I'm sort of saving that for Miss Truman. 06:42.700 --> 06:46.700 I can get down once, but I may never get up again. 06:46.700 --> 06:49.700 I may have to do the rest of the whole show from a kneeling position. 06:49.700 --> 06:52.700 Oh, Joan, darling, you don't have to courtesy. 06:52.700 --> 07:00.700 Margaret Truman is just like any other normal American girl whose father is president. 07:00.700 --> 07:04.700 Yep, I just can't get over it. She must be brilliant. 07:04.700 --> 07:10.700 Think of it. She's only in her twenties, and already she's the daughter of the president. 07:10.700 --> 07:14.700 Oh, that reminds me. I must make sure Meredith Wilson has the music ready for her. 07:14.700 --> 07:15.700 Oh, Meredith, darling. 07:15.700 --> 07:21.700 Yes, Miss Bankhead? 07:21.700 --> 07:27.700 Meredith, darling, is your orchestra all ready for the president's daughter when she gets here? 07:27.700 --> 07:36.700 Miss Petrillo is coming here today. 07:36.700 --> 07:43.700 I happen to be talking about Margaret Truman, and if possible, I'd like to have your orchestra on their very best behavior. 07:43.700 --> 07:50.700 Oh, they will be. I had a little trouble with the cellist, but he finally took off his landing button. 07:50.700 --> 07:54.700 I'll have them play something. I want to make sure they're at least in tune. 07:54.700 --> 07:56.700 Have you got anything handy there, Meredith? 07:56.700 --> 07:59.700 Sure. I've got a tune here called This Is It. 07:59.700 --> 08:08.700 Ladies and gentlemen, here's a bright, novelty tune, Meredith Wilson and the Big Show Orchestra and Chorus, in Meredith's latest song, This Is It. 08:08.700 --> 08:23.700 When I was very young I once got struck by lightning 08:23.700 --> 08:29.700 And once I fell downstairs with a barrel of beer 08:29.700 --> 08:38.700 I once shot a firecracker off in a grand piano 08:38.700 --> 08:47.700 But all that rattle and all that bang was just so much less when for a rang 08:47.700 --> 08:56.700 Compared to what you've done to me, my dear 08:56.700 --> 09:01.700 This is it, this is it 09:01.700 --> 09:06.700 This is knock-down drag out to Consolid Cola 09:06.700 --> 09:10.700 This is it, this is it 09:10.700 --> 09:15.700 This is one big slam bang straight I'm off the doctor 09:15.700 --> 09:20.700 This is everything my folks gave me advice about 09:20.700 --> 09:24.700 Mama mia, where were you when all the lights went out? 09:24.700 --> 09:28.700 This is it, stars above 09:28.700 --> 09:33.700 This is knock-down drag out to Consolid Cola 09:33.700 --> 09:40.700 This is everything my folks gave me advice about 09:40.700 --> 09:45.700 Mama mia, where were you when all the lights went out? 09:45.700 --> 09:50.700 This is it, this is it 09:50.700 --> 09:55.700 This is knock-down drag out to Consolid Cola 09:55.700 --> 10:00.700 This is everything my folks gave me advice about 10:00.700 --> 10:04.700 Mama mia, where were you when all the lights went out? 10:04.700 --> 10:08.700 This is it, stars above 10:08.700 --> 10:13.700 This is knock-down drag out to Consolid Cola 10:13.700 --> 10:17.700 This is it, stars above 10:17.700 --> 10:31.700 This is knock-down drag out to Consolid Cola 10:31.700 --> 10:36.700 This is it, stars above 11:01.700 --> 11:21.700 In these days of iron curtains, brutal tyrannies, mysterious disappearances and sudden deaths, it is difficult for fiction to rival the terror and violence commonplace in the world today. 11:21.700 --> 11:34.700 It is a tribute to fine artistry in production, writing and performance that a smash new film does succeed in bringing to life on the screen a hair-raising adventure that matches today's realities. 11:34.700 --> 11:38.700 We are privileged to bring you on the big show a portion of that picture. 11:38.700 --> 12:02.700 So here is its star, Mr. Douglas Fairbanks Jr. in Columbia Pictures' fine new release, State Secret. 12:02.700 --> 12:07.700 My name is Marlow, Dr. John Marlow. I have a reservation on a plane to Bosnia. 12:07.700 --> 12:08.700 Thank you. 12:08.700 --> 12:10.700 Dr. Marlow, could I have a word with you? 12:10.700 --> 12:14.700 You know perfectly well that as a doctor I can't give interviews to the press. 12:14.700 --> 12:19.700 We understand you're flying over to Bosnia this morning to receive the Kepler Medal and to demonstrate your new technique in operation. 12:19.700 --> 12:20.700 Yes, that's right. 12:20.700 --> 12:28.700 What about the political angle? After all, you're an American. Your country's relations with General Issa Moneva's government are, well, not exactly friendly. 12:28.700 --> 12:33.700 I am an American doctor living in London. I shall continue to be an American all the way. 12:33.700 --> 12:37.700 But first I am a doctor and totally uninterested in politics. 12:37.700 --> 12:43.700 It seems to me that the Bosnian Congress of Science has made a gesture which places medicine above politics. 12:43.700 --> 12:47.700 I am just returning that gesture, that's all. Good morning, gentlemen. 12:47.700 --> 13:04.700 Attention, please. Flight 505 for Bosnia landing at Gate 12. All aboard, please. 13:04.700 --> 13:09.700 Welcome to Bosnia, Dr. Marlow. I am Dr. Rivo, president of the Medical Institute. 13:09.700 --> 13:10.700 Oh, how do you do? 13:10.700 --> 13:15.700 And may I present Colonel Galcon, personal representative of our Prime Minister General Issa Moneva. 13:15.700 --> 13:19.700 I bring you personal greetings from General Issa Moneva. 13:19.700 --> 13:27.700 He bids you welcome and offers his sincere apologies that affairs of state make it impossible for him to welcome you himself. 13:27.700 --> 13:40.700 Thank you, Colonel Galcon. Gentlemen, please convey my sincerest thanks to the General Issa Moneva, my deepest appreciation for the honor which Bosnia has seen fit to pay me. 13:40.700 --> 13:47.700 You know, gentlemen, somehow I've got the impression that General Issa Moneva was here to greet me. His pictures are everywhere. 13:47.700 --> 13:50.700 It's the first thing I saw when I got off the plane. 13:50.700 --> 13:57.700 Indeed, yes, Dr. Marlow. The people insist on it. General Issa Moneva is very close to their hearts. 13:57.700 --> 14:02.700 Shall we go to the car? I've arranged that there be no customs formalities. 14:02.700 --> 14:10.700 Our itinerary is quite heavy, but naturally we want to get to the medal presentation ceremony as quickly as possible. 14:10.700 --> 14:37.700 And now, Dr. Marlow, it is my very great privilege as representative of our Prime Minister General Issa Moneva to present to you the first American ever to receive it, the Kepler Gold Medal, 14:37.700 --> 14:41.700 in recognition of your outstanding contribution to science. 14:41.700 --> 14:43.700 Thank you, sir. Thank you. 14:43.700 --> 14:57.700 In developing a new surgical technique for treatment of a disease until now invariably fatal, we are also most grateful for your willingness to share your knowledge by demonstrating your technique to our leading specialists. 14:57.700 --> 14:59.700 Thank you, Colonel Galcon. 14:59.700 --> 15:04.700 Also, we felt you'd like to demonstrate your operative technique to our surgeons as soon as possible. 15:04.700 --> 15:06.700 Of course, gentlemen, the sooner the better. 15:06.700 --> 15:11.700 Good. I've arranged for the demonstration to be at my clinic where we have an excellent new operating theater. 15:11.700 --> 15:12.700 Oh, that'll be fine. 15:12.700 --> 15:17.700 I've had the patient moved there. If you're willing, I'll order the car and escort at once. 15:17.700 --> 15:18.700 By all means. 15:18.700 --> 15:24.700 I hope you won't think we are rushing things, but since you insist on leaving tomorrow afternoon... 15:24.700 --> 15:28.700 I'm afraid I have no choice, Colonel Galcon. I have appointments. 15:28.700 --> 15:32.700 But you will go back to London with a horribly antiseptic impression of us. 15:32.700 --> 15:33.700 No. 15:33.700 --> 15:38.700 Can't I persuade you to join my party later on a tour of our more decadent nightclubs? 15:38.700 --> 15:42.700 Well, I'd like to, but I'll need sleep tonight. 15:42.700 --> 15:49.700 It's shameful we are exploiting you, but as we are unlikely to meet again, I'll say goodbye. 15:49.700 --> 15:51.700 Goodbye, Colonel Galcon, and thank you. 15:51.700 --> 15:53.700 The car is waiting, Dr. Marlowe. 15:53.700 --> 16:01.700 I'm ready, Dr. Revo. Oh, I can't very well walk out of here wearing this medal, can I? I look a little ostentatious. 16:01.700 --> 16:03.700 Besides, it's quite heavy. 16:03.700 --> 16:05.700 Solid gold, as is the box. 16:05.700 --> 16:06.700 Does that so? 16:06.700 --> 16:11.700 But permit me. I'll place it in its case and guard it carefully until we return from the clinic. 16:11.700 --> 16:17.700 Oh, good. Now, about this patient, can you tell me something of the history? 16:17.700 --> 16:21.700 I have everything here. You can go over the records in the car. 16:21.700 --> 16:24.700 Oh, very thorough. Tell me, who is the patient? 16:24.700 --> 16:26.700 A middle-aged man. 16:26.700 --> 16:28.700 The name? 16:28.700 --> 16:32.700 Well, does it matter? This way, Dr. Marlowe. 16:42.700 --> 16:46.700 Have you finished examining the patient, Dr. Marlowe? 16:46.700 --> 16:52.700 Why, yes, I think so. Everything seems to be all right. Nothing abnormal here. 16:52.700 --> 16:55.700 Yes, sir, I think you're going to come out fine. 16:55.700 --> 17:00.700 There, there. Don't look so frightened. We're going to make a new man of you. 17:00.700 --> 17:02.700 What's he saying? 17:02.700 --> 17:06.700 Why, he said, thank you, thank you. 17:06.700 --> 17:10.700 Well, you can prepare him now. We'll operate as soon as I finish scrubbing up. 17:10.700 --> 17:15.700 Very good, doctor. The surgeons have already assembled in the operating theater. 17:15.700 --> 17:25.700 Oh, you mustn't keep them waiting, eh? All right, I won't be more than a few minutes. 17:34.700 --> 17:38.700 I usually prefer a paramedian incision in these cases, gentlemen. 17:38.700 --> 17:41.700 Though I've done a few with a cotchis incision. 17:41.700 --> 17:47.700 Sponge, please. I said, sponge. Thank you. 17:47.700 --> 17:53.700 If the others in the operating theater to see this, you doctors here in the operating room better stand back from the table. 17:53.700 --> 17:58.700 Please. Very well, we'll continue. 17:58.700 --> 18:10.700 It is essential that the trauma of the blood vessels be reduced to a minimum by exercising great care in their handling in view of the danger of post-operative thrombosis. 18:10.700 --> 18:16.700 I've asked you, gentlemen, not to crowd me. Will you kindly step back? 18:16.700 --> 18:20.700 Scalpel. I said scalpel. 18:20.700 --> 18:25.700 What's the matter with you people? What's wrong here? 18:25.700 --> 18:29.700 The patient... Pulse. Risen slightly. 18:29.700 --> 18:33.700 Color? Good. Quite good, doctor. 18:33.700 --> 18:37.700 There's too much tension here. Too much fumbling. 18:37.700 --> 18:43.700 Obvious, too, that half of you standing in this operating room are not doctors at all. 18:43.700 --> 18:45.700 Take off that patient's mask. 18:45.700 --> 18:46.700 Dr. Marlowe, I beg of you... 18:46.700 --> 18:50.700 Take off that anesthetic mask. I want to see the patient's face. 18:50.700 --> 18:51.700 But, please, doctor... 18:51.700 --> 18:58.700 Take your hand off my arm, Dr. Lebow. Remove that mask. 18:58.700 --> 19:01.700 This is not the man I examined before. 19:01.700 --> 19:06.700 This man... This man is the man on the posters. 19:06.700 --> 19:14.700 This man is Generalissimo Neva, the dictator of Bosnia. 19:14.700 --> 19:19.700 Continue the operation, Dr. Marlowe. 19:19.700 --> 19:23.700 Of course. What kind of a doctor do you think I am? 19:23.700 --> 19:27.700 Scalpel. 19:27.700 --> 19:49.700 Oblively, now. Clamps. 19:49.700 --> 19:53.700 May I congratulate you, Dr. Marlowe. That was a magnificent job. 19:53.700 --> 19:55.700 I hope you're satisfied, Colonel Galcom. 19:55.700 --> 20:01.700 If I hadn't betrayed myself by yielding to an impulse and crowding you in the operating room, 20:01.700 --> 20:06.700 you would not have noticed me, not recognized me, not become suspicious, 20:06.700 --> 20:10.700 not discovered who your patient really was. 20:10.700 --> 20:14.700 But it is too late for that, is it not? Much too late. 20:14.700 --> 20:18.700 I expected to be treated according to elementary civilized standards of behavior. 20:18.700 --> 20:19.700 Obviously, I was mistaken. 20:19.700 --> 20:21.700 I can only beg your pardon. 20:21.700 --> 20:24.700 I am not interested. This has been a gross abuse of confidence. 20:24.700 --> 20:26.700 I accept full responsibility. 20:26.700 --> 20:28.700 I should like a car to take me back immediately. 20:28.700 --> 20:30.700 Will the patient recover? 20:30.700 --> 20:35.700 You had better ask General Neva. His guest is as good as mine. 20:35.700 --> 20:38.700 How long will it be before he is out of danger? 20:38.700 --> 20:42.700 What's that got to do with this? You're going to explain this to Washington and London. 20:42.700 --> 20:47.700 Would you say 10 days should tell whether or not the operation was successful? 20:47.700 --> 20:48.700 About that. 20:48.700 --> 20:53.700 Just a moment, Dr. Marlowe. I don't think you can leave just yet. 20:53.700 --> 20:55.700 Oh, yes, I'm leaving, Colonel Galcom. 20:55.700 --> 20:58.700 If you haven't heard the last of this, I can promise you. 20:58.700 --> 21:02.700 I said I don't think you can leave, Dr. Marlowe. 21:02.700 --> 21:04.700 If you try to... 21:04.700 --> 21:25.700 That's better, Doctor. Just bow to the inevitable. 21:25.700 --> 21:30.700 Well, Colonel, I hear I'm to be permitted to leave at last. 21:30.700 --> 21:34.700 You heard correctly, Doctor. The 10 days are up. 21:34.700 --> 21:37.700 The General seemingly has made a complete recovery. 21:37.700 --> 21:40.700 So here is your plane reservation. 21:40.700 --> 21:41.700 Time of departure? 21:41.700 --> 21:45.700 Half an hour. My own guards will see to it that you are taken safely to the field. 21:45.700 --> 21:46.700 Thank you. 21:46.700 --> 21:48.700 Oh, not at all, Doctor. 21:48.700 --> 21:57.700 You have, of course, our harmless apologies for the unfortunate slugging, the detention, the assorted, shall I say, abuses? 21:57.700 --> 21:59.700 You might very well say, Colonel. 21:59.700 --> 22:05.700 But one might speculate upon what would have happened if the General had died. 22:05.700 --> 22:08.700 Your little dictatorship would have fallen apart. 22:08.700 --> 22:12.700 Oh, no. The people would never be permitted to know that he was dead. 22:12.700 --> 22:13.700 What? 22:13.700 --> 22:17.700 Oh, please don't be naive. Every contingency has been taken care of. 22:17.700 --> 22:23.700 The people would not know, and one of the Generalissimo's doubles would have ruled on, merely. 22:23.700 --> 22:25.700 Credit. But I would... 22:25.700 --> 22:29.700 Exactly. Could we have let you return to England? 22:29.700 --> 22:30.700 What do you mean? 22:30.700 --> 22:37.700 An unfortunate accident, shall we say? On the way to the airport or in the plane itself? 22:37.700 --> 22:40.700 You're not serious. You wouldn't have me murdered. 22:40.700 --> 22:45.700 Of course I would. What is one life against the security of a whole state? 22:45.700 --> 22:47.700 Oh, by the way, here is your medal. You forgot it. 22:47.700 --> 22:52.700 Thanks. Thanks for showing me the reverse side. 22:52.700 --> 22:56.700 But we are only amusing ourselves within an exercise in theory. 22:56.700 --> 22:58.700 A sort of chest problem, eh? 22:58.700 --> 23:02.700 But why are you letting me go now? You know very well that I'll make a full report. 23:02.700 --> 23:04.700 We shall simply deny. 23:04.700 --> 23:06.700 Come. 23:06.700 --> 23:09.700 Very well, Andre. Wait in the car. The doctor will be down presently. 23:09.700 --> 23:11.700 The doctor will go now. 23:11.700 --> 23:13.700 Wait. 23:13.700 --> 23:16.700 The plane will keep. 23:16.700 --> 23:18.700 One for the road, doctor. 23:18.700 --> 23:23.700 Why not, Colonel? Your ethics are unspeakable, but your cellar is excellent. 23:23.700 --> 23:26.700 To your very good health. 23:26.700 --> 23:32.700 May you live long to exercise your brilliant talent for the benefit of humanity. 23:32.700 --> 23:34.700 I dreamt to... 23:34.700 --> 23:37.700 Dr. Evo, is there something I can do for you? 23:37.700 --> 23:39.700 Generalissimo, Eva... 23:39.700 --> 23:41.700 He's dead. 23:41.700 --> 23:46.700 So? The chest problem is no longer theoretical, Dr. Malo. 23:46.700 --> 23:48.700 It is our move, I believe. 23:48.700 --> 23:51.700 No. It's my move, Colonel. 23:51.700 --> 23:54.700 I give you back your medal. 23:54.700 --> 23:56.700 Shoot! Shoot! 24:04.700 --> 24:08.700 The airport, Andre. And fast. I wouldn't want to miss that plane. 24:08.700 --> 24:16.700 I'm sorry, sir. The car won't start. 24:38.700 --> 24:41.700 Douglas Fairbanks, your usual polished performance. 24:41.700 --> 24:43.700 But you're not going to leave me on edge like this. 24:43.700 --> 24:47.700 Now, what happened to the American doctor who performed the operation in Bosnia? Did he get away? 24:47.700 --> 24:50.700 That, Tallulah, is a state secret. 24:50.700 --> 24:53.700 Now, darling, you can tell me. I'll keep my big mouth shut. 24:53.700 --> 24:57.700 But it's a surprise ending and I don't want to give it away. 24:57.700 --> 24:59.700 Why don't you go to your neighborhood movie and see it for yourself? 24:59.700 --> 25:03.700 I can't wait that long. Look, it would cost me 75 cents to see the movie. 25:03.700 --> 25:07.700 I'll give you 75 cents. Tell me how it ends. 25:07.700 --> 25:09.700 You smoke when you go to the movies, Tallulah? 25:09.700 --> 25:10.700 Of course, darling. Why? 25:10.700 --> 25:13.700 Well, that'll be a dollar ten for the loggers. 25:13.700 --> 25:15.700 All right. I'll give you a dollar ten. 25:15.700 --> 25:17.700 It'll be a long wait for the loge seats. 25:17.700 --> 25:21.700 All right. I'll sit in the orchestra. Did the doctor get out of Bosnia? 25:21.700 --> 25:24.700 Come on, darling. I'm burning up with curiosity. 25:24.700 --> 25:26.700 No smoking in the orchestra. 25:26.700 --> 25:31.700 Look, Junior, you make a very good usher. 25:31.700 --> 25:37.700 But if you don't mind, I'd like to usher you in six stalwart men who come from three southern countries. 25:37.700 --> 25:39.700 Really? What three countries? 25:39.700 --> 25:41.700 Texas. 25:41.700 --> 25:44.700 Ladies and gentlemen, you've seen them in all the Roy Rogers pictures. 25:44.700 --> 25:47.700 They're the boys who sit around the campfire roasting. 25:47.700 --> 26:09.700 And here they are, pretty well barbecued by now, the sons of the pioneers. 26:09.700 --> 26:25.700 Water, water, water, water. 26:25.700 --> 26:33.700 All day I faced a barren waste without the taste of water. 26:33.700 --> 26:39.700 Cool water, water. 26:39.700 --> 26:48.700 Old and alive with mold for dry and soul that's my fault. 26:48.700 --> 26:57.700 Water, water, cool water, clear water. 26:57.700 --> 27:04.700 Water, water, keep a moving den, don't you listen to him, den, he's a devil not a man. 27:04.700 --> 27:08.700 His bed's a burning sand with water. 27:08.700 --> 27:11.700 Water, water. 27:11.700 --> 27:18.700 Den, can you see that big green tree where the water's running free and he's waiting there for me? 27:18.700 --> 27:22.700 And he, clear water. 27:22.700 --> 27:30.700 The shadows sway and seem to say tonight we pray for water. 27:30.700 --> 27:36.700 Cool water, water. 27:36.700 --> 27:46.700 And way up there he'll hear out there and show us where there's water. 27:46.700 --> 27:55.700 Cool water, water, clear water. 27:55.700 --> 28:02.700 Water, water, keep a moving den, don't you listen to him, den, he's a devil not a man. 28:02.700 --> 28:06.700 And his bed's a burning sand with water. 28:06.700 --> 28:09.700 Water, water. 28:09.700 --> 28:17.700 Den, can you see that big green tree where the water's running free and he's waiting there for me? 28:17.700 --> 28:21.700 And he, clear water. 28:21.700 --> 28:29.700 Den's feet are sore, he's yearning for just one thing more than water. 28:29.700 --> 28:35.700 Cool water, water. 28:35.700 --> 28:46.700 Like me, I guess he'd like to ask where there's no place for water. 28:46.700 --> 28:56.700 Cool water, clear water. 28:56.700 --> 29:00.700 Cool water. 29:00.700 --> 29:05.700 Gentlemen, that was divine. 29:05.700 --> 29:07.700 I'd like to meet every one of you. 29:07.700 --> 29:08.700 What are your names, darlings? 29:08.700 --> 29:10.700 Tex is Far. 29:10.700 --> 29:11.700 And you? 29:11.700 --> 29:12.700 Tex Ferryman. 29:12.700 --> 29:13.700 You? 29:13.700 --> 29:14.700 Tex Fisher. 29:14.700 --> 29:15.700 And go on. 29:15.700 --> 29:16.700 Tex Curtis. 29:16.700 --> 29:17.700 And yours? 29:17.700 --> 29:18.700 Tex Far. 29:18.700 --> 29:19.700 And finally? 29:19.700 --> 29:20.700 Tex Doss. 29:20.700 --> 29:21.700 Where do you boys hail from? 29:21.700 --> 29:22.700 Oklahoma. 29:22.700 --> 29:28.700 Well, something tells me I might as well take this time to bring my chimes. 29:28.700 --> 29:54.700 This is NBC, the national broadcasting company. 29:54.700 --> 29:59.700 The big show, this is the national broadcasting company, Sunday Extravaganza, with the most 29:59.700 --> 30:02.700 scintillating personalities in show business. 30:02.700 --> 30:06.700 This portion of the program is the Sunday feature of NBC's all-star festival of comedy, 30:06.700 --> 30:11.700 music, drama, and mystery, brought to you by the makers of Anison for fast relief from 30:11.700 --> 30:14.700 pain of headache, Uranus and neuralgia. 30:14.700 --> 30:20.700 By your local Ford dealer, who is now displaying the new 1951 Ford, the car that's built for 30:20.700 --> 30:27.700 the years ahead, by RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in 30:27.700 --> 30:33.700 television, and by Chesterfield, the cigarette that gives you mildness plus no unpleasant 30:33.700 --> 30:35.700 aftertaste. 30:35.700 --> 30:39.700 The big stars in this program are Fred Allen, Mindy Carson, Joan Davis, Douglas Fairbanks 30:39.700 --> 30:44.700 Jr., Phil Silvers, the sons of the pioneers, Margaret Truman, Meredith Wilson, and the 30:44.700 --> 30:46.700 big show orchestra and chorus. 30:46.700 --> 30:53.700 And every week, your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable, Tallulah Bankhead. 30:53.700 --> 31:13.700 Well, darlings, I know you're all waiting for the appearance of Miss Margaret Truman, 31:13.700 --> 31:15.700 and I'm about to present her. 31:15.700 --> 31:16.700 Do I look all right? 31:16.700 --> 31:18.700 I hope she notices this gown. 31:18.700 --> 31:23.700 I got it especially for this occasion, but all of a sudden it feels as if it's dropping 31:23.700 --> 31:24.700 off me. 31:24.700 --> 31:27.700 Of course, I had it designed that way. 31:27.700 --> 31:32.700 Well, I'm going to bring Miss Truman on now with a fanfare of trumpets. 31:32.700 --> 31:37.700 We have a red carpet we're going to roll out, and we have a very effective ceremony with 31:37.700 --> 31:38.700 scattered rose petals. 31:38.700 --> 31:39.700 Hello, Miss Bankhead. 31:39.700 --> 31:40.700 Why, Margaret Truman. 31:40.700 --> 31:54.700 Miss Truman, you should have waited for a fanfare in rose petals, and we were even going 31:54.700 --> 31:58.700 to roll out a red carpet for you to stand on as part of the ceremony. 31:58.700 --> 32:01.700 Oh, you know I don't like to stand on ceremony. 32:01.700 --> 32:08.700 Oh, darling, the first line and already a joke. 32:08.700 --> 32:11.700 I am the emcee, remember, Miss Truman? 32:11.700 --> 32:13.700 But you do look divine, darling. 32:13.700 --> 32:15.700 What a beautiful gown. 32:15.700 --> 32:19.700 Really, you didn't have to go to all that trouble to have a gown made just for this 32:19.700 --> 32:20.700 occasion. 32:20.700 --> 32:21.700 I didn't. 32:21.700 --> 32:24.700 Well, what a coincidence. 32:24.700 --> 32:26.700 So did I. 32:26.700 --> 32:29.700 And I adore your gown. 32:29.700 --> 32:31.700 Thank you, Miss Bankhead. 32:31.700 --> 32:32.700 And? 32:32.700 --> 32:33.700 And what? 32:33.700 --> 32:36.700 And whose gown do you adore, Miss Truman? 32:36.700 --> 32:38.700 I don't know. 32:38.700 --> 32:39.700 You don't know? 32:39.700 --> 32:40.700 Why not? 32:40.700 --> 32:41.700 I lost my place. 32:41.700 --> 32:42.700 So early in the show, darling? 32:42.700 --> 32:47.700 But what I've been trying to find out is how do you like my gown? 32:47.700 --> 32:48.700 Don't you think it does something for me? 32:48.700 --> 32:49.700 I do. 32:49.700 --> 32:50.700 It's in such good taste. 32:50.700 --> 32:53.700 Not too daring and still just the slightest suggestion. 32:53.700 --> 32:55.700 I designed it myself, you know. 32:55.700 --> 32:59.700 I designed the clothes for all my plays, and they always cause so much comment. 32:59.700 --> 33:01.700 Just as this little gown has caused. 33:01.700 --> 33:03.700 Don't you think it's sweet, Miss Truman? 33:03.700 --> 33:04.700 I do, don't you? 33:04.700 --> 33:05.700 Yes. 33:05.700 --> 33:12.700 Oh, it's so kind of you to say so many nice things about my dress. 33:12.700 --> 33:16.700 Even if I do say so myself. 33:16.700 --> 33:19.700 And I think I did. 33:19.700 --> 33:20.700 Thank you, Miss Truman. 33:20.700 --> 33:22.700 You're welcome, Miss Bankhead. 33:22.700 --> 33:23.700 Now, how are things, Miss Truman? 33:23.700 --> 33:25.700 How's everyone at home? 33:25.700 --> 33:26.700 Fine. 33:26.700 --> 33:28.700 And how are the Blairs? 33:28.700 --> 33:30.700 The Blairs? 33:30.700 --> 33:31.700 Well, yes, darling. 33:31.700 --> 33:37.700 Didn't I read somewhere that you were staying with the Blairs while they were repapering your house or something? 33:37.700 --> 33:39.700 Yes, we lost our place temporarily. 33:39.700 --> 33:42.700 Again, darling, we're on page 29. 33:42.700 --> 33:43.700 Oh, your place. 33:43.700 --> 33:44.700 Oh, I see, darling. 33:44.700 --> 33:45.700 I didn't understand. 33:45.700 --> 33:47.700 I'm sorry. 33:47.700 --> 33:51.700 Well, is there anyone at home listening to our program? 33:51.700 --> 33:52.700 I guess so. 33:52.700 --> 33:55.700 Oh, how sweet. 33:55.700 --> 34:00.700 Well, would you like to say hello to anyone special? 34:00.700 --> 34:01.700 May I? 34:01.700 --> 34:03.700 Oh, please do, darling. 34:03.700 --> 34:06.700 What a scoop. 34:06.700 --> 34:08.700 Go right ahead, Miss Truman. 34:08.700 --> 34:09.700 All right. 34:09.700 --> 34:12.700 Hello, Margaret. 34:12.700 --> 34:13.700 Margaret? 34:13.700 --> 34:14.700 Who's Margaret? 34:14.700 --> 34:15.700 That's me. 34:15.700 --> 34:19.700 I'd like to hear somebody on this program call me by my first name. 34:19.700 --> 34:21.700 Oh, that's so sweet, darling. 34:21.700 --> 34:23.700 And you don't have to call me Miss Bankhead, darling. 34:23.700 --> 34:26.700 Call me by my given name, will you, darling? 34:26.700 --> 34:30.700 Yes, darling. 34:30.700 --> 34:40.700 The child's getting all the laughs. 34:40.700 --> 34:43.700 And now, Margaret, I want you to meet some of the other members of our cast. 34:43.700 --> 34:44.700 That's Phil. 34:44.700 --> 34:51.700 Will you come here a minute, Phil Silvers? 34:51.700 --> 34:54.700 My goodness, that's the biggest round of applause I ever got. 34:54.700 --> 34:56.700 No wonder they call it the big show. 34:56.700 --> 35:00.700 Of course, the applause card they hold up here is much bigger than on any other show. 35:00.700 --> 35:03.700 Now, Phil, there's somebody here I want you to meet. 35:03.700 --> 35:05.700 Miss Truman, may I present Mr. Phil Silvers? 35:05.700 --> 35:06.700 How do you do? 35:06.700 --> 35:07.700 How do you do? 35:07.700 --> 35:10.700 I was on a show once where they held up the applause card upside down. 35:10.700 --> 35:14.700 I got the biggest round of esselpaw you ever heard. 35:14.700 --> 35:17.700 Phil, this is Margaret Truman. 35:17.700 --> 35:19.700 Glad to see you high. 35:19.700 --> 35:24.700 Yeah, you get the gag, esselpaw, applause, spell backwards, funny. 35:24.700 --> 35:26.700 All right, ESU, it's a pretty good show. 35:26.700 --> 35:32.700 Phil, Miss Truman, dear, Miss Truman is the daughter of the president. 35:32.700 --> 35:33.700 Yeah, we just met. 35:33.700 --> 35:34.700 Nice kid. 35:34.700 --> 35:35.700 Hi. 35:35.700 --> 35:39.700 Daughter of the president of NBC? 35:39.700 --> 35:41.700 Look, honey, I got a wonderful idea for a radio show. 35:41.700 --> 35:45.700 I come out and I say, hello again, this is Phil Silvers. 35:45.700 --> 35:47.700 Phil, Miss Truman is from Washington. 35:47.700 --> 35:48.700 Yeah? 35:48.700 --> 35:51.700 Hey, I'm a big hit in Washington, especially in Seattle. 35:51.700 --> 35:53.700 Do you ever play any of the night clubs in Seattle? 35:53.700 --> 35:55.700 No, I never have. 35:55.700 --> 35:56.700 What's the bit? 35:56.700 --> 35:57.700 What's the routine? 35:57.700 --> 35:59.700 What are you going to do on this show? 35:59.700 --> 36:03.700 Phil, Miss Truman was kind enough to accept our invitation to sing on this program. 36:03.700 --> 36:05.700 Oh, vocalist. 36:05.700 --> 36:06.700 Miss Truman. 36:06.700 --> 36:08.700 Oh, I should have known. 36:08.700 --> 36:12.700 Say, you're not Harry James's vocalist, are you? 36:12.700 --> 36:14.700 No, I've never had the pleasure. 36:14.700 --> 36:18.700 Besides, I sing classical and semi-classical, you know, long hair. 36:18.700 --> 36:20.700 Well, how do you do with that kind of stuff? 36:20.700 --> 36:21.700 Very well, thank you. 36:21.700 --> 36:24.700 Not too good, huh? 36:24.700 --> 36:26.700 Listen, I happen to know all about singing. 36:26.700 --> 36:27.700 You got to sell the stuff. 36:27.700 --> 36:28.700 Let me hear you make with the pipes. 36:28.700 --> 36:30.700 How about trees? 36:30.700 --> 36:31.700 Now? 36:31.700 --> 36:32.700 Yeah, just a few bars. 36:32.700 --> 36:33.700 You know how it goes. 36:33.700 --> 36:34.700 I think that I shall never see. 36:34.700 --> 36:36.700 A poem as lovely as a tree, whatever that means. 36:36.700 --> 36:37.700 Okay, take it. 36:37.700 --> 36:38.700 I think that I shall never see. 36:38.700 --> 36:41.700 I think that I shall never see. 36:41.700 --> 36:43.700 No, you're not selling it, kid. 36:43.700 --> 36:45.700 You've got to sock it over. 36:45.700 --> 36:47.700 You've got to get it across. 36:47.700 --> 36:48.700 I'll show you. 36:48.700 --> 36:52.700 I think that I shall never see. 36:52.700 --> 36:58.700 I think that I shall never see. 36:58.700 --> 36:59.700 You're fighting me. 36:59.700 --> 37:01.700 You're fighting. 37:01.700 --> 37:02.700 Try it again. 37:02.700 --> 37:03.700 Listen. 37:03.700 --> 37:05.700 I think that I shall never see. 37:05.700 --> 37:09.700 I think that I shall never see. 37:09.700 --> 37:12.700 Maybe your way is better. 37:12.700 --> 37:13.700 Bill. 37:13.700 --> 37:14.700 Yeah? 37:14.700 --> 37:19.700 I think that I shall never see the day you're on this program again. 37:19.700 --> 37:20.700 Well. 37:20.700 --> 37:22.700 Unless you stop bothering Miss Truman. 37:22.700 --> 37:25.700 Now, Margaret, darling, we have a happy little commercial. 37:25.700 --> 37:27.700 Now, you know what a commercial is. 37:27.700 --> 37:29.700 In radio, that's like the Marshall Plan. 37:29.700 --> 37:32.700 Would you mind reading it, Ed Hurley, darling? 37:32.700 --> 37:35.700 Every day you hear more and more about an incredibly fast way 37:35.700 --> 37:38.700 to relieve the pains of headache, urinitis, and neuralgia. 37:38.700 --> 37:42.700 It's Anason, A-N-A-C-I-N. 37:42.700 --> 37:47.700 Now, the reason Anason is so wonderfully fast-acting and effective is this. 37:47.700 --> 37:49.700 Anason is like a doctor's prescription. 37:49.700 --> 37:52.700 That is, Anason contains not just one, 37:52.700 --> 37:55.700 but a combination of medically proven active ingredients 37:55.700 --> 37:58.700 in easy-to-take tablet form. 37:58.700 --> 38:01.700 Thousands of people have received envelopes containing Anason tablets 38:01.700 --> 38:03.700 from their own dentist or physician, 38:03.700 --> 38:07.700 and in this way discovered the incredibly fast relief Anason brings 38:07.700 --> 38:10.700 from pains of headache, urinitis, or neuralgia. 38:10.700 --> 38:17.700 So, the next time a headache strikes, take Anason, A-N-A-C-I-N. 38:17.700 --> 38:20.700 Anason, in handy boxes of 12 and 30, 38:20.700 --> 38:24.700 economical family-sized bottles of 50 and 100. 38:24.700 --> 38:27.700 Ask for Anason at any drug counter. 38:27.700 --> 38:41.700 I think that I shall never see, oh, dear dear, I loved you in the springtime. 38:41.700 --> 38:44.700 Margaret, I want you to meet somebody. 38:44.700 --> 38:46.700 Miss Truman, this is Miss Joan Davis. 38:46.700 --> 38:47.700 How do you do? 38:47.700 --> 38:51.700 Well, how do you do, Your Honor? 38:51.700 --> 38:56.700 Joan, get up off the floor. 38:56.700 --> 38:58.700 Get up and say hello to Margaret Truman. 38:58.700 --> 39:01.700 Can't you send her down here? 39:01.700 --> 39:04.700 Ladies and gentlemen, while Miss Davis is wallowing on the floor, 39:04.700 --> 39:07.700 Meredith Wilson and the Vic Show Orchestra and Chorus 39:07.700 --> 39:10.700 will bring us an unusual arrangement of a tune imported from France 39:10.700 --> 39:12.700 and being played for the first time in this country. 39:12.700 --> 39:15.700 It is entitled Les Violins s'amuse, 39:15.700 --> 39:21.700 which means the violins amuse themselves or have fun forever. 39:21.700 --> 39:26.600 Ode to может 40:21.700 --> 40:50.400 There's song and laughter when phial hymns play 40:50.400 --> 40:57.200 With hymn of faith, as they seem to say 40:57.200 --> 41:03.500 There's no tomorrow so vanish of sorrow 41:03.500 --> 41:28.500 Live on today and love is gone 41:33.500 --> 41:43.500 Live on today 42:03.500 --> 42:13.500 Live on today and love is gone 42:33.500 --> 42:40.500 Live on today and love is gone 43:03.500 --> 43:10.500 Live on today and love is gone 43:33.500 --> 43:40.500 Live on today and love is gone 44:03.500 --> 44:10.500 Live on today and love is gone 44:34.500 --> 44:42.500 This might be an idea, Margaret. Now how about doing a big variety show about an hour and a half program and get the biggest names in show business? 44:42.500 --> 44:44.500 Or you could be the mistress of ceremonies. 44:44.500 --> 44:48.500 Just a moment, that's my program. 44:48.500 --> 44:56.500 I don't mind standing here without any lines, but I simply refuse to stand here without a program. 44:56.500 --> 45:00.500 Oh, don't worry, Tallulah. I wouldn't dream of doing a program like that. 45:00.500 --> 45:03.500 Why not, darling? 45:03.500 --> 45:05.500 Well, I don't think I'm old enough. 45:05.500 --> 45:09.500 What? 45:09.500 --> 45:12.500 I mean, I'm not experienced enough. 45:12.500 --> 45:25.500 Well, look, with no experience then, Margaret, you ought to be in television. 45:25.500 --> 45:30.500 Tell me, this is a haven for people who have no sets, you know. 45:30.500 --> 45:32.500 We all get together. 45:32.500 --> 45:35.500 But tell me, do you watch much television at home, do you? 45:35.500 --> 45:38.500 Oh, we don't have television in Washington. 45:38.500 --> 45:39.500 Why not? 45:39.500 --> 45:43.500 DC. 45:43.500 --> 45:46.500 These are the Bilx folks. I know there are people out there. I can hear them breathing. 45:46.500 --> 45:48.500 Oh, say. 45:48.500 --> 45:52.500 Don't tell me that you won't be good on radio, Margaret Truman. 45:52.500 --> 45:56.500 You just give me a minute to think. I'll come up with an idea for a program for you. Just a minute. 45:56.500 --> 45:59.500 Maybe you can get an idea from a couple of my good friends. 45:59.500 --> 46:02.500 Here they are, Bing Crosby and Bob Hope. 46:02.500 --> 46:05.500 Say, Bob, incidentally, now that you're with Chesterfield, suggestion, please. 46:05.500 --> 46:09.500 Why don't you try and connect yourself with a little, little savoeur faire, a little... 46:09.500 --> 46:12.500 You know, say, Croix, you're the V. 46:12.500 --> 46:17.500 Look, V.N. Rose. 46:17.500 --> 46:20.500 Don't try to dazzle me with that stale French of yours. 46:20.500 --> 46:23.500 I could dazzle you with English, Bob. 46:23.500 --> 46:24.500 Dazzle be enough out of you. 46:24.500 --> 46:27.500 Tup, tup. 46:27.500 --> 46:31.500 Dearly friends, Skin, Flint and I, we do agree 100% on this. 46:31.500 --> 46:33.500 Chesterfields are milder. 46:33.500 --> 46:35.500 And they leave no unpleasant aftertaste. 46:35.500 --> 46:37.500 So always buy our cigarette, Chesterfield. 46:37.500 --> 46:39.500 The best cigarette for you to smoke. 46:39.500 --> 46:42.500 Chesterfield, Chesterfield, always wins first place. 46:42.500 --> 46:46.500 That milder mild tobacco never leaves an aftertaste. 46:46.500 --> 46:49.500 So open a pack, give them a smell. 46:49.500 --> 46:51.500 And you'll smoke them. 46:51.500 --> 46:53.500 Don't forget to give Crosby for Christmas. 46:53.500 --> 46:57.500 I mean the Chesterfield Christmas carton with Bing as Papa Santa Claus. 47:04.500 --> 47:05.500 And now, ladies and gentlemen... 47:05.500 --> 47:07.500 Say, pardon me just a second, Toulouse. 47:07.500 --> 47:10.500 Say, I think I have it, Margaret, a great idea for a program. 47:10.500 --> 47:13.500 Now, the first thing you need, of course, is a singer. 47:13.500 --> 47:15.500 I beg your pardon. 47:15.500 --> 47:17.500 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. 47:17.500 --> 47:19.500 I mean a popular singer. 47:19.500 --> 47:20.500 I beg your pardon. 47:20.500 --> 47:22.500 No, no, I mean an unpopular singer. 47:22.500 --> 47:23.500 No, no, I... 47:23.500 --> 47:26.500 No, what I really mean is a singer like Mindy Carson. 47:26.500 --> 47:28.500 Mindy, will you step over here, please? 47:34.500 --> 47:36.500 Mindy, darling, I want you to meet someone. 47:36.500 --> 47:37.500 Miss Truman, this is... 47:37.500 --> 47:39.500 Just a minute, Toulouse. Let me introduce her. 47:39.500 --> 47:42.500 You know, with two singers on the program, you bound to have trouble. 47:42.500 --> 47:43.500 Let me hand this. 47:43.500 --> 47:46.500 Mindy, I want you to meet Margaret Truman. 47:46.500 --> 47:48.500 Miss Seattle of 1949. 47:48.500 --> 47:50.500 Here. 47:50.500 --> 47:52.500 How do you do, Mindy? It's a pleasure. 47:52.500 --> 47:53.500 Now, don't fight, girls. 47:53.500 --> 47:55.500 Oh, hello, Miss Truman. I'm pleased to meet you. 47:55.500 --> 47:58.500 Now, Mindy, is that a nice thing to say? 47:58.500 --> 48:01.500 Mindy, I have all your records, and I just love them. 48:01.500 --> 48:03.500 Oh, relax, Miss Truman. So what if she is a singer? 48:03.500 --> 48:06.500 And I've gone to every one of your concerts, Miss Truman. 48:06.500 --> 48:07.500 I just love your voice. 48:07.500 --> 48:09.500 She's just kidding, Miss Truman. She doesn't mean it. 48:09.500 --> 48:13.500 Miss Truman, I've been looking forward to meeting you for a long time. 48:13.500 --> 48:17.500 Oh, girls, you both said the same thing together. Make a wish. 48:17.500 --> 48:19.500 You must lock your little fingers and make a wish. 48:19.500 --> 48:20.500 Come on, girls. That's it. 48:20.500 --> 48:23.500 There they go. They got a hammer lock on her. 48:23.500 --> 48:26.500 Quiet, Phil. They're making a wish. 48:26.500 --> 48:27.500 Why don't you go away? 48:27.500 --> 48:29.500 There. I've made mine. 48:29.500 --> 48:30.500 Me too. 48:30.500 --> 48:32.500 Now, now, you mustn't tell what the wish is. It won't come true. 48:32.500 --> 48:36.500 Mindy, I'd love to hear you sing a song. Would you do that for me? 48:36.500 --> 48:38.500 Oh, see, my wish came true. 48:38.500 --> 48:40.500 I just made a wish that you'd ask me that. 48:40.500 --> 48:42.500 Certainly, I'd love to sing for you. 48:42.500 --> 48:44.500 My song is The Touch of Your Lips. 48:44.500 --> 48:47.500 That's the song I just wished you'd sing. 48:47.500 --> 48:51.500 Well, if nobody's going to pay any attention to me, I'll be going. 48:51.500 --> 48:55.500 Good. I wasn't even wishing him. My wish came true. 48:55.500 --> 48:57.500 Well. 48:57.500 --> 48:59.500 Sing, Mindy, darling. 48:59.500 --> 49:14.500 Gifts that are good and then sweet And now at last the moment divine 49:14.500 --> 49:27.500 The touch of your lips Upon my brow 49:27.500 --> 49:46.500 Your lips that are cool and sweet Such tenderness 49:46.500 --> 50:06.500 Lies in their secrets My heart forgets to breathe 50:06.500 --> 50:19.500 The touch of your hands Upon my hair 50:19.500 --> 50:32.500 The love in your eyes The same 50:32.500 --> 50:45.500 And now at last the moment divine 50:45.500 --> 50:55.500 The touch of your lips On mine 50:55.500 --> 51:03.500 Your lips are oh so cool Your hands are oh so warm 51:03.500 --> 51:17.500 The touch of your hands Upon my hair 51:17.500 --> 51:30.500 The love in your eyes The same 51:30.500 --> 51:43.500 And now at last the moment divine 51:43.500 --> 51:53.500 The touch of your lips On mine 51:53.500 --> 52:02.500 If only mine, our lives would stay, we would stay 52:02.500 --> 52:20.500 Ladies and gentlemen, America's newest car, the fine new Ford for 1951, is now on display at your neighborhood Ford dealers. 52:20.500 --> 52:31.500 And when you see it, you'll find that inside and out in every detail of design and construction, the 1951 Ford reflects true fine car quality. 52:31.500 --> 52:41.500 And in addition, it offers 43 look ahead features designed to keep the 51 Ford young in appearance and young in performance. 52:41.500 --> 52:50.500 For example, there's Ford Smart Luxury Lounge Interiors with their exclusive color harmonized Fordcraft fabrics. 52:50.500 --> 52:59.500 There's the new automatic ride control that automatically adjusts spring reaction to the type of road to give you a level ride, an easy ride. 52:59.500 --> 53:08.500 And there's the automatic mileage maker that lets you get the last mile out of every gallon of gasoline for utmost economy. 53:08.500 --> 53:13.500 Visit your Ford dealer soon and see the 1951 Ford yourself. 53:13.500 --> 53:26.500 You'll agree you can pay more, but you can't buy better. 53:26.500 --> 53:30.500 Well, Fred, have you thought of an idea for a program for Miss Truman yet? 53:30.500 --> 53:36.500 Yes, Toulouse, I have a great idea and I could try it out on this program, but I'll need an awful lot of actors. 53:36.500 --> 53:41.500 Oh, that's easy, darling. I'm sure everyone on the show will be glad to help. Oh, here's Doug Fairbanks. Doug, will you help us out? 53:41.500 --> 53:42.500 I'd be glad to. 53:42.500 --> 53:46.500 Oh, Doug, darling, I want you to meet someone. Miss Truman, may I present Mr. Douglas Fairbanks, Jr.? 53:46.500 --> 53:47.500 How do you do? 53:47.500 --> 53:52.500 How do you do, Miss Truman? This is a great pleasure. I've been following your career with great interest. 53:52.500 --> 53:53.500 Thank you. 53:53.500 --> 53:57.500 Tell me, how does it feel to be the daughter of a great man? 53:57.500 --> 54:06.500 How does it feel to be the son of a great man? 54:06.500 --> 54:15.500 Very well put, darling. Now we'll get the rest of the cast. Joan, Joan Davis, don't you think it's time you got up off that floor, darling? 54:15.500 --> 54:18.500 Well, I'll get up if somebody will give me a hand. 54:18.500 --> 54:23.500 All right, folks, how about a big hand for this little girl on the floor? 54:23.500 --> 54:28.500 Well, please. We're trying to work out an idea for a program for Miss Margaret Truman. 54:28.500 --> 54:34.500 Oh, oh, you got a plot going. I didn't know that. Cute, very cute. I like a plot. It's good. What's the plot? 54:34.500 --> 54:41.500 Well, Fred has an idea for a program to star Margaret Truman, and we need everybody's help. Mindy, you'll help out, won't you? 54:41.500 --> 54:43.500 Oh, sure. What do I have to do? 54:43.500 --> 54:50.500 Well, Fred's going to tell us all about that in just a minute. But first, of course, I'll start the program off by ringing my chimes like this. 54:50.500 --> 55:19.500 This is NBC, the national broadcasting company. 55:19.500 --> 55:33.500 This is the big show. And Fred Allen is about to unveil an idea for a program starring Margaret Truman. 55:33.500 --> 55:38.500 Well, Ed, programs aren't wearing veils this year. This is rather a barefaced idea. 55:38.500 --> 55:45.500 But I think Miss Truman should be presented on a discussion program where she meets many dignitaries and discusses world problems. 55:45.500 --> 55:46.500 How does that strike you, Margaret? 55:46.500 --> 55:47.500 Well, I don't know. 55:47.500 --> 55:55.500 Oh, darling, it'll be just the thing for you, a hostess on a discussion program. And I'll be right here at your side to show you what to do. 55:55.500 --> 55:57.500 Well, Fred, how do we begin? 55:57.500 --> 56:01.500 Well, it would help a lot to Lou if we could begin with a sponsor. 56:01.500 --> 56:10.500 Oh, yes, Margaret, you must have a sponsor. They give you free samples, you know. Try to get an automobile sponsor. 56:10.500 --> 56:16.500 I once had an automobile sponsor. I got more transmission belts. 56:16.500 --> 56:20.500 And they look well on you, too. 56:20.500 --> 56:24.500 Down, girl. 56:24.500 --> 56:30.500 Say, I have just such a sponsor in mind, girls. The Banking Institutions of America. 56:30.500 --> 56:44.500 Now, the program, as I see it, will start off with a theme song. Meredith, how about some banking music? 56:44.500 --> 56:51.500 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is the Margaret Truman program brought to you by the Banking Institutions of America. 56:51.500 --> 56:55.500 Friends, visit your friendly neighborhood bank. 56:55.500 --> 56:58.500 Browse around. 56:58.500 --> 57:02.500 Get acquainted with money. 57:02.500 --> 57:07.500 When you're in Washington, D.C., visit our factory where money is made. 57:07.500 --> 57:10.500 Ask for a sample. 57:10.500 --> 57:12.500 Taste it. 57:12.500 --> 57:14.500 It's made into a crisp new dollar bill. 57:14.500 --> 57:18.500 Notice that fresh mint flavor. 57:18.500 --> 57:20.500 It's rich. It's green. 57:20.500 --> 57:22.500 It's tender. 57:22.500 --> 57:25.500 It's legal tender. 57:25.500 --> 57:28.500 And now we present the star of our show, Miss Margaret Truman. 57:28.500 --> 57:30.500 Hello again. This is Margaret Truman. 57:30.500 --> 57:35.500 Thank you, Miss Truman. And now back to our sponsor. 57:35.500 --> 57:42.500 Men, banks offer opportunities for rapid advancement. Mr. Phil S., of NoTrumpIdaho, has this to say. 57:42.500 --> 57:49.500 I started working at a bank six months ago. I didn't know a thing about banking. Now I'm first vice president. 57:49.500 --> 57:56.500 And when my father abscends, I'll be president of the bank. 57:56.500 --> 58:03.500 The Banking Institutions of America have a vault to suit your every need. Mr. Douglas F., of Silly Putty, North Dakota, writes. 58:03.500 --> 58:08.500 I've been married ten years, and for ten years my wife and I each saved money in a vault. 58:08.500 --> 58:12.500 And every year on our wedding anniversary we buy each other a gift out of the money we've saved. 58:12.500 --> 58:23.500 We call them our anniversary vaults. 58:23.500 --> 58:32.500 American banks are friendly banks. Come in, even if it's only to buy a postage stamp. 58:32.500 --> 58:34.500 Miss Joan D., of New York City, says. 58:34.500 --> 58:42.500 Girls, I buy all my stamps at the bank. They have the stamp with the friendly mucilage that's kind to your tongue. 58:42.500 --> 58:54.500 Our stamps come in six delicious flavors, strawberry, cherry, raspberry, orange, lemon, and air meal. 58:54.500 --> 59:01.500 Attention, housewives. Don't experiment making your own money. Use genuine United States money. 59:01.500 --> 59:09.500 It will save you time, possibly twenty years to life. 59:09.500 --> 59:22.500 Miss T., Bankhead, part-time debutante of Montgomery, Alabama. 59:22.500 --> 59:24.500 Miss Bankhead has this to say. 59:24.500 --> 59:35.500 I have been using money for nine on to twenty years, and I've found that United States money is the ripest and greenest and richest in the world. 59:35.500 --> 59:54.500 I always look for the picture of George Washington on the label, except when I buy the large economy size with the picture of Abraham Lincoln. 59:54.500 --> 59:56.500 Miss Bankhead has this to say. 59:56.500 --> 01:00:07.500 I have been using money for nine on to twenty years, and I've found that United States money is the ripest and greenest and richest in the world. 01:00:07.500 --> 01:00:23.500 I always look for the picture of George Washington on the label, except when I buy the large economy size with the picture of Abraham Lincoln. 01:00:23.500 --> 01:00:28.500 And now, ladies and gentlemen, here is the star of our program, Miss Margaret Truman. 01:00:28.500 --> 01:00:30.500 Hello again. This is Margaret Truman. 01:00:30.500 --> 01:00:33.500 Thank you, Miss Truman, and now back to the commercial. 01:00:33.500 --> 01:00:40.500 And for this show, I gave up the Army-Navy game. 01:00:40.500 --> 01:00:43.500 Now, you wait a minute, Fred. You can't treat Margaret like that. 01:00:43.500 --> 01:00:45.500 Well, but the commercial's to Lula. 01:00:45.500 --> 01:00:47.500 Besides, I don't think the banks are a good sponsor. 01:00:47.500 --> 01:00:48.500 No. 01:00:48.500 --> 01:00:52.500 If it's going to be a discussion program, she should have an educational sponsor. 01:00:52.500 --> 01:00:57.500 All right. I tell you what, we'll get the Board of Education to sponsor it. Would that be all right with you, Margaret? 01:00:57.500 --> 01:01:02.500 Well, anything is all right, as long as I get to say something besides hello again. 01:01:02.500 --> 01:01:05.500 Oh, ad libbing already, hey? 01:01:05.500 --> 01:01:10.500 Well, now, she's right, Fred, and I think the start of program, oh, she should sing a song. How about it, Margaret? 01:01:10.500 --> 01:01:11.500 I'll be glad to. 01:01:11.500 --> 01:01:17.500 Well, do it now, Margaret. 01:01:17.500 --> 01:01:18.500 What are you going to sing, darling? 01:01:18.500 --> 01:01:22.500 I'd like to sing Dr. Frank Black's arrangement of David Popper's Gavotte. 01:01:22.500 --> 01:01:24.500 Whenever you're ready, Mr. Wilson. 01:01:24.500 --> 01:01:53.500 We are young, we are gay, and dancing a live long day. We are strong and brave, don't face the morrow, no, not fear of fate. Our is no war, the future, pain or sorrow that may be in wait. 01:01:53.500 --> 01:02:18.500 What if useless not all we? We will dance while yet we may. While yet we may. Let us begin. 01:02:23.500 --> 01:02:52.500 We are young, we are gay, and dancing a live long day. 01:02:52.500 --> 01:03:04.500 We are strong and brave, don't face the morrow, no, not fear of fate. Our is no war, the future, pain or sorrow that may be in wait. 01:03:22.500 --> 01:03:25.500 Here's a word from RCA Victor. 01:03:25.500 --> 01:03:37.500 This year on the night before Christmas, most American children and most American grownups, too, will nestle snug in their beds while visions of television sets dance in their heads. 01:03:37.500 --> 01:03:48.500 Who could help dreaming of such a sugar plum, one that sweetens your life in your choice of delicious flavors no fewer than 365 days every year? 01:03:48.500 --> 01:04:02.500 If you're the man behind Santa Claus at your house, don't decide you can't afford a television set this Christmas until you see the 18 beautiful new RCA Victor television models at your RCA Victor dealers. 01:04:02.500 --> 01:04:11.500 Divide their price tags by 365 and discover how amazingly little your daily entertainment costs per day. 01:04:11.500 --> 01:04:20.500 You'll find that most RCA Victor sets, even fabulous 16-inch consoles, cost less than one dollar a day for one year. 01:04:20.500 --> 01:04:24.500 Of course, all the years afterwards are pure gravy. 01:04:24.500 --> 01:04:34.500 Study those RCA Victor values tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say to you and all your family this very Christmas, happy looking, everyone. 01:04:34.500 --> 01:04:45.500 Margaret, darling, that song you sang a moment ago was as delightful and gracious as you are. 01:04:45.500 --> 01:04:46.500 Thank you, Caloo. 01:04:46.500 --> 01:04:51.500 Hey, Miss Truman, I didn't know you sang like that. Say, you got a nice set of pipes. 01:04:51.500 --> 01:04:56.500 Look, I'm playing at the Copa Cabana now, and I can put in a good word for you. 01:04:56.500 --> 01:04:57.500 Phil, no. 01:04:57.500 --> 01:05:01.500 What's the matter with the Copa all of a sudden? It's a good job. 01:05:01.500 --> 01:05:08.500 Miss Truman, I can get you the same deal I got. I get 50% of all the glazed fruits sold in the place. 01:05:08.500 --> 01:05:09.500 Glazed fruits? 01:05:09.500 --> 01:05:14.500 Yeah, I got a smart manager. They wanted to give me 50% of all the money from the liquor sales. 01:05:14.500 --> 01:05:18.500 Now with my manager, boy, glazed fruits. 01:05:18.500 --> 01:05:20.500 Pardon me, Mr. Silver. Will you yield? 01:05:20.500 --> 01:05:23.500 Go away, Page. You're ruining my filibuster. 01:05:23.500 --> 01:05:30.500 Gentlemen from the Copa Cabana, you must yield. I am ready to start with Miss Truman's discussion program, sponsored by the Board of Education. 01:05:30.500 --> 01:05:33.500 Oh, please do, Fred. This will be a great chance for you, Margaret. 01:05:33.500 --> 01:05:36.500 I don't know if I'll be able to handle a discussion program. 01:05:36.500 --> 01:05:42.500 Oh, it's easy, darling. I'll show you. You just watch me and do whatever I do. You can do that, can't you, dear? 01:05:42.500 --> 01:05:47.500 Well, if it was good enough for Betty Davis, it's good enough for me. 01:05:51.500 --> 01:05:54.500 Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. 01:05:54.500 --> 01:06:00.500 Oh, isn't she sweet. Go on, Fred, on with the program. 01:06:00.500 --> 01:06:04.500 Well, after Margaret finishes her song, we have a commercial, something like this. 01:06:04.500 --> 01:06:12.500 This program is brought to you each week by the Board of Education and by the thousands of wonderful school teachers barely living in your community. 01:06:12.500 --> 01:06:23.500 Friends, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Come to school, get a little knowledge, live dangerously. 01:06:23.500 --> 01:06:28.500 The schools of America are training grounds for the future. 01:06:28.500 --> 01:06:31.500 If you want to train for a military career, go to West Point. 01:06:31.500 --> 01:06:33.500 If you want to train for a naval career, go to Annapolis. 01:06:33.500 --> 01:06:36.500 If you want to train for a scientific career, go to Carnegie Tech. 01:06:36.500 --> 01:06:39.500 If you want to train for Chicago, go to Grand Central Station. 01:06:39.500 --> 01:06:54.500 And now back to our discussion program and Miss Margaret Truman. 01:06:54.500 --> 01:06:55.500 Good evening, everyone. 01:06:55.500 --> 01:06:57.500 No, no, no, darling. This is an afternoon show. 01:06:57.500 --> 01:06:59.500 Good afternoon, everyone. 01:06:59.500 --> 01:07:03.500 No, no, no, darling. Not everyone. It's good afternoon, darlings. I'll show you. 01:07:03.500 --> 01:07:06.500 This is murder, isn't it? 01:07:06.500 --> 01:07:09.500 Now, listen to this. Here's where you do it, darling. 01:07:09.500 --> 01:07:11.500 Welcome to our discussion program. 01:07:11.500 --> 01:07:17.500 And we have many dignitaries with us this afternoon who wish to discuss their problem on this open forum. 01:07:17.500 --> 01:07:19.500 You see, darling, it's very easy. 01:07:19.500 --> 01:07:22.500 Thank you, Tallulah. Good afternoon, darlings. 01:07:22.500 --> 01:07:25.500 Oh, no, no, darling. You don't have to do that. I've already done it. 01:07:25.500 --> 01:07:29.500 I should have made a deal for the glazed fruit. 01:07:29.500 --> 01:07:33.500 Now you should talk to the first dignitary whose problem you're going to discuss. 01:07:33.500 --> 01:07:35.500 Our first dignitary is the— 01:07:35.500 --> 01:07:36.500 Quite right, darling. I'll show you. 01:07:36.500 --> 01:07:39.500 I'm from Missouri, but you don't have to show me that much. 01:07:39.500 --> 01:07:48.500 Isn't he sweet? 01:07:48.500 --> 01:07:54.500 You see, darling, you must tell the people that this is an open forum discussion and anyone can say whatever he wants. 01:07:54.500 --> 01:07:55.500 Yes, anyone but me. 01:07:55.500 --> 01:07:58.500 Oh, darling, that's a very funny joke. 01:07:58.500 --> 01:08:04.500 Well, I think—pardon me, but I really think Miss Truman is right. You ought to start the program off with a good joke. 01:08:04.500 --> 01:08:08.500 No, Joan, this is a program in which we discuss problems. 01:08:08.500 --> 01:08:11.500 Well, I've got a problem with this joke. 01:08:11.500 --> 01:08:19.500 You see, I've been telling this joke for a long time, and everybody's been taking it from me and telling it in different ways, and I want to know how I can stop them. 01:08:19.500 --> 01:08:22.500 Well, that's a legitimate problem. Tell your joke, Joan. 01:08:22.500 --> 01:08:26.500 Well, it's the story of a man who went into a grocery store and said, 01:08:26.500 --> 01:08:34.500 How much are your tomatoes? And he said 30 cents a pound, and the man said, The grocer across the street only charges 20 cents a pound. 01:08:34.500 --> 01:08:38.500 And the grocer said, Well, why don't you go across the street and buy them for 20 cents? 01:08:38.500 --> 01:08:41.500 And the man said, They're all out of tomatoes across the street. 01:08:41.500 --> 01:08:51.500 And the grocer said, If I was out of tomatoes, I'd only charge 20 cents also. 01:08:51.500 --> 01:08:55.500 Boy, have I got a problem, huh? 01:08:55.500 --> 01:09:02.500 Well, thanks. You've been a swell bunch of seats. 01:09:02.500 --> 01:09:08.500 If that's your problem, darling, you have no problem. Anybody who takes that joke deserves it. 01:09:08.500 --> 01:09:15.500 Well, hi-ho, it's time for another commercial. Friends, send your children to the schools of America. 01:09:15.500 --> 01:09:19.500 Remember, there is an American flag over every schoolhouse. 01:09:19.500 --> 01:09:23.500 No other country can make that statement. 01:09:23.500 --> 01:09:30.500 And remember, in American schools, the janitors, the groundkeepers, and the plumbers all agree that they are the highest paid in the world. 01:09:30.500 --> 01:09:36.500 No schoolteacher can make that statement. 01:09:36.500 --> 01:09:46.500 Parents, parents, does your child say, I ain't got? Well, get her some. 01:09:46.500 --> 01:09:48.500 And now back to our program, and Miss Truman. 01:09:48.500 --> 01:09:50.500 Oh, thank you, darling. And now... 01:09:50.500 --> 01:09:53.500 Excuse me, Tallulah. I think he said Miss Truman. 01:09:53.500 --> 01:09:56.500 Oh, yes, so he did, didn't he? 01:09:56.500 --> 01:10:05.500 Well, all you have to say, darling, is that our next guest is Mr. Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., Ambassador from Bosnia, who has come to America with a special problem concerning his country. 01:10:05.500 --> 01:10:09.500 Hello, Mr. Fairbanks. You are the Ambassador from Bosnia? 01:10:09.500 --> 01:10:19.500 Well, not exactly. You see, in Bosnia, it's divided into two parts, Upper Bosnia and Lower Bosnia. 01:10:19.500 --> 01:10:22.500 I am from Lower Bosnia. 01:10:22.500 --> 01:10:25.500 And where exactly is Lower Bosnia? 01:10:25.500 --> 01:10:29.500 Just underneath Upper Bosnia. 01:10:29.500 --> 01:10:34.500 That's a neat arrangement. And what is your mission here, Ambassador? 01:10:34.500 --> 01:10:45.500 Well, you see, we are an impoverished country. We need money, but we have a problem. We are too small for the Marshall Plan and too large for the Morris Plan. 01:10:45.500 --> 01:10:47.500 Well, how do you expect to get money here? 01:10:47.500 --> 01:10:51.500 I'd hope to get on one of your quiz programs. 01:10:51.500 --> 01:10:54.500 Oh, I see. And what do you need the money for? 01:10:54.500 --> 01:11:00.500 Well, we need money to modernize our army so that we can live in peace. 01:11:00.500 --> 01:11:02.500 How large an army do you have? 01:11:02.500 --> 01:11:11.500 Well, let me see. There is Gustav, Johan, Meyer. No, no, no, Meyer, he is our Navy. 01:11:11.500 --> 01:11:14.500 Don't you have any sort of income in Bosnia? 01:11:14.500 --> 01:11:26.500 Well, we do a fairly large import-export business. Last year my country imported from the United States alone four ashtrays, two three-way lamps, or was it three two-way lamps? 01:11:26.500 --> 01:11:31.500 And four electric blankets. But we had to return the electric blankets. 01:11:31.500 --> 01:11:32.500 Oh, why was that? 01:11:32.500 --> 01:11:34.500 Wrong current. 01:11:34.500 --> 01:11:35.500 Oh, I see. 01:11:35.500 --> 01:11:37.500 No, DC. 01:11:37.500 --> 01:11:40.500 Now, wait a minute, Doug, that was my joke. 01:11:40.500 --> 01:11:44.500 I'm sorry, that joke was one of our imports. 01:11:44.500 --> 01:11:46.500 And what do you export, sir? 01:11:46.500 --> 01:11:49.500 Only one thing, plebos. 01:11:49.500 --> 01:11:51.500 Plebos? 01:11:51.500 --> 01:12:03.500 And even with plebos we are having trouble. You see, in lower Bosnia we charge 30 cents a pound for plebos. In upper Bosnia charges only 20 cents a pound. 01:12:03.500 --> 01:12:06.500 Well, how can upper Bosnia afford to undersell you? 01:12:06.500 --> 01:12:09.500 Because they are out of plebos. 01:12:09.500 --> 01:12:12.500 Yes, and if you were out of them you would charge 20 cents too. 01:12:12.500 --> 01:12:13.500 That is correct. 01:12:13.500 --> 01:12:17.500 Tell me, Ambassador, just exactly what are plebos? 01:12:17.500 --> 01:12:20.500 Cucumbers. 01:12:20.500 --> 01:12:25.500 Oh, good, for a minute I thought I was going to tell my tomato joke. 01:12:25.500 --> 01:12:31.500 Well, that was a very, very interesting problem, Mr. Fairbanks. Now, Margaret, you should thank Mr. Fairbanks. 01:12:31.500 --> 01:12:33.500 You mean you're actually going to let me say something? 01:12:33.500 --> 01:12:35.500 Certainly, darling, it's your program. Just say thanks. 01:12:35.500 --> 01:12:43.500 All right. Mr. Fairbanks, I want to thank you for coming on our program. And your problem has touched me deeply. 01:12:43.500 --> 01:12:47.500 And I want to assure you that we will give it the utmost consideration. 01:12:47.500 --> 01:12:52.500 And please take with you our hopes for a successful solution to your country's problem. 01:12:52.500 --> 01:12:57.500 Thank you for coming over. Thanks very much. Thanks a million. 01:12:57.500 --> 01:13:00.500 What a ham. 01:13:00.500 --> 01:13:04.500 All right, who's the next guest on our open discussion program? How about you, Phil Silver? 01:13:04.500 --> 01:13:10.500 Well, as long as everybody else is beef and I got something I like to say. But I don't suppose anybody would be interested. 01:13:10.500 --> 01:13:12.500 I suppose not, darling. Who's next? 01:13:12.500 --> 01:13:16.500 Wait, wait, wait a minute. That's my trouble. Everybody takes me literally. 01:13:16.500 --> 01:13:23.500 Like a few years ago when I decided to go into pictures, I told my agent to get me a contract with Fox. So he got me a contract with Fox. 01:13:23.500 --> 01:13:24.500 20th Century Fox? 01:13:24.500 --> 01:13:32.500 No, I.J. Fox. I should have known when the guy came over with the contract. He was a short, stocky man with gray Persian hair. 01:13:32.500 --> 01:13:34.500 And a cold nose. 01:13:34.500 --> 01:13:43.500 Cold nose. Funny, funny. Well, you may or you may not have seen me in pictures, which is of no consequence, because I always play the same part. 01:13:43.500 --> 01:13:51.500 My name is always Blinky, and I'm always a friend of the hero. I love the hero in the picture. His problems become my problems. 01:13:51.500 --> 01:13:59.500 I'm usually in musical pictures, technicolor musical pictures. Everybody's happy in the picture. That is everybody but me. 01:13:59.500 --> 01:14:08.500 Because always in the beginning of the picture, the heroine, usually played by Betty Grable, has a fight with the hero, usually played by John Payne. 01:14:08.500 --> 01:14:17.500 And he walks out on her, leaving me alone with Grable, which is not exactly a bad situation, alone with Grable. 01:14:17.500 --> 01:14:22.500 You see, I come from a neighborhood in Brooklyn. I know what to do in a situation like this. 01:14:22.500 --> 01:14:27.500 But do I get a chance to show Grable I'm able? Do I get a chance to show Betty I'm ready? 01:14:27.500 --> 01:14:34.500 No. I gotta go looking for him. And where do the heroes go when they're carrying the torch in these pictures? 01:14:34.500 --> 01:14:42.500 Always the same place, the Barbary Coast. Once I'd like to see a guy go to Lindy's, I gotta have a sandwich while I'm looking for him. 01:14:42.500 --> 01:14:50.500 Well, what's the use of talking about it? Let me show you a scene from this tight picture, usually called, Hello Something Hello. 01:14:50.500 --> 01:15:06.500 Well, when I finally find the hero, he's at the bar, and I walk up to him and I say, John, I've been looking all over for you. You remember me, Blinky? 01:15:06.500 --> 01:15:16.500 John, I got the stuff in the car. That's my opening line in every picture. I got the stuff in the car. What stuff? I've never been able to find out. 01:15:16.500 --> 01:15:25.500 So if he wants it, I got it. John, I say, John, come back to that girl, Betty. She loves you. She misses you. Why, she hasn't slept a wink since you left. 01:15:25.500 --> 01:15:34.500 How could she? You took the mattress, John. Why are you hitting me, John? One lousy joke you hit Blinky? Go on back to that girl. Yes, I love her too. 01:15:34.500 --> 01:15:41.500 But after all, finders keepers, losers weepers. This later becomes the hit song of the picture, which they don't let me sing. 01:15:41.500 --> 01:15:47.500 No, no, John, no. Don't say goodbye. Just go. It'll be easier this way. I'll take care of the check. 01:15:47.500 --> 01:15:54.500 Well, I take care of so many of the hero's checks, but at the end of the picture, he saved enough money to marry Betty, and they go away on their honeymoon. 01:15:54.500 --> 01:16:01.500 And now, from the first time in the picture, he doesn't need me. Then there's another type picture. It's called the college musical. 01:16:01.500 --> 01:16:07.500 For this, they usually use people under contact. It's cheaper that way, easier on the budget. 01:16:07.500 --> 01:16:16.500 And that's why you see Walter Pigeon as a freshman, Marjorie Mayne as a coed, and I'm still Blinky, a friend of the hero. 01:16:16.500 --> 01:16:22.500 Let me show you a scene from Hello, College Days, Hello. 01:16:22.500 --> 01:16:33.500 Give me the axe, give me the axe, rickety, rickety, rickety, rickety, racks, yay, team. I'm too old for this. 01:16:33.500 --> 01:16:38.500 Hello, boys and girls. Where's my old friend John, who is the star quarterback of the team? 01:16:38.500 --> 01:16:42.500 What? He's been thrown off the team for giving away the signals to the rival coach. 01:16:42.500 --> 01:16:48.500 Oh, where is he? Where is he? Locked himself in his room. Well, I better go and get him. 01:16:48.500 --> 01:16:55.500 John, John, open the door, John. It's me, Blinky. John, we only got three minutes for the... I got the stuff in the car. 01:16:55.500 --> 01:17:00.500 Come on, John. Betty knows you're not guilty. She told everybody she saw you in the chemistry class 01:17:00.500 --> 01:17:06.500 when you were mixing the Bunsen burner with the X24 formula, which came out blue. And then Zelda was there. 01:17:06.500 --> 01:17:10.500 Zelda came with Rodney, the dean's son, and they saw you, and they came out and Zelda said, 01:17:10.500 --> 01:17:17.500 Did you see John? And Betty says, Yes, I saw him, Zelda. And Zelda says, Well, I saw him. You like this plot? 01:17:17.500 --> 01:17:23.500 John, open the door. John, remember the old college spirit. Give him the axe, give him the axe, rickety, rickety, rickety, racks, yay, team. 01:17:23.500 --> 01:17:28.500 You got to be a football hero to get your love with the B.V. Zell. 01:17:28.500 --> 01:17:34.500 Come on, Johnny, open the door. I got the stuff in the car, John. Open the door. John, why don't you answer me? 01:17:34.500 --> 01:17:38.500 Oh, I forgot. In this picture, the hero was Dan Daly. No wonder he'd answer me. 01:17:38.500 --> 01:17:47.500 Dan, Dan, you've got to be a football hero to get your love with the beautiful girl. Yay, team. 01:17:47.500 --> 01:17:53.500 And then there's another type picture, an epic. For this picture, they send 500 technicians to darkest Africa. 01:17:53.500 --> 01:18:01.500 They hire big writers, big actors. Everything's on a high plane, lots of changes. But I'm still blinky. 01:18:01.500 --> 01:18:07.500 Let me show you a scene from Hello, King Solomon's Minds. Hello. 01:18:07.500 --> 01:18:25.500 Lost, lost in the jungle, the intense heat marooned, maroon or maroon. 01:18:25.500 --> 01:18:29.500 Come along here, on the double. Here, you native boys, quickly. Punch up. Come here, boy. 01:18:29.500 --> 01:18:34.500 Have you seen a tall man? I've been looking around for 19 months. My goodness, there he is. 01:18:34.500 --> 01:18:40.500 My friend John. John, at last I found you. You remember me, kind old Blinky? 01:18:40.500 --> 01:18:44.500 Come on, John. They know you didn't do the crime because Zelda told the police. 01:18:44.500 --> 01:18:49.500 Zelda was there. Zelda is the producer's wife. She likes the name mentioned in every picture. 01:18:49.500 --> 01:18:53.500 Come on, John. Don't be a fool. I came here to rescue you. No, go back, John. Go. Listen. 01:18:53.500 --> 01:18:59.500 I got the stuff in a safari, John. Go on, John. Go back to Betty, who loves you. No. 01:18:59.500 --> 01:19:04.500 Don't say goodbye, John. It'll be easier this way. Just go. Go, John. 01:19:04.500 --> 01:19:09.500 What have I got to look forward to? What's to become of me? 01:19:09.500 --> 01:19:19.500 I'm always a friend of the hero. Always the hero's friend. 01:19:19.500 --> 01:19:24.500 The pictures are as usual, designed to please the masses. 01:19:24.500 --> 01:19:29.500 The girls keep playing hard to get. The boys keep making passes. 01:19:29.500 --> 01:19:35.500 And I have to stand there watching them while they steam up my glasses. 01:19:35.500 --> 01:19:44.500 Where will this frustration end? I'm always the hero's... 01:19:44.500 --> 01:19:54.500 I got the stuff in the car. See you in a little bit. 01:19:54.500 --> 01:20:08.500 And now Bob Hope would like to put the word in. Go ahead, Bob, darling. 01:20:08.500 --> 01:20:10.500 This is Bob Hope. Can we steal a second? 01:20:10.500 --> 01:20:13.500 Say, Bob, did you notice there's a new Chesterfield poster of you around town? 01:20:13.500 --> 01:20:16.500 Yeah, I saw one in a drug store the other day. I'm dressed up as Santa Claus. 01:20:16.500 --> 01:20:20.500 Yeah, and you're holding a carton of Chesterfields with a picture of Bing, you know who, dressed up as Santa Claus. 01:20:20.500 --> 01:20:23.500 And you're saying, for Christmas gifts, here's the answer. 01:20:23.500 --> 01:20:25.500 Yep, Crosby for Christmas. 01:20:25.500 --> 01:20:29.500 Bob, seriously, why did they make Crosby pop a Santa Claus in the Christmas carton instead of you? 01:20:29.500 --> 01:20:31.500 Well, hi, by tradition, Santa Claus is an old man. 01:20:31.500 --> 01:20:33.500 Yes. 01:20:33.500 --> 01:20:36.500 Always carrying a sack full. 01:20:36.500 --> 01:20:40.500 Well, in all fairness to Bing, Bob, I must say it's a very attractive gift. 01:20:40.500 --> 01:20:46.500 And it's packed with 200 of those always milder Chesterfields, which make us find a gift as anyone could give or anyone could get. 01:20:46.500 --> 01:20:51.500 And folks, if you want to prove that just for yourself, make that Chesterfield mildness test. 01:20:51.500 --> 01:20:53.500 Open them, smell them, compare them, and smoke them. 01:20:53.500 --> 01:20:57.500 Chesterfield, Chesterfield always wins first place. 01:20:57.500 --> 01:21:01.500 That milder mild tobacco never leaves an aftertaste. 01:21:01.500 --> 01:21:05.500 So open a pack, give them a smell, then you'll smoke them. 01:21:05.500 --> 01:21:10.500 See you Tuesday night, folks, for Chesterfield. 01:21:16.500 --> 01:21:19.500 Well, now that Bob Hope has solved our Christmas problem, who's left? 01:21:19.500 --> 01:21:22.500 Oh, Mindy Carson, we haven't heard from you. What is your problem, darling? 01:21:22.500 --> 01:21:23.500 Oh, I have no problem. 01:21:23.500 --> 01:21:24.500 You what? 01:21:24.500 --> 01:21:26.500 Yes, I'm quite happy. 01:21:26.500 --> 01:21:33.500 My husband's getting me a mink coat for Christmas, my RCA Victor records are selling well, and last week I lost two pounds. 01:21:33.500 --> 01:21:37.500 So you see, I have no problem. I'm very happy, quite contented. 01:21:37.500 --> 01:21:40.500 How dare you be happy? 01:21:40.500 --> 01:21:45.500 Oh, Miss Bankhead, I have a problem. I'd like to enter into this discussion program. 01:21:45.500 --> 01:21:46.500 Yes, Mary? 01:21:46.500 --> 01:21:50.500 Well, I wrote a special arrangement for a boing quartet. 01:21:50.500 --> 01:21:52.500 Uh-huh. A what? 01:21:52.500 --> 01:21:59.500 A boing quartet. And I thought that maybe you and Miss Truman and Joan and Mindy would do it for me. 01:21:59.500 --> 01:22:01.500 Can you boing, Joan? 01:22:01.500 --> 01:22:06.500 Well, if I bend over once more, I think I will boing. 01:22:06.500 --> 01:22:09.500 Well, now we need a male soloist. How about you, Fred? 01:22:09.500 --> 01:22:12.500 Well, I'm the right agenda, Meredith. 01:22:12.500 --> 01:22:21.500 Splendid. You see, I've always wanted to have a glee club just like Fred Wernher, you know, with a boing quartet. 01:22:21.500 --> 01:22:23.500 Could we try it with Down By the Old Mill Stream? 01:22:23.500 --> 01:22:30.500 All right, Meredith Wilson, the orchestra and chorus, the boing quartet, and our guest vocalist, Mr. Fred Allen. 01:22:30.500 --> 01:22:34.500 Darlings, I hope you get a big boing out of this. 01:23:01.500 --> 01:23:10.500 Down 01:23:12.500 --> 01:23:20.500 By the old mill stream 01:23:20.500 --> 01:23:31.500 By the old mill stream 01:23:31.500 --> 01:23:42.500 Where I first met you 01:23:42.500 --> 01:23:54.500 With your eyes so avalue 01:23:55.500 --> 01:24:02.500 Dressed in gin 01:24:02.500 --> 01:24:12.500 And two 01:24:12.500 --> 01:24:17.500 It was there I knew 01:24:17.500 --> 01:24:19.500 Boing, boing, boing 01:24:19.500 --> 01:24:31.500 Boing, boing, boing 01:24:31.500 --> 01:24:39.500 I thought one 01:24:39.500 --> 01:24:43.500 Hot taro 01:24:43.500 --> 01:24:50.500 You were sixteen 01:24:50.500 --> 01:24:51.500 How old was the girl? 01:24:51.500 --> 01:24:54.500 Sixteen 01:24:54.500 --> 01:24:57.500 My village queen 01:24:57.500 --> 01:25:08.500 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen 01:25:08.500 --> 01:25:15.500 By the old mill 01:25:15.500 --> 01:25:18.500 On a sharp la re 01:25:18.500 --> 01:25:21.500 La re 01:25:37.500 --> 01:25:40.500 Meredith, darling, that was wonderful, wonderful fun for all of us. 01:25:40.500 --> 01:25:41.500 Didn't you enjoy it, Margaret? 01:25:41.500 --> 01:25:44.500 Oh, yes, let's do it again. 01:25:44.500 --> 01:25:47.500 Oh, excuse me, darling, it's the telephone. 01:25:47.500 --> 01:25:49.500 Hello, yes. 01:25:49.500 --> 01:25:50.500 What? 01:25:50.500 --> 01:25:53.500 No, no, I'm terribly sorry. 01:25:53.500 --> 01:25:57.500 Well, it's very kind of you to offer, but we don't need a piano player. 01:26:01.500 --> 01:26:04.500 Tallulah, Tallulah, you mean? 01:26:04.500 --> 01:26:06.500 Yes, Hoagy Carmichael, my dear. 01:26:06.500 --> 01:26:07.500 Hoagy, Hoagy. 01:26:07.500 --> 01:26:09.500 All to play the piano for us. 01:26:09.500 --> 01:26:11.500 Well, Margaret, we're nearing the close of our show. 01:26:11.500 --> 01:26:14.500 Is there someone special you would like to say goodnight to? 01:26:14.500 --> 01:26:17.500 Of course, I'm trying to be delicate about it. 01:26:17.500 --> 01:26:19.500 I could give you a slight hint. 01:26:19.500 --> 01:26:23.500 Would you like to say goodnight to Washington? 01:26:23.500 --> 01:26:24.500 Oh, sure. 01:26:24.500 --> 01:26:26.500 Good night, George. 01:26:28.500 --> 01:26:30.500 Well, I asked for it. 01:26:30.500 --> 01:26:33.500 Well, this is about it, folks, and try to be with us again next week. 01:26:33.500 --> 01:26:34.500 Won't you, darlings? 01:26:34.500 --> 01:26:40.500 Our guests will be Jim and Durante, Clifton Webb, Emma Jean Coker, Mindy Carson, Eddie Arnold and others. 01:26:40.500 --> 01:26:50.500 Until then, may the good Lord bless and keep you, whether near or far away. 01:26:50.500 --> 01:27:00.500 May you find that long-awaited golden day today. 01:27:00.500 --> 01:27:01.500 Joan? 01:27:01.500 --> 01:27:10.500 May your troubles all be small ones and your fortunes ten times ten. 01:27:10.500 --> 01:27:11.500 Fred? 01:27:11.500 --> 01:27:20.500 May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again. 01:27:20.500 --> 01:27:21.500 Margaret? 01:27:21.500 --> 01:27:31.500 May you walk with sunlight shining and a blue bird in every tree. 01:27:31.500 --> 01:27:41.500 May there be a silver lining back of every cloud you see. 01:27:41.500 --> 01:27:43.500 Douglas? 01:27:43.500 --> 01:27:51.500 Fill your dreams with sweet tomorrows, never mind what might have been. Phil? 01:27:51.500 --> 01:28:01.500 May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again. 01:28:01.500 --> 01:28:02.500 Pioneers? 01:28:02.500 --> 01:28:12.500 May you walk with sunlight shining and a blue bird in every tree. 01:28:12.500 --> 01:28:22.500 May there be a silver lining back of every cloud you see. 01:28:22.500 --> 01:28:35.500 Fill your dreams with sweet tomorrows, never mind what might have been. 01:28:35.500 --> 01:28:44.500 May the good Lord bless and keep you until we meet again. 01:28:44.500 --> 01:29:04.500 May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet, till we meet again. 01:29:04.500 --> 01:29:06.500 Good night, darlings. 01:29:34.500 --> 01:29:36.500 Good night.