WEBVTT

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You're about to be entertained by some of the biggest names in show business.

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For the next hour and 30 minutes, this program will present in person such bright stars as...

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Bob Burns

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Jimmy Duranty

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Billy Eckstein

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Celeste Holm

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Evelyn Knight

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Shep Bird

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Cliff Hall

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Smith Ann

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Dale

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Meredith Wilson

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And my name, darlings, is Luther Bankhead.

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The National Broadcasting Company presents...

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The Big Show!

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90 minutes with the most intimidating personalities in the entertainment world.

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Brought to you this Sunday and every Sunday at the same time as the Sunday feature of

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NBC's All-Star Festival.

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And here is your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable, Tallulah Bankhead.

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Well darlings, putting together this week's Big Show has been the most ghastly experience.

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It all started when I very helpfully suggested that they were engaging too many singers for

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our program.

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NBC could save a lot of money, especially since they have me on the show to sing.

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But it seems when it comes to choosing the talent on this show, I have no voice.

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I didn't mean that to sound exactly like that.

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Now what I mean is, after all, I was on another show this past week as a singer and I was

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good too.

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I got 639 telephone votes.

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I ran second only to one very talented young man who played Home Sweet Home on his head

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with a mallet.

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But that doesn't mean a thing to NBC.

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They go out and howl this Billy Eckstein.

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I can sing better than she can.

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I don't care who she is.

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You can, Tallulah?

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Oh, are you Billy Eckstein?

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I don't know what makes you think I'm taking away your singing job.

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After all, I'm a baritone.

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Well, darling.

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You see, you're a bass.

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Well, Billy, I really didn't have you in mind when I was talking about the singers they

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have for this show.

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I was thinking more about the girl singers, like this Doris Day they come up with.

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It's not Doris Day.

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It's Evelyn Knight.

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Well, day or night, you're the one, Evelyn.

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And not only do they howl you and Billy Eckstein, but they give me another singer, Jimmy Durante.

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How do you like that note, Tallulah?

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A note like that will get you nothing, Jimmy.

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With that note, I can get $250,000 from the RFC.

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And a mink coat.

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Naturally, I'll return the mink coat, it takes me long enough to shave as it is.

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Well, Jimmy, darling, I'm not worried about your singing on this program because your

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singing is mostly comedy.

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Now, I would sing love songs.

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I can sing love songs too.

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Oh, you can?

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I never heard you.

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Oh, sure.

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Get a load of this.

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You don't need penicillum.

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You don't need aurumicium.

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You just need self-familiar night.

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You're not in love, you're just sick.

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Why, Jimmy, that's wonderful.

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I never heard you sing so beautifully.

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Next week, Toulou, at the St. Patrick's Day parade, I'm going to sing.

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Touloulaloo, Touloula, Touloulaloo, Touloula, Touloula, Touloula, Touloula, Touloula, Touloula,

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Touloula, Touloula, Touloula, you're an Irish alabar.

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You see what I mean, though, Jimmy, darling, everybody who comes on this program is allowed

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to sing.

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But when I want to sing, you should hear the inhuman cry that goes up.

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Before you sing?

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Yes, they don't even give me a chance.

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Well, don't you have a sponsor on this program?

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Why don't you go to your sponsor and complain?

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Oh, we have three sponsors we have.

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Now, let me see.

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We have RCA Victor.

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No, I don't think your singing would help their business.

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Well, and we have Chesterfield Cigarettes.

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No, your voice wouldn't help their business either.

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And we have Anderson Headache Tablets.

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That's the one to go to.

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Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, I'm disappointed in you.

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I thought you'd help me out in this little problem I'm having here.

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After all, Jimmy, I don't sing as bad as all that.

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There are many facets to my voice.

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Speaking of facets, have you ever practiced singing in the bathtub?

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Do you?

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Every time I take a breath, I practice my singing.

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I'm coming to something tough.

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Every time I take a bath, I practice my singing.

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Eight jinks, the frume and cleanser.

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I told you you should have played it, Meredith.

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Well, I got over it.

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That takes the ring out of the bathtub and puts it in my voice.

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Now, Jimmy, no plugs.

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How can I take a bath without a plug?

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Well, I have a confession to make, Jimmy.

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I always practice singing when I'm in the tub.

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Well, only this afternoon, while I was taking a bath, I was singing,

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I'll be singing.

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In the bathtub?

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Please.

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Now I know what's wrong with your voice.

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You should spray it with Rins-O.

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You've got a fish pan throat.

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Well, it looks like everybody's at my throat.

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I know there can't be that much difference between my singing and everybody else's.

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Oh, Jimmy, I'm going to let one of our guests sing now.

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She's one of our very best singers.

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I want you to listen to her and see if you can tell why everybody would rather hear her

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than me.

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It's every night singing her great recording, I Remember the Cornfields.

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I remember the cornfields.

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And the wind softly sighs.

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And the swing beneath the chestnut tree.

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I remember my school friends.

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Happy days swiftly flying.

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And my room still waiting for you.

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The old harvest moon rising over the city.

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And discovers me there and regards me with pity.

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While there the heart I long.

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I remember my first love.

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And the last time he kissed me.

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By the golden cornfields of home.

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The old harvest moon rising over the city.

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And discovers me there and regards me with pity.

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While there the heart.

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I remember my first love.

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And the last time he kissed me.

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By the golden cornfields of home.

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The old harvest moon rising over the city.

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And the golden cornfields of home.

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The old harvest moon rising over the city.

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I remember my first love.

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And the last time he kissed me.

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By the golden cornfields of home.

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The old harvest moon rising over the city.

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And he saw me first.

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And he kissed me.

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By the golden cornfields of home.

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Thank you Evelyn darling, you were simply fair.

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Simply fair?

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You don't like that Evelyn? Would you prefer me to say you were fairly simple?

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I know what's bothering you Tallulah, you're just jealous of my singing.

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I'm jealous of your singing. Really my dear girl.

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Oh I suppose there is an audience that likes good singing, but there must be an audience for me too.

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I was just talking to Jimmy Durandy about a moment ago. Jimmy where are you?

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Right here Tallulah, I've been listening to Evelyn sing like you told me and I've come to a ghastly conclusion.

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Tallulah, you should have your tonsils out.

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But I've already had my tonsils out.

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Then put them back in. At least one.

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Tallulah, I don't know why you keep worrying about singing. After all you're a dramatic actress. You know the old saying, shoemaker stick to your last.

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You mean I should stick to acting?

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Either that or learn to make shoes.

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I know where I'd like to put my first shoe.

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Tallulah, there's no use getting angry about it. If you want to sing you've got to work at it.

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I love to sing. I take care of my voice. I never go to bed later than nine o'clock.

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Practice scales all day. Before going to bed I drink warm milk. Never have dates more than twice a month.

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And I'm always home before nine o'clock. And that's how I keep in condition so I can sing.

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Yeah? What have you got to sing about?

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Well if you want to sing Tallulah you've got to stick to a schedule like that.

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Warm milk every night? I would rather die.

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Well, it's either you or your audience.

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Now just a minute. This isn't fair. You two picking on Tallulah.

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Oh thank you Billy Eckstein. You've heard me sing haven't you?

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Well, no I haven't really. Would you care to run over one of your songs for me?

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Oh I'd be glad to Billy.

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Give my regards to Broadway. Remember me to Harrow Square.

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Tallulah, I said run over it not trample it to death.

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Oh I see. You've joined the opposition too.

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Oh no, I want to help you. Now let me show you how to sing that. Listen to this.

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....

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Oh that's very pretty Billy. What's the name of that song?

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Let's give my regards to Broadway.

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Really? Well what do you know? Two different songs with the same title.

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Well sing something else for us. Will you Billy?

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Okay, I'll sing if.

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Go right ahead, Billy.

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I hope he knows the words to this.

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Better than he knows, give my regards to Broadway.

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Ah, ah, ah.

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If they made me a king, I'd be but a slave to you.

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If I had everything, I'd still be a slave to you.

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If I ruled the night, stars and moons so bright,

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still I'd turn for life to you.

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If the world to me bowed, in ugly I'd plead to you.

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If my friends were a crowd, I'd turn in my knee to you.

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If I ruled the earth, what would life be worth,

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if I hadn't the right to you?

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If I ruled the night, stars and moons so bright,

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still I'd turn for life to you.

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If the world to me bowed, in ugly I'd plead to you.

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If my friends were a crowd, I'd turn in my knee to you.

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If I ruled the earth, what would life be worth,

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if I hadn't the right to you?

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If I hadn't the right to you?

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Well, Billy, you certainly knew the words to that one, and you sang it divinely.

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Well, I'm glad we finished with the singing department on this program.

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But wait a minute, Tallulah. You've got Celeste Holm on the show. She's a singer.

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Oh, no. I took care of that. Celeste is an actress.

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She won an Academy Award in Motion Pictures.

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She's in a play without music now on Broadway, Affairs of State.

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Yes, but she became a star in Oklahoma. She sang in that one.

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Well, I've already fixed it so she won't sing on this program.

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When I found out that she was going to be on the show, last Monday it was, I telephoned her.

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Well, I certainly straightened her out about what she was going to do on the show,

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and I made sure she was not going to sing.

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Hello. Hello. Is this the residence of Celeste Holm?

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Yes, sir.

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Oh, is that you, Celeste? Who is this?

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Oh, this is Tallulah. Oh, one moment, s'il vous plaît. I will see if madame is here.

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Thank you, Rochester.

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Oh, good heavens. What is she calling me about now?

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She's already called me about what to wear on the show, and I promised I'd try not to look young.

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What can she want now?

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Hello. This is Miss Holm's secretary. May I help you?

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Well, I want to speak with Miss Holm personally, if I could, please.

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Well, I'm so sorry, but there are no passes for her play on Broadway.

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Oh, no, no, no. It's not about that, really. It's about the big show on Sunday.

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Oh, well, she can get you plenty of tickets for that. Who is this, please?

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Look, miss, this is Tallulah Bankhead.

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Who?

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Tallulah Bankhead.

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What's so funny about that?

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Nothing. It sounds as if you're saying Tallulah Bankhead.

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I am saying Tallulah Bankhead.

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Oh, I beg your pardon. How do you spell that?

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Well, I'm not very good at spelling, but let me see now. So I...

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Well, now, let's see. T-A-L...

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What's that first letter?

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T. T as in taboo.

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As in what?

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Taboo. Lunghead.

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Oh, Taboola Lunghead.

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My dear girl, I am going to inform Miss Holm that you are without doubt the most inefficient, incompetent secretary anybody ever had.

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And if Miss Holm doesn't fire you the minute I tell her...

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Oh, please, please, please don't. Please don't tell her. I try to do my best. It's just that she treats me so badly.

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She overworks me from morning to night, washing and ironing.

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Washing and ironing?

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Washing and ironing her hair.

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Oh, you mean that beautiful head of hair is not really...

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Oh, no, please, please don't say I told you. I don't want to lose my job. I'm so...

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Oh, no, of course I won't. Thank you, my darling. I won't say a word.

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Oh, so the hair is not really hers.

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Well, of course, I suspect it all the time.

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Oh, it is hers. I paid for it.

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That's another thing. She makes me do all her shopping, and she keeps me busy on the phone from morning to night, calling up an escort service for men to take her out.

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Calling an escort service?

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The one on Madison Avenue all day long.

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The one on Madison? Oh, no, darling, that's not the good one, darling. The one on...

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Well, I mean, well, my dear, you really... you shouldn't talk this way about me, so after all, she is your employer.

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What about her figure, my dear? She has a perfect figure. You can't say anything about her figure. How can you?

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Oh, well, it is a perfect figure. I hand it to her every morning.

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No. Oh, my dear, I must have lucky you some evening. I want to meet some of my friends.

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Walter Wenshell, Earl Wilson, and at last, I simply can't understand why you stay on with this home, and she treats you so shabbily.

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Well, please don't tell her, but you see, I want to be an actress, and I took this job so I can stay close to Miss Holman, learn how to be the great actress she is,

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and you know she is getting on in years, and I'm just waiting for my chance to take her place in the theatre.

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That plot sounds familiar to me.

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But it would make a good picture, all about Celeste.

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Oh, you won't tell her, I've told you, will you? She'd whip me.

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Whip you? Oh, yes, she's a regular Simon degree. Oh, Miss Holm just came in. I'll put her on.

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Hello, Tallulah. Hello, Simon, darling. What? I mean Eve. I mean Celeste.

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Darling, I told you about the big show. Now, it won't be necessary for you to sing on it. We have plenty of singers, including myself.

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Oh, but Tallulah, I have a wonderful new number to sing. That's where I've been. I've been rehearsing it all afternoon with an orchestra, and I just want you to hear it.

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It's a song called The Happy Ending from a 20th Century Fox Picture on the Riviera,

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and my friend Sylvia Fine wrote it, and she told me I should be sure to sing it on your show, so listen to it, Tallulah.

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Okay, fellas, you can play it now. Your orchestra came home with you.

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They escorted me home. I have a wonderful escort service. I'll give you the number if you want it. I know the number, 802.

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Stay where you are, listen to me, before you make your mind up what the wind up ought to be.

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Though it used to be she for the end to be bleak, the fad to be sad has been had.

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Oh, do you like your drama? Oh, so stark that when the lights go on, where are you?

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Still in the dark misery may be some people's cup of tea.

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But, brother, not me. It makes me feel so good when I see a happy ending.

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Give me a happy ending every time. It makes me feel so bad when the curtain is descending and lovers aren't blending.

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That's a crime. Don't want the hero to be the one who done it.

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Don't want my heroin left all alone to gun it. If that is corny, don't ever let them stop corn.

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I want to relax and eat my popcorn. So make me feel real good when I see that final fade out.

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I want that mortgage paid out every dime.

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Want to yip it, want to yuck it, leave my hanky in my pocket and see a happy ending every time.

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In a western heat of time, I really love it. It's when the doctor yells hot water and plenty of it.

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When the villain's bullet rips the hero's hat away. Look out! They went that way.

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So bring the girls on stage. Let them take that final entrance and make that final entrance look sublime.

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Let them smile or sing a ditty or just stand there and look pretty.

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Let them really reek with glamour as we wind up this hit drummer.

25:38.980 --> 25:46.980
While we dance it, while we shout it, while we leave no doubt or thought it, we like a happy ending every time.

25:46.980 --> 26:10.980
Yip it, yuck it, leave my hanky in my pocket and see a happy ending every time.

26:10.980 --> 26:12.980
Hello, Tallulah, you still there?

26:12.980 --> 26:17.980
Well, Celeste, I see you have an escort service for applause too.

26:17.980 --> 26:19.980
Well, didn't you like the song, Tallulah?

26:19.980 --> 26:24.980
Darling, it's not a question of how much I like it. It's a question of how much I hate it.

26:24.980 --> 26:26.980
You mean you won't let me sing it on your show?

26:26.980 --> 26:34.980
Now, let's put it bluntly, darling. If you sing the song on the show, you'll be a big hit. So you're not going to sing it.

26:34.980 --> 26:43.980
Well, I've got news for you, Tallulah. My contract reads that I can sing on your program if I want to and I want to.

26:43.980 --> 26:53.980
Well, I've got news for you, honey. I just had a most informative chat with your combination secretary maid and figure hander.

26:53.980 --> 26:55.980
Tallulah, are you threatening me?

26:55.980 --> 26:58.980
If the figure fits, darling, wear it.

26:58.980 --> 26:59.980
Tallulah?

26:59.980 --> 27:00.980
Yes?

27:00.980 --> 27:03.980
I telephoned you last Sunday evening about six o'clock and you weren't home.

27:03.980 --> 27:06.980
Well, of course not, darling. I'm on this show at six o'clock.

27:06.980 --> 27:12.980
Yes, I know. I had an hour and a half chat with your combination maid, masseuse and girdle stretcher.

27:12.980 --> 27:17.980
Oh, Celesta, darling, why don't you sing your first song in the first half hour?

27:17.980 --> 27:22.980
And then, of course, if you want to sing several other songs, you can sing whenever you feel like it. I...

27:22.980 --> 27:25.980
Well, I wouldn't do more for Catherine Hepburn.

27:25.980 --> 27:31.980
Oh, and speaking of Catherine Hepburn, I was talking to her maid the other day.

27:31.980 --> 27:33.980
Yes, and what did she say?

27:33.980 --> 27:37.980
Well, darling, you wouldn't believe it, but she told me.

27:48.980 --> 27:54.980
If you feel like singing, sing, trill on your cares away.

27:54.980 --> 28:03.980
There's something about giving up when the song makes you belong, helps you find the peace of mind for days.

28:03.980 --> 28:09.980
If you feel like humming hum, hear the dee dee da dee dum.

28:09.980 --> 28:15.980
Supposing you do re be slightly off key, everyone can't hear me.

28:15.980 --> 28:24.980
Tell your friends to go place to place, start making place if you feel like singing, sing.

28:24.980 --> 28:28.980
You have been listening to Meredith Wilson and his orchestra.

28:28.980 --> 28:49.980
And now I'd like to take just a moment before we continue to say that this is NBC, the national broadcasting company.

28:59.980 --> 29:09.980
The Big Show. This is the national broadcasting company Sunday Extravaganza with the most scintillating personalities in show business.

29:09.980 --> 29:19.980
The Big Show, the Sunday night feature of NBC's All-Star Festival, is brought to you by RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television.

29:19.980 --> 29:26.980
By Chesterfield, the cigarette that has for you what every smoker wants, mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste.

29:26.980 --> 29:29.980
The cigarette that brings you Bing Crosby and Bob Hope.

29:29.980 --> 29:35.980
And by the makers of Anisyn for fast relief from the pain of headache, neuritis, and neuralgia.

29:35.980 --> 29:42.980
The big stars in this program are Bob Burns, Jimmy Durante, Billy Eckstein, Cliff Hall, Celeste Holm, Evelyn Knight, Jack Pearl, Smith and Dale,

29:42.980 --> 29:45.980
Meredith Wilson and his Big Show Orchestra and Chorus.

29:45.980 --> 30:04.980
And every week, your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable, Tallulah Bankhead.

30:04.980 --> 30:08.980
Well, darling, we think we have a treat for you on the Big Show this week.

30:08.980 --> 30:12.980
In the world of entertainment, there are certain classics which are ageless.

30:12.980 --> 30:16.980
Now stop snickering, I'm not talking about myself.

30:16.980 --> 30:22.980
We have collected this week several classic comedy performers who have contributed priceless gems of entertainment,

30:22.980 --> 30:24.980
which will long be remembered in our business.

30:24.980 --> 30:28.980
Those of you who have heard these artists will laugh again.

30:28.980 --> 30:35.980
But it will be a new and refreshing experience for the younger generation, of which I happen to be a member.

30:35.980 --> 30:37.980
Hello, little girl.

30:37.980 --> 30:46.980
Well, the first of these is the Arkansas traveler himself, Bob Burns.

30:46.980 --> 30:53.980
Bob, I can't tell you how delighted and surprised and gratified I was to hear you were coming back to radio to be on our show,

30:53.980 --> 30:56.980
especially after they explained to me who you were.

30:56.980 --> 30:58.980
Now, how did you happen to decide to come here, darling?

30:58.980 --> 31:00.980
Well, I'll tell you, Miss Bankhead.

31:00.980 --> 31:02.980
May I withdraw the question?

31:02.980 --> 31:07.980
No, no, I want to tell you because I got a proposition for you.

31:07.980 --> 31:09.980
You do?

31:09.980 --> 31:14.980
Yeah, you see, I thought about opening a nightclub here and taking you in as a partner.

31:14.980 --> 31:19.980
Now, I understand you got a lot of money and you got a big name to draw the people in,

31:19.980 --> 31:22.980
and I was thinking about cutting you in as a partner 50-50.

31:22.980 --> 31:25.980
I put up the money and the name. What are you putting up?

31:25.980 --> 31:30.980
Well, after we get the people in, somebody's got to entertain them.

31:30.980 --> 31:32.980
Why can't I entertain?

31:32.980 --> 31:34.980
Well, to tell you the truth, I believe you could.

31:34.980 --> 31:38.980
I've been listening to all this talk about you not being able to sing,

31:38.980 --> 31:43.980
and you know, I don't believe your singing's ever had the proper musical background.

31:43.980 --> 31:52.980
You know, I believe my bazooka is the only instrument in the world that will blend with your voice.

31:52.980 --> 31:56.980
You mean you're going to let me sing while you play? Oh, Bob, you're very kind.

31:56.980 --> 32:03.980
I don't think so, and I'll tell you why. You know, Miss Bankhead, you kind of remind me of my Aunt Boo.

32:03.980 --> 32:09.980
I'd like to tell you, you better sit down over there now. This may take some time.

32:09.980 --> 32:13.980
You know, one of the reasons why I was so anxious to get on this show here

32:13.980 --> 32:19.980
is because I wanted to see if I'd feel the same way when Miss Bankhead called me darling

32:19.980 --> 32:23.980
as one of my uncles did years ago down in Van Buren.

32:23.980 --> 32:30.980
One of them city girls come to Van Buren and she said darling to everybody, didn't think anything about it.

32:30.980 --> 32:36.980
She called my uncle darling, and he took it to heart. He got to thinking about it. He liked it.

32:36.980 --> 32:44.980
And he fell in love with her. And it got so bad, he finally went up to her and told her if she didn't marry him, he'd die.

32:44.980 --> 32:51.980
Of course, she didn't think anything of it. She turned him down, and sure enough, 65 years later, he died.

32:51.980 --> 33:01.980
Now, you know, my grandpa Stassi just swears that Miss Bankhead and my Aunt Boo are kin

33:01.980 --> 33:09.980
because they not only both come from Alabama, but, well, my Aunt Boo's first name is Tallulah.

33:09.980 --> 33:14.980
Of course, I always called her Aunt Boo by her nickname. I never called her Aunt Tallulah

33:14.980 --> 33:22.980
because I understood if you used the word Tallulah, you'll likely get sued.

33:22.980 --> 33:26.980
So I want you people, now if you will, I want you to follow me through this thing.

33:26.980 --> 33:32.980
I want to describe Aunt Boo and see if you can't see the similarity in them two women.

33:32.980 --> 33:36.980
Now, first, Aunt Boo is kind of the dominating type.

33:36.980 --> 33:41.980
I remember the morning I was at her house when she took the skillet test.

33:41.980 --> 33:47.980
Now, the boys down home won't marry a girl unless they can stand that skillet test.

33:47.980 --> 33:54.980
A girl has to throw a skillet up the chimney and run out the yard and catch it in her apron before it hits the ground.

33:54.980 --> 34:01.980
Well, when Aunt Boo threw this skillet up the chimney, she threw it way up in the air, and there was a high wind blowing that day.

34:01.980 --> 34:08.980
And it carried this skillet quite a ways, and Aunt Boo had to jump four barbed wire fences, but she got it.

34:08.980 --> 34:12.980
I remember when Papa saw her catch it, he nudged Uncle Yuni, he said,

34:12.980 --> 34:15.980
Yuni, I think you got something there.

34:15.980 --> 34:17.980
And he did, too.

34:17.980 --> 34:27.980
Do you know at the wedding when Uncle Yuni said, I do, that's the last decision the man ever made?

34:27.980 --> 34:32.980
You know, I don't want you to think now that they didn't get along because they did.

34:32.980 --> 34:41.980
Because when they was first married, Aunt Boo made a rule that if one of them started an argument, the other one would walk out of the house.

34:41.980 --> 34:49.980
They've not only had 40 years of happy married life, but today Uncle Yuni is the healthiest man you ever saw.

34:49.980 --> 34:53.980
He's been spending so much of his life outdoors.

34:53.980 --> 34:58.980
Are you beginning to get the similarity there between the two women?

34:58.980 --> 35:00.980
It's beginning to show up.

35:00.980 --> 35:06.980
I remember when I was a little boy, Aunt Boo was in the kitchen by herself and the window was open.

35:06.980 --> 35:15.980
Uncle Yuni was plowing out in the field, and I saw a great big huge wild cat jump through the window right in this room where Aunt Boo was.

35:15.980 --> 35:17.980
Well, I was scared to death.

35:17.980 --> 35:21.980
I went out and told Uncle Yuni about it, and he just kept on plowing.

35:21.980 --> 35:24.980
I says, Uncle Yuni, aren't you going back there?

35:24.980 --> 35:32.980
He says, Listen, Robin, that wild cat got in there of his own accord. Let him get out the best way.

35:32.980 --> 35:39.980
Do you know one time, I'll never forget if I live a thousand years, the years the crows got so bad,

35:39.980 --> 35:46.980
they were just eating up Uncle Yuni's corn, and Uncle Yuni put out a scarecrow in the middle of the corn field,

35:46.980 --> 35:51.980
but them crows were so brazen they just didn't pay any attention to the scarecrow.

35:51.980 --> 35:53.980
They went right on eating it.

35:53.980 --> 35:57.980
And Aunt Boo went out there and stood in the corn field herself.

35:57.980 --> 36:08.980
Do you know them crows got so scared they brought back corn they stole four years ago?

36:08.980 --> 36:12.980
There's another similarity there between the two women.

36:12.980 --> 36:16.980
Aunt Boo was a society woman. She was an entertainer.

36:16.980 --> 36:20.980
She liked nothing better than having a big crowd of people around her.

36:20.980 --> 36:27.980
But if there's anything in the world mortified her, it was to have something go wrong at the table where she was serving.

36:27.980 --> 36:32.980
I'll never forget this day we had the family reunion, and oh, we were all there.

36:32.980 --> 36:38.980
And Aunt Boo, of course, she didn't sit down. She stood up so that anything go wrong.

36:38.980 --> 36:45.980
And we were halfway through the meal when she suddenly remembered she forgot to put on the buttermilk.

36:45.980 --> 36:52.980
But she went down to the spring house where she keeps the buttermilk in a big jar, and she's got a cloth over the top.

36:52.980 --> 36:57.980
Happened to be a little hole in the cloth that day, and a little green frog fell in the buttermilk.

36:57.980 --> 37:03.980
Aunt Boo didn't see it, and she rushed up to the house, and in such a hurry she poured the buttermilk out,

37:03.980 --> 37:08.980
and Grandpa Snazzy got the glass of buttermilk with a little frog in it.

37:08.980 --> 37:13.980
Well, Aunt Boo was watching them, and everybody else had drank their buttermilk, but Grandpa Snazzy.

37:13.980 --> 37:18.980
He just sat there staring in this glass of buttermilk. Didn't touch it.

37:18.980 --> 37:21.980
Aunt Boo says, What's the matter, Grandpa? You see something in your buttermilk?

37:21.980 --> 37:24.980
Grandpa says, Yes, and he sees me, too.

37:24.980 --> 37:35.980
Now, Miss Bankhead, long about here is where I plan for you to sing with me, if you're ready.

37:35.980 --> 37:51.980
Oh, thank you, Bob, darling. That's very sweet of you.

37:51.980 --> 38:02.980
How come you do me like you do, do, do?

38:02.980 --> 38:20.980
Well, you never top that.

38:20.980 --> 38:23.980
Here's a word from RCA Victor.

38:23.980 --> 38:27.980
You know, when spring puts in its appearance, the ladies always seem to catch the men off guard.

38:27.980 --> 38:31.980
They've been busy for weeks planning their spring wardrobe, studying the new styles,

38:31.980 --> 38:35.980
and this year there's one style everyone will want to study.

38:35.980 --> 38:44.980
It's the better-looking-in-every-way style of RCA Victor's magnificent new 17-inch television receiver, the Fairfield.

38:44.980 --> 38:50.980
With the Fairfield, you'll get television pictures which are exceptionally clear, bright, and steady.

38:50.980 --> 38:56.980
And you'll have RCA Victor's new picture pick-up, which assures you of the best possible reception.

38:56.980 --> 39:01.980
If you've been looking for a television set that's going to look well in your home, here's your answer.

39:01.980 --> 39:09.980
The Fairfield's console cabinet is truly distinctive, and its beautiful doors close over the screen when your set's not in use.

39:09.980 --> 39:15.980
Go see your RCA Victor dealer. He'll be glad to show you the better-looking Fairfield.

39:15.980 --> 39:33.980
Well, darlings, I don't know what all of you were doing back in the year 1910, those of you who were here at all, I mean.

39:33.980 --> 39:37.980
Personally, back in 1910, my parents had not yet met each other.

39:37.980 --> 39:45.980
Well, they didn't meet till about five years after that, and then they didn't get married till about two years after that.

39:45.980 --> 39:49.980
And then there was my sister who was born six years before I was.

39:49.980 --> 39:56.980
And now if you have any fingers left, darlings, you can figure out what I know you've been trying to figure.

39:56.980 --> 39:59.980
Confused, darlings? Well, you know.

39:59.980 --> 40:06.980
What I started to say was that back in 1910, there were a couple of wonderful comedians doing one of the great classics of show business.

40:06.980 --> 40:11.980
They had become partners in 1898, and they've been partners ever since.

40:11.980 --> 40:14.980
Fifty-three years as a team in the theatre.

40:14.980 --> 40:26.980
Ladies and gentlemen, Smith and Dale.

40:26.980 --> 40:31.980
We hear the never-to-be-forgotten Dr. Cronkite sketch.

40:31.980 --> 40:39.980
The scene of Dr.'s office, the patient Joe Smith has just entered the office of Dr. Cronkite, Charlie Dale.

40:39.980 --> 40:44.980
Mr. Smith is greeted by the nurse, Miss Jean Courtney.

40:44.980 --> 40:46.980
How do you do, sir?

40:46.980 --> 40:48.980
Is this the office of Dr. Cronkite?

40:48.980 --> 40:49.980
Yes, I'm his nurse.

40:49.980 --> 40:52.980
His nurse? Is the doctor sick too?

40:52.980 --> 40:54.980
No, no, I'm a trained nurse.

40:54.980 --> 40:57.980
Oh, you do tricks.

40:57.980 --> 40:59.980
What's the doctor's office hours?

40:59.980 --> 41:04.980
His hours are from 12 to 3, 3 to 6, 6 to 9, 9 to 12, and 12 to 3.

41:04.980 --> 41:07.980
Well, he gets good odds. He must be a horse doctor.

41:07.980 --> 41:09.980
No, those are his hours.

41:09.980 --> 41:10.980
Is that AM or FM?

41:10.980 --> 41:11.980
That's TV.

41:11.980 --> 41:15.980
TV? Oh, Tuesday or Wednesday.

41:15.980 --> 41:16.980
Is the doctor in now?

41:16.980 --> 41:17.980
Yes, but he's very busy.

41:17.980 --> 41:19.980
All right, I'll wait.

41:19.980 --> 41:20.980
Will you have a chair?

41:20.980 --> 41:24.980
Thank you. I'll take it on my way out.

41:24.980 --> 41:25.980
How much does the doctor charge for a visit?

41:25.980 --> 41:30.980
Oh, he charges $5 for the first visit, $3 for the second, and one for the third.

41:30.980 --> 41:31.980
$1 for the third visit.

41:31.980 --> 41:32.980
Yes.

41:32.980 --> 41:33.980
Thank you.

41:33.980 --> 41:38.980
Oh, here comes the doctor now.

41:38.980 --> 41:41.980
This must be Hobby Lobby.

41:41.980 --> 41:43.980
Well, doctor, here I am again.

41:43.980 --> 41:45.980
You are? I never saw you before in my life.

41:45.980 --> 41:47.980
I'm here for the fifth time.

41:47.980 --> 41:49.980
If I come here once more, you'll owe me eight cents.

41:49.980 --> 41:50.980
Yes, sir.

41:50.980 --> 41:51.980
So you're a doctor.

41:51.980 --> 41:52.980
I'm a doctor.

41:52.980 --> 41:53.980
I'm dubious.

41:53.980 --> 41:55.980
Nice to meet you, Mr. Dubious. I'm also glad to know you.

41:55.980 --> 41:56.980
I'm still dubious.

41:56.980 --> 41:57.980
Are you married, Mr. Dubious?

41:57.980 --> 41:58.980
Yes or no.

41:58.980 --> 41:59.980
What do you mean, yes or no?

41:59.980 --> 42:00.980
I am, but I wish I wasn't.

42:00.980 --> 42:01.980
Oh, okay.

42:01.980 --> 42:02.980
Have you got any children?

42:02.980 --> 42:03.980
I've got three, a boy and a girl.

42:03.980 --> 42:05.980
Three, a boy and a girl? What's the other one?

42:05.980 --> 42:07.980
So young, who can tell?

42:07.980 --> 42:09.980
Do you carry any insurance?

42:09.980 --> 42:11.980
I've got one nickel insurance, Doc.

42:11.980 --> 42:13.980
Oh, you should die. What would your wife bury you with?

42:13.980 --> 42:14.980
With pleasure.

42:14.980 --> 42:16.980
Yeah, I have.

42:16.980 --> 42:17.980
What seems to be your complaint?

42:17.980 --> 42:19.980
I don't know. Before I saw you, I saw another doctor.

42:19.980 --> 42:20.980
Uh-huh.

42:20.980 --> 42:21.980
He said I had snu in my blood.

42:21.980 --> 42:22.980
What did they tell you?

42:22.980 --> 42:23.980
They told me I had snu in my blood.

42:23.980 --> 42:24.980
Snu? What snu?

42:24.980 --> 42:25.980
Nothing. What snu with you?

42:25.980 --> 42:26.980
Yeah.

42:26.980 --> 42:27.980
With pleasure.

42:27.980 --> 42:28.980
Yeah, uh-huh.

42:28.980 --> 42:29.980
So what seems to be your complaint?

42:29.980 --> 42:30.980
I don't know. Before I saw you, I saw another doctor.

42:30.980 --> 42:31.980
Uh-huh.

42:31.980 --> 42:32.980
He said I had snu in my blood.

42:32.980 --> 42:33.980
What did they tell you?

42:33.980 --> 42:34.980
They told me I had snu in my blood.

42:34.980 --> 42:35.980
Snu? What snu?

42:35.980 --> 42:36.980
Nothing. What snu with you?

42:36.980 --> 42:37.980
Yeah.

42:37.980 --> 42:38.980
What's the trouble here? What's the...

42:38.980 --> 42:39.980
I don't know. I'm as sick as a dog.

42:39.980 --> 42:40.980
Don't worry. You came to the right place. I'm also a veterinarian.

42:40.980 --> 42:41.980
What's the matter?

42:41.980 --> 42:42.980
I don't know. Every time I eat a heavy meal, I don't feel so hungry.

42:42.980 --> 42:53.980
That's my problem, Doc.

42:53.980 --> 42:58.980
Oh, well, maybe. Maybe you don't eat the right kind of dishes.

42:58.980 --> 42:59.980
What?

42:59.980 --> 43:03.980
The white communities, you don't eat that right. What kind of dishes do you eat?

43:03.980 --> 43:04.980
I should eat dishes.

43:04.980 --> 43:05.980
What kind of dishes?

43:05.980 --> 43:06.980
What am I, a crocodile?

43:06.980 --> 43:09.980
Yeah. What kind of... What is your favorite dish?

43:09.980 --> 43:10.980
Aluminum.

43:10.980 --> 43:12.980
Aluminum? Yeah, no, no.

43:12.980 --> 43:14.980
I like aluminum with semis in it.

43:14.980 --> 43:17.980
No, no, no. You don't seem to grips me while I speak with you.

43:17.980 --> 43:18.980
I don't grips you.

43:18.980 --> 43:19.980
Yes?

43:19.980 --> 43:20.980
If I don't grips you, don't grips me.

43:20.980 --> 43:21.980
No, no, you don't understand.

43:21.980 --> 43:22.980
Guys, you've been eating radishes.

43:22.980 --> 43:25.980
Yeah, radishes. What's the matter? Don't you like radishes?

43:25.980 --> 43:27.980
I love radishes, but not when you eat it.

43:27.980 --> 43:28.980
Yeah, yeah, Mr. P.

43:28.980 --> 43:29.980
I'm a single.

43:29.980 --> 43:30.980
Mr. P, it's my time as a tournament player.

43:30.980 --> 43:31.980
No, I don't love it either.

43:31.980 --> 43:34.980
Yeah, I don't love you. I would like to know what kind of meats you eat.

43:34.980 --> 43:35.980
Will I eat?

43:35.980 --> 43:36.980
What?

43:36.980 --> 43:37.980
Will I eat?

43:37.980 --> 43:40.980
I don't ask you, will you? I said, what kind of meats you eat?

43:40.980 --> 43:41.980
What did I tell you?

43:41.980 --> 43:42.980
You asked me, will you? I don't want to know.

43:42.980 --> 43:43.980
I said, will you? I said, will I?

43:43.980 --> 43:46.980
Oh, for pity's sake, don't make me a card.

43:46.980 --> 43:48.980
I don't know if that's Dr. Jekyll or Oscar Wilde.

43:48.980 --> 43:50.980
I ask you, I ask you, how do you eat a wheel?

43:50.980 --> 43:52.980
Wheel, wheel, wee hee hey hell wheel.

43:52.980 --> 43:53.980
Yeah, that's it.

43:53.980 --> 43:54.980
What do you think, I eat wagon wheel?

43:54.980 --> 43:55.980
I don't know.

43:55.980 --> 43:56.980
I eat wheel from a cutlet.

43:56.980 --> 43:59.980
You should say with a V and not with a woo.

43:59.980 --> 44:00.980
You eat wheel or woo?

44:00.980 --> 44:03.980
I don't know. Now, when you eat, how do you like a wheel, medium?

44:03.980 --> 44:05.980
No, I like my wheel well-to-do.

44:05.980 --> 44:07.980
One side, the other side optional.

44:07.980 --> 44:09.980
No, I would like to know when you drink drinks,

44:09.980 --> 44:11.980
what kind of drinking drinks do you drink?

44:11.980 --> 44:12.980
Have you drink sometimes liquor?

44:12.980 --> 44:14.980
Wait a minute, Dr., don't talk.

44:14.980 --> 44:16.980
When you talk, you sing April Shower.

44:16.980 --> 44:18.980
No, I can't.

44:18.980 --> 44:20.980
You mean like coffee or milk or chocolate?

44:20.980 --> 44:21.980
That's right.

44:21.980 --> 44:22.980
I drink tea.

44:22.980 --> 44:24.980
What do you drink? Sea lion tea?

44:24.980 --> 44:25.980
No, orange piquenise.

44:25.980 --> 44:28.980
How much tea do you drink a day?

44:28.980 --> 44:29.980
About 12 glasses full.

44:29.980 --> 44:30.980
Salad of tea.

44:30.980 --> 44:31.980
Salad of tea.

44:31.980 --> 44:32.980
Salad of tea.

44:32.980 --> 44:33.980
I drink salad of tea too.

44:33.980 --> 44:35.980
You drink tea with lemon?

44:35.980 --> 44:36.980
I can't go lemon.

44:36.980 --> 44:37.980
Oh, you're allergic.

44:37.980 --> 44:38.980
Allergic?

44:38.980 --> 44:39.980
You're allergic.

44:39.980 --> 44:40.980
I don't know how I'm going to vote next year.

44:40.980 --> 44:41.980
Yeah, why don't you vote next year?

44:41.980 --> 44:42.980
What's the matter?

44:42.980 --> 44:43.980
I got a crick on my neck.

44:43.980 --> 44:44.980
What do you mean a crick?

44:44.980 --> 44:45.980
Doctor, I got rheumatism on the back of my neck.

44:45.980 --> 44:47.980
It's the back place I have rheumatism on the back of my neck.

44:47.980 --> 44:50.980
No, wherever you want a better place than on the back of your neck.

44:50.980 --> 44:51.980
On the back of your neck.

44:51.980 --> 44:52.980
Yeah, oh.

44:52.980 --> 44:55.980
You go to Mount Clemens for your rheumatism.

44:55.980 --> 44:56.980
Mount Clemens is a good place for rheumatism.

44:56.980 --> 44:59.980
Certainly, that's where I got mine.

44:59.980 --> 45:00.980
That's all.

45:00.980 --> 45:01.980
Oh, you could go to Switzerland.

45:01.980 --> 45:04.980
Now what can I do in Switzerland?

45:04.980 --> 45:05.980
You can sit there and switch.

45:05.980 --> 45:06.980
My chest hurts.

45:06.980 --> 45:07.980
I got biceiditis, everything.

45:07.980 --> 45:08.980
I don't know what's the matter.

45:08.980 --> 45:09.980
Don't worry.

45:09.980 --> 45:10.980
I will examination you with the stethoscope.

45:10.980 --> 45:11.980
Thank you.

45:11.980 --> 45:12.980
Don't worry about that.

45:12.980 --> 45:13.980
Take all decode.

45:13.980 --> 45:14.980
Take all decode to my boy.

45:14.980 --> 45:15.980
Take all decode to my boy.

45:15.980 --> 45:16.980
Take all, take all decode.

45:16.980 --> 45:17.980
Decode is all.

45:17.980 --> 45:36.980
Why are you blowing on the stethoscope?

45:36.980 --> 45:41.980
I'm blowing, I'm sterilizing the stethoscope.

45:41.980 --> 45:44.980
Everybody get your keys now.

45:44.980 --> 45:45.980
Yes, sir.

45:45.980 --> 45:47.980
I'm going to breathe.

45:47.980 --> 45:48.980
I got to breathe, doctor.

45:48.980 --> 45:49.980
I can't help it.

45:49.980 --> 45:50.980
Now I would like to see you inhale.

45:50.980 --> 45:51.980
Inhale, I would like to see you.

45:51.980 --> 45:52.980
Inhale, you would like to see me.

45:52.980 --> 45:53.980
Inhale, I would like to see you.

45:53.980 --> 45:54.980
Now keep your mouth wide open and say fish.

45:54.980 --> 45:55.980
Haring.

45:55.980 --> 45:56.980
Now stick out the tongue.

45:56.980 --> 45:57.980
Yeah.

45:57.980 --> 45:58.980
Way out more.

45:58.980 --> 45:59.980
Way out more.

45:59.980 --> 46:00.980
I can't, it's tight on the back here.

46:00.980 --> 46:01.980
Okay.

46:01.980 --> 46:16.980
Now I'm going to go back to the hymn.

46:16.980 --> 46:20.980
Please, I got no patience.

46:20.980 --> 46:21.980
You got no patience.

46:21.980 --> 46:22.980
Yeah.

46:22.980 --> 46:23.980
I shouldn't have been here either.

46:23.980 --> 46:24.980
Yeah.

46:24.980 --> 46:25.980
Stick out the tongue.

46:25.980 --> 46:26.980
Yeah.

46:26.980 --> 46:27.980
I've seen better tongues hang in a butcher shop.

46:27.980 --> 46:28.980
I've seen better doctors practicing with all the diploma.

46:28.980 --> 46:29.980
All right.

46:29.980 --> 46:32.980
Put on the coat.

46:32.980 --> 46:35.980
Put on the coat, my boy.

46:35.980 --> 46:38.980
Thank you for the concert, doctor.

46:38.980 --> 46:39.980
Yeah.

46:39.980 --> 46:40.980
You understand the whole case?

46:40.980 --> 46:42.980
Yeah, the whole table of the shoes, you need eyeglasses.

46:42.980 --> 46:46.980
I suppose if I had a headache, I would need an umbrella.

46:46.980 --> 46:47.980
No, no, you're right.

46:47.980 --> 46:48.980
Now, now you, now-

46:48.980 --> 46:49.980
Well, what do I owe you?

46:49.980 --> 46:50.980
Ah, you owe me $10 for you.

46:50.980 --> 46:51.980
For what?

46:51.980 --> 46:52.980
That's for my fee.

46:52.980 --> 46:53.980
$10 for your fee?

46:53.980 --> 46:54.980
$10 for my advice.

46:54.980 --> 46:55.980
Your advice?

46:55.980 --> 46:56.980
That's right.

46:56.980 --> 46:57.980
Well, doctor, here's $2.

46:57.980 --> 46:58.980
Take it.

46:58.980 --> 47:02.980
Why, you cheapskate, you come in here, you cock-a-mini, and waste me a half an hour of

47:02.980 --> 47:03.980
my time.

47:03.980 --> 47:04.980
One more word from you, you'll only get a dollar.

47:04.980 --> 47:05.980
Why?

47:05.980 --> 47:06.980
That's the word.

47:06.980 --> 47:25.980
Here's a dollar.

47:25.980 --> 47:31.980
And now here is another real old team, my darlings, Bing Crosby and Bob Hope.

47:31.980 --> 47:34.980
Bob, do you realize we only have one thing in common?

47:34.980 --> 47:36.980
Hardly enough for a happy marriage, is it?

47:36.980 --> 47:37.980
What's that mean?

47:37.980 --> 47:38.980
Chesterfields, of course.

47:38.980 --> 47:39.980
We both like them, we both sell them.

47:39.980 --> 47:40.980
And we'd better get to selling them now.

47:40.980 --> 47:45.300
You know, folks, better tasting Chesterfield is the only cigarette that combines for you

47:45.300 --> 47:47.380
mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste.

47:47.380 --> 47:48.580
How do you know they're mild?

47:48.580 --> 47:50.140
Well, you just make our mildness test.

47:50.140 --> 47:52.780
You buy them, open them up and enjoy that mildly aroma.

47:52.780 --> 47:54.340
Then smoke a Chesterfield.

47:54.340 --> 47:56.260
You'll know it's milder because it smokes milder.

47:56.260 --> 47:58.420
And Chesterfield leaves no unpleasant aftertaste.

47:58.420 --> 48:02.540
That fact has been confirmed by the country's first and only cigarette taste panel.

48:02.540 --> 48:04.460
So always buy Chesterfield.

48:04.460 --> 48:05.460
Let's sum it up musically.

48:05.460 --> 48:06.460
Chesterfield, Chesterfield always takes first place.

48:06.460 --> 48:07.460
That milder mild tobacco never leaves an aftertaste.

48:07.460 --> 48:08.460
Ho ho, open the pack and give them a smell.

48:08.460 --> 48:09.460
Then you'll smoke them.

48:09.460 --> 48:29.340
Well, I'm having a wonderful time listening to these great acts of an earlier day in show

48:29.340 --> 48:30.340
business.

48:30.340 --> 48:31.340
Pardon me, Toulouse?

48:31.340 --> 48:32.340
Yes, Jimmy, darling.

48:32.340 --> 48:37.260
Aren't you getting a kick out of these show business classics?

48:37.260 --> 48:39.260
I'm pretty classic myself.

48:39.260 --> 48:43.860
Of course, you may think I'm too young compared to these old timers, but I remember there

48:43.860 --> 48:48.260
used to be an actor on Broadway called Clayton Jackson and some other fellow.

48:48.260 --> 48:49.260
Durante.

48:49.260 --> 49:00.260
Anyway, they used to do a song, them three fellows, Clayton Jackson and that other fellow.

49:00.260 --> 49:01.740
A Durante, darling.

49:01.740 --> 49:03.740
Who can pronounce them foreign names?

49:03.740 --> 49:07.860
And I would like to do a song they used to do with the help of this young fellow here

49:07.860 --> 49:08.860
with me.

49:08.860 --> 49:09.860
His name is Eddie Jackson.

49:09.860 --> 49:18.860
How do you do, Mr. Jackson?

49:18.860 --> 49:19.860
Howdy.

49:19.860 --> 49:22.980
Always glad to give a young team a helping hand.

49:22.980 --> 49:30.220
Mr. Durante and Mr. Jackson, the stage is yours.

49:30.220 --> 49:32.220
Hello.

49:32.220 --> 49:36.780
Who is this?

49:36.780 --> 49:37.780
Isabelle?

49:37.780 --> 49:40.780
I'm a young lady.

49:40.780 --> 49:43.780
My name is Isabelle Jackson.

49:43.780 --> 49:47.780
I'm a young man.

49:47.780 --> 49:50.780
I'm a young man.

49:50.780 --> 49:55.780
My name is Isabelle Jackson.

49:55.780 --> 49:58.780
I'm a young man.

49:58.780 --> 50:01.780
My name is Isabelle Jackson.

50:01.780 --> 50:10.780
I'm a young man.

50:10.780 --> 50:21.780
My name is Isabelle Jackson.

50:21.780 --> 50:25.780
I'm a young lady.

50:25.780 --> 50:29.780
Won't you come home, Bill Bailey? Won't you come home?

50:29.780 --> 50:30.780
Sing it!

50:30.780 --> 50:32.780
Hurry up, all the whole day long!

50:32.780 --> 50:33.780
Bailey!

50:33.780 --> 50:36.780
I'm gonna do that cooking, darling, pay all that rent.

50:36.780 --> 50:39.780
Baby, I know I've done you wrong.

50:39.780 --> 50:40.780
Bailey, get back home!

50:40.780 --> 50:43.780
Oh, remember that old rainy evening, honey, you drove me out.

50:43.780 --> 50:44.780
Shame on you!

50:44.780 --> 50:48.780
With nothing but a pine to comb, you drove me out.

50:48.780 --> 50:50.780
Well, I'm gonna find the blame, baby.

50:50.780 --> 50:55.780
Ain't it a shame, Bill Bailey, won't you please come home?

50:55.780 --> 50:56.780
Let me hear that band!

51:08.780 --> 51:10.780
It's just like we played on the regular.

51:10.780 --> 51:14.780
Now remember that rainy evening, you drove me out.

51:14.780 --> 51:17.780
With nothing but a pine to comb.

51:17.780 --> 51:20.780
Yeah, baby, I'm the one to blame.

51:20.780 --> 51:22.780
Honey, ain't it a shame?

51:22.780 --> 51:26.780
Bill Bailey, won't you please come home?

51:26.780 --> 51:29.780
Now, Bill Bailey, where you hiding? Where you been?

51:29.780 --> 51:33.780
Yeah, you've been away a long time, brother. That's a sin.

51:33.780 --> 51:37.780
Now, if someone only knew just where you could be found.

51:37.780 --> 51:41.780
We'd all go out and find you, make you come around.

51:41.780 --> 51:43.780
Won't you come home, Bill Bailey?

51:43.780 --> 51:44.780
Won't you come home?

51:44.780 --> 51:49.780
Brother, I'm old and wholly lost.

51:49.780 --> 51:50.780
Do the cooking, darling.

51:50.780 --> 51:52.780
I'll pay the rent, sir.

51:52.780 --> 51:55.780
Yes, and I know I've done you wrong.

51:55.780 --> 51:59.780
Eddie, if Bailey ain't on his way home by now, it's not our fault.

51:59.780 --> 52:00.780
Why, he might be home already.

52:00.780 --> 52:03.780
I hope so. Isabelle wants to apologize.

52:03.780 --> 52:07.780
She says, I'm to blame. Darling, ain't it a shame?

52:07.780 --> 52:09.780
Bill Bailey, won't you please come home?

52:09.780 --> 52:15.780
We'll see you later. Bill Bailey, won't you please come home?

52:15.780 --> 52:42.780
The next time you suffer from pains of headache, neuritis or neuralgia, take Anasone.

52:42.780 --> 52:47.780
You'll bless the day you heard of this incredibly fast way to relieve these pains.

52:47.780 --> 52:52.780
Now, the reason Anasone is so wonderfully fast-acting and effective is this.

52:52.780 --> 52:54.780
Anasone is like a doctor's prescription.

52:54.780 --> 53:02.780
That is, Anasone contains not just one, but a combination of medically proven active ingredients in easy-to-take tablet form.

53:02.780 --> 53:07.780
Thousands of people have received envelopes containing Anasone tablets from their own dentist or physician.

53:07.780 --> 53:14.780
And in this way, discovered the incredibly fast relief Anasone brings from pains of headache, neuritis or neuralgia.

53:14.780 --> 53:20.780
So, the next time a headache strikes, take Anasone for this wonderfully fast relief.

53:20.780 --> 53:25.780
Anasone, A-N-A-C-I-N. Anasone comes in handy boxes of 12 and 30,

53:25.780 --> 53:29.780
economical family-sized bottles of 50 and 100.

53:29.780 --> 53:41.780
Get Anasone at any drug counter.

53:41.780 --> 53:43.780
Well, darlings, there's more to come.

53:43.780 --> 53:46.780
Not only another great classic comedian, Mr. Jack Pearl,

53:46.780 --> 53:52.780
but also coming back are Evelyn Knight, Billy Eckstein, Jimmy Durante, Celeste Holm, Meryl Wilson and everybody else.

53:52.780 --> 53:55.780
But first, Ed Herlihy wants to say...

53:55.780 --> 53:59.780
This portion of the program has been brought to you by RCA Victor, world leader in radio,

53:59.780 --> 54:03.780
first in recorded music, first in television, and by Chesterfield,

54:03.780 --> 54:09.780
the cigarette that has for you what every smoker wants, mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste,

54:09.780 --> 54:16.780
the best cigarette for you to smoke, and by the makers of Anasone for fast relief from the pain of headache, neuritis and neuralgia.

54:16.780 --> 54:19.780
And now to the left, if you'll bring your chimes.

54:19.780 --> 54:25.780
Of course, Ed. This, darlings, is NBC, the national broadcasting company.

54:49.780 --> 55:01.780
This is the big show, and Tallulah is about to introduce another great classic act of the theater.

55:01.780 --> 55:04.780
Some years ago, everybody walked around saying,

55:04.780 --> 55:11.780
Vosha dare, Charlie? A catchphrase made famous by the great Baron Munchausen.

55:11.780 --> 55:13.780
In other words, Jack Pearl.

55:13.780 --> 55:27.780
Mr. Pearl with his famous sidekick, Charlie, Mr. Cliff Hall.

55:27.780 --> 55:29.780
Well, Baron, I'm delighted to see you.

55:29.780 --> 55:32.780
Well, Charlie, of all the people in the whole world.

55:32.780 --> 55:34.780
I haven't seen you in a long time. Where have you been?

55:34.780 --> 55:35.780
I just come back from Dordesign.

55:35.780 --> 55:36.780
Oh, you did, eh?

55:36.780 --> 55:37.780
Yeah, I just come back.

55:37.780 --> 55:38.780
How did you get over here?

55:38.780 --> 55:39.780
I came over on a ship.

55:39.780 --> 55:41.780
You came on a what?

55:41.780 --> 55:42.780
I came over on a ship.

55:42.780 --> 55:45.780
No, no, no. You mean a ship, a boat, a vessel.

55:45.780 --> 55:49.780
One is enough, you know. I just come over.

55:49.780 --> 55:50.780
Was it a fast ship?

55:50.780 --> 55:51.780
Oh, very fast.

55:51.780 --> 55:52.780
How fast was it?

55:52.780 --> 55:54.780
Oh, we was making over 60 miles an hour.

55:54.780 --> 55:55.780
No, no, no, no.

55:55.780 --> 55:56.780
The ship was...

55:56.780 --> 55:57.780
You mean you were making 60 knots an hour?

55:57.780 --> 55:59.780
No, no. We was making 60 miles an hour.

55:59.780 --> 56:01.780
No, no, Baron. Nautically speaking, it's knots.

56:01.780 --> 56:03.780
Now, I was on the boat. I tell you, miles.

56:03.780 --> 56:05.780
All right, Baron. Miles to you.

56:05.780 --> 56:08.780
All right. Not still. All right.

56:08.780 --> 56:10.780
I don't want to have no argument with you.

56:10.780 --> 56:11.780
How was the food aboard the ship, Baron?

56:11.780 --> 56:12.780
The food was just so-so.

56:12.780 --> 56:13.780
Oh, just so-so.

56:13.780 --> 56:14.780
You know something, Charlie?

56:14.780 --> 56:16.780
With every meal I had to eat soup.

56:16.780 --> 56:17.780
With every meal you had to eat soup?

56:17.780 --> 56:18.780
I had to eat soup.

56:18.780 --> 56:19.780
Was it compulsory?

56:19.780 --> 56:22.780
You see, I was... Hello?

56:22.780 --> 56:23.780
I say, was it compulsory?

56:23.780 --> 56:25.780
No. Tomato soup.

56:25.780 --> 56:26.780
Oh, tomato.

56:26.780 --> 56:27.780
Tomato.

56:27.780 --> 56:28.780
We didn't have compulsory.

56:28.780 --> 56:30.780
Oh, say, by the way, Baron, just a moment.

56:30.780 --> 56:34.780
Did you know that Jimmy Durante has been looking all over this theater for you with a gun?

56:34.780 --> 56:38.780
What do you mean? He's looking for me with a revolver?

56:38.780 --> 56:39.780
With a what?

56:39.780 --> 56:43.780
I say he's looking for me with a revolver.

56:43.780 --> 56:44.780
With a revolver, yes.

56:44.780 --> 56:46.780
Why? Why he's looking for me? Why?

56:46.780 --> 56:48.780
Well, he said that you called him a dirty name.

56:48.780 --> 56:49.780
I called him a dirty name?

56:49.780 --> 56:51.780
He said that you swore at him.

56:51.780 --> 56:52.780
Oh, what a liar!

56:52.780 --> 56:53.780
Now, wait. Now, wait.

56:53.780 --> 56:54.780
Listen, he has the beer.

56:54.780 --> 56:56.780
Now, wait. Now, don't get excited. You'll get high blood pressure.

56:56.780 --> 56:58.780
No, not me. I'm anemic. No.

56:58.780 --> 56:59.780
Oh, too bad.

56:59.780 --> 57:02.780
Now, listen, Charlie, I give you my solemn word.

57:02.780 --> 57:05.780
I never called him a dirty name, and I never swore at him.

57:05.780 --> 57:06.780
Well, then how did it happen?

57:06.780 --> 57:07.780
Here's how that comes out, just like it was.

57:07.780 --> 57:08.780
All right.

57:08.780 --> 57:09.780
What day is today?

57:09.780 --> 57:10.780
Today?

57:10.780 --> 57:11.780
Yeah.

57:11.780 --> 57:12.780
Day is Sunday.

57:12.780 --> 57:13.780
Sunday. That was four days back.

57:13.780 --> 57:14.780
That was Wednesdays.

57:14.780 --> 57:16.780
You see, I'm going out with my...

57:16.780 --> 57:17.780
Wait a minute. What day did you say?

57:17.780 --> 57:18.780
Wednesdays.

57:18.780 --> 57:19.780
No.

57:19.780 --> 57:20.780
I was going...

57:20.780 --> 57:21.780
You mean Wednesday.

57:21.780 --> 57:23.780
Yeah, in the center of the week, like...

57:23.780 --> 57:27.780
Wednesday, Wednesday, named after the god Woden.

57:27.780 --> 57:28.780
No.

57:28.780 --> 57:31.780
Wednesdays is named after Tuesday.

57:31.780 --> 57:32.780
Oh, sure.

57:32.780 --> 57:37.780
Listen, Charlie, you see, Wednesdays, I was going in the contrary with my car.

57:37.780 --> 57:38.780
I see.

57:38.780 --> 57:39.780
Well, as I'm driving...

57:39.780 --> 57:42.780
Wait a minute. Tell me, what time of the day was this?

57:42.780 --> 57:44.780
Oh, this was maybe nine o'clock.

57:44.780 --> 57:45.780
Nine o'clock?

57:45.780 --> 57:46.780
Nine o'clock.

57:46.780 --> 57:47.780
Nine o'clock a.m. or p.m.?

57:47.780 --> 57:48.780
So I'm going...

57:48.780 --> 57:49.780
What was that?

57:49.780 --> 57:50.780
What?

57:50.780 --> 57:59.780
I said, was it nine o'clock a.m. or p.m.?

57:59.780 --> 58:00.780
So I'm going out with my car.

58:00.780 --> 58:01.780
As I'm going...

58:01.780 --> 58:03.780
Why don't you answer my question?

58:03.780 --> 58:06.780
Was it nine o'clock a.m. or p.m.?

58:06.780 --> 58:07.780
No, no, no.

58:07.780 --> 58:08.780
That's not nice.

58:08.780 --> 58:09.780
What's not nice?

58:09.780 --> 58:10.780
I don't like that.

58:10.780 --> 58:11.780
Now, you hear that?

58:11.780 --> 58:12.780
Now, don't say...

58:12.780 --> 58:13.780
What are you talking about?

58:13.780 --> 58:14.780
I know what that is.

58:14.780 --> 58:15.780
Now, don't say that.

58:15.780 --> 58:16.780
Oh, you do?

58:16.780 --> 58:17.780
I'm going out with my car.

58:17.780 --> 58:18.780
All right, all right.

58:18.780 --> 58:19.780
Wait a minute.

58:19.780 --> 58:20.780
I don't like...

58:20.780 --> 58:21.780
You know what it is?

58:21.780 --> 58:22.780
Yeah.

58:22.780 --> 58:23.780
Well, what is it?

58:23.780 --> 58:24.780
About the farmer's daughter.

58:24.780 --> 58:25.780
I don't like...

58:25.780 --> 58:26.780
I don't like...

58:26.780 --> 58:27.780
Just a minute.

58:27.780 --> 58:28.780
Now, when you calm yourself, look.

58:28.780 --> 58:29.780
Yeah.

58:29.780 --> 58:30.780
I'll make this a little more clear to you.

58:30.780 --> 58:31.780
Yeah?

58:31.780 --> 58:32.780
Was it nine o'clock before noon or afternoon?

58:32.780 --> 58:33.780
Yeah.

58:33.780 --> 58:34.780
That's good.

58:34.780 --> 58:35.780
That's good.

58:35.780 --> 58:36.780
I'm actually going to...

58:36.780 --> 58:42.460
Look, will you please tell me the time of the day you were driving in the country?

58:42.460 --> 58:43.460
Nine o'clock.

58:43.460 --> 58:45.460
Nine o'clock AM or PM?

58:45.460 --> 58:46.460
No, AZ, that was.

58:46.460 --> 58:47.460
AZ?

58:47.460 --> 58:48.460
AZ.

58:48.460 --> 58:49.460
What do you mean, AZ?

58:49.460 --> 58:50.460
After supper.

58:50.460 --> 58:51.460
After supper.

58:51.460 --> 58:52.460
What?

58:52.460 --> 58:53.460
Nine o'clock.

58:53.460 --> 58:54.460
Nine o'clock after supper.

58:54.460 --> 58:55.460
Yeah.

58:55.460 --> 58:56.460
We was going in the country.

58:56.460 --> 58:57.460
We?

58:57.460 --> 58:58.460
We was.

58:58.460 --> 58:59.460
Who's we?

58:59.460 --> 59:00.460
My sweetheart and myself.

59:00.460 --> 59:01.460
What?

59:01.460 --> 59:02.460
You keeping company with a girl?

59:02.460 --> 59:03.460
What do you think?

59:03.460 --> 59:06.460
Me the horse?

59:06.460 --> 59:07.460
Me the cat.

59:07.460 --> 59:08.460
The girl, huh?

59:08.460 --> 59:09.460
Oh, she's some cat.

59:09.460 --> 59:10.460
Nice girl.

59:10.460 --> 59:11.460
I'm crazy over that one.

59:11.460 --> 59:12.460
So she...

59:12.460 --> 59:13.460
Don't be mad.

59:13.460 --> 59:14.460
Is your girl blonde, brunette or T-shirt?

59:14.460 --> 59:15.460
Yeah.

59:15.460 --> 59:16.460
So we going...

59:16.460 --> 59:17.460
Is she what?

59:17.460 --> 59:18.460
I say, is your girl blonde, brunette or T-shirt?

59:18.460 --> 59:19.460
No, go ahead.

59:19.460 --> 59:20.460
She's a Polak.

59:20.460 --> 59:21.460
You don't know who she is.

59:21.460 --> 59:22.460
You don't know.

59:22.460 --> 59:23.460
You mean, you mean she...

59:23.460 --> 59:24.460
You mean she's a Polak.

59:24.460 --> 59:25.460
She's a Polak.

59:25.460 --> 59:26.460
She's a Polak.

59:26.460 --> 59:27.460
She's a Polak.

59:27.460 --> 59:28.460
She's a Polak.

59:28.460 --> 59:29.460
She's a Polak.

59:29.460 --> 59:30.460
She's a Polak.

59:30.460 --> 59:31.460
She's a Polak.

59:31.460 --> 59:32.460
She's a Polak.

59:32.460 --> 59:33.460
She's a Polak.

59:33.460 --> 59:34.460
She's a Polak.

59:34.460 --> 59:35.460
She's a Polak.

59:33.460 --> 59:35.460
So she...

59:35.460 --> 59:36.460
Is she...

59:36.460 --> 59:37.460
You don't know who she is.

59:37.460 --> 59:39.460
She's a Polish extraction.

59:39.460 --> 59:41.460
No, no, Polish peepers.

59:41.460 --> 59:42.460
Well, that's the same.

59:42.460 --> 59:43.460
Her modern father is Polish...

59:43.460 --> 59:44.460
Well yeah, is she Czech or Yugoslav?

59:44.460 --> 59:45.460
So we going for...

59:45.460 --> 59:46.460
I beg your stop.

59:46.460 --> 59:47.460
Excuse me.

59:47.460 --> 59:50.460
I say is she Czechoslav or Yugoslav.

59:50.460 --> 59:51.460
Good natured Slav.

59:51.460 --> 59:52.460
I don't know her.

59:52.460 --> 59:53.460
Are you telling me?

59:53.460 --> 59:54.460
He don't know.

59:54.460 --> 59:55.460
So listen.

59:55.460 --> 59:56.820
So we got...

59:56.820 --> 01:00:00.460
So Pretty One New littered in dressed up in...

01:00:00.460 --> 01:00:01.460
So the crazy lady...

01:00:01.460 --> 01:00:07.220
So we're all Charlie. I want to ask you one thing right ahead. Did you ever was in love? Oh, I've been in love

01:00:07.220 --> 01:00:09.220
Yeah, you know

01:00:09.220 --> 01:00:11.380
You know how love is this? Yes, of course we

01:00:12.180 --> 01:00:18.060
We was going in the woods. Oh, you see you were you went in the woods to cogitate. Yeah, so when we

01:00:18.060 --> 01:00:29.700
I went for what what I mean? I say you went in the woods to cogitate

01:00:29.700 --> 01:00:31.700
Welcome to that later

01:00:31.700 --> 01:00:33.700
You're home

01:00:33.700 --> 01:00:35.700
So we going to listen

01:00:35.700 --> 01:00:40.700
Oh, now wait a minute. Look, that is the dumbest thing I think I've ever heard you say in my life

01:00:40.700 --> 01:00:45.660
Now why you say that I'm dumb? Well, because I think you're dumb. Now I'm just so smart as you now what you think of that?

01:00:45.660 --> 01:00:49.540
There's no time to argue. Please. You know, I was never in school so long

01:00:49.540 --> 01:00:50.620
I live or you were never in school

01:00:50.620 --> 01:00:53.140
You know that when you know then when I was seven years old

01:00:53.140 --> 01:00:58.380
I was working supporting my mother on my father when you were seven years old you were where were you working?

01:00:58.380 --> 01:01:03.380
I mean the old country you were working in the old country. Yeah, I was the board of my mother

01:01:03.620 --> 01:01:09.260
And my father whereabouts in the old country were you working at seven in Holland where I was born. All right

01:01:09.660 --> 01:01:13.980
What father why whereabouts in Holland we were what sort of work we do and I was working on a farm

01:01:13.980 --> 01:01:17.180
You're working on it was 70 years old. What sort of work were you doing on the farm?

01:01:17.220 --> 01:01:21.460
What you called it here in America? I was a pilot when I was seven

01:01:21.460 --> 01:01:27.180
I was a what pilot you were a pilot on a farm. Yeah, when I was what are the duties of a pilot on a farm?

01:01:27.860 --> 01:01:29.860
My boss used to say pilot

01:01:29.860 --> 01:01:32.860
All right, I

01:01:41.700 --> 01:01:44.260
Tell you what I do with you what I bet you five dollars

01:01:44.260 --> 01:01:49.380
Oh, you see so smart you are so do my m I could answer my question where you could not answer yours

01:01:49.380 --> 01:01:51.720
Now, wait a minute. Let me understand you want to bet me five dollars

01:01:51.720 --> 01:01:56.020
You can answer your question where I can't answer. Yeah, I bet you five dollars. All right, the bet is on all right

01:01:56.020 --> 01:02:00.060
Have you got five dollars with you? Yes, I think so if you win trust me

01:02:01.820 --> 01:02:07.700
Did you ever watch in the woods I say did you ever watch in the woods did I ever watch in the way?

01:02:07.700 --> 01:02:10.420
Yeah, your grammar is bad. Yeah, she's an old lady

01:02:13.620 --> 01:02:15.620
In the woods, did you ever see holly's

01:02:16.540 --> 01:02:18.540
Did I ever see what I?

01:02:18.540 --> 01:02:24.700
Fledger is never see holly. What are you talking? Oh holly? How you see it? Oh, oh, oh

01:02:27.380 --> 01:02:29.380
What kind of robot?

01:02:29.700 --> 01:02:31.140
What guy?

01:02:31.140 --> 01:02:36.020
Robert Robert hurts rabbit. Oh, yeah. Yes. I've seen rabbit. I do wait. Do you know understand?

01:02:36.020 --> 01:02:40.460
Yes, do you know how the rabbit makes that hole without leaving any dirt around?

01:02:40.460 --> 01:02:44.340
Do I know how the rabbit makes the hole without leaving any dirt around? Yeah, do you know that well now?

01:02:44.340 --> 01:02:47.860
That's a very difficult question and I must admit I can't answer it. Can you could I yeah?

01:02:47.860 --> 01:02:54.660
That is my question on the most entrance right they start from the bottom and they dig up and I never was

01:02:56.100 --> 01:03:00.340
I have you now. How does the rabbit get to the bottom in order to dig to the top?

01:03:00.340 --> 01:03:19.900
That's your question you answer it.

01:03:20.580 --> 01:03:28.180
The presence of such show business immortals as our guest tonight on the big show and the fact that this month marks the 13th anniversary

01:03:28.180 --> 01:03:30.100
of his passing

01:03:30.100 --> 01:03:36.380
Reminds us that there is another great name that deserves to take his place in that company the Boswell of the 30s

01:03:36.620 --> 01:03:42.620
the affectionate and understanding historian of our turbulent youth the late old McIntyre I

01:03:43.100 --> 01:03:50.180
Feel that a close friend is better qualified than an ardent admirer to pay tribute to odd McIntyre and so darlings

01:03:50.180 --> 01:03:58.180
I'd like to call upon Meredith Wilson

01:03:59.420 --> 01:04:03.660
Yes, Tallulah I was a friend of odds and an admirer of his tool

01:04:04.100 --> 01:04:07.260
But people like me can be counted in the millions across this country

01:04:07.820 --> 01:04:14.140
Because every reader of McIntyre's was both a friend and an admirer and I'll bet if we listen real close

01:04:14.660 --> 01:04:19.260
We can hear the rustle of those aging clippings still kept on a shelf

01:04:19.260 --> 01:04:23.260
Still read of an evening at home. Yes, Meredith odds was a quiet

01:04:23.780 --> 01:04:30.020
Small voice of the hometown boy lost in the wonders of the big city and our best tribute to odd McIntyre

01:04:30.420 --> 01:04:33.500
Would be to let that voice speak again in words in music

01:04:33.980 --> 01:04:38.780
The music is from Meredith Wilson symphonic composition the OO McIntyre suite

01:04:39.300 --> 01:04:41.300
written before odds death

01:04:41.580 --> 01:04:44.540
Meredith and his officer who played the movement called

01:04:44.540 --> 01:04:52.180
Thoughts while strolling and I will read the words from one of odds most famous columns still read and cherished over all America

01:04:52.180 --> 01:05:14.540
first the music thoughts while strolling

01:05:52.180 --> 01:05:54.380
Ah

01:06:22.180 --> 01:06:24.180
Ah

01:06:41.380 --> 01:06:45.260
We hear now the words of odd McIntyre as he spoke to us

01:06:45.260 --> 01:06:51.780
Gave us his thoughts while strolling from one of his most famous columns

01:06:52.500 --> 01:06:54.180
Fifth Avenue

01:06:54.180 --> 01:06:56.180
Street of dreams and enchanted

01:06:56.780 --> 01:06:58.780
Street of tragedy

01:06:58.940 --> 01:07:00.620
personal tragedy

01:07:00.620 --> 01:07:03.140
But here is where I lost my dearest friend

01:07:03.820 --> 01:07:05.820
my dog

01:07:05.860 --> 01:07:11.620
Brothers and sisters. I bid you beware of giving your hearts to a dog to tear

01:07:11.620 --> 01:07:17.660
Age of the happiest years of my life was spent in the almost constant companionship of a devoted dog

01:07:18.460 --> 01:07:21.420
When he was taken from me, I grieved and consoled me

01:07:22.300 --> 01:07:24.300
For weeks, I walked the streets at night

01:07:24.820 --> 01:07:26.820
Trying to get hold of myself

01:07:27.140 --> 01:07:31.940
My dog's name is Junior. He was a Boston Bulldog weighing 24 pounds

01:07:32.660 --> 01:07:37.020
He was full of joyous life and never outgrew his prankishness

01:07:37.020 --> 01:07:42.140
I picked him up in the Fifth Avenue dog shop in much the same manner that one buys a trinket

01:07:42.620 --> 01:07:44.620
I thought he was cute

01:07:45.140 --> 01:07:51.980
He was four weeks old and he trotted sideways with mock seriousness. I took him home in my overcoat pocket

01:07:53.100 --> 01:07:57.300
From that day on for eight years. He played a big part in my life

01:07:58.300 --> 01:08:01.940
He came to understand me better than most of my human associates

01:08:01.940 --> 01:08:07.140
He knew his time for play and my time for work. He did not trespass

01:08:08.300 --> 01:08:10.780
For six years, he never valid five minutes

01:08:11.260 --> 01:08:16.180
But the stroke of five o'clock in the evening and coming to me with his rubber ball in his mouth

01:08:16.500 --> 01:08:20.100
That was his hour for romp. He demanded his hour

01:08:20.980 --> 01:08:24.100
One of my great faults has always been a lack of punctuality

01:08:24.820 --> 01:08:29.020
But I was always on the dot to keep the romping appointment with you

01:08:29.020 --> 01:08:34.340
One day I got to thinking about this and the results was that I became more careful

01:08:35.140 --> 01:08:40.300
Surely I should show humans as much consideration as I showed my dog

01:08:41.900 --> 01:08:48.180
For several years Junior and his mistress and I used to walk around the gravel path of a Central Park reservoir

01:08:48.700 --> 01:08:51.420
In New York at dusk after his romp

01:08:52.300 --> 01:08:31.020
At such times I would admit him to frolic and

01:08:31.020 --> 01:08:33.220
the grass unleashed from the lid was ancient digital

01:08:34.220 --> 01:08:37.300
Yet he was a modern kid

01:08:38.900 --> 01:08:45.740
He lived the life he unfortunately transferred his family and his worldlykt

01:08:47.140 --> 01:08:49.500
While he was living in the city of MDC

01:08:50.220 --> 01:08:35.760
Surely the

01:08:35.760 --> 01:08:39.120
And the result was that I became more careful.

01:08:39.120 --> 01:08:45.760
Slowly, I should show humans as much consideration as I showed my dog.

01:08:45.760 --> 01:08:48.760
For several years, Junior and his mistress and I

01:08:48.760 --> 01:08:52.760
used to walk around the gravel path of a Central Park reservoir

01:08:52.760 --> 01:08:56.260
in New York at dusk after his romp.

01:08:56.260 --> 01:08:59.760
At such times, I would admit him to frolic and roll

01:08:59.760 --> 01:09:02.760
in the grass unleashed and unmuzzled.

01:09:02.760 --> 01:09:05.760
One evening, however, he disappeared in a clump of bushes

01:09:05.760 --> 01:09:08.760
and refused to come out of my call and whistled.

01:09:08.760 --> 01:09:12.760
I followed him and found him squatting beside a stray dog

01:09:12.760 --> 01:09:15.760
that had been injured by a passing automobile.

01:09:15.760 --> 01:09:20.760
We called the bider we home and the hurt creature was taken to it and cured.

01:09:20.760 --> 01:09:24.760
This incident gave me some serious moments of introspection.

01:09:24.760 --> 01:09:28.760
How often, I asked myself, had I stopped along the roadside

01:09:28.760 --> 01:09:32.760
to comfort the stricken and forlorn.

01:09:32.760 --> 01:09:35.760
We did not continue the walk home just then.

01:09:35.760 --> 01:09:38.760
Instead, we left Millionaire's Row,

01:09:38.760 --> 01:09:41.760
wandered over to the squalid section of New York's east side,

01:09:41.760 --> 01:09:45.760
and mounted the rickety stairs of a crowded tenement.

01:09:45.760 --> 01:09:49.760
There we sat at the bedside of an old copter who had lived in our neighborhood

01:09:49.760 --> 01:09:52.760
who had been stricken with the fatal illness.

01:09:52.760 --> 01:09:55.760
We paid a small rent, had some food sent to him,

01:09:55.760 --> 01:09:58.760
and were occasional visitors until the end.

01:09:58.760 --> 01:10:02.760
I do not do so much of this sort of thing as I should,

01:10:02.760 --> 01:10:08.760
but the credit for what little I have done is due to Junior.

01:10:08.760 --> 01:10:11.760
Here is one incident which I hesitate to tell.

01:10:11.760 --> 01:10:14.760
More than likely it is the Mirris coincidence,

01:10:14.760 --> 01:10:18.760
but it is set down here just as it happened.

01:10:18.760 --> 01:10:22.760
Junior accompanied me one summer to my little hometown in Missouri

01:10:22.760 --> 01:10:26.760
and together we went one afternoon to the cemetery to visit the grave of my mother.

01:10:26.760 --> 01:10:29.760
It had been a number of years since I had been there,

01:10:29.760 --> 01:10:34.760
and the place had become so strange to me that I wanted around for half an hour

01:10:34.760 --> 01:10:36.760
in an effort to find the grave.

01:10:36.760 --> 01:10:39.760
Finally, I gave it up as hopeless.

01:10:39.760 --> 01:10:44.760
Looking around for Junior, I saw him lying down about 100 yards away.

01:10:44.760 --> 01:10:49.760
He didn't seem inclined to come to me, so I went to him,

01:10:49.760 --> 01:10:54.760
and I found that he was resting at the side of my mother's grave.

01:10:54.760 --> 01:11:01.760
I come to the final chapter of Junior's life with tears that are shed unashamed.

01:11:01.760 --> 01:11:05.760
Junior, like all good dogs, was faithful to the end.

01:11:05.760 --> 01:11:11.760
He died obeying my command, which made his loss all the more tragic to me.

01:11:11.760 --> 01:11:15.760
It was late at night, little traffic on Fifth Avenue.

01:11:15.760 --> 01:11:17.760
I took off his leash.

01:11:17.760 --> 01:11:20.760
He had been trained to wait at the curb until he received the command,

01:11:20.760 --> 01:11:24.760
Go, then he would race across like a flash.

01:11:24.760 --> 01:11:27.760
I stepped to the curb and looked for traffic.

01:11:27.760 --> 01:11:29.760
There seemed to be none.

01:11:29.760 --> 01:11:31.760
I shouted, Go.

01:11:31.760 --> 01:11:33.760
Junior was offered a bound.

01:11:33.760 --> 01:11:38.760
At that instant, a party of reckless joy riders swung madly around the corner,

01:11:38.760 --> 01:11:40.760
and Junior was hit.

01:11:40.760 --> 01:11:45.760
He staggered to his feet, and as I lifted him in my arms,

01:11:45.760 --> 01:11:52.760
he looked up with his soft, pleading eyes, begging for the help I could not give.

01:11:52.760 --> 01:11:56.760
Handing a taxi cab, I hurried to my hotel a few blocks away,

01:11:56.760 --> 01:12:03.760
but before I'd reached there, he died without even a whimper of pain.

01:12:03.760 --> 01:12:10.760
He lies buried today in the picturesque dog cemetery on the sloping hills near New York.

01:12:10.760 --> 01:12:13.760
Yes, it's true what Kippling wrote.

01:12:13.760 --> 01:12:41.760
Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware of giving your hearts to a dog to tear.

01:12:41.760 --> 01:12:55.760
I bid you beware of giving your hearts to a dog to tear.

01:13:11.760 --> 01:13:20.640
Continuing with the great classics of show business, popular music too has survived the

01:13:20.640 --> 01:13:25.640
march of years. We have picked a medley of songs which were great in their time and which

01:13:25.640 --> 01:13:30.780
today are enjoying huge success as revivals. Melodyth Wilson, his big show orchestra and

01:13:30.780 --> 01:13:36.760
chorus assisted by Evelyn Knight, Billy Eckstein and Celeste Holm will present that medley.

01:13:36.760 --> 01:13:43.760
Melodyth darling, if you please.

01:14:06.760 --> 01:14:13.760
Melodyth darling, if you please.

01:14:36.760 --> 01:14:43.760
If I told a lie, if I made you cry, when I said goodbye, I'm sorry.

01:14:43.760 --> 01:15:06.760
When I said goodbye, I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart, dear, I apologize.

01:15:06.760 --> 01:15:20.760
If I caused you pain, I know I am to blame. Must have been insane, believe me.

01:15:20.760 --> 01:15:41.760
From the bottom of my heart, dear, I apologize. I realize I've been unfair to you.

01:15:41.760 --> 01:15:56.760
Please let me make amends. Don't say that you forgot the love we knew.

01:15:56.760 --> 01:16:04.760
After all, we were more than friends.

01:16:04.760 --> 01:16:14.760
Give me back your glass. Give me back romance. Give me one more chance.

01:16:14.760 --> 01:16:36.760
Forgive me. From the bottom of my heart, dear, I apologize.

01:16:44.760 --> 01:16:52.760
Come on along and listen to the lullaby of Broadway.

01:16:52.760 --> 01:16:59.760
The hip hooray, the ballyhoo, that's the lullaby of Broadway.

01:16:59.760 --> 01:17:05.760
The rumble of the subway train, the rattle of the taxi.

01:17:05.760 --> 01:17:11.760
The daffy deals to entertain at Angelo's and Maxi's.

01:17:11.760 --> 01:17:18.760
When a Broadway baby says goodnight, it's early in the morning.

01:17:18.760 --> 01:17:29.760
Manhattan babies don't sleep tight until the dawn, the dawn, the dawn, the dawn, the dawn.

01:17:29.760 --> 01:17:36.760
So good night, baby. It's five a.m. We'll soon be born.

01:17:36.760 --> 01:17:42.760
It's six a.m. The day is born. Milkman's on his way.

01:17:42.760 --> 01:17:49.760
It's time to go and join the show. You'd better go, baby.

01:17:49.760 --> 01:17:58.760
Sleep tight, nighty-night. Let's go to bed.

01:17:58.760 --> 01:18:05.760
We've been up to Harlem, down to the village. We've covered all the night spots and towns.

01:18:05.760 --> 01:18:11.760
We've been to all the bistros, crawled in every pub. Tonight we've really gotten around.

01:18:11.760 --> 01:18:15.760
We've been to Sardis, Armando's, to Versailles in the start.

01:18:15.760 --> 01:18:21.760
To Cunningham, to Copa, the air's in 21. To Morocco, to Angel, to Plaza, to Rue Van Brut.

01:18:21.760 --> 01:18:49.760
The Asher and the Walden. We've really had fun. Now let's go home.

01:18:51.760 --> 01:19:11.760
Good night, baby. Good night. Milkman's on his way.

01:19:11.760 --> 01:19:34.760
Sleep tight, baby. Sleep tight.

01:19:34.760 --> 01:19:58.760
Let's call it a day. Listen to the love of life. A bold, bold game from hand.

01:20:04.760 --> 01:20:13.760
Well, now you see, darlings, that's what I mean. Everybody sings on our show but me.

01:20:13.760 --> 01:20:19.760
Especially after that wonderful article in this month's radio and television mirror that says I'm a great singer.

01:20:19.760 --> 01:20:26.760
I wrote it myself. Doing a medley of Broadway's hits and they leave out the biggest one of all.

01:20:26.760 --> 01:20:31.760
The song I do so well. Give my regards to Broadway. It's a conspiracy.

01:20:31.760 --> 01:20:39.760
You're right, Toulouse. It's like Abercrombie without fish shampoo. It's like Montgomery without cliff.

01:20:39.760 --> 01:20:48.760
Jimmy, darling, I'm so glad you feel that way. And so just for you, I'm going to sing. Give my regards to Broadway.

01:20:48.760 --> 01:20:54.760
Okay, Toulouse, I'll give you regards. So long. Remember me to Herald Square.

01:20:54.760 --> 01:20:59.760
Leave it to Evelyn. I'll remember you to the Herald and all the squares. Good night.

01:20:59.760 --> 01:21:05.760
Tell all the boys on 42nd Street that I will soon be there.

01:21:05.760 --> 01:21:10.760
I just happened to be going over towards 42nd Street to Lula. I'll tell him. Good night.

01:21:10.760 --> 01:21:13.760
Tell them that I'm yearning.

01:21:13.760 --> 01:21:20.760
Say, tell me, Baron, did you ever hear singing like that? Charlie, for the first time in my life, the Baron cannot tell a lie.

01:21:20.760 --> 01:21:24.760
I never heard anything like it.

01:21:24.760 --> 01:21:26.760
Good night, Lou. Good night.

01:21:26.760 --> 01:21:29.760
The minger with the old-time thong.

01:21:29.760 --> 01:21:37.760
Well, I guess I better be going, Miss Bankhead. That sounds like hog-feeding time to me.

01:21:37.760 --> 01:21:40.760
Give my regards to old Broadway.

01:21:40.760 --> 01:21:46.760
Well, who should know better how old Broadway is? Good night.

01:21:46.760 --> 01:21:50.760
And say that I'll be there very long.

01:21:50.760 --> 01:21:53.760
Put on the coat, my boy.

01:21:53.760 --> 01:21:56.760
And let's go. Come on.

01:21:56.760 --> 01:22:01.760
Our coats are on.

01:22:01.760 --> 01:22:13.760
Applause.

01:22:13.760 --> 01:22:15.760
Cowards.

01:22:15.760 --> 01:22:18.760
Well, darlings, that's our show for this week.

01:22:18.760 --> 01:22:21.760
Next Sunday, we have another cast of the big names of show business.

01:22:21.760 --> 01:22:30.760
Fred Allen, Phil Baker, Eddie Cantor, Eddie Fisher, Ella Fitzgerald, Portland Hoffer, Jan Pierce, and others.

01:22:30.760 --> 01:22:35.760
And of course, our very own Meredith Wilson and the Big Show Orchardton Chorus.

01:22:35.760 --> 01:22:47.760
And until then, may the good Lord bless and keep you, whether near or far away, heavenly.

01:22:47.760 --> 01:22:57.760
May you find that long-awaited golden day today.

01:22:57.760 --> 01:22:58.760
Jack?

01:22:58.760 --> 01:23:07.760
May your troubles all be small ones and your fortune ten times ten.

01:23:07.760 --> 01:23:17.760
Smith and Dale. May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again.

01:23:17.760 --> 01:23:19.760
Bob?

01:23:19.760 --> 01:23:28.760
May we walk with sunlight shining and a bluebird in every tree.

01:23:28.760 --> 01:23:29.760
Celeste?

01:23:29.760 --> 01:23:39.760
May there be a silver lining back of every cloud you see.

01:23:39.760 --> 01:23:40.760
Meredith?

01:23:40.760 --> 01:23:49.760
Fill your dreams with sweet tomorrow, never mind what might have been.

01:23:49.760 --> 01:23:50.760
Jimmy?

01:23:50.760 --> 01:24:00.760
May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again. Billy?

01:24:00.760 --> 01:24:11.760
May you long recall each rainbow, then you'll soon forget the rain.

01:24:11.760 --> 01:24:22.760
May the warm and tender memories be the ones that will remain.

01:24:22.760 --> 01:24:34.760
Fill your dreams with sweet tomorrow, never mind what might have been.

01:24:34.760 --> 01:24:44.760
May the good Lord bless and keep you until we meet again.

01:24:44.760 --> 01:25:13.760
May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet, till we meet again.

01:25:14.760 --> 01:25:36.760
Good night, darlings, and Godspeed to our armed forces all over the world who hear these broadcasts each week.

01:25:36.760 --> 01:25:44.760
The Big Show is produced and directed by D. Engelbach and written by Goodman Ace, Selma Diamond, George Foster, Mort Green, and Frank Wilson.

01:25:44.760 --> 01:26:03.760
This is Ed Hurley, he's speaking.

01:26:03.760 --> 01:26:20.760
Laugh with Phil Harris and Alice Faye, and remember the hasty heart of Theater Guild on NBC.