UNTS WITH JORROCKS

LLUSTRATED IN COLOUR BY
G.DENHOLM ARMOUR

presented to

of tbe

\Dlniver0it\> of {Toronto

Executors of Mrs. Hume Blake

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

Printed in 1908

1 Werry good indeed— most beautiful, in
fact — wot honour I arrive at!' Page 12

HUNTS WITH
JORROCKS

FROM HANDLEY CROSS BY ROBERT SURTEES

WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY

G!DENHOLM ARMOUR

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THE MUSSON BOOK CO. LIMITED

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INTRODUCTION

SURTEES, in writing an introduction to
Handley Cross in 1854, said, 'The reader
will have the kindness to bear in mind
that the work merely professes to be a tale, and
does not aspire to the dignity of a novel.'

However this may be, few books can so well
be taken up at any part and read without respect
to the story as Handley Cross. No apology is
therefore needed for collecting into a separate
volume some of Mr. Jorrocks's * Hunts,' possibly
the best descriptions of hunting ever written.

Surtees created the great character of Mr.
Jorrocks, and Leech ably translated the hero into
pictorial form.

The Jorrocks so evolved has almost become
an historical personage. And no more could a

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

new Jorrocks be created than a new ' Mr. Punch,'
therefore the acknowledgments of a modern
illustrator are due to John Leech as well as to
Surtees, the original creators of 'Jorrocks and
his deathless train.'

G. D. A.

CONTENTS

Chapter I

PAGE

MR JORROCKS 1

Chapter II
MR. JORROCKS'S JOURNAL 17

Chapter III
A QUIET BYE 38

Chapter IV
THE 'CAT AND CUSTARD-POT' DAY ... 66

Chapter V
PINCH-ME-NEAR FOREST 102

Chapter VI
THE SHORTEST DAY 121

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

Chapter VII

PAGE

POMPONIUS EGO 125

Chapter VIII
THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY .... 138

Chapter IX
THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY— CONTINUED . . 161

Chapter X
THE PROPHET GABRIEL 182

Chapter XI
ANOTHER LAST DAY 191

Chapter XII
THE WANING SEASON 205

ILLUSTRATIONS

1. ' Werry good indeed — most beautiful, in fact— wot honour I

arrive at ! ' (page 12), .... Frontispiece

Facing page

2. The Italian plaster of Paris poll-parrot merchant (page 21), 8

3. ' Talliho ! talliho ! hoop ! hoop ! hoop ! away ! away !

away!' holloaed Mat Maltby (page 30), ... 16

4. Bang, the horse shot past Mr. Jorrocks, Benjamin scream-

ing, yelling, and holding on by the mane (page 31), . 24

5. ' Come hup ! I say, you hugly beast ! ' roared he, giving

a tremendous jerk of the rein, upon which the horse
flew back, pulling Jorrocks downwards in the muddy
ditch (page 34), ....... 32

0. Xerxes, who had borne Ben gallantly before the body of
the pack, came tearing along, like a poodle with a
monkey on his back, when, losing the cry of hounds,
the horse suddenly stopped short, and off flew Ben-
jamin beside the fox, who, all wild with fear and rage,
seized Ben by the nose (page 35), .... 40

7. 'I hope you'll brick your neck, ye nasty ugly ould thief!'

(page 54), 48

8. 'Speak, I say!— vot are you?— Come hup, 'oss, I say!

Now for a murder ! ' (page 61), . . . .56

9. ' A-a-a sink ! — here 's canny ard sweetbreeks hissel ! '

(page 68), . . . .64

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

Facing page

10. ' A fox ! for a 'underd ! A fox ! for two-and-twenty

'underd ! A fox ! for a million ! A fox ! for 'alf the
national debt !' (page 76), . . . 72

11. Ravager's unerring nose proclaims the varmint across the

green headland (page 81), .... 80

12. ' Now lead him over ! ' cried Mr. Jorrocks, applying his

whip freely to Xerxes, and giving Ben a sly, acci-
dental cut (page 83), ...... 88

13. ' Wot a man it is to ride ! ' ejaculated Jorrocks, eyeing

Pigg putting one of Duncan Nevin's nags that had
never seen hounds before at a post and rail that
almost made him rise perpendicularly to clear
(page 91), 96

14. ' Yon 's it ! ' exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks after a careful survey

of the now developed scene. ' Yon 's it ! ' repeated he,
pointing with his ponderous whip towards a dark
mass in the distance (page 106), .... 104

15. 'What are you doin' here?' roared a stentorian voice

(page 108), 112

16. ' Mind the bull !' (page 122), 120

17. ' Gabriel Junks '....... 128

18. 'Who told you I was Ego?' . . . 'Whe tell'tme? Why,

Jorrocks. to be sure ! Whe else should ? ' (page 143), . 136

19. ' Ar niver gets off !' (page 167), . . . . . 144

20. ' Had bye, ard man ! Sink ! ar '11 be dingin on ye down !

Ye 've ne carle to ride for reputation ! ' (page 170), . 152

21. A hat is waved near the windmill on the rising ground

(page 177), . 160

ILLUSTRATIONS

Facing page

22. ' Look out of the winder, James, and see wot'un a night

it is.' . . . 'Hellish dark, and smells of cheese!' . . .
' Smells o' cheese ! smells o' cheese ! — vy, man, you 've
got your nob i' the cupboard' (page 186), .

23. ' The old customer ' (page 199), . . . .176

24. The death of 'the old customer' (page 203),

25. Walter Fleeceall's ominous visage appearing on one side

of the gate, and Duncan Kevin's on the other, caused
such a sensation, that (to avoid the dust) many of
the gentlemen got into the fields, and never came
near the gate again (page 208), . . . 192

CHAPTER I

MR. JORROCKS

'A man he was to all the country dear.'

WHERE can that be from, Binjimin?'
inquired Mr. Jorrocks of his boy of all
work, as the latter presented him with
a large double-headed letter, with a flourishing
coat of arms seal.

Mr. Jorrocks was a great city grocer of the old
school, one who was neither ashamed of his trade,
nor of carrying it on in a dingy warehouse that
would shock the managers of the fine mahogany-
countered, gilt-canistered, puffing, poet-keeping
establishments of modern times. He had been
in business long enough to remember each suc-
ceeding lord mayor before he was anybody —
'reg'lar little tuppences in fact,' as he used to
say. Not that Mr. Jorrocks decried the dignity

A 1

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

of civic honour, but his ambition took a different
turn. He was for the field, not the forum.

As a merchant he stood high — country traders
took his teas without tasting, and his bills were
as good as bank-notes. Though an unlettered
man he had great powers of thought and expres-
sion in his peculiar way. He was ' highly respect-
able,' as they say on 'Change — that is to say, he
was very rich, the result of prudence and economy
— not that he was stingy, but his income out-
stripped his expenses, and money like snow rolls
up amazingly fast.

A natural born sportsman, his lot being cast
behind a counter instead of in the country, is
one of those frolics of fortune that there is no
accounting for. To remedy the error of the blind
goddess, Mr. Jorrocks had taken to hunting as
soon as he could keep a horse, and though his
exploits were long confined to the suburban county
of Surrey, he should rather be * credited ' for keen-
ness in following the sport in so unpropitious a
region, than ' debited ' as a Cockney and laughed

2

MR JORKOCKS

at for his pains. But here the old adage of ' where
ignorance is bliss,' etc., came to his aid, for before
he had seen any better country than Surrey, he
was impressed with the conviction that it was
the 'werry best,' and their hounds the finest in
England.

'Doesn't the best of everything come to
London ? ' he would ask, ' and doesn't it follow
as a nattaral consequence, that the best 'unting
is to be had from it ? '

Moreover, Mr. Jorrocks looked upon Surrey as
the peculiar province of Cockneys — we beg pardon
— Londoners. His earliest recollections carried
him back to the days of Alderman Harley, and
though his participation in the sport consisted in
reading the meets in a bootmaker's window in
the Borough, he could tell of all the succeeding
masters, and criticise the establishments of Clayton,
Snow, Maberly, and the renowned Daniel Haigh.

It was during the career of the latter great
sportsman, that Mr. Jorrocks shone a brilliant
meteor in the Surrey hunt — he was no rider, but

3

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

with an almost intuitive knowledge of the run of a
fox, would take off his hat to him several times in
the course of a run. No Saturday seemed perfect
unless Mr. Jorrocks was there; and his great
chestnut horse, with his master's coat-laps flying
out beyond his tail, will long be remembered on
the outline of the Surrey hills. These are recollec-
tions that many will enjoy, nor will their interest
be diminished as time throws them back in the
distance. Many bold sportsmen, now laid on the
shelf, and many a bold one still going, will glow
with animation at the thoughts of the sport they
shared in with him.

Of the start before daybreak — the cries of the
cads — the mirth of the lads — the breakfasts at
Croydon — the dear * Derby Arms,' — the cheery
Charley Morton ; then the ride to the meet — the
jovial greeting — the glorious find, and the exhila-
rating scrambles up and down the Surrey hills. —
Then if they killed ! — O, joy ! unutterable joy !
How they holloaed! How they hooped! How
they lugged out their half-crowns for Tom Hill,

4

MR JORKOCKS

and returned to town flushed with victory and
eau-de-vie.

But we wander —

When the gates of the world were opened by
railways, our friend's active mind saw that business
might be combined with pleasure, and as first one
line opened and then another, he shot down into
the different countries — bags and all — Beckford
in one pocket — order book in the other — hunting
one day and selling teas another. Nay, he some-
times did both together, and they tell a story of
him in Wiltshire, holloaing out to a man who had
taken a fence to get rid of him, * Did you say two
chests o' black and one o' green ? '

Then when the Great Northern opened he took
a turn down to Peterborough, and emboldened
by what he saw with Lord Fitzwilliam, he at length
ventured right into the heaven of heavens — the
grass — or what he calls the ' cut 'em down ' coun-
tries.1 What a commotion he caused! Which

1 'Cut 'em down and hang 'em up to dry.' — Leicestershire
phrase.

5

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

is Jorrocks ? Show me Jorrocks ! Is that old
Jorrocks ! and men would ride to and fro eyeing
him as if he were a wild beast. Gradually the
bolder ventured a word at him — observed it was
a fine day — asked him how he liked their country ?
or their hounds. Next, perhaps, the M. F. H.
would give him a friendly lift — say 'good-morn-
ing, Mr. Jorrocks' — then some of what Jorrocks
calls the * hupper crusts ' of the hunt would begin
talking to him, until he got fairly launched among
them — when he would out with his order book
and do no end of business in tea. None but
Jorrocks and Co.'s tea goes down in the midland
counties. Great, however, as he is in the country,
he is equally famous in London, where his ' Read-
ings in Beckford ' and sporting lectures in Oxenden
Street procured him the attentions of the police.

Mr. Jorrocks had now passed the grand climac-
teric, and balancing his age with less accuracy
than he balanced his books, called himself some-
where between fifty and sixty. He wouldn't own
to three pund, as he called sixty, at any price.

6

MR JORROCKS

Neither could he ever be persuaded to get into
the scales to see whether he was nearer eighteen
* stun ' or twenty. He was always ' 'ticlarly en-
gaged' just at the time, either goin' to wet
samples of tea with his traveller, or with some
one to look at 'an oss,' or, if hard pressed, to
take Mrs. J. out in the chay. 'He didn't ride
stipple chases,' he would say, 'and wot matter
did it make ow much he weighed ? It was alto-
gether 'twixt him and his oss, and weighin' wouldn't
make him any lighter.' In person he was a stiff,
square-built, middle-sized man, with a thick neck
and a large round head. A woolly broad-brimmed
lo wish -crowned hat sat with a jaunty side-long
sort of air upon a bushy nut-brown wig, worn for
comfort and not deception. Indeed his grey
whiskers would have acted as a contradiction if
he had, but deception formed no part of Mr.
Jorrocks's character. He had a fine open coun-
tenance, and though his turn-up nose, little grey
eyes, and rather twisted mouth, were not hand-
some, still there was a combination of fun and

7

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

good -humour in his looks that pleased at first
sight, and made one forget all the rest. His
dress was generally the same — a puddingey white
neckcloth tied in a knot, capacious shirt frill (shirt
made without collars), a single-breasted high-
collared buff waistcoat with covered buttons, a
blue coat with metal ones, dark blue stockingnet
pantaloons, and hessian boots with large tassels,
displaying the liberal dimensions of his full, well-
turned limbs. The coat pockets were outside, and
the back buttons far apart.

His business place was in St. Botolph's Lane,
in the City, but his residence was in Great Coram
Street. This is rather a curious locality, — city
people considering it west, while those in the west
consider it east. The fact is, that Great Coram
Street is somewhere about the centre of London,
near the London University, and not a great way
from the Euston station of the Birmingham railway.
Jorrocks says it is close to the two best cover
hacks in the world, the Great Northern and Euston
stations. Approaching it from the east, which

8

The Italian plaster of Paris poll-parrot
merchant. Page 21

MR. JORROCKS

seems the proper way of advancing to a city
man's residence, you pass the Foundling Hospital
in Guildford Street, cross Brunswick Square, and
turning short to the left you find yourself in
* Great Coram Street.' Neat unassuming houses
form the sides, and the west end is graced with
a building that acts the double part of a reading-
room and swimming-bath; 'literature and lave-
ment ' is over the door.

'Where can this be from, Binjimin?' inquired
Mr. Jorrocks, taking the letter before mentioned
as he sat in his red morocco hunting-chair in the
back drawing-room in Great Coram Street.

' 'Andley Cross ! Where is that ? ' said he,
looking at the post-mark. ' Knows no one there,
I think,' continued he, cutting the paper on each
side of the seal with a pair of large scissors kept
in the capacious black inkstand before him.
Having opened the envelope, a large sheet of
white paper and a gilt-edged pink satin-paper
note, headed with an embossed stag-hunt, pre-
sented themselves. He opened the note first.
B 9

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

The writing was unknown to him, so he took up
the other, and folding it out, proceeded to read
the contents. Thus it ran : —

TO JOHN JOEROCKS, ESQ.
' HONOURED SIR,

' The committee of management of the Handley Cross
foxhounds being under the necessity of relinquishing their
undertaking, we, the undersigned keen and determined
sportsmen, having experienced the evils of a divided master-
ship, and feeling fully impressed with the importance of
having a country hunted single-handed by a gentleman of
known talent and experience, who will command the respect
and obedience of his followers and the admiration of the
world, look up to you, sir, as pre-eminently qualified for the
distinguished, honourable, and much coveted situation.'

6 My vig!' exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, jumping
from his chair, slapping his thigh, and hopping
round the table, taking up three or four holes of
his face with delight — 'My vig! who would have
ever thought of such a thing ! — O, John Jorrocks !
John Jorrocks ! you are indeed a most fortunate
man ! a most lucky dog ! O dear ! O dear ! Was
ever anything so truly delightful ! ' Some seconds

10

MR JOKROCKS

elapsed ere our worthy friend could compose
himself sufficiently to look again at the letter. At
last he resumed : —

'When we consider, sir,' it continued, 'the brilliant
position you have long achieved in that most illustrious of
all hunts, " the Surrey," and the glorious character you have
gained as an ardent admirer of field sports, we feel most
deeply and sincerely sensible that there is no one to whom
we can more safely confide this important trust than
yourself.'

' Capital ! bravo ! werry good indeed ! ' ex-
claimed Mr. Jorrocks, laying down the letter again
for the purpose of digesting what he had read.
' Capital, indeed,' he repeated, nursing one leg
over the other, and casting his eyes up at a dirty
fly-catcher dangling over his head. Thus he sat
for some moments in mute abstraction. At length
he let down his leg and took up the letter.

' In conclusion, sir/ it ended, ' we beg to assure you that
you possess alike the confidence and esteem of the inhabitants
of this town and neighbourhood ; and in the event of your
acceding to our wishes, and becoming the manager of our
magnificent hunt, we pledge ourselves to afford you our most

11

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

cordial and strenuous support, and to endeavour by every
means in our power to make you master of the Handley Cross
foxhounds, at the smallest possible expense and inconvenience
to yourself.

(Signed) MISEERIMUS DOLEFUL, M. C.,

Captain Half-pay.

DUNCAN NEVIN.
ALFRED BOLTEM.
SIMON HOOKEM.
WALTER FLEECEALL.
JUDAS TURNBILL.
MICHAEL GRASPER.'

'Capital, indeed!' exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks,
laying down the letter, clapping and rubbing his
hands ; * werry good indeed — most beautiful, in
fact — wot honour I arrive at ! — wonder what these
chaps are now ! ' added he ; saying which, in
taking up the letter his eye caught the pink satin-
paper note. It was in the same fine lady-like
running hand as the letter, and purported to be
from Captain Doleful, explanatory of their motives,
and vouching for the respectability of himself and
brother requisitionists. Mr. Jorrocks was all
delight, and being the child of impulse and

12

MR JORROCKS

generous feelings, his joy found vent in stamping
on the floor, thereby summoning his servant the
aforesaid Benjamin into his presence.

Benjamin, or Bmj^min, as Mr. Jorrocks pro-
nounced the name, was one of those mischievous
urchins that people sometimes persuade them-
selves do the work of a man without the wages.
He was a stunted, pasty-faced, white-headed,
ginnified boy, that might be any age from eight to
eighteen, and as idle and mischievous a brat as it
was possible to conceive ; sharp as a needle, and
quick as lightning, he was far more than a match
for his over-easy master, whom he cheated and
deceived in every possible way. Whatever went
wrong, Benjamin always had an excuse for it,
which generally transferred the blame from his
own to some one else's shoulders, — a piece of
ingenuity which required no small degree of
dexterity, inasmuch as the light-porter of the
warehouse, Betsey, a maid of all work, and a girl
under her, were all he had to divide it among.
Not a note came into the house, or a letter went

13

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

out of it, but Benjamin mastered its contents;
and Mrs. Jorrocks was constantly losing things
out of the store-room and closets, which never
could be traced to anybody.

One unlucky Sunday morning, indeed, Mr.
Jorrocks happened to turn back suddenly on his
way to church, and caught him sitting in his easy-
chair at the breakfast-table, reading Bells Life in
London, and scooping the marmalade out of the
pot with his thumb, when he visited Benjamin's
back with a summary horse-whipping; but that
was the only time, during a period of three years,
that he ever was caught in a scrape he could not
get out of. This might be partly attributable to
Betsey finding it convenient to be in with Benja-
min, who winked at the visits of a genteel young
man from a neighbouring haberdasher's. The poor
maid under Betsey, and the light-porter, who was
generally absent, were therefore the usual scape-
goats, or somebody else's servant, who had
happened to come with a message or parcel.
Such was Mr. Jorrocks's domestic establishment,

14

MR JORROCKS

which, like most masters, he either thought, or
affected to think, very perfect.

We left our friend stamping for Benjamin, who
made his appearance as soon as he could slip
downstairs and come up again, he having been
watching his master through the keyhole since
delivering the letter.

• •••••

' Now, Binjimin,' said Mr. Jorrocks, eyeing him
with one of his benevolent looks, and not knowing
exactly what to say ; ' now, Binjimin,' he repeated,

* are the 'osses all right ? '

' Yes, sir, and the wehicle too.'

'Werry good,' replied Mr. Jorrocks — 'werry
good,' taking a half-emptied pot of Lazenby's
marmalade out of a drawer in his library table.

* See now ! there 's a pot of marmeM for you ! '
(Mr. Jorrocks had the knack of making the most
of what he did, and treated the half pot as a whole
one) 'and mind be a good bouy, and I make no
doubt you'll rise to be a werry great man —
nothing gains man or louy the respect and esteem

15

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

of the world so much as honesty, sobriety, and
cleanliness.'

Mr. Jorrocks paused. — He would have finished
with a moral, wherein his own fortune should
have furnished the example, but somehow or
other he could not turn it at the moment, so after
scrutinising Benjamin's dirty face for a second, he
placed the marmalade pot in his hand, and said,
* Now go and wesh your mug.'

16

' Talliho! talliho! hoop! hoop! hoop! away!
away! away!' holloaed Mat Maltby.

Page 30

MR. JORROCKS'S JOURNAL

CHAPTER II

MR. JORROCKS'S JOURNAL

A PAGE or two from Mr. Jorrocks's Journal,
which he has kindly placed at our dis-
posal, will perhaps best elucidate the
doings of the early days of his reign over the
Handley Cross foxhounds.

' Saturday. — Awoke with desperation 'ead ach
— " Dragon " brandy carn't be good — Dreamed the
Lily-vite-sand train had run off with me, and
chucked me into the channel — Called to Binjimin
— the boy snorin' sound asleep ! — only think,
snorin' sound asleep, the werry mornin' after comin'
down to whip into a pack of fox'ounds — fear he
has no turn for the chase. Pulled his ears, and
axed him what he was snorin' for. Swore he
wasn't snorin ! — Never heard a boy of his size tell
C 17

HUNTS WITH JOHROCKS

such a lie in my life. Eigged for 'unting, only
putting on my hat 'stead of my cap, — and on
'orseback by daylight — Xerxes full of fun —
Arterxerxes dullish — Bin. rode the latter, in his
new tops and spurs — " Now," said I to Bin. as we
rode to the kennel, "you are hentering upon a
most momentous crisis — If you apply yourself
diligently and assiduously to your callin', and learn
to be useful in kennel, and to cheer the 'ounds
with a full melodious woice — such a woice, in fact,
as the tall lobster-merchant with the green plush
breeches and big calves, that comes along our
street of a still evenin', with his basket on his
'ead, cryin', ' ~Lov-sters I fine LoB-sfers ! ' has, there
is no sayin' but in course of time you may
arrive at the distinguished 'onour of readin' an
account of your doin's in Bell's Life or the
Field-, but if you persist in playin' at marbles,
chuck farthin', and flyin' kites, 'stead of attendin'
in the stable, I'll send you back to the charity
school from whence you came, where you'll be
rubbed down twice a day with an oak towel, and

18

MR JOKROCKS'S JOURNAL

kept on chick-weed and grunsell like a canary-
bird, — mark my words if I von't."

' Found Mat Maltby at the kennel weshin' the
flags with a new broom, and 'issing for 'ard life —
werry curious it is, wet or dry, soft or 'ard, these
chaps always 'iss. 'Ounds all delighted to see
me — stood up in my stirrups looking over the
rails, 'olloain', cheerin', and talkin' to them.
Yoicks Dexterous ! Yoicks Luckey-lass ! Yoicks
Rallywood ! Good dog. Threw bits of biscuit as
near each of them as I could pitch them, calling
the 'ounds by name, to let them see that I knew
them — Some caught it in their mouths like Hindian
jugglers — " Let 'em out, Mat," at last cried I, when
back went the bolt, open went the door, and out
they rushed full cry, like a pent-up 'urricane,
tearin' down Hexworthy Street into Jireth Place,
through Mornington Crescent, by the Bramber
Promenade into the High Street, and down it
with a crash and melody of sweet music that
roused all the old water-drinkin' maids from their
pillows, galvanised the watchmen, astonished the

19

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

gas-light man, who was making way for daylight,
and reg'larly rousing the whole inhabitants of the
place.

'Clapt spurs on Xerxes and arter them,
holloain' and crackin' my whip, but deuce a bit
did they 'eed me — on they went! sterns up and
'eads too, towlin', and howlin', and chirpin', as
though they had a fox afore them. Butchers'
dogs, curs, setters, mastiffs, mongrels of all sorts
and sizes, flew out as they went, some joinin' cry,
others worryin' and fightin' their way, but still the
body of the pack kept movin' onward at a splittin'
pace, down the London Road, as wild as hawks,
without turning to the right or the left, until they
all flew, like a flock of pigeons, clean out of sight.
"Oh, dear! oh, dear!" cried I, pullin' up, fairly
exhausted, at the third milestone, by the cross-
roads from Cadger's House and Knowlton, " I 've
lost my 'ounds, and I 'm ruined for ever." " Blow
your 'orn!" cried a countryman who was sittin'
on the stone, "they are not far afore you, and
the dogs not far afore them " : but blow me tight,

20

MR JORROCKS'S JOURNAL

I was so blown myself, that I couldn't raise a
puff — easier to blow one's 'orse than one's 'orn.
To add to my grief and infinite mortification,
Binjimin came poundin' and clatterin' along the
hard road, holloain' out as he went, "Buy LOB-
ster-r ! fine LoB-s&r-r-r ! "

'The pack had turned down Greenford Lane,
and I jogged after them, sorely puzzled, and
desperate perplexed. On I went for a mile or
more, when the easterly breeze bore the 'ounds'
cry on its wings, and pushin' forward, I came to
a corner of the road, where the beauties had
thrown up short before an Italian plaster of Paris
poll-parrot merchant, who, tray on head, had the
whole pack at bay around him, bellowin' and
howlin' as though they would eat him. "Get
round them, Binjimin," cried I, "and flog them
away to me," and takin' out my 'orn, I blew for
'ard life, and what with view halloas, and cheerin',
and coaxin', with Bin. at their sterns, succeeded
in gettin' most of them back to their kennel.
Plaster of Paris poll-parrot merchant followed all

21

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

the way, indulgin' in frightful faces and an un-
known tongue.'

The Journal then branches off into a mem.
of what he did at breakfast in the eating line,
how he paid his bill at the * Dragon/ after disputing
the brandy items, adding that though attendance
was charged in the bill, the servants all evinced
a disposition to shake hands with him at parting,
which he thought was making matters worse in-
stead of better. He also recorded how he moved
to Diana Lodge, which he did not find so com-
modious as he expected. The day's entry closes
with a mem. that he had stewed beef-steaks for
dinner.

' Sunday. — Up by cock-crow, and into the
kennel. Dexterous and Mercury been fightin'
about a bone, and Mercury got a bloody ear.
Lector'd Bin. and Mat upon the unpropriety of
leavin' bones about. Made Bin. call over the
'ounds by name, double-thongin' him when he
made a mistake.

'Mrs. Jorrocks in a desperation fidget to get

22

MR JOKROCKS'S JOURNAL

to church. Never know'd her so keen afore.
Secret out — got a new gown, and a bonnet like
a market gardener's flower-basket. With all her
keenness contrived to start just as the bells gave
over ringin' — Beadle, in blue and gold, with a
cocked 'at on his head, and a white wand in his
hand, received us at the door, and handed us over
to the sexton, in deep blue, bound with black
velvet, who paraded us up the 'isle, and placed
us with much clatterin' in the seat of honour just
afore the pulpit. Church desperate full, and
every eye turned on the M. F. H. — Mrs. J.
thought they were lookin' at her! poor deluded
body. Belinda, dressed in lavender, and lookin'
werry wholesome. Lessons long — sermon excellent
— all about 'onering one's superiors, meaning the
M. F. H. doubtless.

'After church, friend Miserrimus came and
shook 'ands with us all round. Gave him "un-
bounded pleasure" to see us all so bloomin' and
well. Mrs. J. delighted, and axed him to dine.
Five, and no waitin'. Walked down High Street.

23

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

Mrs. Jorrocks on one arm, Belinda on t'other.
Doleful in the gutter. Fine thing to be a great
man. Everybody stared — many took off their 'ats.
— Country people got off the flags. " That 's Mr.
Jorrocks," said one. " Which ? " cried another.
" Do show him to me," begged a third. " Jorrocks
for ever ! " cried the children. Nothing like being
a great man. Kennel at two — feedin'-time —
plaster of Paris poll-parrot merchant outside, still
in a great rage, but didn't catch what he said.
Many people came and wondered how I knew
the names of the 'ounds — all so much alike, they
said, Take them a lifetime to know them. Miser-
able ignoramuses.

'Monday. — At the kennel by daylight. Bin-
jimin, as usual, to be kicked awake. The bouy
seems to take no interest in the thing. Fear all
the lickin' in the world von't drive a passion for
the chase into him. Threatened to cut his coat
into ribbons on his back, if he didn't look lively.
Mat Maltby recommended the 'ounds to be coupled
this time — condescended to take his advice. Told

24

Bang, the horse shot past Mr. Jorrocks,
Benjamin screaming, yelling, and holding
on by the mane. Page 3 1

MR JOEKOCKS'S JOURNAL

Bin. not to cry "boil'd Jnov-sters" as he did on
Saturday, but to sing out in a cheerful woice, rich
and melodious, like the boiled-lobster merchant.
Axed what to sing out ? Why, " get on 'ounds,"
ven 'ounds 'ang (hang) back, and " gently there ! "
when they gets too far forward, said I. Put
Xerxes' head towards kennel door this time, in-
stead of from it. Worth a golden sovereign of
any man's money to see 'ounds turn out of kennel.
Sich a cry ! sich music ! old Dexterous jumped up
at Xerxes, and the hanimal all but kicked me
over his 'ead. Pack gathered round me, some
jumpin' up against the 'oss's side, others standin'
bayin', and some lookin' anxiously in my face, as
much as to say, which way this time, Mr. Jorrocks?
Took them a good long strong trot to the pike,
near Smarden, and round by Billingbrook, letting
them see the deer in Chidfold Park. Quite steady
— make no doubt they will be a werry superior
pack in less than no time — make them as handy
as ladies'-maids, — do everything but pay their own
pikes in fact. Wonder Doleful don't ride out.
D 25

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

Keen sportsman like him, one would think would
like to see the 'ounds.'

The Journal proceeds in this strain for two
or three days more, Mr. Jorrocks becoming better
satisfied with his pack each time he had them
out. On the Friday he determined on having
a bye-day on the following one, for which purpose
he ordered his secretary to be in attendance, to
show him a likely find in a country where he
would not disturb many covers. Of course the
meet was to be kept strictly private, and of course,
like all ' strict secrets,' Fleeceall took care to tell
it to half the place. Still, as it was a ' peep-of-day
affair,' publicity did not make much matter, in-
asmuch as few of the Handley Cross gentry loved
hunting better than their beds.

Fleeceall's situation was rather one of difficulty,
for he had never been out hunting but once, and
that once was in a gig, but knowing, as Dr. John-
son said, that there are * two sorts of information,
one that a man carries in his head, and the other
that he knows where to get ' ; nothing daunted by

26

ME. JORROCKS'S JOURNAL

the mandate, he repaired to Mat Maltby, the elder,
a cunning old poacher, who knew every cover in
the county, upon whose recommendation it was
arranged that a bag-fox, then in the possession
of a neighbour, should be shook in South Grove,
a long slip of old oak, with an excellent bottom
for holding a fox. All things being thus arranged,
as Mr. Jorrocks conceived, with the greatest
secrecy, he went to bed early, and long before
it was light, he lay tumbling and tossing about,
listening to the ticking of the clock below, and
the snoring of Benjamin above.

At last day began to dawn, and having sought
Ben's room and soused the boy with a pitcher
of cold water, Mr. Jorrocks proceeded to jump
into his hunting clothes, consisting of a roomy
scarlet coat, with opossum pockets and spoon
cuffs, drab shags, and mahogany-coloured tops.
Arrived at the kennel, he found Fleeceall there,
on his old gig mare, with his hands stuck in
the pockets of a dirty old mackintosh, which
completely enveloped his person. * Is Miserrimus

27

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

'ere?' inquired Mr. Jorrocks, all fuss and flurry
on discovering the person of his secretary. ' Well,
carn't wait — sorry for it — know better another
time ' ; and thereupon he ordered out the horses,
gave Ben a leg up on to Xerxes, mounted
Arterxerxes himself, the hounds were unken-
nelled with a melodious rush, and desiring
Fleeceall to lead the way, Mr. Jorrocks got
the glad pack about him, and went away for
South Grove, with a broad grin of satisfaction on
his jolly face.

The day seemed auspicious, and there was a
balmy freshness in the air that promised well for
scent. Added to this, Mr. Jorrocks had cut the
left side of his chin in shaving, which he always
considered ominous of sport. — Bump, bump, jolt,
jolt, jog, jog, he went on his lumbering hunter,
now craning over its neck to try if he could see
its knees, now cheering and throwing bits of
biscuit to the hounds, now looking back to see
if Benjamin was in his right place, and again
holloaing out some witticism to Fleeceall in

28

MR. JORROCKS'S JOURNAL

advance. Thus they reached the rushy, unen-
closed common, partially studded with patches of
straggling gorse, which bounds the east side of
South Grove, and our sporting master having wet
his forefinger on his tongue, and held it up to
ascertain which quarter the little air there was
came from, so as to give the pack the benefit of
the wind, prepared for throwing off without delay.
Having scrutinised the wood fence most atten-
tively, he brought his horse to bear upon the
rotten stakes and witherings of a low, ill made-up
gap. In the distance Jorrocks thought of jumping
it, but he changed his mind as he got nearer.
'Pull out this stake, Binjimin,' exclaimed he to
the boy, suddenly reining up short ; ' Jamp a top
on 't ! jamp a top on 't ! ' added he, ' so as to level
the 'edge with the ground,' observing, ' these little
places often give one werry nasty falls.' This feat
being accomplished, Benjamin climbed on to
Xerxes again, and Jorrocks desiring him to keep
on the right of the cover, parallel with him, and
not to be sparing of his voice, rode into the wood

29

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

after his hounds, who had broken away with a
whimper, ripening into a challenge, the moment
he turned his horse's head towards the cover.

What a cry there was ! The boy with the fox
in a bag had crossed the main ride about a minute
before the hounds entered, and they took up the
scent in an instant. — Mr. Jorrocks thought it was
the morning drag, and screamed and holloaed
most cheerily — ' Talliho ! ' was heard almost in-
stantaneously at the far end of the wood, and
taking out his horn, Mr. Jorrocks scrambled
through the underwood, breaking the briars and
snapping the hazels, as he went. Sure enough the
fox had gone that way, but the hounds were run-
ning flash in a contrary direction. * Talliho!
talliho ! hoop ! hoop ! hoop ! away ! away !
away!' holloaed Mat Maltby, who, after shaking
the fox most scientifically, had pocketed the
sack.

Twang, twang, twang, went Mr. Jorrocks's horn,
sometimes in full, sometimes in divided notes and
half screeches. The hounds turn and make for

30

MR JORROCKS'S JOURNAL

the point. Governor, Adamant, Dexterous, and
Judgment came first, then the body of the pack,
followed by Benjamin at full gallop on Xerxes,
with his face and hands all scratched and bleed-
ing from the briars and brushwood, that Xerxes,
bit in teeth, had borne him triumphantly through.
Bang, the horse shot past Mr. Jorrocks, Benjamin
screaming, yelling, and holding on by the mane,
Xerxes doing with him just what he liked, and
the hounds getting together and settling to the
scent. ' My vig, wot a splitter ! ' cried Mr. Jorrocks
in astonishment, as Xerxes took a high stone wall
out of the cover in his stride, without disturbing
the coping; but bringing Ben right on to his
shoulder — ' Hoff, for a fi' pun note ! hoff for a
guinea 'at to a Gossamer ! ' exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks,
eyeing his whipper-in's efforts to regain the saddle.
— A friendly chuck of Xerxes' head assists his
endeavours, and Ben scrambles back to his place.
A gate on the left let Mr. Jorrocks out of cover,
on to a good sound sward, which he prepared to
take advantage of by getting Arterxerxes short

31

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

by the head, rising in his stirrups and hustling
him along as hard as ever he could lay legs to
the ground. An open gate at the top fed the
flame of his eagerness, and, not being afraid of
the pace so long as there was no leaping, Jorrocks
sent him spluttering through a swede turnip field
as if it was pasture. Now sitting plum in his
saddle, he gathered his great whip together, and
proceeded to rib-roast Arterxerxes in the most
summary manner, calling him a great, lurching,
rolling, lumbering beggar, vowing that if he didn't
lay himself out and go as he ought, he 'd * boil him
when he got 'ome.' So he jerked and jagged, and
kicked and spurred, and hit and held, making
indifferent progress compared to his exertions.
The exciting cry of hounds sounded in front, and
now passing on to a very heavy, roughly ploughed
upland, our master saw the hind-quarters of some
half-dozen horses, the riders of which had been
in the secret, disappearing through the high quick
fence at the top.

'Dash my vig, here's an unawoidable leap, I

32

'Come hup! I say you hugly beast /' roared
he, giving a tremendous jerk of the rein,
upon which the horse flew back, pulling
J or rocks downwards in the muddy ditch.

Page 34

!
•

....

i
K v-

MR JORROCKS'S JOUKNAL

do believe,' said he to himself, as he neared the
headland, and saw no way out of the field but
over the fence — a boundary one; 'and a werry
hawkward place it is too,' added he, eyeing it
intently, 'a yawnin' blind ditch, a hugly quick
fence on the top, and maybe, a plough or 'arrow,
turned teeth huppermost, on the far side.

'Oh, John Jorrocks, John Jorrocks, my good
frind, I wishes you were well over with all my
'eart — terrible place, indeed ! Give a guinea 'at to
be on the far side,' so saying, he dismounted, and
pulling the snaffle-rein of the bridle over his
horse's head, he knotted the lash of his ponderous
whip to it, and very quietly slid down the ditch
and climbed up the fence, ' who-a-ing ' and crying
to his horse to 'stand still,' expecting every minute
to have him a-top of him. The taking-on place
was wide, and two horses having gone over before,
had done a little towards clearing the way, so
having gained his equilibrium on the top, Mr.
Jorrocks began jerking and coaxing Arterxerxes
to induce him to follow, pulling at him much in
E 33

HUNTS WITH JOKKOCKS

the style of a schoolboy who catches a log of wood
in fishing.

* Come hup ! my man,' cried Mr. Jorrocks coax-
ingly, jerking the rein ; but Arterxerxes only stuck
his great resolute fore legs in advance, and pulled
the other way. ' Gently, old fellow ! ' cried he,
* gently, Arterxerxes, my bouy!' dropping his
hand, so as to give him a little more line, and then
trying what effect a jerk would have, in inducing
him to do what he wanted. Still the horse stood
with his great legs before him. He appeared to
have no notion of leaping. Jorrocks began to wax
angry. ' Dash my vig, you hugly brute ! ' he ex-
claimed, grinning with rage at the thoughts of the
run he was losing, * Dash my vig, if you don't mind
what you 're arter, 1 11 get on your back, and bury
my spurs in your sides. COME HUP ! I say, YOU
HUGLY BEAST ! ' roared he, giving a tremendous
jerk of the rein, upon which the horse flew back,
pulling Jorrocks downwards in the muddy ditch.
Arterxerxes then threw up his heels and ran away,
whip and all.

34

MR JORROCKS'S JOURNAL

Meanwhile, our bagman played his part gal-
lantly, running three-quarters of a ring, of three-
quarters of a mile, chiefly in view, when, feeling
exhausted, he threw himself into a furze-patch,
near a farm-yard, where Dauntless very soon had
him by the back, but the smell of the aniseed,
with which he had been plentifully rubbed, dis-
gusting the hound, he chucked him in the air and
let him fall back in the bush. Xerxes, who had
borne Ben gallantly before the body of the pack,
came tearing along, like a poodle with a monkey
on his back, when, losing the cry of hounds,
the horse suddenly stopped short, and off flew
Benjamin beside the fox, who, all wild with fear
and rage, seized Ben by the nose, who ran about
with the fox hanging to him, yelling, 'Murder!
murder ! murder ! ' for hard life.

And to crown the day's disasters, when at
length our fat friend got his horse and his hounds,
and his damaged Benjamin scraped together again,
and re-entered Handley Cross, he was yelled at,
and hooted, and rid coat! rid coat! — ed by the

35

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

children, and made an object of unmerited ridicule
by the fair but rather unfeeling portion of the
populace.

'Lauk! here's an old chap been to Spilsby!'
shouted Betty Lucas, the mangle -woman, on
getting a view of the great mud-stained back.

* Hoot ! he 's always tumblin' off, that ard chap,'
responded Mrs. Hardbake, the itinerant lollypop-
seller, who was now waddling along with her tray
before her.

'Sich old fellers have ne business out a huntinT
observed Miss Rampling, the dressmaker, as she
stood staring bonnet-box on arm.

Then a marble-playing group of boys suspended
operations to give Jorrocks three cheers; one,
more forward than the rest, exclaiming, as he eyed
Arterxerxes, ' A ! what a shabby tail ! A ! what a
shabby tail ! '

Next as he passed the Barley-mow beer-shop,
Mrs. Gallon, the landlady, who was nursing a
child at the door, exclaimed across the street, to
Blash, the barber's pretty but rather wordy wife —

36

ME. JOEEOCKS'S JOUENAL

'A — a — a! ar say, Fanny! — old Fatty's had a

fall!'

To which Mrs. Blash replied with a scornful

toss of her head, at our now admiring friend —
'Hut ! he's always on his back, that old feller.'
' Not 'alf so often as you are, old gal ! ' retorted

the now indignant Mr. Jorrocks, spurring on out

of hearing.

37

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

CHAPTER III

A QUIET BYE

PIGG was all eager for the fray, and readily
came into Stobbs's suggestion, that they
should go out, and just take their chance
of finding a fox, and of his going to ground or not
as luck and his courage served.

' Ar '11 gan to'ard Duncan's, and get his grey for
wor Ben,' said Pigg, 'gin ye '11 set the lad on to
seddle the rest ' ; adding, ' the Squi-er ar 's warned
'ill ride Arterxerxes.

Off then Pigg went to Duncan Nevin's, and re-
turned with a woebegone-looking horse in a
halter, before Stobbs had made any progress in his
department. Ben was not to be found. Neither
at Mrs. Candy, the tart-woman's, nor at Mrs.
Biffin's apple-stall, nor at Strap, the saddler's, nor

38

A QUIET BYE

at any of his usual haunts, was anything to be
heard of the boy.

The fact was, he had been unable to resist a
ride at the back of a return chaise passing along
Juniper Street, and being caught by his apron in
the spikes, had been carried nearly to Copse Field
before he got himself disentangled.

The oracle Gabriel having continued his moni-
tions, Mr. Jorrocks thought to make the absence
of the boy an excuse for not going, but now having
both Stobbs and Pigg ranged against him, he was
soon driven from the attempt. Pigg said * Squi-er
Stobbs wad de quite as weal as Ben,' and Jorrocks,
little loth at heart perhaps, at length hoisted him-
self on to Arterxerxes with a swag that would have
sent a light-carcassed horse over, letting the now
smartly-clad Pigg ride the redoubtable Xerxes.
So with Stobbs in front, Jorrocks with the hounds,
and Pigg behind, they set off at a gentle trot,
telling the inquirers that they were only going to
exercise, a delusion that Mr. Jorrocks's hat seemed
to favour.

39

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

Bump, bump,— jog, jog, — on they went; Mr.
Jorrocks now chiding, now coaxing, now dropping
an observation fore or aft, now looking at the sky,
and now at his watch.

' Des say we shall find pretty soon/ observed
Mr. Jorrocks ; * for they tells me the cover has not
been disturbed this long time ; and there 's lots of
lyin' — nice, and dry, and warm— foxes like damp
beds as little as Christians. Uncommon pretty
betch, that Barbara, — like Bravery as two peas, —
by Billin'sgate out o' Benedict, I think. 'Opes we
may get blood ; it '11 do them a deal o' good, and
make them steady for the Beef and Carrots. Wen
we gets the 'ounds all on the square, we'll 'ave
the great Mr. Pomponius Hego to come and give
us a good boiling. Nothin' like soap.'

'Hooi! you chap with the turnip-cart!' now
roared our master, to a cartman coming up ; ' vot
do you mean by stickin' your great ugly wehicle
right afore my 'ounds ! — Mr. Jorrocks's 'ounds, in
fact ! I '11 skin ye alive ! ' added he, looking at the
man, who stood staring with astonishment. And

40

Xerxes, who had borne Ben gallantly
before the body of the pack, came tearing
along, like a poodle with a monkey on his
back, when, losing the cry of hounds, the
horse suddenly stopped short, and off flew
Benjamin beside the fox, who, all wild
with fear and rage, seized Ben by the
nose. Page 35

A QUIET BYE

again they went bump, bump, jog, jog, at the
pleasant post-boy pace, that has roused the bile of
so many sportsmen, and set so many riders fight-
ing with their horses.

At length they reached the cover side, — a long
wood stretching up the sides of a gently sloping
hill, and widening towards the summit. On the
crown there stood a clump of Scotch firs and
hollies, forming a landmark for many miles round.
Turning from the high-road into the grass field on
the right, the party pulled up to reconnoitre the
ground, and make their final arrangements.

' Now,' said Mr. Jorrocks, standing erect in his
stirrups, and pointing with his whip, which had
the effect of making half the pack break towards
the cover, — ' Now,' said he, as soon as he had got
them turned, 'this is a good big wood — two
'undred acres or more — and they tells me the
foxes generally lie on the risin' ground, towards
the clump. The vind 's north-vest ; so if we puts
hin at this point, we shall draw up it, and p'rhaps
get close to the warmint at startin', which is a
F 41

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

grand thing; but, howsomever, let's be doin'.
Draw your girths, Pigg, or your 'oss '11 slip through
his saddle. Now observe, there are three rides —
one on each side, one hup the middle, all leadin'
to the clump; and there are cross ones in all
directions ; so no man need be 'fraid o' losin' him-
self. Now let's put in. Pigg, open the wicket.'

'It's locked,' observed Pigg, running the
hammer of his whip into the rails, throwing him-
self off his horse, and pulling a great clasp-knife
out of his pocket as he spoke. ' Sink, but it aye
gars mar knife laugh to see a lock put upon
leather,' added he, as he drew the huge blade
across the stiff band that secured the gate. Open
flew the wicket — in went the pack with a dash,
a crash, and a little music from the riotous ones,
which gradually yielded to the ' Have a cares ! ' and
' Gently, Wenus ' ; ' Gently, Lousey ' (Louisa), with
the cracks of the whips of Mr. Jorrocks and his
huntsman.

'Now, Pigg, my frind, let's have a touch o'
north country science,' observed Mr. Jorrocks,

42

A QUIET BYE

bringing his horse alongside of his huntsman's.'
* I 'd like well to kill a fox to-day ; I 'd praise you
werry much if we did.'

' Aye, aye' said Pigg. ' Hoic in, Lousey ! Solid
puddin' 's better nor empty praise. Have at him
there, Statesman, old boy, — ye look like a finder.
Deil bon me, but ar thought ar winded him at the
crossin' there,' added Pigg, pulling his horse short
back to a cross ride he had just passed. * Hoic in
there, Priestess, ould gal,' said he, to an old black
and white bitch, feathering round some gorse
among the underwood; waving his hand as he
spoke. 'That's gospel, ar warrant ye,' continued
he, watching her movements.

' What will 't tak for t' ard nag ? ' inquired Pigg,
of a besom-maker, who now came down the ride
with a wretched white Rosinante, laden with
stolen brushwood. — * Have at him, there, Chal-
lenger ! ' speaking to a hound.

' Twenty shillin',' replied the man.

' Gie ye eight ! ' was the answer. — ' Yooi, push
him up ! ' to the hound.

43

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

'Tak twelve,' rejoined the tinker. 'Good
horse— can get up of hisself, top puller and all ! '

* Aye, but we dinna want him to poole : we
want him to eat,' replied Pigg. 'Had still!' ex-
claimed he, ' ar has him ! — TALLY HO ! ' roared
Pigg, cramming his spurs into his horse, and dash-
ing past Jorrocks like a shot. Out went both
horns — twang — twang — twang sounded Pigg's ;
wow! wow! wow! went Jorrocks's in deeper and
more substantial notes, and in a very short time
the body of the pack were laid on the scent, and
opened the concert with an overpowering burst of
melody.

' Oh, beautiful ! beautiful ! ' exclaimed Mr. Jor-
rocks, in raptures, as each hound put his nose to
the ground, and acknowledged the correctness of
the scent. ' Oh, beautiful indeed ! ' added he,
thumping the end of his horn upon his thigh, as
though he were cutting large gun-waddings out of
his breeches. ' 'Ow true to the line ! best 'ounds
in England, by far — never were such a pack!
Shall have a rare Chevy — all alone to ourselves;

44

A QUIET BYE

and when I gets home I'll write an account to
Bell's Life, and the Field, which nobody can
contradict. Hark forrard! hark forrard! hark
forrard ! away ! ' continued he, ramming the spurs
into Arterxerxes' sides, to induce him to change
his lumbering trot into a canter, which having
accomplished, Mr. Jorrocks settled himself into a
regular home seat in his saddle, and pounded up
a grass ride through the centre of the wood in a
perfect frenzy of delight, as the hounds worked
their way a little to his right with a full and
melodious cry.

'Hould hard, ye sackless ould sinner!' now
cried Pigg, crossing the main ride at a canter, and
nearly knocking Jorrocks off his horse, as he
charged him in his stride. 'Had (hold) bye, ar
say ! ' he roared in his master's ear ; ' or ar '11 be
dingin' on ye down — fox crossed reet in onder
husse's tail, and thou sits glowerin' there and never
see'd him.'

Out went both the horns again — twang! — twang!
— twang; wow! wow! wow!

45

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

'Hark together! hark! get forrard, hounds,
get forrard ! ' cried Mr. Jorrocks, cracking his pon-
derous whip at some lingerers that loitered on the
ride, questioning the correctness of their comrades'
cry. 'Get forrard, I say ! ' repeated he, with re-
doubled energy. * Confound your unbelievin'
souls ! ' added he, as they went to cry. ' Now they
are all on him again! Oh, beautiful, beautiful!'
exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, in ecstasies. 'I'll lay
five punds to a fiddler's farthin' they kill him.
Mischief in their cry! — a rare scent — can wind
him myself.' So saying, he gathered up his reins
again, thrust his feet home in the stirrups,
crammed the spurs into his horse, and rolled back
on the ride he had just come up. ' Hark ! ' now
cried our master, pulling up short and holding his
hand in the air, as though he had a hundred and
fifty horsemen at his tail to check in their career.
* Hark ! ' again he exclaimed ; ' whoay, 'oss, whoay!'
trying to get Arterxerxes to stand still and let him
listen. * Now, fool, vot are you champing the bit
for? — whoay, I say! He's turned short again!

46

A QUIET BYE

Hoick back ! Hoick back ! They 've overrun the
scent,' continued he, listening, as the chorus
gradually died out ; ' or,' added he, ' he may have
got to ground.'

' Tally ho ! ' now screamed Jorrocks, as a
magnificent fellow in a spotless suit of ruddy fur
crossed the ride before him at a quiet, stealing,
listening sort of pace, and gave a whisk of his
well-tagged brush on entering the copse-wood
across. ' Hoop ! hoop ! hoop ! hoop ! ' roared Mr.
Jorrocks, putting his finger in his ear, and holloa-
ing as loud as ever he could shout ; and just as he
got his horn fumbled past the guard, Dexterous,
Affable, and Mercury dashed across the ride,
lashing their sterns and bristling for blood, and
Pigg appeared a little below cantering along with
the rest of the pack at his horse's heels. 'Here,
Pigg ! there, Pigg ! ' roared Mr. Jorrocks ; 'just by
the old hoak-stump. — Gently now! ah, ware 'eel —
that 's not the vay of him ; he 's hover to the left,
I tells ye. That 's him ! Mercury has him.
Hoick to Mercury, hoick! get away, get away, get

47

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

away, 'ounds ! hoick together ! hoick together ! Oh,
Pigg, wot a wopper he is ! ' observed Mr. Jorrocks,
as Pigg joined him in the ride. * The biggest fox
whatever was seen — if we do but kill him — my vig !
I'll eat his tongue for supper. Have it grilled
" cum grano salis" with a lee-tie Cayenne pepper, as
Pomponius Hego would say.'

'Aye/ replied Pigg, grinning with delight, his
cap-peak in the air and the tobacco-juice stream-
ing down his mouth like a Chinese mandarin.
* Ar '11 be the death of a shilliri mysel' ! ' Saying
which he hustled his horse and turned to his
hounds.

Away they go again full cry across the cover
to the utmost limits, and then back again to the
far side. Now the fox takes a full swing round,
but won't quit — now he cuts across — now Mr.
Jorrocks views him, and swears he'll have his
brains as well as his tongue for supper. Pigg has
him next, and again comes Mr. Jorrocks's turn.
( Dash my vig, but he 's a tough 'un ! ' observed
Mr. Jorrocks to James Pigg, as they met again on

48

' I hope you II brick your neck, ye nasty
ugly ould thief! '. Page 54

A QUIET BYE

the rising ground at the top of the ride, where
Mr. Jorrocks had been fifteen times and Pigg
seventeen, both their horses streaming with per-
spiration, and the blue and yellow worsted fronts
of the bridles embossed with foam. ' Dash my vig,
but it 's a million and a half of petties,' continued
Mr. Jorrocks, looking at his watch, and seeing it
wanted but twenty minutes to four, 'that we
adwertised, for there 's a wast o' go left in him yet,
and he '11 take the shine out of some of our 'ounds
before he is done with them — send them dragglin'
'ome with their sterns down — make 'em cry capevi,
I 'm thinking.'

6 Niver fear ! ' exclaimed Pigg — ' niver fear ! —
whativer ye de keep Tamboreen a rowlin' — yonder
he gans ! ar wish it mayn't be a fresh un. Arn't
draggled a bit.'

' Oh, I 'opes not ! ' exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, the
picture of despair. ' Would eat him, brush and all,
sooner than that. Oh, dear ! oh, dear ! a fresh fox
would be cruel — 'ounds deserve him — worked him
well.'

G 49

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

they begin to chassT exclaimed Pigg,
listening to the ripening chorus. ' Aye, but there 's
a grand scent ! — Ar 11 be the death of a shillin' if
we de but kill him. How way, ould man, how
way,' continued Pigg cheeringly, jerking his arm
to induce his master to follow. ' Whativer ye de,
keep Tamboreen a rowlin' ! ' continued Pigg, spur-
ring and jagging his horse into a canter.

On man and master go — now they meet
Charley, and all three are together. Again they
part company for different rides, each according
to his fancy. There is an evident improvement in
the scent, but whether from a fresh fox, or the
hounds having got nearer the hunted one, is
matter of doubt. Mr. Jorrocks is elated and
excited beyond expression. The hounds are
evidently working the fox, but the fear of a fresh
one rather mars his enjoyment. The hounds turn
short, and Pigg and Charles again join Mr.
Jorrocks.

'A! man alive, but they are a dustin' his
jacket!' exclaimed Pigg, pulling up to listen; —

50

A QUIET BYE

* iv'ry hund 's at him ' ; saying which he pulled out
a large steel box and stuffed his mouth full of
tobacco.

•••••••

A sudden pause ensues — all still as death — not
a note — not even a whimper !

1 Who hoop ! ' exclaims Mr. Jorrocks in ecstasies
— ' Who hoop ! I say — heard the leadin' 'ound crack
his back ! Old Cruiser for a guinea ! '

..••••

' Yonder they gan ! ' cried Pigg, pointing to a
hog-backed hill on the left, over which three
couple of hounds were straining to gain the body
of the pack — saying which he clapt spurs to his
horse and dashed off at full gallop, followed by
Charles.

• •••••

' Oh, dear ! oh, dear ! ' exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks,
the picture of despair — * wot shall I do ? wot shall
I do ? — gone away at this hour — strange country —
nobody to pull the 'edges down for me or catch
my 'oss if I gets spilt, and there 's that Pigg ridin'

51

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

as if there was not never no such man as his
master. Pretty kettle of fish!' continued Mr.
Jorrocks, trotting on in the line they had taken
A bridle-gate let him out of cover, and from the
first hill our master sees his hounds going like
pigeons over the large grazing grounds of Bedding-
ton Bottoms, with Pigg and Stobbs a little in the
rear, riding as hard as ever their horses can lay
legs to the ground.

• •••••

1 'Ow that Scotch beggar rides ! ' exclaimed Mr.
Jorrocks, eyeing Pigg going as straight as an
arrow, which exclamation brought him to his first
fence at the bottom of the hill, over which both
horsemen had passed without disturbing a twig.

"OLD UP, 'oss!' roared Mr. Jorrocks, seizing
the reins and whip with one hand and the cantrel
of the saddle with the other, as Arterxerxes
floundered sideways through a low fence with a
little runner on the far side. ' 'OLD UP ! ' repeated
he, as they got scrambled through, looking back
and saying, * Terrible nasty place — wonders I ever

52

A QUIET BYE

got over. Should ha' been drund to a certainty if
I 'd got in. Wouldn't ride at it again for nothin'
under knighthood — Sir John Jorrocks, Knight!'
continued he, shortening his hold of his horse.
'And my ladyship Jorrocks!' added he. 'She'd
be bad to 'old — shouldn't wonder if she 'd be for
goin' to Halmack's. Dash my buttons, but I wish
I was off this beastly fallow,' continued he;
' wonderful thing to me that the farmers can't see
there 'd be less trouble i' growin' grass than in
makin' these nasty rutty fields. 'Eavens be
praised, there's a gate — and a lane too,' saying
which he was speedily in the latter, and gather-
ing his horse together he set off at a brisk trot in
the direction he last saw the hounds going.

Terribly deep it was, and great Arterxerxes
made a noise like the drawing of corks as he
blobbed along through the stiff, holding clay.

Thus Mr. Jorrocks proceeded for a mile or
more, until he came upon a red-cloaked gipsy
wench stealing sticks from a rotten fence on the
left.

53

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

' 'Ave you seen my 'ounds, ould gal ? ' inquired
he, pulling up short.

* Bless your beautiful countenance, my cock
angel ! ' exclaimed the woman, in astonishment at
the sight of a man in a scarlet coat with a face to
match ; ' bless your beautiful countenance, you 're
the very babe I Ve been looking for all this blessed
day — cross my palm with a bit o' siller, and I '11 tell
you sick a fortin ! '

' Cuss YOUR FORTIN ! ' roared Mr. Jorrocks,
sticking spurs into his horse, and grinning with
rage at the idea of having pulled up to listen to
such nonsense.

'I hope you'll brick your neck, ye nasty
ugly ould thief!' rejoined the gipsy, altering her
tone.

"Opes I sharrit,' muttered Mr. Jorrocks, trot-
ting on to get out of hearing. Away he went,
blob, blob, blobbing through the deep holding clay
as before.

Presently he pulled up again with a ' Pray, my
good man, 'ave you seen my 'ounds — Mr. Jorrocks's

54

A QUIET BYE

'ounds, in fact?' of a labourer scouring a fence-
gutter. * Don't you 'ear me, man?' bellowed he,
as the countryman stood staring with his hand on
his spade.

1 1 be dull of hearin', sir,' at length drawled the
man, advancing very slowly towards our master
with his hand up to his ear.

* Oh, dear ! oh, dear ! ' exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks,
starting off again, 'was there ever sich a mis-
fortinate indiwidual as John Jorrocks ? ' — 'Ark !
vot's that? Pigg's 'orn! Oh, dear, only a cow!
Come hup, 'oss, I say, you hugly beast! — there
surely never was sich a worthless beast lapped in
leather as you,' giving Arterxerxes a good double
thonging as he spoke. ' Oh, dear ! oh, dear ! ' con-
tinued he, ' I wish I was well back at the Cross,
with my 'ounds safe i' kennel. — Yot a go is this ! —
Dinner at five — baked haddocks, prime piece of
fore chine, Portingal honions, and fried plum-
puddin'; and now, by these darkenin' clouds, it
must be near four, and here I be's, miles and miles
away — 'ounds still runnin', and adwertised for the

55

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

Beef and Carrots on Wednesday — never will be fit
to go, nor to the Daisy nouther.'

' Pray, my good man,' inquired he of a drab-
coated, big-basketed farmer, on a bay cart-horse,
whom he suddenly encountered at the turn of the
road, "ave you seen anything of my 'ounds ? Mr.
Jorrocks's 'ounds, in fact ? '

'Yes, sir,' replied the farmer, all alive; 'they
were running past Langford plantations with the
fox dead beat close afore them.'

"Ow long since, my frind?' inquired Mr.
Jorrocks, brightening up.

' Oh, why just as long as it 's taken me to come
here — mebbe ten minutes or a quarter of an hour,
not longer certainly. If you put on you may be in
at the death yet.'

Away went spurs, elbows, and legs, elbows and
legs, Arterxerxes was again impelled into a canter,
and our worthy master pounded along, all eyes,
ears, and fears. Night now drew on, the darkening
clouds began to lower, bringing with them fog and
a drizzling rain. ' Bad go this/ said Mr. Jorrocks,

56

' Speak, I say! — vot are you ? — Come hup,
'055, / say! Now for a murder! ' Page 6 1

A QUIET BYE

rubbing his hand down his coat-sleeve, and raising
his face to ascertain the precise amount of the
fall. ' Bad go, indeed. Got my Sunday 'at on, too.
Hooi, bouys ! did you see th' 'ounds ? ' inquired he
of a troop of satchel-slung youths, plodding their
ways homeward from school.

* Y-e-a-s,' at length drawled out one, after a
good stare at the inquirer.

' 'Ow long since ? come, quick, bouy ! '

' May be twenty minutes ; just as we com'd past
Hookem-Snivey church we see'd fox, and hounds
were close ahint — he was varra tired.'

' Twenty minutes/ repeated Mr. Jorrocks, aloud
to himself; ' twenty minutes — may be a werry long
way off by this ; foxes travel fast. Yich way were
they a-goin' ? '

6 Straight for Staunton-Snivey,' drawled the boy.

' My vig ! ' exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, * vot a run ;
if we don't kill werry soon, it '11 be pitch dark, and
then there '11 be a pretty kittle o' fish — th' 'ounds
will kill all the ship (sheep) in the country — shall
have a bill as long as my arm to pay.'
H 57

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

Fear lent fresh impetus to our worthy friend,
and tightening his hold of Arterxerxes' head, who
now began tripping and stumbling, and flounder-
ing along in a most slovenly manner, Mr. Jorrocks
trotted on, and reaching Hookem-Snivey, saw by
the foot-people standing on the churchyard-wall,
that the hounds were * forrard ' ; he turned down a
lane to the left of the village stocks, in the direc-
tion the people were looking, and catching
Staunton-Snivey in the distance, set off for it as
hard as ever he could tear. A pretty clattering he
made down the stony road.

Night now drew on apace, and heavy darkening
clouds proclaimed a fast approaching storm. At
Staunton-Snivey he learned that the hounds had
just passed the turnpike on to the Downs, with the
fox * dead beat close afore them ' ; and still unwill-
ing to give in, though every moment increased his
difficulties, he groped open a bridle-gate, and
entered upon the wide-extending Plain. The
wind had now risen, and swept with uncommon
keenness over the unprotected open. The drizz-

58

A QUIET BYE

ling rain too became changed into larger, heavier
drops, and thrusting his hat upon his brow, Mr.
Jorrocks buttoned his coat up to the throat, and
wrapping its laps over his thighs, tucked them in
between his legs and the saddle. Dismal and
disheartening were his thoughts, and many his
misgivings for his rashness. ' Oh, dear ! oh, dear ! '
muttered he, ' wot a most momentous crisis — lost !
lost ! lost ! — completely lost ! Dinner lost ! 'ounds
lost, self lost — all lost together! Oh, vot evil
genius ever tempted me from the lovely retirement
o' Great Coram Street ? Oh ! why did I neglect
the frindly warnin' o' Gabriel Junks ? Change,
change — storm, storm — was in his every scream,
and yet I would go. Cuss the rain, it's gettin'
down my werry back, I do declare ' ; saying which
he turned the blue collar of his coat up to his ears,
and both laps flew out with a desperate gust of
wind. 'Ord rot it,' said he, 'it's not never no
use persewerin', may as well give in at once and
'ark back to Snivey ; my Berlins are wet through,
and I shall be drenched in another second.

59

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

'Who-ay, 'oss! who-ay; stand still, you hugly
beast, and let me listen.' The ducking-headed
brute at length obeyed.

'It is the 'orn,' exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, after
sitting listening for some time, with his hand to his
ear ; * it is the 'orn, Pigg 's not far off! There it goes
again, but the 'owling wind carries so many ways,
there's no saying whereabouts he is. I'll blow,
and see if I can 'ail him.' Mr. Jorrocks then drew
out his horn, and puffed and blew most lustily, but
the raging tempest scattered the notes before they
were well out of his mouth, and having exhausted
his breath, he again paused, horn in hand, to
listen. Between each blast of the raging hurri-
cane, the faint notes of the horn were heard, some
coming more fully as the gale blew more favour-
ably, and a fuller one falling on his ear, during a
period of partial lull, Mr. Jorrocks determined on
advancing and endeavouring to rejoin his lost
huntsman. ' Come hup, I say, you hugly beast ! '
exclaimed he, getting Arterxerxes short by the
head, and digging the spurs freely into his sides.

60

A QUIET BYE

The lumbering brute acknowledged the compli-
ment with a sort of half hitch of a kick. ' Great
henterpriseless brute — do believe you'd rayther
'ave a feed o' corn than the finest run wot ever
was seen,' observed Mr. Jorrocks, cropping him.
Night had now closed in, and even the sort of
light of darkness that remains so long to the
traveller who journeys onward with the closing
day, deserted him, and earth and sky assumed the
same sombre hue : —

' The dragon wing of night o'erspread the earth.'

Scarce a star was visible in the firmament, and the
few scattered lights that appeared here and there
about the country, seemed like snatches of hope
lit up for the moment to allure and perplex the
wanderer.

'If ever mortal man catches me in such a
quandary as this again,' exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks,
' I 'opes — oh, dear ! who 's there ? — Cus those
Seidlitz pooders ! — Speak, I say ! — vot are you ? —
Come hup, 'oss, I say!' roared he, ramming the

61

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

spurs into Arterxerxes, who had suddenly shied off
with a loud snort. 'Now for a murder!' ejacu-
lated Jorrocks, still cramming in the spurs.

' E-yah! E-yah! E-yah!' went a donkey, greatly
to the relief of Mr. Jorrocks's mind, who had
clenched his huge hammer-headed whip by the
middle, so as to give an assailant the full benefit of
its weight. Out then went his horn again, and the
donkey brayed a full accompaniment.

'Oh, the deuce be with the hanimal!' cried
Jorrocks, grinning with vexation, 'never saw a
donkey yet that knew when to 'old his tongue.
Oh, my vig, vot a vind ! almost blows the 'orn
itself; shall be blown to hatoms, I do believe.
And the rain too ! I really thinks I 'm wet to the
werry waistband o' my breeches. I '11 lay a guinea
'at to a half-crown gossamer I haven't a dry thread
upon me in 'alf a minute. Got a five-pund note i'
my pocket that will be hutterly ruined. Sarves me
right, for bein' such a hass as take these 'ounds —
vy wasn't I content with the glorious old Surrey
and an occasional turn with the Cut-'em-downs ?

62

A QUIET BYE

Well ; I thinks this night will be the last of John
Jorrocks ! Best master of 'ounds wot ever was
seen. 'Orrible termination to a hactive life ;
starved on a common — eat by wolves, or shep-
herds' dogs, which is much of a muchness as far
as comfort's concerned. Why even yon donkey
would be 'shamed of such an end. There goes the
vind with my 'at — lucky it's tied on,' added he,
trying to catch it as it dangled at his back, ' or I
should never have seen it no more. I 'd give fifty
punds to be back at 'Andley Cross — I'd give a
'underd punds to be back at 'Andley Cross — knows
no more where I am than if I was among the
Bohea mountains — oh, dear, 'ow it pours ! I 'd give
two 'underd punds to be back at 'Andley Cross —
yonder 's a light, I do declare — two on 'em — come
hup, 'oss, I say. The hanimal seems to have no
sense ! I '11 lead you, you nasty hugly brute, for I
do believe you'll brick my neck, or my back, or
both, arter all ' ; so saying, Mr. Jorrocks clambered
down, and getting on to the sheltered side of the
animal, proceeded to plunge and roll, and stagger

63

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

and stumble across the common, with the water
churning in his great boots, in the direction of the
distant lights.

After a good hour's roll about the open
Downs, amid a most pelting, pitiless storm, our
much-respected master at length neared the
longed-for lights, which he had kept steadily in
view, and found they proceeded from lamps at
lodges on either side of handsome gates, betoken-
ing the entrance to a large demesne. Mounting
his horse, he rode quickly through the gates, and
trusting to the sound of Arterxerxes' hoofs for
keeping the road, he jogged on in search of the
mansion. Tall stately pines, rising like towers to
heaven, with sombre yews in massive clumps, now
made darkness visible, and presently a sudden
turn of the road brought a large screen full of
lights to view, some stationary, others gliding
about, which acted like sunbeams on our master's
mind ; more grateful still was the shelter afforded
by the lofty portals of the entrance, under which,
as if by instinct, Arterxerxes bore his master, and

64

'A-a-a sink ! — heres canny ard sweet-
breeks hissel!' Page 68

A QUIET BYE

then stood still to be delivered of his load. ' The
bell 'ill be somewhere here, I guess/ observed Mr.
Jorrocks, dismounting and running his hand up
either side of the door-posts. ' Here's as much
door as would serve Jack the Giant-killer's castle,
and leave a little over.' So saying, having grasped
the bulky handle of a wall-ensconced bell, he gave
it a hearty pull, and paused as they say for an
answer.

In an instant, two tall, highly-powdered foot-
men, in rich scarlet and white lace-bedaubed
liveries, threw wide the folding-doors as though
they expected Daniel Lambert, or the great
Durham ox, exhibiting a groom of the chamber
and a lusty porter, laying down the newspapers,
and hurrying from a blazing fire in the back
ground.

65

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

I

CHAPTER IV
THE 'CAT AND CUSTARD-POT' DAT

above day deserves a more extended
notice than it receives in Mr. Jorrocks's
Journal. He writes that 'somehow or

other in shavin', he thought they 'd 'ave mischief,'
and he went into the garden as soon as he was
dressed to consult the prophet Gabriel Junks, so
that he might take his pocket Siphonia in case
it was likely to be wet, but the bird was not
there. Then just as he had breakfasted and was
about ready for a start, young May, the grocer,
sent him a horse to look at, and as 'another
genTman' was waiting for the next offer of him,
Charley and Mr. Jorrocks stayed behind to try
him, and after a hard deal, Mr. Jorrocks bought

66

THE 'CAT AND CUSTARD-POT' DAY

him for £30 — which he makes a mem. : ' to
call £50.'

Meanwhile Pigg and Ben trotted on with the
hounds, and when they reached the meet — the
sign of the Cat and Custard-Pot, on the Muswell-
road, they found an immense assemblage, some
of whom greeted Pigg with the familiar inquiry
' what he 'd have to drink ? '

' Brandy ! ' replied Pigg, ' brandy ! ' and tossing
off the glass with great gusto, a second horseman
volunteered one, then a third, then a fourth, then
a fifth ; for it is observable that there are people
in the world will give away drink to any extent,
who yet would be chary of offering either money
or meat. Pigg, who as Mr. Jorrocks says in his
Journal, is only a lusus naturce, or loose 'un by
natur', tosses off glass after glass, smacking his
lips and slapping his thigh, getting noisier and
noisier with each succeeding potation. Now he
would sing them a song, now he would take the
odds ag'in Marley Hill, then he would tell them
about Deavilbogers' farm, and how, but for his

67

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

foreelder John, John Pigg, ye see, willin' his
brass to the Formary ye see, he'd ha' been a
gen'l'man that day and huntin' his own hunds.
Then as another glass made its appearance, he
would take off his cap and halloo out at the
top of his voice, making the hounds stare with
astonishment, ' Keep the tambourine a rowliri ! '
adding as he tossed it off, 'Brandy and baccy 'ill
gar a man live for iver ! ' And now when he was
about at the noisiest, with his cap turned peak-
backwards, and the tobacco juice simmering down
the deeply-indented furrows of his chin, our
master and Charley appear in the distance,
jogging on, not too quickly for consequence, but
sufficiently fast to show they are aware they are
keeping the field waiting.

' Here he comes ! here 's Jorrocks ! here 's the
old boy ! here 's Jackey at last ! ' runs through the
meeting, and horsemen begin to arrange them-
selves for the reception.

'A — a — a sink!' exclaims Pigg, shaking his
head, blinking and staring that way, ' here 's canny

68

THE 'CAT AND CUSTARD-POT' DAY

ard sweetbreeks hissel ! ' adding with a slap of
his thigh as the roar of laughter the exclamation
produced subsided, 'A — a — a, but ar de like to
see his feulish 'ard feace a grinnin' in onder
his cap ! '

1 How way, canny man ; how way ! ' now shouts
Pigg, waving his hand as his master approached.
'How way! canny man, how way! and give us
a wag o' thy neif,' Pigg extending his hand as
he spoke.

Mr. Jorrocks drew up with great dignity, and
placing his fist in his side, proceeded to recon-
noitre the scene.

' Humph ! ' grunted he, ' wot 's all this about ? '

'Sink, but ar'll gi' thou a gob full o' baccy,'
continued James, nothing daunted by his master's
refusal of his hand. 'Sink, but ar'll gi' thou a
gob full o' baccy,' repeated he, diving into his
waistcoat pocket and producing a large steel
tobacco box as he spoke.

Mr. Jorrocks signified his dissent by a chuck
of the chin, and an ominous shake of the head.

69

HUNTS WITH JORBOCKS

'A— a— a man ! ' exclaimed Pigg, now changing
his tone, 'but ar'll tell thee of a lass well worth
her licks ! '

' You deserve your own, sir, for gettin' so drunk,'
observed Mr. Jorrocks haughtily.

Pigg. — 'Ar's as sober as ye are, and a deal
wizer ! '

Jorrocks, angrily. — ' I '11 not condescend to com-
pare notes with ye ! '

Pigg, now flaring up. — 'Sink! if anybody 'ill
had mar huss, ar'll get off and fight him.'

Jorrocks, contemptuously. — ' Better stick to the
shop-board as long as you can.'

Pigg, furious. — ' Gin ar warn't afeard o' hoggin
mar neif, ard gi' thou a good crack i' thy kite ! '

Jorrocks, with emphasis. — ' Haw — da — cious
feller. I'll 'unt the 'ounds myself afore I'll put
hup with sich himperence ! '

Pigg, throwing out his arms and grinning in
ecstasies. — 'Ar'll be death of a guinea but arl
coom and see thee ! '

Jorrocks, looking indignantly round on the

70

THE 'CAT AND CUSTARD-POT' DAY

now mirth-convulsed company. — ' Who 's made my
Pigg so drunk ? '

Nobody answered.

' Didn't leave his sty so,' muttered our master,
lowering himself jockey ways from his horse.

"Old my quad,' said he to Charley, handing
him Arterxerxes, ' while I go in and see.'

Our master then stumped in, and presently
encountering the great attraction of the place —
the beautiful Miss D'Oiley — asked her, with a
smiling countenance and a hand in a pocket, as
if about to pay, ' Wot his 'untsman 'ad 'ad ? '

'Oh, sir, it is all paid,' replied Miss D'Oiley,
smiling as sweetly upon Jorrocks as she did on
the generality of her father's customers, for she
had no more heart than a punch-bowl.

' Is all paid ? ' muttered our friend.

' Yes, sir ; each gentleman paid as he sent out
the glass.'

' Humph ! ' twigged Mr. Jorrocks, adding, with
a grunt, 'and that's wot these critters call
sport ! '

71

HUNTS WITH JORKOCKS

Our master then stumped out. 'Well, genT-
men,' exclaimed he, at the top of his voice off
the horse-block, 'I 'opes you're satisfied wi' your
day's sport ! — you 've made my nasty Pigg as drunk
as David's sow, so now you may all go 'ome, for
I shalln't throw off; and as to you,' continued
our indignant master, addressing the now some-
what crestfallen Pigg, 'you go 'ome too, and take
off my garments, and take yourself off to your
native mountains, for I '11 see ye at Jericho ayont
Jordan afore you shall 'unt my 'ounds,' giving his
thigh a hearty slap as he spoke.

'Wy, wy, sir,' replied Pigg, turning his quid;
'wy, wy, sir, ye ken best, only dinna ye try to
hont them thysel' — that 's arle ! '

'There are as good fish i' the sea as ever
came out on 't I ' replied Mr. Jorrocks, brandishing
his big whip furiously ; adding, ' I '11 see ye leadin'
an old ooman's lap-dog 'bout in a string afore you
shall 'unt 'em.'

' No ye won't ! ' responded Pigg. ' No ye won't !
Arve ne carle te de nothin' o' the sort! Arve

72

'A fox! for a 'underd! A fox! for two-and-
twenty 'underd! A fox! for a million! A
fox! for }alf the national debt!' Page 76

THE 'CAT AND CUSTAKD-POT ' DAY

ne carle to de nothin' o' the sort! — Arle gan
back to mar coosin Deavilbogers.'

'You may gan to the devil himself/ retorted
Mr. Jorrocks vehemently — 'you may gan to the
devil himself— I'll see ye sellin' small coals from
a donkey-cart out of a quart pot afore you shall
stay wi' me.'

'Thou's a verra feulish, noisy, gobby, in-
sufficient 'ard man ! ' retorted Pigg, ' and ar
doesn't regard thee / No; AR DOESN'T REGARD
THEE!' roared he, with a defiant flourish of
his fist.

'You're a hignorant, hawdacious, rebellious
rascal, and I '11 see ye frightenin' rats from a barn
wi' the bagpipes at a 'alfpenny a day, and findin'
yoursel, afore I'll 'ave anything more to say to
ye,' rejoined Mr. Jorrocks, gathering up his big
whip as if for the fray.

' Sink, arle tak and welt thee like an ard shoe,
if thou gives me ony mair o' thy gob ! ' rejoined
the now furious Pigg, ejecting his baccy and
motioning as if about to dismount.
K 73

HUNTS WITH JOEROCKS

Jorrocks, thinking he had done enough, then
took his horse from Charley Stobbs, and hoisting
himself on like a great crate of earthenware,
whistled his hounds away from the still stupefied
Pigg, who sat blinking and staring and shaking
his head, thinking there were two Jorrockses on
two Arterxerxes, two Bens, two Charley Stobbses,
and something like five-and-forty couple of hounds.

The field remained behind praising Pigg and
abusing Jorrocks, and declaring they would with-
draw their subscriptions to the hounds if Pigg
'got the sack.' None of them would see Pigg
want; and Harry Capper, more vehement than
the rest, proposed an immediate subscription, a
suggestion that had the effect of dispersing the
field, who slunk off different ways as soon as ever
the allusion to the pocket was made.

Jorrocks was desperately angry, for he had
had an expensive 'stop,' and came bent on mis-
chief. His confusion of mind made him mistake
the road home, and go by Kumfiddler Green in-
stead of Muswell Hill. He spurred, and cropped,

74

THE 'CAT AND CUSTAKD-POT' DAY

and jagged Arterxerxes — now vowing that he
would send him to the tanners when he got
'ome — now that he would have him in the boiler
afore night. He was very much out of sorts with
himself and everybody else — even the hounds
didn't please him — always getting in his way,
hanging back looking for James Pigg, and Ben
had fine fun cutting and flopping them forrard.

Charley, like a wise man, kept aloof.

In this unamiable mood our master progressed,
until the horrible apparition of a great white turn-
pike-gate, staring out from the gable end of a
brick toll-house, startled his vision and caused
him to turn short up a wide green lane to the
left. 'Take care o' the pence and the punds 'ill
take care o' theirsels,' muttered our master to
himself, now sensible that he had mistaken his
road, and looking around for some landmark to
steer by. Just as he was identifying White
Choker Church in the distance, a sudden some-
thing shot through the body of the late loitering
indifferent hounds, apparently influencing them

75

HUNTS WITH JOEKOCKS

with a sort of invisible agency. Another instant,
and a wild snatch or two right and left, ended
in a whimper and a general shoot up the lane.

6 A fox ! for a 'underd ! ' muttered our master,
drawing breath as he eyed them. ' A fox ! for two-
and-twenty 'underd!' continued he, as Priestess
feathered but spoke not.

' A fox ! for a million ! ' roared he, as old
Ravager threw his tongue lightly but confidentially,
and Jorrocks cheered him to the echo.

' A fox ! for 'alf the national debt ! ' roared he,
looking round at Charley as he gathered himself
together for a start.

Now as Jorrocks would say, Beckford would
say, ' where are all your sorrows and your cares,
ye gloomy souls ! or where your pains and aches,
ye complaining ones! one whimper has dispelled
them all.'

Mr. Jorrocks takes off his cap and urges the
tail-hounds on. A few more driving shoots and
stops, producing increased velocity with each
effort, and a few more quick snatchy whimpers,

76

THE 'CAT AND CUSTARD-POT' DAY

end in an unanimous outburst of downrightly
determined melody.

Jorrocks, cocking his cap on his ear, seats
himself plump in his great saddle, and, gathering
his reins, gallops after them in the full grin of
delight. Away they tear up the rutty grassy ride,
as if it was a railway. ' F-o-o-r-rard on I F-o-o-r-rard
on ! ' is his cry.

6 H-o-i-c cry ! h-o-i-c cry ! h-o-i-c ! ' squeaks Ben,
wishing himself at home at the mutton, and de-
lighted at having got rid of James Pigg, who
always would have the first cut.

It is a long lane that never has a turn, and
this one was no exception to the rule, for in due
course it came to an abrupt angle. A convenient
meuse, however, inviting the fox onward, he
abandoned the line and pursued his course over
some bare, badly-fenced pastures, across which
Mr. Jorrocks cheered and rode with all the con-
fidence of a man who sees his way out. The
pace mended as they went, and Jorrocks hugged
himself with the idea of killing a fox without

77

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

Pigg. From the pastures they got upon Straggle-
ford Moor, pretty much the same sort of ground
as the fields, but the fox brushing as he went,
there was a still further improvement of scent.
Jorrocks then began to bet himself hats that he 'd
kill him, and went vowing what he would offer
to Diana if he did. There was scarcely any
promise too wild for him to make at this moment.
The fox, however, was not disposed to accommo-
date Jorrocks with much more plain sailing for
the purpose, and seeing, by the scarlet coats, that
he was not pursued by his old friends the Dotfield
harriers as at first he thought, and with whom he
had had many a game at romps, he presently sunk
the hill and made for the stiffly-fenced vale below.
' Blow me tight ! ' exclaimed Jorrocks, shorten-
ing his hold of Arterxerxes, and putting his head
straight as he used to do down the Surrey hills,
'Blow me tight! but I wish he mayn't be
gettin' me into grief. This looks to me werry like
the Ingerleigh Wale, and if it is, it's a bit of as
nasty ridin' grund as ever mortal man got into —

78

THE 'CAT AND CUSTARD-POT' DAY

yawnin' ditches with himpracticable fences, posts
with rails of the most formidable order, and that
nasty long Tommy bruk, twistin' and twinin' about
in all directions like a child's rattle-snake. 'Ow-
ever, thank goodness, 'ere's a gap and a gate
beyond,' continued he, as his quick eye caught
a gap at the corner of the stubble field he was
now approaching, which getting through, he rose
in his stirrups and cheered on the hounds in
the line of the other convenience. * For-r-a-r-d !
For-r-a-r-d ! ' shrieked he, pointing the now racing
hounds out to Charley, who was a little behind;
lfor-rard ! for-rard ! ' continued Jorrocks, rib-roast-
ing Arterxerxes. The gate was locked, but Jackey
— we beg his pardon — Mr. Jorrocks — was quickly
off, and setting his great back against it, lifted it
off the hinges. * Go on ! never mind me ! ' cried
he to Charley, who had pulled up as Jorrocks
was dancing about with one foot in the stirrup,
trying to remount. — ' Go on ! never mind me ! ' re-
peated he, with desperate energy, as he made
another assault at the saddle. * Get on, Ben, you

79

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

most useless appendage ! ' continued he, now lying
across the saddle, like a miller's sack. A few
flounders land him in the desired haven, and he
trots on, playing at catch-stirrup with his right
foot as he goes.

' Forrard on! forrard on!1 still screamed he,
cracking his ponderous whip, though the hounds
were running away from him as it was, but he
wanted to get Charley Stobbs to the front, as there
was no one to break his fences for him but him.

The hounds, who had been running with a
breast-high scent, get their noses to the ground
as they come upon fallow, and a few kicks, jags,
and objurgations on Jorrocks's part, soon bring
Arterxerxes and him into the field in which they
are. The scent begins to fail.

' G — e-e-e-nt — ly there ! ' cries Jorrocks, holding
up his hand and reining in his horse, inwardly
hoping the fox might be on instead of off to the
right, where he sees his shiny friend, long Tommy,
meandering smoothly along.

1 Yo dote ! Ravager, good dog, yo dote, Ravager ! '

80

Ravager's unerring nose proclaims the

varmint across the green headland.

Page 8 1

THE 'CAT AND CUSTARD-POT' DAY

cheers Jorrocks, as the sage feathers and scuttles up
the furrow. ' Yo-o dote ! ' continued Mr. Jorrocks,
cheering the rest on — adding as he looks at them
scoring to cry, 'wot a petty it is we can't put
new legs to old noses!' The spurt, however, is
of short duration, for the ground gets worse as it
rises higher, until the tenderest-nosed hound can

O "

hardly own the scent. A heavy cloud too oppresses
the atmosphere. Jorrocks sees if he doesn't look
sharp he'll very soon be run out of scent, so
getting hold of his hounds, he makes a rapid
speculation in his mind as to which way he would
go if he were the fox, and having decided that
point, he loses no time in getting the pack to
the place. — Jorrocks is right ! — Ravager's unerring
nose proclaims the varmint across the green head-
land, and the next field being a clover ley, with a
handy gate in, which indeed somewhat influenced
Jorrocks in his cast, the hounds again settle to
the scent, with Jorrocks rolling joyfully after them,
declaring he'd be the best 'untsman under the
sun if it warn't for the confounded lips. Away
L 81

HUNTS WITH JOEROCKS

he now crams, up the field road, with the hounds
chirping merrily along on his right, through
turnips, oat stubble, winter beans, and plough. A
white farm onstead, Buckwheat Grange, with its
barking cur in a barrel, causes the fox to change
his course and slip down a broken but grassy
bank to the left. * Dash his impittance, but he 's
taken us into a most unmanageable country,'
observes Mr. Jorrocks, shading his eyes from the
now out-bursting sun with his hand as he trotted
on, eyeing the oft-occurring fences as he spoke.
'Lost all idee of where I ham, and where I'm
agoin',' continued he, looking about to see if he
could recognise anything. Hills, dales, woods,
water, were equally new to him.

Crash! now go the hounds upon an old dead
thorn-fence, stuck on a low sod-bank, making
Jorrocks shudder at the sound. Over goes Stobbs
without doing anything for his followers.

' Go on, Binjimin ! go on ! Now,' cries Jorrocks,
cantering up, cracking his whip, as if he wanted
to take it in stride, but in reality to frighten Ben

82

THE 'CAT AND CUSTARD-POT' DAY

over to break it. ' Go on! ye miserable man-
monkey of a boy!' repeats he, as Xerxes now
turned tail, nearly upsetting our master — ' Oh you
epitome of a tailor ! ' groaned Jorrocks ; ' you 're of
no more use wi' 'ounds than a lady's-maid, — do
believe I could make as good a whipper-in out of
a carrot ! See ! you Ve set my quad a refusin', and
I'll bet a guinea 'at to a 'alf-crown wide-awake,
he'll not face another fence to-day. — Come hup,
I say, you hugly beast ! ' now roared Jorrocks, pre-
tending to put Arterxerxes resolutely at it, but in
reality holding him hard by the head, — 'Get off,
ye useless apology of a hosier and pull it down, or
I'll give you sich a wopping as '11 send you to
Blair Athol for the rest of the day,' exclaimed our
half-distracted master, brandishing his flail of a
whip as he spoke.

Ben gladly alighted, and by dint of pulling
away the dead thorns, and scratching like a rabbit
at the bank, he succeeded in greatly reducing the
obstacle.

' Now lead him over ! ' cried Mr. Jorrocks,

.83

HUNTS WITH JOEEOCKS

applying his whip freely to Xerxes, and giving
Ben a sly, accidental cut. Xerxes floundered
over, nearly crushing Ben, and making plain
sailing for Jorrocks. Our master then followed
and galloped away, leaving Ben writhing and
crying, and vowing that he would 'take and pull
him off his 'oss.'

The hounds had now shot a few fields ahead,
but a flashy catching scent diminishing their
pace, Mr. Jorrocks was soon back to them yoick-
ing and holding them on. ( Yooi, over he goes ! '
cheered he, taking off his cap, as Priestess en-
dorsed Ranger's promissory note on a very wet
undrained fallow — 'Yooi, over he goes!1 repeated
he, eyeing the fence into it, and calculating
whether he could lead over or scuttle up to the
white gate on the left in less time, and thinking
the latter was safer, having got the hounds over,
he rose in his stirrups, and pounded away while
Charley took the fence in his stride. They were
now upon sound old pasture, lying parallel with
tortuous Tommy, and most musical were the

84

THE 'CAT AND CUSTARD-POT' DAY

hounds' notes as each in turn prevailed. — Mr.
Jorrocks had lit on his legs in the way of gates,
and holloaed and rode as if he didn't know what
craning was.

' Forrard on, Priestess, old betch ! ' cheered
he, addressing himself to the now leading hound,
' forrard on ! — for-rard ! ' adding, ' I '11 gie ye sich
a plate o' bones if we do but kill.'

On the hounds went bustling, chirping, and
whimpering, all anxious to fly, but still not able
to accomplish it. The scent was shifty and bad,
sometimes serving them, and then as quickly
failing, as if the fox had been coursed by a dog.
Jorrocks, though desperately anxious to get them
on better terms with their fox, trots gently on,
anxiously eyeing them but restraining his ardour,
by repeating the old couplet —

4 As well as shape full well he knows,
To kill their fox they must 'ave nose.'

'Aye, aye, but full well he knows also,' con-
tinued our master, after he had repeated the lines
three or four times over, 'that to kill their fox

85

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

they must press 'im, at some period or other
o' the chase, which they don't seem at all inclined
to do,' continued he, looking at their indifferent
slack mode of proceeding. (For-rard on!' at
length cries our master, cracking his whip at a
group of dwellers, who seemed inclined to re-
assure every yard of the ground — * For-rard on ! '
repeated he, riding angrily at them, adding, 'cus
your unbelievin' 'eads, can't you trust old Priestess
and Ravager ? '

To increase our worthy master's perplexities,
a formidable flock of sheep now wheel semi-
circularly over the line, completely obliterating
any little scent that remained, and though our
finest huntsman under the sun, aided by Charley
as whip, quickly got the hounds beyond their foil,
he was not successful in touching upon the line
of the fox again.

'Humph? grunted our master, reviewing his
cast, ' the ship must ha' heat 'im, or he 's wanished
into thin hair ' ; adding, * jest put 'em on to me,
Charley, whilst I makes one o' Mr. Craven Smith's

86

THE 'CAT AND CUSTARD-POT' DAY

patent all-round-my-'at casts, for that beggar
Binjimin 's of no more use with a pack of 'ounds
than a hopera-box would be to a cow, or a frilled
shirt to a pig.' So saying, Mr. Jorrocks out with
his tootler, and giving a shrill blast, seconded by
Charley's whip, proceeded to go down wind, and
up wind, and round about wind, without however
feeling a touch of his fox. At length scarce a
hound would stoop, and old black Lucifer gave
unmistakable evidence of his opinion of matters
by rolling himself just under Jorrocks's horse's
nose, and uttering a long-drawn howl, as much
as to say, ' Come, old boy ! shut up ! it 's no use
bothering : let 's off to dinner ! '

' Rot ye ! ye great lumberin' henterpriseless
brute ! ' roared Jorrocks, cutting indignantly at
him with his whip, ' rot ye ! d' ye think I boards
and lodges and pays tax 'pon you to 'ave ye settin'
up your 'olesale himperance that way? — g-e-e-t-e
away, ye disgraceful sleepin' partner o' the chase ! '
continued he, as the frightened hound scuttled
away with his tail between his legs.

87

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

'Well, it's nine 'underd and fifty thousand
petties/ muttered our master now that the last of
the stoopers had got up their heads, 'it's nine
'underd and fifty thousand petties that I hadn't
got close away at his brush, for I'd ha' killed
'im to a dead certainty. Never was a fox
better 'unted than that ! Science, patience,
judgment, skill, everything that constitutes an
'untsman — Goodhall, himself, couldn't ha' done
it better! But it's not for mortals to com-
mand success,' sighed our now greatly dejected
master.

Just as Mr. Jorrocks was reining in his horse
to blow his hounds together, a wild, shrill, view
holloo, just such a one as a screech-owl gives on
a clear frosty night, sounded through the country,
drawing all eyes to Camperdown Hill, where,
against the blue sky, sat a Wellington-statue-like
equestrian with his cap in the air, waving and
shouting for hard life.

The late lethargic hounds pricked their ears,
and before Mr. Jorrocks could ejaculate the word

88

' Now lead htm over!' cried Mr. Jorrocks,
applying his zvhip fretly to Xerxes, and
giving Ben a sly, accidental cut. Page 83

THE 'CAT AND CUSTARD-POT' DAY

' Pigg ! ' the now excited pack had broke away,
and were streaming full cry across country to
where Pigg was perched.

' Get away hooic ! Get away hooic f ' holloaed
our master, deluding himself with the idea that he
was giving them leave. ' Get away h-o-o-ick ! Get
away h-o-o-ick!' repeated he, cracking his pon-
derous whip.

The hollooing still continued — louder if pos-
sible than before.

'Blow me tight!' observed Mr. Jorrocks to
himself, ' wot a pipe the feller 'as ! a'most as good
as Gabriel Junks's ! ' and returning his horn to his
saddle, he took a quick glance at the country
for a line to the point, instead of crashing after
Charley Stobbs, who seemed, by the undue ele-
vation of his horse's tail on the far side of a fence,
to be getting into grief already. 'There 'ill be a
way out by those stacks,' said Mr. Jorrocks to
himself, eyeing a military-looking line of burly
corn stacks drawn up on the high side of a field
to the left : so saying he caught Arterxerxes short

M 89

HUNTS WITH JORKOCKS

round by the head, and letting in the Latchfords,
tore away in a desperate state of flutter and
excitement, the keys and coppers in his pockets
contributing to the commotion.

Mr. J. was right, for convenient gaps con-
verged to these stacks, from whence a view of
the farm-house (Barley Hall) further on was
obtained. Away he next tore for it, dashing
through the fold-yards, leaving the gates open as
if they were his own, and catching Ben draining
a pot of porter at the back-door. Here our fat
friend had the misfortune to consult farmer Short-
stubble, instead of trusting to his own natural
instinct for gaps and gates, and Shortstubble put
him on a line as wide of his own wheat as he
could, which was anything but as direct a road
as friend Jorrocks could have found for himself.
However, Camperdown Hill was a good prominent
feature in the country, and by dint of brisk riding,
Jorrocks reached it in a much shorter time than
the uninitiated would suppose he could. Now
getting Arterxerxes by the mane, he rose in his

90

THE 'CAT AND CUSTARD-POT' DAY

stirrups, hugging and cramming him up the
rugged ride to the top.

When he reached the summit, Pigg, whose
sight was much improved, had hunted his fox
with a very indifferent scent round the base of
the hill, and having just got a view, was capping
the hounds on as hard as ever his horse could
lay legs to the ground, whooping and forcing the
fox away into the open.

'Wot a man it is to ride ! ' ejaculated Jorrocks,
eyeing Pigg putting one of Duncan Nevin's nags
that had never seen hounds before at a post and
rail that almost made him rise perpendicularly to
clear. ' Well done you ! ' continued Mr. Jorrocks,
as with a flounder and scramble James got his
horse on his legs on the far side, and proceeded
to scuttle away again as hard as before. 'Do
believe he 's got a view o' the varmint,' continued
Mr. Jorrocks, eyeing Pigg's cap-in-hand progress.

' Wot a chap it would be if it could only keep
itself sober ! ' continued Mr. Jorrocks, still eyeing
James intently, and wishing he hadn't been too

91

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

hard upon him. ' Of all 'bominable vices under
the sun that of hintemperance is the most de-
gradin' and disgustin',' continued our master em-
phatically, accompanying the assertion with a
hearty crack of the whip down his leg.

Jorrocks now gets a view of the varmint steal-
ing away over a stubble, and though he went
stouter than our master would have liked if he
had been hunting himself, he saw by Pigg's deter-
mined way that he was master of him, and had
no doubt that he would have him in hand before
long. Accordingly, our master got Arterxerxes by
his great Roman-nosed head, and again letting
the Latchfords freely into his sides, sent him
scrambling down hill at a pace that was perfectly
appalling. Open went the gate at the bottom
of the hill, down Jorrocks made for the Long
Tommy ford, splash he sent Arterxerxes in just

like Johnny Grilpin in Edmonton Wash —

' throwing the water about,
On both sides of the way,
Just like a trundling mop,
Or a wild goose at play.'

92

THE 'CAT AND CUSTAKD-POT' DAY

Then having got through, he seized the horse by
the mane, and rose the opposing bank, deter-
mined to be in at the death if he could. ' Blow
me tight ! ' ejaculated he, ' do believe this hungry
highlander will grab him arter all ! ' And then
rising in his stirrups and setting up his great
shoulders, Jorrocks tore up the broken Mugger-
camp lane, sending the loose stones flying right
and left as he went.

'If they can but pash him past Ravenswing-
scar,' observed Mr. Jorrocks, eyeing the leading
hounds approaching it, ' they '11 mop 'im to a
certainty, for there's nothin' to save 'im arter it.
Crikey! they're past! and its U.P. with old Pug!
"Well, if this doesn't bang Bannager I doesn't
know what does ! If we do but kill 'un, I '11
make sich a hofierin' to Bacchus as 'ill per-
fectly 'stonish 'im,' continued Mr. Jorrocks,
setting Arterxerxes agoing again. ' Gur-r-r along !
you great 'airy 'eeled 'umbug ! ' groaned he,
cropping and rib-roasting the horse with his
whip.

93

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

Arterxerxes, whose pedigree, perhaps, hasn't
been very minutely looked into, soon begins to
give unmistakable evidence of satiety. He
doesn't seem to care much about the whip, and
no longer springs to the spur. He begins to play
the castanets too in a way that is anything but
musical to Mr. Jorrocks's ear. Our master feels
that it will very soon be all U.P. with Arter-
xerxes too.

* Come hup, you snivelling drivellin' son of a
lucifer match-maker!' he roars out to Ben, who
is coming lagging along in his master's wake.
' Come on ! ' roared he, waving his arm frantically,
as, on reaching the top of Ravenswing-scar, he
sees the hounds swinging down, like a bundle of
clock pendulums, into the valley below. 'Come
hup, I say, ye miserable, road-ridiri', dish-lickin'
cub ! and give me that quad, for you 're a disgrace
to a saddle, and only fit to toast muffins for a
young ladies' boardin'-school. Corre hup, you
preter-pluperfect tense of 'umbugs ! ' adding, * I
wouldn't give tuppence a dozen for such beggarly

94

THE 'CAT AND CUSTARD-POT' DAY

boys ; no, not if they 'd give me a paper bag to put
them in.'

Mr. Jorrocks, having established a comfortable
landing-place on a grassy mound, proceeded to
dismount from the nearly pumped-out Arterxerxes,
and pile himself on to the much fresher Xerxes,
who had been ridden more as a second horse than
as a whipper-in's.

' Now go along ! ' cried our master, settling him-
self into his saddle, and giving Xerxes a hearty
salute on the neck with his whip. 'Now go
along ! ' repeated he, ' and lay yourself out
as if you were in the cut-me-downs,' adding,
' there are twenty couple of 'ounds on the
scent ! '

' By 'eavens, it 's sublime ! ' exclaimed he, eye-
ing the hounds, streaming away over a hundred-
acre pasture below. ' By 'eavens, it 's sublime !
'ow they go, screechin' and towlin' along, jest
like a pocket full o' marbles. 'Ow the old wood
re-echoes their melody, and the old castle seem-
ingly takes pleasure to repeat the sound. A

95

HUNTS WITH JOEROCKS

Jullien concert's nothin' to it. No, not all the
bands i' the country put together.'

* How I wish I was a heagle ! ' now exclaimed
Mr. Jorrocks, eyeing the wide stretching vale
before him. ' How I wish I was a heagle, 'overin'
over 'em, seein' which 'ound has the scent, which
hasn't, and which are runnin' frantic for blood.

'To guide a scent well over a country for a
length of time, through all the changes and
chances o' the chase, and among all difficulties
usually encountered, requires the best and most
experienced abilities,' added he, shortening his
hold of his horse, as he now put his head down
the steep part of the hill. Away Jorrocks went
wobbling like a great shape of red Noyeau jelly.

An accommodating lane serves our master
below, and taking the grassy side of it, he
pounds along manfully, sometimes hearing the
hounds, sometimes seeing Pigg's cap, sometimes
Charley's hat, bobbing over the fences; and, at
more favoured periods, getting a view of the
whole panorama of the chase. Our master is in

96

'Wot a man it is to ride!' ejaculated
Jorrocks, eyeing Pigg putting one of
Duncan Neviris nags that had never seen
hounds before at a post and rail that
almost made him rise perpendicularly to
clear. Page 91

THE 'CAT AND CUSTARD-POT' DAY

ecstasies! He whoops, and shouts, and grins,
and rolls in his saddle, looking more like the
drunken Huzzar at the circus, than the sober,
well-conducted citizen.

'F-o-r-rard on!' is still his cry. Hark! They've
turned and are coming towards him. Jorrocks
hears them, and spurs on in hopes of a nick.
Fortune favours him, as she generally does the
brave and persevering, and a favourable fall of
the land enables our friend to view the fox still
travelling on at an even, stealthy sort of pace,
though certainly slower than the still pressing,
squeak, squeak, yap, yap, running pack. Pigg
and Charley are in close attendance, and Jorrocks
nerves himself for a grand effort to join them.

'I'll do it,' says he, putting Xerxes at a
well broken-down cattle-gap, into Wandermoor
Common. This move lands him well inside the
hounds, and getting upon turf he hugs his horse,
resolved to ride at whatever comes in his way.
Another gap, not quite so well flattened as the
first, helps our friend on in his project, and
N 97

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

emboldened by success, he rams manfully at a
low stake and rice-bound gateway, and lands
handsomely in the next field. He thus gains
confidence.

1 Come on, ye miserable, useless son of a lily-
livered besom-maker,' he roars to Benjamin, who
is craning and funking at the place his master has
come so gallantly over. ' Rot ye,' adds Jorrocks,
as the horse turns tail, 'I'll bind ye 'prentice to
a salmon pickle r.'

The next field is a fallow, but Jorrocks chooses
a wet furrow, up which he spurts briskly, eyeing
the country far and near, as well for the fox, as a
way out. He sees both. The fox is skirting the
brow of the opposite heathery hill, startling the
tinkling belled sheep, while the friendly shepherd
waves his cap, indicating an exit.

1 Thank 'ee,' cries Jorrocks, as he slips through
the gate.

There is nothing now between him and the
hounds, save a somewhat rough piece of moor-
land, but our master not being afraid of the pace

98

THE 'CAT AND CUSTARD-POT' DAY

so long as there is no leaping, sails away in the
full glow of enthusiastic excitement. He is half
frantic with joy !

The hounds now break from scent to view and
chase the still flying fox along the hill-side —
Duster, Vanquisher, and Hurricane have pitched
their pipes up at the very top of their gamut, and
the rest come shrieking and screaming as loudly
as their nearly pumped-out wind will allow.

Dauntless is upon him, and now a snap, a
turn, a roll, and it 's all over with reynard.

Now Pigg is off his horse and in the midst
of the pack, now he's down, now he's up, and
there 's a pretty scramble going on !

' Leave him ! leave him ! ' cries Charley, cracking
his whip in aid of Pigg's efforts. A ring is
quickly cleared, the extremities are whipped off,
and behold the fox is ready for eating.

'O Pigg, you're a brick! a fire brick!' gasps
the heavily perspiring Mr. Jorrocks, throwing
himself exhausted from his horse, which he leaves
outside the now riotous ring, and making up to

99

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

the object of his adoration, he exclaimed, * O
Pigg, let us fraternise ! ' Whereupon Jorrocks
seized Pigg by the middle, and hugged him like
a Polar bear, to the mutual astonishment of Pigg
and the pack.

'A — a — a wuns man, let's hev' him worried!'
roared Pigg, still holding up the fox with both
hands high above his head. 'A — a — a wuns
man, let's hev' him worried,' repeated James, as
Jorrocks danced him about still harder than
before.

* Tear }im and eat 'im ! ' roars Pigg, discharging
himself of the fox, which has the effect of
detaching Jorrocks, and sending him to help at
the worry. Then the old boy takes a haunch,
and tantalises first Brilliant, then Harmony, then
Splendour, then Vengeance, all the eager young
entry in short.

Great was Mr. Jorrocks's joy and exultation.
He stuck his cap on his whip and danced about
on one leg. He forgot all about the Cat and
Custard-Pot, the gob full of baccy, and crack in

100

THE 'CAT AND CUSTARD-POT ' DAY

the kite, in his anxiety to make the most of the
victory. Having adorned the headstall of his own
bridle with the brush, slung the head becomingly
at Pigg's saddle side, and smeared Ben's face
plentifully with blood, he got his cavalcade in
marching order, and by dint of brisk trotting
re-entered Handley Cross just at high change,
when everybody was abusing him for his conduct
to poor Pigg, and vowing that he didn't deserve
so good a huntsman. Then when they saw what
had happened, they changed their tunes, declar-
ing it was a regular preconcerted do, abused both
James and Jorrocks, and said they'd withdraw
their subscriptions from the hounds.

101

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

CHAPTER Y

PINCH-ME-NEAR FOREST

A if Mr. Jorrocks's hunting appetite grew
by what it fed upon, he passed a very
restless, feverish night, dreaming of all
sorts of hunting casualties, and greatly disturbing
Mrs. Jorrocks's repose by his evolutions. At
length, thinking he was throwing down a stone
wall, to pick up his fox, he set his feet against
her with such force as sent her flying out of
bed, and so finished the performance. Mrs. J.
went off to Belinda's room, and our master got
up, though it was only five o'clock. Early as he
was, however, Pigg, who had not gone to bed at
all, was before him, and when Mr. Jorrocks got
downstairs, he found him at a sumptuous break-
fast with Batsey in the back kitchen. Setting

102

PINCH-ME-NEAR, FOREST

Pigg off to the stable, Mr. Jorrocks took his
place at the table, and rated Batsey soundly for
encouraging a man of Pigg's ' unsteady 'abits.'

Batsey justified herself on the score of pro-
moting her master's sport. ' Pigg,' she was ' sure
was nothin' to her.' She didn't want to be Mrs.
Pigg. Not she, indeed ! She could do better
than that any day, she 'oped! 'Pigg, forsooth!'
and she bounced about, and banged the butter
upon the muffins and toast, as if her feelings
were outraged in the extreme. How the dispute
might have ended is doubtful, for in the midst
of it Batsey gave Mr. Jorrocks a kidney so hot
off the fire, that he burnt his mouth, and as he
danced about the kitchen floor, unable to retain
it, yet unwilling to give it up, she took advantage
of the opportunity and slipped quietly away, to
have a cry in her own room. Our master then
finished his breakfast with a blistered mouth,
as best he could, and then followed Pigg to
the stable.

It was so dark when Pigg gave Mr. Jorrocks

103

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

his horse, that our master was obliged to feel
along his back to his tail, to be sure that he
hadn't got hold of Xerxes instead of Arterxerxes ;
for though if our friend had been selling him,
he would have sworn that Xerxes was far the
best of the two — finest 'oss wot ever was seen,
in fact — yet an inconvenient jerk he had with
his hind- quarters in his jumps, more than counter-
balanced any little additional speed he had over
Arterxerxes. It took Mr. Jorrocks more time
to get shuffled back into his saddle after a leap
on Xerxes, than Arterxerxes would have lost by
his steady laborious plodding, to say nothing of
the inconvenience of riding on a horse's neck,
instead of on his back. But to our story. Pigg,
like a prudent man, had coupled the strange
hounds with some of their own, or they would
have been all over the town in no time. Master
and man spurred briskly on, Jorrocks acting
whipper-in, and Pigg yoicking and coaxing the
hounds to him as best he could. They cleared
the town, and got to the Whickenby Gate before

104

'Yons itV exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks after
a careful survey of the now developed
scene. 'Yons itV repeated he, pointing
with his ponderous whip towards a dark
mass in the distance. Page 106

PINCH-ME-NEAR FOREST

the 'pike-man was up; and violent was the
clattering, and dread the denunciations that
Jorrocks hurled at his white cotton night-capped
head, when at length he popped it out to inquire
the cause of the row.

Our friends didn't get much use of the hard
road for their money, for Pinch-me-near Forest
being quite a back-slum sort of place, that nobody
ever wanted to see, the roads all seemed to shun
it, and it was only by very vague conjectures and
speculative cuts that our friends managed to steer
towards it at all. Not that the forest itself was
worse than any of its Royal brethren; indeed,
it was better than some, for Prettyfat neither
stole the wood himself, nor knowingly suffered
others to steal it, his being the easy do-nothing
style of management, that let the trees grow if
they liked, or if they didn't like, let them stand
still and die, or be blown down and rot at their
leisure. He made his reports regularly and fairly,
and so long as he got as much money as paid
his own salary and the wages of his labourers,
o 105

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

he felt he fulfilled all the duties of a faithful
servant of the Crown, and did all that a grateful
nation could require.

A very rubicund sun at length began to
struggle through the dull leaden clouds, gradually
revealing hill and dale, fields, fences, and en-
closures, the whole paraphernalia of a landscape,
just like a child's puzzle-map getting put together.

'Ton's it!' exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks after a
careful survey of the now developed scene.
'Yon's it!' repeated he, pointing with his
ponderous whip towards a dark mass in the
distance.

'Ar's warn'd ye, is't,' replied Pigg, replenish-
ing his mouth with tobacco. 'Ar's warn'd ye
is 't. It 's a gay bit off though.'

' Trot on ! ' retorted Mr. Jorrocks anxiously,
spurring Arterxerxes vehemently, an insult that
the animal resented by a duck of his head and
a hoist of his heels.

Bump, bump, trot, trot, squash, splash, swosh,
they went through the open fields, over the

106

PINCH-ME-NEAR FOREST

commons and heaths of a wet, sterile, Pewitey
country, which gradually got worse as they neared
the stunted brushwood of the straggling forest.
At length they came upon a nest of forest
squatters, with their wretched mud cabins and
rolling fences, by whom they were directed to a
smart, well-hung green gate, with a cattle-gap
on either side, as the commencement of Mr.
Prettyfat's inattentions. Some well-used horse
trods, converging towards a gently rising hill on
the right, from whence a curl of clear smoke
was now rising, favoured the supposition that
the representative of Royalty was not far off.
Though the morning was in its pride yet when
our friends got to the front of the neat rose-
entwined house — the windows were as white as
the rough cast walls — there were no signs of
animation of any sort. 'The beggar's not hup
yet, I do believe,' observed Mr. Jorrocks, spur-
ring the great splaw-footed Arterxerxes right on
to the trimly shaven grass-plot in the centre of
the carriage ring. Rising in his stirrups, and

107

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

clearing his throat with a prolonged y-e-a-u-u-p !
as he prepared his big whip for execution, he
gave such a cannonade of a crack, as sounded
through the house and reverberated in the forest.

'Sink, but that's a good 'un!' grinned Pigg,
listening to the oft-repeated echoes.

Scarcely were the words out of his mouth,
before, bang, went a lattice-window up above,
and a rival of the red-faced sun appeared beneath
the night-capped head of the Deputy-surveyor.

' What are you doin' here ? ' roared a stentorian
voice.

' Rum, ar say ! rum ! ' exclaimed Pigg, thinking
he was asking what he would have to drink.

' Doin' 'ere ! ' replied Mr. Jorrocks, whose ears
had served him better. ' Doin' 'ere ! vy I be come
to 'unt the foxes to be sure ! '

'Hunt the foxes,' retorted Prettyfat indig-
nantly. 'Is this a time to come and hunt foxes
— none but chimney-sweeps would disturb one
at this hour.'

'Sink, gin ye '11 had mar hus aril get off

108

PINCH-ME-KEAB, FOKEST

and fight 'im ! ' exclaimed Pigg, furious at the
comparison.

' Hush!' said Mr. Jorrocks, 'let me talk to 'im.'

' Vy, didn't I tell ye I 'd come hearly ? ' asked
our master, rising in his stirrups and speaking
in a conciliatory tone.

'Come early,' repeated Prettyfat, recollecting
the wide-margined official, 'come early, yes, but
you don't call tramplin' on a genTman's grass-
plot comin' early, do ye ? You don't 'spect to
find a fox there.'

'Hoot, thou 'ard feuil, what's thou grumblin'
'bout thy grass-plat for?' demanded Pigg, in a
tone of derision.

'Treasonous, traitrous rogues,' exclaimed
Prettyfat. ' I '11 hand you over to the law officers
of the Crown.'

'Let's off!' ejaculated Jorrocks, catching
Arterxerxes short round by the head — 'Let's
off! — I've no relish for law, still less for horna-
mentin' the top of Temple Bar with my 'ead';
so saying our master spurred through the pack,

109

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

and treading on a couple of hounds, raised such
a clamour as drowned the further observations
of the Sylvan Viceroy. Down they dived into
the wood again. They had not got very far
before they met Prettyfat's perspiring drab-turned-
up-with-grease flunkey, panting along with a pitch-
fork in his hand, who exclaimed, on seeing them
— ' Oh gen'l'men ! genl'men ! you should ha' been
here a bit sooner (puff), that tarnation fox has
been at the (puff), poultry again.'

' You don't say so ! ' grinned Mr. Jorrocks,
pulling short up and standing erect in his stirrups.
1 You don't say so ! Show us the way on 'im
and I'll sarve 'im out. Off with the couples,
Pigg,' added he, turning to James, who was
already on the ground disengaging the draft.
Away they tear in all directions, howling and
towling like mad. A shrill blast of the horn gets
them into a smaller compass, and Mr. Jorrocks
trots on preceded by the man, to show him where
he last saw the fox. Old Ravager first drops his
stern, feathers, but speaks not, when one of the

110

PINCH-ME-NEAR FOREST

new noisy ones immediately gives tongue, and
the sage taking a fling in advance, gave some-
thing between a squeak and a note, which being
immediately endorsed by the rest, they drive with
an echoing crash into the thick of the forest.
Now our friend's misfortunes commence, for the
further they get from the seat of government, the
worse the riding becomes. Impervious thickets,
through which hounds meuse, but horses can
make no way, soon separate them from the pack,
whose music falls fainter on the ear ; our anxious
master pushes on, through the wet sterile sand,
or slobby quagmires, impeded ever and anon by
a fallen tree — in hopes that a favourable turn may
again land him with the pack — 'Dash my vig,'
says he, shortening his hold of Arterxerxes, who
all but falls over a fern-concealed log — ' Dash my
vig, I wish I mayn't brick my neck in this terrible
desert — most outlandish place I ever was in.'

* It is a rum place,' observed Pigg, doing the like.

"Ark! where are they?' asked Mr. Jorrocks,
pulling short up, with his hand to his ear.

Ill

HUNTS WITH JOEROCKS

'They seem arle oour,' replied Pigg; 'wish
these Quorn dogs may be quite what they oout.'

'It's the confounded hecho,' observed Mr.
Jorrocks, still listening attentively.

' Ar tell ye, they Ve divided,' asserted Pigg.

' Then turn them,' rejoined Mr. Jorrocks.

'Torn them thyselV retorted Pigg, dropping
his elbows and starting off at a canter.

' Now where 's the man goin' to ! ' exclaimed
Mr. Jorrocks, eyeing his fast-receding huntsman
diving into the thicket — 'Wot's he a leavin' me
'ere for ? ' continued he, feeling the desolation of
his position. ' Wish I may ever find my way out,'
continued he, looking around on the grey un-
healthy scene of stunted desolation.

Thinking to stick to Pigg, at all events, our
master set Arterxerxes agoing again, and blobbed
on in his deep, black imprints. Sorry work it
was for old Arterxerxes, who was no great hand
at going through deep. Jorrocks spurred him,
and jagged him, and cropped him, and called him
all the great lumberin', henterprizeless beggars he

112

' \Vhat are you doiri here?* roared a
stentorian voice. Page 108

PINCH-ME-NEAR FOREST

could think of. In the excess of his energy —
he overshot the mark, and kept right on, instead
of turning short up a track on the left. The one
he kept, from a uniformly rotten surface, now
became alternately soft and hard, the water
standing in the hollows like baths, and these,
Arterxerxes, as if suspicious of treachery, com-
menced leaping, but possibly finding the trouble
greater than he expected, he soon took to
blundering through them, squirting the muddy
water about in all directions. The forest still
continued the same forlorn, unprosperous-looking
place; where the wet stood, moss grey, aguish-
looking trees were dying by the middle, while
higher up, the oaks battled with the briars and
other smothering rubbish. Our master, how-
ever, was too busy to observe anything of the
sort — all he knew was, that it was werry bad
riding. The sound of the horn on the left first
caused him to pause and ponder whether he was
on the track of Pigg. There were footmarks, but
not so fresh as his should be. Another unmis-
p 113

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

takable twang, and Mr. Jorrocks determined to
alter his course. Where all was so bad, there
was nothing to choose. Accordingly he swung
Arterxerxes short round, and turned him up
another rushy, waterlogged track, that seemed
to lead in the direction of the horn. Desperately
bad the riding was. The nature of the ground
seemed to change, and from hop-pole-like ash
and alder, to be stocked with nothing but stunted
birch. The soil was black and peaty, with here
and there the outline of a long-subsided drain.

'Blow me tight,' muttered Mr. Jorrocks,
shortening his hold of his horse, ' I wish I mayn't
be gettin' bogged,' and scarcely were the words
out of his mouth ere Arterxerxes floundered up
to the shoulders in a moss hag, shooting our
friend softly over his head on to his side.

1 W-o-a-y 'oss! W-o-a-a-y I ' roared our master,
now kicking on his back like a lively turtle,
expecting to have the struggling animal a top
of him every moment.

'W-o-a-y 'oss! w-o-a-a-y!' repeated Jorrocks,

114

PI1TOH-ME-NEAR FOREST

jerking himself off to the side. The horse beat
and plunged, and groaned and heaved, still
stemming the black slough of despond, until he
got fairly through, when after standing a second
or two to shake himself, he set off at an un-
provoked trot, leaving our master in a most
unhappy state of bewilderment as to how he
should ever catch him, or get home without him.

' Dash the beggar,' groaned Jorrocks, as he saw
him rolling his great hind-quarters away in the
distance — * Dash the beggar, but I wish I was a
top on 'im, I 'd give 'im summut to run for ' ; so
saying, our master gathered himself together, and
skirting the moss hag, commenced the unpleasant
performance of running in top boots. Squish,
squash, splash, he floundered, now over the in-
steps, now up to the ankles, now almost up to
the knees. He soon began to sob and sigh — * Oh
dear ! oh dear ! ' groaned he, * did ever mortal man
see sich a road — might as well try to run in a
river. And that confounded quad,' continued he,
eyeing Arterxerxes still on the move. * Dash my

115

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

vig, but I'd give ye summut to run for if I had
'old on ye — I 'd make ye cry " Capevi ! " my frind.
Drot the road ! ' exclaimed he, as he plunged into
a rush-concealed rut, and squirted the dirty water
up into his face. ' Well this is a pretty perform-
ance,' continued he, mopping himself with a great
crimson bandana — * Beats all others into fits.
Con-found these bye-days. They 're always gettin'
on me into grief. And now the brute's gone
altogether,' as the vista closed without Arterxerxes
on the scene. * 'Ark ! I 'ear 'ounds. No, they 're
crows. Well, if this isn't a sickener, I don't know
wot is — might as well try to run i' the mud off
'Ungerford stairs, as in this sludge. Shouldn't
like to clean these bouts I know,' continued he,
looking down on his black, and all black, tops.
A bit of sound ground again tempted him into
a trot, and at length brought him to the rising
ground up which great Arterxerxes had dis-
appeared. * Oh dear ! oh dear ! ' groaned Mr.
Jorrocks as a stitch in his side suddenly stopped
him. * Oh dear ! oh dear ! I 'm regularly floored.

116

PINCH-ME-NEAB, FOREST

Might as well try to follow Halbert Smith hup
Mont Blanc as Arterxerxes hup this incorrigible
mountain' ; so saying our heavily-perspiring master
sought the support of a fallen willow, and dis-
tributing himself equitably among its branches,
sofa fashion, proceeded to bewail his lamentable
condition. * Oh dear ! oh dear ! ' groaned he, * was
there ever sich an misfortunit indiwidual as John
Jorrocks ! was there ever an independent British
grocer made sich a football on by fortin ? Tossed
about the world like an old 'at. Tempted from
the 'olesomest, the plisantest, the most salubri-
some street i' London to take these 'ounds, and
then be drawn into this unpardonable wilderness.
Nothin' but rushes, and grass that Nebuchad-
nezzar 'imself would turn up his nose at. Oh
dear! oh dear!' continued he, as his thoughts
reverted to home and Handley Cross, ' shall never
see my dinner this day, Torbay soles with Budle
cockle sauce, Dartmoor forest mutton, puddin',
and taturs under the meat, 'stead of starvin' in
a dreary desert — happed up by cock robins or

117

HUNTS WITH JOEEOCKS

other benevolent birds'; a thought that so dis-
tracted our master as to cause him to start and
turn in his couch, when the rotten main prop to
his back giving way, he came crashing and smash-
ing to the ground.

' There/1 ejaculated Mr. Jorrocks, 'there!' re-
peated he, as he lay among the rotten fragments.
* Fallen a 'underd feet from the grund! Broke
every bone in my skin, I do believe. Bet a
guinea 'at to a 'alf-crown gossamer I 'aven't a 'ole
bone i' my body.' So saying our master having
carefully shaken first one limb and then another,
to ascertain the amount of the mischief, rose
slowly from the wet ground, and after anathe-
matising the deceptive, unfriendly tree, resumed
the tracking of his horse up the hill. His boots
were now well ' salivated' as he would say, and
the cold bog-water poached and churned as he
went. But if his feet were cold, his temper was
warm, and various were the recreations he pro-
mised Arterxerxes. He would ride 'his tail off,'
then recollecting how little he had, he 'would

118

PINCH-ME-NEAR, FOREST

ride him till he dropped.' Then he would 'skin
him alive, and make his hide into a hair trunk ' —
then he would cut it into whip thongs — -next into
shoe-strings — finally he would give him ' to the
first mugger he met.'

As Mrs. Glasse would say, however, ' first catch
your horse,' and this seemed a remote possibility,
for though our master in the course of a two
miles' tramp, which he called ten, did get a view
of him once, the grass was of too coarse and
uninviting a character to induce the animal to
take more than a passing snatch as he went,
which he did at a pace that seemed well calcu-
lated to last for ever. At length our master was
fairly exhausted, and coming to a part of the
forest that ran out into rocks and sandy heathery
hills, he threw himself upon his back on a large
flat stone, and kicking up first one leg and then
the other, to let the bog-water out of his boots,
moaned and groaned audibly. Beginning at a
guinea, he bid up to a hundred and twenty, to
be back at Handley Cross, and two hundred

119

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

and fifty to be back in Great Coram Street,
clear of the 'ounds and all belonging to them.
And he vowed that if Diana would only 'ave
the kindness to come to his assistance that
once, he would never trouble her with any
more of his vagaries. No, indeed he wouldn't,
he would sell his 'ounds and his 'osses, burn his
boots and his Beckford, and drive about in a
pill-box the rest of his life.

120

1 Mind the bull r

Page 122

THE SHORTEST DAY

M

CHAPTER YI

THE SHORTEST DAY

R JOKROCKS'S next adventure in the
hunting line originated in a very

furious letter from a gentleman, sign-
ing himself 'John Gollarfield, farmer, Hardpye
Hill,' complaining bitterly of the devastation of
his hen-roost, and calling loudly for vengeance
against the foxes. Accordingly our master made
a meet for Hardpye Hill, instead of Langton
Pound, as he intended.

The road to the hill lying through some
roomy enclosures, and Christmas having let loose
its enterprise upon the country, great was the
spurting and racing that marked the line there.
Mr. Jorrocks, arrayed in his best pink, jogged
pompously on with his cavalcade, receiving the
Q 121

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

marked attention of the country. Arrived at
the hill, he turned into a grass field to give his
hounds a roll and hear the news of the day —
how Miss Glancey was after Captain Small — how
Mrs. Buss had captivated old Frill. Then, when
the cantering, smoking cover hack swells came
up, they resolved themselves into a committee
of taste, scrutinising this hound and that, passing
their opinions on the pack generally, and on the
Bugginson hounds in particular. Some thought
they were coarse, some thought they were
common; but when they heard they were drafts
from the Quorn, they were unanimous in think-
ing they must be good — especially when Mr.
Jorrocks broadly hinted he had given Day ten
guineas a couple for them. The noise the party
made prevented their hearing sundry ominous
moans and lows in the neighbourhood, which
gradually rose to a roar, until a simultaneous
crash, and cry of 'Mind the bull!' drew all
eyes to the bank of the adjoining fence, where,
with head down and tail up, a great roan bull

THE SHORTEST DAY

was seen poising himself preparatory to making
a descent upon the field. Down he came with
a roar that shook the earth to the very centre,
and sent the field flying in all directions. Mr.
Jorrocks, who was on foot among his hounds,
immediately rushed to his horse, which Ben had
let loose, but making a bad shot at the stirrup,
he became a point (Fappui for the bull, who
after him with a vigour and determination that
looked very like a finisher. Our master was
carried, clinging to the neck, half across the
field in a 'now on, now off*' sort of way that
would have made any one feel very uncomfort-
able who had an annuity depending on his life.
At last he got fairly into his saddle, and setting
himself down to ride, he threw his heart boldly
over a stiff 'on and off,' and shoved Xerxes at
it in a way that proved too many for the bull.
Ploughing up the pasture with his feet, in his
effort to stop himself as he neared it, he tossed
his great wide-horned head in the air, and utter-
ing a frightful bellow that thundered through

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HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

the valley and reverberated on Hardpye Hill,
he turned, tail erect, to take a run at some one
else. And having succeeded by the aid of gates
in placing a couple more enclosures between
them, Mr. Jorrocks sought a rising ground from
which he thought over the magnitude of his
adventure, and how he would like to have Leech
to draw him taking the leap. And having gained
breath as he magnified it, and having duly con-
gratulated himself upon his escape, he out with
his horn and blew his hounds together, leaving
Hardpye Hill as he came, and entering among
the anathemas in his Journal the following : —

' Con-found all farmers say I, wot don't tie up
their bulls ! '

A bad beginning in this case did not make
a good ending, for though our master drew on
till dark, which it was at half-past two, he never
had a touch of a fox, and he sent word to
Gollarfield, by the mole-catcher, that he was a
'reg'lar 'umbug,' and Pigg desired the man to
add that he would fight him for what he pleased.

124

POMPONIUS EGO

I

CHAPTER VII

POMPONIUS EGO

great Mr. Ego having exalted the
horns of the principal hunts in the
kingdom, was now spending his time
pleasantly between London and Paris — living at
Calais — from whence he emerged at short notice
to attend buttering matches in England ; and the
glowing account he gave of some great man's
establishment, caused Mr. Jorrocks to pant for
that enduring fame which statuary and stationery
best can give. Accordingly he made the overture
contained in the following letter : —

' DEAR MR. HEGO,

'If your intercourse with Dukes and other great
guns o' the world leaves any margin for the doin's of
the pop-guns o' the chase, I shall be werry 'appy if you
will come here and take a look at our most provincial

125

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

pack. In course I needn't tell you that my 'ouse is not
large enough to require a kiver 'ack to canter from the
dinin'- to the drawin'-room, neither is the pack on a par
with many you have seen; but I can give you a good
blow-out, both in the way of wittles and drink, and shall be
'appy to " put you up," as they say in the cut-me-downs,
on as good a quad as I can, and show you sich sport as
the country will afford. Entre nous, as we say in France,
I want to be famous, and you know how to do it. In
course mum 's the word.

* Yours to serve,

'JOHN JORROCKS.

'PS. — Compts. to Julius Seizeher and all the ancient
Romans when you write.

* Diana Lodge, Handley Cross Spa.
'To POMPONIUS EGO, ESQ., Calais.'

V

The following is Mr. Ego's answer : —

* DEAR MR. JORROCKS,

'You remind me of Catullua! None but the old
Latian could have put the point as you do. D — m all
dukes ! I 'm for mercantile life — £. s. d. — I shall have
great satisfaction in inspecting your pack, on Thursday
next, which I have no doubt I shall find all I can desire.
Pick me out an easy-going, sure-footed, safe-leaping horse,
with a light mouth, and let him have a Whippy-saddle

126

POMPONIUS EGO

on — I can't ride in any other. I like a bedroom with a
southern aspect — the feathers above the mattress, if you
please ; wax- candles and Eau de Cologne, will pitch the
tune for the rest. Compliments to Mrs. Jorrocks, from,
dear Jorrocks,

' Yours very truly,

'POMPONIUS EGO.

' PS. — What would you like to be done in ? The
Q. -ft.,1 the H. T., Fraser, Blackwood, New Monthly,
Encyclopedia, Life, Field, Era, or what ?

' To JOHN JORROCKS, ESQ.,
* Master of Fox-Hounds,

* Diana Lodge, Handley Cross Spa.'

This point being arranged, great preparations
were made for the important event. Hounds
may go on for centuries without being known
beyond the limits of their country, but the one
day that brings the Inspector-General lives for
ever in the page of history. Where, then, is
the master of hounds, where the huntsman, where
the whip, where the member of a hunt, whose

1 ' Q. R.' stands for Quarterly Review ; ' H. T.,' for Heavy
Triumvirate, which carries the lead, known in the trade as
the Old and New Sporting Magazines, and the Sporting
Review.

127

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

heart does not beat responsive with Mr. Jorrocks's
on this trying occasion? Who, in the familiar
language of low life, does not wish him well
out of it ?

• • • • • •

' Now, James,' said our master to his hunts-
man, as they stood in the kennel-yard looking
over the hounds, a few days before the appointed
visit, ' you must get all on the square ; the great
Pomponius Hego is a comin', and we shall be all
down in black and wite.'

* Who 's he ? ' inquired Pigg, scratching his
head.

' Vot ! not know Pomponius Hego ! ' exclaimed
Mr. Jorrocks, in astonishment ; ' you surelie don't
mean to say so.'

'Ar' dinna ken him, ar's sure,' replied Pigg,
with the greatest indifference. 'Is he a skeul-
maister ? '

'A skeulmaister ! ' repeated Mr. Jorrocks, with
a sneer and an indignant curl of his lip; 'a
skeulmaister ! No ! — a master of 'unting — not an

128

'Gabriel Junks'

Page 140

POMPONIUS EGO

M.F.H., like me, but a man wot makes hobserwa-
tions on M.F.H.s, their packs, their 'osses, their
'untsmen — their everything, in fact.'

' What 's he de that for ? ' inquired Pigg, with
surprise.

'Yy, that the world at large may know what
he thinks on 'em, to be sure. He prints all he
sees, hears, or thinks in a book/

Pigg. — * Ye dinna say se ! '

'Quite true, I assure you,' replied Mr.
Jorrocks; 'and if by any unlucky chance he
blames an 'untsman, or condemns a pack, it's
all dickey with them for ever; for no livin' man
dare contradict him, and every one swears by
wot he says.'

'Woons man,' replied Pigg, in a pucker, 'we
maun be uncommon kittle then ar' guess.'

' You must exert your hutmost powers,' replied
Mr. Jorrocks most emphatically; 'for dash my
vig, if we fail, I, even I — John Jorrocks himself,
will go perfectly mad with rage and wexation.'

'He'll ken all aboot the hunds and huntin'
R 129

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

then, ar's warn'd,' replied Pigg, catching the
infection of fear.

Mr. Jorrocks. — 'Oh yes! — at least he writes
about them; and no one disputes print. Oh
dear! oh dear! I almost fear I've made a mess
o' myself, by axin' of him to come. I question
if the world would not have been as 'appy without
the mighty Hego. Hoil, butter, sugar, soap, all
that sort o' thing is werry pleasant; but then
— oh, 'orror ! the idea of being rubbed the wrong
way by Hego ! Death itself would be better ! '

Pigg. — 'Hout, tout! — fear nout! there's nout
to boggle a man! Gin I were ye, with all yeer
brass, ar' wadn't care for neone.'

Mr. Jorrocks. — ' Ah ! but, Pigg ! — think of ham-
bition ! — think of fame ! — think of that summut
arter life wot prompts men to great hactions!
Here, for five-and-thirty years, have I been a
hardent follower of the chase — loved it, oh,
'eavens! for its own sake, and not from any
hanxious longins arter himmortality ! and now,
when greatness has been thrust upon me — when

130

POMPONIUS EGO

I shines forth an M.F.H. — to think that all may
be dashed from me, and 'stead of reignin' King
of 'Andley Cross — 'stead of bein' the great and
renowned John Jorrocks— I may be dashed t'
oblivion ! Oh, Pigg ! — hambition is a frightful,
a dreadful thing ! '

Pigg. — 'ffout, tout, fear nout. Does he ride, or
nabbut looks at pack at cover-soide loike ? '

Mr. Jorrocks. — 'Both, both — fust, he'll come
and look us all over, ax the name of this 'ound
and that — call 'em level — inquire 'ow each is
bred — talk of Hosbaldeston's Furrier, Lord Enry's
Contest, or Sutton's Trueman — look at this nag —
then at that — ax their pedigrees — their hages —
their prices — their everythings — vether we sum-
mers them in the 'ouse or in the field — do a
little about 'ard meat — 'ow much corn they get
— if we bruise it — vether we split our beans, or
give them whole — then when we throws off he
marks each motion — sees whether we put in at
the right end of the cover or the wrong —
observes whether the men have 'ands equal to

131

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

their nerves, or nerves equal to their 'ands ;
books their seats and their names — not their
seats by the coach, mind — but their seats in the
saddle. To read his accounts of the runs you'd
fancy he was everywhere at once, both before,
behind, and above — with the fox — with the 'ounds
— with the first, and with the last man in the
field — so knowin'ly does he describe every twist,
every turn, every bend of the run. Oh, Pigg!
my excellent, my beautiful Pigg! now that the
fatal day 'proaches, and I sees the full brightness
o' my indiscretion starin' me i' the face, I begins
to repent havin' axed him to come. Wot can
fame do for Jorrocks ? I have as much tin as
I wants, and needn't care a copper for no man.
Would that I was well out o' the mess ! '

'Never fear,' replied Pigg, 'here be good like
h'unds, and yeer husses can gan; if we de but
find, the deuce is in it if we don't cook him up
a run.'

'Oh, Pigg! my buck of a Pigg!' exclaimed
Mr. Jorrocks, 'those ifs are the deuce and all

132

POMPONIUS EGO

in 'unting — There's nothin' so difficult to ride
as an "if." If we find a fox, then there's the
difficulty of gettin' well away with him ; or if we
do get well away, then there 's the chance of his
bein' 'eaded back, or of there bein' no scent, or
of his takin' a bad line, or of his bein' chased
by a cur, or of his gainin' an earth we don't
know of, or of a great banging 'are misleadin'
the 'ounds, or of the fox beatin' us disgracefully
at the far end — these things are dreadful to the
anxious mind of an M.F.H. at all times, but 'orrible,
most 'orrible, at a time like the prisent.'

' Dinna fear,' replied Pigg, * dinna fear — you '11
see he'll be nowt but mortal man after all. If
you want to kill a fox, gan to big wood, and
have somebody there with black bitch.'

* Black bitch,' said Mr. Jorrocks thoughtfully,
1 black bitch — Wot should we want with black
bitch when we have all the 'ounds out ? '

* Hout, thou fondy ! ' said Pigg, ' doesn't thou
ken what black bitch is ? '

' No I doesn't — unless it 's a dog's wife.'

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HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

' Dog's wife ! ' roared Pigg ; ' Ne sike thing.
It 's a gun, man ! Just pop a few shot corns
into fox's hint-legs, and h'unds 'ill soon catch
him.'

' My vig ! ' exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, with an
air of sudden enlightenment, ' I Ve often seen
chaps in welweteen with guns at cover sides, but
never knew what they were there for. Ah, but,'
added he, with a shake of his head, 'Hego will
be up to the black-bitch rig — No, no, that won't
do — no use trying to 'oax him — it must be
summut genuine. Oh, Pigg, if you could but
manage to give him a real tickler, so that he
might have summut good to put in his book,
the gratitude of John Jorrocks should rest with
you for ever and ever — you should drink brandy
out of a quart pot for breakfast, dinner, and
supper.'

* You dinna say se ! ' exclaimed Pigg with
delight. 'Let's see — dang'd if ar ken — yes, ar
de tee — run a drag and sheck a bag fox at far
end loike.'

134

POMPONIUS EGO

Mr. Jorrocks. — ' That von't do — no not it. He '11
be sure to find out, and trounce us to all eternity ;
besides, if any of the Bell's Lifers were to catch
us, they 'd never let us 'ear the end on V

' Not they,' replied Pigg : ' Nebody 'ill find out
if ye de but had your gob — start i' big wood —
run drag round — bother him well — then out o'ur
big loup — give him summut to glower at, instead
o' h'unds.'

'No, Pigg, no,' replied Mr. Jorrocks, shaking
his head and jingling a handful of silver in his
pantaloon pocket ; * it must be summut more
genuine — Tally ho! yonder he goes! then elbows
and legs — elbows and legs ' ; Mr. Jorrocks suiting
the action to the word, by straddling and work-
ing an imaginary horse with his arms.

' Give him that tee,' replied Pigg ; ' stick chap
up a tree to holloa away — another on a hill to
had up hat, and so on.'

1 Ah, but so many cuks will spoil the broth,
Pigg ; so many cuks will spoil the broth. S'pose,
for a moment, one should peach! S'pose Hego

135

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

should find us out! I should sit on pins — on
wool-combers — with nothin' but summer drawers
on, till the account appeared, and then I question
I should have courage to cut the pages. Oh,
hambition ! hambition ! wot a troublesome warmint
you are ! Wish I 'd let the great man alone.'

Pigg. — ' A, man alive niver fear ; he cannot de
thee ne harm. Let me manish him, — ar'll give
him summut to bragg on.'

Mr. Jorrocks. — * I vish I dirst — you Scotchmen
are cliver fellers; but s'pose he should smell a
rat, 'ow he would trounce us, as much to show
his own 'cuteness, as to punish us for our
imperance ! '

'Ye've nout to fear, ar tell ye,' replied Pigg
confidently; 'ye've nout to fear; just leave it
arl to me, and had your jaw about it, and dinna
call me a Scotchman, and keep thy bit bowde-
kite quiet — ar'll manish matters.'

With much fear, and many misgivings for his
rashness in asking Ego to come, Mr. Jorrocks
at length consented to intrust the management

136

told you I was Ego?' . . . 'Whe
teWt me? Why, J or rocks, to be sure ! Whe
else should?' Page 143

POMPONIUS EGO

of the day's sport to his northern huntsman and
the feeder.

By these it was arranged to run a drag of
aniseed and red herring over some of the best
of their country, and to turn down a fox at the
far end, in some convenient, unsuspicious-looking
place. The evening before Mr. Ego was to arrive,
James Pigg communicated the find, the run,
and the finish, to Mr. Jorrocks, with such other
information as would enable our master to ride
to points without exciting suspicion, and Mr.
Jorrocks undertook to say as much to Benjamin
as would put the boy on his mettle, without let-
ting him too much into the secret.

s 137

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

CHAPTER YIII

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

A THICK white rind powdered the face of
nature, and Mr. Jorrocks found him-
self with a beautiful silver - foliaged
window in the morning. Still the evergreens in
the garden exhibited no symptoms of a nipping,
and as the night-clouds cleared off and the sun
stood forth all lurid in the firmament, he con-
gratulated himself on the appearance of opening
day. Mrs. Jorrocks, Belinda, Stobbs, Betsy, and
Benjamin were up with the lark, all busy pre-
paring for the great, well-known unknown. A
fly was despatched to the Datton station of the
Lily-whitesand railway to meet him, and punctual
to his time, Ego turned out at Diana Lodge,
enveloped in shawls, numerous greatcoats, and

138

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

a pair of French-jointed clogs to keep his feet
warm. Mutual salutations being over, and having
got rid of his husks, breakfast was attacked with
a true railway appetite — kidneys, chops, eggs,
muffins, crumpets, toast, red herrings, all the
delicacies of the season in short, that make
one's mouth water to write, vanished in succes-
sion, aided by large draughts of undeniable tea
and coffee from 'the Lane,' as Mr. Jorrocks
calls his place of business. At length they com-
pletely topped up, and after begging some brandy
to put in his flask, Ego rose from his seat and
began pacing about the room and looking out
of the window, as men are in the habit of
doing who want to be commencing a * New
Series' of the periodical occupations of life.
Stobbs had a bad headache — or pretended to
have one, not wanting to be butter'd.

Ten o'clock came, and as it struck, James
Pigg and Benjamin appeared outside the white
rails before Diana Lodge, clad in their best
habiliments, mounted, and each leading a horse.

139

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

Uncommonly spicy they all looked, for Pigg, re-
gardless of expense, had generously divided a
penny's-worth of ginger among the four, so that
their tails stuck up like hat pegs, and, as if in
sympathy with the horses, Gabriel Junks flew on
to the summit of the gateway arch, and expanded
a glorious tail to the rays of the sun, at the
same time setting up a scream that startled the
horses. Forth sallied Ego and Jorrocks; up
went the bedroom window, for Betsy to look out,
Mrs. Jorrocks appeared framed in the lower one,
with a face of most rubicund hue, while Belinda
peeped past the green and white chintz curtain,
and had her glimpse of the scene.

' There ! ' said Mr. Jorrocks, pulling up short
at the gate, seizing Ego by the arm as he pointed
to his stud ; ' there ! there are a lot of nags for
you — none of your cat-legged, tumble-down, kick-
me-off, brik-my-neck, split-my-skull beggars ; but
real seasoned 'unters, sure and steady, with an
eye for each foot, and one over. Binjimin,' said
he, turning to the boy, Hake up those stirrups

140

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

three 'oles, and don't let me catch you ridin' like
a dragon. Now, Mr. Hego, be arter mountin' —
time's precious, and punctuality is the purlite-
ness of princes. There,' said he, as Ego got
himself into his saddle on Talavera, 'you are
mounted — delightful! make a pictor for Leech!
Gave a mint o' money for that 'oss, but I doesn't
care a dump 'bout money, further nor as it
enables one to pursue the plisurs o the chase. —
Pigg, put Arterxerxes next the rails, so that I
may get on easy. Whoay, 'oss! Whoay!1 roared
Jorrocks, as the horse began fidgeting and hoist-
ing, on feeling his foot in the stirrup. * Whoay !
I say, you hugly brute!' adding, 'rot ye, but
I'll take the gay insolence out o' your tail afore
night.' A bold effort lodged him in the first
floor of the saddle, and, gathering up his reins,
Jorrocks turned Arterxerxes' head from the
house, the horse walking with his fore legs, and
kicking with his hind ones, an example imme-
diately followed by the other three. Away they
all go, kicking and snorting, amid the renewed

141

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

screams of the peacock and the shouts of the
little boys who had congregated about.

' And one and all aloud declare
'Twas a fit sight for country fair,
Far better than a dancing bear.'

The kennel reached, the pack were soon round
Pigg's horse's heels, and after a few consequential
cracks of his whip, and cries of ' Go on, hounds !
go on! to him! to him!' from Benjamin, as they
proceeded through the streets, which, as usual,
were all commotion to see them pass, they cleared
the town and entered upon the hedgerows of the
country.

Jorrocks now began to feel the full force of
his situation, and inwardly wished himself well
out of it.

'A niceM lot of hounds,' observed Ego
casually, as he brought his horse alongside James
Pigg, 'to look him over,' as he calls it; and
Pigg, who was rather sprung, instead of capping
him, gave him a most unceremonious stare.

* A dom'd nice pack ! ar should say,' replied Pigg.

142

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

* Humph!' said Ego to himself, 'a rummish
genius this, I guess — I am POM-PO-NIUS EGO,'
observed he, with an air of annihilation.

* Sae they say,' replied Pigg, turning his quid.
* What 's your cracks ? '

' What 's your whats ? ' repeated Ego to himself,
without being able to hit off the scent. 'Who
told you I was Ego ? ' inquired he, after a pause,
during which he kept scrutinising Pigg.

Pigg. — ' Whe tell't me ? Why, Jorrocks, to be
sure ! Whe else should ? '

' Whe else should f ' repeated Ego, in disgust,
'you 're a pretty fellow for a huntsman.'

'Ye '11 be wantin' a ticket, ar's warn'd,' ob-
served Pigg, pulling one of his 5s. pink paste-
boards out of his waistcoat pocket and tendering
it to him.

Ego looked unutterable things.

'Well, my frind, and vot do you think of the
'ounds?' inquired Mr. Jorrocks, who had had a
suck at his monkey, riding up at this critical
period. ' Some of the real sort for makiri' them

143

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

cry " Capevi " — all workmen — no skirtin', babblin',
overrunnin' beggars kept for show merely because
they are 'andsome — 'andsome is wot 'andsome
does, is my happhorism ? '

'A very good motto, Mr. Jorrocks,' observed
Ego ; ' a very good motto. We shall see presently
what they are made of. They seem a goodish
sort of hound — level — if anything, rather full of
flesh.'

* A werry good fault, too, at this time o' year ;
we shall soon work them fine enough,' replied
Mr. Jorrocks.

'As fine as Sam Nichol had his, eh? — that
poor John Warde used to say a man had only
to take his shaving-pot into the kennel, lather
his face, and scrape his face with the back
of a hound — he, he, he! good joke that, Mr.
Jorrocks, eh ? '

' Haw ! haw ! haw ! werry good joke, Mr.
Hego, werry good joke, indeed — have laughed
at it werry often — werry old friend o' yours and
mine, that joke. S'pose it will be due again

144

Ar niver gets off!' Page 167

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

soon ? Shall be ready to laugh at it again when
it appears.'

'Mixed pack, I see,' now observed Ego, who
had been scrutinising the hounds as they trotted
quietly along.

6 Mixed pack,' repeated Jorrocks gaily, adding:
'dogs I thinks correct the wolatile natur' o' the
betches. I 'old wi' Mr. Craven Smith,' continued
he, 'that though the betches are quicker nor
the dogs, they do not always show the same
sport, or kill the most foxes — another thing is,
I likes plenty o' music, and the betches are not
so free wi' their tongues as the dogs, and some-
times slip away without one's knowing it, which
is inconwenient, as it doesn't look well for a
gen'l'man, 'specially for an M.F.H., to go gallopin'
'bout the country, exclaimin', "'Ave you seen my
'ounds ? 'ave you seen my 'ounds ? "

'That will not often happen with you, Mr.
Jorrocks, I should think,' observed Ego, smiling
at our friend's substantial form.

'Not often,' replied our master, with a chuck
T 145

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

of the chin; 'not often — still it might, and one
doesn't like bein' left i' the lurch.'

' Certainly not,' assented Ego ; * certainly not
— nothing like being on good terms with your
hounds and your banker.'

'Nothin',' replied Jorrocks, "specially wi' sich
beauties as mine,' looking lovingly down upon
the pack.

'Some fairish-looking animals among them,
observed Ego, with up-turned lip.

' Fairish-lookin' hanimals 'mong 'em,' retorted
Jorrocks; ' fairish-lookin' hanimals 'mong 'em;
I tells ye wot,' continued he, drawing breath ;
'if they're not 'zactly the 'andsomest pack o'
'ounds i' the kingdom, they're the steadiest — the
wisest — and the best ! '

lln-deed!' bowed Ego, with a supercilious
smile.

'True guiders of a scent in 'ard runnin',
close, patient 'unters with a cold scent, and as
stout as steel.'

' In-deed ! ' bowed Ego again.

146

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

' I 'm not a conceited hass,' observed Jorrocks,
boiling up, 'wot thinks everything I 'ave is the
best ; and if I 'ears of good blood anywhere,
I'll 'ave it — as I said afoor, I doesn't care two-
pence 'bout tin, further nor as it enables me to
pursue the plisures o' the chase.'

* That 's your ticket ! ' exclaimed Ego.

' Sink ye, ye wadn't ha' it just now,' observed
Pigg over his shoulder, thinking the great man
had changed his mind, and wanted his insurance
ticket against hunting accidents.

' To hobtain a good run,' continued Mr.
Jorrocks vehemently, without noticing either of
these interruptions, ' to hobtain a good run, your
'ounds should not only 'ave good abilities, but
they should be hexperienced and well 'quainted
with each other. To guide a scent well over a
country for a length o' time, through all the
hintricacies and difficulties o' the chase, requires
first chop abilities,' added he, with a hearty slap
of his thigh.

* So it does,' assented Ego.

147

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

4 Keep the tambourine a-roulin' ! ' exclaimed
Pigg, who had been reining in his horse to hear
his master bounce.

' Yooi doit ! there, Warrior ! ' added he, with
a crack of his whip to a hound that was leading
others out of ear-shot.

* There's a fine 'ound,' observed Mr. Jorrocks,
again arresting the great man's attention, by
pointing out old Ravager, now trotting singly
along the footpath.

6 You '11 most likely be wishin' to say summut
soapy and plisant 'bout the pack, and you can't
lay it too thick on to him — Ravager, by Lord Yar-
borough's Rallywood out of his Ringlet. Would
gladly give fifty guineas a couple for a few more
sich. That's a nice dog too, Fugleman,' pointing
a speckled black and white one out. * Fugleman,1
by the Beaufort Potentate out of Foljambe's
Frantic; so's that,' pointing to a mealy-coloured
hound; 'Dorimont, by Drake's Duster out of
the Belvoir Blameless. Dorimont ! old bouy ! '

1 All gammon ! They were some of Bugginson's lot.

148

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

continued Mr. Jorrocks, rising in his stirrups,
and chucking him a bit of biscuit for answering
to his name. 'Dorimont, old bouy ! mind the
heyes of Hengland are 'pon you! In fact,' con-
tinued Mr. Jorrocks, sousing himself into his
great saddle, and dropping his voice as he took
Ego confidentially by the elbow, ' in fact, you
can't say too much in praise o' the pack — Quads
neither. I'm not a wain man,' continued Mr.
Jorrocks, 'far from it — but merit should be
noticed, and it's not never of no manner of use
keeping one's candle under a bushel. Is it?'
asked he anxiously.

'Not a bit!' replied Ego, with another slight
upward curl of his lip.

Our friends then bumped on for some time
in silence, Jorrocks wondering what Ego thought
of him, and Ego wondering if Jorrocks was really
the liberal, indifferent man about money he repre-
sented himself to be. Jorrocks was half inclined
to ask Ego how he proposed buttering him, lest
there might be any mistake, but just as he was

149

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

going to pop the tender question, Arterxerxes
gave such a terrible stumble, as nearly sent him
out of his saddle. He then took to jagging and
objurgating the horse, which put it out of his
head, and by the time he got himself and his
horse appeased, he was thinking of his dinner.

As they proceeded, the spangled hedges
dropped their jewels — the fields gradually re-
sumed their pristine hue — and on reaching Bump-
mead Heath, all nature smiled with the sweet-
ness of premature spring. What a concourse
was there ! Flys, carriages, gigs, hunters, hacks,
donkeys, all to see an author on horseback !

' There ! ' said Mr. Jorrocks, pointing to the
field as they turned from the road and entered
the wide expanding common, 'wot an 'unt mine
is ! Shall present them to you in reg'lar rotation
— largest subscribers fust, and so on, down to
the three-guinea coves. This little podgy cock
on the cob is Latitat the lawyer. Bein' a werry
thick-winded little sinner, they call him Whezey,
junior. Yon bouy on the brown, that is fidgetin'

150

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

about as though he didn't like his load, is Squire
Barnington, the man wot wanted to be master;
he gives fifty. My missis and his don't 'it it,
but we are werry good friends. He buys 'osses
like a brick, without bringin' all the relations and
frinds of this world to 'sist 'im. Barnington ! '
holloaed Jorrocks to him, ' come and be pre-
sented to the mighty Hego. This be him, with
the bird's-eye fogle round his squeeze — coolish
mornin' you see, and Hegotists1 are scarce —
keeps his throat warm.' Mr. Barnington and Ego
made mutual salutations with their hats. 'Hooi,
Fleecy ! ' roared Jorrocks to his secretary, who
was poking about among the group on a long-
tailed rat of a pony, with a slip of paper in his
hand and a pencil between his teeth, 'come and
pay your devours to Hego, the man wot makes
us all famous. This be my sec.,' observed Mr.
Jorrocks to Ego, adding in a lower tone, 'Does
a little word-combin' himself at times — signs him-
self Junius Secundus — you twig ! '

1 Nothing of the sort ; we wish they were. — AUTHOR.

151

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

* Proud to make the personal acquaintance
of Junius Secundus,' observed Ego, bowing and
laying his hand upon his breast. * Often heard
of him.' Fleeceall brings his hat in contact with
his heel.

'This be old Barleycorn/ observed Mr. Jor-
rocks, stopping a jolly-looking farmer, in dark
clothes, on a good-looking brown horse ; ' a werry
good friend to 'unting — always goes fust over his
own wheat.'

Pomponius Ego vouchsafed him a bow.

'Here comes a cove now,' observed Jorrocks,
laying hold of Ego's arm. 'Jest look at this
chap i' the cap and cut-away coat, with the
bridle all over buckles. " Dis arter six," I calls
him. His mother gets her tea o' me, and when
this young blade came to settle the bill, he
wanted dis arter six. Dis arter six ! ' exclaimed
Mr. Jorrocks with an emphasis. ' As if anybody
ever 'eard o' dis arter six ! The dirty-looking dog
in the plum-coloured coat and dingy Napoleons
wot's jest joined 'im, we call "Two upon Ten" —

152

1 Had bye, ardman! Sink! at* II be dingin
on ye down! Ye've ne carle to ride for
reputation!' Page 170

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

they 'urit in couples, Dis arter six and Two upon
ten. They took poor Two for a thief, and wen
he went into the shops, they used to sing out
" Two upon ten ! two upon ten ! " meanin', two eyes
on ten fingers — haw, haw, haw ! ' chuckled our
master, adding, * I won't interduce neither o'
them. But 'ere comes a good chap,' continued
he, 'Ridge the slater, gives ten pund, and pays
it too. Slates, old bouy ! ' continued Jorrocks,
beckoning him, 'come this way, and let me be
the makin' on you. Let me interduce you to
the great Mr. Hego, King o' the Chase, I may
call 'im.' Ridge made as bountiful a bow as
though he expected an order to roof in a
palace.

"Ere's another good chap,' continued Mr.
Jorrocks, 'Pigott the master plasterer — M.P., as
he calls himself. 'Ere, Piggy,' continued Jorrocks,
hailing him, ' let me do the splendacious by you.
Mr. Hego, let me interduce a reg'ler brick — fire-
brick, in fact — gives sivin pund to the 'ounds,
and pays it too.'

u 153

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

' Most praiseworthy character,' observed Ego
with a salaam.

'And 'ere's another good cove,' continued
Jorrocks, ' Sugar, the grocer. He 's a payin' sub-
scriber too, gives ten pund.'

' Five,' observed Sugar, whose real name was
Smith, with a smile.

'Five, is it?' growled Mr. Jorrocks, adding
aloud to himself, 'shalln't interduce you, then.
Yon chap trottin' along as if his wite choker
wouldn't let him look either to the right or the
left, is the Reverend Titus Cramcub, a learned
man like yourself — reads Lord Bacon's works, and
eats fat bacon for breakfast. He teaches the
young idea 'ow to shoot, but prefers 'unting him-
self, and as soon as 'ounds 'ave shaken off the
crowd, and settled to a run, he drops into the
front rank, and goes as if he couldn't 'elp him-
self. This is not a bad chap/ continued Mr.
Jorrocks, nodding towards a square-built man in
white moleskin breeches, an olive-coloured coat,
and boots to match, who now turned a well-

154

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

shaped gray upon the heath. ' This is not a
bad chap, Haimes the saddler, and I'll tell ye a
story 'bout him that may come into your palar-
varment, if you like. His trade lies a good deal
'mong the saints, who wouldn't 'prove of his
'tinting, so he always christens his 'oss Business,
and when any on 'em call when he's out, his
foreman says his master 's away on " business "
haw, haw, haw! he, he, he!' — a chuckle in which
the great journalist joined. 'This is a shabby
screw,' said Mr. Jorrocks, pointing to a man in
a rusty Bath-bricky scarlet, riding a badly-clipped
ewe-necked dun. 'He's 'unted all his life, they
say, and never given a copper to 'ounds, always
declarin' that each season was to be his last.
And, by the way, reminds me,' continued Mr.
Jorrocks, turning short on his secretary, "ow do
the chaps buck up now that they've got wot
they want in the way of an 'untsman ? '

'Why, only very middling, I'm sorry to say,
Sir,' replied Mr. Fleeceall. 'Somehow or other,
I never can find a man with any money in his

155

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

pocket. It's always, "Oh, I'll pay you next
time we meet," or " I s'pose you '11 be out on
Monday, when I will bring my subscription," —
but the happy day never comes.'

* Well, but that 's all nonsense,' ejaculated Mr.
Jorrocks, 'that's all nonsense. Won't do in a
commercial country like this, at least only for
landowners, and folks wot don't understand 'ow
money makes money. I'll tell ye wot ye must
do,' continued Mr. Jorrocks, ' I '11 tell ye wot you
must do,' repeated he, boiling up, 'you must get
a set of hiiiterest tables, and charge every man
Jack on 'em five per cent, from the day the
subscription becomes due.'

'Well, Sir, what you think right,' replied Mr.
Fleeceall.

'Well, I thinks that right,' retorted Mr.
Jorrocks, adding: 'if I was to get over the left
wi' Bullock and Ulker, d' ye s'pose they wouldn't
charge me five per cent., or may be more ?
They 'd be werry unlike bankers i' general if they
didn't. Why should I give tick wi' the 'ounds ? '

156

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

'Certainly not, Sir; certainly not/ replied
Fleeceall. 'The misfortin is, that every man
thinks what he owes is of no importance. Now,
there is Mr. Gillyflower coming up, as though
the county was all his own,' pointing to a stylish
young gentleman cantering along on a white
cover hack, attired in a spic and span new
scarlet coat, with patent leather fisherman boots
coming half up his thighs, and puffing large clouds
of smoke as he went; 'he is down for twenty
guineas, and I carn't get a halfpenny of it.'
Just then Mr. Gillyflower spying the master as
he cantered along, pulled short up, and taking
his cigar from his lips, accosted Mr. Jorrocks
with —

' Holloa ! good-morning — how are ye, old boy ? '

Mr. Jorrocks deigned no answer.

' Here 's a fine hunting morning, Mr. Jorrocks,'
he continued in a somewhat subdued tone, seeing
our distinguished stranger.

'A werry bad 'untin' mornin', I should say/
replied Mr. Jorrocks, looking very irate, and

157

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

unconsciously spurring his horse, who was still
fidgeting about, from the effects of the ginger.

1 A good scenting one, at all events, I should
think,' resumed the youngster, looking rather
disconcerted.

*A werry bad scentin' one, I should say,' re-
joined Mr. Jorrocks, ramming the spurs into his
horse, which the animal acknowledged by a
sudden and desperate kick, which fairly shot
our master over its head.

Great was the consternation ! Ego, Fleeceall,
Gillyflower, Barnington, Dis arter six, Two upon
ten, and half-a-dozen more, all leaped off their
horses at once, while Gillyflower caught the hat
and wig, and was loud in his hopes that Jorrocks
wasn't hurt.

'Hurt!' exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, his eyes
sparkling with rage, as he scrambled up and
replaced his lost head-gear, 'hurt, Sir,' he re-
peated, looking as though he would eat him, 'no,
Sir — not at all — rather the contrary ! '

Our hero, however, having fallen both clean

158

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

i
and soft, and having vented his anger upon his

non-paying subscriber, things soon resumed their
right course, while Pigg turned the accident to
account by sending Ben about with the insurance
tickets, singing out 'Take your tickets, gent!
please take your tickets! goin' into a hawful
country — bottomless brooks ! Old 'un got brandy
in his bottle ! Keg'lar cut-'em-down-and-'ang-'em-
up-to-dry country ! '

This traffic was in turn interrupted by an
extraordinary Hyena-looking cap and scarlet-
coated youth, with a cane-coloured beard and
moustache, cantering furiously about on a long-
tailed, cream-coloured hack, dashing at every
group of grooms and dark-coated horsemen, with
the inquiry — ( Have you seen my fellow ? Have you
seen my fellow ? ' At last he made for the pack,
and hazarding the same inquiry of Pigg, that
distinguished observer, after a careful though
somewhat impertinent scrutiny, exclaimed :

* N — o — r, ar'm d — d if iver ar did!1 and Mr.
Jorrocks, seeing the stranger arranging his whip

159

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

as if for action, and knowing Pigg's pugnacious
disposition, immediately gave the signal for throw-
ing off, and in an instant the glad pack were
frolicking over the greensward of the heath, with
the now contracting crowd pressing on after them.

160

A hat is waved near the windmill on the
rising ground. Page 177

CHAPTER IX

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY — continued

SOUTH GROVE, as our readers may remem-
ber, was the scene of Mr. Jorrocks's former
bag-fox exploit, and was well adapted for
such experiments. It was a long wood of stately
oaks, running parallel with the Appledove Road,
for about a mile, the wood widening into some-
thing like twelve acres towards the middle. The
other side was bounded by Bumpmead Heath,
and the country around was of that undulating
nature, that requires a man to ride close with
hounds, or run a chance of losing them. From
South Grove to Doitwich, the nearest cover, was
four miles, as the crow flies, but a judicious
winding of certain irregularities of surface would
not only lengthen it into five or six miles, but
x 161

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

also draw a bottomless brook twice into the run.
Another great advantage it possessed for Mr.
Jorrocks was, that sundry bridle-roads all made
for the next cover, and yet each by itself appear-
ing to lead in a different direction, no one who
did not know them would think of following him.

* But where 's Mr. Hego ? ' inquired he, looking
round, expecting to find him at his elbow.

*O, he's just trotted back to the Cock-and-
Bottle,' replied Mr. Fleeceall, 'he will be here
directly.'

' Wot can he want at the Cock-and-Bottle ? '
inquired Mr. Jorrocks. 'He doesn't need any
more jumpin' powder than he has in his pocket,
surely ! '

'No,' replied Mr. Fleeceall, 'but in looking
into his silver sandwich-box just now, he found
they had not put any mustard between the beef
and bread, and he can't eat it that way he says.
He will be back directly, I dare say — yonder he
comes, indeed ! '

'Then let's be doin', Pigg!' exclaimed Mr.

162

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

Jorrocks, as Ego neared them ; adding, ' Now,
Binjimin, mind your eye ! Marmeylad, you
know ! '

' Gently, hounds!' roared Pigg, as they ap-
proached the cover, and wanted to dash at the
spot they took the scent up on the former
occasion. * Have a care, all on ye ! ' added he,
with a crack of his whip, as they reached the
hedge.

6 Yooi, over in then ! ' cheered Pigg, cap in
hand, seeing they were bent upon breaking away.
' Yooi, over in!1 and every hound dashes into
cover, with rather more music than strict etiquette
would allow.

'Beautiful!' exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, fist in
side, hoping Ego might not hear the riot. 'Un-
kimmun heager certain^. Now, Mr. Hego, look
out for the find. They'll drag up to him with
all this rind, or whatever you call the stuff,'
knocking some of it off the bushes with his
whip. ' Have at him there, Manager, old man !
Undeniable 'ound that,' turning to Ego, and

1G3

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

pointing out a black-and-tan dog; even he
begins to speak, you may look arter your silver
sandwich-box, — haw! haw! haw!'

* Hoic in! hoic in/' cheered Pigg along the
ride, chuckling at the trick he was going to
play. * Have at him, Crowner ! good dog ! Yooi !
wind him, Lousey!' (Louisa) 'good bitch! Have
at him there, all on ye, and mind skeulmaister 's
lookin',' turning to Pomponius Ego with a grin,
and saying, ' Bain't that industry ? '

• •••••

' Tally-ho ! tally-ho ! tally-ho ! ' screamed Ben,
from the thickest part of the cover, as though
he were getting murdered.

'Hoic, holloa! hoic, holloa! hoic, holloa!1 ex-
claimed Ego, in the most orthodox style.

'A, how-way, canny man! how-way!' roared
Pigg, gathering up his reins and ramming his
spurs into his horse. 'How-way, ar say! dinna
stand blairin' there ! Whativer ye de, keep the
tambourine a roulinV

Away tore Pigg to the holloa, through bogs,

164

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

briars, bushes, and brambles, followed by Ego;
and now the full music of the pack proclaims
the finding of the drag. There is a tremendous
scent, for though it has lain an hour it is strong
enough to last a week. Round they go, full
swing, every hound throwing his tongue, and
making the old wood echo with their melody.

* They '11 kill him in cover,' observed Ego,
taking out his watch. ' Beckford 's wrong about
scent never lying with a white frost. I'll write
an article to prove it.' A momentary check
ensues — the drag has been lifted.

* Killed for a crown!' exclaimed Ego with
delight.

'Niver sick a thing; — niver sick a thing!'
retorts Pigg with a grin.

• •••••

Now they are on him again, and the old
oaks seem to shake with the melody.

• «..«•

1 Is he a big 'un, Ben?' asked Pigg, as they
meet at the junction of the rides.

165

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

* Uncommon!' exclaims Benjamin, gasping for
breath.

'Aye, but we'll bucket him,' responded Pigg,
turning his quid in his mouth; adding, 'ar'll be
the death of a shillin', ony how! Sink it!' added he,
' brandy and baccy 'ill gar a man live for iver ! '

It's now near leaving time, and Mr. Jorrocks
and the field come up in long-drawn file, the
worthy M.F.H. all excitement and agitation.

'Oh!' exclaims he, dropping his ponderous
whip down his leg with a heavy crash, 'if we
do but manish it, 'ow 'appy I shall be ! My vig,
they 're away ! '

Affable and Mercury top the fence out of
cover, and the whole pack follow with desperate
velocity. One twang of his horn is all Pigg
gives, and then sticking it into his boot, he gets
out of cover, hustles his horse, and settles him-
self into his seat. Away they go, up a long
grass field by the side of the cover, scent breast
high, the pack running almost mute, and the
slow ones beginning to tail.

166

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

Pomponius Ego having got a good start,
begins to spur, and passes Pigg in his stride,
singing out :

' When Greek meets Greek, then comes the tug-of-war I '

A stiff fence, with a strongly made-up gap, brings
him up short, and turning to Pigg, he holloas
out:

* I '11 hold your horse if you '11 pull it down ! '

'Ar niver gets off!' replied James, flying over
the fence.

A gap at the end by the wood lets Ego
through, and away he strides after Pigg, as hard
as ever his horse can lay legs to the ground.
Three or four more large enclosures are sped
over without any change of position, the hounds
going best pace all the time.

'Sink him, but he's made it o'er strang!'
exclaimed Pigg to himself, thinking of the drag ;
*ar wish they main't beat us,' looking at the
hounds running away from them.

167

HUNTS WITH JORHOCKS

A hat held against the clear blue sky pro-
claims the line over the hill.

1 That 's the way, on him,' exclaims Pigg, point-
ing to the holloa.

'Curse the fellow!' replies Ego, 'he'll have
headed him to a certainty,' inwardly rejoicing at
the thoughts of a check.

On they go, at a pace truly awful. The drag
has never been lifted till within a few yards of
the holloa on the hill, and the rising ground
tells on the heaving horses. Now they have a
check, and on ploughed land, too. The hounds
dash towards the fence beyond, and swing their
cast without a whimper.

Pigg sits like a statue, giving his horse the
wind, his eagle eye fixed upon the pack. They
throw up ; and now he takes out his horn, gives
one blast, and in an instant the pack are with him.

' I '11 lay my life he 's headed back ! ' exclaims
Ego. 'That confounded fool on the hill did all
the mischief. Do for once try back, as Beckford
says.'

168

'Look out of the winder, James, and see
wof un night it is! Page 186

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

'Forroard yonder, to the left of the harrow,'
whispers a confidant to James Pigg, 'then along
the bottom of the next grass field, and straight
over Ulverstone Pasture and Bysplit, to the back
of the red house yonder.'

' That can never be the line ! ' exclaims Ego,
wiping the perspiration from his brow. 'None
but a born idiot would make such a cast — in
the very teeth of the wind, too ! '

' How- way, canny man ! How- way ! ' exclaims
Pigg, waving his arm and pointing to Priestess,
hitting off the scent; 'how-way, ar say; what!
hast getten ne mair ink i' pen 1 '

Away they go, at best pace as before, but a
lane at the bottom of a turnip-field, a mile or
two farther on, again brings them up.

This check joins heads and tails. Mr.
Jorrocks, who has come pounding along, in a
state of desperate perspiring excitement, all eyes,
ears, and fears, through his pet line of gates,
jumps with his man at the point in the lane
where the drag has crossed. Both are in such a
Y 169

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

stew, that Jorrocks can only articulate, ' Headies !
'ow they go ! ' and Pigg, all anxiety to get his
hounds across before the tail comes up, exclaims,
* Had bye, ard man ! Sink I ar 'II be dingin on ye
down ! ' adding, ' ye 've ne carle to ride for reputa-
tion ! ' The tobacco-juice streams down either
side of his chin, and his lank hair floats on the
breeze as, bare-headed, he caps the hounds over
into the field. They are now upon grass again.
The scent lies parallel with the lane, and Mr.
Jorrocks, whose horse and whose self are nearly
pumped out, keeps on the hard road, followed by
a heterogeneous tail of mud-stained, elbowing
horsemen. The aspirants for fame stick to
the hounds, and follow them into every field,
Cramcub, who cast up as the hounds broke cover,
leading.

Nothing can be finer than the line ! Large
grazing grounds, some forty, none less than twenty
acres, are sped over, and twice Dribbleford Brook
comes in the way for those whose ambition is
waterproof. What a scene ! — what blobbings in

170

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

and scramblings out! what leavings of hind
legs and divings for whips, sticks, and cigar-
cases !

Jorrocks, who is well laid in on the road for
a view, screeches and holloas them on. 'Now,
Sugar! now Slates! now Dis arter six!' Then
up came Whezey, junior, looking very like
' enough.' ' Hover ye go ! ' roars our master,
cracking his ponderous whip. ' O, Mr. Jorrocks !
(puff) I must enter a (pant) nolle prosequij gasps
the exhausted lawyer. * Enter it then,' exclaims
our master, delighted at the symptoms of distress,
and saying to himself, ' If this don't 'stonish old
Hego, there arn't no halligators ! Come hup,
you hugly beast,' he adds to his horse, again
spurring and kicking him into a canter.

The hounds bend again to the right, the
stain of cattle rather slackens their pace, and
some heavy sticky fallows at length bring their
noses to the ground. "Eavens be praised!' ex-
claimed Mr. Jorrocks, easing his horse, and
eyeing them topping the fence between the

171

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

pasture and arable land : ' we may now have
a little breathin' time, and see if they can 'unt
as well as run. Oh, the beauties, 'ow they
spread ! one, two, three, and now all together —
oh! beautiful! beautiful! He's up the furrow.
Where 's Hego ! '

And echo answered ' Where ? '

Mr. Jorrocks is right. The mock ' thief o' the
world' has gone up the wet furrow, to the injury
of the firm of Herring and Aniseed, who carry
on business very languidly. Old Priestess's un-
erring nose alone keeps the pack on the line.
Pigg, however, is at hand, with a good idea of
the run of his fox, and now carries away a rood
of fence as he crashes into the field to his
hounds. His horse's neck begins to stiffen, and
there have been one or two ominous throat-
rattles, but Pigg hustles him along, and casts
his hounds forward to Sywell Wood. What a
crash! The feeble whimper that barely owned
the scent is changed into a full and melodious
chorus ; every hound throws his tongue, and

172

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

echo answers them a hundred-fold ! There 's a
rare scent !

The cover being open at the bottom, the
hounds are quickly through, and Pigg, catching
Benjamin at the far end, pulls him off his horse,
and makes a fresh start on the boy's.

Grass again greets the pack. The red-topped
house is neared, and the scent improves. The
hounds run stout, though, perhaps, not carrying
quite so good a head as might have been desir-
able, had Ego been near. On they go ; and now
a sudden check ensues at the corner of the
stackyard. The music that lately rent the air
is lulled, the hounds having swung a rocket-
like cast, stand staring with their heads in
the air.

* Who-hoop, gone to ground ! ' exclaims some one
in the rear, anxious for a termination of the
enjoyment.

' Not a bit of it? replies Mr. Jorrocks, knowing
better. ' 'OLD 'ARD ! ' roars he to the forward
roadsters, who are now getting among the hounds.

173

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

' You 'air-dresser on the chestnut 'oss ! ' holloaing
to a gentleman with very big ginger whiskers;
' PRAY 'OLD 'ARD ! '

' HAIR-DRESSER ! ' exclaims the gentleman, in
a fury, turning short round; ' I'm an officer in
the ninety-first regiment ! '

1 Then you hossifer in the ninety-fust regiment,
wot looks like an 'air-dresser, 'old 'ard,' replied
Mr. Jorrocks, trotting on, adding most uncon-
cernedly, 'Cast 'emforrard, Pigg! Cast 'emforrard!
or make a patent all round my hatter.'

On goes Pigg, making good the line the
warmint should have gone. Not a hound speaks !
— all mute as death.

'Werry rum, Pigg? said Mr. Jorrocks, winking
significantly to his huntsman, as the latter trotted
round with his hounds ; ' werry rum — for once
cast back — clear the way there, gen'lemen, if you
please, clear the way, who knows but you are
right upon the line o' scent ! ' cried Mr. Jorrocks
to the horsemen who were clustering about,
thinking of anything but what they ought.

174

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

That would not do.

* Oh dear ! oh dear ! that 's bad,' muttered Mr.
Jorrocks to James Pigg; 'where the deuce can
the fool ha' gone ? '

We may here state that Giles Gosling the
farmer, having seen Pigg and his comrade set-
ting out the line, and not exactly relishing their
progress over his wheat a little farther on, had
watched Maltby's coming, and seizing him, drag
and all, had stowed him away in his cellar.

'Ar mun just try to cross the line on him,'
observed Pigg, pulling his horn out of his boot,
and giving it a twang; 'put hunds forrard 'ard,
man,' said he to his master, trotting on, and
blowing as he went.

' Who ever saw such a cast ? ' exclaimed Ego,
who had now got draggled up ; ' your huntsman
must be mad, Mr. Jorrocks ! '

' I '11 lay a guinea 'at to a 'alf-crown wide-
awake he recovers his fox for all that,' replied
Mr. Jorrocks, with a good deal more confidence
than he felt.

175

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

' If he does I '11 eat him ! ' rejoined Pomponius
Ego, with an air of importance.

This prediction, coming from so high an
authority, combined with the state of the steam,
had the effect of stopping the majority of a
pretty well exhausted field, who all clustered
round Ego to relate their daring leaps, in hopes
of monthly immortality. *I leapt Dribbleford
Brook.' * I charged the ox-fence on the far side.'
*I never left the hounds.' 'I did this — I did
that ! ' Ambitious men !

With fear and anxiety on their faces, Pigg
and his master bumped on, in hopes of hitting off
the scent. Mr. Jorrocks was in a desperate stew.

'Oh, Pigg!' exclaimed he, as they got out of
hearing, ' I 'd give the world to finish wi' blood.
If you could but manish to kill him, 'ow grate-
fully obleged I should be to you and your heirs
for ever ! You shall drink brandy out of a pint-
pot for breakfast, dinner, and supper ! '

* Ye said a quart ! ' observed the man of the
north, eyeing his hounds.

176

' The old custo mer. ' Page 1 9 9

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

Jorrocks. — ' Did I ? I '11 be as good as my word.'

Pigg. — ( Ords wuns, ard man, fetch hunds on ;
does think, thou ard gouk, ar can hit him off o'
mysel' ? ' looking back at the hounds all straggling
behind Mr. Jorrocks's horse.

Mr. Jorrocks pockets the rebuke, and bestirs
himself to get the hounds on to his huntsman;
Pigg trots on, letting them feel for the scent as
they go.

Mr. Jorrocks bumps on, vowing all sorts of
vows to Diana, if she will only 'ave the kind-
ness to assist him that once. He would give
her a hat and feather ! He would give her a
swan's-down muff arid tippet ! Nay, he would
stand a whole rig-out at Swan and Hedgar's;
pettikits, bustle, and all !

Pigg's eagle-eye lights up, as a hat is waved
near the windmill on the rising ground.

' Yonder he is ! ' exclaims James, grinning with
delight.

'Yere?' inquires Mr. Jorrocks, all eyes, like
Gabriel Junks's tail.

z 177

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

Pigg spurs hie horse, and trots on to the
holloa.

It is the man, who has been waiting in anxious
expectation, and has just shook the fox.

After staring about, Reynard proceeds from
a crawl to a trot, and then sets his head for the
vale, from which the hounds have just come.

Pigg views him stealing past a plantation end,
and lays his hounds quietly on; they quickly
take up the scent.

A stranger in the land, the fox goes stoutly
down wind, with the hounds too near to give
him much chance for his life. As if anxious for
the promotion of the sport, he makes for the
vale, and the pack come swinging down the hill
in the view of the field planted below. Fresh
ardour is caught at the sight ! Those who ridi-
culed the cast are now loudest in its praise.
They reach the bottom, and fox and hounds are
in the same field. Now they view him ! How
they strain ! It 's a beautiful sight. Old Priestess
is tailed off, and Rummager falls into the rear.

178

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

Ah, age ! age ! Now Vanquisher turns him, and
races with Dexterous for the seize! Who-hoop!
Fox and hounds roll over together !

Now Pigg crushes through the Bullfinch at
the far end, followed by Mr. Jorrocks, who
doesn't even ask ' What there 's on t' other side ? '
Master and man race for the brush, but Pigg
throws himself from his horse, and has the fox
high in air just as the field come up in the
opposite direction. What delight is in every
countenance ! There is Pigg holding the fox
above his head, grinning and gaping, with his cap
on one side, his white neckcloth ends flying out,
and a coat-lap torn to ribands. Mr. Jorrocks
gets off his horse, and throwing his hat in air,
catches it again, and then kicks the crown out,
while his heaving horse stretches and shakes
himself after his unwonted exertion. Lather !
lather ! lots of lather ! Even dribbling Ben
catches the infection, and whoops and holloas
at the top of his voice.

Up comes Ego, and Mr. Jorrocks, with brush

179

HUNTS WITH JORKOCKS

in one hand and crownless hat in the other,
greets him on one leg, waving the proud trophy
about, and hurraying at the top of his voice,
t Hurrah! hurrah! hurrah! Allow me, Mr. Pom-
ponius Hego,' says he, 'to present you with the
brush of the werry gamest old thief o' the world
whatever was seen. Time, one hour and twenty
minutes, with only one check — distance, wot you
please to call it. Am sorry you weren't hup to
see the darlin's run into the warmint ! Did it
in style !

' Never were sich a pack as mine ; best
'ounds in England ! — best 'ounds in Europe ! —
best 'ounds in Europe, Hasia, Hafrica, or 'Merica!'
So saying, Mr. Jorrocks, resuming his equilibrium,
presented Ego with the brush, who received it
with laudable condescension.

' Now, vot will you do ? ' inquired Mr. Jor-
rocks ; ' eat your sandwiches and find another
fox, or eat your sandwiches and cut away 'ome ? '

' Why, for my part, I should like to try again,'
replied Ego; 'but I fear your horse's condition

180

THE POMPONIUS EGO DAY

is hardly equal to another burst ; added to which,
there's a frost in the air that will harden the
ground, and, perhaps, damage your hounds' feet.
I think, perhaps, we had better leave well alone.'

' So be it,' replied Mr. Jorrocks. ' Here, then,
you chap with the bandy legs ! ' calling to a knock-
kneed lad on the other side of the ring; 'fatch
me my 'at-crown, the cold strikes through my
cocoa-nut.' Having got it, Mr. Jorrocks stuck
the crown in in the best way he could, and,
remounting his horse, returned to Handley Cross
in state, and great exultation.

181

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

CHAPTER X

THE PROPHET GABRIEL

' f | ^HAT was Gabriel Junks ! ' exclaimed
Mr. Jorrocks, rising from his seat,
and rushing to the window.

Sure enough it was Gabriel Junks ; and after
a short pause, another scream, more shrill and
piercing, confirmed Mr. Jorrocks's surmise. Seiz-
ing his hat he rushed into the garden.

It was a misty sort of morning, and the sun
was labouring through the flitting clouds that
obscured its brightness. The wind, too, had got
into the south, and there was a fresh, growing
feeling in the air that spoke of spring and re-
turning vegetation. The peacock again screamed,
and sought the shelter of a laurel.

182

THE PROPHET GABRIEL

' As sure as my name 's John Jorrocks, there 's
goin' to be rain,' observed our worthy master,
scrutinising the bird. 'As sure as my name's
John Jorrocks, there 's goin' to be rain,' repeated
he. * Pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe ! ' exclaimed he, scraping
the crumbs from the bottom of his pockets and
throwing them to his prophet.

Gabriel Junks rushed from his retreat, and
having picked up the crumbs, stood eyeing Mr.
Jorrocks with a head-on-one-side sort of leer,
which he at length broke off by another loud
scream, and then a rattling spread of his tail.
Mr. Jorrocks and the bird were thus standing
vis-a-vis when James Pigg made his appear-
ance.

' I '11 lay a guinea 'at to a 'alf-crown gossamer,
there's goin' to be rain,' said Mr. Jorrocks to
his huntsman, pointing to the bird.

'Deil bon me if ar care,' replied Pigg; 'ar
hasn't gettin ne seeds, nor nothin' — maybe
Deavilbogers wad like a sup,' his mind harking
back to ' canny Newcassel.'

183

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

'Well, but, don't ye see, if it rains we can
have an 'lint,' said Mr. Jorrocks, astonished at
his huntsman's stupidity.

' Se we can ! ' exclaimed Pigg, all alive ; ' dash
it! ar niver thought o' that now — another bye-
day — sick a one as the first — ay ? '

*Vy, no — not exactly,' said Mr. Jorrocks, not
relishing an entire repetition; 'but s'pose we
have another turn at the old customer — go out
early, and drag up to the warmint, find him
when he's full — maybe a cock, or a hen, or
a Gabriel Junks aboard,' looking at the bird
still strutting about with his tail spread.

6 Sink it, aye ! ' said Pigg ; ' let 's gan f the
morn.'

Mr. Jorrocks. — 'If it comes wet we will. We
can feed th* 'ounds at all ewents, and be ready
for a start.'

The day continued hazy, but still no rain
fell. Junks, however, persisted in his admoni-
tions, and Mr. Jorrocks felt so certain it would

184

The death of ' the old customer. ' Page 203

THE PKOPHET GABRIEL

rain, that he had Pigg into the parlour in the
evening to make arrangements for the morn-
ing. Mrs. Jorrocks, Belinda, and Stobbs had
gone out to tea, and Mr. Jorrocks was left all
alone.

Master and man had an anxious confabulation.
Mr. Jorrocks was all for Pinch-me-near, while
Pigg recommended Hew-timber Forest.

Of course Jorrocks carried his point.

About nine Betsy brought the supper-tray, and
Jorrocks would treat Pigg to a glass of brandy-
and- water. One glass led to another, and they
had a strong talk about hunting. They drank
each other's healths, then the healths of the
hounds.

' I '11 give you old Priestess's good 'ealth ! ' ex-
claimed Mr. Jorrocks, holding up his glass. * Fine
old betch, with her tan eye-brows — thinks I never
saw a better 'ound — wise as a Christian!' Pigg
proposed Manager. Mr. Jorrocks gave Havager.
Pigg gave Lavender; and they drank Mercury,
and Affable, and Crowner, and Lousey, and
2 A 185

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

Mountebank, and Milliner — almost all the pack,
in short, each in turn being best. A, what a
dog one was to find a fox. A, what a dog
another was to drive a scent.

The fire began to hiss, and Mr. Jorrocks felt
confident his prophecy was about to be fulfilled.
4 Look out of the winder, James, and see wot'un
a night it is,' said he to Pigg, giving the log a
stir, to ascertain that the hiss didn't proceed from
any dampness in the wood.

James staggered up, and after a momentary
grope about the room — for they were sitting
without candles — exclaimed, 'Hellish dark, and
smells of cheese ! '

' Smells o' cheese ! ' repeated Mr. Jorrocks, look-
ing round in astonishment ; ' smells o' cheese ! —
vy, man, you've got your nob i' the cupboard —
this be the vinder,' continued he, rising and
opening some shutters painted like the cupboard
door in the other corner. Mr. Jorrocks undid
the fastening and threw up the sash.

The night was dark — black as pitch — not a

186

THE PROPHET GABRIEL

star was visible, and a soft warm rain was just
beginning to fall.

' Didn't I tell you so ? ' exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks,
drawing in his hand, and giving his thigh a hearty
slap ; * didn't I tell you so ? ' repeated he, ' I was
certain it was agoin' to rain, that Gabriel Junks
was never wrong !— Is better than all your wanes,
and weathercocks, and Aneroid glasses wot ever
were foaled. We '11 drink his 'ealth in a bumper ! '
So saying, Mr. Jorrocks and Pigg replenished
their glasses, and drank to * the health of Gabriel
Junks.'

Pigg then would treat his master to a song —
a song about ard Squier Lambton and his hunds :
so, ejecting his quid and filling a bumper, he
chaunted the following, our master chiming in,
and substituting the name of Jorrocks for that
of Lambton in the chorus : —

1 ' Though midnight her dark frowning mantle is spreading,

Yet time flies unheeded where Bacchus resides ;
Fill, fill then your glasses, his power ne'er dreading,
And drink to the hounds o'er which Lambton presides.
1 Tune — ' Weave a Garland.'

187

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

Though toast after toast with great glee has been given,

The highest top-sparkling bumper decides,
That for stoutness, pace, beauty, on this side of Heaven,
Unrivalled the hounds o'er which Lamb ton presides !
Then drink to the foxhounds,
The high mettled foxhounds,
We '11 drink to the hounds o'er which Lambton presides.

' Let Uckerby boast of the feats of the Baby,

And Raven scar tell what the Hurworth have done,
But the wide-spreading pastures of Sadberge can swear to

The brushes our fleet pack of foxhounds have won.
Then that Sedgefield, our country, all countries outvies, sir,

The highest top-sparkling bumper decides,
That we Ve foxes can fly, sir, or sinking must die, sir,

When pressed by the hounds o'er which Lambton presides.
Then drink, etc.

'Of their heart-bursting "flys" let the Leicestershire tell us,

Their plains, their ox fences, and that sort of stuff".
But give me a day with the Sedgefield brave fellows,

When horses ne'er flinch, nor men cry, hold, enough.
Whilst the blood of old Caesar our foxes can boast, sir,

May Lambton their only dread enemy be,
And the green waving whins of our covers my toast, sir.

Oh ! the hounds and the blood of old Lambton for me.
Then drink, etc.'

And Jorrocks did drink, and did whoop, and

188

THE PROPHET GABRIEL

did holloa, and did shout, till he made himself
hoarse. His spirits, or the brandy spirits, seemed
to have fairly run away with him. At length he
began to cool down and think of the morrow.

' Now you and I '11 have an 'unt,' observed Mr.
Jorrocks.

'Squier Stobbs '11 gan te, ar's warn'd,' ob-
served Pigg.

' Oh, never mind him,' replied Jorrocks, with a
chuck of the chin, * never mind him; no sayin'
when he may be 'ome — gone fiddlin' out with the
women.'

* He 's aye ticklin' the lasses' hocks,' observed

'You and I, at all ewents, will have an 'unt,
and see if we can't pivy that tormentin' old
customer. Never was sich a fox in this world.
Do believe he '11 be the death o' me, if I don't
finish him. — Shall never get through the summer,
for thinkin' on 'im. So now we '11 start at six — or
call it 'alf-past five, and see if we can't do the trick
afore breakfast. My vig ! if we do, wot a blow-out

189

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

we '11 have — you shall have a gallon of XX, and a
werry big-bottled gooseberry-tart for your break-
fast.'

' Ar 'd rayther have a ham-collop,' replied Pigg,
replenishing his mouth with tobacco.

' So you shall/ rejoined Mr. Jorrocks ; ' and
poached heggs into the bargain.'

The other arrangements were soon made — and
the brandy being finished, master and man sepa-
rated for the night.

190

ANOTHER LAST DAY

CHAPTER XI

ANOTHER LAST DAY

PIGG having curled himself up in his clothes
on the kitchen-table, awoke with the first
peep of day. He was at the stables
betimes, and dressed and fed the horses himself.
Mr. Jorrocks was equally early, having been
greatly tormented by the old customer, who had
appeared to him in his dreams in a variety of ways
— now running between his legs and upsetting
him, now nearly blinding him with a whisk over
his eyes from his sandy brush, again as the chair-
man of a convivial meeting of foxes who did
nothing but laugh and make finger fans to their
noses at him, crying, ' Ah, cut his tail ! Cut his
tail ! ' and mimicking his holloas and hunting
noises ; next sitting on a high stool, in his own
counting-house, writing a letter to BelTs Life

191

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

and the Field, declaring he was the worst sports-
man and greatest humbug that ever got upon a
horse ; anon, as a bull, with a tremendous fox's
brush, charging him, as Gollarfield's bull charged
him on the Hardpye Hill day, which ended as
usual in our master flooring Mrs. Jorrocks, who
vowed she would appeal to Dodson and the court
for the protection of injured ribs. Altogether
Jorrocks was sadly put out, and was full of envy,
hatred, malice, and all uncharitableness against
the old customer. Charley Stobbs, to whom Pigg
had sent word by Betsy, appearing just as our
master got down, rather encouraged him to hope
for the best, and sent him stamping to the door in
better spirits.

It was a lovely morning! Mild and balmy —
the rain had ceased, and the sun rose with
unclouded brilliancy, drawing forth the lately
reluctant leaves, and opening the wild flowers
to its earliest rays. The drops hung like
diamonds on the bushes, and all nature seemed
refreshed.

W alter FleecealPs ominous visage appear-
ing on one side of the gate, and Duncan
Neviris on the other, caused such a sen-
sation, that (to avoid the dust) many of
the gentlemen got into the fields, and
never came near the gate again. Page 208

ANOTHER LAST DAY

'This be more like the thing,' said Mr.
Jorrocks, hoisting himself into his saddle with
a swag that made old Arterxerxes grunt again;
'if there arn't a scent this mornin', there arn't
no hallegators ' ; with which wise observation he
turned his horse towards the kennel.

'Turn 'em all out,' said he to Pigg, adding
aloud to himself, 'We'll 'ave a good cry at all
ewents.'

The hounds partook of the general hilarity.
Out they rushed with joyous cry, and set the
horses capering with their frolicking.

The dry and dusty roads were watered — the
hedgerows were filled with the green luxuriance
of spring, and the golden poplar stood in bright
relief among the dark green pines and yews. If
a fox-hunter can welcome spring, such a day
would earn his adoration. All nature was alive,
but hardly yet had man appeared to greet it.
Presently the labourers began to appear at their
cottages. The undressed children popped about
the doors, cocks crew lustily, the lambs gambolled
SB 193

HUNTS WITH JOKROCKS

about the ewes, and indignant ganders flew at
the hounds' and horses' heels.

'Sink them goslin's!' said Pigg, eyeing a
whole string of them ; ' ar wish fox had ivery one
o' you.'

Our friends' frequent visits having made them
well acquainted with the way to the valuable
forest, they popped through gates and gaps, and
made short cuts through fields and farms, that
greatly reduced the distance they travelled on
the first occasion. After a couple of hours' steady
butter and eggs bumping, they found themselves
on Saddlecombe-hill, overlooking an oak-clad
ravine that gradually lost itself in the general
sterility of the wide forest. A slight change
. was just visible on the oak-buds ; the young
birch had got its plum-coloured tinge, while here
and there the spiry larch in verdant green, or
the dark spruce or darker fir, broke the massive
heaviness of the forest.

Jorrocks pulled up, as well to reconnoitre as
to see if he could hit off the smuggler's cave,

194

ANOTHER LAST DAY

which he had never been able to do, though he
made as diligent search as the agitation of pur-
suing the old customer would allow. He now
eyed the sun-bright forest far and near, north,
south, east and west, but identifying feature he
saw none. It might be anywhere.

The hounds presently interrupted the reverie,
by setting up the most melodious cry; and our
master, awakening to a sense of what he had
come out for, proceeded to distribute his forces
as he thought best for circumventing the old
customer.

' You take the far side, and cross by the crag,'
said Mr. Jorrocks to Pigg; 'Charley will keep
on this, and ven I hears you twang th' 'orn, I'll
throw th' 'ounds into cover'; saying which, Mr.
Jorrocks turned short round, and Stobbs assumed
the place that Pigg had just occupied in the rear.
• •••••

' Dash it, wot a mornin' it is ! ' exclaimed Mr.
Jorrocks, turning up his jolly face, beaming
with exultation ; ' wot a many delicious moments

195

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

one loses by smooterin' i' bed! — dash my vig!
if I won't get up at five every mornin' as long
as I live! Glad I've got on my cords 'stead o'
my shags, for it 's goin' to be werry 'ot,' continued
he, looking down on a pair of second or third-
hand whites. ' Tooi over, in there ! ' to the hounds,
with a wave of his hand, as Pigg's horn announced
he had taken his station.

In the hounds flew, with a chirp and a
whimper; and the crack of Pigg's whip on the
far side sounded like a gun in the silence
around.

'Yooi, spread and try for him, my beauties!'
holloaed Mr. Jorrocks, riding into cover among
the stunted underwood.

The pack spread, and try in all directions —
now here, now there, now whiffing with curious
nose round the hollies, and now trying up the
rides.

* There's a touch of a fox,' said Mr. Jorrocks
to himself, as Priestess put her nose to the
ground, and ran mute across the road, lashing

196

ANOTHER LAST DAY

her sides with her stern. A gentle whimper
followed, and Mr. Jorrocks cheered her to the
echo. ' The warmint 's astir,' said he ; ' that 's
jest where we hit on him last time.' Now
Priestess speaks again in fuller and deeper notes,
and Ravager and Lavender, and the rest of the
pack rush to the spot. How beautifully they
flourish — eager, and yet none will go an inch
without the scent.

* Yell done, old 'ooman ! speak to him again ! '
exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, delighted to hear the
old bitch's tongue; 'a fox for a pund; ten if
you like ! '

• •••••

The pack have now got together, and all are
busy on the scent. The villain has been astir
early, and the drag is rather weak.

'Dash my vig, he's been here,' says Mr.
Jorrocks, eyeing some feathers sticking in a
bush; 'there's three-and-sixpence at least for
an old fat 'en,' wondering whether he would
have to pay for it or not.

197

HUNTS WITH JOEROCKS

The hounds strike forward, and getting upon
a grassy ride, carry the scent with a good head
for some quarter of a mile, to the ecstatic delight
of Mr. Jorrocks, who bumps along, listening to
their music, and hoping it might never cease.

A check! They've overrun the scent. 'Hie
lack!' cries Mr. Jorrocks, turning his horse round;
'gone to the low crags I'll be bund — that's the
way he always goes ; I '11 pop up 'ill, and stare
him out o' countenance, if he takes his old line ' ;
saying which, Mr. Jorrocks stuck spurs into
Arterxerxes, and, amid the grunts of the horse
and the rumbling of the loose stones, succeeded
in gaining the rising ground, while the hounds
worked along the brook below.

The chorus grows louder ! The rocky dell
resounds the cry a hundredfold ! The tawny
owl, scared from his ivied crag, faces the sun
in a Bacchanalian sort of flight; wood-pigeons
wing their timid way, the magpie is on high, and
the jay's grating screech adds wildness to the
scene. What a crash ! Warm in the woody

198

ANOTHER LAST DAY

dell, half-circled by the winding brook, where
rising hills ward off the wintry winds, the old
customer had curled himself up to sleep till
evening's dusk invited him back to the hen-roost.
That outburst of melody proclaims that he is
unkennelled before the pack !

Mr. Jorrocks, having gained his point, places
himself behind a gnarled and knotted ivy-covered
mountain ash, whose hollow trunk tells of ages
long gone by, through a hole in which he com-
mands a view of the grass ride towards the
rising ground, upon which the ' old customer '
generally wends his way. There, as Mr. Jorrocks
sat, with anxious eyes and ears, devouring the
rich melody, he sees what, at first sight, looked
like a hare coming up at a stealthy, stopping,
listening sort of pace ; but a second glance shows
that it is a fox — and not only a fox, but his
identical old friend, who has led him so many
dances, and whose lightening fur tells of many
seasons' wickedness.

Mr. Jorrocks can hardly contain himself, and

199

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

but for his old expedient of counting twenty,
would infallibly have holloaed.

The fox comes close up, but is so busy with
his own affairs, that he has not time to look
about ; and before Mr. Jorrocks has counted
nine, the fox has made a calculation that the
hounds are too near for him to break, so he
just turns short into the wood before they get
a view. Up they come, frantic for blood, and
dash into the field, in spite of Mr. Jorrocks's
efforts to turn them, who, hat in hand, sweeps
towards the line the fox has taken. A momen-
tary check ensues, and the hounds return as if
ashamed of their obstinacy. Now they are on
him again, and Mr. Jorrocks thrusts his hat
upon his brow, runs the fox's tooth of his hat-
string through the button-hole of his roomy coat,
gathers up his reins, and bustles away outside
the cover, in a state of the utmost excitement
— half frantic, in fact ! There is a tremendous
scent, and Reynard is puzzled whether to fly or
stay. He tries the opposite side, but Pigg, who

200

ANOTHER LAST DAY

is planted on a hill, heads him, and he is beat
off his line.

The hounds gain upon him, and there is
nothing left but a bold venture up the middle,
so, taking the bed of the brook, he endeavours
to baffle his followers by the water. Now they
splash after him, the echoing banks and yew-
studded cliffs resounding to their cry. The dell
narrows towards the west, and Mr. Jorrocks rides
forward to view him away. A countryman yoking
his plough is before him, and with hat high in
air, 'TALLIHO'S' till he's hoarse. Pigg's horn on
one side, and Jorrocks's on the other, get the
hounds out in a crack; the countryman mounts
one of his carters, the other runs away with the
plough, and the three sportsmen are as near
mad as anything can possibly be. It's ding,
dong, hey away pop with them all !

The fallows carry a little, but there's a rare

scent, and for two miles of ill-enclosed land

Reynard is scarcely a field before the hounds.

Now Pigg views him ! Now Jorrocks ! Now

2c 201

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

Charley ! Now Pigg again ! Thirty couple of
hounds lengthen as they go, but there is no
Pomponius Ego to tell. The fox falls back at
a wall, and the hounds are in the same field.
He tries again — now he 's over ! The hounds
follow, and dash forward, but the fox has turned
short up the inside of the wall, and gains a
momentary respite. Now they are on him again !
They view him through the gateway beyond : he
rolls as he goes ! Another moment, and they
pull him down in the middle of a large grass
field!

'Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!'' exclaims Mr. Jor-
rocks, rolling off his horse, and diving into the
middle of the pack, and snatching the fox,
which old Thunderer resents by seizing him
behind, and tearing his white cords half-way
down his legs. ' Hooray ! ' repeats he, kicking
out behind, and holding the fox over his head,
his linen flying out, and his enthusiastic old face
all beaming with joy.

'Oh dear! oh dear!' exclaims he, dancing

203

ANOTHER LAST DAY

about with it over his head; 'if ever there was
a warmint properly dusted it's you,' looking the
fox full in the face ; ' you 've been a hugly
customer to me, dash my vig if you haven't';
and thereupon Mr. Jorrocks resumed his capers
singing :

' Unrivalled the 'ounds o'er which Jorrocks presides !
Then drink to the fox-'ounds,
The 'igh-mettled fox-'ounds,
We '11 drink to the 'ounds o'er which Jorrocks presides/

'Sink ar's left mar Jack-a-legs ahint,' says
Pigg, wanting to cut off the fox's brush. 'Has
ony on ye getten a knife ? '

The cart-horsed countryman has one, and
Jorrocks holds the fox, while Pigg performs the
last rites of the chase.

With whoops and holloas Jorrocks throws the
carcass high in air, which, falling among the
baying pack, is torn to pieces in a minute.

Joy, delightful joy, is theirs, clouded by but
one reflection — that that was the last day of the
season.

203

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

They re-enter Handley Cross by half-past nine,
and at ten sit down to breakfast, Pigg getting
such a tuck-out as he hadn't had since he left
his ' coosin DeavilbogersV

204

THE WANING SEASON

CHAPTER XII

THE WANING SEASON

f • ^HE season was wearing out apace.

An unusually dry spring brought the

country forward, and set the farmers to

their fences and their fields. Ploughs and harrows

were going, grain was scattering, and Reynard

was telegraphed wherever he went.

' You bain't a comin' this way again, I s'pose,'
observed each hedger, as he drove his stakes
into the ground to stop up the gaps.

The hazel-drops began to hang from the
bushes, the larch assumed a greenish tint, and
the groves echoed to the sound of minstrelsy.
The wood-pigeons had long been exhorting Davy
to take two cows, when he was about it —

' Take two coos, Davy,
Take two coos,'

205

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

as some ingenious gentleman has interpreted
their mild melody. The rooks, indeed all the
birds, were busy — primroses opened their yellow
leaves, and the wood anemone shot into life
and wild luxuriance. The broom was parched
and the gorse sun-burnt.

After many days of declining sport, including
two or three after the old customer, the follow-
ing ominous paragraph at length appeared in
the Paul Pry, under the head of

'HUNTING INTELLIGENCE.

'Mr. Jorrocks's hounds will meet at Furzy
Lawn Turnpike, on Wednesday, at nine o'clock
precisely.' Significant notice! Another 'last day'
about to be added to the long list of ' last days '
that had gone before. The old-stagers sighed
as they read it. It recalled many such notices
read in company with those they would never
see again. The young ones said it was a 'pity,'
but consoled themselves with the thoughts of
a summer in London, a yachting or a fishing
season. The would-be sportsmen who had been

206

THE WANING SEASON

putting off hunting all the winter began to
think seriously of taking to it next, and to make
arrangements for November.

The morning of the last day was anything
but propitious. The sun shone clear and bright,
while a cutting east wind starved the sheltered
side of the face — horses' coats stared, the hounds
looked listless and ill, and men's boots carried
dust instead of mud -sparks. Fitful gusts of
wind hurried the dust along the roads, or raised
it in eddying volleys on hills and exposed
places. It felt like anything but hunting ; the
fallows were dry and parched, the buds on the
trees looked as if they thought they had better
retire, and all nature yearned for rain — rain would
be a real blessing.

Still there was a goodish muster of pinks,
and the meet being on the road, sundry flys
and other sporting equipages contributed their
quota of dust. Great was the moaning and
lamentation that the season was over. Men
didn't know what they should do with them-

207

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

selves all the summer. What wild resolutions
they might have pledged themselves to is un-
certain, for just as the drawing up of vehicles,
the cuttings in and out of horsemen, the raising
of hats, the kissing of hands, and the volleys of
dust, were at their height, Walter Fleeceall's
ominous visage appearing on one side of the
gate, and Duncan Nevin's on the other, caused
such a sensation, that (to avoid the dust) many
of the gentlemen got into the fields, and never
came near the gate again. Added to this a
great black cart stallion, with his tail full of
red tape, whinnied and kicked up such a row,
that people could hardly hear themselves speak.

At nine o'clock, half blinded, half baked, and
quite bothered, Mr. Jorrocks gave the signal for
leaving the meet. It was a wildish sort of try,
and every farmer having recently seen a fox at
some distance from his own farm, James Pigg
just run the hounds through turnip-fields, along
dike-backs as he called the hedgerows, and
through any little spinneys that came in his

208

THE WANING SEASON

way, till he got them to Bleberry Gorse. What
a change had come over the hounds since last
they were there ! Instead of the eager dash in,
they trotted up to it, and not above half the
hounds could be persuaded to enter.

* Eleu in, mar cannie hinnies!' holloaed James
Pigg, standing erect in his stirrups and waving
his cap; but the 'cannie hinnies' didn't seem
to care about it, and stood looking him in the
face, as much as to say so. ' Hoic in there,
Priestess ! Hoic in ! ' continued he, trotting round
the cover, and holding them at the weak places,
in hopes of striking a scent. ' Ne fox here,'
said Pigg to himself, watching the waving of the
gorse as the hounds worked leisurely through it.
6 Ne great odds, either,' continued he ; ' could

mak nout on him if there was.'

......

* Where will you go to next, James ?' inquired
Mr. Jorrocks, coming up, horn in hand, prepar-
ing to call his hounds out of cover.

' A ! ar dinna ken, ar 's sure,' replied Pigg ;
2o 209

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

'mak's little odds ar think — might as well hunt
o'er a pit-heap, as i' seek a country as this/
looking at the baked fallows round about.

'Well, never mind,' replied Mr. Jorrocks, 'this
is our last day, and high time it was ; but we
mustn't let it be blank, if we can 'elp it— so let's
try Sywell Plantation — the grass at all ewents
will carry a scent, and I should like to hear the
Jenny Linds again afore we shut up, if it was
only for five minutes.'

Out went the horns — Mr. Jorrocks determined
to have a blow, if he could have nothing else,
and the hounds came straggling out of cover,
some lying down at his horse's heels, others
staring listlessly about.

'Never saw such a slack pack in my life,'
exclaimed Captain Shortflat, eyeing them as he
spoke : ' I wonder what Scrutator would say if
he saw them! Never saw such a listless lot of
animals — glad I've not wasted my season by
hunting with them.'

Captain Shortflat's opinion was caught by

210

THE WANING SEASON

Master Weekly (at home for the measles), who
immediately sported it as his own to his school-
fellow, Master Walker (at home for the hooping-
cough) ; and it at length coming to Mr. Bateman's
ears, he immediately attributes their slackness to
the fact of their being fed on meal before hunting,
which of course he considered was done to save
flesh, and thereupon Mr. Jorrocks is voted an
uncommon great screw. Meanwhile our master,
unconscious of the verdict, goes on at a very
easy pace, feeling that a hot sun and a red coat
are incompatible.

Sywell Plantations are blank, Layton Spinney
ditto ; then they take a three-miles' saunter to
Simonswood, where they find a hare, and at two
o'clock Mr. Jorrocks announces that he will draw
Warrington Banks, which is the last cover in his
draw, and then give in. Some sportsmen go home,
others go on, among the number Captain Shortflat,
who meditates an article in BeWs Life on ' Slack-
ness in general, and Handley Cross slackness in
particular.'

211

HUNTS WITH JOEROCKS

The sun is very powerful, and Mr. Jorrocks
gives his hounds a lap at a stream before put-
ting them into cover. Warrington Banks are
irregularly fringed with copsewood, intermixed
with broom and blackthorn: lying warm to the
sun, the grass grows early, and old Priestess and
Rummager feather across a glade almost im-
mediately on entering. Presently there is a
challenge — another — then a third, and a chorus
swells. Mr. Jorrocks listens with delight, for
though a kill is hopeless, still a find is fine —
Captain Shortflat turns pale.

The hounds work on, bristling into the thick
of the cover. Now they push through an almost
impenetrable thicket, and cross a ride beyond.
The chorus increases, but the hounds move not.
' Who-hoop ! it's a kill'

Now Pigg jumps off his horse, and leaving
him to chance, bounds overhead among the
underwood. His cap-top is just visible as he
scrambles about in search of the place. ' To the
right ! ' exclaims Mr. Jorrocks, seeing him blindly

212

THE WANING SEASON

pushing the wrong way — 'make for the big hash
atop of the crag and you '11 have 'em.'

On Pigg goes, swimming as it were, through
the lofty gorse and brushwood, and his well-
known who-hoop ! sounds from the bottom of
the crag.

' Bravo ! ' exclaims Mr. Jorrocks, chucking his
hat in the air. (He 'could not afford to kick out
the crown.)

' Delightful ! ' lisps Captain Shortflat, wringing
Mr. Jorrocks's hand.

'A glorious finish!' rejoined Mr. Jorrocks,
pocketing his wig.

* Charming, indeed!' exclaims Captain Short-
flat, resolving to call it twenty minutes.

* Catch Pigg's horse ! ' cries Mr. Jorrocks to
a boy, the animal having taken advantage of the
commotion to make his way to the well.

After a longish pause, during which there
appeared to be a considerable scuffle going on,
Pigg's voice is at length heard calling his hounds
out of cover; and as his head pops above the

213

HUNTS WITH JORROCKS

bushes, Mr. Jorrocks exclaims, ' Is 't a dog,
Pigg?'

'Yeas/ replies James, — ' a banger tee.'

' Capital, indeed ! ' lisps Captain Shortflat ; * I '11
take a pad, if you please.'

* There arn 't none ! ' exclaims James Pigg,
appearing with his purple-tailed coat torn in
three places, and several of the hounds bleeding
about the mouth. 'Hounds were sae desp'rate
savish, thought they'd eat me'; adding, with a
wink, in an undertone to his master, 'It's nobbut
a hedgehog, and ar 's gettiri him £ my pocket ! '

Captain Shortflat, however, is so delighted
with the kill and with his own keenness in
having stayed, that he forthwith lugs out five
shillings for James Pigg, declaring it was per-
fectly marvellous that hounds should be able to
run on such a day — let alone kill ; that he
never saw a pack behave better in his life —
' Uncommon keen, to be sure ! ' repeated he ;
'declare the tips of their tails are red with
blood.'

214

THE WANING SEASON

The last day closes — Mr. Jorrocks lingers on
the ride, eyeing his hounds coming to the horn,
till at last all are there, and he has no other
excuse for staying; with a pensive air he then
turns his horse's head for Handley Cross.

THE END

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at the Edinburgh University Press

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