WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:04.400 You're about to be entertained by some of the biggest names in show business. 00:04.400 --> 00:09.000 For the next hour and thirty minutes, this program will present in person such bright stars as... 00:09.000 --> 00:10.000 Fred Allen 00:10.000 --> 00:11.000 Vivian Blaine 00:11.000 --> 00:13.000 Alonzo Bouzane 00:13.000 --> 00:14.000 Ozzie Davis 00:14.000 --> 00:15.000 Jimmy Durany 00:15.000 --> 00:16.000 Portland Harper 00:16.000 --> 00:17.000 William Marshall 00:17.000 --> 00:18.000 Jane Morgan 00:18.000 --> 00:19.000 Rudy Vallee 00:19.000 --> 00:20.000 Meredith Wilson 00:20.000 --> 00:35.000 And my name, darling, is Lulu Bankhead. 00:35.000 --> 00:39.000 The National Broadcasting Company presents The Big Show. 00:39.000 --> 00:49.000 The Big Show, ninety minutes with the most scintillating 00:49.000 --> 00:52.000 personalities in the entertainment world. 00:52.000 --> 00:58.000 Brought to you this Sunday and every Sunday at the same time as the Sunday feature of NBC's All-Star Festival. 00:58.000 --> 01:17.000 And here is your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable, Lulu Bankhead. 01:17.000 --> 01:22.000 Well, darling, we sure had a time for ourselves in Hollywood last week. 01:22.000 --> 01:23.000 Goss-ly. 01:23.000 --> 01:28.000 Oh, not that we didn't enjoy doing the show with all those wonderful people out there. 01:28.000 --> 01:31.000 But you've got to accustom yourself to so many different things. 01:31.000 --> 01:34.000 Now, take a little thing like the water, for instance. 01:34.000 --> 01:37.000 It felt different when I took my bath. 01:37.000 --> 01:41.000 And even tastes different, they tell me. 01:41.000 --> 01:46.000 Well, it was so good to get back to New York, I was walking on air. 01:46.000 --> 01:49.000 I got out of the plane before we landed. 01:49.000 --> 01:51.000 Well, I was so glad to get back that I... 01:51.000 --> 01:52.000 Excuse me, Tallulah. 01:52.000 --> 01:57.000 Yes, what is it, Rudy Valley? 01:57.000 --> 01:59.000 Tallulah, what time is this show over? 01:59.000 --> 02:00.000 Seven thirty, darling, why? 02:00.000 --> 02:01.000 Thank you. 02:01.000 --> 02:02.000 Excuse me, Tallulah. 02:02.000 --> 02:07.000 To the young lady in the eighth row, four seats from the aisle with a dark red nail polish. 02:07.000 --> 02:09.000 I've been watching you, my dear. 02:09.000 --> 02:11.000 May I suggest dinner, a movie, and a nightclub? 02:11.000 --> 02:13.000 Meet me at the stage door at seven thirty. 02:13.000 --> 02:14.000 Please be prompt. 02:14.000 --> 02:15.000 Rudy! 02:15.000 --> 02:20.000 This opera expires at seven thirty-five, April eighth. 02:20.000 --> 02:25.000 Employees of the National Broadcasting Company and their relatives are not eligible to enter this contest. 02:25.000 --> 02:26.000 Thank you, Tallulah. 02:26.000 --> 02:27.000 Now, just a moment, Rudy. 02:27.000 --> 02:29.000 This is getting ridiculous. 02:29.000 --> 02:35.000 Every week there's somebody on this program who starts making dates with everyone else on the show and completely overlooks me. 02:35.000 --> 02:38.000 After all, I am Tallulah Bankhead. 02:38.000 --> 02:44.000 Glamorous, exciting, and scintillating conversationist. 02:44.000 --> 02:47.000 And besides, I do the hiring on this show. 02:47.000 --> 02:48.000 Hmm. 02:48.000 --> 02:53.000 To whom it may concern in the eighth row, please consider our date as of this evening cancelled. 02:53.000 --> 02:54.000 I'm sorry. 02:54.000 --> 02:55.000 For you, of course. 02:55.000 --> 02:57.000 It would have been fun. 02:57.000 --> 02:59.000 This does not preclude a future engagement. 02:59.000 --> 03:02.000 Please send me your forwarding seat. 03:02.000 --> 03:03.000 Well, that's better. 03:03.000 --> 03:05.000 And don't forget we have a date after the show. 03:05.000 --> 03:06.000 I won't. 03:06.000 --> 03:07.000 And bring your checkbook. 03:07.000 --> 03:08.000 Now, where was I? 03:08.000 --> 03:09.000 Oh, yes. 03:09.000 --> 03:10.000 Oh, excuse me. 03:10.000 --> 03:11.000 Shall we? 03:11.000 --> 03:12.000 Yes, dear. 03:12.000 --> 03:22.000 To the lady in the balcony, eighth row, first two seats. 03:22.000 --> 03:26.000 Now, Jimmy, don't you start that. 03:26.000 --> 03:30.000 Oh, it's all right when Valley does it, but when I do it, comments. 03:30.000 --> 03:31.000 What's the matter? 03:31.000 --> 03:32.000 I'm as good as him. 03:32.000 --> 03:34.000 Darling, you mean as good as he. 03:34.000 --> 03:36.000 It's not as good as him. 03:36.000 --> 03:38.000 Grammatically, it's as good as he. 03:38.000 --> 03:39.000 Or better than he. 03:39.000 --> 03:40.000 And not him. 03:40.000 --> 03:41.000 He. 03:41.000 --> 03:44.000 Teacher, can I leave the room? 03:44.000 --> 03:49.000 Jimmy, darling, grammatically, that should say, should be, may I leave the room. 03:49.000 --> 03:50.000 Any child knows that. 03:50.000 --> 03:55.000 It's a little when a kid wants to leave the room, who's got time to think of grammar? 03:55.000 --> 03:58.000 Well, Jimmy, darling, I shouldn't be correcting your grammar. 03:58.000 --> 04:01.000 After all, you've done pretty well the way you are. 04:01.000 --> 04:03.000 I ain't ashamed of the way I talk. 04:03.000 --> 04:05.000 I got a pretty good education when I was a kid. 04:05.000 --> 04:08.000 Oh, you went to a little red schoolhouse? 04:08.000 --> 04:11.000 What's your language? 04:11.000 --> 04:14.000 If you don't think I got an education, ask me something. 04:14.000 --> 04:15.000 All right, now let me see. 04:15.000 --> 04:16.000 Let's start with the alphabet. 04:16.000 --> 04:18.000 Can you recite it, Jimmy? 04:18.000 --> 04:19.000 That's easy. 04:19.000 --> 04:27.000 N-B-C-V-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M. 04:27.000 --> 04:28.000 Very good, Jimmy. 04:28.000 --> 04:29.000 Wait a minute. 04:29.000 --> 04:30.000 Wait a minute. 04:30.000 --> 04:31.000 There's more. 04:31.000 --> 04:34.000 O-P-Q-R-S-T-V. 04:34.000 --> 04:35.000 TV? 04:35.000 --> 04:36.000 What happened to you? 04:36.000 --> 04:38.000 I'm in it. 04:38.000 --> 04:41.000 All right, Jimmy, what comes after TV? 04:41.000 --> 04:44.000 I don't know, but I'm ready for it. 04:44.000 --> 04:46.000 I know you will be, darling. 04:46.000 --> 04:48.000 Don't... didn't think I knew the alphabet. 04:48.000 --> 04:49.000 Ask me some more. 04:49.000 --> 04:51.000 All right, how are you with the arithmetic? 04:51.000 --> 04:53.000 I can take it or leave it. 04:53.000 --> 04:54.000 Well, now let's try you. 04:54.000 --> 04:56.000 How much is one in one? 04:56.000 --> 04:57.000 One what? 04:57.000 --> 04:58.000 Just one in one. 04:58.000 --> 04:59.000 It doesn't make any difference. 04:59.000 --> 05:02.000 It does with rabbits. 05:02.000 --> 05:04.000 Well, then how about this one, Jimmy? 05:04.000 --> 05:05.000 A little more difficult. 05:05.000 --> 05:08.000 Let's, uh, let us say butter is 20 cents a pound. 05:08.000 --> 05:10.000 How much butter can you buy for $3? 05:10.000 --> 05:12.000 I don't know that one. 05:12.000 --> 05:13.000 Why not? 05:13.000 --> 05:14.000 When butter was 20 cents a pound, 05:14.000 --> 05:16.000 I didn't have $3. 05:16.000 --> 05:19.000 Well, mathematics is not your forte. 05:19.000 --> 05:21.000 How do you do with languages, Jimmy? 05:21.000 --> 05:22.000 I studied them all. 05:22.000 --> 05:24.000 I studied French, German, Greek, Spanish. 05:24.000 --> 05:25.000 Oh? 05:25.000 --> 05:27.000 What was the toughest language for you? 05:27.000 --> 05:29.000 English. 05:29.000 --> 05:31.000 And you mastered all those other languages? 05:31.000 --> 05:33.000 Yeah, but it didn't do me any good. 05:33.000 --> 05:36.000 Hit it, Meredith. 05:36.000 --> 05:40.000 Say, now, the other day I was relaxing in my bubble bath, 05:40.000 --> 05:43.000 sparing the big ones with minnows. 05:43.000 --> 05:47.000 No sooner had I settled down and started to sing 05:47.000 --> 05:50.000 when the telephone began to ring. 05:50.000 --> 05:53.000 So calling for one of my butlers, I said, 05:53.000 --> 05:56.000 Minnows, I'll take that call on extension 12. 05:56.000 --> 05:58.000 And who do you think was calling? 05:58.000 --> 06:01.000 The president of Yale University, Mr. Harvard. 06:01.000 --> 06:04.000 He said, Mr. Durrani, we want to confer on you 06:04.000 --> 06:06.000 the highest degree this school can offer. 06:06.000 --> 06:08.000 And what do you think they made me? 06:08.000 --> 06:11.000 An honorary human being? 06:11.000 --> 06:14.000 But with all my education, my mind is not at best. 06:14.000 --> 06:18.000 There's something I've got to give off my chest. 06:18.000 --> 06:22.000 I won scholarships and lots of fame at Oxford and at Notre Dame. 06:22.000 --> 06:26.000 But when I walk into a restaurant, I can't read a menu. 06:26.000 --> 06:29.000 When I'm in society, I'm never upset. 06:29.000 --> 06:31.000 You see, I know my etiquette. 06:31.000 --> 06:34.000 Why, even when I drink tea, I extend my little finger. 06:34.000 --> 06:37.000 That indicates a left turn into the spaghetti. 06:37.000 --> 06:40.000 You know, this may come as a surprise to you, 06:40.000 --> 06:42.000 but I was a child prodigy. 06:42.000 --> 06:44.000 Yes, I was years ahead of myself. 06:44.000 --> 06:45.000 Let me explain. 06:45.000 --> 06:48.000 Most kids graduate from public school at the age of 12. 06:48.000 --> 06:50.000 I was only four. 06:50.000 --> 06:53.000 Most kids graduate from high school at the age of 18. 06:53.000 --> 06:55.000 I was only 12. 06:55.000 --> 06:58.000 Most kids graduate from college at the age of 24. 06:58.000 --> 07:00.000 I was only 15. 07:00.000 --> 07:05.000 And believe it or not, at the age of 32, I was only 27. 07:05.000 --> 07:08.000 Why, Einstein wouldn't make a move, 07:08.000 --> 07:10.000 a move that I wouldn't approve, 07:10.000 --> 07:12.000 but still I can't read a menu. 07:12.000 --> 07:17.000 You know, folks, the other night I invited Mrs. Van Hemingway out to dine. 07:17.000 --> 07:20.000 At the Rudy La Poo. 07:20.000 --> 07:25.000 I took one look at the classy French menu and it said Paul Roger 29. 07:25.000 --> 07:27.000 I was afraid to order it. 07:27.000 --> 07:29.000 But it was a used car. 07:29.000 --> 07:33.000 At that junket show, Mrs. Van Hemingway handed me the menu and said, 07:33.000 --> 07:35.000 would you mind ordering for me? 07:35.000 --> 07:37.000 I was trapped. 07:37.000 --> 07:39.000 The only thing I could pronounce on the menu was, 07:39.000 --> 07:41.000 watch your hat and coat. 07:41.000 --> 07:44.000 Anyway, I nonchalantly picked up the menu and ordered. 07:44.000 --> 07:47.000 I ordered Boulangeres Milanais Vichy Soir Sault Blanc. 07:47.000 --> 07:50.000 Two hours later, I came to order on a silver wagon. 07:50.000 --> 07:52.000 Underneath the tray was a flame. 07:52.000 --> 07:55.000 And on top of the flame, there it was undercover. 07:55.000 --> 08:00.000 My Boulangeres Milanais Vichy Soir Sault Blanc. 08:00.000 --> 08:04.000 I knew I'd muck before I got finished with it. 08:04.000 --> 08:07.000 Placing it before me, I lifted the lid. 08:07.000 --> 08:09.000 And what do you think it turned out to be? 08:09.000 --> 08:12.000 A grilled frankfurter. 08:12.000 --> 08:15.000 So you see, I save my money every dime, 08:15.000 --> 08:17.000 yet I'm starving half the time. 08:17.000 --> 08:29.000 Of course, I can't read a menu. 08:29.000 --> 08:31.000 Wonderful, my darling Jimmy. 08:31.000 --> 08:33.000 Hilarious as ever. 08:33.000 --> 08:37.000 It was back in 1930 when Mark Connolly brought his tender and moving fable, 08:37.000 --> 08:39.000 Green Pastures, to Broadway. 08:39.000 --> 08:43.000 It won the Pulitzer Prize and a permanent place in the hearts of thousands of theater goers. 08:43.000 --> 08:46.000 Tonight, Green Pastures is back playing at the Broadway Theater. 08:46.000 --> 08:50.000 And if anything, more beautifully presented, more beautifully enacted than ever. 08:50.000 --> 08:53.000 We are privileged to welcome to the big show now three of the famous players 08:53.000 --> 08:57.000 whose artistic portrayals of the principal role do so much to make this revival 08:57.000 --> 09:01.000 of Green Pastures a brilliant and memorable success. 09:01.000 --> 09:03.000 Here is William Marshall who plays the Lord, 09:03.000 --> 09:07.000 Marcie Davis as Gabriel, and Alonzo Bosin as Noah. 09:07.000 --> 09:16.000 O Lord, sound the trump of the just word, Hallelu. 09:16.000 --> 09:28.000 O Lord, hurry on to that day. 09:28.000 --> 09:31.000 The scene is God's private office in heaven. 09:31.000 --> 09:34.000 Gabriel with his pencil and paper is waiting in the pleasure of the Lord, 09:34.000 --> 09:38.000 who has many, many important matters on his mind, 09:38.000 --> 09:46.000 including how things might be going in those Green Pastures he made below called Earth. 09:46.000 --> 09:49.000 Well, I guess that's about all the important business this morning, Lord. 09:49.000 --> 09:53.000 How about that cherub over at Archangel Montgomery's house? 09:53.000 --> 09:54.000 Where do they live, Lord? 09:54.000 --> 09:57.000 That little two-story gold house over by the pearly gates. 09:57.000 --> 10:01.000 Oh, that Montgomery. I thought you were referring to the old gentleman. 10:01.000 --> 10:03.000 Oh, yeah. Here it is. 10:03.000 --> 10:08.000 Cherub Christina Montgomery, wings is molten out of season, 10:08.000 --> 10:11.000 and nobody know what to do. 10:11.000 --> 10:13.000 Well, now take care of that. 10:13.000 --> 10:15.000 You've got to be more careful, Geeb. 10:15.000 --> 10:16.000 Yes, Lord. 10:16.000 --> 10:19.000 Now watch yourself, Geeb, or don't you blow that horn. 10:19.000 --> 10:21.000 I wasn't going to blow, Lord. 10:21.000 --> 10:26.000 I just pick it up every now and then so I can keep the feel of it. 10:26.000 --> 10:29.000 Is there anything else you ought to remind me of? 10:29.000 --> 10:30.000 The prayers, Lord. 10:30.000 --> 10:31.000 The prayers? 10:31.000 --> 10:33.000 The mankind, you know, down on the Earth? 10:33.000 --> 10:36.000 Oh, yeah. The poor little Earth. 10:36.000 --> 10:39.000 Bless my soul, I almost forgot about that. 10:39.000 --> 10:43.000 Must be three or four hundred years since I've been down there. 10:43.000 --> 10:45.000 I wasn't any too pleased with that job. 10:45.000 --> 10:48.000 Ha! You know you don't make mistakes, Lord. 10:48.000 --> 10:51.000 So they tell me. 10:51.000 --> 10:53.000 I find I can be displeased, though, 10:53.000 --> 10:56.000 and I was displeased with the mankind I last seen. 10:56.000 --> 10:59.000 Maybe I ought to go down there again. 10:59.000 --> 11:01.000 I need a little holiday. 11:01.000 --> 11:04.000 Might do you good, Lord. 11:04.000 --> 11:06.000 I think I will. 11:06.000 --> 11:08.000 I'll go down there, walk the Earth again, 11:08.000 --> 11:11.000 and see how them poor humans is making out. 11:11.000 --> 11:14.000 What time is it by the sun and the stars? 11:14.000 --> 11:16.000 Just exactly half past, Lord. 11:16.000 --> 11:18.000 Well, take care of yourself. 11:18.000 --> 11:20.000 I'll be back, sadly. 11:20.000 --> 11:23.000 And I couldn't hear nobody pray 11:23.000 --> 11:26.000 I couldn't hear nobody pray 11:26.000 --> 11:31.000 I was a way down yonder by myself 11:31.000 --> 11:38.000 And I couldn't hear nobody pray 11:40.000 --> 11:42.000 My goodness. 11:42.000 --> 11:45.000 Things are real bad down here. 11:45.000 --> 11:48.000 I never did see so much sin. 11:48.000 --> 11:51.000 Why, I'd rather have my Earth people with a bunch of channel catfish 11:51.000 --> 11:54.000 than I would mankind in his teeth. 11:54.000 --> 11:57.000 I just can't stand to see. 11:57.000 --> 12:00.000 Well, I guess I got to be getting along here. 12:00.000 --> 12:01.000 Morning, brother. 12:01.000 --> 12:03.000 Good morning, brother. 12:03.000 --> 12:06.000 I declare, you look like a good man. 12:06.000 --> 12:08.000 I try to be brother. 12:08.000 --> 12:09.000 I'm the preacher here. 12:09.000 --> 12:12.000 I don't think I'll see you to the meeting. 12:12.000 --> 12:14.000 Oh, I just come to town a little while ago, 12:14.000 --> 12:16.000 and I've been pretty busy. 12:16.000 --> 12:19.000 Yeah, most everybody around here is pretty busy these days. 12:19.000 --> 12:22.000 They're so busy they can't come to the meeting. 12:22.000 --> 12:26.000 It seems like the more I preach, the more people ain't got time to come to church. 12:26.000 --> 12:29.000 I ain't hardly got enough members to fill up the choir. 12:29.000 --> 12:32.000 I got to do the preaching in the basin, too. 12:32.000 --> 12:33.000 Is that a fact? 12:33.000 --> 12:35.000 Yes, sir. 12:35.000 --> 12:37.000 You look like a preacher, too, brother. 12:37.000 --> 12:39.000 Well, I am, in a way. 12:39.000 --> 12:41.000 You just passing through the neighborhood? 12:41.000 --> 12:46.000 Yes, I wanted to see how things were going in your part of the country. 12:46.000 --> 12:49.000 And I've been feeling just about the way you do. 12:49.000 --> 12:51.000 It's enough to discourage you. 12:51.000 --> 12:54.000 Yes, but I got to keep wrestling with them. 12:54.000 --> 12:56.000 Why are you bound for right now, brother? 12:56.000 --> 12:58.000 I was just walking along. 12:58.000 --> 13:01.000 I thought I might stroll on to the next town. 13:01.000 --> 13:03.000 Well, that's a pretty good distance. 13:03.000 --> 13:04.000 I live right here. 13:04.000 --> 13:07.000 Why don't you stop me and give us the pleasure of your company for dinner? 13:07.000 --> 13:09.000 I believe old woman is guilty of chicken. 13:09.000 --> 13:12.000 Why, that's mighty nice of you, brother. 13:12.000 --> 13:14.000 I don't believe I caught your name. 13:14.000 --> 13:16.000 No, just brother Noah. 13:16.000 --> 13:17.000 This is my home, brother. 13:17.000 --> 13:21.000 Come right in. 13:21.000 --> 13:24.000 Yes, sir, and you got nice little home. 13:24.000 --> 13:26.000 Have a ten-cent cigar. 13:26.000 --> 13:27.000 Thank you. 13:27.000 --> 13:29.000 Much obliged. 13:29.000 --> 13:33.000 Just what seems to be the main trouble among mankind, Noah? 13:33.000 --> 13:39.000 Well, it seems to me the main trouble is that the whole district is wide open. 13:39.000 --> 13:41.000 Now you know that makes for loose living. 13:41.000 --> 13:46.000 Men folks spend all their time fighting and loafing and gambling and making bad liquor. 13:46.000 --> 13:48.000 What about the women? 13:48.000 --> 13:53.000 The women is worse than the men. 13:53.000 --> 13:55.000 If they ain't making love, part of the outing, 13:55.000 --> 13:58.000 begging, barring, and stealing money for policy tickets. 13:58.000 --> 14:00.000 Terrible, terrible. 14:00.000 --> 14:03.000 Yes, sir, this used to be a nice, decent community. 14:03.000 --> 14:05.000 I've been doing my best to preach the word, 14:05.000 --> 14:08.000 but it seems like every time I preach, 14:08.000 --> 14:10.000 the place just goes a little more to the dogs. 14:10.000 --> 14:12.000 The good Lord only knows what's going to happen. 14:12.000 --> 14:14.000 That is the truth. 14:14.000 --> 14:16.000 What's the matter? 14:16.000 --> 14:18.000 I just got a twitch. 14:18.000 --> 14:20.000 My buck a-go, I guess. 14:20.000 --> 14:22.000 Every now and then I get the twitch in the knee. 14:22.000 --> 14:24.000 Might be a sign of rain. 14:24.000 --> 14:27.000 That's just what it is. 14:27.000 --> 14:31.000 Noah, what's the most rain you ever had around these parts? 14:31.000 --> 14:35.000 Well, the water come down for six days steady last April, 14:35.000 --> 14:37.000 and the river got so slow, 14:37.000 --> 14:40.000 it bust down the river all up above pre-pour, 14:40.000 --> 14:43.000 raised cane all the way down to the delta. 14:43.000 --> 14:48.000 What would you say was it to rain for 40 days and 40 nights? 14:48.000 --> 14:52.000 Ah, I would say that was a complete rain. 14:52.000 --> 14:56.000 Noah, you don't know who I is, do you? 14:56.000 --> 14:59.000 Your face looks easy, but I don't think I recall the name. 14:59.000 --> 15:01.000 Look again, Noah. 15:01.000 --> 15:06.000 I should have known you. 15:06.000 --> 15:08.000 I should have seen the glory. 15:08.000 --> 15:10.000 That's all right, Noah. 15:10.000 --> 15:12.000 You didn't know who I was. 15:12.000 --> 15:14.000 You just don't preach at Noah, Lord. 15:14.000 --> 15:15.000 I'm your servant. 15:15.000 --> 15:18.000 I ain't very much, but that's all I've got. 15:18.000 --> 15:20.000 Sit down, Noah. 15:20.000 --> 15:22.000 Don't let me hear you shaming yourself. 15:22.000 --> 15:24.000 Say, you a good man. 15:24.000 --> 15:27.000 Just wanted to find out if you was good, Noah. 15:27.000 --> 15:29.000 Far as I can see, 15:29.000 --> 15:33.000 you and your family is the only respectable people in the world. 15:33.000 --> 15:35.000 They just all post-sins, Lord. 15:35.000 --> 15:36.000 I know. 15:36.000 --> 15:41.000 I'm your Lord, and I'm a god of wrath and vengeance. 15:41.000 --> 15:44.000 That's why I'm going to destroy this world. 15:44.000 --> 15:46.000 Just as you say, Lord. 15:46.000 --> 15:48.000 I ain't going to destroy you, Noah. 15:48.000 --> 15:51.000 You and your family, and your sheep and cattle, 15:51.000 --> 15:54.000 and all the other things that ain't human, I'm going to preserve. 15:54.000 --> 15:57.000 But the rest has got to go. 15:57.000 --> 15:59.000 They all got to go. 15:59.000 --> 16:04.000 Everything, everything in this pretty world I made. 16:04.000 --> 16:07.000 Except one thing, Noah. 16:07.000 --> 16:10.000 You, your family, and the things I said 16:10.000 --> 16:13.000 is going to ride that storm in the ark. 16:13.000 --> 16:16.000 Here's the way it's to be. 16:16.000 --> 16:17.000 Yes, sir. 16:17.000 --> 16:19.000 This seemed to be complete. 16:19.000 --> 16:22.000 Now about the animals, Lord, you say you want everything? 16:22.000 --> 16:24.000 Two of everything. 16:24.000 --> 16:27.000 That would include giraffes and hippopotamuses? 16:27.000 --> 16:29.000 Everything that is. 16:29.000 --> 16:31.000 Well, there was a circus club in town last week. 16:31.000 --> 16:33.000 I guess I can find them. 16:33.000 --> 16:36.000 Of course, I can get all the rabbits and possums and wild turkeys either. 16:36.000 --> 16:38.000 I'll just send the boys out. 16:38.000 --> 16:41.000 I was just wondering. 16:41.000 --> 16:42.000 About what? 16:42.000 --> 16:43.000 About snakes. 16:43.000 --> 16:44.000 Think you'd like snakes, too? 16:44.000 --> 16:46.000 Certainly I want snakes. 16:46.000 --> 16:48.000 Oh, I can get snakes, lots of them. 16:48.000 --> 16:51.000 Of course, some of them's a little dangerous. 16:51.000 --> 16:54.000 Maybe I better take a can of liquor, too. 16:54.000 --> 16:56.000 You can have a can of liquor. 16:56.000 --> 16:57.000 Yes, sir. 16:57.000 --> 17:00.000 There's an awful lot of different kinds of snakes come to think about it. 17:00.000 --> 17:03.000 There's watermarketsons and cottonmouths and rattlers. 17:03.000 --> 17:06.000 Must be a hundred kinds of other snakes down in the swamps. 17:06.000 --> 17:09.000 Maybe I better take two kegs of liquor. 17:09.000 --> 17:12.000 I think one keg's enough. 17:12.000 --> 17:14.000 No, I better take two kegs. 17:14.000 --> 17:20.000 Besides, I can put one on each side of the boat and balance the ship with them. 17:20.000 --> 17:23.000 As well as having them for medicinal use. 17:23.000 --> 17:26.000 You can put one keg in the middle of the ship. 17:26.000 --> 17:28.000 I just need to take two kegs, Lord. 17:28.000 --> 17:30.000 I think one keg's enough. 17:30.000 --> 17:31.000 Yes, Lord. 17:31.000 --> 17:36.000 But you see, forty days and forty nights. 17:38.000 --> 17:40.000 One keg, Noah? 17:40.000 --> 18:02.000 Yes, Lord, one keg. 18:10.000 --> 18:32.000 Oh, Lord,苦 inception 18:32.000 --> 18:35.000 Episode 10 18:35.000 --> 18:39.020 Well, there they are, Gabe. 18:39.020 --> 18:44.460 Knowing these folks and the birds and animals, the whole thing, high and dry and starting 18:44.460 --> 18:45.460 all over again. 18:45.460 --> 18:46.460 Yes, Lord. 18:46.460 --> 18:49.140 They sure is starting it all over down there. 18:49.140 --> 18:52.340 Well, it don't seem to set you up much, Gabe. 18:52.340 --> 18:55.780 Oh, well, Lord, you see, it ain't none of my business. 18:55.780 --> 18:56.780 What? 18:56.780 --> 18:59.460 I say, I don't know very much about it. 18:59.460 --> 19:01.780 I know you don't. 19:01.780 --> 19:03.780 I just wanted you to see it. 19:03.780 --> 19:07.340 Of course, it ain't your business, Gabe. 19:07.340 --> 19:08.340 It's my business. 19:08.340 --> 19:09.340 It was my idea. 19:09.340 --> 19:12.340 Why, the whole thing was my idea. 19:12.340 --> 19:16.540 And every bit of it's my business and nobody else's. 19:16.540 --> 19:19.780 Why, the whole thing rests on my shoulders. 19:19.780 --> 19:26.340 I declare, I guess that's why I feel so solemn and serious at this particular time. 19:26.340 --> 19:32.580 You know, this thing's turned into quite a proposition. 19:32.580 --> 19:34.340 Well, it's all right, Lord. 19:34.340 --> 19:36.340 As you say, it's dead. 19:36.340 --> 19:39.020 Yes, sir, it's dead. 19:39.020 --> 19:42.340 I only hope it's gonna work out all right. 19:42.340 --> 20:03.700 I heard of a city called Heaven, I started to make it my home. 20:13.340 --> 20:20.220 Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 20:20.220 --> 20:24.540 Our thanks, our thanks to three brilliant actors for those excerpts from Greenfaster. 20:24.540 --> 20:27.820 Still an inspired classic of the American theatre. 20:27.820 --> 20:28.820 Oh, Tallulah. 20:28.820 --> 20:31.180 Oh, Rudy, I will not let you break our date. 20:31.180 --> 20:32.540 Of course I wouldn't, Tallulah. 20:32.540 --> 20:36.100 I consider you a lady of infinite charm and well-versed in the social graces. 20:36.100 --> 20:37.620 Ah, thank you, my sweet. 20:37.620 --> 20:40.540 So when we leave the theatre, you will let me whistle for the taxi. 20:40.540 --> 20:47.340 Of course, Rudy, you may whistle for the taxi or anything else you may think of later. 20:47.340 --> 20:50.500 Good, girl. 20:50.500 --> 20:52.300 Thank you for each of those. 20:52.300 --> 20:54.100 Oh, one more thing. 20:54.100 --> 20:55.100 Yes, Rudy? 20:55.100 --> 20:58.700 When we're dancing, I usually hum a verse and two choruses. 20:58.700 --> 20:59.700 Please don't applaud. 20:59.700 --> 21:02.700 Mind if I swoon? 21:02.700 --> 21:06.620 If you do, you may feel confident that my arms are steel to support you. 21:06.620 --> 21:11.340 And one final suggestion, you'll find yourself wanting to run your fingers through my wavy 21:11.340 --> 21:12.340 hair. 21:12.340 --> 21:13.340 Don't. 21:13.340 --> 21:15.380 Just a censored, censored minute. 21:15.380 --> 21:17.860 I never heard too many don'ts in my life. 21:17.860 --> 21:19.740 I have a don't myself. 21:19.740 --> 21:21.660 I shall respect it to the letter. 21:21.660 --> 21:22.660 What is your don't? 21:22.660 --> 21:26.940 While we're dancing, if you have the urge to kiss me, don't hesitate. 21:26.940 --> 21:33.820 And now, if you will just cool your heels a while, vagabond lover boy, I would like to 21:33.820 --> 21:34.820 present our next guest. 21:34.820 --> 21:40.220 She is a beautiful blonde young lady who was born in Boston, tried to make her mark as a 21:40.220 --> 21:45.060 singer, found the going rough, went over to France and overnight became the Toaster Parrot. 21:45.060 --> 21:48.300 After four years, she returned to America as a French Discovery. 21:48.300 --> 21:50.940 Here she is, Miss, Mademoiselle Jane Morgan. 21:50.940 --> 21:54.940 Hello, or come with Harry Bootle, Lula. 21:54.940 --> 21:58.300 How do you do, Miss Morgan? 21:58.300 --> 21:59.300 My name is Rudy Valley. 21:59.300 --> 22:00.300 Oh, hello. 22:00.300 --> 22:01.300 This is a pleasure. 22:01.300 --> 22:02.300 I understand, my dear. 22:02.300 --> 22:08.540 Look, Rudy, if you don't mind, I would like to introduce Jane's song. 22:08.540 --> 22:10.220 I'm dying to hear her sing. 22:10.220 --> 22:11.220 What is your song, Miss Morgan? 22:11.220 --> 22:12.220 Je voudrais chanter Hymn à l'Amour. 22:12.220 --> 22:13.220 Eh bien, tu me prêches comme d'habitude de chanter à Paris? 22:13.220 --> 22:14.220 Oh, mais oui, je l'ai chanté souvent. 22:14.220 --> 22:15.220 Connaissez-vous Paris? 22:15.220 --> 22:16.220 Non, je te dois Paris. 22:16.220 --> 22:17.220 Mes élèves ont eu une boule pour leur printemps. 22:17.220 --> 22:18.220 Vous avez parlé comme un vrai Français. 22:18.220 --> 22:19.220 Je suis une doctrice d'envoi. 22:19.220 --> 22:20.220 Ha, ha, ha, ha. 22:20.220 --> 22:21.220 Eh, Miss Morgan, je vous invite à chanter la chanson. 22:21.220 --> 22:36.220 Je vous invite à chanter la chanson. 22:36.220 --> 22:55.700 Je vous invite à chanter la chanson. 22:55.700 --> 23:07.060 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 23:07.060 --> 23:27.420 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 23:27.420 --> 23:40.780 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 23:40.780 --> 23:55.780 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 23:55.780 --> 24:07.140 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 24:07.140 --> 24:17.140 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 24:17.140 --> 24:28.500 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 24:28.500 --> 24:40.500 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 24:40.500 --> 24:52.500 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 24:52.500 --> 25:04.500 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 25:04.500 --> 25:14.500 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 25:14.500 --> 25:28.500 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 25:28.500 --> 25:46.500 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 25:46.500 --> 25:54.500 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 25:54.500 --> 26:04.500 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 26:04.500 --> 26:18.500 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 26:18.500 --> 26:28.500 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 26:28.500 --> 26:42.500 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 26:42.500 --> 26:52.500 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 26:52.500 --> 27:06.500 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 27:06.500 --> 27:16.500 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 27:16.500 --> 27:26.500 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 27:26.500 --> 27:36.500 Chantez la chanson, chers amis. 27:56.500 --> 27:58.500 The Big Show. 27:58.500 --> 28:04.500 This is the national broadcasting company Sunday Extravaganza with the most scintillating personalities in show business. 28:04.500 --> 28:14.500 The Big Show, the Sunday night feature of NBC's All Star Festival, is brought to you by Chesterfield, the only cigarette that gives you mildness plus no unpleasant aftertaste. 28:14.500 --> 28:16.500 The cigarette that brings you Bing Crosby and Bob Hope. 28:16.500 --> 28:21.500 By the makers of Anisyn for fast relief from the pain of headache, neuritis and neuralgia. 28:21.500 --> 28:26.500 And by RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television. 28:26.500 --> 28:35.500 The big stars in this program are Fred Allen, Vivian Blaine, Jimmy Durante, Portland Hoffa, Jane Morgan, Rudy Valley, Meredith Wilson and his Big Show Orchestra and chorus. 28:35.500 --> 28:41.500 And every week, your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable Tallulah Bankhead. 28:41.500 --> 29:04.500 Well, darling, when we did this show from Hollywood last week, I left in such a rush, I forgot to make a phone call. 29:04.500 --> 29:08.500 And it's rather important, darling, so I know you won't mind if I talk to my friend over this microphone. 29:08.500 --> 29:15.500 Hello, Merle, this is Tallulah. Thank you for having me to dinner and for lending me that lovely scarf when I went home that night. 29:15.500 --> 29:19.500 You'll find the scarf wrapped around the lamppost in front of my hotel. 29:19.500 --> 29:24.500 I forgot now why I wrapped it around the lamppost, but it seemed like the thing to do at the time. 29:24.500 --> 29:28.500 And oh, yes, thanks so much, darling, for lending me your car for the week. 29:28.500 --> 29:32.500 Oh, and Merle, keep Tuesday morning free. You have a date in traffic court. 29:32.500 --> 29:38.500 Oh, but it wasn't your fault at all. I found a wonderful place to park the car and they put a ticket on it. 29:38.500 --> 29:45.500 I'm sure it must be a mistake because there was a big sign right there that said, fine for parking. 29:45.500 --> 29:50.500 And oh, oh, yes, darling, about the car, you remember the lamppost I mentioned with the scarf wrapped around it? 29:50.500 --> 29:53.500 You'll find the car wrapped around it, too. 29:53.500 --> 29:59.500 Well, that's why I wrapped the scarf around the lamppost. I couldn't stand there and watch the lamppost bleed to death, could I? 29:59.500 --> 30:03.500 Welcome back to New York, Tallulah. Red Allen, darling. Thank you. 30:03.500 --> 30:05.500 Oh, thank you. 30:09.500 --> 30:12.500 Tallulah, it's so nice having you back in town. I missed you. 30:12.500 --> 30:14.500 Oh, Fred, you're just saying that. 30:14.500 --> 30:21.500 Well, frankly, I am. I know which side my bread is buttered on at 84 cents a pound. 30:21.500 --> 30:25.500 Oh, Fred, I'm disappointed in you. Now, don't tell me you just come on the show for the money. 30:25.500 --> 30:31.500 Oh, no, no, it's not just for the money, Tallulah. It's the rent and the food, too. 30:31.500 --> 30:37.500 After all, money is only green stuff that's paid out to the government in the form of income tax too frequently. 30:37.500 --> 30:43.500 Say, by the way, Tallulah, I took the liberty of listing you on my income tax as a dependent. 30:43.500 --> 30:45.500 I'm independent of yours. 30:45.500 --> 30:51.500 No, no, I am a dependent of yours. I depend on being a guest on this show, you see. 30:51.500 --> 30:55.500 And when I am not, the most calamitous things do manage to happen. 30:55.500 --> 30:59.500 Oh, come now, Fred, nothing calamitous is going to happen if you're not on this show. 30:59.500 --> 31:01.500 Oh, now, please don't say that. 31:01.500 --> 31:04.500 Look, let me show you what happened last week while you were out in Hollywood. 31:04.500 --> 31:09.500 It started at home about a week ago today, yes? Last Sunday it was. 31:09.500 --> 31:15.500 I was doing my morning calisthenics, getting in shape to lift the Sunday times. 31:15.500 --> 31:18.500 And Portland was just sitting there in the corner doodling. 31:18.500 --> 31:22.500 Doodle, doodle, doodle, doodle, doodle, doodle, doodle, doodle, doodle, doodle, doodle. 31:22.500 --> 31:23.500 Portland, Portland, Portland. 31:23.500 --> 31:24.500 Yes, Fred? 31:24.500 --> 31:25.500 Uh... 31:25.500 --> 31:30.500 APPLAUSE 31:30.500 --> 31:33.500 Will you stop doodling without any yanking in front of it? 31:33.500 --> 31:35.500 I was thinking that... 31:35.500 --> 31:38.500 Really? Wait a minute, with what? With what? Let's... Yes? 31:38.500 --> 31:45.500 Fred, when we go to the Copacabana tonight, you ought to buy orchids for the three ladies in the party. 31:45.500 --> 31:52.500 Orchids? Are you kidding? It's bad enough to have to take a party of six to dinner at that sunken Taj Mahal. 31:52.500 --> 31:54.500 I should buy orchids yet. 31:54.500 --> 31:59.500 And it had to be this week you arranged the whole thing with Tallulah taking her show to Hollywood, and I'm out of a job. 31:59.500 --> 32:00.500 Well, you told me, Tallulah... 32:00.500 --> 32:02.500 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 32:02.500 --> 32:03.500 You told me... 32:03.500 --> 32:06.500 Well, if you have to dialogue, get some stuff for the frog in there. Get some... 32:06.500 --> 32:12.500 Give the frog a few lines if you have them in your throat. Don't get it standing there with nothing to say. 32:12.500 --> 32:14.500 You told me Tallulah likes you. 32:14.500 --> 32:19.500 Well, she does in a geographical way. She told me she'd go to the ends of the earth for me. 32:19.500 --> 32:22.500 But did she have to start this week? 32:22.500 --> 32:24.500 Well, it's uphill. She wanted to get an early start. 32:24.500 --> 32:27.500 Just when I want you to buy some orchids. 32:27.500 --> 32:31.500 Oh, stop. Why didn't you go to NBC and clear your throat before we started the whole... 32:31.500 --> 32:37.500 Oh, stop with the orchids, Portland. Look, I got along very well before I knew Tallulah, back in B.C. 32:37.500 --> 32:41.500 And I'll get along... I'll get along... 32:41.500 --> 32:49.500 I'll get along... You want me to... Five, ten... You clear your throat. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty. 32:49.500 --> 32:54.500 Alright. And I'll get along now, too. I was on radio for 17 consecutive years before I went off the air. 32:54.500 --> 32:57.500 Well, Mama always said you couldn't hold a job. 32:57.500 --> 32:58.500 Yeah. 32:58.500 --> 33:03.500 And Mama says you should have taken that job you were offered in Louisville as a disc jockey. 33:03.500 --> 33:08.500 Well, that wasn't a disc jockey. That was just jockey. 33:08.500 --> 33:13.500 And tell your mother to stop riding me unless she weighs in before. 33:13.500 --> 33:19.500 Mama warned me that someday you would deny me the simple little things of life. 33:19.500 --> 33:22.500 The simple little things like orchids, for example? 33:22.500 --> 33:25.500 Everybody wears orchids to a nightclub dinner. 33:25.500 --> 33:31.500 Well, what do you need with orchids? Look, can't you dye a couple of lettuce leaves purple? 33:31.500 --> 33:37.500 And after we get there, you can sprinkle a little oil and vinegar on them, and we'll save on the salad. 33:37.500 --> 33:39.500 Oh, no. Not again. 33:39.500 --> 33:47.500 I did it last week when you told me to take the pimento out of the olive and put it in my ring for a ruby. 33:47.500 --> 33:51.500 Well, it looked very good with that string of pearls you were wearing. 33:51.500 --> 33:52.500 Pearls? 33:52.500 --> 33:55.500 It was a wet-looking ruby, but I mean it looked well with the pearls. 33:55.500 --> 34:00.500 Those baby onions you made me string around my neck. 34:00.500 --> 34:04.500 Well, I thought you looked good enough to eat. 34:04.500 --> 34:08.500 Well, if you won't buy the orchids, I won't go. 34:08.500 --> 34:10.500 Good. I'll call up and cancel the table at the copa. 34:10.500 --> 34:12.500 Aw, Fred, you didn't actually cancel the table. 34:12.500 --> 34:15.500 Well, I certainly did, Tallulah, and the chairs, too. 34:15.500 --> 34:18.500 I called up a friend of mine who happens to be working at the copa. 34:18.500 --> 34:20.500 Hello? Yes, this is Jimmy the Ranny. 34:20.500 --> 34:24.500 Jimmy, I want to cancel that table for dinner for tonight. 34:24.500 --> 34:28.500 Cancel the table? Wait a minute, we don't allow eating on the floor. 34:28.500 --> 34:30.500 Well, I mean we're not coming. Cancel it. 34:30.500 --> 34:31.500 And you didn't go to the copa? 34:31.500 --> 34:35.500 No, we didn't. And when word got around to the owners of the copa, 34:35.500 --> 34:38.500 the tables were being canceled, so they told Jimmy Durandy 34:38.500 --> 34:40.500 that they were going to cancel him. 34:40.500 --> 34:42.500 So Jimmy instantly got on the phone. 34:42.500 --> 34:45.500 Hello, Rudy Vellie? Yes, this is he. 34:45.500 --> 34:47.500 This is Jimmy the Ranny. 34:47.500 --> 34:51.500 Oh, hi-ho, Jimmy. And ho-hi-ho to you. 34:54.500 --> 34:56.500 Don't push me out of the mic. 34:56.500 --> 34:59.500 And ho-hi-ho to you, too. 34:59.500 --> 35:02.500 Maybe my... maybe my mother got a second laugh. Oh, no. 35:02.500 --> 35:04.500 You got a minute? Sure. 35:04.500 --> 35:07.500 My time is your time, your time is my time. 35:07.500 --> 35:10.500 All right, don't give me no contract. 35:10.500 --> 35:13.500 I got a job for you. I'm being canceled out of the copa. 35:13.500 --> 35:16.500 They're looking for a cheap act to take my place. 35:16.500 --> 35:18.500 How dare you. When do I start? 35:18.500 --> 35:21.500 Right away. You got any new fresh material? 35:21.500 --> 35:22.500 No, but I'll have some written. 35:22.500 --> 35:24.500 I'll call up a friend of mine right away. 35:24.500 --> 35:27.500 Hello? Is this the Unemployment Insurance Office? 35:27.500 --> 35:30.500 I'd like to speak to Fred Allen. This is Rudy Vellie. 35:30.500 --> 35:33.500 Oh, hello, Rudy. Yes, you just caught me here in time. 35:33.500 --> 35:35.500 Fred, will you write some fresh new material for me? 35:35.500 --> 35:37.500 I'll pay you $1,000. 35:37.500 --> 35:39.500 Well, that's a deal. Thank you, Rudy. 35:39.500 --> 35:41.500 For anyone who noticed that I got my phone call 35:41.500 --> 35:43.500 at the Unemployment Insurance Office, 35:43.500 --> 35:45.500 I really ought to explain that I've been doing 35:45.500 --> 35:47.500 so much business with them lately 35:47.500 --> 35:50.500 that they have put a branch office in my living room. 35:50.500 --> 35:52.500 Now, on with the plot. 35:52.500 --> 35:54.500 Portland, order those orchids. 35:54.500 --> 35:56.500 We're going to the copa tonight. 35:56.500 --> 35:58.500 But, Fred, you canceled the reservation. 35:58.500 --> 36:00.500 Oh, shucks, so I did. 36:00.500 --> 36:01.500 Well, I'll fix that right away. 36:01.500 --> 36:03.500 I'll call my friend Jimmy Durandy. 36:03.500 --> 36:05.500 Hello? Uh, Durandy speaking. 36:05.500 --> 36:07.500 Jimmy, this is Fred Allen. 36:07.500 --> 36:09.500 I want that table back for dinner. 36:09.500 --> 36:11.500 Hello? This is Rudy Vellie speaking. 36:11.500 --> 36:14.500 This is Jimmy. That job at the copa for you is off. 36:14.500 --> 36:16.500 They're buying tables again. 36:16.500 --> 36:18.500 Yes. Will you get off the phone, Jimmy? 36:18.500 --> 36:19.500 I have to make a call. 36:19.500 --> 36:21.500 Hello? Yes, this is Fred Allen. 36:21.500 --> 36:23.500 Fred, I'm sorry, but I won't need that new material. 36:23.500 --> 36:26.500 Why? Are you going on television? 36:27.500 --> 36:29.500 No, my job has been canceled. 36:29.500 --> 36:31.500 Portland, cancel those orchids. 36:31.500 --> 36:33.500 Well, Fred, you're right back where you started from. 36:33.500 --> 36:35.500 Well, it even went farther than that, Tallulah. 36:35.500 --> 36:38.500 Portland canceled the $20 worth of orchids. 36:38.500 --> 36:40.500 The florist had been counting on that $20 36:40.500 --> 36:42.500 to make a payment on his car. 36:42.500 --> 36:43.500 They took the car away. 36:43.500 --> 36:46.500 The florist's son, who had been promised the car for that night 36:46.500 --> 36:48.500 so he could propose to his girl, 36:48.500 --> 36:50.500 had to take a streetcar. 36:50.500 --> 36:52.500 He started to propose to the girl on the streetcar. 36:52.500 --> 36:54.500 The streetcar gave a lurch, 36:54.500 --> 36:56.500 and he found himself engaged to the wrong girl. 36:56.500 --> 36:59.500 And the first girl sued him for breach of promise. 36:59.500 --> 37:01.500 And the second girl was already married, 37:01.500 --> 37:04.500 so the florist's son was sent up for 20 years. 37:04.500 --> 37:06.500 So you see, Tallulah, there you are, 37:06.500 --> 37:09.500 having jinx high and low in California, 37:09.500 --> 37:12.500 while this poor florist's son is sitting up there in jail 37:12.500 --> 37:15.500 with a single petunia, all because you didn't have me 37:15.500 --> 37:17.500 on your program last week. 37:17.500 --> 37:20.500 For shame, girl. 37:20.500 --> 37:21.500 I wish I would have. 37:21.500 --> 37:22.500 Dipped her. 37:22.500 --> 37:39.500 And now, here are two gentlemen who are on this show 37:39.500 --> 37:41.500 every week for a very special purpose, 37:41.500 --> 37:43.500 Bob Hope and Bing Crosby. 37:43.500 --> 37:44.500 Say, Bing, you got a minute? 37:44.500 --> 37:46.500 Oh, sure, Bob. I got all the time in the world. 37:46.500 --> 37:47.500 Don't tell me you own that, too. 37:47.500 --> 37:49.500 Never mind that stuff. Get to work with it. 37:49.500 --> 37:51.500 Okay, folks, better tasting Chesterfield 37:51.500 --> 37:53.500 is the only cigarette that combines for you 37:53.500 --> 37:55.500 mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste. 37:55.500 --> 37:57.500 And you can prove that yourself. 37:57.500 --> 37:59.500 Just make our mildness test. 37:59.500 --> 38:01.500 Buy Chesterfield, then open them, 38:01.500 --> 38:03.500 and enjoy that milder, mellow aroma. 38:03.500 --> 38:05.500 Now light one up, and you'll know Chesterfield's milder 38:05.500 --> 38:07.500 because it smokes milder. 38:07.500 --> 38:09.500 And Chesterfield leaves no unpleasant aftertaste. 38:09.500 --> 38:11.500 That fact has been confirmed by the country's 38:11.500 --> 38:13.500 first and only cigarette taste panel. 38:13.500 --> 38:15.500 Yes, mildness and no unpleasant aftertaste 38:15.500 --> 38:17.500 are what you and I and every smoker want. 38:17.500 --> 38:19.500 Oh, yeah, Dad, here comes the music. 38:19.500 --> 38:22.500 Buy Chesterfield, Chesterfield, 38:22.500 --> 38:24.500 the one that proves its case. 38:24.500 --> 38:26.500 Yes, Chesterfield's a milder, milder, 38:26.500 --> 38:28.500 plus no aftertaste. 38:28.500 --> 38:30.500 So, ho, open the pack and give them a sniff, 38:30.500 --> 38:32.500 then you'll smoke them. 38:40.500 --> 38:42.500 This past week, the drama critics of New York 38:42.500 --> 38:44.500 made their annual awards for the best plays 38:44.500 --> 38:46.500 on Broadway. 38:46.500 --> 38:48.500 The award for the best musical comedy went to 38:48.500 --> 38:50.500 Guides and Dolls. 38:50.500 --> 38:52.500 We are fortunate to have on the big show this evening 38:52.500 --> 38:54.500 the beautiful, young, and talented blonde 38:54.500 --> 38:56.500 who starred in Guides and Dolls, Miss Vivian Blaine. 39:04.500 --> 39:06.500 Come here, Vivian, darling. 39:06.500 --> 39:08.500 Or shall I call you by the name of that Iranian character 39:08.500 --> 39:10.500 you play in Guides and Dolls, Adelaide? 39:10.500 --> 39:12.500 Call me anything you like, Tallulah. 39:12.500 --> 39:14.500 I always say it's not what a patient's name is. 39:14.500 --> 39:16.500 It's what a patient is himself or herself, 39:16.500 --> 39:18.500 whatever the gender they may be. 39:18.500 --> 39:20.500 That's what I always say. 39:20.500 --> 39:22.500 You always say that, do you? 39:22.500 --> 39:24.500 I certainly do. 39:24.500 --> 39:26.500 I certainly do. I say it all the time. 39:26.500 --> 39:28.500 You must eat a lot of dinners alone, baby. 39:28.500 --> 39:30.500 Well, if I do, it's by choice, I assure you. 39:30.500 --> 39:32.500 Please spare me the details. 39:32.500 --> 39:34.500 I'll be very happy to. 39:34.500 --> 39:36.500 You see, a girl like me has to be very careful 39:36.500 --> 39:38.500 of the patients with whom she associates with. 39:38.500 --> 39:40.500 I'm not a woman. 39:40.500 --> 39:42.500 I'm a patient with whom she associates with. 39:42.500 --> 39:44.500 Why? 39:44.500 --> 39:46.500 Well, there's only one reason a guy goes out with a doll like I. 39:46.500 --> 39:48.500 It's my bilk. 39:48.500 --> 39:50.500 Your what? 39:50.500 --> 39:52.500 My bilk. 39:52.500 --> 39:54.500 Didn't you notice the bilk on my body? 39:56.500 --> 39:58.500 Oh, of course, of course. 39:58.500 --> 40:00.500 You're very tempered, darling. 40:00.500 --> 40:02.500 I don't worry much about that. 40:02.500 --> 40:04.500 Men go out with me for my mind. 40:04.500 --> 40:06.500 Yes? Well, men go out with me for what I don't mind. 40:06.500 --> 40:08.500 Every guy I go out with wants to nip. 40:08.500 --> 40:10.500 Aren't men disgusting? 40:10.500 --> 40:12.500 Oh, I don't find them that way, darling. 40:12.500 --> 40:14.500 I went out with a man the other night. 40:14.500 --> 40:16.500 He didn't even try to hold my hand. 40:16.500 --> 40:18.500 Oh, honey, that's too disgusting. 40:18.500 --> 40:20.500 This man happened to be a gentleman. 40:20.500 --> 40:22.500 They are the worst kind. 40:22.500 --> 40:24.500 I used to go out with a guy like that. 40:24.500 --> 40:26.500 He had a lot of money, but he was a phony. 40:26.500 --> 40:28.500 Oh, what'd he do? 40:28.500 --> 40:30.500 He made phony money. 40:30.500 --> 40:32.500 How's it better? 40:32.500 --> 40:34.500 He'll get himself a good job. 40:34.500 --> 40:36.500 How's it better? 40:36.500 --> 40:38.500 He'll get in trouble with the government. 40:38.500 --> 40:40.500 Oh, no. He's not in competition with the government. 40:40.500 --> 40:42.500 He only made three dollar bills. 40:42.500 --> 40:44.500 He was the best in the business. 40:44.500 --> 40:46.500 What an artist he was. 40:46.500 --> 40:48.500 But he was such a perfectionist. 40:48.500 --> 40:50.500 He fooled around on each bill for so long, 40:50.500 --> 40:52.500 he finally went bankrupt. 40:52.500 --> 40:54.500 Now, why was that? 40:54.500 --> 40:56.500 Well, each three dollars cost him four dollars to make up. 40:56.500 --> 40:58.500 There's no money in money anymore. 41:00.500 --> 41:02.500 And then he went into another business. 41:02.500 --> 41:04.500 What an unlucky guy. 41:04.500 --> 41:06.500 So nice, but just no head for business. 41:06.500 --> 41:08.500 He was doing great in this new business. 41:08.500 --> 41:10.500 And suddenly the phone company 41:10.500 --> 41:12.500 raises the call to ten cents 41:12.500 --> 41:14.500 and he's overloaded with nickel slugs. 41:14.500 --> 41:16.500 Yes, it's getting so a man 41:16.500 --> 41:18.500 can't make an honest dollar these days. 41:18.500 --> 41:20.500 You're so right, Tallulah. 41:20.500 --> 41:22.500 He finally got so discouraged, 41:22.500 --> 41:24.500 he gave up being legitimate and went into a crooked business. 41:24.500 --> 41:26.500 Oh, really? What's he doing? 41:26.500 --> 41:28.500 He's in politics. 41:28.500 --> 41:30.500 I don't see him anymore, 41:30.500 --> 41:32.500 except on television once in a while. 41:40.500 --> 41:42.500 I do see his wife now and then. 41:42.500 --> 41:44.500 Oh, the eternal triangle. 41:44.500 --> 41:46.500 Yeah, she's got to build something like that. 41:48.500 --> 41:50.500 But I must say, I still vote for him 41:50.500 --> 41:52.500 every election. 41:52.500 --> 41:54.500 That's one thing I always say. 41:54.500 --> 41:56.500 A loyal friend is a person 41:56.500 --> 41:58.500 who is loyal to his friend. 41:58.500 --> 42:00.500 Or her friend, depending upon 42:00.500 --> 42:02.500 whether the friends are guys or dolls. 42:02.500 --> 42:04.500 Well, darling, you just keep on saying that. 42:04.500 --> 42:06.500 Meanwhile, I'd like to introduce... 42:06.500 --> 42:08.500 We dolls on Broadway are loyal 42:08.500 --> 42:10.500 to a friend to the end. 42:10.500 --> 42:12.500 The end, good. 42:12.500 --> 42:14.500 Now I would like to introduce... 42:14.500 --> 42:16.500 Now you take a friend of mine, Tallulah. 42:16.500 --> 42:18.500 Must I? 42:18.500 --> 42:20.500 Well, this friend of mine, this particular friend of mine 42:20.500 --> 42:22.500 who shall be laid nameless, is going with a guy 42:22.500 --> 42:24.500 who got himself into a little bit of mischief. 42:24.500 --> 42:26.500 He made it somebody. 42:26.500 --> 42:28.500 And when he went to the electric chair, 42:28.500 --> 42:30.500 do you know that she promised to wait for him? 42:34.500 --> 42:36.500 Good for nameless. 42:36.500 --> 42:38.500 Now, darling, would you mind 42:38.500 --> 42:40.500 singing your song? 42:40.500 --> 42:42.500 Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Vivian Blaine singing 42:42.500 --> 42:44.500 The Thrill is Gone. Merger, if you please, darling. 42:44.500 --> 43:02.500 The thrill is gone. The thrill is gone. 43:02.500 --> 43:12.500 I can see it in your eyes. I can hear it in your sighs. 43:12.500 --> 43:24.500 Feel your touch and realize the thrill is gone. 43:24.500 --> 43:32.500 The night is cold, for love is old. 43:32.500 --> 43:36.500 Love was grand when love was new. 43:36.500 --> 43:40.500 Birds were singing, skies were blue. 43:40.500 --> 43:44.500 Now they don't appear to you. 43:44.500 --> 43:50.500 The thrill is gone. This is the end. 43:50.500 --> 44:04.500 So why we can't let it go on? 44:04.500 --> 44:14.500 The thrill is gone. 44:14.500 --> 44:20.500 The thrill is gone. The thrill is gone. 44:20.500 --> 44:26.500 The thrill is gone. For I can see it in your eyes. 44:26.500 --> 44:32.500 I can hear it in your sighs. Feel your touch and realize 44:32.500 --> 44:40.500 the thrill is gone. The night is cold, for love is old. 44:40.500 --> 44:44.500 Love was grand when love was new. 44:44.500 --> 44:48.500 Birds were singing, skies were blue. 44:48.500 --> 44:50.500 Now they don't appear to you. 44:50.500 --> 44:56.500 The thrill is gone. This is the end. 44:56.500 --> 45:06.500 So why we can't let it go on? 45:06.500 --> 45:16.500 The thrill is gone. This is the end. 45:16.500 --> 45:26.500 The thrill is gone. 45:26.500 --> 45:39.500 Applause 45:39.500 --> 45:42.500 Beautifully done, Vivian. And now, my apotent Muda Valley. 45:42.500 --> 45:45.500 Rudy, Miss Blaine. And don't make me sorry. 45:45.500 --> 45:46.500 Glad to meet you. 45:46.500 --> 45:49.500 My dear, I've been admiring your charms from afar 45:49.500 --> 45:52.500 for all these 40 minutes and I find you singularly attractive. 45:52.500 --> 45:55.500 Your pulchritude is exceeded only by your vivacity. 45:55.500 --> 45:57.500 Come again, Matt? 45:57.500 --> 46:02.500 I'm trying to say, my dear, is, Gert, what a bilk on your body. 46:02.500 --> 46:05.500 Rudy, I think it's time for a song. 46:05.500 --> 46:07.500 Miss Blaine, I can do much for you, my dear. 46:07.500 --> 46:08.500 Oh, no. 46:08.500 --> 46:13.500 I can take this rough, uncut diamond and hew it into a stone of unparalleled brilliance and polish 46:13.500 --> 46:17.500 if you'll only put yourself in my hands. 46:17.500 --> 46:22.500 No matter how they start out, it always ends up with necking. 46:22.500 --> 46:24.500 My dear, you do me a great injustice. 46:24.500 --> 46:29.500 Before we go any further, Mr. Valley, I'd like to ask you one question. 46:29.500 --> 46:30.500 Do you gamble? 46:30.500 --> 46:31.500 Why do you ask that? 46:31.500 --> 46:36.500 Well, I just want you to understand, no dice. 46:36.500 --> 46:38.500 That ought to hold you, son. 46:38.500 --> 46:41.500 Now, Rudy darling, how about that song you made famous? 46:41.500 --> 46:43.500 The Whippenpoofs song. 46:43.500 --> 46:45.500 Mary Wilson, darling, music please. 46:45.500 --> 47:14.500 To the tables down at morning, to the place where we dwell, to the dear old temple bar 47:14.500 --> 47:20.500 and the magic of their singing cast its spell. 47:20.500 --> 47:28.500 Yes, the magic of their singing, all the songs we love so well. 47:28.500 --> 47:35.500 Shall I wait here and move on in and the rest? 47:35.500 --> 47:44.500 We will serenade our leaves while life and voice shall last. 47:44.500 --> 47:58.500 Then we'll pass and be forgotten with the rest. 47:58.500 --> 48:12.500 We're poor little lands who have lost our way. 48:12.500 --> 48:26.500 We're little black sheep who have gone astray. 48:26.500 --> 48:39.500 Gentlemen, song, stirs up on us free, doomed from here to eternity. 48:39.500 --> 48:58.500 God have mercy on such as we, Ba, Ba, Ba. 48:58.500 --> 49:15.500 Gentlemen, song, stirs up on us free, doomed from here to eternity. 49:15.500 --> 49:38.500 God have mercy on such as we, Ba, Ba, Ba. 49:38.500 --> 50:06.500 Ba, Ba, Ba. 50:06.500 --> 50:10.500 The next time you suffer from pains of headache, neuritis or neuralgia, take Anisyn. 50:10.500 --> 50:14.500 You'll bless the day you heard of this incredibly fast way to relieve these pains. 50:14.500 --> 50:19.500 Now the reason Anisyn is so wonderfully fast acting and effective is this. 50:19.500 --> 50:21.500 Anisyn is like a doctor's prescription. 50:21.500 --> 50:29.500 That is, Anisyn contains not just one but a combination of medically proven active ingredients in easy to take tablet form. 50:29.500 --> 50:35.500 Thousands of people have received envelopes containing Anisyn tablets from their own dentist or physician. 50:35.500 --> 50:42.500 And in this way, discovered the incredibly fast relief Anisyn brings from pains of headache, neuritis or neuralgia. 50:42.500 --> 50:48.500 So the next time a headache strikes, take Anisyn for this wonderfully fast relief. 50:48.500 --> 50:50.500 Anisyn, A-N-A-C-I-N. 50:50.500 --> 50:56.500 Anisyn comes in handy boxes of 12 and 30, economical family size bottles of 50 and 100. 50:56.500 --> 50:59.500 Get Anisyn at any drug counter. 50:59.500 --> 51:16.500 I don't know whether you noticed it, ladies and gentlemen, but we had one gentleman on the big show this week who is famous for singing through his nose, Rudy Valle. 51:16.500 --> 51:20.500 There is another gentleman who talks through his nose, Fred Allen. 51:20.500 --> 51:26.500 And if that isn't enough, we also have the original nose himself, Jimmy Durante. 51:26.500 --> 51:34.500 After they all got together, we realized that Valle, Allen and Durante on the same program was like putting bananas on bananas. 51:34.500 --> 51:41.500 All of which prompted our medical assistant to write a new tune which he calls, Don't Put Bananas on Bananas. 51:41.500 --> 51:49.500 And it will be sung by our nasal reserve trio, Rudy, Fred and Jimmy. 51:49.500 --> 52:06.500 I was doing a little high class beachcombing along the Florida Keys one day, hoping that a little bit of flotsam or jetsam might chance to come my way. 52:06.500 --> 52:12.500 When all at once a passing young beauty aroused in me a feeling of bodily paternity. 52:12.500 --> 52:15.500 Freak dun dun, but true. 52:15.500 --> 52:23.500 She was a local gal known as Florence Flotsam amongst the fellows of my paternity. 52:28.500 --> 52:31.500 Meredith, do we need these gentleman? 52:31.500 --> 52:36.500 Later that evening I met her by pre-arrangement of course. 52:36.500 --> 52:46.500 Back of the merry-go-round, but all of her bathing suit charm of the day was nowhere to be found. 52:46.500 --> 52:52.500 She was wearing false eyelashes, hooked curls where no curls ever grew. 52:52.500 --> 53:04.500 Down was that wonderful fresh morning look. Well, scrub, we call it, my set. 53:04.500 --> 53:11.500 For cheeks, well, engine house number two. Then I quickly burned her. 53:11.500 --> 53:19.500 And this was my return. Don't put bananas on bananas. 53:19.500 --> 53:26.500 Do not guilt a lily, I am bored. Don't take coronas to Havana. 53:26.500 --> 53:33.500 Take no oysters to the Baltimore. Don't put bananas on bananas. 53:33.500 --> 53:41.500 Ain't no dimples on my lane, is he? Girls, must you figure that a figure's better bigger? 53:41.500 --> 53:45.500 Don't put bananas on bananas, if you please. 53:45.500 --> 53:52.500 Folks in Nevada, they don't need any dice. Right, folks in Alaska, they don't need any ice. 53:52.500 --> 53:59.500 In Milwaukee, they don't need any drool. Right, and so, my friend, let me say to you. 53:59.500 --> 54:06.500 Don't put bananas on bananas. Do not guilt a lily, I am bored. 54:06.500 --> 54:13.500 Take no peaches to Atlanta. Do not sail your junk to Singapore. 54:13.500 --> 54:20.500 Don't put bananas on bananas. Do not add one hole to twice as many. 54:20.500 --> 54:23.500 Girls just get muscle when they hustle with a bustle. 54:23.500 --> 54:32.500 Don't put bananas on bananas, if you please. 54:32.500 --> 54:50.500 Now here's a word from RCA Victor. Soon another baseball season will be underway, and it promises to be the biggest and the best yet. 54:50.500 --> 54:55.500 It's the 75th anniversary of the National League and the 50th anniversary of the American Circuit. 54:55.500 --> 55:00.500 And these milestones attest to the enduring enjoyment we derive from our national pastime. 55:00.500 --> 55:05.500 It's the American way. Baseball today. So get out to the park as often as you can. 55:05.500 --> 55:08.500 And when you can't be at the game in person, do the next best thing. 55:08.500 --> 55:12.500 Root for your favorite team on RCA Victor million-proof television. 55:12.500 --> 55:15.500 Its quality is proven in over two million homes. 55:15.500 --> 55:20.500 That one word, quality, explains why RCA Victor is America's most owned television. 55:20.500 --> 55:29.500 See your RCA Victor dealer soon, and when you're there, order your copy of a truly unusual RCA Victor record, Fran Warren's recording session. 55:29.500 --> 55:48.500 Only 25 cents with the purchase of any one of the 27 great records in the RCA Victor's new Singers single series. 55:48.500 --> 55:55.500 Well, darlings, we have more show for you with all of our guests in just a moment. But first, Ed Hurley, he wants to say... 55:55.500 --> 56:03.500 This portion of the program was brought to you by Chesterfield, the only cigarette that gives you mildness plus no unpleasant aftertaste, the best cigarette for you to smoke. 56:03.500 --> 56:07.500 By the makers of Anisyn, for fast relief from the pain of headache, ureitis, and neuralgia. 56:07.500 --> 56:12.500 And by RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television. 56:12.500 --> 56:14.500 Now to Lola, if you'll ring your child. 56:14.500 --> 56:19.500 Now be glad to, Ed. This, darlings, is NBC, the national broadcasting company. 56:19.500 --> 56:29.500 This is the big show, and Talona Bankhead is about to introduce her next guest. 56:29.500 --> 56:31.500 Yes, ladies and gentlemen, for our next number, we will... 56:31.500 --> 56:33.500 Hey, well, look who's here. Hello, John. 56:33.500 --> 56:36.500 Hi, Fred. I wanted to speak to Miss Bankhead. 56:36.500 --> 56:37.500 Yeah? 56:37.500 --> 56:40.500 Maybe I better come back later if she's busy. 56:40.500 --> 56:41.500 What's going on over there? 56:41.500 --> 56:47.500 No, no, John, look, this is only a radio show. Don't bother. After all, you are the radio and television critic of the New York Herald Tribune. 56:47.500 --> 56:49.500 Come on over. I'll introduce you. 56:49.500 --> 56:51.500 Talona, this is John Crosby. 56:51.500 --> 57:01.500 How do you do, Mr. Crosby? How's your father? 57:01.500 --> 57:04.500 The Bing wasn't feeling too well last week. 57:04.500 --> 57:07.500 Fred, maybe I better come back later. 57:07.500 --> 57:10.500 No, no, now wait. No, John, just a minute. I'll straighten this thing out. 57:10.500 --> 57:14.500 Talona, Mr. Crosby is with the New York Herald Tribune. 57:14.500 --> 57:19.500 You mean Bing, with all his money, would let his kids sell newspapers? 57:19.500 --> 57:21.500 Toulou, John is not Bing's son. 57:21.500 --> 57:23.500 Then why does he use his name? 57:23.500 --> 57:28.500 Miss Bankhead, everybody named Crosby isn't related to Bing. It just seems that way. 57:28.500 --> 57:32.500 Look, John Crosby at Toulou is the critic on the Herald Tribune. 57:32.500 --> 57:41.500 Now, you know, a critic is one of those writers who's always telling actors how badly they do something that he couldn't do half as well if he could do it at all. 57:41.500 --> 57:48.500 Oh, I don't know, Fred. Well, I can tell a good egg from a bad egg. I just can't lay one. 57:48.500 --> 57:52.500 What makes you think you won't hear, brother? 57:52.500 --> 57:54.500 Doesn't everybody on this show? 57:54.500 --> 57:57.500 No, isn't he a critic? 57:57.500 --> 58:01.500 Always knocking something. How did you ever become a critic, Mr. Crosby? 58:01.500 --> 58:09.500 Oh, I had all the qualifications, a college education, a typewriter, and a bad gallbladder condition. 58:09.500 --> 58:14.500 Well, are you going to write a review about the big show? Have you been listening to us lately? 58:14.500 --> 58:18.500 No, lately I've been getting most of my entertainment on my television set. 58:18.500 --> 58:20.500 Well, what are you getting on your radio? 58:20.500 --> 58:22.500 Dust. 58:22.500 --> 58:28.500 Mr. Crosby, I don't like your attitude. I happen to be a very good friend of the editor of the Herald Tribune. What's his name again? 58:28.500 --> 58:29.500 Forrest Gribby? 58:29.500 --> 58:38.500 Yes. After all, you're compared to the new around here, Johnny Cumlakely. I was around on Broadway before radio. 58:38.500 --> 58:41.500 I understand it was before newspapers, too. 58:41.500 --> 58:44.500 Well, now you didn't come up here just to insult me, did you, John? 58:44.500 --> 58:52.500 No, no I didn't. As a matter of fact, I came up here as a representative of the newspaper guild to invite you to the annual Page One Ball at the Astor Hotel. 58:52.500 --> 58:57.500 Oh, you're selling tickets. I'm sorry, darling, I don't care for any. Besides, I'm going to be busy that night. 58:57.500 --> 58:59.500 I haven't told you what night it is. 58:59.500 --> 59:02.500 Well, let's not quibble over details, Mr. Crosby. 59:02.500 --> 59:08.500 Well, I'm sorry, Miss Bankhead. We were going to present you with the Page One Award for putting new life into radio. 59:08.500 --> 59:21.500 Award? Well, darling, why didn't you say so instead of standing there telling me you're being Crosby's son and he makes you sell newspapers and you with your gallbladder condition? 59:21.500 --> 59:32.500 An award? Well, thank you, darling. Are you on the committee to present me? 59:32.500 --> 59:35.500 All too large to see who would come to please. 59:35.500 --> 59:40.500 Oh, you fellas fighting to see who would come down here to invite me. And you won. 59:40.500 --> 59:43.500 I lost. 59:43.500 --> 59:49.500 Always a critic, aren't you? I'll bet your wife must have a sweet time of it with your criticizing everything around the house. 59:49.500 --> 59:59.500 Say, you know, Tallulah, that's an idea worth investigating. If you'll just sit down over there, John, and take a gallbladder pill, we'll give you our conception of the critic's life at home. 59:59.500 --> 01:00:02.500 We'll call it John's Other Life. 01:00:02.500 --> 01:00:21.500 Well, John, did you enjoy your dinner? 01:00:21.500 --> 01:00:39.500 Well, Mary, speaking in my capacity as a critic, I thought it was a little slow getting started. It kind of dragged through the soup, but it picked up at the end with the pie. Of course, pie for a finish has been done before. It's a good standard finish, but showed very little imagination. 01:00:39.500 --> 01:00:41.500 I thought you enjoyed it, John. What was wrong? 01:00:41.500 --> 01:00:52.500 Well, you could have done better with the sauce for the shrimp cocktail, and I thought the salad could have been done in better taste. But I will say the roast beef was well done. 01:00:52.500 --> 01:00:53.500 Thank you, John. 01:00:53.500 --> 01:01:01.500 Although I don't know how you got away with that one bit. That onion was pretty raw, but the radishes were pretty good. 01:01:01.500 --> 01:01:07.500 We had radishes before. I didn't think you'd mind my repeating them. 01:01:07.500 --> 01:01:10.500 Not if you don't mind mine. 01:01:10.500 --> 01:01:12.500 Well, now I'm anxious to know what you thought of the pie, John. 01:01:12.500 --> 01:01:21.500 I thought really, I thought it was an exciting two minutes that you had there. But didn't you underplay the crust just a little, Mary? 01:01:21.500 --> 01:01:31.500 Why, John, my mother taught me how to make that pie. Mother won every first prize at every counter fair in the state. Everybody for miles around said that mother's pie was the best they ever tasted. 01:01:31.500 --> 01:01:41.500 Nobody could bake a pie like my mother, and I was the only one she ever showed how to make a pie as deliciously as she could make a pie. 01:01:41.500 --> 01:01:57.500 That commercial is a little long, Mary. Well, I guess I'd better get to work. I have to review a mystery show tonight. I guess I'll start out by saying it's a mystery to me how that show ever got on the air. That's pretty funny, isn't it, Mary? 01:01:57.500 --> 01:01:59.500 Oh, didn't you like the show? 01:01:59.500 --> 01:02:09.500 Oh, I haven't, I haven't heard it yet. It starts in a few minutes, but that's what I'll say in my review. It's a mystery to me how that mystery ever got on the air. 01:02:09.500 --> 01:02:12.500 But don't you think you ought to hear it before you review it? 01:02:12.500 --> 01:02:16.500 Are you trying to have me thrown out of the Critics Guild? 01:02:16.500 --> 01:02:20.500 Well, it seems to me if you're going to review a show, you ought to hear it before you knock it. 01:02:20.500 --> 01:02:33.500 Well, suppose I like it. Fine fix, I'll be in then. We're only allowed two good reviews a year. And I want to save those until I see what I get for Christmas. 01:02:33.500 --> 01:02:36.500 Well, I don't care. I want to hear it and I'm going to. 01:02:36.500 --> 01:02:39.500 Oh, Mary, how can I write if you're going to turn that radio on? 01:02:39.500 --> 01:02:41.500 Now, quiet, Don. I want to hear this. 01:02:41.500 --> 01:03:04.500 And so introducing for the first time on your radio, the adventures of Richard Richards, Private Dick. 01:03:04.500 --> 01:03:11.500 My name is Richard Richards. I'm not the fat man. I'm not the thin man. I'm sort of in the middle. 01:03:11.500 --> 01:03:15.500 And every gangster in town is out to eliminate the middle man. 01:03:15.500 --> 01:03:23.500 I was sitting in my office one day eating my lunch when in walked this beautiful blonde with a beautiful belt on her body. 01:03:23.500 --> 01:03:31.500 So I says to her, how do you do, sir? I didn't want her to think I noticed. 01:03:31.500 --> 01:03:33.500 Are you Richard Richards? 01:03:33.500 --> 01:03:34.500 That's right, ladies. 01:03:34.500 --> 01:03:36.500 Well, my husband was killed last night. 01:03:36.500 --> 01:03:38.500 Please, not while I'm eating. 01:03:38.500 --> 01:03:44.500 I want you to find the murder room. You've got to help me, Mr. Richards. The police suspect me. 01:03:44.500 --> 01:03:46.500 Yeah? Where were you last night? 01:03:46.500 --> 01:03:50.500 Well, I had gone to dinner with some friends and after that we went to the theater. 01:03:50.500 --> 01:03:54.500 After the theater we decided to go dancing and everybody had said I looked just like a doll. 01:03:54.500 --> 01:03:57.500 And to tell you the truth, I thought I looked pretty good myself. 01:03:57.500 --> 01:04:00.500 Well, anyway, I got home about half past four and there was my husband dead. 01:04:00.500 --> 01:04:03.500 I told him he should have come with me, but oh no, he had to stay home and get killed. 01:04:03.500 --> 01:04:05.500 Next time he'll know better. 01:04:05.500 --> 01:04:09.500 So when the police began to suspect me, I decided to come here and give you the case. 01:04:09.500 --> 01:04:12.500 So you won't talk, huh? 01:04:12.500 --> 01:04:17.500 Mr. Richards, if you find out who killed my husband, I'll give you $5,000. 01:04:17.500 --> 01:04:24.500 Now you're talking. Tell me, missus. Oh, excuse me, I should say miss, now that your husband was murdered. 01:04:24.500 --> 01:04:27.500 Who do you think would have wanted to kill your husband? 01:04:27.500 --> 01:04:31.500 I don't know. I don't know who would want to kill him. He wouldn't harm a fly. 01:04:31.500 --> 01:04:35.500 Well, that eliminates all the flies. 01:04:35.500 --> 01:04:39.500 Now we can narrow it down to people. Are there any people who might have wanted to kill him? 01:04:39.500 --> 01:04:41.500 Did he have any boyfriends? 01:04:41.500 --> 01:04:42.500 Yes, I had a boyfriend. 01:04:42.500 --> 01:04:43.500 Where's he? 01:04:43.500 --> 01:04:45.500 I killed him. 01:04:45.500 --> 01:04:47.500 Just a minute. One case at a time. 01:04:47.500 --> 01:04:52.500 His brother Joe could have done it. Joe and my husband fought like cats and dogs. 01:04:52.500 --> 01:04:54.500 Well, now we're down to cats and dogs. 01:04:54.500 --> 01:04:56.500 His name was Carlo. 01:04:56.500 --> 01:04:57.500 Your husband? 01:04:57.500 --> 01:05:01.500 No, my husband's name was Marlow. And he said if he caught him out with me, he'd kill him. 01:05:01.500 --> 01:05:02.500 Who? Carlo? 01:05:02.500 --> 01:05:04.500 No, Marlow. 01:05:04.500 --> 01:05:05.500 Oh, oh. 01:05:05.500 --> 01:05:10.500 But what Marlow didn't know was that Carlo was mixed up with a phony racketeer named Harlow, and he was embezzling him. 01:05:10.500 --> 01:05:11.500 Who? Marlow? 01:05:11.500 --> 01:05:13.500 No, Harlow. 01:05:13.500 --> 01:05:14.500 Oh, oh. 01:05:14.500 --> 01:05:20.500 But the strange part of it was that Carlo made a deal with Harlow to run out on Marlow. So he decided to kill him. Understand? 01:05:20.500 --> 01:05:22.500 I'll take a chance. 01:05:22.500 --> 01:05:26.500 Carlo! 01:05:26.500 --> 01:05:28.500 Well, we're getting someplace. 01:05:28.500 --> 01:05:32.500 Now if I can find the murderer, we'll have the case solved. Leave it to me. I'll go out and find him. 01:05:32.500 --> 01:05:35.500 Oh, Mr. Richard, you'd better be careful. He's dangerous. 01:05:35.500 --> 01:05:36.500 Who? Harlow? 01:05:36.500 --> 01:05:37.500 No, Carlo! 01:05:37.500 --> 01:05:39.500 Well, here we go again. 01:05:39.500 --> 01:05:43.500 Okay, I don't care if he's dangerous. I'll take my 38 with me. 01:05:43.500 --> 01:05:48.500 Ten cents there, ten cents back, and eighteen cents for expenses. 01:05:48.500 --> 01:05:52.500 Oh, for heaven's sakes, Mary, I'm going to turn this thing off. 01:05:52.500 --> 01:05:54.500 John, what are you doing? I want to hear that program. 01:05:54.500 --> 01:05:58.500 Well, I've got to review this program. How can I listen to it and review it? 01:05:58.500 --> 01:06:02.500 Well, I want to hear it. I'm tired of you telling me what I can do and what I can't do. 01:06:02.500 --> 01:06:04.500 Mary, I am warning you. 01:06:04.500 --> 01:06:09.500 John, put that gun down. Don't shoot or I'll move. 01:06:09.500 --> 01:06:12.500 Then does it. 01:06:12.500 --> 01:06:20.500 Now, maybe I can get this review written. Let me see. Richard Richards made its bow on radio last night. 01:06:20.500 --> 01:06:26.500 And I must say, I found it very dull. But I will admit, it killed my wife. 01:06:26.500 --> 01:06:44.500 Well, Mr. Cosby, I hope you'll take our little conception of a critic's life at home in the spirit in which it was meant with malice. 01:06:44.500 --> 01:06:46.500 Of course. I understand. 01:06:46.500 --> 01:06:52.500 We all appreciate how hard a critic works to listen to so many shows and give each one an unbiased and objective criticism. 01:06:52.500 --> 01:06:53.500 Thank you, Miss. Thank you. 01:06:53.500 --> 01:06:56.500 Now, by the way, John, are you going to review this show, darling? 01:06:56.500 --> 01:06:57.500 Oh, sure. 01:06:57.500 --> 01:07:00.500 Well, now why don't you sit down and watch the rest of it so you can write a complete review, huh? 01:07:00.500 --> 01:07:05.500 No, no. That won't be necessary. I wrote it yesterday. 01:07:05.500 --> 01:07:11.500 It starts off, the big show this week was given a tremendous lift by the appearance of John Cosby, 01:07:11.500 --> 01:07:17.500 whose ready-wifting charm caused the professionals to appear pale by comparison. 01:07:17.500 --> 01:07:19.500 Thank you, John Cosby. 01:07:19.500 --> 01:07:23.500 And thank you to all the ladies and gentlemen of the New York Press who honored me with the award. 01:07:23.500 --> 01:07:30.500 I'm looking forward to April the 13th and the page one vault at the hotel where I'll meet all you lovely, lovely people. 01:07:30.500 --> 01:07:33.500 Newspaper people, you know, darling. You have to be so nice to them. 01:07:33.500 --> 01:07:36.500 And now I see Mary Wilson, chanting at the bit. 01:07:36.500 --> 01:07:55.500 So here he is with his orchestra chorus to play for the first time anywhere, Joe Bushkin's latest musical composition with words by John DeFee, Other Voices. 01:07:55.500 --> 01:08:12.500 Other voices, other rules, other arms that hold me tight, other music, strangers dancing in the night. 01:08:12.500 --> 01:08:30.500 Other voices, other rules, other perfume fills the air, other midnight just remind me you're not there. 01:08:30.500 --> 01:08:50.500 I like her voice, she's not my choice, but I won't be true, I refuse to get used to anyone but you. 01:08:50.500 --> 01:09:15.500 Only one but you, other marksman, other rules, other pictures in a frame, other voices call me darling still, I keep whispering your name. 01:09:20.500 --> 01:09:44.500 I refuse to get used to anyone but you. 01:09:44.500 --> 01:10:09.500 Only one but you, other marksman, other rules, other pictures in a frame, other voices call me darling still, darling darling darling. 01:10:09.500 --> 01:10:24.500 I keep whispering your name. 01:10:24.500 --> 01:10:29.500 Applause. 01:10:29.500 --> 01:10:45.500 That was Divine Merit, a beautiful arrangement of another colourful tune by Joe Bushkin. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we ask you to go back with us in your imagination to the year 1900, which according to my calculations is about 32 years ago. 01:10:45.500 --> 01:10:59.500 18 is Central Park on a spring afternoon. Three gay young men named Jimmy, Rudy and Fred walk along the park in their straw skimmers and high button shoes. Of course in between they have on coats and trousers. 01:10:59.500 --> 01:11:19.500 Coming merrily from the opposite direction are three devastatingly gorgeous young maidens, Vivian, Jane and Lou. As the gay young men pass the devastatingly gorgeous maidens, they slow down and look back, but being unfettered with a breathing, they do not speak. 01:11:19.500 --> 01:11:29.500 And the three devastatingly gorgeous girls, being prim and proper, pay the young men the slightest heat. 01:11:29.500 --> 01:11:33.500 Slow down girls, this is our fourth time around. 01:11:33.500 --> 01:11:37.500 I don't think we'll find anybody better. And for goodness sake, stop staring at them. 01:11:37.500 --> 01:11:41.500 You're a fine one to talk to, Lula. Your eyes are popping out from staring. 01:11:41.500 --> 01:11:45.500 That's not from staring, Jane. My corsets lace too tight. 01:11:45.500 --> 01:11:48.500 What do we say if they ask to go for a ride on their bicycle? 01:11:48.500 --> 01:11:50.500 No darling, they haven't got a bicycle. 01:11:50.500 --> 01:11:53.500 Why they must have. The one in the middle has a bicycle horn. 01:11:53.500 --> 01:11:58.500 That's no bicycle horn, silly, that is no. 01:11:58.500 --> 01:12:03.500 I like the one in the blue dress with the bustle. I like the one in the pink dress with the bustle. 01:12:03.500 --> 01:12:11.500 Say I like the one in the black dress, and that's no bustle. 01:12:11.500 --> 01:12:19.500 Sheep with a bustle, that would be putting bananas on bananas. 01:12:19.500 --> 01:12:22.500 Boys, boys, boys, let us not be too hasty. 01:12:22.500 --> 01:12:25.500 They may be hussies. 01:12:25.500 --> 01:12:28.500 They look like ponies to me. 01:12:28.500 --> 01:12:30.500 Yes, they may want to suspend money. 01:12:30.500 --> 01:12:34.500 Well, we are loaded, Rudolph. We've got a dollar and a half between us. 01:12:34.500 --> 01:12:39.500 Yes, yes, we're three couples. We'll only be able to take them to Delmonico's for dinner and then to the theater. 01:12:39.500 --> 01:12:44.500 Yes, a dollar and a half doesn't go far these days. 01:12:44.500 --> 01:12:49.500 Well, what can you expect with those Republicans in the White House? 01:12:49.500 --> 01:12:52.500 Rudolph, do you think a Democrat will ever be President? 01:12:52.500 --> 01:12:55.500 Oh, Fred, stop dreaming. 01:12:55.500 --> 01:12:57.500 I wonder what they're talking about. 01:12:57.500 --> 01:13:02.500 From the way they're looking at us, I bet they're not talking politics. 01:13:02.500 --> 01:13:05.500 Look, I think one of them wants to talk to me. 01:13:05.500 --> 01:13:06.500 What makes you think that? 01:13:06.500 --> 01:13:09.500 Well, he's got his arm around me. 01:13:09.500 --> 01:13:11.500 I've seen his picture someplace. 01:13:11.500 --> 01:13:14.500 I always remember that Marcel hand. 01:13:14.500 --> 01:13:15.500 Did I see it in the papers, Jane? 01:13:15.500 --> 01:13:20.500 I saw it too. I think it was on a stereoptic and slide. 01:13:20.500 --> 01:13:23.500 No, I saw it. It was in the post office. 01:13:23.500 --> 01:13:26.500 He's a slicker. He looks to me like he's been up the river. 01:13:26.500 --> 01:13:30.500 A small timer like that, he's only been up the creek. 01:13:30.500 --> 01:13:32.500 Which one of us is going to drop the handkerchief? 01:13:32.500 --> 01:13:36.500 Oh, not me. I got my nickel car fare tied up in it. 01:13:36.500 --> 01:13:39.500 Tallulah, Tallulah, did you bring along any mad money? 01:13:39.500 --> 01:13:42.500 I never get mad, though. 01:13:42.500 --> 01:13:45.500 How long are we going to stand here looking indifferent? 01:13:45.500 --> 01:13:47.500 I promised Mama I'd be home at four. 01:13:47.500 --> 01:13:50.500 Well, I promised Mama I'd be home at five. 01:13:50.500 --> 01:13:53.500 I promised my husband I'd be home at six. 01:13:53.500 --> 01:14:03.500 Tallulah, here they come. Look, single. 01:14:03.500 --> 01:14:08.500 Tell me, pretty maiden, are there any more at home like you? 01:14:08.500 --> 01:14:12.500 Well, few consents. 01:14:12.500 --> 01:14:15.500 But simple girls and proper too. 01:14:15.500 --> 01:14:20.500 Then tell me, pretty maiden, what these very simple girlies do? 01:14:20.500 --> 01:14:26.500 Kind sir, their manners are perfection and the opposite of mine. 01:14:26.500 --> 01:14:33.500 Then take a little walk with me and then I can see what a most particular girl should be. 01:14:33.500 --> 01:14:39.500 I may love you well, but let you go and flirt with those at home who know. 01:14:39.500 --> 01:14:46.500 So, my little girl, you see, I only want but you. 01:14:46.500 --> 01:14:52.500 Not quite bended, if you told them that you were true. 01:14:52.500 --> 01:14:55.500 I won't care a pint for your sisters if you love me. 01:14:55.500 --> 01:14:58.500 What would you say if I said I liked you well? 01:14:58.500 --> 01:15:01.500 I bow to you. 01:15:01.500 --> 01:15:03.500 Unbended knees. 01:15:03.500 --> 01:15:04.500 Unbended knees. 01:15:04.500 --> 01:15:09.500 If I love you, would you tell me what I ought to do? 01:15:09.500 --> 01:15:16.500 I keep you all mine alone and always be true to you. 01:15:16.500 --> 01:15:22.500 If I love you, would it be a silly thing to do? 01:15:22.500 --> 01:15:25.500 For I must love someone. 01:15:25.500 --> 01:15:28.500 Then why not me? 01:15:28.500 --> 01:15:35.500 Yes, I must love someone really and it might well be you. 01:15:35.500 --> 01:15:44.500 Oh, do you want an encore, darlings? How about it? 01:15:44.500 --> 01:15:46.500 Okay, men. 01:15:46.500 --> 01:15:51.500 Hey, boys, get up right. 01:15:51.500 --> 01:15:59.500 Oh, tell me, Tristee, maidens are there any more at home like you? 01:15:59.500 --> 01:16:02.500 There are a few kinds, sir. 01:16:02.500 --> 01:16:05.500 But simple girls and proper too. 01:16:05.500 --> 01:16:10.500 Then tell me, Tristee, maidens, what these very simple girlies do. 01:16:10.500 --> 01:16:16.500 Kind sir, their manners are perfection and the opposite of mine. 01:16:16.500 --> 01:16:23.500 Then take a little walk with me and then I can see what a most particular girl should be. 01:16:23.500 --> 01:16:29.500 I may love too well, too well, if you go and flirt with those at home you know. 01:16:29.500 --> 01:16:36.500 Well, don't mind, little girl, you see I only want but you. 01:16:36.500 --> 01:16:42.500 It's not wise, tell them, if you told them that you were true. 01:16:42.500 --> 01:16:44.500 I wouldn't care a pin for your sisters if you loved me. 01:16:44.500 --> 01:16:47.500 What would you say if I said I liked you well? 01:16:47.500 --> 01:16:50.500 I bow to you. 01:16:50.500 --> 01:16:52.500 Unbended knee. 01:16:52.500 --> 01:16:54.500 Unbended knee. 01:16:54.500 --> 01:16:59.500 If I love you, would you tell me what all to do? 01:16:59.500 --> 01:17:06.500 I'd keep you all mine alone and always be true to you. 01:17:06.500 --> 01:17:11.500 If I love you, would it be a silly thing to do? 01:17:11.500 --> 01:17:15.500 For I must love someone. 01:17:15.500 --> 01:17:17.500 And why doubt me? 01:17:17.500 --> 01:17:24.500 Yes, I must love someone really as it might well be you. 01:17:24.500 --> 01:17:34.500 Applause. 01:17:34.500 --> 01:17:39.500 And now, Tallulah, it is time for all of us on the big show to welcome a very distinguished guest 01:17:39.500 --> 01:17:45.500 who, despite suffering the effects of a severe cold, has been kind enough to be with us here tonight. 01:17:45.500 --> 01:17:48.500 We are indeed honored by the presence of that distinguished American, 01:17:48.500 --> 01:17:54.500 officer of the United Nations, winner of the Nobel Prize for his efforts in behalf of the cause of peace, 01:17:54.500 --> 01:17:56.500 Dr. Ralph Bunch. 01:17:56.500 --> 01:18:04.500 Applause. 01:18:04.500 --> 01:18:06.500 Thank you very much, Mr. Allen. 01:18:06.500 --> 01:18:10.500 Ms. Bankhead, I have long been one of your great admirers. 01:18:10.500 --> 01:18:12.500 For your artistry, of course. 01:18:12.500 --> 01:18:19.500 But even more so because of your well-earned reputation for believing in and practicing democracy. 01:18:19.500 --> 01:18:24.500 I am delighted at this opportunity to meet you on this great program. 01:18:24.500 --> 01:18:31.500 Incidentally, all of your friends and admirers will be happy to know that at town hall tomorrow night, 01:18:31.500 --> 01:18:35.500 on behalf of the George Washington Carver Memorial Institute, 01:18:35.500 --> 01:18:42.500 you are to be presented with the award of merit and honorary fellowship for your outstanding contributions 01:18:42.500 --> 01:18:50.500 to the theater, to the arts and sciences, to human welfare, and to good Americanism. 01:18:50.500 --> 01:18:54.500 That's good news and something fully deserved. 01:18:54.500 --> 01:18:57.500 You believe in people, Ms. Bankhead. 01:18:57.500 --> 01:19:02.500 And as you know, that is the guiding light of the United Nations. 01:19:02.500 --> 01:19:09.500 Belief in people of all kinds, in their desire and need for peace and freedom, 01:19:09.500 --> 01:19:15.500 in their progressive well-being, in applied democracy. 01:19:15.500 --> 01:19:20.500 I feel sure, Ms. Bankhead, that all who believe in the American governmental system 01:19:20.500 --> 01:19:27.500 and in the American way of life will be happy to join me in congratulating you 01:19:27.500 --> 01:19:34.500 on the new and signal honor which will be presented to you tomorrow night at town hall. 01:19:34.500 --> 01:19:43.500 Thank you. Thank you, Dr. Bunch, from the bottom of my heart. 01:19:43.500 --> 01:19:46.500 I am deeply touched and profoundly grateful to you. 01:19:46.500 --> 01:19:50.500 And now, ladies and gentlemen, next Sunday we have another cast of the big name to show business. 01:19:50.500 --> 01:19:55.500 Eddie Arnold, Eddie Cantor, Phil Foster, Tommy Henry, Martha Ray, and others. 01:19:55.500 --> 01:19:59.500 And, of course, our very own Meredith Wilson and the Big Show Occupant Chorus. 01:19:59.500 --> 01:20:07.500 Until then, may the good Lord bless and keep you, whether near or far away. 01:20:07.500 --> 01:20:08.500 Live long. 01:20:08.500 --> 01:20:17.500 May you find that long-awaited golden day today, Fred. 01:20:17.500 --> 01:20:26.500 May your troubles all be small ones and your fortune ten times ten, Jimmy. 01:20:26.500 --> 01:20:34.500 May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again in Portland. 01:20:34.500 --> 01:20:42.500 May you walk with sunlight shining and a bluebird in an angry tree. 01:20:42.500 --> 01:20:43.500 Meredith. 01:20:43.500 --> 01:20:52.500 May there be a silver lining back of every cloud you see, Jane. 01:20:52.500 --> 01:21:00.500 In your dreams with sweet tomorrows, never mind what might have been. 01:21:00.500 --> 01:21:01.500 Will you march on? 01:21:01.500 --> 01:21:12.500 May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again. 01:21:12.500 --> 01:21:22.500 May you long recall each rainbow, then you'll soon forget the rain. 01:21:22.500 --> 01:21:31.500 May the warm and tender memories be the ones that will remain. 01:21:31.500 --> 01:21:41.500 In your dreams with sweet tomorrows, never mind what might have been. 01:21:41.500 --> 01:21:49.500 May the good Lord bless and keep you until we meet again. 01:21:49.500 --> 01:22:04.500 May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet, till we meet again. 01:22:04.500 --> 01:22:11.500 Good night, darlings, and God speed to our armed forces all over the world who hear these broadcasts each week. 01:22:11.500 --> 01:22:28.500 The Big Show is produced and directed by Dee Engelbach and written by Goodman Ace, Selma Diamond, George Foster, Mort Green, and Frank Wilson. 01:22:28.500 --> 01:22:38.500 This is Ed Hurley, he's speaking. 01:22:38.500 --> 01:22:59.500 Later here at the Inter Guild, now at Phil Harris and Alice Bay on NBC.