To the men and women in service all over the world on this Christmas Eve, through the cooperation of the Associated Services of the Armed Forces, you are about to be entertained by some of the biggest names in show business. For the next hour and 30 minutes, this program will present in person such bright stars as Jimmy Durante, Burt Lowe, Robert Merrill, Marvito Bryan, Edith Piaf, Brian Warren, Edwin, Merida Paulson, and my name darlings is Tallulah Bankstead. The National Broadcasting Company presents The Big Show. The Big Show, 90 minutes with the most scintillating personalities in the entertainment world, brought to you this Sunday and every Sunday at the same time as the Sunday feature of NBC's All Star Festival, and here is your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable Tallulah Bankhead. A safe and merry Christmas darlings, to all our armed forces, wherever you may be, and you here at home. I hope all your stockings are hung and that you find in them all the things you've wished for. I know what I'm going to find in mine, a rawn. I always do on this show, but when I heard that one of our guests today was to be Marvito Bryan, I decided to make it my business to see that this child has a Merry Christmas away from her home. After all, it's only a few years since I was a child. And those darling writers, they'll stop at nothing for a Christmas present, and that's exactly what they're getting. But to make sure little Marvito has a wonderful Christmas, I invited three of the theater's greatest clowns, Jimmy Durante, Bert Laugh, and Ed Winn. Hello. Hello, Tallulah. Hello, Ed, Jimmy, Bert, hello, Bert, Ed, Jimmy, hello, Jimmy, Bert, Ed. Well now that I've given you all equal billing, we can get down to our problem. We've got to arrange a wonderful Christmas party for this little girl. Anybody have an idea of what to give her? I got an idea, Tallulah. Uh-huh. Something that's very popular this time of the year. Oh really, darling? What is it, Bert? How about giving her a Christmas present? Right now, isn't that brilliant? Came to me in a flash. Anybody else have any flashes? How about you, Jimmy? I know what we could get her. I once got something nice for Christmas, a bed jacket. You a bed jacket? What's the matter with that? My bed always wears a jacket. We dress to sleep. Well, for all the help you are, you could have stood in bed. Well, how about you, Edwin? Have you got an idea that's more stable than a bed jacket? Oh yes, I have a wonderful idea, Tallulah. How old is this girl? Margaret O'Brien? Oh well, she must be about, well, seven years old, I guess. I've never met the child, you see, but I've seen her on the screen in Journey for Margaret, Our Vines, Have Tender Grapes. Well, she's about tenor rate, I'd say. Oh well, I've got a gigantic idea. Besides that, it's big. I tell you something, I'm surprised that Jimmy and Bray didn't think of it. Why don't we get her a horse? A horse? Yes, a horse. Why are you so surprised? Let me explain it to you. You give Margaret a horse. Margaret takes it home and the landlord tells her she cannot have a horse in the apartment. This, of course, surprises her because the landlord has no objection to mice. You see what I mean? But the landlord is adamant. James J. Adamant. Well, anyhow, Margaret and her parents, they move out and they get a house in the country where the horse has plenty of room to roam. The house is in Milan, which is 25 miles to roam. And the little girl has to ride the horse 25 miles to school every day. And one day the horse runs away and a little boy saves a life. He is the son of the wealthiest man in town. His father is a big car manufacturer. He made his money in the black market, you know. Some of the jokes later on are even worse than that. Anyhow, she and the boy grow up to be childhood sweethearts, you know. And one day the boy brings her a bottle of perfume and proposes to her. She takes the perfume, but she cleans it down because she is in love with a fellow who runs a poultry market. You see, she prefers feathers to tar. Isn't that awful? Anyhow, she thinks, you know, that her parents will be tickled with a poultry man, but they don't like him. He is taboo, so it's a perfume. Anyhow, she marries him and in a year he loses all his money and he leaves her. And all she has left is the bottle of perfume. Well everybody knows little girls like perfumes, so let's get Margaret a horse. Well, I ask for a stable idea. Hey, that's reaching pretty far back for a bottle of perfume. Yeah, I don't want to offend anybody, but wouldn't it be easier to overlook the horse and get... Just by the kid, the perfume? How can you overlook a horse, Margaret? Gentlemen, no. The horse is scratched. This child is away from home. It's Christmas Eve. Now you know how children feel about Christmas. Surely you men, somewhere in your respective sordid existences, have met some little girl you made happy at Christmas time. Well, that's what I want here and I'd appreciate your cooperation. Now, are there any questions? I have a sister in St. Louis who has a little girl. Jimmy darling, that is not the question. Oh. Do I have a sister in St. Louis who has a little girl? That's a question. Darling, what about your sister's child in St. Louis? Well, I was going to say my sister always throws a Christmas party for her little girl. Why don't we do that? You mean you want us to throw a party for your sister's kid in St. Louis? No. I mean, a party for Margaret, and I think it's a very good idea. Now, the first thing we have to do is to get some refreshments. What do you get for a child's party? I've heard of something that children adore. I think they call it milk. Okay. I'm the milkman around here. From the picture of the same name I just made for universal, now playing in neighborhood movie houses, smoking in the loges. So I'll get the milk. Tell me, chaloo. How much milk shall I get? How much milk will you get? How should I know how much to get? There's only one child. Get a fifth. A fifth? If I need enough milk, I take four fingers myself. Well, Bert, what do you think? How much milk will we need? Well, personally, I won't take any. I'm driving. I don't know much about this kid's stuff. You see, I didn't have such a happy childhood. In fact, a very tragic thing happened to me when I was a child. You lived? Yeah, how'd you know? Oh, just a while ago. What else happened? Well, at Christmas, I never hung my stockings up. You see, I only had one pair. Instead of hanging over the fireplace, they just stood there. And I never got any toys. You see, we were very poor. My mother used to take me window shopping. I wound up with more windows than any kid in the neighborhood. Your mother had a budget account, I imagine. Yeah, she imagined it too. She'd take anything in any store if she could budget. We were so poor that it was 15 years after they was married that my father gave my mother an engagement ring. Oh, it was beautiful. A 10-carat diamond ring. 10 carats? And what a beautiful, sentimental inscription inside the ring. It said, in case a fire break glass. My mother thought it was too expensive, and she put it back in the box and took it back to the store, but they wouldn't take it back because it wasn't in the same condition my father had bought it. Your mother had eaten the cracker jacks. It came. Yeah, and the way mother always used to pick on me. She used to say to me, Brecht, why don't you be like Johnny? She used to say, Brecht, go out and play with Johnny. I want you to grow up like Johnny. It was Johnny this, Johnny that. I stayed in the house all the time. I got an interior complex. I used to sit around the house all day and cry. Oh, I was housebroken. All I heard was Johnny, Johnny. Last year when I went back to my hometown, I thought I'd find out what happened to Johnny. So I asked his mother. I said, whatever became of Johnny, Mrs. Dillinger? He probably turned out to be a case of arrested development. Yeah, many times. But if I don't have something ready for Margaret when she gets here, really darling, I won't have the courage to face her. Reminds me when I was a cowardly lion and a wizard of Oz. I sang a song about courage. It was called, If I Was the King of the Farer, would you like to hear it? What can I do? I'm trapped. Mary Wilson P's the music for Mr. Law, who will recreate his famous cowardly lion from The Wizard of Oz. If I was king of the farers, not a queen, not a duke, not a prince, my regal rose of the farers would be satin and not cotton and not chintz. I command each thing, be it fish or power, with a woof, woof, and a royal growl. As I clicked my heel, all the trees would kneel and the mountains bow and the bulls kowtow and the scoundrels would take away. If I, if I, were the king. Your majesty, if you were king, you'd not be afraid of anything. Not nobody, not know-how. Not even a rhinoceros? Imposterous. Well, how about a hippopotamus? I'd trash him from top to bottom. Supposing you met an elephant. I'd wrap it up in elephant. What if it were a brontosaurus? I'd show him a king of the forest. How? How? Courage. What makes a king out of a slave? Courage. What makes the flag on the mass to wave? Courage. What makes the elephant charge his dusk in the misty mist or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage. What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage. What makes the dorm come up like thunder? Courage. What makes the hot and tot so hot? Who put the ape in a tree pot? What do they got that I ain't got? Courage. What makes the king of the forest? Courage. What makes the Spinoff Fish God? Courage. What makes thelate-arm Bird darling, that was law at his best, but it doesn't help solve our problem about Marget O'Brien's Christmas party. Now, it can't be too difficult, lovelies. It's just that I haven't met any children, socially, that is. I thought you told me you had a big carriage trade at your theater, to do? Yeah, very funny, darling. But you men should be able to come up with some idea. Well, among the three of you, there should be at least 200 years of know-how. Well, why don't you join us and make a 250? Oh dear, boy. Say, I just thought of something. How about getting her a three? A three? Darling, it's Margaret O'Brien, not Tarzan. I made a Christmas tree with toys hanging on it. Toys on a tree? Oh, that's lovely, Addy, Jimmy. What sort of toy shall we get? Well, you're a girl. Oh, thank you, Jimmy, darling. What would you like to see hanging on your tree? Jimmy, this is Christmas Eve, and I will not mention her name on this program. I mean, I'd like to hang things on the tree that are lit up. I thought we were having milk. Now, Jimmy, you know what I mean. I'm talking about toys, a little child could like, you know, simple things to play with, like a ball and jack. You think this kid balls the jack? Oh, come on, Jimmy, help me out. When I was a kid, I had a mechanical mind. Need a little oil in right now. My father wanted me to be a mechanical engineer, so he bought me an erector set, and I would have been the greatest mechanical engineer of all time, except for one thing. What was that? I couldn't open the box. Now, wait a minute, Jimmy. Girls today are athletically inclined. How about getting her a racket? Now, you mean ping pong? My heart was in it. Oh, courage. I don't think she's old enough for ping pong. Well, the kids today ain't satisfied with the toys the kids used to play with when I was a boy. Well, darling, there aren't as many Indians around today. Oh, except that. With reservations. The toys they give kids today. Why, last year I had to give my nephew a chemistry set. He said he wanted me to be a scientist, another Prince Albert Einstein. Would he like the chemistry set, Jimmy? I don't know. He moved away, house and all. Well, a lot of scientists are up in the air these days. Christmas has become quite a problem, hasn't it, Jimmy? Not for me. I think it's a shame Christmas comes but once a year. Folks, I've got a little wish. Now, folks, I've got a little wish if it only could come true. It's about a holiday that's meant for me and you. Although it has been coming on the same day each year, there should be one more day it could appear. Now, isn't it a shame that Christmas comes but once a year? Wouldn't it be nice if it came around twice, spreading joy and good cheer? Just when everyone forgets good will to men, that's the time for jingle bells to chime again. Now, isn't it a shame that Christmas comes but once a year? You'll never forget one Christmas Eve when I was a kid. I hung up my stocking, went to bed, and when I came down the next morning, what do you think I found on my stocking? My father's foot. Yeah, my father really stuck by me all through childhood. One time in school, the teacher asked me who signed the Declaration of Independence. I said, I didn't. I said, I didn't know, teacher. I didn't. Just for that, she made me bring my father to school. He walked in and said, teacher, my boy Jimmy is a good boy, and he's an honest boy. And if my boy says he didn't do it, he didn't do it. What a man. My father went to school more when I went to school than when he went to school. But I'll never forget the big turkeys we used to have for Christmas dinner. I always got the dark meat. This year, I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. Now, isn't it a shame that Christmas comes? But once a year, wouldn't it be nice if it came around twice, spreading joy and good cheer? Now, just when everyone forgets goodwill to men, that's the time for jingle bells to chime again. Now, isn't it a shame that Christmas comes? But once a year, wouldn't it be nice? Applause Jimmy darling, you were usual a divine. Oh, Chalula, I just thought of a wonderful idea for this little girl Margaret. We are not buying a horse. Now, put that in your pipe and smoke it. Oh, that's ridiculous. I don't smoke horses. Smoking horses, I have a smoking jacket somebody gave me. I've been smoking that for three years. I'm saving the buttons for last, you know. But what I started to tell you, Chalula, this is marvelous. How about inviting Santa Claus to the party to give her some presents? Inviting Santa Claus? Now, really, Ed, darling, you and I are adults. We don't believe in Santa Claus. Oh, don't say that. That's not true. I believe in him. And I've got proof. No, you've got proof there's a real Santa Claus. There? You are mature, intelligent, sophisticated man standing there in your beanie hat with a propeller on top telling me you have proof there is a Santa Claus. Proof? I have even more than proof. I even think so. Oh, you think so? She listens. Only when I talk. Oh. But anyway, tell me about this proof you have as a Santa Claus. Oh, I have proof. I'll tell you the whole story. I was in a show about 20 years ago, you see. And there was a fellow in the show with me. And his name was Houdini. No, no, no, it wasn't. His name escapes me. Well, anyway, anyway, he always made it a practice that no matter where he was. Now, this is so beautiful. No matter where the show was on the road, he would go home on Christmas Eve. And he would always manage to grab a plane to get home and dress up like Santa Claus and leave some presents for his little girl. Well, of course, he just dressed up like Santa Claus. Yeah, well, wait, wait, you hear the whole story. And the day after Christmas, this friend of mine in the show would always get a letter from his little girl. And the little girl would say, dear daddy, Santa Claus came last night. And I was standing on the stairs. And he didn't see me, but I saw him. And he left me a lot of presents. And then he kissed mama and went away. Isn't that beautiful? Doesn't that ring your heart, that story? Very beautiful. And it rings my heart. But what's the point? Well, the point, well, I'll make it blunt then. One year, one year, the same company, we were playing out in Colorado someplace. And the same man with the company. And there was a great big blizzard, you know, and all the planes were grounded. And the little girl's daddy, the father there, I call him daddy, I mean daddy, he couldn't get home for Christmas. Well, the poor man was heartbroken. Well, on Christmas day, there was another letter from the little girl, just like he used to get every year. And the letter said, dear daddy, Santa Claus was here last night and left me toys. And then he gave mama a lot of kisses and went away. And that's how I came to believe that there is a real Santa Claus. Well, there darling, you go on and believe me exactly what you want, but I still don't know what to get Margaret for a present. Well, now let me see, I have a son, Keenan, his name. His last name is Wynne, Keenan Wynne. We have the same last name. That's a coincidence. Of all the people in the world I picked out to be my son, I picked one with the same name, Wynne. Well, anyhow, I've been trying to think what would Keenan want for Christmas? And you know what I think he'd want? Fran Warren. Fran Warren, well she's right here. Hello, Salula. Oh. Oh. Hello, Fran, darling. And you're gonna sing, Look to the Rainbow, aren't you? That's right. Go ahead, sweetie. ["Look to the Rainbow"] Love, love, look to the rainbow Follow it over the hill and the stream Love, love, look to the rainbow Follow the fellow who follows the dream On the day I was born Sadness, father, steady I've an elegant legacy waiting for you Tisserae for your lips A song for your heart To sing it whenever the world falls apart Love, love, look to the rainbow Follow it over the hill and the stream Love, love, look to the rainbow Follow the fellow who follows the dream So I bundled me heart and I roamed the world free To the east with the lark, to the west with the sea And I searched all the earth and scanned all the skies But I found it at last in the old true love's eyes Love, love, look to the rainbow Follow it over the hill and the stream Love, love, look to the rainbow Follow the fellow who follows the dream Follow the fellow, follow the fellow Follow the fellow who follows the dream Friends, that was a lovely Christmas present. Look, darling, I want to ask you something. Is it about Margaret O'Brien's Christmas party? Well, the child has to have a Christmas celebration of some kind tonight, and I can't take her where I'm going. Well, it sounds like you're going to a party. Why can't you take little Margaret? Well, because it probably won't be over until 12 o'clock. That's not so late. Thursday noon. That sounds like quite a party. It always is when I'm there, pet. Yes, I hear you do. Well, personally... Well, personally, I'm just having a little party at home. We have a very small Christmas tree, but one thing I know is going to be on it, a new mink coat. A mink coat, darling? What kind of a Christmas tree have you got? Oh, the usual kind, a fir tree. Oh, I see, Suise. The first week on this show, and already she's telling jokes. Has anybody thought of getting Margaret a doll? A doll, of course. Now, why didn't I think of that? Why couldn't any of you three gentlemen have thought of a doll? I was thinking of a doll. I'm always thinking of a doll. La, la. And while you're getting her a doll, why don't you get her one that talks, one that says, mama, papa? And they're even making dolls now that say yes and no. Dolls that say no, I can get plenty of. Now, look, let me present the doll to Margaret. I'll be Sandy Claus's helper with the red nose and the jolly laugh and the red nose with the red suit, and I'll come flying over the rooftops, down the chimney, and give it a doll. Flying over the rooftops. I suppose you'll be using eight reindeer. No. I can do all my flying on eight old-fashions. That explains the red nose. But Santa Claus might not be a bad idea at that. I suppose Margaret believes there is one, you think, huh? Doesn't everybody? Honestly, but you and Ed, acting like a couple of children's Santa Claus is deep. Tallulah, believe me, there is a Santa Claus. I know. Because a few years ago, I was playing one of Santa's helpers to a cute little girl. Oh, she was a sweet little thing. I walked into the apartment Christmas Eve, all dressed up in my Santa Claus outfit, and started to give her some presents. But she wouldn't take them. She said if I was a real Santa Claus, I'd go up on the roof and come down the chimney. So I did. But she still didn't believe me. No faith? No chimney. And you still believe in Santa Claus? I certainly do. Because while I was up on the roof looking for the chimney, that cute little girl's husband come home. Now if there had been a chimney for me to come down, a husband would have knocked my block off. So don't tell me there ain't no Santa Claus. Now wait a minute, Burt. Who told you there ain't no Santa Claus? Tallulah, I've been trying to show her there is one. I tried to prove it to her too. She doesn't believe that there is a Santa Claus, Jimmy. Tallulah, you're unbelievable. I do not care to speak about it. Now you're unspeakable. But Jimmy, believe me, the Santa Claus, not you. Especially me. Look at me. Tallulah? Mustard? Move back about four rows so you can see both sides of his face. Now let me ask you a hypocritical question. Am I handsome? Am I young? Have I got curly locks? Am I well educated? Do my clothes fit? Well, for me there's only one Santa Claus, NBC. Nicholas B. Claus. Nicholas, darling, is NBC, the national broadcasting company. The Big Show The Big Show. This is the national broadcasting company, Sunday Extravaganza, with the most scintillating personalities in show business. The Big Show, the Sunday night feature of NBC's All-Star Festival, is brought to you by the makers of Anderson for fast relief from pain of headache, uritis, and neuralgia, and by RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television. The big stars in this program are Jimmy Durante, Bert Laar, Robert Merrill, Margaret O'Brien, Edith Piaf, Fran Warren, Ed Wynn, Meredith Wilson, and his Big Show Orchestra and Chorus. And every week your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable, Tallulah Bankhead. The Big Show This week, darlings, The Big Show is the Christmas show, broadcast with the cooperation of the Associated Services for the Armed Forces, and dedicated to all our men and women in service who are far from home on this Christmas Eve. A great soldier who has spent a lifetime of Christmases away from home in the service of his country, stands by now for a word of cheer to our men and women throughout the world. From Camp Breckenridge, Kentucky, General Jonathan M. Wainwright, United States Army. I'm happy to join with all your folks at home in bringing a Christmas greeting to you, my comrades of the Armed Forces, wherever you may be. We have shared the joy of other Christmas days together, and we look forward as a united people to that time when peace on earth and goodwill to men will again prevail. May God be with you. Applause Yes, darlings, it is with a mixture of pride and humility that we accept the responsibility of sending to our boys and girls away from their loved ones on Christmas Eve this Christmas package of entertainment, wrapped with loving care and sealed with a Christmas kiss. And also, far from home, this Christmas Eve is one of our guest stars, little Margaret O'Brien. To make her Christmas a merry one, we arrange to have our three comedy stars, Jimmy Duranty, Burt Lahr, and Ed Wynn, play Santa Claus for her. Now, do you understand our complex little plot, darlings? But while they're getting ready, I'm left here at this rather advanced stage in my career, babysitting. Oh, by the way, darlings, I'm available for the same job to anyone listening, and at the same price I may add. I only hope this precocious little movie star doesn't turn out to be the obnoxious brat that most of them are. Good evening, Miss Bankhead. Ah, Margaret O'Brien. Applause Oh, Margaret, look at you. I had an idea you were only seven. Oh, no, I'm quite old now. I'm thirteen, you know. Thirteen, oh. What am I laughing about? Now, Margaret, I've arranged a wonderful Christmas Eve party for you. I'm going out later to a party myself, but before that, I want to make sure that you have lots of fun. Now, what would you like to do until the others get here, huh? Oh, I'd just like to sit around and be gay and jolly and have some laughs. Oh, well, good. Do you want me to tell you some funny stories? Oh, no. Just sing, uh, Give My Regards to Broadway. Laughter This child is older than thirteen. Laughter Miss Bankhead, you don't seem to understand very much about thirteen-year-old children. Darling, when I was born, I was thirteen years old. Laughter How old are you now, Miss Bankhead? Well, I, uh, I wonder if this is safe. How old do you think I am? Well, uh... Of course you must laugh at the lighting here, Margaret. Well, I think... And I've had a tiring rehearsal all day. Well, uh... And I'm still in shock over Happy Chandler being fired. Laughter Well... Well, just don't stand there staring at me with those beautiful big bright eyes and that gorgeous complexion and that silken hair. Say it. How old do you think I am? Well, uh, I think you're quite old. Margaret. You must be at least twenty-five. Laughter Oh, Bankhead, why are you crying? Oh, nothing, darling. I'm just so happy it's twenty-five. Laughter Obviously, child, you know nothing about a woman's age. Obviously, Miss Bankhead, I wanted to be invited back on this show. Laughter I keep running second to this child all the time. Well, Margaret, I'm exacting my duties babysitter. Come over here, child. Uh, can you walk by yourself? Of course. Uh, can you, Miss Bankhead? Laughter Oh, isn't she sweet. Laughter I don't know how I'll be later tonight after the party. Laughter But... Well, now what? Oh, oh, maybe I ought to tell a little story, huh? Would you like to tell me, Margaret? Of course you would. All little girls like stories. Now get comfy now. That's it. Now let me see. Now how do I do this? Oh, oh, I... Once upon a time, there were three actresses. Judith Anderson, Katherine Hepburn, and Gertrude Lawrence. One dark night, they were walking home, and they cut through a dark alley, Schubert's Alley. Laughter And there they saw a big bad wolf. He was a producer. Laughter And he said, I'm doing a new show. Which one of you actresses would like to come up and audition for the leading part? And Judith Anderson said, Hey, friend. And Katherine Hepburn said, I will rally, I will, I mean rally. Laughter And Gertrude Lawrence said, Hey, jellyfish. So they all three went up and auditioned. And after he'd heard them read the part many, many times, and thought about it for several weeks, he hired Gertrude Lawrence for the part. She was his wife. Laughter That same day he saw a little girl waiting outside his office, and he said, You are just perfect to be Gertrude Lawrence's understudy. If anything happens to Gertrude Lawrence, you will play the part. Well, the little girl was over yours. And one day, just before the play opened, a terrible thing happened. The understudy broke an arm. It was Gertrude Lawrence's. Laughter And the understudy went on and played the part, and she became a big hit overnight, and went on from there to become one of the greatest actresses in America. And do you know who that little girl was, Margaret? Oh, sure. Betty Davis. Laughter If you suffer from pains of headache, neuritis, or neuralgia, you should discover what many thousands have known for years, that Anisyn brings incredibly fast, effective relief. Anisyn is like a doctor's prescription. That is, Anisyn contains not just one, but a combination of medically proven active ingredients in easy-to-take tablet form. Probably at some time you have received an envelope containing Anisyn tablets from your physician or dentist. Thousands of people have been introduced to Anisyn this way. Try Anisyn yourself the next time you suffer from the pains of a headache, neuritis, or neuralgia. You'll be delighted at how quickly relief can come. Anisyn is spelled A-M-A-C-I-N. Your druggist has Anisyn in handy boxes of 12 and 30 tablets, and economical family-sized bottles of 50 and 100 for your medicine cabinet. Ask for Anisyn today. Music Meredith, you haven't done anything to get this party rolling. Come here, Meredith. I want you to meet Margaret O'Brien. This is Meredith Wilson, darling. Applause How do you do, Mr. Wilson? Margaret O'Brien? Are you the little girl that I used to see in the movies all the time? That's right. Incredible. My, how you have grown up. It sure makes a person feel old. Hey, is there an echo in here? No, Mr. Wilson. I knew you were going to say that. That's what people keep saying to me all the time. That's the penalty I have to pay for growing up. No one can stay the same age all the time. Can't they now? Well, Meredith, what kind of entertainment could you give Margaret for this Christmas party? We're having an honor, you know. Well, sir, Miss Bankhead, I'll tell you what we used to do back home. I wanted to say, I'll tell you what we used to do back home in Mason City, Iowa. No, no, not on Christmas Eve, Meredith. I'll be glad to. We used to put on plays. Oh, I'll never forget that last play I acted in. Yeah, I have a picture of you acting in a play. Do you have that picture? I've been looking high and low for years. Meredith, please, could we for one week dispense with that nostalgic drivel about your adolescence? But this is very interesting drivel. You see, this play was about this doctor who was in love with this woman, and she was married. Her husband got sick, and the doctor had to operate on him. And the big scene was where the doctor had to make up his mind whether to save the husband and lose the woman he loves or operate without washing his hands and get the woman he loves. Now, before he can make up his mind, the butler comes in and says, Your car is waiting to take you to the hospital. Boy, I want to tell you, that was really dramatically how he walked off the stage, through the fireplace. The fireplace? The door was stuck. And you walked through the fireplace? Oh, not me. I was the butler. What a hit I was, dressed in my t-shirt and shorts. You played a butler dressed in t-shirt and shorts? Well, it was a combination play and basketball game. I played center. And now you're playing the center theater. Meredith, darling, could you possibly play some Christmas music for our little mom? I'd be glad to. We have a number prepared here called Jing-a-ling. Okay, Meredith Wilson and his orchestra chorus in the gayest of the new Christmas songs complete with snowflakes, sleigh bells, and new logs, Jing-a-ling. Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, what fun to hear the sleigh bells jingle Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, they set your heart a jingle Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, I love to hear a lark ring Ha-ha, ho-ho, flying through the snow Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, the bells ring like the snowflakes dancing Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, oh darlin', even fancy Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, the night is made for sleigh-dol-mancy Ha-ha, ho-ho, through the snow they go Through a winter fairyland we go a-diving In a cotton candy land of cotton-shaw And the way the sleigh is slipping and is sliding And the sleigh is sliding even closer in my arms And you hear the sleigh bells dancing while we're single As we fly across the snowy mountain dell And we're happy cause the sleigh bells seem to jingle In the winter fairyland like wedding bells Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, what fun to hear the sleigh bells jingle Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, they set your heart a jingle Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, I love to hear our life a-mingle Ha-ha, ho-ho, oh-ho, gliding through the snow Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, the bells stop the snow-bent-dancing Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, oh darlin', even fancy Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, the night is made for sleigh-dol-mancy From a ho-ho through the snowy gorge Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, Bells stop the snow-bent-dancing Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, oh, darlin', even fancy Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, Jing-a-ling, the night is made for sleigh-dol-mancy Ha-ha, ho-ho, laughing as we go through the winds and snow Meredith Wilson, every week I am amazed how a man who can make such beautiful music can tell such odourific stories. Well, sir, I was thinking the same thing. How a woman can speak so beautifully and then sing Give My Regards to Broadway. Ho, ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas everybody. Merry Christmas. Oh look, here comes Santa Claus. Hello Santa Claus. Hello little girl. Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas. Well, what do you know the child believes in one. Oh, I was hoping you'd come Santa Claus. Oh, I'm so glad to see you Santa Claus. Oh, and by the way, how is Mrs. Lark? Oh, ho, ho, ho, indeed. I told you you couldn't fool a sophisticated child with that Santa Claus, didn't you? Oh, I know he's not the real Santa Claus in Spankhead. He's one of Santa Claus' helpers. The real Santa Claus will be along later. No, have it your own way darling. Bert, this is Margaret O'Brien. Margaret O'Brien? Is this the little girl I used to see in the movies? Incredible. That's exactly what I said, Bert. Here we go again. My, how you have grown up. Make the present feel old. All right, we can do very well without that Christmas trio. Did you bring Margaret a present? I certainly did. I brought a Metropolitan Opera star. Come out here. Why, Robert Merrow. Well, Bob, this is a Christmas present. How are you, Bob, darling? How are you, Bob? Bob, I'm speaking to you. How are you, Bob? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a Christmas present and I can't open my mouth till Christmas. Oh, you're a present for Margaret. Oh, yes, I want you to meet Bob. This is Margaret O'Brien. How do you do? Margaret O'Brien? You're the Margaret O'Brien I saw in the movies, the little girl? That's right, but I didn't know you were ever a little girl. No, I mean when you were a little girl. So you're that little girl. Incredible. Well, here it comes. My, how you are growing up. Makes a person feel old. Well, before we get too old, how about singing for Margaret, Bob? I'd be glad to. Ladies and gentlemen, Robert Merrow sings one of the great Christmas songs of all time, Can't Seek the Noels. O holy night, the stars are brightly shining. It is the night of the dear Savior's birth. Long lay the world in sin and error pining, Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth. The thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. On the eve of Hymn, the angel voices, O night divine, O night when Christ was born, O night divine, O night divine. O night divine, O night divine, O holy night. Fully He taught us to love one another, His law is love and His gospel is peace. Today shall He break, for the slave is our brother, And in His name more fresh guns shall cease. Let hymns of joy and grateful chorus praise He, Let all within us praise His holy name. Christ is born, the world never, never prays for His glory, Glory evermore proclaims His power and glory evermore proclaims. Glory forevermore. RCA Victor has long been pioneering the boundless new world of electronics, and bearing the fruits of that pioneering into homes across the earth, through fine radio, recorded music, and television. It is heartwarming to think of how much these instruments add at all times to the happiness of nations and people, carrying the message and music of Christmas around the world. But it is heartlifting to think of how much they still can add to the peace of nations. On this Christmas Eve night, RCA Victor humbly pledges itself once again to the advancement of radio, recorded music, and television as international mediums. As science continues its conquest of the physical world, we shall look across the hemispheres from nation to nation as we are now accustomed to hear by radio. May this added sense of neighborliness help us better to understand each other. Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas everybody, and to you too, chaloo. Well, if it isn't one of Santa Claus' reindeer. You mean rain, darlin', don't you? I'm one of Santa Claus' helpers. Oh, you and your Santa Claus. What's the matter? Why don't you like Santa Claus? This woman is suffering from claustrophobia. Jimmy, I want you to meet little Margaret O'Brien. Hello, Mr. Durante. Well, Margaret O'Brien. Oh, no, this ain't the Margaret O'Brien I used to see. The Margaret O'Brien I used to know was a tiny little child. I can't believe this is the same girl. Incredible. Shall we go another round? My, how you have grown up. Makes a person feel old. Well, Jimmy, how about a Christmas present for Margaret? I've grown one. Whom did you grow? Whom? Only that great French chartreuse, the one and only Edith Piaf. Edith Piaf. Applause Edith, darling, this is Divine, having you on our show, one of the greatest singers that France has ever sent us. Oh, merci. I would adore having you sing for me right now. And when you're finished, if you like, I will sing for you. Oh, have mercy. Miss Bankhead, I've heard so much about Miss Piaf. May I meet her? Why, of course, child. Miss Piaf, this is Margaret O'Brien. Miss Piaf, this is really a pleasure. This is Margaret O'Brien? Incredible. No, no, not that again. One, two, three, go. My, how you have grown up. Makes a person feel old. I wonder if that will ever replace Fred Waring. Edith, darling, would you sing one of my favorite numbers, Autumn Eve? Oh, I will be glad to. Merci. The falling leaves drift by the window The autumn leaves of red and gold I see your lips, the summer kisses The sunburned hands I used to hold Since you went away, the days go on and soon I'll hear Old winter call But I miss you most of all, my darling Where are our friends, the summer kisses It's a child who looks like me You loved me, I loved you We lived together, the two of us Me who loved me, me who loved you But life separates those who love each other Slowly, without losing sight Love is passing on the white On the white The steps of lovers, of lovers Since you went away, the days go on And soon I'll hear, old winter call But I miss you most of all, my darling Where are our friends, the summer kisses Oh, Merry Christmas everybody, and a Merry Christmas to you, Margaret O'Brien. How about giving me one of Santa Claus' helpers a nice big kiss? Take your hands off me. Yes, that's Peter Spiaff. This is Margaret O'Brien. Hello, Mr. Wynn. You're Margaret O'Brien? But you're not the Margaret O'Brien. Ed, we are not going through that bit again. We know the child has grown up. None of us is getting any younger. We've all grown up. You've grown up and I've grown up. My, now you have grown up. Make the person feel my deal. Margaret, please. Now, Ed, what present did you bring Margaret? Oh, the best of all, really, Tallulah. I brought her a wonderful present. It's an opera. Oh. What a wonderful story. It's the story about... Now, just a minute. Now, Ed, before you tell your story, Ed Hurley, he has a story to tell. Ed? This portion of the big show has been brought to you by the makers of Anison. For fast relief from pain of headache, urethritis, and neuralgia. And by RCA Victor, world leader in radio. First in recorded music, first in television. Now, Tallulah, would you like to bring your child? The flitted NBC, the national broadcasting company. This is the big show. And Tallulah Bankhead is giving a Christmas party for little Margaret O'Brien. Well, Margaret, my pet, are you having fun at your party, enjoying yourself? Oh, it's wonderful, Miss Bankhead. I bet there isn't another 14-year-old girl in the world as happy as I am. 14? I thought you said you were 13. It's such a long show. Well, Ed, how about that opera? Are you ready to tell the story? Oh, yes, I'm ready. I'm more than ready. Have you got anybody to sing the opera so that I can explain the story? We most certainly have somebody. Robert Merrill will sing it. Won't you, Bob, darling? Sure. I'll sing Largo Alpha Totem from the Barber of Seville. Oh, that's a lovely opera. But I'm going to tell the story of Carmen tonight, you know. I'm sorry, I'm singing Figaro. Well, I'm sorry you're singing Figaro too. Because I'm going to explain the opera Carmen. And if you're going to sing that long haired stuff from the Barber of Seville, it just won't fit, that's all. I'm an expert on Carmen, you know, an authority. I know things about Carmen that Carmen herself don't even suspect. But, Ed, you explained Carmen the last time you were on the show. Oh, well, that was only the two acts of the opera, Tellola. But tonight, for the first time in the history of the world, I'm going to tell what happened to Carmen during intermission. I'm going to sing Figaro. If I don't sing Figaro, I won't do anything. And you want to hear me sing, don't you? No, not necessarily. I'm singing Figaro and you explain the story of Figaro. Oh, all right, all right. Just to stop the argument, I'll explain Figaro. But you're going to find out it's going to sound just like Carmen. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Pardon me, pardon me, just a minute. You're singing in Italian and they don't know what you're singing about. I'll explain the opera up till now. As the Caden rises, there is a terrific storm raging off the coast of Australia. But that makes no difference to the opera because the opera takes place in Spain. Now actually, this version of Carmen, which I am describing, has a title which is all its own. The name of it is He Misses White Cooking. Every Chance He Got. Now I'll explain what he's been singing. We first see Carmen seated in her living room. She has just come up from the wine cellar of her home where she stumbled over something 65 years old. It was her father. Now as Carmen is in the sitting room, you can see that she has a figure that is out of this world, you know. And if she just put on a gaiter, she could probably get it back in again. But as a matter of fact, Carmen has only two teeth. This is very interesting. Carmen has two teeth, one in her upper jaw and one in her lower jaw. And one day the tooth in the upper jaw says to the other tooth, let's get together for lunch sometime. At this point, Carmen's father rushes in. This is an interesting scene. He says, Carmen, I am going to get married again. I hope you do not mind. I'm going to marry a girl 18 years old. Carmen says, father, you can't do that. You are 65 years of age. If you marry a girl 18 years of age, 10 years now, you'll be 75 and she'll be only 28. Have you thought of that? The old man says, yes, I thought of that. But why should that stop me? He says, when that time comes, I'll go out and find myself another 18-year-old girl. All right, if you'll continue now. The opera. It's unfortunate that it's always on a high note. Anyhow, in the opera, we now find that Don Jose has come to see Carmen. Don Jose is a lovely fellow. He comes from a fastidious family. His father is fast and his mother is hideous. Anyhow, Don Jose is wearing a suit out of awning material. There is a freeze on goods, you know. Now, he has this suit made of awning material, the same material that people use to make awnings with. The suit is all right. The only trouble is that when the sun goes down, the pants roll up. Now, Don Jose sets a comment. He says, sweetheart, now that we are engaged to be married, let us see lobe tonight. I'll bring a net and you can jump to it from your window. And Carmen says, but I live on the 10th floor. Suppose I miss the net. Don Jose says that in that case, our engagement is off. Now, Carmen says, Don Jose, please, you must ask my father for my hand. And Don Jose says, well, I did ask him. I asked him. And when I told him that I wanted to marry you, he asked me if I had enough money to support you. And when I said yes, he tried to interest me in another proposition. Would you sing that part of the opera, please? Oh, que bel viva, que bel piacere, que bel piacere. That's enough. The audience can't carry all those words, you see. Now, this is where the pop thickens, folks. It doesn't exactly thicken, it just gets a little lumpy. I'll tell you why. A new character enters the opera. His name is Escamillo. And now Escamillo proposes to Carmen and she accepts him. She doesn't want to marry the man for his money, but she can't think of any other way to get it, you know. And now comes one of the most romantic scenes ever to be witnessed on any stage. Escamillo kisses Carmen on her left cheek. Then he kisses her on the right cheek, and then he kisses her on the forehead. Carmen says, keep scouting around, you're bound to find her. Wait a minute, this is some of the horrible. And now the scene changes. It is Christmas Eve and Carmen cooks Escamillo a takey dinner. She says, think of a dear, when Noah was on the ark, there were only two takies in the whole world. Escamillo starts eating his takey and he says, I wonder what happened to the other one. Then Escamillo asks for some marmalade. And when Carmen tells him that they don't have any, Escamillo gets angry and he screams, what kind of a house is this? Carmen says, duck out. Figaro dear Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro For the whole city of the city of the city of the sky Now you know ladies and gentlemen that was the finale of the opera which I would like to explain. At this point in the opera we see Carmen's brother, his name is Ralph he is running to the house. Ralph as it happens in the play is really a lion tamer in the sacred and every day he puts his head right in the lion's mouth but today just as he was going to put his head in the mouth he yawned and the lion looked at him and the lion said just a minute who does what to who? I thought that was good. Anyhow, Ralph, Ralph knocks on the door of Carmen's house and Carmen yells who is it? He says it's Ralph. She says who? He says Ralph, Ralph, Ralph. She says I can't hear a thing there's a dog barking out loud. Then comes the famous wedding scene ladies and gentlemen. Here my mood changes this is wonderful. I'd like to explain this. Carmen's mother and father are the fates to arrive at the wedding. They are wearing bare skin coats. The wife's coat is black bear and the husband's coat is thread bear you see. The wedding ceremony starts and the judge says to Escamillo to marry this woman you well that'll cost you two dollars. Escamillo looks at Carmen he says to the judge what have you got for about three and a half. The judge proceeds with the ceremony and he finally says if anyone objects to this marriage let him speak now and before he shells out I object. The judge says you shut up you're the groom. He says so Carmen and Escamillo are married and they go to the country and Escamillo becomes a gentleman farmer. You can tell he's a gentleman farmer because he tips his hat every time he passes a tomato. But anyhow it is a very early morning and daylight savings time has come in and he is up so early he starts milking a cow on a farm he's a gentleman farmer and it's so early he milks the cow while the cow is still asleep. The cow wakes up at the start and looks at the farmer he says thank heaven's issue I thought I was being robbed. My darling that was a wonderful present now wasn't it Margaret? Oh I enjoyed that immensely this whole party fight why it's been just wonderful and I want to thank Santa Claus for having made it possible. Oh now darling Margaret you're 13 years old surely you're old enough to give up this Santa Claus legend. Oh no Santa Claus isn't a legend he's real. Now look child maybe I'd better straighten you out huh? Miss Spankhead maybe I'd better straighten you out. There was once a little girl who didn't know whether to believe in Santa Claus or not and she wrote a letter about it to the old New York sun the letter said dear editor I'm eight years old some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says if you see it in the sun it's so please tell me the truth is there a Santa Claus that would sign Virginia O'Hanlon and here is the answer they printed. Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus he exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus it would be as dreary as if there were no Virginians. There would be no childlike faith and no poetry no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment except in sense and sight the internal light with which childhood builds the world would be extinguished. Not believe in Santa Claus you might as well not believe in fairy. Nobody sees Santa Claus but that's no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in this world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course but that's no proof that they're not there nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders that are unseen and unseenable in this world. You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside but there's a veil covering the unseen world which would knock the strongest man or even the uniting strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. No Santa Claus? Thank God he lives and he lives forever. A thousand years from now Virginia maybe ten times ten thousand years from now he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood. Margaret child that was beautiful. How could I possibly have grown so far away from that simple wondrous belief that there is a Santa Claus? I thought I was giving you a Christmas you'll remember instead you've brought back something I should never have forgotten. All of a sudden I remember how we sat around our far side at home and sang the joyous Christmas carols so symbolic of this happy happy season. Wouldn't it be wonderful Miss Fankette if we could sing them now? Oh I wish we could. And why can't we? My precious child of course there'll be carols. We had the singers Fran Warren, Edith Piaf, Robert Merrill, we had Mary Wilson and the orchestra and chorus and now we have certainly found the spirit. Oh little kind of Berkeley how still we see thee lie above thy deep and dreamless face. The silent stars go by yet in thy dark street shining the everlasting light. The hope and fears of all the years are made in thee tonight. Forever security what we do Rejoice, and you'll find the way. Yilene, el divine enfant, Jouez au bois, réconnez, musette. Yilene, el divine enfant, Chantons tous son arraignement, Depuis plus de quatre mille ans, Nous voulons pour mille et pour quatre, Depuis plus de quatre mille ans, Nous attendions cette recente. Yilene, el divine enfant, Chantons tous son arraignement. God rest ye merry gentlemen, Let nothing you dismay, Remember Christ our Savior, Was born on Christmas Day, To save us all from Savings Paul, When we were gone astray. O tidings of comfort and joy, Comfort and joy, O tidings of comfort and joy. God rest ye merry gentlemen, Let nothing you dismay, Remember Christ our Savior, When we were gone astray. No, tu ris et, Rejoice, and you'll find the way. Venite adoremos, venite adoremos, Venite adoremos, domino. And now everybody, you here in the theater, you at home, and especially you men and women far from home, won't you please join us in singing, Oh come, all ye faithful. Oh come, all ye faithful, Joy, joy, and triumph, O come ye, O come ye to heaven. O come, all ye faithful, Joy, joy, and triumph, O come ye to heaven. O come ye to heaven. O come ye to heaven. Oh, Margie darling, I thought it almost over. Our friends, dear friends, as years go on and heads get gray, how fast the guests you go. Touch hands, touch hands, with those that stay. Strong hands to weak, old hands to young, around the Christmas board. Touch hands, the first time you touch hands, the false forget, the foe forgive, for every guest will go and every fire burn low, and cabin empty stand. Forget, forgive, for who may say that Christmas day may ever come to host or guest again. Touch hands, touch hands. Well, darlings, it has been our Christmas show, dedicated to our loved ones and the service of our country all over the world. God bless you and God speed your journey home. Next Sunday we'll celebrate New Year's Eve. When our stars will be Vivian Blaine, Hilda Ferrer, Sam Levine, Ken Murray, Margaret O'Brien, Gloria Swanson, Fran Warren and others, and as usual Mary Wilson and the Big Show officer and chorus. And until then, may the good Lord bless and keep you, whether near or far away, friends. May you find that long way to go today, today. May your troubles all be small ones and your fortunes ten times ten. Jimmy, may the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again. Meredith. May you walk with sunlight shining and a bluebird in every tree. Ed, may there be a silver lining back of every cloud you see. Margaret. May your dreams with sweet tomorrow, never mind what might have been. Edith. May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again. Robert. May you walk with sunlight shining and a bluebird in every tree. May there be a silver lining back of every cloud you see. May your dreams with sweet tomorrow, never mind what might have been. May the good Lord bless and keep you until we meet again. May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet, till we meet again. A safe and a Merry Christmas, darling. Listen to The Big Show next Sunday when we will have with us Vivian Blaine, Jose Ferrer, Sam Levine, Ken Murray, Margaret O'Brien, Gloria Swanson, Grant Warren and others, Meredith Wilson and The Big Show Orchestra and Chorus, and of course your hosts, the glamorous, unpredictable, Tallulah Bankhead. The various touch hands was written by William Harris Murray and the letter to Virginia was presented by the formation of the New York World Telegram's touch. The Big Show is directed and produced by Dee Engelbach and written by Goodman Aisman, George Foster, Mort Green and Frank Wilson. That early, he wished you a Merry Christmas.