WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:05.800 You are about to be entertained by some of the biggest names in show business. 00:05.800 --> 00:09.640 For the next hour and thirty minutes, this program will present in person such bright 00:09.640 --> 00:10.640 stars as... 00:10.640 --> 00:11.640 Joan Davis. 00:11.640 --> 00:12.640 Bob Hope. 00:12.640 --> 00:13.640 Ben Johnson. 00:13.640 --> 00:14.640 Groucho Mar. 00:14.640 --> 00:15.640 It's your pincer. 00:15.640 --> 00:16.640 Jimmy Wallington. 00:16.640 --> 00:17.640 Meredith Wilson. 00:17.640 --> 00:18.640 And my name darlings is Tallulah Bankhead. 00:18.640 --> 00:39.640 The National Broadcasting Company presents the big show. 00:39.640 --> 00:52.520 The big show. 00:52.520 --> 00:56.520 Ninety minutes with the most scintillating personalities in the entertainment world. 00:56.520 --> 01:00.960 Brought to you this Sunday and every Sunday at the same time as the Sunday feature of 01:00.960 --> 01:03.440 NBC's All Star Festival. 01:03.440 --> 01:25.960 And here is your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable Tallulah Bankhead. 01:25.960 --> 01:29.200 Well darlings, the big show is in Hollywood this week. 01:29.200 --> 01:32.360 And it's amazing the difference in the people on the two coasts. 01:32.360 --> 01:35.920 Now here everybody looks so healthy and invigorated. 01:35.920 --> 01:38.600 Back east everybody looks so pallid and investigated. 01:38.600 --> 01:43.800 Well the first thing you notice out here is how suntanned everybody is. 01:43.800 --> 01:46.240 They all look as if they'd just come back from Florida. 01:46.240 --> 01:47.240 Laugh kids. 01:47.240 --> 01:55.800 Back in New York, everybody looks so pale as if he'd just come back from Mexico. 01:55.800 --> 01:58.800 Tune in tomorrow for another episode of Just Plain Bill O'Dwyer. 01:58.800 --> 02:03.360 Here's that pushy Bob Hope. 02:03.360 --> 02:06.360 That's all? 02:06.360 --> 02:09.360 Well thanks. 02:09.360 --> 02:13.640 Thanks, that's all. 02:13.640 --> 02:18.160 Down, down, down. 02:18.160 --> 02:19.160 Thank you. 02:19.160 --> 02:20.160 How about that? 02:20.160 --> 02:21.160 Well Bob. 02:21.160 --> 02:23.160 I just submitted the Silla Ripple applause over in that corner. 02:23.160 --> 02:24.160 Thank you, thank you. 02:24.160 --> 02:27.160 They really want me, don't they? 02:27.160 --> 02:29.600 They certainly do baby. 02:29.600 --> 02:33.840 Look Bob darling, could I borrow that sweater you're wearing that lights up and says applause? 02:33.840 --> 02:36.880 If you do you'll get twice as much as I do. 02:36.880 --> 02:39.880 Now tell me Toulou. 02:39.880 --> 02:41.880 Laugh. 02:41.880 --> 02:47.080 Tell me Toulou, what are you doing here in Hollywood? 02:47.080 --> 02:48.360 You're a little off your beat aren't you? 02:48.360 --> 02:50.880 Oh darling, my beat is pretty near everywhere. 02:50.880 --> 02:54.280 Yeah that's what they say everywhere, Toulou is pretty beat. 02:54.280 --> 02:55.280 Laugh. 02:55.280 --> 03:00.560 Bob, please remember, you're only on this show because we couldn't get Maury Amsterdam. 03:00.560 --> 03:01.560 Laugh. 03:01.560 --> 03:03.560 Now what is that? 03:03.560 --> 03:05.880 Oh a plug, what do you get for that? 03:05.880 --> 03:07.800 A case of Maury Amsterdam? 03:07.800 --> 03:10.920 I only asked why you were in Hollywood because I thought you were out here to make a picture. 03:10.920 --> 03:12.920 Well don't think I haven't been asked. 03:12.920 --> 03:14.920 I know you've been asked but I'm talking about pictures. 03:14.920 --> 03:15.920 Laugh. 03:15.920 --> 03:18.920 Now what's so special about making pictures? 03:18.920 --> 03:19.920 Laugh. 03:19.920 --> 03:22.920 I'll give it to you again Bob. 03:22.920 --> 03:23.920 What's that? 03:23.920 --> 03:24.920 Now what's so special about making pictures? 03:24.920 --> 03:28.640 Just like all the other stars out here, you're so stuffy about the picture business. 03:28.640 --> 03:32.920 Oh well you're just jealous that I'm a leading man in pictures and you're not. 03:32.920 --> 03:33.920 Laugh. 03:33.920 --> 03:39.200 Say did, did you see my last picture? 03:39.200 --> 03:42.200 I hope so. 03:42.200 --> 03:44.200 Laugh. 03:44.200 --> 03:46.200 Cad. 03:46.200 --> 03:51.400 Say, but if you haven't seen my latest opus, The Lemon Drop Kid, why don't you come over 03:51.400 --> 03:53.480 to the house tonight, we'll have dinner and then I'll show you the picture. 03:53.480 --> 03:55.480 I'd rather die. 03:55.480 --> 03:56.480 Laugh. 03:56.480 --> 03:59.200 In that case, come after dinner. 03:59.200 --> 04:00.200 Laugh. 04:00.200 --> 04:03.160 You sound so bitter about the motion picture business, you should make a movie to Lula. 04:03.160 --> 04:04.160 They're talkies now you know. 04:04.160 --> 04:06.520 Is that an offer darling? 04:06.520 --> 04:08.480 You mean they're talkies now you know. 04:08.480 --> 04:11.200 I mean, you mean you and me? 04:11.200 --> 04:12.200 Well why not? 04:12.200 --> 04:16.280 You made a picture called My Favorite Blonde and you made another My Favorite Brunette. 04:16.280 --> 04:18.100 How about making a picture with me? 04:18.100 --> 04:19.100 My favorite plaid. 04:19.100 --> 04:20.100 Laugh. 04:20.100 --> 04:21.100 Isn't he sweet. 04:21.100 --> 04:24.080 Robert Hope. 04:24.080 --> 04:25.080 Or My Favorite Baritone. 04:25.080 --> 04:27.720 Bob, you're making this program a mess. 04:27.720 --> 04:30.120 Oh, I change your formula after all these weeks. 04:30.120 --> 04:31.120 Laugh. 04:31.120 --> 04:33.720 But look to Lula, if you're really serious about doing a picture out here, the thing 04:33.720 --> 04:35.160 for you to do is to get a good manager. 04:35.160 --> 04:36.160 I have a manager. 04:36.160 --> 04:37.880 Well tell him to get you a job in pictures. 04:37.880 --> 04:38.880 I have a woman manager. 04:38.880 --> 04:39.880 Well tell her. 04:39.880 --> 04:42.600 And then get a good publicity man to get you into the columns. 04:42.600 --> 04:43.600 I have a publicity woman. 04:43.600 --> 04:46.680 Okay, and you should get yourself a good lawyer to draw up your contract. 04:46.680 --> 04:47.680 I have a lawyer. 04:47.680 --> 04:48.680 She's very, very good. 04:48.680 --> 04:53.680 Why don't you send them all over to see the Warner sisters? 04:53.680 --> 04:54.680 Laugh. 04:54.680 --> 05:03.880 Darling Bob, I don't have to go knocking on any door to get into pictures. 05:03.880 --> 05:07.280 I'm very well known on every lot in Hollywood. 05:07.280 --> 05:09.280 And some of the homes too. 05:09.280 --> 05:10.280 Laugh. 05:10.280 --> 05:12.400 I'm talking about the movie lots. 05:12.400 --> 05:16.000 The last time I worked on a lot, everybody was amazed at my drive. 05:16.000 --> 05:17.560 I was hitting on all six. 05:17.560 --> 05:19.240 I had plenty of get up and go. 05:19.240 --> 05:22.240 I didn't put on the brakes for one minute while I was on that lot. 05:22.240 --> 05:24.240 Sounds like a used car lot. 05:24.240 --> 05:25.240 Laugh. 05:25.240 --> 05:28.200 I didn't go around knocking on doors in those days. 05:28.200 --> 05:29.440 Doors meant nothing to me. 05:29.440 --> 05:33.240 I didn't care if they said president, vice president, treasurer, ladies, gentlemen. 05:33.240 --> 05:35.240 I walked right through them. 05:35.240 --> 05:36.240 Laugh. 05:36.240 --> 05:38.240 I'm leaving before the place is pinched out. 05:38.240 --> 05:39.240 Laugh. 05:39.240 --> 05:40.240 Now come back here Bob. 05:40.240 --> 05:41.240 How about the song? 05:41.240 --> 05:42.240 Song? 05:42.240 --> 05:43.240 I can't sing. 05:43.240 --> 05:44.240 Where's Gary's old man? 05:44.240 --> 05:47.240 We were supposed to sing a song together this week. 05:47.240 --> 05:48.440 He needs me now, you know. 05:48.440 --> 05:49.440 I boost him over the high notes. 05:49.440 --> 05:50.440 Laugh. 05:50.440 --> 05:53.640 Well, Mr. Crosby begged off this week's show. 05:53.640 --> 05:54.640 He's indisposed. 05:54.640 --> 05:57.920 He hasn't been well for a couple of weeks. 05:57.920 --> 05:59.920 It's something internal, I believe. 05:59.920 --> 06:00.920 Yeah, internal revenue. 06:00.920 --> 06:01.920 Laugh. 06:01.920 --> 06:05.440 I understand last March 15th he coughed up a lot of money. 06:05.440 --> 06:07.960 Oh, so that's where he hides it. 06:07.960 --> 06:08.960 Laugh. 06:08.960 --> 06:10.440 He's the only man who wears his money bell on the inside. 06:10.440 --> 06:11.440 Laugh. 06:11.440 --> 06:13.960 Well, he has a lot of business projects, hasn't he? 06:13.960 --> 06:14.960 Has he? 06:14.960 --> 06:17.880 He happens to be the exclusive West Coast distributor for money. 06:17.880 --> 06:18.880 Laugh. 06:18.880 --> 06:25.440 Not only does he work all the time, but he has a son working for him too. 06:25.440 --> 06:27.720 Between him and that boy Gary, they got more money than the government. 06:27.720 --> 06:29.400 You heard their record Uncle Sam's song. 06:29.400 --> 06:30.400 Laugh. 06:30.400 --> 06:33.640 Well, now how about the song you're going to do, Bob? 06:33.640 --> 06:35.560 Well, it's the song I did once with Crosby. 06:35.560 --> 06:38.560 If he's not here, I can't do it. 06:38.560 --> 06:40.560 Why not? 06:40.560 --> 06:41.560 Laugh. 06:41.560 --> 06:42.560 You mean? 06:42.560 --> 06:45.160 Who else? 06:45.160 --> 06:47.680 Laugh. 06:47.680 --> 06:48.680 You sing? 06:48.680 --> 06:49.680 And how? 06:49.680 --> 06:50.680 Well, okay. 06:50.680 --> 06:51.680 Let's go. 06:51.680 --> 06:52.680 Laugh. 06:52.680 --> 06:53.680 Get a load of this dialogue. 06:53.680 --> 06:54.680 Now, one of this show takes an hour and a half. 06:54.680 --> 06:55.680 But, to lose. 06:55.680 --> 06:56.680 Laugh. 06:56.680 --> 06:57.680 You got more to say? 06:57.680 --> 06:58.680 But, to lose. 06:58.680 --> 06:59.680 I don't know. 06:59.680 --> 07:00.680 Laugh. 07:00.680 --> 07:01.680 That's the funnier mic. 07:01.680 --> 07:02.680 I like to lose. 07:02.680 --> 07:03.680 Laugh. 07:03.680 --> 07:11.680 I don't know if you can do this song. 07:11.680 --> 07:13.000 It was written for Crosby and me. 07:13.000 --> 07:14.000 You won't fit the lyric. 07:14.000 --> 07:15.360 Well, let's try it maybe. 07:15.360 --> 07:17.120 I will fit some of the lyrics. 07:17.120 --> 07:18.120 Okay, here we go. 07:18.120 --> 07:27.800 I don't care where I'm going just as long as I'm with you. 07:27.800 --> 07:29.800 Put it there, pal. 07:29.800 --> 07:32.160 Put it there. 07:32.160 --> 07:34.400 I'll be just like your old toupee. 07:34.400 --> 07:36.800 I'll stick to you like glue. 07:36.800 --> 07:37.800 That doesn't fit me. 07:37.800 --> 07:38.800 Put it there, pal. 07:38.800 --> 07:39.800 Put it there, pal. 07:39.800 --> 07:40.800 Put it there, pal. 07:40.800 --> 07:41.800 Put it there. 07:41.800 --> 07:47.560 I'm glad you're fooling just a field and stealing all that loot. 07:47.560 --> 07:52.080 I hear your show on radio and some are kind of cute. 07:52.080 --> 07:56.320 Until they sign up, Gary, you just have to substitute. 07:56.320 --> 07:58.320 That doesn't fit me. 07:58.320 --> 08:00.320 You're faithful and you're fair. 08:00.320 --> 08:02.320 Put it there. 08:02.320 --> 08:07.000 You've got that something in your voice like sawing logs in half. 08:07.000 --> 08:09.080 That does not fit me. 08:09.080 --> 08:10.080 Put it there, pal. 08:10.080 --> 08:11.080 Put it there. 08:11.080 --> 08:12.080 I think your jokes are great. 08:12.080 --> 08:13.080 It's just that folks would rather laugh. 08:13.080 --> 08:14.080 Put it there, pal. 08:14.080 --> 08:15.080 Put it there. 08:15.080 --> 08:17.040 Your face should make a fortune, just your nose should make a lot. 08:17.040 --> 08:27.280 I like the way you wear those gaudy colored shirts you got. 08:27.280 --> 08:31.040 The only time a rainbow ever covered up a pot. 08:31.040 --> 08:32.040 That fits you. 08:32.040 --> 08:33.040 We make a plenty pal. 08:33.040 --> 08:34.040 Put it there, pal. 08:34.040 --> 08:35.040 Put it there, pal. 08:35.040 --> 08:36.040 Put it there, pal. 08:36.040 --> 08:37.040 Put it there, pal. 08:37.040 --> 08:38.040 Put it there, pal. 08:38.040 --> 08:39.040 The only time a rainbow ever covered up a pot. 08:39.040 --> 08:41.040 Now put it there. 08:41.040 --> 08:43.040 Say, you're doing okay, Toulouse. 08:43.040 --> 08:44.040 How about the two of us teaming up? 08:44.040 --> 08:45.040 We'd make a great trio. 08:45.040 --> 08:47.040 You mean me and you? 08:47.040 --> 08:49.040 Oh, that's the idea, but the billing is wrong. 08:49.040 --> 08:51.040 You mean you and me. 08:51.040 --> 08:52.040 I'll accept that. 08:54.040 --> 08:58.040 The two of us together would be great for radio. 08:58.040 --> 09:00.040 Put it there, pal. 09:00.040 --> 09:02.040 Put it there. 09:02.040 --> 09:05.040 It's time that you got rid of being 09:05.040 --> 09:07.040 he holds you back, you know. 09:07.040 --> 09:09.040 Put it there, pal. 09:09.040 --> 09:11.040 Put it there. 09:11.040 --> 09:13.040 We'd do a married couple show 09:13.040 --> 09:15.040 and call it Stormy Stripes 09:15.040 --> 09:17.040 with funny jokes 09:17.040 --> 09:20.040 and tendencies about domestic life. 09:20.040 --> 09:22.040 But you'd sound like the husband. 09:22.040 --> 09:25.040 Well, you'd make a darling wife. 09:25.040 --> 09:27.040 You'd wear the slacks in the family. 09:27.040 --> 09:30.040 You'd wear the girdle and that fist. 09:30.040 --> 09:32.040 We'd make a perfect pair. 09:32.040 --> 09:34.040 Put it there. 09:34.040 --> 09:36.040 My colleague. 09:36.040 --> 09:37.040 My crony. 09:37.040 --> 09:38.040 My cohort. 09:38.040 --> 09:39.040 My friend. 09:39.040 --> 09:40.040 Companion. 09:40.040 --> 09:41.040 Confederate. 09:41.040 --> 09:43.040 Lad fistbuster. 09:43.040 --> 09:45.040 We'll be chums to the end, 09:45.040 --> 09:47.040 just like meat and potatoes. 09:47.040 --> 09:48.040 Or sauce and tomatoes. 09:48.040 --> 09:50.040 Boy, what a brand. 09:50.040 --> 09:52.040 Don't put it in the paper. 09:52.040 --> 09:54.040 Don't put it on the air. 09:54.040 --> 09:56.040 Don't put it in your pipe. 09:56.040 --> 10:06.040 Put it there. 10:06.040 --> 10:08.040 And now, darlings, it is time to be 10:08.040 --> 10:10.040 welcomed to Metro-Golden-Mare's 10:10.040 --> 10:12.040 handsome young star, Mr. Van Johnson. 10:12.040 --> 10:27.040 Van Johnson appears now on the big show 10:27.040 --> 10:29.040 in a scene from Metro-Golden-Mare's 10:29.040 --> 10:31.040 fine new picture, Go for Broke, 10:31.040 --> 10:33.040 which again combines the talents of the team 10:33.040 --> 10:35.040 that made Battleground, 10:35.040 --> 10:39.040 Doris Sherry, Robert Parrish, and Van Johnson. 10:39.040 --> 10:42.040 Go for Broke is the story of a valiant 10:42.040 --> 10:45.040 and much-decorated unit of the United States Army, 10:45.040 --> 10:48.040 the 442nd Regimental Combat Team, 10:48.040 --> 10:50.040 made up exclusively of volunteer American 10:50.040 --> 10:52.040 citizens of Japanese ancestry, 10:52.040 --> 10:54.040 known as Nisi. 10:54.040 --> 10:56.040 Go for Broke, titled after the motto 10:56.040 --> 10:59.040 of the 442nd, a crapshooting phrase 10:59.040 --> 11:00.040 meaning, 11:00.040 --> 11:03.040 it's the story of a heroic infantry outfit 11:03.040 --> 11:06.040 and the story of a young cartoon leader 11:06.040 --> 11:07.040 in the outfit from Texas, 11:07.040 --> 11:10.040 Lieutenant Mike Grayson, who found out the hard way 11:10.040 --> 11:13.040 that he was privileged to be one of the fightingest, 11:13.040 --> 11:17.040 most elite in the entire American army. 11:17.040 --> 11:19.040 Here is Van Johnson in the role of 11:19.040 --> 11:21.040 Lieutenant Mike Grayson in the forthcoming 11:21.040 --> 11:24.040 Metro-Golden-Mare, Go for Broke. 11:24.040 --> 11:34.040 Over hill, over dale, angry hill, 11:34.040 --> 11:37.040 the dusty trail for the capelots 11:37.040 --> 11:44.040 were rolling along. 11:44.040 --> 11:47.040 The 442nd United States Infantry Regiment 11:47.040 --> 11:50.040 was born at Camp Shelby, Mississippi 11:50.040 --> 11:52.040 by order of President Roosevelt. 11:52.040 --> 11:55.040 The order read, 11:55.040 --> 11:57.040 the proposal of the War Department 11:57.040 --> 11:59.040 to organize a combat team consisting of 11:59.040 --> 12:03.040 loyal American citizens of Japanese descent 12:03.040 --> 12:05.040 as my full approval. 12:05.040 --> 12:07.040 The principle on which this country was founded 12:07.040 --> 12:10.040 and by which it has always been governed 12:10.040 --> 12:14.040 is that Americanism is a matter of the mind and heart. 12:14.040 --> 12:17.040 Americanism is not and never was 12:17.040 --> 12:20.040 a matter of race or ancestry. 12:20.040 --> 12:36.040 Sir, Lieutenant Grayson reports for duty. 12:36.040 --> 12:38.040 Addy is lieutenant. 12:38.040 --> 12:39.040 Welcome to Camp Shelby. 12:39.040 --> 12:40.040 Thank you, Colonel. 12:40.040 --> 12:42.040 Is this your first assignment since receiving your commission? 12:42.040 --> 12:43.040 Yes, sir. 12:43.040 --> 12:45.040 Well, Lieutenant, it's a rough one. 12:45.040 --> 12:47.040 We're short of officers, short of equipment, 12:47.040 --> 12:49.040 short of everything but trainees. 12:49.040 --> 12:51.040 They're coming in by the carload. 12:51.040 --> 12:55.040 This is a brand new outfit, a new kind of outfit, Lieutenant. 12:55.040 --> 12:57.040 No precedent for it except one battalion 12:57.040 --> 12:59.040 was activated in Hawaii, the 100. 12:59.040 --> 13:01.040 They haven't been put to the test yet. 13:01.040 --> 13:03.040 What do you think of this idea, Lieutenant? 13:03.040 --> 13:05.040 Sir, I'd like to make a request. 13:05.040 --> 13:06.040 Yes, what's that? 13:06.040 --> 13:08.040 I'd like your permission, sir, to put in for a transfer 13:08.040 --> 13:10.040 to the 36th Division. 13:10.040 --> 13:12.040 You see, sir, I'm from Texas. 13:12.040 --> 13:14.040 How's that got to do with it? 13:14.040 --> 13:16.040 The 36th is an old Texas National Guard unit. 13:16.040 --> 13:18.040 I've been in it ever since I got in the Army 13:18.040 --> 13:20.040 until they sent me to OCS. 13:20.040 --> 13:22.040 I took it for granted I'd go back to the 36th. 13:22.040 --> 13:25.040 Any objection to working with the kind of troops we have here? 13:25.040 --> 13:26.040 Because they're Japs? 13:26.040 --> 13:28.040 Oh, no, sir, it isn't that at all. 13:28.040 --> 13:30.040 Let's get a couple of things straight, Lieutenant. 13:30.040 --> 13:32.040 You're staying here, you got that? 13:32.040 --> 13:33.040 Yes, sir. 13:33.040 --> 13:35.040 Second, they're not Japs. 13:35.040 --> 13:37.040 They're Japanese Americans, knee-safe. 13:37.040 --> 13:40.040 Or as they call themselves, Buddhaheads. 13:40.040 --> 13:43.040 All kinds of Buddhaheads, Lieutenant. 13:43.040 --> 13:46.040 From Hawaii, Alaska, California, New York, Colorado. 13:46.040 --> 13:48.040 Yes, some from Texas. 13:48.040 --> 13:51.040 They're all American citizens and they're all volunteers. 13:51.040 --> 13:53.040 Any questions? 13:53.040 --> 13:54.040 No, sir. 13:54.040 --> 13:56.040 That will be all. 14:04.040 --> 14:05.040 Wait a minute, you. 14:05.040 --> 14:07.040 How long have you been in the Army, soldier? 14:07.040 --> 14:08.040 Oh, let me see now. 14:08.040 --> 14:11.040 Maybe I've been staying sad about two, three months. 14:11.040 --> 14:13.040 How long have you been staying sad, Lieutenant? 14:13.040 --> 14:15.040 Don't you know you're supposed to hold your salute 14:15.040 --> 14:17.040 until the officer returns it? 14:17.040 --> 14:19.040 Oh, sure, sometimes I forget. 14:19.040 --> 14:22.040 Sometimes you forget to say sir, too, don't you? 14:22.040 --> 14:23.040 Yes, sir. 14:23.040 --> 14:24.040 Is that your own uniform? 14:24.040 --> 14:27.040 Sir, that's the smallest size he got, the supply sergeant. 14:27.040 --> 14:28.040 Sir? 14:28.040 --> 14:30.040 Well, rub a little sleeves down. 14:30.040 --> 14:32.040 Straighten out your leggings. 14:32.040 --> 14:33.040 Bye-bye, sir. 14:33.040 --> 14:35.040 I see the supply sergeant again, sir. 14:35.040 --> 14:37.040 He gonna get me a smaller size. 14:37.040 --> 14:38.040 Maybe, I hope, sir. 14:38.040 --> 14:41.040 You better see somebody before I see you again. 14:41.040 --> 14:45.040 I'll see you at the park. 15:00.040 --> 15:01.040 Hey, break him up. 15:01.040 --> 15:02.040 The officer, he come. 15:02.040 --> 15:03.040 Must be the one for us. 15:03.040 --> 15:06.040 Oh, boy, eight feet tall and mean like anything. 15:06.040 --> 15:08.040 Well, the honeymoon's over. 15:08.040 --> 15:10.040 Here he comes. 15:10.040 --> 15:12.040 What was that that man just said? 15:12.040 --> 15:14.040 Excuse me, sir, I don't know. 15:14.040 --> 15:15.040 You don't know? 15:15.040 --> 15:18.040 Sorry, sir, I don't speak Japanese. 15:26.040 --> 15:27.040 Bakatari. 15:27.040 --> 15:29.040 I didn't know what that meant in those days, 15:29.040 --> 15:31.040 and I guess it's just as well. 15:31.040 --> 15:33.040 I gave those guys a pretty bad time, 15:33.040 --> 15:35.040 taking it out on them because I was stuck 15:35.040 --> 15:38.040 in what I figured to be a third-rate outfit. 15:38.040 --> 15:42.040 All I prayed for was to get back to the Texas 36th, 15:42.040 --> 15:44.040 but we gradually got ourselves whipped into shape, 15:44.040 --> 15:47.040 and by the time we hit Italy and began to see action, 15:47.040 --> 15:50.040 I began to change my mind about those Buddha heads. 15:50.040 --> 15:52.040 They were real tough boys, 15:52.040 --> 15:56.040 almost as good at GIs as you'd expect a soldier with out of Texas. 15:58.040 --> 16:00.040 We got our baptism of fire in Italy, 16:00.040 --> 16:02.040 and after a couple of months, 16:02.040 --> 16:05.040 I thought we had as much fighting as any outfit could take. 16:05.040 --> 16:08.040 Then we were shipped to France for more of the same. 16:08.040 --> 16:10.040 But I wasn't kicking because in France, 16:10.040 --> 16:12.040 we met up with my old Texas outfit. 16:12.040 --> 16:16.040 And then something happened that seemed almost too good to be true. 16:16.040 --> 16:18.040 I finally got my transfer. 16:18.040 --> 16:20.040 But a funny thing happened. 16:20.040 --> 16:23.040 I started missing those Buddha heads. 16:24.040 --> 16:26.040 It was weeks before I ran into them again 16:26.040 --> 16:28.040 in a little French cafe. 16:28.040 --> 16:30.040 Hello, Lieutenant. 16:30.040 --> 16:31.040 Tommy! 16:31.040 --> 16:33.040 Say, you're looking great. 16:33.040 --> 16:34.040 Hello, Lieutenant. 16:34.040 --> 16:36.040 Say, and when did you get those stripes? 16:36.040 --> 16:38.040 They don't care who they make platoon sergeant anymore. 16:38.040 --> 16:39.040 Oh, it's so good to see you. 16:39.040 --> 16:41.040 I'll buy you around the drinks. 16:41.040 --> 16:44.040 Sorry, sir, we won't have time. 16:45.040 --> 16:46.040 Okay. 16:46.040 --> 17:08.040 See you around. 17:08.040 --> 17:10.040 They still didn't care for me too much. 17:10.040 --> 17:12.040 Well, I couldn't blame them. 17:12.040 --> 17:15.040 I was still a Baccatari to the Buddha heads. 17:15.040 --> 17:17.040 That night, my outfit went back on the line 17:17.040 --> 17:19.040 up on a hill in the woods. 17:19.040 --> 17:22.040 We were making for the top, but the crowds were there, 17:22.040 --> 17:24.040 and pretty soon we were pinned down, but good. 17:24.040 --> 17:26.040 We were surrounded, cut off. 17:26.040 --> 17:28.040 The artillery observer got hit and I took over. 17:30.040 --> 17:32.040 Wildcat 6, this is Wildcat 2. 17:32.040 --> 17:33.040 Fire mission over. 17:33.040 --> 17:34.040 Fire mission point. 17:34.040 --> 17:37.040 Fox, Able, Easy Baker, Mike, Charlie, and point. 17:37.040 --> 17:39.040 King Sugar Charlie, Love Able, Howe. 17:39.040 --> 17:40.040 What's that? 17:40.040 --> 17:41.040 The 442? 17:41.040 --> 17:43.040 Oh, now you're talking. 17:43.040 --> 17:44.040 Hey, Colley, how do you like that? 17:44.040 --> 17:46.040 They're sending us the 442 to get us out of this. 17:46.040 --> 17:48.040 442, you mean Japs? 17:48.040 --> 17:49.040 They're a great outfit, Colley. 17:49.040 --> 17:52.040 Yeah, yeah, practically winning a war single-handed. 17:52.040 --> 17:53.040 Look, if we got to depend on Japs... 17:53.040 --> 17:55.040 They're not Japs. 17:55.040 --> 17:57.040 They're Nisei, Buddha heads. 17:57.040 --> 17:58.040 To me, they're Japs. 17:58.040 --> 18:00.040 I'm warning you, Colley, one more crack out of you. 18:01.040 --> 18:02.040 Hit it! 18:02.040 --> 18:05.040 We sweated it out for hours with no Buddha heads. 18:05.040 --> 18:07.040 I went out with Colley to see if we could make contact. 18:07.040 --> 18:11.040 We couldn't see a thing in that pine forest, but we made contact with something. 18:12.040 --> 18:14.040 Kraus, come on, let's get out of here. 18:14.040 --> 18:16.040 We haven't got a chance, let them have it. 18:16.040 --> 18:17.040 Pour it on, I'll take a look. 18:18.040 --> 18:19.040 The Japs! 18:19.040 --> 18:20.040 Hey, knock it off! 18:20.040 --> 18:21.040 Stop firing! 18:21.040 --> 18:23.040 What's the password? 18:23.040 --> 18:29.800 The password is the same as the one in the 18:29.800 --> 18:33.040 back of the car. 18:33.040 --> 18:34.040 Come on, come on, what is it? 18:34.040 --> 18:35.040 Wait, I remember. 18:35.040 --> 18:36.040 Dempsey Dole. 18:36.040 --> 18:37.040 That was it last week. 18:37.040 --> 18:40.040 Let's have that password or we'll fire. 18:40.040 --> 18:42.040 One, two, hunk of die! 18:42.040 --> 18:43.040 Come on now. 18:43.040 --> 18:45.040 He can give you the right password. 18:45.040 --> 18:47.040 Ever hear a Jerry try to pronounce a Japanese word? 18:47.040 --> 18:50.040 If that's not a Buddha head, I'll kill the boy. 18:50.040 --> 18:51.040 Look who's coming. 18:51.040 --> 18:54.040 A whole battalion's lost and we've got to find Grayson. 18:54.040 --> 18:55.040 Oh, man. 18:55.040 --> 18:58.040 Never thought I'd be so happy to see a bunch of Japs. 18:58.040 --> 19:00.040 Pardon me, I mean Japanese. 19:00.040 --> 19:02.040 I mean, I mean, Nisi. 19:02.040 --> 19:03.040 No, that ain't it. 19:03.040 --> 19:04.040 What is it, Grayson? 19:04.040 --> 19:05.040 Buddha heads. 19:05.040 --> 19:06.040 Okay, okay. 19:06.040 --> 19:07.040 We hit the ground. 19:07.040 --> 19:08.040 This time we were sure it was Krauts. 19:08.040 --> 19:13.040 Must be a hundred of them up on the hill. 19:13.040 --> 19:14.040 Yeah. 19:14.040 --> 19:15.040 Hey, what is it they call you? 19:15.040 --> 19:16.040 Buddha heads? 19:16.040 --> 19:17.040 That's right. 19:17.040 --> 19:19.040 Oh, Grayson sure is touchy about that. 19:19.040 --> 19:21.040 I thought he was going to slug me a while ago. 19:21.040 --> 19:22.040 Did you hear that, Sam? 19:22.040 --> 19:23.040 I sure did. 19:23.040 --> 19:26.040 Hey, Lieutenant, how far away is the rest of your outfit? 19:26.040 --> 19:27.040 Less than a mile. 19:27.040 --> 19:28.040 How far? 19:28.040 --> 19:29.040 We don't. 19:29.040 --> 19:30.040 Not with them Krauts on top of the hill. 19:30.040 --> 19:31.040 Shall we try to move through them, Lieutenant? 19:31.040 --> 19:32.040 Oh, wait a minute, Grayson. 19:32.040 --> 19:33.040 We're not going up that hill. 19:33.040 --> 19:35.040 They'll be shooting right down our throats. 19:35.040 --> 19:36.040 We've got almost the whole platoon. 19:36.040 --> 19:37.040 What do you say, Lieutenant? 19:37.040 --> 19:39.040 That's up to you, Sam. 19:39.040 --> 19:40.040 It's not my platoon anymore. 19:40.040 --> 19:41.040 You want a bet? 19:41.040 --> 19:42.040 Fix bayonets. 19:42.040 --> 19:45.040 Sturmischlein, up the hill. 19:45.040 --> 19:47.040 Hey, Tommy, tell me something. 19:47.040 --> 19:49.040 What does Bakatari mean? 19:49.040 --> 19:52.040 Well, freely translated. 19:52.040 --> 19:53.040 You're a heel. 19:53.040 --> 19:56.040 A stupid jerk and a heel. 19:56.040 --> 19:57.040 That was putting it mildly. 19:57.040 --> 19:58.040 Let's go. 19:58.040 --> 19:59.040 Go for broke! 19:59.040 --> 20:00.040 Go for broke! 20:00.040 --> 20:01.040 Go for broke! 20:01.040 --> 20:02.040 Go for broke! 20:02.040 --> 20:03.040 Go for broke! 20:03.040 --> 20:04.040 Go for broke! 20:04.040 --> 20:05.040 Go for broke! 20:05.040 --> 20:06.040 Go for broke! 20:06.040 --> 20:23.040 And that's the story of how I got over being a Bakatari. 20:23.040 --> 20:52.040 Our 20:52.040 --> 20:57.040 thanks to you, Van Johnson, for a brilliant recreation of an excerpt from your latest 20:57.040 --> 20:58.040 picture, Go for Broke. 20:58.040 --> 21:05.040 Also to Henry Nakamura and Lane Nakano of the original cast and the other fine supporting 21:05.040 --> 21:06.040 players. 21:06.040 --> 21:07.040 Oh, Van, darling, come here, darling. 21:07.040 --> 21:11.040 It's too bad we haven't the time, so we could have done more from this very important picture. 21:11.040 --> 21:14.040 Well, I can do more for you, Tallulah, if you like. 21:14.040 --> 21:17.040 I'm sure you could, darling. 21:17.040 --> 21:19.040 I mean from the picture. 21:19.040 --> 21:22.040 Yes, that's what I meant. 21:22.040 --> 21:25.040 These young ones are difficult, aren't they? 21:25.040 --> 21:27.040 Now look, Van, sweetie, I have an idea. 21:27.040 --> 21:28.040 Why don't we do this? 21:28.040 --> 21:30.040 Now, after the show, I'll have loads of time. 21:30.040 --> 21:33.040 Oh, good, I'll be glad to act out the whole picture for you. 21:33.040 --> 21:35.040 I'm sure you would, darling. 21:35.040 --> 21:39.040 Of course, we'll drop in somewhere and have a cocktail, and then we'll go some place nice 21:39.040 --> 21:40.040 for dinner. 21:40.040 --> 21:44.040 And then if you like, you can rent a car and sofa, and we'll take a long drive, and then 21:44.040 --> 21:48.040 we'll drop in at Stieros for the midnight show, and then we'll go dancing, and you'll 21:48.040 --> 21:51.040 pay the auction to play for us till early morning all my favorite records. 21:51.040 --> 21:53.040 Now, how does that sound, Van? 21:53.040 --> 21:56.040 You mean go for broke? 21:56.040 --> 21:58.040 But when will I act out the rest of the picture? 21:58.040 --> 22:01.040 He's so stupid, but so desirable. 22:01.040 --> 22:06.040 Now look, Van, darling, if the expense bothers you, why don't you skip all the other stuff 22:06.040 --> 22:07.040 and come up to my apartment, huh? 22:07.040 --> 22:08.040 Oh, that's good. 22:08.040 --> 22:10.040 Will I act up there? 22:10.040 --> 22:13.040 If you want to act up there. 22:13.040 --> 22:17.040 Tallulah, you don't sound as if you're really interested in my acting the rest of this 22:17.040 --> 22:18.040 picture for you tonight. 22:18.040 --> 22:21.040 Well, let's put it this way, darling. 22:21.040 --> 22:23.040 No, I'm not. 22:23.040 --> 22:26.040 Oh, well, I did have a sort of a tentative... 22:26.040 --> 22:27.040 I'll call you. 22:27.040 --> 22:28.040 Oh, good. 22:28.040 --> 22:29.040 You know my number, darling. 22:29.040 --> 22:30.040 Oh, sure. 22:30.040 --> 22:31.040 What is it? 22:31.040 --> 22:32.040 What is it? 22:32.040 --> 22:33.040 Oh, it's... 22:33.040 --> 22:34.040 Well, let me see. 22:34.040 --> 22:35.040 Crestview. 22:35.040 --> 22:36.040 Yes, that's it. 22:36.040 --> 22:37.040 Crestview. 22:37.040 --> 22:38.040 Crestview what? 22:38.040 --> 22:39.040 Go ahead. 22:39.040 --> 22:40.040 Seven. 22:40.040 --> 22:41.040 That's it. 22:41.040 --> 22:42.040 Crestview seven. 22:42.040 --> 22:43.040 Four. 22:43.040 --> 22:44.040 Four. 22:44.040 --> 22:45.040 Eight. 22:45.040 --> 22:46.040 Eight. 22:46.040 --> 22:47.040 Oh, yes, I did, didn't I? 22:47.040 --> 22:49.040 Well, I guess I'll be going. 22:49.040 --> 22:51.040 Well, you call me not later than seven o'clock. 22:51.040 --> 22:52.040 Seven o'clock. 22:52.040 --> 22:53.040 That's right. 22:53.040 --> 22:56.040 And if I don't hear from you by seven, I'll call you at five. 22:56.040 --> 22:57.040 Okay. 22:57.040 --> 22:58.040 Well, I guess I'll... 22:58.040 --> 22:59.040 I'm looking forward to this date, Van. 22:59.040 --> 23:02.040 It's been so long since we were out together. 23:02.040 --> 23:05.040 But we've never been out together. 23:05.040 --> 23:08.040 Doesn't that seem wrong to you, darling? 23:08.040 --> 23:13.040 You know, I don't usually ask men to take me to dinner. 23:13.040 --> 23:19.040 As a matter of fact, I have all sorts of invitations from some of the most handsome stars in Hollywood. 23:19.040 --> 23:22.040 But only yesterday Taylor called and wanted to take me out tonight. 23:22.040 --> 23:25.040 Oh, that Taylor Holmes is a nice old gentleman. 23:25.040 --> 23:28.040 I am talking about Robert Taylor. 23:28.040 --> 23:31.040 And this morning I had an invitation from Gregory. 23:31.040 --> 23:33.040 Oh, I know Mr. Radoff very well. 23:33.040 --> 23:34.040 Gregory Peck. 23:34.040 --> 23:38.040 And this afternoon I had a call from that handsome Mr. Grant. 23:38.040 --> 23:40.040 Go around with that. 23:40.040 --> 23:42.040 My favorite general. 23:42.040 --> 23:44.040 But not mine, Buster. 23:44.040 --> 23:46.040 Well, I guess I'll be going now. 23:46.040 --> 23:47.040 Oh, just a minute, Van. 23:47.040 --> 23:48.040 Just a minute, darling. 23:48.040 --> 23:51.040 You know, we are singing a short on our show this week. 23:51.040 --> 23:52.040 Bing couldn't make it. 23:52.040 --> 23:54.040 And weren't you once in musical comedy? 23:54.040 --> 23:58.040 Well, I was a song and dance man in a couple of Broadway shows. 23:58.040 --> 24:00.040 Well, then, darling, how about giving us a song, huh? 24:00.040 --> 24:02.040 I haven't been singing much since I've been in pictures. 24:02.040 --> 24:04.040 My voice might crack. 24:04.040 --> 24:06.040 Well, go for a croak, kid. 24:08.040 --> 24:09.040 Hiya, Bob. 24:09.040 --> 24:11.040 Van, are you going to sing in Crosby's place? 24:11.040 --> 24:13.040 Well, Tallulah was just saying... 24:13.040 --> 24:14.040 And why couldn't he? 24:14.040 --> 24:15.040 I guess he could. 24:15.040 --> 24:17.040 They're both about the same weight. 24:17.040 --> 24:19.040 Of course, he's got a better distributor than Hippie. 24:19.040 --> 24:21.040 Go ahead and... 24:21.040 --> 24:22.040 Go ahead and sing, Van. 24:22.040 --> 24:23.040 I know Crosby's listening. 24:23.040 --> 24:25.040 He's down at the Thunderbird Ranch in Palm Springs. 24:25.040 --> 24:27.040 This will make him get better in a hurry. 24:27.040 --> 24:30.040 Why don't you dedicate your song to that poor sick old man? 24:30.040 --> 24:33.040 Or should that be that rich sick old man? 24:33.040 --> 24:40.040 Are you listening, Lord? 24:40.040 --> 24:45.040 Every time it rains, it rains 24:45.040 --> 24:48.040 Pennies from heaven 24:48.040 --> 24:51.040 Hey, Bing, you remember introducing that one back in 1892? 24:51.040 --> 24:56.040 Don't you know each cloud contains 24:56.040 --> 24:58.040 Pennies from heaven 24:58.040 --> 25:01.040 Hey, Bing, you remember introducing that one back in 1892? 25:01.040 --> 25:06.040 Don't you know each cloud contains 25:06.040 --> 25:09.040 Pennies from heaven 25:09.040 --> 25:11.040 Pennies from heaven 25:11.040 --> 25:13.040 Get up out of bed, Bing. 25:13.040 --> 25:16.040 This Van Johnson's an old Gary Crosby. 25:16.040 --> 25:22.040 You'll find your fortune falling all over town 25:22.040 --> 25:24.040 Your fortune falling all over town? 25:24.040 --> 25:27.040 Bing, where's Everett? 25:27.040 --> 25:30.040 Is he sick too? 25:30.040 --> 25:36.040 Be sure that your umbrella is upside down 25:36.040 --> 25:42.040 And this kid's got hair too, Dad. 25:42.040 --> 25:48.040 Pray them for a barrel of sunshine and flowers 25:48.040 --> 25:52.040 You got the barrel, baggy boy. 25:52.040 --> 25:56.040 Cause if you want the things you love 25:56.040 --> 25:59.040 You must have showers 25:59.040 --> 26:00.040 Feel better, Dad? 26:00.040 --> 26:04.040 Those aren't spots in front of your eyes. Those are his freckles. 26:04.040 --> 26:09.040 And when you hear it thunder 26:09.040 --> 26:12.040 Don't run under a tree 26:12.040 --> 26:14.040 This boy's really gone, isn't he, Bing? 26:14.040 --> 26:17.040 I bet you wish he was. 26:17.040 --> 26:22.040 There'll be pennies from heaven for you 26:22.040 --> 26:26.040 And Gary and Philip and Dennis and Lindsay and Dixie and Bob and Larry and Everett 26:26.040 --> 26:34.040 And me 26:56.040 --> 27:02.040 And me 27:02.040 --> 27:08.040 And me 27:08.040 --> 27:16.040 And me 27:16.040 --> 27:22.040 And me 27:22.040 --> 27:32.040 And me 27:32.040 --> 27:42.040 And me 27:42.040 --> 27:52.040 And me 27:52.040 --> 28:02.040 And me 28:02.040 --> 28:12.040 And me 28:12.040 --> 28:22.040 And me 28:22.040 --> 28:32.040 And me 28:32.040 --> 28:38.040 And me 28:38.040 --> 28:46.040 There's song and laughter when smile is laid 28:46.040 --> 28:54.040 With this world's biggest amazing good day 28:54.040 --> 29:02.040 Let's go tomorrow so man is not sorrow 29:02.040 --> 29:14.040 Live on today and have good times 29:14.040 --> 29:18.040 You have been listening to Meredith Wilson and his big show, Chorus and Orchestra. 29:18.040 --> 29:22.040 We have a lot more show and we'll be back in just a moment after I say 29:22.040 --> 29:48.040 This is NBC, the national broadcasting company. 29:48.040 --> 30:03.040 The big show. 30:03.040 --> 30:09.040 This is the national broadcasting company Sunday Extravaganza with the most scintillating personalities in show business. 30:09.040 --> 30:15.040 The big show. The Sunday night feature of NBC's All-Star Festival is brought to you by RCA Victor, 30:15.040 --> 30:20.040 World leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television. 30:20.040 --> 30:24.040 By Chesterfield, the cigarette that has for you what every smoker wants, 30:24.040 --> 30:29.040 Mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste, the cigarette that brings you Bob Hope. 30:29.040 --> 30:35.040 And by the makers of Anisone for fast relief from the pain of headache, ureitis and uralgia. 30:35.040 --> 30:42.040 The big stars on this program are Ms. Ethel Barrymore, Joan Davis, Bob Hope, Van Johnson, Groucho Marx, 30:42.040 --> 30:46.040 Azio Pinza, Meredith Wilson and the big show orchestra and chorus. 30:46.040 --> 31:11.040 And every week your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable Tallulah Bankhead. 31:11.040 --> 31:16.040 Well darlings, this has been an exciting week. I'm talking about the Academy Awards. 31:16.040 --> 31:19.040 And what do you think? Now this really will be a surprise. 31:19.040 --> 31:25.040 We've set up a special wire direct to duty holiday who is in New York and she's going to talk to all of us. 31:25.040 --> 31:28.040 And you'll be able to listen in. Now this costs a lot of money, you know. 31:28.040 --> 31:32.040 Especially since they raised the telephone rates in New York to ten cents. 31:32.040 --> 31:35.040 But NBC spares no expense. 31:35.040 --> 31:41.040 Needless to say, we're especially thrilled, and we really are, about our own duty holiday. 31:41.040 --> 31:45.040 Being voted the best actress of the year for her performance in Born Yesterday. 31:45.040 --> 31:49.040 And we're doubly thrilled that José Ferrer, who appeared on our show first in his famous 31:49.040 --> 31:52.040 Cyrano de Bezuret won the Best Act Award. 31:52.040 --> 32:00.040 But the biggest thrill of all was when they voted my picture the best picture of the year. 32:00.040 --> 32:10.040 I mean, of course, all about me. 32:10.040 --> 32:14.040 Of course, I thought, you know who, had a pretty good chance. 32:14.040 --> 32:20.040 No, but honestly, and I'm speaking quite sincerely, I honestly consider her one of our finest actresses. 32:20.040 --> 32:27.040 And I'm not kidding, darlings. We gave a brilliant performance in that picture. 32:27.040 --> 32:32.040 And watch out for us next year. 32:32.040 --> 32:36.040 Is this the Academy Award dinner? One vote for Groucho Marx and a hamburger sandwich. 32:36.040 --> 32:45.040 Groucho! 32:45.040 --> 32:47.040 Well, if it isn't Groucho Marx. 32:47.040 --> 32:50.040 If it isn't Groucho Marx, why am I voting for him? 32:50.040 --> 32:53.040 Well, now pandemonium will reign. 32:53.040 --> 32:56.040 Oh, for Bob Hope, you reign pennies. For me, you reign pandemonium. 32:56.040 --> 32:59.040 Who wrote that joke, the head writer? 32:59.040 --> 33:03.040 The writer. 33:03.040 --> 33:06.040 Well, I'm glad you're laughing. 33:06.040 --> 33:10.040 Tell that writer to turn in his head and leave. 33:10.040 --> 33:13.040 Now, where were we? Oh, yes, Academy Award. Pass the envelope, please. 33:13.040 --> 33:14.040 Envelope. 33:14.040 --> 33:15.040 Kettle. 33:15.040 --> 33:16.040 Kettle. 33:16.040 --> 33:17.040 Steam. 33:17.040 --> 33:18.040 Steam. 33:18.040 --> 33:20.040 Hot water and plenty of it. A star is about to be born. 33:20.040 --> 33:22.040 Groucho, be serious. 33:22.040 --> 33:25.040 No, not Groucho, be serious. He didn't win it this year. 33:25.040 --> 33:30.040 This award is for the Best Supporting Actress of the Year, and that award goes to Miss Carlin Steel. 33:30.040 --> 33:34.040 I never heard of her. Why did she win Best Supporting Actress Award? 33:34.040 --> 33:38.040 I took her to the movies last night, and she supported me all the way down the balcony steps. 33:38.040 --> 33:40.040 What was the picture you saw? 33:40.040 --> 33:43.040 I don't know. We just spent the evening walking up and down the steps. 33:43.040 --> 33:46.040 How about your testimony? 33:46.040 --> 33:49.040 Did you go to the Academy Award dinner? 33:49.040 --> 33:53.040 No, I wasn't hungry. Besides, I don't believe in those Academy Awards. They're fixed. 33:53.040 --> 33:54.040 Fixed? 33:54.040 --> 33:58.040 Sure. Haven't you noticed that every year the award for Best Actress is won by a woman? 33:58.040 --> 34:01.040 That's chauvinism. 34:01.040 --> 34:05.040 Now Groucho, how can you say that? The awards are voted by male. 34:05.040 --> 34:07.040 That's male chauvinism. 34:07.040 --> 34:12.040 You know the old saying, there's no venism like chauvinism. 34:12.040 --> 34:18.040 There will be a short pause here while everybody looks up chauvinism in the dictionary. 34:18.040 --> 34:29.040 Look under S. You won't find chauvinism there, but you'll find a lot of interesting words. 34:29.040 --> 34:32.040 If you can't find your dictionary, look under D. 34:32.040 --> 34:35.040 If you can't find D, find your glasses. 34:35.040 --> 34:37.040 If you can't find your glasses, look on the bridge of your nose. 34:37.040 --> 34:41.040 Now you've got it. That's the honor bridge dictionary. 34:41.040 --> 34:44.040 Say, this is a pretty educational program. 34:44.040 --> 34:46.040 Now what was it you were saying? 34:46.040 --> 34:50.040 Groucho, I've been listening to you with thinly veiled contempt. 34:50.040 --> 34:53.040 Tallulah, they're not wearing those this year. 34:53.040 --> 35:00.040 But if you want to wear one, it's okay with me, Miss, Miss, no coaching. That's what Vick, you are seeing, no coaching. 35:00.040 --> 35:04.040 You are seeing. You're not the United States Cavalry, are you? 35:04.040 --> 35:05.040 Groucho, you're so... 35:05.040 --> 35:06.040 I'm walking over, no laughing. 35:06.040 --> 35:09.040 Hello, shut up, Groucho. 35:09.040 --> 35:12.040 You're so wound up I don't even think you know my name. 35:12.040 --> 35:14.040 Of course I do. It's right on the edge of my lips. 35:14.040 --> 35:15.040 I don't believe it. 35:15.040 --> 35:17.040 Kiss me and I'll prove it to you. 35:17.040 --> 35:18.040 Groucho, please. 35:18.040 --> 35:20.040 No, no, say pretty please. 35:20.040 --> 35:22.040 I never kiss a man with a mustache. 35:22.040 --> 35:24.040 Well, take it off. 35:24.040 --> 35:29.040 Groucho, cut it out. 35:29.040 --> 35:32.040 Cut it out yourself. My hand isn't steady with the razor. 35:32.040 --> 35:35.040 Oh, Groucho, darling, let's stop the subject. 35:35.040 --> 35:36.040 How about the kiss? 35:36.040 --> 35:39.040 We'll dispense with the subject with one small word, no. 35:39.040 --> 35:42.040 You win the Academy Award for the best short subject. 35:42.040 --> 35:44.040 Well, I'm going to change the subject. 35:44.040 --> 35:46.040 In that case, I'll cast the prodigal. 35:46.040 --> 35:50.040 I'm going to introduce... 35:50.040 --> 35:53.040 I'm going to introduce Edio Pinza. 35:53.040 --> 35:56.040 Now look, that's the best you've got. 35:56.040 --> 36:00.040 And here he is, ladies and gentlemen, star of Broadway, South Pacific, 36:00.040 --> 36:06.040 star of MGM's Mr. Imperium, fast and just seat belt ladies, 36:06.040 --> 36:17.040 Mr. Edio Pinza. 36:17.040 --> 36:18.040 Groucho. 36:18.040 --> 36:19.040 Hello, Talola. 36:19.040 --> 36:22.040 Hello, darling. I want you to meet Mr. Pinza. 36:22.040 --> 36:26.040 I'm sorry, I can't get up my seat belts fast enough. 36:26.040 --> 36:28.040 I have met Mr. Max on this program before. 36:28.040 --> 36:30.040 Oh, sure. Hi, Izzy. 36:30.040 --> 36:32.040 Hello, Georgios. 36:32.040 --> 36:35.040 Edio, what are you going to sing for us? 36:35.040 --> 36:37.040 I am going to sing an aria from the marriage of Figaro, 36:37.040 --> 36:39.040 non più and dry. 36:39.040 --> 36:42.040 Oh, another bibbidi-babbidi-boo. 36:42.040 --> 36:45.040 What is the name of that song again, Mr. Pinza? 36:45.040 --> 36:47.040 Non più and dry. 36:47.040 --> 36:51.040 Non, pew and dry? 36:51.040 --> 36:53.040 Non means no. 36:53.040 --> 36:57.040 Pew, well, everybody knows what that means. 36:57.040 --> 37:00.040 And dry, no smell and it's dry? 37:00.040 --> 37:02.040 Oh, Martini. 37:02.040 --> 37:06.040 Why didn't you say you were Nino Martini? 37:06.040 --> 37:08.040 Me, Martini? 37:08.040 --> 37:12.040 Okay, me, Manhattan. 37:12.040 --> 37:14.040 What do you have, Talola? 37:14.040 --> 37:16.040 Well, I ought to have my head examined 37:16.040 --> 37:18.040 for introducing you to Mr. Pinza. 37:18.040 --> 37:22.040 Sounds like a long drink, but if you want it, we'll make it. 37:22.040 --> 37:25.040 Miss Bankhead, we're all ready to play for Mr. Pinza. 37:25.040 --> 37:28.040 Well, if it isn't Meredith Wilson. 37:28.040 --> 37:35.040 Applause 37:35.040 --> 37:36.040 Oh, hello, Mr. Marks. 37:36.040 --> 37:38.040 Oh, Meredith, darling, will you get back on your stand 37:38.040 --> 37:41.040 and don't start any conversation with Groucho. 37:41.040 --> 37:44.040 Meredith, do you know the song Pinza's going to sing? 37:44.040 --> 37:47.040 Non, pew and dry? 37:47.040 --> 37:49.040 Why, certainly, Groucho. 37:49.040 --> 37:51.040 It's from the marriage of Figaro. 37:51.040 --> 37:53.040 Figaro's married? 37:53.040 --> 37:56.040 I'd better call up Hedda Hopper. 37:56.040 --> 37:59.040 Meredith, will you please go back to your orchestra? 37:59.040 --> 38:03.040 Well, what do you know? Figaro's married. 38:03.040 --> 38:07.040 I knew him when he had a barbershop with two chairs. 38:07.040 --> 38:09.040 Now he's got a wife and three kids. 38:09.040 --> 38:11.040 How's your wife, Meredith? 38:11.040 --> 38:12.040 Oh, she's fine, thank you. 38:12.040 --> 38:13.040 Where are you? 38:13.040 --> 38:14.040 I'm over here. 38:14.040 --> 38:15.040 I wanted to say that she's... 38:15.040 --> 38:17.040 How's your wife? How's your wife, Meredith? 38:17.040 --> 38:19.040 Well, she's fine, thank you. 38:19.040 --> 38:22.040 Don't thank me, I don't even know her. 38:22.040 --> 38:24.040 Well, it'll be a real pleasure to have you meet her. 38:24.040 --> 38:27.040 That's your opinion. 38:27.040 --> 38:32.040 Mr. Marx, I am not Martini. Nino Martini. 38:32.040 --> 38:35.040 Give us the whole name, is he? 38:35.040 --> 38:37.040 Nino! 38:37.040 --> 38:45.040 You turn out to be a tall chicko. 38:45.040 --> 38:47.040 Now, why don't you say your name, is? 38:47.040 --> 38:49.040 I am not Nino Martini. 38:49.040 --> 38:51.040 That's your opinion. 38:51.040 --> 38:53.040 Now, Groucho, we're standing here wasting time. 38:53.040 --> 38:56.040 That's everybody's opinion. 38:56.040 --> 38:57.040 You're so right, darling. 38:57.040 --> 38:59.040 And now, if you will kindly step aside, 38:59.040 --> 39:02.040 I would like to present Mr. Ed Geopenza singing an aria 39:02.040 --> 39:05.040 from the marriage of Figaro, non-pure, undry, 39:05.040 --> 39:07.040 which Figaro sings before he gets married, 39:07.040 --> 39:09.040 and which roughly translated means, 39:09.040 --> 39:12.040 now my days of going out with other girls are over. 39:12.040 --> 39:16.040 Oh, I know that song, bye-bye Blackboard. 39:16.040 --> 39:20.040 Meredith, darling, music if you please. 39:20.040 --> 39:26.040 Don't you dare make a love-hate relationship 39:26.040 --> 39:30.040 by walking around day and night 39:30.040 --> 39:34.040 with your skin covered in love 39:34.040 --> 39:38.040 and your love-hate relationship 39:38.040 --> 39:41.040 with your skin covered in love 39:41.040 --> 39:45.040 and your love-hate relationship 39:45.040 --> 39:50.040 with your skin covered in love 39:50.040 --> 39:55.040 and your love-hate relationship 39:55.040 --> 40:00.040 with your skin covered in love 40:00.040 --> 40:05.040 and your love-hate relationship 40:05.040 --> 40:10.040 with your skin covered in love 40:10.040 --> 40:15.040 and your love-hate relationship 40:15.040 --> 40:20.040 with your skin covered in love 40:20.040 --> 40:25.040 and your love-hate relationship 40:25.040 --> 40:30.040 with your skin covered in love 40:30.040 --> 40:35.040 and your love-hate relationship 40:35.040 --> 40:40.040 with your skin covered in love 40:40.040 --> 40:45.040 and your love-hate relationship 40:45.040 --> 40:50.040 with your skin covered in love 40:50.040 --> 40:55.040 and your love-hate relationship 40:55.040 --> 41:00.040 with your skin covered in love 41:00.040 --> 41:05.040 and your love-hate relationship 41:05.040 --> 41:10.040 with your skin covered in love 41:10.040 --> 41:15.040 and your love-hate relationship 41:15.040 --> 41:20.040 with your skin covered in love 41:20.040 --> 41:25.040 and your love-hate relationship 41:25.040 --> 41:30.040 with your skin covered in love 41:30.040 --> 41:35.040 and your love-hate relationship 41:35.040 --> 41:40.040 with your skin covered in love 41:40.040 --> 41:45.040 and your love-hate relationship 41:45.040 --> 41:50.040 with your skin covered in love 41:50.040 --> 41:55.040 and your love-hate relationship 41:55.040 --> 42:00.040 with your skin covered in love 42:00.040 --> 42:05.040 and your love-hate relationship 42:05.040 --> 42:10.040 with your skin covered in love 42:10.040 --> 42:15.040 with your skin covered in love 42:15.040 --> 42:20.040 and your love-hate relationship 42:20.040 --> 42:25.040 with your skin covered in love 42:25.040 --> 42:30.040 and your love-hate relationship 42:30.040 --> 42:35.040 with your skin covered in love 42:35.040 --> 42:40.040 and your love-hate relationship 42:40.040 --> 42:45.040 with your skin covered in love 42:45.040 --> 42:50.040 with your skin covered in love 42:50.040 --> 42:55.040 with your skin covered in love 42:55.040 --> 42:57.040 Here's a word from RCA Victor. 42:57.040 --> 43:00.040 Why do more people choose RCA Victor television 43:00.040 --> 43:02.040 than any other make? 43:02.040 --> 43:05.040 The reason can be summed up in just one word. 43:05.040 --> 43:08.040 Quality. Million-proof quality, 43:08.040 --> 43:11.040 proven in over two million homes. 43:11.040 --> 43:14.040 RCA Victor television is America's favorite television, 43:14.040 --> 43:16.040 because feature for feature, 43:16.040 --> 43:18.040 it's America's finest television. 43:18.040 --> 43:20.040 With RCA Victor, for example, 43:20.040 --> 43:23.040 you enjoy clear, bright, steady pictures 43:23.040 --> 43:25.040 that are locked in place by RCA Victor's 43:25.040 --> 43:29.040 exclusive eye-witness picture synchronizer. 43:29.040 --> 43:32.040 You choose your set from 14 separate models, 43:32.040 --> 43:35.040 every one a masterpiece of superb engineering 43:35.040 --> 43:38.040 and quality craftsmanship. 43:38.040 --> 43:39.040 Next chance you get, 43:39.040 --> 43:41.040 step into your RCA Victor dealers 43:41.040 --> 43:44.040 and look over the very finest television in America today. 43:44.040 --> 43:47.040 And same time, add these two great 43:47.040 --> 43:49.040 RCA Victor Red Seal performances 43:49.040 --> 43:51.040 to your record collection. 43:51.040 --> 43:54.040 September song, sung by Ezio Pinza, 43:54.040 --> 43:57.040 and the album of selections from Gershwin's Porgy and Bess 43:57.040 --> 44:00.040 with Reza Stevens and Robert Merrill. 44:00.040 --> 44:16.040 There's a lovely poem by John Masefield, 44:16.040 --> 44:17.040 The West Wind. 44:17.040 --> 44:19.040 I have been privileged to have heard it read 44:19.040 --> 44:22.040 by the most thrilling voice in the world, 44:22.040 --> 44:24.040 the voice of the First Lady of the theater, 44:24.040 --> 44:35.040 Miss Ethel Barrymore. 44:35.040 --> 44:36.040 And if that isn't enough, 44:36.040 --> 44:38.040 the musical background you will hear 44:38.040 --> 44:41.040 was composed by another member of this royal family, 44:41.040 --> 44:43.040 Mr. Lionel Barrymore. 44:43.040 --> 44:45.040 It's titled Andante, 44:45.040 --> 44:47.040 and Meredith Wilson's orchestra will play it. 44:47.040 --> 44:49.040 Ladies and gentlemen, 44:49.040 --> 44:51.040 it is now my distinguished honor 44:51.040 --> 44:55.040 to present to you Miss Ethel Barrymore. 45:21.040 --> 45:26.040 It's a warm wind, the West Wind, 45:26.040 --> 45:28.040 full of birds' cries. 45:28.040 --> 45:30.040 I never hear the West Wind, 45:30.040 --> 45:32.040 but tears are in my eyes. 45:32.040 --> 45:35.040 For it comes from the Westlands, 45:35.040 --> 45:37.040 the old brown hills, 45:37.040 --> 45:39.040 and April's in the West Wind, 45:39.040 --> 45:41.040 and Daffodils. 45:41.040 --> 45:44.040 It's a fine land, the Westland, 45:44.040 --> 45:46.040 for hearts as tired as mine. 45:46.040 --> 45:49.040 Apple orchards blossom there, 45:49.040 --> 45:51.040 and the air is like wine. 45:51.040 --> 45:54.040 There's a cool green grass there 45:54.040 --> 45:56.040 where men may lie at rest, 45:56.040 --> 45:59.040 and the thrushes are in song there, 45:59.040 --> 46:01.040 fluting from the nest. 46:01.040 --> 46:03.040 Will you not come home, brother? 46:03.040 --> 46:06.040 You've been long away. 46:06.040 --> 46:09.040 It's April and blossom time, 46:09.040 --> 46:11.040 and white is the spray, 46:11.040 --> 46:13.040 and bright is the sun, brother, 46:13.040 --> 46:15.040 and warm is the rain. 46:15.040 --> 46:18.040 Will you not come home, brother? 46:18.040 --> 46:20.040 Home to us again. 46:20.040 --> 46:23.040 The young corn is green, brother, 46:23.040 --> 46:25.040 where the rabbits run. 46:25.040 --> 46:28.040 It's blue sky and white clouds, 46:28.040 --> 46:30.040 and warm rain and sun. 46:30.040 --> 46:33.040 It's song to a man's soul, brother, 46:33.040 --> 46:36.040 fire to a man's brain, 46:36.040 --> 46:38.040 to hear the wild bees, 46:38.040 --> 46:41.040 and see the merry spring again. 46:41.040 --> 46:44.040 Locks are seen in the West, brother, 46:44.040 --> 46:46.040 above the green wheat. 46:46.040 --> 46:49.040 So will you not come home, brother, 46:49.040 --> 46:52.040 and rest your tired feet? 46:52.040 --> 46:55.040 I have a balm for bruised hearts, brother, 46:55.040 --> 46:58.040 sleep for aching eyes, 46:58.040 --> 47:00.040 says the warm wind, 47:00.040 --> 47:02.040 the West wind, 47:02.040 --> 47:05.040 full of birds' cries. 47:05.040 --> 47:07.040 It's the white road westward 47:07.040 --> 47:09.040 is the road I must tread, 47:09.040 --> 47:11.040 to the green grass, 47:11.040 --> 47:13.040 the cool grass, 47:13.040 --> 47:16.040 and rest for heart and head, 47:16.040 --> 47:19.040 to the violets and the brown brooks 47:19.040 --> 47:21.040 and the thrushes song 47:21.040 --> 47:23.040 in the fine land, 47:23.040 --> 47:26.040 the West land, 47:26.040 --> 47:48.040 the land where I belong. 47:56.040 --> 48:08.040 Music 48:08.040 --> 48:26.040 Applause 48:26.040 --> 48:33.040 Bravo, bravo! 48:33.040 --> 48:37.040 Ethel, darling, I'm at a loss for words. 48:37.040 --> 48:42.040 I've been wondering when you'd run out. 48:42.040 --> 48:44.040 And for goodness sake, Tallulah, 48:44.040 --> 48:46.040 pull up your stockings. 48:46.040 --> 48:48.040 Oh, Ethel, please. 48:48.040 --> 48:49.040 Don't talk like that. 48:49.040 --> 48:50.040 I'm grown up now. 48:50.040 --> 48:52.040 I'm not the 14-year-old child you knew 48:52.040 --> 48:54.040 when I first came to Broadway. 48:54.040 --> 48:55.040 I always remember you 48:55.040 --> 48:57.040 as that 14-year-old child. 48:57.040 --> 49:00.040 No other living actress can make that statement. 49:00.040 --> 49:07.040 Laughter 49:07.040 --> 49:09.040 Now, Ethel, darling, 49:09.040 --> 49:12.040 I'm trying to maintain some dignity here. 49:12.040 --> 49:14.040 After all, I am in charge 49:14.040 --> 49:16.040 of the biggest show on radio. 49:16.040 --> 49:18.040 This mishmash is the greatest show on radio. 49:18.040 --> 49:20.040 Laughter 49:20.040 --> 49:22.040 Well, it's the only half an hour, 49:22.040 --> 49:23.040 hour and a half, I mean. 49:23.040 --> 49:24.040 Excuse me, Bing. 49:24.040 --> 49:26.040 Hour and a half program on the air 49:26.040 --> 49:28.040 every Sunday I appear on this show 49:28.040 --> 49:30.040 an hour and 30 minutes from start to finish. 49:30.040 --> 49:32.040 You've changed, Tallulah. 49:32.040 --> 49:34.040 I never knew you knew to finish anything 49:34.040 --> 49:35.040 in an hour and 30 minutes, 49:35.040 --> 49:37.040 unless you're partially a man or two. 49:37.040 --> 49:40.040 Laughter 49:40.040 --> 49:42.040 What exactly do you do here, 49:42.040 --> 49:44.040 aside from smirking at your friends in the audience 49:44.040 --> 49:46.040 and violating every cardinal principle 49:46.040 --> 49:47.040 of theater department? 49:47.040 --> 49:49.040 Well, Ethel, this is not the theater 49:49.040 --> 49:50.040 you brought me up in, darling. 49:50.040 --> 49:52.040 There is no barrier here between the audience 49:52.040 --> 49:53.040 and the performers, you see. 49:53.040 --> 49:55.040 Oh, you've always lived dangerously. 49:55.040 --> 49:57.040 Laughter 49:57.040 --> 49:59.040 And I have plenty to do here. 49:59.040 --> 50:00.040 Don't think this is an easy job, 50:00.040 --> 50:02.040 but the whole show rests on my shoulders. 50:02.040 --> 50:04.040 I introduce the guests, I chat with them, 50:04.040 --> 50:07.040 I do dramatic acting, I announce the orchestra numbers, 50:07.040 --> 50:08.040 I play comedy scenes with the comedians, 50:08.040 --> 50:10.040 I sing, I laugh, I cry, 50:10.040 --> 50:12.040 whatever the script calls for. 50:12.040 --> 50:13.040 What else is there? 50:13.040 --> 50:15.040 That's all there is. 50:15.040 --> 50:18.040 Laughter 50:18.040 --> 50:20.040 I'm a lousy reading of that line. 50:20.040 --> 50:27.040 Laughter 50:27.040 --> 50:31.040 But I must say, you have plenty of energy to the line. 50:31.040 --> 50:33.040 Well, darling, it's not as if I had a show to do every day. 50:33.040 --> 50:34.040 It's only once a week. 50:34.040 --> 50:36.040 But getting these performers to come here 50:36.040 --> 50:39.040 are going to their homes, pleading with each of them. 50:39.040 --> 50:40.040 Laughter 50:40.040 --> 50:43.040 Oh, oh, I don't do that with all of them, Ethel, darling. 50:43.040 --> 50:45.040 You mean you only came to my home 50:45.040 --> 50:47.040 and threw that hysterical fit, 50:47.040 --> 50:48.040 beating your breast, 50:48.040 --> 50:50.040 crawling about the house on your knees, 50:50.040 --> 50:53.040 then threatened to cut your wrists with an electric razor? 50:53.040 --> 50:55.040 Laughter 50:55.040 --> 50:57.040 Pretty good performance, wasn't it, Ethel? 50:57.040 --> 50:59.040 Road company, Judith Anderson. 50:59.040 --> 51:01.040 Laughter 51:01.040 --> 51:04.040 Judith Anderson, I imitate no one. 51:04.040 --> 51:06.040 No one, darling? 51:06.040 --> 51:10.040 Well, after all, Ethel, you were the star, I realize, 51:10.040 --> 51:12.040 and I still do, in the theatre, 51:12.040 --> 51:14.040 and you took me on your wing, 51:14.040 --> 51:16.040 and after all, you are the great lady of the theatre, 51:16.040 --> 51:19.040 so I may have, well, I may have picked up a gesture or two. 51:19.040 --> 51:21.040 Oh, isn't she sweet? 51:21.040 --> 51:23.040 Laughter 51:23.040 --> 51:25.040 Applause 51:25.040 --> 51:27.040 Applause 51:27.040 --> 51:29.040 Applause 51:29.040 --> 51:33.040 Well, maybe then, well, a word or two. 51:33.040 --> 51:36.040 You weren't foring that I'm a copy of you, 51:36.040 --> 51:39.040 when as a matter of fact, I have been copied myself. 51:39.040 --> 51:41.040 I have been copied to the letter. 51:41.040 --> 51:43.040 That's what I'm talking about. 51:43.040 --> 51:45.040 Laughter 51:45.040 --> 51:47.040 Well, I'll give you this, little earth, 51:47.040 --> 51:49.040 you're a better invitation to me than she is. 51:49.040 --> 51:50.040 Well, thank you, darling. 51:50.040 --> 51:53.040 Coming from the original, who has spent so many years in the theatre. 51:53.040 --> 51:56.040 Oh, stop treating me as if I were the Queen Mother. 51:56.040 --> 51:58.040 Well, let's get on with this shindig. 51:58.040 --> 52:00.040 Laughter 52:00.040 --> 52:02.040 What do you want me to do now, sing? 52:02.040 --> 52:03.040 Sing? 52:03.040 --> 52:04.040 Why not? 52:04.040 --> 52:06.040 I plan on singing Panish from Heaven. 52:06.040 --> 52:08.040 Laughter 52:08.040 --> 52:11.040 If that stupid but desirable youth hadn't beaten me to it. 52:11.040 --> 52:13.040 Laughter 52:13.040 --> 52:16.040 Oh, Ethel, I wish I'd known you wanted to sing. 52:16.040 --> 52:18.040 I would have saved it for you. 52:18.040 --> 52:22.040 I was just so glad and happy to have you grace our programme with your presence, 52:22.040 --> 52:25.040 even if you have been making those cryptic remarks about it. 52:25.040 --> 52:27.040 Well, I may be a little too harsh. 52:27.040 --> 52:29.040 I think you have a very fine show to do, Lois. 52:29.040 --> 52:32.040 I doubt it's smart, it's filled with talent of the highest order. 52:32.040 --> 52:34.040 I think it's the best show in radio. 52:34.040 --> 52:36.040 Oh, thank you, Ethel, darling. 52:36.040 --> 52:38.040 I'm so glad you feel that way. 52:38.040 --> 52:40.040 Would you like to come back again some week? 52:40.040 --> 52:41.040 I'd rather die. 52:41.040 --> 52:43.040 Laughter 52:43.040 --> 53:08.040 Applause 53:08.040 --> 53:13.040 And now Bob Hope wants to make a little money by plugging his sponsor's product. 53:13.040 --> 53:15.040 Money, this is a pleasure. 53:15.040 --> 53:18.040 I do this for nothing and the government is seeing to it that I do. 53:18.040 --> 53:21.040 Laughter 53:21.040 --> 53:25.040 Which brings me to the subject of my favourite cigarette, Chesterfield. 53:25.040 --> 53:28.040 Simplest way for me to put it across is like this. 53:28.040 --> 53:30.040 Before you smoke Chesterfields, you know they're milder. 53:30.040 --> 53:34.040 Smell an open pack and you'll find like 1,520 tobacco growers say 53:34.040 --> 53:37.040 the aroma from an unlighted Chesterfield is milder. 53:37.040 --> 53:40.040 And while you're smoking Chesterfields, you enjoy that mildness, 53:40.040 --> 53:42.040 that better taste and cooler smoke. 53:42.040 --> 53:46.040 And after smoking Chesterfield, there's no unpleasant aftertaste. 53:46.040 --> 53:49.040 That's what science and research discovered. 53:49.040 --> 53:52.040 Yes, the taste panel told us that of all the brands tested, 53:52.040 --> 53:56.040 Chesterfield is the only one which leaves no unpleasant aftertaste. 53:56.040 --> 53:58.040 So it all comes down to this. 53:58.040 --> 54:00.040 It's easy, it's simple, it's inexpensive. 54:00.040 --> 54:03.040 Just the price of a pack of Chesterfields to prove 54:03.040 --> 54:06.040 Chesterfield is the best cigarette for you. 54:06.040 --> 54:21.040 Well, darlings, wasn't that a lovely chat I have with Miss Ethel Barrymore. 54:21.040 --> 54:25.040 But now we must go on from the sublime to the ridiculous. 54:25.040 --> 54:27.040 Joan Davies. 54:27.040 --> 54:37.040 That's all there is, there isn't any more. 54:37.040 --> 54:40.040 What a lousy reading of that line. 54:40.040 --> 54:43.040 Now just a minute, Joan, I won't stand for that. 54:43.040 --> 54:46.040 I won't permit you to say a word about any Barrymore. 54:46.040 --> 54:48.040 They are the first family in the theater. 54:48.040 --> 54:50.040 Well, so was my family. 54:50.040 --> 54:52.040 They were the first family in the theater. 54:52.040 --> 54:54.040 They always got in there before the prices changed. 54:54.040 --> 55:00.040 Now, Joan, Joan, haven't you ever seen Miss Barrymore in the Corners, Green, 55:00.040 --> 55:05.040 at Classe, at Doll's House, School for Scandal, or as a Fee, a Portia, a Juliet. 55:05.040 --> 55:08.040 All those old wonderful classics. 55:08.040 --> 55:10.040 Have you ever seen her in them? 55:10.040 --> 55:13.040 No, I never see those old things. 55:13.040 --> 55:17.040 I haven't got a television set. 55:17.040 --> 55:20.040 Now, Joan, how stupid can you get? 55:20.040 --> 55:24.040 Why, they put a ceiling on that too? 55:24.040 --> 55:28.040 Joan, my dear woman, now listen, is there something special you want to do on the show? 55:28.040 --> 55:29.040 Yeah, I'm... 55:29.040 --> 55:30.040 Let's get right to it. 55:30.040 --> 55:33.040 Well, I'm rushing it as it is, aren't I? 55:33.040 --> 55:38.040 I just can't stay over on the page. 55:38.040 --> 55:43.040 It said turn over fast and I only... 55:43.040 --> 55:51.040 Ha ha ha ha! 55:51.040 --> 55:56.040 Yes, too little a Darling, I am going to read a poem. 55:56.040 --> 55:59.040 A poem? Joan, nobody follows Ethel Barrymore. 55:59.040 --> 56:03.040 No? Gee, I have that trouble too. 56:03.040 --> 56:04.040 And I'll just tell she... 56:04.040 --> 56:07.040 Poem indeed. I can't hear you, Joan, speak up. 56:07.040 --> 56:12.040 A poem indeed. You'll read a poem here over my dead body. 56:12.040 --> 56:14.040 Well, it's your body you ought to know. 56:14.040 --> 56:19.040 Laughter 56:19.040 --> 56:22.540 Joe, you're not going to start comparing your figure with mine. 56:22.540 --> 56:25.540 Why, I can compare figures with anybody in Hollywood. 56:25.540 --> 56:27.540 I got a closet full of them. 56:27.540 --> 56:31.540 Yeah, and right now you look as if you forgot to take out the hangers. 56:31.540 --> 56:37.040 Listen, Tallulah, if we were in a contest, my figure would be way out in front. 56:37.040 --> 56:38.540 And vice versa. 56:38.540 --> 56:40.540 Laughter 56:40.540 --> 56:42.540 It's going pretty far back for a joke. 56:42.540 --> 56:45.540 Laughter 56:45.540 --> 56:47.540 Well, you started it, sister. 56:47.540 --> 56:52.040 And I did want to have some sort of dignity on this show with Miss Ethel Barrymore here. 56:52.040 --> 56:56.540 Yes, and about Miss Barrymore, you introduced her to everybody on the show but me. 56:56.540 --> 57:01.040 Well, Joe, Miss Barrymore is a distinguished personality, the fifth. 57:01.040 --> 57:05.540 Well, I know how to behave. I can be dignified. Introduce me, please. 57:05.540 --> 57:08.040 All right, I'll hate myself in the morning. 57:08.040 --> 57:12.040 Ethel, Ethel darling, may I present Miss Joan Davis? 57:12.040 --> 57:13.540 Joan, this is Miss Barrymore. 57:13.540 --> 57:15.540 How do you do, Your Honor? 57:15.540 --> 57:18.540 Laughter 57:18.540 --> 57:20.040 You may rise. 57:20.040 --> 57:23.540 Laughter 57:23.540 --> 57:25.540 It's easy to say, give me time. 57:25.540 --> 57:27.540 Laughter 57:27.540 --> 57:29.540 What is your name again, child? 57:29.540 --> 57:32.540 The name is Joan. Joan Davis. Davis. 57:32.540 --> 57:34.540 She's an imitation of Lionel, isn't she? 57:34.540 --> 57:36.040 Laughter 57:36.040 --> 57:37.040 What else she do? 57:37.040 --> 57:41.040 Oh, Ethel Joan is quite talented. She's one of our most accomplished comedians. 57:41.040 --> 57:43.040 Really? She doesn't look like a comedian. 57:43.040 --> 57:45.040 She doesn't look like anything to me. 57:45.040 --> 57:46.040 Laughter 57:46.040 --> 57:49.040 Do girls mind if I lower my voice into this conversation? 57:49.040 --> 57:52.040 Laughter 57:52.040 --> 57:57.040 Applause 57:57.040 --> 57:59.040 Just exactly what is it you do, Miss Davis? 57:59.040 --> 58:06.540 Me? Well, oh, I can, I do, well, I also, that is, I... 58:06.540 --> 58:08.040 What was the question again? 58:08.040 --> 58:10.040 Laughter 58:10.040 --> 58:12.540 Joan, Miss Barrymore wanted to know what you do. 58:12.540 --> 58:16.040 Oh, trying to embarrass me in front of all these people. 58:16.040 --> 58:18.040 Well, do I ask her what she does? 58:18.040 --> 58:19.040 Laughter 58:19.040 --> 58:22.040 Joan, now tell Miss Barrymore what you do. 58:22.040 --> 58:25.040 Well, I just try to bring a little happiness to the people. 58:25.040 --> 58:28.040 In fact, I got a song here about happiness. 58:28.040 --> 58:29.540 Would you like to hear it? 58:29.540 --> 58:30.540 Not particularly. 58:30.540 --> 58:32.040 Laughter 58:32.040 --> 58:35.540 Ethel, you took the words right out of my mouth. 58:35.540 --> 58:37.040 Well, that's a sweat. 58:37.040 --> 58:39.040 Laughter 58:39.040 --> 58:46.040 Applause 58:46.040 --> 58:49.040 Alright, Joan, let's have your happiness song done. 58:49.040 --> 58:56.040 Okay, and I hope that this will be a big hit because assisting me in this calypso will be one of the most expensive quartets in show business. 58:56.040 --> 59:02.040 Ethel Pinza, Groucho Marx, Bob Hope, and Van Johnson. 59:02.040 --> 59:10.040 Laughter 59:10.040 --> 59:12.040 I'm getting hot now, boys. 59:12.040 --> 59:14.040 Laughter 59:14.040 --> 59:16.040 How do you like my rumba? 59:16.040 --> 59:18.040 Trouble is I can't get it out of second here. 59:18.040 --> 59:20.040 Laughter 59:20.040 --> 59:23.040 He sits underneath a banana tree 59:23.040 --> 59:26.040 And sings to the workers on the rancho 59:26.040 --> 59:29.040 He sings them a song of philosophy 59:29.040 --> 59:32.040 And this is what's coming out of Pancho 59:32.040 --> 59:36.040 Happiness, happiness 59:36.040 --> 59:39.040 Everybody's searching for happiness 59:39.040 --> 59:42.040 Round and round they all race 59:42.040 --> 59:45.040 And everybody's searching in a different place 59:45.040 --> 59:49.040 Happiness, happiness 59:49.040 --> 59:51.040 Happiness, happiness 59:51.040 --> 59:56.040 Laughter 59:56.040 --> 59:57.040 What a quartet. 59:57.040 --> 59:59.040 Laughter 59:59.040 --> 01:00:01.040 Sounds more like the sextet from Leeching Nut. 01:00:01.040 --> 01:00:07.040 Laughter 01:00:07.040 --> 01:00:10.040 A poor man, he would give his soul 01:00:10.040 --> 01:00:13.040 If only he had the rich man's gold 01:00:13.040 --> 01:00:16.040 And a rich man, he would give his wealth 01:00:16.040 --> 01:00:20.040 If only he had the poor man's health 01:00:20.040 --> 01:00:23.040 Happiness, happiness 01:00:23.040 --> 01:00:26.040 Everybody's searching for happiness 01:00:26.040 --> 01:00:29.040 Round and round they all race 01:00:29.040 --> 01:00:32.040 Everybody's searching in a different place 01:00:32.040 --> 01:00:36.040 Happiness, happiness 01:00:36.040 --> 01:00:38.040 Happiness, happiness 01:00:38.040 --> 01:00:39.040 Good. 01:00:39.040 --> 01:00:41.040 Laughter 01:00:41.040 --> 01:00:42.040 Thank you. 01:00:42.040 --> 01:00:43.040 No ad libbing. 01:00:43.040 --> 01:00:44.040 Good. 01:00:44.040 --> 01:00:48.040 Laughter 01:00:48.040 --> 01:00:51.040 Oh, the single man, he wants a wife 01:00:51.040 --> 01:00:54.040 So he can be happy all his life 01:00:54.040 --> 01:00:57.040 And the married man, he's happy 01:00:57.040 --> 01:01:01.040 But he wishes he'd kept his big mouth shut 01:01:01.040 --> 01:01:04.040 Happiness, happiness 01:01:04.040 --> 01:01:07.040 Everybody's searching for happiness 01:01:07.040 --> 01:01:10.040 Round and round they all race 01:01:10.040 --> 01:01:14.040 And everybody's searching in a different locality 01:01:14.040 --> 01:01:17.040 Happiness, happiness 01:01:17.040 --> 01:01:20.040 Happiness, happiness 01:01:20.040 --> 01:01:23.040 Laughter 01:01:23.040 --> 01:01:24.040 Say Jones. 01:01:24.040 --> 01:01:26.040 Si, senor. 01:01:26.040 --> 01:01:29.040 I want to tell you that's a very pretty dress you have on. 01:01:29.040 --> 01:01:30.040 Where do you get him? 01:01:30.040 --> 01:01:32.040 I buy him at Saks. 01:01:32.040 --> 01:01:34.040 That's why I look so Saks-y. 01:01:34.040 --> 01:01:37.040 Laughter 01:01:37.040 --> 01:01:41.040 Your friend, he buys a brand new car 01:01:41.040 --> 01:01:44.040 So you buy one with more horsepower 01:01:44.040 --> 01:01:47.040 Now your friend, he's mad at what you do 01:01:47.040 --> 01:01:50.040 He can't kill the people as quick as you 01:01:50.040 --> 01:01:53.040 Happiness, happiness 01:01:53.040 --> 01:01:56.040 Everybody's searching for happiness 01:01:56.040 --> 01:01:59.040 Round and round they all race 01:01:59.040 --> 01:02:03.040 And everybody's searching in a different locality 01:02:03.040 --> 01:02:06.040 Happiness, happiness 01:02:06.040 --> 01:02:09.040 Happiness, hop, hoppiness 01:02:09.040 --> 01:02:12.040 Happiness, hop, hop, hoppiness 01:02:12.040 --> 01:02:15.040 Hoppiness, ha, hoppiness 01:02:15.040 --> 01:02:18.040 That a boy happy, oh boy. 01:02:18.040 --> 01:02:20.040 Laughter 01:02:20.040 --> 01:02:27.040 Everybody's searching for happiness 01:02:27.040 --> 01:02:45.040 Applause 01:02:45.040 --> 01:02:49.040 No matter what you now take for headache relief, we urge you to try Anisyn 01:02:49.040 --> 01:02:54.040 for the incredibly fast relief these tablets bring the next time you're suffering from a headache. 01:02:54.040 --> 01:02:58.040 Now the reason Anisyn is so wonderfully fast acting and effective is this. 01:02:58.040 --> 01:03:00.040 Anisyn is like a doctor's prescription. 01:03:00.040 --> 01:03:09.040 That is, Anisyn contains not just one, but a combination of medically proven active ingredients in easy to take tablet form. 01:03:09.040 --> 01:03:14.040 Thousands of people have received envelopes containing Anisyn tablets from their own dentist or physician. 01:03:14.040 --> 01:03:21.040 And in this way discovered the incredibly fast relief Anisyn brings from pains of headache, ureitis, or uralgia. 01:03:21.040 --> 01:03:26.040 So the next time a headache strikes, take Anisyn for this wonderfully fast relief. 01:03:26.040 --> 01:03:30.040 Anisyn, A-N-A-C-I-N 01:03:30.040 --> 01:03:34.040 Anisyn at any drug counter in handy boxes of 12 and 30. 01:03:34.040 --> 01:03:38.040 Economical family size bottles of 50 and 100. 01:03:38.040 --> 01:03:50.040 Music 01:03:50.040 --> 01:03:53.040 Well darlings, we have a lot more show for you. 01:03:53.040 --> 01:03:58.040 Bob Hope is due to come back in a moment with a few thousand world chosen jokes. 01:03:58.040 --> 01:04:00.040 Borrowed especially for this occasion. 01:04:00.040 --> 01:04:04.040 And I'm still waiting for that phone call I put to the Julia Holiday in New York 01:04:04.040 --> 01:04:07.040 to say nothing of all the other distinguished members of this week's big show. 01:04:07.040 --> 01:04:10.040 But before that, Jimmy Rollington wants to say... 01:04:10.040 --> 01:04:15.040 This portion of the program was brought to you by RCA Victor, world leader in radio, 01:04:15.040 --> 01:04:18.040 first in recorded music, first in television. 01:04:18.040 --> 01:04:21.040 By Chesterfield, the cigarette that has for you what every smoker wants, 01:04:21.040 --> 01:04:25.040 mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste, the best cigarette for you to smoke, 01:04:25.040 --> 01:04:30.040 and by the makers of Anisyn for fast relief from the pain of headache, ureitis, and uralgia. 01:04:30.040 --> 01:04:32.040 And now to Lilla, if you'll ring your chimes. 01:04:32.040 --> 01:04:33.040 Thank you, Jimmy. 01:04:33.040 --> 01:04:37.040 This, darlings, is NBC, the national broadcasting company. 01:04:37.040 --> 01:05:04.040 Thank you. 01:05:08.040 --> 01:05:12.040 This is the big show, and Tallulah Bankhead is about to introduce another guest. 01:05:12.040 --> 01:05:13.040 Yes. 01:05:13.040 --> 01:05:18.040 It is not my pleasant chore to call upon... 01:05:18.040 --> 01:05:20.040 It says not here, but I'm sure it must be now. 01:05:20.040 --> 01:05:22.040 It is now my pleasant chore... 01:05:22.040 --> 01:05:27.040 It's not I have some difficult chore, but the knot in the note... 01:05:27.040 --> 01:05:33.040 To call upon a young man who goes to New York next Sunday night at the Paramount Theatre. 01:05:33.040 --> 01:05:38.040 He will be the master of ceremonies of the Damon Runyon Memorial Fund Benefit Show 01:05:38.040 --> 01:05:40.040 with a host of great stars. 01:05:40.040 --> 01:05:43.040 This young man could be none other than Bob. 01:05:43.040 --> 01:05:46.040 If he does well on the benefit, he may be again regularly employed. 01:05:46.040 --> 01:05:54.040 Hope! 01:05:54.040 --> 01:05:55.040 Oh, great. 01:05:55.040 --> 01:05:59.040 You introduce Ethel Barrymore as Miss Barrymore, but me as just plain old Bob Hope, huh? 01:05:59.040 --> 01:06:08.040 Oh, I'm sorry, Bob, darling. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Bob Hope. 01:06:08.040 --> 01:06:11.040 Thank you, Mr. Bankhead. 01:06:11.040 --> 01:06:15.040 Bob, when you play that benefit in New York, you'll be making a personal appearance with your picture, 01:06:15.040 --> 01:06:17.040 the Lemon Drop Kid, won't you? 01:06:17.040 --> 01:06:20.040 Confidentially, darling, how is the picture? 01:06:20.040 --> 01:06:23.040 Well, I don't know, Tallulah. Most of the critics like Lemon Drop Kid, 01:06:23.040 --> 01:06:25.040 especially the big love scene at the finish. 01:06:25.040 --> 01:06:32.040 One columnist said, Hope registered a motion like he was registering for the draft. 01:06:32.040 --> 01:06:35.040 The sneak preview I went to in Glendale was a great success. 01:06:35.040 --> 01:06:39.040 When I got up to leave, I was so proud, I felt as tall as Gary Cooper. 01:06:39.040 --> 01:06:41.040 And the lady next to me made me give her back her shoes. 01:06:41.040 --> 01:06:45.040 And I listened in the lobby to hear what the audience said on the way out. 01:06:45.040 --> 01:06:50.040 They all said the same thing, where can I buy a television set? 01:06:50.040 --> 01:06:53.040 And to publicize the picture, they've arranged to put me on the cover of Quick next week. 01:06:53.040 --> 01:07:02.040 That's the tiny magazine where they don't use a photographer, they use an African head shrinker. 01:07:02.040 --> 01:07:08.040 I had to stop reading Quick at breakfast time, I kept buttering it and eating it with my coffee. 01:07:08.040 --> 01:07:14.040 Those magazines kill me, especially those fan magazines always show those leading men flexing their muscles. 01:07:14.040 --> 01:07:16.040 Silly, my muscles flex, too. 01:07:16.040 --> 01:07:23.040 In fact, if I don't get my serotonin on time, they twitch. 01:07:23.040 --> 01:07:27.040 Alan Ladd shows his bare chest in the picture and gets a thousand proposals. 01:07:27.040 --> 01:07:33.040 I showed my chest in the picture once, I got two fan letters, some gophers, and a bottle of Lydia Pinkham's compound. 01:07:33.040 --> 01:07:36.040 But anyway, the heat is off in Hollywood now that the Academy Award is over. 01:07:36.040 --> 01:07:39.040 I went, I went to the Academy Award the other night. 01:07:39.040 --> 01:07:46.040 I go there every year for my annual insult. 01:07:46.040 --> 01:07:54.040 When they start handing out those Oscars, I feel like a private who wandered into the officers club. 01:07:54.040 --> 01:08:01.040 It's a nice dressy affair and the Oscars are made of what little bit of gold is left in Hollywood after taxes. 01:08:01.040 --> 01:08:06.040 And I don't know how anyone could make such a fuss about a gold Oscar, after all you can't take it with you. 01:08:06.040 --> 01:08:10.040 Anyway, that's what the detective at the door told me. 01:08:10.040 --> 01:08:13.040 The Lord knows I've got statues enough, my relatives. 01:08:13.040 --> 01:08:23.040 But you know, I work this way. 01:08:23.040 --> 01:08:31.040 Everybody was real excited. Bill Holden was biting his nails, Jimmy Stewart was biting his nails, Phil Harris was biting his cork, and I wouldn't say, 01:08:31.040 --> 01:08:35.040 I wouldn't say there were any disappointed actors there, but every time an actor asked the usher which way to the balcony, 01:08:35.040 --> 01:08:39.040 he said, you want to smoke or jump? 01:08:39.040 --> 01:08:48.040 All the movie folk were there. It was quite a sight, watching the stars driving down from Warners and Paramount and galloping down from Republic. 01:08:48.040 --> 01:08:50.040 These premieres here in Hollywood are really confusing. 01:08:50.040 --> 01:09:00.040 You can't tell whether those big searchlights in the sky are for an opening or whether they're just looking for a pedestrian who didn't come down. 01:09:00.040 --> 01:09:03.040 I didn't get out of my car right in front of the theater. 01:09:03.040 --> 01:09:08.040 The conductor told me no matter who I was, he only stopped at corners. 01:09:08.040 --> 01:09:12.040 But I love to go to those affairs. I really do. The audience is so swanky. 01:09:12.040 --> 01:09:21.040 And they leave their chewing gum under the seat. There's always a little flavor left in it. 01:09:21.040 --> 01:09:24.040 All the glamour girls were there. All the glamour girls wore their mink coats. 01:09:24.040 --> 01:09:34.040 Of course, a few of them came from rabbits, quite a few from skunks. And you should see the... 01:09:34.040 --> 01:09:39.040 Don't leave me or I'll be back driving your cab. 01:09:39.040 --> 01:09:51.040 Naturally, you should see the mink and ermine. One star created quite a sensation once you walked in wearing Adrian, personally. 01:09:51.040 --> 01:09:57.040 Everybody was a little nervous. One actor passed out. The only way they could revive him was by waving his fan mail in front of his face. 01:09:57.040 --> 01:10:03.040 But it was really exciting when it came to the Oscars. What happened to that? 01:10:03.040 --> 01:10:08.040 But it was really exciting when it came time to pass out the Oscars. I said, am I going to get one? And the guy cleared his throat. 01:10:08.040 --> 01:10:18.040 And I cleared my eye. I had a chance. 01:10:18.040 --> 01:10:29.040 I had a chance last year... Where am I? Oh yes, I had a chance last year to win the award for doing the most for the motion picture industry, but I refused to quit. 01:10:29.040 --> 01:10:33.040 But the way I figure, I haven't won an Oscar because I never play dramatic death scenes. 01:10:33.040 --> 01:10:38.040 Every time I get down on the floor over at Paramount, somebody shoves a scrub brush into my hand. 01:10:38.040 --> 01:10:43.040 Still haven't got a finish, have I? But there's a... 01:10:43.040 --> 01:10:53.040 But there's been a definite trend in pictures lately. They've been doing the life of famous show people, like the life of Cole Porter, the life of Blossom Sealy, and Crosby's autobiography, The Life of the Father. 01:10:53.040 --> 01:11:18.040 Monty Woolley plays Crosby as a voice. Thank you very much. 01:11:18.040 --> 01:11:29.040 Thank you very much, Bob. They can laugh at you all they want to, but I think you're funny. 01:11:29.040 --> 01:11:35.040 Now let me see, what was I about to... Oh yes, yes, yes, of course. Mr. Pinscher, Edjo, would you mind coming here a moment, darling? 01:11:35.040 --> 01:11:37.040 Yes, Tolola. 01:11:37.040 --> 01:11:46.040 Edjo, my sweet, you know what a devoted fan I am of yours. Nothing would thrill me more if you would do me a personal favor and sing a song just for me. 01:11:46.040 --> 01:11:48.040 I will be very happy to. 01:11:48.040 --> 01:11:50.040 Oh, Edjo, you what? 01:11:50.040 --> 01:11:52.040 Just for you, Tolola. 01:11:52.040 --> 01:11:54.040 Oh, Edjo. 01:11:54.040 --> 01:12:06.040 I will sing Andiamo from my latest picture, Mr. Imperium, soon to be released by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer in all major cities just for you, Tolola. 01:12:06.040 --> 01:12:11.040 Here's a guy who plugs his pictures while he's making love. Meredith, music if you please for Mr. Pinscher. 01:12:11.040 --> 01:12:21.040 Andiamo, andiamo, let's go, andiamo, let's go, andiamo! 01:12:21.040 --> 01:12:27.040 Andiamo, andiamo, my bombina, let's go, Andiamo, andiamo, my bombina, let's go, 01:12:27.040 --> 01:12:31.040 Andiamo, andiamo, my bombina, let's go, My caro mio, look around you, what a beautiful soul, 01:12:31.040 --> 01:12:41.040 So come with me, presto, caro nome, my love, The sun is high above. 01:12:41.040 --> 01:12:49.040 Andiamo, andiamo, for a glorious spring, How allegro, how ivace, how alive is the spring, 01:12:49.040 --> 01:12:57.040 And we are alive to each other, and so I sing fortissimo. 01:12:57.040 --> 01:13:07.040 Do you love me? Ah, sola sì, l'assido, e più lo mi, 01:13:07.040 --> 01:13:15.040 I'll be so bravissimo. 01:13:15.040 --> 01:13:25.040 Andiamo, andiamo, to a hilltop of pine, We'll have pizza, antipasto, and some very good wine, 01:13:25.040 --> 01:13:30.040 So come with me, presto, for time goes so fast, 01:13:30.040 --> 01:13:44.040 The bright duke, a perfect day, We're never made to last. 01:13:44.040 --> 01:13:50.040 Andiamo, andiamo, my bombina, let's go, Andiamo, andiamo, my bombina, let's go, 01:13:50.040 --> 01:13:55.040 My caro mio, look around you, what a beautiful soul, 01:13:55.040 --> 01:14:04.040 So come with me, presto, caro nome, my love, The sun is high above. 01:14:04.040 --> 01:14:13.040 Andiamo, andiamo, for a glorious spring, How allegro, how ivace, how alive is the spring, 01:14:13.040 --> 01:14:21.040 And we are alive to each other, and so I sing fortissimo. 01:14:21.040 --> 01:14:32.040 Do you love me? Ah, sola sì, l'assido, e più lo mi, 01:14:32.040 --> 01:14:40.040 I'll be so bravissimo. 01:14:40.040 --> 01:14:50.040 Andiamo, andiamo, to a hilltop of pine, We'll have pizza, antipasto, and some very good wine, 01:14:50.040 --> 01:14:55.040 So come with me, presto, for time goes so fast, 01:14:55.040 --> 01:15:07.040 The bright duke, a perfect day, We're never made to last. 01:15:07.040 --> 01:15:21.040 Andiamo, andiamo, andiamo, andiamo. 01:15:37.040 --> 01:15:40.040 Edio, darling, that was divine, simply divine. 01:15:40.040 --> 01:15:44.040 Well, darlings, I guess it's about time for that call to Judy to come through. 01:15:44.040 --> 01:15:47.040 I'll ask the operator. 01:15:47.040 --> 01:15:50.040 Hello, operator, on that call to Judy to holiday in New York, 01:15:50.040 --> 01:15:55.040 it's circle seven, A-3-0-1. We're ready to talk now. 01:15:55.040 --> 01:15:57.040 Now, everyone be quiet so we can hear what Judy has to say. 01:15:57.040 --> 01:16:02.040 Quiet, everybody. Yes, operator, hold on, yes, yes, hold on. 01:16:02.040 --> 01:16:08.040 Hey, Hope, what is it, Groucho? How many times you been on this big mouth show? 01:16:08.040 --> 01:16:10.040 Well, I'm a three-time loser, how about you? 01:16:10.040 --> 01:16:15.040 I'm a three-time loser, too. Once more and you get life. 01:16:15.040 --> 01:16:19.040 I could use a little. 01:16:19.040 --> 01:16:21.040 What do you think of the dames they always have on this show? 01:16:21.040 --> 01:16:30.040 As a rule, I'm not too particular, but this is ridiculous. 01:16:30.040 --> 01:16:33.040 When a guy's on a show, he likes to get dated with one of the girls. 01:16:33.040 --> 01:16:38.040 Well, you can't say these girls aren't dated. 01:16:38.040 --> 01:16:42.040 Well, I'm not feeding you straight lines. 01:16:42.040 --> 01:16:45.040 What am I going to do about getting a girl to go out with me after the show? 01:16:45.040 --> 01:16:50.040 Well, I don't know why you should have any trouble. You're attractive, intelligent, generous, witty, desirable. 01:16:50.040 --> 01:16:56.040 What are you doing after the show? 01:16:56.040 --> 01:17:01.040 I'm going to be busy looking for the writer who gave you that joke. 01:17:01.040 --> 01:17:04.040 Bob, you wouldn't dig him up just for that, would you? 01:17:04.040 --> 01:17:09.040 Operator, operator, what do you mean she doesn't answer? 01:17:09.040 --> 01:17:11.040 Are you sure you're calling Judy Holliday? 01:17:11.040 --> 01:17:17.040 Yes, Judy Holliday, the movie star, you know, born yesterday. 01:17:17.040 --> 01:17:20.040 No, I don't want to talk to her mother in the hospital. 01:17:20.040 --> 01:17:23.040 I'm talking about Judy Holliday, one of the Academy Awards. 01:17:23.040 --> 01:17:29.040 She's the hottest thing in pictures, sold out by every producer and picture company in the business, throwing the most fabulous towers at her feet. 01:17:29.040 --> 01:17:31.040 You keep on ringing that number, darling. I keep on ringing it. 01:17:31.040 --> 01:17:35.040 It's a candy store, but they'll call her. 01:17:35.040 --> 01:17:37.040 Yes, I'll hold on. 01:17:37.040 --> 01:17:41.040 Fine thing. Look at the dames they get on this show and they leave a doll like Judy Holliday in New York. 01:17:41.040 --> 01:17:44.040 I wonder if she'd go out with me by phone. 01:17:44.040 --> 01:17:47.040 Say, Groucho, what do you admire most in a girl? 01:17:47.040 --> 01:17:54.040 Well, second. 01:17:54.040 --> 01:17:56.040 Hiya, fellas, what's going on here? 01:17:56.040 --> 01:17:58.040 Keep moving, Van, we're busy. 01:17:58.040 --> 01:18:00.040 This is Man's Talk, beta. 01:18:00.040 --> 01:18:02.040 We're talking about finding us some girls. 01:18:02.040 --> 01:18:05.040 Well, what's the matter with them over there? Aren't they girls? 01:18:05.040 --> 01:18:09.040 If you have to ask, they're not. 01:18:09.040 --> 01:18:10.040 Are you finished with me, fellas? 01:18:10.040 --> 01:18:11.040 Yes. 01:18:11.040 --> 01:18:13.040 Did I read that straight line all right? 01:18:13.040 --> 01:18:14.040 Yes. 01:18:14.040 --> 01:18:19.040 Bye now. 01:18:19.040 --> 01:18:22.040 Hey, Duck. Duck, here comes Joan Davis. 01:18:22.040 --> 01:18:29.040 She does look like a duck, doesn't she? 01:18:29.040 --> 01:18:31.040 Oh, hiya, fellas, good to see you. 01:18:31.040 --> 01:18:34.040 Put me down, you fool. 01:18:34.040 --> 01:18:38.040 Well, which one of you fellas is going to break down and take me to dinner after the show? 01:18:38.040 --> 01:18:42.040 Well, Groucho is more broken down than I am. He'll take care of it. 01:18:42.040 --> 01:18:43.040 What, Grouch? 01:18:43.040 --> 01:18:44.040 He'll take care of it. 01:18:44.040 --> 01:18:45.040 He'll take care of it. 01:18:45.040 --> 01:18:46.040 Because? 01:18:46.040 --> 01:18:47.040 Now, don't fight over me, fellas. 01:18:47.040 --> 01:18:48.040 I was waiting for the laugh. 01:18:48.040 --> 01:18:50.040 Don't fight over me, fellas. It's enough here for both of you. 01:18:50.040 --> 01:18:54.040 Besides, if that's the way you're going to act, if that's the way you're going to act, 01:18:54.040 --> 01:18:58.040 I'm going to show you what I always do. I'll just go to to doing after the show. 01:18:58.040 --> 01:19:01.040 To doing after the show? Well, what's to doing after the show? 01:19:01.040 --> 01:19:12.040 Nothing, and that's a date. 01:19:12.040 --> 01:19:15.040 I'm going to get you all trapped by a corny joke. 01:19:15.040 --> 01:19:19.040 Now, you just wait here. I'll go put on a new face and no cracks. 01:19:19.040 --> 01:19:23.040 That's what you need, a face with no cracks. 01:19:23.040 --> 01:19:29.040 Hello, hello. Wait a minute. I'm getting Judy. Quiet, please, darlings. Everybody quiet. Hello, hello. 01:19:29.040 --> 01:19:32.040 Hello, this is Salula. Who's this? 01:19:32.040 --> 01:19:45.040 This is Judy Harve. That's who. 01:19:45.040 --> 01:19:50.040 Judy, darling, congratulations. We're so excited here about the Academy Award. 01:19:50.040 --> 01:19:54.040 Everybody in the studio are so thrilled, Judy. Oh, they're all so happy for you, darling. 01:19:54.040 --> 01:19:58.040 I've got them all here with me, Bob Hope, Groucho Marx, Edupinza Van Johnson. 01:19:58.040 --> 01:20:04.040 All those fellas there with you, and you're wasting your time calling me. 01:20:04.040 --> 01:20:09.040 Now, Judy, this is no time to start that. We're all so happy you won an Oscar. 01:20:09.040 --> 01:20:16.040 Don't you think it's time you won an Oscar? Or even a Charlie or a Henry or a George? 01:20:16.040 --> 01:20:20.040 Now, look, Judy, don't waste time talking about that. This is long distance. 01:20:20.040 --> 01:20:23.040 Oh, yeah, it's costing me money. I'd better hang up. 01:20:23.040 --> 01:20:26.040 No, darling, he's not talking to you. I'm the one who's calling. 01:20:26.040 --> 01:20:29.040 Yeah, I know, but I had to come down to the candy store to answer the phone, 01:20:29.040 --> 01:20:32.040 and all the kids come in, and they made a big party out of it. 01:20:32.040 --> 01:20:37.040 The tweets are me. Liquorice whips for everybody. 01:20:37.040 --> 01:20:41.040 Well, darling, you shouldn't mind that. After all, isn't it wonderful that you won the award? 01:20:41.040 --> 01:20:45.040 Oh, I should say, I'm the happiest girl in the world. 01:20:45.040 --> 01:20:49.040 Maybe not the world, but I'm the happiest girl in my neighborhood. 01:20:49.040 --> 01:20:55.040 I'm the first girl on my block to win an Academy Award. 01:20:55.040 --> 01:21:01.040 Judy, Judy, darling, everybody here wants to talk to you. Here's Ed, your pizza. 01:21:01.040 --> 01:21:02.040 Hello, Miss Holiday. 01:21:02.040 --> 01:21:03.040 How you do? 01:21:03.040 --> 01:21:05.040 My congratulations to you, Miss Holiday. 01:21:05.040 --> 01:21:10.040 Thank you. Thank you very much. Do you like Talulah? 01:21:10.040 --> 01:21:13.040 Oh, yes, very much. 01:21:13.040 --> 01:21:14.040 Are you married? 01:21:14.040 --> 01:21:16.040 Yes, I am. 01:21:16.040 --> 01:21:22.040 Let me talk to one of the other fellows. 01:21:22.040 --> 01:21:24.040 Hello. Hello, Judy. 01:21:24.040 --> 01:21:31.040 Which fellow are you? 01:21:31.040 --> 01:21:33.040 This is Talulah, darling. 01:21:33.040 --> 01:21:37.040 You're talking too low again, Talulah. 01:21:37.040 --> 01:21:39.040 Judy, here's Van Johnson. 01:21:39.040 --> 01:21:40.040 Hiya, Judy. 01:21:40.040 --> 01:21:41.040 Hiya, Joe. 01:21:41.040 --> 01:21:44.040 Judy, I was so happy to hear you won the award. Congratulations. 01:21:44.040 --> 01:21:47.040 Thank you very much. Do you like Talulah? 01:21:47.040 --> 01:21:49.040 Oh, I'm crazy about her. 01:21:49.040 --> 01:21:50.040 Are you married? 01:21:50.040 --> 01:21:51.040 Yep. 01:21:51.040 --> 01:21:55.040 Let me talk to another fellow. 01:21:55.040 --> 01:21:58.040 Judy, darling, now I want you to talk to Bob Hope. 01:21:58.040 --> 01:22:04.040 Hello, Judy, baby. This is Bob. I'm glad you won the Oscar, Hope, telling you to stay right in there and keep on punching, Judy. 01:22:04.040 --> 01:22:09.040 How you do? 01:22:09.040 --> 01:22:11.040 Do you like Talulah? 01:22:11.040 --> 01:22:12.040 Oh, sure. 01:22:12.040 --> 01:22:13.040 Are you married? 01:22:13.040 --> 01:22:15.040 Yes. 01:22:15.040 --> 01:22:16.040 Happily? 01:22:16.040 --> 01:22:17.040 Yes. 01:22:17.040 --> 01:22:24.040 Let me talk to one of the other fellows. 01:22:24.040 --> 01:22:27.040 And now, Judy, darling, hold on. Groucho Marx wants to talk to you. 01:22:27.040 --> 01:22:29.040 Hello, Judy. This is Groucho. Congratulations. 01:22:29.040 --> 01:22:32.040 Thank you very much. Hey, you like Talulah? 01:22:32.040 --> 01:22:34.040 Like a brother. 01:22:34.040 --> 01:22:38.040 Let me talk to one of the other fellows. 01:22:38.040 --> 01:22:42.040 There are no other fellows around. How about you and me going out on a date tonight? 01:22:42.040 --> 01:22:44.040 Tonight? I'm in New York. 01:22:44.040 --> 01:22:47.040 Well, you go to the Star Club, I'll go to the Brown Davy. 01:22:47.040 --> 01:22:50.040 Separate checks, of course. 01:22:50.040 --> 01:22:52.040 Judy, here's Joan Davis, darling. 01:22:52.040 --> 01:22:53.040 Hi, Judy. 01:22:53.040 --> 01:22:54.040 How you do? 01:22:54.040 --> 01:22:57.040 Oh, gee, kid, I'm sure happy you won that Academy Award. 01:22:57.040 --> 01:23:06.040 Thank you, Miss Davis. I'm sorry you lost. 01:23:06.040 --> 01:23:10.040 Oh, boy, have you got the wrong Davis. 01:23:10.040 --> 01:23:16.040 Excuse me. Wait a minute. Aren't you the Miss Davis who was interested in all about Eve? 01:23:16.040 --> 01:23:21.040 No. All Miss Davis cares about is all about Adam. 01:23:21.040 --> 01:23:27.040 And now, Judy, darling, Judy, I saved her for the last, yes, she is, Miss Ethel Barrymore. 01:23:27.040 --> 01:23:29.040 Hello, Judy, dear. 01:23:29.040 --> 01:23:33.040 Miss Barrymore, if I may step out of character for a moment, 01:23:33.040 --> 01:23:37.040 may I say that, of course, it was a thrill to win the Academy Award, 01:23:37.040 --> 01:23:42.040 but the extra thrill of having you accept my award for me was really more than I deserved. 01:23:42.040 --> 01:23:46.040 It's something I'll never forget, and you'll always have my eternal thanks. 01:23:46.040 --> 01:23:51.040 And that goes for your friend Tallulah, for being such a wonderful friend to me. 01:23:51.040 --> 01:23:53.040 That was a lovely speech, Judy. 01:23:53.040 --> 01:23:55.040 Thank you, Miss Barrymore. 01:23:55.040 --> 01:24:00.040 And may I hope, Miss Barrymore, that if everything turns out well for you and Tallulah, 01:24:00.040 --> 01:24:04.040 next year it'll be Mrs. Barrymore and Mrs. Banks. 01:24:04.040 --> 01:24:07.040 No. 01:24:07.040 --> 01:24:27.040 Music 01:24:27.040 --> 01:24:30.040 Well, darlings, that's our show from Hollywood. 01:24:30.040 --> 01:24:32.040 We're off for New York again tonight, 01:24:32.040 --> 01:24:36.040 and next week our stars will include Fred Allen, Vivian Blaine, Jimmy Durante, 01:24:36.040 --> 01:24:38.040 Portland Hoffer, Jane Morgan, Rudy Vallee, 01:24:38.040 --> 01:24:42.040 the cast from the exciting Broadway production Green Pastures, and others, 01:24:42.040 --> 01:24:46.040 and of course, our very own Meredith Wilson and the Big Show Oxford chorus. 01:24:46.040 --> 01:24:48.040 Until then. 01:24:48.040 --> 01:24:53.040 May the good Lord bless and keep you, 01:24:53.040 --> 01:24:57.040 by the near, far away. 01:24:57.040 --> 01:25:09.040 Judy, may you find that long-awaited golden day today. 01:25:09.040 --> 01:25:11.040 Bob? 01:25:11.040 --> 01:25:15.040 May your troubles all be small ones, 01:25:15.040 --> 01:25:19.040 and your fortune ten times ten. 01:25:19.040 --> 01:25:21.040 Joan? 01:25:21.040 --> 01:25:26.040 May the good Lord bless and keep you, 01:25:26.040 --> 01:25:31.040 till we meet again. 01:25:31.040 --> 01:25:33.040 Meredith? 01:25:33.040 --> 01:25:38.040 May you walk with sunlight shining, 01:25:38.040 --> 01:25:42.040 and a bluebird in every tree. 01:25:42.040 --> 01:25:43.040 Croucho? 01:25:43.040 --> 01:25:48.040 May you find that silver lining, 01:25:48.040 --> 01:25:52.040 back of every cloud you see. 01:25:52.040 --> 01:25:54.040 Van? 01:25:54.040 --> 01:25:59.040 May your dreams with sweet tomorrows, 01:25:59.040 --> 01:26:03.040 never mind what might have been. 01:26:03.040 --> 01:26:05.040 Miss Barrymore? 01:26:05.040 --> 01:26:10.040 May the good Lord bless and keep you, 01:26:10.040 --> 01:26:12.040 till we meet again. 01:26:12.040 --> 01:26:15.040 Ezio? 01:26:15.040 --> 01:26:22.040 May you long recall each rainbow, 01:26:22.040 --> 01:26:28.040 when you'll soon forget the rain. 01:26:28.040 --> 01:26:34.040 May the warm and tender memories, 01:26:34.040 --> 01:26:42.040 be the one that will remain. 01:26:42.040 --> 01:26:48.040 May you walk with sunlight shining, 01:26:48.040 --> 01:26:54.040 never mind what might have been. 01:26:54.040 --> 01:26:58.040 May the good Lord bless and keep you, 01:26:58.040 --> 01:27:05.040 until we meet again. 01:27:05.040 --> 01:27:14.040 May the good Lord bless and keep you, 01:27:14.040 --> 01:27:19.040 till we meet, 01:27:19.040 --> 01:27:37.040 till we meet again. 01:27:37.040 --> 01:27:39.040 Good night, darlings, 01:27:39.040 --> 01:27:42.040 and God speed to our armed forces all over the world 01:27:42.040 --> 01:27:44.040 who hear these broadcasts each week. 01:27:44.040 --> 01:28:09.040 Applause 01:28:09.040 --> 01:28:14.040 Listen to The Big Show next Sunday when it will come to you again from New York. 01:28:14.040 --> 01:28:17.040 And the guests will be Fred Allen, 01:28:17.040 --> 01:28:19.040 Vivian Blaine, Jimmy Durante, 01:28:19.040 --> 01:28:22.040 Portland Hoppa, Jane Morgan, 01:28:22.040 --> 01:28:25.040 Rudy Valli, the cast from Green Pastures, 01:28:25.040 --> 01:28:27.040 and others. 01:28:27.040 --> 01:28:30.040 Meredith Wilson and The Big Show Orchestra and Chorus, 01:28:30.040 --> 01:28:33.040 and of course, as always, your hostess, 01:28:33.040 --> 01:28:37.040 the glamorous, unpredictable Tallulah Bankhead. 01:28:37.040 --> 01:28:40.040 The Big Show is produced and directed by Dee Engelbach 01:28:40.040 --> 01:28:44.040 and written by Goodman Ace, Selma Diamond, George Foster, 01:28:44.040 --> 01:28:47.040 Mort Green, and Frank Wilson. 01:28:47.040 --> 01:28:49.040 This is Jimmy Wallington speaking. 01:28:49.040 --> 01:29:08.040 Music 01:29:08.040 --> 01:29:10.040 Enjoy Phil Harris and Alice Fay. 01:29:10.040 --> 01:29:13.040 Later in Theatre Guild on NBC. 01:29:13.040 --> 01:29:28.040 Applause