The adventures of Gil Blas of Santillane. [With an introd. by Anatole Le Blaz]

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THE @ @ •©
ADVENTURES
^GIL BLAS
^SANTIILANE

VOLUME

LON DON: PUBLISHED
byJ-MDENT &SONSm'
AND IN NE"^ YORK
BY E'P- DUTTON^CO

/ i

First Issue of this Edition
Reprinted

1910
1914

s K/.:^'p

955096-

All rights reserved

CONTENTS

BOOK THE SEVENTH

Chap. I. — The tender attachment between Gil Bias and
Dame Lorenza Sephora Page i

Chap. II. — What happened to Gil Bias after his retreat
from the Castle of Leyva, shewing that those who are
crossed in love are not always the most miserable of man-
kind 10

Chap. III. — Gil Bias becomes the archbishop's favourite,
and the channel of all his favours i6

Chap. IV. — The archbishop is afflicted with a stroke of
apoplexy. How Gil Bias gets into a dilemma, and how
he gets out 22

Chap. V.— The course which Gil Bias took after the arch-
bishop had given him his dismissal. His accidental
meeting with the licentiate who was so deeply in his debt;
and a picture of gratitude in the person of a parson 26

Chap. VI. — Gil Bias goes to the play at Grenada. His sur-
prise at seeing one of the actresses, and what happened
thereupon 30

Chap. VII. — Laura's story 36

Chap. VIII. — The reception of Gil Bias among the players
at Grenada; and another old acquaintance picked up in
the green-room 50

Chap. IX. — An extraordinary companion at supper, and an
account of their conversation 53

Chap. X. — The Marquis de Marialva gives a commission to
Gil Bias. That faithful secretary acquits himself of it
as shall be related 56

Chap. XI. — A thunderbolt to Gil Bias 60

Chap. XII. — Gil Bias takes lodgings in a ready-furnished
house. He gets acquainted with Captain Chinchilla.
That officer's character and business at Madrid 63

Chap. XIII. — Gil Bias comes across his dear friend Fabricio
at court. Great ecstasy on both sides. They adjourn

vii

viii History of Gil Bias

together, and compare notes; but their conversation is
too curious to be anticipated Page 71

Chap. XIV. — Fabricio finds a situation for Gil Bias in the
establishment of Count Galiano, a Sicilian nobleman 81

Chap. XV. — The employment of Gil Bias in Don Galiano's
household 84

Chap. XVI. — ^An accident happens to the Count de Galiano's
monkey; his lordship's affliction on that occasion. The
illness of Gil Bias, and its consequences 90

BOOK THE EIGHTH

Chap. I. — Gil Bias scrapes an acquaintance of some value,
and finds wherewithal to make him amends for the Count
de Galiano's ingratitude. Don Valerio de Luna's story 97

Chap. II. — Gil Bias is introduced to the Duke of Lerma,
who admits him among the number of his secretaries, and
requires a specimen of his talents, with which he is well
satisfied 102

Chap. III. — All is not gold that glitters. Some uneasiness re-
sulting from the discovery of that principle in philosophy,
and its practical application to existing circumstances 107

Chap. IV. — Gil Bias becomes a favourite with the Duke of
Lerma, and the confidant of an important secret iii

Chap. V. — The joys, the honours, and the miseries of a
court life, in the person of Gil Bias 113

Chap. VI. — Gil Bias gives the Duke of Lerma a hint of his
wretched condition. That minister deals with him
accordingly 117

Chap. VII. — A good use made of the fifteen hundred
ducats. A first introduction to the trade of office, and an
account of the profit accruing therefrom 121

Chap. VIII. — History of Don Roger de Rada 124

Chap. IX. — Gil Bias makes a large fortune h\ a short time,
and behaves like other wealthy upstarts 131

Chap. X. — The morals of Gil Bias become at court much as
if they had never been at all. A commission from the
the Count de Lemos, which, like most court commissions,
implies an intrigue 138

Chap. XL — The Prince of Spain's secret visit, and presents
to CataHna 145

Contents ix

Chap. XII. — Catalina's real condition a worry and alarm
to Gil Bias. His precautions for his own ease and
quiet Page 148

Chap. XIII. — Gil Bias goes on personating the great man.
He hears news of his family: a touch of nature on the
occasion. A grand quarrel with Fabricio 151

BOOK THE NINTH

Chap. I. — Scipio's scheme of marriage for Gil Bias. The
match, a rich goldsmith's daughter. Circumstances
connected with this speculation 155

Chap. II. — In the progress of pohtical vacancies, Gil Bias
recollects that there is such a man in the world as Don
Alphonso de Leyva, and renders him a service from
motives of vanity 159

Chap. III. — Preparations for the marriage of Gil Bias. A
spoke in the wheel of Hymen 162

Chap. IV. — ^The treatment of Gil Bias in the tower of Se-
govia. The cause of his imprisonment 163

Chap. V. — His reflections before he went to sleep that
night, and the noise that waked him 167

Chap. VI. — History of Don Gaston de Cogollos and Donna
Helena de Galisteo 170

Chap. VII. — Scipio finds Gil Bias out in the tower of Sego-
via, and brings him a budget of news 183

Chap. VIII. — Scipio's first journey to Madrid: its object and
success. Gil Bias falls sick. The consequence of his
illness 186

Chap. IX. — Scipio's second journey to Madrid. Gil Bias
is set at liberty on certain conditions. Their departure
from the tower of Segovia, and conversation on their
journey 190

Chap. X. — Their doings at Madrid. The rencounter of
Gil Bias in the street, and its consequences 192

II

BOOK THE TENTH

Chap. I. — Gil Bias sets out for the Asturias, and passes
through Valladolid, where he goes to see his old master,

X History of Gil Bias

Doctor Sangrado. By accident he comes across Signor
Manuel Ordonnez, governor of the hospital Page 196

Chap. II. — Gil Bias continues his journey, and arrives in
safety at Oviedo. The condition of his family. His
father's death, and its consequences 204

Chap. III. — Gil Bias sets out for Valencia, and arrives at
Lirias; description of his seat; the particulars of his recep-
tion, and the characters of the inhabitants he found
there 213

Chap. IV. — A journey to Valencia, and a visit to the Lords
of Leyva. The conversation of the gentlemen, and
Seraphina's demeanour 218

Chap. V. — Gil Bias goes to the play, and sees a new tragedy.
The success of the piece. The public taste at Va-
lencia 223

Chap. VI. — Gil Bias, walking about the streets of Valencia,
meets with a man of sanctity, whose pious face he has
seen somewhere else. What sort of man this man of
sanctity turns out to be 227

Chap. VII. — Gil Bias returns to his seat at Lirias. Scipio's
agreeable inteUigence, and a reform in the domestic
arrangements 233

Chap. VIII. — The loves of Gil Bias and the fair Antonia 236

Chap. IX. — Nuptials of Gil Bias with the fair Antonia ; the
style and manner of the ceremony; the persons assisting
thereat ; and the festivities ensuing thereupon 242

Chap. X. — ^The honeymoon (a very dull time for the reader
as a third person) enlivened by the commencement of
Scipio's story 248

Chap. XL — Continuation of Scipio's story 270

Chap. XII. — Conclusion of Scipio's story 280

BOOK THE ELEVENTH

Chap. I. — Containing the subject of the greatest joy that
Gil Bias ever felt, followed up, as our greatest pleasures
too generally are, by the most melancholy event of his
life. Great changes at court, producing, among other
important revolutions, the return of Santillane 298

Chap. II. — Gil Bias arrives in Madrid, and makes his appear-
ance at court; the king is blessed with a better memory

Contents xi

than most of his courtiers, and recommends him to the
notice of his prime minister. Consequences of that
recommendation Page 303

Chap. III. — The project of retirement is prevented, and
Joseph Navarro brought upon the stage again, by an act
of signal service 308

Chap. IV. — Gil Bias ingratiates himself with the Count of
Olivarez 311

Chap. V. — ^The private conversation of Gil Bias with
Navarro, and his first employment in the service of the
Count d'Olivarez 314

Chap. VI. — The application of the three hundred pistoles,
and Scipio's commission connected with them. Success
of the state paper mentioned in the last chapter 319

Chap. VII. — Gil Bias meets with his friend Fabricio once
more; the accident, place, and circumstances described,
with the particulars of their conversation together 323

Chap. VIII. — Gil Bias gets forward progressively in his
master's affections. Scipio's return to Madrid, and
account of his journey 327

Chap. IX.^How my lord duke married his only daughter,
and to whom, with the bitter consequences of that mar-
riage 329

Chap. X. — Gil Bias meets with the poet Nunez by accident,
and learns that he has written a tragedy, which is on the
point of being brought out at the theatre royal. The ill
fortune of the piece, and the good fortune of its
author 332

Chap. XI. — Santillane gives Scipio a situation; the latter
sets out for New Spain 336

Chap. XII. — Don Alphonso de Leyva comes to Madrid;
the motive of his journey a severe affliction to Gil Bias,
and a cause of rej oicing subsequent thereon 338

Chap. XIII. — Gil Bias meets Don Gaston de Cogollos and
Don Andrew de Tordesillas at the drawing-room, and
adjourns with them to a more convenient place. The
story of Don Gaston and Donna Helena de GaHsteo con-
cluded. Santillane renders some service to Tordesillas 341

Chap. XIV. — Santillane's visit to poet Nunez, the com-
pany and conversation 347

xii History of Gil Bias

BOOK THE TWELFTH

Chap. I. — Gil Bias sent to Toledo by the minister. The
purpose of his journey and its success Page 349

Chap. II. — Santillane makes his report to the minister, who
commissions him to send for Lucretia. The first appear-
ance of that actress before the court 355

Chap. III. — Lucretia's popularity, her appearance before
the king, his passion, and its consequences 357

Chap. IV. — Santillane in a new office 361

Chap. V. — ^The son of the Genoese is acknowledged by a
legal instrument, and named Don Henry Philip de Guz-
man. Santillane estabUshes his household, and arranges
the course of his studies 363

Chap. VI. — Scipio's return from New Spain. Gil Bias
places him about Don Henry's person. That young
nobleman's course of study. His career of honour, and
his father's matrimonial speculation on his behalf. A pa-
tent of nobility conferred on Gil Bias against his will 365

Chap. VII. — An accidental meeting between Gil Bias and
Fabricio. Their last conversation together, and a word
to the wise from Nunez 367

Chap. VIII. — Gil Bias finds that Fabricio's hint was not
without foundation. The king's journey to Saragossa 369

Chap. IX. — The revolution of Portugal, and disgrace of tlie
prime minister 371

Chap. X. — A difficult, but successful, weaning from the
world. The minister's employment in his retreat 373

Chap. XI. — A change in his lordship for the worse. The
marvellous cause, and melancholy consequences, of his
dejection 375

Chap. XII. — The proceedings at the castle of Loeches after
his lordship's death, and the course which Santillane
adopted 378

Chap. XIII. — The return of Gil Bias to his seat. His joy;
at finding his god-daughter Seraphina marriageable ; and
his own second venture in the lottery of love 380

Chap. XIV. — A double marriage, and the conclusion of
the history 383

THE HISTORY OF
GIL BLAS OF SANTILLANE

BOOK THE SEVENTH
CHAPTER I

THE TENDER ATTACHMENT BETWEEN GIL BLAS AND DAME
LORENZA SEPHORA

Away went I to Xelva with three thousand ducats under
my charge, as an equivalent to Samuel Simon for the
amount of his loss. I will have the honesty to own, that
my fingers itched as I jogged along, to transfer these funds
to my own account, and begin my stewardship in char-
acter, since everything in this life depends upon setting
out well. There was no risk in preferring instinct to prin-
ciple : because it was only to ride about the country for five
or six days, and come home upon a brisk trot as if I had
done my business and made the best of my way. Don
Alphonso and his father would never have believed me
capable of a breach of trust. Yet, strange to tell, I was
proof against so tempting a suggestion: it would scarcely
be too much to say, that honour, not the fear of being
found out, was the spring of so praiseworthy a decision;
and as times go, that is saying a great deal for a lad, whose
conscience had been pretty well seasoned by keeping com-
pany with a succession of scoundrels. Many people who
have not that excuse, but frequent worshipful society,
will wonder how such squeamishness should have pre-
vailed over my good sense: treasurers of charities in par-
ticular ; persons who have the wills of relations in their cus-
tody, and do not exactly Hke the contents; in short, all
those whose characters stand higher than their principles,
will find food for reflection in my overstrained scrupu-
losity.

11 B

2 History of Gil Bias

After having made restitution to the merchant, who
Utile thought ever to have seen one farthing of his pro-
perty again, I returned to the castle of Leyva. The Count
de Polan had taken his departure, and was far on his
journey to Toledo with Julia and Don Ferdinand. I found
my new master more wrapped up than ever in Seraphina ;
his Seraphina equally wrapped up in my master, and Don
Caesar just as much wrapped up as either in the contem-
plation of the happy couple. My object was to gain the
goodwill of this aftectionate father, and I succeeded to my
wish. The whole house was placed impHcitly under my
superintendence — nothing was done without my special
direction; the tenants paid their rents into my hands; the
disbursements of the family were all under my revision;
and the subordinate situations in the household were at
my disposal without appeal; and yet the power of tyran-
nizing did not give me the inclination, as it has always
hitherto done to my equals and superiors. I neither
turned away the male servants, because I did not like the
cut of their beards, nor the female ones because they hap-
pened not to hke the cut of mine. If they made up to Don
Caesar or his son at once, without currying my favour as
the channel of all good graces, far from taking umbrage at
them on that account, I spoke out officiously in their
behalf. In other respects, too, the marks of confidence
my two masters were incessantly lavishing on me inspired
me with a substantial zeal for their service. Their interest
was my real object: there was no slight of hand in my
ministry ; I was such a caterer for the general good, as you
rarely meet with in private famihes or in pohtical societies.

While I was hugging myself on the well-earned pros-
perity of my condition, love, jealous of my dealings with
fortune, was bent on sharing my gratitude by the addi-
tion of a higher zest. He planted, watered, and ripened
in the heart of Dame Lorenza Sephora, Seraphina's confi-
dential woman, an abundant crop of liking for the happy
steward. My Helen, not to sink the fidehty of the historian
in the vanity of the man, could not be many months short
of her fiftieth year. But for all that, a look of whole-
someness, a face none of the ugliest, and two good-looking
eyes of which she knew the efficient use, might make her
still pass for a decent bit of amusement in a summer even-

Gil Bias' Attachment 3

ing. I could only just have been thankful for a Uttle rtiore
relief to her complexion, since it was precisely the colour of
chalk ; but that I attributed to maiden concealments, which
had eat away all the damask of her cheek.

The lady ogled me for a long time, with ogles that
savoured more of passion than of chastity; but instead of
communing in the language of the eyes, I made pretence at
first not to be sensible of my own happiness. Thus did my
gallantry appear as if arrayed in its first blushes; a cir-
cumstance which was rather tempting than repulsive to
her feelings. Taking it into her head, therefore, that there
was no standing upon dumb eloquence with a young man
who looked more like a novice than he was, at our very first
interview she declared her sentiments in broad, unequivocal
terms, that I might have no plea for misinterpretation.
She played her part like an old stager: affected to be over-
whelmed with confusion while she was speaking to me;
and after having said all she wanted to say in a good
audible voice, put her hand before her face, to hide the
shame which was not there, and make me believe that she
^ was incommoded by the dehcacy of her own feelings. There
was no standing such an attack; and though vanity had a
larger share in my surrender than the tender passion, I
did not receive her overtures ungraciously. Nay, more,
I presumed to overlook decorum in my vivacity, and acted
the impatient lover so naturally as to call down a modest
rebuke upon my freedoms. Lorenza chid my fondness, but
with so much fondness in her chidings, that while she
prescribed to me the coldness of an anchorite, it was very
evident she would have been miserably disappointed if I
had taken her prescription. I should have pressed the
affair at once to the natural termination of all such affairs,
if the lovely object of my ardent wishes had not been
afraid of giving me a left-handed opinion of her virtue, by
abandoning the works before the siege was regularly formed.
This being so, we parted, but with a promise to meet again :
Sephora in the full persuasion that her reluctant re-
sistance would stamp her for a vestal in my esteem, and
myself full of the sweet hope that the torments of Tantalus
would soon be succeeded by an elysium of enjoyment.

My^ affairs were in this happy train, when one of Don
Caesar's under servants brought me such a piece of news, as

4 History of Gil Bias

gave an ague to my raptures. This lad was one of those
inquisitive inmates who apply either an ear or an eye to
every keyhole in a house. As he paid his court constantly
to me, and served up some fresh piece of scandal every
day, he came to tell me one morning that he had made a
pleasant discovery; and that he had no objection to letting
me into the fun, on condition that I would not blab:
because Dame Lorenza Sephora was the theme of the joke,
and he was afraid of becoming obnoxious to her resentment
and revenge. I was too much interested in coming at the
story he had to tell, not to swear myself into discretion
through thick and thin; but it was necessary that my
motive should seem curiosity and not personal concern,
so that I asked him, with an air of as much indifference as
I could put on, what was this mighty discovery about
which he made such a piece of work. Lorenza, whispered
he, smuggles the surgeon of the village every evening into
her apartment : he is a tight vessel, well armed and manned ;
and the pirate generally stays pretty long upon his cruise.
I do not mean to say, added he, with supercilious can-
dour, but that all this may be perfectly innocent on both
sides, but you cannot help admitting, that where a young
man does insinuate himself slily into a girl's bedchamber,
he takes better care of his own pleasure than of her repu-
tation.

Though this tale gave me as much uneasiness as if I had
been verily and romantically in love, I had too much sense
to let him know it; but so far stifled my feelings as to
laugh heartily at a story which struck at the very life of
all my hopes. But when no witnesses were by, I made
myself full amends for having gulped down my rising indig-
nation. I blustered and stormed; muttered blessings on
them the wrong way, and swore outright : but all this with-
out coming nearer to a decision on my own conduct. At
one time, holding Lorenza in utter contempt, it was my
good pleasure to give her up altogether, without conde-
scending so far as to come to any explanation with the
coquette. At another time, laying it down as a principle,
that my honour was concerned in making the surgeon an
example to all intriguers, I spirited up my courage to call
him out. Thus dangerous valour prevailed over safe indif-
ference. At the approach of evening I placed myself in am-

E

Gil Bias' Attachment 5

uscade; and sure enough the gentleman did slink into the
temple of my Vesta, with a fear of being found out that
spoke rather unfavourably for the purity of his designs.
Nothing short of this could have kept my rage aUve against
the chiUiness of the night air. I immediately quitted the
precincts of the castle, and posted myself on the high road,
where the gay deceiver was sure to be intercepted on his
return. I waited for him with my fighting spirits on the
full boil: my impatience increased with the lapse of time,
till Mars and Bellona seemed to inhabit my frame, and
enlarge it beyond human, dimensions. At length my
antagonist came in sight. I took a few strides, such as
bully Mars or Bellona might have taken; but I do not
know how the devil it came to pass, my courage went fur-
ther off as my body came nearer; my frame was contracted
within somewhat less than its himian dimensions, and my
heart felt exactly like the heart of a coward. The hearts
of Homer's heroes felt exactly the same, when the das-
tardly dogs were not backed by a supernatural drawcansir !
In short, I was just as much out of my element as ever
Paris was, when he pitted himself against Menelaus in single
combat. I began taking measure of this operator in love,
war, and anatomy. He appeared to be large limbed and
well knit, with a sword by his side of a most abominable
length. All this made me consider, that the better part of
valour is discretion: nevertheless, whether from the supe-
riority of mind over the nervous system in a case of honour,
or from whatever other cause, though the danger grew
bigger as the distance diminished, and in spite of nature,
which pleaded obstinately that honour is a mere scutcheon,
and can neither set a leg nor take away the grief of a
wound, I mustered up boldness enough to march forward
towards the surgeon sword in hand.

My proceeding seemed to him to be of the drollest.
What is the matter, Signor Gil Bias ? exclaimed he. Why
all this fire and fury ? You are in a bantering mood, to all
appearance. No, good master shaver, answered I, no
such thing; there never was anything more serious since
Cain killed Abel. I am determined to try the experiment,
whether as Uttle preparation serves your turn in the field of
battle as in a lady's chamber. Hope not that you will be
suffered to possess without a rival that heaven of bliss in

6 History of Gil Bias

which you have been indulging but this moment at the
castle. By all the martyrdoms we phlebotomizers have
ever suffered or inflicted ! replied the surgeon, setting up a
shout of laughter, this is a most whimsical adventure. As
heaven is my judge ! appearances are very little to be trusted.
At this put off, fancying that he had no keener stomach
for cold iron than myself, I got to be ten times more over-
bearing. Teach your parrot to speak better Spanish, my
friend, interrupted I ; do you think we do not know a hawk
from a hernshaw? Imagine not that the simple denial
of the fact will settle the business. I see plainly, replied
he, that I shall be obliged to speak out, or some mischief
must happen either to you or me. I shall therefore dis-
close a secret to you; though men in our profession cannot
be too much on the reserve. If Dame Lorenzo sends for me
into her apartment under suspicious circumstances, it is
only to conceal from the servants the knowledge of her
malady. She has an incurable ulcer in her back, which
I come every evening to dress. This is the real occasion of
those visits which disturb your peace. Henceforward,
rest assured that you have her all to yourself. But if you
are not satisfied with this explanation, and are absolutely
bent on a fencing match, you have only to say so ; I am not
a man to turn my back upon a game at sword play. With
these words in his mouth he drew his long rapier, which
made my heart jump into my throat, and stood upon his
guard. It is enough, said I, putting my sword up again in
its scabbard, I am not a wild beast, to turn a deaf ear to
reason: after what you have told me, there is no cause
of enmity between us. Let us shake hands. At this pro-
posal, by which he found out that I was not such a devil of
a fellow as he had taken me for, he returned his weapon with
a laugh, met my advances to be reconciled, and we parted
the best friends in the world.

From that time forward Sephora never came into my
thoughts but with the most disgusting associations. I
shunned all the opportunities she gave me of entertaining
her in private, and this with so obvious a study, almost
bordering on rudeness, that she could not but notice it.
Astonished at so sudden a reverse, she was dying to know
the cause, and at length, finding the means of pinning me
down to a t6te-^-t^te. Good Mr Steward, said she, tell me,

Gil Bias' Attachment 7

If so please you, why you avoid the very sight of me ? It
is true that I made the first advances ; but then you fed the
[consuming fire. Recall to memory, if it is not too great a
{favour, the private interview we had together. Then you
fwere a magazine of combustibles, now you are as frozen as
the north sea. What is the meaning of all this? The
question was not a little difficult of solution, for a man un-
accustomed to the violence of amorous interrogatories.
The consequence was, that it puzzled me most confoundedly.
I do not precisely recollect the identical lie I told the
lady, but I recollect perfectly that nothing but the truth
could have affronted her more highly. Sephora, though
by her mincing air and modest outside one might have taken
her for a lamb, was a tigress when the savage was roused in
her nature. I did think, said she, darting a glance at me
full of malice and hideousness, I did think to have conferred
such honour as was never conferred before, on a little scoun-
drel hke you, by betraying sentiments which the first
nobiUty in the country would make it their boast to excite.
Fitly indeed am I punished for having preposterously
lowered myself to the level of a dirty, snivelling adven-
turer.

That was pretty well; but she did not stop there: I
should have come off too cheaply on such terms. Her
fury taking a long lease of her tongue, that brawling instru-
ment of discord rung a bob-major of invective, each strain
more clamorous and confounding than the former. It
certainly was my duty to have received it all with cool
indifference, and to have considered candidly that in
triumphing over female reserve, and then not taking pos-
session of the conquest, I had committed that sin against
the sex, which would have transformed the most feminine
of them into a Sephora. But I was too irritable to bear
abuse, at which a man of sense in my place would only
have laughed; and my patience was at length exhausted.
Madam, said I, let us not rake into each other's personal
misfortunes. If the first nobihty in the country had only
looked at your back, they would have forgotten aU your
other charms, and have boasted but Httle of the sentiments
they had excited you to betray. I had no sooner laid in
this home stroke, than the enragecTduerma visited me with
the hardest box on the ear that ever yet proceeded from the

8 History of Gil Bias

delicate fingers of a woman scorned. Such favours might
pall on repetition; so I did not wait for a second, but took
shelter in the nimbleness of my legs from the clatter of
castigation she was going to shower down on me.

I returned thanks to the protecting powers for having
brought me clear off from this unequal encounter, and
fancied that I had nothing further to apprehend, since the
lady had taken corporal vengeance. It was Hkely, too,
that she would be wise and hold her tongue, for the honour
ef her own back: and, in point of fact, a full fortnight had
elapsed without my hearing a word upon the subject.
The very tingling in my own cheek began to abate, when I
was told that Sephora was taken ill. With that forgiveness
of injuries so natural to me, I was sincerely afflicted at the
news. I really felt for the poor lady. I concluded that,
unable to contend with a passion so ill repaid, that hapless
victim of her own tenderness was giving up the ghost. It
was with exquisite pain that I turned this subject in my
thoughts. I was the cruel cause that her heart was break-
ing; and my pity at least was the duenna's, though love is
too wayward to be controlled by advice. But I was miser-
ably mistaken in her nature. Her tenderness had all
curdled into acrimonious hatred ; and at that very moment
was she plotting to be my bane.

One morning while I was with Don Alphonso, that
amiable young master of mine was absent, moody, and
out of spirits. I inquired respectfully what was the
matter. I am vexed to the soul, said he, to find Seraphina
weak, unjust, ungrateful. You are not a little surprised
at this, added he, remarking the expression of astonish-
ment with which I heard him; yet nothing is more strictly
and lamentably true, I know not what reason you have
given Dame Lorenza to be at variance with you; but true
it is, you are become so unbearably hateful to her, that if
you do not get out of this castle as soon as possible, her
death, she says, must be the sure consequence. You can-
not but suppose that Seraphina, who knows your value,
used all her influence at first against a prejudice to
which she could not administer without injustice and
ingratitude. But though the best of women, she is still a
woman. Sephora brought her up, and she loves her like
a mother. Should her old nurse die shortly, she would

I^ancy

Gil Bias' Attachment 9

cy she had her death to answer for, had she refused her-
self to any of her whims. For my own part, with all my
affection towards Seraphina, and it is none of the weakest,
I will never be guilty of so mean a compliance as to side
with her on this question. Perish our duennas, perish the
whole system of our Spanish vigilance! but never let me
consent to the banishment of a young man whom I look
upon rather as a brother than a servant !

When Don Alphonso had thus expressed his sentiments,
I said to him: My good sir, I am bom to be the mere
whipping-top of fortune. It had been my hope that she
would leave off persecuting me when under your roof, where
everything held out to me happy days and an unruffled
Ufe. Now, the part for honour to take is to tear myself
away, whatever hankering I may feel after my continu-
ance. No, no, exclaimed the generous son of Don Caesar.
Leave me to bring Seraphina to a proper view of things.
It shall never be said that you are sacrificed to the caprices
of a duenna, who, on every occasion, has but too much
influence over the family. All you wiU get by it, sir, re-
plied 1, will only be to put Seraphina in an ill humour by
opposing her wishes. I had much rather withdraw than
run the risk, by a longer abode here, of sowing division
between a married pair, who are a model of conjugal
fehcity. Such a consequence of my unhappy quarrel
would make me miserable for the remainder of my days.

Don Alphonso absolutely forbade me to take any hasty
step; and I found him so determined in the intention of
standing by me, that Lorenza must infaUibly have been
thrown into the background, if I had chosen to have stood
an election against her. There were moments when, exas-
perated against the duenna, I was tempted to keep no mea-
sures with her ; but when I came to consider that to unravel
this surgical mystery would be to plunge a dagger into
the heart of a poor creature, whose curse had been my
fastidious prejudice against an ulcerated back, and whom
a physical and mental misfortune were conjointly handing
down to the grave ; I lost all feeling but that of compassion
towards her. It was evident, since I was so portentous a
phenomenon, that it was my imperious duty to re-estab-
lish the tranquillity of the castle by my absence; and that
duty I performed the next morning before daybreak, with-

lo History of Gil Bias

out taking any leave of my two masters, for fear they
should oppose my departure from a misplaced partiality
towards me. My only notice was to leave behind in my
chamber a memorial, containing an exact account of my
receipts and disbursements during the time of my steward-
ship.

CHAPTER II

WHAT HAPPENED TO GIL BLAS AFTER HIS RETREAT FROM THE
CASTLE OF LEYVA; SHEWING THAT THOSE WHO ARE
CROSSED IN LOVE ARE NOT ALWAYS THE MOST MISERABLE
OF MANKIND

I WAS mounted on a good horse, my own property, and
was the bearer of two hundred pistoles, the greater part of
which arose from the plunder of the vanquished banditti,
and the forfeiture of Samuel Simon by the Inquisition; for
Don Alphonso, without requiring me to account for any
part of the said forfeiture, had made restitution of the
entire sum out of his own funds. Thus, considering my
effects, however obtained, as converted into lawful pro-
perty by a sort of vicarious sponsorship, I took them into
my good graces without any remorse of conscience. An
estate Hke this rendered it absurd to throw away any
thought about the future; and a certain likelihood of doing
well, which always hangs about a young man at my age,
held out an additional security against the caprices of for-
tune. Besides, Toledo offered me a retreat exactly to my
mind. There could not be a doubt but the Count de Polan
would take a pleasure in giving a kind reception to one of
his deliverers, and would insist on his accepting an apart-
ment in his own house. But I only looked upon this noble-
man as a very distant resource; and determined, before
laying any tax on his grateful recollection, to spend part of
my ready cash in travelling over the provinces of Murcia
and Grenada, which I had a very particular inclination to
see. With this intention I took the Almanza road, and
afterwards, following the route chalked out, travelled from
town to town as far as the city of Grenada, without stum-
bling on any sinister occurrence. It should seem as if
fortune, wearied out with the school-girl's tricks she had

Gil Bias serves an Archbishop 1 1

been playing me, was contented at last to leave me as she
found me. But she still had her skittish designs upon me,
as will be seen in the sequel.

One of the first persons I met in the streets of Grenada
was Signor Don Ferdinand de Leyva, son-in-law, as well as
Don Alphonso, of the Count de Polan. We were both of
us equally surprised at meeting so far from home. How
is this, Gil Bias? exclaimed he; to find you in this city!
What the devil brings you hither ? vSir, said I, if you are
astonished at seeing me in this country, you will be ten
times more so when you shall know why I have quitted the
service of Signor Don Caesar and his son. Then I recounted
to him all that had passed between Sephora and myself,
without garbling the facts in any particular. He laughed
heartily at the recital; then, recovering his gravity. My
friend, said he, my mediation is at your service in this
affair. I will write to my sister-in-law .... No, no, sir,
interrupted I, do not write upon the subject, I beseech you.
I did not quit the castle of Leyva to go back again. You
may, if you please, make another use of the kindness you
have expressed for me. If any of your friends should be
looking out for a secretary or a steward, I should be much
obHged to you to speak a good word in my favour. I will
take upon me to assure you that you will never be re-
proached with recommending an improper object. You
have only to command me, answered he: I will do what-
ever you desire. My business at Grenada is to visit an old
aunt in an ill state of health. I shall be here three weeks
longer, after which I shall set out on my return to my
castle of Lorqui, where I have left Julia. That is my
lodging, added he, shewing me a house about a hundred
yards from us. Call upon me in a few days; probably I
may by that time have hit upon some eligible appoint-
ment.

And, in fact, so it was; for the very first time that we
came together again, he said to me: My Lord Archbishop
of Grenada, my relation and friend, is in want of a young
man with some Httle tinge of Hterature, who can write a
good hand and make fair copies of his manuscripts; for he
is a great author. He has composed I know not how
many homilies, and still goes on composing more every
day, which he delivers to the high edification of his audi-

1 2 History of Gil Bias

ence. As you seem to be just the thing for him, I have
mentioned your name, and he has promised to take you.
Go, and make your bow to him as from me; you will judge,
by his reception of you, whether my recommendation has
been couched in handsome terms.

The situation was, to all appearance, exactly what I
should have picked out for myself. That being the case,
with such an arrangement of my air and person as seemed
most hkely to square with the ideas of a reverend prelate,
I presented myself one morning before the archbishop. If
this were a gorgeous romance, and not a grave history, here
might we introduce a pompous description of the episcopal
palace, with architectural digressions on the structure
of the building: here would be the place to expatiate on
the costliness of the furniture like an upholsterer, to
criticise the statues and pictures like a connoisseur; and
the pictures themselves would be nothing to the uninformed
reader, without the stories they represent, till universal
history, fabulous and authentic, sacred and profane,
should be pressed into the service. But I shall content
myself with modestly stating, that the royal palace itself
is scarcely superior in magnificence.

Throughout the suite of apartments, there was a com-
plete mob of ecclesiastics and other officers, consisting of
chaplains, ushers, upper and menial servants. Those of
them who were laymen were most superbly attired; one
would sooner have taken them for temporal nobility than
for spiritual understrappers. They were as proud as the
devil; and gave themselves intolerably consequential airs.
I could not help laughing in my sleeve, when I considered
who and what they were, and how they behaved. Set a
beggar on horseback ! said I. These gentry are in luck to
carry a pack without feeling the drag of it; for surely if
they knew they were beasts of burden, they would not
jingle their bells with so high a toss of the head. I ven-
tured just to speak to a grave and portly personage who
stood sentinel at the door of the archbishop's closet, to turn
it upon its hinges as occasion might require. I asked him
civilly if there was no possibility of speaking with my lord
archbishop. Stop a little, said he, with a supercilious
demeanour and repulsive tone: his grace will shortly come
forth, to go and hear mass: you may snatch an audience

t

Gil Bias serves an Archbishop 1 3

foi a moment as he passes on. I answered not a single
syliable. Patience was all I had for it; and it even seemed
advisable to try and enter into conversation with some of
the jacks in office: but they began conning me over from
the sole of my foot to the crown of my head, without con-
descending to favour me with a single interjection; after
which they winked at one another, whispered, and looked
out at the corners of their eyes, in derision of the liberty I
had assumed, by intruding upon their select society.

I felt more fool that I did so, quite out of countenance at
such cavalier treatment from a knot of state footmen. My
confusion was but beginning to subside, when the closet
door opened. The archbishop made his appearance. A
profound silence immediately ensued among his officers,
who quitted at once their insolent behaviour, to adopt a
more respectful style before their master. That prelate
was in his sixty-ninth year, formed nearly on the model of
my uncle, Gil Perez the canon, which is as much as to say,
as broad as he was long. But the highest dignitaries
should always be the most amply gifted; accordingly his
legs bowed inwards to the very extremity of the graceful
curve, and his bald head retained but a single lock behind:
so that he was obliged to ensconce his pericranium in a
fine woollen cap with long ears. In spite of all this, I
espied the man of quality in his deportment, doubtless,
because I knew that he actually happened to be one. We
common fellows, the fungous growth of the human dung-
hill, look up to great lords with a facility of being over-
awed, which often furnishes them with a Benjamin's mess
of importance, when nature has denied even the most scanty
and trivial gifts.

The archbishop moved towards me in a minuet step,
and kindly inquired what I wanted. I told him I was the
young man about whom Signor Don Ferdinand de Leyva
had spoken to him. He did not give me a moment to go
on with my story. Ah! is it you, exclaimed he, is it you
of whom so fine a character has been given me ? I take
you into my service at once; you are a mine of literary
utility to me. You have only to take up your abode here.
Talking thus condescendingly, he supported himself
between two ushers, and moved onwards after having
given audience to some of his clergy, who had ecclesias-

14 History of Gil Bias

tical business to communicate. He was scarcely out of che
room, when the same officers who had turned upon their
heel, were now cap in hand to court my conversation. Here
the rascals are, pressing round me, currying favour, and
expressing their sincere joy at seeing me become as it were
an heirloom of the archbishopric. They had heard what
their master had said, and were dying with anxiety to
know on what footing I was to be about him; but I had
the ill nature not to satisfy their curiosity, in re verge for
their contempt.

My lord archbishop was not long before he returned.
He took me with him into his closet for a little private con-
ference. I could not but suppose that he meant to fathom
the depth of my understanding. I was accordingly on my
guard, and prepared to measure out my words most
methodically. He questioned me first in the classics. My
answers were not amiss; he was convinced that I had
more than a schoolboy's acquaintance with the Greek and
Latin writers. He examined me next in logic; nor could
I but suppose that he would examine me in logic. He
found me strong enough there. Your education, said he,
with some degree of surprise, has not been neglected. Now
let us see your hand-writing. I took a blank piece of paper
out of my pocket, which I had brought for the purpose.
My ghostly father was not displeased with my performance.
I am very well satisfied with the mechanical part of your
qualifications, exclaimed he, and still more so with the
powers of your mind. I shall thank my nephew, Don
Ferdinand, most heartily, for having sent me so fine a lad ;
it is absolutely a gift from above.

We were interrupted by some of the neighbouring
gentry, who were come to dine with the archbishop. I left
them together, and withdrew to the second table, where
the whole household, with one consent, insisted on giving
me the upper hand. Dinner is a busy time at an episcopal
ordinary; and yet we snatched a moment to make our
observations on each other. What a mortified propriety
was painted on the outside of the clergy? They had all
the look of a deputation from a better world : strange to
think how place and circumstance impose on the deluded
sense of men ! It never once came into my thoughts that
all this sanctity might possibly be a false coin; just as if

Gil Bias serves an Archbishop 1 5

theie could be nothing but what appertained to the king-
don: above, among the successors of the apostles on earth.

I was seated by the side of an old valet-de-chambre,
by name Melchior de la Ronda. He took care to help me
to all the nice bits. His attentions were not lost upon me,
and ny good manners quite enraptured him. My worthy
sir, aid he, in a low voice after dinner, I should like to
have a little private talk with you. At the same time he
led the way to a part of the palace where we could not be
overheard, and there addressed me as follows: My son,
from the very first instant that I saw you, I felt a certain
prepossession in your favour. Of this I will give you a
certain proof, by communicating in confidence what will be
of great service to you. You are here in a family where
true believers and painted hypocrites are playing at cross
purposes against each other. It would take an ante-
diluvian age to feel the ground under your feet. I w411
spare so long and so disgusting a study, by letting you into
the characters on both sides. After this, if you do not
play your cards, it is your own fault.

I shall begin with his grace. He is a very pious prelate,
employed without ceasing in the instruction of the people,
whom he brings back to virtue, like sheep gone astray,
by sermons full of excellent morality, and written by him-
self. He has retired from court these twenty years, to
watch over his flock with the zeal of an affectionate pastor.
He is a very learned person, and a very impressive de-
claimer: his whole delight is in preaching, and his congre-
gation take care he should know that their whole delight
is in hearing him. There may possibly be some little
leaven of vanity in all this heavenly-mindedness ; but,
besides that it is not for human fallibility to search the
heart, it would ill become me to rake into the faults of a
person whose bread I eat. Were it decent to lay my finger
on anything unbecoming in my master, I should dis-
commend his starchness. Instead of exercising forbearance
towards frail churchmen, he visits every peccadillo, as if it
were a heinous offence. Above all, he prosecutes those
with the utmost rigour of the spiritual court, who, wrap-
ping themselves up in their innocence, appeal to the canons
for their justification, in bar of his despotic authority.
There is besides another awkward trait in his character.

1 6 History of Gil Bias

common to him with many other people of high nnk.
Though he is very fond of the people about him, he pays
not the least attention to their services, but lets them sink
into years without a moment's thought about securing :hem
any provision. If at any time he makes them any little
presents, they may thank the goodness of some one who
shall have spoken up in their behalf : he would never have
his wits enough about him to do the slightest thing for them
as a volunteer.

This is just what the old valet-de-chambre told me of
his master. Next, he let me into what he thought of the
clergymen with whom we had dined. His portraits might
be likenesses; but they were too hard-featured to be owned
by the originals. It must be admitted, however, that he
did not represent them as honest men, but only as very
scandalous priests. Nevertheless, he made some excep-
tions, and was as loud in their praises as in his censure of
the others. I was no longer at any loss how to play my
part so as to put myself on an equal footing with these
gentry. That very evening, at supper, I took a leaf out of
their book, and arrayed myself in the convenient vesture
of a wise and prudent outside. A clothing of humility and
sanctification costs nothing. Indeed it offers such a pre-
mium to the wearer, that we are not to wonder if this
world abounds in a description of people caUed hypo-
crites.

CHAPTER III

GIL BLAS BECOMES THE ARCHBISHOP'S FAVOURITE, AND THE
CHANNEL OF ALL HIS FAVOURS

I HAD been after dinner to get together my baggage, and
take my horse from the inn where I had put up, and after-
wards returned to supper at the archbishop's palace, where
a neatly furnished room was got ready for me, and such a
bed as was more likely to pamper than to mortify the flesh.
The day following, his grace sent for me quite as soon as I
was ready to go to him. It was to give me a homily to
transcribe. He made a point of having it copied with all
possible accuracy. It was done to please him ; for I omitted
neither accent, nor comma, nor the minutest tittle of all he

Gil Bias the Archbishop's Favourite 17

had marked down. His satisfaction at observing this was
heightened by its being unexpected. Eternal Father!
exclaimed he in a holy rapture, when he had glanced his
eye over all the folios of my copy, was ever anything seen
so correct ? You are too good a transcriber not to have
some httle smattering of the grammarian. Now tell me
with the freedom of a friend: in writing it over, have you
been struck with nothing that grated upon your feelings ?
Some Httle careless idiom, or some word used in an im-
proper sense ? Oh ! may it please your grace, answered
I with a modest air, it is not for me, with my confined
education and coarse taste, to aim at making critical
remarks. And though ever so well qualified, I am satisfied
that your grace's works would come out pure from the
essay. The successor of the apostles smiled at my answer.
He made no observation on it; but it was easy to see,
through all his piety, that he was an arrant author at the
bottom: there is something in that dye, that not heaven
itself can wash out .

I seemed to have purchased the fee-simple of his good
graces by my flattery. Day after day did I get a step fur-
ther in his esteem; and Don Ferdinand, who came to see
him very often, told me my footing was so firm, that there
could not be a doubt but my fortune was made. Of this
my master himself gave me a proof some little time after-
wards: and the occasion was as follows: One evening in his
closet he rehearsed before me, with appropriate emphasis
and action, a homily which he was to deliver the next day
in the cathedral. He did not content himself with asking
me what I thought of it in the gross, but insisted on my
telling him what passages struck me most. I had the good
fortune to pick out those which were nearest to his own
taste, his favourite common-places. Thus, as luck would
have it, I passed in his estimation for a man who had
a quick and natural reHsh of the real and less obvious
beauties in a work. This, indeed, exclaimed he, is what
you may call having discernment and feeling in perfection !
Well, well, my friend, it cannot be said of you,

Baeotum in crasso jurares aere natum.

In a word, he was so highly pleased with me, as to add in
a tone of extraordinary emotion — Never mind, Gil Bias!

1 8 History of Gil Bias

henceforward take no care about hereafter; I shall make
it my business to place you among the favoured children of
my bounty. You have my best wishes ; and to prove to you
that you have them, I shall take you into my inmost con-
fidence.

These words were no sooner out of his mouth, than I
fell at his grace's feet, quite overwhelmed with gratitude.
I embraced his elliptical legs with almost pagan idolatry,
and considered myself as a man on the high road to a very
handsome fortune. Yes, my child, • resumed the arch-
bishop, whose speech had been cut short by the rapidity
of my prostration, I mean to make you the receiver-
general of all my inmost ruminations. Hearken atten-
tively to what I am going to say. I have a great pleasure
in preaching. The Lord sheds a blessing on my homilies;
they sink deep into the hearts of sinners; set up a glass in
which vice sees its own image, and bring back many from
the paths of error into the high road of repentance. What
a heavenly sight, when a miser, scared at the hideous pic-
ture drawn by my eloquence of his avarice, opens his
coffers to the poor and needy, and dispenses the accumu-
lated store with a liberal hand! The voluptuary, too, is
snatched from the pleasures of the table; ambition flies at
my command to the wholesome discipline of the monastic
cell; while female frailty, tottering on the brink of ruin,
with one ear open to the siren voice of the seducer, and the
other to my saintly correctives, is restored to domestic happi-
ness and the approving smile of heaven, by the timely warn-
ings of the pulpit. These miraculous conversions, which
happen almost every Sunday, ought of themselves to goad
me on in the career of saving souls. Nevertheless, to con-
ceal no part of my weakness from my monitor, there is
another reward on which my heart is intent, a reward which
the seraphic scrupulousness of my virtue to little purpose
condemns as too carnal; a literary reputation for a sub-
lime and elegant style. The honour of being handed down
to posterity as a perfect pulpit orator has its irresistible
attractions. My compositions are generally thought to be
equally powerful and persuasive; but I could wish of all
things to steer clear of the rock on which good authors
split, who are too long before the public, and to retire from
professonal life with my reputation in undiminished lustre.

Gil Bias the Archbishop's Favourite 1 9

To this end, my dear Gil Bias, continued the prelate,
there is one thing requisite from your zeal and friendship.
Whenever it shall strike you that my pen begins to con-
tract, as it were, the ossification of old age, whenever you
see my genius in its climacteric, do not fail to give me a
hint. There is no trusting to one's self in such a case;
pride and conceit were the original sin of man. The probe
of criticism must be intrusted to an impartial stander-by, of
fine talents and unshaken probity. Both those requisites
centre in you: you are my choice, and I give myself up to
your direction. Heaven be praised, my lord, said I, there
is no need to trouble yourself with any such thoughts yet.
Besides, an understanding of your grace's mould and
calibre will last out double the time of a common genius;
or to speak with more certainty and truth, it will never
be the worse for wear, if you Uve to the age of Methusalem.
I consider you as a second Cardinal Ximenes, whose powers,
superior to decay, instead of flagging with years, seemed
to derive new vigour from their approximation with the
heavenly regions. No flattery, my friend! interrupted
he. I know myself to be in danger of faihng all at once.
At my age one begins to be sensible of infirmities, and those
of the body communicate with the mind. I repeat it to
you, Gil Bias, as soon as you shall be of opinion that my
head is not so clear as usual, give me warning of it instantly.
Do not be afraid of offending by frankness and sincerity,
to put me in mind of my own frailty will be the strongest
proof of your affection for me. Besides, your very interest
is concerned in it, for if it should, by any spite of chance
towards you, come to my ears that the people say in town,
" His grace's sermons produce no longer their accustomed
impression, it is time for him to abandon his pulpit to
younger candidates," I do assure you most seriously and
solemnly, you will not only lose my friendship, but the pro-
vision for life that I have promised you. Such will be the
result of your silly tampering with truth.

Here my patron left off to wait for my answer, which
was an echo of his speech, and a promise of obeying him in
all things. From that moment there were no secrets
from me; I became the prime favourite. All the house-
hold, except Melchior de la Ronda, looked at me with an
eye of envy. It was curious to observe the manner in

20 History of Gil Bias

which the whole estabhshment, from the highest to the
lowest, thought it necessary to demean themselves to-
wards his grace's confidential secretary; there was no
meanness to which they would not stoop to curry favour
with me; I could scarely beHeve they were Spaniards. I
left no stone unturned to be of service to them, v/ithout
being taken in by their interested assiduities. My lord
archbishop, at my entreaty, took them by the hand. He
got a company for one, and fitted him out so as to make a
handsome figure in the army. Another he sent to Mexico,
with a considerable appointment which he procured him;
and I obtained a good slice of his bounty for my friend Mel-
chior. It was evident from these facts, that if the prelate
was not particularly active in good works, at least he
rarely gave a churlish refusal, when any one had the
courage to importune him for his benevolence.

But what I did for a priest seems to deserve being noticed
more at large. One day a certain licentiate, by name
Lewis Garcias, a well-looking man still in the prime of life,
was presented to me by our steward, who said — Signor Gil
Bias, in this honest ecclesiastic you behold one of my
best friends. He was formerly chaplain to a nunnery.
Scandal has taken a few hberties with his chastity. Mali-
cious stories have been trumped up to hurt him in my
lord archbishop's opinion, who has suspended him, and
unfortunately is so strongly prejudiced by his enemies, as
to be deaf to any petition in his favour. In vain have we
interested the first people in Grenada to get him re-estab-
lished ; our master will not hear of it.

These first people in Grenada, said I, have gone the
wrong way to work. It would have been much better if no
interest at all had been made for the reverend licentiate.
People have only done him a mischief by endeavouring to
serve him. I know my lord archbishop thoroughly:
entreaties and importunate recommendations do but
aggravate the ill condition of a clergyman who hes under
his displeasure : it is but a very short time ago since I heard
him mutter the following sentiment to himself. The
more persons a priest, who has been guilty of any miscon-
duct, engages to speak to me in his behalf, the more widely
is the scandal of the church disseminated, and the more
severe is my treatment of the offender. That is very

Gil Bias the Archbishop's Favourite 2 1

unlucky, replied the steward; and my friend would be put
to his last shifts if he did not write a good hand. But,
happily, he has the pen of a ready scribe, and keeps his
head above water by the exercise of that talent. I was
curious to see whether this boasted handwriting was so
much better than my own. The hcentiate, who had a
specimen in his pocket, shewed me a sheet which I admired
very much: it had all the regularity of a writing-master's
copy. In looking over this model of penmanship, an idea
occurred to me. I begged Garcia to leave this paper in
my hands, saying, that I might be able to do something
with it which should turn out to his advantage; that I
could not explain myself at that moment, but would tell
him more the next day. The licentiate, to whom the
steward had evidently talked big about my capacity to serve
him, withdrew in as good spirits as if he had already been
restored to his functions.

I was in earnest in my endeavour that he should be so,
and lost no time in setting to work. Happening to be alone
with the archbishop, I produced the specimen. My patron
was delighted with it. Seizing on this favourable oppor-
tunity, May it please your grace, said I, since you are deter-
mined not to put your homilies to the press, I should very
much like them at least to be transcribed in this masterly
manner.

I am very well satisfied with your performance, answered
the prelate, but yet I own that it would be a pleasant thing
enough to have a copy of my works in that hand. Your
grace, replied I, has only to signify your wishes. The man
who copies so well is a licentiate of my acquaintance. It
will give him so much the more pleasure to gratify you, as
it may be the means of interesting your goodness to extri-
cate him from the melancholy situation to which he has
the misfortune at present to be reduced.

The prelate could not do otherwise than inquire the name
of this licentiate. I told him it was Lewis Garcias. He
is in despair at having drawn down your censure upon him.
That Garcias, interrupted he, if I am not mistaken, was
chaplain in a convent of nuns, and has been brought into
the ecclesiastical court as a delinquent. I recollect some
very heavy charges which have been sent me against him.
His morals are not the most exemplary. May it please

22 History of Gil Bias

your grace, interrupted I in my turn, it is not for me to
justify him in all points,; but I know that he has enemies.
He maintains that the authors of the informations you have
received are more bent on doing him an ill office than on
vindicating the purity of religion. That very possibly
may be the case, replied the archbishop; there are a great
many firebrands in the world. Besides, though we should
take it for granted that his conduct has not always been
above suspicion, he may have repented of his sins; in short,
the mercies of heaven are infinite, however heinous our
transgressions. Bring that hcentiate before me, I take off
his suspension.

Thus it is that men of the most austere character descend
from their altitudes, when interest or a favourite whim
reduces them to the level of the frail. The archbishop
granted, without a struggle, to the empty vanity of having
his works well copied, what he had refused to the most
respectable applications. I carried the news with all
possible expedition to the steward, who communicated it to
his friend Garcias. That licentiate, on the following day,
came to return me thanks commensurate with the favour
obtained. I presented him to my master, who contented
himself with giving him a slight reprimand, and put the
homilies into his hand, to copy them out fair. Garcias
performed the task so satisfactorily, that he was reinstated in
the cure of souls, and was afterwards preferred to the living
of Gabia, a large market town in the neighboxirhood of
Grenada.

CHAPTER IV

THE ARCHBISHOP IS AFFLICTED WITH A STROKE OF APO-
PLEXY. HOW GIL BLAS GETS INTO A DILEMMA, AND
HOW HE GETS OUT

While I was thus rendering myself a blessing first to
one and then to the other, Don Ferdinand de Leyva was
making his arrangements for leaving Grenada. I called on
that nobleman before his departure, to thank him once
more for the advantageous post he had procured me. My
expressions of satisfaction were so lively, that he said — My
dear Gil Bias, I am delighted to find you in such good hu-

The Archbishop has a Stroke of Apoplexy 23

mour with my uncle the archbishop. I am absolutely in
love with him, answered I. His goodness to me has been
such as I can never sufficiently acknowledge. Less than my
present happiness could never have made me amends for
being at so great a distance from Don Caesar and his son.
I am persuaded, replied he, that they are both of them
equally chagrined at having lost you. But possibly you
are not separated for ever; fortune may some day bring
you together again. I could not hear such an idea started
without being moved by it. My sighs would find vent ; and
I felt at that moment so strong an affection for Don Alphon-
so, that I could willingly have turned my back on the arch-
bishop and all the fine prospects that were opening to me,
and have gone back to the castle of Leyva, had but a morti-
fication taken place in the back of the scarecrow which had
frightened me away. Don Ferdinand was not insensible to
the emotions that agitated me, and felt himself so much
obliged by them, that he took his leave with the assurance
of the whole family always taking an anxious interest in my
fate.

Two months after this worthy gentleman had left us, in
the luxuriant harvest of my highest favour, a lowering
storm came suddenly over the episcopal palace; the arch-
bishop had a stroke of apoplexy. By dint of immediate
applications and good nursing, in a few days there was no
bodily appearance of disease remaining. But his reverend
intellects did not so easily recover from their lethargy. I
could not help observing it to myself in the very first dis-
course that he composed. Yet there was not such a wide
gap between the merits of the present and the former ones,
as to warrant the inference that the sun of oratory was
many degrees advanced in its post-meridian course. A
second homily was worth waiting for; because that would
clearly determine the line of my conduct. Alas, and well-
a-day! when that second homily came, it was a knock-
down argument. Sometimes the good prelate moved for-
ward, and sometimes he moved backwards; sometimes he
mounted up into the garret ; and sometimes dipped down
into the cellar. It was a composition of more sound
than meaning, something like a superannuated school-
master's theme, when he attempts to give his boys more
sense than he possesses of his own, or like a capuchin's ser-

24 History of Gil Bias

mon, which only scatters a few artificial flowers of paltry
rhetoric over a barren desert of doctrine.

I was not the only person whom the cdteration struck.
The audience at large, when he delivered it, as if they too
had been pledged to watch the advances of dotage, said to
one another in a whisper all round the church — Here is a
sermon, with symptoms of apoplexy in every paragraph.
Come, my good Coryphaeus of the public taste in homilies,
said I then to myself, prepare to do your office. You see
that my lord archbishop is going very fast — you ought to
warn him of it, not only as his bosom friend, on whose
sincerity he relies, but lest some blunt fellow should anti-
cipate you, and bolt out the truth in an offensive manner.
In that case you know the consequence ; you would be struck
out of his will, where no doubt you have a more con-
vertible bequest than the licentiate Sedillo's library.

But as reason, like James, looks at things with two faces,
I began to consider the other side of the question ; the hint
seemed difficult to wrap up so as to make it palatable.
Authors in general are stark mad on the subject of their
own works, and such an author might be more testy than
the common herd of the irritable race: but that suspicion
seemed illiberal on my part, for it was impossible that my
freedom should be taken amiss, when it had been forced
upon me by so positive an injunction. Add to this, that I
reckoned upon handling the subject skilfully, and cram-
ming discretion down his throat like a high-seasoned
epicurean dish. After all my pro and con, finding that I
risked more by keeping silence than by breaking it, I
determined to venture on the delicate duty of speaking my
mind.

Now there w&s but one difliculty; a difficulty indeed!
how to open the business. Luckily the orator himself ex-
tricated me from that embarrassment, by asking what
they said of him in the world at large, and whether people
were tolerably well pleased with his last discourse. I ans-
wered that there could be but one opinion about his homi-
lies; but that it should seem as if the last had not quite
struck home to the hearts of the audience, Hke those which
had gone before. Do you really mean what you say, my
friend ? replied he, with a sort of wriggling surprise. Then
my congregation are more in the temper of Aristarchus than

The Archbishop has a Stroke of Apoplexy 25

of Longinus! No, may it please your grace, rejoined I,
quite the contrary. Performances of that order are above
the reach of vulgar criticism : there is not a soul but expects
to be saved by their influence. Nevertheless, since you have
made it my duty to be sincere and unreserved, I shall take
the liberty of just stating that your last discourse is not
written with quite the overpowering eloquence and con-
clusive argument of your former ones. Does not your grace
feel just as I do on the subject ?

This ignorant and stupid frankness of mine completely
blanched my master's cheek; but he forced a fretful smile,
and said — Then, good Master Gil Bias, that piece does not
exactly hit your fancy ? I did not mean to say that, your
grace, interrupted I, looking very foolish. It is very far
superior to what any one else could produce, though a little
below par with respect to your own works in general. I know
what you mean, replied he. You think I am going down
hill, do not you ? Out with it at once. It is your opinion
that it is time for me to think of retiring? I should never have
had the presumption, said I, to deliver myself with so little
» reserve, if it had not been your grace's express command.
I act in entire obedience to your grace's orders; and I
most obsequiously implore your grace not to take offence
at my boldness. I were unfit to live in a Christian land !
interrupted he, with stammering impatience; I were unfit
to live in a Christian land if I liked you the less for such
a Christian virtue as sincerity. A man who does not love
sincerity sets his face against the distinguishing mark
between a friend and a flatterer. I should have given you
infinite credit for speaking what you thought, if you had
thought anything that deserved to be spoken. I have been
finely taken in by your outside show of cleverness, without
any solid foundation of sober judgment !

Though completely unhorsed, and at the enemy's mercy,
I wanted to make terms of decent capitulation, and to go un-
molested into winter quarters: but let those who think to
appease an exasperated author, and especially an author
whose ear has been long attuned to the music of his own
praises, take warning by my fate. Let us talk no more on
the subject, my very young friend, said he. You are as yet
scarcely in the rudiments of good taste, and utterly incom-
petent to distinguish between gold and tinsel. You are yet

26 History of Gil Bias

to learn that I never in all my life composed a finer homily
than that unfortunate one which had not the honour of your
approbation. The immortal part of me, by the blessing
of heaven on me and my congregation, is less weighed down
by human infirmity than when the flesh was stronger. We
all grow wiser as we grow older, and I shall in future select
the people about me with more caution; nor submit the
castigation of my works but to a much abler critic than
yourself. Get about your business ! pursued he, giving me
an angry shove by the shoulders out of his closet; go and
tell my treasurer to pay to you a hundred ducats, and take
my priestly blessing in addition to that sum. God speed
you, good Master Gil Bias ! I heartily pray that you may do
well in the world ! There is nothing to stand in your way,
but the want of a httle better taste.

CHAPTER V

THE COURSE WHICH GIL BLAS TOOK AFTER THE ARCHBISHOP
HAD GIVEN HIM HIS DISMISSAL. HIS ACCIDENTAL
MEETING WITH THE LICENTIATE WHO WAS SO DEEPLY
IN HIS DEBT, AND A PICTURE OF GRATITUDE IN THE
PERSON OF A PARSON

I MADE the best of my way out of the closet, cursing
the caprice, or more properly the dotage of the archbishop,
and more in dudgeon at his absurdity, than cast down
at the loss of his good graces. For some time it was a moot
point whether I should go and lay claim to my hundred
ducats ; but after having weighed the matter dispassionately,
I was not such a fool as to quarrel with my bread and butter.
There was no reason why that money, fairly earned, should
deprive me of my natural right to make a joke of this
ridiculous prelate; in which good deed I promised myself
not to be wanting, as often as himself or his homilies were
brought upon the carpet in my hearing.

I went, therefore, and asked the treasurer for a hundred
ducats, without telling a word about the literary warfare
between his master and me. Afterwards I called on Mel-
chior de la Ronda, to take a long leave of him. He was
too much my friend not to sympathize with my misfortune.

Gratitude in the Person of a Parson 27

While I was telling my story vexation was strongly im-
printed on my countenance. In spite of all his respect for
the archbishop, he could not help blaming him ; but, when
in the fever of my resentment I threatened to be a match for
the prelate, and to entertain the whole city at his expense,
the prudent Melchior gave me a salutary caution : Take my
advice, my dear Gil Bias, and rather pocket the affront.
Men of a lower sphere of life should always be cap in hand
to people of quality, whatever may be their grounds of com-
plaint. It must be admitted, there are some very coarse
specimens of greatness, which in themselves are scarcely
deserving of the least respect or attention ; but even such
animals have their weapons of annoyance, and it is best
to keep out of their way.

I thanked the old valet-de-chambre for the good counsel
he had given me, and promised to be guided by it. Pleased
with my deference to his opinion, he said to me : If you go to
Madrid, be sure you call upon my nephew, Joseph Navarro.
He is factotum in the family of Signor Don Balthazzar de
Zunigna, and I can venture to recommend him as a lad in
every respect worthy of your friendship. He is just as
nature made him, with all the vivacity of youth, courteous
in his manners, and forward to oblige; I could wish you to
get acquainted with him. I answered that I would not fail
to go and see this Joseph Navarro as soon as I should get to
Madrid, whither I meant to return in due time. Then did I
turn my back on the episcopal palace, never to grace it
with my presence again. If I had kept my horse, I should
perhaps have set out for Toledo immediately; but I had
sold it during the period of my administration, supposing
that I was in office for life, and should not henceforward be
migratory. My final resolution was to hire a ready-fur-
nished lodging, as I had made up my mind to stay another
month in Grenada, and then to pay the Count de Polan a
visit.

As dinner-hour was drawing nigh, I asked my landlady
if there was any eating-house in the neighbourhood. She
answered that there was a very good one within a few yards
of her house, where the accomodations were excellent, and
the company select and numerous. I made her shew me
where it was, and went thither sharp set. I was shewn
into a large room, resembling the hall of a monastery in

28 History of Gil Bias

everything but good cheer. There were ten or a dozen
men sitting at a long table, with a cloth spread over it that
fretted in its own grease ; but they, with unoffended nostrils,
were engaged in general conversation, though they dined
individually, each having a miserable scrap for his portion.
The people of the house brought me my allowance, which
at another time would have turned my stomach, and have
made me sigh after the luxuries of the table I had just lost.
But at this moment I was so indignant against the arch-
bishop, that the homely fare of a paltry eating-house seemed
more palatable than the dainties of his sumptuous board.
It was a burning shame to see such a waste of provisions
served up in soups and sauces to pamper the appetite.
Arguing like a deep examiner in the economy of the human
frame, and reasoning medically as well as philosophically,
on the disproportion between the simple wants of nature and
the complexity of luxurious indulgence; cursed be they,
said I, who invented those pernicious dinners and suppers,
where one must sit on the tenterhooks of self-denial, for
fear of overloading the storehouse and shop of the whole
body ! Man wants but little here below ; and provided he
can but keep body and soul together, the less he eats the
better. Thus did I, in my surly vein, give utterance to
wise saws, which, however just in theory, had hitherto been
little recommended by my practice.

While I was dispatching my commons, without any danger
of a surfeit from repletion, the licentiate Lewis Garcias, who
had got the living of Gabia in the manner above-mentioned,
came into the room. The moment he recognised me, he
ran into my arms with all the cordiality of friendship, or
rather with the extravagant joy of a lover after a long exile
from his mistress. He folded me repeatedly within his
sincere embrace, and I was compelled to stand the brunt
of a long-winded compliment on the unparalleled dis-
interestedness of my conduct towards him. Gratitude is a
fine virtue ; and yet it is wearisome when carried beyond
due bounds! He took his seat next me, sajdng: Well!
a parson must not swear; though by the mass, my dear
patron, since my good fortune has throv>^n me in your way,
we will not part without a jovial glass. But as there is
no good wine in this shabby inn, I will take you, if you
please, after our make-shift dinner, to a place where I will

Gratitude in the Person of a Parson 29

treat you with a couple of bottles, rich, genuine, and old, in
comparison of which the Falernian of Horace was all a
farce. The church will give us absolution, in the cause of
gratitude ! If I coulc^ but get you for a few days down at
my parsonage of Gabia ! Maecenas was never more welcome
to the poet's Sabine farm, than the author of all my ease and
comfort to the choicest produce of a glebe which is mine only
by your benevolence.

While he was holding this high-flown language, his little
slice of dinner was set before him. He fell to without the
fear of indigestion before his eyes, still heightening the
luxury of the repast at intervals, by fine speeches addressed
to me in the most fulsome style of flattery. I took the
opportunity, when his mouth was filled with something
more substantial, to edge in a word or two amidst the
torrent; and as he had not forgotten to ask after his friend
the steward, I made no bones about acknowledging that
I was no longer a hanger-on of the church. I even went
so far as to particularize the most trivial circumstances
attending my resignation, to all of which he listened with
an attentive ear. After all his fine professions, who would
not have expected to see liim moved even to tears with the
throes of resentful gratitude, to hear him thunder bulls
and interdicts against the superannuated archbishop?
The devil a bit ! he did neither the one thing nor the other.
But his countenance fell, and his whole air was that of an
absent man ; the rest of his dinner was bolted down without
the garnish of intermediate talk about Maecenas; as soon as
he had done, he hurried from table without minding grace
or gratitude, wished me good day with a cold and distant air,
and got off as fast as possible. The unfeeling scoundrel,,
perceiving that I was no longer in a situation for him to
pump anything out of me, would not even take the trouble
to draw a decent veil over his dirty principles. But such
a blackguard could excite no other sensation than contempt
and laughter. Looking at him with derision, the fittest
chastisement for fellows Hke these, I called after him loud
enough to be heard by the whole room: Stop there, you
nun's priest ! Go and put those two bottles in ice against
Maecenas comes to the Sabine farm! Be sure they are
rich, genuine, and old ; or they will be a farce to Falernian.

30 History of Gil Bias

CHAPTER VI-
GIL BLAS GOES TO THE PLAY AT GREN"ADA. HIS SURPRISE
AT SEEING ONE OF THE ACTRESSES, AND WHAT HAPPENED
THEREUPON

No sooner had Garcias rid the room of his presence, than
two gentlemen came in, extremely well dressed, and took
their seats close by me. They began talking about the
players of the Grenada company, and about a new piece
which just then had a great run. According to their
account, it was quite the town talk. Nothing would do
for me, but to go and see it that very day. I had never
been at the play since my residence at Grenada. As I had
lived nearly the whole time in the archbishop's palace,
where all such profane shows were condemned as uncanonical,
I had been cut off from every recreation of that sort. All
my knowledge of men and manners was drawn from
homilies !

I repaired therefore to the theatre at the appointed hour,
and found a very full house. All around me, discussions
were going on about the piece before the curtain drew
up; and there was not a soul in the numerous assembly
but had some remark to make upon it. One liked it,
another could not bear it. Do not you think the dialogue
is particularly happy? said a candid critic on my right.
Was there ever such miserable stuff ! cried a snarling critic
on my left. In good truth, if bad authors abound, it must
be admitted that the public are at variance about what
is good and what is bad: but the bad judges have a right
to be pleased for their money; and as they far outnumber
the good ones, their favourite writers can never want em-
ployment. When one only considers through what an ordeal
dramatic poets have to pass, it is a matter of wonder that
any should be found hardy enough at once to contend
against the ignorance of the multitude, and the random
shot of those self-created guides in matters of taste, who
always pretend to lead the blindness of the public judgment,
and too frequently push it into the mire of absurdity.

At length the buffoon of the piece came forward by way
■of prologue. As soon as his grotesque countenance was

Gil Bias meets Laura again 3 i

visible, there was a general clapping of hands ; a sure indi-
cation of his being one of those spoiled actors, who are
allowed to take any liberties with the pit, and to be ap-
plauded through thick and thin. In fact, this player
neither opened his lips, nor moved a muscle, without ex-
citing the most extravagant raptures. He would have per-
formed better, had he been less conscious what a favourite
he was. But he presumed on that circumstance most
abominably. I observed that he sometimes forgot what
was set down for him, and took the licence of adding to his
part out of his own free fancy; a common cause of com-
plaint against low comedians, which, though it make the
unskilful laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve.
Would the audience but receive such mirth with hisses,
instead of crying bravo, they might restrain the absurd
practice, and purge the stage from barbarism.

Some of the other performers were greeted with the usual
tokens on their entrance, and particularly an actress who
played the chambermaid. There was something about her
which more than usually attracted my attention; and lan-
guage must sink under the labour of expressing my astonish-
ment at tracing the features of Laura, that fair, that chaste,
that inexpressible she, whom I supposed to be still at
Madrid, warbling in one key, with hands, sides, voice, and
mind incorporate with Arsenia. But there could be no
doubt of her identity. The kick in her gallop, the leer in
her eye, and the tripping pertness of her tongue, all con-
spired in evidence that there could be no mistake. Yet,
as if I had refused belief to the affidavit of my own eyes and
ears, I asked her name of a gentleman who was sitting
beside me. What the deuce! Why, where do you come
from ? said he. You must unquestionably be a new im-
portation, not to have seen or heard of the divine Estella.

The likeness was too perfect for me to be mistaken. It
was easy to comprehend why Laura, changing her sphere
of action, changed her name also; wherefore from curiosity
to know how matters stood with her, since the public
always pry into the most private concerns of theatrical
persons, I inquired of the same man whether this Estella had
any particular affair of gallantry on her hands. He in-
formed me that for the last two months there had been a
great Portuguese nobleman at Grenada, his name was the

32 History of Gil Bias

Marquis de Marialva, who had laid out a great deal of
money upon her. He might have told me more, if I had
not been afraid of becoming troublesome with my questions.
I was better employed in musing on the information this
good gentleman had given me, than in attending to the play;
and if any one had asked me what it was all about, when
the piece was over, I should have been puzzled for an
answer. I could do nothing but decline Laura and Estella
through all cases and numbers ; till at length I boldly made
up my mind to call at her house the next day. Not but
there was some risk as to the reception she might give me:
it might be suspected, without excess of modesty, that my
appearance would give her no great pleasure in the high
tide of her affairs ; nor was it at all improbable that so good
an actress, to revenge herself on a man, with whom cer-
tainly she had an account to settle, might look strange,
and swear she had never seen his face before. Yet did
none of these apprehensions deter me from my venture.
After a light supper, for all the meals at my eating-house
were regulated on principles of economy and temperance,
I withdrew to my chamber with an anxious longing for the
next day.

My sleep was short and interrupted ; so that I got up by
daybreak. But as it was to be recollected that a mistress
in high keep was not likely to be visible early in the morning,
I passed three or four hours in dressing, shaving, powdering,
and perfuming. It was my business to present myself before
her in a trim, not to put her to the blush at acknowledging
my acquaintance. I sallied forth about ten o'clock, and
knocked at her door, after having inquired her address
at the theatre. She was living on the first floor of a large
and elegant house. I told a chambermaid who opened the
door to me, that a young man wanted to speak with her
lady. The chambermaid went in to give my message,
when all at once I heard her mistress call out, not in the best-
tempered tone in the world : Who is the young man ? What
does he want? Shew him upstairs.

This was a hint to me that my time was ill chosen ; that
probably her Portuguese lover was at her toilette, and that
she spoke so loud, with the laudable design of convincing
him that she was not a sort of girl to allow of any imper-
tinent intruders. This conjecture of mine turned out to

Gil Bias meets Laura again 33

be the fact; the Marquis de Marialva lounged away almost
every morning with her: I had made up my mind to be
kicked down-stairs by way of welcome ; but that admirable
actress, never forgetting her cue, ran forward with open
arms at the sight of me, exclaiming : Ah ! my dear brother, is
it you that I behold ? On the strength of so near a kindred,
she was no niggard of her embraces; but recollected her-
self so far as to say, turning round to the Portuguese,
My lord, you must excuse me if nature will put in her claim,
and trench upon good breeding. After three years of
absence, I cannot see a brother once again, whom I love so
tenderly, without expressing my feelings in all their
warmth. Come! my dear Gil Bias, continued she, ad-
dressing me afresh, tell me some news of the family: in
what circumstances did you leave it ?

This whimsical scene disconcerted me at first; but I was
not long in seeing through Laura's intention ; and playing up
to her with a spirit scarcely less than her own, answered
according to the plot: Heaven be praised, sister, all our
good folks are in perfect health, and well in the world. I
make no doubt, resumed she, but*you must be very much
surprised to find me an actress in Grenada; but hear me first
and blame me afterwards. It is three years, as you may
recollect, since my father thought to have established me
advantageously in marriage with Don Antonio Coello, an
officer in the service, who took me from the Asturias to
Madrid, his native place. Six months after our arrival,
he got into an affair of honour in consequence of his violent
temper. Some attentions incautiously paid to me were
the cause of the affray, and his antagonist was killed.
This gentleman was of a family high in rank and interest.
My husband, who though well bom, had very few con-
nections, made his escape into Catalonia with every-
thing he could get together in jewels and ready money.
He embarked at Barcelona, went over into Italy, enhsted
in the Venetian service, and finally lost his life in the Morea,
fighting against the Turks. In the mean time, a landed
estate which constituted our whole revenue was confiscated,
and I was left a widow with very Httle for my support.
What was to be done in so pressing an emergency ? There
was nothing left to pay my traveUing expenses back into
the Asturias. And then what should I have done there ?

34 History of Gil Bias

I should have got nothing from my family but a long string
of condolences, which would have furnished me neither with
food nor with raiment. On the other hand, I had been too
well brought up to fall into those courses, into which too
many poor young women are betrayed for the sake of a
scandalous subsistence. There was but one thing re-
maining for me to determine on. I turned actress to
preserve my morals.

So tingling a sense of ridicule came over me, when Laura
wound up her romance with this pious motive for turning
actress, that I could scarcely refrain from relieving myself
by a fit of laughter. But gravity was of too much conse-
quence to be dispensed with ; and I said to her with an air the
counterpart of her own — My dear sister, I entirely approve
of your conduct, and am heartily glad to meet with you at
Grenada, and moreover settled on so respectable a footing.

The Marquis de Marialva, who had not lost a word of all
these fine speeches, swallowed down bhndfold whatever Don
Antonio's widow thought fit to drench his credulity with.
He took part in the conversation too, and asked me whether
I had any fixed employment in Grenada or elsewhere.
I paused for a moment to consider whether and after
what manner I should He; but as there seemed no need in
this case to draw on my invention, I told the truth by way
of variety. In a plain matter-of-fact manner did I rehearse
my^ introduction to the archbishop's palace, and my dis-
charge therefrom, to the infinite amusement of his Portu-
guese lordship. To be sure, in telling the truth, I did not
keep my word, for I could not help launching out a little at
the archbishop's expense, in spite of my solemn promise
given to Melchior. But the best of the joke was, that Laura
taking my story for a fiction invented after her example,
burst out into peals of laughter: whereas the whimsicality
of the circumstances would have raised a soberer mirth,
had she known it to have been alloyed with the base in-
gredient of veracity.

After having come to the end of my tale, which closed
with just mentioning the lodging I had taken, dinner was
announced. I instantly motioned to withdraw, as if in-
tending to take that frugal meal at home ; but Laura would
not hear of it. Do you mean to affront me, brother?
said she. You must dine here. Indeed, I cannot think of

Gil Bias meets Laura again 35

your staying any longer at a paltry inn. You must posi-
ti\^ely board and lodge in my house. Send your trunks
hither this very evening ; there is a spare bed for you.

His Portuguese lordship, possibly not altogether relish-
ing this excess of hospitality even to a brother, then inter-
fered between us, and said to Laura — No, Estella, you have
not sufficient accommodation to give him a bed without
inconvenience. Your brother seems to be a clever young
fellow; and the circumstance of his being so nearly related
to you, gives him a strong claim on my kindness. He shall
be put at once upon my establishment. I am in want of
a secretary, and shall delight in giving him the appoint-
ment : he shall be my right-hand man. Let him be sure to
come and sleep at my house this very night ; I will order a
room to be got ready for him. I will fix his regular salary
at four hundred ducats; and if on better acquaintance I
have reason, as I trust I shall, to be satisfied with him, I will
place him in a situation to laugh at the consequences of
having been a little too plain-spoken with his patron the
archbishop.

My acknowledgments to the* Marquis for this high
honour were followed by those of Laura, who far exceeded
me in powers of panegyric. Let us drop the subject, inter-
rupted he; it is a settled point. Settled as it was, he con-
firmed the contract on the lips of his green-room Dulcinea,
and went his way. She immediately pulled me by the arm
into a closet, where, secure from interruption, she cried
out, Cut my laces! I shall burst if I do not give way at
once to the fit of laughter that is coming over me. And so
she probably would; for she threw herself into an arm-
chair, and holding both her sides, shouted out her con-
vulsive peal of mirth like a mad woman. It was im-
possible for me to refrain from following her example.
When we had exhausted our risible propensities. Own,
Gil Bias, said she, that we have just been acting a very
humorous farce. But I did not look for the concluding
scene. My only thought was to secure you board and
lodging under my own roof; and there was no other pos-
sibility of making the proposition in a modest way but
by passing you off for my brother. But I am heartily
glad that the chapter of accidents has opened with so
good a berth for you. The Marquis de Marialva is a

36 History of Gil Bias

nobleman of liberal and honourable sentiments, who will
be better than his word in what he does for you. But con-
fess now! There is scarcely a woman in existence except
myself, would have given so coming-on a reception to a
fellow who shirks his friends without saying with your
leave or by your leave. I however am one of those simple-
hearted girls, who are glad to receive back again the base
man they have once loved, though he should have offended
and repented seven, or even seven thousand times.

The best way for me was to acknowledge the extreme
ill-breeding of which I had been guilty, to blush and beg
pardon once for all. After this explanation, she led the
way to a very handsome dining-room. We placed our-
selves at table, where, having a chambermaid and a foot-
boy for eye-witness, we kept within the bounds of brother
and sister. When we had done dinner, we went back again
into the same closet where we had been conversing before.
Having our time to ourselves, my paragon of a Laura,
giving herself up to her natural love of merriment, and to
her no less natural curiosity, required from me a faithful
and true narrative of all my pros and cons, my ins and outs,
since that unmannerly separation of ours. I gave her
a full and particular account: nothing extenuating on my
own behalf, nor setting down aught in malice on the other
side. When I had quenched her thirst after a story, she
slaked mine, by communicating the particulars of her event-
ful hfe to the following effect.

CHAPTER VII

Laura's story

I SHALL just run over to you, as briefly as possible, the
circumstances which led me to embrace the theatrical
profession.

After you took French leave, so much to your credit,
great, events happened. My mistress Arsenia, more sur-
feited with a glut of pleasures than scandaHzed at their
immorality, renounced the stage, and took me with her to a
fine estate which she had just purchased in the neighbour-
hood of Zenora with the wages of her sinful life. We soon

Laura's Story 37

got acquainted in the town. Our visits there were very
frequent, and sometimes for a day or two together. With
the exception of these Uttle excursions, we were as closely
domesticated as probationers in a nunnery, and almost as
piously employed.

On one of our high days and holidays, Don Felix Mol-
donado, the corregidor's only son, saw me by chance, and
took a liking to me. He soon found an opportunity of
speaking with me in private; and, as it is in vain to affect
modesty before one who knows me so well, there was some
Httle contrivance of my own to bring the interview about.
The young gentleman was not twenty years of age; the
very picture of Venus's sweetheart, or Venus's sweetheart
the very picture of him ; with a form for a sculptor to work
from; with an address so elegant, and with sentiments
so generous, as to throw even his personal graces into the
background. There was such a winning way with him,
so pressing an earnestness to prevail, when he took a large
diamond from his own finger, and slid it upon mine, that
it would have been quite brutal not to have let it stay
there. It was really something like sentiment that I
began to entertain towards a swain of so interesting a
character. But what an absurd thing it is for wenches
of a certain sort to hook themselves upon young men of
family, when their surly fathers hold official situations!
The corregidor, who had scarcely his equal in the whole
tribe of corregidors, got wind of our correspondence, and
determined to close it in a summary manner. He sent
a host of alguazils to take me into custody, who dragged
me away, in spite of my cries.^jid tears, to the house of cor-
rection forfemale_pemtents^^ ^

Thef^TwIthout bill of inaicliHent or form of trial, the
lady abbess ordered me to be stripped of my ring and my
clothes, and to be dressed in the habit of the institution;
a long gown of grey serge tied about the middle with a
strap of black leather, whence depended a rosary with
large beads swinging down to my heels. After this pleas-
ant reception, they took me into a hall, where there was an
old monk, the deuce knows of what order, who set to work
preaching up repentance and resignation, pretty much in
the same strain as Dame Leonarda, when she exhorted you
to patience in the subterraneous cavern. He told me that I

38 History of Gil Bias

was excessively obliged indeed to those good people who
had so kindly shut me up, and could never thank them
sufficiently for their good deed, in rescuing me from the
harpy talons of the world, the flesh, and the devil. But
I must frankly own that all my other sins were pressed
down and heaped high with ingratitude: far from over-
flowing with the milk of human kindness towards those
who had conferred such a favour upon me, I abused them
in terms that would have put any dictionary to the blush.

Eight days thus passed in this wilderness of desolation;
but on the ninth, for I had notched the hours and even the
minutes on a stick, my fate seemed beginning to take another
turn. Crossing a little court, I met the house steward,
a personage whose will was absolute; yes, the lady abbess
herself was obedient to his will. He rendered an account
of his stewardship to none but the corregidor, on whom
alone he was dependent, and whose confidence in him was
unbounded. His name was Pedro Zendono, and the town
of Salsedon in Biscay laid claim to the honour of his birth.
Figure to yourself a tall man, with the complexion of a
mummy and the bare anatomy of a dealer in mortification ;
he might have sat for the penitent thief in a picture of
the crucifixion. He scarcely ever cast a carnal glance to-
wards us Magdalens. You never saw such a face of rank
hypocrisy in all your life, though you have spent some
part of it under the same roof with the archbishop, and
are not unacquainted with the clergy of his diocese.

But to return from this digression ;....! met this Signor
Zendono, who said to me sHly as he passed — Take comfort,
my girl, I am sensibly affected with your wretched case.
He said no more, and went on his way, leaving me to make
my own comments on so concise and general a text. As
he looked like a good man, and there was no positive evi-
dence to set against his looks, I was simpleton enough to
fancy that he had taken the trouble of inquiring why I was
shut up; and meant, not finding me so atrocious a cul-
prit as to deserve such shameful insults, to take my part
with the corregidor. But I was not up to the tricks of the
Biscayan, he had a much longer head. He was turning
over in his mind the scheme of an elopement, and made
the proposal to me in profound privacy some days after-
wards. My dear Laura, said he, your sufferings have taken

Laura's Story 39

such deep possession of my mind, that I have determined
to end them. I am perfectly aware that my own ruin is in-
volved in the measure, but needs must when the tender
passion drives. To-morrow morning do I intend to take
you out of prison, and conduct you in person to Madrid.
No sacrifice is too great for the pleasure of being your
deliverer.

I was very near fainting with surprise and joy at this
promise of Zendono, who, concluding from my acknow-
ledgments that my very life depended on my rescue, had
the effrontery to carry me off next day in the face of the
whole town, by the following device — He told the lady
abbess that he had orders to take me before the corregidor,
who was at his country box a few miles off; and without
betraying himself by a single change of countenance,
packed me off, with him for my companion, in a post-
chaise drawn by two good mules which he had bought for
the occasion. Our only attendant was the driver, a ser-
vant of his own, and entirely devoted to the steward by
stronger ties than those of gratitude. We began bowling
away, not in the direction of Madrid, as I had taken for
I granted, but towards the frontiers of Portugal, whither
ve got in less time than it took the corregidor of Zamora to
^ceive the deposition of our flight, and uncouple his pack

set them barking at our heels.

Sefore we entered Braganza, the Biscayan made me put
on .nan's clothes, with which he had taken the precaution of
providing himself. Reckoning on me as being fairly
launched in the same boat with him, he said to me in the
inn where we put up, Lovely Laura, do not take it unkindly
of me to have brought you into Portugal. The corregidor of
Zamora will make our own country too hot to hold us^
for in his eyes we are two criminals, under the weight of
whose enormities it is not for Spain to groan. But we may
set his malice at defiance in this distant realm, though at the
present conjuncture under the dominion of the Spanish
monarchy. At least we shall stand a better chance for
safety here than at home. League your fortunes with
those of a man who would follow you in prosperity or in
adversity through the world. Let us fix our residence at
Coimbra. There I will get employed as a spy for the in-
quisition; under the cover of that formidable tribunal.

40 History of Gil Bias

a refreshing shade for us, but Cimmerian darkness to its
victims, our days will glide smoothly on in ease and pleasure,
we shall fatten on the spoil of religious delinquency.

A proposal so much to the point gave me to under-
stand that I had to do with a knight, who had other motives
for officiating as the guardian of distressed damsels,
besides the honour of chivalry. I saw at once that he
reckoned much on my gratitude, and still more on my
distress. Nevertheless, though these two pleas were almost
equally eloquent in his favour, I rejected his addresses with
disdain. The reason was, that there were two advocates
still more eloquent on the side of a refusal ; a certainty that
he was disagreeable, and a strong suspicion that he was
poor. But when he returned to the charge, and offered to
say the grace of matrimony before he fell to, proving to
me at the same time, by the undeniable evidence of cash
in hand, that his stewardship had enabled him to live in
clover for a long time to come, the truth must come out in
spite of blushes; my heart was softened, and my ears un-
stopped. I was dazzled by the gold and jewels which he
laid out in burning row before me, and became a living
monument in my own person, that miraculous transforma-
tions are effected by the power of pelf, as well as by the wand
of love. My Biscay an became, by little and little, quite
another sort of man in my eyes. His tall body and bare
bones were plumped up into a shapely and commanding
figure; his cadaverous complexion was improved into
a manly brown ; even that look, as if butter would not melt
in his mouth, was no longer hypocrisy, but a staid and
decent aspect. Having made these discoveries, I ac-
cepted his hand without any material abhorrence, and he
plighted the usual vows in all due form. After this, like
a good wife, I kept the spirit of contradiction as much as
possible under the hatches. We resumed our journey, and
Coimbra soon received a new family within its walls.

My husband stocked my wardrobe as became my sex
and station, making me a present of several diamonds,
among which I fixed my eye on that of Don Felix Mal-
donado. There were no further documents wanting to
give a shrewd guess whence came all the precious stones
I had seen, and to be morally certain that I had not married
a troublesomely nice observer of the eighth article in the

Laura's Story 41

I'decalogue. Yet, considering myself as the main-spring
of all his little deviations from the strict law of propriety,
[it was not for me to judge harshly on that point. A woman
can always find a palliation for the misdeeds which are set
in motion by the power of her own beauty. But for that,
he certainly would have ranked no higher than one of the
wicked in my estimation.

I had no great reason to complain of him for two or
three months. His attentions were always polite and kind,
amounting apparently to a sincere and tender affection.
But no such thing! These proofs of wedded love, this
worshipping with the body, and endowing with the worldly
goods, were all but a copy of his countenance; for the
cheating fellow meant, as men serve a cucimiber, to throw
me away on the first opportunity. One morning, at my
return from mass, I found nothing at home but the bare
walls; the moveables, not excepting my own apparel, every
stick and every thread, had been carried off. Zendono
and his faithful servant had taken their measures so ad-
roitly, that in less than an hour the house had been com-
pletely gutted; so that with nothing but the gown upon my
back, and Don Felix's ring, as good luck would have it, on
my finger, here stood I, like another Ariadne, abandoned
by the ungrateful rifler of my effects as well as of my charms.
But you may take my word for it, I did not beguile the
sense of my misfortunes in tragedy, elegy, scene individable,
or poem unlimited. I rather fell upon my knees, and blessed
my guardian angel, for having delivered me from a rascal
who must sooner or later fall into the hands of justice.
The time we had passed together I considered in the light
of a dead loss, and my spirits were all on the alert to make
up for it. If I had been inclined to stay in Portugal, as a
hanger-on to some woman of fashion, I should have found
no difficulty in suiting myself ; but whether it was patriotism,
or some astrological conjunction, preparing a better for-
tune for me under the influence of the planets, my whole
heart was bent on getting back into Spain. I applied to a
jeweller, who valued my diamond and gave me cash for it,
and then took my departure with an old Spanish lady who
was going to Seville in a post-chaise.

This lady, whose name was Dorothea, had been to see a
relation settled at Coimbra, and was on her return to

42 History of Gil Bias

Seville, where she lived. There was such a sympathy
between us, as made us fast friends on the very first day of
our acquaintance; and the attachment grew so close while
we travelled together, that the lady insisted, at our jour-
ney's end, on my making her house my home. I had no
reason to repent having formed such a connection. Never
was there a woman of a more charming character. One
might still conclude from the turn of her countenance, and
from the spirit not yet quenched in her eyes, that in her
youth the catgut of many a guitar must have been fretted
under her window. As a proof of this, she had many trials
what a state of widowhood was ; her husbands had all been
of noble birth, and her finances were flourishing on the
accumulation of her several jointures.

Among other admirable qualities, she had that of not
visiting severely the frailties of her own sex. When I let her
into the secret of mine, she entered so warmly into my
interests, as to speak of Zendono with more sincerity than
good manners. What graceless fellows these men are ! said
she in a tone from which one might infer that she had met
with some light-fingered steward in the passing of her
accounts. They would not be worth picking off a dunghill,
if one could do without them ! There is a large fraternity
of sorry scoundrels in the world, who make it their sport
to gain the hearts of women, and then desert them. There
is, however, one consoling circumstance, my dear child.
According to your account, you are by no means bound
fast to that faithless Biscayan. If your marriage with him
was sufficiently formal to save your credit with the world,
on the other hand, it was contracted loosely enough to
admit of your trying your luck at a better match, whenever
an opportunity may fall in your way.

I went out every day with Dorothea, either to church, or
to visit among her friends; both likely occasions of picking
up an adventure; so that I attracted the notice of several
gentlemen. There were some of them who had a mind to
feel how the land lay. They made their proposals to my
venerable protectress; but these had not wherewithal to
defray the expenses of an establishment, and those were mere
unfledged boys under age; an insuperable objection, which
left me very little merit in turning a deaf ear to them. One
day a whim seized Dorothea and me, to go and see a play

Laura's Story 43

at Seville. The bills announced a favourite and standard
piece: El Embaxador de Si-mismo, written by Lope de Vega.

Among the actresses who came upon the stage, I dis-
covered one of my old cronies. It was impossible to have
forgotten Phenicia, that bouncing good-humoured girl
whom you have seen as Florimonde's waiting maid, and have
supped with more than once at Arsenia's. I was aware
that Phenicia had left Madrid above two years ago, but
had never heard of her turning actress. I longed so
earnestly to embrace her, that the piece appeared quite
tedious. Perhaps, too, there might be some fault in
those who played it, as being neither good enough nor
bad enough to afford me entertainment. For as to my own
temper, which is that of seeking diversion wherever I can
find it, I must confess that an actor supremely ridiculous
answers my purpose just as well as the most finished per-
former of the age.

At last, the moment I had been waiting for being arrived,
namely the dropping of the curtain on this favourite and
standard piece, we went, for my, widow would go with me,
behind the scenes, where we caught a glimpse of Phenicia,
who was playing off the amiable and unaffected simpleton,
and listening with all the primness of studied simpHcity to
the soft chirping of a young stagefinch, who had evidently
suffered himself to be caught in the birdlime of her pro-
fessional or meretricious talents. No sooner did her eye
meet mine, than she quitted him with a genteel apology,
ran up to me with open arms, and lavished upon me all the
demonstrations of strong attachment imaginable. Our
expressions of joy at this unexpected meeting were indeed
reciprocal; but neither time nor place admitting of any
very copious indulgence in the privilege of asking questions,
we adjourned till the following day, with a promise of re-
newing our mutual inquiries thick and threefold, under
the shelter of her friendly roof.

The pleasure of talking is the inextinguishable passion of
woman, coeval with the act of breathing. I could not get
a wink of sleep all night, for the burning desire of having a
grapple with Phenicia, and closing in upon her in the con-
flict of curiosity. Witness all the powers who preside over
tattling, whether the love of lying in bed, another passion
of woman, prevented me from getting up and flying to my

44 History of Gil Bias

appointment as early as good manners would allow. She lived
with the rest of the company in a large ready-furnished
lodging. A female attendant who met me at entrance, on
being requested to show me Phenicia's apartment, led
the way up-stairs to a gallery, along which were ranged ten
or twelve small rooms, divided only by partitions of deal
boards, and inhabited by this merry band. My con-
ductress knocked at a door which Phenicia opened; for
her tongue was cruelly on the fidget to be let loose, as well as
my own. We allowed ourselves no time for the imperti-
nent ceremonies which usually usher in a visit, but plunged
at once into a most furious career of loquacity. It seemed
as if we should have a tight bout together. There were so
many interrogatories to be bandied backwards and for-
wards, that question and answer rebounded like tennis-
balls, only with ten-fold velocity.

After having related our adventures each to other, and
inquired into the actual condition of affairs, Phenicia asked
me how I meant to provide for myself. My reply was, that
I purposed, while waiting for something better, to get a
situation with some young lady of quality. For shame,
exclaimed my other self, you shall not think of such a thing.
Is it possible, my darling, that you should not yet be dis-
gusted with menial service ? Are you not heartily sick of
knocking under to the good or ill pleasure of others, of
being cap-in-hand to all their caprices, and after all to be
entertained with that unchangeable tune called a scolding,
in a word, to be a downright slave ? Why do not you
follow my example, and turn your thoughts towards the
stage? Nothing can be better suited to people of parts,
when they happen not to be equally favoured in the articles
of wealth and birth. It is a sphere of life which holds a
middle rank between the nobility and mere tradespeople;
a profession exempted from all troublesome restraint, and
raised far above the common prejudices of humble and
decent society. The public are our bankers, and we draw
upon them at sight. We live in a continual round of ecstasy,
and spend our money to the fuU as fast as we earn it.

The theatre (for she went on at a great rate) is favourable
above all to women. When I lived with Florimonde, it is
a misery to think of it, I was reduced to take up with the
supernumeraries of the prince's company; not a single man

Laura's Story 45

of fashion paid the least attention to my figure. How
came that about ? Because they never got a ghmpse of it.
The finest picture in the world may escape the admiration
of the connoisseurs, if it is not placed in a proper light.
But since I have been suitably framed and varnished, which
could only happen in consequence of a theatrical finish,
what a revolution! The finest young fellows of all the
[towns we pass through are shuffling at my heels. An
actress therefore has all her little comforts about her,
without deviating from the line of her duty. If she is
discreet, by which we mean that she should not admit
more than one lover into her good graces at a time, her
exemplary conduct is cried up as without a parallel. She
is called a very Niobe for her coldness; and when she
changes her favourite, she is reprimanded as slightly by
the world, as a lawful widow who marries a few weeks too
soon after the death of her first husband. If, however,
the widow should look for luck in odd numbers, and take
to herself a third, the contempt of all mankind is poured
down on her devoted head ; she is considered as a monster
of indelicacy; whereas we happier women are so much the
more in vogue, as we add to the Hst of our favourites.
After having been served up to a hundred different lovers,
some battered nobleman finds us a dainty dish for him-
self.

Do you mean that by way of news? interrupted I as
she uttered the last sentiment. Do you imagine me to be
ignorant of these advantages ? I have often conned them
over in my mind, and they are but too alluring to a girl of
my character. The attractions of the stage would be
irresistible, were inclination all. But some little talent is
indispensable; and I have not a spark. I have sometimes
attempted to rehearse passages from plays before Arsenia.
She was never satisfied with my performance ; and that dis-
gusted me with the profession. You are easily put out of
conceit with yourself, replied Phenicia. Do not you know
that these great actresses are very apt to be jealous ? With
all their vanity, they are afraid lest some newer face should
put them out of countenance. In short, I would not be
guided by Arsenia on that subject; she did not give her real
opinion. In my judgment, and without meaning to flatter
you, the theatre is your natural element. You have ad-

46 History of Gil Bias

mirable powers, free and graceful action, a fine-toned voice,
volubility of declamation, and such a turn of countenance !
Ah ! you little rogue ! you will bring all the young fellows
behind the scenes, if once you take to the boards !

She plied me with many flattering compliments besides;
and made me recite some lines, only by way of enabling
me to form my own judgment as to my theatrical genius.
Now that she was my censor, it seemed quite another
thing. She praised me up to the skies, and held all the
actresses in Madrid as mere makeweights in the scale.
After such a testimony, it would have been inexcusable
to hesitate about my own merit. Arsenia stood attainted,
nay, convicted of jealousy and treachery. There could be
no question about my being everything that was de-
lightful. Two players happened to drop in by accident,
and Phenicia prevailed on me to repeat the lines I had
already spouted; they fell into a sort of enthusiastic trance,
whence they were roused only to launch out fervently in
admiration of me. Literally, had they all three been
flattering me up for a wager, they could not have adopted
a more extravagant scale of panegyric. My modesty
was not proof against such praise from those who were
themselves praised. I began to think myself really worthy
of something ; and now was my whole heart and soul turned
towards a theatrical life.

Since this is the case, said I to Phenicia, the affair is
determined. I will follow your advice and engage in your
company, if they will accept me. My friend, transported
with joy at this proposal, clasped me in her arms; and her
two companions seemed no less delighted than herself
at finding me in that humour. It was settled that I should
attend the theatre on the following day in the morning, and
exhibit before the collected body the same sample of my
talent as I had just displayed. If I had bought golden
opinions from Phenicia and her friends, the actors in general
were still more complimentary in their judgment, after I
had recited but twenty lines before them. They gave me
an engagement with the utmost willingness. Then there
was nothing thought of but my first appearance. To make
it as striking as possible, I laid out all the money remaining
from the sale of my ring ; and though my funds would not
allow of being splendid in my dress, I discovered the art of

Laura's Story 47

substituting taste for glitter, and converting my poverty
into a new grace.

At length I came out. What clapping of hands! what
general admiration! It would be speaking faintly, my
friend, to tell you downright that the spectators were all in
an ecstasy. You must have heard with your own ears
what a noise I made at Seville, to beheve it. The whole talk
of the town was about me, and the house was crowded for
three weeks successively; so that this novelty restored the
theatre to its popularity, when it was evidently beginning
to decline. Thus did I come upon the stage, and step into
public favour at once. But to come upon the stage with
such distinction, is generally a prelude to coming upon the
town; or at least to putting one's self up at auction to
the best bidder. Twenty sparks of all ages, from seventeen
to seventy, were on the list of candidates, and would have
worn me in my newest gloss. Had I followed my own
incHnations, I should have chosen the youngest, and the
most of a lady's man; but in our profession, interest and
ambition must bear the sway, till we have feathered our
nest ; that is as invariable a rule S.s any in the prompt book.
On this principle, Don Ambrosio de Nisana, a man in whom
age and ugHness had done their worst, but rich, generous,
and one of the most powerful noblemen in Andalusia,
had the refusal of the bargain. It is true that he paid
handsomely for it. He took a fine house for me, furnished
in the extreme of magnificence, allowed me a man cook of
the first eminence, two footmen, a lady's maid, and a
thousand ducats a month for my personal expenses. Add
to all this a rich wardrobe and an elegant assortment of
jewels.

What a revolution in my affairs ! My poor brain was com-
pletely turned. I could not believe myself to be the same
person. No wonder if girls soon forget the meanness and
misery whence some man of quality has rescued them in a
fit of caprice. My confession shall be without reserve:
public applause, flattering speeches buzzed about on every
side, and Don Ambrosio's passion kindled such a flame of
self-conceit as kept me in a continual ferment of extrava-
gance. I considered my talents as a patent of nobility.
I put on the woman of fashion; and becoming as chary as
I had hitherto been lavish of my amorous chcdlengers.

48 History of Gil Bias

determined to look no lower than dukes, counts, or mar-
quises.

My lord of Nisana brought some of his friends to sup
with me every evening. It was my care to invite the best
companions among our actresses, and we wore away a
good part of the night in laughing and drinking. I fell
in very kindly with so delicious a life, but it lasted only
six months. Men of rank are apt to be whimsical; but
for that fault, they would be too heavenly. Don Ambrosio
deserted me for a young coquette from Grenada, who had
just brought a pretty person to the Seville market, and
knew how to set off her wares to the best advantage. But
I did not fret after him more than four-and-twenty hours.
His place was supphed by a young fellow of two-and- twenty,
Don Lewis d' Alcacer, with whom few Spaniards could
vie in point of face and figure.

You will ask me, doubtless, and it is natural to do so, why
I selected so green a sprig of nobility for my paramour,
when my own experience so strongly dissuaded from such a
choice. But, besides that Don Lewis had neither father nor
mother, and was already in possession of his fortune, you are
to know that there is no danger of disagreeable conse-
quences attaching to any but girls in a servile condition of
life, or those unfortunate loose fish who are game for every
sportsman. Ladies of our profession are privileged persons ;
we let off our charms like a rocket, and are not answerable
for the damage where they fall ; so much the worse for those
families whose heirs we set in a blaze.

As for Alcacer and myself, we were so strongly attached
to one another, that I verily beheve, love never yet did
such execution as when he took aim at us two. Our passion
was of such a violent nature, that we seemed to be under
the influence of some spell. Those who knew how well
we were together, thought us the happiest pair in the world ;
but we, who knew best, found ourselves the most miserable.
Though Don Lewis had as fine an outside as ever fell to
the lot of man, he was at the same time so jealous, that
there was no living for vexation at his unfounded surmises.
It was of no use, knowing his weakness and humouring it,
to lay an embargo on my looks, if ever a male creature
peeped into harbour; his suspicious temper, seldom at a
loss for some crime to impute, rendered my armed neu-

Laura's Story 49

trality of no avail. Our most tender moments had always a
spice of wrangling. There was no standing the brunt of it;
patience could hold out no longer on either side, and we
quarrelled more peaceably than we had loved. Could you
believe that the last day of our being together was the
happiest? both equally wearied out by the perpetual re-
currence of unpleasant circumstances, we gave a loose to
our transports when we embraced for the last time. We
were like two wretched captives, breathing the fresh air of
Hberty after all the horrors of our prison-house.

Since that adventure, I have worn a breastplate against
the httle archer. No more amorous nonsense for me, at least
to a troublesome excess ! It is quite out of our line, to sigh
and complain like Arcadian shepherdesses. Those should
never give way to a passion in private, who hold it up to
ridicule before the public.

While these events were passing in my domestic estab-
lishment, Fame had not hung her trumpet breathless on the
willows; she spread it about universally that I was an
inimitable actress. That celestial tattler, though bank-
rupt times out of number, still contrives to revive her credit;
the comedians of Grenada therefore wrote to offer me an
engagement in their company; and by way of evidence
that the proposal was not to be scorned, they sent me a
statement of their daily receipts and disbursements, with
their terms, which seemed to be advantageous. That being
the case, I closed, though grieved in my heart to part with
Phenicia and Dorothea, whom I loved as well as woman is
capable of loving woman. I left the first laudably em-
ployed in melting the plate of a little haggling goldsmith,
whose vanity so far got the better of his avarice that he
must needs have a theatrical heroine for his mistress.
I forgot to tell you that on my translation to the stage,
from mere whim, I changed the name of Laura to that of
Estella, and it was under the latter name that I took this
engagement at Grenada.

My first appearance was no less successful here than at
Seville ; and I soon felt myself wafted along by the sighs of
my admirers. But resolving not to favour any except
on honourable terms, I kept a guard of modesty in my inter-
course with them, which threw dust in their eyes. Never-
theless, not to be the dupe of virtues which pay very in-

50 History of Gil Bias

differently, and were not exactly at home in their new
mansion, I was balancing whether or not to take up with a
young fellow of mean extraction, who had a place under
government, and assumed the style of a gentleman in
virtue of his office, with a good table and handsome equip-
age, when I saw the Marquis de Marialva for the first time.
This Portuguese nobleman, travelling over Spain from mere
curiosity, stopped at Grenada as he passed through it. He
came to the play. I did not perform that evening. His
-examination of the actresses was very particular, and he
found one to his liking. Their acquaintance commenced
on the very next day; and the definitive treaty was very
nearly concluded when I appeared upon the stage. What
with some personal graces, and no little affectation in setting
them off, the weather-cock veered about all on a sudden;
my Portuguese was mine and mine only till death do us part.
Yet, since the truth must be told, I knew perfectly that my
sister of the sock and buskin had entrapped this nobleman,
and spared no pains to chouse her out of her prize; to my
success you are yourself a witness. She bears me no small
grudge on that account; but the thing could not be avoided.
She ought to reflect that it is the way of all female flesh;
that the dearest friends play off the same trick upon one
another, and put a good face upon it into the bargain.

CHAPTER Vni

THE RECEPTION OF GIL BLAS AMONG THE PLAYERS AT
GRENADA; AND ANOTHER OLD ACQUAINTANCE PICKED
UP IN THE GREEN-ROOM

Just as Laura was finishing her story, there came in an
old actress who lived in her neighbourhood, and was come
to take her to the theatre as she passed by. This venerable
tutelary of the stage was admirably fitted to play some
superannuated strumpet among the heathen goddesses
in a pantomime. My sister was not remiss in introducing
her brother to that stale old harridan, whereupon a pro-
fusion of compliments were bandied about on both sides.

I left them together, telling the steward's relict that I
■would join her again at the playhouse, as soon as I had

Gil Bias* Reception by the Players 5 1

sent my baggage to the Marquis de Marialva's, to whose
residence she directed me. First I went to the room
I had hired, whence, after having settled with my land-
lady, I repaired with a porter who carried my luggage to a
large ready-furnished house, where my new master was
quartered. At the door I met his steward, who asked
me if I was not the lady Estella's brother. I answered in
the affirmative. Then you are welcome, Signor cavalier,
replied he. The Marquis de Marialva, whose steward I
have the honour to be, has commissioned me to receive you
properly. There is a room got ready for you; I will show
you the way to it, if you please, that you may be quite at
home. He took me up to the top of the house, and thrust
me into so small a room, that a very narrow bed, a chest of
drawers, and two chairs completely filled it. This was
my apartment. You will not have much spare room, said
my conductor, but as a set-off, I promise you that you shall
be superbly lodged at Lisbon. I locked up my portmanteau
in the wardrobe and put the key in my pocket, asking at the
same time what was the hour of supper. The answer was,
that his lordship seldom suppecf at home, but allowed
each servant a monthly sum for board wages. I put several
other questions, and learnt that the Marquis's people were
a happy set of idle fellows. After a conversation short and
sweet, I left the steward to go and look for Laura, reflecting
much to my own satisfaction on the happy omens I drew
from the opening of my new situation.

As soon as I got to the playhouse door, and mentioned
my name as Estella's brother, there was free admission at
once. You might have observed the forwardness of the
guards to make way for me, just as if I had been one of the
most considerable noblemen in Grenada. All the super-
numeraries, door-keepers, and receivers of checks whom
I encountered in my progress, made me their very best
bows. But what I should hke best to give the reader an
idea of, is the serious reception which the merry vagrants
gave me in the green-room, where I found the whole
dramatis personae ready dressed, and on the point of
drawing up the curtain. The actors and actresses to
whom Laura introduced me, fell upon me without mercy.
The men were quite troublesome with their greetings; and
the women, not to be outdone, laid their plastered faces

52 History of Gil Bias

alongside of mine, till they covered it with a villanous
compound of red and white. No one choosing to be the last
in making me welcome, they all paid their compliments
in a breath, ^olus himself, answering from all the points
of the compass at once, would not have been a match for
them: but my sister was; for the loan of her tongue was
always at the service of a friend, and she brought me
completely out of debt.

But I did not get clear off with the squeezes of the prin-
cipal performers. The civilities of the scene-painters, the
band, the prompter, the candle-snuffer, and the call-boy
were to be endured with patience; all the understrappers
in the theatre came to see me run the gauntlet. One would
have supposed one's self in a foundling hospital, and that
they had none of them ever known what sort of animals
brothers and sisters were.

In the mean time the play began. Some gentlemen who
were behind the scenes, then ran to get seats in the front of
the house; for my part, feeUng myself quite at home, I
continued in conversation with those of the actors who were
waiting to go on. Among the number there was one whom
they called Melchior. The name struck me. I looked hard
at the person who answered to it, and thought I had seen
him somewhere. At last I recollected that it was Melchior
Zapata, a poor strolling player, who has been described
in the first volume of this true history, as soaking his crusts
in the pure element.

I immediately took him aside, and said : I am much mis-
taken if you are not that Signor Melchior with whom I had
the honour of breakfasting one day by the margin of a clear
fountain, between Valladolid and Segovia. I was with a
journeyman barber. We had some provisions with us
which we clubbed with yours, and all three partook of a
little rural feast, to which wit and anecdote gave additional
relish. Zapata bethought him for a minute or two, and then
answered: You tell me of a circumstance which often since
came across my mind. I had then just been trying my
fortune at Madrid, and was returning to Zamora. I re-
collect perfectly that my affairs were a Httle out at elbows.
I recollect it too, replied I, by the token of a doublet which
you wore, lined with play-bills. Neither have I forgotten
that you complained of having a wife cursed with in-

An Extraordinary Companion 5 3

corruptible chastity. Oh! that misfortune has found its
remedy long ago, said Zapata, shaking his ears. By all
the powers of womanhood, the jade has effectually reformed
that virtue, and given me a warmer lining to my doublet.

I was going to congratulate him on his wife's having shewn
so much sense, when he was obliged to leave me and go on
the stage. Being curious to know what sort of an animal
his wife was, I went up to an actor and desired him to point
her out. He did so, saying at the same time: There she
is, it is Narcissa; the prettiest of all our women except
your sister. I concluded that this must be the actress
in whose favour the Marquis de Marialva had declared be-
fore meeting with his Estella; and my conjecture was but
too correct. After the play I attended Laura home, where
I saw several cooks preparing a handsome entertainment.
You may sup here, said she. I will do no such thing,
answered I ; the marquis perhaps will like to be alone with
you. Not at all, replied she; he is coming with two of his
own friends and one of our gentlemen; you will just make
the sixth. You know that in our free and easy way there
is no impropriety in secretaries sitting down at table with
their masters. Very true, said I : but it is rather too soon to
assume the privilege of a favourite. I must first get em-
ployed in some confidential commission, and then lay in my
claim to that honourable distinction. Judging it to be so
best, I went out of Laura's house, and got back to my inn,
whither I reckoned on repairing every day, since my master
had no regular establishment.

CHAPTER IX

AN EXTRAORDINARY COMPANION AT SUPPER; AND AN AC-
COUNT OF THEIR CONVERSATION

I REMARKED in the coffee-room a sort of an old monk,
habited in coarse grey cloth, at supper quite alone in a
comer. I went and sat opposite to him out of curiosity ; we
exchanged a civil bow, and he showed himself to be quite
as well bred as I was, notwithstanding my lay education. My
commons were brought me, and I fell to with a very catholic
appetite. While I was eating, my tongue was mute, but

54 History of Gil Bias

my eyes glanced by snatches towards this singular char-
acter, and always caught his at the same employment.
Liking better to stare than be stared at, I addressed my
speech to him thus: Pray, father, have we ever by any
chance met anywhere but here ? You peer at me as if you
scarcely knew whether I was an acquaintance or a stranger.
He answered gravely: If I look at you with fixed attention,
it is only to admire the prodigious variety of adventures
which are chronicled in the features of your face. It should
seem, said I in a joking tone, as if your reverence was some-
thing of a physiognomist. Far more deeply imbued in
science than a mere physiognomist, answered the monk, I
found prophecies on my observations which have never been
belied by the event. My skill in palmistry is no less, and
I will set my oracles against the surest of antiquity, after
comparing the inspection of the hand with that of the face.

Though this old man had aU the appearance of profound
wisdom, his talk was so like that of a madman, that I could
not help laughing at him out-right. So far from being
offended at my want of manners, he smiled at it, and went on
to the following effect, after running his eye round the coffee-
room, to be assured that there were no listeners: I am not
surprised at finding you so prejudiced against two sciences
which pass at this time of day for mere frivolity; the long
and painful study they require disheartens the learned,
who turn their backs upon them, and then swear that they
are fables out of disgust at having missed their attainment.
For my part, I am not to be frightened by the darkness
which envelops them, any more than by the difficulties
which are perpetual stumbling-blocks in the pursuit of
chemical discoveries, and in the marvellous art of trans-
muting baser metals into gold.

But I do flatter myself, pursued he, looking steadfastly
at me, that I am addressing a young gentleman of good
sense, to whom my systems wiU not appear altogether in the
light of idle dreams. A sample of my skill will dispose
you better than the most subtle arguments to pass a
favourable judgment on my pretensions. After talking
in this manner he drew from his pocket a phial fuU of a
lively-looking red liquor, on which he expatiated thus:
Here is an elixir which I have distilled this morning from
the juices of certain plants; for I have employed almost my

An Extraordinary Companion 55

whole life, like Democritus, in finding out the properties
of simples and minerals. You shall make trial of its virtue.
The wine we are drinking with our supper is very bad;
henceforth it will become excellent. At the same time
he put two drops of his ehxir into my bottle, which made
my wine more delicious than the choicest vintages of Spain.

The marvellous strikes the imagination; and when once
that faculty is enlisted, judgment is turned adrift. De-
lighted with so glorious a secret, and persuaded that he
must have out-deviled the devil before he could have got
at it, I cried out in a paroxysm of admiration: O reverend
father ! pry thee forgive your servant if he took you at first
for an old blockhead. I now abjure my error. There is
no need to look further to be assured that it depends only
on your own will to turn an iron bar into a wedge of gold in
the twinkhng of an eye. How happy should I be were I
master of that admirable science! Heaven preserve you
from ever acquiring it, interrupted the old man with a deep
sigh. You know not, my son, what a fatal possession you
covet. Instead of envying, rather pity me, for having
taken such infinite pains to be made unhappy. I am always
disturbed in mind. I fear a discovery ; and then perpetual
imprisonment would be the reward of all my labours. In
this apprehension I lead a vagabond life, sometimes dis-
guised as a priest or monk, sometimes as a gentleman or
a peasant. Where is the benefit of knowing how to manu-
facture gold on such terms? Are not the goods of this
world downright misery to those who cannot enjoy them in
tranquilUty ?

What you say appears to me very sensible, said I to the
philosopher. There is nothing like living at one's ease.
You have rid me of all hankering after the philosopher's
stone. I will rest satisfied with learning from you my
future destiny. With all my heart, my good lad, answered
he. I have already made my remarks upon your features ;
now let me see your hand. I gave it him with a confidence
which will do my penetration but little credit in the esteem
of some readers. He examined it very attentively, and then
pronounced, as in a rapture of inspiration: Ah! what
transitions from pain to pleasure, and from pleasure to
pain! What a whimsical alternation of good and evil
chances! But you have already experienced the largest

56 History of Gil Bias

share of your allotted reverses. You have but few more
tides of misfortune to stem, and then a great lord will con-
trive for you an eUgible fate, which shall not be subject to
change.

After having assured me that I might depend on his pre-
diction, he bade me farewell and went out of the inn,
leaving me in deep meditation on the things I had just
heard. There could be no doubt of the Marquis de Marialva
being the great lord in question ; and consequently nothing
appeared more within the verge of possibility than the
accomplishment of the oracle. But though there had not
been the slightest hkelihood, that would have been no
hindrance to giving the impostor monk unbounded credit,
since his elixir had transmuted my sour incredulity into
the most tractable digestion of his falsehoods. That no-
thing might be wanting on my side to play into the hands of
my foreboded luck, I determined to attach myself more
closely to the marquis than I had ever done to any of my
masters. Having taken this resolution, I went home in
unusually high spirits ; never did foolish woman descend in
better humour from the garret of another foohsh woman
who had told her fortune.

CHAPTER X

THE MARQUIS DE MARIALVA GIVES A COMMISSION TO GIL
BLAS. THAT FAITHFUL SECRETARY ACQUITS HIMSELF
OF IT AS SHALL BE RELATED

The marquis was not yet returned from his theatrical
party, and I found his upper servants playing at cards in his
apartment while they were waiting for his arrival. I got
to be sociable with them; and we amused ourselves with
jocular conversation till two o'clock in the morning, when
our master arrived. He was a little surprised at seeing me,
and said with an air of kindness which made me conclude
that he came home very well satisfied with his evening:
How is this, Gil Bias ? Are you not gone to bed yet ? I
answered that I wished to know first whether he had any
commands for me. Probably, replied he, I may have
a commission to give you to-morrow morning; but it will

Marquis de Marialva's Secretary ■ 57

be time enough then to acquaint you with my wishes. Go
to your own room; and henceforward remember that I
dispense with your attendance at bed-time; my other
servants are sufficient for that occasion.

After this hint, which was much to my satisfaction in the
main, since it spared me a slavery which I should have felt
very unpleasantly at times, I left the marquis in his apart-
ment, and withd-rew to my garret. I went to bed. Not
being able to sleep, it seemed good to follow the counsel of
Pythagoras, and to examine all the actions of the day by
the test of reason; to reprimand severely what had been
done amiss, and if anything had been done well, to rejoice
in it.

On looking into the day-book of my conscience, the bal-
ance was not sufficiently in my favour to keep me in
good humour with myself. I felt remorse at having lent
myself to Laura's imposition. It was in vain to urge, in
self-defence, that I could not, with any decency, give the
lie to a girl who had no object in view but to do me a pleasure,
and that I was in some sort under the necessity of becoming
an accomplice in the fraud. This* was a paltry excuse in
the darkness of the night, for I pleaded against myself
that at all events the matter should be pushed no further,
and that it was the summit of impudence to remain upon
the establishment of a nobleman whose confidence I so ill
repaid. In short, after a severe trial, it was agreed in my
own breast, that I was very little short of an arrant knave.

But to have done with the morality of the act, and pass on
to the probable issue, it was evidently playing a desperate
game, to cozen a man of consequence who might be enabled,
as an instrument for the visitation of my sins perhaps,
to detect the imposture in its very infancy. A reflection at
once so prudent and so virtuous acted as a refrigerator on
my spirits; but visions of pleasure and of interest soon
raised them again above the freezing point. Besides, the
prophecy of the man with the elixir would have been
enough to put me in heart once more. I therefore gave
myself up to the indulgence of the most agreeable fancies.
All the rules of arithmetic, from simple addition to com-
pound interest were set in array, to cast up what sum my
salary would amount to at the end of ten years' service.
Then there was a large allowance for presents and gratuities

58 History of Gil Bias

from my master, whose liberal disposition according ad-
mirably with my liberal desires, my imagination grew quite
fantastical, and extended the landmarks of my fortune over
innumerable'-acres of unsubstantial territory. Sleep over-
took me in the calculation, and raised a magnificent aerial
mansion on the estate where a new race of grandees was to
originate.

I got up next morning about eight o'clock to go and
receive my patron's orders; but as I was opening my door
to go out, what was my surprise at meeting him in his
wrapping-gown and night-cap. He was quite alone. Gil
Bias, said he, on parting with your sister last night, I pro-
mised to pass this morning with her; but an affair of con-
sequence will not admit of my keeping my word. Go and
assure her from me that I am deeply mortified at the dis-
appointment, but that I shall certainly sup with her to-
night. That is not all, added he, putting a purse into my
hands and a little shagreen case set round with diamonds;
carry her my portrait, and keep this purse of fifty pistoles,
which I give you as a mark of my early-conceived friend-
ship. I took the picture in one hand, and in the other the
purse, to which I was so little entitled. I put my best leg
foremost in my way to Laura, muttering to myself in the
transports of excessive joy: Good! the prophecy is accom-
plished in the twinkling of an eye. What a windfall to
be the brother of a girl so full of beauty and attraction!
It is a pity the credit attached to the relationship is not
commensurate with the lucre and the comfort.

Laura, unlike most women in her profession, had a habit
of early rising. I caught her at her toilette, where, while
waiting for her illustrious foreigner, she was engrafting on
her natural beauty all the adventitious charms which the
cosmetic art could supply. Lovely Estella, said I, on
accosting her, thou absolute loadstone of the tramontanes,
I may now sit down at table with my master, since he has
honoured me with a commission which gives me that pre-
rogative, and which I am just come to fulfil. He cannot
have the pleasure of waiting on you this morning, as he had
purposed ; but to make you amends for the disappointment,
he will sup here this evening, and sends you his picture;
which to all appearance is enclosed in something more
valuable than itself.

Marquis de Marialva's Secretary 59

I put the box into her hand at once; and the lively
sparkling of the brilliants which encompassed it made her
eyes sparkle and her mouth water. She opened it out of
mere curiosity, looked carelessly at the painting as people
perform a duty for which they have little relish, then shut it,
and once more fell greedily on the jewellery. Their beauty
made her eloquent; and she said to me with the smile of
a satirist — These are copies which those mercenary things
called actresses value much more highly than originals.

I next acquainted her that the generous Portuguese,
when giving me charge of the portrait, recommended it to
my care by a purse of fifty pistoles. I beg you will accept
of my congratulations, said she; this nobleman begins where
it is even uncommon for others to leave off. It is to you,
my di\dne creature, answered I, that this present is owing;
the marquis only made it on the score of natural affection.
I could be well pleased, replied she, that he were to make
you a score such presents every day. I cannot express
in what extravagance you are dear to me. From the first
moment of our meeting, I became attached to you by so
strong a tie, as time has not been able to dissolve. When
I lost you at Madrid, I did not despair of finding you again ;
and yesterday, on your sudden appearance, I received you
like a deodand. In a word, my friend, heaven has created
us for one another. You shall be my husband, but we
must get plenty of money in the first instance. I shall just
lend myself out to three or four silly fellows more, and then
you may live like a gentleman on your means.

I thanked her in the most appropriate terms for such an
instance of extreme condescension on my behalf, and we
got insensibly into a conversation which lasted tiU noon.
At that hour I withdrew, to go and give my master an
account of the manner in which his present was received.
Though Laura had given me no instructions thereupon, I
was not remiss in composing a fine compliment on my way,
with which I meant to launch out on her part; but it was
just so much flash in the pan. For, when I got home the
marquis was gone out; and the fates had decreed that I
should never see him more, for reasons which will be
methodically stated in the succeeding chapter.

6o History of Gil Bias

CHAPTER XI

A THUNDERBOLT TO GIL BLAS

I REPAIRED to my inn, where meeting with two men of
companionable talents, I dined and sat at table with them
till the play began. We parted ; they as their business and
desire pointed them; and, for my own part, my bent was
towards the theatre. It may be proper to observe by the
way, that I had all possible reason to be in a good humour.
The conversation with my chance companions had been
joyous in the extreme ; the colour of my fortune was gay and
animating; yet for all that I could not help giving way to
melancholy, without either knowing why, or being able
to reason myself out of it. It was doubtless a prophetic
warning of the misfortune which threatened me.

As I entered the green-room, Melchior Zapata came up,
and told me in a low voice to follow him. He led me to an
unfrequented part of the house, and opened his business
thus — Worthy sir, I make it a point of conscience to give
you a very serious warning. You are aware that the
Marquis de Marialva had at first taken a fancy to Narcissa,
my wife ; he had even gone so far as to fix a day for trying
the relish of my rib, when that cockatrice Estella con-
trived to flyblow the bill of fare, and transfer the banquet
to her own untainted charms. Judge then, whether an
actress can be gulled instead of gulling, and preserve the
sweetness of her temper. My wife has taken it deeply to
heart, and there is no species of revenge to which she
would not have recourse. A fine opportunity has offered,
yesterday, if you recollect, aU our supernumeraries were
crowding together to see you. The deputy candle-snuffer
told some of the inferior comedians that he recollected you
perfectly well, and that you might be anything but Estella's
brother.

This report, added Melchior, came to Narcissa's ears to-
day: she lost no time in questioning the author; and that
grub of the inferior stood to the whole story. He says that
he knew you as Arsenia's servant, when Estella waited on
her at Madrid under the name of Laura. My wife, full
of glee at this discovery, means to acquaint the Marquis

A Thunderbolt to Gil Bias 6r

de Marialva with it, when he comes to the play this evening ;
so take your measures accordingly. If you are not Estella's
brother in good earnest, I would advise you as a friend,
and on the score of old acquaintance, to make your escape
while your skin is whole. Narcissa, satisfied in her tender
mercy with only one victim, and that of her own sex,
has allowed me to give you this notice, that you may out-
run your ill luck.

It would have been waste of words to press the subject
farther. I returned thanks for the caution to this fretter
of his hour, who saw by my terrified aspect that I was not the
man to give the deputy candle-snuffer the lie. I did not
feel the least temptation to carry my dangerous valour such
a length. I had not even the heart to go and bid farewell
to Laura, for fear she should insist on me keeping up the
farce. I could easily conceive that so excellent an actress
might get out of the scrape with flying colours; but there
seemed to be nothing for me short of a swinging castigation;
and I was not so far gone in love as to stand by my sweet-
heart at the risk of my own person. I thought of nothing
but a precipitate retreat with my hbusehold gods, or rather
goods, if such a trumpery collection of individual property
might be called so. I disappeared from the playhouse in the
twinkling of an eye, and in less time than it would have
taken to confess my sins, was my portmanteau carried off
and safely lodged with a muleteer who was to set out for
Toledo at three o'clock next morning. I could have wished
myself already with the Count de Polan, whose hospitable
roof seemed my only safe asylum. But I was not there
yet; and it was impossible to think without dread of the
time remaining to be passed in a town where I was afraid
they would hunt me out without giving me a night's law.

The smell of supper drew me to my inn notwithstanding ;
though I was as uneasy as a debtor who knows that a writ
is out against him. My stomach, I believe, was not suffi-
ciently well knit that evening for my supper to play its part
as it should do. The miserable sport of fear, I watched all
the people who came into the coffee-room, and whenever
by chance they carried a gallows in their physiognomy,,
which is no uncommon ensign in such places of resort, I
shuddered with horrid forebodings. After having supped
the supper of the damned, I got up from table and returned

62 History of Gil Bias

to my carrier's house, where I threw myself on some clean
straw till it was time to set out.

My patience was well tried during that interval; for a
thousand unpleasant thoughts attacked me in all directions.
If I dozed now and then, the enraged marquis stood before
me, pounding Laura's fair face to a jelly with his fist,
and turning her whole house out at window; or to come
nearer home, I heard him giving directions for my death
under the operation of a cudgel. At such a vision I started
out of my sleep, and waking, which is usually so pleasant
after a frightful dream, inspired me with more horror than
even the fictions of my entranced fancy.

Happily the muleteer delivered me from so dire a pur-
gatory, by coming to acquaint me that his mules were
ready. I was immediately on my legs, and set out radi-
cally cured, for which heaven has my best thanks, of Laura
and the occult sciences. As we got farther from Grenada,
my mind recovered its tone. I began chatting with the
muleteer^ laughed at his droll stories, and insensibly lost
all my apprehensions. I slept undisturbed at Ubeda, where
we lay the first night, and on the fourth day we got to
Toledo. My first care was to inform myself of the Count
de Polan's residence, whither I repaired under the full
persuasion that he would not suffer me to lodge elsewhere.
But I reckoned without my host. There was no one at
home but a person to take care of the house, who told me
that his master was just gone to the castle of Ley va, having
been sent for on account of Seraphina's dangerous illness.

The count's absence was altogether unexpected: here
was no longer any inducement to stay at Toledo, and all
my plans were changed at once. Finding myself so near
Madrid, I resolved to go thither. It came into my head
that I might make my way at court, where talents of the
first order, as I had heard, were not absolutely necessary
to fill situations of the first consequence. On the very next
morning I took advantage of back carriage, to be set down
in the renowned capital of Spain. Fortune took me kindly
by the hand, and introduced me to a higher cast of parts
than those I had hitherto filled.

Gil Bias takes Ready-furnished Lodgings 63

CHAPTER XII

GIL BLAS TAKES LODGINGS IN A READY-FURNISHED HOUSE.
HE GETS ACQUAINTED WITH CAPTAIN CHINCHILLA. THAT
officer's character and BUSINESS AT MADRID

On my first arrival at Madrid, I fixed my head-quarters irt
a lodging-house, where resided, among other persons, .an old
captain, who was come from the distant part of New
Castile, to solicit a pension at court, and he thought his
claims but too well founded. His name was Don Annibal
de Chinchilla. It was not without much staring that I
saw him for the first time. He was a man about sixty, of
gigantic stature, and of anatomical leanness. His whiskers
were Uke brushwood, fencing off the two sides of his face as
high as his temples. Besides that, he was short in his
reckoning by an arm and a leg, there was a vacancy for an
eye, which Polypheme would have supplied as he did, had
patches of green silk been then in the fashion; and his
features were hacked sufficiently "to illustrate a treatise
of geometry. With these exceptions, his configuration was
much like that of another man. As to his mental qualities,
he was not altogether without understanding; and what
he wanted in quickness he made up by gravity. His prin-
ciples were rigid in the extreme; and it was his particular
boast to be delicate on the point of honour.

After two or three interviews, he distinguished me by his
confidence. I soon got into all his personal history: he
related on what occasions he had left an eye at Naples,
an arm in Lombardy, and a leg in the Low Countries. The
most admirable circumstance in all his narratives of battles
and sieges, was, that not a single feature of the swaggerer
peeped out; not a word escaped him to his own honour
and glory; though one could readily have forgiven him for
making some httle display of the half which was still
extant of himself, as a set-off against the dilapidations
which had deducted so largely from the usual contexture
of a man. Officers who return from their campaigns without
a scratch upon their skin or a love-lock out of place, are
not always so humble in their pretensions.

But he told me that what gave him most uneasiness

J4 History of Gil Bias

was, the having wasted a considerable portion of his pri-
vate fortune on military objects, so that he had not more
than a hundred ducats a year left; a poor establishment
for such a pair of whiskers, a gentleman's lodging, and an
amanuensis to multiply memorials by wholesale. For in
point of fact, my worthy friend, added he, shrugging his
shoulders, I present one, with a blessing on my endea-
vours, every day, and the last meets with the same atten-
tion as the first. You would say that it was an even bet
between the prime minister and me, which of us two shall
be tired first ; the memorialist or the receiver of the memo-
rials. I have often had the honour, too, of addressing the
king on the same subject; but the rector and his curate
say grace in the same key ; and in the mean time, my castle
of Chinchilla is falling to ruin for want of necessary re-
pairs.

Faint heart never won fair lady, said I most wisely to
the captain ; you are perhaps on the eve of finding all your
marches and countermarches repaid with usury. I must
not flatter myself with that pleasing expectation, an-
swered Don Annibal. It is but three days since I spoke
to one of the minister's secretaries; and if I am to trust
his representations, I have only to hold up my head and
look big. What then did he say to you ? replied I. Had
those poor dumb mouths your wounds no eloquence, to
wring a hireling pittance for their profuse expense of
blood? You shall judge for yourself, resumed Chinchilla.
This secretary told me in good plain terms: My honest
friend, you need not boast so much of your zeal and your
fidelity; you have only done your duty in exposing yourself
to danger for your country. Naked glory is the true and
honourable recompense of gallant actions, and as such is
the prize at which a Spaniard aims. You therefore argue
on false principles, if you consider the bounty you solicit
as a debt. In case it should be granted, you will owe that
favour exclusively to the royal goodness, which in its ex-
treme condescension requites those of its subjects who
have served the state valiantly. Thus you see, pursued
the captain, that if I had a hundred lives they are all
pledged, and that I am likely to go back as hungry as I
came.

A brave man in distress is the most touching object in

IK^

Gil Bias takes Ready-furnished Lodgings 65

s world. I exhorted him to stick close, and offered to
write his memorials out fair for nothing. I even went so
far as to open my purse to him, and to beg it as a favour
that he would draw upon me for whatever he wanted.
But he was not one of those folks who never wait to be
asked twice on such occasions. So much the reverse, that
with a commendable delicacy on the subject, he thanked
me for my kindness, but refused it peremptorily. He after-
wards told me that, for fear of spunging upon any one, he
had accustomed himself, by Httle and little, to Uve with
such sobriety, that the smallest quantity of food was suf-
ficient for his subsistence; which was but too true. His
daily fare was confined to vegetables, by dint whereof his
component parts were confined to skin and bone. That
he might have no witnesses how ill he dined, he usually
shut himself up in his chamber at that meal. I prevailed
so far with him, however, by repeated entreaties, as to
obtain that we should dine and sup together: then, under-
mining his pride by little indirect artifices of compassion,
I ordered more provision and wine than I could consume
to my own share. I pressed him to eat and drink. At
first he made difficulties about it; but in the end there
was no resisting my hospitality. After a time, his modesty
becoming fainter as his diet was more flush, he helped me
ofi with my dinner and hghtened my bottle almost with-
out asking.

One day, after four or five glasses, when his stomach had
renewed its intimacy with a more generous system of
feeding, he said to me with an air of gaiety: Upon my
word, Signor Gil Bias, you have very winning ways with
you; you make me do just whatever you please. There
is something so hearty in your welcome as to reheve me
from all fear of trespassing on your generous temper. My
captain seemed at that moment so entirely to have got rid
of his bashfulness, that if I had been in the humour to
have seized the lucky moment, and to have pressed my
purse once more on his acceptance, I am much mistaken
if he would have refused it. I did not put him to the
trial; but rested satisfied with having made him my mess-
mate, and taken the trouble not only to copy out his
memorials, but to assist him in their composition. By
dint of having written homilies out fair, I had learnt the

II D

66 History of Gil Bias

knack of phraseology, and was become a sort of author.
The old officer on his side had some little vanity about
writing well. Both of us thus contending for the prize,
the bursts of eloquence would have done honour to the
most celebrated professors of Salamanca. But it was in
vain that we sat on opposite sides of the table, and drained
our genius to the very dregs, to nourish the flowers of
rhetoric in these memorials; you might as well have planted
an orange-grove on the sea-beach. In whatever new light
we placed Don Annibal's services, it was all the same at
court, the connoisseurs were decided about their merit; so
that the battered veteran had no reason to sing the praises
of that spirit which leads officers on to spend their family
estates in the service. In the virulence of his spleen he
cursed the planet under which he was bom, and sent
Naples, Lombardy, and the Low Countries to the
devil.

That his mortification might be pressed down and run-
ning over, it happened to his face one day that a poet, intro-
duced by the Duke of Alva, having recited a sonnet before
the king on the birth of an infanta, was gratified with a
pension of five hundred ducats. I believe the lop-hmbed
captain would have gone raving mad at it, if I had not
taken some pains to recompense his spirit. What is the
matter with you ? said I, seeing him quite beside himself.
There is nothing in all this which ought to go so terribly
against the grain. Ever since Mount Parnassus swelled
above the subject plain, have not poets pleaded the privi-
lege of laying princes under contribution to their muse ?
There is not a crowned head in Christendom that has not
substituted a pensioned laureate for the household fool
of less refined times. And between ourselves, this species
of patronage, for the most part galloping down full drive
to posterity on the saddle of Pegasus, raises a hue and cry
in honour of royal munificence; but bounty to persons
who are lost in the crowd, however deserving, adds nothing
to the bulk or stature of posthumous renown. Augustus
must have drained his treasury by gratuities, and yet
how few of the names on his pension-list have come down
to us! But distant ages shall be informed, as we are, in
aU the hyperbole of poetic diction, that his benefits
descended on Virgil like the rain from heaven, whose drops

Gil Bias takes Ready-furnished Lodgings 67

arithmetic has no combinations to count, no principles by
which to reason on their number.

But let me talk ever so classically to Don Annibal, there
was a confounded acidity in that sonnet which curdled
all the milky ingredients of his moral composition; it was
impossible to chew, swallow, and digest such food with
human organs; and he was fully determined to give the
matter up at once. It seemed right, nevertheless, by way
of playing for his last stake, to present one more memorial
to the Duke of Lerma, and if that failed there was an end
of the game. For this purpose we went together to the
prime minister's. There we met a young man who, after
saluting the captain, said to him in a tone of affection:
My old and dear master, is it your own self that I see?
What business brings you to this mart of favour ? If you
have occasion for any one to speak a good word for you,
do not spare my lungs; they are entirely at your service.
How is this, Pedrillo ? answered the officer; to hear you
talk it should seem as if you held some important post in
this house. At least, replied the young man, I have
influence enough here to put an honest rustic like you
into the right train. That being the case, resumed the cap-
tain with a smile, I place myself under your protection.
I accept the pledge, rejoined Pedrillo. You have only to
acquaint me with your particular taste, and I engage to
give you a savoury shce out of the ministerial pasty.

We had no sooner opened our minds to this young
fellow, so full of kind assurances, than he inquired where
Don Annibal resided; then, promising that we should hear
from him on the following day, he vanished without inform-
ing us what he meant to do, or even telling us whether he
belonged to the Duke of Lerma's household. I was curious
to know what this Pedrillo was, whose turn of mind ap-
peared to be so brisk and active. He is a brave lad, said
the captain, who waited on me some years ago, but find-
ing me out at elbows, went away in search of a better ser-
vice. There was no offence to me in aU that; it is very
natural to change when one cannot be worse off. The
creature is pleasant enough, not deficient in parts, and
happy in a spirit of intrigue which would wheedle with
the devil. But notwithstanding all his fine pretence, I
am not sanguine in my reckoning on the zeal he has just

68 History of Gil Bias

testified for me. Perhaps, said I, there may be some
plausibiHty in his designs. Should he be a retainer, for
example, to any of the duke's principal officers, it will be
in his power to serve you. You have hved too long in
the world not to know that in great houses everything is
done by party and cabal; that the masters are governed
by two or three upper servants about their persons, who,
in their turn, are governed by that multitude of menials
attendant upon them.

On the next morning we saw Pedrillo at our breakfast
table. Gentlemen, said he, if I did not explain myself
yesterday as to my means of serving Captain Chinchilla,
it was because we were not in a place where such a com-
munication could be made with safety. Besides, I was
disposed to ascertain whether the thing was feasible, before
you were made parties in it. Understand, then, that I
am the confidential servant of Signor Don Rodrigo de
Calderona, the Duke of Lerma's first secretary. My
master, who is much addicted to women, goes almost
every evening to sup with a little Arragonian nightingale,
whom he keeps in a cage near the purlieus of the court. She
is quite a young girl from Albarazin, a most lovely crea-
ture. She has some wit as well as beauty, and sings
enchantingly; they call her the Spanish Sjren. I am the
bearer of some tender inquiries every morning, and am
just come from her. I have proposed to her to pass off
Signor Don Annibal for her uncle, and the object of the forgery
is to engage her lover in his interests. She is very willing
to lend her aid in the business. Besides some little com-
mission to which she looks forward on the profits, it will
tickle her vanity to be taken for the niece of a military
man.

Signor de Chinchilla looked very grim at this sugges-
tion. He declared his extreme abhorrence of becoming
a party concerned in a mere swindling trick, and still more
of adopting a female adventurer, no better than she should
be, into his family, and thus casting a stain upon its imma-
culate purity. It was not only for himself that he felt
all this soreness; there was a recoil of ignominy on his
ancestors, which would lay their honours level with the
dust. This morbid delicacy seemed out of season to
Pedrillo, who could not help expressing his contempt of

Gil Bias takes Ready-furnished Lodgings 69

it thus. • You must surely be out of your wits to take the
matter up on that footing. A fine market you bring your
morals to, you dictators from the plough, with your ridi-
culous squeamishness ! Now you seem a good sensible
man, appealing to me as he spoke these last words. Can
you beHeve your ears when you hear such scruples ad-
vanced ? Heaven defend us ! At court, of all the places in
the world, to look at morals through a microscope! Let
fortune come under what haggard form she may, they hug
her in their arms, and swear she is a beauty.

My way of thinking was precisely with Pedrillo; and
we dinned it so stoutly into both the captain's ears, as to
make him the Spanish Syren's uncle against nature and
incUnation. When we had so far prevailed over his pride,
we all three set about drawing up a new memorial for the
minister, which was revised, with a copious interlacing
of additions and corrections. I then wrote it out fair,
and Pedrillo carried it to the Arragonian chauntress, who
that very evening put it into the hands of Signor Don
Rodrigo, telling her story so artlessly that the secretary,
really supposing her the captain's niece, promised to take
up his case. A few days afterwards we reaped the fruits
of our little project. Pedrillo came back to our house with
the lofty air of a benefactor. Good news, said he to Chin-
chilla. The king is going to make a new grant of officers,
places, and pensions; nor will your name be forgotten in
the list. But I am specially commissioned to inquire what
present you purpose making to the Spanish Syren, for the
piper must be paid. As to myself, I vow and protest that
I will not take a farthing; the pleasure of having contri-
buted to patch up my old master's broken fortunes, is
more to me than all the ingots of the Indies. But it is not
precisely so with our nymph of Albarazin: she has a Uttle
Jewish blood to plead, when the Christian precept of
loving your neighbour as herself is preached up to her.
She would pick her own natural father's pocket; so judge
you whether she would be above making a bargain with a
travelling uncle.

She has only to name her own terms, answered Don
Annibal. Whatever my pension may be, she shall have
the third of it annually if she pleases; I wiU pledge my
word for it; and that proportion ought to satisfy her

70 History of Gil Bias

craving, if his Catholic Majesty had settled his whole
exchequer on me. I would as soon take your word as
your bond, for my own part, replied the nimble-footed
messenger of Don Rodrigo; I know that it will stand the
assay; but you have to deal with a little creature who
knows herself, and naturally supposes that she knows
all the rest of the world by the same token. Besides, she
would like better to take it in the lump; two-thirds to be
paid down now in ready money. Why, how the devil
does she mean that I should get the wherewithal ? bawled
the captain in a quandary. Does she take me for an
auditor of public accounts, or treasurer to a charity ? You
cannot have made her acquainted with my circumstances.
Yes, but I have, replied Pedrillo; she knows very well
that you are poorer than Job; after what she has heard
from me she could think no otherwise. But do not make
yourself uneasy, my brain is never at a loss for an expedient.
I know an old scoundrel of an usurer, who will take ten per
cent, if he can get no more. You must assign your first
year's pension to him, in acknowledgment for a like valu-
able consideration from him, which you will in point of
fact receive, only deducting the above-mentioned interest.
As to security, the lender will take your castle at Chinchilla,
for want of better; there will be no dispute about that.

The captain declared his readiness to accept the terms,
in case of his being so fortunate as to possess any bene-
ficial interest in the good things to be given away the next
morning. It happened accordingly. He got a government
with a pension of three hundred pistoles. As soon as the
news came, he signed and sealed as required, settled his
little concerns in town, and went off again for New Castile
with a balance of some few pistoles in his favour.

Gil Bias again meets Fabricio 71

CHAPTER XIII

X^

GIL BLAS COMES ACROSS HIS DEAR FRIEND FABRICIO AT
COURT. GREAT ECSTASY ON BOTH SIDES. THEY AD-
JOURN TOGETHER, AND COMPARE NOTES; BUT THEIR
CONVERSATION IS TOO CURIOUS TO BE ANTICIPATED

I HAD contracted a habit of going to the royal palace
every morning, where I lounged away two or three good
hours in seeing the good people pass to and fro; but their
aspect was less imposing there than in other places, as
the lesser stars turn pale in the presence of the sun.

One day as I was walking back and fore, and strutting
about the apartments, making about as wise a figure there
as my neighbours, I spied out Fabricio, whom I had left
at Valladohd in the service of a hospital director. It
surprised me not a little that he was chatting famiUarly
with the Duke of Medina Sidojiia and the Marquis of
Santa Cruz. Those two noblemen, if my senses did not
deceive me, were listening with admiration to his prattle.
To crown the whole, he was as handsomely dressed as a
grandee.

Surely I must be mistaken! thought I. Can this pos-
sibly be the son of Nunez the barber? More likely it is some
young courtier who bears a strong resemblance to him.
But my suspense was of no long duration. The party
broke up, and I accosted Fabricio. He knew me at once ;
took me by the hand, and after pressing through the
crowd to get out of the precincts, said with a hearty greet-
ing. My dear Gil Bias, I am delighted to see you again.
What are you doing at Madrid? Are you still at ser-
vice? Some place about the court perhaps? How do
matters stand with you? Let me into the history of all
that has happened to you since your precipitate flight
from Valladolid. You ask a great many questions in a
breath, repHed I; and we are not in a fit place for story-
telling. You are in the right, answered he; we shall be
better at home. Come, I wiU shew you the way; it is not
far hence. I am quite my own master, with all my com-
forts about me; perfectly easy as to the main chance, with

72 History of Gil Bias

a light heart and a happy temper ; because I am determined
to see everything on the bright side.

I accepted the proposal, and Fabricio escorted me. We
stopped at a house of magnificent appearance, where he told
me that he lived. There was a court to cross; on one side
it had a grand staircase leading to a suite of state apart-
ments, and on the other a small flight, dark and narrow,
whither we betook ourselves to a residence elevated in a
different sense from what he had boasted. It consisted of a
single room, which my contriving friend had divided into
four by deal partitions. The first served as an ante-
chamber to the second, where he lay: of the third he made
his closet, of the last his kitchen. The chamber and ante-
chamber were papered with maps, and many a sheet of
philosophical discussion; nor was the furniture by any
means unsuitable to the hangings. There was a large bro-
cade bed much the worse for wear; tawdry old chairs
with coarse yellow coverings, fringed with Grenada silk
of the same colour, a table with gilt feet, and a cloth over it
that once aspired to be red, bordered with tinsel and embroi-
dery tarnished by that old corroder, time; with an ebony
cabinet, ornamented with figures in a clumsy taste of
sculpture. Instead of a convenient desk, he had a small
table in his closet; and his library was made up with some
few books, and a great many bundles of paper arranged on
shelves one above the other the whole length of the wall.
His kitchen, too modest to put the rest of the establish-
ment out of countenance, exhibited a frugal assortment of
earthenware and other necessary implements of cookery.

Fabricio, when he had allowed me leisure to philosophize
on his domestic arrangements, begged to know my opinion
of his apartments and his housekeeping, and whether I
was not enchanted with them: Yes, beyond all manner of
doubt, answered I with a roguish smile. You must have
apphed your wits to a good purpose at Madrid, to have
got so weU accoutred. Of course you have some post.
Heaven preserve me from anything of the sort! rephed
he. My line of Ufe is far above all political situations. A
man of rank, to whom this house belongs, has given me a
room in it, whence I have contrived to piece out a suite of
four, fitted up in such taste as you may see. I devote my
time to no employments but what are just to my fancy,

Gil Bias again meets Fabricio 73

and never feel what it is to want. Explain yourself more
intelligibly, said I, interrupting him. You set me all agog
to be let into your Uttle arrangements. Well, then! said
he, I will rid you of that devil curiosity at once. I have
commenced author, have plunged headlong into the ocean
of hterature; verse and prose run equally glib; in short I
am a jack of all trades to the muses.

What! you bound in solemn league and covenant to
Apollo ? exclaimed I with most intolerable laughter.
Nothing under a prophet could ever have anticipated this. I
should have been less surprised at any other transforma-
tion. What possible dehghts have you had the ingenuity
to detect in the rugged landscape of Parnassus? It
should seem as if the labourers there have a very poor
taking in civil life, and feed on a coarse diet without sauce.
Out upon you! cried he, in dudgeon at the hint. You
are talking of those paltry authors, whose works and even
their persons are under the thumb of booksellers and
players. Is it any wonder that writers under such circum-
stances should be held cheap ? , But the good ones, my
friend, are on a better footing in the world; and I think
it may be affirmed, vanity apart, that my name is to be
found in their hst. Questionless, said I, talents hke yours
are convertible to every purpose; compositions from such
a pen are not hkely to be insipid. But I am on the rack to
know how this rage for fencing with inky weapons could
have seized thee.

Your wonder and alarm has mind in it, replied Nunez.
I was so well pleased with my situation in the service of
Signor Manuel Ordonnez that I had no hankering after
any other. But my genius, like that of Plautus, being
too high-minded to contract itself within the sphere of
menial occupations, I wrote a play and got it acted by a
company then performing at VaUadolid. Though it was
not worth the paper it was scrawled upon, it had more
success than many better pieces. Hence concluded I that
the public was a silly bird, and would hatch any eggs
that were put under it. That modest discovery, with the
consequent madness of incessant composition, alienated
my affections from the hospital. The love of poetry
being stronger than the desire of accumulation, I deter-
mined on repairing to Madrid, as the centre of every-

74 History of Gil Bias

thing distinguished, to form my taste in that school. The
first thing was to give the governor warning, who parted
with me to his own great sorrow, from a sort of affection
the result of similar propensities. Fabricio, said he, what
possible ground can you have for discontent? None at
all, sir, I replied; you are the best of all possible masters,
and I am deeply impressed with your kind treatment; but
you know one must follow whithersoever the stars ordain. I
feel the sacred fire within me, on whose aspiring element
my name is to be wafted to posterity. What confounded
nonsense! rejoined the old fellow, whose ideas were all
pecuniary. You are already become a fixture in the hos-
pital, and are made of a metal which may easily be manu-
factured into a steward, or by good-luck even into a
governor. You are going to give up the great object of
hfe, and to flutter about its frippery. So much the worse
for you, honest friend !

The governor, seeing how fruitless it was to struggle
with my fixed resolve, paid me my wages, and made me a
present of fifty ducats as an acknowledgment of my ser-
vices. Thus, between this supply and what I have been
able to scrape together out of some little commissions,
which were assigned to me from an opinion of my disin-
terestedness, I was in circumstances to make a very pretty
appearance on my arrival at Madrid; which I was not
negligent in doing, though the literary tribe in our country
are not over-punctilious about decency or cleanliness. I
soon got acquainted with Lope de Vega, Cervantes, and the
whole set of them; but though they were fine fellows, and
thought so by the public, I chose for my model in pre-
ference, Don Lewis de Gongora, the incomparable, a
young bachelor of Cordova, decidedly the first genius that
ever Spain produced. He will not suffer his works to be
printed during his life-time ; but confines himself to a private
communication among his friends. What is very remark-
able, nature has gifted him with the uncommon talent of
succeeding in every department of poetry. His principal
excellence is in satire; there he outshines himself. He
does not resemble, like Lucilius, a muddy stream with a
slimy bottom ; but is rather like the Tagus, roUing its
transparent waters over a golden sand.

You give a fine description of this bachelor, said I to

Gil Bias again meets Fabricio j^

Fabricio; and questionless a character of such merit must
have attracted an infinite deal of envy. The whole gang
of authors, answered he, good and bad equally, are open-
mouthed against him. He deals in bombast, says one; aims
at double meanings, luxuriates in metaphor, and affects
transposition. His verses, says another, have all the
obscurity of those which the Sahan priests used to chaunt
in their processions, and which nobody was the wiser for
hearing. There are others who impute it to him as a
fault, to have exercised his genius at one time in sonnets
or ballads, at another in play-writing, in heroic stanzas,
and in minor efforts of wit alternately, as if he had madly
taken upon himself to ecHpse the best writers each in their
own favourite walk. But all these thrusts of jealousy are
uccessfully parried, where the muse, which is their mark,
ecomes the idol of the great and of the multitude at once.

Under so able a master did I serve my apprenticeship ;
and, vanity apart, the preceptor was reflected in the
disciple. So happily did I catch his spirit, that by this
time he would not be ashamed to own some of my detached
pieces. After his example, I carry my goods to market
at great houses where the bidding is eager, and the saga-
city of the bidders not difficult to match. It is true that I
have a very insinuating talent at recitation ; which places
my compositions in no disadvantageous light. In short,
I am the dear delight of the nobility, and live in the most
particular intimacy with the Duke of Medina Sidonia, just
as Horace used to live with his jolly companion Mecenas.
By such conjuration and mighty magic have I won the
name of author. You see the method lies within a narrow
compass. Now, Gil Bias, it is your turn to deliver a round
unvarnished tale of your exploits.

On this hint I spake ; and unlike most narrators, gave all
the important particulars, passing lightly over minute and
tiresome circumstances. The action of talking, long con-
tinued, puts one in mind of dining. His ebony cabinet,
which served for larder, pantry, and all possible uses, was
ransacked for napkins, bread, a shoulder of mutton far
gone in a dechne, with its last and best contents, a bottle
of excellent wine; so that we sat down to table in high
spirits, as friends are wont to do after a long separation.
You observe, said he, this free and independent manner of

^/6 History of Gil Bias

life. I might find a plate laid for me every day, if I chose
it, in the very first houses ; but, besides that the muse often
pays me a visit and detains me within doors, I have a Uttle
of Aristippus in my nature. I can pass with equal reUsh
from the great and busy world to my retreat, from all the
researches of luxury to the simphcity of my own frugal
board.

The wine was so good, that we encroached upon a second
bottle. As a relish to our fruit and cheese, I begged to
be favoured with a sight of something, the offspring of
his inspired moments. He immediately rummaged among
his papers, and read me a sonnet with much energy of tone.
Yet, with all the advantage of accent and expression,
there was something so uncouth in the arrangement, as to
baffle all conjecture about the meaning. He saw how it
puzzled me. This sonnet then, said he, is not quite level
to your comprehension! Is not that the fact? I owned
that I should have preferred a construction somewhat less
forced. He began laughing at my rusticity. Well, then!
replied he; we will say that this sonnet would confuse
clearer heads than thine : it is all the better for that. Son-
nets, odes, in short all compositions which partake of the
sublime, are of course the reverse of the simple and natural :
they are enveloped in clouds, and their darkness consti-
tutes their grandeur. Let the poet only fancy that he
understands himself no matter whether his readers under-
stand him or not. You are laughing at me, my friend, said
I, interrupting him. Let poetry be of what species it may,
good sense and intelligible diction are essential to its powers
of pleasing. If your peerless Gongora is not a httle more
lucid than yourself, I protest that his merit will never pass
current with me. Such poets may entrap their own age
into applause, but will never live beyond it. Now let me
have a taste of your prose.

Nunez shewed me a preface which he meant to prefix
to a dramatic miscellany then in the press. He insisted
on having my opinion. I like not your prose one atom
better than your verse, said I. Your sonnet is a roaring
deluge of emptiness ; and as for your preface, it is disfigured
by a phraseology stolen from languages yet in embryo,
by words not stamped in the mint of general use, by aU
the perplexity of a style that does not know what to make

Gil Bias again meets Fabricio jj

of itself. In a word, the composition is altogether a thing
of your own. Our classical and standard books are written
in a very different manner. Poor tasteless wretch! ex-
claimed Fabricio. You are not aware that every prose
writer who aspires to the reputation of sentiment and deli-
cacy in these days, affects this style of his own, these
perplexities and innovations which are a stumbling-block
to you. There are five or six of us determined reformers
of our language, who have undertaken to turn the vSpanish
idiom topsy-turvy; and with a blessing on our endeavours,
we will pull it down and build it up again in defiance of
Lope de Vega, Cervantes, and all the host of wits who cavil
at our new modes of speech. Our party is strongly sup-
ported in the fashionable world, and we have laid violent
hands upon the pulpit.

After all, continued he, our pioject is commendable;
for, to speak without prejudice, we have ten times the
merit of those natural writers, who express themselves
just like the mob. I cannot conceive why so many sen-
sible men are taken with them. It is all very well at
Athens and at Rome, in a Wild and undistinguishing
democracy; and on that principle only could Socrates tell
Alcibiades, that the last appeal was to the people in aU
disputes about language. But at Madrid there is a polite
and a vulgar usage; so that our courtiers talk in a different
tongue from their tradesmen. You may assure yourself
that it is so; in fine, this newly invented style is carrying
everything before it, and turning old nature out of doors.
Now I will explain to you by a single instance the differ-
ence between the elegance of our diction and the flatness
of theirs. They would say, for example, in plain terms,
" Ballets incidental to the piece are an ornament to a play;"
but in our mode of expression, we say more exquisitely,
" Ballets incidental to the piece are the very life and soul
of the play." Now observe the phrase ; /^/l? «ni sow/. Are
you sensible how glowing it is, at the same time how de-
scriptive, setting before you all the motions of the dancers,
as on an intellectual stage ?

I broke in upon my reformer of language with a burst of
laughter. Get along with you, Fabricio, said I, you are
a coxcomb of your own manufacture, with your affected
finery of phrase. And you, answered he, are a blockhead

yS History of Gil Bias

of nature's clumsy moulding, with your starch simplicity.
He then went on taunting me with the archbishop of
Grenada's angry banter on my dismission. " Get about
your business! Go and tell my treasurer to pay you a
hundred ducats, and take my blessing in addition to that
sum. God speed you, good master Gil Bias! I heartily
pray that you may do well in the world ! There is nothing
to stand in your way, but a little better taste." I roared
out in a still louder explosion of laughter at this lucky hit;
and Fabricio, easily appeased on the score of impiety, as
manifested in the opinion expressed concerning his writings
lost nothing of his pleasant and propitious temper. We
got to the bottom of our second bottle ; and then rose from
the table in fine order for an adventure. Our first intention
was to see what was to be seen upon the Prado ; but pas-
sing in front of a liquor-shop, it came into our heads that
we might as well go in.

The company was in general tolerably select at this
house of call. There were two distinct apartments; and
the pastime in each was of a very opposite nature. One
was devoted to games of chance or skill; the other to
literary and scientific discussion: and there were at that
moment two clever men by profession handling an argu-
ment most pertinaciously, before ten or twelve auditors
deeply interested in the discussion. There was no occa-
sion to join the circle, because the metaphysical thunder
of their logic made itself heard at a more respectful dis-
tance: the heat and passion with which this abstract con-
troversy was managed made the two philosophers look
little better than madmen. A certain Eleazar used to
cast out devils, by t5dng a ring to the nose of the pos-
sessed; had these learned swine been ringed in the same
manner, how many little imps would have taken wing out
of their nostrils? Angels and ministers of grace defend
us, said I to my companion: what contortions of gesture,
what extravagance of elocution ! One might as well argue
with the town crier. How little do we know our natural
calling in society! Very true indeed, answered he: you
have read of Novius, the Roman pawnbroker, whose lungs
went as far beyond the rattle of chariot-wheels, as his
conscience beyond the rate of legal interest; the Novii
must certainly have been transplanted into Spain, and

Gil Bias again meets Fabricio 79

these fellows are lineal descendants. But the hopeless part
of the case is, that though our organs of sense are deafened,
our understandings are not invigorated at their expense.
We thought it best to make our escape from these bray-
ing metaphysicians, and by that prudent motion to avoid
a headache which was just beginning to annoy us. We
went and seated ourselves in a corner of the other room,
whence, as we sipped our refreshing beverage, all comers
and goers were obnoxious to our criticism. Nunez was
acquainted with almost the whole set. Heaven and earth !
exclaimed he, the clash of philosophy is as yet but in its
beginning; fresh reinforcements are coming in on both
sides. Those three men just on the threshold, mean to let
shp the dogs of war. But do you see those two queer fellows
going out? That little swarthy, leather-complexioned
Adonis, with long lank hair parted in the middle with
mathematical exactness, is Don Juliano de Villanuno. He
is a VQun^ barrister, with more of the prig than the lawyer
about mm! A party of us went to dine with him the
other day. The occupation we caught him in was singular
enough. He was amusing himseli in his office with making
a tall grey-hound fetch and carry the briefs in the causes
which were so unfortunate as to have him retained ; and of
course the canine amicus curix set his fangs indifferently
into the flesh of plaintiff or defendant, tearing Jaw, equity,
precedent, and principle into shreds. That licentiate at
his elbow, with jolly, pimple-spangled nose and cheeks,
goes by the name of Don Cherubino Tonto. He is a canon.
of Toledo, and the greatest fool that was ever suffered to
walk the earth without a keeper. And yet, he arraj^s his
features in that sort of not quite unmeaning smile, that j^ou
would give him credit for good sense as well as good
humour. His eye has the look of cunning if not of wisdom,
and his laugh too much of sarcasm for an absolute idiot.
One would conclude that he had a turn for mischief, but kept
it down from principle and feehng. If you wish to take his
opinion upon a work of genius, he will hear it read with so
grave and wrapt a silence, as nothing but deep thought and
acute mental critcism could justify; but the truth is, that
he comprehends not one word, and therefore can have
nothing to say. He was of the barrister party. There
were a thousand good things said, as there always must

8o History of Gil Bias

be in a professional company. Don Cherubino added
nothing to the mass of merriment; but looked such perfect
approbation at those who did, was so tractable and com-
plimentary a listener, that every man at table placed him
second in the comparative estimate of merit.

Do you know, said I to Nunez, who those two fellows are
with dirty clothes and matted hair, their elbows on that
table in the corner, and their cheeks upon their hands,
whiffing foul breath into each other's nostrils as they lay
their heads together ? He told me that by their faces they
were strangers to him; but that by physical and moral
tokens they could only be coffee-house politicians, venting
their spleen against the measures of government. But do
look at that spruce spark, whistling as he paces up and
down the other room, and balancing himself alternately
on one toe and on the other. That is Don Angus tino Moreto,
a youn^ poet sufficiently of nature's mint and coinage to
pass current, if flatterers and sciolists had not debased him
into a mere coxcomb by their misplaced admiration. The
man to whom he is going up with that familiar shake by
the hand, is one of the set who write verses and then call
themselves poets; who claim a speaking acquaintance with
the muses, but never were of their private parties.

Authors upon authors, nothing but authors! exclaimed
he, pointing out two dashing blades. One would think
they had made an appointment on purpose to pass in review
before you. Don Bernardo Deslenguado and Don Sebas-
tian of Villa Viciosa! The first is a vinegar-flavoured
vintage of Parnassus, a satirist by trade and company;
he hates all the world, and is not liked the better for his
taste. As for Don Sebastian, he is the milk and honey of
criticism; he would not have the guilt of ill-nature on his
conscience for the universe. He has just brought out a
comedy without a single idea, which has succeeded with
an audience of tantamount ideas; and he has just now pub-
lished it to vindicate his innocence.

Gongora's candid pupil was running on in his career of
benevolent explanation, when one of the Duke de Medina
Sidonia's household came up and said : Signor Don Fabricio,
my lord duke wishes to speak with you. You will find
him at home. Nunez, who knew that the wishes of a
great lord could not be too soon gratified, left me without

Gil Bias serves Count Galiano 8i

ceremony; but he left me in the utmost consternation, to
hear him called Don, and thus ennobled, in spite of master
Chrysostom the barber's escutcheon, who had the honour
to call him father.

CHAPTER XIV

FABRICIO FINDS A SITUATION FOR GTL BLAS IN THE ESTAB-
LISHMENT OF COUNT GALIANO, A SICILIAN NOBLE-
MAN

I WAS too happy in Fabricio's society, not to hunt him
out again early the next morning. Good day to you, Sig-
nor Don Fabricio, said I on my first approach; it seems
you are the picked and chosen flower, or rather, saving
your presence, the nondescript excrescence of the Asturian
nobility. This sarcasm had no other effect than to set
him laughing heartily. Then the title of Don was not lost
upon you! exclaimed he. No, indeed, my noble lord,
answered I ; and you will give me leave to tell you that when
you were recounting your transformations to me yester-
day, you forgot the most extraordinary. Exactly so,
replied he; but to speak sincerely, if I have taken up that
prefix of dignity, it is less to tickle my own vanity, than
in tenderness to that of others. You know what stuff
the Spaniards are made of ; an honest man is no honest
man to them, if his honour is not bolstered up with escut-
cheons, pedigree, and patrimony. I may tell you, more-
over, that there are so many gentry, and very queer sort
of gentry too, dubbed Don Francisco, Don Pedro, Don
What-do-you-call-him, or Don Devil, that if they owe
their coats of arms to any herald but their own impu-
dence, modem nobility is a mere drug in the market, so that
a plebeian of nature's ennobling confers infinite honour on
the upstarts of an artificial creation, by herding with their
order.

But let us change the subject, added he. Last night,
supping at the Duke de Medina Sidonia's, where among
other company we had Count Galiano, a great Sicilian
nobleman, the conversation turned upon the ridiculous
effects of self-love. Delighted at having a case in point

82 History of Gil Bias

hy way of illustration, I treated them with the story of the
homihes. You may well suppose that there was a hearty
laugh, and that the archbishop's dignity was not saved in
the concussion; but the effect was not amiss for you, since
the company felt for your situation; and Count Galiano,
after a long string of questions, which of course I answered
to your advantage, commissioned me to introduce you.
I was just now going to look after you for that purpose. In
all probabihty he means to offer you a situation as one of
his secretaries. I advise you not to hang back. The count
is rich, and lives away at Madrid, on the scale of an ambas-
sador. He is said to have come to court on a negotiation
with the Duke of Lerma, respecting some crown lands which
that minister thinks of alienating in Sicily. In one word,
Count Galiano, though a SiciHan, has every feature of gene-
rosity, fair dealing, and gentlemanly conduct. You can-
not do better than get upon that nobleman's establish-
ment. In all probability, the flattering prophecy respecting
you at Grenada is to be fulfilled in his person.

It was my fuU determination, said I to Nunez, to take
my swing about town and look at men and manners a little,
before the harness was buckled on my back again ; but you
paint your Sicilian nobleman in colours which fascinate
my imagination and change my purpose. I should like to
close with him at once. You will do so very soon, rephed
he, or I am much deceived. We sallied forth together
immediately, and went to the count's, who resided in
the house of his friend, Don Sancho d'Avila, the latter
being then in the country.

The court-yard was overrun with pages and footmen inj
rich and elegant liveries, while the ante-chamber was]
blockaded by esquires, gentlemen, and various officers of]
the household. They were all as fine as possible, but with!
so whimsical an assortment of features, that you might]
have taken them for a cluster of monkeys dressed up to
satirize the Spanish fashions. Do what you will, there is
a certain class of men and women in nature, whom no
art can trick out into anything human.

At the very name of Don Fabricio, a lane was formed for
my patron, and I followed in the rear. The count was in
his dressing-gown, sitting on a sofa and taking his choco-j
late. We made our obeisance in the most respectful'

Gil Bias serves Count Galiano 83

manner; while an inclination of the head on his part, accom-
panied with a condescending smile, won my heart at once.
It is very wonderful, and yet very common, how the most
trifling notice from the great penetrates the very soul
of those who are not accustomed to it! They must have
behaved like fiends, before their behaviour will be com-
plained of.

After taking his chocolate, he recreated himself with
the humours of a large ape, which underwent the name
of Cupid : why the ape was made a god, or the god likened
to an ape, the parties concerned can best answer; the only
point of resemblance seemed to be mischief. At all events,
this hairy brat of the sylvan Venus had so gamboled himself
into his master's good graces, had established such a char-
acter for wit and himiour, that the life of society was
extinguished in his absence. As for Nunez and myself,
though we had a better turn for drollery, we were cunning
enough to chime in with the prevaiHng taste. The SiciHan
was highly delighted with this, and tore himself away
for a moment from his favourite pastime, just to tell me:
My friend, you have only to say whether you choose to be
one of my secretaries. If the situation suits you, the salary
is two hundred pistoles a year. If Don Fabricio gives
you a character, that is enough. Yes, my lord, cried
Nunez, I am not such a cowardly fellow as Plato, who in-
troduced one of his friends to Dionysius the tyrant, and
then was afraid to back his own recommendation. But I
have no anxiety about being reproached on that head.

I thanked the poet of the Asturias with a low bow, for
having so much better an opinion of me than Plato had
of his friend. Then addressing my patron, I assured him
of my zeal and fidehty. No sooner did this good noble-
man perceive his proposal to be acceptable, than he rang
for his steward, and after talking to him apart, said to me :
Gil Bias, I will explain the nature of your post hereafter.
Meanwhile, you have only to follow that right-hand man of
mine; he has his orders how to bestow you. I imme-
diately retreated, leaving Fabricio behind with the Count
and Cupid.

The steward, who came from Messina, and proved by all
his actions that he came thence, led the way to his own
room, overwhelming me all the while with the kindness

84 History of Gil Bias

of his reception. He sent for the tailor who lived upon the
skirts of the household, and ordered him to make me out
of hand a suit of equal magnificence with those of the
principal officers. The tailor took my measure and with-
drew. As to lodging, said the native of Messina, I know a
room which will just suit you. But stay! Have you
breakfasted? I answered in the negative. Oh! poor
shamefaced youth, replied he, why did not you say so?
Come this way: I will introduce you where, thank heaven,
you have only to ask and have.

So saying, he led me down into the buttery, where we
found the clerk of the kitchen, who was a Neapolitan, and
of course a complete match for his neighbour on the other
side of the water. It might be said of this pair that they
were formed to meet by nature. This honest clerk of the
kitchen was doing justice to his trade by cramming him-
self and five or six hangers-on with ham, tongue, sausages,
and other savoury compositions, which, besides their own
relish, possess the merit of engendering thirst: we made
common cause with these jolly fellows, and helped them
to toss off some of my lord the count's best wines. While
these things were going on in the buttery, kindred exploits
were performing in the kitchen. The cook too was regaling
three or four tradesmen of his acquaintance, who Hked
good wine as well as ourselves, nor disdained to stuff
their craws with meat pasties and game : the very scullions
were at free quarters, and filched whatever they pleased.
I fancied myself in a house given up to plunder: and yet
what I saw was comparatively fair and honest. These
little festivities were laughing matters; but the private
transactions of the family were very serious.

CHAPTER XV

THE EMPLOYMENT OF GIL BLAS IN DON GALIANO'S HOUSE-
HOLD

I WENT away to fetch my moveables to my new resi-
dence. On my return the count was at table with several
noblemen and the poet Nunez, who called about him as if
perfectly at home, and took a principal share in the conver-

Gil Bias' Employment 85

sation. Indeed, he never opened his lips without applause.
So much for wit ! with that commodity at market, a man
may pay his way in any company.

It was my lot to dine with the gentlemen of the house-
hold, who were served nearly as well as their employer.
After meal-time I withdrew to ruminate on my lot. So
far so good, Gil Bias ! said I to myself : here you are in the
family of a Sicilian count, of whose character you know
nothing. To judge by appearances, you will be as much in
your element as a duck upon the water. But do not make
too sure ! you ought to look askew at your horoscope, whose
unkindly position you have too often experienced with a
vengeance. Independent of that, it is not easy to con-
jecture what he means you to do. There are secretaries
and a steward already: where can your post be? In all
likelihood you are intended to manage his little private
affairs. Well and good! There is no better luck about
the house of a great nobleman, if you would travel post
haste to make your fortune. In the performance of more
honourable services, a man gets on only step by step, and
even at that pace often sticks by the way.

While these philosophical reflections were revolving in
my mind, a servant came to tell me that all the company
was gone home, and that my lord the count was inquiring
for me. I flew immediately to his apartment, where I
found him lolling on the sofa, ready to take his afternoon's
nap, with his monkey by his side.

Come nearer, Gil Bias, said he; take a chair, and hear
me attentively. I placed myself in an attitude of pro-
found listening, when he addressed me as foUows. Don
Fabricio has informed me that, among other good quali-
ties, you have that of sincere attachment to your masters,
and incorruptible integrity. These are my inducements
for proposing to take you into my service. I stand in need
-of a friend in a domestic, to espouse my interests and
apply his whole heart and soul to the reform of my estab-
lishment. My fortune is large, it must be confessed, but
' my expenditure far exceeds my income every year. And
; how happens that ? Because they rob, ransack, and
devour me. I might as well be in a forest infested by
banditti, as an inhabitant of my own house. I suspect
'the clerk of the kitchen and my steward of plajdng into

86 History of Gil Bias

one another's hands; and unless my thoughts are unjust
as well as uncharitable, they are pushing forward as fast
as they can to ruin me beyond redemption. You will
ask me what I have to do but send them packing, if I think
them scoundrels. But then where are others to be got of
a better breed ? It will be sufficient to place them under
the eye of a man who shall be invested with the right of
control over their conduct; and you have I chosen to exe-
cute this commission. If you discharge it well, be assured
that your services will not be repaid with ingratitude. I
shall take care to provide you with a very comfortable
settlement in Sicily.

With this he dismissed me; and that very evening, in
the presence of the whole household, I was proclaimed
principal manager and surveyor-general of the family. Our
gentlemen of Messina and Naples expressed no particular
chagrin at first, because they considered me as a spark
of mettle hke their own, and took it for granted, that
though the loaf was to be shared with a third, there would
always be cut and come again for the triumvirate. But
they looked inexpressibly fooHsh the next day, when I
declared myself in serious terms a decided enemy to all
peculation and underhand deaUng. From the clerk of the
kitchen I required the buttery accounts without varnish or
concealment. I went down into the cellar. The fur-
niture of the butler's pantry underwent a strict examina-
tion, particularly in the articles of plate and Hnen. Next
I read them a serious lecture on the duty of acting for
their employer as they would for themselves; exhorted them
to adopt a system of economy in their expenditure; and
wound up my harangue with a protestation, that his
lordship should be acquainted with the very first instance
of any unfair tricks that I should discover in the exercise
of my office.

But I had not yet got to the length of my tether. There
was still wanting a scout to ascertain whether they had
any private understanding. I fixed upon a scuUion, who,
won over by my promises, told me that I could not have
applied to a better person to be informed of all that was
passing in the family ; that the clerk of the kitchen and the
steward were one as good as the other, and agreed to burn
the candle at both ends; that half the provisions bought

Gil Bias' Employment 87

for the table were made perquisites by these gentlemen;
that the Neapohtan kept a lady who lives opposite St
Thomas's college, and his colleague, not to be outdone,
provided for another next door to the Sungate; that these
two nymphs had their larder regularly supplied every
morning, while the cook, following a good example, sent
a few little nice things to a widow of his acquaintance in
the neighbourhood: but as he winked at the table arrange-
ments of his dear and confidential friends, it was but fair
that he should draw whenever he pleased upon the wine-
cellar: in short, by the practices of these three blood-
suckers, a most horrible system of extravagance had found
its way into my lord the count's estabHshment. If you
doubt my veracity, added the scuUion, only take the
trouble of going to-morrow morning about seven o'clock
into the neighbourhood of St Thomas's college, and you
will see me with a load upon my back, which will convert
your suspicions into certainty. Then you, said I, are in
the confidence of these honest purveyors ? I am factor to
the clerk of the kitchen, answered he ; and one of my com-
rades runs on errands for the steward.

I had the curiosity the next day to loiter about St
Thomas's college at the appointed hour. My informer
was punctual to time and place. He brought with him a
large tray full of butcher's meat, poultry, and game. I
took an account of every article; and drew out the bill of
fare in my memorandum book, for the purpose of shew-
ing it to my master: at the same time telling my Uttle
turnspit to execute his commission as usual.

His Sicilian lordship, naturally warm in his temper,
would have turned his countryman and the Italian out of
doors together, in the first fury of his anger; but after
cooling upon it, he got rid of the former only, and gave me
his vacant place. Thus my office of supervisor was sup-
pressed very shortly after its creation; nor did I reUn-
quish it with any reluctance. To define it strictly and
properly, it was nothing better than that of a spy with a
sounding title; there was nothing substantial in the nature
of the appointment: whereas to the stewardship was tied
the key of the strong box, and with that goes the mastery of
the whole family. There are so many Uttle perquisites
and so much patronage attached to that department of

88 History of Gil Bias

administration, that a man must inevitably get rich, almost
in spite of his own honesty.

But our Neapolitan was not so easily to be driven from
his strongholds. Observing to what a pitch of savage
zeal I carried my integrity, and that I was up every morn-
ing time enough to enter in my books the exact quantity
of meat that came from market, he abandoned the prac-
tice of sending it off by wholesale: yet the plunderer did
not therefore contract the scale of his demands on the
animal creation. He was cunning enough to make it as
broad as it was long, by arranging the services with so
much the more profusion. Thus, what was sent down
again untouched being his property by cuHnary common
law, he had nothing to do but to pamper up his pet
with victuals ready dressed, instead of giving her the
trouble of cooking for herself. The devil will levy his due
out of every transaction; so that the count was very little
the better for his paragon of a steward. The unbounded
prodigahty in our style of setting out a table, even to a
surfeiting degree, was a plain hint to me of what was going
forward; I therefore took upon myself to retrench the
superfluities of every course. This, however, was done
with so judicious a hand, that there was nothing like par-
simony to be discovered. No one would ever have missed
what was taken away; and yet the expense was reduced
very considerably by a well-regulated economy. That was
just what my employer wanted; good house-wifery, but a
magnificent establishment. There was a love of saving at
the bottom; but a taste for grandeur was the ostensible
passion.

Abuses seldom exist alone. The wine flowed too freely.
If, for instance, there were a dozen gentlemen at his lord-
ship's table, the consumption was seldom less than fifty,
sometimes sixty bottles. This was strange; and looked as
if there was more in it than met the lips of the guests.
Hereupon I consulted my oracle of the scullery, whence
I derived most of my wisdom: for he brought me a faith-
ful account of all that was said and done in the kitchen,
where they had not the least suspicion of him. It seemed
that the havoc of which I complained proceeded from a
new confederacy between the clerk of the kitchen, the
cook, and the under butler. The latter carried off thei

Gil Bias' Employment 89

bottles half full, and shared their contents with his allies.
I spoke to him on the subject, threatening to turn him and
all the footmen under him out of doors at a minute's
warning, if ever they did the like again. The hint was
understood, and the evil remedied. I took especial
care lest the shghtest of my services should be lost upon
my master, who overwhelmed me with commendations,
and took a greater liking to me every day. On my part,
as a reward to the sculHon, he was promoted to the situa-
tion next under the cook.

The Neapolitan was furious at encountering me in every
direction. The most aggravating circumstance of the
whole was the overhauUng of his accounts; for, to pare
his nails the closer, I had gone into the market, and in-
formed myself of the prices. I followed him through all
his doubUngs, and always took off the market penny which
he wanted to add. He must have cursed me a hundred
times a day; but the curses of the wicked fall in blessings
on the good. I wonder how he could stay in his place
under such discipline; but probably something still stuck
by the fingers.

Fabricio, whom I saw occasionally, rather blamed my
conduct than otherwise. Heaven grant, said he, one day,
that all this virtue may meet with its reward! But
between ourselves you might as well be a little more prac-
ticable with the clerk of the kitchen. What ! answered I,
shall this freebooter put a bold face upon the matter, and
charge a fish at ten pistoles in his bill, which costs only
four, and would you have me pass the articles in my
accounts? Why not? rephed he, coolly. He has only to
let you go snacks in the commission, and the books will
be balanced in your favoxir by the customary rule of
stewardship arithmetic. Upon my word, my friend, you
are enough to overturn all regular systems of housekeep-
ing; and you are likely to end your days in a livery, if
you let the eel shp through your fingers without skinning
it. You are to learn that fortune is a very woman; ready
and eager to surrender, but expecting the formality of a
summons.

I only laughed at this doctrine; and Nunez laughed at
lit too, when he found that bad advice was thrown away
I upon an incorrigibly honest subject. He then wished to

90 History of Gil Bias

make me believe it was all a mere joke. At all events,
nothing could shake my resolution to act for my employer
as for myself. Indeed my actions corresponded with my
words on that subject; for I may venture to say that in
four months my master saved at least three thousand
ducats by my thrift.

CHAPTER XVI

AN ACCIDENT HAPPENS TO THE COUNT DE GALIANO'S MON-
KEY; HIS lordship's affliction on THAT OCCASION.
THE ILLNESS OF GIL BLAS, AND ITS CONSEQUENCES

At the expiration of the before-mentioned time, the
repose of the family was marvellously troubled by an
accident, which will appear but a trifle to the reader; and
yet it was a very serious matter to the household, espe-
cially to me. Cupid, the monkey of whom I was speaking,
that animal, so much the idol of our lord and master,
attempting to leap from one window to another, per-
formed so ill as to fall into the court and put his leg out of
joint. No sooner were the fatal tidings carried to the
count, than he sung a dirge which pealed through all the
neighbourhood. In the extremity of his sufferings, every
inmate without exception was taken to task, and we were
aU within an inch of being packed off about our business.
But the storm only rumbled without falling; he gave us
and our negligence to the devil, without being by any
means select in the terms of the bequest. The most noto-
rious of the faculty in the line of fractures and dislocations
were sent for. They examined the poor dear leg, set,
and bound it up. But though they all gave it as their
opinion that there was no danger, my master could not
be satisfied without retaining the most eminent about
the person of the animal, till he could be pronounced to be
in a state of convalescence.

It would be a manifest injustice to the family affections
of his Sicilian lordship, not to commemorate all the agoniz-
ing sensations of his soul during this period of painful
suspense. Would it be thought possible that this tender
nurse did not stir from his darUng Cupid's bedside all the

The Illness of Gil Bias 91

live-long day? The bandages were never altered or
adjusted but in his presence, and he got up two or three
times in the night to inquire after his patient. The most
provoking part of the business was, that all the servants,
and myself in particular, were required to be eternally on
the alert, to anticipate the sHghtest wishes of this ridi-
culous baboon. In short, there was no peace in the house,
till the cursed beast, having recovered from the effects of
its fall, got back again to his old tricks and whirligigs. Af-
ter this shall we be mealy-mouthed about beheving Sue-
tonius, when he tells us that Cahgula cared more for his
horse than for all the world besides, that he gave him more
than the establishment and attendance of a senator, and
that he even wanted to make him consul ? Our wise
master stopped Httle short of the emperor in his partiality
to the monkey ; and had serious thoughts of purchasing for
him the place of corregidor.

Mine was the worst luck of any in the family; for I had
so topped my part above all the other servants, by way of
paying my court to his lordship, and had nursed poor dear
Cupid with such assiduity, as to throw myself into a fit of
illness. A violent fever seized me, so that I was almost
at death's door. They did what they pleased with me for
a whole fortnight, without my consciousness; for the
physicians and the fates were both conspiring against me.
But my youth was more than a match for the fever and
the prescriptions united. When I recovered my senses,
the first use I made of them was to observe myself re-
moved to another room. I wanted to know why; and
asked an old woman who nursed me: but she told me that
I must not talk, as the physician had expressly forbidden
it. When we are well, we turn up our noses at the doc-
tors; but when we are sick, we are as much like old women
as themselves.

It seemed best therefore to keep silence, though with
an inveterate longing to hold converse with my attendant.
I was debating the point in my own mind, when there
came in two foppish-looking fellows, dressed in the very
extreme of fashion. Nothing less than velvet would serve
their turn, with linen and lace to correspond. They looked
like men of rank; and I could have sworn that they were
some of my master's friends come to see me out of regard

92 History of Gil Bias

for him. Under that impression I attempted to sit up,
and flung away my nightcap to look genteel; but the
nurse forced me under the bedclothes again, and tucked
me up, announcing these gentlemen at the same time, as
my physician and apothecary.

The doctor came up to my bedside, felt my pulse, looked
in my face; and discovering undeniable S5miptoms of
approaching convalescence, assimied an air of triumph,
as if it was all his handiwork; and said there was nothing
wanting but to keep the bowels open, and then he flattered
himself he might boast of having performed an extraor-
dinary cure. Speaking after this manner, he dictated a
prescription to the apothecary, looking in the glass all the
time, adjusting the dress of his hair, and twisting his
visage into shapes which set me laughing in spite of my
debility. At length he took his leave with a sHght inclina-
tion of the head, and went his way, more taken with the
contemplation of his own pretty person, than anxious
about the success of his remedies.

After his departure, the apothecary, not to have the
trouble of a visit for nothing, made ready to proceed as
it is prescribed in certain cases. Whether he was afraid
that the old woman's skill was not equal to the exigency,
or whether he meant to enhance his own services by
assiduity, he chose to operate in person; but in spite of
practice and experience, accidents will happen. Haste to
return benefits is among the most amiable propensities of
our nature; and such was my eagerness not to be behind-
hand with my benefactor, that his velvet dress bore im-
mediate testimony to the profuseness of my gratitude.
This he considered merely as one of those little occurrences
which chequer the fortunes of the pharmaceutical profes-
sion. A napkin is a resource for everything in a sick room,
and least said was soonest mended; so he wiped himself
quietly, vowing indemnity and vengeance to himself for
the necessity under which he unquestionably laboured of
sending his clothes to the scourer.

On the following morning he returned to the attack
more modestly equipped, though there was then no risk of
my springing a countermine, as he had only to administer
the potion which the doctor had prescribed the evening
before. Besides that I felt myself getting better every

The Illness of Gil Bias 93

moment, I had taken such a disUke, since the day before,
to the pill-dispensing tribe, as to curse the very universities
where these graduated cut-throats kept their exercises in
the faculty of slaying. In this temper of mind, I declared,
with a round oath, that I would not accept of health
through such a medium, but would willingly make over
Hippocrates and his myrmidons to the devil. The apothe-
cary, who did not care a doit what became of his com-
pound, if it was but paid for, left the phial on the table, and
stalked away in Telamonian silence.

I immediately ordered that bitch of a medicine to be
thrown out of window, having set myself so doggedly
against it, that I would as soon have swallowed arsenic.
Having once drawn the sword, I threw away the scab-
bard; and erecting my tongue into an independent poten-
tate, told my nurse in a determined tone, that she must
absolutely inform me what was become of my master.
The old lady, fearing lest the development of the mystery
might completely overset me, or thinking possibly that
her prey might escape out of her clutches for want of a
little irritating contradiction, was m"ost provokingly mute;
but I was so pressing in my demand to be obeyed, that she
at length gave me a decisive answer: Worthy sir, you have
no longer any master but your own will. Count Galiana
is gone back into Sicily.

I could not beHeve my ears; and yet it was fatally the
fact. That nobleman, on the second day of my indis-
position, being afraid of harbouring death under the same
roof with him, had the benevolence to send me packing-
wdth my Uttle effects to a ready-furnished room, where
providence was left to cure, or a nurse to kill me, as it
liappened. While the alternative was tottering on the
Dalance, he was ordered back into Sicily, and in the head-
ong haste of his obedience, never thought about me;
A^hether it was that he numbered me already among the
lead, or that great lords, hke great wits, have short
nemories.

My nurse gave me these particulars, and informed me
that it was she who had called in a physician and an
jipothecary, that I might not die without professional
Honours. I fell into profound musing at this fine story,
farewell my brilliant estabhshment in Sicily! Farewell

94 History of Gil Bias

my budding hopes and blushing honours! When any
great misfortune shall have befallen you, says a certain
pope, look well to your own conduct, and you will find that
there is always something wrong at the bottom of it. With
all reverent submission to his holiness, I cannot help
thinking myself in this instance an exception to the infalli-
bility of his maxim. How the deuce was I to blame for
being visited by a fever? There was more reason for
remorse in the monkey or his master than in me.

When I beheld the flattering chimeras with which my
head was filled, all vanishing into air, into thin air, the
first thing that worried my poor brain was my portmanteau,
which I ordered to be laid upon my bed to examine it. I
groaned heavily on discovering that it had been opened.
Alas! my dear portmanteau, exclaimed I, my only hope,
consolation, and refuge! You have been, to all appear-
ance, a prisoner in an enemy's country. No, no, Signor
Gil Bias, said the old woman, make yourself easy on that
head; you have not fallen among thieves. Your baggage
is as immaculate as my honour.

I found the dress I had on at my first entrance into
the count's service; but it was in vain to look for that
which my friend from Messina had ordered for me as a
member of the household. My master had not thought
fit to leave me in possession of it, or else some one had made
free with it. All my other little matters were safe, and
even a large leather purse with my coin in it, which I
counted over twice, not being able to believe at first that
there could be only fifty pistoles remaining out of two
hundred and sixty, which was the balance of the account
before my illness. What is the meaning of all this, my
good lady? said I to the nurse. Here is a leak in the
vessel. No living soul but myself has touched a farthing,
answered the old woman, and I have been as good an
economist for you as possible. But illness is very expen-
sive; one must always have one's money in one's hand.
Here! added this excellent economist, taking a bundle of
papers out of her pocket, this is a statement of debtor and
creditor, as exact as a banker's book, and you will see that
I have not laid out the veriest trifle in need-nots.

I ran over the account with a hasty glance; for it ex-
tended to fifteen or twenty pages. Mercy on us! The

The Illness of Gil Bias 95

poulterers' shops must have been exhausted, while I was
in too weak a state to take sustenance ! There must have
been at least twelve pistoles stewed down into broths.
Other articles were much to the same tune. It was in-
credible what a sum had been lavished in firing, candles,
water, brooms, and innumerable articles of housekeeping
and house-cleaning. After all, extortionate as the bill
was, the utmost ingenuity could not raise it above thirty
pistoles, and consequently there was a deficiency of a
hundred and eighty to make the account even. I just
ventured to point that out; but the old woman, with a
shew of simplicity and candour, put all the saints in the
calendar into requisition to attest that there were no
more than eighty pistoles in the purse when the count's
steward gave her charge of the wallet. What say you,
my good woman, interrupted I with precipitation: was it
the steward who placed my effects in your hands? To-
be sure it was, answered she; the very man; and with this
piece of advice: Here, good mother, when Gil Bias shall be
numbered with the dead, do not fail to treat him with a
handsome funeral; there is in this wallet wherewithal
to defray the expenses.

Ah! most pestiferous NeapoHtan! exclaimed I in the
bitterness of my heart. I am no longer at a loss to con-
jecture what is become of the deficiency. You have swept
it off as an indemnity for a part of the plunder which I
have prevented you from making free with. After relieving
my mind by exclamations, I returned thanks to heaven
that the scoundrel had been so modest as not to take the
whole. Yet whatever reason I had for believing the
action to be perfectly in character for the person to whom
it was imputed, the nurse had not altogether cleared her-
self from my suspicions. They hovered sometimes over
one and sometimes over the other; but let them light
where they would, it was all the same to me. I said
nothing about the matter to the old woman; not even so
much as to haggle about the items of her fine bill. I
ishould not have been an atom the richer for doing so; and
iwe must all live by our trades. The utmost of my malice
rwas to pay her and send her packing three days after-
wards.

I am incUned to think that at her departure she gave

96 History of Gil Bias

the apothecary notice of her quitting the premises, and
having left me sufficiently in possession of myself to take
French leave without acknowledging my obligations to
him; for she had not been gone many minutes before he
came in puffing and blowing, with his bill in his hand.
There, under names which had escaped my conscription,
though as arrant a physician as the worst of them, he had
«et down all the hypothetical remedies which he insisted
that I had taken during the time when I could take nothing.
This bill might truly be called the epitome of an apothe-
cary's conscience. Such being the case, we had a bustle
about the pa5anent. I pleaded for an abatement of one-
half. He swore that he would not take a doit less than
his just demand. He kept his oath and yet relaxed; for
considering that he had to do with a young man who might
run away from Madrid within four-and-twenty hours, he
preferred my offer of three hundred per cent, on the prime
•cost of his drugs, though a pitiful profit for an apothecary,
to the risk of losing all. I counted out the money with an
aiching heart, and he withdrew, chuckhng over his revenge
for the scurvy trick I had played him on the day of evacua-
tion.

The physician made his appearance next; for beasts of
prey inhabit the same latitudes. I fee'd him for his visits,
which had been quite as frequent as necessary, and his
object was answered. But he would not leave me without
proving how hardly he had earned his money, for that he
had not only expelled the enemy from the interior, but
had defended the frontiers from the attack of all the dis-
orders on the army hst of the materia medica. He talked
very learnedly, with good emphasis and discretion; so
much so, that I did not comprehend one word he said.
When I had got rid of him, I flattered myself that the
destinies had now done their worst. But I was mis-
taken; for there came a surgeon whose face I had never
seen in the whole course of my Hfe. He accosted me very
pohtely, and congratulated me on the imminent danger
I had escaped; attributing the happy issue of my com-
plaints to those which he had himself cut, with the profuse
appUcation of bleeding, cupping, bhstering, and all sorts
of torments, consequent and inconsequent. Another
leather out of my poor wing ! I was obhged to pay toll to

Don Valeric de Luna's Story 97

the surgeon also. After so many purgatives, my purse
was brought to such a state of debility, that it might be
considered as dead and gone; a mere skeleton, drained of
allits vital juices.

My spirits began to flag, on the contemplation of my
wretched case. In the service of my two last masters I
had wedded myself to the pomps and vanities of this
wicked world; and could no longer, as heretofore, look
poverty in the face with the sternness of a cynic. It must
be owned, however, that I was in the wrong to give way
to melancholy, after experiencing so often that fortune had
never cast me down, but for the purpose of raising me up
again; so that my pitiful plight at the present moment, if
rightly considered, was only to be hailed as the harbinger
of approaching prosperity.

BOOK THE EIGHTH
CHAPTER I

GIL BLAS SCRAPES AN ACQUAINTANCE OF SOME VALUE, AND
FINDS WHEREWITHAL TO MAKE HIM AMENDS FOR THE
COUNT DE GALIANO'S INGRATITUDE. DON VALERIO DE
LUNA'S STORY

It seemed so strange to have heard not a syllable from
Nunez during this long interval, that I concluded he must
be in the country. I went to look after him as soon as I
could walk, and found the fact to be, that he had gone into
Andalusia three weeks ago, with the Duke of Medina
Sidonia.

One morning when rubbing my eyes after a sound sleep,
Melchior de la Ronda started into my recollection; and
that bringing to mind my promise at Grenada, of going to
see his nephew, if ever I should return to Madrid, it seemed
advisable not to defer fulfiUing my promise for a single
day. I inquired where Don Balthazar de Zuniga lived, and
went thither straightway. On asking if Signor Joseph
Navarro was at home, he made his appearance immedi-
ately. We exchanged bows with a weU-bred coolness on

II E

98 History of Gil Bias

his part, though I had taken care to announce my name
audibly. There was no reconciling such a frosty reception
with the glowing portrait ascribed to this paragon of the
buttery. I was just going to withdraw in the full deter-
mination of not coming again, when assuming all at once
an open and smiling aspect, he said with considerable
earnestness: Ah ! Signor Gil Bias de Santillane, pray forgive
the formality of your welcome. My memory ill seconded
the warmth of my disposition towards you. Your name
had escaped me, and was not at the moment identified
with the gentleman, of whom mention was made in a letter
from Grenada more than four months ago.

How happy I am to see you ! added he, shaking hands
with me most cordially. My uncle Melchior, whom I love
and honour like my natural father, charges me, if by
chance I should have the honour of seeing you, to entertain
you as his own son, and in case of need, to stretch my
own credit and that of my friends to the utmost in your
behalf. He extols the qualities of your heart and mind
in terms sufficient of themselves to engage me in your
service, though his recommendation had not been added
to the other motives. Consider me, therefore, I entreat
you, as participating in all my uncle's sentiments You
may depend on my friendship; let me hope for an equal
share in yours.

I replied to Joseph's polite assurances in suitable terms
of acknowledgment; so that being both of us warm-hearted
and sincere, a close intimacy sprung up without waiting
for common forms. I felt no embarrassment about lay-
ing open the state of my affairs. This I had no sooner
done, than he said: I take upon myself the care of finding
you a situation; meanwhile, there is a knife and fork for
you here every day. You will Uve rather better than at
an ordinary. This offer was sure to be well relished by an
invalid just recovering with a fastidious palate and an
empty pocket. It could not but be accepted ; and I picked
up my crumbs so fast that at the end of a fortnight I began
to look like a rosy-gilled son of the church. It struck me
that Melchior's nephew larded his lean sides to some pur-
pose. But how could it be otherwise? he had three
strings to his bow, as holding the undermentioned plu-
ralities: the butler's place, the clerkship of the kitchen,

Don Valerio de Luna's Story 99

and the stewardship. Furthermore, without meaning to
question my friend's honesty, they do say that the comp-
troller of the household and he looked over each other's
hands.

My recovery was entirely confirmed, when my friend
Joseph, on my coming in to dinner as usual one day, said
with an air of congratulation: Signor Gil Bias, I have a
very tolerable situation in view for you. You must know
that the Duke of Lerma, first minister of the crown in
Spain, giving himself up entirely to state affairs, throws the
burden of his own on two confidential persons. Don
Diego de Monteser takes the charge of collecting his rents,
and Don Rodrigo de Calderona superintends the finances
of his household. These two officers are paramount in their
departments, having nothing to do with one another. Don
Diego has generally two deputies to transact the business;
and finding just now that one of them had been discharged,
I have been canvassing for you. Signor Monteser having
the greatest possible regard for me, granted my request at
once, on the strength of my testimony to your morals and
capacity. We will pay our respects to him after dinner.

We did not miss our appointment. I was received with
every mark of favour, and promoted in the room of the
dismissed deputy. My business consisted in visiting the
farms, in giving orders for the necessary repairs, in dun-
ning the farmers, and keeping them to time in their pay-
ments; in a word, the tenants were all under my thumb,
and Don Diego checked my accounts every month with a
minuteness which few receivers could have borne. But
this was exactly what I wanted. Though my uprightness
had been so ill requited by my late master, it was my only
inheritance, and I was determined not to sell the rever-
sion.

One day news came that the castle of Lerma had taken
fire, and was more than half burnt down. I immediately
went thither to estimate the loss. Informing myself to a
nicety, and on the spot, respecting all the particulars of the
unlucky accident, I drew up a detailed narrative, which
Monteser shewed to the Duke of Lerma. That minister,
though vexed at the circumstance, was struck with the
memorial, and inquired who was the author. Don Diego
thought it not enough to answer the question, but spoke

I oo History of Gil Bias

of me in such high terms, that his excellency recollected
it six months afterwards, on occasion of an incident I
shall now relate, had it not been for which I might never,
perhaps, have been employed at court. It was as follows:

There Hved at that time in Princes Street an elderly
lady, by name Inesilla de Cantarilla. Her birth was a
matter of mystery. Some said she was the daughter of a
musical instrument-maker, and others gave her a high miU-
tary extraction. However that might be, she was a very
extraordinary personage. Nature had gifted her with the
singular talent of winning men's hearts in defiance of time,
and in contradiction to her own laws; for she was now
entering upon the fourth quarter of her century. She
had been the reigning toast of the old court, and levied
tribute on the passions of the new. Age, though at dag-
gers drawn with beauty, was completely foiled in its assault
upon her charms; they might be somewhat faded, but the
touch of sjTmpathy they excited in their decline was more
pleasing than the vivid glow of their meridian lustre. An
air of dignity, a transporting wit and humour, an unbor-
rowed grace in her deportment, perpetuated the reign of
passion, and silenced the suggestions of reason.

Don Valeric de Luna, one of the Duke of Lerma's
secretaries, a young fellow of five-and-twenty, meeting
with Inesilla, fell violently in love with her. He made his
sentiments known, enacted all the mummery of despair, and
followed up the usual catastrophe of every amorous drama
so much according to the unities and rules, that it was
difficult, in the very torrent and whirlwind of his passion,
to beget a temperance that might give it smoothness. The
lady, who had her reason for not choosing to fall in with
his humour, was at a loss how to get out of the difficulty.
One day she was in hopes to have found the means by
calling the young man into her closet, and there pointing
to a clock upon the table. Mark the precise hour, said she ;
just seventy-five years ago was I brought upon the stage
of this fantastical world. In good earnest, would it sit
well upon my time of hfe to be engaged in affairs of gal-
lantry? Betake yourself to reflection, my good child;
stifle sentiments so unsuitable to your own circumstances
and mine. Sensible as this language was, the spark, no
longer bowing to the authority of reason, answered the

I

Don Valerio de Luna's Story loi

lady with all the impetuosity of a man racked by the most
excruciating torments: Cruel Inesilla, why have you re-
course to such frivolous remonstrances? Do you think
they can change your charms or my desires ? Delude not
yourself with so false a hope. As long as your lovehness
or my delusion lasts, I shall never cease to adore you. Well,
then, rejoined she, since you are obstinate enough to per-
sist in the resolution of wearying me with your importuni-
ties, my doors shall henceforth be shut against you. You
are banished, and I beg to be no longer troubled with your
company.

It may be supposed, perhaps, that after this, Don Valerio,
baffled, made good his retreat Hke a prudent general. Quite
the reverse! He became more troublesome than ever.
Love is to lovers just what wine is to drunkards. The
swain intreated, sighed, looked, and sighed again; when all
at once, changing his note from childish treble to the big
manly voice of bluster and ravishment, he swore that he
would have by foul means what he could not obtain by
fair. But the lady, repulsing him courageously, said with
a piercing look of strong resentment, Hold, imprudent
wretch! I shall put a curb on your mad career. Learn
that you are my own son.

Don Valerio was thunderstruck at these words; the
tempest of his rage subsided. But, conjecturing that
Inesilla had only started this device to rid herself of his
solicitations, he answered. That is a mere romance of the
moment to steal away from my ardent desires. No, no,
said she, interrupting him, I disclose a mystery which
should have been for ever buried, had you not reduced me
to so painful a necessity. It is six-and-twenty years since
I was in love with your father, Don Pedro de Luna, then
governor of Segovia; you were the fruit of our mutual
passion: he owned you, brought you up with care and
tenderness, and having no children born in wedlock, he
had nothing to hinder him from distinguishing your good
qualities by the gifts of fortune. On my part, I have not
forsaken you; as soon as you were of an age to be intro-
duced into the world, I drew you into the circle of my
acquaintance, to form your manners to that polish of good
company, so necessary for a gentleman, which is only to be
gained in female society. I have done more: I have em-

1 02 History of Gil Bias

ployed all my credit to introduce you to the prime minis-
ter. In short, I have interested myself for you as I should
have done for my own son. After this confession, take
your measures accordingly. If you can purge your affec-
tions from their dross, and look on me as a mother, you are
not banished from my presence, and I shaU treat you with
my accustomed tenderness. But if you are not equal to an
effort, which nature and reason demand from you, fly
instantly, and release me from the horror of beholding you.

Inesilla spoke to this effect. Meanwhile Don Valerio
preserved a sudden silence: it might have been inter-
preted into a virtuous struggle, a conquest over the weak-
ness of his heart. But his purposes were far different; he
had another scene to act before his mother. Unable to
withstand the total overthrow of aU his wild projects,
he basely yielded to despair. Drawing his sword, he
plunged it in his own bosom. His fate resembled that of
(Edipus, with this distinction; that the Theban put out his
own eyes from remorse for the crime he had perpetrated,
while the Castihan, on the contrary, committed suicide
from disappointment at the frustration of his purposes.

The unhappy Don Valerio was not released from his
sufferings immediately. He had leisure left for recollec-
tion, and for making his peace with heaven, before he
rushed into the presence of his Maker. As his death
vacated one of the secretaryships on the Duke of Lerma's
establishment, that minister, not having forgotten my
memoir on the subject of the fire, nor the high character he
had heard of me, nominated me to succeed to the post in
question.

CHAPTER II

GIL BLAS IS INTRODUCED TO THE DUKE OF LERMA, WHO
ADMITS HIM AMONG THE NUMBER OF HIS SECRETARIES,
AND REQUIRES A SPECIMEN OF HIS TALENTS, WITH WHICH
HE IS WELL SATISFIED

MoNTESER was the person to inform me of this agreeable
circumstance, which he did in the following terms: My
friend Gil Bias, though I do not lose you without regret,
I am too much your well-wisher not to be delighted at your

One of the Duke of Lerma's Secretaries 103

promotion in the room of Don Valerio. You cannot fail
to make a princely fortune, provided you act upon two
hints which I have to give you: the first, to affect so total
a devotion to his excellency's good pleasure, as to leave
no room to conceive it possible that you have any other
object or interest in life — the second, to pay your court
assiduously to Signor Don Rodrigo de Calderona; for
that personage models and remodels, fashions and touches
upon the mind of his master, just as if it was clay under
the hands of the designer. If you are fortunate enough to
chime in with that favourite secretary, you will travel
post to wealth and honour, and find relays upon the road.

Sir, said I to Don Diego, returning him thanks at the
same time for his good advice, be pleased to give some
little opening to Don Rodrigo's character. I have heard
a few anecdotes of him. One would suppose him, from
some accounts, not to be the best creature in the world;
but the people at large are inveterate caricaturists when
they draw courtiers at full length; though, after all, the
likeness will strike, in spite of the aggravation. Tell me,
therefore, I beseech you, what is your own sincere opinion
of Signor Calderona. That is rather an awkward ques-
tion, answered my principal ^ith an ironical smile. I
should tell any one but yourself, without flinching, that he
was a gentleman of the strictest honour, upon whose fair
fame the breath of calumny had never dared to blow ; but I
really cannot put off such a copy of my countenance upon
you. Relying as I do on your discretion, it becomes a
duty to deal candidly in the dehneation of Don Rodrigo; for
without that, it would be playing fast and loose with you
to recommend the cultivation of his good-will.

You are to know then, that when his excellency was no
more than plain Don Francisco de Sandoval, this man had
the humility to serve him as his lackey; since which time
he has risen by degrees to the post of principal secretary.
A prouder excrescence of the dunghill never sprung into
vegetation on a summer's day. He considers himself as
the Duke of Lerma's colleague; and in point of fact, he
may truly be said to parcel out the loaves and fishes of
administration, since he gives away offices and govern-
ments at the suggestions of his own caprice. The pubhc
grumbles and growls upon occasion; but who cares for

1 04 History of Gil Bias

the grumbling and growling of the public ? Let him steal
a pair of gloves from the prostitution of political honour,
and the* bronze upon his forehead will be proof against
the peltings of scandal. What I have said will decide
your deahngs towards so superciHous a compound of
dust and ashes. Yes, to be sure, said I; leave me alone
for that. It will be strange indeed if I cannot wriggle
myself into his good graces. If one can but get on the
bhnd side of a man who is to be made a property, it must
be want of skill in the player if the game is lost. Exactly
so, rephed Monteser; and now I will introduce you to the
Duke of Lerma.

We went at once to the minister, whom we found in
his audience-chamber. His levee was more crowded than
the king's. There were commanders and knights of
St James and of Calatrava, making interest for govern-
ments and viceroy alties ; bishops who, labouring under
oppression of the breath and tightness of the chest in their
own dioceses, had been recommended the air of an arch-
bishopric by their physicians; while the sounder lungs of
lower dignitaries were strong enough to inhale the Theban
atmosphere of a suffragan see. I observed besides some
reduced officers dancing attendance to Captain Chinchilla's
tune, and catching cold in fishing for a pension, which was
never likely to pay the doctor for their cure. If the duke
did not satisfy their wants, he put a pleasant face upon
their importunities; and it struck me that he returned a
civil answer to all applicants.

We waited patiently till the routine of ceremony was
despatched. Then said Don Diego: My lord, this is Gil
Bias de Santillane, the young man appointed by your
excellency to succeed Don Valerio. The duke now took
more particular notice of me, saying obligingly, that I had
akeady earned my promotion by my services. He then
took me to a private conference in his closet, or rather to
an examination. My birth, parentage, and course of hfe
were the objects of his inquiry; nor would he be satisfied
without the particulars, and those in the spirit of sincerity.
What a career to run over before a patron ! Yet it was
impossible to lie, in the presence of a prime minister. On
the other hand, my vanity was concerned in suppressing
so many circumstances, that there was no venturing on an

One of the Duke of Lerma's Secretaries 105

unqualified confession. What cunning scene had Roscius
then to act ? A httle painting and tattooing might decently
be employed to disguise the nakedness of truth, and spare
her unsophisticated blushes. But he had studied her
complexion, as well as the beauties of her natural form.
Monsieur de Santillane, said he with a smile on the close
of my narrative, I perceive that hitherto you have had
your principles to choose. My lord, answered I, colouring
up to the eyes, your excellency enjoined me to deal sin-
cerely ; and I have complied with your orders. I take your
doing so in good part, repUed he. It is all very well, my
good fellow: you have escaped from the snares of this
wicked world more by luck than management: it is won-
derful that bad example should not have corrupted you
irreparably. There are many men of strict virtue and
exemplary piety, who would have turned out the greatest
rogues in existence, if their destinies had exposed them to
but half your trials.

Friend Santillane, continued the minister, ponder no
longer on the past; consider yourself as to the very bone
and marrow the king's; live henceforth but for his service.
Come this way; I will instruct .you in the nature of your
business. He carried me into a little closet adjoining his
own, which contained a score of thick folio registers. This
is your workshop, said he. All these registers compose an
alphabetical peerage, giving the heraldry and history of
all the nobihty and gentry in the several kingdoms and
principalities of the Spanish monarchy. In these volumes
are recorded the services rendered to the state by the pre-
sent possessors and their ancestors, descending even to
the personal animosities and rencounters of the individuals
and their houses. Their fortunes, their manners, in a
word, all the pros and cons of their character are set down
according to the letter of ministerial scrutiny ; so that they
no sooner enter on the list of court candidates, than my
eye catches up the very chapter and verse of their pre-
tensions. To furnish this necessary information, I have
pensioned scouts everywhere on the look-out, who send me
private notices of their discoveries ; but as these documents
are for the most part drawn up in a gossiping and pro-
vincial style, they require to be translated into gentle-
manly language, or the king would not be able to sup-

1 06 History of Gil Bias

port the perusal of the registers. This task demands the
pen of a poHte and perspicuous writer; I doubt not but you
will justify your claim to the appointment.

After this introduction, he put a memorial into my
hand, taken from a large portfolio full of papers, and then
withdrew from my closet, that my first specimen might be
manufactured in all the freedom of soHtude. I read the
memorial, which was not only stuffed with a most un-
couth jargon, but breathed a brimstone spirit of rancour
and personal revenge. This was most foul, strange, and
unnatural! for the homily was written by a monk. He
hacked and hewed a Catalan family of some note most
unmercifully; with what reason or truth, it must be re-
served for a more penetrating inquirer to decide. It read
for all the world like an infamous libel, and I had some
scruples about becoming the publisher of the calumny;
nevertheless, young as I was at court, I plunged head
foremost, at the risk of sinking and destroying his rever-
ence's soul. The wickedness, if there was any, would be
put down to his running account with the recording angel :
I therefore had nothing to do but to viHfy, in the purest
Spanish phraseology, some two or three generations of
honest men and loyal subjects.

I had already blackened four or five pages, when the
duke, impatient to know how I got on, came back and said
— Santillane, shew me what you have done; I am curious
to see it. At the same time, casting his eye over the trans-
cript, he read the beginning with much attention. It
seemed to please him ; strange that he could be so pleased !
Prepossessed as I have been in your favour, observed he,
I must own that you have surpassed my expectations.
It is not merely the elegance and distinctness of the hand-
writing ! There is something animated and glowing in the
composition. You will do ample credit to my choice, and
fully make up for the loss of your predecessor. He would
not have cut my panegyric so short, if his nephew the
Count de Lemos had not interrupted him in the middle of
it. By the warmth and frequency of his excellency's
welcome, it was evident that they were the best friends in
the world. They were immediately closeted together on
some family business, of which I shall speak in the sequel.

All is not Gold that Glitters 107

The king's affairs at this time were obliged to play second
to those of the minister.

While they were caballing it struck twelve. As I knew
that the secretaries and their clerks quitted office at that
hour to go and dine wherever their business and desire
should point them, I left my prize performance behind me,
and went to the gayest tavern at the court end of the town,
for I had nothing further to do with Monteser, who had
paid my salary, and taken his leave of me. But a common
eating-house would have been a very improper place for
me to be seen in. " Consider yourself as to the very bone
and marrow the king's." This metaphorical expression of
the duke had given birth to a real and tangible ambition
in my soul, which put forth shoots Hke a plantation in a
fat and unvexed soil.

CHAPTER III

ALL IS NOT GOLD THAT GLITTERS. SOME UNEASINESS RE-
SULTING FROM THE DISCOVERY OF THAT PRINCIPLE IN
PHILOSOPHY, AND ITS PRACTICAL APPLICATION TO EXIST-
ING CIRCUMSTANCES

I TOOK especial care, on my first entrance, to instil into
the tavern-keeper's conception that I was secretary to the
prime minister; nor was it easy, in that view of my rank
and consequence, to order anything sufficiently sumptuous
for dinner. To have selected from the bill of fare, might
have looked as if I descended to the meanness of calcula-
tion; I therefore told him to send up the best the house
afforded. My orders were punctually obeyed; and the
anxious assiduity of the attendance pampered my fancy
as much as the dishes did my palate. As to the bill, I had
nothing to do with it but to pay it. Down went a pistole
upon the table, and the waiters pocketed the difference,
which was somewhat more than a quarter. After this
display of grandeur I strutted out, practising those obstrep-
erous clearings of the throat which announce, by empty
sound, the approach of a substantial coxcomb.

There was at the distance of twenty yards a large house
with lodgings to let, principally frequented by foreign

io8 History of Gil Bias

nobility. I rented at once a suite of apartments, consist-
ing of five or six rooms elegantly furnished. From my
style of living, any one would have thought I had two
or three thousand ducats of yearly income. The first
month was paid in advance. Afterwards I returned to
business, and employed the whole afternoon in going on
with what I had begun in the morning. In a closet ad-
joining mine there were two other secretaries; but their
office was only to copy out fair. I got acquainted with
them as we were shutting up for the evening; and, by way
of smoothing the first overtures towards friendship, invited
them home with me to my tavern, where I ordered the
choicest delicacies of the season, with a profusion of the
most exquisite wines.

We sat down to table, and began bandying about more
merriment than wit; for with all due deference to my
guests, it was but too visible that they owed their official
situations to any circumstance rather than to their abili-
ties. They were adepts, it must be confessed, in all the
history and mystery of scrivening and clerkship ; but as for
polite literature and university education, there was not
even a suspicion of it in all their talk.

To make amends for that defect, they had a keen eye
to the main chance; and though sensible how high an
honour it was to be on the prime minister's establishment,
there were some dashes of acid in the cup of good fortune.
It is now full five months, said one of them, that we have
been serving at our own cost. We do not touch one
farthing of salary ; and, what is worst of aU, our very board
wages are shamefully in arrear. There is no knowing
what footing we are upon. As for me, said the other, I
would willingly be tied up to the halbert, and receive a
per centage in lashes, for the liberty of changing my berth ;
but I dare not either take myself off or petition for my dis-
charge, after having transcribed such state secrets as have
passed under my inspection. I might chance to become
too well acquainted with the tower of Segovia or the castle
of Alicant.

How do you manage for a subsistence, then? said I.
You must of course have means of your own. These they
represented as very slender; but that, fortunately for them,
they lodged with a kind-hearted widow, who boarded

All is not Gold that Glitters 109

them on tick, at the rate of a hundred pistoles a year for
each. These anecdotes of a court life, not one of which
escaped me, completely ventilated all the rising fumes of
pride. It could not be supposed that more consideration
would be shewn to me than to others, and consequently
there was nothing to be so puffed up with in my post;
there seemed to be much cry and little wool, a discovery
which rendered it expedient to husband my finances with a
narrower economy. A picture Hke this was enough to
cure my taste for treating. I repented not having left
these secretaries to find their own supper; for they played
a most cruel knife and fork at mine ! and, when the bill was
brought, I squabbled with the landlord about the charges.

We parted at midnight; and the early breaking up was
to be laid at my door; for I did not propose another bottle.
They went home to their widow, and I withdrew to my
magnificent lodgings, which I was now mad with myself
for having taken, and was fully determined to give up at
the month's end. My bed of down was now converted
into a couch of thorns; sleep had abandoned his narcotic
tenement, and sold the fee-simple of my repose to the
demon of eternal wakefulness. The remainder of the
night was passed in contriving not to serve the state too
patriotically. For that purpose I bethought me of Mon-
teser's good counsel. I got up with the intention of making
my bow to Don Rodrigo de Calderona. My present temper
was just pat to the purpose of ingratiating myself with so
high and mighty a gentleman; whose patronage was indi-
spensable to my existence. I therefore presented my per-
son in that secretary's ante-chamber.

His apartments communicated with the duke's, and
rivalled them in the lustre of their decorations. The
field officer could scarcely be distinguished from the sub-
altern by any outward distinction in his paraphernalia.
I sent in my name as Don Valerio's successor; but that did
not hinder me from being kept kicking my heels for a good
hour. Trusty, but novice officer of the king, said I, while
nmiinating on coiurt manners, learn a lesson of patience, if
so please you. You must begin with shewing paces your-
self, and afterwards make others bite the bridle.

At length the door of the inner room opened. I went
in, and advanced towards Don Rodrigo, who had just been

1 1 o History of Gil Bias

writing an amorous epistle to his charming Siren, and was
giving it to Pedrillo at that very moment. I had never
manufactured my face and air into such a counterfeit of
reverence before the Archbishop of Grenada, nor on my
introduction to the Count de Galiano, nor even in pre-
sence of the prime minister himself: the crisis of my fawn-
ing was reserved for Signor de Calderona. I paid my
respects to him with my body bent down to the very
ground, as if crouching under the ken of a superior intelli-
gence; and solicited his protection in strains of humble
hypocrisy, at which my cheek now burns with shame, to
think that man can so debase himself before his fellow-
man. My servility would have recoiled to my own un-
doing, had it been practised towards a compound of any
manly and independent ingredients. As for this fellow,
he swallowed flattery by the lump without mastication;
and assured me, just as if he meant what he said, that he
would leave no stone unturned to do me service.

Hereupon, thanking him with unlimited expressions of
attachment for his kind and generous sentiments, I sold
my very soul and all my little stock of conscience to his
free disposal. But as this farce might be tiresome if pro-
longed, I took my leave, apologizing for having broken in
upon his more serious avocations. As soon as I had
finished this abominable scene, I slunk back to my desk,
where I finished my prescribed task. The duke was at my
elbow the next morning. The end of my performance was
not less to his mind than the beginning; and he praised it
accordingly: This is extremely well indeed! Copy this
abridgment in your best hand into the register of Cata-
lonia. You shall not want employment of this kind. I
had a very long conversation with his excellency, and was
delighted at his mild and familiar deportment. What a
contrast to Calderona ! They might have sat to a painter
for Pan and Apollo.

To-day I dined at a cheap ordinary, and sunk the secre-
tary upon my messmates, till I should ascertain what solid
profit might accrue from all my bows and scrapes. I had
funds for three months, or thereabouts. That interval I
allowed myself for casting my bread upon the waters. But
as the shortest speculations are the safest, if my salary
was not paid by that time, a long farewell to the court.

Gil Bias the Duke of Lerma's Favourite 1 1 1

its frippery, and its falsehood! Thus were my plans
arranged. For two months I laboured hard and fast to
stand well with Calderona: but his senses were so callous
to all my assiduity, that it seemed labour in vain to build
on so hopeless a foundation. This idea produced a change
in my conduct. I left some greener fool to fumigate the
nostrils of this idol; and placed all my own dependence on
making my ground sure with the duke, by the benefit of
our frequent conferences.

CHAPTER IV

GIL BLAS BECOMES A FAVOURITE WITH THE DUKE OF LERMA,
AND THE CONFIDANT OF AN IMPORTANT SECRET

Though his grace's interviews with me were short as
the fleeting visions of supernatural communication, my turn
and character won its way gradually into his excellency's
good hking. One day after dinner, he said : Attend to me,
Gil Bias. I really Uke you very much. You are a zealous,
confidential lad, full of understanding and discretion. My
trust cannot be misplaced in such hands. I threw myself
at his feet, at the music of these words; and kissing his
outstretched hand, answered thus: Is it possible that your
excellency can think so favourably of your servant ?
What a host of enemies will such a preference conjure
up against me ! But Don Rodrigo is the only man whose
privy grudge is formidable enough to alarm me.

You have nothing to fear from that quarter, replied the
duke. I know Calderona. He has loved me from his
cradle. Every movement of his heart is in unison with
mine. He cherishes whatever I love, and hates in exact
proportion to my dishke. So far from being alarmed at
his ill-will, you ought, on the contrary, to hug yourself on his
peculiar partiality. This let me at once into the abysses
of Don Rodrigo's character. He shuffled and cut the cards
to his own deal, and paid his debts of honour out of his
excellency's pool. One could not be too wary with this
gentleman.

To begin, pursued the duke, with a proof of my thorough

1 1 2 History of Gil Bias

reliance on your faith, I will open to you a long-projected
design. It is necessary for you to be informed of it, to
qualify you for the commissions with which I shall here-
after have occasion to intrust you. For a great length of
time have I beheld my authority universally respected,
my decisions implicitly adopted, places, pensions, govern-
ments, vice-royalties, and church preferments all awaiting
my disposal. Without umbrage to my royal master, I may
be said to be absolute in Spain. My individual fortunes
can be pushed no higher. But I would willingly fix firm
the structure I have raised; for the storms are already
beginning to beat about the citadel of my peace. My only
safety must consist in nominating my nephew, the Count
de Lemos, as my successor in the ministry.

This profound courtier, observing my astonishment,
went on thus. I see plainly, Santillane, I see plainly what
surprises you. It seems strange and unaccountable that
I should prefer my nephew to my own son, the Duke
d'Uzeda. But you are to learn that this last has too
narrow a genius to fill up my place in poHtics; and there
are other reasons why I set my face against him. He has
found out the secret of making himself agreeable to the
king, who wants him for his interior cabinet; and back-
stairs influence is what I cannot bear. Royal favour is a
sort of political mistress; exclusive possession is its only
charm. The very existence of the passion is identified
with inextinguishable jealousy; nor can we the better
endure to share the bliss, because our rival has been nursed
in our own bosom.

Thus do I lay bare the very recesses of my soul. I have
already tried to ruin the Duke d'Uzeda with the king; but
having failed, am pointing my artillery towards another
object. I am determined that the Count de Lemos shall
stand first with the Prince of Spain. Being gentleman of
his bedchamber, he has opportunities of talking with him
continually; and, besides that he has a winning manner with
him, I know a sure method of enabling him to succeed
in his enterprise. By this device, my nephew will be
pitted against my son. The cousins harbouring un-
favourable suspicions of each other, will both be forced to
place themselves under my protection; and the necessity
of the case will render them submissive to my will. This

And the Miseries of a Court Life 1 1 3

is my project; nor will your assistance be of slender avail
to its success. It is you whom I shall make the private
channel of communication between the Count de Lemos
and myself.

After this confidence, which sounded for all the world Uke
the clink of current coin, my mind was easy about the future.
At length, said I, behold me taking shelter under Plutus's
gutter; the golden shower may drench me to the skin,
before I shall cry hold, enough ! It is impossible that the
bosom friend of a man, by whom the whole music of the
poUtical machine is tempered, should b6 left to thnmi upon
the discord of poverty. FuU of these harmonious visions,
my fifths and octaves were but Uttle untuned by the sensible
declension of my purse.

CHAPTER V

THE JOYS, THE HONOURS, AND THE MISERIES OF A COURT
LIFE, IN THE PERSON OF GIL BLAS

The minister's growing partiahty towards me was soon
noticed. He displayed it ostentatiously, by committing
his portfolio to my custody, wHich it was his habit to carry
in his own hand when he went to council. This novelty
causing me to be looked upon as a rising favourite, excited
the envy of certain persons, so that I was preciously
sprinkled with the heUish dew of court malevolence. My
two neighbours the secretaries were not the last to com-
phment me on my budding honours, and invited me to
supper at the widow's, not so much by way of returning
my hospitahty, as with an eye to business in the cultivation
of my acquaintance. Parties were made for me everywhere.
Even the haughty Don Rodrigo was cap-in-hand to me.
He now called me nothing less than Signor de Santillane,
though the moon had scarcely changed her face since he
thee'd and thou'd me, without ever bethinking liim that he
was talking to something above a pauper. He heaped me
up and pressed me down with civihties, especially within
eyeshot of our common patron. But the fool was wiser
than to be caught with chaff. The good breeding of my
returns WcLs nicely proportioned to my thorough detestation
of my himible servant ; a rascal who had lived in court all

1 14 History of Gil Bias

his life could not have played the rascal better than I did.

I likewise accompanied my lord duke when he had an
audience of the king, which was usually three times a day.
In the morning he went into his majesty's chamber as soon
as he was awake. There he dropped down on his marrow-
bones by the bed-side, talked over what was to be done in
the course of the day, and put into the royal mouth the
speeches the royal tongue was to make. He then withdrew.
After dinner he came back again; not for state affairs, but
for what, what ? and a httle gossip. He was well instructed
in all the tittle-tattle of Madrid, which was sold to him at
the earhest of the season. Lastly, in the evening he saw the
king again for the third time, put whatever colour he pleased
on the transactions of the day, and, as a matter of course,
requested his instructions for the morrow. While he was
with the king, I kept in the ante-chamber, where people
of the first quality, sinking that they might rise, threw
themselves in the way of my observation, and thought the
day not lost if I had deigned to exchange a few words of
common civility with them. Was it to be wondered at,
if my self-importance fattened upon such food? There
are many folks at court who stalk about on stilts of much
frailer materials.

One day my vanity was still more highly pampered.
The king, to whom the duke had puffed oS my style, was
curious to see a sample of it. His excellency made me
bring the register of Catalonia and myself into the royal
presence; telhng me to read the first memorial I had digested.
If so catholic a critic overpowered my modesty at first, the
minister's encouragement recalled my scattered spirits, and
I read with good tone and emphasis what his majesty
deigned to hear with some symptoms of approbation. He
spoke handsomely of my performance, and recommended
my fortunes to the special care of his minister. My
humility was not the greater for the augmentation of my
consequence ; and a particular conversation some days after-
wards with the Count de Lemos swelled high the spring
tide of all my ambitious anticipations.

I waited on that nobleman from his uncle at the Prince
of Spain's court, and presented credentials from the duke,
directing him to deal unreservedly with me, as with a man
who was embarked in their design and selected by himself

And the Miseries of a Court Life 115

exclusively as their go-between. The count then took me
to a room, where he locked the door, and then spoke
as follows: Since you are confidential with the Duke of
iLerma, I doubt not you deserve to be so, and shall un-
bosom myself to you without hesitation. You are to know
that matters go on just as we could wish. The Prince of
Spain distinguishes me above the most assiduous of his
courtiers. I had a private conversation with him this
morning, wherein he expressed some disgust at being
restrained by the king's avarice from following the incHna-
tions of his liberal heart, and living on a scale befitting his
august rank. On this head I chimed in with his regrets;
and taking advantage of the opportunity, promised to carry
him a thousand pistoles early to-morrow morning, as an
earnest of larger sums with which I have engaged to feed
his necessities forthwith. He was in ecstasy at my promises ;
and I am certain of securing his grace and favour in tail, if I
can but fulfil my engagement. Acquaint my uncle with
these particulars, and come back in the evening with his
sentiments on the subject.

I left the Count de Lemos with the last words still quiver-
ing on his lips, and went back to the Duke of Lerma, who,
on my report, sent to ask CaMerona for a thousand pis-
toles, which he charged me to carry to the count in the
evening. Away went I on my errand, muttering to myself
— So, so! now I have discovered the minister's infallible
receipt for the cure of all evils. Faith and troth, he is in
the right; and to all appearance he may draw as copiously
as he pleases from the spring, without exhausting the source.
I can easily guess what bag those pistoles come from; but
after all, is it not the order of nature that the parent
should nurture and maintain the child? The Count de
Lemos, at our parting, said to me in a low voice — Farewell,
my good and worthy friend. The Prince of Spain has a httle
hankering after the women; we must have a httle conver-
sation on that subject one of these days; I foresee that your
agency will be very appHcable on that head. I returned
with my head full of this last hint, which it was impossible
to misinterpret. Neither did I wish to do so, for it suited
my talents to a nicety. What the devil is to happen next ?
said I. Behold me on the point of becoming pimp to the
heir of the monarchy. Whether pimping was a virtue or

1 1 6 History of Gil Bias

a vice, I did not stop to inquire : the coarse surtout of
morality would have worn but shabbily while the passions
of so exalted a gallant were in the glare and glow of all
their newest gloss. What a promotion for me to be the pro-
vider of pleasure to a great prince ! Fair and softly. Master
Gil Bias, some one may say: after all, you will be but second
minister. May be so ; but at the bottom the honour of both
these posts is equal; the difference Hes in the profit only. .

While executing these honourable commissions, and get-
ting forward daily in the good graces of the prime minister,
what a happy being should I have been, if statesmen were
born with a set of intestines to turn the cameleon's diet
into chyle ! It was more than two months since I had got
rid of my grand lodging, and had taken up my quarters in a
little room scarcely good enough for a banker's clerk.
Though this was not quite as it should be, yet since I went
out betimes in the morning, and never returned at night
before bed-time, there was not much to quarrel about on
that score. All day I was the hero of my own stage, or
rather of the duke's. It was a principal part that I was
playing. But when I retired from this brilliant theatre to
my own cockloft, the great lord vanished, and poor Gil
Bias was left behind, without a royal image in his pocket,
and what was worse, without the means of conjuring up
his glorious resemblance. Besides that it would have
wounded my pride to have divulged my necessities, there
was not a creature of my acquaintance who could have
assisted me but Navarro, and him I had too palpably
neglected since my introduction at court, to venture on
soliciting his benevolence. I had been obliged to sell
my wardrobe article by article. There was nothing more
left than was absolutely necessary to make a decent ap-
pearance. I no longer went to the ordinary, because I had
no longer wherewithal to pay my score. How then did I
make shift to keep body and soul together ? There was
every morning, in our offices, a scanty breakfast set out,
consisting of a Httle bread and wine; this was the whole of
our commons on the minister's estabhshment. I never
knew what it was to exceed this stint during the day, and at
night I most frequently went supperless to bed.

Such was the fare of a man who made a splendid figure
at court; but his illustrious fortunes, like those of other

Gil Bias' hint to the Duke of Lerma 117

courtiers, were more a subject of pity than of grudge. I
could no longer resist the pressure of my circumstances, and
ultimately resolved on their disclosure at a seasonable oppor-
tunity. By good luck such an occasion offered at the
Escurial, whither the king and the Prince of Spain removed
some days afterwards.

CHAPTER VI

GIL BLAS GIVES THE DUKE OF LERMA A HINT OF HIS WRETCHED
CONDITION. THAT MINISTER DEALS WITH HIM ACCORD-
INGLY

When the king kept his court at the Escurial, all the world
was at free quarters: under such easy circumstances I did
not feel where the saddle galled. My bed was in a ward-
robe near the duke's chamber. One morning that minister,
having got up according to his cursed custom at daybreak,
made me take my writing apparatus, and follow him into
the palace gardens. We went and sat down under an
avenue of trees; myself, as he would have it, in the posture
of a man writing on the crown of his hat; his attitude was
with a paper in his hand, and* any one would have supposed
he had been reading. At some distance, we must have
looked as if the scale of Europe was to turn upon our
decision; but between ourselves, who partook of it, the
talk was miserably trifling.

For more than an hour had I been tickhng his excel-
lency's fancy with all the conceits, engendered by a merry
nature and an eccentric course of life, when two magpies
perched on the trees above us. Their clack and clatter was
so obstreperous, as to force our attention whether we would
or no. These birds, said the duke, seem to be in dudgeon
with one another. I should like to learn the cause of their
quarrel. My lord, said I, your curiosity reminds me of an
Indian story in Pilpay or some other fabulist. The min-
ister insisted on the particulars, and I related them in the
following terms:

There reigned in Persia a good monarch, who not being
blessed with capacities of sufficient compass to govern
his dominions in his own person, left the care of them to his
grand vizier. That minister, whose name was Atalmuc,

1 1 8 History of Gil Bias

was possessed of first-rate talents. He supported the
weight of that unwieldy monarchy, without sinking under
the burden. He preserved it in profound peace. His art
consisted in uniting the love of the royal authority with
the reverence of it; while the people at large looked up to
the vizier as to an affectionate father, though a devoted
servant of his prince. Atalmuc had a young Cachemirian
among his secretaries, by name Zeangir, to whom he was
particularly attached. He took pleasure in his conversation,
invited him frequently to the chase, and opened to him
his most secret thoughts. One day as they were hunting
together in a wood, the vizier, at the croaking of two ravens
on a tree, said to his secretary — I should hke to know what
those birds are talking about in their jargon. My lord,
answered the Cachemirian, your wishes may be fulfilled.
Indeed! How so? repHed Atalmuc. Because, rejoined
Zeangir, a dervise read in many mysteries, has taught me
the language of birds. If you wish it, I will lay my ear
close to these, and will repeat to you word for word whatever
they may happen to say.

The vizier agreed to the proposal. The Cachemirian got
near the ravens, and affected to suck in their discourse.
Then, returning to his master, My lord, said he, would you
believe it ? We are ourselves the topic of their talk. Im-
possible! exclaimed the Persian minister. Prithee now,
what do they say of us ? One of the two, replied the sec-
retary, spoke thus: Here he is, the very man; the grand
vizier Atalmuc, the guardian eagle of Persia, hovering over
her like the parent bird over its nest, watching without
intermission for the safety of its brood. For the purpose
of unbending from his wearisome toils, he is hunting in this
wood with his faithful Zeangir. How happy must that
secretary be, to serve so partial and indulgent a master!
Fair and softly, observed the other raven shrewdly, fair
and softly ! Make not too much parade about that Cache-
mirian's happiness. Atalmuc, it is true, talks and jokes
famiharly with him, honours him with his confidence, and
may very possibly intend to signalize his friendship by a
lucrative post ; but between the cup and the hp Zeangir may
perish with thirst. The poor devil lodges in a ready-fur-
nished apartment, where there is not an article of furniture
for his use. In a word, he leads a starving Hfe, with all the

I

Gil Bias' hint to the Duke of Lerma 119

paraphernalia of a plump-fed courtier. The grand vizier
never troubles his head about inquiring into the right or
wrong of his affairs; but satisfied with empty good wishes
towards him, leaves his favourite within the ruthless gripe of
poverty.

I stopped here, to see how the Duke of Lerma would take
it; and he asked me with a smile what effect the fable had
produced on the mind of Atalmuc; and whether the grand
vizier had not felt a Httle offended at the secretary's
presumption. No, my noble lord, answered I, with some
little embarrassment at the question ; historians say that his
ingenuity was amply rewarded. He was more lucky than
discreet, replied the duke with a serious air; there are some
ministers who would esteem it no joke to be lectured at that
rate. But the king will not be long before he is getting up ;
my duty demands my attendance. After this hint he walked
off with hasty strides towards the palace without throwing
away a word more upon me, and to all appearance in high
dudgeon at my Indian parable.

I followed him up to the very door of his majesty's cham-
ber, and went thence to arrange my papers in the places
whence they had been taken. Then I entered a closet
where our two copying secretaries were at work; for they
also were of the migratory party. What is the matter with
you, Signor de Santillane? said they at the sight of me.
You are quite down in the mouth ! Has anything untoward
happened ?

I was too much mortified at the ill success of my narra-
tive, to be cautious in the expression of my grief. On the
recital of what had passed with the duke, they s5nTipathized
in my disappointment. You have some reason to fret,
said one of them. Heaven grant you may be better treated
than a secretary of Cardinal Spinosa. This unlucky sec-
retary, tired of working for fifteen months without pay,
took the hberty of representing his necessities to his Emin-
ence one afternoon, and of asking for a httle money to-
wards his subsistence. It is very proper, said the minister,
that you should be paid. Here, pursued he, putting into
his hands an order on the royal treasury for a thousand
ducats; go and receive that sum; but take notice at the
same time that it balances accounts between us. The
secretary would have pocketed his thousand ducats without

1 20 History of Gil Bias

remorse, had the thousand ducats been tangible, and the
liberty of changing services secure; but just as he stepped
down from the cardinal's threshold, he was tapped on the
shoulder by an alguazil, and carried away to the tower
of Segovia, where he has been a prisoner for a length of
time.

This httle historical anecdote set my teeth chattering.
All was lost and gone ! There was no comfort from within
nor from without ! My own impatience' had been my ruin !
just as if I had not borne starving, till patience could avail
no longer. Alas! said I, wherefore must I have blurted
out that ill-starred fable, which went so much against the
grain of the minister? He might have been just on the
point of extricating me from all my miseries ; it might have
been the moment of that tide in the affairs of men, which
sets in for sudden and enormous elevation. What wealth,
what honours have slipped through the fingers by my
blunder ! I ought to have been aware that great folks do
not love to be forestalled, but require the common privi-
leges of elementary subsistence to be received as favours at
their hands. It would have been more prudent to have
kept my lenten entertainment longer without bothering the
duke about it, and even to have died with hunger, that he
might be blamed for letting me.

Supposing any hope to have remained, my master, when
I saw him after dinner, put an extinguisher over it at once.
He was very serious with me, contrary to his usual custom,
and spoke scarcely at all; an omen of dire dismay for the
remainder of the evening. The night did not pass more
tranquilly: the chagrin of seeing my agreeable illusions
vanish, and the fear of swelling the calendar of state pris-
oners, left no room but for sighs and lamentations.

The following was the critical day. The duke sent for me
in the morning. I went into his chamber, with the ague
fit of a criminal before his judge. Santillane, said he,
showing me a paper in his hand, take this order .... I shud-
dered at the word order, and said within myself: Oh heaven !
here is the Cardinal Spinosa over again; the carriage is
ordered out for Segovia, Such was my alarm at this mo-
ment, that I interrupted the minister, and throwing myself
at his feet. May it please your lordship, said I, bathed in
tears, I most humbly beseech your excellency to forgive

Gil Bias' hint to the Duke of Lerma 1 2 1

me for my boldness ; necessity alone impelled me to acquaint
you with my wretched circumstances.

The duke could not help laughing at my distress. Be
comforted, Gil Bias, answered he, and hearken attentively.
Though by betraying your necessities a reproach lights upon
me for not having prevented them, I do not take it ill, my
friend, I rather ought to be angry with myself for not
having inquired how you were going on. But to begin
making amends for my want of attention, there is an order
on the royal treasury for fifteen hundred ducats, payable
at sight. This is not all; I promise you the same sum
annually ; and moreover, when people of rank and substance
shall solicit your interest, I have no objection to your ad-
dressing me on their behalf.

In the excess of joy occasioned by such tidings, I kissed the
feet of the minister, who, having commanded me to rise,
continued in familiar conversation. I endeavoured to
rally my free and easy humour; but the transition from
sorrow to rapture was too instantaneous to be natural. I felt
as comical as a culprit, with a pardon singing in his ears, just
when he was on the point of being launched into eternity.
My master attributed all my flurry to the sole dread of having
offended him; though the fear of perpetual imprisonment
had its share of influence oti my nerves. He owned that
he had affected to look cool, to see whether I should be hurt
at the alteration; that thereby he formed his opinion with
respect to the liveUness of my attachment to his person,
and that his own regard for me would always be propor-
tionate.

CHAPTER VII

A GOOD USE MADE OF THE FIFTEEN HUNDRED DUCATS. A
FIRST INTRODUCTION TO THE TRADE OF OFFICE, AND
AN ACCOUNT OF THE PROFIT ACCRUING THEREFROM

The king, as if on purpose to play into the hands of my
impatience, returned to Madrid the very next day. I flew
like a harpy to the royal treasury, where they paid me down
upon the nail the sum drawn for in my order. Ambition
and vanity now obtained complete empire over my soul.
My paltry lodging was fit only for secretaries of an inferior

122 History of Gil Bias

cast, unpractised in the mysterious language of birds; for
which reason, my grand suite of apartments fortunately
being vacant, I engaged them for the second time. My
next business was to send for an eminent tailor, who
arrayed the pretty persons of all the fine gentlemen in
town. He took my measure, and then introduced me to a
draper, who sold me five ells of cloth, the exact quantity,
as he said, to make a suit for a man of my size. Five ells
for a hght Spanish dress! Whither did this draper and
tailor expect to go ? ... . But we must not be uncharitable.
Tailors who have a reputation to support require more
materials for the exercise of their genius than the vulgar
snippers of the shopboard. I then bought some hnen, of
which I was very bare ; an assortment of silk stockings, and
a laced hat.

With such an equipage, there was no doing without a
footman; so that I desired Vincent Ferrero, my landlord,
to look out for one. Most of the foreigners who were re-
commended to his lodgings, on their arrival at Madrid,
were wont to hire Spanish servants; and this was the means
of turning his house into a register office. The first who
offered was a lad of so mortified and devotional an aspect,
that I would have nothing to say to him; he put me in
mind of Ambrose de Lamela. I am quite out of conceit,
said I to Ferrero, with these pious coat-brushers; I have
been taken in by them already.

I had scarcely turned virtue in a livery out of doors, when
another came upstairs. This seemed to be a good sprightly
fellow, with as httle mock modesty as if he had been bred at
court, and a certain something about him which indicated
that he did not carry principle to any dangerous excess.
He was just to my mind. His answers to my questions were
pat and to the purpose: he evinced a talent for intrigue
beyond my most sanguine hopes. This was exactly the
subj ect for my purpose ; so I fixed him at once. Neither had
I any reason to repent of my bargain ; for it was very soon
evident that further off I must have fared worse. As the
duke had allowed me to soHcit on behalf of my friends, and
it was my design to push that permission to the utmost, a
staunch hound was necessary to put up the game; or in
phrase famihar to dull capacities, an active chap, with a turn
for routing out and bringing to my market all palm-tickHng

Introduction to the Trade of Office 123

petitioners for the loaves and fishes of the prime minister.
This was just where Scipio shone most; for my servant's
name was Scipio. He had Uved last with Donna Anna
de Guevara, the Prince of Spain's nurse, where he had
ample scope for the exercise of that accomphshment.

As soon as he became acquainted with my credit at court
and the use to which I meant to put it, he took the field like
his great ancestors, and began the campaign without the
loss of a day. Master, said he, a young gentleman of
Grenada is just come to Madrid; his name is Don Roger de
Rada. He has been engaged in an affair of honour which
compels him to throw himself on the Duke of Lerma's
protection, and he is well disposed to come down hand-
somely for any grace and favour he may obtain. I have
talked with him on the subject. He had a mind to have
made friends with Don Rodrigo de Calderona, whose in-
fluence had been represented to him in magnificent terms:
but I dissuaded him, by pointing out that secretary's
method of selHng his good offices for more than their weight
in gold; whereas, on the contrary, you would be satisfied
with any decent expression of gratitude for yours, and would
even do the business for the mere pleasure of doing it, if
you were in circumstances to follow the bent of your own
generous and disinterested temper. In short, I talked to
him in such a strain, that you will see the gentleman early
to-morrow morning. How is all this, Master Scipio ? said I.
You must have transacted a great deal of business in a short
time. You are no novice in back-stairs influence. It is
very strange that you have not feathered your own nest.
That ought not to surprise you at aU, answered he. I
love to make money circulate ; not to hoard it up.

Don Roger de Rada came according to his appointment.
I received him with a mixture of courtly plausibihty and
ministerial pride. My worthy sir, said I, before I engage
in your interests, I wish to know the nature of the affair
which brings you to court; because it may be such as to
preclude me from speaking to the minister in your favour.
Give me, therefore, if you please, the particulars faithfully,
and rest assured that I shall enter warmly into your interests,
if they are proper to be espoused by a man who moves in my
sphere. My young client promised to be sincere in his repre-
sentation, and began his narrative in the following words.

1 24 History of Gil Bias

CHAPTER VIII

HISTORY OF DON ROGER DE RADA.

Don Anastasio de Rada, a gentleman of Grenada, was
living happily in the town of Antequera, with Donna Este-
phania his wife, who united every charm of person and
mind with the most unquestionable virtue. If her affection
was lively towards her husband, his love for her was violent
beyond all bounds. He was naturally prone to jealousy;
and though wantonness could never assume such a sem-
blance as his wife's, his thoughts were not quite at rest upon
the subject. He was apprehensive lest some secret enemy
to his repose might make some attempt upon his honour.
His eye was turned askance upon all his friends, except
Don Huberto de Hordales, who frequented the house with-
out suspicion in quality of Estephania's cousin, and was the
only man in whom he ought not to have confided.

Don Huberto did actually fall in love with his cousin,
and ventured to make his sentiments known, in contempt
of consanguinity and the ties of friendship. The lady, who
was considerate, instead of making an outcry which might
have led to fatal consequences, reproved her kinsman
gently, representing to him the extreme criminality of
attempting to seduce her and dishonour her husband, and
told him very seriously that he must not flatter himself
with the most distant hope.

This moderation only inflamed the seducer's appetite
the more. Taking it for granted that, as a woman who
had been accustomed to save appearances, she only wanted
to be more strongly urged, he began to adopt little free-
doms of more warmth than dehcacy; and had the assur-
ance one day to put the question home to her. She repulsed
him with unbridled indignation, and threatened to refer
the punishment of his offence to Don Anastasio. Her
suitor, alarmed at such an intimation, promised to drop
the subject; and Estephania in the candour of her soul
forgave him for the past.

Don Huberto, a man totally devoid of principle, could
not feel his passion to be foiled, without entertaining a mean
spirit of revenge. He knew the weak side of Don Anas-

History of Don Roger de Rada 125

tasio's temper. This was enough to engender the blackest
design that ever scoundrel plotted. One evening as he
was walking alone with this misguided husband, he said
with an air of extreme uneasiness: My dear friend, I can
no longer live without unburdening my mind; and yet I
would be for ever silent, but that you value honour far
above a treacherous repose. Your acute feelings and my
own, on points which concern domestic injuries, forbid me
to conceal what is passing in your family. Prepare to
hear what will occasion you as much grief as astonishment.
I am going to wound you in the tenderest part.

I know what you mean, interrupted Don Anastasio, in the
first burst of agony; your cousin is unfaithful. I no
longer acknowledge her for my cousin, repUed Hordales
with impassioned vehemence; I disown her, as unworthy to
share my friend's embraces. This is keeping me too long
upon the rack, exclaimed Don Anastasio : say on, what has
Estephania done? She has betrayed you, repHed Don
Huberto. You have a rival to whom she Hstens in private,
but I cannot give you his name; for the adulterer, under
favour of impenetrable darkness, has escaped the ken of
those who watched him. All I know is, that you are
duped: of that fact I am wpll assured. My own share in
the disgrace is a sufficient pledge of my veracity. Her
infidelity must be palpable indeed, when I turn Estephania's
accuser.

It is to no purpose, continued he, watching the successful
impression of his discourse, it is to no purpose to discuss the
subject further. I perceive yom: indignation at the
treacherous requital of your love, and your thoughts all
aiming at a just revenge. Take your own course. Heed
not in what relation to you your victim may stand: but
convince the whole city that there is no earthly being
whom you would not sacrifice to your honour.

Thus did the traitor exasperate a too credulous husband
against an innocent wife; depicting in such glowing col-
ours the infamy in which he would be plunged if he left the
insult unpunished, as to heighten his anger into madness.
Behold Don Anastasio, with his mind completely over-
turned ; as if goaded by the furies. He returned homewards
with the frantic design of murdering his ill-fated wife.
She was just going to bed when he came in. He kept his

1 26 History of Gil Bias

passion under for a time, and waited till the attendants had
withdrawn. Then, unrestrained by the fear of vengeance
from above, by the vulgar scorn which must recoil upon
an honourable family, by natural affection for his unborn
child, since his wife was near her time, he approached his
victim, and said to her in a furious tone of voice: Now is
your hour to die, wretch as you are ! One moment only is
your own, which my relenting pity leaves you to make your
peace with heaven. I would not that your soul should
perish eternally, though your earthly honour is for ever lost.

At these words he drew his dagger. Estephania, just
speechless with terror, throwing herself at his feet, be-
sought him with uphfted hands and inarticulate agony, to
tell her why he raised his arm against her life. If he sus-
pected her fidelity, she called heaven to attest her inno-
cence.

In vain, in vain, replied the infuriated murderer; your
treason is but too well proved. My information is not to
be contradicted : Don Huberto .... Ah ! my lord, interrupted
she with eager haste, you must hold your trust aJoof from
Don Huberto. He is less your friend than you imagine.
If he has said aught against my virtue, beheve him not.
Restrain that infamous tongue, replied Don Anastasio.
By appealing against Hordales, you condemn yourself.
You would ruin your relation in my esteem, because he is
acquainted with your misconduct. You would invalidate
his evidence against you; but the artifice is palpable, and
only whets my appetite for vengeance. My dear husband,
rejoined the innocent Estephania, while her tears flowed
in torrents, beware of this blind rage. If you follow its
instigation, you will perpetrate a deed for which you will
hate yourself, when convinced of its injustice. In the name
of heaven, compose your disordered spirits. At least give
me time to clear up your suspicions; you will then deal
candidly by a wife who has nothing to reproach herself
with.

Any other than Don Anastasio would have been
touched by her pleadings, and still more by her agonizing
affliction; but the barbarian, far from being softened,
ordered the lady once again to recommend herself briefly
to mercy, and Hfted his arm to strike the blow. Hold, in-
human as you are ! cried she. If your love for me is as if it

History of Don Roger de Rada 1 27

had never been, if my lavish fondness in return is all blotted
from your memory, if my tears have no eloquence to disarm
your hellish purpose, have some pity on your own blood.
Launch not your frantic hand against an innocent, who has
not yet breathed this vital air. You cannot be its execu-
tioner without the curse of heaven and earth. As for
myself, I can forgive my murderer; but the butcher of his
own child, think deeply of it, must pay the dreadful for-
feit of so detestable a deed.

Determined as Don Anastasio was to pay no attention to
anything Estephania could say, he could not help being
affected by the frightful images these last words presented
to his soul. Wherefore, as if apprehensive lest nature
should play the traitress to revenge, he hastened to make
sure of his staggering resolves, and plunged his dagger into
her bosom. She fell motionless on the ground. He
thought her dead; and on that supposition left his house
immediately to be no more seen at Antequera.

In the mean time, the unhappy victim of groundless
suspicion was so stunned with the blow she had received,
as to remain for a short interval on the ground without
any signs of life. Afterwards, coming to herself, she brought
an old female servant to her assistance by her plaints and
lamentations. That good old woman, beholding her mis-
tress in so deplorable a state, waked the whole household
and even the neighbourhood by her cries. The room was
soon filled with spectators. Surgical assistance was sent
for. The wound was probed, and pronounced not to be
mortal. Their opinion turned out to be correct; for
Estephania soon recovered, and was in due time dehvered
of a son, notwithstanding the cruel circumstances in which
she had been placed. That son, Signor Gil Bias, you
behold in me : I am the fruit of that dreadful pregnancy.

Women, when chaste as ice, when pure as snow, seldom
escape calumny: this plague, however, though virtue's
dowry, did not alight upon my mother. The bloody scene
passed in common fame for the transport of a jealous
husband. My father, it is true, bore the character of a
passionate man, prone to kindle into fury on the slightest
occasion. Hordales could not but suppose that his kins-
woman must suspect him of having sown wild fancies in
the mind of Don Anastasio; so that he satisfied himself

128 History of Gil Bias

with this imperfect relish of revenge, and ceased to impor-
tune her. But, not to be tedious, I shall pass over the detail
of my education. Suffice it to say, that my principal
exercise was fencing, which I practised regularly in the most
famous schools of Grenada and Seville. My mother
waited with impatience till I was of age to measure swords
with Don Huberto, that she might instruct me in the
grounds of her complaint against him. In my eighteenth
year she submitted her cause to my arbitrement, not
without floods of tears, and every symptom of the deepest
anguish. What must not a son feel, if he has the spirit
and the heart of a son, at the sight of a mother in such
distressing circumstances ? I went immediately and called
out Hordales ; our place of meeting was private as it should
be; we fought long and furiously; three of my thrusts took
place, and I threw him to the ground, hke a dead dog
despised.

Don Huberto, feeling his wound to be mortal, fixed his
last looks upon me, and declared that he met his death
at my hands as a just punishment for his treason against
my mother's honour. He owned that in revenge for the
pangs of despised love he had resolved on her ruin. Thus
did he breathe his last, imploring pardon from heaven,
from Don Anastasio, from Estephania, and from myself.
I deemed it imprudent to return home and acquaint my
mother of the issue; fame was sure to perform that office
for me. I passed the mountains, and repaired to Malaga,
where I embarked on board a privateer. My outside not
altogether indicating cowardice, the captain consented at
once to enrol me among his crew.

We were not long before we went into action. Near
the island of Alboutan, a corsair of Millila fell in with us,
on his return towards the African coast with a Spanish
vessel richly laden, taken off Carthagena. We attacked the
African briskly, and made ourselves masters of both ships,
with eighty Christians on board, going as slaves to Barbary.
Afterwards, availing ourselves of a wind direct for the coast
of Grenada, we shortly arrived at Punta de Helena.

While we were inquiring into the birth-place and con-
dition of our rescued captives, a man about fifty, of pre-
possessing aspect, fell under my examination. He stated
himself, with a sigh, to belong to Antequera. My heart

History of Don Roger de Rada 129

palpitated, without my knowing why; and my emotion, too
strong to pass unnoticed, excited a visible sympathy in
him. I avowed myself his townsman, and asked his
family name. Alas! answered he, your curiosity makes
my sorrow flow afresh. Eighteen years ago did I leave my
home, where my remembrance is coupled with scenes of
blood and horror. You must yourself have heard but too
much of my story. My name is Don Anastasio de Rada.
Merciful heaven! exclaimed I, may I believe my senses?
And can this be Don Anastasio ? Father ! What is it you
say, young man? exclaimed he in his turn, with surprise
and agitation equal to my own. Are you that ill-fated
infant, still in its mother's womb, when I sacrificed her to
my fury ? Yes, said I ; none other did the virtuous Este-
phania bring into the world, after the fatal night when
you left her weltering in her own blood.

Don Anastasio stifled my words in his embraces. For a
quarter of an hour we could only mingle our inarticulate
sighs and exclamations. After exhausting our tender
recollections, and indulging in the wild expression of our
feelings, my father Hfted his eyes to heaven, in gratitude
for Estephania saved; but the next moment, as if doubtful
of his bUss, he demanded by what evidence his wife's
innocence had been cleared. Sir, answered I, none but
yourself ever doubted it. Her conduct has been uniformly
spotless. You must be undeceived. Know that Don
Huberto was a traitor. In proof of this I unfolded all
his perfidy, the vengeance I had taken, and his own con-
fession before he expired.

My father was less dehghted at his liberty restored than
at these happy tidings. In the forgetfulness of ecstacy,
he repeated aU his former transports. His approbation
of me was ardent and entire. Come, my son, said he, let
us set out for Antequera. I bum with impatience to throw
myself at the feet of a wife whom I have treated so un-
worthily. Since you have brought me acquainted with my
own injustice, my heart has been torn by remorse.

I was too eager to bring together a couple so near and
dear to me, not to expedite our journey as much as possible.
I quitted the privateer, and with my share of prize-money
bought two mules at Adra, my father not choosing again
to incur the hazard of a voyage. He found leisure on the
II F

I 30 History of Gil Bias

road to relate his adventures, which I inclined to hear as
seriously as did the Prince of Ithaca the various recitals of
the king his father. At length, after several days, we
halted at the foot of a mountain near Antequera. Wishing
to reach home privately, we went not into the town till
midnight.

You may guess my mother's astonishment at beholding a
husband whom she had thought for ever lost; and the
almost miraculous circumstances of his restoration were a
second source of wonder. He entreated forgiveness for his
barbarity with marks of repentance so lively, that she
could not but be moved. Instead of looking on him as a
murderer, she only saw the man to whose will high heaven
had subjected her; such religion is there in the name of
husband to a virtuous wife! Estephania had been so
alarmed about me, that my return filled her with rapture
But her joy on this account was not without alleviation
A sister of Hordales had instituted a criminal prosecution
against her brother's antagonist. The search for me was
hot, so that my mother, considering home as insecure, was
painfully anxious about me. It was therefore necessary to
set out that very night for court, whither I come to solicit
my pardon, and hope to obtain it by your generous inter-
cession with the prime minister.

The gallant son of Don Anastasio thus closed his nar-
rative; after which I observed, with a self-sufficient phy-
siognomy: It is well. Signer Don Roger; the offence seems to
me to be venial. I will undertake to lay the case before
his excellency, and may venture to promise you his pro-
tection. The thanks my cUent lavished would have passed
in at one ear and out at the other, if they had not been
backed by assurances of more substantial gratitude.
But when once that string was touched, every nerve and
fibre of my frame vibrated in unison. On the very same
day did I relate the whole story to the duke, who allowed
me to present the gentleman, and addressed him thus:
Don Roger, I have been informed of the duel which has
brought you to court ; Santillane has laid all the particulars
before me. Make yourself perfectly easy: you have done
nothing but what the circumstances of the case might
almost warrant; and it is especially on the ground of
wounded honour, that his Majesty is best pleased to

Gil Bias makes a large Fortune i 3 1

extend his grace and favour. You must be committed
for mere form's sake; but you may depend on it, your
confinement shall be of short duration. In Santillane
you have a zealous friend, who will watch over your
interests, and hasten your release.

Don Roger paid his respectful acknowledgments to the
minister, on whose pledge he went and surrendered himself.
His pardon was soon made out, owing to my activity.
In less than ten days, I sent this modern Telemachus
home, to say "how do you do?" to his Ulysses and
Penelope; had he stood upon the merits of his case with-
out a protector, he might have whined out a year's im-
prisonment, and scarcely have got off at last. My commission
was but a poor hundred pistoles. It was no very mag-
nificent haul; but I was not as yet a Calderona, to turn
up my. nose at the small fry.

CHAPTER IX

GIL BLAS MAKES A LARGE FORTUNE IN A SHORT TIME. AND

BEHAVES LIKE OTHER WEALTHY UPSTARTS

•

This affair gave me a relish for my trade; and ten pis-
toles to Scipio by way of brokerage, whetted his eagerness
to start more game of the same sort. I have already
done justice to his talents that way; he might as modestly
have appended " the great " to the tail of his name, as the
most noted scoundrel of antiquity. The second customer
he brought me was a printer, who manufactured books
of chivalry, and had made his fortune by waging war
against common sense. This printer had pirated a work
belonging to a brother printer, and his edition had been
seized. For three hundred ducats I rescued his copies
out of jeopardy, and saved him from a heavy fine. Though
this was a transaction beneath the prime minister's notice,
his excellency condescended at my request to interpose
his authority. After the printer, a merchant passed
through my hands; the occasion was thus: A Portuguese
vessel had been taken by a Barbary corsair, and re-taken
by a privateer from Cadiz. Two-thirds of the cargo
belonged to a merchant at Lisbon, who, having claimed his

132 History of Gil Bias

due to no ptirpose, came to the court of Spain in search of a
protector, with sufficient credit to procure him restitu-
tion. I took up his cause, and he recovered his property,
deducting the sum of four hundred pistoles, paid to me
in consideration of my disinterested zeal for justice.

And now most surely the reader will call out to me at
this place: Well said, good master Santillane! Make hay
while the sun shines. You are on the high road to fortune;
push forward, and outstrip your rivals. Oh ! let me alone
for that, I spy, or my eyes deceive me, my servant
coming in with a new gull that he has just caught. Even
so! It is my very Scipio. Let us hear what he has to
say. Sir, quoth he, give me leave to introduce this emi-
nent practitioner. He wants a Hcence to sell his drugs
during the term of ten years in all the towns of the Spanish
monarchy, to the exclusion of all other quacks; in short,
a monopoly of poisons. In gratitude for this patent to
thin mankind, he will present the donor with a gratuity of
two hundred pistoles. I looked superciliously, Hke a
patron, at the mountebank, and told him that his busi-
ness should be done. As lameness and leprosy would have
it, in the course of a few days I sent him on his progress
through Spain, invested with full powers to make the
world his oyster, and leave nothing but the shell to his un-
patented competitors.

Besides that my avarice outran my accumulating wealth,
I had obtained the four boons just specified so easily from
his grace, as not to be mealy-mouthed about asking for a
fifth. The town of Vera, on the coast of Grenada, wanted
a governor; and a knight of Calatrava wanted the govern-
ment, for which he was wilUng to pay me one thousand
pistoles. The minister was ready to burst with laughing,
to see me so eager after the scut. By all the powers ! my
friend Gil Bias, said he, you go to work tooth and nail!
You have a most inveterate itch to do as you would be
done by. But mark me ! When mere trifles stand between
us, I shall not stand upon trifles; but when governments
or other places of real value are in question, you will have
the modesty to be content with half the fee for yourself,
and will account to me for the other half. It is inconceiv-
able at what expense I stand, and how it presses on my
finances to support the dignity of my station; for though

Gil Bias makes a large Fortune 133

disinterestedness looks vastly well in the eyes of the world,
you are to understand between ourselves that I have made
a solemn vow against dipping into my private fortune.
On this hint, arrange your future plans.

My master, by this discourse, reUeving me from the
fear of being troublesome, or rather egging me on to run
at the ring for every prize, made me still more worldly-
minded than ever I had been before. I should not have
objected to circulating hand-bills, with an invitation to
all candidates for places to apply on certain terms at the
secretary's office. My functions were here, Scipio's
were there; and we met at the receipt of custom. My
client got the government of Vera for his thousand pis-
toles; and as our price was fixed, a knight of St James
met his brother of Calatrava in the market on an equal
footing. But mere governors were paltry fish to fry;
I distributed orders of knighthood, and converted some
good stupid burgesses into most insufferable gentry by
one stroke of the pen, and a lacing across the shoulders with
a broad-sword. The clergy, too, were not forgotten in my
charities. Lesser preferments were in my gift; everything
up to prebendal stalls and collegiate dignities. With
regard to bishoprics and archbishoprics, Don Rodrigo de
Calderona had the charge of our holy rehgion. As church
and state must always go together, supreme magistracies,
commanderies, and viceroyalties were all in his gift;
whence the reader will naturally infer, that the upper
offices were Httle better tenanted than the lower ones;
since the subjects on whom our election fell, estabhshing
their pretensions on a certain palpable criterion, were not
necessarily and unavoidably either the cleverest or the
best-principled people in the world. We knew very
well that the wits and lampooners of Madrid made
themselves merry at our expense; but we borrowed our
philosophy from misers, who hug themselves under the
hootings of the people, when they count over the accumu-
lation of their pelf.

Isocrates was in the right to insinuate, in his elegant
Greek expression, that what is got over the devil's back is
spent under his belly. When I saw myself master of thirty
thousand ducats, and in a fair way to gain perhaps ten
times as much, it seemed to be a necessary ofi&ce to make

1 34 History of Gil Bias

such a figure as became the right hand of a prime minister.
I took a house to myself, and furnished it in the imme-
diate taste. I bought an attorney's carriage at second
hand: he had set it up at the suggestion of vanity, and laid
it down at the suggestion of his banker. I hired a coach-
man and three footmen. Justice demands that old and
faithful servants should be promoted; I therefore invested
Scipio with the threefold honour of valet-de-chambre, pri-
vate secretary, and steward. But the minister raised my
pride to its highest pitch, for he was pleased to allow my
people to wear his livery. My poor little wits were now
completely turned. I was httle more in my senses than
the disciples of Porcius Latro, who, by dint of drinking
cummin, having made themselves as pale as their master,
thought themselves every whit as learned; so I could
scarcely refrain from fancying myself next of kin and
presumptive heir to the Duke of Lerma himself. The
populace might take me for his cousin, and people who
knew better, for one of his bastards; a suspicion most
flattering to my pride of blood.

Add to this, that after the example of his excellency,
who kept a public table, I determined to give parties of my
own. Pursuant thereunto, I commissioned Scipio to find
me out a professed cook, and he stumbled upon one who
might have dished up a dinner for Nomentanus, of drip-
ping-pan notoriety. My cellar was well stored with the
choicest wines. My establishment being now complete,
I gave my house-warming. Every evening some of the
clerks in the public offices came to sup with me, and affected
a sort of pohtical high life below-stairs. I^did the honours
hospitably, and always sent them home half seas over.
Like master like man ! Scipio, too, had his parties in the
servants' hall, where he treated all his chums at my expense.
But besides that I felt a real kindness for that lad, he con-
tributed to grease the wheels of my establishment, and
was entitled to have a finger in the dissipation. As a
young man, some little licence was allowable; and the
ruinous consequences did not strike me at the time.
Another reason, too, prevented me from taking notice of
it; incessant vacancies, ecclesiastical and secular, paid me
amply in meal and in malt. My surplus was increasing
every day. Fortune's curricle seemed to have driven to

Gil Bias makes a large Fortune 135

my door, there to have broken down, and the driver to have
taken shelter with me.

One thing more was wanting to my complete intoxica-
tion, that Fabricio might be witness to my pomp. He was
most probably come back from Andalusia. For the fun
of surprising him, I sent an anonymous note, importing
that a Sicihan nobleman of his acquaintance would be
glad of his company to supper, with the day, hour, and
place of appointment, which was at my house. Nunez
came, and was most inordinately astonished to recog-
nize me in the Sicilian nobleman. Yes, my friend, said I,
behold the master of this family. I have a retinue, a good
table, and a strong box besides. Is it possible, exclaimed
he with vivacity, that all this opulence should be yours?
It was well done in me to have placed you with Count
Gahano. I told you beforehand that he was a generous
nobleman, and would not be long before he set you at
your ease. Of course you followed my wise advice, in
giving the rein a httle more freely to your servants; you
find the benefit of it. It is only by a little mutual accom-
modation, that the principal officers in great houses feather
their nests so comfortably.

I suffered Fabricio to go on as long as he hked, compUment-
ing himself for having introduced me to Count Galiano.
When he had done, to chastise his ecstasies at having
procured me so good a post, I stated at full length the re-
turns of gratitude with which that nobleman had recom-
pensed my services. But, perceiving how ready my poet
was to string his lyre to satire at my recital, I said to him —
The Sicilian's contemptible conduct I readily forgive.
Between ourselves, it is more a subject of congratulation
than of regret. If the count had dealt honourably by me,
I should have followed him into Sicily, where I should still
be in a subordinate capacity, waiting for dead men's shoes.
In a word, I should not now have been hand in glove with
the Duke of Lerma.

Nunez felt so strange a sensation at these last words,
that he was tongue-tied for some seconds. Then gulping
up his stammering accents like harlequin. Did I hear
aright? said he. What! you hand in glove with the
prime minister. I on one side, and Don Rodrigo de Calde
rona on the other, answered I; and according to all ap-

1 36 History of Gil Bias

pearance, my fortunes will move higher. Truly, replied
he, this is admirable. You are cut out for every occasion.
What an universal genius! To borrow an expression from
the tennis-court, you have a racket for every ball; nothing
comes amiss to you. At all events, my lord, I am sincerely
rejoiced at your lordship's prosperity. The deuce and all.
Master Nunez ! interrupted I ; good now, dispense with your
lords and lordships. Let us banish such formalities, and
live on equal terms together. You are in the right,
replied he; altered circumstances should not make strange
faces. I will own my weakness; when you announced
your elevation you took away my breath; but the chill
and the shudder are over, and I see only my old friend
Gil Bias.

Our conversation was interrupted by the arrival of four
or five clerks. Gentlemen, said I, introducing Nunez, you
are to sup with Signor Don Fabricio, who writes verses of
impenetrable sublimity, and such prose as would not know
itself in the glass. Unluckily I was talking to gentry
who would have had more fellow-feehng with an Oran
Outang than with a poet. They scarcely condescended
to look at him. In vain did he pun, parody, rally, or rail
to hit their fancies, for they had none. He was so nettled
at their indifference, that he assumed the poetic licence, and
made his escape. Our clerks never missed him, but forgot
at once that he had been there.

Just as I was going out the next morning, the poet of the
Asturias came into my room. I beg pardon, said he, for
having cut your clerks so abruptly last night; but, to deal
freely, I was so much out of my element, that I should soon
have played old chaos with them. Proud puppies, with
their starch and self-important air! I cannot conceive
how a clever fellow hke you can sit it out with such loutish
guests. To-day I will bring you some of more life and
spirit. I shall be very much obhged to you, answered I;
your introduction is sufficient. Exactly so, repHed he.
You shall have the feast of reason and the flow of soul.
I will go forthwith and invite them, for fear they should
engage themselves elsewhere; for happy man be his dole
who can get them to dinner or supper; they are such excel-
lent company !

Away went he; and in the evening, at supper- time,

Gil Bias makes a large Fortune 137

returned with six authors in his train, whom he presented
one after another with a set speech in their praise. Ac-
cording to his account, the wits of Greece and Italy were
nothing in comparison of these, whose works ought to be
printed in letters of gold. I received this deputation from
the tuneful sisters very politely. My behaviour was even
in the extravagance of good breeding; for the republic of
authors is a httle monarchical in its demands upon our
flattery. Though I had given Scipio no express direction
respecting the number of covers at this entertainment, yet
knowing what a hungry and voluptuous race were to be
crammed, he had mustered the courses in more than their
full complement.

At length supper was announced, and we fell to merrily.
My poets began talking of their poems and themselves.
One fellow, with the most lyrical assurance, numbered up
whole hosts of first-rate nobility and high-flying dames,
who were quite enraptured with his muse. Another,
though it was not for him to arraign the choice which a
learned society had lately made of two new members,
could not help saying that it was strange they should not
have elected him. All the rest were much in the same
story. Amid the clatter of knives and forks, my ears
were more discordantly dinned with verses and harangues.
They each took it by turns to give me a specimen of their
composition. One languishes out a sonnet ; another mouths
a scene in a tragedy; and a third reads a melancholy criti-
cism on the province of comedy. The next in turn spouts
an ode of Anacreon, translated into most un-anacreontic
Spanish verse. One of his brethren interrupts him, to
point out the unclassical use of a particular phrase. The
author of the version by no means acquiesces in the re-
mark; hence arises an argument, in which all the literati
take one side or the other. Opinions are nearly balanced;
the disputants are nearly in a passion ; as argument weakens,
invective grows stronger; they get from bad to worse; over
goes the table, and up jump they to fisty-cuffs. Fabricio,
Scipio, my coachman, my footman, and myself, have
scarcely lungs or strength to bring them to their senses.
The moment the battle was over, off scampered they as if
my house had been a tavern, without the slightest apology
for their ill behaviour.

138 History of Gil Bias

Nunez, on whose word I had anticipated a very pleasant
party, looked rather blue at this conclusion. Well, my
friend, said I, what do you think of your hterary acquaint-
ance now? As sure as Apollo is on Parnassus, you
brought me a most blackguard set. I will stick to my
clerks; so talk no more to me about authors. I shall take
care, answered he, not to invite any of them to a gentle-
man's house again; for these are the most select and well-
mannered of the tribe.

CHAPTER X^

THE MORALS OF GIL BLAS BECOME AT COURT MUCH AS IF
THEY HAD NEVER BEEN AT ALL. A COMMISSION FROM
THE COUNT DE LEMOS, WHICH, LIKE MOST COURT COM-
MISSIONS, IMPLIES AN INTRIGUE

When once my name was up for a man after the Duke
of Lerma's own heart, I had very soon my court about
me. Every morning was my ante-chamber crowded with
company, and my levees were all the fashion. Two sorts
of customers came to my shop ; one set, to engage my inter-
position with the minister, on fair commercial principles ; the
other set, to excite my compassion by pathetic statements of
their cases, and give me a lift to heaven on the packhorse of
charity. The first were sure of being heard patiently and
served dihgently ; with regard to the second order, I got rid of
them at once by plausible evasions, or kept them dangling till
they wore their patience threadbare, and went off in a huff.
Before I was about the court my nature was compassionate
and charitable ; but tenderness of heart is an unfashionable
frailty there, and mine became harder than any flint. Here
was an admirable school to correct the romantic sensi-
bilities of friendship: nor was my philosophy any longer
assailable in that quarter. My manner of dealing with
Joseph Navarro, under the following circumstances, will
prove more than volumes on that head.

This Navarro, the founder of my fortune, to whom my
obligations were thick and threefold, paid me a visit one
day. With the warmest expressions of regard such as he
was in the habit of lavishing, he begged me to ask the Duke
of Lerma for a certain situation for one of his friends, a

A Commission from the Count de Lemos 139

young man of excellent qualities and undoubted merit,
but incumbered with an inability of getting on in the
world. I am well assured, added Joseph, that with your
good and obliging disposition, you will be enraptured to
confer a favour on a worthy man with a very slender
purse; I am sure you will feel obhged to me for giving you
an opportunity of carrying your benevolent incHnations
into effect. This was just as good as telling me that the
business was to be done for nothing. Though such doctrine
was not quite level to my capacity, I still affected a wish
to do as he desired. It gives me infinite pleasure, an-
swered I to Navarro, to have it in my power to evince
my lively sense of all your former kindness to me. It is
enough for you to take any man living by the hand; from
that moment he becomes the object of my unwearied care.
Your friend shall have the situation you want for him;
nay, he has it already : it is no longer any concern of yours ;
leave it entirely to me.

On this assurance Joseph went away in high glee;
nevertheless, the person he recommended had not the post
in question. It was given to another man, and my strong
box was the stronger by a thousand ducats. This sum
was infinitely prefera^Dle to all the thanks in the world,
so that I looked pitifully blank when next we met, sayings
Ah, my dear Navarro ! you should have thought of speak-
ing to me sooner. That Calderona got the start of me;
he has given away a certain thing that shall be nameless. I
am vexed to the soul not to meet you with better tidings.

Joseph was fool enough to give me credit, and we parted
better friends than ever; but I suspect that he soon found
out the truth, for he never came near me again. This
was just what I wanted. Besides that the memory of
benefits received grated harshly, it would not have been
at all the thing for a person in my then sphere to keep com-
pany with a certain description of people.

The Count de Lemos has been long in the background,
let us bring him a Httle forwarder on the canvas. We
met occasionally. I had carried him a thousand pistoles,
as the reader will recollect; and I now carried him a thou-
sand more, by order of his uncle the duke, out of his excel-
lency's funds lying in my hands. On this occasion the
Count de Lemos honoured me with a long conference. He

140 History of Gil Bias

informed me that at length he had completely gained his
end, and was in unrivalled possession of the Prince of
Spain's good graces, whose sole confidant he was. His
next concern was to invest we with a right honourable com-
mission, of which he had already given me a hint. Friend
Santillane, said he, now is the time to strike while the iron
is hot. Spare no pains to find out some young beauty,
worthy to while away the prince's amorous hours. You
have your wits about you; and a word to the wise is suffi-
cient. Go; run about the town; pry into every hole and
comer; and when you have pounced upon anything likely
to suit, you will come and let me know. I promised the
count to leave no stone unturned in the due discharge of
my employment, which seemed to require no great force of
genius, since the professors of the science are so numerous.

I had not hitherto been much practised in such dehcate
investigations, but it was more than probable that Scipio
had, and that his talent lay pecuHarly that way. On my
return home I called him in, and spoke thus to him in
private : My good fellow, I have a very important secret to
impart. Do you know that in the midst of fortune's
favours, there is something still wanting to crown all my
wishes ? I can easily guess what that is, interrupted he,
without giving me time to finish what I was going to say;
you want a little snug bit of contraband amusement, to
keep you awake of evenings, and rub off the dust of busi-
ness. And, in fact, it is a marvellous thing that you should
have played the Joseph in the heyday of your blood, when
so many greybeards around you are playing the Elder. I
admire the quickness of your apprehension, rephed I with a
smile. Yes, my friend, a mistress is that something still
wanting ; and you shall choose for me. But I forewarn you
that I am nice hungry, and must have a pretty person,
with more than passable manners. The sort of thing that
you require, returned Scipio, is not always to be met with
in the market. Yet, as luck will have it, we are in a
town where everything is to be got for money, and I am in
hopes that your commission will not hang long on hand.

Accordingly within three days he pulled me by the
sleeve : I have discovered a treasure ! a young lady whose
name is CataUna, of good family and matchless beauty,
living with her aunt in a small house, where they make both

(

A Commission from the Count de Lemos 141

ends meet by clubbing their little matters, and set the slan-
derous world at defiance. Their waiting-maid, a girl of my
acquaintance, has given me to understand that their door,
though barred against all impertinent intruders, would turn
upon its hinges to a rich and generous suitor, if he would
only consent, for fear of prying neighbours, not to pay his
visits till after night-fall, and then in the most private
manner possible. Hereupon I magnified you as the pro-
perest gentleman in the world, and intreated piety in
pattens to offer your humble services to the ladies. She
promised to do so, and to bring me back my answer to-
morrow morning at an appointed place. That is all very
well, answered I; but I am afraid your goddess of bed-
making has been running her rig upon you. No, no,
replied he, old birds are not to be caught with chaff; I have
already made inquiry in the neighbourhood, and by the
general report of her, Signora Catahna is a second Danae,
on whom you will have the happiness of coming down,

Like Jove descending from his tower.
To court her in a silver shower.

Out of conceit as I, was with the intrinsic value of ladies'
favours, this was not to be scoffed at; and as our Mercury
in petticoats came the next day to tell Scipio that it only
depended on me to be introduced that very evening, I
dropped in between eleven and twelve o'clock. The
knowing one received me without bringing a candle, and
led me by the hand into a very neat apartment, where the
two ladies were sitting on a satin sofa, dressed in the most
elegant taste. As soon as they saw me enter, they got up
and welcomed me in a style of such superior breeding, as
would not have disgraced the highest rank. The aunt,
whose name was Signora Mencia, though with the remains
of beauty, had no attractions for me. But the niece had a
million, for she was a goddess in mortal form. And yet,
to examine her critically, she could not have been admitted
for a perfect beauty; but then there was a charm above all
rules of symmetry, with a tingHng and luxurious warmth
about her, that seized on men's hearts through their eyes,
and prevented their brains from being too busy.
Neither were my senses proof against so dazzling a dis-

142 History of Gil Bias

play. I forgot my errand as proxy, and spoke on my
own private individual account, with the enthusiasm of a
raw recruit in the tender passion. The dear little crea-
ture, whose wit sounded in my ears with three times its
actual acuteness, under favour of her natural endowments,
made a complete conquest of me by her prattle. I began
to launch out into foohsh raptures, when the aunt, to bring
me to my bearings, led the conversation to the point in
hand : Signor de Santillane, I shall deal very exphcitly with
you. On the high encomiums I have heard of your char-
acter, you have been admitted here, without the affecta-
tion of making much ado about trifles : but do not imagine
that your views are the nearer their termination for that.
Hitherto I have brought my niece up in retirement, and
you are, as it were, the very first male creature on whom
she has ever set eyes. If you deem her worthy of being
your wife, I shall feel myself highly honoured by the alli-
ance : it is for you to consider whether those terms suit you ;
but you cannot have her on cheaper.

This was proceeding to business with a vengeance!
It put little Cupid to flight at once: or else he was just
going to try one of his sharpest arrows upon me. But a
truce with the Pantheon ! A marriage so bluntly proposed
dispelled the fairy vision: I sunk back at once into the
count's plodding agent; and changing my tone, answered
Signora Mencia thus: Madam, your frankness delights me,
and I wiU meet it half-way. Whatever rank I may hold at
court, lower than the highest is too low for the peerless
Catalina. A far more briUiant offer waits her acceptance;
the Prince of Spain shall be thrown into her toils. Surely
it was enough to have refused my niece, replied the aunt
sarcastically; such compliments are sufficiently unpleasing
to our sex ; it could not be necessary to make us your unfeel-
ing sport. I really am not in so merry a mood, madam !
exclaimed I: it is a plain matter of fact; I am commis-
sioned to look out for a young lady of merit sufficient to
engage the prince's heart, and receive his private visits;
the object of my search is in your house, and here his
royal highness shall fix his quarters.

Signora Mencia could scarcely believe her ears; neither
were they grievously offended. Nevertheless, thinking it
decent to be startled at the immorality of the proceeding,

A Commission from the Count de Lemos 143

she replied to the following effect: Though I should give
implicit credit to what you tell me, you must understand
that I am not of a character to take pleasure in the infamous
distinction of seeing my niece a prince's concubine. Every
feehng of virtue and of honour revolts at the idea. . . . What
a simpleton you are with your virtue and honour! inter-
rupted I. You have not a notion above the level of a
tradesman's wife. Was there ever anything so stupid as to
consider affairs of this kind with a view to their moral ten-
dency ? It is stripping them of all their beauty and excel-
lence. In the magic lanthom of plenty, pleasure, and pre-
ferment, they appear with all their brightest gloss. Figure
to yourself the heir to the monarchy at the happy Catalina's
feet; fancy him all rapture and lavish bounty; nor doubt
but that from her shall spring a hero, who shall immortalize
his mother's name, by enrolling his own in the unperishable
records of eternal fame.

Though the aunt desired no better sport than to take
me at my word, she affected not to know what she had best
do; and Catalina, who longed to have a grapple with the
Prince of Spain, affected not to care about the matter;
which made it necessary for me to press the siege closer;
till at length Signora Mencia, finding me chop-faUen and
ready to withdraw hiy forces, sounded a parley, and agreed
to a convention, containing the two following articles.
Imprimis, if the Prince of Spain, on the fame of Catahna's
charms, should take fire, and determine to pay her a
nightly visit, it should be my care to let the ladies know
when they might expect him. Secondo, that the prince
should be introduced to the said ladies as a private gentle-
man, accompanied only by himself and his principal pur-
veyor.

After this capitulation, the aunt and niece were upon
the best terms possible with me : they behaved as if we
had known one another from our cradles; on the strength
of which I ventured on some little familiarities, which were
not taken at all unkindly; and when we parted, they
embraced me of their own accord, and slabbered me over
with inexpressible fondness. It is marvellous to think with
what facility a tender connection is formed between per-
sons in the same line of trade, but of opposite sexes.
It might have been suspected by an eye-witness of my

144 History of Gil Bias

departure, in all the plenitude of warm and repeated salu-
tation, that my visit had been more successful than it was.

The Count de Lemos was highly dehghted when I an-
nounced the long-expected discovery. I spoke of CataUna
in terms which made him long to see her. The following
night I took him to her house, and he owned that I had
beat the bush to some purpose. He told the ladies, he had
no doubt but the Prince of Spain would be fully satisfied
with my choice of a mistress, who, on her part, would have
reason to be well pleased with such a lover; that the young
prince was generous, good-tempered, and amiable ; in short,
he promised in a few days to bring him in the mode they
enjoined, without retinue or pubHcity. That nobleman
then took leave of them, and I withdrew with him. We got
into his carriage, in which we had both driven thither, and
which was waiting at the end of the street. He set me
down at my own door, with a special charge to inform his
uncle next day of the new game started, not forgetting to
impress strongly how conducive a good bag of pistoles would
be to the successful accomplishment of the adventure.

I did not fail on the following morning to go and give the
Duke of Lerma an exact account of all that had passed.
There was but one thing kept back. I did not mention
Scipio's name, but took credit to myself for the discovery
of Catahna. One makes a merit of any dirty work in the
service of the great.

Abundant were the compliments paid me on this occa-
sion. My good friend Gil Bias, said the minister with a
bantering air, I am delighted that with all your talents you
have that besides of discovering kind-hearted beauties;
whenever I have occasion for such an article, you will have
the goodness to supply me. My lord, answered I with
mock gravity like his own, you are very obhging to give me
the preference; but it may not be unseasonable to observe
that there would be an indelicacy in my administering to
your excellency's pleasures of this description. Signor Don
Rodrigo has been so long in possession of that post about
your person, that it would be manifest injustice to rob him
of it. The duke smiled at my answer; and then changing
the subject, asked whether his nephew did not want money
for this new speculation. Excuse my negligence! said I;
he will thank you to send him a thousand pistoles. Well

The Prince of Spain's Secret Visit 145

and good! replied the minister; you will furnish him
accordingly, with my strict injunction not to be niggardly,
but to encourage the prince in whatever pleasurable
expenses his heart may prompt him to indulge.

CHAPTER XI

THE PRIICE OF SPAIN'S SECRET VISIT, AND PRESENTS TO
CATALINA

I WENT to the Count de Lemos on the spur of the occa-
sion, with ive hundred double pistoles in my hand. You
could not tave come at a better time, said that nobleman.
I have been talking with the prince; he has taken the bait,
and burns vith impatience to see Catahna. This very
night he inteads to slip privately out of the palace, and pay
her a visit; itis a measure determined on, and our arrange-
ments are ato.dy made. Give notice to the ladies, through
the medium 01 the cash you have just brought; it is proper
to let them kmw they have no ordinary lover to receive;
and a matter 01 course that generosity in princes should be
the herald of th^r partiahties. As you will be of our party,
take care to be ir. the'way at bed- time : and as your carriage
will be wanted, le it wait near the palace about midnight.

I immediately Repaired to the ladies. CataUna was not
visible, having jus- gone to lie down. I could only speak
with Signora Mencn. Madam, said I, forgive my appear-
ance here in the da^^^-time, but there was no avoiding it;
you must know that he Prince of Spain will be with you to-
night; and here, addei I, putting my pecuniary credentials
into her hand, here is ai offering which he lays on the Cythe-
rean shrine, to propitiae the divinities of the temple. You
may perceive, I have no. entangled you in a sleeveless con-
cern. You have been excessively kind indeed, answered
she ; but tell me, Signor d>, Santillane, does the prince love
music ? To distraction, re^Ued I. There is nothing he so
much delights in as a fine vice, with a delicate lute accom-
paniment. So much the beter, exclaimed she in a trans-
port of joy; you give me gre^t pleasure by saying so; for
my niece has the pipe of a nigh^ngale, and plays exquisitely
on the lute : then her dancing is i\ the finest style ! Heavens

146 History of Gil Bias

and earth! exclaimed I in my turn, here are accomplish-
ments by wholesale, aunt; more than enough to make any
girl's fortune ! Any one of those talents would have been a
sufficient dowry.

Having thus smoothed his reception, I waited for the
prince's bed-time. When it was near at hand, I gave my
coachman his orders, and went to the Count ce Lemos,
who told me that the prince, the sooner to get rid of the
people about him, meant to feign a slight indisposition, and
even to go to bed, the better to cajole his attendants; but
that he would get up an hour afterwards, and go through a
private door to a back staircase leading intc the court-
yard.

Conformably with their previous arrangemeits, he fixed
my station. There had I to beat the hoof sc long, that I
began to suspect our forward sprig of royaty had gone
another way, or else had changed his mind al)Out Catalina;
just as if princes ever began to be fickle, til the goad of
novelty and curiosity began to be bluntec. In short, I
thought they had forgotten me, when two men came up.
Finding them to be my party, I led the wa} to my carriage,
into which they both got, and I upon tie coach-box to
direct the driver, whom I stopped fifty yaris from the house,
whither we walked. The door opened at 3ur approach, and
shut again as soon as we got in.

At first we were in absolute darknesj, as on my former
visit, though a small lamp was fixed to the wall on the
present occasion. But the Mght which it shed was so faint,
as only to render itself visible withrut assisting us. All
this served only to heighten the romance in the fancy of its
hero, fixed as he was in steadfast gize at the sight of the
ladies as they received him in a salmon whose brilliant illu-
mination was more dazzhng, when contrasted with the gloom
of the avenue. The aunt and nie^e were in a tempting un-
dress, where the science of coque-ry was displayed in all its
luxury and absolute sway. CUr prince could have been
happy with Signora Mencia, h?l the dear charmer Catalina
been away ; but as there was r choice, the younger, accord-
ing to the rules of precedenc} in the court of Cupid, had the
preference.

Well ! prince, said the Co^nt de Lemos, could you have de-
sired a better specimen 'f beauty? They are both en-

The Prince of Spain's Secret Visit 147

chanting, answered the prince, and my heart may as well
surrender at once ; for the aunt would arrest it in its flight,
if it attempted to sound a retreat from the niece's all-
subduing charms.

After such compliments, as do not fall by wholesale to
the share cf aunts, he addressed his choicest terms of flattery
to Catalina, who answered him in kind. As convenient per-
sonages of my stamp are allowed to mingle in the conversa-
tion of lovers, for the purpose of making fire hotter, I intro-
duced the subject of singing and playing on the lute. This
was the signal of fresh rapture ! and the nymph, the muse,
the anything but mortal, was suppHcated to outtune the
jingle of the spheres. She complied like a good-humoured
goddess; played some tender airs, and sung so deliciously,
that the prince flopped down on his knees in a tumult of love
and pleasure. But scenes like these are vapid in description :
sufiice it to say that hours ghded away like moments in this
sweet deUrium, till the approach of day warned the sober
plotters of the kmacy to provide for their patient's safety,
and their own. When the parties were all snugly housed,
we gave ourselves as much credit for the negotiation as if we
had patched up a marriage with a princess.

The next morning the Duke of Lerma desired to know all
the particulars. juSt as I had finished relating them, the
Count de Lemos came in and said — The Prince of Spain is
so engrossed by Catalina ; he has taken so decided a fancy to
her, that he actually proposes to be constant. He wanted
to have sent her jewels to the amount of two thousand
pistoles to-day, but his finances were aground. My dear
Lemos, said he, addressing himself to me, you must abso-
lutely get me that sum. I know it is very inconvenient;
you have pawned your credit for me already, but my heart
owns itself your debtor; and if ever I have the means of
returning your kindness by more than empty words, your
fortunes shall not suffer by your complaisance. In answer,
I assured him that I had frier/is and credit, and promised to
bring him what he wanted.

There is no difficulty about that, said the duke to his
nephew. Santillane will bring you the money; or, to save
trouble, he may purchase the jewels, for he is an admirable
judge, especially of rubies. Are you not, Gil Bias ? This
stroke of satire was of course designed to entertain the

1 48 History of Gil Bias

count at my expense, and it was successful, for his curiosity
could not but be excited to know the meaning of the
mystery. No mystery at all, rephed his uncle with a broad
laugh. Only Santillane took it into his head one day to
exchange a diamond for a ruby, and the barter operated
equally to the advantage of his pocket and his penetra-
tion.

Had the minister stopped there, I should have come off
cheaply; but he took the trouble of dressing out in aggra-
vated colours the trick that Camilla and Don Raphael
played me, with a most provoking enlargement of the cir-
cumstances most to the disadvantage of my sagacity. His
excellency having enjoyed his joke, ordered me to attend
the Count de Lemos to a jeweller's, where we selected
trinkets for the Prince of Spain's inspection, and they were
intrusted to my care to be delivered to Catalira.

There can be little doubt of my kind reception on the
following night, when I displayed a fine pair of drop ear-
rings, as the presents of my embassy. The two ladies, out
of their wits at these costly tokens of tlie prince's love,
suffered their tongues to run into a gossiping strain, while
they were thanking me for introducing them into such
worshipful society. In the excess of their joy, they forgot
themselves a little. There escaped now and then certain
pecuhar idioms of speech, which made me suspect that the
party in question was no such dainty morsel for royalty to
feed upon. To ascertain precisely what degree of obligation
I had conferred on the heir-apparent I took my leave with
the intention of coming to a right understanding with
Scipio.

CHAPTER Xn

CATALINA'S real condition a worry and alarm to GIL
BLAS. HIS PRECAUTIONS FOR HIS OWN EASE AND
QUIET

On coming home, I heard a devil of a noise, and inquired
what was the meaning of it. They told me that Scipio
was giving a supper to half-a-dozen of his friends. They
were singing as loud as their lungs could roar, and threaten-
ing the stability of the house with their protracted peals of

Gil Bias' Precautions for his Ease 149

laughter. This meal was not in all respects the banquet of
the seven wise men.

The founder of the feast, informed of my arrival, said to
his company: Sit still, gentlemen, it is only the master of
the house come home, but that need not disturb you. Go
on with your merry-making; I will but just whisper a word
in his ear, and be back again in a moment. He came to me
accordingly. What an infernal din ! said I. What sort of
company do you keep below? Have you, too, got in
among the poets? Thank you for nothing! answered he.
Your wine is too good to be given to such gentry ; I turn it
to better account. There is a young man of large property
in my party, who wishes to lay out your credit and his own
money in the purchase of a place. This little festivity is all
for him. For every glass he fills, I put on ten pistoles, in
addition to the regular fee. He shall drink till he is under
the table. If that is the case, repUed I, go to your president-
ship, and do not spare the cellar.

Then was no proper time to talk about Catalina; but the
next morning I opened the business thus : Friend Scipio, the
terms we are upon entitle me to fair deaHng. I have
treated you more Hke an equal than a servant, conse-
quently you would be much to blame to cheat me on the
footing of a master. Let us, therefore, have no secrets
towards each other. I am going to tell you what will sur-
prise you ; and you on your part shall give me your sincere
opinion about the two women with whom you have brought
me acquainted. Between ourselves, I suspect them to be
no better than they should be ; with so much the more of the
knave in their composition, because they affect the simple-
ton. If my conjecture be right, the Prince of Spain has no
great reason to be delighted with my activity; for I will own
to you frankly, that it was for him I spoke to you about a
mistress. I brought him to see Catahna, and he is over
head and ears in love with her. Sir, answered Scipio, you
have dealt so handsomely by me, that I shall act upon the
square with you. I had yesterday a private interview with
the abigail, and she gave me a most entertaining history of
the family. You shaU have it briefly, though it did not
come briefly to me.

Catahna was daughter to a sort of gentleman in Arragon.
An orphan at fifteen, with no fortune but a pretty face, she

150 History of Gil Bias

lent a complying ear to an officer who carried her off to
Toledo, where he died in six months, having been more Hke
a father than a husband to her. She collected his effects
together, consisting of their joint wardrobe and three
hundred pistoles in ready money, and then went to house-
keeping with Signora Mencia, who was still in fashion,
though a Httle on the wane. These sisters, every way but in
blood, began at length to attract the attention of the pohce.
The ladies took umbrage at this, and decamped in dudgeon
for Madrid, where they have been Hving for these two years,
without making any acquaintance in the neighbourhood.
But now comes the best of the joke: they have taken two
small houses adjoining each other, with a passage of commu-
nication through the cellars. Signora Mencia lives with a
servant girl in one of these houses, and the officer's widow
inhabits the other, with an old duenna, whom she passes off
for her grandmother, so that her versatile child of nature is
sometimes a niece brought up by her aunt, and sometimes
an orphan under her grandam's fostering wing. When she
enacts the niece, her name is Catalina; and when she per-
sonates the granddaughter, she calls herself Sirena.

At the grating sound of Sirena I turned pale, and inter-
rupted Scipio, saying — What do you tell me? Alas! it
must be so: This cursed imp of Arragon is Calderona's
charming Siren. To be sure she is, answered he, the very
same! I thought you would be dehghted at the news.
Quite the reverse, replied I. It portends more sorrow than
laughter ; do not you anticipate the consequences ? None
of any ill omen, rejoined Scipio. What is there to be
afraid of ? It is not certain that Don Rodrigo will rub his
forehead ; and in case any good-natured friend should show
it him in the glass, you had better let the minister into the
secret beforehand. TeU him all the circumstances straight-
forward as they happened; he will see that there has been
no trick on your part; and if after that Calderona should
attempt to do you an ill office with his excellency, it will be
as clear as dayhght that he is only actuated by a spirit of
revenge.

Scipio removed all my apprehensions by this advice,
which I followed, in acquainting the Duke of Lerma at once
with this unlucky discovery. My aspect, while telling my
tale, was sorrowful, and my tone faltering, in evidence of my

Gil Bias hears News of his Family i 5 i

contrition for having unadvisedly brought the prince and
Don Rodrigo into such close quarters; but the minister was
more disposed to roast his favourite than to pity him.
Indeed, he ordered me to let the matter take its own course,
considering it as a feather in Calderona's cap to dispute the
empire of love with so illustrious a rival, and not to be
worse used than his lawful prince. The Count de Lemos,
too, was informed how things stood, and promised me his
protection, if the first secretary should come at the know-
ledge of the intrigue, and attempt to undermine me with the
duke.

Trusting to have secured the frail bark of my fortunes by
this notable contrivance from the rocks and quicksands
that threatened it, my mind was once more at rest. I con-
tinued attending the prince on his visits to Catahna, siren-
like in nature as in nickname, who was fertile in quaint
devices to keep Don Rodrigo away from next door, when-
ever the course of business required her to devote her nights
to his royal competitor.

CHAPTER XIII

6IL BLAS GOES ON PERSONATING THE GREAT MAN. HE HEARS
NEWS OF HIS family: a touch of nature on THE
OCCASION. A GRAND QUARREL WITH FABRICIO

I MENTIONED some time ago, that in the morning there
was usually a crowd of people in my ante-chamber, coming
to negotiate Httle private concerns in the way of politics;
but I would never suffer them to open their business by word
of mouth; but adopting court precedent, or rather giving
myself the airs of a jack in office, my language to every
suitor was — Send in a memorial on the subject. My tongue
ran so glibly to that tune, that one day I gave my landlord
the official answer, when he came to put me in mind of a
twelvemonth's rent in arrear. As for my butcher and
baker, they spared the trouble of asking for their memorials
by never giving me time to run up a bill. Scipio, who
mimicked me so exactly, that only those behind the scenes
could distinguish the double from the principal performer,
held his head just as high with the poor devils who curried

152 History of Gil Bias

favour with him, as a step of the ladder to my ministerial
patronage.

There was another foolish trick of mine, of which I do
not by any means pretend to make a merit; neither more
nor less than the extreme assurance of talking about the
first nobility, just as if I had been one of their kidney. Sup-
pose, for example, the Duke of Alva, the Duke of Ossuna, or
the Duke of Medina Sidonia were mentioned in conversa-
tion, I called them without ceremony, my friend Alva, that
good-natured fellow Ossuna, or that comical dog Medina
Sidonia. In a word, my pride and vanity had swelled
to such a height, that my father and mother were no
longer among the number of my honoured relatives.
Alas! poor under-strappers, I never thought of asking
whether you had sunk or were swimming in the Asturias.
A thought about you never came into my head. The
court has all the soporific virtues of Lethe, in the case
of poor relations.

My family was completely obUterated from the tablets of
my memory, when one morning a young man knocked at
my door and begged to speak with me for a moment in
private. He was shown into my closet, where, without
asking him to take a chair, as he seemed to be quite a com-
mon fellow, I desired to know abruptly what he wanted.
How ! Signor Gil Bias ? said he, do you not remember me ?
It was in vain that I perused the lines of his face over and
over again ; I was obliged to teU him fairly that he had the
advantage of me. Why, I am one of your old schoolfellows !
replied he, bred and born in Oviedo ; Bertrand Muscada, the
grocer's son, next-door neighbour to your uncle the canon.
I recoUect you as well as if it was but yesterday. We have
played a thousand times together at blind man's buff and
prison bars.

My youthful recollections, answered I, are very transient
and confused. Blind man's buff and prison bars are but
childish amusement ! The burden of state affairs leaves me
little time to ruminate on the trifles of my younger days. I
am come to Madrid, said he, to settle accounts with my
father's correspondent. I heard talk of you! Folks say
that you have a good berth at court, and are already almost
as well off as a Jew broker. I thought I would just call in
and say, how d'ye do ? On my return into the country.

Gil Bias hears News of his Family 153

your family will jump out of their skins for joy, when they
hear how famously you are getting on.

It was impossible in decency to avoid asking how my
father, my mother, and my uncle stood in the world; but
that duty was performed in so gingerly a manner, as to leave
the grocer Uttle room to compKment dame Nature on her
liberal provision of instinct. He seemed quite shocked at
my indifference for such near kindred, and told me bluntly,
with his coarse shopman's familiarity, Methinks you might
have shown more heartiness and natural feeling for your
kinsfolk! Why, you ask after them just as if they were
vermin ! Your father and mother are still at service ; take
that in your dish ! And the good canon, Gil Perez, eat up
with gout, rheumatism, and old age, has one foot in the
grave. People should feel as people ought ; and seeing that
you are in a berth to be a blessing to your poor parents, take
a friend's advice, and allow them two hundred pistoles a
year. That will be doing a handsome thing, and making
them comfortable, and then you may spend the rest upon
yourself with a good conscience. Instead of being softened
by this family picture, I only resented the officiousness of
unasked advice. A more delicate and covert remonstrance
might perhaps have made its impression, but so bold a re-
buke only hardened* my heart. My sulky silence was not
lost upon him, so that while he morahzed himself out of
charity into downright abuse, my choler began to overflow.
Nay, then! this is too much, answered I, in a devil of a
passion. Get about your business. Master Muscada, and
mind your own shop. You are a pretty fellow to preach to
me ! As if I were to be taught my duty by you. Without
further parley I handed the grocer out of my closet by the
shoulder, and sent him off to weigh figs and nutmegs at
Oviedo.

The home-strokes he had laid on were not lost to my
sober recollection. My neglect of filial piety struck home
to my heart, and melted me into tears. When I recollected
how much my childhood was indebted to my parents, what
pains they had taken in my education, these affecting
thoughts gave language for the moment to the still small
voice of nature and gratitude; but the language was never
translated into sohd sense and service. An habitual callous-
ness succeeded this transient sensation, and peremptorily

1 54 History of Gil Bias

cancelled every obligation of humanity. There are many
fathers besides mine, who will acknowledge this portrait of
their sons.

Avarice and ambition, dividing me between them, anni-
hilated every trace of my former temper. I lost all my
gaiety, became absent and moping, — in short, a most un-
sociable animal. Fabricio seeing me so furiously bent on
accumulation, and so perfectly indifferent to him, very
rarely came to see me. He could not help saying one day :
In truth, Gil Bias, you are quite an altered man. Before
you were about the court, you were always pleasant and
easy. Now you are all agitation and turmoil. You form
project after project to make a fortune, and the more you
realize, the wider your views of aggrandizement extend.
But this is not the worst ! You have no longer that expan-
sion of heart, those open manners, which form the charm of
friendship. On the contrary, you wrap yourself round, and
shut the avenues of your heart even to me. In your very
civihties, I detect the violence you impose upon yourself.
In short, Gil Bias is no longer the same Gil Bias whom I once
knew.

You really have a most happy talent for bantering,
answered I, with repulsive jocularity. But this meta-
morphose into the shag of a savage is not perceptible to my-
self. Your own eyes, repHed he, are insensible to the change,
because they are fascinated. But the fact remains the same.
Now, my friend, teU me fairly and honestly, shaU we live
together as heretofore? When I used to knock at your
door in the morning, you came and opened it yourself,
between asleep and awake, and I walked in without cere-
mony. Now, what a difference! You have an estabHsh-
ment of servants. They keep me coohng my heels in
your ante-chamber; my name must be sent in before
I can speak to you. When this is got over, what is my
reception ? A cold inclination of the head, and the insolent
strut of office. Any one would suppose that my visits were
growing troublesome ! Can you suppose this to be treat-
ment for a man who was once on equal terms with you ?
No, SantiUane, it can never be, nor will I bear it longer.
Farewell ! Let us part without ill blood. We shall both be
better asunder; you will get rid of a troublesome censor, and
I of a purse-proud upstart who does not know himself.

Scipio's Scheme of Marriage 155

I felt myself more exasperated than reformed by his re-
proaches; and suffered him to take his departure without
the shghtest effort to overcome his resolution. In the
present temper of my mind, the friendship of a poet did not
seem a catch of sufficient importance to break one's heart
about its loss. I found ample amends in the intimacy of
some subaltern attendants about the king's person, with
whom a similarity of humour had lately connected me
closely. These new acquaintance of mine were for the
most part men from no one knows where, pushed up to their
appointments more by luck than merit. They had all got
into warm berths; and, wretches as they were, measuring
their own consequence by the excess of royal bounty, forgot
their origin as scandalously as I forgot mine. We gave
ourselves infinite credit for what told so much and bitterly
to our disgrace. O fortune ! what a jade you are, to distri-
bute your favours at hap-hazard as you do ! Epictetus was
perfectly in the right, when he likened you to a jilt of fashion,
prowHng about in masquerade, and tipping the wink to
every blackguard who parades the street.

BOOK THE NINTH
CHAPTER I

SCIPIO'S SCHEME OF MARRIAGE FOR GIL BLAS. THE MATCH,
A RICH goldsmith's DAUGHTER. CIRCUMSTANCES CON-
NECTED WITH THIS SPECULATION

One evening, on the departure of my supper company,
finding myself alone with Scipio, I asked him what he had
been doing that day. Striking a master-stroke, answered
he. I intend that you should marry. A goldsmith of my
acquaintance has an only daughter, and I mean to make up
a match between you.

A goldsmith's daughter! exclaimed I with a disdainful
air : are you out of your senses ? Can you think of tying me
up to a trinket-maker? People of a certain character in
society, and on a certain footing at court, ought to have
much higher views of things. Pardon me, sir! rejoined

156 History of Gil Bias

Scipio, do not take the subject up in that light. Recollect
that nobiUty accrues by the male side, and do not ride a
higher horse than a thousand jockeys of quahty whom I
could name. Do you know that the heiress in question will
bring a hundred thousand ducats in her pocket ? Is not that
a pretty Uttle sprig of jewellery ? To the resounding echo
of so large a sum, my ears were instantly symphonious.
The day is your own, said I to the secretary; the fortune
determines the case in the lady's favour. When do you
mean to put me in possession? Fair and softly, sir,
answered he, the more haste the worse speed. It will be
necessary for me first to communicate the affair to the
father, and instil the advantage Of it into his capacity.
Good! rejoined I with a burst of laughter; is it thereabouts
you are? The match is far advanced in its progress to-
wards consummation. Much nearer than you suppose,
replied he. But one hour's conversation with the gold-
smith, and I pledge myself for his consent. But, before we
go any further, let us come to an agreement, if you please.
Supposing that I should transfer a hundred thousand
ducats to you, what would my commission be? Twenty
thousand ! was my answer. Heaven be praised therefore !
said he, I guessed your gratitude at ten thousand ; so that
it doubles mine in a similar case. Come on then ! I will set
this negotiation on foot to-morrow morning; and you may
count upon its success, or I am little better than one of the
foolish ones.

In fact, he said to me two days afterwards, I have spoken
to Signor Gabriel Salero, my friend the goldsmith. On the
loud report of your high desert and credit, he has lent a
favourable ear to my offer of you for a son-in-law. You
are to have his daughter with a hundred thousand ducats,
provided you can make it appear clearly that you are in
possession of the minister's good graces. Since that is the
case, said I confidently to Scipio, I shall soon be married.
But, not entirely to forget the girl, have you seen her ? is she
pretty ? Not quite so pretty as her fortune, answered he.
Between ourselves, this heiress's looks are as hard as her
cash. Luckily, you are perfectly indifferent about that.
Stone blind, by the light of the sun, my good fellow ! rephed
I. As for us whimsical fellows about court, we marry
merely for the sake of marrying. When we want beauty.

Scipio's Scheme of Marriage 157

we look for it in our friends' wives; and if, by fates and des-
tinies, the sweets are wasted on our own, their flavour is so
mawkish to our palate, that there is some merit in their not
carrying the commodity to a foreign market.

This is not all, resumed Scipio : Signor Gabriel hopes for
the pleasure of your company to supper this evening. By
agreement, there is to be no mention of marriage. He has
invited several of his mercantile friends to this entertain-
ment, where you will take your chance with the rest, and
to-morrow he means to sup with you on the same terms.
By this you will perceive his drift of looking before he leaps.
You will do well to be a Httle on your guard before him. Oh!
for the matter of that, interrupted I with an air of confidence,
let him scrutinize me as closely as he pleases, the result
cannot fail to be in my favour.

All this happened as it was foretold. I was introduced
at the goldsmith's, who received me with the familiarity of
an old acquaintance. A vulgar dog, but warm; and as
troublesome with his civiHty as a prude with her virtue.
He presented me to Signora Eugenia his wife, and the
youthful Gabriela his daughter. I opened wide my budget
of comphments, without infringing the treaty, and prattled
soft nothings to them, in all the vacuity of courtly dialogue.

Gabriela, with subgiission to my secretary's better taste,
was not altogether so repulsive; whether by dint of being
outrageously bedizened, or because I looked at her in the
raree-shew box of her fortune. A charming house this of
Signor Gabriel ! There is less silver, I verily beheve, in the
Peruvian mines, than under his roof. That metal presented
itself to the view in all directions, under a thousand different
forms. Every room, and especially that where we were
entertained, was a fairy palace. What a bird's eye view for
a son-in-law ! The old codger, to do the thing genteelly, had
collected five or six merchants about him, all plodding
spirit-wearing personages. Their tongues could only talk of
what their hearts were set upon; it was high change all
supper- time; but unfortunately wit was at a discount.

Next night, it was my turn to treat the goldsmith. Not
being able to dazzle him with my sideboard, I had recourse
to another artifice. I invited to supper such of my friends
as made the finest figure at court; hangers-on of state,
I noted for the unwieldiness of their ambition. These fellows

1 58 History of Gil Bias

could not talk on common topics: the brilliant and lucrative
posts at which they aimed were all canvassed in detail;
this too made its way. Poor counting-house Gabriel, in
amazement at the loftiness of their ideas, shrunk into insig-
nificance, in spite of all his hoards, on a comparison with
these wonderful men. As for me, in all the plausibiHty of
moderation, I professed to wish for nothing more than a
comfortable fortune ; a snug box and a competence : where-
upon these gluttons of the loaves and fishes cried out with
one voice that I was wrong, absolutely criminal; for the
prime minister would do anything upon earth for me, and it
was an act of duty to anoint my fingers with bird-lime. My
honoured papa lost not a word of all this; and seemed, at
going away, to take his leave with some complacency.

Scipio went of course the next morning, to ask him how he
liked me. Extremely well indeed, answered the knight of
the ledger; the lad has won my very heart. But, good
master Scipio, I conjure you by our long acquaintance to
deal with me as a true friend. We have all our weak side, as
you well know. Tell me where Signor de Santillane is falh-
ble. Is he fond of play ? does he wench ? On what lay are
his snug Httle vices ? Do not fight shy, I beseech you. It
is very unkind, Signor Gabriel, to put such a question,
retorted the go-between. Your interest is more to me than
my master's. If he had any slippery propensities, likely to
make your daughter unhappy, would I ever have proposed
him as a son-in-law ? The deuce a bit ! I am too much at
your service. But, between ourselves, he has but one
fault; that of being faultless. He is too wise for a young
man. So much the better, rephed the goldsmith ; he is the
more hke me. You may go, my friend, and tell him he shall
have my daughter, and should have her though he knew no
more of the minister than I do.

As soon as my secretary had reported this conversation, II
flew to thank Salero for his partiahty. He had already told
his mind to his wife and daughter, who gave me to under-
stand by their reception, that they yielded without disgust.
I carried my father-in-law to the Duke of Lerma, whom I
had informed the evening before, and presented him with
due ceremony. His excellency gave him a most gracious
reception, and congratulated him on having chosen a man
for his son-in-law, for whom he himself had so great a regard,

Gil Bias' Service to Don Alphonso 159

and meant to do such great things. Then did he expatiate
on my good quaUties, and, in fact, said so much to my
honour, that honest Gabriel thought he had met with the
best match in Spain. His joy oozed out at his eyes. On
parting, he pressed me in his arms, and said : My son, I am
so impatient to see you Gabriela's husband, that the affair
shall be finally settled within a week at latest.

CHAPTER II

IN THE PROGRESS OF POLITICAL VACANCIES, GIL BLAS RECOL-
LECTS THAT THERE IS SUCH A MAN IN THE WORLD AS
i DON ALPHONSO DE LEYVA ; AND RENDERS HIM A SERVICE

f FROM MOTIVES OF VANITY

Let us leave my marriage to take care of itself for a seasoa
The order of events requires me to recount a service rendered
to my old master Don Alphonso. I had entirely forgotten
that gentleman's existence ; but a circumstance recalled it to-
my recollection.

The government of Valencia became vacant at this time ;
and put me in mind of Don Alphonso de Leyva. I con-
sidered within myself that the employment would suit him
to a nicety; and determined to apply for it on his behalf, not
so much out of friendship as ostentation. If I could but
procure it for him, it would do me infinite honour. I told
the Duke of Lerma that I had been steward to Don Caesar
de Leyva and his son; and that having every reason in the
world to feel myself obliged to them, I should take it as a
favour if he would give the government of Valencia to one or
other of them. The minister answered: Most willingly, Gil
Bias. I love to see you grateful and generous. Besides,
the family stands very high in my esteem. The Leyvas are
loyal subjects; so that the place cannot be better bestowed.
You may take it as a wedding present, and do what you like
with it.

Delighted at the success of my application, I went to
Calderona in a prodigious hurry, to get the patent made out
for Don Alphonso. There was a great crowd, waiting in
respectful silence till Don Rodrigo should come and give
audience. I made my way through, and the closet door

1 60 History of Gil Bias

opened as if by sympathy. There were no one knows how
many military and civil officers, with other people of conse-
quence, among whom Calderona was dividing his attentions.
His different reception of different people was curious. A
shght inclination of the head was enough for some; others
he honoured with a profusion of courtly grimace, and bowed
them out of the closet. The proportions of civiHty were
weighed to a scruple. On the other hand, there were some
suitors who, shocked at his cold indifference, cursed in their
secret soul the necessity for their cringing before such a
monkey of an idol. Others, on the contrary, were laughing
in their sleeve at his gross and self-sufficient air. But the
scene was thrown away upon me ; nor was I likely to profit
by such a lesson. It was exactly the counterpart of my own
behaviour: and I never thought of ascertaining whether my
deportment was popular or offensive, so long as there was no
violation of outward respect.

Don Rodrigo accidentally casting a look towards me, left
a gentleman, to whom he was speaking, without ceremony,
and came to pay his respects with the most unaccountable
tokens of high consideration. Ah, my dear colleague!
exclaimed he, what occasion procures me the pleasure of
seeing you here! Is there anything we can do for you?
I told him my business; whereupon he assured me, in the
most obliging terms, that the affair should be expedited
within four-and-twenty hours. Not satisfied with these
overwhelming condescensions, he conducted me to the
door of his ante-chamber, whither he never attended any
but the nobility of first rank. His farewell was as flattering
as his reception.

What is the meaning of all this palaver ? said I while re-
treating ; has any raven croaked my entrance, and prophe-
sied promotion to Calderona by my overthrow ? Does he
really languish for my friendship ? or does he feel the ground
giving way under his feet, and wish to save himself by
cHnging to the branches of my favour and protection ? It
seemed a moot point, which of these conjectures might be
the right. The following day, on my return, his behaviour
was of the same stamp; caresses and civilities poured in upon
me in torrents. It is true that other people who attempted
to speak to him, were rumped in exact proportion with the
blandishments of his face towards me. He snarled at some,

Gil Bias' Service to Don Alphonso i6i

petrified others, and made the whole circle run the gauntlet
of his displeasure. But they were all amply avenged by
an occurrence, the relation of which may give a gentle hint
to all the clerks and secretaries on the list of my readers.

A man very plainly dressed, and certainly not looking at
all like what he was, came up to Calderona and spoke to him
about a memorial, stated to have been presented by him-
self to the Duke of Lerma. Don Rodrigo, without looking
from his clothes up to his face, said in a sharp, ungracious
tone — Who may you happen to be, honest man? They
called me Francillo in my childhood, answered the stranger
unabashed; my next style and title was that of Don Fran-
cillo de Zuniga; and my present name is the Count de
Pedrosa. Calderona was all in a twitter at this discovery,
and attempted to stammer out an excuse, when he found
that he had to do with a man of the first quality. Sir, said
he to the Count, I have to beg you ten thousand pardons;
but not knowing whom I had the honour to .... I want
none of your apologies, interrupted Francillo with proud
indignation; they are as nauseous as your rudeness was
unbecoming. Recollect henceforth, that a minister's
secretary ought to receive all descriptions of people with
good manners. You may be vain enough to aSect the
representative of your master, but the public know you for
his menial servant.

The haughty Don Rodrigo blushed blue at this rebuke.
Yet it did not mend his manners one whit. On me it made
a salutary impression. I determined to take care and
ascertain the rank of my petitioners, before I gave a loose
to the insolence of office, and to inflict torture only upon
mutes. As Don Alphonso's patent was made out, I sent it
by a purpose messenger, with a letter from the Duke of
Lerma, announcing the royal favour. But I took no
notice of my own share in the appointment, nor even
accompanied it with a fine, in the fond hope of announcing
it by word of mouth, and surprising him agreeably, when
he came to the court on occasion of taking the customary
oaths.

II

1 62 History of Gil Bias

CHAPTER III

PREPARATIONS FOR THE MARRIAGE OF GIL BLAS. A SPOKE
IN THE WHEEL OF HYMEN

And now once more for my lovely Gabriela ! We were
to be married in a week. Preparations were making on
both sides for the ceremony. Salero ordered a rich ward-
robe for the bride, and I hired a waiting-woman for her, a
footman, and a gentleman usher of decent aspect and
advanced years. The whole establishment was provided
by Scipio, who longed more longingly than myself for the
hour when we were to be fingering the fortune.

On the evening before the happy day, I was supping with
my father-in-law, the rest of the company being made up
of uncles, aunts, and cousins of either sex and every degree.
The part of a supple-visaged son-in-law sat upon me to
perfection. Nothing could exceed my profound respect
for the goldsmith and his wife, or the transports of my
passion at Gabriela's feet, while I smoothed my way into
the graces of the family, by listening with impregnable
patience to their witless repartees and irrational ratiocina-
tions. Thus did I gain the great end of all my forbearance,
the pleasure of pleasing my new relations. Every indivi-
dual of the clan felt himself a foot taller for the honour of my
alliance.

The repast ended, the company moved into a large room,
where we were entertained with a concert of vocal and
instrumental music, not the worst that was ever heard,
though the performers were not selected from the choicest
bands at Madrid. Some lively airs put us in mind of danc-
ing. Heaven knows what sort of performers we must have
been, when they took me for the coryphaeus of the opera,
though I never had but two or three lessons from a petty
dancing-master, who taught the pages on the estabhsh-
ment of the Marchioness de Chaves. After we had tired our
tendons, it was time to think of going home. There was no
end of my bows and God-bless-you's. Farewell, my dear
son-in-law, said Salero as he squeezed my hand, I shall be
at your house in the morning with the portion in ready
money. You will be welcome, come when you list, my dear

Gil Bias in the Tower of Segovia 163

father-in-law, answered I. Afterwards, wishing the family
good night, 1 jumped into my carriage, and ordered it to
drive home.

Scarcely had I got two hundred yards from Signor
Gabriel's house, when fifteen or twenty men, some on foot
and some on horseback, all with swords and fire-arms, sur-
rounded and stopped the coach, crying out, In the name of
our sovereign lord the king. They dragged me out by main
force, and thrust me into a hack-chaise, when the leader of
the party got in with me, and ordered the driver to go for
Segovia. There could be no doubt but the honest gentle-
man by my side was an alguazil. I wanted to know some-
thing about the cause of my arrest, but he answered in the
language of those gentry, which is very bad language, that he
had other things to do than to satisfy my impertinent
curiosity. I suggested that he might have mistaken his
man. No, no, retorted he, the fool is wiser than that.
You are Signor de Santillane ; and in that case you are to go
along with me. Not being able to deny that fact, it be-
came an act of prudence to hold my tongue. For the re-
mainder of the night we traversed Mancanarez in sulky
silence, changed horses at Colmenar, and arrived the next
evening at Segovia, where the lodging provided for me was
in the tower.

CHAPTER IV

THE TREATMENT OF GIL BLAS IN THE TOWER OF SEGOVIA.
THE CAUSE OF HIS IMPRISONMENT

Their first favour was to clap me up in a cell, where they
left me on the straw like a criminal, whose only earthly
portion was to con over his dying speech in solitude. I
passed the night, not in bewailing my fate, for it had not
yet presented itself in all its aggravation, but in endeavour-
ing to divine its cause. Doubtless it must have been
Calderona's handywork. And yet though his branching
honours might have pressed thick upon his senses, I could
not conceive how the Duke of Lerma could have been in-
duced to treat me so inhumanly. Sometimes I appre-
hended my arrest to have been without his excellency's
knowledge; at other times I thought him the contriver of it.

1 64 History of Gil Bias

for some political reasons, such as weigh with ministers
when they sacrifice their accomplices at the shrine of state
poHcy.

My mind was vibrating to and fro with these various con-
jectures, when the dawn peeping in at my Uttle grated
window, presented to my sight all the horror of the place
where I was confined. Then did I vent my sorrows with-
out ceasing, and my eyes became two springs of tears,
flowing inexhaustibly at the remembrance of my prosperous
state. Pending this paroxysm of grief, a turnkey brought
me my day's allowance of bread and water. He looked at
me, and on the contemplation of my tear-besprinkled
visage, gaoler as he was, there came over him a sentiment
of pity : Do not despair, said he. This fife is full of crosses,
but mind them not. You are young ; after these days, you
will live to see better. In the mean time, eat at the king's
mess, with what appetite you may.

My comforter withdrew with this quaint invitation,
answered by my groans and tears. The rest of the day
was spent in cursing my wayward destiny, without thinking
of my empty stomach. As for the royal morsel, it seemed
more hke the message of wrath than the boon of benevo-
lence; the tantalizing protraction of pain, rather than the
solace of affliction.

Night came, and with it the rattle of a key in my keyhole.
My dungeon door opened, and in came a man with a wax-
light in his hand. He advanced towards me, saying —
Signor Gil Bias, behold in me one of your old friends. I
am Don Andrew de Tordesillas, in the Archbishop of
Grenada's service while you enjoyed that prelate's favour.
You may recollect engaging his interest in my behalf,
and thereby procuring me a post in Mexico ; but instead of
embarking for the Indies, I stopped in the town of AHcant.
There I married the governor's daughter, and by a series
of adventures of which you shall hereafter have the par-
ticulars, I am now warden of this tower. It is expressly
forbidden me to let you speak to any living soul, to give you
any better bed than straw, or any other sustenance than
bread and water. But besides that your misfortunes in-
terest my humanity, you have done me service, and grati-
tude countervails the harshness of my orders. They think
to make me the instrument of their cruelty, but it is my

Gil Bias in the Tower of Segovia 165

better purpose to soften the rigour of your captivity. Get
up and follow me.

Though my humane keeper was entitled to some acknow-
ledgment, my spirits were so affected as to interdict my
speech. All I could do was to attend him. We crossed a
court, and mounted a narrow staircase to a Uttle room at the
top of the tower. It was no small surprise, on entering, to
find a table with lights on it, neatly set out with covers for
two. They will serve up immediately, said Tordesillas.
We are going to sup together. This snug retreat is appoint-
ed for your lodging; it will agree better with you than your
cell. From your window you will look down on the flowery
banks of the Erema, and the delicious vale of Coca, bounded
by the mountains which divide the two Castiles. At first
you will care little for prospects; but when time shall have
softened your keener sensations into a composed melan-
choly, it will be a pleasure to feast your eyes on such
engaging scenes. Then, as for linen and other necessaries
befitting a man accustomed to the comforts of hfe, they
shall be always at your service. Your bed and board shall
be such as you could wish, with a plentiful supply of
books. In a word, you shall have everything but your
hberty.

My spirits were a little tranquillized by these obliging
offers. I took courage and returned my best thanks,
assuring him that his generous conduct restored me to Ufe,
and that I hoped at some time or other to find an opportu-
nity of testifjdng my gratitude. To be sure! and why
should you not? answered he. Did you fancy yourself a
prisoner for life ? Nothing less likely ! and I would lay a
wager that you will be released in a very few months. What
say you, Signor Don Andrew? exclaimed I. Then surely
you are acquainted with the occasion of my misfortune.
You guess right, repHed he. The alguazil who brought you
hither told me the whole story in confidence. The king,
hearing that the Count de Lemos and you were in the habit
of escorting the Prince of Spain by night to a house of sus-
picious character, as a punishment for your loose morals,
has banished the count, and sent you hither, to be treated
in the style of which you have had a specimen. And how,
said I, did that circumstance come to the king's knowledge ?
That is what I am most curious to ascertain. And that.

1 66 History of Gil Bias

answered he, is precisely what the alguazil did not tell,
apparently because he did not know.

At tliis epoch of our conversation, the servants brought
in supper. When everything was set in order, TordesiUas
sent away the attendants, not wishing our conversation to
be overheard. He shut the door, and we took our seats
opposite to each other. Let us say grace, and fall to, said
he. Your appetite ought to be good after two days of
fasting. Under this impression he loaded my plate as if he
had been craimming the craw of a starveling. In fact,
notliing was more likely than that I should play the devil
among the ragouts; but what is hkely does not always
happen. Though my intestines were yearning for support,
their staple stuck in my throat, for my heart loathed all
pleasurable indulgence in the present state of my affairs.
In vain did my warden, to drive away the blue devils,
pledge me continually, and expatiate on the excellence of
his wine; imperishable nectar would have been pricked
according to the fastidious report of my palate. This being
the case, he went another way to work, and told me the
story of his marriage, with as much humour as such a sub-
ject would admit. Here he was still less successful. So
w^andering was my attention, that before the end I had
forgotten the beginning and the middle. At length he was
convinced that there was no diverting my gloomy thoughts
for that evening. After finishing his solitary supper, he
rose from table, saying : Signor de Santillane, I shall leave
you to your repose, or rather to the free indulgence of your
own reveries. But, take my word for it, your misfortune
will not be of long continuance. The king is naturally
good. When his anger shaU have passed away, and your
deplorable estate shall occur to his milder thoughts, your
punishment will appear sufficient in his eyes. With these
words, my kind-hearted gaoler went down-stairs, and sent
the servants to take away. Not even the brass candlesticks
were left behind ; and I went to bed by the palpable darkness
of a glimmering lamp suspended against the waU.

Reflections before going to Sleep 1 67

CHAPTER V

HIS REFLECTIONS BEFORE HE WENT TO SLEEP THAT NIGHT,
AND THE NOISE THAT WAKED HIM

Two hours at least were my thoughts employed on what
Tordesillas had told me. Here, then, am I, for having lent
myself to the pleasures of the heir-apparent! It was
certainly not having my wits about me, to pander for so
young a prince. Therein consists my crime; had he been
arrived at a more knowing age, the king perhaps might only
have laughed at what has now made him so angry. But
who can have given such counsel to the monarch, without
dreading the prince's resentment or the Duke of Lerma's ?
That minister will doubtless take ample vengeance for his
nephew the Count de Lemos. How can the king have
made the discovery? That is above my comprehen-
sion.

This last was the eternal burden of my song. But the
idea most affiicti\^ to my mind, what drove me to despair,
and laid fiend-like hold upon my fancy, was the unquestion-
ed plunder of my effects. My strong box, exclaimed I, my
dear wealth, what is become of you ? Into what hands have
you fallen ? Alas ! you are lost in less time than you were
gained! The ruinous confusion of my household was the
perpetual death's-head of my imagination. Yet this wilder-
ness of melancholy ideas sheltered me from absolute dis-
traction : sleep, which had shunned my wretched straw, now
paid his readier visit to my soft and gentlemanly couch.
Watching and wine, too, imparted a strong narcotic to his
poppies. My slumbers were profound; and to all appear-
ance, the day might have peeped in upon my repose, if I
had not been awakened aU at once by such sounds as rarely
perforate a prison wall. I heard the thnmi of a guitar,
accompanying a man's voice. My whole attention was
absorbed; but the invisible musician paused, and left the
fleeting impression of a dream. An instant afterwards, my
ear was soothed with the sound of the same instrument, and
the Scime voice.

1 68 History of Gil Bias

Wisely the ant against poor winter hoards
The stock which summer's wealth affords;
In grasshoppers, that must at autumn die.
How vain were such an industry !

Of love or fortune the deceitful light
Might half excuse our cheated sight,
If it of Hfe the whole small time would stay,
And be our sunshine all the day.*

These verses, which sounded as if they had been sung
expressly for the dirge of my departed happiness, were only
an aggravation of my feehngs. The truth of the sentiment,
said I, is but too well exemphfied in me. The meteor of
court favour has but plunged me in substantial darkness;
the summer sunshine of ambition is quenched in these
autumnal glooms. Now did I sink again into cold and
comfortless meditation; my miseries began to flow afresh,
as if they fed and grew upon their own vital stream. Yet
my wailings ended with the night ; and the first rays which
played upon my chamber wall amused my mind into com-
posure. I got up to open my window, and let the vivid air
of morning into my room. Then I glanced over the country,
so attractively depicted in th^ description of my keeper. It
did not seem to justify his paneg5nic. The Erema, a
second Tagus in my magnifying fancy, was little better than
a brook. Its flowery banks were fringed with nettles, and
arrayed in all the majesty of thistles; the delicious vale in
this fairy prospect was a barren wilderness, untamed by
human labour. It therefore was very evident that my
keener sensations were not yet softened into such a com-
posed melancholy, as could give any but a jaundiced
colouring to the landscape.

I began dressing, and had already half finished my toilet,
when Tordesillas ushered in an old chambermaid, laden
with shirts and towels. Signor Gil Bias, said he, here is
your hnen. Do not be saving of it ; there shall always be as
many changes as you can possibly want. Well now ! and

♦ To have substituted, with a shght variation, these two stanzas
from Cowley for a translation of the common-place couplet in the
original, will probably not be thought to require any apology.
They necessarily involve a change in the consequent reflections of
our hero. Translator.

Reflections before going to Sleep 169

how have you passed the night? Has the drowsy god
administered his anodyne? I could have slept till this
time, answered I, if I had not been awakened by a voice
singing to a guitar. The cavalier who has disturbed your
repose, resumed he, is a state prisoner; and his chamber is
contiguous to yours. He is a knight of the military order
of Calatrava, and is a very accomplished person. His
name is Don Gaston de CogoUos. You may meet as often
as you hke, and take your meals together. It will afford
reciprocal consolation to compare your fortunes. There
can be no doubt of your being agreeable to one another. I
assured Don Andrew how sensible I was of his indulgence
in allowing me to blend my sorrows with those of my fellow-
sufferer ; and, as I betrayed some impatience to be acquainted
with him, our accommodating warden met my wishes on
the very same day. He fixed me to dine with Don Gaston,
whose prepossessing physiognomy and symmetry of feature
struck me sensibly. Judge what it must have been, to
make so strong an impression on eyes accustomed to
encounter the dazzling exterior of the court. Figure to
yourself a man fashioned in the mould of pleasure; one of
those heroes in romance, who has only to shew his face, and
banish the sweet sleep from the eyehds of princesses. Add
to this, that nature, who is generally bountiful with one
hand and niggardly with the other, had crowned the per-
fections of CogoUos with wit and valour. He was a man,
whose hke, take him for all in all, we might not soon look
upon again.

If this fine fellow was mightily to my taste, it was my
good luck not to be altogether offensive to him. He no
longer sang at night for fear of annoying me, though I
begged him by no means to restrain his inchnations on my
account. A bond of union is soon formed between brethren
in misfortune. A close friendship succeeded to mere
acquaintance, and strengthened from day to day. The
Hberty of uninterrupted intercourse contributed greatly to
our mutual support; our burden became hghter by division.

One day after dinner I went into his room, just as he was
tuning his guitar. To hear him more at my ease, I sat
down on the only stool; while he, reclining on his bed,
played a pathetic air, and sang to it a ditty, expressing the
despair of a lover and the cruelty of his mistress. When

I JO History of Gil Bias

he had finished, I said to him with a smile, Sir knight, such
strains as these could never be applicable to your own
successes with the fair. You were not made to cope with
female repulse. You think too well of me, answered he.
The verses you have just heard were composed to fit my
own case; to soften a heart of adamant. You must hear
my story, and in my story, my distresses.

CHAPTER VI

HISTORY OF DON GASTON DE COGOLLOS AND DONNA HELENA
DE GALISTEO

It wiU be very soon four years since I left Madrid to go
and see my aunt Donna Eleonora de Laxarilla at Coria : she
is one of the richest dowagers in Old Castile, with myself for
her only heir. Scarcely had I got within her doors, when
love invaded my repose. The windows of my room faced
the lattice of a lady living opposite: but the street was
narrow, and her blinds pervious to the eye. It was an
opportunity too delicious to be lost; and I found my neigh-
bour so lovely that my heart was captivated. The subject
of my sentry-watch could not be mistaken. She marked it
well ; but she was not a girl to glory in the detection, still less
to encourage my fooleries.

It was natural to inquire the name of this mighty con-
queror. I learnt it to be Donna Helena, only daughter of
Don George de Galisteo, lord of a large domain near Coria.
She had innumerable offers of marriage; but her father
repulsed them all, because he meant to bestow her hand on
his nephew, Don Austin de Olighera, who had uninter-
rupted access to his cousin while the settlements were pre-
paring. This was no bar to my hopes: on the contrary, it
whetted my eagerness: and the insolent pleasure of sup-
planting a favoured rival was, perhaps, at bottom equally
my motive with a more noble passion. My visual artillery
was obstinately planted against my unyielding fair. Her
attendant Felicia was not without the incense of a glance, to
soften her rigid constancy in my favour; while nods and
becks stood for the current coin of language. But all
these efforts of gallantry were in vain — the maid was im-

History of Don Gaston de CogoUos 1 7 1

pregnable like her mistress — never was there such a pair of
cold and cruel ones.

The commerce of the eyes being so unthrifty, I had re-
course to different agents. My scouts were on the watch to
hunt out what acquaintance Fehcia might have in town.
They discovered an old lady, by name Theodora, to be her
most intimate friend, and that they often met. Dehghted
at the intelligence, I went point blank to Theodora, and
engaged her by presents in my interest. She took my
cause up heartily, promised to contrive an interview for me
with her friend, and kept her engagement the very next day.

I am no longer the wretch of yesterday, said I to Felicia,
since my sufferings have melted you to pity. How deep is
my debt to your friend for her kind interference in my be-
half. Sir, answered she, Theodora can do what she pleases
with me. She has brought me over to your side of the
question ; and if I can do you a kindness, you shall soon be
at the smnmit of your wishes; but, with all my partiality in
your favour, I know not how far my efforts may be success-
ful. It would be cruel to mislead you: the prize will not be
gained without a severe conflict. The object of your passion
is betrothed to another gentleman, and her character
most inauspicious to your designs. Such is her pride, and
so closely locked are her secrets within her own breast, that
if, by constancy and assiduities, you could extort from her a
few sighs, fancy not that her haughty spirit would indulge
your ears with their music. Ah ! my dear Fehcia, exclaimed
I in an agony, why will you thus magnify the obstacles in
my way ? To set them in array will kill me. Lead me on
with false hopes, if you will; but do not drive me to despair.
With these words I took one of her hands, pressed it between
mine, and sHd a diamond on her finger value three hundred
pistoles, with such a moving compliment as made her weep
again.

Such speeches and corresponding actions deserv^ed some
scanty comfort. She smoothed a httle the rugged path of
love. Sir, said she, what I have just been telling you need
not quite quench your hope. Yoiu: rival, it is true, is in
possession of the ground. He comes back and fore as he
pleases. He toys with her as often as he hkes, but all that
is in your favour. The habit of constant intercourse sheds
a languor over their meetings. They part without pain.

172 History of Gil Bias

and come together without emotion. One would take them
for man and wife. In a word, my mistress has no marks of
violent love for Don Austin. Besides, in point of person,
there is such a difference between you and him as cannot
fail to catch the eye of a nice observer like Donna Helena.
Therefore do not be cast down. Continue your particular
attentions. You shall have a second in me. I shall let no
opportunity escape of pointing out to my mistress the merit
of all your exertions to please her. In vain shaU she in-
trench herself behind reserve. In spite of guard and
garrison, I will ransack the muster-roll of her sentiments.

Now were my open attacks and secret ambuscades more
fiercely pointed against the daughter of Don George.
Among the rest, I entertained her with a serenade. After
the concert Felicia, to sound her mistress, begged to know
how she had been entertained. The singer had a good
voice, said Donna Helena. But how did you like the words?
repUed the abigail. I scarcely noted them, returned the
lady ; the music engrossed my whole attention. The poetry
excited as little curiosity as its author. If that is the case,
exclaimed the chambermaid, poor Don Gaston de Colgollos
is reckoning without his host; and a miserable spendthrift
of his glances, to be always oghng at our lattice-work. Per-
haps it may not be he, said the mistress with petrifying
indifference, but some other spark, announcing his passion
by this concert. Excuse me, answered Felicia, it is Don
Gaston himself, who accosted me this morning in the street,
and implored me to assure you how he adored, in defiance
of your rigorous repulses: but that he should esteem himself
the most blest of mortals, if you would allow him to soothe
his desponding thoughts by all the most dehcate and im-
passioned attentions. Judge now if I can be mistaken,
after so open an avowal.

Don George's daughter changed countenance at once, and
said to her servant with a severe frown, You might weU have
dispensed with the relation of this impertinent discourse.
Bring me no more such idle tales; and teU this young mad-
man, when next he accosts you, to play off his shallow
artifices on some more accommodating fool; but, at all
events, let him choose a more gentlemanly recreation than
that of lounging all day at his window, and prying into the
privacy of my apartment.

History of Don Gaston de CogoUos 173

This message was faithfully dehvered at my next inter-
view with Fehcia, who assured me that her mistress's modes
of speech were not to be taken in their literal construction,
but that my affairs were in the best possible train. For
my part, being Httle read in the science of coquetry, and
finding no favourable sense on the face of the author's
original words, I was half out of humour with the wire-
drawn comments of the critic. She laughed at my mis-
giving, and asked her friend for pen, ink, and paper, saying:
Sir knight of the doleful countenance, write immediately to
Donna Helena as dolefully as you look. Make echo ring
with your sufferings; outsigh the river's murmur; and,
above all, let rocks and woods resound with the prohibition
of appearing at your window. Then pawn your existence
on obeying her, though without the possibility ever to re-
deem the pledge. Turn all that nonsense into pretty sen-
tences, as you gay deceivers so well know how to do, and
leave the rest to me. The event, I flatter myself, will re-
dound more than you are aware to the honour of my pene-
tration.

He must have been a strange lover who would not have
profited by so opportune an occasion of writing to his
mistress. My letter was couched in the most pathetic
terms. Fehcia smiled at its contents; and said, that if the
women knew the art of infatuating men, the men in return
had borrowed their influence over women from the arch
wheedler himself. My privy counsellor took the note, and
went back to Don George's, with a special injunction that
my windows should be fast shut for some days.

Madam, said she, going up to Donna Helena, I met Don
Gaston. He must needs endeavour to come round me with
his flattering speeches. In tremulous accents, like a cul-
prit pleading against his sentence, he begged to know
whether I had spoken to you on his behalf. Then, in
prompt and faithful compliance with your orders, I snapped
up the words out of his mouth. To be sure, my tongue did
run at a fine rate against him. I called him all manner of
names, and left him in the street Hke a stock, staring at my
termagant loquacity. I am delighted, answered Donna
Helena, that you have disengaged me from that troublesome
person. But there was no occasion to have snubbed him
so unmercifully. A creature of your degree should always

174 History of Gil Bias

keep a good tongue in its mouth. Madam, replied the
domestic, one cannot get rid of a determined lover by minc-
ing one's words, though it comes to much the same thing
when one flies into a passion. Don Gaston, for instance,
was not to be bulUed out of his senses. After having given it
him on both sides of his ears, as I told you, I went on that
errand of yours to the house of your relation. The lady, as
ill-luck would have it, kept me longer than she ought. I
say longer than she ought, because my plague and torment
met me on my return. Who the deuce would have thought
of seeing him? It put me all in a twitter; but then my
tongue, which at other times is apt to be in a twitter, stuck
motionless in my mouth. While my tongue stuck motion-
less in my mouth, what did he do ? He slid a paper into my
hand without giving me time to consider whether I should
take it or no, and made off in a moment.

After this introduction, she drew my letter from under her
stays, and gave it with half a banter to her mistress, who
affected to read it in humorous scorn, but digested the con-
tents most greedily, and then put on the starch, offended
prude. In good earnest, FeUcia, said she with all the
gravity she could assume, you were extremely off your guard,
quite bewildered and fascinated, to have taken the charge of
such an epistle. What construction would Don Gaston put
upon it ? What must I think of it myself ? You give me
reason, by this strange behaviour, to mistrust your fideUty,
while he must suspect me of encouraging his odious suit.
Alas! he may, perhaps, lay that flattering unction to his
soul, that my love is legible in these characters, and not his
trespass. Only consider how you lay my towering pride.
Oh! quite the reverse, madam, answered the petticoated
pleader; it is impossible for him to think that; and if he did,
he would soon be convinced with a flea in his ear. I shall
tell him, when next we meet, that I have dehvered his letter,
that you glanced at the superscription with petrifying in-
difference, and then, without reading a word, tore it into ten
thousand pieces. You may swear that I did not read it with
a safe conscience, replied Donna Helena. I should be
puzzled to retrace a single sentiment. Don George's
daughter, not contented with these words, suited the action
to them, tore my letter, and imposed silence on my advocate.

As I had promised no longer to play the lover at my win-

History of Don Gaston de Cogollos 175

iow, the farce of obedience was kept up for several days.
Ogling being interdicted, my courtship was doomed to enter
:n at my Helena's obdurate ears. One night I attended
mder her balcony with musicians; the first bars of the
serenade were akeady playing, when a swaggering blade,
sword in hand, rushed in upon our harmony, laying about
:iim to the right and left, to the utter discomfiture of the
troop. Such mad warfare fired my tilting propensities to
equal fury. The affray became serious. Donna Helena
and her maid were disturbed by the clash of swords. They
looked out at their lattice, and saw two men engaged.
Their cries roused Don George and his servants. The
whole neighbourhood was assembled to part the combatants.
JBut they came too late : on the field of battle, bathed in his
own blood and almost lifeless, lay my unfortunate body.
They carried me to my aunt's, and sent for the best surgical
assistance in the place.

All the world was merciful, and wished me well, especially
Donna Helena, whose heart was now unmasked. Her
forced severity yielded to her natural feelings. Would you
believe it? The cold, relentless, insensible, was kindled
into the warmest of love's votaries. She wore out the
remainder of the night in weeping with her faithful confi-
dante, and giving her cousin, Don Austin de Olighera, to
perdition: for him they taxed with the plotted massacre,
and the bill was a true one. He could hide his heart as well
as his cousin; he therefore watched my motions, without
seeming to suspect them; and fancying them not to be
without a corresponding impulse, he resolved not to be
sacrificed with impunity. The accident was an awkward
one to me, but it ended in overpowering rapture. Dangerous
as my wound was, the surgeons soon brought me about. I
was still confined to my chamber, when my aunt, Donna
Eleonora, went over to Don George, and made proposals for
Donna Helena. He consented the more readily to the
marriage, as he never expected to see Don Austin again.
The good old man was afraid of his daughter's not liking me,
because cousin Olighera had kept her company; but she was
so tractable to the parental behest, as to furnish grounds
for believing that in Spain, as in other countries, the species,
not the individual, is the object with the sex.

Fehcia, at our first private meeting, communicated the

176 History of Gil Bias

emotions of her mistress on my misfortune. Now, like
another Paris, I thought Troy well lost for my Helen, and
blessed the happy consequences of my wound. Don George
allowed me to speak with his daughter in presence of her
attendant. What a heavenly interview! I begged and
prayed the lady so earnestly to tell me whether her suffer-
ance of my vows was forced upon her by her father, that
she at length confessed her obedience to be in unison with
her inchnations. After so delicious a declaration, my
whole soul was given up to love and pleasurable gratifica-
tions. Our nuptials were to be graced by a magnificent
procession of all the principal people in Coria and the neigh-
bourhood.

I gave a splendid party at my aunt's country-house, in
the suburbs on the side of Manroi. Don George, his daugh-
ter, the family, and friends on both sides were present.
There was a concert of vocal and instrumental music, with
a company of strolling players, to represent a comedy. In
the middle of the festivities, some one whispered me that
a man wanted to speak with me in the hall. I got up from
table to go and see who it was. The stranger looked like a
gentleman's servant. He put a letter into my hand, con-
taining these words: " If you have any sense of honour, as a
knight of your order ought to have, you will not fail to
attend to-morrow morning in the plain of Manroi. There
you will find an antagonist, ready to give you your revenge
for his former attack upon your person, or, what he rather
hopes and meditates, to spoil your connubial transports
with Donna Helena.

" Don Austin de Olighera."

If love is a Spanish passion, revenge is the Spanish lunacy.
Such a note as this was not to be read with composure. At
the mere subscription of Don Austin, there kindled in my
veins a fire, which almost made me forget the claims of
hospitality. I was tem^pted to steal away from my com-
pany, and seek my antagonist on the instant. For fear of
disturbing the merriment, however, I bridled in my rage,
and said to the messenger: My friend, you may tell your
employer that I shall meet him on the appointed spot at
sun-rise, and resume the contest with obstinacy equal to
his own.

After sending this answer, I resumed my seat at table

History of Don Gaston de Cogollos 1 77

with so composed a mien, that no creature had the least
suspicion of what had occurred. During the rest of the day
I gave myself up to the pleasures of the festival, which
ended not till midnight. The guests;then returned to town,
but I staid behind, under pretext of taking the air on the
following morning. Instead of going to bed, I watched for
the dawn with maddening impatience. With the first ray
I got on horseback, and rode alone towards Manroi. On the
plain was a horseman, riding up to me at full speed. I
pushed forward, and we met half-way. It was my rival.
Knight, said he, superciliously, it is against my will that I
meet you a second time on the same occasion, but you have
brought your fate on yourself. After the adventure of the
serenade, you ought to have waived your pretensions to
Don George's daughter, or at least to have been assured
that the support of them must cost you dearer than a single
encounter. You are too much elated, answered I, with an
advantage which is less owing, perhaps, to your superior
skiU, than to the darkness of the night. Remember, that
victory is of the same blind family with fortune. It shall
be my lot to teach you, repHed he with insulting scorn, that
I have unsealed the eyes of both.

At this proud 'defiance, we both dismounted, tied our
horses to a tree, and engaged with equal fury. I must can-
didly acknowledge the prowess of my antagonist, who was a
consummate master of fencing. My Ufe was exposed to the
greatest possible danger. Nevertheless, as the strong is
often vanquished by the weak, my rival, in spite of all his
science, received a thrust through the heart, and fell a Ufeless
corpse.

I immediately returned, and told a confidential servant
what had happened, requesting him to take horse and ac-
quaint my aunt, before the ofi&cers of justice could get
intelligence of the event. He was also to obtain from her
a supply of money and jewels, and then join me at the first
inn as you enter Plazencia.

All this was performed within three hours. Donna
Eleonora rather triumphed than mourned over a catastrophe,
which restored my injured honour; and sent me large
remittances for my travels abroad, till the affair had blown
over.

Not to dwell on indifferent circumstances, suffice it to say.

1 78 History of Gil Bias

that I embarked for Italy, and equipped myself so as to
make a respectable figure at the several courts.

While I was endeavouring to beguile the weary hours oi
absence, Helena was weeping at home from the same cause.
Instead of joining in the family resentment, her heart was
panting for a compromise, and for my speedy return. Six
months had already elapsed, and I firmly beheve that her
constancy would have been proof against the track of time,
had time been seconded by no more powerful ally. Don
Bias de Combados, a gentleman from the western coast of
Galicia, came to Coria, to take possession of a rich inheri-
tance unsuccessfully contested by a near relation. He
liked that country so much better than his own, that he
made it his principal residence. Combados was a persona-
ble man. His manners were gentle and well-bred, his con-
versation most insinuating. With such a passport, he soon
got into the best company, and knew all the family concerns
of the place.

It was not long before he heard of Don George's daughter,
and of her extraordinary beauty. This touched his curiosi-
ty nearly ; he was eager to behold so formidable a lady. For
this purpose, he endeavoured to worm himself into the good
graces of her father, and succeeded so well, that the old
gentleman, already looking on him as a son-in-law, gave him
free admission to the house, and the liberty of conversing
with Donna Helena in his presence. The Galician soon
became deeply enamoured of her: indeed, it was the
common fate of all who had ever beheld her charms. He
opened his heart to Don George, who consented to his
paying his addresses, but told him that so far from offering
violence to her inclination, he should never interfere in her
choice. Hereupon Don Bias pressed every device that
impassioned ingenuity could suggest into his service, to
melt and warm the icicles of reserve ; but the lady was im-
penetrable to his arts, fast bound in the fetters of an earlier
love. Felicia, however, was in the new suitor's interest,
convinced of his merit by the universal argument. All
the faculties of her soul were called forth in his cause. On
the other hand, the father urged his wishes and entreaties.
Thus was Donna Helena tormented for a whole year with
their importunities, and yet her faith continued unshaken.

Combados finding that Don George and Felicia took up

History of Don Gaston de Cogollos 179

his cause with very little success, proposed an expedient for
conquering prejudice to the following effect. We will sup-
pose a merchant of Coria to have received a letter from his
Italian correspondent, in which, among the news of the day,
there shall be the following paragraph: '* A Spanish gentle-
man, Don Gaston de Cogollos, has lately arrived at the
court of Parma. He is said to be nephew and sole heir to
a rich widow of Coria. He is paying his addresses to a noble-
man's daughter; but the family wishes to ascertain the
vahdity of his pretensions. Send me word, therefore,
whether you know this Don Gaston, together with the
amount of his aunt's fortune. On your answer the marriage
will depend. Parma, . . . .day of, &c."

The old gentleman considered this trick as a mere ebulli-
tion of humour, a lawful stratagem of amorous warfare ; and
the jade of a go-between, with conscience still more callous
than her master's, was delighted with the probabihty oi
the manoeuvre. It seemed to be so much the more happily
imagined, as they knew Helena to be a proud girl, capable
of taking decisive measures, in the moment of surprise and
indignation. Don George undertook to be the herald of my
fickleness, and by way of colouring the contrivance more
naturally, to cofofront the pretended correspondent with
her This project was executed as soon as formed. The
father, with counterfeit emotions of displeasure, said to
Donna Helena : Daughter, it is not enough now to tell you
that our relations inveigh against an alliance with Don
Austin's murderer; a still stronger reason henceforward
presses, to detach you from Don Gaston. It may well
overwhelm you with shame, to have been his dupe so long.
Here is an undeniable proof of his inconstancy. Only read
this letter just received by a merchant of Coria from Italy.
The trembhng Helena caught at this forged paper; glanced
over the writing; then weighed every expression, and stood
aghast at the import of the whole. A keen pang of dis-
appointment wrung from her a few reluctant tears; but
pride came to her assistance; she wiped away the falling
drops of weakness, and said to her father in a determined
tone: Sir, you have just been witness of my folly; now bear
testimony to my triumph over myself. The delusion is
past ; Don Gaston is the object of my utter contempt. I am
ready to meet Don Bias at the altar, and be beforehand with

1 80 History of Gil Bias

the traitor in the pledge of our transferred affections. Don
George, transported with joy at this change, embraced his
daughter, extolled her spirit to the skies, and hastened the
necessary preparations, with all the self-complacency of a
successful plotter.

Thus was Donna Helena snatched from me. She threw
herself into the arms of Combados in a pet, not listening to
the secret whispers of love within her breast, nor suspecting
a story which ought to have seemed so improbable in the
annals of true passion. The haughty are always the
victims of their own rash conclusions. Resentment of
insulted beauty triumphed wholly over the suggestions of
tenderness. And yet, a few days after marriage, there
came over her some feelings of remorse for her precipitation ;
it struck her that the letter might have been a forgery ; and
the very possibility disturbed her peace. But the enamour-
ed Don Bias left his wife no time to nurse up thoughts
injurious to their new-found joys; a succession of gaiety
and pleasure kept her in a thoughtless whirl, and shielded
her from the pangs of unavailing repentance.

She appeared to be in high good humour with so spirit-
stirring a husband; so that they were living together in
perfect unanimity, when my aunt adjusted my affair with
Don Austin's relations. Of this she wrote me word to
Italy. I returned on the wings of love. Donna Eleonora,
not having announced the marriage, informed me of it on
my arrival ; and remarking what pain it gave me, said : You
are in the wrong, nephew, to shew so much feeling for a
faithless fair. Banish from your memory a person so un-
worthy to share in its tender recollections.

As my aunt did not know how Donna Helena had been
played upon, she had reason to talk as she did: nor
could she have given me better advice. To affect indiffer-
ence, if not to conquer my passion, was my bounden duty.
Yet there could be no harm in just inquiring by what means
this union had been brought to bear. To get at the truth, I
determined on applying to Felicia's friend Theodora. There
I met with Felicia herself, who was confounded at my
unwelcome presence, and would have escaped from the
necessity of explanation. But I stopped her. Why do
you avoid me? said I. Has your perjured mistress for-
bidden you to give ear to my complaints? or would you

History of Don Gaston de Cogollos i 8 1

make a merit with the ungrateful woman, of your voluntary
refusal.

Sir, answered the plotting abigail, I confess my fault, and
throw myself on your mercy. Your appearance here has
filled me with remorse. My mistress has been betrayed,
and unhappily in part by my agency. The particulars of
their infernal device followed this avowal, with an endeavour
to make me amends for its lamentable consequence. To
this effect, she offered me her services with her mistress,
and promised to undeceive her; in a word, to work night
and day, that she might soften the rigour of my sufferings,
and open the career of hope.

I pass over the numberless contradictions she experi-
enced, before she could accomphsh the projected interview.
It was at length arranged to admit me privately, while
Don Bias was at his hunting-seat. The plot did not linger.
The husband went into the country, and they sent for me
to his lady's apartment.

My onset was reproachful in the extreme, but my mouth
was soon shut upon the subject. It is useless to look back
upon the past, said the lady. It can be no part of our
present intention to work upon each other's feelings; and
you are grievousfy mistaken, if you fancy me inclined to
flatter your aspiring hopes. My sole inducement for
receiving you here was to teU you personally, that you
have only henceforth to forget me. Perhaps I might have
been better satisfied with my lot, had it been united with
yours; but since heaven has ordered it otherwise, we must
submit to its decrees.

What ! madam, answered I, is it not enough to have lost
you, to see my successful rival in quiet possession of all my
soul holds dear, but I must also banish you from my
thoughts ? You would tear from me even my passion, my
only remaining blessing ! And think you that a man, whom
you have once enchanted, can recover his self-possession ?
Know yourself better, and cease to enforce impracticable
behests. WeU then! if so, rejoined she with hurried im-
portunity, do you cease to flatter yourself with interesting
my gratitude or my pity. In one short word, the wife of
Don Bias shall never be the mistress of Don Gaston. Let us
at once end a conversation at which delicacy revolts in spite
of virtue, and peremptorily forbids its longer continuance.

1 82 History of Gil Bias

I now threw myself at the lady's feet in despair. All the
powers of language and of tears were called forth to soften
her. But even this served only to excite some inbred senti-
ments of compassion, stifled as soon as born, and sacrificed
at the shrine of duty. After having fruitlessly exhausted
all my stores of tender persuasion, rage took possession of
my breast. I drew my sword, and would have fallen on
its point before the inexorable Helena, but she saw my
design and prevented it. Stay your rash hand, Cogollos,
said she. Is it thus that you consult my reputation ? In
djdng thus and here, you wiU brand me with dishonour, and
my husband with the imputation of murder.

In the agony of my despair, far from yielding to these
suggestions, I only struggled against the preventive efforts
of the two women, and should have struggled too success-
fully, if Don Bias had not appeared to second them. He
had been apprized of our assignation; and instead of going
into the country, had concealed himself behind the hang-
ings, to overhear our conference. Don Gaston, cried he,
as he arrested my uphfted arm, recall your scattered
senses, and no longer give a loose to these mad transports.

Here I could hold no longer. Is it for you, said I, to turn
me from my resolution ? You ought rather yourself to
plunge a dagger in my bosom. My love, with aU its train
of miseries, is an insult to you. Have you not surprised me
in your wife's apartment at this unseasonable hour ? what
greater provocation can you want for your revenge ? Stab
me, and rid yourself of a man, who can only give up the
adoration of Donna Helena with his life. It is in vain,
answered Don Bias, that you endeavour to interest my
honour in your destruction. You are sufficiently punished
for your rashness ; and my wife's imprudence, in giving you
this opportunity of indulging :' t, is sanctified by the purity
of her sentiments. Take my advice, Cogollos: shrink not
effeminately from your wa5Avard destiny, but bear up
against it with the patient courage of a hero.

The prudent Galician, by such language, gradually com-
posed the ferment of my mind, and waked me once more to
virtue. I withdrew in the determination of removing far
from the scene of my folly, and went for Madrid, two days
afterwards. There, pursuing the career of fortune and
preferment, I appeared at court, and laid myself out for

Scipio brings News to Gil Bias 183

connections. But it was my ill luck to attach myself par-
ticularly to the Marquis of Villareal, a Portuguese grandee,
who, lying under a suspicion of intending to emancipate
his country from the Spanish yoke, is now in the castle of
Meant. As the Duke of Lerma knew me to be closely
connected with this nobleman, he gave orders for my
arrest and detention here. That minister thought me
capable of engaging in such a project — he could not have
offered a more outrageous affront to a man of noble birth
and a Castilian.

Don Gaston thus ended his story. By way of consolation
I said to him. Illustrious sir, your honour can receive no
taint from this temporary detainer, and your interest will
probably be promoted by it in the end. When the Duke
of Lerma shall be convinced of your innocence, he will not
fail to give you a considerable post, and thus retrieve the
character of a gentleman unjustly accused of treason.

CHAPTER VII

SCIPIO FINDS Git BLAS OUT IN THE TOWER OF SEGOVIA, AND
BRINGS HIM A BUDGET OF NEWS

Our conversation was interrupted by Tordesillas, who
came into the room, and addressed me thus : Signor Gil Bias,
I have just been speaking with a young man at the prison
gate. He inquired if you were not here, and looked much
mortified at my refusal to satisfy his curiosity. Noble
governor, said he, with tears in his eyes, do not reject my
most humble petition. I am Signor de Santillane's princi-
pal domestic, and you will do an act of charity by allowing
me to see him. You pass for a kind-hearted gentleman in
Segovia; I hope you will not deny me the favour of con-
versing for a few minutes with my dear master, who is un-
fortunate rather than criminal. In short, continued Don
Andrew, the lad was so importunate, that I promised to
comply with his wishes this evening.

I assured Tordesillas that he could not have pleased me
better than by bringing this young man to me, who could
probably communicate tidings of the last importance. I
waited with impatience for the entrance of my faithful

1 84 History of Gil Bias

Scipio ; since I could not doubt him to be the man, nor was
I mistaken in my conjecture. He was introduced at the
time appointed; and his joy, which only mine could equal,
broke forth into the most whimsical demonstrations. On
my side, in the ecstasy of dehght, I stretched out my arms
to him, and he rushed into them with no courtly measured
embrace. All distinctions of master and dependent were
levelled in the sympathetic rapture of our meeting.

When our transports had subsided a little, I inquired into
the state of my household. You have neither household
nor house, answered he : to spare you a long string of ques-
tions, I will sum up your worldly concerns in two words.
Your property has been pillaged at both ends, both by the
banditti of the law and by your own retainers, who, re-
garding you as a ruined man, paid themselves their own
wages out of whatever they found that was portable.
Luckily for you, I had the dexterity to save from their
harpy clutches two large bags of double pistoles. Salero,
in whose custody I deposited them, will make restitution on
your release, which cannot be far distant, as you were put
upon his majesty's pension list of prisoners without the
Duke of Lerma's knowledge or consent.

I asked Scipio how he knew his excellency to have had no
share in my arrest. You may depend on it, answered he,
my information is undeniable. One of my friends in the
Duke of Uzeda's confidence acquainted me with all the
circumstances of your imprisonment. Calderona, having
discovered by a spy that Signora Sirena, with the handle of
an ahas to her name, was receiving night visits from the
Prince of Spain, and that the Count de Lemos managed
that intrigue by the panderism of Signor de Santillane,
determined to be revenged on the whole knot. To this end
he waited on the Duke of Uzeda, and discovered the whole
affair. The duke, overjoyed at such a fine opportunity of
ruining his enemy, did not fail to bestir himself. He laid his
information before the king, and painted the prince's
danger in the most lively colours. His majesty was much
angered, and shewed that he was so, by sending Sirena to
the nunnery provided for such frail sisters, banishing the
Count de Lemos, and condemning Gil Bias to perpetual
imprisonment.

This, pursued Scipio, is what my friend told me. Hence,

Scipio brings News to Gil Bias 185

you gather yo\ir misfortune to be the Duke of Uzeda's
handiwork, or rather Calderona's.

Thus it seemed probable that my affairs might be rein-
stated in time; that the Duke of Lenna, chagrined at his
nephew's banishment, would move heaven and earth for
that nobleman's recall; and it might not be too much to
expect that his excellency would not forget me. What a
delicate gipsy is hope ! She wheedled me out of all anxiety
about my shattered fortunes, and made me as Hght-
hearted as if I had good reason to be so. My prison looked
not Uke the dungeon of perpetual misery, but like the vesti-
bule to a more distinguished station. For thus ran the
train of my reasoning: Don Fernando Borgia, Father
Jerome of Florence, and more than all, Friar Louis of
Aliaga, who may thank him for his place about the king's
person, are the prime minister's partisans. With the aid
of such powerful friends, his excellency will bear down all
opposition, even supposing no change to take place
in the poUtical barometer. But his majesty's health is very
precarious. The first act of a new reign would be to recall
the Count de Lemos; he would not feel himself at home in
the young monarch's presence till he had introduced me at
court; and the young monarch would not sit easy on his
throne till he had showered benefits on my head. Thus,
feasting by anticipation on the pleasures of futurity, I
became callous to existing evils. The two bags, snug in the
goldsmith's custody, were no bad doubles to the part which
hope acted in this shifting pantomime.

It was impossible not to express my gratitude to Scipio
for his zeal and honesty. I offered him half the salvage,
but he rejected it. I expect, said he, a very different
acknowledgment. Astonished as much at his mysterious
claim as at his refusal, I asked what more I could do for
him. Let us never part, answered he. Allow me to link
my fate with yours. I feel for you what I never felt for any
other master. And on my part, my good fellow, said I, you
may rest assured that your attachment is not thrown away.
You caught my fancy at first sight. We must have been
bom under Libra or Gemini, where friendship is lord of the
ascendant. I wiUingly accept your proffered partnership,
and will commence business by prevailing with the warden
to immure you along with me in this tower. That is the

1 86 History of Gil Bias

very thing, exclaimed he. You were beforehand with me,
for I was just going to beg that favour. Your company is
dearer to me than Hberty itself. I shall only just go to
Madrid now and then, to snuff the gale of the ministerial
atmosphere, and try whether any scent lies which may be
favourable for your pursuit. Thus will you combine in me
a bosom friend, a trusty messenger, and an unsuspected

These advantages were too important for me to forego
them. I therefore kept so useful a person about me, with
leave of the obliging warden, who would not stand in the
way of so soothing a reUef to the weariness of solitude.

CHAPTER VIII

SCIPIO'S FIRST JOURNEY TO MADRID: ITS OBJECT AND
SUCCESS. GIL BLAS FALLS SICK. THE CONSEQUENCE
OF HIS ILLNESS

If it is a common proverb that our direst enemies are
those of our own household, the converse ought equally to
be admitted among the saws of a more candid experience.
After such incontestable proofs of Scipio's zeal, he became
to me like another self. AU distinction of place was con-
founded between Gil Bias and his secretary; aU insolence
was dropped on the one hand, all cringing on the other.
Their lodging, bed, and board were in common.

Scipio's conversation was of a very lively turn; he might
have been dubbed the Spanish Momus, without any dero-
gation to the Punch of the Pantheon. But he had a long
head, as well as a fanciful brain, combining the characters
of counsellor and jester. My friend, said I, one day, what
do you think of writing to the Duke of Lerma ? It could,
me thinks, do no harm. Why, as to that, answered he, the
great are such cameleons, that there is no knowing where to
have them. At all events you may risk it ; though I would
not lay the postage of your letter on its success. The
minister loves you, it is true; but then political love lacks
memory, as much as personal love lacks visual discrimina-
tion. Out of sight, out of mind ! is at once the motto and
the stigma of these gentry.

^^

Gil Bias falls Sick 187

True as this may be in the general, replied I, my patron is
a glorious exception. His kindness lives in my recoUec-
tion. I am persuaded that he suffers for my sufferings, and
that they are incessantly preying on his spirits. We must
give him credit for only waiting till the king's anger shall
pass away. Be it so, resumed he; I wish you may not
reckon without your host. Assail his excellency then with
an epistle to stir the waters. I will engage to deliver it into
his own hands. Pen, ink, and paper being brought, I com-
posed a specimen of eloquence which Scipio declared to be
a paragon of pathos, and Tordesillas preferred, for the cant
of sermonizing prolixity, to the old archbishop's homilies.

I flattered myself that there would be tears in the Duke
of Lerma's eyes, and distraction in his aspect, at the detail
of miseries which existed only on paper. In that assurance,
I despatched my messenger, who no sooner got to Madrid,
than he went to the minister's. Meeting with an old
domestic of my acquaintance, he had no difficulty in gaining
access to the duke. My lord, said Scipio to his excellency,
as he dehvered the packet, one of your most devoted
servants, lying at his length on straw, in a damp and dreary
dungeon at Segovja, most humbly supphcates for the peru-
sal of this letter, which a tender-hearted turnkey has fur-
nished him with the means of writing. The minister opened
the letter, and glanced over the contents. But though he
found there a motive and a cue for passion, enough to
amaze all his faculties at once, far from drowning the floor
with briny secretions, he cleaved the ear of his household,
and smote the heart of my courier with horrid speech:
Friend, tell Santillane that he has a great deal of impudence
to address me, after so rank an offence, worthily confronted
by the severe sentence of the king. Under that sentence
let the wretch drag out his days, nor look to my mediation
for a respite.

Scipio, though neither dull nor muddy-mettled, began to
be unpregnant of this defeated cause. Yet he was not so
pigeon-hvered as to retire without an effort in my favour.
My lord, rephed he, this poor prisoner will give up the
ghost with grief, at the recital of your excellency's dis-
pleasure. The duke answered hke a prime minister, with a
supercilious corrugation of features, and a decisive revolu-
tion of his front to some more prosperous suitor. This he

1 88 History of Gil Bias

did, to cover his own share in the shame of pimping; and
such treatment must all those hireling scavengers expect,
who rake in the filth and ordure of rotten statesmen,
courtiers, and politicians.

My secretary came back to Segovia and dehvered the
result of his mission. And now behold me, sunk deeper
than on the first day of my imprisonment, in the gulf of
affliction and despair ! The Duke of Lerma's turning king's
evidence gave a hanging posture to my affairs. My courage
was run out ; and though they did all they could to keep up
my spirits, the agitation and distress of my mind threw me
into a fever.

The warden, who took a lively interest in my recovery,
fancying in his unmedical head that physicians cured
fevers, brought me a double dose of death in two of that
doleful deity's most practised executioners. Signor Gil
Bias, said he, as he ushered in their grisly forms, here are
two godsons of Hippocrates, who are come to feel your
pulse, and to augment the number of their trophies in your
person. I was so prejudiced against the whole faculty,
that I should certainly have given them a very discouraging
reception, had life retained its usual charms in my estima-
tion; but being bent on my departure from this vale of
tears, I felt obliged to Tordesillas for hastening my journey,
by a safer conveyance than the crime of suicide.

My good sir, said one of the pair, your recovery will,
under Providence, depend on your entire confidence in our
skill. ImpHcit confidence ! answered I : with your assistance,
I am fully persuaded that a few days will place me beyond
the reach of fever, and all the shocks that flesh is heir to.
Yes! with the blessing of Heaven, rejoined he, it is a con-
summation devoutly to be wished, and easily to be effected.
At all events, our best endeavours shall not be wanting.
And indeed it was no joke: for they got me into such fine
training for the other world, that few of my material parti-
cles were left in this. Already had Don Andrew, observing
me fumble with the sheets, and smile upon my fingers' ends,
and thinking there was but one way, sent for a Franciscan
to shew it me : already had the good father, having mumbled
over the salvation of my soul, retired to the refection of his
own body: and my own opinion leaned to the immediate
necessity of making a good end. I beckoned Scipio to my

Gil Bias falls Sick 189

bedside. My dear friend, said I, in the faint accents of a
tortured and evacuated patient. I give and bequeath to
you one of the bags in Gabriel's possession; the other you
must carry to my father and mother in the Asturias, who,
if still living, must be in narrow circumstances. But, alas !
I fear, they have not been able to bear up against my in-
gratitude. Muscada's report of my unnatural behaviour
must have brought their grey hairs with sorrow to the grave.
Should Heaven have fortified their tender hearts against my
indifference, you will give them the bag of doubloons, with
assurances of my dying remorse : and, if they are no more,
I charge you to lay out the money in masses for the repose
of their souls and of mine. Then did I stretch out my hand,
which he bathed in silent tears. It is not always true, that
the mourning of an heir is mirth in masquerade.

For some hours I fancied myself outward-bound, and on
the point of sailing; but the wind changed. My pilots
having quitted the helm, and left the vessel to the steerage
of nature, the danger of shipwreck disappeared. The fever,
mutinying against its commanding officers, gave all their
prognostics the lie, and acted contrary to genersd orders. I
got better by degrees, in mind as well as in body. My
consolation was all derived from within. I looked at wealth
and honours with the eye of a dying anchorite, and blessed
the malady which restored my soul. I abjured courts,
politics, and the Duke of Lerma. If ever my prison doors
were opened, it was my fixed resolve to buy a cottage, and
live like a philosopher.

My bosom friend applauded my design, and to further its
execution, undertook a second journey to solicit my release,
by the intervention of a clever girl about the person of the
prince's nurse. He contended that a prison was a prison
still, in spite of kind indulgence and good cheer. In this I
agreed, and gave him Jeave to depart, with a fervent prayer
to Heaven that we might soon take possession of our her-
mitage.

1 90 History of Gil Bias

CHAPTER IX

SCIPIO'S SECOND JOURNEY TO MADRID. GIL BLAS IS SET AT
LIBERTY ON CERTAIN CONDITIONS. THEIR DEPARTURE
FROM THE TOWER OF SEGOVIA, AND CONVERSATION ON
THEIR JOURNEY

While waiting for Scipio's return from Madrid, I began
a course of study. Tordesillas furnished me with more
books than I wanted. He borrowed them from an old
officer who could not read, but had fitted up a magnificent
hbrary, that he might pass for a man of learning. Above
all, I dehghted in moral essays and treatises, because they
abounded in common-places according with my antipathy
to courts and philosophic relish of soHtude.

Three weeks elapsed before I heard a syllable from my
negotiator, who returned at length with a cheerful counten-
ance, and news to the following effect: By the intercession
of a hundred pistoles with the chambermaid, and her inter-
cession with her mistress, the Prince of Spain has been pre-
vailed with to plead for your enlargement with his royal
father. I hastened hither to announce these happy
tidings, and must return immediately to put the last hand
to my work. With these words, he left me, and went back
to court.

At the week's end my expeditious agent returned, with
the intelligence that the prince had procured my liberty,
not without some difficulty. On the same day my generous
keeper confirmed the assurance in person, with the kindest
congratulations, and the following notice: Your prison
doors are open, but on two conditions, which I am sorry
that my duty obliges me to announce, because they will
probably be disagreeable to you. His majesty expressly
forbids you to shew your face at court, or to be found
within the limits of the two Castiles on this day month. I
am extremely sorry that you are interdicted from court.
And I am dehghted at it, answered I. Witness all the
powers above ! I asked the king for only one favour; he has
granted me two.

With my liberty thus confirmed, I hired a couple of mules,
on which we mounted the next day, after taking leave of

Gil Bias is set at Liberty 191

Cogollos, and thanking Tordesillas a thousand times for all
his instances of friendship. We set forward cheerfully on
the road to Madrid, to draw our deposit out of Signor Ga-
briel's hands, amounting to a thousand doubloons. On the
road my fellow-traveller observed : If we are not rich enough
to purchase a splendid property, we can at least secure ease
and competency to ourselves. A cabin, answered I, would
be large enough for my most ambitious thoughts. Though
scarcely at the middle period of Hfe, the world has lost its
charms for me ; its hopes, its fears, its cares, its duties, are
all absorbed in the selfishness of philosophical retirement.
Independently of these principles, I can assure you I have
painted for myself a rural landscape, with a foreground
of innocent pleasures, and pastoral simphcity in the per-
spective. Already does the enamel of the meadows glitter
under my eyes; already does the river's murmur accord with
the winged chorus of the grove: hunting exasperates the
manly virtues, and fishing preaches patience. Only figure
to yourself, my friend, what a continual round of amuse-
ment solitude may furnish, and you will pant to be admitted
of her crew. Then for the economy of our table, the
simplest will be the cheapest, and of course the best. Un-
adulterated Ceres'shaU be oiu: official caterer : when hunger
shall have tamed our fastidious appetites into sobriety, a
mimibled crust wiU relish like an ortolan. The supreme
dehght of eating is not in the thing ate, but in the palate of
him who eats ; a proposition in cuUnary philosophy, proved
by the frequent loathing of my own stomach, through a long
series of ministerial dinners. Abstemiousness is a luxury
of the most exquisite refinement, and the best recipe in the
materia medica.

With your good leave, Signor Gil Bias, interrupted my
secretary, I am not altogether of your mind respecting the
luscious treat of abstemiousness. Why should we mess like
the bankrupt sages of antiquity ? Surely we may indulge
the carnal man a little, without any reasonable offence to
the spiritual. Since we have, by the blessing of Providence
and my forecast, wherewithal to keep the spit and the spigot
in exercise, do not let us take up our abode with famine and
wretchedness. As soon as we get settled, we must stock our
cellar, and establish a respectable larder, like people who
know what is what, and do not separate themselves from the

1 92 History of Gil Bias

vulgar crowd to renounce the good things of this life, but to
taste them with a more exquisite relish. As Hesiod says.

Enjoy thy riches with a hberal soul;
Plenteous the feast, and smiling be the bowl.

And again,

To stint the wine a frugal husband shows.
When from the middle of the cask it flows.

What the devil. Master Scipio, interrupted I in my turn,
you can cap verses out of the Greek poets ! And pray where
did you get acquainted with Hesiod? In very learned
company, answered he. I lived some time with a walking
dictionary at Salamanca, a fellow up to the elbows in
quotation and commentary. He could put a large volume
together Hke a house of cards. His library furnished him
with a hodge-podge of Hebrew, Greek, and Latin common-
places, which he translated into buckram Castilian. As I
was his transcriber, some tags of verses, stings of epigrams,
and sage truisms stuck by the way. With such an appara-
tus, repHed I, your memory must be most philosophically
stocked. But, not to lose sight of our future prospects,
"whereabouts in Spain had we best fix our Socratic abode ?
My voice is for Arragon, resumed my counsellor. We
shall there enjoy all the beauties of nature, and lead the Hfe
of Paradise. Well, then, for Arragon ! said I. May it teem
with all the dear delights that youthful poets fancy when
they dream !

CHAPTER X

THEIR DOINGS AT MADRID. THE RENCOUNTER OF GIL BLAS
IN THE STREET, AND ITS CONSEQUENCES

On our arrival in Madrid, we alighted at a little public-
house where Scipio had been accustomed to put up, whence
our first visit was to my banker, Salero. He received us
very cordially, and expressed the highest satisfaction at my
release. Indeed, added he, your untoward fate touched me
50 nearly as to change my views of a poHtical alliance. The
fortunes of courtiers are like castles in the air: so I have

Gil Bias meets Old Friends 193

mamed my daughter Gabriela to a wealthy trader. You
have acted very wisely, answered I ; for besides that a bird
in the hand is worth two in a bush, when a plodding citizen
aspires to the honour of bringing a man of fashion into his
family, he very often has an impertinent puppy for his son-
in-law.

Then changing the topic, and coming to the point:
Signor Gabriel, pursued I, we came to talk a httle about the
two thousand pistoles which .... Your money is all ready,
said the goldsmith, interrupting me. He then took us into
his closet, and delivered the two bags, carefully labelled
with my name on them.

I thanked Salero for his exactness, and heaven in my
sleeve for my escape from his daughter. At our inn we
counted over the money, and found it right, deducting
fifty doubloons for the expenses of my enlargement. Our
thoughts were now whoUy bent upon Arragon. My
secretary undertook to buy a carriage and two mules. It
was my office to provide household and body linen. During
my peregrinations for that purpose, I met Baron Steinbach,
the officer in the German Guards with whom Don Alphonso
had been brought up.

I touched my hJit to him ; he knew me again, and returned
my greeting warmly. My joy is extreme, said I, at seeing
your lordship in such fine health, to say nothing of my wish
to inquire after Don Caesar and Don Alphonso de Leyva.
They are both in Madrid, answered he, and staying at my
house. They came to town about three months ago, to be
presented on occasion of Don Alphonso's promotion. He
has been appointed Governor of Valencia, on the score of
old family claims, without having in any shape pushed his
interest at court. Nothing could be more grateful to his
feelings, or prove more strongly our royal master's goodness,
who delights to recognize the merits of ancestry in the
persons of their descendants.

Though I knew more of this matter than Steinbach, I
kept my knowledge in the background. Yet so lively was
my impatience to hail my old masters, that he would not
damp my ardour by delay. I had a mind to try Don
Alphonso, whether he still retained his regard for me. He
was playing at chess with Baroness Steinbach. On my
entrance, he started up from his game, ran towards me, and
II H

194 History of Gil Bias

squeezing me tight in his embrace : Santillane, said he, with
demonstrations of the sincerest joy, at length, then, you are
restored to my heart. I am dehghted at it! It was not
my fault that we ever parted. You may remember how
strongly I urged you not to withdraw from the Castle of
Leyva. You were deaf to my entreaties. But I must not
chide your obstinacy, because its motive was the peace of
the family. Yet you ought to have let me hear from you,
and to have spared my fruitless inquiries at Grenada, where
my brother-in-law, Don Ferdinand, sent me word that you
were.

And now tell me what you are doing at Madrid. Of
course you have some situation here. Be assured that I
shall always take a lively interest in your concerns. Sir,
answered I, it is but four months since I occupied a con-
siderable post at court. I had the honour of being the Duke
of Lerma's confidential secretary. Can it be possible ? ex-
claimed Don Alphonso, as if he could scarcely believe his
ears. What, were you so near the person of the prime
minister? I then related how I had gained and lost his
favour, and ended with avowing my determination to buy
a cottage and garden with the wreck of my shattered
fortunes.

The son of Don Csesar heard me attentively, and made
this answer: My dear Gil Bias, you know how I have
always loved you; nor shall you longer be fortune's puppet.
I will set you above her vagaries, by securing you an inde-
pendence. Since you declare for a country life, a little
estate of ours near Lirias, about four leagues from Valencia,
shall be settled on you. You are acquainted with the
spot. Such a present we can make, without putting our-
selves to the least inconvenience. I can answer for my
father's joining in the act, and for Seraphina's entire
approbation.

I threw myself at Don Alphonso's feet, who raised me
immediately. More penetrated by his affection than by
his bounty, I pressed his hand and said, Sir, your conduct
charms me. Your noble gift is the more welcome, as it
precedes the knowledge of a service it has been in my
power to render you; and I had rather owe it to your
generosity, than to your gratitude. This governor of my
making did not know what to understand by the hint, and

Gil Bias meets Old Friends 195

pressed for an explanation. I gave it in full, to his utter
astonishment. Neither he nor Baron Steinbach could ever
have the slightest suspicion that the government of Valencia
was owing to my interest at court. Yet having no reason
to doubt the fact, my friend proposed to grant me an annui-
ty of two thousand ducats, in addition to the little farm at
Lirias.

Hold your hand, Signor Don Alphonso ! exclaimed I at
this offer. You must not set my avarice afloat again. I am
myself a Hving witness, that fortune may give superfluities
to her favourites, but has no competence to bestow. With
pleasure will I accept of the estate at Lirias, where my
present property will be sufficient for all my wants. Rather
than increase my cares with my possessions, I would build
a hospital out of my existing funds. Riches are a burden :
and it must be a fooHsh animal that would bear fardels in
the manger or the field.

While we were talking after this fashion, Don Caesar came
in. His joy was not less than his son's at the sight of me;
and being informed of the family obligations, he again
pressed me to accept of the annuity, which I again refused.
When the writings were drawn, the father and son made the
assignment their joint act and deed, transferring to me the
fee simple, and putting me in immediate possession. My secre-
tary half stared the eyes out of his head, when I told him we
had a landed estate of our own, and how we came by it. What
is the value of this little freehold ? said he. Five hundred
ducats per annum, answered I, and the farm in high cultiva-
tion, within a ring fence. I have often been there during
my stewardship. There is a small house on the banks of
the Guadalaviar, in a httle hamlet, surrounded by a
charming country.

What pleases me better than all, cried Scipio, is that we
shall have plenty of sporting, rare living, and excellent
wine. Come, master, let us leave this crowded city, and
hasten to our hermitage. I long to be there as much as
you can do, answered I ; but I must first go to the Asturias.
My father and mother are not in comfortable circum-
stances. They shall therefore end their days with me at
Lirias. Heaven, perhaps, has thrown this windfall in my
way to try my fihal duty, and would punish me for the
neglect of it. Scipio approved my purpose, and urged its

196 History of Gil Bias

speedy execution. Yes, my friend, said I, we will set out
as soon as possible. I shall consider it as my dear delight to
share the gifts of fortune with the authors of my existence.
We shall soon be settled in our country retreat ; and then will
I write these two Latin verses over the door of my farm-
house, in letters of gold, ior the pious edification of my
rustic neighbours :

Inveni portum. Spes et fortuna, valete.
Sat me lusistis; ludite nunc alios.

BOOK THE TENTH
CHAPTER I

GIL BLAS SETS OUT FOR THE ASTURIAS ; AND PASSES THROUGH
VALLADOLID, WHERE HE GOES TO SEE HIS OLD MASTER,
DOCTOR SANGRADO. BY ACCIDENT, HE COMES ACROSS
SIGNOR MANUEL ORDONNEZ, GOVERNOR OF THE HOS-
PITAL

Just as I was arranging matters to take my departure
from Madrid, and go with Scipio to the Asturias, Paul V.
gave the Duke of Lerma a cardinal's hat. This pope,
wishing to establish the inquisition in the kingdom of
Naples, invested the minister with the purple, and by that
means hoped to bring King Philip over to so pious and
praiseworthy a design. Those who were best acquainted
with this new member of the sacred college, thought much
like myself, that the church was in a fair way for apostolical
purity, after so ghostly an acquisition.

Scipio, who would have liked better to see me once more
blazing at court, than either cloistered or rusticated,
advised me to shew my face at the cardinal's audience.
Perhaps, said he, his eminence, finding you at large by the
king's order, may think it unnecessary to affect any further
displeasure against you, and may even reinstate you in his
service. My good friend Scipio, answered I, you seem to
forget that my liberty was granted only on condition of
making myself scarce in the two Castiles. Besides, can you
suppose me so soon inclined to become an absentee from my

Gil Bias sets out for the Asturias 197

domain of Lirias ? I have told you before, and I tell it you
once again: Though the Duke of Lerma should restore me
to his good graces, though he should even offer me Don
Rodrigo de Calderona's place, I would refuse it. My
resolution is taken: I mean to go and find out my parents at
Oviedo, and carry them with me to Valencia. As for you,
my good fellow, if you repent of having linked your fate
with mine, you have only to say so: I am ready to give you
half of my ready money, and you may stay at Madrid,
where fortune puts on her kindest smiles to those who woo
her lustily.

What then ! replied my secretary, a little affected by these
words, can you suspect me of any unwillingness to follow
you into your retreat ? The very idea is an injury to my
zeal and my attachment. What, Scipio! that faithful
appendage, who would willingly have passed the remnant
of his days with you in the tower of Segovia, rather than
abandon you to your wretched fate, can he feel sorrowful
at the prospect of an abode, where a thousand rural delights
are waiting to smile on his arrival ? No, no, I have not a
wish to turn you aside from your resolution. Nor can I
refrain from owning my malicious drift; when I advised you
to shew your face at the Duke of Lerma's audience, it was
for the purpose of ascertaining whether any seedlings of
ambition were scattered among the fallows of your philo-
sophy. Since that point is settled, and you are mortified to
all the pomps and vanities of the world ; let us make the best
of our way from court, to go and suck in with Zephyrus
and Flora the innocent, dehcious pleasures so luxuriant in
the nursery of our imaginations.

In fact, we soon afterwards took our departure together,
in a chaise drawn by two good mules, driven by a postillion
whom I had added to my establishment. We stopped
the first day at Alcala de Henar^s, and the second at Se-
govia, whence, without stopping to see our generous warden,
Tordesillas, we went forward to Pendfiel on the Duero, and
the next day to Valladolid. At sight of this large town, I
could not help fetching a deep sigh. My companion, sur-
prised at that conscientious ventilation, inquired the reason
of it. My good fellow, said I, it is because I practised
medicine here for a long time. It gives me the horrors,
even now, to think of my unexpiated murders. The whole

198 History of Gil Bias

list of killed and wounded are mustered in battle-array
yonder: the tomb and the hospital yawn with their dis-
gorged inhabitants, who are rushing on to tear me piece-
meal, and exact the vengeance due to the drenched crew.
What a dreadful fancy ! said my secretary. In truth, Signor
de Santillane, your nature is too tender. Why should you
be shocked at the common course of exchange in your
branch of trade? Look at all the oldest physicians:
their withers are unwrung. What can exceed the self-
complacency with which they view the exits of patients,
and the entrances of diseases ? Natural constitution bears
the brunt of all their failures, and medical infallibility takes
the credit of lucky accidents.

It is very true, replied I, that Doctor Sangrado, on whose
practice I formed myself, was like the rest of the old phy-
sicians in point of self-complacency. It was to little pur-
pose that twenty people in a day yielded to his prowess ; he
was so persuaded that bleeding in the arm and copious
libations of warm water were specifics for every case, that
instead of doubting whether the death of his patients might
not possibly invaHdate the efficacy of his prescriptions, he
ascribed the result to a vacillating compHance with his
system. By all the powers! cried Scipio with a burst of
laughter, you open to me an incomparable character. If
you have any curiosity to be better acquainted with him,
said I, it may be gratified to-morrow, should Sangrado be
stiU Hving, and resident at ValladoHd: but it is highly im-
probable ; for he had one foot in the grave when I left him
several years ago.

Our first care, on putting up at the inn, was to inquire
after this doctor. We were told that he was not dead ; but
being incapacitated by age from paying visits or any other
vigorous exertions, he had been superseded by three or four
other doctors who had risen into repute by a new practice,
accomplishing the same end by different means. We de-
termined on lying by for a day at Valladolid, as well to rest
our mules, as to caU on Signor Sangrado. About ten
o'clock next morning we knocked at his door; and found
him sitting in his elbow-chair, with a book in his hand. He
rose on our entrance ; advanced to meet us with a firm step
for a man of seventy, and begged to know our business. My
worthy and approved good master, said I, have you lost all

1

Gil Bias sets out for the Asturias 199

recollection of an old pupil ? There was formerly one Gil
Bias, as you may remember, a boarder in your house, and
for some time your deputy. What ! is it you, Santillane ?
answered he, with a cordial embrace. I should not have
known you again. It, however, gives me great pleasure to
see you once more. What have you been doing since we
parted ? Doubtless you have made medicine your pro-
fession. It was very strongly my inclination so to do,
replied I ; but imperious circumstances made me reluctantly
abandon so illustrious a calling.

So much the worse, rejoined Sangrado: with the principles
you sucked in under my tuition, you would have become a
physician of the first skill and eminence, with the guiding
influence of heaven to defend you from the dangerous
allurements of chemistry. Ah, my son! pursued he with
a mournful air, what a change in practice within these few
years! The whole honour and dignity of the art is com-
promised. That mystery, by whose inscrutable decrees
the hves of men have in all ages been determined, is now
laid open to the rude, untutored gaze of blockheads, novices,
and mountebanks. Facts are stubborn things; and ere
long the very stpnes will cry aloud against the rascality of
these new practitioners: lapides clamabunt! Why, sir,
there are fellows in this town, calhng themselves physi-
cians, who drag their degraded persons at the currus
triumphalis antimonii, or as it should properly be trans-
lated, the cart's tail of antimony. Apostates from the
faith of Paracelsus, idolaters of filthy kermes, healers at hap-
hazard, who make all the science of medicine to consist in
the preparation and prescription of drugs. What a change
have I to announce to you ! There is not one stone left upon
another in the whole structure which our great predecessors
had raised. Bleeding in the feet, for example, so rarely
practised in better times, is now among the fashionable
foUies of the day. That gentle, civilized system of evacua-
tion which prevailed under my auspices is subverted by the
reign of anarchy and emetics, of quackery and poison. In
short, chaos is come again ! Every one orders what seems
good in his own eyes ; there is no deference to the authority of
ancient wisdom ; our masters are laid upon the shelf, and their
axioms not one tittle the more regarded, for being dehvered
in languages as defunct as the subjects of their apphcation.

200 History of Gil Bias

However desirable it might seem to laugh at so whimsical
a declamation, I had the good manners to resist the im-
pulse; and not only that, but to inveigh bitterly against
kermes, without knowing whether it was a vegetable or an
animal, and to pour forth a commination of curses against
the authors and inventors of so diabolical an engine.
Scipio, observing my by-play in this scene, had a mind to
come in for his share in the banter. Most venerable prop
of the true practice, said he to Sangrado, as I am descended
in the third generation from a physician of the old school,
give me leave to join you in your philippic against chemical
conspiracies. My late illustrious progenitor, heaven forgive
him all his sins! was so warm a partisan of Hippocrates,
that he often came to blows with ignorant pretenders, who
vomited forth blasphemies against that high priest of the
faculty. What is bred in the bone will not come out of
the flesh: I could willingly inflict tortures and death with
my own hands on those rash innovators whose daring
enormities you have characterized with such accuracy of
discrimination and such force of language. When wretches
like these gain an ascendancy in civilized society, can we
wonder at the disjointed condition of the world ?

The times are even more out of joint than you are aware
of, said the doctor. My book against the vanities and delu-
sions of the new practice might as well have fallen still-born
from the press ; it seems, if anything, to have acted by con-
traries, and to have exasperated heresy. The apothe-
caries, like the Titans of old, heaping potion upon pill, and
invading the Ol5mipus of medicine, think themselves fully
qualified to usurp and maintain the throne, now that it is
only thought necessary to set open the doors, and to drive
the enemy out at the portal or the postern by main force.
They go to the length of infusing their deadly drugs into
apozems and cordials, and then set themselves up against
the most eminent of the fraternity. This contagion has
spread its influence even among the cloisters. There are
monks in our convents who unite surgery and pharmacy to
the labours of the confessional. Those medical baboons are
always dipping their paws into chemistry, and inventing
compositions strong enough to lay a scene of ecclesiastical
mortality in the temporary abodes of peace and religion.
Now there are in Valladolid above sixty religious houses for

I

Gil Bias sets out for the Asturias 201

both sexes; judge what ravage must have been made there
by unmerciful pumping and the lancet misapplied. Signer
Sangrado, said I, you are perfectly in the right to give these
poisoners no quarter. I utter groan for groan with you,
and heave the philanthropic sigh over the invaded hves of
our fellow-creatures, sinking under the fell attack of so
heterodox a practice. It fills me with horror to think what
a dead weight chemistry may one day be to medicine, just
as adulterated coin operates on national credit. Far be
that evil day from this generation.

Just at this climax of our discourse, in came an old
female servant, with a salver for the doctor, on which was
a little light roll and a glass with two decanters, the one
filled with water and the other with wine. After he had
eaten a slice, he washed it down with a diluted beverage,
two parts water to one of wine; but this temperate use of
the good creature did not at all save him from the acrimony
of my ridicule. So so, good master doctor, said I, you are
fairly caught in the fact. You are a wine-bibber! you,
who have entered the Usts Hke a knight-errant against that
unauthenticated fermentation? you, who reached your
grand chmacteric on the strength of the pure element?
How long have you been so at odds with yourself ? Your
time of life can be no excuse for the alteration ; since, in one
passage of your writings, you define old age to be a natural
consumption, which withers and attenuates the system ; and
as an inference from that position, you reprobate the ignor-
ance of those writers who dignify wine with the appellation
of old men's milk. What can you say, therefore, in your
own defence?

You belabour me most unjustly, answered the old phy-
sician. If I drank neat wine, you would have a right to
treat me as a deserter from my own standard ; but your eyes
may convince you that my wine is well mixed. Another
heresy, my dear apostle of the wells and fountains ! replied
I. Recollect how you rated the canon Sedillo for drinking
wine, though plentifully dashed with the salubrious fluid.
Own modestly and candidly that your theory was unfounded
and fanciful, and that wine is not a poisonous Hquor, as you
have so falsely and scandalously hbelled it in your works,
any further than, Hke any other of nature's bounties, it
may be abused to excess.

202 History of Gil Bias

This lecture sat rather uneasily on our doctor's feelings,
as a candidate for consistency. He could not deny his
inveteracy against the use of wine in all his publications;
but pride and vanity not allowing him to acknowledge the
justice of my attack on his apostasy, he was left without a
word to say for himself. Not wishing to push my sarcasm
beyond the bounds of good humour, I changed the subject;
and after a few minutes' longer stay, took my leave, gravely
exhorting him to maintain his ground against the new
practitioners. Courage, Signer Sangrado! said I: never
be weary of setting your wits against kermes; and deafen the
health-dispensing tribe with your thunders against the use
of bleeding in the feet. If, spite of all your zeal and affec-
tion for medical orthodoxy, this empiric generation should
succeed in supplanting true and legitimate practice, it will
be at least your consolation to have exhausted your best
endeavours in the support of truth and reason.

As my secretary and myself were walking to the inn,
making our observations in high glee on the doctor's enter-
taining and original character, a man from fifty-five to
sixty years of age happened to pass near us in the street,
walking with his eyes fixed on the ground, and a large rosary
in his hand. I conned over the distinctive cut of his appear-
ance most cunningly, and was rewarded in the recognition
of Signor Manuel Ordonnez, that faithful trustee for the
affairs of the hospital, of whom so honourable mention is made
in the first volume of these true and instructive memoirs.
Accosting him with the most profound and unquestionable
tokens of respect, I paid my comphments in due form and
order to the venerable and trust-worthy Signor Manuel
Ordonnez, the man of all the world in whose hands the
interests of the poor and needy are most safely and bene-
ficially placed. At these words he looked me steadfastly
in the face, and answered that my features were not alto-
gether strange to him, but that he could not recollect
where he had seen me. I used to go backwards and for-
wards to your house, replied I, when one of my friends,
by name Fabricio Nunez, was in your service. Ah ! I recol-
lect the circumstance at once, rejoined the worthy director
with a cunning leer, and have good reason to do so ; for you
were a brace of pleasant lads, and were by no means
backward in the little scape-grace tricks of youth and

I

Gil Bias sets out for the Asturias 203

inexperience. Well ! and what is become of poor Fabricio ?
Whenever he comes across my thoughts, I cannot help
feeling a Httle uneasy about his temporal and eternal
welfare.

It was to relieve your mind upon that subject, said I to
Signor Manuel, that I have taken the Uberty of stopping you
in the street. Fabricio is settled at Madrid, where he employs
himself in publishing miscellanies and collections. What
do you mean by miscellanies and collections ? replied he. I
mean, resumed I, that he writes in verse and prose, from
epic poems and the highest branches of philosophy, down to
plays, novels, epigrams, and riddles. In short, he is a lad of
universal genius, and most exemplary benevolence; some-
times modestly taking to himself the credit of his own com-
positions, and sometimes lending out his talents to the
hterary ambition of those noblemen who write for their
own amusement, but wish their names to be concealed,
except from a chosen circle. By traffic like this he sits at
the very first tables. But how does he sit at his own ? said
the director : upon what terms does he hve with his baker ?
Not quite so confidentially as with people of fashion, answer-
ed I ; for between ourselves, I take him to be quite as much
out at elbows as ever Job was. More bonds and judgments
against him than ever Job had, take my word for it ! replied
Ordonnez. Let him lick the spittle of his titled friends and
patrons tiU his stomach heaves at the nauseating saliva ; his
printed dedications and his oral flattery, in spite of all the
cringing and aU the toad-eating, which constitute the stock-
in-trade of his profession, with all the profits of his works,
whether by subscription or ordinary pubUcation, will not
bring grist enough to his mill, to keep hunger from the door.
Mind if what I say does not turn out to be true ! He will
come to the dogs at last.

Nothing more likely ! replied I ; for he cohabits with the
muses already; and many a plain man has found, to his
cost, that there is no keeping company with the sisters,
without being worried by their bullying brethren. My
friend Fabricio would have done much better by remaining
quietly with your lordship ; he would now have been lying on
a bed of roses, and everything he had touched would have
turned to gold. He would at least have been in a very
snug berth, said Manuel. He was a great favourite of mine ;

204 History of Gil Bias

and I meant, by a regular gradation from subaltern to princi-
pal situations, to have established him in ease and affluence
on the basis of public charity; but the foolish fellow took it
into his head to set up for a wit. He wrote a play, and
brought it out at the theatre in this town : the piece went off
tolerably well, and nothing thenceforth would serve his
turn but commencing author by profession. Lope de Vega,
in his estimation, was but a type of him : preferring, there-
fore, the intoxicating vapour of public applause to the plain
roast and boiled of this substantial ordinary, he came to me
for his discharge. It was to no purpose for me to argue
the point, or to prove to him what a siUy cur he was, to drop
the bone and run after the shadow : the mad blockhead was
so suffocated by the smother of authorship, that the instinc-
tive dread of fire could not rouse his alacrity to escape burn-
ing. In short, he was miserably unconscious of his own
interest, as his successor can testify: for he, possessing
practical good sense, though without half Fabricio's quick-
ness and versatility, makes it his whole study and delight
to go through his business in a worlananlike manner, and to
fall in with all my little ways. In return for such good
conduct, I pushed him forward in a manner corresponding
with his deserts; and he unites in his own person, even at
this time of day, two offices in the hospital, the least lucra-
tive of which would be more than sufficient to place any
honest man at his ease, though encumbered with a yearly
teeming wife.

CHAPTER II

GIL BLAS CONTINUES HIS JOURNEY, AND ARRIVES IN SAFETY
AT OVIEDO. THE CONDITION OF HIS FAMILY. HIS
father's death, and ITS CONSEQUENCES

From Valladolid we got to Oviedo in four days, without
any untoward accident on the road, in spite of the proverb,
which says, that robbers lay their ears to the ground, when
pilgrims are going with rich offerings, and traders are riding
with fat purses. It would have been a feasible, as weU as a
tempting speculation. Two tenants of a subterraneous
abode might have presented an aspect to have frightened
our doubloons into a surrender; for courage was not one of

Death of Gil Bias' Father 205

the qualities I had imbibed at court; and Bertrand, my
mule-driver, seemed not to be of a temper to get his brains
blown out in defending a purse into which he had no free
ingress. Scipio was the only one of the party who was any-
thing of a bully.

It was night when we came into town. Our lodgings
were at an inn near my uncle, Gil Perez, the canon. I was
very desirous of ascertaining the circumstances of my
parents before my first interview with them ; and, in order
to gain that information, it was impossible to make my
inquiries in a better channel than through my landlord and
landlady, into the lines of whose faces you could not look
without being satisfied that they knew every tittle of their
neighbours' concerns. As it turned out, the landlord
kenned me after a diligent perusal of my features, and cried
out : By Saint Antony of Padua ! this is the son of the honest
usher, Bias of Santillane. Ay, indeed ! said the hostess ; and
so it is: without a single muscle altered ! just for all the world
that same httle stripling Gil Bias, of whom we used to say
that he was as saucy as he was high. It brings old times to
my memory ! when he used to come hither with his bottle
under his arm, to fetch wine for his uncle's supper.

Madam, said'I, you have a most inveterate memory; but
for goodness' sake change the subject, and tell me the
modem news of my family. My father and mother are
doubtless in no very enviable situation. In good truth, you
may say that, answered the landlady: you may rack your
brains as long as you like, but you will never tliink of any-
thing half so miserable as what they are suffering at this
present moment. Gil Perez, good soul ! is defunct all down
one side by a stroke of the palsy, and the other half of him
is little better than a corpse ; we cannot expect him to last
long: then your father, who went to live with his reverence
a little while ago, is troubled with an inflammation of the
lungs, and is standing, as a body may say, quavery-mavery
between life and death ; while your mother, who is not over
and above hale and hearty herself, is obliged to nurse them
both.

On this inteUigence, which made me feel some compunc-
tious yearnings of nature, I left Bertrand with my stud and
baggage at the inn : then, with my secretary at my heels,
who would not desert me in my time of need, I repaired to

2o6 History of Gil Bias

my uncle's house. The moment I came within my mother's
reach, a natural emotion of maternal instinct unfolded to
her who I was, before her eyes could possibly have run
over the traces of my countenance. Son, said she, with a
melancholy expression, after having embraced me, come
and be present at your father's death; your visit is just in
time to take in all the piteous circumstances of so deplor-
able an event. With this heart-rending reception, she led
me by the hand into a chamber where the wretched Bias of
Santillane, stretched on a comfortless bed, in cold and
dismal accord with the thinness of his fortunes, was just
entering on the last great act of hirnian nature. Though
surrounded by the shades of death, he was not quite un-
conscious of what was passing about him. My dearest
friend, said my mother, here is your son Gil Bias, who
entreats your forgiveness for all his undutiful behaviour,
and is come to ask your blessing before you die. At
these tidings my father opened his eyes, which were on
the point of closing for ever: he fixed them upon me; and
reading in my countenance, notwithstanding the awful
brink on which he stood, that I was a sincere mourner for
his loss, his feelings were recalled to sympathy by my
sorrow. He even made an attempt to speak, but his
strength was too much exhausted. I took one of his hands
in mine, and while I bathed it with my tears, in speechless
agony of soul, he breathed his last, as if he had only waited
my arrival to pay the debt of nature, and wing his way to
scenes of untried being.

This event had been too long present to my mother's
mind to overwhelm her with any unparalleled affliction.
Perhaps it sat more heavily on me than on her, though
my father had never in his hfe given me any reason to feel
for him as a father. But besides that mere fiHal instinct
would have made me weep over his cold remains, I re-
proached myself with not having contributed to the com-
fort of his latter days; then, when I considered what a
hard-hearted villain I had been, I seemed to myself like a
monster of ingratitude, or rather like an impious parri-
cide. My uncle, whom I afterwards saw lying at his
length on another wretched couch, and in a most lament-
able pickle, made me experience fresh agonies of upbraid-
ing conscience. Unnatural son! said I, communing with

Dea^th of Gil Bias* Father 207

my own uneasy thoughts, behold the chastisement of
heaven upon thy sins, in the disconsolate condition of thy
nearest relations. Hadst thou but thrown to them the
superflux of that abundance, in which before thy imprison-
ment thou rolledst, thou mightest have procured for them
those Httle comforts which thy uncle's ecclesiastical pit-
tance was too scanty to furnish, and perhaps have leng-
thened out the term of thy father's life.

Gil Perez had fallen into a state of second childhood,
and was, though numerically upon the Hst of the living,
in every individual organ a mere corpse. His memory,
nay, his very senses had retired from their allotted stations
in his system. Bootless was it for me to strain him in my
pious arms, and lavish outward tokens of affection on
him: they might as well have been wasted on the desert
air. To as little purpose did my mother ring in his un-
nerved ear, that I was his nephew Gil Bias; he gazed at
me with a vacant, stupid stare, and gave neither sign nor
answer. Had the ties of consanguinity and gratitude been
all too weak, to awaken my tender sympathy for an uncle,
to whom I owed the means of my first launch into the
world, the impression of helpless dotage on my senses
must have softened me into sometliing hke the counterfeit
of virtuous emotion.

While this scene was passing, Scipio preserved a melan-
choly silence, sharing in all my sorrows, and mingling his
sighs with mine in the chastised luxury of friendship.
But concluding that my mother, after so long an absence,
might wish to have some such conversation with me, as
the presence of a stranger must rather repress than pro-
mote, I drew him aside, saying, Go, my good fellow, sit
down quietly at the inn, and leave me here with my only
surviving parent, who might consider your company as an
intrusion, while talking over family affairs. Scipio with-
drew, for fear of being a clog upon our confidence; and I
sat down with my mother to an interchange of communi-
cation, which lasted all night. We reciprocally gave a
faithful account of all that had happened to each of us,
since my first sally from Oviedo. She related, in full
measure and running over, all the petty insults, disap-
pointments, and mortifications, which she had undergone
in her pilgrimage from house to house as a duenna. A

2o8 History of Gil Bias

great number of these little anecdotes it would have hurt
my pride that my secretary should have noted down in his
biographical budget, though I had never concealed from
him the ups and downs in the lottery of my own life. With
all the respect I owe to my mother's sainted memory,
the good lady had not the knack of going the shortest
road to the end of a story; had she but pruned her own
memoirs of all luxuriant circumstances, there would not
have been materials for more than a tithe of her narrative.

At length she got to the end of her tether, and I began
my career. With respect to my general adventures, I
passed them over hghtly ; but when I came to speak of the
visit which the son of Bertrand Muscada, the grocer of
Oviedo, had paid me at Madrid, I enlarged with decent
compunction on that dark article in the history of my life.
I must frankly own, said I to my mother, that I gave that
young fellow a very bad reception; and he, doubtless, in
revenge, must have drawn a hideous outline of my moral
features. He did you more than justice, I trust, answered
she ; for he told us that he found you so puffed and swollen
with the good fortune thrust upon you by the prime
minister, as scarcely to acknowledge him among your
former acquaintance; and when he gave you a moving
description of our miseries, you listened as if you had no
interest in the tale, or knowledge of the parties. But as
fathers and mothers can always find some clue for palliation
in the conduct of their graceless children, we were loth to
beheve that you had so bad a heart. Your arrival at
Oviedo justifies our favourable interpretation, and those
tears which are now flowing down your cheeks, are so
many pledges either of your innocence or your reformation.

Your constructions were too partial, replied I; there
was a great deal of truth in young Muscada's report.
When he came to see me all my faculties were engrossed
by vanity and mammon; ambition, the prevailing devil
which possessed me, left not a thought to throw away on
the desolate condition of my parents. It therefore could
be no wonder, if in such a disposition of mind I gave rather
a freezing reception to a man who, accosting me in a
peremptory style, took upon him to say, without mincing
the matter, that it was well known I was as rich as a Jew,
and therefore he advised me to send you a good round

Death of Gil Bias* Father 209

sum, seeing that you were very much put to your shifts: nay,
he went so far as to reproach me, in phrase of more sin-
cerity than good manners, with my unfeeUng negligence of
my family. His confounded personaUty stuck in my
throat ; so that losing my little stock of patience, I shoved
him fairly by the shoulders out of my closet. It must be
confessed that I took the administration of justice a little
too much into my own hands, being judge and party in the
same cause ; neither was it proper that you should bear the
brunt, because the grocer was a Httle anti-saccharine in
his phraseology; nor was his advice the less pertinent or
just, though couched in homely terms, or urged with
plodding vulgarity.

All this came plimip in the teeth of my conscience, the
moment I had turned Muscada out of doors. The voice
of natural instinct contrived to make its way; my duty
to my parents brought the blood into niy face; but it was
the blush of shame for its neglect, and not the glow of
triumph at its performance. Yet even my remorse can
give me little credit in your eyes, since it was soon stifled
in the fumes of avarice and ambition. But some time
afterwards, Ijaving been safely lodged in the tower of
Segovia by royal mandate, I fell dangerously ill there;
and that timely remembrancer was the cause of bringing
back your son to you. So true is it, that sickness and im-
prisonment were my best moral tutors; for they enabled
nature to resume her rights, and weaned me effectually
from the court. Henceforth all my dear delight is in
soHtude ; and my only business in the Asturias is to entreat
that you would share with me in the mild pleasures of a
retired Hfe. If you reject not my earnest petition, I will
attend you to an estate of mine in the kingdom of Valencia,
and we wiU live there together very comfortably. You
are of course aware that I intended to take my father
thither also; but since heaven has ordained it otherwise,
let me at least have the satisfaction of affording an asylum
to my mother, and making amends by all the attentions
in my power for the fallow seasons in the former harvest of
my filial duty.

I accept your kind intentions in very good part, said
my mother; and would take the journey without hesita-
tion, if I saw no obstacles in the way. But to desert your

2 1 o History of Gil Bias

uncle in his present condition would be unpardonable; and
I am too much accustomed to this part of the country, to
like Hving elsewhere: nevertheless, as the proposal de-
serves to be maturely weighed, I will consider further of it
at my leisure. At present, your father's funeral requires
to be ordered and arranged. As for that, said I, we will
leave it to the care of the young man whom you saw with
me; he is my secretary, with as clever a head and as good
a heart as you have often been acquainted with; let the
business rest with him ; it cannot be in better hands.

Hardly had I pronounced these words, when Scipio
came back; for it was already broad day. He inquired
whether he could be of any service in our present distresses.
I answered that he was come just in time to receive some
very important directions. As soon as he was made
acquainted with the business in hand : A word to the wise !
said he : the whole procession with its appropriate heraldry
is already marshalled in this head of mine; you may trust
me for a very pretty funeral. Have a care, said my mother,
to make it plain and decent without anything like pomp or
parade. It can scarcely be too humble for my husband,
whom all the town knows to have been low in rank, and
indigent in circumstances. Madam, repUed Scipio, though
he had been the meanest and most destitute of the human
race, I would not bate one button in the array of his post-
humous honours. My master's credit is at stake in the
proper conduct of the ceremony; he has been in an osten-
sible situation under the Duke of Lerma, and his father
ought to be buried with all the forms of state and nobility.

I thought exactly as my secretary did upon the subject;
and even went so far as to bid him spare no expense on
the occasion. A little leaven of vanity still fermented in
the mass of my philosophy, and rose in my bosom with
all the effervescence of its original Hghtness. I flattered
myself that by lavishing posthumous honours on a father
who had blessed the day of his decease by no lucrative
bequest, I should instil into the conceptions of the by-
standers a high sense of my generous nature. My mother,
on her part, whatever airs of humility she might put on,
had no dislike to seeing her husband carried out with due
observance of funeral pomp and ceremony. We therefore
left Scipio to do just as he pleased; and he, without a

Death of Gil Bias' Father 2 1 1

moinent's delay, adopted all the necessary measures for
the display of the undertaker's liveliest fancy.

The genius of that artist was called forth but too suc-
cessfully. His emblems, devices, and draperies, were so
ostentatious, as to disgust instead of cajoling the natives:
every individual, whether of the town or the suburbs, whe-
ther high or low, rich or poor, felt shocked and insulted by
this after-thought parade. This ministerial beggar on
horseback, said one, can put his hand into his pocket for
his father's funeral baked meats, but never found in his
heart wherewithal to furnish his living table with common
necessaries. It would have been much more to the pur-
pose, said another, to have made the old gentleman's
latter days comfortable, than to have wasted such thriftless
sums on a post obit act of fihal munificence. In short,
quips of the brain and peltings of the tongue pattered
round our execrated heads. It would have been well had
the storm been only a whirlwind of passion, or hurricane
of words; but we were all, Scipio, Bertrand, and myself,
corporally admonished of our misdeeds, on our coming
out of church; they abused us like pickpockets, made
mouths and odious noises as we passed, and followed
Bertrand at Kis heels to the inn with a copious volley of
stones and mud. To disperse the mob which had collected
before my uncle's house, my mother was obliged to shew
herself at the window, and to declare publicly, that she was
thoroughly satisfied with my proceedings. Another de-
tachment had filed off to the stable-yard where my car-
riage stood, in the fuU determination of breaking it to
pieces; and this they would inevitably have done, if the
landlord and lady had not found some means of quieting
their perturbed spirits, and turning them aside from their
outrageous purpose.

AU these affronts, so revolting to my dignity, the effect
of the tales which the young grocer had been spreading
about town, inspired me with such a thorough hatred for
my native place, that I determined on quitting Oviedo
almost immediately, though but for this bustle I might
have made it my residence for some time. I announced
my intention, with the reasons of it, to my mother, who,
considering my uncouth reception as no very flattering
compliment to herself, did not urge my longer stay among

212 History of Gil Bias

people so little inclined to treat me civilly. The only
point remaining now to be discussed was her future destiny
and provision. My dear mother, said I, since my uncle
stands so much in need of your attendance, I will no longer
urge you to go along with me; but, as his days seem likely
to be very few on earth, you must promise to come and
take up your abode with me at my farm, as soon as the
last duties are performed to his honoured remains.

I shall make no such promise, answered my mother, for I
mean to pass the remnant of my days in the Asturias,
and in a state of perfect independence. Will you not on
all occasions, rephed I, be absolute mistress in my house-
hold ? May be so, and may be not ! rejoined she : you have
only to fall in love with some flirt of a girl, and then you
will marry: then she will be my daughter-in-law, and I
shall be her stepmother; and then we shall live together
as stepmothers and daughters-in-law usually do. Your
prognostics, said I, are fetched from a great distance. I
have not at present the most remote intention of entering
into the happy state : but even though such a whim should
take possession of my brain, I will pledge myself for in-
structing my wife betimes in an impHcit submission to
your will and pleasure. That is giving security, without
the means of making good your contract, replied my
mother : you would scarcely be able to justify bail. I would
not even swear that in our sparring-matches, you might
not take your wife's part in preference to mine, however ill
she might behave, or however unreasonably she might
argue.

You talk very excellent sense, madam, cried my secre-
tary, coming in for his share of the conversation: I think
just as you do, that dociUty is about as much the virtue of
a donkey as of a daughter-in-law. As the matter stands,
that there may be no difference of opinion between
my master and you, since you are absolutely determined
to live asunder, you in the Asturias, and he in the king-
dom of Valencia, he must allow you an annuity of a hun-
dred pistoles, and send me hither every year for the pay-
ment. By thus arranging matters, mother and son will
be very good friends, with an interval of two hundred
leagues between them. The parties concerned fell in at
once with the proposal: I paid the first year in advance,

Gil Bias arrives at Lirias 2 1 3

and stole out of Oviedo the next morning before dawn,
for fear of vying with Saint Stephen in popular favour.
Such were the charms of my return to my native place.
An admirable lesson this for those successful upstarts, who
having gone abroad to make their fortunes, come home
to be the purse-proud tyrants of their birth-place.

CHAPTER III

GIL BLAS SETS OUT FOR VALENCIA, AND ARRIVES AT LIRIAS ;
DESCRIPTION OF HIS SEAT; THE PARTICULARS OF HIS
RECEPTION, AND THE CHARACTERS OF THE INHABITANTS

HE FOUND THERE

We took the road for Leon, afterwards that of Palencia;
and, continuing our journey by short stages, arrived on the
evening of the tenth day at the town of Segorba, whence early
on the morrow we repaired to my seat, at the distance
of very little more than three leagues. In proportion as we
approached nearer, it was amusing to see with what a long-
ing eye my secretary looked at all the estates which lay in
our way, to the right and left of the road. Whenever he
caught a glimpse of any which bespoke the rank and opu-
lence of its owner, he never missed pointing at it with his
finger, and wishing that were the place of our retreat.

I know not, my good friend, said I, what idea you have
formed of our habitation ; but if you have taken it into your
head that ours is a magnificent house, with the domain of a
great landed proprietor, I warn you in time that you are
laying much too flattering an unction to your vanity.

If you have no mind to be the dupe of a warm imagina-
tion, figure to yourself the Uttle ornamented cottage which
Horace fitted up near Tibur in the country of the Sabines,
on a small farm, the fee-simple of which was given him
by Maecenas. Don Alphonso has made me just such
another present, more as a token of affection than for the
value of the thing. Then I must expect to see nothing but
a dirty hovel ! exclaimed Scipio. Bear in mind, replied I,
that I have always given you quite an unvarnished descrip-
tion of my place ; and now, even at this moment, you may
judge for yourself whether I have not stuck to truth and

2 14 History of Gil Bias

nature in my representations. Just carry your eye along
the course of the Guadalaviar, and observe at a little dis-
tance from the further bank, near that hamlet, consisting
of nine or ten tenements, a house with four small turrets;
that is my mansion.

The deuce and all ! stammered out my secretary, short-
breathed with sudden admiration: why, that house is one
of the prettiest things in nature. Besides the castellated
air which those turrets give it, all the beauties of situation
and architecture, fertility of soil, and perfection of land-
scape, combine to rival or excel the immediate neighbour-
hood of Seville, compHmented as it is for its picturesque
attractions by the appellation of an earthly paradise. Had
we chosen the place of our settlement for ourselves, it
could not have been more to my taste: a river meanders
through the grounds, distilling plenty and verdure from its
fertilizing bosom; the leafy honours of an umbrageous
wood invite the mid-day walk, and quaHfy the tempera-
ture of the seasons. What a heavenly abode of solitude
and contemplation! Ah! my dear master, we shall act
very fooHshly if we are in a hurry to run away from our
happiness. I am delighted, answered I, that you are so
well satisfied with the retreat provided for us, though yet
acquainted with only a small part of its attractions.

As we were chatting in this strain, we got nearer and
nearer to the house, where the door opened, as by magic,
the moment Scipio announced Signor Gil Bias de Santillane,
who was coming to take possession of his estate. At the
mention of this name, received with reverential homage
by the people who had been instructed in the transfer of
their obedience, my carriage was admitted into a large
court, where I ahghted; then leaning with all my weight
upon Scipio, as if walking was a derogation from m}^ dig-
nity, and putting on the great man after the most conse-
quential models, I reached the hall, where, on my entrance,
seven or eight servants made their obeisances. They told
me they were come to welcome their new master with their
best loves and duties: that Don Caesar and Don Alphonso
de Leyva had chosen them to form my establishment, one
in quality of cook, another as under-cook, a third as scul-
lion, a fourth as porter, and the rest as footmen; with an
express injunction to receive no wages or perquisites, as

Gil Bias arrives at Lirias 2 1 5

those two noblemen meant to defray all the expenses of my
household. The cook, Master Joachim by name, was com-
mander-in-chief of this battalion, and announced to me
the whole array of the campaign; he declared that he had
laid in a large stock of the choicest wines in Spain, and
insinuated that for the solid supply of the table, he flat-
tered himself a person of his education and experience,
who had been six years at the head of my Lord Arch-
bishop of Valencia's kitchen, must know how to dish up
a dinner so as to meet the ideas of the most fastidious lay-
man in Christendom. But the proof of the pudding is in
the eating, added he; so I will just go and give you a speci-
men of my talent. You had better take a walk, my lord,
while dinner is getting ready: look about the premises; and
see whether you find them in tenantable condition for a per-
son of your lordship's dignity.

The reader may guess whether I did not stir my stumps;
and Scipio, still more eager than myself to take a bird's eye
inventory of our goods and chattels, dragged me back and
fore from room to room. There was not a comer of the
house that we did not peep into, from the garret to the
cellar: not a^ closet or a cranny, at least as we supposed,
could escape our prying curiosity ; and in every fresh room
we went into, I had occasion to admire the kindness of Don
Caesar and his son towards me. I was struck, among other
things, with two apartments, which were as elegantly fur-
nished as they could be, without misplaced magnificence.
One of them was hung with tapestry, the celebrated manu-
facture of the Low Countries; th^ velvet bed and chairs
were still very handsome, though in the fashion of the time
when the Moors possessed the kingdom of Valencia. The
furniture of the other room was in the same taste; to wit,
an old suit of hangings, made of yellow Genoa damask,
with a bed and arm-chairs to match, fringed with blue silk.
All these effects, which would have furnished but a sorr>-
display in an upholsterer's shop, made no contemptible
appearance in their present situation.

After having rummaged over every article of the para-
phernalia, my secretary and myself returned to the dining-
room, where the cloth was laid for two ; we sat down ; and in
an instant they served up so dehcious an olla podrida, that
we could not help revolving on the various turns of the fate

2 1 6 History of Gil Bias

below which had parted the good Archbishop of Valencia
from his cook. We had in truth a most cathoHc and raven-
ous appetite; a circumstance which added new zest to our
praises and enjoyments. Between every succeeding help
my servants, with all the alacrity of fresh and holiday
service, filled our large glasses to the brim with wine, the
choicest vintage of La Mancha; Scipio, not thinking it
genteel to express aloud the inward chucklings of his heart
at our dainty fare, winked and nodded his deHght, and
spoke by signs, which I returned with the like dumb elo-
quence of overflowing satisfaction. The remove was a dish
of roast quails, flanking a little leveret in high order, just
kept long enough ; for this we left our hash, good as it was,
and gorged ourselves to a surfeit on the game. When we
had eaten as if we had never eaten before, and pledged one
another in due proportion, we rose from table and went into
the garden to look out for some cool, pleasant spot, and
take our afternoon's nap voluptuously.

If hitherto my secretary had goggled satisfaction at what
he had seen, he stared wider and grinned broader at this
vista vision of the garden. He scarcely allowed the com-
parison to be in favour of the Escurial. The reason of its ex-
treme niceness was that Don Caesar, who came backwards
and forwards to Lirias, took pleasure in improving and orna-
menting it. All the walks well gravelled and lined with
orange trees, a large reservoir of white marble, with a
Hon in bronze spouting water hke a dolphin's deputy in the
middle, the beauty of the flower borders, the profusion
and variety of the fruit trees; such pretty particulars as
these made Scipio smack his lips and snuff the air; but
his raptures reached their summit at the gradual descent
of a long walk, leading to the baiHff' s cottage, and over-
arched by the interwoven boughs of the trees planted on
each side. While eulogizing a place so well adapted for a
refuge from the intenseness of the heat, we made a halt, and
sat down at the foot of an elm, where sleep required very
little cunning to entangle two high-fed, half-tipsy blades,
just risen from so voluptuous and voracious a repast.

In about two hours we were startled out of our sleep
by the report of musketry, popping so near the head-
quarters of our repose that we apprehended the camp to
be attacked. On the alert ! was the first idea that invaded

Gil Bias arrives at Lirias 217

our dozing minds. That we might procure the most
authentic inteUigence, in what direction the enemy was
approaching, we directed our march towards the bailiff's
tenement. There were collected eight or ten clodhoppers,
all friends and neighbours, assembled on the green for
the purpose of honouring my arrival, just communicated
to the vacant senses of the said clodhoppers, by a dis-
charge of fire-arms, whose barrels and furniture might
thank me for the unusual favour of a thorough cleaning.
The greater part of them were acquainted with my per-
son, having seen me more than once at the castle, while
engaged in the business of my stewardship. No sooner
did they set eyes on me, than they all shouted in unison:
Long Hfe to our new lord and master ! welcome to Lirias !
Then they loaded once again, and fired another volley in
honour of the occasion. My habits and manners were
softened down to the most condescending urbanity,
though with a decorous infusion of distance, lest any de-
grading constructions might be put upon too unhmited a
freedom of address. With respect to my protection, I
promised it according to the customary charter of newly-
installed possessors; and went so far as to throw them a
purse of twenty pistoles: and this, in my opinion, was
the point of all others in my conduct which touched their
hearts most nearly. After this benefaction, I left them
at liberty to waste as much powder as they pleased, and
withdrew with my secretary into the wood, where we
walked to and fro till night-fall, without being at all tired
of our rural prospect: so many charms had the view of a
landscape, heightened by the substantial duties of owner-
ship in fee-simple, to our elevated and deUghted imagina-
tions.

The cook, the under-cook, and the scullion were not
resting upon their oars all this time: they were working
hard to fit up for us an artifice of belly timber more mag-
nificent than what we had already demoHshed; so that
we were over head and ears in amazement, when on our
return to the room where we had dined, we saw on the
table a dish of four roast partridges, with a smothered
rabbit on one side, and a fricasseed capon on the other.
The second course consisted of pigs' ears, jugged game,
and chocolate cream. We drank deeply of the most

2 1 8 History of Gil Bias

delicious wines, and began to think of going to bed, when
it became a matter of doubt whether we could sit up any
longer. Then my people, with lighted candles before me,
led the way to the best bed-room, where they were all
most officious in assisting to undress me: but when they
had tendered me my gown and nightcap, I dismissed them
with an authoritative undulation of my hand, signifying
that their services were dispensed with for the remainder
of that night.

Thus I sent them all about their business, keeping Scipio
for a little private conference between ourselves; and I
led to it by asking him what he thought of my reception,
as arranged by order of my noble patrons. Indeed and
indeed, answered he, the human heart could not devise any-
thing more delicious ; I only wish we may go on as we have
begun. I have no wish of the kind, replied I: it is con-
trary to my principles to allow that my benefactors should
put themselves to so much expense on my account; it
would be a downright fraud upon their benevolence.
Besides, I could never feel myself at home with servants
in the pay of other people; it is just like living in a lodging
or an inn. Then it is to be remembered, that I did not
come hither to live upon so expensive a scale. What
occasion have we for so large an establishment of ser-
vants? Our utmost want, with Bertrand, is a cook, a
scuUion, and a footman. Though my secretary would
not have been at all sorry to table for a continuance at
the governor of Valencia's expense, he did not oppose his own
luxurious taste to my moral delicacy, but conformed at
once to my sentiments, and approved the reduction I was
meditating to introduce. That point being decided, he left
my chamber, and betook himself to his pillow in his own.

CHAPTER IV

A JOURNEY TO VALENCIA, AND A VISIT TO THE LORDS OF
LEYVA. THE CONVERSATION OF THE GENTLEMEN, AND
SERAPHINA'S DEMEANOUR

I GOT my clothes off as soon as possible, and went to
bed, where, finding no great inchnation to sleep, I com-

A Visit to the Lords of Leyva 219

muned with my own thoughts. The mutual attachment
between the lords of Leyva and myself was uppermost in
the various topics of my contemplation. With my heart
full of their late kindness, I determined on setting out for
their residence the next day, and quenching my impatience
to thank them for their favours. Neither was it a slender
gratification to anticipate another interview with Sera-
phina; though there was somewhat of alloy in that plea-
sure: it was impossible to reflect without shuddering,
that I should at the same time have to encounter the
glances of Dame Lorenza Sephora, who might not be
greatly deHghted at the renewal of our acquaintance, should
her memory happen to stumble upon the circumstances
connected with a certain box on the ear. With my mind
exhausted by all these different suggestions, my eyeUds
at length closed, and the sun had peeped in at my window
long before they turned upon their hinges.

I was soon out of bed; and dressed myself with all
possible expedition, in the earnest desire of prosecuting
my intended journey. Just as I had finished my hasty
operations, my secretary came into the room. Scipio, said
I, you behold a man on the point of setting out for Valencia.
I ought to lose no time in paying my respects to those
noblemen to whom I am indebted for my little independ-
ence. Every moment of delay in the performance of this
duty throws a new weight of ingratitude on my conscience.
As for you, my friend, there is no necessity for your attend-
ance; stay here during my absence; I shall come back to
you within the space of a week. Heaven speed you, sir!
answered he — be sure you do not slight Don Alphonso and
his father — they seem to me to thrill with the kindly
vibrations of friendship, and to be unbounded in the
acknowledgment of obUgation: gratitude and benevolence
are so uncommon in people of rank, that they deserve to be
made the most of where found. I sent a message to Ber-
trand, to hold himself in readiness for setting out, and
took my chocolate while he was harnessing the mules.
When all was prepared, I got into my carriage, after having
directed my people to consider my secretary as master of
the house in my absence, and to obey his orders as if they
were my own.

I got to Valencia in less than four hours, and drove at

220 History of Gil Bias

once to the governor's stables, where I alighted and left
my equipage. On going to the house, I was informed
that Don Caesar and his son were together. I did not
wait for an introduction, but went in without ceremony;
and addressing myself to both of them, Servants, said I,
never send in their names to their masters; here is an old
piece of family furniture, not ornamental indeed, but of a
fashion when gratitude was neither out of date nor out of
countenance. These words were accompanied with an
effort to throw myself on my knees; but they anticipated
my purpose, and embraced me one after the other with all
possible evidence of sincere affection. Well, then, my
dear Santillane, said Don Alphonso, you have been at
Lirias to take possession of your little property. Yes, my
lord, answered I; and my next request is, that you would
be pleased to take it back again. What is your reason for
that ? replied he. Is there anything about it at all offen-
sive to your taste ? Not in the place itself, rejoined I: on
the contrary, that is everything that my heart can wish;
the only fault I have to find with it is, that the kitchen
smells too strongly of the hierarchy; a lay Christian should
not live like an archbishop; besides that, there are three
times as many servants as are necessary, and consequently
you are put to an expense at once enormous and useless.

Had you accepted the annuity of two thousand ducats
which we offered you at Madrid, said Don Caesar, we should
have thought it enough to give you the mansion furnished
as it is: but you know, you refused it; and we felt it but
right to do what we have done as an equivalent. Your
bounty has been too lavish, answered I: the gift of the
estate was the utmost limit to which it should have been
extended, and that was more than sufficient to crown my
largest wishes. But to say nothing about what it has cost
you to keep up so great and expensive an establishment,
I declare to you most solemnly that these people stand
in my way, and are a great annoyance. In one word, gen- „
tlemen, either take back your boon, or give me leave to I
enjoy it in my own way. I pronounced these last words *
so much as if I was in earnest, that the father and son,
not meaning to lay me under any unpleasant restraint,
at length gave me their permission to manage my house-
hold as it should seem expedient to my better judgment.

A Visit to the Lords of Leyva 221

I was thanking them very kindly for having granted me
that privilege, without which a dukedom would have been
but splendid slavery, when Don Alphonso interrupted me
by saying: My dear Gil Bias, I will introduce you to a
lady who will be extremely happy to see you. Thus
preparing me for the interview, he took me by the hand
and led the way to Seraphina's apartment, who set up a
scream of joy on recognizing me. Madam, said the governor,
I flatter myself that the visit of our friend Santillane at
Valencia is not less acceptable to you than myself. On
that head, answered she, he may rest confidently assured;
time has not obliterated the remembrance of the service
which he once rendered me, and to that must be added a
new debt of gratitude incurred on the score of your obli-
gations. I told the governor's lady that I was already too
well requited for the danger which I had shared in common
with her deUverers, in exposing my life for her sake: com-
pliments to £he Hke effect were bandied about for some
time on both sides, when Don Alphonso motioned to quit
Seraphina's room. We then went back to Don Caesar,
whom we found in the saloon with a fashionable party,
who were come to dinner.

All these gentlemen were introduced, and paid their
compliments to me in the politest manner; nor did their
attentions relax in assiduity, when Don Caesar told them
that I had been one of the Duke of Lerma's principal secre-
taries. In all likelihood several of them might not be
unacquainted that Don Alphonso had been promoted to
the government of Valencia by my interest, for political
secrets are seldom kept. However that might be, while
we were at table, the conversation principally turned on
the new cardinal. Some of the company either were, or
affected to be, his unqualified admirers, while others allowed
his merit upon the whole, but thought it had been rather
overrated. I plainly saw through their design of drawing
me on to enlarge on the subject of his eminence, and to
gratify their taste for scandal with court anecdotes at his
expense. I could have been well enough pleased to have
delivered my real sentiments on his character, but I kept
my tongue within my teeth, and thereby passed in the
estimation of the guests for a close, confidential, politic,
trustworthy young statesman.

222 History of Gil Bias

The party respectively retired home after dinner to take
their usual nap, when Don Caesar and his son, yielding to a
similar incHnation, shut themselves up in their apart-
ments.

For my own part, full of impatience to see a town which
I had so often heard extolled for its beauty, I went out of the
governor's palace with the intention of walking through
the streets. At the gate a man accosted me with the fol-
lowing address : Will Signor de Santillane allow me to take
the hberty of paying my respects to him ? I asked him
who and what he was. I am Don Caesar's valet-de-
chambre, answered he, but was one of his ordinary footmen
during your stewardship; I used to make my court to you
every morning, and you used to take a great deal of notice
of me. I regularly gave you intelligence of what was
passing in the house. Do you recollect my apprising
you one day that the village surgeon of Ley va was privately
admitted into Dame Lorenza Sephora's bedchamber? It
is a circumstance which I have by no means forgotten,
replied I. But now that we are talking of that formidable
duenna, what is become of her? Alas! resumed he, the
poor creature moped and dwindled after your departure,
and at length gave up the ghost, more to the grief of
Seraphina than of Don Alphonso, who seemed to consider
her death as no great evil.

Don Caesar's valet-de-chambre, having thus acquainted
me with Sephora's melancholy end, made an humble apo-
logy for having presumed to stop my walk, and then left
me to continue my progress. I could not help paying the
tribute of a sigh to the memory of that ill-fated duenna;
and her decease affected me the more, because I taxed
myself with that melancholy catastrophe, though a mo-
ment's reflection would have convinced me, that the
grave owed its precious prey to the inroads of her cancer
rather than to the cruel charms of my person.

I looked with an eye of pleasure upon everything worth
notice in the town. The archbishop's marble palace
feasted my eyes with all the magnificence of architecture;
nor were the piazzas which surrounded the exchange much
inferior in commercial grandeur; but a large building at a
distance, with a great crowd standing before the doors,
attracted all my attention. I went nearer, to ascertain

Gil Bias sees a new Tragedy 223

the reason why so great a concourse of both sexes was col-
lected, and was soon let into the secret by reading the fol-
lowing inscription in letters of gold on a tablet of black
marble over the door: La Posada de los Representantes*
The play-bills announced for that day a new tragedy, never
performed, and gave the name of Don Gabriel Triaquero
as the author.

CHAPTER V

GIL BLAS GOES TO THE PLAY, AND SEES A NEW TRAGEDY.
THE SUCCESS OF THE PIECE. THE PUBLIC TASTE AT VALENCIA

I STOPPED for some minutes before the door, to make
my remarks on the people who were going in. There were
some of all sorts and sizes. Here was a knot of genteel-
looking fellows, whose tailors at least had done justice to
their fashionable pretensions; there a mob of ill-favoured
and ill-mannered mortals, in a garb to identify vulgarity.
To the right was a bevy of noble ladies, alighting from their
carriages to take possession of their private boxes; to the
left a tribe of female traders in lubricity, who came to seD
their wares in the lobby. This mixed concourse of spec-
tators, as various in their minds as in their faces, gave me
an itching inclination to increase their number. Just as I
was taking my check, the governor and his lady drove up.
They spied me out in the crowd, and having sent for me,
took me with them to their box, where I placed myself
behind them, in such a position as to converse at my ease
with either.

The theatre was filled with spectators from the ceihng
downwards, the pit thronged almost to suffocation, and
the stage crowded with knights of the three military orders.
Here is a full house ! said I to Don Alphonso. You are not
to consider that as anything extraordinary, answered he;
the tragedy now about to be produced is from the pen of
Don Gabriel Triaquero, the most fashionable dramatic
writer of his day. Whenever the play-bill announces any
novelty from this favourite author, the whole town of
Valencia is in a bustle. The men as well as the women
talk incessantly on the subject of the piece: all the boxes
♦ The Theatre

224 History of Gil Bias

are taken ; and, on the first night of performance, there is a
risk of broken Hmbs in getting in, though the price of
admission is doubled, with the exception of the pit, which
is too authoritative a part of the house for the proprietors
to tamper with its patience. What a paroxysm of par-
tiality! said I to the governor. This eager curiosity
of the pubhc, this hot-headed impatience to be present at
the first representation of Don Gabriel's pieces, gives
me a magnificent idea of that poet's genius.

At this period of our conversation the curtain rose.
We immediately left off talking, to fix our whole attention
on the stage. The applauses were rapturous even at the
prologue: as the performance advanced, every sentiment
and situation, nay, almost every line of the piece called
forth a burst of acclamation; and at the end of each act
the clapping of hands was so loud and incessant, as almost
to bring the building about our ears. After the dropping
of the curtain, the author was pointed out to me, going
about from box to box, and with all the modesty of a success-
ful poet, submitting his head to the imposition of those
laurels, which the genteeler, and especially the fairer part
of the audience had prepared for his coronation.

We returned to the governor's palace, where we were
met by a party of three or four gentlemen. Besides these
mere amateurs, there were two veteran authors of con-
siderable eminence in their line, and a gentleman of Madrid
with tolerably fair claims to critical authority and judg-
ment. They had all been at the play. The new piece was
the only topic of conversation during supper-time. Gen-
tlemen, said a knight of St James, what do you think of
this tragedy ? Has it not every claim to the character of a
finished work? Thoughts that breathe, and words that
burn, a hand to touch the true chords of pity, and sweep
the lyre of poetry; requisites how rarely, and yet how
admirably united! In a word, it is the performance of a
person mixing in the higher circles of society. There can
be no possible difference of opinion on that subject, said
a knight of Alcantara. The piece is full of strokes which
Apollo himself might have aimed, and of perplexities
contrived so that none but the author himself could have
unravelled them. I appeal to that acute and ingenious
stranger, added he, addressing his discourse to the Cas-

Gil Bias sees a new Tragedy 225

tilian gentleman; he looks to me like a good judge, and I
will lay a wager that he is on my side of the question.
Take care how you stake on an uncertainty, my worthy
knight, answered the gentleman with a sarcastic smile.
I am not of your provincial school; we do not pass our
judgment so hastily at Madrid. Far from sentencing a
piece on its first representation, we are jealous of its apparent
merit while aided by scenic deception ; our fancies and our
feelings may be carried away for the moment, but our
serious decision is suspended till we have read the work;
and the most common result of its appeal to the press is a
defalcation from its powers of pleasing on the stage.

Thus you perceive, pursued he, that it is our practice to
examine a work of genius closely before we stamp on it
the mark of a stock piece: it's author's fame, let it ring
as loudly as it may, can never confound oiu: exactness of
discrimination. When Lope de Vega himself or Calderona
ventured on the boards, they encountered rigid critics,
though in an audience which doted on them: critics who
would not sign their passport to the regions of immortality
till they had sifted their claims to be admitted there.

That is a little too much, interrupted the knight of St
James. We are not quite so cautious as you. It is not
our custom to wait for the printing of a piece in order to
decide on its reputation. By the very first performance
it sinks or swims. It does not even seem necessary to be
inconveniently attentive to the business of the stage. It is
sufficient that we know it for a production of Don Gabriel,
to be persuaded that it combines every excellence. The
works of that poet may justly be considered as com-
mencing a new era, and fixing the criterion of good taste.
The school of Lope and Calderona was the mere cart of
Thespis, compared with the poHshed scenes of this great
dramatic master. The gentleman, who looked up to Lope
and Calderona as the Sophocles and Euripides of the
Spaniards, could not easily be brought to acknowledge
such wild canons of criticism. This is dramatic heresy
with a vengeance! exclaimed he. Since you compel me,
gentlemen, to decide like you on the fallacious evidence of
a first night, I must tell you that I am not at all satisfied
with this new tragedy of your Don Gabriel. As a poem it
abounds more with glittering conceits than with passages
II I

22 6 History of Gil Bias

of pathos or delineations of nature. The verses, three out
of four, are defective either in measure or rhyme ; the char-
acters, clumsily imagined or incongruously supported;
and the thoughts have often the obscurity of a riddle with-
out its ingenuity.

The two authors at table, who, with a prudence equally
commendable and unusual, had said nothing for fear of
lying under the imputation of jealousy, could not help
assenting to the last speaker's opinions by their looks;
which warranted me in concluding that their silence was
less owing to the perfection of the work than to the dic-
tates of personal policy. As for the military critics, they
got to their old topic of ringing the changes on Don Gabriel,
and exalted him to a level with the under-tenants of
Olympus. This extravagant association with the demi-
gods, this blind and stiff-necked idolatry, divorced the
Castilian from his little stock of patience, so that, raising
his hands to heaven, he broke out abruptly into a volley
of enthusiasm: O divine Lope de Vega, sublime and un-
rivalled genius, who has left an immeasurable space
between thee and all the Gabriels who would light their
tapers from thy bright effulgence ! and thou, mellow, soft-
voiced Calderona, whose elegance and sweetness, reject-
ing buskined rant and tragic swell, reign with undisputed
sway over the affections, fear not, either of you, lest your
altars should be overturned by this tongue-tied nursling
of the muses ! It will be the utmost of his renown, if pos-
terity, before whose eyes your works shall live in daily
view, and form their dear delight, shall enrol his name, as
matter of history and curious record, on the list of obsolete
authors.

This animated apostrophe, for which the company was
not at all prepared, raised a hearty laugh, after which we
all rose from the table and withdrew. An apartment
had been got ready for me by Don Alphonso's order, where
I found a good bed; and my lordship, lying down in luxu-
rious weariness, went to sleep upon the tag of the Cas-
tilian gentleman's impassioned vindication, and dreamed
most crustily of the injustice done to Lope and Calderona
by ignorant pretenders.

Gil Bias meets a Man of Sanctity 227

CHAPTER VI

GIL BLAS, WALKING ABOUT THE STREETS OF VALENCIA,
MEETS WITH A MAN OF SANCTITY, WHOSE PIOUS FACE HE
HAS SEEN SOMEWHERE ELSE. WHAT SORT OF MAN THIS
MAN OF SANCTITY TURNS OUT TO BE

As I had not been able to complete my view of the city
on the preceding day, I got up betimes in the morning with
the intention of taking another walk. In the street I
remarked a Carthusian friar, who doubtless was thus early
in motion to promote the interests of his order. He walked
with his eyes fixed on the ground, and a gait so holy and
contemplative, as to inspire every passenger with rehgious
awe. His path was in the same direction as mine. I looked
at him with more than ordinary curiosity, and could not
help fancying it was Don Raphael, that man of shifts and
expedients, who has already secured so honourable a niche
in the temple of fame. {See Books I. to VI. of my Me-
moirs.)

I was so utterly astonished, so thrown off my balance
by this meeting, that instead of accosting the monk, I
remained motionless for some seconds, which gave him
time to get the start of me. Just heaven ! said I, were there
ever two faces more exactly alike ? I do not know what
to make of it! It seems incredible that Raphael should
turn up in such a guise! And yet how is it possible to
be any one else ? I felt too great a curiosity to get at the
truth not to pursue the inquiry. Having ascertained the
way to the monastery of the Carthusians, I repaired thither
immediately, in the hope of coming across the object of my
search on his return, and with the full intent of stopping
and parleying with him. But it was quite unnecessary to
wait for his arrival to enhghten my mind on the subject:
on reaching the convent gate, another physiognomy, such
as few persons had read without paying for their lesson,
resolved all my doubts into certainty; for the friar who
served in the capacity of porter was unquestionably my
old and godly-visaged servant, AmbrQSfi-deJLamela.

Our surprise was equal on bomsides at meeting again
in such a place. Is not this a play upon the senses ? said I,

2 28 History of Gil Bias

paying my compliments to him. Is it actually one of my
friends who presents himself to my astonished sight ? He
did not know me again at first, or probably might pretend
not to do so; but reflecting within himself that it was in
vain to deny his own identity, he assumed the start of a
man who all at once hits upon a circumstance which had
hitherto escaped his recollection. Ah, Signor Gil Bias!
exclaimed he, excuse my not recognizing your person im-
mediately. Since I have lived in this holy place, every
faculty of my soul has been absorbed in the performance
of the duties prescribed by our rules, so that by degrees I
lose the remembrance of all worldly objects and events.

After a separation of ten years, said I, it gives me much
pleasure to find you again in so venerable a garb. For my
part, answered he, it fills me with shame and confusion to
appear in it before a man who has been an eye-witness
of my guilty courses. These ghostly weeds are at once
the charm of my present life, and the condemnation of my
former. Alas! added he, heaving a righteous sigh, to be
worthy of wearing it, my earlier years should have been
passed in primitive innocence. By this discourse, so
rational and edif5^ng, replied I, it is plain, my dear brother,
that the finger of the Lord has been upon you, that you
are marked out for a vessel of sanctification. I tell you
once again, I am deHghted at it, and would give the world
to know in what miraculous manner you and Raphael
were led into the path of the righteous ; for I am persuaded
that it was his own self whom I met in the town, habited
as a Carthusian. I was extremely sorry afterwards not to
have stopped and spoken to him in the street; and I am
waiting here to apologize for my neglect on his return.

You were not mistaken, said Lamela, it was Don Raphael
himself whom you saw; and as for the particulars of our
conversion, they are as follow: After parting with you
near Segorba, we struck into the Valencia road, with the
design of bettering our trade by some new speculation.
Chance or destiny one day led our steps into the church
of the Carthusians, while service was performing in the
choir. The demeanour of the brethren attracted our
notice, and we experienced in our own persons the involun-
tary homage which vice pays to virtue. We admired the
fervour with which they poured forth their devotions.

Gil Bias meets a Man of Sanctity 229

their looks of pious mortification, their deadness to the
pleasures of the world and the flesh, and in the settled
composure of their countenances, the outward sign of an
approving conscience within.

While making these observations, we fell into a train
of thought which became hke manna to the hungry and
thirsty soul: we compared our habits of hfe with the
employments of these holy men, and the wide difference
between our spiritual conditions filled us with confusion
and affright. Lamela, said Don Raphael, as we went out
of church, how do you stand affected by what we have just
seen ? For my part, there is no disguising the truth, my
mind is ill at ease. Emotions, new and indescribable,
are rushing upon my mind: and, for the first time in my
Hfe, I reproach myself with the wickedness of my past
actions. I am just in the same temper of soul, answered
I ; my iniquities are all drawn up in array against me, they
beset me, they stare me in the face; my heart, hitherto
proof against all the arrows of remorse, is at this moment
shot through, torn and disfigured, tormented and destroyed.
Ah! my dear Ambrose, resumed my partner, we are two
stray sheep, whom our Heavenly Father, in mercy, would
lead back gently to the fold. It is he himself, my child,
it is he who warms and guides us. Let us not be deaf to
the call of his voice ; let us abandon all our wicked courses,
let us begin from this day to work out our salvation with
diligence and in the spirit of repentance: we had better
spend the remainder of our days in this convent, and con-
secrate them to penitence and devotion.

I applauded Raphael's sentiment, continued brother
Ambrose ; and we formed the glorious resolution of becoming
Carthusians. To carry it into effect, we applied to the
venerable prior, who was no sooner made acquainted with
our purpose, than to ascertain whether our call was from
the world above or the world beneath, he appointed us to
cells, and all the strictness of monkish disciphne, for a whole
year. We acted up to the rules with equal regularity and
fortitude, and, by way of reward, were admitted among the
novices. Our condition was so much what we wished it,
and our hearts were so full of religious zeal, that we under-
went the toils of our noviciate with unflinching courage.
When that was over, we professed ; after which, Don Raphael,

230 History of Gil Bias

appearing admirably well qualified, both by natural talent
and various experience, for the management of secular con-
cerns, was chosen assistant to an old friar who was at that
time proctor. The son of Lucinda would infinitely have
preferred dedicating every remaining moment of his
existence to prayer; but he found it necessary to sacrifice
his taste for devotion, in furtherance of the general pros-
perity. He entered with so much zeal and knowledge into
the interests of the house, that he was considered as the
most eligible person to succeed the old proctor, who died
three years afterwards. Don Raphael accordingly fills
that office at present ; and it may be truly said that he dis-
charges his duty to the entire satisfaction of all our fathers,
who praise in the highest terms his conduct in the adminis-
tration of our temporalities. What is most of all miracu-
lous, and shews the hand of heaven in his conversion, is
that, with such an accumulation of business rushing
in upon him in his bursarial department, his regards are
inaUenably fixed on the world to come. When business
leaves him but a moment to recruit nature, instead of
lavishing the short period in indulgence, his thoughts
wing their way into the regions of devout and holy medita-
tion. In short, he is the most exemplary member of this
body.

At this period of our conversation I interrupted Lamela
by an ebullition of joy to which I gave vent at the sight
of Raphael coming in. Here he is! exclaimed I: behold
that righteous bursar for whom I have been so impatiently
waiting. With a leap and a bound did I run to meet and
embrace him. He submitted to the hug with his newly-
acquired resignation; and, without betraying the slightest
shock at meeting with an old companion of his profaner
hours, his words were dictated by the spirit of gentleness
and humility: The powers above be praised, Signor de
Santillane, the powers be praised for this kind providence
whereby we meet again. In good truth, my dear Raphael,
repHed I, your happy destiny pleases me as much as if it
had been my own good luck; brother Ambrose has told
me the whole story of your conversion, and the tale almost
moved me to a similar change. What a glorious lot for
you two, my friends, when you have reason to flatter
yourselves with being among that picked number of the

Gil Bias meets a Man of Sanctity 231

elect, who have eternal happiness thrust upon them
whether they will or no !

Two miserable sinners like ourselves, resumed the son of
Lucinda, with an air which marked the extreme of sancti-
fied morality, must not hope that our own merits are of
weight enough to save our souls; but even the wicked one
who repenteth, findeth grace with the Father of mercies.
And you, Signor Gil Bias, added he, is it not time to lay in
a claim for pardon of the offences which you have com-
mitted? What is your business here in Valencia? Are
you not hankering after some office of devil's deputy,
and making shipwreck of your voyage to another world ?
Not so, by the blessing of heaven, answered I; since I
turned my back on the court, I have led a very moral
sort of life: sometimes enjoying rural recreations on an
estate of mine at a few leagues distance from this town, and
sometimes coming hither to pass my time with my friend the
governor, whom you both of you must know perfectly well.

On this cue I related to them the story of Don Alphonso
de Leyva. They heard the particulars with attention;
and on my telling them that I had carried to Samuei
Simon, on the part of that nobleman, the three thousand
ducats of which we had robbed him, Lamela interrupted
the thread of my narrative, and addressing his discourse to
Raphael, said: Father Hilary, if this be true, the honest
vender of wares has no reason to quarrel with a robbery
which has paid him fifty per cent.; and our consciences,
as far as that indictment goes, may bask in the sunshine of
acquitted innocence. Brother Ambrose and I, said the
bursar, did actually, on the assumption of the habit,
send Samuel Simon fifteen hundred ducats privately, by a
pious ecclesiastic who made a pilgrimage to Xelva for the
sole purpose of accomphshing this restitution; but it will
go hard with Samuel at the general reckoning, if he for
filthy lucre could soil his fingers with that sum, after having
been reimbursed in full by Signor de Santillane. But,
said I, how do you know that your fifteen hundred ducats
were faithfully paid into his hands ? Unquestionably they
were ! exclaimed Don Raphael ; I would answer for the dis-
interested purity of that ecclesiastic as soon as for my own.
I would be your collateral security, said Lamela; he is a
priest of the strictest sanctity, a sort of imiversal almoner;

232 History of Gil Bias

and though many times cited for sums of money, deposited
with him for charitable uses, he has always non-suited the
plaintiffs, and gone out of court with an augmentation of
alms-giving notoriety.

Our conversation continued for some time longer: at
length we parted, with many a pious exhortation on their
side, always to have the fear of the Lord before my eyes,
and with many an earnest intreaty on mine, that they
would remember me constantly in their prayers. Don
Alphonso was now the first object of my search. You will
never guess, said I, with whom I have just had a long con-
ference. I am but now come from two venerable Carthu-
sians of your acquaintance; the name of the one is father
Hilary, that of the other, brother Ambrose. You are mis-
taken, answered Don Alphonso; I am not acquainted with
a single Carthusian. Pardon me, replied I ; you have seen
brother Ambrose at Xelva in the capacity of commissary,
and father Hilary as register to the Inquisition. Oh
heaven! exclaimed the governor with surprise, can it be
within the bounds of possibihty that Raphael and Lamela
should have turned Carthusians ? It is even so, answered
I ; they professed several years ago. The former is bursar
and proctor to the convent ; the latter, porter.

The son of Don Caesar rubbed his forehead twice or thrice,
then shaking his head. These worshipful officers of the
Inquisition, said he, most assuredly purpose playing over
the old farce on a new stage here. You judge of them by
prejudice, answered I, from the impression of their char-
acters as men of sin: but had you been edified by their
lectures as I have been, you would think more favourably
of their holiness. To be true, it is not for mortal men to
fathom the depth of other men's hearts; but to all appesir-
ance they are two prodigals returned home. It possibly
may be so, replied Don Alphonso : there are many instances
of hbertines, who hide their heads in cloisters, after having
scandaHzed human nature by their obliquities, to expiate
their offences by a severe penance : I heartily wish that our
two monks may be such libertines restored.

Well! and why not? said I. They have embraced the
monastic life of their own accord, and have squared their
conduct for a length of time according to the maxims of
their order. You may say what you please, retorted the

Gil Bias returns to his Seat 233

governor; but I do not like the convent's rents being
received by this father Hilary, of whom I cannot help enter-
taining a very untoward opinion. When the fine story he
told us of his adventures comes across my mind, I tremble
for the reverend brotherhood. I am wiUing to beheve with
you, that he has taken the vow with the pious intention of
keeping it; but the blaze of gold may be too much for the
weakness of his regenerated eye-sight. It is bad policy to
lock up a reformed drunkard in a wine cellar.

In the course of a few days Don Alphonso's misgivings
were fully justified; these two official props and stays of the
establishment ran away with the year's revenue. This
news, which was immediately noised about the town, could
not do otherwise than set the tongues of the wits in motion ;
for they always make themselves merry at the crosses and
losses of the well-endowed religious orders. As for the
governor ^nd myself, we condoled with the Carthusians,
but kept our acquaintance with the apostate pilferers in the
background.

CHAPTER VII

GIL BLAS RETURNS TO HIS SEAT AT LIRIAS. SCIPIO'S
AGREEABLE INTELLIGENCE, AND A REFORM IN THE
DOMESTIC ARRANGEMENTS

I PASSED a week at Valencia in the first company, living
on equal terms with the best of the nobility. Plays, balls,
concerts, grand dinners, ladies' parties, all things that
heart could wish or vanity grow tall upon, were provided
for me by the governor and his lady, to whom I paid my
court so dexterously, that they were heartily sorry to see
me set out on my return to Lirias. They even obliged me,
before they would let me go, to engage for a division of my
time between them and my hermitage. It was determined
that I should spend the winter in Valencia, and the summer
at my seat. After this bargain, my benefactors left me
at hberty to tear myself from them, and go where their
kindness would be always staring me in the face.

Scipio, who was waiting impatiently for my return, was
ready to jump out of his skin for joy at the sight of me; and
his ecstacies were doubled at my circumstantial account

2 34 History of Gil Bias

of the journey. And now for your history, my friend,
said I, taking breath: to what moral uses have you turned
the soHtary period of my absence? Has the time passed
agreeably ? As well, answered he, as it could with a ser-
vant to whom nothing is so dear as the presence of his
master. I have walked over our little domain, circuitously
and diagonally : sometimes seated on the margin of a foun-
tain in our wood, I have taken pleasure in beholding the
transparency of its waters, which are as pellucid as those
of the sacred spring, whose projection from the rock made
the vast forest of Albunea to resound with the roar of the
cascade: sometimes lying at the foot of a tree, I have lis-
tened to the song of the linnet or the nightingale. At other
times I have hunted or fished; and, what has given me
more rational deHght than all these pastimes, I have whiled
away many a profitable hour in the improvement of my
mind.

I interrupted my secretary in a tone of eager inquiry,
to ask where he had procured books. I found them, said
he, in an elegant library here in the house, whither master
Joachim took me. Heyday! in what corner, resumed I,
can this said library be? Did we not go over the whole
building on the day of our arrival? You fancied so,
rejoined he; but you are to know that we only explored
three sides of the square, and forgot the fourth. It was
there that Don Caesar, when he came to Lirias, employed
part of his time in reading. There are in this library some
very good books, left as a never-failing phylactery against
the blue devils, when our gardens despoiled of Flora's trea-
sure, and our woods of their leafy honours, shall no longer
challenge those miscreant invaders to combat in the forest
or the bower. The lords of Leyva have not done things by
halves, but have catered for the mind as well as for the
body.

This intelligence filled me with sincere rapture. I was
shewn to the fourth side of the square, and feasted with an
intellectual banquet. Don Caesar's room I immediately
determined to make my own. That nobleman's bed was
still there, with correspondent furniture, consisting of his-
torical tapestry, representing the rape of the Sabine women
by the Romans. From the bed-chamber, I went into a
closet fitted up with low bookcases well filled, and over

Gil Bias returns to his Seat 235

them the portraits of the Spanish kings. Near a window
whence you command a prospect of a most bewitching
country, there was an ebony writing-desk and a large
sofa, covered with black morocco. But I gave my atten-
tion principally to the Hbrary. It was composed of philo-
sophers, poets, historians ; and abounded in romances. Don
Caesar seemed to give the preference to that Hght reading,
if one might judge by the profusion of supply. I must own,
to my shame, that my taste was not at all above the level
of those productions, notwithstanding the extravagances
they delight in stringing together: whether it was owing
to my not being a very critical reader at that time, or
because the Spaniards are naturally addicted to the mar-
vellous. I must nevertheless plead in my own justification,
that I was alive to the charms of a sprightly and popular
morahty, and that Lucian, Horace, and Erasmus became
my favourite and standard authors.

My friend, said I to Scipio, when my eyes had coursed
over my library, here is wherewithal to feed and pamper
our minds; but our present business is to reform our
household. On that subject I can spare you a great deal of
trouble, answered he. During your absence I have sifted
your people thoroughly, and flatter myself it is no empty
boast to say that I know them. Let us begin with master
Joachim: I take him to be as great a scoundrel as ever
breathed, and have no doubt but he was turned away from
the archbishop's for errors which were too great to be
excepted in the passing of his accounts. Yet we must keep
him for two reasons: the first, because he is a good cook;
and the second, because I shall always have an eye over
him; I shall peep into his actions hke a jackdaw into a
marrow-bone, and he must be a more cunning fellow than
I take him for, to evade my vigilance. I have already told
him that you intended discharging three-fourths of your
estabhshment. This declaration stuck in his stomach;
and he assured me that, owing to his extreme desire of living
with you, he would be satisfied with half his present wages
rather than be turned off, which made me suspect that
he was tied to the string of some petticoat in the hamlet,
and did not hke to break up his quarters. As for the
under-cook, he is a drunkard, and the porter a foul-mouthed
Cerberus, of whose guardianship our gates are in no want;

236 History of Gil Bias

neither is the gamekeeper a necessary evil. I shall take
the latter office myself, as you may see to-morrow, when
we have got our fowling-pieces in order, and are provided
with powder and shot. With regard to the footmen, one
of them is an Arragonese, and to my mind a very good sort
of fellow. We will keep him ; but all the rest are such rap-
scallions, that I would not advise you to harbour one of
them, if you wanted an army of attendants.

After having fully debated the point, we resolved to
keep well with the cook, the scullion, the Arragonese, and
to get rid of the remainder as decently as we could: all
which was planned and executed on the same day, mollify-
ing the bitter dose by the appHcation of a few pistoles, which
Scipio took from our strong box, and distributed among
them as from me. When we had carried this reform into
effect, order was soon established in our mansion; we
divided the business fairly among our remaining people,
and began to look into our expenses. I could willingly
have been contented with very frugal commons; but my
secretary, loving high dishes and relishing bits, was not
a man who would suffer master Joachim to hold his place
as a sinecure. He kept his talents in such constant play,
working double tides at dinner and at supper, that any
one would have thought we had been converted by father
Hilary, and were working out the term of our probation.

CHAPTER Vni

THE LOVES OF GIL BLAS AND THE FAIR ANTONIA

Two days after my return from Valencia to Lirias, clod-
pole Basil, my farming man, came at my dressing-time, to
beg the favour of introducing his daughter Antonia, who
was very desirous, as he said, to have the honour of pa3dng
her respects to her new master. I answered that it was
very proper, and would be well received. He withdrew, and
in a few minutes returned with his peerless Antonia. That
epithet, though bold, will not be thought extravagant,
in the case of a girl from sixteen to eighteen years of age,
uniting to regular features the finest complexion and the
brightest eyes in the world. She was dressed in nothing

Gil Bias and the Fair Antonia 237

better than a stuff gown; but a stature somewhat above
the female standard, a dignified deportment, and such
graces as soared higher than the mere freshness and glow of
youth, communicated to her rustic attire the simpHcity of
classical costume. She had no cap on her head; her hair
was fastened behind with a knot of flowers, according to
the chaste severity of the Spartan fashionables.

When she illumined my chamber with her presence, I
was struck as much on a heap by her beauty, as ever were
the princes, knights, nobles, and strangers assembled at the
solemn feast and tournament of Charlemain, by the per-
sonal charms of Angehca. Instead of receiving Antonia
with modish indifference, and paying her compliments of
course, instead of ringing the changes on her father's hap-
piness in possessing so lovely a daughter, I stood stock
still, staring, gaping, stammering : I could not have uttered
an articulaJte sound for the universal world. Scipio, who
saw clearly what was the matter with me, took the words
out of my mouth, and accepted those bills of admiration
which my affairs were in too much disorder to admit of
my duly honouring. For her part, my figure being shrouded
by a dressing-gown and night-cap, Hke the orb of day by a
winter fog, she accosted me without being shame-faced,
and paid her duty in terms which fired all the combustibles
in my composition, though her words were but the hohday
expressions of common-place salutation. In the mean
time, while my secretary, Basil, and his daughter, were
engaged in reciprocal exchange of civility, I found my
senses again; and passed from one extreme of absurdity
to another, just as if I had thought that a hare-brained
loquacity would be a set-off against the idiotic silence of my
first encounter. I exhausted all my stock of well-bred
rodomontade; and expressed myself with so unguarded a
freedom, as to make Basil look about him: so that he,
with his eye upon me as a man who would set every engine
at work to seduce Antonia, was in a hurry to get her safely
out of my apartment, with a resolved purpose, probably,
of withdrawing her for ever from my pursuit.

Scipio finding himself alone with me, said with a smile:
Here is another defence for you against the blue devils!
I did not know that your farming man had so pretty a
daughter; for I had never seen her before, though I have

238 History of Gil Bias

been twice at his house. He must have taken infinite pains
to keep her out of the way, and it is impossible to be angry
with him for it. What the plague ! here is a morsel for a
liquorish palate! But there seems to be no necessity for
blazoning her perfections to you; their very first glance
dazzled you out of countenance. I do not deny it, an-
swered I. Ah! my beloved friend, I have surely seen an
inhabitant of the realms above; the electrical spark now
thrills through all my frame, it scorches like Hghtning, yet
tingles like the vivifying fluid at my heart.

You delight me beyond measure, replied my secretary,
by giving me to understand that you have at length fallen
in love. Nothing but a mistress was wanting to complete
your rural establishment at all points. Thanks to Heaven,
you are now likely to be accommodated in every way.
I am well aware that we shall have a hard matter to elude
Basil's vigilance ; but leave that to me, and I will undertake
before the end of three days to manage a private meeting
for you with Antonia. Master Scipio, said I, it is not
so sure that you would be able to keep your word; but
at all events, I have not the least desire to make the ex-
periment. I will have nothing to do with the ruin of that
girl; for she is an angel, and does not deserve to be num-
bered among the fallen ones. Therefore, instead of laying
the guilt upon your soul of assisting me in her dishonour,
I have made up my mind to marry her with your kind help,
supposing her heart not to be pre-occupied by a prior
attachment. I had no idea, said he, of your directly
plunging headlong into the cold bath of matrimony. The
generality of landlords, in your place, would stand upon
the ancient tenure of manorial rights : they would not deal
with Antonia upon the square of modem law and gospel,
till after failure in the estabhshment of their feudal privi-
leges. But though this may be the way of the world, do
not suppose that I am by any means against your honour-
able passion, or at all wish to dissuade you from your pur-
pose. Your bailiff's daughter deserves the distinction you
design for her, if she can give you the first-fruits of her
heart, an offering of sensibility and gratitude ; that is what
I shall ascertain this very day by talking with her father,
and possibly with her.

My agent was a man to transact his business according

Gil Bias and the Fair Antonia 239

to the letter. He went to see Basil privately, and in the
evening came to me in my closet, where I waited for him
with impatience, somewhat exasperated by apprehen-
sion. There was a sl5mess in his countenance, whence my
prognostic inclined to the brighter side. Judging, said I,
by that look of suppressed merriment, you are come to
acquaint me that I shall soon be at the summit of human
bliss. Yes, my dear master, answered he, the heavens
smile upon your vows. I have talked the matter over with
Basil and his daughter, declaring your intentions without
reserve. The father is delighted at the idea of your asking
his blessing as a son-in-law; and you may set your heart
at rest about Antonia's taste in a husband. Darts and
flames ! cried I in an ecstacy of amorous transport ; what !
am I so happy as to have made myself agreeable to that
lovely creature ? Never question it, rephed he ; she loves
you already. It is true, she has not owned so much by
word of mouth; but my assurance rests on the tale-telling
sparkle of her eye, when your proposals were made known
to her. And yet you have a rival ! A rival ! exclaimed I,
with a faltering voice, and a cheek blanched with fear. Do
not let that give you the least uneasiness, said he; your
competitor cannot bid very high, for he is no other than
master Joachim your cook. Ah! the hangdog! said I,
with an involuntary shout of laughter: this is the reason,
then, why he had so great an objection to being turned out
of my service. Exactly so, answered Scipio; within these
few days he made proposals of marriage to Antonia, who
pohtely dechned them. With submission to your better
judgment, rephed I, it would be expedient, at least so it
strikes me, to get rid of that strange fellow, before he is
informed of my intended match with Basil's daughter:
a cook, as you are aware, is a dangerous rival. You are
perfectly in the right, rejoined my trusty counsellor; we
must clear the premises of him — he shall receive his dis-
charge from me to-morrow morning, before he puts a finger
in the fricandeaus; thus you will have nothing more to
fear either from his poisonous sauces or bewitching tongue.
Yet it goes rather against the grain with me to part with so
good a cook; but I sacrifice the interests of my own belly
to the preservation of your precious person. You need
not, said I, take on so for his loss: he had no exclusive

240 History of Gil Bias

patent; and I will send to Valencia for a cook, who shall
outcook all his fine cookery. According to my promise I
wrote immediately to Don Alphonso, to let him know
that our kitchen wanted a prime minister; and on the
following day he filled up the vacancy in so worthy a
manner, as reconciled Scipio at once to the change in culi-
nary politics.

Though my adroit and active secretary had assured me
of Antonia's secret self-congratulation on the conquest
of her landlord's heart, I could not venture to rely solely
on his report. I was fearful lest he should have been
entrapped by false appearances. To be more certain of
my bliss, I determined on speaking in person to the fair
Antonia. I therefore went to Basil's house, and con-
firmed to him what my ambassador had announced. This
honest peasant, of patriarchal simphcity and golden-aged
frankness, after having heard me through, did not hesitate
to own that it would be the greatest happiness of his life
to give me his daughter; but, added he, you are by no
means to suppose that it is because you are lord of the
manor. Were you still steward to Don Caesar and Don
Alphonso, I should prefer you to all other suitors who
might apply: I have always felt a sort of kindness towards
you: and nothing vexes me, but that Antonia has not a
thumping fortune to bring with her. I want not the vile
dross, said I; her person is the only dowry that I covet.
Your humble servant for that, cried he; but you will not
settle accounts with me after that fashion; I am not a
beggar, to marry my daughter upon charity. Basil de
Buenotrigo is in circumstances, by the blessing of Provi-
dence, to portion her off decently; and I mean that she
should set out a little supper, if you are to be at the expense
of dinners. In a word, the rental of this estate is only five
hundred ducats : I shall raise it to a thousand on the strength
of this marriage.

Just as you please, my dear Basil, repHed I; we are not
likely to have any dispute about money matters. We are
both of a mind; all that remains is to get your daughter's
consent. You have mine, said he, and that is enough.
Not altogether so, answered I ; though yours may be abso-
lutely necessary, no business can be done without hers.
Hers follows mine of course, replied he; I should like to

Gil Bias and the Fair Antonia 241

catch her murmuring against my sovereign commands f
Antonia, rejoined I, with dutiful submission to paternal
authority, is ready without question to obey your will
implicitly in all things; but I know not whether in the
present instance she would do so without violence to her
own feeHngs; and should that be the case, I could never
forgive myself for being the occasion of unhappiness to
her; in short, it is not enough that I obtain her hand from
you, if her heart is to heave a sigh at the decision of her
destiny. Oh, blessed virgin! said Basil, all these fine
doctrines of philosophy are far above my reach; speak to
Antonia your own self, and you will find, or I am very much
mistaken, that she wishes for nothing better than to be your
wife. These words were no sooner out of his mouth than
he called his daughter, and left me with her for a few short
minutes.

Not to trifle with so precious an opportunity, I broke my
mind to her at once: Lovely Antonia, said I, it remains with
you to fix the colour of my future days. Though I have
your father's consent, do not think so meanly of me as to
suppose that I would avail myself of it to violate the sacred
freedom of your choice. Rapturous as must be the pos-
session of your charms, I waive my pretensions if you but
tell me that your duty and not your will complies. It
would be affectation to put on such a repugnance, an-
swered she; the honour of your addresses is too flattering
to excite any other than agreeable sensations, and I am
thankful for my father's tender care of me, mstead of
demurring to his will. I am not sure whether such an
acknowledgment may not be contrary to the rules of female
reserve in the polite world ; but if you were disagreeable to
me, I should be plain-spoken enough to tell you so; why,
then, should I not be equally free in owning the kind feelings
of my heart ?

At sounds like these, which I could not hear without
being enraptured, I dropped on my knee before Antonia,
and in the excess of my tender emotions, taking one of her
fair hands, kissed it with an affectionate and impassioned
action. My dear Antonia, said I, your frankness enchants
me; go on, let nothing induce you to depart from it; you
are conversing with your future husband; let your soul
expand itself, and reveal all its inmost emotions in his

24-2 History of Gil Bias

presence. Thus, then, may I entertain the flattering
hope that you will not frown on the union of our destines !
The coming in of Basil at this moment prevented me from
giving further vent to the dehghtful sensations which
thrilled through me. Impatient to know how his daughter
had behaved, and ready primed for scolding in case she
had been perverse or coy, he made up to me immediately.
Well, now! said he, are you satisfied with Antonia.? So
much so, answered I, that I am going this very moment
to set forward the preparations for our marriage. So say-
ing, I left the father and daughter, for the purpose of taking
counsel with my secretary thereupon.

CHAPTER IX

NUPTIALS OF GIL BLAS WITH THE FAIR ANTONIA ,* THE STYLE
AND MANNER OF THE CEREMONY ; THE PERSONS ASSIST-
ING thereat; and the festivities ensuing THERE-
UPON

Though there was no occasion to consult with the lords
of Leyva about my marriage, yet both Scipio and myself
were of opinion that I could not decently do otherwise
than communicate to them my purpose of connecting
myself with Basil's daughter, and just pay them the com-
pUment of asking their advice, after the act was finally
determined on.

I immediately went off for Valencia, where my visit
was a matter of surprise, and still more the purport of it.
Don Caesar and Don Alphonso, who were acquainted
with Antonia, having seen her more than once, wished me
joy on my good fortune in a wife. Don Cassar, in par-
ticular, made his speech upon the occasion with so much'
youthful fire, that if there had not been reason to suppose
his lordship weaned, by that icy moralist, time, from
certain naughty propensities, I should have suspected
him of going to Lirias now and then, not so much to look
after his concerns there, as after his little empress of the
•dairy. Seraphina, too, with the kindest assurances of a
lively interest in whatever might befall me, said that she
had heard a very favourable character of Antonia; but,

Nuptials of Gil Bias 243

added she, with a malicious fling, as if to taunt me with
my supercilious reception of Sephora's amorous advances,
even though her beauty had not been so much the talk of
the country, I could have depended on your taste, from
former experience of its delicacy and fastidiousness.

Don Caesar and his son did not stop at cold approbation
of my marriage, but declared that they would defray all the
expenses of it. Measure back your steps, said they, to
Lirias, and stay quietly there till you hear further from us.
Make no preparation for your nuptials, for we shall make
that our concern. To meet their kind intentions with
becoming gratitude, I returned to my mansion, and ac-
quainted Basil and his daughter with the projected kindness
of our patrons. We determined to wait their pleasure
with as much patience as falls to the lot of poor human
nature under such circumstances. Eight long days dragged
out their t*edious measure, and brought no tidings of our
bliss. But the rewards of self-control are not the less
assured for being slow: on the ninth, a coach drawn by four
mules drove up, with a cargo of mantua-makers for the
bride, and an assortment of rich silks on which to exercise
their art. Several livery servants, mounted on mules, ac-
companied the cavalcade. One of them brought me a letter
from Don Alphonso. That nobleman sent me word that
he would be at Lirias next day with his father and his wife,
and that the marriage ceremony should be performed on
the day after that, by the vicar-general of Valencia. And
just so it came to pass: Don Caesar, his son, and Seraphina,
with that venerable dignitary, were punctual to their ap-
pointment; all four of them in a coach and six; none of
your mules, like the mantua-makers ! preceded by another
coach and four, with Seraphina's women ; and the rear was
brought up by a company of the governor's guards.

The governor's lady had hardly entered the house,
before she testified an ardent longing to see Antonia, who
on her part no sooner knew that Seraphina was arrived, than
she ran forward to bid her welcome, with a respectful kiss
upon her hand, so gracefully and modestly impressed, that
all the company were enchanted at the action. And now,
madam! said Don Caesar to his daughter-in-law, what do
you think of Antonia? Could SantiUane have made a
better choice ? No, answered Seraphina, they are worthy

2 44 History of Gil Bhs

each of the other; there can be no doubt but their union
will be most happy. In short, every one was lavish in
the praise of my intended; and if they felt her beams so
powerfully under the echpse of a stuff gown, what must
they not have endured from her brightness, in the meridian
sunshine of her wedding finery ? One would have fancied
she had been clothed in silks, jewels, and fine linen from
her cradle, by the dignity of her air and the ease of her
deportment.

The happy moment which was to unite two fond lovers
in the bands of Hymen being arrived, Don Alphonso took
me by the hand and led me to the altar, while Seraphina
conferred the like honour on the bride elect. Our procession
had marched in fit and decent order through the hamlet to
the chapel, where the vicar-general was waiting to go through
the service; and the ceremony was performed amidst the
heartfelt congratulations of the inhabitants, and of all the
wealthy farmers in the neighbourhood, whom Basil had
invited to Antonia's wedding. Their daughters too came
in their train, tricked out in ribbons and in flowers, and
dancing to the music of their own tambourines. We
returned to the mansion under the same escort: and there,
by the provident attentions of Scipio, who officiated as
high steward and master of the ceremonies, we found three
tables set out; one for the principals of the party, another
for their household, and the third, which was by far the
largest, for all invited guests promiscuously. Antonia
was at the first, the governor's lady having made a point
of it ; I did the honours of the second, and Basil was placed
at the head of that where the country people dined. As
for Scipio, he never sat down, but was here, there, and
everywhere, fetching and carrying, changing plates and
filling bumpers, urging the company to call freely for what
they wanted, and egging them on to mirth and joUity.

The entertainment had been prepared by the governor's
cooks; and that is as much as to say, that there were all the
deHcacies imaginable, in season or out of season. The
good wines laid in for me by master Joachim, were set
running at a furious rate ; the guests were begninning to feel
their jovial influence, pleasantry and repartee gave a zest
and conviviality, when on a sudden our harmony was
interrupted by an alarming occurrence. My secretary.

Nuptials of Gil Bias 24 c

\
being in the hall where I was dining with Don Alphonso's

principal officers and Seraphina's women, suddenly fainted.

I started up and ran to his assistance; and while I was

employed in bringing him about, one of the women was

taken ill also. It was evident to the whole company that

this sympathetic malady must involve some mysterious

incident, as in effect it turned out almost immediately, that

thereby hung a tale; for Scipio soon recovered, and said

to me in a low voice, Why must one man's meat be another

man's poison, and the most auspicious of your days the

curse of mine? But every man bears the bundle of his

sins upon his back, and my pack-saddle is once more

thrown across my shoulders in the person of my wife.

Powers of mercy ! exclcdmed I, this can never be ; it is all
a romance. What! you the husband of that lady whose
nerves were so affected by the disturbance? Yes, sir,
answered he, I am her husband; and fortune, if you will
take the word of a sinner, could not have done me a dirtier
office than by conjuring up such a grievance as this. I
know not, m,y friend, repHed I, what reasons you may have
for thus belabouring your rib with wordy buffets, but
however she may be to blame, in mercy keep a bridle on
your tongue; if you have any regard for me, do not dis-
place the mirth and spoil the pleasure of this nuptial meet-
ing, by ominous disorder or enraged questions of past
injuries. You shall have no reason to complain on that
score, rejoined Scipio; but shall see presently whether I am
not a very apt dissembler.

With this assurance he went forward to his wife, whom
her companions had also brought back to life and recol-
lection; and, embracing her with as much apparent fer-
vour as if his raptures had been real. Ah, my dear Beatrice,
said he, heaven has at length united us again after ten
years of cruel separation! But this bhssful moment is
well purchased by whole ages of torturing suspense!
I know not, answered his spouse, whether you really are
at all the happier for having recovered a part of yourself:
but of this at least I am fully certain, that you never had
any reason to run away from me as you did. A fine story
indeed! You found me one night with Signer Don Fer-
dinand de Leyva, who was in love with my mistress Julia,
and consulted me on the subject of his passion; and only

246 History of Gil Bias

for that, you must take it into your stupid head, that I
was caballing with him against your honour and my own:
thereupon that poor brain of yours was turned with
jealousy; you quitted Toledo in a huff, and ran away from
your own flesh and blood as you would from a monster of
the deserts, without leaving word why or wherefore.
Now which of us two, be so good as to tell me, has most
reason to take on and be pettish? Your own dear self,
beyond all question, repHed Scipio. Beyond all question,
re-echoed she, my own ill-used self. Don Ferdinand,
very shortly after you had taken yourself off from Toledo,
married Julia, with whom I continued as long as she lived;
and, after we had lost her by sudden death, I came into my
lady her sister's service, who, as well as all her maids, and
I would do as much for them, will give me a good char-
acter; honest and sober, and a very termagant among the
impertinent fellows.

My secretary, having nothing to allege against such a
character from my lady and her maids, was determined
to make the best of a bad bargain. Once for all, said he
to his spouse, I acknowledge my bad behaviour, and beg
pardon for it before this honourable assembly. It was
now time for me to act the mediator, and to move Beatrice
for an act of amnesty, assuring her that her husband from
this time forward would make it the great object of his
life to play the husband to her satisfaction. She began to
see that there was reason in roasting of eggs, and all pre-
sent were loud in their congratulations, on the triumph
of suffering virtue, and the renovated pledge of broken
vows. To bind the contract firmer, and make it memor-
able, they were seated next to one another at table; their
healths were drank according to the laws of toasting; wish
you joy! many returns of this happy day! rang round on
every side : one would have sworn that the dinner was given
for their reconciliation, and not on account of my marriage.

The third table was the first to be cleared. The young
villagers jumped up in a body; the lads took out their
blooming partners; the tambourines struck up a merry
beat; spectators flocked from the other tables, and caught
the enhvening spirit from the gay bustle of the scene.
Every limb and muscle of every individual was in motion:
the household of the governor and his lady formed a set,

Nuptials of Gil Bias 247

apart from the rustics of the company, while their superiors
did not disdain to mingle with the homelier dancers. Don
Alphonso danced a saraband withSeraphina, and Don Caesar
another with Antonia, who afterwards took me for her part-
ner. She did not perform much amiss, considering that she
never got much further than the five positions, in learning
which she had her ankles kicked to pieces by a provincial
dancing-master at Albarazin, while on a visit to a tradesman's
wife, one of her relations. As for me, who, as I have already
said, had taken lessons at the Marchioness de Chaves's, I
figured away as the principal man in this rural ballet. With
regard to Beatrice and Scipio, they preferred a Httle pri-
vate conversation to dancing, that they might compare
notes on the subject of wear and tear during the painful
period of separation: but their billing and cooing was
interrupted by Seraphina, who, having been informed
of this dramatic discovery, sent for them to pay the cus-
tomary compliments of congratulation. My good people,
said she, on this day of general joy, it gives me additional
pleasure to •see you two restored to one another. My
friend Scipio, I return you your wife under a firm belief
that she has always conducted herself as became a woman ;
take up your abode with her here, and be a good husband
to her. And you, Beatrice, attach yourself to Antonia,
and let her be as much the object of your devoted service
as Signor de Santillane is that of your husband. Scipio,
who could not possibly, after this, think of Penelope as fit to
hold a candle to his own wife, promised to treat her with
all the deference due to such a paragon of conjugal fidehty.
The country people, having kept up the dance till late,
withdrew to their own homes; but the rejoicings were
prolonged by the company in the house. There was a grand
supper, and at bed-time the vicar-general pronounced the
blessing of consummation. Seraphina undressed the bride,
and the lords of Leyva. did me the same honour. The ridi-
culous part of the business was, that Don Alphonso's
ofiicers and his lady's attendants took it into their heads,
by way of diverting themselves, to perform the same
ceremony: they also undressed Beatrice and Scipio, who,
to render the scene supremely farcical, gravely allowed
themselves to be un trussed, and put to bed with all nup-
tial pomp and state.

248 History of Gil Bias

CHAPTER X

THE HONEY-MOON (A VERY DULL TIME FOR THE READER AS
A THIRD person) ENLIVENED BY THE COMMENCEMENT
OF SCIPIO'S STORY

" Tis heaven itself, 'tis ecstasy of bliss.
Uninterrupted joy, un tired excess;
Mirth following mirth, the moments dance away;
Love claims the night, and friendship rules the day. ' '

On the day after the wedding the lords of Leyva re-
turned to Valencia, after having lavished on me a thousand
marks of friendship. There was such a general clearance,
that my secretary and myself, with our respective wives,
and our usual establishment, were left in undisturbed pos-
session of our own home.

The efforts which we both made to please our ladies
were not thrown away: I breathed by degrees into the
partner of my joys and sorrows as much love for me as I
entertained for her; and Scipio made his better part forget
the woes and privations he had occasioned her. Beatrice,
who had very winning ways with her, and was all things
to all women, had no difficulty about worming herself into
the good graces of her new mistress, and gaining her com-
plete confidence. In short, we all four agreed admirably
well together, and began to enjoy a bliss above the common
lot of humanity. Every day rolled along more delight-
fully than the last. Antonia was pensive and demure;
but Beatrice and myself were enhsted in the crew of mirth ;
and even though we had been constitutionally sedate,
Scipio was among us, and he was of himself a pill to purge
melancholy. The best creature in the world for a snug
little party! one of those merry drolls who have only to
shew their comical faces, and set the table in a roar of
inextinguishable laughter.

One day, when we had taken a fancy to go after dinner,
and doze away the usual interval in the most sequestered
spot about the grounds, my secretary got into such exube-
rant spirits, as to chase away the drowsy god by his ex-
hilarating sallies. Do hold your tongue, my loquacious

Commencement of Scipio's Story 249

friend, said I : or else, if you are determined to wage war
against this lazy custom of our afternoons, at least tell us
something which we shall be the wiser for hearing. With
all my heart and soul, sir, answered he. Would you have
me go through all fabulous histories of wandering knights,
distressed damsels, giants, enchanted castles, and the
whole train of legendary adventures ? I had much rather
hear your own true history, replied I ; but that is a pleasure
which you have not thought fit to give me so long as we
have lived together, and I seem Hkely to go without it to the
end of the chapter. How happens that ? said he. If I have
not told you my own story, it is because you never ex-
pressed the slightest wish to be troubled with the recital:
therefore it is not my fault if you are in the dark about my
past life; but if you are really at all curious to be let into
the secret, my loquacity is very much at your service on
the occasion. Antonia, Beatrice, and myself, unanimously
took him at his word, and arranged ourselves for listening
like an attentive audience. The speculation was a safe
one on our parts ; for the tale was sure to answer, either as
a stimulant or a soporific.

I certainly ought to have been descended, said Scipio,
from some family of the highest rank and earliest antiquity;
or in default of such parentage, from the most distinguished
orders of personal merit, such as that of St James or
Alcantara, if a man may be permitted to decide on the
fittest circumstances for his own birth: but as it is not
among the privileges of human nature to elect one's own
father, you are to know that mine, by name Torribio
Scipio, was a subaltern m3n:midon of the Holy Brother-
hood. As he was going back and fore on the king's high-
way, and looking after business in his own line, he met
once on a time, between Cuenga and Toledo, with a young
Bohemian babe of chance, who appeared very pretty in
his eyes. She was alone, on foot, and carried her whole
patrimony at her back in a kind of knapsack. Whither
are you going, my httle darling ? said he in a philandering
tone of voice, unlike the natural hoarseness of his accents.
Good worthy gentleman, answered she, I am going to
Toledo, where I hope to gain an honest livelihood by hook
or by crook. Your intentions are highly commendable,
retorted he; and I doubt not but you have many a hook

250 History of Gil Bias

and many a crook among the implements of your trade.
Yes, with a blessing on my endeavours, rejoined she: I
have several little ways of doing for myself: I know how
to make washes and creams for the ladies* faces, perfumes
for their noses and their chambers; then I can tell for-
tunes, can search for things lost with a sieve and shears,
and erect figures for the taking in of shadows with a glass.

Torribio, concluding that so well-provided a girl would
be a very advantageous match for a man like himself,
who could scarcely scrape wherewithal to support life by
his own profession, though he was as good a thief-taker
as the best of them, made her an offer of marriage, and
she was nothing loth, nor prudishly coy. They flew on
the wings of inclination and convenience to Toledo, where
they were joined together; and you behold in me the happy
pledge of holy and lawful matrimony. They fixed them-
selves in a shop on the outskirts of the town, where my
mother commenced her career by seUing the said washes,
creams, tapes, laces, silk, thread, toys, and pedlar's ware;
but trade not being brisk enough to live comfortably by it,
she turned fortune-teller. This drew her customers, got
her countenance, credit, crowns, and pistoles: a thousand
dupes of either sex soon trumpeted up the reputation of
Coselina; for so my gipsy mamma had the honour to be
named. Some one or other came every day to bargain for
the exercise of her skill in the black art: at one time a
nephew at his wit's and purse's end, wanting to know
how soon his uncle was to set off post for the other world,
and leave behind him wherewithal to piece his worn-out
fortunes: at another, some yielding, love-sick girl, to in-
quire whether the swain who kept her company, and had
promised to marry her, would keep his word or be false-
hearted.

You will take notice, if you please, that my mother
always sold good luck for good money; if the accomplish-
ment trod on the heels of the prediction, well and good;
if it was fulfilled according to the rule of contraries, she
was always cool, though the parties were ever so violently
in a passion, and told them plainly that it was her familiar's
fault, not hers ; for though she paid him the highest wages,
and bound him by potent spells to stir up the cauldron of
futurity from the bottom, like earthly cooks, he would

Commencement of Scipio's Story 251

sometimes be careless or out of humour, and apportion the
ingredients wrongly.

When my mother thought the conjuncture momentous
enough to raise the devil without cheapening him in the
eyes of the vulgar, Torribio Scipio enacted his infernal
majesty, and played the part just as if he had been bom
to it, humouring the hideous features of the character by
a very small aggravation of his own natural face, and prac-
tising the pandemonian note of elocution in the lower octave
of his voice. A person in the slightest degree supersti-
tious would be scared out of his senses at my father's
figure. But one day, as his satanic prototype would have
it, there came a savage rascal of a captain, who asked to
see the devil, for no earthly purpose but to run him clean
through the body. The Inquisition, having received
notice of the devil's death, sent to take charge of his widow,
£Lnd administer to his effects; as for poor little me, just
seven years old at the time, I was sent to the foundling
hospital. There were some charitable ecclesiastics on
that establis]iment, who, being liberally paid for the edu-
cation of the poor orphans, were so zealous in their office
as to teach them reading and writing. They fancied there
was something particularly promising about me, which
made them pick me out from all the rest, and send me on
their errands. I was letter-carrier, messenger, and chapel
clerk. As a token of their gratitude, they undertook to
teach me Latin; but their mode of tuition was so harsh,
and their discipline so severe, though I was a sort of pet with
them, that, not being able to stand it any longer, I ran
away one morning while out on an errand; and, so far
from returning to the hospital, got out of Toledo through
the suburbs on the Seville side.

Though I had not then completed my ninth year, I
already felt the pleasure of being free, and master of my
own actions. I was without money and without food;
no matter ! I had no lessons to say by heart, no themes to
hammer out. After having pushed on for two hours, my
httle legs began to refuse their office. I had never before
made so long a trip. It became necessary to stop and take
some rest. I sat myself down at the foot of a tree close by
the highway; there, by way of amusement, I took my
grammar out of my pocket, and began conning it over by

252 History of Gil Bias

way of a joke; but at length, coming to recollect the raps
on the knuckles, and the castigations on the more classical
seat of punishment which it had cost me, I tore it leaf by
leaf with an apostrophe of angry import. Ah ! you odious
thing of a book ! you shall never make me shed tears any
more. While I was assuaging my vindictive spirit, by
strewing the ground about me with declensions and con-
jugations, there passed that way a hermit with a white
beard, with a large pair of spectacles on his nose, and
altogether an outside of much sanctity. He came up to
me; and, if I was an object of speculation to him, he was
no less so to me. My little man, said he with a smile, it
should seem as if we had both taken a sudden liking to each
other, and in that case we cannot do better than to live
together in my hermitage, which is not two hundred yards
distant. Your most obedient for that, answered I pertly
enough; I have not the least desire to turn hermit. At
this answer, the good old man set up a roar of laughter,
and said with a kind embrace : You must not be frightened
at my dress; if it is not becoming, it is useful; it gives me
my title to a charming retreat, and to the good-will of the
neighbouring villages, whose inhabitants love or rather
idolize me. Come this way, and I will clothe you in a
jacket of the same stuff as mine. If you think well of it,
you shall share with me the pleasures of the life I lead;
and, if it does not hit your fancy, you shall not only be
at liberty to leave me, but you may depend on it that in the
event of our parting, I shall not fail to do something hand-
some by you.

I sufiered myself to be persuaded, and followed the old
hermit, who put several questions to me, which I answered
with a truth-telling simplicity, not always to be found in a
more advanced stage of morality. On our arrival at the
hermitage he set some fruit before me, which I devoured,
having eaten nothing all day but a slice of dry bread, on
which I had breakfasted at the hospital in the morning.
The recluse, seeing me play so good a part with my jaws,
said: Courage, my good boy, do not spare my fruit; there
is plenty of it. Heaven be praised. I have not brought you
hither to starve you. And indeed that was true enough ; for an
hour after our coming in, he kindled a fire, put a leg of
mutton down to roast; and while I turned the spit, laid a

Commencement of Scipio's Story 253

small table for himself and me, with a very dirty napkin
upon it.

When the meat was done enough he took it up, and cut
some slices for our supper, which was no dry bargain, since
we quaffed a delicious wine, of which he had laid in ample
store. Well! my chicken, said he, as he rose from table,
are you satisfied with my style of Hving? You see how
we shall fare every day, if you fix your quarters here.
Then with respect to hberty, you shall do just as you please
in this hermitage. All I require of you is to accompany
me whenever I go begging to the neighbouring villages;
you will be of use in driving an ass laden with two
panniers, which the charitable peasants usually fill with
eggs, bread, meat, and fish. I ask no more than that. I
will do, said I, whatever you desire, provided you will not
oblige me to learn Latin. Friar Chrysostom, for that was
the old hermit's name, could not help smiling at my school-
boy frowardness, and assured me once more that he should
not pretend to interfere either with my studies or my
inclinations. ,

On the very next day we went on a foraging party with
the donkey, which I led by the halter. We made a profit-
able gleaning; for all the farmers took a pleasure in throwing
somewhat into our panniers. One chucked in an uncut
loaf, another a large piece of bacon; here a goose, there a
pair of giblets, and a partridge to crown the whole. But
without entering further into particulars, we carried home
provender enough for a week; and hence you may infer
the esteem and friendship in which the country people
held the holy man. It is true that he was a great blessing
to the neighbourhood: his advice was always at their ser-
vice when they came to consult him: he restored peace
where discord had reigned in families, and made up matches
for the daughters; he had a nostrum for almost any disease
you could mention, with an assortment of pious rituals, to
avert the curse of barrenness.

Hence you perceive that I was in no danger of starving
in my hermitage. My lodging, too, was none of the worst:
stretched on good fresh straw, with a cushion of ratteen
under my head, and a coverlet over me of the same stuff.
I made but one nap of it all night. Brother Chrysostom,
who had promised me a hermit's dress, made up an old gown

2 54 History of Gil Bias

of his own for me, and called me little brother Scipio. No
sooner did I appear in my religious uniform, than the ass's
back suffered for my genteel appearance in the eyes of the
villagers. It was who should give most to the little brother !
so much were they delighted with his spruce figure.

The easy, slothful hfe I led with the old hermit could
not be very revolting to a boy of my age. On the con-
trary, it suited my taste so exactly, that I should have con-
tinued it to this time, but that the fates and destinies were
weaving a more complicated tissue for my future years.
It was cast in the figure of my nativity, early to rouse my-
self from the effeminacy of a rehgious life, and to take
leave of brother Chrysostom after the following manner.

I often observed the old man at work upon his pillow,
unsewing and sewing it up again; and one day, I saw him
put in some money. This circumstance excited a ting-
ling curiosity, which I promised myself to satisfy the first
time he went to Toledo, as he generally did once a week.
I waited impatiently for the day, but as yet, without any
other motive than the mere desire of prying. At last the
good man went his way, and I unpicked his pillow, where
I found, among the stuffing, the amount of about fifty
crowns in aU sorts of coin.

This treasure must have accumulated from the gratitude
of the peasantry, whom the hermit had cured by his nos-
trums, and of their wives, who had become pregnant by
virtue of his spiritual interference. But however it got
there, I no sooner set my eyes on the money, which might
be mine without any one near me to say nay, than the
gipsy voice of nature and pedigree spoke within me. An
inextinguishable itch of pilfering tingled in my veins, and
proved that we come into the world with the mark of our
descent, and with our characters about us. I yielded to
the temptation without a struggle ; tied up my booty in a
canvas bag where we kept our combs and night-caps : then,
having laid aside the hermit's and resumed my foundling's
dress, got clear off from the hermitage, and hugged my bag
as though it had contained the boundless treasure of the
Indies.

You have heard my first exploit, continued Scipio; and
I doubt not but you will expect a succession of similar
practices. Your anticipations will not be disappointed;

Commencement of Scipio's Story 255

for there are many such evidences of genius behind, before
I come to those of my actions which prove me good as
well as clever; but I shall come to them, and you will be
convinced by the sequel, that a scoundrel bom may be
licked into virtue, as the cub of a bear into shape.

Child as I was, I knew better than to take the Toledo
road; it would have been exposing myself to the hazard
of meeting friar Chrysostom, who would have balanced
accounts with me on a very thriftless principle. I there-
fore travelled in another direction leading to the village of
Galves, where I stopped at an inn, kept by a landlady who
was a widow of forty, and hung out the bunch of grapes
to a very good purpose. This good woman no sooner
kenned me, than, judging by my dress that I must be a
truant from the orphan school, she asked who I was and
whither I was going. I answered that, having lost my
father and mother, I was looking for a place. Can you
read, my dear ? said she. I assured her that I could read,
and write too, with the best of them. In point of fact, I
could just form my letters, and join them so as to look a
little like writing; and that was clerkship enough for a
village pothouse. Then I will take you into my service,
repHed the hostess. You may earn your board easily
enough, by scoring up the customers, and keeping my
ledger. I shall give you no wages, because this inn is fre-
quented by very genteel company, who never forget the
waiters. You may reckon upon very considerable per-
quisites.

I clenched the bargain, reserving to myself, as you may
suppose, the right of emigration whenever my abode at
Galves should cease to be pleasant. No sooner was I
settled in my place, than a weight lay heavy on my mind.
I did not wish it to be known that I had money; and it was
no easy matter to devise where it could be hidden, so as
that what was sauce for the goose should not be sauce for
the gander. I was not yet well enough acquainted with
the house to trust the places obviously most proper for
such a deposit. What a source of embarrassment is great
wealth ! I determined, however, on a comer of our granary
under some straw; and beheving it to be safer there than
anywhere else, made myself as easy about it as I well could.

The household consisted of three servants: a lubberly

256 History of Gil Bias

ostler, a yoimg Galician chambermaid, and myself. Each
of us spunged what we could upon travellers, whether on
foot or on horseback. I always came in for some small
change, when the bill was paid. Then the equestrians
gave something to the ostler, for taking care of their beasts :
but as for our female fellow-servant, the muleteers who
passed that way chucked her under the chin, and gave
her more crowns than we got farthings. I had no sooner
realized a penny, than away it went to the granary, and
slept with its precursors; so that the higher rose my heap,
the more greedy did my little heart become. Sometimes
would I kiss the hallowed images of my idolatry, and look
at them with a devotional glow, which few worshippers
feel, but those whose religion is their gold.

This inordinate passion sent me back and fore to gratify
it, at least thirty times a day. I often met the landlady on
the staircase. She, being naturally of a suspicious temper,
had a mind to find out one day what could carry me every
minute to the corn-loft. She therefore went up and began
rummaging about everywhere, supposing perhaps that it
was my receptacle for articles purloined in the house. Of
course she did not forget to pull the straw about; and
behold, there was my bag ! Two hands in a dish and one
in a purse, was not one of her proverbs; so that finding
the contents in crowns and pistoles, she thought, or seemed
to think, that the money was lawfully and honestly hers.
At least she had possession, and that is nine points of the
law, though scarcely one of honesty. But to do the thing
decently, after calling me little wretch, little rascal, and
so forth, she ordered the ostler, a fellow without any will
but hers, to give me a hearty flogging; and then turn me
out of doors, with this salt eel for my breakfast, and a
lady-like oath that no hght-fingered gentry should ever
darken her doors. In vain did I protest and vow that I
never wronged my mistress: she affirmed the direct con-
trary, and her word would go further than mine at any
time. Thus were friar Chrysostom's savings transferred
from one thief to a greater thief in the thief-taker.

I wept over the loss of my money, as a father over the
death of his only son: and though my tears could not
bring back what I had lost, they at least answered the pur-
pose of exciting pity in some people, who saw how bitterly

Commencement of Scipio*s Story 257

they flowed, and among others in the parson, who was
accidentally going by. He seemed affected by my sad
plight, and took me home with him. There, to gain my
confidence, or rather to pmnp me, he began soothing my
sorrows. How much this poor child is to be pitied! said
he. Is it any wonder if, thrown upon the wide world at
so tender an age, he has committed a bad action ? Grown
up men are not always proof against the flesh or the devil.
Then, addressing me. Child, added he, from what part of
Spain do you come, and who are your parents? You
have the look of family about you. Open your heart to
me confidentially, and depend upon it, I never will desert
you.

His reverence, by this kind and insinuating language,
engaged me by degrees to tell him all my history, without
falsification or reserve. I owned everything; and thus he
moralized on the leading article of my confession: My
little friend, though hermits ought to lay up such treasures
as neither force nor fraud can wrest from them, that was
no excuse for your taking the measure of punishment
into your own hands: by robbing brother Chrysostom,
you nevertheless sinned against that article of the deca-
logue, which tells you not to steal; but I will engage
to make the hostess return the money, and will punctually
remit it to the reverend friar at his hermitage: you may
therefore make your conscience perfectly^ easy on that
score. Now, between ourselves, my conscience was per-
fectly callous to everything like compunction with re-
spect to the crime in question. The parson, who had
his own ends to answer, had not done with me yet. My
lad, pursued he, I mean to take you by the hand, and find
a good berth for you. I shall send you to-morrow morn-
ing, by the carrier, to my nephew, a canon of Toledo.
He will not refuse, at my request, to admit you upon his
establishment, where they live like so many sons of the
church, rosily, merrily, and fatly, upon the rents of his pre-
bendal stall: you will be perfectly comfortable there, take
my word for it-
Patronage Hke this gave me so much encouragement, that
I did not throw away another thought either upon my bag
or my whipping. My mind was wholly occupied with the
idea of living rosily, merrily, and fatly, hke a son of the
II K

258 History of Gil Bias

church. The following day, at breakfast-time, there
came, according to orders, a muleteer to the parsonage, with
two mules saddled and bridled. They helped me to mount
one, the muleteer flung his leg over the other, and we trotted
on for Toledo. My fellow-traveller was a good, pleasant
companion, and desired nothing better than to indulge his
humour at the expense of his neighbour. My Httle volun-
teer, said he, you have a good friend in his reverence, the
minister of Galves. He could not give you a better proof
of his kindness, than by placing you with his nephew the
canon, whom I have the honour of knowing, far beyond all
question or comparison, to be the cock of the chapter,
and a hearty one he is. None of your lantern-jawed saints,
with Lent in his face, a cat-of-nine-tails on his back, and a
cholera morbus in his belly. No such thing ! Our doctor
is rubicund in the jowl, efflorescent on the nose, with a
wicked eye at a bumper or a girl ; militant against no earthly
pleasure, but most addicted to the good things of the table.
You will be as snug there as a bug in a blanket.

This hangman of a muleteer, perceiving with what exqui-
site satisfaction I took in all this, went on tantalizing me
with the joys of an ecclesiastical life. He never dropped
the subject till we got to the village of Obisa, and stopped
there to refresh our mules. Then, while bustling about
the inn, he accidentally dropped a paper from his pocket,
which I was cunning enough to pick up without his seeing
me, and took an opportunity of reading while he was in the
stable. It was a letter addressed to the governors and
superintendents of the orphan school, conceived in these
terms: " Gentlemen, I consider it as an act at once of
charity and of duty, to send you back a Httle truant; he
seems a shrewd lad enough, and may do very well with good
looking after. By dint of hard and frequent chastisement, I
doubt not but you will ultimately bring him to a sense of
his own unworthiness and your benevolence. May a bless-
ing be vouchsafed on your pious and charitable labours,
for the early extirpation of sin and wickedness !

(Signed) " The Minister of Galves."

When I had finished reading this pleasant letter, which
let me into the good intentions of his reverence the rector,
it required little deliberation to determine what I was to do:

Commencement of Scipio's Story 259

from the inn to the banks of the Tagus, a space of three good
miles, was but a hop, step, and jump. Fear lent me wings
to escape from the governors of the foundling hospital,
whither I was absolutely resolved never to return, having
formed principles of taste diametrically opposite to their
method of teaching the classics. I went into Toledo with
as light a heart as if I had known where to get my daily
bread. To be sure, it is a town of ways and means, where
a man who can hve by his wits need never die of hunger.
Scarcely had I reached the high street, when a well-dressed
gentleman by whom I brushed, caught me by the arm, say-
ing: My Httle fellow, do you want a place? You are just
such a smart lad as I was looking for. And you are just
the master for my money, answered I. Since that is the
case, rejoined he, you are mine from this moment, and
have only to follow me, which I did without asking any
more questions.

This spark, about the age of thirty, and bearing the
name of Don Abel, lodged in very handsome ready-fur-
nished apartments. He was by profession a blacklegs;
and the following was the nature of our engagement. In
the morning I got him as much tobacco as would smoke
five or six pipes; brushed his clothes, and ran for a barber
to shave him and trim his whiskers; after which he made
the circle of the tennis-courts, whence he never returned
home till eleven or twelve at night. But every morning,
at going out, he gave me three reals for the expenses of the
day, leaving me master of my own time till ten o'clock
in the evening; and provided I was wi thin-doors by his
return, all was well. He gave me a livery besides, in which
I looked like a httle lackey of illicit love. I took very
kindly to my condition, and certainly could not have met
with any more congenial with my temper.

Such and so happy had been my way of life for nearly
a month, when my employer inquired whether I liked his
service; and on my answer in the affirmative, Well, then,
resumed he, to-morrow we shall set out for Seville, whither
my concerns call me. You will not be sorry to see the
capital of Andalusia. " He that hath not Seville seen,"
says the proverb, " Is no traveller I ween." I engaged at
once to follow him all over the world. On that very day,
the Seville carrier fetched away a large trunk with my

26o History of Gil Bias

master's wardrobe, and on the next morning we were on
the road for Andalusia.

Signor Don Abel was so lucky at play, that he never
lost but when it was convenient; but then it was seldom
convenient to stay long in a place, because those who are
always losers find out at last, that though chance is a dan-
gerous antagonist, certainly it is a desperate one ; and that
accounted for our journey. On our arrival at Seville, we
took lodgings near the Cordova gate, and resumed the same
mode of life as at Toledo. But my master found some
difference between the two towns. The Seville tennis-
courts could produce players equally in fortune's good
graces with himself; so that he sometimes came home a
good deal out of humour. One morning, when he was
biting the bridle for the loss of a hundred pistoles the day
before, he asked why I had not carried his Hnen to the
laundress. I pleaded forgetfulness. Thereupon, flying
into a passion, he gave me half-a-dozen boxes on the ear,
in such a style, as to kindle an illumination in my blinking
eyes, to which the glories of Solomon's temple were no
more to be compared, than the torches in a Candlemas
procession to a rush-light. There is for you, you little
scoundrel! said he; take that, and learn to mind your
business. Must I be eternally at your heels to remind
you of what you are to do? Are your brains in your
belly, and all your wits in your grinders? You are not
a downright idiot ! Then why not prevent my wants and
anticipate my orders? After this experimental lecture,
he went out for the day, leaving me in high dudgeon, at a
reprimand so much in the manner of my friend the ostler,
for such a trifle as not getting up his things for the wash.

I could never learn what happened to him a short time
after at a tennis-court ; but one evening he came home in a
terrible heat. Scipio, said he, I am bent on going to Italy,
and must embark the day after to-morrow on board a
vessel bound for Genoa. I have my reasons for making
.this little excursion; of course you will be glad to attend
me, and to profit by so fine an opportunity of seeing
the loveliest country on the face of the earth. My tongue
gave consent; but with a salvo in my heart and a bargain
with my revenge, to give him the slip just at the moment
of embarkation. This was so deHghtful a scheme, that I

Commencement of Scipio's Story 261

could not help imparting it to a bully by profession, whom
I met in the street. During my abode in Seville, I had
picked up some awkward acquaintance, and this was one
of the most ungainly. I told him how and why m.y ears
had been boxed, and then communicated my project of
running away from Don Abel just before the ship was to
sail, begging to know what he thought of the plan.

My bluff adviser puckered his eyebrows while he lis-
tened, and fiddled with his fingers about his whiskers : then,
blaming my master very seriously. My little hero, said he,
you are eternally disgraced, can never shew your face
again, if you sit down quietly with so paltry a satisfaction
as what you propose. To let Don Abel go off by himself,
would be a poor revenge for wrongs like yours ; the punish-
ment should be proportioned to his crime. Let us fine him
to the full amount of his purse and effects, which we will
share like brothers after he is gone. Now it is to be noted,
that though thieving fell in very naturally with the bent of
my genius, the proposal rather startled me, as the robbery
was upon a large scale for so young an apprentice.

And yet the arch deceiver of my innocence found the
means of working me up to the perpetration, so that the
result of our enterprise was as follows. This glorious ruf-
fian, a tall, brawny fellow, came in the evening about twi-
light to our lodging. I shewed my master's travelling
trunk ready packed, and asked him whether he could
carry so heavy a load upon his shoulders. So heavy as
that ! said he : shew me where a transfer of property is to
be made in my favour, and I could run with Noah's ark to
the top of mount Ararat. To prove his words, he felt
the trunk, flung it carelessly over his back, and scampered
down-stairs. I followed nimbly; and we had just got to
the street door, when Don Abel, brought home in the nick
of time by the ascendancy of his lucky stars, stood hke an
apparition, to appal our guilty souls.

Whither are you going with that trunk ? said he. I was
so taken by surprise that my assurance failed me; and
broad-shoulders, finding that he had drawn a blank in the
lottery, threw down his booty, and took to his heels, rather
than be troubled for an explanation. Once more, whither
are you going with that trunk? said my master. Sir,
answered I, with all the honest simplicity of a criminal,

262 History of Gil Bias

pleading in arrest of judgment, I was going to put it on
board the vessel, that we might have the less to do to-
morrow, before we embark ourselves. Indeed ! Then you
know, retorted he, in what ship I have taken my passage ?
No, sir, repHed I ! but those who can talk Latin may always
find their way to Rome : I should have inquired at the port,
and somebody would have informed me. At this explana-
tion, which left his opinion where it found it, he darted a
furious glance at me. I thought for all the world, he was
going to cuff me again about the head. Who ordered you,
cried he, to take my trunk out of this house ? You, your
own self, said I. Can you possibly have forgotten how
you rated me but a few days ago ? Did you not tell me,
with a flea in my ear, that you would have me prevent
your wants, and do beforehand from my own head what-
ever your service might require ? Now, not to be threshed
a second time for want of forethought, I was seeing your
trunk safe and soon enough on board. On this the game-
ster, finding that I had cut my teeth of wisdom sooner
than suited his purpose, turned me off very coolly, sa3dng :
Go about your business, master Scipio, and speed as you
may deserve. I do not like to play with folks who are in
the habit of revoking. Get out of my sight, or I shall set
your solfeggio in a crying key.

I spared him the trouble of telling me to go twice. Off I
shot like an arrow, for fear he should unfledge me, by
taking away my livery. When distant enough to slacken
my pace, I walked along in the streets, musing whither I
might betake myself for a night's lodging, with only two
reals in my pocket. The gate of the archbishop's palace
at length stared me in the face; and, as his grace's supper
was then dressing, a savoury odour exhaled from the
kitchens, impregnating the gale with soup and sauce for
a mile round. Ods haricots and cutlets! thought I, it
would be no hard matter for me to dispense with one of
those little side dishes, which will be of no use to the arch-
bishop but to make out the figure of his table : nay, I would
be contented only just to dip in my four fingers and thumb,
and then to sup like a bear upon suckings. But how to
accomplish it! Is there no way of bringing these choice
morsels to a better test than that of smell? And why
not? Hunger, they say, will break through stone walls.

Commencement of Scipio*s Story 263

On this idea did I set my wits to work; and, by dint of
conning over the subject, a stratagem struck me, which
set my lungs as well as appetite in motion, just as the old
carpenter kept bawling, " I have found it," like a mad-
man, when he had hit the right nail of his proposition on
the head. I ran into the court of the palace, and made
the best of my way to the kitchens, caUing out with all my
might, " Help ! help ! " as if some assassin had been at my
heels.

At my reiterated cries master Diego, the archbishop's
cook, ran with three or four kitchen drudges to learn what
was the matter; and seeing only me, asked why I roared
so loud. Ah! good sir, answered I, with every token of
exquisite distress, for mercy's sake and for St Polycarp's!
save me, I beseech you, from the fury of a blusterer, who
swears he will kill me. But where is the disturber of the
pubHc peace? cried Diego. You have no one to quarrel
with but yourself; for I do not see so much as a cat to spit
at you. Go your ways, my little man, and do not be afraid ;
it is evidently some wag who has been playing upon your
cowardice for his diversion; but he knew better than to
follow you within these walls, for we would have cut his
ears off at the least. No, no, said I, it was for no laughing
matter that he ran after me. He is a noted footpad, and
meant to rob me; I am certain that he is how waiting for
me at the comer of the street. Then he may wait long
enough, replied the knight of the iron spit; for you shall
stay here till to-morrow. You shall sup with us, and we
will give you a bed.

I was out of my Httle wits with joy at the mention of these
last tidings; and it was hke the turnpike road to paradise
after crossing an Arabian desert, when being led by master
Diego through the kitchens, I there saw my lord arch-
bishop's supper, and the stew-pans in the last throes of
parturition. There were fifteen accountable souls, for I
reckoned them up, in attendance on the labour; but the
litter of dishes far out-numbered the fecundity of nature in
her most prohfic mood: so much more gracious and bounti-
ful is providence to the heads of the church in the indul-
gence of their appetites, than mindful of the worthless
brute creation in the propagation of its kind. Here it
was, at the fountain-head of prelacy, inhaling an atmo-

264 History of Gil Bias

sphere of gravy, instead of just snuffing the scent as it lay
upon the breeze, that I first shook hands with sensuaHty.
I had the honour of supping with the scullions, and of
sleeping in their room; an initiation of friendship so sin-
cere and strong, that on the following day, when I went to
thank master Diego for his goodness in vouchsafing me a
refuge, he said: Our kitchen lads have been with me in a
body, to declare how excessively delighted they are with
your manners, and to propose having you among them as
a fellow-servant. How should you, on your part, Hke to
make one of the society? I answered that, with such a
feather in my cap, I should be the vainest and the hap-
piest of mortals. Then so be it, my friend, repHed he;
consider yourself henceforth as a buttress of the hierarchy.
With this invitation, he introduced me to the major-domo,
who thought he saw talent enough in me for a turnspit.

No sooner was I in possession of so honourable an office,
than master Diego, following the practice of cooks in great
houses, who pamper up their pretty dears in private with
all sorts of good things, selected me to supply a lady in the
neighbourhood with a regular table of butcher's meat,
poultry, and game. This good friend of his was a widow
on the right side of thirty, very pretty, very lively, and to
all appearance contenting herself with cupboard love for
her cook. His generous passion was not confined to fur-
nishing her with bread, meat, and garnish; she drank her
wine too, and the archbishop was her wine-merchant.

The improvement of my parts kept pace with that of
my carnal condition in his grace's palace: where I gave a
specimen of rising genius, still ringing on the trump of
fame at Seville. The pages and some others of the house-
hold had a mind to get up a play on my lord archbishop's
birthday. They chose a popular Spanish tragedy; and
wanting a boy about my age to personate the young King
of Leon, cast me for the part. The major-domo, a great
spouter, undertook to train me for the stage; and after a
few lessons, pronounced that I should not be the worst
actor of the company. His grace not wishing to starve so
handsome a comphment to himself, no expense was spared
in getting it up magnificently. The largest hall in the
palace was fitted up as a theatre, with appropriate deco-
rations. At the side scene there was a bed of turf, on which

Commencement of Scipio's Story 265

I was to be discovered asleep, when the Moors were to rush in
and take me prisoner. When we had got so forward with
our rehearsals as to be sure of being ready by the time
fixed, the archbishop sent out cards of invitation to all
the principal famihes in the city.

At length the great, the important day arrived; and
each performer was big with the contrivance and adjust-
ment of his dress. Mine was brought by a tailor, accom-
panied by our major-domo, who, after taking the trouble
of drilling me at rehearsal, wished to see justice done to
my outward appearance. The tailor put me on a rich robe
of blue velvet, with hanging sleeves, gold lace, fringe, and
buttons: the major-domo himself crowned me with a paste-
board crown, studded with false diamonds and real pearls.
Moreover, they gave me a sash of pink silk worked in silver ;
so that every new ornament was hke a quill-feather in the
wing of a bird. At last, about dusk, the play began. The
curtain drew up for my soliloquy; the purport of which
was to express, in a roundabout, poetical way, that not
being able to defend myself from the influence of sleep,
I was going to lie down and take it as it came. To suit the
action to the word, I sidled off to the comer between the
flat and the wings, and squatted down on my bed of turf,
but instead of going to sleep, according to promise, I was
hammering upon the means of getting into the street, and
running away with my coronation finery. A httle private
staircase, leading under the theatre into the lower saloon,
seemed to furnish the probabihty of success. I slid away
sHly, while the audience were considering some necessary
question of the play, and ran down the staircase, through
the saloon, to the door, calling out, "Make way! make
way! I must change my dress, and run up again in a
moment! " They all made a lane, for fear of hindering
me; so that in less than two minutes I got clear of the
palace, under cover of the darkness, and scampered to the
house of my friend who saw gentlemen's trunks safe on
board.

He stared like a stuck pig at my equipment I But when
I let him into the why and the wherefore, he laughed ready
to spHt his sides. Then, shaking hands in the sincerity of
his heart, because he flattered himself with the hope of a
pension on the King of Leon's civil hst, he wished me joy

266 History of Gil Bias

of so successful a first appearance, and joined issue with
the major-domo in the prognostic, that with encourage-
ment and practice I should turn out a first-rate actor, and
make no little noise in the world. After we had diverted
ourselves for some time at the expense of my manager and
audience, I said to the bully — What shall we do with this
magnificent dress? Do not make yourself uneasy about
that, answered he. I know an honest broker, without an
atom of curiosity in his composition, who will buy or sell
anything with any person, provided that he gets the turn
of the market upon the transaction. I will fetch him to you
to-morrow morning. The knowing fellow was as good as
his word; for he went out early the next day, leaving me
in bed, and returned two hours afterwards with the broker,
carrying a yellow bundle under his arm. My friend, said
he, give me leave to introduce Signor Ybagnez of Segovia,
who, in spite of the bad example set him by the trade in
general, trusts to fair dealing and small profits for a mode-
rate pittance and an unblemished character. He will tell you
to a fraction what the dress you want to part with is really
worth, and you may take his calculation as the balance of
justice, between man and man. Oh yes ! to a nicety, said
the broker. Else wherefore live I in a Christian land,
but to appraise for my neighbour as for myself ? To take
a mean advantage never was, thank heaven ! and at these
years never shall be, imputed to Ybagnez of Segovia. Let
us look a little at those articles ! You are the seller ; I am
the buyer ! We have only to agree upon an equitable price.
Here they are, said the bully, pulling them out: now own
the truth, was there ever anything more magnificent ? You
do not often see such velvet: and then the trimming ! You
cannot say too much of it, answered the salesman, examin-
ing the suit with the prying eye of a dealer, it is of the very
first quality. And what think you of the pearls upon this
crown ? resumed my friend. A little rounder, observed
Ybagnez, and there would be no setting a price upon them !
however, take them as they are, it is a very fine set, and I
do not want to find fault about trifles. Now your common
run of appraisers, under my circumstances, would affect
to disparage the goods for the sake of getting them cheaper;
one of those fellows would have the conscience to offer
twenty pistoles; but there is nothing like bargaining

Commencement of Scipio's Story 267

with an upright, downright manl I will give forty at a
word ; take them or leave them !

Had Ybagnez ventured up to a hundred, he would not
have burned his fingers; for the pearls alone would have
fetched two hundred anywhere. The bully, who went
snacks, then said — Now only look! what a mercy it is, to
fall into the hands of a man not of this world. Signor
Ybagnez estimates money as dross, in comparison of his
principles and his soul. He may die to-night, and yet
not be taken unprepared ! That is too much ! You make
me blush, said the salesman of principle and soul; but so
far is true, that my price is always fixed. Well, now, is it
a bargain ? The money down upon the nail too ! Stop a
moment! answered the bully; my little friend must first
try on the clothes you have brought for him by my order : I
am very much mistaken if they will not just fit him. The
salesman then, untying his bundle, shewed me a second-hand
suit of dark cloth with silver buttons. I got up, and got
into it; too»big for me every way ! but these gentlemen could
have sworn it had been made to my measure. Ybagnez
put it at ten pistoles; and as he was an upright, down-
right man, of fixed principle and soul, estimating money
as dross in comparison of integrity, his first price was of
course his last. He therefore took out his purse, and
counted down thirty pistoles upon a table; after which he
packed up the King of Leon's regalia, and went his way.

When he was gone, the bully said — I am very well satis-
fied with that broker. And so he well might be ; for I am
certain he must have received at least a hundred pistoles
as hush-money. But there was no reason why the broker's
benevolence should pay the debts of my gratitude: so he
took half the money on the table, without saying with your
leave or by your leave, and suffered me to pocket the
remainder, with the following advice: My dear Scipio,
with that balance of fifteen pistoles, I would have you get
out of this town as fast as you can; for you may suppose
that my lord archbishop will ferret you out if you are above-
ground. It would grieve me to the heart if, after having
risen so superior to the prejudice of honesty, you had the
weakness to fall foul of what alone keeps it afloat, the
house of correction. I answered that it was my fixed
purpose to make myself scarce at Seville, and accordingly.

268 History of Gil Bias

after buying a hat and some shirts, I travelled through
vineyards and olive groves to the ancient city of Carmona;
and in three days afterwards arrived at Cordova.

I put up at an inn close by the market-place, giving
myself out for the heir of a good family at Toledo, travelling
for his pleasure. My appearance did not behe the story,
and a few pistoles, which I contrived carelessly to chink
within the landlord's hearing, pinned his faith upon my
veracity. Probably my unfledged youth might lead him
to take me for some graceless Httle truant who had robbed
his parents and run away. But that was no concern of his :
he took the thing just as I gave it him, for fear lest his
curiosity should clash with my continuance at his house.
For six reals a day one could live like a gentleman at this
inn, where there was generally a considerable concourse of
company. About a dozen people sat down at supper. It
was whimsical enough; but the whole party plied their
knives and forks without speaking a word, except one
man, who talked incessantly, right or wrong, and made up
for the silence of the rest by his eternal babble. He
affected to be a wit, to tell a good story, and took great
pains to make the good folks merry by his puns; and
accordingly they did laugh most inextinguishably; but it
was at him, not with him.

For my part, I paid so little attention to the talk of this
rattle, that I should have got up from table without know-
ing what it was all about, if he had not brought it home to
my business and my bosom. Gentlemen, cried he, just as
supper was over, I have kept back my best story for the
last; a very droll thing happened within these few days at
the archbishop of Seville's palace. I had it from a young
fellow of my acquaintance, who assures me that he was
present at the time. These words made my heart jump up
into my throat, for I had no doubt of this being my exploit
— and so it turned out. This pleasant gentleman related
the facts as they actually happened, and even carried the
adventure to its conclusion, of which I was as yet ignorant :
but now you shall be made as wise as myself.

No sooner had I absconded, than the Moors, who were,
according to the progress of the fable and the rising of the
interest, to lay violent hands on me, appeared upon the
stage, for the fell purpose of surprising me on my bed of

Commencement of Scipio's Story 269

turf, where the author had given them reason to expect me
fast asleep; but when they thought they were just going to
capot the King of Leon, they found, to their surprise, that
both the king and the knave made a trick against them.
Here was a hole in the ballad! The actors all lost their
cue; some of them called me by name, others ran to look
for me ; here is a fellow bawling as though his bellows would
burst, there stands another, m.uttering to himself about
the devil, just as if that reptile could stand upright in such
a presence! The archbishop, perceiving trouble and con-
fusion to lord it behind the scenes, asked what was the
matter. At the sound of the prelate's voice, a page, who
was the fiddle of the piece, came to the front and spoke
thus : My lord archbishop, ladies, and gentlemen ! We are
extremely sorry to inform you, as players, but extremely
glad, as men and Christians, that the King of Leon is at pre-
sent in no danger whatever of being taken prisoner by the
Moors: he has adopted effectual measures for the security
of his royal person ; and to the royal person, as hberty avails
httle without property, he has irrevocably attached the
crown, insignia, and robes. And a happy dehverance for
himself and Christendom! exclaimed the archbishop. He
has done perfectly right to escape from the enemies of
our reHgion, and to burst from the bonds in which their
malice would have laid him. By this time, probably, he
has reached the confines of his kingdom, or may have
entered the capital. May no unlucky accident have re-
tarded him on his journey! And that the sin of none
such may He heavy on my conscience, I beg leave very posi-
tively to make my pleasure known, that he may proceed
unmolested by any interruption from this quarter ; I should
be highly mortified indeed, if his majesty's pious endea-
vours were to be frustrated by the slightest indignity from
the ministers of that rehgion in whose cause he labours and
suffers. The prelate, having thus declared his acquies-
cence in the motives of my flight, ordered my part to be
read, and the play to be resumed.

270 History of Gil Bias

CHAPTER XI

CONTINUATION OF SCIPIO'S STORY

As long as I had money in my purse, my landlord was
cap in hand ; but the moment he began to suspect that the
funds were low, he became high and mighty, picked a
German quarrel with me, and one morning, before break-
fast, begged it as a favour of me to march out of his house.
I followed his counsel as proudly as you please, and betook
me to a church belonging to the fathers of St Dominic,
where, while mass was performing, an old beggar accosted
me on the usual topic of alms. I dropped some small
change into his hat, which was truly the orphan's mite,
saying at the same time: My friend, remember in your
prayers to mention a situation for me; if your petition is
heard with favour, it shall be all the better for you ; hearty
thanks, and a handsome poundage !

At these words, the beggar surveyed me up and down
from head to foot, and answered in a grave tone: What
place would you wish to have? I should like, replied I,
to be footman in some family where I should do well. He
inquired whether the matter pressed. With all possible
importunity, said I, for unless I have the good luck to get
settled very soon, the alternative will be horrible ; death by
the gripe of absolute famine, or a liveHhood in the ranks of
your fraternity. If the latter were, after all, to be your lot,
resumed he, it certainly would be rather hard upon you,
who have not been brought up to our habits of Hfe; but,
with a little use and practice, you would prefer our condition
to service, which, partiality apart, is far less respectable
than the beggar's vocation. Nevertheless, since you Hke
a menial occupation better than leading a free and inde-
pendent life like me, you shaU have a berth without more
ado. Mean as my appearance is, you must not measure
my power by it. Meet me here at the same hour to-
morrow.

I took care to keep the appointment. Though at the
spot before the time, I had not long to wait before the
beggar joined me, and told me to follow him. I did so.
He led me to a cellar not far from the church where he

Continuation of Scipio's Story 271

resided. We went in together; and sitting down on a
long bench, at least a hundred years the worse for wear,
the conversation took this turn on his part: A good action,
as the proverb says, always meets with its reward: you
gave me alms yesterday, and that has determined me to
get you a place, which shall be soon done, with a blessing
on my endeavours. I know an old Dominican, by name
Father Alexis, a holy monk, a ghostly confessor. I have
the honour to do all his little odd jobs, performing my task
with so much discretion and good faith, that he always
lends his interest to me and my friends. I have spoken
to him about you, and in such terms as to prepossess him
in your favour. You may be introduced to his reverence
whenever you please.

There is not a moment to be lost, said I to the old beggar ;
let us go to the good monk immediately. The mendicant
agreed, and led me by the arm to Father Alexis, whom we
found in his room, hard at work, writing spiritual letters.
He broke* off to talk with me. As it was the wish of the
mendicant, he would do all in his power to serve me.
Having learnt, pursued he, that Signor Balthasar Velas-
quez is in want of a footboy, I wrote to him this morning
on your behalf, and he just sent me for answer, that he
would take you without further inquiry on my recommen-
dation. This very day you may call on him from me ; he is
one of my flock, and my very good friend. Thereupon
the monk preached to me for three quarters of an hour
on my moral and religious duties, and how to fulfil them in
conscience and honour. He enlarged principally on the
obhgation of serving Velasquez with diligence and devotion ;
and then assured me that he would take care and keep me
in my place, provided my master had no very material
fault to find with me.

After having thanked the holy person for his goodness
towards me, I left the convent with the beggar, who told
me that Signor Balthasar Velasquez was an old wooUen-
draper, but with much simplicity and good nature in his
character. I doubt not, added he, but you will be perfectly
comfortable in his house. I begged to know his place of
residence, and repaired thither immediately, after pro-
mising to make my gratitude manifest, as soon as I had
taken root in my new soil. I went into a large shop, where

272 History of Gil Bias

two fashionable young apprentices were walking up and
down, practising new grimaces against the entrance of the
next customer. I inquired whether their master was at
home, saying that I wanted to speak with him from Father
Alexis. At that venerable name they shewed me into the
counting-house, where their principal was turning over
the ledger. I made a low bow, and coming up to him,
Sir, said I, Father Alexis ordered me to call here and offer
myself as a servant to your honour. Ah! my smart lad,
answered he, you are heartily welcome. It is enough that
the holy man sent you ; and I shall take you in preference to
three or four others who have been recommended. It is a
clear case ; your wages begin from this day.

A very short time in the family convinced me that the
head of it was just such a man as he had been described.
In point of simplicity, he was everything that could be
wished; so exquisite a subject for imposition, that it
seemed next to an impossibility not to exercise my craft
upon such a handle. He had been a widower four years,
and had two children, a son five-and- twenty, and a daughter
in her eleventh year. The girl, brought up by a severe
duenna, under the spiritual conduct of Father Alexis, walked
in the high road of virtue; but her brother, Gaspard Velas-
quez, though no pains had been spared to make a good
man of him, picked out for himself all the vices of a young
profligate. Sometimes he stayed away from home two or
three days together; and if, on his return, his father ven-
tured to remonstrate in the least against his proceedings,
Gaspard shut his mouth at once, with a haughty toss of the
head, and an impertinent answer.

Scipio, said the old man one day, my son is the plague
of my life. He is over head and ears in all kinds of de-
bauchery: and yet there is no accounting for it, since his
education was by no means neglected. I have given him
the very best masters; and my friend Father Alexis has
done his utmost to train him up in the way he should go;
but there was no breaking him in; Master Gaspard ran
restive, and bolted into downright libertinism. You may
perhaps tell me, that I spared the rod and spoiled the child.
Quite otherwise! he was punished whenever the occasion
seemed to dernand it; for, though good-tempered at bot-
tom, I am not to be played upon. I have even gone so far

Continuation of Scipio's Story 273

as to lock him up, but that only made him more head-
strong than before. In short, he is one of those imprac-
ticable beings, on whom good example, good advice, and a
good horsewhip, are equally thrown away. If ever he
makes any figure in the world, it must be by a miracle from
heaven.

Though my heart was not grievously wrung by the
sorrows of this unhappy father, sympathy was expected
from me, and I condoled with him accordingly. How much
to be pitied you are, sir! said I. Virtues Uke yours de-
served to have been handed down in your progeny. The
event is quite the reverse, my good lad, answered he.
Heaven heard my prayer, and gave me a son, but con-
verted the blessing into an affliction. Among other
grounds of complaint against Gaspard, I may tell you in
confidence, there is one which gives me a great deal of
uneasiness; a vast longing to rob his old father, which he
too often finds the means of satisf5dng, in spite of all my
caution. Your predecessor played into his hands, and was
turned away in consequence. As for you, I flatter myself
that my son will never be able to tamper with your hon-
esty. You will take my side of the question; for doubt-
less Father Alexis has given you your lesson on that head.
You may rest assured of that, said I ; for a good long hour
did his reverence lecture me on doing your will and plea-
sure without let or hindrance; but I can assure you, there
was no need of his saying anything about the matter. I
feel within myself a sort of call to serve you faithfully, and
I promise to do it with a zeal beyond all the temptations
of the world to shake or lessen.

He who only hears one side is in danger of deciding
partially. Young Velasquez, a mixture of the fribble and
the braggart, concluding from the cut of my countenance
that I was made up of mortal frailty hke my dear prede-
cessor, drew me aside to a snug corner, and there talked to
me after this fashion. Now mind what is said to you,
my dear fellow; you may think I do not know that you are
set as a spy upon me by my father; but take especial care
how you proceed, for I can assure you most sincerely, that
the office is not without very considerable inconvenience to
those who undertake it. If ever I find that you tell tales
out of school, I will give you such a basting as you never

274 History of Gil Bias

had in your life; but if you will make common cause with
me, and a fool of my father, you may buy golden returns of
gratitude from your humble servant. Do you wish me
to deal with you upon the nail ? You shall go snacks in
all that we can squeeze out of the old fellow. You have
only to take your choice: fall at once into the ranks either
of father or son ; for neutrals will come worst off, where the
contending parties fight for their existence.

Sir, answered I, you make the shoe pinch very tight;
it is self-evident that there is nothing for me to do but to
enlist under your banners, though in my conscience it seems
like a crying sin to betray Signor Velasquez. That is no
concern of yours, rejoined Gaspard; he is an old hunks,
who wants to keep me under this thumb; a curmudgeon
who refuses me the rights of nature, in refusing to stand
to the expenses and repairs of my pleasures; for pleasures
are the necessaries of life at five-and-twenty. It is in this
point of view that you must form your opinion of my
father. If that is the case, so be it, sir, said I; there is
no standing against so just a subject of complaint. I am
quite at your service to play second fiddle in all your laud-
able enterprises; but let us take especial care to conceal
our good understanding, for fear your faithful, humble
servant should be kicked out of doors. It wiU not be
amiss, in my poor opinion, for you to affect an extreme
antipathy against me: some good round of abuse would
have a very pretty effect; you need not be nice; all the
blackguard terms in the dictionary will come at your call.
Nay, a box on the ear now and then, or a kick on the breech,
will break no squares ; on the contrary, the more you express
your thorough dislike, the more Signor Balthasar will pin
his faith upon my sleeve. My cue will be, apparently to
avoid speaking to you if possible. In waiting at table,
I shall perform my httle attentions to you at arm's length;
and whenever your honour may happen to be called over
the coals by the shopmen, you must not take it amiss if I
abuse you worse than a pickpocket.

As plain as chalk from cheese! cried young Velasquez
at this last hint; this is admirable, my friend; at your
early age, it is uncommon to meet with such a talent for
intrigue; I consider it as a most happy omen for my pur-
pose. With such a performer to play up to me, I flatter

i

Continuation of Scipio's Story 275

myself the old codger will be pinched to the bone and left
penniless. You really carry your good opinion of me
beyond what my merit will justify, said I; some industry
may fall to my share, but not such exalted genius. But I
shall do my utmost ; and if my honest endeavours fail, your
candour must find excuses for my imbecility.

It was not long before Gaspard had proof positive that
I was to a hair's breadth the very man he wanted ; and the
following was precisely the first trick I played into his
hand. Balthasar's strong box was in the good man's
chamber, by his bed-side, a sort of oratory, with a prayer-
book always lying upon it. Every time I looked that way,
my eyes gHstened with hope and pleasure; my heart
chuckled over the very idea of what might happen: Fair,
sweet, cruel box, will you for ever be coy to my addresses ?
May I never experience the heart-felt delight of possessing
all your charms for better, for worse ? As I went into the
room at pleasure, and only Gaspard was warned off the pre-
mises, it haf)pened one day that I watched his father.
The old gentleman, fancying himself unobserved of human
eye, after having opened his treasury and closed it fast
again, hid the key behind the hangings. I took an accu-
rate observation of the place, and communicated the dis-
covery to my young master, who said with an improving
hug: Ah! my dear Scipio, what glorious news you bring!
Our fortune is made, my dear fellow. I wiU furnish you
with wax; you shall take the impression of the key, and
then our business is done. There will be no difficulty in
finding a benevolent locksmith in Cordova, where, to do
the place justice, there are as many rogues as in any part
of Spain.

Well ! but why, said I to Gaspard, do you want a false
key ? We may find our account in the proper one. Yes,
answered he; but I am afraid lest my father, through mis-
trust or whim, should take a fancy to hiding it elsewhere;
and the safest way is, to have one of our own. I com-
mended his precaution, and falling in with all his principles,
got ready for taking the impression of the key: this was
effected one morning early, while my old master was paying
a visit to Father Alexis, with whom he for the most part
held very long conferences. I did not stop here ; but availed
myself of the key to open the strong box, wherein an ample

276 History of Gil Bias

range of large and small bags threw me into the most
delightful perplexity imaginable. I did not know which
to choose, there was such a family likeness among them;
nevertheless, as the fear of being caught did not allow of
any long deliberation, I laid hands, hap-hazard, on the
largest. Then, locking the box carefully, and putting the
key back again behind the hangings, I got away out of the
chamber with my booty, and hid it under my bed, in a small
closet where I lay.

Having performed this exploit so successfully, I ran back
as fast as my legs would carry me to young Velasquez,
who was waiting at a house where he had given me notice
to meet him, and his delight was extreme at the recital of
what I had just done. He was so fully satisfied with me,
as to lavish caresses without number, and to offer me thrice,
in the fulness of his heart, half the contents of the bag, which I
did thrice refuse. No, no, sir, said I, this first bag is yours
and yours only ; apply it to your own uses and occasions. I
shall return forthwith to the strong box, where, as our lucky
stars have contrived it, there is money enough for both of
us. Accordingly, three days afterwards I carried off a
second bag, containing, like the first, five hundred crowns,
of which I would only handle the fourth part, let Gaspard
be as pressing as he pleased to force upon me a brotherly
division, share and share alike.

As soon as this young man found himself so flush of money,
and consequently in a condition to gratify his hankering
after women and play, he gave himself up entirely to the
devices of his own imagination ; nay, his evil genius pursued
him so far, as to make him fall desperately in love with one
of those female harpies, who devour without remorse or
intermission, and swallow up the largest fortunes. His
disbursements at her instigation were frightful; and thus
it became necessary for me to pay so many visits to the
strong box, that old Velasquez at length found out he
had been robbed. Scipio, said he one morning, I must
give you a piece of information; some one robs me, my
friend; my strong box has been opened; several bags have
been taken out, that is a certain fact. Whom ought I to
accuse of this theft? or rather, who else but my son can
have committed it? Gaspard must have got by stealth
into my chamber, or else you yourself must have played

Continuation of Scipio's Story 277

booty with him; for I am tempted to believe you are in
league with him, though to outward appearance you do
not set up yoiu- horses together. And yet I am unwilling
to harbour that suspicion, because Father Alexis under-
took to answer for your honesty. I gave him to under-
stand that, by the blessing of heaven on a good natural
disposition, my neighbours' goods had no temptation in
my sight ; and I so happily suited the action to the he, and
the he to the action, that my judge pronounced a verdict
of acquittal on the evidence of grimace and hypocrisy.

Accordingly the old man dropped the subject; but for
all that, there was a general misgiving in his breast, and
it would sometimes hght upon me; taking precautions,
therefore, against our further attacks, he had a new lock
put to his strong box, and always carried the key in his
pocket. By these means, an embargo being laid on our
traffic with the bags, we looked excessively foohsh, espe-
cially Gaspard, who, being unable any longer to keep his
nymph in h*er usual style, knew very well that he was likely
to be tossed out of her window. He had, however, inven-
tion enough to devise an expedient for keeping his head
above water a few days longer, and that was neither more
nor less than to get into his clutches, in the form of a loan,
my dividend on the joint stock of the strong box. I re-
funded to the last farthing; and this restitution, it is to be
hoped, may be set off as an anticipated act of justice to the
old draper, in the person of his heir.

The young man, having exhausted this scanty supply,
and desperate of any other, fell into a deep melancholy, and
into ultimate derangement. He no longer looked on his
father in any other hght than as the bane of his hfe. His
frenzy broke out into the most dreadful projects; so that,
without hstening to the voice of consanguinity or nature,
the wretch conceived the impious design of poisoning him.
He was not content with making me privy to the atro-
cious design, but even proposed to render me the instru-
ment of parricide. At the very thought, my blood ran cold
within me. Sir, said I, is it possible that you are so
rejected of heaven as to have formed this horrid plot?
What! is it in your nature to murder the author of your
existence? Shall Spain, the favoured abode of the Chris-
tian faith, bear witness to the commission of a crime, at the

278 History of Gil Bias

first blush of which transatlantic savages would recoil
with horror ? No, my dear master, added I, throwing my-
self on my knees, no, you will not be guilty of an action
which would raise the hand of all mankind against you, and
be overtaken by an infamous punishment.

I pressed many arguments beside on Gaspard, to dis-
suade him from so fearful an enterprise. How the deuce
I came by all the moral and reUgious topics, which I
brought to act against the fortress of his despair, is more
than I can account for ; but it is certain that I preached like
a doctor of Salamanca, though a mere striphng, born of a
gipsy fortune-teller. And yet it was to no purpose that I
suggested the duty of communing with his own better
resolutions, and stoutly wrestling with the fiend, who was
lying in wait for his immortal soul; my pious eloquence
was dissipated into air. His head hung sullenly on his
bosom, and his tongue uttered no sound, in answer to all
my mollifying exhortations, so that there was every reason
to conclude he would not swerve from his purpose.

Hereupon, taking my own measures, I requested a pri-
vate interview with my old master; and being closeted
with him, Sir, said I, allow me to throw myself at your
feet, and to implore your pity. In pathetic accord with
my moving accents, I prostrated myself before him, with
my face all bathed in tears. The merchant, surprised at
what he saw and heard, asked the cause of my distress.
Remorse of conscience and repentance, answered I; but
neither repentance nor remorse can ever wash out my guilt.
I have been weak enough to give ear to your son, and to
be his accompHce in robbing you. To this confession I
added a sincere acknowledgment of all that had hap-
pened, with the particulars of my late conversation with
Gaspard, whose design I laid open without the least
reserve.

Bad as was the opinion which old Velasquez entertained
of his son, he could scarcely believe his ears. Never-
theless, finding no good reason to distrust the truth of my
account, Scipio, said he, raising me from the ground, where
I had till now been prostrate at his feet, I forgive you in
consideration of the important notice you have communi-
cated. Gaspard! pursued he, raising his voice up to the
loudness of anguish, does Gaspard aim a blow at my Hfe !

Continuation of Scipio's Story 279

Ah ! ungrateful son, unnatural monster ! better thou hadst
never been bom, or stifled at thy birth, than to have been
reared for the destruction of thy father ! What plea, what
object, what palliation of the atrocious deed ? I furnished
thee annually with a reasonable allowance for thy plea-
sures, and what wouldst thou have more? Must I have
drained my fortune to the dregs to support thee in thy
extravagance? Having vented his feehngs in this bitter
apostrophe, he enjoined secresy on me, and told me to leave
him alone, while he considered how to act in so delicate a
conjuncture.

I was very anxious to know what resolution this un-
happy father would take, when on that very day he sent
for Gaspard, and addressed him thus without betraying
the inward emotions of his heart: My son, I have received a
letter from Merida, purporting that if you are disposed to
marry, you may make a match with a very fine girl of fifteen,
with a handsome fortune in her pocket. If you have not
forsworn t*hat happy and holy estate, we will set out to-
morrow morning by daybreak for Merida: you will see
the lady in question, and if she hits your fancy, the busi-
ness may soon be settled. Gaspard, pricking up his
ears at a handsome fortune, and already fingering the cash
by anticipation, answered unhesitatingly that he was ready
to undertake the journey; and accordingly they departed
the following day at sun-rise, without attendants, mounted
on good mules.

Having reached the mountains of Fesira, in a delightful
spot for the operations of banditti, but terror-stirring to the
timid souls of travellers, Balthasar dismounted, and de-
sired his son to do likewise. The young man obeyed, but
expressed his surprise at such a requisition, in so lonely a
place. I will tell you the reason presently, answered the
old man, darting at him a look of mingled grief and anger:
We are not going to Merida ; and the alleged courtship was
only an invention of mine, for the purpose of drawing you
hither. I am not ignorant, ungrateful and unnatural son,
I am not uninformed of your meditated crime. I am aware
that a poison, prepared by your hands, was to have been
administered to me; but, mad as you are, could it enter
into your contemplation that my hfe could have been
invaded with impunity by such means ? How fatally mis-

28o History of Gil Bias

taken! Your crime would soon have been detected, and
you would have perished under the hands of the execu-
tioner. There is a safer way of glutting your fell malice,
without exposing yourself to an ignominious death; we are
here without witnesses, and in a place where daily mur-
ders are perpetrated; since you are so thirsty after my
blood, plunge your dagger into my bosom: the assassina-
tion will naturally be laid at the door of some banditti.
After these words, Balthasar, laying his breast bare, and
pointing to his heart, ended with this challenge : Here, Gas-
pard, strike deep enough, strike home; make me pay that
forfeit for having engendered such a disgrace to human
nature, and no more than what is due to so monstrous a
production.

Young Velasquez, struck by this reproach as by a thun-
derbolt, far from pleading in his own justification, fell
instantly lifeless at his father's feet. The good old man,
hailing the germ of repentance in this unfeigned testimony
of shame, could not help yielding to paternal weakness;
he made all possible haste to give his assistance; but
Gaspard had no sooner recovered the use of his senses,
than unable to stand in the presence of a father so justly
offended, he made an effort to raise himself from the
ground, then sprang upon his mule, and galloped out of
sight without saying one word. Balthasar suffered him to
take his own course, and returned to Cordova, little doubt-
ing but conscience would play its part in revenging his
wrongs. Six months afterwards it appeared that the cul-
prit had thrown himself into the Carthusian convent at
Seville, there to pass the remnant of his days in penance.

CHAPTER Xn

CONCLUSION OF SCIPIO'S STORY

Bad example sometimes produces the converse of itself.
The behaviour of young Velasquez made me think seriously
on my own predicament. I began to wrestle with my
thievish propensities, and to live like one of the better sort.
A confirmed habit of pouncing upon money wherever I
could get it, had been contracted by such a long succession

Conclusion of Scipio's Story 281

of individual acts, that it was no easy matter to say where
it should stop. And yet I was in hopes to accomplish my
own reformation, under the idea that to become virtuous
a man had nothing to do but to contract the desire of being
so. I therefore undertook this great work, and heaven
seemed to smile upon my efforts: I left off eyeing the old
draper's strong box with the carnal regard of avaricious
longing: nay, I verily believe, that if it had depended on my
own will and pleasure to have turned over the contents to
my own use, I should have abstained from the crime of pick-
ing and stealing. It must, however, be admitted, that
it would have been an unadvisable measure to tempt my
new-bom integrity with meats too strong for its stomach:
and Velasquez was nurse enough to keep me on a proper
diet.

Don Manriquez de Medrano, a young gentleman, knight
of Alcantara, was in the habit of coming backwards and
forwards to our house. He was a customer, one of our
principal in. point of rank, if not punctual in point of pay.
I had the happiness to find favour with this knight, who
never met me without that sort of notice which encouraged
conversation, and with that conversation he appeared
always to be very much pleased. Scipio, said he, one day,
if I had a footman of your kidney, it would be as good as a
fortune to me, and if you were not in the service of a man
who stands so high in my regards, I should make no scruple
about enticing you away. Sir, answered I, you would have
very little trouble in succeeding ; for I am distractedly partial
to people of fashion ; it is my weak side ; their free and easy
manners fascinate me to the extreme of folly. That being
the case, replied Don Manriquez, I will at once beg Signer
Balthasar to turn you over from his household to mine:
he will scarcely refuse me such a request. Accordingly
Velasquez was kind and complying, with so much the less
violence to his own private feelings, as there seemed no
reason to think, that if a man parted with one knavish
servant, he might not easily get another in his place. To
me the change was all for the better, since a tradesman's
service appeared but a beggarly condition in comparison
with the office of own man to a knight of Alcantara.

To draw a faithful hkeness of my new master, I must
describe him as a gentleman possessing every requisite

282 History of Gil Bias

of person, figure, manners, and disposition. Nor was that
all; for his courage and honour were equal to his other
qualities : the goods of fortune were the only good things he
wanted, but being the younger son of a family more dis-
tinguished by descent than opulence, he was obliged to
draw for his expenses on an old aunt living at Toledo,
who loved him as her own child, and administered to his
occasions with affectionate liberality. He was always well
dressed, and everywhere well received. He visited the
principal ladies in the city, and among others the Mar-
chioness of Almenara. She was a widow of seventy-two,
but the centre of attraction to all the fashionable society
of Cordova, by the elegance of her manners and the spright-
liness of her conversation : men as well as women laid them-
selves out for an introduction, because her parties con-
ferred at once on the frequenters the patent of good com-
pany.

My master was one of that lady's most assiduous cour-
tiers. After leaving her one evening, his spirits seemed to
be more elevated than was natural to him. Sir, said I,
you are evidently in a good deal of agitation; may your
faithful servant ask on what account? Has anything
happened out of the common way? The young gallant
smiled at so home a question, and owned candidly that he
had just been engaged in a serious conversation with the
Marchioness of Almenara. I will lay a wager, said I,
laughing outright, that this moppet of threescore and ten,
this girl in her second childhood, has been unfolding to
you all the secret movements of a tender, susceptible heart.
Do not make a jest of it, answered he; for the fact is, my
friend, that the Marchioness is seriously in love with me.
She told me that the narrowness of my circumstances was
as well known to her as the nobility of my birth; that she
had taken a liking to me, and was determined to place me
at my ease by marriage, since she could not decently lay
her fortune at my feet on any other terms. That this
marriage would expose her to public ridicule, she pro-
fessed to have considered; that scandal would be busy
at her expense ; in short, that she should pass for an old fool
with an ambitious eye and a liquorish constitution. No
matter for that ! She was not to be awed from the career of
her humour by quips and sentences: her only alarm was.

Conclusion of Scipio's Story 283

lest I should either make sport of her intentions, or tor-
ment her more grievously by my aversion.

Such, continued the knight, was the substance of the
Marchioness's declaration, and I am the more astonished at
it, because she is the most prudent and sensible woman in
Cordova; wherefore I answered by expressing my surprise
at her honouring me with the offer of her hand, since she
had hitherto persisted in her resolution of remaining in a
state of widowhood. To this she replied, that having a
considerable fortune, it would give her pleasure to share
it in her life-time with a man of honour to whom she was
attached. To all appearance then, rejoined I, you have
made up your mind to take a lover's leap. Can you doubt
about that ? answered he. The Marchioness is immensely
rich, with excellent qualities both of head and heart. It
would be the extreme of folly and fastidiousness to let so
advantageous a settlement slip through my fingers.

I entirely approved my master's purpose of profiting
by so fine ^n opportunity to make his fortune, and even
advised him to bring the matter to a short issue, for fear
of a change in the wind. Happily the lady had the busi-
ness more at heart than myself; her orders were given so
effectually, that the necessary forms and ceremonies were
soon got over. When it became known in Cordova that
the old Marchioness of Almenara was getting herself ready
to be the bride of young Don Manriquez de Medrano, the
wits began breaking their odd quirks and remnants in
derision of the widow; but though she heard her own de-
tractions, she did not put them to mending; the town
might talk as they pleased; for when she said she would
die a widow, she did not think to live till she were mar-
ried. The wedding was solemnized with a publicity and
splendour which furnished fresh food for evil tongues. The
bride, said they, might at least have had the modesty to
dispense with noise and ostentation, so unbecoming in an
old widow who marries a young husband.

The Marchioness, far enough from yielding to the sug-
gestions of shame at her own inconsistency, or the dis-
parity of their ages, yielded herself up without constraint
to the expression of the most lively joy. She gave a grand
concert and supper, with a ball afterwards, and invited
all the principal famiHes in Cordova. Just before the

284 History of Gil Bias

close of the ball, the new-married couple disappeared, and
were shewn to an apartment, where, with no other wit-
nesses but her own maid and myself, she spoke to my
master in these terms: — Don Manriquez, this is your
apartment; mine is in another part of the house: we will
pass the night in separate rooms, and will live together by
day like mother and son. At first the knight did not know
what to make of this; he thought that the lady was only
trying his temper, as if her coldness must be wooed to
kindness, and her love, like her pardon, not unsought, be
won. Imagining, therefore, that good manners required,
at least, the shew of passion, he made his advances, and
offered, according to the laws of amorous suit enacted in
such cases, to assist in the disencumbering duties of her
toilet; but, so far from allowing him to interfere with the
province of her servant, she pushed him back with a serious
air, saying: Hold, Don Manriquez; if you take me for one
of those sweet-toothed old women who marry a second
time from mere incontinence, you do me a manifest in-
justice: my proposals were not fraught with conditions of
hard service as the tenure of our nuptial contract; the gift
of my heart was unmixed with sensual dross, and your
gratitude is only drawn upon for returns of pure and pla-
tonic friendship. After this explanation, she left my
master and me in our apartment, and withdrew to her
own with her attendant, forbidding the bridegroom, in the
most positive manner, to attempt retiring with her.

After her departure, it was some time before we re-
covered from our surprise at what we had just heard.
Scipio, said my master, could you ever have beheved that
the Marchioness would have talked in such a strain?
What think you of so philosophic a bride? I think, sir,
answered I, that she is a phenix among the brood of Hymen.
It is for all the world like a good Hving without parochial
duties. For my part, replied Don Manriquez, there is
nothing so much to my taste as a wife of modest preten-
sions; and I mean to make her amends for the trophy
she has raised to unadulterated esteem, by all the deli-
cate attentions in my power to pay. We kept up the sub-
ject of the lady's moderation till it was full time to sepa-
rate. My quarters were fixed in an ante-room with a
book-case bedstead; my master's in an elegant bed-

Conclusion of Scipio*s Story 285

chamber with every appurtenance except one: but how-
ever necessary it might be to play the disappointed bride-
groom, I am much mistaken if in the bottom of his soul
he was half so much afraid of sleeping by himself as of
being encumbered with a bed-fellow.

The rejoicings began again on the following day, and
the bride was so jocund on the occasion, that the bolts
of the fools among her visitors were not soon shot. She
was the first to laugh at all their pointless jokes; nay, she
even set the little wits to work, by giving them an example
of pleasantry, which they were very Uttle able to follow.
The happy man, on his part, seemed to be very little less
happy than his partner; and one would have sworn, judg-
ing by the glance of satisfaction which accompanied his
language and deportment, that he Uked mutton better
than lamb. This well-matched pair had a second con-
versation in the evening; and then it was decided that
without interfering in the least with one another, they
should live together just on the same footing as they had
lived before marriage. At all events, much credit must
be given to Don Manriquez on one account: he did, from
deUcate consideration towards his wife, what few husbands
would have done under his circumstances, for he dis-
carded a little sempstress of whom he was very fond, and
who was very fond of him, because he did not choose to keep
up a connection insulting to the feelings of a lady so stu-
dious of his.

While he was furnishing such unusual testimonies of gra-
titude to his elderly benefactress, she over paid and doubly
paid her debt of obligation, even without diving into its
nature or extent. She gave him the master key of her
strong box, which was better provided than that of Velas-
quez. Though she had reduced her estabhshment during
widowhood, it was now replaced upon the same footing
as in the Hfetime of her first husband; the complement
of household servants was enlarged, the stud and equip-
ages were in the very first style; in a word, by her gene-
rosity and kindness, the most beggarly knight belonging to
the order of Alcantara became the most monied member
of the fraternity. You may perhaps be disposed to ask
me, how much I was in pocket by afl that; and my answer
is, fifty pistoles from my mistress, and a hundred from

286 History of Gil Bias

my master, who, moreover, appointed me his secretary,
with a salary of four hundred crowns; nay, his confidence
was so unbounded, that I was fixed on to fill the office of
treasurer.

Treasurer ! cried I, interrupting Scipio at the very idea,
and bursting into an immoderate fit of laughter. Yes, sir,
replied he, with a cool, unffinching seriousness; you are
perfectly right, treasurer was the word ; and I may venture
to say that the duties of the office were executed without
the slightest occasion for a committee of inquiry. True
it is that the balance may be somewhat against me, for
I was always in the habit of overdrawing my wages; and
as the firm was dissolved somewhat suddenly, it is by no
means impossible that the balance of my cash account
might be on the wrong side: but, at all events, it was my
last slip; and since that time my ways have been ways of
uprightness and honesty.

Thus was I, continued this son of a gipsy, secretary
and treasurer to Don Manriquez, who, to all appearance,
was as happy in me as I in him, when he received a letter
from Toledo, announcing that his aunt. Donna Theodora
Moscoso, was on her last legs. He was so much affected
by the news, as to set out instantly and pay his duty to
that lady, who had been more than a mother to him for seve-
ral years. I attended him on the journey with only two
under-servants ; we were all mounted on the best horses
in the stable, and reached Toledo without loss of time,
where we found Donna Theodora in a state to warrant our
hopes that she would not, at present, weigh anchor on her
outward bound voyage; and, in fact, our judgment on
her case, though point blank in contradiction to that of
an old physician who attended her, proved by the event
that we knew at least as much of the matter as he did.

While the health of our venerable relative was improving
from day to day, less, perhaps, from the effect of the pre-
scriptions than in consequence of her dear nephew's pre-
sence, your worthy friend the treasurer passed his time in
the pleasantest manner possible, with some young people
whose acquaintance was admirably calculated to ventilate
the confined cash in his pocket. Sometimes they enticed
me to the tennis-court, and took me in for a game: on
those occ£Lsions, not being quite so steady a player as my

Conclusion of Scipio's Story 287

master, Don Abel, I lost much oftener than I won. By
degrees play become a passion with me; and if the taste
had been suffered to gain complete possession, it would
doubtless have laid me under the necessity of drawing bills
of accommodation on the family bank; but happily love
stepped in, and saved the credit both of the bank and of
my principles. One day, passing along near the church
of the Epiphany, I espied through a lattice with the drapery
drawn up, a young girl who might well be called a thing
divine, for nothing natural was ever seen so lovely. I
would lay on my compliment still thicker, if words were
not wanting to express the effect of her first appearance
upon my mind. I set my wits to work, and by dint of dili-
gent inquiry, learned that her name was Beatrice, and
that she was waiting-maid to Donna Juha, younger
daughter of the Count de Polan.

Beatrice broke in upon the thread of Scipio's story by
laughing immoderately: then, directing her speech to my
wife, Charm;ng Antonia, said she, do but just look at
me, I beseech you, and then say truly, whether I could be
likened to a thing divine. You might at that time, to my
enamoured sight, said Scipio; and, since your conjugal
faith is no longer under a cloud, my visual appetite in-
creases by what it feeds on. It was a pretty compli-
ment! and my secretary, having fired it off, pursued his
narrative as follows.

This intelligence kindled the flame of passion within
me; but not, it must be confessed, a flame which could be
acknowledged without a blush. I took it for granted that
my triumph over her scruples would be easy if my biddings
were high enough to command the ordinary market of
female chastity; but Beatrice was a pearl beyond price.
In vain did I solicit her, through the chajinel of some
intriguing gossips, with the offer of my purse and of my
most tender attentions; she rejected all my proposals with
disdain. I had recourse to the lover's last remedy, and
offered her my hand, which she deigned to accept on the
strength of my being secretary and treasurer to Don
Manriquez. As it seemed expedient to keep our marriage
secret for some time, the ceremony was performed privately,
in presence of Dame Lorenza Sephora, Seraphina's gover-
ness, and before some others of the Count de Polan's

2 88 History of Gil Bias

household. After our happy union, Beatrice contrived
the means of our meeting by day, and passing some part
of every night together in the garden, whither I repaired
through a Httle gate of which she gave me a key. Never
were man and wife better pleased with each other than
Beatrice and myself: with equal impatience did we watch
for the hour of our appointment; with congenial emotions
of eager sensibility did we hasten to the spot, and the
moments which we passed together, though countless from
their number in the calendar of cold indifference, to us were
few and fleeting, in comparison with that eternity of mutual
bliss for which we panted.

One night, a. night which should be expunged from the
almanac, a night of darkness and despair, contrasted with
the brightness of all our former nights, I was surprised on
approaching the garden, to find the Httle gate open. This
unusual circumstance alarmed me; for it seemed to augur
something inauspicious to my happiness: I turned pale
and trembled, as if with a foreknowledge of what was
going to happen. Advancing in the dark towards a bower,
where our private meetings had usually taken place, I
heard a man's voice. I stopped on the instant to listen,
when the following words struck Uke the sound of death
upon my ear: Do not keep me languishing in suspense, my
dear Beatrice; make my happiness complete, and con-
sider that your own fortunes are closely connected with
mine. Instead of having patience to hear further, it
seemed as if more had been said than blood could expiate ;
that devil, jealousy, took possession of my soul; I drew
my sword, and breathing only vengeance, rushed into
the bower. Ah ! base seducer, cried I, whoever you are, you
shall tear this heart from out my breast, rather than touch
my honour on its tenderest point. With these words on
my lips, I attacked the gentleman who was talking with
Beatrice. He stood upon his guard without more ado,
like a man much better acquainted with the science of
arms than myself, who had only received a few lessons
from a fencing-master at Cordova. And yet, strong as
his sword-arm was, I made a thrust which he could not
parry, or what is more hkely, his foot slipped: I saw
him fall; and fancying that I had wounded him mor-
tally, ran away as hard as my legs could carry me, without

Conclusion of Scipio's Story 289

deigning to answer Beatrice, who would have called me
back.

Yes, indeed! said Scipio's wife, resolved to have her
share in the development of the story; I called out for the
purpose of undeceiving him. The gentleman conversing
with me in the arbour was Don Ferdinand de Leyva.
This nobleman, who was in love with my mistress JuHa,
had laid a plan for running away with her, from despair
of being able to obtain her hand by any other means;
and I had myself made this assignation with him in the
garden, to concert measures for the elopement, and with
his fortune he assured me that my own was closely linked ;
but it was in vain that I screamed after my husband;
he darted from me as if my very touch were contamination.
In such a state of mind, resumed Scipio, I was capable
of anything. Those who know by experience what jealousy
is, into what extravagance it drives the best-regulated spi-
rits, will be at no loss to conceive the disorder it must have
pr^ iuced in my weak brain. I passed in a moment from
r extreme to another: emotions of hatred succeeded in-
ttaneously to all my former sentiments of affection fo^'
wife. I took an oath never to see her more, and to banisl^
for ever from my memory. Besides, the supposed death
man lay upon my conscience; and under that idea, i
afraid of falling into the hands of justice; so that
y torment which could be accumulated on the head of
t and misery by the fury of despair and the demon of
orse, was the remediless companion of my wretched
it. In this dreadful situation, thinking only of my
pe, I returned home no more, but immediately quitted
;do, with no other provision for my journey but the
ci. hes on my back. It is true, I had about sixty pistoles
in my pocket; a tolerable supply for a young man, whose
views in hfe pointed no higher than a good service.

I walked forward all night, or rather ran, for the phantom
of an alguazil always dogging me at the heels made me per-
form wonders of pedestrian activity. The dawn overtook
me between Rodillas and Maqueda. When I was at the latter
town, finding myself a httle weary, I went into the church
which was just opened, and having put up a short prayer,
sat down on a bench to rest. I began musing on the state
of my affairs, which were sufficiently out at elbows to ra-
il L

290 History of Gil Bias

quire all my skill in patch-work, but the time for reflection
as well as for repentance were cut short. The church echoed
on a sudden with three or four smacks of a whip, which
made me conclude that some carrier was on the road. I
immediately got up to go and see whether I was right or
wrong. At the door I found a man, mounted on a mule,
leading two others by the halter. Stop, my friend, said I,
whither are those two mules going ? To Madrid, answered
he. I came hither with two good Dominicans, and am now
setting out on my return.

Such an opportunity of going to Madrid gave me an
itching desire for the expedition: I made my bargain with
the muleteer, jumped upon one of his mules, and away we
scampered towards lUescas, where we were to put up for
the night. Scarcely were we out of Maqueda before the
muleteer, a man from five-and-thirty to forty, began chant-
ing the church service with a most collegiate twang. This
trial of his lungs began with matins, in the drowsy tone of a
canon between asleep and awake; then he roared out the
Belief, alternately in contralto, tenor, and bass, in all the
'harmonious confusion of high mass; and not content with
hhat, he rang the bell for vespers, without sparing me a
>single petition or so much as a bar of the magnificat. Though
"•the scoundrel almost cracked the drum of my ear, I could
not help laughing heartily; and even egged him on to make
the welkin reverberate with his hallelujahs, when the
anthem was suspended a few rests, for the necessary
purpose of supplying wind to the organ. Courage, my
friend ! said I ; go on and prosper. If heaven has given you
a good capacious throat, you are neither a niggard nor a
perverter of its precious boon. Oh! certainly not for the
matter of that, cried he ; happily for my immortal soul, I am
not Hke carriers in general, who sing nothing but profane
songs about love or drinking : I do not even defile my Hps with
ballads on our wars against the Moors: such subjects are at
least light and unedifying, if not Hcentious and impure.
You have, repHed I, an evangehcal purity of heart which
belongs only to the elect among muleteers. With this ex-
cessive squeamishness of yours about the choice of your
music, have you also taken a vow of continence, wherever
there is a young bar-maid to be picked up at an inn?
Assuredly, rejoined he, chastity is also a virtue by which it

Conclusion of Scipio's Story 291

is my pride to ward off the temptations of the road, where
my only business is to look after my mules. I was in no small
degree astonished at such pious sentiments from this pro-
digy of psalm-singing mule-drivers; so that looking upon
him as a man above the vanities and corruptions of this
nether world, I fell into chat with him after he had gone the
length of his tether in singing.

We got to lUescas late in the day. On entering the inn-
yard, I left the care of the mules to my companion, and went
into the kitchen, where I ordered the landlord to get us a
good supper, which he promised to perform so much to my
satisfaction, as to make me remember all the days of my
Hfe what usage travellers meet with at his house. As,
added he, now only ask your carrier what sort of a man I am.
By all the powers of seasoning ! I would defy the best cook
in Madrid or Toledo to make an olio at all to be compared to
mine. I shall treat you this evening with some stewed
rabbit after a receipt of my own ; you will then see whether
it is any boast to say that I know how to send up a supper.
Thereupon, shewing me a stewpan with a young rabbit, as
he said, cut up into pieces: There, continued he, is what I
mean to favour you with. When I shall have thrown in a
little pepper, some salt, wine, a handful of sweet herbs, and
a few other ingredients which I keep for my own sauces, you
may depend on sitting down to such a dish as would not
disgrace the table of a chancellor or an archbishop.

The landlord, having thus done justice to his own merits,
began to work upon the materials he had prepared. While
he was labouring in his vocation, I went into a room, where
lying down on a sort of couch, I fell fast asleep through
fatigue, having taken no rest the night before. In the
space of about two hours, the muleteer came and awakened
me, with the information that supper was ready, and a
pressing request to take my place at table. The cloth was
laid for two, and we sat down to the hashed rabbit. I
played my knife and fork most manfully, finding the flavour
delicious, whether from the force of hunger in communicat-
ing a candid mode of interpretation to my palate, or from
the natural effect of the ingredients compounded by the
cook. A joint of roast mutton was next served up. It
was remarkable that the carrier only paid his respects to
this last article; and I asked him why he had not taken his

292 History of Gil Bias

share of the other. He answered with a suppressed smile,
that he was not fond of made dishes. This reason, or rather
the turn of countenance with which it was alleged, seemed
to imply more than was expressed. You have not told me,
said I, the real meaning of your not eating the fricassee: do
have the goodness to explain it at once. Since you are so
curious to be made acquainted with it, replied he, I must
own that I have an insuperable aversion to cramming my
stomach with meats in masquerade, since one evening at an
inn on the road between Toledo and Cuenga, they served me
up, instead of a wild rabbit, a hash of tame cat; enough, of
all conscience, ever after to set my intestines in battle-
array against all minces, stews, and force-meats.

No sooner had the muleteer let me into this secret, than
in spite of the hunger which raged within me, my appetite
left me completely in the lurch. I conceived, in all the
horrors of extreme loathing, that I had been eating a cat
dressed up as the double of a rabbit; and the fricassee had
no longer any power over my senses, except by producing a
strong inchnation to retch. My companion did not lessen
my tendency that way, by teUing me that the inn-keepers in
Spain, as well as the pastry-cooks, were very much in the
habit of making that substitution. The drift of the con-
versation was, as you may perceive, very much in the nature
of a lenitive to my stomach ; so much so, that I had no mind
to meddle any more with the dish of undefinables, nor even
to make an attack upon the roast meat, for fear the mutton
should have performed its duty by deputy as well as the
rabbit. I jumped up from table, cursing the cookery, the
cook, and the whole establishment; then, throwing myself
down upon the sofa, I passed the night with less nausea than
might reasonably have been expected. The day following
with the dawn, after having paid the reckoning with as
princely an air as if we had been treated hke princes, away
went I from lUescas, bearing my faculties so strongly im-
pregnated with fricassee, that I took every animal which
crossed the road, of whatever species or dimensions, for a cat.

We got to Madrid betimes, where I had no sooner settled
with my carrier than I hired a ready-furnished lodging near
the Sun-gate. My eyes, though accustomed to the great
world, were nevertheless dazzled by the concourse of
nobility which was ordinarily seen in the quarter of the

Conclusion of Scipio's Story 293

court. I admired the prodigious number of carriages, and
the countless list of gentlemen, pages, gentlemen's gentlemen,
and plain, downright footmen in the train of the grandees.
My admiration exceeded all bounds, on going to the king's
levee, and beholding the monarch in the midst of his court.
The effect of the scene was enchanting, and I said to myself.
It is no wonder they should say that one must see the court
of Madrid to form an adequate idea of its magnificence : I am
delighted to have directed my course hither, and feel a sort
of prescience within me that I shall not come away without
taking fortune by surprise. I caught nothing napping,
however, but my own prudence, in making some thriftless,
expensive acquaintance. My money oozed away in the
rapid thaw of my propriety and better judgment, so that it
became a measure of expedient degradation to throw away
my transcendant merit on a pedagogue of Salamanca, whom
some family lawsuit or other concern had brought to Madrid,
where he was bom, and where chance, more whimsical than
wise, thrust me within the horizon of his knowledge. I
became his right hand, his prime principal agent; and
dogged him at the heels to the university when he returned
• thither.

My new employer went by the name of Don Ignacio de
Ipigna. He furnished himself with the handle of don, inas-
much as he had been tutor to a nobleman of the first rank,
who had recompensed his early services with an annuity for
life: he likewise derived a snug httle salary from his pro-
fessorship in the university; and in addition to all this, laid
the public under a yearly contribution of two or three
hundred pistoles for books of uninstructive morality, which
he protruded from the press periodically by weight and
measure. The manner in which he worked up the shreds
and patches of his composition deserves a notice somewhat
more than cursory. The heavy hours of the forenoon were
spent in muzzing over Hebrew, Greek, and Latin authors,
and in wTiting down upon httle squares of card every pithy
sentence or striking thought which occurred in the morning's
reading. According to the progress of this literary Pam, in
winning tricks from the ancients, he employed me to score up
his honours in the form of an Apollo's wreath : these meta-
physical garlands were strung upon wire, and each garland
made a pocket volume. What an execrable hash of whole-

294 History of Gil Bias

some viands did we cook up! The commandments set at
loggerheads with an utter confusion of tables; Epicurean
conclusions grafted on stoical premises! Tully quoting
Epictetus, and Seneca supporting his antitheses on the
authority of monkish rhyme! Scarcely a month elapsed
without our putting forth at least two volumes, so that the
press was kept continually groaning under the weight of our
transgressions. What seemed most extraordinary of all, was
that theseliterary larcenies were palmed upon the purchasers
for spick and span new wares, and if, by any strange and
improbable chance, a thick-headed critic should stumble
with his noddle smack against some palpable plagiarism, the
author would plead guilty to the indictment, and make a
merit of serving up at second-hand

What Gellius or Stobaeus hash'd before.

Though chewed by bhnd old scholiasts o'er and o'er.

He was also a great commentator; and filled his notes chuck
full of so much erudition, as to multiply whole pages of dis-
cussion upon what homely common-sense would have con-
signed to the brief alternative of a query:

Disputes of Me or Te, or Aut at At,
To sound or sink in cano O or A,
Or give up Cicero to C or K.

As almost every author, ethical and didactic, from Hesiod
down to himself, took his turn to dangle on some one or
other of our manuscript garlands, it was impossible for me
not to suck in somewhat of sage nurture from so copious a
stream of philosophy : it would be rank ingratitude to shift
off my obligation. My hand-writing also became strictly
and decidedly legible, by dint of continual transcription;
my estate was more that of a pupil than of a servant, and
my morals were not neglected, while my mind was poHshed,
and my faculties raised above their former level. Scipio, he
used to say, when he chanced to hear of any serving lad with
more cunning than honesty in his dealings, beware, my good
boy, how you take after the evil example of that graceless
villain. " The honour of a servant is his fidehty ; his highest
virtues are submission and obedience. Be studious of thy
master's interests, be dihgent in his affairs, and faithful to

Conclusion of Scipio's Story 295

the trust which he reposeth in thee. Thy time and thy
labour belong unto him. Defraud him not thereof, for he
payeth thee for them." To sum up all, Don Ignacio lost no
opportunity of leading me on in the path of virtue, and his
prudent counsels sank so deep into my heart, as to keep
under anything like even the slightest wish of playing him
a rogue's trick during the fifteen months which I spent in
his service.

I have already mentioned that Doctor de Ipigna was a
native of Madrid. He had a relation there, by name Cata-
hna, waiting-maid to the lady who officiated as nurse to the
heir-apparent. This abigail, the same through whose inter-
vention I got Signor de Santillane released from the tower of
Segovia, intent on rendering a service to Don Ignacio, pre-
vailed with her mistress to petition the Duke of Lerma for
some preferment. The minister named him for the arch-
deaconry of Grenada, which, as a conquered country, is in
the king's gift. We repaired immediately to Madrid on
receiving the intelligence, as the doctor wished to thank his
patronesses before he took possession of his benefice. I had
more than one opportunity of seeing Catalina, and con-
versing with her. The cheerful turn of my temper and a
certain easy air of good company were altogether to her
taste ; for my part, I found her so much to my liking, that I
could not help saying yes to the little advances of partiality
which she made in my favour : in short, we got to feel very
kindly towards each other. You must not write a comment
with your nails, my dear Beatrice, on this episode in the
romance of my amours, because I was firmly persuaded of
your inconstancy, and you will allow that heresy, though
impious, being also blind, my penance may reasonably be
remitted on sincere conversion.

In the mean time Doctor Ignacio was making ready to
set out for Grenada. His relation and myself, out of our
wits at the impending separation, had recourse to an ex-
pedient which rescued us from its horrors: I shammed illness,
complained of my head, complained of my chest, and made
a characteristic wry face for every pain and ache in the
catalogue of human infirmities. My master called in a
physician, who told me with a grave face, after putting his
questions in the usual course, that my complaint was of a
much more serious nature than might appear to unpro-

296 History of Gil Bias

fessional observation, and that, according to all present like-
lihood, I should keep my chamber a long time. The doctor,
impatient to take possession of his preferment, did not think
it quite so well to delay his departure, but chose rather to
hire another boy ; he therefore contented himself with hand-
ing me over to the care of a nurse, with whom he left a sum
of money to bury me if I should die, or to remunerate me for
my services if I should recover.

As soon as I knew Don Ignacio to be safe on the road
for Grenada, I was cured of all my maladies. I got up,
made my final bow to the physician who had evinced so
thorough a knowledge of my case, and fairly turned my
nurse out of doors, who made her retreat good with bag-
gage and ammunition, to the amount of more than half
the sum for which she ought to have accounted with me.
While I was enacting the sick man, Catahna was playing
another part about the person of her mistress. Donna
Anna de Guevra, into whose conception having by dint of
many a wordy process inserted the notion, that I was the
man of all others ready cut and dry for an intrigue, she
induced her to choose me for one of her agents. The
royal and most catholic nurse, whose genius for great under-
takings was either produced or exasperated by the love
of great possessions, having occasion for suitable ministers,
received me among her hangers-on, and lost no oppor-
tunity of ascertaining how far I was for her purpose. She
confided some commissions to my care, which, vanity
apart, called for no little address, and what they called for
was ready at hand: accordingly, she gave me all possible
credit for the diHgent execution of my office, while my
discontent swelled high against her for fobbing me off
with the cold recompense of approbation. The good lady
was so abominably avaricious, as not to give me a working
partner's share in the profits of my industry, nor to allow
for the wear and tear of my conscience. She seemed
inclined to consider, that by paying me my wages, all the
requisitions of Christian charity were made good between
us. This excess of iUiberal economy would soon have
parted us, had it not been for the fascination of Catalina's
gentle virtues, who became more desperately in love with
me from day to day, and completed the paroxysm by a
formal proposal of marriage.

Conclusion of Scipio's Story 297

Fair and softly, my pretty friend, said I: we must look
before we leap into that bottomless gulf: the first point to be
settled is to ascertain the death of a young woman, who
obtained the refusal before you, and made me supremely
happy, for no other purpose but to anticipate the purga-
tory of an intermediate state in the present. All a mere
sham, a put off ! answered Catalina : you swear you are mar-
ried only by way of throwing a genteel veil over your
abhorrence of my person and manners. In vain did I
call all the powers to witness, that what I said was solemnly
true: my sincere avowal was considered as a mere copy
of my countenance; the lady was grievously offended, and
changed her whole behaviour in regard to me. There was
no downright quarrel; but our tender intercourse became
visibly more rigid and unaccommodating, so that nothing
further took place between us but cold formality and com-
mon-place attentions.

Just at the nick of time, I heard that Signor Gil Bias de
Santillane* secretary to the prime minister of the Spanish
monarchy, wanted a servant; and the situation was the
more flattering, as it bore the bell among all the vacancies
of the court register office. Signor de Santillane, they told
me, was one of the first men, high in favour with the Duke
of Lerma, and consequently in the direct road to fortune:
his heart, too, was cast in the mould of generosity: by
doing his business, you most assuredly did your own. The
opportunity was too good to be neglected: I went and
offered myself to Signor Gil Bias, to whom I felt my heart
grow from the first; for my sentiments were fixed by the
turn of his physiognomy. There could be no question
about leaving the royal and most catholic nurse for him;
and it is to be hoped, I shall never have any other master.

Here ended Scipio's story. But he continued speaking,
and addressed himself to me. Signor de Santillane, do me
the favour to assure those ladies that you have always
known me for a faithful and zealous servant. Your testi-
mony will stand me in good stead, and vouch for a sincere
reformation in the son of Coselina.

Yes, ladies, said I, it is even so. Though Scipio in his
childhood was a very scape-grace, he has been bom anew,
and is now the exact model of a trusty domestic. Far
from having any complaints to make against him, my debt

298 History of Gil Bias

is infinite. On the fatal night when I was carried off to the
tower of Segovia, he saved my effects from pillage, and
refunded what he might have taken to himself with im-
punity: not contented with rescuing my worldly pelf, he
came out of pure friendship and shut himself up with me
in my prison, preferring the melancholy sympathies of
adverse fortune to all the charms of lusty, buoyant liberty.

BOOK THE ELEVENTH
CHAPTER I

CONTAINING THE SUBJECT OF THE GREATEST JOY THAT GIL
BLAS EVER FELT, FOLLOWED UP, AS OUR GREATEST
PLEASURES TOO GENERALLY ARE, BY THE MOST MELAN-
CHOLY EVENT OF HIS LIFE. GREAT CHANGES AT COURT,
PRODUCING, AMONG OTHER IMPORTANT REVOLUTIONS,
THE RETURN OF SANTILLANE

I HAVE observed already that Antonia and Beatrice
understood one another perfectly well; the latter falling
meekly and modestly into the trammels of an humble
attendant on her lady, and the former taking very kindly
to the rank of a mistress and superior. Scipio and my-
self were husbands too rich in nature's gifts and in the
affections of our spouses, not very soon to have the satis-
faction of becoming fathers : our lasses were as women wish
to be who love their lords, almost at the same moment.
Beatrice's time was up first: she was safely delivered of a
daughter; and in a few days afterwards Antonia com-
pleted the general joy, by presenting me with a son. I sent
my secretary to Valencia with the welcome tidings: the
governor came to Lirias with Seraphina and the Mar-
chioness de Pliego, to be present at the baptismal cere-
mony; for he made it his pleasure to add this testimony
of affection to all his former kindnesses. As that nobleman
stood godfather, and the Marchioness godmother to my son,
he was named Alphonso; and the governor's lady, wishing
to draw the bonds of sponsorship still closer in this friendly

The Greatest Joy of Gil Bias 299

party, stood for Scipio's daughter, to whom we gave the
name of Seraphina.

The rejoicings at the birth of my son were not confined
to the mansion-house; the villagers of Lirias celebrated the
event by festivities, which were meant as a grateful token,
to prove how much the little neighbourhood partook in all
the satisfactions of their landlord. But, alas ! our carousals
were of short continuance; or, to speak more suitably to
the subject, they were turned into weeping, waihng, and
lamentation, by a catastrophe which more than twenty
years have not been sufficient to blot from my memory,
nor will future time, however distant, make me think
of it but with the bitterest retrospect. My son died; and
his mother, though perfectly recovered from her confine-
ment, very soon followed him: a violent fever carried
off my dear wife, after we had been married fourteen
months. Let the reader conceive, if he is equal to the
task, the grief with which I was overwhelmed : I fell into a
stupid in^ensibihty; and felt my loss so severely, as to seem
not to feel it at all. I remained in this condition for five
or six days, in an obstinate determination to take no
nourishment; and I verily believe that, had it not been
for Scipio, I should either have starved myself, or my
heart would have burst; but my secretary, well knowing
how to accommodate himself to the turnings and windings
of the human heart, contrived to cheat my sorrows by
falling in with their tone and tenor: he was artful enough
to reconcile me to the duty of taking food, by serving up
soups and hghter fare with so disconsolate an arrangement
of features that it looked as if he urged me to the revolting
employment, not so much to preserve my fife, as to perpetu-
ate and render immortal my afiliction.

This affectionate servant wrote to Don Alphonso, to let
him know of the misfortune which had ha'ppened to me, and
my lamentable condition in consequence. That tender-
hearted and compassionate nobleman, that generous friend,
very soon repaired to Lirias. I cannot recall the moment
when he first presented himself to my view without even now
being sensibly affected. My dear Santillane, said he, em-
bracing me, I am not come to offer you impertinent consola-
tion; but to weep over Antonia with you, as you would have
wept with me over Seraphina, had the hand of death snatched

300 History of Gil Bias

her from me. In good truth, his tears bore testimony to his
sincerity, and his sighs were blended with mine in the most
friendly sympathy. Though overwhelmed with my afflic-
tion, I felt in the most lively manner the kindness of Don
Alphonso.

The governor had a long conversation with Scipio respect-
ing the measures to be taken for overcoming my despair.
They judged it best to remove me for some time from Lirias,
where every object incessantly brought back to my mind the
image of Antonia. On this account the son of Don Caesar
proposed carrying me back with him to Valencia; and my
secretary seconded the plan with so many unanswerable
arguments, that I made no further opposition. I left
Scipio and his wife on my estate, where my longer stay could
have produced no other effect but that of aggravating and
enhancing all my sorrows, and took my own departure with
the governor. On my arrival at Valencia, Don Cassar and
his daughter-in-law spared no exertions to divert my sorrows
from perpetual brooding; they phed me alternately with
every sort of amusement, the most proper to turn the
current of my thoughts to passing objects; but, in spite of
all their pains, I remained plunged in melancholy, whence
they were incompetent to draw me out. Nor was it for
want of Scipio's kind attentions that my peace of mind was
still so hopeless: he was continually going back and fore
between Lirias and Valencia to inquire after me; and his
journey home was cheerful or gloomy, in proportion as he
found more or less disposition in me to listen to the words of
comfort, and to reward the affectionate sohcitude of my
friends.

He came one morning into my room. Sir, said he, with a
great deal of agitation in his manner, a report is current
about town, in which the whole monarchy is deeply inter-
ested : it is said that Philip the Third has departed this Hfe,
and that the prince, his son, is actually seated on the throne.
To this it is added, that the cardinal Duke of Lerma has lost
the premiership, that he is even forbidden to appear at court,
and that Don Gaspard de Guzman, Count of Olivarez, is
actually at the head of the administration. I felt a Httle
agitated by this sudden change, without knowing why.
Scipio caught at this manifestation, and asked whether the
veering of the wind in the pohtical horizon might not blow

The Greatest Joy of Gil Bias 301

me some good. How is that possible ? What good can it
blow me, my worthy friend ? answered I. The court and
I have shaken hands once for all : the revolutions which may
take place there are all alike indifferent to me.

For a man at your time of life, replied that cunning son
of a diviner, you are uncommonly mortified to all the uses
of this world. Under your circumstances my curiosity
would be all alive ; I should go to Madrid and show my face
to the young monarch, just to see whether he would recol-
lect it, merely for the amusement of the thing. I under-
stand you, said I ; you would have me return to court and
try my fortune again, or rather you would plunge me back
into the gulf of avarice and ambition. Why should such
baleful passions any more take possession of your breast ?
rejoined Scipio. Do not so much play the calumniator on
your own virtue. I will answer for your firmness to your-
self. The sound moral reflections which your disgrace has
occasioned you to make on the vanities of a court life, are a
suf&cient 'security against all the dangers to be feared from
that quarter. Embark boldly once again upon an ocean
where you are acquainted with every shoal and rock in the
dangerous navigation. Hold your tongue, you flatterer,
said I, with a smile of no very positive discouragement ; are
you weary of seeing me lead a retired and tranquil life ?
I thought my repose had been more dear to you.

Just at this period of our conversation, Don Caesar and
his son came in. They confirmed the news of the king's
death, as well as the Duke of Lerma's misfortune. It
appeared, moreover, that this minister, having requested
permission to retire to Rome, had not been able to obtain it,
but was ordered to confine himself to his marquisate at
Denia. On this, as if they had been in league with my
secretary, they advised me to go to Madrid and offer my
congratulations to the new king, as one of his former ac-
quaintances, with the merit of having rendered him even
such services, as the great are apt to reward more willingly
than some which are performed with cleaner hands. For
my part, said Don Alphonso, I have no doubt but they
will be hberally acknowledged : Philip the Fourth is bound
in honour to pay the Prince of Spain's debts. I consider
the affair just in the same light as you do, said Don
Caesar; and Santillane's visit to court will doubtless

302 History of Gil Bias

prove the occasion of his arriving at the very first em-
ployments.

In good truth, my noble friends, exclaimed I, you do not
consider what you are talking about. It should seem, were
one to give ear to the soothing words of you both, as if I had
nothing to do but to show my face at Madrid, and receive
the key of office, or some foreign government for my pains;
but you are egregiously mistaken. I am, on the contrary,
well persuaded that the king would pass me over as a stran-
ger, were I to throw myself in his way. I will make the
experiment if you wish it, merely for the sake of undeceiving
you. The lords of Leyva took me at my word, so that I
could not help promising them to set out without loss of
time for Madrid. No sooner did my secretary perceive my
mind fully made up to the prosecution of this journey, than
his ecstacies were wound up to the highest pitch: he was
satisfied within himself that if I did but present my excel-
lent person before the new monarch, he would immediately
single me out from the crowd of political candidates, and
weigh me down under a load of dignities and emoluments.
On the strength of these conjectures, puffing himself out
and amusing his fancy with the most splendid extrava-
gances of device, he raised me up to the first offices of the
state, and pushed forward his own preferment in the path
of my exaltation.

I therefore made my arrangements for returning to court,
without the most distant intention of again sacrificing at the
shrine of fortune, but merely to convince Don Caesar and his
son of their error, in imagining that I was at all likely to in-
gratiate myself with the sovereign. It is true that there
was some little lurking vanity at the bottom of all my
philosophy, sprouting up in the shape of a desire to ascer-
tain whether my royal master would throw away a thought
on me, now in the spring time of his new and blushing
honours. Led out of that course solely by that tempter,
curiosity, without a dream of hope, or any practical con-
trivance for turning the new reign to my own individual
advantage, I set out for Madrid with Scipio, consigning the
management of my household to Beatrice, who was well
skilled in all the arts of domestic economy.

I

Gil Bias again at Court 303

CHAPTER II

GIL BLAS ARRIVES IN MADRID, AND MAKES HIS APPEARANCE
AT COURT : THE KING IS BLESSED WITH A BETTER MEMORY
THAN MOST OF HIS COURTIERS, AND RECOMMENDS HIM
TO THE NOTICE OF HIS PRIME MINISTER. CONSEQUEN-
CES OF THAT RECOMMENDATION

We got to Madrid in less than eight days, Don Alphonso
having given us two of his best horses, that we might lose no
time on the road. We ahghted at a ready-fumished
lodging, where I had hved formerly, kept by Vincent Fer-
rero, my old landlord, who was uncommonly glad to see me
again.

As this man prided himself on being in the secret of what-
ever was going forward either in court or city, I asked him
after the best news. There is plenty of it, whether best or
worst, answered he. Since the death of Phihp the Third,
the friends and partisans of the Cardinal Duke of Lerma
have been moving heaven and earth to support his Emin-
ence on the pinnacle of ministerial authority, but their
efforts have been ineffectual: the Count of Olivarez has
carried the day, in spite of all their industry. It is alleged
that Spain will be no loser by the exchange, and that the
present premier is possessed of a genius so extensive, a mind
so capacious, that he would be competent to wield the
machine of universal government. New brooms, they say,
sweep clean! But, at all events, you may take this for
certain, that the pubhc is fully impressed with a very
favourable opinion of his capacity: we shall see by and by
whether the Duke of Lerma's situation is well or ill filled up.
Ferrero, having got his tongue into the right train for
wagging, gave me all the particulars of all the changes
which had taken place at court since the Count of Olivarez
had taken his seat at the helm of the state vessel.

Two days after my arrival at Madrid, I repaired to the
royal palace after my dinner, and threw myself in the king's
way as he was crossing the lobby to his closet; but his
notice was not at all attracted by my appearance. Next
day, I returned to the same place, but with no better success.
On the third day he looked me full in the face as he passed

A

304 History of Gil Bias

by, but the stare was perfectly vacant, as far as my interest
or my vanity was concerned. This being the case, I re-
solved in my own mind what was proper to be done : You
see, said I, to Scipio, who accompanied me, that the king is
grown out of my recollection; or if his memory is not
become more frail with the elevation of his circumstances,
he has some private reasons for not choosing to renew the
acquaintance. I think we cannot do better than make our
way back as fast as possible for Valencia. Let us not be in
too great a hurry for that, sir, answered my secretary: you
know better than myself, having served a long apprentice-
ship, that there is no getting on at court without patience
and perseverance. Be indefatigable in exhibiting your
person to the prince's regards: by dint of forcing yourself on
his observation, you will obHge him to ask himself the ques-
tion who this assiduous frequenter of his haunts can pcssibly
be, when memory must come to his aid, and trace the fea-
tures of his cheapener in the purchase of the lovely Catalina's
good graces.

That Scipio might have nothing to reproach me with, I
so far lent myself to his wishes as to continue the same pro-
ceeding for the space of three weeks; when at length it
happened one day that the monarch, noticing the frequency
of my appearance, sent for me into his presence. I went
into the closet, not without some perturbation of mind at
the idea of a private interview with my sovereign. Who
are you ? said he : your features are not altogether strange
to me. Where have I seen you ? Please your majesty,
answered I trembhng, I had the honour of escorting you one
night with the Count of Lemos to the house of ... . Ah !
I recollect it perfectly, cried the prince, as if a sudden Hght
had broke in upon him: you were the Duke of Lerma's
secretary ; and if I am not mistaken, your name is Santillane.
I have not forgotten that on the occasion alluded to you
served me with a most commendable zeal, but received a
left-handed recompense for your exertions. Did you not
get into prison at the conclusion of the adventure ? Yes,
please your majesty, replied I : my confinement in the tower
of Segovia lasted six months; but your goodness was exer-
cised in procuring my release. That, replied he, does not
cancel my debt to my faithful servant Santillane: it is not
enough to have restored him to liberty, for I ought to make

Gil Bias again at Court 305

him ample amends for the evils which he has suffered on the
score of his alacrity in my concerns.

Just as the prince was uttering these words, the Count of
Olivarez came into the closet. The nerves of favourites are
shaken by every breath, their irritabihty excited by every
trifle : he was as much astonished as any favourite need be
at the sight of a stranger in that place, and the king re-
doubled his wondering propensities by the following recom-
mendation— Count, I consign this young man to your care,
employ him, and let me find that you provide for his ad-
vancement. The minister affected to receive this order
with the most gracious acquiescence, but looked me over
from head to foot, with a glance from the comer of his eye,
and was on tenter-hooks to find out who had been so
strangely saddled upon him. Go, my friend, added the
sovereign, addressing himself to me, and waving his hand
for me to withdraw; the count will not fail to avail himself
of your services in a manner the most conducive to the
interests o*f my government, and the establishment of your
own fortunes.

I immediately went out of the closet and made the best of
my way to the son of CoseUna, who, being overrun with
impatience to inquire what the king had been talking about,
fumbled at his fmgers' ends, and was all over in an agita-
tion. His first question was, whether we were to return to
Valencia or become a part of the court. You shall form
your own conclusions, answered I ; at the same time dehght-
ing him with an account word for word of the httle conver-
sation I had just held with the monarch. My dear master,
said Scipio at once in the excess of his joy, will you take me
for your almanac-maker another time? You must ac-
knowledge that we were not in the wrong ! the lords of Leyva
and myself have our eye-teeth about us! a journey to Ma-
drid was the only measure to be adopted in such a case.
Already I anticipate your appointment to an eminent post:
you will turn out to be some time or other a Calderona to
the Count of Ohvarez. That is by no means the object of
ray ambition, observed I in return; the employment is
placed on too rugged an eminence to excite any longings in
my mind. I could wish for a good situation where there
could be no inducement to do what might go against my
conscience, and where the favoiirs of my prince are not

3o6 History of Gil Bias

likely to be bartered away for filthy lucre. Having expe-
rienced my own unfitness for the possession of patronage, I
cannot be sufficiently on my guard against the inroads of
avarice and ambition. Never think about that, sir ! replied
my secretary, the minister will give you some handsome
appointment, which you may fill without any impeachment
of your integrity or independence.

Induced more by Scipio's importunity than my own curi-
osity, I repaired the following day before sunrise to the
residence of the Count d'Olivarez, having been informed that
every morning, whether in summer or winter, he gave
audience by candlelight to all comers. I ensconced myself
modestly in a corner of the saloon, and from my lurking-
place took especial notice of the count when he made his
appearance; for I had marked his person but cursorily in
the king's closet. He was above the middle stature, and
might pass for fat in a country where it is a rarity to see any
but lean subjects. His shoulders were so high, as to look
exactly as if he was hump-backed, but appearances were
slanderous; for his blade-bones, though inelegant, were a
pair; his head, which was large enough to be capacious,
dropped down upon his chest by the unwieldiness of its
own weight ; his hair was black and unconscious of a curl, his
face lengthened, his complexion oHve-coloured, his mouth
retiring inwards, with the sharp-pointed, turn-up chin of a
pantaloon.

This whole arrangement of structure and symmetry did
not exactly make up the complete model of a nobleman
according to the ideas of ancient art; nevertheless, as I
believed him to be in a temper of mind favourable to the
gratification of my wishes, I looked at his defects with an
indulgent eye, and found him a man very much to my
satisfaction. One of the best points about him was, that
he received the public at large with the utmost affability
and complacency, holding out his hand for petitions with as
much good humour as if he were the person to be obliged,
and this was a sufficient set-off against anything untoward
in the expression of his countenance. In the mean time,
when in my turn I came forward to pay my respects and
make myself known to him, he darted at me a glance of rude
dislike and frightful menace ; then turning his back, without
condescending to give me audience, retired into his closet.

Gil Bias again at Court 307

Then it was that the ugliness of this nobleman's features
appeared in all the extravagance of caricature: so that I
made the best of my way out of the saloon, thunder-struck
at so savage a reception, and quite at a loss how to conjecture
what might be the consequence.

Having got back to Scipio, who was waiting for me at the
door — Can you guess at all, said I, what sort of a greeting
mine was ? No, answered he, not as to the minute particu-
lars; but with respect to the substance, easily enough: the
minister, ready upon all occasions to fall in with the fancies
of his royal master, must of course have made you a hand-
some offer of an ostensible and lucrative situation. That is
all you know about the matter, replied I ; and then went on
to acquaint him circumstantially with all that passed. He
hstened to me with serious attention, and then said — The
count could not have recollected your person ; or rather, he
must have been deceived by a fortuitous resemblance
between you and some impertinent suitor. I would advise
you to try another interview; I will lay a wager he will look
on you more kindly. I adopted my secretary's suggestion,
and stood for a second time in the presence of the minister;
but he, behaving to me still worse than at first, puckered
up his features the moment my unlucky countenance came
within his ken, just as if it was connected with some lodged
hate and certain loathing, which of force swayed him to
offend, himself being offended ; after this significant demon-
stration, he turned away his glaring eyeballs, and withdrew
without uttering a word.

I was stung to the quick by so hostile a treatment, and in
a humour to set out immediately on my return to Valencia ;
but to that project Scipio uniformly opposed his steady
objections, not knowing how for the fife of him to part with
those flattering hopes which fancy had engendered in his
brain. Do you not see plainly, said I, that the count
wishes to drive me away from court ? The monarch has
testified in his presence some sort of favourable intention
towards me, and is not that enough to draw down upon me
the thorough hatred of the monarch's favourite ? Let us
drive before the wind, my good comrade; let us make up
our minds to put quietly into port, and leave the open sea
and the honours of the flag in the possession of an enemy
with whom we are too feeble to contend. Sir, answered he.

3o8 History of Gil Bias

in high resentment against the Count of Olivarez, I would
not strike so easily. I would go and complain to the king
of the contempt in which his minister held his recommenda-
tion. Bad advice, indeed, my friend, said I; to take so
imprudent a step as that, would soon bring bitter repentance
in the train of its consequences. I do not even know
whether it is safe for me to remain any longer in this town.
At this hint, my secretary communed a httle with his own
thoughts; and, considering that in point of fact we had to
do with a man who kept the key of the tower of Segovia in
his pocket, my fears became naturalized in his breast. He
no longer opposed my earnest desire of leaving Madrid, and
I determined to take my measures accordingly on the
very next day.

CHAPTER ni

THE PROJECT OF RETIREMENT IS PREVENTED, AND JOSEPH
NAVARRO BROUGHT UPON THE STAGE AGAIN, BY AN ACT
OF SIGNAL SERVICE

On my way home to my lodgings I met Joseph Navarro,
whom the reader will recollect as on the establishment of
Don Balthasar de Zuniga, and one of my old friends. I made
my bow first at a distance, then went up to him, and asked
whether he knew me again, and if he would still be so good
as to speak to a wretch who had repaid his friendship with
ingratitude. You acknowledge then, said he, that you have
not behaved very handsomely by me? Yes, answered I;
and you are fully justified in laying on your reproaches
thick and threefold: I deserve them all, unless indeed my
guilt may be thought to have been atoned by the remorse of
conscience attendant on it. Since you have repented of
your misconduct, replied Navarro, embracing me, I ought
no longer to hold it in remembrance. For my part, I knew
not how to hug Joseph close enough in my arms; and we
both of us resumed our original kind feehngs towards one
another.

He had heard of my imprisonment and the derangement
of my affairs; but of what followed he was totally ignorant.
I informed him of it; relating word for word my conversa-
tion with the king, without suppressing the minister's late

Joseph Navarro upon the Stage again 309

ungracious reception of me, any more than my present
purpose of retiring into my favourite obscurity. Beware
of removing from the scene of action, said he: since the
sovereign has shown a disposition to befriend you, there are
always uses to be made of such a circumstance. Between
ourselves, the Count of Olivarez has something rather un-
accountable in his character: he is a very good sort of noble-
man, but rather whimsical withal: sometimes, as on the
present occasion, he acts in a most offensive manner, and
none but himself can furnish a clue to disentangle the intri-
cate thread of his motives and their results. But however
this may be, or whatever reasons might have swayed him to
give you so scurvy a reception, keep your footing here, and
do not budge ; he will not be able to hinder you from thriving
under the royal shelter and protection; take my word for
that ! I will just give a hint upon the subject this evening
to Signor Don Balthasar de Zuniga, my master ; he is uncle
to the Count of Olivarez, and shares with him in the toils
and cares of office. Navarro having given me this assur-
ance, inquired where I lived, and then we parted.

It was not long before we met again ; for he came to call
on me the very next day. Signor de Santillane, said he,
you are not without a protector; my master will lend you
his powerful support : on the strength of the good character
which I have given your lordship, he has promised to speak
to his nephew, the Count of Olivarez, in your behalf; and I
doubt not but he will effectually prepossess him in your
favour. My friend Navarro not meaning to serve me by halves,
introduced me two days afterwards to Don Balthasar, who
said with a grapious air: Signor de Santillane, your friend
Joseph has pronounced your panegyric in terms which have
won me over completely to your interest. I made a low
obeisance to Signor de Zuniga, and answered, that to the
latest period of my life I should entertain the most lively
sense of my obligation to Navarro, for having secured to me
the protection of a minister, who was considered, and that for
the best reasons possible, as the presiding genius, the greater
luminary, or, as it were, the eye and mind of the ministerial
council. Don Balthasar, at this unexpected stroke of
flattery, clapped me on the shoulder with an approving
chuckle, and returned my compliment by a more significant
intimation : You may call on the Count of Olivarez again

3IO History of Gil Bias

to-morrow, and then you will have more reason to be
pleased with him.

For the third time, therefore, did I make my appear-
ance before the prime minister, who, picking me out from
among the mob of suitors, cast upon me a look conveying
with it a simper of welcome, from which I ventured to draw
a good omen. This is all as it should be, said I to myself;
the uncle has brought the nephew to his proper bearings.
I no longer anticipated any other than a favourable recep-
tion, and my confidence was fully justified. The count,
after having given audience to the promiscuous crowd,
took me with him into his closet, and said with a familiar
address: My friend Santillane, you must excuse the little
disquietude I have occasioned you merely for my own
amusement; it was done in sport, though it was death to
you, for the sole purpose of practising on your discretion,
and observing to what measures your disgust and disap-
pointment would incite you. Doubtless you must have
concluded that your services were displeasing to me; but
on the contrary, my good fellow, I must confess frankly,
that, as far as appears at present, you are perfectly to my
mind. Though the king my master had not enjoined me
to take charge of your fortunes, I should have done so of
my own free choice. Besides, my uncle, Don Balthasar
de Zuniga, to whom I can refuse nothing, has requested me
to consider you as a man for whom he particularly interests
himself : that alone would be enough to fix my confidence in
you, and make me most sincerely your friend.

This outset of my career produced so hvely an impres-
sion on my feelings, that they became uninteUigibly tumul-
tuous. I threw myself at the minister's feet, who insisted
on my rising immediately, and then went on to the follow-
ing effect: Return hither to-day after dinner, and ask for
my steward: he will acquaint you with the orders which I
shall have given him. With these words his excellency
broke up the conference to hear mass, according to his
constant custom every day after giving audience: he then
attended the king's levee.

Gil Bias with the Count of Olivarez 3 1 1

CHAPTER IV

GIL BLAS INGRATIATES HIMSELF WITH THE COUNT OF
OLIVAREZ

I DID not fail returning after dinner to the prime minis-
ter's house, and asking for his steward, whose name was
Don Raymond Caporis. No sooner had I made myself
known, than pa5dng his civihties to me in the most respect-
ful manner. Sir, said he, follow me if you please: I am to
do myself the honour of shewing you the way to the apart-
ment which is ordered for you in this family. Having
spoken thus, he led me up a narrow staircase to a gallery
communicating with five or six rooms, which composed the
second story belonging to one wing of the house, and were
furnished neatly, but without ostentation. You behold,
resumed -he, the lodging assigned you by his lordship,
where you will always have a table of six persons, kept at
his expense. You will be waited on by his own servants;
and there will always be a carriage at your command.
But that is not all : his excellency insisted on it in the most
pointed manner, that you should be treated in every
respect with the same attention as if you belonged to the
house of Guzman.

What the devil is the meaning of all this ? said I within
myself. What construction ought I to put upon all these
honours? Is there not some humorous prank at the
bottom of it ? and must it not be more in the way of diver-
sion than anything else, that the minister is flattering me
up with so imposing an estabHshment ? While I was
nmiinating in this uncertainty, fluctuating between hope
and fear, a page came to let me know that the count was
asking for me. I waited instantly on his lordship, who
was quite alone in his closet. Well! Santillane, said he,
are you satisfied with your rooms, and with my orders to
Don Raymond ? Your excellency's hberality, answered I,
seems out of all proportion with its object; so that I re-
ceive it with fear and trembling. Why so? rephed he.
Can I be too lavish of distinction to a man whom the king
has committed to my care, and for whose interests he
especially commanded me to provide ? No, that is impos-

3 1 2 History of Gil Bias

sible; and I do no more than my duty in placing you on a
footing of respectability and consequence. No longer,
therefore, let what I do for you be a subject of surprise;
but rely on it that splendour in the eye of the world, and
the soHd advantages of accumulating wealth, are equally
within your grasp, if you do but attach yourself as faith-
fully to me as you did to the Duke of Lerma.

But now that we are on the subject of that nobleman,
continued he, it is said that you lived on terms of personal
intimacy with him. I have a strong curiosity to learn the
circumstances which led to your first acquaintance, as well
as in what department you acted under him. Do not
disguise or gloss over the sHghtest particular, for I shall
not be satisfied without a full, true, and circumstantial
recital. Then it was that I recollected in what an embar-
rassing predicament I stood with the Duke of Lerma on a
similar occasion, and by what line of conduct I extricated
myself; that same course I adopted once again with the
happiest success ; whereby the reader is to understand that
throughout my narrative I softened down the passages
hkely to give umbrage to my patron, and glanced with a
superficial delicacy over transactions which would have
reflected but little lustre on my own character. I like-
wise manifested a considerate tenderness for the Duke of
Lerma; though by giving that fallen favourite no quarter,
I should better have consulted the taste of him whom I
wished to please. As for Don Rodrigo de Calderona, there
I laid about me with the religious fury of a bishop in a
battle. I brought together, and displayed in the most
glaring colours, all the anecdotes I had been able to pick
up respecting his corrupt practices and underhand deahng
in the sale of promotions, military, ecclesiastical, and
civil.

What you have told me about Calderona, cried the
minister with eagerness, exactly squares with certain
memorials which have been presented to me, containing
the heads of charges still more seriously affecting his char-
acter. He will very soon be put upon his trial, and if you
have any wish to glut your revenge by his ruin, I* am of
opinion that the object of your desire is near at hand. I
am far from thirsting after his blood, said I, though had it
depended on him, mine might have been shed in the tower

Gil Bias with the Count of Olivarez 3 1 3

of Segovia, where he was the occasion of my taking lodgings
for a pretty long term. What! inquired his excellency,
was it Don Rodrigo who procured you that sudden jour-
ney ? this is a part of the story of which I was not aware
before. Don Balthasar, to whom Navarro gave a sum-
mary of your adventures, told me indeed that the late king
gave orders for your commitment, as a mark of his indigna-
tion against you for having led the Prince of Spain astray,
and taken him to a house of suspicious character in the
night : but that is all I know of the matter, and cannot for
the life of me conjecture what part Calderona could pos-
sibly have had to play in that tragi-comedy. A principal
part, whether on the stage or in real hfe, answered I : that
of a jealous lover, taking vengeance for an injury, sus-
tained in the tenderest point. At the same time I related
minutely all the facts with which the reader is already
acquainted, and touched his risible propensities, difficult
as they were of access, so exactly in the right place, that he
could not help wagging his under-hung jaw in a paroxysm
of humour-stricken ecstasy, and laughing till he cried
again. Catalina's double cast in the drama dehghted him
exceedingly; her sometimes playing the niece and some-
times personating the grand-daughter seemed to tickle his
fancy more than anything; nor was he altogether inatten-
tive to the appearance which the Duke of Lerma made in
this undignified farce of state.

When I had finished my story, the count gave me leave
to depart, with an assurance that on the next day he would
not fail to make trial of my talents for business. I ran
immediately to the family hotel of Zuniga, to thank Don
Balthasar for his good offices, and to acquaint my friend
Joseph with the favourable dispositions of the prime min-
ister, and my brilhant prospects in consequence.

314 History of Gil Bias

CHAPTER V

THE PRIVATE CONVERSATION OF GIL BLAS WITH NAVARRO,
AND HIS FIRST EMPLOYMENT IN THE SERVICE OF THE
COUNT d'OLIVAREZ

As soon as I got to the ear of Joseph, I told him with
much trepidation of spirits what a world of topics I had
to deposit in his private ear. He took me where we might
be alone, when I asked him, after having communicated a
key to the whole transaction up to the present time, what
he thought of the business as it stood. I think, answered
he, that you are in a fair way to make an enormous fortune.
Everything turns out according to your wishes: you have
made yourself acceptable to the prime minister; and what
must be taken for something in the account, I can render
you the same service as my uncle Melchior de la Ronda,
when you attached yourself to the archiepiscopal estab-
lishment of Grenada. He spared you the trouble of find-
ing out the weak side of that prelate and his principal offi-
cers, by discovering their different characters to you; and
it is my purpose, after his example, to bring you per-
fectly acquainted with the count, his lady countess, and
their only daughter. Donna Maria de Guzman.

The minister's parts are quick, his judgment penetrating,
and his talents altogether calculated for the formation of
extensive projects. He affects the credit of universal
genius, on the strength of a showy smattering in general
science; so that there is no subject, in his own opinion, too
difficult to be decided on his mere authority. He sets
himself up for a practical lawyer, a complete general, and
a poHtician of thorough-paced sagacity. Add to all this,
that he is so obstinately wedded to his own opinions, as un-
changeably to persevere in the path of his own chalking
out, to the absolute contempt of better advice, for fear of
seeming to be influenced by any good sense or intelHgence,
but what he would be thought to engross in the resources of
his own mind. Between ourselves, this blot in his char-
acter may produce strange consequeRces, which it may
be well for the monarchy should indulgent heaven for the
defect of human means avert ! As for his talents in coun-

Gil Bias serves the Count d'Olivarez 3 1 5

cil, he shines in debate by the force of natural eloquence, and
would write as well as he speaks, if he did not injudiciously
affect a certain dignity of style, which degenerates into
affectation, quaintness, and obscurity. His modes of
thinking are pecuHar to himself; he is capricious in con-
duct, and visionary in design. Here you have the picture
of his mind, the Hght and shade of his intellectual merits:
the quahties of his heart and disposition remain to be
deHneated. He is generous and warm in his friendships.
It is said that he is revengeful ; but would he be a Spaniard
if he were otherwise ? In addition to this, he has been
accused of ingratitude, for having driven the Duke of
Uzeda and Friar Louis Aliaga into banishment, though
he owed them, according to common report, obligations of
the most binding nature; and yet even this must not be
looked into so narrowly under his circumstances: there
are few breasts capacious enough to afford house-room for
two such opposite inmates as pohtical ambition and grati-
tude.

Donna Agnes de Zuniga 6 Velasco, Countess of Olivarez,
continued Joseph, is a lady to whom it is impossible to
impute more than one fault, but that is a huge one; for it
consists in making a market, and a market the most exorbi-
tant in its terms, of her natural influence over the mind of her
husband. As for Donna Maria de Guzman, who beyond
all dispute is at this moment the very first match in Spain,
she is a lady of first-rate accomplishments, and absolutely
idolized by her father. Regulate your conduct upon these
hints: make your court with art and plausibihty to these
two ladies, and let it appear as if you were more devoted
to the Count of OHvarez than ever you were to the Duke
of Lerma before your forced excursion to Segovia; you
will become a leading and powerful member of the adminis-
tration.

I should advise you, moreover, added he, to see my mas-
ter, Don Balthasar, from time to time; for though you
have no longer any occasion for his interest to push you
forward, it will not be amiss to waste a httle incense upon
him. You stand very high in his good opinion; preserve
your footing there, and cultivate his friendship; it may
stand you in some stead on any emergency. I could not
help observing, that as the uncle and nephew were in a

3 1 6 History of Gil Bias

certain sort partners in the government of the state, there
might possibly be some little s5miptom of jealousy between
brothers near the throne. On the contrary, answered
he, they are united by the most confidential ties. Had it
not been for Don Balthasar, the Count of Olivarez might
probably never have been prime minister; for you are to
know, that after PhiHp the Third had paid the debt of
nature, all the adherents and partisans belonging to the
house of Sandoval made a great stir, some in favour of the
cardinal, and others on his son's behalf; but my master,
a greater adept in court intrigue than any of them, and
the count, who is nearly as great an adept as himself,
disconcerted all their measures, and took their own so
judiciously for the purpose of stepping into the vacant
place, that their rivals had no chance against them. The
Count of Olivarez, being appointed prime minister, divided
the duties with his uncle, Don Balthasar; leaving foreign
affairs to him, and taking the home department to himself;
the consequence is, that the bonds of family friendship
are drawn closer between these two noblemen, than if
political influence had no share in their mutual interests :
they are perfectly independent in their respective hues
of business, and live together on terms of good understand-
ing which no intrigue can possibly affect or alter.

Such was the substance of my conversation with Joseph,
and the advantage to be derived from it was my own to
make the most of: at all events, it was my duty to thank
Signor de Zuniga for all the influence he had the goodness
to exert in my favour. He assured me with infinite good-
breeding that he should avail himself of every oppor-
tunity as it arose to promote my wishes, and that he was
very glad his nephew had behaved so as to meet my ideas,
because he meant to refresh his memory in my behalf, being
determined, as he was pleased to say, to place it beyond
all manner of doubt how far he himself participated in all
my views, and to make it evident that, instead of one fast
friend, I had two. In terms like these did Don Balthasar,
through mere friendship for Navarro, take the moulding of
my fortunes on himself.

On that same evening did I leave my paltry lodging to
take up my abode at the prime minister's, where I sat down
to supper with Scipio in my own suite of apartments.

Gil Bias serves the Count d'Olivarez 317

There were we both waited on by the servants belonging to
the household, who as they stood behind our chairs, while
we were affecting the pomp and circumstance of political
elevation, were more hkely than not to be laughing in their
sleeves at the pantomime they had been ordered by their
manager to play in our presence. When they had taken
away and left us to ourselves, my secretary being no longer
under restraint, gave vent to a thousand wild imaginations
which his sprightly temper and inventive hopes engendered
in his fancy. On my part, though by no means cold or in-
sensible to the brilhant prospects which were opening on
my view, I did not as yet yield in the least degree to the
weakness of being thrust aside from the right hne of my
philosophy by temporal allurements. So much otherwise,
that on going to bed I fell into a sound sleep, without being
haunted in my dreams by those phantoms of flattering
delusion which might have gained admittance with no
severe question from a corruptible door-keeper. The
ambitious Scipio, on the contrary, tossed and tumbled all
night in the agitation of restless contrivance. Whenever
he dozed a httle imp took possession of his brain, with a
pen behind its ear, working out by all the rules of arith-
metic the bulky sum total of his daughter Seraphina's mar-
riage portion.

No sooner had I got my clothes on the next morning,
than a message came from his lordship. I flew like light-
ning at the summons, when his excellency said: Now then,
Santillaine, suppose you give us a specimen of your talents
for business. You say that the Duke of Lerma used to
give you state papers to bring into official form; and I
have one, by way of experiment, on which you shall try
your skill. The subject you will easily comprehend: it
turns upon an exposition of public affairs, such as to throw
an artificial hght on the first appearance of the new ministry,
and to prejudice the pubhc in its favour. I have already
whispered it about by my emissaries, that every depart-
ment of the state was completely disorganized, that the
talents which preceded us were no talents at all; and the
object at present is to impress both court and city by a
formal declaration with the idea, that our aid is absolutely
necessary to save the monarchy itself from sinking. On
this theme you may expatiate till the populace become

3 1 8 History of Gil Bias

lock-jawed with astonishment, and the sober part of the
pubHc are gravely argued out of all prepossession in favour
of the discarded party. By way of contrast, you will talk
of the dignus vindice nodus, taking care to translate it into
Spanish ; and boast of the measures adopted under the new
order of things, to secure the permanent glory of the king's
reign, to give perpetual prosperity to his dominions, and
to confer perfect, unchangeable happiness on his good
people.

His lordship, having given out the general subject of
my thesis, left me with a paper containing the heads of
charges, whether just or unjust, against the late adminis-
tration : and I remember perfectly well, that there were ten
articles, whose lightest word, even of the lightest article,
would harrow up the soul of a true Spaniard, and make his
knotted and combined locks to part. That the current
of my fancy might experience no interruption, he shut
me into a little closet near his own, where the spirit of poetry
might possess me in all its freedom and independence. My
best faculties were called forth, to compose a statement
of affairs commensurate with my own concern in the sweep-
ing of the new brooms. My first object was to lay open
the nakedness and abandonment of the kingdom: the
finances in a state of bankruptcy, the civil list and imme-
diate resources of the crown pawned fifty times over, the
navy unpaid, dismantled, and in mutiny. All this hideous
delineation was referred for its justice and accuracy to the
wrongheadedness and stupidity of government at the
close of the last reign, and the doctrine most strongly en-
forced, that unexampled wisdom and patriotism only could
ward off the fatal consequences. In short, the monarchy
could only be sustained on the shoulders of our political
sufficiency and reforming prudence. The ex-ministry
were so cruelly belaboured, that the Duke of Lerma's
ruin, according to the terms of my syllogism, was the sal-
vation of Spain. To own the truth, though my professions
were in the spirit of Christian charity towards that noble-
man, I was not sorry to give him a sly rub in the exercise
of my function. Oh man! man! what a compound of
candour-breathing satire and splenetic impartiaHty art
thou !

Towards the conclusion, having finished my frightful por-

The Success of the State Paper 3 1 9

traiture of overhanging evils, I endeavoured to allay the
storm my art had raised by making futurity as bright as
the past had been gloomy. The Count of Ohvarez was
brought in at the close, like the tutelary deity of an ancient
com_monwealth in the crisis of its fate. I promised more
than paganism ever feigned or chivalry fancied in the
wildest of its crusading projects. In a word, I so exactly
executed what the new minister meant, that he seemed
not to know his own hints again, when drawn out in my
emphatic and appropriate language. Santillane, said he,
do you know that this is more hke the composition one
might expect from a secretary of state, than hke that of a
private secretary? I can no longer be surprised that the
Duke of Lerma was fond of calhng your talents into action.
Your style is concise, and by no means inelegant; but it
creeps rather too much in the level paths of nature. At the
same time, pointing out the passages which did not hit his
fancy, he Qorrected them ; and I gathered from the touches
he threw in, that Navarro was right in saying he affected
sententious wit, but mistook for it quaint and stale con-
ceits. Nevertheless, though he preferred the stately, or
rather the grotesque in writing, he suffered two thirds of
my performance to stand without alteration; and by way
of proving how entirely he was satisfied, sent me three
hundred pistoles by Don Raymond after dinner.

CHAPTER VI

THE APPLICATION OF THE THREE HUNDRED PISTOLES, AND
SCIPIO'S COMMISSION CONNECTED WITH THEM. SUC-
CESS OF THE STATE PAPER MENTIONED IN THE LAST
CHAPTER

This handsome present of the minister furnished Scipio
with a new subject of congratulation, by reason of our
second appearance at court. You may remark, said he,
that fortune is preparing a load of aggrandizement to lay
on your lordship's shoulders. Are you still sorry for
having turned your back on soHtude ? May the Count of
Olivarez hve for ever! he is a very different sort of a
master from his predecessor. The Duke of Lerma, with

320 History of Gil Bias

all your devotion to his service, left you to live upon suc-
tion for months without a pistole to bless yourself with ; and
the count has already made you a present which you
could have had no reason to expect but after a course of
long service.

I should very much like, added he, that the lords of
Leyva should be witnesses of your great success, or at
least that they should be informed of it. It is high time
indeed, answered I, and I meant to speak with you on that
subject. They must doubtless be impatient to hear of my
proceedings, but I waited till my fate was fixed, and till I
could decide for certain whether I should stay at court
or not. Now that I am sure of my destination, you have
only to set out for Valencia whenever you please, and to
acquaint those noblemen with my present situation, which
I consider as their doing, since it is evident that, but
for them, I should never have resolved on my journey to
Madrid. My dear master, cried the son of Bohemian
accident, what joy shall I communicate by relating what
has happened to you ! Why am I not already at the gates
of Valencia? But I shall be there forthwith. Don
Alphonso's two horses are ready in the stable. I shall
take one of my lord's livery servants with me. Besides
that company is pleasant on the road, you know very well
the effect of official parade, in making impression on the
natives of a provincial town.

I could not help laughing at my secretary's foolish
vanity; and yet, with vanity perhaps more than equal to his
own, I left him to do as he pleased. Go about your busi-
ness, said I, and make the best of your way back; for I have
another commission to give you. I mean to send you to the
Asturias with some money for my mother. Through neg-
lect I have suffered the time to elapse when I promised to re-
mit her a hundred pistoles, and pledged you to make the pay-
ment in person. Such engagements ought to be held sacred
by a son; and I reproach myself with inaccuracy in the ob-
servance of mine. Sir, answered Scipio, within six weeks I
shall bring you an account of both your commissions; having
opened my budget to the lords of Leyva, looked in at your
country-house, and taken a peep at the town of Oviedo, the
recollection of which I cannot admit into my mind, without
turning over three-fourths of the inhabitants, and one-half

The Success of the State Paper 321

of the remaining quarter, to the corrective discipline of that
infernal executioner, who is supposed to be kept on foot for
the purpose of castigating sinners. I then counted down
one hundred pistoles to that same son of a wandering mother
for my honoured parent's annuity, and another hundred for
himself; meaning that he should perform his long journey
without grumbhng on my account by the way.

Some days after his departure his lordship sent our
memorial to press; and it was no sooner pubhshed than it
became the topic of conversation in every circle throughout
Madrid. The people, enamoured of novelty, took up this
well-written statement of their own wretchedness with fond
partiahty; the derangement and exhaustion of the finances,
painted with a mixture of truth and poetry, excited a strong
feehng of popular indignation against the Duke of Lerma;
and if these paper bullets of the brain, cast in the political
armoury of a rival, failed to carry victory with them in the
opinions ot all mankind, they were at all events hailed with
triumph by the most clamorous of our own partisans. As
for the magnificent promises which the Count of Olivarez
threw in, and among others that of keeping the machine of
state in motion, by a system of economy, without adding to
the pubUc burdens, they were caught at with avidity by the
citizens at large, and considered as pledges of an enlightened
and patriotic policy, so that the whole city resounded with
the acclamation of paneg)nic and congratulation on the
opening of new prospects.

The minister, dehghted to have gained his end so easily,
which in that pubhcation had only been to draw popularity
upon himself, was now determined to seize the substance as
well as catch at the shadow, by an act of unquestionable
credit with the subject, and high utihty to the king's service.
For that purpose, he had recourse to the emperor Galba's
contrivance, consisting in a forced regurgitation of ill-gotten
spoils from individuals who had made large fortunes, hell
and their own consciences knew best how, in the superin-
tendence of the royal expenditure. When he had squeezed
these spunges till they were dry again, and had filled the
king's coffers with the drainings, he undertook to render the
reform permanent by aboHshing all pensions, not excepting
his own, and curtaihng the gratuities too frequently be-
stowed on favourites out of the prince's privy purse. To
II M

322 History of Gil Bias

succeed in this design, which he could not carry into effect
without changing the face of the government, he charged
me with the composition of a new state paper, furnishing
the substance and the form from his own idea. He then
advised me to raise my style as much as possible above the
level of my ordinary simpUcity, and to give an air of more
eloquence to my phraseology. A hint is sufficient, my lord,
said I ; your excellency wishes to unite sublimity with illu-
mination, and it shall be so. I shut myself up in the same
closet where I had already worked so successfully, and sat
down stiffly to my task, first calling to my aid the lofty and
clear perceptions, the noble and sonorous expressions, of my
old instructor, the archbishop of Grenada.

I began by laying it down as a first maxim of political
philosophy, that the vital functions, the respiration as it
were of all monarchy, depended on the strict administra-
tion of the finances; that in our particular case that duty
became imperiously urgent, irresistibly impressing on our
consciences; and that the revenue should be considered as
the nerves and sinews of Spain, to hold her rivals in check
and keep her enemies in awe. After this general declama-
tion, I pointed out to the sovereign, for to him the memorial
was addressed, that by cutting down all pensions and per-
quisites dependent on the ordinary income, he would not
thereby deprive himself of that truly royal pleasure, a
princely munificence towards those of his subjects who had
established a fair claim to his favours; because without
drawing upon his treasury, he had the means of distributing
more acceptable rewards; that for one branch of service,
there were viceroyalties, lieutenancies, orders of merit, and
all sorts of mihtary commissions: for another, high judicial
situations with salaries annexed, civil offices of magistracy
with sounding titles to give them consequence; and though
last, not least, all the temporal possessions of the church to
animate the piety of its spirituad pastors.

This memorial, which was much longer than the first,
occupied me nearly three days; but as luck would have it,
my performance was exactly to my master's mind, who
finding it written with sententious cogency, and bristled up
with metaphors in the declamatory parts, complimented me
in the highest terms. That is vastly well expressed indeed !
said he, laying his finger on a passage here and there, and

Gil Bias' Conversation with Fabricio 323

picking out all the most inflated sentences he could find:
that language bears the stamp of fine composition, and
might pass for the production of a classic. Courage, my
friend! I foresee that your services will be worth their
weight in gold. And yet, notwithstanding the applauses he
lavished on my classical composition, a few of his own
heightening touches, he thought, would make it read still
better. He put a good deal of his own stuff into it, and the
medley was manufactured into a piece of eloquence which
was considered as unanswerable by the king and all the
court. The whole city joined in opinion with the higher
orders, deriving the most flattering hopes of the future from
these grand promises, and concluding that the monarchy
must recover its pristine splendour during the ministry of so
illustrious a character. His excellency, finding that my
sermon on economy was fraught with practical inferences
of utihty to him, was kind enough to wish that I should
profit by -the exercise of my own talents. In conformity
therefore with his new system of patronage, he gave me an
annuity of five hundred crowns on the commandery of
Castile; and the acceptance of it was so much the more
palatable, as no dirty work had been done for it, but it
was honestly, though cheaply, earned.

CHAPTER VII

GIL BLAS MEETS WITH HIS FRIEND FABRICIO ONCE MORE ; THE
ACCIDENT, PLACE, AND CIRCUMSTANCES DESCRIBED;
WITH THE PARTICULARS OF THEIR CONVERSATION
TOGETHER

Nothing gave his lordship greater pleasure than to hear
the general decision of Madrid on the conduct of his ad-
ministration. Not a day passed but he inquired what they
were saying of him in the pohtical world. He kept spies in
pay, to bring him an exact account of what was going on in
the city. They particularized the most trivial discourses
which they overheard; and their orders being to suppress
nothing, his self-love was grazed now and then, for the
people have a way of bolting out home truths, without any
nice calculation where they may glance.

324 History of Gil Bias

Finding that the count loved political small talk, I made
it my business to frequent places of pubHc resort after
dinner, and to chime in with the conversation of genteel
people whenever opportunity offered. Should the measures
of government happen to be canvassed among them, I
pricked up my ears, and greedily took in their discourse;
if anything worth repeating was said, his excellency was
sure to hear of it. It can scarcely be necessary to hint,
that I never carried home anything which was not likely to
pay for the porterage.

One day, returning from one of these little conversational
parties, my road lay in front of an hospital. It occurred to
me to go in. I walked through two or three wards, filled
with diseased patients, and examined their beds to see that
they were properly taken care of. Among these unhappy
wretches, whom I could not look at without the most
painful feehngs, I observed one whose features struck me:
it surely could be no other than Fabricio, my countryman
and chum ! To look at him more closely, I drew near his
bedside, and finding beyond a possibiUty of doubt that it
was the poet Nunez, I stopped to look at him for a few
seconds without saying a word. He also fixed his regards
on me. At length breaking silence : Do not my eyes deceive
me ? said I. Is it indeed Fabricio, and here ? It is indeed,
answered he, coldly, and you need not wonder at it. Since
we parted, I have been working indefatigably at the trade
of an author: I have written novels, plays, and works of
genius in every department. My brain is fairly spun out,
and here I am.

I could not help laughing at such a sketch of literary
biography; and still more at the serious air of the accom-
panying action. What! cried I, has your muse brought
you to this pass? Has she played you such a jade's trick
as this ? Even as you witness, answered he ; this establish-
ment is a sort of half-pay receptacle for invahds on the
muster-roll of disabled wit. You have acted discreetly, my
good friend, to lay yourself out for promotion in a different
hne. But they tell me, you are no longer a courtier, and
that your prospects in political life were all blasted; nay,
they went so far as to affirm, that you were committed to
close custody by the king's order. They told you no more
than the truth, replied I: the delightful vision of political

Gil Bias' Conversation with Fabricio 325

eminence wherein you left me last, soon shifted the scene
of my incoherent dreams to a prison and complete destitu-
tion. But for all that, my friend, here you behold me again
in a better phght than ever. That is quite out of the ques-
tion, said Nunez: your deportment is discreet and decent,
you have not that supercihous and devil-take-the-hinder-
most sort of aspect, which good keep conmiunicates to the
human face. The reverses of this chequered life, repUed I,
have brought me down to the level of the more modest
virtues ; I have taken a lesson in the school of adversity, to
enjoy the possession of a good stud without riding the
great horse.

Tell me then candidly, cried Fabricio, raising his head
upon his hand with his elbow upon the pillow, what your
present occupation can possibly be. A steward perhaps to
some nobleman out at elbows, or man of business to some
rich widow ! Something better than either the one or the
other, rejoined I, but excuse me from saying more at
present: another time your curiosity shall be satisfied. It
is enough at present to assure you that my means are equal
to my incUnation, and that you may command indepen-
dence through me; but then you must submit to an em-
bargo on your wit, and a non-intercourse act between you
and the faculty of writing, whether in verse or prose. Can
you make this sacrifice to my friendship ? I have already
made it to the powers above, said he, in my last critical
sickness. A Dominican made me forswear poetry, as an
amusement bordering on criminaUty, but at all events
beside the turnpike-road of good sense. I wish you joy, my
dear Nunez, replied I ; beware of a revoke. There is not the
least danger on that head, rejoined he: the Muses and I
have agreed on terms of separation: just as you came in at
that door, I was conning over a farewell ode. Good master
Fabricio, said I, with a wise swagging to and fro of my head,
it is a doubtful question whether your vow of abjuration
ought to pass current with the Dominican and myself : you
seem over head and ears in love with those virgins incarnate.
No, no, contended he peevishly, I have cut the connection
asunder. Nay, more, I have quarrelled with their keepers,
the pubUc. The readers of these days do not deserve an
author of more genius than themselves: I should be
sorry to write down to their comprehension. You are not

326 History of Gil Bias

to suppose that this is the language of disgust; it is my
sincere and well-weighed opinion. Applause and hisses are
just the same to me. It is a toss up who fails and who
succeeds: the wit of to-day is the blockhead of to-morrow.
What cursed fools our dramatists must be, to care for
anything but their poundage when their plays happen to be
received! It is aU very well for a few nights! But only
fancy a revival at the end of twenty years, and what a
figure they will cut then! The audiences of the present
day turn up their noses at the stock pieces of the last age,
and it is a question whether their taste will fare better with
their more critical descendants. If that conjecture be
probable, the inventors of clap-traps now wiU be the butt
of cat-calls hereafter. It is just the same with novel writers,
and aU other manufacturers of unnecessary literature : they
strut and fret for an hour, and then are no more seen or
heard of. The glories of successful authorship are the mere
vapours of a murky atmosphere, meteors of a marsh, foul
coruscations of a dunghill, cathedral tapers to put out the
galaxy, blue flames of coarse paper held over a candle.

Though these caricatures of rival renown were the mere
creations of jealousy in the poet of the Asturias, it was not
my business to correct his ill temper. I am delighted, said
I, that wit and you have had so serious a quarrel; and that
the diarrhoea of your inventive faculties has been cured by
an astringent. You may depend on it, I will put you in the
way of a good livelihood, without drawing deep upon your
intellectual credit. So much the better, cried he; wit
smells like carrion in my nostrils, or rather like a pungent
and deleterious perfume; fragrant to the sense, but corro-
sive to the vitals. I heartily wish, my dear Fabricio,
resumed I, that you may always keep in that mind. Only
wash your hands completely of poetry, and you may depend
on it, I wiU enable you to keep your head above water
without picking or steahng. In the mean while, added I,
slipping a purse of sixty pistoles into his hand, accept this
as a sHght instance of my regard.

O friend like the friends in days of yore, cried the son of
barber Nunez, out of his wits with joy and gratitude, it was
heaven itself which sent you into this hospital, whence your
goodness is now discharging me ! Before we parted I gave
him my address, and invited him to come and see me as

Progresses in his Master's Affections 327

soon as his health would permit. He opened his eyes as an
oyster does its shell, when I told him that I lodged under
the minister's roof. O illustrious Gil Bias! said he, great
as Pompey and fortunate as Sylla, whose lot it is to be hand
in glove with the dictators of modem times! I rejoice
most disinterestedly in your good fortune, because it is so
very evident what a noble use you make of it.

CHAPTER Vni

GIL BLAS GETS FORWARD PROGRESSIVELY IN HIS MASTER'S
AFFECTIONS. SCIPIO'S RETURN TO MADRID, AND AC-
COUNT OF HIS JOURNEY

The Count of Ohvarez, whom I shall henceforward call
my lord duke, because the king was pleased to confer that
dignity on him about this time, was infested with a weak-
ness which I did not suffer to pass without taking toll: it
it was a furious desire of being beloved. The moment he
fancied that any one really hked him, his heart was caught
in a trap. This was not lost upon my keen sense of charac-
ter. It was not enough to do precisely as he ordered;
I superadded a zeal in the execution which made him mine.
I laid myself out to his liking in everything, and provided
beforehand for his most eccentric wishes.

By conduct like this, which almost always answers, I
became by degrees my master's favourite; and he, on the
other hand, as if he had got round to my bhnd side also,
wormed himself into my affections, by giving me his own.
So forward did I get into his good graces, as to halve his
confidence with Signor Carnero, his principal secretary.

Camero had played my game; and that so successfully,
as to be intrusted with the greater mysteries. We two
therefore were the keepers of the prime minister's con-
science, and held the keys of all his secrets : with this differ-
ence, that Carnero was consulted on state affairs, myself
about his private concerns, dividing the business into two
separate departments; and we were each of us equally
pleased with our own. We lived together without jealousy,
and certainly without attachment. I had every reason to
be satisfied with my quarters, where continual intercourse

328 History of Gil Bias

gave me an opportunity of prying into the duke's inmost
soul, which was a masked battery to all mankind beside, but
plain as a pikestaff to me, when he no longer questioned
the sincerity of my attachment to him.

Santillane, said he one day, you were witness to the
Duke of Lerma's possession of an authority, more like that
of an absolute monarch than a favourite minister; and yet
I am still happier than he was at the very summit of his
good fortune. He had two formidable enemies in his own
son, the Duke of Uzeda, and in the confessor of Philip the
Third: but there is no one now about the king who has
credit enough to stand in my way, or even, as I am aware,
-i-'^he slightest inclination to do me mischief.
nO It is true, continued he, that on my accession to the
' „,^iinistry, it was my first care to remove all hangers-on
from about the prince but those of my own family or con-
nections. By means of viceroyalties or embassies I got
rid of all the nobility who, by their personal merit, could
have interfered with me in the good graces of the sovereign,
whom I mean to engross entirely to myself; so that I may
say at the present moment, no statesman of the time holds
me in check by the ascendancy of his personal influence.
You see, Gil Bias, I open my mind to you. As I have reason
to think that you are mine heart and soul, I have chosen to
put you in possession of everything. You are a clever
youth; with reflection, penetration, and discretion: in short,
you are just the very creature to acquit yourself of all possi-
ble little offices in all possible directions; you are also a
young fellow of very promising parts, and must in the
nature of things be in my interest.

There was no standing the attack which these flattering
representations were calculated to make upon the weakly
defended fortress of my philosophy. Unauthorized whims
of avarice and ambition mounted suddenly into my head,
and brought forward certain sentiments of political specu-
lation which were supposed to have been in abeyance. I
gave the minister an assurance that I should fulfil his inten-
tions to the utmost of my power, and held myself in readiness
to execute without examination or inference all the orders
it might be his pleasure to give me.

While I was thus disposed to take fortune in her affable
fit, Scipio returned from his peregrination. I have no long

How the Duke Married his Daughter 329

story for you, said he. The lords of Leyvai were delighted
at your reception from the king, and at the manner in which
the Count of Olivarez and you came to understand one
another.

My friend, said I, you would have delighted them stiU
more, had you been able to tell them on what a footing I am
now with my lord. My advances since your departure
have been prodigious. Happy man be his dole, my dear
master, answered he: my mind forebodes that we shall cut
a figure.

Let us change the subject, said I, and talk of Oviedo.
You have been in the Asturias. How did you leave my
mother ? Ah, sir ! replied he, with an undertaker's decency
of countenance, I have a melancholy tale to tell you from
that quarter. O heaven ! exclaimed I, my mother then is
dead ! Six months since, said my secretary, did the good
lady pay the debt of nature, and your uncle. Signer Gil
Perez, about the same period.

My mother's death preyed upon my susceptible nature,
though in my childhood I had not received from her those
little fondling indications of maternal love, so necessary
to amalgamate with the more serious convictions of fUisd
duty. The good canon, too, came in for his share in bring-
ing me up according to the rules of godhness and honesty.
My serious grief was not lasting: but I never lost sight of a
certain tender recollection, whenever the idea of my dear
relations shot across my mind.

CHAPTER IX

HOW MY LORD DUKE MARRIED HIS ONLY DAUGHTER, AND TO
whom: with THE BITTER CONSEQUENCES OF THAT
MARRIAGE

Very shortly after the son of Coselina's return, my lord
duke fell into a brown study, and it lasted a complete week.
I conceived, of course, that he was brooding over some great
measure of government; but family concerns were the
obj ect of his musings. Gil Bias, said he one day after dinner,
you may perceive that my mind is a good deal distracted.
Yes, my good friend, I am pondering over an affair of the

330 History of Gil Bias

utmost consequence to my feelings. You shall know all
about it.

My daughter, Donna Maria, pursued he, is marriageable,
and of course beset with suitors. The Count de Niebles,
eldest son of the Duke de Medina Sidonia, head of the
Guzman family, and Don Lewis de Haro, eldest son of the
Marquis de Carpio and my eldest sister, are the two most
likely competitors. The latter in particular is superior in
point of merit to all his rivals, so that the whole court has
fixed on him for my son-in-law. Nevertheless, without
entering into private motives for treating him, as well as the
Count de Nibbles, with a refusal, my present views are fixed
upon Don Ramires Nunez de Guzman, Marquis of Toral,
head of the Guzmans d'Abrados, another branch of the
family. To that nobleman and his progeny by my daughter
I mean to leave all my property, and to entail on them the
title of Count d'Ohvarez, with the additional dignity of gran-
dee ; so that my grandchildren and their descendants, issue
of the AbradoB and OHvarez branch, will be considered as
taking precedence on the house of Guzman.

Tell me now, Santillane, added he, do you not like my pro-
ject? Excuse me, my lord, pleaded I, with a shrug, the
design is worthy of the genius which gave birth to it: my
only fear is, lest the Duke of Medina Sidonia should think
fit to be out of humour at it. Let him take it as he list,
resumed the minister; I give myself very little concern
about that. His branch is no favourite with me : they have
choused that of Abrados out of their precedence and many
of their privileges. I shall be far less affected by his ill
humours than by the disappointment of my sister, the
Marchioness de Carpio, when she sees my daughter shp
through her son's fingers. But let that be as it may. I am
determined to please myself, and Don Ramires shall be the
man ; it is a settled point.

My lord duke, having announced this firm resolve, did not
carry it into effect without giving a new proof of his singular
poHcy. He presented a memorial to the king, entreating
him and the queen in concert, to do him the honour of
taking the choice of a husband for his daughter on them-
selves, at the same time acquainting them with the preten-
sions of the suitors, and professing to abide by their election;
but he took care, when naming the Marquis de Toral,

How the Duke Married his Daughter 331

to evince clearly whither his own wishes pointed. The
king, therefore, with a bUnd deference for his minister,
answered thus: " I think that Don Ramires Nunez
deserves Donna Maria: but determine for yourself. The
match of your own choosing will be most agreeable to me."
(Signed) The King.

The minister made a point of shewing this answer every-
where; and affecting to consider it as a royal mandate,
hastened his daughter's marriage with the Marquis de
Toral; a death-blow to the hopes of the Marchioness de
Carpio, and the rest of the Guzmans who had been speculat-
ing on an alliance with Donna Maria. These rival players of
a losing game, not being able to break off the match, put
the best face they could upon it, and made the fashion-
able world to resound with their costly celebrations of the
event. A superficial observer might have fancied that the
whole family was dehghted with the arrangement; but the
pouters send ill-wishers were soon revenged most cruelly
at my lord duke's expense. Donna Maria was brought to
bed of a daughter at the end of ten months ; the infant was
still-bom, and the mother died a few days afterwards.

What a loss for a father who had no eyes, as one may
say, but for his daughter, and in her loss felt the miscar-
riage of his design to quash the right of precedence in the
branch of Medina Sidonia! Stung to the quick by his
misfortune, he shut himself up for several days, and was
visible to no one but myself; a sincere sympathiser, from
the recollection of my own experience in his sorrow. The
occasion drew forth fresh tears to Antonia's memory. The
death of the Marchioness de Toral, under circumstances so
similar, tore open a wound imperfectly skinned over, and so
exasperated my affliction, that the minister, though he had
enough to do with his own sufferings, could not help taking
notice of mine. It seemed unaccountable how exactly his
feelings were echoed. Gil Bias, said he one -day, when my
tears seemed to feed upon indulgence, my greatest conso-
lation consists in having a bosom friend so much alive to
all my distresses. Ah ! my lord, answered I, giving him the
full credit of my amiable tenderness, I must be ungrateful
and degenerate in my nature if I did not lament as for
myself. Can I be aware that you mourn over a daughter
of accompHshed merit, whom you loved so tenderly, with-

332 History of Gil Bias

out shedding tears of fellow-feeling ! No, my lord, I am too
much naturalized to you on the side of obligation, not to
take a permanent interest in all your pleasures and dis-
pointments.

CHAPTER X

GIL BLAS MEETS WITH THE POET NUNEZ BY ACCIDENT, AND
LEARNS THAT HE HAS WRITTEN A TRAGEDY, WHICH IS
ON THE POINT OF BEING BROUGHT OUT AT THE THEATRE
ROYAL. THE ILL FORTUNE OF THE PIECE, AND THE
GOOD FORTUNE OF ITS AUTHOR

The minister began to pick up his crumbs, and myself
consequently to get into feather again, when one evening
I went out alone in the carriage to take an airing. On the
road I met the poet of the Asturias, who had been lost to
my knowledge ever since his discharge from the hospital.
He was very decently dressed. I called him up, gave him a
seat in my carriage, and we drove together to Saint Jerome's
meadow.

Master Nunez, said I, it is lucky for me to have met you
accidentally; for otherwise I should not have had the
pleasure. ... No severe speeches, Santillane, interrupted he
with considerable eagerness: I must own frankly that I
did not mean to keep up your acquaintance, and I will tell
you the reason. You promised me a good situation pro-
vided I abjured poetry, but I have found a very excel-
lent one, on condition of keeping my talents in constant
play. I accepted the latter alternative, as squaring best
with my own humour. A friend of mine got me an employ-
ment under Don Bertrand Gomez del Ribero, treasurer of
the king's galleys. This Don Bertrand, wanting to have a
wit in his pay, and finding my turn for poetical composition
very much in unison with his own sense of what is excellent,
has chosen me in preference to five or six authors who offered
themselves as candidates for the place of his private secre-
tary.

I am delighted at the news, my dear Fabricio, said I,
for this Don Bertrand must be very rich. Rich indeed!
answered he; they say that he does not know himself
how much he is worth. However that may be, my busi-

Gil Bias meets the Poet Nunez 333

ness under him is as follows. He prides himself on his
turn for gallantry, at the same time wishing to pass for a
man of genius: he therefore keeps up an epistolary inter-
course of wit with several ladies who have an infinite deal,
and borrows my brain to indite such letters as may ampUfy
the opinion of his sprightliness and elegance. I write to
one for him in verse, to another in prose, and sometimes
carry the letters myself, to prove the agiUty of my heels
as well as the ingenuity of my head.

But you do not tell me, said I, what I most want to
know. Are you well paid for your epigrammatic cards of
compliment? Yes, most plentifully, answered he. Rich
men are not always open-handed ; and I know some who are
downright curmudgeons; but Don Bertrand has behaved
in the most handsome manner. Besides a salary of two
hundred pistoles, I receive some httle occasional per-
quisites from him, sufficient to set me above the world,
and enable me to Hve on an equal footing with some choice
spirits of the Uterary circles, who are willing, like myself,
to set care at defiance. But then, resmned I, has your
treasurer critical skill enough to distinguish the beauties
of a performance from its blemishes? The least likely
man in the world, answered Nunez: a flippant-tongued
smatterer, with a miserable assortment of materials for
judging. Yet he gives himself out for chief justice and lord
president of Apollo's tribunal. His decisions are adven-
tiuous, if not always lucky; while his opinions are main-
tained in so high a tone and with so bullying a challenge of
infallibility, that nine times out of ten the issue of an
argument is silence, though not conviction, on the part of
the opponent, as a measure of precaution against the
gathering storm of foul language and contemptuous sneers.

You may readily suppose, continued he, that I take
especial care never to contradict him, though it almost
exceeds human patience to forbear: for, to say nothing of
the unpalatable phrases that might be hailed dowTi on my
defenceless head, I should stand a very good chance of being
shoved by the shoulders out of doors. I therefore am dis-
creet enough to approve what he praises, and to condemn
without mitigation or appeal whatever he is pleased to
find fault with. By this easy comphance, for poets are
compelled to acquire a knack of knocking under to those

334 History of Gil Bias

by whom they live, not even excepting their booksellers,
I have gained the esteem and friendship of my patron. He
has employed me to write a tragedy on a plot of his own. I
have executed it under his inspection; and if the piece
succeeds, a per centage on the laud and honour must accrue
to him.

I asked our poet what was the title of his tragedy. He
informed me that it was *' The Count of Saldagna," and
that it would come out in two or three days. I told him
that I wished it all possible success, and thought so favour-
ably of his genius, as to entertain considerable hopes. So
do I, said he, but hope never tells a more flattering tale
than in the ear of a dramatic author. You might as well
attempt to fix the wind by nailing the weathercock, as
speculate on the reception of a new piece with an audience.

At length, the day of performance arrived. I could not
go to the play, being prevented by official business. The
only thing to be done was to send Scipio, that he might
bring me back word how it went off ; for I was sincerely in-
terested in the event. After waiting impatiently for his
return, in he came with a long face which boded no good.
Well, said I, how was " The Count of Saldagna " wel-
comed by the critics ? Very roughly, answered he ; never
was there a play more brutally handled ; I left the house in
high anger at the injustice and insolence of the pit. It
serves him right, rejoined I. Nunez is no better than a
madman, to be always running his head against the stone
walls of a theatre. If he was in his senses, could he have
preferred the hisses and cat-calls of an unfeeling mob, to
the ease and dignity he might have commanded under my
patronage ? Thus did I inveigh with friendly vehemence
against the poet of the Asturias, and disturb the even
tenor of my mind for an event, which the sufferer hailed with
joy, and inserted among the weU-omened particulars of
his journal.

He came to see me within two days, and appeared in
high spirits. Santillane, cried he, I am come to receive
your congratulations. My fortune is made, my friend,
though my play is marred. You know what a mistake
they made on the first and last night of " The Count of
Saldagna;" hissed instead of applauding! You would
have thought all the wild beasts of the forest had been

Gil Bias meets the Poet Nunez 335

let loose, with their ears fortified against the softening
power of poetry: but the more they bellowed, the better
I fared, and they have roared me into a provision for hfe.

There was no knowing what to make of this incident in the
drama of our poet's adventures. What is all this, Fabricio ?
said I: how can theatrical damnation have conjured up
such Elysian ecstacy? It is exactly so, answered he:
I told you before that Don Bertrand had thrown in some
of the circimistances; and he was fully convinced that
there was no defect but in the taste of the spectators.
They might be very good judges; but, if they were, he was
no judge at all ! Nunez ! said he this morning ;

Victrix causa Diis placuit, sed victa Catoni.^

Your piece has been ill-received by the public ; but against
that you may place my entire approbation; and thus you
ought to .set your heart at rest. By way of something to
balance the bad taste of the age, I shall settle an annuity
of two thousand crowns on you: go to my sohcitor, and
let him draw the deed. We have been about it: the
treasurer has signed and sealed; my first quarter is paid in

advance

I wished Fabricio joy on the unhappy fate of ** The
Count of Saldagna," and probably most authors would have
envied his failure more than all the success that ever suc-
ceeded. You are in the right, continued he, to prefer my
fortune to my fame. What a lucky peal of disapprobation
in double choir! If the public had chosen to ring the
changes on my merits rather than my misdeeds, what
would they have done for my pocket? A mere paltr^^
nothing. The common pay of the theatre might have
kept me from starving ; but the wind of popular malice has
blown me a comfortable pension, engrossed on safe and
legal parchment.

^ Members of parliament, and the ladies, will probably expect a
translation of these hard words; but I refer the former to their dic-
tionaries, to which they bade a long farewell on leaving Eton or
Harrow; and the latter to an extended paraphrase of five acts in
the tragedy of Cato. Those of the softer sex who may think the
Stoic philosphy rude and uncouth, will feel their nerves vibrate in
unison with the love scenes. Translator,

336 History of Gil Bias

CHAPTER XI

SANTILLANE GIVES SCIPIO A SITUATION: THE LATTER SETS
OUT FOR NEW SPAIN

My secretary could not look at the unexpected good luck
of Nunez the poet without envy: he talked of nothing else
for a week. The whims of that baggage, Fortune, said he,
are most unaccountable: she deHghts to turn her lottery
wheel into the lap of a sorry author, while she deals out her
disappointments like a step-mother to the race of good
ones. I should have no objection, though, if she would
throw me up a prize in one of her vertical progresses.
That is likely enough to happen, said I, and sooner than you
imagine. Here you are in her temple ; for it is scarcely too
presumptuous to call the house of a prime minister the
temple of Fortune, where favours are conferred by whole-
sale, and votaries grow fat on the spoils of her altar. That
is very true, sir, answered he; but we must have patience,
and wait till the happy moment comes. Take my advice
while it is worth having, Scipio, rephed I, and make your
mind easy: perhaps you are on the eve of some good
appointment. And so it turned out ; for within a few days
an opportunity offered of employing him advantageously
in my lord duke's service; and I did not suffer the happy
moment to pass by.

I was engaged in chat one morning with Don Raymond
Caporis, the prime minister's steward, and our conversa-
tion turned on the sources of his excellency's income. My
lord, said he, enjoys the commanderies of all the military
orders, yielding a revenue of forty thousand crowns a year;
and he is only obliged to wear the cross of Alcantara.
Moreover, his three offices of great chamberlain, master of
the horse, and high chancellor of the Indies, bring him
in an income of two hundred thousand crowns; and yet
aU this is nothing in comparison of the immense sums which
he receives through other transatlantic channels; but you
will be puzzled to guess how. When vessels clear out from
Seville or Lisbon for those parts of the world, he ships
wine, oil, grain, and other articles, the produce of his own
estate; and his consignments are duty free. With this

Santillane finds Scipio a Situation 337

perquisite in his pocket, he sells his merchandise for four
times its current price in Spain, and then lays out the
money in spices, colouring materials, and other things which
cost next to nothing in the new world, and are sold very dear
in Europe. Already has he reahzed some millions by this
traffic, without detracting from the dues of his royal master.

You will easily account for it, continued he, that the
people concerned in carrying on this trade return with
great fortunes in their pockets; for my lord thinks it but
reasonable that they should divide their dihgence between
his business and their own.

That shrewd son of chance and opportunity, of whom
we are speaking, overheard our conversation, and could not
help interrupting Don Raymond to the following purport.
Upon my word, Signor Caporis, I should like to be one
of those people; for I am fond of travelling, and have
long wished to see Mexico. Your incUnations as a tourist
shall soon "be gratified, said the steward, if Signor de San-
tillane will not stand in the way of your wishes. However
particular I may think it my duty to be about the persons
whom I send to the West Indies in that capacity, and they
are all of my appointment, you shall be placed on the list
at all adventures, if your master wishes it. You will
confer on me a particular favour, said I to Don Raymond ;
be so good as to do it in kindness to me. Scipio is a young
fellow much in my good graces, very capable in business,
and will be found irreproachable in his conduct. In a word,
I would as soon answer for him as myself.

That being the case, repHed Caporis, he has only to repair
immediately to Seville: the ships are to sail for South
America in a month. I shall give him a letter at his depar-
ture for a man who will put him in the way of making a
fortune, without the slightest interference in his excellency's
dues and profits, which ought to be held sacred by him.

Scipio, dehghted with his berth, was in haste to set out
for Seville with a thousand crowns with which I furnished
him, to make purchases of wine and oil in Andalusia, and
enable him to trade on his own bottom in the West Indies.
And yet, overjoyed as he was to make a voyage, and as he
hoped his fortune therewithal, he could not part from me
without tears: and the separation raised the waters even
from my dry fountains.

338 History of Gil Bias

CHAPTER XII

DON ALPHONSO DE LEYVA COMES TO MADRID; THE MOTIVE
OF HIS JOURNEY A SEVERE AFFLICTION TO GIL BLAS,
AND A CAUSE OF REJOICING SUBSEQUENT THEREON

No sooner had I parted with Scipio than one of the
minister's pages brought me a note conceived in the follow-
ing terms: " If Signor de Santillane will take the trouble
of calling at the sign of Saint Gabriel, in the street of Toledo,
he wiU there see a friend who is not indifferent to him."

Who can this nameless friend possibly be ? said I to
myself. What can be the meaning of all this mystery?
Obviously to occasion me the pleasure of a surprise. I
attended the summons immediately, and on my arrival
at the place appointed, was not a little astonished to find
Don Alphonso de Leyva there. Is it possible! exclaimed
I: you here, my lord? Yes, my dear Gil Bias, answered
he with a close compression of my hand in his, it is Don
Alphonso himself. WeU ! but what brings you to Madrid ?
said I. You will be not a Httle startled, rejoined he, and no
less vexed at the occasion of my journey. They have taken
my government of Valencia from me, and the prime minister
has sent for me to give an account of my conduct. For a
whole quarter of an hour I was like a man stupified; then
recovering the powers of speech: Of what, said I, are you
accused? I know nothing at all about it, answered he;
but my disgrace is probably owing to a visit paid about
three weeks ago to the Cardinal Duke of Lerma, who was
banished about a month since to his seat at Denia.

Yes, indeed! cried I in a pet, you may weU attribute
your misfortune to that imprudent visit: there is no occa-
sion to look out for causes and effects elsewhere; but give
me leave to say that you have not acted with your usual
good sense, in claiming acquaintance with that favourite
out of favour. The leap is taken, and the neck broken,
said he ; and I have nothing to do but to make the best out
of a bad bargain: I shaU retire with my family to our
paternal estate at Leyva, where the remnant of my days
win glide away in peace and obscurity. What taunts and
teases me, is the requisition of appearing before a haughty

A Severe Affliction to Gil Bias 339

minister, who may receive me with all the insolence of ofifice.
How humiliating to the pride of a Spaniard ! And yet it is
a measure of necessity; but before the degrading ceremony
took place, I wanted to talk it over with you. Sir, said I,
do not announce your arrival to the minister, till I have
ascertained the nature of the reports to your discredit;
for there are few evils without a remedy. Whatever may
be your alleged crimes, you will give me leave, if you
please, to act in the affair as gratitude and friendship shall
dictate. With this assurance, I left him at his inn, and
promised to let him hear from me soon.

As I had taken no active part in state affairs since the
two memorials, in which my eloquence was so signally dis-
played, I went to look for Camero, with a view to inquire
whether Don Alphonso's government was really taken from
him. He answered in the affirmative, but professed not to
know the reason. Finding how things stood, I deter-
mined to apply at head-quarters, and to learn the grounds
of grievance from his lordship's own mouth.

My spirits were really harassed; so that there was no
need of putting on the trappings and the suits of woe, to
attract my lord duke's notice. What is the matter, San-
tillane ? said he, as soon as he saw me. I perceive a
marked unhappiness on your countenance, and tears
just ready to trickle down your cheeks. Has any one
behaved ill to you ? Tell me, and you shall have your
revenge. My lord, answered I, in a melancholy tone, even
though my grief would seek to hide itself, it must have
vent : my despair is past endurance. The report goes that
Don Alphonso is no longer Governor of Valencia ; a severer
stroke could not have been inflicted on me. What say you,
Gil Bias? replied the minister in astonishment: what inte-
rest can you take in this Don Alphonso and his govern-
ment ? On this question, I detailed at length my obliga-
tions to the Lords of Leyva, and modestly stated my oun
interference with the Duke of Lerma, to obtain the appoint-
ment for my friend.

When his excellency had heard me through with the
most pohte and kind attention, he spoke thus: Make
yourself easy, Gil Bias. Besides my entire ignorance of
what you have just told me, I must own that I considered
Don Alphonso as the cardinal's creature. Only put your-

340 History of Gil Bias

self in my place: was not the visit to his eminence a most
suspicious circumstance? Yet I am willing to believe
that owing his preferment to that minister, he might
have remembered him in his adversity from a motive of pure
gratitude. I am sorry for having displaced a man who
owed his elevation to you; but if I have pulled down your
handiwork I can build it up again. I mean to do still more
than the Duke of Lerma for you. Your friend Don
Alphonso was only Governor of Valencia; I appoint him
Viceroy of Arragon: you may send him word so yourself,
and order him hither to take the oaths.

At these words, my feehngs changed from extreme
grief to an excess of joy, which completely caricatured
the mediocrity of common sense, and made me utter an in-
coherent rhapsody of thanks: but the want of method in
the madness of my discourse was not taken amiss; and on
my hinting that Don Alphonso was already at Madrid, he
told me that I might present him this very day. I ran
to the sign of Saint Gabriel, and communicated my own
raptures to Don Caesar's son, by informing him of his
new appointment. He could not believe what I told
him ; but found it a hard matter to persuade himself, that
the prime minister, though Hkely enough to be very well
disposed towards me, should extend his friendship so far as
to dispose of viceroyalties at my instance. I carried him
with me to my lord duke, who received him very affably,
compHmented him on his uniform good conduct in his
government of Valencia, and finished by saying that the
king, considering him as quahfied for a higher station, had
named him for the viceroy alty of Arragon. Besides, added
he, your family is of a rank not to disparage the dignity of
the office; so that the Arragonese nobiHty will have no
plea for excepting against the choice of the court.

His excellency made no mention of me, and the pubhc
was kept in the dark as to my share in the business ; indeed,
this prudent silence was lucky both for Don Alphonso
and the minister, since the tongues of defamers would
have been busy in taking to pieces the pretensions of a
viceroy who owed his preferment to my patronage.

As soon as Don Caesar's son could speak with certainty
of his new honours, he sent off an express for Valencia
with the information to his father and Seraphina, who

The Story of Don Gaston 341

soon arrived in Madrid. Their first object was to find me
out, and ply me thick and threefold with acknowledgments.
What a proud and affecting sight for me, to behold the
three persons in the world nearest my heart, vying with
each other in their testimonies of affection and gratitude!
The pleasure my zeaJ seemed personally to give them, was
equal to the dignity conferred on their house by the post
of viceroy. They even talked with me on a footing of
equality, and scarcely remembered my original distance
or servitude in the fervour of their present feelings. But
not to dwell on unnecessary topics, Don Alphonso having
taken the oaths and returned thanks, left Madrid with
his family, to take up his abode at Saragossa. He made
his public entry with appropriate magnificence; and the
Arragonese caused it to appear, by their cordial recep-
tion, that I had a very pretty knack at picking out a
viceroy.

CHAPTER Xni

GIL BLAS MEETS DON GASTON DE COGOLLOS AND DON AN-
DREW DE TORDESILLAS AT THE DRAWING-ROOM, AND
ADJOURNS WITH THEM TO A MORE CONVENIENT PLACE.
THE STORY OF DON GASTON AND DONNA HELENA DE
GALISTEO CONCLUDED. SANTILLANE RENDERS SOME
SERVICE TO TORDESILLAS

I WAS up to the hilts in joy at having so marvellously
metamorphosed an ex-governor into a viceroy; the Lords
of Leyva themselves were not primed and loaded so near to
bursting. But very soon I had another opportunity of
employing my credit in the beaten track of friendship;
and there is the more occasion to quote these instances,
that my readers may clearly discern with how different a
man they are in company, from that graceless Gil Bias
who, under the former ministry, carried on a shameless
traffic in the honours and emoluments of the state.

One day I was waiting in the king's ante-chamber, in
conversation with some noblemen, who, knowing me to
stand well with the prime minister, were not ashamed of
taking me by the hand. In the crowd was Don Gaston de
CogoUos, whom I had left a prisoner in the tower of Se-

342 History of Gil Bias

govia. He was with Don Andrew de Tordesillas, the
warden. I readily quitted my company to go and renew
my acquaintance with my two friends. If they were as-
tonished at the sight of me, I was no less so to find them
here. After mutual greetings, Don Gaston said: Signor
de Santillane, we have many inquiries to make of each
other, and this place affords little opportunity for private
intercourse; allow me to request your company where we
may open our hearts freely. I made no objection; we
pushed our way through the crowd, and left the palace.
Don Gaston's carriage was ready waiting in the street; we
all three got into it, and drove to the great market-place,
where the bull-fights are exhibited. There Cogollos hved
in a very handsome house.

Signor Gil Bias, said Don Andrew on our entrance, at
your departure from Segovia you seemed to have conceived
a thorough hatred against the court, and to have formed a
settled purpose of abandoning it for ever. Such was, in
fact, my design, answered I ; nor were my sentiments at all
changed during the lifetime of the late king; but when the
prince his son came to the throne, I had a mind to see
whether the new monarch would know me again. He did
so, and received me favourably, with a strong recommenda-
tion to the prime minister, who admitted me to his friend-
ship, and took me more into his confidence than ever did
the Duke of Lerma. This, Signor Don Andrew, is my
story. And now tell me whether you still hold your office
in the tower of Segovia. No, indeed! answered he; my
lord duke has removed me, and put another in my room.
He probably considered me as entirely devoted to his pre-
decessor. And I, said Don Gaston, was set at liberty for
the contrary reason; the prime minister was no sooner in-
formed that my imprisonment was by the Duke of Lerma's
order, than he ordered me to be released. The present
business, Signor Gil Bias, is to relate the subsequent par-
ticulars of my adventures.

The first thing I did, continued he, after thanking Don
Andrew for his kind attentions during my confinement,
was to repair to Madrid. I presented myself before the
Count Duke of Ohvarez, who said : You need not be appre-
hensive of any blemish on your character in consequence
of your late misfortune; you are honourably acquitted:

The Story of Don Gaston 343

nay, your innocence is so much the more satisfactorily
estabhshed, as the Marquis of Villareal, with whom you
were supposed to be imphcated, was not guilty. Though
a Portuguese, and related to the Duke of Braganza, he is
less in his interests than in those of the king my master.
That connection, therefore, ought not to have been imputed
to you as a crime ; but, to repair your wrongs, the king has
given you a heutenant's commission in the Spanish guards.
This I accepted, begging it as a favour of his excellency to
allow me, before I joined my regiment, to go and see my
aunt, Donna Eleonora de Laxarilla, at Coria. The min-
ister gave me leave of absence for a month, and I departed
with only one servant.

We had got beyond Colmenar, and were threading a
narrow pass between two mountains, when we came within
sight of a gentleman defending himself bravely against
three men, who all fell upon him together. I did not
hesitate aHout going to his aid; but hastened forward and
planted myself by his side. I remarked while we were
fighting, that our enemies were masked, and that we had
to do with expert swordsmen. But we triumphed over
the united advantages of their skill and disparity. I ran
one of the three through the body; he fell from his horse,
and the two others immediately betook themselves to
flight. The victory indeed was scarcely leas fatal to us
than to the wretch whom I had killed, for we were both
dangerously wounded. But conceive my surprise, when
I discovered the gentleman to be Combados, the husband
of Donna Helena. He was no less astonished at recog-
nizing me as his defender. Ah, Don Gaston ! exclaimed he,
was it you, then, who came to my assistance? When
you took my part so generously, you Uttle thought it was
the person who had snatched your mistress from you. I
really did not know it, answered I; but though I had, do
you think I could have wavered about doing as I have
done? Can you entertain so ill an opinion of me, as to
beheve my soul so sordid ? No, no, replied he; I think better
of you; and should I die of my wounds, it will be my
prayer that yours may not disable you from profiting by
my death. Combados, said I, though I have not yet
forgotten Donna Helena, know that I do not pant after the
possession of her charms at the expense of your life; so

344 History of Gil Bias

far from it, that I congratulate myself on having con-
tributed to your rescue from assassination, since by so
doing I have performed an acceptable service to your wife.

While we were communing together, my servant dis-
mounted; and drawing near to the gentleman stretched
at his length, took ofi his mask, when Combados, with
sensations of gratitude for his dehverance, distinctly
traced the features. It is Caprara, exclaimed he; that
treacherous cousin who, in mere disgust at having missed
a rich inheritance which he had unjustly disputed with me,
has long since cherished a murderous design against my
Hfe, and fixed on this day to put it in execution ; but heaven
has turned him over to its determined vengeance, and made
him the victim of his own attempt.

While this conversation was going on, our blood was
flowing at the same rate, and we were becoming more ex-
hausted every minute. Nevertheless, disabled as we were,
we had strength enough to reach the town of Villa-
rejo, which lies within gun-shot or two from the field of
battle. At the very first house of call we sent for surgeons.
The most expert came at our summons. He examined our
wounds, and reported them as dangerous. After taking off
the bandages and dressing them a second time, he pro-
nounced those of Don Bias to be mortal. Of mine he
thought more favourably, and the event corresponded
with his prognostic.

Combados, finding himself consigned to the grave,
thought only of due preparation for a most serious event.
He sent an express to his wife, with an account for what
had happened, particularizing his present sad condition.
Donna Helena soon arrived at Villarejo. Her mind was
drawn different ways by two opposite occasions of distress ;
the hazard of her husband's life, and the fear of feeling the
revival of a half-extinguished flame at the sight of me.
This sight occasioned her to experience a terrible agitation.
Madam, said Don Bias, when she appeared in his presence,
you are come just in time to receive my farewell. I am at
the point of death, and I consider my fate as a punishment
from heaven for having taken you from Don Gaston by a
feint : far from murmuring at it, I exhort you with my last
breath to restore to him a heart which I had stolen from
him. Donna Helena answered him only by her tears: and

The Story or Don Gaston 345

indeed it was the best answer she could make ; for she had
neither forgotten her first love, nor the artifices whereby
she had been influenced to renounce her phghted faith.

It happened as the surgeon had anticipated, that in less
than three days Combados died of his wounds, while mine
on the contrary wore the appearance of convalescence.
The young widow, whom no earthly considerations could
detach from the care of transporting her late husband's re-
mains to Coria, that they might be deposited with due
honours in the family vault, left Villarejo on her return,
after inquiring, merely as a matter of course, how I was
going on. As soon as I was well enough to be removed,
I bent my course to Coria, where my recovery was soon
ascertained. My aunt. Donna Eleonora, and Don George de
Galisteo, were determined that my marriage with Helena
should take place forthwith, lest some new caprice of
fortune should part us once more. The ceremony was
privately performed, on account of the late melancholy
event, and within a few days I returned to Madrid with
Donna Helena. As my leave of absence had expired, I was
afraid lest the minister should have superseded me in my
lieutenancy; but he had not filled up the vacancy, and
received my apologies very graciously.

Thus am I, continued Cogollos, lieutenant of the Spanish
guards, and my situation is exactly to my mind. The
circle of my friends is respectable and pleasant, and I live
at my ease among them. Would I could say as much!
exclaimed Don Andrew: but I am very far from being
satisfied with my lot; I have lost my appointment, which
was not without its advantages, and have no friends of
sufficient interest to procure me a better berth. Excuse me,
Signor Don Andrew, cried I, with a sort of upbraiding
smile, you have a friend in me who may chance to be
better than no friend at all. I have told you already
that I am a greater favourite with my lord duke than with
the Duke of Lerma; and will you tell me to my face that
you have no interest at court? Have you not already
experienced the contrary? Recollect that, through the
archbishop of Grenada's powerful recommendation, I
procured you a nomination for Mexico, where you would
have made your fortune, if love had not stepped in and
marred it at Ahcant. My means are now more extensive.

346 History of Gil Bias

since I have the ear of the prime minister. I give myself
up to you then, repHed Tordesillas ; but do not send me
into New Spain, though the first appointment in the colonies
were at your disposal.

Here we were interrupted by Donna Helena, who came
into the room, and improved even upon the visions of my
fancy by the reality of her charms. CogoUos introduced
me as the companion who had solaced the tedious hours
of his imprisonment. Yes, madam, said I to Donna
Helena, my conversation did indeed soothe his sorrows, for
it turned on you. The compliment was not thrown away,
and I took my leave with repeated congratulations. With
respect to Tordesillas, I assured him that within a week he
should know how far my power as well as will extended.

Nor were these mere words. On the very next day, the
opportunity occurred. Santillane, said his excellency, the
place of governor in the royal prison of Valladolid is vacant :
it is worth more than three hundred pistoles a year ; and is
yours if you will accept of it. Not if it were worth ten
thousand ducats, answered I, for it would carry me away
from your lordship. But, rephed the minister, you may
fill it by deputy, and only visit occasionally. That is as it
may be, rejoined I; but I shall only accept it on condition
of resigning in favour of Don Andrew de Tordesillas, a brave
and loyal gentleman ; I should like to give him this place in
acknowledgment of his kindness to me in the tower of Segovia.

This plea made the minister laugh heartily, and say:
As far as I see, Gil Bias, you mean to make yourself a
general patron. Even so be it, my friend; the vacancy is
yours for Tordesillas; but tell, me unfeignedly what fellow-
feeling you have in the business, for you are not such a fool
as to throw away your interest for nothing. My lord,
answered I, Don Andrew charged me nothing for all his
acts of friendship, and should not a man repay his obliga-
tions? You are become highly moral and self-mortified,
rephed his excellency; rather more so than under the last
administration. Precisely so, rejoined I; then evil com-
munication corrupted my principles ; bargain and sale were
the order of the day, and I conformed to the established
practice : now, all preferment is allotted on the footing of a
meritorious free gift, and my integrity shall not be the last
to fall in with the fashion.

Santillane's visit to Poet Nunez 347

CHAPTER XIV

SANTILLANE's visit to poet NUNEZ, THE COMPANY AND
CONVERSATION

One day, after dinner, a fancy seized me to go and see the
poet of the Asturias, feeling a sort of curiosity to know on
what floor he lodged. I repaired to the house of Signor Don
Bertrand Gomez del Ribero, and asked for Nunez. He
does not live here now, said the porter, but over the way, in
apartments at the back of the house. I went thither, and
crossing a small court, entered an unfurnished parlour,
where my friend Fabricio was sitting at table, doing the
honours to five or six guests from the hamlet and hberty
of Parnassus.

They were at the latter end of a feast, and of course at
the beginning of an affray; but as soon as they perceived
me, a dead silence succeeded to their obstreperous argu-
mentation. Nunez rose from his seat with much pomp and
circumstance of politeness to receive me, saying: Gentle-
men, Signor de Santillane! He does me the honour to
visit me under his humble roof; as the favourite of the
prime minister, you will all join with me in tendering
your humble services. At this introduction, the worship-
ful company got up and made their best bows ; for my rank
could not fail of procuring me respect from the manu-
facturers of dedications. Though I was neither hungry nor
thirsty, it was impossible not to sit down and drink a toast
in such society.

My presence appearing to be a restraint. Gentlemen, said
I, it should seem that I have interrupted your conversation :
resume it, or you drive me away. My learned friends,
said Fabricio, were discussing the " Iphigenia " of Euri-
pides. The bachelor, Melchior de Vill^gas, a clever man
of the first rank in the republic of letters, resumed the topic
by asking Don Jacinto de Romerate which was the point of
interest in that tragedy. Don Jacinto ascribed it to the
imminent danger of Iphigenia. The bachelor contended,
offering to prove his proposition by all the evidence ad-
missible at the bar of logic or criticism, that the danger
of a trumpery girl had nothing to do with the real sympathy

348 History of Gil Bias

of that affecting piece. What has to do with it then?
bawled the old licentiate Gabriel of Leon indignantly. It
turns with the wind, replied the bachelor.

The whole company burst into a shout of laughter at this
assertion, which they were far from considering as serious ;
and I myself thought that Melchior had only launched it
by way of adding the zest of wit to the severity of critical
discussion. But I was out in my calculation respecting the
character of that eminent scholar: he had not a grain of
sprightliness or pleasantry in his whole composition.
Laugh as you please, gentlemen, replied he, very coolly;
I maintain that there is no circumstance but the wind,
unless it be the weathercock, to interest, to strike, to rouse
the passions of the spectator. Figure to yourselves a
multitudinous army, assembled for the purpose of laying
siege to Troy ; take into account the eager haste of the officers
and common men to carry their enterprise into execution,
that they may return with their best legs foremost into
Greece, where they have left everything most dear to them,
their household gods, their wives and their children: all
this while a mischievous wind from the wrong quarter keeps
them port-bound at Aulis, and, as it were, drives a nail
into the very head of the expedition; so that till better
weather, it was impossible to go and lay siege to Priam's
town. Wind and weather therefore make up the interest
of this tragedy. My good wishes are with the Greeks : my
whole faculties are wrapped up in the success of their
design ; the sailing of their fleet is with me the only hinge of
the fable, and I look at the danger of Iphigenia with some-
what of a self-interested complacency, because by her
death the winding up of the story into a brisk and favour-
able gale was likely to be accelerated.

As soon as Vill^gas had finished his criticism, the laugh
burst out more than ever, at his expense. Nunez was sly
enough to side with him, that a fairer scope and broader
mark might be presented to the shafts of malicious wit
which were let fly from all the quarters in the shipman's card,
at this poster of the sea and land. But the bachelor,
eyeing them all with sublime indifference and supreme
contempt, gave them to understand how low in the list of
the ignorant and vulgar they ranked in his estimation.
Every moment did I expect to see these vapouring spirits

Gil Bias goes to Toledo 349

kindle into a blaze, and wage war against the hairy honours
of each other's brainless skulls: but the joke was not carried
to that length; they confined their hostihties to opprobrious
epithets, and took their leave when they had eaten and
drunk as much as they could get.

After their departure, I asked Fabricio why he had
separated himself from his treasurer, and whether they had
quarrelled. Quarrelled! answered he: Heaven defend me
from such a misfortune ! I am on better terms than ever
with Signor Don Bertrand, who gave his consent to my
Hving apart from him : here therefore I receive my friends,
and take my pleasure with them immolested. You know
very well that I am not of a temper to lay up treasures for
those who are to come after me; and as it happens luckily,
I am now in circumstances to give my httle classical enter-
tainments every day. I am dehghted at it, my dear Nunez,
replied I, and once more wish you joy on the success of your
last tragedy-: the great Lope, by his eight hundred dramatic
pieces, never made a quarter of the money which you have
got by the damnation of your " Count de Saldagna."

BOOK THE TWELFTH
CHAPTER I

GIL BLAS SENT TO TOLEDO BY THE MINISTER. THE PURPOSE
OF HIS JOURNEY AND ITS SUCCESS

For nearly a month his excellency had been saying to
me every day: Santillane, the time is approaching, when I
shall call your choicest powers of address unto action; but
the time that was coming never came. It is a long lane,
however, where there is no timiing; and his excellency at
length spoke to me nearly as follows: They say that there
is, in the company of comedians at Toledo, a young actress
of much note for her personal and professional fascinations;
it is affirmed that she dances and sings like all the muses
and graces put together, and that the whole theatre rings
with applause at her performance: to these perfections is
added matchless and irresistible beauty. Such a star should

350 History of Gil Bias

only shine within the circle of a court. The king has a
taste for the stage, for music, and for dancing : nor must he be
debarred from the pleasure of seeing and hearing such a
prodigy. I have determined on sending you to Toledo, that
you may judge for yourself whether she really is so extra-
ordinary an actress: on your feeling of her merit my
measures shall be taken; for I have unHmited confidence
in your discernment.

I undertook to bring his lordship a good account of this
business, and made my arrangements for setting out with
one servant, but not in the minister's livery, by way of con-
ducting matters more warily ; and that precaution relished
well with his excellency. On my arrival at Toledo, I had
scarcely aHghted at the inn, when the landlord, taking me
for some country gentleman, said: Please your honour,
you are probably come to be present at the august cere-
mony of an Auto da Fe to-morrow. I answered in the
affirmative, the more completely to mislead him, and keep
my own counsel. You will see, replied he, one of the pret-
tiest processions you ever saw in your Ufe: there are said
to be more than a hundred prisoners, and ten of them are
to be roasted.

In good truth, next morning, before sun-rise, I heard all
the bells in the town peal merrily; and the design of their
bob-majors was to acquaint the people that the pastime
was about to begin. Curious to see what sort of a recreation
it was, I dressed in a hurry, and posted to the scene of action.
All about that quarter, and along the streets where the
procession was to pass, were scaffolds, on one of which I
purchased a standing. The Dominicans walked first, pre-
ceded by the banner of the Inquisition. These Christian
fathers were immediately followed by the hapless victims
of the holy office, selected for this day's burnt-offering.
These devoted wretches walked one by one, with their head
and feet bare, each of them with a taper in his hand, and a
fiery, not baptismal godfather by his side. Some had large
yellow scapularies, worked with crosses of St Andrew, in
red ; others wore sugar-loaf caps of paper, illustrated with
flames, and diabolical figures of all sorts by way of emblem.

As I looked narrowly at these objects of religious gaze,
with a compassion in my heart which might have been
construed criminal, had it run over from my eyes, I fancied

Gil Bias goes to Toledo 3 5 i

that the reverend Father Hilary and his companion brother
Ambrose were among those who figured in the sugar-loaf
caps. They passed too near for me to be deceived. What
do I see ? thought I inwardly: heaven, wearied out with the
wicked Uves of these two scoundrels, has given them up to
the justice of the Inquisition ! My whole frame trembled
at the thought, and my spirits were scarcely equal to sup-
port me from fainting. My connection with these knaves,
the adventure at Xelva, all our pranks in partnership
rushed upon my memory, and I did not know how suffi-
ciently to thank God for having preserved me from St
Andrew's crosses and the painted devils on the paper caps.

When the ceremony was over I returned to the inn, with
my heart sickening at the dreadful sight; but painful im-
pressions soon wear away, and I thought only of my com-
mission and its due accompHshment. I waited with im-
patience for play-time, as the moment and scene of my
commencing operations. On the opening of the doors I
repaired to the theatre, and took my seat next to a knight
of Alcantara. We soon got into chat. Sir, said I, the
players here have been represented to me in very favourable
terms: may I give credit to general report ? The company
is not contemptible, replied the knight: they have some
first-rate performers; among the rest.'the peerless Lucretia,
an actress of fourteen, who will astonish you : and she plays
one of her best parts to-night.

On the drawing up of the curtain, two actresses came on,
with every advantage of dress and stage effect : but neither
of them could possibly be the object of my search. At
length Lucretia made her appearance at the back scene, and
walked forwards amidst a thunder of applause. Ah ! this
is she, indeed ! thought I ? and a delicate specimen of
lovehness, as I am a sinner! In her very first speech she
proved herself a child of nature, with energy and concep-
tion far above her years; and the approbation of a pro-
vincial audience Wcis confirmed by my metropolitan judg-
ment. The knight was happy to find I hked her, and
assured me that if I had heard her sing, my ears might have
rejoiced to the sorrow of my heart. Her dancing, too, he
represented as not less formidable to the free will of lordly
man. I inquired what youth, blessed as the immortal
gods, had the exquisite happiness of bringing himself to

352 History of Gil Bias

beggary for so sweet a girl. She is under no avowed pro-
tection, said he; and scandal has not coupled her name
with private licence; but Lucre tia must take care of her-
self, for she is under the wing of her aunt Estella ; and there
is not an actress in the company so warmly fledged for
hatching the tender passions into life.

At the name of Estella, I inquired with some eagerness
who she was. One of our best performers, said my infor-
mant. She does not play to-night, to our great loss, for
her cast is that of abigails, and she humours them to per-
fection. A little too broad, perhaps, but that is a fault on
the right side. From the features of the description, there
could be no doubt but this must be Laura; that lady so
notorious in these memoirs, whom I left at Grenada.

To make assurance doubly sure, I went behind the scenes
after the play. There she was, in the green-room, flirting
with some men of fashion, who probably endured the
aunt for the sake of the niece. I came up to pay my devo-
tions; but whim, or perhaps revenge for my cutting and
running from Grenada, determined her to put on the
stranger, and receive my compliments with so discouraging
a coldness, as to throw me into some little confusion.
Instead of laughing it off, I was fool enough to be angry,
and withdrew in a choleric determination to return next
day. Laura shall smart for this! said I; her niece shall
not appear at court; I will tell the minister that she dances
like a she bear, has formed her bravura between the scream
of a pea-hen and the cackle of a goose, acts like a puppet,
and comprehends like an idiot.

Such was my scheme of revenge, but it proved abor-
tive. Just as I was going out of town, a footboy brought
me the following note: " Forget and forgive, and follow
the bearer." I obeyed, and found Laura at her dressing-
table in very elegant apartments near the theatre.

She rose to welcome me, saying: Signor Gil Bias, you
have every reason to be offended at your reception behind
the scenes, which was out of character between such
old friends, but I really was most abominably discon-
certed. Just as you came up, one of our gentlemen had
brought me some scandalous stories about my niece, whose
honour has always been dearer to me than my own. On
coming to myself, I immediately sent my servant to find

Gil Bias goes to Toledo 353

you out, with the intention of making you amends to-day.
You have done so already, my dear Laura, said I, let us
therefore talk over old times. You may remember that I
left you in a very ticklish predicament, when conscience
and the fear of punishment drove me so precipitately from
Grenada. How did you get off with your Portuguese
lover ? Easily enough, answered Laura : do not you know
that in those cases men are mere fools, and acquit us
women without even caUing for our defence ?

I faced the Marquis of Marialva out, that you were my
very brother, and drew upon my impudence for the sup-
port of my credit. Do you not see, said I to my Portu-
guese dupe, that this is all the contrivance of jealousy and
rage ? My rival, Narcissa, infuriated at my possession of
a heart which she had vainly attempted to gain, has bribed
the candle-snuffer to assert that he has seen me as Arsenia's
waiting-woman at Madrid. It is an abominable false-
hood; the ^vidow of Don Antonio Coello has always been
too high in her notions, to be the hanger-on of a theatrical
mistress. Besides, what completely disproves the whole
allegation, is my brother's precipitate retreat: if he were
here, it would be a subject of evidence; but Narcissa
must have devised some stratagem to get him out of the
way.

These reasons, continued Laura, were not the most con-
vincing in the world, but they did very well for the mar-
quis; and that good, easy nobleman continued his con-
fidence till his return to Portugal. This happened soon
after your departure ; and Zapata's wife had the pleasure of
seeing me lose what she could not win. After this, I stayed
some years longer at Grenada, till the company was broken
up in consequence of some squabbles, which will take place
in mimic as well as in real Hfe: some went to Seville, others
to Cordova; and I came to Toledo, where I have been for
these ten years with my niece Lucretia, whose performance
you must have seen last night.

This was too much to be taken gravely. Laura in-
quired why I laughed. Can that be a question? said I.
You have neither brother nor sister, one or other of which
is a necessary ingredient in an aunt. Besides, when I
calculate in my mind the lapse of time since our last sepa-
ration, and compare that period with the age of your niece,
II N

354 History of Gil Bias

it is more than possible that your relationship may be in
nearer degree of kin.

I understand you, replied Don Antonio's widow, with
something like a moral tinge of red in her cheek; you are
an accurate chronologist ! There is no garbling facts in
defiance of your memory. Well, then! Lucretia is my
daughter by the Marquis of Marialva: it was extremely
wrong, but I cannot conceal it from you. The confession
must indeed be a shock to your modesty, said I, after
telling me yourself what pranks you played with the
hospital steward at Zamora. I must tell you moreover
that Lucretia is an article of so superior a quality as to render
you a public benefactor by having thrown her into the
market. It were to be wished that the stolen embraces of
all your fraternity might be blessed with fruitfulness, if
they could secure to themselves a patent for breeding after
your sample.

Should any sarcastic reader, comparing this passage with
some circumstances related while I was the marquis's
secretary, suspect me of being entitled to dispute the
honours of paternity with that nobleman, I blush to say,
that my claims are entirely out of the question.

I laid open my principal adventures to Laura in my
turn, as well as the present state of my affairs. She listened
with interest, and said : Friend Santillane, you seem to play
a principal part on the stage of the world, and I con-
gratulate you most heartily. Should Lucretia be engaged
at Madrid, I flatter myself she will find a powerful protector
in Signor de Santillane. Doubt it not, answered I: your
daughter may have her engagement whenever you please;
I can promise you that, without presuming too much on
my interest. I take you at your word, replied Laura,
and would set out to-morrow, were I not under articles
to this company. An order from court will cut the knot
of any articles, rejoined I; and that I take upon myself:
you shall have it within a week. It is an act of chivalry
to rescue Lucretia from Toledo : such a pretty little actress
belongs to the royal court, as parcel of the manor.

Lucretia came into the room just as I was talking of her.
The goddess Hebe herself never looked better in her best days :
it was nature in the bud, exhaling the sweets of her earliest
bloom, but promising a more luxuriant waste of treasure.

Santillane makes his Report 355

She was just up; and her natural beauty, without the aid
of art, communicated the most rapturous sensations.
Come, niece, said her mother, thank the gentleman for all
his kindness to us: he is an old friend of mine, who ranks
high at court, and undertakes to get us both an engagement
at the theatre royal. The little girl seemed to be much
pleased, and made me a low curtsey, saying with an en-
chanting smile: I most humbly thank you for your obhging
intention; but, by taking me from a partial audience, are
you certain that I shall not be looked down upon by that
of Madrid? I may but lose by the exchange. I remem-
ber hearing my aunt say, that she has seen players most
favourably received in one town, and hissed off the stage
in another; this absolutely frightens me; beware therefore
of exposing me to the derision of the court, and yourself
to its reproaches. Lovely Lucre tia, answered I, we have
neither of us anything to fear; I am rather apprehensive
lest, by the havoc you will make among hearts, you should
excite rivalships and kindle discord among the courtiers.
My niece's fears, said Laura, are better founded than yours ;
but I hope they will both prove vain: however feeble may
be Lucretia's charms of person, her talents as an actress
are at least above mediocrity.

We continued the conversation for some time: and I
could gather, from Lucretia's share in it, that she was a girl
of superior talents. On taking leave, I assured them that
they should immediately receive a sunmions to Madrid.

CHAPTER II

SANTILLANE MAKES HI^ REPORT TO THE MINISTER, WHO
COMMISSIONS HIM TO SEND FOR LUCRETIA. THE FIRST
APPEARANCE OF THAT ACTRESS BEFORE THE COURT

On my return, I found my lord duke impatient to be
informed of my success. Have you seen her? said he: is
she worth transplanting? My lord, answered I, fame,
which generally runs beyond all discretion in its report of
beauty, has erred on the side of parsimony in its estimate
of the matchless young Lucre tia; she is all that youthful
poets fancy when they feign, for personal attractions,

IT N2

356 History of Gil Bias

and all that veteran managers seek when they sign articles,
in scenic qualifications.

Is it possible? exclaimed the minister with a satisfac-
tion which involuntarily peeped out at his eyes, and
made me think he had some selfish hankerings after the
article of my marketing at Toledo ; is it possible ? and is
she really so charming a creature ? When you see her, re-
plied I, you will own that any verbal picture of her per-
fections must be altogether inadequate to their due descrip-
tion. His excellency then requiring a minute account of
my journey, I gave him all the particulars, not excepting
Laura's story, and Lucretia's parentage. His lordship
was delighted at the latter circumstance, and enjoined me,
with a cordial compliment on my skill in such dehcate
negociations, to finish as auspiciously as I had begun my
undertaking.

I went to look for Camero, and told him that it was his
excellency's pleasure he should make out an order for the
admission of Estella and Lucretia, actresses from the
Toledo theatre, into his majesty's company. Say you so,
Signor de Santillane? answered Carnero with a sarcastic
leer; you shall not be kept long in suspense, since you take
so marked an interest in the fortunes of these two ladies.
He expedited the order in my presence, and within a week
the mother and daughter sent me. notice of their arrival.
I immediately hastened to their lodging near the theatre,
and after an interchange of thanks on their part, and
assurances of continued support on mine, left them with my
best wishes for a brilliant career of success.

Their names were announced in the bills as two new
actresses, engaged by the special mandate of the court.
They made their first appearance in a play, which they
had been accustomed to perform in at Toledo with loud
and unanimous applause.

Novelty is the very life and soul of theatrical enter-
tainments. The house was uncommonly crowded, and I
of course was among the audience. I was rather fright-
ened before the curtain drew up. Prejudiced as I was ii
favour of the candidates, my alarm was in proportion to m]
interest. But when once they were fairly on the boards^
the din of welcome quieted all my apprehensions. Estells
was considered as a first-rate actress in comic parts, anc

Lucretia's appearance before the King 357

Lucretia as a female Roscius in heroines and love-sick
damsels. But the love which she feigned herself, she really
kindled in the hearts of the spectators. Some admired the
beauty of her eyes, others were touched with the plaintive
sweetness of her voice, and all, bowing to the triumph of
youth, vivacity, and elegance, went away in raptures with
her person.

My lord duke, who took an uncommon interest in this
theatrical event, was at the play that evening. I saw him
leave his box at the end of the piece, with evident approba-
tion of our new performers. Curious to know whether
they equalled his expectations, I followed him home, and
into his closet, saying: Well, my lord, is your excellency
well pleased with Uttle Marialva? My excellency, an-
swered he with a sly smile, must be very difficult to be
pleased, not to confirm the pubHc voice: yes, indeed, my
good friend, I am enraptured with your Lucretia, and
firmly believe that the king will not see her without emo-
tion,

CHAPTER III

lucretia's popularity; her appearance before the
king; his passion, and its consequences

Great was the noise about the court on this double
acquisition to the theatre; it became the topic of conver-
sation next day at the king's levee. The young Lucretia
was most in the mouths of the nobihty, who described her
so feelingly, that his majesty could not but imbibe the
impression, though he was too pohtic to express his interest
either in words or by looks.

To make amends for that restraint, he questioned the
minister as soon as he was alone with him, who stated the
success of a young actress from Toledo on the evening
before. Her name, added he, is Lucretia; and it is really a
pity that ladies of her profession should ever have been
christened by any less caste appellative. She is an ac-
quaintance of Santillane, who spoke so highly of her,
that I thought it right to engage her for your majesty's
company. The king smiled at the mention of my name,
recollecting, perhaps, through what channel he became

358 History of Gil Bias

acquainted with Catalina, and foreboding a like assistance
on the present occasion. Count, said he to the minister,
I mean to see this Lucretia act to-morrow, and will thank
you to let her know it.

I was of course sent with this intelligence to the two
actresses. Great news ! said I to Laura, whom I saw first :
you will have the sovereign of the Spanish monarchy
among your audience to-morrow, as the minister has
desired me to inform you. I cannot doubt but you will
both of you do your best to prove yourselves worthy of
a royal command; but I would advise you to choose a
piece with music and dancing, that all Lucretia's accom-
plishments may be displayed at one view. We will take
your counsel, answered Laura, and it shall not be our
faults if his majesty is disappointed. That can scarcely
happen, said I, seeing Lucretia come into the room in an
undress, which shewed her person to more advantage
than all the wardrobe of the theatre: he will be the more
deHghted with your lovely niece, because dancing and
music are his principal pleasures : he may even be tempted
to throw her the handkerchief. I do not at all wish,
repHed Laura, that he should be that way inclined; all-
powerful monarch as he is, he might not find the accom-
pHshment of his desires so easy. Lucretia, though brought
up behind the scenes, is not without virtuous principles;
whatever pleasure she may take in applause and profes-
sional reputation, she had much rather preserve the char-
acter of a good girl, than establish that of a great actress.

Aunt, said little Marialva, joining in the conversation,
why conjure up monsters only to lay them again? I
shall never be at a loss to repel the king's advances, because
his taste is too refined to stoop so low. But, charming
Lucretia, said I, if such a thing should happen, would you
be cruel enough to let him languish like a common lover ?
Why not ? answered she. Setting virtue aside, my vanity
would be more flattered by my own resistance than by the
tribute of his affection. I was not a little surprised to hear
a pupil of Laura's school talk so properly, and to find that
with so free an education she imbibed such unusual prin-
ciples of moraHty.

The king, impatient to see Lucretia, went to the play next
evening. The piece was got up with music and dancing,

I

Lucretia*s appearance before the King 359

to shew our young actress off to the best advantage. My
eyes were fixed on his majesty; but he completely eluded
my penetration by an obstinate gravity. On the following
day, the minister said: Santillane, I have just been with
the king, who has been talking about Lucretia, with so much
animation, that I doubt not but he is smitten: and, as I
told him that you had sent for her from Toledo, he ex-
pressed a wish to confer with you in private on the subject:
orders are given for your admittance; run, and bring me
back an account of what passes.

I flew to the palace, and found the king alone. He was
walking up and down, in much apparent perplexity. He
put several questions to me about Lucretia, made me relate
her history, and then asked whether the little jade had not
been tampering with chastity already. I boldly assured him
to the contrary, though such pledges were somewhat
hazardous in general; but mine was taken, and gave the
prince mjich pleasure. If so, repUed he, I select you for
my agent with Lucretia; let her become acquainted with
her triumph from your hps. He then put a box of jewels
into my hand, worth fifty thousand crowns, with a message
begging her acceptance of them, and promising more sub-
stantial proofs of his affection.

Before I went on my errand, I reported progress to my
lord duke. That minister, I thought, would be more vexed
than rejoiced at it; supposing that he had his own views
of gallantry towards Lucretia, and would learn with regret
the rivalship of his master; but I was mistaken. Far from
appearing chagrined, his joy was so excessive, that it would
ooze out at his tongue, in words which were not quite lost
on the hearer. " Indeed, friend Philip! then I have you
in my clutches: while your pleasures lead you, your busi-
ness must be left to me ! " This side speech explained
to me the plot; an amorous prince, and a long-headed
minister! My orders were to execute my commission
as speedily as possible, with the assurance that the first
lord in the land would be proud to stand in my shoes.
Besides, there was no pimp of rank, as in the former case,
to seize the profit and leave the infamy with me; the
honour and emolimient were now exclusively my own.

Thus did his excellency relish the ingredients of pandar-
ism to my palate; and I tasted them with the greediness,

360 History of Gil Bias

but not without the qualms of an epicure ; for since my im-
prisonment I had become regenerate, and did not take
pride in dirty work, because my employer washed his
hands in perfumed water. But though conscience was
awake, interest was not asleep. I was no longer a villain
for the fun of it; but my compliance would confirm my
footing with the minister, and him it was my duty, at all
events, to please.

My first appeal was to Laura in private. I opened the
negociation delicately, and presented my credentials in the
form of the jewel-box. The lady was thrown off her guard
by the display. Signor Gil Bias, cried she, you are one of
my oldest friends, and I must not play the hypocrite : strait-
laced morals are inconsistent with the discipline of my sect.
Nothing can be more dehghtful to me than a conquest,
which throws such a game into our hands. But, between
ourselves, I am afraid Lucretia is not so enHghtened as
we are; though a daughter of Thalia, she has taken the
better-behaved goddesses for her school-mistresses, and
given a rebuff to two young noblemen of amiable manners
and large fortunes. They were not kings, you will say,
and truly we may hope that Lucretia's virtue will be too
undisciplined to stand a royal siege ; but you must remem-
ber the event is hazardous, and I shall not interpose my
authority to compel her. If, far from thinking herself
honoured by the fleeting passion of the king, she should
revolt from his advances with disdain, let not our illus-
trious sovereign be offended at her reserve. But do you
come back hither to-morrow, aiid carry back either the
jewels, or a return of affection.

I had no doubt but Laura would tutor Lucretia in the
school of time-serving morahty, and depended much on
her instruction. It was therefore no smaU surprise to find
that Laura worked as much against wind and tide to launch
her daughter into the trade-wind of evil, as other maternal
pilots to set the sails of theirs in the contrary monsoon of
good ; and what is still more unaccountable, Lucretia, after
tasting of royal deHghts, was so completely surfeited with
the banquet as to throw herself at once into the arms of the
church, where she professed, feU sick, and died of grief.
Laura, disconsolate for the loss of her daughter, and the
part she herself had acted in the tragedy, retired into a

Santillane in a new Office 361

convent of female penitents, and did penance for the un-
hallowed pleasures of her former life. The king was
affected by his sudden loss, but soon found comfort in some
other pursuit. The premier talked httle on the subject,
but thought so much the more, as the reader will easily
believe.

CHAPTER IV

SANTILLANE IN A NEW OFFICE

My feelings were all alive to Lucretia's ill fate, and my
own infamy in having contributed to it. The royal wants
of the lover were no excuse for my taking the post of
cheapener, and I determined to resign the staff of office
in that department, entreating the minister to employ
me in some other. He was charmed with my nice sense
of honour^ and promised to comply with my scruples, laying
open his inmost heart in the following speech.

Some years before I was in office, chance threw me
across a lady of such shape and beauty as induced me to
trace her home. I learned that she was a Genoese, by
name Donna Margarita Spinola, supporting herself at
Madrid on the income arising from her beauty. It was
reported that Don Francisco de Val6asar, an officer about
the court, a rich man, an old man, and a married man.
laid out his money very freely on this hazardous specula-
tion. These rumours ought to have deterred me; but
they only whetted my desires to share with Val^asar. To
gain my end, I had recourse to a female broker of tender-
ness, who adjusted the terms of a private interview with
the Genoese; and the price current being settled, the
traffic was frequently repeated; it was an open market
for my rival and me, or possibly for many other bidders.

Let that be as it may, a choice boy was in the fulness of
time produced to the club, and the mother complimented
every member individually in private with the credit:
but we were each of us too modest to acknowledge a bant-
ling which had so probable a claim upon a better father;
so that the Genoese was compelled to maintain him on the
profits of her profession : this she did for eighteen years, and
dying at the end of that period, has left her son N^ithout a

362 History of Gil Bias

farthing, and what is worse, without an idea or an accom-
plishment.

Such, continued his lordship, is the confidence I meant
to repose in you, and I shall now lay open the great design
I have formed, to draw this unfortunate child from his
obscurity, reverse the colour of his fate, raise him to the
highest honours, and acknowledge him as my son.

At so extravagant a project it was impossible not to be
open-mouthed. What, sir, exclaimed I, can your ex-
cellency have adopted so strange a resolution? Excuse
my freedom; but my zeal cannot restrain itself. You will
be of my mind, replied he with eagerness, when I shall have
explained to you my motives. I have no mind that my
estates should descend in the collateral line. You will tell
me, that I am not so old as to despair of having children by
Madame d'Olivarez. But every one is best judge of his
own condition: know therefore that there is not a receipt
in the whole extent of chemistry which I have not tried, but
without effect, to appear once again in the character of a
father. Wherefore, since fortune, stepping in to cover the
defects of nature, presents me with a child whose parent
after all I may actually be, he is mine by adoption; that is
a settled point.

When I found the minister determined, I no longer argued
against his resolution, as knowing him to be a man who
would rather do a foolish act of his own, than adopt a wise
suggestion of another. It only remains now, added he, to
educate Don Henry Philip de Guzman; for by that name I
intend him to be known in the world, till the time arrives
when he may aspire to higher dignities. You, my dear
Santillane, I have chosen to superintend his conduct: I
have full confidence in your talents and friendship, to
regulate his household, direct his studies, and make him an
accomplished gentleman. I would wilHngly have declined
the office, as never having exercised the craft of a peda-
gogue, which required much more genius and solidity than
mine ; but he shut my mouth by saying it was his absolute
determination that I should be tutor to this adopted son,
whom he designed for the first offices of the monarchy. As
a bribe for my compliance, his lordship increased my little
income with a pension of a thousand crowns on the com-
mandery of Mambra.

Don Henry Philip de Guzman's Tutor 363

CHAPTER V

THE SON OF THE GENOESE IS ACKNOWLEDGED BY A LEGAL
INSTRUMENT, AND NAMED DON HENRY PHILIP DE GUZ-
MAN. SANTILLANE ESTABLISHES HIS HOUSEHOLD, AND
ARRANGES THE COURSE OF HIS STUDIES

The act of adoption was soon legalized with the king's
consent and good pleasure. Don Henry Philip de Guzman,
as this descendant from a committee of fathers was named,
became acknowledged successor to the earldom of Olivarez
and the duchy of San Lucar. The minister, to give the act
all possible pubUcity, communicated it through Camero to
the ambassadors and grandees of Spain, who were some-
what startled. The jokers of Madrid were not insensible to
the ridicule, and the satirical poets made their harvest of so
fine a subject for their pen.

I asked my lord duke where my pupil was. Here in
town, answered he, with an aunt from whom I shall remove
him as soon as you have got a house ready. This I did
immediately, and furnished it magnificently. When my
estabUshment was complete in servants and officers, his
excellency sent for this equivocal production, this spurious
offset from the renowned stock of the Guzmans. The lad
was tall and personable. Don Henry, said his lordship,
pointing to me, this gentleman is to be your tutor and intro-
duce you into the world ; he has my entire confidence, and
an unlimited authority over you. After much good advice,
and many compliments to me, the minister retired, and I
took Don Henry home.

As soon as we got thither, I introduced him to his house-
hold, and explained the nature of each individual's employ-
ment. He did not seem at all disconcerted at the change of
circumstances, but received the obeisances of his depend-
ants as if he had been a lord by nature, and not by chance.
He was not without mother-wit, but ignorant in a deplorable
degree; he could scarcely read and write. I gave him
masters for the Latin grammar, geography, history, and
fencing. A dancing-master of course was not forgotten;
but in an affair of the first consequence, selection was diffi-
cult, for there were more eminent professors of that art in

364 History of Gil Bias

Madrid than of all the languages and sciences put to-
gether.

While I was pondering on this difficulty, a man gaudily
dressed came into the court-yard and inquired for me. I
went down, supposing him to be at least a knight of some
military or privileged order. Signor de Santillane, said he,
with a profusion of bows which anticipated his Hne in life, I
am come to offer you my services as Don Henry's governor.
My name is Martin Ligero, and I have, thank heaven, some
reputation in the world. I have no occasion to canvass for
scholars; that is all very well for petty dancing-masters!
My custom is to wait till I am sent for ; but being a sort of
appendage to the house of Guzman, and having taught its
various branches for a long period, I thought it a point of
respect to wait on you first. I perceive, answered I, that
you are just the man we want. What are your terms ?
Four double pistoles a month, answered he, and I give but
two lessons a week. Four doubloons a month ! cried I, that
is an exorbitant price. Exorbitant! rejoined he with
astonishment ; why, it is not more than eight times as much
as you would give to a mathematical master or a Greek
professor.

There was no resisting so ludicrous a comparison of merit ;
I laughed outright, and asked Signor Ligero whether he
really thought his talents worth more than those of the first
proficients in learning and science. Most assuredly, said he ;
at least, if you measure our pretensions by their respective
utility. What sort of machines may those be which are
fashioned under their hands ? Jointless puppets, unlicked
cubs, open-mouthed and impenetrable shell-fish; but our
lessons supple and render pliant the intractable stiffness of
their component parts, and bring them insensibly into shape :
in short, we communicate to them a graceful motion, a
polite address, the carriage of good company, and the out-
ward marks of elevated rank.

I could not but give way to such cogent arguments in
favour of the dancing-master's occupation, and engaged
him about Don Henry's person without haggling as to terms,
since those specified were only at the rate established by the
leading professors of the art.

A Patent of Nobility for Gil Bias 365

CHAPTER VI

SCIPIO'S RETURN FROM NEW SPAIN. GIL BLAS PLACES HIM
ABOUT DON henry's PERSON. THAT YOUNG NOBLE-
MAN'S course of study. his career of HONOUR,
AND HIS father's MATRIMONIAL SPECULATION ON HIS
BEHALF. A PATENT OF NOBILITY CONFERRED ON GIL
BLAS AGAINST HIS WILL

I HAD not yet half arranged Don Henry's household,
when Scipio returned from Mexico. He brought with him
three thousand ducats in cash, and merchandise to double
the amount. I wish you joy, said I ; the foundation of your
fortune is laid ; and if you prefer a snug berth at Madrid to
the risk of going back, you have only to tell me so. There
is no question about that, said the son of Coselina: a genteel
situation at home is far preferable to a second voyage.

After relating the birth and adventures of the httle adopt-
ed Guzman, and my own appointment as tutor, I offered
him the situation of upper servant to this babe of chance:
Scipio, who could have devised nothing better for himself,
readily accepted the office, and within the small space of
three or four days got the length of his new master's foot.

I had taken it for granted that the verb-grinders and
concord-manufacturers to whom I had given the plant of
this Genoese bastard would lose stock and block, under the
idea that he was of an intractable and profitless age; but
my forebodings were completely reversed. He not only
comprehended, but easily retained the lessons of his masters,
and they were very well satisfied with him. I was in an
enormous hurry to greet the ears of my lord duke with this
intelligence, and he received it with abundant joy. Santil-
lane, exclaimed he with delight, you give me new life by the
assurance of Don Henry's capacity and application: it runs
in the blood of the Guzmans ; and I am the more confirmed
in his being unquestionably my own, because I am just as
fond of him as if Madame d'Ohvarez herself had lain in of
the brat in due form under this very roof. The voice of
nature, you perceiva, will make itself heard. I thought it
unnecessary to give his lordship any opinion on that subject ;
but with a dehcate deference to his credulity, left him to

366 History of Gil Bias

enjoy his fancied paternity in peace, whether well or ill
founded.

Though all the Guzmans held this clod of newly turned
up nobility in utter scorn, they were politic enough to smooth
over the corrugations of their contempt ; nay, some of them
even affected to languish for his good opinion : the ambassa-
dors and principal nobility then at Madrid waited on him,
with all the ceremony appertaining to the rank of a legiti-
mate son. The minister, intoxicated with the fumes of
incense offered to his idol, began to build a temple worthy
of the worship. The cross of Alcantara was the foundation,
with a commandery of ten thousand crowns. The next
step was to a high of&ce in the royal household, and the
completion of the whole was matrimony. Wishing to con-
nect him with a family of the first rank, he picked out Donna
Johanna de Velasco, daughter to the Duke of Castile, and
had influence enough to accomplish the alliance, though
against the will of the Duke and of all his kindred.

Some days before the nuptial ceremony, his lordship put
some papers into my hand, saying : Here, Gil Bias, is a patent
of nobility which I have procured as the reward of your
services. My lord, answered I, in much astonishment, your
excellency knows very well that I am the son of an usher and
a duenna : it would be caricaturing the peerage to confer it
on me; and besides, of all the boons in his majesty's power
to bestow, it is that which I deserve and desire the least.
Your birth, replied the minister, is a slight objection. You
have been employed on affairs of state under the Duke of
Lerma's administration and under mine : besides, added he
with a smile, have you not rendered some things to Caesar,
which Csesar is bound, on the honour of a prince, to render
back in another shape ? To deal candidly, Santillane, you
will make just as good a lord as the best of them; nay, more
than that, your high office about my son is incompatible with
plebeian rank, and therefore have I procured you to be
created. Since your excellency will have it so, rephed I,
there is no more to be said. So, saying no more, I put my
new-blown honours in my pocket, and walked off.

Now can I make any Joan a lady ! said I to myself when I
had got into the street: but it was not the handy-work of
my parents that made me a gentleman. I may add a foot
of honour to my name whenever I please ; and if any of my

A Word to the Wise from Nunez 367

acquaintance should snuff or snigger when they call me
Don, I may suck my teeth, lean upon my elbow, and draw
out my credentials of heraldry. But let us see what they
contain; and how the corporeal particles, which have ac-
crued during my artificial contact with the court, are dis-
tinguished by genealogical metaphysics from the native clay
of my original extraction. The instrument ran thus in
substance: That the king in acknowledgment of my zeal in
more than one instance for his service and the good of the
state, had been graciously pleased to confer tlSs mark of
distinction on me. I may safely say that the recollection of
the act for which I was promoted effectually kept down my
pride. Neither did the bashfulness of low birth ever forsake
me; so that nobility to me was like a hair shirt to a penitent:
I determined therefore to lock up the evidences of my shame
in a private drawer, instead of blazoning them to dazzle the
eyes of the foolish and corrupt.

CHAPTER VII

AN ACCIDENTAL MEETING BETWEEN GIL BLAS AND FABRICIO.
THEIR LAST CONVERSATION TOGETHER, AND A WORD TO
THE WISE FROM NUNEZ

The poet of the Asturias, as the reader, if he thought of
him, may have remarked, was very negligent in his inter-
course with me. It was not to be expected, that my employ-
ments would leave me time to go and look after him. I had
not seen him since the critical discussion touching the
Iphigenia of Euripides, when chance threw me across him,
as he came out of a printing-house. I accosted him, saying :
So ! so ! Master Nunez, you have got among the printers :
this looks as if we were threatened with some new produc
tion.

You may indeed prepare yourselves for such an event,
answered he: I have a pamphlet just ready for publication
which is likely to make some noise in the hterary world.
There can be no question about its merit, replied I : but I
cannot conceive why you waste your time in writing pam-
phlets: it should seem as if such squibs and rockets were
scarcely worth the powder expended in their manufacture.

368 History of Gil Bias

It is very true, rejoined Fabricio: and I am well aware that
Qone but the most vulgar gazers are caught by such holiday
fire-works: however, this single one has escaped me, and I
must own that it is a child of necessity. Hunger, as you
know, will bring the wolf out of the forest.

What! exclaimed I, is it the author of the " Count of
Saldagna " who holds this language ? A man with an
annuity of two thousand crowns ? Gently, my friend, inter-
rupted Nunez: I am no longer a pensioned poet. The
affairs of the treasurer Don Bertrand are all at sixes and
sevens : he has been at the gaming table, and played with the
public money: an extent has issued, and my rent-charge is
gone posthaste to the devil. That is a sad affair, said I : but
may not matters come round again in that quarter? No
chance of it, answered he: Signor Gomez del Ribero, in
plight as destitute as that of his poor bard, is sunk for ever;
nor can he, as they say, by any possible contrivance be set
afloat again.

In that case, my good friend, replied I, we must look out
for some post which may make you amends for the loss of
your annuity. I will ease your conscience on that score,
said he : though you should offer me the wealth of the Indies
as a salary in one of your offices, I would reject the boon:
clerkships are no object to a partner in the firm of the
Muses; a literary berth, or absolute starvation for your
humble servant ! If you must have it plump, I was bom
to live and die a poet, and the man whose destiny is hanging,
will never be drowned.

But do not suppose, continued he, that we are altogether
forlorn and destitute: besides that we accommodate the
requisites of independence to our finances, we do not look
far beyond our noses in calculating the average of our
fortunes. It is insinuated that we often dine with the most
abstemious orders of the rehgious; but our sanctity in this
particular is too credulously imputed. There is not one
of my brother wits, without excepting the calculators of
almanacs, who has not a plate laid for him at some sub-
stantial table : for my own part, I have the run of two good
houses. To the master of one I have dedicated a romance ;
and he is the first commissioner of taxes who was ever
associated with the Muses: the other is a rich tradesman
in Madrid, whose lust is to get wits about him; he is not

Fabricio's Hint not without Foundation 369

nice in his choice, and this town furnishes abundance to
those who value wit more by quantity than quality.

Then I no longer feel for you, said I to the poet of the
Asturias, since you are satisfied in your condition. But be
that as it may, I assure you once more, that you have a
friend in Gil Bias, however you may sHght him: if you
want my purse, come and take it: it will not fail you at a
pinch ; and you must not stand between me and my sincere
friendship.

By that burst of sentiment, exclaimed Nunez, I know
and thank my friend Santillane : in return, let me give you
a salutary caution. While my lord duke is in his meridian,
and you are all in all with him, reap, bind, and gather in
your harvest : when the sun sets, the gleaners are sent home.
I asked Fabricio whether his suspicions were surely founded ;
and he returned me this answer. My information comes
from an old knight of Calatrava, who pokes his nose into
secrets of all sorts; his authority passes current at Madrid,
much as that of the Pythian newsmongers did through
Greece; and thus his oracle was pronounced in my hearing:
My lord duke has a host of enemies in battle-array against
him; he reckons too securely upon his influence with the
king; for his majesty, as the report goes, begins to take in
hostile representations with patience. I thanked Nunez
for his friendly warning, but without much faith in his pre-
diction: my master's authority seemed rooted in the court,
Hke the tempest-scoffing firmness of an oak in the native
soil of the forest.

CHAPTER VIII

GIL BLAS FINDS THAT FABRICIO'S HINT WAS NOT WITHOUT
FOUNDATION. THE KING'S JOURNEY TO SARAGOSSA

The poet of the Asturias was no bad politician. There
was a court plot against the duke, with the queen at the
bottom ; but their plans were too deeply laid to bubble at
the surface. During the space of a whole year, my sim-
plicity was insensible to the brewing of the tempest.

The revolt of the Catalans, with France at their back,
and the ill success of the war for their suppression, excited
the murmurs of the people, and whetted their tongues

370 History of Gil Bias

against government. A council was held in the royal
presence, and the Marquis de Grana, the emperor's ambassa-
dor, was specially requested to assist. The subject in
debate was whether the king should remain in Castile, or go
and take the command of his troops in Arragon. The
minister spoke first, and gave it as his opinion that his
majesty should not quit the seat of government. All the
members supported his arguments, with the exception of
the Marquis de Grana, whose whole heart was with the
house of Austria, and the sentiments of his soul on the tip
of his tongue, after the homely honesty of his nation. He
argued so forcibly against the minister, that the king em-
braced his opinion from conviction, though contrary to the
vote of council, and fixed the day when he would set out
ibr the army.

This was the first time that ever the sovereign had
differed from his favourite, and the latter considered it as an
inexpiable affront. Just as the minister was withdrawing
to his closet, there to bite upon the bridle, he espied me,
called me in, and told me with much discomposure what
had passed in debate: Yes, Santillane, observed he, the
king, who for the last twenty years has spoken only through
my mouth, and seen mth my eyes, is now to be wheedled
over by Grana; and that on the score of zeal for the house
of Austria, as if that German had a more Austrian soul in
his body than myself.

Hence it is easy to perceive, continued the minister, that
there is a strong party against me, with the queen at the
head. Heaven forbid it, said I. Has not the queen for
upwards of twelve years been accustomed to your para-
mount authority, and have you not taught the king the
knack of not consulting her ? The desire of making a cam-
paign may for once have enlisted his majesty on the side of
the Marquis de Grana. Say rather that the king, argued
my lord duke, will be surrounded by his principal officers
when in camp ; and then the disaffected will find their oppor-
tunity for poisoning him against my administration. But
they overreach themselves; for I shall completely insulate
the prince from all their approaches; and so he did, in a
manner which, for example, deserves not to be passed over.

The day of the king's departure being arrived, the
monarch, leaving the queen regent, proceeded for Sara-

Disgrace of the Prime Minister 371

gossa by way of Aranjuez; a delightful residence, where he
whiled away three weeks. Cuen9a was the next stage,
where the minister detained him still longer by a succession
of amusements. A hunting party was contrived at Molina
in Arragon, and hence there was no choice of road but to
Saragossa. The army was near at hand, and the king was
preparing to review it: but his keeper sickened him of the
project, by making him beheve that he would be taken by
the French, who were in force in the neighbourhood; so
that he was cowed by a groundless apprehension, and con-
sented to be a prisoner in his own court. The minister,
from an affectionate regard to his safety, secluded him from
all approach: so that the principal nobility, who had
equipped themselves at enormous charges to be about his
person, could not even procure an occasional audience.
Philip, weary of bad lodgings and worse recreation at Sara-
gossa, and perhaps feeling himself scarcely his own master,
soon returned to Madrid. Thus ended the royal campaign,
and the care of maintaining the honour of the Spanish
colours was left to the Marquis de los Velez, conunander-
in-chief.

CHAPTER IX

THE REVOLUTION OF PORTUGAL, AND DISGRACE OF THE
PRIME MINISTER

A FEW days after the king's return, an alarming report
prevailed at Madrid, that the Portuguese, considering the
Catalan revolt as an opportunity offered them by fortune
for throwing off the Spanish yoke, had taken arms, and
chosen the Duke of Braganza for their king, with a full
determination of supporting him on the throne. In this
they conceived that they did not reckon without their host;
because Spain was then embroiled in Germany, Italy, Flan-
ders, and Catalonia. They could not in fact have hit
upon a crisis more favourable for their deliverance from
so galling a yoke.

It was a strange circumstance, that while both court and
city were struck with consternation at the news, my lord
duke attempted to joke with the king, and make the Duke
of Braganza his butt; Philip, however, far from falling in

372 History of Gil Bias

with this ill-timed pleasantry, assumed a serious air, of ill
omen to the minister, who felt his seat to totter under him.
The queen was now his declared enemy, and openly accused
him of having caused the revolt of Portugal by his mis-
conduct. The nobility in general, and especially those who
had been at Saragossa, when they saw a cloud gathering
about the minister, joined the queen's party i^ but the
decisive blow was the return of the duchess dowager of
Mantua from her government of Portugal to Madrid; for
she proved clearly to the king's conviction that the counsels
of his own cabinet produced the revolution.

His majesty, deeply impressed with what he had heard,
was now completely recovered from every symptom of
partiality towards his favourite. The minister, finding
that his enemies were in possession of the. royal ear, wrote
for permission to resign his employments, and retire from
court, since all the poHtical mischances of the time were
ascribed to his personal dehnquency. He expected a letter
like this to produce a wonderful effect, reckoning as he did
upon the prince's private friendship, which could scarcely
brook a separation: but his majesty's answer undeceived
him, by laconically compl3dng with his ostensible wish
to withdraw.

Such a sentence of banishment in the king's own hand-
writing came like a thunder-storm in harvest; but though
destruction to his long-cherished hopes, he affected the
serene look of constancy, and asked me what I would do
in his circumstances. I would drive before the wind, said
I; renounce the ungrateful court, and pass the remainder
of my days in peace on my own estate. You counsel
wisely, replied my master, and I shall set out for Loeches,
there to finish my career, after one more interview with
his majesty: for I could wish just to convince him that I
have done what man can do to support the heavy load of
state upon my shoulders, and that it was not within the
compass of possibility to prevent the unfortunate events
which are imputed to me as a crime. It were equally
reasonable to charge the pilot with the wrecking fury of
the storm, and make him answerable for the uncontrolled

* At length his sovereign frowns — the train of state
Mark the keen glance, and watch the sign to hate.

Johnson's Imitation of Juvenal's Tenth Satire.

A Difficult Weaning from the World 373

power of the elements. Thus did the minister inwardly
flatter himself that he could set things to rights again, and
once more fix firm the seat which was shaking under him ;
but he could not procure an audience, and was even com-
manded to resign his key of private admission into his
majesty's closet.

This last requisition convinced him that there was no
hope; and he now made up his mind in earnest for retire-
ment. He looked over his papers, and had the prudence
to bum a good number, he then selected a small household
for his retreat, and publicly announced his departure for the
next day. Apprehending insult from the mob, if the time
and manner of his setting out were pubhc, he escaped early
in the morning through the kitchens out at the back door,
got into a shabby, hired carriage, with his confessor and
me, and reached in safety the road leading to Loeches,
a village on his own estate, where his countess had founded
a magnificent convent of Dominican nuns.

CHAPTER X

A DIFFICULT, BUT SUCCESSFUL, WEANING FROM THE WORLD.
THE minister's EMPLOYMENTS IN HIS RETREAT

Madame d'Olivarez stayed behind her husband some
few days, with the intention of trying what her tears and
entreaties might do towards his recall ; but in vain did she
prostrate herself before their majesties: the king paid not
the least attention to her pleadings and remonstrances,
though artfully adapted for effect; and the queen, who
hated her mortally, took a savage pleasure in her tears.
The minister's lady, however, was not easily discouraged:
she stooped so low as to sohcit their good oflices from the
ladies of the bed-chamber; but the fruit of all this mean-
ness was only the sad conviction that it excited more
contempt than pity. Heart-broken at having degraded
herself by supplications so humiliating, and yet so un-
avaihng, she departed to her husband, and mourned with
him the loss of a situation, which under a reign like that
of Philip the Fourth, was httle short of sovereign power.

The accoimts her ladyship brought from Madrid were

374 History of Gil Bias

wormwood to the duke. Your enemies, said she, sobbing,
with the Duke of Medina CeH at their head, are loud in the
king's praises for your removal; and the people triumph
in your disgrace with an insolent joy, as if the cloud of
adversity were to be dispelled by the breath which dis-
solved your administration. Madam, said my master,
follow my example; suppress your discontent: we must
drive before the storm, when we cannot weather it. I did
think, indeed, that my favour would only be eclipsed with
the lamp of life : a common illusion of ministers and favour-
ites, who forget that they breathe but at the good pleasure
of their sovereign. Was not the Duke of Lerma as much
mistaken as myself, though fondly relying on his purple,
as a pledge for the lasting tenure of his authority ?

Thus did my lord duke preach patience to the partner
of his cares, while his own bosom heaved under the direst
pressure of anxiety. The frequent dispatches from Don
Henry, who was staying about the court to pick up infor-
mation, kept him continually on the fret. Scipio was the
messenger; for he was still about the person of that young
nobleman, though I had rehnquished my post on his mar-
riage. Sometimes we heard of changes in the inferior
departments of office, solely for the purpose of wreaking
vengeance on his creatures, and filling up the vacancies
with his enemies. Then Don Lewis de Haro was repre-
sented as advancing in favour, and likely to be made prime
minister. But the most mortifying circumstance of all
was the change in the viceroyalty of Naples, which was
taken from his friend, the Duke de Medina de las Torres,
and bestowed on the High Admiral of Castile, who was
his bitterest enemy. For this there was no other motive
but the pleasure of giving pain to a fallen favourite.

For the first three months, his lordship gave himself up
in his solitude a prey to disappointment and regret: but
his confessor, a holy and pious Dominican, supporting his
religious zeal with manly eloquence, succeeded in pouring
the balm of consolation into his soul. By continually
representing to him, with apostolic energy, that his eternal
salvation was now the only object worth his care, he
weaned him gradually from the uses of this world. His
excellency was no longer panting for news from Madrid,
but learning a new and important lesson, how to die. Ma-

His Lordship changes for the Worse 375

dame d'Olivarez too, making a virtue of necessity, sought
refuge for herself in the maternal guardianship of her con-
vent, where Providence had reared up, for her edification in
faith and good works, a sisterhood of holy maidens, whose
spiritual discourses fed her soul, as if with manna in the
wilderness. My master's peace within his own bosom
advanced, as he withdrew more backward from sublunary
things. The employment of his day was thus laid out:
almost the whole morning was devoted to religious duties,
till dinner-time; and after dinner, for about two hours, he
played at different games with me and some of his confi-
dential domestics: he then generally retired alone into
his closet till sunset, when he walked round his garden, or
rode out into the neighbourhood either with his confessor
or me.

One day when I was alone with him, and was particu-
larly struok with his apparent self-complacency, I took the
Hberty of congratulating his lordship on his complete
reconciliation to retirement. Use, however late acquired, is
second nature, answered he: for though I have all my life
been accustomed to the bustle of business, I assure you that
I become every day more and more attached to this calm
and peaceful mode of life.

CHAPTER XI

A CHANGE IN HIS LORDSHIP FOR THE WORSE. THE MAR-
VELLOUS CAUSE, AND MELANCHOLY CONSEQUENCES,
OF HIS DEJECTION

His excellency sometimes amused himself with garden-
ing, by way of variety. One day as I was watching his
progress, he said jokingly: You see, Santillane, a fallen
minister can turn gardener at last. Nature will prevail,
my lord, answered I. You plant and water something
useful at Loeches, while Dionysius of Syracuse whipped
school-boys at Corinth. My master was not displeased
either with the comparison or the compliment.

We were all delighted at the castle to see our protector,
rising above the cloud of adversity, take pleasure in so
novel a mode of life: but we soon perceived an alarming

376 History of Gil Bias

change. He became gloomy, thoughtful, and melan-
choly. Our parties at play were all given up, and no
efforts could succeed to divert his mind. From dinner-
time till evening he never left his closet. We thought the
dreams of vanished greatness had returned to break his
rest; and in this opinion the reverend Dominican gave the
rein to his eloquence; but it could not outstrip the course
of that hypochondriac malady, which triumphed over all
opposition.

It seemed to me there was some deeper cause, which it
behoved a sincere friend to fathom. Taking advantage of
our being alone together. My lord, said I, in a tone of
mingled respect and affection, whence is it that you are
no longer so cheerful as heretofore ? Has your philosophy
lost ground ? or has the world recovered its allurements ?
Surely you would not plunge again into that gulf, where
your virtue must inevitably be shipwrecked ! No, heaven
be praised! replied the minister: my part at court has long
faded from my memory, and its trappings from my eyes.
Indeed! why then, resumed I, since you have strength
enough to banish false regrets, are you so weak as to
indulge a melancholy which alarms us aU? What is the
matter ^Adth you, my dear master? continued I, falling
at his knees: some secret sorrow preys upon you: can
you hide it from Santillane, whose zeal, discretion, and
fidelity you have so often experienced ? WTiy am I so un-
happy as to have lost 57our confidence ?

You still possess it, said his lordship : but I must own, it
is reluctantly that I shaU reveal the subject of my dis-
tress: yet the importunities of such a friend are irre-
sistible. To no one else could I impart so singular a con-
fidence. Yes, I am the prey of a morbid melancholy which
eats inwardly into my vitals: a spectre haunts me every
moment, arrayed in the most terrific form of preternatural
horror. In vain have I argued with myself that it is a
vision of the brain, an unreal mockery: its continual pre-
sentments blast my sight, and unseat my reason. Though
my understanding teaches me, that in looking on this
spectre I stare at vacancy, my spirits are too weak to
derive comfort from the conviction. Thus much have you
extorted from me: now judge whether the cause of my
melancholy is fit to be divulged.

His Lordship changes for the Worse 377

With equal grief and astonishment did I listen to the
strange ccnfession, which implied a total derangement of
the nervous system. This, my lord, said I, must proceed
from injudicious abstinence. So I thought at first, an-
swered he; and to try the experiment, I have been eating
more than usual for some days past ; but it is all to no pur-
pose, the phantom takes his stand as usual. It will vanish,
said I, if your excellency will only divert your mind by your
accustomed relaxations with your household. Company
and gentle occupation are the best remedies for these affec-
tions of the spirits.

In a short time after this conversation, his lordship
became seriously indisposed, and sent for two notaries
from Madrid, to make his will. Three capital physicians
followed in their track, who had the reputation of curing
their patients now and then. As soon as it was noised
about the castle that these last undertakers were arrived,
the case was given up for lost; weeping and gnashing of
teeth took place universally, and the family mourning was
ordered. They brought with them their usual under-
strappers, an apothecary and a surgeon.^ The notaries
were suffered to earn their fee first, after which death's
notaries prepared to take a bond of the patient. They
practised in the school of Sangrado, and from their very
first consultation, ordered bleeding so frequently and freely,
that in six days they brought his lordship to the point of
death, and on the seventh delivered him from the terror
of his sprite.

After the minister's decease, a lively and sincere sorrow
reigned in the castle of Loeches. The whole household
wept bitterly. Far from deriving consolation from the
certainty of being remembered in his will, there was not a
dependent who would not wiUingly have saved his life
by the sacrifice of the legacy. As for me, whom he most
delighted in, attached to him as I was from disinterested
friendship, my grief was more acute than that of the rest.
I question whether Antonia cost me more tears.
1 Behind him sneaks
Another mortal, not unlike himself,
Of jargon full, with terms obscure o'ercharged,
Apothecary call'd, whose foetid hands
With power mechanic, and with charms arcane,
Apollo, god of medicine, has endued. — Bramston.

378 History of Gil Bias

CHAPTER XII

THE PROCEEDINGS AT THE CASTLE OF LOECHES AFTER HIS
lordship's death, and the course WHICH SAN-
TILLANE ADOPTED

The minister, according to his last injunctions, was
buried without pomp and without procession in the con-
vent, with a dirge of our lamentations. After the funeral,
Madame d'OHvarez caUed us together to hear the wiU
read, with which the household had good reason to be satis-
fied. Every one had a legacy proportioned to his claim,
and none less than two thousand crowns: mine was the
largest, amounting to ten thousand pistoles, as a mark of
his singular regard. The hospitals were not forgotten, and
provision was made for an annual commemoration in
several convents.

Madame d'OHvarez sent all the household to Madrid
to receive their legacies from Don Raymond Caporis,
who had orders to pay them; but I could not be of the
party, in consequence of a violent fever from distress of
mind, which confined me to the castle for more than a
week. During that time, the reverend Dominican paid
me aU possible attention. He had conceived a friendship
for me, which was not confined to my worldly interests,
and was anxious to know how I meant to dispose of myself
on my recovery. I answered that I had not yet made up
my mind upon the subject: there were moments when my
feehngs strongly prompted towards a religious vow. Pre-
cious moments! exclaimed the Dominican, you will do
well to profit by them. I advise you as a friend to retire
to our convent at Madrid, for example; there to become a
pious benefactor by the free gift of your whole fortune, and
to die in the livery of Saint Dominic. Many very ques-
tionable Christians have made amends for a life of sin
by so holy an end.

In the actual disposition of my mind, this advice was not
unpalatable; and I promised to reflect upon it. But on
consulting Scipio, who came to see me immediately after
the monk, he treated the very notion as the phantom of a
distempered brain. For shame! said he; does not your

Proceedings at the Castle of Loeches 379

estate at Lirias offer a more eligible seclusion? If you
were delighted with it formerly, the charm will be increased
tenfold, now that the lapse of years has moderated your
sense of pleasure, and softened down your taste to the
simple beauties of nature.

It was no difficult matter to operate a change in my
inclinations. My friend, said I, you carry it decidedly
against the advocate of Saint Dominic. We will go back
to Lirias as soon as I am well enough to travel. This hap-
pened shortly; for as the fever subsided, I soon felt myself
sufficiently strong to put my design in execution. We went
first to Madrid. The sight of that city gave me far other
sensations than heretofore. As I knew that almost its
whole population held in horror the memory of a minister,
of whom I cherished the most affectionate remembrance,
I could not feel at my ease within its precincts. My stay
was therefore limited to five or six days, while Scipio was
making the necessary arrangements for our rustication.
In the mean time, I waited on Caporis, and received m\'
legacy in ready money. I hkewise made my arrangements
with the receivers for the regular remittance of my pen-
sions, and settled aU my affairs in due order.

The evening before our departure, I asked the son of
Coselina whether he had received his farewell from Don
Henry. Yes, answered he, we took leave of each other this
morning with mutual civihty; he went so far as to ex-
press his regret that I should quit him; but however well
satisfied he might be with me, I am by no means so vriih
him. Mutual content is hke a river, which must have its
banks on either side. Besides, Don Henry makes but a
pitiful figure at court now; he has fallen into utter con-
tempt; people point at him with their finger in the streets.
and call him a Genoese bastard. Judge, then, for your-
self, whether it is consistent with my character to keep up
the connection.

We left Madrid one morning at sunrise, and went for
Cuen9a. The following was the order of our equipment;
we two in a chaise and pair, three mules, laden with bag-
gage and money, led by two grooms and two stout footmen,
well armed, in the rear; the grooms wore sabres, and the
postiHon had a pair of pistols in his holsters. As we were
seven men in all, and six of us determined fellows, I took

380 History of Gil Bias

the road gaily, without trembhng for my legacy. In the
villages through which we passed our mules chimed their
bells merrily, and the peasants ran to their doors to see
us pass, supposing it to be at least the parade of some noble-
man going to take possession of some viceroyalty.

CHAPTER XIII

THE RETURN OF GIL BLAS TO HIS SEAT. HIS JOY AT FINDING
HIS GOD-DAUGHTER SERAPHINA MARRIAGEABLE; AND
HIS OWN SECOND VENTURE IN THE LOTTERY OF LOVE

We were a fortnight on our journey to Lirias, having no
occasion to make rapid stages. The sight of my own do-
main brought melancholy thoughts into my mind, with the
image of my lost Antonia; but better topics of reflection
came to my aid, with a full purpose to look at things on the
brighter side, and the lapse of two-and-twenty years, which
had gradually impaired the force of tender regret.

As soon as I entered the castle, Beatrice and her daughter
greeted me most cordially, while the family scene was inter-
esting in the extreme. When their mutual transports
were over, I looked earnestly at my god-daughter, saying:
Can this be the Seraphina whom I left in her cradle ? how
tall and pretty ! we must make a good match for her. What!
my dear god-father, cried my little girl with an enchanting
blush, you have but just seen me, and do you want to get
rid of me at once ! No, my lovely child, replied I, we hope
not to lose you by marriage, but to find a husband for you
in the neighbourhood.

There is one ready to your hands, said Beatrice. Sera-
phina made a conquest one day at mass. Her suitor has
declared his passion, and asked my consent. I told him
that his acceptance depended on her father and her god-
father ; and here you are to determine for yourselves.

What is the character of this village lordHng? said
Scipio. Is he not, like his fellows, the Kttle tyrant of the
soil, and insolent to those who have no pedigree to boast ?
The furthest from it in the world, answered Beatrice; the
young man is gentle in his temper and polished in his
manners; handsome withal, and somewhat under thirty.

Gil Bias returns to his Seat 381

You paint him in flattering colours, said I to Beatrice;
what is his name ? Don Juan de Jutella, replied Scipio's
wife: it is not long since he came to his inheritance: he lives
on his own estate, about a mile off, with a younger sister,
of whom he takes care. I once knew something of his
family, observed I ; it is one of the best in Valencia. I care
less for lineage, cried Scipio, than for the qualities of the
heart and mind; this Don Juan will exactly suit us, if he is a
good sort of man. He is behed else, said Seraphina,
with a blushing interest in our conversation; the inhabit-
ants of Lirais, who know him well, say all the good of him
you can conceive. I smiled at this; and her father, not
less quick-sighted, saw plainly that her heart had a share in
the testimony of her tongue.

The gentleman soon heard of our arrival, and paid his
respects to us within two days. His address was pleasing
and manly, so as to prepossess us in his favour. He
affected merely to welcome us home as a neighbour. Our
reception was such as not to discourage the repetition of his
visit; but not a word of Seraphina! When he was gone,
Beatrice asked us how we liked him. We could have no
objection to make, and gave it as our opinion that Sera-
phina could not dispose of herself better.

The next day, Scipio and I returned the visit. We took
a guide, and luckily; for otherwise it might have puzzled
us to find the place. It was not till our actual arrival that
it was visible ; for the mansion was situated at the foot of a
mountain, in the middle of a wood, whose lofty trees hid
it from our view. There was an antique and ruinous ap-
pearance about it, which spoke more for the descent than
the wealth of its proprietor. On our entrance, however,
the elegance of the interior arrangements made amends
for the dilapidated grandeur of the outer walls.

Don Juan received us in a handsome room, where he
introduced his sister Dorothea, a lady between nineteen
and twenty years of age. She was a good deal tricked out,
as if she had primed and loaded herself for conquest, in ex-
pectation of our visit. Thus presenting all her charms in
full force, she did by me much as Antonia had done before ;
but I managed my raptures so discreetly, that even Scipio
had no suspicion. Our conversation turned, as on the
preceding day, on the mutual pleasure of good neighbour-

382 History of Gil Bias

hood. Still he did not open on the subject of Seraphina,
nor did we attempt to draw him out. During our interview,
I often cast a side glance at Dorothea, though with all the
reserve of delicate apprehension ; whenever our eyes met, the
citadel of my heart was ready to surrender. To describe
the object of my love justly, as well as feelingly, her beauty
was not of the most perfect kind : her skin was of a dazzling
whiteness, and her lips united the colour with the fragrance
of the rose; but her features were not so regular and well-
proportioned as might have been wished: yet, altogether,
she won my heart.

In short, I left the mansion of Jutella a different man
from what I was on entering it : so that, returning to Lirias
with my whole soul absorbed in Dorothea, I saw and spoke
only of her. How is this, master ? said Scipio with a look
of astonishment: you seem to be very much taken with
Don Juan's sister! Can you be in love with her? Yes,
my friend, answered I: to my shame be it spoken. Since
the death of Antonia, how many lovely females have
passed in review before me with indifference : and must my
passions be irresistibly kindled at this time of life ? Indeed,
sir, replied the son of Coselina, you may bless your stars,
instead of squabbling with yourself: you are not so old as to
make your sacrifice at the shrine of love a by-word; and
time has not yet ploughed such furrows on your brow, as to
render hopeless the desire of pleasing. When you see Don
Juan next, ask him boldly for his sister: he cannot refuse
her to you; and besides, if his views in her settlement are
ambitious, how can he do better ? You have a patent of
nobility in your pocket, and upon that your posterity may
ride easy ; after five generations, when pedigree herself shall
be lost in the confusion of her materials, it may exercise
the diligence of learned inquiry, to trace the family of the
SantiUanes to the beginning of its archives, and consecrate
the fame of its founder by the indistinctness of his story.

The Conclusion of the History 383

CHAPTER XIV

A DOUBLE MARRIAGE, AND THE CONCLUSION OF THE HIS-
TORY.

By this discourse, Scipio encouraged me to declare
myself, without considering how he exposed me to the
danger of a refusal. My own resolution was taken with
fear and trembhng. Though I carried my years well, and
might have sunk at least ten, it did not seem unlikely that
a young beauty might turn up her nose at the disparity.
I determined, however, to bolt the question the first time
I saw her brother, who was not without his trepidations on
the subject of my god-daughter.

He returned my call the next morning, just as I had
done dressing. Signor de Santillane, said he, I wish to speak
with you. on some serious business. I took him into my
closet, where entering on the subject at once, I imagine,
continued he, that you are not unacquainted with the
purpose of my visit: I love Seraphina; you are all in all
with her father; I must request you therefore to intercede
and procure for me the accomplishment of my heart's
desire : then shall I have to thank you for the prime bliss of
my existence. Signor Don Juan, answered I, as you come
to the point at once, you can have no objection to my
following your example: My good offices are fully at your
service, and I shall hope for yours with your sister in
return.

Don Juan was agreeably surprised. Can it be possible,
exclaimed he, that Dorothea should have made a conquest
of your heart since yesterday ? It is even so, said I, and
it would make me the happiest of men, if the proposal
should meet with your joint approbation. You may
rely on that, replied he; though with some pretensions to
family pride, yours is not an alliance to be despised. You
flatter me highly, rejoined I; that you are not mealy-
mouthed about receiving a commoner into your pedigree,
is a mark of good sense; but even if nobility had been a
necessary ingredient in your sister's requisites for a husband,
we should not have quarrelled on that account. I have
worked out twenty years in the trammels of office ; and the

384 History of Gil Bias

king, as a reward of my long labours, has granted me a
patent of nobility. This high-minded gentleman read my
credentials over with extreme satisfaction, and returning
them, told me that Dorothea was mine. And Seraphina
yours, exclaimed I.

Thus were the two marriages agreed on between us. The
consent of the intended brides was all that remained;
for we neither of us presumed to control the inclinations of
our wards. My friend therefore carried home my proposal
to his sister, and I called Scipio, Beatrice, and my god-
daughter together, for the purpose of laying open a similar
project. Beatrice voted loudly for immediate acceptance,
and Seraphina silently. The father did not say much
against it; but boggled a little at the fortune he must give
to a gentleman whose seat required such immediate and
extensive repairs. I stopped Scipio's mouth by telling
him that was my concern, and that I should contribute
four thousand pistoles to the architect's estimate.

In the evening, Don Juan came again. Your business is
going swimmingly, said I ; pray heaven mine may promise
as fairly. Better it cannot, answered he ; my influence was
quite unnecessary to prevail with Dorothea; your person
had made its impression, and your manners pleased her.
You were afraid she might not like you ; while she, with more
reason, having nothing to offer you but her heart and hand
.... What would she offer more ? interrupted I, out of my
wits with joy. Since the lovely Dorothea can think of me
without repugnance, I ask no more: my fortune is ample,
and the possession of her is the only dowry I should value.

Don Juan and myself, highly delighted at having brought
our views to bear so soon, were for hastening our nuptials,
and cutting off all superfluous ceremonies. I closeted the
gentleman with Seraphina's parents; the settlements were
soon agreed on, and he took his leave, promising to return
next day with Dorothea. My eager desire of appearing
agreeable in that lady's eyes, occasioned me to spend three
hours at least in adjusting my dress, and communicating the
air of a lover to my person ; but I could not do it so much to
my mind as in my younger days. The preparations for
courtship are a pleasure to a young man, but a serious
business and a hazardous speculation to one who is begin-
ning to be oldish. And yet it turned out better than my

The Conclusion of the History 385

hopes or deserts; for Don Juan's sister received me so
graciously, as to put me in good humour with myself.
I was charmed with the turn of her mind; and foreboded
that with discreet management and much deference, I might
really get her to like me as well as anybody else. Full of
this sweet hope I sent for the lawyers to draw up the two
contracts, and for the clergyman of Patema, to bring us
better acquainted with our mistresses.

Thus did I light the torch of Hymen for the second time,
and it did not bum blue with the brimstone of repentance.
Dorothea, like a virtuous wife, made a pleasure of her duty;
in gratitude for the pains I took to anticipate all her wishes,
she soon loved me as well as if I had been younger. Don
Juan and my god-daughter were most enthusiastic in their
mutual ardour; and what was most unprecedented of all,
the two sisters-in-law loved one another sincerely. Don
Juan was a man in whom all good qualities met: my
esteem for. him increased daily, and he did not repay it with
ingratitude. In short, we were a happy and united family:
we could scarcely bear the interval of separation between
evening and morning. Our time was divided between
Lirias and Jutella: his excellency's pistoles made the old
battlements to raise their heads again, and the castle to
resume its lordly port.

For these three years, reader, I have led a life of unmixed
bUss in this beloved society. To perfect my satisfaction,
heaven has deigned to send me two smihng babes, whose
education wiU be the amusement of my dechning years;
and if ever husband might venture to hazard so bold an
hypothesis, I devoutly beUeve myself their father.

THE END.

LEXpHWORTH

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G6E5

1914

V.2

Le Sage, Alain Rene

The adventures of Gil Bias
of Santillane

s^.