WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:05.440 You're about to be entertained by some of the biggest names in show business for the next hour and 30 minutes 00:05.600 --> 00:12.680 This program will present in person such bright stars as Don Cornell Jimmy Loran. Rex Harrison 00:12.680 --> 00:34.680 Judy Holliday. Jackie Miles. Karen Miranda. Lily Palmer. Meredith Wilson. And my name darlings is Tallulah Bankett. 00:34.680 --> 00:49.680 The National Broadcasting Company presents The Big Show. 00:49.680 --> 00:53.680 The Big Show. 90 minutes with the most scintillating personalities in the entertainment world. 00:53.680 --> 01:00.680 Brought to you this Sunday and every Sunday at the same time as the Sunday feature of NBC's All-Star Festival. 01:00.680 --> 01:20.680 And here is your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable Tallulah Bankett. 01:20.680 --> 01:28.680 Well darlings, we've had so many letters asking how we're able to put an hour and a half show together with so many big stars every Sunday. 01:28.680 --> 01:32.680 Well darlings, I'll tell you, putting the show together isn't the big problem. 01:32.680 --> 01:37.680 The producer, director, the writers and performers put the show together on Saturday. 01:37.680 --> 01:44.680 But the dressmaker, the master, the hairdresser and make-up man start putting me together on Tuesday. 01:44.680 --> 01:50.680 So we all meet right after my breakfast, 5 o'clock Saturday afternoon. 01:50.680 --> 01:56.680 Well that's our first rehearsal where I meet old friends and make new enemies. 01:56.680 --> 02:04.680 Now yesterday, for instance, I arrived at the rehearsal and Meredith Wilson and the orchestra and chorus were already there. 02:04.680 --> 02:14.680 Gentlemen, here she comes. 02:14.680 --> 02:21.680 Meredith. Yes sir, Miss Bankett. 02:21.680 --> 02:26.680 The flag, why isn't it up? 02:26.680 --> 02:32.680 Well I meant to raise it while the boys were playing that but the saber keeps getting in my way. 02:32.680 --> 02:34.680 Do I have to wear it every rehearsal? 02:34.680 --> 02:38.680 You don't have to wear it, use the saber to lead the band. 02:38.680 --> 02:42.680 Well I tried that but I lost half my violin section. 02:42.680 --> 02:46.680 Butterfingers. All right, forget the saber. 02:46.680 --> 02:48.680 Can I get off the horse too? 02:48.680 --> 02:55.680 Oh very well, as far as the rest of the gentlemen, good morning. 02:55.680 --> 02:58.680 I'll report him to Connell for Trillo. 02:58.680 --> 03:01.680 Boy, go down to the drugstore and get me some coffee. 03:01.680 --> 03:02.680 Me? 03:02.680 --> 03:03.680 Yes, you. What's your name? 03:03.680 --> 03:09.680 Don Cornell. 03:09.680 --> 03:11.680 All right Don, get me the coffee. 03:11.680 --> 03:13.680 Yes ma'am, a container of coffee? 03:13.680 --> 03:21.680 A fifth. 03:21.680 --> 03:25.680 Oh Miss Bankett, no, Don Cornell is one of our guests this week. 03:25.680 --> 03:26.680 A guest of whom? 03:26.680 --> 03:28.680 I was booked on the show. 03:28.680 --> 03:31.680 For what offense? 03:31.680 --> 03:33.680 No, you don't understand, I sing. 03:33.680 --> 03:36.680 Oh, a stool figure, huh? 03:36.680 --> 03:39.680 No, I'm more of a canary. 03:39.680 --> 03:42.680 Just a minute boy, you seem a little confused, start all over will you? 03:42.680 --> 03:44.680 Well you may remember me when I sang with Sammy Kay. 03:44.680 --> 03:47.680 Oh Sammy Kay, we had him on the show. 03:47.680 --> 03:50.680 Oh yes, he made that Walter Mitty picture and Inspector General. 03:50.680 --> 03:52.680 No, that's Danny. 03:52.680 --> 03:54.680 Oh Danny, oh I know Danny very well. 03:54.680 --> 03:57.680 He has a television show every Wednesday night. 03:57.680 --> 03:58.680 That's Thomas. 03:58.680 --> 04:00.680 Oh, oh Thomas. 04:00.680 --> 04:05.680 Meredith, why didn't you tell me we had John Charles Thomas on the show this week? 04:05.680 --> 04:09.680 No Miss Bankett, this young man is Don Cornell. 04:09.680 --> 04:14.680 Oh, well why is he trying to pass himself off as John Charles Thomas? 04:14.680 --> 04:17.680 I didn't say I was John Charles Thomas. 04:17.680 --> 04:20.680 Well if you're not, get me some coffee. 04:20.680 --> 04:22.680 Here, I just got this, you can have some of mine. 04:22.680 --> 04:26.680 Oh thank you darling, you sure you don't mind my taking your coffee? 04:26.680 --> 04:30.680 No, no, go right ahead, I have another container here. 04:30.680 --> 04:33.680 What have you gotten this thing? Coffee? 04:33.680 --> 04:36.680 Yes, you asked for coffee. 04:36.680 --> 04:39.680 You are young aren't you darling? 04:43.680 --> 04:46.680 Delula darling, how are you? I've never seen you looking better. 04:46.680 --> 04:48.680 Not me Mr Harrison, I'm Meredith Wilson. 04:48.680 --> 04:50.680 Oh I beg your pardon. 04:50.680 --> 04:53.680 Rex Harrison, here I am Pat. 04:56.680 --> 05:00.680 Rex darling, I'm so glad you're going to be on our program this week. 05:00.680 --> 05:02.680 Where's Lily? Did she come with you? 05:02.680 --> 05:06.680 Lily will be here in a few moments, she stopped along the road to do some Easter shopping. 05:06.680 --> 05:08.680 She went to buy some eggs of all things, I said to her. 05:08.680 --> 05:13.680 But Lily, why bother buying eggs when we're going to be on a show with Delula Bankett? 05:16.680 --> 05:19.680 Isn't it sweet? 05:19.680 --> 05:22.680 Well Delu, it's going to be very nice being on the show with you. 05:22.680 --> 05:24.680 How many weeks rehearsal do we have? 05:24.680 --> 05:27.680 Do we go out of town for the tryout or do we open Curled on Broadway? 05:27.680 --> 05:29.680 Darling, we open tomorrow. 05:29.680 --> 05:31.680 Tomorrow? Tomorrow night. 05:31.680 --> 05:33.680 Tomorrow night, yes you had me frightened for a moment. 05:33.680 --> 05:35.680 You're joking of course. 05:35.680 --> 05:38.680 On this show we don't joke. 05:38.680 --> 05:41.680 Oh no, no, I've heard. 05:41.680 --> 05:43.680 Oh you've heard our program Rex? 05:43.680 --> 05:45.680 Of course, I listen every Sunday. 05:45.680 --> 05:48.680 You see, after working in the theatre all week, Sunday is my day of rest. 05:48.680 --> 05:52.680 So I listen to your show. I try to keep as far away from entertainment as I can. 05:53.680 --> 05:56.680 Well now tell me Rex, how is your play doing on Broadway? 05:56.680 --> 05:59.680 Bell, Book and...what is it? 05:59.680 --> 06:02.680 Bell, Book and Candle. Our play is a very big hit. 06:02.680 --> 06:04.680 I hate to boast but we're playing standing room only. 06:04.680 --> 06:06.680 Oh well don't worry about that darling. 06:06.680 --> 06:09.680 Someday you may be able to fill the seats too. 06:09.680 --> 06:12.680 Oh yes, very good. 06:12.680 --> 06:14.680 But our play is rather different. 06:14.680 --> 06:17.680 In it I portray a man who falls in love with a young lady who is a witch. 06:17.680 --> 06:20.680 What's so different about that? 06:20.680 --> 06:23.680 But Delu, she's a real witch. 06:23.680 --> 06:25.680 Who isn't? 06:25.680 --> 06:29.680 Yes, I thought you'd understand. 06:29.680 --> 06:34.680 You see, when she falls in love with me and becomes my wife, she stops being a witch. 06:34.680 --> 06:37.680 Really? Usually it's the other way around. 06:37.680 --> 06:40.680 That's true. What am I doing on this show? 06:40.680 --> 06:42.680 What do you plan for me? 06:42.680 --> 06:51.680 Well I hadn't really thought about it Rex, but it would be nice if you did something from the classic Shakespeare, Shaw, or a reading from one of the poets, Keats, Shelley. 06:51.680 --> 06:53.680 Well how about doing something from Milton? 06:53.680 --> 06:55.680 Oh Milton would be wonderful darling. 06:55.680 --> 06:59.680 Well good, I have a passage here from Milton. I brought it along. It goes like this. 06:59.680 --> 07:04.680 Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of the National Broadcasting Company, I would like to be half of the National Broadcasting Company. 07:04.680 --> 07:07.680 Well come on folks, these are jokes. I've got an audience waiting to get backstage. 07:07.680 --> 07:10.680 Oh that's Milton. 07:10.680 --> 07:13.680 You didn't recognise him. 07:13.680 --> 07:14.680 Nice chap. 07:14.680 --> 07:18.680 He must be some of my kind. 07:18.680 --> 07:21.680 He keeps asking me to call him Uncle Miltie. 07:21.680 --> 07:23.680 He must be some relation of mine. 07:23.680 --> 07:26.680 He sells petrol. Taxi go petrol. 07:26.680 --> 07:32.680 Look Rex, everyone is quite familiar with that Milton. We'll find something else for you to do. 07:32.680 --> 07:33.680 Pets. 07:33.680 --> 07:38.680 That's nice, let's do that. 07:38.680 --> 07:42.680 No darling, I mean you might do something from one of the things you've been in. 07:42.680 --> 07:49.680 Now there was Anna and the King of Siam, and then there was Anne of the Thousand Days. You're rather partial to the name Anna aren't you? 07:49.680 --> 07:52.680 Yes, very good. I never thought it that way. 07:52.680 --> 08:01.680 Well you might be interested to know, there's a play being written by a man named Kefava. It's called Anastasia. 08:01.680 --> 08:05.680 Yes, I must investigate that. Thank you. 08:05.680 --> 08:11.680 Well, when do we start our rehearsal? There's quite a large orchestra you have here. They don't seem to be playing. Do they just sit around here all through the rehearsal? 08:11.680 --> 08:16.680 Yes darling, it's one of the rules of the American Confederacy of Musicians. 08:16.680 --> 08:18.680 Oh you mean the Union? 08:18.680 --> 08:27.680 Yes, I mentioned that name on this program. 08:27.680 --> 08:31.680 Thank you. 08:31.680 --> 08:34.680 And one Yankee. 08:34.680 --> 08:37.680 Oh Rex, may I introduce you to one of our other guests? Come here boy. 08:37.680 --> 08:38.680 Yes Miss Bankhead. 08:38.680 --> 08:40.680 Rex, this is Sammy Kay. 08:40.680 --> 08:43.680 No, my name happens to be Don Cornell. 08:43.680 --> 08:48.680 Oh yes, yes, Mr. Cornell, Mr. Burl. 08:48.680 --> 08:49.680 Harrison. 08:49.680 --> 08:52.680 Oh yes, Rex Harrison in the Burl Book and Candle. 08:52.680 --> 08:58.680 And our orchestra is waiting for all the singers on the show to get here so they can rehearse with them you see. 08:58.680 --> 08:59.680 Here I am Tallulah. 08:59.680 --> 09:04.680 Oh yes darling, here she is, a wonderful singer Carmen Lombardo. 09:04.680 --> 09:10.680 Carmen Miranda. 09:10.680 --> 09:17.680 Carmen, I'm terribly embarrassed about not remembering your name. After all I've known you for, well how long has it been darling, ten years? 09:17.680 --> 09:19.680 Oh no, no, not that long. 09:19.680 --> 09:23.680 Well it's been at least five years. I was playing in Little Foxes and you came backstage to see me, remember? 09:23.680 --> 09:25.680 No, no, I never saw the Little Foxes. 09:25.680 --> 09:28.680 Oh then it must have been three years ago when I was in Private Live. 09:28.680 --> 09:30.680 I was in How Do You Three Years Ago. 09:30.680 --> 09:34.680 Oh, well then it must have been when I began this radio program about six months ago. 09:34.680 --> 09:37.680 No, I was in South America six months ago. 09:37.680 --> 09:41.680 How do you do, my name is Tallulah Bankhead. 09:41.680 --> 09:43.680 And you know our other guest, this is... 09:43.680 --> 09:46.680 Oh Rex, I did not see you. Hello Rex. 09:46.680 --> 09:48.680 Carmen, I haven't seen you for a long time. 09:48.680 --> 09:51.680 Oh, I have missed you. How about a little kiss for Carmen, huh? 09:51.680 --> 09:55.680 Yes indeed. 09:55.680 --> 09:57.680 Oh Rex. 09:57.680 --> 10:00.680 Miss Miranda, may I present Mr. Rex Harrison? 10:00.680 --> 10:02.680 Who I have just met. 10:02.680 --> 10:07.680 Yes, Carmen, why don't you start getting familiar with our script instead of our guests? 10:07.680 --> 10:09.680 Are you acquainted with our show, Carmen? 10:09.680 --> 10:13.680 No, I have not heard this program yet. I have been very busy with my own radio show in Brazil. 10:13.680 --> 10:16.680 Oh, you have your own program. That's nice. 10:16.680 --> 10:18.680 And what sort of a program is it, Carmen? 10:18.680 --> 10:22.680 Well I talk, I sing, I say things like... 10:22.680 --> 10:24.680 Darling. 10:24.680 --> 10:27.680 Isn't he colossal, forte, bonitão, sweet? 10:27.680 --> 10:31.680 Um grande abraço to Broadway. Lembranças para o Herald Square. 10:31.680 --> 10:33.680 You do that kind of a program in Brazil? 10:33.680 --> 10:35.680 Oh yes, it's very, very popular. 10:35.680 --> 10:39.680 And there is a famous actress who does another program just like this in Argentina. 10:39.680 --> 10:41.680 Oh, and what is the name of that program? 10:41.680 --> 10:45.680 All About Eva. 10:45.680 --> 10:47.680 Oh, I see. 10:47.680 --> 10:49.680 Oh, I see. 10:49.680 --> 10:54.680 Carmen, my pet, why don't you rehearse the song you are going to do on our show tomorrow with Meredith Wilson? 10:54.680 --> 10:56.680 I'll be very glad to, Lula. 10:56.680 --> 11:03.680 Alright now, fellas, I know there are no curves on my baton, but keep your eyes on it, will you please? 11:03.680 --> 11:08.680 I've been to Chicago and I like Chicago. 11:08.680 --> 11:11.680 I've been to New York and I like New York. 11:11.680 --> 11:14.680 I've been to New York and I like Chicago. 11:14.680 --> 11:17.680 I've been to New York and I like Chicago. 11:17.680 --> 11:19.680 I've been to New York and I like New York. 11:19.680 --> 11:22.680 I've lived in New Hampshire and I like New Hampshire. 11:22.680 --> 11:27.680 I like North, East, South, West, but the place I like most is the best. 11:27.680 --> 11:31.680 The place she likes most is the best, the West. 11:31.680 --> 11:35.680 Riding along with the city of song. 11:35.680 --> 11:37.680 Get along with the hot doggy. 11:37.680 --> 11:39.680 Get along. 11:39.680 --> 11:41.680 I want to go to a big empty space. 11:41.680 --> 11:44.680 Where the cows and the cantaloupes play. 11:44.680 --> 11:47.680 Gonna be a cowboy gal, gonna see my carahoe. 11:47.680 --> 11:49.680 Me hips, yeah, I'll win, yeah. 11:49.680 --> 11:52.680 She wanna hips, yeah, I'll win, yeah. 11:52.680 --> 11:55.680 I want a horse with some cantalouping chaps. 11:55.680 --> 11:58.680 I wanna chew up the dust like they say. 11:58.680 --> 12:01.680 Gonna put me on some boots, gonna rot me on some boots. 12:01.680 --> 12:04.680 Yeah, me hips, yeah, I'll win, yeah. 12:04.680 --> 12:07.680 She wanna hips, yeah, I'll win, yeah. 12:07.680 --> 12:10.680 When I'm hips, you'll gain. 12:10.680 --> 12:13.680 I'll throw any of your curves to a shame. 12:13.680 --> 12:16.680 I don't know she's what I'm saying. 12:16.680 --> 12:19.680 But I have lots of fun just to say. 12:19.680 --> 12:22.680 I wanna go where they don't have no fence. 12:22.680 --> 12:25.680 When I'm bold, let me go their way. 12:25.680 --> 12:28.680 And my day will be full when I throw little bull. 12:28.680 --> 12:33.680 Hips, yeah, yo, and I, hips, yeah, yo, and I, hips, yeah, yo, and I. 12:33.680 --> 12:36.680 I kiss the dish, you know, follow the English. 12:36.680 --> 12:38.680 I go bow, but I'm so gassed. 12:38.680 --> 12:40.680 But I insist the best. 12:40.680 --> 12:43.680 I'm not gassed, I'm not gassed. 12:43.680 --> 12:44.680 Hey, Carlin. Yes, boy? 12:44.680 --> 12:45.680 Come back to the way. 12:45.680 --> 12:46.680 Well, let's go. 12:46.680 --> 12:48.680 Give me my rusty 42. 12:48.680 --> 12:49.680 44. 12:49.680 --> 12:51.680 Give me a cow that I can punch. 12:51.680 --> 12:52.680 Cow puncher. 12:52.680 --> 12:54.680 Give me some buttons and some boots. 12:54.680 --> 12:55.680 No, both. 12:55.680 --> 12:58.680 And I'll bet you that I'll record that I stay. 12:58.680 --> 13:02.680 I'm gonna be a cowboy gal. 13:02.680 --> 13:06.680 Gonna sit in my carrel. 13:06.680 --> 13:07.680 Beautiful boy. 13:07.680 --> 13:09.680 Darling. 13:09.680 --> 13:14.680 And hips, yeah, yo, and I, hips, yeah, yo, and I, hips, yeah, yo, and I. 13:15.680 --> 13:20.680 Get along! Get along! Get along! 13:20.680 --> 13:23.680 Oh, yeah! 13:36.680 --> 13:38.680 Carmen, that was divine, darling. 13:38.680 --> 13:44.680 But we had sort of planned on your doing a song that you identified with a South American tune of some sort. 13:44.680 --> 13:49.680 Well, Tallulah, I know the song is in English, but it has the rhythm of a song from South America. 13:49.680 --> 13:51.680 Oh, no, darling, not at all. I don't think so at all. 13:51.680 --> 13:55.680 Well, I do not expect you to understand, Tallulah, after all. You are a Yankee. 13:55.680 --> 13:57.680 Watch your language, butter. 13:59.680 --> 14:03.680 From where I come from, you people in Alabama are nerdaners. 14:12.680 --> 14:15.680 Meredith, please, will you have those boys stop that? 14:15.680 --> 14:18.680 Well, that's more like it, boys. 14:19.680 --> 14:20.680 Hiya, fellas. 14:22.680 --> 14:25.680 Ah, they're quizzing at you, Judy Holliday. 14:31.680 --> 14:33.680 Judy, darling, darling, darling, you're late. 14:33.680 --> 14:38.680 I know, there was a fell in the elevator. You know that old routine, drop the handkerchief. 14:38.680 --> 14:41.680 Pardon me, is this your handkerchief? Haven't I met you someplace before? 14:41.680 --> 14:44.680 Yes, I know that old gag. I never fall for it. 14:44.680 --> 14:46.680 He didn't fall for it either. 14:48.680 --> 14:52.680 Judy, let me introduce you to some of the people on the show this week. This is Rex Harrison. 14:52.680 --> 14:53.680 Hiya, darling. 14:53.680 --> 14:57.680 Miss Holliday, this is a great pleasure. I want to tell you how much I enjoyed your stage version of Born Yesterday, 14:57.680 --> 15:01.680 and I enjoyed the picture even more, and I hope you win the Academy Award. 15:01.680 --> 15:03.680 Fresh. 15:05.680 --> 15:09.680 You misunderstand me, Miss Holliday. I was simply paying a tribute to your talent as an actress, 15:09.680 --> 15:14.680 because I think that your performance in Born Yesterday was one of the finest third-dimensional portrayals. 15:14.680 --> 15:17.680 It's been my good fortune to see you in the theatre for many a season. 15:17.680 --> 15:19.680 Get a load of that accent. 15:20.680 --> 15:22.680 You must be an NYU boy. 15:26.680 --> 15:29.680 And this young man, darling, is Don Cornell. 15:29.680 --> 15:31.680 Hello, Miss Holliday. This is a pleasure. 15:31.680 --> 15:32.680 Hiya, Jim. 15:32.680 --> 15:38.680 Cornell. The place is lousy with college boys. 15:38.680 --> 15:42.680 Hey, Tallulah, you still single? 15:44.680 --> 15:51.680 Judy, let me tell you right now before we get involved, my marital status is of no concern of yours, 15:51.680 --> 15:56.680 and it has nothing to do with the show, and you ought to rehearse the show and read what's in the script. 15:56.680 --> 16:01.680 The only thing I'm interested in is this program. That's the most important thing in my life. 16:01.680 --> 16:03.680 Now, is that clear? 16:03.680 --> 16:04.680 Sure. 16:05.680 --> 16:07.680 You're still single, huh? 16:07.680 --> 16:08.680 Judy! 16:09.680 --> 16:10.680 What? 16:14.680 --> 16:18.680 Now, look, darling, can't we have an intelligent conversation for a change? 16:18.680 --> 16:21.680 Well, what could be more intelligent than a college boy? 16:21.680 --> 16:24.680 College boys could teach you the three R's. 16:24.680 --> 16:27.680 Reading, writing, and getting a husband. 16:28.680 --> 16:30.680 Where is the R in getting a husband? 16:30.680 --> 16:32.680 Raising a family, that's where. 16:33.680 --> 16:36.680 Now, for the last time, Judy, I am not interested in college boys. 16:36.680 --> 16:38.680 And vice versa. 16:39.680 --> 16:43.680 And I am not interested in versa. 16:49.680 --> 16:53.680 Judy, do you know, darling, I'm beginning to doubt you can talk on any other subject. 16:53.680 --> 16:57.680 Oh, sure I can. Ask me something. Go ahead. Don't cause to ask. 16:57.680 --> 17:02.680 All right. Let's talk about, well, let's talk about show business. 17:02.680 --> 17:03.680 Shoot. 17:03.680 --> 17:05.680 Don't tempt me, darling. 17:06.680 --> 17:08.680 How do you like show business, Judy? 17:08.680 --> 17:11.680 Oh, fine. Especially when there's fellas waiting at the stage door. 17:11.680 --> 17:15.680 Oh, dear. Here we go again. All roads lead to men. 17:16.680 --> 17:18.680 So why'd you take a detour? 17:21.680 --> 17:24.680 Well, I know how to get you off the subject. I want you to meet another guest. 17:24.680 --> 17:27.680 This is Carmen Miranda. Miss Holliday, Carmen Miranda. 17:27.680 --> 17:29.680 I'm very happy to meet you, Miss Holliday. 17:29.680 --> 17:33.680 Oh, hey, didn't I meet you once, Miss Miranda? 17:33.680 --> 17:35.680 Well, I don't remember exactly. 17:35.680 --> 17:37.680 Once you were on the coast, didn't I meet you in L.A.? 17:37.680 --> 17:39.680 Oh, C.C. L.A. 17:39.680 --> 17:42.680 And then I met you last year at a party here in New York? 17:42.680 --> 17:44.680 Oh, C.C. And why? 17:44.680 --> 17:46.680 Back to the college boys again. 17:47.680 --> 17:50.680 Now, Judy, will you be a good neighbor and stop confusing our guests with South America? 17:50.680 --> 17:54.680 Hey, that's an idea. Why don't you take a cruise to South America? 17:54.680 --> 17:57.680 I have no intention of taking a cruise to South America. 17:57.680 --> 18:01.680 It's wonderful. You go on a pleasure cruise, you mingle with the passengers, and you meet a fella. 18:02.680 --> 18:06.680 I have never yet met anyone on a pleasure cruise I could tolerate. 18:06.680 --> 18:09.680 Did you ever try a tramp steamer? 18:14.680 --> 18:18.680 Judy, why are you so anxious for me to go to South America? 18:18.680 --> 18:21.680 I think if you go to South America, maybe they'll take it away. 18:24.680 --> 18:27.680 Oh, this is a waste of time. Carmen, why don't you rehearse your song? 18:27.680 --> 18:29.680 Well, I heard her so ready to lula. 18:29.680 --> 18:31.680 Oh, well then you, Don Perdue. 18:31.680 --> 18:33.680 Don Cornell. 18:33.680 --> 18:35.680 You, yes. Well, you sing your song now. What is it, darling? 18:35.680 --> 18:42.680 I'm going to sing my latest RCA Victor recording, a song written by Nick Kenny called My Inspiration. 18:42.680 --> 18:43.680 Meredith, how about the music? 18:43.680 --> 18:46.680 All right, men. Get in there and play for Cornell. 18:46.680 --> 18:51.680 I'm a puff of caudas water. 18:52.680 --> 18:56.680 All right, fellas. Very funny. Let's have the song now. 18:56.680 --> 19:01.680 My Inspiration 19:12.680 --> 19:17.680 My inspiration 19:19.680 --> 19:23.680 The whole day through 19:23.680 --> 19:28.680 My consolation 19:30.680 --> 19:34.680 When nights are blue 19:35.680 --> 19:40.680 My inspiration 19:41.680 --> 19:45.680 When things go wrong 19:45.680 --> 19:51.680 My adoration 19:52.680 --> 19:57.680 You make life a song 19:59.680 --> 20:04.680 Right out of the heavens you came 20:05.680 --> 20:10.680 When I needed someone like you 20:10.680 --> 20:15.680 If I find my fortune and fame 20:16.680 --> 20:21.680 I'll tell them I owe it to you 20:22.680 --> 20:27.680 My inspiration 20:28.680 --> 20:32.680 Whatever for 20:33.680 --> 20:38.680 My inspiration 20:38.680 --> 20:43.680 You're my love, my hope 20:45.680 --> 20:50.680 My inspiration 20:50.680 --> 20:55.680 The whole day through 20:56.680 --> 21:01.680 My consolation 21:01.680 --> 21:08.680 Whenever nights are blue 21:08.680 --> 21:13.680 My inspiration 21:14.680 --> 21:19.680 When things go wrong 21:20.680 --> 21:25.680 My adoration 21:25.680 --> 21:30.680 You make life a song 21:32.680 --> 21:37.680 Right out of the heavens you came 21:38.680 --> 21:43.680 When I needed someone like you 21:44.680 --> 21:49.680 If I find my fortune and fame 21:49.680 --> 21:54.680 I'll tell them I owe it to you 21:55.680 --> 22:00.680 My inspiration 22:02.680 --> 22:07.680 Whatever for 22:08.680 --> 22:13.680 My inspiration 22:13.680 --> 22:18.680 You're my love, my hope 22:19.680 --> 22:24.680 My inspiration 22:25.680 --> 22:30.680 You are my love, my hope 22:30.680 --> 22:35.680 My adoration 23:00.680 --> 23:03.680 Look who finally got here. Lily Palmer! 23:08.680 --> 23:12.680 Lily! Tallulah! Carmen! Lily! 23:12.680 --> 23:16.680 Rex! Meredith! Lily! Don! Lily! 23:16.680 --> 23:19.680 Judy! George! Who? 23:20.680 --> 23:23.680 Darling, who is George? A fella! 23:24.680 --> 23:28.680 I noticed he only got four girls and three fellas, so I brought in George to make it come out even 23:28.680 --> 23:33.680 because otherwise somebody's going to be left over without a fella and you know who that's going to be. 23:35.680 --> 23:38.680 Judy, will you stop worrying about me? 23:38.680 --> 23:45.680 Oh, all right. But I know your type. You're the girl at the party who always ends up winding the Victrola. 23:48.680 --> 23:52.680 Lily, darling, you grow more beautiful every time I see you. 23:52.680 --> 23:57.680 Oh, thank you, Tallulah. And you grow more every time I see you, too. 23:57.680 --> 24:00.680 Oh, jeez, please. Thank you, I think. 24:00.680 --> 24:06.680 Oh, by the way, Tallulah, I've been wondering about my wardrobe for tomorrow. What do you usually wear on your show? 24:06.680 --> 24:10.680 Well, I usually wear a high neck, low sleeved, long sleeved cocktail dress. 24:10.680 --> 24:13.680 A cocktail dress, uh-huh. An old fashioned. 24:13.680 --> 24:15.680 No, darling, it's quite attractive. 24:16.680 --> 24:18.680 What were you planning on wearing, Lily? 24:18.680 --> 24:20.680 Well, I have a sleeveless dinner dress. 24:20.680 --> 24:24.680 A sleeveless? Oh, well in that case I'll wear my V-neck dinner gown. 24:24.680 --> 24:28.680 Hmm. Well, I could wear my dinner dress with a capital V neck. 24:28.680 --> 24:30.680 Oh, it's a contest, huh? 24:31.680 --> 24:35.680 Okay, I'll wear my new dress with the W neck. 24:35.680 --> 24:42.680 Oh. Oh, you have heat in the theatre. 24:42.680 --> 24:47.680 Well, then, uh, then I think I'll wear my off the shoulder gown. 24:47.680 --> 24:50.680 All right. Then I'll wear my strapless dress. 24:50.680 --> 24:54.680 Do that, huh? And I'll wear my strapless bathers gown. 24:54.680 --> 24:57.680 I have a wide belt. 25:02.680 --> 25:04.680 Top that. 25:05.680 --> 25:12.680 Well, then, um, I'll just play a highly dramatic scene on the show and bare my soul. 25:12.680 --> 25:17.680 Tell me, Gypsy, I mean Lily, what are you and Rex going to do on the show? 25:17.680 --> 25:19.680 Well, I don't know. Anything Rex decides. 25:19.680 --> 25:21.680 Oh, no, not me, darling. Anything you want to do. 25:21.680 --> 25:23.680 No, Rex, you must decide. 25:23.680 --> 25:24.680 No, Lily, you decide. 25:24.680 --> 25:26.680 No, Rex, I won't decide. You decide. 25:26.680 --> 25:27.680 Well, somebody decide. 25:27.680 --> 25:29.680 Rex will decide, Tallulah. 25:29.680 --> 25:30.680 No, I won't decide. 25:30.680 --> 25:34.680 Speak, Rex. Here, boy, speak. 25:34.680 --> 25:37.680 No, if Lily won't decide, I am walking out. 25:37.680 --> 25:42.680 Just a minute, Rex. If you're going for a walk, somebody better take you. 25:42.680 --> 25:45.680 Now, Rex, we're not going through this again. 25:45.680 --> 25:49.680 The last time we were guests on a show, I decided, and then you decided. 25:49.680 --> 25:53.680 I hadn't decided on the right thing, but that was after we had done what I decided. 25:53.680 --> 25:59.680 Even Max said I had decided the right thing, so you went running to Phil, and of course Phil sided with you because he's been married to Marsha. 25:59.680 --> 26:04.680 And you know very well Marsha used to be on my side until she divorced Henry because he was already married. 26:04.680 --> 26:09.680 And it was then I decided I would never make a decision about deciding anything until you had decided. 26:09.680 --> 26:14.680 And if I had to do it all over again, I would do it all over again. 26:14.680 --> 26:17.680 Not here, you won't, sister. 26:17.680 --> 26:21.680 Now, look here, you two. This is such a childish argument. 26:21.680 --> 26:26.680 After all, you must have had something in mind that you two could do when you decided to come on the show. 26:26.680 --> 26:29.680 Well, I didn't make the decision to come on the show, Tallulah. 26:29.680 --> 26:41.680 Well, I certainly didn't decide. If you recollect, Rex, that night at dinner when you told me we had been booked to go on Tallulah Bankhead's show, didn't I say, please, not while I'm eating? 26:41.680 --> 26:43.680 Oh, you did. 26:43.680 --> 26:48.680 Yes, but didn't I offer to try and get out of it by going to the dentist and having all my teeth out? 26:48.680 --> 26:49.680 No, you did. 26:49.680 --> 26:56.680 Oh, sure. You'd have all your teeth out. And I would have to go on her show alone. I saw through your little scheme. 26:56.680 --> 27:03.680 But you objected when I took a shower and offered to stand in front of an open window and catch pneumonia to keep from going on the show with her. 27:03.680 --> 27:04.680 No, you did. 27:04.680 --> 27:06.680 Oh, no, no, no, no. No offence meant, Tallulah. 27:06.680 --> 27:09.680 Oh, no, of course not, Tallulah. Of course not. I realize you are both upset. 27:09.680 --> 27:16.680 And you say things in the heat of an argument. Why don't you and Rex step over to that window and out on the terrace and cool off? 27:16.680 --> 27:19.680 Oh, thank you very much, Luli. I think she's right, Luli. Come along. 27:19.680 --> 27:20.680 Oh, very well. 27:20.680 --> 27:22.680 Oh, wait a minute. Look. 27:22.680 --> 27:25.680 Oh, Tallulah, we just noticed that there's no terrace. 27:25.680 --> 27:44.680 No, you did. Well, I tried. 27:44.680 --> 27:59.680 Well. 27:59.680 --> 28:02.680 It's the only rhythm I can understand. 28:02.680 --> 28:06.680 I want to dance, I want to sing until I jing-a-ling-a-ling. 28:06.680 --> 28:10.680 Hollabaloo-pa-loo-pa-loo-pa, Hollabaloo. 28:13.680 --> 28:17.680 Give me the music, give me the music, 28:17.680 --> 28:21.680 Give me the music of the Nickelodeon. 28:21.680 --> 28:24.680 Let me be happy, let me be happy, 28:24.680 --> 28:27.680 Let me be happy, that's the time. 28:27.680 --> 28:31.680 Let me be happy, that's the kind of food I need. 28:31.680 --> 28:34.680 Pay me a falter, pay me a falter, 28:34.680 --> 28:38.680 Pay me a falter till they carry me away. 28:38.680 --> 28:42.680 Put it in all the dimes, I'll have a Hollabaloo, a plant. 28:42.680 --> 28:45.680 You have been listening to Meredith Wilson, 28:45.680 --> 28:47.680 his orchestra and chorus. 28:47.680 --> 28:50.680 I'll take just a moment before we continue to say 28:50.680 --> 28:57.680 that this is NBC, the national broadcasting company. 29:20.680 --> 29:21.680 The Big Show. 29:21.680 --> 29:25.680 This is the national broadcasting company, Sunday Extravaganza, 29:25.680 --> 29:28.680 with the most scintillating personalities in show business. 29:28.680 --> 29:33.680 The Big Show, the Sunday night feature of NBC's All-Star Festival, 29:33.680 --> 29:35.680 is brought to you by the makers of Anison, 29:35.680 --> 29:39.680 for fast relief from the pain of headache you write us in your algebra. 29:39.680 --> 29:42.680 By RCA Victor, world leader in radio, 29:42.680 --> 29:45.680 first in recorded music, first in television. 29:45.680 --> 29:49.680 And by Chesterfield, the cigarette that has, for you, 29:49.680 --> 29:51.680 what every smoker wants. 29:51.680 --> 29:54.680 Mildness, but no unpleasant aftertaste. 29:54.680 --> 29:57.680 The cigarette that brings you Bing Crosby and Bob Hope. 29:57.680 --> 30:00.680 The big stars in this program are Don Cornell, Jimmy Durante, 30:00.680 --> 30:03.680 Rex Harrison, Judy Holliday, Jackie Miles, Carmen Miranda, 30:03.680 --> 30:07.680 Lily Palmer, Meredith Wilson and his Big Show orchestra and chorus. 30:07.680 --> 30:11.680 And every week, your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable, 30:11.680 --> 30:13.680 Tallulah Bankhead. 30:13.680 --> 30:22.680 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. 30:22.680 --> 30:26.680 Applause. 30:26.680 --> 30:30.680 Well, darlings, every year I am determined to get into the Easter Parade, 30:30.680 --> 30:33.680 and every year I oversleep. 30:33.680 --> 30:36.680 But last night I set my alarm for five o'clock, 30:36.680 --> 30:39.680 I was up at five this morning, out on Fifth Avenue at six o'clock, 30:39.680 --> 30:41.680 and what do you think? 30:41.680 --> 30:44.680 The whole parade had over slept. 30:44.680 --> 30:49.680 I was so mad I could hardly contain myself, I thought I would burst. 30:49.680 --> 30:52.680 So I went home and loosened it. 30:52.680 --> 30:56.680 And the worst thing about it was I had a date with a gentleman who was going to 30:56.680 --> 30:58.680 march in the parade with me. 30:58.680 --> 31:00.680 Hello, Toulouse. 31:00.680 --> 31:06.680 Applause. 31:06.680 --> 31:07.680 Hello, Toulouse. 31:07.680 --> 31:10.680 And if I ever get a hold of him, I will throttle him. 31:10.680 --> 31:12.680 Goodbye, Toulouse. 31:12.680 --> 31:13.680 Come back here. 31:13.680 --> 31:15.680 I'm talking about you, Jimmy Durante. 31:15.680 --> 31:17.680 Jimmy, I want to ask you a question. 31:17.680 --> 31:21.680 Okay, which way is the television camera? 31:21.680 --> 31:24.680 Didn't we have a date to march in the Easter Parade this morning? 31:24.680 --> 31:25.680 That's right. 31:25.680 --> 31:26.680 Where was you? 31:26.680 --> 31:27.680 Where was you? 31:27.680 --> 31:28.680 I was there. 31:28.680 --> 31:30.680 I was all dressed up. 31:30.680 --> 31:33.680 I was wearing my high silk hat, my cutaway coat, my striped trousers, 31:33.680 --> 31:38.680 and my genuine hop-along, Cassidy shoulder holster. 31:38.680 --> 31:41.680 I was dressed to kill. 31:41.680 --> 31:45.680 I was a picture from the top of my hat to the tips of my black and white shoes. 31:45.680 --> 31:48.680 Black and white shoes with that outfit? 31:48.680 --> 31:51.680 A black shoe on my left foot and a white shoe on my right. 31:51.680 --> 31:54.680 Well, I don't know how I missed you in that outfit. 31:54.680 --> 31:58.680 While I was waiting for you, I was walking hither, thither, and yon. 31:58.680 --> 32:03.680 Three of the cutest cock of Spaniel you ever saw. 32:03.680 --> 32:07.680 One's a male, one's a female, and a Doberman pincher. 32:07.680 --> 32:08.680 A Doberman pincher? 32:08.680 --> 32:11.680 Well, that's that ferocious looking dog, isn't it, Jimmy? 32:11.680 --> 32:16.680 Oh, he only pinches people named Doberman. 32:16.680 --> 32:19.680 Till I got a million of them. 32:19.680 --> 32:22.680 Well, all I know is, Jimmy, that you stood me up. 32:22.680 --> 32:23.680 I wanted to see that parade. 32:23.680 --> 32:24.680 You should have seen it. 32:24.680 --> 32:26.680 What a mass of color. 32:26.680 --> 32:30.680 Little white bunnies, tiny yellow chicks, and the cutest pink elephants. 32:30.680 --> 32:31.680 I know all about them. 32:31.680 --> 32:35.680 They started from my apartment. 32:35.680 --> 32:39.680 Well, as long as I missed the parade, Jimmy, tell me, darling, what were the women wearing? 32:39.680 --> 32:40.680 Clothes. 32:40.680 --> 32:43.680 I know, but what are the new fashions? 32:43.680 --> 32:47.680 Well, the skirts look shorter and the men look longer. 32:47.680 --> 32:49.680 Oh, the skirts, that's interesting. 32:49.680 --> 32:51.680 Can you describe some of the things you saw? 32:51.680 --> 32:53.680 I mean, what was the predominant color? 32:53.680 --> 32:55.680 Tan, beige. 32:55.680 --> 32:57.680 Tan and beige? 32:57.680 --> 33:01.680 That's right, 54 gauge, of course. 33:01.680 --> 33:03.680 Oh, that tan and beige. 33:03.680 --> 33:04.680 But didn't you see anything else? 33:04.680 --> 33:05.680 I saw plenty. 33:05.680 --> 33:08.680 I was on a windy corner. 33:08.680 --> 33:12.680 No, Jimmy, Jimmy, I'm talking about the outfits they wore, the dresses. 33:12.680 --> 33:13.680 I couldn't see the dresses. 33:13.680 --> 33:15.680 They were all wearing fur wraps. 33:15.680 --> 33:17.680 Oh, what fur? 33:17.680 --> 33:18.680 They were cold. 33:18.680 --> 33:23.680 That's what fur. 33:23.680 --> 33:27.680 The writers wrote that should hang by the rope. 33:27.680 --> 33:31.680 Everybody was covered up to their chins and chiller. 33:31.680 --> 33:34.680 Sixth Avenue never looked like that before. 33:34.680 --> 33:35.680 Sixth Avenue? 33:35.680 --> 33:37.680 Jimmy, the Easter Parade is on Fifth Avenue. 33:37.680 --> 33:41.680 No wonder you didn't meet me if you were on Sixth Avenue with the Hoye Palloy. 33:41.680 --> 33:45.680 While I was there, I met one of the Hoyest of all the Palloys, 33:45.680 --> 33:48.680 Eddie Jackson of Clayton Jackson and Durant. 33:48.680 --> 33:53.680 Thank you. 33:53.680 --> 33:56.680 Well, Mr. Jackson, as long as you're here, darling, 33:56.680 --> 34:00.680 how about you and Jimmy giving us one of your famous songs? 34:00.680 --> 34:03.680 Let's say Rufus Rastus Johnson Brown. 34:03.680 --> 34:10.680 Hit it! 34:10.680 --> 34:13.680 Say, who's that a-knocking at the door below? 34:13.680 --> 34:17.680 And who's that a-shippin' out in that hail and the snow? 34:17.680 --> 34:18.680 I don't know. 34:18.680 --> 34:19.680 But who's that a-knocking? 34:19.680 --> 34:20.680 Is that Mr. Rufus Brown? 34:20.680 --> 34:23.680 If it is, let's tell him what's on our mind. 34:23.680 --> 34:24.680 Let's poke a duck. 34:24.680 --> 34:27.680 Yeah, well, oh, that's one of you said you were gonna bring. 34:27.680 --> 34:31.680 Don't tell me it's melting away just like the snow last spring. 34:31.680 --> 34:33.680 Now, brother, you've had your say. 34:33.680 --> 34:35.680 And you've had your way. 34:35.680 --> 34:37.680 Now listen to what we've got to say. 34:37.680 --> 34:39.680 Tell him, tell him, Jimmy. 34:39.680 --> 34:42.680 Rufus Rastus, Mr. Johnson Brown. 34:42.680 --> 34:46.680 Whatcha gonna do when the rent comes round? 34:46.680 --> 34:47.680 Whatcha gonna say? 34:47.680 --> 34:49.680 How you gonna pay? 34:49.680 --> 34:52.680 You'll never hear the business until you hear me, boy, until George Moon Day. 34:52.680 --> 34:56.680 Yeah, and you know and I know that rent means dough. 34:56.680 --> 34:59.680 That way of life, that's what you're gonna do. 34:59.680 --> 35:02.680 Now listen to what we've got to say. 35:02.680 --> 35:04.680 Tell him, tell him, Jimmy. 35:04.680 --> 35:07.680 Rufus Rastus, Mr. Johnson Brown. 35:07.680 --> 35:10.680 Whatcha gonna do when the rent comes round? 35:10.680 --> 35:13.680 Yeah, well, oh, that's one of you said you were gonna bring. 35:13.680 --> 35:16.680 Now listen to what we've got to say. 35:16.680 --> 35:18.680 Tell him, tell him, Jimmy. 35:18.680 --> 35:21.680 Rufus Rastus, Mr. Johnson Brown. 35:21.680 --> 35:24.680 Whatcha gonna do when the rent comes round? 35:24.680 --> 35:26.680 Rent means dough. 35:26.680 --> 35:28.680 That way of life, that's what you're gonna do. 35:28.680 --> 35:30.680 Tell him, tell him, Jimmy. 35:30.680 --> 35:33.680 Rufus Rastus, Mr. Johnson Brown. 35:33.680 --> 35:36.680 Whatcha gonna do when the rent comes round? 35:36.680 --> 35:38.680 Let me hear that band. 35:43.680 --> 35:46.680 Well, when Rufus hears that music, he'll come home too fast. 35:46.680 --> 35:49.680 Say now, we don't want to preach, but we want you to know. 35:49.680 --> 35:51.680 Yeah, you gotta save your money, Rufus. 35:51.680 --> 35:53.680 You just gotta save your dough. 35:53.680 --> 35:56.680 And Rufus, we're talking to you like a lifelong friend. 35:56.680 --> 36:00.680 And if you don't learn your lesson, pal, it's gonna be the end. 36:00.680 --> 36:03.680 Now Mr. Rufus, Mr. Rastus, Mr. Johnson Brown. 36:03.680 --> 36:07.680 Say brother, whatcha gonna do when that rent comes around? 36:07.680 --> 36:11.680 Say he's got two first names, he's got two last names. 36:11.680 --> 36:15.680 Say he's got two second names, he's got two second names. 36:15.680 --> 36:19.680 And at the end of our story, let's go home, Jane. 36:19.680 --> 36:23.680 Now Rufus Rastus, Mr. Johnson Brown. 36:23.680 --> 36:46.680 Whatcha gonna do when the rent comes round? 36:46.680 --> 36:52.680 When we ask you to try Anasin for the relief of pain due to a headache, neuritis, or neuralgia, 36:52.680 --> 36:56.680 we are not asking you to try a new or unproved method. 36:56.680 --> 37:04.680 For there are many people listening in now who have been introduced to Anasin tablets by their own dentist or physician. 37:04.680 --> 37:11.680 You who have received Anasin this way know the effective, incredibly fast relief these tablets bring. 37:11.680 --> 37:14.680 Anasin is like a doctor's prescription. 37:14.680 --> 37:20.680 That is, Anasin contains not just one, but a combination of medically proven active ingredients 37:20.680 --> 37:22.680 in easy to take tablet form. 37:22.680 --> 37:28.680 People by the thousands are using modern Anasin today instead of other ways. 37:28.680 --> 37:31.680 Doesn't their experience seem worth following? 37:31.680 --> 37:35.680 Try Anasin the next time you suffer pains from headache, neuritis, or neuralgia. 37:35.680 --> 37:38.680 You'll be delighted with the results. 37:38.680 --> 37:41.680 Ask your druggist for Anasin today. 37:41.680 --> 37:45.680 Anasin is spelled A-N-A-C-I-N. 37:45.680 --> 37:58.680 Music 37:58.680 --> 38:05.680 Ladies and gentlemen, we're not going to let this lovely Easter Sunday go by without a musical tribute to this happy season. 38:05.680 --> 38:08.680 Meredith Wilson has written a lovely Easter song for the occasion, 38:08.680 --> 38:14.680 and here are Don Cornell, Meredith Wilson, and the Big Show Orchestra and Chorus along with me 38:14.680 --> 38:17.680 to introduce this Easter greeting. 38:17.680 --> 38:26.680 Music 38:26.680 --> 38:32.680 A pleasant little fellow came from Mars to pay a visit, 38:32.680 --> 38:38.680 and he remained a whole long winter fool. 38:38.680 --> 38:44.680 Each Sunday he proceeded to a different church and creed, 38:44.680 --> 38:51.680 and he always found himself an empty pew or two. 38:51.680 --> 38:57.680 In fact, he often noticed quite a few. 38:57.680 --> 39:04.680 Yet far from being tiring, all his Sundays were inspiring. 39:04.680 --> 39:14.680 Then one sunny day, all innocent indeed, he tried to pay his normal Sunday visit. 39:14.680 --> 39:24.680 But the church was jammed with people, from the cellar to the steeple. 39:24.680 --> 39:29.680 And the poor, bewildered man cried out, 39:29.680 --> 39:34.680 What is it? 39:34.680 --> 39:36.680 It's Easter time. 39:36.680 --> 39:43.680 The bells on the hill are ringing, ringing once again. 39:43.680 --> 39:52.680 There's a smile on the face of this weary world that seems to say, Amen. 39:52.680 --> 39:55.680 It's Easter time. 39:55.680 --> 40:01.680 And it's again in nodding, nodding to improve, 40:01.680 --> 40:10.680 while the folks walk to church as they did so long ago. 40:10.680 --> 40:19.680 And there's a basket on the dining room table with fancy Easter eggs for all. 40:19.680 --> 40:28.680 And there's a lily in all its glory standing in the hall. 40:28.680 --> 40:31.680 Oh, it's Easter time. 40:31.680 --> 40:38.680 The dawn of the year is shining in the hearts of men 40:38.680 --> 41:06.680 with the joys of the hearts that have risen once again. 41:06.680 --> 41:15.680 And there's a basket on the dining room table with fancy Easter eggs for all. 41:15.680 --> 41:25.680 And there's a lily in all its glory standing in the hall. 41:25.680 --> 41:27.680 It's Easter time. 41:27.680 --> 41:34.680 The dawn of the year is shining in the hearts of men 41:34.680 --> 41:43.680 with the joys and the hopes that have risen once again. 41:43.680 --> 41:48.680 It's Easter time. 41:48.680 --> 42:04.680 Amen. 42:04.680 --> 42:07.680 Carmen, Carmen Miranda, come here, darling. 42:07.680 --> 42:10.680 Why aren't you wearing one of your famous fruit hats? 42:10.680 --> 42:12.680 They're so nutritious looking. 42:12.680 --> 42:14.680 Please tell Lula, no jokes about my hats. 42:14.680 --> 42:16.680 They are very expensive now. 42:16.680 --> 42:20.680 75 cents a pound, even more expensive than cans. 42:20.680 --> 42:22.680 Yes, bananas are expensive. 42:22.680 --> 42:24.680 But it must be very convenient when people come to the house 42:24.680 --> 42:28.680 and you run out of stuff, you just pass the hats, I suppose. 42:28.680 --> 42:30.680 Please tell Lula, everybody makes jokes about my hats. 42:30.680 --> 42:31.680 That's why I didn't wear them. 42:31.680 --> 42:32.680 You're right, Carmen. 42:32.680 --> 42:36.680 It isn't very hospitable among my part, and I'm very sorry, darling. 42:36.680 --> 42:39.680 If I make another joke about your hat, I'll eat it. 42:39.680 --> 42:40.680 Thank you, tell Lula. 42:40.680 --> 42:42.680 I'm sorry I'm not dressed up as I should be. 42:42.680 --> 42:47.680 But you know, I bought a brand new green Easter hat to go with my new green Easter suit. 42:47.680 --> 42:48.680 Oh, that sounds lovely. 42:48.680 --> 42:49.680 Why didn't you wear that, darling? 42:49.680 --> 42:50.680 I couldn't. 42:50.680 --> 42:51.680 It doesn't match now. 42:51.680 --> 42:54.680 The hat got ripe, but the suit didn't. 42:54.680 --> 42:59.680 Well, you should never keep a hat in the refrigerator. 42:59.680 --> 43:03.680 I'm always fascinated by those extremely high platform shoes you always wear. 43:03.680 --> 43:05.680 They make you look so tall. 43:05.680 --> 43:07.680 And then on top of that, a big hat. 43:07.680 --> 43:09.680 Well, how tall are you, Carmen? 43:09.680 --> 43:12.680 Well, I'm five feet, five inches. 43:12.680 --> 43:13.680 Five-five. 43:13.680 --> 43:14.680 Yeah. 43:14.680 --> 43:18.680 Well, the hat certainly makes you look taller, and the platforms on those shoes add a lot to your height. 43:18.680 --> 43:20.680 How tall are you without them? 43:20.680 --> 43:21.680 Five inches. 43:21.680 --> 43:28.680 Carmen, I've long been in love with that exciting rhythm you use when you sing. 43:28.680 --> 43:30.680 Is that something that you yourself invented? 43:30.680 --> 43:31.680 Oh, no, no, tell Lula. 43:31.680 --> 43:33.680 In South America, everyone knows this rhythm. 43:33.680 --> 43:35.680 Even the little children can do this rhythm, too. 43:35.680 --> 43:38.680 And there are so many little children there. 43:38.680 --> 43:42.680 I don't want to. 43:42.680 --> 43:44.680 And now, how about the song you're going to do for us now? 43:44.680 --> 43:45.680 What is it, Carmen? 43:45.680 --> 43:46.680 Mama Yo Quiero. 43:46.680 --> 43:48.680 Oh, yes, I want my mama. 43:48.680 --> 43:54.680 Ladies and gentlemen, Carmen Miranda and her Brazilian quartet in her famous rendition of Mama Yo Quiero. 43:54.680 --> 43:55.680 Wonderful. 43:55.680 --> 44:11.680 ["Mama Yo Quiero"] 44:25.680 --> 44:28.680 Give me a kiss so I won't cry 44:28.680 --> 44:31.680 It hurts my little daughter, my heart 44:31.680 --> 44:34.680 Take my wood and come into my garden 44:34.680 --> 44:37.680 I have a sister who is phenomenal 44:37.680 --> 44:39.680 She is the force of the sea, she is the voice 44:39.680 --> 44:41.680 Mama, mama, mama, mama, I want 44:41.680 --> 44:45.680 Mama, mama, mama, mama, I want 44:45.680 --> 44:49.680 Give me a kiss, give me a kiss 44:49.680 --> 44:51.680 Give me a kiss so I won't cry 44:51.680 --> 44:56.680 Mama, mama, mama, mama, I want 44:56.680 --> 44:58.680 Mama, mama, mama, mama, I want 44:58.680 --> 45:02.680 Give me a kiss, give me a kiss 45:02.680 --> 45:04.680 Give me a kiss so I won't cry 45:04.680 --> 45:07.680 I look at the little ones, but that way 45:07.680 --> 45:10.680 It's a pity not to believe the satisfaction 45:10.680 --> 45:13.680 I have a sister who is phenomenal 45:13.680 --> 45:16.680 She is the force of the sea, she is the voice 45:16.680 --> 45:18.680 Mama, mama, mama, mama, I want 45:18.680 --> 45:21.680 Mama, mama, mama, mama, I want 45:21.680 --> 45:23.680 Mama, mama, mama, mama, I want 45:23.680 --> 45:26.680 Give me a kiss, give me a kiss 45:26.680 --> 45:29.680 Give me a kiss so I won't cry 45:29.680 --> 45:36.680 Mama, mama, mama, mama, I want 45:36.680 --> 45:45.680 applause 45:45.680 --> 45:49.560 Here's a word from RCA Victor. 45:49.560 --> 45:52.440 Fin your life with a new magic world of fun. 45:52.440 --> 45:53.440 Enjoy yourself. 45:53.440 --> 45:54.440 Have a Highland fling. 45:54.440 --> 45:56.040 Yes, that's just what it is. 45:56.040 --> 46:01.240 When you and your family start enjoying RCA Victor's new 17-inch television console, the 46:01.240 --> 46:02.240 Highland. 46:02.240 --> 46:06.120 It's fun, it's fine, and it'll be the favorite of your family. 46:06.120 --> 46:07.120 That's right. 46:07.120 --> 46:12.760 The most famous name in home entertainment, RCA Victor, now brings you the best in 17-inch 46:12.760 --> 46:16.080 television with the new Highland console. 46:16.080 --> 46:20.600 There's a lot we can say about the Highland, but you just have to see it. 46:20.600 --> 46:25.800 With its remarkable pictures, clear, bright, and steady, its distinctive console cabinet, 46:25.800 --> 46:31.000 beautifully styled, beautifully finished, and priced to fit your family budget. 46:31.000 --> 46:35.160 Then you'll know why this is million-proof television. 46:35.160 --> 46:42.640 Now over two million American families have tried, tested, and purchased RCA Victor television. 46:42.640 --> 46:48.560 Let your family in for a Highland fling with RCA Victor's exciting new Highland television 46:48.560 --> 46:49.920 console. 46:49.920 --> 47:04.400 See it at your RCA Victor dealers tomorrow. 47:04.400 --> 47:07.840 Judy, doesn't Carmen Miranda make South America sound exciting? 47:07.840 --> 47:09.840 Big deal, South America. 47:09.840 --> 47:16.840 Stay home, put on an Xavier Cougar racket, open a can of mosquitoes, and you got it. 47:16.840 --> 47:19.440 Why, Judy, you sound bitter. 47:19.440 --> 47:21.240 To me, it sounds wonderful. 47:21.240 --> 47:23.360 I think it must be exotic. 47:23.360 --> 47:26.080 I think it sounds so romantic and exciting. 47:26.080 --> 47:27.080 That's what you think. 47:27.080 --> 47:29.000 Everything on this show is what you think. 47:29.000 --> 47:30.280 I think this, I think that. 47:30.280 --> 47:31.280 I think it's wonderful. 47:31.280 --> 47:32.280 I think it's exciting. 47:32.280 --> 47:35.280 Once, why don't you ask a person what they think? 47:35.280 --> 47:39.920 Especially a person like me, who took one of those pleasure cruises. 47:39.920 --> 47:41.680 And what happened to me down there? 47:41.680 --> 47:43.600 Why don't you ask me? 47:43.600 --> 47:45.600 All right, what happened, Judy? 47:45.600 --> 47:46.600 Don't ask. 47:46.600 --> 47:47.600 I went to Havana on one of those cruises. 47:47.600 --> 47:48.600 A 4950, a Chicka Chicka Bum Chick to spend a few days, a Buma Buma Chick Boom. 47:48.600 --> 47:53.560 I went to Havana, and along with my friends, I went to Smith and 47:53.560 --> 47:57.560 I'm one of those cruisers 47:57.560 --> 48:00.560 A 49-50, a chick-a-chick, a boom chick 48:00.560 --> 48:03.560 To spend a few days, a boom-a-boom, a chick-boom 48:03.560 --> 48:06.560 I went to Havana, to choose 48:06.560 --> 48:09.560 To look at the natives, the Sun Heights 48:09.560 --> 48:14.560 To study their customs, and picturesque ways 48:14.560 --> 48:18.560 Arriba, arriba, arriba 48:18.560 --> 48:21.560 Arriba 48:21.560 --> 48:24.560 All winter long, I worked in the office all day 48:24.560 --> 48:28.560 I went to school at night to learn how to say yes in Spanish and Portuguese 48:28.560 --> 48:31.560 And then when I got down there, nobody asked me 48:38.560 --> 48:40.560 Arriba, that's all they say 48:40.560 --> 48:43.560 A fella dances with you, arriba 48:43.560 --> 48:46.560 And how I skimp and save all when I eat those lunch counters 48:46.560 --> 48:49.560 Those crummy chicken salad sandwiches 48:49.560 --> 48:53.560 Chicken salad, how I hate the taste of that tuna fish 48:55.560 --> 48:58.560 Saved all my pennies, gave up all my luxuries 48:58.560 --> 49:01.560 Bread and rent 49:01.560 --> 49:05.560 I played all the kids on the block with loaded dominoes 49:05.560 --> 49:09.560 I listed three children as dependents on my income tax 49:09.560 --> 49:11.560 And what did it get me? 49:11.560 --> 49:13.560 Arriba 49:13.560 --> 49:16.560 It was bad enough for one girl to get a fella 49:16.560 --> 49:18.560 But another girl attached herself to me on the boat 49:18.560 --> 49:21.560 Oh, Judy, baby, where are you, honey child? 49:21.560 --> 49:23.560 A girl, I said 49:25.560 --> 49:26.560 Here I am, Blossom 49:26.560 --> 49:28.560 I've been looking all over for you, Judy 49:28.560 --> 49:30.560 I declare I've been all over this boat 49:30.560 --> 49:32.560 You married yet? 49:34.560 --> 49:35.560 Married? 49:35.560 --> 49:38.560 Well, I declare, Judy, everybody on this boat must have the same idea 49:38.560 --> 49:40.560 Because there's nobody on here but girls 49:40.560 --> 49:42.560 Well, even the officers are all girls 49:42.560 --> 49:44.560 But I did think of something, honey child 49:44.560 --> 49:46.560 You and I will sit at the captain's table for dinner 49:46.560 --> 49:48.560 Ah, who wants to eat with her? 49:48.560 --> 49:50.560 Oh, you mean 49:50.560 --> 49:52.560 Arriba, Arriba 49:52.560 --> 49:56.560 Well, this trip is certainly a waste of time and money, that's all I can say 49:56.560 --> 49:58.560 Well, there must be some men on this boat 49:58.560 --> 50:01.560 Well, yesterday I heard a man's voice in cabin 4G 50:01.560 --> 50:03.560 That's my cabin, Judy 50:07.560 --> 50:10.560 Well, I just declare, I'm sorry I came on this trip 50:10.560 --> 50:13.560 I wish I'd gone where I wanted to go, up the Sun Valley 50:13.560 --> 50:16.560 I know a lot of fellas up there 50:17.560 --> 50:19.560 Yeah, but that takes a lot of money 50:19.560 --> 50:21.560 Oh, I don't understand about money, Judy 50:21.560 --> 50:23.560 I don't know anything about money 50:23.560 --> 50:26.560 I just don't know anything about money 50:28.560 --> 50:29.560 Where are you from? 50:29.560 --> 50:32.560 Well, I'm from the Virginia Hills 50:38.560 --> 50:41.560 Arriba, Arriba 50:41.560 --> 50:43.560 Fine pleasure cruise 50:43.560 --> 50:46.560 I saved my money, I figured I'd come out on the boat 50:46.560 --> 50:48.560 And I'd meet a fella and we'd dance 50:48.560 --> 50:51.560 And then we'd go out on the deck and look at the stars 50:51.560 --> 50:54.560 And he makes a pass at me and I slap him 50:54.560 --> 50:57.560 And he walks away and then he won't talk to me 50:57.560 --> 51:00.560 And the next night he's dancing with another girl 51:00.560 --> 51:04.560 And I go to my cabin and I throw myself under bed and I cry my eyes out 51:04.560 --> 51:07.560 That's what I call a pleasure cruise 51:07.560 --> 51:12.560 I know just what you mean, honey child, but there are no fellas on this boat 51:12.560 --> 51:13.560 Arriba 51:13.560 --> 51:15.560 Now what kind of a fella are you thinking of marrying, Judy? 51:15.560 --> 51:17.560 A single one 51:17.560 --> 51:19.560 Arriba, Arriba 51:19.560 --> 51:23.560 But what I mean is, would you prefer a young man with no money or an old man with a lot of money? 51:23.560 --> 51:26.560 A young man with a lot of old money 51:27.560 --> 51:29.560 Well, come on, Judy, let's go over the boat once more 51:29.560 --> 51:32.560 From stern to stem, stem to stern, maybe there's a stowaway 51:32.560 --> 51:34.560 Man overboard 51:34.560 --> 51:38.560 Listen, honey, man overboard, I knew there was a man on this boat somewhere 51:38.560 --> 51:39.560 Come on, Judy, let's go get him 51:39.560 --> 51:41.560 Arriba, Arriba 51:44.560 --> 51:47.560 We're back in the office 51:47.560 --> 51:50.560 Not in the time zone 51:50.560 --> 51:52.560 But you can see 51:52.560 --> 51:54.560 Our minds are not at our word 51:54.560 --> 51:55.560 Oh, hear me screaming 51:55.560 --> 51:57.560 Arriba 51:57.560 --> 52:04.560 Stay away from my door 52:18.560 --> 52:24.560 Here are two tobacco salesmen who are welcome at my door anytime, Bob Hope and Bing Crosby 52:24.560 --> 52:27.560 Now here's Chesterfield's answer to Cyrano de Bergerac, Bob Hope 52:27.560 --> 52:30.560 I'd top Yeezy, Dad, but we only have a minute here to sell Chesterfields 52:30.560 --> 52:31.560 Okay, well let's get to it 52:31.560 --> 52:36.560 Better Tasting Chesterfield is the only cigarette that combines for you mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste 52:36.560 --> 52:40.560 The mildness is a cinch to prove, you just make the Chesterfield mildness test 52:40.560 --> 52:46.560 You know, open a pack and enjoy that milder aroma, then smoke them and you'll know that Chesterfields are mild 52:46.560 --> 52:48.560 And Chesterfield leaves no unpleasant aftertaste 52:48.560 --> 52:52.560 That fact has been confirmed by the country's first and only cigarette taste panel 52:52.560 --> 52:54.560 So make our cigarette your cigarette 52:54.560 --> 52:56.560 The reasons go together like this 52:57.560 --> 53:02.560 By Chesterfield, Chesterfield, the one that proves its case 53:02.560 --> 53:05.560 Yes, Chesterfields are milder, milder, plus no aftertaste 53:05.560 --> 53:10.560 So, open the pack and give them a sniff, then you'll smoke them 53:17.560 --> 53:20.560 Well, darlings, we have a lot more show for you 53:20.560 --> 53:23.560 Rex Harrison and Lily Palmer are going to do a beautiful dramatic spot 53:23.560 --> 53:26.560 We have Jackie Miles coming up with one of his famous monologues 53:26.560 --> 53:30.560 And Jimmy Durante and Judy Holliday have a surprise 53:30.560 --> 53:32.560 And Ann Cornell will also be back 53:32.560 --> 53:34.560 But first, Ed Hurley, he wants to say 53:34.560 --> 53:37.560 This portion of the program has been brought to you by the makers of Anison 53:37.560 --> 53:40.560 For fast relief from the pain of headache, neuritis and neuralgia 53:40.560 --> 53:44.560 By RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television 53:44.560 --> 53:49.560 And by Chesterfield, the cigarette that has for you what every smoker wants 53:49.560 --> 53:51.560 A mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste 53:51.560 --> 53:53.560 The best cigarette for you to smoke 53:53.560 --> 53:55.560 And now, Tallulah, if you'll ring your chimes 53:55.560 --> 53:56.560 Thank you, Ed 53:56.560 --> 54:00.560 This, darlings, is NBC, the national broadcasting company 54:07.560 --> 54:09.560 This is the big show 54:09.560 --> 54:12.560 And here is Tallulah Bankhead to introduce her next guest 54:12.560 --> 54:16.560 And it's a pleasure to present him, a clever young man with a style of his own 54:16.560 --> 54:19.560 Which has been rocking the Better Night Club for many a year 54:19.560 --> 54:24.560 That would be none other than the appealing and personable little fella, Jackie Miles 54:29.560 --> 54:32.560 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you, Tallulah 54:32.560 --> 54:35.560 Gee, it's wonderful to be on the big show, and radio particularly 54:35.560 --> 54:39.560 I'm crazy about radio because radio is the medium that really made the American home happier 54:39.560 --> 54:43.560 I don't know, Tallulah, if you have a television set in your home and you're nice people listening to have one 54:43.560 --> 54:46.560 But if you do, you know what television has done to the American home 54:46.560 --> 54:48.560 It's ruined mine 54:48.560 --> 54:50.560 I was introduced to television through my wife 54:50.560 --> 54:51.560 I'm married to her 54:51.560 --> 54:54.560 You don't think I look like this from an accident 54:54.560 --> 54:57.560 About a year and a half ago, my wife and I were sitting in the living room 54:57.560 --> 55:01.560 And my wife was talking to me, and suddenly she interrupted herself to tell me something 55:04.560 --> 55:06.560 Tallulah, you must allow me that little joke 55:06.560 --> 55:08.560 Because nature has been so kind to you, ladies 55:08.560 --> 55:10.560 It's given you a beautiful body 55:10.560 --> 55:12.560 Wonderful head of hair, gorgeous eyes, lovely nose 55:12.560 --> 55:14.560 Perfect teeth, beautiful mouth 55:14.560 --> 55:16.560 Then put a tongue in it and spoil the whole joke 55:18.560 --> 55:23.560 Well, my wife said to me, Jack, she said, how much does it cost us in the course of a year to go out and see shows and look for entertainment? 55:23.560 --> 55:28.560 I said, well, honey, in the business I'm in, it's a lot of money, about $10,000 a year 55:28.560 --> 55:30.560 Anyway, that's what I put down 55:32.560 --> 55:34.560 So she said to me, good gosh 55:34.560 --> 55:37.560 She talks like that, you know, Connecticut girl 55:38.560 --> 55:39.560 She said, what a disgusting waste of money 55:39.560 --> 55:42.560 She said, sweetheart, I know where we can get a television set for $500 55:42.560 --> 55:44.560 She said, we stay home and watch the shows on television 55:44.560 --> 55:49.560 We'd save $9,500 the first year and $10,000 a year after that 55:49.560 --> 55:54.560 See, wives have the wonderful faculty for saving money the husband didn't make yet 55:55.560 --> 55:57.560 The money he makes, they got a budget book for 55:58.560 --> 56:01.560 Well, I bit for it, I said, okay, honey, go ahead, the kid didn't like it anyway 56:01.560 --> 56:02.560 She went out and ordered the television set 56:02.560 --> 56:04.560 Now, I'll never forget this, if I lived to be a million 56:04.560 --> 56:06.560 And I know I look like I got three days to go 56:06.560 --> 56:09.560 The set arrived on a Thursday afternoon at 4.30 56:09.560 --> 56:12.560 At 4.25, they were setting the antenna up on my roof 56:12.560 --> 56:16.560 At 4.26, my doorbell rang, I opened it and there was my landlord, the happy monster 56:17.560 --> 56:20.560 I said, what are you doing here? It's so far from the first 56:20.560 --> 56:22.560 He said, I understand you bought a television set 56:22.560 --> 56:25.560 I said, yes, he said, and they're putting the antenna up on my roof 56:25.560 --> 56:27.560 Didn't like the way he said my roof 56:27.560 --> 56:31.560 I said, I'm paying rent, I don't want the whole roof, just a little part, you know 56:31.560 --> 56:33.560 He said, we don't allow it 56:33.560 --> 56:35.560 I said, how can you say that? I'm stuck $500 for the set 56:35.560 --> 56:37.560 You'll break my kid's heart 56:37.560 --> 56:39.560 He said, well, we don't exactly don't allow it 56:39.560 --> 56:43.560 If you sign a new lease with a 15% increase on a 15% increase, we allow it 56:44.560 --> 56:47.560 Well, you can't break your kid's heart, so I broke mine, I signed it 56:48.560 --> 56:51.560 At 5 o'clock, the set was completely installed and that's when the trouble started 56:51.560 --> 56:53.560 My boy in the meantime was running around the neighborhood yelling 56:53.560 --> 56:55.560 My daddy bought a television set 56:55.560 --> 56:58.560 At 5.30, every kid in the neighborhood was in my apartment 56:58.560 --> 57:00.560 62 kids 57:00.560 --> 57:04.560 Watching a show, you should excuse the expression called Howdy Doody 57:05.560 --> 57:09.560 21 kids trying to get into the bathroom at the same time 57:11.560 --> 57:15.560 The other 41 too busy watching the television set, they made from the living room a bathroom 57:19.560 --> 57:23.560 Until 7.30, after Kukla, Fran and Ali, every mother came into our apartment, dragged the kids out and mad at us 57:23.560 --> 57:26.560 Because the kids had missed their dinner as though it were our fault 57:26.560 --> 57:32.560 We cleaned up the place, it was about 9.30 when we got it about ready when all the fellas in the neighborhood came down to watch the fights 57:33.560 --> 57:38.560 You know as well as I do, friends, you just don't sit around a television set and watch fights 57:39.560 --> 57:41.560 You make sociable bets 57:42.560 --> 57:46.560 I emptied my icebox, drank up my whiskey and I didn't catch a bet 57:47.560 --> 57:51.560 That wouldn't bother me, but what the television set's done to my home life proper, we used to be a happy family 57:52.560 --> 57:53.560 It's ridiculous now 57:53.560 --> 57:55.560 My kids don't talk English anymore 57:56.560 --> 58:02.560 He has seen so many cowboy pictures in the morning, he'll look at my wife and he'll say, Ma, I ain't hankering for no cereal 58:05.560 --> 58:07.560 Since we got to television, he said he's an idiot 58:07.560 --> 58:10.560 The other day I said to the kid, how much is two and two? He said, channel four 58:12.560 --> 58:16.560 And my wife, she used to be a lovely gal, now she watches all those chopped up movies you see on television 58:17.560 --> 58:20.560 That's not tough enough, but she buys what they sell during the picture 58:20.560 --> 58:22.560 Anything that cost a dollar she buys 58:23.560 --> 58:26.560 We now got a kitchen with kitchen utensils no kitchen could use 58:28.560 --> 58:29.560 Who? 58:33.560 --> 58:36.560 A lovely gal, now she watches all those chopped up movies you see on television 58:37.560 --> 58:40.560 That's not tough enough, but she buys what they sell during the picture 58:41.560 --> 58:43.560 Anything that cost a dollar she buys 58:44.560 --> 58:47.560 We now got a kitchen with kitchen utensils no kitchen could use 58:47.560 --> 58:50.560 Who cares if you can slice a pickle on a 45 degree angle, who cares? 58:53.560 --> 58:54.560 She bought it 58:55.560 --> 58:58.560 So I made a good coleslaw all day, she's rubbing cabbages on this thing 58:59.560 --> 59:03.560 We get coleslaw with a cereal in the morning for lunch, for dinner, coleslaw 59:04.560 --> 59:07.560 She bought another thing, a grating machine that makes carrot juice 59:08.560 --> 59:09.560 I never drank it in my life 59:10.560 --> 59:12.560 She's rubbing carrots and I'm drinking carrot juice now 59:13.560 --> 59:14.560 Never had carrot juice before 59:14.560 --> 59:16.560 I'm drinking carrots and I'm drinking carrot juice now 59:17.560 --> 59:20.560 Never had trouble with my eyes, I'm going blind since I'm drinking this stuff 59:22.560 --> 59:26.560 Well another thing, a thing called Quickie Pymaker, this is the doll 59:27.560 --> 59:31.560 Quickie Pymaker, two pieces of bread with applesauce in the middle, this is pie but I'm eating it, she makes it 59:34.560 --> 59:38.560 And they sell another thing called magic towels, why do you think they call them magic towels? 59:38.560 --> 59:43.560 We sent them the dollar, never got the towels, nice 59:44.560 --> 59:49.560 My wife used to cook the kind of things I could eat, simple food, steaks, chops, now she watches those chefs on television 59:50.560 --> 59:55.560 I am living on bainty dishes like chocolate covered oysters 59:56.560 --> 01:00:00.560 For a Sunday special, marinated herring stuffed with halva 01:00:00.560 --> 01:00:06.560 Like I said we were happy but since we got this set it's ridiculous, we fight all the time, we never used to fight 01:00:07.560 --> 01:00:11.560 Now it's a consistent battle, she wants to watch the fashion show, I want to watch the ball game 01:00:12.560 --> 01:00:14.560 She wants to watch Milton Berle and that hurts me 01:00:15.560 --> 01:00:19.560 To make a long story short, she's got the kid now and she's living with her mother 01:00:19.560 --> 01:00:29.560 That's not the worst of it, she's suing me for divorce and she wants custody at a television set 01:00:40.560 --> 01:00:46.560 I don't my Easter bonnet to you Jackie Maas for most amusing monologue and his further cause for throwing hats in the air 01:00:46.560 --> 01:00:56.560 In December 1948, Rex Harrison opened in what proved to be a run of memorable performances at the Schubert Theatre in Maxwell Anderson's story of a tragic queen 01:00:57.560 --> 01:01:04.560 Anne of the Thousand Days, his betrayal of Henry VIII in that play is still a vivid theatrical memory for us all 01:01:05.560 --> 01:01:13.560 Tonight Mr Harrison recreates the role of the despotic monarch and in the company of his beautiful wife, Lily Palmer as Anne Boleyn 01:01:13.560 --> 01:01:17.560 brings us scenes from Maxwell Anderson's Anne of the Thousand Days 01:01:31.560 --> 01:01:34.560 We meet first the king, played by Rex Harrison 01:01:35.560 --> 01:01:39.560 The stage is shadowed, menacing with the vastness of Toulouse 01:01:39.560 --> 01:01:45.560 The king is deliberating over signing the death warrant of his wife Anne Boleyn 01:01:50.560 --> 01:01:56.560 This is hard to do when you come to put pen to paper and you say to yourself, she must die 01:01:57.560 --> 01:02:00.560 And she must if things are to go as planned 01:02:01.560 --> 01:02:06.560 Yes, if things are to go at all, if I'm to rule and keep my sanity and hold my England off the rocks 01:02:06.560 --> 01:02:13.560 It's a lee shore and a low tide and the winds are gale and the Spanish rocks are bare and sharp 01:02:14.560 --> 01:02:16.560 Go back to it, Henry, go back to it 01:02:17.560 --> 01:02:19.560 Keep your mind on this parchment you must sign 01:02:20.560 --> 01:02:22.560 Tip your pen in the ink, write your name 01:02:23.560 --> 01:02:30.560 Oh, you've condemned men, nobles and peasants, she's struck down a few herself for driven you to it 01:02:30.560 --> 01:02:37.560 It's only that a woman that you've held in your arms longed for when she was away and suffered with 01:02:38.560 --> 01:02:43.560 No, but she promised you an heir, write it down, write Henry Rex and it's done 01:02:44.560 --> 01:02:47.560 And then the headsman will cry out suddenly, look, look there 01:02:48.560 --> 01:02:51.560 And point to the first flash of sunrise and she'll look, not knowing what he means 01:02:52.560 --> 01:02:57.560 And his sword will flash in the flick of the sun to the little bones of her neck as she looks away and it'll be done 01:02:57.560 --> 01:02:58.560 It'll be done 01:03:00.560 --> 01:03:02.560 How did you come to this? 01:03:03.560 --> 01:03:09.560 What were you like, Henry, when she flashed her first anger at you ten years ago in spring? 01:03:09.560 --> 01:03:32.560 How hopeful were you, how mistaken then, how ridiculous and how much in love? 01:03:32.560 --> 01:03:46.560 The dark closes in and the scene flees swiftly to the Tower of London, now a fugitive ray, a flicker from the vanishing day, illuminates the Queen and, too, thinks her thoughts 01:03:46.560 --> 01:04:08.560 If I were to die now, oh, but I must not die yet, not yet, it's been too brief, a few weeks and days 01:04:08.560 --> 01:04:23.560 How many days, I wonder, since the first time I gave myself to that last day when he left me at the lists and I saw him no more 01:04:24.560 --> 01:04:33.560 Well, I can reckon it, I have time enough, those who sit in the tower don't lack for time 01:04:33.560 --> 01:04:43.560 He could never cipher, he was shrewd and heavy and cunning with his tongue and wary and intrigued 01:04:44.560 --> 01:04:50.560 But when it came to adding up an account, he filled it with errors and bit his tongue and swore 01:04:51.560 --> 01:04:54.560 Till I slapped his hands like a child and took the pen and made it straight 01:04:55.560 --> 01:04:59.560 A king, I said, a king and cannot reckon 01:04:59.560 --> 01:05:05.560 I was his clever girl then, his man 01:05:06.560 --> 01:05:20.560 Why do I think of it now? Would he kill me? Kill me? Henry, the fool, that great fool, kill me? 01:05:20.560 --> 01:05:39.560 Could I kill him, I wonder? I feel it in my hands, perhaps I could, so perhaps he could kill me, perhaps he could kill me 01:05:39.560 --> 01:05:49.560 The Dies Cast 01:05:50.560 --> 01:05:57.560 The Dies Cast, the wondrous moment of love and marriage, fled, and has reached the end of her thousand days 01:05:58.560 --> 01:06:06.560 A light that has no sun in it falls through leaded windows and makes pale the cheek of the queen who stands accused of infidelity 01:06:06.560 --> 01:06:14.560 The trial, the travesty, nears its end, but Henry has not been able to stay away 01:06:15.560 --> 01:06:17.560 I was a fool to come here 01:06:18.560 --> 01:06:19.560 Why did you come? 01:06:20.560 --> 01:06:26.560 Because I wanted to know, because I wanted to know, and still I don't know, no man ever knows 01:06:27.560 --> 01:06:29.560 Whether I was unfaithful to you? 01:06:29.560 --> 01:06:36.560 Yes, just that, whether you were unfaithful to me while I loved you, but I'll never know whether you say yes or no 01:06:37.560 --> 01:06:41.560 I won't be sure either way, fool, that I am, that all men are 01:06:42.560 --> 01:06:48.560 They are fools and fools, King Henry, you've shut me up here to be tried for adultery and treason toward you 01:06:49.560 --> 01:06:52.560 You've done this because you love elsewhere, and I know it 01:06:52.560 --> 01:07:02.560 But now you come here to make sure whether they were truly adultery, because that would touch your manhood and your pride 01:07:03.560 --> 01:07:12.560 And you wait and listen, a cat in a corner watching the pet mouse run before it died, and then you come out to make sure 01:07:12.560 --> 01:07:28.560 Oh fool, oh fool, even so, my heart and my eyes are glad of you, fool of all women that I am, I'm glad of you here 01:07:29.560 --> 01:07:36.560 Go then, keep your pride of manhood, you know about me now 01:07:37.560 --> 01:07:37.560 Nan 01:07:38.560 --> 01:07:39.560 Mind I ask no pity of you? 01:07:39.560 --> 01:07:45.560 Nan, I have no wish to harm you, I am much moved by what you said 01:07:46.560 --> 01:07:50.560 I'd rather a year cut out of my life than do you wrong after these words of yours 01:07:51.560 --> 01:07:55.560 Did you say, did you say truly you were glad of me here? 01:07:56.560 --> 01:08:00.560 I won't say it again, but I did say it, and it was true 01:08:01.560 --> 01:08:05.560 Then let's do all this gently, Nan, for old times sake 01:08:05.560 --> 01:08:08.560 I have to prove that I can father a king to follow me 01:08:09.560 --> 01:08:15.560 You and I will not have a son now, God has spoken there, go quietly, sign the nullification 01:08:16.560 --> 01:08:26.560 No, we were king and queen, man and wife together, I keep that, take it from me as best you can 01:08:27.560 --> 01:08:28.560 You do leave me no choice 01:08:29.560 --> 01:08:30.560 Would you let this grind on the way it's going? 01:08:30.560 --> 01:08:35.560 You word of itself, your purpose, I remember your saying, let them die upon the time, you've forgotten it no doubt 01:08:36.560 --> 01:08:42.560 No, I did say it, these things look different from the other end 01:08:43.560 --> 01:08:48.560 If I'd known then what I feel now, I couldn't have done it 01:08:49.560 --> 01:08:49.560 No 01:08:50.560 --> 01:08:52.560 I've been your wife, could you do it to me? 01:08:53.560 --> 01:08:55.560 Yes, if you stood in my way, defiantly as you do 01:08:55.560 --> 01:09:00.560 You're not old, you belong a king, but you're still young and could change 01:09:01.560 --> 01:09:03.560 You said on that one day when we loved each other, remember? 01:09:04.560 --> 01:09:14.560 That one day when I loved you and you loved me, that you could change, would seek justice, would be such a king as man hoped you'd be when you came to the throne 01:09:15.560 --> 01:09:17.560 It's not too late for that 01:09:17.560 --> 01:09:29.560 Only if you harden in your mind toward me and say it's nothing like the other rats and rabbits, let her be cut and torn and buried 01:09:30.560 --> 01:09:39.560 Then I think it will be indeed too late, the king, the great king you might have been, will have died in you 01:09:39.560 --> 01:09:48.560 Now I'll tell you truly, I do want to begin again and I can't with you, you brought me into blood 01:09:49.560 --> 01:09:55.560 That bloody business of the death of more and all the pitiful folk who were like him and wouldn't sign, your hand was to that, it's bloodstained 01:09:56.560 --> 01:10:06.560 And yours, not yours, what you truly want, though you may not know it, is a fresh frail innocent maid who will make you feel fresh and innocent again and young again 01:10:06.560 --> 01:10:14.560 Jane Seymour is the name, it could be anyone, only virginal and sweet, and when you've had her, you'll want someone else 01:10:15.560 --> 01:10:16.560 It's not true 01:10:16.560 --> 01:10:18.560 Meanwhile to get her you'll murder if you must 01:10:19.560 --> 01:10:20.560 Why then you've decided and so have I 01:10:21.560 --> 01:10:33.560 Before you go, perhaps you should hear one thing, I lied to you, I loved you but I lied to you, I was untrue, untrue with many 01:10:34.560 --> 01:10:35.560 Is it a lie? 01:10:35.560 --> 01:10:40.560 Is it? Take it to your grave, believe it, I was untrue 01:10:41.560 --> 01:10:44.560 Why then you settled, it's settled, you asked for it, you shall have it 01:10:44.560 --> 01:10:52.560 Quite correct, only what I take to my grave you take to yours, with many, not with one, many 01:10:53.560 --> 01:10:59.560 She's guilty, proceed with the mummering, I sing with you, lend me a pen 01:10:59.560 --> 01:11:11.560 She lies, she lies, she was not unfaithful to me, but if she lies, let her die for lying, let her die 01:11:12.560 --> 01:11:26.560 Oh God, oh God, sometimes I seem to sit in an emotionless dream and watch while I do a horrible thing and know that I do it and all the clocks in all the world stand still 01:11:26.560 --> 01:11:36.560 Waiting, what is she thinking in this haunted interval while no moat falls through the shaft of sunlight and no man takes a breath? 01:11:40.560 --> 01:11:50.560 I've never thought what it was like to die, to become meat that rots, then food for shrubs and the long roots of vines 01:11:50.560 --> 01:11:56.560 The grief could reach me, I may make him drunk before many years 01:11:57.560 --> 01:12:07.560 Someone told me the story of the homely daughter of Sir Thomas More, climbing at night up the trestles of London Bridge where they stuck her father's head on a pike 01:12:08.560 --> 01:12:18.560 And hunting among the stinking and bloody heads of criminals till she found her father's head, his beard matted and hard with blood and climbing down with it and taking it home 01:12:18.560 --> 01:12:26.560 The baddie in the garden perhaps, would they fix my head up on London Bridge? 01:12:27.560 --> 01:12:33.560 No, no even Henry would object to that, I've been his queen, he kissed my lips 01:12:34.560 --> 01:12:36.560 No, he wouldn't want it 01:12:37.560 --> 01:12:41.560 No, I lie in lead or brass 01:12:41.560 --> 01:12:54.560 Meat, dead meat, but if my head were on the bridge he wouldn't climb to take it down, nobody'd climb for me 01:12:55.560 --> 01:13:03.560 I could stay and face up the river and my long hair blow out and tang around the spikes in my small neck 01:13:03.560 --> 01:13:12.560 Till the sea birds took me and there was nothing but a wisp of hair and a cup of bone 01:13:13.560 --> 01:13:23.560 I must think of something to say when the time comes, if I could say it with the axe edged toward me, could I do it? 01:13:24.560 --> 01:13:27.560 Could I lay my head down and smile and speak till the blow comes? 01:13:27.560 --> 01:13:35.560 He say it's subtle, it doesn't hurt, there's no time, no time! That's the end of time 01:13:38.560 --> 01:13:40.560 Shall I tear this? 01:13:40.560 --> 01:14:00.560 No, go your way and I'll go mine, you to your death and I to my expiation, for there is such a thing as expiation, it involves dying to live 01:14:01.560 --> 01:14:06.560 Death is a thing the coroner can see, I'll stick by that 01:14:06.560 --> 01:14:13.560 A coroner wouldn't know you died young Henry, and yet you did 01:14:13.560 --> 01:14:36.560 Kirk, Kirk, burn these records, the trial is over, the thing is done! 01:14:43.560 --> 01:14:57.560 To you, Rex Harrison and Lily Palmer, our highest praise for one of the finest dramatic contributions to the big show 01:14:58.560 --> 01:15:02.560 Oh, I don't know, Toulouse, did you ever hear me play Henry VIII? 01:15:03.560 --> 01:15:04.560 You, Jimmy 01:15:05.560 --> 01:15:11.560 And why not, me and my leading lady, Miss Judy Halliday, a little music, a little music, Meredith? 01:15:11.560 --> 01:15:18.560 Yes, Meredith, some King Henry music, preferably you go to my head 01:15:18.560 --> 01:15:40.560 It's hard to sign this paper and have her beheaded, it's hard to do, I can't write 01:15:40.560 --> 01:15:47.560 I'll just sign it with a Rex, but should I or shouldn't I? 01:15:48.560 --> 01:15:50.560 Wouldst I should or wouldst I shouldn't? 01:15:51.560 --> 01:15:55.560 What if I do cut off her head, she'll still have one left over? 01:15:56.560 --> 01:16:04.560 But on the other hand, I hate to do it, she just bought a new Easter hat yesterday, I'm torn between should and shouldn't 01:16:04.560 --> 01:16:11.560 I know what, I'll toss a coin, heads I cut off her head, tails I'm in trouble 01:16:11.560 --> 01:16:15.560 I'm in trouble 01:16:31.560 --> 01:16:36.560 They say when they cut your head off these days it's very fast 01:16:36.560 --> 01:16:40.560 Push pull, click click, new blade 01:16:43.560 --> 01:16:49.560 I hope it don't hurt, before he cuts my head off I'll take a couple ass, Anderson 01:16:50.560 --> 01:16:54.560 Oh, I'm glad you didn't say that, boy 01:16:57.560 --> 01:17:00.560 We'd have been out of a job 01:17:00.560 --> 01:17:05.560 Oh, I've got to remember to break my appointment with a dentist 01:17:06.560 --> 01:17:09.560 I wonder is he going to do it or not? 01:17:10.560 --> 01:17:13.560 Henry, Henry Tudor 01:17:14.560 --> 01:17:16.560 Coming Nana 01:17:17.560 --> 01:17:23.560 I don't know why he's in such a hurry to cut off my head, why don't you wait a little while, maybe he'll fall off by itself 01:17:23.560 --> 01:17:33.560 And all I want to know is one thing, before I have you beheaded, do you have any other boyfriends? 01:17:34.560 --> 01:17:36.560 Well, answer me 01:17:40.560 --> 01:17:43.560 I think I'll rest on my laurels 01:17:44.560 --> 01:17:46.560 Will you talk to me, look at me 01:17:47.560 --> 01:17:49.560 Stop staring at my neck 01:17:49.560 --> 01:17:51.560 Oh, no 01:17:52.560 --> 01:18:02.560 Anne, I love you, let's you and me start over again, just you and me, just the two of us, I love you Anne 01:18:03.560 --> 01:18:07.560 Henry, will you put that chicken down when you're talking to me, we're slob 01:18:08.560 --> 01:18:11.560 Always eating, now when did they call you Henry the 8th? 01:18:11.560 --> 01:18:18.560 Anne, answer me, did you ever have another boyfriend? 01:18:19.560 --> 01:18:21.560 Answer me no questions, I'll tell you no lies 01:18:22.560 --> 01:18:23.560 Who was he? 01:18:24.560 --> 01:18:25.560 Guess 01:18:26.560 --> 01:18:27.560 Willie? 01:18:27.560 --> 01:18:28.560 No 01:18:28.560 --> 01:18:29.560 Dave? 01:18:29.560 --> 01:18:30.560 No 01:18:30.560 --> 01:18:31.560 Jim? 01:18:31.560 --> 01:18:32.560 Jim who? 01:18:33.560 --> 01:18:34.560 Jim Williams 01:18:34.560 --> 01:18:35.560 No 01:18:36.560 --> 01:18:37.560 George? 01:18:37.560 --> 01:18:38.560 No 01:18:38.560 --> 01:18:39.560 Tom? 01:18:39.560 --> 01:18:40.560 No 01:18:40.560 --> 01:18:41.560 Jim who? 01:18:41.560 --> 01:18:42.560 Jim Baxter 01:18:42.560 --> 01:18:43.560 No 01:18:44.560 --> 01:18:45.560 Am I warm? 01:18:46.560 --> 01:18:47.560 I can't remember 01:18:54.560 --> 01:19:01.560 Can't remember, huh? Can't, huh? Honestly, you lose your head if it wasn't attached to your shoulders 01:19:01.560 --> 01:19:03.560 Why do you have to cut off my head? 01:19:03.560 --> 01:19:06.560 Because then I will be taller than you are 01:19:06.560 --> 01:19:10.560 What if I can't you lop a little off the other end? 01:19:11.560 --> 01:19:15.560 I'm sorry, it's the best I can do, no hard feelings Anne, you ain't mad 01:19:15.560 --> 01:19:38.560 No, I should say not, look I sing, bewitched, bothered and beheaded am I 01:19:38.560 --> 01:20:01.560 America, America, America 01:20:01.560 --> 01:20:07.560 This is Easter Sunday, a day of hopes reborn and of faith rededicated 01:20:07.560 --> 01:20:10.560 One of its symbols is the white cross of the lily 01:20:10.560 --> 01:20:14.560 Today, by coincidence, is also the anniversary of a death 01:20:14.560 --> 01:20:20.560 The death of Clara Barton, whose life is symbolized by another cross, the red cross 01:20:20.560 --> 01:20:28.560 Emblem of man's love for man and the doctrine that each of us is and must be his brother's keeper 01:20:28.560 --> 01:20:33.560 On this feast of the resurrection, I want you to hear part of a letter 01:20:33.560 --> 01:20:37.560 It came not to us, but to the American Red Cross 01:20:37.560 --> 01:20:44.560 It's signed by a man who discovered the true meaning of the red cross on the battlefields of Korea 01:20:44.560 --> 01:21:12.560 He writes, They picked me up for dead last fall near the Naktong River in Korea 01:21:12.560 --> 01:21:16.560 And when I came to, I was in a hospital in Osaka 01:21:16.560 --> 01:21:23.560 There was somebody holding my hand, just sitting there holding my hand, not talking 01:21:23.560 --> 01:21:33.560 I didn't feel like talking, I was blind and scared, so scared, it was like I was a baby 01:21:33.560 --> 01:21:39.560 I pretended to myself it was my mother's hand, I guess I must have almost broken it 01:21:39.560 --> 01:21:46.560 Well, after a while, she began to talk, low and slow and sort of easy 01:21:46.560 --> 01:21:50.560 She said she was with the Red Cross, a gray lady 01:21:50.560 --> 01:21:56.560 And she didn't give me any hooey about everything being just fine, it was rugged 01:21:56.560 --> 01:21:59.560 She knew it, and I knew it 01:21:59.560 --> 01:22:05.560 We talked, not just once or twice, but for days 01:22:05.560 --> 01:22:12.560 And after a while, I came around to where I wasn't feeling on top of the world, but well, I could take it 01:22:12.560 --> 01:22:16.560 Then all of a sudden it hit me, what about my family? 01:22:16.560 --> 01:22:19.560 How were they going to feel when they found I was blind? 01:22:19.560 --> 01:22:23.560 And they were going to spend the rest of their lives taking care of me 01:22:23.560 --> 01:22:31.560 She wrote a letter, and they got it, so that when I got back home, they were like me, they could take it 01:22:31.560 --> 01:22:36.560 They operated on my head while I was still in Japan, and I guess it was really something 01:22:36.560 --> 01:22:41.560 Because they had to give me nine pints of Red Cross blood to keep me alive 01:22:41.560 --> 01:22:46.560 And right now I'm walking around with a plastic graft under my haircut 01:22:46.560 --> 01:22:52.560 Back in the States at St. Albans Hospital, the Red Cross was just like it was over there 01:22:52.560 --> 01:22:56.560 Somebody always doing something for me 01:22:56.560 --> 01:23:04.560 I'm out on convalescent leave, and I can see I've got my sight back 01:23:04.560 --> 01:23:12.560 I just want to say thanks, thanks to the Red Cross, thanks for everything 01:23:12.560 --> 01:23:18.560 Signed, Sergeant William Botashnik 01:23:18.560 --> 01:23:23.560 Ladies and gentlemen, need I say more? 01:23:23.560 --> 01:23:36.560 America, America, America 01:23:36.560 --> 01:23:48.560 America, live on 01:23:48.560 --> 01:23:56.560 Ladies and gentlemen, on this Easter Sunday, let us give more than we ever have before to the American Red Cross 01:23:56.560 --> 01:24:10.560 Well, darlings, we're off now for Hollywood, but I guess next week will be Miss Ethel Barrymore, Bing Crosby, Joan Davis, Bob Hope, Van Johnson, Edgy O'Pinza, and others 01:24:10.560 --> 01:24:15.560 And of course, our very own Meredith Wilson and the Big Show Orchestra and Chorus 01:24:15.560 --> 01:24:26.560 Until then, may the good Lord bless and keep you, whether near or far away 01:24:26.560 --> 01:24:27.560 Judy? 01:24:27.560 --> 01:24:36.560 May you find that long-awaited golden day today 01:24:36.560 --> 01:24:37.560 Jackie? 01:24:37.560 --> 01:24:46.560 May your troubles all be small ones and your fortunes ten times ten 01:24:46.560 --> 01:24:48.560 Jimmy? 01:24:48.560 --> 01:24:57.560 May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again 01:24:57.560 --> 01:24:58.560 Louis? 01:24:58.560 --> 01:25:08.560 May you walk with sunlight shining and a bluebird in every tree 01:25:08.560 --> 01:25:09.560 Meredith? 01:25:09.560 --> 01:25:19.560 May there be a silver lining like of every cloud you see 01:25:19.560 --> 01:25:28.560 Rex? 01:25:28.560 --> 01:25:38.560 May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again 01:25:38.560 --> 01:25:40.560 Don? 01:25:40.560 --> 01:25:52.560 May you long recall each rainbow, then you'll soon forget the rain 01:25:52.560 --> 01:26:03.560 May the warm and tender memories be the ones that will remain 01:26:03.560 --> 01:26:17.560 Fill your dreams with sweet tomorrow, never mind what the high path is 01:26:17.560 --> 01:26:28.560 May the good Lord bless and keep you until we meet again 01:26:28.560 --> 01:26:55.560 May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet, till we meet again 01:26:55.560 --> 01:27:03.560 Happy Easter, darlings, and Godspeed to our armed forces all over the world who hear these broadcasts each week 01:27:03.560 --> 01:27:29.560 The Big Show is produced and directed by D. Engelbach and written by Goodman Ace, Selma Diamond, George Foster, Mort Green, and Frank Wilson. This is Ed Hurley, he's speaking. 01:27:29.560 --> 01:27:36.560 Laugh with Bill and Alice and later be sure to hear Theatre Guild on NBC.