WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:08.000 No business. For the next hour and 30 minutes, this program will present important, such bright stars as... 00:10.000 --> 00:11.000 Uta Hagen 00:11.000 --> 00:12.000 Jack Haley 00:12.000 --> 00:13.000 Judy Holliday 00:13.000 --> 00:14.000 Paul Kelly 00:14.000 --> 00:16.000 Robert Merrow 00:16.000 --> 00:17.000 Olsen 00:17.000 --> 00:18.000 and Johnson 00:18.000 --> 00:19.000 Marty Woolley 00:19.000 --> 00:20.000 Meredith Wilson 00:20.000 --> 00:37.000 And my name, darling, is Lula Bankhead. 00:37.000 --> 00:39.000 The National Broadcasting Company presents... 00:39.000 --> 00:51.000 The Big Show! 00:51.000 --> 00:56.000 The Big Show, 90 minutes with the most scintillating personalities in the entertainment world. 00:56.000 --> 01:03.000 Brought to you this Sunday and every Sunday at the same time as the Sunday feature of NBC's All-Star Festival. 01:03.000 --> 01:23.000 And here is your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable, Lula Bankhead. 01:23.000 --> 01:30.000 Well, darlings, I've been waiting for this moment so I could read you this wonderful fan letter I received this week. 01:30.000 --> 01:36.000 The letter is unsigned, but I simply adore the person who sent it because he understands what I'm up against. 01:36.000 --> 01:41.000 Now, I'll read it to you. It says, Lula Bankhead, National Broadcasting Company, New York. 01:41.000 --> 01:43.000 Gentlemen... 01:43.000 --> 01:49.000 I didn't notice that before. 01:49.000 --> 01:51.000 Well, anyway, this is the record. 01:51.000 --> 02:01.000 Every week, the announcer on The Big Show says, and yes, she is, the glamorous and undesirable Lula Bankhead. 02:01.000 --> 02:05.000 This read much better without my glasses. 02:05.000 --> 02:07.000 But to continue with the letter, a quote, 02:07.000 --> 02:14.000 First they build you up as glamorous, and then they start describing you as something awful. 02:14.000 --> 02:21.000 Now, would it hurt them to say that you're young and pretty? It's radio. Nobody can see you anyway. 02:21.000 --> 02:25.000 Isn't that sweet? 02:25.000 --> 02:27.000 How is it? 02:27.000 --> 02:29.000 I wonder who wrote this letter. 02:29.000 --> 02:31.000 Get her. 02:31.000 --> 02:37.000 Judy Holiday! 02:37.000 --> 02:46.000 Judy, darling, you wrote this letter. It was so sweet of you. I'm flattered that the star born yesterday would write me a fan letter. 02:46.000 --> 02:48.000 I love getting fan letters. 02:48.000 --> 02:52.000 No matter how busy I am with the show, you know, I always find time to read my fan mail. 02:52.000 --> 02:56.000 Well, I spend half my nights just reading my mail. 02:56.000 --> 03:01.000 Still single, huh? 03:01.000 --> 03:04.000 Now, Judy, let's not get starved on that again. 03:04.000 --> 03:08.000 Every time I see you, you start in about my getting married. 03:08.000 --> 03:11.000 Right now, I don't want to get married. 03:11.000 --> 03:14.000 What's the matter? There's a law against it? 03:14.000 --> 03:18.000 I'm trying to tell you, darling, I like the life I lead. 03:18.000 --> 03:25.000 There's a law against that. 03:25.000 --> 03:29.000 Look, legal holiday! 03:29.000 --> 03:37.000 Ah, yes, sir. I can see you, sir. It's nothing to me. If you want to get married, you're the one that's got to worry, not me. 03:37.000 --> 03:39.000 Or is it not I? 03:39.000 --> 03:41.000 It is not I. 03:41.000 --> 03:45.000 Well, if it's not me and not you, then who? 03:45.000 --> 03:48.000 Because if those are certainly not going to worry about it. 03:48.000 --> 03:51.000 Honestly, sometimes you remind me of my friend Selma. 03:51.000 --> 03:53.000 Who is Selma? 03:53.000 --> 03:55.000 A girl. 03:55.000 --> 03:57.000 No fooling. 03:57.000 --> 04:00.000 None what ever. 04:00.000 --> 04:02.000 That's her trouble. 04:02.000 --> 04:06.000 For years, Selma was bothered by everything but fellas. 04:06.000 --> 04:08.000 Look, darling, let's drop Selma. 04:08.000 --> 04:13.000 Drop Selma? That was the slogan in the neighborhood, drop Selma. 04:13.000 --> 04:18.000 If I ain't got so bad, she decided to go to the psychiatrist and he cured her. 04:18.000 --> 04:23.000 Hey, you should go to the psychiatrist too, because you've got the same trouble she has. 04:23.000 --> 04:26.000 All your problems could be summed up in one word. 04:26.000 --> 04:28.000 Now what is that word? 04:28.000 --> 04:32.000 Well, I don't like to say it. 04:32.000 --> 04:36.000 Oh, go ahead and say it. What's the word? 04:36.000 --> 04:43.000 Well, I guess it's all right. Who could be listening? 04:43.000 --> 04:48.000 Your whole problem is a word that starts with S and ends with X. 04:48.000 --> 04:50.000 S, X? 04:50.000 --> 04:52.000 Oh, you mean? 04:52.000 --> 04:59.000 Supplamation complex. 04:59.000 --> 05:06.000 Darling, do you expect me to spend an hour out of my life every day lying on a psychiatrist's couch? 05:06.000 --> 05:12.000 To tell him the truth. 05:12.000 --> 05:16.000 My dear girl, he'd never believe it. 05:16.000 --> 05:20.000 As a matter of fact, Judy, I went to the psychiatrist about, what, about three years ago. 05:20.000 --> 05:22.000 Yeah, how'd it work out? 05:22.000 --> 05:28.000 Well, he's just beginning to take a little solid food now. 05:28.000 --> 05:31.000 Laugh, clown, laugh. 05:31.000 --> 05:36.000 But the time is going to come when you'll need a man to take care of you, to support you. 05:36.000 --> 05:40.000 Support me? Why, Judy, my friend, I have nothing to worry about. 05:40.000 --> 05:44.000 I have a very large annuity that is going to mature in ten years. 05:44.000 --> 05:49.000 Who won't? 05:49.000 --> 05:52.000 Big deal, an annuity. 05:52.000 --> 05:56.000 Will an annuity get up in the middle of the night when you're hungry and there's no food in the house 05:56.000 --> 06:00.000 and it's snowing outside and go down to Delica, Tessa, and get your ham and Swiss cheese sandwich 06:00.000 --> 06:05.000 on right toast, not too brown with plenty of mustard? 06:05.000 --> 06:09.000 And a bottle of beer? 06:09.000 --> 06:12.000 Do you think for one minute an annuity would do that? 06:12.000 --> 06:15.000 Your husband does that, I suppose. 06:15.000 --> 06:19.000 No, but he thinks about it for one minute. 06:19.000 --> 06:21.000 That's more than an annuity will do. 06:21.000 --> 06:25.000 Judy, you probably don't even know what an annuity is, do you dear? 06:25.000 --> 06:27.000 Vaguely. 06:27.000 --> 06:30.000 Well, an annuity is money you lay away for the future, you see. 06:30.000 --> 06:32.000 It's money you save for a rainy day. 06:32.000 --> 06:36.000 And with the annuity I've got, I've... 06:36.000 --> 06:38.000 Now let me get this straight. 06:38.000 --> 06:42.000 I'll be taken care of on plenty of rainy days. 06:42.000 --> 06:47.000 How about the night? 06:47.000 --> 06:51.000 Don't worry about my night, darling. 06:51.000 --> 06:55.000 I'll never want an escort. I know many of an attractive male. 06:55.000 --> 06:57.000 You mean fan male? 06:57.000 --> 06:59.000 Well, I know one thing. 06:59.000 --> 07:01.000 I'll need no husband to support me. 07:01.000 --> 07:03.000 I'll be financially independent. 07:03.000 --> 07:07.000 I'll be able to walk into Hattie Connigs, or Schiaparelli's, or Berghoff Goodman's, 07:07.000 --> 07:09.000 and buy anything I want. 07:09.000 --> 07:12.000 Yeah, but never into Lane Bryan. 07:12.000 --> 07:19.000 Laughter 07:19.000 --> 07:22.000 Well, Judy, you know what I think. 07:22.000 --> 07:24.000 I think we can stand a little music now. 07:24.000 --> 07:27.000 And here is Meredith Wilson with his big show, Ockerson Chorus, 07:27.000 --> 07:31.000 in a stirring arrangement of Military Poker. 07:31.000 --> 07:37.000 And you, beloved veterans of all the wars, some of your tunes are being here too. 07:37.000 --> 07:40.000 Okay. 07:40.000 --> 07:44.000 Put your arms around their shoulder when the orders shoulder arms. 07:44.000 --> 07:48.000 Take a bow, burn, rip, bump the lady and her tar. 07:48.000 --> 07:52.000 If her heart is your objective, you can win it right away 07:52.000 --> 07:56.000 when they play the Military Poker. 07:56.000 --> 08:00.000 To the right is the order and the dancer gaily twirls, 08:00.000 --> 08:03.000 and it's left, bop, face, go, you face your neighbor's girl. 08:03.000 --> 08:07.000 But you turn back to attention, love the order of the day 08:07.000 --> 08:11.000 when they play the Military Poker. 08:11.000 --> 08:19.000 See those military men in line, see their uniforms, their buttons all shine. 08:19.000 --> 08:25.000 It's amazing how erect they stand and your heart begins to beat. 08:25.000 --> 08:30.000 They get to beat to beat the band, and the band's terrific. 08:30.000 --> 08:36.000 It's wildly, deeply great when they play for marching or when they sing a fake. 08:36.000 --> 08:44.000 It's set, fall in, now the time, fall in line. 08:44.000 --> 08:49.000 They're all set to begin. 08:49.000 --> 09:09.000 Run the battle too. 09:09.000 --> 09:16.000 the 09:16.000 --> 09:19.000 the 09:19.000 --> 09:22.000 the 09:22.000 --> 09:25.000 the 09:25.000 --> 09:28.000 the 09:28.000 --> 09:31.000 the 09:31.000 --> 09:34.000 the 09:34.000 --> 09:41.000 the 09:41.000 --> 09:44.000 the 09:44.000 --> 09:47.000 the 09:47.000 --> 09:49.000 the 09:49.000 --> 09:52.000 the 09:52.000 --> 09:55.000 the 09:55.000 --> 09:58.000 the 09:58.000 --> 10:01.000 the 10:01.000 --> 10:04.000 the 10:04.000 --> 10:06.000 the 10:06.000 --> 10:09.000 the 10:09.000 --> 10:11.000 the 10:11.000 --> 10:14.000 the 10:14.000 --> 10:24.000 See the military men in line, in their uniforms they're fighting for the shine. 10:24.000 --> 10:28.000 It's amazing how free-spirited they play. 10:28.000 --> 10:44.000 And you'll find that you're in love to stay when they play the military song. 10:44.000 --> 10:55.000 Oh, thank you darling, that was simply divine. 10:55.000 --> 10:58.000 And oh, by the way Meredith, would you come here a moment? 10:58.000 --> 11:00.000 Yes, Miss Bankhead. 11:00.000 --> 11:02.000 Meredith. 11:04.000 --> 11:10.000 Darling, I've been meaning to speak to you for some weeks now about those revolting, 11:10.000 --> 11:16.000 nauseating stories you tell about that remote little hamlet of yours in Mason City. 11:16.000 --> 11:18.000 Iowa? 11:18.000 --> 11:20.000 Yes, you-o-r. 11:20.000 --> 11:24.000 Now look, my darling, I know that you're a wonderful musician and a fine composer, 11:24.000 --> 11:27.000 and I simply adore you and a completely charming gentleman, 11:27.000 --> 11:36.000 but I would consider it a great personal favor to me if you would stop telling those boring, nostalgic vignettes. 11:36.000 --> 11:43.000 Now I hope you will accept this in the spirit which it is given, venomously. 11:43.000 --> 11:49.000 Well sir, Miss Bankhead, anything you say. 11:49.000 --> 11:51.000 After all, you are the boss man on this program. 11:51.000 --> 11:56.000 Oh now, I don't mean to be nasty about it, Meredith, but I can prove you are dull. 11:56.000 --> 12:00.000 It would be if I told stories about my home town. 12:00.000 --> 12:02.000 Gee, would you, Miss Bankhead? 12:02.000 --> 12:04.000 Well sir. 12:04.000 --> 12:11.000 I remember once back in my home town, Montgomery, Montgomery, Alabama that is, 12:11.000 --> 12:15.000 when I was 15 years old, one day I was riding. 12:15.000 --> 12:18.000 No, I'd better not tell that man. 12:18.000 --> 12:20.000 Oh, I remember when I can tell. 12:20.000 --> 12:25.000 It was when I was 10 years old. 12:25.000 --> 12:31.000 And I was walking in the, well when I was 2 years old. 12:31.000 --> 12:36.000 Well you see, Meredith, we just have to draw the line somewhere. 12:36.000 --> 12:38.000 Mason Dixon, that is. 12:38.000 --> 12:42.000 Oh dear, we always seem to get back to Mason again. 12:42.000 --> 12:46.000 Meredith, I guess you're just a country boy at heart. 12:46.000 --> 12:50.000 Would you rather an ingenious way, ladies and gentlemen, 12:50.000 --> 12:56.000 to blend into two distinguished stars of the theater, Miss Uta Hargan and Mr. Paul Kelley. 12:56.000 --> 13:08.000 Miss Hargan and Mr. Kelley are reigning favorites on Broadway this season, 13:08.000 --> 13:11.000 starring in a new hit play by Mr. Tifford Odette. 13:11.000 --> 13:29.000 So darlings, here is Miss Hargan and Mr. Kelley in scenes from The Country Girl. 13:29.000 --> 13:34.000 Country Girl is a story of a theater. 13:34.000 --> 13:41.000 It is the story of a once brilliant actor named Frank Elgin who gets a chance to make a comeback. 13:41.000 --> 13:50.000 It's the story of his wife, Georgie, who has tasted many a bitter moment with Frank in his journey downhill to failure, 13:50.000 --> 14:02.000 but who somehow has kept the faith and who has not forgotten that when she married into the theater, she was just a country girl. 14:02.000 --> 14:07.000 Our scene opens in a furnished room occupied by the Elgin's on Eighth Avenue. 14:07.000 --> 14:13.000 Frank, after seven years of that work, has been given his chance to try out for the lead in new play. 14:13.000 --> 14:21.000 As always, when a decision needs to be made, we turn to Georgie. 14:21.000 --> 14:23.000 I can't do it, can I? 14:23.000 --> 14:26.000 Doesn't it seem strange for you to ask me that? 14:26.000 --> 14:28.000 You're my wife. 14:28.000 --> 14:35.000 Frank, we've been through this before, many times before. I'm tired, Frank. 14:35.000 --> 14:42.000 What happened? Where did I get so mixed up? I was the best young leading man in the business, not a slacker. 14:42.000 --> 14:43.000 The scripts didn't come. 14:43.000 --> 14:47.000 Oh, I knew it then. Out on the coast, I lost my nerve. 14:47.000 --> 14:58.000 Then when we lost the money in 39, and after those lousy federal theater jobs, this is the face that once turned down radio work. 14:58.000 --> 15:07.000 Whatever happened, I don't know what. But I'm good. I'm still good, baby, because I see what they think is good. 15:07.000 --> 15:13.000 Don't you think I'm good? I think I'm good. 15:13.000 --> 15:19.000 Then take the part. Make it your own responsibility, not mine. Take the part. 15:19.000 --> 15:25.000 Don't wiggle and caper, Frank. Can't you admit to yourself you're a failure? 15:25.000 --> 15:33.000 You'd die to save your face, not to fail in public. But I'm your wife. You have no face. 15:33.000 --> 15:35.000 Try to be clear about this offer. Think. 15:35.000 --> 15:39.000 I didn't hear him say he'd stall me. 15:39.000 --> 15:41.000 I have a message for you, Frank. Take the part. 15:41.000 --> 15:42.000 Yes, but what would you do if- 15:42.000 --> 15:45.000 Just leave me out. Take the part and do your level best. 15:45.000 --> 15:47.000 Well, what about that two weeks clause? You yourself- 15:47.000 --> 15:50.000 All I tried to do was get a better deal. You won't get perfect terms. 15:50.000 --> 15:53.000 You sure gave him a scrap. 15:53.000 --> 16:02.000 Georgie, I'll tell you. That two weeks clause, they can give me notice anytime, but I can give them notice too. 16:02.000 --> 16:07.000 They can let me out, but I can walk out any time I want to. If I feel I'm breaking my neck- 16:07.000 --> 16:08.000 You can quit. 16:08.000 --> 16:10.000 Yeah, that's sort of what I mean. You see? Get it? 16:10.000 --> 16:11.000 Yes. 16:11.000 --> 16:14.000 Two weeks clause. I don't even have to come into New York, do I? 16:14.000 --> 16:15.000 Nope. 16:15.000 --> 16:17.000 Well, say, what's wrong with that? 16:17.000 --> 16:21.000 That's it. Two can play the same game. 16:21.000 --> 16:27.000 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I almost forgot. A quarter of seven this morning, I had a dream. I laughed so hard it woke me up. 16:27.000 --> 16:28.000 A dream? 16:28.000 --> 16:32.000 A big banner. Now get this. A big banner was stretched across the street. 16:32.000 --> 16:37.000 Frank Elgin in. I couldn't make out. In what? Mayor LaGuardia was in the dream? 16:37.000 --> 16:42.000 Lots of people. Feeling good. That's a sign. 16:42.000 --> 16:47.000 I'm going to take that part, Georgie. Now you don't have to tell me not to dream. 16:47.000 --> 16:52.000 Haven't I been a good boy all summer? Early this morning I got that funny laughing dream. 16:52.000 --> 16:58.000 I was thinking of our lives, everything. And now this chance. I won't fail, Georgie. 16:58.000 --> 17:05.000 All those people in that dream, they wish me luck. And that's what counts if the world is with you and your wife. 17:05.000 --> 17:08.000 I don't have any appointment all winter. 17:08.000 --> 17:12.000 That's what counts. I can't fail this time. I feel like Jack-o-Million. 17:12.000 --> 17:18.000 I'll let God know. I'll go up to the office in person. But my first stop is the barbershop. I want the tons so real works. 17:18.000 --> 17:25.000 And if you want me to bring you back. No. Then here's a kiss for you, dear. Catch that. 17:25.000 --> 17:39.000 Oh dear God. Dear God. 17:39.000 --> 17:46.000 The players opened in Boston. The notices are fair. New York seems a certainty. 17:46.000 --> 17:51.000 But there are plenty of rough spots in script and performance is worth it. 17:51.000 --> 17:56.000 They've been rehearsing all night. And it's almost two in the morning. 17:56.000 --> 18:03.000 And Frank is changing in his dressing room as Georgie knits. Cold, depressing. 18:03.000 --> 18:09.000 And there's plenty of tension. And nerves are beginning to fizzle. 18:09.000 --> 18:13.000 Give me two more minutes, dear. I'm almost dressed. 18:13.000 --> 18:17.000 Frank. Yes? Where's the other bottle? What other bottle? 18:17.000 --> 18:21.000 I'm tired, Frank. Don't play peek-a-boo. Have you got another bottle of that cough syrup? 18:21.000 --> 18:24.000 No, I don't. All right. Give it to me. 18:24.000 --> 18:31.000 But I didn't buy another bottle, dear. I wish you'd believe me once in a while. 18:31.000 --> 18:37.000 What a knife. What a knife. All the time there's been a clanging in my head. I don't know who's punishing who anymore. 18:37.000 --> 18:39.000 I wish you'd take my word for something for a change. 18:39.000 --> 18:43.000 All right. Never mind. I give up. I won't look. Now where's my knitting? 18:43.000 --> 18:49.000 Georgie, I want to apologize. That director had no right to take that attitude. 18:49.000 --> 18:52.000 He has the right to take any attitude. He's the only friend you've had in ten years. 18:52.000 --> 18:56.000 Except in you, dear. And that's what I want, dear. The chance to show you how much I love you. 18:56.000 --> 18:57.000 How much you need me, you mean? 18:57.000 --> 19:01.000 Now, please, Georgie, don't be mad at me. I know I'm no darn good, but I'm worried to death. 19:01.000 --> 19:03.000 You tell that to the director. 19:03.000 --> 19:07.000 Think of what it means to me to walk out on that stage every night. The whole responsibility of the show is on my shoulders. 19:07.000 --> 19:08.000 Tell that to the director. 19:08.000 --> 19:15.000 Baby, I'm ashamed. I don't know where to hide. I don't know the old line. And tomorrow I get a big new scene. 19:15.000 --> 19:20.000 Now you say you're going back to Leon. I can't do this if you don't help me. 19:20.000 --> 19:25.000 I didn't ask for this part. Didn't he come to me? Weren't you there? They don't appreciate it. 19:25.000 --> 19:26.000 Stop putting on a front. 19:26.000 --> 19:27.000 Who's putting on a front? 19:27.000 --> 19:29.000 You're putting on a front and you lie. You lie. 19:29.000 --> 19:31.000 What do you want me to do? Wime and complain? Do you want me to make them hate me? 19:31.000 --> 19:33.000 No, they'll adore you when you go off on a bender. 19:33.000 --> 19:34.000 Who says on a bender? 19:34.000 --> 19:40.000 Old waffle iron says the mop behind the door. 19:40.000 --> 19:51.000 And this is how it ends. That laughing dream. You had a laughing dream five weeks ago. 19:51.000 --> 19:56.000 I don't know anyone up here in Boston. Are you going back to New York? 19:56.000 --> 19:57.000 I don't see why not. 19:57.000 --> 19:58.000 You want to leave me, don't you? 19:58.000 --> 19:59.000 It's late, Frank. 19:59.000 --> 20:00.000 You do, don't you? 20:00.000 --> 20:02.000 I want to go to bed. I may have a happy dream. 20:02.000 --> 20:04.000 Who's in New York? What pair of pants are you looking for? 20:04.000 --> 20:07.000 Frank, I warn you. I'm going to hit you with the first thing I lay my hands on. 20:07.000 --> 20:10.000 Oh, company. None of them like me. Not even Bernie. 20:10.000 --> 20:13.000 The director. How do I know he's going to keep me on? 20:13.000 --> 20:17.000 If he act like a friend tonight, they all want me to fail. You want me to fail. You don't love me. 20:17.000 --> 20:18.000 Come on, Frank. 20:18.000 --> 20:19.000 All I've got is my two hands. 20:19.000 --> 20:22.000 Well, use them. It's after 2 a.m. You have a one o'clock call. 20:22.000 --> 20:24.000 If you're in such a hurry, there's the door. 20:24.000 --> 20:27.000 I, as a matter of fact, may take myself a walk, get myself a big dapple and some milk. 20:27.000 --> 20:28.000 Your cold is getting worse. 20:28.000 --> 20:30.000 Let them worry about it. And I told you what you can do. 20:30.000 --> 20:32.000 Oh, you want me to go? Is that what you want? 20:32.000 --> 20:33.000 If you're in such a hurry. 20:33.000 --> 20:35.000 Oh, the devil with it. Just the devil with it. 20:35.000 --> 20:37.000 I'm going back to the hotel. You do what you want. 20:37.000 --> 20:39.000 Sometimes I think you're playing out of your head. 20:42.000 --> 20:44.000 Playing out of your head. 20:44.000 --> 20:46.000 Do what you want. 20:46.000 --> 20:48.000 Your cold is getting worse. 20:48.000 --> 20:50.000 That's right. Walk out. 20:50.000 --> 20:52.000 I got him alive. 20:52.000 --> 20:54.000 That's typical. Typical. 20:55.000 --> 20:57.000 Help me. 20:57.000 --> 21:00.000 Sweetheart. 21:00.000 --> 21:02.000 I wonder where that other bottle is. 21:08.000 --> 21:10.000 Sweetheart. 21:10.000 --> 21:12.000 Help me. 21:12.000 --> 21:27.000 Country girl. 21:43.000 --> 21:48.000 Through the harbour in Paul Kelly, I must tell you how much I enjoyed you just now. 21:48.000 --> 21:51.000 You're really both truly wonderful. And I mean it. 21:51.000 --> 21:54.000 And at the theatre when I saw you the opening night. 21:54.000 --> 21:55.000 Thank you, Tilly. 21:55.000 --> 21:56.000 You're very kind. 21:56.000 --> 21:59.000 Oh, darling, will I ever forget that night that you two opened Country Girl. 21:59.000 --> 22:01.000 What a brilliant affair that turned out to be. 22:01.000 --> 22:03.000 I was so happy for both of you. 22:03.000 --> 22:06.000 I was wearing my new black dress and my pearls. 22:06.000 --> 22:09.000 Oh, gosh, not my real pearls, as you understand. 22:09.000 --> 22:12.000 My real ones in the vault. 22:12.000 --> 22:14.000 It's all these. 22:14.000 --> 22:17.000 And then sure, you know, the art these days is just ridiculous. 22:17.000 --> 22:19.000 But I did have the dress made for that opening. 22:19.000 --> 22:25.000 The dress particularly made because I wanted so much for Clifford Odette to have another hit on his hands. 22:25.000 --> 22:31.000 I appeared in Clifford Odette's play, you know, that he wrote some years ago called Clash by Night with Joseph Schilkart. 22:31.000 --> 22:35.000 Joseph, you know, from that wonderful play, The Green Bay Tree, which has closed. 22:35.000 --> 22:38.000 That's the same play. 22:38.000 --> 22:42.000 And no, truly, it's the same play that opened 15 years ago with Laurence Olivier. 22:42.000 --> 22:45.000 And I needn't tell you how wonderful I think Larry is. 22:45.000 --> 22:58.000 Of course, why they should have brought over his wife Vivian Leigh from England to play Scarlett O'Hara when I was around all the time. 22:58.000 --> 23:01.000 It's something I will never understand. 23:01.000 --> 23:07.000 But who could have played Scarlett O'Hara better than this little Alabama Country Girl? 23:07.000 --> 23:11.000 Oh, by the way, it was the play I started to tell you that you were so wonderful then, darling. 23:11.000 --> 23:14.000 She sure went a roundabout way to get to that, didn't she, Paul? 23:14.000 --> 23:17.000 Well, you don't think they pay you on this program just for acting. 23:17.000 --> 23:19.000 Well, let's go then. 23:19.000 --> 23:21.000 Oh, I'm just waiting around for my money. 23:21.000 --> 23:25.000 Oh, I had very good seats at the opening. You know, I was sitting in the very first row. Did you see me? 23:25.000 --> 23:29.000 Yes, sir. We heard you very well. 23:29.000 --> 23:34.000 Well, darling, the whole audience was just talking to the play because it presents such a provocative problem. 23:34.000 --> 23:41.000 I mean, the story of a famous actor who tried to make a comeback in the theater, and when he found out he couldn't, he took the drink. Isn't that it, Paul? 23:41.000 --> 23:48.000 Something like that. Some actors, when they find their failures in the theater, take the drink. Others take the radio. 23:48.000 --> 23:52.000 Laughter 23:52.000 --> 23:58.000 No! Yes. Yes. 23:58.000 --> 24:07.000 Well, now, Udra, in The Country Girl, you played the part of a wife who was struck by her man for ten years while he's been drinking, and then when he gets his chance to come back, he doesn't take advantage of it. 24:07.000 --> 24:15.000 It seems to me that from a psychological standpoint, I wouldn't put up with my husband drinking for ten years. I'd walk right out and leave him. 24:15.000 --> 24:18.000 Look who's talking about leaving her husband. 24:18.000 --> 24:20.000 Laughter 24:20.000 --> 24:23.000 Judy, I wish you'd stay out of this. 24:23.000 --> 24:28.000 Excuse me, but first you've got to find a husband before you can leave him. 24:28.000 --> 24:34.000 There's happened to be a play with psychiatric undertone you wouldn't understand. 24:34.000 --> 24:39.000 I wouldn't understand. I know all about psychiatrics. 24:39.000 --> 24:41.000 Who told you? 24:41.000 --> 24:44.000 Freud, that's who. 24:44.000 --> 24:48.000 Freud? How do you know about Freud? 24:48.000 --> 24:53.000 Everybody knows about Freud. These days everybody's nervous. 24:53.000 --> 24:56.000 You've got to be a little crazy, otherwise you go nuts. 24:56.000 --> 25:01.000 Laughter 25:01.000 --> 25:10.000 I still stick to my story. If a woman has stood by her husband who's been drinking for ten years and running a light, she has a perfect right to walk out on him. 25:10.000 --> 25:13.000 I think Udra should have walked out on Paul. 25:13.000 --> 25:14.000 Who? 25:14.000 --> 25:21.000 You and Paul, that's what we were talking about. Oh my dear, haven't you met Udra Hagen? Surely you've heard of his great actions in the theater. 25:21.000 --> 25:23.000 Oh, Udra Hagen. 25:23.000 --> 25:25.000 Laughter 25:25.000 --> 25:28.000 How you do? To lose a talk's kind of peculiar. 25:28.000 --> 25:30.000 Laughter 25:30.000 --> 25:33.000 I didn't understand your name. 25:33.000 --> 25:37.000 Sure, I know the name of Udra Hagen as well as I know Tennessee Williams. 25:37.000 --> 25:38.000 Laughter 25:38.000 --> 25:42.000 But I didn't know you and Paul were married. How long's he been drinking? 25:42.000 --> 25:45.000 Laughter 25:45.000 --> 25:53.000 Judy, Judy, they're in a play. Paul drinks in a play. The drinking we're talking about is hypothetical. 25:53.000 --> 25:55.000 That's the worst kind. 25:55.000 --> 25:58.000 Laughter 25:58.000 --> 26:04.000 It's in the play, Judy, that Paul portrays a husband who drinks and Udra is the wife who continues to live with him. 26:04.000 --> 26:09.000 But why shouldn't she? But you wouldn't understand that. You're not married. 26:09.000 --> 26:11.000 You know, Paul, she has a point there. 26:11.000 --> 26:13.000 Yes, and it looks nice on her. 26:13.000 --> 26:15.000 Laughter 26:15.000 --> 26:18.000 No, I mean Judy has a logical argument. 26:18.000 --> 26:24.000 Well, yes, a person who's not married would find it difficult to understand the problems involved between her husband and wife. 26:24.000 --> 26:27.000 That's nice. Hey Paul, you're not as drunk as they say you are. 26:27.000 --> 26:31.000 Laughter 26:31.000 --> 26:35.000 How would Tallulah know if she'd leave her husband? She's a single girl. 26:35.000 --> 26:42.000 Oh, nonsense, Judy. There's certain things you feel. I don't have to sit on a hot stove to know that it'll burn me. 26:42.000 --> 26:44.000 Laughter 26:44.000 --> 26:47.000 So if you want to sit on a hot stove, sit. 26:47.000 --> 26:48.000 Laughter 26:48.000 --> 26:50.000 There's no skin off my nose. 26:50.000 --> 26:53.000 Laughter 26:53.000 --> 27:09.000 Applause 27:09.000 --> 27:38.000 Music 27:38.000 --> 28:03.000 Music 28:03.000 --> 28:28.000 Music 28:28.000 --> 28:33.000 You have been listening to Here Comes the Springtime, played by Meredith Wilson and the Big Show officer. 28:33.000 --> 28:42.000 We'll be back in a moment with Judy and Uta and Paul, and our other stars, Jack Haley, Olsen and Johnson, Monty Woolley and Robert Merrill. 28:42.000 --> 28:50.000 Now it's time for me to ring my chimes. This, darlings, is NBC, the national broadcasting company. 28:50.000 --> 29:08.000 Music 29:08.000 --> 29:16.000 The Big Show. This is the national broadcasting company, Stunnedy Extravaganza, with the most simulating personalities in show business. 29:16.000 --> 29:28.000 The Big Show, the Sunday night feature of NBC's All-Star Festival, is brought to you by Chesterfield, the cigarette that has, for you, mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste. 29:28.000 --> 29:37.000 The cigarette that brings you Bing Crosby and Bob Hope, and by the makers of Anisyn, for fast relief from the pain of headache, neuritis and neuralgia. 29:37.000 --> 29:43.000 And by RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television. 29:43.000 --> 29:55.000 The big stars in this program are Uta Hagan, Jack Haley, Judy Holliday, Paul Kelly, Robert Merrill, Olsen and Johnson, Monty Woolley, Meredith Wilson and his Big Show orchestra and chorus. 29:55.000 --> 30:02.000 And every week, your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable, Tallulah Bankhead. 30:02.000 --> 30:16.000 Music 30:16.000 --> 30:24.000 Glamorous and unpredictable. Why do they keep saying that? I am not unpredictable. 30:24.000 --> 30:38.000 I can't for the life of me understand why they got the idea in the first place. I mean, for instance, rehearsals end at 10 o'clock, I show up at 10 o'clock, I am either no, it's at 10 o'clock in the morning too. 30:38.000 --> 30:50.000 And they say I'm unpredictable because I don't read the script exactly as it's written. Why that's absolutely nothing. I read every line in the script. I even read between the lines. 30:50.000 --> 30:57.000 Unpredictable indeed. I've been on the show for 16 weeks and I haven't missed a single performance. 30:57.000 --> 31:07.000 Why I even showed up one week when the audience wasn't even there. Wasted a whole Monday. 31:07.000 --> 31:23.000 Unpredictable my eye. But now I want you to meet a gentleman who is never unpredictable because everything he's been in has been a success. He's been in every phase of show business. Vaudville, musical comedy, motion picture, radio, television. 31:23.000 --> 31:34.000 So well known in New York, Hollywood and Fort Knox, Jack Haley. 31:34.000 --> 31:38.000 Now just a minute, Tallulah. What's with that Fort Knox? 31:38.000 --> 31:44.000 Well darling, it's no secret. Everybody in show business knows you have a lot of Jack. Jack. 31:44.000 --> 31:48.000 Yeah, and everybody knows you got a lot of move, Tallulah. 31:48.000 --> 31:51.000 Well I would have darling, but taxes weren't so high. 31:51.000 --> 31:53.000 Taxes? Oh, I got a way to beat the taxes. 31:53.000 --> 31:54.000 You have? How? 31:54.000 --> 31:58.000 I'm not going to pay him. I'll just go to prison for 10 years. 31:58.000 --> 32:06.000 Oh, what a darling idea. I wish I thought of that. I could have saved so much money. 32:06.000 --> 32:07.000 You pay a lot of taxes, Tallulah? 32:07.000 --> 32:16.000 Oh, that's awful. I mean I'm still paying for 1947. That was the biggest I ever had. My income tax alone came to $560,000. 32:16.000 --> 32:19.000 Five hundred and sixty thousand? You made all that money in one year? 32:19.000 --> 32:31.000 Oh, I didn't make anything that year, darling. I couldn't get a player anything. I laid off all year, but a bunch of us girls were sitting around the stock club making our income taxes. 32:31.000 --> 32:46.000 Helen Hayes and Katie Hepburn and then Fontaine. And when I saw the salaries they were filling in, well, I wasn't going to let them chop me. 32:46.000 --> 33:04.000 When I put down $1,700,050, I wish you could have seen their faces. Of course it'll take me 20 years to pay the taxes. But it was certainly worth it just to see their faces. 33:04.000 --> 33:10.000 Well, that's one way to beat them, but my way is cheaper. Still, you know what they say, Tallulah? Money isn't everything. 33:10.000 --> 33:14.000 Who says that? 33:14.000 --> 33:17.000 People with money. 33:17.000 --> 33:25.000 Well, yes, Jack, I suppose you're right. I think health is more important than money. Oh, by the way, darling, I did read in the papers last week that you'd been ill. 33:25.000 --> 33:35.000 Yeah, that's right. I hadn't been feeling very well for about six weeks. It had me worried. I stayed up until five o'clock every morning trying to figure out what was wrong with me. And I finally figured it out. 33:35.000 --> 33:36.000 What was it? 33:36.000 --> 33:39.000 I wasn't getting enough sleep. 33:39.000 --> 33:42.000 Well, you feel better now, Jack. I mean, did you see a doctor? 33:42.000 --> 33:44.000 Sure. The doctor examined me. 33:44.000 --> 33:45.000 Well, what'd he find? 33:45.000 --> 33:49.000 Five hundred dollars. He told me I had to drink a lot of water every day. 33:49.000 --> 33:53.000 Whoa! How costly! 33:53.000 --> 34:01.000 But I'm looking forward to a vacation this summer after I get through with my television series for the Ford dealers. And I think I'll go out to California. I've got a little house out there on the beach. 34:01.000 --> 34:03.000 Oh, that sounds divine. 34:03.000 --> 34:09.000 Well, last summer it wasn't so divine. I was walking on the beach one day and a lobster bit one of my toes. 34:09.000 --> 34:11.000 Oh, really? Which one? 34:11.000 --> 34:15.000 I don't know. All those lobsters look alike to me. 34:15.000 --> 34:23.000 Oh, I love the beach, Jack. We were out to Hollywood just three weeks ago with the show, you know, and it was warm enough to go to the beach every day. 34:23.000 --> 34:29.000 I created a sort of, well, mild sensation there with my three-piece bathing suit. 34:29.000 --> 34:32.000 Three-piece bathing suit? What's the third piece? 34:32.000 --> 34:38.000 Oh, that's the big piece. The label. 34:38.000 --> 34:46.000 Do you know what would be a wonderful relaxing thing for you to do, Jack? Take an ocean voyage to Europe. I mean, you can visit France or Italy. 34:46.000 --> 34:52.000 And oh, how about Ireland? You're Irish, aren't you? Well, you must have lots of friends in Ireland. 34:52.000 --> 34:56.000 Well, my friends used to be there, but now it's all changed. I'll tell you about it. 34:56.000 --> 35:04.000 I don't have to go to Ireland. I'll visit there no more. 35:04.000 --> 35:09.000 It's sad, but I'm not lonesome for the sight of Errand Shore. 35:09.000 --> 35:19.000 For all my Irish playmates, all of my friends so good, have gone and got them settled in a place called Hollywood. 35:19.000 --> 35:30.000 I shook hands with Barry Fitzgerald and also Frank McHugh, had lunch with Vic McClaggen and Jimmy Cagney, too. 35:30.000 --> 35:38.000 When I get to the depot, I never heard such din as the cries from all the Collines when they saw R.L. Flynn. 35:38.000 --> 35:47.000 I visited Pat O'Brien, stopped over to Gordon McCray, had a nip with William Gargan, and one with Mike O'Shea. 35:47.000 --> 35:55.000 At night there was a party, and I was glad I went, because I met the whole Miss Booker at the home of Georgie Brent. 35:55.000 --> 36:03.000 There was Margaret O'Brien, Virginia O'Brien, and Edmund O'Brien, with Paul Robert Ryan and Leo McCary and Stephen McNally, all gathered there for this gala affair. 36:03.000 --> 36:11.000 There was Rory Galhoni with young Mickey Rooney, Roddy McDowell with Alan O'Paul, Freddie McMurray, who left in a hurry to meet Dennis Morgan, who couldn't be there. 36:11.000 --> 36:15.000 George Murphy came in with a great picture, Lely said, was a gift from that dancing Dan Daly. 36:15.000 --> 36:20.000 Then Dennis O'Keefe made a speech, it was brief, he said, here comes the floor show to brighten the place. 36:20.000 --> 36:29.000 There were songs by McCanter and jokes by O'Bennie and toasts from McJessel, who comes from Kilkenny. 36:29.000 --> 36:36.000 The show had a topper, it was Heddo Hopper, who wore a new hat made of shamrocks and lace. 36:36.000 --> 36:45.000 Oh Sullivan and O'Hara, those lovely two Marines, Marie and Jeanette McDonald, two other sweet Colleen's. 36:45.000 --> 36:55.000 John Regan and Morton Downey joined voices in a song and everyone was dancing, even Cassidy Hopped along. 36:55.000 --> 37:08.000 So now you know the reason I don't miss the Blarney Stone, for with all those Irish movie stars, I'll never be alone. 37:08.000 --> 37:18.000 Oh God bless you and keep you Joel McCrae. 37:18.000 --> 37:31.000 Applause 37:31.000 --> 37:42.000 And now ladies and gentlemen, here are two divine friends of mine from Hollywood, who are off on the road to tobacco, Bob Hope and Bing Crosby. 37:42.000 --> 37:44.000 Say Bing, you got a minute? 37:44.000 --> 37:46.000 Oh sure Bob, I got all the time in the world. 37:46.000 --> 37:47.000 Don't tell me you own that too. 37:47.000 --> 37:49.000 Never mind that stuff, get to work with it. 37:49.000 --> 37:56.000 Okay, folks, Better Tasting Chesterfield is the only cigarette that combines for you mildness with a no unpleasant aftertaste. 37:56.000 --> 38:04.000 And you can prove that yourself, just make our mildness test, buy Chesterfields and open them and enjoy that milder mellow aroma. 38:04.000 --> 38:10.000 Now light one up and you'll know Chesterfields milder because it smokes milder and Chesterfield leaves no unpleasant aftertaste. 38:10.000 --> 38:15.000 That fact has been confirmed by the country's first and only cigarette taste panel. 38:15.000 --> 38:19.000 Yes, mildness and no unpleasant aftertaste of what you and I and every smoker want. 38:19.000 --> 38:21.000 Hurry up dad, here comes the music. 38:21.000 --> 38:28.000 Chesterfield, Chesterfield always takes first place, that milder mild tobacco never leaves an aftertaste. 38:28.000 --> 38:33.000 So open a pack, give them a smell, then you'll smoke them. 38:33.000 --> 38:48.000 I was talking a little while ago about being unpredictable and now I want you to meet a couple of gentlemen who really are unpredictable. 38:48.000 --> 38:58.000 If you've ever seen them in a theater in Hells a Poppin' and Sons of Fun and some of their other great hits, you'd know what unpredictable means. 38:58.000 --> 39:02.000 I refer of course to Osen and Johnson owning Chick. 39:02.000 --> 39:10.000 Applause 39:10.000 --> 39:16.000 Well, where are they? How unpredictable can you get? Come on fellas, up to the microphone. 39:16.000 --> 39:21.000 We don't wanna. 39:21.000 --> 39:26.000 What do you mean you don't wanna? You're not gonna sit there all through the show and read a script. 39:26.000 --> 39:30.000 You've gotta stand up if you want to give a performance. Put your all into it. 39:30.000 --> 39:34.000 Do what? 39:34.000 --> 39:36.000 Put your all into it. 39:36.000 --> 39:40.000 We've got our all into it when we step down. 39:40.000 --> 39:48.000 What are you saying? That's no way to talk on this show. Why don't you tell her why we're sitting here? I guess I'd better do it. 39:48.000 --> 39:49.000 You see Miss Bankhead? 39:49.000 --> 39:52.000 I see Miss Bankhead. How can you miss her? 39:52.000 --> 39:56.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Stop that. You know, this is a high class show. 39:56.000 --> 39:57.000 A big pardon? 39:57.000 --> 40:00.000 I say this is a high class show. 40:00.000 --> 40:04.000 Yeah, I noticed. I noticed they don't hold the script on their bare fingers. 40:04.000 --> 40:05.000 No. 40:05.000 --> 40:08.000 They use a fork and a knife. 40:08.000 --> 40:11.000 Very funny indeed. 40:11.000 --> 40:16.000 Fork and knife, that is why we expect our guests to give a sterling performance. 40:16.000 --> 40:19.000 Sterling performance, do you hear that? Sterling. 40:19.000 --> 40:21.000 I don't get it. 40:21.000 --> 40:31.000 You see Tallulah, we came here prepared to do an act. But we're, you know, we're in a kind of a jam here because, well, with the kind of an act we do, we're under kind of a handicap. 40:31.000 --> 40:33.000 And no talent, darling. 40:33.000 --> 40:38.000 Well, we wanted to start off even with our holsters. 40:38.000 --> 40:43.000 You know, we came here wanting to do something, but they didn't surprise us with the necessary props. 40:43.000 --> 40:53.000 Oh yes, of course I know. In the theatre, you're a big hit with plants growing out of flower pots, people trying to get out of straight jackets and funny looking costumes and things. 40:53.000 --> 40:59.000 But this is radio. Your comedy is visual. You know, sight. 40:59.000 --> 41:00.000 What? 41:00.000 --> 41:03.000 I said your comedy is sight. 41:03.000 --> 41:08.000 Yeah? You're a pretty funny sight yourself. 41:08.000 --> 41:14.000 Now, Chick, that's no way to talk. Now apologize to Miss Bankhead. Say you're sorry. 41:14.000 --> 41:17.000 I'm sorry you're a sight, Miss Bankhead. 41:17.000 --> 41:18.000 No, Chick. 41:18.000 --> 41:19.000 A sorry sight? 41:19.000 --> 41:20.000 No. 41:20.000 --> 41:21.000 A mess. 41:21.000 --> 41:26.000 Now wait a minute, will you stop? Miss Bankhead, I'd better explain what my partner means. 41:26.000 --> 41:30.000 Well, if anyone can explain it, I guess you can. How long have you two been partners? 41:30.000 --> 41:32.000 Thirty-five years. 41:32.000 --> 41:33.000 Thirty-five years. 41:33.000 --> 41:36.000 Yes. How long have you two been partners? 41:36.000 --> 41:39.000 Now look here, Costello. 41:39.000 --> 41:46.000 Hey, Chick, I'm warning you. You better stop it. This isn't Milton Berle. You can lick him. 41:46.000 --> 41:51.000 But you see, Miss Bankhead, in the theatre, we know exactly what kind of comedy to do. 41:51.000 --> 41:58.000 Oh, I've seen your show many times, darling. And as I say, most of the things you do are visual, not the radio. 41:58.000 --> 42:05.000 I mean, they belong in that other medium, the name of which for the murder escapes the sheep. 42:05.000 --> 42:06.000 The sheep didn't? 42:06.000 --> 42:12.000 Now listen, but it's not all visual. We have a sort of a loud rocker show with a lot of big noises. 42:12.000 --> 42:14.000 Yeah, so I'm the only big noise around here. 42:14.000 --> 42:21.000 Yes, I know. But in the shows we've done on Broadway, we've been, you know, a big hit. We kill the audiences. 42:21.000 --> 42:25.000 How can you miss with all those guns you keep shooting off? 42:25.000 --> 42:31.000 Well, if you boys were ready to do your act, load up and I'll toss out the earplugs. 42:31.000 --> 42:34.000 No, but that's just it. They didn't give us any props. 42:34.000 --> 42:35.000 Props? 42:35.000 --> 42:43.000 Sure. We need fifty automatics, twenty colts, a half a dozen machine guns, and a dozen anti-aircraft guns for the balcony. 42:43.000 --> 42:47.000 And thirteen weeks of basic training, no doubt. 42:47.000 --> 42:54.000 No, we'll need more stuff than that, chick. We'll need, let's see, two cases of seltzer, twenty-five coconut custard pies. 42:54.000 --> 42:55.000 A hamburger. 42:55.000 --> 42:56.000 A hamburger? 42:56.000 --> 42:58.000 I'm hungry. 42:58.000 --> 43:07.000 We'll need some pails of water, a wagonload of bricks, four swords, and a gorgeous blonde girl about eighteen years old. 43:07.000 --> 43:10.000 What else are you going to do with her? 43:10.000 --> 43:16.000 Oh, yeah? We'll think of something. 43:16.000 --> 43:21.000 What are you thinking, gentlemen? Ed Hurley, he has a word to say. 43:21.000 --> 43:27.000 Every day you hear more and more about an incredibly fast way to relieve the pains of headache, neuritis, and neuralgia. 43:27.000 --> 43:31.000 It's Anason, A-N-A-C-I-N. 43:31.000 --> 43:35.000 Now, the reason Anason is so wonderfully fast-acting and effective is this. 43:35.000 --> 43:46.000 Anason is like a doctor's prescription. That is, Anason contains not just one, but a combination of medically proven active ingredients in easy-to-take tablet form. 43:46.000 --> 43:52.000 Thousands of people have received envelopes containing Anason tablets from their own dentist or physician, 43:52.000 --> 43:59.000 and in this way discovered the incredibly fast relief Anason brings from pains of headache, neuritis, or neuralgia. 43:59.000 --> 44:09.000 So the next time a headache strikes, take Anason for this wonderfully fast relief. That's Anason, A-N-A-C-I-N. 44:09.000 --> 44:15.000 Anason in handy boxes of twelve and thirty, economical family-sized bottles of fifty and one hundred. 44:15.000 --> 44:19.000 Ask for Anason at any drug counter. 44:19.000 --> 44:34.000 Well, Mrs. Oatesman and Johnson, did you think of anything you can do on our show? 44:34.000 --> 44:37.000 Well, not yet, Tallulah. We're still working on it. 44:37.000 --> 44:39.000 Sure, we got something we could do. Wait a minute. 44:39.000 --> 44:40.000 What do you mean? 44:40.000 --> 44:42.000 Let's do the bit we did in Peoria with June and, you know... 44:42.000 --> 44:44.000 Wait a minute. We can't do that here. 44:44.000 --> 44:45.000 Sure, we can. 44:45.000 --> 44:49.000 Nah, it's so messy. She won't stand for it. 44:49.000 --> 44:50.000 Sure, she will. 44:50.000 --> 44:51.000 I tell you, no. 44:51.000 --> 44:55.000 Now look, boys, suppose you let me decide. What is it you want to do? 44:55.000 --> 44:59.000 Oh, it's something from an old act of ours. Chick used to sing a song. 44:59.000 --> 45:02.000 Yes, with the right side of my mouth I sang, 45:02.000 --> 45:05.000 Life is just a ball of cherries. 45:05.000 --> 45:08.000 And with the left side of my mouth, I used to sing, 45:08.000 --> 45:11.000 In the shade of the old apple tree. 45:11.000 --> 45:15.000 And the middle of your mouth just stands there and does nothing, I suppose. 45:15.000 --> 45:19.000 With the middle of my mouth, I spit out the pits. 45:25.000 --> 45:30.000 Now look, the snake pits. 45:30.000 --> 45:35.000 I'm sure that must be a nourishing and fluid display of talent, 45:35.000 --> 45:37.000 but this is the big show. 45:37.000 --> 45:40.000 Okay, I'll do it with watermelons. 45:40.000 --> 45:42.000 Now, Chick, will you drop that idea? 45:42.000 --> 45:44.000 We'll think of something else, Kalula. 45:44.000 --> 45:49.000 Not so incongruous to the decorum and dignity of this talented melons, 45:49.000 --> 45:52.000 which is foregathered here on this podium. 45:52.000 --> 45:57.000 That's what I said. With the middle of my mouth, I spit out the pits. 45:59.000 --> 46:02.000 Okay, Apple Knocker, simmer down. 46:02.000 --> 46:05.000 Do you mind if I go on with the rest of the show, darling? 46:05.000 --> 46:06.000 No, no, that's all right. 46:06.000 --> 46:08.000 Oh, thank you. You're so sweet. 46:08.000 --> 46:11.000 And now, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to present... 46:11.000 --> 46:14.000 Hey, Chick, you know she's pretty nice? 46:14.000 --> 46:17.000 Oh, yes. She's a good skate. 46:17.000 --> 46:21.000 Oh, why shouldn't she be? They used to have an ice show here. 46:21.000 --> 46:24.000 And now, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to present... 46:24.000 --> 46:29.000 She must be one of the figure eights that was left over. 46:29.000 --> 46:34.000 She looks like she made the eighth the hard way. 46:34.000 --> 46:39.000 Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to present two fours. 46:39.000 --> 46:41.000 I mean, I would like... 46:41.000 --> 46:45.000 Would you two gentlemen try to keep quiet? I'm trying to learn how to make that. 46:45.000 --> 46:47.000 Oh, I'm sorry, Talula. 46:47.000 --> 46:49.000 You don't worry us. Go right ahead. 46:49.000 --> 46:52.000 Ladies and gentlemen, I would like now to present a young man 46:52.000 --> 46:56.000 whose magnificent voice is currently filling Metropolitan Opera Goers, 46:56.000 --> 47:02.000 a man who graciously consented to rejoin us two weeks earlier than he planned 47:02.000 --> 47:04.000 because of the illness of Mr. James Melton. 47:04.000 --> 47:08.000 We're honored to have Mr. Robert Merrill back on the big show tonight. 47:08.000 --> 47:12.000 Will you stop it, Chick? How do I know how much money she makes? 47:12.000 --> 47:14.000 Quiet, you two! 47:14.000 --> 47:18.000 Ladies and gentlemen, here he is, Mr. Robert Merrill. 47:18.000 --> 47:23.000 Applause 47:23.000 --> 47:28.000 Oh, Bob, darling. I'm so glad you were able to be with us this week. 47:28.000 --> 47:30.000 You're very kind, Talula. 47:30.000 --> 47:34.000 You know, I sang in your hometown a few weeks ago in Montgomery, Alabama. 47:34.000 --> 47:36.000 Oh, that's right. You did sing there. 47:36.000 --> 47:39.000 I remember because I wrote some of my schoolmates and told them you'd be there. 47:39.000 --> 47:41.000 Yes, I know. I met them all. 47:41.000 --> 47:44.000 They're the nicest little old ladies. 47:44.000 --> 47:47.000 Laughter 47:47.000 --> 47:49.000 Old ladies? 47:49.000 --> 47:51.000 You must have met the mothers of my schoolmates. 47:51.000 --> 47:55.000 Oh, no. These little old ladies were the children of your schoolmates. 47:55.000 --> 47:57.000 Laughter 47:57.000 --> 48:01.000 That's an insult. It's too involved for me to figure out. 48:01.000 --> 48:03.000 But what did you sing for them, Robert? 48:03.000 --> 48:05.000 Well, the song they requested was Di Provenza. 48:05.000 --> 48:09.000 Di Provenza. Oh, I'd give anything to have heard it. 48:09.000 --> 48:10.000 Do you want me to sing it now? 48:10.000 --> 48:12.000 Would you, darling? Would you sing it for me? 48:12.000 --> 48:13.000 I'd be glad to. 48:13.000 --> 48:18.000 Oh, good. Ladies and gentlemen, Robert Merrill is singing Di Provenza from La Appriviata. 48:18.000 --> 48:20.000 Oh, for goodness sake, Olie, wait a minute. 48:20.000 --> 48:22.000 How do I know what picture it's from? 48:22.000 --> 48:25.000 I think it's from Confessions of the Nazi Spy. 48:25.000 --> 48:27.000 Laughter 48:27.000 --> 48:30.000 Quiet, Robert. Sing, you two. 48:30.000 --> 48:32.000 Di Provenza. 48:32.000 --> 48:36.000 Di Provenza. 48:36.000 --> 48:39.000 Quiet, I said, quiet. 48:39.000 --> 48:42.000 You sing, Robert. Don't mind them. 48:42.000 --> 48:44.000 The turners, you know. 48:44.000 --> 48:46.000 Laughter 48:46.000 --> 49:04.000 Music 49:04.000 --> 49:22.000 Di Provenza, al mare il suor, I dol cor di cancello, I dol cor di cancello, Di Provenza, al mare il suor, 49:22.000 --> 49:41.000 All'attio fulgente sol, Qual destino ti purò, Qual destino ti purò, All'attio fulgente sol, 49:41.000 --> 50:09.000 Ora menta pur nel duolo, Vivi gioia che brillò, E che pace con la sol, Su te splendere ancora può, 50:09.000 --> 50:26.000 Dio mi guida, Dio mi guida, Dio mi guido. 50:26.000 --> 50:46.000 Music 50:46.000 --> 50:59.000 Ma il tuo vecchio genitor, Tu non sai quanto soffri, Tu non sai quanto soffri, 50:59.000 --> 51:20.000 Il tuo vecchio genitor, Che lontano, disque allora, Il suo tetto si copri, Il suo tetto si copri, Disque allora, disque allora, 51:20.000 --> 51:38.000 Ma se alfin ti trovo ancora, Se in me speme non falli, E la voce dell'onore, Ti a piedi non amuti, 51:38.000 --> 52:04.000 Ma se alfin ti trovo ancora, Se in me speme non falli, Dio me saudi, Dio me saudi, Dio me saudi. 52:04.000 --> 52:32.000 Dio me saudi, Ma se alfin ti trovo ancora, Ti trovo ancora, Dio me saudi, Dio me saudi. 52:32.000 --> 52:49.000 Music 52:49.000 --> 52:57.000 Bravo! Bravo, Robert Merrill! Oh Bob, that really was divine. What a great voice. 52:57.000 --> 53:02.000 And what heart you put into your singing. I could stand here and listen to you all night. 53:02.000 --> 53:07.000 Do you want me to sing another one? Over my dead body. 53:07.000 --> 53:13.000 After all, darling, I am on this show too. But tell me, Robert, I understand you now have a new hobby. 53:13.000 --> 53:18.000 You collect antique automobiles, don't you? Oh yes, Jimmy Melton started me on this. 53:18.000 --> 53:23.000 I now have 40 antique models. Oh, I love old cars. 53:23.000 --> 53:28.000 What a long way automobiles have come since those early models. 53:28.000 --> 53:33.000 Hey, Tallulah. Yes, Judy, darling, what is it? Oh Bob, you know Judy, it's holiday. 53:33.000 --> 53:38.000 How do you do? How do you do? Hey, Tallulah, can I speak to you a minute privately? 53:38.000 --> 53:41.000 Why, certainly. Excuse me, just a moment. What is it, Judy? What is it? 53:41.000 --> 53:46.000 Why are you talking to him about old cars? Oh, Judy, you don't understand, darling. 53:46.000 --> 53:53.000 Robert Merrow collects antique models. So put in a plug for yourself. 53:53.000 --> 54:04.000 I think that was mean of you and that's an ad lib. 54:04.000 --> 54:15.000 Look, Judy, this is Bob's hobby, old cars. So who is he, Madman Merrow? 54:15.000 --> 54:21.000 Make up your mind. What do you want, an old car or a used husband? 54:21.000 --> 54:27.000 Oh, Judy, Judy, Judy, let's get off that subject. I happen to be interested in cars. I like driving. 54:27.000 --> 54:32.000 So why don't you show a little more interest in parking? 54:32.000 --> 54:38.000 After all, what's so romantic about old cars if you talk to him about singing? 54:38.000 --> 54:43.000 Well, I did talk to him about singing. What do you want me to do, sing something to him? 54:43.000 --> 54:46.000 Why not? You know a beautiful love song? 54:46.000 --> 54:53.000 Well, I know. Give my regards to darling, yeah. 54:53.000 --> 55:01.000 Give my regards to...what are you trying to marry, a fella or an orange juice stand? 55:01.000 --> 55:07.000 Why don't you sing a song like those smart supper club chanteuses sing? 55:07.000 --> 55:19.000 The kind that sings with a beautiful soft music and then breaks all the people's hearts telling how she got did. 55:19.000 --> 55:24.000 Judy, darling, what do you mean? 55:24.000 --> 55:33.000 I'll demonstrate. Thank you. 55:33.000 --> 55:42.000 I can see no matter how near you'll be, you'll never belong to me. 55:42.000 --> 55:47.000 But I can dream, can I? 55:47.000 --> 55:53.000 Can I pretend that I'm locked in the bend of your embrace? 55:53.000 --> 56:04.000 For dreams are just like wine and I am drunk with mine. 56:04.000 --> 56:11.000 Yes, Marvin, my dreams were just like wine and I was drunk with mine. 56:11.000 --> 56:15.000 But what was your excuse, Marvin? 56:15.000 --> 56:27.000 Especially that first night when you took me home and you turned out all the lights because you said you freckle so easy. 56:27.000 --> 56:35.000 There we sat in the dock, you and I and my father. 56:35.000 --> 56:40.000 Three cigars in the dock. 56:40.000 --> 56:48.000 And then, then you started taking me out to all the best places, the best bowling alleys in town you took me to. 56:48.000 --> 56:55.000 How romantic it was, us thumbs touching over a bowling ball. 56:55.000 --> 57:00.000 And all the games you won for me, I let you win, Marvin. 57:00.000 --> 57:06.000 And it wasn't easy, you were such a lousy bowler, Marvin. 57:06.000 --> 57:10.000 And dancing, how you used to love to dance. 57:10.000 --> 57:23.000 The minute we get into the house, you rush over, you turn on the radio, and there we were, Marvin, in each other's arms, dancing to H.V. Cowdenball. 57:23.000 --> 57:38.000 And oh, I'll never forget the first time you proposed to me and the second time when you proposed marriage. 57:38.000 --> 57:45.000 You said, you said, say the word that will make me the happiest man in the world. 57:45.000 --> 57:47.000 And I said, yes. 57:47.000 --> 57:51.000 And you said, that's not the word. 57:51.000 --> 57:56.000 And I said, oh Marvin, don't you know what's in my heart? 57:56.000 --> 58:02.000 And you said, left ventricle, right ventricle, left oracle, right oracle. 58:02.000 --> 58:04.000 That's when I took the hint, Marvin. 58:04.000 --> 58:08.000 You didn't want a wife, you wanted a surgeon. 58:08.000 --> 58:33.000 I can't make you open your heart, but I can dream, can I? 58:33.000 --> 58:36.000 Here's a word from RCA Victor. 58:36.000 --> 58:42.000 It's been said that the entire history of the American people during the past 50 years can be summed up in one sentence. 58:42.000 --> 58:48.000 The automobile took them out of the home and the television set brought them back. 58:48.000 --> 58:52.000 And the set that does most of the bringing back is an RCA Victor. 58:52.000 --> 58:56.000 And that's because RCA Victor television is owned most, proved most. 58:56.000 --> 58:58.000 In fact, it's million proof. 58:58.000 --> 59:04.000 Almost two million families are happily enjoying RCA Victor television in their home today. 59:04.000 --> 59:15.000 If you want to see a set that turns gantabouts into home bodies, look at the new RCA Victor Regency Console, one of the 14 new RCA Victor models for 1951. 59:15.000 --> 59:24.000 It has a great big 17-inch television, clearer and more powerful than ever, framed in a luxurious cabinet of authentic Regency styling. 59:24.000 --> 59:47.000 See the RCA Victor Regency Console and then bring your family happily homeward every day with America's favorite and best-looking television, RCA Victor. 59:47.000 --> 59:58.000 Well, darlings, we still have to hear from Monty Woolley and Judy and Jack Haley and Olsen and Johnson and Robert Merrill will be back in just a moment, along with Uta Hagen and Paul Kelly. 59:58.000 --> 01:00:01.000 But first, we should give our stations a break. 01:00:01.000 --> 01:00:02.000 You're right, Tallulah. 01:00:02.000 --> 01:00:14.000 And I want to say that this portion of the program has been brought to you by Chesterfield, the cigarette that has, for you, mildness, with no unpleasant aftertaste, the best cigarette for you to smoke. 01:00:14.000 --> 01:00:19.000 By the makers of Anisyn, for fast relief from the pain of headache, urethritis, and neuralgia. 01:00:19.000 --> 01:00:26.000 And by RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television. 01:00:26.000 --> 01:00:30.000 And now if you'll ring your charming chimes, Tallulah. 01:00:30.000 --> 01:00:32.000 Thank you, sweet, you're sweet. 01:00:32.000 --> 01:00:42.000 This is NBC, the national broadcasting company. 01:00:42.000 --> 01:00:44.000 This is the Big Show. 01:00:44.000 --> 01:00:47.000 And here is Tallulah with another guest. 01:00:47.000 --> 01:00:59.000 Ladies and gentlemen, what more need I say, Mr. Monty Woolley. 01:00:59.000 --> 01:01:02.000 What sort of an introduction was that? 01:01:02.000 --> 01:01:04.000 Need you say more? 01:01:04.000 --> 01:01:07.000 You certainly need say more. 01:01:07.000 --> 01:01:13.000 And you will say it exactly as I wrote it for you this morning in my fine Spencerian hand. 01:01:13.000 --> 01:01:19.000 Woolley, I warn you, I will not tolerate any of your tempestuous outbursts. 01:01:19.000 --> 01:01:28.000 My dear woman, I have been sitting here for more than an hour trying not to listen to this array of minor buffoons. 01:01:28.000 --> 01:01:35.000 You have somehow managed to assemble here, including the antics of Olsen, Jackson, and Durante. 01:01:35.000 --> 01:01:41.000 And that used car salesman whose hobby is a monstrous catawallie which he calls singing. 01:01:41.000 --> 01:01:46.000 And that Hibernian gentleman who brought over his relatives from Ireland and set them up in Hollywood 01:01:46.000 --> 01:01:54.000 and shattered the swimming pools to say nothing of the whining mulelings of that infantile blonde, Julius Holliday. 01:01:54.000 --> 01:02:00.000 And now you dare to disfress me with a one-line introduction. 01:02:00.000 --> 01:02:05.000 Monty, darling, I won't lose my temper because you've lost yours. 01:02:05.000 --> 01:02:09.000 But you see, this is radio. Every moment counts. 01:02:09.000 --> 01:02:14.000 Are you going to presume to tell me about radio? I have a radio program of my own. 01:02:14.000 --> 01:02:17.000 Really, darling, I didn't know. What sort of program is it? 01:02:17.000 --> 01:02:22.000 Thirty minutes of sparkling adult comedy every week. 01:02:22.000 --> 01:02:26.000 Thirty minutes? 01:02:26.000 --> 01:02:30.000 My darling, my program is ninety minutes. 01:02:30.000 --> 01:02:35.000 Yes, I understand. But if you gathered up a few of your dangling participles 01:02:35.000 --> 01:02:40.000 and mended a few of your split infinitives, you could do this program in thirty minutes. 01:02:40.000 --> 01:02:45.000 And you can find yourself using the single negative instead of the double negative. 01:02:45.000 --> 01:02:56.000 You could do this program down to fifteen minutes, which itself is twice as much talula as anyone should be asked to bear. 01:02:56.000 --> 01:03:04.000 Now just a minute, Buster. Relax. Loosen your beard. 01:03:04.000 --> 01:03:08.000 I was wondering how long it would be before you resorted to that. 01:03:08.000 --> 01:03:11.000 Obviously you would use a barb like that. 01:03:11.000 --> 01:03:15.000 Obviously you could use a barber. 01:03:15.000 --> 01:03:21.000 My problems are tonsorial. Yours are tonsilectomy. 01:03:21.000 --> 01:03:26.000 My dear, you're so good. 01:03:26.000 --> 01:03:32.000 I was just trying to imagine you as a member of that aftershave club. 01:03:32.000 --> 01:03:40.000 I wasn't nominated for membership, but I declined when I heard that you were a member. 01:03:40.000 --> 01:03:46.000 Why, you pale imitation of Gabby Hayes. 01:03:46.000 --> 01:03:51.000 Gabby Hayes? You dare compare an artist of my standard with Gabby Hayes? 01:03:51.000 --> 01:03:57.000 Gabby Hayes is every inchy actor you are, and he rides a horse besides. 01:03:57.000 --> 01:04:02.000 Talula, if you are not familiar with accepted rules of etiquette on how to treat a guest, 01:04:02.000 --> 01:04:06.000 you can at least have a little respect for age. 01:04:06.000 --> 01:04:16.000 Oh, Marty, that's the nicest, sweetest thing that's been said to me on this program. 01:04:16.000 --> 01:04:21.000 I mean your age. 01:04:21.000 --> 01:04:27.000 Now take it easy, Marty. I remember you when you were only a moustache. 01:04:27.000 --> 01:04:32.000 Now, compare me to Gabby Hayes. You forget, woman, that I have seen you in the theater. 01:04:32.000 --> 01:04:33.000 And? 01:04:33.000 --> 01:04:37.000 Well, I suppose you are an actress of sorts. 01:04:37.000 --> 01:04:38.000 Of sorts? 01:04:38.000 --> 01:04:40.000 A stylist, perhaps. 01:04:40.000 --> 01:04:48.000 A stylist? May I remind you that I am renowned for my dramatic reception, my comedy timing. 01:04:48.000 --> 01:04:52.000 Critics everywhere have agreed that my timing is second to none. 01:04:52.000 --> 01:04:57.000 Yes, the timing of the shrew. 01:04:57.000 --> 01:05:05.000 This woman there, whose only claim to fame is that he is known as the male Talula Bankhead. 01:05:05.000 --> 01:05:10.000 Well, that's funny. I always thought you were. 01:05:10.000 --> 01:05:13.000 Oh, darling, you kill me. 01:05:13.000 --> 01:05:15.000 It'll be a pleasure. 01:05:15.000 --> 01:05:21.000 Oli, Oli, why do you keep saying he's not her father? 01:05:21.000 --> 01:05:27.000 I told you, chick, nobody can be that old and still be alive. 01:05:27.000 --> 01:05:30.000 What makes you think he's alive, darlings? 01:05:30.000 --> 01:05:38.000 Well, well, well, whom have we here? Hamacher and slumber? 01:05:38.000 --> 01:05:46.000 Oh, excuse me, Marty, excuse me. These are Olsen and Johnson who have been sitting here trying to think of an act they can do. 01:05:46.000 --> 01:05:48.000 Have you thought of anything yet, boys? 01:05:48.000 --> 01:05:50.000 No, have you? 01:05:50.000 --> 01:05:52.000 What do you mean? 01:05:52.000 --> 01:06:01.000 Well, I noticed you don't have an act either. All you've done is stand up there and insult that nice gray-haired old gentleman. 01:06:01.000 --> 01:06:05.000 The funny part of it, he doesn't have an act either. 01:06:05.000 --> 01:06:15.000 I laugh. Talula, I'll be in my dressing room shaving. If I'm unfortunate, I may cut my throat from ear to ear. 01:06:15.000 --> 01:06:18.000 Oh, Marty, stop losing your head, darling. 01:06:18.000 --> 01:06:21.000 Now look here, Olsen, and you too, Johnson, I do have an act. 01:06:21.000 --> 01:06:31.000 And if Marty will join me, we can do a scene from one of his greatest Broadway and Hollywood successes, George Kaufman and Moss Hart, the man who came for dinner. 01:06:31.000 --> 01:06:34.000 Marty, will you join me, darling? 01:06:34.000 --> 01:06:38.000 Would my contract permit me to say no? 01:06:38.000 --> 01:06:40.000 Well, what's the scene about, Talula? 01:06:40.000 --> 01:06:52.000 Well, if you remember, the man who came to dinner is the story of Sheldon Whiteside, the noted write-in lecturer who breaks his legs as he is about to leave the home of his dinner host and is confined to their home for several hilarious weeks. 01:06:52.000 --> 01:06:58.000 As part of the plot, he calls upon an actual friend of his in London, Lorraine Sheldon, to come to his aid. 01:06:58.000 --> 01:07:06.000 Lorraine is beautiful, chic, worldly, sophisticated, glamorous... 01:07:06.000 --> 01:07:09.000 And unpredictable. 01:07:09.000 --> 01:07:13.000 Which part do you play, Talula? 01:07:13.000 --> 01:07:17.000 She refuses to answer on the grounds that it might incriminate her. 01:07:17.000 --> 01:07:23.000 Now come on, Talula, enough of this asinine mummery. If we're going to do this bit, let's get it over. 01:07:23.000 --> 01:07:26.000 This will show you whether I can act or not. 01:07:26.000 --> 01:07:33.000 I will alter all of you with my talents as an actress and my magnetic personality. 01:07:33.000 --> 01:07:37.000 Yee-gahs double jeopardy. 01:07:37.000 --> 01:07:43.000 Meredith, darling, some man who came to dinner. Music, if you please, sir. 01:07:43.000 --> 01:08:11.000 Music 01:08:11.000 --> 01:08:18.000 You're a tortured face. Ah, let me kiss you, you poor darling. Your eyes have a gallant compassion. 01:08:18.000 --> 01:08:23.000 How drawn you are. Oh, Sherry, my sweet, I want to cry. 01:08:23.000 --> 01:08:28.000 All right, you've made a very nice entrance, my dear. Now relax. 01:08:28.000 --> 01:08:32.000 No, Sherry, darling, I've been so worried and now seeing you in that chair. 01:08:32.000 --> 01:08:36.000 This chair fits my fanny as nothing else ever has. 01:08:36.000 --> 01:08:42.000 I feel better than I have in years and my only concern is the outside world, so take off that skunk beard and tell me all about it. 01:08:42.000 --> 01:08:43.000 How are you, my dear? 01:08:43.000 --> 01:08:47.000 Oh, darling, I'm so relieved that you look perfectly wonderful. I never saw you look better. 01:08:47.000 --> 01:08:51.000 Oh, my dear, do I look correct? I just dashed through New York. 01:08:51.000 --> 01:08:57.000 Didn't do a thing about Christmas. Dropped into the furries, of course, and had my hair done, got right on the train. 01:08:57.000 --> 01:09:03.000 And the Queen Mary coming back was simply hectic. Fun, you know, but something exhausting. 01:09:03.000 --> 01:09:08.000 I mean, Jacques Whitney and Cary Grant and Darned Faso. Fun, you know, but too exhausting, darling. 01:09:08.000 --> 01:09:13.000 Of course, darling, before that was so magnificent, my dear. But I simply never got to bed at all. 01:09:13.000 --> 01:09:16.000 Oh, darling, I'm so much excited. I don't know where to start. 01:09:16.000 --> 01:09:20.000 We'll start with the date first, dear. That's what I want to hear. 01:09:20.000 --> 01:09:25.000 Well, now let me see. Civil Cartwright was thrown right out of Searow's, you know. 01:09:25.000 --> 01:09:29.000 She was wearing one of those new cellophane dresses, you know. 01:09:29.000 --> 01:09:35.000 And Harry Montrose, the painter, is suing his mother for disorderly conduct. 01:09:35.000 --> 01:09:42.000 Well, it just shocked everyone to death. Oh, and before I forget, Anthony Eden told me he's going to be on your New Year's broadcast, Sherry. 01:09:42.000 --> 01:09:48.000 And he said, for heaven's sake, not to introduce him as the English Grover Whelan. 01:09:48.000 --> 01:09:50.000 Oh, and Beatrizilla gave me a message for you. 01:09:50.000 --> 01:09:58.000 She says, for you to take off 25 pounds right away and send them to her by parcel vote. 01:09:58.000 --> 01:10:01.000 She needs them. I'll pack them on ice. 01:10:01.000 --> 01:10:07.000 Now come, dear, what about you? What about your love life, if you'll pardon the expression? 01:10:07.000 --> 01:10:09.000 Sherry, dear, your son knows it. 01:10:09.000 --> 01:10:14.000 What about that splendid bit of English mutton, Lord Bottomley? 01:10:14.000 --> 01:10:17.000 Haven't you hooked him yet? 01:10:17.000 --> 01:10:20.000 Sherry, please, say that he's a dear friend of mine. 01:10:20.000 --> 01:10:24.000 Hello, Blossom Girl, this is Sherry. Don't try to kid me. 01:10:24.000 --> 01:10:30.000 Don't tell me you wouldn't like to be Lady Bottomley with 100,000 pounds a year and 12 castles. 01:10:30.000 --> 01:10:38.000 By the way, has he had his teeth fixed yet? Every time I order a roque-fa-cheese, I think of those teeth. 01:10:38.000 --> 01:10:41.000 Sherry, you really are too nauseating. 01:10:41.000 --> 01:10:44.000 Cedric may be not brilliant, but he's rather sweet for lamb. 01:10:44.000 --> 01:10:48.000 And he really is deeply fond of me, and he does represent a kind of English way of living that I like. 01:10:48.000 --> 01:10:54.000 I mean, Surrey and London, the Seasons, Shooting Bucks and Scotland, that lovely old castle in Wales. 01:10:54.000 --> 01:10:56.000 Well, you were there, Sherry, you know what I mean. 01:10:56.000 --> 01:10:58.000 I do indeed. 01:10:58.000 --> 01:11:03.000 Oh, really, Sherry, why not? I mean, if I marry Cedric, I don't know why I shouldn't. 01:11:03.000 --> 01:11:05.000 Oh, shall I tell you something, Sherry? 01:11:05.000 --> 01:11:11.000 I think, I think from something he said just before I sailed, that he's finally coming around to it. 01:11:11.000 --> 01:11:18.000 Oh, it wasn't definite, mind you, but don't be surprised if I am Lady Butterly for very long. 01:11:18.000 --> 01:11:22.000 Lady Butterly, won't Kansas City be surprised? 01:11:22.000 --> 01:11:26.000 Oh, I shall be a flower girl and give the groom an iron toothpick as a wedding present. 01:11:26.000 --> 01:11:30.000 Come on now, head. Come on, Blossom, let's hear some more of your skullduggery. 01:11:30.000 --> 01:11:34.000 Oh, but Sherry, what about this play after all? I've come all the way from New York, even on Christmas Eve. 01:11:34.000 --> 01:11:38.000 Oh, I've been so excited ever since your phone call. Where is it? I mean, when can I read it? 01:11:38.000 --> 01:11:45.000 Well, here's the situation. This young author, his name is Bert Jampus, brought me to play with the understanding that I said to Kit Cornell. 01:11:45.000 --> 01:11:49.000 Well, it's a magnificent part, and Lord knows I feel disloyal to Kit. 01:11:49.000 --> 01:11:50.000 Oh, Sherry. 01:11:50.000 --> 01:11:56.000 There you are, there you are. Now, I've done this much, the rest is up to you. He's young and attractive. 01:11:56.000 --> 01:11:57.000 Oh, what does that have to do with it? 01:11:57.000 --> 01:12:03.000 Now, just how you go about persuading him, I'm sure you know more about than I do, my dear. 01:12:03.000 --> 01:12:08.000 Darling, how can I ever thank you? Does he know I'm coming? I mean, this beautiful young man. 01:12:08.000 --> 01:12:12.000 No, no, no, no, no, you're just out here visiting me. You'll meet him, and that's that. 01:12:12.000 --> 01:12:16.000 Get in and take you out to dinner and work around to the play. 01:12:16.000 --> 01:12:20.000 Good heavens, I don't have to tell you how to do these things. How'd you get all those other parts? 01:12:20.000 --> 01:12:22.000 Sherry, please! 01:12:22.000 --> 01:12:29.000 Well, I'll go back to the hotel, darling, and get into something more attractive. I just dumped my bag and rushed right over here, darling. Oh, you're wonderful. 01:12:29.000 --> 01:12:38.000 All right, all right, now run along and get into your working clothes, and come right back here and spend Christmas Eve with Sherry, and I'll have that beautiful young man on tap. 01:12:38.000 --> 01:12:43.000 By the way, I've got a little surprise for you. Who do you think's paying me a flying visit tonight? 01:12:43.000 --> 01:12:48.000 None other than your old friend and co-star Beverly Carlton. 01:12:48.000 --> 01:12:55.000 Really? Beverly? I thought he was being glamorous again on a tramp steamer. 01:12:55.000 --> 01:13:00.000 Oh, come, come, dear. It mustn't be bitter just because he got better notices than you did. 01:13:00.000 --> 01:13:05.000 Oh, silly, Sherry, I never read notices. I simply wouldn't care to act with him again, that's all. 01:13:05.000 --> 01:13:08.000 Well, he's not staying here, is he? I said, hope not! 01:13:08.000 --> 01:13:15.000 Temper, temper, temper, now he's gone. Where'd you get that diamond clip, dear? That's a new bit of loot, isn't it? 01:13:15.000 --> 01:13:21.000 Oh, haven't you seen this before? Well, Cedric gave it to me for his mother's birthday. 01:13:21.000 --> 01:13:29.000 And she was simply furious. Oh, look, darling, I've got a taxi outside. If I'm going to get back here, I must fly. 01:13:29.000 --> 01:13:37.000 Well, fly away, Blossom, but don't fly too high. If you drop any of that loot you're carrying, you're up to brain somebody. 01:13:37.000 --> 01:13:54.000 Hey, uh, Cholula? Yes, Jack, darling, what is it? I'd like to take a crack at that man who came to dinner. 01:13:54.000 --> 01:13:59.000 Oh, there he is, darling, take a crack at him. No, I mean, I'd like to act that part in the play. 01:13:59.000 --> 01:14:05.000 Well, go right ahead, Jack. Oh, would you like me to play the part opposite you? Oh, no, I've got a leading lady. 01:14:05.000 --> 01:14:12.000 Oh, really? Who? Me, that's who. Oh, a beauty holiday. Go right ahead, my sweet. Set the scene, Jack. 01:14:12.000 --> 01:14:18.000 Okay, as the curtain rises, we find Sheridan Haley sitting in a wheelchair with his leg in a cast. 01:14:18.000 --> 01:14:24.000 That's the original cast, of course. The door opens and his girlfriend comes to visit him. 01:14:24.000 --> 01:14:49.000 Hello, Sheridan. How's your leg feeling? I'm sorry, I broke it. 01:14:49.000 --> 01:14:57.000 Oh, it's coming along all right. How's your neck feeling? I'm sorry, I broke it. Oh, it's still broken. 01:14:57.000 --> 01:15:04.000 And you know? It's broken. I'm all broken up over you. Well, it's your own fault, Sheridan. 01:15:04.000 --> 01:15:13.000 You should have kept your hands to yourself. Didn't you hear me say stop? I thought you were talking to the taxi driver. 01:15:13.000 --> 01:15:19.000 What have you got in the package? I've grown you some fruit, half a banana. Gee, thanks. 01:15:19.000 --> 01:15:25.000 Well, what's the dirt? That's what I want to hear. Well, I just dashed up here to the Bronx from Flatbush 01:15:25.000 --> 01:15:34.000 and the crowd was simply exhausting. All those men pushing and mauling. It's fun, you know, but exhausting. 01:15:34.000 --> 01:15:41.000 And who should duck under the same train star with me but Jake Whitney? Fun, but exhausting. 01:15:41.000 --> 01:15:49.000 And next Saturday night he's taking me to Calootsie's for some ravioli. Or is it ravioli for some calootsie? 01:15:49.000 --> 01:15:54.000 That sounds like it might be exhausting. It was fun. Have another banana. Thanks. 01:15:54.000 --> 01:15:58.000 I don't like you running around with other fellas while I'm sitting here with a broken leg. 01:15:58.000 --> 01:16:03.000 Well, what do you expect me to do? Just because you've got a broken leg, should I sit around the hot house broken? 01:16:03.000 --> 01:16:13.000 I mean, heart broken? Really Sharon, you fractured me. 01:16:13.000 --> 01:16:20.000 Well, you fractured me first. Besides, we're engaged. I'm breaking the engagement. 01:16:20.000 --> 01:16:26.000 Well, you broke everything else. Have you got another fellow? Oh, I've got my choices to me. 01:16:26.000 --> 01:16:33.000 The butch skill is Tiger Collins and Lord Bottomley. Lord Bottomley? Yeah, Lord Bottomley. 01:16:33.000 --> 01:16:39.000 He pounds me 250 pounds the day we get married. He's holding out on you. He weighs 290. 01:16:39.000 --> 01:16:46.000 He's a rich millionaire. All he does is sit around and clip coupons. Sure, he wants to get an encyclopedia. 01:16:46.000 --> 01:16:52.000 I don't know why you won't wait for me. We'd be very happy. We'd get married, buy a house, settle down, 01:16:52.000 --> 01:16:57.000 and have five or six children. And if that doesn't work out, we'll try something else. 01:16:57.000 --> 01:17:08.000 It sounds like fun, but exhausting. I couldn't marry you, Sharon, because Lord Bottomley represents a foppish way of life. 01:17:08.000 --> 01:17:17.000 A townhouse on Ocean Avenue, a summer season at Far Rocker Way, the pictures box in Epic Fields for the shootings, 01:17:17.000 --> 01:17:27.000 and that lovely old white castle for hamburgers. But how about me? But Sharon, you're all broken up. 01:17:27.000 --> 01:17:35.000 And Pops is so hard to get these days. Yeah, well, I'm getting up and getting out of here right now. 01:17:35.000 --> 01:17:44.000 Sharon, be careful. Watch out for that banana peel. Sharon! Oh, I broke my other leg. 01:17:44.000 --> 01:17:51.000 Hey, Oli, here's a chance to do our act. There's an actor with two broken legs. Well, what are we waiting for? 01:17:51.000 --> 01:17:55.000 You fooled, not me, him! 01:17:55.000 --> 01:18:08.000 Music 01:18:08.000 --> 01:18:15.000 Well, darlings, this just about brings us to our good night. Night, Tallulah. Oh, Bob Merrill. 01:18:15.000 --> 01:18:21.000 Thanks so much for dropping in, sweetie. You're really divine. Oh, by the way, Bob, if you're dining alone tonight, 01:18:21.000 --> 01:18:28.000 I just don't happen to have anyone that I... Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Tallulah, but I do have a previous dinner date I made about three months ago. 01:18:28.000 --> 01:18:36.000 Three months? How previous can you get? Well, good night, Bob. Oh, Jack, Jack Haley. Good night, Tallulah. 01:18:36.000 --> 01:18:42.000 Oh, Jack, darling, it's been so nice. Are you having dinner anywhere particularly? I just happen to be alone. 01:18:42.000 --> 01:18:48.000 No, I'm just going back to my hotel room and have something light. You see, I'm on a bland diet. Sorry. 01:18:48.000 --> 01:18:55.000 A bland diet, yeah. Well, good night, Jack. Good night, Tallulah. Oh, good night, Jack. And you too, Oli. 01:18:55.000 --> 01:19:01.000 Oh, it was fun, wasn't it, fellas? Shall the three of us go out and celebrate? Well, we have a date, Tallulah. 01:19:01.000 --> 01:19:10.000 And here she is, Uta Hagan. Oh, Uta, you look charming, my sweet. I haven't seen you since you and Paul Kelly appeared in our first act. 01:19:10.000 --> 01:19:17.000 Going out with the boys now? Yes. Why don't you come along, Tallulah? I think with these two wild men, I'll need a chaperone. 01:19:17.000 --> 01:19:24.000 Chaperone, indeed. Good night, darling. Oh, that's Paul Kelly. Paul, if you wait a moment, I'll go along with you. 01:19:24.000 --> 01:19:30.000 I don't think you're better, Tallulah. I'm going over to the Luxor Bath. 01:19:30.000 --> 01:19:36.000 Good night, Paul. Go ahead, Tallulah. There's one more. 01:19:36.000 --> 01:19:48.000 I know, Judy, but oh well, what can I do? Monty Woolly. What are you doing for tonight, for dinner? Eating. 01:19:48.000 --> 01:19:55.000 And I want to ask Judy if she'll eat with me. Come, child. Your English is atrocious. Maybe I can help you. 01:19:55.000 --> 01:20:05.000 You will be my galatea, and I will be your pigmalian. Okay, piggy, let's go. 01:20:05.000 --> 01:20:12.000 Well, I never knew I could empty a theater that quickly. I'm just doing great. 01:20:12.000 --> 01:20:22.000 Well, how glamorous can you be? I'll get even with them all. I won't eat in the dinner. Nobody seems to want me. 01:20:22.000 --> 01:20:28.000 Oh, Tallulah, don't say that. Oh, well, darling, my big show chorus. 01:20:28.000 --> 01:20:41.000 All the men who run the hundred and eighty NBC stations want you. They've just voted you and this program the most progressive step in radio in many a year. 01:20:41.000 --> 01:20:49.000 Really, darling? And as for us, Tallulah. What? 01:20:49.000 --> 01:21:14.000 My darling, my darling, I've wanted to call you my darling for many and many a day. 01:21:14.000 --> 01:21:31.000 My darling, my darling, I flattered and fled like a starling. 01:21:31.000 --> 01:21:45.000 My courage just melted away. 01:21:45.000 --> 01:21:59.000 Now all at once you kissed me, and there's not a thing I'm saying enough to say. 01:21:59.000 --> 01:22:16.000 There's nothing to say except, my darling, my darling, 01:22:16.000 --> 01:22:36.000 Get used to the name of my darling, get used to the name of my darling, get used to the name of my darling, get here to stay. 01:22:46.000 --> 01:22:49.000 Thank you, my darling. 01:22:49.000 --> 01:22:54.000 Well, next Sunday, we have another Star-studded list of guests, 01:22:54.000 --> 01:23:05.000 including Fred Allen, Clive Brooke, Portland Hoffer, Frankie Lane, Ethel Merman, Herb Schreiner, Margaret Truman, and others. 01:23:05.000 --> 01:23:10.000 And of course, our very own Meredith Wilson and the Big Show Occupant Chorus. 01:23:10.000 --> 01:23:12.000 And until then... 01:23:12.000 --> 01:23:18.000 May the good Lord bless and keep you. 01:23:18.000 --> 01:23:24.000 By the near or far away, Judy? 01:23:24.000 --> 01:23:35.000 May you find that long-awaited golden day today, Paul. 01:23:35.000 --> 01:23:47.000 May your troubles all be small ones, and your future ten times ten. 01:23:47.000 --> 01:23:49.000 Jake and Ollie? 01:23:49.000 --> 01:24:00.000 May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again. 01:24:00.000 --> 01:24:01.000 Meredith? 01:24:01.000 --> 01:24:11.000 May you walk with sunlight shining, and a bluebird in every tree. 01:24:11.000 --> 01:24:13.000 Jack? 01:24:13.000 --> 01:24:23.000 May there be a silver lining back of every cloud you see. 01:24:23.000 --> 01:24:25.000 Monty? 01:24:25.000 --> 01:24:35.000 Fill your dreams with sweet tomorrows, never mind what to might have been. 01:24:35.000 --> 01:24:36.000 Uta? 01:24:36.000 --> 01:24:47.000 May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again. 01:24:47.000 --> 01:24:49.000 Bob? 01:24:49.000 --> 01:25:02.000 May you long recall each rainbow, then you'll soon forget the rain. 01:25:02.000 --> 01:25:15.000 May the warm and tender memories be the ones that will remain. 01:25:15.000 --> 01:25:30.000 Fill your dreams with sweet tomorrows, never mind what might have been. 01:25:30.000 --> 01:25:42.000 May the good Lord bless and keep you until we meet again. 01:25:42.000 --> 01:26:07.000 May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet, till we meet again. 01:26:07.000 --> 01:26:16.000 Again. 01:26:16.000 --> 01:26:37.000 Good night, darlings, and Godspeed to our armed forces who hear these broadcasts each week all over the world. 01:26:37.000 --> 01:26:48.000 Listen to The Big Show next Sunday at this time when our guests will be Fred Allen, Clive Brooke, Portland Hopper, Frankie Lane, Ethel Merman, Herb Schreiner, Margaret Truman and others, 01:26:48.000 --> 01:26:55.000 Meredith Wilson and The Big Show Orchestra and Chorus, and of course every week your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable Tallulah Bankhead. 01:26:55.000 --> 01:27:04.000 The Big Show is produced and directed by T. Engelbach and written by Goodman Ace, Selma Diamond, George Foster, Mort Green, and Frank Wilson. 01:27:04.000 --> 01:27:25.000 This is Ed Hurley, he's speaking. 01:27:25.000 --> 01:27:39.000 And we're going up to Harris, head and joy head of Hopper Show on NBC.