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WORKS OF FANCY AND IMAGINATION
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PHANTASTES
^ (faerie ^^omancc
3y GEORGE MAC DONALD, ll.d.
XDOX: ALEXANDER STRAHAN
5 HENRIETTA STREET, COVENT GARDEN
18S4
[^Al/ rights reserved]^
CONTENTS.
PHANTASTES: A FAERIE ROMANCt- XIII. {concluded) t. XXV.
PHANTASTES.
XIII. — Concluded. Who lives, ho dies ; who dies, he is alive.
XE evening, as he stood gazing on his treasure, he thought he saw a faint expression of self-consciousness on her countenance, as if she surmised that passionate eyes were fixed upon her. This grew ; till at last the red blood rose over her neck, and cheek, and brow. Cosmo's longing to approach her became almost delirious. This night she was dressed in an evening costume, resplendent with diamonds. This could add nothing to her oeauty, but it presented it in a new aspect ; enabled her
J PHANTASTES
loveliness to make a new manifestation of itself in a new embodiment. For essential beauty is infi- iiite ; and, as the soul of Nature needs an endless succession of varied forms to embody her loveli- ness, countless faces of beauty springing forth, not any two the same, at every one of her heart-throbs; so the individual form needs an infinite change of its environments, to enable it to uncover all the phases of its loveliness. Diamonds glittered from amidst her hair, half-hidden in its luxuriance, like stars through dark rain-clouds ; and the bracelets on her white arms flashed all the colours of a rain- bow of lightnings, as she lifted her sno\^'y hands to cover her burning face. But her beauty shone down all its adornment. " If I might have but one of her feet to kiss," thought Cosmo, "I should be content." Alas ! he deceived himself, for pas- sion is never content. Nor did he know that there are huo ways out of her enchanted house. But,
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 3
suddenly, as if the pang had been driven into his heart from without, reveaHng itself first in pain, and afterwards in definite form, the thought darted into his mind, " She has a lover somewhere. Re- membered words of his bring the colour on her face now. I am nowhere to her. She lives in another world all day, and all night, after she leaves me. Why does she come and make me love her, till I, a strong man, am too faint to look upon her more ? " He looked again, and her face was pale as a lily. A sorrowful compassion seemed to rebuke the glitter of the restless jewels, and the slow tears rose in her eyes. She left her room sooner this evening than \\-as her wont. Cosmo remained alone, with a feeling as if his bosom had been suddenly left empty and hollow, and the weight of the whble world was crushing in its walls. The next evening, for the first time since she began to come, she came not.
B 2
4 PHANTASTES:
And now Cosmo was in Vv-retched plight. Since the thought of a rival had occurred to him, he could not rest for a moment. More than ever he longed to see the lady face to face. He persuaded himself that il he but knew the worst he would be satisfied ; for then he could abandon Prague, and find that relief in constant motion, which is the hope of all active minds when invaded by distress. Meantime he waited with unspeakable anxiety for the next night, hoping she would return : but she did not appear. And now he fell really ill. Ral- lied by his fellow-students on his wretched looks, he ceased to attend the lectures. His engagements were neglected. He cared for nothing. The sky, with the great sun in it, was to him a heartless, buiTiing desert. The men and women in the streets tvere mere puppets, without motives in themselves, or interest to him. He saw them all as on the ever-changing field of a camera obscura. She —
A FAERIE KOMAXCE. 5
she alone and altogether — was his universe, his well of life, his incarnate good. For six even- ings she came not. Let his absorbing passion, and the slow fever that was consuming his brain, be his excuse for the resolution which he hac" taken and begun to execute, before that time had expired.
Reasoning with himself, that it must be by some enchantment connected with the mirror, that the form of the lady was to be seen in it, he deter- mined to attempt to turn to account what he had hitherto studied principally from curiosity. " For," said he to himself, "if a spell can force her presence in that glass (and she came unwillingly at first), may not a stronger spell, such as I know, espe cially with the aid of her half-presence in the mirror, if ever she appears again, compel her living form to come to me here ? If I do 'lei wrong, let love be m^ excuse. I want onlj- to
6 PHANTASTES:
know my doom from her own lips." He never doubted, all the time, that she was a real earthly woman ; or, rather, that there was a woman, who, somehow or other, threw this reflection of her iorm into the magic mirror.
He opened his secret drawer, took out his books of magic, lighted his lamp, and read and made notes from midnight till three in the morning, for three successive nights. Then he replaced his books ; and the next night went out in quest of the materials necessary for the conjuration. These were not easy to find ; for, in love-charms and all incantations of this nature, ingredients are employed scarcely fit to be mentioned, and for tlie thought even of which, in connection with her, he could only excuse himself on the score of his bitter need. At length he succeeded in procuring all he re- quired ; and on the seventh evening from that on which she had last appeared, he found himself
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 7
prepared for tlie exercise of unlawful and tyran- nical power.
He cleared the centre of the room ; stooped and drew a circle of red on the floor, around the spot where he stood ; wrote in the four quarters mys- tical signs, and numbers which were all powers of seven or nine ; examined the whole ring carefully, to see that no smallest break had occurred in the circumference ; and then rose from his bending posture. As he rose, the church clock struck seven ; and, just as she had appeared the first time, reluctaht, slow, and stately, glided in the lady. Cosmo trembled ; and when, turning, she revealed a countenance worn and wan, as with sickness or inward trouble, he grew faint, and felt as if he dared not proceed. But as he gazed on the face and form, which now possessed his whole soul, to the exclusion of all other joys and griefs, the longing to speak to her, to know tliat she
8 PHANTASTES .'
heard him, to hear from her one word in return, became so unendurable, that he suddenly and hastily resumed his preparations. Stepping care- fully from the circle, he put a small brazier into its centre. He then set fire to its contents of charcoal, and while it burned up, opened his window and seated himself, waiting, beside it.
Tt, was a sultry evening. The air was full of thunder. A sense of luxurious depression filled the brain. The sky seemed to have grown heavy, and to compress the air beneath it. A kind of purplish tinge pervaded the atmosphere, and through the open window came the scents of the distant fields, which all the vapours of the city could not quench. Soon the charcoal glowed. Cosmo sprinkled upon it the incense and other substances which he had compounded, and, step- ping \vithin the circle, turned his face from the brazier and towards the mirror. Then, fixing his
A FAERIE ROMANCE. q
eyes upon the face of the lady, he began with a trembling voice to repeat a powerful incantation. He had not gone far, before the lady grew pale ; and then, like a returning wave, the blood washed all its banks with its crimson tide, and she hid her face in her hands. Then he passed to a conjura- tion stronger yet. The lady rose and walked un- easily to and fro in her room. Another spell ; and she seemed seeking with her eyes for some object on which they wished to rest. At length it seemed as if she suddenly espied him ; for her eyes fixed themselves full and wide upon his, and she drew gradually, and somewhat unwillingly, close to her side of the mirror, just as if his eyes had fascinated her. Cosmo had never seen her so near before. Now at least, eyes met eyes ; but he could not quite understand the expression of hers. They were full of tender entreaty, but there was some- thing more that he could not interpret. Though
lo PH Ai\ TASTES. ■
his heart seemed to labour in his throat, he would allow no delight or agitation to turn him from his task. Looking still in her face, he passed on to the mightiest charm he knew. Suddenly the lady turned and walked out of the door of her rellccted chamber. A moment after, she entered his room with veritable presence ; and, forgetting all his precautions, he sprang from the charmed circle, and knelt before her. There she stood, the living lady of his passionate visions, alone beside him, in a thundery twilight, and the glow of a magic fire.
" Why," said the lady, with a trembling voice, "didst thou bring a poor maiden through the rainy streets alone ? "
"Because I am dying for love of thee; but I only brought thee from the mirror there."
"Ah, the mirror!" and she looked up at it, and shuddered. " Alas ! I am but a slave, while
A FAERIE ROMAXCE. ii
that mirror exists. But do not think it was the power of thy spells that drew me ; it was thy longing desire to see me, that beat at the door of my heart, till I was forced to yield."
" Canst thou love me then ? " said Cosmo, in a voice calm as death, but almost inarticulate with emotion.
"I do not know," she replied sadly; "that I cannot tell, so long as I am bewildered with en- chantments. It were indeed a joy too great, to lay my head on thy bosom and weep to death ; for I think thou lovest me, though I do not know ; — but--''
Cosmo rose from his knees.
"I love thee as — nay, I know not what — lor since I have loved thee, there is nothing else."
He seized her hand: she withdrew it.
" No, better not; I am in thy power, and therefore I may not."
la PHANTASTES:
She burst into tears, and, kneeling before liini in her turn, said —
"Cosmo, if thou lovest me, set me free, even from thyself: break the mirror."
" And shall I see thyself instead ? "
"That I cannot tell. I will not deceive thee; we may never meet again."
A fierce struggle arose in Cosmo's bosom. Now she was in his power. She did not dis- like him at least ; and he could see her when he would. To break the mirror would be to destroy his very life, to banish out of his uni- verse the only glory it possessed. The whole world would be but a prison, if he annihi- lated the one window that looked into the paradise of love. Not yet pure in love, he hesi- tated.
With a wail of sorrow, the lady rose to her feet. "Ah! he loves me not; he loves me not
.< FAERIE ROMANCE. 13
even as I love him ; and alas ! I care more for his love than even for the freedom I ask."
"I will not wait to be willing," cried Cosmo ; and sprang to the corner where tlie great sword stood.
Meantime it had grown veiy dark ; only the embers cast a red glow through the room. He seized the sword by the steel scabbard, and stood before the mirror ; but as he heaved a great blow at it with the heavy pommel, the blade slipped half-way out of the scabbard, and the pommel struck the wall above the mirror. At that moment, a terrible clap of thunder seemed to burst in the very room beside them ; and ere Cosmo could repeat the blow, he fell senseless on the hearth. When he came to himself, he found that the lady and the mirror had both disappeared, lie was seized with a brain fever, which kept him to his couch for weeks.
14 riJANTASTES :
When he recovered his reason, he began to think what could have become of the mirror. For the lady, he hoped she had found her way back as she came ; but as the mirror involved her fate with its own, he was more immediately anxious about that. He could not think she had carried it away. It was much too heavy, even if it had not been too firmly fixed in the wall, for her to re- move it. Then again, he remembered the thunder ; which made him believe that it was not the light- ning, but some other blow that had struck him down. He concluded that, either by supernatural agency, he having exposed himself to the vengeance ot the demons in leaving the circle of safety, or in some other mode, the mirror had probably found its way back to its former owner; and, horrible to think of, might have been by this time once more disposed of, delivering up the lady into the power of another man ; who, if he used his power no
A FAERIE ROMANCE. iS
worse than he himself had done, might yet give Cosmo abundant cause to curse the selfish in- decision which prevented him from shattering the mirror at once. Indeed, to think that she whom he loved, and who had prayed to him for freedom, should be still at the mercy, in some degree, of the possessor of the mirror, and was at least ex- posed to his constant observation, was in itself enough to madden a chary lover.
Anxiety to be well retarded his recovery; but at length he was able to creep abroad. He first made his way to the old broker's, pretending to be in search of something else. A laughing sneer on the creature's face convinced him that he knew all about it ; but he could not see it amongst his furniture, or get any information out of him as to what had become of it. He expressed the utmost surprise at hearing it had been stolen ; a surprise which Cosmo saw at once to be counterfeited;
,6 PHANTASTES :
while, at the same time, he fancied that the ol-i wretch was not at all anxious to have it mistaken for genuine. Full of distress, which he concealed as well as he could, he made many searches, but with no avail. Of course he could ask no ques- tions ; but he kept his ears awake for any remotest hint that might set him in a direction of search. He never went out without a short heavy hammer of steel about him, that he might shatter the mirror the moment he was made happy by the sight of his lost treasure, if ever that blessed mo- ment should arrive. Whether he should see the lady again, was now a thouglit altogether secon- dary, and postponed to the achievem.ent of her freedom. He wandered here and there, like an anxious ghost, pale and haggard ; gnawed ever at the heart by the thought of what she might be suffering — all from his fault.
One night, he mingled with a crowd that filled
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 17
the rooms of one of the most distinguished man- sions in the city ; for he accepted every invitation, that he might lose no chance, however poor, of obtaining some information that might expedite his discovery. Here he wandered about, listening to every stray word that he could catch, in the hope of a revelation. As he approached some ladies who were talking quietly in a comer, one said to another: " Have you heard of the strange illness of the Princess von Hohenweias?"
"Yes ; she has been ill for more than a year now. It b very sad for so fine a creature to have such a terrible malady. She was better foi some weeks lately, but within the last few days, the same attacks have returned, apparently accom- panied with more suffering than ever. It is altogether an inexplicable story."
" Is there a story connected with her ill-
i8 PHANTASTES :
•' I have only heard imperfect reports of it ; but V. is said that she gave offence some eighteen months ago to an old woman who had held an office of trust in the family, and who, after some incoherent threats, disappeared. This peculiar affection followed soon after. But the strangest part of the story is its association with the loss of an antique mirror, which stood in her dressing- room, and of which she constantly made use."
Here the speaker's voice sank to a whisper ; and Cosmo, although his very soul sat listening in his ears, could hear no more. He trembled too much to dare to address the ladies, even if it had been advisable to expose himself to their curiosity. The name of the Princess was well known to him, but he had never seen her ; except indeed it was she, which now he hardly doubted, who had knelt before him on that dreadful night. Fearful of attracting attention, for, from the weak state of his
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 19
health, he could not recover an appearance of calmness, he made his way to the open air, and reached his lodgings ; glad in this, that he at least knew where she lived, although he never dreamed of approaching her openly, even if he should be happy enough to free her from her hateful bondage. He hoped, too, that as he had unexpectedly learned so much, the other and far more important part might be revealed to him ere long.
" Have you seen Steinwald lately ? " *' No, I have not seen him for some time. He is almost a match for me at the rapier, and I sup- pose he thinks he needs no more lessons."
" I wonder what has become of him. I want to see him very much. Let me see : the last time I saw him, he was coming out of that old broker's den, to which, if you remember, you accompanied
»o PHANTASTES :
me once, to look at some armour. That is fully three weeks ago."
This hint was enough for Cosmo. Von Stein- wald was a man of influence in the court, well known for his reckless habits and fierce passions. The very possibility that the mirror should be in his possession was hell itself to Cosmo. But violent or hasty measures of any sort were most unlikely to succeed. All that he wanted was an opportunity of breaking the fatal glass; and to obtain this, he must bide his time. He revolved many plans in his mind, but without being able to fix upon a.iy.
At length, one evening, as he was passing the house of Von Steinwald, he saw the windows more than usually brilliant. He watched for a while and seeing that company began to arrive, hastened home, and dressed as richly as he could, in the hope of mingling with the guests un-
A FAhRlE ROMANCE. 21
questioned ; in effecting which, there could be no difficulty for a man of his carriage.
In a lofty, silent chamber, in another part of the city, lay a form more like marble than a living woman. The loveliness of death seemed frozen upon her face, for her lips were rigid, and her eyelids closed. Her long white hands were crossed over her breast, and no breathing dis- turbed their repose. Beside the dead, men speak in whispers, as if the deepest rest of all could be broken by the sound of a living voice. Just so, though the soul was evidently beyond the reach of all intimations from the senses, the two ladies, who sat beside her, spoke in the gentlest tones of subdued sorrow.
" She has Iain so for an hour."
" This cannot last long, I fear."
22 P/IANTASTES.
" How much thinner she has grown within the last few weeks! If she would only speak, and explain what she suffers, it would be better for her. f think she has visions in her trances, but nothing can induce her to refer to them when she is awake."
" Does she ever speak in these trances ? "
"I have never heard her; but they say she walks sometimes, and once put the whole house- hold in a terrible fright by disappearing for a whole hour, and returning drenched with rain, and almost dead with exhaustion and fright. But even then she would give no account of wliat had happened."
A scarce audible murmur from the yet motion- less lips of the lady here startled her attendants. After several ineffectual attempts at articulation, the word ^' Cosmo!" hwrst from her. Then she Uiy still as before ; but only for a moment. With
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 23
a wild crj', she sprang from the couch erect on the floor, flung her arms above her head, with clasped and straining liands, and, her wide eyes flashing with light, called aloud, with a voice exultant as that of a spirit bursting from a sepulchre, " I am free ! I am free ! I thank thee ! " Then she flung herself on the couch, and sobbed ; then rose, and paced wildly up and down the room, with gestures of mingled delight and anxiety. Then turning to her motionless attendants — "Quick, Lisa, my cloak and hood!" Then lower — "I must go to him. Make haste, Lisa ! You may come with me, if you will."
In another moment they were in the street, hurr}-ing along towards one of the bridges over the Moldau. The moon was near the zenith, and the streets were almost empty. The Princess soon outstripped her attendant, and was half-way over the bridge, before the other reached it.
24 PHANTASTES:
"Are you free, lady? The mirror is broken: are you free?"
The words were spoken close beside her, as she hurried on. She turned ; and there, leaning on the parapet in a recess of the bridge, stood Cosmo, in a splendid dress, but with a white and quivering face.
" Cosmo ! — I am free — and thy servant for ever. I was coming to you now."
" And I to you, for Death made me bold ; but I could get no further. Have 1 atoned at all ? Do I love you a little— truly ? "
" Ah, I know now that you love me, my Cosmo ; but what do you say about death ? "
He did not reply. His hand was pressed against his side. She looked more closely : the Ijlood was welling from between the fingers. She flung her arms around him with a faint bitter wail.
A FAERIE ROMANCE.
When Lisa came up, she found her mistress kneeling above a wan dead face, which smiled on in the spectral moonbeams.
And now I will say no more about these won- drous volumes ; though I could tell many a tale out of them, and could, perhaps, vaguely represent some entrancing thoughts of a deeper kind which I found %vithin them. From many a sultry noon till twilight, did I sit in that grand hall, buried and risen again in these old books. And I trust I have carried away in my soul some of the exhala- tions of their undying leaves. In after hours of deserved or needful sorrow, portions of what I read there have often come to me again, with an unexpected comforting ; which was not fruitless, even though the comfort might seem in itseL groundless and vain.
PHANTASTES
XIV.
Your gallery
Have we pass'd through, not without much content
In many singularities ; but we saw not
That which my daughter came to look upon,
The statue of her mother.
Wintef's Tale.
It seemed to me strange, that all this time I had heard no music in the fairy palace. I was convinced there must be music in it, but that my sense was as yet too gross to receive the influence of those mysterious motions that beget sound. Sometimes I felt sure, from the way the few figures of which I got such transitory glimpses passed me, or glided into vacancy before me, that they were moving to the law of music ; and, in fact, several times I fancied for a moment that I heard a few wondrous tones coming I knew not whence. But
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 27
they did not last long enough to convince me that I had heard them with the bodily sense. Such as they were, however, they took strange liberties with me, causing me to burst suddenly into tears, of which there was no presence to make me ashamed, or casting me into a kind of trance of speechless delight, which, passing as suddenly, left me faint and longing for more.
Now, on an evening, before I had been a week in the palace, I was wandering through one lighted arcade and corridor after another. At length I arrived, through a door that closed behind me, in another vast hall of the palace. It was filled with a subdued crimson light ; by which I saw that slender pillars of black, built close to walls of white marble, rose to a great height, and then, dividing into innumerable divergent arches, sup- ported a roof, like the walls, of white marble, upon which the arches intersected intricately.
zS PHANTASTES:
forming a fietting of black upon the white, like the network of a skeleton-leaf. The floor was black. Between several pairs of the pillars upon every side, the place of the wall behind was occupied by a crimson curtain of thick silk, hang- ing in heavy and rich folds. Behind each of these curtains burned a powerful light, and these were the sources of the glow that filled the hall. A peculiar delicious odour pervaded the place. As soon as I entered, the old inspiration seemed to return to me, for I felt a strong impulse to sing; or rather, it seemed as if some one else was singing a song in my soul, which wanted to come forth at my lips, imbodied in my breath. But I kept silence ; and feeling somewhat overcome by the red light and the perfume, as well as by the emotion within me, and seeing at one end of the hall a great crimson chair, more like a throne than a chair, beside a table of white marble, I went to
A FAERIE ROMANCE. zq
it, and, throwing myself in it, gave myself up to a succession of images of bewildering beauty, which passed before my inward eye, in a long and occa- sionally crowded train. Here I sat for hours, I suppose ; till, returning somewhat to myself, I saw that the red light had paled away, and felt a cool gentle breath gliding over my forehead. I rose and left the hall with unsteady steps, finding my way with some difficulty to my own chamber, and faintly remembering, as I went, that only in the marble cave, before I found the sleeping statue, had I ever had a similar experience.
After this, I repaired every morning to the same hall ; where I sometimes sat in the chair and dreamed deliciously, and sometimes walked up and down over the black floor. Sometimes I acted within myself a whole drama, during one of these perambulations ; sometimes walked de- liberately through the whole epic of a tale ;
30 PHANTASTES:
sometimes ventured to sing a song, though with a shrinking fear of I knew not what. I was astonished at the beauty of my own voice as it rang through the place, or rather crept undu- lating, like a serpent of sound, along the walls and roof of this superb music-hall. Entrancing verses arose within me as of their own accord, chanting themselves to their own melodies, and I'equiring no addition of music to satisfy the in- ward sense. But, ever in the pauses of these, when the singing mood was upon me, I seemed to hear something like the distant sound of multi- tudes of dancers, and felt as if it was the un- heard m sic, moving their rhythmic motion, that within me blossomed in verse and song. I felt, too, that could I but see the dance, I should, from the harmony of complicated movements, not of the dancers in relation to each other merely, but of each dancei individually in the manifested
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 31
plastic power that moved the consenting har- monious form, understand the whole of the music on the billows of which they floated and swung.
At length, one night, suddenly, when this feel- ing of dancing came upon me, I bethought me of lifting one of the crimson curtains, and looking if, perchance, behind it there might not be hid some other mystery, which might at least remove a step further the bewilderment of the present one. Nor was I altogether disappointed. I walked to one of the magnificent draperies, lifted a comer, and peeped in. There, burned a great, crimson, globe-shaped light, high in the cubical centre oi another hall, which might be larger or less than that in which I stood, for its dimensions were not easily perceived, seeing that floor and roof and walls were entirely of black marble. The roof was supported by the same arrangement of pillars radiating in arches, as that of the first hall ; only,
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ittHE, tie pillars and arrhes weiE of daric ko. Bur wiat ahsjiiieii my cfriightFiri gaze, T(ras an inmmieabie a^snbiy o£ wiiite marble ^yarne^, of every £brm, and. in Tmildrnoinnus pnsr?ire, niling tiie hfrll tfamu^umt Ths^ axKjd, in die mrfrfy ^0^ of t"!!!* gpeat Tarrmj uDon pedes^als rfjettdadc A rmmd die lamp s^inne in goidftn ietts's, plainly legibie from -wiiere I aaod, tiie two wanis —
Toe-e vas ji aii on^ bflweyer, at. ^.iuuun tn tie sound of rfanning ; and now I was aware that die inftieice on my mind had ceased, I did not go in rtiar eveiing for I was weary and ^int, but I hoarded 'ip die ecpedatian of emsdng, as af a great ajming^joy.
N^act night I walked, as on die preceding, dnxiu^ die Iiail. My mind was filled witk pic- aires and 'iongs. and die:Ewitli so mudi absorbed.
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A FAERIE ROMASCE. si
C^t I ^. ,
within the curtain I '.:.,n
the thought of doing so
happened to be within i .... .... ^. ... .u i
became cx>nsdou« at the same moment, that the sound of dancu nmc in my
ears. I af>proacLci ie cur.^n quickly, and, lifting it, entered the black hall. Everjthing was still as death. I sbotdd have concluded that the sound must have proceeded from some other more distant quarter, which conclusion its faintnf>^<; would, in Ordinary circumstances, have necessitated from the first ; but there was a some- thing about the statues that caused me still to remain in doubt. As I said, each stood perfectly still upon its black pedestal ; but there was alx)ul every one a certain air, not of motion, but as If it had just ceased from movement ; as if tlie rest were not altogether of the niarbly stillness of
3a PHANTASTES :
here, the pillars and arches were of dark red.
But what absorbed my delighted gaze, was an
innumerable assembly of white marble statues,
of every form, and in multitudinous posture,
filling the hall throughout. These stood, in the
ruddy glow of the great lamp, upon pedestals
of jet black. Around the lamp shone in golden
letters, plainly legible from where I stood, the
two words —
TOUCH NOT !
There was in all this, however, no solution to the sound of dancing ; and now I was aware that the influence on my mind had ceased. I did not go in that evening, for I was weary and faint, but I hoarded up the expectation of entering, as of a great coming joy.
Next night I walked, as on the preceding, through the hall. My mind was filled with pic- tures and songs, and therewith so much absorbed,
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 33
liiat I did not for some time think of looking within the curtain I had List night lifted. When the thought of doing so occurred to me first, I happened to be within a few yards of it. I became conscious at the same moment, that the sound of dancing had been for some time in my ears. I approached the curtain quickly, and, lifting it, entered the black hall. Everything was still as death. I should have concluded that the sound must have proceeded from some other more distant quarter, which conclusion its faintness would, in ordinary circumstances, have necessitated from the first ; but there was a some- thing about the statues that caused me still to remain in doubt. As I said, each stood perfectly still upon its black pedestal ; but there was about every one a certain air, not of motion, but as if it had just ceased from movement ; as if the rest were not altogether of the niarbly stillness of
PIIANTASTES :
thousands of years. It was as if the peculiar atmosphere of each had yet a kind of invisible tremulousness ; as if its agitated wavelets had not yet subsided into a perfect caUii. I had the suspicion that they had anticipated my appearance, and had sprung, each, from the living joy of the dance, to the death-silence and blackness of its isolated pedestal, just before I entered. I walked across the central hall to the curtain opposite the one I had lifted, and, entering there, found all the appearances similar ; only that the statues were different, and differently grouped. Neither did they produce on my mind that impression — of motion just expired, which I had experienced from the others. I found that behind every one of the crimson curtains was a similar hall, simi- larly lighted, and similarly occupied.
The next night, I did not allow my thoughts to be absorbed as before with inward images, but
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 35
crept stealthily along to the furthest curtain in the hall, from behind which, likewise, I had formerly seemed to hear the sound of dancing. I drew aside its edge as suddenly as I could, and, looking in, saw that the utmost stillness pervaded the vast place. I walked in, and passed through it to the other end. There I found that it communicated with a circular corridor, divided from it only by two rows of red columns. This corridor, which was black, with red niches holding statues, ran entirely about the statue-halls, forming a commu- nication between the further ends of them all ; further, that is, as regards the central hall of white whence they all diverged like radii, finding their circumference in the corridor. Round this cor- ridor I now went, entering all the halls, of which there were twelve, and finding them all similarly constructed, but filled with quite various statues, of what seemed both ancient and modern sculpture.
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36 PHANTASTES:
After I had simply walked through them, I found myself sufficiently tired to long for rest, and went to my own room.
In the night I dreamed that, walking close by one of the curtains, I was suddenly seized with the desire to enter, and darted in. This time I was too quick for them. All tlie statues were in motion, statues no longer, but men and women — all shapes of beauty that ever sprang from the brain of the sculptor, mingled in the convolutions of a complicated dance. Passing through them to the further end, I almost started from my sleep on beholding, not taking part in the dance with the others, nor seemingly endued with life like them, but standing in marble coldness and rigidity upon a black pedestal in the extreme left corner — my lady of the cave ; the marble beauty wlio sprang from her tomb or her cradle at the call of my songs. While I gazed in speechless astonishment
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 37
and admiration, a dark shadow, descending from above like the curtain of a stage, gradually hid her entirely from my view. I felt with a shudder that this shadow was perchance my missing demon, whom I had not seen for days. I awoke with a stifled cry.
Of course, the next evening I began my journey through the halls (for I knew not to which my dream had carried me), in the hope of proving the dream to be a true one, by discovering my marble beauty upon her black pedestal. At length, on reaching the tenth hall, I thought I recognised some of the forms I had seen dancing in my dream ; and to my bewilderment, when I arrived at the extreme comer on the left, there stood, the only one I had yet seen, a vacant pedestal. It was exactly in the position occupied, in my dream, by the pedestal on which the white lady stood. Hope beat violently in my heart.
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"Now," said I to myself, "if yet another part of the dream would but come true, and I should succeed in surprising these forms in their nightly dance ; it might be the rest would follow, and I should see on the pedestal my marble queen. Then surely if my songs sufficed to give her life before, when she lay in the bonds of alabaster, much more would they be sufficient then to give her volition and motion, when she alone of assembled crowds of marble forms, would be standing rigid and cold."
But the difficulty was, to surprise the dancers. I had found that a premeditated attempt at sur- prise, though executed with the utmost care and rapidity, was of no as'ail. And, in my dream, it was effected by a sudden thought suddenly executed. I saw, therefore, that there was no plan of operation offering any probability of success, but this : to allow my mind to be
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A FAERIE ROMANCE. 39
occupied with other thoughts, as I wandered around the great centre-hall ; and so wait till the impulse to enter one of the others should happen to arise in me just at the moment when I was close to one of the crimson curtains. For I hoped that if I entered any one of the twelve halls at the right moment, that would as it were give me the right of entrance to all the others, seeing they all had communication behind. I would not diminish the hope of the right chance, by supposing it necessary that the desire to enter should awake within me, precisely when I was close to the curtains of the tenth hall.
At first, the impulses to see recurred so continu- ally, in spite of the crowded imagery that kept passing through my mind, that they formed too nearly a continuous chain, for the hope that any one of Ihem would succeed as a surprise. But as I persisted in banishing them, they recurred
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"Now," said I to myself, "if yet anotlier part of the dream would but come tnic, and I should succeed in surprising these forms in their nightly dance ; it might be the rest would follow, and I should see on the pedestal my marble queen. Then surely if my songs sufficed to give her life before, when she lay in the bonds of alabaster, much more would they be sufficient then to give her volition and motion, when she alone of assembled crowds of marble forms, would be standing rigid and cold."
But the difficulty was, to surprise the dancers. I had found that a premeditated attempt at sur- prise, though executed with the utmost care and rapidity, was of no avail. And, in my dream, it was effected by a sudden thought suddenly executed. I saw, therefore, that there was no plan of operation offering any probability of success, but this : to allow my mind to be
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 39
occupied with other thoughts, as I wandered around the great centre-hall ; and so wait till the impulse to enter one of the others should happen to arise in me just at the moment when I was close to one of the crimson curtains. For I hoped that if I entered any one of the twelve halls at the right moment, that would as it were give me the right of entrance to all the others, seeing they all had communication behind. I would not diminish the hope of the right chance, by supposing it necessary that the desire to enter should awake within me, precisely when I was close to the curtains of the tenth hall.
At first, the impulses to see recurred so continu- ally, in spite of the crowded imagery that kept passing through my mind, that they formed too nearly a continuous chain, for the hope that any one of them would succeed as a surprise. But as I persisted in banishing them, they recurred
40 PHA NT A S TES :
less and less often ; and after two or three, at considerable intervals, had come when the spot where I happened to be was unsuitable, the hope strengthened, that soon one might arise just at the right moment ; namely, when, in walking round the hall, I should be close to one of the curtains.
At length the right moment and the impulse coincided. I darted into the ninth hall. It was full of the most exquisite mo\ang fomis. The whole space wavered and swam with the involu- tions of an intricate dance. It seemed to break suddenly as I entered, and all made one or two bounds towards their pedestals ; but, apparently on finding that they were thoroughly overtakc.% they returned to their employment (for it seemed with them earnest enough to be called such) without further heeding me. Somewhat impeded by the floating crowd, I made what haste I could
A I- AERIE ROMANCE. 4!
towards the bottom of the hall ; whence, entering the corridor, I turned towards the tenth. I soon arris-ed at the corner I wanted to reach, for the corridor was comparatively empty ; but, although the dancers here, after a little confusion, altogether disregarded my presence, I was dismayed at be- holding, even yet, a vacant pedestal. But I had a conviction that she was near me. And as I looked at the pedestal, I thought I saw upon it, vaguely revealed as if through overlapping folds of drapery, the indistinct outlines of white feet. Yet there was no sign of drapery or concealing shadow whatever. But I remembered the descending shadow in my dream. And I hoped still in the power of my songs ; thinking that what could dispel alabaster, might likewise be capable of dispelling what concealed my beauty now, even if it were the demon whose darkness had over- shadowed all my life.
PHANTASrr.S
XV.
Alexander. When will you finish Campaspe?
Apelles. Never finish : {ox always in absolute beauty
there is somewhat above art
Lvly's Campaspe.
And now, what song should I sing to unveil my Isis, if indeed she was present unseen? I hurried away to the white hall of Phantasy, heedless of the innumerable forms of beauty that crowded my way : these might cross my eyes, but the unseen filled my brain. I wandered long, up and down the silent space : no songs came. My soul was not still enough for songs. Only in the silence and darkness of the soul's night, do those stars of the inward firmament sink to its lower surface from the singing realms beyond, and shine upon the conscious spirit. Here all effort was
A FAERIE ROMA.VCE. 43
unavailing. If they came not, they could not be found.
Next night, it was just the same. T walked through the red glimmer of the silent hall ; but lonely as there I walked, as lonely trod my soul up and down the halls of the brain. At last I entered one of the statue-halls. The dance had just commenced, and I was delighted to find that I was free of their assembly. I walked on till I came to the sacred comer. There I found the pedestal just as I had left it, with the faint glimmer as of white feet still resting on the dead black. As soon as I saw it, I seemed to feel a presence which longed to become visible ; and, as it were, called to rne to gift it with self-manifesta- tion, that it might shine on me. The power of song came to me. But the moment my voice, though I sang low and soft, stirred the air of the hall, the dancers started ; the quick infer-
44 PHANTASTES :
weaving crowd shook, lost its form, divided ; each figure sprang to its pedestal, and stood, a self-evolving life no more, but a rigid, life-like, marble shape, with the whole form composed into the expression of a single state or act. Silence rolled like a spiritual thunder through the grand space. My song had ceased, scared at its own influences. But I saw in the hand of one of the statues close by me, a harp whose chords yet quivered. I remembered that as she bounded past me, her harp had brushed against my arm ; so the spell of the marble had not infolded it. I sprang to her, and with a gesture of entreaty, laid my hand on the hai-p. The marble hand, probably from its contact with the uncharmed harp, had strengtli enough to relax its hold, and yield the harp to me. No other motion indicated life.
Instinctively I struck the chords and sang. And not to break upon the record of my song, I mention
A FAERIE ROMAXCE. 45
here, that as I sang the first four lines, the loveUest feet became clear upon the black pedestal ; and ever as I sang, it was as if a veil were being lifted up from before the form, but an invisible veil, so that the statue appeared to grow before me, not so much by evolution, as by infinitesimal degrees of added height. And, while I sang, I did not feel that I stood by a statue, as indeed it appeared to be, but that a real woman-soul was revealing itself by successive stages of imbodiment, and consequent manifestation and expression.
Feet of beauty, firmly planting
Arches white on rosy heel I Whence the life-spring, throbbing, panting.
Pulses upward to reveal I Fairest things know least despising ; _ Foot and earth meet tenderly : Tis the woman, resting, rising
Upward to sublimity.
RLse the limbs, sedately sloping, Strong and gentle, full and fret: ;
PNANTASTES :
Soft and slow, like certain hoping, Drawing nigh the broad firm knee.
Up to speech ! As up to roses Pants the life from leaf to flower,
So each blending change discloses, Nearer still, expression's power.
Lo ! fair sweeps, white surges, twining
Up and outward fearlessly ! Temple columns, close combining.
Lift a holy mystery. Heart of mine ! what strange surprises
Mount aloft on such a stair ! Some great vision upward rises.
Curving, bending, floating fair.
Bands and sweeps, and hill and hollow
Lead my fascinated eye ; Some apocalypse will follow.
Some new word of deity. Zoned unseen, and outward swelling,
With new thoughts and wonders rife. Queenly majesty foretelling,
See the expanding house of life !
Sudden heaving, unforbidden Sighs eternal, still the same —
Mounts of snow have summits hidden In the mists of uttered flame.
A FAERIE ROMANCE.
But the spirit, dawning nearly, Kinds no speech for earnest pain ;
Finds a soundless sighing merely — Builds its stairs, and mounts again.
Heart, the queen, with secret hoping,
Sendeth out her waiting pair ; Hands, blind hands, half blindly groping
Half inclasping visions rare ; And the great arms, heartways bending
Might of Beauty, drawing home ; There returning, and re-blending.
Where from roots of love they roam.
Build thy slopes of radiance beamy,
Spirit, fair with womanhood ! Tower thy precipice, white-gleamy.
Climb unto the hour of good. Dumb space will be rent asunder.
Now the shining column stands Ready to be crowned with wonder
By the builder's joyous hands.
All the lines abroad are spreading. Like a fountain's failing race.
Lo, the chin, first feature, treading. Airy foot to rest the face !
Speech is nigh ; oh, see the blushing Sweet approach of liu and broajK i
PHANTASTES :
Round the mouth dim silence, hushmj;, Waits to die ecstatic death.
Span across in treble curving,
Bow of promise, upper lip ! Set them free, with gracious swerving ;
Let the wing-words float and dip. Dumb art tliou f O Love immortal,
More than words thy speech must be : Childless yet the tender portal
Of the home of melody.
Now the nostrils open fearless.
Proud in calm unconsciousness Sure it must be something peerless
That the great Pan would express 1 Deepens, crowds some meaning tendei,
In the pure, dear lady-face. Lo, a blinding burst of splendour ! —
'Tis the free soul's issuing grace.
Two calm lakes of molten glory
Circling round unfathomcd deeps I Lightning-flashes, transitor>',
Cross the gulfs where darkness sleeps. This the gate, at List, of gladness,
To the outward striving me: In a rain of light and sadness.
Out its loves and longings flee !
A FAERIE ROMANCE.
With a presence I am smitten
Dumb, with a foreknown surprise ; Presence greater yet than written
Even in the glorious eyes. Through the gulfs, with inward gazes,
I may look till I am lost ; Wandering deep in spirit-mazes.
In a sea without a coast.
Windows open to the glorious !
Time and space, oh, far beyond I Woman, ah ! thou art victorious.
And I perish, overfond. Springs aloft the yet Unspoken
In tlie forehead's endless grace, Full of silences unbroken ;
Infinite, unfeatured face.
Domes above, the mount of wonder ;
Height and hollow wrapt in night ; Hiding in its caverns under
Woman-nations in tlieir might. Passing forms, the highest Human
Faints away to the Divine ; Features none, of man or woman.
Can unveil the holiest-shine.
Sideways, grooved porches only Visible to passing eye.
PHANTASTES :
Stand the silent, doorless, lonely
Entrance-gates of melody. But all sounds fly in as boldly,
Groan and song, and kiss and cry, At their galleries, lifted coldly,
Darkly, 'tvvixt the earth and sky.
Beauty, thou art spent, thou knowef.t :
So, in faint, half-glad despair, From the summit thou o'erflowest
In a fall of torrent hair ; Hiding what thou hast created
In a half-transparent shroud : Thus, with glory soft-abated.
Shines the moon through vapoury cloud.
A FAKRIK ROMA.VCE.
XVI.
Selbst der Styx, der neunfach sie umwindet, Wehrt die Riickkehr Ceres Tochter nichl :
Nach dem Apfel greift sie, und es bindet Ewig sie des Orkus Pflicht.
Schiller. — Das Ideal und das Lehen.
Ev'n the Styx, which ninefold her infoldeth, Hems not Ceres' daughter in its flow ;
But she grasps the apple — ever holdeth Her, sad Orcus, down below.
Ever as I sang, tlie veil was uplifted ; ever as I sang, the signs of life grew ; till, when the eyes dawned upon me, it was with that sunrise of splendour which my feeble song attempted to re-imbody. The wonder is, that I was not al- together overcome, but was able to complete my song as the unseen veil continued to rise. This ability came solely from the state of mental ele- vation in which I found myself Only because
52 PrfAXTASTJ-S:
uplifted in song, was I able to endure tlie blaze of the dawn. But I cannot tell whether she looked more of statue or more of woman ; she seemed removed into that region of phantasy where all is intensely vivid, but nothing clearly defined. At last, as I sang of her descending hair, the glow of soul faded away, like a dying sunset. A lamp within had been extinguished, and the house of life shone blank in a winter morn. She was a statue once more — but visible, and that was much gained. Yet the revulsion from hope and fruition was such, that, unable to restrain myself, I sprang to her, and, in defiance of the law of the place, flung my arms around her, as if I would tear her from the grasp of a visible Death, and lifted her from the pedestal down to my heart. But no sooner had her feet ceased to be in contact with the black pedestal, than she shuddered and trembled all over ; then, writhinfr
A FAEKJE ROMANCE. 53
from my arms, before I could tighten their hold, she sprang into the corridor, with the reproacliful crj', "You should not have touched me ! " darted behind one of the exterior pillars of the circle, and disappeared. I followed almost as fast ; but ere I could reach the pillar, the sound of a closing door, the saddest of all sounds sometimes, fell on my ear ; and, arriving at the spot where she had vanished, I saw, lighted by a pale yellow lamp which hung above it, a heavy, rough door, al- together unlike any others I had seen in the palace ; for they were all of ebony, or ivory, or covered with silver-plates, or of some odorous wood, and very ornate ; whereas this seemed of old oak, with heavy nails and iron studs. Not- withstanding the precipitation of my pursuit, I could not help reading, in silver letters beneath the lamp : " No one enters here without the leave of the Queen." But what was tLe Queen to me,
54 PHANTASTES:
when I followed my white lady ? I dashed the door to the wall, and sprang through. Lo ! I stood on a waste windy hill. Great stones like tomb-stones stood all about me. No door, no palace was to be seen. A white figure gleamed past me, wringing her hands, and crying, "Ah! you should have sung to me ; you should have sung to me ! " and disappeared behind one of the stones. I followed. A cold gust of wind met me from behind the stone ; and when I looked, I saw nothing but a great hole in the earth, into which I could find no way of entering. Had she fallen in ? I could not tell. I must wait for the daylight. I sat down and wept, for there was no help.
/J FAERIE ROMANCE.
XVII.
Anfangs wollt' ich fast verzagt-n, Und ich glaubt' ich triig' es nie,
Und ich haV es doch getragen, — Aber fragt mich nur nicht : wie ?
Heine.
First, I thought, almost despairing. This must crush my spirit now ;
Yet I bore it, and am bearing — Only do not ask me how.
When the daylight came, it brought the possi- bility of action, but with it little of consolation. With the first visible increase of light, I gazed into the chasm, but could not, for more than an hour, see sufficiently well to discover its nature. At last I saw it was almost a peq^en- dicular opening, like a roughly excavated well, only very large. I coidd perceive no bottom ; and it was not till the sun actually rose, that
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56
PHANTASTES :
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I discovered a sort of natural staircase, in many parts little more than suggested, which led round and round the gulf, descending spirally into its abyss. I saw at once that this was my path ; and without a moment's hesitation, glad to quit the sunlight, which stared at me most heartlessly, I commenced my tortuous descent. It was very difficult. In some parts I had to cling to the rocks like a bat. In one place, I dropped from the track down upon the next returning spire of the stair ; which being broad in this particular portion, and standing out from the wall at right angles, received me upon my feet safe, though somewhat stupified by the shock. After descend- ing a great way, I found the stair ended at a narrow opening which entered the rock hori- zontally. Into this I crept, and, having entered, had just room to turn round. I put my head out into the shaft by which I had come down, and
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A FAEJilE ROMASCE.
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sun-eyed the coarse of mv descent Looking up, I saw the stars ; althoiig-li the sun must by tliis time have been bigii in the bearens. Ix)ok.ing below, I saw tbat tbe sides of tbe shaft went sheer down, smooth as glass ; and fax beneath me, I saw the reflection of the same stars I had seen in the heavens when I looked up. I turned again, and crept inwards some distance, when the passage widened, and I was at length able to stand and walk upright. "Wider and loftier grew the way; new paths branched off on rv^ery side ; great open halls appeared ; till at last I found m}'self wandering on through an under- ground countn', in which the bky was of rock, and instead of trees and flowers, there were only fantastic rocks and Btonefc. And ever as I went, darker grew my thonghtB, ^ at last 1 liad no hope whate%-er of findiiig the -white ladj: I no longer called her to myself my wMtt lacly. Wbirf-
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I discovered a sort of natural staircase, in many parts little more than suggested, which led round and round the gulf, descending spirally into its abyss. I saw at once that this was my path ; and without a moment's hesitation, glad to quit the sunlight, which stared at me most heartlessly, I commenced my tortuous descent. It was very difficult. In some parts I had to cling to the rocks like a bat. In one place, I dropped from the track down upon the next returning spire of the stair ; which being broad in this particular portion, and standing out from the wall at right angles, received me upon my feet safe, though somewhat stupified by the shock. After descend- ing a great way, I found the stair ended at a narrow opening which entered the rock hori- zontally. Into this I crept, and, having entered, had just room to turn round. I put my head out into the shaft by which I had come down, and
A FAERIE ROMASCE. 57
sun-eyed ihe course of my descent. Looking up, I saw the stars ; although the sun must by this time have been high in tlie heavens. Looking below, I saw that the sides of the shaft went sheer down, smooth as glass ; and far beneath me, I saw the reflection of the same stars I had seen in the heavens when I looked up. I turned again, and crept inwards some distance, when the passage widened, and I was at length able to stand and walk upright. Wider and loftier grew the way ; new paths branched off on every side ; great open halls appeared ; till at last I found myself wandering on through an Under- ground country, in which the sky was of rock, and instead of trees and flowers, there were only fantastic rocks and stones. And ever as I went, darker grew my thoughts, till at last I had no hope whatever of finding the white lady : I no longer called her to myself ;;y white lady. Wher-
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PHANTASTES :
ever a choice was necessarj', I always chose the path which seemed to lead downwards.
At length I began to find that these regions were inhabited. From behind a rock a peal of harsh grating laughter, fiill of evil humour, rang through my ears, and, looking round, I saw a queer, goblin creature, with a great head and ridiculous features, just such as those described, in German histories and travels, as Kobolds. ' What do you want with me ? " I said. He pointed at me with a long forefinger, very thick at the root, and sharpened to a point, and answered, " He ! he ! he ! what do you want here ? " Then, changing his tone, he continued, with mock humility — "Honoured sir, vouchsafe to withdraw from thy slaves the lustre of thy august presence, for thy slaves cannot support its brightness." A second appeared, and struck i.i : " You are so big, you keep the sun from
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Us. We can't see for you, and we're so cold." Thereupon arose, on all sides, tlie most terrific uproar of laughter, from voices like those of children in volume, but scrannel and harsh as those of decrepit age, though, unfortunately, with- out its weakness. The whole pandemonium ol fairy devils, of all varieties of fantastic ugliness, both in form and feature, and of all sizes from one to four feet, seemed to have suddenly assembled about me. At length, after a great babble of talk among themselves, in a language unknown to me, and after seemingly endless gesticulation, consultation, elbow - nudging, and unmitigated peals of laughter, they formed into a circle about one of their number, who scrambled upon a stone, and, much to my surprise, and somewhat to my dismay, began to sing, in a voice corresponding in its nature to his talking one, from beginning to end, the song with which
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ever a choice was necessary, I always chose the path which seemed to lead downwards.
At length I began to find that these regions were inhabited. From behind a rock a peal of harsh grating laughter, full of evil humour, rang through my ears, and, looking round, I saw a queer, goblin creature, with a great head and ridiculous features, just such as those described, in German histories and travels, as Kobolds. ' What do you want with me ? " I said. He pointed at me with a long forefinger, very thick at the root, and sharpened to a point, and answered, " He ! he ! he ! what do you want here ? " Then, changing his tone, he continued, with mock humility — "Honoured sir, vouchsafe to withdraw from thy slaves the lustre of thy august presence, for thy slaves cannot support its brightness." A second appeared, and struck i.i : " You are so big, you keep the sun from
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 50
Us. We can't see for you, and we're so cold." Thereupon arose, on all sides, the most terrific uproar of laughter, from voices like those of children in volume, but scrannel and harsh as those of decrepit age, though, unfortunately, with- out its weakness. The whole pandemonium ol fairy devils, of all varieties of fantastic ugliness, both in form and feature, and of all sizes from one to four feet, seemed to have suddenly assembled about me. At length, after a great babble of talk among themselves, in a language unknown to me, and after seemingly endless gesticulation, consultation, elbow -nudging, and unmitigated peals of laughter, they formed into a circle about one of their number, who scrambled upon a stone, and, much to my surprise, and somewhat to my dismay, began to sing, in a voice corresponding in its nature to his talking one, from beginning to end, the song with which
6o PHANTASTES :
I had brought the light into the eyes of the white lady. He sang the same air too ; and, all the time, maintained a face of mock entreaty and worship ; accompanying the song with the tra- vestied gestures of one playing on the lute. The whole assembly kept silence, except at the close of every verse, when they roared, and danced, and shouted with laughter, and flung themselves on the ground, in real or pretended convulsions of ■'elight. When he had finished, the singer threw himself from the top of the stone, turning heels over head several times in his descent ; and when he did alight, it was on the top of his head, on which he hopped about, making the most grotesque gesticulations with his legs in the air. Inexpressible -laughter followed, which broke up in a shower of tiny stones from innumerable hands. They could not materially injure me, although they cut me on the head and face. I attempted
A FAERIE RO.^TANCE. Ci
to ran away, but they all rashed upon me, and, laying hold of every part that afforded a grasp, held me tight. Crowding about me like bees, they shouted an insect-swarm of exasperating speeches up into my face, among which the most frequently recurring were — "You shan't have her; you shan't have her ; he ! he ! he ! She's for a better man ; she's for a better man ; how he'll kiss her! how he'll kiss her !"
The galvanic torrent of this battery of malevo- lence stung to life within me a spark of nobleness, and I said aloud, " Well, if he is a better man, let him have her."
They instantly let go their hold of me, and fell back a step or two, with a whole broadside of grants and humphs, as of unexpected and disap- pointed approbation. I made a step or two for- ward, and a lane was instantly opened for me through the midst of the grinning little antics.
62 PI/ANTASTES :
who bowed most politely to me on every side as I passed. After I had gone a few yards, I looked back, and saw them all standing quite still, looking after me, like a great school of boys; till suddenly one turned round, and with a loud whoop, rushed into the midst of the others. In an instant, the whole was one writhing and tumbling heap of contortion, reminding me of the live pyramids of interwined snakes of which travellers make report. 'Vs soon as one was worked out of the mass, he bounded off a few paces, and then, with a somerset and a run, threw himself gyrating into the air, and descended with all his weight on the summit of the heaving and struggling chaos of fantastic figures. I left them still busy at this fierce and apparently aimless amusement. And as I went, I sang—
If a nobler waits for thee, I will weep aside ;
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 63
It is well that thou should'st be, Of the nobler, bride.
For if love builds up the home,
Where the heart is free, Homeless yet the heart must roam,
That has not found thee.
One must suffer : I, for her.
Yield in her my part. Take her, thou art worthier —
Still ! be still, my heart !
Gift ungotten ! largess high
Of a frustrate will ! But to yield it lovingly
Is a something still.
Then a little song arose of itself in my soul ; and I felt for the moment, while it sang sadly within me, as if I was once more walking up and down the white hall of Phantasy in the Fairy Palace. But this lasted no longer than the song, as will be seen.
Do not vex thy violet Perfume to afford ;
6t PHANTASTES :
Else no odour thou wilt get From its little hoard.
In thy lady's gracious eyes
Look not thou too long ; Else from them the glory flies.
And thou dost her wrong.
Come not thou too near the maid.
Clasp her not too wild ; Else the splendour is allayed,
And thy heart beguiled.
A crash of laugliter, more discordant and deriding than any I had yet heard, invaded my ears. Looking on in the direction of the sound, I saw a little elderly woman, much taller, however, than the goblins I had just left, seated upon a stone by the side of the path. She rose, as I drew near, and came forward to meet me. She was very plain and commonplace in appearance, without being hideously ugly. Looking up in my face with a stupid sneer, she said : " Isn't it a pity you haven't a pretty girl to walk all alone
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 6s
wnth you through this sweet country ? How different everything would look ! wouldn't it ? Strange that one can never have what one would like best ! How the roses M-ould bloom and all that, even in this infernal hole! wouldn't they, Anodos ? Her eyes would light up the old cave, wouldn't they ?"
"That depends on who the pretty girl should be," replied I.
" Not so very much matter that," she answered; "look here."
I had turned to go away as I gave my reply, but now I stopped and looked at her. As a rough unsightly bud might suddenly blossom into the most lovely flower ; or rather, as a sun- beam bursts through a shapeless cloud, and trans- figures the earth; so burst a face of resplendent beauty, as it were through the unsightly visage of the woman, destroying it with light as it dawned
66 PHA NT A S TES ;
through it. A summer sky rose above me, grey with heat ; across a shining slumberous land- scape, looked from afar the peaks of snow- capped mountains ; and down from a gi"eat rock beside me, fell a sheet of water mad with its own delight.
" Stay with me," she said, lifting up her exquisite face, and looking full in mine.
I drew back. Again the infernal laugh grated upon my ears ; again the rocks closed in around me, and the ugly woman looked at me with wicked, mocking hazel eyes.
"You shall have your reward," said she. ' ' You shall see your white lady again. "
" That lies not with you," I replied, and turned and left her.
She followed me with shriek upon shriek of laughter, as I went on my way.
I may mention here, that although there was
A FAERIE ROMANCE.
always light eiiougli to see my path and a few yards on every side of me, I never could find out the source of this sad sepulchral illumination.
PHANTASTES ;
xviir.
Im Sausen des Windes, im Brausen des Meers, Und im Seufzen der eigenen Bnist. Heink.
In the wind's uproar, the sea's raging grim And the sighs that are bom in him.
" Ja, es wird zwar ein anderes Zeitalter kommen, wo es Licht wird, und wo der Mensch aus erhabnen Tratimen envacht, und die Tratime — wieder findet, weil er nichts verier als den Schlaf." — Jean Paul. Hespems.
From dreams of bliss shall men awake
One day, but not to weep : The dreams remain ; they only break
The mirror of the sleep.
How I got Ihroiigli this dreary part of my travels, I do not know. I do not think I was upheld by the hope that any moment the light might break in upon me; for I scarcely thought about that. I went on with a dull endurance,
A FAERIE ROMANCE. vq
varied by moments of uncontrollable sadness; for more and more the conviction grew upon me that I should never see the white lady again. It may seem strange that one with whom I had held so little communion, should have so engrossed my thoughts; but benefits conferred awaken love in some minds, as surely as benefits received in others. Besides being delighted and proud that ffiy songs had called the beautiful creature to life, the same fact caused me to feel a tenderness un- speakable for her, accompanied with a kind of feeling of property in her; for so the goblin Selfishness would reward the angel Love. When to all this is adde4, an overpowering sense of her beauty, and an unquestioning conviction that this was a true index to inward loveliness, it may be understood how it come to pass that my imagina- tion filled my whole soul with the play of its own multitudinous colours and harmonies around the
70 PHANTASTES :
form which yet stood, a gracious marble radiance, in the midst of its white hall of phantasy. The time passed by unheeded ; for my thoughts were busy. Perhaps this was also in part the cause of my needing no food, and never thinking how I should find any, during this subterraneous part of my travels. How long they endured I couid not tell, for I had no means of measuring time; and when I looked back, there was such a discrepancy between the decisions of my imagination and my judgment, as to the length of time that had passed, that I was bewildered, and gave up all attempts to arrive at any conclusion on the point.
A grey mist continually gathered behind me. When I looked back towards the past, this mist was the medium through which my eyes had to strain for a vision of what had gone by; and the form of the white lady had receded into an un- known region. At length the country of rock
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 71
began to close again around me, gradually and slowly narrowing, till I found myself walking in a gallerj' of rock once more, both sides of which I could touch with my outstretched hands. It narrowed yet, until I was forced to move care- fully, in order to avoid striking against the project- ing pieces of rock. The roof sank lower and low-er, until I was compelled, first to stoop, and then to creep on my hands and knees. It recalled terrible dreams of childhood; but I was not much afraid, because I felt sure that this was my path, and my only hope of leaving Fairj' Land, of which I was now almost weary.
At length, on getting past an abrupt turn in the passage, through which I had to force myself, I saw, a few yards ahead of me, the long-forgotten daylight shining through a small opening, to which ihe path, if path it could now be called, led me. With great difficulty I accomplished these last few
72 PHANTASTES:
yards, and came forth to the day. I stood on the shore of a wintry sea, with a wintry sun just a few feet above its horizon-edge. It was bare, and waste, and grey. Hundreds of hopeless waves rushed constantly shorewards, falling exhausted upon a beach of great loose stones, that seemed to stretch miles and miles in both directions. There was nothing for the eye but mingling shades of grey; nothing for the ear but the rush of the coming, the roar of the breaking, and the moan of the retreating wave. No rock lifted up a sheltering severity above the dreariness around; even that from which I had myself emerged rose scarcely a foot above the opening by which I had reached the dismal day, more dismal even than the tomb I had left. A cold, death-like wind swept across the shore, seeming to issue from a pale mouth oi cloud upon the horizon. Sign of life was nowhere v*isible. I wandered over the stones, up and down
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 73
the beach, a human embodiment of the nature around me. The wind increased ; its keen waves flowed through my soul ; the foam rushed higher up the stones J a few dead stars began to gleam in the east ; the sound of the waves grew louder and yet more despairing. A dark curtain of cloud was lifted up, and a pale blue rent shone between its foot and the edge of the sea, out from which rushed an icy storm of frozen wind, that tore the waters into spray as it passed, and flung the billows in raving heaps upon the desolate shore. I could bear it no longer.
" I will not be tortured to death," I cried ; " I will meet it half-way. The life within me is yet enough to bear me up to the face of Death, and then I die unconquered."
Before it had grown so dark, I had observed, though without any particular interest, that on one part of the shore a low platform of rock
74 PHANTASTES :
seemed to run out far into the midst of the breaking waters. Towards this I now went, scrambling over smooth stones, to wliich scarce even a particle of sea-weed clung ; and having found it, I got on it, and followed its direction, as near as I could guess, out into the tumbling chaos. I could hardly keep my feet against the wind and sea. The waves repeatedly all but swept me off my path ; but I kept on my way, till I reached the end of the low promontory, which, in the fall of the waves, rose a good many feet above the surface, and, in their rise, was covered with their waters. I stood one moment and gazed into the heaving abyss beneath me ; then plunged headlong into the mounting wave below. A blessing, like the kiss of a mother, seemed to alight on my soul ; a calm, deeper than that which accompanies a hope deferred, bathed my spirit. I sank far in the waters,
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 75
and sought not to return. I felt as if once more the great arms of the beech-tree were around me, soothing me after the miseries I had passed through, and telling me, like a little sick child, that I should be better to-morrow. The waters of themselves lifted me, as with loving arms, to the surface. I breathed again, but did not unclose my eyes. I would not look on the wintry sea, and the pitiless grey sky. Thus I floated, till something gently touched me. It was a little boat floating beside me. How it came there I could not tell ; but it rose and sank on the waters, and kept touching me in its fall, as if with a human will to let me know that help was by me. It was a little gay-coloured boat, seem- ingly covered with glistering scales like those of a fish, all of brilliant rainbow hues. I scram- bled into it, and lay down in the bottom, with a sense of exquisite repose. Then I drew over
70 PHANTASTES :
me a rich, heavy, purple cloth that was beside me ; and, lying still, knew, by the sound of the waters, that my little bark was fleeting rapidly onwards. Finding, however, none of that stormy motion which the sea had manifested when I beheld it from the shore, I opened my eyes ; and, looking first up, saw above me the deep violet sky of a warm southern night ; and then, lifting my head, saw that I was sailing fast upon a summer sea, in the last border of a southern twilight. The aureole of the sun yet shot the extreme faint tips of its longest rays above the horizon-waves, and withdrew them not. It was a perpetual twilight. The stars, great and earnest, like children's eyes, bent down lovingly towards the waters ; and the reflected stars within seemed to float up, as if longing to meet their embraces. But when I looked down, a new wonder met my view. For, vaguely revealed beneath the
A FAERIE ROMANCE. tj
wave, 1 floated above my whole Past. The fields of mj' childhood flitted by ; the halls of my youth- ful labours ; the streets of great cities where I had dwelt ; and the assemblies of men and women wherein I had wearied myself seeking for rest. But so indistinct were the visions, that sometimes I thought that I was sailing on a shallow sea, and that strange rocks and forests of sea-plants beguiled my eye, sufficiently to be transformed, by the magic of the phantasy, into well-known objects and regions. Yet, at times, a beloved foi-m seemed to lie close beneath me in sleep ; and the eyelids would tremble as if about to forsake the conscious eye ; and the arms would heave upwards, as if in dreams they sought for a satisfying presence. But these motions might come only from the heaving of the waters be- tween those forms and me. Soon I fell asleep, overcome with fatigue and delight. In dream.s
78 PHANTASTEii:
of unspeakable joy — of restored friendships; of revived embraces ; of love which said it had never died ; of faces that had vanished long ago, yet said with smiling lips that they knew nothing of the grave ; of pardons implored, and granted with such bursting floods of love, that I was almost glad I had sinned — thus I passed through this wondrous twilight. I awoke with the feeling that I had been kissed and loved to my heart's content ; and found that my boat was floating motionless by the grassy shore of a little island.
A FAERIE ROMANCE.
XIX.
lu stiller Ruhe, in wechselloser Einfalt fiihr ich ununter- brochen das Bewusstscyn der ganzen Menschheit in mir.
SCHLEIERMACHER — MoHOlogett.
In still rest, in changeless simplicity, I bear, uninter- rupted, the consciousness of the whole of Humanity within me.
such a sweetness, such a grace
In all thy speech appear.
That what to th' eye a beauteous face.
That thy tongue is to the ear.
Cowley.
The water was deep to the very edge ; and I sprang from the little boat upon a soft grassy turf. The island • seemed rich with a profusion of all grasses and low flowers. All delicate lowly things were most plentiful; but no trees rose skywards ; not even a bush overtopped the tall grasses, except in one place near the cottage I am about to describe, where a few plants of
So PHANTASTES :
the gutn-cistus, which drops every night all the blossoms that the day brings forth, fonned a kind of natural arbour. The whole island lay open to the sky and sea. It rose nowhere more than a few feet above the level of the waters, which flowed deep all around its border. Here there seemed to be neither tide nor stornri. A sense of persistent calm and fulness arose in the mind at the sight of the slow, pulse-like rise and fall of the deep, clear, unrippled waters against the bank of the island, for shore it could hardly be called, being so much more like the edge of a full, solemn river. As T walked over the grass towards tlie cottage, which stood at a little distance from the bank, all the flowers of childhood looked at me with perfect child- eyes out of the grass. My heart, softened by the dreams through which it had passed, over- flowed in a sad, tender love towards them. They
A FAERIE ROMANCE, 8i
looked to me like children impregnably fortified in a helpless confidence. The sun stood half way down the western sky, shining very soft and golden ; and there grew a second world of shadows amidst the world of grasses and wild flowers.
The cottage was square, with low walls, and a high pyramidal roof thatched with long reeds, oi which the withered blossoms hung over all the eaves. It is noticeable that most of the buildings I saw in Fairy Land were cottages. There was no path to a door, nor, indeed, was there any track worn by footsteps in the island. The cottage rose right out of the smooth turf. It had no windows that I could see ; but there was a door in the centre of the side facing me, up to which I went. I knocked, and the sweetest voice I had ever heard said, "Come in." T entered. A bright fire was burning on a hearth
8t PHANTASTES :
in the centre of the earthen floor, and the smoke found its way out at an opening in the centre of the pyramidal roof. Over the fire hung a little pot, and over the pot bent a woman-face, the most wonderful, I thought, that I had ever beheld. For it was older than any countenance I had ever looked upon. There was not a spot in which a wrinkle could lie, where a wrinkle lay not. And the skin was ancient and brown, like old parchment. The woman's form was tall and spare: and when she stood up to welcome me, I saw that she was straight as an arrow. Could that voice of sweetness have issued from those lips of age? Mild as they were, could they be the portals whence flowed such melody ? But the moment I saw her eyes, I no longer wondered at her voice : they were absolutely young — those of a woman of five-and-twenty, large, and of a clear grey. Wrinkles had beset
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 83
them all about ; the eyelids themselves were old, and heavy, and worn ; but the eyes were very incarnations of soft light. She held out her hand to me, and the voice of sweetness again greeted me, with the single word, "Welcome." She set an old wooden chair for me, near the fire, and went on with her cooking. A wondrous sense of refuge and repose came upon me. I felt like a boy who has got home from school, miles across the hills, through a heavy storm of wind and snow. Almost, as I gazed on her, I sprang from my seat to kiss those old lips. And when, having finished her cooking, she brought some of the dish she had prepared, and set it on a little table by me, covered with a snow-white cloth, I could not help laying my head on her bosom, and bursting into happy tears. She put her arms round me, saying, "Poor child; poor child ! "
o 2
E4 t'HANTASTES :
As I continued to weep, she gently disengaged herself; and, taking a spoon, put some of the food (I did not know what it was) to my lips, entreating me most endearingly to swallow it. To please her, I made an effort, and succeeded. She went on feeding me like a baby, with one arm round me, till I looked up in her face and smiled : then she gave me the spoon, and told me to eat, for it would do m.e good. I obeyed her, and found myself wonderfully re- freshed. Then she drew near the fire an old- fashioned couch that was in the cottage, and making me lie down upon it, sat at my feet, and began to sing. Amazing store of old ballads rippled from her lips, over the pebbles of ancient tunes ; and the voice that sang was sweet as the voice of a tuneful maiden that singeth ever from very fulness of song. The songs ■\^^ere almost all sad, but with a sound of comfort. One
J
A FA ERIE ROMANCE. 85
1 can faintly recall. It was something like this :
Sir Aglovaile through the churchyard rode ;
Sing^, All alone I lU: Little recked he where'er he yode.
A II alone, up in the sky.
Swer^-ed his courser, and plunged with fear ,
A II alone I lie : His cry might have wakened the dead men near,
All alone, up in tlie sky.
The very dead that lay at his feet, Lapt in the mouldy winding-sheet.
IJut he curbed him and spurred him, until he stood Still in his place, like a horse of wood.
With nostrils uplift, and eyes wide and wan ; But the sweat in streams from his fetlocks ran.
A ghost grew out of the shadowy air, And sat in the midst of her moony hair.
In her gleaniy hair she sat and wept ; In the dreamful moon they lay and slept ;
The shadows above, and the bodies below, Ljiy and slept in the moonbeams slow.
86 PHANTASTES :
And she sang, like the moan cf an autumn wind Over the stubble left behind :
A las, hoiv easily things go wrong t
A sigh too }nuch, or a kiss too long.
And tJiere follows a mist atid a weeping rain.
And life is never the same again.
A las, Jiow hardly things go right ! 'Tis Jiard to •watch in a summer night, For tlie sigh will come, and the kiss will stay. And the summer night is a winter day.
" Oh, lovely ghost, my heart is woe. To see thee weeping and wailing so.
Oh, lovely ghost," said the fearless knight, " Can the sword of a warrior set it right?
Or prayer of bedesman, praying mild. As a cup of water a feverish child,
Soothe thee at. last, in dreamless mood To sleep the sleep a dead lady should ?
Thine eyes they fill me with longing sore. As if I had known thee for evermore.
Oh, lovely ghost, I could leave the day To sit with thee in the moon away
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 83
If thou wouldst trust me, and lay thy head To rest on a bosom that is not dead."
The lady sprang up with a strange ghost-cry. And she flung her white ghost-arms on high ;
And she laughed a laugh that was not gay. And it lengthened out till it died away ;
And the dead beneath turned and moaned.
And the yew-trees above they shuddered and groaned.
" Will he love me twice with a love that is vain ? Will he kill the poor ghost yet again ?
I thought thou wert good ; but I said, and wept : ' Can I have dreamed who have not slept ? '
And I knew, alas ! or ever I would, WTiether I dreamed, or thou wert good.
When my baby died, my brain grew wild. I awoke, and found I was with my child."
' If thou art the ghost of my Adelaide, How is it? Thou wert but a village maid.
And thou seemest an angel lady white. Though thin, and wan. and past delight."
The lady smiled a flickering smile.
And she pressed her temples hard the while
PHANTASTES:
" Thou seest that Death for a woman can Do more than knighthood for a man."
" But show me the child thou callest ;iiine. Is she out to-night in the ghost's sunshine ? "
" In St. Peter's Church she is playing on. At hide-and-seek, with Apostle John.
AVhen the moonbeams right through the window go, \Vhere the twelve are standing in glorious show.
She says the rest of them do not stir. But one comes down to play with her.
Thrn I can go where I list, and weep. For good St. John my child will keep."
" Thy beauty filleth the very air. Never saw I a woman so fair. "
" Come, if thou darest, and sit by my side ; But do not touch me, or woe will betide.
Alas, I am weak : I well might know This gladness betokens some further woe.
Yet come. It will come. I will bear it. I can. For thou lovest me yet — though but as a man."
The knight dismounted in earnest speed ;
Away through the tombstones thundered the steed.
A FAERIE ROMANCE.
And fell by the outer wall, and died.
But the knight he kneeled by the lady's side ;
Kneeled beside her in wondrous bliss. Rapt in an everlasting kiss :
Though never his lips come the lady nigh. And his eyes alone on her beauty lie.
All the night long, till the cock crew loud, He kneeled by the lady, lapt in her shroud.
And what they said, I may not say : Dead night was sweeter than living day.
How she made him so blissful glad
Who made her and found her so ghostly sad,
I may not tell ; but it needs no touch To make them blessed who love so much.
" Come every night, my ghost, to me ; And one night I will come to thee.
'Tis good to have a ghostly wife : She will not tremble at clang of strife ;
She will only hearken, amid the din. Behind the door, if he cometh in."
And this is how Sir Aglovaile Often walked in the moonlight pale.
PHANTASTES :
And oft when the crescent but thinned tlie gloom. Full orbed moonlight filled his room ;
And through beneath his chamber door, Fell a ghostly gleam on the outer floor ;
And they that passed, in fear averred That murmured words they often heard.
'Twas then that the eastern crescent shone Through the chancel window, and good St. John
Played with the ghost-child all the night. And the mother was free till the morning light.
And sped through the dawning night, to stay With Aglovaile till the break of day.
And their love was a rapture, lone and high. And dumb as the moon in the topmost sky.
One night Sir Aglovaile, weary, slept. And dreamed a dream wherein he wept.
A warrior he was, not often wept he. But this night he wept full bitterly.
He woke — beside him the ghost-girl shone Out of the dark : 'twas the eve of St. John.
He had dreamed a dream of a still, dark wood. Where the maiden of old beside him stood ;
A FAERIE ROMANCE.
But a mist came down, and caught Iier away.
And he sought her in vain through the pathless day.
Till he wept with the grief that can do no more. And thought he had dreamt the dream before.
From bursting heart the weeping flowed on ; And lo ! beside him the ghost-girl shone ;
Shone like the light on a harbour's breast, Over the sea of his dream's unrest ;
Shone like the wondrous, nameless boon. That the heart seeks ever, night or noon :
Warnings forgotten, when needed most, He clasped to his bosom the radiant ghost.
She wailed aloud, and faded, and sank. With uptum'd white face, cold and blank,
In his arms lay the corpse of the maiden pale. And she came no more to Sir Aglovaile.
Only a voice, when winds were wild. Sobbed and wailed like a chidden child.
A las, how easily things go wrong I
A sigh too much, or a kiss too long.
And there follows a ntist and a wecpinz rain,
A nd life is never the same again.
qi PHANTASTES :
This was one of the simplest of her songs, which, perhaps, is the cause of my being able to remember it better than most of the others.
While she sung, I was in Elysium, with the sense of a rich soul upholding, embracing, and overhanging mine, full of all plenty and bounty. I felt as if she could give me everything I wanted ; as if I should never wish to leave her, but would be content to be sung to and fed by her, day after day, as years rolled by. At last I fell asleep while she sang.
When I awoke, I knew not whether it was night or day. The fire had sunk to a few red embers, which just gave light enough to show me the woman standing a few feet from me, with her back towards me, facing the door by which I had entered. She was weeping, but very gently and plentifully. The tears seemed to come freely from Der heart. Thus she stood for a few minutes ;
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 93
then, slowly turning at right angles to her former position, she faced another of the four sides of the cottage. I now obsen'ed for the first time, that here was a door likewise ; and that, indeed, there was one in the centre of every side of the cottage. When she looked towards this second door, her tears ceased to flow, but sighs took their place. She often closed her eyes as she stood ; and every time she closed her eyes, a gentle sigh seemed to be born in her heart and to escape at her lips. But when her eyes were open, her sighs were deep and very sad, and shook her whole frame. Then she turned towards the third door, and a cry as of fear or suppressed pain broke from her ; but she seemed to hearten herself against the dismay, and to front it steadily ; for, although I often heard a slight cry and sometimes a moan, yet she never moved or bent her head, and I felt sure that her eyes never closed. Then she turned to the fourth
34 PHANTASTES
door, and I saw her shudder, and then stand still as a statue ; till at last she turned towards me and approatfhed the fire. I saw that her face was white as death. But she gave one look upwards, and smiled the sweetest, most chi^i-innocent smile ; then heaped fresh wood on the fire, and, sitting down by the blaze, drew her wheel near her, and began to spin. While she spun, she murmured a low strange song, to which the hum of the wheel made a kind of infinite symphony. At length, she paused in her spinnirig and singing, and glanced towards me, like a mother who looks whether or not her child gives signs of waking. She smiled when she saw that my eyes were open* I asked her whether it was day yet. She answered, "It is always day here, so long as I keep my fire burning. "
I felt wonderfully refreshed ; and a great desire to sec more of the island awoke within me. I
A FAERIE ROMANCE. OS
rose, and saying that I wished to look aoout me, went towards the door by whicli I had entered.
" Stay a moment," said my hostess, with some trepidation in her voice. "Listen to me. You will not see what you expect when you go out of that door. Only remember this : whenever you wish to come back to me, enter wherever you see this mark."
She held up her left hand between me and the fire. Upon the palm, which appeared almost transparent, I saw, in dark red, a mark like this ^^, which I took care to fix in my mind.
She then kissed me, and bade me good-bye with a solemnity that awed me ; and bewildered me too, seeing I was only going out for a little ramble in an island, which I did not believe larger than could easily be compassed in a few hours' walk at most. As I went she resumed hei spinning.
q6 PHANTASTES:
I opened the door, and stepped out. The moment my foot touched the smooth sward, I seemed to issue from the door of an old bam on my fathers estate, where, in the hot afternoons, I used to go and He amongst the straw, and read. It seemed to me now that I had been asleep there. At a little distance in the field, I saw two of my brothers at play. The moment they caught sight of me, they called out to me to come and join them, which I did ; and we played together as we had done years ago, till the red sun went down in the west, and the grey fog began to rise from the river. Then we went home together with a strange happiness. As we went, we heard the continually renewed larum of a landrail in the long grass. One of my brothers and I separated to a little distance, and each commenced running towards the part whence the sound appeared to come, in the hope of approaching the spot where
A FAERIE ROM A ACE. 97
the bird was, and so getting at least a sight of it, if we should not be able to capture the little creature. My father's voice recalled us from trampling down the rich long grass, soon to be cut down and laid aside for winter. I had quite forgotten all about Fairy Land, and the wonderful old woman, and the curious red mark.
My favourite brother and I shared the same bed. Some childish dispute arose l^etween us ; and our last words, ere we fell asleep, were not of kindness, notwithstanding the pleasures of the day. When I woke in the morning, I missed him. He had risen early, and had gone to bathe in the river. In another hour, he was brought home drowned. Alas ! alas ! if we had only gone to sleep as usual, the one with his arm about the other ! Amidst the horror of the moment, a strange conviction flashed across my mind, that I Iiad gone through the very same once before.
98 PHANTASTES:
I nislied out of the house, I knew not why, sobbing and crying bitterly. I ran through the fields in aimless distress, till, passing the old bam, I caught sight of a red mark on the door. The merest trifles sometimes rivet the attention in the deepest misery ; the intellect has so little to do with grief. I went up to look at this mark, which I did not remember ever to have seen before. As I looked at it, I thought I would go in and lie down amongst the straw, for I was very weary with running about and weeping. I opened the door ; and there in the cottage sat the old woman as I had left her, at her spinning- wheel.
" I did not expect you quite so soon," she said, as I shut the door behind me. I went up to the couch, and threw myself on it with tliat fatigue wherewith one a^\ akes from a feverish dream of hopeless grief.
J FAERIE ROMANCE.
The old woman sang :
The great sun, benighted,
May faint from the sky ; But love, once uplighted.
Will never more die.
Form, with its brightness.
From eyes will depart : It walketh, in whiteness.
The halls of the hearL
Ere she had ceased singing, my courage had returned. I started from the coucli, and, without taking leave of the old woman, opened the door of Sighs, and sprang into what should appear.
I stood in a lordly hall, where, by a blazing fire on the hearth, sat a lady, waiting, I knew, for some one long desired. A mirror was near me, but I saw that my form had no place within its depths, so I feared not that I should be seen. Tlie lady wonderfully resembled my marble lady, but was altogether of the daughters of men, and I
loo PHANTASTES :
could not tell whether or not it was she. It was not for me she waited. The tramp of a great horse rang through the court without. It ceased, and the clang of armour told that his rider alighted, and the sound of his ringing heels approached the hall. The door opened ; but the lady waited, for she would meet her lord alone. He strode in : she flew like a home-bound dove into his arms, and nestled on the hard steel. It was the knight of the soiled armour. But now the armour shone like polished glass ; and, strange to tell, though the mirror reflected not my form, I saw a dim shadow of myself in the shining steel.
** O my beloved, thou art come, and I am blessed. "
Her soft fingers speedily overcame the hard clasp of his helmet ; one by one she undid the buckles of his armour ; and she toiled under the weight of the mail, as she would carry it aside.
A FAERIE ROMANCE. loi
Then she unclasped his greaves, and unbuckled his spurs ; and once more she sprang into his arms, and laid her head where she could now feel the beating of his heart. Then she disengaged herself from his embrace, and, moving back a step or two, gazed at him. He stood there a mighty form, crowned with a noble head, where all sad- ness had disappeared, or had been absorbed in solemn purpose. Yet I suppose that he looked more thoughtful than the lady had expected to see him, for she did not renew her caresses, although his face glowed with love, and the few words he spoke were as mighty deeds for strength ; but she led him towards the hearth, and seated him in an ancient chair, and set wine before him, and sat at his feet.
"I am sad," he said, "when I think of the youth whom I met twice in the forests of Fairy Land ; and who, you say, twice, with his songs.
I02 PHANTASTES :
roused you from the death-sleep of an evil enchant- ment. There was something noble in him, but it was a nobleness of thought, and not of deed. He may yet perish of vile fear. "
"Ah!" returned the lady, "you saved him once ; and for that I thank you ; for may I not say that I somewhat loved him? But tell me how you fared, when you struck your battle-axe into the ash-tree, and he came and found you ; for so much of the story you had told me, when the beggar-child came and took you away."
"As soon as I saw him," rejoined the knight, "I knew that earthly arms availed not against such as he ; and that my soul must meet him in its naked strength. So I unclasped my helm, and flung it on the ground ; and, holding my good axe yet in my hand, gazed at him with steady eyes. On he came, a horror indeed, but I did not flinch. Endurance must conquer, where force could not
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 103
reach. He came nearer and nearer, till the ghastly face was close to mine. A shudder as of death ran through me ; but I think I did not move, for he seemed to quail, and retreated. As soon as he gave back, I struck one more sturdy blow on the stem of his tree, that the forest rang ; and then looked at him again. He writhed and grinned with rage and apparent pain, and again approached me, but retreated sooner than before. I heeded him no more, but hewed with a will at the tree, till the trunk creaked, and the head bowed, and with a crash it fell to the earth. Then I looked up from my labour, and, lo ! the spectre had vanished, and I saw him no more; nor ever in my wanderings have I heard of him again."
" Well struck ! well withstood ! my hero," said the lady.
" But," said the knight, somewhat troubled, " dost thou love the youth still ? "
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" Ah ! " she replied, " how can I help it ? He woke me from worse than death ; he loved me. I had never been for thee, if he had not sought me first. But I love him not as I love thee. He was but the moon of my night ; thou art the sun of my day, O beloved."
" Thou art right," returned the noble man. "It were hard, indeed, not to have some love in return for such a gift as he hath given thee. I, too, owe him more than words can speak."
Humbled before them, with an aching and deso- late heart, I yet could not restrain my words :
" Let me, then, be the moon of thy night still, O woman ! And when thy day is beclouded, as the fairest days will be, let some song of mine comfort thee, as an old, withered, half-forgotten thing, that belongs to an ancient mournful hour of uncompleted birth, which yet was beautiful in its time."
A FAERIE ROMANCE. ics
They sat silent, and I almost thought they were listening. The colour of the lady's eyes grew deeper and deeper; the slow tears grew, and filled them, and orerflowed. They rose, and passed, hand in hand, close to where 1 stood ; and each looked towards me in passing. Then they disap- peared through a door which closed behind them ; but, ere it closed, I saw that the room into which it opened was a rich chamber, hung with gorgeous arras. I stood with an ocean of sighs frozen in my bosom. I could remain no longer. She was near me, and I could not see her ; near me in the arms of one loved better than I, and I would not see her, and I would not be by her. But how to escape from the nearness of the best beloved ? 1 had not this time forgotten the mark ; for the fact that I could not enter the sphere of these living beings kept me aware that, for me, I moved in a •nsion, while they moved in life. I looked all
io6 PHANTASTES:
about for the mark, but could see it nowhere ; for I avoided looking just where it W35. There the dull red cipher glowed, on the very door of their secret chamber. Struck with agony, I dashed it open, and fell at the feet of the ancient woman, who still spun on, the whole dissolved ocean of \ my sighs bursting from me in a storm of tearless sobs. Whether I fainted or slept, I do not know ; but, as I returned to consciousness, be- fore I seemed to have power to move, I heard the woman singing, and could distinguish the words :
O light of dead and of dying days
O Love ! in thy glory go. In a rosy mist and a moony maze.
O'er the pathless peaks of snow.
But what is left for the cold grey soul. That moans like a wounded dove ?
One wine is left in the broken bowl — 'Tis — To love, and love, and lot'e.
A FAERIE ROMANCE. :ot
Now I could weep. When she saw me weeping, she sang :
Better to sit at the waters' birth.
Than a sea of waves to win ; To live in the love that floweth forth.
Than the love that conieth in.
Be thy heart a well of love, my child.
Flowing, and free, and sure ; For a cistern of love, though undefilcd.
Keeps not the spirit pure.
I rose from tlie earth, loving the white lady as 1 had never loved her before.
Then I walked up to the door of Dismay, and opened it, and went out. And lo ! I came forth upon a crowded street, where men and women went to and fro in multitudes. I knew it well ; and, turning to one liand, walked sadly along the pavement. Suddenly I saw approaching me, a little way off, a form well known to me {jw//- ktiown ! — alas, how weak the word !) in the years
to8 PHA NT A S TES :
when I thought my boyhood was left behind, and shortly before I entered the realm of Fairy Land. Wrong and Sorrow had gone together, hand-in- hand, as it is well they do. Unchangeably dear was that face. It lay in my heart as a child lies in its own white bed ; but I could not meet her.
"Anything but that," I said; and, turning aside, sprang up the steps to a door, on which I fancied I saw the mystic sign. I entered — not the mys- terious cottage, but her home. I rashed wildly on, and stood by the door of her room.
"She is out," I said, "I will see the old room once more."
I opened the door gently, and stood in a great solemn church. A deep-toned bell, whose sounds throbbed and echoed and swam through the empty building, stnack the hour of midnight. The moon shone through the windows of the clerestory, and tnough of the ghostly radiance was diffused through
A FAERIE ROMANCE. loo
the church to let me see, walking with a stately, yet somewhat trailing and stumbling step, down the opposite aisle, for I stood in one of the tran- septs, a figure dressed in a white robe, whether for the night, or for that longer night which lies too deep for the day, I could not tell. Was it she? and was this her chamber? I crossed the church, and followed. The figure stopped, seemed to ascend as it were a high bed, and lay down. I reached the place where it lay, glimmering white. The bed was a tomb. The light was too ghostly to see clearly, but I passed my hand over the face and the hands and the feet, which were all bare. They were cold — they were marble, but I knew them. It grew dark. I turned to retrace my steps, but found, ere long, that I had wandered into what seemed a little chapel. I groped about, seeking the door. Everything I touched belonged to the dead. My hands fell on the cold effigy of
ito PHANTASTES :
a knight who lay with his legs crossed and his sword broken beside him. He lay in his noble rest, and I lived on in ignoble strife. I felt for the left hand and a certain finger ; I found there the ring I knew : he was one of my own ancestors. I was in the chapel over the burial-vault of my race. I called aloud: "If any of the dead are moving here, let them take pity upon me, for I, alas ! am still alive ; and let some dead woman comfort me, for I am a stranger in the land of the dead, and see no light." A warm kiss alighted on my lips through the dark. And I said, " The dead kiss well ; I will not be afraid." And a great hand was reached out of the dark, and grasped mine for a moment, mightily and tenderly. I said to myself : " The veil between, though very dark, is very thin."
Groping my way further, I stumbled over the heavy stone that covered the entrance of the vault :
A FAERIE ROMANCE. iii
and, in stumbling, descried upon the stone the mark, glowing in red fire. I caught the great ring. All my effort could not have moved the huge slab ; but it opened the door of the cottage, and I threw myself once more, pale and speech- less, on the couch beside the ancient dame. She sang once more : —
Thou dreamest : on a rock thou art,
High o'er the broken wave ; Thou fallest with a fearful start.
But not into thy grave ; For, waking in the morning's light. Thou smilest at the vanished night
So wilt thou sink, all pale and dumb.
Into the fainting gloom ; But ere the coming terrors come.
Thou wak'st — where is the tomb ? Thou wak'st — the dead ones smile above, Witli hovering arms of sleepless love.
She paused ; then sang again :
We weep for gladness, weep for grief ; The tears they are the same ;
iia PHANTASTES
We sigh for longing, and relief ; The sighs have but one name
And mingled in the dying strife.
Are moans that are not sad ; The pangs of death are throbs of life.
Its sighs are sometimes glad.
The face is very strange and white :
It is Earth's only spot That feebly flickers back the light
The living seeth not.
I fell asleep, and slept a dreamless sleep, for I know not how long. When I awoke, I found that my iiostess had moved from where she had been sitting, and now sat between me and the fourth door. I guessed that her design was to prevent my entering there. I sprang from the couch, and darted past her to the door. I opened it at once and went out. All I remember is a cry of distress from the woman : " Don't go there, my child ! Don't go there ! " But I was gone.
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 113
T knew nothing more ; or, if I did, I had forgot it all when I awoke to consciousness, lying on the floor of the cottage, with my head in the lap of the woman, who was weeping over me, and stroking my hair with both hands, talking to me as a mother might talk to a sick and sleeping, or a dead child. As soon as I looked up and saw her, she smiled through her tears; smiled with withered face and young eyes, till her countenance was irradiated with the light of the smile. Then she bathed my head and face and hands in an icy cold, colourless liquid, which smelt a little of damp earth. Immediately I was able to sit up. She rose and put some food before me. When I had eaten, she said :
"Listen to me, my.diild. You must leave me directly ! "
" Leave you! " I said. " I am so happy with you. I never was so happy in my life."
VOL. VI. I
114 PHANTASTES .
" But you must go," she rejoined sadly, " Listen ! What do you hear ? "
" I hear the sound as of a great throbbing of water."
"Ah! you do hear it? Well, I had to go through that door — the door of the Timeless " ^and she shuddered as she pointed to the fourth door) — "to find you; for if I had not gone, you would never have entered again ; and because I went, the waters around my cottage will rise and rise, and flow and come, till they buiid a great firmament of waters over my dwelling. But as long as I keep my fire burning, they cannot enter. I have fuel enough for years ; and after one year they will sink away again, and be just as they were before you came. I have not been buried for a hundred years now." And she smiled and wept.
" Alas! alas! " t cried. " I have brought this
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 115
evil on the best and kindest of friends, wlio Ins filled my heart with great gifts."
" Do not think of tliat," she rejoined. " I can bear it very well. You will come back to me some day, I know. But I beg you, for my sake, my dear child, to do one thing. In whatever sonow you may be, however inconsolable and irremediable it may appear, believe me that the old woman in the cottage, \vith the young eyes," (and she smiled,) " knows something, though she must not always tell it, that would quite satisfy you about it, even in the worst moments of your distress. Now you must go."
" But how can I go, if the waters are all about, and if the doors all lead into other regions and other worlds ? "
"This is not an island," she replied; "but is joined to the land by a narrow neck ; and for the door, I wlj lead you myself through the right one."
ii6 PHAA-TASTES :
She took my hand, and led me through the third door ; whereupon I found myself standing in the deep grassy turf on which I had landed from the little boat, but upon the opposite side of the cottage. She pointed out the direction I must take, to find the istlimus and escape the rising waters.
Then putting her arms around me, she held me to her bosom ; and as I kissed her, I felt as if I were leaving my mother for the first time, and could not help weeping bitterly. At length she gently pushed me away, and with the words, "Go, my son, and do something worth doing," turned back, and, entering the cottage, closed the door behind her.
I felt very desolate as T went.
A FAERIE ROMANCE.
XX.
Thou hadst no fame ; that which thou didst like good Was but thy appetite that swayed thy blood For that time to the best ; for as a blast That through a house comes, usually doth cast Things out of order, yet by chance may come And blow some one thing to his proper room. So did thy appetite, and not thy zeal. Sway thee by chance to do some one thing well.
Fletcher's Faithful Slw/'herdess.
The noble hart that harbours vertuous thought And Ls with childe of glorious great intent, Can never rest, untill it forth have brought Th' eternal! brood of glorie excellent.
SiENSEK. — The Faerie Queene.
I HAD not gone very far before I felt that the turf beneath my feet was soaked with the rising waters. But I reached the isthmus in safety. It was rocky, and so much higher than the level of the peninsula, that I had plenty of time to cross.
ii8 PHANTASTES :
I saw on each side of nie the water vising rapidly, altogether without wind, or violent motion, or broken waves, but as if a slow strong fire were glowing beneath it. Ascending a steep acclivity, I found myself at last in an open, rocky country. After travelling for some hours, as nearly in a straight line as I could, I arrived at a lonely tower, built on the top of a little hill, which overlooked the whole neighbouring country. As I approached, I heard the clang of an anvil ; and so rapid were the blows, that I despaired of making myself heard till a pause in the work should ensue. It was some minutes before a cessation took place; but when it did, I knocked loudly, and had not long to wait ; for, a moment after, the door was partly opened by a noble-looking youth, half-un- dressed, glowing with heat, and begrimed with the blackness of the forge. In one hand he held a sword, so lately from the furnace that it yet
A FAERIE ROMANCE. iiq
shone with a dull fire. As soon as he saw me, he threw the door wide open, and standing aside, invited me very cordially to enter. I did so ; when he shut and bolted the door most carefully, and then led the way inwards. He brought me into a rude hall, which seemed to occupy almost the whole of the ground floor of the little tower, and which I saw was now being used as a work- shop. A huge fire roared on the hearth, beside which was an anvil. By the anvil stood, in similar undress, and in awaiting attitude, hammer in hand, a second youth, tall as the former, but far more slightly built. Reversing the usual course of perception in such meetings, I thought them, at first sight, very unlike ; and, at the second glance, knew that they were brothers. The former, and apparently the elder, was muscular and dark, with curling hair, and large hazel eyes, which sometimes grew wondrously soft. The second
I20 PHANTASTES :
was slender and fair, yet with a countenance like an eagle, and an eye which, though pale blue, shone with an almost fierce expression. He stood erect, as if looking from a lofty mountain crag, over a vast plain outstretched below. As soon as we entered the hall, the elder turned to me, and I saw that a glow of satisfaction shone on both their faces. To my surprise and great pleasure, he addressed me thus :
"Brother, will you sit by the fire and vest, till we finish this part of our work ? "
I signified my assent ; and, resolved to await any disclosure they might be inclined to make, seated myself in silence near the hearth.
The elder brother then laid the sword in the fire, covered it well over, and when it had attained a sufficient degree of heat, drew it out and laid it on the anvil, moving it carefully about, while the younger, with a succession of quick smart blows,
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 121
appeared either to be welding it, or hammering one part of it to a consenting shape with the rest. Having finished, they laid it carefully in the fire ; and, when it was very hot indeed, plunged it into a vessel full of some liquid, whence a blue flame sprang upwards, as the glowing steel en- tered. There they left it; and, drawing two stools to the fire, sat down, one on each side of me.
" We are very glad to see you, brother. We have been expecting you for some days," said the dark-haired youth.
"I am proud to be called your brother," I rejoined; " and you will not think I refuse the name, if I desire to know why you honour me with it ? "
"Ah! then he does not know about it," said the younger. "We thought you had known of the bond betwixt us, and the work we have to do
122 PHANTASTES :
together. You must tell him, brother, from the first."
So the elder began :
" Our father is king of this country. Before we were bom, three giant brothers had appeared in the land. No one knew exactly when, and na one had the least idea whence they came. They took possession of a ruined castle that had stood unchanged and unoccupied within the memory of any of the country people. The vaults of this castle had remained uninjured by time, and these, I presume, they made use of at first. They were rarely seen, and never offered the least injury to any one; so th.it they were regarded in the neigh- bourhood as at least perfectly harmless, if not rather benevolent beings. But it began to be ob- served, that the old castle had assumed somehow or other, no one knew when or how, a somewhat different look from what it used to have. Not
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 123
only were several breaches in the lower part of the walls built up, but actually some of the battle- ments which yet stood, had been repaired, ap- parently to prevent them from falling into worse decay, while the more important parts were being restored. Of course, every one supposed the giants must have a hand in the work, but no one ever saw them engaged in it. The peasants became yet more uneasy, after one, who had con- cealed himself, and watched all night, in the neighbourhood of the castle, reported that he had seen, in full moonlight, the three huge giants working with might and main, all night long, restoring to their former position some massive stones, formerly steps of a grand turnpike stair, a great portion of which had long since fallen, along with part of the wall of the round tower in which it had been built. This wall they were completing, foot by foot, along with the stair. But the people
124 PHANTASTSS :
said t-hey had no just pretext for interfering: although the real reason for letting the giants alone was, that everybody was far too much afraid of them to interrupt them.
"At length, with the help of a neighbouring quarry, the whole of the external wall of the castle was finished. And now the country folks were in greater fear than before. But for several years the giants remained very peaceful. The reason of this was afterwards supposed to be the fact, that they were distantly related to several good people in the country; for, as long as these lived, they remained quiet ; but as soon as they were all dead the real nature of the giants broke out. Having completed the outside of their castle, they pro- ceeded, by spoiling the country houses around them, to make a quite luxurious provision for their comfort within. Affairs reached such a pass, that the news of their robberies came to mv father's
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 135
ears ; but he, alas ! was so crippled in his resources, by a war he was carrying on with a neighbouring prince, that he could only spare a very few men, to attempt the capture of their stronghold. Upon these the giants issued in the night, and slew every man of them. And now, grown bolder by success and impunity, they no longer confined their depre- dations to property, but began to seize the persons of their distinguished neighbours, knights and ladies, and hold them in durance, the misery of which was heightened by all manner of indignity, until they were redeemed by their friends, at an exorbitant ransom. Many knights have adven- tured their overthrow, but to their own instead ; for they have all been slain, or captured, or forced to make a hasty retreat. To crown their enor- mities, if any man now attempts their destruction, they, immediately upon his defeat, put one or more of their captives to a shameful death, on a
126 rHA.VTASTES .
turret in sight of all passers-by; so that they have been much less molested of late ; and we, although we have burned, for years, to attack these demons and destroy them, dared, not, for the sake of their captives, risk the adventure, before we should have reached at least our earliest manhood. Now, ■ however, we are pre- paring for the attempt; and the grounds of this preparation are these. Having only the reso- lution, and not the experience, necessary for the undertalcing, we went and consulted a lonely woman of wisdom, who lives not ver)' far from here, in the direction of the quarter from which you have come. She received us most kindly, and gave us what seems to us the best of advice. She first inquired what experience we had had in arms. We told her we had been well exercised from our boyhood, and for some years had kept ourselves in constant practice, with a view to this necessity.
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 137
" ' But you have not actually fought for life and death ? ' said she.
" We were forced to confess we had not.
"'So much the better in some respects,' she replied. ' Now, listen to me. Go first and work with an armourer, for as long time as you find needful to obtain a knowledge of his craft ; which will not be long, seeing your hearts will be all in the work. Then go to some lonely tower, you two alone. Receive no visits from man or woman. There forge for yourselves every piece of armour that you wish to wear, or to use, in your coming encounter. And keep up your exercises. As, however, two of you can be no match for the three giants, I will find you, if I can, a third brother, who wU take on himself the third share of the fight, and the preparation. Indeed, I have already seen one who will, I think, be the very man for your fellowship; but it will be some time
128 PHANTASTES :
before he comes to me. He is wandering now witliout an aim. I will show him to you in a glass, and, when he comes, you will know him at once. If he will share your endeavours, you must teach him all you know, and he -will repay you well, in present song, and in future deeds.'
" She opened the door of a curious old cabinet that stood in the room. On the inside of this door was an oval convex mirror. Looking in it for some time, we at length, saw reflected the place where we stood, and the old dame seated in her chair. Our fomis were not reflected. But at the feet of the dame, lay a young man, yourself, weeping.
" ' Surely this youth will not sers'e our ends,' said I, ' for he weeps. '
"The old woman smiled. 'Past tears are iresent strength,' said she.
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 129
" ' Oh ! ' said my brother, ' I saw you weep 3iice over an eagle you shot.'
" 'That was because it was sohkeyou, brother,' I rephed ; ' but indeed, this youth may have better cause for tears tlian that — I was wrong.'
" ' Wait a while,' said the woman ; ' if I mis- take not, he will make you weep till your tears are dry for ever. Tears are the only cure for weeping. And you may have need of the cure, before you go forth to fight the giants. You must wait for him, in your tower, till he comes.'
" Now, if you will join us, we will soon teach you to make your armour ; and we will fight together, and work together, and love each other as never three loved before. And you will sing to us, will you not ? "
"That I will, when I can," I answered ; "but It is only at times that the power of song comes upon me. For that I must wait ; but I have a
VOL. VI. K
I30 PHANTASTES :
feeling that if I work well, sor.g will not be far off to enliven the labour."
This was all the compact made : the brothers required nothing more, and I did not think of giving anything more. I rose, and threw off my upper garments.
" I know the uses of the sword," I said. " I am ashamed of my white hands beside yours so nobly soiled and hard ; but that shame will soon be wiped away."
" No, no ; we will not work to-day. Rest is as needful as toil. Bring the wine, brother ; it is your turn to serve to-day."
The younger brother soon covered a table with rough viands, but good wine ; and we ate and drank heartily, beside our work. Before the meal was over, I had learned all their story. Each had something in his heart which made the convic- tion, that he would victoriously perish in the
I
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 131
coming conflict, a real sorrow to him. Other- wise they thought they would have lived enough. The causes of their trouble were respectively these : —
While they wrought with an armourer, in a city famed for workmanship in steel and silver, the elder had fallen in love with a lady as far beneath him in real rank, as she was above the station he had as apprentice to an armourer. Nor did he seek to further his suit by discovering himself; but there was simply so much manhood about him, that no one ever thought of rank when in his company. This is what his brother said about it. The lady could not help loving him in return. He told her when he left her, that he had a perilous adventure before him, and that when it was achieved, she would either see him return to claim her, or hear that he had died with honour. The younger brother's grief arose from the fact,
13a PHANTASTES-
that, if they were both slalrij his old father, the king, would be childless. His love for his father was so exceeding, that to one unable to sympathize with it, it would have appeared extravagant. Both loved him equally at heart ; but the love of the younger had been more developed, because his thoughts and anxieties had not been otherwise occupied. When at home, he had been his con- stant companion ; and, of late, had ministered to the infirmities of his growing age. The youth was never weary of listening to the tales of his sire's youthful adventures ; and had not yet in the smallest degree lost the conviction, that his father was the greatest man in the world. The grandest triumph possible to his conception was, to return to his father, laden witli the spoils of one of the hated giants. But they both were in some dread, lest the thought of the loneliness of these two might occur to them, in the moment
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 133
when decision was most necessary, and disturb, in some degree, the self-possession requisite for the success of their attempt. For, as I have said, they were yet untried in actual conflict. "Now," thought I, "I see to what the powers of my gift must minister." For my own part, I did not dread death, for I had nothing to care to live for ; but I dreaded the encounter because of the responsibility connected with it. I resolved how- ever to work hard, and thus grow cool, and quick, and forceful.
The time passed away in work and song, in talk and ramble, in friendly fight and brotherly aid. I would not forge for myself armour of heavy mail like theirs, for I was not so powerful as they, and depended more for any success I might secure, npon nimbleness of motion, certainty of eye, and ready response of hand. Therefore I began to make for myself a shirt of steel plates and rings ;
1 34 PHA NT AS T£S :
which work, while more troublesome, was better suited to me than the heavier labour. Much assistance did the brothers give me, even after, by their instructions, I was able to. make some progress alone. Their work was in a moment abandoned, to render any required aid to mine. As the old woman had promised, I tried to repay them with song ; and many were the tears they both shed, over my ballads and dirges. The songs they liked best to hear were two which I made for them. They were not half so good as many others I knew, especially some I had learned from the wise woman in the cottage ; but what comes nearest to our needs we like the best.
The king sat on his throne.
Glowing in gold and red ; The crown in his right hand shone.
And the grey hairs crowned his head.
A FAERIE ROMANCE. i
His only son walks in,
And in walls of steel he stands : " Make me, O father, strong to win.
With the blessing of holy hands."
He knelt before his sire,
\Vlio blessed him with feeble smile ; His eyes shone out with a kingly fire,
But his old lips quivered the while.
" Go to the fight, my son.
Bring back the giant's head : .\nd the crown with which my brows have done.
Shall glitter on thine instead."
" My father, I seek no crown.
But unspoken praise from thee ; For thy people's good, and thy renown,
I will die to set them free."
The king sat down and waited there.
And rose not, night nor day ; Till a sound of shouting filled the air.
And cries of a sore dismay
Then like a king he sat once more.
With the crown upon his head ; And up to the throne the people bore
A mighty giant dead.
PHANTASTES :
And up to the throne the people bore
A pale and lifeless boy. The king rose up like a prophet of yore,
In a lofty, deathlike joy.
He put the crown on the chilly brow ;
" Thou should'st have reigned witli ine : But Death is the king of both, and now
I go to obey with thee.
" Surely some good in me there lay,
To beget the noble one." The old man smiled like a winter day.
And fell beside his son.
" O lady, thy lover is dead," they cried ;
" He is dead, but hath slain the foe ; He hath left his name to be magnified
In a song of wonder and woe."
" Alas ! I am well repaid," said she, " With a pain that stings like joy ;
For I feared, from his tenderness to me. That he was but a feeble boy.
" Now I shall hold my head on high. The queen among my kind
A FAERIE ROMA.\CE. 137
If ye hear a sound, 'tis only a sigh For a glory left behind."
The first three times I sang these songs, they both w'ept passionately. But after the third time, they wept no more. Their eyes shone, and their faces grew pale, but they never wept at any of r>y songs again.
138 PHANTASTES:
XXI.
I put my life in my hands.
The Book of Judges.
At length, with much toil and equal delight, our armour was finished. We armed each other, and tested the strength of the defence, with many blows of loving force. I was inferior in strength to both my brothers, but a little more agile than either ; and upon this agility, joined to precision in hitting with the point of my weapon, I grounded my hopes of success in the ensuing combat. I likewise laboured to develope yet more the keenness of sight with which I was naturally gifted ; and, from the remarks of my companions, I soon learned that my endeavours were not in vain.
The morning arrived on which we had deter-
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 13;
mined to make the attempt, aiid succeed or perish — perhaps both. We had resolved to fight on foot ; knowing that the mishap of many of the knights who had made the attempt, had resulted from the fright of their horses at the appearance of the giants ; and believing with Sir Gawain, that, though mare's sons might be false to us, the earth would never prove a traitor. But most of our preparations were, in their immediate aim at least, frustrated.
We rose, that fatal morning, by day-break. We had rested from all labour the day before, and now were fresh as the lark. We bathed in cole spring water, and dressed ourselves in clean gar ments, with a sense of preparation, as for a solemr festivity. When we had broken our fast, I took an old lyre, which I had found in the tower and had myself repaired, and sung for the last time the two ballads of which I have said so much
I40 PHANTASTES :
already. I followed them with this, for a closing song :—
Oh, well for him who breaks his dream With the blow that ends the strife ;
And, waking, knows the peace that flows Around the pain of life I
We are dead, my brothers ! Our bodies clasp,
As an armour, our souls about ; This hand is the battle-axe I grasp.
And this my hammer stout.
Fear not, my brothers, for we are dead ;
No noise can break our rest ; The calm of the grave is about the head.
And the heart heaves not the breast.
And our life we throw to our people back.
To live with, a further store ; We leave it thera, that there be no lack
In the land where we live no more.
Oh, well for him who breaks his dream With the blow that ends the strife ;
And, waking, knows the peace that flows Around the noise of life !
As the last few tones of the instrument were
'
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 141
following, like a dirge, the death of the song, we all sprang to our feet. For, through one of the little windows of the tower, towards which I had looked as I sang, I saw, suddenly rising over the edge of the slope on which our tower stood, three enormous heads. The brothers knew at once, by my looks, what caused my sudden movement. We were utterly unarmed, and there was no time to arm. But we seemed to adopt the same resolution simul- taneously ; for each caught up his favourite weapon, and, leaving his defence behind, sprang to the door. 1 snatched up a long rapier, abruptly, but very finely pointed, in my sword -band, and in the othei a sabre ; the elder brother seized his heavy battle- axe ; and the younger, a great, two-handed sword, which he wielded in one hand, like a feather. We had just time to get clear of the tower, embrace and say good-bye, and part to some little distance, that we might not incumber each other's motions,
142 PHANTASTES ;
ere the triple giant-brotherhood drew near to attack us. They were about twice our height, and armed to the teeth. Through the visors of their helmets, their monstrous eyes shone with a horrible ferocity. I was in the middle position, and the middle giant approached me. My eyes were busy with his armour, and I was not a moment in settling my mode of attack. I saw that his body- armour was somewhat clumsily made, and that the overlappings in the lower part had more play than necessary ; and I hoped that, in a fortunate moment, some joint would open a little, in a visible and accessible part I stood till he came near enough to aim a blow at me with the mace, which has been, in all ages, the favourite weapon of giants, when, of course, I leaped aside, and let the blow fall upon the spot where I had been standing. I expected this would strain the joints of his armour yet more. Full of fury, he made at me again ; but
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 143
1 kept him busy, constantly eluding his blows, and hoping thus to fatigue him. He did not seem to fear any assault from me, and I attempted none as yet ; but while I watched his motions in order to avoid his blows, I, at the same time, kept equal watch upon those joints of his armour, through some one of which I hoped to reach his life. At length, as if somewhat fatigued, he paused a moment, and drew himself slightly up ; I bounded forward, foot and hand, ran my rapier right through to the armour of his back, let go the hilt, and passing under his right arm, turned as he fell, and flew at him with my sabre. At one happy blow, I divided the band of his helmet, which fell off, and allowec' me, with a second cut across the eyes, to blind him ouite ; after which I clove his head, and turned, uninjured, to see how my brothers had fared. Both the giants were down, but so were my brothers. I flew first to the one and th^ to the
144 PHANTASTES-
other couple. Both pairs of combatants were dead, and yet locked together, as in the death-struggle. The elder had buried his battle-axe in the body of his foe, and had fallen beneath him as he fell. The giant had strangled him in his own death- agonies. The younger had nearly hewn off the left leg of his enemy ; and. grappled with in the act, had, while they rolled together on the earth, found for his dagger a passage betwixt the gorget • and cuirass of the giant, and stabbed him mortally in the throat. The blood from the giant's throat was yet pouring over the hand of his foe, which still grasped the hilt of the dagger sheathed in the wound. They lay silent. I, the least worthy, remained the sole survivor in the lists.
As I stood exhausted amidst the dead, after the first worthy deed of my life, I suddenly looked behind me, and there lay the Shadow, black in the sunshine. I went into the lonely tower, and
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 14s
there lay the useless armour of the noble youths — supine as they. Ah, how sad it looked ! It was a glorious death, but it was death. My songs could not comfort me now. I was almost ashamed that I was alive, when they, the true-hearted, were no more. And yet I breathed freer to think that I had gone through the trial, and had not failed. And perhaps I may be forgiven, if some feelings of pride arose in my bosom, when I looked down ou the mighty form, that lay dead by my hand.
"After all, however," I said to myself, and my heart sank, "it was only skill. Your giant was but a blunderer."
I left the bodies of friends and foes, peaceful enough when the death-fight was over, and, hastening to the country below, roused the peasants. They came with shouting and gladness, bringing waggons to carry the bodies. I resolved to take the princes home to their father,
146 PHA NT A S TES :
each as he lay, in the arms of his country's foe. But first I searched the giants, and found the keys of their castle, to which I repaired, followed by a great company of the people. It was a place of wonderful strength. I released the prisoners, knights and ladies, all in a sad condition, from the cruelties and neglects of the giants. It humbled me to see them crowding round me with thanks, when in truth the glorious brothers, lying dead by their lonely tower, were those to whom the thanks belonged. I had but aided in carrying out the thought bom in their brain, and uttered in visible form before ever I laid hold thereupon. Yet I did count myself happy to have been chosen for their brother in this great deed.
After a few hours spent in refreshing and cloth- ing the prisoners, we all commenced our journey towards the capital. This was slow at first ; but, as the strength and spirits of the prisoners returned,
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 147
it became more rapid ; and in three days we reached the palace of the king. As we entered the city gates, with the huge bulks lying each on a waggon drawn by horses, and two of them inextricably intertwined with the dead bodies of their princes, the people raised a shout and then a cry, and followed in multitudes the solemn pro- cession.
I will not attempt to describe the behaviour of the grand old king. Joy and pride in his sons overcame his sorrow at their loss. On me he heaped every kindness that heart could devise or hand execute. He used to sit and question me, night after night, about everything that was in any way connected with them and their preparations. Our mode of life, and relation to each other, during the time we spent together, was a constant theme. He entered into the minutest details of the construction of the armour, even '.o a peculiar
148 PHA NT AS TES :
mode of riveting some of the plates, with unweary- ing interest This armour I had intended to beg of the king, as my sole memorials of the contest ; but, when I saw the delight he took in contem- plating it, and the consolation it appeared to afford him in his sorrow, I could not ask for it ; but, at his request, left my own, weapons and all, to be joined with theirs in a trophy, erected in the grand square of the palace. The king, with gorgeous ceremony, dubbed me knight with his own old hand, in which trembled the sword of his youth.
During the short time I remained, my company was, naturally, much courted by the young nobles. I was in a constant round of gaiety and divcriHon, notwithstanding that the court was in mourning. For the .-ountry was so rejoiced at the death of the giants, and so many of their lost friends had been restored to the nobility and men of wealth,
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 149
that the gladness surpassed the grief. " Ye liave indeed left your lives to your people, my great brothers ! " 1 said.
But I was ever and ever haunted by the old shadow, which I had not seen all the time that I was at work in the tower. Even in the society of the ladies of the court, who seemed to think it only their duty to make my stay there as pleasant to me as possible, I could not help being conscious of its presence, although it might not be annoying me at the time. At length, somewhat weary of uninter- rupted pleasure, and nowise strengthened thereby, either in body or mind, I put on a splendid suit of armour of steel inlaid with silver, vt^hich the old king had given me, and, mounting the horse on which it had been brought to me, took my leave of the palace, to visit the distant city in which the lady dwelt, whom the elder prince had loved. I anticipated a sore task, in conveying to
ISO PHANTASTES:
her the news of his glorious fate .: but this trial was spared me, in a manner as strange as anything that had happened to me in Fairy Land.
A FAERIE ROMANCE.
XXII.
Niemand hat meine Gestalt als der Ich.
ScJwJiJ'c, in Jean Paul's Titaiu
No one has my form but the /.
Joy's a subtil elf. I think man's happiest when he forgets himself.
Cyril Tourneur. — T/te Revenger's Tragedy.
On the third day of my journey, I was riding gently along a road, apparently little frequented, to judge from the grass that grew upon it. I was approaching a forest. Everywhere in Fairy Land, forests are the places where one may most cer- tainly expect adventures. As I drew near, a youth, unarmed, gentle, and beautiful, who had just cut a branch from a yew growing on the skirts of the wood, evidently to make himself a bow, met me, and thus accosted me :
152 PHANTASTES :
"Sir knight, be careful as thou ridest through this forest ; for it is said to be strangely en- chanted, in a sort which even those who have been witnesses of its enchantment, can hardly describe."
I thanked him for his advice, which I promised to follow, and rode on. But the moment I entered the wood, it seemed to me that, if en- chantment there was, it must be of a good kind ; for the Shadow, which had been more than visually dark and distressing, since I had set out on this journey, suddenly disappeared. I felt a wonderful elevation of spirits, and began to re- flect on my past life, and especially on my combat with the giants, with such satisfaction, that I had actually to remind myself, that I had only killed one of them; and that, but for the brothers, I should never have had the idea of attacking them, not to mention the smallest power of standing to
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 133
it. Still I rejoiced, and counted myself amongst the glorious knights of old; having even the unspeakable presumption— my shame and self- condemnation at the memory of it are such, that I write it as the only and sorest penance I can perform — to think of myself (will the world believe it ? ) as side by side with Sir Galahad ! Scarcely had the thought been bom in my mind, when, approaching me from the left, through the trees, I espied a resplendent knight, of mighty size, whose armour seemed to shine of itself, without the sun. When he drew near, I was astonished to see that this armour was like my own ; nay, I could trace, line for line, the correspondence of the inlaid silver to the device on my own. His horse, too, was like mine in colour, form, and motion ; save that, like his rider, he was greater and fiercer than his counterpart. The knight rode with beaver
IS4 PHANTASTES.
up. As he halted right opposite to me in the narrow path, baning my way, I saw the reflection of my countenance in the centre plate of shining steel on his breastplate. Above it rose the same face — his face — only, as I have said, larger and fiercer. I was bewildered. 1 could not help feeling some admiration of him, but it was mingled with a dim conviction that he was evil, and that I ought to fight with him.
"Let me pass," I said.
" When I will," he replied.
Something ^vithin me said : " Spear in rest, and ride at him ! else thou art for ever a slave. "
I tried, but my arm trembled so much, that I could not couch my lance. To tell the truth, I, who had overcome the giant, shook like a coward before this knight He gave a scornful laugh, that echoed through the wood, turned his horse, and said, without looking round, " Follow me."
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 155
I obeyed, abashed and stupified. How long he led, and how long I followed, I cannot tell. "I never knew misery before," I said to myself. " Would that I had at least struck him, and had had my death-blow in return ! Why, then, do I not call to him to wheel and defend himself? Alas ! I know not why, but I cannot. One look from him would cow me like a beaten hound." I followed, and was silent.
At length we came to a dreary square tower, in the middle of a dense forest. It looked as if scarce a tree had been cut do%vn to make room for it. Across the very door, diagonally, grew the stem of a tree, so large that there was just room to squeeze past it in order to enter. One miserable square hole in the roof was the only visible suggestion of a window. Turret or battle- ment, or projecting masonry of any kind, it had none. Clear and smooth and m?.«sv, it rose from
156 PHANTASTES :
its base, and ended with a line straight and un- broken. The roof, carried to a centre from each of the four walls, rose slightly to the point where the rafters met. Round the base lay several little heaps of either bits of broken branches, withered and peeled, or half-whitened bones; I could not distinguish which. As I approached, the ground sounded hollow beneath my horse's hoofs. The knight took a great key from his pocket, and reaching past the stem of the tree, with some difficulty opened the door. "Dismount;" he commanded. I obeyed. He turned my horse's head away from the tower, gave him a terrible blow with the flat side of his sword, and sent him madly tearing through the forest.
"Now," said he, "enter, and take your companion with you."
I looked round : knight and horse had vanished,
A .fAERIE ROMANCE. 157
and behind me lay the horrible shadow. I entered, for I could not help myself; and the shadow followed me. I had a terrible conviction that the knight and he were one. The door closed behind me.
Now I was indeed in pitiful plight. There was literally nothing in the tower but my shadow and me. The walls rose right up to the roof; in which, as I had seen from without, there was one little square opening. This I now knew to be the only window the tower possessed. I sat down on the floor, in listless wretchedness. I think I must have Mleu asleep, and have slept for hours ; for I suddenly became aware of existence, in observing that the moon was shining through the hole in the root As she rose higher and higher, her light crept down the wall over me, till at last it shone right upon my head. Instantaneously the walls of the tower seemed to vanish away like a mist. I
158 PHANTASTES:
sat beneath a beech, on the edge of a forest, and the open countiy lay, in the moonlight, for miles and miles around me, spotted with glimmering houses and spires and towers. I thought with myself, "Oh, joy! it was only a dream; the horrible narrow waste is gone, and I wake beneath a beech-tree, perhaps one that loves me, and I can go where I will." I rose, as I thought, and walked about, and did what I would, but ever kept near the tree; for always, and, of course, since my meeting with the woman of the beech-tree far more than ever, I loved that tree. So the night wore on. I waited for the sim to rise, before I could venture to renew my journey. But as soon as the first faint light of the dawn appeared, instead of shining upon me from the eye of the morning, it stole like a fainting ghost through the little square hole above my head ; and the walls came out as the light grew, and the
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 159
glorious night was swallowed up of the hateful day. The long dreary day passed. My shadow lay black on the floor. I felt no hunger, no need of food. The night came. The moon shone. I watched her light slowly descending the wall, as I might have watched, adown the sky, the long, swift approach of a helping angel. Her rays touched me, and I was free. Thus night after night passed away. I should have died but for this. Every night the conviction returned, that I was free. Every morning I sat wretchedly dis- consolate. At length, when the course of the moon no longer permitted her beams to touch me, the night was dreary as the day. When I slept, I was somewhat consoled by my dreams ; but all the time I dreamed, I knew that I was only dreaming. But one night, at length, the moon, a mere shred of pallor, scattered a few thin ghostly rays upon me ; and I think I fell asleep
i6o PHA NT A S TES :
and dreamed. I sat in an autumn night, before the vintage, on a hill overlooking my own castle. My heart sprang with joy. Oh, to be a child again, innocent, fearless, without shame or desire ! I walked down to the castle. All were in con- sternation at my absence. My sisters were weep- ing for my loss. They sprang up and clung to me, ■with incoherent cries, as I entered. My old friends came flocking round me. A grey light shone on the roof of the hall. It was the light of the dawn shining through the square window of my tower. More earnestly than ever, I longed for freedom after this dream ; more drearily than ever, crept on the next wretched day. I measured by the sunbeams, caught through the little window in the trap of my tower, how it went by, waiting only for the dreams of the night.
About noon, I started as if something foreign to all my senses and all my experience, had suddenly
A FAERIE ROMANCE. i6i
invaded me ; yet it was only the voice of a woman singing. My whole frame quivered with joy, sur- prise, and the sensation of the unforeseen. I/ike a living soul, like an incarnation of Nature, the song entered my prison-house. Each tone folded its wings, and laid itself, like a caressing bird, upon my heart. It bathed me like a sea ; inwrapt me like an odorous vapour ; entered my soul like a long draught of clear spring-water ; shone upon me like essential sunlight ; soothed me like a mother's voice and hand. Yet, as the clearest forest-well tastes sometimes of the bitterness of decayed leaves, so to my weary, prisoned heart, its cheerfulness had a sting of cold, and its tenderness unmanned me with the faintness of long-departed joys. I wept half-bitterly, half- luxuriously ; but not long. I dashed away the tears, ashamed of a weakness which I thought I had abandoned. Ere I knew, I had walked to
i62 PlIA NTA S TES :
the" door, and seated myself with my car against
it, in order to catch every syllable of the revelation
from the unseen outer world. And now I heard
each word distinctly. The singer seemed to be
standing or silting near the tower, for the sounds
indicated no, change of place. The song was
something like this : —
The sun, like a golden knot on high.
Gathers the glories of the sky.
And binds them into a shining tent.
Roofing the world with the firmament.
And through the pavilion the rich winds blow.
And through the pavilion the waters go.
And the birds fDr joy, and the trees for prayer.
Bowing their heads in the sunny air.
And for thoughts, the gently talking springs.
That come from the centre with secret things —
All make a music, gentle and strong.
Bound by the heart into one sweet song.
And amidst them all, the mother Earth
Sits with the children of her birth ;
She tendelh them all, as a mother hen
Her little ones round her, twelve or ten :
Oft she sitteth, with hands on knee.
Idle with love for her family.
A FAERIE ROMAXCE. 163
Go forth to her from the Uark and tlie dust,
And weep beside her, if weep thou must ;
If she may not hold thee to her breast.
Like a weary infant, that cries for rest ;
At least she will press thee to her knee.
And tell a low, sweet tale to thee.
Till the hue to thy cheek, and the light to thuic eye.
Strength to thy limbs, and courage high
To thy fainting heart, return amain.
And away to work thou goest again.
From the narrow desert, O man of pride.
Come uito the house, so high and wide.
Hardly knowing what I did, I opened tlic door. Why had I not done so before ? I do not know. At first I could see no one ; but wlieu I had forced myself past the tree which grew across the entrance, I saw, seated on the ground, and leaning against the tree, with her back to my prison, a beautiful woman. Her countenance seemed known to nie, and yet unknown. She looked up at me and smiled, when I made my appearance.
M 2
i64 PHANTA^TES:
" Ah ! were you the prisoner there ? 1 am vcr^ glad I have wiled you out."
" Do you know me then ? "
" Do you not know me ? But you hurt me, and that, I suppose, makes it easy for a man to forget. You broke my globe. Yet I thank you. Perhaps I owe you many thanks for breaking it. I took the pieces, all black, and wet with crying over them, to the Fairy Queen. There was no music and no light in them now. But she took them from me, and laid them aside ; and made me go to sleep in a great hall of white, with black pillars, and many red curtains. When I woke in the morning, I went to her, hoping to have my globe again, whole and sound ; but she sent me away without it, and I have not seen it since. Nor do I care for it now. I have something so much better. I do not need the globe to play to me ; for I can sing. I
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 163
couUl not sing at all before. Now I go about everj'^vhere through Fairy Land, singing till my heart is like to break, just like my globe, for very joy at my own songs. And wherever I go, my songs do good, and deliver people. And now I have delivered you, and I am so happy."
She ceased, and the tears came into her eyes.
All this time, I had been gazing at her ; and now fully recognised the face of the child, glorified in the countenance of the woman. I was ashamed and humbled before her ; but a great weight was lifted from my thoughts. I knelt before her, and thanked her, and begged her to forgive me.
"Rise, rise," she said; "I have nothing to forgive ; I thank you. But now I must be gone, for I do not know how many may be waiting for me, here and there, through the dark forests ; and they cannot come out till I come."
i66 PHANTASTES :
She rose, and with :i smile and a farewell, turned and left me. I dared not ask her to slay ; in fact, I could hardly speak to her. Between her and me, there was a great gulf. She was uplifted by sorrow and well-doing, into a region I could hardly hope ever to enter. I watched her de- parture, as one watches a sunset. She went like a radiance through the dark wood, which was hence- forth bright to me, from simply knowing that such a creature was in it. She was bearing the sun to the unsunned spots. The light and the music of her broken globe were now in her heart and her brain. As she went, she sang ; and I caught these few words of her song ; and the tones seemed to linger and wind about the trees after she had disappeared : —
Thou goest thine, and I go mine —
Many ways we wend ; Many days, and many ways,
Ending in one end.
.-. FAERIE ROMAXCE. i6;
Many a wrong, and its curing song ;
Many a road, and many an inn ; Room to roam, but only one home
For all the world to win.
And so she vanished. With a sad heart, soothed by humility, and the knowledge of hei peace and gladness, I bethought me what now I should do. First, I must leave the tower far be- hind me, lest, in some evil moment, I might be once more caged within its horrible walls. But it was ill walking in my Tieavy armour ; and besides I had now no right to the golden spurs and the resplendent mail, fitly dulled with long neglect. I might do for a squire ; but I honoured knight- hood too highly, to call myself any longer one of the noble brotherhood. I stripped off all my armour, piled it under the tree, just where the lady had been seated, and took my unknown way, eastward through the woods. Of all my weapons, I carried only a short axe in my hand.
i68 PHA NTASTES :
Then first I knew the delight of being lowly ; ot saying to myself, "I am what I am, nothing more." "I have failed," I said; "I have lost myself — would it had been my shadow." I looked round : the shadow was nowhere to be seen. Ere long, I learned that it was not myself, but only my shadow, that I had lost. I learned that it is better, a thousand-fold, for a proud man to fall and be humbled, than to hold up his head in his pride and fancied innocence. I learned that he that will be a hero, will barely be a man ; that he that will be nothing but a doer of his work, is sure of his manhood. In nothing was my ideal lowered, or dimmed, or grown less precious ; I only saw it too plainly, to set myself for a moment beside it. Indeed, my ideal soon became my life ; whereas, formerly, my life had consisted in a vain attempt to behold, if not my ideal in myself, at least myself in my ideal. Now, how-
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 169
ever, I took, at first, what perhaps M-as a mistaken pleasure, in despising and degrading myself. Another self seemed to arise, like a white spirit from a dead man, from the dumb and trampled self of the past. Doubtless, this self must again die and be buried, and again, from its tomb, spring a winged child ; but of this my history as yet bears not the record. Self will come to life even in the slaying of self ; but there is ever something deeper and stronger than it, which will emerge at last from the unknown abysses of the soul : will it be as a solemn gloom, burning with eyes ? or a clear morning after the rain ? or a smiling child, that finds itself nowhere, and everywhere ?
PHANTASTES ,
XXIII.
High erected thought, seated in a heart of courtesy.
Sir Philip Sidney.
A sweet attractive kinde of grace, A full assurance given by lookes,
Continuall comfort in a face, The lineaments of Gospell bookes.
Matthew Rovdon, on Sir Philip Sidney,
I HAD not gone far, for I had but just lost sight of the hated tower, when a voice of another sort, sounding near or far, as the trees permitted or intercepted its passage, reached me. It was a full, deep, manly voice, but withal clear and melodious. Now it burst on the ear with a sudden swell, and anon, dying away as suddenly, seemed to come to me across a great space. Nevertheless, it drew nearer ; till, at last, I could distinguish the words of the song, and get transient glimpses of the
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 171
sinyer, between the columns of tlie trees. lie came nearer, dawning upon me like a growing thouglit. He was a knight, armed from head to heel, moimted upon a strange-looking beast, whose form I could not understand. The wor.ls which I heard him sing were like these :—
Heart be stout,
And eye be true ; Good blade out !
And ill shall rue.
Courage, horse !
Thou lackst no skill ; Well thy force
Hath matched my will
For the foe.
With fiery breath, At a blow.
Is 5till in death.
Gently, horse !
Tread fearlessly ; Tis his corse
That burdens thee.
PHANTASTES :
The sun's eye Is fierce at noon ;
Thou and I Will rest full soon.
And new strength New work will meet ;
Till, at length. Long rest is sweet.
And now horse and rider had arrived near enough for me to see, fastened by the long neck to the hinder part of the saddle, and traiHng its hideous length on the ground behind, the body of a great dragon. It was no wonder that, with such a drag at his heels, the horse could make but slow progress, notwithstanding his evident dismay. The horrid, serpent-like head, with its black tongue, forked with red, hanging out of its jaws, dangled against the horse's side. Its neck was covered with long blue hair ; its sides with scales of green and gold. Its back was of cornigated
iwwBwWOT-fnWwitf " •
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 173
skin, of a purple hue. Its belly was similar in nature, but its colour was leaden, dashed with blotches of livid blue. Its skinny, bat-like wings and its tail were of a dull grey. It was strange to see how so many gorgeous colours, so many curving lines, and such beautiful things as wings and hair and scales, combined to fomi the horrible creature, intense in ugliness.
The knight was passing me with a salutation ; but, as I walked towards him, he reined up, and I stood by his stirrup. When I came near him, I saw, to my surprise and pleasure likewise, although a sudden pain, like a birth of fire, sprang up in my heart, that it was the knight of the soiled armour, whom I knew before, and whom I had seen in the vision, with the lady of the marble. But I could have thrown my arms around him, because she loved him. This discovery only strengthened the resolution I had formed, before
174 PHANTASTES
I recognised him, of offering myself to the knight, to wait upon him as a squire, for he seemed to be unattended. I made my request in as few words as possible. He hesitated for a moment, and looked at me thoughtfully. I saw (!iat he sus- pected who I was, but that he continued uncertain of his suspicion. No doubt he Avas soon con- vinced of its truth ; but all the time I was with him, not a word crossed his lips with reference to what he evidently concluded I wished to leave unnoticed, if not to keep concealed.
" Squire and knight should be friends," said he: " can you take me by the hand?" And he held out the great gauntleted right hand. I grasped it willingly and strongly. Not a word more was said. The knight gave the sign to his horse, which again began his slow march, and I walked beside and a little behind.
We had not gone very far before we arrived at
A FAERlli ROMANCE. 175
a little cottage ; from which, as we drew near, a . Woman rushed out with the cry :
" My child ! my child ! have you found my child ? "
" I have found her," replied the knight, " but she is sorely hurt. I was forced to leave her with the hermit, as I returned. You will find her there, and I think she will get better. You see I have brought you a present. This wretch will not hurt you again." And he undid the creature's neck, and flung the frightful burden down by the cottage- door.
The woman was now almost out of sight in the wood ; but the husband stood at the door, with speechless thanks in his face.
" You must bury the monster," said the knight. " If I had arrived a moment later, I should have been too late. But now you need not fear, for such a creature as this very rarely
176 PHANTASTES :
appears, in the same part, twice during a lite- time. "
" Will you not dismount and rest you, Sir Knight?" said the peasant, who had, by this time, recovered himself a little.
"That I will, thankfully," said he; and, dis- mounting, he gave the reins to me, and told me to unbridle the horse, and lead him into the shade. " You need not tie him up," he added ; "he will not run away. *'
When I returned, after obeying his orders, and entered the cottage, I saw the knight seated, with- out his helmet, and talking most familiarly with the simple host. I stood at the open door for a moment, and, gazing at 'him, inwardly justified the white lady in preferring him to me. A nobler countenance I never saw. Loving-kindness beamed from every line of his face. It seemed as if he would repay himself for the late arduous
A FAEKIE ROMAXCE. 177
combat, by indulging in all the gentleness of a womanly heart. But when the talk ceased for a moment, he seemed to fall into a reverie. Then the exquisite curA'es of the upper lip vanished. The lip was lengthened and compressed at the same moment. You could have told that, within the lips, the teeth were firmly closed. The whole face grew stem and determined, all but fierce ; only the eyes bumed on like a holy sacrifice, up- lift on a granite rock.
The woman entered, with her mangled child in her arms. She was pale as her little burden. She gazed, with a wild love and despairing tenderness, on the still, all but dead face, white and clear from loss of blood and terror.
The knight rose. The light that had been con- fined to his eyes, now shone from his whole coun- tenance, lie took the little thing in his arms, and, with the mother's help, undressed her, and
,78 P//AiVrASTES :
looked to lier wounds. The tears flowed down his face as he did so. With tender liands he bound them up, kissed the pale cheek, and gave her back to her mother. When he went home, all his tale would be of the grief and joy of the parents ; while to me, who had looked on, the gracious countenance of the armed man, beaming from the panoply of steel, over the seemingly dead child, while the powerful hands turned it and shifted it, and bound it, if possible even more gently than the mother's, formed the centre of the story.
After we had partaken of the best they could give us, the knight took his leave, with a few part- ing instructions to the mother, as to how she should treat the child.
I brought the knight his steed, held the stirrup while he mounted, and then followed him through the wood. The horse, delighted to be free of his
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 17Q
hideous load, bounded beneath the weight of man and armour, and could hardly be restrained from galloping on. But the knight made him time his powers to mine, and so we went on for an hour or two. Then the knight dismounted, and compelled me to get into the saddle, saying : " Knight and squire must share the labour."
Holding by the stirrup, he walked along by my side, heavily clad as he was, with apparent ease. As we went, he led a conversation, in which I took what humble part my sense of my condition would permit me.
" Somehow or other," said he, " notwithstand- ing the beauty of' this country of Faerie, in which we are, there is much that is wrong in it. If there are great splendours, there are corresponding hor- rors ; heights and depths ; beautiful women and awful fiends ; noble men and weaklings. All a man has to do, is to better wliat he can. And if
N 2
i8o PHANTASTES:
he will settle it with himself, that even renown and success are in themselves of no gi-eat value, and be content to be defeated, if so be that the fault is not his ; and so go to his work with a cool brain and a strong will, he will get it done ; and fare none the worse in the end, that he was not burdened with provision and precaution."
" But he will not always come off well," I ven- tured to say.
"Perhaps not," rejoined the knight, "in the individual act ; but the result of his lifetime will content him."
"So it will fare with you, doubtless," thought I ; "but for me "
Venturing to resume the conversation after a pause, I said, hesitatingly :
" May I ask for what the little beggar-giil wanted your aid, when she came to your castle to find you ? "
A FAERIE ROMANCE. iSi
He looked at nie for a moment in silence, and tlien said : —
" I cannot help wondering how you know of thai ; but there is something about you quite strange enough to entitle you to the privilege of the country ; namely, to go unquestioned. I, however, being only a man, such as you see me, am ready to tell you anything you like to ask me, as far as I can. The little beggar -girl came into the hall where I was sitting, and told me a very curious stor}', which I can only recollect very vaguely, it was so peculiar. What I can recall is, that she was sent to gather wings. As soon as she had gathered a pair of wings for herself, she was to fly away, she said, to the country she came from ; but where that was, she could give no in- formation. She said she had to beg her wings from the butterflies and moths ; and whenever she begged, no one refused her. But slie needed a
i82 FIIANTASTES :
great many of the wings of butterflies and moths to make a pair for her ; and so she had to wander about day after day, looking for butterflies, and night after night, looking for moths ; and then she begged for their wings. But the day before, she had come into a part of the forest, she said, where there were multitudes of splendid butterflies flitting about, with wings which were just fit to make the eyes in the shoulders of hers ; and she knew she could have as many of them as she lilted for the asking ; but as soon as she began to beg, there came a great creature right up to her, and threw her down, and walked over her. When she got up, she saw the wood was full of these beings stalking about, and seeming to have nothing to do with each other. As soon as ever she began to beg, one of them walked over her ; till at last, in dismay, and in growing horror of the senseless creatures, she had run away to look for somebody
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 183
to help her. I asked her what they were like. She said, like great men, made of wood, without knee or elbow-joints, and without any noses or mouths or eyes in their faces. I laughed at the little maiden, thinking she was making child's game of me ; but, although she burst out laughing too, she persisted in asserting the truth of her story.
" ' Only come, knight, come and sec ; I will lead you,'
" So I armed myself, to be ready for anything that might happen, and followed the child ; for, though I could make nothing of her story, I could see she was a little human being in need of some help or other. As she walked before me, I looked attentively at her. Whether or not it was from lieing so often knocked down and walked over, I could not tell, but her clothes were very much torn, and in several places her white skin was
i84 PHANTASTES :
peeping through. I thought she was humpbacked ; but on looking more closely, I saw, through the tatters of her frock — do not laugh at me — a bunch on each shoulder, of the most gorgeous colours. Looking yet more closely, I saw that they were of the shape of folded wings, and were made of all kinds of butterfly-wings and moth-wings, crowded together like the feathers on the individual butter- fly pinion ; but, like them, most beautifully ar- ranged, and producing a perfect harmony of colour and shade. I could now more easily believe the rest of her stoiy ; especially as I saw, every now and then, a certain heaving motion in the wings, as if they longed to be uplifted and outspread. But beneath her scanty garments complete wings could not be concealed, and indeed, from her own story, they were yet unfinished.
" After walking for two or three hours, (how the little girl found her way, I could not imagine) we
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 185
came to a part of the forest, the very air of which was quivering with the motions of multitudes of resplendent butterflies ; as gorgeous in colour, as if the eyes of peacock's feathers had taken to flight, but of infinite variety of hue and form, only that the appearance of some kind of eye on each wing predominated. ' There they are, there they are ! ' cried the child, in a tone of victory mingled with terror. Except for this tone, I should have thought she referred to the butterflies, for I could see no- thing else. But at that moment an enormous butterfly, whose wings had great eyes of blue sur- rounded by confused cloudy heaps of more dingy colouring, just like a break in the clouds on a stormy day towards evening, settled near us. The child instantly began murmuring : ' Butterfly, but- terfly, give me your wings ; ' when, the moment after, she fell to the ground, and began crying as if hurt. I drew my sword and heaved a great blow
1 86 PHA NT A S TES :
in the direction in which the child had fallen. It struck something, and instantly the most grotesque imitation of a man became visible. You see this Fairy Land is full of oddities .and all sorts of in- credibly ridiculous things, which a man is com- pelled to meet and treat as real existences, although all the time he feels foolish for doing so. This being, if being it could be called, v/as like a block of wood roughly hewn into the mere outlines of a man ; and hardly so, for it had but head, body, legs, and anus — the head without a face, and the limbs utterly formless. I had hewn off one of its legs, but the two portions moved on as best they could, quite independent of each other ; so that I had done no good. I ran after it, and clove it in twain from the head downwards ; but it could not be convinced that its vocation was not to walk over people ; for, as soon as the little girl began her begging again, all three parts came bustling
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 187
up ; and if I had not interposed my weight be- tween her and them, she would have been trampled again under them. I saw that something else must be done. If the wood was full of the crea- tures, it would be an endless work to chop them so small that they could do no injury ; and then, besides, the parts would be so numerous, that the butterflies would be in danger from the drift of flying chips. I served this one so, however ; and then told the girl to beg again, and point out the direction in which one was coming. I was glad to find, however, that I could now see him myself, and wondered how they could have been invisible before. I would not allow him to walk over the child ; but while I kept him off, and she began begging again, another appeared ; and it was all I could do, from the weight of my armour, to pro- tect her from the stupid, persevering efforts of the two. But suddenly the right plan occurred to me.
1 88 PHA NT AS T£S :
I tripped one of them up, and, taking hiin by the legs, set him up on his head, with his heels against a tree. I was delighted to find he could not move. Meantime the poor child was v/alked over by the other, but it was for the last time. Whenever one appeared, I followed the same plan — tripped him up and set him on his head ; and so the little beggar was able to gather her wings without any trouble, which occupation she continued for several hours in my company."
" What became of her ? " I asked.
'* I took her home with me to my castle, and she told me all her story ; but it seemed to me, all the time, as if I were hearing a child talk in its sleep. I could not arrange her story in my mind at all, although it seemed to leave hers in some certain order of its own. My wife "
Here the knight checked himself, and said no more. Neither did I urge the conversation farther.
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 189
Thus we journeyed for several days, resting at night in such shelter as we could get ; and when no better was to be had, lying in the forest under some tree, on a couch of old leaves.
I loved the knight more and more. I believe never squire served his master with more care and joyfulness than I. I tended his horse ; I cleaned his armour ; my skill in the craft enabled me to repair it when necessary ; I watched his needs ; and was well repaid for all, by the love itself which I bore him.
"This," I said to myself, "is a true man. I will serve him, and give him all worship, seeing in him the embodiment of what I would fain become. If I cannot be noble myself, I will yet be servant to his nobleness." He, in return, soon showed me such signs of friendship and respect, as made my heart glad ; and I felt that, after all, mine would be no lost life, if I might wait on
iQo PHA N TA S TES :
him to the world's end, although no smile but his should greet me, and no one but him should say, "Well done! he was a good servant !" at last. But I burned to do something more for him than the ordinary routine of a squire's duty permitted.
One afternoon, we began to observe an appear- ance of roads in the wood. Branches had been cut down, and openings made, where footsteps had worn no path below. These indications in- creased as we passed on ; till, at length, we came into a long, narrow avenue, formed by felling the trees in its line, as the remaining roots evidenced. At some little distance, on both hands, we ob- served signs of similar avenues, which appeared to converge with ours, towards one spot. Along these, we indistinctly saw several forms moving, which seemed, with ourselves, to approach tlie common centre. Our path brought us, at last,
A FAERIE ROMANCE. igi
up to a wall of yew trees, growing close together, and intertwining their branches so, that nothing could be seen beyond it. An opening was cut in it like a door, and all the wall was trimmed smooth and perpendicular. The knight dis- mounted, and waited till I had provided for his horse's comfort ; upon which we entered the place together.
It was a great space, bare of trees, and enclosed by four walls of yew, similar to that through which we had entered. These trees grew to a very great height, and did not divide from each other till close to the top, where their summits formed a row of conical battlements all around the walls. The space contained was a parallelogram of great length. Along each of the two longer sides of the interior, were ranged three ranks of men, in white robes, standing silent and solemn, each with a sword by his side, although the rest
192 PHANTA S TES :
of his costume and bearing Avas more piiestly than soldierly. For some distance inwards, the space between these opposite rows was filled with a company of men and women and children, in holiday attire. The looks of all were directed inwards, towards the further end. Far beyond the crowd, in a long avenue, seeming to narrow in the distance, went the long rows of the white- robed men. On what the attention of the multitude was fixed, we could not tell, for the sun had set before we arrived, and it was growing dark within. It grew darker and darker. The multitude waited in silence. The stars began to shine down into the enclosure, and they grew brighter and larger every moment. A wind arose, and swayed the pinnacles of the tree-tops ; and made a strange sound, half like music, half like moaning, through the close branches and leaves of the tree- walls. A young girl who stood beside me, clothed in the
A FAERIE nOMAXCE. igj
=;une dress as the priests, bowed lier head, and grew pale with awe.
The knight whispered to me, " How solemn it is ! Surely they wait to hear the voice of a prophet. There is something good near ! "
But I, though somewhat shaken by the feeling expressed by my master, yet had an unaccountable conviction that here was something bad. So I resolved to be keenly on the watch for what should follow.
Suddenly a great star, like a sun, appeared high in the air over the temple, illuminating it throughout ; and a great song arose from the men in white, which went rolling round and roimd the building, now receding to the end, and now approaching, down the other side, the place where we stood. For some of the singers were I regularly ceasing, and the next to them as regu- larly taking up the song ; so that it crept onwards,
194 Pn AN TASTES
with gradations produced by changes which could not themselves be detected, for only a few of those who were singing ceased at the same moment. The song paused ; and J saw a com- pany of six of the white-robed men walk up the centre of the human avenue, sun-ounding a youth gorgeously attired beneath his robe of white, and wearing a chaplet of flowers on his head. I followed them closely, with my keenest observa- tion ; and, by accompanying their slow progress with my eyes, I was able to perceive more clearly what took place when they arrived at the other end. I knew that my sight was so much more keen than that of most people, that I had good reason to suppose I should see more than the rest could, at such a distance. At the farther end, a throne stood upon a platform, high above the heads of the suiTounding priests. To this platform I saw the company begin to ascend,
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 195
apparently by an inclined plane of gentle slope. The throne itself was elevated again, on a kind of square pedestal, to the top of which led a flight of steps. On the throne sat a majestic- looking figure, whose posture seemed to indicate a mixture of pride and benignity, as he looked down on the multitude below. The company ascended to the foot of the throne, where they all kneeled for some minutes ; then they rose and passed round to the side of the pedestal upon which the throne stood. Here they crowded close behind the youth, putting him in the fore- most place ; and one of them opened a door in the pedestal, for the youth to enter. I was sure I saw him shrink back, and those crowding behind push him in. Then, again, arose a burst of song from the multitude in white, which lasted some time. When it ceased, a new company of seven commenced its march up the centre.
195 PhANTA6 TFS :
As they advanced, I looked up at my master : his noble countenance was full of reverence and awe. Incapable of evil himself, he could scarcely suspect it in another, much less in a multitude such as this, and surrouiided with such appearances of solemnity. I was certain it was the really grand accompaniments that overcame him ; that the stars overhead, the dark towering tops of the yew-trees, and the ^^'ind that, like an unseen spirit, sighed through their branches, bowed his spirit to the belief, that in all these ceremonies lay some great mystical meaning, which, his humility told him, his ignorance prevented him from under- standing.
More convinced than before, that there was evil here, I could not endure that my master should be deceived ; that one like him, so pure and noble, should respect what, if my suspicions
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 197
were true, was worse than the ordinary deceptions of priestcraft. I could not tell how far he might . be led to countenance, and otherwise support their doings, before he should find cause to repent bitterly of his error. I watched the new proces- sion yet more keenly, if possible, than the former. This time, the central figure was a girl ; and, at the close, I observed, yet more indubitably, the shrinking back, and the crowding push. What happened to the victims, I never learned ; but I had learned enough, and I could bear it no longer. I stooped, and whispered to the young girl who stood by mc, to lend me her white garment. I wanted it, that I might not be entirely out of keeping with the solemnity, but might have at least this help to passing unquestioned. She poked up, half-amused and half-bewildered, as if doubting whether I was in earnest or not. But in her perplexity, she permitted me to unfasten it,
-<)8 PHANTASTES :
and slip it down from her shoulders. I easily got possession of it ; and, sinking down on my knees in the crowd, I rose apparently in the habit of one of the wo'-shippers.
Giving my battle-axe to the girl, to hold in pledge for the return of her stole, for I wished to test the matter unarmed, and, if it was a man that sat upon the throne, to attack him with hands bare, as I supposed his must be, I made my way through the crowd to the front, while the singing yet continued, desirous of reaching the platform ■while it was unoccupied by any of the priests. I was permitted to walk up the long avenue of white robes unmolested, though I saw questioning looks in many of the faces as I passed. I presume my coolness aided my passage ; for I felt quite indifferent as to my own fate ; not feeling, after the late events of my history, that I was at all worth taking care of; and enjoying, perhaps,
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 199
something of an evil satisfaction, in the revenge I was thus taking upon the self which had fooled "me so long. When I arrived on the platform, the song had just ceased, and I felt as if all were looking towards me. But instead of kneeling at its foot, I walked right up the stairs to the throne, laid hold of a great wooden image that seemed to sit upon it, and tried to hurl it from its seat. In this I failed at first, for I found it firmly fixed. But in dread lest, the first shock of amazement passing away, the guards would rush upon me before I liad effected my purpose, I strained with all my might ; and, with a noise as of the crack- ing, and breaking, and tearing of rotten wood, something gave way, and I hurled the imags dowTi the steps. Its displacement revealed a great hole in the throne, like the hollow of a decayed tree, going down apparently a great way But I had no time to examine it, for, as I looked
200 PHANTASTES:
into it, up out of it rushed a great brute, like a wolf, but twice the size, and tumbled me headlong with itself, down the steps of the throne. As we fell, however, I caught it by the throat, and the moment we reached the platform, a straggle com- menced, in which I soon got uppermost, with my hand upon its throat, and knee upon its heart. But now arose a wild ciy of wrath and revenge and rescuft A universal hiss of steel, as every sword was swept from its scabbard, seemed to tear the very air in shreds. I heard the rash of hundreds towards the platform on which I knelt. I only tightened my grasp of the brate's throat. His eyes were already starting from his head, and his tongue was hanging out. My anxious hope was, that, even after they had killed me, they would be unable to undo my giipe of his throat, before the monster was past breathing. I there- fore threw all my will, and force, and purpose^
A FAERIE ROMANCE.
into the grasping hand. I remember no blow. A faintness came over me, and my consciousness departed.
rHANTASTES :
XXIV.
Wc are ne'er like angels till our passions die.
Dekker.
This wretched Inn, where we scarce stay to bait. We call our Divelling-Place : We call one Sicp a. Race : But angels in their full enlightened state. Angels, who Liz'e, and know what 'tis to Be, Who all the nonsense of our language see, Who speak things, and our words, their ill-drawn /'ictures, scorn, ^Vhen we, by a foolish figure, say, Behold an old man dead ! then they Speak properly, and cry, Behold a man-child born !
COWLKY.
I WAS dead, and right content. I lay in ny coffin, with my hands folded in peace. The knight, and the lady I loved, wept over me. Her tears fell on my face.
"Ah!" said the knight, "I rushed among.-t 'liien' like a madman. I hewed them down like
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 203
brushwood. Their swords battered on me like hail, but hurt me not. I cut a lane through to my friend. He was dead. But he had throttled the monster, and I had to cut the handful out of its throat, before I could disengage and carry off his body. They dared not molest me as I brought him back."
" He has died well," said the lady.
My spirit rejoiced. They left me to my repose. I felt as if a cool hand had been laid upon my lieart, and had stilled it. My soul was like a sum- mer evening, after a heavy fall of rain, when the drops are yet glistening on the trees in the last rays of the down-going sun, and the wind of the twilight has begim to blow. The hot fever of life had gone by, and I breathed the clear mountain- air of the land of Death. I had never dreamed of such blessedness. It was not that I had in any way ceased to be what I had been. The very
S04 FHANTASTES :
fact that anytliing can die, implies the existence of something that cannot die ; wliich must either take to itself another form, as when the seed that is sown dies, and arises again ; or, in conscious existence, may, perhaps, continue to lead a purely spiritual life. If my passions were dead, the souls of the passions, those essential mysteries of the spirit which had imbodied themselves in the passions, and had given to them all their glory and wondennent, yet lived, yet glowed, with a pure, undying fire. They rose above their vanish- ing earthly garments, and disclosed themselves angels of light. But oh, how beautiful beyond the old form ! I lay thus for a time, and lived as it were an unradiating existence; my soul a motion- jCss lake, that received all things and gave nothmg back ; satisfied in still contemplation, and spiritual consciousness. 'Ere long, they bore me to my grave. Never
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 203
tired child lay down in his white bed, and heard the sound of his playthings being laid aside for the night, with a more luxurious satisfaction of repose tiian I knew, when I felt the coffin settle on the firm earth, and heard the sound of the falling mould upon its lid. It has not the same hollow rattle within the coffin, that it sends up to the edge of the gi'ave. They buried me in no grave- yard. They loved me too much for that, I thank lliem; but they laid me in the grounds of their own castle, amid many trees ; where, as it was spring-time, were growing primroses, and blue bells, and all the families of the woods.
Now that I lay in her bosom, the whole earth, and each of her many births, was as a body to me, at my will. I seemed to feel the great heart of the mother beating into mine, and feeding me with her own life, her own essential being and nature. I heard the footsteps of my
2or, FHANTASTES.
friends above, and they sent a thrill through my heart. I knew that the helpers had gone, and that the knight and the lady remained, and spoke low, gentle, tearful words of him who lay beneath the yet wounded sod. I rose into a single laige primrose that grew by the edge of the grave, and from the window of its humble, trusting face, looked full in the countenance of the lady. I felt that I could manifest myself in the primrose ; that it said a part of what I wanted to say; just as in the old time, I had used to betake myself to a song for the same end. The llower caught her eye. She stooped and plucked it, saying, " Oh, you beautiful creature ! " and, lightly kissing it, put it in her bosom. It was the first kiss she had ever given me. But the flower soon began to wither, and I forsook it.
It was evening. The sun was below the hori- zon; but his rosy beams yet illuminated a feather}"
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 207
cloud, that floated high above the world. I arose. I reached the cloud; and, throwing myself upon it, floated with it in sight of the sinking sun. He sank, and the cloud grew grey ; but the gi-eyness touched not my heart. It carried its rose-hue within ; for now I could love without needing to be loved again. The moon came gliding up with all the past in her wan face. She changed my couch into a ghostly pallor, and threw all the earth below as to the bottom of a pale sea of dreams. But she could not make me sad. I knew now, that it is by loving, and not by being loved, that one can come nearest the soul of another; yea, that, where two love, it is the loving of each other, and not the being beloved by each other, that originates and perfects and assures their blessedness. I knew that love gives to him that loveth, power over any soul beloved, even if that soul know him not, bringing him inwardl-
2o8 PHA NT A S TES :
close to that spirit ; a power that cannot be but for good ; for in proportion as selfishness intrudes, the love ceases, and the power which springs therefrom dies. Yet all love will, one day, meet with its return. All trae love will, one day, behold its own image in the eyes of the beloved, and be humbly glad. This is possible in the realms of lofty Death. "Ah! my friends," thought I, "how 1 will tend you, and wait upon you, and haunt you with my love,"
Wy floating chariot bore me over a great city. Its faint dull sound steamed up into the air— a sound — how composed ? " How many hopeless cries," thought I, "and how many mad shouts go to make up the tumult, here so faint where I float in eternal peace, knowing that they will one day be stilled in the surrounding calm, and that despair dies into infinite hope, and that the seem- ing impossible there, is the law here ! But. O
4 FAERIE ROMANCE. jog
pale-faced women, and gloomy-browed men, anc. forcjotten children, how I will wait on you, and minister to you, and, putting my arms about you in the dark, think hope unto your hearts, when you fancy no one is near! Soon as my senses have all come back, and have grown accustomed to this new blessed life, I will be among you, with the love that healeth."
With this, a pang and a terrible shudder went through me ; a writhing as of death convulsed me ; and I became once again conscious of a more limited, even a bodily and earthly life.
rilANTASTES
XXV.
Unser Lebcn ist kein Trnnm, aber (-s soil und wird vielleicht einer werdcn. Novalis.
Our life is no dream ; but it ought to become one, and perhaps will.
And on the ground, which is my modres gate, I knocke with my staf, eriich and late. And say to hire, Leve mother, let me in.
Chaucer. — The Pardoneres Tale.
Sinking from such a stale of ideal bliss, into the world of shadows which again closed around and infolded me, my first dread was, not unnatu- rally, that my own shadow had found me again, and that my torture had commenced anew. It war. a sad revulsion of feeling. This, indeed, seemed to correspond to what we think death is, before we die. Yet I felt within me a power of calm en- durance to wliich I had hitherto been a stranq;er
A FAERIE ROMANCE. 211
For, in ti-uth, that I should be able if only to think such things as I had been thinking, was an unspeakable deliglit. An liour of such peace made tlie turmoil of a life-time worth striving through.
I found myself lying in the open air, in the early morning, before sunrise. Over me rose the summer heaven, expectant of the sun. The clouds already saw him, coming from afar; and soon eveiy dewdrop would rejoice in his individual presence within it. I lay motionless for a few minutes ; and then slowly rose and looked about me. I was on the summit of a little hiil ; a valley lay beneath, and a range of mountains closed up the view upon ihat side. I!ut, to my horror, across the valley, and up the height of the opposing mountams, stretched, from my very feet, a hugely expanding shade. There it lay, long and large, dark and mighty. I turned away with
212 PHANTASTES:
a sick despair ; when, lo ! I belield the sun just lifting his head above the eastern hill, and the shadow that fell from me, lay only where his beams fell not. I danced for joy. It was only the natural shadow, that goes with every man v^'ho walks in the sun. As he arose, higher and higher, the shadow-head sank down the side of the oppo- site hill, and crept in across the valley towards my feet.
Now that I was so joyously delivered from this /ear, I saw and recognised the country around me. In the valley below, lay my own cn.stie, and the haunts of my childhood were all about me. I hastened home. My sisters received me with luispeakable joy ; but I suppose they observed some change in me, for a kind of respect, \vith a slight touch of awe in it, mingled with their joy, and made me ashamed. They had been in great distress about me. On the morning of my dis-
A FAERIE KOMAA'CE. 31 j
appeai^ance, they had found the floor of my room flooded ; and, all that day, a wondrous and nearly impervious mist had hung about the castle and grounds. I had been gone, they told me, twenty-one days. To me it seemed twenty-one years. Nor could I yet feel quite secure in my new experiences. When, at night, I lay down once more in my own bed, I did not feel at all sure that when I awoke, I should not find myself in some mysterious region of Fairy Land. My dreams were incessant and perturbed ; but when I did awake, I saw clearly that I was in my own home.
My mind soon grew calm ; and I began the duties of my new position, somewhat instructed, I hoped, by the adventures that had befallen me in Fairy Land. Could I translate the experience of my travels there, into common life ? This was 'be question. Or must I live it all over again.
21^ PHANTASTES :
and leam it all over again, in the other forms that belong to the world of men, whose experience yet runs parallel to that of Fairy Land ? These questions I cannot yet answer. But I fear.
Even yet, I find myself looking round some- times with anxiety, to see whether my shadow falls right away from the sun or no. I have never yet discovered any inclination to either side. And if I am not unfrequently sad, I yet cast no more of a shade on the earth, than most men who have lived in it as long as I. I have a strange feeling sometimes, that I am a ghost, sent into the world to minister to my fellow-men, or, rather, to repair the wrongs I have already done. May the world be brighter for me, at least in those portions of it, where my darkness falls not.
Thus I, who set out to find my Ideal, came back rejoicing that I had lost my Shadow.
When the thought of the blessedness I ex-
A FAERIE KOMAXCE. 2.5
pi^riencetl, after my uluIIi in Faiiy Land, is toe hig^h for me to lay hold upon it and hope in it, I often think of the wise woman in the cottage, and of her solemn assurance that she knew something too good to be told. When I am oppressed by any sorrow or real perplexity, I often feel as if I had only left her cottage for a time, and would soon return out of the vision, into it again. Sometimes, on such occasions, I find myself, unconsciously almost, looking about for the mystic mark of red, with the vague hope of entering her door, and being comforted by her wise tenderness. I then console myself by saying: " I have come through the d«or of Dismay ; and the way back from tlie world into which that has led me, is through my tomb. Upon that the red sign lies, and I shall find it one day, and be glad."
I will end my story v/ith the relation of an inci- dent which befell me. a fc^^' days ago. I had been
:'x6 PHANTASrES :
with my reapers, and, when they ceased their wor at noon, I had lain down under the shadow of a great, ancient beech-tree, that stood on the edge of the field. As I lay, with my eyes closed, I began to listen to the sound of the .leaves over- head. At first, they made sweet inarticulate music alone ; but, by and by, the sound seemed to begin to take shape, and to be gradually mould- ing itself into words ; till, at last, I seemed able to distingxiish these, half-dissolved in a little ocean of circumfluent tones: "A great good is coming — is coming — is coming to thee, Anodos;" and so over and over again. I fancied that the sound re- minded me of the voice of the ancient womaVi, in the cottage that was four-square. I opened my eyes, and, for a moment, almost believed that I saw her face, with its many wrinkles and its younc; irycs, looking at me from between two hoary br.iiiclics of the beech overhead. But when I
.-1 FAERIE ROMAXCE. 217
looked more keenly, I saw only twigs and leaves, and tlie infinite sky, in tiny spots, gazing through between. Yet I know that good is coming to me — that good is always coming ; though few have at all times the simplicity and the courage to be- lieve it. What we call evil, is the only and best shape, which, for the person and his condition at the time, could be assumed by the best good. And so, Farewell.
L.\D OK VOL. VI.
Ei/TLiiR & Tanner, Hro.me, and Lo^•Do^f.
WORKS OF FANCY AND IMAGIxVATlON
VOL. VI.
WORKS OF FAXCY AND IMAGINATION
VOL. VI.
WORKS OF FANCY AND IMAGINATION
By GEORGE MAC DONALD, ll.d.
VOL. VI.
fiatham
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