WEBVTT

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Isaac, you're about to be entertained by some of the biggest names in scovages.

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For the next hour and 30 minutes, this program will present in person such bright stars as...

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Fred Allen, Eddie Cantor, Portland Hoffa, Judy Holliday, Kipsey Rose Lee, Warren Monroe, Patrice Munsell, Meredith Wilkins, and my name darling is Tallulah Bankschek.

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The National Broadcasting Company presents The Big Show.

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The Big Show, 90 minutes with the most scintillating personalities in the entertainment world.

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Brought to you this Sunday and every Sunday at the same time as the Sunday feature of NBC's All Star Fesson.

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And here is your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable Tallulah Bankhead.

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Hello darlings, I feel simply magnificent today. Guess what? A divine thing has happened.

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Some man has fallen madly in love with me.

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Well, on Monday he sent me a stunning red rose. On Tuesday he sent me two roses.

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And on Wednesday he sent me three roses. And on Thursday he sent me four.

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Well, guess what? You thought I was bottled up there, didn't you darling?

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I think I've lost some plays. Oh, yeah I am.

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Well, I sent the... Fred Allen's on the program, I've got to ad lib him.

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Well, I simply adore anonymous admirers.

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I mean, I simply adore not right, yes, but I never get to meet them. Maybe that's why they admire us.

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Oh, now that doesn't sound right, does it?

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And I just can't accept gifts from someone I don't know.

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Well, I had some friends over the other night and they advised me to return the flowers.

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So I returned Monday's rose and Tuesday's two roses and Wednesday's three roses.

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Well darlings, I could return Thursday's flowers, my friends drank them.

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We did not drink them. Oh gypsy darling, gypsy rosely.

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Applause

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It's good to be on the show, you Toulouse. Even if it's just to see you again, it's been so long since we've seen each other, hasn't it?

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Well, yes it has, Gypsy. Let me look at you.

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Oh darling, since the last time I saw you, you certainly have put on clothes.

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Please Toulouse, I wish you wouldn't talk about that.

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Oh, well everybody knows you're famous for taking off clothes.

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Yes, and everybody knows you're famous for taking off birthdays.

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Well, here we go again boys.

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Why is it that every woman who visits on the big show feels too much fight with me?

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They all come on wearing gloves.

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Wearing gloves? Oh, I'm sorry Toulouse, I can take my gloves off.

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And that's all darling, this is radio.

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I know Toulouse, I happen to be in this for ceremonies on my own radio show, just as you are here.

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I think we should be friends. We have a lot in common.

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Oh, you're quite right to say. Here we are, two women MCs.

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Now I know what MC stands for, man's conqueror.

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Oh, by the way darling, what kind of show do you do?

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It's a quiz show.

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Oh yes, of course, take it off or leave it.

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Not quite darling, it's called What Makes You Tick? And you might do worse than to listen to it Toulouse.

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It's rather an adult show. I have to buy a new dress, a new gown, a new dress every week to go to Class C Atmosphere.

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Gypsy my sweet, my pet, with all due respect to your show, which is after all only half an hour,

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my show is three half hours and I need three gowns every week.

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Yes, but you have to wear all three at the same time darling?

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Oh, here's the screen.

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The gypsy is the only woman in the world who can say she has nothing to wear and wear it.

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Salula, I just bought this nothing I'm wearing and it cost $500.

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$500? I have pride, it's gone up.

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Well I just bought this gown and it was reduced to $750.

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Very nice, Salula, it's lovely. I hope you won't think I'm prying, but what size do you take?

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Size 12.

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Oh, the size was reduced too.

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Oh now Gypsy darling, here we are two intelligent women standing around quibbling about clothes.

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You know that men always say women have nothing to talk about with clothes.

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They're so silly aren't they Gypsy?

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Oh of course.

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But we have so many things we can talk about.

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Certainly.

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There's no reason for grown up women to confine themselves to bickering about clothes.

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Of course not. We could talk about, oh, hmm.

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Hmm.

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Oh, oh, hmm.

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Well, what were you saying about my dress darling?

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Now, Salula, stop. We were both in the theater together. We could discuss that.

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Gypsy, I wouldn't ever for one moment underestimate your huge contribution to the theater.

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But after all darling, I am a famous dramatic actress. I know how to project.

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Me too, honey.

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I know how to underplay.

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Me too, honey.

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I know how to play out of my soul.

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I pass.

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You know Gypsy, the legitimate theater is a stern cast monster. It can be pretty rough darling.

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Well, my branch of the theater was quite rugged too.

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Yes, I hear it's one long grind.

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But the fascinating thing about me Gypsy is that in all my years in the theater, not once did I ever forget my lines.

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In all my years in the theater, not once did the audience ever forget mine.

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I played before practically every man and woman in the world.

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Well, I must admit honey, I only had half your audience.

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Well, I can make an audience here just by, well, by twitching an eyebrow.

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I pass.

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Now Gypsy, you can't keep on farting darling. You've got to call or raise.

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I'll call honey. How long have you been in the theater?

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I pass.

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Ladies and gentlemen, Meredith Wilson and the Big Show Orchestra and Chorus play their arrangement of If You Feel Like Singing, Sing.

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Gypsy darling, why don't you sit down? I know it's such a temptation to walk back and forth across the stage while the music is playing.

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If you feel like singing, sing.

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If you feel like singing, sing.

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You're better the way

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There's nothing about living out with a strong

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Take you too long

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Tell you find a piece of my anvil there

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You should feel like coming home

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To leave me all alone

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Supposing you don't read me slightly or see

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Everyone can hear me

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Tell your friends to go on a trip, they're not making faces

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You feel like hanging in there

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If you like a peri, Carmen or Macari

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Go spend an hour under the shower

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Or eat your song from the mountain

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Before I go ever sleep

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So come down, down, down, what's in un-dreaming

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That sometime you'd like to scream

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Do you feel like coming home

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To leave me all alone

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If you feel like coming home

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To leave me all alone

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You feel like humming hums,

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Siddly-dee-dee-da-dee-da.

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Just look in the mirror and guess what you wear,

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And make your mind rest at all.

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Don't you tell about your dwellings,

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Your neighbors start yelling,

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If you can't sing good things at all.

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La-dee-da, la-dee-da,

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When your life is in need of repair.

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La-dee-da,

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Don't you care,

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When anyone who feels different,

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Will trip up like a whipplewhip,

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In long-distance,

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Never at 18,

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Any anniversary,

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Our Phoenix will next only end.

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You feel like singing,

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For a love to be,

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La-dee-da-da,

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Into your arms,

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On deck.

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Divine as usual, Meredith.

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Darling, meet Meredith Wilson.

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Hello, Miss Banker.

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Hello, Meredith. Have you met Gypsy Rose Lee?

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She who?

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Gypsy. This is our brilliant musical conductor,

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Dr. Meredith Wilson.

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Hello, Meredith.

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Gee, where is it?

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The Gypsies are famous entertainers.

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Gee, strange.

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Hey, I'll tell you a very funny story about that.

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Meredith, please.

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I didn't know you knew about Gypsy's talent.

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Oh, sure. I read, you know.

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Darling, how cunning.

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Oh, sure. I've read all of Miss Lee's books.

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I consider her one of the finest writers in the world,

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living or dead.

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Oh, I can see this kid knows all about me.

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Ever since your first book, Miss Lee,

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The G-string Murders,

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I've been an avid reader of your work.

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How avid, avid can you get?

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But the story of how I came to buy your first book is a doozy.

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Glad you asked me.

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Well, here we go, darling.

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Well, sir, Miss Bankhead,

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I was in Omaha, Nebraska at the time.

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I want to say Omaha.

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Was it Pierre, North Dakota?

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Could have been Pierre.

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Or was it Omaha?

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I thought it was Pierre.

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No, it wasn't Pierre. It was Omaha.

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Lucky Pierre.

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Pierre.

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Well, I was playing a date there with a band,

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and we had a break for a couple hours.

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It was just about the time your book came out, Miss Lee,

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and I went by a place which had your picture out in front of it.

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So I figured it was the library, and I went in to read your book.

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Well, sir, they sure have funny libraries in Omaha.

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I laugh every time I think of it.

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Yes, I do too. Don't you get to?

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I pass.

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Well, the strangest thing is,

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I guess the women don't read much in Omaha.

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The place is filled with men.

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And the librarian.

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It's the first time I've ever seen singing librarians.

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Boy, it was the liveliest library you ever saw.

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And there you are, darling.

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Get on with the story about Gypsy Rose Lee.

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Strip it down to its barracks, essentially.

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Well, sir, I would have liked to have browsed around a little,

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but they didn't have a copy of the book,

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so I left and got it someplace else.

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I laugh, but what's the point?

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Gypsy, you optimist.

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Optimist.

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Well, sir, Miss Lee, I told the boys in the band about it,

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and ever since that time, whenever we stop in Omaha,

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the same thing happened.

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For a bunch of fellows that don't read,

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the boys in my band sure spend a lot of time in the library

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in Omaha, Nebraska.

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Well, brother.

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We are happy now to welcome to the big show

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a brilliant young comedian from Hollywood,

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the glamorous and talented Columbia Pictures star,

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Miss Julie Holliday.

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Julie Holliday's most recent, most hilarious triumph

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is in Columbia Pictures' brand new smash hit,

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The Scream.

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The Scream is a

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the screening of Garth and Kanan's Broadway success,

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Born Yesterday.

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I'm happy now to welcome to the big show

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a brilliant young comedian from Hollywood,

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the glamorous and talented Columbia Pictures star,

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Miss Julie Holliday.

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The Beauty Holiday's most recent, most hilarious triumph

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is in Columbia Pictures' brand new smash hit,

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the screening of Garth and Canaan's Broadway success,

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Born Yesterday.

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We present Miss Holliday now in a scene from that picture,

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starring Julie Holliday in Born Yesterday.

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Born Yesterday is a story of a junk tycoon called Harry Brock,

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who has more junkyard, more money, more connections

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than grammar or scruples.

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It is a story of a beautiful gal, Billy Dawn,

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who has more mean coat, more angles, more curves,

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and book learning.

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It is a story of Paul Zello, a young Washington newspaper

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man, who is hired by Brock to wise Billy up to the ways

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of Washington's stock.

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The scene is Brock's Washington Hotel Street,

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where Brock's Billy and Brock's lawyer

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are playing host to a certain unscrupulous congressman

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and his wife.

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The social amenities are about to get a real going over.

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Yes, Congressman, you ought to remember this little lady,

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a great first nighter like you.

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She used to be Billy Dawn.

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Hiya, Joe.

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And this is Mrs. Hedges, Billy.

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Glad to meet you.

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Glad to meet you.

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I guess we can leave the girls together, Congressman,

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while we see about the drinks.

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Well, and how do you like Washington, Mrs. Brock?

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Mrs. Billy, I haven't seen Washington yet.

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Oh, you mean to say this is the very first time you've been here?

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Yeah, that's what I mean.

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I never went on the road.

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Well, I'm sure you'll find it a very interesting city.

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Too bad the Supreme Court isn't in session.

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You'd love that.

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Yes, what is it?

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Well, hello, everybody.

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Well, Brock.

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And I suppose this is Congressman Hedges' wife,

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eh, Mrs. Hedges?

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That's right.

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I certainly am happy to make your acquaintance.

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Thank you so much.

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Did you have a good trip down?

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Oh, sure.

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I come in my car.

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I came.

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Had to step off in Baltimore on the way.

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I got a yard there.

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A junkyard.

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It was the second yard I picked up.

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Before that, I only had one.

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How many do you have now?

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I couldn't answer that one, baby.

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Oh, excuse me.

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That's all right.

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I don't know why I like the little Baltimore outfit.

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I just always get kind of a feeling from it.

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You know what I mean?

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Sentimental.

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That said, I'm sentimental, like you say.

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I think we're all a bit sentimental.

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Yeah.

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Well, it's a free country.

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Do you play bridge, Mrs. Brach?

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No, only gin.

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I beg your pardon.

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Gin rummin'.

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Excuse me, the congressman wants to know how you're fixed for time tomorrow morning, Harry.

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10 o'clock all right?

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That's pretty early for me.

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Oh, thank you.

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11?

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Okay.

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Well, I'm sorry you folks have to run.

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Do you want to wash your hands or anything, honey?

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No, no, thank you very much.

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Well, good night.

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Thanks for everything.

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Good night.

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Good night.

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Good night, all.

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Oh, brother, did you ever put your foot in it?

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What'd I do?

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Nothing, nothing.

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Oh, brother, something's gonna have to be done about you.

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They're drips.

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Huh?

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I said they're drips.

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Who are you to say?

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For myself, that's who.

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Well, shut up.

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Nobody asked you.

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Pardon me for livin'.

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All right, get lost.

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Not yet.

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Get lost, I told you.

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Hey, Tevery, get that newspaper guy, Ferrell, on the phone.

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Tell him I want to see him here right away.

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I got an idea.

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You sure you ate already, Ferrell?

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How about a scuttle or something?

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No, thanks.

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Have a drink.

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No, thanks.

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Well, okay, pal.

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Want to ask you something?

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Sure.

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How much you make a week?

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To quote you, how should I know?

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Well, am I an accountant?

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I love this guy.

17:46.280 --> 17:47.380
What's your name again?

17:47.380 --> 17:47.980
Ferrell.

17:47.980 --> 17:50.020
No, no, no, I mean your regular name.

17:50.020 --> 17:50.860
Paul.

17:50.860 --> 17:53.020
All right, now listen, Paul, here's the layout.

17:53.020 --> 17:54.460
I got a friend.

17:54.460 --> 17:55.700
Nice kid.

17:55.700 --> 17:57.260
I think you've probably seen him here before.

17:57.260 --> 17:57.800
Billy?

17:57.800 --> 17:58.500
Oh, yeah.

17:58.500 --> 17:59.640
Yeah, well, she's a good kid.

17:59.640 --> 18:02.760
Only to tell you the truth, a little on the stupid side.

18:02.760 --> 18:04.040
It's not her fault, you understand.

18:04.040 --> 18:05.800
I got her out of the chorus.

18:05.800 --> 18:07.800
In the chorus, she was smart enough.

18:07.800 --> 18:09.780
But I'm scared she's going to be unhappy in this town, you see.

18:09.780 --> 18:11.780
She's never been around with such kind of people.

18:11.780 --> 18:12.680
Know what I mean?

18:12.680 --> 18:13.680
No.

18:13.680 --> 18:15.720
Well, I figure a guy like you could help her out.

18:15.720 --> 18:16.880
And me too.

18:16.880 --> 18:17.820
How?

18:17.820 --> 18:19.020
Show her the ropes, sort of.

18:19.020 --> 18:22.120
Explain her what goes on and all like that here in Washington, huh?

18:22.120 --> 18:23.960
In your spare time.

18:23.960 --> 18:25.260
What do you say?

18:25.260 --> 18:27.720
No, I don't think I can handle it, Mr. Brock.

18:27.720 --> 18:29.360
Means a lot to me.

18:29.360 --> 18:31.700
Give me 200 bucks a week?

18:31.700 --> 18:33.900
Well, all right, I'll do it.

18:33.900 --> 18:34.840
When do I start?

18:34.840 --> 18:35.340
Right now.

18:35.340 --> 18:36.140
Why not right now?

18:36.140 --> 18:36.740
Fine.

18:36.740 --> 18:37.440
Come on with me, kid.

18:37.440 --> 18:38.240
Let me introduce you.

18:38.240 --> 18:39.040
You take it from there, hey?

18:39.040 --> 18:40.140
Good.

18:40.140 --> 18:41.240
Billy!

18:41.240 --> 18:42.240
Ah!

18:42.240 --> 18:42.740
Yeah.

18:42.740 --> 18:46.040
Come on down here a minute.

18:46.040 --> 18:46.840
She's a real good kid.

18:46.840 --> 18:47.640
You like her.

18:47.640 --> 18:48.640
I was getting dreaded.

18:48.640 --> 18:49.380
It's all right.

18:49.380 --> 18:49.980
It's all right.

18:49.980 --> 18:51.320
He's a friend of the family.

18:51.320 --> 18:53.280
Come on in, I'm telling you.

18:53.280 --> 18:53.920
OK.

18:53.920 --> 18:55.320
Honey, this is Paul Farrell.

18:55.320 --> 18:56.620
Yes, I know.

18:56.620 --> 18:57.860
He wants to talk to you.

18:57.860 --> 18:58.560
What about?

18:58.560 --> 18:59.320
You'll find out.

18:59.320 --> 19:00.220
Sit down.

19:00.220 --> 19:02.660
Well, I got a little work to do, so I'll have to be leaving you two.

19:02.660 --> 19:04.120
Now, get together.

19:04.120 --> 19:06.660
I'll be seeing you.

19:06.660 --> 19:12.160
Your, uh, your friend, Mr. Brock, has an idea he'd like us to spend a little time together.

19:12.160 --> 19:14.180
You and me, that is.

19:14.180 --> 19:15.800
You don't say?

19:15.800 --> 19:16.680
Yes.

19:16.680 --> 19:21.140
Will you use some kind of jiggle-o?

19:21.140 --> 19:22.520
No, not exactly.

19:22.520 --> 19:23.980
What's the idea?

19:23.980 --> 19:24.680
Nothing special.

19:24.680 --> 19:28.480
He just wants me to put you eyes to a few things, show you the ropes, answer any questions.

19:28.480 --> 19:30.520
I got no questions.

19:30.520 --> 19:31.760
Well, I'll give you some.

19:31.760 --> 19:32.660
Thanks.

19:32.660 --> 19:34.660
Might be, might be fun for you in a way.

19:34.660 --> 19:36.520
There's a lot to see down here in Washington.

19:36.520 --> 19:37.920
I'll be glad to show you around.

19:37.920 --> 19:39.820
You know the Supreme Court?

19:39.820 --> 19:40.400
Yes.

19:40.400 --> 19:42.660
I'd like to take that in.

19:42.660 --> 19:44.000
Sure.

19:44.000 --> 19:44.900
Where on, then?

19:44.900 --> 19:46.300
How do you mean?

19:46.300 --> 19:47.840
Uh, the arrangement.

19:47.840 --> 19:48.800
I don't mind.

19:48.800 --> 19:50.700
Got nothing much to do.

19:50.700 --> 19:53.240
Good.

19:53.240 --> 19:54.740
What's he paying you?

19:54.740 --> 19:55.440
Two hundred.

19:55.440 --> 19:56.180
He's sucking it.

19:56.180 --> 19:56.820
Said he got more.

19:56.820 --> 19:59.740
He's got plenty.

19:59.740 --> 20:01.820
As a matter of fact, I'd have done it for free.

20:01.820 --> 20:03.780
I would.

20:03.780 --> 20:04.380
Why?

20:04.380 --> 20:05.260
Well, this isn't work.

20:05.260 --> 20:07.160
I like it.

20:07.160 --> 20:09.560
He thinks I'm too stupid, huh?

20:09.560 --> 20:10.160
I know.

20:10.160 --> 20:10.800
He's right.

20:10.800 --> 20:14.460
I'm stupid and I like it.

20:14.460 --> 20:16.040
Well, you do.

20:16.040 --> 20:16.540
Sure.

20:16.540 --> 20:17.400
I'm happy.

20:17.400 --> 20:18.500
I get everything I want.

20:18.500 --> 20:21.640
Two main coats, everything.

20:21.640 --> 20:24.600
If there's not my one, I ask.

20:24.600 --> 20:35.520
If you don't come across, I don't come across.

20:35.520 --> 20:36.520
Yeah.

20:36.520 --> 20:39.020
So as long as I know how to get what I want,

20:39.020 --> 20:40.220
that's all I want to do.

20:40.220 --> 20:43.460
As long as you, as long as you know what you want.

20:43.460 --> 20:44.560
Yeah.

20:44.560 --> 20:46.200
What?

20:46.200 --> 20:48.500
As long as you know what you want.

20:48.500 --> 20:51.600
Are you trying to mix me up?

20:51.600 --> 20:53.100
I know.

20:53.100 --> 20:54.860
I'll tell you what I would like.

20:54.860 --> 20:55.740
Yes?

20:55.740 --> 20:58.180
I'd like to learn how to talk good.

20:58.180 --> 20:59.140
All right.

20:59.140 --> 21:00.380
Is it hard to learn?

21:00.380 --> 21:01.380
I don't think so.

21:01.380 --> 21:02.980
What do I have to do?

21:02.980 --> 21:04.880
Well, I might give you a few books to start with,

21:04.880 --> 21:07.480
and then if you don't mind, I'll correct you now then.

21:07.480 --> 21:09.020
Go ahead.

21:09.020 --> 21:09.940
Well, I know that is.

21:09.940 --> 21:11.320
I don't talk so good myself.

21:11.320 --> 21:12.320
You do.

21:12.320 --> 21:12.920
Fine.

21:12.920 --> 21:13.820
I never say ain't.

21:13.820 --> 21:14.620
Did you notice that?

21:14.620 --> 21:16.380
Never.

21:16.380 --> 21:17.320
I do.

21:17.320 --> 21:18.720
Well, I'll correct you then.

21:18.720 --> 21:24.000
Since I was very small, I never say it.

21:24.000 --> 21:28.360
We had this teacher shoot a slug at you, didn't we?

21:28.360 --> 21:29.040
Did what?

21:29.040 --> 21:30.240
Sitting.

21:30.240 --> 21:30.740
Oh.

21:30.740 --> 21:32.600
Dag it out of the habit.

21:32.600 --> 21:34.080
You think it was worth the slugging?

21:34.080 --> 21:35.380
Oh, not hard.

21:35.380 --> 21:36.640
It's the principle of the thing.

21:36.640 --> 21:37.640
There's too much slugging.

21:37.640 --> 21:39.880
I don't believe in it.

21:39.880 --> 21:40.480
All right.

21:40.480 --> 21:41.880
I don't believe in it either.

21:41.880 --> 21:42.380
Good.

21:42.380 --> 21:45.020
I'm learning pretty fast, though.

21:45.020 --> 21:46.360
You're great, Miss Dillon.

21:46.360 --> 21:47.160
Billy.

21:47.160 --> 21:48.460
Billy.

21:48.460 --> 21:49.960
Sort of an odd name, isn't it?

21:49.960 --> 21:50.960
What are you talking?

21:50.960 --> 21:52.760
Half the kids I know named it.

21:52.760 --> 21:54.200
Anyway, it isn't my real name.

21:54.200 --> 21:55.860
Oh, what is?

21:55.860 --> 21:57.100
Holy smoke.

21:57.100 --> 21:57.600
Emma.

22:00.160 --> 22:01.340
What's the matter?

22:01.340 --> 22:05.040
Well, do I look to you like an Emma?

22:05.040 --> 22:06.080
No.

22:06.080 --> 22:08.240
You don't look like a Billy either.

22:08.240 --> 22:10.380
So what do I look like?

22:10.380 --> 22:11.480
To me?

22:11.480 --> 22:13.420
Yeah, to you.

22:13.420 --> 22:16.780
You look like a delightful girl.

22:16.780 --> 22:19.060
Oh.

22:19.060 --> 22:22.020
Let me ask you.

22:22.020 --> 22:24.260
Are you one of these talkers, or would you

22:24.260 --> 22:26.260
be interested in a little action?

22:26.260 --> 22:26.760
Ah!

22:37.740 --> 22:41.580
I got a yen for your ride home.

22:41.580 --> 22:44.080
Do you get many?

22:44.080 --> 22:45.640
Now and then.

22:45.640 --> 22:47.120
What do you do about them?

22:47.120 --> 22:47.620
Stick around.

22:47.620 --> 22:48.620
You'll find out.

22:48.620 --> 22:51.120
Wow!

22:51.120 --> 22:52.620
All right, I will.

22:52.620 --> 22:55.120
And if you want a tip, I'll tell you sweet talk to me.

22:55.120 --> 22:55.620
I like it.

22:55.620 --> 22:57.620
I like that delightful girl line.

22:57.620 --> 22:59.120
Well, I better get a little.

22:59.120 --> 23:00.100
Don't worry about him.

23:00.100 --> 23:03.600
He'll see it, D. He's too dizzy from being a big man.

23:03.600 --> 23:07.100
This is going to be a little different than I thought.

23:07.100 --> 23:08.600
Um, you mind?

23:08.600 --> 23:09.600
No.

23:09.600 --> 23:13.080
It's only fair we'll educate each other.

23:13.080 --> 23:15.080
I'm looking around my place for some books.

23:15.080 --> 23:17.080
If anything interesting, I'll drop it by later.

23:17.080 --> 23:17.580
All right.

23:17.580 --> 23:21.080
You can drop it by even if it's not so interesting.

23:21.080 --> 23:22.080
Hey, Paul.

23:22.080 --> 23:23.080
Here, Mr. Brock.

23:23.080 --> 23:24.080
Oh, good night.

23:24.080 --> 23:25.580
And don't forget them books.

23:25.580 --> 23:26.580
Oh, there you are.

23:26.580 --> 23:28.560
Well, you two going to get together?

23:28.560 --> 23:30.060
I think we're all set.

23:30.060 --> 23:30.560
Right, great.

23:30.560 --> 23:31.060
Appreciate it.

23:31.060 --> 23:32.560
So do I.

23:32.560 --> 23:34.060
Well, I guess I'll be going.

23:34.060 --> 23:36.060
So long, kid.

23:36.060 --> 23:38.560
Well, so long, Billy.

23:38.560 --> 23:42.040
So long, kid.

23:42.040 --> 23:45.980
Well, in days a glimpse is stuck in with loose

23:45.980 --> 23:47.980
and it's something shocking.

23:47.980 --> 23:53.480
But my lord knows, Karen, anything goes.

24:06.480 --> 24:09.000
A superb, superb characterization,

24:09.000 --> 24:10.000
Judy, darling, divine.

24:10.000 --> 24:12.000
Now, one of you is selected by the AP

24:12.000 --> 24:15.000
correspondence code as the best actress of the year.

24:15.000 --> 24:16.500
Come over here and let's chat.

24:16.500 --> 24:19.500
What about?

24:19.500 --> 24:21.500
Why, darling, whenever an actress comes on the show,

24:21.500 --> 24:23.000
we always have a talk.

24:23.000 --> 24:24.500
Why?

24:24.500 --> 24:25.500
Well, people expect it.

24:25.500 --> 24:27.000
This is a big show.

24:27.000 --> 24:30.020
Now, why do you hear for an hour and a half?

24:30.020 --> 24:31.520
You know, if you didn't talk so much,

24:31.520 --> 24:37.020
you could be home in a half hour like everybody else.

24:37.020 --> 24:39.520
If you understand, darling, we want to talk about you

24:39.520 --> 24:41.520
and I imagine Gar Canaan had you in mind

24:41.520 --> 24:43.520
when he wrote the part of Billy Donovan yesterday.

24:43.520 --> 24:44.520
You're so perfect in the part.

24:44.520 --> 24:45.520
That voice.

24:45.520 --> 24:47.540
Oh, that's all an act.

24:47.540 --> 24:50.040
That's my stage voice.

24:50.040 --> 24:52.040
This is my real voice.

24:52.040 --> 24:56.540
Yes, of course, yes.

24:56.540 --> 24:58.040
Just like you.

24:58.040 --> 24:59.540
On the stage you're one person,

24:59.540 --> 25:01.040
in the movies you're another person.

25:01.040 --> 25:06.040
Don't you dare make it under any mother's program.

25:06.040 --> 25:08.060
You don't like Billy Donovan?

25:08.060 --> 25:13.060
The wrong name, darling, with the right initials.

25:13.060 --> 25:14.560
You don't feel good.

25:14.560 --> 25:16.060
Oh, I do fine, Judy.

25:16.060 --> 25:18.060
I suppose I've become a little overawed at times.

25:18.060 --> 25:20.060
This show has a very big responsibility.

25:20.060 --> 25:23.060
Rehearsals, writing, direction, production, acting.

25:23.060 --> 25:25.060
I pour everything into this program.

25:25.060 --> 25:27.080
I devote all my time to this show.

25:27.080 --> 25:29.080
You're single, huh?

25:29.080 --> 25:38.080
Hey, girl.

25:38.080 --> 25:41.080
I'm on a test, if that's what you mean.

25:41.080 --> 25:44.080
You should be attached.

25:44.080 --> 25:47.080
How come you're not married?

25:47.080 --> 25:52.080
Nobody asked him.

25:52.080 --> 25:54.080
My dear girl, I am probably the most

25:54.080 --> 25:56.080
sought after woman in the world.

25:56.080 --> 25:58.080
I can have my pick of the most eligible men.

25:58.080 --> 26:00.080
Englishmen, Frenchmen, Italians,

26:00.080 --> 26:01.080
Counts, Dukes, Earls.

26:01.080 --> 26:03.080
They fought for me, whined behind me,

26:03.080 --> 26:05.080
told me everything in the world.

26:05.080 --> 26:12.080
Nobody asked you, huh?

26:12.080 --> 26:15.080
I've had men chasing me for years.

26:15.080 --> 26:19.080
You should have let someone of them catch up with you.

26:19.080 --> 26:22.080
Obviously, my dear, someone's caught up with you.

26:22.080 --> 26:24.080
I let them.

26:24.080 --> 26:27.080
Hey, listen, maybe what you need is glamour.

26:27.080 --> 26:29.080
You know what glamour is?

26:29.080 --> 26:30.120
The Hengiz

26:30.120 --> 26:34.080
You don't know, huh?

26:34.080 --> 26:37.080
Darling, they call me the glamorous and unpredictable

26:37.080 --> 26:38.080
Toulouse banquet.

26:38.080 --> 26:41.080
Oh, what's unpredictable?

26:41.080 --> 26:44.080
And I thought I had trouble with Mary Wilson.

26:44.080 --> 26:46.080
Unpredictable, that's because people never know

26:46.080 --> 26:48.080
what I'm liable to do or say.

26:48.080 --> 26:52.080
I do and say whatever I feel like at all times.

26:52.080 --> 27:01.080
So why do they say unpredictable when they mean crazy?

27:01.080 --> 27:06.080
This is one holiday that I could never have observed.

27:06.080 --> 27:09.080
Now, second thought, it should be under observation.

27:09.080 --> 27:13.080
Julie, darling, I pray that Bournemouth is some of the greatest names in show business,

27:13.080 --> 27:20.080
but never have I been insulted so painlessly, so effortlessly, so deeply.

27:20.080 --> 27:23.080
To think a new young actress coming along to my little me

27:23.080 --> 27:26.080
in front of millions of people.

27:26.080 --> 27:32.080
The shame of it, the humiliation of it.

27:32.080 --> 27:35.080
If you get married, you won't be so nervous.

27:35.080 --> 27:37.080
Ah!

27:44.080 --> 27:48.080
Oh, you know, that was indeed my darling.

27:48.080 --> 27:50.080
I was just acting.

27:50.080 --> 27:52.080
Oh, that's wonderful acting.

27:52.080 --> 27:55.080
You go from laughing to crying to laughing to crying.

27:55.080 --> 27:56.080
Yes.

27:56.080 --> 27:57.080
Ah ha ha ha!

27:57.080 --> 28:01.080
Oh, I wish I could do that.

28:01.080 --> 28:04.080
Hey, you radio actresses are so good.

28:04.080 --> 28:05.080
What?

28:05.080 --> 28:08.080
Hey, maybe I could get you an audition on television.

28:08.080 --> 28:11.080
Don't you dare mention that medium on this program.

28:11.080 --> 28:13.080
Oh, Toulouse, I was just thinking.

28:13.080 --> 28:15.080
Oh, excuse me, I didn't realize you were talking to someone.

28:15.080 --> 28:17.080
Oh, give me a minute, this is Judy Holliday.

28:17.080 --> 28:18.080
How do you do?

28:18.080 --> 28:19.080
Nice to meet you.

28:19.080 --> 28:20.080
Hey, I remember you.

28:20.080 --> 28:23.080
You're the one who did the dance with the fans.

28:23.080 --> 28:48.080
Don't you dare mention that name on this program.

28:48.080 --> 28:51.080
You have been listening to Mary Wilson and the Big Kill auction call.

28:51.080 --> 28:53.080
I'll be back in a moment as soon as I ring my chime.

28:53.080 --> 29:16.080
This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.

29:16.080 --> 29:18.080
The big show.

29:18.080 --> 29:25.080
The Sunday night feature of NBC's All Star Festival is brought to you by the makers of

29:25.080 --> 29:30.080
Panason for fast relief from pain of headache, neuritis, and neuralgia.

29:30.080 --> 29:37.080
And by RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television.

29:37.080 --> 29:42.080
The big stars on this program are Fred Allen, Eddie Cantor, Portland Hoffa, Judy Holliday,

29:42.080 --> 29:45.080
Gypsy Radio, and the Big Show.

29:45.080 --> 29:51.080
Eddie Cantor, Portland Hoffa, Judy Holliday, Gypsy Rose Lee, Vaughn Monroe, Patrice Poncelle,

29:51.080 --> 29:54.080
Meredith Wilson, and his Big Show Orchestra and Chorus.

29:54.080 --> 30:01.080
And every week, your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable, Delula Bankhead.

30:01.080 --> 30:17.080
Well, darling, here we are with the Big Show, and this is our twelfth week.

30:17.080 --> 30:21.080
And I'm just beginning to learn what a curious affair this radio business is.

30:21.080 --> 30:24.080
And you see, darling, in the theater, there's a, well, there's a personal touch.

30:24.080 --> 30:26.080
Well, they can get at you.

30:26.080 --> 30:30.080
In radio, I've found that I don't always know what the people think of me, or of the show.

30:30.080 --> 30:37.080
So, well, last week, I spoke to a friend of mine, and he volunteered to take a poll of listeners of Tommy.

30:37.080 --> 30:40.080
Well, I figured I might as well. I'm not doing anything anyway.

30:40.080 --> 30:49.080
Well, hello, Delula. I'm sorry I'm late.

30:49.080 --> 30:55.080
I had a pocketful of nickels, and I tried to get over here by subway, but they've raised it to a dime, you know.

30:55.080 --> 30:59.080
A dime to go down in that commuter's gopher hole.

30:59.080 --> 31:03.080
I tried to call you, I tried to call you.

31:03.080 --> 31:08.080
I tried to, I'm just laughing at some punctuation.

31:08.080 --> 31:12.080
I tried to call you from a payphone, and they've raised that to a dime, too.

31:12.080 --> 31:16.080
On the jukeboxes, I hear you calling me is now a dime, I find.

31:16.080 --> 31:23.080
You know, I think that the government decided it's time to put the buffalo out the pasture in back of the men.

31:23.080 --> 31:25.080
You mean nickels are going out of the carpet?

31:25.080 --> 31:29.080
Well, the nickel seems to be semi-obsolete, Delula.

31:29.080 --> 31:35.080
I went into a bakery the other day, and I found that they have changed the name of that bread to Pumperdine.

31:35.080 --> 31:49.080
It seems they take a pumpernickel and slice it in two thin pieces, and that sort of makes...

31:49.080 --> 31:51.080
I think, you know, I think that nickels...

31:51.080 --> 31:53.080
Oh, well, it sounds exactly like a mean dime, but I'd love to talk about this at length.

31:53.080 --> 31:57.080
But some time ago, I converted all my nickels to Confederate money.

31:57.080 --> 32:01.080
Well, now, what about this toll you were taking from me, darling?

32:01.080 --> 32:03.080
How did you know whom they are?

32:03.080 --> 32:07.080
Well, Delula, I had sort of a master plan for a radio poll.

32:07.080 --> 32:09.080
I called it the snooper.

32:09.080 --> 32:16.080
I would look snooping down the street, I would look down the street, and only go into the houses with no aerials on the roofs, you see.

32:16.080 --> 32:18.080
And that was quite tough, you said.

32:18.080 --> 32:25.080
It worked out well for a while, until I discovered that half of the houses with aerials didn't have television sets.

32:25.080 --> 32:31.080
These people had the aerials on their roofs so the neighbors would think they had television sets.

32:31.080 --> 32:33.080
But what were some of the reactions, Fred?

32:33.080 --> 32:38.080
Well, there was a young lady in Flushing, Long Island, who had a very interesting point of view.

32:38.080 --> 32:39.080
I knocked at the door...

32:39.080 --> 32:43.080
Yes?

32:43.080 --> 32:49.080
Excuse me, madam, I am conducting a survey to discover listeners' reaction to Delula Bankhead.

32:49.080 --> 32:51.080
See, look how funny he talks!

32:51.080 --> 32:57.080
Well, this... that wasn't my real voice.

32:57.080 --> 33:00.080
That was my stage voice.

33:00.080 --> 33:03.080
This is my real voice.

33:03.080 --> 33:06.080
You know, I would just like to ask you one question, miss, if I may.

33:06.080 --> 33:08.080
Oh, no, I'm not answering no questions.

33:08.080 --> 33:09.080
No?

33:09.080 --> 33:16.080
Years ago I answered a question. I got myself a slob who's been sleeping in the Murphy bed ever since.

33:16.080 --> 33:18.080
Now, look, please, Mrs. Murphy...

33:18.080 --> 33:20.080
He promised me the world on a silver planet.

33:20.080 --> 33:23.080
He promised me castles with cut glass chandeliers...

33:23.080 --> 33:24.080
Holy rascal.

33:24.080 --> 33:26.080
With marble stairs and gold faucets.

33:26.080 --> 33:28.080
So where do I wind up?

33:28.080 --> 33:33.080
Flushing!

33:33.080 --> 33:39.080
Now, look, miss, I hate to get that train of thought off of your one-track mind.

33:39.080 --> 33:41.080
But what do you think of Delula Bankhead?

33:41.080 --> 33:47.080
Well, I'll tell you, I have a very definite opinion about him.

33:47.080 --> 33:50.080
Well, that's very interesting, Fred, but what did he say about me?

33:50.080 --> 33:55.080
Well, this is radio, Delula. I don't dare mention those names on this program.

33:55.080 --> 33:57.080
What then, who else did you talk to?

33:57.080 --> 34:01.080
Well, I met a rather interesting specimen of womanhood in Kew Gardens.

34:01.080 --> 34:07.080
She was a Miss Lee, and she lived in a rather bare little house.

34:07.080 --> 34:12.080
I stepped gingerly over the gypsy tea roses in her garden and rang her chime.

34:12.080 --> 34:20.080
Bell ringing

34:20.080 --> 34:23.080
Oh, hello. I'm sorry you had to wait so long.

34:23.080 --> 34:27.080
I was just inside taking off my apron.

34:27.080 --> 34:33.080
Oh, excuse me, my name is Fred Allen and I'm conducting a little poll.

34:33.080 --> 34:38.080
Fred Allen? Are you the Fred Allen who used to be on the radio opposite Stop the Music?

34:38.080 --> 34:48.080
Well, that is rather a clever way of putting it, miss, and the answer is yes.

34:48.080 --> 34:50.080
There's something I want to ask you, Mr. Allen.

34:50.080 --> 34:56.080
I do a radio show called What Makes You Tick. It's a quiz show, too, and I'd like to increase my rating.

34:56.080 --> 35:04.080
Would you mind doing your radio show opposite mine?

35:04.080 --> 35:06.080
I have.

35:06.080 --> 35:10.080
I believe it. But I'm here to ask you about...

35:10.080 --> 35:12.080
I'm here to ask you about Tallulah Banks here.

35:12.080 --> 35:17.080
Oh, that's a better idea. Maybe she'd like to do her show opposite mine.

35:17.080 --> 35:21.080
You see, I thought that if we could just...

35:21.080 --> 35:26.080
Oh, I would just love to take that girl apart and see what makes her tick.

35:26.080 --> 35:29.080
Well, Fred, it looks like I didn't do too well in your survey.

35:29.080 --> 35:34.080
Well, Tallulah, I have been off radio for several years and I didn't make out too well either.

35:34.080 --> 35:39.080
But there was one charming little house-frow in Jackson Heights who certainly deserves mention here.

35:39.080 --> 35:44.080
She came to the door and answered my ring.

35:44.080 --> 35:47.080
May I introduce myself? My name is Fred Allen.

35:47.080 --> 35:49.080
Oh, Mr. Allen!

35:49.080 --> 35:51.080
Well...

35:55.080 --> 36:01.080
Hey, that's pretty tricky, Miss. You open the door and the neighbors applaud. It really does.

36:01.080 --> 36:06.080
All the houses on radio programs have built-in applause, I've noticed.

36:06.080 --> 36:12.080
Well, I'm conducting a little survey. Now, frankly, what do you think of Tallulah Banks?

36:12.080 --> 36:16.080
Well, I don't care what anybody says. I like her.

36:16.080 --> 36:23.080
That's quite a coincidence that you should ask me...

36:23.080 --> 36:24.080
Yes?

36:24.080 --> 36:30.080
Because I happen to be the president of the Jackson Heights Tallulah Bankhead Forever Fan Club.

36:30.080 --> 36:32.080
The Tallulah Bankhead Fan Club?

36:32.080 --> 36:33.080
Forever!

36:33.080 --> 36:37.080
Well, that's Tallulah.

36:37.080 --> 36:42.080
Tell me, what are the requirements of the members of the Tallulah Bankhead Forever Fan Club?

36:42.080 --> 36:46.080
Well, we all fly Confederate flags in our cellars.

36:46.080 --> 36:48.080
Confederate flags in the cellars, yeah?

36:48.080 --> 36:51.080
And our password is a rebel yell.

36:51.080 --> 36:58.080
Well, a shrill tribute to your idol, hey? Good girls. I know, I quote her as she knew about this.

36:58.080 --> 37:05.080
At the last meeting of the Jackson Heights Tallulah Bankhead Forever Fan Club in Manhattan, we decided...

37:05.080 --> 37:11.080
Now, wait a minute. Excuse me, Miss. The curiosity and a tight script.

37:11.080 --> 37:13.080
We'll know what that means.

37:13.080 --> 37:18.080
Help me to ask, the Jackson Heights Fan Club meets in Manhattan?

37:18.080 --> 37:21.080
Only when we're not meeting in Forest Hills.

37:21.080 --> 37:23.080
Oh, I see, I see.

37:23.080 --> 37:27.080
Will you excuse my asking, but you have piqued my curiosity.

37:27.080 --> 37:32.080
Curiosity killed a cat, but my curiosity has a peak. My curiosities are all different.

37:32.080 --> 37:36.080
Tell me, why doesn't the Jackson Heights Fan Club meet in Jackson Heights?

37:36.080 --> 37:46.080
Because all the girls come from Brooklyn, except one, and she comes all the way from Placid, and then I would say that...

37:46.080 --> 37:49.080
Well, Fred, darling, I don't mean to question your integrity.

37:49.080 --> 37:50.080
No.

37:50.080 --> 37:51.080
But this whole thing is utterly ridiculous.

37:51.080 --> 37:52.080
Really?

37:52.080 --> 37:57.080
I don't believe a word of it, and I refuse to be guided by it. I don't think any of those people are representative of my radio audience.

37:57.080 --> 37:58.080
Well, I can sample a few more.

37:58.080 --> 38:03.080
No, no, absolutely not. I won't have it. Abandon this entire project immediately. Stop the service!

38:03.080 --> 38:09.080
Please, please, Tallulah, watch your language. You mean my survey service to you is at an end?

38:09.080 --> 38:10.080
Yes.

38:10.080 --> 38:18.080
You want me to turn in my laugh meter and my iron foot with the chromium shin that I put between doors so people can't close them when I call?

38:18.080 --> 38:22.080
You want me to turn in my gear and return to my rocking chair in the unemployment office?

38:22.080 --> 38:24.080
That's right, Fred.

38:24.080 --> 38:30.080
Well, this is nothing new to me, Tallulah. This is the second time a radio survey has put me out of business.

38:30.080 --> 38:52.080
No matter what you now take for headache relief, we urge you to try Anisyn for the incredibly fast relief these tablets bring the next time you are suffering from a headache.

38:52.080 --> 39:07.080
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39:07.080 --> 39:19.080
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39:19.080 --> 39:28.080
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39:28.080 --> 39:36.080
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39:36.080 --> 39:53.080
Well, I don't know what I would do without Fred Allen and the members of the Jackson Heights Forever Kalula Bankhead Band Club.

39:53.080 --> 40:01.080
Or is it the Jackson Heights Kalula Forever Bankhead Band Club? Well, whatever it is, it leads, darling, to a very happy moment for me.

40:01.080 --> 40:12.080
With us today is a great young talent of the Metropolitan Opera Company who received rave, rave notices recently for her acting and singing performance in Deep Sledermouth.

40:12.080 --> 40:20.080
Anyone who cares to can join me in a little organization I'm forming called the Metropolitan Patrice Munsell Forever Fan Club.

40:20.080 --> 40:25.080
And here is Munsell to sing the laughing song from Deep Sledermouth.

40:25.080 --> 40:41.080
Look me over once, look me over twice, you will not remain in the dark.

40:41.080 --> 40:49.080
Look me over once, look me over twice, and laugh at your own remark.

40:49.080 --> 40:59.080
You'll quickly destroy, I think, my blood is as blue as your ink.

40:59.080 --> 41:09.080
You'll find I'm well appointed, aesthetically-shy, then.

41:09.080 --> 41:19.080
So look me over once, look me over twice, and laugh at your own remark.

41:19.080 --> 41:31.080
A lady's maid upon my soul, excuse me, when nurse can cry.

41:31.080 --> 41:45.080
What a bloomer, full of humor, Merry, merry, merry, merry.

41:45.080 --> 41:55.080
What a bloomer, full of humor, full of humor, full of humor, full of humor.

41:55.080 --> 42:08.080
So look me over once, oh, twice.

42:08.080 --> 42:18.080
Look me over once, look me over twice, examine my line of mind fine.

42:18.080 --> 42:27.080
Make a rendiment of my first embrace, appraising their red design.

42:27.080 --> 42:37.080
You'll travel all over the globe, to find such an ear and a love.

42:37.080 --> 42:51.080
And when you make a recap, over every recap, and see if they compare with what we know.

42:51.080 --> 43:08.080
We thought your new life would be a wide marquee, though I'm a moat, a mannered elf, you've made me be beside myself.

43:08.080 --> 43:21.080
What a bloomer, full of humor, merry, merry, merry.

43:21.080 --> 43:39.080
What a bloomer, full of humor, full of humor, full of humor.

43:39.080 --> 43:58.080
What a bloomer, full of humor, full of humor.

43:58.080 --> 44:13.080
Bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, Patrice Spencell. Come over here darling, I want to talk to you.

44:13.080 --> 44:17.080
I understand they're doing some exciting new things over the Metropolitan Opera.

44:17.080 --> 44:23.080
Well that's right, Tallulah. To get people more interested in opera, they're trying to make opera more like the Broadway musical theater.

44:23.080 --> 44:27.080
You mean they're selling orange juice there now too?

44:27.080 --> 44:29.080
Well they haven't gone that far.

44:29.080 --> 44:32.080
No but I've heard darling, that they're starting to use Broadway actors at the Met.

44:32.080 --> 44:36.080
Well of course that might open a whole new life for me.

44:36.080 --> 44:43.080
Darling, I'm talking about the Metropolitan Opera, not the Metropolitan Life.

44:43.080 --> 44:49.080
Just a minute, Patrice. You know of course that I sing.

44:49.080 --> 44:52.080
Oh yes, I have your record of I'll Be Seeing You.

44:52.080 --> 44:53.080
Oh yes?

44:53.080 --> 44:57.080
I'll be seeing you.

44:57.080 --> 44:59.080
Now to be honest with you, what do you think?

44:59.080 --> 45:02.080
Well, I'll be seeing you.

45:02.080 --> 45:05.080
Oh now Patrice, now don't you stop that too.

45:05.080 --> 45:08.080
If they want Broadway people to even act, I can certainly do that.

45:08.080 --> 45:10.080
And as far as my singing is concerned, well maybe you can help me darling.

45:10.080 --> 45:11.080
Now just listen to this.

45:11.080 --> 45:15.080
I'll be seeing you.

45:15.080 --> 45:25.080
Then all the old familiar places that the part of mine embraces all day through.

45:25.080 --> 45:28.080
Now tell me darling, what am I doing that's wrong?

45:28.080 --> 45:31.080
Singing.

45:31.080 --> 45:33.080
Oh isn't it sweet?

45:33.080 --> 45:38.080
Look, pencil tonsils.

45:38.080 --> 45:41.080
I wish you could have heard me when I sang at the Paramount Theater.

45:41.080 --> 45:43.080
You sang at the Paramount Theater?

45:43.080 --> 45:45.080
I most certainly did.

45:45.080 --> 45:56.080
And don't think it's easy keeping up with that bouncing ball on screen.

45:56.080 --> 46:00.080
Well I'll tell you what, Tallulah. I'd like to get an idea of your range.

46:00.080 --> 46:02.080
Would you mind running the scale for me?

46:02.080 --> 46:06.080
Oh I'd love to darling.

46:06.080 --> 46:08.080
That scale is quite low.

46:08.080 --> 46:11.080
I was all scaled for that low.

46:11.080 --> 46:13.080
Can't you try it now an octave higher?

46:13.080 --> 46:16.080
Not in this girdle darling.

46:16.080 --> 46:18.080
I know what you mean Tallulah.

46:18.080 --> 46:22.080
A really high note if it vibrates just right can actually split something.

46:22.080 --> 46:24.080
Oh I don't believe that because I can't say no how.

46:24.080 --> 46:27.080
What is your top note, Patrice?

46:27.080 --> 46:40.080
I'm sorry Tallulah, I broke your glasses.

46:40.080 --> 46:47.080
I don't care about my glasses darling, but you broke my diamond ring.

46:47.080 --> 46:49.080
But singing and no singing are Patrice.

46:49.080 --> 46:54.080
If they really want to modernize the opera, they're going to have to get the finest performance on Broadway.

46:54.080 --> 47:00.080
Performance. Now take for instance, La Traviata, which is based on Juma's great play, Camille, The Lady of the Comedians.

47:00.080 --> 47:05.080
Now you will agree darling that the scene in which Camille dies takes the artistry of a really superb dramatic accent.

47:05.080 --> 47:12.080
Yes and that death scene takes the singing of a really great voice to give the scene its fullest dramatic effect.

47:12.080 --> 47:17.080
Maybe, but I've always felt that when a person is dying he doesn't feel like singing.

47:17.080 --> 47:40.080
Basically this is a spot for great dramatic actors who can adjust it to the immortal line like these.

47:40.080 --> 47:47.080
Amon, Amon, you have come back.

47:47.080 --> 48:00.080
Isn't it, Amon? Amon, I have lived, I love, and I will die by love.

48:00.080 --> 48:10.080
Isn't it to me well? And not by death and sick, your father would not have written to return.

48:10.080 --> 48:16.080
When I'm dead, Amon, all you shall retain of me will be pure.

48:16.080 --> 48:23.080
If I live, there would always be change by my love.

48:23.080 --> 48:27.080
Believe me, but God does.

48:27.080 --> 48:30.080
He does well.

48:30.080 --> 48:36.080
Open the drawer, Amon, and take out that locket.

48:36.080 --> 48:40.080
It contains my portrait.

48:40.080 --> 48:46.080
Days and the days when I was pretty, pretty.

48:46.080 --> 48:49.080
I had it made for you.

48:49.080 --> 48:52.080
Keep it. Keep it.

48:52.080 --> 48:56.080
It will help your memory here also.

48:56.080 --> 49:01.080
Do you hear, my Amon?

49:01.080 --> 49:07.080
I don't die, but I'm happy to.

49:07.080 --> 49:10.080
My happiness can heal.

49:10.080 --> 49:12.080
I guess.

49:12.080 --> 49:17.080
Oh, it's pain. It's pain.

49:17.080 --> 49:20.080
I do not know for now.

49:20.080 --> 49:25.080
Amon, I can live.

49:25.080 --> 49:28.080
I love you.

49:28.080 --> 49:32.080
I love you.

49:32.080 --> 49:37.080
Oh.

49:37.080 --> 49:53.080
Applause.

49:53.080 --> 49:56.080
Just a minute, girls. I've been listening to this contest.

49:56.080 --> 49:58.080
Oh, but please, do you know Judy Holliday?

49:58.080 --> 50:01.080
Of course. Hello, Miss Dawn.

50:01.080 --> 50:04.080
The name is Holliday. Judy Holliday.

50:04.080 --> 50:12.080
How would you like it if everybody walked up to you and said, hello, Miss Flatamouse.

50:12.080 --> 50:15.080
Oh, I'm sorry, Judy. I know just what you mean.

50:15.080 --> 50:19.080
I certainly don't want to be typed as a singer who can only sing into Flatamouse

50:19.080 --> 50:22.080
any more than you want to be typed as a girl who can only play Billy Dawn.

50:22.080 --> 50:24.080
Well, that's exactly what I meant.

50:24.080 --> 50:28.080
So from now on, please try to think of me as Billy Holliday.

50:28.080 --> 50:32.080
I mean, Judy. Dawn.

50:32.080 --> 50:37.080
But Judy, darling, what were you going to say before you interrupted yourself?

50:37.080 --> 50:41.080
I heard you two talking about modernizing the opera.

50:41.080 --> 50:42.080
Oh, yes?

50:42.080 --> 50:50.080
The treat sang, and you did that coughing routine.

50:50.080 --> 50:54.080
Oh, that won't bring people to the opera, you know. You need comedy.

50:54.080 --> 50:57.080
Oh, well, darling, how do you get laughs in a dramatic scene like that?

50:57.080 --> 51:00.080
It's very easy. I'll show you.

51:00.080 --> 51:16.080
As the scene opens, we pan over to our hospital bed.

51:16.080 --> 51:29.080
Listen, Armand. I have lived by love, and now I am dying of it, thanks to you.

51:29.080 --> 51:37.080
You hear that cough, Armand? Armand, are you listening?

51:37.080 --> 51:44.080
Armand, I'm coughing to you.

51:44.080 --> 51:48.080
Armand! That's better.

51:48.080 --> 52:01.080
Now go over there and open, open that middle drawer.

52:01.080 --> 52:04.080
You're what's heavy so long.

52:04.080 --> 52:06.080
Big strong man can't even open a drawer.

52:06.080 --> 52:18.080
First Armand opened the top drawer, now open the bottom drawer, now the middle one will open.

52:18.080 --> 52:21.080
Big deal.

52:21.080 --> 52:28.080
Now take out a locket, pocket.

52:28.080 --> 52:38.080
Keep it, keep it in my memory. No, no, no, I know I won't be getting no better.

52:38.080 --> 52:44.080
I'm already beginning to sound like a lullaby.

52:44.080 --> 53:05.080
How much worse can a party get? I'll be better off dead.

53:05.080 --> 53:12.080
Here's a word from RCA Victor. Inch for inch, your best buy in television is RCA Victor 19 inch.

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53:21.080 --> 53:25.080
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53:29.080 --> 53:37.080
So select the model you really want most, and chances are that model will be the kingly RCA Victor 19 inch console.

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53:41.080 --> 53:48.080
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Yes, inch for inch, your best buy in television is indeed RCA Victor 19 inch.

53:58.080 --> 54:06.080
And with it go wishes to you and your family for all the warmth and good cheer of million proof television by RCA Victor.

54:06.080 --> 54:21.080
Here ladies and gentlemen is a young man you've all been waiting to hear, at least I have.

54:21.080 --> 54:26.080
It's Vaughan Monroe and I'm just dying to hear what they say I sound like.

54:26.080 --> 54:31.080
Vaughan Monroe singing, the night is young and you're so beautiful.

54:31.080 --> 54:46.080
Applause

54:46.080 --> 54:59.080
The night is young and you're so beautiful, here among the shadows, beautiful lady.

54:59.080 --> 55:17.080
Open your heart, the sea is sad, the breeze is sing of it, can't you get into the swing of it lady.

55:17.080 --> 55:41.080
When do we start, when the lady is kissable and the evening is true, any dream is permissible in the height of a fool.

55:41.080 --> 55:59.080
The moon is high and you're so glamorous and if I seem over amorous lady, what can I do.

55:59.080 --> 56:08.080
The night is young and I'm in love with you.

56:08.080 --> 56:20.080
The night is young and you're so beautiful, here among the shadows, beautiful lady.

56:20.080 --> 56:38.080
Open your heart, the sea is sad, the breeze is sing of it, can't you get into the swing of it lady.

56:38.080 --> 57:01.080
When do we start, when the lady is kissable and the evening is true, any dream is permissible in the height of a fool.

57:01.080 --> 57:19.080
The moon is high and you're so glamorous and if I seem over amorous lady, what can I do.

57:19.080 --> 57:38.080
The night is young and I'm in love with you.

57:38.080 --> 57:53.080
That was divine Vaughan Monroe, darling I've been a fan of yours for years, my favorite dance band has always been Vaughan Monroe and his Royal Canadian.

57:53.080 --> 57:58.080
You're thinking of another guy, Lombardo for instance.

57:58.080 --> 58:03.080
Oh excuse me darling, I'm so awfully sorry, I should have known of course Vaughan Monroe and his Pennsylvania.

58:03.080 --> 58:06.080
This is getting a little wearing, I doubt if you've ever heard my band.

58:06.080 --> 58:11.080
Of course darling, I was just joking, everybody knows Swing and Sway with Vaughan Monroe.

58:11.080 --> 58:14.080
That's Sammy Case.

58:14.080 --> 58:15.080
Connecticut Yanks.

58:15.080 --> 58:17.080
That was Rudy Valli.

58:17.080 --> 58:19.080
A&P Gypsies.

58:19.080 --> 58:21.080
That was Harry Horlick.

58:21.080 --> 58:24.080
Would you mind darling repeating the question?

58:24.080 --> 58:28.080
There was no question, you started the whole thing, I didn't ask you anything.

58:28.080 --> 58:30.080
I know Vaughan Monroe and his Californians.

58:30.080 --> 58:32.080
That was a blammer.

58:32.080 --> 58:34.080
Alright Vaughan, I give up darling, what is it?

58:34.080 --> 58:37.080
Vaughan Monroe and his glamorous, unpredictable orchestra.

58:37.080 --> 58:40.080
Ah, any sweet.

58:40.080 --> 58:45.080
Well if you're not going to tell me I'll just keep on guessing, Vaughan Monroe and his rippling rhythm.

58:45.080 --> 58:47.080
That's Sheb Field.

58:47.080 --> 58:49.080
Well and my heart.

58:49.080 --> 58:51.080
Well that's a matter of opinion.

58:51.080 --> 58:53.080
Really?

58:53.080 --> 58:58.080
I know I can think of it, well I better make it snappy because Eddie Candace, do you hear it any moment?

58:58.080 --> 58:59.080
Oh Tallulah.

58:59.080 --> 59:02.080
Now don't bother me Ed Hurley, ah hee ho.

59:02.080 --> 59:05.080
I'm trying to think.

59:05.080 --> 59:10.080
Well while you're thinking and trying to pronounce the holly hee, and while we're waiting for Eddie Candace,

59:10.080 --> 59:14.080
I'd like to take just a moment to say that this portion of the program was brought to you by the makers of

59:14.080 --> 59:20.080
Anison for fast relief from pain of headache, eritis, and neuralgia, and by RCA Victor,

59:20.080 --> 59:24.080
world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television.

59:24.080 --> 59:29.080
Oh I remember it now Vaughan, Swedish music, this side of heaven.

59:29.080 --> 59:32.080
That's Guylain Barlow again.

59:32.080 --> 59:35.080
No darling, that's Tallulah Bankhead ringing her chime.

59:35.080 --> 59:41.080
And saying we'll be back in a moment, and this is NBC, the national broadcasting company.

59:41.080 --> 59:47.080
Music

59:47.080 --> 59:52.080
This is the big show, and here is your mistress of ceremonies, Tallulah Bankhead.

59:52.080 --> 59:54.080
Oh I wish Vaughan Monroe would give me one more chance.

59:54.080 --> 59:58.080
Oh I think I know, of course Vaughan Monroe and his all-girl orchestra.

59:58.080 --> 01:00:02.080
No, no I'm the one with the all-girl orchestra.

01:00:02.080 --> 01:00:04.080
Yes you can't go.

01:00:04.080 --> 01:00:08.080
Applause

01:00:08.080 --> 01:00:10.080
Hello, hello Tallulah.

01:00:10.080 --> 01:00:13.080
Oh hello Eddie darling, you look so wonderful, so young, and peppy, how do you do it?

01:00:13.080 --> 01:00:17.080
How do I do it? Listen Tallulah, I was looking through Who's Who the other day,

01:00:17.080 --> 01:00:21.080
and I noticed that both you and I were born on the same day, January 31st.

01:00:21.080 --> 01:00:23.080
Oh, your birthday is January 31st too?

01:00:23.080 --> 01:00:27.080
That's right, we're both January 31st.

01:00:27.080 --> 01:00:32.080
Well who's going to ask who first?

01:00:32.080 --> 01:00:37.080
Don't you dare mention that year on the program.

01:00:37.080 --> 01:00:40.080
Personally I'm not sensitive about my age.

01:00:40.080 --> 01:00:48.080
I remember the day I was born in 1917.

01:00:48.080 --> 01:00:53.080
My daughter looked at my wife and said, you know mommy he looks just like me.

01:00:53.080 --> 01:00:58.080
Oh it's nice to be standing here with Tallulah Bankhead, one of the first ladies of the theater.

01:00:58.080 --> 01:01:01.080
I've been reading about her in Who's Who, and you know something?

01:01:01.080 --> 01:01:05.080
She was the first lady in the theater.

01:01:05.080 --> 01:01:08.080
Gosh, she's not young you know the kid.

01:01:08.080 --> 01:01:10.080
Gosh I wish I'd been around in those days.

01:01:10.080 --> 01:01:17.080
That was about the time another old-timer got his start, Fred Allen.

01:01:17.080 --> 01:01:22.080
And it must have been fun to be in show business when Tallulah and Fred first sprang into the limelight.

01:01:22.080 --> 01:01:30.080
In real days in the theater, imagine Sarah Bernhardt, John Barrymore, Lionel, Lionel and Ethel.

01:01:30.080 --> 01:01:36.080
What have we got today? Dagmar, Howdy Doody, and Uncle Milti.

01:01:36.080 --> 01:01:43.080
Fred and Tallulah were talking this morning about the days of rectors and Delmonicos when a good dinner cost you 90 cents.

01:01:43.080 --> 01:01:48.080
Yesterday Ida told me that liver is now a dollar thirty-five cents a pound.

01:01:48.080 --> 01:01:54.080
In the days of Fred and Tallulah, there wasn't anybody strong enough to lift a dollar thirty-five cents worth of liver.

01:01:54.080 --> 01:02:01.080
Thank you, tax payers.

01:02:01.080 --> 01:02:08.080
And the songs of that period, Gus Edwards wrote one of them and Fred taught it to me this morning, it goes like this.

01:02:08.080 --> 01:02:26.080
By the light of the silvery moon, I want to spoon to my honey I'll soon love soon.

01:02:26.080 --> 01:02:31.080
Honeymoon. The lyrics meant something in those days.

01:02:31.080 --> 01:02:39.080
By the light of the silvery moon, what have we got today? Slam, bam, alakazam, zing zing, zoom zoom, whoop-dee-doo.

01:02:39.080 --> 01:02:49.080
I heard a cowboy this morning on the radio sang a song called, Get off that hot stove, grandpa, you're too old to ride the rain.

01:02:49.080 --> 01:02:53.080
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the songs have changed.

01:02:53.080 --> 01:03:03.080
Used to be a girl sang no, no, a thousand times no. Today the same girl says diamonds are a girl's best friend.

01:03:03.080 --> 01:03:10.080
And in the old days, marriages meant something. When you said, I do, it was till death do you part.

01:03:10.080 --> 01:03:19.080
The trouble with marriages today is while they're saying, I do, they're looking around the church to see if they can do better.

01:03:19.080 --> 01:03:26.080
The old time was stuck to one wife. Look at Fred in Portland. Been married 23 years.

01:03:26.080 --> 01:03:33.080
Burns and Allen. Burns and Allen have been married 20 years or more.

01:03:33.080 --> 01:03:42.080
On June the 9th, Ida and I will celebrate our 37th year of wedded bliss.

01:03:42.080 --> 01:03:48.080
A very happy marriage except for one thing, one little thing.

01:03:48.080 --> 01:03:53.080
And it's not too late, you know.

01:03:53.080 --> 01:03:59.080
If Ida's listening, I want to know Ida dear, when?

01:03:59.080 --> 01:04:05.080
When are you going to learn to make a nice cup of coffee?

01:04:05.080 --> 01:04:11.080
Yes, friends, things have changed since Tallulah and Fred got their start.

01:04:11.080 --> 01:04:19.080
Life was less complicated. In their day, if you had a problem, if you had a problem, you talked it over with your family on the porch.

01:04:19.080 --> 01:04:25.080
Now you discuss it with a psychiatrist on the couch for 20 bucks a throw.

01:04:25.080 --> 01:04:28.080
And what clothes are? The clothes.

01:04:28.080 --> 01:04:33.080
The clothes they wore back in those early days when Tallulah and Fred first started out.

01:04:33.080 --> 01:04:37.080
The crinoline days, the hoop skates and the bustles.

01:04:37.080 --> 01:04:42.080
They tell me that at one time women used to wear seven, eight, ten petticoats.

01:04:42.080 --> 01:04:45.080
A fella got married to a girl, went on his honeymoon.

01:04:45.080 --> 01:04:51.080
When his wife started peeling the petticoats, he didn't know whether he married a woman or an artichoke.

01:04:51.080 --> 01:05:03.080
I wish I had lived in that time when men wore handlebar mustaches and the women looked like women, you know, hourglass figures with sand on both ends.

01:05:03.080 --> 01:05:10.080
What have they got today? Plunging necklines, no sand at all, just beach.

01:05:10.080 --> 01:05:16.080
The old days a man didn't dare to hope for more than a glimpse of a lady's high button shoes as she walked by.

01:05:16.080 --> 01:05:24.080
But now, now he runs his eye over her like a Swede looking at a table full of smorgasbord.

01:05:24.080 --> 01:05:27.080
And going to the beach, that was an occasion in those far off days.

01:05:27.080 --> 01:05:33.080
A girl had to put on bathing shoes, black stockings, bloomers, shirtwaist, jersey, a hat and carry a parasol.

01:05:33.080 --> 01:05:46.080
This morning in the Sunday paper I saw a nab for the very latest French bathing suit from the Riviera, a bottle of suntan oil and a zipper.

01:05:46.080 --> 01:05:53.080
Oh, for the days when Emerson, when Emerson meant Ralph Waldo and not Faye.

01:05:53.080 --> 01:05:57.080
But Tallulah, Tallulah and Fred didn't have all the fun.

01:05:57.080 --> 01:06:00.080
There was another fellow in those days, a chap that Dixell put into his follies.

01:06:00.080 --> 01:06:09.080
You may remember him. Came out in blackface with white-rimmed glasses and pranced up and down the stage singing.

01:06:09.080 --> 01:06:16.080
How you gonna keep them down on the farm after they've been carried?

01:06:16.080 --> 01:06:23.080
How you gonna keep them away from Broadway, jazzing around, hating the town?

01:06:23.080 --> 01:06:27.080
How you gonna keep them away from Tom?

01:06:27.080 --> 01:06:30.080
That's a mystery.

01:06:30.080 --> 01:06:34.080
Imagine Ruben when he meets his car.

01:06:34.080 --> 01:06:37.080
He'll kiss his cheek and holla, ooh la la.

01:06:37.080 --> 01:06:46.080
How you gonna keep them down on the farm after they've been carried?

01:06:46.080 --> 01:06:54.080
Applause

01:06:54.080 --> 01:06:57.080
That is a deep bow to a master showman.

01:06:57.080 --> 01:06:59.080
Oh, it was a pleasure being here, Tallulah.

01:06:59.080 --> 01:07:03.080
By the way, you know Ida, Ida's been watching the show off stage back there.

01:07:03.080 --> 01:07:05.080
And you can do me a big favor, Tallulah.

01:07:05.080 --> 01:07:07.080
Who told you that?

01:07:07.080 --> 01:07:10.080
No, I mean, would you do me a big favor?

01:07:10.080 --> 01:07:13.080
You see, a few months ago, Ida appeared on my television show.

01:07:13.080 --> 01:07:16.080
I gave her one line to read and she got it so mixed up,

01:07:16.080 --> 01:07:20.080
they're still trying to untangle the cable from here to Kansas City.

01:07:20.080 --> 01:07:26.080
Now, if I brought her out, would you kind of give her a few pointers on how to speak correctly?

01:07:26.080 --> 01:07:28.080
I know to you it's me a child's play.

01:07:28.080 --> 01:07:31.080
I should be giving Ida pointers in child's play.

01:07:31.080 --> 01:07:33.080
No, no, no, no.

01:07:33.080 --> 01:07:35.080
Well, it'll be a big favor, Tallulah.

01:07:35.080 --> 01:07:37.080
I wanted to come back on the show with me,

01:07:37.080 --> 01:07:40.080
but since she made that mistake, she's afraid, you see.

01:07:40.080 --> 01:07:44.080
If you could give her a word of advice or encouragement, she looks up to you so.

01:07:44.080 --> 01:07:47.080
Oh, that's very sweet, darling. Okay, Ida, I'll try to, huh?

01:07:47.080 --> 01:07:49.080
Ida, Ida, come here, will you? Ida?

01:07:49.080 --> 01:07:52.080
Ida, that Vaughan Monroe you're waving at, dear.

01:07:52.080 --> 01:07:55.080
Oh, excuse me, Ida, here she is, here she is.

01:07:55.080 --> 01:08:02.080
Applause

01:08:02.080 --> 01:08:05.080
Ida, this is Tallulah Bankhead.

01:08:05.080 --> 01:08:06.080
Hello.

01:08:06.080 --> 01:08:07.080
Hello, darling.

01:08:07.080 --> 01:08:11.080
Ida, Eddie tells me that when you were on the show with him a little while back,

01:08:11.080 --> 01:08:15.080
that your annunciation was not as flawless as it might have been,

01:08:15.080 --> 01:08:19.080
and you developed a sort of a new gothic inhibition about going back,

01:08:19.080 --> 01:08:22.080
because of some faulty diction in your rendition of a line.

01:08:22.080 --> 01:08:24.080
Huh?

01:08:24.080 --> 01:08:31.080
You laughed up a joke on his program.

01:08:31.080 --> 01:08:33.080
Just for one bad reading, you're not going back?

01:08:33.080 --> 01:08:35.080
What sort of a trooper are you, Ida?

01:08:35.080 --> 01:08:38.080
I tell you that if your husband wants you to go on that program with him,

01:08:38.080 --> 01:08:40.080
your place is by his side.

01:08:40.080 --> 01:08:45.080
You must never let one little line mix you up or keep you away from him.

01:08:45.080 --> 01:08:47.080
There you see, Ida, and Tallulah knows.

01:08:47.080 --> 01:08:48.080
She gave you some good advice.

01:08:48.080 --> 01:08:51.080
Now say thank you very much and tell her you appreciate it.

01:08:51.080 --> 01:08:54.080
Thank you very much. I appreciate it.

01:08:54.080 --> 01:08:58.080
Ida, you did it, you see, you're talking fine.

01:08:58.080 --> 01:09:01.080
Really, you are. Tallulah cured you. Thanks.

01:09:01.080 --> 01:09:03.080
Well, I'm very glad you've been of service, Eddie,

01:09:03.080 --> 01:09:06.080
and nice to have met you, Ida, darling. Good night, my sweet.

01:09:06.080 --> 01:09:09.080
Good night. It's a pleasure to thank you, Miss Meathead.

01:09:09.080 --> 01:09:10.080
Oh, fine.

01:09:10.080 --> 01:09:23.080
Applause

01:09:23.080 --> 01:09:24.080
Miss Stikeman.

01:09:24.080 --> 01:09:26.080
Yes, Portland? What is it, darling?

01:09:26.080 --> 01:09:30.080
The members of your Jackson Heights Tallulah Bikehead Forever Fan Club

01:09:30.080 --> 01:09:35.080
heard Patrice Munzell say you couldn't sing in the opera,

01:09:35.080 --> 01:09:39.080
so we have written an opera for you to prove you can.

01:09:39.080 --> 01:09:40.080
Would you like to do it now?

01:09:40.080 --> 01:09:42.080
Well, darling, we haven't much time. How long will it take?

01:09:42.080 --> 01:09:47.080
Oh, it's opera length, and we thought since you have so many stars on the show,

01:09:47.080 --> 01:09:49.080
they could all join in putting it on.

01:09:49.080 --> 01:09:55.080
Mr. Monroe, Miss Munzell, Mr. Carter, Miss Holliday, Miss Lee, and Mr. Allen.

01:09:55.080 --> 01:09:57.080
Well, what's your story about Portland?

01:09:57.080 --> 01:10:04.080
Well, as the opera star, we see two hundred cowboys chasing each other all over the rain.

01:10:04.080 --> 01:10:23.080
Music

01:10:23.080 --> 01:10:26.080
Now gather round, folks, we've a story for you,

01:10:26.080 --> 01:10:29.080
a drama of the West, bound in old buckaroo.

01:10:29.080 --> 01:10:38.080
Come a tie-yah yippee yippee yay yippee yay, come a tie-yah yippee yippee yay.

01:10:38.080 --> 01:10:44.080
This old buckaroo's got a daughter and a wife, he's lived in poverty all his life.

01:10:44.080 --> 01:10:53.080
Come a tie-yah yippee yippee yay yippee yay, come a tie-yah yippee yippee yay.

01:10:53.080 --> 01:10:59.080
Now that you know the buckaroo's been marked, come on, it's over, let the sale begin.

01:10:59.080 --> 01:11:05.080
Come a tie-yah yippee yippee yay yippee yay, come a tie-yah yippee yippee yay.

01:11:05.080 --> 01:11:07.080
Yee-hee!

01:11:09.080 --> 01:11:10.080
Ma?

01:11:10.080 --> 01:11:12.080
Yeah, little Judy?

01:11:12.080 --> 01:11:14.080
I'm hungry, Ma.

01:11:14.080 --> 01:11:17.080
You'll have little little Judy as soon as your Pa'll get back.

01:11:17.080 --> 01:11:19.080
Where is Pa, Ma?

01:11:19.080 --> 01:11:21.080
Well, he drove the cattle up to the city to sell them.

01:11:21.080 --> 01:11:24.080
Why didn't we eat the cattle, Ma?

01:11:24.080 --> 01:11:27.080
Well, they were too small to eat, little Judy.

01:11:27.080 --> 01:11:31.080
Your Pa's selling them around pet shops for pecan-eaters.

01:11:31.080 --> 01:11:35.080
Law, we never had bad times like that back east in Alabama.

01:11:35.080 --> 01:11:38.080
Why did you move out here on the prairie, Ma?

01:11:38.080 --> 01:11:41.080
Well, I'll tell you, little Judy.

01:11:41.080 --> 01:11:46.080
When I was a girl of sweet sixteen, I was a village bear.

01:11:46.080 --> 01:11:51.080
And the Chamber of Commerce that crowned me queen made me Miss New Rochelle.

01:11:51.080 --> 01:11:57.080
Millionaires took me out every night to a show called A Cafe.

01:11:57.080 --> 01:12:08.080
But I met your Pappy at a rodeo, and that is why today I'm an old coggers.

01:12:08.080 --> 01:12:18.080
And my name is Pearl, I sack our guns, and a robot's world.

01:12:18.080 --> 01:12:23.080
Once my beauty drove the men insane, I'm just an old hag living on to me.

01:12:23.080 --> 01:12:27.080
And I'm starting to look like Marjorie May.

01:12:27.080 --> 01:12:41.080
Give me eye, oh, pay eye, give me eye, oh, pay eye.

01:12:41.080 --> 01:12:44.080
Well, Pa, you're back. You brought some vinyls?

01:12:44.080 --> 01:12:46.080
Oh, I skipped a page. What's happening?

01:12:46.080 --> 01:12:48.080
Well, that's my story. Come on, here, baby.

01:12:48.080 --> 01:12:50.080
Well, that's my story, little Judy.

01:12:50.080 --> 01:12:52.080
Ma, I'm getting hungrier.

01:12:52.080 --> 01:12:56.080
Well, fine. Hold on, little Judy. I think I hear your Pa coming.

01:12:56.080 --> 01:12:59.080
Whoa, whoa, baby, whoa.

01:12:59.080 --> 01:13:02.080
Why, I saw you back. You brought some vinyls?

01:13:02.080 --> 01:13:11.080
Uh, I heard you way up in the...

01:13:11.080 --> 01:13:16.080
I made the same mistake at rehearsals, too. I did no better.

01:13:16.080 --> 01:13:19.080
I heard you way up the road, ma.

01:13:19.080 --> 01:13:22.080
No, I didn't bring no vinyls, ma.

01:13:22.080 --> 01:13:27.080
I was in the pet shop dickering, and the cats stampeded my hush.

01:13:27.080 --> 01:13:29.080
They all got away on me, ma.

01:13:29.080 --> 01:13:32.080
Why, your family's starving. You come home empty-handed, Pa.

01:13:32.080 --> 01:13:33.080
You and me is true.

01:13:33.080 --> 01:13:36.080
Ma, you ain't saying we're through.

01:13:36.080 --> 01:13:39.080
Ma, remember the first time we met?

01:13:39.080 --> 01:13:41.080
Yeah!

01:13:41.080 --> 01:13:43.080
Now, hush, little Judy, hush, now, hush.

01:13:43.080 --> 01:13:44.080
Yeah.

01:13:44.080 --> 01:13:49.080
If you two hadn't met, I wouldn't be hungry today.

01:13:49.080 --> 01:13:52.080
Your ma and Pa has raised you, little Judy.

01:13:52.080 --> 01:13:57.080
All I ever had to play with has been horses and cows.

01:13:57.080 --> 01:13:58.080
So?

01:13:58.080 --> 01:14:03.080
Till I was 10 years old, I was walking on old fox.

01:14:03.080 --> 01:14:06.080
Well, you're up on your hind legs now, ain't you?

01:14:06.080 --> 01:14:11.080
Yeah, well, maybe she's just sick of wearing harness for underwear, ma.

01:14:11.080 --> 01:14:13.080
Now, looky here, little Judy.

01:14:13.080 --> 01:14:19.080
Maybe your Pa ain't done a lot of things, but I made a home for you, didn't I?

01:14:19.080 --> 01:14:21.080
A home?

01:14:21.080 --> 01:14:32.080
You call this a home, here where rattlesnakes roam, and rain through the roof always falls.

01:14:32.080 --> 01:14:42.080
No cellar, no doors, no windows, no floors, and buzzard scratch holes in the walls.

01:14:42.080 --> 01:14:56.080
You call this a home on the rain, for beds we are sleeping on hay, no gas and no light.

01:14:56.080 --> 01:15:14.080
You can tell day from night, and the bathroom is four miles apart.

01:15:14.080 --> 01:15:16.080
I see you're home, Pa.

01:15:16.080 --> 01:15:17.080
I've been rinsing you again.

01:15:17.080 --> 01:15:24.080
Well, we ain't never paid no rent since we moved into this sty, and I ain't a-aimin' to start no new habits.

01:15:24.080 --> 01:15:28.080
Hey, somebody's knocking high on the door.

01:15:28.080 --> 01:15:30.080
Must be some bound horseback, folks.

01:15:30.080 --> 01:15:33.080
Well, this mountain come in.

01:15:33.080 --> 01:15:37.080
Howdy, folks. You remember me?

01:15:37.080 --> 01:15:39.080
Why, who gone get you?

01:15:39.080 --> 01:15:41.080
Our landlady.

01:15:41.080 --> 01:15:43.080
Our landlady.

01:15:43.080 --> 01:15:47.080
What a memory. You ain't seen me since I rented you this cabin.

01:15:47.080 --> 01:15:48.080
That's seven years ago.

01:15:48.080 --> 01:15:52.080
You owe me seven years' rent. One thousand dollars.

01:15:52.080 --> 01:15:57.080
Oh, two gun gypsy, and I want no money.

01:15:57.080 --> 01:16:00.080
Well, what's money? What is it?

01:16:00.080 --> 01:16:03.080
I'm giving you the sundown to find out.

01:16:03.080 --> 01:16:08.080
Well, I'll tell you, we'll get some money somehow, and we'll count it out for you.

01:16:08.080 --> 01:16:19.080
Oh, you better be counting money when I count. Oh, you better be counting money when I count.

01:16:19.080 --> 01:16:23.080
Or I'll pull my trusty trigger. You'll have mortis, you'll have rigor.

01:16:23.080 --> 01:16:28.080
So you better be counting money when I count.

01:16:28.080 --> 01:16:37.080
Well, gypsy, two gun, we'll pay you the thousand on one condition.

01:16:37.080 --> 01:16:44.080
No, sir, no condition. I want my G and no strings.

01:16:44.080 --> 01:16:47.080
Oh, we gotta get word our son Vaughn is calling.

01:16:47.080 --> 01:16:52.080
Well, how can we get word to little old Vaughn? None of us can write more.

01:16:52.080 --> 01:17:00.080
Well, now Vaughn is playing basketball in college. He's making plenty of money, Pa.

01:17:00.080 --> 01:17:03.080
Oh, look Pa, that big auto just stopped at the door.

01:17:03.080 --> 01:17:11.080
Say, some little dude is getting out of that auto. He's coming in here.

01:17:11.080 --> 01:17:13.080
Well, welcome stranger.

01:17:13.080 --> 01:17:17.080
Folks, I'm president of the RCA Victor Company.

01:17:17.080 --> 01:17:20.080
What's RCA? Anything like DDT?

01:17:20.080 --> 01:17:24.080
All the company makes phonograph records, and I'm looking for folk songs.

01:17:24.080 --> 01:17:30.080
People today are crazy about old songs. Today every family that owns a Victrola is saying,

01:17:30.080 --> 01:17:47.080
Oh, get out those old phonograph records, the ones they used to play so long ago.

01:17:47.080 --> 01:17:55.080
Oh, they may sound scratchy, but they're really work-ish.

01:17:55.080 --> 01:18:08.080
They just said, I love you so. We used to play them over and over, just to set the wedding day.

01:18:08.080 --> 01:18:14.080
To get some portables, I bring my portables to melt your heart away.

01:18:14.080 --> 01:18:35.080
With all those old records, those old phonograph records, the ones we used to play so long ago.

01:18:35.080 --> 01:18:40.080
Now, that's what people want, the old songs. If you folks know any old western songs, you can make a fortune.

01:18:40.080 --> 01:18:44.080
Well, you sure can use a fortune, please.

01:18:44.080 --> 01:18:46.080
Yeah, but now only our boy Vaughn was.

01:18:46.080 --> 01:18:52.080
Hey, Ma, somebody's riding up the trail. Look, it's a man and a she.

01:18:52.080 --> 01:18:55.080
Well, how do you do, folks?

01:18:55.080 --> 01:18:57.080
Mother? Peter?

01:18:57.080 --> 01:18:58.080
Vaughn, my son.

01:18:58.080 --> 01:19:01.080
Well, howdy, Vaughn. Who's the she?

01:19:01.080 --> 01:19:03.080
This is my wife, Patrice.

01:19:03.080 --> 01:19:04.080
Well, son.

01:19:04.080 --> 01:19:05.080
Hello, folks.

01:19:05.080 --> 01:19:07.080
Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am.

01:19:07.080 --> 01:19:12.080
Vaughn, your debt comes just in time. That sum down your ma and me is getting evicted.

01:19:12.080 --> 01:19:15.080
Is this little man here with a pop light putting you out?

01:19:15.080 --> 01:19:22.080
No, no, no, no. I'm just here looking for songs. If your folks have any folk songs, I'll be glad to buy them folk songs from your folks.

01:19:22.080 --> 01:19:24.080
Well, if he ain't had a song, we could pay the rent, son.

01:19:24.080 --> 01:19:29.080
Well, Vaughn has a song. He picked it up at college. Let's sing it for him, Vaughn.

01:19:29.080 --> 01:19:30.080
Okay.

01:19:30.080 --> 01:19:51.080
I was waltzing with my darling to the Tennessee walls when an old friend I happened to see

01:19:51.080 --> 01:20:05.080
Introduced him to my loved one, and while they were waltzing, my friend stole my sweetheart from me

01:20:05.080 --> 01:20:19.080
I remember the night and the Tennessee walls Now I know just how much I have lost

01:20:19.080 --> 01:20:34.080
Yes, I lost my little darlin' the night they were playing the beautiful Tennessee walls

01:20:34.080 --> 01:20:49.080
I was waltzing with my darling to the Tennessee walls when an old friend I happened to see

01:20:49.080 --> 01:21:04.080
Introduced him to my loved one, and while they were waltzing, my friend stole my sweetheart from me

01:21:04.080 --> 01:21:19.080
I remember the night and the Tennessee walls Now I know just how much I have lost

01:21:19.080 --> 01:21:35.080
Yes, I lost my little darlin' the night they were playing the beautiful Tennessee walls

01:21:35.080 --> 01:21:50.080
The beautiful Tennessee walls

01:21:50.080 --> 01:22:02.080
Great, great. That was great. This song will be a sensation on RCA Records, and here's your first royalty payment, $1,000.

01:22:02.080 --> 01:22:05.080
Ah Vaughan, I know you saved your mournful.

01:22:05.080 --> 01:22:11.080
Keepers, so this is money, eh? Where you can bend it? And I never knowed they had pictures on it, neither.

01:22:11.080 --> 01:22:14.080
Come in.

01:22:14.080 --> 01:22:16.080
Hey, it's two gun gypsy.

01:22:16.080 --> 01:22:19.080
It's sundown, folks. I'll take my rent.

01:22:19.080 --> 01:22:21.080
We got your rent, two gun gypsy.

01:22:21.080 --> 01:22:23.080
Eh, but we ain't gonna give it to you.

01:22:23.080 --> 01:22:24.080
Why not?

01:22:24.080 --> 01:22:27.080
Well, now we got money we can afford to live in a better neighborhood.

01:22:27.080 --> 01:22:34.080
Ma, little Judy and me and Vaughan and Patrice is moving. All Ma and me has got to say to you two gun gypsies is...

01:22:34.080 --> 01:22:42.080
So long it's been good to know ya So long it's been good to know ya

01:22:42.080 --> 01:22:51.080
So long it's been good to know ya You can't be no longer our home sweet home

01:22:51.080 --> 01:22:55.080
And we got to be drifting along

01:22:55.080 --> 01:23:03.080
So long it's been good to know ya So long it's been good to know ya

01:23:03.080 --> 01:23:11.080
You can't be no longer our home sweet home

01:23:11.080 --> 01:23:25.080
And we got to be drifting along Yes, we got to be drifting along

01:23:25.080 --> 01:23:31.080
Well, folks, well, darling, we've had a lot of fun tonight, and we hope you'll be with us next week when our stars will be

01:23:31.080 --> 01:23:39.080
Ray Bolger, Garrett Cooper, Danny Kaye, the Delta Rhythm Boys, Maxi Rosenbloom, Rudy Vallee,

01:23:39.080 --> 01:23:45.080
Julie Wilson and others, and of course, of course, Mary Wilson and his big show orchestra and chorus.

01:23:45.080 --> 01:23:53.080
And until then, may the good Lord bless and keep you for the near or far away.

01:23:53.080 --> 01:23:54.080
Judy?

01:23:54.080 --> 01:24:02.080
May you find that long-awaited golden day today, Vaughan.

01:24:02.080 --> 01:24:10.080
May your troubles all be small ones, and your fortunes ten times ten.

01:24:10.080 --> 01:24:19.080
May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again.

01:24:19.080 --> 01:24:20.080
Portland?

01:24:20.080 --> 01:24:28.080
May you walk with that light shining and a bluebird in every tree.

01:24:28.080 --> 01:24:29.080
Eddie?

01:24:29.080 --> 01:24:37.080
May there be a silver lining back of every cloud you see.

01:24:37.080 --> 01:24:38.080
Meredith?

01:24:38.080 --> 01:24:46.080
Till your dreams were sweet tomorrow, never mind what might have been.

01:24:46.080 --> 01:24:47.080
Fred?

01:24:47.080 --> 01:24:54.080
May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again.

01:24:54.080 --> 01:24:55.080
Patrice?

01:24:55.080 --> 01:25:04.080
May you long recall each rainbow, then you'll soon forget the rain.

01:25:04.080 --> 01:25:13.080
May the warm and tender memories be the ones that will remain.

01:25:13.080 --> 01:25:23.080
Till your dreams were sweet tomorrow, never mind what might have been.

01:25:23.080 --> 01:25:33.080
May the good Lord bless and keep you until we meet again.

01:25:33.080 --> 01:25:53.080
May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet, till we meet again.

01:25:53.080 --> 01:26:10.080
Good night, darling.