You are about to be entertained by some of the biggest names in show business.
For the next hour and 30 minutes, this program will present in person such bright stars as...
Fred Allen.
Mindy Carson.
John Davie.
Douglas Fairbanks.
Bill Silvers.
The Sons of the Pioneers.
Margaret Truman.
Meredith Wilson.
And my name, darlings, is Tallulah Bankhead.
The National Broadcasting Company presents...
The Big Show.
90 minutes with the most scintillating personalities in the entertainment world.
Brought to you this Sunday and every Sunday at the same time as the Sunday feature of NBC's All-Star Festival.
And here is your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable Tallulah Bankhead.
Well, darlings, we've been doing The Big Show now for a month of Sundays.
But today, with Miss Margaret Truman on the program, there's a special feeling of excitement backstage.
And I suppose you all are wondering how we were able to get such a prominent personage as Miss Truman to be guest on our program.
Well, really, all it took was a telephone call.
I called a certain party and that party called another party, who in turn called another party.
And naturally, these were all Democratic parties.
Of course, some of the other performers who have never met Miss Truman are a little nervous about it.
Well, not me. I'm not nervous.
Joan Davies.
You say you're not nervous, Joan, about meeting Margaret Truman?
Well, why, be I should.
I say to be nervous.
About?
In fact, I'm needing forward-looking-er.
Oh, you're in great shape, darling.
In fact, you're fabulous.
Well, you're not built so hot yourself.
Look, Miss Bankette, if you're really nervous about meeting Miss Truman, you can just stick close to me.
I'll cover up any mistakes that you might make.
You'll cover up any mistakes I make?
Oh, sure. I'd just be glad to.
I know how it is when you're not a celebrity and you meet a celebrity like Miss Truman.
I'm sure you're bound to get nervous.
But out in Hollywood, I see celebrities all the time.
Yeah, well, I live right across the street from where Guy Kibbe used to live.
No.
Yeah.
One of us ought to stop gargling the drain of.
Yeah, you know, I know a lot of celebrities. Big names like that all around me.
Darling, you know the name I have made in the fitters.
Yeah, and they better not let me hear them saying it.
My dear Joan.
Oh, you don't have to thank me.
I don't know why I beat my head against the wall talking to you.
Well, maybe you're trying to get a shape you like.
Look, Joan.
We happen to have Margaret Truman on our show tonight, and I'd hope to start the show off on a high thing.
Now, darling, please, would you say as little as possible to Miss Truman?
Because frankly, I look upon your stupidity with the utmost disapproval.
Well, I look upon your disapproval with the utmost of stupidity.
How else, darling?
Joan, we should all try to act our best and look our best today.
Well, I look my best. Don't you like my gown?
Oh, yes, dear, I always have.
Well, I like the gown you're wearing, Tallulah.
Thank you, Joan.
You're pretty dressed up for a radio announcer.
Now, look here, you... Oh, I beg your pardon.
You're my guest.
You're sorry I'm your guest?
Yes. Oh, no. I mean, I'm just sorry I lost my temper.
I'm glad you like my gown, Joan, but really, it's nothing.
Almost.
If it was any lower on top and any higher on the bottom, it'd be a belt.
And I specifically asked them to send me Joan Davis, not Betty.
Well, with that dress you're wearing, we've practically got all about Eve.
I will have you know, my pet, that this gown cost me $750, not including the tax.
Oh, they should have included a few tax.
At least some pins with it.
Now, look at my dress. It only cost $600.
Yes, it's lovely, darling. Where's the government bond, darling?
Government bond?
Well, surely for $600, they gave you a $500 bond with that dress.
Tell me, dear, where is the tea that came with that bag you're wearing?
Bag? This is the finest satin.
Well, if you ask me, it's too shiny.
My new satin gown is shiny where?
Where it's sat in.
If you don't mind, darling, let's drop that topic.
Yeah, well, it's your topic. You can drop it where you want.
Oh, now, Joan, darling, please, let's not stand here bickering.
No, I didn't bick.
Now, Miss Truman will be here soon. Are you sure you know how to act?
Oh, sure. I read about it in an etiquette book. If I'm a man, I bow, and if I'm a woman, I courtesy.
Are you having difficulty making up your mind, darling?
No, it's not so hard. I only get my choice of two.
I don't think, though, that I better bow in this dress, so I'll just courtesy.
I'd show you what I mean, but I only got one good courtesy left in me, and I'm sort of saving that for Miss Truman.
I can get down once, but I may never get up again.
I may have to do the rest of the whole show from a kneeling position.
Oh, Joan, darling, you don't have to courtesy.
Margaret Truman is just like any other normal American girl whose father is president.
Yep, I just can't get over it. She must be brilliant.
Think of it. She's only in her twenties, and already she's the daughter of the president.
Oh, that reminds me. I must make sure Meredith Wilson has the music ready for her.
Oh, Meredith, darling.
Yes, Miss Bankhead?
Meredith, darling, is your orchestra all ready for the president's daughter when she gets here?
Miss Petrillo is coming here today.
I happen to be talking about Margaret Truman, and if possible, I'd like to have your orchestra on their very best behavior.
Oh, they will be. I had a little trouble with the cellist, but he finally took off his landing button.
I'll have them play something. I want to make sure they're at least in tune.
Have you got anything handy there, Meredith?
Sure. I've got a tune here called This Is It.
Ladies and gentlemen, here's a bright, novelty tune, Meredith Wilson and the Big Show Orchestra and Chorus, in Meredith's latest song, This Is It.
When I was very young I once got struck by lightning
And once I fell downstairs with a barrel of beer
I once shot a firecracker off in a grand piano
But all that rattle and all that bang was just so much less when for a rang
Compared to what you've done to me, my dear
This is it, this is it
This is knock-down drag out to Consolid Cola
This is it, this is it
This is one big slam bang straight I'm off the doctor
This is everything my folks gave me advice about
Mama mia, where were you when all the lights went out?
This is it, stars above
This is knock-down drag out to Consolid Cola
This is everything my folks gave me advice about
Mama mia, where were you when all the lights went out?
This is it, this is it
This is knock-down drag out to Consolid Cola
This is everything my folks gave me advice about
Mama mia, where were you when all the lights went out?
This is it, stars above
This is knock-down drag out to Consolid Cola
This is it, stars above
This is knock-down drag out to Consolid Cola
This is it, stars above
In these days of iron curtains, brutal tyrannies, mysterious disappearances and sudden deaths, it is difficult for fiction to rival the terror and violence commonplace in the world today.
It is a tribute to fine artistry in production, writing and performance that a smash new film does succeed in bringing to life on the screen a hair-raising adventure that matches today's realities.
We are privileged to bring you on the big show a portion of that picture.
So here is its star, Mr. Douglas Fairbanks Jr. in Columbia Pictures' fine new release, State Secret.
My name is Marlow, Dr. John Marlow. I have a reservation on a plane to Bosnia.
Thank you.
Dr. Marlow, could I have a word with you?
You know perfectly well that as a doctor I can't give interviews to the press.
We understand you're flying over to Bosnia this morning to receive the Kepler Medal and to demonstrate your new technique in operation.
Yes, that's right.
What about the political angle? After all, you're an American. Your country's relations with General Issa Moneva's government are, well, not exactly friendly.
I am an American doctor living in London. I shall continue to be an American all the way.
But first I am a doctor and totally uninterested in politics.
It seems to me that the Bosnian Congress of Science has made a gesture which places medicine above politics.
I am just returning that gesture, that's all. Good morning, gentlemen.
Attention, please. Flight 505 for Bosnia landing at Gate 12. All aboard, please.
Welcome to Bosnia, Dr. Marlow. I am Dr. Rivo, president of the Medical Institute.
Oh, how do you do?
And may I present Colonel Galcon, personal representative of our Prime Minister General Issa Moneva.
I bring you personal greetings from General Issa Moneva.
He bids you welcome and offers his sincere apologies that affairs of state make it impossible for him to welcome you himself.
Thank you, Colonel Galcon. Gentlemen, please convey my sincerest thanks to the General Issa Moneva, my deepest appreciation for the honor which Bosnia has seen fit to pay me.
You know, gentlemen, somehow I've got the impression that General Issa Moneva was here to greet me. His pictures are everywhere.
It's the first thing I saw when I got off the plane.
Indeed, yes, Dr. Marlow. The people insist on it. General Issa Moneva is very close to their hearts.
Shall we go to the car? I've arranged that there be no customs formalities.
Our itinerary is quite heavy, but naturally we want to get to the medal presentation ceremony as quickly as possible.
And now, Dr. Marlow, it is my very great privilege as representative of our Prime Minister General Issa Moneva to present to you the first American ever to receive it, the Kepler Gold Medal,
in recognition of your outstanding contribution to science.
Thank you, sir. Thank you.
In developing a new surgical technique for treatment of a disease until now invariably fatal, we are also most grateful for your willingness to share your knowledge by demonstrating your technique to our leading specialists.
Thank you, Colonel Galcon.
Also, we felt you'd like to demonstrate your operative technique to our surgeons as soon as possible.
Of course, gentlemen, the sooner the better.
Good. I've arranged for the demonstration to be at my clinic where we have an excellent new operating theater.
Oh, that'll be fine.
I've had the patient moved there. If you're willing, I'll order the car and escort at once.
By all means.
I hope you won't think we are rushing things, but since you insist on leaving tomorrow afternoon...
I'm afraid I have no choice, Colonel Galcon. I have appointments.
But you will go back to London with a horribly antiseptic impression of us.
No.
Can't I persuade you to join my party later on a tour of our more decadent nightclubs?
Well, I'd like to, but I'll need sleep tonight.
It's shameful we are exploiting you, but as we are unlikely to meet again, I'll say goodbye.
Goodbye, Colonel Galcon, and thank you.
The car is waiting, Dr. Marlowe.
I'm ready, Dr. Revo. Oh, I can't very well walk out of here wearing this medal, can I? I look a little ostentatious.
Besides, it's quite heavy.
Solid gold, as is the box.
Does that so?
But permit me. I'll place it in its case and guard it carefully until we return from the clinic.
Oh, good. Now, about this patient, can you tell me something of the history?
I have everything here. You can go over the records in the car.
Oh, very thorough. Tell me, who is the patient?
A middle-aged man.
The name?
Well, does it matter? This way, Dr. Marlowe.
Have you finished examining the patient, Dr. Marlowe?
Why, yes, I think so. Everything seems to be all right. Nothing abnormal here.
Yes, sir, I think you're going to come out fine.
There, there. Don't look so frightened. We're going to make a new man of you.
What's he saying?
Why, he said, thank you, thank you.
Well, you can prepare him now. We'll operate as soon as I finish scrubbing up.
Very good, doctor. The surgeons have already assembled in the operating theater.
Oh, you mustn't keep them waiting, eh? All right, I won't be more than a few minutes.
I usually prefer a paramedian incision in these cases, gentlemen.
Though I've done a few with a cotchis incision.
Sponge, please. I said, sponge. Thank you.
If the others in the operating theater to see this, you doctors here in the operating room better stand back from the table.
Please. Very well, we'll continue.
It is essential that the trauma of the blood vessels be reduced to a minimum by exercising great care in their handling in view of the danger of post-operative thrombosis.
I've asked you, gentlemen, not to crowd me. Will you kindly step back?
Scalpel. I said scalpel.
What's the matter with you people? What's wrong here?
The patient... Pulse. Risen slightly.
Color? Good. Quite good, doctor.
There's too much tension here. Too much fumbling.
Obvious, too, that half of you standing in this operating room are not doctors at all.
Take off that patient's mask.
Dr. Marlowe, I beg of you...
Take off that anesthetic mask. I want to see the patient's face.
But, please, doctor...
Take your hand off my arm, Dr. Lebow. Remove that mask.
This is not the man I examined before.
This man... This man is the man on the posters.
This man is Generalissimo Neva, the dictator of Bosnia.
Continue the operation, Dr. Marlowe.
Of course. What kind of a doctor do you think I am?
Scalpel.
Oblively, now. Clamps.
May I congratulate you, Dr. Marlowe. That was a magnificent job.
I hope you're satisfied, Colonel Galcom.
If I hadn't betrayed myself by yielding to an impulse and crowding you in the operating room,
you would not have noticed me, not recognized me, not become suspicious,
not discovered who your patient really was.
But it is too late for that, is it not? Much too late.
I expected to be treated according to elementary civilized standards of behavior.
Obviously, I was mistaken.
I can only beg your pardon.
I am not interested. This has been a gross abuse of confidence.
I accept full responsibility.
I should like a car to take me back immediately.
Will the patient recover?
You had better ask General Neva. His guest is as good as mine.
How long will it be before he is out of danger?
What's that got to do with this? You're going to explain this to Washington and London.
Would you say 10 days should tell whether or not the operation was successful?
About that.
Just a moment, Dr. Marlowe. I don't think you can leave just yet.
Oh, yes, I'm leaving, Colonel Galcom.
If you haven't heard the last of this, I can promise you.
I said I don't think you can leave, Dr. Marlowe.
If you try to...
That's better, Doctor. Just bow to the inevitable.
Well, Colonel, I hear I'm to be permitted to leave at last.
You heard correctly, Doctor. The 10 days are up.
The General seemingly has made a complete recovery.
So here is your plane reservation.
Time of departure?
Half an hour. My own guards will see to it that you are taken safely to the field.
Thank you.
Oh, not at all, Doctor.
You have, of course, our harmless apologies for the unfortunate slugging, the detention, the assorted, shall I say, abuses?
You might very well say, Colonel.
But one might speculate upon what would have happened if the General had died.
Your little dictatorship would have fallen apart.
Oh, no. The people would never be permitted to know that he was dead.
What?
Oh, please don't be naive. Every contingency has been taken care of.
The people would not know, and one of the Generalissimo's doubles would have ruled on, merely.
Credit. But I would...
Exactly. Could we have let you return to England?
What do you mean?
An unfortunate accident, shall we say? On the way to the airport or in the plane itself?
You're not serious. You wouldn't have me murdered.
Of course I would. What is one life against the security of a whole state?
Oh, by the way, here is your medal. You forgot it.
Thanks. Thanks for showing me the reverse side.
But we are only amusing ourselves within an exercise in theory.
A sort of chest problem, eh?
But why are you letting me go now? You know very well that I'll make a full report.
We shall simply deny.
Come.
Very well, Andre. Wait in the car. The doctor will be down presently.
The doctor will go now.
Wait.
The plane will keep.
One for the road, doctor.
Why not, Colonel? Your ethics are unspeakable, but your cellar is excellent.
To your very good health.
May you live long to exercise your brilliant talent for the benefit of humanity.
I dreamt to...
Dr. Evo, is there something I can do for you?
Generalissimo, Eva...
He's dead.
So? The chest problem is no longer theoretical, Dr. Malo.
It is our move, I believe.
No. It's my move, Colonel.
I give you back your medal.
Shoot! Shoot!
The airport, Andre. And fast. I wouldn't want to miss that plane.
I'm sorry, sir. The car won't start.
Douglas Fairbanks, your usual polished performance.
But you're not going to leave me on edge like this.
Now, what happened to the American doctor who performed the operation in Bosnia? Did he get away?
That, Tallulah, is a state secret.
Now, darling, you can tell me. I'll keep my big mouth shut.
But it's a surprise ending and I don't want to give it away.
Why don't you go to your neighborhood movie and see it for yourself?
I can't wait that long. Look, it would cost me 75 cents to see the movie.
I'll give you 75 cents. Tell me how it ends.
You smoke when you go to the movies, Tallulah?
Of course, darling. Why?
Well, that'll be a dollar ten for the loggers.
All right. I'll give you a dollar ten.
It'll be a long wait for the loge seats.
All right. I'll sit in the orchestra. Did the doctor get out of Bosnia?
Come on, darling. I'm burning up with curiosity.
No smoking in the orchestra.
Look, Junior, you make a very good usher.
But if you don't mind, I'd like to usher you in six stalwart men who come from three southern countries.
Really? What three countries?
Texas.
Ladies and gentlemen, you've seen them in all the Roy Rogers pictures.
They're the boys who sit around the campfire roasting.
And here they are, pretty well barbecued by now, the sons of the pioneers.
Water, water, water, water.
All day I faced a barren waste without the taste of water.
Cool water, water.
Old and alive with mold for dry and soul that's my fault.
Water, water, cool water, clear water.
Water, water, keep a moving den, don't you listen to him, den, he's a devil not a man.
His bed's a burning sand with water.
Water, water.
Den, can you see that big green tree where the water's running free and he's waiting there for me?
And he, clear water.
The shadows sway and seem to say tonight we pray for water.
Cool water, water.
And way up there he'll hear out there and show us where there's water.
Cool water, water, clear water.
Water, water, keep a moving den, don't you listen to him, den, he's a devil not a man.
And his bed's a burning sand with water.
Water, water.
Den, can you see that big green tree where the water's running free and he's waiting there for me?
And he, clear water.
Den's feet are sore, he's yearning for just one thing more than water.
Cool water, water.
Like me, I guess he'd like to ask where there's no place for water.
Cool water, clear water.
Cool water.
Gentlemen, that was divine.
I'd like to meet every one of you.
What are your names, darlings?
Tex is Far.
And you?
Tex Ferryman.
You?
Tex Fisher.
And go on.
Tex Curtis.
And yours?
Tex Far.
And finally?
Tex Doss.
Where do you boys hail from?
Oklahoma.
Well, something tells me I might as well take this time to bring my chimes.
This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.
The big show, this is the national broadcasting company, Sunday Extravaganza, with the most
scintillating personalities in show business.
This portion of the program is the Sunday feature of NBC's all-star festival of comedy,
music, drama, and mystery, brought to you by the makers of Anison for fast relief from
pain of headache, Uranus and neuralgia.
By your local Ford dealer, who is now displaying the new 1951 Ford, the car that's built for
the years ahead, by RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in
television, and by Chesterfield, the cigarette that gives you mildness plus no unpleasant
aftertaste.
The big stars in this program are Fred Allen, Mindy Carson, Joan Davis, Douglas Fairbanks
Jr., Phil Silvers, the sons of the pioneers, Margaret Truman, Meredith Wilson, and the
big show orchestra and chorus.
And every week, your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable, Tallulah Bankhead.
Well, darlings, I know you're all waiting for the appearance of Miss Margaret Truman,
and I'm about to present her.
Do I look all right?
I hope she notices this gown.
I got it especially for this occasion, but all of a sudden it feels as if it's dropping
off me.
Of course, I had it designed that way.
Well, I'm going to bring Miss Truman on now with a fanfare of trumpets.
We have a red carpet we're going to roll out, and we have a very effective ceremony with
scattered rose petals.
Hello, Miss Bankhead.
Why, Margaret Truman.
Miss Truman, you should have waited for a fanfare in rose petals, and we were even going
to roll out a red carpet for you to stand on as part of the ceremony.
Oh, you know I don't like to stand on ceremony.
Oh, darling, the first line and already a joke.
I am the emcee, remember, Miss Truman?
But you do look divine, darling.
What a beautiful gown.
Really, you didn't have to go to all that trouble to have a gown made just for this
occasion.
I didn't.
Well, what a coincidence.
So did I.
And I adore your gown.
Thank you, Miss Bankhead.
And?
And what?
And whose gown do you adore, Miss Truman?
I don't know.
You don't know?
Why not?
I lost my place.
So early in the show, darling?
But what I've been trying to find out is how do you like my gown?
Don't you think it does something for me?
I do.
It's in such good taste.
Not too daring and still just the slightest suggestion.
I designed it myself, you know.
I designed the clothes for all my plays, and they always cause so much comment.
Just as this little gown has caused.
Don't you think it's sweet, Miss Truman?
I do, don't you?
Yes.
Oh, it's so kind of you to say so many nice things about my dress.
Even if I do say so myself.
And I think I did.
Thank you, Miss Truman.
You're welcome, Miss Bankhead.
Now, how are things, Miss Truman?
How's everyone at home?
Fine.
And how are the Blairs?
The Blairs?
Well, yes, darling.
Didn't I read somewhere that you were staying with the Blairs while they were repapering your house or something?
Yes, we lost our place temporarily.
Again, darling, we're on page 29.
Oh, your place.
Oh, I see, darling.
I didn't understand.
I'm sorry.
Well, is there anyone at home listening to our program?
I guess so.
Oh, how sweet.
Well, would you like to say hello to anyone special?
May I?
Oh, please do, darling.
What a scoop.
Go right ahead, Miss Truman.
All right.
Hello, Margaret.
Margaret?
Who's Margaret?
That's me.
I'd like to hear somebody on this program call me by my first name.
Oh, that's so sweet, darling.
And you don't have to call me Miss Bankhead, darling.
Call me by my given name, will you, darling?
Yes, darling.
The child's getting all the laughs.
And now, Margaret, I want you to meet some of the other members of our cast.
That's Phil.
Will you come here a minute, Phil Silvers?
My goodness, that's the biggest round of applause I ever got.
No wonder they call it the big show.
Of course, the applause card they hold up here is much bigger than on any other show.
Now, Phil, there's somebody here I want you to meet.
Miss Truman, may I present Mr. Phil Silvers?
How do you do?
I was on a show once where they held up the applause card upside down.
I got the biggest round of esselpaw you ever heard.
Phil, this is Margaret Truman.
Glad to see you high.
Yeah, you get the gag, esselpaw, applause, spell backwards, funny.
All right, ESU, it's a pretty good show.
Phil, Miss Truman, dear, Miss Truman is the daughter of the president.
Yeah, we just met.
Nice kid.
Hi.
Daughter of the president of NBC?
Look, honey, I got a wonderful idea for a radio show.
I come out and I say, hello again, this is Phil Silvers.
Phil, Miss Truman is from Washington.
Yeah?
Hey, I'm a big hit in Washington, especially in Seattle.
Do you ever play any of the night clubs in Seattle?
No, I never have.
What's the bit?
What's the routine?
What are you going to do on this show?
Phil, Miss Truman was kind enough to accept our invitation to sing on this program.
Oh, vocalist.
Miss Truman.
Oh, I should have known.
Say, you're not Harry James's vocalist, are you?
No, I've never had the pleasure.
Besides, I sing classical and semi-classical, you know, long hair.
Well, how do you do with that kind of stuff?
Very well, thank you.
Not too good, huh?
Listen, I happen to know all about singing.
You got to sell the stuff.
Let me hear you make with the pipes.
How about trees?
Now?
Yeah, just a few bars.
You know how it goes.
I think that I shall never see.
A poem as lovely as a tree, whatever that means.
Okay, take it.
I think that I shall never see.
No, you're not selling it, kid.
You've got to sock it over.
You've got to get it across.
I'll show you.
I think that I shall never see.
You're fighting me.
You're fighting.
Try it again.
Listen.
I think that I shall never see.
Maybe your way is better.
Bill.
Yeah?
I think that I shall never see the day you're on this program again.
Well.
Unless you stop bothering Miss Truman.
Now, Margaret, darling, we have a happy little commercial.
Now, you know what a commercial is.
In radio, that's like the Marshall Plan.
Would you mind reading it, Ed Hurley, darling?
Every day you hear more and more about an incredibly fast way
to relieve the pains of headache, urinitis, and neuralgia.
It's Anason, A-N-A-C-I-N.
Now, the reason Anason is so wonderfully fast-acting and effective is this.
Anason is like a doctor's prescription.
That is, Anason contains not just one,
but a combination of medically proven active ingredients
in easy-to-take tablet form.
Thousands of people have received envelopes containing Anason tablets
from their own dentist or physician,
and in this way discovered the incredibly fast relief Anason brings
from pains of headache, urinitis, or neuralgia.
So, the next time a headache strikes, take Anason, A-N-A-C-I-N.
Anason, in handy boxes of 12 and 30,
economical family-sized bottles of 50 and 100.
Ask for Anason at any drug counter.
I think that I shall never see, oh, dear dear, I loved you in the springtime.
Margaret, I want you to meet somebody.
Miss Truman, this is Miss Joan Davis.
How do you do?
Well, how do you do, Your Honor?
Joan, get up off the floor.
Get up and say hello to Margaret Truman.
Can't you send her down here?
Ladies and gentlemen, while Miss Davis is wallowing on the floor,
Meredith Wilson and the Vic Show Orchestra and Chorus
will bring us an unusual arrangement of a tune imported from France
and being played for the first time in this country.
It is entitled Les Violins s'amuse,
which means the violins amuse themselves or have fun forever.
Ode to может
There's song and laughter when phial hymns play
With hymn of faith, as they seem to say
There's no tomorrow so vanish of sorrow
Live on today and love is gone
Live on today
Live on today and love is gone
This might be an idea, Margaret. Now how about doing a big variety show about an hour and a half program and get the biggest names in show business?
Or you could be the mistress of ceremonies.
Just a moment, that's my program.
I don't mind standing here without any lines, but I simply refuse to stand here without a program.
Oh, don't worry, Tallulah. I wouldn't dream of doing a program like that.
Why not, darling?
Well, I don't think I'm old enough.
What?
I mean, I'm not experienced enough.
Well, look, with no experience then, Margaret, you ought to be in television.
Tell me, this is a haven for people who have no sets, you know.
We all get together.
But tell me, do you watch much television at home, do you?
Oh, we don't have television in Washington.
Why not?
DC.
These are the Bilx folks. I know there are people out there. I can hear them breathing.
Oh, say.
Don't tell me that you won't be good on radio, Margaret Truman.
You just give me a minute to think. I'll come up with an idea for a program for you. Just a minute.
Maybe you can get an idea from a couple of my good friends.
Here they are, Bing Crosby and Bob Hope.
Say, Bob, incidentally, now that you're with Chesterfield, suggestion, please.
Why don't you try and connect yourself with a little, little savoeur faire, a little...
You know, say, Croix, you're the V.
Look, V.N. Rose.
Don't try to dazzle me with that stale French of yours.
I could dazzle you with English, Bob.
Dazzle be enough out of you.
Tup, tup.
Dearly friends, Skin, Flint and I, we do agree 100% on this.
Chesterfields are milder.
And they leave no unpleasant aftertaste.
So always buy our cigarette, Chesterfield.
The best cigarette for you to smoke.
Chesterfield, Chesterfield, always wins first place.
That milder mild tobacco never leaves an aftertaste.
So open a pack, give them a smell.
And you'll smoke them.
Don't forget to give Crosby for Christmas.
I mean the Chesterfield Christmas carton with Bing as Papa Santa Claus.
And now, ladies and gentlemen...
Say, pardon me just a second, Toulouse.
Say, I think I have it, Margaret, a great idea for a program.
Now, the first thing you need, of course, is a singer.
I beg your pardon.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way.
I mean a popular singer.
I beg your pardon.
No, no, I mean an unpopular singer.
No, no, I...
No, what I really mean is a singer like Mindy Carson.
Mindy, will you step over here, please?
Mindy, darling, I want you to meet someone.
Miss Truman, this is...
Just a minute, Toulouse. Let me introduce her.
You know, with two singers on the program, you bound to have trouble.
Let me hand this.
Mindy, I want you to meet Margaret Truman.
Miss Seattle of 1949.
Here.
How do you do, Mindy? It's a pleasure.
Now, don't fight, girls.
Oh, hello, Miss Truman. I'm pleased to meet you.
Now, Mindy, is that a nice thing to say?
Mindy, I have all your records, and I just love them.
Oh, relax, Miss Truman. So what if she is a singer?
And I've gone to every one of your concerts, Miss Truman.
I just love your voice.
She's just kidding, Miss Truman. She doesn't mean it.
Miss Truman, I've been looking forward to meeting you for a long time.
Oh, girls, you both said the same thing together. Make a wish.
You must lock your little fingers and make a wish.
Come on, girls. That's it.
There they go. They got a hammer lock on her.
Quiet, Phil. They're making a wish.
Why don't you go away?
There. I've made mine.
Me too.
Now, now, you mustn't tell what the wish is. It won't come true.
Mindy, I'd love to hear you sing a song. Would you do that for me?
Oh, see, my wish came true.
I just made a wish that you'd ask me that.
Certainly, I'd love to sing for you.
My song is The Touch of Your Lips.
That's the song I just wished you'd sing.
Well, if nobody's going to pay any attention to me, I'll be going.
Good. I wasn't even wishing him. My wish came true.
Well.
Sing, Mindy, darling.
Gifts that are good and then sweet And now at last the moment divine
The touch of your lips Upon my brow
Your lips that are cool and sweet Such tenderness
Lies in their secrets My heart forgets to breathe
The touch of your hands Upon my hair
The love in your eyes The same
And now at last the moment divine
The touch of your lips On mine
Your lips are oh so cool Your hands are oh so warm
The touch of your hands Upon my hair
The love in your eyes The same
And now at last the moment divine
The touch of your lips On mine
If only mine, our lives would stay, we would stay
Ladies and gentlemen, America's newest car, the fine new Ford for 1951, is now on display at your neighborhood Ford dealers.
And when you see it, you'll find that inside and out in every detail of design and construction, the 1951 Ford reflects true fine car quality.
And in addition, it offers 43 look ahead features designed to keep the 51 Ford young in appearance and young in performance.
For example, there's Ford Smart Luxury Lounge Interiors with their exclusive color harmonized Fordcraft fabrics.
There's the new automatic ride control that automatically adjusts spring reaction to the type of road to give you a level ride, an easy ride.
And there's the automatic mileage maker that lets you get the last mile out of every gallon of gasoline for utmost economy.
Visit your Ford dealer soon and see the 1951 Ford yourself.
You'll agree you can pay more, but you can't buy better.
Well, Fred, have you thought of an idea for a program for Miss Truman yet?
Yes, Toulouse, I have a great idea and I could try it out on this program, but I'll need an awful lot of actors.
Oh, that's easy, darling. I'm sure everyone on the show will be glad to help. Oh, here's Doug Fairbanks. Doug, will you help us out?
I'd be glad to.
Oh, Doug, darling, I want you to meet someone. Miss Truman, may I present Mr. Douglas Fairbanks, Jr.?
How do you do?
How do you do, Miss Truman? This is a great pleasure. I've been following your career with great interest.
Thank you.
Tell me, how does it feel to be the daughter of a great man?
How does it feel to be the son of a great man?
Very well put, darling. Now we'll get the rest of the cast. Joan, Joan Davis, don't you think it's time you got up off that floor, darling?
Well, I'll get up if somebody will give me a hand.
All right, folks, how about a big hand for this little girl on the floor?
Well, please. We're trying to work out an idea for a program for Miss Margaret Truman.
Oh, oh, you got a plot going. I didn't know that. Cute, very cute. I like a plot. It's good. What's the plot?
Well, Fred has an idea for a program to star Margaret Truman, and we need everybody's help. Mindy, you'll help out, won't you?
Oh, sure. What do I have to do?
Well, Fred's going to tell us all about that in just a minute. But first, of course, I'll start the program off by ringing my chimes like this.
This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.
This is the big show. And Fred Allen is about to unveil an idea for a program starring Margaret Truman.
Well, Ed, programs aren't wearing veils this year. This is rather a barefaced idea.
But I think Miss Truman should be presented on a discussion program where she meets many dignitaries and discusses world problems.
How does that strike you, Margaret?
Well, I don't know.
Oh, darling, it'll be just the thing for you, a hostess on a discussion program. And I'll be right here at your side to show you what to do.
Well, Fred, how do we begin?
Well, it would help a lot to Lou if we could begin with a sponsor.
Oh, yes, Margaret, you must have a sponsor. They give you free samples, you know. Try to get an automobile sponsor.
I once had an automobile sponsor. I got more transmission belts.
And they look well on you, too.
Down, girl.
Say, I have just such a sponsor in mind, girls. The Banking Institutions of America.
Now, the program, as I see it, will start off with a theme song. Meredith, how about some banking music?
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is the Margaret Truman program brought to you by the Banking Institutions of America.
Friends, visit your friendly neighborhood bank.
Browse around.
Get acquainted with money.
When you're in Washington, D.C., visit our factory where money is made.
Ask for a sample.
Taste it.
It's made into a crisp new dollar bill.
Notice that fresh mint flavor.
It's rich. It's green.
It's tender.
It's legal tender.
And now we present the star of our show, Miss Margaret Truman.
Hello again. This is Margaret Truman.
Thank you, Miss Truman. And now back to our sponsor.
Men, banks offer opportunities for rapid advancement. Mr. Phil S., of NoTrumpIdaho, has this to say.
I started working at a bank six months ago. I didn't know a thing about banking. Now I'm first vice president.
And when my father abscends, I'll be president of the bank.
The Banking Institutions of America have a vault to suit your every need. Mr. Douglas F., of Silly Putty, North Dakota, writes.
I've been married ten years, and for ten years my wife and I each saved money in a vault.
And every year on our wedding anniversary we buy each other a gift out of the money we've saved.
We call them our anniversary vaults.
American banks are friendly banks. Come in, even if it's only to buy a postage stamp.
Miss Joan D., of New York City, says.
Girls, I buy all my stamps at the bank. They have the stamp with the friendly mucilage that's kind to your tongue.
Our stamps come in six delicious flavors, strawberry, cherry, raspberry, orange, lemon, and air meal.
Attention, housewives. Don't experiment making your own money. Use genuine United States money.
It will save you time, possibly twenty years to life.
Miss T., Bankhead, part-time debutante of Montgomery, Alabama.
Miss Bankhead has this to say.
I have been using money for nine on to twenty years, and I've found that United States money is the ripest and greenest and richest in the world.
I always look for the picture of George Washington on the label, except when I buy the large economy size with the picture of Abraham Lincoln.
Miss Bankhead has this to say.
I have been using money for nine on to twenty years, and I've found that United States money is the ripest and greenest and richest in the world.
I always look for the picture of George Washington on the label, except when I buy the large economy size with the picture of Abraham Lincoln.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, here is the star of our program, Miss Margaret Truman.
Hello again. This is Margaret Truman.
Thank you, Miss Truman, and now back to the commercial.
And for this show, I gave up the Army-Navy game.
Now, you wait a minute, Fred. You can't treat Margaret like that.
Well, but the commercial's to Lula.
Besides, I don't think the banks are a good sponsor.
No.
If it's going to be a discussion program, she should have an educational sponsor.
All right. I tell you what, we'll get the Board of Education to sponsor it. Would that be all right with you, Margaret?
Well, anything is all right, as long as I get to say something besides hello again.
Oh, ad libbing already, hey?
Well, now, she's right, Fred, and I think the start of program, oh, she should sing a song. How about it, Margaret?
I'll be glad to.
Well, do it now, Margaret.
What are you going to sing, darling?
I'd like to sing Dr. Frank Black's arrangement of David Popper's Gavotte.
Whenever you're ready, Mr. Wilson.
We are young, we are gay, and dancing a live long day. We are strong and brave, don't face the morrow, no, not fear of fate. Our is no war, the future, pain or sorrow that may be in wait.
What if useless not all we? We will dance while yet we may. While yet we may. Let us begin.
We are young, we are gay, and dancing a live long day.
We are strong and brave, don't face the morrow, no, not fear of fate. Our is no war, the future, pain or sorrow that may be in wait.
Here's a word from RCA Victor.
This year on the night before Christmas, most American children and most American grownups, too, will nestle snug in their beds while visions of television sets dance in their heads.
Who could help dreaming of such a sugar plum, one that sweetens your life in your choice of delicious flavors no fewer than 365 days every year?
If you're the man behind Santa Claus at your house, don't decide you can't afford a television set this Christmas until you see the 18 beautiful new RCA Victor television models at your RCA Victor dealers.
Divide their price tags by 365 and discover how amazingly little your daily entertainment costs per day.
You'll find that most RCA Victor sets, even fabulous 16-inch consoles, cost less than one dollar a day for one year.
Of course, all the years afterwards are pure gravy.
Study those RCA Victor values tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say to you and all your family this very Christmas, happy looking, everyone.
Margaret, darling, that song you sang a moment ago was as delightful and gracious as you are.
Thank you, Caloo.
Hey, Miss Truman, I didn't know you sang like that. Say, you got a nice set of pipes.
Look, I'm playing at the Copa Cabana now, and I can put in a good word for you.
Phil, no.
What's the matter with the Copa all of a sudden? It's a good job.
Miss Truman, I can get you the same deal I got. I get 50% of all the glazed fruits sold in the place.
Glazed fruits?
Yeah, I got a smart manager. They wanted to give me 50% of all the money from the liquor sales.
Now with my manager, boy, glazed fruits.
Pardon me, Mr. Silver. Will you yield?
Go away, Page. You're ruining my filibuster.
Gentlemen from the Copa Cabana, you must yield. I am ready to start with Miss Truman's discussion program, sponsored by the Board of Education.
Oh, please do, Fred. This will be a great chance for you, Margaret.
I don't know if I'll be able to handle a discussion program.
Oh, it's easy, darling. I'll show you. You just watch me and do whatever I do. You can do that, can't you, dear?
Well, if it was good enough for Betty Davis, it's good enough for me.
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Oh, isn't she sweet. Go on, Fred, on with the program.
Well, after Margaret finishes her song, we have a commercial, something like this.
This program is brought to you each week by the Board of Education and by the thousands of wonderful school teachers barely living in your community.
Friends, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Come to school, get a little knowledge, live dangerously.
The schools of America are training grounds for the future.
If you want to train for a military career, go to West Point.
If you want to train for a naval career, go to Annapolis.
If you want to train for a scientific career, go to Carnegie Tech.
If you want to train for Chicago, go to Grand Central Station.
And now back to our discussion program and Miss Margaret Truman.
Good evening, everyone.
No, no, no, darling. This is an afternoon show.
Good afternoon, everyone.
No, no, no, darling. Not everyone. It's good afternoon, darlings. I'll show you.
This is murder, isn't it?
Now, listen to this. Here's where you do it, darling.
Welcome to our discussion program.
And we have many dignitaries with us this afternoon who wish to discuss their problem on this open forum.
You see, darling, it's very easy.
Thank you, Tallulah. Good afternoon, darlings.
Oh, no, no, darling. You don't have to do that. I've already done it.
I should have made a deal for the glazed fruit.
Now you should talk to the first dignitary whose problem you're going to discuss.
Our first dignitary is the—
Quite right, darling. I'll show you.
I'm from Missouri, but you don't have to show me that much.
Isn't he sweet?
You see, darling, you must tell the people that this is an open forum discussion and anyone can say whatever he wants.
Yes, anyone but me.
Oh, darling, that's a very funny joke.
Well, I think—pardon me, but I really think Miss Truman is right. You ought to start the program off with a good joke.
No, Joan, this is a program in which we discuss problems.
Well, I've got a problem with this joke.
You see, I've been telling this joke for a long time, and everybody's been taking it from me and telling it in different ways, and I want to know how I can stop them.
Well, that's a legitimate problem. Tell your joke, Joan.
Well, it's the story of a man who went into a grocery store and said,
How much are your tomatoes? And he said 30 cents a pound, and the man said, The grocer across the street only charges 20 cents a pound.
And the grocer said, Well, why don't you go across the street and buy them for 20 cents?
And the man said, They're all out of tomatoes across the street.
And the grocer said, If I was out of tomatoes, I'd only charge 20 cents also.
Boy, have I got a problem, huh?
Well, thanks. You've been a swell bunch of seats.
If that's your problem, darling, you have no problem. Anybody who takes that joke deserves it.
Well, hi-ho, it's time for another commercial. Friends, send your children to the schools of America.
Remember, there is an American flag over every schoolhouse.
No other country can make that statement.
And remember, in American schools, the janitors, the groundkeepers, and the plumbers all agree that they are the highest paid in the world.
No schoolteacher can make that statement.
Parents, parents, does your child say, I ain't got? Well, get her some.
And now back to our program, and Miss Truman.
Oh, thank you, darling. And now...
Excuse me, Tallulah. I think he said Miss Truman.
Oh, yes, so he did, didn't he?
Well, all you have to say, darling, is that our next guest is Mr. Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., Ambassador from Bosnia, who has come to America with a special problem concerning his country.
Hello, Mr. Fairbanks. You are the Ambassador from Bosnia?
Well, not exactly. You see, in Bosnia, it's divided into two parts, Upper Bosnia and Lower Bosnia.
I am from Lower Bosnia.
And where exactly is Lower Bosnia?
Just underneath Upper Bosnia.
That's a neat arrangement. And what is your mission here, Ambassador?
Well, you see, we are an impoverished country. We need money, but we have a problem. We are too small for the Marshall Plan and too large for the Morris Plan.
Well, how do you expect to get money here?
I'd hope to get on one of your quiz programs.
Oh, I see. And what do you need the money for?
Well, we need money to modernize our army so that we can live in peace.
How large an army do you have?
Well, let me see. There is Gustav, Johan, Meyer. No, no, no, Meyer, he is our Navy.
Don't you have any sort of income in Bosnia?
Well, we do a fairly large import-export business. Last year my country imported from the United States alone four ashtrays, two three-way lamps, or was it three two-way lamps?
And four electric blankets. But we had to return the electric blankets.
Oh, why was that?
Wrong current.
Oh, I see.
No, DC.
Now, wait a minute, Doug, that was my joke.
I'm sorry, that joke was one of our imports.
And what do you export, sir?
Only one thing, plebos.
Plebos?
And even with plebos we are having trouble. You see, in lower Bosnia we charge 30 cents a pound for plebos. In upper Bosnia charges only 20 cents a pound.
Well, how can upper Bosnia afford to undersell you?
Because they are out of plebos.
Yes, and if you were out of them you would charge 20 cents too.
That is correct.
Tell me, Ambassador, just exactly what are plebos?
Cucumbers.
Oh, good, for a minute I thought I was going to tell my tomato joke.
Well, that was a very, very interesting problem, Mr. Fairbanks. Now, Margaret, you should thank Mr. Fairbanks.
You mean you're actually going to let me say something?
Certainly, darling, it's your program. Just say thanks.
All right. Mr. Fairbanks, I want to thank you for coming on our program. And your problem has touched me deeply.
And I want to assure you that we will give it the utmost consideration.
And please take with you our hopes for a successful solution to your country's problem.
Thank you for coming over. Thanks very much. Thanks a million.
What a ham.
All right, who's the next guest on our open discussion program? How about you, Phil Silver?
Well, as long as everybody else is beef and I got something I like to say. But I don't suppose anybody would be interested.
I suppose not, darling. Who's next?
Wait, wait, wait a minute. That's my trouble. Everybody takes me literally.
Like a few years ago when I decided to go into pictures, I told my agent to get me a contract with Fox. So he got me a contract with Fox.
20th Century Fox?
No, I.J. Fox. I should have known when the guy came over with the contract. He was a short, stocky man with gray Persian hair.
And a cold nose.
Cold nose. Funny, funny. Well, you may or you may not have seen me in pictures, which is of no consequence, because I always play the same part.
My name is always Blinky, and I'm always a friend of the hero. I love the hero in the picture. His problems become my problems.
I'm usually in musical pictures, technicolor musical pictures. Everybody's happy in the picture. That is everybody but me.
Because always in the beginning of the picture, the heroine, usually played by Betty Grable, has a fight with the hero, usually played by John Payne.
And he walks out on her, leaving me alone with Grable, which is not exactly a bad situation, alone with Grable.
You see, I come from a neighborhood in Brooklyn. I know what to do in a situation like this.
But do I get a chance to show Grable I'm able? Do I get a chance to show Betty I'm ready?
No. I gotta go looking for him. And where do the heroes go when they're carrying the torch in these pictures?
Always the same place, the Barbary Coast. Once I'd like to see a guy go to Lindy's, I gotta have a sandwich while I'm looking for him.
Well, what's the use of talking about it? Let me show you a scene from this tight picture, usually called, Hello Something Hello.
Well, when I finally find the hero, he's at the bar, and I walk up to him and I say, John, I've been looking all over for you. You remember me, Blinky?
John, I got the stuff in the car. That's my opening line in every picture. I got the stuff in the car. What stuff? I've never been able to find out.
So if he wants it, I got it. John, I say, John, come back to that girl, Betty. She loves you. She misses you. Why, she hasn't slept a wink since you left.
How could she? You took the mattress, John. Why are you hitting me, John? One lousy joke you hit Blinky? Go on back to that girl. Yes, I love her too.
But after all, finders keepers, losers weepers. This later becomes the hit song of the picture, which they don't let me sing.
No, no, John, no. Don't say goodbye. Just go. It'll be easier this way. I'll take care of the check.
Well, I take care of so many of the hero's checks, but at the end of the picture, he saved enough money to marry Betty, and they go away on their honeymoon.
And now, from the first time in the picture, he doesn't need me. Then there's another type picture. It's called the college musical.
For this, they usually use people under contact. It's cheaper that way, easier on the budget.
And that's why you see Walter Pigeon as a freshman, Marjorie Mayne as a coed, and I'm still Blinky, a friend of the hero.
Let me show you a scene from Hello, College Days, Hello.
Give me the axe, give me the axe, rickety, rickety, rickety, rickety, racks, yay, team. I'm too old for this.
Hello, boys and girls. Where's my old friend John, who is the star quarterback of the team?
What? He's been thrown off the team for giving away the signals to the rival coach.
Oh, where is he? Where is he? Locked himself in his room. Well, I better go and get him.
John, John, open the door, John. It's me, Blinky. John, we only got three minutes for the... I got the stuff in the car.
Come on, John. Betty knows you're not guilty. She told everybody she saw you in the chemistry class
when you were mixing the Bunsen burner with the X24 formula, which came out blue. And then Zelda was there.
Zelda came with Rodney, the dean's son, and they saw you, and they came out and Zelda said,
Did you see John? And Betty says, Yes, I saw him, Zelda. And Zelda says, Well, I saw him. You like this plot?
John, open the door. John, remember the old college spirit. Give him the axe, give him the axe, rickety, rickety, rickety, racks, yay, team.
You got to be a football hero to get your love with the B.V. Zell.
Come on, Johnny, open the door. I got the stuff in the car, John. Open the door. John, why don't you answer me?
Oh, I forgot. In this picture, the hero was Dan Daly. No wonder he'd answer me.
Dan, Dan, you've got to be a football hero to get your love with the beautiful girl. Yay, team.
And then there's another type picture, an epic. For this picture, they send 500 technicians to darkest Africa.
They hire big writers, big actors. Everything's on a high plane, lots of changes. But I'm still blinky.
Let me show you a scene from Hello, King Solomon's Minds. Hello.
Lost, lost in the jungle, the intense heat marooned, maroon or maroon.
Come along here, on the double. Here, you native boys, quickly. Punch up. Come here, boy.
Have you seen a tall man? I've been looking around for 19 months. My goodness, there he is.
My friend John. John, at last I found you. You remember me, kind old Blinky?
Come on, John. They know you didn't do the crime because Zelda told the police.
Zelda was there. Zelda is the producer's wife. She likes the name mentioned in every picture.
Come on, John. Don't be a fool. I came here to rescue you. No, go back, John. Go. Listen.
I got the stuff in a safari, John. Go on, John. Go back to Betty, who loves you. No.
Don't say goodbye, John. It'll be easier this way. Just go. Go, John.
What have I got to look forward to? What's to become of me?
I'm always a friend of the hero. Always the hero's friend.
The pictures are as usual, designed to please the masses.
The girls keep playing hard to get. The boys keep making passes.
And I have to stand there watching them while they steam up my glasses.
Where will this frustration end? I'm always the hero's...
I got the stuff in the car. See you in a little bit.
And now Bob Hope would like to put the word in. Go ahead, Bob, darling.
This is Bob Hope. Can we steal a second?
Say, Bob, did you notice there's a new Chesterfield poster of you around town?
Yeah, I saw one in a drug store the other day. I'm dressed up as Santa Claus.
Yeah, and you're holding a carton of Chesterfields with a picture of Bing, you know who, dressed up as Santa Claus.
And you're saying, for Christmas gifts, here's the answer.
Yep, Crosby for Christmas.
Bob, seriously, why did they make Crosby pop a Santa Claus in the Christmas carton instead of you?
Well, hi, by tradition, Santa Claus is an old man.
Yes.
Always carrying a sack full.
Well, in all fairness to Bing, Bob, I must say it's a very attractive gift.
And it's packed with 200 of those always milder Chesterfields, which make us find a gift as anyone could give or anyone could get.
And folks, if you want to prove that just for yourself, make that Chesterfield mildness test.
Open them, smell them, compare them, and smoke them.
Chesterfield, Chesterfield always wins first place.
That milder mild tobacco never leaves an aftertaste.
So open a pack, give them a smell, then you'll smoke them.
See you Tuesday night, folks, for Chesterfield.
Well, now that Bob Hope has solved our Christmas problem, who's left?
Oh, Mindy Carson, we haven't heard from you. What is your problem, darling?
Oh, I have no problem.
You what?
Yes, I'm quite happy.
My husband's getting me a mink coat for Christmas, my RCA Victor records are selling well, and last week I lost two pounds.
So you see, I have no problem. I'm very happy, quite contented.
How dare you be happy?
Oh, Miss Bankhead, I have a problem. I'd like to enter into this discussion program.
Yes, Mary?
Well, I wrote a special arrangement for a boing quartet.
Uh-huh. A what?
A boing quartet. And I thought that maybe you and Miss Truman and Joan and Mindy would do it for me.
Can you boing, Joan?
Well, if I bend over once more, I think I will boing.
Well, now we need a male soloist. How about you, Fred?
Well, I'm the right agenda, Meredith.
Splendid. You see, I've always wanted to have a glee club just like Fred Wernher, you know, with a boing quartet.
Could we try it with Down By the Old Mill Stream?
All right, Meredith Wilson, the orchestra and chorus, the boing quartet, and our guest vocalist, Mr. Fred Allen.
Darlings, I hope you get a big boing out of this.
Down
By the old mill stream
Where I first met you
With your eyes so avalue
Dressed in gin
And two
It was there I knew
Boing, boing, boing
I thought one
Hot taro
You were sixteen
How old was the girl?
Sixteen
My village queen
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen
By the old mill
On a sharp la re
La re
Meredith, darling, that was wonderful, wonderful fun for all of us.
Didn't you enjoy it, Margaret?
Oh, yes, let's do it again.
Oh, excuse me, darling, it's the telephone.
Hello, yes.
What?
No, no, I'm terribly sorry.
Well, it's very kind of you to offer, but we don't need a piano player.
Tallulah, Tallulah, you mean?
Yes, Hoagy Carmichael, my dear.
Hoagy, Hoagy.
All to play the piano for us.
Well, Margaret, we're nearing the close of our show.
Is there someone special you would like to say goodnight to?
Of course, I'm trying to be delicate about it.
I could give you a slight hint.
Would you like to say goodnight to Washington?
Oh, sure.
Good night, George.
Well, I asked for it.
Well, this is about it, folks, and try to be with us again next week.
Won't you, darlings?
Our guests will be Jim and Durante, Clifton Webb, Emma Jean Coker, Mindy Carson, Eddie Arnold and others.
Until then, may the good Lord bless and keep you, whether near or far away.
May you find that long-awaited golden day today.
Joan?
May your troubles all be small ones and your fortunes ten times ten.
Fred?
May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again.
Margaret?
May you walk with sunlight shining and a blue bird in every tree.
May there be a silver lining back of every cloud you see.
Douglas?
Fill your dreams with sweet tomorrows, never mind what might have been. Phil?
May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again.
Pioneers?
May you walk with sunlight shining and a blue bird in every tree.
May there be a silver lining back of every cloud you see.
Fill your dreams with sweet tomorrows, never mind what might have been.
May the good Lord bless and keep you until we meet again.
May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet, till we meet again.
Good night, darlings.
Good night.