You're about to be entertained by some of the biggest names in show business for the next hour and 30 minutes this program will present
in person such bright stars as Fred Allen
five-brook
Portland Hoffa Frankie Lane Ethel Merman Margaret Phillips Hugh Riley Herb Shriner Margaret Truman Meredith Wilson
And my name darlings, it's Lula Bankett
The National Broadcasting Company presents The Big Show
The Big Show, 90 minutes with the most scintillating personalities in the entertainment world
brought to you this Sunday and every Sunday at the same time as the Sunday feature of NBC's All Star Festival
and here is your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable, the Lula Bankett
The National Broadcasting Company presents The Big Show
Well darlings, this week one of our guests is a very unusual young lady
She was on The Big Show once before and I was quite nervous about it
but now that I know her I am completely calm
I am determined to take this whole thing in my stride
My name is not Lula Bankett
or whatever my name is, it escapes me for the moment
After all I think of our guest as a fine singer, a charming personality and a gracious young lady
Say, you don't have to put the dog on for me, Salou
Oh not you Ethel Merman, darling
Applause
Ethel my sweet, I wasn't talking about you, I was referring to another singer on this program, Margaret Truman
Well, leave us not forget that I too am a singer
Ethel, I am not forgetting, it just so happens that Margaret is a personable young woman
Yes, I vote for that
A very warm and regular girl
I vote for that too
And her father is President of the United States
Leave us not forget that I too am a singer
Laughter
Well darling, you just keep on reminding us will you
Besides, we sing different kinds of songs
Margaret sings classical stuff and I sing popular
She's famous for long hair music and I'm famous for pop
Laughter
Well I won't even answer that one
I'm surprised at you Salou for being this nervous
Haven't you ever met the daughter of a President before?
Yes, I did meet one
Well I hope you weren't this nervous with Miss McKinley
Laughter
Ethel, that's the way you talked to me a few months ago on your first appearance on this show
I was hoping you'd be a little more pleasant on this, your second and last appearance
Alright Salou, no more knocking
Very well, no more knocking
And I'll start off by saying I like your dress very much
Now what do you mean by that crack?
Laughter
Nothing, I just said I like your dress
Ethel, my pet, I've known you long enough to know that when you say you like my dress you're hiding something
That's more than your dress does
Laughter
Now just a minute, now just a minute and no not Ethel
In the first place I have nothing to hide
You said it, I didn't
Laughter
Ethel darling, this is really getting embarrassing
I mean Miss Margaret Truman on the program and you and I acting like this, what does she think?
Now let's be friendly, how's your play doing?
Annie gets your gun
Laughter
Salou, that was a couple of years ago
Oh I'm so sorry darling
Laughter
But you'll find something
Laughter
I did find something, call me madam
Oh of course, how stupid of me, I was thinking of Annie gets your gun because I just saw the movie they made out of it you know
And darling you won't believe it but I sat all through the picture and you're not in it
Laughter
No kidding
No really, for a while I thought I saw you in it but then when the credits came on at the end of the picture it wasn't you at all
It was Louis Calhurn
Laughter
Well tell me darling, how's your call me madam doing?
Oh selling out every performance, even standing rooms
Oh I'm so happy for you dear, you know I haven't seen the play yet, is there any chance of
Well there are no seats to be had at all Saloula but I can speak to our company manager and he can stand you in the back of the theater
Laughter
Darling nobody can stand Saloula Bankhead
Laughter
You said it, I didn't
Laughter
What I mean is that surely you can find a pair of seats for me somewhere, but I mean I got you a pair of tickets for this show tonight
And we fill 3500 seats in the theater every Sunday, so how many does yours sit at home?
Oh we hold only about 1700
1700, why darling, I fill twice as many seats as you do
You said it, I said
Laughter
Well you must remember Saloula, I fill the theater six times a week and two matinees, people come from all over to hear me sing
Well people come to hear me sing two festivals, since you were lost on this program I've been singing quite a bit
Well maybe, but I have a larger repertoire than you have
You said it, I didn't
Laughter
Oh I mean songs
Oh I don't know
No, okay, well we'll see about that
Blow, Gabriel, blow, come on and blow, Gabriel, blow
Give my regards to Broadway, remember me to Harold Square
I got rhythm, I got music, I got my man who could ask for anything more
I'll be singing all the old familiar things
Folks are dumb where I come from, they ain't had any learning
Still they're happy as can be, you know it comes naturally
Give my regards to Broadway
In olden days a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking
Now heaven knows, anything goes
Give my regards to Broadway
Applause
Good evening, Sir Lula
Oh, Fred Allen
Applause
Fred, I'm awfully glad you dropped in on the show tonight
You know Margaret Truman is with us again
Yes, I know, Sir Lula, she's on the show for the second time
Uh huh
This will give me a chance to say goodbye to her
Goodbye, why darling?
You expect to have her on as often as you'd like to come
Well that's, I'm afraid that's not going to be possible to Lula
You know now that they have ratified the 22nd Amendment
Margaret can only come back, can't come back more than twice
I almost fixed it so she didn't come back at all
What's new darling in, with your career?
You are using the word loosely
Well, since it has become apparent about my career
Since it has become apparent that I know nothing about radio or television
I have had several offers to become a critic
Oh Fred, I hope you'll give our show a good notice
Oh, I'm going to do better than that, Salou
As it is the custom now among the critics
I am going to present this show with an award
Now all of the shows in radio or television are getting awards
Most of them for courage
But we haven't gotten anything on this show
Well I am here to remedy that omission
I have brought along a small framed citation
And before presenting it to you, I should like to read the inscription
Ah, please do darling
To the A&P Gypsies
Oh wait a minute, wait a minute
That, that should be crossed out here
And the name of your show written in
Well I can do that Fred
Good
To the big show for the best hour and a half program on radio
But darling, we're the only hour and a half program on radio
Well that's the idea
That's why you are getting this citation for endurance
Shall I continue?
Yes, read on
This citation is awarded to Miss Kalula Brockman-Bankhead
Who has become the most
Oh well
The most what?
Well that's all the room we had Kalula
We couldn't, we couldn't get any more lines on the citation
It's very small in the framing
Well darling, isn't there room on the back of it for a few lines?
Oh well, no you wouldn't want any lines on the back of it
I would so
Let me see that citation
Why Fred, the back of it is just a mirror
That's right, a mirror
I told you you wouldn't want any lines there, would you Kalula?
No darling, that's very sweet of you
That's the nicest thing anybody said to me on this program
I think I'm going to cry
Oh don't cry Miss Bankhead
Meredith Wilson
Meredith darling, I'm so touched by this tribute Fred Allen just paid me
And you could help a lot with one of your fine bouncy tunes right now
I'd be glad to
What will you play?
Well sir, Miss Bankhead, as long as Fred has given you a citation
The Big Show Orchestra and Chorus would like to dedicate this next number to you
Oh well, this must be my day, thank you darling
We want to dedicate it to you because it's a 40 year old number and it's being revised
Well thanks, I think
Play it Buster
Okay, it's called Abba Dabba Honeymoon
And the big chandelier one night or two
He married them and married soon
They ran upon their Abba Dabba Honeymoon
Dear jungle friends, we're gathered here
Abba Dabba Dabba Dabba Dabba Dabby
To unite you friends we all hold dear
Abba Dabba Dabba Dabba Dabba Dabby
Do you miss him? Thanks Mr. Munch
Please share your bread, share your fun
And never go to pieces son
Dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba I do, I do, I do.
Mr. Monk, you take mad jim and promise to keep her in right script even when she's like a blimp.
I do, I do, I do.
You can now grow now to monk and wife and when you both are happy life and wedding-married
quantity, hanging from your family too.
Dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba Dance with the jimsy to the monk.
Dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba Dance with the monkey to the jim.
All night long they調 away.
All day long, every day.
Sweaming and beaming in a hockey wavy way.
Tapit-t contacted Mundt he taking the
Ladies and gentlemen, we are happy to welcome to the big show three distinguished players
currently starred in the late Philip Barrett's play at the Morosco Theatre, Mr. Clive Brooke,
Ms. Margaret Phillips, and Mr. Hugh Riley.
We hear a scene from Philip Barrett's Second Threshold as revised by Robert E. Sherwood.
Mr. Barrett's Second Threshold is the story of a man, Sir.
Bolson, who has carved himself a distinguished career in law and in service to his country.
He has arrived at the point where he has accomplished most of what he set out to do, but now he
finds these achievements meaning his ambitions futile.
He wonders, well, here I am, but where am I?
Where do I go from here?
This feeling has become so strong that he has lost all interest in living itself.
Even contemplates taking his own life.
The fact that his daughter, Miranda, is about to sail for England to contract a loveless
marriage with a man twice her age adds to the desire to spare.
It is in this state of mind that Miranda finds him on the eve of her departure.
You remember that night in Washington, Father, when you wrote out your resignation to the
President?
I remember it well.
Quite an eloquent document, if I may say so.
I stormed and railed at you for being a quitter, but I certainly didn't know how completely
you had quit.
I didn't know that you were resigning from the obligation to live.
Maybe it's a little like, oh, I don't know, casting off from all you've had and taking
your bearings from new stars you can cast this in.
Does that sound too romantic?
It sounds lonely.
Lonely.
No, I don't know.
I expect there are compensations.
Whistle in the dark enough and sometime you may hear an answering one.
Pleasant weather down there.
Good.
Who's that?
I didn't hear him.
A vision.
An apparition.
Quite an eloquent document.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Quite an intelligent one.
It's usually around here somewhere.
I talked to it often.
Father.
Yes, daughter.
Father, I can't have been the same again.
The same as what?
As when we worked together, when we were close to each other.
Miranda, I would remind you of a passage in the Bible.
It's one of the most beautiful and also one of the bitterest.
I never heard you quote a passage from the Bible in all my life.
If the salt has lost its flavor, then it is the salt of the world.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
And I don't know.
And I don't know.
And I don't know.
a young doctor and lifelong friend of the Bolton who was in love with Miranda and who
was also seeking on his own initiative to bring matters to a head.
The sour Bolton is forced by realization of his life's utility into bitter self-revelation.
Have a look at me, ladies and gentlemen.
A man who from his youth was bitten and consumed by the desire to get on.
Once he left, he never went back.
The town he was born in, the schools he attended, the college that graduated him, desperately
afraid of all human relationships, of his own and others' emotions, he finally scarred
them all.
Fearful, of course, that they might take from him something of himself.
Vanity, vanity, that's the preacher.
It's not true, you're the merchant.
If you please, madam, no heckling in the court.
No one was allowed any part of this individual but what he chose to give them, never more
than his thoughts and words.
Tangy and pungent at times, perhaps, but still dried-herring, he thought and eventually established
complete residence in the realms of the mind.
His only exchange with others, rigidly intellectual, except perhaps in the case of his daughter.
But that only when she was quite young.
Later, he deliberately allowed her to identify herself with him, fostered this relationship,
until they became almost as one.
So they stopped it all.
Then, when the cruel, inevitable necessity came to break the bond, he stupidly wondered
at the fact that from the vacuum in which he left her, she went on to another, perhaps
less benevolent, desperate, and quite a swar of ruthless and cynical as he.
And two years older.
It's not so, it's not that great at all.
And then, happily it is, if Josiah Bolton had not been in the life where he was, there
would have been no Matthew Aswad or anything like him now.
No, no.
But there it was.
So when he finally cut off everyone around him and at last stood alone, as he thought
he'd always wished to, he imagined what, he found himself lonely with the bleak, cold,
crushing loneliness of the truly prideful one.
The simple capacity for friendship gone.
The human capacity for affection, and finally even the grim capacity for self satisfaction.
And serve him right.
I tell you I won't have it then.
Why not?
Not the world or his time's a blame for it, mind you.
Himself and himself only arrived at last, himself destroyed and his daughter set by him firmly
on the path to the same end.
A fine crowning achievement to a life long struggle.
What do you say?
I say let him rot!
Go on, clear out now both of you.
Leave me alone.
No we'll not, we'll never.
Don't be fearful any more, daughter.
Something else goes in the process.
Courage.
I'm likely to hang on for years.
So while we're facing it squarely at last, let's agree that we are a mistake, ma'am,
shall we, and the accident's purely accidental.
What do you say?
All willing?
No, no.
You're handing me some dirty old world to pull over my own eyes so that I'll stop seeing
what's plain as day and I'll tell you, go on father dear.
Go on out to Arizona and have another try.
Try?
Answer me this, father, for the love of God.
Who is it but yourself that you want to hurt?
Nobody.
You can believe that.
Then on whose doorstep do you plan to leave the body?
That question's irrelevant.
Inadvisible.
It's imaginary.
It's a button, that's where it is.
Maybe you thought you were kidding when you talked about a second threshold.
Maybe there is one, leading into life, not death.
Maybe you haven't the guts to step across.
How dare you talk to my father that way.
He isn't afraid of innocence.
Everyone close to him has let him down and then life's piled up on him to a point where
it's insupportable.
Father, you can do what you like with your life if all yours.
But I'm telling you now, you do that with it and I do the same with mine and straight
off and that's a promise.
That's not what I'm saying.
Believe me, it's a promise.
Manny, let's hear no more of that.
I wouldn't want to at all because of all the awful things about and all the scrapes I get
into.
I love living, I love it.
You know, father, father, only you would again because I love you too.
And I'm so crazy about Toby that I don't know where I'm at.
What did I say?
All the same I do it.
I would, I would, I promise, promise, promise you'll meet.
I hear you.
Then what do you have to say?
What do you want me to do?
What was I asking you?
Begging you.
Get yourself well.
I'll do anything.
Anything you wish.
What do you mean, lady, is that the truth?
For as far as I can see, I mean it.
And what you said about Toby, do you mean that too?
Yes, yes, I guess so.
I guess I'm not responsible for my emotions these days.
Then what are you going to do about it?
I don't know.
Yes, yes I do.
I'm going to sail for England tonight.
Toby, you realize you must bet that I have to go over and explain it myself to Matthew.
There's no telegram, letters, telephones, you do realize.
Being you, yes, but I'd like to see you off.
I'll get a taxi.
Oh, may I come back later, sir?
Yes, of course, I'll be on.
No sentiment between us.
Never was any.
So I can say something, can't I?
If you want to.
I'm sad about what's happened today.
Because you discovered I'm not such a brain after all.
I'm just plain dumb.
No.
I discovered that my daughter doesn't want her father to die.
Now get the devil out of here.
Go on.
Don't keep the cunard line waiting.
Well, they've gone.
Yes, I hear you, old friend.
But I have to tell you that I am not interested.
So go away.
I don't want to around here.
Go away.
Beat it.
Get out.
I'm being harassed.
You should be done Clive Brooke, Margaret Phillips and you, Raleigh.
Margaret Phillips, I want to chat with you first.
Darling, you are one of the best of all us young actresses around today.
Now let me see you insult me after that.
Why, Saloon, I wouldn't dream of insulting you.
Ah, you're sweet.
I think you're just right for that part you play in Second Threshold.
Of course, if I'd played the part, I would have given it more depth and understanding,
you'll be.
Can't you just seem in that part, my dear?
Oh, yes.
The Looner Bankhead in Second Childhood.
Why, does everybody on this program think they have to?
Oh, well.
You, you, Raleigh, come here, darling.
Now don't you start anything.
This is a bad day.
Everybody wants to make trouble for me.
Well, it looks like the cards are just...
May I return the compliment and say that you are too?
Well, thank you, darling.
What are you doing after shows?
What do you have in mind, Tallulah?
Oh, I thought we were playing cards.
We'll talk about it later.
Clive Brooks.
Oh, it's been such a very long time since you've been in our country.
Yes, I made a picture with you, Tallulah.
You remember Tarnished Lady, that was 15 years ago.
I went back to England right after that.
Coward.
Now you're back starring on Broadway.
The play is highly exciting.
That scene you gave us in, from the end of the play.
Now, how did the play begin?
Well, as the curtain rises, Margaret Phillips, who plays my daughter, is talking to the young
doctor, and she tells him she's going to England to get married.
And then Ethel Merman sings, You're Not Sick, You're in Love.
And after that, I make my entrance.
And now, just a moment, Clive.
You say in your play, Ethel Merman sings.
Well, it's not exactly in our play, you see.
We're at the Marasca Theatre, and Miss Merman's at the Imperial Block away, and you know Ethel's voice.
Yes, I do indeed.
Well, I'm glad somebody knows my voice.
When do I get to sing my song on this program?
Ethel, darling, I've explained to you that Margaret Truman is on our program, and she is also a singer.
Now, we must wait till we all meet her.
Well, let's meet her.
You'll all meet in a few moments.
Oh, and Fred, how about you?
Don't you want to see Margaret Truman again?
I certainly do.
I have this envelope here I want to give her.
Oh, really? What's in it?
My taxes.
Maybe, maybe I can save her a little by cutting out the middle man.
The Bells of the Hill are Ringing
This Easter time, the bells of the hill are ringing, ringing once again.
There's a smile on the face of this angel's world that meets this day again.
This Easter time, the fires are very naughty, naughty to a throw.
Why, the folks, what we've been dancing in so long ago.
And there's a basket on the dining room table with bended leaves, each dragged along.
And there's a lily in all its glory, and in the heart.
You've been listening to It's Easter Time, played by Meredith Wilson.
In a moment we will meet Miss Truman.
But first I want to ring my time. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.
The Big Show
The Big Show. This is the national broadcasting company, Sunday Extravaganza,
with the most scintillating personalities in show business.
The Big Show, the Sunday night feature of NBC's All-Star Festival,
is brought to you by the makers of Aniston,
for fast relief from the pain of headache, urethra, and uralgia.
By RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television.
And by Chess Review, the cigarette that has for you what every smoker wants,
mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste.
The cigarettes that bring you Bing Crosby and Bob Hope.
The big stars in this program are Fred Allen, Clive Brooks,
Gortman Hopper, Frankie Lane, Edsel Merman, Herb Schreiner,
Margaret Truman, Meredith Wilson, and the Big Show Orchestra in Corinth.
And every week, your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable, the Lula Bankhead.
Well, darlings, we are about to present a young lady from Independence, Missouri,
Washington, D.C., and the cover of last week's Time Magazine.
Now, Margaret Truman is a bright, talented, lovely girl,
and I didn't begrudge her being on the cover of Time.
Well, I enjoyed reading the articles about her,
but the first they made about her having just become 27 years old.
Well, nobody paid that much attention to me, and I was 27 for years.
Well, in any case, ladies and gentlemen, may I present Miss Margaret Truman.
Hello to Lula.
Well, Margaret, darling, I presented you as simply and unpretentiously as you asked me to.
But I still think you're wrong, you know.
This is such a large theater.
You could have had such an impressive entrance with the big orchestral fanfare
and you riding on top of an elephant.
Are you kidding, Lula? Me on an elephant?
Oh, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking.
I would make a mistake like that. I feel like a jackass.
That's more like it.
Margaret, I was just talking about that story in Time Magazine.
It had a lot of warm personal touches that I loved.
For instance, that one episode in your life when you were at school
and you had picked up the habit of calling everybody dearie.
That was a true story, but I was finally cured of the habit.
Yes, the story said your father fined you 10 cents every time you used the word dearie.
Yes, and I was completely cured when it cost me 40 cents in one evening at the dinner table.
That 10-cent fine really works. You should try it, darling.
Try what, darling?
Try breaking yourself of the habit.
Of what habit, darling?
Don't you know?
I don't know what you're talking about, darling.
You used three of them in a row. That would cost you 30 cents.
30 cents for what, darling?
That's 40 cents.
40 cents, darling. I'm talking about you, darling.
The time you were fined 40 cents for saying dearie, darling.
They began introducing you cactus with you rather early, didn't they, darling?
If they'd started with you, darling, we'd have a national surplus today, darling.
Isn't she sweet?
As senior making money, Margaret, the article in Times said you're cleaning up with concerts, radio, and television appearances, RCA records.
By Margaret, you'll be making more money than a President of the United States.
Well, a vocalist always makes more money than the accompanist.
Well, darling, Margaret, what's new in the romance department?
Oh, I haven't time for that now, Tallulah. My career takes up all my time.
I know, but you should have a number of men to choose from.
Because after all, darling, you're charming, festival, attractive, and besides, Margaret, who wouldn't want to marry you?
After all, you are working.
So how come you're still single?
Now look here, Judy Holliday.
Well, after all, Tallulah, let's face it. Why aren't you thinking of marriage?
You're personable, attractive, charming, but after all, you're not getting any richer.
Well, this month is March the 15th, isn't it, darling? Who is?
So let's take in a little money now, shall we?
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Well, Margie, what were we saying?
I don't remember, but I would like to say that I'm glad you invited me to be on your show this week.
Ah, Margie, you are sweet.
I can't tell you what a thrill it is to be on a program with a star of such great magnitude.
Ah, Margie, you're sweet.
You know I've always admired Ethel Merman.
Oh, you like Ethel Merman.
Of course, don't you?
Oh, yes, especially, she's simply superb.
Well, aren't you friendly with her?
Well, yes, I thought you could call her friend in a manner of not speaking.
I thought you and Ethel were very close.
She's one of your friends who always says the nicest things about you.
Yes, those are the worst kind, darling.
Well, I like her very much.
You do, huh?
Well, it's all right with me, Margie, don't they?
Only what?
Well, you see, she's a painter and you're a painter, and Ethel told me before the show that she feels it's more important to sing later in the show, and she prefers you to sing first.
Oh, is that all?
Well, Tallulah, it doesn't matter to me who sings first, just so it's Ethel.
Well, you see, that's the problem I'm having this week.
Well, say, Tallulah, perhaps I can help solve your problem.
Oh, very good, darling.
Come here, Margaret, you remember Fred Allen.
Of course, hello, Fred.
Well, how do you do, Margaret?
It's so nice to see you again.
How is everybody at home?
Oh, they're away on a short vacation down in Key West.
Oh, that's nice.
And how is the good old Veep?
I think he's away, too.
Really? And you're spending most of your time here in New York?
That's right, Fred.
Well, who's minding the store?
Fred, wasn't that something you wanted to ask Margaret to do for you? That envelope you wanted to have?
Oh, yes, the envelope. Here it is. Margaret, would you get back home to Washington? I wonder if you'd mind dropping this off at the Bureau of Internal Revenue?
What is it? Is it your income tax?
No, it's my income. I can't afford the tax.
And by the way, I'd appreciate it if you'd explain to the man there about a little item they may question here on my tax.
I've listed $42,552.20 under entertainment. That's when I was doing my television show.
Well, was it really entertainment?
Well, Margaret, that's another question.
Well, television is still in its infancy, isn't it, Fred?
No, it was in its infancy about two years ago. But it's grown up now and has reached the walking stage. More people are getting up and walking away from it.
Fred, can we get back to our original subject, darling? You said something about solving my problem. Now, having to sing it like Ethel Merman and Margaret Truman on the show.
Oh, yes. Well, from what I heard, neither Ethel nor Margaret wants to sing first. Well, I have a young lady here who will sing first. She's waiting off stage here now. And with a little persuasion, I can keep her off stage.
Mr. Allen.
Too late.
Portland, how about it?
Portland, have you met Margaret?
Portland, this is the Margaret, the daughter of, you know who.
Oh, I'm pleased to meet you, Your Highness. And how is your sister?
Hello, Portland. In the first place, don't call me Your Highness. In the second place, I have no sister.
Well, doesn't Princess Margaret have a sister named Elizabeth? And she has a son named Charles. Aren't you Charlie's aunt?
Darling, you're thinking of Ray Bolger.
Ray Bolger is her sister?
Portland, this is Margaret Truman.
Oh, Margaret Truman, the singer.
That's right, Portland.
Oh, I've enjoyed your singing many times, and I've always wanted to meet you. Mama said if I ever met you, to find out all about you. Where you come from, who your folks are, how you got started, and if anybody in your family was ever in show business.
No, I'm the only one in show business.
Really? How does it feel to be the first one in your family to become famous?
Fred, can't you do something about this? What about this song you said you were going to sing?
Well, I guess the only way to keep Portland quiet is to let her sing. Portland, are you ready to sing?
Now?
Yes, portrait, now. We want somebody to sing and break the ice.
Well, this will break something. You better take off your glasses, Tallulah, and put them away. Hide them someplace. Portland, okay, Portland, you see, I have my banjo on my knee. It plays underwater. I have a small pontoon on it underneath. Shall we try it?
What are you going to play, Fred?
Well, I am going to play by a request, really a request. The party since died, but in his will. I am going to play an old song, Sweet Marie, on my banjo. And Portland will sing a reasonable facsimile of it.
Now, this may be a momentous evening. This may be the end of radio and the end of all music as we know it today.
I've a secret in my heart, Sweet Marie. It's a tale I would in part love to be.
Every day the imbecile knows my secret, knows it well. Still I do not dare to tell, Sweet Marie.
Come to me, Sweet Marie, Sweet Marie, come to me. Not before your face is fair, love, you see.
But your soul so pure and sweet, makes my happiness complete. Makes me fall her at your feet, Sweet Marie.
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Hello Margaret, glad to see you again. Oh you know Ethel Berman don't you darling? Oh yes. And I'm sure you won't want to speak to her. Ethel, I suppose you're ready to sing your song now.
In due time I'd like to have a little chat with Margaret first. Then I want to talk to you too Ethel. I certainly enjoyed you in Call Me Madam. Thank you dear.
I should have had that thought in Call Me Madam. They offered it to me you know. Canola that was Call Me Mister.
Oh yes. Ethel, I've enjoyed you in many of the plays you've done. I saw you in Antigua at your concert several times. That's been four years didn't it? No Margaret, two years. Oh, only half a term.
But even so, singing as exuberantly as you do every night for two years. I wish I had your lungs. Don't mention that back in Washington. They've taken everything else I've got.
Special exhale tax note up. By the way Margaret, I was in Washington a few weeks ago and I tried calling you at the White House but there was no answer. Oh you should have tried the Blair House. They would have called me to the phone.
The Blair House? What's that darling, a candy store? How's everybody back home Margaret? They're fine thank you. How's your family? How are your two children, that cute little girl and that bright little boy? Oh Ethel and Bobby are wonderful.
And Margaret, I trust you won't think I'm being the typical doting American mother when I tell you that I hope someday my son will grow up to be President of United States Seals.
Now look darling, it's all very well to have you two girls standing here blabbering but I think it's time for a song. Oh good, go ahead Ethel, sing something. Oh no you sing Margaret, my song can wait. Oh but I'm sure everyone's waiting to hear you sing.
It's very kind of you to say that but I know they're anxious to hear you sing. Oh no, they want to hear you. Oh I'm sure they want to hear you.
Margaret, I'll sing. Oh no, they can't hear you. Don't bother Ethel, I'll sing. I'm already darling. I don't care who sings as long as it's one of us. Listen to the mockingbird. Listen to the mockingbird. Oh no, no Ethel. Everybody let's have a little quiet here. If it's going to be like that, I'm calling on Frankie Lane.
And the song that Frankie is going to sing is the sixth record made out of flunkers.
Oh
That's where I swan
Where the sunlight
Never wanders
And the moonlight
Never falls
Where the waters black
With the devil's track
That's where my swan girl calls
What did she do with the girl with the golden hair
To make the following day down her bed
How did she look when she quickly by the hand
Tonight her hair will float in the water
And the gold will no longer shine
It will spread like a fan in the water
While she makes a mysterious sign
I have seen that sign before
Her eyes on light
Wibble with
And her eyes are like the fall
Her eyes are just like
The diamond back
Stretching in the dawn
I have seen her face in the water
And the killing look in her eyes
And if you see her then you must leave her
Never follow the losing light
Oh will you go to the girl with the golden hair
Down there where her work is done
Will you embrace the night and turn your back on the sun
You'll say it's better there in the water
Where the cool and calm and serene
She will call you to come to the water
To a world made of emerald green
I have heard that call before
I can hear it when I'm in
I can hear it when I'm in
I can hear it when
The joy of living
Seems to have lost its thrill
For my daughter lives inside of me
And she leaves me fell in love
She dares me
She tears me
Like a paper doll's dark soul
Calling come to the deep
Where your sleep is without
A dream
Calling
Calling
For me
Judith B. Donne-Tanking, I don't go away darling, I want to meet Margaret.
But first let's meet and greet Bing Crosby and Bob Hope.
Now here's Chesterfield's answer to Cyrano de Bergerac, Bob Hope.
I'd top easy dad, but we only have a minute here to sell Chesterfield.
Okay, well let's get to it.
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You know, open a pack and enjoy that milder aroma.
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And Chesterfield leaves no unpleasant aftertaste.
That fact has been confirmed by the country's first and only cigarette taste panel.
Well make our cigarette your cigarette. Reasons go together like this.
Chesterfield, Chesterfield always takes first place.
That's milder than mine, so that's gonna never leave an aftertaste.
Bob Hope, open the pack and give them a smell.
Then you'll smoke them.
Hey Frankie, come here, will you please darling?
Hi, it's the Lula.
I'm gonna have you meet Martha Coomer in a minute.
You might be able to help her, you know. She's making records for R.J. Victor.
You've been pretty successful with your records, haven't you Frankie?
Well, let's just say that we've been pretty lucky.
We've made some records though that have sold over a million copies.
Yes, I know. You make those long selling records.
But what I come to the stand is where you find the time to make all those millions of records.
Each one must take at least three minutes.
No, darling, you don't understand.
We only make the actual record once and then they make presses from the master record.
Oh, then your records are just copies.
Yeah, naturally.
Oh, well, I've made records you know, but I wouldn't make copies.
Each one is an original.
Now just what do you mean?
Well, whenever they get an order for a record, they call me up and I come down and make one.
Well, I had an order for one about six weeks ago.
You did?
I forgot now which one it was though. It was either I'll be seeing you or you go to my head.
Well, it doesn't matter because fortunately they're both the same melody.
Mr. Lula, I'd like to meet Frankie Lay.
Well, of course, Margaret. Come here. Miss Coomer, may I present Mr. Lay?
How do you do?
Gee, Miss Truman, this is an honor.
Margaret, I thought Frankie could tell you something about making records.
Oh, I wish he would.
Well, Miss Truman, I've always found that the best way to make successful records is to make only hits.
That'd be help.
Frankie, why don't you tell her about the actual way to record?
All right. Tell me, are you going to record at 45 or 78, Miss Truman?
Well, you've got me stumped already.
Then that makes it even. I stumped for you in 1948.
Frankie, what do you mean 45 or 78?
Well, you know, revolutions per minute. 45 revolutions per minute or 78 revolutions.
To Lula, you've made some records. Which are you, 45 or 78?
Oh, I'm 45.
You said it to the wagon.
Ethel, we are not... we're talking about records. Something you know nothing about.
Oh, I know nothing about records. You mean you haven't heard any of my records?
I didn't know you had to record. I thought people just opened their windows.
One song of yours I just love, Ethel. This one you did in a picture. Alexander's Ragtime Band. Would you do it for me?
I'd be glad to. Ladies and gentlemen, I will now sing...
One moment, Buster. A bankhead is still the speaker of this house.
I will introduce you. Ladies and gentlemen, the exciting voice of Miss Ethel Merman in Alexander's Ragtime Band.
Come on and hear, come on and hear, Alexander's Ragtime Band.
Come on and hear, come on and hear, it's the best band in the land.
They can play a bucacore like you never heard before. So natural that you want to go to war.
That's just the bestest band what I am. Oh, what I am. Come on along, come on along.
Let me take you by the hand. Up to the man, up to the man, who's the leader of the band.
And if you can't hear the Swanee River, ladies, ragtime. Come on and hear, come on and hear, Alexander's Ragtime Band.
Oh, my honey, oh, my honey, better hurry and let me enter. Ain't you going, ain't you going, to the leader man, rag and meter man.
Oh, my honey, oh, my honey, let me take you to Alexander's Ragtime Band.
Ain't you coming along, come on along, come on and hear, it's the best band in the land.
Come on and hear, come on and hear, Alexander's Ragtime Band.
Come on and hear, come on and hear, it's the best band in the land. They can play a bucacore like you never heard before.
That's just the bestest band, what am I? Come on along, come on along. Let me take you by the hand.
Up to the man, up to the man, who's the leader of the band. And if you can't hear the Swanee River, ladies, ragtime.
Come on and hear, come on and hear, Alexander's Ragtime Band.
Well, thank you at the moment and better luck next time.
That's what it says here. But I want to say that you were as usual superb.
And we want to hear some more singing from you later on. We also are going to hear Margaret Truman's songs.
And we have a very funny fellow in Herb Shiner coming up and a beautiful medley, all in just a moment after Ed's telling he says,
This portion of the program has been brought to you by the makers of Anison for fast relief from the pain of headache, neuritis and neuralgia.
And by RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television.
And by Chesterfield, the cigarette that has for you what every smoker wants, mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste.
The best cigarette for you to smoke. Now, Tallulah, if you'll bring your chimes.
Of course. This, darlings, is NBC, the national broadcasting company.
And Tallulah Bankhead is about to introduce Miss Margaret Truman's song.
Yes, darlings, this is the moment you've all been waiting for, I'm sure. We're about to hear...
Oh, Miss Bankhead.
Oh, yes, Herb. Oh, ladies and gentlemen, this is that fellow from Indiana, the very clever Herb Shiner.
I'll be getting you in just a moment, Herb, and Miss Truman's going to sing now.
That's all right with me. I hope she sings something classical.
Have you got any classical music back home?
No, we don't get any of that.
How about opera?
No, we don't get any opera. We get quite a bit of snow, though.
Well, I'm sure that must be fun, dear. But what I'm talking about are the finer things,
like the legitimate theater, the drama, the amorphous works of the great playwright.
Have you ever get any Shakespeare in your hometown?
Well, I'll tell you, Miss Bankhead, we had one Shakespeare company come there one time,
and they put on this here Romeo and Juliet, but nobody went.
You see, the Boy Scouts had put on the very same show once, and what's used to go,
we all knew how the story come out.
But I'd like to apologize for the way I'm dressed here, by the way.
If I'd known I was going to meet Miss Truman, I'd have sent home a good suit.
Oh, what's wrong with the suit you're having on?
Oh, it's all right. A fellow made it for me back home.
The fellow's very handy with the needle back there. He's a sailmaker.
He makes a pretty good suit. The only trouble is if you get caught in the high wind,
you don't know what time you're going to get home.
So we'll discuss that a little later, Herb.
Okay. I'll just go over here and step there and think. Maybe I'll just step. I already thought so.
Well, you decide which end to use.
Enjoy yourself, darling. Meanwhile, here she is, ladies and gentlemen, Margaret Truman singing
Love is Where You Find It.
Mary is in phase, darling.
Music
Spring love comes upon you, and it's gone, you feel it there.
Soon, though, in the moon, though, you'll find that a new love is free.
Love is where you find it. This is our need. We'll be waiting everywhere.
It may hide from you for a while. It may come tonight in a storm.
Soon, though, in the moon, though, you'll find that a new love is free.
Spring love comes upon you, and it's gone, you feel it there.
Soon, though, in the moon, though, you'll find that a new love is free.
Love is where you find it. Don't be blind. It's all around you everywhere.
It may hide from you for a while.
Applause
Brother Margaret Truman Brummer, darling, you have a wonderful voice tonight.
Thank you, Tallulah.
Oh, Margaret, I'd like you to meet Herb Shriner.
Oh, how do you do, Mr. Shriner? I understand you're from Indiana.
That's right, Indiana. Thirteen electoral votes.
I sure enjoyed the song, Miss Truman. That's the name, ain't it?
Just wanted to be sure. You've got some swell voice on you.
Oh, you like classical music?
Oh, I love it. I'm kind of musical myself, you know. I used to play the harmonica and the note and everything, you know.
And I was always interested in the classical stuff myself. I mean, if a number wasn't classical, I wouldn't mess with it.
In fact, one of my best tunes I used to play was something like the one you just sang.
It was one, of course, that came from way back in the days there with King Louis the XIII.
It was actually very classical, this number. I'll tell you the truth. Harmonica playing is a funny thing.
I was always kind of crazy about show business anyways. And around home there, the harmonica kind of kept me going.
I was always kind of anxious to get into some kind of a show. I was in a small show there once.
We had a me and another fellow got into this. We worked in a drugstore window with our show.
And he was very good. He was dressed up like a doctor. And I was the other fellow. I was barefooted.
And we were going along pretty good. And then my corn healed up and I had to quit.
It was kind of a crimpiness. But it's very hard to get started in the show business in a small town.
Mr. Mankat, I was just thinking, you know, we only had actually one fellow that ever got on the stage from around home there.
He was actually cut out for it. He was a very, kind of a nice wit on him.
And actually he was a genius and he was very smart too. He was one of these fellows.
Kind of a smart genius. The only one I ever run across. And he was no dummy either, I'll tell you that.
Some of the stuff, some of the stuff that fellow had come out with, I remember one particular night,
a bunch of us, we was down in front of the feed store and we weren't doing nothing.
And we'd been at it for about a week. We were trying to get it finished, you know.
And he pulled a good one on us. He walks up and he says, long time no see.
Well, we laughed quite a while over that. I don't know where he'd get them. He had a lot of those things.
Oh, what a sense of humor he had. I'll tell you, I don't know. Of course, he had traveled.
He was one of these fellows. He'd been everywhere. He'd been up to Michigan there once and got back all right, you know.
And he knew his way around and he used to read. He read all the time. He was a regular bookworm.
He got the proper mechanic every month. Anything new come out, he'd get it too.
Just as quick as a trigger. He had this, well, you take when the hot foot come out.
He was the first one in town to send away for the directions.
He's just as quick. And I tell you, he had, I believe without exaggerating the spank,
he had one of the best personalities that I've ever run across. He got it from drinking too.
It was the darnest thing I've ever seen.
He did. He was drunk in a skunk quite a bit and it just seemed to, it kind of set him off.
And in fact, it put him over. I'll tell you what he did. He got into this big club from the east here, this alcoholic unanimous.
Well, he was way up in that. I don't know how far up there he was.
In fact, I tell you, he was a mail order member. He didn't even go to the meetings he used to drink and send in the empty bottles.
They'd give him credit.
But he was a very nice fellow and you'd never look, when you first take a look at that fellow,
you wouldn't think that he had the whiff on him that he had. When he first come to town, he'd just been kind of a stranger there.
He'd been a traveling fellow selling lightning rods. He was going along swell.
Then one night he got caught in a storm with a bunch of samples. I don't know.
He just kind of lost interest in it.
He wanted to stay there in town. He couldn't get started. He didn't know what exactly to do.
He just tried everything. He was selling busted cookies there for a while, you know.
He was weeding onions and delivering sheep dip, anything he could to get going.
Finally, he got a little bit better known and people got to kind of liking him.
He was doing odd jobs, just getting known, people letting him do little jobs like if they had a cat up a tree.
He climbed up there and get the cat and they'd usually give him something for it, of course.
And they'd usually give him the cat anyway.
Well, just when he was getting kind of discouraged, he wasn't going to make any anything or get any wheres.
Overnight, he'd become a huge success in one afternoon. It was a very odd thing.
He found a nickel in a potato. That put him over. It was in a regular live potato, a living potato.
Right in there, he had it cut open so he could see the nickel. And that thing put him over.
Well, his name was in the paper every day for a week. The paper only come out once a week, but he is in there.
And on the strength of that, he started acting very important. He had some cards printed.
Sunday afternoon, people would come around the front of the house, you know, and drive up there and sell balloons and everything.
They'd stand around out there in front and they'd say, there he is. And he was, too.
He was very slick. And he seen he had a good thing there. And the very day that he really got going,
they sent some fellows out from New York, a couple of radio fellows. They was going to, I think there was some, we the people people, I believe it was.
They come out, they was going to put him on the radio. At the time, we didn't have no television. We were still trying to get something good on the radio.
These two fellows were going to put him on. And the very day he was getting interviewed, his potato disappeared.
And the nickel in there and everything, he was just wiped out. It was just, uh,
clean him out. He went down to nothing overnight and it just broke his heart.
And, uh, I don't know, a bunch of us friends of his tried to help him make a comeback. We did what we could there.
We looked through potatoes. I don't know, I guess I looked through about two bushels of potatoes myself.
But we never found another potato with a nickel in it. It was just luck or something. We, uh, we found one with three cents in it. I remember that.
And one of the other boys found a potato with a landing button in there, but it just never hit it again.
It was a terrible shame. And that's the thing about show business. I was trying to say, Miss Bankett, is it's a very peculiar thing.
In fact, there was a great philosopher who once said something about it. I can't think of the philosopher's name right off hand.
I can't think what he said, neither now. But I tell you, it hit the nail on the head.
But I can't, uh, I can't talk too much more about show business, but I think I'm going to simmer down now. I'm going to go back and sit.
Okay?
Herb Sarner, that was like a breath of fresh Indiana air. You must come again very soon.
And now we offer a salute to one of the greatest songwriters America has ever known.
That naturally would be the beloved Irving Berlin.
So Melody Wilson, the big show choralist and orchestra, joins Ethel Merman, Margaret Truman, Frankie Lane, Fred Allen, and myself in a medley of the songs America Sings and Loves.
There's no business like show business, like no business I know.
Everything about it is appealing, everything that's graphic will allow.
Nowhere could you get that happy feeling when you are stealing that extra bow.
There's no people like show people, they smile when they are low.
Yesterday they told you you would not go far. That night you opened and there you are.
Next day on your dressing room, play under star, let's go on with the show.
In your Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it, you'll be the grandest play in the Easter parade.
Oh, I can ride a bonnet, or bow to your Easter bonnet, and love the girl that's waiting through the Easter parade.
He's a devil, he's a devil, he's a devil in his own own crown. On the level, on the level, he's as funny as a clown.
Down at the fair, with all the other hackers he'll receive first prize for playing characters that he cheated.
Can you beat it? He's a devil in his own own crown.
Blue sky, smiling at me. Nothing but blue sky, what do I see?
Bluebirds in a song, nothing but bluebirds all day long.
I never saw the sun shining so bright, I never saw things going so right.
No, the
blue days are gone, nothing but blue skies from now on.
Remember the night, the night you said I love you.
Remember, remember you vied by all the stars above you.
Remember, remember I saw the one with stars, and after I'd lived to see her alive.
You promised that you'd forget me not, but you forgot to remember.
My dream of a white Christmas, with every Christmas card I write.
May your day be merry and bright, and may all your Christmas bells ring.
You don't need analyzing, it is not so surprising that you feel very strange at night.
Your heart goes in a manner, I know just what's the matter, because I've been there once or twice.
Put your head on my shoulder, and you'll see someone who's older, and I'll love you more than ever.
There is nothing you can't do to relieve that pleasant ache, you're gonna take your chance in love.
Played with music, beautiful music, somehow they'd rather be kissed through the strings of so many.
A melody, melody, played on a cello, helps me stop you playing along, so say it with a beautiful song.
A melody, melody, played on a cello, helps me stop you playing along, so say it with a beautiful song.
A melody, melody, played on a cello, helps me stop you playing along, so say it with a beautiful song.
A melody, melody, played on a cello, helps me stop you playing along, so say it with a beautiful song.
A melody, melody, played on a cello, helps me stop you playing along, so say it with a beautiful song.
A melody, melody, played on a cello.
Well, what a genius that man Irving was.
I'll say amen to that, Tallulah, and look, if you don't need me anymore, do you mind if I leave now?
Oh, go right ahead, Ethel. Oh, by the way, say hello to Russell Knight for me, will you, Frutie?
Okay, good night.
And remember me to Paul Lucas, too.
Okay, good night.
And you see Ray Middleton, say hello to me, too.
Okay, good night.
And always remember me to Robert Alder.
Okay, Tallulah.
And say hello to me to Hilda Theroux.
Yes, I will.
And always John Gilbert and Dennis King and just-
Look, Tallulah, why don't I just say, give your ringers a ride?
Goodbye.
Isn't she dull.
Tallulah, I'd like to run now, too, if you don't mind.
Oh, Margaret, why don't you wait and we'll have dinner together.
Oh, thanks, Tallulah, but I really must run.
But Margaret, I thought we might have a little chat.
Some other time, Ploomis. Good night. I really must run.
All right, if you must. Good night, darling. Those Ploomis are always running.
Oh, Fred, are you leaving?
I want to talk to you. Have you got a minute?
Oh, yes, Tallulah. It may surprise you to know that my great-great grandfather was a minute man.
Ever since then, in our family, we have always had a minute.
And accumulating all of those minutes, I have arrived at the time when I have the entire evening.
I know when I'm supposed to come in, Fred. Oh, sorry.
Well, thanks, Evan, for one man whose time is his own.
Gulliver and I.
Fred, I want to ask you advice on how to deal with these guests I have on the show.
Sometimes they do get out of hand, like Evan Berman, for instance.
Well, Tallulah, I am so glad that you asked me.
Now, I noticed, I've noticed on several occasions that you have trouble.
Now, what you really need, if you really will take my advice, what you need is to learn to be firm.
Yes, darling.
You need an iron hand.
Uh-huh.
The male's fist.
Yes.
You know the rock of Gibraltar. Now, that's how I handle people.
Just show them that you are the boss.
Fred, are you coming?
Oh, yes, coming, coming. Right away, boy.
Well, I'm sorry, Tallulah, I have to run now, too.
The rock of Gibraltar, huh?
What happened to your male fist, the iron hand?
Well, I forgot to tell you, everything I have is in my wife's name.
Good night, Fred.
Well, Tallulah, I think I'll be leaving now, too, if you don't mind.
Good night, Frankie, darling, and I'll be sure to button up your overcoat and watch that beautiful voice of yours.
Okay, and you watch your voice, too, huh? I'll be seeing you.
What can happen to my voice? It hasn't already happened.
Oh, Herb, you leaving, too? Did you enjoy being on the big show?
Yeah, I wish I'd known you had a show like this sooner.
You never heard the show before. Surely you read about it in your newspaper.
Well, you see, back home, our paper only comes out once a week, and hardly anybody ever buys it.
But we know what everybody's doing.
It's just once in a while you might buy it to see if they get caught at it.
Good night, everybody.
And come back again, Clive Brooks. How about you? Did you enjoy the show, don't you?
This has been quite an experience, Vita Lula. You do this every week.
Indeed we do.
For instance, next week we have Bob Burns, Jimmy Durante, Billy Eckstein, Tell Us Home every night,
and of course our very own Meridith Wilson and the Big Show auction court and others.
Try to listen, don't you?
May the good Lord bless and keep you.
Whether near or far away.
Ethel?
May you find that long-awaited golden day today, Herb.
May your troubles all be small ones.
And your fortune ten times ten.
Fred?
May the good Lord bless and keep you.
Till we meet again.
Orphan.
May you walk with sunlight shining, And a bluebird in every tree.
Margaret?
May there be a silver lining, Back of every cloud you see.
Meridith?
Fill your dreams with sweet tomorrow, Never mind what might have been.
Clive?
May the good Lord bless and keep you.
Till we meet again.
Frankie?
May you long recall each rainbow, Then you'll soon forget the rain.
May the warm and tender memories be the ones,
That will remain.
Fill your dreams with sweet tomorrow, Never mind what might have been.
May the good Lord bless and keep you.
Until we meet again.
May the good Lord bless and keep you.
Till we meet, till we meet again.
Good night, darlings, and God speed to our armed forces who hear these broadcasts each week all over the world.
The Big Show is produced and directed by D. Engelbach and written by Goodman Ace, Selma Diamond, George Foster, Mort Green, and Frank Wilson.
Keep tuned to NBC for in just one hour, Theatre Guild on the Air presents a great production, Shakespeare's Hamlet starring John Gilgud with Dorothy McGuire and Pamela Brown.
This is Ed Hurley, East Station. Stay tuned for Phil Harris, Dallas Bay, next, a motion at NBC Station.