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Fifty Years

Of My Life

IN THE WORLD OF SPORT

AT HOME AND ABROAD

BY

SIR JOHN DUGDALE ASTLEY, Bart.

•THE MATE'

' The iveb of oitr life is of a mingled yarn
Good and ill together' — Shakespeare

FOURTH EDITION

IN ONE VOLUME

LONDON
HURST AND BLACKETT, LIMITED

13 GREAT MARLBOROUGH STREET
1895

All rights reserved

TO

HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS

ALBERT EDWARD, PRINCE OF WALES

THESE RECOr.DS OF

"fifty years of my life"

AEE

BY PERMISSION

xMOST RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED

J. D. iSTLEY.

AUTHOR'S PREFACE

Many of my readers, and not a few of my casual acquaint-
ance, will wonder how it is that I, ' The Jigger ' of Eton and
College days, and ' The Mate ' of Regimental and present times,
could ever have the audacity (though I don't pretend to be
troubled with diffidence) to attempt to commit to paper some
of my experiences in this * vale of tears.' But the fact is, I
have long been wishful to once again acquire possession of one
of those pleasant occupants of my pocket which, in days gone
by, used to nestle there periodically, and were so welcome,
even when solitary — I mean the ' merry monk,' i. e. the collec-
tion of crisp bank-notes that constitute the adorable ' monkey,'
value £500 sterling. The receptacle still exists, but its occu-
pants have deteriorated into occasional ' flimsies ' (fivers) and
very often ' nonsies.' One day, after a pleasant luncheon in
Grosvenor Place, I had been telling several stories in a
voluble and, to some of my audience, amusing style, when
suddenly an old friend, who, like me, had seen better days
(only in a pecuniary sense, be it understood), exclaimed,
'Why don't you write a book? You are constantly com-
plaining of poverty, why you would be a rich man if you
would take the trouble to put on paper the amusing stories
you have just been telling us.' I replied, ' It's all very well,
my dear Charlie, to talk. Any fool can tell a story, but it
takes a man to write a book. How could I write one when,
barring Bradshaw, I never study any book V 'Go on,' he
answered ; * you take my tip and you will make a pile.' Well,
we parted for the time being, but the idea once started was

viii AUTHOR'S PREFACE.

ever present in my mind, and one day I mentioned the above
conversation to my old friend Dick Tliorold (when dining at
his house), and he so cordially took to the idea that he volun-
teered to lend me his assistance by editing the book for me ;
this and an extra sharp attack of impecuniosity at the time,
decided me to have a shy at literature, and upon Dick intro-
ducing me to his Publisher, Mr. Blackett (of the well-known
firm of Hurst and Blackett), terms were soon arranged, and I
set to work. The result, kind reader, is now before you. If I
have written a word in these pages that can hurt the feelings
of man or woman, I crave their pardon for unintentionally
having done so. That my readers may be pleased, and so
assist the ' merry monk ' to take up his old quarters, is the
earnest wish of

Yours truly,

J. D. ASTLEY.

EDITOR'S NOTE

As Sir John has more than once in these pages kindly alluded
to my connection with his book, and the share that I took in
persuading him to set to work on it, I trust that I may be
allowed to explain one or two points very briefly. First, it has
been a great pleasure to me to have been of use to him, and in
ever so small a degree to have been the means of inducing him
to jot down his experiences, for the amusement of his friends
and the General Public. I trust also that it may be borne in
mind that I have as much as possible endeavoured to preserve
his style of composition, and his peculiar phraseology — not
invariably an easy task. His letters from the Crimea I have
left precisely as they were written, and without alteration of
any kind. I can only trust that the book may meet with the
same universal popularity that my old friend so deservedly
possesses with ' all sorts and conditions of men,' Whatever
may be its literary faults, I have only to assure the readers of
this volume that I have done ' my level best,' and spared
neither time nor trouble in my old friend's service.

RICHARD THOROLD.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER I.

Birth and Parentage — My Father and Mother — Early Days — My
Grandfather's Gift of a Pony on my Birthday — Go to School at Aust
and Bath, and to a Private Tutor at Winchester — Impressions of
Schools in 1836— Go to Eton in 1842— Evans'— Goodford's— Buster
Carew — Escapades at Eton — Up to Balston . . . Pp. 1 — 10

CHAPTER II.

Eton Days continued — Trials — Missing Verses — Goodford and I Disagree
— An Evening Raid — Rheumatic Fever — Leave Eton — Water-Cure at
Malvern — Assheton Smith — Doctors all Wrong — Go to Tutor in the
Isle of Wight — Go to Oxford — Hunting — Tandem -Driving — Dodging
the Proctors — Kilcannon Arch — A Cooler in Mercury — Nearly Rus-
ticated— Breaking out of College — Also Breaking in — My Dog Pepper
— Discover that I can Run — Bullingdon — The Drag — Matches and
Sweeps — Collections — The Dean's Advice — I take it — Contemporaries
at Oxford Pp. 11—22

CHAPTER III.

Go back to Oxford to Settle up — Go to Switzerland — My Life there —
Tobogganing down the Slopes — Hotel at Vevey — Ordered Home —
Gazetted to Scots Guards — Chartist Riots — I Out-manoeuvre the Colonel
— Drill with Coke — Much Pleased at becoming a Full-blown Soldier —
Brown Bess — Wellington Barracks — Go on Leave — Hunting from
Everleigh— The Old Squire and Leo— Go on a Sporting Tour— Fall
into Good Hands— Kill my Horse over a Stile— Forty Gone — Men
I Met Pp. 23—33

xii CONTENTS.

CHAPTER IV.

Battalion moves to Chicliester — Hunt with the H.H. — 'Gentleman
Smith ' — Cricket-matches in Neighbourhood — Coaching Experiences
— Tennis-court at Goodwood — My First Betting Transaction — Good-
wood Races — Chicken-rearing — Chicken-racing — New Method of Har-
nessing my Mare — Proceed from Chichester to the Tower — The March
—Quartered at the Tower — Bank Guards— Escapes of being Shut out
of the Fortress — Football at the Tower — Running Match with W. W.
Bea3h— A Close Thing Pp. 34—43

CHAPTER V.

Move to Windsor— Football with 1st Life-Guards— Match 150 Yards with
Pack — I Win Comfortably — Match between Martin and One of the 1st
— A Lucky Kick — I Drive to See the Race— An Awkward Dilemma—
An Amicable Settlement of what might have been Unpleasant — Lose
my Watch — Match with Vane against Time — AVindsor and the Neigh-
bourhood— Start for Spain wdth Edmund Ethelston — A Day's Sport —
Home by Candle-light — St. Sebastian to Madrid — A Good Postillion —
Fran9ois's Pantaloons — Boxing the Bulls — A Bull-fight — Activity and
Skill Required — My Opinion of the Sport . . .Pp. 44—54

CHAPTER VI.

Fran9ois finds a Flier — The Result — The Royal Stables —Malaga— Ronda
to Gibraltar— A Terrible Rough Ride— On to Seville— Seville Tobacco
Factory — The Narro\vness of the Streets — My Opinion of Spain an.d
Spaniards — Arrive at Cadiz — Meet with Friends — Decline Dining on
the Sea— Take Steamer for England — Arrive at Southampton — Part
from Peel, after Two Months together — A Spin Round St. James's Park
—Advice to Others how to keep Fit— Croydon Fair . Pp. 55 — 63

CHAPTER Vn.

Return to Chichester — The Battalion Harriers — Old Ewens and his Hare
—The C.C.C— My Black Cob— Lord Chewton's Discretion— Fish-
carts and Dogs — Hippy Damer's Dog— Just a Bit Timid— Employment
for the Glazier— Good for Trade— More Cricket- Two Miles best Pace
to a Fire— Match with Jim Gorham over Hurdles— Match with Roger
Mostyn— The Conditions— The Result of Diplomacy— Colonel Col ville—
Field-day on Downs— Late for Parade — A Novel Excuse Pp. 64—73

CHAPTER VIIL

Leave Chichester— Death of the Duke of Wellington— The Funeral—
Boxing-lessons— Ned Adams— Plavin!.>- Liglit- A Word of Advice —

CONTENTS. xiii

Jock Dalrymple— Fred Thesiger — Dick Bateson — Tom Steele— ' The
Shaver' and 'The Giant' — Prize-fight : Broome v. Orme — Match with
Duncan Baillie to Run 100 Yards and Walk 20 Miles in Four Hours
—Stay with Peel in Norfolk—' Tlie Norwich Pet '—Biters Bit— ' Flying
Tailor ' — A Bit of Fatherly Counsel — E. C. Burton — ]\Iy First Defeat
— Some Account of ' Doey Burton ' . . . . Pp. 74—83

CHAPTER IX.

Stay at Tredegar— The ' Bristol Mouse ' — David Williamson — Match with
Rowland Hill — Give Five Yards, Same Result — Move to Windsor —
* Ducky ' Grantham — Training-quarters at Surley — Frost and Levett —
Dan Dismore — Catch a Weasel Asleep ? — The Race— Doing the Double
— A Speedy Retreat— Nearly Done Twice— No More Backers for Frost
— Cricket with the Blues— A Row to Marlow and Back — Shakespeare
— Fire at Windsor Castle — Strawberry Jam and Noyau not a Good
Mixture— My New Command — Matches with Fred Sayer — Hockey on
the Slopes (pond) at Windsor Castle . . . .Pp. 84—93

CHAPTER X.

Home on Leave, January 1854 — Rumours of Foreign Service— Littlecote
and Wild Dayrell — Orders for the East— Embarkation of the Brigade
of Guards — Embark in Simoom at Portsmouth, 28th of Febraary— My
Cabin — Personal Discomfort Therein — The Voyage Out— My Miseries
— Engines Break Down — Gibraltar — Malta at Last — In Lazaretto
Barracks — Renny at the Malta Club — Embark in Kangaroo— 'From
Frying-pan to Fire' — Perils of the Deep — Gallipoli — Scutari — Our
Camp — Berkeley and Coke Join — Death of Macneish — Shooting Trips —
Duke of Cambridge Joins Army — Review by Lord Raglan — Sports and
Games— Review by the Sultan— Beat Hickey— Varna Pp. 94—103

CHAPTER XL

Camp at Varna— Unhealthy State of Same— Move to Aladyn— Visit Camp
of Light Division— Dr. Bostock's Diary — Embark on Kangaroo —
Cholera and Dysentery — Narrow Escape of beiug Run Down by
Eydaspes — Landing of Troops in Kalamita Bay, 14th September —
Our First Night on Shore — Hepburn and Ennismore — A Foraging
Party — The 5th Company's Breakfast-table — Billy Ridley Scents Mush-
rooms— Picquet Duty — Attempt to Persuade a Stray Bullock to Visit
our Camp — Mutton-hunting — Heartrending Episode connected there-
with— The French General and his Game — We obtain some Poultry —
Orders to March— First Brush with Enemy, September 19th — Battle
of Alma, September 20th Pp. 104—115

CONTENTS.

CHAPTER XII.

Battle of Alma concluded — Eush for the Battery — The True Reason of
our Line Wavering and Retiring — AYounded — Under the Vineyard
Wall — Tea — Poor George Duff — A Bit of Luck for the Cook — Convey-
ing Wounded on Board the Ships — I am taken aboard Sanspareil —
Hepburn, Ennismore, Bulwer, Baring, Chewton, Haygarth,all Wounded
— Fifth Company without Officers— Letters Home— Horace Cust Killed
— Bob Lindsay to get the Victoria Cross — Death of Thistlethwaite —
Embark in the Colombo — Terrible State of Ship — Arrival at Scutari—
See Fred Sayer — No more Running for him — Deaths of Colonel Cox
and Jolliffe from Cholera— Death of Chewton— My Wound on the
Mend — Narrow Escape of Gibbs — Invalided Home in the Vectis—
' Home, Sweet Home ' — A Word about Everleigh— Foxhall— Old Picture
of the Combat — Our Woodman on Rabbits . . Pp.116 — 127

CHAPTER XIII.

Go on Duty in London — Recruiting in Sussex — Country Visits — Letter
from Hepburn — 'Where Duty Calls' — I Volunteer to Return to the
Crimea — Disapproval at Home — Embark at Portsmouth — On Board
Alma Troopship — Arrive at Malta— Buy a Pony at Pera — In the Sea
of Marmora — Arrive at Balaclava — Old Friends and Faces — Rejoin
Battalion in Camp on Balaclava Hill — Rough AVork at the Front—
Curtis, Carter, and Lempriere Killed same Night — Dine with Jerry
Goodlake — He Receives the Victoria Cross — Francis Baring — Potatoes
£20 a Ton— Nigel Kingscote— Neville— Keith— Gordon— De Bathe-
Russians Fear our Men— Billy Russell and Sayer — Marshal Pelissier
Succeeds Canrobert — My Pony Dies — Buy another for £40 — Halford
and Hutchinson — Foot-races on Queen's Birthday — Wild Dayrell Wins
Derby, 1855— 'Crow Corbett'— His Death— Taking of Mamelon—
Death of Colonel Yea— Catch Fever . . . Pp. 128-142

CHAPTER XIV.

Death of Hughie Drummond — Battle of Tchernaya — Cricket at the Front
— We give a Dinner-party — Shooting in Baidar Valley— Bat Buckley
Killed — Grand Assault— Russians Evacuate Town — What I saw there
— Road-making — Anniversary of Alma — Pdpon Transport arrived with
Colonel Berkeley — KnoUys and Gipps — Match with Slade — A Wrangle
— Building Mess Hut — My Leg in Difficulties — My Sardinian Charger
— Ennismore and Eraser arrive 27th of October — Explosion of the
Siege-train Store — Visit the Scene the next Day — Steeplechases — I
tackle Billy Russell — LTrgent Private Aifairs — Lord Rokeby to Dinner
— Huts blown down by the High Winds— Bad going fiom Hut to Hut
—A Path in Prospect Pp. 143—155

CONTENTS. XV

CHAPTER XV.

Execute a Deal — Men Frost-bitten — A Snow Redoubt — Shooting in Baidar
Valley — A Flight of Turkey Bustards — Mincemeat in the Mail-bag —
Theatricals in the Fourth Division — Colonel Foley does the Avalanche
Trick — The New Year of 1856 — Contemplated Trip with Saunders —
Red Tape still in Stock — Leave Granted by Six Oflficials — Loss of our
Baggage-Horse — Forty Pounds to the Bad — Lazy Beaters — British
Argument — Return to Balaclava — Trophies sent Home in the Meteor —
Race-Meetings and ' Army Games ' — Theatricals in our Brigade — Sefton
and Malet — Armistice — Sports and Racing— Peace Declared — Grand
Review — Match against Time ..... Pp. 156 — 166

CHAPTER XVL

Curly Knox gets a bad Fall — Expedition to Scutari — Entertained by the
Inniskillings — The Sultan's Cups — Jim Coleman — Dutch Courage —
Roger Mostyn — No Luck, no Winnings — Sell our Horse — Barring-
tons and Hunters— Back at Balaclava — Valentine Baker's Arab — The
Rugeley Poisoner, Palmer — Embark on board Princess Royal — ^Arrive
at Malta, 17th June— Gibraltar— In the Bay — Life on Board the
Priticess Royal — Hare — Festing — Portsmouth — Looking back on the
Winters of 1854-5 — Moralizing — Losses by the Allies and Russians
during the Campaign — Mortality from Cholera and other Diseases —
Land at Portsmouth and Train to Aldershot, July 1856 — Review in
Hyde Park — Untimely Death of Peter — My Pony 'Jim' — Pose as
Model for a Corbel — Goodwood, 1856 — Tull, the Lock-keeper — Lady
Hashley !— Athletic Sports, Aldershot, October 1856 — Sweep the
Board— Beat W. Beach Pp. 167—181

CHAPTER XVII.

Match with J. P. Taylor — In the Emerald Isle— I Win easily — Horse-
dealing by Gaslight — Cobble Stones v. Flesh and Bone — The Result —
Julian Hall sends back my Winnings — Match with Captain Smith,
71st Highlanders — My Last Appearance on the Running-path — I Win
— I Contemplate Matrimony — Courtship — Married at St. James's—
Start for Foreign Parts — Paris — Special License Wins Liverpool Cup —
On the Way to Rome — Rome — Birth of ray Son and Heir — Some
Account of my Florentine — St. Peter's — I Turn an Honest Penny-
Leave for Marseilles — Railway Accident — Not much Damage — Arrive
in England — Paulett Somerset's Cottage at Englefield Green — Sell the
Florentine — Englefield Green— A Real Bit of Luck— Barber and Saxon

Pp. 182—196

xvi CONTENTS.

CHAPTER XVIII.

A Break in my "Work — When the Cat's Away — Decide to Retire from
Army — Take up our Quarters at Elsham— The Brocklesby Hounds
and Country — I Purchase Cockeye — Anecdotes of Corbett — The Good
Samaritan — Davy of Worlaby — Gaylad and Lottery — Lord Henry
Bentinck and the Burton Hounds — Coursing at Bryn-y-Pys — I Lose a
Good Mare — Take a Perilous Voyage across the River Dee — A Generous
Father-in-law . . . ." . . . .Pp. 197—205

CHAPTER XIX.

I Begin to be Short of Money — Some of the Reasons why — Take to Racing
as a Means of Remedying the Evil — A Few Words on 'The Art of
Self-Defence' — The Fight for the Championship — There and Back
again for £5 — The Special Train — At the Ring Side — Contrast between
the Men — The Fight — Police — A False Alarm, but Ring broken up —
My Impressions as to the Probable Result had the Battle been Fought
out — My Wife lets the Cat out of the Bag — General Enthusiasm and
Interest to Learn Details of the Fight — The Times Triumvirate —A
Few Words about Evans' — The New Club — The National Sporting
Club — Slavin and Jackson — A Genuine Display — High Price of Seats
— Room Completely Filled with Spectators — Victory of Jackson

Pp. 206—212

CHAPTER XX.

A Trip to Baden — Paris en route — The Board of Green Cloth — My Wife's
System of Backing Number 31 — Vultures of the Tables — No Luck —
My Notes Diminish Daily — The Duke of Hamilton and his Team —
leaden Steeplechases — Vicomte Talon — A Real Good Rider and a
Plucky One — The Baths at Loesche — A Shooting-Party — Gorgeous
Costumes the Order of the Day — Le Boi de Chassc — A Few Words
about Pigeon-shooting— The Old Red House, Battersea — Frank Heath-
cote — Beeswing, Ancient and Modern — A Tough Antagonist in Sir
Hedworth Williamson — Sixteen All — A Lucky Kill — Sir Richard
Sutton — Ninety-two out of One Hundred Pheasants with Flint and
Steel — The Present Duke of Devonshire Wrecks my Book on the
Pigeon Handicap by Winning it — Nice Odds, 100 to 2 Twice — Hornsey
Wood Built over— Gun Club, Shepherd's Bush . Pp. 213—220

CHAPTER XXI.

Harking Back a few Years — How I took to Racing — Famous Horses I
have Seen — Goodwood in 1849 — Blink Bonny and the Leger — A Good

CONTENTS. xvii

Investment fou Metropolitan and Chester Cup — A Dead Heat between
Three for the Cesare witch — George Foi'dh am— Extraordinary Perform-
ance of Sweet Sauce — The Croagh Patrick Objection— The Stewards'
Decision, Nine Months after the Pace- 1 become an Owner of Bace-
horses— My First Purchase, Hesper— Richard Drewitt of Lewes— One
of the Past Race of Trainers— Little AVonder, an Early Foal— Mrs.
Drewitt and her Bonnets — George Fordham's Merits both as Jockey
and Man — Trials at Lewes — Fordham's Loyalty to his Master — Hesper's
Performances — Jjcvity and Neptunus — The Grass Widow pulls me
through — Farfalla — Add to my Stud — Disposing of a Tout — Black-
down's Trial for the Goodwood Stakes — Backing the Favourite —
Blackdown wins ! — ' Cruncher ' Greville~&c. . Pp. 221 — 229

CHAPTER XXIL

Laura breaks a Blood-vessel — Sell her for £25 — A Gold Mine to Gosden,
the Miller of Midhurst — George Thomson — 'Major' Booth and his
Book — Catch 'em Alive's Sensational Cambridgeshire — Sammy Mordan
on the Subject — Orphene — Health v. Wealth — Miss Landing a Good
Stake — Hold the Whip with Bally Edmond — Races and Matches won
liy Hesper — Wynnstay — The Squire of Hooton and Biondella — I Ride
Hesper off ths Course at Shrewsbury — Sooner had a Fly — Frail the
Courteous — I Lease iVcttisa for her Racing Career — Old Draper of
Kettering — Clarke Thornhill of Rushton — Gladiateur Wins Derby for
the Frenchmen — The Financialist owns that he is Beat — Purchase
Ostregor of C. Bevil at Huntingdon — Beat Frank Westmoreland's
Icicle, giving 4 Stone Odd — Actaea's Running — She Wins the Cam-
bridgeshire— Afraid to Trust her with much — Dr. Shorthouse makes
an Error, but Apologizes and All's Well — Death of Acttea — A Narrow
Escape — The Lincoln ChronicU — An Extract therefrom — Saved ! —
Hermit's Derby — My Folly — Harry Chaplin a Ucal Friend — Wonderful
Generous Conduct — Match with Machell and Knight of the Garter —
Ostregor Wins — The Chesterfield Cup at Goodwood, Ostregor Wins,
Five Lengths— Sold to Austrian Government for £3000— Offer £1000
to be off Bargain— No Go — Ostregor not a Success at the Stud.

Pp. 230—241

CHAPTER XXIIL

Pirate Chief— Curious Accident — Bad Luck at Lewes — Dead Heat for the
Cambridgeshire — Buckworth Powell's Legacy — Nicely Invested — Don
Pedro— Lictor and Limner — Frail in the Know— Follow Suit — Lictor
Wins me a Nice Stake in Eton Handicap— Sell him to Sir Joseph
Hawley, who Wins Liverpool Autumn Cup with him — ]\Ir. Corbett
taken 111— His Death— A Courteous, High-Minded Gentleman— His

6

iii CONTENTS.

Will — My Son to take the Name of Corbett— Estate Management —
My Hands Full — Depression of Land since 1870— Lease six Two-year-
olds of Skipworth— My First Meeting with Fred Webb— His First
Win— Maria Marchioness of Ailesbury and Croxton Park Eaces —
Chester Cup— Too Clever by Half— But Knight of the Garter Wins-
Charlie Legard's Vespasian— Am Elected a Member of the Jockey Club
— No Time for Racing— Sell my Horses at Tattersall's, December 6th
—Rent a Cottage at Newmarket in 1870— Jolly Times— Saxon's Death
— Adonis Wins Cambridgeshire— Lord Falmouth — Kingcraft's Derby
— Gaston Wins Feather Plate— Sell him to Charley Kerr— Start
Breeding Yearlings at Elsham — Buy Broomielaw — Anecdotes of the
Horse— John N. Astley's Pell-Mell— Buy Scamp— Stock a Farm on
Credit— My Brother Hugh's Letter— The Browns . Pp. 242—251

CHAPTER XXIV

Brocklesby Country — Many good Horsemen — J. M. Richardson of
Limber— Disturbance and Reugny — Win Goodwood Stakes with
Scamp — Enter the House of Commons — My Grandfather's Election
Accounts — Rowland Winn (Lord St, Oswald) — The Lawson Liquor
Bill — I answer as to my own — Horseplay while Canvassing — I bring
in a Bill to Restrain Farm-servants administering Deleterious Drugs
to their Horses — Rather too free in Speaking my Mind on Teetotalism,
also about the Irish Party — I am called upon to Retract— Mr. Sullivan
keeps the Ball Rolling — A Maiden Speech in the House — Chevalier
O'Clery, ]\LP. for Wexford— All's Well that Ends Well— Mr. Mun-
della — Quiet Moments in the Snuggery of the Serjeant-at-Arms (Gossett)
— My Opinion as to the Merits of being M.P. — I lose my Seat at the
General Election of 1880— Vow never to stand again — Am presented
with my Portrait — Sit to Sir John Millais — Agricultural Shows — I
appear in the Arena as a Competitor — The Water-jump at Lincoln
Show— I retire from the show-ring in favour of the Light-weights

Pp. 255—265

CHAPTER XXV.

Few Words on Coursing— Goodlake of Wadley and other Coursing
Celebrities — My Early Experiences with the Long-tails — Jerry Good-
lake urg;3s me to Start a Meeting at Elsham — Coursing Anecdotes —
No Certainty even with Two Runners — Coomassie and Waterloo Cup —
A 'Dreamer of Dreams' — Spring of 1875 appointed a Steward of
Jockey Club— The Sphynx Fraud— Mr. Justice Lindley — Warren and
Longland get Six and Nine Months respectively— The New Stand on
the Rowley Mile— Mr. Holland's Assistance— Also Mr. Jordan, Clerk
of the Works— Hard to Satisfy every one— A Fine Investment- Wage

CONTENTS. xix

War against the Touts during my Period of Office — Death of Admiral
Rous in 1877 — A Heavy Blow to the Turf generally — The Rous
Memorial Hospital— Land given by the late Sir Richard Wallace —
The Admiral's Mistake with Sutton — Death in the following Year
(1878) of George Payne — A Sound Reference in all Matters requiring
Fine Judgment — Amusing to watch the Old Friends over a Game of
Billiards— Regretted by all Pp. 266— 274

CHAPTER XXVI.

Bipeds on Land and Water — Captain Webb — His Channel Swim-
Wonderful Feats of Endurance — His Death by Drowning in Niagara
Rapids — Bipeds on Land — E. P. Weston — His Match with Dan
O'Leary-— Weston Miscalculates liis Hours — Short of Pluck — O'Leary
Wins — I take the Royal Agricultural Hall, Islington, for a Six Days'
' Go as You Please ' Competition — Won by O'Leary with just over 520
Miles — Vaughan of Chester — Publish a Balance-sheet for Various
Reasons — Corkey and his Wife — Eel-broth and Attention — A New
Bonnet — Balance-sheet of Second Competition : Not quite so good a
Result — Take a Fancy to Rowell's Style— Find the Money to send him
to Compete at New York — I give him a Trial Spin at Elsham — Am
Satisfied — Rowell brings back Championship Belt and close on £5000
— Crosses Atlantic a Second Time with equal Success — BloAver Brown
— His Quaint old Backer, John Smith — Hot Bath and Chops win the
Day — Divided Opinions amongst Good Men on Long- Distance Com-
petitions—My Club Friend — My Opinion carried out — So was he
within Six Months Pp. 275—283

CHAPTER XXVII.

Many Irons in the Fire between 1870 and 1880 — Purchase Orleans House
and Grounds adjoining — Form a Club — Six Hundred Members to Start
with — Weather a Serious Consideration with a Club of this kind —
Lose Money in the Concern — Entertain Australians after Cricket —
Obliged to Sell the Place in 1882— The Filter Gentleman— My Cabs
and Horses — Bad Luck at last — Horse Bolts and Meets with a Soda-
water Van — Driver Injured — Hospital— Uncle Apjjears — A Cunning
Old File — Defend the Case in Person— Waddy, Q.C. — Notwithstand-
ing my Eloquence am cast for £125 Compensation — Take to Chance
Locomotion at Ordinary Rates per Time or Distance — The Story of
Nougat Pp. 284—290

CHAPTER XXVIIL

Racing in 1875— Scamp, 4 Years— The Whip at Newmarket — Duke of
Parma, 3 Years— The Trial— Ask Sir Charles Russell— Buy Hop-

XX CONTENTS.

bloom, 2 Years— Chirk Castle— Dicky Biddulph and his Wife— Scamp
Improves— Machell and Match-making— Pop v. Claret— Pop walks in
— Thanks to Archer, Brigg Boy gets Home First — Caledon Alexander
beats me with Nina, 2 Years— Curious In-and-out Running at Don-
caster— Hopbloom Wins Hunt Cup at Ascot— A Nice Price— Runs
Second to Rosebery for Cambridgeshire— Send Scamp and Bridget to
Epsom — 'Fogo' Rowlands and Pitt Place — Marcus Beresford — The
Sadleirs — Reggy Herbert — Jack Jones, Trainer and Jockey— A Split
in the Stable — 'Fogo' nearly Bungles with Scamp— Peter Crawshaw —
The Big Hurdle-race— Scamp wins easy— Never took to Jumping —
Send him to the Stud— Jimmy Adams— His Retort to me — I get tlie
Worst of it . . . ' Pp. 291-299

CHAPTER XXIX.

Stirling Crawfurd— Sefton's Derby— A Moderate Horse —Buy Drumhead
— Brogden the Jockey — 'The Bloater' in Trouble — Gretton and
Isonomy— He Wins the Cambridgeshire — Mr. Robins and Mr. Loril-
lard — The Newmarket Handicap — Parole — The Yankee Wins — Iroquois
— A Cast-iron Horse — L, Rothschild's Sir Bevys Wins Derby, 1879 —
Bibury Dinner, Stockbridge Meeting — Match-making with Caledon
Alexander— Drumhead and Briglia, Owners up, 1^ Miles — Drumhead
Wins — Ploughing-match Void — Pigeon-match Won by Alexander — I
Make a Match with Gretton — Drumhead Breaks Down — Rayon d'Or
Wins Leger, 1879 — I, a New Hat — Rosy Cross Wins Lincoln Handi-
cap, 1880 — Bend Or — Robert the Devil — I Lose my Betting-book — An
Eifort of Genius! — Moonstone — Zauoni — A Good Deal — Jack
Pevton— Gretton and Fernandez — Beaten by Lucetta — Poor Gretton !

Pp. 300—308

CHAPTER XXX.

Stay at Wynnstay for Chester— Lord Combermere — Frank Foster — Tom
Drake— Lords Portsmouth and Falmouth of the Party — Simpson the
Stud-groom — Windsor, 4 Years, Wins the Cup — I Buy Peter —
Terrible Luck at ]\Ianchester— Peter at Ascot — A Wonderful Win —
The American Plunger — A Deadly Nuisance — I give him a bit of my
Mind — Unlucky witli Rowell, 2 Years — Table of Running for Year —
Hard Up— I Sell Peter to Richard Combe for £6000— Struggle on
Afresh — Archer and Edensor — Highborn and Lefevre — Dresden China
— Ought to have Won Cesarewitch — My Winnings during 26 Years —
My System not altogether to be Recommended — Different Natures
take their Losses differently— Author or Bear — Dormouse or Fossil —
A Word to others as to the Reason of so many Men going to the Wall,
Racing— Stakes much larger than they were up to 1882— Renders
Betting not quite so absolutely Necessary . . Pp. 309 — 318

CONTENTS. xxi

CHAPTER XXXI.

The Gallant Major of Hussars— 'Who says a Card?' — A Learned Divine
— Granite or What ? — "Sly Brother an Adept at Cock-fighting — His
Indian Birds — The Old Black Hen — I Travel Manchester Way to
AVitness a Cock-fight — Various Precautions — The Sapient Myrmidons
of the Law — ]\ly Lame Companion — I'Anson's Sale at Malton — Hoav
we Outwitted the Police in the Eastern Counties — Painting the 'Bus
Windows — The Wrong Scent — A Pleasant Day's Sport — A Few Words
on the Pastime of Cock-fighting — A Tempting Off'er — A Story of the
Past wherein I Prove how Sensitive are the Feelings of some People—
The Working Man's Club — I produce my Running and Racing Prizes
— Likewise the Garments Donned on most Occasions when Running —
The Infuriated Sky Pilot— I Attempt to Pay him off— My little New
Year's Gift — The Stuffed Canary presented by the Congregation — A
little Suggestion on the Subject .... Pp. 319 — 326

CHAPTER XXXIL

A Little Bit about my Old Regiment — How I Evaded the Authorities and
got on Board the Troopship — 'Curly' Knox in Command — 'The Girls
AVe Left Behind Us ' — Stamping Letters — Fresh Trouble in Egypt in
1884— The 2nd Battalion Ordered Out— My son Frank, one of the
Number — Go down to Gravesend to see him off — 1st of February, 1885
— Not so Cherry a Time as before — * All's Well that Ends Well ' — A
near Shave for my Lad — Capt. A. Fitzgeorge — Scotland and my
Visits there — A Few Words about Grouse-driving — My First Day with
the Grouse — Ganochy and Beaufort — My First Stalk at Beaufort —
Hard Work — Grouse-driving with Henry Saville, Duke of Beaufort —
Jim Macdonald and Stirling Crawfurd — At Longshaw with De la Rue
and W, Morris— A Funny Accident — The Perpetrator of the Deed
makes Amends—Sport at Danby — Sport at Bro.lick in the Island of
Arran — A Charming Place — ' Born too soon ' — The ' Duck ' and I go
well together— Little Lady Mary and her Grace both too Nimble for
the ' Old 'Un ' — A Few AVords on Stalking in Arran — Kindness of
many Friends towards an ' Old 'Un ' when Shooting — Sandringham —
Harry Keppel Pp. 327—340

CHAPTER XXX in.

AVatches that I have * Loved and Lost ' — Some for good and all— A Tussle
at Epsom — King Street, Covent Garden — A Family Relic — Egham
Races — Nat Langham — A Tip for Marking Umbrellas — Mine Borrowed
at Ascot — Ananias not in it — Newmarket — A Night at the Barn Club
— Buy Jumpers — Good Advice — I Buy, or rather my Broker does —

/"

ii CONTENTS.

Two Sorts of ' Brokers ' — The Professional and otherwise — Jumpers
Rise — So do my Spirits — My two Sons, Jerry and Jack — Good and
Bad Business — No Good to be done in England— Often Eight Hours a
Day for Ten Shillings a "Week— Not a Living Wage — The Present
Army Examination — Why more Necessary than Formerly — A Few
Words on the Subject Pp. 341—350

CHAPTER XXXIY.

Am invited to lay out a Race-course in Hamilton Park — Mr. D. and the
Duke of Portland (?)— Horses with One-Sided Mouths — My Opinion of
the Cause — Different Methods of Treatment — Cruel Practice of many
Veterinary Surgeons — Professor Loffler's Method Exemplified — An
Account of the way the Operation of Filing the Teeth is carried out —
Jockeys and Stable-lads at Newmarket — The Stablemen's Institute —
Absurd Prejudices of some Trainers— My Efforts to obtain Subscrip-
tions— Land Presented by Lady Wallace — A Word about the Rous
Hospital and Almshouses — The Sources from which their Cost is
Defrayed — Nothing of the Kind to assist the Institute— Description
of the Building and its Object .... Pp. 351—360

CHAPTER XXXV.

Treat to the Crimean Veterans— Difficulty of Finding them out — Object
to Change their Suits for those Provided — I Set the Example — We
Muster about Eighty — We Spend a Jovial Day and all the old Boys
are Delighted — A Bit more about Pedestrians — Jackson, the * American
Deer— Ten-Mile Race for Men over Fifty— Toddy Ray, not Tottie Fay
— 'Choppy' Warburton — A Doubtful Certificate of Birth — Somerset
House to the Rescue — 'Choppy' afterwards Disqualified — I ]\Iatch
him against any Man of the Brigade of Guards— * Choppy ' Wins
Easily — A Word about Bicycles — Major Tom Holmes — Long Distances
Ridden by him when at the Age of Eighty or thereabouts— History of
another Crimean Veteran, Bob . . . .Pp. 361—370

CHAPTER XXXVI.

Cabbies— A Few of their Names and Nicknames— Captain Fellows and
his Cabman— Competition at Crystal Palace for Cabmen— My Pre-
ference for Hansoms over 'Buses or Underground Railways — How it
took Three Traps to Convey me Three Miles -Out of the Frying-pan
into the Fire— My Match with 'Sugar' Candy— Shoot or Part— A
Case of 'Part,' as I Win Comfortably but perhaps Luckily— The
Whippet, what Manner of Dog— His Use and the Method of Racing

CONTENTS. xxiii

these Animals— Large Number of Entries for Whippet Races— Fre-
quent Close Results— All should be Whippeteers — A Word or Two
about Clubs— The Orleans— Pelican— The Sports Club— Dinner to Mr.
Selous — A Welcome to Lord Dunraven— Prosperous- Condition of
Sports Club— 'Come on!* Pp. 371-378

CHAPTER XXXVII.

Forgotten Scraps— Hurst Park— Course and Stands— 'Appy 'Ampton —
Chestnuts in Hampton Park— New Method of Preparing a cheap Cigar
—I am Initiated into the Process— The lost Coat— Lord Cornwallis (?)
—Poor Jerry Goodlake's Illness — His Death— Major-General George
Knox — Death busy among my Friends — A sympathetic Brother — A
little Stimulant !— Practising what he preached— My Labours nearly
over — A short Account of Joseph Lewis— Last Hopes — Last Words —
' Ring down the Curtain ! ' Pp. 379—389

L

FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

CHAPTER I.

Bii-tli and Parentage— My Father and Mother — Early Days — My
Grandfather's Gilt of a Pony on my Birthday — Go to School at Aust
and Bath, and to a Private Tutor at Winchester— Impressions of
Schools in 1836— Go to Eton in 1842— Evans'— Goodford's— Buster
Carew — Escapades at Eton — Up to Balston.

From ' information that I have received,' as the police have
a knack of saying, I am enabled to state that I was born in
a house on the Pincio,^ at Rome, on the 19th of February,
1828, and the following extract from the County Families
gives what details are necessary to establish who I am, and
whence I come :

'Astley, Sir John Dngdale, Bt., of Everleigh, Wilts (cr.
1821), eldest son of Sir Francis Dugdale Astley, Bt., of
Everleigh, by Emma Dorothea, dau. of the late Sir Thomas
Buckler Lethbridge, Bt.; born, 1828; succ. as 3rd Bt. 1873;
marr. 1858, Eleanor Blanche, only daughter of the late
Thomas George Corbett, Esq., of Elsham, co. Lincoln. Lord
of the manor of Everleigh, patron of 3 livings. Late Lt.
Col. Scots Fusilier Guards.'

Of my very early days I fear I remember very little, and
even that little would not afford much interest to either my
friends or the general public ; so I propose to commence these
memoirs of my — not altogether uneventful — life from about
the year 1836, at which time I had arrived at the mature age
of eight years.

From that date to the present time, I think I may say
without fear of contradiction that I have had many and

1 Or I'incian Hill.

^ FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

varied experiences in most of the ' changing scenes of life ' ;
and, such as they are, after more than one false start, I have
at length yielded to the often expressed desire of many old
friends, by making a fresh attempt to write about some of
the ' ups and downs ' of my life — sporting and otherwise — just
as they occur to me, as likely to be of interest, during a
period extending to over fifty-eight years.

I never took high honours, either in English composition
or the classics ; so I must be allowed to tell my own ' plain,
unvarnished tale ' my own way, and in my own customary
language.

When it is borne in mind that from 1836, the date from
which I propose to start these memoirs, till 1894 is, as I have
already mentioned, no less a period than fifty-eight years, and
that I am writing principally from memory, aided only by a
few notes, odd diaries, and old letters, the difficulty and labour
of arranging anecdotes and events in their proper order and
place will, I think, be recognized.

My head is, like the proverbial omnibus on a wet day,
' Full inside '; but discharging the cargo is, in my case, a
serious consideration.

If I could relate all I have seen or heard, no doubt I could
be more amusing ; but I fear that is out of the question, as
in that case many of the fair sex — for whom no one has more
admiration and respect than I — might object to my book on
their drawing-room tables.

Nevertheless, I am proud to think that, during those fifty
odd years of sporting life at home and abroad, I have made
many friends — real friends, who will look with a kindly and
lenient eye on my humble efforts to recall scenes past and
gone ; mutual dear old pals, * no longer nigh ' : and a few
sporting events, in which I took part, that may have long
since faded from their memories.

Taking this view of the case, then, I will do my best ; but,
as at present I have not got much ' forrarder,' I must take
the advice of the immortal John Jorrocks, and say, ' Time's
up ! Let^s he doin\^

I was born at Rome on the 19th of February, 1828. My
father and mother were a wonderful good-looking pair — at
least, so I have always been told by those who knew them,
and especially by a friend of the celebrated Count D'Orsay,
who knew them well.

My earliest recollections are connected with a wasp which
resented being interfered with, and stung me in consequence^

FIRST ACQUAINTANCE WITH THE TURF. 3

As I yelled with pain, I was consoled by a large slice of cold
plum-pudding to heal my injured finger, and assist in drying
my tears, the result being that I made myself ill, called down
my father's wi-ath upon my devoted head, and caused the
doctor to be sent for to attend to me slightly lower down.
I cannot say that I have ever been violently attached to cold
plum-pudding since that time.

The next thing that I remember connected with doctors
was, that I had a terrible toothache, and was only appeased
by being told that a ' nice, kind man ' was coming from the
town to make ' Master Astley ' quite well. So he did ; but ho
pulled my tooth out, and gave me such excruciating pain that
I devoutly hoped I might never see ' this kind gentleman '
again. On another occasion I very well remember coming
down to dessert at my grandfather's, old Sir John Astley, who
represented North Wiltshire in Parliament for upwards of
fourteen years, and seeing one of the footmen who had just
returned from Andover, where he had acted as one of the
bodyguard to Sir John Pollen, who was standing for that
borough. This great, strapping flunkey was decorated with
two splendid black eyes — the result of a slight difference of
political opinion with the Radical ruffians of that town.

My old grandfather at once poured him out a bumper of
port and eulogized his conduct, telling him that he had no sort
of doubt that he had given his opponent a good dressing over
in return. As to that, I cannot say, and can only hope that
he did. He seemed to like the port.

My first acquaintance with the Turf may be said to have
commenced on the day that my grandfather presented me with
a beautiful little black pony called ' Dick.' I ivas happy — in
fact I look back upon that day as one of the red-letter days of
my young life. Of course I wanted to ride him at once, but
I hardly realized how many falls lay before me ere I should
attain any great proficiency in the saddle. Talking of saddles
reminds me that I was not allowed one. I was taught to ride
upon a rug with a surcingle strapped round it, and, of course,
no stirrups or anything to steady me. By degrees I learnt to
ride by balance, in much the same way as a cavalry soldier is
taught to do, and managed to stick on fairly well, except
when Dick was a bit above himself ; then my father used to
lunge him in a long rein — with me on him — round and round
a big circle, with the result that I was continually finding
myself seated 'on the floor.'

Nevertheless, I shall always maintain that that is the way

4 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

to teach a lad to ride. Let liim begin with a rug, and learn
to stick to his mount first, and give him a saddle and stirrups
afterwards.

I remained at home, doing much as other boys have
done from time immemorial, getting in and out of the same
juvenile scrapes, till at last I was ' told ofl: ' for school, which
event took place in the year 1836, when I was but eight
years old.

I may remark that going to school in 1836 was not the
same kind of thing as going to school in 1893. No well-
warmed first-class railway-carriage, with rugs and foot- warmers,
and half a-dozen fond relatives to see you off, after, maybe,
an extra good dinner in preparation for the journey. Instead
of this, a shivering little mortal bundled up on to a coach,
after a four or five miles' drive to the trysting-place ; a hurried
good-bye, ' Take care of yourself ! ' and there you were, left to
shift for yourself as best you could, and make friends with
any genial-hearted fellow- passenger who cared to take notice
of you, and nothing very gaudy in the way of comfort to be
expected at your journey's end.

I was sent to a place called Aust-on-the-Severn, nearly
opposite to Chepstow. Such a school as it was, and such a
master ! I regret to say that his name has escaped my memory,
although I have the best of reasons for recollecting him
personally. He was a real first-class brute : I can find no
more suitable terms for him. I was not over-brilliant, and,
above all, I hated arithmetic, and whenever I made a mistake
on my slate he used to come behind me and lift me off the
form by my ears. "Well ! I wasn't quite so weighty as I am
now, but, still, the process was not only very painful but
made my ears stick out at an angle of forty-five degrees,
besides rendering me perfectly deaf in my left ear — a calamity
from which I still suffer, as most of my old friends have
probably discovered before now.

The only satisfaction I have with regard to this fiend in
human form is, that I have every reason to believe that he
ended his days in a lunatic asylum, and I assuredly think that
it was the best place for him.

I will only briefly relate that I next went to school at
Claverton Lodge, Bathwick Hill, Bath, my brother Hugh
joining me there soon afterwards. Bounders and marbles
were our principal amusements ; though I do not know what
the rising generation would say to playing marbles in this
advanced age. We used to smoke some stuff called ' Old

GO TO ETON. 5

Man/ which is in reality the stem of the wild clematis, I
need not explain that in most instances the result was dis-
astrous in the extreme. Snail-shell battles was another great
game. It consisted in pressing the point of one shell against
the point of another till one gave way, the victor then tacking
on to his own shell's score the amount of previous victories
won by his defeated adversary. Shells of 100 and 200 — or,
in other words, conquerors of that number of battles — were
esteemed of great value among the boys, and many a coin
changed hands over a noted champion.

At this time I used to spend my holidays at the Buries,
near Warminster, a small place belonging to my grandfather :
but I have nothing very interesting to record as to my visits
there, or how I contrived to pass the time.

After leaving Claverton Lodge I Avent to read with a tutor
at Winchester, to prepare me for Eton. This may appear
strange — going to Winchester to prepare for Eton, when
Winchester College was, of course, so close ; but, nevertheless,
there I went, and there I remained till I was considered
sufficiently grounded to go to Eton, and thither I was sent in
the month of September, 1842,

Eton ! wiiat boy does not remember going to Eton for the
first time'? Who also does not recall the day upon which,
with keen regret, he said good-bye to his old school ? I do not
mind venturing a little wager that there are veiy few men
who do not look back with some pride, and much pleasure, to
their Eton days.

I went at first to Mr. Evans', a dame's house (now kept by
Miss Evans and still one of the best houses at Eton), he
was father of the present drawing-master of that name, who
at that time was in my remove. I subsequently left there
and went to the house of the Rev. Charles Old Goodford,
who became Head Master, and, eventually. Provost, of the
College.

I was placed in lower fourth, full low down for a lad of
fourteen ; but I made up for it by taking a double remove the
next term. This exploit, perhaps it is unnecessary to state,
I did not ' make a practice of,' for fear that too much might
be expected of me in the future.

I was present at the very last Montem ever held at Eton,
the gathering taking place at ' Salt Hill,' close to Slough. I
remember thinking it rare fun, but an uncommon strange
sight, to see the boys (some of them being in the lower school)
got up as Turks, sailors, Spaniards, gipsies, and almost every

6 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

sort of costume ; while the salt-bearers, as they were called,
levied black-mail on all visitors, even Royalty itself. Large
sums of money were frittered away by boys over their costumes,
and this and other reasons I believe caused its discontinuance
in 1847. There was a considerable amount of eating and
drinking done on Montem days, and one or the other had a
very peculiar effect upon some of my tutor's boys. I presume
it was ' cold salmon,' as usual — anyhow, several were uncommon
lucky to get indoors before lock-up.

No boy was allowed to go on the river until he had passed
in swimming ; but, after a little practice on the strict Q. T.,
I thought I should like to try my hand ; so I sculled up
to Monkey Island, which was most exciting and slightly
dangerous : for, had I been caught, I should have been
swished, to a moral certainty. I passed two masters on the
bank, and, on the principle that a guilty conscience makes
cowards of us all, I made sure I should be nailed. I was not,
however, and rowed boldly on to Monkey and got back again
in time for absence — not a bad performance for a first
attempt.

1 was very fond of football, and our house used to play in
Angelo's field. We were a big, strong lot of lower boys at
my tutor's, and we played one match quite worth recording.
We played an eleven composed of lower boys from the whole
school and beat them. I well recollect that Codrington, the
captain of the boats, an enormously powerful boy, took me up
in his arms and carried me round the field, to show what
amazing thick boots I had on, so as to strike terror into the
hearts of our adversaries before play began,

I used to play cricket in the summer half in Sixpenny, and
other days I would spend on the river (having passed ere this).
I was very fond of punting, and used to have a rare time
killing rats in Cuckoo Weir and the adjoining backwaters.
As is nearly always the case, when a lad attempts to be both
* a dry and wet bob ' — that is, to play cricket and boat on the
river — he seldom excels in either, which was my case ; but I
enjoyed myself none the less for that.

I must now relate one or two of my escapades while at
Eton, and have no sort of doubt that I was not singular in
doing many foolish things, but at the same time it was great
sport.

For instance, one fine summer afternoon, some of the big
functionaries of the City of London were passing up the river
for the purpose of swan-hopping, or marking the Thames

AFTER DEER IN HOME PARK. 7

swans belonging to their special Livery Company. The barge
in which these big-wigs were journeying was moored to a post
just above "Windsor Bridge, while the City magnates visited
the Castle. When they returned, a boy named Moseley, and,
of course, Astley, were taken with a violent desire to cut the
enormous rope which attached no less than sixteen horses to
the barge. This rope was lying on the top of the posts and
rails just opposite Tolladay's boat-house, and the horses were
all yoked and ready for a start to pull the barge up the river.
Moseley and I had only our small pocket-knives, but we took
it in turn to saw away till we had cut the rope half through,
and without our proceedings being noticed by those on board
or ashore, as the one not at work had to cover the operations
of the other. W^e then repaired to a safe and convenient
distance to watch the sport ; thinking that, directly the strain
got fairly on the rope, it would break and land all the party
on their heads ; but, unfortunately for us, we had cut too far
through the rope, and the horses snapped it before it was
barely taut ; consequently they did not half tumble about ;
neither did the swan-hoppers. However, the Civic authorities
were most indignant at having to wait while the rope was
made good, and they searched everywhere for the culprits, and
we were most assiduous in helping them ; but without any
satisfactory result, as far as they were concerned.

Deer-chasing in the Home Park was another little pastime
I used to indulge in. We used to run the deer about in May,
when it was the horn-shedding season, and, by making them
jump the drains, we often made them shed their horns, and
then we picked them up ; but the difficulty was to convey
them home, for it must be remembered that an Eton boy's
short jacket is not the best hide for a crooked and uncommonly
sharp deer's antler. Then the keepers had to be dodged as'
well ; for they had strict orders to prevent us taking the
horns. I have had many a most unpleasant experience of
running through the Park gates with the sharp end of one
of these horns excoriating my person till I could have almost
found it in my heart to throw it away.

Another time I went hunting about and found a pheasant's
nest in the Park, and, like an idiot, I not only took the eggs
and blew them, but I strung them up over the mantelpiece in
my room. My tutor happened to come in, and spotted them
at once, giving me a heavy punishment, and, what was worse,
told me that I was not only a thief, but a poacher. All the
same, I enjoyed the excitement of getting those eggs home.

8 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

I cannot recollect who the two boys were who did it —
possibly they are still alive to testify to the truth of what I
state — but I well remember poor old Dick Meyrick, the
watchmaker, having his face blacked and then well polished
with his own brushes.

I never was one of those who frequented the Cln^istopher
to drink beer, &c., &c. ; but I have often had a run down to
Slough, to share a friendly bowl of punch with three or four
pals.

The fagging at Eton in my day was not so bad as 1 believe
it was earlier, and, being as strong a lad as my fag-master, he
seldom interfered with me if I did not please him. I hated
scraping ham — that was a job I did bar ; for, in the first
place, it isn't easy, and the next, you are more likely to scrape
your knuckles with the scraper than the ham. I was never
really a first-class cook either, which may create some surprise
among those who know that I can appreciate a good dinner ;
but it don't follow that you cannot eat a good dinner because
you cannot cook it !

The toast I made was very middling, and I generally forgot
the eggs till they were like bullets ; but that was a mere
matter of detail, as I used to pop 'em on the table, and bolt
before they were cracked.

I used to nip out of school as quick as possible, and chapel
also, to avoid being caught to fag behind a fives court — a
sport that had no attractions for Astley on a cold day.

One of the most remarkable boys at Eton with me was
McNiven minor ; he was a real wonder. He was in the sixth
form, in the football team, in the cricket eleven, and in the
eight, and upon my life I don't know in which of the three
games he most excelled. He was a brilliant football player,
but a terribly untidy fellow, and his shoes were always down
at heel, so much so indeed that I have often seen his shoe fly
after turning the ball, or when he made a kick. I once saw
him catch and eat a cockchafer for a bet of one shilling. I
hope he liked it. Poor* old fellow ! he came to a sad end.
He w^as staying with his brothers in the Isle of Wight, and
was driving a dog-cart to some place where he was going to
shoot, and his dog was tied behind the cart ; he turned round
to encourage the animal, which was quite a new purchase, and
somehow he lost his balance, fell over the back of the dog-cart
on to his head in the road, and broke his neck. So ended
poor old Snivey, as we used to call him.

I could go on for a long time recounting stories of boys

FELLOW-PUPILS AT GOODFORD'S. 9

that were with me ; but, as I think I have read elsewhere, the
book could not be written that would contain all that should
be said about ' Eton and Eton boys/

I must say a word about the boys at my tutor's. One, a
very fat boy, Carew — whose nickname was Buster — found to
his cost the first day he arrived that his somewhat rounded
proportions were very tempting to boys who were good shots
with a fives-ball. After one day's experience he decided that
it was a rash proceeding on his part to go outside while other
boys were about : so he used to stop in his own room, and
take his exercise while the rest of the boys were in school
or chapel, and, curiously enough, being a new boy, it was
eight or ten days before he came under the Prepositor's
ken.

I never saw such a boy to eat and drink. When he had
a hamper from home — as often happened — he would stow it
away under his bed, and eat the contents at night. I have
often seen him swallow the whole contents of his washing-
jug before turning into bed, and then vociferate for the
unfortunate old boy's maid to bring more water.

The said boy's maid was called ' Bobby,' a dear old soul and
an excellent creature ; but we all did our best to send her to
an early grave, I am afraid. Many a time, when she had set
the tallow dips in their respective candlesticks ready for use,
and left them for a few minutes, she would return to find
them all rammed in topsy-turvy ; or else, perhaps, she would
be coming up the stairs with a tray full of them to distribute,
and very 2)leased to see ' all correct '—when lo and behold !
down would go a mat over the balusters and the whole bag
of tricks would be knocked out of her hands, and she would
shriek out : ' I knows yer : that's Rohhersoii, Morrerson, Jervers,
Pagit, and llasthy at the 'ead of it. I'll let yer tutor know
about it, I will ! ' Poor old soul ! she never did, and we
knew it.

My fellow-pupils at Goodford's were a very good lot, and
several of them are to the front now, so I will not say too
much about them ; but only mention, in addition, the present
Lord Portman, Lord Middleton, Ethelston, major and minor.
Sir William Welby Gregory, and Stuckey Wood. Many also
who Avere with me will recall the names of John Watkins,
Toby Hodgson, Tom Mills, A. Paget, Watson, Codrington,
Harkness, and Bob Honeywood.

I was precious idle, I am afraid, and did no more than I
was obliged, and as little of that ; but I was always very

lo FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

punctual, and, as friend Jorrocks observes, ' Punctuality is
tLe ^erliteness of Princes.' At any rate, I found favour in
consequence in the eyes of Mr. Balston, who took my division
in school, and, to my astonishment, he suggested ' sending me
up for good ' ; but the event never came oif , as he was unsuc-
cessful in finding a copy of my verses which contained more
than the regulation minimum of twelve.

II

CHAPTER II.

Eton Da3^s contiimed — Trials — Missing Verses — Goodford and I Disagree
— An Evening Eaid — Rlienmatic Fever — Leave Eton — Water-Cnre at
Malvern — Asslieton Smith — Doctors all Wrong — Go to Tutor in the
Isle of Wight — Go to Oxford — Hnnting^ — Tandem -Driving — Dodging
the Proctors — Kilcannon Arch — A Cooler in ]\Iercury — Nearly Rus-
ticated— Breaking out of College — Also Breaking in — My Dog Pepper
— Discover that I can Run — Bullingdon — The Drag — Matches and
Sweeps — Collections — The Dean's Advice — I take it — Contemporaries
at Oxford.

Yery soon after this I narrowly missed taking my remove
— it happened in this way. I never was a flyer at verses, but
Welby — who was at my tutor's — was, and I had arranged
with him to be ready to do my verses for me when I went in
to trials. Of course I had to go into school, and was then
handed some English prose to turn into Latin verse of the
ordinary type, dactyls and spondees every alternate line. "Well,
I looked at the paper and saw that it was a bit beyond me ;
so I went up to the presiding master and asked leave to fetch
my Gradus, which I had purposely left at my tutor's. He
said 'Yery well, but be quick, or you will not have time
to do youi- verses.' No, I thought, but some one else will,
and off I started as hard as I could pelt, handed the jjaper to
Welby, who soon knocked off twelve or fourteen lines, with
which — as I fancied — I bolted back to school. Now I had
conceived the idea of putting them into my shoe for safety's
sake, thinking that by so doing I should not be so easily
detected. This I did, and flattered myself upon my ingenuity.
When I got back to my place I busily began to turn
over my Gradus with my left hand, while I proceeded to
scratch my foot with my right, and at the same time search
for my verses ; but, oh dear ! oh dear ! they were gone, and I
was in a nice mess ! However, I just managed to scrape
through trials, but took a terrible iDad place, whereas with
luck I should have done nicely if those verses of Welby' s had

12 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

not worked out of my shoe and fallen into the gutter just
outside my tutor's door ; where I found them on my return,
after trials were over.

I am afraid I used to get very savage with old Goodford, as
he was always pitching into me in pupil-room. One day I
took him up a co^Dy of what I considered first-class verses, and
one line ended in a spondee composed of two monosyllables ;
he promptly put his pen through it, saying, ' IN^ot allowable,
not allowable.' I quoted a similar case out of Yirgil as an
excuse. He looked at me for a minute, and then exclaimed :
' When you can make verses like Yirgil, sir, then you can do
as Yirgil did ; but not till then.'

I recollect one night, when we were all playing at cards,
that he sneaked along the passage very quietly, with his small
oil-lamp, and almost caught us in the act. It came to the
same thing : for the lower boy Avho w^as on guard had gone to
sleep or slunk off, and never gave warning till it was too late
to do anything, except cover up the cards with a newsjDaper
and put the seats back in their places. I think my tutor
must have had information how we w^orked it ; for he walked
straight into the room, ca-lmly looked about him and noted
that there were five or six of us present, and then went to the
table where one boy was diligently reading the newsj^aper
aloud, with his elbows resting upon it. It was no sort of
good, however ; my tutor pulled the paper open and out came
the cards. He then smiled grimly, and placed the only two
chairs in the room at each side of the table, pulled out the
drawer of the bureau to make a third seat, turned the coal-box
up on end for a fourth, and said with a gleam of satisfaction :
' That is what you were doing and how you were sitting when
you heard me in the passage. I shall complain of you all
to-morrow morning and have you well flogged.' As far as I
remember, he kept his word, and it came off.

It is nearly fifty years ago since this happened, but I can
see the whole scene before me at this moment — the fiendish
joy that lit up the old boy's face, and the despair which
pervaded our countenances at the result of our evening's
amusement.

I never got on well with my tutor, and I do not think he
liked me. It seems to me now that he went the wrong way
to work. He always wanted to catch you out through his
own cunning, instead of appealing to your honour to avoid
doing wrong.

However, I had a real jolly time at Eton, and I am proud

SPORT AS A BOY. 13

to think that I had the chance to send my boy there, but I
am getting on too fast now ; still,. I must say there is no
school in the world like Eton, and I hope that my son's boy
(now eight years old) will follow his father and grandfather
at the old place, where they turn a boy out a gentleman and
a man of honour, if not always a great classic or mathe-
matician ; though, mind you, Eton can boast of a few top-
sawyers in that line also. If you cannot manage to com-
bine all, I am game to bet long odds on the two former
qualifications.

Up to this time I have not said anything about shooting,
or how I learned that sport which has afforded me so many
pleasant days, and been the means of introducing me to so
many pleasant people. I always took to shooting like a duck
to water — indeed I may say there was very little in the shape
of sport that I did not take to. My good old father objected
to my carrying a gun till I was sixteen, or, at all events, in
his presence, which made all the diii'erence as far as I was
concerned ; and I believe I first tried my hand and eye
upon the swallows on the downs, not sitting, mind you, but
darting to and fro after their morning meal of flies. I soon
became a deadly shot at wood-pigeons when they came in to
roost of an afternoon, and I had put several screens near the
ponds on the downs, where the birds used to come to drink ;
for in this open country there were no streams — in fact the
nearest running water to Everleigh was four miles off, at
Netheravon, Sir Michael Hicks-Beach's place, where there
was some fairly good trout-fishing, and an occasional pike
or two.

When at home for my holidays I would spend hours in our
woods-, and many a rabbit, hawk, and even squirrel, fell to
my trusty single barrel. I also learnt much of the manners
and customs of a litter of cubs that one of the keepers had
wired in, in a thick young fir plantation, where an artificial
earth had been made for them, and where they were taken as
soon as they could feed themselves. More than once I have
tried them with wood-pigeon, rabbit, and rat : they almost
invariably took the rat for choice ; for I have often waited in
hiding to see them come out of their earth and select the one
or other of the dainty morsels proffered for their acceptance.

Of course, when the hunting began and the hand-reared
young pheasants were able to take care of themselves, the
wire was removed, and whenever the hounds met at Everleigh
it was curious to see this happy family race back to the spot

14 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

where their artificial home — now, alas ! closed — had once been.
Both the old keeper and I knew each of these cubs (five I
think) by sight. The biggest we called * Lion/ and another
we christened ' Curly-tail/ because, whilst in captivity, he
had by some means got a kink in his brush. I do not
recommend this mode of preventing foxes preying on young
pheasants, for when these cubs were found by the hounds they
seemed to have no notion of taking to fresh ground and
making for any distant covert, but kept ringing about our
own woods, and I verily believe they all suffered martyrdom
before the first of November.

I had to miss one term at Eton owing to a bad attack of
rheumatic fever, caused by jumping into a ditch full of water
after the ball, when playing football, and, of course, never
changing my clothes till long after. This happened just
before the Christmas holidays began, and I first felt the
eifects of my folly a few days later, when out shooting at
Everleigh. Before night I was in great pain and very ill.
The doctor was sent for, one of the old-fashioned sort who
believed that bleeding was a sure cure for all ailments. At
any rate he bled me in both arms till I fainted. The next
day the rheumatism flew to my heart and they cupped me.
It seemed to me as if they had drawn the last drop of blood
out of me, and I was on the point of death for several days.
I remember, quite well, hearing the doctors say, * What a
pity it was such a promising lad should die so young ! ' So
I thought ; but I was worth a dozen dead boys, and, thanks
to old Dr. Tatham, of Salisbury, who, by the bye, used to
drive twenty miles to Everleigh and twenty back to see me, I
pulled through.

When I got strong enough I travelled up to London in
grandfather's old chariot, and that pretty near finished me off.
I consulted several doctors, who all said I should never be
able to go up-stairs or walk fast without having palpitation
of the heart, which shows that those learned gentlemen are
not always right, seeing that I have played many a good
game at football and cricket since, and few men have run
more foot-races than your humble servant.

While I was so bad with rheumatism, the celebrated old
Tom Assheton Smith, of hunting fame, and who kept the
hounds at Tedworth, four miles from Everleigh, persuaded
my father to send me to Malvern to try the water-cure. He
swore by it — in fact, it was a regular hobby of his. I was
sent to the famous Dr. Gully's establishment there; and a

MATRICULATE AT OXFORD. 15

nice journey it was, as I had to go nearly the whole way by
coach. When I did arrive I was never much more inclined
to have a good long sleep ; but, instead of that, I was roused
up at 6.30 A.M. the following morning, and told by the
attendant to get out of bed ; he then calmly spread a wet
sheet for me to lie on, afterwards wrapping me up in it as
tight as a drum. It was just as if I was bandaged, for I
could not move my arms ; he then placed two or tln^ee
blankets over me and informed me that ' he would be back in
half-an-hour.' I was then unswathed and put in a cold Sitz
bath for ten minutes, after wdiich I had to drink two tumblers
of cold water. I was next told to go for a walk and then
come to breakfast. As all this took place in winter, with
snow on the ground, I leave it to my readers to imagine how
thoroughly I enjoyed it (T). I have never thought much of
the Eechabites ever since.

Be that as it may, I believe the treatment did me good in
the long run, as, though I had occasionally a touch of lumbago,
I have never suffered from rheumatism to any extent from
that time.

I had now left Eton, after being there close on four years,
and sorry I was to go ; but I had to prepare for Oxford, so I
went to a tutor at Brixton,^ in the Isle of Wight, not far
from Blackgang Chine. There I had rather a good time of
it ; but any one who has been to that part of the Isle of
Wight knows what a beautiful spot that Undercliff really is.

I went to Oxford University in the autumn of 1846, and
matriculated as a gentleman commoner of Christ Church,
which distinction — for the sake of the uninitiated — simply
means a few trifling privileges, and a slight difference in
3^our cap and gown, in addition to one great advantage — viz.
paying double for almost everything connected with the
College. Old Dean Gainsford insisted upon my being a
gentleman commoner, one reason being that I was the son of
a baronet, and a second, that all the Astleys were so trouble-
some he was in hopes that the extra expense might have a
deterrent effect on my father, and cause him to send me to
some other College. It did not, however, and I w^as shortly
installed in my father's old rooms in Peckwater Quad.

The sudden change from a boy's life with a small allowance

of pocket-money to a magnificent income of £400 a year and

a servant, had a bad effect on my previous economical style

of living, and I launched out uncommon ; but I have regretted

^ Also spelt 'Brightlielmstone.'

i6 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

it ever since : for I honestly look back on those twelve
months I spent at Oxford as the worst time of my whole
career, or, at any rate, the most wasted. I knew that I
was only there for a short time — in fact, until I got my
commission in the Guards ; so I did but little work, and
verily believe I knew less when I left than when I went to
Oxford.

I used frequently to shirk chapel, for I could not see the
benefit likely to accrue from hearing a few prayers mumbled
in Latin by some College official who seemed in as great
a hurry to get through his task as I was to get out of
chapel again. Sometimes my servant forgot to call me, then
I had to provide myself with the prescribed poena of 100
lines of Latin, or 200 of Greek for a change. All these
punishments could be bought ready to hand of a worthy of
the name of Boddington, and at the following rate — Is. 6fZ.
per 100 Latin lines, 2s. per 100 for Greek. I seldom went
near ' Lectures,' and consequently cannot recollect anything
that went on there. Every Saturday I had to write a theme
on some subject or other, and more than once I copied an
article out of Bell's Life, thereby showing the sporting instinct
that lay dormant in me even in those days. Occasionally the
old Dean found me out, and I paid the penalty with five or
six hundred lines of Latin or Greek, all supplied at retail
price by the faithful Boddington. At other times I would
sally forth to Randall's, the hosier in the High Street, who,
with the assistance of his talented wife, produced an essay
which was much appreciated by the Dean, price — a crown for
the job, and cheap at the money.

Of course I went in for hunting. Every sort of sport has
always had its attractions for me, and this particular pastime
is second to none, and though expensive, is not to be com-
pared with racing in that respect, as, alas ! I know to my
cost. I used to hire horses from Charles Symonds, who was
well known at Oxford in my day and long afterwards. I
also got horses occasionally from Tollit, another livery-stable
keeper. I generally sent my hunter on to covert, and would
drive to the meet, with a friend, in a dog-cart, also hired.
We frequently sent a leader on in advance, and, when well
clear of the town, would put him to, and complete our
tandem ; but, as I knew very little about the art of driving
tandem, we often came to grief : for our leader had an
awkward trick of turning round and looking you in the face,
with the result that both horses became restive and smashed

BLOCKING UP KILCANNON ARCH. 17

something. On one occasion they broke the shaft between
them, and as we were a mile from the meet, at the very least,
we had to toss up who should drag the cart into Woodstock —
not much catch with top-boots and breeches on ! When
things went smoothly it was great fun, and especially with a
tandem ; for, of course, it was forbidden, and we had to dodge
the proctors, who were constantly on the look-out for us at
the toll-bar, just outside Oxford, as we were returning home.

My first term at Oxford was remarkable for the very heavy
floods. The Thames overflowed all the meadows for miles,
and while the water was still out there was a severe frost,
which produced some first-class ice. We had some real good
hockey — one of the best games, in my humble opinion, that a
man can play.

There was a precious mischievous lot at Christ Church in my
day, and we used to take a pride in annoying the old Dean in
every conceivable way. On one occasion there was a heavy
fall of snow, and, after a council of war, we decided to stop
up Kilcannon archway, wdiich led from Peckwater to Tom
Quad. We began collecting snow about 11 p.m., when all
was quiet, piling it up on tea-trays and tipping the contents
into blankets, which were then conveyed and emptied in the
archway. Finding that solidity was necessary, we borrowed
chairs (without permission) from unpopular men's rooms,
likewise tables, doors from outbuildings — till we had a fairly
good barricade formed ; then we poured water on the whole
work, and very soon it froze hard and solid as a rock ; so we
contemplated our four hours' work with considerable satis-
faction. Our reason for carrying out this feat of engineering
was that, as long as the archway was blocked, W9 could not
get through to go to chapel ; consequently, could not be
punished for non-attendance.

We were done ' like a dinner,' all the same ; for, when my
servant called me in the morning, he said that ' a gang of
navvies had been brought into College and had cut a way
through the arch, leaving a gangway quite sufficient for us to
pass through ' : so we had all our work for nothing, and there
was a tremendous row about it into the bargain, though I
think no one got nailed.

It will easily be conceived that, among the undergraduates
of Christ Church, there were some obnoxious individuals. One
man in particular was selected for summary punishment, on
account of his possessing a slight failing in the shape of ' tell-
ing tales out of school/ as the saying is. We determined to

V

i8 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

be level with him ; so a few choice spirits — need I say I was
one ? — sallied to his rooms, pulled him out of bed, and, hurry-
ing him across the gravel Quad in his nightshirt and with
bare feet, we pitched him neck and crop into the basin of the
big fountain called 'Mercury.' Unfortunately, I was too
tender-hearted, and, fearing the poor devil might drown, I
assisted him out ; but in return I suppose he must have
reported me, for I was sent for the next morning by Dr. Jelf,
the Senior Censor, who informed me that ' I was the head of
this disgraceful and dastardly proceeding.' Not quite relish-
ing the gentleman's language I got a trifle short with him, and
I remember telling him ' that, if he had not been a Master of
Arts and an official of the College, I'd be shot if I would not
send him flying through the window ! ' — which happened to
be open at the time, and there was a fair drop down into the
courtyard below.

He tiu-ned white with rage or fear, I can't say which, and
complained to the Dean forthwith. In company with two or
three others, I was ushered into the Dean's presence shortly
after, and I only escaped being rusticated through the dear
old gentleman's love and esteem for my family, some of whom
he had known in Somersetshire ; and, though two men actually
were sent down, I was only confined to walls (much the same
as what is known to soldiers as C.B.^) for the rest of the
term.

I had to employ all sorts of stratagems to get out of College
without being detected, and one of my favourite dodges was to
slip into Christ Church meadows, which were considered in
bounds ; from thence into a boat, in the bottom of which I
laid snug, and covered by a sack or something of the kind, till
a w^aterman rowed me down to a convenient spot for disem-
barkation, and out I would step when all was safe and make
my way into town by a circuitous route. This was all very
well as far as getting out went ; but I had to get in, and as
the College gates were shut at 9 p.m., and a porter was always
on guard there, his vigilance had to be diverted by a pal, who
would call his attention to the Great Bear or some equally
interesting constellation, or perhaps an imaginary chimney on
fire, and as soon as he moved sufliciently far from the wicket
to admit of my making, a dash for it, ' through ' I used to go
with my gown over my head, so that he could not recognize
me, and make for anybody's rooms but my own, and, the oak
once ' sported ' (all College men know what this means),.
^ Couiiued to barracks.

DEVELOP A TURN OF SPEED. 19

Cerberus was baffled and I was safe ; but, bless my soul ! it
took a lot of trouble and entailed a deal of hard work.

One of the rules of Christ Church was that no dogs mieht
be kept by the undergraduates ; now it so happened that my
friend Baillie (now Lord Haddington), whose rooms were
exactly opposite to mine, always kept a terrier, and this same
terrier had a family, one of which he gave to me. In course
of time it became a most intelligent and agreeable companion,
and I christened him ' Pepper.' One morning, when I was
coming out of chapel, I happened to be walking with Dr. Jelf,
the Senior Censor, and, to my horror, I saw ' Pepper ' ap-
proaching us with every sign of unbounded satisfaction at
meeting his master. Naturally, Dr. Jelf saw that the dog
belonged to me, and told me that I must not keep the animal
in College, and that the next time he saw it I should be dis-
commonsed. "Well, I hoped for the best, and that fate would
keep ' Pepper ' and Dr. Jelf apart ; but I could not part with
the dog, come what might ; and, as luck would have it, I
managed to keep ' Pepper ' out of sight for some considerable
time. The evil day came, however ; for, one fine sunshiny
morning, 'Pepper' selected the steps leading up to Dr. Jelf's
door for his siesta, and very shortly after I got a notice to say
that I was discommonsed for keeping a dog contrary to the
statutes. This meant my not being allowed to have my
breakfast (or commons) brought from the College kitchen,
which was situated at the extreme end of Tom Quad, and
adjoining the large banquet-hall. I at once made up my
mind that it would never do to go without breakfast, so that I
had better go and fetch it myself. I watched my opportunity,
darted into the kitchen, seized half a chicken, and hurried off
to my rooms with my prize, and it was thus that I discovered
that I possessed a fair turn of speed ; for, though two men
cooks (both young and active fellows) raced after me, I easily
left them behind and gained my rooms, where I devoured my
breakfast in peace. This course I had to pursue for some-
thing like a fortnight, which, fortunately, brought me to the
end of term.

During the summer we had plenty of cricket, and, though
not a finished performer, I got my fair share of runs in most
matches that we played. The scene of action was Bullingdon
Common, where we had a club, and round the outside of the
cricket-ground there was a good stretch of turf, on which we
used to ride races. I was fortunate in hiring rather a useful
mare, that I christened ' Ochre ' on account of her having

20 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

managed to secure me a certain amount of gold in the various
matches and sweej^stakes in which she took part ; and, although
I was not quite as good as poor ' Fred Archer ' in the saddle,
and not a very long way in front of ' George Fordham,' I
contrived to pay my expenses, which were somewhat heavy.

We had a dinner-club connected with the cricket-club, at
which we made mei-ry — as far as I can recollect — about once
a week. To write about the Bullingdon Club and its peculiar
features would be waste of time, as all Oxford men are more
or less acquainted with the ins and outs of that celebrated
social gathering. I will only say that we used to meet there
about once a week, and as it was some little distance out of
Oxford, we not infrequently raced back in our dog-carts after
dinner — a by no means safe proceeding. Although I never
quite got upset, I went very near to it several times, more
especially at the toll-bar.

Talking of Bullingdon Common, I was present one evening
at dinner when a bet was made that no horse in Oxford could
jump thirty feet. The backers of the horse had several
animals to choose from, but not one of the lot succeeded in
clearing the required distance, which was attempted over a
low hurdle. Just as all present had given up the idea of
finding any horse that could accomplish the feat, Frank
Barchard rode up on his horse ' Sailor,' who had frequently
distinguished himself when ridden with the drag, and the very
first time that he was put at the hurdle the horse cleared the
thirty feet and landed the money. This, it must be allowed,
was an extraordinary performance in cold blood ; although I
am aware that the celebrated steeplechaser, ' The Chandler,' is
credited with having cleared thirty-nine feet over a small
brook at Warwick Steeplechases. This horse ' Sailor ' was
an excitable pulling animal, and one that always jumped as
far as he could over ever so small a place.

Talking of the drag, I omitted to mention that a good lot of
men, over a country, used to risk their necks at this exciting
amusement. I well recollect Lords Darnley and Bibblesdale,
Ned Burton, George Lawrence (author of GiLy Livingstone,
&c.). Jemmy Allgood (who holds a living somewhere in the
North, I believe), and Frank Barchard, besides heaps of other
good men and true, fond of excitement and sport ; and, mind
you, a fast spin with the drag over a stilf country is not quite
child's play, even if you are well mounted, which was not
always the case with some of us.

I generally drove a dog-cart to the meet of the drag, stored

BID ADIEU TO OXFORD. 21

with creature- comforts for the benefit of those who took part
in the sport, and to be handy for picking up the wounded or
those who had lost their horses after a fall, and I need not
say that falls were neither few nor far between on most
occasions.

At the end of the summer term (1847) I had to go in for
' Collections,' which was a sort of rehearsal of the work sup-
posed to have been done in ' Lectures ' ; but as I had J3ersist-
ently shirked ' Lectures ' to the best of my power, I felt that
only a piece of real good luck could pull me through. The
old Dean and three or four other learned divines sat in a line
on one side of the table, and on my being called up I was told
to turn to a certain page and line of some Greek play — I think
Euripides — and ordered 'to construe till stopped.' I glanced
down the page, and at once discovered that the subject w^as
entirely unknown to me. However, I picked out two proper
names, and at once decided in my own mind that they were
the names of a soldier of the period ' courting his gal,' and
proceeded glibly to fit in the context to suit my supposition ;
but, alas ! I had not proceeded more than about five or six
lines before the old Dean and his coadjutors were convulsed
with laughter, and the former stopped any further progress of
my interesting narrative by addressing me in these solemn
words : ' Sir, you are a most extraordinary young man, and
evidently are not aware that you have mistaken the names of
two famous warriors setting forth to battle, for those of a man
and woman ardently attached to each other. Yon are doing
no good up here, and I really should advise you to go down.'
I replied : ' I am entirely of your opinion, sir, and will readily
support any statement to that effect that you may think
proper to send to my father.'

The good old man did write to my father, and my visit to
Alma Mater was thus brought to a somewdiat abrupt conclu-
sion ; for I left Oxford very shortly afterwards, and, as I have
already stated, I confess that I spent a most unprofitable time
there. I found, on reckoning up, that my bills amounted to
about four hundred pounds, and as I was well aware that my
father would be seriously inconvenienced to pay them, I had
to borrow the money from our family lawyer ; thus laying the
foundation of an amount of indebtedness that I have never
really recovered from.

I here append a list of a few of the names of well-known
men who were at Oxford University in my day : — •

Lords ISTorthbrook and Kimberley, Johnny Bulteel, Ashley

22 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Stnrt, Peter Dyne (of Merton), Hon. George Lascelles, Hon.
Francis Lawley, Tom Connolly, Colonel Luttrell, Archibald
Peel, George Glyn (second Lord Wolverton), Lords Darnley
and Ribblesdale, Jemmy Allgood, E. C. Burton, George
Lawrence (author of Guy Livingstone, &c.), J. Hurst (now
Edge of Strelley), Packington (Sir John), Robert Hay Murray
(son of the Bishop of Rochester), Frank Buckland (the well-
known naturalist and M.D.), Stumpy Dick (now Rev. Richards),
Shiney Lyall, Jemmy Naper (a crack rider), Bob Hole (now
Dean Hole), Henry Lambton, Stony Ethelston (now Peel of
Bryn-y-Pys), and several others, too numerous to mention, all
of whom will, I feel sure, forgive my sin of omission.

23

CHAPTER III.

Go back to Oxford to Settle up — Go to Switzerland — My Life there —
Tobogganing down the Slopes — Hotel at Vevey — Ordered Home — •
Gazetted to Scots Guards — Chartist Riots — I Out-manceuvre the Colonel
— Drill with Coke — Much Pleased at becoming a Full-blown Soldier —
Brown Bess — Wellington Barracks — Go on Leave — Hunting from
Everleigh — The Old Squire and Leo — Go on a Sporting Tour — Fall
into Good Hands — Kill my Horse over a Stile — Forty Gone — Men
I Met.

I WENT back to Oxford for a few days of the following term
to settle up matters and pay my debts. While there, I ran a
race over hurdles with H. Blundell, at Biillingdon. As I
waited a little time for him to appear, I proposed a sweep-
stakes amongst those present, that we should put in five
shillings each, and promising to give them all five yards start.
Some eight or ten toed the scratch, and I won very easily.
Then came the match with Blundell. I also won that, but
got beat at the third attempt by Fred Eden, with wdiom I had
a match some time after with the same result.

In the month of September 1847, 1 was sent to Switzerland
by way of brushing up my French, and lived with an old
Pasteur at Basset, near Clarens, between Yevey and Chillon
on the Lake of Geneva, in the Canton Yaud. The house was
charmingly situated in a vineyard overlooking the lake, with
the snow-capped peaks of the Dent du Midi in the distance,
and immediately behind our dwelling were the pine-clad slopes
of the Dent de Jaman ; so that, cast my eyes in which direction
I pleased, I was rewarded by a sight of some of the grandest
scenery in the canton. I was, by way of learning French
from a native professor, at Lausanne, and for a time I
attended regularly, and acquired a certain amount of know-
ledge of the French language ; but the charms of those beauti-
ful mountains were too much for me, and, instead of walking
the flat road to Lausanne, I used to spend most of my time
upon the summits of the lower range of mountains. When-

^4 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

ever the weather permitted I rose an hour or two before sun-
rise, so as to reach those parts of the pine-woods before the
sun made its appearance in the heavens, the effect as seen
from where I stationed myself being grand in the extreme.
There were some birds called gelinottes, a species of tree-grouse,
which frequented those pine-slopes, and I spent hours trying
to discover their whereabouts : for, although I could hear
them calling to one another, it was no easy task to find them,
hidden as they were in the thick and tangled undergrowth
amongst the black pines.

There were several chasseurs in the district. One of these,
a wonderfully keen sportsman named Jenton, used to join me
at a chalet high up in the mountains, and we frequently spent
the whole day looking for these birds and an occasional hare.
Jenton' s French was a broad patois of the country, as you
may readily gather when I tell you that he called a hare a
' loivra,' instead of lievre, and that this somewhat interfered
with my acquiring a genuine Parisian accent. I thoroughly
enjoyed, above all things, spending a day entirely alone on
these mountains with my gun, and accompanied by an old
pointer called ' Brilliant,' whose only merit was his nose, and
whose one idea consisted in running in and chasing anything
alive, no matter what.

When the cold weather set in and the whole district was
covered with snow we had some rare chases after hares, by
tracking them in the snow to their forms. They often led us
a long dance up the mountain-side, and oftener still we had
to make a long detour to get above them, so as to secure a
shot. I had very good fun at this time with a species of
toboggan or small sledge, which the natives call a lowjine.
The young men of the neighbourhood used to make up parties
and climb up the mountain tracks where the snow had been
rendered hard and well caked by the downward passage of the
pine trunks, which, earlier in the season, are cut down and
trimmed and then eventually started down these shoots to the
shores of the lake. Of course these said shoots made a capital
track for our toboggans, and down we used to go at an appal-
ling pace. There were two methods of placing yourself upon
these toboggans, which were about three feet long and about
two feet wide. You could either sit and guide yourself with
your heels in front of you and holding on with your hands ;
or you laid down on your stomach on the toboggan and guided
yourself by sticking your toes into the snow behind you as
you went down head first. The pace was regulated by the

NO OPINION OF SWISS WINE. 23

amount of nerve that you possessed, and I soon found that I
could go just as fast as my neighbours. On rather larger
machines of this description we used at times to carry a lady
on our laps, but there were not very many of the fair sex who
cared to risk their necks in those rapid descents.

During my sojourn on the Lake of Geneva a disturbance
between the Conservatives and Radicals of that part of Swit-
zerland broke out. The Swiss having no standing army, the
militia were called out, and a very fine body of men they
were, I must say. I often went to their camp in the Canton
Yalais, not far from where the river Ehone empties itself into
the lake, and indulged in a friendly glass with my neighbours
from Basset. The opposing forces never came to blows, as
their differences were all amicably settled ; but, as the militia
had been called out at the time of the vintage, all the able-
bodied men, from sixty down to eighteen, had to join the
colours ; so that there were only women and boys left at home
to gather the grapes and carry them to the cellars. The old
gentleman with whom I was en pension asked me to super-
intend a number of the large wooden tubs that were filled
with pressed grapes, and brought by those employed to the
large vats in the cellars, and thus I acquired some insight
into the method of manufacturing Swiss wine. I used to go
round every Sunday afternoon with the Pasteur and taste the
liquor that had been made, and at last I became quite a con-
noisseur of the ' home brand,' and, though some of it was not
bad, yet I never tasted a real good glass of Swiss wine. It
has a certain potency about it, for I have often seen the men
very unsteady in their gait after a couple of bottles of it.

At Yevey there was a capital hotel, Les Trois Couronnes,
at which most of the tourists used to stay, and every Sunday
afternoon I used to walk into the town and dine at the table
d'hote, and met there many acquaintances either coming from
or returning home to England. The six months I spent in
Switzerland were some of the pleasantest of my life, and the
grandeur of the magnificent scenery, often reflected in the
waters of the lake beneath, lent a charm to my existence
which I never have realized in any other clime.

One day, early in February 1848, I received a letter from
home, telling me that I should very shortly be gazetted as
ensign to the Scots Fusilier Guards. My many friends gave
me a parting dinner, and with a fond adieu I left as honest,
hard-working, and natural set of men as ever existed, and,
though I lived a rather less polished life among them than

26 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

I did when an undergraduate at Oxford, yet this life with
them was far more suited to my taste than the other, and I
shall always look back to my sojourn en Suisse with lively
satisfaction, one great beauty of it being that I ran up no
bills.

I duly arrived at Everleigh, and found all my people
flourishing, and, after remaining a few days and till my name
appeared in the Gazette, I went up to London and joined my
battalion, then quartered at Portman Street Barracks, where
I had already commenced my drill prior to the outbreak of
the Chartist Riots in April 1848.

All the troops in London were confined to barracks during
the day as well as at night. One evening an order arrived
that all ofiicers were to be confined to barracks also, and, as
there was no accommodation for us all, we had to sleep on the
floor of two rooms set apart, as a rule, for the adjutant. Our
commanding officer, good old Billy Ridley, who was celebrated
for his love of eating and drinking, ordered in a plentiful supply
of solids and fluids, and, after we had done ample justice to
both, dear old Billy thought that he would gauge the capabili-
ties of the new ensign and test his liquor-carrying powers.
In the innocence of his heart he had forgotten the fact that
I was not a boy fresh from Eton, or some other public school,
but a man of twenty, who had been to College, and, therefore,
was in a position to judge how to mix my liquors ; conse-
quently, when the Colonel graciously invited me to join him
in a friendly glass of brandy-and-water, I had sufficient sense
to observe how very much more alcohol he was good enough
to put into my glass than his own, before adding the water ;
but, his attention being momentarily distracted by some one
or something, I took the opportunity of changing the two
tumblers, and when he pledged me in a bumper I took mine
down with a gusto which I have no doubt much pleased him,
as he thought that I had got the stiff glass ; so, when he
followed my example and took a good long pull at his allow-
ance, he very nearly choked, and was considerably riled when
he saw me laughing, and soon tumbled to the fact that I had
had the audacity to change the glasses which he had mixed
with so much cunning and forethought. I thought to myself
— though I did not dare to say so aloud — that it was a clear
case of ' biter bit.'

Apropos of the Chartist Riots, I remember what a quantity
of preparations, offensive and defensive, were made on this
occasion, principally in the houses of the ' bloated aristocracy '

LEARNING MY DRILL. 27

of Belgravia and other fashionable quarters ; for it was upon
this class of the community that the Chartists had given out
that they intended to wreak vengeance. It will hardly be
credited, yet I can affirm that in more than one half-open
window of a house might be seen the muzzle of a small cannon
(supposed to be loaded with grape and canister), ready to pour
forth death and destruction into the close ranks of the mob
should attack be threatened. All these alarming preparations
may possibly have had a good effect, although they were
never actually brought into action, as, after a week or ten
days, the riots were at an end, and tranquillity reigned
supreme.

Wenny Coke joined about the same time, and we were
drilled together ; but he had the advantage of me, seeing that
he had exchanged from another regiment, and therefore found
the drill far easier than I did, being more alive to the instruc-
tions of Drill-Sergeant Mills, a most excellent, stalwart, and
genuine type of what a non-commissioned officer in the Guards
should be. I used to get very sick of the continual morning
and evening drills : five or ten minutes of the goose-step,
which consisted of first balancing yourself on the ball of one
foot while you pointed the other at an elegant angle in front
and behind you alternately, without, as it is termed, ' gaining
ground,' Vvas most wearisome. However, ' all's well that ends
well,' and in time I finished my drill and blossomed out into
a real live Ensign, fit for duty, to say nothing of death or
glory. Well, no dog was ever prouder of a new tin collar,
or peacock of the elevation of his tail, than was I when first
I decked myself out in my beautiful lily-white ducks, my
brand-new swallow-tailed coat with its rich bullion and
gorgeous epaulettes, the whole surmounted with the shag-
giest of bearskins, my then slim waist — it has increased
slightly since that day — being encircled by my sword-belt,
from which dangled my well-polished skewer ; and it was a
proud moment indeed when, at my first guard-mounting, I
had the honour of carrying the Queen's colours.

I think at my first guard I was under the watchful eye of
Colonel Onslow, commonly known in the brigade as ' Dick.'
He was a man of considerable resource, and with great kind-
ness of heart and forethought for his own advantage, and he
undertook to teach me the aristocratic and bewitching game
of shove-halfpenny. This game needs a considerable amount
of practice, and I was surprised by the few points that my
commanding officer managed to defeat me by ; but as I

28 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

improved, so did he, and I very soon discovered that, to use
his own term, ' he could shove a pretty halfpenny.' I there-
upon made up my mind that, if I wanted to increase my
income, I had better leave the intelligent Dick alone, or play
for honour and glory only.

My time whilst on duty in London passed, I suppose, much
in the way as that of other young officers. Morning drills in
the Park, a week of barrack duty, an occasional court-martial
■ — such was the usual routine. The Prince Consort reviewed
the regiment on one or two occasions in Hyde Park, and I
think it was in the following autumn that we moved to
Windsor.

Of course, the drill in those days was a very different
business from wdiat it is now. We were only provided
then with the good old ' Brown Bess,^ which was loaded from
the muzzle, and the cartridges forced home with a ramrod, the
men having to bite the end off the cartridge and shake the
powder into the barrel — a rather neat performance to manage
without getting your mouth full of saltpetre ; and yet, though
it was a long process, it was extraordinary to note the pre-
cision with which the whole manoeuvre was executed of ram-
ming home the ball, the two smart taps, the withdrawal of
the rod and return of the same — all this being done with the
precision of a machine. This fine old weapon did not carry
above fifty yards point blank, yet I fancy that the men took
more pains with their aim than they do now, and for this
reason : they knew well enough in those days that, having
once fired, it would be a certain length of time before they
could put in another shot, consequently they did their best
to make that shot tell ; but now, in the era of quick-firing
weapons, especially in action, the loading is executed so
rapidly that precision of aim suffers in proportion — at any
rate, in my humble opinion, Tommy Atkins now-a-days wastes
a terrible sight of cartridges. I do not think we practised
much at the ranges in those times, and Chichester is the only
place that I can call to mind at which we did so.

On the 1st of vSeptember, 1848, the battalion moved to
Wellington Barracks, at that time only capable of accommo-
dating one battalion of Guards, and I think my turn for leave
came in the winter months. I used to hunt from Everleigh
with the Tedworth when old Squire Assheton Smith used
to show such rare sport in that open country. There were
parts of the vale of Pewsey which w^ere stiff' enough to suit
any glutton, but all the so-called Salisbury Plain required was

SQUIRE ASSHETON SMITH. 29

a horse with a good turn of speed and no special fencing
powers. The old Squire used to ride some rare good horses,
giving long prices for them, too. I well recollect a chestnut
horse of his called ' Fire-King ' : the old gentleman always
rode him in a gag, and, as he had undeniable hands, he
managed him right enough ; but everybody had not his gift,
and Fire-King was not every one's horse in consequence.

I came to the conclusion that, if I wanted to hunt, I must
attain the dignity of keeping a horse of my own ; for our
friend of Handley Cross fame says, that 'a horse of your
own is one of the first things to see to wdien you propose
to go hunting ; as two men on a horse do not look sportsman-
like.^ Therefore I went to TattersalFs, and became the proud
possessor of an animal called ' Leo.' I believe this same Leo
had won the Debdale Stakes at Warwick two years following.
He was none too sound, and his temper was simply awful.
He never would stand still a second to let you mount him,
and your only chance, without two men to hold him, was to let
him get his head down and nibble the grass : then, if you were
very sharp and watched your opportunity, you might nip on to
his back before he realized what you were about. I merely
mention this to show that he was not the sort of horse to suit
old Squire Assheton Smith, who I believe, at the time I speak
of, usually mounted his horse from a chair in the large con-
servatory (or winter-garden, as it really was) at Tedworth.
However, he was fairly active for his years, as I have often
seen him change horses by having the fresh horse led close up
on the near side of him, and then vault from one horse's back
to the other without touching ground. This, of course, is a
common trick amongst huntsmen, etc., but it takes a bit of
doing all the same.

Apropos of Leo and Squire Smith : we one day found a fox
under Sidbury Hill, on the open downs ; he got about a couple
of hundred yards' start of the hounds, and we ran him in view
nearly the whole way for four miles over the open, just skirt-
ing one plantation and a small patch of gorse, finally running
him to ground in one of our Everleigh coverts called ' The
Ashes.' In this really sharp galloj) I happened to be off at
the ' fall of the flag' with my old screw, which, mind you, had
only cost me nineteen guineas, while the Squire on his four-
hundred guinea Fire-King could never catch me. After we
had run about two miles I heard a voice calling out : ' Here,
I'll buy that horse.' ' No, you won't, Squire,' I shouted back.
' I'll give you double what you gave for him, do you hear % '

30 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

he yelled out. I made no reply. Then he shouted again,
' I'll give you four times as much for him/ and when we
pulled up at the covert side he was real keen for a deal ; but
I said to him : ' He would be no use to you, sir, if you bought
him, for if you had him a month you would never be able to
get on his back.' Here I jumped off and showed him all the
artifice and cunning, to say nothing of activity, that it required
to get back into the saddle. The game old gentleman laughed
heartily, and I am inclined to believe thought a good deal
more of m.e from that day forth, and was very kind and civil
to me, which, mind you, was saying a good deal for him ;
inasmuch as his temper was uncommon queer, to say the
least of it, and very few days passed but what he exhibited it
in the field.

One day when his hounds were running hard they swung to
the left, having overrun the scent a trifle, and an old Colonel,
Wroughton — who lived at Wilcot, in the Pewsey Vale, and
had hunted many years, and always been on the best of terms
with the old Squire — could not pull up his horse in time to
prevent touching one of the hounds, who sang out lustily.
The Squire rode up and used the most fearful language, calling
the Colonel every name under the sun. The old man, who
was a real good plucked one, was not to be beat, and let him
have it back, and I verily believe, if they had not run short
of breath, the two old warriors would be there now. I,
happening to be nearest to them, was called upon by the
Colonel to testify to the opprobrious epithets that had been
applied to him. But, ' all's well that ends well,' and before
the hounds went home peace was made by a third party, and
these two fine old sportsmen were as good friends again as
ever. Nevertheless, I do not think I have ever seen two old
gentlemen quite so angry with each other before or since, and
I fancied every moment one or other would have a fit, and
I will take odds it was very nearly- coming off.

At that time several men used to keep their horses at
Andover and hunt with the Tedworth ; among them were old
General Shubrick and Colonel Lascelles, commonly called
* Bacchus ' — I presume from the rotundity of his person and
his ability to stow away an unlimited amount of liquor in his
capacious barrel.

At that date he commanded the Grenadier Guards. He
always rode the same class of horse — strong, underbred, bony
animals, given to trotting rather than galloping ; and when
doing his level best, standing up in his stirrups and urging

A SPORTING TOUR. 31

on his steed in wild career, he presented the queerest figure
imaginable, his legs being very short, and his horse's very-
long, which made it look still funnier. If he got off, he could
never get on again, unless the nature of the ground or a heap
of stones assisted him to reach his stirrup; and on these
occasions, if my brother and I were out, we used to flip stones
at his horse, to make him fidget and prevent the poor old boy
getting up. He had a patch over one eye, so that we used to
exercise a certain amount of caution and ingenuity in order to
get the blind side of him when titivating up his horse with
small pebbles.

General Shubrick nearly always used to ride thoroughbred
horses, and amongst them was one he was very proud of — a
stallion who had run third or fourth in some Derby, I forget
which — and on this horse in particular he would fancy himself
a goodish bit when got up without spot or blemish at the
covert side. But his day for riding to hounds was over, and
he used to content himself with cantering about, and amusing
himself, without any special regard for the line of the fox.
He often had as many as four horses out, each ridden by a
groom as faultlessly attired as his master. These two old
worthies, General Shubrick and Colonel Lascelles, used to put
up at the Star Hotel, which was quite an imjoortant house in
those days, but must now have degenerated from want of
trade.

I think it was in the early part of 1849 that I went on
what I have always called my ' Soapy Sponge ' tour. I again
made a journey to Tattersall's, and bought a very clever
trapper, a bay mare that had belonged to a Captain Jocelyn
(now Lord Roden) in my regiment. I gave very little money
for her, as her fore-legs were none of the best, and she pulled
like a demon when in harness. Johnny Jocelyn used to drive
her in his cab, and, as the story goes, whenever he whisked
round a corner he had to sing out to the little boy who did
tiger behind, to know if he was still there — for, though I
believe he never quite quitted his post, he very often was seen
dangling with his legs in the air, and holding on the loops
with his hands for very life.

Well, I put this said mare into the cart and drove her to
Swindon, where two hunters which I had hired from old Figg,
or Charley Symonds, met me, and I had some real good fun
out of them, too, in the vale of ' White Horse,' with Lord
Gifford, who was then master of those hounds, and a right
good sort he was. I think that the first place at which I

32 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

made a halt was ' The Lawn,' where my cousin, Ambrose
Goddard, lived, close to Swindon ; and he lives there now,
' more power to him. ' From thence I went on to stay with
an old Oxford chum who at Christ Church was known by the
name of Cozens, but since that time he has added Grimwood
to the end of it. He put me up at Highworth, and a very
good time I had of it while with him. From there I passed
on to Colonel Tom Stracey — now Clitheroe — at Elm Green,
and here misfortune overtook me ; for one of my hired crocks
had bad luck.

We had found a good straight-necked fox of the right sort,
and, there being a good scent, the hounds ran for something
like thirty-five minutes at racing pace over a fine line of
country. I can see old Peter Miles even now, the best heavy
weight I have ever beheld in a cramped country, literally
pushing his horse through a hairy fence by sheer weight of
metal. The pace was too good for my poor grey, and no
wonder, for I learnt afterwards — when too late — that he had
only been lately bought of a Yorkshire dealer, and was, conse-
quently, short of condition ; but our fox was very nearly done,
and was only one field in front of the hounds, so I was bound
to go on, notwithstanding the grey was about cooked. Seeing
a stilf stake and bound fence before me, I looked about for a
safer exit, and thought a low stile preferable and safer, hoping
that my horse would have the good sense not to meddle with
the top rail ; but there I was mistaken, for he never rose an
inch, and we both went the most almighty cropper into the
next field, where the hounds had pulled down their fox. I
was clean knocked out of time for a bit ; but my poor grey
had hurt his back badly. Lord Gilford kindly sent me home
in his carriage, and the local doctor and vet. were summoned
to Elm Green. I received two ' pellets,' and recovered ; but
my poor grey was treated to a ' whole charge ' and died. It
was a sad blow to me, for by my agreement I was to pay forty
pounds in case either of the hired gees died.

From Elm Green I went to stay with Bob Morritt, who
was lodging with a clergyman at or near Fairford, and there
also I had good fun. Thence I drove on to Kingscote and
stayed with the present Sir Nigel's father, a splendid old man,
with a wonderful nice lot of children — first and foremost of
whom was my worthy brother ofiicer, then young Nigel. He
was a real good fellow then, and he has not altered a bit
since ; for he is a topper now, and so is his good wife. Lady
Emily. Take them all in all, where can you beat them 1 This

BOB CHAPMAN. 33

brings me to the end of my hunting tour, and I do not believe
any one ever enjoyed six weeks' or two months' holiday more
than I did mine, and I conlmend the same style of trip to any
young officer short of chips and fond of ' the chase.' I used
to pay twelve guineas a month for the horses ; I had but one
groom, wdio rode them on from place to place as required,
while I drove the dog-cart on with the kit for both horses and
self ; and I hired a helper by the week whenever I put up.

I do not say that if you have a large balance at your
banker's you might not have provided yourself with a better
class of animal ; but I doubt your seeing more sport or having
better fun than I did with my screws. Of course I was
singularly fortunate in getting on the line of such comfortable
houses owned by such right good men, who one and all gave
me the heartiest of welcomes and the best of everything they
had. Who could wish for more 1

I can hardly believe that it was upon this very tour that
I first made the acquaintance of Bob Chapman, who was then
busy courting his future wife (Miss Hogg). If he will allow
me to say so, I think he must have won her heart almost as
much by the daring — but at the same time judicious — leads
that he gave her over the stone walls of Gloucestershire, as he
did by his ' bewitching ' manners when a pied. Good old Bob !
he don't look a year older now than he did then.^

While staying at Kingscote, I forgot to mention that I had
a day or two with Lord Fitzhardinge's hounds, and enjoyed a
bit of chaff with ' The Giant,' as the present Lord was nick-
named in the Blues. He was a most popular man in this
district ; and so he is still, and rightly too, bless him !

^ Poor Bob Chapman died since these words were written.

34

CHAPTER lY.

Battalion moves to Chichester — Hunt with the H.H. — 'Gentleman
Smith ' — Cricket-matches in Neighbourhood — Coaching Experiences
— Tennis-court at Goodwood — My First Betting Transaction — Good-
wood Ptaces — Chicken-rearing — Chicken-racing — New Method of Har-
nessing my Mare — Proceed from Chichester to the Tower — The Marcli
— Quartered at the Tower — Bank Guards — Escapes of being Sliut out
of the Fortress — Football at the Tower — Pamning Match with W. W.
Beach — A Close Thing.

In March 1849, my battalion moved to Chichester, where I
got a day or two now and then with the H.H., hunted by
' Gentleman Smith ' — a rare old warrior who was said to know
the line of every fox in his country, and although at his
advanced age he could hardly be expected to ride to the tail
of the hounds, yet whenever they checked he was very soon
on the spot to help them, and it was seldom indeed that he
ever gave them a lift or made a cast in the wrong direction.
There were no hounds at Goodw^ood at that time, nor for some
years afterwards ; so we had to ride long distances to covert,
and as it was near the end of the season and none of us had
more than one horse, or at the most two, we could not get
out as often as we should have wished.

I do not suppose that there is another part of England
where troops are quartered that boasts of as many cricket-
clubs, and as the summer advanced we had great fun with our
eleven, made up of officers and men, with which we drove to
the following places and played their local teams : Midhurst,
Arundel, Petworth, Cosham, and Havant. The last four all
produced useful cricketers, but at Midhurst was to be found
the best cricket in this part of the country. The Priory
ground at Chichester was quite one of the prettiest cricket-
grounds I have ever met with in any town, and of course we
used to practise there constantly. Round-hand bowling was
not thought so much of then as now, and we had a private
who could bowl fast left-hand grubs, which were very deadly

TENNIS AT GOODWOOD. 35

at times. To be at his best he required about half a bucket of
beer in him, and then he could bowl alarming ! I have often
heard the crack bat of our opponents' team retire growling, at
his middle stump having been sent flying by a well-directed
left-hand shooter from the said private. I always used to bat
left-handed, and got my fair share of runs, I believe ; but not
by reason of my elegant position or playing with a straight
bat, but simply from having a pretty good eye, and swiping
at every blessed ball, ' middle stumper or wide.' After
luncheon I generally used to challenge the best man of the
district to a spin of a hundred yards, and was never loth to
accommodate the gentleman with a little bit of start just to
encourage him if he seemed at all doubtful of his prowess, and
I do not remember ever having been placed number two.

We had splendid fun with a coach we hired, and in which
one of us drove a scratch team to all these different cricket-
grounds, and we always considered ourselves in great luck if
we arrived at our destination with the four horses in front of
the coach, as very often, what with the wheelers kicking or
the leaders jibbing, we had to hitch off the front pair and
tie them on behind the coach, and thus make our triumphal
entry on the scene of action. Still, all this only added to the
fun of the thing, and, beyond costing us a small fortune in
repairs to harness, and tin plates to put over the holes kicked
in the boot, which was well ventilated before we had done
with it, it did not cost us much anxiety.

What a merry lot we were ! with om* eleven, odd man and
umpire, all averaging from twelve to thirteen stone, wdien
ready to start on one of the afore-mentioned expeditions ! A
glorious day, of course, given in, and then, full of health and
spirits, with no parades or drill, it is no wonder we took a lot
of beating. When w^e were next at Chichester — or else at
this very time, I quite forget which — the kind old Duke of
Richmond (as gallant an old soldier as ever buckled on a
sword, and sire of the present Duke) lent us the tennis-court
at Goodwood, on condition that we provided the marker and
balls, and, as it was only a short stretch from barracks, we
used to play many a set there. I think I have said enough
about our quarters here to convince any man fond of exercise
and sport that he could hardly find a more pleasant quarter
than Chichester.

Up to now I have not said a word about a sport that I
purpose to enter upon more fully later on in this work, and
that is horse-racing, and how I first began to take a fancy to

36 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

the game — and a very expensive game it is, although a mon-
strous pleasant one. I believe the first bet I ever had was
when I was at Eton : I think it was on a horse called
' Wood-pigeon/ a horse of Lord Exeter's, that won the Ascot
Stakes in one of the forties ; and, though I suppose I must
admit to having had some slight experience in the excitement
of betting since that time, yet I do not think I ever felt more
keen over a wager than when I tossed up with another boy at
my tutor's which should have 'fii'st pick in a division.' Now
perhaps many of my readers may not be aware what a ' divi-
sion ' means, and so I will explain. "We boys used to take the
names — and, mind you, only the names — that had just been
published of the horses entered for the Ascot Stakes. No
weights had even been apportioned, of course, let alone accept-
ances, and yet we lads had the unblushing audacity to imagine
that very much depended upon getting fii^st choice in naming,
alternately, till we had run through the list, the particular
horse that we fancied wovild win this stake. The amount at
issue was, I believe, a whole shilling, and it was with immense
care and forethought that we ran down the long list of entries,
thinking very small beer of our last few selections at the tail
of the string, but feeling quite confident that the lucky one
who had won the first choice had procured an immense advan-
tage over the other, and almost looked upon the ' bob ' as in
his pocket. I merely mention this to show that I, thus early
in life, took an interest in this class of sport, and it may be
taken for granted that few races of any consequence took
place without ' Astley ' had a monied interest in the result.

Not the least charm about dear old Chichester was the
knowledge that in the last week of July we should be handy
for Goodwood Races, and we assembled a large party in
barracks for the meeting.

It is curious to look back forty odd years to the Goodwood
meeting of 1849, and note the changes in racing matters that
have taken place since that time ; and, on glancing over the
Racing Calendar to refresh my memory, I observe that the
added money at Goodwood in that year was but .£860 or
thereabouts, of which sum .£300 was added to the Stewards'
Cup, run, then as now, on the T. Y. C. course, while only
c£100 was added to the Goodwood Cup. In the Stakes the
second day of the meeting there were one hundred and four-
teen subscribers and twenty-one runners. No added money,
merely a sweepstakes of twenty-five sovereigns each, fifteen
forfeit, or five if declared. In 1849 class was well represented

GOODWOOD RACES IN 1849. 37

in this race, for Chanticleer, Collingwood, Maid of Masham,
Wanota, and Yan-Dieman ran. The Goodwood Cup conditions
were : ' Cup value <£300, the rest in specie by subscrijytion of
£20 each, with £100 added by the racing-fund.' It was won
by Lord Stanley's brown mare Canezou, 4 yrs., 8 st. 11 lbs.,
ridden by F. Butler; Mr. Merry's Chanticleer, 6 yrs., 10 st.,
second (Rogers) ; Sir G. Heathcote's Black Eagle, 7 st. 4 lbs.,
third (Mann).

The conditions of some of the stakes were certainly peculiar.
For instance : ' The Members of the City of Chichester Plate '
of £50 and £50 added by the ladies, and £10 from the fund !
— for the second horse ; then, again, ' The Duke of Eichmond's
Plate, free for all horses ; ' and the ' Anglesea Plate, to be
ridden by officers, or members of some specified clubs.' This
highly attractive stake only obtained three subscribers and
but two starters, Mr. Osbaldeston's Chat, ridden by his
owner, beating the Duke of Pvichmond's Buffalo Gal, ridden
by Captain Pettat, and thus securing a hard-earned thirty
sovereigns. The March Stakes was still more peculiar, tlie
conditions being £10 each (five if declared), to be ridden by
members of the Goodwood Club. Heats of three-quarters
of a mile. The winner had to run four times that afternoon
before he had a right to handle this big stake ! ! In four races
the winning owners were mulcted in sums of £25, £15, £25,
and £10 respectively, as payments to the judge — not bad in
four days !

The only two horses I recollect much about as running
at this meeting were Chanticleer and Canezou, the former a
beautiful grey horse showing a lot of quality. Canezou was a
splendid dark brown mare, and I think the finest I ever saw
win a race. Brown Duchess (winner of the Oaks) was some-
thing like her, but had not the same scope or power over the
hips that Canezou possessed in so remarkable a degree. She
looked fit to carry such mares as Wheel of Fortune or Bal Gal,
and half-a-dozen such as Sifileuse, which I saw win the One
Thousand the other day. Plenty of money was lost and won at
Goodwood this year (1849), no doubt ; but I don't recollect how
I or my comrades fared. We had a rare good time ; and how
could w^e help it with a right cheery party, and a lovely race-
meeting like Goodwood only three miles from the barrack-
gate"?

Talking of betting reminds me of a little incident that took
place while I was at Chichester, and which was rather a
doubtful attempt on my part to best my brother oflicers.

38 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

There are shoals of people who inveigh against those who bet
on horse-racing, and call it a demoralizing sport, &c., (fee, on
account of the gambling it leads to ; but allow me to acquaint
those said narrow-minded individuals that betting is by no
means confined to horse-racing. I have seen considerable sums
lost by betting on inanimate as well as animate objects ', for
instance, a yacht, a bicycle, a snail, or a chicken ; and it is
with this last species, as affording a means for gambling, that
I am about to relate a little story.

I recollect that my little bit of ' sharping ' at Chichester
was connected with chickens, and I always kept a few while
there and paid great attention to them, more for something to
do than anything else, though I was always fond of poultry.
Well, I had one or two clutches, to which I devoted much
time and care, in a space behind my hut (we were in huts, not
permanent barracks), and one day, being on barrack duty and
finding that time began to hang rather heavily on my hands,
I bethought me that I might test the speed of my chickens ;
so I kept them a bit short for one morning, and later on I put
them all in a basket, and conveyed them off about fifteen yards
from the old hen, who was in a coop. I then fed her, and she
began to ' cluck ' and ' cluck ' for the darlings to come and
partake of the delicate morsels that I had provided ; so I upset
the chicks out of the basket, and off they scuttled to their
fond mother at best pace. I found that one young cock was
an easy winner ; but, ' ever cautious,' I tried them over again
next day, and with the same result as far as the first three
were concerned (there were nine or ten of them altogether) ;
of course some three or four of them were regular selling-platers.

The next day, after parade, I suggested in a casual way that
we might while away a quarter of an hour by putting in a
sweepstakes of a bob all round, each to take a chicken and let
it go to its mother when the word was given. We got six or
eight chairs out on the parade, all scrupulously placed in line,
the chickens were caught and handed indiscriminately to each
man in the sweep, save and except the long-legged gentleman
that I happened (?) to hold myself. The old hen was duly fed,
and at the word ' Two,' amid breathless excitement, each
holder of a chicken let go his bird, and, curious to relate ! my
bird won in a canter, and I took the sweep. My brother
officers were sufficiently crafty, after two trials with similar
results, to wish to handle my cockerel ; but to this I demurred,
but made a match, there and then, that I would run one of the
beaten lot against the previous winner, in two days' time.

CHICKEN-RACING AT CHICHESTER. 39

Those two days — I being still on barrack duty — I devoted to
practising flipping pellets of bread to a given spot, and after a
time I got pretty accm-ate in my aim. The match came off,
and long odds were betted on the winner of the previous
sweeps. The word was given, and off they started ; but I had
arranged that the birds were to be started from different
angles, so as to avoid any cannoning in the race, but my real
object was to flip an atom of bread in front of my opponent's
bird. It, fortunately, came off as I had hoped : I dropped
the bread nearly in front of his nose, he stopped to eat it, and
my far inferior biped walked in (literally). There was some
little wrangling about the propriety of this transaction, and
possibly not altogether without some reason ; but, as far as I
recollect, the ' objection was overruled,' and the money paid.
There was an ingenuity about all this worthy, I venture to
think, of a better cause. Still, it afforded us a great deal of
amusement at the time, and furnished material for a good
deal of chaff. I think all will gather from what I have said
that there may be both gambling and sharping without the
presence of racehorses.

I mentioned previously a bay mare that I used to drive in
the dog-cart during my hunting-tour. I had this animal at
Chichester, and she used to pull tremendously hard. I
generally drove her in a ring-snaflle, and as I often observed
that the collar was wobbling about on her shoulders, while the
traces were quite slack, I came to the conclusion that they
were unnecessary appendages if there was no load behind, and
the hills not too steep ; so I put her in the trap with only the
belly-band, reins, and bridle on her, and found it answer
admirably; but, though this novel piece of coachmanship
caused much surprise in the neighbourhood and town of
Chichester, I cannot recommend it, unless the animal you are
driving keeps a nice steady pull on your arms, and, even then,
it is a bit risky, and you need to be more than usually well
acquainted with the animal that you are driving ; otherwise,
I should be sorry to guarantee that you would not find your-
self and trap in a somewhat dilapidated condition after experi-
mentalizing in this manner. Still, ' all's well that ends well,'
and my plan most certainly answered in the case of the mare
I have mentioned ; and I have given my method for those who
wish to try it.

At the end of August we received orders to proceed to take
up our quarters at the Tower of London, and we were directed
to march to Horsham, and take the train from thence to New

40 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Cross. The weather was uncommonly close and hot, and,
notwithstanding that the men were in fair marching condition,
owing to the numerous field-days that we had held on the
Downs between Kingley Yale and Halnaker, yet we had not
proceeded above half the distance between our barracks and
Petworth before the men commenced falling out. They were,
of course, in heavy marching order and carrying their full kit,
besides haversacks well filled with odds and ends, to say
nothing of the cumbersome, though handsome, bearskins on
their heads, and to the latter I attribute much of the distress
felt by the men on this hot march. I was with the right flank
company, so had all the best of the road, as we were in front
throughout, and were not troubled with the dust half as much
as the rearmost companies must have been. When we halted,
and served out rations to the men, I observed that all the
white pipe-clay belts were white no longer, but completely
discoloured from the heat of the men's bodies ; so it is easy to
imagine what a state their uniforms were in.

Petworth from Chichester is, I think, about twelve to
fourteen miles, and on the last four or five miles of the march
I carried one of my men's knapsack and fii^elock. Our right-
hand man of the company was a splendid specimen of a soldier.
Jack Dowell by name, and he also carried one of his comrades'
knapsack, as well as his own. I must diverge from the line
of march and tell you what sort of man this Jack Dowell was.
He stood six feet four inches in height, and as straight as a
gun-barrel ; his only failing was an over-fondness for liquor,
and many a hundred extra drills for absence from roll-call did
Jack get through taking just a glass too many. Still, it was
a treat to see him do his punishment, for he always turned out
spick and span, and his carriage and wheeling were a pattern
for all young soldiers to envy. On more than one occasion,
when he was a trifle the worse for liquor, he was also rather
short of the needful, and he became possessed of the idea that
he ought to be able to draw a little coin on his own account.
One night he went to our regimental agent's bank (Sir John
Kirkland, in Pall Mall), and created considerable disturbance
by knocking and ringing at the door. The police did their
best to quiet him, and make him move on ; but he put his
back against the door and floored them one after another with
his riglit, and eventually it took no less than six men to lock
him up.

We arrived at Petworth in a very draggled condition, and,
to make things worse, my company was ordered to march a

A DISAGREEABLE MARCH. 41

mile further to a village beyond, and this caused a deal of
grumbling, which took no small amount of tact on the part
of the officers to put a stop to, and finally land the men at their
resj^ective billets. However, the British soldier soon forgets
little disagreeables of this kind, and we quickly settled down
for the night, and were up again with the lark in the morning.
Next day we reached Horsham, and there entrained to New
Cross, from whence we marched to the Tower (about four
miles), and real glad we were all to get there and have what
is vulgarly termed ' a wash and brush up,^ Several of the
men were very poorly the next day, and more than one case
of supposed cholera was detected among them ; but they soon
got all right again.

I am aware that it does not sound very well that a
battalion of Guards should suffer so much from a march of
about thirty-five miles in two consecutive days ; but it must
be borne in mind that the heat of the weather was abnormal,
and that the dust turned up by the march of the column was
as bad as if a flock of one thousand sheep were on the move
along the road.

I had never been to the Tower before, and, though fully
impressed with its ancient appearance, it was a precious ram-
shackle pile of buildings to put officers or men into, and not
at all suitable or fit quarters.

Life at the Tower was not over lively, and after parade we
usually scattered about the town. We had to find the Bank
of England guard every night, going on duty at 6 p.m. and
coming off at the sam.e hour on the morning following. Some
of my readers may not be aware that the Bank authorities
provide the men on duty with one shilling each by way of
pay, and a very fair dinner is furnished from the same source
to the officer in charge of the guard, and to which he is per-
mitted to ask two guests. Often after a bowl of turtle-soup
and a plentiful supply of champagne, backed up by a bottle of
port (the latter supplied by the Bank authorities), it was not
so easy to find your way about the numerous passages and
bullion cellars, wdiile visiting the diiferent sentries dotted
about the building, and the assistance of the intelligent
drummer with his lantern saved a good many from getting
hopelessly lost.

The Tower gates are always closed at eleven o'clock at
night, after which hour no one is allowed to enter the fortress.
This led to some very narrow squeaks in my day (and no
doubt does so at present), for many a time, after dining out in

42 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

the West End, I have cut it rather too fine as to the hour,
and been obliged to persuade cabby, on the promise of an
extra douceur, to ride inside, while I mounted the box of his
hansom and drove for bare life, accomplishing the distance in
remarkable good time, but with equally remarkable near
shaves of a collision with vehicles of all sorts and sizes.

We used to play at football in the Tower ditch during the
winter. Perhaps every one does not know that the so-called
ditch which encircles the fortification on three sides — the
river, of course, forming the fourth — is always dry, and the
surface is composed of sharp, hard gravel, and when you did
get a cropper there was no mistake about it ; for some part of
your body — let alone your kit — suffered from contact with
this same gravel with which the playground was covered — not
at all like the nice, soft playing-fields at Eton. One peculiarity
of the place was that, being surrounded with high walls, the
ball was constantly in play ; so that there was little breathing
time or chance of getting a rest during the hour allotted to
the game. We picked up sides at starting, and I soon got to
know the play of all the men, who used to delight in a good
'rough and tumble' game. Of course the ofiicers who took
part in this pastime used to stand the men a good allowance
of beer after it was over — that is to say, if they had played
up well ; but any dulfers who did not, had to look on while
their keener or more plucky comrades had a drink. These
frequent games kept us all in condition, and rendered our
residence at the Tower rather less monotonous.

I think it was in the spring of 1850 that I ran my first
match for money; the distance was 150 yards on the flat.
My opponent was W. W. Beach, one of the members for
Hampshire : he had been staying with Lord Eglinton in
Scotland, and had there beaten all the men with any preten-
sions to run that Scotland could produce. Lord Eglinton
was prepared to back him against any amateur, so I took him
on, and the race came off at Copenhagen Fields, commonly
known — to all pedestrians — as the ' Old Cope ' : an open part
of London in those days, but now the site of the present
cattle-market. In the days I am speaking of it was an
enclosed ground with a cinder-path, and it was put to various
uses — such as cricket, pigeon-shooting, running, tfcc.

I remember that it was a very cold day ; but, notwith-
standing this slight drawback in point of weather, a numerous
party of Beach's neighbours from Hampshire, besides a vast
concourse of ordinary spectators, were present to witness the

MY MATCH WITH BEACH. 43

match, some of Beacli's HamjDsliire friends having travelled
to town on purpose. I had taken some trouble to get myself
into condition, and had practised at some of the various
running-grounds round London, besides running two or three
different trials against the watch.

Beach was favourite, and I think ought to have won ] but,
as we neared the tape, he put out his hands and caught it, so
that I really breasted it first. There was considerable
excitement as to who was actually the winner, and the referee
finally decided that we must run the race over again that day
week. I put in some good work during the interval, and
was, I think, close on a yard better when we toed the scratch
for the second race ; however, it was a very near thing and I
just won, though Beach at the time was not satisfied quite,
and said that a dog had got in his way, I never saw the
dog myself until the match was over, and then I discovered
that a cousin of mine, Periam Lethbridge (long since dead),
had a dog with him, and I was told that he had broken the
slip he was being led by and got away ; but I cannot help
thinking that, as we were so close together, if the dog had
interfered with Beach I must have seen him. At any rate,
some six years afterwards, we ran another match together at
' Salt Hiiy when I again won ; but of this, more later on.

44

CHAPTER Y.

Move to Windsor— Football with Ist Life-Guards— Mfitcli 150 Yards with
Pack — I Win Comfortably — Match between JNIartin and One of the 1st
—A Lucky Kick — I Drive to See the Race — An Awkward Dilemma —
An Amicable Settlement of what mio;ht have been Unpleasant — Lose
my Watch — Match with Vane against Time — Windsor and the Neigh-
bourhood—Start for Spain with Edmund Kthelston— A Day's Sport —
Home by Candle-light— St. Sebastian to Madrid— A Good Postillion —
rran9ois's Pantaloons — Boxing the Bulls — A Bull-fight — Activity and
Skill Required — My Opinion of the Sport.

On the 1st of March, 1850, my battalion was ordered to move
to Windsor, and the exchange of quarters suited me down to
the ground. Most of my readers are, doubtless, aware that
the river Thames is the line of demarcation between the towns
of "Windsor and Eton, as also between the counties of Berks
and Bucks ; so once over AVindsor Bridge I felt quite like an
Eton boy again, and delighted in visiting my old tutor's house,
the playing-fields, and many of my favourite haunts.

We had not been quartered long at Windsor before we got
up a football match between a team of old Etonians and the
boys. I rigged myself out in a suit of scarlet flannel, which
was much admired jyevious to the commencement of the game,
but the fine rich colour was considerably altered before the
match was concluded ; for the boys had given us a good hiding,
and I had come some severe croppers more than once, through
relying too much on my turn of speed ; for I made several
determined charges at the boys when in possession of the ball,
and as they very nimbly got out of my way on nearly every
occasion, I naturally went to grass through having too much
steam on to be able to pull up in time.

The 1st Life-Guards were quartered at the Cavalry barracks
at this time, and we played many a good match at football
with them. I challenged the regiment, and made a match to
run one of their bandsmen, named Pack, 150 yards. I see in
the account of the race published at the time in BeWs Life, it

MATCH WITH PACK. 45

is there reported that ' Mr. Astley backed himself at a sove-
reign a yard to win, although the odds were 4 to 3 on his
opponent, the Life-Guardsman.' Dear me ! what an excite-
ment there was over this race. Each regiment backed its
respective champion freely, and we were both of us as fit as
our trainers could make us. The Life-Guardsman was a
slender, lissome little chap, I should think not above 10 stone
weight. I was about 12 stone. Both regiments had provided
a heavy luncheon at their barracks, and there was a tremen-
dous crowd of all the notabilities and residents in the neiffh-

o

bourhood, besides not a few of the big-wigs from the Castle,
her Majesty and the Prince Consort being at Windsor at that
time.

I well recollect walking down from our barracks to the
Long Walk, where the distance, 150 yards, had been carefully
measured, accompanied by my beautiful cousin Mrs. Wells,
the mother of the present Lady Brougham and Yaux. When
we got to the ground, Lord William Beresford was sitting in
his cabriolet, with the Life-Guardsman by his side enveloped
in rugs, and he was rather hard on me for having kept his
man waiting ; however, I soon divested myself of my super-
fluous clothing, and turned out in a suit of flesh-coloured silk
tights. We soon toed the scratch, and again to quote from
BelVs Life — ' Pack on starting got an advantage of about two
yards, but at about half the distance they w ere abreast of each
other. Lieutenant Astley then drew ahead of his opponent
and won by three yards, amidst great cheering.' The race
excited considerable interest, and the Long Walk was thronged
with the military in garrison, and most of the residents of
Windsor, as I have already stated. I know that my own
battalion were there to a man, with the exception of those on
duty, and I had to pay a considerable sum for broken slates
after the race, in consequence of the men left in barracks
having climbed on to the roof to see the match. There was a
lot of betting on the result, and some of the men in my com-
pany told me afterwards that they had wagered more than a
month's pay on me. The Life-Guardsmen were so confident,
that I was told of a select coterie of them wdio had borrowed
no less than forty pounds of the landlord of the ' Merry Wives
Hotel,' the night before the race, and had made a faithful
promise to pay it back with interest after the conclusion of
the match. I heard of one stalwart trooper, with more money
than brains, who went up to old Berkeley Drummond, who
was then honorary colonel of my regiment and amongst the

46 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

crowd looking on, and offered him 2 to 1 on his comrade — I
rather fancy ten pounds to five was the bet.

No doubt the loser had been well tried, and possessed a
good turn of speed ; but he could not stay ' one little bit/ for
when I once got to his head, about half-way in the race, it was
all over but shouting, and I won ' anyhow.' There was a deal
of chaff between the two regiments after the race, and the
same night I offered to back our next best man against their
next best for 100 yards, but no further; for I knew our man
could not stay an inch beyond that distance. The match was
duly ratified, and, if I recollect right, was arranged to take
place that day fortnight — at any rate it was not long after.

The very next week our battalion played a match at foot-
ball against the 1st Life-Guards, and beat them, I being so
badly kicked on my right knee during the game that I could
hardly put my right leg to the ground for some three weeks,
and used to drive about in a low four-wheel pony-carriage,
with my leg in splints. I mention this because, unfortunate
as my accident appeared at the time, it turned out to be quite
the reverse, owing to my having to sit in my pony-trap to see
the second race. This was a most providential circumstance,
and I verily believe saved a deal of bad feeling, not to say
bloodshed, between the two regiments, and I will explain why.

On the morning of the race I drove down to the Long
Walk, and together with two or three Life-Guardsmen I saw
the distance, 100 yards, correctly measured with a tape, and
a deep crease across the gravel road defined both the start and
finish. Benjamin Martin was the name of our man ; but I
really forget the name of the Life-Guardsman. There was a
huge crowd again, as usual, and I stationed my pony-trap
opposite and close to the winning-post — having been selected
as referee. The result of a very close race was that our man
just won, but by little more than a foot. This was a heavy
blow to the Cavalry, and, though I do not believe for a
moment that the troopers were the culprits, yet some one who
had lost his money must have taken considerable pains to fill
up the crease at the 100 yards end, and make a fresh one
exactly similar at 90 yards from the starting-post. Well,
about an hour after the race was over, I was sitting in my
pony-carriage in the barrack-yard, when some half-dozen Life-
Guardsmen came to me, to tell me that the distance had been
wrongly measured, and that the men had only run 90 yards,
instead of the full distance of 100, and they asked me to come
and see for myself. Several of us repaired at once to the

A ROGUE SOMEWHERE. 47

Long Walk, the tape was produced, and, sure enough, when
we had measured 90 yards we came to a crease that looked
remarkably like the one we had made in the morning.

Now comes the reason why I said before that my being
obliged to drive in my pony-cart to see the race proved such a
providential circumstance : for, when we were all at our wits'
end to imagine how it was possible that the distance could
have been measured ten yards short, I, happily, remembered
that my pony, impatient at the long wait I made before the
race came off, had become fidgety and restless, and had pawed
up the ground exactly opposite the finish, where I had stationed
myself. I recollected that I had several times been obliged to
give a good jerk at his mouth to try and keep him still, and
from cutting up the turf ; so I told the man to measure
another ten yards, and, though the gravel there did not look
unlike the rest of the road, yet it was almost too smooth.
However, sure enough on the grass at the side of the road
were the marks of my pony's hoofs, and where he had cut up
the grass. This was good to see, and I called the Life-Guards-
men's attention to it, and reminded them how long I had been
there. They were, happily, at once convinced that some mis-
creant, for his own ends, had filled up the original crease at
the 100 yards mark, and had made a fresh one at 90. They
asked me to drive to their barracks and explain to their com-
I'ades how we had satisfied ourselves that the jDroj^er distance
had been run by the men. Of course, I did so at once, and I
had no sooner entered the gate of the Cavalry barracks than
the men came flocking round me, and when they heard what I
had to say, as well as the report of their comrades ' that they
were quite satisfied that their man had been fairly beaten at
the right distance,' there was an end of the matter, and every-
thing passed off most amicably ; but had it not been for the
marks caused by my pony's feet, it might — and j)i'obably
would — have led to a lot of bad feeling between two of the
best regiments in the Service, and I was quite satisfied that
the kick I received at football was a most hap23y circumstance.
W^hat do you think 1

I believe that it was during this summer that I became a
member of the ' Zingari,' and played many a good game at
cricket. The Foot Guards had no ground of their own to
practise on in our old barracks, so we often went over to the
Cavalry barracks and played there. Many a good hit have
I seen on that ground, sometimes clean over the men's quarters,
and oftener still, hitting the wall a rare smack and rebounding

48 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

almost back to the wickets. The glazier's bill was also pretty
heavy, seeing that the men's rooms and the stables all looked
out on the cricket-ground.

We used to keep our hands in at rowing, but my favourite
amusement on the river was punting, and you had to ' shove
a pretty pole ' to get up to Surley Hall, which was kept in
those days by ' Ducky ' Grantham, who was a very good long-
distance runner, and it was just about this time that he ran a
match of ten miles against a man called Levett. I forget the
exact time, but it was a good bit under the hour. I went up
to London to see the match, and getting among a crowd of
first-class ruffians on the ground, I was eased of my watch,
and did not miss it for some time afterwards, when I went to
the entrance and told the police of my loss. This was bad
judgment on my part, for I subsequently told one of the
' fancy ' that I would give him a couple of pounds if he could
get it back ; but he shortly came to me very crestfallen, and
said, ' You have made too much noise about it, captain, and
you can't have it.' I spotted a man I thought likely to know
about it, and offered to share the quids with him if he would
get it, but he told me it was impossible ; for though he knew
that his brother had taken it, he had to pass it away for fear
the police would ' feel him over.' So I said good-bye to my
ticker, and felt relieved that it was only a moderate one.

Windsor is a charming quarter, and I know of no better
town where an active man, fond of exercise, can enjoy himself
to his heart's content. The river runs so handy that you can
go on it when and where you like. You had plenty of choice ;
for you could either scull up to Maidenhead, make one in a
four, or even an eight, lounge about at our Guards' Club for
an hour or two, or punt down stream as far as the Bells of
Ouseley. Then again, if you felt inclined to play at cricket,
you had nothing to do but to go to Eton and join the boys in
the playing-fields. If you preferred to ride, you had but to
get on your hack, and ride up the Long Walk between the
avenue of grand old elms, to the Boyal Park, and have lunch
or tea with one of the charming and hosj)itable families who
lived on the outskirts of AVindsor Forest. In other words,
you could hardly go wrong for an afternoon's amusement.

The people I knew best in the neighbourhood were old
Daddy Seymour at Englefield Green, where also lived the
Barnetts, Drummonds, Paulet Somersets, and Francis Seymour,
afterwards Lord Hertford, also the present Lord Bridport
(Hood) and Peter Wells, besides numerous other hospitable

A MATCH AGAINST TIME. 49

friends on the opposite side of the park. We used to have
plenty of drills and field-days in the park, but our only other
duty was finding the Castle guard — not a very irksome one
either, as the ofiicer on duty might always saunter about on
the terrace, or, if it so pleased him, mount the steps of the
Round Tower, from which there is one of the grandest views
in England on a fine day, and when the atmosphere is clear
you can see a very long distance into the bargain.

In July I made a match one night at mess to walk a mile
and run 100 yards in ten minutes. I think it was with Dolly
Vane, the present Lord Londonderry's uncle, and the next
day it came off on our old battle-ground, the Long Walk. I
won this match with thirty-eight seconds to spare.

I took first leave this year, and started on the L3th of
August for a tour in Spain with my old Eton and Oxford
chum, Edmund Ethelston (now Peel of Bryn-y-Pys). En route
we stayed a few days in Paris, and then w^e took the train to
Bordeaux, thence to Bayonne and Biarritz ; the latter was,
even then, a lovely watering-place, though, of course, im-
mensely improved of late years. What used to amuse me
most was the sea-bathing, for both sexes used to bathe
together ; and, to tell the truth, that was about the only fun
I saw in it, for I hate getting a mouthful of salt w^ater every
now and again, not to mention a fair chance of gulping dow^n
a piece of jelly-fish or decayed lobster. We stayed two or
three days at Cambeaux, a place at the foot of the Pyrenees,
and at early dawn one morning I started with a hraconnier, a
sort of poacher and smuggler combined, who had given me a
glowing account of the grand sport to be obtained in the
mountains. He hired for me an old-fashioned, rickety fowl-
ing-piece, though I must do him the justice to say that I
believe it was safer than the one he carried himself. We
took our provender with us, and had a tremendous climb up
the mountain, but never saw a head of game all day, though I
believe one of us had a shot at a dove. Long before we got
home it became pitch dark, and it was impossible to see a foot
in front of your nose. I was dead beat, and the track w^as as
rough as possible, and so, after several tumbles, my com-
panion produced from his jDocket a small bit of candle, by the
aid of which I at last succeeded in groping my way home.
Although the view from the mountains — especially looking
over into Spain — was magnificent, yet wild horses could not
have dragged me up that mountain pass again.

I think it was from Bayonne we took the diligence to St.

E

so FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Sebastian, where we stayed the night, and it was a place well
worth seeing, and justly celebrated in the annals of the Penin-
sular War. From there we climbed a very rough road up the
Pyrenees, our team being composed of six bullocks, two
abreast, and two horses in front, the near one being ridden by
a wonderful clever little lad ; and it was only owing to his
ingenuity that we were not shaken out of our lofty seat, over
the driver's head, in the banquette of the diligence, for there
were huge boulders sticking up in the road on all sides of us.

"When we arrived at the summit of the pass through the
Pyrenees the bullocks were detached, and six horses were
harnessed in their place ; but the same boy continued to ride
a fresh pair of leaders. As far as I remember, it took our
slow, old conveyance three days and two nights before we
arrived at Madrid. Burgos was about half-way, and we
stopped there an hour or two ; but at no other place where we
changed horses did we remain more than about twenty
minutes. The same boy rode the leaders from St. Sebastian
to Burgos ; consequently he must have been about thirty
hours in the saddle, the v/eather being piping hot and plenty
of dust, so that it was no mean performance. At any rate, I
should not like to try the same ride with five halts, let alone
all at one stretch.

Whenever we had occasion to pull up, our coachman used to
take an earthenware pipkin of water with a small round spout
at the end of it. This always swung at the side of the
' dilly,' 1 and the boy, while sitting on his horse, would hold
the pot above his head and let the water trickle right down
his throat without swallowing — a feat that I never could
accomplish, even with the best liquor to experiment upon ;
and a good job too, for, if the fluid never touched your palate,
you would never be able to tell whether it was P. J. 74 or
fourpenny ' 'arf and 'arf.'' Both Ethelston and I were uncom-
monly glad when we arrived at Madrid ; and so was our poor
courier Francois, a stout, burly Frenchman, who was one of six
men tightly wedged into a small compartment in the interior
of the ' dilly.' One morning during the journey, seeing that
Fran9ois was much upset at something, I asked what was the
matter % He replied with several forcible epithets — which I
think I had better omit — that a skunk of a Spaniard, sitting
opposite to him, had a goat-skin full of the red wine of the
country, and of which he partook too freely, forgetting to
fasten up the neck of the skin after the draught ; in conse-
^ Dilly, i. c. diligence.

VISIT TO THE ESCURIAL. 5I

quence of which omission, whilst Francois was sound asleep,
he was deluged with red wine, and his pantaloons fully bore
testimony to the truth of his statement.

We put up at a very smart hotel, and were treated to some
magnificent apartments, the price of which was something
appalling ; so I never allowed our courier to select rooms
for us on any subsequent occasion.

Of course I could say heaps about Madrid, and many other
places that I have visited, but probably it is all to be found
somewhere else ; and I only wish to speak about matters and
places actually in connection with my own personal experi-
ences. Therefore, if my description of some large towns of
interest or places of note is deemed skimpy, it is because I do
not wish to travel over old ground, well trodden before and
since by abler men with the pen.

The only expedition we made from Madrid that I cared very
much about was that to the Escurial, about twenty-five miles
north-west of Madrid, the palace of the sovereigns of Spain.
I believe it was built somewhere about 1563, though not
finished till twenty years or more afterwards. It is a wonder-
ful old pile of buildings, built in the form of a gridiron, and
I was told — though I don't vouch for the truth — that there
were eleven thousand windows in the building ; as for doors,
I am afraid to say how many there were, but certainly quite
as great a number of them as windows.^

Of course w^e were bound to do the proper thing and see a
bull-fight, and on the morning of the show we went to see some
eight or ten bulls driven into their separate loose boxes, and
they managed this job very cleverly. An old cow or a bullock
with a bell round its neck led the troop of bulls through the
boxes, which opened from one into the other. We, with two
or three of the men w^ho were well accustomed to separating
the herd, were stationed on a gallery immediately over the
boxes, which were open at the top, and from their safe position
up above the men closed the doors in the face of the rearmost
bull ; and, after some tAvo hours' hard work, all the eight bulls
were located in their respective boxes, so that only one could
be let loose into the arena at a time. After this was suc-
cessfully accomplished, the old cow with a bell, proud of having
gulled the herd, calmly walked into her own stable, there to
enjoy her clolce far niente till required again for a similar

^ Sir Jolin is perfectly correct in his statement. The Escurial (or
Escorial) is reported to contain 14,000 doors and 11,000 windows ; while
the rooms are estimated to cover an area of 120 English miles. — Editor.

52 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

purpose — namely, to allure another batch of male companions
to their doom.

This morning's work was the only part of the bull-fight that
interested either of us ; for in my humble opinion it is a most
sickening performance when once the butchering of the
wretched, half -starved horses begins.

When the afternoon's performance commenced, after a great
deal of ceremony and marching round the arena, the keys of
the door confining the bulls are thrown down from the royal
box or by the chief personage present, and, amid loud cries of
' Bravo I ' the first bull is let into the arena, and as he passes
beneath the archway over the door a rosette of the colours
denoting the province from whence he comes is adroitly
fastened on his back. I presume it has a barbed shaft to it
like an arrow-head ; at any rate it is cast from above and
remains firmly fixed on the animal's back during the whole
time. The first bull was a grand beast, and came galloping into
the arena, tossing the sand and sawdust into the air with his
hoofs, shaking his splendid head, and staring wildly round him.
All at once he seemed to concentrate his attention upon one of
the Picadores, enclosed in a sort of tawdry armour, his only
weapon being a long wooden spear, with sufiicient point to
goad but not materially injure the bull. Ho was mounted
upon a sorry old quad who looked as if he had been respited
for the job from the knacker's yard, and at him went the bull
full tilt ; but his attention was at once drawn away by one of
the active little Banderilleros, who dart backwards and for-
wards like swallows, waving gaudy coloured cloths and flags
in his face, and when pursued in their turn they nimbly nip
behind a sort of screen at the side of the arena, or run up some
steps — placed for the same purpose — only just in time to avoid
the bull, whose horns are buried in the woodwork of the barrier,
often only a moment or two too late. After a little of this he
made a fresh rush at a Picadore, and with more success, for he
lifted both horse and man fairly off the ground and sent both
sprawling on to the floor, while the bull's attention was once
more speedily diverted from his fallen foes by the Chulos to
some other part of the arena.

It is wonderful to see the activity of these men on foot, who
often spring right over the bull's neck, and execute all sorts
of daring feats too long to describe. So far, no great harm
was done, except it is not a pleasant sight to see the wretched
horses ripped up by the bull's horns and stretched half dead
about the arena, till they are dragged oif by a team of mules

SKILL DISPLAYED BY THE MATADOR. 53

which is brought in for that purpose. After several mad
rushes and ineffectual chases after his tormentors, the poor
bull had to realize that he possessed no chance with his crowd
of assailants ; then, too, his strength began to fail him, and at
last he commenced to sulk, and it took more and more baiting
to get him to move. Finally, a wonderfully smart fellow
called the Matador advanced into the arena amid loud cheers
from the spectators ; for he was a celebrated character who had
distinguished himself in many previous bull-fights, and after
bowing and doffing his hat, he advanced towards the bull with
a red cajxt in one hand, and a long straight sword — very sharp
— in the other, and cautiously approaching the animal he
waved the red cloth immediately in front of his face close to
the ground. The bull lowered his head to charge ; but before
he could do so (weakened as he was) the Matador with one
straight, swift thrust drove the splendidly temj^ered steel into
the back of the neck of the bull, severing the spinal cord, and
in an instant the animal dropped dead at his feet. The mules
once more arrived on the scene, were attached to the dead
beast, and he was swiftly dragged out of the arena, amid
flourishes of trumpets and vociferous cheering.

I must here observe that there was an enormous concourse
of spectators assembled in the building, who were sitting on
seats rising one above the other like an old Koman amphi-
theatre, and there was certainly a preponderance of women
over men, many of the former being ladies of rank, and
holding the best social position in Madrid.

A second bull was now let loose into the arena, and a
splendid specimen he was. He at once charged one of the
Picadoi'es and drove his horns into the unfortunate horse's
stomach, and then lifted both horse and rider some feet into
the air, almost disembowelling the horse, whose entrails pro-
truded from a long lacerated wound. The poor brute got on
his feet with difficulty, and moved slowly away, actually
stepping on his own entrails as he walked. This truly dis-
gusting sight gave the large majority of ' so-called ' women
present intense delight and satisfaction, and they shrieked out
their approval of the ghastly orgie by clapping their hands
and vociferating ' Bravo, toro ! ' ' Bravissimo, toro I ' for some
minutes, during which time the wretched horse was removed
and all traces of his gore obliterated from the ground of the
arena, by shovelsful of sand and sawdust.

This truly cruel exhibition fairly settled both of us, and we
left our loggia in high dudgeon ; the softer sex of ' sunny

54 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Spain ' falling in our estimation to close on zero. I look back
with loathing when I think of the ecstatic joy shown by those
female fiends as they witnessed that poor horse's sufferings
without showing the smallest compunction or feeling, and I
vowed there and then that nothing should ever induce me to
witness another bull-fight where a horse had no sort of chance
of escape.

I believe, after we left the building, that five or six more
bulls were baited by the Banderilleros and Chulos, and then
despatched by the Matador ; but we had seen quite enough for
one afternoon.

Amongst the Chulos and Banderilleros were some very
smart and active specimens of humanity, and the pace at which
they bounded up the steps of the barrier, when the bull's horns
were close behind, gave me the impression that some of them
must possess a ' good turn of speed ' ; so I became anxious to
find out if they really could go as fast as I could — I mean
without the privilege of having the sharp horns of an enormous
bull within such exceedingly close proximity. The result of
my experiment I will leave to the next chapter.

Sj

CHAPTER YI.

Francois finds a Flier— The Result— The Royal Stables— Malaga— Ronda
to Gibraltar— A Terrible Rough Eide— On to Seville— Seville Tobacco
Factory— The Narrowness of tlie Streets — My Opinion of Spain and
Spaniards — Arrive at Cadiz — Meet with Friends — Decline Dining on
the Sea— Take Steamer for England — Arrive at Southampton — Part
from Peel, after Two Months together — A Spin Ronnd St. James's Park
— Advice to Others how to keep Fit — Croydon Fair.

Well, I told Francois (our courier) that I would give any
man in Madrid a fiver who could beat me at 100 yards. He
was delighted of course at the prospect of a bit of sport, and
I believe fondly imagined that he could easily find one of
these men who would stand him a big drink after winning my
fiver, and the next morning he announced that he had found
a veritable flier ; so it was arranged that early in the morning
the Spaniard and I should meet and run a match. In due
course we drove out to a nice, level, smooth bit of road in the
Prado. When we arrived there, to my astonishment there was
a nondescript crowd of a hundred or more, consisting princi-
pally of English grooms and horsey-looking sportsmen of all
nations. My antagonist was a smartly-made, likely-looking
customer, and I found out that he was a native of the Basque
Provinces — a locality, I was informed, justly celebrated for
its athletic inhabitants.

The 100 yards having been duly measured, we stripped and
prepared for action, getting olf to a very even start ; but we
had not gone twenty yards before I found it necessary to
exhort my young friend to ' hurry up a bit,' if he could. I
then quitted him, and literally walked in. I subsequently
offered him ten yards start if he felt disposed to have another
try for the ' flimsy,' but he would have no more of it ; and
although I announced that the money would be handed over
to any man who could beat me during the next four days of
our sojourn at Madrid, no one came to claim it.

The royal stables were quite worth seeing, and there were a

56 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

good-looking lot of Arabs, Barbs, and mules. The stud groom,
who showed lis over, pointed out a saddle that had been
specially made in England for the Queen (Isabella), and I
remember being much struck with the vast width between
the two pommels, but was assured by our cicerone that the
vacant space was none too large for his august mistress, and I
consequently came to the conclusion that the Spanish Queen's
thigh and a Spanish bull's neck must be of about the same
proportions ; but of course I was only guessing !

Our next journey was to Malaga, a place ]30ssessing very
little interest, but famed, I believe, for its raisins. I saw
nothing here worth recording, except that the grapes were the
finest that I have ever seen growing out of doors.

From Malaga we returned to Ronda, and from thence we
rode to Gibraltar, notwithstanding the fact that the accounts
of the mountain-path w^ere anything but encouraging. This
was to me a terrific day's work, and not wdthout a certain
amount of excitement, for we passed through a very wild
tract of country, where, not very long before, some tourists'
luggage had been appropriated by the peasants of the district.
The pack-horses were obliged to start before sunrise, and we
followed at 6 a.m., in order that we might reach the outer
fortification on the land side of Gibraltar before the gates
were closed at dusk, which is a hard-and-fast rule where a state
of siege is always rigorously maintained as it is in ' Gib.'
Our two palfreys were Barbs, and their best pace was a sort of
amble, and as the bridle-track was very rough and for the
most part rocky, we were unable to change our pace to any
appreciable extent, especially as our guide rode in front so
as to select the best of the ground. We only halted twice,
but nevertheless barely managed to reach the gates before
gun-fire. We had overtaken our courier w^ith the pack-horses
in the Cork Woods, and it took us all our time to urge them
on ; otherwise we should have had the extreme felicity of
sleeping outside the lines. I never was more done up in my
life than I was with that fourteen hours' horrible ride, my ribs
ached as though they had been welted with a single-stick ;
but my self-esteem sustained a severe shock w^hen I observed
that my companion (Peel) was appai-ently quite comfortable,
and could have gone on for hours without the smallest
inconvenience.

We put up at a very good hotel, and I was most thankful
to arrive there ; but it was late the next day before I could
get about at all, and then not without much pain. We stayed

CIGAR MANUFACTORY AT SEVILLE. 57

three days at the ' Rock ' (or perhaps four), and explored that
wonderful stronghold, with its numerous halls and galleries,
from which, at various points, you get a rare view over the
bay. From the Signal Tower the view is second to none, and
well worth riding out to see, for the road is a good one. We
met several friends at Gibraltar ; but for the life of me I
cannot at this length of time manage to recall their names.

Our next ride was to Seville, another very long day, bat
the track was much better, and the cattle we bestrode were
m.ore springy in their action ; still, much of the country was
ugly and flat during the journey, and a great contrast to our
picturesque, hilly ride to ' Gib.' Seville is a pleasant enough
town, and the orange and olive groves all around are beauti-
ful, but the dust and heat were overpowering. Of course the
great sight of Seville is the Cathedral, and after that the
Alcazar (King's palace) ; but both these places have been so
often described, that I shall pass on to the tobacco manufactory,
an enormous building, in which some five thousand j^eople
(mostly women) are employed. It was then a monopoly in
the hands of the Government, and they make close on
100,000,000 reals per annum profits out of this establishment.
In one room that we entered, devoted to the manufacture of
cigars, the whole of the delicate work was carried on by
women, and a very curious sight it was. Several rows of
young girls were seated at long narrow tables, on which they
rolled the damp tobacco into cigars of various sizes, with
astonishing rapidity and skill. Many of the girls were
evidently overcome with the heat of the room and the fumes
of the noxious weed, for they were leaning forward, with their
heads on the table, fast asleep.

"We were not specially struck with their beauty, but we
had a good opportunity of judging of their charms ; for it was
evident that many of them had only one outer garment on,
and as it is the invariable custom to take this off as they
enter, and hang it up in the passage outside, or over the back
of their chair, there was nothing much to interfere with the cir-
culation of what little air there was around their lightly-clad
persons, this being, I presume, the object to be gained by
removing their skirts and working in their petticoats.

I was much surprised, a clay or two later, when, it being a
holiday, all the factory girls turned out in the Park or j^rincipal
promenade, to notice how many of them appeared cj^uite good-
looking and smart in their gala attire. Several of them dis-
played great taste in the way they dressed their long black

58 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

hair ; the prevailing fashion being to coil it up on the top of
their heads, with here and there a piece of lace entwined
among the shining tresses ; but nearly all of them wore some
bright flower to lighten up their already picturesque appearance.
I quite omitted to mention that the town of Seville is open to
improvement, or was when I last saw it ; for the streets are so
narrow, that there are not above three or four in which you
can turn a carriage, and therefore it is next to impossible to
do much ' on wheels,' for if you have to make a complete
circuit of the town every time you want to turn round, it not
only takes a deal of time, but is slightly monotonous.
From Seville, that city of which it has been said —

' Quien uo ha vista Sevilla,
No ha visto maravilla,'

which, I believe, is much the same as ' See Naples and die,' we
went to Cadiz, I think by ' dilly ' ; but, not being violently
attached to Spain, I am afraid my memory may be a bit shaky
on this point.

I was real sick of Spain, and shall not trouble to visit those
parts again, unless under very pressing circumstances. Of
course it may be that we went there at the wrong time of year ;
but the dust, heat, and glare were simply intolerable. It
struck me that the male population were a smart, well-made
race, but, as a rule, extremely lazy and uncommonly vain.
The w^omen had fine eyes and plenty of long black hair which
they knew how to put together to the best advantage, but the
colour of their skin was a shade or two on the dark side for
my fancy, and I doubt if Messrs. Pears would have done much
of a trade there with their soap ; for, to my thinking, the
majority of them were like the proverbial stocking Hhat
shrinks from washing ' ; moreover, I could not forget their
fiendish joy when the unfortunate horses were so terribly gored
at the bull-fight.

Just prior to our leaving Cadiz, Henry Webster brought
his yacht into the harbour, and he and ' Jollity Wingfield '
landed and called on us at our hotel, at the same time asking
us to dinner on board. "VVe went to the quay with the inten-
tion of doing so ; but when I beheld the graceful undulating
motion of the yacht, it suggested to me that I should have no
chance of retaining my dinner even if I had the luck to get it
down ; so we wished them a fond good-bye, and returned to
dine at our hotel.

The next day we took our passages in a steamer bound for

EXERCISE BETTER THAN TURKISH BATHS. 59

Southampton ; but, as is usual with me when upon the briny
ocean, I was so horribly sea-sick that I recollect little or nothing
of the events of the journey home, except that the gulls took
especial interest in me every time I looked over the vessel's
sides; it might be either to search for the sea-serpent, or
possibly from a cause known to those who, like myself, suffer
from mal-de-mer. I have an idea that we stopiDCcl at Lisbon,
at any rate I have a recollection that it was a bright, clean
town, although I did not think the port wine anything like as
good as what is to be got in London.

We got home about the middle of October, and I can safely
say, what very few friends can under the like circumstances,
and that is, that my old chum Edmund Peel and I, though
constantly together for two months, never said a cross word
to each other the whole time. He was thin, I was fat, and
yet what suited one seemed to suit the other. He returned to
his charming home at Bryn-y-Pys, near Ruabon, to hunt with
good old Watty Wynn's hounds, and, if I recollect rightly,
married my lovely cousin Annie Lethbridge not long after.
He was very useful with a gun, rode well to hounds, and was
a first-class oar, having rowed both in the Eton and Oxford
eights, and I was very pleased to hear only the other day that
he had seen a good day's sport with the present Sir Watkin's
hounds, accompanied by two of his daughters. Long life to
him ; for a better pal, parent, or landlord it would be hard to
meet with, and so say all of us.

On my return, I found my battalion in Wellington Barracks,
and I suppose passed my time in much the same manner as
most young Guardsmen do, under such similar conditions. I
used to lodge over old Mother Sweetland's dairy in Jermyn
Street, and used to keep myself in fair condition by running
round St. James's Park, two or three times a week, before
breakfast. Now, for the information of those who wish to
try the same exercise, I may state that the gravel walk inside
the railings is about a mile in circumference, and if you want
to feel light and corky, take my tip, and put on a set of
sweaters, not forgetting a woollen wrap round your neck, and
a good thick pair of worsted gloves, to keep you nice and
warm ; then jog down to the Park, so as to get your pulses
gently beating before you start really running, and when you
begin, jump olf at a gait of about a mile in six minutes (faster,
if you can) ; only mind this, you must not pull up till you
have completed two circuits and find yourself once more in
your bedroom, then ofi: with your top clothing and get in

6o FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

between the blankets, and if you don't perspire real freely,
then blame me, or go to your doctor and ask him what is the
matter with you 1 After about twenty minutes of this treat-
ment get your servant to rub you well down with a rough
towel, get into your tub, and when dressed and ready for
breakfast, you will feel, not only that you have a good balance
at your banker's (no matter how hard up you are in reality),
but also fit for any amount of brain work or f)hysical exertion.
At the time I am writing of, Turkish baths were unknown,
or, at least, I never heard of them, and I am morally convinced
that the ojDening of the pores of the skin by strong exercise is
far in front of the process of melting yourself in a very highly
heated atmosphere. The one tends to develop your muscles
and expand your chest and respiratory organs, while the other
only pulls oli' adipose matter, and leaves you limp and listless
for the rest of the day — at least that is my experience of the
two methods usually employed to assist you to keep your
figure.

A well-to-do friend of mine, perhaps the least bit in the
world too fond of good living, once asked me how he could
best keep his weight down ; he w^as then nearly as round as a
barrel, and gradually getting worse and worse. He seldom
walked in London, and spent a fortune in cabs ; so I recom-
mended him every time he hailed a cab, to catch hold of the
iron-guard rail behind, and run instead of getting inside, and
I have not the smallest hesitation in saying that, had he
followed my advice, he would have been alive now; but as
he did not, he has been gathered — poor old Jim, he was a real
good sort, and uncommon partial to Piccadilly.

Some time in the year of 1850 I was sent down to Croydon
for a fortnight's duty, in charge of recruits, and in those days
Croydon Fair was celebrated for sport of all kinds ; so I asked
a few choice spirits amongst my Ensign friends to come down
and dine with me, and though the food was only moderate we
had a middling tap of ' Pop,' and when we arrived in the Fair
w^e were about fit for anything, and you may bet that we had
a real lively time of it, particularly in the dancing booths.
Croydon was not half a bad place ; for the ' Surrey staggers '
always met within easy reach, and as I had my old hunter
Leo down there, I got some real good gallops with them.

One evening, after hunting, I came up to towni, and dined
at the Guards' Club, and our Adjutant, who was sitting at a
table near, heard me describing the sport of that day, and,
can you believe it 1 the next morning I got an order to attend

A NARROW ESCAPE. 6i

at the regimental orderly-room to explain how it was that, in
my report, I had stated that I had seen the men's messes at
1 P.M., when it \vas well known that I was out hunting at that
very hour. However, the CO. let me off with a caution ;
but I made a note to be more cautious with my tongue when
officials were about.

Some time after this I happened to be on duty at Wellington
Barracks, and had no business, of course, to leave barracks
after tattoo ; but I knew there was a hal masque at Drury
Lane Theatre that evening, and, wicked though it was, no
doubt, I could not resist joining the party. Now, in one of
the stage-boxes we espied some very fascinating young ladies,
of course accompanied by some youthful gallants, whom we
at once decided must be turned out ; so, watching our oppor-
tunity when the garrison was weak, we made a dash and
carried the position. We were engaged in getting up a mild
flirtation with the fair ones, when the rightful occupants of
the box returned, and at once tried to eject us ; and, while I
was taking part in the defence, and standing on the cushioned
front of the box, resisting all efforts of the foe to enter,
suddenly one of our own party gave me a violent push forward,
and I pitched head-foremost out of the box on to my shoulder
on the hard floor. I was horribly afraid that I had broken
some bones ; but be that as it might, I was bound to get back
to barracks again. This I eventually succeeded in doing all
right, but in the morning, when I ought to have inspected the
bread and meat, &c., at 9 a.m., I found I could not get any
sort of uniform on, so had to summon the doctor ; and I do
not think that I ever saw a man more puzzled (he was a good
chap, too) to understand how such a severe contusion of the
muscles of the shoulder could have been caused by tumbling
out of a bed about two feet high ! However, I got a friend
to take my duty for the remainder of the week, and was not
tried for breaking out of bpa^acks, as I ought to have been ;
but, luckily, we do not always get all we deserve in this w^orld.

One night, when on Buckingham Palace guard, I had a
very narrow squeak of being severely singed. After going
the rounds at eleven o'clock, and before going to bed, I
thought that I would read myself to sleep, so I put one cane-
bottomed chair on top of the other, and on it placed the
candlestick containing the regulation tallow-dip, close to my
bedside. How long I read I cannot say, but I never slept
sounder, and when I woke in the morning the transformation
scene was peculiar. There had evidently been a thief in the

62 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

candle, which had caused the wretched dip to burn all side-
ways, and it must have toppled over and then burnt the
bottom of the top chair out, then fallen on to the bed against
the blanket, and, after smouldering a certain time, had quietly
gone out ; at any rate, when I was roused — partly by the
sun's rays, and partly by the horrible smell of burnt blanket
— I discovered that I had had a lucky escape, and have never
trusted to tallow-dips since, and — don't you, reader !

I was always taking a lot of exercise, and therefore, I
suppose, was a very sound sleeper, as the following anecdote
will amply bear witness. I had been home to Everleigh on
leave for a day or two^ and, as was my wont, I ran and walked
the fourteen miles back to Hungerford, then our nearest
station. Before getting into the evening train for London,
I took a sup of real old brown British brandy at the Three
Swans ; then ensconced myself in a corner of one of the old
double carriages on the broad-gauge line, and, the train not
being due in London till about 10 p.m., I just shut one eye
and then the other, so as to steal forty winks before changing
into the express at Beading. ^Vell, the next time I opened
my eyes I found myself in total darkness, and on looking out
of the window I at length discovered that my voiture was in
a siding, and the hour 1.30 a.m. I crawled out and found
the station deserted, with the exception of one sleepy porter,
who told me that the mail train would be along in about two
hours, and so it was, and I arrived in plenty of time for
parade. 'All's well that ends well,^ but these two instances
of sound sleeping might have caused me a lot of trouble.

The year 1851 was that of the Great Exhibition, when an
enormous glass-case was erected in Hyde Bark, nearly opposite
where the present Life-Guards barracks now stand. All the
country people were crazy to go up to London and see it, and,
amongst others, our yokels at Everleigh were very keen to
have a peep at the show ; so my brother Hugh and I chartered
two large omnibuses, which were well filled inside and out.
We started at 3 a.m., and did not get back till the same hour
next morning — twenty-four hours of real hard work. When
we got to Baddington we put our excursionists on the roofs of
some omnibuses, and they were driven down Oxford Street as
far as the Bank of England ; then we turned them out and
gave them a good feed all round and drove them back by
Fleet Street and Biccadilly to the Exhibition, and I venture
to think it speaks well for our management that we got them
all together at Baddington on our retiu-n, when you remember

MARIA, MARCHIONESS OF AILESBURY. 63

that hardly one of them had ever been on a railway, and 7iot
one of them in London. For years afterwards that trip was
the most interesting topic in the village public-house. I
fear, however, that there are but few of those highly-travelled
villagers above ground at the present time.

The death last Sunday (May 1, 1893) of that grand old
lady, Maria, Marchioness of Ailesbury, reminds me of the
many pleasant days that I spent at Tottenham, when she was
not only one of the best-looking, but one of the cleverest of
her sex, and a kinder-hearted hostess I never wish to meet.
Her maiden name also brings back recollections of one of the
most enjoyable days I ever spent upon the Thames. Some
good soul had arranged a picnic in the grounds of Ham House,
and all the food, as well as many of the party, went down by
road ; but four of us young Guardsmen had the privilege of
rowing the good old Lady St. Germans, Miss Lygon (after-
wards Lady Raglan), and Miss Graham (subsequently Mrs.
Charles Baring) in a four-oar, starting from Westminster
Bridge, where at that time the Guards' boats used to be kept.

As long as we had the tide with us we slipped along right
comfortably, but about Mortlake the tide turned (a way it
has got !) and we had a hard pull right away to Twickenham.
I for one wished most heartily that the chaperon of those two
beautiful girls had been more of a feather-weight. However,
we had a real jolly party, and in the evening we rowed our
fair freight back again, and never have I heard any more
fetching melody than those two lovely women trilled forth
under the light of the moon. Fortunately, they were both
so charming that it was quite impossible to give the preference
to either, and no matrimony was the consequence of that
moonlight trip.

64

CHAPTEE, YII.

Eeturn to Cliicliester — The Battalion Harriers — Old Ewens and his Hare
— Tlie C.C.C. — My Black Cob— Loid Chewton's Discretion — Fish-
carts and Dogs — Hippy Darner's Dog — Just a Bit Timid — Employment
for the Glazier — Good for Trade— More Cricket — Two Miles best Pace
to a Fire — j\Iatch with Jim Gorham over Hurdles — Match with Roger
Mostyn — The Conditions — The Result of Diplomacy — Colonel Colville
— Field-day on Downs — Late for Parade — A Novel Excuse.

Ox the 2nd of March, 1852, I was delighted to find myself
back at Chichester, a real pleasant change from the sombre
old Tower of London. This spring our battalion started a
pack of harriers, which were hunted by Buckley, a son of the
old General whom I mentioned as living near Salisbury, and
we had some capital fun with the ' Jelly ' dogs. We invari-
ably used to Avhip off when we came to the large beech- woods
that extend pretty well from Goodwood to Petworth, and
many a hare escaped in consequence.

A real good old type of the tenant-farmer, named Ewens,
lived at Singleton ; he used to ride a very clever old mare,
though she was all but blind, and when he got to a fence he
used to pull up and shout out to her, ' Hold up, old gal ! ' and
she would rear herself up on her hind legs and give a spring
forward, and, as there were no ditches in that country, would
in this manner contrive to land the old man safe on the other
side. The game old fellow always declared that she was ' a
rare safe conveyance,' but I never heard of there being any
great rush to ask for a mount on her. Old Ewens was a very
early riser, and would ride round his farm most mornings
before he had his breakfast, and generally managed to spot a
hare in her form. There was one bit of fur in particular that
was nearly always to be found on the hillside not four hundred
yards from the old farmer's door, and many a time, after
refreshing ourselves at Ewens' hospitable board with home-
cured ham and the freshest of eggs, to say nothing of ' a
glass,' we would trot the hounds round to the far side of

A DOUBTFUL WAGER. 65

pussy's home, and on being disturbed, away she would go,
racing pace, for the same point in the big woods, about a mile
or a mile and a half distant. This happened several times,
and do what w^e would we could never overtake her before we
were obliged to whip oft' ; but one day the old man seemed
extra jubilant, and greeted us thus — ' ISTow, gentlemen, I
have got a strange fancy that we shall catch our old hare
to-day,' and by the merry twinkle in his eye we could per-
ceive that he thought that he knew something. He declined
to give us his reason for being so sanguine, but he evidently
had some great scheme on.

Well, pussy was found as usual, and off she scuttled with
the pack after her on the old familiar line ; but just as she
gained the shelter of the woods we heard a shot, and, sure
enough, when we arrived at the spot from whence it proceeded,
we found not only that our little four-footed friend had been
brought to book at last, but that old Evvens' shepherd — to our
great astonishment — happened to be on the spot to save her
scut from the hounds.

Up came old Ewens and used the most fearful language to the
man, saying, ' Thee old fool ! didn't I tell thee to dro}) a leg ?
and now thee hast shot her dead ! However, I have won my
money, for I bet my neighbour that the gentlemen ofhcers
would catch her to-day.^ It was a fine point, I think,
whether he had fairly won his wager ; but that did not matter
to us, and we all roared with laughter at the comical old boy's
pride in arranging the capture of poor pussy by foul means,
and we felt perfectly satisfied that we never should have
caught her if she had been given fair play.

About this time we started our C.C.C. — Chichester Cart
Club — and w^e used to turn out of barracks in fifteen or six-
teen dog-carts, and drive to various tow^ns or villages in the
neighbourhood, order dinner at the best hotel, stroll about and
lionize the place till food was ready ; then, when dinner was
over, we would race back to barracks, and I never have been
able to fathom the reason why some one of us did not break
his neck during the process. I had a black cob, who, once off,
was the fastest of the lot ; but the job was to get him off, for,
when harnessed, it w^as most difficult to jDersuade him to start
at all, as he would stand stock still, with all four legs w^ell
apart, and keejD turning his head round to look at me, as
much as to say, ' I am master of this situation, and I shall
start when it suits me ; but when I do, look out for squalls.'
It was no sort of use hitting him, for he would only run back,

F

66 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

no matter where he was put to, and this, in a town, meant
' shop- windows ' and various other damage, only to be settled
by ready money payments, which were by no means included
in the programme.

When the cob did start he would suddenly rear up on his
hind legs, make two or three bounds forward, and sometimes
— worse luck ! — sideways, and then, if he did no harm and the
harness stood, he would settle down, and land me in barracks
at the head of the fleet. The worst part of it was that I
could seldom get a pal to start with me, but dear old Lord
Chewton, who had no cart of his own, used occasionally to
ride with me ; still, he always took the precaution to walk on
till I overtook him, and then, by nipping up into his seat
pretty nimbly, we rode easily enough together.

One night — or, I should say, early morning — I was in a
queer fix. I had been home for a day or two, and had left my
cart and the cob at Cosham or Havant, I forget which, and I
returned by the mail train due at the station about 3 a.m., so
as to be in time for early parade. It was uncommon dark,
and I helped the ostler to put my cob into the cart inside the
station-yard, hoping for the best ; but alas ! as bad luck would
have it, my gee was in a shocking bad temper, and at starting
he sprang sideways and I was very near being jerked out of
the trap by the wheels coming into violent contact with some
remarkably solid substance. Out I got, and with the help of
the ostler's lantern I discovered that there were some very large
oak trees lying all ready to be loaded and sent off by rail.
My cob was fairly planted with his fore-legs over one of these
big trees, and was trembling with fright — serve him jolly well
right, too ! We had to unharness him, mend one of the traces
he had smashed, and put to again ; when, luckily, he had the
sense to abstain from meddling with the timber any more, and
I arrived at barracks all safe.

We often used to drive into Bognor, and those among us
who did not mind the motion of the boats used to fish, and
frequently had good sport. I used to look on, for reasons
that I have already touched upon. It was a curious sight to
see the small carts that were used in those days, with one or
even two dogs attached to them, waiting on the sands for the
fishermen's boats to come in, when the said carts would be
filled up with fish and the dogs would hurry back to the road,
where the owner would jump up on the cart and away would
go the dogs at a rare pace, either barking with joy or
growling at each other as they went along, and many a

HIPPY DAMER'S DOG. 67

mile inland did they travel before their load of fish was all
disposed of.

One day, poor old Hippy Darner, afterwards Lord Portar-
lington — who died only quite lately — bought one of these dogs
as a companion (not for the purpose of driving him), and soon
afterwards some of us discovered by pure accident that the
dear dog was of a very timid nature, and proceeded to act
upon it accordingly. One or two mischievous spirits were
making a row in Hippy's hut, and the door being shut the
scared dog sprang through the closed window. How on earth
he managed it no one could believe that had not seen the feat,
for he stood a foot or two higher than the size of the pane.
We were so struck with the performance that we decided to
have a repetition of it, if possible ; so, as soon as the glazier
had put in a new pane of glass, and we had marked ' little '
Hippy (he stood six feet three) into his hut, we sauntered in
after him; then in course of conversation we all simul-
taneously stamped on the floor, and the dear dog made his
escape through the window as before. As far as I recollect
this happened so often (of course, by accident T) that Hippy
would stand the glazier's bill no longer, and he parted with
his canine friend, who no doubt had to return to his former
employment.

During the summer of this year, 1852, we again played a
lot of cricket, conveying our eleven about on the coach to the
different places in the neighbourhood in much the same fashion
as we did in 1849, and every one seemed right glad to welcome
us back to the various cricket-grounds. Lieutenant Buckley
and Private George Duff were two useful men at the wicket,
as well as real good fellows ; but, alas ! both lie buried in
the Crimea. Our principal match, as far as I remember, was
one of two days against ' I Zingari ' at the Priory Grounds,
Chichester. I think we had the best of the first day's play,
and fondly imagined that by administering a good dose of
champagne, judiciously combined with plenty of other liquids,
at mess that evening, our opponents would certainly not im-
prove on our figures of the previous day. With this end in
view a certain number of our non-cricketing brother ofiicers
were told off to induce the wily ' I Zingari ' to imbibe glass
for glass with them. The most dangerous man of the lot, old
Ned Tredcroft, was especially well looked after, and I verily
believe took a bumper with everybody at the table ; however,
it did not signify how much he put away, for at two o'clock
in the morning he was just as sober as any one of the party.

68 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

I never heard him sing, song after song, better than he did
before we retired to bed, and, as far as I could judge from
sitting pretty adjacent to him, he generally mixed two parts
of gin to one of water each time he filled up.

Poor old Billy Ridley again distinguished himself on this
occasion. (My readers will recollect he did so on the evening
I joined the battalion in 1848.) Several of us had agreed
that we should have a bit of supper before turning in ; but as
the chef and his satellites had gone to roost, Ridley was called
upon to produce some grilled bones and fried potatoes. Now,
the said Billy had done himself fairly well (as per usual). The
fire was made up in the kitchen and the bones and the potatoes
placed before him, but it was far better than any play to see
him, with his glass fixed in his eye, resolutely set to work to
produce something out of the common. After a good deal of
strong language the pickle-bottles were handed to him where-
with to flavour the savoury mess, and with a look of deter-
mination he seized a fork and kept dabbing at the orifice of
the bottle, in hopes of extracting some succulent gherkins that
were bobbing about in the vinegar therein. But the soup or
else the coffee had been too strong, and had interfered with
his aim ; for, notwithstanding that he removed his eye-glass
from his eye, and rubbed it w^ell with his pocket-handkerchief,
he had to give it up as a bad job, and hand over the pickle-
bottle to one of the Ensigns to manipulate. He then called
loudly for the potatoes, and essayed to slice them before placing
them in the frying-j)an. Always disposed to be kind and lend
assistance in helping the Major, I contrived to hand him a bit
of soap — not a bad imitation of a potato I will admit — and
Avith renewed energy, after a pull at his glass, he went to work
on it and tried to slice the saponic atom ; and I am under the
belief that he added some very strong expressions, almost
unheard of, even in his extensive vocabulary, when he dis-
covered by smelling it — this w^as the only sense he appeared
to retain in any perfection — that he had been handling an
article not usually employed for culinary purposes. He hurled
it at my head, and was awfully riled at our jeering him when
he fancied he was doing his best to titivate oui' appetites with
something nice and tasty.

Supper over, I grieve to admit that one or two of our non-
cricketers required assisting to their respective huts. So
Buckley and I took charge of our best musician, who was
w^onderfully clever with the big fiddle ; but, instead of show-
ing his gratitude, he did actually the reverse, and while we

SHEEP-SHEARING COMPETITION. 69

Avere undressing and putting him to bed we gathered from his
language that he was under the impression that he was being
ill-treated.

After breakfast we drove down to the Priory Ground and
resumed our match ; but, to our astonishment, never did Ned
Tredcroft play better cricket, and, owing to the accuracy of
his eye and nerve, batted exceptionally well and brilliantly ;
so much so indeed that I think he was mainly instrumental in
gaining a victory for ' I Zingari.' I consider that this forcibly
illustrates that good liquor will not hurt any one if he only
takes plenty of exercise ; no matter what Sir Wilfred Lawson
and his ' tea-leaves and snowball ' admirers may urge to the
contrary.

One night, just as we were finishing mess, the sergeant of
the picket reported to us that there was a big fire raging at
no great distance from barracks. It was just before harvest
began, and the fields between us and the fire were mostly
standing corn, and, though I was average fit, I never ran a
much more severe two miles than on that night, as I went
straight from point to point. However, we did a lot of good,
and were mainly instrumental in saving several of the live
stock ; otherwise they would have been burnt to death in
the stables of the farm-yard, which were much injured by
the fire.

I must here relate two or three tales connected with my
favourite sport which happened during this summer. The
good old Duke of Richmond used to give prizes to those of
his neighboiu'S who excelled in sheep-shearing. The compe-
tition usually took place in Goodwood Park, and the pens,
containing three sheep for each competitor to try his hand
upon, were arranged under the shadow of a splendid cedar not
far from the garden gates. When the men had finished their
task, the large gathering of tenantry sat down to a capital
dinner provided in the tennis-court, and it was during the
latter part of the day's entertainment that I challenged any
man in Sussex to run 100 yards and jump ten hurdles. As
no one responded, I offered any one, bar my own regiment,
ten yards start. A young farmer, Jim Gorham — who I am
glad to say is alive and well still, for I met him last July at
Goodwood Paces — said he did not mind having a try ; so it
was agreed that the match should be run on the Parade Ground
in the barrack-yard.

It came off on a market-day. A great lot of people came
to see it, and there was a deal of excitement over it, not to say

70 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

betting on the result. Gorliam stood Tvitli his back to the
first hurdle, and, therefore, only had to jump nine to my ten.
We went off to a good start, and just as I was getting to him
at the ninth hurdle I sang out, ' Go it, Gorham ! ' and if I had
shot him dead he could not have come down sharper than he
did, and, naturally, I walked in. Poor Gorham was, for-
tunately, not hurt, or any the worse for his tumble ; but his
feelings must have suffered severely from the remarks of some
of his neighbours, who had doubtless lost their money, for
several were heard to declare that he had a ' soft spot ' and
could not struggle when collared, &:c.

As his falling was an accident I offered him another chance ;
but he was satisfied and wished for no more.

We had a dapper little Ensign called Roger Mostyn, and he
is well to the front now, I am glad to say. Now, Eoger could
jump a good bit higher than I could, and moved pretty smartly
as well. He was celebrated for being very cautious in making
any wager ; but one evening he and I made a match to run
100 yards over ten hurdles. He was to write it all out, and
I let him have it all his own way, one condition being that he
was to get the hurdles made, and that they were to be 4 ft.
high. I may here mention that the usual height for hurdle-
racing is 3 ft. 3 in. and 3 ft. 6 in. When he had quite finished
writing out the conditions, I suggested that the loser should
pay for the hurdles, and that each man should be permitted to
fix the obstacles in the ground upon his side of the track. To
this he agreed, and I found in practising that 4 ft. hurdles
were too high for me to hurry over ; more particularly as
Koger had had the hurdles made tremendously stiff and fit to
turn a round shot.

The day before the race I cut the upright stakes of my
hurdles very short, so that they only went into the ground a
few inches, and, as luck would have it, there was no wind the
day of our match, or my hurdles would certainly have been
blown down. Roger's were firmly driven into the soil, and
would have upset a bullock. We dashed off, and I jumped
the first hurdle clean, but caught all the other nine with my
foot in rising, knocking them down, and naturally chancing
a fall, but I breasted the tape some two yards in front of
poor Roger, who, I fancy, had been laughing up his sleeve
at the cropper that I should probably come — only the hurdles
fell on this occasion, instead. There was a slight wrangle
over it ; but in the end it was decided in my favour, and poor
Roger had to part.

TRUNDLE HILL. 71

About this time my young friend Roger had been practising
walking, and he made a match to walk forty miles in eight
hours, fair heel and toe. I, for one, laid against him ; but,
as the sequel will show, I knew nothing : for he got back the
money he had lost over hurdles and won with a nice little
bit in hand. He walked on a common about half-a-mile out
of barracks, and a very smart private in our left flank
company, named Carter, walked with him all the way,
attending to his wants with bottle and sponge. Koger was a
bit tired at the finish and, being a light-weight. Carter picked
him up on his shoulder and carried him into barracks — quite
a useful performance upon the part of both officer and private.
I ran one other match this summer with Buckley ; but I
think I will only mention that I won it, for we have had
almost enough of foot-racing for the present, and will say a
little about our trade, viz. soldiering.

Our commanding officer, Colonel Colville — the most gentle-
manlike of C.O.s — was very fond of experiments, and one of
his pet notions was to arrange a method of passing signals to
and fro an extended line of men by means of various devices.
For this purpose we paraded at an early hour and marched on
to the hills about two miles from barracks, and when we
reached the top of Trundle Hill, where the horses all pull up
after the finish of any race at Goodwood, we deployed right
and left into line, each man opening out till he had taken up
such a position from his right- and left-hand men as enabled
him to observe all their movements without fear of error, and
taking all advantage of the nature of the ground — for instance,
suppose he wished to pass the word from right to left ' The
enemy is in sight,' the right-hand man held his firelock hori-
zontally over his head ; and, if all went well, it was wonderful
to see how rapidly the signal was passed along a line
extending perhaps five or six miles. Of course there were
various signals, but I merely allude to one as an example of
how the thing was worked.

One fine morning the old gentleman thought he would fire
blank cartridge from right to left ; the popping went on nice
and smoothly for about two miles, when, terrible to relate, a
boy who was ' tending crows ' about that distance from the left-
mid flank let off his pistol, which started the signal-firing
from that point to the extreme left some time before the
real signal had reached the centre of the line, and led to a
dreadful fiasco, besides worrying our CO. very much into the
bargain.

72 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

The following story may not appear half as amusing to
read as it appeared to us who were present, but I think it is
worth recording. It was after a field-day that we had gone
through early one morning on the Downs that the Colonel
ordered the battalion to ' pile arms.' The ramrods were then
drawn, and every three were formed into a tripod, from which
a cooking utensil — which was carried by every man when
in full marching order — was suspended some six or seven
inches from the ground. Then the men were told to ' collect
fuel,' as if to cook the rations ; both commodities being scarce,
it was very funny to see the men returning at the bugle-call
some carrying a stick or two, others with a bunch of gorse,
two or three straws, or an odd thistle. When these various
articles for making a fire had been methodically placed under
the cooking-kettles, and we were supposed to have finished
our meal, the bugle sounded ' lie down,' and, it being a very
hot morning with a blazing sun, we all flopped down readily
enough. The word was then passed down the ranks that it
was night, and we were supposed to court balmy sleep after
the fatigues of the day till such time as ' reveille ' sounded,
when we w^ere all to jump smartly up and be prepared for the
worst. Now, we had a man in our sixth company who could
imitate the various calls made by the denizens of the farmyard
at break of day, and he, being a bit of a wag, started crowing
like a champion rooster at sunrise. Naturally the whole
battalion burst out into a roar of laughter, much to the
annoyance of our chief, who shrieked out to the drill-sergeant :
' Take that man's name ! take that man's name ! ' But the
sergeant, being equal to the occasion, drew himself up to his
full height and, with a pattern military salute, said : ' I beg
pardon, sir ; but, as it's night, I cannot see him.' As this was
true according to the instructions issued, the Colonel told the
bugler to sound ' reveille,' and we all jumped up, and the matter
passed ofl" ; but it was all very funny at the time, I can assure
you, and quite enough to tickle your risible faculties had you
but seen and heard it as I did.

Our CO. was rather disposed to resent unpunctuality on
the part of his officers, and one day he had occasion to find
fault with me for being late on church-parade. We were
quartered at Portman Street Barracks, and it was a very
windy morning — in fact, it blew half a gale — and the gusts
that swept round the corners of the streets almost blew my
bearskin off. Well, I was called to the front and reproved
for my want of punctuality, when I had the audacity to urge

A NOVEL EXCUSE. 73

in my favour that I had been unable to procure a cab, and
that I had made such bad weather of it in the high wind with
so much ' head sail set ' (to wit, my high bearskin) that I was
a long time fetching round the corners. I was complimented
on the extremely novel nature of my excuse, but, at the same
time, I was advised ' not to do it again.'

74

CHAPTER Yin.

Leave Chicliester — Deatli of the Duke of Wellington — The Funeral—
Boxing-lessons — Ned Adams — Playing Light — A Word of Advice —
Jock JDaliymple— Fred Thesiger — Dick Bateson — Tom Steele — 'The
Shaver ' and ' The Giant ' — Prize-fight : Broome v. Orme — JMatch with
Duncan Baillie to Kun 100 Yards and Walk 20 Miles in Four Hours
— Stay with Peel in Norfolk — ' The Norwich Pet ' — Biters Bit— ' Flying
Tailor '—A Bit of Fatherly Counsel— E. C. Burton— My First Defeat
— Some Account of 'Doey Burton.'

"With many regrets frora nearly all of us, we left Chichester
for London, arriving at St. John's Wood Barracks on the 1st
of September, 1852. Three companies in all were quartered
at St. John's AVood, and the other five were distributed among
the various other London barracks.

I do not think that I have anything special to record
during the following six months, save the death of the great
Duke of Wellington. This national calamity took place on
Tuesday the 14tli of September, and all England mourned
the loss of her greatest warrior. The body was, of course,
embalmed, and lay in state for six days before the funeral
in Chelsea Hospital. Each regiment of Guards alternately
found a guard of honour of one hundred men and three
officers, and they were on duty at the lying in state. Enor-
mous crowds of people from all parts, and of all denominations,
kept continually pouring in and out of the darkened chamber
to catch a farewell glimpse of the face of England's departed
hero, before he was borne to his last resting-place in the crypt
of St. Paul's Cathedral, where his coffin was placed almost
immediately above that of Nelson.

The guard and the officer in charge of the body were re-
lieved every hour. It was a most impressive scene. I was
one of the three officers detailed for this duty on the 13th of
November, which fell on a Saturday, the crowd being more
dense than upon any other day in consequence of the numbers
of working people and others who were enabled to view the

DUKE OF WELLINGTON'S FUNERAL. 75

solemn pageant on account of it being a half -holiday. The
men lined the hall of Chelsea Hospital with their firelocks
reversed and with bowed head resting on the butt of the
firelock ; this was a very tiring position, and an hour at a
time was ample. The ofiicers on duty had to stand at the
head of the cofiin. Tall wax candles were placed under and
around the canopy, which shed a brilliant light upon the
remarkable features of that greatest of men. Not a sound
was heard, except when, perhaps, the police would say ' Move
on, please.' All was solemn and silent as befitted the occasion.
The funeral took place on Thursday the 18th of November,
and, though the weather had been somewhat unsettled pre-
viously, yet the morning of that day was bright and sunny in
the extreme, and lasted so till the obsequies were at an end.
Our battalion formed part of the procession, in which there
were representatives of every corps in the British Army.
"We paraded at 6.45 a.m. at the Horse Guards, which entailed
our leaving barracks about 6 a.m. We fell in at nine o'clock,
and marched four deep at slow step up Constitution Hill,
along Piccadilly, St. James's Street, Pall Mall, the Strand,
and Fleet Street to Ludgate Hill, where the Guards lined
each side of the street till the service was over. It was a
most wearisome trudge, as the procession was such a long one
that we had often to stand still and wait from five minutes
to a quarter of an hour before we could move on. As I have
said, it was, fortunately, a fine day, for we had all got our
dress uniforms on. We wore a broad crape scarf over the
right shoulder ; all our gold lace and ornaments were covered
with crape, and all officers wore black gloves. The men had
only biscuits served out to them ; but as the spectators, who
not only thronged the streets, bat also the windows of pretty
nearly every house on the route, had provided themselves
with hampers of eatables, besides plenty to drink — which
they foolishly, although good-naturedly, passed down to the
men lining the thoroughfare — it took very little time before
some of the men showed the effect of their libations. One
party in particular, who occupied a window about the centre
of where my company was posted, would persist in letting
down bottles of spirits by a string ; so I was compelled to do
what I have never done purposely before or since, namely,
wantonly waste good liquor ; for, as soon as a bottle was
within reach, I held my sword by the blade and swung the
hilt round against the bottle ; which action, of course, resulted
in the liquor finding its way into the gutter, and caused no

-je FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

little grumbling among the men. Nevertheless, had I not
executed this manoeuvre I am convinced that I should never
have succeeded in getting my company back to Portman
Street Barracks ; several were none too steady, as it was.

I always look back upon this day of the Duke's funeral as
one of the hardest day's work I ever took part in ; for when
I dismissed my company at barracks, I got into a cab and
rattled oil to my lodgings, intending to put on mufti and go
down to the Guards' Club and have something to eat, as it
was getting on for nine o'clock ; but I rashly lay down for
what I meant to be a five minutes' snooze, and never woke
till between two and three in the morning, when, the Club
of course being closed, I could get nothing to eat till break-
fast next morning. Thus ended the last tribute of respect
which a grateful country paid to its preserver, and though
laid to rest, his unblemished character and renown both as a
statesman and soldier will never, I trust, be forgotten. I
omitted to mention that the Prince Consort acted as chief
mourner, and the Duke of Cambridge was in command of the
troops on the day of the funeral.

Now, to return from chronicles of the dead to those of the
living. It was during this autumn of 1852 that I gave up
a spare hour occasionally to practise the ' noble art of self-
defence ' — a study I can conscientiously recommend to any
young man, as it cannot possibly do him any harm, and may
stand him in good stead sooner or later. Would that all my
compatriots could be taught to rely upon their ten digits,
and then we should hear less of the use of the knife or
revolver, as all differences might be settled w4th Nature's
weapons. I used to take frequent lessons from one Ned
Adams, who was as clever as a monkey, and we used to start
our boxing-bouts with the distinct understanding that we
were to ' play light ' ; but, deary me ! it is much easier to
intend to do so than to carry it ovit ; for I put it to any man
— if you get one or two smart taps on your proboscis, just
sufficient to make your eyes water, it stands to reason that
you must do your level best to give your opponent something
just to equalize matters, and, with a vicious lunge, you revel
in feeling that you have got well home with your left ; but,
quicker than thought, in comes his right, and if you only see
stars you are pretty lucky, while if you have the audacity to
reproach him for his interference with your nasal organ he
meekly replies : ' Well, j^ou see, guv'nor, you 'it me first,
and it wasn't altogether playful, neither. Still, I'm sorry as

THE NOBLE ART. -jy

I let go, and 'opes it 'ain't 'nrt yer.' I soon found out that
to box well you must have a wonderful command over your
temper ; for the moment that you get riled at receiving a
sharpish tap, you as surely lay yourself open to punishment,
as, regardless of consequences, you lower your guard and
rattle away like a bull in a china-shop.

There were many officers in the Guards well known to be
fairly clever with their ' dukes,' notably, Tom Steele and Jock
Dalrymple (' Black Dal '), Dick Bateson, and Ered Thesiger
(now Lord Chelmsford). These two last were a capital match,
being both long, lathy men, with tremendous reach, and very
active on their pins ; but some of the best sport we had with
the gloves was when the old Blues were on duty at the Horse
Guards. No two men were fonder of this invigorating sport
than the late Sir Robert Sheffield (' The Shaver ') and the
present Lord Fitzhardinge ('The Giant'), and they seldom
went on guard without having some of the ' fancy ' down to
put on the gloves with, for a bit of practice

Among those professionals who used to be summoned for
this purpose I may mention Joe Hoiles (commonly known as
' The SjDider ') and another well-known name in the pugilistic
world. Alec Keane. Jack Hannan, too, frequently appeared
on the scene, and was always ready for a little jDractice with
any one at all desirous of the same.

I used now and again to go and see a merry mill, and often
found a portion of the battle-money for one side or the other.
The fight that I recollect most about, before I went to the
Crimea, was the match between Broome and Orme, at Milden-
hall in Suffolk, and hardly ever did I see a greater contrast
between two men of about the same weight. Broome was
much taller, and his reach far longer, than Orme's ; he was
also very fair. Orme was, as we should say of a racehorse,
' too set,' and had not the liberty of his opponent. He was
as dark-skinned and swarthy as a gipsy, his splendidly-
developed chest being covered with a forest of black hair.
It was a long and protracted battle, but eventually reach
and science told its tale, and Broome gained the day.

One evening, dining on guard, I made a match with Duncan
Baillie of the Blues. I was to give him five yards start in a
hundred — running, and to walk twenty miles inside the four
hours. As I was pretty well at the time, I tried to get on
some money that I walked the first twelve miles in two hours ;
but nobody would bet. The match came off on a mile of
ground near a public-house called The Magpies, at Arlington

'j^ FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Corner. I think I walked the &st twelve miles a minute
over the two hours, so, had the pieces been down, I doubt not
that I could have knocked off that minute and landed the
coin. The remainder of the distance I walked at my ease,
except in the last half-mile, which the famous Charley
"Westhall, who attended upon me dui'ing this match, per-
suaded me to do at my best, to show that I was not tired,
and that spurt regularly settled me. I fancy I had about
twenty minutes to spare at the end. By the bye, I quite
forgot to mention that I polished olf my old friend Duncan
before starting for my walk.

Whilst ruminating over this match, I have just recollected
a little morning's diversion that happened shortly before the
match I have just mentioned. I was paying my old friend,
Edmund Peel, a visit at a place of his in Norfolk, and several
of the men staying there for shooting expressed a wish to see
me run ; so a challenge was despatched to Norwich by the
post-cart that I would give any man in Norwich five pounds
that could beat me. I hardly expected that the bait would
take so readily ; but the very next morning, while we were
finishing breakfast, a dog-cart was seen driving up the ap-
proach, containing two men, whom from their appearance we
at once guessed to be the running representatives of the town
of Norwich. We all repaired to the stable-yard and surveyed
the East Anglian athletes. Addressing the elder and larger
of the twain, I asked him if his young friend that he had
brought with him had come to fetch my ' fiver.' He replied :
' Oh, no. I've come for that.' When I suggested that he
looked more like hurrying than the speaker, he answered :
* Bless yer 'art ! I can give 'im five yards in a 'undred.'
However, I thought otherwise, and determined to play
' 'possum.'

At that time I usually took about with me on my country
visits a little man named Jimmy Patterson (' The Flying
Tailor ') ; he was employed at my old tailor's (one of the best),
Hill, of Old Bond Street, who was himself very partial to the
' cinder-path.' Jimmy and I were much about the same form
at 100 yards, and many a score of times have we stripped
and run together in all parts of the country to which I used
to go shooting, and, for fear that the inhabitants who looked
on at our practice should know too much, we used to beat
each other alternately in om* gallops. But ' to retm-n to our
muttons' : I had left the men in the stable-yard and ran
up-stairs to put on my running kit. When I retiu-ned, the

THE 'NORWICH PET.' 79

whole 2^osse comitatus marched out on the high-road, and a
motley group we were. Keepers, beaters, young swells with
their loaders, and any one from the house that could get out
for half-an-hour. I was rather astonished that my opponent
did not take off his overalls, though he had put on a pair of
spiked shoes to run in. We had not gone thirty yards before
I found that I could lose him ; so I ran with him and only
beat him about half a yard. He had no sooner pulled up
than I began to chaif him, telling him that he could not go
fast enough to keep himself warm. When he replied :
' Well, my young friend 'ere shall run yer ' — ' What is the
good of that 1 ' I answered ; ' you told me that you could beat
him easy just now.' Upon which he retorted : ' Never yer
mind about what I said just now, 'e's good enough to beat
you, 'cause you only just bested me.' Curiously enough, the
lesser and younger man, who was so inferior to his comrade,
was, when divested of his superfluous clothing and had toed
the scratch, about as near naked as decency would permit,
and had a lovely little pair of spiked shoes on as well. From
the buoyancy of their spirits it was pretty plain that they
thought they had got a real good thing on this time ; so I
recommended the keepers and beaters to put their dollars on
me, till quite a heap of silver depended on the result.

Off we went, and I beat the ' Norwich Pet ' about five yards,
and I do not think I ever saw two sportsmen more flabber-
gasted at the result. My first opponent was now lost in
astonishment, and said to me, ' Well, guv'nor, you've done us
to rights this time ! Why, 'e can give me five yards, and
heasy too, and you only beat me 'arf a yard ! ' ' Never mind,'
said I ; ' I don't believe that either of you can run a little bit.
Look here ! my servant shall run you.' The ' Flying Tailor '
was out of his clothes in an instant, and, of course, polished
off ' The Pet ' as easy as I had done.

Poor things ! they looked so down on their luck that I was
obliged to give them a bit of gold and some fatherly advice
gratis — to the effect that they should not try to be too clever
with a poor, innocent young soldier.

I have reason to believe that the two would-be sharps
returned to Norwich considerably crestfallen, and somewhat
lighter in pocket than when they started in the morning ; but
they did not so much mind ' being beat by the Captain,' it
was being found inferior to his servant that they did not
relish.

I must now relate a tale which concerns little Jimmy

8o FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Patterson. While he was carrying my second gun that day,
I asked him if he had ever been in Norwich. He said, ' Only
once, and for a short time, as he found it would be a little too
hot for him if he remained there.' My curiosity being aroused,
I bid him tell me his experiences there. As far as I recollect,
here is the story in his own words — •

' Well, you see. Captain, it was in this way. Two or three
years ago there was a sprinter in Norwich who was thought a
deal of by his fellow-citizens, and no doubt but what he had
beat the best men in that neighbourhood. Well, a gentleman
comes to me in London one day and says, " Jimmy," he says,
'' are you in want of a job ] because I think I can put a pony
or fifty pounds into your pocket ; but it will take a bit of
doing, mind you. First of all, you must let your hair grow,
and don't you go for to shave till I tell you, and practise
walking a trifle lame, and if you can whistle nice and shrill
between your teeth, all the better." '' When are you likely to
want uieV I says. " In about three weeks or more," says he ;
" but mind you keep yourself straight : for you'll have to
hurry when I send for you." Well, sure enough, about a
month after, I found the gent had called, and, not finding me,
he sent a letter to say I was to meet him at a small town
about ten mile out of Norwich. When I got there, I found
a lot of drovers who were taking their sheep to Norwich Fair.
My gentleman soon picked out one of these men, who was
short and thick-set like me, and we adjourned to a small
public-house, near to a field where this drover's flock of sheep
were shut in for the night. The gentleman soon showed he
had plenty of money, and as the drover was accommodating
in the way of thirst, he quickly became unconscious. We
slept in the same bed, he and I, at the pot-house, as there was
none too much room in the place, and this just suited, for
before leaving Norwich my gentleman give me a couple of
powders, and told me his plans for the morrow, which, for my
part, I carried out to the letter.

' Before turning in for the night I brought up two pints of
beer, and set them on the table. I clapped a powder into
each pot of beer, and lay down for a sleep. Just before the
sun rose, I, with difiiculty, aroused my bedfellow ; but he said
he wouldn't get up unless I brought him some beer. This
was just what I wanted ; he drained olf one pint, and half the
other, and, to my satisfaction, went oli' in a deep sleep. I
then put on the drover's old clothes, and rolled up my own
into a bundle, which I slung over my shoulder upon the

JIMMY PATTERSON'S STORY. 8i

drover's stick ; then I went to the field where his sheep were,
let them out on the high-road, and with them in front of me,
started for Norwich Fair. When I was within about a mile
of the town I heard some wrangling going on in a public by
the roadside, and, sure enough, there was my gentleman, and
as soon as I got the sheep a bit settled, I waddled up, as if to
see what was going on. My disguise was so good that, had
we not arranged a password, my gent would hardly have
known me, as I leaned first on one leg and then on t'other, as
if lame and very weary. However, I listened pretty eager,
and heard my gent say to a nobby-looking sportsman with
whom he had evidently just driven out of the town in a dog-
cart, " What I" he says, " do you mean to tell me as that man
there, the ' Norwich Pet,' or the ' Mouse,' or whatever you
like to call him, can do level time for a hundred yards ? — not
he ! " and beckoning to me, my gentleman says, " Here, drover,
can you run at all "? " I pulled my forelock and says, " I could
at one time, sir ; but I've met with bad times, and though I'm
a bit lame, it's a strange nice level bit of road just here, and
I'm game to take five yards off that man" (meaning the
" Pet") " in a hundred yards, just for a quart of best ale."

' " Well," says the nobby one, " that's pretty good cheek,
surely ! I'll bet a pony or fifty on my man." Thereupon my
gentleman says, " Well, I don't think much of your man, so
I'll have you for fifty on t'other." " Done ! " says he, and
with that we all goes into the public, and we two takes off
our outer clothes ; and you may be sure. Captain, as I was
jolly glad to get out of the old drover's toggery, for it wasn't
altogether quite Eau de Cologne as they smelt of.

' The distance was measured. I was put five yards inside
the mark, and the money staked in the hands of the landlord.
Off we jumped, and, about halfway, I let him get nearly up
to me, when, after apparently a regular ding-dong race, I won
by half a yard ; but I made up my mind that I could have
given the countryman a bit of start, and not he me. Luckily,
I got the chance to whisper this to my gentleman ; so, after a
friendly glass, the nobby one agreed to go double or quits,
both to start level. It was a pretty race, but I won much
as before, and am pretty confident I could have given my
opponent three or four yards. I was to meet my gentleman
by appointment that evening in Norwich, and after they had
all driven off, I left the old drover's clothes and sheep in the
landlord's charge, got back into the town by a roundabout
way, and walked about the Fair, listening to the different

G

82 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

accounts of the morning's performance, which was great fun ;
but I was a bit uncomfortable lest my last night's bedfellow
might turn up. He did not, however ; and so it was all right.
I duly met my gentleman, and he was a real gentleman too,
Captain, for he gave me twenty-five pounds ; but advised me
to clear out of Norwich, and go up to London by the first
train, along with him, which I did, for I think, as you'll agree,
it wasn't worth my while to stop when there was a lot of the
"Fancy" about as knew the "Flying Tailor" well by sight;
and he wasn't no dead nuts on meeting with them, seeing that
they might have made it a bit too warm for him.'

This story is a long one ; but it is pretty much as he told it
to me, and I thought it a pity not to relate it intact.

We had a first-rate shoot that day, and killed some un-
common large hares, one elephantine pussy turning the scale
considerably over ten pounds, the heaviest I have ever seen
before or since. I take it they did not follow my precept of
taking lots of strong exercise, but probably lived well, and
therefore accumulated adipose tissue !

Now I am going to tell you of my fii^st defeat upon the
running track, which happened soon after my return to
London, when the party at Edmund Peel's broke up. I was
beaten at 120 yards at the ' Old Cope' by E. C. Burton, the
best all-round man I ever knew ; and glad I am to say that he
was fit and well as ever only last year, when we were standing
together at Sandown Park Paces watching the National Hunt
Steeplechase (won by Captain Crawley's Van der Berg, ridden
by a real game Guardsman, Sir C. Slade). Now * Doey '
Burton was at that time reading for the law, and I did not
take as much trouble as I should have done in my training.
Firstly, because I underrated my antagonist, and, secondly,
because I was given to understand that he was not training
over hard — in fact one of our mutual friends told me that he
was in the habit of taking a bottle of claret every night for
dinner. Of course, it was soft of me to listen to these tales ;
at the same time I felt confident then, and I do now, that the
best man won. I extract the following from a book called
The Record of the University Boat-Race. In writing of the
crews of 1846, in which year Burton rowed number two in the
Oxford eight, the writer says : ' Of these, the best all-round
man, not only of that day but of any age in University
aquatics, was Mr. E. C. Burton, now residing at Daventry,
Northamptonshire. Among his many accomplishments, he
could run. The Guards had a crack sprinter in those days —

SOME ACCOUNT OF 'DOEY BURTON.' 83

to wit, the present Sir J. T>. Astley — and a match was made
between these two celebrities. Each side backed their man
boldly, and the public believed for choice in the Guardsman ;
but young Oxford was too many for them, and when Burton
walked in a winner it was said that Christ Church and its
coterie " spoiled the Philistines." ' To do my old pal more
honour I quote once more, from a book called Roiving at
Westminster ; here it says — ' E. C. Burton also went to Christ
Church in 1845, where he won the University fours, rowing
number three in the Christ Church crew. In 1846 he won the
Oxford pairs with A. Milman ; rowed number two in his
University boat against Cambridge, and the same oar in the
Eton and Westminster crew at Henley and the Thames
Regatta. At the latter he won the Champion Sculler's cup,
beating Peacock, and Pussell the winner of the " AVingfield
Sculls," and five others. He won the Oxford fours again in
1846. In 1847 he was elected President of "Oxford
University Boat Club," and won the Oxford Sculls, beating
sixteen others. In this year he took Christ Church to the
head of the river, and kept her there three years. At Henley
he rowed stroke of Oxford University and won the Grand
Challenge Cup ; also in the Christ Church four, the Visitors'
Plate, and Stewards' Cup, and Oxford fours for the third
time. In 1848 he again rowed stroke of Oxford and won the
Grand Challenge Cup, and number six in the Christ Church
eight which won the Ladies' Plate, and both four-oared cups
with the Christ Church crew. In 1851 he trained and steered
the Oxford crew at Henley, when they won the Grand
Challenge Cup. Mr. Burton is well known in other fields as
a sportsman of the very first rank.'

I will dilate further on E. C. Burton's mighty deeds in the
saddle, &c., later on, when I treat of the time after my return
from the Crimea ; for I shall always look upon him as the
best all-round man I ever knew, and his many exploits are
well worth recordinsf.

84

CHAPTER IX.

Stay at Tredegar — TLe ' Bristol Mouse ' — David Williamson — Match with
Rowland Hill — Give Five Yards, Same Result- — Move to Windsor — ■
' Ducky ' Grantham — Training-quarters at Surley — Frost and Levett — •
Dan Dismore — Catch a Weasel Asleep ? — The Race — Doing the Double
— A Speedy Retreat — Nearly Done Twice — No More Backers for Frost
— Cricket with the Blues — A Row to Marlow and Back — Shakespeare
— Fire at Windsor Castle — Strawberry Jam and Noyau not a Good
Mixture — My New Command — Matches with Fred Sayer — Hockey on
the Slopes (pond) at Windsor CastJe,

During this winter of 1852 I spent a very jolly time at
Tredegar Park, near Newport ; this was when the old Lord
(father of the present man) kept and hunted his own hounds
there. A nicer lot of boys and girls no parent was ever blessed
with. Godfrey (the present peer) is well to the front, and is
one of the few remaining 17th Lancers who behaved so bril-
liantly in the ever-memorable Balaclava charge ; Fred, M.P. for
Monmouth, late Pafle Brigade, hunts the hounds and has some
useful olive branches of both sexes that are amazingly like
their sire in looks and make, as well as in their intense fond-
ness for all kinds of sport ; Arthur, who is a bit handicapped
by going rather dotty on the near fore, or would be bang
among 'em now — comprise the sons with whom I was, and am,
best acquainted. As for the daughters of the house, their
good qualities and good looks are too well known to need any
mention by me. I was asked by the latter to show them a bit
of running, and it so happened that just at this time a man
called the ' Bristol Mouse ' had vanquished the ' Newport
Stag'; therefore I sent a message to the ' Mouse' to say that
he could earn a fiver by coming to Tredegar and running me
100 yards. The ' Mouse,' on arrival, looked such a puny
S23ecimen of humanity that I gave him five yards on the road
outside the lodge-gates, and beat him so easy that he would
not try again, though I offered him ten yards.

The ladies seemed much pleased with my performance, and

MATCH WITH ROWLAND HILL. 85

Lady Tredegar presented me that evening with a scarf-pin, and
crowned me with a wreath of laurel-leaves. When I left the
house I was commissioned by David Williamson (of Lawers),
who was in the Coldstream Guards, to buy him two hunters at
Tattersall's on the following Monday, and send them down to
him at once, as he was very busy courting one of the Miss
Morgans at the time, and was anxious to distinguish himself
over the reens (deep ditches or drains) with the hounds.

I was fortunate enough to make a good selection of two, and
they did not cost more than £150 the pair of them. They
answered his purpose so well that he took the young lady to
church very shortly afterwards, and a comelier couple parson
has seldom, if ever, tied up.

Next, I went to Bryn-y-Pys again for more shooting and
some capital hunting. Amongst the guests was Kowland (now
Lord) Hill, who was styled the champion runner of Wales.
Of course I was obliged to try and take his number down ;
which I did so easily that I condescended to give him five
yards start, and, to his unfeigned astonishment, I beat him
further than when we ran level. He and his brother Geoffrey
were wonderful keen sportsmen, much addicted to the noble
sport of otter-hunting, and possessing a first-rate pack of ' water
dogs.' Now this, though no doubt a very exciting sport, has,
in my humble opinion, one very great drawback : for the
huntsman must needs be in the water, and the consequence of
wearing saturated clothes for so many hours at a stretch is
nearly certain to make him a victim to rheumatism, and I
venture to think that those plucky brothers would have been
all the better if they had left otter-hunting alone.

In the spring of 1853 we moved to Windsor, and I was
delighted to get back to our old quarters again. As I could
not afford to keep racehorses, I thought that I might try
keeping 7nen that could race, and Grantham, who had now
retired from the ' cinder-path,' was the landlord of the well-
known public at Surley Hall, the favourite resort of Eton
boys after a hard row up stream, and which had a lawn
sloping right down to the river. By road it was about a
mile and a half from Windsor. I found this a very suitable
spot for my jjurpose, and where I could put up a pedestrian or
two and arrange matches for them at different distances ;
besides superintending their training, run them trials, and so
afford myself a lot of amusement, as well as make myself
acquainted with each man's capabilities. On the whole I did
not pay my expenses with these nimble atoms ; for I found

86 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

that a favourite saying of old Fred Swindell's was but too
true, viz. : ' Never back anything as can talk.'

I had matched a man named Frost against Levett to run ten
miles, and what with my own and 'Ducky' Grantham's
assiduous attention, Frost had done such a good trial on the
Maidenhead road against the watch, that we looked forward
with confidence to his being victorious. Now, I had heard
that the other man, Levett, had been coughing, and I rather
expected he would pay forfeit ; but his backer, a very cute
and somewhat unscrupulous old party of the name of Dan
Dismore, made up his mind to try and get the best of this
young soldier. So one day when I had punted up from
Windsor, and was just making fast to the lawn at Surley,
I heard a trap drive up to the door, and on running up to
see who it was, I discovered that the cab contained old
Dismore and his 2^otege, Levett ; so I went up to the bed-
room in which Frost was getting ready for a five-mile trot, and
from the window I thus hailed the new arrivals. ' Good-
morning, gents. What brings you down here, and how is Mr.
Levett 1 ' The cute one looked up, and with considerable
self-possession rej)lied that ' They had only come to see IVLr.
Frost,' I then produced Frost at the open window and said,
' Here he is, you can say what you have got to tell him from
where you are.' I went out of the room, turned the key on
my athlete, and joined the gentlemen (!) from London in the
bar. I offered them a certain amount of hospitality, but
informed them that it would be no manner of use waiting any
longer, as I did not consider it expedient that they should hold
any converse with my man. They regretted that I should be
so suspicious, and, getting into their trap again, informed me
that they would be off to London, in that case. I pretended
that I was going home by river, and, running down the lawn,
I hauled up my punt, chucked in the chain with a rattle, and
shoved off ; but very shortly pulled up behind an eyot and
listened. Sui-e enough I soon heard a trap on the road ; so I
jumped ashore, and hastening to the front of the inn I met
my friends again. After exchanging a few pleasantries, I
suggested that to make sure they were off this time, I would
ride as far as the station with them, and away we went.
After I had seen them off by the train, I drove back and took
my man out for his five-miles' spin ; and from what happened
subsequently, there is no doubt I was not a bit too suspicious ;
for their object in coming down was to square Frost.

A few days later the match came off (I think at Hackney

DOING THE DOUBLE. S7

Wick). There was a tremendous crowd, and as they laid 5
to 4 against my man, I felt pretty sure that there was some-
thing wrong, more particularly as I knew for certain that
Levett was amiss. So I engaged old Tom Paddock at a
sovereign, and he was to provide eight or ten other useful
men at a dollar each, to scatter themselves round the side of
the track to see that my man was not interfered with. I took
100 to 80 twice, and told Frost that I would give him the
stake (<£50) if he won, and that he was to cut out the work at
his best pace, as I was sure the other man was all wrong. He
followed my instructions to the letter, and won anyhow. I
was paying Paddock and his men, when I got warning to be
off at once, as my man had ' put the double on,' and both he
and I were to catch it ; so I hurried off to my cab (I always
had a first-class hansom that took me backwards and forwards
on these expeditions), and when I jumped into it, to my
astonishment I found Frost, who I had been told had already
made himself scarce, enveloped in a rug, with nothing on but
his little short running drawers. He implored me to take
him off at once. I said : ' What does all this mean 1 ' He
replied : ' I put the double on 'em. I behaved all right to
you, Captain ; but just before I left my room to go down to
the start, one of the other side came with a pot of porter and
said : " If you drink this, I will give you a fifty-pound note."
I said : " No, but bring me a pint bottle corked and the wire
on, and Til drink it ; stake your fifty pound." I did so, and
they had to hurry out, as some one was coming up the stairs.
I put my finger down my throat, and got rid of the porter ;
and here's their fifty, I ran with it in my belt. Now you
understand what makes 'em all so wild.' Of course I was
very angry with him ; but he did not care about it at the
time, for he got my £50, their £50, and his share of the gate-
money, which amounted to another .£50. (There was £150
taken at the gate in sixpences.)

Well, he never found a backer again, and you must
admit that I was very near ' carted ' twice over that little
affair.

The Poyal Horse-Guards Blue were quartered at the
Cavalry Barracks during this summer, and I have lately
been reminded by an old friend (' The Giant ') formerly in
that regiment, of the excitement caused by a cricket-match
played at these barracks between the Blues and my battalion.
He wrote : ' We won and nearly broke all you chaps ; so, to
get a little money back, you gave poor Duncan Baillie five

88 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

yards start in a race across the green, and you got beat
a head.' I have no doubt his account is correct, but I ought
to Imve beaten Baillie, as I had done so previously at Arlington
Corner under similar conditions.

Many of our men were constantly on the river, and I sug-
gested to some of the non-commissioned officers to get up
a crew to row up to Mario w and back ; so one fine day I
hired an old ten-oar at Tolliday's and we went. I rowed
stroke, with eight N.C.O.s behind me and Wenny Coke in the
bow. We started after the men's dinner, and got on nicely
as far as Maidenhead, when the N.C.O.s began to tire ', but,
by the aid of copious libations at every available spot, we
reached Mario w, some sixteen miles by water from Windsor.

We had a meat tea, and then started to row home again,
hoping to get back to barracks in time for tattoo ; but,
though the stream was with us, all the N.C.O.s were so done
wp that we failed to do so, and thereby incurred the displeasure
of the commanding officer by just missing tattoo. However,
I explained to him that the eight men in the centre of the
boat did not pull their own weight ; therefore stroke and bow
had to do all their work. There were some real good men
among them too, namely, Sergeant Goodey, who rowed number
nine, and Corporal Murtland, eight, and they amused me
considerably, as well as provided me with instruction, by
capping each other with quotations from Shakespeare — an
author, I am ashamed to say, I know very little about, and I
certainly never gave them credit for knowing more of Eng-
land's greatest poet than I did ; nevertheless it was so, I fear.
Of the other men in the boat I fail to remember their names,
but both Goodey and Murtland died of cholera in the Crimea.
I have never heard soldiers of any grade quote Shakespeare
since ; although the present system of competitive examinations
would lead me to suppose that without vast culture of the
brain no man can turn out a good soldier.

On the evening of the 19th of March, 1853, when I was
still doing duty at Windsor, a fire broke out in the Prince of
Wales' Tower at the Castle, which I believe was caused by
some defect in the heating apparatus, and was very near being
serious. We had just finished mess, and I was orderly officer
that day, when one of the Castle guard came running down to
say that we were required to help subdue the conflagration.
The alarm was at once sounded, and the battalion turned out
wonderfully quickly, and were marched up in their shell-
jackets in about fifteen minutes. The fii^e had got a good hold

FIRE AT WINDSOR CASTLE. 89

on the tower, which is on the terrace. There was a plentiful
supply of water, and I took charge of one of the hose. I had
some very pretty shots from one of the passages into the
dining-room below, which was well alight, and while I w^as
thus engaged it was reported that the floor where I was
standing was not safe ; hut as I w^as in the doorway I thought
I was all right and stayed where I was, although I heard a
voice behind me telling me to come away, as my position was
most dangerous. I replied that I was having capital sport
where I was, and that my friend need not be alarmed about
me. I was proud to discover later that it was the Prince
Consort who had been so anxious to induce me to leave the
spot.

After avalanches of water, we finally got the fire under, but
we were all wet through and through as a matter of course.
When I descended the spiral staircase of the tower to the
ground floor, I found that the lower chamber was used as a
store-room, with stone shelves all round it and a pillar in the
centre, also encircled with shelves, upon which reposed dozens
of pots of jam and a number of bottles of liqueur. The water
having run down the steps had flooded the floor as high as the
first shelf, and upon this our men were sitting and floating
pots of jam and other luxuries across to each other in their
forage caps, and sad havoc they made among the preserves
and the various liqueurs. I remained on duty on the terrace
till between three and four o'clock in the morning, and I had
plenty to do to get the last batch of men back to barracks,
for the good old ale had been served out to them with no
sparing hand.

That day Avhen I w^ent round the messes as picket ofiicer,
quite half of the men could not face their food on any terms,
and were lying upon their beds with complexions varying
from light green to pale yellow, the result of a mixture of
strawberry jam, noyau, and old ale, and I do not believe that
they could have been induced to try the two first again under
any consideration whatever. Barring the fact that I spoilt a
brand-new coat, I was none the worse ; though I nearly had a
nasty cropper off a ladder, but saved myself from falling just
in time. I was given considerable kv^oq at the time for my
exertions upon this eventful evening.

Before I left Windsor I had a sickener of both training and
backing bipeds. I had taken a lot of trouble with a man
named Conway, a first-class runner at a mile. He was at a
very low ebb when I took him in hand, and I fed and clothed

90 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

him for between two and three months. He had done two
very useful mile trials, at four minutes twenty-two seconds by
the watch, so I matched him against another speedy man ; but
on the day of the race, though apparently perfectly well in the
morning, he was disgracefully beaten in the afternoon, and the
victor had no sort of right to win, for his time was only four
minutes forty seconds. How my man was got at I never
found out ; but he was a most ungrateful toad, and I never
heard of him again.

My battalion formed part of the camp at Chobham this same
summer, but as I had contrived to get a touch of lumbago, I
was left behind at Windsor in charge of a few decrepit old
soldiers and the women and children. Truly a noble command !
But I soon got all right again, and rejoined the battalion on
their return to London, when they went to Wellington
Barracks once more.

I again took up my quarters over the dairy in Jermyn
Street, and took in as a lodger young Erskine of Cardross,
who was thenceforward known as ' my lodger.' Great luck
for him, as both by precept and example I was — under Provi-
dence— the means of fitting him for the distinguished career
which has culminated in his not only being an acquisition at
Court, but also the representative of physical force in the
House of Commons ; for is he not Serjeant-at-Arms, and a
worthy successor to dear old Gossett, the essence of honhomie ?
My other ijvot&je in the regiment has also turned out extra-
ordinarily well ; for when the present military secretary, Sir
Reginald Gipps, joined a year after I did, I received a letter
from one of his relatives asking me ' to take care of dear little
Reggie,' and he and I have been fast friends ever since ; though
I must own that he has taken as much care of me as I of him.
During this autumn I made a match, or, I should say, two
matches, with Fred Sayer of the 23rd Eoyal Welsh Fusiliers.
We were to run 150 yards on the flat on the Salt Hill Boad,
and the next day but one, 150 yards over ten hurdles in the
Home Park at Windsor. He went down to train at Slough
under the care of a noted old ten-mile runner yclept the ' North
Star ' ; whilst, as I was doing duty in London, I used to take
my gallops round St. James's Park, of coiu^se running the
distance two or three times a week with the ' Flying Tailor '
(the same party of whom I told the story of his adventure as
a Norwich drover). There was a good deal of interest shown
over these races, and one day I heard a rumour that my op-
ponent had strained his knee. I am afraid that a feeling of

MATCHES WITH FRED SAYER. 91

joy ratlier than of commiseration pervaded my system ; but I
got into the train and went down to Slough to see for myself
whether there w^as any truth in the report. I duly arrived at
my destination, and as I mounted the stairs of the public
where Fred Sayer was located — and which was kept by a
curious old fellow called Bragg, noted for the number of prizes
he had taken for dahlias of his own growing, and also for his
luck in breeding a useful greyhound or two — the well-known
and pungent aroma of hartshorn and oil pleasantly assailed
my olfactory organs, and no more delicious scent ever greeted
the nose of the keenest old foxhound when, after a long and
unprofitable draw, he at length winds bold reynard. Well, I
opened the door, and on the bed before me lay one of the most
perfect models of a well-made man that I ever saw stripped.
' Fred, my boy/ I said, ' you have not broken down, have
you 1 ' upon which he answered, ' No ! I ain't quite settled, but
I have got a rare dicky knee, old chap ; for I strained it
jumping a gate on the roadside the day before yesterday ;
however, I sha'n't pay forfeit yet.' You may be sure I took
a very careful survey of his injured limb, and as it was only
four or five days before the race, I — like a real flat — inwardly
decided that the abstemious habits of high training were no
longer necessary for Astley, not that I believe my taking a
glass or two of ' pop ' when I got back to town made any very
great difference.

A crowd of peojDle went down to Salt Hill on the day, and
though my opponent's knee looked very red, it did not inter-
fere with his action. I am bound to say that, after a good
start, he always had the best of it, and the Ptoyal Welsh took
a lot of ' ready ' out of the Scots Fusiliers that day. On the
second day after this match, v^e met in the Home Park for
our second trial, and as Fred Sayer had proved himself the
speediest, and was known to be a beautiful jumper, his friends
laid as much as 3 to 1 on him for the hur-dle-race. Now in
foot-racing a man must use his head as well as his legs, much
the same way as a finished jockey does on a horse, and the
task before me did not appear to be any great ' catch ' —
assuming, as I did, that he went faster and jiunped better
than I could ; so, after considerable cogitation, I came to the
conclusion that Sayer would wait on me, and then come and
beat me for speed ; therefore I made up my mind to practise
a little artifice, and this was it. I settled that I would make
running at a false pace, but as soon as ever I got over the
seventh hurdle I would go like blazes for the eighth, in the

92 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

hopes that Fred, not being prepared for such a sudden dash of
speed on my part, would, in his hurry to overtake me, get put
out of his stride and so not take olf with quite his usual
precision for the eighth hurdle ; and oh ! be joyful, my little
ruse came olf right, for he, being bustled, took off wildly,
overjumped himself and all but came down, losing so much
ground that he could never recover it, and I won comfortably.
We all got back with interest the money that we had lost on
the flat, and I think this was my last match before I started
for the Crimea. 1

Just previous to Christmas we had a lot of hard weather,
and with it some iii-st-rate ice, which gave me ample oppor-
tunity of playing my favourite game of hockey on the ice.
Our other battalion was then quartered at Windsor, and it
reached my ears that a match was to be played on the pond
on the slopes below the terrace of Windsor Castle, and,
though I really had no business there, I felt very keen to
show my powers before Royalty (the Royal family being at
the Castle) ; so I smuggled myself down to the pond, and, as
I was known to be useful at the game, Dudley de Ros of the
1st Life-Guards and I tossed up for sides. The pond — as I
recollect it — was an oval one with an island in the centre, on
which the band of our regiment was stationed. At one end
of the pond her Gracious Majesty was seated, surrounded by
several of the ladies of the court, watching the game with
evident interest. The Prince Consort — who was a beautiful
and graceful figure-skater — kej)t goal for the opposite side,
and Lord Listowel (father of the present Earl) kept ours. I
don't think that I ever enjoyed a game more, and it was that
day I tirst had the honour of making the acquaintance of the
Prince of Wales. The game waxed fast and furious, and I am
afraid that I w^as sufficiently wanting in respect to interfere
once, at least, with the Prince Consort's equilibrium in my
eagerness to get a goal.

The edges of the pond sloped uj) to where her Majesty was
sitting, and in a desperate rally with De Ros I lost my balance
and came down in a sitting posture, the impetus I had on
carrying me right up to the Queen's feet, and the hearty
laughter which greeted my unbidden arrival is still vividly
impressed upon my mind.

It was altogether a glorious afternoon's sport, but as the
ice was beginning to thaw, and the surface to a certain extent

^ Appended at the end of chapter are the several races run by Su* John
previous to embarkation for the Crimea, February 1854. — Editoe.

MY RECORD OF FOOT-RACES.

93

covered with water, I was wet to the skin, and only escaped a
rheumatic attack by imbibing plenty of delicioiisly mulled
port wine, which was served in a conservatory under the
terrace. To this decoction I suppose I must attribute my
audacity in venturing to go down to the Foot-Guards barracks,
where I received a jobation from the CO. for having the
effrontery to take part in a game to which I was not asked ;
but as I had played well I was not cashiered on this occasion.
The following record shows the foot-races in which I took
part prior to the Crimea, and the result of the various
contests : —

Name.

1. H. Blundell

2. Pack, 1st

Life-Guards

3. W. Beach

4. W. Beach

5. r. Bathui-st

6. E. C. Burton

7. King and ]\Iace
8.. ' Bristol Mouse
9. Rowland Hill

10. F. Sayer .

11. F. Sayer .

12. Ao-ainst Time

13. D. Baillie

14. Buckley .

15. Gorhani .

16. Roger Mostyn

17. F. Eden .

Distance.
100 yards over 10 hurdles

150 yards on flat

150 yards on flat
150 yards on flat
150 yards on flat
110 yards on flat
100 yards on flat
100 yards on flat
100 yards on flat
150 yards on flat

150 yards over 10 hurdles

Walk a mile, run 100

yards in ten minutes

( Run 100 yards giving 5

j yards start, and walk 20

( miles under 4 hours

100 yards on flat
( 100 yards over 10 hurdles\
I giving 5 yards start j
( 100 yards over 10 hurdles)
\ 4 ft. high /

150 yards over 10 hurdles

Place.
Oxford

Windsor

1 Old Cope
Old Cope
Old Cope
Old Cope
E. Peel's
Tredegar
Bryn-y-Pys
Salt Hill
Home Park, )
Windsor )

Windsor

Arlington
Corner

Chichester

Chichester .

Chichester

Home Park, i
Windsor )

Result.

w.
w.

D.H.
W.
W.
L.

^v.
w.

L.

w.

w.

w.
w.

L.

By this table I ran seventeen times with a record of thirteen
wins, three defeats, and one dead heat, and this brings me up
to the time I left for the Crimea.

^ 'Old Cope'— the name by which the Old Copenhagen Grounds were
known — near London.

94

CHAPTER X.

Home on Leave, January 1854 — Paiinonrs of Foreign Service— Littlecote
and Wild Dayrell — Orders for the East— Embarkation of the Brigade
of Guards — Embark in Simoom at Portsmouth, 28th of February— My
Cabin — Personal Discomfort Therein — The Voyage Out— My Miseries
— Engines Break Down— Gibraltar — Malta at Last— In Lazaretto
Barracks — Penny at the Malta Club — Embark in Kangaroo — ' From
Frying-pan to Fire ' — Perils of the Deep — Gallipoli — Scutari — Our
Camp — Berkeley and Coke Join — Death of Macneish — Shooting Trips
—Duke of Cambridge Joins Army — Review by Lord Paglan — Sports
and Games — Review by the Sultan — Beat Hickey — Yarna.

On the New Year I took my leave and went home to Ever-
leigh, and I think that it was during a visit which I paid to
Frank Popham at Littlecote, near Hungerford (in Berkshire),
for shooting, that I received the first intimation that my
battalion would be shortly sent out for service in the East,
and I well recollect the thrill of satisfaction I felt at the
prospect of seeing foreign service. One morning at Littlecote,
as we were leaving the house for the day's shooting and walk-
ing across the park, our host, who bred a few horses, pointed
out with great pride a very fine dark brown colt, then a two-
year-old. This was none other than the afterwards famous
Derby winner Wild Dayrell (he won in 1855) by Ion, his dam
being Ellen Middleton. His trainer, Rickaby, was Popham's
hunting-groom, and that morning rode a hack in rear of his
charge. Another groom was on an old hunter in front of the
big two-year-old, who had a small boy on his back, with a
man walking by his side leading him in a cavesson, which
Mr. Popham told him to take off, as he was anxious for us to
see the young one's action. The old hunter jumped off to
lead him ; but the two-year-old, being very fresh, gave a buck
and a kick and sent the boy flying, and, though we had a first-
class opportunity of judging of his action, poor Popham, who
was of a very excitable temperament, experienced a Tnauvais
quart dlieure : for it was some little time before the colt could

ORDERS FOR THE EAST. 95

be caught. However, he seemed none the worse, and for a
big baby of a horse he moved wonderfully well. I took 200
to 5 about him for the Derby early in February of this year,
and as he started at even money it was a pretty bet. The
present Robert Sherwood, who now trains at Newmarket
and who had hardly ever had a mount before in a big race,
rode and won with something to spare — at least so I read in
the newspapers, for I was in the Crimea when the race
was run.

On returning to Everleigh I got the straight tip that we
were pretty certain to start for the East before February
came to an end, and I think it was about the 14th, St.
Valentine's day, that we got the definite orders to embark
within a fortnight ; so I went to town and got my kit ready,
and though wishing good-bye to all my people rather took the
gilt olf the gingerbread, yet I was wonderfully pleased when
the order came that my battalion was to embark on the 28th
of February.

Hitherto I have trusted almost entirely to memory for all
that I have recorded in these pages ; but now as I write I
have the advantage of some notes in an account-book kept by
my best of pals, the late General Goodlake, Y.C., and also a
diary, or rather copy of the Brigade orders, beautifully, and
no doubt accurately, executed by our Orderly Room Sergeant,
Feist, left at his death to his widow, from whom it w^as
purchased by my friend. Sir Reginald Gipps, who has kindly
lent it to me for reference. Feist had also copied the medical
history, compiled by Surgeon-Major Bostock for the Army
Medical Department ] so that my dates are now sure to be
accurate, though I cannot absolutely vouch for their being
so through all my reminiscences. All the same, I have
endeavoured to keep them so as far as possible ; but lapse of
time, and paucity of notes touching on the first fifteen or
sixteen years has rendered my task somewhat more difficult.

The Coldstream Guards embarked on the 22nd of February,
1854, in the Ripon transport. We paraded at an early hour
on the 28th of February at Wellington Barracks, and, I
believe, marched down the Strand to Waterloo Station, and
the enormous crowds that lined the streets were most enthusi-
astic and demonstrative as we swaggered along, our band
playing the well-known airs so dear to the British soldier, of
which I think ' The Girl I Left Behind Me ' and ' Auld Lang
Syne' are the greatest favourites. There were very many
touching episodes and heart-rending grief as we drew near the

96 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

station-gates, where only the soldiers were admitted, and at
one time it seemed almost impossible to shake off some of the
poor women who broke into the ranks and would cling to
their loved ones. Liquor, of course, flowed very freely, and
there was hardly a man who had not several flasks stuffed
into his uniform, let alone his bearskin cap ; however, we
were soon entrained and whisked off to Portsmouth, where we
at once embarked on board a horrible, half-rotten old steam-
transport, called the Simoom. The battalion consisted of nine
hundred and thirty-five sergeants and rank and file, and
twenty-nine ofiicers. A real fine body of men they were too,
averaging near upon twenty-eight years of age and five feet
ten inches in height, and, if we could only have gone straight
on to the Crimea, we should indeed have made the old
' Euskies ' sit up.

I was stowed away in a horribly dark, stuffy cabin, in
which were two berths, and this luxurious apartment was
shared by my pal Gipps ; but we had not been out long before
I would have gladly changed ' Cabin J ' for the Black Hole
of Calcutta or any other coloured hole. The old Simoom was
supposed to be a sailing-ship, but had auxiliary steam-power,
and, as our cabin was right amidshi^^s, we had the full benefit
of the savoury odours arising from the engine-room. Tnis
last privilege at once settled me, and I verily believe that I
was absolutely the first man to feed the fishes. I kept that
performance up well, for I was real sea-sick both day and
night, and my sufferings can more easily be imagined than
described. As soon as it was fairly light I used to stagger
up on deck, while the sailors were washing decks, and most of
us were in the habit of snatching that opportunity of taking
a bath, by getting the hose turned on to us, thereby receiving
a good sousing with salt-water — a regular douche, in fact —
for such a thing as a tub was an unknown quantity aboard
that beastly old transport. Our ablutions being over, and
well clothed, I used to sit in a coil of rope the livelong day,
with a basin by my side, keeping body and soul together by
an occasional nibble at a bit of dry biscuit and cheese.

But oh ! the fearful moments that I endured when I was
ofiicer of the watch, and had to go my rounds between decks,
after the men had turned into their hammocks ! — one of the
drummers, armed with a lantern and a tallow dip therein,
taking the lead. The heat and general aroma were simply
appalling, to say nothing of the fact that in hurrying along
to escape from this fearful atmosphere it was by no means

GIBRALTAR— MALTA AT LAST. 97

unusual to come in contact with a naked foot or leg, suspended
gracefully from his hammock by some slumbering warrior.

More than once our engines broke down, and we had to
trust entirely to the vessel's extremely moderate capabilities
under canvas — and she was no flier, I can assure you. During
half a gale of wind, in the Bay of Biscay, our main shaft
broke ; consequently the propeller had to be disconnected, and
all hands told off to haul it up out of the water ; and from
that time till our arrival at Gibraltar we had to make what
progress we could by means of our sails, though, as I have
already remarked, this species of locomotion was singularly
ill-adapted to our old tub. One morning, after I had passed
an extra bad night, I asked a friendly old ' salt ' how many
knots we had made by daybreak ; and, to my horror, he said :
' I don't think as we've lost much ; but. Lord love yer ! we
ain't made nothing ' — cheering news indeed for a poor, sea-
sick land-lubber to hear ! It was not only being so ill that
made one wild, but it was terribly galling to watch some of
my brother officers, most of whom I could far surpass in
activity on shore, briskly walking up and down the deck,
whilst I languished in my coil of rope, firmly grasping the
friendly basin.

However, ' all things have an end ' we are told, and it is
fortunate that it is so, as at last, on the 12th of March, we
arrived at Gibraltar ; but no sooner had we let go our anchor
than the quarantine flag was run up, and all our hopes of a
run ashore at an end. We got lots of oranges and some
decent cigars, and I am glad to say that our engines were set
to rights and the shaft repaired, I have described Gibraltar
previously, and perhaps it is lucky that I did so : for on this
occasion I had only what the lodging-house keepers advertise
on the bills in their windows, ' a commanding sea- view.'

We arrived at Malta on the 1 8th of March, and the following
day we landed and marched to the Lazaretto Barracks on the
Quarantine Island in Yaletta harbour, where we found the
Grenadiers and Coldstreams, who had arrived some fortnight
or so before us. Though these barracks were not very
luxurious quarters, yet they were heavenly compared to the
discomfort and pestilential odours of ' Cabin J ' in the Simoom.

Francis Baring and I had a room together, and at first did
our own cooking, and I found I was very handy at making
an omelette ; but we soon discovered our way to the Club in
the town, which was very comfortable. I bought a pony and
cart and drove about all over the island. We played some

98 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

capital games at cricket on the Florian Parade. Some of our
best matches were between the old and new garrison ; our
battalion against the 68th Regiment, who had a very good
cricketer in Torrens ; also the Guards against ' The World.'
Fred Bathurst and Jerry Goodlake were about our best per-
formers, and, the ground being about twice as hard as the
Horse-Guards Parade, you received due value for a good swipe.
There were a capital lot in the 68th, and they had a very
good mess. We used to have some rather cheery suppers at
the Club, where, prince amongst songsters ranked Penny of
the Artillery, and he really could do the nightingale trick to
perfection, after about three parts of a bottle of gin, which
was his favourite beverage at that time.

Dear old Jerry Dixon (who was one of three brothers nick-
named Pamrod, Fishing-Pod, and Nimrod) commanded our
battalion at Malta, and had brought out from England with
him a real steady old charger. Now, whether it was the
result of Maltese beans, or oranges, I don't know ; but, one
morning when we were all on parade and the old boy —
aj3parently well home in his saddle — had commenced the
order ' Present arms,' and got as far as the ' present ' part,
hearing the men's firelocks go up with a rattle, the old horse
stood straight up on his hind legs, and before the gallant old
fellow could get out ' arms ' he slipped off his perch and
over the horse's tail to mother earth, where he lay writhing
on the gravel, which set the whole battalion roaring with
laughter, and I must admit that it was too comical a spectacle
to witness unmoved.

Scarcely a day passed but what some new shave was started
as to wdien and where we were to go, and several transport-
ships arrived, either with fresh troojjs, or put in to coal on their
way to their final destination. On April 2lRt we embarked on
board the Kangaroo, and that reminds me how very nearly I
missed getting on board before the vessel sailed, through the
harbour-gates not being opened till 6 a.m. I had been assist-
ing at a jollification at the Club, which had the effect of
making me a trifle early that morning (in one sense of the
word), and while I was waiting for the gates to be opened, I
recollect being mightily amused at some of the sailors, who
came rolling up quite three sheets in the wind (in nautical
parlance), and none of them with less than two bottles of the
' best ' stowed away in their blue frocks or jumpers.

The Kangaroo well kept up the credit of her name for
activity, as she was a very narrow vessel, with even worse

PERILS OF THE DEEP. 99

accommodation for the men than our last ship, and rolled, if
anything, even worse ; consequently I presented, if such a
thing was possible, a still more pitiable spectacle of sea-sick
humanity than in the old Simoom.

When we arrived in the Archipelago, which is by no manner
of means a pleasant sea to navigate a vessel through, we very
nearly came to grief and had a narrow escape of being ship-
wrecked. One morning, just at daybreak, there was a thick
fog, and our captain, having lost his reckoning, was a trifle
doubtful of our whereabouts. Just then the look-out on the
port-bow sang out ' Rock ahead ! ^ I was nearly dressed, and,
hearing the engines reversed, I ran up on deck, and, sure
enough, there v/as a huge steep rock just ahead of us. Luckily
it was deep water all round, and so we slewed off and never
touched it, though one could have easily chucked a biscuit on
to it. We made the Dardanelles all right, and came to an
anchor off Gallipoli for a few hours. Several of us landed, got
ponies, and rode up to the Rifles' camp, about five miles
inland, where I had a glass for luck with Tottenham and two
or three other old pals ; but when we got back to the spot
where we had left our ponies the rufiian in charge of them had
made off ; so two or three of us had to make the best of our
way to the boat on foot, and, as it was a sweltering hot day,
you may take my word for it that there were not any great
number of icicles hanging about us by the time we re-
embarked.

On the evening of the 27th of April we anchored off Scutari,
and the anchor was hardly down before I heard a strident
voice, which I at once recognized as proceeding from an old
friend who was at Oxford with me, named ' Sidebottom ' — ■
called, for short, ' Sidey.' He was in a caique, and was
eager that I should come on shore with him ; so Gipps and I
got leave, and we enjoyed a right pleasant evening in his house
at Pera. He did us real well, and we were aboard again in the
morning. During the day the battalion disembarked, tents
were served out to us, and we encamped on an open space of
ground near the great Turkish Military Hospital.

Colonel Berkeley and the Hon. W. Coke, who had been
travelling in Abyssinia, joined us on our arrival here in camp,
and a superb camp it was. On one side was the Bosphorus
and the Golden Horn, Pera and Stamboul beyond, with
innumerable mosques and minarets all glistening in the sun-
shine, and in the far distance, well inland, a long range of
mountains, crowned with snow-clad Olympus standing out white

loo FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

and distinct among his fellows. Close to our camp was a large
cemetery, with numberless tombstones and tall, straight cyprus-
trees. The tombstones all seemed to be at different angles,
and to lean in opposite directions — so much so that one of our
men described them as looking like a ' chiney shop as had
been upset by a bull.' The climate was extremely changeable.
One day it would be too hot in shirt-sleeves, and the next you
wanted a couple of great-coats on. Thunder-storms w^ere also
very prevalent.

There was a small brook that ran below our camp, and one
of these thunderstorms would suddenly transform this small
stream into a roaring torrent. One day, Macneish, an Ensign
of the 93rd (Highlanders), in trying to cross it, was washed
olf his legs and drowned, though he was as strongly built
a young fellow as you need wish to see, for I happened to
have sat opposite him a few days before on a General Court-
martial.

At this time I got leave to go up the Bosphorus on a shoot-
ing expedition, and started with six companions — viz., Gipps,
Coke, Buckley, JoUiffe, N. Sturt, and Ennismore^ — in three
caiques, with provisions, guns, revolvers, and ammunition. We
landed at Therapia and hired three horses to carry our traps,
walking inland to a small village close to the forest of Belgrade,
where we bivouacked for the night, making a good blazing fire
and cooking our food, after eating which w^e rolled ourselves
up in our waterproofs and slept soundly. The next morning
we procured some beaters, and penetrated into a splendid
forest composed principally of beech-trees. We seven guns
posted ourselves in the different likely spots, and were prepared
to slaughter any number of wild boar, jackal, or deer ; but the
only two animals that we saw the whole live-long day were
two roe-deer, and I was in real luck, for they both came
straight to me. I bowled the buck over with my right barrel,
and the other (the doe) with my second, using shot for my first
and a bullet for my second venture, which was not bad work
for a smooth-bore. Not another shot did we any of us get, so
we returned to our bivouac of the previous night and set to
work to flay and cook the doe, which having succeeded in
doing, we had our dinner and retired to rest under the forest
trees. Next day we returned to camp, having enjoyed our trip
immensely. The forest was quite lovely, and with a beautiful
undergrowth of various kinds of heath, wild lavender, and
narcissus.

^ Afterwards (present) Lord Listowel.

A 'MURDER PARTY.' lol

On our return we found the Duke of Cambridge had arrived
on May 11th, and on the 24th (the Queen's birthday) Lord
Raglan reviewed the whole of the troops in camp, after which
we had some athletic sports and games. I beat the ' Army '
at 120 yards, a quarter of a mile, and 200 yards over hurdles.
In the evening two bands played and the men danced to their
hearts' content round an obelisk, which we had built of wood,
some forty feet high, with a crown on the top and various
devices of the letter V in evergreens. At night it was lighted
up. Just before tattoo sounded I climbed a short distance up
the obelisk and proposed three cheers for ' Her Majesty,'
and then three more for the Duke of Cambridge, express-
ing a hope that he would lead us on like ' Old Boots,'
though I must confess I never was led by ' Old Boots,' or
' New Boots,' for that matter ; still, my speech met with
approval : for, on descending from my perch I was caught up
shoulder high by the men, amidst hearty cheers, and carried
round the obelisk. It is a pity if I did not sleep soundly on
that memorable night.

A man in the 33rd (Duke of Wellington's regiment) who
had formerly been a professional runner, named Hickey,
challenged the ' Army ' at this time, and I took him on ; but
the party firing the pistol to start us did so when Hickey was
some distance over the scratch, and I did not start. How-
ever, I challenged him to run again that day week, and upon
this occasion I beat him very easily.

We frequently went ovit shooting, as there were a fair lot
of quail and a few hares. The dogs beloved by the grand
old Turk were a horrible nuisance, for they slept in the
cemetery pretty well all the day, and at night they started
off scavenging round our camp, and often enough engaged
in furious combats over bones and other delicacies just outside
our tents, thereby much disturbing our night's repose ; so we
organized a ' murder party,' and with the assistance of the
men of several other regiments we slaughtered over eighty
great, hairy, useless beasts. You may depend that the old
Turks made a fearful row about it ; for they considered that
their dog scavengers were sacred, and an order was issued to
the effect that we were to leave the canine species alone for
the future.

Having procured the necessary ' firman ' we made a party
and went over the principal mosques and sights of Stamboul,
and they were well worth a visit. As far as I could judge
from the women's eyes, they were many of them lovely; but

102 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

their horrible yashmaks hid all other features, while their
loose draperies rendered their figures all precisely similar.
There were some Greeks who used to visit our camp, and a
bigger lot of thieves I have seldom met. One day I was
piccjuet officer and caught one of these wretches in the very
act of stealing ; so I had his hands bound behind his back,
and fell in a file of men with fixed bayonets, and marched
him off to a tree not far distant from our camp, and there
made him fast. I told the men to go through the motions
of loading when I gave the order, and to kneel down and
take aim at the brute. He yelled for mercy like a madman,
but I think I succeeded in frightening him pretty well, before
I cut him loose and kicked him out of the district — hurting
my toe in the operation. Nothing could have answered better
than this plan of mine 3 for we were never afterwards troubled
with thieves.

"We played some good cricket at Scutari, beating the crack
regiment (the 49th I fancy) somewhat easily. Now for a
little anecdote of my method of batting. In one match
against the Eifles I slogged away at every blessed ball, and
in one over (six balls) I got no less than twenty-six runs,
and I am not sure it was not twenty-eight. The bowler —
who fancied himself a bit above the ordinary — thi-ew down
the ball and vowed that it ' was not cricket, as four of the
said balls had been dead on my middle stump.' So I said :
'Never! Why, those are just the sort I like best, because
I can hit 'em to " square leg." ' It took a lot of coaxing to
get the gentleman to bowl again.

I only set eyes ujjon the Sultan on one occasion, and that
was when he reviewed the whole English force on the 30th of
May, 1854, and a poor, pale, enervated-looking toad he was,
to my mind ; but I could have done with his Arab charger,
it was a real beauty.

I have discovered a curious note in our (then) Orderly
Boom Sergeant's diary w^hich states: 'May 27th. The 1st
Division exchanged their smooth-bore muskets for Minie rifles.
On leaving England the battalion took out new arms with
them, which were placed in store at Scutari on the supposition
that they were for the use of the battalion ; however, those
issued turned out to be old arms bearing the marks of no less
than fifty-one different regiments. A report on this subject
was made to General Bentinck without any result.' This was
a nasty jar for the War Office !

After several parades of the baggage-animals, all loaded as

WE REACH VARNA. 103

for the inarch, we finally got our orders (which were sealed),
and embarked on board our old friend the Simoom. I had
devoutly hoped that I should never see the nasty old tub
again ; but it was ordained otherwise, as we embarked in her
on the 13th of June, reaching Yarna — where we disembarked
again — on the following day, the 14th.

I04

CHAPTEE XI.

Camp at Varna— Unliealtliy State of Same— Move to Aladyn— Visit Camp
of Light Division — Dr. Bostock's Diary — Embark on Kangaroo —
Cholera and Dysentery— Narrow Escape of being Run Down by
Hydasjyes — Landing of Troops in Kalamita Bay, 14th September—
Our First Night on Shore — Hepburn and Ennismore — A Foraging
Party— The 5th Company's Breakfast-table — Billy Ftidley Scents Mush-
rooms— Picquet Duty — Attempt to Persuade a Stray Bullock to Visit
our Camp— Muttondrunting- Heartrending Episode connected there-
with—The French General and his Game— We obtain some Poultry —
Orders to March— First Brush with Enemy, Se^jtember 19th— Battle
of Alma, September 20th.

The whole of the 1st Division encamped about two miles
inland of Yarna (a wretched town), on a large plain mostly
covered with scrub, and by the side of a good-sized lake, from
which a small stream flowed into the bay. We used to bathe
in this lake of an evening, and after some trouble persuaded
our ponies to accompany us into the water, and they soon
appeared to enjoy their dip as much as we did.

The health of the men soon began to fail in this camp, and
diarrhoea, dysentery, and cholera became prevalent, owing to
the low nature of the ground and the pestilential miasma
which arose from the lake and the marshy swamp around it.
The general idea was that we were to make our way up to
Sili stria, where it was rumoured that ninety thousand
Russians were entrenched, and only kept in check by the
Turkish army under Omar Pasha ; but whoever started this
shave must have been an idiot, as, in the first place, the
roads, or rather sandy tracks, were utterly unfit for the
transport of stores, and, secondly, the country in question
was a most unhealthy one. We spent a miserable time at
this camp, and on July 1st we moved inland to Aladyn, on
the Devna road. Here we remained till the 27th, when we
again moved, this time to higher ground near Grevecklic ;
but disease still followed in our track and we lost several
men, and the hospital tents became crowded with the sick,

DR. BOSTOCK'S DIARY. 105

and many a poor fellow full of vigour and burning with
enthusiasm at the chance of a brush with the Russians, fell a
victim to that terrible scourge, cholera, and never lived to
see a shot fired.

I sometimes took my gun in the early morning, or else
after sundown, for it was too hot in the middle of the day
for work of any kind, and now and then got a little sport.
We used to make arbours of the underwood, and they were
far more airy than our tents. I frequently rode over to the
camp of the Light Division, which was at Devna, about six
miles from us, and the only cheery times we had were after a
late supper, when we had a few songs which put a bit of life
into us, Tim Riley of the 88th Regiment was a real cheery
chap ; he and some of his brother officers used to come and
dine with us now and again, and we would go out after wild
boar, watching for them in the marsh about two miles from
camp ; but we never had any luck and were half devoured
by mosquitoes. During this time, Jerry Goodlake and I went
on several minor expeditions, shooting and foraging with
varied success, but not worth detailing.

The following extract from Dr. Rostock's medical diary
speaks for itself : ' In August the Rritish army began to con-
centrate round Yarna, and the brigade of Guards commenced
its march from Grevecklic on the 16th. Eighty sick were
carried in native arabas, the worst cases were left in charge of
an assistant-surgeon who had joined at Yarna. The strength
of the men was so much reduced that the distance to the new
encamping ground on the Adrianople road, situated on the
heights above the south side of Yarna Ray, about eighteen
miles distant, was divided into three days, and the packs were
carried by the Commissariat in order that the men might
march as light as possible.'

The doctor's statement is only too true, and it is difficult to
believe that these were the same men that had embarked at
Scutari some two months since, and at that time not a man of
the battalion would have thought twice about carrying two
packs. Refore I give an account of our trip by sea in the
Kangaroo to the Crimea, I must once more quote from Dr.
Rostock's journal : — •

' On the 28th of August the battalion embarked on board
the Kangaroo, leaving the sick in camp under the charge of an
assistant-surgeon, who subsequently joined us in the Crimea.
Sixteen days were spent on board the Kangaroo, which was
far too small a vessel to contain a battalion for so long a period

lo6 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

during the hottest month of the year. The accommodation for
the sick was totally inadequate, and their suiferings were
much aggravated in consequence. During the passage to the
Crimea sixteen cases of cholera occurred, of which eight
were fatal. Choleraic diarrhoea was also prevalent. After the
landing, which was effected on the 14th of September, no fresh
cases of illness took place, and the general condition of the
men rapidly improved.'

I cannot do better than quote from certain portions of my
letters written home at this time when on board the Kangaroo?-
' We started at last at 6 a.m. this morning, and a wonderful
sight it was, to see each steamer tow her two transports round
a sort of pivot out of the harbour, and get clear out to sea — no
easy matter, as so much room is taken by the ships in swinging
round. I hardly saw a single collision, though one or two
hawsers broke, but were soon made snug again. The line-of-
battle ships waited till we were all out of the bay, and they
covered our flanks in case the Russians should dare to molest
us ; and if only the elements keep propitious, as they do now,
we shall be at our landing-place in about four days, they say.
It would be a different matter should it blow, as the tow-ships
would be a great drag on us. We go along very steadily as I
write, and I don't feel a bit sick, which is a great pull, as I
should like to land with all my energies at concert pitch. I
fancy the " Ruskies '' are in an awful stew, and if their glasses
are good enough to see the little lot that is coming to pay
them a visit, it will by no means make them any easier. On
the evening of the 9th (of September) we anchored in about
twenty-five fathoms of water, and lay at our anchors all next
day ; and a quiet day we had, it being Sunday ; and had service
morning and evening on board. In the afternoon I made one
of a crew, and we rowed General Bentinck round the flotilla ;
and we went on board several ships, and I saw a great many
mates, mostly doing well, though in one or two of the regiments
cholera is still rather bad. An officer in the 23rd, named
Sutton, is dying, I fear.

' On the morning of the 11th we got orders to weigh anchor,
and now (8 p.m.) we are going along easy, all close up, and are
off the coast of Eupatoria and Sebastopol, they say. Lord
Raglan and Sir J. Burgoyne coasted along here yesterday close
in shore, and decided on our landing-place. I have been
getting my kit in order to-day, and mean to carry my three days'

^ All these letters written by Sir John are CLUoted word for word from
the originals. — Editok.

NARROW ESCAPE OF BEING RUN DOWN. 107

salt pork and biscuit, some brandy, my cloak, two revolvers,
and several useful things on my belt round my waist, the two
greatest treasures being an axe and a frying-j^an ; and having
smuggled a Greek servant on board, he will carry my knapsack
with a change of clothes in it, my blanket, and waterproof. I
have also put some writing-materials in my haversack.' Then,
again, on September 12th I added to this letter as follows :
'Sept. 12th. I must add another half-sheet to tell you of the
narrow escape we had last night. At 9.30 p.m. I was sitting
at the table in the cabin, making some neat little packets of
mustard, salt, and pepper, when there came on an awfully
sudden squall, and the effect was magical and terrific. Nearly
all the steamers ran straight before the wind. We did not do
so quite soon enough, and just ahead of us we descried, during
the momentary flashes of lightning, a steamer (the Hydas'j)es),
with her two transports, coming right across our bows, and as
our two tows were driving wildly on in our rear, we could not
stop to let her pass ; so w^e had to cut our two hawsers to free
ourselves from oui* dangerous tows. Just as we had done
this — which enabled us to back our engines — the Hydas2}es
cleared our bows, but one of her transports swung across our
bows and tore the whole of our bowsprit, jibboom, and figure-
head bang off, and our ship gave one great lurch over on her
side.

* Some of the men sang out, "It is all over, we are going
down." I shouted out, '' It is all right ; don't make such a row."
I hardly believed my ovfn words though, for it looked terribly
bad for us. There were lights of other ships in all directions,
scudding before the wind, and rendered almost unmanageable
by being hampered with their transports behind them, and
ships ahead and astern, A bitterly cold wind was whistling
through the rigging, when, all of a sudden, the squall ceased,
the moon beamed out, and it became quite calm. Our captain
afterwards said that, "if we had been six yards forwarder we
should have been sunk by the other steamer." I think nothing
of this nautical business ; what with that infernal rock in the
Archipelago, and the old Hydaspes only missing cutting us in
two by a boat's length, and me only a moderate swimmer, I
long to be on shore again and chance the reception, warm or
otherwise, that the poor " Huskies '^ are waiting to give us.

' Well, we have been in sight of land all this afternoon and
have now let go our anchor for the night. With some ditficulty
we recovered our two transports, and the sight on deck is very
curious. Innum.erable lights of red, blue, green, and white are

io8 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

hung from the masts of every ship, so that it looks more like a
big town in the dark with illuminations going on, than a host
of ninety odd ships on the bosom of the Black Sea.

' Eupatoria Point is jvist ahead of us, about ten miles, and
on our left is a line of coast which I have been investigating
with my glasses all the afternoon, but can only make out a
few nice-looking farm-houses and some trees, and on -the top
of the cliffs some Cossacks are galloping wildly to and fro,
brandishing their spears ; but they will evaporate as soon as
we land, I guess. To-morrow morning we hope we shall have
orders to run in and land, but I am afraid to say we shall, for
I have written so often that we were just on the eve of a row
and no row has come oE. Now I must go up on deck and
keep my watch from eight to twelve ; so good-night.

' September 13th, noon. We have just got the order to
land, and we are steaming in close along a flat beach, with
cornfields right down to the shingles.

'September 14th. At last we set foot on hostile shore.
This is more like business, and all are in the highest spirits.'

The army began to disembark with the Light Division,
which were fii'st on shore ; then came our turn to land. We
were packed in boats in light marching order, each man
carrying his knapsack in his hand, and as soon as our craft
touched the shingle out we jumped, and when we had got on
solid ground, fell into oiu" places, stacked our knapsacks in
rows, and waited patiently for orders. In the afternoon we
got the word for the men to put on their knapsacks, and we
marched inland about three miles. This was a long day's
work, and it was getting dark before we piled arms and were
told to fall out and prepare for a night's rest.

Hepburn commanded our company, sometimes called the
' Fighting Fifth.' I was the Lieutenant, and Ennismore
Ensign. A nice, dry ploughed field was our bed that night,
and, fortunately (the farming not being high class), the land
bore a plentiful supply of ripe tall weeds. These were nice
and dry, and we pulled several armfuls up by the roots, and
soon made a splendid bed wide enough for we three to lie on.
I was the only one that owned a waterproof sheet, and I took
the precaution to select the middle position, and a luxurious
place it turned out ; for no sooner were we settled on our
bunch of weeds, each one wrapped in his cloak, with the jolly
old bearskin for his pillow, than it began to rain sharp ; so
we got my waterproof sheet and spread it over us, and I was
soon sound asleep and never enjoyed a better night's rest ; but

A FORAGING PARTY. 109

not so my boon companions, for, poor clears ! the waterproof
was not quite large enough to cover all three of us, and the
consequence was that first Hepburn pulled it oi¥ Ennismore,
then he pulled it oli' Hepburn, and they spent a miserable
night ; but ' Astley ' was as dry as a bone, in the middle, and
when I woke up, about 5 a.m., they both upbraided me for
having slept and snored the whole night long like a hog,
whilst they had been on the rampage pulling the waterproof
backwards and forwards, and christening each other well in
consequence of a selfish wish to keep dry.

The rain had now ceased, so I started on a foraging expe-
dition, as fuel and water were required to cook our breakfast,
and great fun I had. I got two of our company to come with
me, and we each carried eight wooden water-bottles ; I also
took my axe and a brace of revolvers. We had not gone far
before we discovered that the French were in camp a short
distance from us, and many of them were foraging about like
ourselves. We soon espied a well with a low wall round it,
and, running up, we perceived some water ten or twelve feet
down. Having brought a mess-tin with us, we fastened the
water-bottle straps together and let it down into the water ;
when, to our horror, we found it fast, and on looking over the
wall we discovered that a Zouave had hold of our tin. As I
could talk a little French I made him understand that he
should never come to the surface alive if he did not help us
fill our bottles. This he consented to do if we would let him
fill his own, A bargain was at once struck, and, with the
assistance of ' Froggy,' we succeeded in filling all our bottles
after some trouble, helped the Zouave up, and drank to our
better acquaintance and the destruction of the ' E-uskies.'

Now the next thing was fuel. There was a small farmstead
near the well, and I fastened myself to a small post I saw
stuck in the ground and tried all I knew to raise it ; but,
though it wobbled about as if it would come to hand every
moment, it beat us altogether. Just at this moment I spotted
a French soldier carrying a lattice side of an araba on his
head. I ran up to him and offered him ' two bob ' to exchange
his load for the beautiful post we had been lugging at. He
jumped at the idea, pauvre hete that he was, and we trotted
off and heard him using some very strong expressions to the
post ; and I venture to think that if his hot coffee depended
upon that post, he did not get much that morning.

As luck would have it, while returning to camp across
some plough-land I lit on some ripping mushrooms. Little

no FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

dears ! perhaps we didn't just cuddle them up in our handker-
chiefs, and, thus amply laden, we returned to our bivouac by
about eight o'clock, to find most of the battalion trying to
boil their coffee by means of the dried weeds ; but they only
gave a flare up and then died out, without even warming the
liquid. I distributed some of our wood (a popular move) and
soon made a lovely fire.

I cut some fat off my salt pork and popped it in my frying-
pan, and when it had nicely melted, introduced the fragrant
mushrooms and some bits of biscuit.

The first to scent out the delicious fungi was dear old Billy
Bidley ; with his glass firmly wedged in his off eye, he, in
the most genial and mincing tones, congratulated our little
coterie on our good fortune. Of course he was allowed a bite,
and shortly after several pals hurried up and were given leave
to heat their coffee at our fire — in fact the 5th Company's
breakfast was as popular and enticing as the well-filled hamper
of a wealthy boy at Eton.

Most of our mates had got a good soaking during the night,
and Sergeant Feist in his diary writes : ' Rained heavily the
first night ; the battalion lay on a ploughed field. Every one
rose next morning wet through, and my boots were full of
water (on my feet).'

I was detailed for picquet duty on the shore ; so I marched
off with fifty men and spent the afternoon and night in charge
of all material that had been landed from the ships. It was
a funny sight to watch some poor bullocks which had been
purchased at Eupatoria for the Commissariat. There were no
means of landing them from the ships, so they were shoved
overboard, and the sailors in the boats guided them to swim
on shore, which most of them managed very creditably ; but
several were too exhausted to be driven any further. Our
picquet was relieved in the morning, and 1 had a fancy to
coax a stray bullock to our camp ; but he showed temper and,
though the men did all they could to bring him along with us,
it was no go, and we were most reluctantly compelled to
leave this truly succulent morsel by the roadside.

About midway to our camp a sheep crossed our path. I
halted the men, piled arms, and I and two of the men took oft*
our coats and ran down the mutton, bringing him back in
triumph. We were on our way to camp with our prize when,
as bad luck would have it, we met a General and his staff
riding down the beach, and I asked permission to convey the
animal to our quarters ; but only got a wigging for my pains

MY GREEK SERVANT PROVES USEFUL. iii

and for meddling with property not my own by purchase or
gift. It was quite heartbreaking to watch the fleecy darling
scamper off, and then to actually behold his capture by some
French soldiers shortly after, whose ideas of meimi and tuiim
were not nearly so strict as ours.

Tents were served out to us, and we remained on the same
ground for four days, on one of which Jerry Goodlake and I
took our guns and went some distance beyond the Cavalry
vedettes, and had fair sport — viz., two hares and twelve or
fourteen quail. On our return we fell in with a French
General and his staif , all mounted, and having with them a
spotted Dalmatian carriage-dog, with whose assistance they
had also been indulging in la chasse. They were paralyzed at
the result of our bag, and in melancholy tones admitted that
' Monsieur le General a tue un epervier seulementJ

The next day I took my Greek servant and went to a Tartar
village to buy poultry. The natives shook their heads and
said that they ' had nothing to sell ' ; but my Greek, being
up to their little games, removed some straw upon which we
were standing, and, lying down with his ear to the ground, he
soon reported that ' he heard some turkeys and fowls talking
it over ' in one of the large round caverns in which these
people store their grain. He soon found the stone that closed
the entrance, and, lifting it oft", we made a Tartar boy get in,
and he handed up as many birds as we could carry, and we
chucked an equal number of shillings on the ground as an
equivalent (it being a shooting matter to steal anything). We
then returned to the camp, well pleased with our day's
marketing.

The day after, I sent my Greek out to try and buy a pony,
and he returned with quite a decent animal, and its owner.
I pulled out four pounds — all that he demanded for it — with
great glee, and at once set to work to rig up a pack-saddle. I
got leave to take our bell-tent with us when we moved, on
condition that I paid the Commissariat Department for it.
These few days were jolly enough and the weather was
splendid; but on the 18th we got orders to march the next
morning to the Buljanak, a small stream between us and the
river Alma.

On the morning of the 19th we fell in about 5 a.m., and had
a long day's march, much lengthened by the large body of
troops to be moved, and we did not reach our bivouac on the
stream of the Buljanak till 5 p.m., although I do not believe
that the actual distance covered was more than twelve or

112 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

thirteen miles. I carried a lot of things, and was pretty well
baked. Our Cavalry and Horse- Artillery had a slight scrim-
mage with the advanced posts of the Russians about 4 p.m.,
and killed several of them. We only had two men wounded
and six or eight horses killed.

I now come to the most exciting day of my life, namely,
that of the battle of the Alma. I am quite aware that this
memorable victory has been recorded and chronicled many
times previously ; but I am anxious to give my account of the
fight, and I am vain enough to believe that what I jot down
here is actually correct.

It was a glorious day in more senses than one ; for the sun
shone brightly on us from start to finish, and I now give my
version of that day's work, compiled partly from memory, and
partly from two letters which I sent home, one written on the
very day of the engagement, and the other three days later.

"When the dawn broke on that eventful morning (about
5 A.M.), we shook ourselves up a bit, and after a snack of salt
pork and a bit of biscuit, with a drop of hot coffee, we paraded ;
but were told we should not march before seven o'clock. The
majority then lay down again ; but as I felt wonderfully well
and extra keen to have a peep at the ground in front of us, I
took my haversack with my writing things in it and my
telescope, and made my way a little beyond our outposts. As
1 was going I met Colonel Gordon, of the Grenadiers, who was
on the staff, and asked if there was any chance of getting our
letters, as they were three or four days overdue. He was in a
great hurry, and as he rode off he said : ' Oh no ! we shall be
in a general action in an hour or so.' This fairly woke me
up, and I got on a bit of a hillock, pulled a good armful of
dry weeds, and, lying on them, took a good spy towards the
Alma. As the sun rose and dispelled the mist, I could
discover a few Cossacks prowling about in our front, and
examining the ground where we had killed a few of them and
their horses the evening before.

Beyond these Cossacks were some regiments of Russian
cavalry. About a mile off and straight to our front, extending
some five or six miles, was a long undulating range of hills,
steepest just next to the sea-cliffs on our right front. As the
sun rose I could detect large bodies of Infantry on the hill-
sides. 1 could see their camp-fires and the glitter of the sun's
rays on their piled arms. I was soon joined on this small
eminence by Sir Richard England and one of his staff, and
after a lively chat with him — my young eyes having been of

ADVANCE ON THE RUSSIAN POSITION. 113

service in enlightening him as to the position and great
strength of the enemy — he rode off to command his Division
(the 3rd ; but it was hardly under fire that day).

I wrote a line to the governor and told him ' we should soon
be at it, and that I had a feeling I should be hit high up ;
but, with luck, should be able to shoot a cock-pheasant at
Everleigh before Christmas.' This presentiment, curiously
enough, turned out very nearly correct ; for, though I did
manage to shoot several bunnies, I could not (owing to my
wound) get my gun higher than my hip. But to return to
business. I rejoined my battalion at once, and about 7 a.m.
we fell in and took ground to our right, and then waited some
time to give the French, who were on our right, a chance to
get in proper alignment with us. About eleven the whole
army moved off, the French on our right next the sea, the
English in the centre, and the old Turk on our riglit, in rear
of the French. "We marched forward in column of Divisions,
and in front of us were the Light Division, the Artillery being
on the flanks, and our body of Cavalry, 1000 strong, hovering
about where required.

We went ahead steadily but slowly ; it was a fine stretch of
open country, so that we kept to our formation pretty well.
About 12.30 we reached the summit of an incline which sloped
gently down to the river Alma, and, all of a sudden, some
small outhouses and stacks which fringed the vineyards close
to the river appeared to be in a blaze, the enemy no doubt
thinking it unwise to leave us any shelter that they might
afford. From this brow the numbers of our foe and the
strength of their position were clearly discernible. About a
mile to our front was a long low line of wall enclosing the
vineyards, which were about 300 yards deep. Then came the
river, varying from 20 to 30 feet wide, and fordable nearly
everywhere. Beyond the river was a very steep bank, about
20 feet high, and above this bank the grounds rose gradually
in undulating lines, being in some places quite steep and in
others much easier. These heights were decked with masses
of troops, and here and there a battery or field-work along the
face of the hill, the guns of which could be plainly seen peeping
through the sand-bag embrasures, and, to show to what degree
of accuracy the ' Ruskies ' had reduced their firing, they had
placed white posts in the ground, and from continual practice
they had got the range to a nicety ; for they had been encamped
there about two months, and, as two of their old generals (who
were subsequently taken prisoners) told us : ' They were con-

I

114 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

fident that they could hold the hill-side for three weeks, unless
their flanks were turned.'

Well, we had now arrived on the top of the slope, and the
Rifles and some of the Light Division opened out into skir-
mishing order, and as they advanced, the Ruskies let drive
with their big guns, the work of destruction thus beginning
about 1 P.M. For the fii'st time in my life I saw men carried
past on stretchers, pale and bleeding, on their way to the
doctors in the rear, and the row became awfully exciting.
Our division consisted of the 93rd, 79th, and 42nd Highlanders,
and the three battalions of the Guards. On our immediate
left were the Coldstreams, with the Highlanders on their left ;
while the Grenadiers were on our right, and we all deployed
into line. As the round-shot began ricochetting through our
ranks, the word was passed to ' open out and let them go.'
Entre nous we did not want much telling, you may bet, and
just about this time, when I was marching in rear of my
company, a big shot came bounding along and passed through
the centre. A capital chap, named George Dufl*, who was our
best wicket-keeper, was just in front of me, and I sang out to
him, ' Duff ! you are keeping wicket, you ought to have taken
that.' He turned, and, smiling quietly, said : ' No, sir ! it
had a bit too much pace on. I thought you was long-stop, so
I left it for you.' It was wonderful ready of him, was it not ?
when you remember what we were about and where we were.

Poor Duff ! he never played cricket any more. Every now
and then we were told to lie down, and then, as we advanced,
the shot and shell kept whizzing and whistling over our heads,
and the dii't sent flying every now and again as the shot
struck, and some poor fellow to the right or left would be
carried to the rear. Now we got up for the last time and
marched down to the corner of the wall — no running for its
shelter, mind, but all as cool as lettuces. By this time the
skirmishers were nearly through the vineyards, and we got
the order to advance, and over the wall we went. I gave one
or two fellows a hand up, and the balls did whistle round like
* old Billy.' We were now in the vineyards, and pushing our
way through the tangled vines (for the vines were allowed to
grow loose, and there were no stakes to bind them to, as in
the wine-growing districts). Few stooped to pick the grapes ;
but the grape and canister made many a poor fellow double
up. We reached the edge of the stream — ah^eady tinged with
blood — and I saw poor Charlie Baring, who was with the right
flank of the Coldstreiims, tumble over. 1 ran up to uim for a

BATTLE OF ALMA. n$

second and saw that his arm was broken. I cut back to my
company and went into the river, but it was only up to my
knees. There was an old pollard willow lying half across the
stream in our track, and, curious to say, some of the men
would try and cross the water by its aid, so as to keep their
legs and feet dry. We crossed and got under the steep bank
which I mentioned previously, where we were as safe as if we
were in the ditch of the Tower of London. We were getting
our men nicely into their places — for the vines and the river
had broken our touch ; by rights we should have had time to
re-form, and have taken off our packs, for then we could have
charged up the hill in proper form ; but our Colonel, Sir
Charles Hamilton, shouted to us to ' advance and support the
Light Division,' who were catching it uncommon hot at this
time ; so we clambered up the steep bank and doubled up the
hill in the teeth of a tremendous fire.

ii6

CHAPTER XII.

Battle of Alma concluded — Rush for the Battery— The True Reason of
onr Line Wavering and Retiring — Wounded — Under the Vineyard
Wall— Tea — Poor George Duff — A Bit of Luck for the Cook — Convey-
ing Wounded on Board the Ships — I am taken aboard Sansparcil^
Hepburn, Ennismore, Bui we r, Baring, Chewton, Haygarth,all Wounded
— Fifth Company without Officers— Letters Home— Horace Oust Killed
— Bob Lindsay to get the Victoria Cross — Death of Thistlethwaite —
Embark in the 6'o/o?n&o— Terrible State of Ship— Arrival at Scutari-
See Fred Sayer — No more Running for him — Deaths of Colonel Cox
and Jollitfe from Cholera — Death of Chewton — ]\Iy Wound on the
Mend — Xarrow ?"scape of Gibbs — Invaliiled Home in the Vcctis^
' Home, Sweet Home ' — A Word about Everleigh— Foxhall- Old Picture
of the Combat — Our Woodman on Rabbits.

Up to this, nothing could have gone better, and the men had
behaved splendidly ; for, one or two might have tumbled down
among the vines, and thought it prudent to lie snug. But
now came a lull in our ardour, and wdien the circumstances are
dispassionately considered, I think there are few that w411 deny-
that we were the victims of real bad luck. Immediately in
front of us was one of those infernal earthworks armed with
eight or nine big guns, well served with grape and canister,
also a regiment of Russian riflemen, some lying full length,
others kneeling, and the rest standing ; but one and all taking
pot shots at us as w^e came up the hill, and they must have
been bitter bad marksmen, or else our line of two deep ought
to have been annihilated. We had fixed bayonets, and I
verily believe we should have driven the Ruskies out of their
battery ; but just at the critical moment the 23rd Welsh
Eusiliers — who had been terribly cut up, and had gathered
round their colours at the corner of the battery — got the order
to retire, and they came down the hill in a body, right through
the centre of our line, and carried a lot of our men with them.
This caused our line to waver and retire, leaving the officers
in front, and just as I was yelling to our company to come
back, I got a fearful ' whack/ and felt as if some one had hit

WOUNDED AT ALMA. it;

me hard with a bludgeon on the neck. Fortunately I did not
fall, but turned and went down the hill, feeling awfully queer
and dizzy. How I got there I don't know ; but I found my-
self standing in the river and sousing my face with water,
which somewhat revived me ; then one of our drummers came
running up and gave me a go of brandy, and helped me
through the vineyard, and there I lay down behind the wall
which we had so lately crossed.

Before I did so, however, I managed to look up the hill, and
had the intense satisfaction of seeing that our men had gone
right through the battery ; for the Grenadiers and the Cold-
stream Guards on both flanks had poured in such a heavy fire,
that out bolted the Euskies, and our fellows followed them up
and killed a lot of them. In a short time I could hear only
an occasional shot, and so learned that we had gained a com-
plete victory, and that the enemy were in full retreat towards
kSebastopol.

I lay very still, and never took my hand off the back of my
neck, where there was a tidy hole, and I bled freely. I felt
no other wound, so I concluded that I had a ball in my head,
and that I was not long for ' here.' My head throbbed fear-
fully, and when the doctor came to have a look at me he said,
'Well, what's the matter with you?' I replied, 'I've got a
ball in my head and am as good as settled any time,' He
rejoined, 'Not you ! Let's have a look at you.' So I took
my hand off the hole in my neck, and he felt about and
discovered a little hole in front, where the ball had gone in ;
and as soon as he told me this I felt a different man, for I
knew that the bullet had gone bang through and out. He
put some bandages round my neck, and was then obliged to
hurry off to more urgent cases.

I got up and had a look round, and a terrible sight it was
to see many pals and lots of wounded men, being constantly
brought to the rear and laid under the wall.

However, they told me that ' none of my brother officers
had been killed ' ; and that, coupled with the proud feeling of
joy at our glorious victory, soon made my spirits rise, and I
was able to assist some of the men to boil some water and
make a lot of tea ; this I carried round, and gave several of
our fellows a go down of that good old beverage. Amongst
others, I found poor George Duff, with whom I had been
chaffing about the round-shot not four hours before. Poor
fellow ! he was in a terrible plight : one of his thighs was
horribly smashed, and he had lost a lot of blood ; but he said

ii8 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFF.

in a very low voice : ' It's all np with me, Captain.' I shook his
hand and realized that it was; but it fairly upset me, and
does now when I think of it, for we had not a cheerier or more
willing soldier in the whole lot, and many is the half-crown
or shilling that I had given him (or, as he called it, lent),
especially when we lay at Chichester ; for his parents lived at
Midhurst, he being the son of a sweep there, and he had a
brother in the 3rd Buffs, a real good sort too.

I must here allude to an eye-opener I experienced while
brewing the tea. The very first man I saw bowled over was
an old soldier, batman to our Sergeant-Major, and often
employed as cook. I had positively seen him drop down like
a dead man before we got to the vineyards ; and now, lo and
behold ! this very individual was the first to come and heljD
make tea. I could not believe my eyes, and said, ' Hallo ! old
boy, I made sure you were dead ! ' He promptly replied : ' So
did I, Captain ; for I felt sure that I had got a ball in my
stomach when I fell down, but the bullet had hit the buckle
of the leather strap that I wear round my waist,' and pulling
up his flannel shirt, he showed me the most extraordinary
discoloration of his skin, like two or three miniature rainbows,
caused by the force of the bullet, which had indented the
tongue of the buckle, but had not even broken the skin.
Tidy luck for ' cooky,' was it not ?

Feeling very cpieer, I returned to my place under the wall,
and found Hepburn with his arm in a sling, a ball having
passed through his fore-arm and out at his elbow, fortunately
missing the joint, Ennismore was there also, nursing his leg,
a bullet having found its way through the calf ; so the 5th
Company was without an officer that night, as all three of us
were hit. My Greek came up with my pony and tent, so we
turned in there for the night ; but I found that I could not
lie down, and had to prop myself up as best I could, passing
a very middling night, I can assure you.

I was up early and went to see how the wounded were
doing, and met a man carrying a leg to the big grave that
had been prepared for the dead, and he told me that the limb
belonged to poor Duff ; so I made my way to where he was,
but found him dying fast. When I spoke he just opened his
eyes, and I could see that he recognized me ; but his work
was done in this world, and he passed away. Several men
had died during the night, and it was with a heavy heart that
I returned to the tent. In the forenoon a naval officer arrived
and told me that he had orders to convey the wounded on

MANY OFFICERS WOUNDED. 119

board ship, and shortly afterwards a lot of sailors appeared,
and — stretchers being scarce — they had rigged up some
impromptu ones by fastening bits of canvas between two o?.rs,
and on this rude conveyance I was carried some three or four
miles.

The sailors were cheery chaps, and kept talking all the way
about the battle, and, though they showed a lot of sympathy
for the pain I endured as they swung along, yet, when they
halted to rest, they took the precaution to shelter themselves
from the broiling hot sun under the shade of some trees, but
left me fully exposed to the heat and flies. However, thank
goodness ! we soon got on board a very fine ship, the

I will now quote from my second letter home. ' September
22nd, on board the line-of-battle ship Scmspariel. Here I am,
as comfortable as need be, bar my neck and shoulder being
awfully sore and stiff. You will see by the papers an account
of our victory, and such a one has never been surpassed. All
seem to think it a most plucky affair ; I cannot say, as it was
my first action ; but I never imagined in my wildest moments
that men could go ahead in face of such a shower of bullets,
grape, shells, and round-shot. We lost heavily, as our com-
pany, being just opposite the entrenchment, had about the
worst of it — all three ofiicers wounded, and thirty-four out of
eighty-eight men missing on calling the roll over that evening ;
so there was no mistake about it.

' Hepburn, Ennismore, and I stuck together, and here we
are, in a fine ship, with every comfort and kindness. I do
not know what we shall be done with yet. Bulwer of ours is
here, shot through the hand, and poor Charlie Baring of the
Coldstreams with his left arm taken off at the socket. We
had nine fellows put hors de combat ; Colonel Haygarth, one
through the leg, and when on the ground a fearful wound
which has taken off the top of his shoulder. Poor Lord
Chewton, most awfully cut about, five wounds in arms, head,
and leg ; he was bayoneted and beat about the head as he
lay on the ground with a broken thigh, and his life only saved
by a Russian ofiicer during the momentary retreat we made.
Colonel Berkeley, leg broke, but doing well. Annesley, shot
through the cheek and mouth, and jaw cut about ; he cannot
eat or speak, but doing well. Buckley, a ball in the nape
of his neck, extracted behind the shoulder-blade. Gipps, a
bayonet-wound in his hand, but not much hurt ; doing well.
Dalrymple, a spent ball on the knee, also going on well^

I20 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

making eleven officers hit out of twenty-nine. The Brigadier,
two Majors, and the Adjutant had their horses shot under
them, and bullets through their bearskins.

' Poor Horace Oust was killed ; he had his thigh broken by
a round-shot, and died from exhaustion after amputation.
The Coldstreams did not suffer near so much as w^e did,
through not being in front of the battery.'

I now quote a few lines from Sergeant Feist's diary : —
' The coloiu^s (Queen's) were carried by Lieutenant R. Lindsay,
and the regimental by Lieutenant A. H. Thistlethwaite, both
officers escaping without a scratch. The Queen's colour had
ticeidy-four shot-holes, and the pole shot asunder about the
centre and again at the lower end. The regimental colour
had no shot-holes. The sergeants with the colours were
McKechnie, slightly wounded ; Nicholas Lane, killed ; Boyce,
unhurt ; and A. McLeod, shot through the arm, of which
wound he died a month after. It may here be remarked that
Sergeant J. Lane — Pay-Sergeant, 4th Company, and whose
place in the line w^as next the colours — was also killed within
a few yards of his brother Nicholas. This Sergeant J. Lane
left his wife at Varna (ill), and she died about the same time,
and neither knew of the other's death.'

To quote from my letters once more : ^ ' Bob Lindsay (now
Lord Wantage) I look upon as the luckiest and pluckiest of
our lot, for, though the colour he carried was riddled, he was
untouched, and of those who were near him and best able to
judge, all said that he displayed conspicuous bravery, and we
were all pleased when he was awarded the Victoria Cross.
Poor Thistlethwaite died afterwards of disease in the hospital
at Scutari.

' The " Kuskies " have gone on towards Sebastopol, most
likely to the river Katcha, where they will make another
stand if they ain't too frightened, and we are to follow them
up at once. Officers run very short throughout the divisions
that were engaged.

' 5.30 P.M. Hepburn has just come to say that we had better
go on board the Colombo, which starts with wounded officers and
men for Scutari to-morrow. I have been keeping quiet in my
cot all day, and, beyond being very stiff and helpless, I feel
little pain, and the doctor says I shall be all right in a
month.

' On board the Colombo I shared a cabin with a Russian

^ It has been deemed advisable to give these letters without alteration
of any kind, which fact will no doubt kindly be remembered. — Editor.

NO PREPARATIONS FOR THE WOUNDED. 121

officer. He could talk a little French, and was a very plucky,
good sort of chap ; and as I could get about a bit, I was use-
ful to him, for he could not move, having a broken thigh.
There were about eight hundred wounded on board, some of
them very bad cases. Over fifty men died and were consigned
to the deep before we arrived at Scutari. I was just glad to
get out of that putrid tub ; what with the doctors practising
on the limbs of the wounded, with their shirt-sleeves all rolled
up above their elbows, the moans of the dying, the crowded
state of the decks, and other discomforts, it was real joy to be
rowed on shore, where we three, and Bulwer, had a nice airy
room to ourselves.

' Not the slightest provision had been made for the wounded,
no more than if we had gone to Alma to play a cricket-match
with the " Huskies." We four lay upon mattresses on the
floor and the men on the bare stone passages, having
nothing to eat that night except what we bought for them
ourselves.

' September 27th. I found this morning that the bullet
had made a tidy hole in the side of my jaw (in my whiskers),
which was hidden by clotted blood, I not having an opportu-
nity to get well at it till this morning. Poor Chewton is next
door to us and is terribly bad ; I go and see him three or four
times a day, and write letters home at his dictation ; but I
fear there is no chance for him.'

The next letter is dated October 4th, and is as follows : ' I
am getting on wonderful well and can sleep for some time
together, but I can't lie down yet. I really believe in a fort-
night I shall be as right as nails. I hope my head will get
straight again ; they say it will, but at present it has a very
knowing lurch to the near side, and, of course, is quite a
fixture. I am getting a first-rate hand at making plain
puddings, and cook nearly all that we four eat, two being unable
to use their hands, but "Whack" (Ennismore), with his leg
up, can help a bit. We get some splendid fruit, grapes in
particular. Hepburn and I managed to walk over to the
hospital yesterday. Poor Fred Sayer of the 23rd (the man I
ran at Slough) has got a bad shot-wound in his ankle, and
when we entered his ward he said to me, "It's all over with
the running now, Mate," and true enough ; for he has got a
terrible foot, and it don't look like carrying a spiked shoe any
more. A thousand pities ! for he was real nimble.

'We saw a lot of our men, and they are most of them
doing well. The arrangements are now first-rate, and they

122 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

have every comfort. Mrs. Grantham Scott, who is at Pera
with her sick husband, sends them over plenty of splendid
grapes every day. Lots of fellows called to me by name as I
passed through the wards, some of whom I did not know ; but
many are old mates at cricket or football, and we are all real
cheery. I suppose it's the feeling that we have done our duty
well that gives us a light heart !

' I saw one extraordinary case that day and knew the man
well, but just now forget his name. A ball had passed slap
through his body, entering his stomach on a level with his
lower ribs and coming out just by the side of his spine. He
was doing right well ! We hear constantly from the front.
The '' Huskies,'^ after Alma, scuttled straight off to Sebastopol,
never even making any stand on the Katcha or stopping to
blow up the bridge ; so they must have been jolly well demor-
alized. As an old Russian General who died here a day or
two ago expressed it : " They expected to meet men, but they
had met devils in red coats.'' Poor old boy ! the red- coats had
played the devil with him and no mistake ! On clit, old
Menscliikofi: has bolted out of Sebastopol (like a rabbit with
an old dog-ferret behind him, out of his burrow), and our fel-
lows took his carriage, full of champagne, and his portable
kitchen — don't I wish I had been there.

' Gipps writes me cheerily from the front ; but tells me that
he had a narrow squeak the other day, having ridden out to a
village on a foraging expedition. He was chatting to some
natives (Tartars) when bang ! whiz ! close to his head, and
looking round he saw a Turco (French Algerian), who had
mistaken him for a Cossack or some sort of enemy, and all
the ignorant toad said was, ^' Mon Dieu ! ih sont Anglais,'' and
rode away hard all.

' We hear the cholera is bad at the front — Colonel Cox
(Grenadiers) was marching with his com]3any at eleven o'clock,
and at four was dead and buried. Poor Jollitfe, of the Cold-
streams, is dead of cholera, and a rare good sort he was, too.
Poor Chewton ! he died at 2.30 a.m. on the 8th. I shall never
forget his sending for me the afternoon before, when he said,
" The doctors tell me, through the clergyman, that I have not
got many more hours to live. I am not afraid to die. I wish
to see you all and bid you good-bye.'' I was with him at
9 P.M., when he said, " Good-bye, old fellow." I went to lay
down, but bid his servant call me if he got worse. At 2,15 I
was roused ; he lay quite still. I put a bit of looking-glass to his
mouth, and a faint dew overspread it ; but the next time I dicj

POOR PUNTER BLAIR. 123

so it remained quite bright, and he was gone. He was a gallant
soldier, and I think I am right in saying that he was the
only man in our battalion that had been under fire before
Alma, and, curiously enough, he had a strong presentiment
that he would be killed. I had written a lot of letters for
him, and was much touched at his death.

' October 15th. My neck is certainly getting much more
pliable, and I can sleep on my side, which is a great boon.
Seven officers of the Guards arrived here yesterday, on their
way to the front, and two of them. Colonel Hunter Blair and
Lord James Murray, go to join our battalion. Poor Blair had
bad luck as he was disembarking to bring us our letters, I
must tell you that he is very particular as to his appearance
and dress. He got himself up en grande tenue, I presume, to
inspire awe into the feeble minds of the Turkish boatmen who
were to row him on shore in a caique. All being ready, as he
thought, he jauntily stepped on to the companion-ladder to
descend to the boat ; but it v/as not made fast, and the
moment that he was fairly on the ladder down it went, and he
was ducked over head and ears in the Bosphorus, our letters
that he had with him being soaked, of course. '' Punter '^
(alias Blair) used fearful language on coming to the surface ;
however, he was pulled into the boat and, having changed his
swell uniform for a more seedy but drier kit, he and Murray
came up to our room, and we had a long chat together ; for
we were real eager to hear home news.

' Poor " Punter," it was his last trip, for I grieve to say
that he fell at Inkerman on the 5th of November, and Jim
Murray was invalided home in May 1855.

'October 15th. Blair and Murray have both gone on to
the Crimea. From the front we hear that we shall soon have
three hundred guns in position, and, when ready, the whole
lot are to let drive into Sebastopol at the same moment.
Jolly for the " Puskies ! " if our fellows hold straight, won't
it? Gipps writes : ''Our trenches are now about 1200 yards
from the town ; we can hear the bands playing, and see the
women walking about." Poor dears ! they will have to shift
their quarters very soon, I take it.

' Now for some cheery news. A board of medical officers
sat on us yesterday (19th), examined our wounds, and decided
that we must all be sent home. I almost fancy I ought to
have waited here a bit to get well, then joined our battalion
and helped them get into Sebastopol ; but the doctor said
" it would be some time before I was fit for duty ; for, though

124 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

my wounds are healing over nicely, my neck and left arm
are deuced stiff ; so we three really start by the next
ship, and we expect to have a jolly time of it on our way
home.'

Well, in due course we started, and I find that on Novem-
ber the 14th I wrote : ' Here we are, on board the Vectis, and
at last really in sight of Marseilles. A nice time we have
had of it ! This beastly steamer stopped five days at Smyrna
to take in cargo, consisting chiefly of figs, and as our skipper
says every fig has a worm or grub in it, we must have a tidy
lot of bait on board for those fond of fishing.

' We went on shore at Smyrna and were entertained by our
Consul and the Turkish Governor, and drove about the
country. At Malta we had to wait for the Indian mails, and
it was jolly enough there, as several of our acquaintances of
last March and April were very glad to see us, and it was
very pleasant to talk to the ladies again ; for I had not had
a drop of tea with any of the fair sex since leaving Malta in
April, excepting a moderate brew with Dr. Reid and his four
girls at Scutari Hospital one evening, and a friendly cup with
Lady Errol (the best of wives), who is on board our boat
tending her somewhat peculiar husband, whom she has
stuck to with extraordinary pluck through thick (and plenty
of it) and thin. We have been four days, instead of two,
crossing from Malta, as one of our paddle-wheels broke down
twice.

'November 20th, Guards Club. Here we are all right.
We arrived at Dover at eleven o'clock yesterday morning,
where we had to wait, mirabile dictu, till 7.30, there being
no train. I have been to see Sir W. Eergusson, to ask
him about my neck and arm. He was very glad to see me
again, and said I had had a wonderful near squeak, and,
opening a cupboard full of surgical instruments, remarked,
pointing to them : " I've not got an instrument there that I
could pass the same track as that bullet took, without tapping
your carotid artery and letting out your life-blood. The
artery must have yielded to the bullet, and it was most for-
tunate that no bullion or cloth from your coat-collar was
driven into the wound ! " But 1 told him that I was so jolly
hot " Alma day " that I threw my coat open and had nothing
round my neck — luck for me again ! Good old boy ! he
would not take a fee, and said that my head would get
straight in time, and my arm be useful too.

' I meet mates at the corner of every street, and am pulled

A WORD ABOUT EVERLEIGH. 125

about and admired like a " new bonnet " ; in fact I'm so
bewildered and joyful I hardly know what to do next. How-
ever, I shall be with you all to-morrow, hip ! hip ! '

Here I come to an end for the present of quoting from my
letters home, as I joined my people at St. Leonards next day,
and folks of every degree made a regular doll of me. My
family and I soon returned to Everleigh, and I had a high
old time there, and, after all sorts of rejoicings, a plantation
was made in the grounds and called the ' Alma Clump.' I
have never described my old home, and I think that I ought
to do so ; for it is a real nice old place of the sort.

The house was built for Queen Elizabeth's falconer, Sir
Ralph Sadler, and there is now in one of the drawing-rooms
a full-length portrait of him painted in oils on only a half-
planed wood-panel. On his wrist he carries a hawk with
jesses and bells on. Everleigh is a sort of oasis on Salisbury
Plain. The house and park are w^ell sheltered by plantations,
and other coverts have been planted from time to time, which
are bounded on all sides by vast stretches of open downs, now
much more broken up by the plough than they used to be ;
though even at the present time you can ride from Everleigh
to Salisbury, eighteen miles as the ' crow flies,' without
jumping a fence or even opening a gate, and nearly all the
way you are on fine springy old turf. It is a fine sporting
property for everything save fishing, the nearest trout-stream
being four miles ofi:, and the kennels of the ' Ted worth Hunt '
are just about the same distance. I do not know a better
place to train horses than on and around these downs. Eox-
hall was prepared close by, wdien he won the Cesarewitch and
Cambridgeshire, and for years I fondly hoped that I should
have been man enough to have a stable of horses there ; and
so I should, if I had had better luck.

There used to hang in the hall at Everleigh — but now
removed to Lincolnshire — a very curious old picture descrip-
tive of two combats in which an old ancestor of mine took
part. The first is thus described : ' The combat in Paris
between Sir John de Astley and Peter de Masse, 20th August,
anno Dom. 1438.' The two knights are portrayed encased
in armour and on horseback, their only weapons being long
lances. There are thi^ee curious sorts of ' grand stands,'
erected, I suppose, for the accommodation of * members only,'
interested in the proceedings. I believe the centre figure is
that of the King of France (Louis XL) at that period. At
the sides of the picture are small square panels, with the

126 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

following inscriptions beneath each one. Figure 1 : ' Here
the King grant eth him license to perform the combat.'
Figure 2 : ' The manner of his being conducted to the lists.'
Figure 3 : ' Here he taketh his oath in the presence of the
High Constable and Marshal, that he hath no charm, herb,
nor any enchantment about him.' Figure 4 : ' Here he
pierceth the helmet of Masse with his spear.'

In the same frame is also depicted the second combat, as
follows : ' The combat in Smithfield between Sir John de
Astley and Sir Philip Boyle, 30th January, anno Dom. 1441 ;'
and at the sides, in similar fashion to that of the first combat,
are described the dilf erent situations. Figure 1 : ' Here
having got the victory he returneth thanks to God.' Figure
2 : ' Here the King (Hemy YL) girds him with the sword
of knighthood.' Figure 3 : ' Here he presented Masse's
helmet to his lady.' Figure 4 : ' Here he is invested with
the robes and order of the Garter.'

This latter combat was fought on foot in full armour, and
each combatant fought with a shield and short sword. In
the centre stand at Smithfield, appears the King in royal
robes, with the ' Fool ' at his feet. There is also a portrait
of ' Good old Astley,' from which I gather that he was a man
of moderate stature, very grim and determined-looking, and
his hands (as drawn) are particularly small ; in fact I should
say about 6^^ gloves would be his size. From this picture I
conclude that my ancestors were fond of a ' round in the ring,'
and also, from the fact of his presenting the defeated gentle-
man's helmet to his ' lady,' that they were as devoted to the
fair sex as I am myself.

The picture of the two combats has been copied in worsted
and floss silk cross-stitch, which are at present in wonderful
good preservation on the backs of two settees and six anti-
quated old chairs. There is a replica of it at Arbury (the
late Colonel Newdigate's place in Warwickshire), which was
left, I believe, as an heirloom in Astley Castle — an old place
which formerly belonged to our family. Everleigh has always
been famous for the quantity of rabbits that abound in the
large patches of gorse which are scattered about on the open
downs, and many a pleasant day have I spent in their com-
pany with gun and ferret. The little rascals played havoc
with some new plantations I planted, and on one occasion a
Scotch woodman we employed tickled me very much, when I
was deploring to him the mischief they had done, by remark-
ing : ' Aye, what a f ule old Noey was when he brought they

OUR WOODMAN ON RABBITS. iif

twa rabbits out of the ark wi' liim ! ' — a sentiment no doubt
thoroughly in harmony with the feelings of dwellers in the
Antipodes, where the coneys are masters of the situation,
but not in accord with mine, for there is no better fun than
toppling over the nimble rabbit when you hold well forward,
and bunny is in a hurry.

128

CHAPTER XIII.

Go on Duty in London — Recruiting in Sussex — Country Visits — Letter
from Hepburn — 'Where Duty Calls' — I Volunteer to Return to the
Crimea — Disapproval at Home — Embark at Portsmouth — On Board
Alma Troopship — Arrive at Malta— Buy a Pony at Pera — In tlie Sea
of Marmora — Arrive at Balaclava — Old Friends and Faces — Rejoin
Battalion in Camp on Balaclava Hill — Rough "Work at the Front—
Curtis, Carter, and Lempriere Killed same Night — Dine Avith Jerry
Goodlake — He Receives the Victoria Cross — Francis Baring — Potatoes
£20 a Ton — Nigel Kingscote — Neville — Keith — Gordon — De Bathe —
Russians Fear our Men — Billy Russell and Sayer — Marshal Pelissier
Succeeds Canrobert — ]\Iy Pony Dies — Buy another for £40 — Halford
and Hutchinson — Foot-races on Queen's Birthday — Wild Dayrell Wins
Derby, 1855 — 'Crow Coibett' — His Death — Taking of Mamelon —
Death of Colonel Yea — Catch Fever.

After enjoying myself thoroughly in my old home, I went
up to London to do duty. The dreadful privations to which
our army was exposed during that terrible and never-to-be-
forgotten winter of 1854 had so much reduced the number
of our battalion before Sebastopol, that the authorities at the
Horse Guards invited officers to go into different districts and
endeavour to get recruits for the Brigade of Guards, and as
I was not only well known, but I venture to think fairly
popular, in Sussex — particularly round about Chichester — I
volunteered to go recruiting in that county, and met with
middling success, though the limited standard of education in
this district was rather against me ; for often when I drove
into a town on market-day in a brake, with six or seven
musicians blowing ' hard all ' on their instruments some
exciting martial strain, such as ' See the Conquering Hero
Comes,' or ' Rule, Britannia,' thereby collecting a goodly
crowd of yokels, I found that even my most winning ways,
and display of plenty of gay ribbons, to say nothing of having
paid for lots of drinks all round, fell rather flat. I was
repeatedly met, on offering a likely-looking customer the
Queen's shilling to enlist, with the remark : ' Not me ; it wa&

RECRUITING AT LEWES. 129

only last night, when we stood the parish clerk drinks to read
us how the war was Sfoinof on in the East, and w^e heard there
was no beer, and wonderful little to eat for the sodjers out
there, that we made up our minds that men couldn't fight on
an empty stomach, and we ain't a-going to try.'

At Lewes I heard that the Militia were to be disbanded
after their term of training had expired ; so there I went,
and obtained leave from the commanding officer to say a few
words to the men when he formed them into square, previous
to dismissing them to their homes. I was sanguine enough
to believe that I had roused the martial spirit of not a few,
and invited them to meet me in the yard of the principal
hotel, where I fondly hoped to enrol a goodly number for
transportation to the clutches of the drill-sergeant.

As the beer began to tell, I, my private servant (Hopkins),
and a corjDoral of fine physique belonging to my regiment,
took the names of between thirty and forty men, decked them
out with ribbons, and bestowed the shilling on them. I left
soon after dark, and drove over to stop with my old comrade,
Colonel Hepburn, at his place (The Hook) not far from Lewes.
I left my servant, and gave him my forage cap and sword to
wear ; and as he w^as a very clever fellow, he personated an
officer with considerable success, and I bade him and the
corporal keep up the military ardour of those I had enlisted.
I returned in the morning to take the men before the doctor.
I found Hopkins all right, and inquired for the corporal ; but
my servant informed me, with a knowing look, that ' he was
not quite fit to appear yet.' It seems that the gallant soldier
had been obliged to take so many drinks with his would-be
future comrades that he could not come up to time, and, as
Hopkins expressed it, he had had the corporal's head several
times in a bucket of cold water, and hoped that in a short
time he would be able to produce him fit for duty.

To cut a long story short, we marched our squad to the
doctor's residence ; but, alas ! from sundry malformations,
mostly of toes and veins, about one-half of the men were
rejected. One or two paid ' smart money,' and I do not
believe I sent off (with the now resuscitated corporal) more
than eight recruits from Lewes ; neither do I think that any
other officer had better luck.

During the early spring of 1855 I paid several visits
amongst my country friends, none of which did I enjoy more
than a trip to my old travelling companion Peel at Bryn-y-
Pys, where I met with a hearty reception from the many good

K

I30 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

fellows I knew in that neighbourhood, and had some cheery-
days hunting with old Wattie "Wynn, and his paragon of
huntsmen, old Walker. Early in March I got a letter from
Hepburn, when I was at Everleigh, telling me that a draft
was shortly to be sent out to join our battalion at the front,
and that he intended to volunteer to accompany them — would
I go too 1 As I was all right again, my head pretty straight,
and my left arm in full play, I could do no other than follow
his lead ; at the same time I must confess that it was a bit of
a wrench : for no man could be enjoying himself more than I
was in ' Old England/ and, from all accounts, the utter dis-
comfort and continual peril in the trenches before Sebastopol
were only too graphically and truthfully described in every
letter from one's pals who were there ; but also in Billy
Kussell's interesting and thrilling articles from the scene of
action, as published in the Times newspaper.

However, ' where duty calls, &c.,' I felt bound to obey, and
accompanied my Captain to the Horse Guards ; nor can I ever
forget the intense curiosity with which I listened to Hej)burn's
earnest pleading to be allowed the favour of joining the draft.
The old boy at the Horse Guards into whose presence we two
were ushered, and heard our request, utterly scouted the idea,
pretty much in these words : ' Certainly not ; you have done
your share and the country is proud of you. Let others go
out and earn glory.' He seemed so determined, in fact, to
adhere to his resolution that I felt convinced my jolly time
at home would not be cut short. We both pleaded with
renewed energy (mine was begotten by a feeling of intense
security that he was too stubborn to yield), but my fond
hopes were dashed to the ground — I believe it was owing to
the earnest way in which we put it to him, that ' the men of
our company would sooner be led by us than by comparative
strangers to them.' At all events, he, in a torrent of beati-
tudes on our noble conduct, ' whispering no, consented.'

Oh dear ! oh dear ! how I despised his vacillating mind !
And I am half afraid that I upbraided Hepbm-n for not
letting the old boy have his own w^ay and give our novices a
chance of courting ' death or glory.' However, we had ' been
and done it,' and had but a short time to renew our kit, and
go down to Portsmouth to embark with a draft of quite young
and only half -drilled recruits.

When I reached home, the good old governor was most
explicit in his opinion of the folly I had perpetrated, while
my mother (a long way the best of women to my thinking)

DINE WITH COLONEL SIBTHORPE. 131

was much cut up ; but the feeling that I had done the proper
thing kept my spirits up. There was considerable delay in
starting, caused by the scarcity of proper transports to take
us out. The Horse Guards wanted to send us in the Resistance
— an old tub in which Lord Methuen had refused to take out
his regiment of Militia to Corfu — but this was luckily over-
ruled ; so we waited in London till the fii'st week in April,
when we received orders to start for Portsmouth, where we
duly arrived one afternoon, and found that instructions had
been received for us to sail early the next morning. So, as soon
as we had seen all the men comfortably stowed away on board
the Alma troopship, Hepburn and I returned on shore and
dined at the mess of the Lincolnshire Militia, commanded by
that quaint old gentleman Colonel Sibthorpe (who was for
some time M.P. for Lincoln), and a long night we had of it :
for the CO. never moved off his chair till 3 a.m., and, as his
guests, of course we could not leave him, and some very funny
stories he told us ere we parted.

As soon as it was light we went on board, and soon had
wished our many friends and relatives ' good-bye ' and steam.ed
away to join our comrades in the East. Now, I can refresh
my memory once more from the many letters that I sent
home, which I have before me at the present moment while I
write.

' On April 19th we had a death and a birth on board the
Almia. The former was Gordon Drummond's charger, who
got down in his box and broke his back ; the latter, the
advent of a lamb, one of our sheep meant for the table having
become a mother. On the 2 1 st we had two burials — a corporal
of Coldstream Guards died of heart-disease, and a private of
ours of a sort of low fever. On the 23rd we arrived at Malta,
and, though I had been rather a shy feeder on board, I made
up for it by a good dinner on shore.

' We found Colonel Haygarth, who was so fearfully wounded
at Alma, and, fortunately for him, he had been taken straight
to Malta and is getting on well ; he hopes to be able to get
home in May. Also our good friend Dr. Bostock, who had
been very seedy, but is now recovering. We looked up all
our old friends, and started again the next day, and had a
very prosperous and quick passage, and on the 27th we were
in the Sea of Marmora.'

Quoting again from my letters I find I wrote : ' The shores
of the Dardanelles are beautifully green ; but so are the
Wiltshire Downs by this time, I expect. The islands dotted

132 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

about the Archipelago are pretty enough, too ; but I would
sooner see Ash Wood,i with the rabbits cutting about on its
broad rides, than all the Tenedoses and Plains of Troy, with
Byron's Sestos and Abydos throw^n in ; for all those places of
ancient renown sink into insignificance when one's mind looks
forward to the Plains of Balaclava and the Yalley of the
Tchernaya, amongst w^hich we ought to be soon. On the 28th
we arrived early at Constantinople, and about six Hepburn
and I went ashore at Pera, and, after a lot of haggling, bought
a couple of ponies and got them on board all right, and started
for the Crimea.

' On the 30th we anchored off Kamiech, where we had to
wait till the wind dropped, as the entrance to Balaclava
Harbour is very narrow and not safe to try for, except in
smooth water. Maxse, of the Agamemnon, came on board
and told us that he had dined with Hughie Drummond, of our
battalion, the other day, and had " the best of everything " —
not bad news for us ! On May 2nd we steamed into Balaclava
Harbour, and no sooner had w^e taken up our berth than a lot
of old mates came rushing down to see us. It was like getting
home almost — in fact I felt as if I had a home at both ends.
We disembarked and joined our old battalion, who were
encamped on a steep rocky hill about a mile from the harbour,
and wonderful glad I was to join my old comrades again ;
though it was sad indeed to miss so many of those who' had
been with us at the Alma ; in fact there were not more than
300 fit for duty out of the 800 we had started with from
England the spring before.'

Our battalion, we found, had been relieved from duty in the
trenches, and had been marched dow^n to our present position
over Balaclava, to give the men a rest, and much they needed
it. I soon landed my pony, and it tui^ned out a very simple
process, for he w^as slung over the side of the ship, then tipped
into the water and left to swim ashore. I clapped a saddle on
his back and rode him up to camp. I quite forgot to say that
I had brought out a black retriever with me, called ' Punch,'
and a great comfort he was to me. Hepburn and I took
possession of a hut lately occupied by some of the Highlanders,
who now formed part of an expedition of a mixed force of
about fourteen thousand men, French and English, who were
embarked on board ship with the intention of attacking
Kertch. To quote again from letters :

' From our camp we have a splendid view over the whole

^ A favourite covert at Everleigh.

JERRY GOODLAKE, V.C 133

plain of Balaclava, where the memorable cavalry charge took
place on the 26th of last October, and across the Yalley of the
Tchernaya to Canrobert's Hill, whence we can see the white
puffs of smoke from the Russian battery opposite to our
Inkerman picquets, and we can hear all night and day the big
guns booming in the distance ; also, when nature is at its
stillest, the roll of musketry.

* On dit the French advance trench is only about one
hundred yards olf the Mamelon, and our advanced attack
about one hundred and twenty yards from the Kedan. Our
77th Regiment took some rifle-pits one night and held them,
though the French had lost them six times after taking them.
Our fellows in the front had a very rough night. Five officers
killed, Curtis (46th) and Carter (Engineers) both killed by
one round-shot as four or five of them were talking together
in a group. Poor little Lempriere, whom I had met when
staying with the Scots at Rotherfield, was also killed,'

Quoting again from a later letter home : ' I dined last night
with my good old pal Jerry Goodlake, and met John Adair
there. Jerry is very fi.t and has done a lot of hard work, and
never has been off duty a day. He had charge of the sharp-
shooters soon after the army took up its position in front of
Sebastopol the beginning of last October, and for distinguished
bravery was given the Victoria Cross.

' I like the life out here much ; I dine out most nights with
different pals. We have now got our kitchen built, and last
night had a guest to dinner, Francis Baring, who has been on
duty right through the winter and looks well on it. Our
menu not bad — carrot soup (potted), mutton pudding, salad of
dandelion leaves, mashed potatoes, and marmalade roly-poly.
What can a man want more 1 Potatoes have been very dear
— twenty-one shillings a hundredweight ! '

Seeing that I can only get forty shillings a ton now, I think
my readers will allow that prices ran a trifle high in the
Crimea at that time. But let me add a few more extracts
from my letters :

' I rode up to the front yesterday to have a peep at Sebas-
topol and its fortresses, the English and French camps, and
miles of parallels and trenches : wonderfully interesting it
was ; and from the top of a house called Maison d' Eau I had
a perfect view with my glass of the French position and our
left attack. I lunched on my way with Nigel Kingscote, who
is on Lord Raglan's staff and as fat as butter. I dined with
Neville, and Charley Keith, A.D.C. to Sir R. England, and

134 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

rode back with George Gordon and Henry de Bathe at night.
The expedition to Kertch is a complete fiasco ; it seems,
Canrobert is an old goose, for when our combined fleet, with
15,000 men on board, were close to Kertch, a gunboat was
sent after them, and the expedition was ordered to return
immediately. On dit Lord Kaglan is awfully annoyed about
it, and both soldiers and sailors are beside themselves with
rage. Lord Eaglan can do nothing, as he has only 20,000
English, and Canrobert has 100,000 French; and so our good
old Commander has to play second fiddle. I have made a bit
of a garden round our hut and sown the seeds I brought out
with me. The last mail brought the Gazette, in which I am
made a Brevet Major — good luck for me ! — but I feel I have
scarcely earned it. It sounds quite familiar being called
Major, having enjoyed that title amongst the small fry at
home, ever since my brother joined me at Eton.

' The " Huskies " make constant sorties now, but get terribly
cut up and hurry back to cover again. One of the prisoners
taken the other night said they were literally soaked with
raki, and then told they were going against the French, but,
to their terror, they found themselves opposite our works
and bolted at once. The French fire rounds and rounds of
musketry at the least movement of the "Ruskies" at long
range ; but our fellows wait till they are within 30 or 40
yards and then let them have it bang in the eye ! Four thou-
sand " Sardines "1 under the command of General ^ "Marma-
lade " (as the men put it), have just arrived, and the Allies
will soon have 200,000 men here of all sorts, and we shall
look poor fools if we can't do something with such a
force.

' If you have a chance, send me out a round of boiled beef
in tin. Old Soyer, the French cook, has just come out, and I
am going to meet him at dinner at Billy Bussell's, the Times
correspondent. I have just had a bit of very bad luck — my
stupid soldier-servant gave my pony its water too soon after
his feed of barley, and inflammation, alias fermentation, set
in, and he is dead and buried, and I shall have a job to get
another. I forgot to tell you that I had found my old white
mule, " Alexander " (that I bought at Malta last April), in
the Commissariat lines. I have got him back, and very useful
he is.'

In another letter I find that I wrote : ' My garden is the
admiration and envy of all beholders, and my hens lay nicely.

■^ Sardinian troops. - General La Marmora.

QUAIL-SHOOTING IN THE CRIMEA. 135

"We are all pleased to hear that Canrobert is superseded by
Marshal Pelissier — a good rattling sort of chap, they say —
and more Turks and " Sardines " are constantly arriving. We
had some capital games on the Queen's Birthday. I won two
foot-races ; but, the ground being very hard, uneven, and
down-hill, I lost the skin off my toes. The 12th Lancers have
just arrived from India, and I bought a capital pony of
Colonel Fyler, who commands them. He gave <£10 for the
pony at Cairo ; I gave him £40 for him — not a bad profit !
He had only been used for carrying w^ater-barrels, but as he
has a nice mouth, and very sensible, I shall soon make a nice
hack of him. I call him " Jimmy." I dined with the 5th
Dragoon Guards last night and met two old Eton mates, Joey
Halford and Hely Hutchinson, and we had a cheery evening.
The second expedition to Kertch has been quite a success, as
we easily occupied that town, took over 50 big guns, a large
amount of stores, and lost very few men.

' Our advanced trenches are now getting very near those of
the " Ruskies," and they say our men make miniature shells
by filling soda-water bottles with powder and small stones,
then stick a fuse through the cork, and light it up and thi'ow
it across into the enemy's advanced works. How's that for
mimic w^arfare 1 We keej) losing a few men of cholera and
low fever, and, as no parson could be found, the other day I
had to read the burial-service over one of our young soldiers
that came out in our draft in the Alma.

' I often go out in the very early morning with my dog and
gun, and have had fair sport with some nice fat little quail
who arrive here during the night, on their flight from Asia
Minor northwards, and it often happens that some of the
French soldiers are out on the same job ; they melt and roll
out their bullets, and then cut them into small tiny squares,
as they cannot afford to buy shot. The peculiar noise which
these angular atoms make when leaving the muzzle of their
rifles is very peculiar, and at no other game-shooting have I
laughed as much. My faithful Punch ranges about and puts
up a quail. I knock him down ; but perhaps two or three
red-breeched Frenchmen have filled at the same object, and
rush forward to claim the savoury morsel. But Punch is
always there first, picks u-p the little bird, and gallops back to
me with it ; when I at once put it in my haversack, and
perhaps the Gaul don't talk quick over it ! " Mais c'est moi qui
a tue cet gibier, ahsolument c'est d, moil" I say : ^' Boucement,
mes amis ; soyez tranquille. C'est le mien, et il est dans ma

136 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

2)oche / " I don't know a more delicious breakfast than two
or three real fat little quails when, daintily picked, trussed
and covered with a vine-leaf, they are kept moving in the
frying-pan over the fii'e, floating about in a gravy of fat from
the salt pork !

' I must give you a specimen of the crude state of the Tele-
graph Department out here. A telegram, directed to " Captain
Ashley, Grenadier Guards," was brought to me, and it read
thus : " Voire jjere est mort.^^ This announcement, of course,
startled me not a little. I at once jumped on my pony and
galloped up to Head-quarters, to see if I could learn any par-
ticulars, and, if the news proved true, to ask for leave to go
home. I found the mail had just come in, and, fortunately,
the telegram had taken as long to arrive as the newspapers,
in one of which I found the death of Ashley Ponsonby's father
announced, which, of course, set my mind at rest ; but I should
like to have had five minutes with that telegraph clerk who
had coolly left out "Ponsonby" altogether. I learnt that A.
Ponsonby of the Grenadiers had started from England, so that
this telegram had been sent after him. It was a nice, reliable
way of transmitting news, wasn't it ? '

Early in June we got the news that Wild Dayrell had won
the Derby. (How well I recollect it, even at this length of
time afterwards !) I had taken two hundred pounds to five
about him when he was a two-year-old (possibly the reader
may remember how, in a former chapter, I mentioned his
breaking loose during exercise at Littlecote), and I felt highly
delighted. I rode up to the front, and lunched with the 88th
Regiment — a very cheery lot of fellows, and one of the best of
them was ' Crow ' Corbett, a very great pal of mine. He was
also in high glee, as he had won about two hundred over the
race. After luncheon we were having a smoke and chat to-
gether, when orders arrived that a storming-party was to be
sent into the trenches that night, to take the ' Quarries ' — an
excavated bit of ground lying midway between our advanced
attack and the Pvedan — which was now held by the enemy,
and from which spot their riflemen had been harassing our
men somewhat severely.

Poor Corbett was detailed as one of the storming-party, and
I think I never saw so sudden a change come over a brave
man. He took me on one side and said : ' I feel a strong
presentiment that I shall be killed before morning. Will you
take care of my Derby winnings when they arrive ^ ' I told
him that the Paymaster of his regiment had better look after

ATTACK ON THE MAMELON. 137

that, and tried all I knew to cheer him up ; but all to no pur-
pose, and when the party fell in, and he was marching off
with them, he stopped a moment to wring my hand, and we
wished each other good luck and good-bye ; for he again said
that he was firmly convinced that he should not return alive,
and, though I took care not to let him see it, I felt grave mis-
givings as to our ever meeting again in this planet. As a
matter of fact we never did.

When the party were out of sight I rode over to watch the
attack that the French were to make on the Mamelon, and,
tethering my pony, I walked up to the brow of a small hill,
from which I could see the Mamelon and its embrasures quite
nicely. It was a lovely still evening I remember, and appa-
rently both besieged and besiegers w^ere for the time being
enjoying repose ; when, suddenly, up went a rocket, and from
their advanced trenches out swarmed the French Zouaves and
ran up the hill, on the crown of which the Mamelon was situ-
ated ; and before the ' Buskies ' were aware of the presence of
their foes, many of the Zouaves were already inside the huge
earthwork, and, with a splendid dash, drove the enemy out
towards the town. Had their supports shown the same pluck
and daring, the Zouaves would have held the fort ; but the
latter were too impetuous, and, rushing right through the
Mamelon, they encountered a host of Russian infantry and
were driven back on their supports, who gave way and made
for the cover of their trenches, a large proportion of them
being knocked over in their hasty retreat ; but, fortunately,
the Zouaves had spiked many of the Russian guns, or very
few of those gallant Frenchmen would have been left
alive.

Whilst I was lying down w^atching these operations, one of
our navvies (a number of whom had been sent out from
England to make the railway from Balaclava to the front) was
standing bolt upright, staring about him, not a hundred yards
from where I was lying, and I had already shouted out to him
more than once to lie down, as many of the ships and harbour
forts had opened fire from their big guns, so that the round-
shot came bounding and ricochetting along far behind where
we were ; but the foolhardy fellow took no notice of my re-
monstrances, and presently down he flopped quick enough,
with, I believe, a broken back. Some of his mates came up
and carried him off, and I thought it was about time to get
my pony and make tracks for safer quarters ; but before I
reached my peaceful hut I heard the news that our men had

138 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

taken the ' Quarries ' (or ' Ovens/ as they were sometimes
called), and that the 88th had suffered severely. Alas ! poor
Corbett's presentiment of coming ill had been realized, for he
was dead.

The next day, June the 8th, I heard that a flag of truce was
hoisted, so that both the Allies and the Russians might carry
off their wounded and bury the dead. I rode up to camp,
therefore, and walked to the Mamelon, and a truly terrible
sight that hill-side presented ; for the slaughter had been
appalling, and the French lay very thick on the ground, the
' E-uskies ' having slated them fearfully on their retreat after
the first attack on the fort. However, they had accounted for
a good many of the enemy, and during the night had again
assaulted, and this time retained possession of, this great
earthwork.

The ambulance corps of both sides were very busy removing
the wounded to the hospitals and collecting the dead for burial.
I walked on thi^ough the Mamelon, and out on the other side
towards the Round Tower or Malakhoff, finally reaching the
line of Russian sentries, beyond which we were not allowed to
pass. Lots of officers of both sides were chatting away freely
to each other, but I did not feel that way inclined. I fancied
that the ' Ruskies ' looked a bit down on their luck, but the
officers were very smartly got up, with their white gloves and
polished boots. I then wandered back to the Mamelon, and a
wonderful work it was, the inside of it divided into numerous
small squares by traverses of gabions filled with earth, so that
if a shell pitched into one division the men employed there
could have run round into the next compartment out of harm's
way (providing that the fuse was long enough). There were
also bomb-proof shelters for the guuners, and bullet-proof
screens, made of enormously thick rope, hanging inside the
embrasures.

As soon as the flag of truce was hauled down, both sides
began firing away again right merrily as before. On my way
home I looked in at the camp of the 88th, and leai-ned that, out
of the nine officers that regiment sent into the trenches the night
of the attack on the ' Quarries,' three were killed and four
wounded, among the former being poor Corbett, who was shot
through the forehead while leading on his men to the attack ;
so he did not suffer any pain, poor fellow. His servant gave
me his master's flask, and I have it now, and treasure it as a
memento of one of the cheeriest and best of pals.

On June the 16th the Brigade of Guards marched up from

UNSUCCESSFUL ATTACK ON THE REDAN. 139

Balaclava to the front, to be ready for the assault on the Redan,
and on the morning of the 18th we paraded at 3 a.m., and
marched to the top of Picquet-House Hill, from whence we had
a splendid view of the town and the unsuccessful attack. We
were in support and hardly under fire. As soon as we reached
the ground we were ordered to occupy, we loaded our rifles and
piled arms ; we then built uj) little walls of stones to protect
us — as we lay down under their shelter — from any stray bullets
that now and again came whistling over us. The smoke from
the big guns of both sides considerably obscured our view of
what was going on ; but by 9 a.m. we knew that the English
attack on the Redan had been repulsed, and about 10 a.m. we
were marched back to camp, all of us being very depressed,
and the men real mad at not having had a chance of taking
any part in the morning's work.

Every mother's son of our battalion gave it out as certain
that, if we had only been allowed to try, we could have driven
the ' Ruskies ' into the harbour. My own candid opinion is
that the dual command was the principal cause of our failure ;
for, had the Redan been well shelled before the assault was
made, the large bodies of Russian infantry could not have been
concentrated in that huge fortress. They say that there were
eight thousand Russians in and about the Redan that day, and
as our storming-party was under five hundred, they had but
little chance of carrying — let alone holding — the fort. Many
officers were killed and wounded ; amongst the former was
Colonel Yea of the 7th. No better soldier ever existed ; he
had done a lot of hard work with his regiment and was
universally beloved and respected.

That evening the Brigade had to find two thousand men for
the trenches ; but it did not take me, which was luck, as they
had a very harassing time of it, and several were wounded.
As I was now a field officer, and subalterns were more wanted
in the trenches, Lord Pvokeby sent me down to take command
of the Brigade Hospitals at Balaclava, and I relieved Buckley,
who had been kept in charge there ; so I found myself once
more in my comfortable hut ; but the duty was a very depress-
ing one, as I had constantly to attend to the wants of the
convalescents, sick, and dying, my mornings being pretty well
taken ujd in writing letters home to the friends and sweethearts
of those j3oor fellows, many of whom would never see their
homes or the faces of their loved ones again.

One morning my servant came and woke me by imploring
me to get up and drive away an Arab stallion belonging to the

I40 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

lOth Hussars, who had got loose from their lines and was
worrying my pony who was hobbled close to my hut. As I
found stones perfectly ineffectual in driving him off, I got
my gun, which was only loaded with dust-shot for quail, and
thought I would pepper him at about 40 yards ; so I aimed at
his tail and ' let go,' when, to my amazement, down he sat on
his quarters and blood rushed from his mouth and nostrils : so
I put the other barrel to his head and finished him off out of
his misery. I then discovered that he was branded on his off
fore foot, and, with the aid of some of the convalescents, I soon
got him under ground ; but he was scarcely well out of sight
when up rode a trooper of the 10th Hussars, inquiring if one
of their missing horses had been seen that way. But the men
were staunch, and I felt much relieved when the said trooper
rode off to continue his search elsewhere ; for I should have
had to pay £40 for my clumsy shot if the crime had been
brought home to me. I never heard that the gallant Hussar
succeeded in finding his missing horse.

On the 28th of June Lord Raglan died, and they say that
mental anxiety killed that good old gentleman quite as much
as any bodily ailments he may have suffered from. The dual
command had been anything but a bed of roses, and it was
generally supposed that he had but a rough time of it with the
French Marshals. At Lord Eaglan's death he was succeeded
in the command by General Simpson.

One morning I rode out near the cliff and monastery over-
looking the Black Sea. I started and bowled over a nice
leveret, and Punch was immensely pleased at retrieving the
first ' bit of fur ' I had come across in these diggings since my
arrival.

This way of spending my spare time I enjoyed far more than
any amount of reading, though plenty went in for literature :
for instance, one of our young doctors was one morning
reading a book called ' More AYorlds than One,' and puzzling
his head as to whether the sun and moon were inhabited.
When I asked him what it mattered to him one way or the
other, he shut up ; and I told him that I thought he had far
better be employing himself by killing some of the hosts of
flies which worried our poor sick fellows in the hospitals, and
I hope he took my advice.

I had ridden down to Kamiesch (the French port) and
bought several yards of muslin wherewith to keep the flies off
the faces of the invalids, and for this little act of attention
they were most grateful. After about a month's work in and

I AM TAKEN WITH LOW FEVER. 141

out of the hospital I was taken with low fever, and the doctors
ordered me off to the Sanatorium, on the other side of Balaclava
Harbour. With great difficulty I mounted my white mule,
Alexander, and rode over. I was put into a comfortable bed
in a long hut overlooking the Black Sea, and a kind nurse.
Miss Shaw Stewart, sister to ' Beetroot Bill ' (so called from
his high complexion) in my battalion, brought me a bottle of
Eau-de-Cologne, which was delicious, and next day some port
wine, which, if anything, I liked even better than the scent. I
soon rallied, and so did my mate, who was in the next cot to
me, Luard of the 77th, and we spent some pleasant hours
sitting out on the clilf , with the pure breeze from the sea to
cool us, and a lovely view to interest us ; besides watching the
numerous transports continually arriving, loaded with men and
material, from England and Italy. My servant brought me
over a lot of eggs, laid by my good-natured hens, and I made
some bread-and-butter puddings, the composition of which quite
astonished the good nurses when I asked to have them baked.
I had to put eighteen eggs in one pudding, as milk was not to
be had.

After seventeen days I was declared convalescent, and rode
back to my hut again, finding my garden in fair order, and the
radishes just fit for drawing. I was much grieved to hear of
the death of Hely Hiitchinson of the 13th. He had a touch
of fever and cholera, and was sent down to Scutari, but never
rallied. He was at Eton with me, and afterwards in Switzer-
land ; he was a wonderful good-looking, nice chap ; but,
cui'iously enough, had all along a strong feeling that he would
never return home again, Teddy Wynne,^ of the Grenadiers,
brought me up a fine box of good things from home, he having
just arrived from England. I gave a dinner-party on the
strength of it. Hammer Lane, Jerry Goodlake, and three
others enjoyed the feast much.

I had a nasty accident soon after this, which might have
turned out a serious one. I had ridden down to the harbour,
and was returning with a fine turbot hanging from my saddle,
and was in the act of turning round to whistle to my dog, when
I felt something pressing against my chest, and, looking round,
I perceived that some rafters which were loaded askew upon a
mule cart (coming in the opposite direction) were pushing me
out of the saddle. My pony jumped forwards, and I tumbled
backwards ; when, before I knew where I was, the wheel of
the heavily laden cart went bang over both my feet ; but,

^ Since dead, I regret to say. — Editok.

142 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

strange to relate, beyond a tingling sensation in those extremi-
ties, i was not a bit hurt. I think it must have been the
thick soles of my boots that saved me. I was too pleased to
find that I had escaped injury to pitch into the driver, whose
only excuse was, ' These stubborn brutes of mules were in fault,
not me.'

143

CHAPTER XIY.

Deatli of Hiigliie Drummond — Battle of Tcliernaya — Cricket at the Front
— AVe give a Dinner-party — Shooting in Baidar Valley — Bat Buckley
Killed — Grand Assault — Knssians Evacuate Town — What I saw there
— Road-making — Anniversary of Alma — Ripon Transport arrived with
Colonel Berkeley — Knollys and Gipps — Match with Slade — A Wrangle
— Building Mess Hut — My Leg in Difficulties — -My Sardinian Charger
— Ennismore and Eraser arrive 27th of October — Explosion of the
Siege-train Store — Visit the Scene the next Day — Steeplechases — I
tackle Billy Russell — Urgent Private Affairs — Lord Rokeby to Dinner
— Huts blown down by the High Winds — Bad going from Hut to Hut
— A Path m Prospect.

On the night of the 13th of August — the bombardment
being in full swing — poor dear Hughie Drummond, our
Adjutant, was killed in the trenches by a shell. Henry
Armytage (Coldstream Guards) was standing talking to him
when the shell came hissing towards them. ' Armit ' ran out
of the way, put poor Hughie seems to have run right under
it, and, as bad luck would have it, the missile burst just over
him and killed him. It was too truly a case of ' one shall be
taken, the other left.' He was a universal favourite with
both officers and men, and a cheerier comrade never lived.
He had been all through the hard work, had his horse shot
under him at Alma, and was severely wounded at Inkerman ;
we buried him on the 14th in the cemetery at Cathcart's Hill,
where so many brave hearts are mouldering side by side. I
was one of his pall-bearers. Bob Lindsay took his place as
adjutant, and George Gordon of ours succeeded ' Bob ' on
General Simpson's staff.

On the morning of the 16th, a point de jour (as a Zouave
described it to me), the French and Sardinians in the Yalley
of the Tchernaya were suddenly attacked by large masses of
' Ruskies,' who had crossed the plain from 'Mackenzie's
Farm ' during the night, and, favoured by a thick mist, they
advanced in column — their only chance, as the rearmost com-
panies in this formation shove the foremost ones along; a

144 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

very different style of proceeding to our advance in line at
the Alma. They had crossed over the Tchernaya before the
French were ready for them ; but, fortunately, there were two
regiments of those splendid Zouaves opposite the bridge over
the river, and w^ith great coolness they held their fire until
the enemy were within short range, and then they gave them
such a warm reception, aided by a flank fire from the ' Sar-
dines,' that in less than half-an-hour the ' Huskies ' broke and
turned tail. In their retreat across the river and aqueduct
they got most aw-f ully mauled ; the French guns, assisted by
one of our field-batteries with tw^o 32-pounders, playing on
their retreating masses with terrible effect for the greater
part of two miles ; finishing up by pitching some rockets into
their columns at an immense distance. I believe there were
about sixty thousand Russians on the plain, and from fifteen
to twenty thousand of them engaged.

Though not above two miles from my hut, I had slept
soundly through the cannonade till close on 7 a.m., when I
ran up to the top of the hill and discovered what a nice game
of romps was going on in the valley : so I got my breakfast
(for natui-e abhors a vacuum) and rode down just as the fight
was over, and, having a bottle of brandy in my haversack, the
Zouaves soon became ' very fond,' and between them and the
wounded it quickly disappeared. The French soldiers were
busily employed in fishing the dead ' Ruskies ' out of the
aqueduct, and searching for spoil ; but the poor things had
little on them save the amulets Avhich most of them wore
round their necks. An old Ptussian Colonel whom I found
badly wounded in the shoulder, and to whom I gave a light
for his pipe, insisted on my having fii'st draw at it, remarking
that ' the French, English, and Fvussians were all Christians
and not half bad fellows ; but he couldn't abide the Turks.'

I had crossed the Tchernaya, and was allowing my pony to
have a good graze on the rich grass which abounded in the
valley (and was neutral ground) while I ate my biscuit and
cheese, when, suddenly, I was rudely disturbed by some big
shot and shell coming w^hizzing over me, aimed by the ' Rus-
kies ' at the bridge over which the French were busily employed
w^ith their ambulance mules, conveying the wounded to their
hospitals ; but the infatuated Russians would not allow them
to do so undisturbed, so I caught my pony and galloped across
a ford and up a hill out of range. Jerry Goodlake told me
afterwards that he had been in the thick of the fight and had
a very narrow escape, a bullet having pierced his coat. He

'MOTHER SEA COAL.' 145

said that the French — especially the Zouaves — had fought real
well, and also the ' Sardines/

To vary the entertainment, on the 17th we played a cricket-
match, ' The Guards ' against the ' Leg of Mutton Club,' the
latter consisting of a medley of all sorts of regiments. Our
eleven was principally composed of the following : Buckley,
Mike Heneage, Seymour Blane, Goodlake, Harvey Tower,
Crawley, two Lambtons, and myself. We had a capital lunch
on the ground, provided by an old black woman who kept a
sort of eating-house on the heights, and rejoiced in the appro-
priate and endearing title of ' Mother Sea Coal,' a native of
Jamaica, and frightful to a degree, but a very clever ' doctress '
on (lit.

On the 18th a flag of truce was hoisted and the ' Ruskies '
came down in large numbers to bury their dead, and as the
grass was just about fit to cut for hay, the mounted Cossacks
spread all over the meadows, sticking a lance into the ground
wherever they found a dead body ; while the ambulance corps
collected and buried all they found. I wandered away from
this ghastly scene and rode down to the river-side, where I
spotted several places resorted to by wild-duck when feeding,
and profited by the knowledge so acquired on several occasions
later on. Archie Campbell (now Lord Blythswood) of ours
was hit in the trenches by a bit of shell on the night of the
22nd ; but, though it damaged his flask and knocked all the
wind out of his body, he was, fortunately, not much hurt.

In an extract from a letter home at this time I find a
prognostication which was shortly fulfilled — viz., 'It won't be
long before we make the final assault on the doomed ^ town,
and we all fancy that the " Huskies " are preparing to bolt ;
for they have constructed a bridge across the harbour which
looks as if they meant to exchange the hot fire of the south for
the cool breezes of the north side, and they will have to do it
" nilly, willy " within a fortnight sure, and so hopes all of us.
I hear there is a parcel come out for me in the Retriever ; but
I shall have to Avait till five thousand shells are taken out of
her hold before I can get at it. How pleased the " Ruskies "
would be if they only knew that she had arrived quite safe ! '

If I remember rightly, there were a lot of casualties in the
trenches about this time ; for I see (on reference to my notes)
that Colonel P. Seymour was hit on the head by a fragment

^ Sir John's letters are carefully copied word for word, though a mistake
might arise in the spelKng of this expression ; however, I trust I have
read the word aright. — Editor.

146 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

of shell and had to be sent home. Jim Farquharson was shot
in the hand. Colonel "Walker also got a good bump on the
head from a piece of shell. Sir Henry de Bathe commanded
the battalion at this period.

I used to go out with my gun and shoot a fair lot of quail,
which I always sent round to my mates at the front. I
recollect giving a dinner on the 30th of August to Dick Glyn,
Coney, and Robertson, all of whom belonged to the 1st Koyal
Dragoons, and a very cheery evening we had. To add to our
enjoyment some good chap had sent me out a box of A 1
cigars, and I can tell you that they were appreciated at their
full value.

I was cantering home after a day's sport in the Baidar
Valley a few days later, with a loose rein, my gun over my
shoulder and a pipe in my mouth, when my pony put his foot
on a rolling stone and came down a cracker, shooting me over
his head ; but no harm came of it, barring a chipped knee
apiece, and my 'baccy never went out during the operation, nor
did my gun go oU on its own account. This was by no
manner of means the first cropper that I got from much
the same cause.

In a subsequent letter home I find the following : ' Poor
Bat Buckley of ours was shot in the advanced sap on the night
of the 6th of September; he and Billy Scarlett had agreed,
instead of going to visit the sentries every alternate hour, that
each should take two hours' rest, and then go the rounds for
the following two hours. Now, to show what luck there is in
arrangements, even of this kind, it was properly Scarlett's turn
to go the rounds at the very time that Buckley was killed. A
sergeant and a file of men accom]3anied him, and some "Huskies"
must have crept out and shot Buckley in the back. The men
carried him back to the trenches, but he died almost
immediately. Poor old Buck was a great pal of mine, and
only lately we had been playing several cricket-matches
together, and not long ago I ran against him, and beat him in
a 100 yards race. He had been all through the thick of it,
and was hit at Alma. Had I not been made a field ofiicer by
brevet I should not have relieved him off hospital duty, and
the odds are that he would have been safe down here and I
should have been killed in his place. We buried him the next
day, and, poor fellow ! he lies in the best of company, between
Charley Seymour (killed at Inkerman) and Hughie Drummond.

' That same night one of our shells, or a rocket, set fii-e to a
fifty-gun frigate in the harbour, and with great satisfaction I

RUSSIAN BARBARITY TOWARDS WOUNDED. 147

watcliecl the flames breaking out of her port-holes, and as they
got heated her guns went off one by one, and some chap said,
" It is as good as the fireworks at Yauxhall, only there's no
explosion, and I expect that's why we're let ofl: paying the usual
shilling for admission to the show." It is supposed that the
sailors must have flooded the magazines as soon as their ship
caught fire.' In another letter I find :

' On the 8th of September the assault took place, and the
Brigade to which I belonged was in reserve in the shelter of
the central ravine. The Second Division was ordered to assault,
under General Markham. Our Division has found the duties
for the trenches for thirty-six hours consecutively, and arduous
work it has been. Sad and humiliating as it is to relate, I am
obliged to mention that our men once more failed in the attempt
to capture the Eedan, and we again lost a lot of ofiicers and
men. Fortunately, the " Ruskies " made up their minds that
the south wside was getting too hot for them, and during the
night they vacated all their works, and retired across the
bridge to the north side. They blew up all their forts and
sank their remaining ships in the harbour.'

There were some terrible sights in the town, and in one
hospital, computed to hold two thousand men, the dead were
still lying in their beds, and some of the wounded who had
crawled out — probably in search of food or water — had died on
the floor. One of our sergeants, who had been taken prisoner
a few days previously and who had been wounded, was found
dead amongst a number of defunct and dying ' Huskies,'

It is said that when the Russians decided on evacuating
their position, they pulled all their wounded together, and
placed them in a heap on the to23 of one of their mines, which
they promptly exploded, and so finished the sufferings of their
own men and several of our poor comrades. There are not
wanting plenty of proofs of their barbarity, not only to our
men but their own, but they would be out of place here. Poor
Yaughan of the 90th Regiment, who was in my remove at Eton,
was discovered in the town, and from pain and thirst he had
become a drivelling idiot.

The fii-st day that we were permitted to go into the evacuated
forts and dilapidated town, I explored that cussed old Redan,
and I well remember what a wonderful strong place I thought
it, and it was too, without any error. It had been a good
deal knocked about by our last bombardment, as well as from
the explosion of the powder-magazine by the ' Ruskies ' them-
selves. On getting into the town I found the whole place

148 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

overrun with Englisli and French soldiers, and I think that
they had pretty well cleared the ' decks.' Every church and
house had already been stripped of all the valuables that could
be carried away.

I discovered a few trophies, and I bought others from the
French soldiers ; but, sad to relate, I found on my return that
a cordon of sentries, and, bad luck to it ! a line of cavalry
vedettes, had carefully been drawn up between our camp and
the town, and as they had received strict orders that no man
was allowed to carry any sort of loot through their line, every-
thing was to be placed on an already large heap of trashy pieces
of loot, which treasures were to be sold to realize prize-money !
I recollect that I had been toiling along with some humbugging
curiosities, the real value of which was probably not more
than two pounds, but as trophies to send home they were worth
a lot. I tried all I knew to break through the line, but a
cavalry officer came riding down, and in a stern voice ordered
me to convey my treasures to the afore- mentioned heap of
rubbish. Of course, I pretended to obey, but in reality I hid
my best gems amongst some stones in the ' Quarries,' from
whence I had the audacity to fetch them away after dark. If
I had been caught in the act I suppose I should have been shot,
or rendered myself liable to that pleasing operation.

The docks were the only really fine works in the town of
Sebastopol, and they were assuredly splendid specimens of
engineering skill, being constructed of enormous blocks of
the very finest granite, which must have come from afar.

I believe that these very blocks of granite were broken up
and used by our engineers for road-making, &c. No doubt it
was a pity, but it was a token of our affectionate regard for
the ' Huskies.' After this we enjoyed a delicious calm, which
pervaded all ranks and arms ; no horrible trench work, and
comparatively no noise. We, of course, all hoped that the war
was at an end, but had to keep on the alert, not knowing what
the * Huskies ' might do next. We were employed in putting
our camps to rights, and making preparations for the winter.

On the 20th of September, the anniversary of the battle of
the Alma, Lord Rokeby distributed our medals. I remember
declaring that I should wear mine in ' bed clothes,' ' plain
clothes,' and ' livery.' On the evening of that 20th of
September, just twelve months after our glorious victory,
twenty-six of the Brigade sat down to an ' Alma ' dinner,
cooked by old Soyer, and served in a large marquee. I know
that I furnished a sheep (which I had wheedled out of a

THE POWERS AT HOME. 149

friendly skipper aboard ship) and ten brace of quail. We
spent a very jolly evening, the only drawback being that we
missed the faces of many an old comrade we should never see
more.

The army was at this time busily employed in making roads,
drains, &g., and as we had from nine to ten thousand men at
work every day, we soon altered the appearance of the plateau.
The wooden huts had begun to arrive in the various transports ;
but the dear old fogies at home excelled themselves in their
arrangements, by positively sending the sides of the huts in
one ship, and the roofs in another, so that if a ship went
wrong or was delayed, the materials contained in the other
vessel were absolutely useless. What an effort of genius it
would have been, if they could only have thought of packing
complete sections of a certain number of huts in the same
ship ! But there were no Board Schools in those days, and it is
funny to think, even, of the blunders that were then perpetrated
by those in authority at home.

An extraordinary accident happened to one of our regi-
mental sergeants ; he was running out of one of the huts and
hit his head so hard against the lintel of the doorway that he
dropped down insensible, and the blow brought on three
tremendously bad fits ; but he got all right again in time.

Daubeny, of the 62nd, and Bligh of the 41st, who dined
with me one night, were both in the storming of the Bedan,
and had some very narrow shaves. Several fellows got leave
to go home, and the Light Cavalry and a division of Infantry
embarked for Eupatoria this month (October), and I see by
my notes that ' the Rvpon arrived on the 4th, bringing, amongst
other ofiicers. Colonel Berkeley of ours (who had his leg
broken at Alma), young Knollys, and Gipps : the latter had
quite got over his wounds received at Inkerman, and he and
I came to the conclusion that, though rather risky, the neck
was the best place to be hit.'

It is rather a curious fact that Gipps and I, being such pals
as we were (and always have been), should have both been hit
in the neck. His bullet just grazed the spinal cord ; so
another half -inch would have settled him, certain ! I w^ent
on board the Rvpon, I remember, and collected quite a party
of mates to come to luncheon with me ; and the fellows at the
front, soon getting wind of the new arrivals, came down to
my place pretty thick, and smokes and drinks had to be found
for a goodly number. But, bless my soul ! what a real
pleasure it was to get a few pals together, and spend a cheery

I50 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

hour or two after the times we had had, the last few months,
pounding away at Sebastopol !

Six Cavalry chums and I spent a ' long and happy day ' on
the hills near Baidar. We got a lot of Tartars to beat the
woods; but the result was only middling — viz., a hare, a
woodcock, and a pigeon. However, I had taken a fair lunch
on a baggage pony, and we ' 'joyed ' oui'selves amazing ! And
I mind well that all the party came to eat the hare the
next day.i

The Kussians still kept firing shot and shell into the town,
but it was only occasionally, and I have always presumed that
their object was to get rid of their superfluous ammunition,
before leaving Sebastopol for good and all.

Prior to my departure from Balaclava Hill I had a match
with an old schoolfellow of mine. Bill Slade, of the ' Heavies.'
He was boasting one night after dinner that he had an
English cob that was wonderful fast and very handy. I at
once bet him a pony (<£25) that I could beat him, fifty yards
out and fifty in, round a post ; and from my hut on the hill
I often used to see my friend Bill, on the plain below,
practising his cob to jump off at score and turn sharp round
the post. Y'ou may be pretty sure that I did not omit to do
a little of the same practice with my two legs on my own
account ; but as I could see ' Sweet William's ' cob was
desperate handy, I did not feel by any means satisfied that I
had a dead ' snip.'

The day of the match arrived, and I duly appeared at the
Cavalry lines. Now, I had brought with me a pretty little
short stick, about two feet long, and the numerous company
were very curious to know why I wanted to carry this fragile
weapon. I fear I told a tiny fib, but only a white one, when
I said that I had discovered that I could run better with it.
Off we started, I on the inside, and when I arrived at the
turning-point I found the cob's nose close to my shoulder. I
knew, of course, that unless I cribbed a good bit at the turn
I should have no chance to win ; so I at once smote the cob
with my wand, twice, sharply on his nose, and out he went !
while I hurried home as fast as I could go. But just as I
was on the winning-post the cob swerved towards me and
knocked me over and over, and I was real lucky to get no
worse injury than a deep cut on my left knee. Then there
arose a tremendous wrangle. Bill claimed the stakes, saying

^ The Crimea must produce good hares for seven hungiy soldiers to dine
off one. — EDrroK.

BUILDING THE MESS HUT. 151

that I had no business to hit his cob, which, of course, I did
to save being knocked over at the turning-post, and I was
very wrathful at being nearly killed by the clumsy 'Heavy
Dragoon ' who could not steer his ' racer/ I was a pitiful
spectacle, as I bled freely from several cuts sustained in my
contact with the hard ground ; and I got me back to my hut,
had my knee bandaged and my leg put in splints.

Sweet William was very kind and unremitting in his
attention, coming up to see me most days. He tried his level
hardest to get the stakes, but I never parted, and it ended in
a draw, though I have never been quite satisfied with my
conduct on that occasion, and was terribly bored at the time
by having to limp about with a stiff leg for many days,

I had now a lot of work to do, for the hospital was all done
away with, and I moved up to the front. Gipps, Berkeley,
and I decided to mess together, and we settled that we would
build a mess hut, the material for which we proposed should
be brought out of SebastojDol. I had already bought a Maltese
cart and harness, and not long before, at the sale of one of
the Sardinian Generals' effects, I had bought a beautiful
cream-coloured charger with a lovely long mane and tail.
Poor dear ! he had never been yoked, and did not — at first —
take kindly to the degradation. However, when I had
trimmed his mane and cut his tail short, he, finding those
beautiful appendages gone, calmly submitted to his fate, and
many a trip that poor ' Sardine ' made to and from the town
in my Maltese cart.

As my knee was very bad I could not get about ; so my
two comrades rode into the town and selected some choice
rafters, flooring-boards, window and door frames, taking a
man or two with them to help dismantle a house or two in
order that they might obtain the necessary plant. I think,
when the ' Ruskies ' returned to Sebastopol, they must have
found their dilapidated homes in much the same state as
Layard did Babylon or Nineveh. Meantime I took charge
of the working-party at home.

At the risk of boring my readers I must give a few
particulars of the architecture of our hut; for I am vain
enough to believe that it was about the best of the various
designs in our camp. I can strongly recommend those who
may be similarly fixed as we were, upon a barren plateau
exposed to the biting blasts straight from the steppes of icy
Russia, to follow our plan. This was it. We first excavated
a hole in the ground about twelve feet square and four deep ;

152 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

we next built a wall two feet in height, and on this we placed
our four-sided roof sloping up to a point ; we then introduced
two windows in the wall and inserted a door, with three steps
down to it, with a porch on the outside. In the opposite
corner we built a fireplace and chimney, and lined the sides
of the hole with boards (a polished dado was not considered
necessary) ; we then added a boarded floor, a few shelves and
a cupboard in each of the spare corners, and there we were,
in a really snug, rain-and-snow-proof boudoir, free from all
draught, warm in winter, and cool in summer. We got hold
of most of the rough tools necessary, with the exception of a
trowel, which was unobtainable; so we had to plaster the
mortar between the stones with our hands. When our hut
was completed, we added a stable, and poultry-house thirty
feet long, twelve wide, and four deep, with rafters and old
sail-cloth by way of a roof.

About the 27th of October Ennismore and Alaistair Fraser
suddenly appeared on the scene, so that we were now very
strong in officers. As the Government huts came to hand
very slowly, the poor dear ' insects ' (as we styled the Ensigns)
constantly wished to borrow the ' Major's ' cart. I told them
' All right ; after it comes out of old " Bastopol " you are
welcome to it ; ' those most clamorous being ' little CriefE '
(Moncrieif ), ' the pallid one ' (Shaw Stewart, whose cheeks were
like a red cabbage in hue), and Gecmts hatailles (Knollys, of
small exterior, but grand in ideas). However, we very soon
all housed ourselves in some shape or form ; but my knee was
a terrible drawback, for I rather wanted an extra one than a
dummy, being so busy. We still slept in tents ; my cat and
tame owl (I forget if I mentioned these acquisitions to my
household) still blinked at each other from opposite sides of
the hut, and Punch (the retriever) was fairly disgusted at
my sedentary habits. At this period of affairs General Simp-
son left for England, and Codrington (of the Coldstreams)
took his place as Commander-in-Chief, at which we were all
pleased. His had been a wonderful lucky, as well as speedy,
rise, seeing that he only commanded a Brigade at the Alma.

On the 15th of November, while out with my dog and gun
in some rocky valleys near the Monastery, I suddenly heard a
most tremendous crash, and imagining it to be a terrihc
thunderstorm coming on, I placed my gun under shelter and
prepared for a deluge ; but as nothing came of it, and the sun
shone out, I caught my pony and rode up to some high ground,
from whence I saw a dense column of smoke rising in the

GALE OF NOVEMBER 14, 1854. 153

direction of Sebastopol, and on arriving in camp I discovered
that the whole of the siege-train stores of powder and shell
had blown up. The troops were all confined to camp, as it
was conjectured that the ' Huskies ' might wake up. Each
regiment provided a fatigue party of two hundred men to
assist in clearing the debris, wdiicli fact will afford some idea
of the magnitude of the disaster.

On the morning of the 16th I rode over to the scene of the
explosion. All the huts for four or five hundred yards were
levelled ; but, providentially, our English store of powder — no
great distance off — had not ignited, although the roof of the
old windmill in which it was kept was blown off. The French
suffered to the extent of about seventy men, and we lost about
thirty, and three ofiicers. This morning's scene is one to be
remembered ; for I found them very busy collecting arms and
legs of our Artillery-men as w^ell as the French, and dead
horses were lying about in all directions — altogether by no
means a pleasing sight. They said at the time that about one
hundred shells went up and exj)loded in the air at the same
moment ; and as one of the Frenchmen remarked to me, ' Les
Russes sont tres content,' and I presume it was to show their
joy that they loosed off every blessed gun that they possessed.

I have always been led to believe that the explosion was
caused by a soldier trying to extract the contents of a live
shell with his bayonet ; but he will never have the opportunity
of trying the experiment again, for he speedily went to that
land where 'toothpicks are no more.^ It was on the 14th of
the previous November, by the bye, that the fearful storm
raged which played such havoc among our transports and
other shipping outside Balaclava Harbour, and caused the loss
of so many tons of commissariat and hospital stores, which
were so urgently needed at that time. (November 14th,
1854.)

By this time most of the regimental huts had arrived ; but
the men preferred their old bell-tents, from all accounts,
saying, I believe, that ' they were so free from draught ! '
This I can easily understand ; as when fourteen or fifteen of
them were stretched out toes to pole they soon created a nice
stuffy ' bon chaud,' which the British private thoroughly
enjoys. A large officer's hut in compartments was erected
not far from our boudoir, and I transferred my goods and
chattels from my tent to this hut. Gipps and I shared a
compartment, and we got hold of a stove to help warm it ; but
we had no end of trouble to make it water-tight, although,

154 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

by the aid of old sacks and a lot of tar, we finally succeeded
fairly well.

I now quote an extract from one of my letters home, written
at this time : ' This morning I had determined to go to
Balaclava early, but my two subalterns being no use — one
on a court-martial, the other sick — I had to go with my
Company ball-firing, which took me from eight till eleven. I
then slipped, slid, and sloshed down into Balaclava, had three
chops with Jerry Goodlake at Kadikoi, and a glass of grog
with the skipper of a brig in the harbour, out of whom I got
a few little things I wanted, in the shape of a palm and
needles for sewing canvas, &c. I am about building a new
bed of rather more solid construction than my present one,
which will keep fresh for next spring's campaign. I then
rode back here, got on a fresh pony, and attended a meeting
of the stewards of our recent steeple-chases, where we settled
all accounts. By the bye, our races came ofi: last Monday.
"We, the stewards, had hard work to get the course clear of
stones and to make the fences, as the ground was five miles
from our camp, and situated betAveen the Monastery and the
French port of Kamiesch. "\Ye were very lucky in the day,
and all agreed the sport was first-rate.

' The three Generals, Pelissier, Marmora, and Codrington,
were present, and a good show of all ranks. I had very hard
work, as clerk of the course, to keep the track clear. Old
Brigadier Lawrenson, I7th Lancers (a beautiful horseman),
was winning his race easily, when his horse fell, but neither
were damaged. We got up a fiat race for the Frenchmen,
which was clipping fun ; they objected to the obstacles, so we
found them a flat half-mile, and the winner flogged his horse
long after he passed the post. I was afraid the roars of
laughter and chaff would have made their tempers rise ; but
no, they thought it was all right.

' We had a large dinner afterwards at a French restaurant
in rear of the Third Division. We luckily pitched on a
capital chairman. Colonel Daubeny, 55th, and when he retired
I took the chair, and improved the occasion by having a shy
at Billy Bussell (the Times correspondent), who was the only
civilian present, and who has been writing rather viciously
about fellows going home on urgent private affairs, and now,
behold ! he starts himself to-morrow for about tliree months,
so I had a pretty good chance at him. F'or if he — who has
had no hard work, and has picked up certainly au moins tln-ee
stone, and had got a fat pig in his sty, and a comfortable hut

THE CAMP A QUAGMIRE. 155

— must needs go home, how much more must fellows who
have been hard at work, and whose affairs really required
their presence ? At any rate, I put a cap on him which fitted
like wax. He said that he only meant his remarks in fun,
and that, like Joe Muggins' donkey, he had caught it over the
head and ears. I hoped that, like the donkey, he would mend
his ways on his return.

'We had some first-rate songs, and rode home to our
different camps in a deluge of rain. I think I never heard
" God Save tlie Queen " sung better, or more lustily. Billy
Kussell dined with Jerry Meyrick a night or two after, and
he says everybody chaff's him, and tells him it is quite time to
be off. I begin to think I shall be an orator, after all. It
will be a nice change for me, won't if? as a speech used to
affect me as much as sea-sickness. We had Lord Rokeby in
to dine with us three, and asked our Colonel and Dunkellin to
meet him ; and we gave him a deal better dinner than he ever
eats chez lui ; he talked for the million, and enjoyed himself
no end. It is pouring again in true Crimean form, and the
mud here is beyond belief. The whole camp, with the excep-
tion of the paved roads, is one quagmire, and as heavy as a
ploughed field ; but we are all very well and jolly now. The
wind is the only bore ; the hospital huts have been blown
down, and the Coldstream officers' hut went last night.

' Eraser, who lives in the corner compartment of our big hut,
declares one particular gust of wind which he heard coming
(he being a very heavy sleeper) lifted the roof up and down
like a bit of newspaper. Our hut is very comfortable and
snug, and it is admitted on all sides that the ' early rabbit '
style of architecture that I adopted is out-and-out the best ;
and now I must 23ut on my long boots and plunge across the
few yards that sejDarate our two premises. It's a curious
business wading from your sitting-room to your bedroom, but
we shall soon have a raised path. I call this a tidy letter.'

156

CHAPTEE XY.

Execute a Deal — j\Ien Frost-bitten — A Snow Eedonbt — Shooting in Baidar
Valley — A Flight of Turkey Bustards — Mincemeat in the ]\Iail-bag—
Theatricals in the Fourth Division — Colonel Foley does the Avalanche
Trick — The K'ew Year of 1S56 — Contemplated Trip with Saunders —
Ked Tape still in Stock — Leave Granted by Six Officials — Loss of our
Baggage-Horse — Forty Pounds to the Bad — Lazy Beaters — British
Argument— Return to Balaclava — Trophies sent Home in the 3Ietcor —
Eace-Meetings and 'Army Games' — TJieatricals in our Brigade— Srfton
and Malet — Armistice — Sports and Eaciug — Peace Declared — Grand
Review — Match against Time.

On December the 14th I did rather a good stroke of business
in the sale line, for a Maltese hut which I had ordered the
previous August made its appearance at last, and I borrowed
two carts and fetched it up to camp ; however, as Jerry
Meyrick offered me a tenner for my bargain, I let him
have it.

Hard frosts and cold winds had transformed the quagmire
outside our abode into solid foothold, and snow was no stranger
to us in those days which closed the not uneventful year
of 1855. I find that on the 29th of December we experienced
thirty-six degrees of frost, and on that same morning I
recollect finding six men of a working party, to which I was
attached, with their fingers frost-bitten. A man of the 31st
Begiment was frozen to death in one of the new ' Government
huts ' ! and our old Colonel (Walker) had his water-pillow
frozen into a block of ice under his head ! ! Our ' boudoir ' was
the only place in which the beer did not freeze and burst.

One day we made a huge snow redoubt, and it was
garrisoned by officers of the Grenadiers and stormed by those
of the Coldstreams and Scotch Fusiliers. Thrice was I sent a
regular cropper when I had just gained the top of the glacis,
but the fourth time I went slap in and we turned every man
of them out. I went one day with Goodlake to the Baidar
Yalley, and got a lot of Tartars to beat for us, but the bag was
only light. We had a windfall about this time, in the shape

THEATRICALS IN CAMP. 157

of a flock of turkey bustards, whicli alighted one evening, after
a long flight, close to the 93rd camp ; and we easily killed
twenty or thirty, and splendid eating they proved. I remember
that the ofiicers were just coming out of mess at the time the
birds dropped among the huts. On Christmas Day our mess
of three dined with F. Lambton and Tottenham, and they gave
us some real genuine mince-pies, the mincemeat having been
sent out in the ' mail-hag.'

The Fourth Division got up some capital theatricals, and
young Saunderson (son of Lady Maria) acted a female part
right well^ and much resembled his sister, whom I recollect as
a very pretty girl. The Grenadiers erected a large hut, and
all messed together, the whole thing being managed by Colonel
Foley (one of the best), who worked it admirably. One day
he had — ^what might have been — a very nasty fall, for, as he
was on the roof of the hut, clearing the snow oif, he slipped
and did the avalanche trick ; but as he was very light, and the
snow soft, he was not hurt. The next day, when I went to
inquire after him, I found him very busy tidying the hut and
dusting the furniture ! — a duty which he would allow no one
else to perform — and assuredly no paid domestic could have
done the work more efficiently.

Now for a new year. On January 9 th, 1856, I dined and
slept with a battery of Horse-Artillery, in which was one
Billy Saunders, a great pal of mine, I learned that he was
contemplating a trip to Asia Minor, on sport intent, and he
wanted a mate to go with him ; so next morning I rode oif to
Balaclava and found that a cattle steamer was starting for
Sinope on the morrow, and if I meant going I should have to
put in a good bit of work before I managed the necessary
leave. Off I went to the front, and got my leave approved
and signed by no less than six swells — viz., our Colonel,
Brigadier, and General of Division, then the Military Secretary,
Quartermaster-General, and Adjutant-General — thus clearly
demonstrating that we had not left the ivhole hall of red tape
in England. "Well, I hustled it all through in two hours,
and, having packed up my kit, consisting of my roUed-up bed,
india-rubber tub, small l3ullock-trunk, gun and revolvers, a
nice lot of ammunition, and the trusty Punch, I embarked on
the following morning on board a nasty, dirty, narrow, little
screw-steamer, and started, with Bill Saunders and his servant,
for a thirty-hours' passage across the Black Sea.

It blew above a bit during the transit, and with me it was,
of course, a case of sicik) transit without the gloria rtiundi ;

158 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

but we got to Sinope at last, and had some rough quarters
while there, for the very hungriest and most bloodthirsty vermin
infested pretty nearly every house. The first morning, we
rode out to some woods about five miles from the town, and as
I was passing through a very narrow street I found the way
blockaded by two mules, both suif ering from the very worst
form of glanders. I at once loaded both barrels of my gun
and shot them dead, right and left, and at night when
we returned by the same road they were still lying where
they fell.

On getting into the country we came across a sort of ranclie,
where cattle, horses, mules, and camels had been collected
from the interior and brought to Sinope for transportation to
Balaclava ; but as the wretched small steamers could not carry
half the animals that had been purchased, hundreds and
hundreds were lying dead or dying, I presumed from starva-
tion as well as disease. All I know is that flocks of huge
vultures were gorging themselves on the carcasses, and the
stench was appalling from the putrefying garbage.

When we got clear of these abominations we found our-
selves in a finely wooded country, with here and there culti-
vated stretches of maize. The contrast to the climate we left
behind us was astonishing. Most days we hired some of the
natives to beat the woods for wild boar and roe-deer, of which
(from their tracks) there were evidently plenty ; but these said
beaters proved a set of idle toads, as they were full of money
from the sale of their poultry at (to them) fabulous prices.
One day, after patiently waiting in our passes, the shouts and
yells of our beaters did not seem to get nearer, and as nothing
came our way, Saunders and I thought that we would do a
little reconnoitring on our own account ; so we set out in quest
of the beaters, and, presently, came upon a lot of them, all
sitting round in a circle, jabbering to each other and smoking
their long pipes, while every now and again they shouted, and
fired off some powder in their pistols to make us believe they
were rousing the game and driving it our way. We both set
to work and gave the two head men a real good kick or two,
sufiicient, as we judged it, to interfere vA\h their sitting on
any hard substance with any degree of comfort for some time
to come.

They stood it like lambs, and as most of them carried a
long gun, and had one or two pistols in their belts — to say
nothing of some ugly-looking knives — it was perhaps just as
well for us that they took it so nicely. On other days we

LOSS OF OUR BAGGAGE-HORSE. 159

went with only our servant and one or two men to some
beautiful rough ground with a stiff undergrowth of briars,
hollies, and heather, where we found plenty of woodcock and
not a few real wild pheasants. Poor Punch, he had a bad
time of it ; for there were many masses of briars and creepers
that the dog could not possibly get through ; so I used to
take him up in my arms, and chuck him as far as I could on
to the top of these thick clumps of creeper, and before he
arrived at terra fir ma he usually managed to put up something
in the way of game.

We remained about ten days in Sinope and its neighbour-
hood, and then took ship to Samsoon, where we hired a horse,
to carry our baggage, from the Commissariat officer there,
agreeing to pay forty pounds for it if disaster overtook the
animal by the way. We started off very early one morning
for a village some miles off, and our route lay along the top
of some cliffs which descended almost precipitately down to
the Black Sea, and were more or less covered with timber
and underwood. The track had been much poached upon and
cut up by the droves of camels bringing merchandise of all
kinds from the interior to the seaboard ; but just on the verge
of the cliff the natives had worn a nice smooth path with their
sandalled feet.

While we were walking along this very path we observed
that our hired native was coolly riding on the top of our kit,
which was piled up on the pack-saddle. Of course we made
him dismount and lead the horse ; but the stupid idiot went
too near the edge of the cliff, and we suddenly heard him
shouting out. On looking back we saw that the ground had
given way beneath the unaccustomed weight of the horse and
his load, and there was the poor brute clinging in desperation
to the top of the cliff with his fore-feet, while his hind quarters
and pack were over the side. Before we could get to him he
fell backwards and plunged through the underwood right
down to a small sandy nook on the beach, and there lay dead.
Our beds and bullock-trunks were scattered in all directions,
some were hitched up in the trees growing upon the cliff-side,
and it cost us a lot of labour and trouble to free them, while
others were half-way down the slope. Fortunately, a fishing-
boat was passing, and its occupants got our traps together
and rowed with them to the nearest village. As luck would
have it, not much damage was done ; but we had to pay forty
pounds for the horse, which was rather a bad look-out. The
native, of course, had bolted at once and we never saw him more.

i6o FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

We killed several pig and a few roe in a splendid stretch of
forest, in the neighbourhood of which ran a stream flowing
into a lake, where we had some rare sport with the duck.
We had to gralloch our pig ourselves, for the natives would
not touch them. These said natives were very clever at
catching the duck in large mesh-nets, which they elevated on
poles and stretched across the stream at flight-time. Before
leaving we bought a lot of wild-duck to take back with us,
and, curiously enough, every one of the birds was minus its
head, which, I believe, was invariably done to prevent any
chance of a victim escaping and flying off to tell his pals ' to
beware of the net.'

On the expiration of our leave, we went on board a steamer
chock-full of cattle, and, with two wild boar, two roe-deer, and
a lot of duck, we duly arrived at Balaclava again. We had
enjoyed our trip in every sense of the word, and I never want
a better pal than Billy Saunders. He was a bit too fond of
his bed in the morning ; but, once up and out of his tub, he
was full of go for the rest of the day. He was blessed with a
fund of good-nature, and possessed an extraordinary appetite — -
both good points in their way. We distributed our game
amongst our pals, not forgetting those in high quarters, and
our sport was much appreciated.

Nothing authentic had been heard at that time with regard
to peace, but the odds had increased considerably that it would
be declared before long. It has just occurred to me that I
annexed a couple of trophies soon after my return, in the
shape of an old gun which I pulled out of the harbour with
the help of my ' Sardine ' (horse) and a few men, and one of
the granite steps from the docks at Sebastopol. Both of
these I got on board the Meteor, an ironclad commanded by
Beauchamp Seymour, now well known to most of us as Lord
Alcester, and he very kindly took them home for me, and
they are now at Elsham (Lincolnshire).

About the end of February 1856, our Commander-in-Chief,
Sir William Codrington, sent for me to talk over a scheme
for some ' Army Games,' giving me an excellent luncheon at
the same time. I had also to assist at another ' Race-meeting,'
so I was pretty busy. We got up some theatricals in our
Brigade which were most successful. Sefton and Malet were
our two girls, and we turned them out right well. Sefton
made quite a pretty blonde, I recollect, although it is getting
on for forty years ago since these theatricals took place.

We experienced considerable difficulty with regard to the

AMATEUR THEATRICALS IN CAMP. i6i

lady's figure, which was not quite sufficiently developed ; so
we had to practise a certain amount of ingenuity — with the
limited wardrobe at our disposal — to give her that plumpness
so generally admired by the military ! The great difficulty
w^e found was to make one pair of stockings, when artfully
rolled up, exactly the same size and nature of the other ;
however, we finally succeeded so well that no one could tell
't'other from which.'

After the performance was over, the snow being deep, we
had to carry our frail charge from the theatre to the supper
hut, in order that her white satin shoes and lovely silk
stockings should not get wet. This was the only piece I ever
performed in, and my part was a very simj^le one, inasmuch
as I had to play the village ruffian — a character I easily
assumed by donning an old velveteen jacket and a voluminous
red cotton choker. Most of the time I was on the stage, I
was seated upon a rickety old stool, with a damaged billy-
cock hat stuck jauntily on my head, a pot of beer by my side,
and a long churchwarden pipe in my hand, while, between
the whiffs, I made use of the said pipe to give the two girls a
sly poke in the ribs, and blurted out my intense admiration
for the pretty dears.

Early in March an armistice w^as signed, to last till the
end of the month, and the Russians came down to the river
Tchernaya. Many of our fellows fraternized with them, but
I let them run loose ; for I could not forget how many of my
poor wounded pals had been bayoneted by them while lying
wounded and helpless on the ground.

Jerry Goodlake and I rode over to dine and sleep at the
camp of a battery of Horse- Artillery commanded by a genial
friend from Devonshire, and a terribly rowdy night we had of
it ; but as I was by way of training for the Army Games, I
played ' 'possum,' and emptied my ' heel-taps ' into the wood-
box, instead of down my throat. My host gave me a shake-
down in his hut, and after we had both turned in between our
respective horse-rugs, he discovered that he had forgotten to
put out a candle at the other end of the hut ; so he sat up in
bed and, with a remarkably unsteady aim, shied all his boots
and shoes at it ; but the candle still kept dimly burning in
spite of all. His last available projectile was his glass flask
encased in wicker-work, a valued and trusty friend ; ^^ith this
he made a lovely shot and ' doused the glim,' but smashed his
highly-prized flask to smithereens, and amid his groans and
expletives I fell asleep. Next morning the junior subaltern

M

162 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

brought his CO. his usual ' pick-me-up/ consisting of a glass
containing two-thirds brandy and one-third cayenne pepper
(poor chap ! he lived to get home, but died soon after). About
forty gunners turned out one day to beat the woods for us ;
but, though we saw a few roe and some woodcock, no one got
a shot, as far as I remember.

The same evening I sent my servant, Penfound ^ (a capital
fellow, who lived afterwards w^ith other officers till he had
accumulated thirty years' service), on my white mule, with
my gun and valise, back to camp, and as he was passing in
the dusk near the French hay stores, over some very rough
ground, a French sentry challenged him with the usual ' Qui
va la ? ' and, as no notice was taken of his demand, the man
brought down his firelock so close to the mule's nose that he
swerved and fell, pitching Penfound over his head, and both
barrels of my gun (which he had stupidly carried loaded) went
off into the ground, about two inches being blown off each
barrel ; but the sentry, thinking the shots had been intended
for him, was within an ace of bayoneting the prostrate body
of my poor frightened servant. However, the sentry contented
himself with conveying him to the French guard-tent ; while
the mule, I presume, ' made hay while the moon shone,' for,
on reaching my hut the next morning, I was horrified to learn
that neither servant, mule, nor any of my property had yet
arrived. It was not without some difficulty that I at last
discovered my faithful retainer, half dead with fright, in the
guard-tent ; but after he had told me his story, and I had
explained matters to the French officer on duty, Penfound
was released, and most thankful he was, as he had passed a
wretched night distraught with visions of a French firing-
party all aiming for his heart, and only waiting for the word
of command to hurry him into another planet.

Shortly after this little episode, the ' Army Sports ' came
off, and I had a most successful day ; as, though I had taken
but little trouble to get myself fit, I carried off the hundred
yards champion belt and the quarter of a mile (open to the
world). In this last race there were forty-three starters.
The French and ' Sardines ' went off a cracker, as if they had
only fifty yards to go. At two hundred yards I was only
about half-way through the crowd of competitors ; but as I
lobbed along, they all came back to me, and when about
thirty yards from home I found myself with only one opponent

^ I shook Ms hand, in a last good-bye, on his deathbed in the autumn
of 1892.

PEACE DECLARED. 163

in front of me, and I happened to be pretty well acquainted
with his form ; so I ran up to him and shouted out ' Go it,
Ward ! ^ and came in a very easy winner.^ Ward (Sergeant
of the 34th) was a good second, all the others being beaten a
long way. I saAV the good old Sergeant at Glasgow only last
year, and we talked over old times and this very race, jogging
our memories with a glass of ' best Scotch.' I believe I should
have won the hurdle-race as well, only I overjumped myself
and fell.

The week after the ' Games ' came the ' Race-Meeting ' on
the Plains of the Tchernaya, and never shall I forget that
wondrous sight. The ' Huskies ' came down in vast numbers
to the river-side, and there could not have been less than one
hundred thousand spectators from the Allied armies, including
the three commanders, Codrington, Pelissier, and La Marmora.
I was again clerk of the course, and had my work cut out to
keep the track clear ; but soldiers are far easier to handle and
keep in order than civilians, and everything passed off in
first-rate style.

On one of the early days of April the w^elcome news arrived
that peace was signed,^ and there were salvos of artillery fired
by ' Huskies,' French, ' Sardines,' and English, and we all
expected that we should be sent home at once ; but we were
somewhat premature in this supposition as things turned out.
As soon as peace was declared, several T.G.'s (travelling gents),
as we called them, came out to see the place. The one I saw
most of was the late Lord Methuen (a rare sort), one of the
most powerful men I ever knew. He had brought out his
regiment of Wiltshire Militia as far as Corfu. He and I took
many a long walk together, for he would not ride. Mrs.
Dalrymple and Lady F. Fitzroy also came out to see their
husbands, and stayed in camp some time, riding all over the
country.

At this time, expeditions to various parts were all the rage.
Most of us started inland to Simpheropol and thereabouts,
but, for reasons I mentioned previously, I did not care to
take a friendly glass with the ' Huskies ' ; so Hej^burn, Sefton,
and Gipps accomj^anied me in a trip along the under-cliii as
far as Alou23ka, where stood the beautiful palace of Prince
Woronzolf. Our first night we slept at Phoros, where some

•■• Since writing the aLove Sergeant Ward has gone over to the
* majority.'

2 Peai^e was not proclaimed in London till 29th April, 1856, although it
was declared on 2nd of April in the Crimea. — Editok,.

i64 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Frencli were quartered, and we dined with tliem and had
rather a pleasant evening. Under the influence of some fair
liquor that we had brought with us, our Gallic allies became
quite talkative, and what astonished them most appeared to
be the amount of money paid by us for our commissions. It
was indeed funny to listen to their exclamations of surprise
when we told them that if a captain of a company had pur-
chased all his steps he would have paid close on eight thousand
pounds, and would not deem he had expended too much.

Before parting for the night, one of the Frencli officers, a
'grand chasseur,' told me in strict confidence that if I would
but elevate myself at ' heau matin ' on the following day, he
would personally conduct me to a spot where I could enjoy
'line chasse magnijlque.' I thought that I had best inquire
concerning the nature of the ' gibier,' when he observed, in a
voice swelling with triumph and emotion, ' Les grenouilles
avec les cuisses enormes, et ixirfaitement hlancJies, excellenfes, et
delicieuses.' Poor dear ! he was terribly disappointed when I
declined his invitation, and, I fear, turned up my nose rather
at his kindly offer.

The scenery along this under-cliff was hard to beat, and the
Tartar inhabitants were not only very civil, but apparently
pleased to see us ; so, after four or five days out, we returned
to camp thoroughly well satisfied with our trip.

On the 17th of April, Sir W. Codrington ordered a review
of the whole British army, and about thirty-two thousand
men turned out. The Russian General (Luders) must have
been considerably struck with the appearance of our force at
the fag end of over two years' campaigning.

Gipps and I had purchased a steeplechase horse from one
Smith, of the Artillery, yclept ' Muster-Eoll,' and we ran
him once or twice, with only moderate success, at the various
meetings. We made a couple of matches with him against
two horses belonging to Jerry Goodlake, and one I think I
may venture to tell you about. It was to be a * pounding
match,' thirteen stone each, two miles, over eight fences, four
of which were to be made by Goodlake, while I was to erect
the other four obstacles, and it was agreed that they were all
to be fair hunting fences. The two animals were a wonderful
contrast to each other, Muster-Roll, our horse, standing sixteen
hands high, and The Toy, Jerry Goodlake' s cob, being fourteen
two. He was not only clever as a. cat at jumping, but very
careful withal ; so I took a lot of trouble in making a fence
that I thought would bring him down. This fence consisted

A POUNDING MATCH. 165

of a double ditch with a wide bank in the centre, and I simply-
dug out the soil of the two ditches and threw it up in between
them, thus forming a bank which was naturally quite soft and
loose ; for I felt certain that The Toy would try and take on
and off the bank and, I fondly hoped, come down, but I knew
that Muster-E-oll would jump the whole thing in his stride.

Jerry Goodlake put up one real tricky fence, a double post
and rail, very stiff and not above ten feet between them, while
the further rails were all a foot higher than those on the
take off side. Colonel Edmund Peel, of the 11th Hussars, was
referee, and he rode round the course ; but, though I objected
strongly to the double post and rails, as there was not room
for a horse to go in and out, unless he was clever enough to
do it sideways, the Colonel decided that they were all fair
hunting fences. Yelverton of the Artillery rode Muster-Koll,
and Henry Blundell The Toy. Jerry himself was unable to
be present, as he had some very pressing staff-work to do ;
he therefore deputed Morris of the Artillery to act on his
behalf.

The course was near the French camp, so crowds of their
officers were present. The flag dropped, away went the two
competitors, and all proceeded smoothly till they came to my
double ditch, which Muster-Eoll flew like a bird ; but the
tricky Toy dropped his hind legs on the loose bank, which
promptly gave way with him and down he came flop on his
stomach ; however, matters were soon equalized by Muster-
Roll falling at one of the other fences. Now came the post
and rails, and as I was cantering along the inner circle of the
course, T shouted to my jockey to trot ; Morris did the same.
So I told Yelverton to pull up and wait for The Toy to show
us how this fair (?) fence was to be negotiated ; but Morris
would not let Blundell go at it, and so there the two com-
petitors remained for close on twenty minutes, the referee
finally deciding that it was a draw.

I was very angry with Morris ; for it was clearly their
business to jump first over a fence of their own construction,
and Blundell was quite keen to go at it. The worst part of
it all was that the French passed a good many uncompli-
mentary remarks regarding the pluck of the riders and
the English generally, and I know that I rode home in high
dudgeon.

Shortly after this The Toy won a race at the 'French
Meeting,' and Marshal Pelissier presented Jerry Goodlake
with the cup, which pleased him much. One night after

i66 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

supper, Jerry bet me sixty po-ands to forty t*hat I could not
walk a mile, run a m.ile, and ride a mile in twenty minutes.
This match came off on the 24th of April on the Woronzolf
road. I had been practising a bit, but I was a lot too big at
starting. I walked and ran a mile on the afore-mentioned
road and had a nice bit in hand ; but, by the carefully-worded
terms of the match I was to have a pony handed me — not
held whilst I mounted. The pony was a very fast one of poor
Jack Paynter's, but a fidgety little brute, and what with his
being very fresh and much astonished — not to say alarmed —
at my light and airy costume (for I was nearly as naked as
when I was born), as well as nervous at the large crowd of
nearly ten thousand French soldiers all shouting at the top
of their voices, I thought that I never should get on him ;
but at last I thi-ew myself across his back, and, as luck would
have it, he tore across the plain pretty near straight for the
winning-post, which was on the same ground where the
celebrated Balaclava charge had taken place. I gradually
righted myself on the saddle as" we went along, and won with
one minute and a half to spare — not bad work considering all
the difficulties that I had to contend with !

i67

CHAPTER XYI.

Curly Knox gets a bad Fall — Expedition to Scutari — Entertained by tlie
Inniskillings — The Sultan's Cups — Jim Coleman — Dutch Courage —
lioger j\Io.styn — Xo Luck, no AVinnings — Sell our Horse — Barring-
tons and Hunters— Back at Balaclava — Valentine Baker's Arab — The
Kugeley Poisoner, Palmer — Embark on board Princess lloyal — Arrive
at Malta, 17th June— Gibraltar — In the Bay — Life on Board the
Princess lloyal — Hare — Festing — Portsmouth — Looking back on the
AVinters of 1854-5 — Moralizing — Losses by the Allies and Russians
during the Cami-aign — Mortality from Cholera and other Diseases —
Land at Portsmouth and Train to Aldershot, July 1856 — Review in
Hyde Park— Untimely Death of Peter — I^fy Pony 'Jim' — Pose as
Model for a Corbel — Goodwood, 1856 — Tull, the Lock-keeper — Lady
Hashley ! — Athletic Sports, Aldershot, October 1856 — Sweep the
Board— Beat W. Beach.

In one of my letters written home about this time I find the
following : ' One of our fellows, little Knox, got a bad fall the
other day and has been more or less insensible for three days,
but is mending now, poor little fellow ! ' As the burly
General {'Curly') Knox now weighs within a few pounds of
my own weight, these expressions relative to his diminutive
size read to me as very funny ; but tempus fugit, and we all
put on weight, I suppose, as the years roll on, if inclined that
way. Poor ' Curly ' was uncommon dicky for several days
from concussion of the brain, but all who know him must be
satisfied that his tumble was productive of more good than
harm.^

As I had been asked by several Cavalry men to pay them a
visit at Scutari, I started with Muster-Eoll, and, after a very
pleasant passage, arrived in the beginning of May with three
or four other fellows whose names — bar Roger Mostyn's — I
forget, on the shores of the ' Golden Horn.' I got a shake-
down with the Inniskillings, and they had a capital mess.

1 Since these lines were in print poor ' Curly ' Knox has passed from
amongst ns, I regret to say, and I attended his funeral only the other
day.— J. D. A.

i68 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

The Sultan had given three cups to be run for, and very pretty-
little ohjets d'art they were. Though not much bigger than
egg-cups they were studded with precious stones, and were
said to be worth the best part of a hundred pounds each.
Having brought no jockey with me from the Crimea (mine
having gone amiss), and as all the best cavalry jocks had to
steer their own horses, I had a great deal of difficulty to get
any one to ride for me at all ; but at mess, after the wine had
circulated, dear old Jim Coleman (who used always to take his
whack) became so valiant that he offered his services for the
morrow, wiiich I gladly accepted.

After breakfast next morning, Jim and I rode out to have
a look round the course, and the first fence was a very stiff
one, which would stand no attempt at ' brushing through ' ; so
I particularly exhorted Jim to go steady at this obstacle, and
cautioned him to be careful. There were several very good-
looking horses in the field, the one that made most imjDression
upon me being a dark chestnut called 'Baronet.' I believe he
belonged to Gunter, who is fit and well, and now living near
Wetherby. Just before starting, and much against my will,
I was obliged to hand a flask of brandy to my jockey, and the
dear old boy took a long pull at it ; then the flag dropped to
a good start and away they went.

To my horror I saw Muster-Roll going forty miles an hour
at that terrible stiff fence ; he hit it very hard and turned end
over end. I galloped down and found poor Jim groaning a
bit ; but on my saying that the horse had got away too far to
remount, he picked himself up, and I was rejoiced to see that
he was only a bit shaken ; but when I announced to him that
Muster- Eoll had been caught, and was being ridden back for
him to get on again, down he flopped with severe sjmsms, and
more brandy was demanded ; therefore all hope of that cup
was dispelled.

As far as I recollect, the races lasted three days ; at any
rate, Muster-EoU being no worse for his fall, I started him in
another race, and this time got Ellis (now Howard de Walden),
a very good rider, as ' coachman ' ; but again we had bad luck.
I think the horse fell at the water, through overjumping him-
self, and got loose, and we did not find him for some hours ;
but at length he and Jerry Goodlake's mare Bathsheba, who
had also fallen, were found up to their middles in a sort of
nullah, having drunk enough water to wash a ' 'bus.' Kext
day, Muster-Roll started again (I think with the same jockey
in charge) 3 but bad luck followed him, for there was a sort of

TRYING IT ON. 169

lane to cross, with steep banks on each side. My horse
jumped too big and shot Ellis on to his neck, and before he
could right him he had lost a lot of ground, Tom Townley (a
perfect horseman), who rode the winner Pathfinder, slid his
horse down the first bank and scrambled up the opposite side —
I can see him doing it now — and won in a canter.

The last day there was one more chance : it was a hurdle-
race, and I got the ' artful ' Roger Mostyn to bestride the un-
fortunate Muster-Roil. To my intense satisfaction and — as I
fondly hoped — for my pocket's welfare, horse and rider came
sailing along with the race ajDparently w^ell in hand ; when, at
the last hurdle but one, he ran out, jumped the last hurdle
and passed the post with a good lead. I, with assumed
bravado, at once rushed down to lead him in ; but was met
with storms of reproach, which I vainly endeavoured to quell,
and the oflicials had the audacity to refuse to weigh him in.
This was a most disastrous finish to what I had trusted would
have turned out a brilliant ' week's out ' ; so I sold our horse
for two hundred pounds (cheap as rags) to Teddy Hunt, an
excellent pal and a good man to hounds, and I am glad to say
he enjoyed many a good run on the unlucky Muster-RoU in
the shires after he got home. Notwithstanding my run of bad
luck, I spent a most enjoyable w^eek with the dear old Cavalry,
who entertained us right sumptuously.

As Percy Barrington and his wife, and Sir Paul and Lady
Hunter were going up to the Crimea, I took ship with them,
and returned after another smooth passage to Balaclava. I
forgot to mention that, either on my way to or from Scutari,
we put in at Eupatoria, looked up the 10th Hussars, and had
lunch with Valentine Baker. He showed me what I believe
to be the most beautiful animal I have ever seen — an almost
pure white Arab stallion, that he had brought with him from
India. It had the most lovely head and neck that I ever
beheld, and its mane and tail were of that delicate texture
peculiar to high-bred Arabs. Through its glossy coat could
be seen large blotches of black in the otherwise pure white
skin ; and, if I remember right, I was brute enough to declare
that I had never seen even a woman so perfectly beautiful in
make, shape, and expression as that Arab horse — of course, I
was young then, ancl that remark does not hold good noio ; so
the ladies will let me off, I hope.

We had a very jolly time in camp this May, for the weather
was lovely, and I played in several cricket matches. One day
I took Mrs. Barrington and Lady Hunter, with their husbands,

lyo FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

clown to Sebastopol, and we had luncheon on board the
Gladiator, commanded by Captain Hillier, and afterwards
went in one of his boats to see the forts on the north side of
the harbour. At the end of the month I made a trip along
the under-cliff with Foley, Montressor, and a cousin of mine.
The first day we rode to Aloupka, forty-three miles, and slept
there, riding on next morning to Yalta. The country was
now much more beautiful than when I last rode along the
same line, as the leaves were all well out on the trees, and
hedges of roses, laburnum, and Judas, besides flowering shrubs
of all sorts, were in their full glory. ^ It was too delicious to
one who had been pent up in a noisy, dusty, and parched
camp. The birds sang, and the frogs croaked as if they wei-e
real glad to see us ; in fact the whole scene was heavenly.

The ships now commenced to come in fast, and we Jioped
every day to get an order to start for home. On the 9th of
June a telegram arrived to say that H.M.S. Princess lloyal
had put into Karatch Bay and that we were to start on the
11th. It was just at this time we got the news of that worst
of villains, ^yilliam Palmer's trial for poisoning his friend
Cook at Ptugeley in Staffordshire, and I was real glad when I
won a couple of ' the best ' over his being condemned to death.

I managed to get my pony Jimmy on board one of the
transports, also a pet pig named Peter, whom I had rescued
from the knife, and had been my constant companion when in
camp. The rest of our kit was sold by auction, and we duly
embarked on board H.M.S. Prince'<s lloyal. She was a very
fine ship, and we had much better accommodation than we
ever found on board those narrow transport steamers, I was
allowed to sleep in my camp-bed on the lower deck, and a
good bit of luck for me too, as most of the other fellows were
slung up in hammocks, and some of them had a very rough
time of it, as the hammocks were frequently cut down at night,
and the poor dears had only a very moderate night's rest on
those occasions.

We stopped at Constantinople five or six hours, and got to
Malta on 17th June. We had hardly anchored (about 9 p.m.)
before Gipps and several other fellows began bathing by
moonlight, and it was very odd to watch them splashing about
under the bows.

As far as I can recollect we did not stop long, but started
the next day and in due course anchored ofi: Gibraltar. A lot
of us went ashore, and mounted on donkeys, rode up the

^ Judas-tree, a flowerincf shmb common in the East. — Editor.

SPORT ON BOARD SHIP. 171

' Rock,' exploring the galleries cut in the solid stone, which
are well supplied with big guns. Still, I would not care to be
a gunner in those stuffy chambers were the guns to be fired
in anger, for the smoke would be suffocating, the draught
being so deficient that you could light your cigar with a wax-
match without fear of the latter being blown out during the
process. After rambling along on the top of the ' Rock,' we
mounted our ' Jerusalem ponies,' to ride down the zigzag path,
and some excitement was caused by one of the rearmost
donkeys evincing an uncontrollable desire to keep company
with one of the foremost of the cavalcade, and he came charging
down, with his trumpet in full blast, shoving those in his way
right and left, and so alarming his rider that he promptly
jumped off, and as we gave the high-spirited moke some good
whacks as he passed, he soon disappeared out of sight.

Across the Bay of Biscay — that bay so dreaded by those
whose vacation is not that of the sea — we were fortunate
enough to experience a charming spell of fine weather, and we
played at a lot of games ]3eculiar to shipboard. There were
also some lively bouts at single-stick amongst our party.
Eesting of the Marine Artillery (afterwards Sir Francis of West
African fame) and little Dick Hare (then a middy and now I
presume an admiral, or he ought to be by this time) were
much applauded ; for they cut at each other witli a will.
Hare never cared how often he was hit on his helmet if he
could only get in a good cut at Festing's thighs, and, mind
you, there is no more tender spot than the inside of your
thigh ; but Festing was a very game chap, and took all that
the middy could give him with rare good-humour.

Well, one day on board ship is very much the same as
another, providing the weather remains fair, and so I will
only add that, after a remarkable pleasant passage, we arrived
at Portsmouth, where we disembarked, and thus ended the
Crimean campaign as far as I was concerned.

I am afraid that I h^ave been somewhat prolix at times, and
may have wearied my readers w^ith many trumpery incidents,
some few of which I have found very diflicult to commit to
paper in an amusing form ; though over a pipe and a glass I
have found them tickle the risible faculties of my hearers to
some tune when doing the ^ viva voce trick.' However, I
always feel very glad that I was given the opportunity of
seeing a certain amount of foreign service ; for sure I am that
no man can tell what he is worth till he has been tried, and
I have come to the conclusion that the bravest man is by no

172 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

means always lie who by nature is devoid of fear, but he who,
naturally being really timid, yet performs his duty fearlessly
and well,

I feel like moralizing a little on this subject, so here goes ;
the reader can but skip it if he don't care to follow my argu-
ment. I know a man whom I verily believe would go up in
a balloon, though he well knew that the silk was so worn and
thin that it might split at any moment, and by so doing hurry
him through space to instant destruction ; or he would descend
a mine many fathoms deep, notwithstanding his knowledge
that the chain by which the cage was suspended was so unsafe
that its snapping was not only possible but probable ; or he
would take up a live shell and throw it over the parapet when
the sputtering fuse had burnt down to near contact with the
explosive matter inside it. That man I call devoid of fear hy
nature. When such a man is exj)osed to danger, he positively
enjoys the excitement, proportioned by the risk he is running ;
but, on the other hand, I know many men who inwardly
undergo extreme pangs of fear, and would hate to find them-
selves exposed to such catastrophes as I have mentioned
above, and yet would risk their lives calmly, if not cheerfully,
providing that they thought it was their bounden duty so
to do.

In both these instances we will admit that each man has
done his duty equally well ; but, to my mind, it is long odds
that the timid one is the bravest of the twain. ISTow one
word as to the incentive which urges a soldier to risk his life
for ' Queen and Country.' We will take the case of a man
who becomes a soldier simply because he has nothing much to
look forward to (as far as he is aware). He has no relatives
able or willing to leave him a ten-pound note ; so that man
argues, or is convinced, that, if he can only get the opportunity
to distinguish himself by ' doughty deeds,' he will some day
be comfortably off and well rewarded for his prowess by a
grateful country.

On the other hand, take a man who is heir to large posses-
sions, and perhaps only one aged life stands between him and
the enjoyment of his wealth ; will not the thought of his being
prematurely cut off by disease or a bullet, or by one of the
many vicissitudes of a campaign, at times cross his mind and
prompt him not to risk his glowing prospects by needlessly
hazarding the life that he has hoped to enjoy, if he can only
return home safe and sound again 1 Let us allow, for the sake
of argument, that both those individuals are equally plucky ;

CRIMEAN AND PENINSULAR WARS. I73

but yet the poor man lias everything to gain. He goes for the
gloves, or, I should say, to win his spurs, and once won, they
mean to a certain extent a life of ease, if not luxury ; and he
must be but a poor tool if he does not try to do a bit to earn
them. On the other hand, the man with good expectations is
actuated by strong sense of duty only, and lacks that incentive
which urges the other on to make himself a name.

I fear that some of my readers will scoff at my feeble powers
of reasoning, but I will chance that and say a few words as
to the pleasures of campaigning. I cannot imagine a pleasanter
life for any poor, or even rich, man of sound constitution,
youth, and good animal spirits, than a campaign in a pictur-
esque and rich country, blessed with a good climate. My mind
reverts at once to the Peninsular War. What could a man
wish for more, than roaming about such a country as was the
scene of that campaign,^ and more especially if, five times out
of six, the army in which he served proved successful, and
opportunity was afforded him of demonstrating what a good
physique, allied to pluck, was capable of carrying him through 1

Now for the other side of the picture, the Crimean campaign.
The young man blessed with the many advantages previously
mentioned — full of energy, anxious to draw his sword for his
country's good, and fondly hoj^ing that in a month at the most
he will have an opportunity — suddenly discovers that he is
humbugged about between Malta, Scutari, and the pestilential
shores of Yarna for six months, during which time he has
never seen an enemy or smelt powder (as the saying is), and
even if he escapes himself with slight fits of seediness from
time to time, yet he has to experience the horror of seeing his
splendid battalion well-nigh decimated with disease of the
most virulent and malignant form, and with nothing earthly to
do to fill up his time or employ his brain. After a time perhaps
he is fortunate if he finds himself landed at last in the enemy's
country, and at the end of the first week is regaled with a sharp,
short, and decisive battle, in which, if he has not the luxury
of being wounded and so incapacitated for duty, he has, after
a short march in a sterile country, the privilege of sitting down
on a bare bleak range of rocks, and — if his health permits his
sticking to duty — being exposed day after day to danger that
no pluck can avert, and at one time chilled to the marrow by
frost and snow or deluged with rain and covered by mud, with

^ I venture to think that some of the old Peninsular men would hardly
agree with Sir John as to that campaign being quite so enjoyable as he
suggests in comparison with the Crimea, — Editoe.

174 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

nothing to eat but salt provisions and tinned meats — with little
enough of either — and nothing to drink, possibly, but in-
different rum and green coffee ; his only protection from the
horrors of a Russian climate being the flimsy shelter afforded
by his bell-tent. I have not said a word too much, or
exaggerated in the slightest degree the hardships that my poor
battalion and the army generally went through during the
winter months of 1854 and '55, in proof of which. I need only
state roughly that our losses in the Crimea, independent of
about 3500 men who died from wounds or were killed in action,
was — died by cholera, upwards of 4000 ; other diseases, upwards
of 15,000; while the French lost altogether close on 41,000
men, and the Russians are supposed to have suffered to the
tune of nearly half a million of men.

"When spring and summer came round again, and the sun
once more tried its best to cheer our gallant little army, its
rays beat down on the same arid spot where the snows of
winter had locked us in their icy embrace ; but to cut the
picture of misery short — there sat our army from September
1854 to September 1855 ; and even when our enemy surlily
gave in and moved out of range of our guns, still there we sat
for another nine months on that infernal plateau.

However, everything comes to an end in this ' vale of tears,'
and at last this campaign did so too, and the lucky survivors
landed again in ' Good Old England,' though their joy was
much tempered with sorrow at the thought of those many
loved comrades, whom we had buried and left behind us in that
detestable Crimea.

As I remarked a few pages back (before I commenced to
moralize), we disembarked at Portsmouth on the 6th of July
and went by train to Aldershot, a manoeuvre that I hated ;
seeing that I was longing for the swagger of a triumphant
march into London. However, as soon as we got our accoutre-
ments straight, w^e took train to Nine Elms Station, and had a
fine time marching through the London streets to Hyde Park,
where we were reviewed by the Duke of Cambridge, in the
presence of our good Queen, and Prince Albert.

We had a very long day, and, as far as I recollect, did not
reach St. George's Barracks till well on to 6 p.m. It was very
shortly after this review that I met Lord Rokeby, who com-
manded my regiment, and with one of his pleasant smiles he
remarked : ' I suppose you know you will soon have to pass an
examination for your company, as you are first on the list for
the step I ' At first I Avas a bit staggered, but, pulling myself

THE FATE OF POOR PETER. 175

together, I replied with considerable decision : ' Not me, my
Lord ; I will leave the army sooner than be examined. If I
do not know my duty as a soldier, what is the use of active
service ? Besides, I made a vow when I left Oxford that I
would never open that infernal Euclid book again, and, what
is more, I never will ! — so that is straight.'

The good old gentleman remonstrated with me, but without
effect ; however, as good luck would have it, I was fortunate
enough to get my company without the humbug of an
examination, and I believe that I was about the last man
who did so.

I think I told you that I had brought home two animals
with me from the Crimea, and that one of them was rather a
peculiar style of pet — namely, my intelligent pig, Peter. I
had saved his neck from the knife one day when he was a
porker, and had been brought into our camp before Sebastopol
to be sacrificed on the spit ; but there was something so taking
about him, and the expression of his face so amiable and lov-
able (my readers must remember that lovable articles were
scarce before Sebastopol on those barren heights), that I took
compassion on him and saved him. He returned my good
feeling by following me about like a dog, and eventually was
located in St. George's Barracks, where the men made a pet of
him, and he had a high old time.

Alas ! one day Peter was playing about with one of the
soldiers' children, and, either by accident or design, he had the
bad taste to mistake the infant's hand for his dinner, and he
was then and there sentenced to death. Gipps had also brought
home a pet — to wit, a horned sheep — who was quartered ab the
Magazine Barracks ; but I fancy he became decidedly morose
in disposition and knocked all the children about ; so he, too,
was finally killed and eaten. My pony, that had carried me
so well in the Crimea, I used frequently to ride in the Park or
when making calls, and in the latter case I would often leave
him loose in the street ; but the boys would not stand this
method of being done out of their lawful dues for holding
hacks, so they had the audacity to pelt poor Jimmy, occasion-
ally, with stones ; but he never moved far away and would
come to me directly I called him. He was a real intelligent
pony, and when his fore-legs began to give way I put him in a
light trap, and very useful he was. He lived to a good old
age and was buried with all honours. I have the bones of his
fore-legs yet, and it seems to me that the texture of the bones
is more like ivory than is usually the case with our nags.

176 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

As the Chichester folks were very keen at this time to get
the Guards to bring down a team to play the ' Priory Park
Club ' a match at cricket, I got up an eleven for the Monday
before Goodwood, and a real good reception they gave us. I
never enjoyed cricket more, and swaggered above a bit with
my Champion belt (won for foot-racing in the Crimea) round
my waist. In the evening, the citizens of Chichester enter-
tained us at a public dinner, the good old Duke of Richmond
being in the chair. He said all sorts of pretty things about
us, and I had to respond. The newspaper of the day reported
that 'The gallant Major spoke in 2l familiar manner, and
said that, however much he might have improved in the art of
soldiering, he had made but little progress in speaking.' Y'ou
may bet your life that was true enough ; for I was not a great
orator by any manner of means.

During the day, the parson or churchwarden (I forget
which) insisted upon my accompanying him to one of the
churches which had been recently restored, and, pointing out
a corbel at the base of one of the arches of the roof, he re-
marked that ' The sculptor had intended it for a representation
of my head-piece,' adding that ' every one considered it to be
a first-rate likeness.' AVell, it might have been, but it struck
me as wonderfully like the ordinary representations of St.
Peter, and I did not feel specially flattered, though at Rome
it is looked upon as a great privilege to kiss his toe. Besides,
I cannot quite make him out a real trutliful party, and, if all
we read is correct, he had no particular turn of speed either,
for John easily outran him, and we don't know for certain
that his time was anything near the 'record.' Still, I suppose

I must consider it an honour to have my hoary old head
pointed out to visitors to this sacred edifice.

What a delicious sensation it was to attend Goodwood races
once more ! — for I had missed doing so very much during the
past two years — and wonderful pleased I was with the warm
and hearty greetings of all my old Sussex friends. This was
the year of the fearful accident which occurred during the
race for the Goodwood Stakes. It took place close to the
turn at the Craven starting-post. Chevy Chase, a three-year-
old, ridden by an unfortunate little boy named Hearden, 4 st.

II lbs. (that being 4 lbs. over his handicapped weight !), ran
up the bank and fell into the course, bringing down seven
other horses. Happily the only fatality was the mare that
caused the accident ; but two of the jockeys were in Chichester
Infirmary for several weeks, and Bartholomew carried the

LADY HASHLEY. 177

marks of the severe injuries he had sustained — by being cut
about the head — to his grave.

Monsieur Aumont's good horse Monarque was only third
in the Stewards' Cup, won by New Brighton, and in the
Goodwood Cup won by Rogerthorpe. George Fordham, then
five stone four, rode second in the Stewards' Cup and Good-
wood Stakes, and rode the winner of the Goodwood Cup and
the Chesterfield Cup, riding only five stone seven in the latter
race.

When leave came out I went home to Everleigh, and was
most enthusiastically welcomed by all. Athletic sports were
organized, and a jolly good spread provided for all the
villagers.

Nothing could be pleasanter than paying visits to old
friends after having been away so long, and no matter the
walk of life they occupied, they were one and all delighted to
welcome me back. One day I went down to Windsor and
paid a visit to old Tull, who kept the Lock at Windsor Weir ;
he was a great pal of mine, and so was his good lady, and I
had often stopped to have a chat with them when passing
through locks in either punt or boat. Just before I had
started for the Crimea, I bought Tull a nice well-bred Berk-
shire gilt, and I felt cmious to know what family she had
produced. Now in times past my good mother had more
than once taken a room at Tull's cottage, and had there
executed some very pretty sketches of Eton, the playing
fields, and Windsor Castle ; so the old man was proud of his
acquaintance with her ladyship.

After hearty greetings had passed between the old boy, his
good lady, and myself, I inquired about the matronly pig,
and asked what luck he had had with her progeny ; when,
with a solemn air, he exclaimed, ' Oh ! it's Lady Hashley as
you means 1 Why, there she is ! ' and elevating my eyes to
the ceiling at which he pointed, I beheld reposing upon the
bacon-rack two prime flitches. The old wretch had fattened
and killed that high-born lady pig, and had added to his
audacity by calling it after my respected mother. When the
shock of this discovery had passed away and we were taking
a friendly cup of tea together, old Tull asked me if I had seen
his son ' Bill.' I said no, where was he 1 ' Why,' said he,
' he has been fighting the Rooshuns same as what you 'ave,
and I made sure you would 'ave seen 'im ' — here he gave me
a severe look, as much as to infer that he doubted my having
been in Russia at all — adding later : ' Why, Bill was aboard

N

178 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

the Billy Ruffon [BelleropJioii] somewhere outside Cronstadt ;
I can't make out how it is as you ain't seen 'im/ After some
time I managed to explain to him that, though the Baltic and
Black Seas both washed the Eussian shores, they were an
enormous distance apart, and so I left him fairly pacified,
though much disappointed that I had not seen Bill !

In October, with Gipps, Goodlake, and others, I paid Lord
Methuen a visit at Corsham Court, and a very pleasant time
and excellent shoot we enjoyed. On the 23rd of October
there were some athletic sports at Aldershot, open to the
army, and as I had entered in pretty well all the running
events, I left early in the morning by train, taking with me
my faithful little henchman, Jimmy Patterson, the ' Flying
Tailor,' with whom I had been doing a bit of running most
m.ornings, and was, in consequence, pretty fairly fit.

We stopped to breakfast at Beading, and there met a very
queer character, old ' Drinkwald,' the owner of Black Tommy,
who ran second to the celebrated Blink Bonny for the Derby
of 1857. He was freshening himself up on his way to see
his horses at Lambourne, and I told the old boy that if he
would entrust me with some ' ready,' I would invest it well
for him, as I was going to Aldershot to run in some races,
and, as an investment, my two legs were far safer to put the
money down on than any of his four-legged racehorses ; but
the old boy was a long way too fat to believe in human speed.

Our second battalion was then quartered at Aldershot, and,
after a bit of luncheon with them, we went down to the
ground where the various courses were staked out, and a
goodly muster of ofiicers, many ladies, and a host of soldiers
were already assembled. The first race that I competed in
was 100 yards on the flat, and that I won comfortably enough.
Bob Sayer (now General, and brother of my former antagonist,
poor Fred of the 23rd) was second, and when we pulled up
he suggested that I had no chance for the next race, as he
had a brother ofiicer in it who could give him a lot of start,
and added, ' As you only just beat me, he is sure to do you.'
But I told Bob that in reality I beat him very easily, only,
as 1 had three other races before me, I had kept a bit up my
boot ! This next race was 200 yards, and the prize a cup
given by her Majesty and the Prince Consort, which trophy
I annexed easy enough ; Bill Bathurst was second, and Bob's
flyer nowhere. Then came a quarter of a mile race, and that
I took quite comfortably.

Now came a severe task — 200 yards in full uniform and

A VETERAN OF TWENTY-EIGHT. 179

heavy marching order. This race I hardly expected to win,
as 1 had not my uniform with me, nor had I practised running
with all a private's kit and accoutrements on ; however, I
changed clothes with one of our privates who was somewhere
about my size, and duly paraded with the other competitors.
I forget who inspected the squad, but I know he said to me,
' You are not properly dressed, sir ; you have no stock on.'
I replied that there was no room in my coat-collar for a stock,
but his answer was, ' You cannot start unless you are properly
dressed ! ' So, with much difhculty, one of those very stiff
old-fashioned deep leather stocks was procured, and forced
inside the tightly-hooked collar of my borrowed tunic, and it
precious near choked me, for I found it impossible to move
m.y head either way, However, off we went, and I just got
up in the last few strides and won, beating ' Duck ' Phillips,
of the Grenadiers, by half a yard. He had been practising
much for this race, and having his own uniform on, and the
kit well fitted to his body, he had a great pull over me with
my impromptu get-up.

As soon as I passed the post I threw myself on my back and
yelled out for some one to cut my collar open, for I was
wonderful near choked. I do not know whether the present
method of arranging a soldier's kit and accoutrements on his
person is better adapted for a speedy burst, but I can swear
that the arrangement in the year 1856 was never meant to
hurry in, especially when the individual was unused to carrying
a knapsack, with full kit inside, weighing twenty-one pounds,
a great-coat rolled on top of that, a rifle and sixty rounds of
ammunition, and a fine old bearskin on top of all.

Having resumed my civilian attire (how delicious it was
after the ill-fitting costume which I had restored to its rightful
owner ! ), I felt really proud of myself, for 1 had won the only
four cups to be competed for by officers of the whole army, and
I had hardly dared to hope that a veteran (I was only twenty-
eight) who had during the last two years been plugged with a
bullet, and touched up by cholera morbus, fever, and dysentery,
could monopolize all the plate. However, it is right enough,
for are not the said four cups on my sideboard to this day % — ■
mounted on a pedestal encircled by the champion belt (for
running in the foot-races in the Crimea), and inside the largest
cup reposes the neat little silken garment, made of our regi-
mental plaid pattern, which encompassed part of my body in
most of my races, of which little garment more anon !

An old friend of mine in the Windsor district, whom I had

i8o FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE

almost forgotten to mention, was the old railway inspector at
Slough Station. He was well known to many of the regular
passengers by G.W.R. to Windsor, and was said to have rarely,
if ever, missed more than one train a day for years. His duty
was to shout out, as each train arrived at Slough : ' Slough
and Windsor only.' They do say that on his wedding-day he
asked permission to miss three trains, so as to have time to
get properly ' tied up,' but was back at his post in time for
the fourth. His next application for leave was on the occasion
of the christening of his first-born, and, as the story goes,
when the clergyman demanded of the parents the name of the
child, he, in his usual loud and distinct tones, immediately
replied, ' Slough and Windsor only.' Poor old boy ! many a
time have I chaffed him about his zealous attention to his
duty, and he used to tell a story about my having jumped the
seven-feet gates at old Paddington Station when they were
shut, because the train was just on the move.

His version of the affair is not, of course, quite correct ; but
I did climb on the tojD of the gate, and when a porter ran up
to stop me, I jumped clean over him and ran up the platform,
getting into the carriage through the window as the train was
moving out ; but the fussy inspector on duty stopped the train
and proposed to pull me out. I informed him that it was no
easy job for one man to pull even a buck-rabbit out of his
hutch, so that it would take several men to get me out of the
carriage. He, seeing the force of my argument after a bit,
wisely desisted, and left me in peace.

It was during this winter or following spring that T received
another challenge from W. Beach to run for the third time
150 yards on the fiat, as he was not satisfied as to my
superiority. I was nothing loth, so it was arranged that we
were to run for a pony (£25) a side on the turnpike road at
Salt Hill (same place as that where I had run poor Fred
Sayer before the Crimea). Beach particularly specified that
we were only to have six friends each, present to witness the
match, and I fancy his reason for this clause in the agreement
was that, like many of our equine racers. Beach was a trifle
nervous at the post — in fact, he once told me that he was
yards better in private than in public, whereas I believe it was
exactly the contrary with me, particularly if there was plenty
of music and lots of ladies.

Knowing the peculiar temperament of my friend, I am
afraid I was a wee bit tricky at the start, and kept him on
the scratch some little time — in fact, as long as I decently

BEAT W. BEACH. i8i

could — by making sundry false starts. At last we got off
very evenly, and I made running, with Beach close up, and
at 120 yards I fancied that he could pass me when he liked;
at 130 he was evidently doing his level best and we ran neck
and neck ; but, after a regular ding-dong finish, I just won by
half a yard. The form was wonderful true, and showed that
the Crimea had done me no harm, and the rest at home had
done him no good, so at last W. B. was satisfied ; and I don't
think he ever ran again, but settled down into a steady con-
scientious Senator, and has well re]3resented part of Hampshire
in the House of Commons for many years past.

1 82

CHAPTER XYII.

Match with J. P. Taylor— In the Emerald Isle— I Wm easily — Horse-
dealing by Gaslight — Cobble Stones v. Flesh and Bone — The Kesult —
Julian Hall sends back my AVinnings— Match with Captain Smith,
71st Highlanders — My Last Appearance on the Eimning-path— I Win
— I Contemplate Matrimony — Courtship — Married at St. James's —
Start for Foreign Parts — Paris — Special License Wins Liveipool Cup —
On the Way to Kome — Rome — Birth of my Son and Heir — Some
Account of my Florentine — St. Peter's— I Turn an Honest Penny-
Leave for Marseilles— Railway Accident — Not much Damage — Arrive
in England — Paulett Somerset's Cottage at Englefield Green — Sell the
Florentine — Englefield Green— A Real Bit of Luck— Barber and Saxon.

I AM now going to take my readers across to Ireland, to relate
the particulars of a match I had with J. P. Taylor, an inhabit-
ant of the Emerald Isle, and one who had shown himself to
be possessed of even more than the ordinary agility of his
countrymen.

Some time in November 1857, I received a letter from
Major Brine, E.E., a real active and plucky soldier, as
every one is aware who knew him in the Crimea. He was
as much at home in the advance sap under a heavy fire, as
he was subsequently sailing away through space in his
balloon, with half a gale of wind behind him, bustling his
frail conveyance along at perilous speed. He could run
well, too, and was real fond of it; he and I had several
spins together, and he entertained a high oj^inion of my ^urn
of speed. He wrote from Cork, where he was then quartered,
to tell me that there was a bit of ' ready ' to be picked up if
I would go over and fetch it ; inasmuch as a nimble dweller
in Cork styled himself the champion of Ireland, and he felt
cock-sure that he could vanquish England's amateurs as well
as Ireland's. In those days, mind you, an amateur meant a
gentleman, whether he ran for money or honour, or both — I
used to combine the two. After some correspondence had
passed between us, the following announcement appeared in
the columns of Bell's Life :

IN THE EMERALD ISLE. 183

"'Amateur Race for <£200.^Captain Brine, R.E., on the
part of Lt.-Col. Astley, Scots Fus. Gds., has made a match
with F. Leigh, Esq., for J. Taylor, Esq., of Passage, in the
vicinity of Cork, to come off on or about the 18th of December.
Colonel Astley is expected at Cork from London with Mr. W.
Johnson, his former competitor (late of the Rifles), this week.
The betting is even, as Mr. Taylor, who lately beat JVLr.
Machell (14th Eegt.), has twice beaten Mr. Johnson, and the
latter once beat Col. Astley a foot, but had a yard start.'

To explain the reference to Machell and Taylor's race I
quote from BeWs Life: 'On Nov. 29th, 1857, a match took
place between Lieut. Machell, 14th Regt., and J. P. Taylor,
Esq., distance 100 yards on the " Mandyke Walk," for stakes
of over ,£200. Taylor won by about a yard.'

With the assistance of my faithful little ' Flying Tailor ' I
went through a nice preparation (as they say of the Derby
winner), and a few days before the race, crossed over to Cork
accompanied by Jimmy Patterson (the ' Flying Tailor'), and
in addition to my ordinary luggage, I carried in my right-hand
trousers pocket (the best and safest receptacle a man can stow
anything valuable in) a lovely fat roll of crisp Bank of
England notes for £500, which, being short at my banker's (an
ever-present complaint with me), I had, with commendable
forethought, borrowed of my dear old tailor, Henry Hill, of
Old Bond Street, one of the old-fashioned sort, who felt a pride
and pleasure in furnishing a good and faithful customer, not
only with clothes, but with something to line the pockets with
at a reasonable percentage. We (Jimmy and I) landed at
Cork in due course, and put up with Johnson of the Rifle
Brigade (who had been a pal of mine in the Crimea, and could
run well too) at Passage, just outside Cork, and, curiously
enough, I took my breathers every morning before the race in
the same public gardens that my opponent Taylor took his,
although I never saw him. He had a brother, a ' middy ' I
think, on board one of the men-of-war in the harbour, from
whom he borrowed a couple of ship's chronometers, one being
placed at the start, and the other at the finish of the 100 yards.
Two of his friends used to take the mean time of his trials
(a very primitive and unreliable test). However, it was
confidently reported that he could beat even time (10 seconds),
and as I knew that I could not do the distance under 10 J
rseconds, I felt pretty sure that I should have the opportunity
of doing double or quits for my bonny crisp ' monkey.' ^

1 £500.

184 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

When the day arrived for the race to take place, we drove
to Cork barrack-yard, where the elite of the town and district
were already assembled, and running my eye over the female
portion I thought that I had never seen a handsomer lot of girls.
The soldiers hung out a right good luncheon to all comers,
and the band played delicious music. There were two other
matches, I think, run before mine, and then Taylor and I
were told to get ready. The 100 yards was roped and staked
on either side, and the gravel was nice and firm, as well as
smooth. I won the toss and took the right-hand side, and
then I observed that Taylor wore india-rubber shoes which
fitted him like a glove, but they had no spikes, and when I
found that he was going to run in these shoes I made quite
sure that he would be second ; so with my betting-book in my
hand and my ' monkey ' in my pocket, I ran down the course
offering to back myself, but, much to my chagrin, after I had
bet a level pony (£25), I had to lay odds, and though I chaffed
the Paddy boys well, I could not lay more than £100 to £50.
I finished up by offering to lay two sacks of potatoes to one,
as they seemed to be so precious short of coin. I had to give
up writing down the names of those I bet with, as their
pronunciation of their names was beyond my ken altogether.
However, I do not believe that it made a bit of difference to
me, for, whatever they may be now, the sporting inhabitants
of Cork on that day were a real honest set of men. Well, we
started off, and the little man (Taylor) got a bit the best of
the start, and went fast for fifty yards ; but when I once got
to him it was all over, and I won anyhow. I should like to
have gone double or quits and given him five yards, but he
wouldn't have it at any price. I received a jolly good ovation,
and those with whom I had bet came clustering round me to
pay their debts in nasty dirty one-pound notes ; so I kept my
crisp monkey intact.

After a glass of ' pop ' I foolishly offered to run any one
over hurdles, and a good soldier. Captain Shaw of the 36th
Eegiment, offered to take six yards in one hundred over four
hurdles. I just caught him and made a dead heat of it, but
in the run off I slipped and was beaten easily. BeWs Life says
that I weighed 12 stone 10 lbs., and Taylor 9 stone 12 lbs.
I only know that I never was better than I was on that day,
and am equally certain that Machell could not have been
himself when Taylor beat him ; for I have never seen a
gentleman that could beat INIachell, if as well as he was when
he defeated poor old Johnny Chadwick at Newmarket, when

HORSE-DEALING BY GASLIGHT. 185

his trainer assured me that ' the Captain could do even
time.'

I took the train to Dublin, had ' a bite and a glass ' with
the Coldstreams, and, finding I had time to spare before
starting by the mail-boat from Kingston, I went to a horse-
dealer's yard, being desirous of possessing a real good Irish
hunter, and meaning to invest the £150 that I had won. A
good-looking mare took my fancy, and, to the astonishment of
the dealer, I asked to have her saddled and bridled, and took
her out into a square near at hand, which, I believe, was paved
with cobble stones, and, whether it was the Cork music, the
Dublin ' pop,' or the novelty of trying a horse by gaslight, I
sent that poor mare round the square hard all, and then
returned her to the dealer's man. I handed my bundle of
dirty Irish notes to Julian Hall of the Coldstreams, and asked
him to have the mare out in the morning, and, if sound, to
transfer the notes to the dealer and send the mare to me ; but,
if she was not sound, to send me a cheque for <£150. I then
went off by the boat. Subsequently I heard that the poor
mare came out very feeling, and Hall enclosed me a cheque
for m.y money. My beneficent tailor duly received back his
crisp monkey ; but it was only for a time, as the little animal
was soon required again for some supposed safe investment,
and on this occasion broke loose and took-refuge in some other
person's pocket ; at any rate it fairly quitted mine. Old Hill's
monkeys were of the roving sort— at least those that I had the
privilege of handling, and as I never like tying animals up
too tight, I used to give mine a run, and if they came home
to tea (especially of a Monday i) it was an exception that
brought them, as they never seemed to attach themselves to
their kind master, who doted so fondly on them.

I had no sooner arrived in town, than Captain Smith of the
71st Highlanders was backed by his brother ofiicers to lower
my colours at 100 yards, and, according to Bell's Life, we met
on the 26th of December, 1857, at the running grounds at
Garrett Lane, Wandsworth. This was the first and only time
that my good old dad was present at any of my running
matches ; he was always predicting that I should injiu-e myself
by bursting a blood-vessel, or straining a sinew, or something
of the kind ; but I always told him that such accidents didn't
happen when men were real fit. I could see by the twinkle of
his eye he was proud to see his boy when stripped ; for,
though I am a clumsy old toad now, yet on that sharp, cold

^ Settling day at Tattersall's. — Editor.

i86 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Boxing-Day I was a tidy specimen of humanity at 13 stone.
Two or three of my brothers were also present. Captain
Smith had taken a lot of trouble to get himself ready, but to
my mind he had overtrained, and lacked the ruddy glow which
a man in perfect condition ought to show, after he has set his
circulation in motion by a preliminary or two to counteract
the effects of a biting Christmas breeze.

The match was for a pony,^ and to show that we both felt very
confident, we wagered a friendly tenner together as we met on
the scratch. BeWs Life thus describes the race : ' After a very
level start the Colonel got ahead despite the strenuous efforts of
the gallant Captain, and ran in a winner by a good yard. Much
praise is due to Jimmy Patterson for the splendid condition
in which he brought Lieut. - Col. Astley to the scratch.'
Before putting my clothes on I gave the ' guvnor ' a show,
and ran a C|uarter of a mile against time, doing it in about
54 seconds. I never could do it any faster, but that was
good enough to beat most amatem's of that day. I recollect
once making one of thi'ee men who timed Harry Reed,
the professional, and he just beat 48 seconds — that was
record time then, as was 4 minutes 20 seconds for the mile.
I believe the above match was the last I ran, and as my 30th
birthday came off on February 19th, 1858, I had pretty well
m.ade up my mind it was about time I got wed, and changed
the cinder-path and spiked shoe for the polished floor and
varnished pump. Moreover, two or three of my most intimate
friends had been tied up about that time, and I had of course
assisted at their nuptials.

At one or more of these festivities I had been fortunate
enough to spot a lass who hapj^ened to have been a brides-
maid on two occasions, and, mutual friends having been kind
enough to bring us together at the cheery dinner and the
amusing play, I soon felt that I could not live without her,
and, mind you, she possessed all the essential qualities that
not only attract, but give promise of happiness in the futui-e.
She was comely to look upon, ten years younger than I was,
a beautiful mover, and a perfect horsewoman, fond of music,
good-tempered and cheery. ' What more can a man want ? ' I
hear you say. ' Well, right you are ; ' but still there are
other points, minor details I admit, yet not to be despised.
She was the only child of a well-to-do and well-born squire,
who was not only a perfect gentleman but rode straight to
hounds, and was as highly respected at Quarter Sessions as

1 £25.

THE SLEAFORD BALL. 187

he was in the House of Commons, and, may I add without
prejudice (as lawyers have it), he was a widower ; consequently,
I had only to win the affections of daughter and father. Still,
the prize was one much sought after, and though (as a soldier
ought) I felt brave and hopeful of winning the lady's hand and
heart, I was decidedly timid on the subject of obtaining her
father's consent, seeing that my personal recommendations
were only average, and my banking account mean in the
extreme. Still, I had what soldiers term a ' clean sheet,' no
enemies to crab me (that I was aware of), and lots of true,
good friends to help me ; so I pulled myself together and fairly
went in for the gloves.

I had never set foot in Lincolnshire and, consequently, knew
very few of the inhabitants of that county ; but, having
discovered that my girl was going to two or three balls in her
own immediate neighbourhood, I one evening took train to
Sleaford town. I felt that I must have a comrade to see me
through it, and my trusty and well-tried brother officer, Heggy
Gipps, succoured me. We duly arrived at the principal hotel
the night of the ball, and, there being no vacant room, we had
a screen drawn across one end of the coffee-room, and there
donned our dancing kit and hied us to the ball-room. What I
suffered I shall never forget ; for, though nimble enough on
the running track, I was wonderfully ignorant of how to glide
through the simplest quadrille. Just as I hoped that I was
really improving and making fair running with my partner, I
suddenly heard a crack and found that I had stupidly taken a
tuck out of her lovely ball-dress with my great clumsy hoof.
Oh dear ! oh dear ! would she forgive me and give me another
chance, or only dance with her other admirers who did know
how to move ? At any rate we saw it out, and a dear good
lady who was giving a dance at her own house the following
night, seeing how the cat jumped, asked me to dine, dance,
and sleep there. Oh ! it was j^retty of her, and you bet that I
accepted right off.

The next day I ordered a fly and pair, and told the post-boy
to drive me to Aswarby. I directed him to go by Fulbeck,
and I had some trouble to convince him that I was not off my
head, for the two places lay in precisely opposite directions ;
but ' she ' was staying at Fulbeck, and, though unacquainted
with her hostess, yet my boy Gipps was there, and I dropped
in for luncheon, and a pleasant stroll afterwards, and then on
to Aswarby, and, though I moved yet another tuck during the
dance, I felt I had gained ground ; and, with the help of

i88 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

another visit, when a good old gentleman lent me a hack to
ride with her, I got so far that her father asked me to
Elsham. After some jibbing, he too, consented, and on
the Satm^day of the Derby week, May 22nd, 1858, we were
married at St. James's Church, and all agreed that it was a
right jolly wedding. Poor Jerry Goodlake was my best man,
and we spent the honeymoon at one of the most beautiful
places in this or any other country — namely, Stourhead.

After a short leave, I had to come back for duty in London,
and my battalion was (I think) quartered in the Tower of
London. There were no regular barracks or officers' quarters
in that old fortress then, the men were all stowed away in some
caverns or recesses in the battlements, and the officers hired
rooms in the houses of the various officials. My wife and I
secured the Chaplain's house for the short time we were there ;
but, excepting when I was actually on duty, we didn't spend
much time inside the portcullis.

In the autumn I got leave, and we decided to winter in
foreign parts ; so we started early in November. Our final
destination was to be governed by circumstances over which
I had no direct control — fii'st, we had to find out how the many
discomforts of long journeys might suit my lady ; and,
secondly, how long our very limited supply of cash would last
us. Anyhow we duly arrived in Paris, and ensconced ourselves
in some very comfortable but expensive apartments, and, after
doing all the sights and trying the various chefs at the best
dining-places, occupying boxes at the opera and most of the
theatres, and, English-like, buying a lot of trumpery jewellery
and ohjets de luxe, I became painfully convinced that, unless we
had extraordinary luck, it would be our bounden duty to travel
no further, but to return and economically pass the winter
with my respected father-in-law.

Now it so happened that I had invested a considerable sum
on a horse of Mr. Merry's called Special License, for the
Liverpool Autumn Cup ; but why I had sagaciously selected
this animal to be the means of bringing us the much-needed
winter keep I know not, except that he had won the Liverpool
Cup once, if not twice, before, and thereby shown that he liked
the course, and that his clever old master liked the Cup, or
rather the brass attaching thereto ; but no matter. On the
evening of the day that the Cup was run for we went to the
Opera, accompanied by a good sportsman, and I will not
disguise it that — if you believe me — my undivided attention
was not set on what I heard and saw, but my thoughts were

SPECIAL LICENSE WINS LIVERPOOL CUP. 189

almost wholly engrossed by visions of a boy in yellow, and I
longed to know whether he had been successful in catching the
judge's eye — in fact, I was real glad when the pageant w^as
over. I believe we did the correct thing and risked our night's
rest by partaking of a ^;e^;^^ soiqjer at some cafe, where the
merits of the ^>?-i';?z« donna were being freely discussed with
much excitement and many feverish gesticulations on the part
of the natives ; in fact, they made such a fuss about this p7n7na
donna that I almost feared it was the name of the winner of
the Liverpool Cup, and if so, we must be off home on the
miorrow. However, we were soon en voiture, and as we had to
drop Sir Henry (the sportsman alluded to) at the French
Jockey Club, I begged him to find out what had won, and he
did not keep us long in suspense. Special License was the
2)rimo cavallo, and the donna was not in it this time. I gave
a yell of delight which startled our cocher, and spirited up his
old quadruped into the bargain. I had won £1500 of a good
man, I am not sure that it was not ' Sir ' W. Marshall (of
Billingsgate Hall) ; at all events we could now extend our tour
southward in comfort, not to say luxury. Yery soon after-
wards we left Paris and took the train to Marseilles, where we
hired a voitw^e a cinq chevaux and travelled at the rate of
some thirty or forty miles a day, along a road running parallel
with the sea-board, for the most part enjoying lovely scenery
under a cloudless sky, stopping for a day or two at any town
that looked attractive,

Monte Carlo was not the fashionable resort in 1858 that it
is now, and I forget the names of most of our halting-places,
and a good job, too, for my readers ; but Nice, Mentone,
Genoa, Pisa, Leghorn and Florence I liked best, especially the
latter, which I thought a very pleasant place.

Here I was taken in by a horse-dealer. We w^ere one day
driving in the Cachini — a charming park — and amongst the
m.any fine-actioned horses that were being put through their
paces I was much struck by a grey, a grand mover and fast
withal. Our driver knew where the owner's stables were
situated, and was m.uch pleased when I acquired the animal
for eighty pounds. I flattered myself that he was cheap
as old rags, and inwardly pitied his owner for having been
tempted to part with him at so mean a price. However, we
started on our journey to Pome the next day, and I thought
it would be rather fun to take our new purchase with us. So
I bought a nice strong head-stall and side-rope, and tied the
gallant grey to the back of our cariiage ; and a nice time he

I90 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

had of it, for our driver used to always spring his five horses
into a gallop on arriving near the bottom of a decline, so as
to carry us well up the opposite incline, not a bad plan either;
but my grey was not prepared for this sudden dash of speed,
and, though he was never actually pulled on to his knees, he
must have had some very narrow squeaks for it, his splendid
action and fine shoulders alone saving him. As it was, he
only just escaped having his neck dislocated, and his throat
and jaws were very tender when we unhitched him at the end
of our day's journey. For the remainder of our drive I hired
a boy who was tied on to the luggage behind, and with a long
rope attached to the grey's head-stall he paid out line every
time our driver sprang his horses up a hill ; so by this means
we landed the grey in Eome in fine fettle.

Possibly not many of my readers have ever sat behind five
stallions for days together, as we did, and it may therefore
interest some to hear more about them. They were fairly
bred, thick-set animals, all bay browns, and under fifteen hands
in height, real hardy in constitution, legs, and feet, and seemed
to enjoy their task. The two wheelers were, of course, attached
to the pole, and the three leaders abreast. Whilst at work
you would have supposed them to be the best of friends ; but
as soon as they were unyoked they went for each other like
mad things. Our road ran by the sea-shore nearly the whole
way from Marseilles to Florence, and at the termination of
each day's journey, our coachman, with my assistance and that
of another man, after unharnessing the horses, led them down
to the sandy beach, and the moment our little steeds arrived
at a suitable spot, down they went on the sand and rolled with
keen enjoyment for five or ten minutes, then got up and shook
themselves like a dog does on coming out of the water ; after
which they walked oif contentedly to their stables ; but during
this rolling process if one of them happened to lug the rein or
rope out of the hands of the man who was leading him, he
went open-mouthed at one of his comrades, and it was no easy
task to separate them again.

The only drawback to this otherwise pleasant way of seeing
new country was that occasionally we had to put up for the
night at some wi^etched, uncomfortable road-side inn. Ill-
regulated beds were often inhabited by most voracious and
disagreeable insects ; but they possessed wonderful powers of
discrimination, for they seldom, if ever, meddled with me, but
attacked my lady in the most ruthless fashion, and sometimes
half the night was taken up in hunting for these little

MY GREY FLORENTINE'S MISCONDUCT. 191

wretches, and, when captured, consigning them to a watery
grave. The food, too, at these abandoned halting-places was
very moderate ; for, usually, our meal was deferred till a
rooster had been captured and consigned to the stewing-pot ;
however, as a rule, fair macaroni was to be obtained, and a
decent savoury omelet.

Well, we arrived in the ' Eternal City ' on Christmas Eve,
and soon got comfortably fixed in a house upon the Pincio,
and thereby hangs a tale. It is this, gentle reader. I was
born here (as I have already told you) on February 19th, 1828,
and, right or wrong, I was wishful that my son should be born
on or about the same day on the same spot. If I had not
bought £hat grey stej^per at Florence, I verily believe that
my forethought would have been punctually rewarded, and I
should have been handed down to posterity as a man of extra-
ordinary intellect. But, alas ! the first time I put the grey
into harness and attached him to a T-cart I had hired, I soon
discovered why it was that his owner had parted with him at
what I thought was only half his value ; for, no sooner had I
got nicely settled on my driving-seat, with my lady beside me,
and my waistcoat almost bursting with conscious pride of how
I would show the Roman bloods the way a horse ought to
move, when the instant I gently intimated to my Florentine
that he might start off, he, with a snort of defiance that I
never shall forget, spread out his legs and looked round as
much as to say, ' Just hit me if you dare ! ' He then straight-
way gave three successive bounds forward, and it was by sheer
good luck alone that he did not land us in a shop-window.

The wife of my bosom gave a shriek which went clean
through me, and then, lo and behold ! the grey stepped off and
went as quietly as possible ; and this little episode happened
nearly every time we took our drives abroad. But my wife
was wonderful game, and as I never was particularly nervous,
we got used to our nag's little ways, and only on one occasion
did we come to grief, and that was when the grey slipped up
and broke one of the shafts.

We had a curious experience one day on the Campagna,
when I proposed that my good lady should hold the watch and
testify to the grey's speed between two milestones. The
Roman birds and dogs were not used to horses doing their
mile in three minutes, I suppose : for, when I pulled up, we
had managed to run over an unfortunate dog and, mirahile
dictu, had killed a duck. But you will be tired of Florentine ;
I only mention his pranks because to them I attribute the

192 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

birth of my son and heir on February 6th, 1859, instead of
February 19th, as I had intended.

Never was a man prouder of his first-born than I. Some of
my friends who were in Rome at the time, never met me in
after years without going into fits of laughter, and reminding
me of the fuss I made, and how I alarmed some of the shaky
ones by rushing into their rooms before they were fairly
dressed, to announce the glad tidings. This excitement had
considerably abated by the time that number eight arrived on
the scene (can you believe iti) : for, though we read that
' Happy is the man that has his quiver full' (i. e. his nursery,
I take if?), yet you cannot feed, clothe, and educate said
' quiver full ' for nothing.

I did not, I fear, properly appreciate Eome ; to me it was a
dull and not over-healthy spot. I did go out shooting once,
as the Maharajah Dhuleep Singh had organized a grand day's
chasse in the Pontine Marshes, which we were told were full
of wild boar. Consequently, our party were all equipped with
weapons of precision, and we fully anticipated some good
sport. We were posted by the grand chasseur in the most
likely runs, and the tracks of pigs were certainly apparent,
and kept up our ardour for some two or three drives ; but no
game was seen, and we were all very glad when luncheon was
announced. Our dusky host had provided everything of the
best, and we did ample justice to it. All would have been
well had not the ]Maharajah volunteered to concoct a syllabub,
of which cream and brandy were the principal ingredients,
and, though the mixture seemed to suit the ' Oriental ' admir-
ably, it fairly settled me, and I never recollect having such a
violent headache in my life as that queer stulf produced. I
was roused from my state of stupor later on, and had to take
part in a sweepstakes, each of us being allowed, as a great
treat, to shoot at our empty champagne bottles — a childish
amusement at best, but a horrible bore when blessed with a
throbbing brow.

On the Feast of St. Peter I and two or three friends went
to see the function. On either side of the brass foot of the
statue of St. Peter stood a Pontifical guard with a drawn
sword, and the thousands who came to Eome for the holiday
passed in a long line, one at a time, by the sacred relic, and
kissed St. Peter's metal toe. I was told that the toe of 1859
was the third that had been subjected to similar osculations,
the former toes having been kissed clean away. One of my
friends suggested that I dare not kiss the toe ; so I said, ' I do

AT ST. PETER'S, ROME. 193

for a dollar,' and it was a bet. I fell into the single rank — •
formed much the same as on a crowded day at a railway-
station when you want to get your ticket, and (maybe ^) are
a little late for the train — and went through the same per-
formance. As my turn came I stooped, as the rest had done
before me, and rubbed olf, with the cuft' of my coat, any
moisture which the previous visitor had deposited on the toe.
I then put my lips to the now warm metal, passed on, and
was duly 23aid my wager. I must say that I was glad when I
ascertained that the custodian's sword was still pointing to
the roof of the building, instead of lowered towards my — shall
I say? — sacrilegious body.

I made yet another investment connected with St. Peter's.
One day some of us stood watching some ten or twelve nuns
doing penance by going up some steep steps on their knees.
I, with an eye to business, said that I fancied the action of
the leading nun, and offered to back her against the field to
arrive first at the topmost step, and again the dollar was
wagered. As the feat was a most laborious one, it was some
time before my fancy passed the post ; however, she w^on. I
found out afterwards that I had, in all innocence, been betting
on a certainty ; for, supposing the leader kept well, it was not
etiquette for any of the others to pass her — in fact, it was a
one horse race !

Well, good-bye to the city of my birth ; w^e left it without
regret, and journeyed to Naples, There, of course, we did
Mount Vesuvius, which was quiescent, w^orse luck, but never-
theless a wondrous sight. We spent a day or two at Sorrento,
a lovely spot, from which Naples and its bay makes a charming
picture. At Sorrento we enjoyed good food, really well served,
and a capital glass of wine. Shortly after, we embarked on
board a steamer for Marseilles, but were real unlucky in the
weather ; it blew so hard that we had to run in under the
shelter of the land just south of Corsica, and the proper
nourishment for my baby boy falling short, I had to bribe the
sailors to go on shore through the heavy surf and procure me
a nanny-goat in full profit ; but it cost me a fiver, and a pretty
job I had to coax the ill-conditioned old brute to give down
her milk.

After much delay we arrived at Marseilles, and took train,
one of 2)remiere vitesse (about 20 miles an hour), for Paris.
About half-way we had a smash, which might have been far
worse. As we approached a small station, I heard loud shouts
and shrieks ; so, putting my head out of the window, I saw

o

194 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

another train motionless, some two hundred yards off. 1
thereupon popped my head in again, and told my wife, and
the nm-se, who had the baby on her lap, to kneel down quickly,
and lucky they did, for in another instant we were covered
with broken glass from the windows. I forgot to mention
that we were in a coupe facing the engine, and a nice little
family party we were, consisting of self, wife, and a fat old
French nurse, the baby boy, two spitz puppies, and a canary
in a cage. We ran slap bang into the stationary train, and,
the crash and recoil being over, I looked about most anxiously
to see what damage had been done. My wife and I both had
our faces cut by the broken glass of the windows, which were
shivered to pieces. Fortunately, the corpulent old nurse had
laid the baloy on the seat, and interposed her well-rounded
person between it and the front of the carriage, so the baby
came off all right.

When I had helped my belongings out, I looked in vain for
the canary, the cage which was hanging from the roof of the
carriage was smashed, and at length I espied my darling
dicky-bird flying about in the open. Luckily he took refuge
in the guard's van, where I caught him, and he lived to warble
many a sweet note for years after. We got some plaster for
our cut cheeks, and I had much trouble to persuade the old
nurse that we were real lucky in not being more hurt ; never-
theless, she was not to be comforted, and with low moans kept
complaining of much pain on the side of her — well, person !
It is hard to believe, but a goods train had run off the line,
and another slow train had come up and stopped in rear of it,
and though all this had happened more than two hours before
our train was due to pass through the station, the officials had
never put the danger signals up, or given our driver a word
of warning ; in fact, I had considerable difficulty to induce the
station-master to send an old woman down the line with a red
flag to stop the traffic.

Another train was soon provided for us, and we reached
Paris very late, but without further mishap. Next day I
attended at a notary's, with a view to compensation for our
injuries, but I never got a cent.

Beyond being uncomfortably stiff and very nervous at
crossings for the next day or two, my wife and I were no
worse for our shaking ; but the old nurse was very keen that
I should see how black and blue she was ; but I had not nerve
enough to face the sight ! and we reached England without
further contretemps.

A FORTUNATE MISTAKE. 195

I found my battalion quartered at "Windsor, and we took
Paulet Somerset's cottage at Englefield Green, and spent a
pleasant summer enough. Like a flat, I paid for my Floren-
tine's passage to England, and he was the cause of my being
late for parade on more than one occasion ; his manners got
worse, instead of better, and from his mad plunges our pretty
garden in front of the cottage was considerably cut up. At
last I hardened my heart and sent him to Aldridge's, where
he was sold for a very small sum.

It was during this summer that I experienced yet another
bit of luck over the Liverpool Cup. Eor some reason or other
I fancied a horse called Ancient Briton would win the Cup,
and one morning, the "Windsor baker having come out with
our bread-supply, I asked him to send a wire to my trusty
commissioner at Tattersall's to put me £20 on that horse.
Now it happened that Messrs. Saxon and Barber were joint
as well as separate owners of several racehorses trained in the
same stable. They had two animals in this Liverpool Cup,
Defender, who was first favourite at 3 to 1, and belonged to
Barber, and Ancient Briton, the property of Saxon, and who
was only occasionally quoted in the betting at 10 to L It
was generally supposed by the public, and poor Jimmy Barber
confidently believed, that his confederate Saxon was, like
himself, backing Defender, and that, even if Ancient Briton
ran, he would not interfere in any way with the success
of the favourite ; hence the nice price of 10 to 1 forthcoming
against Saxon's horse, a price that I believe that cunning old
sportsman took to a goodly sum. Well, my commissioner
wired me from Tattersall's, ' Have taken you 800 to 80 A.
Briton ; am sorry to say you are on the wrong one, Defender is
their horse.' I was horrified to find myself with <£80 on the
wrong one, for it was a lot of money for me to lose, par-
ticularly just then, and as I had wired to put £20 only, I
drove to the telegraph ofiice and tried all I knew to find out
how the £20 I had written on a scrap of paper for the baker
to copy on the telegram form could have turned into £80, but
this I never could discover. I went round the sportsmen of
Windsor, and tried every way to transfer part of my bet, but
only succeeded in laying 100 to 10 to the landlord of the
Merry Wives, and he took it as a favour to help me out of
the scrape.

"Well, the day after the race my wife and I walked to the
post-oflQce at Englefield Green to get the newspaper, which at
that time arrived about noon (mind you, there were no special

196

FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

editions in those days), and as we toddled along I fully
expected to find I was the loser of .£70 of the best ; but
skimming over the racing column, my eagle glance hit on
Ancient Briton as the winner of the Cup, and I was a richer
man by £700 — a clear £500 more than if my instructions had
been accurately carried out ! So, though I had been desperate
down on the baker, the telegraph clerk, and my commissioner,
I now, in the most versatile and benign of humours, set to
and blessed them all round.

This was really one of the best bits of sheer good-luck that
I think I ever experienced. Saxon and Barber had a deadly
feud over this event, and never were friends again ; but that
did not concern me. What do you think 1

******

Foot-races in which I took part subsequent to the Crimean
campaign —

Against.

Distance.

Place.

Resull

Army (all comers) .

r200 yards (in hoavy 'y
\ marching order) J

Aldershot

W.

Ditto

100 yards .

Aldershot

W.

Ditto

200 yards .

Aldershot

w.

Ditto

440 yards .

Aldershot

w.

"VY. Beach, Esq

150 yards .

Salt Hill

w.

J. P. Taylor, Esq. .

100 yards .

Cork

w.

Caijt. Smith, Tlstj
Highlandeis /

100 yards .

AVandsworth

w.

Started,

seven times ; Avon, seven ;

lost, none.

My match with Captain Smith, of the 71st, was the last that
I made, and took place on December 26th, 1857.

197

CHAPTER XVIII.

A Break in my Work — When the Cat's Away — Decide to Retire from
Army — Take up our Quarters at Elsham — The Brocklesby Hounds
and Country — I Purchase Cockeye — Anecdotes of Corbett — The Good
Samaritan — Davy of Worlaby — Gaylad and Lottery — Lord Henry
Bentinck and the Burton Hounds — Coursing at Bryn-y-Pys — I Lose a
Good Mare — Take a Perilous Voyage across the River Dee — A Generous
Father-in-law.

September 16th, 1893. N.B. — Early in June my Editor
started for Norway, and, though I promised to send him out
copy twice a week, receiving ample and particular instructions
as to the best days to post the result of my labours, yet the
old adage came only too true : ' When the cat's away, the
mice will play.' The fact is, the weather was so splendid I
could not sit indoors and scribble, and, in addition, I felt that
my friend (the cat in this case) ought to be devoting all his
attention to catching sticklebacks or whatever poisson the
poor followers of our old friend Isaac Walton endeavour to
wheedle out of the Norwegian torrents, and, further, I con-
sidered it would be very rough on him to distract his thoughts
from the rapid rushes of the salmo ferox to the vapid vapour-
ings of the mediocrili docti ; so I took it easy, and waited till
the weather broke and the days shortened.^

I feel, however, that I have not kept faith with my Pub-
lishers or my Subscribers, though I am possibly the only loser
by the delay ; for I had fondly looked forward to producing
this book during the autumn, and was hopeful I might thereby
turn an honest penny, and be in a position to invest a century
or so of my earnings on the probable winner of one, or both,
of the big autumn handicaps at Newmarket. But, alas ! I
feel that I shall be unable even to toss a solitary tenner to
my long-suffering creditors at Christmas. Never mind (though
I fear they will mind), the author is at work again, and let

^ Sir John's consideration for his Editor is beyond all praise ! — Editor.

198 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

us hope the rest has done him good. This sounds to me
wonderfully like the heartfelt aspiration of the trainer of
some dicky-legged racer, after rain had fallen ; but, be that
as it may, I know that if ever I have enough money again to
buy a racehorse, I shall call him ' The Author/ which, to my
thinking, signifies gameness and uphill work. "What odds,
reader, that he does not win the Ascot Hunt Cup 1 At any
rate, I shall back him both ways, if it ever comes off. Well,
to put it shortly, I gave up work at Ascot time, and now
commence again after Doncaster.

As our pleasant time at dear old "Windsor drew to a close,
and the battalion was about to move to London again, and
leave would be hard to get, I, with the approval of my people,
decided to send in my papers and give up soldiering. I had
been eleven and a half years in harness, and, taking the
rough with the smooth, had spent a very pleasant time in the
regiment ; but I was never fond of the art of war, or mechan-
ical drill. What I did like was the fellowship of as good a
lot of brother officers as could be found in the service, and I
was real proud of the splendid body of men who composed
the Scots Fusilier Guards. I refer particularly to my old
comrades with whom I started for the Crimea in 1854.
When quartered at Windsor, and Chichester, I got to know
every man in the battalion by sight, and nearly all by name,
and verily believe I knew the characters of the men better
than any of the other officers. I certainly did of those who
cared for any athletic game or sport, and these were divided
into two classes — men who took part in games and sport, and
men who were as keen to look on and applaud their comrades
when doing well, as the old and present Eton boys are to
encourage the eleven when playing their annual cricket-match
against Harrow at Lord's. Yes ! I knew the men well, and
they knew me, and I don't mind telling you that at Windsor
I more than once helped — or at any rate screened — a man
who had taken a drop too much, and was pulling himself
together, so as to pass into the gate before tattoo, and make
for his barrack-room without being put in the guard-room,
particularly if I knew he was a good soldier and a cheery
mortal, who had most likely not spent a penny in drink, but
had been treated not wisely, but too well, by friends in the
town. However, I am getting on delicate ground. What
would the Commanding Officer or the Adjutant have said if
they had known of my lax principles 1

Another reason for leaving was this : I hold that when an

BROCKLESBY HOUNDS AND COUNTRY. 199

officer gets ' wed ' he either must, in a manner of speaking,
desert — or, I should say, see little of — his wife, or else of his
boon companions of the mess. Thus it came to pass that I
sold my commission, and realized just about what my steps
had cost me, £8000, which money came in very handy ; and
though much of it was wanted by tradesmen and others, yet
I had enough left to buy three or four hunters, which I stabled
at Elsham. Grandpapa was very proud of his grandson, and
gladly found nursery-room for him, and a welcome for us.

I will vary the scene a little now, and spin a bit of a yarn
over the Brocklesby Hounds and their followers. As every-
body knows, the Brocklesby have been kept for generations
by the family of Pelham, the Earls of Yarborough, who have
in the most generous and lordly manner paid the whole of the
expenses, and horses, hounds, and hunt-servants have never
been better turned out in any country. I believe I am right
in saying that the Brocklesby pack has been longer under
command of one family than any other pack in England.^ -In
no other district can there be found so many real good sports-
men amongst the tenant-farmers as in Lincolnshire, especially
in the north-east corner of that extensive county ; and in the
sixties, when I first hunted with the Brocklesby, amongst a
lot of other good men were such as old Tom Brooks of Croxby,
Captain Jack Skipworth (Don Pedro) of Howsham, Edmund
Davy of Worlaby, Billy AYood of Habro', Billy "Wright
of Wold Newton, the Bros. Walker, the Hazletines, the
Erankishes, the Nainbys, old Billy Torr (of Shorthorn cele-
brity), and many others.

About fifty yeomen used to hunt in pink, and kept their
two or three hunters, many of them bred by themselves ; for
in those days there were an extraordinary number of good
horses bred in that country, both thorough and half-bred.
Eitz Oldaker, the saddler of Park Street, used to buy the pick
of the young horses ; he was a great friend of Captain Skip-
worth's, with whom he used to stay for a spell of hunting
every year, and he was entrusted with unlimited commissions
by Baron Bothschild and others. The London dealers also
used to scour our country, and all the best young horses
were bought up before Lincoln Fair came round ; but now, in

^ The earliest intelligence I can procure as to the Brocklesby Hounds,
is that the pack was started about 1720 by Messrs. Tyrwliitt, Pelham, and
Yyner, the kennels being then at Aylesby. The staff consisted of the
huntsman and a boy. Subse([uently the kennels were removed to Brock-
lesby, and the hounds hunted by the Pelham family from then till the
present day. — J. D. A.

200 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

1893, bad times, and consequently diminution of capital and
spending power, has altered the country a lot, and it is the
exception to hear of a real good hunter or a racehorse (worthy
of the name) being bred in the Brocklesby country. The
fields with the hounds have also dwindled much, both in
numbers and pinks.

The squire and I often used to drive to the meets of the
Brocklesby Hounds together, and when they met within easy
reach, the wife joined us, and as the Wolds always rode fairly
light and the fences were small, she enjoyed a good gallop and
went as straight as any one. I bought a good horse about
this time of one of Lord Yarborough's tenants; I called him
' Cockeye,' as he was short of an optic. He was a very clever
hunter, and I saw a lot of sport on him. Corbett kept a few
half-bred mares with two or three crosses of blood in them,
and these he mated with a thoroughbred sire — Cornerstone by
Touchstone, and Morgan Rattler, to wit — and at one time he
had five or six real useful hunters of his own breeding.

The squire had been a very hard rider, and when long past
sixty he would go straight on the Wolds ; but he had terribly
hard hands and all his horses pulled with him in consequence.
Then, again, he was very short-sighted and used to ride in
spectacles, and as the glasses often got a film of steam or rain
on them, he could hardly discern anything. Several stories
were told of him, but the two following I can vouch for : —

One day, wdien the hounds were running, he w^as observed
jobbing his horse's mouth and whipping the poor brute, and
when asked by an old friend why he w^as so hard on his horse,
he replied : ' Why, can't you see how the brute has been
bucking with me, he nearly had me off ! ' and no one was
more astonished than the squire when his friend told him that
the intelligent animal had just jumped three or four sheep-nets
with him, which Corbett, of course, had not seen. Another
time he was seen holding his horse tight by the head, and in
angry tones exhorting an imaginary s]3ortsman to get out of
his way : ' Now then, sir, will you oblige me by standing
aside ! If you won't have it, let me come ; if you don't move
I'll ride over you, &c. &c.,' every moment becoming more
furious. At length one of the field rode up and told him that
it was an old pollard ash tree in the fence that he had been
swearing at. How he escaped real bad falls was a miracle.

One of his best hunters was a wonderful safe conveyance ;
she was a white ticked mare with a very light mouth — a
pleasanter animal to ride could not be ; but his heavy hands

THE GOOD SAMARITAN. 201

did not suit her delicate month, and she used to throw up her
head badly with him. I saw her one day hit the squire an
awful bang on his forehead, and he gave her ' Jack's alive '
round the field, and wdien he eventually pulled her up and I
offered to hold her whilst he got righted, I found him in a
woful plight : both the glasses of his spectacles were broken,
and it was marvellous that none of the glass had gone into his
eyes — he was a game old boy and no mistake. One of the
best horses he bred I sold for him to Colonel Blundell for
£300, who hoped to win the Grand Military with him ; but,
through some accident, it didn't come off, though I believe the
horse was good enough.

Old Will Smith hunted the Brocklesby in those days and
showed some good sport. I recollect a good story of him,
which I often quote when wishing to demonstrate that no
quarrel or petty spite ought ever to interfere with any sports-
man's fellow-feeling towards a brother Nimrod when in
difficulties. An old sporting parson of much experience in
the hunting-field, used to act as master when Lord Yarborough
was not out, and he and the huntsman were old cronies who
knew every yard of the country. It so happened that another
sporting parson, not half a bad sort, an own brother to a
M.F.H. of high renown, was given a living in the Brocklesby
country : he was a go 3d man to hounds, but a bit short of
cash — result being that both his two horses and his hunting-
kit were much past their best. This new parson had made
himself obnoxious to the huntsman, as well as to the deputy-
master ; the one disliked him as much as the other. One day
when the hounds were running fast and the young parson was
going well, he met with a terrible mishap ; for, as his horse
made an extra effort in negotiating a fence, suddenly both
girths broke, and, though the rider w^as not hurt, yet there he
stood by the side of his horse utterly done for. Just then his
two enemies hove in sight : the parson, inwardly chuckling at
his discomfiture, ' passed by on the other side ' ; the old hunts-
man said nothing, but as he passed he cocked up one leg and
then the other, unbuckling one of his girths the while, and
threw it to his foe. Which of the twain, think you, was
friend to he that fell from his horse "? We will allow that
both these old cronies were equally good sportsmen, and
equally good haters of their unfortunate enemy ; but what a
wide difference there was in their humanity !

I think you will agree with me that it was very long odds
on the man that blew the horn on week-days, against the one

202 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

that gave out the hymns on Sunday. The one was real glad
to see his foe on the floor and would not help him ; the other,
though perhaps not over sorry to see him discomfited, yet felt
bound to do what he could for him. The parson rejected, but
the huntsman put in practice the most useful of all injunc-
tions : ' Do unto others as you would they should do unto
you ' ; and again, * If thy enemy thirst give him drink ' — both
which, literally rendered in fox-hunting lore in this case,
mean : ' If a man loses his girths give him one of yours/
Yes ! a good old sort was Will Smith of the Brocklesby.

One of the most remarkable men in the hunt was old Tom
Brooks, who, although he rode 14 or 15 stone, was very hard
to beat when hounds ran. He never wore socks or stockings,
and I don't believe ever felt cold in his feet ; directly he
came in from walking or riding, he used to pull off his boots
and put his feet in cold water. Tom had two sons, the
younger of whom, Harry, was educated at the Bluecoat School,
and during his holidays he used to ride an old grey pony, and
in his long blue coat, yellow stockings, and bare head he was
good to see a long way off ; but he often went the shortest
way with hounds, and is now as good a rider and as smartly
turned out as any one in the hunt. Old Jack Skip worth is
still to the front ; no man has seen a more varied life than he,
and many good stories are told of him when he served as a
volunteer in Don Pedro's army in Portugal. I never knew a
man so passionately devoted to fox-hunting and all that per-
tains to ' the animal ' ; it used to be said that there was not
a litter of cubs laid down that the Captain did not know of
and keep his eye on, till they were fit to take care of them-
selves. He was also a first-class steeplechase-rider.

The finest specimen of a British yeoman I ever came across,
was one of our tenants, E. Davy, of Worlaby. I did not
make his acquaintance till early in the sixties, when he took
a farm of Squire Corbett's of 1500 acres, at a rent of «£3000 a
year ; but I soon found out he was a wonder. He weighed
then about 20 st. and was fond of having a look at the
hounds; but in his younger days, when he could ride 12 st.
7 lb. at a pinch, few men could beat him over a country
between the flags, and many a score times have I set the old
boy going on his favourite subject. He had bought a young
horse, three years old, when grazing in a pasture, and, having
broken and backed him, gave him the name of Gaylad. As
soon as he found out his extraordinary powers of jumping and
staying under heavy weights, he started on a tour round the

GAYLAD AND LOTTERY. 203

principal steeplecliase-meetings, such as Newport Pagnell,
Aylesbury, Brixwortli, and many others ; all the fences being
natural, no trimming and cutting down, but simply a flag
stuck in the hairiest place in the fence, which you had to
leave on the left or right, according to the formation of the
course. Gaylad (he used to say) was never beaten but once,
and that was when a friend rode him (I fancy it was in a
sweepstakes of 100 so vs. each) at Rugby, and ever afterwards
he rode the horse himself, until he sold him to Elmore for
1 000 guineas, and a hundred more if he won the Liverpool ;
and this he did in 1842 (at this time it was a sweepstakes,
12 st. each for all ages), with Tom Oliver on his back, and
the fire with which he used to narrate the leading features of
that race was well w^orth listening to, and so thought many of
my friends whom I have taken over to have a chat with the
old gentleman.

Elmore ran Lottery as well as Gaylad, and he backed
Lottery to win a bigger stake than he did the other. That
paragon of steeplechase-riders, Jim Mason, rode Lottery, and
Tom Oliver, Gaylad. Both horses stood up, and on jumping
into the course by the Canal Bridge, were only separated from
each other by Seventy-four (a grey horse, I think he was).
Well, Lottery was leading till close to the last fence, when
Jim Mason found his horse tiring, and he took oif his cap and
waved it to Tom Oliver to come on if he could, and, as old
Davy expressed it, ' He did come like a shot out of a gun,'
and Gaylad won the race and the old boy's extra hundred.
But no description on paper can touch the old man's spirited
recital : he used to froth at the mouth, and bring his huge fist
down on the table with such emphasis, that it made the glasses
hop about (for we generally had a ' little cold with ' when this
subject was broached).

Poor old Davy, he died in 1891, and I miss him much ; he
was a real honourable, energetic, and clever man, and as good
an agriculturalist as ever paid harvest-wages. He was for-
tunate in having married one of the best of women, and their
produce — four sons and a daughter — have taken after their
parents. The pick of the basket now farms the 1500 acres
his father did, but the rent has dropped from £3000 to £2000
a year, and not far short of £8000 has been laid out in bricks
and mortar on that farm alone — a loss of 33 per cent, in
income, let alone the money sunk in improvements. But I
must hark back to the hunting-field again. I used to get a
day now and again with the Southwold and Burton packs,

204 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

with both of which I have had some very good fun. Lord
Henry Bentinck, who was then master of the Bnrton, was
very keen, and rode some very good horses, besides possessing
plenty of them.

He used to put up at the White Hart at Lincoln, and was
a cynical old boy, a fast friend and a good hater. I am afraid
I annoyed him very much one very hot spring day, when
hounds had run a fox to ground in a big woodland near
Market E-asen ; for when they began to draw again, the
blessed dogs languidly trailed along in lines, one after each
other wherever the cover was thinnest, and presently, coming
to some old gravel-pits half full of water, pretty well every
hound in the pack plunged in, little caring for the solicitations
of their huntsman to ' roust him out,' or ' have at him.' So,
as business was very slack, I innocently asked if any gentleman
had a pack of cards about him, so that we might vary the
entertainment. Alas ! my ill-advised remark was repeated to
Lord Henry, and he did give me a black look or two, I can
tell you, and, sotto voce, reckoned me up right bitterly — as so
good and generous a sportsman had every right to do. He
was a great loss to the country when he passed away. The
young squire of Blankney was his successor, and right well
did Harry Chaplin keep up the prestige of the pack, both on
the flags and in the field, and few men of his weight rode
better to hounds. I also got a day or two occasionally with
Lord Galway, a man after my own heart, the very keenest
either in the saddle or with the gun that I ever met, and his
way of talking reminded me much of George Payne, and that
is a compliment I could pay to no other man.

Two or three times my wife and I went to stay with Peel
of Bryn-y-Pys, my good old pal of Eton and Oxford days, a
first-class host, and a good rider, and Ave had some pleasant
days with Sir Watkin's hounds, then hunted by old Walker, a
typical man of his craft and a daring horseman in that peculiar
country, as well as a charming old boy to have a chat with.
During one of these visits we varied oiu' sport by a day's
coursing on some pastures beside the Dee, and, as bad luck
would have it, I lost a nice mare.

Not long before, I had been down to some country races on
a common near Hungerford, and took a great fancy to a good-
looking mare that won the Y'eomanry race, and I bought her
for c£130 and took her down with me to Bryn-y-Pys. On this
afternoon, whilst the dogs were being put into the slips, I
proposed to a friend that we should try the speed of our nags

A CORACLE ON THE DEE. 205

to a given point some three or four hundred yards off, and
away we started. My new purchase won comfortably ; but I
had no sooner jDuUed her up than she gave a lurch or two,
and, before I could make out what was the matter, down she
fell on her side giving my head a nasty jar on the turf. As
soon as I could extricate my leg from under her, I jumped up ;
but the poor mare never moved — she must have burst some
blood-vessel internally. I got a friendly farmer to put my
saddle and bridle in his trap, and walked to the Dee side
(which was in flood), and a man in a coracle offered to take
me across, and, as it would save a trudge of a mile or two to
the nearest bridge, I stepped into the frail barque and sat as
still as a little mouse (1). Just as we got within 20 or 30 feet
of the opposite bank the coracle began whirling round and
round, and we found we had run on some old submerged
stump or snag, and fully expected to see it peep through the
tarpaulin that covers the framework of this peculiar craft.
However, by dint of shifting our weight, at the imminent
danger of a good ducking, we swung clear, and I was precious
glad to find myself on tei'iYt Jirma again, though much crest-
fallen at having lost my poor mare.

When I got back to Elsham, the squire, in a most handsome
manner, gave me a cheque for c£100 towards buying another
nag, which was an ebullition of generous feeling on his part
that I had not given him credit for, and I accepted it as a
cheering omen that he was getting fond of his son-in-law. I
am not quite sure I hadn't hinted that ' I had bought the
mare for his daughter to ride.' "Well, you know in those
days we shared everything — a very cosy arrangement, and one
that suited me right well.

2o6

CHAPTER XIX.

I Begin to be Short of Money — Some of the Keasons why — Take to Racing
as a Means of Remedying the Evil — A Few Words on ' The Art of
Self-Defence' — The Fight for the Championship — There and Back
again for £5 — The Special Train — At the Ring Side — Contrast between
the Men — The Fight— Police— A False Alarm, but Ring broken up —
My Impressions as to the Probable Result had the Battle been Fought
out — My Wife lets the Cat out of the Bag — General Enthusiasm and
Interest to Learn Details of the Fight — The Times Triumvirate —A
Few Words about Evans' — The New Club— The National Sporting
Club— Slavin and Jackson— A Genuine Display— High Price of Seats
— Room Completely Filled with Spectators — Victory of Jackson.

With a fresh chapter I commence to record a state of affairs
that I fear is by no means novel or fresh with me, namely,
that about this time I began to get very hard up, although
with our joint income of .£1700 a year I admit we had no
right to be, seeing that we could stop as long as we liked at
Elsham ; but, of course, that meant a very quiet, not to say
dull, life, and a certain restraint inseparable from living in
another person's house. Then, again, it was imperatively
necessary that we should have a house in London every now
and again, for when our firstborn, Frank, was nearly two, his
little sister Polly arrived to keep him company. Well, you
couldn't take a decent house for the season in London under
£500, don't you know. Then you couldn't expect your young
and lovely wife to drive about on fine days cooped up in a
brougham; so she must have a park phaeton and a pair of
nice-actioned horses to drive in it. Then, as she was such a
perfect rider, she must of necessity do Potten Row on as
exquisite a hack as her doting hubby could find ; so he gave
£250 for one, and, when that began to lose its action, £300
was pulled out for another.

Of course I might have done as many rich husbands (I am
ashamed to say) do — mount my lady on a forty pounder,
warranted to hammer up and down the Pow in the morning,

USEFUL WITH MY FISTS. 207

and trail the brougham, in the afternoon, and vice versd ; but
I was proud of my girl's equitation, and without doubt she
and her hack were graceful ornaments to the Bow. These
almost necessary expenses played havoc with our limited
income, so I felt in duty bound to try and increase the
balance at my banker's, or perhaps more accui'ately speaking
to diminish the deficit, and the only means I could hit upon
for acquiring wealth legitimately, was by giving more time
and attention to the ' Sport of Kings,' ^ and so it came to pass
that we paid many pleasant visits to friends who lived in the
neighbourhood of Newmarket, and either took a house our-
selves, or shared one with others for Ascot. Every July for
some years we occupied the same rooms at the Bedford at
Brighton, for Goodwood and the Sussex fortnight, and merry
times we had and no mistake ; if I won we spent it, and if (as
sometimes must happen) I lost, well, I insured my life at
three per cent, and borrowed a bit of ready on it at the office
at five — a most legitimate financial arrangement, as all must
admit ; but eight per cent, must, sooner or later (sooner for
choice), seriously curtail one's income.

It stands to reason (no query about that) that, if you do
bet, it must be much safer to back your own horses that you
ought to know all about, than to wager on other people's ; so
I invested a small sum, as a commencement, on a plater or
two, and then gradually increased my stud in quantity and
quality during the twenty odd years I owned racehorses ; till
in 1884 I got broke, and have remained jolly well casse ever
since. Some of my experiences as an owner I will try and
recollect later.

Though I may shock the refined feelings of my fair readers,
I purpose now to touch on the championship of the world.
Up to the sixties, England could claim to he facile princeps at
every athletic sport, in the nineties we are out of it altogether.
Can the advance in education be the cause 1 I rather lean to
the notion myself. In my time I have seen many real good
men with their fists, and have taken a lot of interest in the
' noble art of self-defence,' and though never a flier myself,
yet I was useful, and learnt enough to imbue me with suflicient
confidence that in any ordinary riot I could take my own
part with my bunch of fives, and that therefore I had no need
to carry a revolver, dagger, or even a heavy stick — the latter
a cumbersome article which in a row you might drop or have

1 Mr. Jorrocks claims hunting, not racing, to be the * Sport of
Kings. ' — Editoe.

2o8 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

wrested from you ; but your knuckles you cannot leave
behind, nor can they be borrowed of you.

Talking of a row, I mean where the vigilant ' bobby ' has
got it into his head that he ought to interfere with your
liberty and lock you up, or run you in. Now, when you find
the 'man in blue' close on you, and you are desirous of
getting a good start and trusting to your speed and knowledge
of the locality to get you out of the scrape, at this exciting
juncture, I say, use your knowledge of the art ; of course you
must not mark the ' hofficer,' but just up with your hands
and feint with your left at his tummy — he is pretty sure to
bring his head forward ; and, even if he don't do what I
suggest, try with your right to knock his hat off — it's 100
to 5 he stoops to pick it up — then give him a good shove
(mind, don't assault the officer !), and before his stomach
reaches the ground, start off at your best, and with luck you
ought to get round one, if not two, corners before the custodian
of the peace has righted himself, and put his (maybe squashed)
hat on again. I am not guessing, because I have tried it ;
but then it was in the fifties, when the police wore tall hats
and I was speedy ; but I am wandering from my topic.

On the 17th April, 1860, Tom Sayers, champion of England,
aged 34, weight about 11 stone, height about 5 feet 10 inches,
was matched against J. Heenan (the ' Benicia Boy '), aged 26,
weight 13 stone, and height 6 feet 1^^ inches, for the champion-
ship of the world ; and this battle was really an international
one, and it created immense excitement in both hemispheres,
not only amongst sporting men, but also amongst the most
refined and highly cultured of all degrees and both sexes, to
very many of whom the term ' prize fight ' was up to that
time associated with everything that was most blackguardly
and disgusting. "Well, as I had been to many merry mills,
and was not averse to seeing two well-trained boxers try
conclusions (that is an inoffensive term I flatter myself), I,
and three other pals, made up a party to go together wherever
we were told ; and right well the secret of the rendezvous
was kept — all the information we could obtain was that a
train would leave London Bridge 'twixt three and four on the
morning of the fight. You may be sure we were there in
good time, and provided with a nice little hamper of food and
liquid, calculated to sustain us for a twenty-four hours' outing,
if necessary.

We ensconced ourselves in a first-class carriage, having each
paid £5 for a ticket with the somewhat vague inscription on

FIGHT FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP. 209

it ' There and Back ' ; and we were told not to trouble our
heads or ask any questions at the stations we might have to
stop at ; but that when our train pulled up at some nice quiet
spot, not one hundred miles off, we should see the ropes and
stakes duly set up, and w^ere to hasten to the ring-side and
secure good places. When our train arrived at Kedhill
Junction, we were shunted off the main line and found our-
selves steaming towards Farnborough, just short of which
the train stopped, and we all bundled out. After clambering
over a fence or two, we took our places at the selected spot,
the ring being pitched on a nice level bit of turf on the
Aldershot side of the line. Our train had been dodging about
for some time, as far as I recollect, and it was past midday
before the men appeared.

No time was lost in turning them out ready for the fray,
and, gentle reader, you won't be surprised to hear that, as the
day was warm, they mutually agreed to dispense with any
gloves, and, lest they might spoil their clothes, they stripped
to their waists. Wonderful fit and well-trained they both
looked and felt. The contrast betw^een the two men was most
remarkable. Heenan was a perfect model of a big man, his
skin was as white as a lily, and he looked delicate ; his only
fault (for a fighting man) was his too pretty waist, he lacked
power across his loins. Sayers was as brown as a berry and
looked as hard as nails, was square across the shoulders, and
much more powerful as to his loins than his rival. Then,
again, Heenan was three to four inches taller, two stone
heavier, and eight years younger than Sayers. I can recollect
quite well now, that a feeling of dread came over me when
the men stood up and shook hands, and on the referee calling
time, put themselves in position for the first round.

One reasoned after this wise : could our little man, wonder
though he was, ever reach the stranger's optics, and would
not his age, and the hard life he had led, tell terribly against
him 1 On the other hand, one was cheered with the knowledge
that he had licked as big, and as heavy men, on several
occasions, also, that out of his fourteen battles he had only
been beaten once, and then by the very cleverest of his day
(Nat Langham), in addition to which our champion had
proved himself the very gamest of the game ; we had more-
over to learn how the stranger would take his gruel, and of
that he was sure to have a good dose.

' Time ! Order, please ! ' The battle has begun. Sayers
when sparring stooped a bit and kept his guard very high ;

p

2IO FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Heenan stood bolt upright and kept his hands low, and his
arms playing loosely from the shoulder. Wonderful to relate,
Sayers seemed to have little difficulty in getting over Heenan's
guard, and his blows seemed to have more powder behind
them than the big man's — at any rate they marked the softer
texture of the ' Benicia Boy's ' delicate skin, soon causing his
eyes to look very queer j but Heenan was very busy, and
every now and then got home a swinging blow. It was in
guarding one of these heavy lunges that Sayers' right arm
was seriously injured, in fact rendered almost useless. At
the end of two hours it was a toss-up which man would win.
Heenan was nearly blind, though strong on his legs ; while
Sayers was getting very distressed and groggy on his pins —
suddenly a cry of police was raised and the ring was broken up.

It now became a case of sauve qui j^&ut ! I don't believe
there was any cause for alarm, as only a solitary ' bobby '
hove in sight, more out of curiosity than any other motive
(not sure he was not bird's-nesting), but all skedaddled towards
the train that was waiting for us on the line, and, as I was
running across a meadow, I saw Heenan tumble — there was
quite a small grip or surface drain in the field — but, though
his legs were all right, his eyes were bunged up, and over he
went. This ended the international championship in a not
altogether satisfactory manner.

My own impression was that, had it lasted another ten
minutes, Sayers would have been unable to come to the
scratch ; but, on the other hand, if he could, Heenan would
have been too blind to find him. So it was given a draw,
and both men were presented with a belt ; Sayers resigned
the championship and never fought again. A subscription
was raised for him and a goodly sum subscribed, with which
a life-annuity was purchased for him j but, though his physique
and pluck were undeniable, he had no sort of self-control, and
couldn't say ' no ' when offered a drink by well-meaning but
idiotic admirers. I once met him in Trafalgar Square, and,
seeing how dicky he looked, I expostulated with him and told
him he would soon kill himself if he didn't keep his elbow
down. His reply was, 'How can I] How many sorts do
you think I have taken between Saint Martin's Church and
Charing Cross *? Why, twenty-two ! ' And so the gamest
and most resolute man when in condition, became the softest
and most irresolute creature when out of employment. He
passed away, and it is the old price — 1000 to 5 — we ne'er
shall look upon his like again.

MY WIFE LETS THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG. 211

Kow, to end the story of that championship day. We did
get ' There and Back,' and seldom have I been more tired.
Nevertheless, I had to escort my wife to dine with some real
swells in Prince's Gate, so braced myself up for the job ; but
as I mounted the stairs to the drawing-room, full of highly-
cultured males and delicate-minded females ' all in the book,'
I felt I must disguise my whereabouts for the past eighteen
hours, and fondly thought I had squared my better half not
to mention the subject. But, no sooner had we entered the
richly-furnished apartment, brilliant with light and the sparkle
of jewels, and redolent with the fragrance of the choicest
exotics (quite different from our ' There and Back ' stuffy
saloon), than I with the greatest astonishment heard Lady
' High Church ' asking Lord ' Woolsack ' if it was true that
dear Tom Sayers had had his arm broken by that horrid huge
American. The Bishop of ' Farnborough ' also was being
congratulated by Lady ' Suffering ' that the championship had
been brought off in his immediate neighbourhood, and as, of
course, he was there, could he tell her all about it, &c. &c.
Then I heard my wife let the cat out, when our hostess told
her she was dying to hear all particulars, and was her hubby,
the Colonel, there? I was immediately surrounded and
catechized in the most searching manner by all the women in
the room, and had not his Lordship (our host) in the most
authoritative manner seized Lady ' High Church ' and half
dragged her down to dinner, our tortue daire would have been
cold and spoilt. Yes ! it was very funny to note the enormous
interest that championship produced, even amongst the most
namby-pamby and simpering of females.

There was a long leading article in that most proper of all
papers, the Times, on the day after the fight, and so high and
full-flavoured were the encomiums heaped on the combatants
and the noble art generally, that it was currently reported by
those in the know in Paternoster Row, that the proprietor
and editor were going into strict training. Doctor Bussell
was to see fair play and hold the watch, and, if he could get
rid of 3 st. of adipose tissue, he was to take on the winner, on
condition that neither the merry twinkle of his left eye, nor
the humorous winkle of his dexter orbit, were to be in any
way interfered with by the gouty or mutton fist of his
antagonist. However, the stakes were never made good, and
the tempora triumvirate kept their tempers, so the temptation
evaporated.

Talking of stakes, isn't it remarkable that the two best

212 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

gladiators in the world were content in 1860 to risk their
reputations, and, maybe, the alteration of their profiles, for
£400 without gloves, and now in 1893 the pick of the present
race of sparrers won't put on their gloves unless they have
from £1000 to £5000 offered them? March of education
indeed ! why, now a man with a fair knowledge of the noble
art can earn more money with his gloved hands in an hour,
than most senior wranglers do in a decade, though, instead of
putting their gloves on, they burn the midnight oil with a
wet towel wrapped round their aching brows. I have not
yet (1893) given up an occasional peep at the ropes and stakes
now so deftly fixed in the boarded floor of the Covent Garden
building, that once was popular under the name of ' Evans','
and renowned for melody of a very varied description, and
where I have enjoyed many a real hearty laugh and a tooth-
some supper at the same time. I don't know — worse luck ! — ■
where you can now bring off the double event — do you ?

Subsequently, this same structure was well known as the
New Club, and there many a first-class concert and finished
charades were enjoyed by the upper crust of the fashionable
world ; but that speculation having failed, it is now the home
of the National Sporting Club, and though the society there
(all male) is a little mixed, yet the boxing competitions, and
an occasional contest, are well worth seeing, and wonderfully
well conducted. It was there last year I witnessed P. Jackson
(the coloured champion) and F. Slavin, a real well-matched
pair of heavy weights, spar for a very large purse, and a
rattling good show it was ; the amphitheatre was full to
repletion (many of the best seats fetched £25 that evening).
It was a real genuine display of boxing, and ended in the
victory of the darky, who perhaps ought this day to be
champion of the world, and a very civil, well-spoken man is
Peter Jackson. Now I won't bother my readers any more
about boxing, though personally I hope to witness, for years
to come, many a good set-to, and wish the noble art of self-
defence may prosper and be long appreciated.

213

CHAPTER XX.

A Trip to Baden— Paris en oroide— The Board of Green Cloth— My Wife's
System of Backing Number 31— Vultures of the Tables— ]S"o Luck—
My Notes Diminish Daily — The Duke of Hamilton and his Team-
Baden Steeplechases — Vicomte Talon— A Real Good Rider and a
Plucky One— The Baths at Loesche— A Shooting-Party— Gorgeous
Costumes the Order of the Day— Xe Hoi de Chassc—k Few AVords
about Pigeon-shooting— The Old Red House, Battersea— Frank Heath-
cote — Beeswing, Ancient and Modern — A Tough Antagonist in Sir
Hedworth Williamson — Sixteen All— A Lucky Kill— Sir Richard
Sutton— Ninety-two out of One Hundred Pheasants with Flint and
Steel—The Present Duke of Devonshire Wrecks ray Book on the
Pigeon Handicap by Winning it— Nice Odds, 100 to 2 Twice — Hornsey
Wood Built over — Gun Club, Shepherd's Bush.

As both self and wife were fond of seeing life, and not averse
to a turn at the tables or a peep at the board of green cloth,
w^e decided a trip to Baden-Baden would be a nice change for
us ; so, leaving the turtle-doves, or two young Astleys, under
the supervision of their grandpapa, who was bigbly honoured
by the confidence we reposed in him, we started in August,
soon after the expiration of the Sussex fortnight.

Of course we travelled via Paris, where we spent a few days
and looked up our haunts of '68, and duly arriving at Baden,
we took possession of some pleasant rooms in one of its best
hotels. We soon found that a fair sprinkling of our friends
were located at this gay and idle rendezvous, and we made up
many a pleasant little dinner-party at the restaurant of the
KUrsaal, adjourning afterwards en masse to the spacious rooms
then dedicated to trertte et quarante, and roulette. As our
capital was limited and we were new to the use of the rake, we
began by staking only small sums ; but as our insight into the
merits of these games of chance became sharpened, we put
down our money with more nerve and dash, and, gaining con-
fidence in the croupiers, occasionally left our winnings down
for a run ; but, deary me, though w^e (as Lord Tommy once
described his doings at roulette) played right well, yet we had

2T4 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LTFE.

no luck, although, fortunately, we didn't lose much ; neverthe-
less we could not make a pile.

My good lady had discovered a certainty (at least it was
almost a certainty, and I don't mind telling you the secret) :
she would sit tight till she saw number 13 come up at roulette,
and then dash down her coin on number 31,i and, curiously
enough, she brought it off several times ; but, from experience,
I can affirm that even that well-thought-out, though not very
complicated, idea, is not good enough to bet upon. Of course,
some of our friends, old hands at the game, confided to us
systems by which it was next to impossible to lose ; but most
of these good things require an amount of capital to carry them
out which we didn't possess, and I confess that neither my
brain nor my purse were ever equal to the strain. It was very
amusing to watch the twitching countenance of some nervous
players, and the phlegmatic sangfroid of others ; what irritated
me most was the cool impudence of some of the old girls, who
from time to time I found placing themselves next to me.

I presume they put me down as un Monsieur tres doux, not
to say bon garr^on, well suited to their little game, which was
simplicity itself. One or other of these old hens would wait
till I staked, then, just as the croupier was declaring h jeu est
fait, she would pretend to stake too, but never left it down ;
if I won and was being paid, she calmly raked in my money,
and when I mildly protested that she was appropriating my
coin, she broke out into a paroxysm of fury, and in strident
tones declared, * Mais, dit-on, c'est cl moi, Monsieur ; ahsolument
cest a moi,' and, if I didn't give in, she indignantly appealed
to her accomplice, ' Mais, Marie, n'est-ce pas c'est a moi ? Vous
me Vavez vu 'placer la dessus ? ' and t'other old hen promptly
cackled her corroboration ; and as I confess to being very timid
when having anything to do with aged ladies — especially those
of any foreign nationality — I for peace and quietness' sake
usually resigned my winnings to these old harpies. But some-
times the croupier, who knew well the jeu de ces vieillesses,
came to my rescue and declared he noticed me stake ; but not
so my persecutors. These croupiers were not half bad fellows,
and much appreciated an act of honesty.

It was the year Blackdown won the Goodwood Stakes. I
had been a good winner that Sussex fortnight, and, having a
mind to let some of my superfluous cash (what a mockery that
sounds now I am so wonderful short of ready ! ) have a run,

1 History repeats itself, as I believe that the Bank at Monte Carlo was
broken in this very manner in April (1894). — Editor.

MY FRIEND THE CROUPIER. 215

on starting for Baden I took with me twenty crisp £100 notes,
and felt pretty sure (not certain, mind you) that with a good
bank I could play ' Old Harry ' with the management. Well,
the very first night I played I put down one of my £100 notes
and declared le moitie on the rouge; up it came, and the
croupier raked in my note to see its value. After turning it
over and over, and examining it most minutely (at one moment
I fancied he was trying to get at its worth by smelling it), he
said, ' C'est trois cents livres sterling, fiest-ce pas, Monsieur ? '
' Non; seulement un cent,' I replied. He, not liking to own
his ignorance, coaxingly averred, * Mais non, cest plus que p,'
when suddenly one of the old hens above-mentioned gave me a
nudge, and with a severe look whispered : ' Mais oui, Monsieur,
il a raison. Soyez vous tranquille, il vous payera cent cinquante.'
But, though I fully appreciated that Satan in the disguise of
this old hen was at my right hand, I rebuked and bade the said
old hen go to Gehenna, while I firmly demanded : ' Cinquante
livres seulement,' which was paid, the croupier bowing with
benign expression the while, and he evidently put me down as
a hrave sahreur.^

Well, when play ceased for that night I found I had several
rouleaux of louis, and, wishing to change them for one or two
of my notes which had strayed into the banque, I straightway
tapped at the door of the bureau, where the croupiers were
making up their gains, upon which an attendant opened the
door and authoritatively informed me that under no plea could
any one enter there ; but I insisted, and my friend the croupier
above-mentioned appeared, and with many bows invited me to
come in, and most civilly exchanged my louis for my £100
notes ; and this exchange went on for several nights. Still,
my notes were gradually engulfed as luck turned against me,
and soon I had nothing to barter for them. I finally kept the
last of my twenty, with which to pay our return journey home.
It was annoying to leave these nice crisp bits of paper behind
me ; but I fondly hoped that, once back again at Newmarket,
there were lots more of the lost sheep to be found on that jolly
old heath.

Play was not the only amusement at Baden, for there was
some capital racing at Iffetzheim, a very pretty course about
five miles off ; and the display of brilliant equipages in and
on which pretty well two-thirds of the visitors and well-to-do

^ There may possibly be some who would hardly deem the foregoing
sentences pure Parisian French. It is not always spoken at Monte Carlo,
as many can testify. — Editor.

2i6 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

denizens of the Ducliy drove to the race-course, was a wonder-
ful sight. It was on that road that I first saw the present
Duke of Hamilton ; he was driving a splendid team of four
white stallions with flying manes and tails, a real eye-opener.
How folks would stare if that good Duke would only give us a
show with a similar turn-out, at a meet of the coaches at the
Magazine in Hyde Park !

The steeplechase course w^as very peculiar. On part of it,
the horses almost disappeared from view in a broad track cut
through the standing maize, and about half-a-mile from the
finish the horses had to descend a very steep bank on to the
flat race course ; therefore it required fine nerve on the part of
the rider to send his half -beaten horse safely down this minia-
ture precipice. One of the Princes Esterhazy — a real good
sort — rode the winner of the big steeplechase that year, and
his success I put down to the pluck with which he chanced that
dangerous descent. We — the English division — had great
hopes of winning with old Bridegroom, w^ho had won the
Liverpool, and belonged to a cheery and good sportsman,
* Cherry Angel,' wdio was at Eton with me ; but the peculiari-
ties of the course puzzled our horse, and we lost a lot of money
on him.

Yicomte Talon, the very pluckiest foreigner I ever knew,
rode in the Grand Steej^lechase ; he had been ill for some time,
but was determined to ride. He had only arrived at Baden
that morning, and felt so bad he had to lie down in the
jockeys' dressing-room till it w^as time to weigh, and though
we all tried to dissuade him, he mounted and rode the course,
but was terribly exhausted when he got off his horse. I had
known him well in the Crimea, where he was on the French
Headquarters Staff ; he rode in several of our race-meetings
out there, and no cheerier comrade ever lived. I met him
afterwards at Cheltenham Steeplechases, and that day he had
one of the most frightful croppers I ever witnessed : his horse
hit some stiff posts and rails and fairly rolled over him, and
though insensible when carried to the weighing-room, he came
to in time to ride again that afternoon. Poor Talon ! he was
the best ' Froggy ' I ever knew, and so say all of us.

On one of our trips to Baden (I find from a letter I sent
home in 1863) we journeyed via Paris and Geneva to Cha-
mounix, and there took a ramble, which I thus describe : ' The
next day we went up the Montanvert, and crossed the Mer de
Glace, a rather perilous performance for ladies, as you have to
walk along narrow ridges of ice, with deep crevasses each side

BATHS OF LOESCHE. 217

of you, and occasionally mount or descend by steps cut in the
ice ; thence we returned by the Mauvais Pas, a path in the
face of a declivitous rock where you held on by a rope, and so
reached Chamounix again. Started next day over the Tete
Noir to Martigny, and caught the train for Vevey, fourteen
hours' journey, and jolly stiff we both were ; however, the
Hotel de Trois Couronnes at Yevey is charming, and so we
stopped there two days, remaining over Sunday, and I rowed
the wife to Chateau Chillon and back, and looked up my old
quarters at the Maison Puenzieux, where I lodged in 1847,
and next day went by train to Sion, and then drove to the
baths of Loesche, and funny baths they are !

'Next morning, very early, we were shown into a dark sort
of cave, and felt our way into a large pool of muddy lukewarm
water, with rude stumps stuck up here and there for seats.
After paddling about in this dimly-lighted bath, we dressed
and started at 6.30 a.m., and ascended the Gemmi Pass, a
wonderful path cut zigzag in the face of a huge steep rock, up
which the wife far outpaced me, and while I was blowing hard
en has I saw her en haut, looking more like a rosy apple sus-
pended over one's head in a tree, than a matron struggling up
a precipitous rock,

' We walked on six hours to Kandersteg, then took trap to
Interlacken, where we arrived at 8 p.m. (a fairish day's work),
and shall go on by Lucerne and Bale to Baden, spend a few
days there, then down the Rhine to Cologne, and home by the
middle of September.'

During one of these visits to Baden, I was asked by
Monsieur Benazet, the lessee of the KUrsaal and receiver of
the coin realized at the tables, to take part in a day's shooting
he had organized in the neighbourhood, and a most amusing
day we spent. On mustering at the appointed spot, we num-
bered some twenty guns (over than under), and many of the
haute noblesse were there, and not a few of these grands
chasseurs were splendidly attired in costumes a long way in
front of any I had seen before — more picturesque than ser-
viceable, for the most part. Much pains had been bestowed
on their headgear, for every hat or cap was bedecked with
some trophy of the chase — pigs' tails, ears, and bristles were
de rigueur, and tit-bits of the wolf, badger, fox, and roe-deer
were, together with selections from peacocks' and pheasants'
tails, evidently much prized.

Several of the most distinguished were attended by jiigers,
or keepers, each of whom was a perfect study, for much money

2t8 fifty years of MY LIFE.

and thought had been bestowed on their venatic appearance.
I felt humble, yet confident ; humble, because my boating
jacket, flannel trousers and straw hat, borrowed gun and
freshly-caught boy to carry my cartridges, did not harmonize
with the gaudy get-up of my brother shooters, and confident
because I inwardly despised the killing powers of these pictur-
esque sportsmen. A vast army of beaters had been collected,
and they were deployed into a long line, stretching over a
large tract of country, consisting principally of cultivated
land, cropped with maize, tobacco, pulse, &c. As soon as the
guns were posted, the advance was sounded by bugle-call ; the
game was soon astir, and the fusillade began.

Partridges and hares were fairly plentiful, and on the beaters
coming up, we guns were conducted to the most recJierche
luncheon, at which I arrived later than the rest, as I had
been hunting for a wounded partridge ; and as I joined my
comrades, the chairman (a tremendous swell) was giving the
toast of the roi de chasse, that being the title of the party who
had killed the greatest number of hares. As I was taking my
seat, my neighbour asked me how many I had killed, and on
my producing a handful of hare-scuts from my pocket, he
counted them over, and, jumping up, excitedly informed the
company I was the veritable roi de chasse, and my health was
drunk with much enthusiasm ; though I fancied there were a
few of the tiptop and highly-caparisoned sportsmen who didn't
quite relish being beaten by the party in boating-jacket and
flannels. We had another drive in the afternoon, and so
ended a most enjoyable day. Now, good-bye to Baden, and
though I confess I never returned from there a winner, yet,
what with the climate, the racing, the play, and the many
curiosities of a mixed society, I always left it with regret.

As I have been describing my luck with the German hares,
it may not be out of place to touch on an almost milder sport,
but one which requires more nerve and quickness of aim — •
shooting pigeons from the trap. I had only been a few times
to the Old Red House, Battersea, where all the besb shooters
of the day were accustomed to try their prowess at the trapped
blue rock, and where the shooting principally consisted of
matches at a certain number of birds for large bets ; but when
the Old Bed House was done away with, and its site became
part of Battersea Park, the venue was changed to Hornsey
Wood, and there the principal attraction became large sweep-
stakes, and the good, moderate, and bad shots were supposed
to be all brought to a level by the astute handicapping of old

THE GREAT DERBY DOVE HANDICAP. 219

Frank Heathcote (a near relative of the squire of that ilk),
who then lived at the Durdans at Epsom, and was a well-
known jovial and eccentric sportsman, who kept the Surrey
Staghounds, and owned some racehorses ; the best of them was
the modern Beeswing (not to be confounded with the famous
mare of that name), who won the Chester Cup for him, as well
as several other good races.

Old Erank Heathcote was very successful at adjusting the
distances at the Great Derby Dove Handicap of May 28th,
1863, the scale ranging from thirty-one down to twenty-one
yards from the five traps. Writing from memory, I think
there were sixty or seventy shooters. I stood at twenty-four
or twenty-five yards, and was not well in at that ; but,
favoured by good luck (and some very useful second barrels),
when I had killed twelve birds consecutively, only the present
Sir Hedworth Williamson and myself had not missed, and we
proceeded to shoot oU the tie. There was plenty of chaff and
mirthful badinage, but it was a real serious business for me,
for I was just then suffering acutely from a more than
ordinary attack of impecuniosity, and besides the handsome
sweepstakes (I fancy it was £5 each), I had started a pretty
little £100 book, on which I had got round and a bit over,
having taken a liberty with some of the crocks I didn't fancy ;
so mine was not a square but a round book, you understand.
Much to my satisfation, my rival proposed that we should
divide. ' Not me,' I said, ' I am going for the big money, my
boy. Eire away ! ' and the poor doves had a bad time of it.
We both killed the next four. I had an awful squeak with
one of my birds, which looked all over like topping the
boundary fence, but hit it and fell back dead, or, at any rate,
was gathered.

Sixteen all, and up went the Northern Bart, (with a lot too
much confidence to please me) for the seventeenth shot, and
out of the wrong trap for him darted as slippery a little blue
rock as ever cooed on a roof, and though slightly tickled, that
dear little bird made its escape, and I grassed mine, and so
won the handicap, killing seventeen birds consecutively — not
a bad performance in those days, and, of course, there is no
knowing how many I coidd have accounted for, don't you
know.

Whether pigeons have deteriorated or not is doubtful, but
it is quite certain that there are plenty of men who can beat
my score now, and men of all nations, too ; but arms of pre-
cision have wonderfully improved in the last thirty years.

220 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

All the same, we had an old keeper at home who solemnly-
declared to me more than once, that he loaded for old Sir
Richard Sutton on one 1st of February, when he killed ninety-
two cock pheasants out of one hundred shots, with a flint-and-
steel Joe Manton, at one stand at the end of a fir-plantation
at Elsham — how is that for high? I was not always so for-
tunate with my pigeon book, for well I recollect laying the
present Duke of Devonshire 100 to 2 against himself, and on
his challenging me to do it twice, I promptly acquiesced,
thinking I had caught a flat ; but it was a Tartar for my little
volume of only £100, for he won the handicap, and that was
my first introduction to the statesman whom Old England
now honours, as the most disinterested and high-minded of all
her sons.

When Hornsey "Wood was built over, pigeon-shooting was
revived at Hurlingham, and the Gun Club at Shepherd's Bush,
and I used frequently to take my chance at the former plea-
sant grounds, but gradually resigned the unequal contest to
younger and c^uicker shots.

221

CHAPTER XXI.

Harking Back a few Years — How I took to Eacing — Famous Horses I
have Seen — Goodwood in 1849 — Blink Bonny and the Leger — A Good
Investment for Metropolitan and Chester Cup — A Dead Heat between
Three for the Cesarewitch — George Fordham — Extraordinary Perform-
ance of Sweet Sauce — The Croagh Patrick Objection — The Stewards'
Decision, Nine Months after the Pace — I become an Owner of Race-
horses— My First Purchase, Hesper — Richard Drewitt of Lewes — One
of the Past Race of Trainers — Little Wonder, an Early Foal— Mrs.
Drewitt and her Bonnets — George Fordliani's Meiits both as Jockey
and Man — Trials at Lewes — Fordham's Loyalty to his Master — Hesper's
Performances — Levity and Neptunus — The Grass Widow pulls me
through — Farfalla — Add to my Stud— Disposing of a Tout — Black-
down's Trial for the Goodwood Stakes — Backing the Favourite —
Blackdown wins ! — ' Gruncher ' Greville — &c.

I MUST now try and write, as concisely as I can, my varied
experiences of the sport I like best of all, namely, horse-
racing. How I first took to it I know not, for none of my
ancestors that I know of ever owned a racehorse ; and though
my father was wonderful fond of the animal, yet he abhorred
any allusion to racing, and always declared that a race-course
was the sink of iniquity. Why he was so bitter against it
I never knew ; maybe it was on account of having been
swindled out of a considerable sum of money in his youthful
days by the original Goody Levi, at a small country meeting
which was held on the downs near Alresford, perhaps on the
very same ground now so w^ell known as the training-quarters
of dear old Arthur Yates. That money was not lost in betting,
but at a little game of chance with dice, which at that time
was much in vogue where sportsmen congregated, and as the
races were few and far between, they made out the time w^ith
a main of cocks, or by shaking the box. Be that as it may,
the governor was rooked, and ever afterwards was full against
racing.

1 don't believe I was ever on a race course, barring a hurried
rush to Ascot when I was at Eton, till after I joined the

222 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Guards in 1848 ; and I think the fii'st time I did a four-day
meeting comfortably, was when quartered at Chichester, and
we entertained a real cheery party in barracks for the
Goodwood week. Ah ! those were jolly days, and no error.

We will skip over the intervening years till we come to
1856, the year I returned from the Crimea. When at the
Houghton meeting at Newmarket I set eyes on the hardest
and gamest bit of horseflesh that ever was shod — for he was
not often plated — namely. Fisherman, by Heron, and owned
by Tom Parr, who had a real good time that week, winning
the Cambridgeshire with Malacca, and the Free Handicap with
Fisherman. Here I must note that the Cauibridgeshire Trial
Plate (and it was a trial in those days) of 50 sovereigns was
contested by 22 starters. But to return to Fisherman : he
started thirty-four times and won twenty-four — twelve con-
secutively, straight olf the reel; in 1857 he started thirty-
five times and won twenty-four ; in 1858 he started thirty-two
times and won twenty-one ; and in 1859, twelve times and
won twice. To sum up his performances, he started 113 times
and won 71 ; these figures include walks over, and, mind you,
these races were at all distances, and run on every description
of course. Moreover, he very often walked or trotted from
one race-course to another by road, for the poor old horse had
a hard master, and it seems incredible that this good game
animal ended his days in the Antipodes, where he sired a long
list of good winners. It was wicked to let the good old slave
leave England ; anyhow, I look upon it as a reproach to
English sportsmen.

In 1857 Blink Bonny won both Derby and Oaks, and, to
show the difficulty of handicapping horses by their perform-
ances in the book. Blink Bonny in the Oaks beat Imperieuse
— who was only fourth — by 16 lengths; yet in the Leger,
Imperieuse won, and Blink Bonny was only a bad fourth.
What a difference a quarter of a mile makes, don't it 1 The
Cesarewitch was notorious that year for the dead heat between
three — Prioress, 4 yrs., 6 st. 9 lbs. ; El Hakim, 3 yrs., 6 st.
9 lbs. ; Queen Bess, 3 yrs., 4 st. 10 lbs. When the dead heat
was run off Mr. Ten Broeck substituted Fordham for a boy
named Tankerley, and his mare. Prioress, won by a length
and a half. T. Parr won the Cambridgeshire with Odd Trick,
also ridden by Fordham. In 1858 Sir J. Hawley won the
Derby with Beadsman, and Mr. Merry won the St. Leger with
Sunbeam, having declared to win with Blanche of Middlebie,
who was only third. In 1859 Sir Joseph won the Derby again

A GOOD INVESTMENT FOR CHESTER CUP. 223

with Musjid. In 1860 Lord Ailesbury's St. Albans won the
Metropolitan, and that afternoon I approached a very clever
old bookie named Sargeant, and asked what price he would
lay me against St. Albans for the Chester Cup ; he promptly
offered me 1000 to 30, which I jumped at, and whilst I was
writing the bet down he somewhat contemptuously remarked,
' I suppose you know he has a ten pound penalty,' and I, equal
to the occasion, replied, ' Yes, old boy, I do know, and I am
not at all sure that I should have backed him with a 4 st. 7 lbs.
boy round that course ; but with a 5 st. 3 lbs. lad it is good,'
at least so it turned out, and I never hedged a bob of it.

That cunning: old bookie used often afterwards to ask me
what I fancied would win some big handicap or other, but I
never got so pretty a bet out of him again. St. Albans went
wrong, and did not start for the Derby, but won the Leger,
beating Thormanby (winner of the Derby) a long way.

That year Goodwood was the scene of an extraordinary
performance by Lord Annesley's Sweet Sauce, who won the
Stewards' Cup, six furlongs, and also the Goodwood Cup,
2^ miles, and, mirahile dictu, started first favourite for the
Chesterfield Cup the next day, but was nowhere, and well I
recollect George Payne administering some very ' strong sauce '
to his friend Annesley for being so hard on his good horse,
who, if I mistake not, had a dicky fore-leg before he won his
first race.

1861 was a remarkable year. Lord Stamford ran two
horses in the Two Thousand, and backed Imaus to win him a
large stake, having tried him much better than Diophantus ;
but the latter won, and Imaus was nowhere. Kettledrum was
second, and afterwards won the Derby from Poor Dundee, one
of the greatest certainties that ever started for the race ; but
he broke down, though he gamely struggled into second place.
The Ascot Cup was won by Thormanby, beating Fairwater,
Parmesan, and St. Albans — a quartette hard to beat. The
cute Ten Broeck astonished us Britishers by winning the
Goodwood Cup with Stark, an American-bred horse ; Wizard
second, and Thormanby nowhere.

An Irish horse, Croagh Patrick, won both Stewards' and
Chesterfield Cups ; but six weeks afterwards was objected to
by Captain Little and Sir Joseph Hawley, the two Josephs
owning the second in each of these races, and, wonderful to
relate, the objection was not finally settled till May 17th,
1862, nine months afterwards, when Lords Derby, Exeter, and
Zetland thus worded their decision : ' We think we are not

224 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

justified in entering on the merits of the case with a view of
disqualifying Croagh Patrick ! ' Though these were three
good sportsmen, yet I think the stewards have come on a bit
during the last thirty years.

1862 was a memorable year for me, for, after seeing
Caractacus win the Somersetshire Stakes at Bath, I backed
him to win me a good stake for the Derby at 40 to 1 (only
the week before, mind you ! ), and as I never had a chance
of hedging I had to stand the shot. There were 34
starters, and an unknown jockey (Parsons) rode Caractacus ;
his winning was a bit of real good luck for me, and how he
beat The Marquis (who afterwards won the Leger) and
Buxton ' no fellah could understand,' as Lord Dundreary
would say. However, I determined to invest some of my
winnings in a racehorse or two of my own, and I believe my
first purchase was Hesper, a chestnut by Hesperus, a very
good-looking and powerful horse, who, though he made a good
bit of noise, had a wonderful turn of speed.

I selected Drewitt of Lewes to train him for me, and here I
must say a word or two for that honest, good man. He was
a particularly careful and good stableman, but knew nothing
about handicapping horses or placing them, nor did he ever
bet, and in my humble opinion the above attributes constitute
the perfect trainer — at all events to an owner fond of his
racehorses, and wishful to keep their merits to himself as well
as to ensure getting the best price when he chooses to back
them. I don't believe there are any of the Dick Drewitt school
of trainers left.

One of his peculiarities was certainly uncommon, for I
verily believe he thought as much of his breed of Berkshire
pigs as he did of his horses. One evening when I arrived at
Newmarket, and walked to the stables where my horses used
to put up, I found Drewitt absent, and on his return I rather
rebuked him for not being at the stables when I arrived ; he
naively remarked he had been to see his old friend Mat
Dawson, as they had swopped two Berkshire gilts, and he
wanted to know how Mat liked the pig he had brought him.

Drewitt when a lad had either been apprenticed to, or was
employed in old Forth' s stables, the trainer of Little Wonder,
who won the Derby in 1840, and I frequently made him
rehearse what he heard when Little Wonder was being saddled.
The jockey, Macdonald, of course was present, and these were
the orders that Dick told me that Forth gave : ' Now you
mind and catch tight hold of his head and come truly through

FORDHAM'S HONESTY AND LOYALTY. 225

with him, for he is an early foal ! ' Short and to the point,
for there is little doubt he was foaled ' a year earlier ' than his
competitors were ! Good old Drewitt ! when I used to ask
him, after a favourable trial, how much he would have on, he
used to pull his waistcoat down with both hands, and say :
' Drat it ! I won't have anything, thank you, Colonel ; but if
he wins, you will have to give the missus a new bonnet.'

Mrs. D. was a good old soul, all 14 stone ; so I much
preferred giving her a bonnet instead of a gown, for she
took a lot of stuff. However, you bet she didn't want for
bonnets !

One great inducement to my training at Lewes was that
George Fordham, wdio was apprenticed to Drewitt, constantly
rode for the stable, and when out of his articles, though I gave
him no retainer, he would always ride for me if his first
master, Ten Broeck, did not want him. In my opinion
Fordham was the very best jockey I have ever known ;
though not a first-rate horseman, he had wonderful hands,
never abused a horse, and was an extraordinary judge of pace,
was never flurried, and always knew to a nicety where the
winning-post was, and, above all, was a paragon of honesty.

On one occasion I was much struck with his loyalty to Mr,
Ten Broeck. I had gone down with Fordham over-night to
Brighton, and we had supper together before turning in. At
daybreak we started in a cab and got out (as was my custom
when I went down to try my horses) at a farm-house two miles
short of Lewes, where two hacks awaited us, and we rode over
the hills to the trial-ground. After two or three trials, we
rode down to Drewitt' s, and played havoc with an excellent
breakfast, w^ent round the stables, and travelled up to London
together. It was just before the Derby, when Umpire was a
great favourite, and I was dying to know what chance
Fordham thought the horse had, as he was going to ride him ;
but, though we talked much of the race, Umpire's name was
never mentioned, and, in spite of our having spent so many
hours together, ' The Kid ' (as I called him) left me as ignorant
of his opinion of his mount, as if he didn't know there was
such a horse. How many jockeys are there now, who would
not tell a casual acquaintance in ten minutes all he knew about
his Derby mount ? and, mind you, there are not many owners
who would not ask !

Well, to return to Hesper : I first ran him in the Stewards'
Cup at Goodwood ; but that was too far for him. However,
he won me a selling-race, half-a-mile, that week. At New-

Q

226 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

market Second October I made and won my first match,
Hesper, 4 yrs., 9 st. ; Arrogante, 2 yrs., 6 st. 7 lbs. ; last
3 furlongs of A.B.^ mile, and the old one won, six lengths.
Same meeting he won another selling-race, half-mile, five
lengths. Houghton Meeting he won a selling-race, half-mile,
ten lengths ; and yet another selling-race, when Lord Stam-
ford claimed him. It was at this Houghton Meeting that
Eordham matched his hack Levity, aged, against Jackson the
bookie's (commonly called 'Jock of Oran') ISeptunus, 3 yrs.,
last half of R.M.,^ for £500, p.p. catch weights, and the little
hack won, twenty lengths.

I had been doing a bad trade that week and was riding
down to the course in a most disconsolate mood, when I was
hailed by a good-natured grass widow, who was driving a
smart pair of cobs, and on my jjulling up she asked how I had
been getting on, and, hearing of my bad luck, she whispered
to me that ' she knew a 7'eal cert ' (but I was to keep it to
myself). ' Farfalla will win the Houghton Handicap to-day,
and you will get a good price,' she said. The mare belonged
to my friend Alexander ; so before the race, I threw a tiy,
casually asking him whether she had any chance. He said
none : he had seen her beaten in her trial, and his trainer told
him she was coughing. I said I had heard a different tale and
intended to back the mare ; he put me down as a stubborn
idiot. Good old Alec ! he was straight as an arrow, but his
trainer was not.

On riding up to the old betting ring I shoved my cob in
between two of the party whom I expected would back
Farfalla, if it was right, and on my asking the mare's price
they both drew back their hacks and rode round to the other
side of the ring ; that convinced me that my information was
correct, and the poor owner was in the cart. I got a good
price, and plenty of it, and was delighted to see the mare roll
home, and duly thanked my kind informant ; for I was home
on the week and a nice bit to the good. 1 don't know that
one can give a better instance of the luck of racing, for I
should never have dreamt of backing the winner, but should
have been well on the second, Little Pippin, who was favourite,
had it not been for the fair dame taking compassion on my
rueful countenance. Two or three other selling-platers passed
through my hands that year, but they did me no good ;
however, I had a real good year, and won ,£11,097, £4600 of
which was at Epsom and £2550 at Newmarket Houghton.
1 Abingdon Mile. ^ Rowley Mile,

BLACKDOWN'S TRIAL FOR GOODWOOD STAKES. 227

The next year, 1863, I had ten horses in training, and,
though I had not the best of luck with them, yet they were
usefuL I bought Jack o' Hearts, 3 years, of old John
Osborne, early in the year for £500 ; Bally Edmond, 5 years,
of Saxon, for £500, and £200 fu-st win ; Rubicon, 5 years, of
G. Fitzwilliam, for £300, and £300 first win ; the two latter
could stay well, and I hoped to have won the Cesarewitch with
Jack o' Hearts, as old Osborne told me he was sure to get the
course. So, as he had been beaten three times as a two-year-
old, I determined to keep him till autumn ; but I was not
clever enough to do so, though, as it turned out, I should not
have won the Cesarewitch. had my horse been handicapped at
5 St. 7 lbs., instead of 6 st. 7 lbs., for Mr. Merry's Lioness won
anyhow, with 6 st. 8 lbs. on her four-year-old back, and she
started favourite, a position which her previous performances
would certainly not warrant. However, I am forging ahead a
bit too fast.

It happened that in our stable there was a good-looking
though rather coarse chestnut three-year-old colt called Black-
down, and as he belonged to a man I didn't care a deal about,
I never took much interest in the horse, especially as Fordham
told me he had ridden him in a hurdle-race at some small local
meeting ; but about a fortnight before Goodwood, I was asked
to try him with my horses, and then discovered for the first
time that his owner and Drewitt thought a lot of him. So,
after having drawn up an agreement in writing, to the effect
that, if Blackdown won the trial, I was to do the commission
and put the whole of the stable money on, I consented to try
him, and having dodged the only real tout there was (I fancy
I gave him a so v. to get into one of the shepherds' huts on the
downs till after the trial was over), the result of the trial
fortunately didn't get out, and Blackdown won so easily that
— barring accidents— he looked a good thing for the Goodwood
Stakes.

Well, I waited calmly till the race week, and, as luck would
have it, old Mr. Greville (' Gruncher ') had tried his horse
Anfield, 3 yrs., trained by Alec Taylor at Manton, so that he
could not lose the race ; at least, so thought Greville and his
friend George Payne. There was a lot of betting on this race
in those days, and Anfield was quoted at 7 to 4 the day before ;
so, to prepare the ground nicely for my commission, after
dining at the Bedford Hotel at Brighton, I strolled out with a
cigar to the Old Ship Hotel, where most of the principal
bookies put up, and, it being a fine night, no sooner did I

228 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

appear on the scene than Jackson, who had done himself a bit
extra well, asked if I would back anything. ' What on the
field ^ ' says I. ' 70 to 40 to you, Colonel,^ says he. ' I'll take
it, my lad.' ' Bight you are.' Twice, thrice, and so on up to
ten times, when he pulled up. ' Twice that,' says I. ' Done,'
says he. 1400 to 800 was duly recorded in our volumes, and
as there was a nice little ring by this time formed round us on
the pavement, the bookies were quite satisfied that the Lewes
stable had no chance.

On the morrow, the owner of Blackdown came to me in a
fearful state of mind, asking, ' Was it true that I had been
backing the favourite, and what price did his monkey on
Blackdown average 1 ' ' Yes,' I replied, ' I had backed the
favourite, and as yet no other horse.' Well, when the
numbers went up for the Stakes, I got out my pencil, and after
a little haggling jotted down 20 fifties Blackdown, from old J.
B. Morris, a sort of bellwether of the ring, upon which all the
principal bookies swarmed round me, and I wrote down 20 to
1 to nearly all I wanted on. The only man who would not lay
20 was Henry Steel, and he said, ' No, I won't lay thee twenties,
but thee can have 1000 to 60 three times up to fiag fall,' and,
it being a pretty bet to top up with, I took it ; then I rushed
off to find George Payne, and implored him to cover the large
stake he had on Anfield, and he did ; but old ' Grunclier ' would
not chuck a penny away on the Lewes hurdle-racer. It was
wicked of me, but I was rather glad he wouldn't, for I never
could cotton to that acid old sportsman.

It was a fine race : I had told little Nightingall to make
strong running with Jack of Hearts as far as he could, but as
he had ridden in the trial I concluded he knew my horse had
no chance ; but, from leading Blackdown in his work the last
fortnight. Jack had come on a lot, and to my dismay he led
right into the rails, where his jockey gave him two cuts with
the whip, and my visions of the Cesarewitch vanished. Black-
down and Anfield raced head and head from the distance, but
our horse got the best of the struggle and won by a neck. I
believe that was the best stake I ever won betting, but I cannot
find my betting-book of 1863.

I had a real good week, for I won £8500, notwithstanding
losing a lot of money over the March Stakes, when I thought
I had an extra good thing in Cuckoo, 2 years ; but she was
easily beaten by Laura, 3 years, by Orlando out of Torment,
belonging to Lord Westmoreland, and I was obliged to claim
that well-bred mare for something under £400, and oh ! the

ISOLINE WINS THE GOODWOOD CUP. 229

row and bother there was over that claim I shall never forget.
Poor Drewitt implored me to let his bosom friend, W. Goater,
have the mare back or he would never be able to grasp his
hand again, and, worse than that, he felt sure that W. G.
would nevermore swop a pig with him ; but I was firm. I had
backed my filly for a lot of money, and I was sure that any
three-year-old that could give her weight for age must be a
clinker in her class.

I had a good fair race over the Goodwood Cup that week
too, having backed both Isoline^ and Atherstone at 8 to 1 with
Steel at Newmarket July. I thought Atherstone was good for
it, but Steel would not lay me a fair price unless I backed
another as well, so I took Isoline. Atherstone belonged to my
cousin, John N. Astley, and just before the races, the first day,
I asked him how the old horse was. ' Couldn't be better ! '
was his answer. On the second day I asked him again, when
my cousin said, ' Well, I rode him this morning ' (he weighed
about 12 st.) 'and I thought he didn't like the ground ; so I
have struck him out.' A child could have knocked me down
with a feather ; however, Isoline was good enough, and I won
a nice stake.

^ Isoline was purchased from Tom Parr by Richard Kaylor of Hootou,
iu whose colours she ran and won.

230

CHAPTER XXII.

Laura Breaks a Blood-vessel — Sell her for £25 — A Gold Mine to Gosden,
the Miller of Midlmrst— George Thomson — 'Major' Booth and his
Book — Catch 'em Alive's Sensational Cambridgeshire — Sammy Mordan
on the Subject — Orphene — Health v. Wealth — Miss Landing a Good
Stake — Hold the Whip with Bally Edmond — Races and Matches "svon
by Hesper — Wynnstay — The Squire of Hooton and Biondella — I Ride
Hesper oflF the Course at Shrewsbury — Sooner had a Fly — Frail the
Courteous— I Lease Actfea for her Racing Career — Old Draper of
Kettering — Clarke Thornhill of Rushton — Gladiateur "Wins Derby for
the Frenchmen — The Financialist owns that he is Beat — Purchase
Ostregor of C. Bevil at Huntingdon — Beat Frank "Westmoreland's
Icicle, giving 4 Stone Odd — Aetaa's Running — She "Wins the Cam-
bridgeshire— Afraid to Trust her with much — Dr. Shorthouse makes
an En'or, but Apologizes and All's "Well — Death of Actsea — A Narrow
Escape — The Lincoln Chronicle — An Extract therefrom — Saved ! —
Hermit's Derby — My Folly — Harry Chaj)]in a Eeal Friend — "Wonderful
Generous Conduct — Match with ^Machell and Knight of the Garter —
Ostregor "Wins — The Chesterfield Cup at Goodwood, Ostregor Wins,
Five Lengths— Sold to Austrian Government for £3000— Offer £1000
to be off Bargain — No Go — Ostregor not a Success at the Stud.

I MUST now tell yon a little more about Laura, the beautifully
bred filly that I claimed in the March Stakes. I felt con-
vinced tliat I had got a real good animal, which would bring
me in a nice little pile if kept for some of the big selling-
races at Newmarket Autumn Meeting, for there was always
a lot of betting on them. Poor Drewitt's feelings were
already soothed a bit, and he and Goater had taken the
friendly glass ; so I told my trainer to take Laura home and
give her an easy time of it, for I should not want her for two
months. But, alas ! not long afterwards I got a letter from
the ' honest one ' to say the bonny mare had broken a blood-
vessel whilst gently cantering in front of some yearlings.

I got into the train and ran down to Lewes, and, sure
enough, she did look bad, with her head hanging between her
knees and all appetite gone, and I then made up my mind
that she would never be worth a row of pins, either for racing

PRODUCE OF LAURA AT THE STUD. 231

or the stud ; and so thought that clever little vet. Manning-
ton, of Brighton, who met me at the stables. However, we
decided to give her one more chance, and I ran her at New-
market ; but she couldn't go a bit, and I believe bled again ;
and when I got down to Lewes afterwards, I told Drewitt he
could give her to any of his farmer-friends to run out at grass,
feeling convinced that she had lost her constitution as well as
her form.

It happened that old Gosden, the miller of Midhurst, was
in the stableyard at the time, and he said, ' Don't do that, I'll
give you a pony for her.' 'Done with you,' said I, and he
got a nugget indeed, for she bred him thirteen or fourteen
foals, five consecutively, of which all could race, namely,
Proto-Martyr, Fraulein, Lemnos, Eotherhill, and the last and
the best of all, Petrarch. Of these, Fraulein was sold for
c£3500 or £4000 to Stirling Crawfurd as a brood mare, after
having won a lot of races, and Petrarch was sold for <£1 0,000
to Lord Dupplin, and the old gentleman was offered very
large sums for the mare, but would never sell her. That was
a bit of bad luck for me, wasn't it 1 I guess you will say it
was bad judgment as well ; but, you must recollect, I had no
place then where I could turn a mare out.

That summer, George (alias 'Jig') Thompson rode two
winners for me at the Bibury Meeting, Pubicon winning the
Andover Stakes, 1 mile, and Bally Edmund the Gentlemen's
Derby, 2 miles. 'Jig's' bodily weight was about 7 st. 4 lbs.,
and as old Bally carried 12 st. 8 lbs,, it was a bit of a struggle
for the little man to hug over 5 st. dead weight to the scales
when he weighed in. A fine rider was ' Jig,' and a pleasant
one ; no nattier gentleman jock ever pulled on a boot. At
this meeting. Booth the bookie (commonly called the 'Major')
came whining to me, ' You never bet with me now. Colonel ;
why don't you bet with yer Booth 1 ' So when the numbers
went up for the Biennial (and there were 17 starters), I said,
'Now, "Major," what against King George?' 'I'll lay you
800 to 100,' says he. ' Twice,' says I. ' Done,' says he ;
' he's got no chance,' and as he was ridden by F. Adams (elder
brother to James) Booth looked to have the best of it ; but
The King won comfortably, and as the ' Major ' had only a
thousand-pound book on the race, I and my pals had great
fun with him, for he was terribly crestfallen at having coaxed
me to knock the bottom out of his book.

The Cambridgeshire that year was a sensational race.
Catch 'em Alive won, ridden by Sam Adams, and trained by

232 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

William Day ; Merry Hart was second, but when the horses
weighed in after the race, Merry Hart somehow was passed
all right, but Catch 'em Alive couldn't draw the weight, and
the stakes were on the point of being awarded to Merry Hart
— and a wonderful popular win it would have been, for he
belonged to Frank Westmoreland, that most charming of
men, and he would have won a real good haul in bets — but
on the third horse, Summerside, being found also short of
weight, the scales were examined, and it was discovered that
some wretch had fastened some sheet lead to the bottom of
the weight-scale, and when that was removed. Catch 'em's
weight was all right, and poor Frank was only second.

When I got down to the stables that evening S. Mordan
(who was then apprenticed to Drewitt, and had won the
Goodwood Stakes on Blackdown), a very comical lad, was
describing to Drewitt what had happened in the weighing-
room when Adams could not draw his proper weight, and I
think I never laughed more than at his droll description,
which ran thus : ' They gets a great big whip — lor ! you
never seed such a whip ! As soon as Adams gets hold of it,
down flops the scale, and hup goes the beam ; then when the
whip was took away from him, hup goes the scale again.
Then Mr. Day goes and stands close to the scale, and leans
his umbrella on it, and as he was a-pushing he says, " There,
Mr. Manning, he's all right ; look at the beam qiow, Mr.
Manning," and lor! he was a-pushing, sureZ?/; and when he
was told to stand away, hup goes Sammy again, and down
comes the beam. There, I never see such a job in my life,
and they turned me out of the weighing-room coz I was
a-laughing so and couldn't stop.'

Well, I finished up the Houghton week with what ought
to have been a real good big win ; but, bad luck to it ! the
rain came down in such torrents that many of the bookies
could not stand it, and left the ring and sought shelter in
their flys. I had a sharp touch of lumbago, and could not
ride that day, so had given my commission of £2000 to two
friends to do for me. Good old Henry Savile got me only
£1500 to £1000, and t'other party only returned a level
monkey ; so I only won £2000. If it had been fine I should
certainly have won £5000, and perhaps £10,000.

I had bought a two-year-old of old John Osborne, Orphene
by Orpheus, and finding it could go a hopper, I borrowed
Lord Burleigh, a very speedy four-year-old belonging to
' Cherry Angel,' and sent them half-a-mile up the Bury Hill

BIONDELLA AND HESPER. 233

the day before this race. The young one won so cleverly that
nothing but tumbling down could prevent its winning, and
easy too. There w^ere 16 runners in the selling-race; Sam
Mordan rode, and Orphene ran up to her trial and won any-
how. She was claimed, and curiously enough she never won
another race for her new owner, though she started lots of
times. It was a case of just catching a filly at her very best.
She had not cost me much at all events in keep : I bought
her on Monday for £300, won £2000 on the Friday, and she
was claimed for £100 the same day — not a bad instance of
the nimble ninepence.

I challenged for the Whip at this meeting, and named
Bally Edmond, and as no one accepted, I became the holder
of that ancient trophy. In 1864 I had a bad year, my best
meeting being Shrewsbury November, where old Hesper,
6 yrs., was the hero of the hour. It will be remembered that
Lord Stamford had claimed him of me at Newmarket in 1862 ;
he only ran him three times in 1863, and he won each time.
During that winter he became the property of Mr. Kellie,
who ran him several times, and in November the old horse
was sent to Shrewsbury in charge of Ashmall the jockey, who
was to sell him if he could for £300. On the 15th, Hesper
ran unplaced for the half-mile handicap, when Mr. Naylor's
Biondella was second.

I was staying that week at Wynnstay with good old Watty
Wynn, as also was Naylor ; and on our way home by train
after the races, we were talking over the day's running, and
Naylor fancied he was unlucky not to win with Biondella. I
said I thought Hesper ought to have won that race, which
idea Naylor ridiculed. So I said I would make a match with
Biondella if I could get Hesper for £300, and on arriving at
Wynnstay we wrote out and signed the match, and sent it to
Frail. Next day I paid Ashmall £300 for Hesper, and ran
him in a handicap ; Fordham rode him, distance 3^ furlongs.
The old gee won comfortably, and I landed some £1500 in
bets. After the race the Squire of Hooton's face was a study,
as he had evidently made up his mind the old horse was no
use ; however, on the following day our match came off, and
Naylor confided to me he should save his stake by backing
my horse. I told him he would have to be pretty nippy, for
I meant laying all the odds I could, as it was a guinea to a
gooseberry. The distance was only 3 furlongs, and Hesper
won by four lengths.

Next day the old horse won a selling-race, winner to be

234 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

sold for £300, and as I had done so well with him I meant to
let him go, for he made more noise than ever ; so I walked
away when the auctioneer took his place, to avoid the tempta-
tion of buying him in. On my return I met friend Frail, the
courteous clerk of the course, and asked who had bought the
old horse 1 Taking off his hat, as only he and the late Duke
of Beaufort could do it, he told me that he had bought him
in for me at £560. I disclaimed the arrangement altogether,
when he said, with a Louis Quatorze bow, ' It will cost Colonel
Astley nothing, but I could not allow so good a supporter of
my meetings to lose his horse ; ' and so the fund (which meant
Frail) lost £130 by the transaction.

On the morrow, I ran Hesper again in a race, three-quarters
of a mile ; but he was beaten, as he never could get even
that distance. I ran him the same afternoon in a half-mile
handicap, and he won by three lengths, carrying 9 st. 10 lbs. ;
so the speedy old gee w^on me three races and a match, which
meant a nice pile at the settling day. I was so pleased that
I had a leg-up, and rode him oil: the course amidst great
cheering. Ere I got to the stable I much rued my temerity,
and wished I was inside a fly : for, just as we approached the
bridge over the Severn, there came up a side street a gilded
car drawn by six spotted horses, with a circus band in full
blast therein, which quite upset the grand old horse's equani-
mity, and by the way he caracoled and snatched the snaffle-
bridle through my hands, I fully expected that every moment
the round of beef would leave the plate, for I never did enjoy
riding in a five, or even a seven-pound saddle. Luckily, the
stables at the Barge Inn were over the bridge, and you may
bet I wasn't sorry to take refuge in them.

Poor old Hesper ! he won me three races the following year :
half-a-mile at Nottingham ; half-a-mile Epsom Spring, carry-
ing 10 St. 10 lbs., beating Hodgman's The Gem, 3 yrs., 6 st.
8 lbs. (who was favourite), three lengths or more ; and finished
up by winning a three-furlong handicap at Shrewsbury, his
favourite battle-field, after which I sold him to a breeder in
Yorkshire. The only other horse that did me any good this
year was Dr. Syntax, whom I bought of old Billy Ashworth
the bookie, who was hard up, for £200. I won a monkey
with him, and sold him for a monkey. 1865 was the worst
year I ever had. I think I must have gone a bit wrong in
my head, for not only did I lose heavily, betting, but, like an
idiot, I bought of tfames Smith (the owner of Bosebery in
later years) Swordsman, 3 yrs., by Yoltigeur out of Dividend,

I PURCHASE LORD DOUGLAS. 235

and his half-brother Gladiator, 2 yrs., by Stockwell, and by
some extraordinary means paid him £3500 for the two.
Swordsman was no good, and never won a race for me. But
I was wonderful unlucky with Gladiator ; for, not only was
he one of the best-looking two-year-olds I ever saw, but he
could go too.

He won me a little race at Huntingdon, and then I ran
him in the Champagne at Doncaster. Just below the distance
he broke a blood-vessel so badly that he staggered and fell,
and just as I was sending for a gun to have him shot, he got
up and walked to his stable, and the greedy toad ate up a
great big mash that evening just as if nothing had happened
to him. He ran twice in 1866 and several times in 1867, but
only won one race, the Claret at Brighton, and I sold him at
a fair price to the foreigners.

That spring I bought a good-looking brown horse of Major
Beresforcl — a real good Irishman, who had a horse or two at
Drewitt's — Lord Douglas, 4 yrs., by Claret out of Chevy
Chase. I tried him satisfactorily and he won me a handicap,
three-quarters of a mile, the opening day of Newmarket First
Spring Meeting, and I didn't forget to back him. I entered
him again, and the old Admiral put him up so in the weights
(more than a stone) that I thought he had but little chance.
Deacon, a lad in our stable, rode him, and I told him not to
knock him about, for he was very fond of using his whip, and
to pull him up when he was beat. At the same time I took
the precaution to take 1000 to 60 about him twice, for fear of
accidents, as I never used to let the ' boys ' knock my horses
out. From my fly at the T.Y.C. I saw Deacon riding hard
below the distance, and both he and I gave up all idea of his
winning, when, presto ! no sooner did he begin to pull his
horse up and put down his whip, than Lord Douglas took hold
of his bit and won cleverly. Wasn't it wonderful "? as the
conjurers say.

Fordham w^on the Claret Stakes on him at Brighton (an
appropriate win for a son of Claret), and I had to give three
dozen of that wine to the Brighton Club. At Doncaster,
Fordham rode him again. I fancied him just above a bit,
and he ought to have won anyhow ; but that infernal bend in
the course robbed me of my rights. Fordham was waiting,
and as the horses swung round the curve they opened out
sufficiently — as he thought — to give him a chance of getting
up inside ; but they closed in, and on trying for another
opening, got shut out again ; he then went round outside and

236 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

just got beat. I was much annoyed, but the poor ' Kid ' was
wild with himself, and, in floods of tears, blamed his stupidity
for not going outside at first, instead of having to pull up his
horse twice. I always maintain that a hend is worse than a
turn, I would sooner back a horse for my bottom dollar round
Tattenham Corner than the Doncaster or Kempton bends.

In November 1865, 1 went to shoot with my old pal Clarke
Thornhill at Bushton, near Kettering, and Draper, the then
landlord of the Boyal Hotel, made me pull up and look at a
yearling filly he had bred, and wanted me to lease her of him
(for no man had money enough to buy her, he said) ; so out I
got and went to his stables, and in a loose box, lit up by two
or three tallow dips, was a very rough-coated, rather coarse-
looking bay filly, with a regular Stockwell head, fair shoulders,
extraordinary propelling powers, and plenty of bone, and over
a glass or two of brandy-and-water the bargain was struck. I
was to take the filly (she was by Stockwell, out of Electra
by Touchstone) for her racing career, I to pay all expenses
and give him half any stakes she might win. Well, we
christened her Actiea. She took some time coming to hand,
but after running five times, she w^on a little Nursery at
Newmarket Second October,

I shall never forget the first time I tried her at Lewes with
Hesper and another. Actsea ran very green and had but a
small boy on her back : the whip or something frightened her,
and she bolted and disappeared down a frightful steep hill-side.
I galloped my hack to the top of the precipice down which she
had gone, and, looking below, fully expected to see her and the
boy lying in a confused heap at the bottom. Not a bit of it ;
they had negotiated the descent all right, and presently rejoined
us none the worse.

This year's Derby was a memorable one, as a French horse
won it for the first time, and a real good horse he was (some
people thought he was a ' too early ' foal), the mighty Gladiateur.
Blair Athol had won the year before, and whereas he was
afterwards nearly as good a sire as his progenitor (Stockwell),
Gladiateur, on the other hand, produced nothing of any account.
Talking of account, I find a note at the bottom of my ledger,
in which I carefully kept all particulars of my betting trans-
actions, to the following effect : ' Made out.. October 28th, 1865,
after the final smeller at the Houghton Meeting by J. D. A.
himself, the financialist is, at last, beat.' And, doubtless, I
thought so ; but, having been a soldier, I was not to be so
easily knocked out.

MY CAMBRIDGESHIRE WIN WITH ACT^A. 237

Consequently, I find in 1866 I had some more racehorses,
the best of wliich was Ostregor, 4 yrs., by Stockwell out of
Woodcraft's dam, whom I bought of old C. Bevil at Hunting-
don Races for £'2000, a monkey down and the rest paper. No
sooner was the deal concluded, than I ran him in a small race
there, and Billy Bevil rode him. 1 naturally tried to get back
part of the purchase-money there and then by laying odds on
him without compunction ; but he got beat by Vespasian, 3
yrs., and that made Ostregor rather expensive. However, I
took him to Goodwood, where he won me a little handicap,
carrying 10 stone, beating Icicle, 2 yrs., 5 st. 7 lbs. Frank
Westmoreland didn't believe it possible that any four-year-old
could give his two-year-old 4 st. 7 lbs. This grand performance
made me extra sweet on his chance for the Chesterfield Cup
that same week ; but he was only second to Broomielaw, to
whom he was giving 11 lbs.

Never did any horse show such temper at the post as
Broomielaw did that day, and had it not been for the masterly
way in which that fine horseman, Custance, stuck to his horse,
he would never have started, much less won — hard luck for me,
but real jam for Harry Chaplin. Ostregor won me two races
afterwards, one at Brighton and another at Newmarket
Houghton, and this brings me to Actsea, 3 yrs., again. She
had won a race at Stockbridge, and the Leger at Stamford,
showing fair form, and then I ran her in all four of the princi-
pal Newmarket Autumn Handicaps. She was third in Eastern
Counties, second in October Handicap, and fourth in Cesare-
witch. By this time I was run nearly dry, and had but little
heart or coin to back her with for the Cambridgeshire ; however,
she won, and I netted only some £5000. She was ridden by
Huxtable (father of the present promising light weight),
carrying 6 st. 6 lbs., beating poor Frank again, whose mare
Thalia, 3 yrs., 5 st. 9 lbs., started favourite, and was backed by
him to win a very large stake.

I was very angry with old Dr. Shorthouse, who then owned
and edited the Sportrng Times, who described Actsea's winning
' as a well-planned coiip.' There was a lot of planning about
it sure??/, as no animal could have been run more honestly,
seeing that she had been placed in the three previous races she
had run in ; however, that funny old boy apologized to me at
Tattersall's, and I was real pleased with the win, for lots of my
pals had backed Acttea, and I had three presents of bits of
jewellery sent me after the race. The mare never won for me
again, though I ran her eight times in the following year, and

238 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

I then returned lier to old Draper, who again leased her for
two years to Stevens, for whom she won eight little races in
1868, and three in 1869 ; she was ridden in all her races by
that eccentric jockey. Speedy Payne, and was again returned to
her owner.

Poor old boy ! he ought to have put her to the stud, but he
confided to me he felt certain he could win the Cambridgeshire
again w^th her, and I fancy trained her at home, never running
her till the Cambridgeshire, when she fell, and breaking her
thigh was destroyed on the course.

I)uring the ten years between my marriage in 1858, and my
father-in-law's death in 1868, 1 had run my horses in the name
of S. Thellusson (a friend of mine who had some horses in
Drewitt's stable), and this I did to avoid Mr. Corbett's knowing
I was wicked enough to own racehorses. Now it so happened
that after Acta3a had won the Cambridgeshire, I decided to run
her in the Liverpool Cup, and as we w^ere staying that week in
Lincoln for the county ball, I started by an early train for
Liverpool, and my wife was to return home to Elsham by road
that same afternoon. As I was getting into the train I bought
a Lincolnshire Chronicle at the station, that weekly paper having
been published that morning, and before I arrived at Retford,
my eye fell on this horrible paragraph : ' Col. Astley, who
runs his horses in the name of Mr. S. Thellusson, much to the
delight of his many friends, won the Cambridgeshire last week
with Act^ea.' Well, that was a scorcher ! and I felt sure that
if Corbett read it, he would take particular care I should never
inherit a copper from him. So I cut out and sent the ob-
noxious paragraph by the guard of a train, giving him a douceur
of five shillings to see that the note I sent my wdf e was delivered
to her at Brigg on her way home that evening, and in it I
impressed upon her the paramount importance of her cutting
out the mischievous sentence the moment she got home, on the
chance of the old squire not having read it.

My note was duly delivered, and on arrival she found her
father busily engaged reading the Chronicle. With great
presence of mind she waited till he left the room, and then
cut out the paragraph, and when I arrived the next day (after
Actjea had been beaten) all seemed serene with the old boy,
and I verily believe he never knew of my delinquency, or his
will would not have been so kindly worded in my favour. It
was a squeak though, wasn't it 1

Now we come to 1867, a queer year for me, very. During
the previous autumn I had made up my august mind that

THE SQUIRE OF BLANKNEY. 239

Hermit by Newminster, the property of Harry Chaplin, could
not stay a little bit ; so concluded I would secure a useful sum
to back the winner of the Derby with, by laying 20 to 1 against
Hermit to lose £8000. The squire of Blankney had, on the
contrary, a strong opinion that his horse would win the Blue
Ribbon for him. We often met out hunting, and I fancy I
stayed at Blankney that spring for Lincoln races, and whenever
w^e did meet he always tried to persuade me to stand to win on
his horse, but all to no purpose, and presently the Two Thousand
Guineas was run, Knight of the Garter being a good second to
Vauban ; and as it was an open secret that Hermit was a long
way in front of the Knight, I that evening tried to back
Hermit back, and his owner hearing me offering to take twelve
monkeys of Steel, he in the most friendly manner, after calling
me an elderly fool, for not being on, instead of against, his
horse, said, 'I will lay you 12 to 1 to cover your money, the
night before the Derby : for I stand to win a big stake, and I
want my friends to win too.'

I was overcome with gratitude at so noble an offer, and
waited with composure the progress of events. "Well, as
everybody knows. Hermit, about ten days before the Derby,
broke a blood-vessel when at exercise, and out he went to
100 to 1. The night before the Derby, at the Old Turf Club
in Arlington Street, I saw the squire and condoled with him
on his apparent bad luck ; it struck me that he thought his
horse had no chance, for he had not done a canter for ten days,
and Harry had given up his jockey, Custance, deciding to let
his horse take his chance with a lad named Daly on him. I
took back that evening 2000 to 20 (I think it was of Ouseley
Higgins). As soon as I got down to Epsom the next day I
went to the paddock, and there saw Hermit walking about
(quite an hour before the race) with his coat staring, and a
dejected, languid look about him, as if he was more likely to
die on the course than to win the great race ; it was bitterly
cold, and snow fell at intervals. I was well on Vauban, the
winner of the Guineas, and never thought it was worth while
to take back the remaining £6000 I stood against Hermit
(fool that I was !), for I could have had 100 to 1 to as much
as I liked, and in all my born days I never have been so
astonished — thunderstruck, I believe, is the proper term — as
when I saw Hermit overhaul Marksman and Yauban, and win
that Derby by a neck.

After his horse weighed in, I met the ' Squire,' and, though
he had won close on £100,000, I could see his good fortune

240 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

was marred by the knowledge that I had lost, and he then
and there said, ' Put jour losings into your account on
Monday to my name, and I will pay them.' Never did, or
could a man behave more nobly than he, and it was done so
nicely, no swagger or conditions, and I can tell you it lifted
a huge lump oii" my burden. It took a bit of doing, but of
course I paid him back his money in due course. Hermit's
was a marvellous performance, but he was, like most of the
Newminsters, a horse that required but little work. My part
of the business shows how true that trite, but often neglected,
saying is : ' No bet is good till it is well hedged ' ; and in this
instance I could so easily have stood on velvet.

To return to Ostregor : I had made a match that spring
with Captain Machell, that Ostregor, 5 yrs., should run
Knight of the Garter, 3 yrs., at weight for age, the Eowley
mile, the Friday after the Two Thousand Guineas — that
meant two stone difference in weight. Fordham rode mine,
9 St., and Covey, Knight of the Garter, 7 st. After the
latter' s running in the Two Thousand, the talent laid 2 to 1
on the young one, and I was fairly frightened to bet ; but the
old one won, half a length, and that rather influenced me in
underrating Hermit. Ostregor was a grand mover, and when
the ground suited him took a tremendous stride ; but a curious
instance of how the going affects some horses was demon-
strated in the Trial Stakes at Epsom, where Ostregor and
Moulsey (Lord Bateman's) met.

The Epsom course had been very hard, but sufficient rain
had fallen to soften the surface, though the ground was very
greasy and slippery. Ostregor came bounding along, but (as
Fordham told me afterwards) at Tattenham Corner he slipped
and dare not afterwards stride out again. Moulsey, being a
short-striding, scratchy goer, was not affected in the same way,
and, to my chagrin and heavy loss, Moulsey won. At New-
market it would have been poundage on my horse.

Well, we must now flit to Goodwood. As I told you,
Ostregor was second to Broomielaw in the Chesterfield Cup
the year before, and he was handicapped in this same race this
year at 9 st. As bad luck would have it, I had run two or
three horses, and they had performed so indifferently I was
afraid that our stable was out of form, and Satan in the guise
of two old Austrian General Officers approached me on the
Wednesday and bid me £3000 for my pet Ostregor. Now, I
owed old Pad wick that very sum, which he had convinced me
must positively be paid him on the following Monday ; so I

THE PRICE OF BLOOD. 241

very reluctantly accepted their offer, and agreed to deliver the
old horse on the Friday afternoon, after I had run him in the
Chesterfield Cup, win or lose. Custance rode him, and I
backed him to win me some £5000, and the gallant old horse
won, five lengths.

Deary me ! how I hated myself, old Padwick, and the
Austrian Generals ! I got the two old boys together and
offered them .£1000 to be off the bargain, but no bite. I then
asked Tattersall to go and offer them £2000 to let me keep
my dear old horse, but they replied no money would tempt
them, they had bought him for the Emperor of Austria and
they must deliver him to their master. I dare say many of
my readers will despise me, when I own that I never felt so
utterly cast down and cut up, and I recollect well, chucking
Custance a pony ready (for winning), then taking to my heels,
and running down the hill, hardly stopping till I reached the
little house we had taken for the week near Chichester. After
packing up my traps I went off to Brighton. Good old horse !
I had inscribed on that Cup (and, though stony broke, it
reposes still on my sideboard) : ' The best-looking, best-tempered,
and gamest horse of his day. We ne'er shall see his like again.'
However, he could not have had a pleasanter home, and one of
the Baltazzis sent me a good picture of him whilst he was at
the stud. Curiously enough he was not a success, and very
few of his stock were winners. I paid old ' Paddy ' on the
Monday, but to me it was the price of blood.

Li'

24^

CHAPTER XXIII.

Pirate Chief — Curious Accident — Bad Luck at Lewes — Dead Heat for the
Cambridgesliire — Buckwortli Powell's Legacy — Xicely Invested — Don
Pedro — Lictor and Limner — Frail in the Know — Follow Suit — Lictor
Wins me a Isice Stake in Eton Handica23 — Sell him to Sir Joseph
Hawley, who Wins Liverpool Autumn Cup with him — Mr. Corbett
taken 111 — His Death— A Courteous, High-Minded Gentleman — His
Will— My Son to take the Kame of Corbett — Estate Management —
My Hands Full— Depression of Land since 1870 — Lease six Two-Year-
Olds of Skipworth— My First Meeting with Fred Webb — His First
Win — Maria Marchioness of Ailesbury and Croxton Park Paces —
Chester Cup — Too Clever by Half — But Knight of the Garter Wins-
Charlie Legard's Vespasian — Am Elected a Member of the Jockey Club
— Xo Time for Pacing — Sell my Horses at Tattersall's, December 6th
— Pent a Cottage at JSTewmarket in 1870— Jolly Times — Saxon's Death
— Adonis Wins Cambridgeshire — Lord Falmouth — Kingcraft's Derby
— Gaston Wins Feather Plate— Sell him to Charlie Kerr — Start Breed-
ing Yearlings at Elsham — Buy Broomielaw — Anecdotes of the Horse —
John N. Astley's Pell-Mell— Buy Scamp — Stock a Farm on Credit—
My Brother Hugh's Letter — The Browns.

I HAD a nice three-year-old, Pirate Chief, by Buccaneer out of
Emotion by Alarm ; but in April, just as he was getting fit,
he met with a singular accident. I was at Lewes, and had
been out on the downs seeing the horses do their work, and
when we rode back, the lad that looked after Pirate Chief put
him on a single rack-chain and left him in his box, in order
to fetch something. The silly toad had carelessly forgotten
to pull the stirrup-irons up, and they were left dangling at his
side. The horse must have turned his head to bite at a fly or
something that annoyed him, and got the side of the near
stirrup-iron wedged betw^een his teeth. Directly he found his
head fast he started struggling to get free, broke his rack-
chain, and just as we — hearing a noise — entered his box, he
reared up, fell over, and ricked his back. Though every
remedy was applied (fresh flayed sheepskins placed over his
loins were the ultimate partial cure), yet he never really
recovered.

BAD LUCK WITH PIRATE CHIEF. 24^

Four moiitlis after the accident I ran liini in the Lewes
Handicap, and I took 1000 to 60 three times about him, more
because I didn't like to hear the bookies trying to knock him
out, than because I thought he had any chance. Well, the
horses started, and all went the wrong side of two posts, three
came on and finished the race, four turned back and went
round one of the posts they had missed, but Pirate Chief and
two others went back and went round the two posts all had
missed, and of these latter three horses, Pirate Chief came in
first ; but, as bad luck would have it. Judge Clark had left
the box, thinking there were no more horses to come, and,
though he was close to the box, the Stewards decided the race
was to be run over again, and the first favourite, Brayley's
Pearl Diver, won. It was very hard luck for me, for un-
doubtedly Pirate Chief and his two companions were the only
horses that had run the right course at the first start, and if
only the judge had been in the box when they passed, I should
have won .£3000, instead of losing £180.

The Chief only won me a selling-race afterwards, and was
claimed by Felix Pryor for <£300. In October this year I
went to Bedford races. The course was about two miles from
the station, and there were no flys left, so I and two friends
started to walk.. We had not gone far, before a good-looking
but wretchedly bad two-year-old of mine, called Mexico, came
trotting by to run in a selling-race. I hailed the boy, and,
lengthening the stirrups, mounted and trotted away quite
gaily, when presently poor Harry Hastings, Peter Wilkinson,
and two others came by in a fly and saw me ; they set to
holloaing, putting up umbrellas, and trying all they knew to
startle my blood hack, and, though good fun enough for them,
it was only middling for me, for there was a nasty open ditch
running alongside the road. However, I stuck to my quad
and rode into the paddock ; but even my exquisite horseman-
ship on the turnpike didn't make the duffer win his race on
the turf.

The Cambridgeshire this year was memorable for the dead
heat between ' Uncle Clayton's ' Lozenge and Joey Hawley's
Wolsey, and in the decider Lozenge won by a neck; but,
though all my pals won, I was not on. Dear old Tom Drake
was very proud of his uncle, and all the family had a nice
bite. Buckworth Powell, late of the Grenadiers, did a good
stroke of business once over this very race, in 1868, when See-
saw won. An old gentleman whom he had frequently met
while dining at Arthur's Club, died and left him £100, and

244 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Powell, not caring to invest so small a sum, put it down upon
See-saw for the Cambridgeshire. Two or three commissioners
w^ere employed, and by placing the <£100 in driblets all round
the lists, pretty w^ell simultaneously, the money averaged about
100 to 1. Curiously enough £105 was put on by mistake,
instead of <£100. So Powell w^on £10,500. In gratitude
for his good-fortune he devoted the odd £500 to purchasing
a peal of bells for his parish church, then in course of
restoration.

A neighbour of ours in Lincolnshire, Capt. Skipworth {alias
Don Pedro), had a breeding-stud, and he the previous autumn,
being rather taken with the good luck Actaea had brought
(through me) to her owner, offered to lease two of his yearlings
to me, and I sent the two colts, Lictor and Limner, both by
Lambton by the Cure, to Drewitt's, and Lictor turned out a
fairish two-year-old, winning me a plate at Newmarket, the
Grand Stand Plate at the Ascot Spring Meeting, and the
Sussex Stakes at Newmarket Houghton. I ought to have
won a cracker on him the first time I ran him. in a selling-race
at Epsom Spring, but he was an awkward horse for a boy to
ride, as he pulled hard ; so I was obliged to put a double
bridle on him, and, though he got off every false start, he was
left lengths when the flag fell. He made up a tremendous lot
of ground but could only get second, and I was very fortunate
in getting "Westmoreland to claim him for me, on condition I
claimed his horse for him.

In the following year, 1868, 1 backed Lictor for a lot to win
the Wokingham Stakes at Ascot ; but he ran badly, and as
he was on the spot I decided to run him at Windsor the
following week, and wdien I arrived on the course, I was much
surprised by my old friend Frail (who was clerk of the course
at Windsor) coming to me and asking me to be allowed to
stand the odds to ten pounds with me on Lictor for the Eton
Handicap, a mile. Of course I told him he could do so ; but,
showing him a whole page in my betting-book that I had
devoted to Lictor' s chance in the Wokingliam, I declared he
could have but little chance of winning. But, with hat in
hand, the old boy assured me the race was good for Lictor,
and I (with a certain amount of sense) concluded the intelli-
gent one knew more than I did, and must be aware that two
or three of the most dangerous starters w^ere not on the job ;
so I took 2000 to 200, and with much pleasure handed the
'talented one' 100 sovereigns as his share of the spoil when
Lictor had won cleverly. The horse did me but little good

DEATH OF MR. CORBETT. 245

afterwards, and I sold him to Hawley for J 5 00, and he won
the Liverpool Autumn Cup for him.

It was during the Goodwood Meeting this year that a
summons arrived for the wife and me to return at once to
Elsham ; for her father had been taken very seriously ill ; on
arriving home we found the poor old squire in a very prostrate
condition, and he shortly after passed away without any
suffering. A more courteous, high-minded gentleman never
lived, and though he and I had few notions in common, and
many quite antagonistic, yet during the ten years I had been
living so much with him, we never had even a little tiff, and
I take it his latter days were some of the happiest of his life ;
for he doted on his grandchildren.

He left a very just and generous will ; the only fault I
could possibly find with it was, that my son on succeeding to
his estates should take the name of Corbett, a good old name
enough, but still I had alw^ays fondly imagined that my boy
would be called Astley. However, the old Corbett motto of
Deus jmscit corvos would hardly have applied in that case, and
so I have got reconciled to the decree. As Mr. Corbett had
willed that my son should not succeed to the property till
twenty-one years after his death, it was decided to place the
estates in Chancery, and I was appointed receiver under the
Court. I had a busy time of it : for, like many a good old
country gentleman that lives on his estate, my father-in-law
had somewhat neglected the buildings on his property. The
two churches, most of the farmsteads, and the greater part of
the cottages, had to be put into tenantable repair, and the
building of two new school-houses and twenty-five pair of
cottages w^as my first duty ; while the laying out of a large
sum of money in bricks and mortar gave me plenty to super-
intend ; not to mention the re-valuing of all the farms, and
fresh agi-eements with all the tenants.

I entered thoroughly into my new duties, which interested
me much, and I was several times complimented by the Master
of the Rolls, or rather the chief clerk, on my work, and I look
back on my twenty-one years' receivership with considerable
satisfaction, somewhat marred by the conviction that here and
there I bought bits of land, which either cut into our property
or were contiguous to it, at too high a price ; but it must be
remembered that no wdiite man could have imagined that land
would have depreciated to the ruinous extent it has. Touching
that topic, in the sixties the choice security that money-
lenders or mortgagees selected to trust their money on was

246 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

land ; as the knowing ones used to say, ' that can't run away.'
Now the same parties will agree to lend their money on any
safe security, always excejytiny land.

This autumn I leased six two-year-olds of Captain Skip worth,
all by Wamba, who was by Touchstone ; but they didn't do
me any good. I called them "Wanderer, Workman, Witless,
Woful, Watteau, and Wrestler. One day in 1869, at
Winchester races, I went to the large tent which then served
for a shelter for the jockeys, and asked whether there was a
lad who could ride 6 st., and a small voice answered, ' I can,
sir,' and out came a proper-looking little kid, and he told me
his name was Fred Webb. I put him up on Wanderer, and
told him to come along and never look behind him, and
he won handsomely. I think that was the first race that
now fine horseman ever won. Workman also won that
day, but I returned, or sold, all six colts before the year
was out.

I had gone to stay that spring with Lord Wilton at Melton
for Croxton Park races, and there was a house full of ' sports '
of both sexes. I ran a three-year-old called Provider by
Caterer, which I had bought of Drewitt. I knew little or
nothing about him, but Fordham rode him very judiciously on
that very peculiar course, and won the Belvoir Stakes, one mile,
advising me to run him again that afternoon in the Granby
Handicap, a mile and a half, and he won quite easily. When
we got home to tea, one or two of the ladies gave it to me
very hot (not the tea) for not telling them at breakfast of my
good thing ; but nothing would have pleased me better than to
have been the means of putting them on a winner, especially
poor dear Maria of Ailesbury, who had always been so kind
to me when quite a lad j but I didn't know enough to tell
them.

At Chester, this same year, I tried to do the legitimate and
safe trick of standing a bit to nil. I found out on the Tuesday
that Knight of the Garter would surely run for the Chester
Cup the next day, and would be ridden by Fordham ; so, after
luncheon, I judiciously employed a few minutes in taking 8000
to 1000 about The Knight, and felt proud of the feat, feeling
certain that I should be able to stand at least two or three
thousand to nothing, by hedging when the numbers went up.
But, would you believe it 1 the imbecile army of backers didn't
fancy The Knight's chance, seeing that after he won (which
he did easily) he was returned in the papers as starting at 7 to
1, therefore I had no chance of laying oil: my money at a profit,

KNIGHT OF THE GARTER AT CHESTER. 247

and had it not been for Harry Chaplin arriving just before
the race, I should have had to stand the whole shot. How-
ever, as I could not afford to lose four figures I laid him
1800 to 200, and then was obliged to win over £5000 on
the race.

I bought a nice two-year-old chestnut filly, Tit-Bit, by
Weatherbit, at Brighton that summer out of a selling-race,
and won a race with her next day, and another at Newmarket
Second October. She generally swerved a bit even when
winning easily, and in the Houghton Meeting I determined to
have a ' dash ' on her, being very particular in cautioning
Fordham to mind and not interfere with the other horses.
He was romj^ing home in a little T.Y.C. Handicap race,
when she suddenly swerved right across from the oli", to
the near side of the course, but she was so far ahead of
the others that the objection made by the owner of the
second was generally considered childish ; however, you
never know, and the Stewards disqualified Tit-Bit, and thus
a hollow win was turned into a solid lose, and she was
claimed.

One of the best feats of weight-carrying by any horse I ever
witnessed, was achieved this year at Goodwood, when good old
Charley Legard's Vespasian, 6 yrs., won the Chesterfield Cup,
ridden by Custance, in a canter, carrying 10 st. 4 lbs. During
this year I was elected a member of the Jockey Club, and felt
very pleased when Admiral Bous told me of my good fortune ;
but I had so much to do at Elsham that I found I had not
time to look after my horses, in addition to which I had a most
fearful bad time of it this autumn. I had lost at every
meeting between Newmarket July and Newmarket Houghton,
and I accordingly sold them all at Tattersall's on the 6 th of
December. They were not a gaudy lot, and only fetched
£3500. To top up with, on the Cambridgeshire day I had
ridden my beautiful grey hack, half Russian, half Arab, the
most gentle and perfect-mannered animal I ever bestrode, and
after a very bad day, my groom Fred came in to tell me that
Buskie (as I called him) would not feed and was shivering. I
went out to the stable, and sent him off for a drink for the
poor gee ; but we had hardly begun dinner before Fred came
running in to say Buskie had dropped down dead, and, sure
enough, there he lay.

It almost looked as if the sensible nag knew what a bad
time I had been having, and died of a broken heart in
consequence. I buried him in the paddock behind our cottage,

248 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

and placed a stone in the wall near his grave (and it's there
now), with this inscription —

Beneath this yer sod lies my poor old quad,
He was very fond of me and I of he you see. ^

J. D. A.

But my friend Bob Honeywood wrote a much better epitaph
for him —

* Thou'rt gone, my loved steed ; my own gallant grey,
Can I ever forget that Cambridge.shire day ?
Thou hast gone, and thy loss I shall ever deplore.
Thy Mate may be seen, but thy Match never more.'

The cottage I mentioned was a small one I had rented at
Newmarket. It had been built by Robinson the jockey, and
had a grass paddock behind it of about an acre, and we kept
our hacks at Mrs. Flatman's (the widow of old JS^at), next door.
Jn the spring of 1870 I bought this cottage and paddock for
£3000, and 1 don't think I ever enjoyed any period of my life
so much as those pleasant meetings at Newmarket ; for we did
the thing ' proper.' We each (wife and I) had two hacks, and
never missed a morning, when it was fine, but were out on the
Limekilns, or wherever the horses were doing their work, by
8.30, and came in to a delicious breakfast, with plenty of
appetite, at 10.30. An hour or so before the races we mounted
our fresh hacks, and with a fly to carry our coats, cloaks, and
convey our two grooms, we caracoled down to the races, seldom
dismounting, but riding from saddling-paddock to betting-ring,
and backwards and forwards between different courses. If it
rained real hard, we hopped oil: into our fly. Ah ! those were
happy days, and no error ; and it was a bitter blow Avhen, in
after years, the nicest little crib at Newmarket had to be sold,
and Jockey Wood bought it, and built those splendid stables
in the paddock now the property of Colonel North.

I must now hark back to the Cambridgeshire of 1870.
Count Renard had brought over a beautiful three-year-old
called Adonis. How it was I never knew, but old Joe Saxon
seemed to have the management of the horse, and as I knew
him pretty well I used to talk much to him about Adonis, and
I believe the old toad persuaded me to back him for the
Cesarewitch ; but I got no run for my money. However, I
determined to be on for the Cambridgeshire, and took 40 to 1
about him. There were some ugly rumours flying about that

^ Surely Sir John ought to have had the refusal of the Poet Laureate-
ship ! — Editor.

SAXON'S CONNECTION WITH ADONIS. 249

the horse would not start, or that, if he did go to the post, he
would not hurry. No doubt old Saxon and his friends stood
against the animal, for certain of the pencillers were always
willing to lay a point over the odds against him, no matter
how confident Count Renard was that his horse could, and
would, win.

Now, it so happened that the Sunday before the Cambridge-
shire, Joe Saxon arrived by train in the afternoon, and, as
was his wont, he put up at a public kept by one White, w^ho
had been our messman in the Tower of London, and he told
me the next day that Saxon, when he came off the train, sat
down in the bar and asked for a cup of tea, but as he was
raising the cup to his lips he suddenly fell forward out of his
chair, dead. The mysterious connection between Saxon and
Adonis was at once apparent, for the man was no sooner cold
than the horse came real hot, and he won in a common canter,
starting first favourite at 6 to 1, in a big field, and, though it
suited me right well, there was more than one prominent
bookie who had a nasty knock over that race. Lord Falmouth
won his first Derby this year with Kingcraft, but he was real
lucky to land it, for Macgregor, who had won the Two Thousand,
and on whom odds of 9 to 4 were laid, broke down in the
race.

From 1870 to 1873 I kept no racehorses, except, I believe,
Gaston, 4 yrs., by Light, whom I bought of T. Y. Morgan for
.£200 at Newmarket, and I ran him in the Feather Plate, last
3 miles B.CV^ As this annual race had been won by two-year-
olds for some years, I only took ten ponies about Gaston, and
was quite agreeably surprised to see him win, entirely owing
to jockeyship, for the little boys who rode the two-year-olds
were so tired that they were helpless ; but Custance, who
rode mine, fairly lifted him past the post. I sold Gaston for
£500 to Charley Kerr, who bought him for a friend for
steeplechasing.

I now busied myself in building some hovels, and parting
the grass fields near Elsham Hall into paddocks ; and bought
a few brood mares. The first two I purchased were Vexation
and Vigorous, both by Yedette, and I only gave about £250
for the two at Tattersall's ; both were in foal, and Yexation
colt, by Knowsley, turned out a real good miler. I sold him
as a yearling to Dudley Carleton, who won eight races with
him in 1873. During the winter of 1869, I had bought
Broomielaw, by Stockwell out of Queen Mary, of H. Chaplin,
^ Beacon Course, Newmarket.

250 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

at 'Tatt.'s' for XI 600. He was a beautiful dark brown
horse, perfectly sound, and the finest mover I think I ever
saw ; but he had what some people would call a vile temper,
but I A'erily believe his temper was spoilt by bad treatment.
He was one of those high-couraged horses that resent rough
usage ', unlike the timid, cow-tempered brutes who seem
satisfied that man has a right to knock them about and bully
them.

When I bought Broomielaw, I bought Phillips, the man
that looked after him, as well ; but he was no catch, as he
could not resist drink, and on one occasion when he had been
to Brigg, I happened to be in the yard, and saw that he was
drunk ; so 1 told him to give me the key of Broomielaw's box,
and I would feed and do him up. He ' smoled ' a drunken
smile, and gave me the key. I didn't much fancy the job,
but as the head-collar hung outside the box, I half opened the
door a.nd gave the horse a bit of sugar, and whilst he was
munching it I put on his head-collar, and put him on the
rack-chain, set his bed fair with the fork, brought him his
feed and some carrots, took his collar off, and locked him up
for the night, taking the key with me. I was up Avith the
lark in the morning, and found Phillips blubbering outside
the box, and whining to be let go in to the horse ; but I told
him to be off, and did Broomielaw myself, and would not
allow the drunkard to go into his box till mid-day, wdiich
salutary lesson lasted him for a short time. Another day,
when Broomielaw was amiss, and the little vet. didn't properly
apply his prescription, I volunteered to do it, and as the
stuff made him smart, the horse was very angry, and some
week or ten days afterwards, on my return from a visit, I
met him at exercise in the village, and, as was my wont, I
went up towards him, to give him a bit of sugar, when he
suddenly let out straight from the shoulder with his off fore,
and had I been a foot nearer, my gasti-onomic apparatus
would have been cruelly altered, and it took me quite a week
to make friends with him again. No one can deny that the
intelligent animal recollected I had been the party who had
caused him pain, and he owed me one for it.

In 1871, a neighbour of ours, Marshall of Grimsby, won
the Goodwood Cup with Shannon, by Lambton ; she started
at 50 to 1 in a field of six, but did our locality no good. I
had a fair race on the Cambridgeshire, when Fordham, who
rode a wonderful race, won on Sabinus, starting at 33 to 1 ;
Sterling and AUbrook, running a dead heat for second, only

MY VENERATION FOR MY xMOTHER. 251

beaten a head from the winner. Allbrook ought to have won
anyhow, but Jarvis rode his head off. In 1872, my cousin
John N. Astley's horse, Pell Mell, was only just beaten by a
head for the Derby by Cremorne. It was a wonderful, well-
kept, quiet good thing, and started at 50 to 1 ; but all were
glad to see Henry Savile win, for he was a real good sportsman
and a genial friend. A nice, fat, cheery chap, Joe Radcliffe,
won the Cesarewitch this year with a fine big three-year-old,
Salvanos by Dollar, and little F. Archer rode him wonderfully
well at 5 St. 7 lbs. ; the gigantic horse tried to run out of the
course, but the tiny mannikin kept him straight.

It was in this year, 1872, that I lost my mother — ah ! and
such a mother, the most perfect woman ever created, of that
I have never had the least doubt. She was the most beautiful,
most graceful, and most gifted of her sex, and, what was more
to the point, she was as good as she looked. I have never
seen any water-coloured drawings so good as hers, no matter
which line she took up — portrait, landscape, or flower-painting
■ — she was/ac27e princeps at all. I may have heard— though I
don't recollect it — a woman sing with as much feeling, or
play the piano as bewitchingly as she could ; but I will swear
I never heard any man or woman sing and play their own
accompaniment as did she. She left ten of us to mourn her
loss, six boys and four girls, and, though we were not all real
cherubs without faults, she managed to rear us by kindness
and example, so that none of us ever gave her any real trouble.
In 1854 my mother — and she was not the only one — received
a terrible shock, when, a day or two after the battle of the
Alma, a telegram was handed to her by some unthinking idiot
while she was on a visit to the Ailesburys at Savernake :
' Captain Astley dangerously wounded.' How that horrible
word ever was used I don't know, it never occurred in any
newspaper accounts ; anyway it fairly knocked her over, and
she never really was herself again afterwards ; and, as I have
already said, she died in December 1872, and we, her six
sons, carried her shoulder-high to her grave (I never heard of
a similar feat), and, though it is now over twenty years ago,
I recollect well the buzz of admiration that ran through the
crowd of villagers, as we paid this last tribute of respect to
their kind friend, and our well -beloved parent.

Consequently, in 1873 I went to few races till the New-
market Autumn, as my father died in July. He was knocked
down by a stroke of paralysis some months before. He was
a wonderful kind-hearted, good creatui-e, but very shy (like

252 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

me !), and had no dash or go about him ; he was an extra-
ordinary powerfully built, handsome man, and ought to have
been champion of England if he had ever cared to learn the
art. I thought I would try my luck as a Bart, at Newmarket
Autumn, but lost at all three meetings. Old Merry was in
great form this year, for he won the Derby with Doncaster,
and the Oaks with Marie Stuart ; then ran them both on
their merits for the Leger (without a declaration), and after
a tremendous finish the mare won, a head. This winter I
bought of Charley Kerr, Scamp, 2 yrs., by the Rake out of
Lady Sophie, bred by Blanton, with whom I decided to train
at Newmarket. The two-year-old had only run once, but
Blanton was sanguine he would stay.

Our old place, Everleigh, had been let, but this autumn it
was unoccupied ; so I went down there with a few friends to
shoot the coverts. The largest farm on the estate was also
tenantless in '74, worse luck, so I had to take it in hand and
stock it — a rather diiBcult process to some folks, without a
guinea in the bank. But I was very well, and full of con-
fidence ; so one day I went down to Everleigh, and on getting
out at Andover Station, a friend put his head out of one of
the carriages and asked me ' where I was going, and what was
my errand V so I, at the top of my voice, halloaed to him that
'I was going to stock a 1600 acre farm without a guinea.'
The sequel will show that there is no great harm in being
outspoken in some instances. There were two good sales of
farm-stock in the neighbourhood that week, and before attend-
ing them I went over to Salisbury to see if either of the banks
there would stand me a bit of ' ready ' ; but, though they put
it nicely, so as not to hurt my feelings, I was told that, ' As I
was not a client of theirs, and they had been hardish hit by
the bad times, they regretted not being able to accommodate
me.' I thought it very mean of them, for I onli/ wanted from
four to five thousand pounds with which to buy implements,
sheep, and horses (bullocks on Salisbury Plain being an almost
unknown quantity), and as I offered to give them a lien on
my purchases, they could not lose much ; however, they didn't
bite.

The following day I attended a large sale at one of Lord
Ailesbury's farms at CoUingbourne, and, with the assistance
of a friendly glass, I asked the auctioneer from Devizes
whether he would take my bids, candidly informing him that
I had no money, and didn't rightly know when I should have
any ; but that I meant paying him as soon as I could. He

BROWN TO THE RESCUE. 253

was an excellent chap, and, though somewhat amused at my
candour, exhorted me to bid for whatever I wanted, and / did.
The same thing occurred the next day at Netheravon, only
that the auctioneer came from Salisbury ; but he was equally
complaisant, and the result was that I not only bought all I
wanted, but I flattered myself I bought well, to the tune of
about £4000, and I really felt quite rich the next day when I
saw strings of horses, implements, and sheep, all being stowed
away on lower Everleigh farm.

I had selected a likely sort of bailiff, and off I started to
some race-meeting, to try and get a bit of ready to pay off
those two charming auctioneers ; but luck was against me,
and I could not even hold my own, much less touch any coin.
Well, I was at my wits' end, for I felt I ought in all honour
to convince those two eminent men that their confidence in
me was not misplaced. That day's post brought me a letter
from my brother Hugh, to say that ' the manager of the
Caj)ital and Counties Bank would be glad to have a chat with
me.^ I got in the train and sped down to Warminster, and,
finding the manager in the bank, he spake thus to me : ' Our
Mr. Brown was in the train the other day, and he gathered
from what you said to a friend on the platform at Andover,
that you wanted four or five thousand pounds to stock a farm
at Everleigh, and he desired me to inform you that you can
have an overdraft for four thousand pounds at our bank.'
Deary me ! how I loved the Browns — old Brown, middle-aged
Brown, and young Brown, whitey Brown, or any coloured
Brown, were to me glorified into angels, and all with wings.
Of course I didn't disclose what a fix the blessed Brown had
got me out of, but at the same time I was very grateful for
the courteous accommodation, and all I had to do was to leave
my signature and take with me a blank cheque-book.

Now, which is best : to whisper with bated breath of your
impecuniosity, or to proclaim it on the house-top — no, I mean
on the railway-station "? If you can help it, never have a secret,
say I. Well, I paid for all my farm-stock, and the following
year was lucky enough to find a tenant, and realized a profit
on my purchases, paying off the Capital and Counties with
hearty thanks, and one cheer more for ' our Mr. Brown.'

The first rent-day after my father's death I went down with
my lawyer, good old Peake, to take the rents at Everleigh,
and Sir John Kelk was travelling in the same carriage, going
to have a final look at Tedworth (old Tom Assheton Smith's
late property) before deciding to buy it, for, I think, £200,000,

254 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

and when we got out at Andover, he confided to Peake that
he would sooner buy Everleigh, and bid him oifer me <£1 30,000
for it. But I scorned the idea of selling the old place then,
although my son would be glad to take less for it now. It is
one of the nicest places (of its sort) in England, capital shoot-
ing, a very comfortable house, and one of the best training-
grounds, with every variety of gallop, in Europe — only wants
training-stables building — and, had my good father been will-
ing, Sir Joseph Hawley would have put up stables and trained
there. I wish he had.

255

CHAPTER XXIY.

Brocklesby Country — Many good Horsemen — J. M. Ricliardson of Limber
— Disturbance and Reiigny — Win Goodwood Stakes with Scamp — -
Enter the House of Commons— My Grandfather's Election Accounts —
Rowland Winn (Lord Sc. Oswald) — The Lawson Liquor Bill— I answer
as to my own — Horseplay while Canvassing — I bring in a Bill to
Restrain Farm-servants administering Deleterious Drugs to their Horses
— Rather too free in Speaking my Mind on Teetotalism, also about the
Irish Party — I am called upon to Retract — Mr. Sullivan keeps the Ball
Rolling— A Maiden Speech in the House — Chevalier O'Clery, M.P. for
Wexford — All's Well that Ends Well— Mr. Mundella— Quiet Moments
in the Snuggery of the Serjeant-at-Arms (Gossett) — My Opinion as to
the Merits of being M.P. — I lose my Seat at the General P^lectiou of
1880— Vow never to stand again — Am presented with my Portrait —
Sit to Sir John ]\Iillais— Agricultural Shows — I appear in the Arena
as a Competitor— The W^ater-jump at Lincoln Show — I retire from the
Show-ring in favour of the Light- Weights.

To alter the scene a bit, we will return to Lincolnshire, where,
in the neighbonrhood of Brocklesby, every spring our Hunt
Steeplechases c.ime olf, and very useful cross-country horses
were owned and bred thereabouts, while few Hunts could
boast of so many good riders between the flags. Foremost
amongst them was J. M. Eichardson (Pussy) of Limber, and
in 1873 he trained (at home) Disturbance, and won the Grand
National on him, beating 27 others. The following year he
won again on Pveugny.^ Both horses belonged to Capt. Machell,
who used to be down in our country a good deal in those days
during the hunting season. It was a wonderful feat for so
young a man as Ptichardson, to train and ride two consecutive
winners of the Grand jSTational.

I ought to have paid more attention than I did to the little
stable at Limber, for it was only seven miles from us, but I
confess I underrated the establishment, and therefore won but
little on its successes. Not so the neighbours generally, for

1 Marcus Beresford's Chimney-sweep, 2, Jones ; Dick Thorold's Merlin,
3, Adams.

256 FIFTY YEARS OF .AIY LIFE.

most of them had their bit on, and much money cii'culated in
consequence.

One and all were wishful to celebrate the double success of
our popular young rider ; so a dinner was organized at Brigg,
and I never presided over a more enthusiastic assembly than
filled the large Corn Exchange the night of the feast. The
dinner-tickets I had printed with the apt inscription : ' Dis-
tm'bance, but no Row.' I forget now how many dozen of
champagne were consumed, but I recollect one of the guests —
and a very good sort too — backing into one of the large tubs
that had been filled with ice for the champagne, and down he
flopped to my immense amusement, and his own consternation.
I didn't envy him his long drive home that night, for he had
no change.

J. M. Eichardson was, and is noAV, one of the best
performers I ever saw over a country, and few men who
have ridden as much as he has have got off with so few falls,
which fact is, doubtless, attributable to his exquisitely light
hands ; no horse ever really pulled -with him. When he got
married he gave up steeplechasing, more's the pity. However,
he married one of the very best, and at the next General
Election we all hope he will be oiu' futm^e member.

Two great events happened to me in 1874 — I won the
Goodwood Stakes with Scamp, and was sent to the House of
Commons. I enjoyed Scamp's victory a long way the most, so
we will take that first. After a satisfactory gallop with some
fair trying tackle, I engaged T. Glover (or, as we called him,
' Tommy Clover ') to ride Scamp in the Goodwood Stakes, and
as he won comfortably, I had a good fair race on him ; but the
price didn't average anything like Blackdown's had done.
However, I won about £4000 on the week, and went on to
Brighton, where Scamp won the stakes as well ; so I couldn't
grumble. Blanton had brought him out in perfect condition,
the horse looked as round as an apple, and yet was fit to run
for his life ; and that's the art of training, for sm^ely it is
much pleasanter to see your horse look big and above himself,
ready to run another race or two, than to see him drawn too
fine, with deep water-marks down his quarters, and a ' weary
of life ' look about him.

The morning of the Goodwood Stakes, when I was out on^
my hack seeing the horses do their work on the course, I met
old Tom Jennings, than whom we have no more practical
long-distance trainer, and he said to me : 'I wish you luck,.
Sir John, but friend Charley has been too lenient with Scamp ;;

I BECOME A LEGISLATOR. 257

he wants half-a-dozen more rousing gallops.' Good old Tom !
he had given his Goodwood Cup horse too many ' rousing
gallops/ and couldn't produce him on the day, though on the
spot. Scamp ran third in the Leger, and won me a Queen's
Plate at Shrewsbury, where I bought a nice mare out of a
selling-race, May Day, 4 yrs., by Thormanby out of Blue Bell,
and won a race with her the following day ; but she had not
the best of legs, and I only just managed to get her through a
match at Newmarket July, in 1875, when she broke down,
and I sold her to Blanton for a brood mare. That match was
a real good one — ^May Day, 5 yrs., and Tripaway, 4 yrs., 8 st.
7 lbs. each, T.Y.C. Fordham rode mine, and Archer, Lord
Rosslyn's mare, and the Kid^ just won by a head — he Avas a
wonder in a match, and no mistake. Broomieknowe, the first
winner I bred by Broomielaw, w^on me a race that year at
Ascot, and two at Newmarket.

I now became a Legislator — oh clear, was there ever such
a parody on that exalted title ! I had always vowed nothing
should induce me to stick M.P. at the end of my name. My
good old grandfather had represented the Northern Division
of Wiltshire for fourteen years, and the honour of gaining two
contested elections cost him over £100,000. He had been
careful to have a summary of his expenses methodically noted
down in a book (which I have now), and the items are too
ridiculous ; for instance, ' ribbons ' — whatever that may mean
— came to nearly £5000 ; the boots and the chambermaid at
the Black Bear at Devizes are each down for £25, and they
were no better treated than other servants at all the other
Tory hotels of the principal towns in the Division.

To pay this heavy sum he sold old family property in
Warwickshire and Staifordshire. The Howes and the Dart-
mouths bought the principal part of it, and in the fly-leaf of
this curious account-book is inscribed in his own handwriting,
and duly signed by him : ' I have had these accounts carefully
compiled and vouched, to warn those that come after me not
to enter into similar folly.' This warning, coupled with the
knowledge that I was in no way fitted for the House of
Commons, had determined me never to spend a bob in trying
for a seat ; but when my Lincolnshire friends — and they were
legion — put it to me that if I would only stand there would be
no opposition, and that all my expenses would be paid, I softly
gave way, and straightway went round the constituency in
conjunction with ExDwland Winn (afterwards created Lord St.
^ Geome Foidliain.

258 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Oswald), who tlien represented the Division, and whose late
colleague, Sir M. Cholmeley, a Liberal, had just died.

I had never discussed or thought much about politics. I
distrusted old Gladstone, and had no great admiration for
Disraeli. However, I went for the old Tory colours, the
penchant for which had cost my old granddad so much. The
very first place I visited with Winn was Crowle, in the Isle
of Axholme, and there, from a waggon drawn up in the
market-place, we had to address the pick of the voters in their
district. After I had followed the sitting member, and
announced in clumsy fashion my earnest hope that 1 might
occupy the proud position of their representative in the House
of Commons, and mildly touched on two or three topics of
local interest, I boldly challenged any man present to ask me
questions on any subject. I believe the Permissive Bill was
at that time exciting much interest in the country, but I was
totally nonplussed, when a truculent-looking politician stepped
forward, and asked me my opinion of Sir Wilfrid Lawson's
' Liquor Bill ' : however, I pulled myself together and
promptly stated that I didn't know much about Sir W.
Lawson's Liquor Bill, but I did know that mine was a deuced
sight too high that year. This naive remark was received
with much cheering, and my questioner, who had a long list
of interrogatories ready for me, was advised on all sides to
shut up, which he did, and my fame as a deeply read, as well
as ready politician was established all over that part of the
country.

I had many curious experiences whilst canvassing, but was
well received in nearly every district I visited ; the only
exception was at one of the Wold villages, where some roughs
had got together at the dark end of a loft (dimly lighted by
tallow dips) where the meeting was held, and there made
hideous noises. The brutes didn't like me telling them that
they dared not come to the front and have it out ; so when I
drove away in the dark, smoking my cigar, one of them took a
pretty shot with a stone, and actually broke my cigar in two,
the stump remaining in my mouth. I was returned without
opposition, and the following year came the General Election
of 1875, when, though several Eadical candidates were talked
of, thank goodness ! never a one turned up. Winn and I
went round the constituency again, and duly took our seats as
before. My good old colleague urged me to belong to the
Carlton Club, but I had an idea that politics were the all-
absorbing topics there, and as I thought I might get too

INTRODUCE MY BILL TO THE HOUSE. 259

saturated with them, I firmly declined talking shop, except
in the House of Commons and its precincts ; the Turf and the
Marlborough were good enough clubs for me.

I attended to my duties fairly well, and in a weak moment
was induced by some of my agricultural friends to bring in a
Bill, making it a punishable offence for the men who looked
after cart-horses, to give them any poisonous compound without
their master's leave. Arsenic and antimony were the principal
destructives which these horsemen were in the habit of buying
and giving to their charges, with the intention of improving
the sleek appearance of their coats. These poisons, when
administered in too large, or too frequent quantities, caused
serious havoc among the best agricultural horses on our Wolds,
and I got up a whole heap of statistics and facts, of the harm
caused by this baneful practice. It is extraordinary how
many horses were killed outright, and hundreds of those that
survived had their constitutions destroyed, and gradually
wasted away without any apparent cause.

The fii'st night I got leave to introduce my Horse-Poisoning
Bill I shall never forget, for, though I had no difficulty in
talking sense or otherwise, either before or after dinner, to my
constituents on subjects that were of far more interest to them
than to me ; yet, when I got up in the House of Commons
and essayed to speak a few words on a subject which did
interest me, and the facts connected with which I was really
well posted, my tongue clove to the roof of my mouth, and
became like dry leather, and I became painfully aware that
several unkind M.P.s took a delight in torturing their young
friend by asking silly questions about his Bill ; while old
Butt, Q.C., the leader of the Irish Brigade, openly declared
I was trying to stop the poisoning of racehorses, and Sir
William Harcourt protested against punishing the horsemen,
who were only actuated by a laudable desire to improve the
appearance of their horses, and these two potent enemies put
their names down to block my poor little Bill.

I coaxed the old Irishman to withdraw his opposition by
assuring him the purport of my Bill had nothing to do with
racehorses, and with the valuable assistance of the then
member for Cambridgeshire, I convinced Harcourt, that a
man taking his master's wheat or cake, to give to his cart-
horse, without leave, was liable to a fine or imprisonment. A
nice time I had of it searching in the vast library of the
House of Commons, for precedents to satisfy that astute but
stubborn old lawyer, and, had it not been for the assistance of

26o FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

H. Chaplin, I should never have got through the third reading ;
but ' Right is Might,' and my Bill was ordered to be printed.
Well, though I say it as hadn't ought, it's about the most
useful little bit of common sense that poor agriculturists have
been treated to for many a long day, and though occasionally
its powers have to be exercised, yet the deterrent effect of my
Bill has been most successful.

I sometimes was guilty of using rather strong language at
meetings that my constituents asked me to attend — convivial
or otherwise — and though I don't believe I ever exceeded the
bounds of honest truth, yet the bare truth, unless a little
wrapped up, will at times provoke much criticism, not to say
heart-burnings. At the risk of wearying my readers I must
give two instances of the trouble I got into from not mincing
my words. I was chairman at a dinner at Grimsby, of the
Licensed Victuallers' Association of the district, and, in giving
the toast of the evening, I dilated on the absurdity of any man
of sense, and gifted with any control over himself, becoming
a teetotaller, and I stated that a teetotaller in my opinion was
a ' poor devil,' explaining that somewhat strong definition, by
arguing that any party who took the pledge, did so because
he could not trust himself to take a fair whack of liquor
without taking too much, and therefore was a pitiable atom
of society.

Notwithstanding that my conviction was cordially endorsed
by my friends at the table, a constituent at a neighbouring
town, on reading my speech in the newspaper, wrote me to
say that, though he was a teetotaller, he was not a 'poor
devil,' and invited me to come and see for myself. I at once
replied to his letter by obser\nng that, on consideration, I was
inclined to think ' poor devil ' was perhaps too strong a term,
and that I would substitute ' poor creature ' for it, and the
next time I was in his neighbourhood I would certainly take
the opportunity of accepting his kind invite, and share half-a-
pint of hot tea with him and his belongings (if he had any) ;
and I did, and was much pleased to find that, though a fierce
Kadical, he so much appreciated my character that he would
not vote against me when next he had the chance ; but, mind
you, he was a chemist, and therefore had every facility at
hand for counteracting the deleterious effects caused by a
strict regime of tea-leaves and snowballs.

The other instance of too strong a vocabulary was at a
luncheon-party, where some two hundred good men and true
cheered their new member, and their own inner man, before

MY EXPLANATION TO THE HOUSE. 261

an auction-sale of some first-class shearling Lincoln tups at
Owersby. In responding to the toast of ' The House of
Commons ' I made a little too free with the characters of a
certain section of the Irish members, whose sole object seemed
to consist in obstructing every useful measure brought forward
by the Government. I quote from memory, but I believe I
told my readers that I had mixed with many crowds of rufSans
— as I was fond of sport of all kinds — and, therefore, had con-
siderable experience of the rough element, but my conviction
was that I had never met under one roof forty more con-
founded rascals than Ireland had sent uj^ to represent her in
the House of Commons. Though there was a lot of truth in
it, yet the way I put it was a bit too stiff, no doubt, and in
consequence I had several letters from the Irish members,
many of whom seemed keen to have a shot at me.

A certain Chevalier wrote most to the point, and as I
was told he was not half a bad fellow, I admitted to him I
felt the term ' rascal ' was a bit too strong, and I would with-
draw it ; however, that didn't suit one, Sullivan, who got up
in the House and rated me soundly for my truism, and I got
leave from the Speaker to give a personal explanation the
next day. I went down to the House that afternoon, feeling
about as uncomfortable as I ever did in my life, for I mis-
trusted my powers of rhetoric in that august chamber. I
find in a cutting from some newspaper the following, which
I believe is about a correct version of what happened on the
occasion —

' Sir John made his maiden speech to-night, and a charming
performance it was. Sir John, you will know, is the author of
the famous speech in which the Irish memhers of the House of
Com^mons were delicately described as numbering in their ranks
'^ forty of the most confounded rascals ever seenP Mr. Sullivan
liad made it appear last night that Sir John had apologized for
these expressions at the point of the pistol, vicariously p)resented
by Chevalier O'Clery, M.P.for Wexford.

' This had troubled Sir John Astley a great deal more than his
conscience had, in the matter of his speech; and here he was
standing midway across the floor (a serious breach of the rules
of the House), with his hands kept out of his trousers pockets
evidently only by violent efforts of moral suasion, and talking
to the House of Commons as if it were the assembled mess in
barracks. " There are a good many people who mightn't know
Fd been in the army ; " that being the gallant Baronet's modest

262 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

way of hinting at the fact thai he had been in the forefront of
the battle of the Alma, and had brought away three wounds. '* /
have never been afraid of any individual yet,'' he continued ;
and a buzz of symijathy with Sir John went through the House,
as it was comprehended how iwofoundly he was impressed with
the surrounding circumstances, when he thus used so highly
proper a word as " individual," when " chap " must have come
so trippingly to his tongue.

' The first appearance of the gallant member for North Lincoln-
shire was undoubtedly a great success. A burly, handsome man
is Sir John, with opulent white hair crowning a black-bearded
face, that laughed all over from eyes to mouth, as lie declared
that he had " never had the least fear of an Irishman.'' He
found great favour in the eyes of honourable members, and
resumed his seat amid cheers that could not liave been louder if
his blundering, awkward, hesitating sp)eech had been rounded by
the periods of Cicero, and delivered with the skill of Demosthenes.'

Cheer or no cheer, I was wonderful pleased when I came to
a full stop, and a lot of men came up and shook hands with
me from both sides of the House. One of the most vigorous
in his congratulations was Mundella, who assured me with
much feeling that I was a fine specimen of an English country
gentleman. He was, doubtless, a good old judge, and I was
very near asking him to come outside and join a select party
of my pals in a friendly glass over it ; but I let him off. I
met the Chevalier above-mentioned, some two or three years
since in the street, and he then assured me that my opinion
of his old colleagues was not a bit exaggerated, as he had
found to his cost. How those forty senators (or their suc-
cessors) have been going on since, is notorious ; and I only
wish I could as correctly pick out now the true form of the
equine competitors in the Derby or Autumn Handicaps, as T
did the characters of the Irish brigade in the House of
Commons in the seventies.

I think I had best finish up my parliamentary career
straight off. Well, the precincts of St. Stephen's held few
charms for me, and I was always glad when I could get out of
that political atmosphere ; had it not been for the good old
Serjeant-at-Arms (Gossett), Avho had a snug room ujj-stairs
where most of the cheeriest members used to congregate, and
over a drop of Scotch and a cigar discuss the leading topics of
the day, capping each other's good stories whilst waiting for
the division bell to ring, I don't know what I should have

NOTICE TO QUIT. 263

done, I can well understand a man who wants to extend his
acquaintance, or is desirous of obtaining some remunerative
appointment in or under the Government of the day, sacrificing
the pleasures of home and other congenial pursuits for the
sake of a seat in Parliament ; but to a country gentleman who
already knows pretty well all the best men in the House, and
has no hankering after ofiice, or, if he has, feels that he don't
possess the brains or qualifications requisite to lift him out of
the ordinary herd — that man, I say, I cannot understand
taking much trouble to become an M.P. ; for even when the
House is up, and you retire to the bosom of your family, you
are allowed no rest, you are constantly called upon to attend
meetings all over the constituency, and are considered fair
game for silly questions and childish interrogatories, in some
cases put to you by creatures who have not education enough
to write them down. No ! it isn't good enough in my humble
oj)inion. All honour, at the same time, do I accord to those
who think it is, and I should certainly vote for a medal with
a suitable inscription being bestowed on every M.P. who can
kiss the book, and declare that his sole object in entering the
House of Commons is summed up in the motto, ' For my God,
my Queen, and my Country.'

Notwithstanding my feelings as expressed above, at the
General Election of 1880 I was actually induced to stand
again, and a Radical candidate by the name of Laycock
appeared on the scene, who hailed from the neighbourhood of
Retford, He was almost a stranger in Lincolnshire, and
though report had it that he possessed considerable command
of money, yet his candidature was not considered likely to
upset either Winn or myself ; however, we buckled to, and
did the canvassing and meetings trick all over again. Every-
where we went I recommended the electors, if they wished for
a change, to at all events stick to Winn, than whom they
could not possibly have a more painstaking or hard-working
member. The polling day duly arrived ; of course I attended
at the counting of the votes, and there gathered with pretty
good certainty, that the Radical topped the poll, and presently
the figures were proclaimed from the Town Hall : Laycock,
4159 ; AVinn, 3949 ; Astley, 3865 ; and I was free, not to say
kicked out,

I could not have believed that I should have been so
mortified as I was at the result. I there and then took my
dying oath that I would never stand again — a declaration for
which I was much blamed at the time, but which has stood

264 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

me in good stead ever since, as I should have been constrained
to have another try. Well, I had been their member six
years, and my many friends decided to present me with my
portrait, out of sympathy at my failure, and that amply
recompensed me ; for at heart I was real glad to find myself
free, though no man likes to be beaten at any game. Sir
John Millais was good enough to take me on as a model, and
after six sittings he produced a picture that I, and those that
come after me, will ever be proud of, and which the late Lord
Wilton (an acknowledged judge of art) told me one day, as I
met him coming out of the Koyal Academy, he considered the
very best portrait of a man he had ever seen. I had it photo-
gravured, and sent a copy round to pretty well all the sub-
scribers of over ten shillings, and so ended my experience as a
County Member.

I believe I gained very many friends, and made very few
(if any) enemies in the constituency. On no occasion do I
meet so many of my old friends who helped me con amove in
my canvassing, as at our county Agricultural Shows, which
come off every year in July ; but I cannot now gratify them
by giving an equestrian performance, as I used to do when I
was their M.P. I believe it w^as on four occasions that I
competed for the jumping prizes on a good old hunter, a
perfect and confidential fencer, that was bound to clear any
obstacle, not excepting iron rails or sheep-nets, but barring
water. At the Show at Grimsby there w^as, fortunately, no
water-jump, and I landed the first prize cleverly ; the lad
that rode the second was over seven stone lighter than I was,
a fair margin even at this game of romps. Being naturally
elated at my success, I the following year was rash enough to
attempt the performance again ; but, bad luck to it ! there was
a water-jump, which caused me grave misgiving : for, to tell
the truth, my old gee and I were not fond of water -jumping.
If there was a fair bottom we always walked through any
water-obstacle, and, if not, we galloped over it by means of the
nearest bridge.

So> on that lovely, bright, hot day at Lincoln Show, I
divested myself of my coat, waistcoat, and hat (all being my
best, that were to appear the following week on the Lawn at
Goodwood), and then, with a cigar in my mouth and a lady's
parasol in my hand, I took my turn at the jumps. The old
gee and I got on first-rate till we arrived at the water, and
then — well, then we both seemed bent on a grand performance.
He went at it hard all, I got firm hold of my 'baccy, likewise

RATHER STIFF CRITICISM. 265

of the parasol, and it looked good odds on a mighty fly — but
deuce a bit ! As soon as ever his keen eye caught sight of the
water over the guard fence, he scotched a bit, and jumping
short, came down on his knees on the edge of the water, and I
went over his head splendid, and turned two or three somer-
saults on the (fortunately soft) grass, fairly bringing the
house down.

Deary me ! how the crowd did laugh, and large bids were
made to me to have another shy at it ; but no, not for me ! I
offered the mount to any one, just to show the company how
it ought to be done ; but not a soul took advantage of my
generosity ; and so I put my clothes on again, and was soon
right for my speech after the annual big luncheon. The most
creditable part of the entertaining cropper was, that my cigar
was not interfered with, nor the parasol any the worse, and,
beyond a slight dash of green on my small-clothes, there was
no harm done. But my feelings were somewhat hurt after
luncheon, by overhearing one of the crowd remark to his
neighbour : ' If that old fool. Jack Astley, had not ridden his
'oss hisself, he would have won.' That was hot, very — though
not true. I subsequently failed to take a prize at another
match or two, and then left the competition to the light-
weights.

266

CHAPTER XXV.

A Few Words on Coursing — Goodlake of "VVadley and other Coursing
Celebrities — My Early Experiences with the Long-Tails — Jerry Good-
lake urges me to Start a Meeting at Elsham — Coursing Anecdotes — No
Certainty even Avith Two Runners — Coomassie and Waterloo Cup — A
'Dreamer of Dreams' — Spring of 1875 appointed a Steward of Jockey
Club — The Sphynx Fraud — Mr. Justice Lindley — Warren and Long-
land get Six and Nine Months respectively — The New Stand on the
Eovvley Mile — Mr. Holland's Assistance — Also Mr. Jordan, Clerk of
the Works — Hard to Satisfy every one — A Fine Investment — Wage
War against the Touts during my Period of Office — Death of Admiral
Rous in 1877— A Heavy Blow to the Turf generally— The Rous
Memorial Hospital — Land given by the late Sir Richard Wallace — The
Admiral's Mistake with Sutton — Death in the following Year (1878) of
George Payne — A Sound Reference in all Matters requiring Fine Judg-
ment— Amusing to watch the Old Friends over a Game of Billiards —
Regretted by all.

To vary the sports of the field a bit, I will now touch on
coursing. When quite a lad, some 10 or 12 years old, I had
been initiated into the ways and manners of the greyhound :
for my father, who was a very keen courser, from time to time
possessed some very fair dogs ; but I fancy he hardly held his
own amongst the then famous lovers of the leash, such as
Harry Biggs, Wadham Locke, Ralph Etwall, Alec Wyndham
of Dinton, and Goodlake of Wadley. As soon as I was con-
sidered strong enough, I used to be entrusted with a brace of
long-tails in a slip, and I was enjoined to hold on to them like
grim death until my father, having gone two or three hundred
yards, waved his pocket-handkerchief as a signal that I was to
slip the dogs to him, so as to try their speed. A nice time I
had of it ! often being dragged on to my poor little tummy by
the eager hounds ; and if I did happen to let them go with the
slip on, didn't I catch it !

Fine old Salisbury Plain was a rare place for coursing, and
the hares ran very stout on our downs. What gruelling
courses I have seen on Snail Down, not a mile from Everleigh,
and up over Beacon Hill, the Amesbury side of Stonehenge,

OUR BRIGG COURSING MEETINGS. 267

ay, and among those very Druidical remains themselves !
When I shifted from Wilts to Lincolnshire (which, of course,
I had to do when I got wed), I was urged by my coursing
friends (especially dear old Jerry Goodlake) to get up a public
coursing meeting over the Carrs of Elsham and Worlaby —
some 2000 acres of flat land, mostly grass, and divided into
fields by dykes half full of water. With Jerry's able assistance
I started the Brigg Coursing Meeting, and at Corbett's death
I asked five or six pals fond of the sport to stay at Elsham for
the three days' meeting, and, there being plenty of hares (for
I never shot one on that 2000 acres), some first-rate sport was
provided for the large company that pretty well filled the little
town of Brigg. I always took the chair at the dinner and
draw at the Angel Hotel, and we met the crowd at 9 a.m. each
m.orning, and with luck managed to run some forty or fifty
courses a day ; but it was very cold work in December and
January. However, Jerry and I were generally to be seen on
the box-seat of my brake, from which a good view of the sport
could always be obtained. I was in the habit of yoking two
Percheron mares to our conveyance, and with these powerful
animals we could go anywhere, and, if there had been much
rain, in places we had to plough through mud nearly
axle-deep.

I used to stand luncheon to all comers, and gave all the
hares away to the coursers and their trainers, not forgetting
the Press, a very intelligent and ardent detachment. I hardly
ever used to bet on the courses, though there was every facility
for so doing, as the bookies that followed coursing always
showed up in goodly numbers. But it's a tickle job is coursing,
even supposing that it's all on the square, and that isn't, or used
not to be, always ; for when there are only two runners the
temptation to make one safe is necessarily very great. My
readers will most of them recollect that celebrated coursing-
match at Newmarket, where the non-favourite, though the best
dog, seemed by the betting, which was very heavy, to have
little chance of winning ; and no more he had if he could only
have kept the half sheep (that he had been treated to before
being put into the slips) on his stomach. But that day hares
were scarce, and the non-favourite became uneasy and expector-
ated the mutton, and the favourite had just time to eat it up
when puss was found and away they went. But the party that
paid for the mutton had to pay the stakes and bets too, and
serve him right ; though he was a trifle unlucky, we must
allow.

268 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

One day at our Brigg Meeting, a good sort, who wi'ote in the
Field under the name of ' Kobin Hood,' came up to our brake
and told us he knew something real good, and that we must
lay the odds on the favourite for the next course, as it was a
dead ' cert.' ; so Jerry and I both chanced a bit on this extra
good thing. When slipped to a real stout hare the non-
favourite seemed unable to move, and was led lengths. In the
run up the favourite kept driving the hare, but could make
little impression on her single-handed, so got pumped out and
lay down, whilst the other dog warmed up, and, after a tre-
mendously long course, the non-favourite's flag went up and
we lost our money. We were rather hard on ' Robin Hood '
when he approached our trap with a very crestfallen air, and
he thus spake : ' Well, wouldn't you have thought you knew
something to bet on if you had been me ? for, just as it was
getting light this morning, I saw the poor dog being fomented
and then sewn up : for his kennel companion had given him a
proper bite, and no one could believe he would be able to go
out of a walk. But there, he must have been a game dog.
He is dead now, so it's no use finding fault with me,' and, sure
enough, the poor brute had run till he dropped and died.
These two cases will, I fancy, convince the most sceptical that
there is no ' cert.' in coursing.

The only time I ever did any good on the Waterloo Cup was
when Coomassie won in 1877. It was this way : at luncheon
the Sunday before, a friend asked if I believed in dreams 1
' Not as a rule,' I replied. ' Well, but this one is a bit out of
the common,' he answered. ' A mutual friend of mine and
yours, and a veracious M.P., who cares nothing, and knows
less, about coursing, dreamt the other night that a greyhound
called Coomassie won the Waterloo Cup, and before he went
to sleep he didn't know there was such a greyhound in existence.'
After turning this dream over in my mind, I decided, as I was
going down to Altcar on the Monday evening to see the Blue
Biband of the leash run for, to stroll into Tattersall's that
afternoon, and I took 500 to 15 about Coomassie. Later on I
took the evening train for Liverpool, and arrived at the Adelphi
Hotel just as my friend Goodlake was calling over the card,
and, curiously enough, ju.st as I reached the crowded doorway
into the banquet-room I heard him say : ' Will anybody back
Coomassie ? ' but, as no one wanted to, he passed her name.
However, when I got up to the head of the table, beside the
chairman, I asked John Bobinson the price of Coomassie, and
he told me 40 ponies — 40 hundred if I liked ; but I was satis-

COOMASSIE AND THE WATERLOO CUP. 269

fied with 1000 to 25, and was well cliided by Jerry G. for
backing one that had no chance.

Next morning at daylight we drove olf to Altcar, and
Coomassie won her two courses cleverly. Next day she
repeated the performance ; so, hedging on the third day, I
was on lavender, for I stood to win a thousand by Coomassie,
and three hundred by each of the runners up. The dream
came off right, and I was paid my money ; very few of the
cognoscenti or coursing sharps won, and, had it not been for
that dream, I should have had a bad time. Coursing now is
not the popular sport it was, for, though the Brigg Meeting
still continues, the entries are poor in number, and there
seems no chance now of filling two sixty dog stakes as of yore.
Jerry G. at one time owned some good dogs, and didn't do
badly with them ; but he had real bad luck at one of our
Brigg Meetings, for his best dog, in trying to jump the biggest
drain on our Carrs, broke his jaw against the opposite bank,
and had to be destroyed. Farewell to coursing, say I ; it's
too cold and uncertain a sport for an 'aged broker,' though
Colonel North has cut the record by winning the Waterloo
Cup three times, and divided once, with Fullerton.

In the spring of 1875 I was appointed a steward of the
Jockey Club, being nominated by Lord Falmouth, the retiring
steward (the rule being that each steward should serve three
years only), H. Chaplin being senior steward, and Admiral
Bous number two. In those days the stewards had not so
much work to do as they have now, but we three had a very
busy time ; for, on a motion of Chaplin's, it was decided by
the Club that the rules of racing should be drafted afresh,
and re-arranged. Chaplin took an enormous amount of interest
and trouble in this business. In 1876, on his retirement, he
nominated Lord Hardwicke as his successor, and in that year
a gross case of fraud was brought to light. The malefactors
were three men named Longland, Warren, and Garner re-
spectively, who hailed from that centre of the boot-making
trade, Northampton. They were probably red-hot Badicals,
but, if so, that did not make them any the better.

Well, they bought a mare called Sphynx, at Sutton Coldfield
races, for 29 guineas, and entered her as a two-year-old the
next day, re-christening her Glance, by Outfit-Mead, in the
Trial Stakes at Wolverhampton ; but, for fear she should be
recognized as Sphynx, four years old, she was put in a box
that night at the Hen and Chickens Hotel at Birmingham
and carefully altered in appearance. Her tail was cut short,

270 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

a white blaze on her face and the grey heel of her o^ hind
leg were painted with caustic. The next day, as one of the
party was being driven to the course in a brake, he spied a
light-weight named Weston, and engaged him to ride the
mare at 6 st. 10 lbs., giving him instructions to get well away
and go right through with her — very much the same orders,
as you will recollect, old Forth gave to the rider of Little
Wonder before he started for the Derby. These orders were
carried out, and the mare won comfortably, as she was pretty
well bound to do at the weight, having two years in hand.

Now it rained hard during the race, and when the jockey,
Weston, was taking the martingale olf to weigh in, he noticed
some queer-coloured stuff drop off the mare's nose on to his
sleeve, and that, coupled with the little difficulty as to her
pedigree, was the cause of the stakes being withheld, and an
inquiry instituted into the identity of the animal by the
stewards of the Jockey Club. I have my notes of the case
somewhere in extenso, for, as the dear old Admiral was so
very deaf, he deputed me to take the evidence. And a most
curious — not to say amusing — inquiry it was. Had not the
man Garner turned Queen's evidence, there is no certainty
the ruiSfians could have been convicted. Before our tribunal
no evidence on oath could be taken, and though I fancy that
detail would have made but little difference to the late JNLr.
Bradlaugh's constituents, yet they would hardly have lied so
glibly had they kissed the book.

This inquiry lasted some time, and the room being hot, both
my colleagues resigned themselves to slumber, and I must
confess, didn't snore in unison. It was very funny, and I am
afraid I transgressed the ascetic rules of decorum, when the
junior steward suddenly woke up as one of the culprits was
asseverating his innocence with some strong-flavoured ex-
pletives, and expressed himself, in no measured terms, 'that
he was a villain of the deepest dye,' his anger being in no
way diminished, when the scoundrel coolly remarked that ' to
the best of his knowledge he had not come there to be sworn
at.' All three men separately and distinctly declared, that
the mare was not their property, and it suddenly struck me
that she might in that case become mine ; so, after the inquiry
was over, I told the man Garner that he must send the mare
to me at Newmarket, and if he did so he might escape prose-
cution. On the morrow the animal duly arrived, and a very
clever, sharp little mare she was, but remarkably good to
know, for she had a most peculiar straggling blaze down her

AFTER CONSIDERATION RETURN THE MARE. 271

face, a grey fetlock behind, and a deeply-cut chipped knee. I
kept her a week or so at Newmarket, when one morning two
of the men appeared and wanted me to give up the mare. As
they had positively declared to me that neither of them owned
a hair in her tail, and no other party had put in a claim, I
told them I should keep her, as I fancied she would make a
nice hack for one of my girls. So they had to go oif without
her, but subsequently, on my asking a legal opinion, I was
advised to give her up, and I had to do so.

What became of her I never knew for certain ; though it
was rumoured that she found her way to the stables of another
notorious wrongdoer at Oswestry. My notes were laid before
counsel, and, though the Admiral was at first against prose-
cuting the parties on account of the expense, yet, as just
then there was undoubtedly much villainy of this kind being
successfully perpetrated, and as a clearer case could hardly be
produced, he gave in, and the two men were tried before Mr.
Justice Lindley, and, Warren was sentenced to six months',
and Longland to nine months' hard labour. I forgot to
mention that it came out in evidence before me, though not
before the judge (as I understood), that the mare was hurried
oif from Wolverhampton the same day as she won, to Peter-
borough, and a witness told me he helped to wash the caustic
off her at the Great Northern Hotel ; moreover, he believed
that she ran and won a small hurdle-race that very week
somewhere in Suffolk as a four-year-old.

During 1876 I was Chairman of the Committee for arranging
the new rules of racing, and had to give much attention to
this complicated work. The labour of the Committee was
not in vain ; for, as compared with the old rules, the new
code is certainly a great improvement. I was also saddled
with the no small responsibility of building the new stand at
the finish of the Rowley mile. Lord Falmouth during his
stewardship had — under his guidance — caused a plan to be
prepared, and it really was high time some new building
should be erected ; for the old stand was not only too cramped
and uncomfortable, but the structure had for some time been
condemned as unsafe, no one being allowed to use the upper
part of it, and that was the only place from which a decent
view of the races could be obtained. When the tottering old
place was pulled down, it was a marvel how the favoured
members of the Jockey Club had escaped serious accident ; for
the walls were built for the most part of bricks laid length-
ways, with a wide hollow between the inside and outside

272 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

shell, filled in with rubble and chalk, there being hardly
any bond.

I undertook the construction of the present stand, with the
assistance of the late Mr. Holland, as architect, and a young
clerk of the works named Jordan, who had superintended a
great amount of building for me in Wiltshire and Lincoln-
shire. A very energetic and clever young chap he was, and
a firm believer in the strength and endurance of cement
concrete for the particular purpose of a stand in so exposed
a situation. I don't believe any material short of the best
quarried stone or granite — neither of which were obtainable —
would have answered so well, although now some of the old
hands grumble at times, and declare they * wish the new
stand had never been built ' ; yet, as age tells on them, and
they find the expense of a hack, and the discomfort of betting
in bad weather at the old ring opposite the Bushes is saved
them, their growls grow fainter and gradually less ; while all
truthful sportsmen must acknowledge that they can get a
good view of the races from almost any part of the raised
ground or stand. A finer investment was never heard of, for
the money that passed through my hands for the buildings
and paddocks was only some £20,000, and now the income
from the new stands and paddocks, in the gross, is about
£25,000 per annum. This sum forms part of the very large
contribution of added money given by the Jockey Club, and
which at the present time amounts to close on £69,000.

During my three years' stewardship I greatly harassed the
touts ; but they have survived my persecution of them, and
flourished to an extraordinary extent. I really believe that
their numbers, and necessarily divided opinions, as published
and circulated to their private employers, now does an owner
no great harm, and when fishing in Norway, or otherwise
enjoying himself in distant climes, he eagerly reads of the
doings of his thoroughbreds, no matter where trained, and is
afforded a certain amount of satisfaction by the daily reports ;
though he must at times be puzzled by the glaring discrepan-
cies between the horse-watchers' statements, and his intelligent
trainer's account of the well-being and work done by his
cherished Leger candidate, or hoped-for Autumn Handicap
winner.

It was in 1877, during my term of oflice as senior steward,
that the good old Admiral passed away. His death was a
heavy blow to all racing men, but more particularly to those
so continually associated with him as the members of the

DEATH OF GEORGE PAYNE. 273

Jockey Club were. It was resolved to erect a hospital and
almshouses to his memory, to be called the Rous Memorial.
Some five thousand pounds was soon subscribed, and a com-
mittee appointed to carry out the work, of which I was an
active member. The late Sir R. Wallace generously gave an
acre of land, and on this site was erected the most useful set
of buildings Newmarket possesses, and many lives have been
saved by this admirable institution.

Admiral Rous was indeed a wonderful man, and the same
energy and indomitable pluck that enabled him to bring his
ship the Fique safely home, after being disabled by the loss
of her rudder, stood him in good stead in the management of
the highest interests of the Turf ; and though some described
him as a ' Dictator,' yet he was always amenable to calm
reasoning ; he might be led, but could not be driven. The
labour he gratuitously devoted to handicapping was thoroughly
appreciated, and if now and again he made a mistake in the
form of a horse, he was always willing to acknowledge it.
His worst production that I recollect was in the Cambridge-
shire Handicap of 1875, when he put the ridiculous weight
of 5 st. 13 lbs, on the four-year-old back of Sutton, a horse
that had shown some fair form as a three-year-old ; but in
this case the good old Admiral too readily believed the stories
told him of this cripple's broken-down condition, and never
dreamed of his seeing the starting-post, much less catching
the judge's eye.

I tried to bring in a rule, that in no case should a four-
year-old or upwards be handicapped within a stone of the
bottom weight, but could not obtain a sufficient following to
carry it, though I still believe it would be much fairer on the
three-year-olds and good old horses, and would be well liked
by the handicappers.

The following year, 1878, another good man and true joined
the majority, for we buried George Payne in the next grave
to the Admiral. No cheerier or more respected sportsman
ever lived, and, though he was only a moderate hand at
managing his own affairs (for he got through two or three
fortunes), yet his opinion and advice were both highly valued
and sought for, whenever a breach of the code of honour, or
personal quarrels, required a master mind to settle a knotty
point. Poor G. P. ! how I have enjoyed seeing him and the
Admiral playing billiards, the running commentaries they
indulged in on each other's play and peculiarities of conform-
ation were too amusing, and I have laughed till my sides

T

274 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

ached at those two old cronies trying to put each other off
their play by various devices. 3^1ieii the old Admii-al was
getting the worst of the game, he invariably not only took off
his coat and waistcoat, but uncoiled the long and stiff cravat
which encircled his throat some three or four times, and, if
matters didn't improve, his shirt-collar and one brace were
wrenched off, and vigorously tlirown on one side.

Yes ! the ' only Admiral ' and G. P. were indeed a great
loss to the Jockey Club and the Turf generally, and, person-
ally, I don't ever expect to see their likes again.

11%

CHAPTEE XXVI.

Bipeds on Land and Water — Captain Webb — His Channel Swim — Wonder-
ful Feats of Endurance — His Death by Drowning in K'iagara Rapids —
Bipeds on Land — E. P. Weston — His Match with Dan O'Leary —
Weston Miscalculates his Hours — Short of Pluck — O'Leary Wins — I
take the Royal Agiicultural Hall, Islington, for a Six Days' 'Go as
You Please' Competition — Won by O'Leary with just over 520 Miles
— Vaughan of Chester — Publish a Balance-sheet, for various Reasons
— Corkey and his Wife — Eel-broth and Attention — A New Bonnet —
Balance-sheet of Second Competition : Not quite so good a Result —
Take a Fancy to Rowell's Style — Find the Money to send him to
Compete at New York — I give him a Trial Spin at Elsham — Am
Satisfied — Rowell brings back Championship Belt and close on £5000
- — Crosses Atlantic a Second Time with equal Success — Blower Brown
— His Quaint old Backer, John Smith — Hot Batli and Chops win the
Day — Divided Opinions amongst Good Men on Long-Distance Com-
petitions— My Club Friend — My Opinion carried out — So was he
within Six Months.

Now I think we must spin a yarn as to the progression of
bipeds, both in water and on land. I am a very poor swimmer
myself, and never was a very ardent admirer of bathing,
either in fresh water — where one shares one's ablutions with
rats, tadpoles, and every sort of live reptiles, as well as occa-
sionally bumping against a putrefying dog or a strangled cat
— or in the restless billows of the briny ocean, where with
moderate luck a bather from the shore or the luxurious
machine may, in one or more consecutive gulps, run the
gauntlet of dead fish of sorts and ages, decayed sea-weed, or
the diseased jelly-fish. No ! give me my tub, with pellucid
water of the required temperature, and the comforts of my
dressing-room around me — but I am getting a bit off the line.
Well, though I was not proficient at swimming, I always
envied those that were, and in 1875 I made the acquaintance
of Captain Webb, one of the gamest men I ever came across,
and a veritable wonder in water. He had just succeeded in
swimming from Dover to Calais, 35 miles, in 21 hrs. 45 mins.,
and he helped me to get up a sweepstakes for swimmers in

276 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

the Thames. I collected some £50 from the Members of the
House of Commons, which was laid out in medals, &c., as
prizes for competitions, the course being from Westminster to
Putney Bridge, and vice vei^sd. I think I managed three of
these shows, and then they died out. I was a constant
attendant at the Lambeth Baths in 1879, when in a sweep-
stakes for six days (fourteen hours a day) Webb won,
swimming 74 miles in 84 hours. Again, in March 1880,
Webb swam for 60 hours at the Westminster Aquarium in
salt water, and remained in the water, without a break, for
38 hrs. 52 mins. 10 sees. ; he rested 21 mins. 30 sees., then
dived in again, and remained in the water until the call of
time at the end of sixty hours. According to agreement he
was entitled to 1 J hours (in the aggregate) for rest, of which
he only used twenty-one minutes and a half. He did this for
a bet of £100 to £20, which was laid by me.

Poor Webb ! he was very popular, and I recollect on one
occasion, when he was acting as judge at the Weston v.
O'Leary match at the Agricultural Hall, what an ovation the
crowd gave him when he spoke a few words at the end of the
match. It is sad to think that within eight years of his
grand performance across the Channel, when it verily seemed
as if water could not drown him, he should lose his life in
attempting the foolhardy feat of swimming the Whirlpool
Papids at Niagara Falls.

Now we will turn to the progression of bipeds on land. As
I was useful myself, walking and trotting, I was always ready
to encourage pedestrianism in all its forms, and during my
Parliamentary career I became acquainted with E. P. W^eston,
a Yankee of extraordinary staying powers, and whose per-
formances in his own country seemed to me marvellous. After
witnessing some of his ' wobbling ' ^ feats over here, 1 offered
to match him against any man breathing, to walk six days
and nights for £500 a side. Dan O'Leary, of Chicago, took
up the challenge, the Agriculturall Hall at Islington was
hired for the occasion, and the match came off there early in
April 1877. Now, Weston had made out to his own satisfac-
tion that whoever did 506 miles in the 142 hours would be
sure to win ; so he wrote out an elaborate table of the number
of miles he was to cover each twenty-four hours, and tlie
amount of rest he could take in that time, and when O'Leary
led him on the second day, Weston, instead of keeping near

^ Weston's gait when walking was very pecuHar, hardly fair heel-and-
toe perhaps.

WESTON AND DAN O'LEARY. 277

him, as he could have done, rested according to his table,
feeling quite certain — as he told me — that his opponent would
overdo himself and come back to him. But Dan O'Leary was
the gamest of the game, and, though fearfully used up on the
morning of the sixth day, he was some ten miles ahead of
Weston, who had only to come on the track and put in a useful
five or six miles, which he was quite capable of doing, and the
match would have been his : but when I tried to get him out of
bed he went soft, and on my telling him I should chack some
cold water over him, he bui-st out crying, and that settled the
matter ; for you can do nothing at any game with a party
who pipes his eye. The end of it was that the game O'Leary
struggled on and covered 520 miles, beating Weston by ten miles.

I helped Dan ofl: the track, to his four-wheel cab at the
private exit, and he was that stiff he could not raise his foot
to get into the cab ; in fact, I lifted one foot and then the
other the few inches required to land him in the conveyance.
And when I got back into the Hall, there was my man
running round the track, pushing the roller in front of him,
and keeping time to the music of the band. Next day
(Sunday) he was as fresh as a kitten, and came down to
Lowndes Square just as I was going to morning church, and
insisted on going with me, and, I can assure you, played a
pretty knife and fork afterwards ; whilst poor Daniel, the
winner, was all wrong for some days after. Out of the 142
hours, O'Leary had only been off the track 26 hours, and
Weston 28 hours. For that matter, I don't believe I had
more than two or three hours' sleep myself in each twenty-
four, for I never was more excited over any performance ; and
the number of cigars I got through was a record — not silly
little female cigarettes either.

Well, I was so taken with the long-distance business that I
decided to take the Hall and give some good prizes, open to
all comers ; but as the wobbling gait of Weston was open to
objection as not being fair heel-and-toe walking, I proposed
that the competitors should 'go as theT/ pleased.' Accordingly,
in good time, I advertised that I would give a champion belt,
value £100, and £500 to the winner, £100 to the second, £50
to the third, and other prizes to those who succeeded in cover-
ing 450 miles, and on March 18th, 1878, about twenty started,
amongst them O'Leary, and he just beat his previous perform-
ance of 520 miles, winning again by sheer gameness. At one
time he was so dazed he could not see the edge of the track,
until some fresh white sawdust was brought and laid round

278 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

the near edge. On another occasion, I fancy he got hold of,
or was given, a drop of good old port, which a fond parent of
one of the competitors had brought up to stimulate his lad's
exertions, and a strong pull at this red wine on an empty
stomach made poor Dan's progress decidedly devious ; but all
in, he won — beating Yaughan of Chester twenty miles, and
Blower Brown by forty-three, both good men. Vaughan was,
perhaps, the finest walker I ever saw, but could not run a
little bit. He was by trade a carpenter, at Chester, and a
real clean-made and thoroughly respectable man. Blower
Brown we shall hear of later. O'Leary took the belt to
America, and declared he would not part with it till some
better man came and fetched it.

As some of the sporting scribes imputed all sorts of sordid
motives to me, I had all the receipts and expenses verified,
and published the following balance-sheet in the Sj^rtitig
Life, which effectually silenced the carping critics for the
time ; for it dawned on them that a sporting ' Bart. ' was a
bit more liberal to the men of thew^s and sinews than the
sporting ' Bung ' usually was —

BALANCE-SHEET.

RECKIPTS.

£

s.

d.

By * Gate

Monday

2tJ7

2

6

Tuesday

276

11

0

Wednesday

400

14

0

Thursday

470

14

6

Friday

641

13

6

Saturday

832

1

6

Entries

.

.

.

2888 17 0
170 0 0

Total . . 3058 17 0

EXPEXDITUEE.

£

Prizes to Winners and Attendants at Conclusion of Walk . 989

Belt and Medals 130

Extra Money-Prizes 498

Hire of Hall, Gas, Stands, Contractor's Work, &c. . . 455
Gate- Keepers, Commissionaires, Police . . . .120

Judges and Scorers . 192

Band 78

Printing, Advertising, &c. . . . . . .137

Lavatories, Messengers, Miscellaneous Sundries.

Balance at Banker's for Future Prizes

Total .

s.

d.

10

0

0

0

10

0

3

4

9

0

0

0

0

0

56

3

6

2656
401

19

17

4
8

3058

17

0

MY 'GO-AS-YOU-PLEASE SHOW.

279

I was glad to read in the Chicago Tribune of May 19th, 1878,
that O'Leary, on being asked by a reporter, ' Was there any
trouble over the stake ? ' replied, ' No, that was given up
freely ; let me say that Mr. Astley is a gentleman, and a
lover of fair play.'

In October 1878, I got up another 'go-as-you-please show,'
on much the same lines as before, and for about the same
prizes. I will here put in one more balance-sheet, which shows
the receipts were not quite so good, and the expenses were
heavier ; but the lighting of the hall and the accommodation
for the competitors was superior.

BALANCE-SHEET.

RECEIPTS.

By 'Gate' Monday
,, Tuesday
,, Wednesday
,, Thursday
,, Friday
,, Saturday

£ s.

317 5

275 14

343 4

406 19

674 10

829 5

2846 18 11

Less Banker's Commission .

2 12 6

By Entries

,, Burt for ' Eight of Sale ' of Programmes

,, Baker for Standing of Lung-Testing Machine

Total .

2844 6 5

211 0 0

31 0 0

2 0 0

3088 6 5

EXPENDITURE.

£ s. d.

Prizes to Winners and Attendants at Conclusion of Walk . 867 0 0

Extra Money-Prizes 406 0 0

Belt and Medals 130 0 0

Hire of Hall 400 0 0

Gas and Electric Light 125 16 0

Contractor's Work for Track, Stands, &c 109 2 0

Accommodation for Men . . . . . . . 40152

Gate-Keepers, Commissionaires, Police . . . . 133 3 0

Judges, Scorers, Timekeepers 274 0 0

Band 60 0 0

Printing, Advertising, &c. 91 0 0

Staff, Messengers, &c Ill 18 2

Balance towards Fund

2748 14 4
339 12 1

Total

This time W. Gentleman (Corkey) won with 521 miles;
B. Brown was second, 506 miles; and Eowell third, 470.

28o FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

The winner, Corkey, was a very quaint-looking little old
chap, of forty-six : he had won a lot of running matches
in his time, and had very peculiar high action. He didn't
look a bit like staying, was as thin as a rail, and stuttered
very funnily ; but in Mrs. Corkey he possessed a real treasure.
She never left him day or night, and was always ready to
hand her sweetheart a basin of delicious and greasy eel-broth,
that he loved so well, and which evidently agreed so famously
with him. Towards the last, when it was evident Corkey
could not be caught, I ordered a lovely suit for him to finish
in, and bought Mrs. Corkey an out-and-out bonnet, slightly
on the gaudy side ; but I can tell you he and she were a
striking couple when they did the last few laps arm in arm
together, to the tune of the ' Conquering Hero.'

The third man in the late competition, C. Rowell, took my
fancy much, as he was a very clean-made, muscular young
fellow, and had formerly been our boat boy at the Guards'
Club at Maidenhead. He had since that time run long
distances well, and was real fond of the business, though he
had not made any great score. However, I fancied he could,
if properly looked after ; so I posted £100 for Rowell and
entered him for a six days and nights competition at Madison
Square Gardens at New York ; and I bid Rowell get himself
fit, and I would pay expenses of himself and two friends (to
look after him) in the land of Stars and Stripes. In due time
he reported himself in proper fettle for the contest ; so I wrote
to him to come down to Elsham, and I would see him run four
or five hours. He duly arrived, and the next morning, having
measured off the requisite number of laps to the mile on
the gravel walks in our kitchen garden, I set him going, and
told him to run at the rate of eight miles an hour till I bid
him stop.

He ran the fii'st sixteen miles with such ease in two hours
that I went away, telling one of the gardeners to score up the
laps with a bit of chalk on the garden-wall. In about an hour
I returned, and he seemed going easier than when he started ;
so I let him continue another hour, and when he had covered
thirty-two miles — just under the four hours — he had not
turned a hair. I stopped him and advised him to have a good
rub down between the blankets ; but he ran off to the stables,
and stripping, got two of the helpers to chuck three or four
buckets of the coldest spring water over him ; he was then
rubbed dry in the warm stables, put his things on, and asked
me to let him go and shoot some rabbits, and away he went. I

ROWELL'S SUCCESSES IN AMERICA. 281

was satisfied that lie was good enough to send over to try and
bring back the champion belt to England, and I duly sent him
and his two mates over to New York, lending him £250 to
cover all expenses.

The match came off, March 10, 1879, and sure enough he
won with a total of 500 miles ; Ennis, 476, second ; and
Harriman, 450, third. Howell brought back the belt, and
with his prize and share of the gate-money he pocketed nearly
£5000 — a pretty good haul for a man who had seldom had two
sovereigns to rub against each other. He paid me back my
£250, and subsequently went over on his own hook, and was
again successful in September 1879, doing 530 miles — Merritt,
515, second ; and Hazael, 500, third — landing quite ten
thousand pounds over the two trips. It was touch-and-go with
him the last day, for he had some poisonous stuff put into his food
or drink, and only just got over it in time to keep the rapidly
diminishing lead he had gained on the third day, Kowell was
a native of Chesterton, near Cambridge, and thought nothing
of running up to London (some sixty miles) under the eight
hours, and back again the next day.

It was wonderful what interest the public took in these
long-distance performances ; though in England the entrance
was only a shilling, in New York, I believe, it was a dollar.
Scores and hundreds of people came in just to have a peep,
and were so fascinated that they stayed for hours, returning day
after day. Amongst these were many refined men of letters,
one of whom, a brilliant poet, confided to me one morning, in
the small hours at the Agricultural Hall, that he had never
been so interested in any show in his life. The money taken
at the doors nearly always exceeded the prizes and expenses ;
so, after giving away more than I advertised, I put by the
surplus for a prize fund for walking and running different
distances, and distributed many watches and belts amongst the
successful competitors.

My readers will be weary of any more of the ' go-as-you-
please ' competitions, so I will only add that in April 1879,
Blower Brown won with 542 miles ; Hazael second, 492 ;
Corkey third, 473 ; Weston, 450, fourth. In June 1879,
Weston won with 550 miles, Brown being second with 453.
February 1880, Brown won with 553; Hazael second, 480;
and Day third, 456. At New York, February 1882, Hazael
won with 600 miles ; Fitzgerald second, 577 ; Noremac third,
555 ; and it is reported that in December 1888, G. Littlewood
did 623|- miles, but I have never felt quite satisfied as to the

282 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

correctness of the scoring, though I know he was a very smart
young chap, and perhaps the prettiest runner of the lot. And
now farewell to the progression of bipeds diu-ing the six days
and nights' * go-as-you-please ' shows at merry Islington and
New York ; but I must say a word about that peculiar brick-
maker, Blower Brown, and his backer, one of the quaintest of
old peds, John Smith, whose soubriquet when in his prime was
the ' Regent Street Pet.'

Brown had early distinguished himself by the rapid manner
he trundled his barrow of bricks to the kiln, and back again
for another load, and, like all brick-makers (I have ever heard
of), he was wonderfully fond of beer : therefore, when old
Jack Smith wished to get an extra spurt out of his p-otege, he
used to yell at him on the track, and the same exhortation and
promise was enumerated whenever his instinct told him en-
couragement was needed : ' Well done, Blower ! go it. Blower !
you have got 'em all beat, my beauty ! Yes ! Blower shall have
a barrel of beer all to himself if he wins ; go it. Blower ! ' One
day Blower showed signs of shutting up, and as he was more
an animal than an angel. Smith and I agreed that it would be
a good thing to wake him up a bit by putting him in a hot
bath — quite a new sensation for him — so we took him to my
lodgings hard by, and I ordered two chops to be got ready for
him, and then put him into a hip bath of real hot water, which
livened him up considerably, fairly making him sing out.
When we had got him nicely dried, the chops appeared, and
whilst I was helping Blower into his running-suit I was
horrified to observe old Smith busily employed gobbling up all
the best parts of the chops, leaving only the bone, gristle, and
fat, and when I expostulated with him on his greediness and
cruelty to his man, he replied : ' Bless yer, Colonel ! Blower
has never had the chance of eating the inside, he likes the out-
side,' and, sure enough, the brick-maker cleaned up the dish,
with the result that he won first prize, doing 542 miles, a grand
performance, and, what is more, his appetite and thirst were in
no way impaired.

One word re the utility or otherwise of these feats of
endurance. My opinion is, first, that any means by which an
honest penny is to be acquired by those who need it ought to be
encouraged ; secondly, that it is good for man to know how
short a time for sleep or rest in the twenty-four hours is really
essential to sustain the physical powers of his body ; thirdly,
that it is quite as good for man to know what distance the
human species are capable of covering between two Sundays, as

OFFER TO BACK MY OPINION. 283

it is for him to blindly believe that the sun is two million
miles, one lap, four yards, three feet, and two inches from the
earth. To sum up : the experiences of a 142 hours' trudge
inculcates the necessity of a man refraining from over-
indulgence in the pleasures of the world, the flesh, or the
devil.

Good men and true differ in their opinions on long-distance
contests, some insisting that their tendency is demoralizing,
others that they tend to a mens sana in corpore sano. During
the evenings and nights, heaps of my friends used to come up
to the Hall ; amongst the most constant were the Duke of
Hamilton, the late General Goodlake, and a host of others.
My brothers, Hugh and Spencer, were also very much interested
in the undertaking. It is curious how these competitions have
died out, but perhaps it is that there are very few gentlemen
who would care to incur the risk and trouble such shows
necessitate. All I can say is, I never knew of any man injur-
ing his physique or constitution by a six days' tramp, and I
have always thought that I was badly treated by one good old
gentleman at my club, who pathetically besought me one day
to abandon a competition that I was just starting ; saying :
' My dear Sir John, I feel sm^e you will be some day tried for
manslaughter, when one of your competitors dies on the track.'
I replied, ' Worthy sir, I will bet you " fifty," and leave it to
our heirs and assigns to determine, that you die from want of
exercise before any one of the competitors dies from taking too
much ; ' but, will you believe it ] he would not book the bet,
and quietly slipped into his grave (being short of exercise)
some six months afterwards.

284

CHAPTER XXYII.

Many Irons in the Fire between 1870 and 1880 — Purchase Orleans House
and Grounds adjoining — Form a Club — Six Hundred Members to Start
with — Weather a Serious Consideration with a Club of this kind —
Lose Money in the Concern — Entertain Australians after Cricket — •
Obliged to Sell the Place in 1882— The Filter Gentleman— My Cabs
and Horses — Bad Luck at last — Horse Bolts and Meets with a Soda-
Water Van — Driver Lijured — Hospital — Uncle Appears — A Cunning
Old File — Dufend tlie Case in Person — Waddy, Q.C. — Notwithstanding
my Eloquence am cast for £125 Compensation — Take to Chance
Locomotion at Ordinary Eates per Time or Distance — The Story of
Nougat.

Perhaps some of my readers may think that I had a fair lot
of irons in the fire between 1870 and 1880, but I had plenty
of * go ' in me then, and so ought every man till he is well
over fifty. In addition to racing, coursing, shooting, athletic
competitions, managing two estates (one under the strict rules
of the Court of Chancery), Jockey Club steward's work, a
breeding stud, a string of racehorses, a home farm, magistrate's
work. Parliamentary work, looking after a wife and seven
children, a house in town and one at ]S^e^vmarket, and a couple
of hansom cabs, in March 1877, I went in for a 'spec.,' and
bought Orleans House and Mount Lebanon, with the grounds,
comprising forty-two acres, of the Duke D'Aumale for
£45,000 as it stood, paying a douceur of four thousand to
some parties who had the right of pre-emption. I subsequently
sold Mount Lebanon and eleven acres to Mr. W. Cunard for
£11,000. Then I set to work to furnish Orleans House
throughout as a luxurious social club, and employed a City
firm for that purpose. Li addition, I went down to a sale at
Kearsney Abbey, near Dover, where I laid out judiciously
about a thousand pounds in brand-new furniture, some of
which had not even been unpacked, as its purchaser had died
suddenly. One item, perhaps an extravagant one, was a
beautiful billiard-table and fittings, for which I gave three

- THE ORLEANS CLUB, TWICKENHAM. 285

hundred. The richly-carved legs ran up the price ; now, being
more careful, I am not sure that plain legs would not have
done as well.

I soon whipped up some six hundred members at five
guineas subscription and ten guineas entrance ; but, alas ! I
was not long in discovering that the success of a club in the
country as a speculation depends entirely on the weather.
Could I have insured a sunny dry summer like that of 1893, a
profit might be made, but in wet or even uncertain weather but
few people care to come down either by rail or road. In 1878
I raised the subscription to ten guineas, which most of my
members cheerfully paid ; but I still lost money. However,
like a soldier, I struggled on gamely till the end of the season
1882, when I was glad to sell the property to Mr. Cunard for
£33,000, losing, therefore, some five thousand on the deal, let
alone ' exes ' out of pocket, which were considerable. Had I only
put half the money into Kempton Park, which started about
the same time as my club, I should have made a real good hit ;
but my trustees would not hear of that as an investment for
trust-money.

Orleans was a charming place, and I flatter myself I had
greatly improved the grounds when I sold it. I had made a
very fair cricket-ground on a small scale, and in July 1878, I
got the Australians to come there and play a two days' match
against the Orleans Eleven, as got together by C. Thornton
('Bun,' I mean). The fete was a great success, and I believe
the Colonials were much pleased at the reception the club gave
them. I took the chair at the dinner after the first day's
play, and both elevens had a high old time, fraternizing extra-
ordinary over the flowing bowl. The large picture-gallery
with its oak parquet floor made a first-class ball-room, and I
gave a fancy dress ball there one evening, when Eoyalty
honoured the club with its presence. It being a lovely still
night, the pretty lawn and extensive shrubberies looked quite
charming when they were lit up by the lime-light and
thousands of lamps. The river was also a great attraction,
as I had a steam-launch and plenty of boats always in
readiness.

It was at this club that T first discovered what an extra-
ordinary profit could be made on aerated waters, which were
to be bought wholesale at three-halfpence or twopence a bottle,
and sold retail at sixpence. Under these circumstances my
readers will thoroughly appreciate what a nasty jar I received
one morning, when, as I was standing on the steps at the front

286 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

door, a stranger walked up the drive with a large brown-paper
parcel under his arm. I asked him what he wanted. He
said he had come to see Sir John. I replied that what was
left of Sir John was before him, and what was he carrying
under his arm 1 To my horror and indignation he produced a
huge filter of the most approved principle, and was about to
dilate on its merits when I shut him up sharp, pointing out to
him that every one in the establishment had strict orders to
warn thirsty souls against drinking the local water, and that,
therefore, by no manner of means could I encourage the
purifying qualities of his invention, which simply meant rapid
ruin to the proprietor of the club. I, furthermore, curtly told
him to retrace his steps as quickly as he could, and never
come near Orleans again ; but to show that there was no bad
feeling, 1 told him he could name his liquor up to sixpenny-
worth, and the poor inventor retired terribly crestfallen.

I had reserved for myself a very pleasant room looking over
the lawn and river, and often, after the long and tedious
sittings in the House of Commons, I used to drive down in my
buggy behind an old Russian trotter, in the small hours, to
Orleans, and was not unfrequently lulled to sleep by the
rippling song of the nightingales, who never deserted the
shrubberies. No greater contrast can well be imagined than
the peaceful slumber induced by these delicious surroundings,
to the wretched and neck-breaking eif orts to snatch repose in
some nook of the lobbies of Westminster, where your nap was
abruptly ended by the tinkling of the division bell, or the
strident screech of some Irish owl. Lots of my old members
still recall with pleasure the jolly time they spent at Orleans,
and heartily regret its collapse — so do I.

I mentioned that I owned two cabs, and I never knew what
pleasant locomotion in London was, till I bought of Captain
Wombwell his private hansom cab and a smart quick-stepping
black horse, also engaging his coachman, W. Rump, to drive
me. However, I soon found that, as I was so much out of
London, I must have another hansom with a number on it, to
earn something while I was away. So I bought another cab,
and had Asteroidal, a five-year-old racehorse that I had
originally bought for three hundred to lead Scamp in his work,
broken to harness. He had sprung the sinews of both fore-
legs, and I had had him fired, and though I believe he could
not have carried a six stone boy, yet with the weight off his
back, no better cab-horse ever went on the stones ; he could
take me down to Orleans Club and back in real good time, and

A DAY OF ILL-LUCK. 287

with very little trouble to himself. My third cab-horse was
a pretty little thoroughbred chestnut mare I spotted one day
running in a hansom on my way to the station. I told Rump
to find out all about her, and next day I bought her for forty
guineas. With these three nags I could work both cabs well,
and my riding cost me comparatively little. I gave Rump
twenty-five shillings a week standing wages, and he paid me
ten shillings a day when he plied for hire and I didn't use the
cab ; so he made a bit, and I rode comfortably and speedily at
a small cost.

At last there came a day of ill-luck, for having brought up
an old hunter from home called Hook and Eye, which I had
bought some years before from the old Lord "Vivian, I handed
him over to the cab-work, and one morning when his driver
had to get off the box to call for his money at the Bachelors'
Club, the old horse became frightened at some building oper-
ations going on over his head, got loose from the commission-
aire, who was minding him, and galloped up Park Lane, and,
as bad luck would have it ! the cab- wheel collided w^ith a
soda-water van, the jerk pitched the driver off his perch on to
the pavement, and he was conveyed insensible to St. George's
Hospital, where I went to see that he had every comfort. He
soon got over the concussion of the brain and returned to his
lodgings, and both could, and would, have resumed his van-
driving ; but he had an old uncle — quite the lawyer — who
persuaded him to get a tidy bit out of the Bart, before he
went to work.

One fine morning the uncle came to me in Lowndes Square,
and, after a long jaw, I told him I would give his nephew fifty
pounds compensation and no more (plenty too) ; but the old
one said he would have five hundred, or go to law for it. So
into court we went, and I defended my own case. Mr. Waddy,
Q.C. (now M.P. for our Brigg Division of Lincolnshire, worse
luck ! ) prosecuted. I believe the fifty pounds I paid into
court would have sufiiced ; but, unfortunately, the case before
ours was, curiously enough, also one of accident. The tap of
the Waterworks Company's main was some inches higher than
the rest of the roadway, and an elderly party had been pitched
out of his carriage by the fall of his horse, which had stumbled
over the obstacle, the jury awarding £125 damages against
the Water Company. Well, this was the last act of that jury,
and the new jury were waiting in court to be sworn in, and
when our case came on, these twelve talented men were con-
vinced that culpable negligence on the part of my cabman was

288 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

the cause of the van-driver's accident, and they paid no atten-
tion to the fact that my cab-horse was in charge of a commis-
sionaire; at any rate, as in the last case they had heard that
<£125 was awarded to the injured party, they followed suit,
and I was cast for £125 too; so that made my riding come
rather expensive that year.

There was a good bit of fun in court during the case, and
old Twaddy was quite on the spot when he appealed to the
judge to curb my peculiar style of examining and cross-
examining the witnesses ; for, said he, ' I am sure your Lord-
ship will have observed that the worthy Baronet has exceeded
the rules of this court, and I venture to think he is trying to
introduce the "go-as-you-please" principle, as he so success-
fully did in the Agricultural Hall ' — a smart sally which
livened up everybody, from the judge to the plaintiff. I had
to pay and look pleasant, and not long after, as times got
worse and worse with me, I had to sell the whole bag of tricks,
cabs, horses, and harness : but got the nags and cabby good
places. After this I had to chance my locomotion, paying the
usual rates per mile or hour.

I will conclude this somewhat short chapter with the story
of an animal called Nougat, which I bought in 1874; and I
ought to have related it among the events of that year, but,
no doubt, it will do very well in its present position, and is, I
think, worth telling.

THE STORY OF NOUGAT.

It was during Windsor Summer races, 1874, I was looking
on at a selling-race, and my attention was attracted to the
peculiar manner one of the jockeys was riding his horse ; it
was a two-year-old, bred in France, called Nougat. H. Chaplin
was also struck with the same idea, and straightway I got a
friend to claim Nougat for me; at the same time, H. C. bought
the winner, Carlos, 3 yrs., at auction after the race, and both
were entered in a selling-race closing that night, so that we
might have a public trial and make sure as to our suspicions.
I had no horse at the meeting, nor was my trainer there ; but,
seeing old Drewitt on the course, I asked him to take charge
of Nougat for me, telling him to be careful no one could
tamper with the horse during the night, as there would sure
to be an inquiry into the running of the horse on the
morrow. Good old Drewitt was quite proud of the confidence
reposed in him, and, getting a lad to lead the two-year-old,
he strutted away behind him, looking very consequential,

THE STORY OF NOUGAT. 289

while liis good-natured phiz wore an expression of dire
determination.

He told me that he had one of his own padlocks with him
that no living man could open, and away I went up to London ;
but came down in good time the next morning, and drove to
the Swan Inn at Clewer, where I found Drewitt brimful of
importance. He told me that there had been much talk about
the race of yesterday. We went to the stables in the rear of
the inn, and Drewitt, producing a key from his pocket, pro-
ceeded to unlock a massive brass padlock. There, sure enough,
in the box was Nougat. Drewitt proudly declared that he
had seen the horse done up, had fed and watered him himself,
and had taken every precaution possible that no stranger
could get to the horse. Whilst he was talking, I observed
that the partition between this box and the next was only
carried up to the height of the wall, and, there being no
ceiling, any one could climb over from one box into the other.
I pointed this out to the sapient one, but he was still positive
that all was right, admitting, however, that a horse from the
same Epsom stable stood in the next box. Nougat looked a
bit dull, and Drewitt said he would walk up to the paddock
with him before the first race. So he did. When I got to
the paddock I was struck with the peculiar way Nougat
carried his head (as if it was too heavy for him), almost
between his knees, and as I was told that when all right he
was a corky, light-hearted horse, I made up my mind some
interested party had given the poor beast some strong sedative,
and did not back him for a bob.

Well, neither Carlos nor Nougat were in the first three in
the race ; but, dead amiss as he undoubtedly was, Nougat
finished in front of Carlos (both being ridden out) some dis-
tance. These facts were laid before the stewards of the Jockey
Club, and after inquiry the jockey was suspended for two
years. Nougat was very queer for some time, and it was not
till the Houghton Meeting I could run him, when, finding he
could stay, I had a bit on him for the Feather Plate, at 8 to 1,
and he won anyhow, by twelve lengths. But I lost him, for
Jennings had orders to buy him for Count Legrange, as he
could run in France ; so I let him go at 700 guineas.
He won several good races in France, and has been a fairly
successful sire. I never heard of his conqueror, Carlos, any
more.

I again won the Feather Plate in 1878, with a two-year-old,
Chocolate by Mogador, and had a good race on her, as she

U

290 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

pleased me much in a long gallop with some old horses. She
won again at Shrewsbury, and R, Peck bought her for 530
guineas ; but she never w^on another race. No better race to
gamble on than the Feather Plate if you can light on a two-
year-old that can stay, and is not too headstrong for a little lad
to ride the long two miles.

291

CHAPTER XXYIII.

Racing in 1875— Scamp, 4 Years — The Whip at Newmarket — Duke of
Parma, 3 Years — The Trial — Ask Sir Charles Russell — Buy Hopbloom,
2 Years— Chirk Castle— Dicky Biddulph and his Wife — Scamp Im-
proves— IMachell and Match-making — Pop v. Claret — Pop walks in
— Thanks to Archer, Brigg Boy gets Home First— Caledon Alexander
beats me with Nina, 2 Years — Curious In-and-out Running at Don-
caster — Hopbloom wins Hunt Cup at Ascot — A Nice Price — Runs
Second to Rosebery for Cambridgeshire — Send Scamp and Bridget
to Epsom — Fogo Rowlands and Pitt Place — Marcus Beresford — The
Sadleirs — Reggy Herbert — Jack Jones, Trainer and Jockey — A Split in.
the Stable — Fogo nearly Bungles with Scamp — Peter Crawshaw — The
Big Hurdle-race — Scamp wins easy — Never took to Jumping — Send
him to the Stud — Jimmy Adams — His Retort to me — I get the Worst
of it.

We must now return to the race-course and my luck thereon.
I left off about 1874, after Scamp had won the Goodwood
Stakes, &c. In 1875 Scamp, 4 yrs., walked over for the Whip
at Newmarket, a curious old trophy, which I held unchallenged
for two or three seasons. Por the Cesarewitch of this year I
backed Scamp for a lot of money, but I was a fool to do it, as
it turned out, for wehadthe winner in Blanton's stable, though
I must confess I never dreamed of the Duke of Parma, 3 yrs.,
being dangerous ; no more I believe did Blanton, or his owner,
good old Soltykoff, until one day the young one astonished us
all by the way he pulled over the older horses in a rough gallop.
In consequence, it was arranged that he should have a rough-
up on the Saturday before the Cesarewitch with poor A. C.
Barclay's five-year-old horse Bertram, two miles.

It was a foul morning, for it rained and blew tremendous ;
however, I mounted my cob, and the two horses were started,
with another to make the running at Choke Jade, and they
came right round by the tan-side at a rare good pace ; but, in
spite of the blinding storm, I could see, some distance olf , that
the young one with the four white legs had a lot the best of it,
and the Duke romped home the easiest of winners. Therefore

292 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

at 5 St. 7 lbs., he looked like ' a moral ^ for the big race, if only
a small boy could ride him. (I wonder if Sir Charles Eussell
thought so too? You might ask him.) The commission
already arranged for was executed that afternoon, and I had
c£1200 to 100 in it ; so I saved my outlay on Scamp, who ran
moderately. I was only a bare winner, notwithstanding, and
all the stable were reckoned real flats for not discovering the
' nugget ' till so near the day.

Lady of the Lake, 4 yrs., by Broomielaw out of Lady Hunger-
ford, won me three races this year, and took to jumping very
kindly in the autumn, winning me a hurdle-race at Lincoln
Spring, and would have won the following day but, in landing
over the last hurdle but one, she spilt one of her fore pasterns
all to pieces. At Shrewsbury Autumn of 1875 I had the good
luck to buy Hopbloom, 2 yrs., by Parmesan out of Cognisaunce,
after he had won a small selling-race, for 340 guineas. His
trainer, Stevens, was sorry to part with him, and pointed out
to me that he had cut himself inside the hock on the seat of
spavin ; but I told him that was the result of the deep ground
and the horse not being up to the mark, and that we would try
and make an alteration by the following spring ; so he didn't
get Hopbloom back !

I was staying at Chirk Castle that meeting with my good
friend K. Biddulph, who then had a horse or two in training,
and went well to hounds. What a lovely place is Chirk ! — the
undulation of the ground, the splendid timber, the massive and
grand old castle enclosing its spacious quadrangle yard, is a
combination you rarely meet with, in a picturesque sense ;
while the comfortable interior of the structure, the Al cuisine,
and the incomparable ' pop,' together with the fair form of the
hostess, and hearty welcome with which she and her ' hubby '
always greet their friends, produce a tout eiisemhle not to be beat.
Please to mind that I ain't guessing, for I and my better-half
have paid many visits to good old Chirk, and all the harm I
wish Dick and his good lady is, that their granite boulders may
turn into ' nuggets,' for I know of no couple that would make
better use of a thousand a week. But, hie ! How about
Hopbloom %

Well, the next morning I took ' Marky Beresford ' — who
was also staying at Chirk — to cast his eye over my new purchase,
in a wretched box at the Raven Hotel, and that extra good
judge of the equine species evidently pitied his elderly pal for
so rashly purchasing such a long-hauled rat. But it did me
good to note his look of surprise when, the following spring, I

MACHELL AND MATCH-MAKING. 293

asked him if he recognized a lovely round and shapely three-
year-old (with a coat like satin) in Blanton's stable. When I
told him it was the Shrewsbmy donkey that he had so despised
last I^ovember, he cordially agreed with me that he was quite
a dear, and yet not too dear at 340 guineas. This year, one of
my own breeding, Brigg Boy, 2 yrs., a very pretty little brown
colt by Broomielaw out of Vigorous by Vedette, won me a
race at Epsom Summer, and a match at Newmarket, beating
poor ' Duppy's '^ Kaleidoscope at 8 st. 10 lbs. each, when
Fordham did the trick. He also won a Nursery at Newmarket
First October, and another at Lincoln Autumn, when most of
the Briggites (my neighbours) were well ' on ' their Boy. Poor
little horse, he was unlucky in 1876, as he ran second to Con-
troversy, 5 yrs., for the Lincoln Handicap. Had he won, I
should have landed a nice stake. He won a race at Newmarket
Craven Meeting on the Tuesday,

That night I dined with Captain Machell and Fred Calthorpe,
and that's the only time that I know for certain I put away
two bottles of superior ' chammy,' because the other two drank
claret. The result of this extra dose of ' pop ' did me more
good than harm, and that I can prove this way. Machell,
knowing I was fond of a match, suggested that he would run
Oxonian, aged, against Brigg Boy, 3 yrs., one mile. It was a
queer match to make, as the old horse was past his best, and a
straight mile at Newmarket was too far for my little horse.
However, I agreed that we should run the Ditch Mile at even
weights, for =£200, on the Thursday, and that didn't take very
long arranging ; but the weights the horses were to carry took
a lot of settling. Machell would insist on eight stone — giving
as his reason that he wanted Archer to ride Oxonian — and at
last I gave way, and the match was duly drawn out, signed,
and sent to Weather by 's.

We parted the best of friends, but as I strolled home I
bethought me it would be judicious to secure Archer to ride
mine (as Fordham was unwell and not riding). So next
morning I stowed away my rasher of bacon and drop of tea
a bit earlier than usual, and set my cob and cigar going up
the Bmy Hill. I soon found Archer, whom I thus accosted :
' You ain't beholden to Captain Machell, are you ? ' ' No,'
said he. ' Right,' said I ; ' you would as soon ride for me as
for him"?' ' Every bit. Sir John.' ' Right you are then,' said
I ; ' I made a match last night, and I want you to ride Brigg
Boy for me to-morrow, eight stone.' ' With pleasure,' said he,
^ The late Lord DuppUn.

294 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

* and what's the other horse 1 ' * Old Oxonian, even weights,
Ditch Mile.' ' Oh dear ! ' he said, ' I'm afraid he will beat
you, for I know the old horse is very well just now.' ' Never
mind ! I may depend on you to ride mine ? ' ' Quite right.
Sir John,' and so we separated. Some hour or two afterwards
the Captain appeared on his pony, and asked Archer to ride
Oxonian. ' "Very sorry. Captain, but I have promised to ride
Brigg Boy for Sir John.' "What passed I don't know, and
perhaps if I did I shouldn't write it down, but whilst I was
betting on some race that afternoon at the stand, Machell
came up to me, and said : ' You're a pretty fellow ! ' ' Right ! '
said I ; ' I thought so when I looked in the glass this morning ;
and what good "pop" that was you gave me last night!'

* Yes, but you have done me out of Archer, and you know I
insisted on eight stone so that I could have him to ride mine.'
I replied, ' I have a vivid recollection of all that passed last
night, and undoubtedly you were keen to have Archer ; but I
had a fancy that way too, and I have got him — so it's odds
on " pop " against claret for early rising, ain't it, if you only
get it good and take enough of it ? ' And lucky it was I had
got Archer, for after a tremendous race he just got Brigg
Boy home a short neck in front of T. Chaloner on Oxonian.

That was the last time Brigg Boy won for me; he was
beaten in a match with Caledon Alexander's Nina, 2 years,
when it was thought such a cert, that 5 to 2 was laid on the
Boy. To show how peculiar the running of horses is at times,
and how careful we should be not to blame owners, trainers,
or riders without really knowing something, I will tell you
what happened at Doncaster this year. The Duke of Hamilton
owned Lollypop, 3 years, and he and Brigg Boy ran in the
Portland Plate at Doncaster on the Thursday, at even weights,
7 st. 6 lbs. each; Huxtable rode the Duke's, and E-ossiter
rode mine. After a severe race Lollypop won, beating Brigg
Boy by a neck. Next day the two horses met again — same
course, same riders — but Lollypop carried ten pounds extra
for winning, therefore Brigg Boy had ten pounds the best of
the weights. He started at 7 to 4, and Lolly at 10 to 1 ; but
Lollypop won, a length and a half, the Boy being second.
Now, the real sharp's idea, I suppose, would be that I went
for the Duke the second day ; but he would not have thought
so if he had glanced at my book, for I thought the safest horse
in the race was Lollypop, and bet according.

The Boy's last race for me was at Lincoln Autumn, when
C. Morbey (now the king of Soham and perhaps the luckiest

HOPBLOOM WINS HUNT CUP AT ASCOT. 295

and most intelligent owner of 1893) rode him, and the event
looked a dead snip ; but at the distance the saddle turned
round, and Morbey finished on his bare back ; so that good
thing didn't come off, and I sold my little horse to Lord
Rosebery for a thousand.

This year, 1876, Hopbloom, 3 years, won me a little handi-
cap at the Craven Meeting. He was then trained for the
Ascot Stakes, where I ran him and backed him freely ; but
he and three others ran out at the top turn near the stables,
and my Bloom went end over end into the blooming gorse
and heather. When I went to stables in the evening at the
Ascot Hotel, Blanton was all for sending him home ; but I
told him I had had a bad race, and that the horse had a
chance in the Hunt Cup, so that I should run him the next
day ; as it turned out I was right, for he won cleverly, and at
a nice price. I had taken 1000 to 30 five times and had shut
up my volume, when a good little bookie from Nottingham
came right across the ring, and dared me to take forty ponies,
a pretty bet which I could not turn away. Little Hopkins
rode a good race, and luckily neither he nor the horse were
the worse for their tumble the day before.

I kept Hopbloom for the Autumn Handicaps, and thought
he was good enough to win the Cesarewitch at 6 st. 12 lbs.,
but poor Rossiter rode his head off. I particularly impressed
upon him not to come to the front till he got to the Bushes,
but in the Bird Cage, after the race, little Charles Rayner
'('The Weasel') confidentially informed me that Hopbloom would
win the Cambridgeshire ; for, said he, ' I was on my hack at
the corner of the Ditch, and your horse was leading the lot
four lengths ' (so much for my orders to Rossiter !). It is a
matter of history now that Rosebery won both the Cesarewitch
and Cambridgeshire that season, but my horse was only beaten
a neck for the Cambridgeshire. I was riding my hack on the
top side of the course whilst the race was being run, and
galloped parallel with the running horses from the Red Post,
holloaing like a madman, ' Go it, Hopkins ! well done, Hop-
kins ! ' (same boy that won on him at Ascot), and from where
I was — behind the horses — I really thought I had won ; but
no such luck ! I was second, beaten a neck — nice price it
was too, 40 to 1. We had two better favourites in the stable,
but I should have landed a pot. Rosebery was a good horse
that day, and his party landed a lot of money. I sold Hop-
bloom to the Duke of Montrose for two thousand, and he won
him some races, and a good job too, for ' Ronnie ' Montrose

296 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

was, and is, as good a sort as they make 'em, and so is the
Duchess (I don't mean his mother).

Now I must return to the doings of Scamp. This year he
never won a single race; so I sent him and Bridget, by
Hermit out of Bertha — whom I had bought after winning a
selling-race at Newmarket July the year before, when a two-
year-old, for 440 guineas — to Epsom. Bridget had won for
me this year the Trial Stakes at Epsom Spring, and a little
handicap at Lincoln Autumn, and another at Shrewsbury.
"Well, I sent these two sound, likely nags to Eothergill Row-
lands' training stables at Pitt Place, Epsom, to be taught
jumping. I had known ' Fogo ' Powlands for some years, and
no more amusing companion or loyal friend need one wish
for ; and I don't know a better exhibition of pluck than he
showed when, suffering from gout in both feet and knees, he
insisted on being lifted on to his horse's back sooner than pay
forfeit on one occasion. It was when he rode his horse, The
Guide, 14 st., against the Duke of Hamilton's Yet, 15 st.,
owners up, 2 miles, in March, 1867, at Warwick, and won
anyhow. He was also a fine rider between the flags, and had
once jDOSsessed a beautiful mare, Medora, on whom he had
won some good races, notably one at Cheltenham, carrying
12 st. 7 lbs. She was indeed an extraordinary animal, for
the week she was fifteen years old she won three steej^lechases,
and when she retired to the stud she was the dam of several
youngsters, though none, perhaps, of any great repute. Togo'
had some five-and-twenty horses or so at Epsom, and poor
Jack Jones — now dead — was his principal jockey. I used to
go down to Epsom frequently, to see the horses being schooled
over fences, and many a cheery day and evening have I
enjoyed at Pitt Place. Marky Beresford, Dick Thorold, and
Peggy Herbert were, amongst other pals, often there, and
Mrs. Eowlands (bless her ! she is well and hearty still, and
has sent me this very Christmas — 1893 — a card, with forget-
me-nots and tender wishes for my future emblazoned thereon)
was a real kind hostess, and took immense interest in the
stables. And so did a very pretty woman, Mrs. Sadleir, who,
with her husband the Captain, a very good sort, used to live
a good deal with the Rowlands, and few women could sing
more charmingly than IMrs. S., so you may judge that the
attractions at Pitt Place were a bit mixed, and not entirely
given up to the equine species. "Well, I mean they must be
shut up in darkness to take their rest, long before their
owners or trainers are put to bed, and so it happened not

SEND SCAMP AND BRIDGET TO EPSOM. 297

unfrequently tliat I and others stopped to dinner and a game
of billiards, and — what I liked best — some singing in the
drawing-room.

Scamp and Bridget both took kindly to hurdle- jumping,
though Scamp, rather too often for safety, would knock his
hurdles down. In the early spring of 1877 'Fogo' wrote me
I must come and see my two horses have a stripped gallop
over hurdles on the Croydon race-course ; and so to Epsom I
repaired, and next morning in good time we drove over to
Croydon. Jim Adams (brother to Fred, who was head lad at
Pitt Place, and cousin to Sam, who won many races for W.
Day's stable) rode Scamp, and Peter Crawshaw (good little
Peter ! no better or pluckier gentleman jock than he !) rode
Bridget, and we had a useful animal to make running. After
a well-run, and apparently true, trial. Scamp won nice and
comfortable. ' Fogo ' was delighted, and no error, and declared
he was sure to win the big hurdle-race in March.

Now, during the winter months, Marky Beresford had set
up a separate training establishment at Epsom, and taken
Jack Jones as his trainer and jockey ; so, though ' Marky '
and ' Fogo ' continued friends, there was a slight soreness in
old ' Fogo's ' breast, which made him all the keener to beat
the seceders from his stable, in the Croydon Hurdle-race. I
must tell you that Colonel A. Paget and ' Duppy ' had some
jumpers with ' Marky,' amongst them a very promising tit
named Woodcock, also engaged in the big race at Croydon.
The rival stables were both equally confident they had the
winner. Well, I ran Bridget in the Wickham Hurdle-race at
Croydon in February, and she won so easily that, with luck.
Scamp's chance for the big race looked wonderful rosy ; but
the Epsom people didn't fancy him nearly so much as Wood-
cock, for my horse certainly did jump his hurdles in a slovenly
fashion at times. However, as his speed had been good enough
to win several tidy races on the flat, it was curious the talent
didn't fancy him more than they did. I well recollect, and
cannot help laughing heartily now, at dear old 'Fogo's'
reception of me a few days before the big race came olf . As
I entered the front door he met me, and in his eager, sharp
manner, exclaimed : 'John, how dare they lay 10 to 1 against
my horse ! how dare they, John? Why, it's 10 to 1 on him !
— jDut me 200 on him, John.'

Now, it so happened that both ' Fogo ' and I were wonderful
short, and though my credit was very good, yet I could ill
ail'ord to lose much money at this critical time of year ; so I

298 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

chicled ' Fogo ' for his rashness, but declared him on 1200 to
100 with me, and vulgarly hinted that if the good thing
didn't come oif, the century must be at 'Tatt.'s' on the
Monday after the race. But he would not hear of defeat, and
didn't care a rush for the Monday. The day before the race
I got the following telegram from him, which I have had
framed : ' Finished his work rare and well. I fear nothing.'
Poor old boy ! he was so excited that he forgot my oft-repeated
instructions, that if he took Scamp by rail to Croydon he
must mind and take tlie partitions out of the box ; for, though
he was the most docile and good-tempered of horses. Scamp
could not bear being cramped, or feeling anything beside him.
The consequence was that, when we got down to the course on
March 6th, the best news I heard was that Scamp had injured
himself so much in the train that he would not be able to run.
However, his hurts were exaggerated ; but it had been a near
thing, for, feeling a bit too much penned in, the horse let
drive and kicked a hole right through the side of the box, and
had cut his hock badly.

Well, the wife and I and a coujdIc of pals had posted down
in one of Newman's equipages with a pair of greys, and so had
the Woodcock party, and we both placed our carriages on the
top of the hill, from whence we could see every yard of the
race, while the Pitt Place carriage — full of ladies — with my
colours (straw and green cap) very much en evidence, was there
too. Oh dear ! what fun it was ! Not half a bad day, and
plenty of lunch handy. My confidence was materially increased
when I got the card and read with delight that Scamp was
number 7, and as his weight was 11 st. 11 lbs., I sung out 7's
the main and ll's the nick,i and put a bit more on at 8 to 1
for luck. Old ' Fogo ' was somewhat 2na7io, as he had been
busy fomenting Scamp's hock, and feeling acutely that if by
any possibility the horse didn't win he would be blamed for
his carelessness ; however, Jim Adams was confident, and in
the canter past when it was seen that the injury didn't affect
his action, Togo,' with the aid of an extra glass of 'pop,'
recovered his defiant mien, and called every bookie a fool that
offered to lay, and every backer an idiot that didn't fancy his
certain winner.

I told Jim Adams to lay away, and let the other horses
knock down the hurdles for Scamp, but to come hard all up
the hill and chance the last hurdle. He rode a beautiful race,

^ For the sake of the uninitiated it is as well to explain that eleven is
the nick (as it is called) of seven at the game of Hazard.

JIMMY ADAMS AT KEMPTON. 299

and though my heart was in my mouth at the last hurdle, no
sooner was he over than Scamp sailed away and won eight
lengths. It was lovely ! I never enjoyed a w^in so much, and
never shall again — not a drawback, and all my pals on to a
man, even the opposition stable — whose Woodcock ran third
— saved their money on mine, and plenty of chaff and ' pop,'
you may be sure, was flying about. I won about .£5000
clear, after handing ' Fogo ' his twelve hundred, and giving
the brothers Adams two hundred each (in those days con-
sidered quite a handsome present for head lad and jockey), and
never did money come in more handy, for I was freezing hard
up. Good old Scamp ! he only won one more race for me
— the Midland Handicap, at Warwick Autumn ; curiously
enough, he did not improve in his jumping, and didn't like the
game a little bit. I sent him to Arthur Yates at Alresford,
but he got light on his work, and I had him home, where he
sired some real good hunters, and the wife rides one now by
Scamp out of Bridget. As these two had kept company so
long, I thought in all decency they ought to be married !

When I sold my horses. Scamp was bought by an Australian ;
but he died of inflammation soon after landing in the An-
tipodes. I felt a brute for parting with my pet, but creditors
were real greedy. Bridget won a race for me at Lincoln
Spring, appropriately named the Elsham Hurdle-race. She
won nothing afterwards, and I had her home and put her to
the stud. I must give Jimmy Adams a word of praise for
the way he rode these two winners for me : a fine horseman
and a cheery jock, nearly always laying odds on himself in his
own mind against the best of them, and real fond of the game,
may his shadow never be less ! Not that I have any fear on
that point, for very nearly the last time he rode, as he was
going out of the gate at Kempton Park, the profile of his
figure struck me as so peculiar for a steeplechase rider, that I
felt constrained to do the civil ; so I asked him if I should
take care of his ' tummy ' till he came back again. Touching
his cap he courteously replied, ' Much obliged. Sir John, but I
think you have got plenty to do to take care of your own.'
(N.B. I was then from two to three stone heavier and fatter
than I am now.) It was ready of him, and much to the point,
wasn't it *? Good Jimmy, I hope he will long live to lead in
many winners of his own training and owning, and am glad to
read of his son and heir distinguishing himself in the saddle,

300

CHAPTER XXIX.

Stirling Crawfurd — Sefton's Derby — A Moderate Horse— Buy Diumliead
— Brogden the Jockey — The Bloater in Trouble — Gretton and Isonomy
— He Wins the Cambridgeshire — Mr. Robins and Mr. Lorillard — The
Newmarket Handicap — Parole — Tlie Yankee Wins — Iroquois— A Cast-
iron Horse — L. Rothschild's Sir Bev^ys Wins Derby, 1S79 — Bibury
Dinner, Stockbridge Meeting — Match-making with Caledon Alexander
— Drumhead and Briglia, Owners up, H Miles — Drumhead Wins —
PlougJiing-match Void — Pigeon-match Won by Alexander — I make a
Match with Gretton— Drumhead Breaks Down— Rayon d'Or Wins the
Leger, 1879 — I, a Xew Hat — Rosycross Wins Lincoln Handicap, ISSO
— Bend Or — Robert the Devil — I Lose my Betting-book— An Etfort of
Genius! — Moonstone— Zanoni — A Good Deal — Jack Peyton— Gretton
and Fernandez — Beaten by Lucetta— Poor Gretton !

In 1878, Stirling Crawfurd, a bosom friend of the late George
Payne's, and like him a thorough gentleman and good sports-
man, either when holding his own with the Quorn, or at any
and every kind of shooting, or in the management of his
lengthy string of racehorses, won the Derby with a moderate
horse, Sefton by Speculum. But few benefited by the win,
for the simple reason that in the City and Suburban the
three-year-old with 5 st. 8 lbs. on his back only just won by a
head from Advance, 6 yrs., 8 st., quite a second-class horse,
who was actually giving him six pounds over weight for age.
In July I bought a horse that I had coveted for some time,
more from his make and shape than from any form he had
shown — Drumhead, 5 years., by the Drummer out of Refresh-
ment. I had the luck to claim him out of a selling-race at
Sandown for three hundred. Blanton put the polish on him,
and he won an ' Apprentice Plate ' at Newmarket Second
October, and the next day he won again. In both races he
was ridden by a lad named Brogden, whose stable name was
' Bloater,' as he came from Yarmouth. He looked after
Drumhead, and was a very comical boy, and when winning
this liis first race, he was so elated that before reaching the
judge's box he waved his cap in the air as a token of triumph.

THE 'BLOATER' IN TROUBLE. 301

The second day he rode a really good race, but his success
quite turned his head, and when I went to the stables in the
evening, Blanton, who was a first-class stableman — no better
— observed that ^ Bloater ' had not removed the marks of the
girths under his horse's belly, and the boy being somewhat
saucy, Blanton took him by the hair of his head and pushed
him under the horse, saying : ' Now, you young rascal, look up
there and tell me if you call that doing your horse properly.'
The boy had to get his tools and finish Drumhead's toilet.

Next morning, I noticed ' Bloater ' had had his hair pretty
well shaved off: his head, and asked what had happened to
him, and it came out that, after the rough handling of the
evening before, he went to the saddle-room, and gave one of
the lads a shilling to clip his hair close, saying, he would take
care that his master should not get hold of him by his hair
any more. The present I had given him did him a lot of
harm ; he got into a bad set, and I heard of him no more.
But to return to Drumhead. He was the means of my
winning .£1000 on Isonomy the following week, 'thusly' —
Gretton suddenly appeared at our cottage one morning whilst
we were at breakfast, and asked me to lend him Drumhead,
to make one of the trial horses he was going to gallop
Isonomy with before the Cambridgeshire. I was only too
pleased to oblige him, though I told him my horse was not
good enough to tell him anything ; but he said he was quite
satisfied already that his horse would win, and I must stand
forty ponies with him. I demurred, as Isonomy' s merits up
to then were obscure, and I had already more on the race
than I cared to lose ; however, he persuaded me to stand
£1000 to 25 with him, and said the wife must have £200
to 5 too, and right enough it was, for Isonomy won com-
fortably ; but I should never have backed it had it not been
for Drumhead and Gretton mixed.

One morning in 1879 I opened the front door of our cottage
to an American sportsman, Mr. Eobins, who had come over
to take the manao-ement of a few horses Mr. Lorillard of New

o

York had sent over to Newmarket to be trained, and he
handed me a letter of introduction from a mutual friend.
Having lit a cigar, we talked over the reason of his calling.
I had noticed a very peculiar shaggy and rough-coated old
gelding leading the Yankee's select string at work of a
morning, and Bobins informed me that this same horse was
a real good animal, having so proved himself in his native
country, and he wanted me to back him for the Newmarket

302 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Handicap, which was run that week, to win .£20,000. Now,
as there was little or no betting on the race before the
numbers went up, I suggested that he should begin the other
end, and state what money he was game to lose, and that I
would do the best I could for him ; moreover, I should get a
better price than most, because I was going to back my own
horse Drumhead for a monkey for the same race ; the result
was that I agreed to back Parole for a monkey. He carried
8 st. 4 lbs. and mine 7 st. 2 lbs., and to look at the two
horses it was good odds that mine ought to beat the other
at even weights ; but you can't go by looks, that's for certain,
ain't it 1

Just before the start I declared to Robins that I should
have to pay him about £4500 to his £600 if Parole won, and
I should win about £4000 if Drumhead won ; but, like a fool,
I never had a bob on the Yankee. Nevertheless, I saw him
win very cleverly, a long way in front of my sleek old gee.
The Yank turned out a real useful horse, for not only did he
win a lot of races, but he was school-master to Iroquois,
another American-bred horse who won the Derby and Leger
in 1881, besides many good stakes at Ascot and Newmarket.
He was a cast-iron horse ; for, in my life, I have never seen
any horse stand such a tremendous preparation as his trainer
gave him for the Leger, and though the touts often reported
him settled, you had to lay ' long twos ' on him on the Leger
day, the race never being in doubt. I wish Iroquois had not
returned to his native land, for he was just the horse I should
have liked to have bred from.

In 1879, I had a fair race on Sir Bevys, L. Rothschild's
horse, for the Derby. I had backed him entirely because
Fordham rode him, and, curiously enough, it was the first
Derby the ' Kid ' had ever had his number put up first ;
though I always fancy he did win on Lord Clifden in 1863,
when Macaroni was said to have beaten him a head. At the
same time, I freely admit no one but the man in the box
can say for certain what has won at Epsom, as the stand is
so far behind the winning-post. This being the first Derby
Leo. Rothschild had won, he came in for quite an ovation ;
and quite right too, for, like his good old uncle, he is never
so pleased as when all his pals win with him.

We had a real cheery party at Stockbridge this year. The
Bibury Club Dinner was held in the Grosvenor Arms Hotel,
and I fancy I was in the chair ; at any rate I was ' all there,'
and ripe for match-making. Dear old Caledon Alexander was

THE DRUMHEAD AND BRIGLIA MATCH. 303

also full of play ; so, after a lot of talk and a certain amount
of 'wet,' he and I made three matches — viz., to plough an
acre of land for .£200 ; to shoot fifty pigeons for £200 ; and I
was to ride my horse Drumhead, 6 yrs., against Alec's mare
Briglia, 5 yrs. (owner up), Suffolk Stakes Course, one mile
and a half, at Newmarket July, for a monkey. All these
three matches were written out and duly signed. The next
morning I invested in two thick woollen jerseys, and started
running and walking to Houghton Down (where Tom Cannon
then trained) and back, and I got rid of some five or six pounds
of fat ; but was so thirsty after it, and the pop at luncheon so
beguiling, that I don't think I was an ounce lighter the next
morning ; however, I kept up a fair amount of exercise, and
got olf over a stone, but dared not get any lower. Old Alec
tried to reduce himself as well, but he went wrong in his feet
and had to give up.

Well, we both got to Newmarket a few days before the race
week, and I practised standing up in my stirrups for a mile,
and then two, and borrowed an old hunter of Joe Cannon,
Foxhound by name, to take me round the Bury Hills. He
carried me so well that I gave J. C. two hundred for him — a
very clever hunter he was ; but he was real glad, I fancy,
when the match was over. Of course I rode Drumhead a bit
too, and found him carry me like a bird. Alec, on the other
hand, didn't get on at all comfortably with Briglia, as she was
as narrow as a knife, and a bit too hasty for him.

The day for the match arrived, and a comical pair of jockeys
we were ; extra weights had to be employed when we went to
the scale. I weighed 16 stone 6 lbs., and Alec 16 stone, with
our nasty little seven-pound saddles, totally unsuited to our
well-favoured figures. I cantered my cob down to the post,
and there found Alec emerging from his brougham and pair.
I believe the betting was 7 to 4 on Briglia, as doubtless she
was better form than Drumhead ; but my horse was well
calculated to carry weight, and Alec's mare was not. We
jumped off pretty well together, and Alec made the running
(willy nilly, I fancy). At the turn into the straight Bunbury
mile I was as near as a toucher turning too short, through
mistaking the post; but Tom Jennings and some of the
mounted sports halloaed to me just in time, therefore I didn't
lose much by the mistake, and when we got fairly in the
straight I was only two lengths in the rear. However, Drum-
head was going great guns, and he gradually got to the mare,
and at the corner of the Plantation — some four hundred yards

304 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

from home — I would have bet a guinea to a shilling, for dear
old Alec was very uneasy on his small plate, and Briglia was
in difficulties. So I let Drumhead stride along, and won any-
how by three lengths. Deary me ! there was some cheering,
and amid roars of laughter we shook hands. I know I hurried
off to the luncheon-tent for a glass, for what with the excite-
ment, and the mighty effort of standing up in one's tiny
stirrups for a mile and a half, I was real thirsty. Thus ended
match number one. The ploughing-match never came off — I
wish it had ; and Alec beat me at pigeons at Brighton the
Saturday after Goodwood Eaces. I shot very badly, and only
killed 33 birds to Alec's 38 out of 50.

My success had so elated me that I made a match with
Gretton for five hundred, one hundred forfeit ; I to ride
Drumhead, 6 yrs., and Billy Bevill to ride Solomon, 6 yrs.,
16 st. each, last two miles of Cesarewitch course. About this
time, Blanton, finding that he had more horses than he could
look after, shunted me and two others ; in consequence of
which I moved my horses to Joe Dawson's stables at Bedford
Lodge ; and after I had made this match Dawson told me that
' he was afraid Drumhead's near fore-leg was a bit dicky,' and
I ought to have paid forfeit, as it certainly was a bit warmer
than the other. But I despised Solomon, he was a great big
coach-horse, and slow as a man, though a fair stayer ; and I
thought I could wait on him, and beat him for speed to a
certainty at the finish. Still, to carry sixteen stone two miles,
a horse must be real sound on his legs, and I had to pay for
my obstinacy ; for when we had gone about a mile and a half,
and Beville had been kicking and cuffing at Solomon all the
way, I intimated to my good old horse that we might venture
to get a little nearer than the two lengths which had parted
us all the way ; but Drumhead changed his leg more than
once, and in a stride or two I felt him falter, so I pulled up
and jumped off at the Bushes, and my horse was led home.
Poor old chap ! I felt much annoyed with myself, for I ought
not to have lost my own or my friends' money.

Good old Drumhead ! he was the very kindest and quietest
of horses. I once gave him some whisky before he ran at
Shrewsbury, as I thought he didn't quite struggle as gamely
as he ought, and the old boy liked the cordial so well, that he
followed me round the paddock in hopes of another suck at
the bottle ; yet he had no Scotch blood in him that I know
of ! As soon as he could travel I sent him home to Elsham,
and had my picture done sitting on his back. Yes, he and I

NO HORSESHOES FOR ME NOW. 305

were great friends ; and to show the mutual confidence that
existed between us, I have often sat on his quarters and
smoked my 'baccy whilst he was lying down in his box. I
sold him later on to A. Lumley, of Rulford, where he enjoyed
a comfortable home till he died. My jockey kit has been in
silver pajoer ever since, and I don't suppose I shall ever
struggle into it again ; though I am still open to a retaining
fee as first jockey to any square owner, and could go to scale
about 14 st. 7 lbs., having dwindled down two stone.

Rayon d'Or won the Leger this year, 1879, and I won a
fair stake ; for at Goodwood I thought that big leggy chestnut
had much improved, and told his trainer I fancied he would
be his best at Doncaster ; but Jennings didn't agree with me,
and said he considered Zut ten pound the better horse. Never-
theless, I bet him a new hat that Rayon d'Or would be his
best, and also took forty fifties about him, being much pleased
at getting such a price, especially as I saw the Lord of Crichel
snap up 2000 to 60, and he isn't generally satisfied with any-
thing but the very top of the market. It was all the same on
the Monday after the Leger, and I won a new hat as well.
In the year 1876 I had got comfortably settled in Joe Dawson's
stable ; he was the prince of trainers, and, indeed, one of
' Nature's noblemen'; everything was done in the most perfect
way, and no man could prepare a two-year-old for its engage-
ments, early or late, as he could. This year he won the
Lincoln Handicap in March with Rosy Cross, 6 yrs., a beauti-
ful brown mare belonging to H. Rymill, who told me he
fancied her chance much. So I backed her to win me a nice
little stake ; and here a fortunate superstition I entertained
about picking up horseshoes came in handy. The mare was
saddled on the common outside the ring, and as 1 walked
across to have a look at her, with good old Joe Danby, my
foot hit against some hard substance in the long grass. I
caught sight of a horseshoe, and picking it up, showed it with
great glee to Dawson, telling him I should have another
hundred on the mare ; upon which he asked me to put him on
fifty as well. I got 20 to 1 on the money, and after the mare
had won, we had a friendly glass together over that lucky
shoe.

How is it one don't kick against horseshoes now 1 I sup-
pose it's the advantage of technical education, the consequence
being that they don't come off ; at any rate the twenty to one
don't, with me. My old trainer, Blanton, and his friend
Brewer — a large commission agent — this year owned a real

X

3o6 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

good three-year-old in Robert the Devil ; he was homebred,
and was by Bertram out of Cast Off, a small, insignificant
little mare, not even at the top of plating form, nor was the
sire more than a second-class horse. I often used to look in
at Blanton's and see this horse ; but somehow I didn't fancy
him as much as his owners did, and when Rossiter threw the
race away I wasn't so cut up as many of my friends were, as
Bend Or beat Bobert by a head. However, the tables were
turned in the Leger, for Bobert won, and Bend Or was beaten
out of a place.

I had a nasty jar on this Derby day. There was a big
crowd at the Downs Station after the races, and I was doing
my best to get my wife and a friend into the railway-carriage,
but whilst holding the door with one hand, and keeping the
crowd back with the other, my betting-book was extracted
from my pocket. I found out my loss as soon as we were
seated, and then and there pulled myself together and tried to
recollect all the bets I had made that day (the Tuesday's bets
I had copied out before leaving home in the morning), and,
fortunately, I put down every bet right, both as to amount
and names of those I bet with ; therefore, considering I had
made thirty bets, it was a good performance. I got a new
book for the next day (Thursday), and went down to Epsom
in good time, and after comparing each bet, found I was right
to a pound ; and very lucky it was, for I had won £1425 over
Chevronel, and .£800 on Dreamland, although I only cleared
.£1015 on the day, losing every bet on the Derby. I always
reckon that was the highest test I ever put my small modicum
of brain to.

This was a merry meeting for me. Moonstone, 3 yrs., by
Queen's Messenger (whom I had bought the previous autumn
as a two-year-old, after winning a selling-race at Newmarket,
for 380 guineas) ran second on the Tuesday to Chevronel, 5
yrs. ; so I bought the winner for 230 guineas. He was a
real grand horse, but was somewhat disfigured by the loss of
one eye, and having both hocks fired ; he had never shown
any form before, and on this occasion started at 20 to 1,
unbacked by his owner or trainer. He turned over a new
leaf as soon as I got him, and did me many a good turn ; his
legs were made of steel, and the harder the going the better
he liked it, and he used to come down that Epsom course like
a blast of wind. If he only got off he was bad to beat, and
didn't care for weight. The day after I bought him he won
me a race at 7 to 1, and another on the Friday at 4 to 1, and

A LUCKY BUY IN CHEVRONEL. 307

I won .£1900. Subsequently at Brighton lie landed a nice
stake at 8 to 1. So he wasn't a bad buy, although he had but
one eye — what do you think ?

Now, yoQ often see a horse that runs well at Epsom show
to advantage at Brighton. Moonstone did me a real good
turn this week, for not only was he the means of my buying
Chevronel, but on the Thursday when he won I backed him
freely, and that wasn't one of the silliest days of my life, as
I will try and convince you. As I was going down to Epsom
that morning by train, I was studying the race-card with all
my might, and made out that the Selling Handicap was a real
good thing for one of two, viz. Zanoni or my horse Moon-
stone, and was grumbling to myself that I should have to
back both. No sooner had I arrived in the Club stand than
up came that prince of good fellows, and perhaps the smartest
big man I ever beheld in cavalry uniform — when he com-
manded the 18th Hussars — Jack Peyton, and thus he began :
' Ah, bedad. Mate, and how are ye *? It's yourself that's
always fond of buying a good selling-plater.' ' Bight you
are, Jack ! and what's its name 1 ' ' Ah, well, it's my cousin
that owns Zanoni, and he wants to sell him.' 'Where's the
horse, and how much does he want for him ? ' ' He'll just be
in the paddock, I'm thinking, and it's a monkey he wants for
him; he should be worth that same, anyway.' 'Bight,' I
said ; ' we will go and have a look at him,' and down we went,
and ' cousin ' and I soon came to terms, for I was very keen,
and he took my hand over my first offer — four hundred on
Monday, and one hundred first win.

I felt rich directly ; for now Moonstone was good — in
fact, a dead snip — for the Selling Handicap : for, though the
Peytons and their trainer urged me to run Zanoni, as he was
so well and sure to win, yet I was firm, and made up my
mind I would put him upsides of my trying tackle at New-
market before I put the dollars down, and I advised them to
have a dash on Moonstone, as I meant to do. And, would
you believe if? the benighted bookies laid 7 to 1 — such a
templing price that I invested a bit extra, and when I tottled
up my book (after he had won comfortably) I found I had
landed £4350 on him, besides having Zanoni to look forward
to. Moonstone won me another race at Brighton and again
at Shrewsbury.

This autumn I went for a big stake on the Cambridgeshire,
having got into m.y head that Fernandez, 3 yrs., 8 st. 1 lb.,
ridden by Fordham, was real good goods. He was own

3o8 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

brother to Isonomy, and his owner, having won a great stake
the year before on this race, meant having another try. I
never shall forget Gretton taking me into Fernandez's box
the evening before the race. He had done himself a little
extra well (as was not his unfrequent habit), and when I said
I had never seen a horse look better, and that I considered
the race as good as over, he replied, ' Yes, that's all very
well ; but he has got at least ten pounds more on him than
he would have had if Tom Cannon had not gone and run
Bend Or to a head for the St. James's Palace Stakes at Ascot.
Whatever did he want to beat the Derby winner for 1 I told
him the horse wasn't fit, and that I wanted to win the Cam-
bridgeshire with him. I never can make out what Tom was
about that day. Oh dear ! oh dear ! it would have been a
good thing to-morrow if Tom hadn't gone and raced the
winner of the Derby ! Whatever did he do it for 1 ' And
when I left him he was still bemoaning his jockey's upright-
ness over a glass of Scotch, though the reason wasn't very far
to seek.

If you put a square jockey on a good horse and the stake
is worth nearly £2000, you wouldn't expect to see your horse
beat off, would you ? However, next day when Fordham on
Fernandez had apparently the race in hand, Soltykoff's little
four-year-old mare Lucetta, carrying 7 st. 1 lb., swerved right
across the course and finished on the low side, beating
Fernandez by a bare half-length. Of course there was an
objection; but the stewards confirmed the judge's verdict.
I made good use of the half- hour they were taking evidence
by hedging some of my money, and as I had £2500 to £1
about Lucetta beforehand, I had a fair race ; though, as has
so often happened to me, I missed the big money by sheer
bad luck, for had not Fordham chucked up his horse to save
him striking into the mare he would have won right enough.
Poor Gretton was fit to be tied, and must have consumed
enough Scotch to wash a bus before he got over this sad slip
between the cup and the lip.

309

CHAPTER XXX.

Stay at Wynnstay for Chester — Lord Combermere — Frank Foster — Tom
Drake — Lords Portsmouth and Falmouth of the Party— Simpson the
Stud-Groom — Windsor, 4 Years, Wins the Cup — I Buy Peter— Terrible
Luck at Manchester — Peter at Ascot— A Wonderful Win — The Ameri-
can Plunger — A Deadly iSTuisance — I gire him a Bit of my Mind —
Unlucky with Powell, 2 Years — Table of Running for Year — Hard Up
—I Sell Peter to Richard Combe for £6000— Struggle on Afresh-
Archer and Edensor — Highborn and Lefevre— Dresden China— Ought
to have AVon Cesarewitch— My AVinnings during 26 Years — j\Iy System
not altogether to be Recommended — Ditferent Katures take their Losses
Differently — Author or Bear — Dormouse or Fossil — A AVord to others
as to the Reason of so many Men going to the AA'all, Racing — Stakes
much larger than they were up to 1882 — Renders Betting not quite so
Absolutely Necessary.

In May 1881 I went to stay with good old Watty ArYynn, at
YYynnstay, for Chester. What a rare sort was Sir Watkin !
He didn't care a deal about racing, but was very fond of
hunting, and kept a wonderful clever lot of weight-carrying
hunters, most of them bought for him by his old comrade and
fast friend in the Household Cavalry, Lord Combermere, as
good a fellow as ever lived ! Old Simpson was his stud-
groom, a truly remarkable character, both to look at and to
listen to ; and the week in question we had a cheery lot
of old sports, for Alexander, Frank Foster, Tom Drake,
Portsmouth, and Falmouth were of the l)arty.

I had bought the year before a nicely-turned little three-
year-old mare, by Hermit out of Musket's dam, after winning
a selling-race at the Royal Borough ; so I christened her
* Windsor.' She had a fair turn of speed, and could stay a
little bit, and as she was nicely handicapped in the Chester
Cup I had her sent there ; but Dawson didn't think much
of her chance, and did not go to Chester. On the Tuesday
evening I took Tom Drake to the stables to see my mare, and
we found her so much amiss that we both thought it folly to
run her. However, next morning before the races, I took

3IO FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Simpson with iis, and he prescribed a tonic for the mare, and
she seemed so much more comfortable after it that I sent her
into the paddock, and well watched her. She settled down,
and was so calm that I took 1000 to 60 five times about her,
and told Weston (the jockey whose acquaintance I had made
whilst investigating the Glance case in 1875) to take the lead
as soon as he could get to the front, keep close to the rails,
and never let any horse get upsides of him if he could help
it, and that he should have fifty ready if he won. Sure
enough the mare was so handy, that round the first turn she
got inside, and Weston kept her there, made all the running,
and won cleverly, this pretty win being solely attributable to
old Simpson's tonic.

Sad to say, all those good men and true who were of that
party have been gathered, except Frank Foster and myself ;
and so has Simpson, but he bequeathed me the receipt, and it
is still on offer at a nominal sum. Windsor didn't do much
good afterwards, and Blanton bought her at my sale in
December, and put her to the stud ; she is the dam of
Windgall, a good but unlucky horse.

Now I had coveted Peter, 5 yrs., by Hermit out of Lady
Masham, for some months, and old Gee, who had bought him
at General Peel's sale, had given me the refusal of him for six
thousand guineas, for being an old friend of Dawson's he was
very wishful that the horse should stop in the stable. The
moment Windsor had weighed out all right, I wired off to
Gee that I would buy Peter, asking him to meet me at New-
market on the Saturday. He duly turned up and the bargain
was concluded ; though not without the assistance of an old
friend, who lent me £2500 out of the £6300 I paid for the
best horse of his day — if not of any other. On that Saturday
morning I caught Archer on the Bury Hills, and he opened
his eyes wide when I told him I had bought Peter, as he
imagined that one or two men whose income was more per
week than mine was per year, would buy the horse. I
chided him for thinking they would be so rash, and told him I
hoped he would ride Peter for me in the Hunt Cup at Ascot,
which he was sure to win no matter what weight he was
handicapped at, and he at once agreed ; and I began thinking
whether the Cup would be as nice a one as was Hopbloom's.

One morning, about a week after, Peter went so well one
mile and a half, that I asked Sherrard, who had now taken
the management of the horses at Bedford Lodge (poor Joe
Dawson being very ill), to let Peter go round the Lime Kilns

THE MANCHESTER CUP. 311

with Foxhall, 3 yrs., who was then being trained for the
Grand Prize, and I never saw a horse cut down another easier
than Peter did the Yankee ; and when we weighed their riders
after the morning's work, we found that Peter was giving
Foxhall two stone and a half, and it looked as if he could give
him another stone, anyhow. So I made up my mind to have
a cut in with him for the Manchester Cup, one mile and
three-quarters.

Now comes (to my mind) the most extraordinary bit of bad
luck I ever heard of. Of all the unwritten laws of racing the
one most generally observed is, that an owner ought never to
take off the jockey of the stable, if he is a good rider, and has
served him well and faithfully ; so I had told C. Wood he was
to ride Peter in the Manchester Cup. The week before the
race, as Archer was riding out of the gate at Kempton he gave
me a note, saying : ' This will interest you. Sir John. I will
ride Peter if you wish,' and away he cantered down to the
post. I read the note he had handed me, it was from Captain
Machell to Archer : — ' Dear Sir, if you will ride Yalour in the
Manchester Cup I will run him ; if not, I shall not send him
to Manchester.' When Archer came back he asked, ' What
answer shall I send the Captain 1 ' I told him on no account
would I take the stable jockey (Wood) oif my horse. I had
asked him (Archer) to ride Peter in the Hunt Cup, because I
knew two of Wood's masters — who had prior claims on his
services — were certain to want him ; and added — with a slight
dash of scorn — he might ride Yalour by all means, but what
chance had he to beat Peter at four pounds 1 Well, it came
to pass that my doing the proper thing was the cause of great
disaster to me, for in the race Yalour beat Peter by a neck,
which made a difference to me of over twelve thousand
pounds ; besides which, had Peter won, I should have then
and there bought Barcaldine of his Irish owner.

It was aggravating, very ! Archer never rode a better race
than that Manchester Cup, and I verily believe Peter could
have given Yalour twenty-one pounds. I should have made a
match with Machell, but Peter was not to be relied upon ; he
might not start, or he might stop in the race. That was not
my only bad luck that day. I had brought two useful selling-
platers to get my money back in case Peter did not win, and
the very next race after the Cup, I started Costa in a selling-
race and backed him freely. He won cleverly ; but, as I was
talking to some one, I did not go to see the horse weigh in,
when, suddenly, up ran somebody and told me Wood could

312 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

not draw the weight. I scuttled into the weighing-room, and
whilst the horse's bridle was being taken oli*, I told the clerk
of the scales to put four pounds in ; as that hardly turned the
scale, of coiu'se the bridle was useless and Costa was dis-
qualified; therefore my losses were considerably increased,
instead of lightened. A four-pound cloth must have been
abstracted by some interested individual ; for it is any odds
that Wood weighed out right.

I never recollect to have heard of any harder luck than
those two consecutive fiascos. In the first place, had I taken
Wood off and put Archer up, Yalour would not have run and
Peter would have won lengths ; in the second, had the weights
not been tampered with I should have been handy ' home,
sweet home.' ISTo, it was hot — very hot. However, I pulled
out Zanoni next day, and he not only won, but weighed in
all right : so I had a smirk and a smile left ; for I had bought
Zanoni — as I told you — at Epsom last year under somewhat
peculiar circumstances, fancying that he would bring me some
chips, and he did, at a most useful juncture, and no error.
Well, the sometimes naughty Peter was none the worse for
his Manchester race, and he and I duly arrived at Ascot, and
as there were only some rips in the Queen's Vase on the
Tuesday, I thought Peter might canter with them, and place
that piece of plate on my sideboard. But there must be two
to any bargain, and Peter didn't fall in with my views, for
when he got to the stable turn he pulled up and began kicking,
and eventually returned to the paddock. That looked bad for
the Hunt Cup on the morrow ; but, notwithstanding his
foolish pranks on Wednesday morning, I found he was first
favoin-ite, and I had to take 5 to 1.

I warned Archer, when about to mount, to treat him kindly,
and, if he felt like stopping, to pat his neck and coax him. I
also sent ' Farmer ' ^ Giles on my cob down to the post with a
hunting-whip, being afraid that Peter might run back and try
what the iron gates were made of, at the start for the new
mile. All who were there, know what a wonderful animal
Peter proved himself that day. Soon after he started he
began to scotch, and was on the point of stopping to kick,
as he had done the day before; but Archer patted him
(according to my orders), and though at the half-mile he was a
long way last, he suddenly took hold of his bit, and, coming
up hand over hand, he won quite cleverly, and that with 9 st.
3 lbs. on his back. When Giles returned on my cob he could
1 Giles the jockey, nicknamed 'Farmer.'

ARCHER'S FORETHOUGHT. 313

not believe it possible the horse had won ; for he declared he
was so far behind at the half-mile post when he went over the
hill, that he felt certain he would be last at the finish. How-
ever, he realized the fact when I gave him a ' pony ' for his
trouble ; and he bought a black pony with it, which he after-
wards rode constantly at Newmarket.

On the Friday, Peter looked good (if in the humour) for the
Hardwicke Stakes, worth over three thousand, and here
Archer's wonderful forethought came in useful. Before the
races began he said to me : ' I have been thinking over this
race. Sir John. You know the start for the mile and a half
we run to-day is just below the spot where Peter stopped to
kick on Tuesday, and it is very likely, if I canter up j)ast it
with the other horses, he may take it into his head to repeat
his Tuesday's performance. If you will get leave from the
stewards, I will hack canter him round the reverse way of the
course, and arrive at the starting-post just as the other horses
fall in; by so doing, he may jump off and go kindly.' 'A
brilliant idea, my lad,' said I, and Peter was seen to emerge
from the paddock some minutes before the other horses.
Luckily, they were off at the first attempt, and he literally
walked in, eight lengths ahead. I didn't bet till I saw Peter
was fairly olf, but was fortunate to have two good bookies,
hungry to get back some of the Hunt Cup money I had won
of them, and so I landed some £1500 at evens.

I wonder where Yalour would have been that day 1 Why,
sprawling like a drunken gipsy under the Spagnoletti board,
whilst Peter was pulling double past the post. No ! Peter
was a rattling good horse that Ascot, and how he came to
disgrace himself as he did at Goodwood I never could under-
stand. In the Cup, only three runners, he, with two stone in
hand, was cantering behind his moderate companions, as the
three disappeared from view on the far side of the Cup course,
and lo ! when the competitors came in sight again, there were
only two, and wilful Peter presently returned by a short cut
to the paddock, after having got tired of kicking ; and ditto
ditto in the Singleton Stakes the same afternoon. Peter won
me one more race at Newmarket, and ran a real good horse
in the Jockey Club Cup, when beaten by Corrie Eoy by a
head, giving her plenty of weight. I had a good Epsom this
year (1881); my two best winners, curiously enough, being
the same horses that had benefited me most the previous year
at Epsom — viz., Chevronel, on whom I won £3560 on the
Tuesday, and, the same day, £2100 on Moonstone.

314 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

I had bought a selling-plate winner at Lincoln Spring,
Medicus, 2 yrs., by Joskin, for 140 guineas, and he turned
out a very consistent runner, winning me several races, and
being in the first three every time he ran but once, that being
at Newmarket, when ridden by a foolish jockey. He was
beaten out of a place on the Wednesday in the Criterion
Nursery ; but, the next day — with Wood on his back — he
won a mile nursery. This was the time that nuisance, the
Yankee plunger, ' Walton,' got all the money as soon as the
numbers were up, and I was obliged to give him a bit of my
mind in somewhat forcible language. Another very sharp
horse at five furlongs, I bought at Manchester — Glen Albyn,
by Blair Athol. By far the best two-year-old of my own
breeding was Rowell, by Hermit out of Vigorous, a beautiful
colt ; and when I tried him I fondly hoped that the 10,000
to 100 I had taken of Captain Batchelor for the Derby of 1882,
would at all events see good hedging, if not be transferred to
my pocket. But, alas ! whilst running in the July Stakes he
broke a blood-vessel, and, though I gave him every chance,
the same thing happened nearly every time he sported silk ;
though at exercise he could get through real good gallops
with Blower and Corky (two other decent two-year-olds I
possessed) without accident. I had over sixty horses pass
through my hands this year ; but many of them (claimed in
selling-races) I let go, if not good enough to keep. I won
sixty-four races, more, I believe, than was ever won by any
man in one year, and I thus totted down the result on the
back of one of the Eight Hon. Jim Lowther's electioneering
cards, which I now copy : —

My horses ran 261 times ; therefore, as the following table shows, they
were in the first three 149 times out of 261 starts :
Placed first
„ second
,, third
Unplaced

64

54

31

112

261
^ Ride 'em out, lad.'

This year I won £16,800 in bets and £15,871 in stakes,
and yet was cruel hard-up ; so, after the Houghton week, I
fortunately found a good customer for poor Peter in Richard
Combe, who, I believe, as much out of kindliness as because
he wanted the horse, gave me a cheque for six thousand pounds
(most of which went into the pockets of the bookies), and he

ARCHER AND EDENSOR. 315

put him. to the stud. He stood at a place near Cobham his
first season, where the men were frightened at him, and when
I went down one day to see him, the man in charge said :
' Take care how you go up to him, sir ! ' I told him to undo
the rack-chain, and leave me in the box with Peter, and no
sooner did I talk to him than he knew me at once, and put
his nose almost into my coat-pocket, to look for a bit of sugar.
The following year, when he was located at Newmarket,
where he was well cared for, I went, with some other men — ■
after the races — to see him, and directly I halloaed to him,
' How are you, old boy 1 ' he hinnied with delight, though the
door was shut and he could not see me ; but, directly I went
into the box, we were fast friends at once. He is now abroad.
His stock are many of them very speedy, but lack bone (as a
rule), and are none too reliable. A more sensible horse in the
stable there never was, but on the race-course Peter was an
idiot, at times.

On December 20th I sold seventeen horses at TattersalFs,
and they fetched £8710; Medicus, £1500, was the highest
price.

I came up smiling (grimly) in 1882, and began well by
winning the Brocklesby Stakes at Lincoln with Petticoat, a
very speedy two-year-old chestnut filly by Blair Athol out of
Crinon, that I had bought at Chobham Sale last summer,
same day that I bought Lovely, by Alvarez out of Electric
Light, two well-chosen youngsters who paid me well, the two
only costing me six hundred pounds. I also ran a two-year-
old, one of my own breeding, Saucy Boy, the produce of the
marriage of Scamp and Bridget. He won three or four races,
and was perhaps the most perfectly formed little animal I ever
saw. I must tell you another trait of Archer's extraordinary
forethought and keenness to ride a winner. I had bought
Edensor, 3 yrs. , by Lo wlander, the year before of Lord Huntly ,
but he only won me one race at Goodwood, and that was on
the Friday, when very few of my pals were on ; but, unfortu-
nately, very many of them had followed my tip, and backed
him in the Stewards' Cup on the Tuesday, when a small boy
could make nothing of him, he being over sixteen hands.

Well, this year, 1882, the only race he won was at New-
market July. It was a Welter Handicap, and I thought he
had no chance ; in fact, I was not going to run him, till
Archer came up to me and asked ' if Edensor was going to
run.' On my saying, 'No, he could have no chance,' he re-
plied, ' You ought to run him, and if you will let me ride him

3i6 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

he will win, and you must back him.' I never was more
astonished ; but, as I thought he must know more than I did,
I told him he could ride the horse. I took 1000 to 100 about
him, and he started first favourite at 5 to 2, and won. Archer
knew something when he came and asked to ride him, you
viay bet, and, what is more, the horse never won again. At
Sandown July I sold another batch of fifteen horses for £5900,
and struggled on again.

In 1883 I don't think I had any horses, and at Doncaster I
sold Highborn for 1000 guineas to Mr. Eyke, but, though at
his new home he was the sire of several good jumpers, his
stock did not shine on the flat. Highborn (originally named
Plebiscite), by Gladiateur out of Eille de I'Air — perhaps the
two best French animals that ever raced in England — was
given me by M. Lefevre. One evening he was showing me
his horses in T. Jennings's stable, and in one of the boxes
was a good-looking three-year-old which had somehow ricked
its back ; at any rate it dragged its hind legs, and had got the
straw into heaps, from not being able to lift his hind feet over
the bedding. Lefevre was bemoaning his bad luck, as he had
tried the colt as a two-year-old a neck better than Flageolet,
and looked forward to his winning freely for him ; when, by
some accident, the horse went wrong in his back, and having
kept him a year he considered his case hopeless for racing
purposes, and offered to give him to me. I said I would give
him a trial, and when I got him home I put him on sawdust.
In a short time he could move round his box with much more
freedom, and soon was able to walk and trot fairly well. One
of his first foals was that topping good mare Dresden China,
whose dam Fortress (a very moderate performer) belonged to
a sporting yeoman. Bob Walker, a neighbour of ours, and a
real good rider between the flags. The filly turned out a fair
two-year-old, and if she had only been well managed as a
three-year-old, she would have won the Cesar e witch for certain ;
but her owner was too eager, and won the Great Yorkshire
Handicap at Doncaster with her, so, having to carry the
penalty, she was only third for the big handicap — what a
fortune thrown away ! for, had he come to me and told me
how good she was, and trusted me with the commission, I
would gladly have guaranteed him £5000 to 100, besides
which I should have had a pleasant win myself in 1879. In
1880 she won both Goodwood and Doncaster Cups.

But to return to Highborn : he soon began to show there
was not much the matter with his back, for he acquired a

MY SCHEME OF FINANCE. 317

trick of standing up on his hind-legs and battering the brick
wall of his box with his fore-feet, and out of curiosity I
measured the height from the floor to where he pounded the
bricks. I found it ten feet four inches — the strongest-backed
horse in England could have reached no higher ! I always
speak of men as I find 'em, and I don't believe there was ever
a straighter owner of racehorses than Lefevre. He showed
his sense by giving Fordham a retainer, and the number of
races he won for him by sheer riding was something wonderful.
The most notable that occurs to me at this moment, was his
winning the Jockey Club Cup on Ladislas by a head in the
very last stride. Lefevre was a princely supporter of racing,
was generous to a fault, and, unlike Count Lagrange, there
was no mystery about his horses.

Now we approach the end of my racing career, at all events
of my owning horses, and betting monkeys. I hardly bet this
year at all till Ascot, and, though I won some £6000 between
this and the end of the season, I was fairly settled, and in my
betting ledger, which I kept very carefully up to December
1883, 1 see the following somewhat peculiar note : — ' Am dead
broke, shall have to live at Elsham entirely, like a blooming
maggot in a nut. Shall I ever bet a " monkey " on a race
again? I should like to, but it's naughty, nous verrons.'
What do you think] Li twenty-six years I had won £28,968
by betting. Some of my readers may want to know how I
managed to get broke if I won over a thousand a year. Now,
you young men that happen to read this effusion, mark and
learn. For the first three years I bet only in small sums, but
lost each year about half my (then) small income. I had of
course to borrow money to pay my way. This I did legiti-
mately by insuring my life at three to three-and-a-half per
cent., and borrowing money on the policy at five — i. e. I had
to pay £80 a year for every £1000 I borrowed.

As my income decreased I thought it advisable to increase
my investments, and at one time my luck seemed to turn, as
I began winning handsomely. For instance, in 1862 I won
£11,097; in 1863, though I won over £11,000 in the Sussex
fortnight, I only won £6000 on the year ; so you may judge I
was fairly on the job. When I won, I ought of course to have
stored the chips for a rainy day, but I was goose enough to
spend it, and when I lost I had to borrow, voila tout. The
wonder is not that I got broke, but how it was I lasted so
long as I did — viz., twenty-five years. It requires a man of
very superior ability, whose income is only £1500, paid

3i8 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

quarterly, to realize, when he is paid twice that amount on
a Monday in cash, after a fair week's luck, that his expenses
must be guided by his legitimate income, and the superfluous
dross must be devoted to paying off his debts, or even entrusted
to his bankers. Well, my ability was not superior, that is
certain ; and so I continued spending when I won, and borrow-
ing when I lost ; till at last I had to pull up, and eke out the
rest of my days, as I am now doing, on a small allowance.

You, my readers, may have noticed that sudden changes of
this sort affect some men differently. Some hybernate the
year round like the grizzly bear and the dormouse do in
winter ; others turn into fossils, and are seen no more by
their compeers ; others take to an inordinate amount of
alcohol, which promptly lands them in the cremating - pot ;
others doze away their existence in foreign parts ; while some
glorious examples may be found who, made of sterner stuff,
attempt to increase their pensions by their wits, and though
not natui-ally suited for the ' lofty calling,' become authors !
I ain't the bear or the dormouse, nor the fossil, nor the
alcoholic sponge, nor the gourmand who lives on frogs and
macaroni far from his native shore ; so I must be the elevated,
and may I add the ' instructive, author,' who hopes by his
confessions to dissuade young men from getting into debt, and
then trying to get clear by gambling. The real reason that
racing is accountable for so many men getting wrong is, that
the ordinary run of mortals cannot put by their winnings.
Then, again, the training, travelling, entering and forfeit
expenses are very heavy, and require a substantial income to
meet them without betting. Bear in mind also that, up to
the time I got broke, the stakes to be won were very much
smaller than they have been since 1882.

319

CHAPTER XXXI.

The Gallant Major of Hussars — 'Who says a Card V — A Learned Divine
— Granite or What? — My Brother an Adept at Cock-fighting — His
Indian Birds— The Old Black Hen— I Travel Manchester Way to
Witness a Cock-fight — Various Precautions — The Sapient Myrmidons
of the Law — My Lame Companion — I'Anson's Sale at Malton — How
we Outwitted the Police in the Eastern Counties — Painting the 'Bus
Windows — The Wrong Scent — A Pleasant Day's Sport — A Few Words
on the Pastime of Cock-fighting — A Tempting Offer — A Story of the
Past wherein I Prove how Sensitive are the Feelings of some People —
The Working-Man's Club — I produce my Running and Pacing Prizes
— Likewise the Garments Donned on most Occasions when Running —
The Infuriated Sky Pilot— I attempt to Pay him off— My Little New
Year's Gift— The Stuffed Canary Presented by the Congregation— A
Little Suggestion on the Subject.

It is very difficult to give up talking racing. Still, don't be
frightened, I am not going to spin you a long yarn ; but, on
my way down to Ascot, in 1884, 1 happened to be in the same
railway-carriage as a very smart Major of Hussars, whom I
did not then know. I had bought a race-card, and — after
much study — -by the time we had got to Staines I had marked
(to my mind) the probable winners ; and this is a custom I
still keep up. The Major had vainly shouted at several
stations for a ' kerrect card,' without obtaining one ; so, as I
was bent on getting a little ' ready ' to face the bookies with,
I offered him my card, ready marked and nicely trimmed, all
for one-and-six — cheap as rags ! — and he, luckily, became its
possessor. With fair good fortune I bought another card at
the next station for sixpence, so I had a nice balance of twelve
pence to gamble with.

You must know I had now taken to betting ready money
only, a great safeguard. It's that terrible easy custom of
betting ' on the nod ' that plays havoc even with the miost
careful, particularly after a free luncheon with the soldiers.
Well, I had been most fortunate in my selections en route,
and, beginning with a very small outlay, had run into £160.

320 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

I had only bet on four races, and was on the spot each time.
At the Turf Club that evening, I was congratulated by a pal
on having had a real good day. I asked whence he got his
information. He said : ' The Major who bought your marked
card is a friend of mine.' And it appears that he had told
him how I had been the means of tui-ning the first three days
of heavy loss into a glorious ' home, sweet home ' day on the
fourth, and a nice bit to take on Monday. Wonderful luck
for him, wasn't it 1 The gallant soldier sent me a very pretty
pencil-case to commemorate his gratitude. He told me after-
wards that he had followed my markings explicitly, and only
backing one, had spotted the winner of every race. Moral :
When you travel with a savant, pick his brains, and don't be
niggardly in paying for the treat. ' Who says a marked card
for one-and-six V Be in time.

That word savant brings to my recollection an occasion
when I sat at dinner next to an eminent divine, I believe
quite at the top of the geologists' handicap. At any rate, I
was told so, when I asked before dinner who the old boy was.
We had not many topics in common (funny if we had), so I
bethought me of a conversation I had been obliged to listen to
a few days before, and with an amount of nerve which you
will allow did me some credit, I boldly asked my neighbour
what in his opinion was the primary formation. (I mean, of
course, long before Adam and Eve began tailoring.) The
learned one was all there, and at once replied : ' Granite.'
Delicious ! (I had almost said silicious) ; just the very sub-
stance I had hoped he would select. I had him on toast, and
with as pitying a rejoinder as I could command, said : ' Oh
dear, no ; that could not be, as a friend of mine had seen the
impression of a leaf on a piece of granite.' The sage lit up,
and with an exclamation of ' You don't say so ! ' on his lips,
and a grateful glance at our host for having placed him next
so brilliant a scholar, he was preparing to trot me out again.
But, though I longed to crush him by giving him the identical
age of the toad that was found hibernating in the centre of a
granite boulder, I thought I had best let triumph rest with
me, and becoming stone — might have been granite — deaf on
that side, was soon in busy jest with my other neighbour.
Oh, dear me ! I was getting very clever, and I attributed
my increased intelligence to my having recently become a
grandfather.

We will leave intellectual science for the present (maybe
for good), and take a peep at the scientific activity displayed

I ATTEND A COCK-FIGHT. 321

by the gamest of the feathered tribe. One of my brothers
(who was in the 11th Infantry Regiment) was, from quite a
lad, passionately fond of game-fowls, and when quartered in
India, soon became intimate with some of the dusky potentates
who spare neither trouble nor expense in breeding and fighting
the very highest class of game-birds ; and he was soon recognized
as one of the most enthusiastic of cock-fighters. He used to
write me long letters about their doings in the cock-pits of
Lucknow, and other centres of sport, and thought nothing of
travelling a thousand miles to witness a good main and maybe
handle his own birds against those of some wealthy Rajah.
Before I got broke I used to send him, now and again, a little
present of coin, to swell his meagre pay ; and I was consider-
ably astonished, when he came home on leave, that he brought
with him to Elsham some Indian game-birds, and to learn the
value set on them by the Indian sports. The trouble he had
taken to land these birds in this country was surprising, and
yet some of the best of them had succumbed on the homeward
journey.

I noticed one old black hen particularly, and on asking if
she was of a high-class strain, he assured me that ' she was at
the very top of the pedigree-class, that no money could buy
her, in fact he would have lost caste in India had he put a
price on her. Moreover, he had been offered £20 each for
her eggs.' In my ignorance I could hardly conceive a man
being hard up who owned such a gold-mine — what do you
say 1 Well, this gem seemed to get acclimatized, and enjoyed
life with others of both sexes ; but she never laid an egg for
two years (pretty manners, very). So he decided to send her
back to her native home, and — would you believe it 1 — that
bird was so clever that, when she was taken on board the
troopship, she knew she was returning to her ancestral home,
and showed her joy by then and there laying an egg ! My
readers will be satisfied that it would be very diiUcult to set a
price on such a bird. The cross with the Indians and the
English game turned out well, and were very successful in the
pit. To look at, their Indian heads are flatter and wider than
GUI' birds, and they are broader across the back. My brother
was anxious that I should see his birds perform, so I started
off to Manchester one evening, and he wrote me, I should be
met on the railway platform at early dawn on the following
morning, by a party m the know, who would conduct me to
the rendezvous. All went well, and — after a long journey —
about noon we arrived at a railway-station in a picturesque,

y

322 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

but mountainous district. Some ten or twelve passengers,
bent on the same errand as myself, turned out quickly and
disappeared in various directions. I was told to walk up
the road till I saw a lodge, and then turn in and walk
up the drive to a gentleman's house. This I did, and
was much amused to see human heads peeping up at
various points amongst the laurels and rhododendrons. 1 was
ushered into the presence of the Squire, who told me ' he hoped
that we should have a real good main, and that he thought we
were pretty safe not to be interrupted by the police.' That
was a comfort, and I pitched into a good luncheon, which was
laid for a large party ; but I was the only one that played the
knife and fork.

According to orders, I strolled out to a cattle-yard some
little distance from the house, and enclosed by four walls,
inside which were some sheds and boxes for beasts ; under one
of these sheds some nice green turfs were laid, forming a
square ; this was the pit. From the woods on the side of the
hill some thirty or forty sportsmen presently dropped in ; the
birds were produced and the fun began. There were one or
two false alarms of the approach of the myrmidons of the law
(I must tell you that scouts were posted in various directions
to give timely warning of danger), but all went merrily till
eight or ten battles had been fought ; then, all of a sudden
the birds were thrust into bags, and these were gently pushed
into a large hole in the wall, and some straw piled over it ; the
turfs were carried away, and before I realized the situation I
found myself and a lame chap the only two men near the
place.

1 had been advised to run and hide in the woods, but I had
a heavy great-coat on, and so elected to smoke my cigar and
take stock of the cattle and horses in the field. My lame
comrade was already hobbling round a mare and foal, as if no
other object had brought him there. The pasture in which I
stood sloped down to a deep ravine, and toiling up this steep
ascent appeared three men, one being a policeman and the
other two in plain clothes. I asked the eager ' bobby ' as he
hurried towards me, whether he knew where I could find the
man that had charge of the cattle 1 and as he gasped for breath
after his severe exertions, consulted him as to the state of the
weather. My simple manner quite disarmed suspicion, and he
hurried olf to join the other two men, one of whom (I heard
afterwards) was the chief constable of the district. They all
three disappeared in the straw-yard, and after thoroughly

HOODWINKING THE RURAL CONSTABULARY. 323

searching for human malefactors and belligerent fowls without
any result, they re-appeared, well mopping their steaming brows,
and agreed with me that the view and day were both hard to
beat ; subsequently retiring, leaving the boy in blue to keep
watch.

I strolled down to the house, which appeared deserted, and,
after a parting glass, got down to the station, from whence I
took train to York, whither I was bound, for the purpose of
attending I' Anson's sale at Malton, where the relatives of
Queen Mary and her illustrious descendants were to be sold on
the morrow.

My brother wrote me afterwards that ' They brought off the
main at three in the morning inside the house.' The police
on this occasion were curiosities : they had found out that
a lot of cocks had been brought to the station in bags, and had
sent out two of their number at dawn disguised as poachers,
with spades, two dogs, and a box of ferrets. These men were
to rabbit, or pretend to be rabbiting, on the hill-side, some
distance from the house, and were to convey the necessary
information by signal to the agents of the law when the cock-
fighting began. How their plot failed I never heard ; but I
believe the two spurious poachers were squared by coin or
drink, and the other man had not sense enough to move the
natural-looking heap of straw, that concealed the courageous
factors of our illegal amusement.

I attended another main one day near a town in the eastern
counties, where everything was brought off nice and comfort-
able without any disturbance. The ' bobbies ' in the district
were cleverly and thoroughly duped, considering that two or
three mounted officers were stabled within a few yards of
where they knew the birds were waiting to be taken to the
field of battle, and, unless they could be put off the scent, the
contemplated main could not be brought off ; but, poor
' bobbies/ though keen and well-intentioned, they were easily
outwitted. There were two omnibuses in the yard of the inn
where the birds were located ; the large glass-windows of one
^bus were whitewashed, and after — apparently — considerable
caution the horses were put to, the vehicle was driven out of
the yard by a back way, and took a road due south. The
' bobbies ' in high glee let the whited 'bus get nicely on its way,
then rode after it, just keeping it in sight, so as to be able to
pounce on the law-breaking men and birds as soon as the place
for debarkation was reached. After covering some seven or
eight miles the 'bus was driven down to a likely-looking farm-

324 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

yard, and the police prepared for a grand capture ; but, poor
dears ! there was no sign of any law-breakers in or round the
premises ; and when they sternly bid the driver open the
door of the curiously-tinted vehicle, they gazed on space.

Fun for tham ; for, had they waited a few minutes longer,
they might have had the privilege of riding after the other
'bus, which, without any attempt at concealment, and with its
windows nice and bright, drove oif due north, containing
several men and birds all on pleasure bent, who were thus
enabled to enjoy a quiet and uninterrupted afternoon's sport.
I know it is my loss, but I never could get up any great
amount of enthusiasm over a cock-fight, though, for the life of
me, I can't see any great harm in it ; for it cannot make
much odds to the bird whether he is caught by the cook and
has his carotid artery severed by a knife, or whether he is
killed by the spur of his antagonist. If the bird could be
consulted, it is any odds he would much prefer the latter
arrangement, by which he would certainly have some fun for
his money ; besides, if he proved himself an adept at the game
of skill, would not only survive the conflict, but with his
shrill clarion announce his readiness to meet all comers for
many a year, to the dignified admiration of his half-dozen
devoted wives.

There are lots of sportsmen, good and true, who regularly
enjoy their favourite pastime, and only recently I was told I
could witness a first-class main of £200, and £10 or £5 each
battle, and not have to travel very far either by road or river.
One of the experts who was to handle the birds is a friend of
mine, and comes of ancient lineage, being somehow related to
that well-known traveller "William Gulliver, but he has more
eyes than that old boy.

It is funny how some intelligent folks try to make moun-
tains out of molehills, and would you believe it 1 that even the
mention, let alone the sight, of any article of underclothing
acts on their sensitive nerves as does the red cloth on the
infuriated bull 1 You will want to know what I am driving
at. Well, it was this way. You may remember that when I
was narrating my own performances on the cinder-path, I
alluded to the light and airy costume I used to run my races
in, which consisted (if no ladies were present) of a tiny pair of
drawers — made of silk — with a pattern like the plaid band
round the Scots Guards forage caps. If the fair ones were to
the fore, the same little gems were pulled over silk tights.
Well, these small coverings reposed, and do still, in one of my

MY RUNNING COSTUME OBJECTED TO. 32^

racing cups, and to the innocent amusement of my guests, I
not unfrequently produced the dapper garment, and have
never been even reproved for so doing.

At a town about fifteen miles from Elsham, I was asked by
a charming lady to come over and assist at the opening of a
Working-man's Club. I was to be sure to bring my racing
and running cups, and not to forget the dear little silken
garment which she had had the privilege of inspecting.
Accordingly I sent my cups ; and, neatly folding up the tiny
' envelopes,' I put them in my cigar-case, and hied me to the
new building I was asked to open. There were many ladies
present, and — as is my wont — I blundered through a few
sentences on the objects of the building, &c., and then,
pointing to my running cups and champion belt in the Crimea,
I dilated on the great advantage running possessed over other
athletic sports and pastimes, in so much that all my luggage
was enclosed in my cigar-case, which I produced from my
pocket, and, amidst much laughter, pulled out the little silken
gems, remarking that ' There was no delusion,' would any
lady or gentleman like to handle theml

Well, all passed olf cheerily enough, and I returned home
the following morning. At the station I bought a local paper,
and, glancing at the account of the doings of the previous
evening, to my indignation I read a letter from a local parson,
which ran thus : ' Anything more ungentlemanly than the way
in which he' (that's Astley) 'spoke of, and displayed his luggage,
I never heard, and considering that quite half his audience
w^ere ladies, he might have spared us that part of his speech.
Eor my own part — having a lady with me — the only thing to
do was to leave the hall at once.'

Poor dear innocent ' Sky Pilot ' ! I fancy he has long since
(if alive) rued the composition of that ridiculous letter. I
bided my time, for you may depend I was not going to let him
have it all his own way, as he had not only treated me, but
also my ' luggage,' with contempt ; so, on the last day of the
old year, I invested in a wire arrangement, more needed by thin
than stout ladies, and, enclosing it in a neat little parcel, sent
it off with the following note : ' liev. Sir — On the advent of a
new year I send you a modest tenpenny imjwover, and as Old
England is uj? to now a free country, I woidd suggest that tny
New Years gift he adjusted to any part of your ladys person
that you may think deficient in outline, and hope it will give you
satisfaction. You will oblige me hy not displaying this fancy
luggage before any of your male acquaintances, for fear their

326 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

sensitive ideas of decorwni may receive as rude a shock as yours
did, when the vulgar " Ba7't." had the audacity to flaunt the silken
garment {common to both sexes) which enveloped, though it did
not impede, the useful machinery which enabled him to whtfour
cups at Aldershot one afternoon in 1856, after similar triumplis
in the Crimea. — Yours, The Proud Possessor of tlie afore-
mentioned Luggage.^

Bather a pretty effusion I reckoned it, and worthy, I
thought, of the perusal of some of his parishioners, who had
doubtless read his letter, but would very likely imagine that
the ' Bart.' had taken a licking (as we put it at Eton) and
hadn't the nerve to answer their pastor's hyperbole (that's a
good Avord, ain't it ?). So I asked my friend, John Corlett, if
he thought well, to insert the incident in the Fink ' Un, and to
send me 50 copies. When I received them I sent 40 to the
care of a friend, to be judiciously distributed in the parish,
which was done, and created considerable amusement amongst
that section of my old constituents. There I imagined the
matter would end, but the following February I met one of the
congregation in the train, and he informed me with consider-
able glee that ' on St. Valentine's Day some choice spirits had
bought a stuffed canary, and had sent it, with their compli-
ments, to the parson, hoping that he would put the little dicky
bird in that pretty wire cage that Sir John was so kind as to
send him on IS^ew Year's Day.' Whether the suggestion was
acted on I never heard ; but I fancy the ' Bart.' had ample
revenge on the priest, and if I had been he I should have
carried out their hint, and hung the improver, with the
songster therein, in my front window.

327

CHAPTER XXXII.

A Little Bit about my Old Regiment — How I Evaded the Authorities and
got on Board the Troopship — ' Curly ' Knox in Command — ' The Gii-ls
We Left Behind Us ' — Stamping Letters — Fresh Trouble in Egypt in
1884 — The 2nd Battalion Ordered Out — My son, Frank, one of the
Number — Go down to Gravesend to see him off" — 1st of February, 1885
— jSTot so Cheery a Time as before— ' All's Well that Ends Well' — A
near Shave for my Lad — Capt. A. Fitzgeorge — Scotland and my Visits
there — A Few Words about Grouse-driving — My First Day with the
Grouse — Ganochy and Beaufort — My First Stalk at Beaufort — Hard
Work — Grouse-driving with Henry Saville, Duke of Beaufort — Jim
Macdonald and Sterling Crawfurd — At Longshaw with De la Rue and
W. Morris —A Funny Accident — The Peipetrator of the Deed makes
Amends — Sport at Danby — Sport at Brodick in the Island of Arran —
A Charming Place — 'Born too Soon' — The 'Duck' and I go well
together — Little Lady Mary and her Grace, both too Nimble for the
* Old 'Un ' — A Few Words on Stalking in Arran — Kindness of many
Friends towards an ' Old 'Un ' when Shooting — Sandringham — Harry
Keppel,

I THINK I ought to touch HOW a little bit on the doings of my
old regiment. England had been some thirty years clear of
war's alarms when the state of Egypt rendered it imperative
that she should look after and protect the direct waterway to
her vast possessions in the East. The first move necessarily
was with the Navy, and some of our great iron tubs were
ordered in July 1882 to roll up alongside Alexandria,^ and
pitch a few hundred tons of iron into the forts (so called) of
that miserable town. At the same time some soldiers were
sent out to help the Khedive and his native troops to catch
and punish Arabi Pasha. The 1st Battalion of Scots Guards
paraded in Wellington Barracks at 7 a.m. on Sunday, July
30th, 1882, and I had made up my mind that I would see the
last of them before they quitted the Thames ; so, shortly
before they marched off, I hurried out of barracks, and
got to the steps on Westminster Bridge, whence they were to

1 The Fleet was under the command of Admiral Sir Beauchamp Seymour
(now Lord Alcester).

328 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

be conveyed in three small river steamers to that splendid
sea-going boat, the Orient, which was lying alongside the
Albert Docks.

On arrival at the steps I was politely informed by the
police that no civilian — unless on business — was allowed to go
on board even the small steamers. I tried to coax the
friendly '■ bobbies ' to let me pass, but no go, and as I was on
the point of giving it up as a bad job, I espied a newspaper
vendor with a bundle of Observers under his arm. I quickly
bought his little lot, and again approaching the steps, ex-
plained to the ' bobbies ' that I was commissioned to take
charge of the literature under my arm, a.nd convey it on
board for the use of the officers. They then reluctantly
allowed me to descend the steps, and I quickly stowed myself
out of sight in one of the steamers. Presently I heard the
strains of the band playing that well-known, and to soldiers,
much appreciated, melody, ' The girls we left behind us.' It
seemed to me that the very same men must be playing as
when, near thirty years previously, we marched to Nine Elms
to embark for the Crimea, and I almost felt as if I was a
* wrong 'un ' not to be going out too. Well, the men soon
came clattering down the steps, and as soon as the w^ell-laden
boat was cast adrift I emerged from my hiding-place, much to
the astonishment of the commanding officer. Colonel Knox
(' Curly ' for short), and offered my newspapers to my old
comrades.

We glided down the stream and chatted merrily till we
arrived at the Docks, where the huge Orient was to be seen
towering above us. All disembarked and wended their way
to the companion-ladder of the big ship, and, though I had
got nicely in amongst the rank and file, a ruthless marine
angrily stopped my further passage, and by no mode of
expostulation, oily or bluff, could I work upon his feelings.
I sat down disconsolately upon some baulks of timber, and was
beginning to think what a fool I was not to have come down
on poor Jim Farquhar son's private steamer, when I was
roused by a splendidly got up and consequential official
shouting to me, ' What are you doing here, sir 1 No civilians
allowed here, sir.' With a dash of importance, I replied,
' Waiting to go on board, sir.' He rejoined, ' I can't have
you here. Go on board at once, sir,' and with a smile of
defiance I approached the hard-hearted marine, saying, ' You
hear what the officer says, get out of the road,' and up I
skipped and dived down to one of the officer's cabins at once.

LEAVE THE 'ORIENT' AT THE NORE. 329

and didn't emerge till I felt the powerful screw churning the
water in the basin. Then out I came, and one of the ship's
officers offered me some breakfast. Well, you can bet I was
keen for a bite, and set to with a will. We were soon out
on the bosom of old ' Father Thames,' and the deck became
alive with soldiers, officers, and men, who had now stowed
away their baggage and put on their ocean kit, and as we
looked over the side, we were soon chaffing the occupants of
Farquharson's little steamer on one hand, and H.R.H. the
Prince of Wales' boat on the other, for he had brought down
his brother the Duke of Connaught, who was also bound for
the East.

Presently the signal was given for all those who hadn't
business at Malta to leave the Orieiit, and I was left the only
civilian on board, except one of the joint-owners of the ship,
who had promised to give me a passage back from the Nore in
his steam-launch. It was curious to watch how our big ship,
with the screw going about twenty revolutions a minute, left
the small steamers — who were doing all they knew to keep up
with us — far behind, and soon afterwards they turned back,
while we dropped down to the Nore, where, as the tide did
not serve, the anchor was let go, and the huge ship swung
round, waiting till the incoming tide would enable her to
continue her voyage. My friend's little launch not appearing,
he hailed a tug, and after taking leave of the old regiment
and imbibing several parting glasses, we descended the ladder,
and the tug landed us at Gravesend. I arrived at the Turf
Club about 11.30 p.m., to the surprise of those who had last
seen me on the Orient, they having settled that I should be
carried on to Malta.

I had been intrusted with some fifty letters, which I was
enjoined to post that night, and told not to be too inquisitive
as to some of the addresses of the younger ones' epistles, but,
like a good fellow, to stamp those that needed it. Though
sorely tired, I set to and stamped all the letters that required
it ; still, I could not help being reminded by not a few of the
superscriptions of the good old tune the band had selected in
the morning, I was a bit tricky and lucky in carrying out
my resolve to see the last of the battalion that Sunday, and I
could have had any odds I didn't bring it off, and don't
believe I have seen the picture of any other man that could
have done it. Modest way of putting it, eh ! The battalion
returned home the following November, having done its duty
well, and left Egypt in a comparatively peaceful state ; but in

330 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

1884 an old fool called the Mahdi (whatever that may mean)
having sprung up and unduly excited a large number of der-
vishes, misguided Arabs, and others, England found herself
again compelled to send out troops to Suakim. This time the
2nd Battalion of Scots Guards was for duty, and one of the
officers who went out with them was my son Frank, to whom
I introduced you on his birth at Borne in 1859. He had
(after leaving Eton) joined my old regiment about 1879, and
in June 1882, married Lady Gertrude Pelham, a charming
little woman, only sister of our neighbour, the present Lord
Yarborough ; and in 1884 my first grandchild made his ap-
pearance. A smarter boy than Jack (now ten years old) I
never set eye on, nor have you !

My son was attached to the Mounted Infantry, which con-
sisted of some fifty men of each battalion of Guards, and some
few days before that fixed for embarkation, I bought and
distributed amongst the men detailed for that duty, a haversack,
a pound of ^ baccy, and a pipe each, and as I distributed these
little presents among them, I told the men to keep their eye
on ' young Astley,' and bring him back safe.

Well, the battalion paraded at Wellington Barracks (as the
first had done) on the 21st February, 1885, and this time were
taken down in small steamers to Gravesend, w^here they em-
barked on board the Pembroke Castle. I escorted my wife and
daughter-in-law by train to see the last of Frank on board.
Not half so cheery an event did I feel it as the start of the
other battalion three years before ; and, of course, it was a
real trying time for the wives of many of the officers who
embarked that day. But they, one and all, held up bravely,
and were all rewarded by welcoming home their husbands again
in the following July, when the battalion returned. My lad
had a very narrow squeak for life, for, though he had never
been sick or sorry during the short campaign, no sooner had
he embarked at Suakim to accompany the battalion to Alex-
andria, than he was struck down by fever ; and, had it not
been that he, fortunately, was put on board a return transport,
where only a few sick were placed, and therefore had the
advantage of extra careful nursing, together with the kind
attention of the commander, A. Fitzgeorge, he would never
have reached home. As it was, I never spent a more uncom-
fortable week than waiting at Southsea with his little wife for
his return. The old tub he was on board of was several days
overdue, and when at last it arrived, though rejoiced to find
Frank alive, he was terribly weak, and we got leave to take

GANOCHY AND BEAUFORT. 331

him in a gunboat straight to Netley Hospital (a first-class
institution), where he soon picked up, and don't look any the
worse ; but it was a near shave, very.

Having harked back a little to relate the doings of my old
regiment in Egypt, and said a word or two about my son
Frank, I must get forward again ; for doing so has taken us
back as far as 1882, and as a retrograde movement will not
tend to finish this book any the quicker, I will at once proceed
to another variety of sport, and one to wdiich I have not
hitherto alluded.

I have touched but little on the many enjoyable visits I have
paid in Scotland, and, to tell the truth, when I took so
vigorously to horse-racing I hardly ever found time to go
North, and trusted only to the generosity of my friends to
remind me of the 12th of August, when sending me grouse.
As that much-beloved day drew near, I used to remind those
that I knew w^ere bound for the heather, that the present year
was an extraordinary good one for bread-sauce at Elsham, but
that it was a very moderate dish by itself, although it w^ent
wonderful well with grouse — and I found the gentle hint very
productive, one year having had as many as forty brace of
grouse sent me. My first introduction to the moors was as a
lad of sixteen, when, armed with a single-barrelled gun, and
one pointer, I killed nineteen brace of grouse in Kincardine-
shire. When I grew into an Ensign I spent many a pleasant
week with various friends in the Highlands, always shooting
over dogs. Amongst those places where I enjoyed myself most
may be numbered Ganochy with Billy Peareth, and with Lord
Lovat, at Beaufort (the grandfather of the present man).

At Beaufort I was first initiated into the art of deer-stalking,
and real hard w^ork it was, for we — the party consisting of the
old lord, his son Simon, the Master of Lovat, a w^onderful hard
and keen stalker, and Alaistair Eraser (a great chum of mine in
the regiment) — used to go up to a lodge in the forest. I was
turned out at 6 a.m., and had to walk about six miles along
some Highland road, and then ascend some awful hill, and
direct my wanderings according to the w^ind, so as not to drive
the deer over the march ; in fact, it was quite on the cards
that after a two hours' struggle up-hill, my stalker would insist
on our descending by the same route : and then we had to
climb up again to another ridge to spy some other ground ;
perhaps w^e might get a shot, but it was no certainty. Often
have I had to return, tired to death, without having had half
a chance, maybe without having seen a beast worth stalking,

332 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

and after wiring into a leg of mutton and rice-pudding, turned
into a very hard, but, to a tired sportsman, a welcome bed.

I have done but little grouse -driving. My first attempt was
at Rhysworth, belonging to the late Henry Savile of Rufford,
where beside whom were the Duke of Beaufort, Jim Macdonald,
and Stirling Crawfurd, a quartette of good sportsmen and good
fellows not to be beat, the Duke being the only one left. I
wish they were all buzzing about now. On another occasion I
was lucky enough to be asked to shoot at Longshaw (the Duke
of Pvutland's) when Warren De la Rue and W. Morris rented
it, and here I met with quite a funny accident. I had been
warned by his nephew, that old Morris was a trifle dangerous,
and (like my luck) in drawing lots for places I found myself
next to him. Eut all went well on the first day till after
luncheon, when, as the butts were somewhat closer together, I
bid my loader build up the sides of my hiding-place, which was
on the right of Wicked Bill (W. Morris's pet name), a bit
higher as a precaution, and presently a large pack of grouse
came sailing along between our two butts. I let go two shots
in front and then snatched up my second gun, and turned round
to have another two shots when they had passed me (alas ! I
can't turn on my own axis as nattily as I used to) : so swinging
round, I took a pace to the rear and so got out of my hide, of
which the old boy took prompt advantage, and tickled me up
freely, putting a couple of pellets into my right cheek, and, as I
told him afterwards, he nailed me just as if I was a buck rabbit
popping his head out of a hole. However, I was none the
worse ; in fact, all the better, for he asked me to his first-rate
shooting at Wrotham in ISTorfolk, which I don't think he would
have done had he not wished to make the amende honorahle^
and in writing to accept his invite I told him he might have
another shot at me, but I must name the spot.

Twice I have had some driving on a capital little moor near
Northallerton, and Black Hambledon, leased with others by a
neighbour of ours in Lincolnshire named Cliff, a keen sports-
man. This year (1893) I shot at Danby (Lord Downe's), rented
by A. Soames, who did us right well. Armstrong, the head-
keeper, is a very quaint and clever old party. But of all the
places where grouse and deer do congregate, commend me to
Arran, the loveliest of islands, owned in its entirety by the best
of good fellows, the Duke of Hamilton, ' bless him ! ' Deary
me ! how I have enjoyed myself there ! Would that I were
younger and more lissom : for it is terribly annoying to see a
real steady good dog drawing up-hill, and, though you know,

BORN TOO SOON. 333

and would bet 40 to 1, that grouse are running in front of
that never -mistaken ' dorg,' yet your bellows and wooden old
legs often prevent your rewarding the intelligent animal by
getting within range of the birds when they rise.

Again, much the same acute sensations afflict you when,
after a couple of hours' feeble efforts at climbing some steep
hill- side, you sit down and spy, and find a real good stag
gradually feeding away from you, and perhaps realize that the
beast will very soon reach difficult ground for you to get within
range of him ; though, if you could run a few hundred yards,
you might get up to some cover, where you would be cock-sure
to get a fair shot, but, though keen as mustard, the machinery
is too antiquated to carry out the movement, and the oppor-
tunity is lost. Yet, with the indisputable fact that you were
' born too soon ' constantly recurring to your mind, and each
year more pointedly, I would sooner spend a month in Arran
than in any place I have ever known. Those of my readers
who have not been there, hurry up and see for yourselves.
You will find pleasant quarters at the hotel at Brodick, kept
by Mr. and Mrs. Macdonald, whose chief delight seems to be
to make their visitors comfortable. The first time I went to
Arran, the Duke and Duchess were entertaining a party at
Brodick Castle, and I then made the acquaintance of their little
daughter. Lady Mary, a most lovable and pretty child. We
soon became great friends, and when picking blackberries I
could fairly keep up with her ; but when invited to take a ride
I was soon left in the lurch, and I am afraid lost caste in her
young estimation.

The same want of youthful dash stood in my way when the
Duchess wanted to show me the beautiful gorge of Glen Rosa ;
but that didn't humble me so much, for she is the best mover
I ever beheld — she just can walk, her easy swing is the poetry
of motion. Now, the ' Duck ' (as I call his Grace) is more my
style, as he is terribly handicapped with the gout, and I don't
feel so cruel old when brushing the heather with him. That
year he and I drove over to the shooting-lodge the other side
of the island, a matter of some twelve miles, taking our guns
with us, and when we had driven about eight miles we found
the keepers and gillies and three brace of dogs waiting for us.
We got off the trap and shouldered our guns, while a brace of
dogs were let go, and away they dashed — delighted to get out
of the couples — over the heather ; but had not gone twenty
yards before they were suddenly brought up all of a heap, and
stood in most perfect form ; and as we walked up I saw nine

334 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

heads peeping out of the heather. In another second up got
nine grouse and down came four of them. ' How many are
there now, and where are they gone ? ' asked the Duke. ' Five,
and no that far away, yer Grace,' said old Mackenzie. And,
sure enough, when we had got round a small knoll there were
the five heads. Up the birds got and down came three, and
the same question brought the intelligence that there were
' just twa.' They also rose and met the same doom — father,
mother, and seven bairns were duly accounted for.

It did tickle me. I could not help having a hearty laugh at
the tameness of these birds, for, as the old keeper expressed it,
' they were vara accommodating.' I believe we ought to have
left the last two, in order that their pretty manners might be
handed down to their progeny ; but we didn't think of that in
time. Grouse do certainly lie better in Arran than any place
I have ever shot over. It may be because there is no driving,
all the birds being killed over dogs, and rare fun it is ; for I
must say I like seeing the dogs work. I am but a poor shot
with the rifle ; nevertheless, I do thoroughly enjoy deer-stalking
in Arran ; the wind there is never wrong, for you cannot put
the deer over the march into your neighbour's forest.

What, in this vale of tears, can be more enjoyable than after
a nine-o'clock breakfast, cooked by a first-class cAe/', each
guest gets his orders, either to go stalking or shoot. Two
start off in an Irish car some few miles, to where the keepers
and dogs are waiting for them, to shoot ; off go two other cars,
with a guest, stalker, and gillie in each, to their different
grounds ; and, lastly, the ' old 'un ' (that's me) is told he can
go where he likes. Either on foot or on a real confidential
Iceland pony (my favourite is a white one that I christened
Snowball), and attended by Peter Crawfurd — a dear old wiry
Scot, who knows every yard of the island — and a gillie, I
start as if I could hurry up the steepest of hills. But, oh
dear ! before I have been two hours on the trudge, that horrible
truism asserts itself, ' Born too soon,' and I persuade the
trusty Peter that I fancy I see a real big beast on yonder face,
with my race-glasses. Then down we sit, and Peter, pulling
out his telescope, after a searching spy, shakes his head and
says : * Yon is only a w^ee staggy, with two or three hinds.'
But I have had a rest ; and, maybe, if the day is very warm,
just a sketch of whisky with water from the burn, or I may
have to touch one of my bottles of ' soddy ' : for I make it a
rule to balance the gillie with two or three bottles of ' aerated '
in case good water is not handy when thirst is. Befreshed, I

NOT BUILT FOR CRAWLING. 335

up and plod on again, and the next time Peter's telescope is
required to verify the indistinct glimpse of my glasses, a
bonnie beast is spied, and this time (wind being right) a cigar
is lighted and a council of ways and means solemnly held.

Personally, I don't object to lying where w^e are, if the
heather is dry and soft, till the antlered monarch has fed or
moved on out of sight, and we can then advance without fear
of being seen ; but, if he is lying down with his hinds around
him, we may have to retrace our steps and advance from
another quarter. I always vote for trying any method of
approach rather than progression by ' crarling.' I don't think
I am built the right way for this style of advance ; no doubt
your head ought to be the highest part of your person, when
on all fours, but I cannot truthfully assert that mine is. I
am naturally inclined to do the ostrich trick, which bird (I
am told) when frightened buries its head in the sand, thinking,
I presume, that if it cannot see it cannot be seen. Well,
when I want to make myself invisible by ' crarling,' I am told
I carry my head too low and my — body — too high. So if the
stag w^ould crawl away on his knees and hocks, then I might
compete on my hands and knees ; but, keep on my feet I will,
if I can.

After a careful scramble the supreme moment at length
arrives. For some minutes Peter has taken to whispering — a
sure sign he believes that, when we next sight our quarry, I
shall be near enough to get a shot. Now the two cartridges
are slipped into the rifle, and, panting and breathless, I grasp
the w^eapon and peep with extreme caution through the heather
that fringes the top of the knoll that screens us from the stag.
Ah ! there he is, a grand beast lying facing us, as yet totally
unconscious of his danger ; at the same time one of his harem
looks a little uneasy, and, rising, taps the ground with one of
her fore-feet. ' Now, be ready and steady, old boy,' says I to
myself, my heart beating with excitement so loudly that I am
almost afraid the stag will hear it, and jump up and be off
endways on, before I can get a bead on him ; up gets another
hind, and the Sultan, having faith in their joint sagacity, rises
defiantly from his lair — in another instant he and his girls will
be off. There ! now he stands for a second broadside on ;
' Let him have it,' I mutter to myself, and bang, whizz goes
the bullet. I hear it hit something, but is it the stag ] Oh,
it must be, the sight and his heart were in a line when I pulled.
Confound it, he's off %

I let go the other barrel and see the bullet chuck up the

336 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

dirt to his right j ' Keep your eye on him, Peter, I couldn't
have missed him : he was such a pretty shot — not one hundred
yards oif.' ' But you have " mussed " him, Sir John, and you
couldna have had a prettier shot.' To which I rejoined : ' You
be sugared, old boy ! Look yonder : he can't keep up with
the hinds — ah ! he reels, he's down ! ' Peter admitted that he
was struck, and said, ' Ah ! you've hit him sairly.' Then with
my glasses I try to find the wound, and, sure enough, the
bullet is into his side, but a few inches too far back. We
make a slight detour, and I give him. another barrel from close
quarters, and the bonny beast turns over, while Peter, running
up, gives him the couj) cle grace ; but before the last obsequies
I bid the gillie pull out a bottle of ' soddy,' and with a dash
of whisky we each drink to the success of our stalk, and agree
that he must be near twenty stone.

The gillie, leaving the lunch with us, is sent off to get the
sleigh, so as to get the beast home at once. Peter and I
make off to the nearest spring and just about enjoy our lunch,
the lovely view over the sea to the mainland, and a good draw
at our tobacco, and by evening — when we got home — after
another stalk and a miss, we find the stag already hung up
in the larder. He weighs 20 st. 6 lbs. clean, but his head is
hardly up to his weight ; yet it will take some beating, and
the 'Duck' coming in from his day's cruise on the Thistle,
orders the head to be set up in Glasgow, and it now adorns
the hall at Elsham. Well, I say, what can be more delicious
than such a day as I have described ? Oh ! it's glorious, and
so think the others who have now returned, maybe each
having killed a stag, while the shooters bring a nice bag of
grouse and a few black game. And after a good tubbing we
all fall to and do justice to the happy efforts of the c/ie/"and
the best of ' pop ' ; then with a cigar and a taste of whisky-
and-soda, each recounts his day's sport, and all tumble into
bed and recruit our weary limbs.

If the day is so wet, or a mist hangs on the hills, rendering
stalking out of the question, we used generally to spend the
morning in the boat-house, a luxurious building on the shore ;
some wrote letters, others took a turn at the lathe, or tend
to the behest of Lady Polly. After luncheon we scatter to
different corn-fields along the sea-shore, and either wait behind
the stone walls, or get into little huts built of wood-scantling,
and covered with shocks of oats, and watch for the flight of
black game that come in to feed between three and five. Not
half bad fun either ! Sometimes with patience you may get

SHOOTING AN EXPENSIVE AMUSEMENT. 337

two old blackcock in a line, feeding on the oat-stooks, and
knock them over at a shot ; or maybe one falls, and you get
the other when rising, with your second barrel, and you have
not long to wait before another crowd come in to feed.

In one of these corn-fields, from my hide, I once counted
fifteen grouse, twelve partridges, six black game and some
grey hens, five or -six wood-pigeons, two rabbits, a small stag,
and three hinds, all feeding within one hundred yards of me ;
and whilst smoking my cigar I waited patiently till the black-
cock came up and drove the grouse ofi: the oat-stooks within
shot; then I blazed both barrels, and got a brace. As I
didn't show myself, the happy family, though all much
agitated, could not make out whence the sound came; so,
loading again, I browned into the partridges and got six.

As I said before, give me Arran, there is no possession
like it ; and though I suppose the Garden of Eden, before
Eve meddled with the apple, was a long way in front of
Hurlingham, Kanelagh, the Sweet Waters of Asia, or even
Kensington Gardens, yet it could not in my imagination
compare with the Isle of Arran for beautiful scenery. I have
never had so much shooting as during the last six years, and
the only pull I have yet discovered in getting old is that,
generally, the elderly party has the best of places assigned
him, and I verily believe I enjoy a good day's shooting as
much or more than I ever did. The worst of the sport is the
expense attending it. To a man of slender income four days
of heavy shooting means, at the very least, the extermination
of a tenner, and more often two tenners evaporate by the
time you get home. Of course, if your host won't allow
you to send for any more cartridges than you bring, but
magnanimously provides them for you, you may do it a bit
cheaper.

At Easton one year I fired away 1500 cartridges in the
first two days ; fortunately for me, one of the party went
wrong, as his head could not stand the heavy shooting, and,
as I have generally an eye to the main chance, I gently hinted
that it might not be worth his while to lug his remaining
cartridges up to London, and, like a real good fellow, he
bid his servant hand them over to my loader. That's as it
should be, ain't it? This past season (1893) I have had on
two or three occasions my cartridges supplied by my host,
in the same way that he finds me victuals and drink — a
grand idea, and much to be encouraged by those of small
means.

338 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

This last season I had nine extraordinary good days' sport,
thi'ee days in each of three consecutive weeks, and in those
nine days 10,160 pheasants fell to the gun, out of a total of
15,510 head. These were at Gunton (E. M. Mundy's), Easton
(Duke of Hamilton's), and Sudbourne (A. Heywood's) ; and
we were fortunate in not having a wet day amongst them,
and, mind you, the best of everything, not only at dinner but
at luncheon as well ; whilst last, but a long way not least,
the very pleasantest of ladies' society. I ask you, when do
the fail' sex look more bewitching, than they do after a walk
or di'ive to the luncheon-tent, when, with the ruddy colour
produced by exercise (not by the puff or brush), they welcome
you to the mid-day meal, and, that over, accompany the guns
for an hour or so in the afternoon, and, when standing by
yoiu" side, congratulate you if you are in good form, and
mildly chaff you if you are muffing your gibier. It is on
these occasions that the well-turned-out walking-costume, with
skirt short enough to prevent its draggling in the mud, treats
you to a glimpse of the well-tm-ned ankle and arched instep,
and, perchance, the well-developed limb that keeps the stockings
from wrinkling, especially if there be a muddy gateway or
slippery bank and ditch to be negotiated. I don't mention
a stile, because, of course, you get over first and look before
you till ' she ' is fairly over ; but I have known cases when,
in their eagerness to follow the gun, stout ladies have required
assistance — in one case in particular I was rendered quite
timid.

I had been told by my host to get through or over a treble
wire fence into the park from a shrubbery, and I at once,
with some difficulty, scraped through between the wires, when
my fair companion (one of the very best) essayed to follow
me, and I strolled on while she made the attempt to coax her
garments through the narrow aperture, but was roused from
my reverie by a shrill voice of agony imploring me to help,
as she could neither get backwards nor forwards. Of course
I put doAvn my gun and rushed to the fair one's assistance,
and, taking a firm grip of what / believed to be the tailor-
made skirt, I, with considerable elfort, landed its possessor in
the field ; but, instead of grateful thanks, I di'opped in for an
awful wigging : ' How dare you ! Only my husband would
be allowed to do that, &c. &c.,' and it was not till I explained
to the lady that, unless I had rescued her, she would have
been a fixture in all probability, and brought in the next
morning with the ' pick-up/ that she bui-st out laughing and

MY VISIT TO SANDRINGHAM. 3^9

lorgave me straight off. Of course I ought to have been
more j)articular in selecting the substance that I grasped.

I must now leave the ladies, pretty dears ! and try to
convey my heartfelt thanks to those many kind friends who,
year after year, are noble enough to ask me to their best
shooting ; and when it is taken into consideration that very
often I am the oldest man of the party, and, not unfrequently,
the worst shot of the lot, to say nothing of at times requiring
a pony to enable me to keep up with the other guns, doubt-
less I must be a considerable nuisance, and be taking the
place of a better man. Then, last, but not least, I have no
shooting to offer them in return, and I say with these un-
doubted and increasing drawbacks, it is really very pretty
of them to accord me a hearty welcome, and belittle my short-
comings, as they invariably do. It speaks volumes in favour
of owners and lessees of prime shooting when they stick to,
not only an ' old 'un,' but a ' broker ' as well. ' Bless 'em, all
round,' say I ; though to particularize any would be invidious,
and I don't know where I could begin where all are of the
* first water ' ; but one thing I will say : that I never enjoyed
a prettier two days' shooting than the last week of the old
year (1893), when H.R.H. was good enough to bid me visit
him at Sandringham, and if he ain't a downright kind host,
then I'll give up guessing. Dear old Sir Harry Keppel was
there too, and though a good bit past eighty, he is as playful
as a kitten; in fact, though he is Admiral of the Fleet, I
can't help calling him ' Middy,^ and one of the prettiest
compliments I ever heard paid to a brave man was, when the
most adored and admirable of her sex asked him one day :
' Do you know. Sir Harry, why we call our youngest daughter
" little Harry " V and, on his giving it up, she said : ' Because
she is devoid of fear.'

One of Sir Harry's very funny stories tickled me much.
A bluejacket had been a long time afloat, and on getting
leave one day to go ashore, he took a stroll in a beautiful
emerald-green meadow, and, whilst gloating over the lovely
(ten times lovelier to him who had been so long on the briny)
expanse of grass and wild-flowers, he suddenly became aware
that a bull, with his head down and mischief in his eye, was
charging straight for him. Jack stood his ground, and sang
out at the top of his voice : ' Bull ahoy ! lower your peak, you
lubber, or you'll be aboard of me ! ' Bull took no notice,
but promptly knocked poor Jack end over end — fortunately
without doing any great harm; and when the man-of-war's-

340 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

man rose to his feet again, he calmly, but with considerable
pride at having been correct in his theory of navigation,
holloaed out to the retiring beast : ' Yer lubber ! I told yer
how it would be ! ' and with that withering remark he left
the contemptible brute to his own reflections. But, to
thoroughly enjoy this story, you should hear Sir Harry tell
it ; he just ' do put it pretty,' I can assure you, and many
others of the same kidney.

341

CHAPTER XXXIII.

Watches that I have ' Loved and Lost ' — Some for good and all — A Tussle
at Epsom — King Street, Co vent Garden — A Family Relic— Egham Races
— Nat Langham— A Tip for Marking Uii:brellas— Mine Borrowed at
Ascot — Ananias not in it — ISTewmarket — A Night at the Barn Club —
Buy Jum]-ers — Good Advice — I Buy, or rather my Broker does — Two
Sorts of ' Brokers ' — The Professional and otherwise — Jumpers Rise —
So do my Spirits — My two Sons, Jerry and Jack— Good and Bad
Business— No Good to be done in England — Often Eight Hours a Day
for Ten Shillings a Week — Not a Living Wage— The Present Army
Examination— Why more Necessary than Formerly — A Few Words on
the Subject.

I MUST now tell you the story of my watch being borrowed,
without my leave, at the Epsom Spring Meeting, in April
1887. You must know I rather pride myself on my gold
watch, made by Barraud and Lund, of Cornhill, for it is a
wonderful bit of mechanism, and keeps extraordinary time,
and as, in the present state of my finances, I could not replace
it, I ought to be more cautious as to the company I wear it
in. Well, on the City and Suburban day, after an excellent
luncheon at the booth, I was strolling down to the paddock
to have a look at the horses, as I have done for very many
years, when I want to satisfy myself as to their condition and
general appearance (though, mind you, it didn't do me much
good when I cast my critical eye over the wretched-looking
Hermit, just before he won the Derby). However, I felt
contented with all men, and never gave a thought to the
safety of my ticker, not even buttoning my coat over my
waistcoat ; when, all of a sudden, just as I had crossed the
tan-covered road, and was not more than fifty yards from the
entrance to the paddock, three or four men, pretending to be
larking with each other, crossed in front of me, and, to my
indignation, two of them, ran right up against me. I up with
my clenched fists and asked them where they were coming
to, and whilst my arms were thus upraised, one of them
abstracted my watch from my waistcoat-pocket and twisted

342 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

the bow off. I never felt liim do it, but I did feel my wateh-
chain Hap against my tummy, and, looking down, at once
realized that my timekeeper was gone.

I made a lunge at the ruffian nearest me, but he darted
away, and I after him ; fortunately he ran into the arms of
a good chap. Mason, who held him till I got up and gripped
him by the collar, and was in the act of giving him a good
shaking and ordering him to give me back my watch, when,
with an amount of acuteness I am proud of, I observed a
hand from behind me put forward to meet the paw of the
party I had hold of, and, seeing the strange hand closed
tightly, I instantly made up my mind the digits would not
shut up so quickly unless there was something inside them ;
so, dropping the first thief, I turned round and made a grab
at number two. But he wriggled olf like an eel, and I should
never have got up to him, had he not stooped to slip under
the chains that guard the course, and as he ducked for that
purpose, I caught him one in the small of the back, sending
him sprawling on his stomach, and before he could rise I was
on top of him ; then, putting a knee each side of him, I turned
him over on his back, and with my right hand secured a good
hold of his neck, while with my left I seized his right hand,
which was so firmly clasped that I made sure my watch was
in it.

He sang out, and when I thumped his head against the turf
and bid him keep still and give up my watch, he shrieked : ' I
ain't got yer blooming watch, gov'nor ! Didn't you see me
help you ketch the man as took it 1 &c., &c.' I, with more
knowledge of the mechanism of the human frame than most
men possess (when in a hurry), raised my right knee and
pressed it on his stomach, and at once established the fact of
the sensitive sympathy existing (unknown to most of the
faculty, but which I offer to them free, gratis, for confirm-
ation) between the bread-basket of the genus homo and the
digital organs which convey the bread to the small aperture
leading to the store-room ; or, to put it more plainly, the
pressure I contrived to bring to bear on his stomach became
so painful that the thief sung out, ' Oh, don't, gov'nor ! There's
yer watch, I picked it off the grass.' As his hand opened, I
seized my ticker and put it in a safe receptacle ; but, would
you believe it ? all this time not a man lent me a helping
hand ! \Yonderful lucky they didn't help the thief, I thought ;
and, as the man tried to wrench himself clear, I was obliged
to give him a tap between the eyes to keep him quiet. At

TWO LOVELY BLACK EYES. 343

last a full-blown ' bobby ' came up, swelling with importance,
and with sparkling intelligence asked, ' What was up 1 '

I am afraid I was a little rough on him and his confreres,
and bid him get another to help him take the gentleman I
was in charge of to the lock-up, and this he was man enough
to bring off. So I followed and charged the culprit, and was
told to attend the police-court at Epsom the next morning,
which I did, you may be sure, particularly as the Super-
intendent of Police had charge of my watch. I narrated the
facts to the Bench, and the benevolent old Chairman had the
audacity to read me a lesson about taking the law into my
own hands— good idea forsooth ! He might as well have bid
me give the thief another watch, and stand him a drink ! — ■
and when I explained that had I not been nippy, my watch
would have been ticking in another man's pocket by now, the
G.O.M. pointed to the prisoner's optics (sure enough they
were 'Two lovely black eyes') and chided me for so painting
him. But on my telling him the man was inclined to be
obstreperous, and some wag remarking that ' I doubtless put
a private mark on the thief, so that I might know him again,'
the worthy beak sentenced the culprit to ' three months' hard,'
and the Superintendent returned my watch, none the worse,
excepting the loss of the bow. The police were very com-
plimentary to me afterwards, and one of considerable rank
assured me that, he had never known of a watch being
recovered that had once been passed from the snatcher to his
confederate. No doubt it was an extraordinary bit of luck
my noticing that transfer from one to the other, the while I
was busily employed shaking the party that borrowed it. I
was told afterwards that this thief was sentenced soon after
he came out of prison, to penal servitude for burglary.

This same watch had another narrow escape of losing its
fond master when I was returning from an exhibition of the
art of self-defence at a well-conducted club in King Street,
Covent Garden. It was a very cold, frosty night, and I
buttoned my fur coat over my evening dress, and adopted the
short-sighted policy of saving my cab-hire by walking home ;
but, as it turned out, I was doing the ' penny wise and pound
foolish ' trick, for I hadn't proceeded far along that badly-
lighted street. King Street, Covent Garden, before I was
asked for the ten thousandth time to stand a poor old pugilist
a bob to get a night's lodging — in plain English, to unbutton
my coat and give the party a chance of fingering my w^atch.
On my resolutely refusing, and hugging the area-railings, so

344 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

that I should only leave one side open to attack, a miscreant
shoved up from behind between me and the railings, causing
me to raise my arms for eventualities, when another man
ripped my coat open, pulling one button right off, and made
a grab at my watch-chain, giving it such a jerk that I felt
sure my watch was gone. I let go at the thief — who bolted
across the street — and slipping on the frosty roadway he came
down ; but before I could stoop to secure him, he was up and
off again, and I after him ; but he soon got into the dark
shadows of the Market House, and I gave up the chase,
blowing like a grampus. In the last depths of despair, I
thought I would ascertain how much of the chain he had left
me, feeling quite satisfied that my faithful companion was
this time gone for good, when, to my unbounded delight and
surprise, I found my watch was still in my pocket. So I
hailed a hansom at once, and drove to my club, where I dis-
covered that my well-worn waistcoat had baulked the thief,
for the violent jerk he gave my chain tore the pocket and
prevented my watch slipping out, as it would have done to a
certainty had I been clothed in my Sunday best. Deary me !
I have seldom felt more relieved and thankful, and was obliged
to order a B. and S. to celebrate my faithful ticker's second
escape from perdition. Now I am content to pay for a ride
home, instead of walking, being convinced it's the cheapest
mode of locomotion in the long run, when east of Leicester
Square at night.

I fear I may weary my readers somewhat re my present
watch's escapes, but, though up to now that identical ticker
has always come home to tea, yet I am obliged to admit I was
eased of two moderate timekeepers before I arrived at my
best (that is this side of fifty). In both instances I never
missed my property till some time after they had left my
pocket ; so that no effort of genius or biceps on my part could
recall them. The fii^st that quitted my person unawares was
during an exciting 10-mile foot-race at Copenhagen Fields
(now the site of the large cattle-market), when I was backing
' Ducky ' Grantham against Levett, and I have already related
this episode.

Having replaced that departed watch with an old gold one
that had been in the family for some time, I one day attended
Egham races — then a pleasant day's out — on the famous
Bunnymede, and either on my way to, or return from
luncheon on a coach, the family one was appropriated, and I
didn't miss it till some ribald friend roguishly asked me the

A DODGE ABOUT UMBRELLAS. 345

time of day. Of course when I, with finished politeness, felt
for my ticker, it was absent, my chain was hanging loose,
and I was subjected subsequently to much badinage at my
good-nature in parting with a family relic. This time I
thought I would try the quiet and confidential trick, and at
once sought out my honourable friend, Nat Langham (the
only man who ever licked the renowned Tom Sayers fair and
square), and on telling the redoubtable one of my loss, and
that I would give a fiver for it back and ask no questions,
' ould ISTat ' went off on the quest, but shortly returned to ask
me ' what colour it was.' I said it was a yellow (gold) one ;
so off he went again, and on his return, with a comical smile
on his well-battered frontis23iece, he thus spake : 'It's a good
job, capting, it's a yellow one ; I think I shall be able to get
it back for yer, but you would have stood no chance if it had
been a white one, for they've got the best jDart of three bushels
of them white (silver) tickers. They just have had a haul,
and no mistake, and they are half-way back to London by
now.' But I never heard any more of it ; so, as I said before,
borrowed watches don't always come home to tea, even though
they would receive a hearty welcome and be better cared for.

I have twice had my favourite umbrella borrowed. Once
it was during a wet day at Ascot, years ago. I had carefully
selected a nice place to leave my gingham in the iron stand
whilst I watched a race through my glasses, and, the race
over, I sought my old friend, as it was raining hard ; but it
was gone. Now, I must put you up to a wrinkle, if you don't
know the dodge already. It was told me by a very intelligent
old chum : always mark your umbrella at the end next the
ferrule, not at the handle, for the thief will erase or get rid of
the identifying mark (if he can see it) as quickly as he can,
and then challenge you to swear to your property — though I
could always swear to my umbrellas, because I cut the sticks
myself, selecting some ash-plant peculiarly curved for a
handle. But if you buy an ordinary-handled umbrella it is
often difficult to identify them, unless marked somewhere ; so,
take my tip, and mark it at the end near the ferrule.

Well, my gingham was non est ; so I surveyed the sea of
umbrellas, all fully expanded, in the ring below, and, seeing
one I felt pretty sure was mine, I descended, and politely
informed the party that was in possession, that he had made
a mistake, as he had hold of mine. He indignantly denied my
claim, and stated, with unabashed effrontery, when and where
he had purchased it. I fairly kept my temper ; but told him

346 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

one of us must be within a few pounds of Ananias, for I
would swear the umbrella he had in his hands was mine, and
I meant having it, and that quickly, as I was bound for the
paddock. After a few more heated expressions had passed, I
told him my umbrella-stick had my initials, J. D. A., marked
on it ; with great triumph he at once said, * Show me your
initials, sir, there are none here ' (thereby convincing me he
had already looked for any marks worth erasing) ; ' there's the
handle, sir, now show me your initials.' I had him on toast,
and told him I would at once prove him a thief and a liar,
and seizing the handle I shut it up, and, turning up the other
end, asked him whether I had not rightly described him, for
there was J. D. A., and no mistake, deeply cut with my own
knife. He, of course, was fairly shut up ; but I opened my
own umbrella, and left for the paddock.

On another occasion at Newmarket I was riding my cob on
the Bury Hills, and had been holding my umbrella over me
as it was pelting with rain. As soon as the rain ceased I put
down my umbrella, and, not caring to carry it in its soaked
state, I stuck it in the ground near a post, and cantered away
to look at some horse or another a little distance off ; but
presently returning for my gingham, before going home to
breakfast, I found it gone, and, casting my eagle glance
around, I spied a party in seedy clothes walking down towards
the town with an umbrella in his hand. So I cantered after
him on the off-chance, and, as I approached, I saw that he
was carrying my gingham ; so I asked him if he had seen
anything of an umbrella stuck in the ground^ But he
declared he hadn't, that the one he had in his hand was his
own. I asked him to let me have a look at it, and, seeing he
had no chance of getting away, he handed it to me, when,
cantering my good old cob (who could turn round a tea-cup), I
belaboured the would-be thief across his shoulders with so
much energy that I broke the stick over him — which annoyed
me much, as I could not use it till I got another stick to put
in the umbrella. The man ceased yelling and, I fear, enjoyed
my discomfiture not a little ; all the same I fancy he will not
meddle with strange umbrellas for a while. Of course it
rained most of that day, and I wished I had rewarded the
rascal for carrying my property instead of trying to reform
his thievish disposition.

When one is short of the ready it's one's bounden duty, I
consider, to try by all honest means to obtain a supply of the
needful. My readers may have gathered from my racing

I GO IN FOR JUMPERS. 347

notes that I often employed, and even now in a very small
way still employ, any cash I can command in improving my
dilapidated exchequer ; but my only gamble in the City was
a few years ago, and amused some of my friends not a little.
One night when enjoying a concert at the Barn Club (an off-
shoot from the late Pelican, where most of the best birds do
now congregate) I chanced to be sitting next a good sort, who
I knew was well informed as to the ups and downs of the
Gold Mines in the Transvaal, and, wishing to do me a turn, he
told me confidentially that he knew of a real good spec, if I
had any cash to invest ; finishing up by urging me to buy
' Jumpers ' freely, and at once. I got a bit mixed by the
word Jumpers, and told him I had long given up owning
either flat or jump horses, but that I hoped to be able to pick
out the winner of the Grand I^ational when the weiafhts
appeared ; although I didn't intend touching any jumpers till
then. ' No, no,' said he, ' I mean you must buy shares in the
Jumpers Gold Mine, as I know for certain they will yield a
quick return by becoming more valuable within this week,
and I will wire you when to sell and realize a nice profit.'
' Good heavens ! ' I said, ' it is very pretty of you wishing me
to invest, but it's a ready-money job, ain't if? and that's an
article I'm wonderfully short of.' ' Oh, that don't matter,' he
replied, ' you won't have to post any money ; and as these
shares are certain to rise, please oblige me by buying five
hundred Jumpers to-morrow, early. Go down to some broker
you know and simply tell him to buy for you.'

' Well,' I said, ' I am going down to shoot in iSTorfolk to-
morrow, and on my way to Liverpool Street Station I will call
in and see a friend of mine, a good sportsman, and run him a
trial ; but mind you wire me (the sooner the better) when I
am to sell out.' Accordingly the following morning I started
off in good time for the station, and pulling up in Threadneedle
Street, I dropped into the oflice of a good friend of mine, who
did a large business. My pal was not in, but would be
shortly ; so I explained to his partner what I wanted. He is
a good chap, very, but a trifle on the cautious side, and told
me, of course, they would be glad to do business for me, but
necessarily they would require cover. Oh, lor' ! I knew it.

Now, I had with me a covert coat, and I was going to shoot
coverts, but cover I had none (and couldn't guess when I
should). I had nearly made up my mind to give up Jumpers,
when in came the Lion-hearted one, and I appealed to him to
buv me five hundred Jumpers, assuring him there was no risk.

348 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

as they were cock-sure to go up, and I should wire to be out
before they came down (very much after the movement of an
equine jumper). 'Well/ said he, 'it's rather unusual for a
hroher, as you say you are, to ask a broker, as I am by pro-
fession, to buy you five hundred Jumpers ; which, according
to your showing, are at 2^ to 3 premium. That means a risk
of well over a thousand pounds if they collapse.' I said, ' They
are as certain to rise as is the morning sun, so be a man, buy
me some, and invest in a good lot for yourself, and blame me
(such a solace I always think !) if they ain't good goods.
Now I must be olf for the train, what do you say '? ' ' Well,
all right, old boy, I will send out and buy you one hundred
Jumpers.' ' Good luck to you ! ' said I, ' and mind you sell
sharp when I wire you, and send along a cheque for the
balance, for I w^ant the ready bad.' ' Right you are,' he
replied, and off I went.

I duly arrived at my shooting-quarters, and, of course,
made my friends acquainted with my venture, and on the
third day's shoot, a telegram was brought to me at luncheon
time : ' Sell Jumpers and buy Honolulus,' or some such rubbish.
Not me, I had chanced Jumpers, but had no feeling to invest
the profit. I only wanted to touch the ready ; for, mind you,
Jumpers were quoted in that morning's paper at 5 premium.
So I wired off to my trusty friend : ' Sell Jumpers sharp, and
send cheque quick.' The next morning, just as I was in a
tangle as to how I should properly reward the keepers, loader,
et hoc genus omne, let alone the extra thousand cartridges I
had ordered at a neighbouring town, the post arrived and I
handled with delight a City letter that evidently contained
more than one sheet of paper, and, to the amazement of my
companions at the breakfast-table, executed a ^^as seul round
the room, and with reason, for my tangle was over, and a
cheque for £50 made me feel extraordinary rich. My word !
how I doted on ' Jumpers ' — good old ' Jumpers ' ! I hurried
off a line of thanks to my kind informant, and another to my
good-natured broker, and, as yet, have never risked another
fraction on any good City spec, or coaxed a City man to stand
me cover. Need I say. Jumpers fell, and have never ' jumped '
so well since.

Those gold-mines around Johannesburg are very difiicult to
understand. I never took any interest in them until three
years ago, when my second son, ' Jerry,' was offered a billet in
the New Primrose Company, and as he was keen to work at
something, and I heard it was a splendid climate, I bought

A WORD ABOUT JOHANNESBURG. 349

him a kit and went down with him to Dartmouth, wlience I
saw him off to the Cape, and he has never rued the day he
went out, but writes constantly home in the best of spirits.
He gets something under four hundred a year, with a good
prospect of doubHng it — more than he could have earned in
this country by a very long way ; and, with luck and health,
may be a rich man by the time he is thirty (he is twenty-two
now). There is no mistake about the climate being very
healthy, and the only drawback I can discover, seems to be
the dust-storms, which in the dry weather are often very
annoying.

It is wonderful wdth what rapidity (six years) Johannesburg
has grown into a large city. In maps of ten years ago you
cannot find the site of it marked, i^ow it contains about
40,000 inhabitants, and the output of South African gold
(Randt district) for 1893 was 1,478,473 ounces. Johannesburg
has a railway connecting it with Cape Town ; but what puzzles
me is that, for the last twelve months the shares of these gold-
mines—though their output of gold increases month by month
— don't rise in value, but rather fall, and this, too, in spite of
the full length of .the railway from Cape Town to Johannes-
burg having been completed last year ; so that imports and
exports can be conveyed to and fro with speed and certainty,
instead of with much delay and uncertainty, as was the case
when everything had to be dragged there in bullock-carts, or
heavy stage-coaches, over execrable tracks, and across torrents
and rivers which every fall of rain rendered impassable. This
is more than 'any fellah can understand.'

I said just now that my son Gerald earned more in the
Transvaal than he could here. I will just enlighten some of
my readers, who may not be in the know, what a well-con-
ducted, well-mannered, honest and honourable young man is
offered in this vast city of London. I ain't guessing, because
my third boy. Jack, through kind interest of a friend, was
fortunate enough (save the mark !) to be allowed to give his
services in a large and rich Insurance Office, not far from the
Bank of England, from 9.30 a.m. to 4 (and often 6) p.m. all
the year round, barring a fortnight's holiday, for the magnifi-
cent salary of twenty-five pounds a year (about ten shillings a
week), and find himself. Can there be worse drudgery than
that 1 I trow not ; it would have soon settled my lad, that I
do know. However, I was not long in taking him off that
stool, and he will soon be off to Ceylon, where the best of
climates and a pleasant outdoor occupation await him. All

350 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

the same, it is a nasty wrench to send one's sons so many
thousand miles away, when I am hurrying towards the three-
score and ten limit, and may, therefore, be popped into the
cremating-pot before they come home again.

On the other hand, what can a lad do now-a-days in England
to earn an honest living, if he has not great interest to jDush
him forward, or a profound knowledge of Euclid and Trigo-
nometry, sufficient to fit him for the present humbugging
examination considered necessary, before he can adopt the
army as a profession 1 As it is, if he don't revel in the ^;o?is
asinorum, it is no earthly use his being good at athletics,
plucky, and a high-minded gentleman — qualities which used
formerly to be considered essential to the making of a good
soldier, but are now only of secondary value to a superior
' Board School ' education.

35?-

CHAPTER XXXIY.

Am invited to lay out a Eace-course in Hamilton Park— Mr. D. and the
Duke of Portland (?)— Horses with One-sid^^d Mouths — My Opinion of
the Cause— Different Methods of Treatment— Cruel Practice of many
Veterinary Surgeons — Professor Loffler's Method Exemplified— An
Account of the Way the Operation of Filing the Teeth is carried out —
Jockeys and Stable-lads at Newmarket— The Stablemen's Institute-
Absurd Prejudices of some Trainers— My Efibrts to obtain Subscrip-
tions—Land Presented by Lady Wallace— A Word about the Rous
Hospital and Almshouses — The Sources from which their Cost is
Defrayed —Nothing of the Kind to assist the Institute — Description of
the Building and its Object.

It was in the year 1887, I was asked by some sportsmen in
Glasgow to lay out a race-course and organize a race-meeting
in Hamilton Palace Park, which is about ten miles by road
or rail from that large and commercially rich city on the
Clyde. The promoters had obtained leave to fence off part of
the fine Park — out of sight of the Palace — and lease it for
sporting purposes ; and a better situation for a race-course
could hardly be conceived — fine old turf requiring very little
levelling, with a straight run in of five furlongs. The course
was one mile in circumference, the Park being bovmded on
one side by the Clyde, and on the other by a substantial high
wall.

The good Duke gave me permission to put up at the Palace,
perhaps the finest structure of its kind in Great Britain, where
a dear old housekeeper, who was as clever a cook as one need
wish to see, was always pleased to make one comfortable.
Within a radius of ten miles there is a population of one
million, and one would have thought that the venture would
have drawn vast crowds of sportsmen eager to witness the
racing, combined with the privilege of enjoying the picturesque
surroundings of the Park. But, unlike the dwellers south of
the Border, the Northerners don't really care (as a nation) for
horse-racing, and the large outlay has not as yet brought in a

352 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

profitable return ; for never more than twelve thousand people
have attended the races on any one day. However, as one
interested, I have not yet given up the hope that Glasgow will
send a larger proportion of its population to Hamilton Park,
on the not unfrequent holidays they have set apart each year.
Comfortable and commodious stands, a perfect paddock, and
an undeniably sound, well-laid-out course, in such a Park —
were it only ten miles from London — would indeed be a gold-
mine, and no error.

Well, it was during the fii^st year of the new race-course,
that the great Glasgow Exhibition was opened by the Prince
and Princess of Wales, and a grand and imposing ceremony it
was. It w^as during this same week those sportsmen interested
in the new race-course celebrated their inaugural dinner in
the large dining-saloon in the Exhibition building, and thereby
hangs rather a funny tale. Marky Beresford, as starter, and I,
as chairman, attended the race-meeting, and were invited to
join some thirty others at this inaugural dinner. As I was
walking into the saloon to take my place, I spotted at a side-
table an old friend, who had many good points, but one
unfortunate failing, and that was not entirely unconnected
with a too keen appreciation of strong drinks. I, of course,
went and shook hands with him, but quickly discovered that
he had, for company's sake I presume, partaken of as much
liquor as he could carry. He besought me to use my per-
suasive powers to induce the waiter to bring him just one
more glass of green Chartreuse ; but I told him I thought he
had had plenty, and, as the fireworks in the Exhibition
grounds were just then commencing, I tried to persuade him
to inhale the ozone of the outer air, rather than imbibe any
more strong waters ; but, finding I could not prevail, I joined
my companions at the festive board.

We soon finished our repast, and were just enjoying our
cup of coffee, before going out to the beautifully-illuminated
grounds, and various amusements in the gardens, when up
came my friend of the side-table with a somewhat unsteady
gait, and wanted to sit down, with the object of getting hold
of at least one glass of his favourite green Chartreuse. But
this I could not permit, and, to awe him into submission as
well as to induce him not to force his presence on our private
party, I said : ' If you will promise to leave us and go into the
gardens, I will introduce you to the Duke of Portland.'
'Where is heV quoth he. ' Y'our Grace,' I said, giving
Marky Beresford a dig in the ribs, to prepare him for the

A PRACTICAL JOKE. 353

part I wished him to play, ' I am sure you won't mind my
introducing you to a neighbour of yours in the country, Mr.
" Drunky," and, as you are both good sportsmen, you ought
to know each other.' Marky took up the cue right well, and,
bowing with patronizing and Duke-like grace, said he was
only too pleased to have, the ojDportunity of making the
acquaintance of one he had heard so much of, but as yet had
never had the satisfaction of meeting.

Mr. ' Drunky ' bowed, as well as he knew how — though not
without a great effort did he succeed in keeping his knees off
the floor — in humble obeisance to his highly-esteemed neigh-
bour, and declared, with an occasional hiccup, that the proudest
moment of his life had at length arrived, and his most ardent
wish gratified. ' Don't mention it, my dear sir,' put in Marky.
* I hope we may soon become fast friends ; now tell me, where
do you stay for Doncaster Races V 'I always stop in the
town, your Grace, with the same party of friends,' replied Mr.
' Drunky.' ' Ah ! but this year you must throw them over,
dear Mr. " Drunky," you really must, and come and stay with
me at Welbeck. I always manage to get together a cheery
party for that week, and I shall be charmed if you will come.
I always have a sj)ecial train there and back, and I hope you
wdll thoroughly enjoy yourself.' Overwhelmed with a flood
of gratitude, and the not yet extinct fumes of the green
Chartreuse, Mr. ' Drunky,' with a broken voice and unsteady

utterance, assured his Grace he was too good, but ' No,

no, never mind ; I know what you are going to say. I'll
brook no denial. You come the Monday before Doncaster — I
shall expect you ; and you shall receive a hearty welcome. I
hope, also, that my chef will succeed in his efl^orts to please
you ; and, above all, I can promise you, what I am sure you
highly appreciate, the best my cellar can afford, and (ah ! I
observe your eyes twinkle) plenty of it, old boy. Now, that's
arranged.'

I don't know that I ever laughed more heartily in my born
days, and so would you if you had heard the fluent and cordial
invitation of the one, and observed the liquor-begotten effusive
gratitude of the other. Our party broke up, and we saw no
more of Mr. ' Drunky ' that night. But I have not done with
the peculiar one yet ; for, shortly after the above incident, I
got a letter from the real Duke of Portland, enclosing one he
had received from Mr. ' Drunky,' in which letter he thus
expressed himself : * / cannot he too grateful to your Grace for
the very kind and cordial invitation you were good enough to

A A

354 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

accord tne, last week, at the Glasgow Exhibition, and hoi^e thai
you did not think me wanting in courtesy. But, the rough ivay
in which the matter-of-fact old Mate i7itroduced me to you, so
U2')set me, that I feel I ought to apologize for any annoyance I
may have unintentionally caused you. With the greatest resjject,
<&;c. ti&c' The Duke read between the lines that I had been up
to some game or another, and answered Mr. ' Drunky's' letter,
saying he must be labouring under some misapprehension, as
he had never been to Glasgow in his life, so could not have
met him there.

Of course I made it all right with the Duke, but the un-
fortunate victim of the joke would not believe he had been
duped, and possibly never would, had he not been travelling
by the Great Northern to Doncaster on the evening before the
race-meeting. Then, as luck would have it, he rode in the
same carriage as four other sportsmen, to whom he was
unknown ; and one of them, Mr. ' Sugar,' to amuse his friends,
told them the story as it had been narrated to him. During
the temporary absence of Mr. ' Drunky,' who, doubtless, had
sought oblivion in a glass, one of the party discovered— by the
name on his travelling-bag — that the unknown was no other
than the identical victim of the joke. Poor ' Drunky ' ! ho
must have had a mauvais quart dlieure, as he was obliged to
listen, if not to join in the boisterous mirth evoked at his
own expense, and then for the first time realized what an ass
he had made of himself.

I had no sooner arrived on the course at Doncaster the
following morning, than ' Sugar ' informed me how he had
unwittingly shown me up, and that I might expect to have
my head broken by the wrathful Mr. ' Drunky.' Whilst I
was standing in the paddock shortly afterwards, talking to
some friends, I spied the green Chartreuse devotee, advancing
with determined mien and rapid strides towards me, apparently
thirsting for my blood. But when he got within a few yards
of me, he suddenly broke into a peal of laughter, and, holding
out his hand, freely admitted that I and Marky had fairly
bested him. So the lion took a friendly glass with the lamb,
and vowed eternal friendship.

There are other funny stories about the sportive Mr.
* Drunky,' but you have had a sufficient dose of him already.
To vary the scene a bit, let us return to the equine species,
and study the different modes of treatment they are subjected
to by the intelligent professor with nerve, and the blundering
vet. who has lost what little nerve he ever possessed. In

ABOUT HORSES' MOUTHS. 355

every string of racehorses, when at exercise, you may observe
how differently some horses carry their heads to what others
do. We will place ourselves on the Lime-kilns gallop at
Newmarket on a fine bright morning, and watch the sheeted
racers walk listlessly down to the limit of that beautiful
galloping-ground, accompanied by the head lad, who has
received from his master — the trainer — orders of the distance
and pace each horse is to canter or gallop, to the spot he
selects to await their approach, as he sits on his well-trained
hack.

Of course we all know that out of thirty horses now turning
to go up the gallop, no two horses have precisely the same
dispositions, and we will say six three year-olds are now
galloping at three-parts speed up the six-furlong track. Some
jump off and pull hard at their riders, and will not cease
pulling till they begin to tire ; others, hating the task set
them, don't half take hold of their bits, and require kicking
and cuffing all the way. All have snaffle-bits in their mouths,
and, maybe, much the same class of riders on their backs ;
but what I want to call your attention to is the peculiar way
some of these horses hold their heads, not so much high or
low, but with their jaws twisted round to one side or the
other, almost giving you the idea they wish to savage the
horse next them. The lads riding, often keep drawing the
snaffle quickly through their mouths, thinking, by so doing,
they will get their respective horses to carry their heads
straight, but in reality inflicting in many cases great pain on
the tender gums or ulcerated inner side of the animal's cheeks,
and if the interested owner asks what is the reason his pet
horse carries his head in such a hideous and uncomfortable
fashion, he is told, ' I can't make it out ; he used not to do it,
but lately he seems to have got a one-sided mouth.'

Fools ! and slow to believe what that most intelligent of
horse-dentists. Professor Loffler, has vainly insisted on for
many years — viz., that the animal so carrying his head has a
sore place on his cheek or jaw, caused by the too sharp edges
of the large back teeth, the pain of which is much aggravated
by the rider sawing at his horse's mouth with the snaffle. I
can fancy I hear some self-opinionated horsey reader exclaim,
' What rot ! ' Well, let that party skip the next page or two
and remain an idiot, and presently, when he has got the pieces
down on his horse because he makes out he has some ten
pounds in hand, he will, perhaps, be horrified to observe that,
after two or three false starts, his usually quiet nag has gone

356 FIFTY YEARS OF MY Lli^E.

nearly mad, and is careering over tlie Heath, with his little
jockey pulling at him with all his might, the while he saws
the snaffle backw^ards and forwards through his mouth, thereby
causing excruciating pain to the poor beast, whose teeth have
been neglected, or perhaps filed, by an ignoramus.

Now, please bear with me, whilst I try to describe the
sensible and sensitive treatment of Loffler, as compared with
the stupid and cruel practice of some vets. We will call the
horse Peter. Now, Peter, who has been feeding right well,
and never leaving an oat or a bean, gradually goes oif his feed.
He begins by leaving a double handful of food in his manger,
and finishes by poking the choice delicacies set before him fromi
one side of the trough to the other, perhaps bolting a mouthful
now and again, but not masticating his food. ' Maybe it's his
teeth, master ? ' says the head lad. ' Go and tell the vet. to
come,' says the trainer. That worthy arrives with several
huge, coarse files, with wide iron faces fastened into long
wooden handles. The unfortunate horse is brought round and
firmly fixed on the pillar-reins, taken up as short as they will
go ; then that horribly cruel invention, the twitch, is brought,
and twisted as tightly round the poor brute's tender upper lip
as the biceps of the helper and the strength of the cord can
tw^ist it ; maybe one of the animal's fore-legs are held up by
another assistant. Then the 'plucky' vet., clutching tight
hold of his largest and roughest file with both hands, shoves it
laterally into the horse's mouth and rapidly pushes it up and
down, as long as he has wind enough to do so ; or till, alarmed
by the quantity of blood flowing from poor Peter's mouth, the
unfeeling idiot draws out the weapon, and oracularly declares,
* That's done 'em, them old teeth won't trouble him any more
yet a while. The horse won't eat for a few days, but you
needn't take any notice of that : shouldn't w^onder if his gums
ain't a bit sore ; ' and poor Peter, sweating with fright and
pain, is allowed to swing round to his manger and subsist on
linseed mash and soft food, till the running sores, caused by
the file, have healed over.

But let's watch Loffler' s mode of proceeding. He also brings
with him two or three files, beautifully made and highly polished.
He puts them in a bucket of clean water, pulls up his shirt-
sleeves, and bids the lad looking after Peter take his head-
collar off ; then he pushes the horse sideways from him a few
times, till the horse, realizing that no mischief is meant,
resigns himself to his visitor. Loffler then, standing with his
hack pressed against the horse's flank, bids him come round,

PROFESSOR LOFFLER'S PLAN. 357

and thougli at first he may object and look nasty, he soon
obeys, and Loffler puts one hand in his mouth and gently holds
his tongue, while he passes the other hand, with outstretched
forefinger, down the outside edge of Peter's back teeth, and at
once detects the razor-like edge of one or more of them, as well
as the sloughing sore on the inside of the cheek, caused by the
sharp edge of the teeth, and the before-mentioned sawing of
the snafile. On one occasion Loffler asked me to put my fore-
finger up the side of the real Peter's back teeth, and when I
withdrew it I firmly expected to find it cut, the edge feeling to
me as sharp as any knife. By this time Peter has every
confidence in his dentist, and he actually pokes out his nose as
if courting the use of the file.

Loffler next proceeds to take a pretty little file out of the
bucket, passes it two or three times into the horse's mouth to
convince him there is no malice, and then, holding the short
handle with one hand, he passes the other, with the blade of the
file in it, between the teeth and the cheek, so conducting the
rough face of the instrument on to the very spot requiring
filing, and gently moves it up and down, all the time making
sure with his forefinger that the file is grating against the
sharp edge he wishes to smooth, and assuring himself that it
does not touch the gum. In tln-ee minutes the operation is
over, and the horse is allowed to turn round to his manger, and
he starts eating with evident satisfaction — the very food he
could not touch before. No twitch is used, no blood is drawn,
Peter is not the least put out, and his confidence in man is
increased tenfold. Loffler then washes his file, puts on his
coat, and calmly remarks what sensible, docile animals horses
are when kindly treated, and is ready to go up to any horse in
the stable, no matter what his character, without even his
head-collar on.

Now, ain't there a wide dilf erence in the two professors and
their treatment of the equine species ? We all know how
uncomfortable it is to accidentally bite one's own cheek, and
thereby set up a temporary sore ; but how much more painful
would it be if your sore cheek were roughly rubbed against
your teeth — even if they had not sharp edges ! And, surely,
all can enter into the feelings of a horse who, suffering great
pain from being constantly jobbed in the mouth by his rider,
is quite unable to masticate his corn, even though he may be
as hungry as a hawk. He also gets the credit of having a
one-sided mouth or being given to bolting, and all from this
cause. All those really fond of horses will excuse me for

358 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

having dwelt so long on this topic. It is not a fad of mine,
for it is well known to those who have to do with the animal
how many horses, particularly racehorses, do suffer from their
teeth, and how seldom the mouth is examined at all in a racing-
stable. When the vet. is called in to look at a horse's mouth,
it is nine times out of ten — eh ! nineteen out of twenty —
because the animal don't masticate his corn; and but few
owners or trainers connect an awkward mouth with a state of
the teeth, but are content to believe that the horse's mouth
was neglected in breaking, or to put down to temper the fact
of his not going straight or bolting.

In hunting-stables sore gums and cheeks do not so often
exist as in racing-stables, simply because it is but rarely a
snaffle-bridle is put on a hunter that pulls hard, and, therefore,
it is only when the w^atering-bridle is used for exercise that
the sawing process can be practised, and that very seldom;
but a light-hearted racehorse, with a light-weighted rider, is
subject to it most days at exercise, and pretty w^ell every time
there is a false start on the race-course. Talking of light-
weight lads and their manner of steering their horses at
exercise, let us tui^n for a moment to consider whence so many
little lads are obtained, and how they are lixed when employed
in racing-stables. I feel sm^e there is hardly any town in
Great Britain where there are so many diminutive specimens
of humanity employed as at Newmarket, and a wonderful
intelligent lot they are. As most of these boys are far
removed from their parents and relations, they have an especial
claim on the sympathy and kind feeling of those they work
for, or who are interested in the horses they look after ; and,
though I am a firm believer in the merits of the ash-plant,
when applied with judgment and moderation, either to a
stubborn, pig-headed horse or to a lying or obstinate lad, yet,
in both cases, in nine times out of ten, kind treatment does
more good than rough and violent measures.

As I believe and hope that many of my readers are amongst
those who subscribed so generously to the building of the
Institute (now in full swing) intended for the benetit of the
men and lads in charge of racehorses or studs in and around
Newmarket, you won't mind my alluding to it here. I col-
lected about £2500 out of the £3000 subscribed for the erection
of that building, and was accorded a certain amount of
kudos for the nippy way I was always alongside a rich owner
so soon as his horse's number was up as the winner of a good
stake. Nothing like tapping ^em when the first flush of

THE NEWMARKET INSTITUTE. 359

victory warms tlieir hearts ; nevertheless, it is expedient some-
times to suggest to the owner of a good favourite for a big
race, before it comes off, that if his horse wins he should
subscribe a certain percentage of his winnings to the good
cause. This he is generally willing enough to do, just to bring
him 'luck like.' At the same time I will own that there are
many that have helped us who have not had any luck, and
many more who have not a horse at all — the more credit to
them. Now, I hold it must be a good thing for the stable-lads
to have a comfortable, well-contrived building where they can
enjoy various games, and a quiet room where those so disposed
can read without interruption ; besides which, since the open-
ing of the Institute (which ceremony was performed, with his
well-known kindness of heart, by H.R.H. the Prince of Wales
last July) there have been concerts held in the large hall,
which the lads much appreciate, and these we hope to continue.

It is curious how some of the trainers crab this Institute.
They try and make out that it brings the lads together to talk
over the chances of the horses under their charge for some of
the big races, just as if they could not, or did not, do that in
many a tap-room or billiard-room in the town, before there
was any Institute for them. At all events, the most preju-
diced must acknowledge that it is better for the lads to talk in
a building open only to themselves, and where they have no
chance of meeting any of the numerous touts and horse-
w^atchers who constantly waylay and ' treat ' them, for the
sake of getting information which they have no right to
divulge. Of course, there are many lads still who prefer a
snug tap-room where a glass of beer or tawny port, and the
present of a cigar (probably home-made) is at their disposal, if
they will only enlighten the donor as to the likelihood of the
horse they are in charge of standing a preparation or not, or
whether their horse is off his feed, &c. &c. All I know is that
there are hundreds of stable-lads who frequent the Institute
now, who, before it was built, had no other place to go to,
where they could enjoy any sort of game, except the ' pubs '
in the town, where the company, to put it mildly, was some-
what mixed.

If any of my readers feel inclined to help the Institute they
will do so best by subscribing to the annual expense of keeping
it up, or sending presents of books to better furnish the
library. It is not generally known that there are some fifteen
hundred men and lads employed in looking after horses in and
ground Newmarket; and as the great majority come from

36o FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

distant parts, and are mainly selected on account of tlieir
small stature and consequent aptitude for riding as light
weights, they necessarily require some sort of protection and
looking after. I have never seen a brighter or more intelli-
gent, cleanly lot of faces than I have noticed amongst these
Newmarket lads, when some hundreds of them have congre-
gated together in the Institute on the occasion of a concert ;
and I feel sure that none will accuse me of exaggeration, if
they will come and judge for themselves at any of the series
of concerts we (the managers) intend to organize during the
race weeks.

Here I ought to mention that the Institute is built on a
plot of ground most kindly given for the purpose by Lady
Wallace, widow of the late Sir Richard Wallace, who himself
nobly presented the adjoining acre of land as the site of the
Rous Memorial Hospital and Almshouses ; so it is easy to find.
All are welcome to come and see how the youths are catered
for, as well as the sick and maimed, and the necessitous old
trainers, jockeys, and their near relatives. The Bentinck and
Rous Memorial funds supply the necessary amount of money
to defray the small yearly pensions of the men, as well as the
expenses of the hospital and buildings ; but, as the Institute
has no fixed fund to draw from, ,1 must appeal to my readers
to help, by voluntary contributions, the inadequate yearly
subscription list for the ' Stablemen's Institute,' and if those
who have good luck only send a small percentage of their
winnings to Messrs. Hammond's Bank at Newmarket, it will
be gratefully acknowledged, and I can vouch for its being well
laid out for the benefit of those who, though exposed to sundry
and manifold temptations, yet as a body are hard to beat as a
trustworthy and hard-working set of lads.

36 1

CHAPTEE XXXV.

Treat to the Crimean Veterans — Difficulty of Finding them ont — Object
to Change tlieir Suits for those Provided — I Set the Example — We
Muster about Eighty— We Spend a Jovial Day and all the old Boys
are Deliglited — A Bit more about Pedestrians — Jackson, the * American
Deer' — Ten-Mile Race for Men over Fifty — Toddy Ray, not Tottie Fay
— 'Choppy' Warburton — A Doubtful Certificate of Birth — Somerset
House to the Rescue — ' Choppy ' afterwards Disqualified — I Match him
against any Man of the Brigade of Guards — ' Choppy' Wins Easily — •
A Word about Bicycles — Major Tom Holmes — Long Distances Ridden
by him when at the Age of Eighty or thereabouts — History of another
Crimean Veteran, Bob.

We are now rapidly approaching the end of my maunderings,
and are getting up to date. I don't know that any incident
I have taken part in, gave me so much real pleasure as the
treat that was got up for the Crimean veterans, on the occasion
of the wedding of the Princess May and H.R.H. the Duke of
York. It is sad to think how comparatively few of the rank
and file there are left of those who embarked for the Crimea
in February 1854, and formed the three battalions represent-
ing the Brigade of Guards. These men, after disembarking
at Malta, Scutari, and Yarna, and spending over six months
between the three places, at last landed in the Crimea in
September 1854. Before setting foot on Russian territory,
though not a shot had been fired in anger, a very large per-
centage had been invalided, and hundreds had succumbed to
disease ; low fever, dysentery, and cholera being the most
fatal maladies. Soon after landing in the enemy's territory
the battles of Alma, Balaclava, and Inkerman, and the severe
dangers and incessant duty in the trenches before Sebastopol
followed. To my mind the men who went through the whole
of the trying twelve months before the fall of Sebastopol on
the 8th of September, 1855, are well worthy of any recognition
that can be bestowed on them.

Actuated by this feeling, many of their old officers deter-
mined to give the old boys who served in the Crimea in 1854

362 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

a treat. I was deputed to organize the entertainment, and
was ably assisted by many of the officers now doing duty with
the Brigade, notably by Colonel Eaton, who was commanding
a battalion of Grenadiers in Chelsea Barracks during the
summer of 1893. He willingly gave leave that the large room
in which the Guards' theatricals are annually held, should be
placed at the service of the veterans for their breakfast and
dinner. A subscription was started among the old Crimean
officers, and over £100 was soon forthcoming. The first and
most difficult part of the business was to discover the where-
abouts of these old boys ; but, with willing helpers, some 120
or thereabouts were soon hunted up. They were written to,
and invited to parade at Chelsea Barracks on the morning of
July 6th (the Eoyal Wedding day), and on arriving in barracks
at 8 A.M. I found a motley crowd of some eighty men, nearly
all with four clasps to their medals ; and, after shaking hands
with those I recollected, I invited all to follow me to a large
barrack-room, there to get out of their plain clothes and to
indue themselves in a pair of trousers and tunic of dark-blue
serge, with a field cap for headgear, so as to render them
uniform in appearance, and privileged to the protection and
assistance of the police in passing tln^ough the crowded
thoroughfares, to the place assigned them by the field-officer
commanding the district (Lord Methuen) on Constitution Hill.
But I had not foreseen the difficulty of inducing the old
warriors to leave their beloved plain clothes in charge of the
* Master Tailor ' and his staff, and I don't believe the men
would have got into the serge suits at all, unless I had given
them a lead.

Finally they all set to and changed, and really looked quite
smart, the jacket having some brass buttons down the front,
and the field-cap some red braid on it. The whole kit only
cost just over ten shillings a man. Forty-one pounds I paid
at the Army Service Stores on the Embankment for the eighty
suits — not dear, was it % no more than the price of a lady's
fancy frock. When all had paraded in their uniforms, they
made a good breakfast of coffee, ham, and bread. Then they
were put aboard three large vans I had hired for the purpose,
and, with the help of a couple of cabs for the lame ones, we
duly arrived in Grosvenor Place, disembarked, and marched
(not in very strict formation) through the crowd to a charm-
ing spot inside the railings on the Buckingham Palace Garden
side of Constitution Hill, where the large plane-trees afforded
a pleasant shade from the scorching rays of a wonderful bright

IN SEARCH OF HEAVY WET. 363

and powerful sun, and were here joined by several old officers
who took an interest in the day's proceedings.

Well, presently, the large procession of State carriages
filed past us on their way to the Chapel Royal, and we just
did give the Royalties a cheer ! What with the heat and
excitement, the old boys became wonderfully thirsty, and sent
a deputation to me to allow them to go out of our pen and
get some beer (so like them, poor dears !) ; but I would not
allow any of them to go out. So, selecting two likely men —
CorjDoral Gardyne, who was in our right flank company, and
Dougherty, who was lodge-keeper at the Marble Arch (since
dead, poor chap) — I sallied forth with them to try and get six
gallons of half-and-half to wet their old whistles. But I little
dreamed at starting what a task we had dropped in for, as,
after getting through the densely-packed crowds of men and
women, we found all the public-houses in the neighbourhood
so besieged with thirsty souls that it was quite impossible to
get served. Fortunately I espied a bottle-nosed old cabby on
his four-wheeler, whom I felt sure could conduct us to beer ;
and when I asked him wiiere the best could be obtained, his
funny old eyes twinkled, and his nose twitched with delight,
as he declared he knew of a ' pub ' not far off, where nothing
but the very best was sold, and where we might rely on being
attended to at once.

He drove us off to his favourite ' pub ' and we had the luck
to get our six gallons put up in stone jars ; then, with six
pewters lent us, we returned to our thirsty old comrades, and
no well in the desert was ever more gratefully welcomed than
was our supply of half-and-half. That liquid evaporated as
quickly, and was as thoroughly appreciated, as any suction I
ever distributed. The procession now returned, the wedding
ceremony being over, and we all got on board our vans and
returned to Chelsea Barracks. I went out and found a
photographer, who came and took three groups — i. e. the men
of each battalion together. We now sat down to a good
substantial dinner of cold meat, hot vegetables, and hot plum-
pudding, washed down with beer ; a barrel of the best having
been generously supplied us by Cosmo Bonsor, M.P., and
followed up by some special Scotch and tobacco, kindly
furnished by Sir Walter Gilbey, and just as I was giving the
Royal toast, H.R.H. the Duke of Cambridge arrived and said
a few kind words, which much touched the old boys, and they
just did give him a jolly, and no error, which he richly
deserved, for it was real good of him to come, as he had had

364 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

a hard, long day's work. Then, with a few songs, and many
a cheery toast, the party broke up, and I don't believe there
was ever a more enjoyable day spent by all concerned. The
only contretemps was, that one old boy would jump down in
the morning from the van, and he fell and broke his arm ;
but the doctor of the ambulance corps quickly set it, and,
though I had him lodged in St. George's Hospital, we had not
fairly sat down to dinner before in he came, and fell to with
his one arm, declaring he could not miss the opportunity of a
glass with his old friends.

The photographs came out well, and I sent each man a good
big copy. Lord Wantage {nee Bob Lindsay of ours) having
kindly given a tenner for that purpose. To each man I had
given a briar-root pipe, with the monogram of G and M
inscribed thereon, to commemorate the wedding ; and to those
who could not come, on account of distance or sickness, ten
shillings was sent to help them to enjoy themselves at home.
The treat was a thorough success, and ought to be repeated
annually. The party that met last July will quickly dwindle
in numbers, for the old boys drop oif rapidly now ; I know of
six that have been gathered since then. I received many
letters of thanks, and all look forward to a repetition of the
fete, and I am all for it too — nous verrons. Before I bid
adieu to my old comrades (in these piges), I should like to
explain how it happened that the list of those asked to the
treat last July was confined to the men who had served in the
Crimea in 1854 : the reason was that we were bound to limit
the numbers in some way, on account of the difficulty of con-
veying them to and from Constitution Hill, on that glorious
but crowded day, and the finding them uniforms to prevent
their getting lost in the crowd.

If we (the old officers who served in the Crimea) can arrange
an annual fete, I hope we shall be able to include all those
who served in the Brigade of Guards up to the fall of
Sebastopol, on September 8th, 1855 ; for the men that took
part in the cruel hard work of the trenches are well worthy of
any treat we can get up for them. The mere fact of getting
the old boys together, and giving them an opportunity of
talking over those now distant days in the Crimean War, is
much appreciated by the veterans ; for very many of them
have never set eyes on each other for well-nigh forty years,
and the opportunity of renewing their acquaintance over a
glass and a pipe, is of itself a great joy to them.

I feel I must add a few words on a subject I feel veiy

HOW THE WARRIOR IS REWARDED ! 365

Strongly about — namely, the way a grateful country (save the
mark !) has behaved to her old soldiers. If a soldier had
not served with the colours, either in the Crimea or Indian
Mutiny, or both, over ten years, he would not be entitled to
a pension of any kind ; is that generous ? If a soldier had
served over ten years, but not twenty-one, he got no pension —
so I am told — till some three years ago, when a mean grant
w^as voted by Parliament to be distributed to one hundred
men (and one hundred men only) each year, as a pension of
ninepence a day — that is, five shillings and threepence a week —
a rollicking fine acknowledgment of his services, ain't if?
And to be entitled to that magnificent income his character
must have been of the best. Had he an irregular character —
which means that he occasionally got drunk, and in peace time
was consequently absent without leave — no matter how good
and brave a soldier he was acknowledged to be when on duty
and under fire, he was not entitled to a pension at all. Does
that seem just 1

I will give an instance of a man I knew fairly well in my
battalion, Job Cook. He embarked for the Crimea in February
1854 (he has four clasps to his medal), and returned with the
battalion in July 1856 — two years and six months' foreign
service, some of it having been real hot work. He took his
discharge when he had served ten years (of course, he ought
to have stayed on for eleven more, but he didn't) ; his conduct
had been irregular, therefore the bottom of his parchment was
cut off, and up to April 1894, he has not had a bob of pension.
Yet, this man was a good soldier, and made of the stuff that
won the battles of Alma and Inkerman. His constitution —
notwithstanding his too frequent potations of liquor when off
duty — enables him now to do a fair day's work ; but he, like
all men of sixty odd, finds it very difiicult to get any employ-
ment. However, at last his name is on the list of the hundred
who, from this April, are to draw five shillings and threepence
a week pension. Lucky Job ! It is now over thirty years
since you left the army, and your medal with four bars has at
last entitled you to ninepence a day. Good lad ! your grate-
ful country is proud of you ; and Job is proud of his generous
country, or ought to be 1

Gentle readers, you who have no experience of war's alarms,
take my tip — and it can't be gainsaid — on active service it
is not the good-conduct men (those who ought to have wings)
that are the most courageous and most willing to risk their
lives for their country. No, give me the irregular men : for

366 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

they most of them have a bit of devil in them, and they will
stand up when the goody goodys will lie down. At any rate,
with luck, both good and irregular old Guardsmen who were
in the Crimea 'twixt Alma and the fall of Sebastopol, shall
spend a jolly day in 1894. If they don't, why, blame the
author.

Whilst writing of old soldiers, my thoughts revert to old
pedestrians. It was in November 1892, I thought I would
give old Jackson, the ' American deer,' whose real name is
Howitt (the best man of his day from a mile to ten) a benefit :
for he, like many of us, is, in his old age (72), short of coin.
So I advertised some prizes to be run for : ten miles by men
over 50, and, to make it a bit fairer for the older boys, they
were to have fifty yards start for each year over 50 (but that
start was not long enough). A wonderful entry was the result,
and on a fine fresh afternoon some thirty-three old gentlemen
answered to their names at Stamford Bridge grounds. Many
of them I knew by sight, and others more intimately as
runners, walkers, or pugilists in old days, and after some
trouble all were ready to start from their different marks
when I fired the pistol.

It was indeed wonderful to see how they ' bounded ' round
the track ; of course they were all got up in racing gear, with
numbers to distinguish them by. The best of those over
seventy was Toddy Ray (not to be confounded with Tottie
Fay, a peculiar character known in the police courts) ; he and
one or two more of the same age did eight miles in the hour.
The motley crew had not toddled more than a mile before it
was apparent, bar accidents, that ' Choppy ' Warburton would
win, his action being as graceful as any runner of twenty-five.
Unfortunately, I was obliged to leave the ground before the
race was over, having to catch a train for Ipswich ; but I was
informed by post that Warburton had won very easily, having
run nearly ten miles in the hour, but that he had been objected
to by the second man, on the ground that he was not fifty
years old. This did not surprise me, for the day before the
race I had seen Warburton and told him I did not believe it
was twenty years since he (then 30) had run thirty miles,
foui' minutes under the three hours. He at once pulled out
of his pocket a printed certificate of his birth, which seemed
to me satisfactory evidence at the time.

The stakes were withheld, and the second man was told to
prove the age of the winner, and to my mind the result was a
wonderful instance of the marvellous book-keeping at Somerset

'CHOPPY' BEATS THE GRENADIER. 367

House. The second man went there and paid one shilling for
a copy of AYarbnrton's certificate, and lo and behold ! the
document proved that Warburton was not yet forty-nine.
Now the production of that certificate fairly astonished me ;
for his father and mother were both weavers somewhere down
Birmingham way, and that their son's age should be chronicled
in London at all was, to my mind, a wonderful triumph of red
tape. But, sure enough, he was under age, and, of course,
was disqualified. The winner was a native of Leicester ; and
the second, of Nottingham I think. The prizes were duly
paid over to the fii'st six old boys, and I invited them to a
little dinner-party later on, when I gave each of them a small
gold medal to commemorate their extraordinary powers of
rapid progression at such an advanced age, I handed over
the balance to the old ' American deer,' who would have run
into a place had not one of his poor old ankles, that had been
queer for years, given way. Not one of the old men was the
worse for his exertions, and when you consider there were
thirty-three starters whose ages varied from fifty to seventy-
four, it shows some of us swells must be soft toads indeed ; for
at this moment, I don't know a gentleman over fifty who
could run eight miles in the hour, even if he had a bull with
sharp horns after him.

Though ' Choppy ' Warburton was justly disqualified, yet
he had done such a good performance that, one night, when
dining on guard at St. James's, I offered to back him to run
any m.an in the Brigade of Guards ten miles. This was, of
coiu-se, taken up by a gallant Colonel (himself no mean per-
former on the cinder-path), and we bet a pony on the result.
Both competitors were put through a course of training, and
on the day appointed duly toed the scratch at Stamford Bridge.
My man, ' Choppy,' had lately strained one of his ankles, and
it looked so inflamed that I bid him wait on the soldier,
a smart-made, active-looking young fellow of twenty-two.
' Cho]3py,' as he ran round some two yards behind the
Grenadier, implored me to let him go up and make the
running ; but I refused till two miles had been covered, and
then, as his ' dicky ' leg seemed no worse, I told him, to his
great delight, that he might lap the soldier just to see if he
could go any faster. This ' Choppy ' did with the greatest
ease, and was then content to play with the Guardsman till
seven miles were covered, when suddenly the son of Mars laid
down on the green sward totally exhausted, whilst my man
was as fresh as a kitten — but very low lest the wretchedly slow

368 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

time should be chronicled in the sporting prints against his
name ; for he said it would ruin his reputation, and we none
of us like to lose our character in 2)rint. I gave ' Choppy ' the
pony I won, and have not seen him since, but hear he is quite
willing to run any soldier.

That poor Grenadier had not a fair chance, for he told me
he had been sent away to train by himself at a public-house
some twenty miles out of London ; where, I should fear, he
had not strength of mind to resist sampling the various liquors
and other pleasant things that public contained ; though even
at his very best I don't believe he would beat the old one,
who, by the bye, was reported not long ago in the newspapers,
as having been knocked off his bicycle and rendered hors de
combat in the Champs Elysees by a French Jiacre. However,
I have heard since that it was not ' Choppy,' who is fit and
well, I am glad to say. He had gone to Paris to train one
Linton, our English bicyclist, in his match with the French
champion.

It is surprising what quick time a good man on a bicycle
can accomplish now-a-days, and how in the cramped position
they ride they can keep it up. But they are no good for
rough roads, where a fair pedestrian is sure to beat them.
Still, on a real well-constructed track of, say, four laps to the
mile, they can go nearly twice as fast as a runner at ten miles.
I am told a track made of wood, such as the bicycle races are
now run on at Heme Hill, produces the fastest time. It is
some years since I paid two and-six for a lesson to ride a
bicycle, in a building near Albert Gate, soon after these
machines came out ; but, after a few croppers, I gave it up,
and I don't recommend this style of progression to stout
elderly parties of either sex.

Major Tom Holmes, who died last year at somewhere about
eighty years of age, rode extraordinary distances long after he
was well in the seventies. He then rode a tricycle, and
thought nothing of taking his little girl on his machine down
to Brighton in less time than the fastest coach ; but he was a
real wonder. I recollect him dining on guard (soon after I
joined in 1848) with Henry de Bathe, and a more amusing,
cheery couple were hard to find ; and so said their brother
actors of the Strollers, an amateur theatrical company who for
years enlivened the summer evenings during the Canterbury
Cricket Week. Within six months of his death he had taken
a long ride on his tricycle ; but, on returning home, he felt so
exhausted that he was obliged to dismount and get a glass of

YE DOGGE BOB. 369

brandy-and- water at a ' pub/ and, the road being a bit against
the collar, he found it very hard work, tired as he was, to get
the pedals to work. Consequently, some small street arabs,
seeing the poor old boy in difficulties, slightly parodied the
fine old song by singing, ' He won't get home till morning.'
This so exasperated him that he got o£ his machine, and ran
after the urchins (a peculiar idea at eighty-four), and this ill-
judged effort caused him much discomfort. In fact, as an
old friend of his expressed himself, ' it was suicidal,' and it
brought on an illness of which he subsequently died,

I append to this chapter about the Crimean veterans, a
history of the dog Bob, a regimental favourite who accompanied
our battalion to the East and home again.

YE FAMOUS DOGGE BOB.i

HIS HISTORY (by SERGEANT FEIST).

Bob was a native of the Eoyal Borough of Windsor, though,
like many others who have won distinction in the British
army, he started in a humble station of life, having passed
his puppyhood in the service of a butcher of that town. He
gave early token of a liking for a soldier's life, and in the
spring of 1853, the 1st Battalion Scots Fusilier Guards being
at Windsor, Bob was frequently found in the barracks, and
taken back by his master ; but he always returned when he
had a chance. His master, finding that Bob had made up his
mind to follow the drum, at length gave up all thoughts of
reclaiming him, and when the battalion marched to Chobham
camp in June, Bob marched with it, a recognized member of
the battalion. Here he gave promise of that excellence which
afterwards distinguished him as an old campaigner, always
first on parade, and when the duties of the day were over, no
old hand was better up to foraging and taking care of number
one. At the Wellington Barracks in the winter of 1853-4,
Capt. H. Drummond, the Acting- Adjutant, allowed Bob
regular rations, and when the battalion embarked on H.M.S.
Simoom, at Portsmouth, on the 28th Feb., 1854, Bob was
among the first on board. Here his career was nearly brought
to a close, for on the First Lieutenant seeing Bob, he inquired,
* Whose dog is that 1 ' and no one in particular claiming him,
the order was given to ' Throw him overboard.' But, before
this could be carried out, it was explained that Bob belonged
to every one, and he was allowed to remain, and became as

^ This account of Bob has been left intact. — Editor.

B B

370 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

great a pet on board ship as lie had been on shore. Bob
served at Malta, Scutari, Yarna, &c., and on the embarkation
for the Crimea he got on board the wrong ship, and it being
ascertained, after the arrival at Baljic Bay, where he was, an
escort of officers was sent after him in a boat, and brought
him back a prisoner. He was at the landing in the Crimea,
and at the battle of the Alma was returned among the ' miss-
ing.' He rejoined the battalion at Balaclava after the flank
march, was present at the battle of Balaclava, and at Inker-
man he distinguished himself by chasing spent cannon-balls
and shells, for which he was awarded a medal. He served in
the trenches up to the fall of Sebastopol. Bob returned to
England with the battalion at the end of the war, and marched
into London at its head in July 1856, having shared the
fortunes of the corps during a most eventful period. After
that. Bob did duty in London, Windsor, and Portsmouth. He
had a large circle of acquaintances and admirers, and at guard-
mounting at St. James's Palace, or at reviews and field-days
in Hyde Park, his portly form and decorated breast attracted
considerable attention. While stationed at the Tower he
patronized the steamboats in performing the journey between
that fortress and the West End, and as he was known to the
steamboat people no objection was made.

This distinguished hero met with an untimely death at the
beginning of February 1860. While marching out with his
battalion, he was run over by a cart and killed on the spot, to
the regret of the whole regiment. He was looked on as a
comrade by all, and in the minds of many was associated with
the most exciting events of the Russian War. Manifold were
the expressions of sorrow, as ' poor old Bob ' was carried past
the battalion by a drummer, who bore him to the Buckingham
Palace guard-room.

Bob was a great favourite from the time he first joined, but
he showed partiality for no one in particular. He would not
go out of barracks Avith a single individual, except on duty.
In commemoration of his faithful service, the officers of the
regiment had him stuffed and presented to the Eoyal United
Service Museum, where he may be seen among the mementos
of the Crimean War.

Bob was a good stout specimen of the black and tan terrier,
had been educated to sit up on his haunches, and other accom-
plishments, was ' good for a rat,' but his accompaniment to the
bugles was not considered musical. On the whole he was ' a
very good dog.'

371

CHAPTER XXXYI.

Cabbies — A Few of their ISTames and Nicknames — Captain Fellows and
his Cabman— Competition at Crystal Palace for Cabmen — My Prefer-
ence for Hansoms over 'Buses or Undergromid Railways — How it took
Three Traps to Convey me Two Miles — Out of the Frying-pan into the
Fire — My Match with ' Sugar ' Candy— Shoot or Part — A Case of
'Part,' as I Win Comfortably but perhaps Luckily — The Whippet,
what Manner of Dog — His Use and the JMethod of Racing these
Animals — Large Number of Entries for Whippet Races — Frequent
Close Results — All should be Whippeteers — A Word or Two about
Clubs— The Orleans— Pelican— The Sports Club — Dinner to Mr. Selous
— A Welcome to Lord Dunraven — Prosperous Condition of Sports Club
— ' Come on ! '

I HAVE always been fond of cabbies — i. e. of those who drive
a good horse and a comfortable cab and keep a civil tongue in
their mouths — and have been a subscriber to their Benevolent
Fund, instituted and so ably conducted by the late Mr.
Stormont Murphy. I have several times dined with the old
annuitants and their belongings at their annual dinner. They
are a wonderful funny lot of old boys, and thoroughly do they
enjoy their treat. Many kind friends of the cabby often
volunteer to amuse them afterwards with songs and stories —
notably good old Johnny Toole, the merriest and funniest
when fit and well. Most of the old drivers are known by
some nickname amongst their friends, and some of these terms
of endearment are very peculiar. One old cabby who has
been some fifty years on the box, Charles Old in his register,
is nicknamed '■ Old and Bitter,' Thomas Bacon {' Porky '),
Charles Brown ('Brown Upside Down'), Robert Swannell
{' Old Black Lion Bob '), "William Speecliley (' Nicodemus '),
Robert Green (' Old Greeny '), James Tanner (' Doctor '), John
Dew (' Rhoderic Dhu'), &c. &c. All that can afford it should
subscribe to the Cabbies' Benevolent Fund, ofiices at 15 Soho
Square, where the secretary, Mr. Saiford, will give every
information. An annual subscription of five shillings per
annum constitutes a cabman a benefit member of the Associ-

372 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

ation, and when incapacitated from following his calling (if
elected an annuitant) he receives £20 a year; and if he choose
to subscribe the small sum of two shillings a year whilst at
work he secures an annuity for his widow or children. There
are now 56 annuitants on the Society's books, many of whom,
but for this help, would, after long years of honest industry,
be in the workhouse.

Amongst the many repartees made by cabbies to their fares
when not satisfied with the money paid them is one that
tickled me much. A Captain Fellows once tendered, we will
say, one shilling as the fare ; but the cabby begged him to
keep the money, as he must have two. After a few civilities
had passed between them, the cabby demanded the Captain's
name and address, and he, pulling out one of his visiting
cards, handed it to the wrathful driver. Cabby turned it
over and over, muttering, * Fellows, Fellows ' ; then, addressing
the Captain, added, ' "Well, these old boots on my feet is
fellers, but I should be wonderful sorry to have you for one
of 'em.'

Only recently I heard one cabby say to another, * Bill,
there's a levee on to-day.' ' Y"es,' replied the other ; ' I know
there is. Bob, my tulip, and maybe His Royal 'Ighness is
//.expecting me ; but I sha'n't go to-day. It's a dry job that,
I Aexpects ; so let's pull up at the corner, and I'll toss yer
who pays for level drinks.' At one time I pretty regularly
employed a comical old chap who drove a four-wheeler and
always patronized the rank in St. James's Street. He went
by the name of Esau. One morning, seeing my luggage
labelled for Gunton, he perked up, and with pride informed
me, ' That's where I was born, Sir John ; and Esau was a
smart young fellow one time, and was well known in those
parts as a handy man at breaking in young horses either to
ride or drive. One day I was riding a very promising young
one with the hounds, and the old Lord Suffield came galloping
along, and, knowing me, he holloaed out, " Open that gate,
Esau." Now the hounds were running hard, and Esau didn't
want to lose his place, so I pops my young 'oss over the gate,
and, turning round says, " I beg pardon, but follow me, my
lord." He was very angry at the time, was the old lord, but
he gave me five bob afterwards, and told me I was a smart
young fellow — and so I was.'

Some four years ago I got up a treat for the London
cabbies at the Crystal Palace, and collected about eighty
pounds for prizes, the competitions being for the best turned

SENSATIONAL TWO-MILE DRIVE. 373

out hansom and four-wheeler, trotting races for bond fide cab-
horses only, boxing, and foot-racing. We, luckily, had a fine
day for the sports, and all went olf right well, though there
might have been more competitors for some of the prizes.
Take them all round, they are not half a bad lot of chaps,
though there are some queer fish amongst them ; and when
prices of agricultural produce are bad and trade generally is
slack, no class of men feel the tightness of the money market
more acutely than cab- drivers, and though personally I hate
perching on the top of a 'bus like a sick rook, or hurrying
along underground like a buck-rabbit, instead of bowling
along in a good hansom cab like a swell, yet prudence — alias,
shortness of coin — often enforces this distasteful mode of
progression, as well as it also affects the lining material of
your upper garments ; for riding in or on a 'bus, instead of
a cab, is on all fours with having an aljjaca lining to your
coat, instead of a silk one. It is true that you can exist with
either alternative, but there is a wonderful difference in the
comfort ; still, you know, beggars can't be choosers.

While on the subject of riding on wheels, few have ex-
perienced a more sensational two-mile drive than I did one
afternoon when returning from Windsor races to Windsor
Station. I was in a desperate hurry to catch the train up to
town, so jumped into an open trap and bid the driver go
hard all. Away he galloped, but he had only a moderate eye
for distance, and in consequence very soon collided with a
close fly coming in an opposite direction. The boxes of the
front wheels came into violent collision. My trap, being the
lightest, was turned completely over, and one of the shafts
was broken ; I was shot out, fortunately on some nice soft
grass by the roadside, on my hands and knees, but, being
unhurt, I jumped into the close machine, which, apparently,
was none the worse for the cannon. I slammed the door and
holloaed to the driver to hurry up ; but no luck : for in
turning round, the fore-wheel that had borne the brunt of
the shock collapsed entirely, breaking up into splinters, and
the old tub turned over on its side, lying no distance from the
' shay ' I had lately quitted. I was soon on my feet, and with
a vigorous upheaval of my person got out of the window
which was uppermost, and started off*, vowing I would trust
only to my legs. However, a hansom hove in sight and,
jumping into it, I was safely landed at the station, just
catching my train. Of course one knows that accidents
hardly ever happen singly, at the same time I might have

374 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

had a fair price that it would take three traps to convey me
two miles ; and the curious part of it was that I got off
scot free, barring barking my shins and being a bit stiff the
next day.

One evening at the Turf Club in January 1892, a select
coterie were talking over the sport we had had shooting, at
different places, and the elegant ' Sugar ' (ne Candy) was
taking a good lead in the conversation, and seemed to be
classing himself with Walsingham and De Grey as a deadly
shot, but I mildly hinted he was no flyer with his fowling-
piece, and would require a bit of luck to hit a haystack if
it was narrow end on. The saccharine one rose at once and
retorted that, at all events, he was a better shot than I was.
I cast some doubt on this assertion, whereupon he promptly
offered to shoot me a match at pigeons, and I being nothing
loth, our young friend Arthur kindly wrote out the conditions.
We were to shoot at 25 birds each, 25 yards rise, for 25 sovs.
a side, p.p.^ in three days' time, which would enable us to send
for our guns. We both signed the conditions, and took a
friendly glass to show there was no bad feeling ; afterwards
walking up Piccadilly together to our respective roosts.

On the following morning I got a note from the valiant one,
sweet and gentle in tone : ' Would you mind our match being
off until the warm weather comes 1 ' I wrote back : ' Shoot
or part Thursday at noon, and, win or lose, we can have
another try when the weather is warmer.' On the Thursday
morning there was a cruel thick fog with a rimy frost, and it
seemed impossible to bring off the match ; but on my wiring
to the Gun Club at Netting Hill I received an answer that the
fog was lifting there and it would be quite possible to shoot at
noon. So I jumped into a hansom with its lamps all ablaze,
and called at ' Sugar's ' abode, only to find that he had already
gone to the scene of action, guns and all ; so on we sped,
though very slowly, as the fog was very dense. However, as
we neared the rendezvous the light got better, ajid, though
very hazy, yet the boundary-fence was good to see from the
Pavilion. There I found the candied one all ready, and
(apparently) eager for the fray, a merry twinkle in his eye and
full of shoot, as he had just grassed three doves in succession.
The company was a very small one, because no one in the
St. James's Street district thought it would be possible for
the match to come off. My boy had come by underground
from Sloane Square to see his dad through it. We took our
^ Play or pay.

A WORD ABOUT WHIPPETS. 375

top-coats off, and our doughty deeds are thus described in a
small newspaper cutting I have before me : — ' Sir John took a
lead at the fifth round, and shooting in fine form, increased
his advantage and gained a victory at the twenty-second, with
eighteen kills to his credit. Colonel Candy stopped thirteen
birds out of twenty-one.^ As in most matches at pigeons, luck
had much to do with the result, and Dame Fortune was very
kind to me, I freely admit, for I put in some long and lucky
second barrels which proved very useful ; still, I fancy ' Snowy '
(as some of the ladies call me) is quite as good a shot as ' Sugar,'
but that ain't saying over much : it is only mild jolating form
to be candid.

In my old age I am thinking of going in for a new (to me)
style of sport : ' Whippet-racing.' Many of my readers, I feel
sure, don't even know what a whippet is. It is a member of
the canine species, much resembling a miniature greyhound ;
they run from eight to thirty-eight pounds in weight, and I
fancy many of them were originally a cross between a grey-
hound and a fox-terrier. Most of them have smooth coats, but
there are also wire-haired whippets. The owner of a whippet
is termed a whippeteer. These little dogs are wonderful
speedy, take a delight in racing against each other, and when
well trained (I am told) nothing will divert their attention
from running at top-speed to their owner or trainer. The
distance they run is limited to 200 yards straight, and the
track they race on is made of cinders, firmly rolled quite
smooth and hard, and wide enough to allow at least five dogs
to run abreast.

When contesting a match or sweepstakes, the owner of a
whippet deputes some friend to hold his dog with both hands
at the starting-point ; then, when all are in readiness, each
owner or trainer runs backwards from his whippet waving a
handkerchief or cloth, whilst all the time calling his dog to
hurry towards him, and when these men have arrived near the
winning-post, the starter fires off a pistol, and all the competing
dogs are slipped at the same instant, and race as hard as they
know how to their owner, who must be five yards behind the
winning-crease or post. The little racers seize the handker-
chief in their teeth, and are swung up into their master's
arms. To make it fair for all sizes and weights, the smaller
whippets are allowed a start according to their weights ; and,
in addition, are handicapped according to their performances,
the result frequently being some splendid racing, as the races
are often only won by inches. The heats are run off in quick

376 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

succession, and sometimes there are as many as three hundred
entries for one handicap. Say two hundred come to the post,
well, that entails forty races of five dogs each ; then the forty
winners run the second heats in eight races ; then the semi-
final two heats are run ; and, eventually, the final brace are
slipped — making fifty-one races, sometimes run in one, at
others in two, days.

The two great attractions in whippet-racing are : first, the
sport is suited to all kinds and conditions of the human species,
of both sexes, wealth not being a sine qua non : for even those
of slender means can be whippeteers, as you can keep forty to
fifty whippets for the same outlay per week that you can one
racehorse. Secondly, it is the only sport utterly devoid of
cruelty ; for it is apparent that the whippet will only strain
every nerve to be the first to reach the owner or trainer who
really is kind to it ; and the fonder it is the more resolutely
will it strive to hurry to its beloved possessor. Then, again,
the whippeteer can keep his racer in his room ; he can exercise
and feed it himself ; he can gauge its improvement to a nicety
by his stop-watch ; and no one but himself need know what
time his whippet can do its 200 yards in. His wife, child,
relation, or friend, can act as starter, by holding and slipping
it at a given signal to its owner. To a business man it is an
inducement for him to rise betimes and exercise himself and
his dog before he goes to w^ork, and again when he returns
home. In fact, he has always an object for keeping himself in
health-giving exercise, a long way in front of the uninteresting
' constitutional ' along the ' 'ard 'igh-road.' Yes, we must all
keep whippets. Pugs and Poodles, Pomeranians and Skyes,
Collies and Danes, and all non-sporting pets must give way to
the possible breadwinner — the fleet and bloodlike whippet.

The best whippets can do 200 yds. in 12 sees., nearly twice
as fast as a man can run, and somewhere about the rate of
36 miles an hour. Up to now there has been but little interest
taken in whippet-racing around London, and the principal
whippeteers are colliers in Lancashire. Many of them are as
keen over a dog-race as dear old George Payne ever was over
a Derby or Leger ; but once let the sport be started in
Middlesex under good auspices, it will soon be as popular as in
the Potteries, and I venture to think it will commend itself to
sportsmen and sportswomen of all degrees : at any rate, that is
my impression, and I am going to try what I can do to give it
a helping hand. I am not a whippeteer, but hope to be soon,
and have already secured a first-class comfortable basket

THE SPORTS CLUB. 377

(representing the best of loose boxes in a racing stable) for my
whippet's comfort, at three shillings net at the Stores, besides
giving fifty shillings for a stop-watch to time its speed with,
and as soon as the Green Park is open in the summer mornings
I shall be there with the ' Pride of Park Place ' gambolling
around me, and hope, dear readers, I shall meet many of you
at the same game.

What with being the owner of the Orleans Club at Twicken-
ham, and Chairman of the Pelican Club in Gerrard Street, and
now of the Sports Club in St. James's Square, besides having
been on the Committee of other clubs, I have had a fair insight
into the management and interior economy of club-land ; and
though I lost my own money over the Orleans venture, and
the extravagant tactics of the Pelican manager shut up that
peculiar conglomeration of mixed spirits, I now devote much
of my time to the interests of the Sports Club, and I have no
doubt of its turning out a great success, both financially and
socially. The object of the founders of this club was to get
together under one roof a representative body of members who
are, or have been (when in their prime), fond and active ex-
ponents of all kinds of sport and athletic exercises, requiring
strength, activity, and skill, such as rowing, cricket, football,
tennis, rackets, running, et hoc genus omne, and more particu-
larly to provide a home and rendezvous for athletes and
sportsmen of every nationality. With that object in view it
was considered necessary to put the annual subscription within
the reach of all, even of those (and they are in the majority)
of slender means ; trusting by numbers to compete with the
hosts of more expensive clubs already in existence.

I think all will admit that these intentions were laudable ;
but the fear, or rather doubt, at starting was, whether the
Executive would be warranted in leasing expensive premises
in a first-rate West-end situation, and I must say I trembled
when we opened our club just a year ago. Mind you, we had
no wealthy backers to put down, or even guarantee (as we
ought to have had with luck) from five thousand to ten
thousand pounds (at least) to start us, but we went at it with
a will and a determination to carry the venture through. Few
can now doubt that we have been most successful, for we have
2500 members on our books, and, though the subscription was
raised last May from three to five guineas for town members,
from two to three for country members, and from one to two
guineas for officers on full pay of either service in England
(foreign members and officers serving abroad are admitted at

378 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

one guinea per annum), we still have a goodly number of
candidates down for election at each of our Committee meet-
ings. As yet we have no entrance-fee, but, being a company,
each member when he is elected has to take at least one
£1 share ; and we have now made arrangements to take over
the whole of the adjoining block of buildings in York Street,
and I see no reason why we should not make up our numbers
to three thousand before 1895 sets in.

I attribute much of our success to the friendly and cordial
way we have held out the hand of fellowship to foreign
athletes and our Colonial brothers ; for we have already
entertained the French football team, the Australian cricket
eleven, the Oxford and Cambridge football teams, the 'Varsity
cricket elevens, and the International lawn-tennis teams. "We
have welcomed that plucky and distinguished traveller, sports-
man, and soldier, Mr. Selous, on his return from Matabele-
land ; and last, but not least, we have been fortunate enough
to induce Lord Dunraven to accept our hospitality on his
return from American waters, where he so boldly and single-
handed essayed to bring back to old England the American
Cup (the envied trophy of all yachtsmen), and on that occasion
we were honoured by H.R.H. the Prince of Wales and the
Duke of Cambridge, who condescended to dine with the
members of the Sports Club to add to the eclat of Lord Dun-
raven's welcome home. That's not a bad record for a young
club which has only been in existence since February 1893, is
it 1 At any rate, I am game to give a tenner for a photograph
of any other club, young or old, that can boast of such
hospitality during any twelve months from its foundation.
Ay ! and we mean to keep it up. So you elderly men that
are at your best, not to say past, and you young men that
love athletic exercises and sports of all kinds, come and join
the Sports Club, for you are bound to meet more kindred
spirits under our club-roof than in any other in this tight
little island. Come and help us to be a power in the land of
sport, and the upholders of all that is fair, honourable, and of
good repute among the nations of the world, and the terror
of all those whose practices are mean, contemptible, and
unsavoury in the two hemispheres. Come on !

379

CHAPTER XXXYII.

Forgotten Scraps — Hurst Park — Course and Stands — 'Appy 'Ampton —
Chestnuts in Hampton Park — Xew Method of Preparing a cheap Cigar
— I am Initiated into the Process — The lost Coat — Lord Cornwallis (?)
— Poor Jerry Goodlake's Ilhiess— His Death — Major-General George
Knox — Death busy among my Friends — A sympathetic Bi-other — A
little Stimulant ! — Practising what he preached —My Labours nearly
over — A short Account of Josej)h Lewis — Last Hopes — Last Words —
' King down the Curtain ! '

It was only the other day I went to Hurst Park, and certainly
it was a lovely bright afternoon. I don't think I have ever
seen a more perfect race-course or any more comfortable stands.
The course itself is the very best going, no matter whether it
has been raining cats and dogs, or bright Phoebus has burnt
up the surrounding country. Pour years ago I superintended
and laid out the course and the position of the stands, the
latter no easy matter, for the space at that end of the ground
is very circumscribed. The Five Furlongs is quite straight,
and finishes close to the -stand. You have not got to walk
to the winning-post, as you must do at either Sandown or
Kempton, if you want to be close to the horses when they
finish. The turns in the oval course are easy. On no other
course has so much money been spent in order to insure its
being accurately level ; for (barring a short bit, say three
hundred yards along the river-side) the whole of the turf was
stripped off, the earth underneath levelled to a nicety, and
several inches of good soil spread before the turf was replaced,
and, where necessary, herring-bone drains were laid to a good
fall ; while to prevent the going ever being too hard, as it
frequently is at Ascot, Epsom, and other places, hydrants
have been fixed at intervals, so that the course is always green
and fresh, and concussion an unknown quantity. Those that
recollect 'Appy 'Ampton must indeed marvel at the change,
for there was no rougher, more uneven, and dangerous course
than that was. Deary me ! what fun I have had at that
peculiar gathering.

38o FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

On one occasion when I bad made one of a coach-load, and
had arrived in ample time to take a stroll before the races
amongst the gipsies and their tempting cocoa-nut shies, I had
been watching the Cockneys enjoy their rides on ponies and
donkeys, when, as luck would have it, a nicely-rounded, stout
lady came bumping along on a pony and suddenly lost her
balance, falling backwards on the near side of her palfrey,
though her useful but not elegant foot was still fixed in the
stirrup on the top of the saddle. Her petticoats and skirt
formed a voluminous hide for her head and shoulders, which
rested on the grass, but didn't aii'ord any shelter for other
parts of her form usually embowered in their ample folds. Of
course I at once rushed forward, and, pulling myself together
for a huge effort, encircled my arms around her forty-inch
waist, and was in the act of heaving her back into the saddle,
the while (to allay all flutterings of her expansive bosom and
chances of hysterics) warbling in sympathetic assurance, ' All
right, Maria ; no harm done. I'll put you in your saddle in
a jiffy,' when I felt a rough hand seize my shoulder and a
gruff voice demanded, ' Holloa, young man, what are you
doing with my Missus'? Leave her to me.' I said, 'Take
hold and help, for the lady's that solid I ain't at all sure I can
hoist her by myself. Now then, both together ! ' and up went
the Missus, none too soon, for flutterings had set in, and her
spouse conveyed her to the nearest booth, there to procure a
drop of the best to calm her feelings. Poor fragile thing ! she
ought to have broken her neck if she had had any luck, and
then her hubby would have had to warble, ' You dunno where
yer are.'

Yes ! the Cockneys just did enjoy themselves at 'Appy
'Ampton ! Thousands used to drive down in their gigs, with
a tasty luncheon, and various stone jars of liquid stowed away
for a picnic on the common. It was just a nice distance for
their quadruped to take them, and very many of them pulled
up under the horse-chestnut trees in Bushey Park, and never
tried to get any further.

I forget whether I told you how amused and surprised I
was, one bright autumn day when the yellow leaves were
falling off those fine horse-chestnuts, to see a trap pull up at
the side of the road near the fountain in the park, and for the
life of me I could not make out why its occupants were so
busy picking up the bright-coloured leaves and stringing them
carefully on a long bit of vdve with a flat bit of wood fastened
at one end. The wire was about a yard long, stood up straight

NEW METHOD OF MAKING CHEAP CIGARS. 381

in the cart, with its end twisted in the shape of a hook — much
such an arrangement as you see employed in shops and offices
to file bills and orders on. But no papers were ever so care-
fully handled, or such discrimination exercised, as in selecting
these leaves of the same tint, and when the wire was loaded so
that it could carry no more leaves, it was carefully placed in
the cart on its wooden end. Well, just as the load was
complete, I asked the driver what he was going to do with the
leaves, and he, with a look of pity at my ignorance, replied,
' Why, in course, we are taking them to the Minories, and
when we gets there, we takes the ribs out of the leaves, then
we soaks the flat parts in tabaccer-water, nice and strong, and
then partly dries 'em, and cuts 'em up in lengths ; after that
we rolls 'em up for smokes. Ain't yer never tried one 1 they
ain't 'alf bad, 1 can assure yer ; and we can afford to sell 'em
middling cheap. 'Oo says a good smoke for a penny 1 Why,
yer wouldn't expect to find 'em all bacca at that price ! Oh,
no, there's no place wher' yer can get the makings of a low-
priced smoke 'arf as cheap as what you can in Bushey Park :
yer can 'ave the leaves for the picking them off the ground,
and a bucket or two of real, full-flavoured baccy-water don't
cost a lot, do it ■? ' I replied, ' Good business ! The first
man that took that notion must have been useful, very ; but
I don't feel keen for a bundle of them.'

Before leaving 'Appy 'Ampton and its funny ways, I must
tell you of a very curious bit of luck that happened to me,
connected with a drive on a coach thereto. I had worn a
thick brown cloth great-coat, and when we pulled up at the
side of the course, opposite the stand, I took my heavy
garment off, and chucked it down to a cad rejoicing in the
sobriquet of ' Lord Cornwallis,' who constantly attended at
such meetings, telling him to put it inside the coach. I never
gave the old coat a thought till, on my way back to London,
I got down opposite the end of Boehampton Lane — as I was
going to dine with a party who lived hard by — and then I
missed my coat. I thought the faithful cad must have put it
in one of the other coaches which were drawn up next to ours ;
so, next morning, sent my servant round to look for it, but
never could hear anything of it, and so felt confident that the
hitherto trustworthy ' Peer ' had stolen it, and I never would
have anything more to do with him, as he was the last man I
had seen touch it ; and it was next to impossible for any one
to have abstracted the coat when once put into the interior of
the coach.

382 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

"Well, the following year, I went to Baden-Baden in
August, and one day my servant came to me, and told me he
had found my great-coat. I asked him where. He replied
that 'Mr. Cooper's servant had put it away in his master's
house in London.' Did you ever ? It appeared that the two
valets had been discussing the character of ' Lord Cornwallis,'
and my man had told his comrade that the party under dis-
cussion had stolen my great-coat at Hampton Baces the pre-
vious year, describing some peculiarities about the garment to
him, when Cooper's servant said : ' Why, I have got it safe
enough ; my master brought it back from Hampton Baces
last year, and, as no one claimed it, I folded it up and put it
away in a drawer.' And, sure enough, on my return to
England, there was my old coat, which I had long given up
ever seeing again. Of course, I apologized to ' Lord Corn-
wallis ' ; the silly old man had, in the hurry of the moment,
put the coat on Cooper's phaeton, which was near our coach,
and forgot to take it up and stow it away inside.

It will soon be four years since I lost my best of pals, Jerry
G. (Major-General Goodlake, Y.C., late of the Coldstream
Guards), and I miss him wonderful, still. We had so many
ideas in common, and our taste for sport of nearly all kinds
and descriptions was so much in unison. The only sport he
was passionately fond of, and I have never been bitten with,
was fishing. It's curious, but I verily believe I have hardly a
real pal that would not sooner whip a salmon river than spend
a day in any other way, and as keen as any among them is my
son, Frank. But to return to Jerry G.: I don't think I have
written a line about poor Jerry's premature death. Up to
some ten years ago there was no stronger, more active, or
energetic man breathing than he, and I cannot help thinking
that, if he had consulted a doctor sooner, he would have been
still in the land of the living. I believe a few lines on his
peculiar malady may warn others not to neglect the first
appearance of evil. I had observed him often fiddling with
one of his ears, and sometimes causing it to bleed. I fre-
quently chided him for so doing, but he never complained of
its paining him ; however, the poor ear got worse and worse,
and it became evident there was a running sore ; and then,
and not until then, did he consult a doctor ; and one of the
cleverest of surgeons having been called in, he discovered that
a horrible rodent ulcer was spreading its fangs over and into
his ear.

He attempted to get rid of the deadly growth by scraping

TERRIBLE SURGICAL OPERATION. 383

all the skin and flesh off the ear. Of course Jerry was under
ether during the operation, which took some time ; but,
though the skin grew again, the mischief was not abated.
Then his tonsils became troublesome, causing him to cough
terribly ; and soon he could not lie down to sleep. Subse-
quently, Jerry attended another specialist. The first time, I
went with him to see the performance. A very strong light
was directed down the throat, and then a small metal globe,
at white heat, was cunningly projected on to the elongated
tonsils, which were gradually burnt away. Of course, in
youth, tonsils unnaturally long are simply cut off, but in a
full-blooded man of iifty odd this cannot be done with safety,
principally on account of the difficulty in stop]3ing the
haemorrhage. After about a dozen visits, at intervals of a
day or two between each, the operation proved successful ;
and my poor pal was much benefited. The hacking cough
nearly left him and he slept well ; but, alas ! the fiendish
ulcer in the ear broke out again, causing him terrible pain,
and the glands in his throat began to swell. After a con-
sultation it was decided that the whole of the ear must be cut
clean out of his head — not shaved off, but dug out. Oh dear !
oh dear ! that did fetch me ; but as it must be, the sooner it
was done the better ; and the night before (I was living in his
house at the time), Jerry asked me to witness his signature to
some papers of importance, as he felt the operation was a case
of touch and go. Then, he took me up and showed me how
beautifully he had arranged the operating-table close to the
window, so that the surgeon might have the best of light for
his ghastly work !

Poor, poor old pal ! At nine the next morning three pro-
fessionals appeared, and I asked to be allowed to see my old
friend through it ; and when I told them I had been in charge
of the hospitals at Balaclava for some two months, I was
allowed to be present. Nothing could have been more skil-
fully, expeditiously, and thoroughly carried out ; and that
wretched old ear, which had caused its late owner so much
pain, was taken clean out from the very socket, and the
patient put to bed. The after-effects of the ether were very
curious. When I was sitting on his bed watching for him to
come to himself, after a few heavy sighs Jerry opened his
eyes, and saw me, and in a hysterical sort of way began crying
and muttering : ' How could he do it 1 Why didn't he stand
up to his manl But he ran away! Oh! how could he be
called an Englishman 1 ' &c. &c. His first thoughts reverting

384 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

to a boxing-match he and I had been to see together not very-
long before, and it was in vain I tried to calm him till he had
a sleeping draught given him..

Wonderful to say, the hole in his head soon healed, and a
skin grew right over it, and we hoped for the best. Jerry
recovered his strength sufficiently to go out shooting, and
never shot better than he did when he came to stop with me
at Elsham. Yet, the fangs of the loathsome ulcer were
evidently not entirely exterminated, and he soon began to
suffer terrible pains again. One afternoon I had gone down
to Denham (his delicious little place near Uxbridge, that he
had made so perfect), to have a bite of dinner with him ; but,
though he tried hard, he could only swallow with great diffi-
culty, and I thought so badly of him that, on my return to
town that night, I called on the surgeon and told him he must
not lose an hour. He was at his poor patient's bedside by
light next morning, and decided to operate on his throat the
next day. But, alas ! when he arrived my dear old pal was
dead. His heart had stopped. And so passed away one of
the truest friends, the very gamest and the kindest-hearted
gentleman that ever drew breath.

What he suffered none can tell, but he was that game he
never complained, and would not let his discomfort interfere
with the enjoyment of those around liim. He was most care-
fully and kindly tended by his good wife, who hardly ever left
him, and by one of the best servants I ever came across. Ah !
that was a blow to me, and I have never felt such a soft one
as I did when standing by poor Jerry's grave. Moral : don't
put off seeing a doctor till you're so bad you cannot do without
him.

I am half afraid that this account of poor Jerry G., and the
following few words in memory of my old friend ' Curly '
Knox, may be regarded as forming a somewhat sad wind-up
to my labours ; but I cannot lay down the pen without first
offering this slight testimony of regard for two old comrades
and friends. We must all die some day, but both these men
suffered long and bravely, bearing without a murmur what
many a brave heart would have quailed under. More honour
to them both !

March 9th. I have to-day attended the funeral of Major-
General George Knox, better known in my old regiment as
' Curly ' Knox, his sobriquet being derived from his natural
crisp curly hair. I didn't know he was ill till I saw his death
in the papers. I had known him well since he was c^uite a

MY OLD FRIEND 'CURLY' KNOX. 385

lad, as his good father, who was also in the regime/it, used to
bring his only boy to the barracks. The old man was real
proud of his lad when he joined, and used often to dine on
guard. I have mentioned in my account of the Crimea that
' little' Knox had a bad fall there in 1856, but he met with a
worse accident afterwards in Dublin, when his horse having
fallen with him, the animal, in getting up, unfortunately trod
on poor ' Curly's ' face and terribly damaged his nose. He was
a real good chap, a good soldier, and a fine horseman.

At his graveside in Bromplon Cemetery there were very
many of his old friends, besides his widow and her two
brothers, Hugh Lonsdale and Lancelot Lowther. Whilst we
were mustering for the sad ceremony, Colonel Brabazon told
me of a curious coincidence — viz., that it was twenty-six years
ago that very day since ' Curly ' had ridden the winner of the
Grand Military for him at Rugby — King Arthur, by the Cure
out of Miss Agnes, dam of Lily Agnes, the dam of Ormonde ;
there's a pedigree difficult to beat ! Rugby was a fine natural
course and took some jumping, and required both rider and
horse to be of the resolute order. We buried our old comrade
in the next grave to his father, and then I and another old
friend of his changed our sorrowful garments and expressions,
and went down to Sandown, where we witnessed a splendid
race for the Grand Military Cup between ^sop and Midship-
mite. How poor ' Curly ' would have enjoyed seeing that
finish, and how heartily would he have congratulated Sir C.
Slade (Scots Guards), the winning jockey !

Death has been busy with my friends just lately ; Bobby
Harbord, one of the cheeriest, went olf very suddenly ; and
my two doctors within a week of each other : Barnard Holt, a
good man to hounds, had attained a good old age ; but Barton
Smith was just coming to his best, and had gone out in charge
of a rich Yankee for a trip round the world, bat died of
malarial fever after landing in Ceylon. He was not only a
clever doctor, but a sympathetic and kind-hearted friend — a
combination not met with every day. However, I must look
round for one of the same sort, for I am getting a poor, worn-
out old tool, and, though it is hardly fair to expect any medico
can combat with the ever-increasing and inconvenient fact
that you were ' born too soon,' yet, when pain and discomfort
worry you, it is very consolatory to be tended by one you
have every confidence in, and who you feel takes a friendly
interest in your well-being.

Writing of such-like matters reminds me of a vei y peculiar

0 c

386 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

effort of sympathy by an utterly unsympathetic, and some-
what low-lived man, towards his dying brother. This brother
was an old Eton friend of mine, a very clever and amusing
companion and a good sportsman, whom he will call ' Bob,'
and the younger brother ' Will.' Poor Bob's end was fast ap-
proaching, and it was only at intervals that he was sufficiently
conscious to recognize those around him ; his brother Will
was sitting by his bedside, occasionally scratching his un-
kempt head, and constantly gnawing the knobby top of an
ash-plant he always carried in his hand, but had never spoken
a word to his dying brother. A mutual friend said to him,
' Will, why don't you speak to poor Bobby ? it might cheer
hi-m to know you were near ! ' Will, with an effort, withdrew
the ash-plant from his mouth, and in his deep sepulchral voice
thus spoke : ' Why don't you rouse yourself. Bob, and take a
little stimulant ] ' Poor Bob ! he had long been beyond
rousing himself, and Will, seeing there was no chance of his
advice being taken, left, and at the first convenient ' pub '
took the stimulant himself, and never saw his brother
again.

Now, my readers, I am told by my Publisher and Editor
that I can pull up when I like. My task is over, and I
candidly admit I am real glad to think I can spend my
evenings as I like, and can dine out whenever I am asked.
Y"ou have little idea how irksome this peculiar literary effort
has been to your Author. I have never written a page except
after dark, for I found it next to useless to try and concen-
trate my thoughts on the days that are gone when the sun
was up. The busy bees in this vast hive of commerce and
gambling, are trying to gather honey (cdias chips) all the day
from every opening flower — id est, company-mongering, Stock
Exchange besting, or race-course frequenting; but when the
bees, drones, and workers get them to their separate hives, or,
in other words, their homes and families, theatres, and music-
halls, then I betake me to my chamber, where I can be still,
and jot down in a rough note-book my ideas and recollections.

When I have thus compiled sufficient copy, I summon my
shorthand-writer, and dictate to him in a couple of hours
what has, likely enough, taken me several evenings to scribble.
That done, he takes the result away and typewrites a dupli-
cate copy — one for me and one for my poor Editor — and thus
I have got through, in about thirteen months, what I ought
easily to have accomplished in half the time. This week,
these said reminiscences will reach the Publisher, and then

ABOUT JOSEPH LEWIS. 387

comes the rub — will they sell well ? shall I find a market for
my honey ? in other words, shall I get some ointment to give
flavour to the dry crust my expensive habits of bygone days
have relegated me to for existence in this vale of tears 1 Shall
I be able to pay off some of my most pressing debts, and, per-
chance, have a modest bit of ready to back my fancy with
when flitting round the pleasant places where the speedy
thoroughbred and the genteel penciller most do congregate]
Oh yes ! oh yes ! Leastways the Author — and, may I add 1
(yes, I think so) many of my readers — will hope so ; then
1894 will indeed be a cheery year for me. To each of my
subscribers I tender my hearty thanks, and wish they may
derive as much pleasure in perusing these pages, as it has cost
me bother in jotting down ' Fifty Years of My Life.'

I have been much assisted in writing this book by Joseph
Lewis, whose acquaintance I made at Newmarket in April
18^6, under the following circumstances : I was sitting on my
cob one morning, watching the different batches of horses
taking their exercise-gallops across the flat, and whilst talking
to Lord and Lady Zetland, I suddenly beheld an animal (I
found out it was a three-year-old aptly named Catastrophe)
overpower her tiny rider, whose bodily weight was only five
stone, and bolt with him near the site of the old betting-ring ;
and, as I watched, I saw him come into collision with one of
the posts, on which a notice was aflixed, and, to my horror,
saw the little lad knocked off the saddle and lie motionless
upon the ground. Fearing he must be badly hurt, I galloped
to where he lay, and at a glance discovered he was terribly
knocked about : one arm was broken, and the bone of his left
thigh was snapped, and protruding through his trousers. I
at once galloped back and obtained permission from Zetland
to allow his carriage (which was, fortunately, waiting at the
stand) to take the unfortunate lad to the Rous Memorial
Hospital, and then hurrying off to the town, I had two
doctors ready by the time the carriage reached the hospital.

The delicate little lad was quite unconscious, and the
doctors at first thought he was dead ; but, finding he still
breathed, they at once amputated his leg and set his arm ;
but it seemed as if the shock had been too much for him.
They had nearly given him up, wdien the assistant restored
respiration by pressing his chest up and down, much as you
and I use a pair of bellows, and after a protracted struggle
between life and death, the patient, under skilful treatment,
and much kind attention from the matron, gradually im-

388 FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE.

proved. J^ventually, after five months in the hospital, he was
sent home to his mother, a widow in London.

I got up a subscription for him, and in course of time had
him taught shorthand and type-writing, and with the aid of a
visit now and again to Elsham, where the country air did
wonders for him, the little man soon regained his strength,
and he now gets along at a good pace with his crutch, which he
prefers to a cork limb (and rightly too, I think), though the
good Duke of Portland has paid for an exquisite cork leg for
him ; which work of art Lewis one day brought up to my
lodgings, carrying it under his arm, to show me. He notes
down what I give him viva voce in shorthand, and then takes
it away and type-writes — for my Editor — the contents of this
my book. Never, I fancy, was a life nearer ebbing than
Lewis's, and it is quite certain that the comfortable carriage
of Lord Zetland and the well-appointed hospital (not, of
course, overlooking the skill of the doctors and the care of the
matron) were, under Providence, the means of preserving the
life of so useful a member of society. What should I have
done without him ?

Next to the Author, I suppose the kind friend who under-
takes to wade through sheets of ungrammatical composition is
most to be pitied, and, though some editors may have had
easy times of it, I fear mine has not ; and the uncertainty as
to whether any copy would reach him one week, and the cer-
tainty none would turn up the next, has, doubtless, been
very trying to my friend's nervous system. However, he has
survived it, and now his labours are pretty well over, and I
may be pardoned if I devote a few lines to the good qualities of
my old friend, Dicky Thorold, whom I have known very many
years, and whose people lived at Cuxwold in Lincolnshire, not
very far from Elsham. Their third son, Dick, started life as
a middy in the Navy, and, tiring of the sea, he was fortunate
enough, through the friendship of H.R.H. the Prince of
Wales, whom he accompanied to Canada in 1860, to get a
commission in the 10th Hussars. He served with that smart
regiment some eight years, and, as his lovely sister had
married Pichard Naylor, the squire of Hooton, and owner of
the grand old Stockwell — that prince of sires — and of Mac-
caroni, the winner of the Derby of 1863, the young Hussar
gave up the perpendicular style of horsemanship, and became
owner of some good light-weight hunters and a few steeple-
chase horses, the best of which were Merlin, Hilarity, and
Marmora. They were trained at Pitt Place by ' Fogo ' Pvow-

RING DOWN THE CURTAIN. 389

lands, and ridden with considerable success by their owner
(my Editor) at Rngby and other cross-country meetings. The
sailor, soldier, and steeplechase-rider some years since took to
church a charming lady, who, being of a literary turn of mind,
imbued her husband w^ith the lofty aspirations of authorship,
and under assumed names they have both written several very
pleasant novels. Between them, they had much to do with
inducing me to try my ' 'prentice hand ' at writing this book,
and I verily believe, had it not been for their combined reso-
lute driving, I should never have stuck to my work ; and I
ow^e so much to my Editor's suaviter in modo combined with
his for titer in re style of persuasion that I have at last
finished my task, and whether I win kudos or lose caste by
the venture, I know I should never have ' run the long course
and got over all the obstacles ' if it had not been for my good
friend and Editor ' Dick.'

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' I'he Wooing O't,' will consider it the most satisfactory of them all, as a piece of literary
work, as well as the most interesting as a story. Starting from a point so common as the
suppression of a will, the reader before long finds himself following her into the least ex-
pected yet the most natural developments, reaching poetical justice at the end by equally
natural and equally unlooked-for means. The portraiture is invariably adequate, and the
background well-filled, "—GVajj/itc.

ONE REASON WHY.

By Beatrice Whitby.

"Our old friend the governess makes a re-entry into fiction under the auspices of Bea-
trice "Whitby in 'One Reason Why.' Readers generally, however, will take a great deal
more interest, for once, in the children than in their instructress. 'Bay ' and 'EUie ' are
charmingly natural additions to the children of novel-land; so much so, that there is a
period when one dreads a death-bed scene for one of them — a fear which is happily un-
fulfilled. The name of the authoress will be remembered by many in conjunction with
' The Awakening of Mary Fenwick.' ''—Graphic.

" Every page of ' One Reason Why ' shows the mark of a fresh, vigorous mind. The
style is good— la some parts excellent. It is clear, expressive, and often rhythmic."—
Scotsman.

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Each in One Volume Crown Octavo, 3s. 6c?.

MAHME NOUSIE.

By G. Manville Fenn.

" Mr. Manville Fenn has the gift of not only seeing truth, but of drawing it pictur-
esquely. His portrait of Mahme Nousie is faithful as well as touching. Like all her race,
she is a being of one idea, and that idea is her child. To keep her away from the island,
to have her brought up as a lady, it is for this that Nousie has opened a cabaret for the
negroes and has sat at the receipt of custom herself. Of course she never once thinks of
the shock that the girl must undergo when she is plunged suddenly into such a position,
she never thinks about anything but the fact that she is to have her child again. Her
gradual awakening, and the struggles of both mother and daughter to hide their pain, are
finely told. So is the story of how they both remained ' faithful unto death.' History haa
a power to charm which is often lacking in tales of higher pretensions." — Saturday Review.

THE IDES OF MARCH.

By G. M. Robins.

" ' The Ides of March ' is a capital book. The plot does not depend for its interest upon
anything more fantastic than an old gentleman's belief that a family curse will take effect
unless his son marries by a given date. The complications which arise from this son's
being really in love with a girl whom he believes to have treated his friend, Captain Dis-
ney, very badly, and getting engaged to another girl, who transfers her affections to the
same Captain Disney, are skilfully worked out, while the dialogue is, in parts, extremely
bright, and the description of the founding of the Norchester branch of the Women's
Sanitary League really ftmny.". — Literary World

" ' The Ides of March,' in spite of its classical name, is a story of the present time, and
a very good one, full of lively conversation, which carries us merrily on, and not without
a fund of deeper feeling and higher principle."— (?«ardta«.

PART OF THE PROPERTY.

By Beatrice Whitby.

'•The book is a thoroughly good one The theme is fairly familiar,— the rebellion of a
spirited girl against a match which has been arranged for her without her knowledge or
consent ; her resentment at being treated, not as a woman with a heart and will, but as
' part of the property '; and her final discovery, which is led up to with real dramatic skill,
that the thing against which her whole nature had risen in revolt has become the one
desire of her heart. The mutual relations each to each of the impetuous Mcdge, her self-
willed, stubborn grandfather, who has arranged the match, and her lover Jocelyn, with
his loyal, devoted, sweetly-balanced nature, are portrayed with fine truth of insight ; but
perhaps the author's greatest triumph is the portrait of Mrg. Lindsay, who, with the
knowledge of the terrible skeleton in the cupboard of her apparently happy home, wears
so bravely the mask of light gaiety as to deceive everybody but the one man who knows
her secret It is refreshing to read a novel in which there is not a trace of slipshod work."
Spectator.

CASPAR BROOKE'S DAUGHTER.

By Adeline Sergeant.

*' ' Caspar Brooke's Daughter ' is as good as other stories from the same hand— perhaps
better, it is not of the sort that has much really marked originality or force of style, yet
there is a good deal of clever treatment in it. It was quite on the cards that Caspar him-
eelf might prove a bore or a prig or something else equally annoying. His daughter, too
— the fair and innocent convent-bred girl — would in some hands have been really tedioua.
The difficulties of the leading situation— a daughter obliged to pass from one parent to
another on account of their ' incompatibility ' — are cleverly conveyed. The wife's as well
as the husband's part is treated with feeling and reticence— qualities which towards the
end disappear to a certain extent. It is a Btory in somo ways— not in all— above the
average." — Athenxum.

LONDON : HURST AND BLACKETT, LIMITED.

Each in One Volume, Crown Octavo, 3s. %d.

JANET.

By Mrs. Oliphant.

" 'Janet ' is one of the ablest of the author's recent novels ; perhaps the ablest book of
the kind that she has produced since the Carlingford series; and its ability is all the more
striking because, while the character material is so simple, it is made to yield, without
any forced manipulation, a product of story which is rich in strong dramatic situations."
— Manchester Examiner.

" Mrs. Oliphant's hand has lost none of its cunning, despite her extraordinary— and, one
would think, exhausting— industry, 'Janet' may fairly rank among the best of her recent
productions."— 5^. James's Gazette.

"'Janet' is really an exciting story, and contains a great deal more plot and incident
than has been the case in any of Mrs. Oliphant's recent novels. The character sketches
are worthy of their authorship."— Queera.

A RAINBOW AT NIGHT.

By the Author of ' Mistress Beatrice Cope.'

"In common, we should imagine, with a large circle of novel-readers, we have been
rather impatiently looking forward to the time when M. E. Le Clerc, the author of ' Mis-
tress Beatrice Cope,' would produce a successor to that singularly interesting and charm-
ing tale. 'A Rainbow at Night,' though it certainly lacks the romantic and dramatic
character, combined with the flavour of a fascinating period, which gave special distinc-
tion to its forerunner, has no trace of falling off in the essential matters of construction,
portraiture, and style."— (rrai?^jc.

"Thanks to an interesting plot and a graphic as well as reflned manner, 'A Eainbow at
Night,' when once commenced, will not readily be laid aside." — Morning Post.

IN THE SUNTIME OF HER YOUTH.

By Beatrice Whitby.

" A description of a home stripped by the cold wind of poverty of all its comforts, but
which remains home still. The careless optimism of the head of the family would be in-
credible, if we did not know how men exist full of responsibilities yet free from solici-
tudes, and who tread with a jaunty step the very verge of ruin ; his inconsolable widow
would be equally improbable, if we did not meet every day with women who devote them-
selves to such idols of clay. The characters of their charming children, whose penury we
deplore do not deteriorate, as often happens in that cruel ordeal. A sense of fairness
pervades the book which is rarely found in the work of a lady. There is interest in it
from first to last, and its pathos is relieved by touches of true h.\imoviT.''— Illustrated
London News.

MISS BOUVERIE.

By Mrs. Molesworth.

" Mrs. Molesworth has long established a reputation as one of the freshest and most
graceful of contemporaneous writers of light fiction; but in 'Miss Bouverie' she has sur-
passed herself, and it is no exaggeration to say that this is one of the prettiest stories which
has appeared for years." — Morning Post.

" Everyone knows Mrs. Molesworth by her exquisite Christmas stories for children, and
can guess that any novel she writes is interesting, without sensationalism. The refine-
ment which pervades all Mrs. Molesworth's stories comes evidently from a pure, spiritual
nature, which unconsciously raises the reader's tone of thought, without any approach to
didactic wciting,''— Spectator.

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Each in One Volume, Croivn Octavo, 2>s. Qtd.

FROM HARVEST TO HAYTIME.

By the Author of ' Two English Girls.'

"The accomplished author of 'Two English Girls ' has produced another novel of con-
siderable merit. The story is one of a rural district in England, into which there intro-
duces himself one day a foot-sore, hungry, sick tramp, who turns out to be a young man
of education and consideration, whose career in the past is strange, and whose career in
the future the author has depicted as stranger still. The writer is successful chiefly in the
excellent life-like pictures which she presents of Kose Purley, the young lady who man-
ages the farm, and of the village doctor, Gabriel Armstrong. The book is one which may
be read with pleasure."— <Scof57n«re.

THE WINNING OF MAY.

By the Author of ' Dr. Edith Romney.'

" It is the writing of one who is determined, by dint of conscientious and painstaking
work, to win success from that portion of the public that does not look for the brilliant
achievements of genius, but can recognise meritorious work. The tale is an agreeable
one, and the character of Mr. Beresford is admirably drawn, showing considerable in-
sight and understanding. The author has a steady mastery over the story she wishes
to tell, and she tells it clearly and eloquently, without hesitation and without prolixity.
The book has this merit — the first merit of a novel — that the reader is interested in the
people rather than the plot, and that he watches the development of character rather
than that of event " — Literary ^Yorld.

SIR ANTHONY.

By Adeline Sergeant.

" It is a good story of the kind (and, on the whole, the excellent and wholesome kind)
which Miss Adeline Sergeant publishes at intervals with almost mechanical regularity.
Sir Anthony introduces two mysterious children, Henry and Elfrida, into his house, and
compels his wife, whom he dislikes, to protect and virtually adopt them. In due course
he tells these children, in his own vigorous Anglo-Saxon, 'You two are my eldest son
and daughter, lawlully begotten of my wife, once Mary Derrick, and known afterwards
as Mary Paston. You will be Sir Henry Kesterton when I die, and Elfrida is heiress
to her grandmother's money and jewels.' Lady Kesterton overhears this terrible
statement. He repeats it in a still more offensive form. Thereupon she gives him an
overdose of chloral, and fights desperately, and with temporary success, for what she re-
gards as the rights of her children, but especially of her son Gerard. Failure overtakes
her, and Elfrida, though not poor Henry, comes by her own. The plot is good and
thoroughly sustained from first to \&sV— Academy

MARY FENWICK'S DAUGHTER.

By Beatrice Whitby.

"This is one of the most delightful novels we have read for a long time. 'Bab ' Fen-
wick is an ' out of doors ' kind of girl, full of spirit, wit, go, and sin, both original and
acquired. Her lover. Jack, Is all that a hero should be, and great and magnanimous as
he is, finds some difficulty in forgiving the insouciante mistress all her little sins of omis-
sion and commission. When she finally shoots him ia the leg— by accident— the real
tragedy of the story begins. The whole is admirable, if a little long:'— Black and White

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In One Volume^ Crown Octavo^ 2>s. ^d.

T H UNDERBO L T

AN AUSTRALIAN STORY

BY

THE REV. J. MIDDLETON MACDONALD

BENGAL CHAPLAIN.

* We can congratulate the author on the production of a book at once amusing, interest-
ing, and graphic, which has already obtained considerable popularity."— J.fAenoEMffi.

'*The story is one crammed full of adventure, and the chapters that deal with the
problems of Imperial Federation are decidedly good reading from the patriotic stand-
point."—Z>ai7?/ Td graph.

"The book might well be placed in the hands of boys, who would enjoy the sympathetic
descriptions of football matches, races, and so forth, and at the same time make an
agreeable acquaintance with an important part of our Imperial possessions.' — The Globe.

" ' Thunderbolt ' is an Australian rival of Claude Duval, and Mr. Macdonald records his
daring feats with unflagging verve. Never was police officer more defied nor bewildered
than the Major Devereux, of brilliant Indian reputation, who, in the Australian bush,
finds that to catch a robber of Thnnderbolt's temperament and ability requires local
knowledge, as well as other gifts undreamt-of by the Hussar officer. Thunderbolt goes
to races under the Major's nose, dances in the houses of his friends, robs Her Majesty's
mails and diverse banks, but conducts himself with (on occasion) the chivalrous cour-
tesy that characterised his prototype. His tragical end is told with spirit, while the book
has excellent descriptions of Australian life, both in town and country."— i/ornt«^ Post.

"Anything which tends to draw nearer to each other in knowledge and sympathy the
members of the British Empire is good ; therefore we commend Mr. Macdonald's object in
writing this book. Though confessedly a story of a bushranger, the book contains many
descriptions of Australian life, both domestic and political, and it discusses local, social,
and imperial questions by the mouths of its characters. Mr. Macdonald is an Australian
born and bred, and he gives us plenty of ' local colour.' Though a parson, he is far from
squeamish, and his language is doubtless racy of the new country which he represents,
and there are several tales told at the expense of the 'cloth.' The story of the famous
bushranger, Thunderbolt, is told with considerable detail ; though we doubt if such a
blood-spilling robber would have behaved with quite such exemplary gallantry to ladies
as he is represented to have done. There are plenty of exciting incidents, including the
'bailing up' of banks, and the 'sticking up' of farms and public houses, lots of love-
making, and some clever characterization. Though the book has some defects, it yet
shows close observation, much sympathy, and considerable narrative power, and we shall
look forward with pleasure and interest to Mr. Macdonald's next venture. ' Thunderbolt •
is issued in one volume at 3s. 6d., and is therefore quite ' up to date ' in its form. It can
can be heartily recommended to all lovers of a good exciting story."— ^i. James Budget.

LONDON: HURST AND BLACKETT, LIMITED.

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