WEBVTT

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You are about to be entertained by some of the biggest names in show business.

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For the next hour and 30 minutes this program will present in person such

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bright stars as Milton Berle, Rosemary Clooney, Jimmy Larrani, Frank Lovejoy,

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Gordon MacRae, Ethel Merman, Meredith Wilson, and my name darlings is Tallulah

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Bankett. The National Broadcasting Company presents The Big Show. The Big Show, 90

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minutes with the most scintillating personalities in the entertainment world.

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Brought to you this Sunday and every Sunday at the same time as the Sunday

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feature of NBC's All-Star Festival. And here is your hostess, the glamorous,

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unpredictable Tallulah Bankett.

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Well darlings, yesterday the producer of this show told me that I had been

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mistreating our guest stars, that I was insulting, belligerent, rough and tough.

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Well I've come to the conclusion that he's right and I'm gonna tell him so

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when he gets out of the hospital. From now on I know what I'll do. Every time I

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find myself losing my temper I'll remember this little motto, one two think

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it through, three four don't get sore, five six never mix, seven eight

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hesitate, nine ten friends again. Isn't that sweet? I found it on the back of a

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box of the largest oatmeal flakes I've ever eaten. But you just noticed how it

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works as I introduce our first box of oats. I mean our first guest Ethel Merman.

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Ladies and gentlemen, it is with the greatest of pleasure that I now present

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that lovely, charming, gracious first lady of musical comedy herself. Well

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Ethel get it over here. Who me? I said Ethel Merman.

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Was that you saying all those nice things about me? That's right darling.

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Well cut it out. Well because then I'll have to say nice things about you and

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I'm not that good an actress. One two think it through, three four don't get sore.

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Why I can't hear you, what's the matter with you? Oh Ethel I'm fine, I'm all sweetness

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and light. Now let's not start in a quarrel shall we darling? Can't we just

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chat without bickering about who's a better actress or who's older than who?

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That's okay with me. I don't like to bring up the age question. Good. How are

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you doing in your wonderful musical comedy? Call me grandmother. I mean call

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me madam. Celula you're starting. I'm sorry darling I didn't mean that. Please

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forgive me. Okay and just to show you there's no hard feelings I want to tell

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you how much I admire that gown you're wearing. Where'd you get it? This? Oh Ethel

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it's just an old sack. I think it's very attractive. Oh well that's sweet darling but it's just an old sack.

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All right where'd you get that old sack? One two think it through. This old sack as you call it

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cost me $750. Well potatoes are rather high aren't they? Three four don't get sore.

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I see they left some of the potatoes in the sack. Those are not potatoes.

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One two kick her with your shoe. Three four throw her on the floor. Now look here Ethel

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can't we be civil to each other? Must we have a war? Here comes that civil war bit

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again. Five six hit her with bricks. Civil war indeed Ethel I am spying between

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clenched teeth. Excuse me I should have said the war between the plates. Seven

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eight mention her weight. Nine ten a big fat hen. Okay that does it. Step aside

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buster. I tried heaven knows I tried didn't I try darling? Didn't I try? Thank

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you darlings and now my pet I'm really gonna let you have it. Now you listen to

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me Ethel if you think you're going to well anytime you think that I what were

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we arguing about darling? I don't know the minute I walked out here you started

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calling me names. Lovely charming gracious. Is that a way to introduce me?

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Nobody have accused me of being lovely charming and gracious. What do you think

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you're introducing Mary Martin? This is Ethel Merman. All right darling drag it back to

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your chair and we'll start all over again. Ladies and gentlemen I would like

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to introduce you this time the first lady of our sitter Miss Ethel Barrymore.

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But since Miss Barrymore wouldn't work for that kind of money here's Miss Ethel

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Merman. How's that Ethel? 10-11 go to heaven. What's your song baby? It's a song

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Irving Berlin wrote and which he says was inspired by your last show on

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Broadway. Oh really what's the song? There's No Business. 1819. What's that?

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Nothing 1819 that's the year you introduced There's No Business like Show

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Business. Sing it don't you darling? There's no business like show business

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like no business I know. Everything about it is appealing. Everything that traffic

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will allow. Nowhere could you get that happy feeling when you are stealing that extra

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bow. There's no people like show people. They smile when they are low. Yesterday

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they told you you would not go far. That night you opened and there you are. Next day on your dressing room they punged a star. Let's go on with the show.

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The costumes, the scenery, the makeup, the props, the audience that lifts you when you're down. The headaches, the heartaches, the backaches, the flops, the sheriff who will scotch you out of town. The opening when your heart beats like a drum. The closing when the customers don't come.

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There's no business like show business like no business I know. You get word before the show has started that your favorite uncle died and gone. And top of that your grandma has hearted. You're broken hearted but you go on.

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There's no people like show people. They smile when they are low. Even with a turkey that you know will fold. You may be stranded out in the cold. Still you wouldn't change it for a sack of gold. Let's go on with the show.

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Let's go on with the show.

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Applause

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Thank you Annie, get your gun. And if anybody else wants to take a shot, what are you waiting for?

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Just a minute, Toulouse. Is that a nice thing to say?

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Now you stay out of this Jimmy Durante.

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Applause

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Toulouse, I'm ashamed of you. This is a great singer this little mermaid. Now tell her you're sorry.

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Alright Jimmy, I'm sorry. She's a great singer.

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Wait a minute, something was lost in the translation.

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Jimmy, it's sweet of you to try to patch this up but I know what's eating her. She's jealous and I want you to go over there and tell her I said so. Go on and tell her. Go on.

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Way over there? Yes, go over and tell her I said she's jealous.

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Okay, I go.

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That's what it says to tell you you're jealous. Jealous, ha! Go over and ask her jealous of what?

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Okay.

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She says jealous, ha! Jealous of what?

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Jealous of my singing, that's what. And you can tell her I bought her records and I could never listen to a full record. It's a waste of shellac. Tell her that.

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Okay.

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I should have got paid on this show by the mile.

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Toulouse, she said she heard you sing and you're full of shellac.

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Well, you can tell her on my behalf that I find her outburst of temperament a nauseating, revolting display of public exhibitionism.

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Okay, this one may take a little longer but I'll keep you in touch.

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I should have worn my track shoes.

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Toulouse says to tell her...

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Toulouse says to tell on her behalf that she finds her outburst of temperament a revolting nauseating, disgusting.

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She didn't say disgusting, I just threw that one in.

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It's something I picked up on the travels back and forth.

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Well, you can tell her for me, oh yeah.

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Just oh yeah? You're allowed ten words for the same money.

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I'll tell her myself, oh yeah.

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That certainly is a clever retort. Oh yeah, I went out with high button shoes.

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Well, you ought to know.

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Just a minute, just a minute. What are you trying to do, eliminate the middle man?

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Come on, girls, how about making up and being friends?

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Jimmy, darling, Ethel and I are friends.

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Sure, Toulouse is one of my best friends.

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That's friends? Then how about making up and being enemies?

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You know, of course, Ethel, I was just joking about your being jealous.

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Oh, sure, and I was just joking about your being jealous.

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And I was only joking about your temperament.

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And I was only joking about yours.

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And naturally, I was only joking about your voice.

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Well, I think I'll go sit down.

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Well, I tried. Every week it's a battle. Meredith, how's that per music queue?

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Meredith Wilson, the Big Show Orchestra and Chorus, and Joshua, fix the Battle of Jericho.

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If you can.

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The walls come coming down.

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You may talk about the King of Giants.

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Yeah.

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You may talk about the Man of Salt.

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Yeah.

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There's none like good old Joshua at the Battle of Jericho.

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Up up to the walls of Jericho he march with a spear in hand.

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So blow them ram horns, Joshua cries, cause the battle ended in my hand.

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Then the land ram sheep horn begin to blow, the trumpet begins to sound.

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The last hook of manners until the shout, and the walls tum tum tum tum.

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That morning Joshua hit the Battle of Jericho, Jericho, Jericho.

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Joshua hit the Battle of Jericho.

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The walls come a-tangling, the walls come a-tangling, The walls come a-tangling, The walls come a-tangling now.

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Joshua hit the Battle of Jericho.

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That was Divine Meredith.

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Tonight on the big show, we are privileged to hear a portion of a truly great new Warner

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Brothers picture starring Frank Lovejoy.

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Here for the first time on the screen is an exciting expose of the subversive plotting

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and conspiracy by the Communist Party to destroy a great American city, Pittsburgh, USA.

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The title of this hard-hitting picture is, I Was a Communist for the FBI, the story of

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Matt Sivetic, a steelworker of Pittsburgh, whose nine bitter years as an undercover agent

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for his country was told in the Saturday Evening Post.

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We are proud to present in the role of Matt Sivetic, Frank Lovejoy in I Was a Communist

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for the FBI.

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A short time before the Communist leaders went on trial in New York before Judge Medina,

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the Pittsburgh officers of the Federal Bureau of Investigation were advised that Gerhard

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Eisler, Communist big shot of the United States, had arrived in Pittsburgh on an important mission.

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Almost immediately too, 38-year-old Matt Sivetic is alerted by his commie boss in Pittsburgh.

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Sivetic, I've been called to a meeting at Gerhard Eisler's hotel.

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I'll call you later if I have a chance.

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I don't know how much more of this a man can take.

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My brothers won't speak to me.

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My own son looks at me as if I was something that lived under a rock.

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And my mother, God help her, thinks I'm a traitor too.

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How would you like to leave your own mother's birthday party and go out on a mission like

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this?

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I'll get it.

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Well, Matt, come right in.

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Hiya, Blanton.

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Hiya, gentlemen.

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Wow, this is some layout.

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Look at that table.

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Champagne, huh?

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Caviar, roast turkeys, the works.

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You better get used to it, Matt.

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This is the way we'll all live when we take over the country.

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The workers too?

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The workers will still be the workers.

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Trouble with you, Matt, you're too much of a fanatic.

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Who is a fanatic?

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Sivetic, Mr. Eisler, Matt Sivetic.

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It's good to meet a fanatic now and then, but at the same time, we must be realistic.

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Here, try this champagne, Matt.

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It's nice stuff.

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To come at Stalin.

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I've heard some good things about you, Mr. Sivetic.

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Your parents are Slovenian, I believe.

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Yes, sir.

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According to reports, you've brought hundreds of your Pittsburgh nationals into the party.

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Now, Matt works in the personnel department in North American Steel.

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He does a lot of the hiring and firing.

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Hiring of party members and firing of nonmembers.

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I understand.

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That's excellent.

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Try some of this caviar, Sivetic.

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Russian caviar.

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The national committee has decided to reward you, Sivetic.

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Peters has been transferred, and you will take his place as chief party organizer for

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the district of Pittsburgh.

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Thank you, Mr. Eisler.

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I feel it's a great honor.

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But that means you must work harder than ever.

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This section produces more steel than all the rest of the country put together.

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Move Pittsburgh an inch, and we can move this country a mile.

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But Pittsburgh is too quiet, too peaceful.

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To bring about the victory of communism in America, we must incite discontent, riots,

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and open warfare among the people.

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That's the purpose of tonight's special meeting, was Blandon's idea.

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A lovely thought.

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To the Soviet Union.

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That's the way you do it, it's very simple, and a lovely thought.

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Arrange wildcat strikes, bring in murderous goons to break heads and spill blood, incite

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riots, set race against race, creed against creed, destroy a great city.

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That's the way you do it.

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We fought back from inside, but it's not easy.

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You stay in the dark, a lonely hunted thing, knowing no friend, no companionship, no ties

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of home, no moments of peace and contentment with those you love.

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No, a rat lives with nothing but fear and watchfulness and the smell of death always

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near.

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No, it's not easy, not when your own folks are involved.

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Now when you're called in by the principal of the school your kid attends and told that

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there's something wrong with him, and he's trying to lick every other kid in the place.

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Who was the girl who brought us into this room, son?

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Miss Merrick, my teacher.

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Oh, Miss Merrick, she seemed nice.

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Yeah, she's wonderful.

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Regular.

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She seemed to know you.

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Really?

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Look, Dick, what's eating you?

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Why have you been trying to lick every kid around here?

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You know why.

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Because they say you're a lousy red.

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And I hit them.

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Look, son, dad, I haven't seen much of you since I went to live at Granny's house.

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When I ask her about you, tears come into her eyes.

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She starts talking about something else.

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I'm no dope, but I know what people say.

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Still, I wouldn't believe it.

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Look, dad, it's time you and I had a showdown.

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I want to hear it from you.

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What are you going to do, Dick?

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Tell me how to think you're a little young for that.

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I'm close to draft age.

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Guys as young as I am will have to go out and fight this thing they say you're mixed up...

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Now, wait a minute.

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Wait a minute.

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If you think I'm going to let you criticize my political beliefs...

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Dad, don't give me that line.

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Tell me the truth.

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Are you red or not?

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All right, I'll tell you the truth.

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I'm a member of the Communist Party, and I have been for nine years.

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When I was a kid, about nine or ten, I used to tell myself I wanted to grow up to be like

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my dad.

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Before I do that, now I drop dead.

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Now, wait a minute, son.

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Keep your hands off me.

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Don't ever come near me again.

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No wonder Eve Merrick seemed to know me.

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She was a card-carrying party member and a teacher in a Pittsburgh school.

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She was more than that.

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She was important to me as a person.

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When my own son turned against me, I felt I'd had enough.

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I wanted to get out.

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I decided to go to the FBI and resign.

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Hello, Matt.

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Look, sir, I've about had it.

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I've had nine lousy years of it.

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You know, when the day is over, you guys have a home to go to and people who are happy to

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see you.

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I've got nothing and I've got nobody.

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I don't think I can take any more.

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I know.

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You've done a great job for your country, Matt.

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Maybe you won't have to wait much longer.

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But if you do leave, we'll do everything we can for you, of course.

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But you know, when a red plant goes sour, we have to deny you.

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Otherwise, we'd endanger all the others who are working as you're working inside the Communist

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Party.

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Yeah.

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Now, let's have the details on the Eve Merrick business last night.

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You had my report.

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You know, she was a card-carrying commie working as a schoolteacher that she got sweet on you.

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Ah, yes.

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She moved right into my heart.

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She was ordered to do that so she could watch me as a spy for the party.

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But she didn't turn you in.

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No, and she could have.

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She found out about me.

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She decided to work with me instead of against me.

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What about that business last night?

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The commies got suspicious of her, tried to liquidate her.

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He gave himself away.

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I got her out and I killed the two comrades they sent after her, but she's safe now.

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I thought you were going to give her protection last night.

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I tried, Matt.

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Our man was found murdered this morning in her room.

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Oh.

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Ah, look.

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I want to go on living in a place where you can holler out loud and print if you want to,

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and where the secret police won't be knocking on your door at 4 a.m.

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That sounds corny.

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Not to me.

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All right, you forget what I said about it before.

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Now, there's a big party meeting at the Lake Hotel.

22:04.800 --> 22:06.240
I'll get a microphone planted there.

22:06.240 --> 22:07.400
You better get stuff to record.

22:07.400 --> 22:08.400
Good boy.

22:08.400 --> 22:09.400
We'll keep an eye on you two.

22:09.400 --> 22:10.400
Lock.

22:10.400 --> 22:11.400
Thank you.

22:11.400 --> 22:25.400
I didn't know it then, but that meeting was the last I was ever to attend as a communist

22:25.400 --> 22:27.840
for the FBI.

22:27.840 --> 22:32.240
The comrades were in fine voice, and thanks to the microphone on the wall, the FBI next

22:32.240 --> 22:35.040
door were in fine ear.

22:35.040 --> 22:40.160
Comrades, I don't think I need to tell you that the Un-American Activities Committee

22:40.160 --> 22:42.600
is becoming a danger to us.

22:42.600 --> 22:47.880
The hearings that it's conducting in Washington are bad counter-propaganda.

22:47.880 --> 22:51.960
Moscow has ordered a nationwide campaign, and you division leaders of the Pittsburgh

22:51.960 --> 22:54.920
branch are to pass this on to your members.

22:54.920 --> 22:59.560
All communists are to spread the word that the Un-American Activities Committee is a

22:59.560 --> 23:04.800
group of fat-headed politicians whose only aim is to crash the headlines.

23:04.800 --> 23:07.880
We want them laughed at, ridiculed.

23:07.880 --> 23:12.600
If we start the ball rolling, there are plenty of big mouth suckers in this country who'll

23:12.600 --> 23:13.600
do the rest.

23:13.600 --> 23:18.600
Svedik, we want to see you in here.

23:18.600 --> 23:19.600
Yeah, sure, really.

23:19.600 --> 23:20.600
Now, what's on your mind?

23:20.600 --> 23:29.080
Two of our comrades were killed last night while acting under my orders.

23:29.080 --> 23:33.080
Also, Svedik, why was there an FBI man planted in Eve's place?

23:33.080 --> 23:34.600
Find anything on him to prove he was FBI?

23:34.600 --> 23:36.800
No, but what else could he be?

23:36.800 --> 23:40.880
Listen, if you knew that Merrick Dame had a chance to save her skin and you let her

23:40.880 --> 23:43.260
get away with it, you're a traitor.

23:43.260 --> 23:44.760
You know what happens to traitors?

23:44.760 --> 23:47.400
Trotsky thought he was safe, but they got him.

23:47.400 --> 23:51.840
Jan Masaryk was dropped out of a window in Prague, and they called it suicide.

23:51.840 --> 23:54.240
General Kravitzky was found dead in a Washington hotel.

23:54.240 --> 23:56.600
They call that suicide too.

23:56.600 --> 23:59.960
These are comrades who made one slip and paid for it with their lives.

23:59.960 --> 24:02.920
I slipped up once, but I can't take a chance with you.

24:02.920 --> 24:03.920
Come on, talk.

24:03.920 --> 24:05.600
You're crazy, Blanton.

24:05.600 --> 24:06.600
Work come over, boys.

24:06.600 --> 24:07.600
You've got goons off me.

24:07.600 --> 24:14.600
Okay, boys, beat it out of them.

24:14.600 --> 24:15.600
What's the matter, comrades?

24:15.600 --> 24:17.320
Don't you commies get along together?

24:17.320 --> 24:18.320
Who are you?

24:18.320 --> 24:20.600
Lieutenant Cahill Homicide.

24:20.600 --> 24:22.120
Which one of you is Matt Svedik?

24:22.120 --> 24:23.120
I am.

24:23.120 --> 24:25.960
You're under arrest for suspicion of murder.

24:25.960 --> 24:27.480
Well, who did I kill?

24:27.480 --> 24:30.280
James Broderick, an agent of the FBI.

24:30.280 --> 24:32.880
His fingerprints are all over the place.

24:32.880 --> 24:41.000
Come on, Svedik.

24:41.000 --> 24:45.200
And that is a dramatic foretaste of what is in store for you when you go to see Warner

24:45.200 --> 25:12.640
Brothers' great picture, I was a communist for the FBI.

25:12.640 --> 25:16.200
I'd love joy and company, our thanks and congratulations.

25:16.200 --> 25:18.440
Thank you very much, Tallulah.

25:18.440 --> 25:22.960
I deem it an honor to play the role of Matt Svedik.

25:22.960 --> 25:26.880
Certainly brought home to me the patriotic devotion and the sheer guts that Matt needed

25:26.880 --> 25:29.160
to take that nine-year beating.

25:29.160 --> 25:30.880
There was a job to be done.

25:30.880 --> 25:32.240
Someone had to do it, Frank.

25:32.240 --> 25:45.600
This is Matt Svedik.

25:45.600 --> 25:47.440
I think you do a great job in the picture, Frank.

25:47.440 --> 25:50.040
Well, you're the guy who did the great job, Matt, believe me.

25:50.040 --> 25:53.960
Well, Frank, maybe you'd better wait until the job is done before we start taking vows.

25:53.960 --> 25:56.000
The job is far from finished.

25:56.000 --> 26:01.320
We're just beginning to fight back against a deadly, ruthless, highly organized Soviet-controlled

26:01.320 --> 26:02.320
conspiracy.

26:02.320 --> 26:06.200
So, if we've got a lot of fighting yet to do before we can rid ourselves of this greatest

26:06.200 --> 26:12.240
threat to the world of free men, we've got to fight, all of us, all the time.

26:12.240 --> 26:15.240
Amen to that, Matt Svedik.

26:15.240 --> 26:20.240
Good fighter, good American.

26:20.240 --> 26:33.760
Good fighter, good American.

26:33.760 --> 26:53.240
Good fighter, good American.

26:53.240 --> 27:07.800
Good fighter, good American.

27:07.800 --> 27:25.400
Good fighter, good American.

27:25.400 --> 27:40.960
Good fighter, good American.

27:40.960 --> 28:05.800
Good fighter, good American.

28:05.800 --> 28:09.080
You have been listening to Meredith Wilson and his big show, Officer.

28:09.080 --> 28:12.880
And now, darlings, it's about time for me to ring my chimes before we continue with the

28:12.880 --> 28:13.880
show.

28:13.880 --> 28:15.480
Just a minute, I ring the chimes around here.

28:15.480 --> 28:16.480
Who are you?

28:16.480 --> 28:19.480
Milton Berle.

28:19.480 --> 28:26.040
Well, Uncle Milton.

28:26.040 --> 28:29.280
Well, Aunt Jemima.

28:29.280 --> 28:31.320
Aunt Jemima?

28:31.320 --> 28:33.760
Excuse me, the pancake maker fooled me.

28:33.760 --> 28:36.840
I expect there's fix-up actors.

28:36.840 --> 28:39.760
What is this bit, Toulou, about you ringing the chimes?

28:39.760 --> 28:43.160
Don't you know I just signed a 30-year contract around here, and this is now known as the

28:43.160 --> 28:45.200
National Berle Casting Company.

28:45.200 --> 28:47.840
And Berle rings the chimes.

28:47.840 --> 28:50.480
It is broadcasting, and I ring the chimes.

28:50.480 --> 28:52.480
Okay, broad, ring the chimes.

28:52.480 --> 28:55.440
We'll be back in just a moment.

28:55.440 --> 29:21.760
This is NBC, the national broad casting company.

29:21.760 --> 29:23.160
The big show.

29:23.160 --> 29:27.320
This is the national broadcasting company, Sunday Extravaganza, with the most scintillating

29:27.320 --> 29:29.440
personalities in show business.

29:29.440 --> 29:34.760
The big show, the Sunday night feature of NBC's All-Star Festival, is brought to you by famous

29:34.760 --> 29:40.000
Canon Towels, the towels that give you the most for your money in beauty value, lovely

29:40.000 --> 29:41.800
color and design.

29:41.800 --> 29:46.800
By Chesterfield, the only cigarette that gives you mildness plus no unpleasant aftertaste.

29:46.800 --> 29:49.440
The cigarette that brings you Bing Crosby and Bob Hope.

29:49.440 --> 29:53.840
By the makers of Anison, for fast relief from the pain of headache, Neuritis and Uralgia.

29:53.840 --> 29:58.680
And by RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television.

29:58.680 --> 30:03.840
The big stars in this program are Milton Berle, Rosemary Clooney, Jimmy Durante, Frank Lovejoy,

30:03.840 --> 30:08.720
Gordon MacRae, Ethel Merman, Meredith Wilson, and the big show orchestra and chorus.

30:08.720 --> 30:28.640
And every week, your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable, Tallulah Bankhead.

30:28.640 --> 30:31.600
Well darlings, this has been a most hectic week.

30:31.600 --> 30:33.560
Look at the size of this audience.

30:33.560 --> 30:34.560
Quiet.

30:34.560 --> 30:37.280
As I was saying, this has been a most hectic week.

30:37.280 --> 30:40.920
If you think this is a big audience, you should see my mother's living room on Tuesday nights.

30:40.920 --> 30:46.640
A few weeks ago, somebody gave me a little puppy and I've had the most hectic time with

30:46.640 --> 30:47.640
her.

30:47.640 --> 30:48.640
Radio.

30:48.640 --> 30:49.640
I haven't been on radio since hectic was her pup.

30:49.640 --> 30:55.240
She's the cutest little dog, but I've had the most terrible time breaking her in.

30:55.240 --> 30:56.240
What a house.

30:56.240 --> 30:58.800
And she's the friskest little thing.

30:58.800 --> 31:02.440
All these people still listening to radio, what a spot for a television salesman.

31:02.440 --> 31:08.320
I've never saw such beautiful brown eyes and the most cunning ears and the most adorable

31:08.320 --> 31:09.320
mouth.

31:09.320 --> 31:10.320
Oh, you finally noticed me.

31:10.320 --> 31:11.320
And the longest tail.

31:11.320 --> 31:12.320
I thought I had that tucked in.

31:12.320 --> 31:13.320
Oh, what's the use of continuing with this?

31:13.320 --> 31:14.320
Ladies and gentlemen, here he is, one of our greatest comedians, Mr. Television himself,

31:14.320 --> 31:15.320
Bob Hope.

31:15.320 --> 31:16.320
Bob Hope.

31:16.320 --> 31:17.320
Bob Hope.

31:17.320 --> 31:18.320
Bob Hope.

31:18.320 --> 31:19.320
Bob Hope.

31:19.320 --> 31:20.320
Bob Hope.

31:20.320 --> 31:21.320
Bob Hope.

31:21.320 --> 31:22.320
Bob Hope.

31:22.320 --> 31:23.320
Bob Hope.

31:23.320 --> 31:24.320
Bob Hope.

31:24.320 --> 31:25.320
Bob Hope.

31:25.320 --> 31:26.320
Bob Hope.

31:26.320 --> 31:27.320
Bob Hope.

31:27.320 --> 31:28.320
Bob Hope.

31:28.320 --> 31:29.320
Bob Hope.

31:29.320 --> 31:30.320
Bob Hope.

31:30.320 --> 31:31.320
Bob Hope.

31:31.320 --> 31:32.320
Bob Hope.

31:32.320 --> 31:33.320
Bob Hope.

31:33.320 --> 31:34.320
Bob Hope.

31:34.320 --> 31:35.320
Bob Hope.

31:35.320 --> 31:37.460
Well, boy, you sound like Etsy O'Pinsey.

31:37.460 --> 31:38.680
What's with this Hope routine?

31:38.680 --> 31:39.680
The name is Burrow.

31:39.680 --> 31:41.560
Well, you get all your stuff from Hope.

31:41.560 --> 31:43.380
I thought I'd go right to the source.

31:43.380 --> 31:47.520
I suppose you don't use any Hope's jokes on this program?

31:47.520 --> 31:48.920
Absolutely not.

31:48.920 --> 31:51.100
You won't find a Hope joke on this show.

31:51.100 --> 31:52.100
That's what I hear.

31:52.100 --> 31:53.100
There's no hope for the show.

31:53.100 --> 31:54.900
And I've heard that joke before.

31:54.900 --> 31:57.200
You heard it before anybody.

31:57.200 --> 32:02.300
Milton, you have to take everybody's jokes.

32:02.300 --> 32:04.400
Haven't you heard Shakespeare's wonderful line?

32:04.400 --> 32:06.800
He who steals my purse steals trash.

32:06.800 --> 32:08.700
Well, it's your show, you ought to know.

32:08.700 --> 32:11.740
But I can quote a little Shakespeare myself

32:11.740 --> 32:13.240
to lull about the jokes that you steal.

32:13.240 --> 32:15.880
Ah, isn't he sweet?

32:15.880 --> 32:18.340
Sweet, files 364, sweet.

32:18.340 --> 32:20.340
Romeo and Juliet, act two, scene one.

32:20.340 --> 32:22.140
That which we call a rose by any other name

32:22.140 --> 32:23.880
would smell as sweet.

32:23.880 --> 32:24.980
Romeo and Juliet, act two.

32:24.980 --> 32:26.060
Parting is such sweet sorrow

32:26.060 --> 32:28.180
that I shall say good night till tomorrow.

32:28.180 --> 32:29.860
Till it be morrow.

32:29.860 --> 32:30.820
Do you want to hear more?

32:30.820 --> 32:32.820
I would rather die.

32:32.820 --> 32:35.900
Die, file 396.

32:35.900 --> 32:37.500
Julia Caesar, act two.

32:37.500 --> 32:39.500
Cowards die many times before their deaths.

32:39.500 --> 32:41.900
The valiant never taste of death at once.

32:41.900 --> 32:43.300
The tempest, act one.

32:43.300 --> 32:45.500
That'll be enough of that, Mr. Burle.

32:45.500 --> 32:48.340
Base, King Henry VI, act five.

32:48.340 --> 32:51.220
Of all base passions, fear is the most accursed.

32:51.220 --> 32:53.380
Milton, you really surprised me.

32:53.380 --> 32:54.880
You are.

32:54.880 --> 32:56.980
I didn't know you were such a student of Shakespeare.

32:56.980 --> 32:58.380
Are you kidding, Tilo?

32:58.380 --> 32:59.820
I can quote every line of every play

32:59.820 --> 33:01.080
Shakespeare wrote.

33:01.080 --> 33:03.020
If you say I steal jokes from Bob Hope,

33:03.020 --> 33:05.420
I can show you where you steal jokes from Bob Shakespeare.

33:05.420 --> 33:06.360
Bob Shakespeare?

33:06.360 --> 33:08.600
What radio show is he on?

33:08.600 --> 33:10.200
Caesar and Imogene Coca.

33:10.200 --> 33:13.100
King Henry the Aldrich.

33:13.100 --> 33:15.540
And he doesn't work on this program,

33:15.540 --> 33:18.540
The Taming of the Big Shrew.

33:18.540 --> 33:21.540
You say nothing of your program, Comedy of Arrows.

33:21.540 --> 33:24.540
Well, that's a very good joke.

33:24.540 --> 33:29.020
That's funny, but I already used it.

33:29.020 --> 33:30.020
When?

33:30.020 --> 33:31.020
Next Tuesday night.

33:31.020 --> 33:34.020
Milton Burle, that stealing comedian.

33:34.020 --> 33:35.020
That says Sterling.

33:35.020 --> 33:37.020
Will you read that right?

33:37.020 --> 33:39.020
Don't start ad libbing, Tilo,

33:39.020 --> 33:42.020
because I'm one of the best ad lib comedies in the business.

33:42.020 --> 33:44.020
Don't go away.

33:44.020 --> 33:45.020
Really, I am.

33:45.020 --> 33:48.040
Let's face it, I am the best ad lib comedian in the business.

33:48.040 --> 33:51.040
Don't you mean ad libs?

33:51.040 --> 33:52.040
Ad libs.

33:52.040 --> 33:53.040
Nothing.

33:53.040 --> 33:55.040
Wait a minute, that lady in the orchestra,

33:55.040 --> 33:57.040
will you please come back and take it, you coward?

33:57.040 --> 33:58.040
Don't walk out now, please.

33:58.040 --> 33:59.040
What are you leaving for?

33:59.040 --> 34:00.040
Take you an hour to get out of here.

34:00.040 --> 34:03.040
Sit down and leave at the end of the show when everybody's asleep.

34:03.040 --> 34:05.060
Now, where were we?

34:05.060 --> 34:06.060
What was I stealing?

34:06.060 --> 34:07.060
I mean, what was I saying?

34:07.060 --> 34:08.060
I don't know, darling.

34:08.060 --> 34:11.060
We were talking, but you weren't saying anything.

34:11.060 --> 34:13.060
And besides, Milton, on the big show,

34:13.060 --> 34:16.060
we try to keep to what is considered good stage department.

34:16.060 --> 34:19.060
We don't suddenly start conversations with the audience.

34:19.060 --> 34:20.060
We don't have to.

34:20.060 --> 34:22.060
We feel there is already between the performer and the audience

34:22.060 --> 34:24.080
a certain rapport.

34:24.080 --> 34:25.080
Rapport?

34:25.080 --> 34:26.080
Is he in the audience?

34:26.080 --> 34:28.080
I knew him when his name was Rapport.

34:28.080 --> 34:32.080
He used to own the Polly C branch in the Bronx.

34:32.080 --> 34:33.080
I remember that.

34:33.080 --> 34:36.080
He used to sell Indian nights on Interven...

34:36.080 --> 34:37.080
Milton.

34:37.080 --> 34:38.080
Where is that man?

34:38.080 --> 34:40.080
Milton, darling, I don't know whether...

34:40.080 --> 34:42.080
It's good we're laughing at them.

34:42.080 --> 34:43.080
Go ahead.

34:43.080 --> 34:46.100
I don't know whether it's your influence or not,

34:46.100 --> 34:48.100
or whether it's just or coincidental.

34:48.100 --> 34:49.100
Yeah.

34:49.100 --> 34:53.100
But there seems to be a lady in the fourth row flicking a chicken.

34:53.100 --> 34:56.100
Isn't that awful?

34:56.100 --> 34:58.100
Mother, will you please stop, please?

34:58.100 --> 35:00.100
I keep telling you, Tallulah, but she won't say,

35:00.100 --> 35:02.120
Mother, stop, but you know I don't like you to do that.

35:02.120 --> 35:03.120
Besides, I like duck.

35:03.120 --> 35:04.120
Now you know that.

35:04.120 --> 35:05.120
Now please.

35:05.120 --> 35:08.120
I seem to get the impression that I've been all through this before.

35:08.120 --> 35:10.120
Something I saw in a bad dream.

35:10.120 --> 35:12.120
By the way, Tallulah, did you ever watch my television show?

35:12.120 --> 35:14.120
That was the bad dream.

35:14.120 --> 35:16.120
Oh, it's going to be like that, huh?

35:16.120 --> 35:18.120
Okay, if that's the way you want it, fasten your safety belt.

35:18.120 --> 35:20.120
I heard you talking with Merman, but this is different.

35:20.120 --> 35:22.120
Tallulah, you're looking pretty good.

35:22.120 --> 35:24.120
You take your ugly pill this morning?

35:24.120 --> 35:26.140
All right, let's start.

35:26.140 --> 35:27.140
You wear that dress.

35:27.140 --> 35:29.140
Don't care what anybody says.

35:29.140 --> 35:30.140
Glad you're wearing your hair that way.

35:30.140 --> 35:32.140
In fact, I'm glad you're wearing your hair.

35:32.140 --> 35:34.140
What's that, a snood?

35:34.140 --> 35:36.140
From the back, you look like you're traveling for a mackerel.

35:36.140 --> 35:38.140
From the front, you look like you caught one.

35:38.140 --> 35:40.140
Had enough?

35:40.140 --> 35:42.140
Didn't I see your face on a bottle of iodine?

35:42.140 --> 35:44.140
Let's go over to the house some night.

35:44.140 --> 35:46.140
We'll open a gas jet.

35:46.140 --> 35:48.160
You look like five miles of bad road.

35:48.160 --> 35:50.160
You look like a professional blind date.

35:50.160 --> 35:52.160
Yeah.

35:52.160 --> 35:54.160
I look like Maxi Rosenblum's uncle.

35:54.160 --> 35:56.160
Have you had enough?

35:56.160 --> 35:58.160
Yes, I've had enough.

35:58.160 --> 36:00.160
I've had enough.

36:00.160 --> 36:02.160
I recognize a dozen comedians in those two jokes.

36:02.160 --> 36:04.160
How can you remember all those?

36:04.160 --> 36:06.160
Well, Tallulah, I have a photographic memory.

36:06.160 --> 36:08.160
My mind is like a lens that opens and shuts.

36:08.160 --> 36:10.180
What a practical use for a hole in the head.

36:10.180 --> 36:15.180
It's very funny.

36:15.180 --> 36:17.180
Very funny.

36:17.180 --> 36:19.180
One more appearance on this show, and I have a whole new act.

36:19.180 --> 36:21.180
I must give you credit for one thing.

36:21.180 --> 36:23.180
What's that?

36:23.180 --> 36:25.180
You certainly wangled a wonderful contract out of NBC.

36:25.180 --> 36:27.180
A 30-year contract.

36:27.180 --> 36:29.200
Well, that means you can retire when you're about 70.

36:29.200 --> 36:31.200
That's right, Tallulah.

36:31.200 --> 36:33.200
How about you, Tallulah?

36:33.200 --> 36:35.200
If you sign a contract like that, you could retire when you're...

36:35.200 --> 36:37.200
Watch it, Buster.

36:37.200 --> 36:39.200
How old...

36:39.200 --> 36:41.200
Pardon me, not old.

36:41.200 --> 36:43.200
How young are you now, Tallulah?

36:43.200 --> 36:45.200
31.

36:45.200 --> 36:47.200
31.

36:47.200 --> 36:53.220
31. Well, the way you're figuring it, you can retire when you're one year old.

36:53.220 --> 36:56.220
I swear I'll kill him.

36:56.220 --> 37:00.220
I swear I'll kill you a million times.

37:00.220 --> 37:02.220
I swear I'll kill you.

37:02.220 --> 37:04.220
Oh, I feel so jazzed.

37:04.220 --> 37:06.220
Now, wait a minute, Tallulah. Wait a minute.

37:06.220 --> 37:08.220
Tallulah, stop it.

37:08.220 --> 37:10.220
Please.

37:10.220 --> 37:12.220
Now, who's stealing from who?

37:12.220 --> 37:14.220
Now you know how it feels.

37:14.220 --> 37:17.240
All right.

37:16.920 --> 37:21.740
Here is your très-Harry.

37:30.220 --> 37:32.500
That, darlings, is Ed Halley's cue for some big news pretty

37:33.000 --> 37:35.000
of interest to every woman in America.

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Now, right now is the time to buy famous cannon towels.

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Tremendous values, all of them.

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Get to your store tomorrow and get in on these great money-saving cannon values.

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As summer approaches, you always need more towels.

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38:19.360 --> 38:25.040
No wonder more people buy cannon towels than all other towels combined.

38:25.040 --> 38:27.360
Be sure you'll get the most for your money.

38:27.360 --> 38:29.280
Get cannon towels.

38:29.280 --> 38:32.440
See your newspaper for special cannon towel sales.

38:32.440 --> 38:50.680
Get to your store now and get in on the big, big, big cannon values.

38:50.680 --> 38:53.640
Well, we seem to have a new sponsor with us this week.

38:53.640 --> 38:58.200
If this doesn't get me a raise, I'm ready to throw in the towel.

38:58.200 --> 39:00.040
Cannon, of course.

39:00.040 --> 39:03.480
And girls, they are just lovely to answer the phone in.

39:03.480 --> 39:07.880
Everybody in the candy store compliments me.

39:07.880 --> 39:09.480
I wish I'd have said it and I will.

39:09.480 --> 39:12.520
Tallulah, I don't like to point out anything like that,

39:12.520 --> 39:15.640
but you notice that I'm on the show one week and you have another sponsor.

39:15.640 --> 39:17.640
Bang! Cannon.

39:17.640 --> 39:19.160
What a sponsor, towels.

39:19.160 --> 39:21.560
You know, I had an uncle who was a traveling salesman,

39:21.560 --> 39:25.320
lived to be 85 and when he died, he left in the state of 900 towels.

39:25.320 --> 39:26.920
They were all personally monogrammed.

39:26.920 --> 39:28.920
Good old Uncle Sherry.

39:28.920 --> 39:29.560
Uncle Sherry?

39:29.560 --> 39:30.840
Yeah, Uncle Sherry Netherlands.

39:30.840 --> 39:31.800
Lovely.

39:31.800 --> 39:33.160
Of course, that was his name in New York.

39:33.160 --> 39:36.600
When he went to Miami Beach, he gave himself a new title, Lord Tolton.

39:38.840 --> 39:41.800
Now, Milton, Milton, let me get on with the rest of the show.

39:41.800 --> 39:44.520
Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to meet our next guest,

39:44.520 --> 39:47.640
a bright new singing star, lovely Miss Rosemary Clooney.

39:56.360 --> 39:57.240
Thank you, Tallulah.

39:57.240 --> 39:58.840
Milton, this is Rosemary Clooney.

39:58.840 --> 40:00.840
How do you...

40:01.480 --> 40:02.840
Tell me, Rose.

40:02.840 --> 40:04.840
Oh, my...

40:07.240 --> 40:10.440
Rosemary, you don't mind me if I call you Rosemary, do you?

40:10.440 --> 40:12.840
Well, I don't think I know you well enough for that.

40:12.840 --> 40:14.760
Well, all right. Tell me, Miss Clooney.

40:15.800 --> 40:17.800
Circle 51099.

40:19.720 --> 40:21.640
Circle 51099.

40:21.640 --> 40:22.760
Just a minute, Milton.

40:22.760 --> 40:24.440
Please, I don't know you well enough for that.

40:24.440 --> 40:27.480
All right, just a minute, Miss Burl.

40:30.280 --> 40:30.780
Yes, sir.

40:32.600 --> 40:35.400
Now, look here. I didn't bring you on this show to date up our guests.

40:35.400 --> 40:37.880
I take care of all the dating around here myself.

40:37.880 --> 40:40.120
Now, what's your phone number? I may call you next week.

40:40.120 --> 40:42.200
Circle 51099.

40:42.200 --> 40:43.000
Circle...

40:43.000 --> 40:44.280
By that's Rosemary's number.

40:44.280 --> 40:45.480
Where do you think I'm going to be?

40:47.160 --> 40:49.880
Rosemary, would you mind singing your song, darling? What's it going to be?

40:49.880 --> 40:51.160
Taking a Chance on Love.

40:51.160 --> 40:53.160
That's the story of Burl's life. Sing it, sweet.

40:53.160 --> 40:55.160
Marry me, please.

41:23.160 --> 41:31.160
They're dealing you a new high today

41:31.160 --> 41:33.160
Oh

41:34.520 --> 41:36.520
Here I go again

41:37.640 --> 41:40.520
I hear those trumpets blow again

41:42.280 --> 41:44.280
All aglow again

41:45.480 --> 41:47.480
Taking a chance on love

41:47.480 --> 41:52.680
Love here I slide again

41:53.800 --> 41:56.600
About to take that ride again

41:58.520 --> 42:00.520
Starry-eyed again

42:01.720 --> 42:03.720
Taking a chance on love

42:05.240 --> 42:08.360
I thought the cards were a frame up

42:09.240 --> 42:12.040
I never would try

42:13.240 --> 42:16.520
But now I'm taking the game up

42:16.520 --> 42:20.520
And the ace of heights is high

42:22.520 --> 42:24.520
Things are mending now

42:26.520 --> 42:28.520
I see a rainbow blending now

42:30.520 --> 42:32.520
We'll have our happy ending now

42:34.520 --> 42:36.520
Taking a chance on love

42:40.520 --> 42:42.520
I thought the cards were a frame up

42:42.520 --> 42:44.520
I never would try

42:46.520 --> 42:48.520
But now I'm taking the game up

42:50.520 --> 42:52.520
And the ace of hearts is high

42:56.520 --> 42:58.520
Things are mending now

43:00.520 --> 43:02.520
I see a rainbow blending now

43:04.520 --> 43:06.520
We'll have our happy ending now

43:06.520 --> 43:08.520
Taking a chance on love

43:08.520 --> 43:32.520
Taking a chance on love

43:38.520 --> 43:40.520
Thank you.

44:08.520 --> 44:10.520
Thank you.

44:38.520 --> 44:42.520
By Chesterfield, Chesterfield, the one that brews its case

44:42.520 --> 44:46.520
Yes, Chesterfield's are milder, milder, plus no aftertaste

44:46.520 --> 44:49.520
So ho, open the pack and give them a sniff

44:49.520 --> 44:51.520
Then you'll smoke them

44:58.520 --> 45:02.520
And now, darlings, we want to thank Warner Brothers, producers of Captain Horatia Hornblower

45:02.520 --> 45:06.520
who have sent us one of their handsome stars, a fine singer and accomplished actor

45:06.520 --> 45:09.520
the star of his own radio show, The Railroad Hour

45:09.520 --> 45:12.520
and if you'll give me a moment, I'll think of his name

45:12.520 --> 45:14.520
Gordon MacRae, darling

45:14.520 --> 45:16.520
Oh, yes

45:23.520 --> 45:26.520
Well, Gordon, I haven't seen you since you were on our show in Hollywood

45:26.520 --> 45:28.520
Welcome back to New York

45:28.520 --> 45:31.520
Well, thank you, Tallulah. You know, New York is really home to me

45:31.520 --> 45:32.520
Oh?

45:32.520 --> 45:34.520
I got started right here in New York

45:34.520 --> 45:37.520
As a matter of fact, I was a pageboy right here at NBC

45:37.520 --> 45:39.520
You were a pageboy?

45:39.520 --> 45:42.520
No, no, no, Tallulah, I was a pageboy

45:42.520 --> 45:45.520
Oh, excuse me, darling. Were you really a pageboy?

45:45.520 --> 45:50.520
I certainly was. As a matter of fact, we had quite a group of pageboys when I was here, Tallulah

45:50.520 --> 45:53.520
Dave Garroway was a pageboy during that time

45:53.520 --> 45:55.520
That was ten years ago, you know

45:55.520 --> 46:00.520
Let's see, there was Garroway, Dick Hames, Paul Rittenhouse, Gregory Peck

46:00.520 --> 46:01.520
Really?

46:01.520 --> 46:02.520
Mm-hmm

46:02.520 --> 46:05.520
Well, what do you know? Whatever happened to those fellows?

46:06.520 --> 46:12.520
I don't know, Tallulah. I lost track of most of them, but one of them, Paul Rittenhouse, is doing very well

46:12.520 --> 46:15.520
He's a floorwalker and an A.M.P.

46:15.520 --> 46:21.520
As a matter of fact, Tallulah, Dee Engelbach, your producer and director of this show, was a page when I was on the staff here

46:21.520 --> 46:24.520
And when I get through with him, darling, he will be again

46:24.520 --> 46:28.520
Well, now how about you, Gordon, who went a long way starting as a pageboy?

46:28.520 --> 46:32.520
I certainly did. I became chief guide of the tours

46:32.520 --> 46:37.520
You know, Tallulah, I used to take people through NBC and those tours they have, and well, I'd give them a little spiel

46:37.520 --> 46:39.520
Oh, really? Well, what sort of a spiel?

46:39.520 --> 46:43.520
Well, let's see, it was ten years ago and it went something like this

46:43.520 --> 46:51.520
Now, ladies and gentlemen, I'm about to take you on a tour with the broadcasting studios and other points of interest in Radio City

46:51.520 --> 46:54.520
I must ask you all to stay in one little group and follow me

46:54.520 --> 46:58.520
Uh, little boy, you'd better hold on to your mother's hand

46:58.520 --> 47:01.520
I want to hold on to my mommy's hand

47:02.520 --> 47:03.520
Why not?

47:03.520 --> 47:05.520
Because she's married, that's why

47:06.520 --> 47:08.520
Madam, is this your little boy?

47:08.520 --> 47:09.520
Yeah, what about it?

47:09.520 --> 47:12.520
Please hold his hand, he might get lost

47:12.520 --> 47:14.520
Are you kidding? That's why I brought him here

47:16.520 --> 47:19.520
I want to see Uncle Milky. Where's Uncle Milky?

47:19.520 --> 47:21.520
Daddy, I want to see Uncle Milky

47:21.520 --> 47:25.520
If you don't stop saying them dirty words, I'll wash your mouth with Texaco

47:28.520 --> 47:33.520
Mmm, good, mmm, good. That's what Texaco gas is. Mmm, good

47:34.520 --> 47:37.520
All right now, all right people, follow me into the studio

47:37.520 --> 47:39.520
We're on our way to see some of the sites

47:39.520 --> 47:42.520
Now, there's a site if I ever saw one

47:42.520 --> 47:45.520
Madam, I beg your pardon, that's Tallulah Bankhead

47:47.520 --> 47:48.520
Who's he?

47:48.520 --> 47:50.520
No, no sir, that's Miss Tallulah Bankhead

47:50.520 --> 47:53.520
And she's rehearsing a new show that she's starting

47:53.520 --> 47:56.520
I want to see, I want to see Uncle Milky

47:56.520 --> 47:57.520
Junior, will you shut up?

47:57.520 --> 47:59.520
Where's Uncle Milky, mommy?

47:59.520 --> 48:02.520
Jimmy, he's your son, make him shut up

48:02.520 --> 48:05.520
I told you to stop talking like that, now I'm going to let you have it

48:08.520 --> 48:11.520
Not in the nose, Jimmy, look what happened to you

48:11.520 --> 48:14.520
Not in the nose, Jimmy, look what happened to you

48:17.520 --> 48:21.520
Look what he said to me, mommy, now I'm going to need a nose job

48:21.520 --> 48:25.520
Quiet, what's going on there? Can't you see that I'm in the middle of a rehearsal?

48:25.520 --> 48:29.520
I'm sorry Miss Bankhead, I'm just showing this group through the studios

48:29.520 --> 48:31.520
They wanted to see what you were doing

48:31.520 --> 48:35.520
Well, I'm just starting in radio, it's a new show called The Little Show

48:35.520 --> 48:38.520
Five minutes for some of the biggest names in show business

48:38.520 --> 48:44.520
Only five minutes Miss Bankhead, how can you present the biggest names in show business in five minutes?

48:44.520 --> 48:46.520
Well, so far I only present our names

48:46.520 --> 48:52.520
Someday I hope to have a program, who knows, maybe in ten years this may wake up to an hour and a half

48:52.520 --> 48:55.520
Is that Uncle Milky, mommy? Shut up!

48:55.520 --> 48:58.520
That is, that's Uncle Milky

48:58.520 --> 49:01.520
Hello Uncle Milky

49:02.520 --> 49:04.520
Get your sweaty paws off me

49:04.520 --> 49:05.520
Uncle Milky

49:08.520 --> 49:10.520
Don't you talk to my kid like that

49:10.520 --> 49:12.520
If this was my child, madam

49:12.520 --> 49:14.520
And don't call me madam

49:18.520 --> 49:20.520
One and two, think it through

49:20.520 --> 49:22.520
Okay folks, let's get on with the tour

49:22.520 --> 49:27.520
No, no, I want to stay here with Uncle Milky

49:27.520 --> 49:31.520
I like Uncle Milky, you like me, Uncle Milky?

49:31.520 --> 49:36.520
I love you, and I am not your Uncle Milky

49:36.520 --> 49:41.520
Yes you are Uncle Milky, you're just wearing that funny dress to fool me

49:41.520 --> 49:47.520
You always wear those funny dresses, if you take off that costume you'll look just like Uncle Milky

49:48.520 --> 49:49.520
Wanna bet?

49:54.520 --> 49:58.520
Can I please have your autograph Uncle Milky, can I have your autograph please?

49:58.520 --> 49:59.520
Can I Uncle Milky?

49:59.520 --> 50:01.520
How would you like a shot in the head?

50:01.520 --> 50:04.520
That's clever, how would you like a shot in the head?

50:04.520 --> 50:08.520
I must remember that for when I grow up later, but I might forget it

50:08.520 --> 50:10.520
Wanna bet?

50:11.520 --> 50:13.520
Why don't you give the kid your autograph?

50:13.520 --> 50:15.520
How would he like it, in blood?

50:15.520 --> 50:17.520
Yes, preferably yours

50:17.520 --> 50:22.520
Alright, alright, I'll give everybody an autograph, my secretary will do it, now come here Eve

50:22.520 --> 50:24.520
Yes Miss Bankhead, what's all this about?

50:24.520 --> 50:29.520
Eve, and she doesn't know what it's all about?

50:30.520 --> 50:32.520
Three four, don't get sore

50:32.520 --> 50:36.520
Eve, is that young man coming yet? You know, the one who's gonna sing on the program?

50:36.520 --> 50:38.520
Oh no, he called up and said he had a bad cold

50:38.520 --> 50:42.520
What, and we go on the air in five minutes? Whatever will we do?

50:42.520 --> 50:47.520
I sing Miss Bankhead, please give me this chance to make good, let me sing in his place

50:47.520 --> 50:50.520
Alright boy, this is your chance, you can sing

50:50.520 --> 50:54.520
Oh mommy, what a corny plot

50:54.520 --> 50:55.520
Shut up

50:55.520 --> 50:59.520
I told you we shouldn't have brought him here, next thing you know he'll be wanting to go to the

50:59.520 --> 51:00.520
I wanna go to the

51:00.520 --> 51:03.520
You see, what did I tell you?

51:03.520 --> 51:05.520
Hey boy, where is the

51:05.520 --> 51:07.520
I don't know where it is on this floor sir

51:07.520 --> 51:08.520
It's straight down the hall into the right

51:08.520 --> 51:12.520
What do you know, this is Uncle Miltry

51:14.520 --> 51:16.520
Come on son, I'll get you a drink of water

51:16.520 --> 51:17.520
Thank you daddy, thank you

51:17.520 --> 51:22.520
Alright boy, this is your chance, sing Begin the Begin

51:34.520 --> 51:40.520
When they begin the begin

51:40.520 --> 51:46.520
It brings back the sound of music so tender

51:46.520 --> 51:53.520
It brings back a night of tropical splendor

51:53.520 --> 52:00.520
It brings back a memory evergreen

52:00.520 --> 52:07.520
I'm with you once more under the stars

52:07.520 --> 52:13.520
Down by the shore an orchestra's playing

52:13.520 --> 52:20.520
And even the palms seem to be swaying

52:20.520 --> 52:27.520
When they begin the begin

52:27.520 --> 52:34.520
To live it again is past all and never

52:34.520 --> 52:40.520
Except when that tune clutches my heart

52:40.520 --> 52:46.520
And there we are, swearing to love forever

52:46.520 --> 52:54.520
And promising never, never to part

52:54.520 --> 53:01.520
What moments divine, what raptures dream

53:01.520 --> 53:08.520
The clouds came along to disperse the joys we had tasted

53:08.520 --> 53:15.520
Now when I hear people curse the chance that was wasted

53:15.520 --> 53:21.520
I know but too well what they mean

53:21.520 --> 53:28.520
So don't let them begin the begin

53:28.520 --> 53:35.520
Let the love that was once a fiery maiden emerge

53:35.520 --> 53:43.520
Let it sleep like the dead desire I only remember

53:43.520 --> 53:49.520
When they begin the begin

53:49.520 --> 53:56.520
Oh yes, let them begin the begin, make them play

53:56.520 --> 54:06.520
Till the stars that were there before return above you

54:06.520 --> 54:13.520
Till you whisper to me once more, darling I love you

54:13.520 --> 54:20.520
And we suddenly know what heaven we're in

54:20.520 --> 54:27.520
When they begin the begin

54:27.520 --> 54:53.520
When they begin the begin

54:58.520 --> 55:01.520
We have a lot more show for you in just a moment

55:01.520 --> 55:04.520
But first let me take a second or two to ring my chimes

55:04.520 --> 55:27.520
This, darlings, is NBC, the national broadcasting company.

55:34.520 --> 55:43.520
This is the big show, and here is Tallulah Baghead.

55:43.520 --> 55:45.520
Well, darlings, we continue with the, um...

55:45.520 --> 55:48.520
Just a minute, Tullulah, I've got a complaint.

55:48.520 --> 55:49.520
What's the trouble, Jimmy?

55:49.520 --> 55:50.520
I'll tell you what's the trouble.

55:50.520 --> 55:52.520
You've got me playing Milton Boyle's father.

55:52.520 --> 55:56.520
He's preprosperous, incongruous, and abdominal.

55:56.520 --> 56:00.520
Abdominal? You mean abominable.

56:00.520 --> 56:03.520
Abdominal, I can't stomach it.

56:03.520 --> 56:07.520
Well, what would you rather play, darling, Milton Boyle's mother?

56:07.520 --> 56:10.520
I can't play her, I can't flick a chicken.

56:10.520 --> 56:15.520
Yes, Jimmy, I guess you are better just playing your own darling self.

56:15.520 --> 56:16.520
Where's the future in that?

56:16.520 --> 56:19.520
There's so many other people who can imitate Durrani better than I can.

56:19.520 --> 56:23.520
Then what do you want to do, Jimmy, play something suave?

56:23.520 --> 56:24.520
Then why not?

56:24.520 --> 56:27.520
I'm one of the biggest suaves in the business.

56:27.520 --> 56:29.520
Everybody does imitations.

56:29.520 --> 56:31.520
I can do some imitations myself.

56:31.520 --> 56:33.520
Listen to me do Ronald Coleman.

56:33.520 --> 56:40.520
It is a far, far better thing that I do than I did if I did it.

56:40.520 --> 56:41.520
Which I don't.

56:41.520 --> 56:45.520
Then I would if I could if I were king, but I can't.

56:45.520 --> 56:48.520
Because the queen won't let me.

56:48.520 --> 56:50.520
How is that, Tullulah?

56:50.520 --> 56:52.520
That sounds like Jimmy Durrani.

56:52.520 --> 56:53.520
How do you like that?

56:53.520 --> 56:55.520
Now Ronald Coleman's doing Durrani.

56:55.520 --> 56:58.520
But Jimmy, why do you want to do something different?

56:58.520 --> 57:02.520
We love you, you are sweet, simple, untutored.

57:02.520 --> 57:03.520
Untutored?

57:03.520 --> 57:06.520
I could get pretty sore if I knew what that meant.

57:06.520 --> 57:08.520
You got me all wrong, Tullulah.

57:08.520 --> 57:11.520
I got culture, I got class, I got a library card.

57:11.520 --> 57:14.520
And besides, I'm a patron of the arts.

57:14.520 --> 57:17.520
That's a cue.

57:17.520 --> 57:22.520
Now, seeking my favorite diversion last night, a night at the opera,

57:22.520 --> 57:25.520
I steps into my plush-up Walton Hanson.

57:25.520 --> 57:28.520
With my two footmen commanding the poop deck,

57:28.520 --> 57:31.520
and my Arabian skeets going in a gentle trot,

57:31.520 --> 57:34.520
we approaches the Metropolitan Opera House.

57:34.520 --> 57:35.520
And what happens?

57:35.520 --> 57:37.520
The red carpet is rolled out.

57:37.520 --> 57:39.520
My two footmen descend from the poop deck.

57:39.520 --> 57:44.520
They open the door and I steps out.

57:44.520 --> 57:51.520
Looking up from the gutter I set, who told you to remove the running board?

57:51.520 --> 57:56.520
Picking myself up and ignoring the stairs of the Hoyt Balloon.

57:56.520 --> 57:59.520
I mix my entrance galloply into the diamond horseshoe,

57:59.520 --> 58:04.520
removing my top hat, my nylon gloves, my skunk muffler,

58:04.520 --> 58:09.520
and my pat-leather goulashes with the neon button.

58:09.520 --> 58:13.520
I look around, Mrs. Vance Caller is whispering to Mrs. Murray Hill.

58:13.520 --> 58:18.520
Mrs. Murray Hill is whispering to Mrs. Susquehanna, and what are they saying?

58:18.520 --> 58:20.520
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

58:20.520 --> 58:25.520
Is it Superman? No, they shouted it's a bum.

58:25.520 --> 58:31.520
You see, a vicious moon has been circulating just because I work in a saloon.

58:31.520 --> 58:34.520
They say I'm not fit to mingle in any other circle.

58:34.520 --> 58:38.520
That's ridiculous. Night clubs are just a Mr. Hyde part of me.

58:38.520 --> 58:40.520
You have yet to meet the Dr. J.

58:40.520 --> 58:48.520
Dr. Ranney, the patron of the arts, an opera critic, and a man of parts.

58:48.520 --> 58:51.520
By last week I went to the opera. I loved it.

58:51.520 --> 58:53.520
All but one scene.

58:53.520 --> 58:57.520
That's where the 350-pound soprano sings to the baritone.

58:57.520 --> 59:01.520
She sings, take me in your arms and hold me close.

59:01.520 --> 59:07.520
Where to hold a close-dub bum would have to be curved like a banana.

59:07.520 --> 59:10.520
Those opera lovers all rave at Handel's Lago.

59:10.520 --> 59:14.520
Why, I've heard better music written by Umbriago.

59:14.520 --> 59:18.520
Now, what I say may sound absurd, but believe me, it's true.

59:18.520 --> 59:21.520
I've seen every opera, and I'll name them for you.

59:21.520 --> 59:28.520
Tales of the Vienna Rolls, Madam Buttermilk, and a sextet from Leachie Nuts.

59:28.520 --> 59:36.520
I hope to praners and tenors in their parts, cause I'm Dr. Ranney, the patron of the arts.

59:36.520 --> 59:41.520
Now, just the other day, they held a meeting at the Metropolitan in the cellar.

59:41.520 --> 59:44.520
They said, Jimmy, we're in a hole, you gotta help us out.

59:44.520 --> 59:49.520
Stepping up on a soapbox, left over from La Boheme.

59:49.520 --> 59:51.520
I said, gentlemen, let's analyze this.

59:51.520 --> 59:56.520
Now, take Romeo and Juliet. Romeo wants to kiss Juliet.

59:56.520 --> 59:59.520
But does he say, slip me a smack, sister?

59:59.520 --> 01:00:04.520
No. He says, I will give you a kiss, my love.

01:00:04.520 --> 01:00:08.520
A burning kiss upon the lips. A burning kiss, a burning kiss.

01:00:08.520 --> 01:00:11.520
A kiss, a kiss, a kiss, a kiss, a kiss, a kiss, a kiss, a kiss.

01:00:11.520 --> 01:00:13.520
A burning kiss upon the lips.

01:00:13.520 --> 01:00:18.520
By the time the guy's ready to kiss her, the fire is out.

01:00:18.520 --> 01:00:21.520
That guy's making a federal case out of us.

01:00:21.520 --> 01:00:24.520
Facing a committee, I said there's only one way to save the opera.

01:00:24.520 --> 01:00:28.520
Now, get yourself new lyrics, that are clever and new.

01:00:28.520 --> 01:00:32.520
Like bibbity-bobbity, bibbity-bobbity, bibbity-bobbity boo.

01:00:32.520 --> 01:00:35.520
They all gave thanks from the bottom of their hearts.

01:00:35.520 --> 01:00:38.520
To Durante, the patron of the arts.

01:00:38.520 --> 01:00:42.520
Yes, sir, Durante, the patron of the arts.

01:00:42.520 --> 01:00:45.520
The arts.

01:01:02.520 --> 01:01:05.520
No matter what you now take for headache relief,

01:01:05.520 --> 01:01:09.520
we urge you to try Anisone for the incredibly fast relief these tablets bring

01:01:09.520 --> 01:01:11.520
the next time you're suffering from a headache.

01:01:11.520 --> 01:01:16.520
Now, the reason Anisone is so wonderfully fast-acting and effective is this.

01:01:16.520 --> 01:01:18.520
Anisone is like a doctor's prescription.

01:01:18.520 --> 01:01:22.520
That is, Anisone contains not just one, but a combination of medically proven

01:01:22.520 --> 01:01:26.520
active ingredients in easy-to-take tablet form.

01:01:26.520 --> 01:01:29.520
Thousands of people have received envelopes containing Anisone tablets

01:01:29.520 --> 01:01:33.520
from their own dentist or physician, and in this way discovered the incredibly

01:01:33.520 --> 01:01:38.520
fast relief Anisone brings from pains of headache, neuritis, or neuralgia.

01:01:38.520 --> 01:01:43.520
So the next time a headache strikes, take Anisone for this wonderfully fast relief.

01:01:43.520 --> 01:01:46.520
Anisone, A-N-A-C-I-N.

01:01:46.520 --> 01:01:50.520
Anisone at any drug counter in handy boxes of 12 and 30,

01:01:50.520 --> 01:01:54.520
economical family-sized bottles of 50 and 100.

01:01:54.520 --> 01:01:58.520
Now, here is a man who has a 30-year contract with NBC,

01:01:58.520 --> 01:02:02.520
and he's got 30-year-old jokes to match, Milton Berle.

01:02:02.520 --> 01:02:06.520
Thank you. Thank you.

01:02:06.520 --> 01:02:09.520
Please, not too much applause. This is an old building.

01:02:09.520 --> 01:02:12.520
Isn't that Tallulah wonderful? Isn't she really wonderful?

01:02:12.520 --> 01:02:14.520
She's got a great sense of humor.

01:02:14.520 --> 01:02:16.520
She's got a great sense of humor.

01:02:16.520 --> 01:02:18.520
She's got a great sense of humor.

01:02:18.520 --> 01:02:20.520
She's got a great sense of humor.

01:02:20.520 --> 01:02:22.520
She's got a great sense of humor.

01:02:22.520 --> 01:02:25.520
Isn't that Tallulah wonderful? Isn't she really wonderful? Tell her to it.

01:02:25.520 --> 01:02:27.520
Isn't she? Isn't she?

01:02:27.520 --> 01:02:30.520
Is that a woman? Is that a woman?

01:02:30.520 --> 01:02:34.520
That's what I've been asking myself all evening. Is that a woman?

01:02:34.520 --> 01:02:39.520
I like the way she speaks. You know, the way she talks in that little ridge is a darling.

01:02:39.520 --> 01:02:43.520
She sounds like the voice of Firestone with a blowout.

01:02:43.520 --> 01:02:46.520
Believe me, I love it. She's the kind of a girl I like to take home to my mother.

01:02:46.520 --> 01:02:50.520
With her, I can trust my old man. You know?

01:02:50.520 --> 01:02:54.520
I love you. I really do. Tallulah, if I've said anything to offend you, I've succeeded.

01:02:54.520 --> 01:02:57.520
Gee, what a guy. How about the talent on the show tonight?

01:02:57.520 --> 01:03:02.520
Look what you're getting. Jimmy Durante, Gordon Mac Cray, Rosemary Clooney, Frank Lovejoy, Texaco Merman.

01:03:02.520 --> 01:03:05.520
Texaco Merman. I'm not allowed to say Ethel.

01:03:05.520 --> 01:03:09.520
And, uh, oh, that's a gasser.

01:03:09.520 --> 01:03:13.520
Wonderful Milton. It should have been twins.

01:03:13.520 --> 01:03:17.520
It was. My mother threw away the wrong one. You know, I don't know.

01:03:17.520 --> 01:03:21.520
My mother, these are the jokes. Let's face it now.

01:03:21.520 --> 01:03:25.520
Laugh at them now. Figure them out later.

01:03:25.520 --> 01:03:28.520
I have to do this for a living, you know. I got a new racket.

01:03:28.520 --> 01:03:32.520
I smuggle baseball players into the polar grounds.

01:03:32.520 --> 01:03:37.520
How about that baseball? How about that team?

01:03:37.520 --> 01:03:41.520
I heard that DeRosha is going to sell the team. Really. I just read an ad in the paper.

01:03:41.520 --> 01:03:45.520
It says Macy's are going to have a Giants sale.

01:03:45.520 --> 01:03:49.520
And today those Giants lost 11 in a row.

01:03:49.520 --> 01:03:54.520
I'd like to lose 11 in that row. They're not laughing.

01:03:54.520 --> 01:03:58.520
Now get with it, please.

01:03:58.520 --> 01:04:02.520
I'm not replaced for 30 years. You can be replaced in 30 seconds.

01:04:02.520 --> 01:04:07.520
I like that deal I made with NBC. I've got another 30 years to go on television.

01:04:07.520 --> 01:04:12.520
I'm so happy about it. I feel like Errol Flynn on a raft with Phil Spatowning's orchestra.

01:04:12.520 --> 01:04:18.520
I thought I lost you. I gained on you again.

01:04:18.520 --> 01:04:22.520
My whole family is very happy about the deal. Even my brother Frank.

01:04:22.520 --> 01:04:26.520
Now you take my brother Frank. I wish you would.

01:04:26.520 --> 01:04:30.520
Ever since he was old enough to work, he hasn't.

01:04:30.520 --> 01:04:37.520
My mother used to say to him, Frank, learn some kind of business so at least we'll know what kind of work you're out of.

01:04:37.520 --> 01:04:41.520
I don't want to say it.

01:04:41.520 --> 01:04:43.520
One, two, three. This is for free.

01:04:43.520 --> 01:04:50.520
I don't want to say that my brother Frank is lazy, but when he heard that Judy Holliday won the Academy Award, it made him so happy.

01:04:50.520 --> 01:04:54.520
He loves her name. It has a holiday in it. I'm only kidding.

01:04:54.520 --> 01:04:56.520
I'm only kidding. Clever stuff. Funny material.

01:04:56.520 --> 01:05:00.520
So how come I'm back on radio again?

01:05:00.520 --> 01:05:04.520
I love radio. I used to be in radio myself until I got wise.

01:05:04.520 --> 01:05:06.520
And what a program I used to have.

01:05:06.520 --> 01:05:15.520
In fact, when they took the last rating of my radio show, they found out that 50% of the people in the studio weren't listening.

01:05:15.520 --> 01:05:21.520
I had a wonderful program. I was on for seriour time. I was on from 9.30 till 9.

01:05:21.520 --> 01:05:24.520
I am on.

01:05:24.520 --> 01:05:28.520
Audiences. Audiences. I am on.

01:05:28.520 --> 01:05:32.520
Which joke are you working on?

01:05:32.520 --> 01:05:34.520
I had audiences every week.

01:05:34.520 --> 01:05:38.520
Laugh? I thought they'd never start.

01:05:38.520 --> 01:05:42.520
But I miss radio. I really do. I used to love to listen to old radio.

01:05:42.520 --> 01:05:44.520
I mean, this is the new type, sparkling dialogue radio.

01:05:44.520 --> 01:05:47.520
I like those old commentators. They're so exciting.

01:05:47.520 --> 01:05:52.520
Like H.B. Caldiborn. You say, good evening. This is H.B. Cobold.

01:05:52.520 --> 01:05:55.520
This is Elias de Villeneuve.

01:05:55.520 --> 01:05:59.520
Sounds like he backed into a hot radiator.

01:05:59.520 --> 01:06:01.520
I really miss those old things on the radio.

01:06:01.520 --> 01:06:08.520
And then there was Gabriel Heater. He's around. He says, ah, there's good news tonight.

01:06:08.520 --> 01:06:12.520
And Walter Winchell. He says, good evening, Mr. and Mrs. North American. All ships at sea.

01:06:12.520 --> 01:06:16.520
This is Mr. Winchell's bad boy, Walter, broadcasting to you from the Waldorf in Rita Hayworth's suite.

01:06:16.520 --> 01:06:21.520
Flesh. A flash. Flash.

01:06:21.520 --> 01:06:26.520
Now those are the things I miss and those beautiful, sincere radio commercials.

01:06:26.520 --> 01:06:30.520
Do you have those dull, logy feelings?

01:06:30.520 --> 01:06:33.520
Do you feel like you missed three hours sleep?

01:06:33.520 --> 01:06:37.520
Do you? Do you?

01:06:37.520 --> 01:06:40.520
Why don't you go back to bed?

01:06:40.520 --> 01:06:43.520
Have you seen Dr. Clyde's new prismatic glasses?

01:06:43.520 --> 01:06:48.520
If you have, send them back. You can't see a darn thing without them.

01:06:48.520 --> 01:06:53.520
Have you tried Feigenbaum's sunshine-irradiated vitamin D Mickey Fins?

01:06:53.520 --> 01:07:01.520
Try a vitamin Mickey Fin before you leave the house. You'll go out smiling.

01:07:01.520 --> 01:07:05.520
Feigenbaum, spell backwards. It's easier than spelling it frontwards.

01:07:05.520 --> 01:07:08.520
Of course, I miss those singing commercial jingles.

01:07:08.520 --> 01:07:19.520
Murray's nasal drops in the bottle. Try one, folks, and then you see what'll happen when you use Murray's bottle with the syringe on top.

01:07:19.520 --> 01:07:24.520
Do you taunt in your sleep?

01:07:24.520 --> 01:07:27.520
Do you taunt in your sleep?

01:07:27.520 --> 01:07:31.520
If you do, eat one of Murphy's meatballs.

01:07:31.520 --> 01:07:39.520
No more tossing, no more insomnia. You're just laid at death.

01:07:39.520 --> 01:07:43.520
I miss those things, especially those daytime radio serials.

01:07:43.520 --> 01:07:51.520
Ladies and gentlemen, Hamantasha's Dunkable Donuts present the thrilling story of Life Can Be Lousy.

01:07:51.520 --> 01:07:53.520
The first word from our sponsor.

01:07:53.520 --> 01:07:57.520
Ladies, do you suffer from clean laundry?

01:07:57.520 --> 01:08:00.520
Do you use whole wheat yo-yos?

01:08:00.520 --> 01:08:03.520
Are you suffering from dandruff? Do your eyes bother you?

01:08:03.520 --> 01:08:06.520
Are you having trouble with your nose? Are your teeth bad?

01:08:06.520 --> 01:08:10.520
Then throw away your head.

01:08:10.520 --> 01:08:16.520
And now, and now, Vaskoori, Lizzie's other elbow.

01:08:16.520 --> 01:08:19.520
Or who put confetti in grandpa's spaghetti?

01:08:19.520 --> 01:08:22.520
We take you to the beautiful home of Lizzie Hagenlasha.

01:08:22.520 --> 01:08:27.520
Lisha, don't go away. In the suburbs of Cucumber Valley.

01:08:27.520 --> 01:08:31.520
Mittenkipny. Mittenkipny.

01:08:31.520 --> 01:08:34.520
What so funny? What so mittenkipny?

01:08:34.520 --> 01:08:39.520
Last week, we left Lizzie Hagenschlager with her sweetheart, Horace J. Hollobar.

01:08:39.520 --> 01:08:42.520
As we listen in today, we hear Lizzie speaking to Horace.

01:08:42.520 --> 01:08:43.520
Oh, Horace, will you marry me?

01:08:43.520 --> 01:08:45.520
She says, no, Liz, I cannot marry you.

01:08:45.520 --> 01:08:48.520
I cannot marry you. She says, oh, Horace, you must marry me or I shall die.

01:08:48.520 --> 01:08:51.520
I shall die! I shall die!

01:08:51.520 --> 01:09:12.520
Tune in the same program next week and come to Lizzie's funeral.

01:09:12.520 --> 01:09:15.520
Here's a word from RCA Victor.

01:09:15.520 --> 01:09:20.520
Year after year, more people buy RCA Victor television sets than any other make.

01:09:20.520 --> 01:09:25.520
Because year after year, RCA Victor television delivers more for your money than any other make.

01:09:25.520 --> 01:09:28.520
More great new features, more quality.

01:09:28.520 --> 01:09:32.520
So when you invest in a television set, insist on the favorite.

01:09:32.520 --> 01:09:34.520
Insist on RCA Victor.

01:09:34.520 --> 01:09:42.520
And for a really wise investment, consider RCA Victor's new television-radio-phonograph combination, the Rutland.

01:09:42.520 --> 01:09:48.520
Here in one beautiful cabinet, you'll find big, bright, steady, 17-inch RCA Victor million-proof television,

01:09:48.520 --> 01:09:53.520
plus the latest and greatest RCA Victor AM and FM radio,

01:09:53.520 --> 01:09:59.520
plus two superb automatic record changers for recorded music at all three speeds.

01:09:59.520 --> 01:10:02.520
Yes, five superb instruments.

01:10:02.520 --> 01:10:07.520
Yet, because you pay for only one sound system, only one cabinet,

01:10:07.520 --> 01:10:12.520
their cost is far less than what you'd pay for comparable console instruments separately.

01:10:12.520 --> 01:10:20.520
See and hear the Rutland and the many other fine RCA Victor television sets available now at your RCA Victor dealers.

01:10:20.520 --> 01:10:31.520
["RCA Victor Ampere"]

01:10:31.520 --> 01:10:38.520
Ladies and gentlemen, we have decided that this would be a good week to salute a great musician, composer, conductor,

01:10:38.520 --> 01:10:45.520
and the kindest, dearest man who has contributed so much to the Big Show, our very own Meredith Wilson.

01:10:45.520 --> 01:10:52.520
We offer now a medley of Meredith Wilson's hits, and here are Gordon MacRae, Milton Berle, Rosemary Clooney,

01:10:52.520 --> 01:10:59.520
Jimmy Durante, Ethel Merman, the Big Show Orchestra and Chorus, and darlings, guess who?

01:10:59.520 --> 01:11:03.520
Meredith, we stand ready to salute you, if you please, sir,

01:11:03.520 --> 01:11:07.520
starting with the springtime song you wrote for our April 1st show.

01:11:07.520 --> 01:11:34.520
["Holy High Noody"]

01:11:34.520 --> 01:11:38.520
Here comes the springtime and there goes my heart,

01:11:38.520 --> 01:11:41.520
Holy, holy, hey, hey,

01:11:41.520 --> 01:11:45.520
All my resistance is falling apart,

01:11:45.520 --> 01:11:48.520
Holy, holy, hey, hey,

01:11:48.520 --> 01:11:52.520
Sweet evening breeze go away from peace,

01:11:52.520 --> 01:11:55.520
Lilacs and Smilacs on hand me,

01:11:55.520 --> 01:11:59.520
Fresh morning dew you are stroking me through,

01:11:59.520 --> 01:12:02.520
With feelings that don't understand me,

01:12:02.520 --> 01:12:06.520
After the robins the crickets will start,

01:12:06.520 --> 01:12:09.520
Holy, holy, hey, hey,

01:12:09.520 --> 01:12:15.520
Here comes the springtime and there goes my heart,

01:12:15.520 --> 01:12:19.520
Holy, holy, holy, holy,

01:12:19.520 --> 01:12:23.520
Holy, holy, hey, hey,

01:12:23.520 --> 01:12:34.520
For our Easter show, Meredith wrote this lovely song.

01:12:34.520 --> 01:12:44.520
It's Easter time, the bells on the hill are ringing,

01:12:44.520 --> 01:12:47.520
Ringing once again,

01:12:47.520 --> 01:12:57.520
There's a smile on the face of this weary world that seems to say, Amen.

01:12:57.520 --> 01:13:07.520
It's Easter time, the bonnets are greatly nodding, nodding to and fro,

01:13:07.520 --> 01:13:16.520
And the folks walk to church as they did so long ago,

01:13:16.520 --> 01:13:26.520
And there's a basket on the dining room table with fancy Easter eggs for all,

01:13:26.520 --> 01:13:36.520
And there's a lily in all its glory standing in the hall,

01:13:36.520 --> 01:13:45.520
It's Easter time, the dawn of the year shining in the hearts of men,

01:13:45.520 --> 01:13:58.520
With the joys and the hopes that have risen once again,

01:13:58.520 --> 01:14:16.520
It's Easter time, time of the year.

01:14:16.520 --> 01:14:26.520
This next song was presented on the very first big show way back in November.

01:14:26.520 --> 01:14:35.520
Every rose, every tree, and every bird and bee seemed to rate a rondeley or two,

01:14:35.520 --> 01:14:45.520
So a slight poetic push for my favorite bush would seem to be long overdue,

01:14:45.520 --> 01:14:54.520
T'was the peony bush there in my garden that made you turn around to smile at me,

01:14:54.520 --> 01:14:59.520
Not zanies or cardenas with their fragrant perfume,

01:14:59.520 --> 01:15:03.520
Forget me not sin fancy pots or orchids in you,

01:15:03.520 --> 01:15:12.520
T'was the peony bush there in my garden that did the trick as quick as one, two, three,

01:15:12.520 --> 01:15:19.520
Now you will decorate my garden gate forever and never, and never will it be any bush,

01:15:19.520 --> 01:15:36.520
But the peony bush for me. I love that song.

01:15:36.520 --> 01:15:42.520
For our Valentine's Day broadcast, we presented Melodica's beautiful Two in Love.

01:15:42.520 --> 01:15:53.520
Two in love can face the world together,

01:15:53.520 --> 01:16:04.520
Bluebirds sing in everything they do,

01:16:04.520 --> 01:16:16.520
The world may rock and rumble, Crowds may groan and grumble,

01:16:16.520 --> 01:16:27.520
Roses may even tumble too, Darling,

01:16:27.520 --> 01:16:37.520
Two in love can face the stormy weather,

01:16:37.520 --> 01:16:47.520
Laugh aloud at every cloud above,

01:16:47.520 --> 01:16:59.520
And so we'll show them all what love can do,

01:16:59.520 --> 01:17:17.520
For you and I are Two in Love.

01:17:17.520 --> 01:17:26.520
It was only four weeks ago that Melodica wrote this song for our beloved Jimmy Durante.

01:17:26.520 --> 01:17:34.520
Don't put bananas on bananas, Do not kill the lily I am flaw,

01:17:34.520 --> 01:17:41.520
Don't take Coronas to Havana, Take no oysters stewed at Baltimore,

01:17:41.520 --> 01:17:49.520
Now don't put bananas on bananas, Paint no dimples on Melina's knees,

01:17:49.520 --> 01:18:06.520
Girls, must you figure that a figure's better bigger? Don't put bananas if you leave.

01:18:06.520 --> 01:18:26.520
Another of your favorite songs presented on this season's big show was Melodica's You and I.

01:18:26.520 --> 01:18:43.520
Darling, you and I know the reason why A summer sky is blue,

01:18:43.520 --> 01:18:58.520
And we know why Birth in the trees Sing melodies true,

01:18:58.520 --> 01:19:12.520
And our love will grow From the first hello Until the last goodbye,

01:19:12.520 --> 01:19:21.520
So to sweet romance There is just one answer,

01:19:21.520 --> 01:19:30.520
You and I.

01:19:30.520 --> 01:19:45.520
This inspiring American anthem was composed by Meredith as a part of our Abraham Lincoln tribute.

01:19:45.520 --> 01:20:04.520
Here on the shores, Glad to freedom are born, O Lord, make us worthy of this land,

01:20:04.520 --> 01:20:15.520
Thou hast chosen to bless.

01:20:15.520 --> 01:20:27.520
Firmly with faith in the right Here will we stand, God our only confessor,

01:20:27.520 --> 01:20:47.520
Here on the shores, Glad to freedom are born, America, America, America, America,

01:20:47.520 --> 01:21:04.520
Here on the shores.

01:21:04.520 --> 01:21:08.520
Well, that was a real treat, Meredith, and we all enjoyed doing your lovely songs.

01:21:08.520 --> 01:21:13.520
We sure did, Tallulah. I like the way everybody sang. I can use that kind of singing on my television show.

01:21:13.520 --> 01:21:17.520
Well, I've never been on television, darling, but of course I can.

01:21:17.520 --> 01:21:19.520
So how about you coming on my television show Tuesday, huh?

01:21:19.520 --> 01:21:23.520
Oh, no, no. The last time I was on your show, you promised me a lifetime supply of Texaco.

01:21:23.520 --> 01:21:28.520
Well, you got it, didn't you? Yeah, but for my cigarette lighter?

01:21:28.520 --> 01:21:32.520
Milton, I have a cigarette lighter. Gordy, Gordy McCrae, how about you on the show, huh?

01:21:32.520 --> 01:21:38.520
You want me to be on your television show? Yeah. How about money? Oh, I won't charge much.

01:21:38.520 --> 01:21:43.520
I'm afraid not, Milton. But if you insist, Milton, I might consider... Rosemary, Rosemary Clooney,

01:21:43.520 --> 01:21:45.520
would you come over here? How about you? You want to be on my television show?

01:21:45.520 --> 01:21:49.520
I have a feeling you'll be wonderful. I have a feeling you and I together will be great.

01:21:49.520 --> 01:21:54.520
I have a feeling we'll kill him. No, thanks, Milton. I know you and I'm not interested in your feeling.

01:21:54.520 --> 01:21:59.520
Yo, Milton, if you, darling... Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy Durante, you're just the one for my show, huh?

01:21:59.520 --> 01:22:03.520
I might as well have stayed home and counted my money. Jimmy, what about you?

01:22:03.520 --> 01:22:08.520
If you come on my television show, I'll come on yours. One, two, think it through.

01:22:08.520 --> 01:22:12.520
Well, I'll tell you what I'll do with you, Milton. I'll make an even trade with you.

01:22:12.520 --> 01:22:17.520
You appear on my television show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll watch yours.

01:22:18.520 --> 01:22:21.520
No, I don't think so. Well, I love Mona. We're only here, Mona.

01:22:21.520 --> 01:22:27.520
I'm overlooking a great performer. Well, I was wondering how long you'd be.

01:22:27.520 --> 01:22:33.520
Frank Lovejoy. Well, one nice thing. We only have to put up with him for 30 years.

01:22:33.520 --> 01:22:37.520
Frank, Frank Lovejoy. How about it? You want to be on my television show, huh?

01:22:37.520 --> 01:22:41.520
Well, I don't know, Milton. I've never done anything on television. Oh, Frank, you'll be wonderful.

01:22:41.520 --> 01:22:45.520
Three, four, don't get sore. Look, Frank, this is a great opportunity for you.

01:22:45.520 --> 01:22:49.520
I can't promise you too much money since you're a beginner. You've got to start low.

01:22:49.520 --> 01:22:53.520
Well, I guess starting on your show is about as low as you can get.

01:22:53.520 --> 01:23:00.520
Put the word right out of my mouth, darling. Oh, talulah, talulah. Yes, Milton, yes.

01:23:00.520 --> 01:23:08.520
Good night. That always happens to me. Well, maybe I'll have better luck next week.

01:23:08.520 --> 01:23:13.520
Our closing show for the season, when our guests will be Fred Allen, Lucien Boyer,

01:23:13.520 --> 01:23:19.520
Portland Hoffer, Groucho Marx, Jenji Rogers, Margaret Truman, Paul Wenzel and others,

01:23:19.520 --> 01:23:24.520
and of course, our very own Meredith Wilson and the Big Show Orchestra and Chorus.

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And now, still another Meredith Wilson composition, the beautiful hymn he wrote especially

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as our good night to you each Sunday.

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May the good Lord bless and keep you, for the near are far away. Rosemary?

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May you find that long-awaited golden day today.

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Milton? May your troubles all be small ones, and your fortune ten times ten.

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Frank? May the good Lord bless and keep you, till we meet again. Ethel?

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May you walk with sunlight shining, and a bluebird in every tree.

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May there be a silver lining, back out every cloud you see. Merritt?

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Fill your dreams with sweet tomorrows, never mind what might have been.

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Jimmy? May the good Lord bless and keep you, till we meet again. Gordon?

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May you long recall each rainbow, then you'll soon forget the rain.

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May the warm and tender memories, be the ones that will remain.

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Fill your dreams with sweet tomorrows, never mind what might have been.

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May the good Lord bless and keep you, until we meet again.

01:25:43.520 --> 01:26:11.520
May the good Lord bless and keep you, till we meet, till we meet again.

01:26:11.520 --> 01:26:30.520
Good night, darlings, and Godspeed to our armed forces all over the world who hear these broadcasts each week.

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The Big Show has been brought to you by famous Cannon Towels, the world's most popular towels, the towels that give you the most for your money.

01:26:38.520 --> 01:26:45.520
By Chesterfield, the only cigarette that gives you mildness plus no unpleasant aftertaste, the best cigarette for you to smoke.

01:26:45.520 --> 01:26:49.520
By the makers of Anison for fast relief from the pain of headache near Anison, near Alja.

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And by RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television.

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Milton Berle appears with the courtesy of the Texas Company.

01:26:57.520 --> 01:27:05.520
The Big Show is produced and directed by Dee Engelbach, and written by Goodman A. Selma Diamond, George Foster, Mort Green, and Frank Wilson.

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This is Ed Herlihy.

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Coming up, the Phil Harrison Alistair Show. Hear it on NBC.

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Thank you.