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MEMOIRS
OF
MRS. H. NEWELL,
WIFE OF THE REV. S. NEWELL,
AMERICAN MISSIONARY TO INDIA.
WITH AX APPENDIX.
LONDON;
PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY J, F.DOVE..
st. John's square.
.
ADVERTISEMENT
AMERICAN EDITION.
The following Memoirs of Mrs. Newell, are derived almost entirely from her own writings. Nothing has been added but what seemed abso- lutely necessary to give the reader a general view of her character, and to explain some particular occurrences in which she was concerned. These Memoirs contain only a part of her letters and journal ; the whole would have made a large vo- lume. The labour of the compiler has been to select, and occasionally, especially in her earlier writings, to abridge. The letters and journal of this unambitious, delicate female, would have been kept within the circle of her particular friends, had not the closing scenes of her life, and the Missionary zeal which has recently been kindled in this country, excited in the public mind a lively interest in her character, and given the Christian
:>5
community a kind of property in the productions of her pen. It was thought best to arrange her writings according to the order of time ; so that, in a connected series of letters, and extracts from her diary, the reader might be under advantages to observe the progress of her mind, the developc- ment of her moral worth, and some of the most important events of her life.
MEMOIRS
OF
MRS. HARRIET NEWELL.
HPHE subject of these Memoirs was a daughter of Mr. Moses ATWOOD, a merchant of Haverhill, Massachusetts, and was born October 10, 1793. She was naturally cheerful and unreserved j possessed a lively imagination and great sensibility ; and early discovered a retentive memory and a taste for read- ing. Long will she be remembered as a dutiful child and an affectionate sister.
She manifested no peculiar and lasting serious- ness before the year 1806, In the summer of that year, while at the Academy in Bradford, a place highly favoured of the Lord, she first became the subject of those deep religious impressions, which laid the foundation of her Christian life. With several of her companions in study, she was roused to attend to the one thing needful. They turned off their eyes from beholding vanity, and employed their leisure in searching the Scriptures, and listen- ing to the instructions of those who were able to direct them in the way of life. A few extracts from letters, which she wrote to Miss L. K.,of Bradford, will in some measure shew the state of her mind at that time.
1806.
' DEAR L.,I need your kind instructions now as much as ever. I should be willing to leave every thing for God ; willing to be called by any name which tongue can utter, and to undergo any suffer- ings, if it would but make me humble, and be for
6 MEMOIRS OF
his glory. Do advise me what I shall do for his glory. I care not for myself. Though he lay ever so much upon me, I would be content. Oh, could I but recall this summer! — But it is past, never to return. I have one constant companion, the Bible, from which I derive the greatest comfort. This I intend for the future shall guide me.
* Did you ever read Doddridge's Sermons
to Young People ? They are very beautiful sermons . It appears strange to me, why I am not more inte- rested in the cause of Christ, when he has done so much for us! But I will form a resolution that I will give myself up entirely to him. Pray for me that my heart may be changed. I long for the happy hour when we shall be free from all sin, and enjoy God in heaven. But if it would be for his glory, I should be willing to live my threescore years and ten. My heart bleeds for our companions, who are on the brink of destruction. In what manner shall I speak to them? But perhaps I am in the same way.'
In another letter to the same friend she says, — 'What did Paul and Silas say to the jailer? " Be- lieve in the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved." Let us do the same. Let us improve the accepted time, and make our peace with God. This day, my L., I have formed a resolution, that I will devote the remainder of my life entirely to the ser- vice of my God. Write to me. Tell me my nume- rous outward faults ; though you know not the faults of my heart, yet tell me all you know, that I may improve. I shall receive it as a token of love/
The following summary Account of her Religious
Exercises was found among her private papers.
DIARY.
A REVIEW of past religious experience I have
often found useful and encouraging. On this
account I have written down the exercises of my
MRS. NEWELL. 7
mind, hoping that, by frequently reading them, I may be led to adore the riches of sovereign grace, praise the Lord for his former kindness tome, and feel encouraged to persevere in a holy life.
' The first ten years of my life were spent in va- nity. I was entirely ignorant of the depravity of my heart. The summer tha; I entered my eleventh year, 1 attended a dancing school. My conscience would sometimes tell me, that my time was fool- ishly spent; and though I had never heard it inti- mated that such amusements were criminal, yet I could not rest, until I had solemnly determined that when the school closed, I would immediately become religious. But these resolutions were not carried into effect. Although I attended every day to secret prayer, and read the Bible with greater attention than before ; yet I soon became weary of these exercises, and, by degrees, omitted entirely the duties of the closet. When I entered my thir- teenth year, I was sent by my parents to the Aca- demy at Bradford. A revival of religion com- menced in the neighbourhood, which, in a short time, spread into the school. A large number of the young ladies were anxiously inquiring, what they should do to inherit eternal life. I began to inquire, what can these things mean? My attention was solemnly called to the concerns of my immortal soul. I was a stranger to hope ; and I feared the ridicule of my gay companions. My heart was op- posed to the character of God ; and I felt that, if I continued an enemy to his government, I must eter- nally perish. My convictions of sin were not so pungent and distressing, as many have had ; but they were of long continuance. It was more than three months, before I was brought to cast my soul on the Saviour of sinners, and rely on him alone for salvation. The ecstacies, which many new-born souls possess, were not mine. But if I was not lost in raptures on reflecting upon what I had escaped; I was filled with a sweet peace, a heavenly calm-
8 MEMOIRS OF
ness, which I never can describe. The honours, applauses, and titles of this vain world, appeared like trifles light as air. The character of Jesus ap- peared infinitely lovely, and I could say, with the Psalmist, " Whom have I in heaven but thee ? and there is none on earth I desire besides thee/' The awful gulf I had escaped, filled me with astonish- ment. My gay associates were renounced, and the friends of Jesus became my dear friends. The des- titute, broken state of the church atHaverhill, pie- vented me from openly professing my faith in Jesus ; but it was a privilege which I longed to enjoy. But, alas ! these seasons so precious did not long con- tinue. Soon was I led to exclaim, Oh ! that I were as in months past! My zeal for the cause of religion almost entirely abated; while this vain world en- grossed my affections, which had been consecrated to my Redeemer. My Bible, once so lovely, was entirely neglected. Novels and romances engaged my thoughts, and hour after hour was foolishly and sinfully spent in the perusal of them. The com- pany of Christians became, by degrees, irksome and unpleasant. I endeavoured to shun them. The voice of conscience would frequently whisper, '« all is not right." Many a sleepless night have I passed after a day of vanity and sin. But such conflicts did not bring me home to the fold, from which, like a strayed lamb, I had wandered far away. A reli- gion, which was intimately connected with the amusements of the world, and the friendship of those who are at enmity with God, would have suited well my depraved heart. But I knew that the religion of the gospel was vastly different. It exalts the Creator, while it humbles the creature in the dust.
• Such was my awful situation ! I lived only to wound the cause of my ever-blessed Saviour. Weep, O my soul ! when contemplating and recording these sins of my youth. Be astonished at the lon*- suffering of Jehovah ! How great a God is our God !
MRS. NEWELL. 9
The death of a beloved parent and uncle, had but little effect on my hard heart. Though these afflic- tions moved my passions, they did not lead me to the Fountain of consolation. But God, who is rich in mercy, did not leave me here. He had prepared my heart to receive his grace; and he glorified the riches of his mercy, by carrying on the work. I was providentially invited to visit a friend in New- buryport. I complied with the invitation. The evening previous to my return home, I heard the Rev. Mr. Mac F. It was the 28th of June, 1809. How did the truths, which he delivered, sink deep into my inmost soul ! My past transgressions rose like great mountains before me. The most poig- nant anguish seized my mind ; my carnal security fled ; and I felt myself a guilty transgressor, naked before a holy God. Mr. B. returned with me the next day to Haverhill. Never, no never, while memory retains her seat in my breast, shall I forget the affectionate manner in which he addressed me. His conversation had the desired effect. I then made the solemn resolution, as I trust, in the strength of Jesus, that I would make a sincere de- dication of my all to my Creator, both for time and eternity. This resolution produced a calm serenity and composure, to which I had long been a stranger. How lovely the way of salvation then appeared : — Oh, how lovely was the character of the Saviour! The duty of professing publicly on which side I was, now was impressed on my mind. I came forward, and offered myself to the church, was accepted, re- ceived into communion, and commemorated, for the first time, the dying love of the blessed Jesus, August 6th, 1809. This was a precious season, long to be remembered ! Oh, the depths of sovereign grace ! Eternity will be too short to celebrate the perfections of God.
Harriet Atwood.'
August 27/A, 1809.
10 MEMOIRS OF
1806.
Sept. 1. A LARGE number of my companions of both sexes, with whom I have associated this sum- mer, are in deep distress for their immortal souls. Many, who were formerly gay and thoughtless, are now in tears, anxiously inquiring, what they shall do to be saved. Oh, how rich is the mercy of Je- sus ! He dispenses his favours to whom he pleases, without regard to age or sex. Surely it is a won- derful display of the sovereignty of God, to make me a subject of his kingdom, while many of my companions, far more amiable than I am, are left to grovel in the dust, or to mourn their wretched condition, without one gleam of hope.
Sept. 4. I have just parted with my companions, with whom I have spent three months at the aca- demy. I have felt a strong attachment to many of them, particularly to those who have been hope- fully renewed the summer past. But the idea of meeting them in heaven, never more to bid them farewell, silenced every painful thought.
Sept. 10. Been indulged with the privilege of visiting a Christian friend this afternoon. Sweet, indeed, to my heart, is the society of the friends of Immanuel. I never knew true joy until I found it in the exercise of religion.
Sept. 18. How great are the changes which take place in my mind in the course of one short day ! I have felt deeply distressed for the depravity of my heart, and have been ready to despair of the mercy of God; but the light of divine truth has this evening irradiated my soul, and I have enjoyed such composure as I never knew before.
Sept. 20. This has been a happy day tome. When conversing with a Christian friend upon the love of Jesus, I was lost in raptures. My soul rejoiced in the Lord, and joyed in the God of my salvation. A sermon preached by Mr. M. this evening has in- creased my happiness. This is too much for me,
MRS. NEWELL. 11
a sinful worm of the dust, deserving only eternal punishment. Lord, it is enough !
Oct. 6. The day on which Christ arose from the dead has again returned. How shall I spend it? Oh, how the recollection of mispent Sabbaths, em- bitters every present enjoyment. With pain do 1 remember the holy hours which were sinned away. Frequently did I repair to novels, to shorten the irk- some hours as they passed. Why was I not cut off in the midst of this my wickedness?
Oct. 10. Oh, how much have I enjoyed of God this day! Such views of his holy cbaracter, such a desire to glorify his holy name, I never before ex- perienced. Oh, that this frame might continue through life.
Mv willing soul would stay
fn such a frame as this, And sit and sins herself away,
To everlasting bliss.
This is my birth-day. Thirteen years of my short life have gone for ever.
Oct. 25. Permitted by my heavenly Father once more to hear the gospel's joyful sound. I have enjoyed greater happiness than tongue can de- scribe. I have indeed been joyful in the house of prayer. Lord, let me dwell in thy presence for ever.
Nov. 2. How wonderful is the superabounding grace of God ! Called at an early age to reflect upon my lost condition, and to accept of the terms of salvation, how great are my obligations to live a holy life.
]\ov. 4. Examination at the academy. The young ladies to be separated, perhaps for life. Oh, how affecting the scene! I have bid my companions farewell. Though they are endeared to me by the strongest ties of affection, yet I must be separated from them, perhaps never to meet them more, till the resurrection. The season has been remarkable for religious impressions. But the harvest is past,
12 MEMOIRS OF
the summer is ended, and there are numbers who
can say, 'We are not saved/
Nov. 25. A dtar Christian sister called on me this afternoon. Her pious conversation produced a solemn but pleasing effect upon my mind. Shall I ever be so unspeakably happy as to enjoy the society of holy beings in heaven i
Oh, to grace how great a debtor !
Dec. 3. I have had great discoveries of the wick- edness of my heart these three days past. But this evening, God has graciously revealed himself to me in the beauty and glory of his character. The Saviour provided for fallen man, is just such a one as I need. He is the one altogether lovely.
Dec. 7. With joy we welcome the morning of an- other sabbath. Oh, let this holy day be conse- crated entirely to God. My sabbaths on earth will soon be ended; but I look forward M'ith joy unut- terable to that holy day, which will never have an end.
Dec. 8. This evening has been very pleasantly spent with my companions, H. and S. B. The at- tachment which commenced as it were in infancy, has been greatly strengthened since their minds have been religiously impressed. How differently are our evenings spent now, from what they for- merly were ! How many evenings have I spent with them in thoughtless vanity and giddy mirth! We have been united in the service of Satan; Oh, that we might now be united in the service of God !
Dec. 11. This morning has been devoted to the work of self-examination. Though I find within me an evil heart of unbelief, prone to depart from the living God, yet I have a hope, a strong, un- wavering hope, which 1 would not renounce for worlds. Bless the Lord, Oh my soul, for this blessed assurance of eternal life.
Dec. 15. Grace, free grace is still my song. I am lost in wonder and admiration when I reflect
MRS. NEWELL. 13
upon the dealings of God with me. When I meet with my associates, who are involved in nature's darkness, I am constrained to cry, with the poet,
Why was I made to hear thy voice,
And enter while there's room, While thousands make a wretched choice,
And rather starve than come ?
Dec. 31. This day has passed away rapidly and happily. Oh, the real bliss that I have enjoyed; such love to God, such a desire to glorify him, I never possessed before. The hour of sweet release will shortly come : Oh, what joyful tidings !
1807.
Jan. 3. A SWEET and abiding sense of divine things still reigns within. Bad health prevented my attending public worship this day. I have en- joyed an unspeakable calmness of mind, and a heart burning with love to my exalted Saviour. Oh, how shall 1 find words to express the grateful feelings of my heart ? Oh, for an angel's tongue to praise and exalt my Jesus !
Jan. 5. I have had exalted thoughts of the cha- racter of God this day. I have ardently longed to depart and be with Jesus.
Jan. 9. How large a share of peace and joy has been mine this evening. The society of Christians delights and animates my heart. Oh, how I love those who love my Redeemer!
March 21. Humility has been the subject of my meditations this day. I find I have been greatly deficient in this Christian grace. Oh, for that meek and lowly spirit which Jesus exhibited in the days of his flesh.
March 25. Little E.'s birth-day. Reading of those children who cried Hosanna to the Son of David, when he dwelt oneafth, I ardently wished that this dear child might be sanctified. She is not too young to be made a subject of Immanuel's kingdom.
14 MEMOIRS OF
May 1. Where is the cross which Christians speak of so frequently ? All that I do for Jesus is pleasant. Though, perhaps, I am ridiculed by the gay and thoughtless for my choice of religion, yet the inward comfort which 1 enjoy, doubly compen- sates me for all this. I do not wish for the appro- bation and love of the world, neither for its splen- dour or riches. For one blest hour at God's right- hand, I'll give them all away.
EXTRACTS FROM A LETTER TO HER SISTER M., AT BYFIELD.
Haverhill, August 26, 1807.
IN what an important station are you placed !
The pupils committed to your care will be either adding to your condemnation in the eternal world, or increasing your everlasting happiness. At the awful tribunal of your Judge you will meet them, and there give an account of the manner in which you have instructed them. Have you given them that advice which they greatly need ? Have you instructed them in religion? Oh, my sister! how earnest, how engaged ought you to be, for their immortal welfare! Recollect, the hour is drawing near, when you, and the young ladies committed to your care, must appear before God. If you have invited them to come to the Saviour, and make their peace with him, how happy will you then be ! But, on the other hand, if you have been negligent, awful will be your situation. May the God of peace be with you ! May we meet on the right-hand of God, and spend an eternity in rejoicing in his favours! HARRIET ATWOOD.
When Harriet Atwood was a member of Brad- ford Academy, it was customary for her compa- nions in study, whose minds were turned to religious subjects, to maintain a familiar correspondence with each other. A few specimens of the letters or
MRS. NEWELL. 15
billets, which Harriet wrote to one of her particular friends at that time, will shew the nature of the correspondence.
TO MISS F. W., OF BRADFORD ACADEMY.
Bradford Academy, Sept. 1807. As we are candidates for eternity, how careful ought we to be that religion be our principal con- cern ! Perhaps this night our souls maybe required of us — we may end our existence here, and enter the eternal world. Are we prepared to meet our Judge ? Do we depend upon Christ's righteousness for acceptance ? Are we convinced of our own sinfulness and inability to help ourselves? Is Christ's love esteemed more by us, than the friend- ship of this world ? Do we feel willing to take up our cross daily and follow Jesus? These questions, my dear Miss W.,are important ; and if we can an- swer them in the affirmative, we are prepared for God to require our souls of us when he pleases.
May the Spirit guide you, and an interest in the Saviour be given you ! Adieu. Harriet.
Wednesday afternoon, 3 o'clock.
TO THE SAME.
Bradford Academy, Sept. 11, 1807. As heirs of immortality, one would naturally imagine we should strive to enter in at the strait gate, and use all our endeavours to be heirs of future happiness; but, alas! how infinitely short do we fall of the duty we owe to God, and to our own souls ! O, my friend, could you look into my heart, what could you there find but a sinful stupidity, and rebellion against God. But yet I dare to hope ! O, how surprising, how astonishing is the redemp- tion which Christ has procured, whereby sinners may be reconciled to him, and through his merits dare to hope ! O, may his death animate us to a holy obedience ! H. A.
16 MEMOIRS OF
TO THE SAME.
Bradford Academy, Sept. 1507. HOW solemn, my dear Miss W., is the idea that we must soon part ! Solemn as it is, yet what is it, when compared with parting at the bar of God, and being separated through all eternity ! Religion is worth our attention, and every moment of our lives ought to be devoted to its concerns. Time is short, but eternity is long ; and when we have once plunged into that fathomless abyss, our situa- tion will never be altered. If we have served God here, and prepared for death, glorious will be our reward hereafter. But if we have not, and have hardened our hearts against the Lord, our day of grace will be past, and our souls irrecoverably lost. Oh, then, let us press forward, and seek and serve the Lord here, that we may enjoy him hereafter. Favour me with frequent visits while we are to- gether, and when we part, let epistolary visits be constant. Adieu. Yours, &c. Harriet.
A VERY frequent and affectionate correspondence was continued between Harriet Atwood and the same friend, after that young lady left the Academy and returned to Beverly, her place of residence.
TO THE SAME.
Haverhill, Oct. 12, 1-07. ONCE more, my dear Miss W.,I takemy pen and attempt writing a few lines to yoi. Shall religion be my theme ? What other subject can I choose, that will be of any importance to our immortal souls ? How little do we realize that we are proba- tioners for eternity! We have entered upon an existence that will never end : and in the future world shall either enjoy happiness unspeakably great, or suffer misery in the extreme, to all eternity.
MRS. NEWELL. 17
We have every inducement to awake from the sleep of death, and to engage in the cause of Christ. In this time of awful declension, God calls loudly to enlist under his banners, and promote his glory in a sinful, stupid world. If we are brought from a state of darkness into God's marvellous light, and are turned from Satan to the Redeemer, how thank- ful ought we to be. Thousands of our age are at this present period going on in thoughtless security; and why are we not left? It is of God's infinite mercy, and free, unbounded grace. Can we not with our whole hearts bow before the King of kings, and say, * Not unto us, not unto us, but to thy name be all the glory ?' Oh, my dear Miss W., why are our affections placed one moment upon this world, when the great things of religion are of such vast importance ? Oh, that God would rend his heavens and come down, and awaken our stupid, drowsy senses. What great reason have I to complain of my awfully stubborn will, and mourn my unworthy treatment of the Son of God ! Thou alone, dear Jesus, can soften the heart of stone, and bow the will to thy holy sceptre. Display thy power in our hearts, and make us fit subjects for thy kingdom above.
How happy did I feel when I read your affec- tionate epistle! and that happiness was doubly in- creased, when you observed that you should, on the sabbath succeeding, be engaged in the solemn transaction of giving yourself to God publicly in an everlasting covenant. My sincere desire and ear- nest prayer at the throne of grace shall ever be, that you may adorn the profession which you have made, and become an advocate for the religion of Jesus.
Let us obey the solemn admonitions we daily receive, and prepare to meet our God. May the glorious and blessed Redeemer, who can reconcile rebellious mortals to himself, make us both holy, that we may be happy. Write soon and often. I am yours affectionately, HARRIET Atwood.
B
\i\ MEMOIRS OF
TO THE SAME.
Haverhill, Dec. 2, 1807. MOST sincerely do I thank you, my dear Miss W., for your kind and affectionate epistle, which you last favoured me with. Are religion and the con- cerns of futurity still the object of your attention ? New scenes daily open to us, and there is the great- est reason to fear that some of us will fail short at last of an interest in Jesus Christ. A few more rising and setting suns, and we shall be called to give an account to our final Judge, of the manner in which we have improved our probationary state ; then, then, the religion which we profess, — will it stand the test? Oh, let us, with the greatest care, examine ourselves, and see if our religion will cover us from the storms of Divine wrath ; whether our chief desire is to glorify God, to honour his cause, and to become entirely devoted to him. What a word is ETERNITY/ ! Let us reflect upon it ; al- though we cannot penetrate into its unsearchable depths ; yet, perhaps, it may have an impressive weight upon our minds, and lead us to a constant preparation for that hour, when wc shall enter the confines of that state, and be eitherhappy or miser- able through an endless duration.
Last evening I attended a conference at Mr. H.'s. Mr. B. addressed us from these words, ' I pray thee, have me excused/ His design was to shew what excuses the unconverted person will make f< r not attending to the calls of religion. It was the most solemn conference I ever heard. Oh! my friend, of what infinite importance is it, that we be faithful in the cause of our Master, and use all our endea- vours to glorify him, the short space of time we have to live on earth! Oh! may we so live, that when we are called to enter the eternal world, we may with satisfaction give up our accounts, and go where we can behold the King in his glory. W B
MRS. NEWELL. 19
have every thing to engage us in the concerns of our immortal souls. If we will but accept of Christ Jesus as he is freely offered to us in the gospel, committing ourselves unreservedly into his hands, all will be ours; life and death, things present and things to come. We should desire to be holy as God is holy. And in some degree we must be holy, even as he is, or we never can enter that holy habi- tation where Jesus dwells.
Oh ! my dear Miss W., I cannot but hope that you are now engaged for Christ, and are determined not to let this world any longer engross your atten- tion. Be constant in prayer. Pray that your friend Harriet may no longer be so stupid and inattentive to the great concerns of religion. Pray that she maybe ai-oused from this lethargic state, and attend to Christ's call. With reluctance I bid you adieu, my dear Miss W. Do favour me with along epistle ; tell me your feelings ; how you view the character of God in the atonement for sinners. May we have a part in that purchase ! Remember your friend,
Harriet.
TO MISS F. W., OF BEVERLY.
Haverhill, Feb. 13, 1808. ACCEPT, my dear Miss W., my sincere thanks for your last epistle. Your ideas of the necessity of religion in the last extremity of expiring nature, perfectly coincide with mine. Yes, although we may reject the Saviour, and become engaged in the concerns of this vain and wicked world ; although, while in youth and health, we may live as though this world were our home ; yet when the hour of dissolution shall draw near, when eternity shall be unfolded to our view, what, at that trying moment, will be our consolation, but an assurance of par- doned guilt, and an interest in the merits of Christ the Redeemer ? We are now probationers for a never-ending state of existence, and are forming
20 MEMOIRS OF
characters, upon which our future happiness or misery depends. Oh, if we could only have a sense of these all-important considerations ! — How crimi- nally stupid are we, when we know that these are eternal realities ! Why are we not alive to God and our duty, and dead to sin? This world is a state of trial, a vale of tears ; it is not our home- But an eternity of happiness or woe hangs on this inch of time. Soon will our state be unalterably fixed. Oh, let this solemn consideration have its proper weight on our minds, and let us now be wise for eternity.
How little are we engaged to promote the interest of religion ! At this day, when the love of many waxeth cold, and iniquity increaseth, how ought every faculty of our souls to be alive to God !
Do write often, and perhaps the blessing of an all-wise God may attend your epistles. In your ear- nest supplications at the throne of Almighty grace, remember your affectionate, though unworthy friend, ^HARRIET.
P. S. I long to see you, and unfold to you the inmost recesses of my heart. Do make it conve- nient to visit H. this spring, and although it may be unpleasing to you to hear the wickedness of your friend Harriet's heart, yet perhaps you, my dear Miss W., can say something which will now make me resolve in earnest, that let others serve whom they will, I will serve the Lord.
TO THE SAME.
Haverhill, April 20, 1808. THIS morning, my beloved Miss W., your kind epistle was handed me, in which you express a wish, that it might find me engaged in the cause of God. Oh, that your wish could be gratified ! But let me tell you, I am still the same careless, inattentive creature. — What in this world can we find capable of satisfying the desires of our immortal souls?
MRS. NEWELL. 21
Not one of the endowments, which are derived from any thing short of God, will avail us in the solemn and important hour of death. All the vanities, which the world terms accomplishments, will then appear of little value. Yes, my beloved companion, in that moment we shall rind that nothing will suf- fice to hide the real nakedness of the natural mind, but the furnished robe, in which the child of God shines with purest lustre — the Saviour's righteous- ness. Oh, that we might, by the assistance of God, deck our souls with the all-perfect rule ! Our souls are of infinite importance ; and an eternity of mi- sery, * where the worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched,' awaits us, if we do not attend to their concerns. I should be happy, my amiable friend, in visiting you this spring ; but with reluctance I must decline your generous offer. A dear and be- loved parent is in a declining state of health ; and we fear, if indulgent Heaven do not interpose, and stop the course of his sickness, death will deprive us of his society, and the grave open to receive him. Oh, that his life might be spared, and his health once more established, to cheer his family and friends! But in all these afflictive dispensations of God's providence, may it ever be my prayer, * not my will, O Lord ! but thine be done.'
I do not expect to attend Bradford Academy this summer. We shall have a school in Haverhill, which, with my parent's consent, I expect to attend. Do visit me this spring, my dear Miss W.; your letters are always received with pleasure. My best wishes for your present and eternal happiness attend you. I am yours, &c.
Harriet.
TO MISS C. P., OF XEWBURYPORT. DEAR C, Haverhill, Feb. 16, 1S0S.
Since you left us, death has entered our family, and deprived us of an affectionate uncle. After
22 MEMOIRS OF
lingering two days after you retured to your friends, he fell asleep, as we trust, in Jesus.
Oh, C, could you but have witnessed his dying struggles ! Distress and anguish were his constant companions, till about ten minutes before his spirit winged its way to the eternal world j then he was deprived of speech ; he looked upon us, closed his eyes, and expired ! He would often say, ' Oh, how I long for the happy hour's approach, when I shall find a sweet release ; but "not my will, but thine, O God, be done I" ' When we stood weeping around his dying bed, he looked upon us and said, ' Mourn not for me, my friends, but mourn for yourselves.' Oh, my C, let us now be persuaded to lay hold on Jesus, as the only Saviour. If we trust in him for protection, he will preserve us in all the trying scenes of life, and when the hour of dissolution shall come, we shall be enabled to give ourselves to him, and consign our bodies to the tomb with pleasure.
What a world is this, full of anxiety and trouble ! My dear father is very feeble ; a bad cough attends him, which we fear will prove fatal. What a bless- ing, my friend, are parents ! Let us attend to their instructions and reproofs, while we possess them, that when death shall separate us, we may have no cause for regret that we were undutiful. While we do every thing we can to make them happy, let us remember, that it is God alone can compensate them for their labours of love. Far distant be the hour when either of us shall be called to mourn the loss of our dear parents.
Do, my dear C, write to me ; tell me if this world does not appear more and more trifling to you. May the sweet influences of the Holy Spirit be shed abroad in your heart ! Oh, may happiness attend you in this vale of tears, and may you be conducted to the haven of eternal rest. Accept the wish of your ever affectionate
Harriet.
MRS. NEWELL. '23
TO MISS C. P., OF NEWBTRYPORT.
Haverhill, April 24, 1808. Accept, my dear C, my kindest acknowledge- ments for your last affectionate epistle ; in the pe- rusal of which, I had the most pleasing sensations. You observed, your contemplations had frequently dwelt on those hours we spent in each other's so- ciety, while at Bradford Academy ; and that you regretted the mis-improvement of them. Alas ! how many hours have we spent in trifling conver- sation, which will avail us nothing ! Let our ima- ginations often wing their way back to those hours, which can never be recalled.
'Tis greatly wise, to talk with our past hours,
And ask them what report they've borne to heaven,
And how they might have borne more welcome news.
Will the recollection of the moments that are now speeding their flight, afford satisfaction at the last ? Oh, that we might improve our time and ta- lents to the glory of God, that the review of them may be pleasing!
You ask me to write to you, and to write some- thing that will awaken you from stupidity. I would, my dear C, but I am still in the same careless state.
My father still remains in a critical situation. Permit me to request an interest in your prayers for him ; but be assured, there is none they will be more serviceable to, than your dear friend,
Harriet.
to miss f. \v., of beverly.
After the death of her Father.
Haverhill, May 24, 1808.
In the late trying and afflictive scenes of God's
providence, which I have been called to pass
through, I have flattered myself, that the tender-
est sympathy has been awakened in the heart of my
24 MEMOIRS OF
beloved F. Oh, my companion, this is a scene peculiarly trying to me. How much do my circum- stances require every divine consolation and direc- tion, to make this death a salutary warning to me ! The guardian of my tender years, he who, under God, has been made an instrument in giving me existence, my father, my nearest earthly friend, — where is he? The cold clods of the valley cover him, and the worms feed upon his cold and lifeless body. Can it be that I am left fatherless ? Heart rending reflection! Oh, my dear, dear Miss W., may you never be left to mourn the loss which I now experience! Oh, that your parents may be spared to you, and you ever honour them, and be a blessing to them, even in their declining years !
Glance a thought on nine fatherless children, and a widowed and afflicted mother. But if we are fatherless, Oh, may we never be friendless! May He who has promised to be the father of the father- less, and the widow's God, enable us to rely upon him, and receive grace to help in this time of need ; and although the present affliction is not joyous, but grievous, Oh, that it may be instrumental in working out afar more exceeding and eternal weight of glory !
Do come and see me. I long once more to em- brace my friend, and to tell her what 1 owe her for all her favours. Adieu, my beljved Miss W.j re- ceive this as a token of renewed affection from your
Harriet.
Respects to your parents, and love to sister N.
From some passages in the foregoing papers, and also from what follows, it appears, that durinc the year 180S, she was in a state of religious declen- sion and darkness. According to the statement of one who was competent to testify — ' She appeared gradually to lose her fondness for retirement, and her delight in the Scriptures, and associated more freely with her gay companions. But nothing was
MRS. NEWELL, 25
manifested, which afforded any just ground for sus- pecting her sincerity.' What views she entertained of that state of declension, and by what means she was recovered to duty and comfort, will appear from some of the following letters, and from her diary.
TO MISS C. P., OF NEWBURYPORT. MY DEAR C, Haverhill, Feb. 27, 18C9.
What have you been reading this winter? I pre- sume you have had sufficient time to improve your mind in the study of history, &c. For my part, I know not what to say. A constant round of worldly engagements and occupations have, I fear, en- grossed far too much of my time.
I have of late been quite interested in reading Miss Helen Maria Williams's Letters on the French Revolution, and am now reading Rollin's Ancient History. In the morning of life, when no perplex- ing cares interrupt or vex our minds, we should spend every moment of our time in improving our minds by reading, or attending to conversation that is beneficial. Our time is short! Perhaps we may be cut off in the morning of our days. Oh, that we might improve each moment of our lives, ' and make each day a critic on the last.' Adieu.
I am, &c. Harriet.
1809
July 1. GOD has been pleased in his infinite mercy again to call up my attention to eternal reali- ties. After spending more than a year in the vani- ties of the world — thoughtless and unconcerned respecting my eternal welfare, he has, as I humbly trust, shewed me my awful backslidings from him, and my dependence upon his grace for every bless- ing.
I do now, in the strength of Jesus, resolve, hat I will no longer sacrifice my immortal soul, for what
26 MEMOIRS OF
I have hitherto deemed my temporal happiness. Oh, that I might be enabled to come out from the ■world, and to profess Christ as my Redeemer be- fore multitudes. I now see, that I have enjoyed no happiness in my pursuit of worldly pleasure. Not in the play-room, not in the vain and idle conver- sation of my companions, not in the bustle of crowded life, have I found happiness. This heaven- born guest is found only in the bosom of the child of Jesus. How awfully aggravated will be my con- demnation, if I do not, after this second call, awaken all my drowsy faculties, and become earnestly en- gaged for God !
July 10. How foolishly, how wickedly have I spent this day ! What have I done for God ? No- thing, I fear. Oh, how many mispent days shall I have to answer for, at the tribunal of a holy Judge ! Then how does it become me to set a watch upon my behaviour, as one that must shortly give an ac- count to God! Oh, thou blessed Jesus! grant thy assistance, that I may live as I ought.
July 16. Sabbath morn. Solemnly impressed with a sense of my duty to God, I entered his holy courts this morning. What am I, that I should be blessed with the gospel's joyful sound, while so many are now perishing in heathen darkness for lack of the knowledge of Christ?
Sabbath eve. I have now offered myself to the Church of God, and have been assisted by him. Perhaps they will not receive me ; but, O God ! wilt thou accept me through a Mediator?
I have now let my companions see, I am not ashamed of Jesus. Oh, that I might not dishonour the cause I am about professing ! In Christ alone will I put my trust, and rely entirely on kis righ- teousness for the pardon of my aggravated trans- gressions.
July 17. Have spent the day at home. I think I have enjoyed some thing of God's presence. Felt adisposition frequently to call upon him by prayer and supplication.
MRS. NEWELL. 27
July 18. At this late hour, when no one beholdeth me but God, how solemnly, how sincerely ought I to be engaged for him !
The family are retired to rest. The darkness and silence of the night, and the reflection, that the night of death will soon overtake me, conspire to solemnize my mind. What have I done this day for God ? Have I lived as a stranger and pilgrim on the earth ; as one that must soon leave this world, and ' go the way from whence no traveller returns V
Oh, that I were more engaged for God — more engaged to promote his cause, in the midst of a perverse generation !
July 20. This evening, I had a most solemn meeting with one of my dear and most intimate companions. I warned her in the most expressive language of my heart to repent. She appeared af- fected. I left her; and after returning home, I trust I was enabled to commend her to the God of infinite mercy, and to wrestle with him for her con- viction and conversion.
July 22. Was informed that appeared
serious and unusually affected. Oh, that God might work a work of grace in his heart, and enable him to resign all earthly vanities, for an interest in the great Redeemer ! He has talents, which, if abused, will only add to his everlasting condemnation. Oh, thou God of infinite mercy, thou who hast had pity on me shew him mercy, and awaken him to a sense of his situation, before the things that concern his peace are hid for ever from his eyes I
July 30. Sabbath-day. Arose this morning, but little impressed with a sense of the duties before me upon this holy day. My health obliged me to decline going to the house of God in the morning. But I think I could say, it was good for me to be afflicted. God was graciously pleased to assist me in calling upon his name, and permitted me to wrestle with him in prayer for the prosperity of
28 MEMOIRS OF
Zion, and for the conversion of sinners. I felt a desire that every one of my friends might be brought to a knowledge of the truth. This after- noon I have attended meeting, and heard a most excellent sermon preached by Mr. W., from Matt, xxvi. 6 — 13. He passed the sabbath with us, and gave us excellent instructions. But of what use are. advice and religious conversation to me, if I do not improve them as I ought ? These instructions will rise up in judgment against me, and condemn me, if I am not, indeed, a child of God. Oh, for a heart to love God more, and live more to his glory ! How can I hope to enter that heavenly rest, prepared for the people of Jesus, when I so often transgress his laws ?
Aug. 6. Lord'x-d,!y morning. Upon this sacred morning, Oh that the Holy Spirit of God would en- liven and animate my cold and stupid affections. Oh, that I might this day enter his earthly courts, worship him in an acceptable manner, profess his name before a scoffing world, sit down at his table, and partake in faith of the body and blood of Jesus !
Sabbatheve. And now I have entered into the most solemn engagement to be the Lord's. I have confessed Christ before the world — I have re- nounced my wicked companions — I have solemnly promised, that, denying ungodliness and every worldly lust, I will live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world. If I should, after taking these solemn vows and covenant engage- ments upon me, dishonour the cause of my Re- deemer ; if I should give the enemies of religion reason to say, there is nothing in religion ; if I should again return to my former courses, Oh, how dreadfully aggravated will be my condemnation ! What excuse could I render at the tribunal of a just Judge ? My mouth would be stopped, and I should plead guilty before him. How then does it become me to watch and pray, lest the devices of Satan,
MRS. NEWELL. 29
the world, or my own remaining corruptions, should lead me into temptation !
In thee, O God, do I put my trust ! From thee do 1 hope to obtain mercy in the day of retribution !
Aug. 10. How stupid, how cold 1 grow ! Where is that fervour, that zeal, that animation, I ought to have, after professing to know and receive Jesus, as my Redeemer ? How alluring are the vanities of time ! How prone my heart to wander from God ! How ready to engage in the trifles of this wicked world! Descend, thou Holv Spirit: breathe into my soul a flame of ardent love ; let not my affections wander from the one and only thing that is needful.
TO MISS F. \V , OF BEVERLY.
Haverhill, August, 1S09.— Sabbath morn. A FEW moments this sacred morning shall be devoted to my beloved Miss W. After discontinu- ing for so long a time our correspondence, I again address you. By the endearing title of a friend, I again attempt to lay open my heart before you. But what shall I say ? Shall I tell you, that since I last saw you, I have made great progress in divine grace? To you, my ever dear friend, will I unbosom my heart; to you will I describe my feelings. Yes, I will teil you what God has done for my soul. About six weeks since, he was pleased, in infinite mercy, again to call my attention to the concerns of my soul— again to shew me the evil of my ways. I have now publicly confessed my faith in him. I have taken the vows of the covenant upon me, and solemnly surrendered myself to him, eternally. Oh ! Miss W., should I now be left to dishonour this holy cause, what would be my eternal con- demnation? Oh, pray for me ! Entreat God to have mercy upon me, and keep me from falling. After I left you at the Academy, I by degrees grew more and more neglectful of serious and eternal realities. When I review the past year of my life •, when I
30 MEMOIRS OF
reflect on the wound I have brought upon the blessed religion of Jesus, I am constrained to cry, why has God extended his mercy to tbe vilest of the race of Adam ; — why has he again shewed favour to me, after I have so wickedly abused his precious invitations, and grieved his Holy Spirit ? It is a God, who is rich in mercy, abundant in goodness, and of great compassion, that has done these great things, as I trust for me. How can I be too much engaged for him, too much conformed to his holy will, after these abundant manifestations of his love and mercy ? Oh, that I could spend my few remaining days as I ought, even entirely devoted to the delightful service of the dear Re- deemer!
Sabbath ere.— I have just returned from the house of God, where I have heard two excellent sermons preached by our beloved pastor. What unspeaka- ble privileges we enjoy ! The gospel trump is sound- ing in our ears ; Jesus is proclaimed as ' ready and willing to save all those that come unto God by him/ And why, my dear Miss W., are not these privileges taken from us, and given to the Heathen, who have never heard of a Saviour, and are perish- ing for lack of knowledge. ? God is indulging us with them for wise and holy ends ; and if we do not estimate them according to their real value, and improve under the calls and invitations of the Gospel, there will remain for us 'no more sacrifice, but a fearful looking for of judgment and fiery in- dignation.' "When sitting beneath the Go-pel's joyful sound, I think I can never again be careless or inattentive to religious concerns. But how soon does the world intervene between God and my soul ! How soon do the trifling vanities of time engross my affections ! Oh, my dear friend, did you know the temptations with which I am surrounded, I am confident you would pity me, and intercede for me at tbe throne of grace. But I have this consolation —Jesus was tempted while on earth j he pities his
MRS. NEWELL. 31
tempted saints, and will surely enable them to per- severe unto the end.
He knows what sore temptations mean, For he has felt the same.
I long, dear Miss W., to see you. I long to con- verse with you on the great importance of being really children of God. I long for your assistance while wandering in this wilderness. I think, if I know my heart, I can say, I do love God and his children. If I do not love him, if I do not love his image wherever I see it, I know not what I love. Though Providence sees fit to separate us, yet let us be active in our endeavours to assist each other in our journey to the heavenly Canaan, by our letters and our prayers.
I have now opened to you my heart. Do write to me ; do instruct ine in the important doctrines of the Gospel. May your journey in this vale of tears be sweetened by the presence of the blessed Jesus ! May you go from strength to strength, and when you are released from this burden of clay, appear in the heavenly Jerusalem before God, and spend an eternity at his right-hand, where is fulness of joy ! Adieu. I am yours, &c.
HARRIET Atwood.
1809.
Aug. 13. Again have I enjoyed sabbath and sanctuary privileges. But my heart — alas ! how can 1 live in such dreadful stupidity ! Awaken, O God, my drowsy powers ! animate and warm these cold and languid affections ! Why are not my privi- leges taken from me, and given to the Heathen ?
Aug. 18. I have been this day in the company of some of my gay companions. Oh ! why did I neg- lect, faithfully, to warn them of their danger and entreat them to repent ! How foolish, how trifling is the conversation of the children of this world !
32 MEMOIRS OF
Give me but my Bible, and my retirement, and I would willingly surrender every thing else on earth.
Aug. 2G. How fleeting are the days appointed to mortals ! Another week has glided away. It be- comes me to ask myself, have I lived to the glory of God ? What have I done in the service of Him, who has done so much for me, even laid down his precious life, to redeem my soul? What answer does conscience make? Oh, that I could he enabled to come to that fountain which is open for Judah and Jerusalem to wash in, and cleanse my soul from all pollution ! The time which ought to have been spent in the service of a holy God, has been trifled away in the vanities of a wicked world.
Aug. 27. Have again been indulged with sabbath and sanctuary privileges. The gospel trump has again sounded in my ears: Christians have been called to be more engaged in the cause of Jesus ; and sinners have been affectionately urged to attend to the concerns of their never-dying souls.
Mr. D. addressed us from these words : ' Wicked- ness proceedeth from the wicked/ Afternoon —
* As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men/ He explained the various duties incumbent on Christians, whereby they might do good unto their fellow-mortals. Let me examine my own heart. Have I done good, according to the ability with which God has blessed me, to the souls of my friends and acquaintance? How much reason have I to complain of my unfruitfulness — of my little engagedness in prayer ! Awaken in me, O thou that hearest prayer, a disposition to cry in earnest, for the salvation of souls ! Oh, that I might realise the greatness of the privilege with which the blessed Jehovah has indulged me, in giving me a throne of grace through the mediation of Jesus.
Aug. 28. I awoke last night, and spent a most delightful hour in contemplating divine truth. The words of David flowed sweetly through my mind,
* In the multitude of my thoughts within me, thy
MRS. NEWELL. 33
omforts delight my soul/ Most willingly would I resign all earthly pleasures for one such hour in communion with my God.
Sept. 29. Mr. T. preached our preparatory lecture this afternoon. Text — ' Jesus answered and said, My kingdom is not of this world/ Examined my- self strictly by this question — Am I indeed a real member of Christ's kingdom ? If I am, why are my affections so languid— my heart so cold — my desires so few for the enlargement of Christ's kingdom? Why is my heart so prone to leave God ? Why am I so interested in the concerns of time and sense — and why are the important concerns of my soul so little regarded ? Decide, dearest Jesus, the doubt- ful case. If I never yet have tasted and seen that thou art gracious, Oh, let me now, before it be for ever too late !
Attended our conference this evening. I think I enjoyed what the world could neither give, nor take away.
Sept. 30. How inestimable the blessing of a sin« cere, a pious friend ! Drank tea with Mrs. M. In the most friendly manner she spoke of my former conduct, and tenderly reproved me for an incident which occurred the past day. I acknowledged my fault, confessed my obligations to her for her advice, and sensibly felt the importance of watchfulness and prayer, that I might be kept from entering into temptation. May the review of my former life, serve to humble me in the dust before God, and make me more active than ever in his blessed service !
Oct. 1. The vanities of time have engaged too great a share of my affections. The concerns of my soul have been too much neglected. Oh, for the invigorating influences of the Holy Spirit, to ani- mate my drowsy faculties! Time is short: this month, perhaps, may be my last. Have again been permitted to sit down at the table of the Lord. Oh, how unworthy am I of these precious privileges! Why am I suffered to enjoy them ? C
34 MEMOIRS OF
Have this day heard a most solemn discourse preached by Mr. D. from these words, ' Luto ycu, Oh men, 1 call, and my voice is unto the sons of men.' He mentioned the dying exercises of a Mr. B. whose remains were committed to the tomb the Saturday preceding. His resignation to the Divine will was remarkable. In his dying moments, he warned his young companions of their danger, while out of Christ. May this solemn stroke of Providence be sanctified to the young people in this place ! Oh, that God, in infinite mercy, would be pleased to bring it near my heart, and make it the means of weaning me from this world, and prepar- ing me for the enjoyment of bis celestial kingdom!
Oct. 7. Another week has rolled away, and my probationary existence is still lengthened out. But to what purpose do I live 2 Why am I supported in this world of hope, when I am daily transgressing the laws of a holy God, and grieving his blessed Spirit? Astonishing grace ! wonderful compassion! that still prolongs my days, after such rebellion! Spare me, Oh my God, spare me yet a little longer, and by thy grace enable me to do some little work in thy vineyard.
Oct. 12. Attended another of our conferences. -But how stupid have I felt this evening ! It is per- fectly just that I should not have enjoyed the light of God's countenance ; for I had no heart to ask him to make the evening profitable to my own soul or to the souls of others.
Prayer is the breath of the Christian j when that is omitted, farewell enjoyment.
TO MISS F. W., OF BEVERLY.
Haverhill, Oct. 12, 1609.
The pleasing sensations, dear Miss W., which
your letter excited, can better be conceived than
described. Your affectionate advice I sincerely
thank you for. And Oh ! that I might be enabled
MRS. NEWELL. 35
to follow it. But what shall I write you? Shall I tell you I grow in grace and in conformity to God? Alas! I still have reason to lament my awful stu- pidity, my distance from God, and, in the language of the publican, to cry, * God be merciful to me a sinner!' ' Laden with guilt, a heavy load ;' op- pressed with the temptations of a subtle adversary, the world ever ready to call my affections, how can I be supported ? But here, my friend, I find there is a way provided, whereby God can be just and yet justify even me. In the redemption a Saviour has purchased, there is an infinite fulness, sufficient to supply all our wants. On the precious mount of Calvary hangs all my hope. In his atoning blood, who suffered and died , my sins can be washed away ; and however vile and loathsome in myself, in him I can find cleansing. What wonderful compassion is displayed in the plan of salvation! That the Maker and Preserver of the universe, having all things under his control, should not spare even his own Son, but deliver him up to die on the accursed tree, for mortals who had transgressed his law, and deserved eternal misery! This mystery of mysteries the angels desire to look into. That the just should endure the agonies of a painful and ignominious death for the unjust, is what we cannot comprehend ; but, my friend, what must be our situation to all eternity, if, after such wonderful compassion, we should fall short of an interest in the death of Jesus ? How awful must be the sentence that will be passed upon us who sit under the Gospel's joyful sound, if we slight the offers of salvation! Oh, may this never be our situation, but by unfeigned repentance and cordial submission to the blessed Redeemer, and by lives spent in his service, Oh, may we be prepared to join the society of the redeemed above !
Yesterday afternoon I attended a lecture in the Academy at Bradford. The emotions which vi- brated in my mind, while sitting in this seminary of learning, I cannot describe. Imagination re-
36 MEMOIRS OF
called those scenes which I had witnessed in that place. That season was a precious one to many souls, when the Spirit of God moved among us, and compelled sinners to tremble and earnestly inquire what they should do to inherit eternal life. But those days are past. No more do I hear my com- panions exclaiming, 'Who can dwell with devour- ing fire ! Who can inherit everlasting burnings V No more do I hear souls, who for years have been under the bondage of sin, exclaim, * Come, and I will tell you what God hath done for me.' He has, I hope, * delivered me from the horrible pit and miry clay; has established my goings, and put a new song into my mouth, even praise to his name/ But under these general declensions from the truth of the Gospel, still, 'the Lord doeth all things well/ He will revive his work in his own time. He will repair the waste places of Zion, and sinners will again flock unto him as clouds, and as doves to their windows. And, blessed be his name, he makes his children the honoured instruments in building up his kingdom. Let us then, my dear Miss W.J exert all our faculties to promote his cause. Let us warn sinners of their danger, and walk worthy of the vocation wherewith we are called. Wishing you the light of God's countenance, I bid you adieu.
Harriet.
1809.
Oct. 19. Drank tea with mamma, at Mrs. C.'s. A conference there in the evening. Mr. D. para- phrased the Lord's prayer; and was enabled to wrestle fervently with his Divine Master, for the revival of religion in this place. As for myself, I felt stupid : — could easily trace the cause of my feel- ings. Had no opportunity this day of pouring out my soul to God in prayer. My mother insisted on my accompanying her to Mrs. C.'s; I did, though with as great reluctance as 1 ever obeyed a com- mand of hers.
MRS. NEWELL. 37
I know by experience, that no opportunities for improvement do me any good, unless the Divine blessing is previously requested.
Restraining prayer, we cease to fight. Prayer makes trie Christian's armour bright : And Satan trembles when he sees The weakest saint upon his knees.
Oct. 21. This day, God, in infinite mercy, has seen fit to grant me near access to his mercy-seat. I have been enabled to call upon his name, and to plead with him, for his spiritual Jerusalem. Oh, that he would hear and accept my feeble petitions, and answer them for his own name's sake !
Oct. 23. Have just returned from our reading society ; and feel condemned for my gaiety and light conduct before my companions. Have found no- thing this evening to satisfy the desires of my soul. Greatly fear, that I have brought a wound upon the cause of the blessed Immanuel. Oh, that I might be enabled to glorify God, by my future devoted- ness to him !
Oct. 27. Two servants of Jesus Christ called upon us this afternoon, Mr. W. and Mr. E. Their con- versation was very interesting and instructive. Mr. W. informed us of a serious intention that ap- peared to be commencing in A. Oh, that Jehovah woidd pour down his Spirit there! Oh, that he would ride from conquering to conquer, and make, not only A. a place of his power, but Haverhill also ! Arise, blessed Jesus ! plead thine own cause, and have mercy upon Zion. Now when men are mak- ing void thy law, arise ! build up thy spiritual Jeru- salem, and let her no longer mourn, ' because so few come to her solemn feasts/
Oct. 30. Have just returned from our reading society. Have nothing to complain of this evening but my gaiety and lightness. Ramsay's History of Washington was introduced . The meeting very re- gular and orderly. Sincerely wish it might be the means of improving our minds in the knowledge of
38 MEMOIRS OF
our own and other countries. And, Oh, that from a knowledge of the world which God has made, our minds might be led to the Creator!
Oct. 31. Have spent this day prayerless and stupid. Oh, that I were 'as in months past,' when I felt a spirit of prayer, for the interest of Zion — ■ for the salvation of immortal souls !
Nov. 6. Our reading society met this evening. Have just returned home — find little or no satisfac- tion in the review.
Although the company were light and gay, I pitied them, and in my heart commended them to God. But I fear I countenanced them, and gave them reason to say of me, ' what do you more than others V
Possessed naturally of such a rude and ungovern- able disposition, I sometimes find it difficult to keep within proper bounds. Often does my heart con- demn me for my trifling conduct ; conscience re- proaches; and frequently, I am led to the conclu- sion, that I will no more leave the residence of my mother; have no more to do with the world, but seclude myself, and spend my few remaining days, entirely devoted to the best of beings. But this will not be following the example of the blessed Jesus. No, while I am in the world, let it be my constant endeavour, to do all the good 1 can to my fellow-mortals; to rise above its frowns and flat- teries, and give no occasion for any reproach to be brought upon the cause of religion.
Nov. 8. My dear friend, and, as I humbly trust, my spiritual father, Mr. B. called upon us, a few moments. He expects to preach for Mr. D. next sabbath. On seeing him, I could not but recal the many different scenes that passed while under his instruction?. But those scenes remain in remem- brance only. No more I hear my companions ex. claiming, * What shall I do to inherit eternal life ?' No more I hear them telling to all around them, what the Redeemer has done for their souls. That
MRS. NEWELL. 39
was indeed a precious season to many, and wdl be remembered with joy to all eternity. But to some, the privileges of that season will, I fear, be the means of sinking them lower in eternal torments'. Dreadful thought !
Nov. 12. This has indeed been a blessed day to my soul, though I bave been afflicted with a severe pain in my head. Attended public worship : heard two solemn sermons from our dear friend Mr. B. What a striking instance is it, of the awful hardness of the heart, that when the terrors of the Almighty are set before mortals, and they are told by God's faitbful servants, their awful situation, while un- reconciled to the Divine Character, it has so little effect upon them !
Nov. 13. A severe headache still attends me ; but I desire to be submissive to the will of God, and bear without murmuring whatever he sees fit to lay upon me. His ways are best ; and he has graciously promised, ' that all things shall work together for good to those that love him.' But do I love him ? Have I that love to him, that will enable me to keep all his commandments? Do I love him with all my heart, having no rival in my affections? * Search me, O God, and know me;' try me by thy Spirit, and lead me in the way of eternal "life.
Nov. 16. Have just returned from singing-school. Surrounded by my gav companions, I have found that I could place no dependence on my own strength; without the assistance of Jesus, I shall fall into temptation, and wound his cause.
TO MISS C. F.,OF BOSTON.
Haverhill. Not dated. Pardon, dearest C, the long silence of your friend Harriet. Although I have omitted answer- ing your affectionate epistle, my heart has been r>fien with you. Yes, C, often have I fancied sec-
40 MEMOIRS OF
ing you engaged to promote the cause of the blessed Immanuel, solemnly renounced the vanities cf an alluring world, and taking the decided part of a child of God. Oh, may you bo enabled to follow on to know the Lord, and constantly live as a dis- ciple of the meek and lowly Jesus! I sincerely and ardently wish you the aid of the Holy Spirit, and a heart habitually conformed to the holy character of God. Great and precious are the promises an infinitely merciful Jehovah has made in his word, to those who persevere in well-doing. But how great the guilt, and how aggravated must be the condemnation of those who are represented as being often reproved, and yet harden their hearts against God!
While we hear the denunciations of God's wrath to the finally impenitent, let us, my friend, be ac- tive to secure an interest in his favour. Then, let what will befal us in this life, our souls will rest safe on the rock of ages ; Jesus will be our guide and friend through earth's tedious pilgrimage; he will be our support through the valley of the shadow ef death ; and when released from this tenement of clay, will admit us to the new and heavenly Jerusalem.
Upon reviewing the scenes of the past I find but little or no satisfaction. A hard, impenitent heart, an engagedness in the concerns of time and sense, and an awful stupidity respecting eternity, I have this day felt. Oh,C, I am astonished when I view the feelings of my heart ! But still more am I asto- nished, when I reflect upon the forbearance of God, who still supports me in existence, still indulges me with the day and means of grace.
Thursday morning. Yesterday I attended a fast at the West parish. Heard one most excellent sr r- mon, and a number of interesting addresses. The exercises were very solemn and instructive. I long to have you with us. Since I last saw you, we have been highly favoured by God. Oh, that he would
MRS. NEWELL. 41
hasten that happy period, when the whole earth shall be brought to a knowledge of the truth as it is in Jesus. Let us frequently and earnestly inter- cede at the throne of grace, for the commencement of the Millennium.
Wishing you the light of God's countenance, and a heart to labour aright in his vineyard, I bid you, my friend, an affectionate farewell. Yours, &c.
Harriet.
to miss f. \y., of beverly.
Haverhill, Sabbath Eve, Nov. 26, 1809.
I HAVE this moment received, dear Miss W., your inestimable letter; in which you affectionately congratulate me on the happiness of 'tasting that the Lord is gracious.'
Assailed by temptations, surrounded by the gay and thoughtless, and with but few of the humble followers of the Lamb to guide me in the path of duty, or to instruct me in the great things of the kingdom, what feelings do I experience, when re- ceiving from my beloved friend, a letter filled, not only with assurances of continued affection, but with encomiums upon the character of the dear Iroma- nuel, as being ' the chief among ten thousands, and altogether lovely V Often does my heart glow with gratitude to the Parent of mercies, for bestowing on me such a favour, as one friend to whom 1 can dis- close the secret recesses of my heart, and with whom I can converse upon the important doctrines of the gospel, and an eternal state of felicity prepared for those whose ' robes have been washed and made white in the blood of the Lamb/
Have not you, my friend, often felt, when con- versing upon these great truths, a fiame of divine love kindle in your heart ; and have you not so- lemnly resolved, that you would live nearer to the blessed Jehovah?
I have this day been permitted to worship God
42 MEMOIRS OF
in his earthly courts. How unspeakably great are the privileges with which we are indulged, in this land of gospel light! The sabbath before last, Mr.B. exchanged with Mr. D. Oh, my beloved Miss W., could you have heard the important truths he preached, the impressive manner in which he held forih the terrors of God to the impenitent, and the necessity of immediate repentance, surely it must to you have been a blessed season. But it had no visible effect upon the minds of the people here. A dreadful inattention to religion still prevails. The youth are very thoughtless and gay; 'iniquity abounds, and the love of many waxes cold.' But there are, as I humbly trust, a pious few, who are daiiy making intercession at the throne of grace, for the prosperity of Zion.
What encouragement have we, my dear friend, to wrestle at the throne of mercy, for renewing and sanctifying grace, for ourselves and the whole Israel of God. Even in times of the greatest declension, Jehovah hath promised that he will hear the prayers of his children ; and that, if offered up in sincerity of heart, he will, in his own time, send gracious answers.
Next Friday eveuing, it being the evening after Thanksgiving, a ball is appointed in this place. I think it probable that E., whom you once saw anx- iously inquiring what she should do to inherit eter- nal life, will attend. Oh, my beloved friend, you cannot know my feelings. It is dreadful to see mortals bound to eternity, spending their lives with no apparent concern about their never-dying souls: but it is, if possible, more dreadful to see those, who have ' put their hands to the plough, look back ; or being often reproved, harden their hearts against God/
How unsearchable are the ways of Jehovah! When I look around me, and see so many of my friends and companions, who are by nature endowed with much greater talents than I am, and who would,
MRS. NEWELL. 43
if partakers of the grace of God, he made the instru- ments of doing so much more good in the world, left in a state of sin, 1 am constrained to say,
Why was I made to hear thy voice,
And enter while there's room ; When thousands make a wretched choice,
And rather starve than come?
I could, my dear Miss W., write you all night; but a violent headache has attended me this day, and -wearied nature requires repose.
I sincerely thank you, for the affectionate invita- tion you have given me to visit you. I wish it were possible for me to comply with your request; per- haps I may this winter; "but I shall not place much dependence upon it, as every thing is so uncertain. Do, my friend, visit Haverhill. I long to see you : but if Providence has determined we shall never meet again in this world, Oh, may we meet in our heavenly Father's kingdom, and nevermore endure a separation. In haste. I am yours, &c.
Harriet.
1809.
Dec. 1. This evening a.ball is appointed at .
My dear will probably attend. I have re- solved to devote some part of the evening in pray- ing particularly for them. Oh, that God would stop them in the midst of their sinful career, and let them no longer spend their precious moments in fol- lowing the pleasures of this vain world !
Dec. 31. I have now come to the close of another year. How various have been the scenes which I have been called to pass through this year! But what have I done for God ? what for the interest of religion? and what for my own soul? I have passed through one of the most solemn scenes of my life — I have taken the sacramental covenant upon me — I have solemnly joined myself to the church of the blessed Jesus.
Oh ! that I might now, as in the presence of the
44 MEMOIRS OF
great Jehovah and his holy angels, with penitential sorrow, confess mv past ingratitude, and in humble reliance on the strength of Jesus, resolve to devote the ensuing year, and the remaining part of my days, to his service.
1810.
Feb. 10. What great reason have I for thankful- ness to God, that 1 am still in the land of the living, and have another opportunity of recording with my pen, his tender mercy and loving kindness i I have been, for almost five weeks, unable to write ; and for a week confined to my bed. But JESUS has un- dertaken to be my Physician*, he has graciously restored me to health ; and when greatly distressed with pain, he has afforded me the sweet consolations of the Spirit, and brought me willingly to resign my soul into his arms, and wait the event of his Pro- vidence, whether life or death.
Oh, that this sickness might be for my eternal good! may it be made the means of weaning me from all terrestrial enjoyments, and of fixing my hope and trust in the merits of Jesus ! Then should I have cause to bless God for his chasteuing rod, and through eternity, count all these afflictive dis- pensations as great mercies.
Feb. 18. How easily can God disconcert the plans formed by short-sighted mortals ! I had fondly flat- tered myself, that before this, I should have met with the assembly of the saints, and have sitten under the droppings of the sanctuary ; — that I should have joined my Christian friends in their social conference, and heard the truths of the gos- pel explained by our dear Pastor. But Jehovah determined otherwise. He has again laid his chas- tening rod upon me, by afflicting me with sickness and pain. But, ' I will bear the indignation of the Lord, because I have sinned against him.' I have a renewed opportunity of examining my submission to God j and do now, as in his presence, renewedly
MRS. NEWELL. 45
resolve to devote myself a living sacrifice to him. I think I can say, that afflictions are good for me. In times of the greatest distress, I have been brought to cry within myself, ' It is the Lord, let him do what seemeth hiai good/ I think I amwitt* buj to bear whatever God sees fit to lay upon me. Let my dear heavenly Father inflict the keenest an- guish, I will submit ; for he is infinitely excellent, and can do nothing wrong.
Feb. 25. With the light of this holy morning, I desire to offer to the kind Shepherd of Israel, who never slumbers nor sleeps, a morning tribute of thanksgiving and praise. Oh, that my whole soul might be drawn out in love to God; and may all my faculties unite with the inhabitants of the New Jerusalem, in praising the immortal King, for what he has done, and still is doing for rebellious man! But I fall infinitely short of the honour due to his glorious name. When shall I arrive at the destined port of rest, and with the blood-washed millions, praise the Lamb of God for redeeming love ? Has- ten, blessed Immanuel, that glorious period, when all thy exile children shall arrive at their eternal home ! Oh, for a tongue to sound aloud the ho- nours of the dear Jesus !
March 2. Have, this afternoon, been solemnly admonished, by seeing the remains of Mr. E. car- ried by the house. And can it be that I, who am now so actively engaged in the affairs of this world, shall shortly be conveyed, on a bier, to the cold grave? Yes, the righteous Judge has declared to the race of Adam, ' Dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return/' Soon this sentence will be ex- ecuted upon me. Prepare, O my soul, to meet thy God!
March 6. What unspeakable consolation does it afford the children of God, to reflect that the great Jehovah is carrying on his work of grace ; that earth and hell combined, cannot hinder what he has designed to accomplish !
46 MEMOIRS OF
March 10. How awfully depraved is the natural heart ! Every day I can see more and more of my own apostacy from God. Break, compassionate Immanuel, Oh! break this stony heart of mine, and compel me to live as an obedient child !
March 13. How engaged am I in the concerns of this world! I cannot but ask myself the question, Have I any reason to imagine that I am interested in the covenant of life 1 If so, why am I thus ? Why this awful distance from God? 'Search me, 0 God ! and know my heart ; try me, and know my thoughts, and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.'
March 22. Have again been permitted to attend a religious conference. Mr. T. preached from these words, t Do thyself no harm/ How astonishing that I can be so negligent in duty, when there are so many immortal souls around me, that are doing themselves eternal harm! Why do I not feel their awful condition, and solemnly warn them, both by precept and example, 'to flee from the wrath to
TO MISS F. W., OF BEVERLY.
Haverhill, March 31, 1810. FAVOURED byDivine Providence with an oppor- tunity of expressing my gratitude to my beloved Miss W., for all the testimonies of friendship which she has shewn me, I cordially embrace it. Your last friendly letter was this day received. To as- sure you how much happiness your letters confer on me, would be but what I have already told you. The one I received when on a bed of sickness, was a real treasure. My feeble health alone prevented my answering it before. I have lately been led to dwell much on the doctrine of the Divine decrees. I should like to have your ideas on the subject. Al- though God is under no obligations to save one of the apostate race of Adam, and it would not dero-
MRS. NEWELL. 47
gate from his justice, were he to send all to eternal torments ; yet, to display the riches of his grace, he determines to save a few. Why should we say, what doestthou? The children of God are, or ought to be, lights in the world. But I fear that I shall be a stumbling-block to others. I have often thought myself one of those who are * tossed to and fro, and carried about by every wind of doctrine/ When I hear arguments on one side, I think I am convinced; when on the other, I think the same. But I leave this subject for the present.
Let me tell you, that I fondly indulge the hope of seeing you before long. Mr. H. and myself have thought considerably of a ride to Beverly. Should not our wishes be frustrated, I shall probably see you in four or five weeks ; if not then, I shall relin- quish the idea, as I shall commence attending school in May. When I see you, I will relate to you my exercises in my past illness.
Have we not abundant reason to rejoice in the government of God? He is carrying on his work, converting sinners, and making the wrath of man to praise him. Oh, that Haverhill and Beverly might experience the influence of the Holy Spirit! God can work here as easily as in Salem and Man- chester. Let us be ardent and constant at the throne of mercy, that the blessed Immanuel would revive his work, and pour out his Spirit on the churches and people with which we are connected. Oh ! why, my friend, are we so cold and stupid ? I earnestly request an interest in your prayers. Yours sincerely, Harriet.
1810.
April 6. This evening had some interesting con- versation with a friend, upon the past scenes of my life. Oh, how is my life rilled up with folly and sin ! Surely, if I am ever pardoned and accepted by the blessed Redeemer,, I must ascribe it wholly to the mercy of God.
48 MEMOIRS OF
April 29. A sudden death this week. Mrs. C. ■was in health and prosperity one hour, and thenext — in the cold embraces of the universal conqueror ! May this solemn event be sanctified to surviving friends ! And may it lead me to place my affections on the things of eternity !
May 4. Just returned from the house of God. Heard a inost interesting sermon preached by Mr. A., text — * Ye are the salt of the earth ; but if the salt have lost its savour, wherewith shall it be salted.'
Mr. E. called upon us a few moments, and in- formed us, there was a great revival of religion in his society and town. Oh, how did it rejoice my heart! However cold and stupid, I can in sincerity say, that I love to hear of the conversion of sinners. Must Haverhill be left destitute of the work of the Spirit? Oh, let me be ardent and constant at the throne of grace, for the out-pouring of the Spirit, and a revival of religion amongst us.
May 11. Called upon a friend this morning, who, to human appearance, is on the brink of the grave. She was speechless, though not senseless. Her very countenance declared the importance of reli- gion. Never shall I forget the affectionate manner in which she pressed my hand to her bosom, and lifted her eyes to heaven, as if calling down a bless- ing upon me. Oh, that I could rightly improve this affecting dispensation of Providence!
May 24. 1 have been where heaven and hell, the soul and eternity, appear important subjects ! The people in B. are awake. Attended two evening lectures — the meeting-house thronged with solemn and attentive hearers.
May 29. Attended singing-school this evening. Though meetings for this purpose be ever so plea- sant, yet so great have been my temptations the winter past, that I could not feel sorry that the meetings were concluded. Hope I have not brought dishonour upon the cause of Jesus, by my careless behaviour before my companions.
MRS. NEWELL. 49
May 30. Election day. This day recalls many painful events, which occurred last year at this tiir.e. How was I then labouring for ' the meat that perisheth,' — following the leadings of a trifling- heart ! It was infinite mercy, that snatched me from the abyss, and, as I humbly trust, made me a mo- nument of redeeming love. ' Praise the Lord, Oh my soul !'
June 2. Have had some interesting conversation with Miss W. upon the situation of my dear E. Who knows, thought I, but what she might now have been earnestly engaged in the cause of the Redeemer, if it were not for my unchristian con- duct. How can I think of being an enemy to the souls of my dear friends?
June 3. Solemn indeed have been the transac- tions of this day. Oh, that they might be remem- bered with joy through eternity ! Had some hum- bling views of my past ingratitude. The aggra- vated transgressions of my life, the last six months in particular, have been laid open before me. Have again solemnly resolved to live to God. If I should again become stupid: but no, — I cannot — I will surrender myself to Jesus. He will keep me from failing, and present me faultless before his Father's throne.
June 4. Have been solemnly impressed with the worth of immortal souls this day. The welfare of my school companions, lies near my heart. In what way can I be serviceable to them ? They have souls a? valuable as mine. Oh, then, let me use my best endeavours to bring them to the knowledge of the truth, and save them from the awful punishment which awaits the finally impenitent.
June 8. Afflicted with a severe pain in my head. A celebrated author observes, that every pain we feel, is a warning to us to be prepared for death. Oh, that it may have this effect upon me!
June 20. How unsatisfying and unstable are all the enjoyments of time. I am daily more convinced D
50 MEMOIRS OF
that nothing short of the unchangeable Jehovah, can afford real happiness. To-day we may imagine ourselves possessed of a friend, who will not for- sake us ; to-morrow that same person may prove a deceiver. May 1 learn wisdom from the news I have this evening heard! Oh, that such things might have a happy tendency to wean me from this world, and prepare me for another!
June 30. Called on my dear friend E. She has lately experienced affliction. She told me that she was resigned to Divine Providence, and could re- joice, even in the hour of distress. Happy com- posure! What joys, Oh ye deluded followers of unrighteousness, have you to boast, compared with that experienced by a humble follower of Jesus?
July 1. Hail sacred morning !— once ushered in with the most interesting events ever registered in the records of time. On this holy morning, the Saviour rose from the grave. Expect this ray to comme*morate the sufferings of the Lamb of God. Grant me, gracious God, sweet communion with thee. Let me not eat and drink judgment to mysc if.
July 7. How have I spent this day ? What a dreadful sink of wickedness is my heart! Must I resign the idea of ever feeling the power of reli- gion? Surely, if I am a child of God, I could not live so stupid.
July 19. Favoured with the privilege of attend- ing a lecture this afternoon. Our dear minister preached from these words, ' How long halt ye between two opinions?' a most solemn discourse. In the evening, a meeting at Mr. D.'s for religious conversation. A small number of young people appeared unusually solemn. Has not God already begun to shew the riches of his grace? Will he not arise, and have mercy On Haverhill, and make; it a place where he will delight to dwell?
August 6. How soon are my resolutions to live wholly to God, broken! My conscience daily re- proaches me, foi my- unfaithfulness to my compa-
MRS. NEWELL. 51
nions, to myself, and to my God. If any one should have told me, when light first shone on my mind, that I should feel such indifference to the salvation of sinners, and so little love to God, as I now feel, I should have exclaimed, impossible!
Oct. 10. This day entered upon my eighteenth year. Seventeen years have rolled, almost insen- sibly, away. I still remain a pilgrim in this barren land. Merciful Jesus, on the commencement of this year, may thy supporting hand be underneath me, and if my life is prolonged, may it be more faith- fully devoted to thee, and to thy blessed cause.
Oct. 20. A female friend called upon us this morning. She informed me of her determination to quit her native land, to endure the sufferings of a Christian amongst heathen nations — to spend her days in India's sultry clime. How did this news affect my heart ! Is she willing to do all this for God j and shall I refuse to lend my little aid, in a land where divine revelation has shed its clearest rays? I have felt more for the salvation of the heathen this day, than I recollect to have felt through my whole past life.
How dreadful their situation! What heart but would bleed at the idea of the sufferings they en- dure, to obtain the joys of Paradise ? What can / do, that the light of the gospel may shine upon them? They are perishing for lack of knowledge, when I enjoy the glorious privileges of a Christian land. Great God, direct me ! Oh, make me in some way beneficial to their immortal souls!
Oct. 21. Had a joyful meeting this day, in the house of God. ' When I am weak, then am I strong.' Have experienced the truth of this decla- ration this day. Went to meeting in the morning afflicted with bodily pain, yet joyful in the God of my salvation. Reflecting on the melancholy state of our church, was distressed, lest the deserved judgments of the Almighty should be poured upon us. But the words of the dear Redeemer,
52 MEMOIRS OF
* Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom/ sweetly refreshed and animated my desponding spirit, f desire ever to bless the Lord, for the manifestations of his love this day. He has taught me, that nei- ther Paul nor Apollos is any thing without his grace. Ministers may faithfully preach, but the •word will not prove successful, if God does not touch the heart.
I have seen the glory of God in his sanctuary.
* I had rather be a door-keeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness/ The Lord is good ; may it be my delightful em- ployment on earth to praise him ; and in heaven may I join the enraptured millions, in a song that shall never end.
Oct. 23. Mr. Iff. introduced Mr. N.* to our family. He appears to be an engaged Christian. Expects to spend his life in preaching a Saviour to the benighted pagans.
Oct. 31. Mr. N. called on us this morning. He gave me some account of the dealings of God with his soul. If such a man, who has devoted himself to the service of the gospel, has determined to labour in the most difficult part of the vineyard, and is willing to renounce his earthly happiness for the interest of religion; if Redoubts his possessing love to God — what shall I say of myself?
Nov. 4. Have once more commemorated the dying love of Jesus. Have entertained some faint views of the character of God ; and mourned for the evil of sin. How condescending is God, to permit hell-deserving rebels to commune with him at his table ! What on earth can equal the love of Jehovah ! He treats those who are by nature his enemies, like children.
Nov. 6. Sleep has fled from me, and my soul is enveloped in a dark cloud of troubles! Oh, that God would direct me! Oh, that he would plainly * Mr. Newell, it is presume '.
MRS. NEWELL. 53
mark out the path of duty, and let me not depart from it !
Nov. 10. Have this day commenced reading Law's Serious Call to a holy life. How infinitely short do I fall of this holy conformity to my Maker, ■which he describes as the property of a Christian! I am as much obligated to yield myself a willing soldier to Christ, to fight his battles, and glorify him, in every action of my life, as he who ministers at the altar, and performs the office of a preacher. Why then am I not employed in his service ? Why stand I here idle all the day ?
EXTRACT OF A LETTER TO HER SISTER M., AT CHARLESTOWiN.
Nov. 18, 1810.
* How gracious, my dear sister, has God been to us! Uninterrupted health, food, and raiment are ours. But when I enumerate our many mercies, it is with deep humility that I look back on my past life, and discover so little gratitude, and so much unworthiness. How much has sovereign grace done for me ! Though I have solemnly professed to find consolation in religion, to derive my hopes of happiness only from God ; yet how often have I roved in quest of pleasure, and dishonoured the best of masters, by an unholy life. How ungrate- ful have I been for the common mercies of life, and for the still more precious blessings of the Holy Spirit. May every temporal blessing which your heart can wish, be yours. But whatever be the trials through which you are called to pass, Oh, may that heaven-born religion attend you, which can sweeten the bitter cop of life, afford you joy in this vale of tears, support you in nature's last ex- tremity, and conduct you to the heavenly Canaan, where undisturbed happiness will ever reign ! Life is but a vapour. Whether we spend it in tran- quillity and ease, or in pain and suffering, time
54 MEMOIRS OF
■will soon land us on the shores of eternity, our destined home. These things, my dear sister, my heart tells me, are solemn realities. They are not fictions. Though the language of my past life has beeD, " there is no future state-/' yet I ?ww feel there is an eternity, where I shall meet my earthly friends, and stand accountable at the great tribunal for my conduct towards them. I regret the loss of those hours I have lost in vanity, and in wounding the cause of that dear Redeemer, whom I think, if I am not greatly deceived, I can now call mine. I think I can say with the Psalmist, " Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee/' — His religion comforts and supports my drooping spirits ; his promises encourage, and his glories warm my heart. But where am I ? The striking clock reminds me of the lateness of the hour. These delightful, these heart-consoling subjects have almost made me forget that tired nature requires repose/
TO MISS S. H., AXDOVER.
Haverhill, Nov. 20, 1810. WILL it afford my dear Miss H. the best satis- faction to hear of the health and happiness of her friends at Haverhill? Let me assure you of our per- fect health, and of our united wishes for your hap- piness, both temporal and eternal. While many of our friends are languishing on beds of sickness, sighing for the return of health, — while many have gone the ' way of all the earth,' ' have heard their sentence, and received their doom;' we are still enjoying the blessings of health, and are not out of the reach of pardoning mercy. Ought not a review of these daily blessings to excite in us the liveliest gratitude ? How should our whole lives be a con- stant series of grateful acknowledgment to the Pa- rent of mercies, for bestowing such great, such un- merited favours on rebels doomed to die ! — Is my
MRS. NEWELL. 55
friend, Miss H. rejoicing in God ? Does she find joy and peace in believing? This I sincerely hope is your happy situation. I have infinite reason to confess my obligation to God, for the faint discove- ries I have lately entertained of his glorious cha- racter. Yes, my dear Miss H., I still find the pro- mises precious, and Jesus unchangeable. Though 1 am worthless and undeserving, yet the blessed Immanuel is lovely, and worthy of the united praises of saints and angels. Though I am often led to doubt my interest in this dear Saviour, yet sometimes I can rejoice in his perfections and exclaim with Thomas, * My Lord and my God !'
You have, undoubtedly, heard of the departure of i\lrs. S. Her faith and her patience endured to the end. What a happy exchange has she made ! Who would not wish to die the death of the righ- teous ? who would not wish their last end to be like hers?
Mrs. M. appears to enjoy religion, she wishes much to see you. A general stupidity to the one thing needful still prevails. When will the showers of divine grace be poured out upon this place? Will not this church, this vine of God's planting, rejoice to see the work of the Lord prospering ? Your earnest prayers are requested for a revival of pure and undefiled religion in Haverhill. Mr. Newell preached a lecture here last evening. Do we not need such faithful preachers here as, much as the benighted pagans in India? Is not the situa- tion of gospel sinners much more desperate, than that of those who have never heard of a Saviour ? But still we have reason to rejoice that God has inclined a faithful few to preach Jesus to the hea- then. Oh, may their labours be blessed ! May they see the inhabitants of the wilderness embracing the offers of mercy! We shall expect to see you with Mr. W. on Saturday. Do not disappoint u>. Ac- cept this from Harriet.
56 MEMOIRS OF
TO MISS M. T,, OF NEWBURY.
Boston, Feb. 18, 1811. What, my dear friend, (if I may enjoy the pri- vilege of corresponding with you) shall be the sub- ject of our letters? Shall the common occurrences of life, and the flattering compliments of the polite world, fill our sheets? or that religion, which is the glory of the bright intelligences in heaven, and the consolation of trembling believers on earth ? I think I can confidently affirm that the latter will be your choice. As for myself, I can say that if I never felt the power of this religion, yet it is a theme upon which I love to converse, write, and reflect. It is a duty incumbent on the children of God to re- pros e, encourage, and animate each other on their journey to the upper world. Every Christian has difficulties to overcome, temptations to encounter, and a warfare to accomplish, which the world are strangers to. If pilgrims in the same country can in the least console each other, and sweeten the thorny journey, by familiar intercourse, they ought not to neglect it. We, my dear M., are professedly interested in the same cause. Our home is profess- edly in heaven ; we have temptations, difficulties, trials, and doubts, which if we are believers, are in unison. I feel that I need the prayers and the ad- vice of all the followers of the Lamb. 1 have ' an evil heart of unbelief,' prone to ' depart from the living God/ Will M. pray for me ? Will she bear me in remembrance when supplicating mercy for other sinners? You shall not be forgotten by H. No. — If the Friend of sinners will lend a listening ear to my feeble cries, M. shall be strengthened and blessed. By these united cries, we may draw down from Heaven favours never to be forgotten. Pain- ful recollection often recurs to those weeks that I spent at Bradford. I say painful, because I fear that my conduct brought a wound on that religion,
MRS. NEWELL. 57
that I should wish to honour. While I lament with humility the loss of many precious hours, and the stupidity which I then experienced, I have reason to adore the mercy of Jehovah, that has since granted me refreshing showers of grace. Yes, M., my mind has been greatly exercised since I last saw you. Never before did the promises of the gospel appear so precious, the character of God so lovely, and immortal souls of so much worth. I tremble at the idea of being again involved in the vanities of a world which can afford no pleasure, and of feeling indifferent about the kingdom of Jesus. But I am a dependent creature; if forsaken of God, I shall perish. My hope is on his grace. What, my friend, is the state of your mind? Are you enjoying the light of a Saviour's countenance? Are you fast progressing heavenward ; and are you possessing joy that is unspeakable and full of glory ? This I hope is your situation. ' A soul redeemed demands" al ife of praise/ Let our future lives evince our gratitude, and every thought be brought into sub- jection to the Father of spirits. It is now about three weeks since I left H. Last sabbath I enjoyed the pleasure of hearing the good Dr. G. preach. This pleasure I hope often to be favoured with while I continue with my sister M. I have been these two days with our friends the Misses F/s. My time has passed very pleasantly with them.
I have more things to tell you than I have time to write. A number of interesting occurrences have happened since I saw you. Should I again be indulged with an interview with you, I fear 1 shall tire your patience with a history of my troubles and pleasures. But I must leave you, my M. May you. enjoy the influences of the Holy Spirit in life, con- solation in death, and a seat in the mansions of blessedness! Harriet.
58 MEMOIRS OF
1811.
Feb. 24. FOR four weeks past, have been visit- ing my sister at C. The first week, I was remark- ably favoured with the presence of Immanuel. Never before did I gain such access to the mercy- seat, and entertain such glorious views of the cha- racter of God, and such humiliating ideas of my own as a sinner. But 1 have since experienced a sad reverse. My God, why has thou forsaken me? O for that invigorating grace, which the Saviour dispenses to his followers ! But can I hope myself his follower?
Last sabbath went with Mr. H. and sister M. to hear Dr. G. His language, his very features, spoke the emotion of his soul. His text was in Corinthi- ans, * When I was a child, I spake as a child,' &c.
As we entered the meeting-house, they were singing my favourite hymn, ' Lord, what a wretched land is this/ &c. in a melancholy air. Such were my sensations, that I could hardly refrain from weeping. How lovely are thy tabernacles, O Lord of hosts, where the gospel of Jesus is proclaimed!
Feb. 25. After spending the day in trifling con- versation, I was permitted to enjoy the privilege of attending a Christian conference, where the even- ing was spent in praving, singing, and conversing upon the things of religion.
Feb. 26. Mr. H. and sister M. informed me that my dear mamma wished me to engage in a school, the ensuing summer. Can I think of such a re- sponsible situation as that of instructing little immortals? I know that I ought not to consult my own ease ; the question should be, how can I be most useful in the world ? I hope I shall be directed by heaven! Oh, that God would use me as an in- strument of promoting his glory ; whether it be in the domestic circle, or in the arduous employment of ' teaching young ideas how to shoot.'
Feb. 27. I have spent the greatesc part of the
MRS. NEWELL. 60
ilay in reading. I find that I am indeed ignorant — ■ long to have time to devote myself wholly to the improvement of my mind. While endeavouring to obtain useful knowledge, Oh may I never forget, that if at last found a hypocrite, I shall be capable of greater sufferings than if totally ignorant.
Feb. 28. Afflicted with a violent pain in my head. Experience daily evinces, that afflictions will do me no good, unless sanctified. Have had some sense of the presence of Jehovah, and some longing de- sires to be wholly conformed to him. When shall this vain world lose its power to charm, and the re- ligion of the gospel influence my heart and life ? Oh, when shall I die, when shall I live for ever? How many times this day, have I repeated that hymn of Dr. Watts, ' Lord, what a wretched land is this.'
March 1. Father of lights, it is the office of thy Spirit, to create holy exercises in the hearts of thy creatures. O may I enter upon this month with renewed resolutions to devote myself exclusively to thee ; that at the close of it, I may not sigh over mispent hours.
March 3. Heard an admirable sermon this morn- ing from Dr. G. Have likewise communed with God at his table. Oh, this cold stupid heart, I long for wings to fly away from this clod of earth, and participate the holiness and pleasures of the saints within the vail.
March 4. Have this day visited at . The en- tertainment of the evening was splendid and extra- vagant. Query. Is it consistent with the humble religion of the gospel, for professors, who ought to deny themselves, and take up their cross daily, to expend that money which is God's, and is only lent them for pious uses, in providing dainties to please the palate, and in clothes to ornament their bodies ?
Where is the vast difference between the children of God and the children of this world ? As far as I have examined the subject, it is my candid opinion,
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that if Christians would appropriate more of their property to charitable purposes, instead of making such extravagant provision for the flesh ; would men imitate the example of the meek and lowly Jesus, feel indifferent to the smiles and frowns of the world ; religion would flourish, the kingdom of God would be built up, and happy effects would be vi- sible through the world.
March 9. This is a delightful evening! Not a cloud is in the heavens to intercept the bright ravs of the moon. All nature, both animate and inani- mate, appears combined in the blessed employ- ment of praising God. The moon shining in her glory, and the planets and stars, are monitors that speak aloud — more lovely to me, than ten thousand human voices. Awake, my slothful soul ; nothing in creation has half thy work to perform, and Oh, let it not be said that nothing is half so dull !
March 25. God has not left himself without wit- ness in the earth. No; he is still manifesting the riches of his grace, in bringing home his chosen ones. A young lady of my acquaintance, formerly gay and a stranger "to piety, has hopefully become a follower of the Lamb ! And has my dear M. chosen Jesus for her friend and portion ? I cannot but stand amazed to see the salvation of God.
March 30. Have found much encouragement and satisfaction of late in reading some of Newton's works. They are indeed a treasure. He penetrates my heart; and while he exposes my depravity, he points me to the J>amb of God, who taketh away the sin of the world .
April 1. This is an interesting public day. O that the Supreme Ruler of all events would incline every citizen to vote for that man who is most wor- thy of the office of a governor. The aspect of the times is dark ; but God can bring good out of evil, and continue to usour national blessings. I often find this reflection a sweet solace in the hour of dark- ness, that no event, however small, can take place
MRS. NEWELL. 61
without the permission and direction of the great Jehovah.
April 7. This a day, on which God usually ma- nifests the glories of his character to his dear chil- dren. How exactly calculated are all the means and ordinances of the gospel, for the comfort and improvement of the saints. What an act of love and wisdom was it in God, to select one day from the week, to be appropriated to his worship. Were it not for this glorious day, I should be in danger of losing all sense of eternal things.
April 9. What shall a stupid Christian do? Stu- pid Christian did 1 say ! Can a Christian ever feel stupid 1 It is an inconsistent title. But notwith- standing all my death-like stupidity, I cannot re- nounce the hope of being a child of the Most High. What shall I do, a dependent, guilty creature, to gain access to the mercy-seat, and derive a supply of grace from the fountain of life ? Draw me, thou Saviour of sinners, and I will run after thee. O lead me beside the still waters, and refresh my soul with heavenly food.
April 17. How shall I record the events of this day! How can I tranquillize my disturbed mind enough to engage in the once delightful employ- ment of writing? Returned from Boston in the evening, after spending three days very agreeably with my friends C. and N., M. handed me a let- ter with an appearance which indicated that some- thing unusual was contained in it. I broke the seal, and what were rny emotions when I read the
name of This was not a long wished-for letter :
no ; it was a long-dreaded one, which I was con- scious would involve me in doubt, anxiety, and dis- tress. Nor were the contents such as I might an- swer at a distant period ; they re quired an imme- diate answer. And now what shall I say ? How shall I decide this important , this interesting ques- tion ? Shall I consent to leave for ever the parent of my youth, the friends of my life, the dear scenes
62 MEMOIRS OF
of my childhood, and my native country, and go to a land of strangers, 'not knowing the things which shall befal me there?' O for direction from Heaven! O for ' that wisdom which is profitable to direct !' 1 will go to God, and with an unpre- judiced mind, seek his guidance. I will cast this heavy burden on him, humbly trusting that he will sustain me, and direct me in the path of duty.
April 19. The important decision is not yet made. I am still wavering. I long to see and converse with my dear mother. So delicate is my situation, that I dare not unbosom my heart to a single per- son. What shall I do? could tears direct me in the path of duty, surely I should be directed. My heart aches. I know not what to do! ' Guide me, O thou great Jehovah!'
April 21. Have now retired to my chamber, once more to vent in silence, my unavailing sighs, and with an almost bursting heart, implore divine relief and direction.
I shall go home on Tuesday. — Never did I so greatly long to visit the dear native dwelling.
April 22. Perhaps, my dear mother will imme- diately say, Harriet shall never go. Well, if this should be the case, my duty would be plain. I can- not act contrary to the advice and express com- mand of a pio'.is mother.
The fact was, that her mother made no objection to her acceptiug the offer of Mr. Newell ; but cheer- fully left her to act according to her conviction of duty.
TO MISS F. W., OF BEVERLY.
Haverhill, April 29, 1811. It has not been for want of inclination, or from forgetfulness, that I have thus long neglected writ- ing to my dear friend Miss W. ; but every day has brought with it various and new occupations; and though my friends have not been forgotten, yet I confess I have not been so punctual as I ought. I
MRS. NEWELL. 63
need not assure you, that your letter produced many ' pleasing sensations. I hope this will find you enjoy- ing the presence of our covenant Saviour, and en- gaged in the promotion of his glorious cause. Chris- tians are greatly criminal for not living in the con- stant enjoyment of God. He is ever ready and will- ing to manifest the glories of his character to their souls; and nothing but their native opposition to holiness, and their love of evil, ever prevents. Are not believers inconsistent creatures ? They can speak of a Saviour's love — the happiness resulting from an acquaintance with God, and point out the road to impenitent sinners, which alone will lead to substantial bliss; and yet often wander in for- bidden paths, lose all relish for spiritual enjoy- ments, and rest contented with the low pleasures of sense.
If I am a child of Jesus, this inconsistency has often been mine. And yet I long for a greater sense of my dependence, and more entire conformity to Him who died for me. If any thing here deserves the name of happiness, it does not spring from earth. No; it is of heavenly birth, and comes from the regions of purity. The vast and boundless de- sires implanted in the human heart, cannot be sa- tisfied with any thing short of God. Nothing in heaven or earth is capable of affording real bliss without him,
I have spent three months this last winter with my sister at C. My religious privileges have been more extensive than usual. I have been favoured with frequent opportunities of hearing Dr. G. preach, and have likewise attended many serious meetings. But I still wanted a heart to improve under the cul- tivation of Jehovah's hand. Neither afflictions nor enjoyments will do us good, unless sanctified by di- vine grace.
Since my return to H.,I have sometimes enjoyed much consolation in committing myself and all my concerns into the hands of God. Some circum-
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stances, which at some future time I may commu- nicate to you, I hope will have a tendency to wean me from this world, and fasten my heart to heaven. I do, my dear friend, find this ' a desert world, re- plete with sin and sorrow.' I often long to leave it, and find a sweet release from every woe.
I visited Miss F., at Boston, often. H. returned from H. about three weeks since; she observed, she intended writing to your sister N.
I have not read the book mentioned in your last, but confide in your judgment : think it must be en- tertaining.
I hcpe to have the pleasure of a visit from you this summer; I wish much to see you and your sister ; hope you are both enjoying the light of the Sun of righteousness. Persevere, my friend, in the Christian life, and pray for your friend Harriet. Our pilgrimage will shortly be ended, and all the trials of life will be over. Oh, may we meet in heaven; and join with the angelic host around the throne, in adoring the matchless perfections of Im- manuel, through the ages of eternity ! 1 am, my dear Miss \V., affectionately yours, HARRIET.
TO MISS M. S., OF BOSTON.
Haverhill, Sabbath eve, Maj :sil. "While agitated with doubts and conflicts, with the gay world in opposition, it has afforded me much consolation to think I have a friend in M., who can feel my sorrows, and sympathize with me in grief. I have passed through many interesting and so- lemn scenes, since I last saw you. Returning to Haverhill, I found my dear mammacalm and com- posed. So completely was she filled with a sense of the shortness of time, the uncertainty of life, and the duty of giving up our dearest comforts to the Lord, that she never raised one objection, but wish- ed me to act according as my conscience directed. I felt an unspeakable consolation in committing the
MRS. NEWELL. 65
disposal of this event to God. I thought I could willingly renounce rny own opinion, and, sitting at the feet of Jesus, be guided entirely by him. Mr. N. has visited us frequently. He wishes not to influ- ence me ; he would not if he could.
And now, my dear M., what will you say to me, when I tell you that I do think, seriously think, of quitting my native land for ever, and of going to a far distant country, ' not knowing the things which shall befal me there.' Should I refuse to make this sacrifice, refuse to lend my little aid in the pro- mulgation of the gospel among the heathen, how could I ever expect to enjoy the blessing of God, and peace of conscience, though surrounded with every temporal mercy? It would be pleasant to spend the remaining part of my life with my friends, and to have them surround my dying bed. But no ! I must relinquish their society, and follow God to a land of strangers, where millions of my fellow- sinners are perishing for lack of vision. I have professed, my friend, for these two years past, to derive comfort only from God. Here then, is a con- soling reflection; the ever-blessed Jesus is able to support and comfort me, as well in the sultry climes of India, as in my dear native land. I trust that he will make his promise good, that as my days are, so shall my strength be. The wintry storms of life will soon be over, and if I have committed my im- mortal interest into the hands of God, I shall shortly find a sweet release from every woe. So visibly have I beheld the hand of Providence in removing some obstacles which once I thought almost insur- mountable, that I dare not object. All my friends with whom I have conversed since my return to Haverhill, advise me to go. Some Christians who were formerly opposed, after obtaining a more ex- tensive knowledge of the subject, think females would be useful. The people of this world probably view this subject as they do others. Those who have never felt the worth of their own souls, ac- E
C6 MEMOIRS OF
count it superstition and hypocritical zeal, for Chris- tians to sacrifice their earthly pleasures for the sake of telling the heathen world of a Saviour. But all the ridicule that the gay and thoughtless sinner can invent, will not essentially injure me. If I am ac- tuated by love to the Saviour and his cause, nothing in earth or hell can hurt me. I must ask your prayers for me. We have prayed together; Oh, let us now, though separated in person, unite at the throne of grace. Perhaps my view of this subject may be altered, and God may yet prepare a way for me to continue in America. Oh, that I might be submissive and humbly wait on God ! He can direct me at this eventful crisis, and glorify himself. Affectionately yours, ~ Harriet.
TO MISS S. H , OF NEWBURY.
Haverhill, June 12, 1SH. How shall I sufficiently thank my dear Miss H. for the kind token of affectionate remembrance, •which she was kind enough to send me? Your letter really exhilarated my languid spirits. I had spent the evening in private conversation with our clear Mr. X. The usual subject of the contemplated Mis- sion was renewedly talked over, and consequently the dangers, the crosses, and the manifold trials of such an important undertaking, were themes which engrossed our thoughts. Depressed with anxious apprehensions, and in doubt respecting duty, Mrs. G. handed me a letter, and the well known hand of the writer I soon recognized. The contents dispelled many a heart-rending sigh. This eve, mamma re- ceived a letter from dear brother J.; I had previ- ously written to him. Dear boy! he is much dis- tressed for Harriet. He thinks she is doing wrong, and causing her friends needless anxiety. Would to heaven I could prevent distress from ever enter- ing the heart of a widowed beloved parent, and the dearest brothers and sisters! Oh, Miss H., could
MRS. NEWELL. 67
these dear friends but go with me to distant India —but alas ! that is a fruitless wish ; but were it pos- sible that this could be the case, I think I could quit America without reluctance, and even rejoice to spend my life among the benighted heathen. Some- times I can reflect on this subject with composure, and even long to be on missionary ground, where superstition and idolatry usurp the sway ; think I can bid my dear friends a last farewell with calm- ness, and follow with delight the leadings of Pro- vidence. But at other times I fear this is not the situation God has designed for me ; and if it is not, I can never lay claim to the promises of the gospel, nor expect the support of an Almighty arm, when dangers stand thick around me. My greatest fear is, that I shall lose all courage and perseverance should I set out to go, and not only be unhappy myself, but make those wretched who are with me. But are not these thoughts criminal when carried to excess? Ought I not to praise the Lord for what I have received, and trust him for a supply of grace? Ought I not to examine the subject prayerfully, and if on examination I am convinced that Jesus calls me to make these great sacrifices, ought I not to do it voluntarily, and leave the event with the Ruler of the universe?
I find, my dear Miss H., that I am now in great danger of being actuated by a strong attachment. Oh, could I but give the ever-blessed God the first place in my affection, I should not be in danger of being misled by earthly objects. Often have I adopted the words of the pious Mr. Newton — The dearest idol 1 have known,
Whate'er that idol be, Help me to tear it from thy throne,
And worship only thee.
When shall we hope for a visit from you? Do write me often, your letters will always be accept- able. Although tired and fatigued with the em- ployments of the day, I have improved this late hour ia writing.
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Do you not admire Mr. Hal) ? I heard him preach a preparatory sermon at Bradford last week ; which was clear, distinguishing, and very excellent. He called here one morning, but I had gone to walk. Mr. Nott likewise called on us last week ; we were in the meeting-house, and did not see him. Our friend Ni is still in Salem ; I long to see her.
Can I ask the favour of being remembered in your intercessions at the throne of grace ? Oh, that Chris- tians would pray for me. Farewell, my dear Miss H. May the choicest blessings of Heaven be yours. I am affectionately yours, Harriet.
I had forgotten to tell you that our dear Mr. W. called here again, and I did not see him. Do you think I ever shall?
1811.
June22. I have this day taken my leave of Mr. N. not expecting to see him again for nine months, I can hardly feel reconciled to his departure; but the will of the Lord be done. Taking every circum- stance into consideration, I am fully persuaded it will be most for his interest to spend the summer and winter in Philadelphia. Why then should I object ?
June 27. It is now almost five 3Tears since my mind became seriously impressed with eternal re- alities. What have I learnt in these five years cf myself? and what of God? Weep, O my soul, for past transgression, and present unfruitfulness.
TO MISS C. F., OF BOSTON.
Haverhill, June 29, ish. I THAN K you, dear C, for your affectionate letter. My engagements have been such, that I could not conveniently answer it before; hope you will par- don the neglect. The kind interest you have of late taken in my happiness, has greatly endeared you to
MRS. NEWELL. 69
my heart. May you never want a friend to sympa- thize with you when 'adverse fortune frowns/ or to rejoice with you, when « life's vale is strewed with flowerets fresh.' If the remaining days of my short pilgrimage are to be spent in sorrow, O that Heaven would grant C. peace and happiness and a sure pledge of joys to come. Where my future lot may be cast, time only can determine. If I can but maintain a firm and unshaken confidence in God, a humble reliance on his blessed promises, I shall be safe, though temporal comforts languish and die. I am now calculating upon a life of trials and hard- ships ; but the grace of Jesus is sufficient for me. The Friend of sinners is able and willing to support me amid scenes of danger and distress.
When I bade you a parting adieu, my mind was in a state of agitation which I can never express. Dejected and weary I arrived at the dear mansion, where I have spent so many pleasant hours. My dear mamma met me at the door, with a counte- nance that bespoke the tranquillity of her mind. The storm of opposition, as sne observed, had blown over, and she was brought to say from the heart, * Tby will be done.' Yes, C, she had committed her cbild to God's parental care ; and though her affec- tion was not lessened, yet, with tears in her eyes, she said, 'If a conviction of duty and love to the souls of the perishing heathen lead you to India, as much as I love you, Harriet, I can only say, Go.' Here I was left to decide the all-imporUmt question.' Many were the conflicts within my breast. But, at length, from a firm persuasion of duty , and a willing- ness to comply, after much examination and prayer, I answered in the affirmative.
I wish to tell you all the motives that have ac- tuated me to come to this determination ; likewise, how all the difficulties, which applied to me parti- cularly, have been removed. Hut this I cannot do until I see you. Why cannot you make it con- venient to spend three or four weeks with me this
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summer? To assure you that it -would afford mc happiness, would be but what you already know. Write to me C. next week, if possible. Let me know when I may expect you, and I will be at home. Perhaps we may go and spend a day or two with our friends in N. I am very lonely. N. H. has been visiting at S. ever since I returned from C. Mr. Newell has gone to Philadelphia, where he expects to continue until a short time before he quits his native country. He is engaged in the study of physic, together with Mr. Hall. How has your mind been exercised of late? Are you living in the enjoyment of religion? C. we must live nearer to God; we must be more engaged in his cause. We are under the most solemn obligations to be active in the Redeemer's service. Let us not calculate upon a life of idleness and ease ; this is not the portion of the followers of the Lamb. They must expect tribulations and crosses in their way to the kingdom of heaven. But let us ever remem- ber that if we are the believing children of God, a rest awaits us in heaven, which will doubly com- pensate us for all the troubles of this life.
When interceding at the mercy-seat, Oh forget not C. to pray for the salvation of the benighted heathen, whose souls are as precious as our own. With them, remember your friend Harriet.
1811. June 30. Mr. D. preached from this text, ' And as he drew nigh to the city, he wept over it, saying/ &c. My whole soul was melted into compassion for impenitent sinners. Can I ever again feel re- gardless and unconcerned for their immortal souls ?
Did Christ for sinners weep, And shall our cheeks be dry ? Let floods of penitential grief, Burst forth from every eye.
Did Jesus say to sinners, * Oh that thou hadst known in this thy day, the things that belong to
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thy peace/ &c, and shall I smile upon them, while in the road to ruin ?
July 15. The long expected letter has at length arrived. How can I wish for a friend more worthy of my love, more deserving of my heart? But my heart is already his. A friend, how rich the trea- sure ! If an earthly friend is thus dear to my heart, how strong should be my attachment to a holy God, whose friendship to his children is lasting as eter- nity ! How can I love him sufficiently? How can I take too much delight in honouring him before the world, and in promoting his cause?
July 23. I have just read a little passage in Thomson's Seasons, which I thought I could adopt as my own language :
Should fate command me to the farthest verge Of the green earth, to distant barb'rous climes, Rivers unknown to song ; where lirst the sun Giids Indian mountains, or his setting beam Flames to the Atlantic Isles ; 'tis nought to me Since God is ever present — ever felt, In the void waste, as in the city full ; And where he vital breathes, there must be joy.
EXTRACTS FROM A LETTER TO HER SISTER M.r AT CHARLESTOVVN.
August 1, 1811.
'SHOULD I tell you there is a prospect of
my spending the remaining part of this short life in a land of strangers ; should I tell you I Jo seri- ously think of leaving my native dwelling, my friends and companions for ever ; would you upbraid me? Could you attribute it to want of attachment to the friends of my youth, or to entire ignorance of this great undertaking? You would not, you could not, did you know the conflict which almost rends my heart. Never before did my dear mamma, brothers, and sisters, appear so dear to me. But God commands me ! In his holy providence he now offers me an opportunity of visiting the heathen. While many of my female friends, who are far
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more adequate to the important employment, are permitted to enjoy the society of their earthly relatives through life, I am called to quit the scenes of my childhood, and go to a far distant country. How can I ever pray for the promotion of the gos- pel among the heathen, if I am unwilling to offer my little aid when such an opportunity is given? I know what to expect from a gay and thoughtless ■world. But I have this consolation, that ridicule cannot injure my soul. In the eternal world, how trifling will it appear! That some professing Chris- tians oppose it, will cause me many unhappy feel- ings. But I must think, that were they to view the suhject impartially, divesting themselves of the love of worldly ease, they would favour it. With my present feelings, I would not oppose it for all this earth can afford ; lest I should be found fight- ing against God, discouraging missions and pre- venting the gospel's being spread among the heathen.
'I have this consolation, if the motives by which I am actuated are sincere and good, God will accept the inclination to glorify him, even though I should not be made useful. But my dear sister, this is a trying season! It is from God alone that I derive the least sensible comfort. This world has lost its power to charm, and all'its applause is a trifle, light as air. My companions are perhaps accusing me of super- stition, and the love of novelty. But God alon2 knows the motives by which I am actuated, and he alone will be my final Judge. Let me but form such a decision as he will approve, and I ask no more. AVillingly will I let go my eager grasp of the things of time and sense, and flee to Jesus. Oh that he would prepare me for the future events of life, and glorify himself in the disposal of my concerns!'
1811. Aug. 7. 1 havf. just laid down Home on Missions. How did his pious heart glow with benevolence to
MRS. NEWELL. 73
his fellow-creatures ! How ardently did he wish for the promulgation of the gospel among the benighted heathen! I think, for a moment, I partake of his ardour, and long to hear that the standard of the cross is set up in the distant nations of the earth.
Yes, Christian heroes ! go — proclaim Salvation through Iramanuel's name: To India's clime the tidings bear, And plant the rose of Sharon there.
Willingly would I sacrifice the dearest earthly friend to engage in this blessed service. Oh, that I had a thousand pious relatives, well calculated for the important station of missionaries; the tenderest ties, that bind me to them, should be rent. I would say to them, go— and let the destitute millions of Asia and Africa know, there is compassion in the hearts of Christians ; tell them of the love of Jesus, and the road to bliss on high. Providence now gives me an opportunity to go myself to the heathen. Shall I refuse the offer? shall I love the glittering toys of this dying world so well, that I cannot relin- quish them for God? Forbid it, Heaven ! Yes, I will go — however weak and unqualified I am, there is an all-sufficient Saviour ready to support me. In God alone is my hope. I will trust his promises, and consider it one of the highest privileges that would be conferred upon me, to be permitted to engage in his glorious service, among the wretched inhabi- tants of Hindostan.
Aug. 11. How reviving to my disconsolate mind, has been the word of life this day ! Oh, this ador- able plan of salvation ! Have I the least inclination to alter one single part of it, if I could ? O no ! I would not be less holy— -I would not wish God to exact less perfect obedience from his creatures.
Mr. R. drank tea with us. I felt the same back- wardness in conversing upon the things of the king- dom, that I usually do. Whence this criminal dif- fidence? Oh, when will divine grace so absorb my heart, that my stammering tongue shall be loosed,
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and Jesus and his salvation be my theme ! If I can- not unite in conversing to believers in aland where religion flourishes, how can I speak to the benighted heathen of India, whose minds are involved in pagan darkness?
TO MISS Iff. S., OF BOSTON.
Ha-verhill, Sabbath, Aug. 21, 1811. How great, my dear M., would be the pleasure, could I retreat with you to some lonely corner, far from the busy haunts of this vain world, and un- bosom to you the secrets of my heart, instead of writing to you. But this dear privilege is denied me. I must be content with expressing a few un- connected thoughts on paper for the present, and will anticipate a happy meeting with you on earth, and a still happier one in those regions, where the friends of Immanuel will never more be separated. What if our intercourse on earth should cease ? If we are the followers of the Lamb, our prayers will unitedly ascend to the same blessed throne while we live ; and when our pilgrimage is ended, our friendship will exist and flourish for ever. M. we are pilgrims, we are strangers in a barren land. This world is not our portion; it is incapable of satisfying our desires. The glittering toys of life are not calculated to afford real enjoyment. There is nothing in heaven or earth, but God, that can delight our hearts, and ease us of the heavy load of sin. Let us not be satisfied with the low and gro- velling pursuits of time ; but let us look to the un- changeable Jehovah, for a supply of his soul- refreshing grace. How much has God done for us individually ? He has, as we humbly trust, made us partakers of his grace, and redeemed us from eternal death. What shall we render to him for this abundant mercy? Oh, let our future lives evince our gratitude, and let our praises unceasingly flow to his throne ! Dear M. I feel as though I had
MRS. NEWELL. 75
done nothing for God. Where are the last five years of my wretched life ? Can they witness to my exertions in the cause of the Lord? ' I think of the days of other years, and my soul is sad/ All is a barren waste. A few heartless duties and cold for- malities, will never carry me to heaven.
Sabbath eve. This day, my dear M., I have been highly privileged. I have heard three sermons preached by the excellent Mr. R. How sweet is the gospel to the heart of the believer ! How does the pure word of truth animate the desponding sinner, and encourage him to apply to the Lamb of God for pardon and sanctification ! But this glori- ous gospel, which reveals to mortals the way of salvation, the far greater part of the inhabitants of the earth are deprived of. ' Where there is no vision the people perish/ Thousands of immortal souls are entering eternity, and peopling the dark realms of woe. If our souls are of greater impor- tance than this world, with all its boasted treasures, how can we calculate the worth of those millions of souls, which are equally as precious as our own? We have had the Bible in our hands from our childhood; we are instructed regularly from this precious volume, every sabbath. We have believ- ing friends to associate with ; we enjoy the stated ordinances of the gospel. But the'dear heathen have no such privileges. They are destitute of Bibles, sabbaths, and churches. The inhabitants of Hin- dostan, to atone for their sins, will submit to the most cruel tortures imaginable. Widows consent to be burned with their deceased husbands ; parents sacrifice their infant offspring to appease the anger of their idol gods , they cast them into the river Gauges, where they perish. But this deadful super- stition vanishes before the benignant rays of the gospel, as the morning dew before therising sun. We enjoy its meridian splendours. Have we any benevo- lence ? Are we susceptible of feeling for the distresses of our fellow-creatures ? As we value the salvation
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uhich a Saviour offers ; as we value his tears, his labours, and his death, let us now seriously ask what we shall do for the salvation of the benighted heathen I If we are not permitted to visit them ourselves, and declare to them the efficacy of a Saviour's blood, yet we can ardently pray for them. And not only pray for them, but by our vigorous exertions we can awaken a missionary spirit in others, and excite them also to feel for those who are perishing in pagan darkness. M.the subject is copious indeed. I might easily write till the rising sun, and then not give you a perfect delineation of the wretchedness of many of our fellow-creatures. But I must leave these forlorn wretches. Suffice it to say, that when the whole universe shall stand collected at the bar of God, we shall meet them, and there render a solemn account for the manner with which we have conducted ourselves towards them in this world. I hope, my dear ML, you are living near to God, and enjoying times of refresh- ing from his presence. Oh pray often, and remem- ber me in your prayers. Should stormy oceans roll between us, yet I shall ever continue to love you. Farewell, my dear M. Your affectionate
Harriet.
EXTRACTS FROM A LETTER TO HER SISTER M., AT CHARLESTOWN.
Aug. 1811.
' A FEW moments this morning shall be spent in writing to my dear sister. Accept my hearty con- gratulations for your returning health. I often think of you, and imagine you possessed of every comfort which can render life desirable. I have been con- trasting your present delightful situation with the trying one that is probably to be mine. Although I could shed floods of tears at the idea of bidding a final farewell to the dear associates of my youth, and the guardian and instructor of my early years j
MRS. NEWELL. 77
yet a consciousness that this is the path marked out for me by my heavenly Father, and an assurance that the cause I have engaged in is a blessed one, impart at times an indescribable pleasure. If some unforeseen occurrence should prevent my going to the East Indies, I shall still enjoy the satisfaction of thinking that this also is ordered by God. Should I never go, Oh may I never forget the wretched in- habitants of Hindostan, nor cease to pray that they may enjoy the blessings of the gospel.'
Harriet Atvvood.
1811.
Aug. 13. How consoling has been the beloved promise, when sinking under the contemplated difficulties of a missionary life, ' My grace is suffi- cient for thee/ Have I any thing but an unfaith- ful depraved heart to discourage me, in this great undertaking? Here the Almighty God, the Maker of all worlds, the infinite Disposer of all events, has pledged his word for the safety of his believing children. Sooner willthe universe sink into nothing, than God fail of performing his promises. The cause is good, the foundation is sure. If the Sa- viour has promised a sufficiency of his grace, what have I to fear ? Oh that I had a stronger confidence in God — a heart to rely on him for grace to help in every time of need ! When I reach my journey's end, how trifling will earthly sorrows appear!
Aug. 14. This is indeed a wretched world. How few the joys ! how many and various the sorrows of life ! Well, if this world is unsatisfying, ' if cares and woes promiscuous grow,' how great the conso- lation, that I shall soon leave it !
Locse, then, from earth, the grasp of fond desire, Weigh anchor, and the happier climes explore.
In the Paradise of God, every rising wish that swells the heart of the celestial inhabitant, is im- mediately gratified. Oh for a dismission from this clayey tabernacle ! Oh for an entrance into those
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lovely mansions ! My soul pants for the full enjoy- ment of God. I cannot bear this little spirituality — this absurd indifference; I long to be swallowed up in endless fruition !
Aug. 15. A letter from my friend Mr. Newell. He appears much impressed with eternal concerns. May he enjoy the light of Immanuel's countenance ! Have just heard of Mr. J/s arrival, and that he ex- pects soon to set out for India. This unexpected news solemnized my mind. A consciousness of my unpreparedness for this arduous undertaking, makes me tremble. But I will give myself to God j ' 'tis all that I can do/
Aug. 19. Conscious that the riches and honours of this world will not be mine, my deceitful heart often promises happiness in the society of a dear friend. But how vain this hope ! Oh, let me from this hour cease from anticipating creature happiness. Oh that I could look to God alone for permanent satisfaction !
Dear Saviour, let thy beauties be
My soul's eternal food ; And srace command my heart away
From all created good.
Aug. 20. How strong is Christian friendship ! He who enjoined it upon his followers, to love God, has likewise commanded them to love one another. If I am a stranger to the joys of pardoning mercy ; if I am an enemy to holiness •, whence arises this union with Christians? What has produced this love to those who resemble God ? Formerly I preferred the friendship and society of those, whose hearts were at enmity with God ; who disliked the sublime and humbling doctrines of the gospel ; but now I can say with Ruth, 'Thy people shall be my people/ My soul is cemented to them ; and if I am not greatly deceived, my affection is the strongest for those who live nearest to God, and are most concerned for his glory. I love the most abject creature in existence, however despised by the wise men of this world,
MRS. NEWELL. 79
who bears the image of the lowly Jesus, Yes ; how could I rejoice to give the endearing appellation of brother or sister, to one of the tawny natives of the East, whom grace had subdued.
Aug. 22. Sweet is the name of Immanuel to be- lievers. That name speaks peace and consolation to their troubled minds. In him they tind a balm for every woe.
Jesus to multitudes unknown,
Oh name divinely sweet ! Jesus in thee, in thee alone,
Wealth, honour, pleasure meet.
Should both the Indies, at my call,
Their boasted stores resign ; With joy, 1 would renounce them all,
For leave to call thee mine.
Should earth's vain treasures all depart,
Of this dear gilt possess'd, I'd clasp it to my joyful heart,
And be for ever bless'd.
Is this the language of my heart? Am I willing to relinquish the pleasure, the honours, the riches, and the applause of the world, for leave to call Im- manuel mine ? If so, I may enjoy exalted happiness in a land of strangers.
TO MISS H. B., OF SALEM.
Haverhill, Aug. 23,1811. INDUCED by the repeated solicitations of your sister S. I have retired to my chamber, determined to devote a leisure hour, in renewing a correspon- dence, which has for a long time been entirely re- linquished. The attachments which I formed in the earlier part of my life, have of late been greatly strengthened. Those companions, in whose society * the longest summer days seemed too much in haste/ have become exceedingly dear to my heart. You, my H., were one of the choicest and most loved members of the dear familiar circle. Did pensive melancholy for a moment assume the place
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of mirtn and gaiety in my mind, you were imme- diately acquainted with the cause. Did my youth- ful heart beat with joy, if you were a partner, joy was heightened. But particularly dear did the ap- pellation of friend appear, when we were unitedly depressed with a sense of the divine displeasure, and when our souls, as we then thought, were irra- diated with the light of truth, and washed in the peace-speaking blood of Immanuel. Should our lives be spared, very different will probably be our future destinies. Blest with those beloved friends, whose sympathy alleviates every grief, whese so- ciety contributes so largely to your happiness, and indulged, not only with a competency, but with affluence and ease, you may glide along through this world, almost a stranger to the ills attendant on mortals. But these joys remain not for me. Destined to a far distant land, my affectionate friends, my pleasant home, my much loved country, I must leave for ever. Instead of the soft delights and elegancies of life — self-denials, hardships, pri- vations, and sorrows will be mine. Instead of the improved and polished society of Haverhill asso- ciates, will be substituted the society of the uncivi- lized Hindoos. Instead of being enlivened by the cheering voice of a believing friend, I shall behold thousands prostrating themselvesbefore dumb idols, while the air will ring with the horrid sounds of idol music. No churches will be found for the re- freshment of weary pilgrims ; no joyful assemblies where saints can resort to unite in the reviving ex- ercises of social worship. All will be dark, every thing will be dreary, and not a hope of worldly happiness will be for a moment indulged. The prime of life will be spent in an unhealthy country, a burning region, amongst a people of strange lan- guage, at a returnless distance from my native land, where I shall never more behold the friends of my youth. Amid these discouragements, I often find my sinking heart despondingr But this is not all.
MRS. NEWELL. 81
Even while blest with an habitation in my own country, I hear some of those friends, whom I fondly love, accusing me of the love of novelty, of an invincible attachment to a fellow-creature, of superstition, and of wanting a great name. Wretch- ed, indeed, will be my future lot, if these motives bear sway in my determination. Surrounded by so many discouragements, I find consolation only in God ! ' None of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto me.' A consciousness that this is the path, which my heavenly Father hath selected for me, and an ardent desire for the salvation of the benighted heathen, constrains me to cry, Here am I, Lord, send me where thou wilt. Daily experience convinces me that the glittering toys of life are not capable of conferring real hap- piness. With my present feelings, I may enjoy as much happiness in India as in America. But my great consolation is that life is short. However great may be my trials, they will be soon over. H. I feel that this is a wretched world. It is nearly six years since, I humbly trust, I committed my all to God, willing that he should dispose of me, as He saw best. He has given me friends; he has given me many earthly comforts; but he is now appoint- ing me trials, greater than I yet have known. But I think I can say, * It is well.' Give me but hum- ble resignation to thy will, Oh my God, and I ask no more. The presence of Immanuel will make a mud-walled cottage, a foreign land, and savage as- sociates, desirable. What but the light of the Re- deemer's countenance can make me happy here 1 and what but that can delight my soul, in a far dis- tant country ?
For me remains no time, nor space, My country is in every place; I can be calm and free from care On any shore,— since God is there.
It seems a long time since we had the pleasure of seeing you at Haverhill. Your time, undoubtedly, F
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passes away very pleasantly in Salem. May your happiness be constantly increasing at the return of each succeeding year. May you have that peace of mind, that heart-felt joy, which is known only by the decided followers of Jesus. This is pleasure that knows no alloy, and which death can never deprive you of. May I meet you with all my dear friends, in that world, where a wide sea can never separate us. I hope to spend many happy hours with you before I bid you a final farewell. I am affectionately yours, HARRIET.
1811.
Aug. 25. WITH the light of this holy morning, I desire to make a solemn surrender of myself to God, humbly requesting him to accept the worth- less offering. I think 1 can say with Mr. Newton,
Day of all the week the best, EmoU'in ol eternal rest.
Aug. 26. AVhat word can be more expressive aud weighty than ETERNITY? How replete with events, that deeply interest every intelligent crea- ture! How full of ideas too big for utterance ! And can ETERNITY be mine? If the word of Jehovah be true, I shall surely inhabit Eternity, when this short life is ended. Yes ; I feel that I have an im- mortal pari, which will continue the same when time and nature fail. And shall it exist in glory? Oh, let me fly to Jesus, and make his arms my resting place. Then shall I rest securely, when the heavens are rolled together as a scroll, and the elements melt with fervent heat.
Sept. 1. Again have I been favoured with the blessed privilege of communing with God at his table. How sweetly calculated are these gospel ordinances to enliven the cold hearts of believers, and to prepare them for the marriage supper of the Lamb. I have renewedly given myself away to God, in the presence of the holy angels, of the as- sembly which convened at the house of prayer, and
MRS. NEWELL. 83
of that Being whosepresence fills immensity ; whoso smile gives hope, whose frown, despair. How so- lemn the transaction ! — Far from the happy land, where salvation is proclaimed, my thoughts have wandered over stormy seas, to regions whose in- habitants are sitting in the shadow of death. No light of divine revelation beams on them. No sanctuaries — no communion tables — no bread and wine to remind them that a Saviour shed his blood on Calvary for them I Weep, O my soul, for the for- lorn heathen. Be astonished at the stupidity of Christians, be astonished at thine own. Oh, thou blessed Redeemer, thou who didst commission thy disciples of old to preach the gospel to every crea- ture, wilt thou send forth labourers, make the wil- derness a fruitful field, and cause the desert to blos- som like the rose!
Sept. 3. I'm but a stranger and a pilgrim here,
In these wild regions, wandering- and forlorn, Restless and sighing- for my native home, Longing to reach my weary space of iii'e, And to fulfil my task.
Yes, my Redeemer; I know by experience, that this life is a tiresome round of vanities hourly re- peated. All is empty. My thirsty soul longs for the enjoyment of God in heaven, where the weary and heavy laden find rest. How long, Oh, ray Fa- ther, shall 1 wander in this dreary land ? When shall I bid a final adieu to these scenes of guilt !
Oil, haste the hour of joy and sweet repose. How refreshing will heavenly rest be to my soul, after a life of toil and hardship !
Sept. 7. ' Bless the Lord, O my soul, and for- get not all his benefits.' Yes; I will bless and praise ■ thy name, my God, my king, my everlasting all. I will bless thee for temporal, I will bless thee for spiritual favours. Thou hast ever been loading me with thy benefits. ' The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall 1 fear? The Lord is the strength of my life ; of whom shall I be afraid ?
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Lord, by thy favour thou hast made my mountain to stand strong. I will extol thee, for thou hast lifted me up ; and hast not made my foes to rejoice over me. Thou hast brought up my soul from the grave, thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit. Sing unto the Lord, O ye saints of his ; and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness : for his anger endureth but for a moment ; in his favour is life ; weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.'
Sept. 10. Depressed with guilt, and tired with the vanities of this world, I have retired to my chamber, to seek pleasure within. When blest with a sense of Immanuel's love, I find satisfaction in writing, conversing, and thinking on divine things j but when Jesus frowns, all is midnight darkness. No duties, no domestic employments, no earthly pleasures can charm or delight my mind.
Sept. 12. The time is short, I soon shall rise, And bid farewell to weeping eves, And reach the heavenly shore."
I have attempted thismorning, to bring India, with the parting scenes between, near at hand. Surely, nothing but the sovereign power of God could have led me to contemplate,with serenity and composure, the painful scenes of a missionary life ; and no- thing but his grace will support me, when farewells are sounding around me. Oh, how can I think of that hour ! But it is a glorious work, for which i am making these great sacrifices : it is nothing less than to assist in spreading the triumphs of the cross in foreign lands. Oh, could I become the in- strument of bringing one degraded female to Jesus, how should I be repaid for every tear and every pain! To make a female Indian acquainted with the way of life, Oh, what a blessing ! — my soul exults at the thought !
Sept. 17. How sweet is this text,' Be careful for nothing; but in every thing, by prayer and suppli- cation let your requests be made known unto God.*
MRS. NEWELL. 85
When the difficulties of my future life depress me, how often am I insensibly relieved and comforted by this and similar invitations. How precious, how exceedingly valuable is the word of God !
Sept. 20. Life like an empty vapour flies. Soon will my mortal state be ended. The objects which now occupy so large a portion of my thoughts, will shortly lose their importance, and vanish as though I saw them not. Vanity is stamped on every earthly enjoyment. But pleasure without the least alloy will be found in heaven.
TO A FRIEND.
Haverhill, Sept. 1811. FORGIVE, my dear M., the liberty I take in ad- dressing you in this manner. From my first ac- quaintance with you, I have felt deeply interested for your happiness. Nothing but an affectionate regard for you, would induce me to write to you on a subject which the world will undoubtedly ridicule, but which engages the attention and constitutes the felicity of the holy inhabitants of heaven. This subject is the religion of the gospel — a subject which is infinitely interesting to us both. You have of late witnessed a scene, trying indeed, and solemn as eternity. You have watched the sick-bed, you have heard the expiring groans of your beloved sister. You fondly hope that she was interested in the covenant of redemption, and is now perfectly happy in the enjoyment of her God in heaven. When standing by the dying bed of this dear sister, say, my friend, did you not ardently wish for piety similar to hers ; for that faith which could triumph over the horrors of a dying hour? Was the hope then cherished that you should meet her in yonder world, when the trials of this short life are over? And did this hope support your sinking spirits in the trying hour of separation? She is gone for ever; but we are still prisoners of hope. Could we now draw back
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the covering of the tomh, and listen to her lan- guage, how earnestly would she beseech us to become reconciled to God, and devote our lives wholly to his service. My dear M., these are not idle dreams. If we reflect for a moment, we feel conscious that there is an immortal principle with- in, which will exist when time and nature die. This principle is corrupted by sin, and without the sanctifying grace of God, we should be unhappy, even though admitted to heaven. Do but examine the feelings of your heart one hour, and you can- not for a moment doubt the truth of this assertion. How important then that we should have this work of grace begun in our hearts, before it is too late. * Now is the accepted time, now is the day of sal- vation/ To-morrow our probation may be closed, and we may be irrecoverably lost. M., my heart is full. What inducements can I offer you to re- ceive Jesus into your heart, and willingly sacrifice your all for him ? Oh ! think of the worth of the soul, the price paid to redeem it, the love of Im- manuel,your obligations to live to him, the joys prepared for the righteous; — and Oh, think of the torments in reserve for the finally impenitent, and be induced to flee from the wrath to come. If nothing in Providence prevents, before the return of another autumn, Harriet will be a stranger in a strange land. I go, my friend, where heathens dwell, far from the companions of my playful years, far from the dear land of my nativity. My contemplated residence will be, not among the re- fined and cultivated, but among females degraded and uncivilized, who have never heard of the religion of Jesus. How would it gladden my sad heart, in the trying hour of my departure, could I but leave a dear circle of females of my own age, engaged for God, and eminent for their usefulness in Haverhill. Well, I hope to find a circle of Hindoo sisters in India, interested in that religion which many of my companions reject, though blest with innumerable privileges. But my friend M.
MRS. NEWELL. 87
will not treat with indifference this religion. O no! I will cherish the fond hope, that she will re- nounce the world, become a follower of Immanuel, and be unwearied in her exertions to spread the triumphs of the cross through the world. I must leave you, my dear M., with God. May you become a living witness for him ! When our jour- ney through this barren wilderness is ended, may we meet in heaven! Harriet.
1811.
Oct. 10. I HAVE this day entered upon my nine- teenth year. Oh, how great the goodness of God, which has followed me through the last twelve months! And shall I be wholly destitute of gra- titude? Oh, no ! let me this year, if my life should be spared, become a living witness for the truth, as it is in Jesus. How great a change has the last year made in my views and prospects for life '. Another year will probably effect, not merely my prospects, but my situation. Should my expectations be realized, my dwelling will be far from the dear land of my nativity, and from beloved friends, whose society rendered the morning of my life cheerful and serene. In distant India, every earthly prospect will be dreary.
But even there, content can spread a charm, Redress the clime, and all its rage disarm.
Oct. 13. How important is it, that I should be in a peculiar manner devoted to God, and dead to the world. I shall need a large supply of the graces of the gospel, and of the consolations of religion, to support me amid the numberless trials of a missionary life. When dangers stand thick around, and the. world is utterly incapable of af- fording me the least solid comfort — what will sus- tain me, but entire confidence in God, as my shield, my only sure defence? Oh, my Father! let a sense of thy love to my soul influence me to yield implicit obedien.ee to thy commands ; and
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•while this love is constraining me to walk in the path which thou hast selected for me, may thy „grace be sufficient for me — as my day is, so may my strength be.
■Oct. 20. Soon I hope— I feel, and am assured,
That I shall lay my head— my weary, aching head,
On its last rest; and on my lowly bed,
The grass green sod will riourish sweetly .^—
.The perusal of the life, letters, and poems of Henry Kiike White, has been productive of much satisfaction. While I have respected him for his learning and superior talents, I have ardently -wished for a share of that piety, 'which shone so •conspicuously in his life, and which rendered his character so interesting and lovely. His ' weary, aching head/ is now resting in the silent tomb. Henry sleeps, to wake no more; but his spirit, unconfined, is exploring the unseen world ! O that his example may affect my heart!
TO MISS S. H., ANDOVER.
Haverhill, Oct. 20, 1811.
WILL my dear Miss H. pardon this seeming ceg- -lect,when I assure her it has not been intentional 2 Did you but know how numerous have been my engagements since I left Andover, I feel confident that you would not indulge one hard thought. I have thought much of you, and have often longed to see you. The kindness you shewed me, while -with you, greatly endeared you to my heart. I hope I shall ever recollect with gratitude, the un- merited favours which you, Mr. and Mrs.W., and my other friends conferred upon me while in Andover.
This day has been spent in melancholy dejection and sorrow of heart. The trials of a missionary life, united with my entire unfitness for the under- taking, and the fear of being under the influence of improper motives, have produced distress. But
MRS. NEWELL. 89
the return of evening has dissipated the gloom, and I have been led to rejoice in God, and will- ingly to surrender my eternal all to him. O, my friend! is there not a balm in Gilead? Is there not an all-powerful Physician there ? Who can doubt of the abilities and willingness of Jesus, to lead his dear children along the green pastures, and beside the still waters ? His sacred presence will cause the sinking heart to rejoice, and diffuse gladness around. Rightly is he styled Immanuel. Let us fly immediately to this hiding-place — this covert from the storm and tempest. In Jesus we are safe, though earth and hell combine against us. What are the trials, what the agonies attendant on this -pilgrimage state ! In Jesus there is a fulness sufficient to supply our every want, healing for every wound, and a cordial for every fear.
With the deepest interest I have lately read Buchanan's Researches. You have probably read it. Has it not inspired you with an ardent mis- sionary spirit? Can it be possible that Christians, after perusing this invaluable book, can help feel- ing a deep concern for the salvation of the heathe^ and a strong desire for the promulgation of the gospel throughout the world? How precious, how exceedingly valuable is the word of God ! How consolatory to the believer, to hear those who were once prostrating themselves before dumb idols, now exclaim with eagerness, * We want not bread, we want not money, we want the word of God/ A famine FOR BIBLES — how sweet, and yet how painful the expression! Surely this will lead us to estimate our glorious privileges in this Christian land. Possessed of every means of learning the character of God, and the way of salvation by a Redeemer, how can we complain ? If ever the religion of the cross has excited within us holy desires, Oh, let us not forget the destitute millions of Asia. God will be inquired of by his people to do great things for the heathen world. How im-
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portunate then should we be at the throne of grace j and none ever cried to God in vain.
Dear Miss H., I could write an hour longer, but other engagements prevent. We long to see you; long to hear from you again. Do write us often. Mamma sends much love; intends writing you soon; thanks you for your last letter. Remember me affectionately to Dear Mr. and Mrs. W.; like- wise to Mr. L. and Mr. M. I am, dear Miss H., your affectionate Harriet.
1811.
Oct. 25. How strong are the ties of natural affec- tion! Will distance or time ever conquer the attach- ment which now unites my heart so closely to my mother, the dear guardian of my youth ; and to my beloved brothers and sisters? Oh no! though con- fined to a foreign country, where a parent's voice will no more gladden my melancholy heart, still shall that love, which is stronger than death, dwell within, and often waft a sincere prayer to heaven for blessings unnumbered upon her. Long shall remembrance dwell on scenes passed in the dear circle of Haverhill friends.
Nov. 4. It is midnight. My wavering mind would faiu dwell on some mournful subject. I weep ; then sing some melancholy air, to pass away the lingering moments. What would my dear mother say, to see her Harriet thus involved in gloom ? But why do I indulge these painful feelings! Is it because my Father is unkind, and will not hear a suppliant's cries ? Is he not willing to direct my wandering steps ; to guide my feet in the paths of peace ? Oh yes ; his ear is ever open to the prayer of the fatherless. Let me then go to him ; tell him all my griefs, and ask of him a calm and clear con- viction of duty.
Why sinks my weak desponding mind Wliy heaves iny »oiil, this heavy sigh > Can Sovereign goodoess be unkind, Am 1 not safe if God be nigh .'
MRS. NEWELL. 91
Nov. 10. The rising sun witnesses for my heavenly Father that he is good. Oh yes! his character is infinitely lovely — his attributes are perfect. I be- hold his goodness in the works of creation and pro- vidence. But the beauty of his character shines most conspicuously in the plan of salvation. In the Redeemer, beauty and worth are combined ; and shall my heart remain unaffected, amidst such an endless variety of witnesses of the glory of God ? Shall / be silent, for whom the Son of God, on Calvary, bled and died?
Here the diary, from which the foregoing extracts have been made, closes. But amid the various en- gagements, which occupied the time of Mrs. Newell, and the many interesting subjects of her contem- plation, she continued a frequent correspondence with her friends. The number of letters which she wrote, from the age of thirteen to her death, was remarkable.
TO MISS R. F., OF ANDOVER.
Haverhill, Nov. 10, J81I.
How shall I sufficiently thank my dear Miss F. for her affectionate communication, received a short time since by Mr. Judson ? This was a favour which I had long wished for, but which I had ever con- sidered an unmerited one.
I have this day visited the sanctuary of the Most High. While listening to the joyful sound of the gospel, my thoughts were insensibly led to the forlorn and destitute state of the heathen, who are unacquainted with Bibles, Churches, and Sabbaths. I thought of the glorious privileges, which the in- habitants of this my Christian country enjoy ; and the thought afforded indescribable pleasure. I re- flected on the many millions of Asia and Africa; and the reflection was full of anguish and sympathy. Oh, my friend/ when will the day dawn, and the day-star arise in pagan lands, where Moloch reigns, ! besmeared with blood of human sacrifice, and
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parents' tears.' Oh! -when will the religion of Jesus, which has irradiated our benighted souls, be pro- mulgated throughout the world? When will Chris- tians feel more concerned for the salvation of the heathen ; and when will the heralds of the gospel feei willing to sacrifice the soft delights and ele- gancies of life, and visit the far distant shores, where heathen strangers dwell? Oh ! when will those who have an interest at the mercy-seat, intercede for the wretched heathen !
But, my dear Miss F., though I sometimes feel deeply and tenderly interested for the heathen, and even "feel willing to contribute my little aid in the work of a mission; yet the trials of such a life often produce a melancholy dejection, which nothing but divine grace can remove. Often does my imagina- tion paint, in glowing colours, the last sad scene of my departure from the land of my nativity. A widowed mother's heart with anguish wrung, the tears of sorrow flowing from the eyes of brothers and sisters dear, while the last farewell is pro- nounced— this is a scene affecting indeed. But this is only the commencement of a life replete with trials. Should my life be protracted, my future residence will be far distant from my native country, in a land of strangers, who are unacquainted with the feelings of friendship and humanity.
But I will no longer dwell on these sad subjects. I will look to God ! from him is all my aid. He can support his children in the darkest hour, and cause their sinking hearts to rejoice. He has pledged his word, that his grace shall be sufficient for them, and that as their day is, so shall their strength be. How consoling the reflection, that we are in the hands of God ! He can do nothing wrong with us : but if we are members of his family, all things will continually work for our good. Trials will wean us from this alluring woild, and prepare us for that rest which is reserved for the righteous. And how sweet will that rest be, after a life of toil
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and suffering. Gh ! how does the anticipation of future bliss, sweeten the bitter cup of life. My friend, there is a world, beyond these rolling spheres, where adieus and farewells are unknown. There I hope to meet you with all the ransomed of Israel, and never more experience a painful sepa- ration.
The thoughts of such amazing bliss,
Should constant joys create.
H. A.
TO MISS F. W., OF BEVERLY.
Haverhill, Dec. 13, 1811. I HAVE long been wishing for a favourable oppor- tunity to return my thanks to my dear Miss W. for her affectionate letter received last June. A multi- plicity of avocations, which could not possibly be dispensed with, have deprived me of this pleasure till now. But though my friends have been neg- lected, they have not been forgotten. Oh no ! dear to my heart are the friends of Immanuel : particu- larly those with whom I have walked to the house of God in company, and with whom I have taken sweet counsel about the things which immediately concern Zion, the city of our God. These dear Christian friends, will retain alastingand affection- ate remembrance in my heart, even though stormy oceans should separate me from them. There is a world, my sister, beyond this mortal state, where souls, cemented in one common union, will dwell together, and never more be separated. Does not your heart burn within ycu, when in humble anti- cipation of future blessedness, you engage in the delightful service of your covenant Redeemer? When your spirit sinks within you, and all terres- trial objects lose their power to please, can you not say,
My journey here,
Though it be darksome, joyless, and forlorn, Is yet but short ; and soon my weary feet Shall greet the peaceful inn of lasting rest ; The tgihi of this short life wUl soon be over.
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Yes, my friend, we soon shall bid an eternal fare- well to this passing world, and if interested in the covenant, we shall find the rest which remaineth for the people of God. I thank you sincerely for the affectionate interest you have taken in my future prospect in life. I feel encouraged to hope that not only your good wishes, but fervent prayers will at- tend my contemplated undertaking. 1 know that the earnest supplications of the faithful will avail with God : plead then, my friend, with Jesus on my behalf. The path of duty is the only way to hap- piness. I love to tread the path which my Father points out for me, though it is replete with priva- tions and hardships. Who, my dear Miss W., that has felt the love of Jesus, the worth of souls, and the value of the gospel, would refuse to lend their little aid in propagating the religion of the cross among the wretched heathen, when presented with a favourable opportunity ! However great the dis- couragements attending a missionary life, yet Jesus has promised to be with those who enter upon it with a right disposition, even to the end of the world. When will the day dawn, and the day-star arise in heathen lands ? Oh ! when will the stand- ard of the cross be erected, and all nations hear of the glad tidings of salvation? When will the mil- lennial state commence, and the lands which have long lain in darkness, be irradiated by the calm sunshine of the gospel ? When will the populous regions of Asia and Africa, unite with this our Christian country in one general song of praise to God ? Though darkness and error now prevail, faith looks over these mountains, and beholds with trans- port, the dawning of the Sun of Righteousness, the reign of peace and love.
The clock strikes twelve; I must leave you, my friend, for tired nature requires repose. Pray oft<-n forme. Write me immediately upon receiving this hasty letter. Affectionately yours,
II VRRIET.
MRS. NEWELL, 95
TO MISS R. F., ANDOVER.
Haverhill, Dec. 29, 1SH. An hour this sacred evening, the commencement of another sabbath, shall be cordially devoted to my dear Miss F. Alone and pensive, how can the moments glide more pleasantly away, than in writ- ing to a friend whose name excites many endearing sensations, and whom, from my first introduction to her, I have sincerely loved. Similarity of senti- ment will produce an indissoluble union of hearts. How strong are the tics which unite the members of Christ's family? While dwelling in this the house of their pilgrimage, they are subject to the same trials aud privations ; and the same hope encourages them to look forward to the happy hour of their release, when their weary souls shall rest sweetly in the bosom of their (iod. Such I would fondly hope, is the nature of that union which so strongly cements my heart to Miss F. Oh ! that when ' the long sabbath of the tomb is past,' our united souls may be safely anchored in the fair haven of eternal security, where friendship will be perfected.
I have thought much of you since the reception of your kind letter. 1 hope that divine grace has dissipated your doubts, and that you are now enjoy- ing all holy consolation. May you be made emi- nently holy and useful, live near to God, and be favoured with those rich communications of his love, which he often bestows upon his children.
I have been reading this afternoon, some account of the superstitions of the wretched inhabitants of Asia. How void of compassion must be that heart which feels not for the woes of its fellow-mortals ! When, my friend, will the day dawn and the day- star arise in those lands, where the prince of dark- ness has so long dwelt?
The hour is hastening when I must bid an eternal farewell to all that is dear in the land of my nativity,
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cross the boisterous ocean, and become an exile in a foreign land. I must relinquish for ever the friends of my bosom, whose society has rendered pleasant the morning of life, and select for my com- panions the uncivilized heathen of Hindostan. I shall shortly enter upon a life of privations and hardships. ' All the sad variety of grief will pro- bably be mine to share. Perhaps no cordial, sym* pathizing friend will stand near my dying bed, to administer consolation to my departing spirit, to wipe the falling tear, the cold sweat away, to close my eyes, or to shed a tear upon my worthless ashes. But shall the contemplation of these adverse scenes, tempt me to leave the path selected by my heavenly Father? Oh no! ♦ I can do all things through Christ, who strengtheneth me.' This consideration exhi- larates my sinking soul, and diffuses an ardour within, which I would not relinquish for all the splendours of this world.
You, my dear Miss F., will not forget to intercede with Jesus in my behalf. You will pray for the wretched heathen in India •, this will lead your thoughts to those who have devoted their lives to the work of spreading the gospel among them. You will feel interested in their exertions ; and as often as the sun rises in the East, you will invoke for them the blessing and protection of the universal Parent.
When shall I be favoured with another interview with you? Will you not visit me this winter? I need not assure you, that it would be a source of the highest gratification. Preparations for a long voyage, together with visiting friends, have pre- vented my answering your letter before. Do write me again soon; recollect that I have a special claim an your indulgence. Affectionately yours,
Harriet.
MRS. NEWELL. 97
TO MISS M. T., OF NEWBURY.
Boston, Jan. 24, 181J. Neither distance nor time has been able to efface from my mind the recollection of that affection, which I once so sincerely professed to feel for you, my beloved M. My pen would not thus long have lain inactive, had inclination been consulted. No; be assured, that nothing less than important indis- pensable engagements has prevented me from ac- knowledging the receipt of your kind letter, which afforded me much pleasure. I hear from my friend N. that you have been indisposed of late. Such, my sister, is the lot of rebel man. Our world is doomed to agonize in pain and sickness, the just desert of sin. Pilgrims and strangers in a dry and thirsty land, where noliving waters flow, we, though so young, feel the heavy effects of the first trans- gression. A composed and tranquil mind, a heart disposed cheerfully to accpiiesce in the dispensa- tions of heaven, however trying, is desirable indeed. But this divine resignation is the gift of the Spirit. May you be favoured with a disposition to rejoice in God, not only when the calm sunshine of pros- perity illumines your dwelling, but also when the dreary tempests of affliction beat upon you. The night of soi row, though dark, is yet but short, if we are the children of the Most High. As Kirke White beautifully expresses the sentiment, * Our weary feet shall ere long greet the peaceful inn of lasting rest/ How sweet will be the rest enjoyed in that peaceful inn, after a life of repeated toil and suffer- ings for Christ ! Let this idea stimulate us to a life of exemplary piety.
If ever we are favoured with intimate communion with God, and feel the value of that Gospel which bringeth life and salvation, let us compassionate the forlorn heathen. Let our souls weep for those who are unacquainted with the glad tidings; who G
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spend their wretched lives in worshipping dumb idols ; whose lips have never been vocal with re- deeming love. Oh, when will the radiant star in the East, direct them to Bethlehem ! Oh, when will the high praises of Immanuel resound from the lips of the Hindoo in Asia, the Hottentot of Africa, and the inhospitable Indian of our dear native America !
The glorious morn of the millenium hastens. With an eye of faith we pass the mountains that now obstruct the universal spread of the gospel, and behold with joy unspeakable, the beginning of a cloudless day, the ' reign of peace and love.' Shall we, my ever dear M., who fondly hope that we are the lambs of Jesus' flock, be content to live indolent, inactive lives, and not assist in the great revolution about to be effected in this world of sin? Oh, no ; we will not let it be said at the great day, that one soul, for whom the Son of God became incarnate, for whom he groaned away a dying life, has perish- ed through our neglect. Let worldly ease be sacri- ficed; let a life of self-denial and hardships be welcome to us, if the cause of God may thereby be most promoted, and sinners most likely to be saved from destruction.
Notwithstanding all the encouragements which the Scriptures afford to those who leave all things for God, and devote their lives to his service, still my heart often recoils at the evils of a missionary life. The idea of taking a last farewell of friends and country, and all that is dear on earth (a few friends only excepted), is exceedingly trying. Yes my friend; Harriet will shortly be an exile in ait: foreign country, a stranger in a strange land. Bui it is for God that I sacrifice all the comforts of ? j civilized life. This comforts me ; this is my hope t this my only consolation. Will M. think of me|i will she pray for me, when stormy oceans separate! us ? Will imagination ever waft her to the floating I prison, or the Indian hut, where she, who was onc< I
MRS. NEWELL. 99
honoured with the endearing appellation of friend, resides ? May wc meet in heaven, where friends will no more be called to endure a painful separa- tion! May peace and happiness long be inmates of M.'s breast! May she increase in the enjoyment of her God, as days and years increase ! How can I wish her more substantial bliss ? Shall I not be favoured with one more undisturbed interview with you? Shall I not give you a parting kiss? Shall I not say , Farewell ? Why may I not spend the little remnant of my days with you? MustI be separated? But enough — my heart is full ; gladly would I rill my sheet with ardent expressions of lasting friend- ship.
But, hush, my fond heart, hush, —
There is a shore of better promise ;
And I hope at last, we two shall meet
In Christ, to part no more.
A few more letters will probably close our cor- respondence for ever. Will you write me imme- diately ? M. will gratify me, if she loves me. Will you not visit Haverhill this winter? I long to see you. I cannot tell you how much I regretted the loss of your society last summer. I have since been favoured with an introduction to your dear Miss G. A lovely girl. Affectionately yours, Harriet.
TO MISS S. H., ANDOVER.
Haverhill, Feb. 3, 1812. THE long expected hour is at length arrived, and I am called to bid an eternal adieu to the dear land of my nativity, and enter upon a life replete with crosses, privations, and hardships. The conflicting emotions which rend my heart, imagination will point out to my dear Miss H. better than my pen can describe them. But still peace reigns many an hour within. Consolations are mine, more va- luable than ten thousand worlds. My Saviour, my Sanctifier,my Redeemer, is still lovely, his com- l forts will delight my soul. Think of Harriet, when
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crossing the stormy ocean — think of her, when wan- dering over Hindostan's sultry plains. Farewell, my friend, a last, a long farewell.
May we meet in yonder world, 'where adieus and farewells are a sound unknown!'
Give dear Mrs. W. a parting kiss from Harriet.
Write to and pray often for HARRIET.
TO MISS S. B., OF HAVERHILL.
Haverhill, Feb. 1612.
ACCEPT, my ever dear Sarah, the last tribute of heart felt affection from your affectionate Harriet, which you will ever receive. The hour of my de- parture hastens; when another rising sun illumines the Eastern horizon, I shall bid a last farewell to a beloved widowed mother, brothers and sisters dear, and the circle of Haverhill friends. With a scene so replete, with sorrow just at hand, how can I be otherwise than solemn as eternity ! The mo- tives which first induced me to determine upon de- voting my life to the services of God in distant India, now console my sinking spirits. Oh, how valuable, how exceedingly precious are the promises of the gospel !
Eighteen years of my life have been spent in tranquillity and peace. But those scenes so full of happiness, are departed. They are gone ' with the years beyond the flood, 'no more to return. A pain- ful succession of joyless days will succeed ; trials, numberless and severe, will be mine to share. Home, that dearest, sweetest spot, — friends, whose society has rendered the morn of life pleasant, must be left for ever ! The stormy ocean must be crossed ; and an Indian cottage in a sultry clime, must shortly contain all that is Harriet. Perhaps no sympa- thizingfriend will stand near my dying bed, to wipe the falling tear, to administer consolation, or to entomb my worthless ashes when my immortal spirit quits this earthly tabernacle.
MRS. NEWELL. 101
But why indulge these melancholy sensations ? Is it not for Jesus that I make these sacrifices — and will He not support me by his grace ? Oh, yes, my heart replies, he will.
The sultry climes of India then I'll choose; There will I toll, and sinner*' bonds unloose! There will I live, and draw my latest hreith ; And in my Jesus' service, meet a stingless death.
My friend, there is a rest for the weary pilgrim in yonder world. Shall we meet there, * when the long sabbath of the tomb is past V
Sarah, my much loved friend, farewell. Fare- well perhaps for ever. Though trackless forests separate, though oceans roll between, Oh, forget not Harriet.
These were the last letters written by Mrs. Newell, before her departure from America. On the 6th of Feb. 1812, when the Missionaries were ordained at Salem, Mrs. Newell was present. On that interesting occasion, she manifested remark- able tranquillity and resolution. Feb. 19, 1812, with Mr. Newell and Mr. and Mrs. Judson, she sailed from Salem, and took leave for ever of her native land, amidst the prayers and benedictions of multitudes.
The following diary written on her passage to India, and addressed to her mother, was lately re- ceived.
1812.
March 9. To you, my beloved mother, shall these pages be cheerfully dedicated. If they afford you amusement in a solitary hour, if they are in- strumental in dissipating one anxious sensation from your heart, I shall be doubly rewarded for writing. Whatever will gratify a mother so valu- able as mine, shall here be recorded, however un- interesting it might be to a stranger. The first
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week after our embarkation, I was confined to my bed with sea-sickness. This was a gloomy week. But my spirits were not so much depressed, as I once expected they would be. The attend- ants were obliging, and I had every convenience which I could wish on board a vessel. Feb. 24, the vessel sprung a leak. We were in the great- est danger of sinking during the night. The men laboured almost constantly at the pump. Capt. H. thought it best to alter the course of the Cara- van, and make directly for St. Jago. The wind changed in the morning. In a day or two the leak was providentially discovered, and prevented from doing any further injury. Though much fatigued, sleep departed from me. It was indeed an interest- ing night. Though a sudden exit from life appeared more solemn than ever before, yet I felt a sweet composure in confiding in God, and in leaving the disposal of my life with him.
We have no family worship, which we con- sider a great affliction. Sabbath foreuoon, Mr. N. or brother J. read a sermon, and perform the other exercises of worship in the cabin. The captain and officers favour us with their attendance. I have found much enjoyment at these seasons. I often think on my American friends, who are blessed with the privilege of attending statedly on the means of grace. My thoughts were particularly fixed on my brethren and sisters the first sabbath in March. I thought that our dear pastor would not forget to intercede with God for an absent sister, wbile sit- ting at the communion table, where I have often had a seat. I shall devote much of my time to readiug, while on the water. There is but little variety in a sea life. 1 have noticed with pleasure that many little articles which I accidentally brought with me, have contributed much to my comfort.
The vessel is very damp, and the cabin collects some dirt, which renders it necessarv that I should
MRS. NEWELL. 103
frequently change my clothes, in order to appear decent. I think I shall have clothes enough for the voyage, by taking a little care. We have had contrary winds and calms for ten days past, which will make our voyage longer. How can it be that I wish for those winds that waft me farther from my dear mother, and all that I have in a much- loved native country. Surely this wish does not originate from want of affection for my friends.
March 10. We have prayers regularly every even- ing in brother J.'s room, which is larger and more convenient than ours. We have met another brig, bound to America, as we imagine, but on account of contrary winds, which renders it difficult to come near enough to speak with her, she hfis proceeded on her passage. This is the second vessel which we have seen at a distance, going direct to America ; but I have not been favoured with the privilege of sending letters to you. Oh, how ardently do I long to tell you, just how I am at present situated, and that I am happy and contented. We find there is great danger of speaking with any vessel, lest it should prove to be a French privateer. It is very difficult writing to day, on account of the constant motion of the vessel. The wind is favourable; we go nearly seven miles an hour.
March 12. A heavy sea to-day; the waves have repeatedly broken on deck, and rushed with vio- lence down the gangway into the cabin. Our room has not yet been wet.
March 14. I have been on deck, and seen the sailors take a turtle. They went out in a boat two or three miles, and took it by surprise, with their hands. It weighs about twenty pounds. We have learned how to make yeast. We have occasionally flour-bread, nuts, apple-puddings, apple-pies, &c. We have baked and stewed beans, twice a-week, which you know are favourite dishes of mine, also fowl, ham, &c. We drink tamarind-water, porter, cyder, &c, I have been agreeably disappointed
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respecting oar manner of living at sea, though we are not free from inconveniences, by any means.
Marchl6. Yesterday morning, religious exercises were performed as usual in the cabin. Several pages in Law's Serious Call read. My thoughts dwell on home, and my much loved country, more in- tensely on the sabbath, than on any other day. The sun rises much earlier here than in Haverhill. At one I think you are going to church. Dined on turtle-soup yesterday; do not like it. Saw a flying- fish to-day ; breakfasted upon it. Several gales of wind last evening. I do not know why it is that I do not suffer more from fear than 1 do. Cousin J. will tell you how dreary every thing appears, in a dark evening, when the wind blows hard, and the vessel seems to be on the point of turning over. But we have been highly favoured, the weather has gene- rally been remarkably pleasant.
March 17. I have just seen a third vessel, bound, as we have every reason to think, to dear America. We came so near her as to see the men walking on deck; but Capt. H. received particular orders to speak with no vessel on the passage. I have a great desire to send to you, my dear mother, some com- munication. But this gratification I must give up. Five weeks yesterday, since I bade you adieu. Oh that you may never, for one moment, regret that you gave me up, to assist in so great, so glorious a work. I want more faith, more spirituality, more engagedness, in so good a cause. Possessed of these blessings, I shall be happy, while crossing the tempestuous ocean, and when I become an in- habitant of Pagan Asia.
March 18. I am sometimes almost sick for the want of exercise. I walk fast on the deck three times a-day, which is the only exercise I take. We have seen a number of flying fishes to-day, which look very pretty. We are now more than 3000 miles from home. I shall ever find a melancholy pleasure in calling my mother's house in Haverhill, my home,
MRS. NEWELL. 105
though the Atlantic floods roll between. Long may the best of heaven's blessings rest upon the dwell- ing, where I have spent my playful years in peace, and where in riper age I have known what tran- quillity is, by happy experience : long may my be- loved mother, and dear brothers and sisters, enjoy the blessings of my heavenlyFather, and be strangers to affliction and woe.
March 19. It is excessively warm today. We are now in the torrid zone ; while my dear mother, brothers, and sisters, are probably shivering over a large fire, I am sitting with the window and door open, covered with perspiration. Brother and sister Judson are asleep on one bed, Mr. N. lounging on another, while I am writing. You know not how much I think of you all, how ardently I desire to hear from you, and see you. My time passes more pleasantly than ever I anticipated. I read, and sew, and converse at intervals ; rise early in the morn- ing, retire early at night. I find Mr. Newell to be every thing I could wish for. He not only acts the part of a kind, affectionate friend, but likewise that of a careful, tender physician.
March 20. I have been into'a bath of salt water this evening, which has refreshed me much. I think I shall bathe regularly every other day. I often think of many ways in which I could have contri- buted to your comfort and happiness, and that of my other dear friends, while with you. My mother, my dear mother, can you, will you forgive me for causing you so much pain, as I surely have done in the course of my life, and for making you so few returns for the unwearied care and kindness you have ever shewn me. I think that if your heart is fixed, trusting in God, you will find consolation, when thinking of my present situation. You will be unspeakably happy in commending me to God, and the word of his grace, and praying for my wel- fare in heathen lands.
March 21 . A large porpoise was taken yesterday.
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Cousin J. will describe this curious fish to you. I have had a return of my old complaint, the nervous head-ache. It has attended mefortwo or three days very severely. I think it is in some measure owing to the confined air of our lodging room. This is one of the greatest inconveniences to which we are sub- jected. \\ hen I awakethese extremely hot mornings, I often think of our large cool chambers. The heat is not all. It is also attended with a disagreeable smell, occasioned by the bilge water which is pumped out of the ship. But this is a light trial.
March 22. I have spent a quarter part of this holy day on deck, reading, sinjing, conversing, &c. I hope this has been a profitable and joyful sabbath to my dear mother.
Oh, how ardently do I long again to frequent the courts of my God, and hear from his ambassadors the joyful sound of the irlorious gospel ! But though in a humbler manner, yet I trust we find his grace displayed toward us while meeting for his worship. The weather is hot in the extreme; -we are within a few days' sail of the line. I have not found a stove necessary more than once or twice since I left the harbour. The weather has been much warmer than I anticipated. But we keep pretty comfortable in the air.
March 23. I cannot yet drink coffee or tea with- out milk. We have water-porridge night and morn- ins:, and sometimes chocolate, which is very good. We have every necessary which is possible on the ocean. I am thankful I feel no disposition to com- plain. I have for the most part of the time since we sailed, enjoyed a great degree of real happiness. The everlasting God is mv refuge.
March 24. Mr. Newell o:"ten regrets that he had no more time to spend with you previous to our de- parture. He often says, ' Harriet, how I do loug to see your dear mother !' We often look the way where.Captain H. tells us Haverhill lies. But alas! a vast ocean and the bine sky are all we can see.
MRS. NEWELL. 107
But there is a land, my dear mother, where stormy seas cannot divide the friends of Jesus. There I hope to meet you and all my beloved friends, to whom, on earth, I have bid adieu. Oh that when the followers of the Lamb are collected from the East and West, from the North and South, Harriet, ane.r*7e,in a distant land, with her mother, father, brothers, and sisters, maybe united in the family of the Most High in heaven.
March 25. The weather is about as warm as the extreme hot weather in America, last summer. Mamma may possibly be called to fit out another daughter for India. If so, I think some improve- ment might be made upon her plan. We all feel the want of more thin clothes. We are told, we shall not be likely to suffer more from the heat in Bengal, than we do now. We do not go more than a mile an hour. Are within 160 miles of the Equator. This is dear little Emily's birth-day. Sweet child! will she ever forget her absent sister, Harriet, whom once she loved? Oh no 1 I will not for one moment indulge the thought. I cannot bear to think of losing a place in the remembrance of dear friends.
March 26. My attachment to the world has greatly lessened since I left my country, and with it all the honours, pleasures, and riches of life. Yes, mamma, I feel this morning like a pilgrim and a traveller in a dry and thirsty land where no water is. Heaven is my home ; there, I trust, my weary soul will sweetly rest, after a tempestuous voyage across the ocean of life. I love to think of what I shall shortly be, when I have finished my heavenly Father's work on earth. How sweet the thoughts of glory, while I wander here in this waste wilder- ness! I still contemplate the path into which I have entered with pleasure, although replete with trials, under which, nothing but sovereign grace can sup- port me. I have at times the most ardent desires to see you, and my other dear friends. These de- sires, for a moment, are almost insupportable.
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But when I think seriously of the object of my un- dertaking, and the motives which first induced me to give up all, and enter upon it, 1 enjoy a sweet serenity of mind, a satisfaction which the heaviest trials cannot destroy. The sacrifices which I have made are great indeed ; but the light of Immanuel's countenance can enliven every dreary scene, and make the path of duty pleasant. Should I at some future period be destitute of one sympathizing friend, in a foreign sickly clime, I shall have no- thing to fear. When earthly friends forsake me, then ' the Lord will take me up/ No anticipated trials ought to make me anxious ; fori know that I can do aud suffer all things, 'through Christ, who strengtheneth me.' In his hands I leave the direc- tion of every event, knowing that he who is infi- nitely wise and good, can do no wrong.
March 29. We crossed the Equator last night. The weather still continues excessively hot. Heavy gales of wind, and repeated showers of rain, ren- dering it necessary for the captain and officers to be on deck, we had no religious exercises in the cabin.
March 31. It is six weeks, this evening, since we came on board the Caravan. How rapidly have the weeks glided away. Thus, my dear mamma, will this short life pass. Why then do our thoughts dwell so much upon a short separation, when there is a world, where the friends of Jesus will never part more ?
April 1. Three sharks caught to-day. In their frightful appearance they far exceeded the descrip- tion I have often heard given of them.
April 7. The weather grows colder as we draw nearer the Cape. Some Cape birds are seen fiving on the water, called Albatrosses. We have had a little piece of the gangway taken into our room, which renders it much more pleasant and cool. We can now sit together and read. Mr. J. and N.'s room is large and convenient.
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May 1 Again, my ever dear mother, I devote a few leisure moments to you, and my beloved bro- thers and sisters. The winds and the waves are bearing us rapidly away from America. I care not how soon we reach Calcutta, and are placed in a still room with a bowl of milk, and a loaf of Indian bread. I can hardly think of this simple fare with- out exclaiming, Oh, what a luxury ! I have been so weary of the excessive rocking of the vessel, and the almost intolerable smell after the rain, that I have done little more than lounge on the bed for several days. But I have been blest with excellent spirits, and to-day have been running about the deck, and dancing in our room for exercise, as well as ever. What do some females do, who have unkind hus- bands in sickness? Among the many signal favours I am daily receiving from God, one of the greatest is a most affectionate partner. With him my days pass cheerfully away ; happy in the consciousness of loving and of being beloved. With him contented I would live, and contented 1 would die. This, my mother, is the language of your Harriet's heart.
We are in the latitude of the Cape. The weather is cold, and will probably be so for a month. The last winter we shall have. Ten weeks since we left Salem. I often think, and often dream of you. Is mamma happy ? Oh yes ! blest with the rich conso- lations of the gospel, she cannot be unhappy. But, mamma, the heathen are wretched. For their sake shall not some Christians leave friends and country, cross the Atlantic, and submit to many hardships, to carry them the word of life? I do not repent, nor have I ever repented of my undertaking. My health is as good as I could reasonably expect. When I get to Calcutta, I will tell you more of that.
When in the exercise of right feelings, 1 rejoice that I am made capable of adding to the happiness of one of Christ's dear missionaries. This is the sphere in which I expect to be useful, while life is prolonged. This is what you calculated upon, and
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I am now happy in seeing this wish daily accom- plished. In heaven I hope shortly to recount to you the many toils of my pilgrimage. My dear mother, and my dear brothers and sisters, farewell for the present. Lest I should forget, I mention it now, request brother E. W., and all who are inte- rested enough to inquire for me, to write me long letters. Oh, how acceptable will American letters be. You toiU think of it.
May 8. My dear Mr. N. has been ill this week past with the dysentry, so ill that he has kept his bed the greater part of the time. Should he fall a victim to this painful disease, and leave me alone in a strange land ! But I will not distrust the care of my heavenly Father. I know he will never leave nor forsake me, though a widowed stranger in a strange country. The weather is rainy, the sea runs high, and our room is often overflowed with water. My health has been remarkably good since Mr. N.'s sickness, and I have been able to attend upon him a little. But think, mamma, how painful it must be to the feeling heart, to stand by the sick-bed of a beloved friend, see him in want of many neces- saries, which you cannot provide.
Four years to-day since my father's death. You my dear mother have probably thought of it, and the recollection is painful. Dear cousin C. has probably before this time entered the world of spirits; and perhaps more of my dear Haverhill friends.
This life's a dream, an empty shadow.
We find that we have taken passage in an old leaky vessel, which, perhaps, will not stand the force of the winds and waves, until we get to Cal- cutta. But if God has any thing for us to do in heathen Asia, we shall get there and accomplish it. Why then do we fear? It is God, Who ridis upon the stormy winds, And manages the seas.
And is not this God our God ?
MRS. NEWELL. Ill
May 10. Mr. Ncwell's health is much improved. ' I will bless the Lord, because he hath heard the voice of my supplicatisns.' The weather is still cold and unpleasant. We are tossing about on the stormy waves, and are subjected to the numerous inconveniences of a sea-faring life. We go at the rate of 160 miles in twenty-four hours. We hope to reach our destined haven in six or seven weeks.
Scarcely a night passes, but I dream of my dear mother, brothers, and sisters. My sleeping hours are pleasant. Doubtless, mammasometimes dreams of Harriet. Does she not?
May 11. I have been reading what I have written, and fear that mamma will conclude from some sentences, that I am not so happy in my present situation as she could wish. It has never been my intention to leave this impression on your mind. Believe me, my mother, in the sincerity of my heart I can say, that, with a very few exceptions, I am happy all the day long. Though I am deeply sen- sible of my want of many qualifications, which would render a female higbly useful among those of her own sex in Asia, yet I delight in the thought that, weak and unqualified as I am, a sovereign God may see fit to make me the instrument of doing some good to the heathen, either directly or indi- rectly. Recollect, mamma, that happiness is not confined to any particular situation.
The humble cottager may enjoy as much happiness as the king on his throne. Blest with a compe- tency, what more do we want ? This God has hitherto granted me ; and more than this, he has often given me the enjoyment of himself, which you know by happy experience is of greater value than all this earth can afford :
Give what tliou wilt, without thee we are poor, And with thee rich, take what thou wilt away.
I think I never enjoyed so much solid peace of mind— never was so tree from discontent and me-
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lancholy, as since I have been here ; though I still retain a sinful heart, and often am led to doubt the reality of my being personally interested in the co- venant.
May 14. You will not doubt but what my health is excellent, when I tell you, that I eat meat three times a day with a very good relish. I generally drink water gruel morning and evening, instead of coffee and tea. The gingerbread, which the ladies in Salem made for us, is still good. But we find that the crackers which Captain Pearson put up for us, have been, and still are, more acceptable than any thing else which we have. The preserves, which I brought from home, were almost useless ; for in a week or two after we sailed, they grew mouldy, and I gave them to the sailors. Those which Mrs. B. gave me kept very well. Mr. N. re- lished them much in his sickness. I wish to thank her.
May 17. Sabbath eve.— This has been a pleasant day. We assembled in the cabin as usual, and joined in the worship of God. I have enjoyed as much this day, as I ever did in an American church. The presence of Jesus is not confined to a temple made with hands. Many hundreds flock to his house every sabbath. The word preached does not profit them. They go, and return without a bless- ing; while the believing two or three, who are ga- thered together in his name, are favoured with his presence. This thought often gives me great encou- ragement, when lamenting my long absence from the courts of the Lord. * I have loved the place where thine honour dwelleth/
Two albatrosses caught to-day. They are very pretty birds, about the size of a goose. We shall have what we call a sea-pie made of them. We all long to see land again.
May 20. This is probably a delightful month with you. 'The winter is past, and the time of the sing- ing of birds is come/ May health, peace, and joy,
MRS. NEWELL. 113
reside in my dear-loved native dwelling! Oh, may my mother dear and all her children be favoured with those joys which the gospel of Jesus affords. Pray that Harriet may possess them too, though far away from friends and home.
May 21. How docs our dear church flourish? Is the little flock which our dear pastor is attempting to direct to glory, increasing in strength, piety, and numbers? And how is it with the pious few whom I left walking closely with God, like pilgrims and strangers, and daily expectants of rest? Oh, that I were with them, to speak a word to our dear sisters, and exhort them to be faithful unto the end ! But no, mamma, do not regard the opposition of the world, or Satan; but Oh! be active, be engaged in promoting piety around you. Oh, that I had done more for Jesus, when with you ! Oh, that those evenings which were spent in vanity, had been sacred to prayer ! Tell cousin J. to exert every faculty of his soul for God.
Mayll. How does dear little A. do? I should love to see the sweet child. May he long livo to comfort his parents, and do good inthe world ! Our dear Mr. W. is probably now at Haverhill. It would have been pleasant to see him once more. Do give my love to him. Will he write me owe letter? M., I hope, has become very good, and is affording you much assistance and comfort. C, likewise, and little E., I hope, are great blessings to their dear mother. Do kiss all the children for me. I shall expect letters from every one. I shall not ask for them ; for mamma knows what I want. I cannot yet give up the idea of having a visit from you, when I get settled in my little Indian hut. Per- haps E., S., cr C, may accompany some missionary to Asia. If the mission-ship should be sent — but let me stop. I have thought more than ever, since I left home, that I shall return to America again, if deprived by death of my dear, dear Mr. N. Oh, that such an event might never happen! But life H
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is uncertain, particularly in burning India. I am trying to familiarize my mind to every affliction. We often converse of a separation. It is Lis wish that I should return to you immediately, should such an event take place; unless I am positive of being more extensively useful among the heathen. May 24. Hope my Haverhill friends have enjoy- ed as much comfort as I have, this holy sabbath.
May 29. Do you not think, mamma, I have ac- quired a little courage since I left home? I have had two teeth extracted to-day; they came very hard ; but I think I shall have all my defective ones taken out.
May 31. We have this evening been reading some account of Birmah. Never before did I so much feel my dependance on God. We are going among a savage people, without the protection of a reli- gious government. We may possibly, one day, die martyrs to the cause which we have espoused. But, trusting in God, we may yet be happy, infinitely more happy than all the riches and honours of this world cau make us. I hope you will never indulge an anxious thought about us. Pray often, and pray earnestly for us. Oh, how does the hope of heaven reconcile me to a life of trials! When my friends in America hear of my departure from this vale of tears, let the thought that I am at rest in Jesus, in- fluence them to rejoice rather than to weep.
June 7. The weather grows warmer, and the heat will probably continue to increase, until we reach Calcutta. But we have fine winds, which render the weather comfortable. Worship as usual in the cabin to day. We have commenced and ended this sabbath, nearly at the same time with the Chris- tians in India. If mamma and our other friends were now to look on the map, they would see us in the torrid zone, passing near the fertile island of Ceylon. The idea of being within some hundred miles of land is really pleasant. We have had strong gales of wind, and heavy rains, attended
MRS. NEWELL. 115
with thunder and lightning of late; which might terrify a heart, more susceptible of feeling than mine. I know not how it is, but I hear the thunder roll, see the lightning flash, and the waves threatening to swallow up the vessel, and yet remain unmoved.
June 9. We are now looking forward in expec- tation of shortly seeing the shores of Calcutta. The idea of again walking on the earth, and conversing with its inhabitants, is pleasing. Though, as we often remark to each other, this may be the plea- santest part of our lives. We do not calculate upon a life of ease.
June 10. We have been packing some of our things to-day. Hope to reach port sabbath-day, if the winds prove favourable.
June 11. Some visitors from land to-day, — two birds and a butterfly. We suppose, that we are about one hundred miles from land. The weather un- pleasant and rainy last night and today. I dread rainy weather very much at sea. How does dear E. do? Is she a very good child? Do, dear mother, talk often to the children about their sister Harriet. Do not let them forget me. I think much of dear sister E. How happy should I feel, if she were with me. Dear girl ! with what sensations do I re- call the scenes of other years I I hope that she is happy. Perhaps ere this, she has given herself to God, and commenced a serious and devout life. If this is the case, my heart congratulates her. My mother, shall so much loveliness be lost?
June 12. Rejoice with us, my dear, dear mother, in the goodness of our covenant God. After seeing nothing but sky and water for one hundred and four- teen days, we this morning heard the joyful excla- mation of ' land , land !' It is the coast of Orissa, about twenty miles from us. Should the wind be favourable, we shall not lose sight of land again until we get to Calcutta. We hope to see the pagoda which contains the Idol Juggernaut, before sunset. The view of the Orissa coast, though at a
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distance, excites within me a variety of sensations unknown before. For it is the land of pagan dark- ness, which Buchanan so feelingly describes.
June 13. A calm. Passed the temple of Jugger- naut, and the Black Pagoda ; but the weather being hazy, we could not see them. In the afternoon for the first time, spoke a vessel. An American ship from the Cape of Good Hope. It seemed good to hear the voice of a human being not belonging to our number. Agreed to keep company during the night.
June 14. No public worship to-day. The last night a sleepless, tedious one. Sounded every half hour all night. The water shallow, and of a dirty light green. Surrounded by shoals, in perpetual danger of running upon them. Many vessels have been shipwrecked here, and in the'Hoogly river. May that God, who has hitherto been our protector, still stand by us. Anxiously looking for a pilot, but no vessel in sight. The ship and brig close by us. Pleasant having company. Spoken with the brig to-day, owned by some one in Calcutta, and manned by Bengalees. I could see them distinctly with a spy-glass. Lost sight of land. No sun for three days.
June 15. We anchored last night. Dangerous sailing in this place in the dark ; pr •videmially dis- covered a pilot's schooner this morning. Vessels are sometimes kept waiting ten days or more for a pilot. The pilot, an English lad, called the leads- man, and the pilot's Hindoo servant, came on board, bag and baggage. I should like to describe this Hindoo to you. He is small in stature, about twenty years of age, of a dark copper colour. His coun- tenance is mild, and indicates the most perfect apathy and indolence. He is dressed in calico trousers, and a white cotton short gown. He is a Mahometan. I should not imagine that he had force enough to engage in any employment.
June 16. Last night by sunset the anchor was
MRS. NEWELL. 117
thrown again. A heavy sea ; the vessel rocked violently all the evening. The water rushing in at the cabin-windows, overflowed our rooms. The birth is our only place of residence at such times.
About eleven the cable broke, and we were dashed about all night in continual danger of run- ning upon some shoal. The anchor was lost, yet we were miraculously preserved from a sudden and awful death, by that God who rules the seas, and whom the winds obey. I slept the greater part of the night sweetly ; though the dead lights were in, which made our room excessively hot, and much confusion was on deck; all hands hard at work the most of the night. What a blessing, Oh my mother, is health. Were I on land, I think no one would be so free from complaints as I. Even here, notwithstanding all the fatigue to which I am unavoidably subjected, I get along surprisingly. Saugor Island about two miles from us. This is the island where so many innocent children have been sacrificed by their parents, to sharks and alligators. Cruel, cruel! While I am now writing, we are fast entering the river Hoogly. For several days past, we have had frequent showers of rain. This is the time at which the rainy season commences in Ben- gal. It is the most unhealthy part of the year. The weather is not uncomfortably warm.
12 o'clock. A boat filled with Hindoos from Cud- jeree, has just left our vessel. It is called a port- boat. They have taken letters, which will be sent post haste before us, to Calcutta. These Hindoos were naked, except a piece of cotton cloth wrapped about their middle. They are of a dark copper colour, and with much more interesting counte- nances than the Hindoo we have now on board. They appeared active, talkative, and as though they were capable of acquiring a knowledge of the Chris- tian religion, if instructed. Their hair is black : some had it shaved off the fore part of the head, and tied in a bunch behind j that of the others, was all
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turned back. I long to become acquainted with
the Hindoo language.
1 o'clock. "We are now so near land as to seethe green bushes and trees on the banks of the river. The smell of the land air is reviving. We hear the birds singing sweetly in the bushes.
5 o'clock. I wish my ever dear mother could be a partaker of our pleasures. Were it in my power, how gladly would I describe to you the beauties of the scenery around us. After passing hundreds of the Hindoo cottages, which resemble haystacks in their form and colour, in the midst of cocoa-nut, ba- nana, and date trees, a large English stone house will appear to vary the scene. Here will be seen a large white pagoda through the trees, the placewhere the idol-gods are worshipped : there a large ancient building in ruins. Some Hindoos are seen bathing in the water of the Ganges; others fishing; others sitting at their ease on the banks ; others driving home their cattle, which are very numerous; and others walking, with fruit and umbrellas in their hands, with the little tawny children around them. The boats frequently come to our vessel, and the Hindoos chatter, but it is thought best to take no notice of them. This is the most delightful trial I ever had. We anchor in the river to-night, twenty- five miles from Calcutta. Farewell.
JuneM. After a tedious voyage, we have, my dear mother, arrived at Calcutta. We reached here yesterday, at three o'clock in the afternoon. Mr. N. and brother J. went on shore immediately, and re- turned in the evening. They called at the police- office, entered their names; called upon Dr. Carey at his dwelling-house at Calcutta, were cordially received, and by him invited to go immediately to Serampore.* They likewise saw Dr. Marshman
* A Danish Settlement, chosen as the seat of the Mission in the year 1799. It is situated about fifteen miles north from Cal- cutta, on the western bank of the Hoogly, a branch of the Gauges.
MRS. NEWELL. 11§
and Mr. Ward. I cannot say that our future pros- pects are at present flattering, but hope, before I send you this, they will wear a different aspect.
Mr. N. and J. will go on shore again this morn- ing: we hope to be permitted to land and reside here for a season, but know not how it will be.
The English East- India Company are violently opposed to missions ; but I will tell you more at some future time. Oh, that their hearts might be opened to receive the blessings of the gospel. Oh, my mother, my heart is pained within me at what I have already seen of these wretched pagans. Here we are, surrounded byhundredsof them, whose only object is to get their rice, eat, drink, and sleep. One of the writer cast, dressed in a muslin cuprash and white turban (which is the common habit of that east), who can talk English, has just left the cabin. His name is Ram-joy-Gos. Your pious heart, my dear mother, would melt with compassion to hear him talk. Oh|the superstition thatprevailsthrough this country ! I am sure, if we gain admittance into Asia, I shall plead harder with American Chris- tians, to send missionaries to these Bengal heathens, than ever a missionary did before.
Three miles from Calcutta, a native came with a basket of pine apples, plantains (which taste like a rich pear), a pot of fresh butter, and several loaves of good bread — a present from one of Capt. H.'s friends. At night, I made a delicious meal on bread and milk. The milk, though thin, was a luxury. Yesterday and last night we were not uncomfort- ably warm, as the day was cloudy, attended with a little rain. But to-day it is excessively hot. I dare not go on deck, for I burned my face so yester- day, that it is almost ready to blister; owing to my going on deck without a bonnet. You have heard of the natives dying by being sun-struck.
I think I can say, I never felt better in America, than I do here. Calcutta harbour is a delightful place. But we are quite tired of the noise. The
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natives are as thick as bees ; they keep a continual chattering. I like the sound of the Bengalee much.
June 18. Yesterday afternoon we left the vessel, and were conveyed in a palanquin through crowds of Hindoos to Dr. Carey's.
No English lady is hero seen walking the streets. This I do not now wonder at. The natives are so numerous and noisy, that a walk would be extreme- ly unpleasant. Calcutta houses are built almost entirely of stone. They are very large and airy. Dr. C.'s house appeared like a palace to us, after residing so long in our little room. He keeps a large number of Hindoo servants. Mrs. Carey is very ill at Serampore The Doctor is a small man and very pleasant. Pie received us very cordially. This morning we saw some of the native Christians. Ram-mo-Hund was one. They cannot talk Eng- lish. A son of Dr. C.'s is studying law at Calcutta. He is an amiable young man. An invitation to go to Serampore to-morrow.
June 20. At Serampore. We came here last evening by water. The dear missionaries received us with the same cordiality as they would, if we had been their own brothers and sisters. This is the most delightful place I ever saw. Here ti.e mis- sionaries enjoy ail the comforts of life, and are ac- isgaeed in the Redeemer's service. After a Ledious voyage of four months at sea, think, my dear mother, how grateful to us is this retired and delightful spot. The mission-house consists of four large commodious stone buildings — Dr. Carey's, Dr. Marshman's, Mr. Ward's, and the common house. In the last, we were accommodated with two large spacious rooms, with every convenience we could wish. It has eight rooms on the floor, no chambers; viz., the two rooms above mentioned, with two other lodging rooms, the dining hall, where a hundred or more eat, a large elegant chapel, and two large libraries. The buildings stand
.MRS. NEWELL. 121
close to the river. The view of the other side is delightful.
The garden is larger, and much more elegant than any I ever saw in America. A few months since, the printing-office was destroyed by tire. This was a heavy stroke ; but the printing is now carried on very extensively. There is a large number of out buildings also -y the cook-house, one for making paper, &c. &c.
June 2], Mr. N. preached this morning in the mission chapel. Mr. W. in the afternoon, in the Bengalee language, to about fifty Hindoos and Mus- selmen. This afternoon 1 shall ever recollect with peculiar sensations. The appearance of the Christian Hindoos, when listening to the word of life, would have reproved many an American Christian. Had you been present, I am sure you could not have re- frained from weeping. Had an opposer of missions been present, his objections must have vanished. He would have exclaimed, what hath God wrought! To hear the praises of Jesus sung by a people of strange language •, to see them kneel before the throne of grace ; to behold them eagerly catching every word which proceeded from the mouth of their minister, was a joyful affecting scene. Re- joice, my mother; the standard of the blessed Im- manuel is erected in this distant pagan land ; and here the gospel will undoubtedly continue, till the commencement of the bright millenial day. In the evening brother J. preached. How precious the privileges I now enjoy !
June 22. I have every thing here which heart could wish, but American friends. We are treated with the greatest possible kindness. Every thing tends to make us happy and excite our gratitude. You would love these dear missionaries, could you see them.
June 24. I have just returned from a scene, cal- culated to awaken every compassionate feeling. At nine in the morning we took a budgerow, and
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went three or four miles up the river to see the worship of Juggernaut. The log of wood was taken from his pagoda, and bathed in the sacred waters of the Ganges. The assembled worshippers fol- lowed the example; and thousands flocked to the river; where, with prayers and many superstitions rites, they bathed. Miserable wretches ! Oh that American Christians would but form an adequate idea of the gross darkness which covers this people ! July 14. A letter from Calcutta informs us, that the Frances will sail for America in a day or two. With this information I must be expeditious in writing. As the Caravan will sail in a short time, I shall neglect writing now to many of my dear friends, to whom I shall then be very particular. I hope the contents of this little book will be gra- tifying to my dear mother. She will remember that they were written while the events were passing, and that they were the feelings of the moment. You will therefore feel disposed to pass over all errors, and think it like the private conversation of one of your daughters.
I am sure I love my dear, dear mother, and my beloved brothers and sisters, and all my dear Ame- rican friends, as well now, as 1 did on the morning when I took my last farewell of home. I long to hear from you all. Whenever you think of me, think I am happy and contented ; that I do not re- gret coming here. But life is uncertain, especially in this country. Should God, in judgment, remove far from me lover, and the best of friends, and leave your Harriet a lonely widow in this land of strangers, say, my mother, ever dear, shall I be a welcome child in your house? I know not what would be my feelings, should such unknown trials be mine. Perhaps I might feel that here I ought to stay. But 1 want to feel, that a mother's house and a mother's arms are open to receive me, should my all be removed before mc into the land of dark- ness. Assurance of this gives me joy.
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My dear mother, unite with me in praising God for one of the best of husbands. Oh, what would have been my wretchedness, had I found Mr. N. a cold , inattentive partner ! But he is all that I could wish him to be. Do give much love to all my friends in Haverhill. I cannot stop to particularize them. They are all dear to me, and I shall write to many of them by the Caravan. Dear mother, if I supposed you had one anxious thought about me, I should not feel happy. I think I see you sur- rounded by your dear family, taking comfort in their society, and blessing God for one child to consecrate to the work of a mission. Oh, that you might find the grace of Jesus sufficient for you ! As your day is, so may your strength be ! Trust in God ; he will support you under every trial. I hope to meet my dear mother, and brothers, and sisters, in heaven, where we shall never be separated.
Farewell, my dear, dear mother. May you en- joy as large a share of earthly bliss, as your God shall see best to give you ; and Oh, that the joys of that gospel, of which the heathen are ignorant, may be yours in life, and in the solemn hour of dissolution. Farewell. A letter to our dear Miss H., almost finished, lies by me ; will be sent by the Caravan. One to Mr. Dodge likewise. Love to both. Harriet Newell.
The first of the following letters was begun at sea, and finished after her arrival in India.
ON BOARD THE CARAVAN AT SEA. MY DEAR MRS. K., April 14, 1812.
Most sensibly do I feel the loss of the society of my Christian friends in Haverhill, with whom I often took sweet counsel. How repeatedly have I commemorated the death of the blessed Jesus at his table with my sister and friend, my ever dear Mrs. K. The ties are still strong which attach
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my heart to her; and though I no more anticipate another meeting with her on earth, yet I hope to sit with her at the gospel feast in heaven, where all parting tears will be wiped away. Two months this day since I left my native shores, and became a resident of this floating prison. The change has been great indeed which the last months have ef- fected in my situation. Many have been the in- conveniences and privations to which I have been subjected. I have relinquished a life of ease and tranquillity, in the bosom of my relatives and friends, for the hardships of a voyage across the Atlantic, and a habitation in an unhealthy clime, among the heathens. But I am far from being un- happy. I have found many valuable sources of enjoyment, and I believe I can say in the sincerity of my heart, that notwithstanding my separation from every object which once I loved, yet I never was happier, or more contented in my life. In one bosom friend I rind the endearing qualities of a parent, a brother, and a husband all united. This sympathy alleviates every sorrow ; his prayers dif- fuse joy and consolation through my heart ; and while he lessens my earthly griefs, he points me to that world, where the weary are at rest,
June 9, lat. io°. long, 36°.
We are rapidly hastening to the place of our des- tination. A few days more will probably land us on the shores of Asia. I feel, my dear Mrs. K., a mixture of pleasing and melancholy sensations, as I approach nearer Calcutta : melancholy, because I can see none of my friends there, and it is an un- healthy, sultry region, which the. gospel has never illuminated; pleasing, because a hope is indulged that ere long the darkness of paganism will be scattered, and the news of salvation be diffused far and wide.
My health has been remarkably good, since we crossed the Equator the last time. This I consider
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a very great blessing, and some encouragement that 1 shall enjoy the same favour in Tndia. The weather is excessively hot ; the nights are very uncomfortable, owing to the confined air of our rooms. But what is this compared with India? The recollection of departed pleasures often casts a gloom over my present enjoyments. ' I think of the days of other years, and my soul is sad/ How does dear Haverhill, my much-loved native town, appear ? How are its dear inhabitants 1 How is the little fiock of Jesus, of which you are a member? How flourishes that dear society of praying fe- males ? How is our dear pastor 1 Are the weekly conferences continued ? Are there many who attend them? Are there many inquiring the way to Zion ? Are there any new converts to the power of truth ? Are there numbers daily added to the church of such as shall be saved ? Were I with my dear Mrs.K. how gladly would I particularize. But I must stop. In one or two years I may have an answer to these questions. Oh that it might be such an answer as will gladden my heart, and cause our little mission band to rejoice. I hope that it will not be long before glad tidings from the East, will give you joy.
Oh that this infant mission might ever live before God. May that quarter of the globe, where so many wonderful transactions have been performed, be tilled with the glory of God. Oh that the standard of Immariuel's cross were already erected in heathen Asia, and that .Mahometans and pagans were prostrated before it. I canuct but hope that the labours of our missionary brethren will be abundantly successful in winning souls to Christ, and that we shall afford them some comfort and assistance in the arduous, but glorious work.
.Tunc 16. My dear Mrs. K., I think will congratulate us on again seeing land. J have been walking on deck;
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and have seen a boat filled with Hindoos approach our vessel. I like their appearance much, and feel more reconciled to the idea of living among them than ever before. My heart burns within me while I write. O, my friend, will these de- graded pagans ever be brought to Jesus ?
Serampore, July 14. I have not time to review what I wrote to you, my dear Mrs. K., on board the Caravan, but send it you full of errors with a promise to write to you shortly again by vessels which will soon go to America. Do let me hear from you: I long to have letters from Haverhill. You will be kind enough to visit my dear mother often, and console her with your pious conversation. I think much of her. Oh that Jesus would support her under all her trials. Dear woman ! — Mrs. K. do not forget me, though I am far away. Let me have your prayers, and the prayers of all my Christian friends in America. A short farewell. Affec- tionately yours, Harriet.
Respects and love to your dear mother and sister, and all other dear friends.
TO HER BROTHER J., MEMBER OF YALE COLLEGE.
Mission House, Serampore, June 27, 1?12. I HAVE just received the welcome intelligence that a vessel bound to America will sail in a few days. With sensations of pleasure unknown before, I have taken my pen to address a brother, who, though far distant, is unspeakably dear to my heart. I cannot tell you how I long to see you ; nor how much joy a letter from you would give me. Neither distance, nor a long absence, has in the least diminished my affection for you. No, my brother; although the pathless ocean rolls
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between, and I no more anticipate another inter- view with you on earth \ yet I love you, ardently and sincerely love you. Your happiness will ever make me happy.
1 sometimes indulge the fond hope that Almighty grace will incline your heart to visit this distant heathen clime, and here proclaim the joyful news of salvation to multitudes of dying pagans, im- mersed in superstition and wretchedness. But if this laborious part of the vineyard should not be assigned you, Oh that your days might be spent in ■winning souls to Jesus, in happy America, where you can enjoy ease and security, in the bosom of your friends. I feel assured, that my dear brother will be gratified by a recital of the various scenes through which I have passed, since I bid a last farewell to our dear maternal abode, and left my country.
I suffered all the horrors of sea-sickness the first week after I left Salem harbour. At the con- clusion of the week we were, one dark and stormy night, alarmed by the intelligence, that our vessel had sprung a leak, and that, unless Providence interposed, we should sink in twenty-four hours. In this trying hour I thought of death, and the thought was sweet. Nothing but anticipating the long-continued anxiety and distress of my dear American friends, made such a sudden exit from ife, in such an awful manner, melancholy and painful. But God, who is rich in mercy, interposed in our behalf the following day, by sending a favourable wind, which .enabled the mariners to repair the vessel, when their strength was nearly exhausted by long pumping.
We proceeded on our passage with pleasant weather, favourable winds, few heavy gales, until we reached the Cape of Good Hope. The weather was then cold and boisterous, the sea rough, and our room was repeatedly overflowed with water. The newly-discovered shoals round the Cape, ren-
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dered this part of the voyage extremely clangorous The first land we saw was the Orissa coast, 114 days after sailing. The sight of the adjacent country, after we entered the river Hoogly, was beautiful bevond description.
Leaving America in the winter, and for a length of time seeing nothing but sky and water, think what must have beeu our delight to gaze upon the trees, the green grass, the little thatched cottages of the Hindoos, resembling a stack of hay, the elegant buildings of the English' the animals feed- ing, and the Hindoos themselves rambling near the shore. My friend Nancy and I were detained two days on board the Caravan, after our arrival at Calcutta. This was a time of great confusion. The Hindoos, of every class, flocked around our vessel like bees round a hive. YVe were carried in palauquins to the house of Dr. Carey, Professor of the College at Fort William of the Oriental Lan- guages. No white female is seen walking in the streets, and but few gentlemen. English coaches, chaises, chairs, and palanquins are numerous. Every street is thronged with the natives. If you ride in a chaise, it is necessary for a Hindoo to run before and clear the way. The houses in Cal- cutta, and indeed all the buildings, the Hindoo huts excepted, are built with stone, or brick white- washed. These are loft)', and have an ancient appearance. Some of them are very elegant. There are many half English children in Calcutta. There is a charity school close by Dr. Carey's, supported by subscription, managed by the Haptist missionaries, consisting of about 100 Portuguese children. Here they enjoy the benefit of i instruction. We attended the English church u;ie evening. This is an elegant building.
The Friday after our arrival, we took a boat and came to Serampore, 15 miles from Calcutta. This is a delightful place, situated on (lie river I i It is inhabited chiefly by Danes. This retin
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?s best calculated to prepare us for our future trials, and our arduous works.
There are five large buildings belonging to the mission : viz. the printing-office, the common house, Dr. Carey's, Dr. Marshman's, aud Mr. Ward's dwelling houses, besides several convenient out- houses, one for making paper, one for cook- ing, &c. &c. There is one of the most delight- ful gardens here I ever saw. It contains a large number of fruit-trees, plants, flowers, &c. The fruit is not as good as ours. Mangoes, plantains, pine-apples, cocoa nuts are very plentiful now. Dr. Carey spends much of his time at Calcutta. Dr. and Mrs. Marshman have large schools of English and half English children, about eighty in both schools. The boys are instructed in Chinese and other languages. These children all eat with us in the hall, and attend prayers morning and evening in the mission chapel. Many of them are sweet singers.
Mr. Ward superintends the printing. Here a large number of Hindoos are employed. Mrs. Ward has the care of providing for the whole mission family. Servants are numerous. This is necessary, for their religion will not permit them to do but one kind of work : for instance, one servant will sweep a room- but no persuasion will be sufficient to make him dust the things.
The church of Christian natives is large. It is a delightful sight to see them meet together for the worship of God. The missionaries preach to them- in Bengalee. They sing charmingly in their lan- guage.
We went in a budgerow (a boat with a little room in it, cushions on each side, and Venetian blinds); the 24th of this month, to see the Hindoo god. Juggernaut, a few miles from Serampore. They took the idol, a frightful object, cut of the Pagoda, and bathed him in the water of the Ganges, which they consider sacred. They bathed themselves ir I
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the river, repeated long forms of prayer, counted their fingers, poured muddy water down their chil- dren's throats, and such like foolish superstitious ceremonies, in honour of their god. Thousands on thousands were assembled to perform these ido- latrous rites. In witnessing these scenes, I felt more than ever the blessedness, the superior excel- lence of the Christian religion.
Tne Hindoos are very well formed, straight black hair, small, near a copper colour. Their dress is cool and becoming. It consists of white muslins, or cotton cloth wrapped about them. Some wear white muslin turbans.
I shall write you again, my dear brother, by the Caravan, and otber vessels which will shortly sail to America. 1 can then give you a more correct history of the Hindoos, the manners and customs of this country, ts;c
Yuu will wish to know whether I regret coming to this distant land. / do not ; but feel an increas- ing satisfaction, in thinking of my arduous under- taking. Since I have been an eye-witness of the idolatry and wretchedness of the Asiatics ; and find it confirmed by the long experience of the Bap- tist missionaries, whose names will be remembered with honour by the latest generations, that females greatly promote the happiness and usefulness of missionaries, I am inclined to bless God for bring- ing me here. I have not as yet had sufficient trials to shake my faith. Providence has smiled upon us, and we know but little of the hardships of a mission. But we shall shortly leave these abodes of peace and security, and enter upon that self-de- nying life among a savage people, upon which we calculated when we left our native country. It is not determined where our future lot will be cast.
With respect to my connexion with Mr. Newell, let me tell you that I am, and ever have been, per- fectly satisued with my choice. He is all that I could wish; affectionate, obliging, attentive, and in
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one word, every way deserving of my strongest at- tachment. It shall be my study through life, to render him happy and useful in the fatiguing path which he has selected. Oh that God would grant me the accomplishment of my wishes in this re- spect !
1 have enjoyed far better health than I expected, when I left home. I have been miraculously sup- ported through the fatigues of our tedious voyage. This is the rainy, hot season, and the most un- healthy in the year, but I think 1 never felt better in America ; though many around us are suddenly dropping into eternity. There have been ten deaths in the mission family the last year. This is a sickly, dying clime.
You are probably stillt at New Haven, I hope making great proficiency in your studies, and pre- paring for eminent usefulness in the world. Oh, my brother, shall we meet in heaven, or shall we be separated for ever? Let us be solicitous to ob- tain an interest in Jesus, whatever else we lose. When the glad tidings reach this distant land, that a brother of mine, dear to my heart, has been re- deemed from eternal woe, and become a disciple of the blessed Immanuel; O, how will this delight- ful intelligence make me rejoice! how it will glad- den the days of separation ! I long to see our dear mother. Do your utmost, my dear John, to make her happy. The thought of meeting her in a world where there will be no parting, is sweet. All my be- loved brothers and sisters will ever be dear to me. I cannot tell you how much I think of you all. I feel much happier than ever I expected to feel in this heathen land. I am glad I came here; I am glad that our dear mamma was so willing to part with me, and that no opposition prevailed with me to relinquish the undertaking.
Let me hear from you, my dear, by every vessel bound to Asia. You know not how large a part of my happiness will consist in receiving letters from
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my American friends. Every particular will be interesting. For the present I must bid you fare. well. May you be distinguished for your attach- ment to the cause of Jesus, and be made an emi- nent blessiDg to your dear friends, and to the world. Oh that by sanctifying grace you might shine as a Btar of the first magnitude in heaven, when dis- missed from this life of toil and pain. Farewell, my dear, my ever dear brotl.er, a short farewell. While I live, I shall ever find pleasure in subscrib- ing myself your affectionate sister,
Harriet Newell.
extract from a letter to her sister m., at charleston's.
Seranipore, June, 1SI2.
I HAVE found, my dear sister, that the trifling afflictions I have already had, have been more sanc- tified to me, than all the prosperity of my former life. They have taught me that this is a state of discipline, that permanent bliss must proceed from God alone, and that heaven is the only rest that re- mains for the children of God.
While I write, I hear the dear Christian natives singing one of Zion's songs in the mission chapel. The sounds are melodious; they remind me of that glorious day, when the children of Jesus, collected from Christian and heathen lands, will sing the song of Moses and the Lamb, on the blest plains of the New Jerusalem.
LETTER TO MRS. C, OF BOSTON.
Calcutta, June, 1612. The last request of my dear Mrs. C. (when quit- ting the beloved land of my nativity), and the sin- cere affection which I feel for her, are my principal inducements for ranking her among the number of my American correspondents.
1 have witnessed scenes this morninc, calculated
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to excite the most lively sensations of compassion in the feeling mind. My heart, though so often a stranger to pity, has been pained within me. Weep, O my soul, over the forlorn state of the benighted heathen ; and, O that the friends of Immanuel in my Christian country would shake off their criminal slothfulness, and arise for the help of the Lord against the mighty, in lands where the prince of darkness has long been adored. The worship of the great god of the Hindoos has this day been celebrated. We were apprised yesterday at sun-set of its near commencement, by the universal rejoic- ing of the natives, which lasted through the night. This morning we went in a budgerow to see the worship. Between fifteen and twenty thousand worshippers were assembled. The iuolJuggernaut was taken from his pagoda, or temple, ana bathed in some water taken from the river Ganges, and then replaced in his former situation with shouts of joy and praise. This I did net see, the crowd was so great. After this, the people repaired to the river side, where they bathed in the- sacred waters, said their prayers, counted their fingerst poured the muddy water down their infants' throats, and performed many other superstitious ceremonies with the utmost solemnity, and with countenances indicative of the sincerity of their hearts. Many of the females were decked with garlands of flowers, nose-jewels, large rings round their wrists, &c. Some deformed wretches and cripples attracted our attention, and excited our compassion. One man, bent almost to the grouud, was supported by two of his companions, to the boly Ganges. There he doubtless hoped to wash away the pollution of his heart, igdorant of the blood of Jesus, which does indeed cleanse from all sin. Oh ! that an abler pen than mine would delineate to my dear Mrs. C. this idol worship. Surely her pious heart would be filled with tender sympathy for these benighted Asiatics, and her prayers would become more con- stant, more fervent, for the introduction and spread
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of the blessed gospel among them. Gladly would American belie vers leave the healthy civilized land of their birth, and spend their lives in preaching Jesus to the natives of India, did they but know how wretched, how ignorant, they are, and how greatly they need the gospel. Do Christians feel the value of that gospel which bringeth salvation? Let us leave the melancholy subject, and turn to one calculated to fill our minds with holy joy and devout thanksgivings to God. In this land of dark- ness, where the enemy of souls reigns triumphant, I see the blessedness of the Christian religion. Yes, my friend, there is in heathen Asia a favoured spot, where the darknessof heathenism is scattered, and the benign influences of the Holy Spirit are felt. Here Jesus has a people formed for his praise, re- deemed by his precious blood from eternal woe, and made heirs of bliss everlasting. * Bless the Lord, O our souls, and all that is within us, bless and praise his holy name/ Last sabbath afternoon I shall ever remember with peculiar emotions. Mr. Ward, a missionary blessed and beloved of our God, preached in Bengalee to a large collection of Hin- doos and Mahometans. The dearconverted natives appeared to enjoy the precious season greatly. To hear them join in singing one of Zion's songs ; to see them kneel before the throne of Almighty grace, and listen with eagerness to the word of life, was sufficient to draw tears of joy from eyes which never wept before. After service, each dear Christian Hindoo of both sexes came to us with looks expres- sive of their joy to see new missionaries; and, offer- ing us their hands, they seemed to bid us a hearty welcome. 1 said to myself, such a sight as this would eternally silence the scruples, and the cri- minal opposition to missions, of every real believer. "While such persons would intercede for the success of missionaries, and praise the Lord for what he has already done for these once degraded wretches, they would weep and repent in dust and ashes for their former criminality. Oh! that every American.
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might be prevented by sovereign grace from oppos- ing or discouraging those who feel willing to engage in this work, lest the blood of the heathen, at the last day, should be required at their guilty hands.
Last evening, while thousands were preparing for the impure and idolatrous worship of Juggernaut, the native Christians assembled at the missionary chapel for prayer. Their engagedness in prayer, though I could not understand a word they said, made a deep impression on my mind.
TO MISS S. H., OF ANDOVER.
Serampore, June 27, 1S12. I HAVE taken my pen with an intention of writing my dear Miss H. a very long letter. I know she will not expect the wife of a missionary to study correctness of style, or to make her hand-writing appear beautiful ; the easy, unreserved, unstudied style of a friend will better suit her. ' They that cross the ocean, change their climate, but not their minds' This is confirmed by my own experience. In this distant heathen land, far from the dear spot of my birth, my attachment to my American friends is as strong as ever. Those whom I once loved, I now sincerely, strongly love, though the anticipa- tion of meeting them aeain in this world is totally relinquished. But would you infer from this, that a separation from the friends I love so dearly, ren- ders me unhappy ? Far otherwise, my dear Miss H. Let me assure you (and do you remember it for the encouragement of those females who anticipate walking in the same path), that I never enjoyed more solid happiness, never was so free from dis- content and anxiety, as since I left my native coun- try. It is true I have suffered many privations and inconveniences, and some hardships ; but I have likewise had many blessings, and found valuable sources of pleasure, which I did not expect. Since I have been in India, every wish of my heart, as it respects temporal things, has been gratified. The voyage was tedious, but remarkably pleasant. We
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were blessed with a commander, who treated n with uniform respect, kindness, and attention. Our accommodations were good, and we spent many happy hours in our little rooms. The sight of land was very pleasant, as you will imagine. Sailing up the river Hooglv, we were delighted with the varie- gated charming scenes around us. \Vheu we reach- ed Calcutta, we were surrounded by the tawny natives, and half stunned with their perpetual chap- tering. We had some interesting conversation with the Circars, who could talk English, on board the vessel. While our astonishment was excited at hearing their superstitions, how could our hearts remain unaffected about their wretched state ! We were affectionately received by the good Dr. Carey, at his mansion at Calcutta, and treated with the greatest hospitality. Imagine to yourself a large stone house, with six lofty spacious keeping and lodging rooms, with the same numberof unimproved rooms below, such is the building. Imagine a small, bald-headed man of sixty ; such is the one whose name will be remembered to the latest generation. He is now advanced to a state of honour, with six thousand dollars a year. We accepted his invitation to visit the mission family at Serarapore; took a boat, and at eleven the next evening reached the happy dwelling of these friends of Immanuel. Here peace and plenty dwell, and we almost forget that we are in a laud of pagan darkness. Dr. Carey's wife is ill; he has only one son residing with him, who has lately commenced preaching, aged sixteen. Felix is stationed at Rangoon, where he has lately married a native; William is at Cutwa; Jabez is saidying law at Calcutta. Mr. Ward superintends the printing. Mrs. Ward has the care of providing for the whole mission family. Dr. and Id rs. Matsh- man are engaged in schools. Mrs. Marshman has had twelve children; six are dead. She lias now thirteen, six of her own, and seten adopted ones. These schools are productive of much good.
We attended the worship of the great god of the
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Hindoos a fortnight since. The idol was taken from his temple, and bathed in the sacred waters of the Ganges. Here were thousands of our fellow- creatures, washing in the river, expecting to wash away their sins. A sight which will not admit of description. My heart, if insensible as steel before, was pained within me, when witnessing such a scene. Oh, the beauty of the gospel of Jesus ! Shall a Christian be found in America, who is opposed to missions? Forbid it, Heaven! To-day the great Jug- gernaut is removed from his temple, placed on his car, and drawn in triumph through the assembled mass of worshippers. Some will probably sacrifice their lives, and this only three miles distant from Serampore. While writing, I hear the drum, and the instruments of idol music.
July 21. I have only time to tell my dear Miss H. that I shall this day leave Calcutta for the Isle of France. I have not time to read the above, but send it full of errors. Do write me ; do let me hear soon from all my American friends.
In the greatest haste, yours, H. NEW ELL. Love to dear Mr. and Mrs. W.
TO HER SISTER E. Mission-house, Serampore, July 14, 1612. HOW is my dear, ever dear Elizabeth? Happy, I would hope, in the possession of every temporal blessing heart can wish, and in the still richer blessings of the gospel. To tell you that I long ar- dently to see you, would be only saying what you already know. Though at a great distance from you, the ties are still strong which unite me to you. Never shall I cease to love you. I have given our dear mother many particulars, respecting my past and present situation and prospects. Such is our unsettled state at present, that I can say little or nothing to any one. The Harmony has not yet arrived, we are daily expecting her. No determi- nation can be made without the other brethren. The East India Company have ordered us to return
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to America. We have relinquished the idea of sta- tioning a mission at Burmah entirely. Several other places have been thought of, but it is still uncertain where we shall go. You will, perhaps, hardly credit me, when I tell you, that it is fully as expensive living here as in America. I am dis- appointed greatly in this respect. Some things are cheap \ others very dear. As soon as we fix upon a station, I am positive I shall write you to send me a box of necessaries from America. Tell mamma that my bed-quilt I shall value very highly. India calico bears the same price here as in America. English calicoes, an enormous price. Common English stockings between three and four rupees. The country stockings one rupee, and they are not worth half that. Some articles of provision are very high, and likewise house rent-, and yet we are told that no where in Asia can we live so cheap as here. We have excellent accommodations at the Mission-house; — indeed we have every thing at present to make us happy. We shall remove to some rooms in the garden, when the Harmony ar- rives, where all our brethren will be invited to stay till we leave Bengal. I love these dear mission- aries very much. I never expected so many kind- nesses from them. Mrs. Marshman has a lovely school of English young ladies, where they are in- structed in embroidery, working muslin, and various other things. Miss Susan Marshman of fourteen, is studying Latin, Greek, and Hebrew. Mrs. Ward is a motherly woman, very active and kind. Miss Hobson, a niece of Br. C. from England, is here, a very pretty girl. Lieutenant Moxon from the Mahratta country is likewise at the Mission-house. Mr. Carapeit Aratoon, the Armenian, and wife, are residing here. These, with Brs. Carey, Marsh- man, and Mr. Ward's families, and all the scholars, make the missions' family immensely large. Se- rampore is a charming place. We frequently walk out to admire its beauty. About a week since I went to Gundle Parry, with Mrs. Ward and family,
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to visit Mrs. Kemp, a charming woman, much like our dear Mrs. B. There I saw something of East- ern luxury, so much celebrated. We spent the day, returned home in the evening in the budgerow, saw two dead bodies burning on the shore, and a Ben- galee wedding. Yesterday we crossed the river at Barry-pore, and walked over the Governor Gene- ral's park; saw the wild beasts, variety of birds, &c. One of the most delightful places I ever saw. Artificial hills and dales supplied the want of real ones.
This is the rainy season, but very pleasant. It is sometimes excessively hot; but a shower of rain cools the air. The jackalls make a tremendous yell every night under our windows ; the noise is like a young child in great distress. I find the musquetos very troublesome, though not so large and nume- rous as I expected. I have not seen one snake yet. I bathe every day, which is very refreshing. I have not yet suffered half so much from the heat as I calculated. I can sew or read all day, except an hour or two at noon, very comfortably. I have often thought that you would like the climate of Bengal. I think I shall enjoy at least as good health here as in America. When I first came here, I disliked all the fruit of the country but pine- apples, and those made me ill. The mangoes, plan- tains, guavas, &c. were all alike disagreeable, but I love them all now.
We were obliged to submit to a great many incon- veniences on our passage, and were exposed to many dangers ; but on the whole, I think no mis- sionaries ever had a pleasanter voyage to the East Indies. I used to think when on the water, that I never should return to America again, let my cir- cumstances in Asia be as bad as they could be. But I think now, that the long tedious voyage would not prevent my returning, if nothing else prevented.
Mr. Robinson, one of the Baptist missionaries, married a lady from Calcutta, about fifteen years of
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age, and set sail for Java. They slept in the open air for a fortnight on deck; were out in a violent storm, and returned to Calcutta again. How diffe- rent this from our comfortable passage. Oh, that we might be ever grateful to God for past favours, and learn to trust Him for time to come. Surely we, above most others, have reason to say, * Hitherto hath the Lord helped us.'
I regret that time obliges me to be so short. But you shall have letters by the Caravan sufficiently long to make up for this short one. I will begin a journal on the morrow, and write in it every day, till I can send it you. I will not be so negligent again. I have many letters partly written to friends, but must leave them now. My time has been so much occupied since our arrival, that I have scarcely found leisure to write a line. I hope soon to be more at liberty.
Do give love to Sarah , Caroline, Moses, Charles, and Emily. I shall write them all by the Caravan, and shall expect letters from every one of them. Kiss them all for me. Dear, dear Elizabeth, must I leave you ? But I shall talk with you again in a week or two. Till then, and ever, l shall love to call you my dear sister, and subscribe myself
your Harriet.
TO A FEMALE FRIEND.
Many have been the changes through which I have passed, since I left my beloved country. I have found many precious sources of enjoyment, and have had some light afflictions. Our voyage was comparatively short, but very tedious.
But one week after we left the harbour, the vessel sprung a leak, and we were for some time under the apprehension of perishing. Many gales of wind threatened our vessel with instant destruc- tion ; but our gracious God preserved us from every danger, and brought us in safety to these sultry shores, where hundreds of missionaries are needed.
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Though a mission among the heathen is at- tended with many difficulties and discouragements, yet I do not feel sorry that I have joined the little company engaged in one. Since I have been here, I have been more decidedly positive than ever be- fore, that a pious female, deeply interested for the heathen, can greatly increase the usefulness of a missionary, and promote the good of the mission. Let me give you one instance of this truth. Mrs. Marshman has had twelve children ; (six are dead, and seven adopted ones fill their places.) With this numerous family, she has been engaged in a school for 13 years, consisting of 20, 30, 40, and some- times 50 children. These children are mostly half- cast, that is, their fathers are Europeans, their mo- thers natives. The good done in this school is in- calculable. The children are not only instructed in all the branches of education taught in our Ameri- can academies, but are particularly instructed in the religion of the blessed gospel. I drank tea with her and her little family a day or two since, under a large tree.
EXTRACTS FROM HER DIARY.
I FEEL more and more willing to be any thing, or to do any thing, that the cause of Jesus might be prospered. I am not discouraged by the trials of a missionary life.
July 15. Spent the greater part of this day in my room alone. Mr. N. went to Calcutta this morning, to carry letters to the captain of the ship Frances. — Went with Mrs. Ward to one of the mission build- ings in the garden, to see the rooms intended for us. There are four convenient pretty rooms, with bathing apartments, which they have kindly offered us and our missionary company.' In the afternoon called upon Mrs. M. — The good woman, as usual, busily engaged in her school. How firm a consti- tution must she have, to occupy a station attended with so many cares. At four P. M. another message from government was received. Mr. "N. and Mr. J.
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ordered to appear before the police again, to receive further commands. Mr. J. immediately took the buggy [chaise] and set out for Calcutta. In the evening went with Nancy, and Mrs. W.'s family, to the car of Juggernaut, which stands in the road. A huge building hve stories high ; images painted all over it ; two large horses, with a charioteer, made of wood, in front ; with many wheels, drawn by the natives with large cables. From the car we walked through the Bazar, [market] to the temple, where the great god of the Hindoos is now residing — a horrid object indeed ! Not allowed to enter the temple; but could see him plainly — a log of wood, painted red, with large hideous eyes. Little images were kept for sale in the Bazar. We walked through an immense crowd of Hindoos home. I was con- fused with the noise and bustle of the place, and excessively wearied with my long walk.
July 16. Called with Mrs. W. upon Mrs. Carapeit. the Armenian. Mr. Carapeit has gone with brother Kristno on a mission to Jessore — will be absent four weeks. Mrs. C. very ill ; can only talk Hindos- tanee. Brother J. returned about sunset. A letter from Mr. Newell. He states that a collection has been made for us among the friends of missions in Calcutta. Mr. Thomason presented 500 rupees already collected.
How dark and intricate are the ways of Provi- dence 1 We are ordered by government to leave the British territories, and return to America imme- diately. Captain H. will be ready to sail in three weeks. He has requested a clearance, but it has been absolutely refused him, unless we engage to leave India with him. Thus is our way hedged up ; thus are all our prospects blasted. We cannot feel that we are called in Providence to go to Birmah. Every account we have from that savage barbarous nation, confirms us in our opinion, that the way is not prepared for the spread of the gospel there. The viceroy would not hesitate to take away our lives for the smallest offence. The situation of a
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female is peculiarly hazardous. But where else can we go? Must we leave these heathen shores? Must we be the instruments of discouraging all the at- tempts of American Christians, to give these na- tions the word of life ? My spirit faints within me. These are trials great and unexpected.
9 o'clock. Just returned from family worship in the chapel. My depressed spirits are a little re- vived. The good Dr. Marshman felt deeply inte- rested for us, and has been interceding in our be- half. Not mine, O Lord, but thy will be done. I know that the gracious Redeemer will take care of his own cause, and provide for the wants of his little flock. How consoling this j I will trust him, and doubt no more.
July 17. I rind that writing has become quite pleasant now I am alone. My natural cheerfulness has returned, and I hope I shall never again make myself unhappy by anticipating future evils, and distrusting the care of my heavenly Father. I have been taking a solitary walk in the. mission garden ; a charming retreat from the bustle of the world: How happy would a walk with my dear absent mother, or dear brothers and sisters, make me ; and yet, much as I long for their society, I am not willing to return to them. Yes, I am positively unwilling to go to America, unless I am confident that God has no work for me to do here. How far preferable to me would be an obscure corner of this pagan land, where the wretched idolaters would listen to the gospel of Jesus, to all the glittering splendour of a civilized land.
July 18. My dear Mr. N. returned last evening fatigued in body and depressed in mind. There is now no alternative left but to return to America, or a settlement among some savage tribe, where our lives would be in constant danger. Lord, we are oppressed; graciously undertake for us. We know not which way to direct our steps. O that the Harmony would arrive. Insurmountable obstacle attend us on every side. Pity us, O ye friends so
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Itnmanuel ; pity our perplexed situation, and inter- cede with the prayer-hearing Redeemerfor direction in the path of duty.
A prayer-meeting in the mission chapel on our account — the dear Eaptist brethren deeply inte- rested for us. Fervent were their prayers that God would direct our steps! Four prayers offered, three hymns sung, one chapter read. The exorcises were all calculated to comfort our hearts.
I hear the distant sound of heathen voices. These miserable wretches are probably engaged in some act of idol worship ; perhaps in conveying the log of wood, which they call Juggernaut, to his former place of residence. A conference in the chapel this evening. The bell calls us to breakfast at eight in the morning. Immediately after, we have worship in the chapel. At half past one we dine, at seven drink tea, go directly to the chapel again. Sabbath morning and evening service in English; afternoon in Bengalee. Monthly prayer- meeting, Monday morning. Weekly prayer-meet- ing, Tuesday evening. A lecture for the children, Wednesday evening. A conference, Saturday evening.
With respect to the climate, manners of the people, &c. we have selected from Mrs. Newel l's journal the following particulars:
July 18. Excessively warm weather; but not so hot as the last July in America. The Bengal houses are made so as to admit all the air stirring. In the room where I now keep there a.re four large windows, the size of American doors, with Venetian blinds, and three folding doors. There are no glass win- dows. A bathing-house is commonly connected with each lodging-room, and verandas to walk in, in the cool of the day. The floors of the houses are made of stone j the partitions and walls white- washed.
July 20. From nine to eleven la*t evening I spent in wa'kinc in the garden with Mr. Newell. I do
MRS. NEWELL. 145
not suffer the least inconvenience from the evening air in this country. When on the ocean, we were very cautious of the least exposure ; but here, phy- sicians, and every one else, advise walking in the evening. Thejackalls are all that I am afraid of here.
Mr. Judson preached yesterday morning; Mr. Ward in the Bengalee, afternoon ; Mr. "Newell in the evening. Some good people from Calcutta present at worship, a large collection of hearers, all very attentive. Dr. Marshman returned to-day from Calcutta. Brought us some intelligence which has revived our spirits a little. He has had some conversation with Mr. Rickets, the secretary, about us. He said the Caravan should have leave to depart, if we would engage to leave the British territories, and that possibly we might have leave to go to the Isle of France or Madagascar. So then we shall not go to America in the Caravan, but wait the arrival of our dear brethren in the Harmony, and then conclude which way to direct our steps. The Lord is merciful, and full of compassion.
July 21. Intend going to Calcutta to-morrow, should the weather permit. I like the climate of Bengal much. I do not long for a seat by an Ame- rican fire-side, nor for pleasant winter-evenings, as I once thought I should ; but feel perfectly con- tented and satisfied with this hot, sultry weather. I am obliged to guard against heating my blood by walking in the sun, or by using too violent exercise. Fevers, and the prickly heat, are in consequence of this imprudence. Rosv cheeks are never seen in India, except where a lady uses paint.
July 24. Went early on Wednesday morning in the mission budgerow to Calcutta, in company with brother and sister Judson, Lieutenant Moxon, Miss Hobson, and Mr. Newell. Spent the day and night at Dr. Carey's house. The air of this confined place does not agree with me; a severe head-ache kept me all day within doors. Wednesday morning breakfasted with Captain Heard at his house. I
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hope my dear mother and other friends will have an opportunity of seeing and thanking him on his return for his kindness to us. Heard of Mr. Thom- son's death, of Madras. He had received positive orders from government to return to England, chargeable with no other crime than that of preach- ing the gospel. He has now gone to his everlasting home, and will trouble his opposers no more. Tired of the confusion and noise of Calcutta, I leached Serampore last evening. Found friends to welcome our return. Why these great favours? Mr. and Mrs. Robinson, Mr. and Mrs. Moore and family at the mission house. Mrs. R., the second wife of Mr. R., is about fifteen years of age, country born; i. e., has an English father, and native mo- ther. Mr. and Mrs. M., a charming couple, are stationed at Patna ; have come hither on account of their health.
July 25. I have become a little familiarized to the sound of the Bengalee language. It has become quite natural to say cheae for sugar, tony for water, &c. &c. One servant's name is Boxu, another Lol, another Golove, another Ram Done. Ram is the name of one of their gods, and is therefore often added to their own name.
July 26. I am happy in finding, that the expec- tations of my American friends, respecting my health in India, will not be disappointed. 1 think I can say, that I never felt so strong in the summer season, nor ever had such an excellent appetite, as since I have been here. The weather is some- times excessively hot and sultry, but to me not un- comfortable.
July 27 . Moved last Friday to a retired, pretty room in the garden. Letters from the brethren at the Isle of France. Rejoice to hear of their sale arrival there. Long to see them. They will un- doubtedly be here in a few days. How welcome will their arrival be to us. Mr. Newell, Mr. Judson, and Nancy (Mrs. Jmh-cn), went to Calcutta this morning. Another order f.ora government r
MRS. NEWELL. 147
last Saturday ; and now oar fate will be decided. I long to know the result. I do not intend to have one anxious feeling about our future destiny. I know that the cause of Zion is precious to the blessed Jesus, and that he will provide graciously for those who trust in him. I have spent the day alone.
July 28. I love dear Mrs. Ward more and more every day. She is remarkably obliging and kind to us. I go constantly to her for advice. Mr. Newell returned this afternoon from Calcutta. We have obtained liberty from the East India Com- pany to go to the Isle of France. A vessel will sail for that place next Saturday, commanded by Cap- tain Chimminant, a serious man. But he cannot accommodate us with a passage. No other vessel is expected to sail at present. We hear that the English Governor favours missions ; that a large field for usefulness is there opened; 18,000 inha- bitants ignorant of Jesus. Is not this the station that Providence has desigued for us? A door is open wide, shall we not enter and begin the glorious work? This must be a subject for fervent prayer.
July 29. A world of changes this ! Early this morning, brother Judson called at our room, unex- pectedly from Calcutta. Captain Chimminant has agreed to carry two of us in his vessel, to the Isle of France, for 600 rupees. Sail next Saturday. How can such a favourable opportunity be neglect- ed? Halted long between two opinions. If we go, we shall relinquish the pleasure of meeting the dear brethren, and sister Roxana(Mrs. Nott). Perhaps we shall never see them more. They may conclude to labour in some distant part of the Lord's vine- yard, and we be separated from them through life. I shall go far away, without one single female ac- quaintance ; the dangers of a long voyage must be hazarded at a critical period. But here let me stop, and review ail the way in which God has led me, since T left mv mother's house, and the land of mv
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birth. How have I been surrounded with rnercie? I What precious favours have I received ! And shall I doubt? Oh, no; my heart gladdens at the thought of commencing with my ever dear companion the missionary work, and of entering upon missionary trials and arduous engagements. So plain have been the leadings of Providence thus far, that I can- not doubt its intimations. I will go, leaning on the Lord, and depending on him for direction, support, and happiness. We shall leave the dear mission family at Serampore, when another rising sun dis- pels the darkness of the night. Have packed all our things to-day; fatigued much, and very sleepy. The wanderer and the stranger will, ere long, repose sweetly on the bosom of Jesus. It is sweet to be a stranger and a wanderer for such a friend as this. A valuable present from my dear Mrs. Marshman. Thus are all my wants well supplied. O, for more thankfulness! When will this heart of adamant be susceptible of stronger emotions of gratitude ? Bless the Lord, O my dear American friends, for his kindness to me a stranger in a strange land. O, pray that these abundant mercies may melt me into deep contrition.
July 30. I have this morning taken my leave of my dear Serampore friends. After a visit of si* weeks I regret parting with them exceedingly. But such are the changes of this changing world. Friends must be separated; the parting tear will often flow. How consoling the hope, that there is a world where separation will be for everunknown. A plea- sant time in going from Serampore to Calcutta in the budgerow, with brother Judson and Mr. Newell. Went onboard the ship; much pleased with the accommodations. Our birth is on deck, a cool, pretty place. Dined at Dr. Carey's; spent the afternoon at Mr. Myers's, a charming family, will- ing to assist us in every thing. Mr. and Mrs. Moore now residing with them. Drank tea with Mrs. Thomson, one of the kindest, best of women. More money collected for us. Mrs. T. has provided me
MRS. NEWELL. 149
-with many necessaries. Went to church with Mr. and Mrs. T. in the evening ; a most elegant church j heard Mr. T. preach.
TO HER SISTER C. My ev-er dear Sister, Serampore, July, 1812.
I CAN NOT forget you among the numerous friends I have in America, but must say a few words to you, though in great haste. Can it be possible that 1 shall never see you again in this world ? Have we then parted to meet no more this side eternity? We probably have. But what is this short separa- tion ? Nothing when compared to eternal separa- tion, which will take place at the last day, between the friends and enemies of Jesus. My dear C, listen, I entreat you, to a sister who loves you, who ar- dently wishes for your everlasting happiness. Make the Friend of sinners your friend, now while an opportunity is presented. Oh, let not the adversary of souls cheat you out of an interest in the Saviour ! Gladden the heart of your dear widowed mother, of saints and angels, by becoming a devout and holy follower of Jesus. Mamma has no child now to go with her to the sacramental supper; will not our dear C. renounce the world and all its vanities, embrace religion, and in the morning of her life openly consecrate herself to God ! Think how much good you might do among your dear brothers and sisters. Perhaps you might be made the instrument of rescuing them from endless death. It may possibly be that I may never write you again ; will you not then, my dear girl, seriously think of these things? 1 hope we shall meet in heaven after death, no more to part. But we never shall, unless our4hearts are renewed, and we are made the friends of Immanuel in the present life.
Farewell, my dear girl ; comfort the heart of your mother, and make her declining days as happy as possible. Do write me. From your sister
Harriet.
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EXTRACTS FROM A LETTER TO HER MOTHER. Dear Mother, Calcutta, July 31, 1812.
' "With a week's employment before me this day, 1 take my pen to write you a few lines. By reading my inclosed journal you will become acquainted with our reasons for leaving Bengal and going to the Isle of France. We sail early to-morrow morn- ing; have furniture and a thousand little neces- saries to get to-day/
' I go without one female companion ; but I go with renewed courage, rejoicing that the Lord has opened us away to work for him. 1 have received favours unmerited, unexpected, and great.'
* My health is really excellent ; I never felt so well in America/
After stating that the inhabitants of the Isle of France are chiefly French, she observes, * I long to engage in the great object for which I left my home. I shall begin to study the French language with Mr. N. on the passage. Capt. Chimminant talks French/
' Oh, for more ardent piety'/
The following letter from Mr. Newell to Mrs. Atwood, completes the affecting history of Mrs. Newell.
' Port Louis (Uleof France), Bee. 10, 1612.
* On account of the unhappy war between us and England; it is probable I shall have no opportunity for a long time of sending directly to America. 1 enclose this letter to Joseph Hardcastle, Esq. of London, depending on his benevolence to pay the postage at the General Post Office there, without which it would not be forwarded. I beg your par- ticular attention to this circumstance, because it is the reason why my letter is not longer, and also the reason why I do not write to my other friends. You will oblige me by informing my friends of
MRS. NEWELL. 151
this ; particularly Drs. Woods, Griffin, and Wor- cester.
' When I sit down to address you, my dear mo- ther, from this distant land, to me a la.id of stran- gers and a place of exile, a thousand tender thoughts arise in my mind, and naturally suggest such in- quiries as these : How is it now with that dear woman to whom I am indebted for my greatest earthly blessing — the mother of my dear Harriet? and mine too ; (for I must claim the privilege of considering you as my own dear mother.) Does the candle of the Lord still shine on her tabernacle, and is the voice of joy and praise yet heard in her dwelling ? — or, what is not improbable in this world of disappointment, has some new affliction, the death perhaps of a dear child, or of some other beloved friend, caused her heart again to bleed and her tears to flow? Ah! my mother, though we may live many years, and see good in them all, yet let us remember the days of darkness, for they too will be many. It is decreed by Infinite Wisdom alone, that through much tribulation we must enter into the kingdom of heaven. You, my dear mother, have had your share of adversity ; and I too have had mine. But we will not complain. Sanctified afflictions are the choicest favours of Heaven. They cure us of our vain and foolish expectations from the world, and teach our thoughts and affections to ascend and fix on joys that never die. I never longed so much to see you as I have these several days past. What would I now give to sit one hour by that dear fire-side, where I have tasted the most unalloyed pleasure that earth affords, and recount to you and the dear children, the perils, the toils, and the sufferings, through which I have passed since I left my native land. In this happy circle I should for a moment forget .
'Yes, my dear friends, I would tell you how God has disappointed our favourite schemes, and blasted our hopes of preaching Christ in India, and has sent us all awav from that extensive field of
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usefulness, with an intimation that he has nothing for us to do there, while he has suffered others to enter in and reap the harvest. I would tell how he has visited us all with sicktiess, and how he has afflicted me in particular by taking away the dear little babe which he gave us, the child of our pray- ers, of our hopes, of our tears. I would tell you — but, Oh ! shall I tell it or forbear?
' Have courage, my mother, God will support you under this trial; though it may for a time cause your very heart to bleed. Come then, let us min- gle our griefs, and weep together ; for she was dear to us both ; and she too is gone. Yes, Harriet, your lovely daughter is gone, and you will see her face no more! Harriet, my own dear Harriet, the ■wife of my youth, and the desire of my eyes, has bid me a last farewell, and left me to mourn and weep'. Yes, she is gone. I wiped the cold sweat of death from her pale, emaciated face, while we travelled together down to the entrance of the dark valley. There she took her upward flight, and I saw her ascend to the mansions of the blessed ! O Harriet! Harriet ! for thou wast very dear to me. Thy last sigh tore my heart asunder, and dissolved the charm which tied me to earth.
' But I must hasten to give you a more particular account of the repeated afflictions with which God has visited me.
' Harriet enjoyed good health from the time we. left you, until we embarked on our voyage from Calcutta to the Isle of France ; (excepting those slight complaints which are common to females in her situation.) During the week previous to our sailing for this place, she went through much fa- tigue in making numerous calls on those dear friends in Calcutta, who were anxious to see her, and who kindly furnished her with a large supply of those little things which she was soon expected to want, and which, on account of her succeeding illness, she would not have been able to prepare on the voyage. The fatigue of riding in a palan.-
MRS. NEWELL. 153
quin, in that unhealthy place, threw her into a fever, which commenced the day after we were on board. She was confined about a week to her couch, but afterward recovered, and enjoyed pretty good health. We left Calcutta on the 4th of Au- gust, but on account of contrary winds and bad weather, we were driven about in the Bay of Ben- gal without making much progress during the whole of that month. On or about the 27th, it was dis- covered that the vessel had sprung a leak; and on the 30th, the leak had increased to such an alarm- ing degree, as to render our situation extremely perilous. A consultation of the officers was called, and it was determined to put about immediately, and make the nearest port, which was Coringa, a small town on the Coromandel coast, about 60 miles south of Vizigapatam. We got safe into port on Saturday, Sept. 5th. The vessel was found to be in very bad case.'
[Four days before the arrival of the vessel in port, Mrs. Newell was seized with severe pains in the stomach and bowels, the disease of the country ; but in three days after going on shore, she was so far recovered as to write thus in her journal : ' Have been able to sit up most of the day. Be- gin to look around me a little; find myself again surrounded with Hindoo cottages, and the tawny natives as thick as bees/ On the 19th of Septem- ber they re-embarked, and Mrs. N. enjoyed com- fortable health till nearly three weeks after leaving Coringa, and about three weeks before reaching the the Isle of France, when she became the joyful mother of a fine healthy daughter. Four days after, in consequence of a severe storm of wind and rain, the child took cold, and died on the evening of the next day, after having been devoted to God in bap- tism.'
On the 14th of October, Mr. N. writes thus in his journal : * About eight o'clock last evening, our dear little Harriet expired in her mother's arms. A sweet child. Though she had been but five days
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with us, it was painful, inexpressibly painful, espe- cially to the mother, to part with her. Today, with many tears, we committed her to a watery grave. " So fades the lovely blooming flower/' &c. May God sanctify this bereavement to us, and Oh, may he spare my dear wife!'
About a week after Mrs. N.'s confinement, the symptoms of a consumption appeared. Though Mr. N. feared the worst, he did not consider her case as fatal, till the last fortnight of her life, which commenced about ten days after their arrival at the Isle of France. Mr. N. immediately on their arrival, called in the aid of Dr. Burke, the chief surgeon of the British army in that island, and of Dr. Walluz, a Danish physician, a friend with whom they had become acquainted at Serampore, who had lately buried his wife at Bengal, and had come to the Isle of France, for his health. There was but little alteration in Mrs. N.'s health (excepting that she gradually lost strength), till about a fort- night before her death, when she declined more rapidly, and all hope of her recovery was extin- guished. About four o'clock P. M. on Monday, the 30th of November, her eye-sight failed her, soon after which she calmly, and with apparent ease, expired, seven weeks and four days after her confinement. These events, with all the attending circumstances, are related by Mr. N. with great tenderness and particularity. He then proceeds as follows :]
'There, my dear mother, I have finished the story of Harriet's sufferings. Let us turn from the tale of woe to a brighter scene : one that will glad- den your heart, as I am sure it does mine. During this long series of sufferings, the bare recital of which must affect every feeling heart, she meekly yielded to the will of her heavenly Father, without one murmuring word. "My wicked heart," she writes, "is inclined to think it hard, that I should suffer such fatigue and hardship. 1 sinfully envy those whose lot it is to live in tranquillity on land.
MRS. NEWELL. 155
Happy people ! Ye know not the toils and trials of voyagers across the rough and stormy deep. Oh for a little Indian hut on land! But hush my war- ring passions ; it is for Jesus who sacrificed the joys of his Father's kingdom, and expired on a cross to redeem a fallen world, that thus I wander from place to place, and feel no where at home. How reviving the thought ! How great the consolation it yields to my sinking heart! I will cherish it, and yet be happy."
' In view of those sufferings which she afterward experienced, she writes thus : " I hope to reach the place of our destination in good health. But I feel no anxiety about that. I know that God orders every thing in the best possible manner. If He so orders events, that I should suffer pain and sick- ness on the stormy ocean, without a female friend, exposed to the greatest inconveniences, shall I re- pine, and think he deals hardly with me ? Oh no ! Let the severest trials and disappointments fall to my lot, guilty and weak as I am, yet I think I can rejoice in the Lord, and joy in the God of my sal- vation."
* In the first part of her sickness which succeeded the birth of our babe, she had some doubts, which occasionally interrupted her spiritual comfort ; but they were soon removed, and her mind was filled with that peace of God which passed all under- standing. When I asked her, a few days before she died, if she had any remaining doubts respecting her spiritual state, she answered with an emphasis, that she had none. During the whole of her sick- ness she talked in the most familiar manner, and with great delight, of the death and the glory that was to follow. When Dr. Burke one day told her, those were gloomy thoughts, she had better get rid of them ; she replied, that on the contrary they were to her cheering and joyful beyond what she could express. When I attempted to persuade her that she would recover (which I fondly hoped), it seemed to strike her like a disappointment. She
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•would say, " You ought rather to pray that I may depart, that T may be perfectly free from sin, and be where God is."
* Her mind was from day to day filled with the most comforting and delightful views of the cha- racter of God and Christ. She often requested me to talk, to her on these interesting subjects. She told me that her thoughts were so much confused, and her mind so much weakened, by the distress of body she had suffered, that she found it difficult steadily to pursue a train of thought on divine things, but that she continually looked to God and passively rested on him. She often spoke of meet- ing her friends in heaven. " Perhaps," said she, '* my dear mother has gone before me to heaven, and as soon as I leave this body I shall find myself with her." At another time she said, M We often talk of meeting our friends in heaven ; but what would heaven be with all our friends, if God were not there."
' She longed exceedingly for the brethren to ar- rive from India, that we might form ourselves into a church, and celebrate the dying love of Jesus once more before she died. Her desires to enjoy the benefit of this ordinance were so strong, and our situation so peculiar, that I thought a deviation from the usage of our churches in this instance would be justifiable-, and accordingly on the last sabbath in November, the day before she died, I gave her the symbols of the body and blood of our Lord ; and I trust it was a comfortable season to us both.
* A few days before she died, after one of those distressing turns of coughing and raising phlegm, which so rapidly wasted her strength, she called me to come and sit on the bed beside her, and receive her dying message to her friends. She observed, that her strength was quite exhausted, and she could say only a few words •, but feared she should not have another opportunity. " Tell my dear mother," said she, « how much Harriet loved her. Tell her to look to God and keep near to him, and he will
MRS. NEWELL. 157
support and comfort her in all her trials. I shall meet her in heaven, for surely she is one of the dear children of God." She then turned to her brothers and sisters. u Tell them/' said she, " from the lips of their dying sister, that there is nothing but religion worth living for. Oh ! exhort them to attend immediately to the care of their precious, immortal souls. Tell them not to delay repentance. The eldest of them will be anxious to know how I now feel with respect to missions. Tell them, and also my dear mother, that I have never regretted leaving my native land for the cause of Christ. Let my dear brothers and sisters know, that I love tbem to tbe last. I hope to meet them in heaven; but Oh, if I should not" — Here the tears burst from her eyes, and her sobs of grief at the thought of an eternal separation, expressed the feelings that were too big for utterance. After she had recovered a little from the shock, which these strong emotions had given to her whole frame, she attempted to speak of several other friends, but was obliged to sum up all she had to say in " Love and an affec- tionate farewell to them all." Within a day or two of her death, such conversation as the following passed between us.
' Should you not be willing to recover, and live a while longer here V
' On some accounts it would be desirable. I wish to do something for God before I die. But the ex- perience I have had of the deceitfulnessof my heart leads me to expect, that if I should recover, my future life would be much the same as my past has been, and I long to be perfectly free from sin. God has called me away before we have entered on the work of the mission, but the case of David affords me comfort; I have had it in my heart to do what I can for the heathen, and I hope God will accept me.'
' But what shall I do, when you are gone? How can I bear the separation?'
* Jesus will be your best friend, and our separa-
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tion will be short. We shall soon, very soon, meet- in a better world ; if I thought we should not, it would be painful indeed to part with you/ ' How does your past life appear to you now ?' ' Bad enough ; but that only makes the grace of Christ appear the more glorious.
Jesus, thy blood and righteousness
My beauty are, my heavenly
'.Midst flaming worlds in these array'd
With joy shall I lilt up ray head.'
* When I told her that she could not live through the next day, she replied," Oh, joyful news; I long to depart." Sometime after, 1 a«ked her, " How does death appear to you now?" She replied, " Glorious; truly welcome." During sabbath night she seemed to be a little wandering ; but the next morning she had her recollection perfectly. As I stood by her, I asked if she knew me. At first she made no answer. I said to her again, " My dear Harriet, do you know who I am!" " My dear Mr. Newell, my husband," was her reply; but in broken accents and a voice faltering in death.
' The last words which I remember, and which I think were the last she uttered relative to her de- parture, were these, "The pains, the groans, the dying strife." — " How long, O Lord, how long!"
' But I must stop, for I have already exceeded the bounds of a letter, though I have come far short ff doing justice to the dying deportment of this dear riend. Oh ! may my last end be like her's.— I would now proceed to discharge the duty, which Harriet's dying request imposed on me, of adminis- tering consolation to you, and of beseeching the dear children to make a right improvement of this afflicting dispensation ; but I hope the God of all consolation will himself wipe away your tears, and fill your heart with comfort ; and that Harriet's dying entreaties, and tears, and sighs, may be car- ried by the Spirit of Truth to the hearts of the chil- dren, and of her other young friends, and may fasten conviction on their minds, aud engage therrr ■ follow heT so far as site followed Christ. With
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these hopes, I must at present bid them all an af- fectionate farewell.
' Harriet offered to give me her property by will, but I declined accepting it. She then proposed bequeathing a part of it to the Board of Com- missioners, but my time was so completely taken up in attending on her, that I had no oppor- tunity of having a will duly executed till it was too late.
f The brethren in Bengal have written to me. The Harmony arrived in Calcutta a few days after I left there ; the brethren all ordered away, as we were. They are coming hither, and I daily expect them. Madagascar is the probable seat of the mission ; but this is not certain. Brother and sister Judson have become Baptists, have been immersed at Calcutta, and of course will not come with the rest. They have all been sick.
' Perhaps you may censure me, my dear mother, for leaving Serampore before Harriet's connne- ment. I wish I had time to answer you fully on this head ; but I can only say she did not expect to be confined short of three or four months from the time of our departure ; that the usual length of a voyage to the Isle of France, is not half that period ; that Bengal is the most sickly place in all India, and this is the most healthy spot in the eastern world ; and that it was the unanimous advice of all our friends that we should go. Brother Judson would then have embraced the opportunity had I declined it.
' I have now one request to make, and then I will close. Dr. Woods and Br. Griffin will both see this letter. I wish one of them to preach a sermon on this occasion ; that it be published ; and that an engraving, prepared from Harriet's miniature, be prefixed, and a short account of her sickness and death be added. Do let my request be granted. It will do good. It may be the means of convert- ing many of Harriet's dear young friends, and it will, I hope, some time or other reach r*M\
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* I thank Dr. Woods a thousand times for his sermon on the death of Mrs. Church, as well as for his missionary sermon, which last I received by way of Calcutta. My dear, dear mother, 1 must bid you farewell. God Almighty bless you, and reward you a hundred-fold for all your kindness to me. Do not forget me ; I shall never forget you. Write whenever you have opportunity. I send my love to all my acquaintance, and to all Harriet's friends, for her sake. My ever dear mother, I remain yours affectionately,
* Samuel Newell.'
Mrs. 31. Atwood.
Mr. Newell enclosed a fragment (from which the following sentences are taken), in Mrs. N/s own hand. It is the commencement of a letter which she began to write to her mother, but which she was never able to resume. During the former part of her voyage from Calcutta to the Isle of France, she wrote occasionally in her Diary, as appears by extracts made from it in the foregoing letter.
* Port Louis (Isle of France), Nov. 3, 1812.
' My ever dear Mother,
' Since I wrote you last I have been called by God to rejoice and weep; for afflictions and mercies have both alternately fallen to my lot. I address you now from a bed of great weakness, perhaps for the last time. Yes, my dear mamma, I feel this mud-walled cottage shake, and expect ere long to become an inhabitant of the world of spirits. Eternity, I feel, is just at hand. But let me give you some account of God's dealings with me, which I shall do at intervals, as strength will admit.'
[After mentioning the birth of a daughter, with fond anticipations of happiness, she adds the fol- lo%ving sentences, which are the last she wrote.]
' On the cabin floor, with no other attendant but
MRS. NEWELL. 161
my dear Mr. Newell, we could weep for joy, and call ourselves the happiest of the happy. But alas! on the evening of the fifth day, the dear object of our love was snatched from us by death, and on the day following committed to its watery grave. Heart-rending stroke to a parental heart !
Mine almost bled with deep anguish/
Mr. Newell, apprehending that the foregoing letter might not reach America, wrote a letter to Mr. A. Hardy, with a view to repeat the substance of what he had before written. Extracts from this letter are here added.
• Port Louis (Isle of France), Feb. 23, 1813.
t My dear Brother,
' I WROTE to our dear mother, Mrs. Atwood, in December, by uay of London. As that may fail, I shall briefly recapitulate some things which in that I stated at length. We were all ordered away from India by government. I embarked with Harriet for this place, in August. We had a most disastrous voyage. On the 8th of October, H. was delivered of a daughter, three weeks before we arrived here. Our dear babe took cold, and died suddenly on the 13th, five days old. Harriet took cold at the same time, being exposed to a violent storm of wind and rain. The cold settled on her lungs, and terminated in a consumption. She rapidly wasted away, and on the 30'h of November ended her days in this place. Two physicians beside myself, attended her during her sickness. It would be gratifying here to relate the exercises of her mind during her illness, and at the hour of her death ; but I have time only to say, that " she died rejoicing in the sure prospect of eternal life, through the. blood and righteousness of Jesus Christ." Thus, my dear brother, I have been called to lay my beloved Harriet in her lowly bed, within the short period of ten months from the day of our marriage. I have buried both my parents,
162 MEMOIRS OF MRS. NEWELL.
and several near relatives; but I never knew the bitterness of grief till I saw my dear wife expire. It is now about three months since she died ; and I feel my loss more deeply than when I followed her to the grave. I trust that this very afflicting stroke of Providence has been sanctified to me. I feel more like a pilgrim and stranger on earth, and I long to finish my work and be away. Bat I must not spend time in describing ray feelings on this mournful occasion ; you can easily imagine all that I would say.
* I have one request to make of yon— comfort our dear mother. Tell her that her dear Harriet never repented of any sacrifice she had made for Christ ; that on her dying bed, " she was com- forted with the thought of having it in her heart to do something for the heathen, though God had seen fit to take her away before we entered on our work." Tell that dear woman, that " Harriet's bones have taken possession of the promised land, and rest in glorious hope of the final and universal triumph of Jesus over the gods of this world."
' Give my love to all our friends. How glad should I be to see you all ! Tell little Aaron about my dear babe ; we called her Harriet Atwood in her baptism. Poor thing, she found a watery grave. Mary, my dear sister, do not grieve too much for Harriet ; she is well now. O may we be counted worthy to meet her in the mansions of the blessed ! Dear creature, she comforted me with this hope on her dying bed; and this blissful hope is worth more to me than all the wealth of India. Farewell.
' Samuel Newell/
APPENDIX.
No. I.
A Sermon delivered on occasion of the lamented Death of Mrs. Harriet Newell. By Leonard Woods, D. D.
• And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethen, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundred-fold ; and shall inherit everlasting life.'— Matt. xls. 29.
THE Scripture sums up all that is in the world under three heads ; ' the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the pride of life/ According to this, it has been common to make a threefold divi- sion of natural men ; the sensual, the covetous, and the ambitious. But our blessed Lord, in the text, exhibits a character widely different ; a character formed on another principle ; a character altogether superior to any thiag -which can result from man's unrenewed nature. The devoted Christian ' is born of the Spirit.' All his moral beauty, his usefulness, and enjoyment, are the work of divine grace.
But where shall we find the singular character exhibited in the text ? I answer, in every place, and in every condition of life, where we find true reli- gioD.
The poor cottager, far removed from public notice, and destined to the meanest employment, possesses this character. He gives himself and all that he has to the Lord. He loves Christ above his cottage, his food, and his rest, and is ready to part with them all for his sake. In the sight of God, the same poor man forsakes all for Christ. He who can forsake
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his sins, and resist the claims of corrupt passion, performs, to say the least, as difficult a service, as to forsake houses, brethren, and lands. The poor man, who has little to give, and much to bear, fre- quently stews the self-denying spirit of religion to the greatest advantage. In his heart often burns as pure a flame of love and zeal, as in the heart of an Apostle. It may not be visible to the world : but it is visible to him who seeth in secret. His prayers are animated by fervent affection for God and man ; and when he contributes his mite for the advance- ment of the Redeemer's kingdom, he does it with a heart large enough to part with millions.
The character here exhibited belongs to the devoted Christian who is possessed of opulence. Though he does not literally forsake houses and lands, he uses them for the glory of Christ. And as he supremely regards the divine glory, and uses the things of this world in subserviency to it, he is ready, when duty calls, to surrender them for the same object. To use riches for Christ, and to forsake them for Christ, evince the same elevation above self-interest, and the same devotednessto the cause of God. He then, who values his estate for Christ's sake, and uses it for the advancement of his cause, has the same disposition and character with those, who for the same object actually suffer the loss of all things. In heart he gives his earthly all to Christ ; saying with sincerity, HereLord, I am ; and here are my possessions. I yield them all to thee. I will either use tltem, or part ivith them, for thy sake, as thou wilt. Animated with such sentiments, he es- teems it comparatively loss, to do any thing with his property, which tends merely to secure his private advantage ; while he esteems that as the best use of his property, which tends most to advance the kingdom of Christ. It is for the sake of that king- dom that he values his earthly possessions. Take away that kingdom, and his possessions lose their highest worth.
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The character presented in the text clearly be- longs to every faithful minister of the gospel, even in the most peaceful days. Whatever may be his earthly prospects, he cheerfully resigns them for Christ's sake. The love of Christ bears him on. He declines no lahour, no sacrifice, no suffering. He foregoes indulgence and ease. In private he gives himself to reading, meditation, and prayer. In public, he preaches the word, and is instant in season, and out of season. Worldly pursuits he totally abandons, and sets his affections on the king- dom of Christ. * If I forget thee,' he says, ' O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning/ This character is strikingly exhibited by a devoted Christian in times of persecution. He feels as Paul did, when his friends, anxious for his safety, be- sought him not to go to Jerusalem. ' What mean ye/ he said, * to weep and to break mine heart? For I am ready not to be bound only, but also to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus/ Times of persecution and distress, have a favourable influence upon Christian character. In such sea- sons, as the prospect of earthly happiness is over- cast, the followers of Christ are led to a more se- rious contemplation of the heavenly inheritance, and naturally form a stronger and more operative attachment to that kingdom in which their all is contained. They are reduced to the necessity of feeling that they have no other interest, and no hope of enjoyment from any other quarter. Accord- ingly, they make a more unreserved surrender of every thing for Christ, and become more consistent and more decided in their religious character. In the discharge of difficult duties they have less hesitation. They are less ensnared by the friend- ship of the world, and less awed by its frowns. The prospect of suffering, as it becomes familiar to their minds, ceases to move them. To give up the in- terests and pleasures of the world for the sake of Christ, becomes habitual and easy. It costs them,
166 APPENDIX.
no struggle, and no sigh. They are prepared to encounter any trial, even a violent death, without fear or reluctance. Yea, they rejoice in their suf- ferings, and gladly fill up what is wanting of the afflictions of Christ in their flesh, for his body's sake, which is the church.
The Christian missionary, whose motives are as sublime as his office, forsakes ail for Christ in a remarkable sense. The proof which he gives of de- votion to Christ, is indeed, of the same nature with that which other Christians give ; hut it is higher in degree. Others forsake the world in affection, but enjoy it still. He renounces the enjoyment as well as the attachment. Other Christians esteem Christ above friends and possessions, and yet re- tain them far enough for the gratification of their natural affections. The missionary, who has a right spirit, counteracts and mortifies natural affection, by actually abandoning its dearest objects. The distinction in short is this: other Christians have a willingness to forsake all for Christ ; the mis- sionary actually forsakes all. The cause of Christ among the heathen possesses attractions above all other objects. It has the absolute control of his heart. He forsakes father and mother, house and land, not because he is wanting in affection for them, but because he loves Christ more. He forsakes them, because his heartburns with the holy desire, that Christ may have the heathen for his inherit- ance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for his possession.
The wife of a missionary , when influenced by the Spiritof Christ, gives still more remarkable evidence of self-denial and devotion : — evidence, I saw mord remarkable, because for her to forsake friends atid country, is an instance of greater self-denial. The tie, which binds her to her relatives and her home, is stronger. Her mind is more delicate in its con- struction ; more sensible to the tenderness of na- tural relations, and to the delights of domestic life.
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When, therefore, she forsakes all for the name of Christ, she makes a higher effort ; she offers a more costly sacrifice ; and thus furnishes a more conspi- cuous proof, that her love to Christ transcends all earthly affection.
My friends, have I been entertaining you with visions and dreams? Or have I been teaching realities ? If you admit the truth of the Bible, you must admit that men of the character above de- scribed, have existed in all ages of Christianity. Indeed, no other can be acknowledged as disciples of Christ. For he himself has declared, that who- soever forsaketh not all that he hath, cannot be his disciple. And again, to reach us in the most forci- ble manner, that our affection for all other objects must fall below our affection for him, he says ; — ' If any one come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.' However severe and impossible these conditions of discipleship may seem, they have often been performed. Yea, there are multitudes who daily perform them, and to whom the perform- ance appears not only just but pleasant. Multitudes, now on earth, have that supreme love for the Lord Jesus, which leaves little of the heart for any thing else. When they enlisted into the service of Christ, they engaged to follow him, though at the expense of every earthly interest. In the very act of faith, there is an implicit forsaking of all things for Christ. So that when the trial comes, and they really for- sake all things on his account, they only do in open act, what they did in heart before. When they are called to surrender all things, even life it- self, for Christ's sake, they are not called to per- form a new condition, to which they did not con- sent in the first exercise of faith. They made choice of Christ and his ways, Christ and his cross. Had they certainly known, when they first received Christ, that they did it at the expense of every
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earthly good, tbey would not have received him with any less cordiality and joy. Paul knew from the first, that he must sacrifice every thing for Christ; — which, in his view, was only parting with trifles to purchase a pearl of great price. ' What things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea, doubtless, and I count all things loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord ; for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them hut dung, that I may win Christ.' Such was the spirit and practice of the first Christians. They rejoiced that they were counted worthy to suffer for Christ. To honour him. they gladly took the spoiling of their goods, resigned their dearest friends, and endured perse- cution and death. There are those at the present day, who possess the same spirit; who willingly give up their worldly interest, and subject them- selves to the hatred of men, for the sake of their Lord; who willingly suffer reproach, and expose their name to be trampled under foot, that Christ may be magnified ; who hold nothing so dear, that they will not cast it away for Christ's sake.
Do you still ask, where such characters are to be found ? I answer again, wherever there are Chris- tians. You may fix your eye upon ministers of the gospel, upon ambassadors of Christ in pagan lands, and upon good men in the various walks of life, who give, I say not the same degree, but the same kind of evidence of devotion to Christ, with that which was given by the holy Apostles. And he who slights the evidence of supreme love to Christ, which those exhibit, would equally slight the evi- dence, which should be exhibted by a new race of Apostles and Martyrs.
The reward of Christians is as certain, as their devotion to Christ is sincere. They ' receive an hundred-fold in this present life/ Great peace have they who love God's law. The wicked, from the very nature of their affections, are like the troubled
APPENDIX. 169
sea when it cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt. But cordial devotion to Christ, imparts serenity and peace to the soul. How happy are they, who cast oif the slavery of passion, who have given up the vain cares and pursuits which distract the minds of worldlings, and yielded themselves wholly to God, resting in him as their all in all.
To them belongs the pleasure of benevolence. As this is their ruling affection, they must be happy in proportion as its object is promoted. That object, •which is primarily the prosperity and happiness of the kingdom of Christ, is absolutely secure. Chris- tians know it to be so, and therefore enjoy a peace, which no adversity can destroy. In all that they do, and in all that others do, to advance the wel- fare of the Redeemer's kingdom, they partake the purest pleasure. Let them see the glory of God displayed in the salvation of sinners ; let them see the church look forth as the morning ; let them en- joy communion with Christ; and they have enough. This is their object, their treasure, the heritage which they have chosen. The eternal glory of God, and the boundless good of his kingdom, is an object infinitely excellent, and worthy of supreme regard. The pleasures of those who are devoted to this glorious object, and see that it is perfectly secure, is a kind of divine pleasure, partaking of the nature of its divine and infinite object.
I am well aware, that these are unintelligible things to those who are destitute of religion. What does a man, without taste, know of the sweetness of the honey-comb? How can blindness perceive the pleasantness of light, or deafness the charms of music? But inquire of those who are entitled to speak on the subject,— inquire of fervent. Christians, what the rewards of self-denial are. With one voice they answer, that those who forsake all for Christ, receive an hundred-fold, even in this life.
It is the uniform method of divine grace, to give spiritual comfort to those who are freed from earthly
170 APPENDIX.
affection. The more the world is excluded from the hearts of believers, the more they are filled with all the fulness of God. Blessed exchange! What tongue can describe tbe happiness of the saints, when they part with alt that they have for the name of Christ, and He, their all-gracious Saviour and friend, takes up his dwelling in their hearts! Oh what peace! What quietness! What a begin- ning of heaven ! Ask the Apostles, in the midst of their labours, privations, and sufferings, whether they are losers on Christ's account? You hear them speaking of perpetual triumph, of comfort in tribulation, of joy unspeakable and full of glory. The lonely desert, through which, with weary steps, they travel, witnesses their joy. The dungeon where they are chained, witnesses their holy trans- ports, and hears their midnight praises. Perils in- numerable by land and sea, weariness and painful- ness, cold and hunger, prisons, stripes, and tortures, cannot deprive them of their joy.
But all the enjoyment of Christians in this life, is only the beginning of their blessedness. The consummation of it is the everlasting life, which they will inherit in the world to come. It will be a life of perfect holiness, and perfect, endless joy. They will live in the society of holy angels, and dwell in the presence of their blessed Lord, who loved them, and gave himself for them. While they behold his glory and enjoy his love, they will perfectly possess the object of all their desires. They wish for no higher happiness, than to enjoy God for ever. This is everlasting life. Give them this, and they ask no more.
I have been led to this train of reflections, by an event which has lately arrested the attention of the public, and caused sensations of unusal tenderness in the friends of Zion. You are aware that I refer to the lamented death of Mrs. Harriet Newell. I rejoice that, after the most intimate acquaintance with that excellent woman, I am able to say, that
APPENDIX. 171
she happily exemplified the character which I have drawn. From the uniform tenor of her conduct for several years, we are fully persuaded that she was one ' who forsook all for Christ,' and ' who received an hundred-fold in this present life/ And on the ground of God's immutable promise, we are equally persuaded, that she now inherits everlasting life in heaven.
But let God, our Saviour, have the glory of all the moral beauty which adorned her character. The temper of mind which she manifested, was contrary to every principle of human nature, while unre- newed. If she was indeed what she appeared to be, it was by the washing of regeneration, and the renewing of the Holy Ghost.
Before she indulged a hope that she was a subject of spiritual renovation, she had a long season of distressing conviction, careful self-examination, and earnest prayer. She could not admit the comfort- able conclusion, that she was ' born again,' before she was conscious that she had given herself to the Lord, and yielded sincere obedience to his holy commands.
Long before she thought her own salvation secure, she began to exercise an enlarged affection for the kingdom of Christ, and to be fervent in her prayers for the building up of Zion, and the salvation of the heathen. This became the prominent feature of her religion — the supreme object of her pursuit. A considerable time before a Foreign Mission from this country was contemplated, the universal diffu- sion of the Christian religion was the favourite sub- ject of her meditations and prayers.
When, in the course of Divine Providence, one of those, who had devoted themselves to the Foreign Mission, sought her as the companion of his labours and sufferings, her great concern was to discover the will of God. When she became satisfied respecting her duty, her determination was fixed. Here you come to the point where her character began to
172 APPENDIX.
assume a lustre which excited the admiration of all who shared her friendship. Through the grace of God, she entirely consecrated herself to the establish- vient oftJie kingdom of Christ in pagan lands. To this great and glorious object, all her thoughts and studies, her desires and prayers tended. It was with a view to this, that she considered her talents and acquirements of any special importance. Even her health and life seemed of little consequence to her, except in relation to this grand object.
But this entire self-devotion had no more tendency to blunt the sensibilities of her heart, or to extin- guish her natural affections, than the supreme love of God has in any case whatever. Every Christian is the subject of an affection, which holds an entire superiority over the natural affections, and makes them subservient to its purposes. Had our natural affections been designed as the highest principles of action, the Lord Jesus would never have set up another principle above them. Our dear departed friend did not more truly rise above the natural principles of action, than every Christian does, when he seeks the glory of God in the common business of life. The nature of her affections was the same with that of Christians generally. If there was a difference, it consisted in this, that she was more earnest and undivided in her attachment. It is to this circumstance, that we must trace her peculiar magnanimity, and elevation of spirit. As all the powers of her soul were united in one grand object, she rose to an uncommon pitch of energy ; and things, seemingly impossible to others, became practicable and easy to her.
In acquiring the force and decision of character, which she finally exhibited, it was of great import- ance, that the question of duty was fully settled in her own mind. Had not this been done, she must have been often turned aside from her object by secret misgivings of conscience. Her attachment to the object must have been weakened ; and every
APPENDIX. 173
step must have been taken haltingly and tremblingly. But by much deliberation, and many prayers to God for direction, the question of duty was at length settled ; after which, she proceeded without waver- ing. Devoted as she was to the cause of Christ, and borne on with a strong desire of advancing it in heathen lands, she was prepared for trials. The hardships and sufferings peculiar to the missionary life, became perfectly familiar. They were so closely associated in her mind with the glory of God, and the conversion of the heathen, and so con- tinually mingled with her purest affections and joys, that, instead of aversion and dread, they excited sensations of delight.
Is it possible that a character so elevated, should not be universally admired ? Is it possible that any should be found capable of admitting the thought, that conduct so noble, so Christ-like, was owing to a weak or misguided zeal ? Shall I stoop to notice so unworthy a surmise 1 If compassion to those who indulge it require, I will. Look, then, upon the Apostles, and primitive Christians, who were so united and consecrated to the Saviour, that they were willing to endure the greatest evils for his sake ; whose ardent love to him rendered every affliction light, and reconciled them to the agonies of a violent death. Will you urge the charge of misguided zeal against the holy Apostles ?
The character of Mrs. Newell, instead of being exposed to any dishonourable imputation, had an excellence above the reach of mere human nature. Behold a tender female, when all the sensibilities of the heart are most lively, united to friends and country by a thousand ties •, a female of refined education, with delightful prospects in her own country, behold her voluntarily resigning so many dear earthly objects, for a distant pagan land. But this fact becomes still more remarkable, when we consider the circumstances attending it. She made these sacrifices calmly ; with a sober deliberation ;
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in the exercise of those sensibilities which would bd overwhelming to mankind in general, and yet with steady, unyielding Jiminess ; and all this, not for wealth, or fame, or any earthly object, but ' to make known among the heathen the unsearchable riches of Christ/
I should blush to ofiera vindication of a character so fair and exalted as that of Harrii.t NEWELL, a lovely saint, who has finished her course, and gone to receive an unfading crown. Bat if there be any one base enough to envy such excellence, or rash enough to impute extravagance and f II v ; I would refer him to a case not wholly unlike the present. On a certain occasion, Mary came to Jesus, as he sat at meat, having an alabaster box of very precious ointment, and poured it on his head. Judas, and some others instigated by him, charged her with extravagance and waste. Bat Jesus approved her conduct, declared that she had wrought a good work, and that it should be known for a memorial of her, wherever the gospel should be preached in the whole world.
Do I still hear it said by some foolish calculator, that ' she threw herself away?' Bat do you not applaud the conduct of a man, who goes to the earth's end to gratify a worldly passion \ And can you think it reasonable to make greater sacrifices for self-interest, than for the kingdom of Christ? — 'Threw herself away!' What! Does a devoted Christian, who for the love of Jesus, forsakes all that she has, to receive an hundred-fold here, and life everlasting in heaven, throw herself away?
Should any ask, what that hundred-fold reward was, our appeal would be to herself, to her peace, and quietness, and joy in God. For several of the last months that she spent at home, and from the time of heT leaving America till her death, her religious enjoyment was almost constant, and at times elevated.
In her last interview with her beloved friends in
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America, and in the scene of final separation, the consolations of the Spirit supported her, and pro- duced not only a tender meekness and calmness of mind, but astonishing resolution. Her happy sere- nity continued through the dangers of a long voyage, and amid all the difficulties which befel her, after arriving in India. Her spiritual enjoyment was not materially interrupted by the various dis- tresses, which prevented the establishment of the mission ; nor by the sufferings she was subsequently called to endure ; no, not even by the pangs which rent her heart, over a dear infant child, wasting away with sickness, and soon committed to a watery grave. Through all this sorrow and suffering, the Lord was with her and gave her rest. During her last long and perilous voyage, separated by half the globe from the presence of a mother, whose pre- sence was more than ever needed, and without a single female companion, she could thus write: ' It is for Jesus, who sacrificed the joys of his Fa- ther's kingdom and expired on the cross to redeem a fallen world, that thus I wander from place to place, and feel no where at home. How reviving the thought ! How great the consolation it yields to my sinking heart! — Let the severest trials and disap- pointments fall to my lot, guilty and weak as I am, yet I think I can rejoice in the Lord, and joy in the God of my salvation.'
In her last illness, which was attended with many distressing circumstances, she possessed her soul in patience and peace. God was pleased to manifest himself to her, as he does not to the world. ' During her whole sickness, she talked in the most familiar manner, and with great delight, of death and the glory that was to follow/ At a certain time, being advised by a physician to cast off such gloomy thoughts, she replied,' those thoughts were cheering and joyful beyond what words could ex- press/ When it was intimated to her, that she could not live through another day; 'Oh joyful
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news!' she replied, ' I long to depart/ and added soon after, ' that death appeared to her truly wel- come and glorious/
But the simple narrative of her afflicted husband shews, better than any thing which I can say, that amid all the pain and languishment of sickness, and in the near view of death, she had that enjoyment of God her Saviour, and that hope of a blessed immortality, which was an hundred-fold better than all she had forsaken.
To her widowed mother, this is an affecting scene. But in the midst of your sorrows, dear Madam, for- get not what reason you have to be comforted. Remember the grace of God, which was manifested to your dear Harriet, which, we trust, effectually sanctified her heart, and brought her to love the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity. While you mourn for her earthly death, bless" God that you do not mourn over a child, who lived without God, and died without hope. Call to remembrance her duti- ful and pious temper; her resolved and peaceful mind in the parting hour; and the fortitude and resignation, which she afterward exercised under her various afflictions. Give thanks to God for the consolations which were afforded her through a languishing sickness. Her amiable and elevated conduct reflected honour upon the grace of God. Through all her sufferings, especially when her dissolution drew near, she displayed a character that was ripe for heaven.
It must afford you peculiar satisfaction to con- template the usefuhiess of her life. 'That life is long, which answers life's great end.' This v»as eminently the case with your beloved daughter. Had she lived in retirement, or moved in a small circle, her influence, though highly useful, must have been circumscribed. But now, her character has, by Divine Providence, been exhibited upon the most extensive theatre, and excited the attention and love of Christian nations. Yea, may we not
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hope, that her name will be remembered by the millions of Asia, whose salvation she so ardently desired, and that the savour of her piety will, through Divine grace, be salutary to pagan tribes yet unborn? Madam, what comforts are these! comforts which many mourning parents would gladly purchase with their lives. Let your sorrow then be mingled with praise. Render thanks to God, and magnify his name, that he has given you a daughter, so lovely in her character, so useful in her life, so resigned in her sufferings, so tranquil and happy in her death. It is better to be the parent of such a daughter, than to have brought forth a child to bear the sceptre of tbe eartb. Nor is she the less precious, or the less yours, because she is absent from the body and present with the Lord. Dwell upon these cheering thoughts, and enjoy these comforts ; and may all your surviving children enjoy them too. In her example, in her diary and letters, and in her dying counsels, she has left them a legacy, which cannot be too highly prized. Let me affectionately entreat you, my be- loved friends, to attend seriously to the weighty counsels, which you have received from the dying lips of a dear sister. In her name, in the name of her bereaved husband, by whose request I now ad- dress you, and in the name of her God and Sa- viour,*! do now, from this sacred place, repeat that solemn counsel. God Almighty open your hearts to receive the message.
* Tell them/ she said, ' tell them from the lips of their dying sister, that there is nothing but re- ligion worth living for. Oh exhort them to attend immediately to the care of their immortal souls, and not to delay repentance. Let my brothers and sis- ters know that I love them to the end. I hope to meet them in heaven. But Oh, if I should not/
No wonder that tears bursting from her eyes,
and her sobs of grief at the thought of an eternal
separation from you, prevented her saying more.
M
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' May the Spirit of truth carry her dying entreaties, and tears, and sighs to your hearts,' and engage you to follow her, as she followed Christ. This dear departed friend wished you to partake -with her the joys of salvation. She never repented of her undertaking; never regretted leaving her na- tive land for the cause of Christ. And could she return and live on earth again, instead of retracting her labours and sacrifices for the advancement of the Redeemer's cause, she would repair to him earlier, give up all for him more cheerfully, and serve him with greater zeal. Imitate her humility, self-denial, and faith, that you may again enjoy her society, and dwell with her for ever, where sorrow and death shall never enter.
In the death of Mrs. Newell, her husband sustains a loss, which no language can adequately describe, and no earthly good compensate. God, whose •ways are unsearchable, has taken from him the wife of his youth, a companion eminently qualified to aid him in, all his labours, to soothe him in all his sorrows, and to further the great work in which he is engaged. Had he nothing but earthly good to comfort him, a mind so quick to feel, would be overwhelmed with grief. But he will not forget the God of all comfort. He will remember that gracious Redeemer, who took him out of the hor- rible pit and miry clay ; who shed upon the dark- ness that once enveloped him, a cheering light; who inspired him with hope, and put it into his heart to preach salvation to those who are perish- ing for lack of vision. This mighty Redeemer will be the rock of his confidence, and a very present help in the time of trouble. It must be a subject of delightful recollection to our afflicted brother, that he has enjoyed the privilege of being united, in the dearest of all relations, with one of so amiable a temper, of an understanding so highly improved, of benevolence and piety so eminent, and so en- tirely devoted to the best of causes. He will also
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love to remember the favour which God has con- ferred upon his beloved partner, in enabling her to do and suffer so much, and permitting her to die thus early for the name of Jesus ; in permitting her to be the first martyr to the missionary cause from the American world ; in removing her after so short a warfare, from a world of sin and sorrow, and carrying her so quickly through a course of discipline, which prepared her for a crown of dis- tinguished glory. The God of Jacob bless and com- fort our dear brother, and give him strength ac- cording to his day. And may this severe trial be turned to the furtherance of the gospel among the heathen.
Friends of the missionary cause ! — Let not your hearts be troubled by the adverse circumstances which have attended the commencement of our Foreign Mission. Recollect the various hindrances, disappointments, and sufferings encountered by the Apostles, the first Missionaries of Christ; who yet were destined to spread the triumphs of his cross through the world. The experience of ages leads hs to expect that designs of great moment, espe- cially those which relate to the advancement of Christ's kingdom, will be opposed by mighty ob- stacles.
The adverse circumstances, therefore, which have attended the outset of our Foreign Mission, are far from presenting any discouragement. They rather afford new evidence, that this mission is to be numbered with all other enterprises, calculated to promote the honour of God and the welfare of men. These various trials, brethren, are doubtless intended not only to qualify missionaries for greater usefulness, but also to humble and purify all, who are labouring and praying for the conversion of the heathen. How effectually do these events teach us, that no human efforts can insure success, that the best qualifications of missionaries abroad, with the largest liberality and most glowing zeal of thou-
180 APPENDIX.
sands at home, will be of no efficacy, without the' blessing of God. When, by salutary discipline, he shall have brought his servants to exercise suitable humility and dependance, and in other respects prepared tbe way, no doubt he will give glorious success. The cause is his, and it is vain to de- pend for its prosperity on human exertions. The death of Mrs. Newell, instead of overcasting our prospects, will certainly turn the advantage of mis- sions. It will correct and instruct those who are labouring for the spread of the gospel. The publi- cation of her virtues will quicken and edify thou- sands. It will also make it apparent, that the mis- sionary cause has irresistible attractions for the most excellent characters. Her character will be identified with that holv cause. Henceforth, every one who remembers Harriet Newell, will remem- ber the Foreign Mission from Ayncrica. And every one who reads the history of this mission, will be sure to read tbe faithful record of her exemplary life and triumphant death. Thus, all her talents, the advantages of her education, the beauties of her mind, and the amiableness of her manners, her refined taste, her willingness to give up all that was dear to her in he* native land ; her fervent love to Christ, her desires and prayers for the advance- ment of his kingdom ; her patience and fortitude in suffering, and the divine consolations which she enjoyed, will all redound to the honour of that sacred cause, to which all she had was devoted. Her life, measured by months and years, was short; but far otherwise, when measured by what she achieved. She was the happy instrument of much good to the holv kingdom of Christ, which deserved all her affections and all her labours. She died in a glorious cause. Nor did she pray, and weep, and die in vain. Other causes may miscarry; but this will certainly triumph. The Lord God of Israel has pledged his perfections for its success. The time is at hand, when the various tribes of India, and
APPENDIX. 181
all the nations and kindreds of the earth, shall fall dowu before the King of Zion, and submit cheer- fully to his reign. A glorious work is to be done among the nations. Christ is to see the travail of his soul, and all his benevolent desires are to be satisfied. The infinite value of his atoniug blood is to be completely and universally illustrated ; and the full-orbed splendour of redeeming love is every where to shine forth. The power of God will soon accomplish a work, which, seen in distant pros- pect, has made many thousands now sleeping in Jesus, before leap for joy. Blessed are they who are destined to live, when the earth shall be filled with the glory of the Lord. And blessed are we, who live so near that day, and even begin to see its bright and glorious dawn. 0, Sun of Righte- ousness arise. Shine upon the dark places of the earth : illuminate all the world. Amen.
No. II.
A brief Account of the American Missions.
[From the Introduction to Dr. Woods' Sermon, preached 'on oc- casion of the Ordination o( the Rev. Messrs. Newell, Judson, Hall, Rice, and Nott, Missionaries to the heathen in Asia.']
It seems proper that in this place, some account should be given of the origin and progress of that missionary zeal, which has issued in sending mes- sengers of peace to publish the gospel in the eastern hemisphere.
It has been often said, within a few years past, that Christians in America ought to support mis- sions among the heathen in Africa or Asia ; but the writer of these paragraphs is not able to state, whether any young man of suitable public educa- tion seriously thought of engaging personally in such a mission earlier than about four years ago,
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About that time some of the young men mentioned just below, while pursuing their studies in different places, and unacquainted with each other, made missions among the heathens a subject of deliberate and prayerful contemplation, and resolved to de- vote themselves to this service, should Providence prepare the way. They considered it doubtful, however, whether they should have an opportunity of engaging in this employment; and in the mean time they sedulously examined and re-examined the subject, and used every advantage in their power to gain information respecting the state of the hea- then, and the encouragement to preach the gospel among them.
In the spring of 1810, these young gentlemen, with others who joined them, disclosed their views to the Professors in the Theological seminary at Andover, where they were then prosecuting their studies. In June following, they applied for advice and direction to the General Association of Mas- sachusetts Proper, then sitting at Bradford. The application was made in writing, and signed by Messrs. Adoniram Judson, Samuel Nott, Samuel J. Mills, and Samuel Newell. They state the his- tory of their views and feelings on the subject, and make several inquiries, with respect to which they solicit the advice of their fathers in the church. The Association appointed a Committee to make report on the application ; and in consequence of the re- port, proceeded to institute a Board of Commis- sioners for Foreign Missions, ' for the purpose of devising ways and means, and adopting and prose- cuting measures for promoting the spread of the gospel in heathen lands/ The board was composed of nine gentlemen well-known to the Christian public. The Association advised the young gen- tlemen, ' to wait the guidance of Providence in re- spect to their great and excellent design.' The Board of Commissioners held their first meeting at Farmington, (Con.) Sept. 5, 1810. After forming
APPENDIX. 183
a constitution, and appointing officers, they took measures to obtain the best information in their power, respecting the state of unevangelized na- tions ; highly approved the readiness of the young gentlemen at Andover to enter upon a Foreign Mission, and advised them to pursue their studies ' till further information relating to the missionary field should be obtained, and the finances of the institution should justify the appointment/ They also prepared and published an address on the sub- ject of missions.
The Board met again at "Worcester,Sept. 18, 1811. During the year which had elapsed, the Prudential Committee of the Board examined and approved of four young gentlemen, as future missionaries to the heathen j viz., Messrs. Judson, Nott, and Newell, above-named, and Mr. Gordon Hall, also a student at Andover. Mr, Mills had not finished his theological education, and was not examined with his brethren. The Committee also sent Mr. Judson to England, to confer with the Board of Directors of the London Missionary Society, and to procure important information on the subject of missions, which could not be so well procured in any other way. He was welcomed with great cor- diality by the Directors, who engaged to take him and his three brethren under their care, and to al- low them salaries, and employ them on a mission, if the funds of the American Board should not be competent to their support.
The Board appointed the four brethren, the above-named missionaries, * to labour in Asia, either in the Birman empire, in Surat, or in the Prince of Wales' Island, or elsewhere, as in the view of the Prudential Committee, Providence shall open the most favourable door ,' and advised them ' to wait the further intimation of Providence as to support from this country (America) in the proposed Foreign Mission/
At this meeting, Mr. James Richards and Ed-
184 APPENDIX.
ward Warren, students at Andover, offered them- selves to the Board for the missionary service, and were approved and taken under the patronage of the Board.
The missionary brethren were in the mean time fitting themselves for their future arduous employ- ment. Messrs. Newell and Hall attended courses of medical lectures both at Boston and Philadel- phia, in order to be more extensively useful among the heathen.
About the middle of January, 1812, it was found that a ship was soon to sail from Philadelphia to Calcutta. No time was to be lost. Robert Ralston, Esq. of Philadelphia, with that zeal for missions and for Christianity, which he has long manifested, took an active and very friendly part in facilitating the embarkation of the young men, both by procur- ing passages for them on very favourable terms, and by making a generous donation. Messrs. Newell and Kail hastened to meet their brethren at Salem, where it was determined by the Prudential Committee to have them ordained, and to send them immediately to the field of missionary labour. Mr. Luther Rice, who had been a student in the same theological seminary, and was then employed as a candidate for the ministry, offered himself to the Prudential Committee to join the mission, and was approved and accepted. The Prudential Com- mittee sent to several neighbouring churches, and convened a Council at Salem on the 6th of Febru- ary, at which time and place the five young gen- tlemen were solemnly consecrated to the service of God in the gospel ministry among the heathen. On this occasion the order of the public exercises was as follows: — The Rev. Dr. Griffin made the intro- ductory prayer ; the Rev. Dr. Woods preached the sermon from Psalm lxvii. ; the Rev. Dr. Morse offered the consecrating prayer ; the Rev. Dr. Spring delivered the charge ; the Rev. Dr. Wor- cester presented the right-hand of fellowship,
APPENDIX. 185
and the Rev. Dr. Spring made the concluding prayer.
It is confidently believed, that such impressions were made on the crowded auditory by the solem- nities of the day, as will be lasting and salutary. Three of the persons ordained, viz., Messrs. Nott, Hall, and Rice, set out on the same evening to go with all practicable haste to Philadelphia. The other two sailed with their wives from Salem, in the brig Caravan, on the morning of Wednesday, the 19th ultimo, commended by the prayers of mul- titudes to the gracious protection of God.
These transactions may justly be considered as forming a new and important era in the annals of the American churches, the era of foreign missions. It is natural to indulge in pleasing anticipations of the blessings which, with the Divine assistance, these missionaries may be the means of communi- cating to Asia. But while we leave the issue of this benevolent enterprise to the disposal of Infinite Wisdom, the good effects of these missionary exer- tions among ourselves ought to be mentioned with devout gratitude. Christians feel more sensibly than ever the value of their holy religion, while devoting their money and their time to extend its blessings to the heathen. Christians of different denominations, who love our Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity, experience the blessedness of uniting in this catholic labour of love.
A few additional particulars in regard to the missions in America, are blended with the state- ment contained in No. III.
186 APPENDIX.
No. III.
Some further Particulars respecting Mr. Newell and his Companions in India.
The preceding Memoir has excited no small interest in regard to the subsequent history of these missionaries, and particularly that of Mr. Newell. The following statement is therefore subjoined to the present Edition.
One month subsequent to the date of Mr. Newell's last letter, of 23d February, 1813, he left the Isle of France, and after a residence of about ten months at Columbo, in the Island of Ceylon, he embarked for Goa. On his way, he visited the Jewish syna- gogues at Cochin, and the Syrian church at Can- denad. On the 24th Feb. 1814, he arrived at Goa, where he visited most of the colleges, churches, and monasteries, saw the Vicar General of the Dominicans, dined with the superior of the Augus- tinians,and called on father Josephus, a Doloribus, the late Inquisitor, mentioned by Dr. Buchanan. He then found that the Inquisition had been lately abolished by order of the Prince Regent of Por- tugal ; though it was said that the Archbishop re- tained all the power which formerly lodged in the Court of the Inquisition.
Mr. Newell had now been more than two years separated from his brethren, and he had been most deeply afflicted ; but all of them had passed through many trying scenes. At this period, Messrs. Nott and Hall were at Bombay, and Mr. Newell, who had left Ceylon, with the intention of joining them, arrived there on the 2d of March.
On sabbath the 27th of this month, they, for the first time in a heathen land, enjoyed the pleasure of uniting together in celebrating their Redeemer's death. On this occasion, Mr. Newell says, ' There was a variety of circumstances attending this trans- action, which were peculiarly calculated to affect
APPENDIX. 187
our minds. We were naturally led to look back on all the way in which the Lord had led as, since we devoted ourselves to the missionary cause, and particularly since we came to this land. Two of our brethren who came.with us to this country, had been separated from us, and had gone to different and distant countries, and we expected to see them no more in this world. One of our little number had finished her work, and received an early re- lease from the pain and toils of the missionary pil- grimage : though, on our own account, we could not but mourn her absence, yet we had reason also to rejoice in the hope that she had entered into her rest, and although she could not return to us, yet if we were the children of God, we should go to her, and partake with her at the supper of the Lamb.' Next month (that is April, 1814), Messrs. Hall and Nott addressed a letter to the Society in America, in which they say, ' Our hopes are strong, and we look on the prospect with great delight. We have great reason to acknowledgethe kind attention paid to our circumstances and wishes by the Rev. Dr. Carey, the Rev. Mr. Thomason, and George Udney, Esq., acting as your Committee in Calcutta. To their efforts, under God, we are indebted for the hopes we now enjoy.' During the remainder of 1814, these three brethren were diligently employed in the requisite preparations and arrangements for the establishment of the Mission, and for the even- tual extension and success of their labours. The latest intelligence, received by way of America from Bombay, is dated 24th May, 1815. In^their circular letter, the American Board say, ' We can- not refrain from observing, that the writings and the conduct of our missionaries at Bombay, prove them to be possessed of rare qualifications for the office which they sustain. The memorials preferred to the Governor of that Presidency by Messrs. Nott and Hall, and the pious resignation, mingled with the most delicate sensibility, exhibited by Mr.
188 APPENDIX.
Newell, under the chastening hand of his Heavenly Father, have endeared these brethren to ail who feel an interest in the prosperity of the mission/
We are sorry to add that since the date of these accounts from America, Mr. Nott's declining state of health has obliged him to withdraw from the station, and return to America. He came by way of England, and has lately left it.
It now only remains to add a few particulars in regard to Messrs. Judson and Rice. These last, uniting themselves with the Serampore mission- aries,Mr. Judson joined Mr.Felix Carey at Rangoon in the Burman Empire, and Mr. Rice returned to America, with a view to increase the zeal of the American Baptists in the support of missions.
Soon after it became known in America, that Messrs. J. and R. had adopted the views of the Baptists, measures were taken by persons of that denomination in the United States to support them in India as their missionaries ; and before Mr. Rice returned, in September 1813, several Societies were established. He entered on a journey in the South- ern States — Auxiliary Societies were formed in all the states of the Union, &c. These measures ulti- mately led to the establishment of * the Baptist Missionary Convention and Board of Foreign Mis- sions.' Mr. Rice will ere long proceed again to India, and in the meanwhile Mr. and Mrs. Judson are labouring at Rangoon. Between the two latter and Mr. and Mrs. Newell, there evidently existed a strong attachment : and as the following letter alludes with so much feeling to the beloved Harriet, it cannot fail to interest the reader.
My dear Brother Newell, Rangoon, April 23, 1814.
A FEW days since, we received yours of Decem- ber 18th, the only one we have ever received since you left us at Port Louis. It brought fresh to my mind a recollection of scenes formerly enjoyed in our dear native country. Well do I remember our first interesting conversation on missions, and on
APPENDIX. 189
the probable events which awaited us in India. Well do I remember the dear parental habitation, where you were pleased to favour me with your confidence relative to a companion for life. And well do I remember the time, when I first carried your message to the mother of our dear Harriet, when the excellent woman exclaimed, with tears in her eyes, * I dare not, I cannot speak against it/ Those were happy days. Newell and Judson, Har- riet and Nancy, then were united in the strictest friendship, then anticipated spending their lives together in sharing the trials and toils, the pleasures and enjoyments of a missionary life. But alas ! behold us now ! In the Isle of France, solitary and alone, lies all that was once visible of the lovely Harriet. A melancholy wanderer on the Island of Ceylon is our brother Newell ; and the savage hea- then empire of Burmah is destined to be the future residence of Judson and Nancy. But is this sepa- ration to be for ever ? Shall we four never again enjoy social, happy intercourse ? No, my dear bro- ther, our separation is of short duration. There is a rest, a peaceful happy rest, where Jesus reigns, where we four soon shall meet to part no more. Forgive my gloomy feelings, or rather forgive my communicating them to you, whose memory, no doubt, is ever ready to furnish more than enough for your peace.
As Mr. Judson will not have time to write to you by this opportunity, I will endeavour to give you some idea of our situation here, and of our plans and prospects. We have found the country as we expected, in a most deplorable state, full of dark- ness, idolatry, and cruelty — full of commotion and uncertainty. We daily feel, that the existence and perpetuity of this mission, still in an infant state, depend, in a peculiar manner, on the interposing hand of Providence, and from this impression alone, we are encouraged still to remain. As it respects our temporal privations, use has made them
190 APPENDIX.
familiar and easy to be borne; they are of short duration, and when brought in competition with the ■woith of immortal souls, sink into nothing. We have no society , no dear Christian friends, and, with the exception of two or three sea captains who now and then call on us, we never see an European face. But then we are still happy in each other, still find that our own home is our best, our dearest friend. When we feel a disposition to sigh for the enjoy- ments of our native country, we turn our eyes on the miserable objects around. We behold some of them labouring hard for a scanty subsistence, op- pressed by an avaricious government, which is ever ready to seize what industry had hardly earned ; we behold others sick and diseased daily begging the few grains of rice, which, when obtained, are scarcely sufficient to protract their wretched exist- ence, and with no other habitation to screen them from the burning sun, or chilly rains, than what a small piece of cloth raised on four bamboos, under the shade of a tree, can afford. While we behold these scenes, we feel that we have all the comforts, and, in comparison, even the luxuries of life. We feel that our temporal cup of blessings is full, and runneth over. But is our temporal lot so much superior to theirs ? O how infinitely superior our spiritual blessings ! while they vainly imagine to purchase promotion in another state of existence, by strictly worshipping their idols and building pagodas, our hopes of future happiness are fixed on the Lamb of God who taketh away the sin of the world. When we have a realizing sense of these things, my dear brother, we forget our native coun- try and former enjoyments, feel contented and happy with our lot, with but one wish remaining, that of being instrumental of leading these Bur- mans to partake of the same source of happiness with ourselves.
Respecting our plans, we have at present but one, that of applying ourselves closely to the acquire-
APPENDIX. 191
sient of the language, and to have as little to do with government as possible. Mr. Carey has never yet preached in Burman ; but has made consider- able progress towards the completion of a grammar and dictionary, which are a great help to us. At present, however, his time is entirely taken up with government affairs. It is now almost a year since he was first ordered up to Ava, which time has been wholly occupied in the king's business. He is just returned from Bengal, is now making preparations for Ava, where he expects to form a new mission station. His family go with him, consequently we shall be alone, until the arrival of Mr. Rice, who, we hope, will be here in six or seven months.
Our progress in the language is slow, as it is pe- culiarly hard of acquisition. We can, however, read, write, and converse with tolerable ease ; and frequently spend whole evenings very pleasantly in conversing with our Burman friends. We have been very fortunate in procuring good teachers. Mr. Judson's teacher is a very learned man, was formerly a priest, and resided at court. He has a thorough knowledge of the grammatical construc- tion of the language ; likewise of the Palee, the learned language of the Burmans.
We are very anxious to hear from our dear bre- thren, Nott and Hall. We firmly believe they will yet be permitted to remain in India, notwithstand- ing their repeated difficulties. They have indeed had a trying time ; but, perhaps, it is to prepare them for greater usefulness. We have not as yet received our letters from America, or had the least intelligence what were the contents of yours. Ours were sent to the Isle of France, about the time we arrived at Madras, and the vessel which carried them has notbeen heard of since. You may easily judge of our feelings at this disappointment. Do write us, as soon as possible, the contents of yours, whom they were from, what news, &c. and if, con- venient, copy a few of the most interesting, and
192 APPENDIX.
send them to us. You can hardly farm an idea with what eagerness we receive every scrap of in- telligence from any part of the Christian world. "Write us long and frequent letters. Any thing re- specting yourself, or the other brethren, will be in- teresting to us. I do not ask you to excuse this long letter, for I doubt not your interest in our con- cerns. Pray for us, and be assured you are con- stantly remembered by
Your still affectionate sister,
Nancy Judson. N. B. Mr. Judson desires his love, and says you must receive this letter as from both of us.
To strengthen the hands of Mr. and Mrs. Judson, Mr: Hough with his wife and two children, and Mrs. C. W. White, sailed in December for Rangoon, on board the Benjamin Rush. In reporting this intel- ligence, the Editor of the Church missionary rerisicr says, * The Benjamin Rush belongs to Mr. Edward Thomson of Philadelphia, a prince among the mer- chants of the earth, whose praise is in all the churches. He has afforded Mr. and Mrs. H. and their two children, and Mrs. W. a passage to Cal- cutta, on their way to Rangoon. He has done more — he has ritted up two rooms for their accommodation, and supplied them with everything they are likely to need during the passage; for all which he refuses to accept the least remuneration; and has gene- rously offered the use of his vessels on any future occasions. The names of such excellent men as Ralston and Thomson should sound through the world ; not only because in the presence of the nations, their works so delightfully praise them ; but as examples, which all owners of the ships of Tarshish will, it is hoped, before long, delight to emulate/
THE END.
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