MISS CAYLEY'S ADVENTURES
"Y ■■!•
MISS CAYLEY'S
ADVENTURES
BY
GRANT ALLEN
WIT 1 EIGHTY ILLUSTRATIONS BY (jORDON BROWNE
THIRD IMPRESSION
G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS
NEW YORK & LONDON
^be ■RiUchcibocker press
1899
AUTHORIZED EDITION
First Edition printed May, 1899
Reprinted July, 1899
Reprinted August, 1899
Vbe Itnickerboclier press, Dew JiJorli
CONTENTS
CHAPTER
I.— Thk
II.— Thk
III.— Thk
IV.— Thk
v.— Thk
VI.— Thk
VII.— Thk
VIII.— Thk
IX.— Thk
X.— Thk
XI.— Thk
XII.— The
Adventure of
Adventurk of
Adventure of
Adventure of
Advknturk of
Advkntukk of
Adventure of
Adventure of
Adventure of
Adventure of
Adventure of
Adventure of
PAGR
THE Cantankerous Old Lady . i
THE SUI'ERCILIOUS AtTACH£ . . 3I
THE Inquisitive American . . 62
THE Amateur Commission Aoent . 8g
the Imi'romi'tu Mountaineer . 120
THE Urkane Old Gentleman . 147
THE Unobtrusive Oasis . . .177
THE PKA-(iRKEN PaTRICIAN . . 207
THE Macnificknt Maharajah . 232
THE Cross-Eykd Q. C. . . . 263
THE Oriental Attendant . . 293
THE Unprofessional Detective . 318
111
ILLUSTRATIONS
"Am, Anor, to Teach the Higher Mathematics" Frontispiece
"I AM Going Out, Simply in Search ok Adventure " .
"Oui, Madame; Merci Beaucoup, Madame" .
"Excuse Me," I Said, "hut I Think I See a Way out ok
Your Difkiculty"
A Most Urbane and Obliging Continental Gentleman
"Persons of Miladi's Temperament Are Always Youncj "
"That Succeeds?" the Shabby-Looking Man Muttered
I Put Her Hand Back Firmly
He Cast a Hasty Glance at Us
"Harold, You Viper, What do You Mean by Trying to
Avoid Me?"
"Circumstances Alter Cases," He Murmured
"Miss Cayley," He Said, "You are Playing with Me"
I Rose of a Sudden, and Ran Down the Hill
"I was Going to Oppose You and Harold" .
He Kept Close at My Heels
I was Pulled up Short by a Mounted Policeman .
"Seems I didn't Make Much of a Job of it"
"Don't Scorch, Miss; don't Scorch" ....
"IIow far Ahead the First Man?"
"I Am Here behind You, Herr Lieutenant".
"Let Them Boom or Bust on it"
His Open Admiration was Getting quite Embarrassing
Minute Inspection
PAGE
5
8
II
i8
21
25
32
37
39
45
53
57
59
66
f'7
6y
82
86
87
QO
96
lOI
VI
Illustrations
I Felt a Pkrfect Littlk IlYi'ocRiTE
She Invited Elsie and Myself to Stop with Her .
The Count
I Thought it Kinder to Him to Remove it Ai.tocether
Inch hyInch He Retreated
"Never Leave a House to the Servanis, My Dear!"
"I MAY Stay, mayn't I?"
I Advanced on My Hands and Knees to the Edge of the
Precii'ice
I Grii'I'ed the Rope and Let Myself Down
"I Rolled and Slid Down"
I Flung Myself Wildly on My Bed.
"There's Enterprise for You!"
Paintinc; the Sign-Bijard ....
The Urhane Old Gentleman
He Went on Dictating for Just an Hour
He Bowed to Each of Us Separately
I Waited, Breathless
"What, You Here!" He Cried.
He Read Them, Cruel Man, hefore My Very Eyes
" 'T IS Dr. Maclogiilen," He Answered ....
Too Much Nile .
Emphasis
Riding a Camel does not Greatly Dh'Fer from Sea-Sickness
Her Agitation Was Evident
Crouching hy the Rocks Sat Our Mysterious Stk an(;er
An Odd-Looking Young Man
He Turned to Me with an Inane Smile .....
Nothing Seemed to Put the Man Down ....
"Yah don't Catch Me Going so fah from Newmarket"
"Wasn't Era Diavolo also a Composah?"
"Take My Word for it. You're, Staking Your Money on
THE Wrong Fellah"
"I Am the Maharajah of Moozuffernuogar"
"Who's Your Black Friend?"
"A Tiger Hunt Is nut a Thing to he Got up Lightly"
PAGE
103
108
112
118
123
128
142
146
160
163
181
1 84
188
192
194
197
202
209
214
219
223
226
230
236
241
249
Illustrations
Vll
It Went off Unexi'ectkdi.y
I Saw Him Now the Oriental Desi'ot
"It's 1 Who Am the Winnah "
He Wrote, " I Exi'Ect You to Come Back to Enclano
Marry Me"
It Was Endlessly Weakisome
'I'liE Cross-Eyei) Q. C. Beoced Him to he very Carefui
I Was a ("iRotesqie Failure
The Jury Smiled
"The Question Reql'ires n<j Answer," He Said
I Reeled Where I Sat
The Messenger Entered
He Took a Lono, Careless Stare at Me
I Beckoned a Porter
"You can't Get Out Here," He Said, Ckustilv .
We Told Our Tale
"I HAVE Found a Clue"
"I've Held the Fort by Main Force" .
"Never!" He Answered, "Never!"
"We shall Have Him in Our Power"
Victory
"You Wished to See Me, Sir?" ....
"Well, This Is a Fair Knock-Out, " He Ejaculated
"Harold, Your Wife has Bested Me" .
and
I'AGE
256
261
264
277
283
284
2yl
2</i
304
3()()
3o<J
31'
316
320
322
326
330
334
339
343
MISS CAYLEY'S ADVENTURES
CHAPTER I
THE ADVENTURE OF THE CANTANKEROUS OLD I.ADY
ON the day when I found myself with twopence in my
pocket, I naturally made up my mind to go round
the world.
It was my stepfather's death that drove me to it. I had
never seen my stepfather. Indeed, I never even thought
of him as anything more than Colonel Watts- Morgan. I
owed him nothing, except my poverty. He married my
dear mother when I was a girl at school in Switzerland ; and
he proceeded to spend her little fortune, left at her sole dis-
posal by my father's will, in paying his gambling debts.
After that, he carried my dear mother off to Burma ; and
when he and the climate between them had succeeded in
killing her, he made up for his appropriations at the cheapest
rate by allowing me just enough to send me to Girton. So,
when the Colonel died, in the year I was leaving college, I
did not think it necessary to go into mourning for him,
especially as he chose the precise moment when my allow-
2 Miss Cayley's Adventures
ance was due, and bequeathed me nothing but his consoli-
dated liabilities.
" Of course you will teach," said Elsie Petheridge, when
I explained my affairs to her. ' ' There is a good demand
just now for high-school teachers."
I looked at her, aghast. ''Teach/ Elsie," I cried. (I
had come up to town to settle her in at her unfurnished
lodgings.) * ' Did you say tcac/i ? That 's just like you dear
good schoolmistresses ! You go to Cambridge, and get ex-
amined till the heart and life have been examined out of
you ; then you say to yourselves at the end of it all, ' Let
me see ; what am I good for now ? I 'm just about fit to go
away and examine other people ! ' That 's what our Prin-
cipal would call * a vicious circle ' — if one could ever admit
there was anything vicious at all about you, dear. No,
Elsie, I do not propose to teach. Nature did not cut me out
for a high-school teacher. I could n't swallow a poker if I
tried for weeks. Pokers don't agree with me. Between
ourselves, I am a bit of a rebel."
" You are. Brownie," she answered, pausing in her paper-
ing, with her sleeves rolled up — they called me " Brownie,"
partly because of ni)'^ dark complexion, but partly because
they could never understand me. " We all knew that long
ago."
I laid down the paste-brush and mused.
" Do you remember, Elsie," I said, staring hard at the
paper-board, " when I first went to Girton, how all you girls
wore your hair quite straight, in neat smooth coils, plaited
up at the back about the size of a pancake ; and how of a
sudden I burst in upon you, like a tropical hurricane, and
demoralised you ; and how, after three days of me, some of
The Cantankerous Old Lady 3
the dear innocents began with awe to cut themselves artless
fringes, while others went out in fear and trembling and sur-
reptitiously purchased a pair of curling-tongs ? I was a
bomb-shell in your midst in those days ; why, you yourself
were almost afraid at first to speak to me."
" You see, you had a bicycle," Elsie put in, smoothing
the half-papered wall ; " and in those days, of course, ladies
did n't bicycle. You must admit, Brownie, dear, it 7c>as a
startling innovation. You terrified us so. And yet, after
all, there is n't much harm in you."
" I hope not," I said devoutly. " I was before my time,
that was all ; at present, even a curate's wife may blame-
lessly bicycle."
" But if you don't teach," Elsie went on, gazing at me
with those wondering big blue eyes of hers, " what ever will
you do. Brownie?" Her horizon was bounded by the
scholastic circle.
" I have n't the faintest idea," I answered, continuing to
paste. " Only, as I can't trespass upon your elegant hospi-
tality for life, whatever I mean to do, I must begin doing
this morning, when we 've finished the papering. I could n't
teach " (teaching, like mauve, is the refuge of the incompe-
tent) ; " and I don't, if possible, want to sell bonnets."
"As a milliner's girl ? " Elsie asked, with a face of red
horror.
" As a milliner's girl ; why not ? 'T is an honest calling.
Earls' daughters do it now. But you need n't look so
shocked. I tell you, just at present, I am not contemplating
it."
" Then what do you contemplate ? "
I paused and reflected. "I am here in London," I an-
4 Miss Cayley's Adventures
swered, gazing rapt at the ceiling ; " London, whose streets
are paved with gold — though it looks at first sight like muddy
flagstones ; London, the greatest and richest city in the
world, where an adventurous soul ought surely to find some
loophole for an adventure. (That piece is hung crooked,
dear ; we shall have to take it down again.) I devise a
Plan, therefore. I submit myself to fate ; or, if you prefer
it, I leave my future in the hands of Providence. I shall
stroll out this morning, as soon as I 've ' cleaned myself,'
and embrace the first stray enterprise that offers. Our Bag-
dad teems with enchanted carpets. Let one but float my
way, and, hi ! presto ! I seize it. I go where glory or a
modest competence waits me. I snatch at the first offer,
the first hint of an opening."
Elsie stared at me, more aghast and more puzzled than
ever. " But how ? " she asked. " Where ? When ? You
are so strange ! What will you do to find one ? "
" Put on my hat and walk out," I answered. " Nothing
could be simpler. This city bursts with enterprises ana
surprises. Strangers from east and west hurry through it
in all directions. Omnibuses traverse it from erd to end,
even, I am told, to Islington and Putney ; within, tolk sit
face to face who never saw one another before in their lives,
and who may never see one another again, or, on the con-
trary, may pass the rest of their days together."
I had a lovely harangue all pat in my head, in much the
same strain, on the infinite possibilities of entertaining angels
unawares, in cabs, on the Underground, in the Aerated
Bread shops ; but Elsie's widening eyes of horror pulled me
up short, like a hansom in Piccadilly when the inexorable
upturned hand of the policeman checks it. ' ' Ob, Brownie"
The Cantankerous Old Lady 5
she cried, drawing back, " you don' t mean to tell me you 're
going to ask the first young man you meet in an omnibus to
marry you ? "
I shrieked with laughter. " Elsie," I cried, kissing her
dear yellow little head, " you are impayable. You never
I AM GOING OUT, SIMPLY IN SEARCH OF ADVENIURE.
will learn what I mean. You don't understand the lan-
guage. No, no ; I am going out, simply in search of ad-
venture. What adventure may come, I have not at this
moment the faintest conception. The fun lies in the search,
the uncertainty, the toss-up of it. What is the good of being
penniless — with the trifling exception of twopence — unless
6 Miss Cayley's Adventures
you are prepared to accept your position in the spirit of a
masked ball at Covent Garden ? "
" I have never been to one," Elsie put in.
" Gracious heavens, neither have I ! What on earth do
you take me for ? But I mean to see where fate will lead
me."
" I may go with j^ou ? " Elsie pleaded.
" Certainly not^ my child," I answered — she was three
years older than I, so I had the right to patronise her.
" That would spoil all. Your dear little face would be quite
enough to scare away a timid adventure." She knew what
I meant. It was gentle and pensive, but it lacked initiative.
So, when we had finished that wall, I popped on my best
hat, and popped out by myself into Kensington Gardens.
I am told I ought to have been terribly alarmed at the
straits in which I found myself — a girl of twenty-one, alone
in the world, and only twopence short of penniless, without
a friend to protect, a relation to counsel her. (I don't count
Aunt Susan, who lurked in ladylike indigence at Black
heath, and whose counsel, like her tracts, was given away
too profusely to everybody to allow of one's placing any very
high value upon it.) But, as a matter of fact, I must admit
I was not in the least alarmed. Nature had endowed me
with a profusion of crisp black hair, and plenty of high
spirits. If my eyes had been like Elsie's — that liquid blue
which looks out upon life with mingled pity and amazement
— I might have felt as a girl ought to feel under such con-
ditions ; but having large dark ej^es, with a bit of a twinkle
in them, and being as well able to pilot a bicycle as any girl
of my acquaintance, I have inherited or acquired an outlook
on the world which distinctly leans rather towards cheeriness
The Cantankerous Old Lady 7
than despondency. I croak with difficulty. So I accepted
my plight as an amusing experience, affording full scope for
the congenial exercise of courage and ingenuity.
How boundless are the opportunities of Kensington Gar-
dens— the Round Pond, the winding Serpentine, the mys-
terious seclusion of the Dutch brick Palace ! Genii swarm
there. One jostles possibilities. It is a land of romance,
bounded on the north by the Abyss of Bayswater, and on
the south by the Amphitheatre of the Albert Hall. But for
a centre of adventure I chose the Long Walk ; it beckoned
me somewhat as the North- West Passage beckoned my sea-
faring ancestors — the buccaneering mariners of Elizabethan
Devon. I sat down on a chair at the foot of an old elm with
a poetic hollow, prosaically filled by a utilitarian plate of
galvanised iron. Two ancient ladies were seated on the
other side already — very grand-looking dames, with the
haughty and exclusive ugliness of the English aristocracy
in its later stages. For frank hideousness, commend me to
the noble dowager. They were talking confidentially as I
sat down ; the trifling episode of my approach did not suffice
to stem the full stream of their conversation. The great
ignore the intrusion of their inferiors.
" Yes, it 's a terrible nuisance," the eldest and ugliest
of the two observed — she was a high-born lady, with a dis-
tinctly cantankerous cast of countenance. She had a Roman
nose, and her skin was wrinkled like a wilted apple ; she
wore coffee-coloured point-lace in her bonnet, with a com-
plexion to match. " But what could I do, my dear? I
simply couldn't put up with such insolence. So I looked her
straight back in the face — oh, she quailed, I can tell you —
and I said to her in my iciest voice — you know how icy I
8
Miss Caylcy's Adventures
can be when occasion demands it" — the second old lady
nodded an nngrndginj; assent, as if perfectly prepared to ad-
mit her friend's rare gift of iciness — " I said to her, ' Ccles-
tine, you can take your month's wages, and half an hour to
**oui, maoamk; MF.RCI BKAUrorP, madamk.
get out of this house.' And she dropped me a deep rever-
ence, and she answered : ' Qui, viadavic ; vicrci beaucoup,
viadame ; jc ne disirc pas micux, viadamc' And out .she
flounced. So there was the end of it."
" Still, 3'ou go to Schlangenbad on Monday ? "
" That 's the point. On Monday. If it were n't for the
The Cantankerous Old Lady 9
journe)', I should have been glad enough to be rid of the
minx. I 'm glad as it is, indeed ; for a more insolent, up-
standing, independent, answer-you-back-again j-oung wo-
man, with a sneer of her own, /never saw, Amelia — but I
must get to Schlangenbad. Now, there the difficulty comes
in. On the one hand, if I engage a maid in London, I have
the choice of two evils. Either I must take a trapesing
Knglish girl — and I know by experience that an English girl
on the Continent is a vast deal worse than no maid at all :
yotr have to wait upon Iwr, instead of her waiting upon j'ou ;
she gets seasick on the crossing, and when she reaches
France or Germany, she hates the meals, and she detests
the hotel servants, and she can't speak the language, vSo that
she 's always calling you to interpret for her in her private
differences with i\\Q fillc-dc-cliafnbrc Si\\6. the landlord ; — or else
I must pick up a French maid in London, and I know equally
by experience that the French maids one engages in London
are invariabl}- dishonest — more dishonest than the rest even ;
they 've come here because they have no character to speak
of elsewhere, and they think you are n't likely to write and
enquire of their last mistress in Toulouse or St. Petersburg,
Then, again, on the other hand, I can't wait to get a Gret-
chen, an unsophisticated little Gretchen, of the Taunus at
Schlangenbad — I suppose there are unsophisticated girls in
Germany still — made in Germany — they don't make 'em
any longer in England, I 'm sure — like everything else,
the trade in rustic innocence has been driven from the
country. I can't wait to get a Gretchen, as I should like to
do, of course, because I simply dare n't undertake to cross the
Channel alone and go all that long journey by Ostend or
Calais, Brussels and Cologne, to Schlangenbad."
lo Miss Cayley's Adventures
" You could get a temporary maid," her friend suggested,
in a lull of the tornado.
The Cantankerous Old Lady flared up. " Yes, and have
ray jewel-case stolen ! Or find she was an English girl with-
out one word of German. Or nurse her on the boat when I
want to give my undivided attention to my own misfortunes.
No, Amelia, I call it positively unkind of you to suggest
such a thing. You 're so unsympathetic ! I put my foot
down there. I will Jioi take any temporary person."
I saw my chance. This was a delightful idea. Why not
start for Schlangenbad with the Cantankerous Old Lady ?
Of course, I had not the slightest intention of taking a
lady's-maid's place for a permanency. Nor even, if it comes
to that, as a passing expedient. But t/ 1 wanted to go round
the world, how could I do better than set out by the Rhine
country ? The Rhine leads you on to the Danube, the
Danube to the Black Sea, the Black Sea to Asia ; and so by
way of India, China, and Japan, you reach the Pacific and
San Francisco ; whence one returns quite easily by New
York and the White Star Liners. I began to feel like a
globe-trotter already ; the Cantankerous Old Lady was the
thin end of the wedge — the first rung of the ladder ! I pro-
ceeded to put my foot on it.
I leaned around the corner of the tree and spoke. ' ' Ex-
cuse me," I said, in my suavest voice, " but I think I see a
way out of your difficulty."
My first impression was that the Cantankerous Old Lady
would go off in a fit of apoplexy. She grew purple in the
face with indignation and astonishment, that a casual out-
sider should venture to address her ; so much so, indeed,
that for a second I almost regretted my well-meant interpo-
The Cantankerous Old Lady
II
sitioii. Then she scanned me up and down, as if I were a
girl in a mantle shop, and she contemplated buj-ing either
me or the mantle. At last, catching my eye, she thought
better of it, and burst out laughing.
" What do you mean by this eavesdropping ? " she asked.
EXCUSE ME," I SAID, " BUT I THINK I SEE A WAY OUT OF YOUR DIFFICULTY.
I flushed up in turn. " This is a public place," I replied,
with dignity ; " and you spoke in a tone which was hardly
designed for the strictest privacy. If you don't wish to be
overheard, you ought n't to shout. Besides, I desired to do
you a service. ' '
The Cantankerous Old I^ady regarded me once more from
12 Miss Cayley's Adventures
head to foot. I did not quail. Then she turned to her com-
panion. " The girl has spirit," she remarked, in an encour-
aging tone, as if she were discussing some absent person.
" Upon my word, Amelia, I rather like the look of her.
Well, my good woman, what do you want to' suggest to
me?"
" Merely this," I replied, bridling up and crushing her.
" I am a Girton girl, an officer's daughter, no more a good
woman than most others of my class ; and I have nothing in
particular to do for the moment. I don't object to going to
Schlangenbad. I would convoy you over, as companion, or
lady-help, or anything else you choose to call it ; I would
remain with you there for a week, till you could arrange
with your Gretchen, presumably un.sophisticated ; and then
I would leave you. Salary is unimportant ; my fare suffices.
I accept the chance as a cheap opportunity of attaining
Schlangenbad."
The yellow- faced old lady put up her long-handled tortoise-
shell eyeglasses and inspected me all over again. " Well, I
declare," she murmured. " What are girls coming to, I
wonder ? Girton, you say ; Girton ! That place at Cam-
bridge ! You speak Greek, of course ; but how about Ger-
man ? "
" lyike a native," I answered, with cheerful promptitude,
'* I was at school in Canton Berne ; it is a mother tongue to
me. ' '
" No, no," the old lady went on, fixing her keen small
eyes on my mouth. " Those little lips could never frame
themselves to ' schlccht ' or ' ivundcrschbn ' ; they were not
cut out for it."
" Pardon me," I answered, in German. " What I .say,
■.^),\<:- :>
The Cantankerous Old Lady 13
that I mean. The uever-to-be-forgotten music of the Father-
land's-speech has on my infant ear from the first-beginning
impressed itself. ' '
The old lady laughed aloud.
" Don't jabber it to me, child," she cried. " I hate the
lingo. It 's the one tongue on earth that even a pretty
girl's lips fail to render attractive. You yourself make
faces ovei it. What 's your name, young woman ? "
"LoisCayley."
" Lois ! JV/mf a name ! I never heard of any Lois in my
life before, except Timothy's grandmother. Vou 're not
anybody's grandmother, are you ? "
" Not to my knowledge," I answered, gravely.
She burst out laughing again.
" Well, 3'ou '11 do, I think," she said, catching my arm.
" That big mill down yonder has n't ground the originality
altogether out of you. I adore originality. It was clever
of you to catch at the suggestion of this arrangement. Lois
Cayley, you say ; any relation of a madcap Captain Cayley
whom I used once to know, in the Forty-second High-
landers ? "
" His daughter," I answered, flushing, for I was proud
of my father.
" Ha ! I remember ; he died, poor fellow ; he was a good
soldier — and his "—I felt she was going to say " his fool of
a widow," but a glance from me quelled her — " his widow
went and married that good-looking scapegrace, Jack Watts-
Mcft-gan. Never marry a man, my dear, with a double-
barrelled name and no visible means of subsistence ; above
all, if he 's generally known by a nickname. So you 're
poor Tom Cayley 's daughter, are you ? Well, well, we can
14 Miss Cay ley's Adventures
settle this little matter between us. Mind, I 'ni a person
who always expects to have my own way. If you come
with me to Schlangenbad, you must do as I tell you."
** I think I could manage it — for a week," I answered,
den- irely.
She smiled at my audacity. We passed on to terms.
They were quite satisfactory. She wanted no references.
" Do I look like a woman who cares about a reference?
What are called characters are usually essays in how not to
say it. You take my fancy ; that 's the point ! And poor
Tom Cayley ! But, mind, I will not he contradicted."
" I will not contradict your wildest misstatement," I an-
swered, smiling.
" And your name and address? " I asked, after we had
settled preliminaries.
A faint red spot rose quaintly in the centre of the Can-
tankerous Old Lady's sallow cheek. " My dear," she mur-
mured, " my name is the one thing on earth I 'm really
ashamed of. My parents chose to inflict upon me the most
odious label that human ingenuity ever devised for a Chris-
tian soul ; and I 've not had courage enough to burst out
and change it."
A gleam of intuition flashed across me. "You don't
mean to say," I exclaimed, " that you 're called Geor-
gina ? "
The Cantankerous Old Lady gripped my arm hard.
** What an unusually intelligent girl ! " she broke in.
" How on earth did you guess ? It is Georgina."
"Fellow-feeling," I answered. " So is mine, Georgina
Lois. But as I quite agree with you as to the atrocity of
such conduct, I have suppressed the Georgina. It ought to
' ■• ■*,
The Cantankerous Old Lady 15
be made penal to send innocent girls into the world so
burdened."
" My opinion to a T ! You are really an exceptionally
sensible young woman. There 's my name and address ; I
start on Monday."
I glanced at her card. The very copperplate was
noisy. " L,ady Georgina Fawley, 49 Fortescue Crescent,
W." '
It had taken us twenty minutes to arrange our protocols.
As I walked off, well pleased, Lady Georgina's friend ran
after me quickly.
" You must take care," she said, in a warning voice.
" You 've caught a Tartar."
" So I suspect," I answered. " But a week in Tartary
will be at least an experience."
" She has an awful temper."
" That 's nothing. So have I. Appalling, I assure you.
And if it comes to blows, I 'm bigger and younger and
stronger than she is."
" Well, I wish you well out of it."
" Thank you. It is kind of you to give me this warning.
But I think I can take care of myself I come, you see, of a
military family."
I nodded my thanks, and strolled back to Elsie's. Dear
little Elsie was in transports of surpirse when I related my
adv^enture.
" Will you really go? And what will you do, my dear,
when you get there ? "
" I have n't a notion," I answered ; " that 's where the
fun comes in. But, anyhow, I .shall have got there."
" Oh, Brownie, you might starve ! "
■-■^
1 6 Miss Cayley's Adventures
" And I might starve in London. In either place, I have
only two hands and one head to help nie. ' '
" But then, here you are among friends. You might stop
with me forever."
I kissed her fluffy forehead. ' ' You good, generous little
Elsie ! " I cried ; " I won't stop here one moment after I have
finished the painting and papering. I came here to help
you. I could n't go on eating j'our hard-earned bread and
doing nothing. I know how sweet you are ; but the last
thing I want is to add to your burdens. Now let us roll up
our sleeves again and hurry on with the dado."
" But, Brownie, you '11 want to be getting your own things
ready. Remember, you ' re off" to Germany on Monday. ' '
I shrugged my shoulders. 'T is a foreign trick I picked
up in Switzerland. " What have I got to get ready ? " I
asked. " I can't go out and buy a complete summer outfit
in Bond Street for twopence. Now, don't look at me like
that : be practical, Elsie, and let me help you paint the
Jado." For unless I helped her, poor Elsie could never
have finished it herself. I cut out half her clothes for her ;
her own ideas were almost entirely limited to differential
calculus. And cutting out a blouse by differential calculus
is weary, uphill work for a high-school teacher.
By Monday I had papered and furnished the rooms, and
was ready to start on my voyage o^ exploration. I met the
Cantankerous Old Lady at Charing Cross, by appointment,
and proceeded to take charge of her luggage and tickets.
Oh my, how fussy she was ! * ' You will drop that basket !
I hope you have got through tickets, via Malines, nol by
Brussels — I won't go by Bru.ssels. You have to change
there. Now, mind you notice how much the luggage
The Cantankerous Old Lady 17
weighs in English pounds, and make the man at the office
give you a note of it to check those horrid Belgian porters.
They '11 charge you for double the weight, unless you reduce
it at once to kilogrammes. / know their ways. Foreigners
have no consciences. They just go to the priest and con-
fess, 5'ou know, and wipe it all out, and start fresh again on
a career of crime next morning. I 'm sure I don't know
why I ever go abroad. The only country in the world fit to
live in is England. No mosquitoes, no passports, no — good-
ness gracious, child, don't let that odious man bang about
my hat-box ! Have you no immortal soul, porter, that you
crush other people's property as if it was black-beetles ? No,
I will not let you take this, Lois ; this is my jewel-box — it
contains all that remains of the Fawley family jewels. I
positively decline to appear at Schlangenbad without a dia-
mond to my back. This never leaves my hands. It 's hard
enough nowadays to keep body and skirt together. Have
you secured that coupe at Ostend ? "
We got into our first-class carriage. It was clean and
comfortable ; but the Cantankerous Old Lady made the
porter mop the floor, and fidgeted and worried till we slid
out of the station. Fortunately, the only other occupant of
the compartment was a most urbane and obliging Continental
gentleman — I say Continental, because I could n't quite make
out whether he was French, German, or Austrian — who was
anxious in every way to meet Lady Georgina's wishes. Did
madame desire to have the window open ? Oh, certainly,
with pleasure ; the day was so sultry. Closed a little more ?
Parfaitetnejit, that was a current of air, il faut Vadmertre.
Madame would prefer the corner ? No ? Then perhaps she
would like this valise for a footstool ? Permeates— just thus.
i8
Miss Cayley's Adventures
A cold draught runs so often along the floor in railway car-
riages. This is Kent that we traverse ; ah, the garden of
England ! As a diplomat, he knew every nook of Europe,
and he echoed the mot he had accidentally heard drop from
A MOST URUANE AND OBLIGING CONTINENTAL GENTLEMAN.
madame's lips on the platform : no country in the world so
delightful as England !
"Monsieur is attached to the Embassy in I^ondon ? "
Lady Georgina inquired, growing affable.
He twirled his grey moustache — a waxed moustache of
great distinction. " No, madanie ; I have quitted the diplo-
matic service ; I inhabit Eondon now pour mo?i agrement.
The Cantankerous Old Lady 19
Some of my compatriots call it tristc ; for me, I find it the
most fascinating capital in Europe. What gaiety ! What
movement ! What poetry ! What mystery ! "
" If mystery means fog, it challenges the world," I inter-
posed.
He gazed at me with fixed eyes. " Yes, mademoiselle,"
he answered, in quite a different and markedly chilly voice.
*' Whatever your great country attempts — were it only a fog
— it achieves consummately."
I have quick intuitions. I felt the foreign gentleman took
an instinctive dislike to me.
To make up for it, lit; talked nuich, and with animation,
to Lady Georgina. They ferreted out friends in common,
and were as much surprised at it as people always are at that
inevitable experience.
' ' Ah j^es, madame, I recollect him well in Vienna. I was
there at the time, attached to our Legation. He was a
charming man. You read his masterly paper on the Central
Problem of the Dual Empire ? "
" You were in Vienna then ! " the Cantankerous Old Lady
mused back. "Lois, my child, don't stare" — she had
covenanted from the first to call me Lois, as my father's
daughter, and I confess I preferred it to being Miss Cayley'd.
** We must surely have met. Dare I ask your name,
monsieur ? ' '
I could see the foreign gentleman was delighted at this
turn. He had played for it, and carried his point. He
meant her to ask him. He had a card in his pocket, con-
veniently close ; and he handed it across to her. She read
it, and passed it on : " M. le Comte de Laroche-sur-Loiret."
" Oh, I remember your name well," the Cantankerous
20 Miss Cayley's Adventures
Old I^ady broke in. " I think you knew my husband, Sir
Evelyn Fawley, and my father, Lord Kynaston."
The Count looked profoundly surprised and delighted.
" What ! you are then Lady Georgina Fawley ! " he cried,
striking an attitude. " Indeed, miladi, your admirable hus-
band was one of the very first to exert his influence in my
favour at Vienna. Do I recall him, cc chcr^xx Evelyn ? If
I recall him ! What a fortunate rencounter ! I must have
seen you some years ago at Vienna, miladi, though I had not
then the great pleasure of making your acquaintance. But
j'our face had impressed itself on my sub-conscious self! "
(I did not learn till later that the esoteric doctrine of the
sub-conscious self was Lady Georgina's favourite hobby.)
" The moment chance led me to this carriage this morning,
I said to myself, ' That face, those features : so vivid, so
striking : I have seen them somewhere. With what do I
connect them in the recesses of my memory ? A high-bora
family ; genius ; rank ; the diplomatic service ; some un-
nameable charm ; some faint touch of eccentricity. Ha! I
have it. Vienna, a carriage with footmen in red livery, a
noble presence, a crowd of wits — poets, artists, politicians —
pressing eagerly round the landau.' That was my mental
picture as I sat and confronted you ; I understand it all
now ; this is Lad}' Georgina Faw y ! "
I thought the Cantankerous Old Lady, who was a shrewd
person in her way, must surely see through this obvious
patter ; but I had under-estimated the average human
capacity for swallowing flattery. Instead of dismissing his
fulsome nonsense with a contemptuous smile, Lady Georgina
perked herself up with a conscious air of coquetry, and asked
for more. " Yes, they were delightful days in Vienna," she
The Cantankerous Old Lady 2 1
said, .simpering ; " I was young then, Count ; I enjoyed life
with a zest."
" Persons of miladi's temperament are always young,"
the Count retorted, glibly, leaning forward aud gazing at
PERSONS OF MILADIS TEMPERAMENT ARE ALWAYS YOUNG,
her. " Growing old is a foolish habit of the stupid and the
vacant. Men and women of esprit are never older. One
learns as one goes on in life to admire, not the obvious
beauty of mere youth and health " — he glanced across at me
disdainfully — " but the profounder beauty of deep character
in a face — that calm and serene beauty which is imprinted
on the brow by experience of the emotions."
22 Miss Cayley's Adventures
" I have had my iiionients," lyady Georgina murmured,
wilh her head on one side.
" I beUeveit, miladi," the Count answered, and ogled her.
Thenceforward to Dover, they talked together with cease-
less animation. The Cantankerous Old Lady was capital
company. She had a tang in her tongue, and in the course
of ninety minutes she had flayed alive the greater part of
London society, with keen wit and sprightliness. I laughed
against my will at her ill-tempered sallies ; they were too
funny not to amuse, in spite of their vitriol. As for the
Count, he was charmed. He talked well himself, too, and
between them, I almost forgot the time till we arrived at
Dover.
It was a very rough passage. The Count helped us to
carry our nineteen hand-packages and four rugs on board ;
but I noticed that, fascinated as she was with him, Lady
Georgina resisted his ingenious efforts to gain possession of
her precious jewel-case as she descended the gangway. She
clung to it like grim death, even in the chops of the Channel.
Fortunately I am a good sailor, and when Lady Georgina's
sallow cheeks began to grow pale, I was steady enough to
supply her with her shawl and her smelling-bottle. She
fidgeted and worried the whole way over. She would be
treated like a vertebrate animal. Those horrid Belgians
had no right to stick their deck-chairs just in front of her.
The impertinence of the hussies with the bright red hair — a
grocer's daughters, she felt sure — in venturing to come and
sit on the same bench with her — the bench " for ladies only,"
under the lee of the funnel ! " Ladies only," indeed ! Did
the baggages pretend they considered themselves ladies ?
Oh, that placid old gentleman in the episcopal gaiters was
The Cantankerous Old Lady 23
their father, was he ? Well, a bishop should bring up his
daughters better, having his children in subjection with all
gravity. Instead of which — " Lois, my smelling-salts !"
This was a beastly boat ; such an odour of machinery; they
had no decent boats nowadays ; with all our boasted im-
provements, she could remember well when the cross-Channel
service was much better conducted than it was at present.
But that was before we had compulsory education. The
working classes were driving trade out of the country, and
the consequence was, we could n't build a boat which did n't
reek like an oil-shop. Even the sailors on board were French
— jabbering idiots ; not an honest British Jack-tar among
the lot of them ; though the stewards were English, and very
inferior Cockney English at that, with their offhand ways,
and their School Board airs and graces. She 'd School
Board them if they were her servants ; she 'd show them the
sort of respect that was due to people of birth and education.
But the children of the lower classes never learnt their cate-
chism nowadays ; they were too much occupied with litera-
toor, jography, and free-'and drawrin'. Happily for my
nerves, a good lurch to leeward put a stop for a while to the
course of her thoughts on the present distresses.
At Ostend the Count made a second gallant attempt to
capture the jewel-case, which Lady Georgina automatically
repulsed. She had a fixed habit, I believe, of sticking fast
to that jewel-case ; for she was too overpowered by the
Count's urbanity, I feel sure, to suspect for a moment his
honesty of purpose. But whenever she travelled, I fancy,
she clung to her case as if her life depended upon it ; it con-
tained the whole of her valuable diamonds.
We had twenty minutes for refreshments at Ostend, during
24 Miss Cay ley's Adventures
which interval my old lady declared with warmth that I
must look after her registered luggage ; though, as it was
booked through to Cologne, I could not even see it till we
crossed the German frontier ; for the Belgian douanicrs seal
up the van as soon as the through baggage for Germany is
unloaded. To satisfy her, however, I went through the
formality of pretending to inspect it, and rendered myself
hateful to the head of the douane by asking various foolish
and inept questions, on which lyady Georgina insisted.
When I had finished this silly and uncongenial task — for I
am not by nature fussy, and it is hard to assume fussiness as
another person's proxy — I returned to our coupe vi\\\Q\\ I had
arranged for in London. To my great amazement, I found
the Cantankerous Old Lady and the egregious Count com-
fortably seated there. " Monsieur has been good enough to
accept a place in our carriage," she observed, as I entered.
He bowed and smiled. " Or, rather, madame has been so
kind as to offer me one," he corrected.
" Would you like some lunch, Lady Georgina ? " I asked,
in my chilliest voice. " There are ten minutes to spare, and
the buffet is excellent."
" An admirable inspiration," the Count murmured.
*' Permit me to escort you, miladi."
" You will come, Lois ? " Lady Georgina asked.
** No, thank you," I answered, for I had an idea. " I am
a capital sailor, but the sea takes away my appetite."
" Then you '11 keep our places," she said, turning to me.
" I hope you won't allow them to stick in any horrid for-
eigners ! They will try to force them on you unless you
insist. / know their tricky ways. You have the tickets, I
trust? And the bulletin for the coupi? Well, mind you
The Cantankcfous Old Lady
25
don't lose the paper for the registered higgage. Don't let
those dreadful porters touch my cloaks. And if anybody
attempts to get in, be sure you stand in front of the door as
they mount to prevent them."
The Count handed her out ; he was all high courtly polite-
THAT SUCCKEDS? TUK SHABBY-
LOOKINd MAN MUTTERKD.
ness. As Lady Georgina descended, he made yet another
dexterous effort to relieve her of the jewel-case. I don't
think she noticed it, but automatically once more .she waved
him aside. Then she turned to me. " Here, my dear,"
she said, handing it to me, " you 'd better take care of it.
If I lay it down in the dif//it while I am eating my soup,
26 Miss Cayley's Adventures
some rogue may run away with it. But mind, don't let it
out of your hands on any account. Hold it so, on your
knee ; and, for Heaven's sake, don't part with it."
By this time my suspicions of the Count were profound.
From the first I had doubted him ; he was so blandly
plausible. But as we landed at Ostend I had accidentally
overheard a low, whispered conversation when he passed a
shabby-looking man, who had travelled in a second-class
carriage from London. "That succeeds?" the shabb)'^-
looking man had muttered under his breath in French, as
the haughty nobleman with the waxed moustache brushed
by him.
" That succeeds admirably," the Count had answered, in
the same soft undertone. " p? reussit h nicrvcillc.'"
I understood him to mean that he had prospered in his
attempt to impose on Lady Georgina.
They had been gone five minutes at the biiffd, when the
Count came back hurriedly to the door of the coupi with a
nonchalant air. " Oh, mademoiselle," he said, in an off-
hand tone, " Lady Georgina has sent me to fetch her jewel-
case. ' '
I gripped it hard with both hands. " Pardon^ M. le
Comte," I answered ; " Lady Georgina intrusted it to my
safe-keeping, and, without her leave, I cannot give it up to
any one."
"You mistrust me?" he cried, looking black. "You
doubt my honour ? You doubt my word when I say that
niiladi has sent me ? "
" Du tout,''' I answered, calmly. " But I have Lady
Georgina's orders to stick to this case ; and till Lady
Georgina returns I stick to it."
The Cantankerous Old Lady 27
He murmured some indignant remark below his breath,
and walked off. The shabby-looking passenger was pacing
up and down the platform outside in a badly made dust-coat.
As they passed their lips moved. The Count's seemed to
mutter, " C'est un coup manqiiiy
However, he did not desist even so. I saw he meant to
go on with his dangerous little game. He returned to the
buffet and rejoined Lady Georgina. I felt sure it would be
useless to warn her, so completely had the Count succeeded
in gulling her ; but I took my own steps. I examined the
jewel-case closely. It had a leather outer covering ; within
was a strong steel box, with stout bands of metal to bind it.
I took my cue at once, and acted for the best on my own re-
sponsibility.
When Lady Georgina and the Count returned, they were
like old friends together. The quails in aspic and the spark-
ling hock had evidently opened their hearts to one another.
As far as Malines they laughed and talked without ceasing.
Lady Georgina was now in her finest vein of spleen ; her
acid wit grew sharper and more caustic each moment. Not
a reputation in Europe had a rag left to cover it as we steamed
in beneath the huge iron roof of the main central junction.
I had observed all the way from Ostend that the Count
had been anxious lest we might have to give up our conpi at
Malines. I assured him more than once that his fears were
groundless, for I had arranged at Charing Cross that it
should run right through to the German frontier. But he
waved me aside with one lordly hand. I had not told Lady
Georgina of his vain attempt to take possession of her jewel-
case ; and the bare fact of my silence made him increasingly
suspicious of me.
28 Miss Cayley's Adventures
" Pardon me, mademoiselle," he said, coldly ; " you do
not understand these lines as well as I do. Nothing is more
common than for those rascals of railway clerks to sell one a
place in a coupe or a tvagon-lit, and then never reserve it, or
turn one out half-way. It is very possible miladi may have
to descend at Malines."
Lady Georgina bore him out by a large variety of selected
stories concerning the various atrocities of the rival com-
panies which had stolen her luggage on her way to Italy.
As for traitis dc hixc, they were dens of robbers.
So when we reached Malines, just to satisfy Lady Georgina,
I put out my head and inquired of a porter. As I antici-
pated, he replied that there was no change; we went through
to Verviers.
The Count, however, was still unsatisfied. He descended,
and made some remarks a little farther down the platform to
an official in the gold-banded cap of a chcf-de-gare, or some
such functionary. Then he returned to us, all fuming.
" It is as I said," he exclaimed, flinging open the door.
' ' These rogues have deceived us. The coupe goes no farther.
You must dismount at once, miladi, and take the train just
opposite."
I felt sure he was wrong, and I ventured to say so. But
Lady Georgina cried, " Nonsense, child ! The chef-de-garc
must know. Get out at once ! Bring my bag and the rugs !
Mind that cloak ! Don't forget the sandwich-tin ! Thanks,
Count; will you kindly take charge of my umbrellas?
Hurry up, Lois ; hurry up ! the train is just starting ! "
I scrambled after her, with my fourteen bundles, keeping
a quiet eye meanwhile on the jewel-case.
We took our seats in the opposite train, which I noticed
The Cantankerous Old Lady 29
was marked "Amsterdam, Bruxelles, Paris." But I said
nothing. The Count jumped in, jumped about, arranged
our parcels, jumped out again. He spoke to a porter ; then
he rushed back excitedly. " Milk pardons, miladi," he
cried. " I find the chcf-de-gare has cruelly deceived me. You
were right, after all, mademoiselle ! We must return to the
coupi!''
With singular magnanimity, I refrained from saying, " I
told you so. ' '
Lady Georgina, very flustered and hot by this time, tum-
bled out once more, and bolted back to the coupe. Both
trains were just starting. In her hurry, at last, she let the
Count take possession of her jewel-case. I rather fancy that
as he passed one window he handed it in to the shabby-
looking passenger; but I am not certain. At any rate, when
we were comfortably seated in our own compartment once
more, and he stood on the footboard j ust about to enter, of
a sudden he made an unexpected dash back, and flung him-
self wildly into a Paris carriage. At the selfsame moment,
with a piercing shriek, both trains started.
Lady Georgina threw up her hands in a frenzy of horror.
" My diamonds ! " she cried aloud. " Oh, Lois, my dia-
monds ! "
" Don't distress yourself," I answered, holding her back,
or I verily believe she would have leapt from the train.
" He has only taken the outer shell, with the sandwich-
case inside it. Here is the steel box ! " And I produced it
triumphantly.
She seized it, overjoyed. *' How did this happen ? " she
cried, hugging it, for she loved those diamonds.
Very simply," I answered. " I saw the man was a
<(
30
Miss Cayley's Adventures
rogue, and that he had a confederate with him in another
carriage. So, while you were gone to the buffet at Ostend,
I slipped the box out of the case, and put in the sandwich-
tin, that he might carry it off, and we might have proofs
against him. All you will have to do now is to inform the
conductor, who will telegraph to stop the train to Paris. I
spoke to him about that at Ostend, so that everything is
ready."
She positively hugged me. " My dear," she cried, " you
are the cleverest little woman I ever met in my life ! Who
on earth could have suspected such a polished gentleman !
Why, you 're worth your weight in gold. What the dickens
shall I do without you at Schlangenbad ? "
CHAPTER II
THE ADVENTURE OF THE SUPERCILIOUS ATTACH:^
THE Count must have been an adept in the gentle art
of quick-change disguise ; for though we telegraphed
full particulars of his appearance from Louvain, the
next station, nobody in the least resembling either him or
his accomplice, the shabby-looking man, could be unearthed
in the Paris train when it drew up at Brussels, its first stop-
ping-place. They must have transformed themselves mean-
while into two different persons. Indeed, from the outset, I
had suspected his moustache — 't was so very distinguished.
When we reached Cologne, the Cantankerous Old Lady
overwhelmed me with the warmth of her thanks and praises.
Nay, more ; after breakfast next morning, before we set out
by slow train for Schlangenbad, she burst like a tornado into
my bedroom at the Cologne hotel with a cheque for twenty
guineas, drawn in my favour. " That 's for you, my dear,"
she said, handing it to me, and looking really quite gracious.
I glanced at the piece of paper and felt my face glow crim-
son. " Oh, Lady Georgina," I cried; " you misunderstand.
You forget that I am a lady."
" Nonsense, child, nonsense ! Your courage and prompti-
tude were worth ten times that sum," she exclaimed, posi-
31
32
Miss Cayley's Adventures
tively slipping her arm round my neck. " It was your
courage I particularly admired, Lois ; because you faced the
risk of my happening to look inside the outer case, and find-
ing you had abstracted the blessed box ; in which case I
I PUT HER HAND BACK FIRMLV.
might quite naturally have concluded you meant to steal it."
" I thought of that," I answered. " But I decided to risk
it. I felt it was worth while. For I was sure the man
meant to take the case as soon as ever you gave him the
opportunity."
" Then you deserve to be rewarded," she insisted, press-
ing the cheque upon me. VJ\
The Supercilious Attache 33
I put her hand back firmly. " Lady Georgina," I said,
" it is very amiable of you. I think you do right in offering
me the money ; but I think I should do altogether wrong in
accepting it. A lady is not honest from the hope of gain ;
she is not brave because she expects to be paid for her
bravery. You were my employer, and I was bound to serve
my employer's interests. I did so as well as I could, and
there is the end of it. ' '
She looked absolutely disappointed ; we all hate to crush
a benevolent impulse ; but she tore the cheque up into very
small pieces. " As you will, my dear," she said, with her
hands on her hips ; "I see you are poor Tom Cayley's
daughter. He was always a bit Quixotic." Though I be-
lieve she liked me all the better for my refusal.
On the way from Cologne to Eltville, however, and on the
drive up to Schlangenbad, I found her just as fussy and as
worrying as ever. " Let me see, how many of these horrid
pfennigs make an English penny ? I never ca7i remember.
Oh, those silly little nickel things are ten pfennigs each, are
they ? Well, eight would be a penny, I suppose. A mark 's-
a shilling ; ridiculous of them to divide it into ten pence in-
stead of twelve ; one never really knows how much one 's
paying for anything. Why these Continental people can't
be content to use pounds, shillings, and pence, all over alike^
the same as we do, passes 7ny comprehension. They 're glad
enough to get English sov^ereigns when they can ; why,
then, don't they use them as such, instead of reckoning
them each at twenty-five francs, and then trying to cheat
you out of the proper exchange, which is always ten centimes
more than the brokers give you ? What, rev use their beastly
decimal system ? Lois, I 'm ashamed of you. An English
3
34 Miss Cayley's Adventures
girl to turn and rend her native country like that ! Francs
and centimes, indeed ! Fancy proposing it at Peter Robin-
son's ! No, I will not go by the boat, my dear. I hate the
Rhine boats, crowded with nasty selfish pigs of Germans.
What /like is a first-class compartment all to myself, and
no horrid foreigners. Especially Germans. They 're burst-
ing with self-satisfaction — have such an exaggerated belief
in their * land ' and their ' folk.' And when they come to
England, they do nothing but find faul*" with us. If people
are n't satisfied with the countries they trav^el in, they 'd
better stop at home — that 's my opinion. Nasty pigs of
Germans! The very sight of them sickens me. Oh, I don't
mind if they do understand me, child. They all learn Eng-
lish nowadays ; it helps them in trade — that 's why they 're
driving us out of all the markets. But it viust be good for
them to learn once in a way what other people really think
of them — civilised people, I mean ; not Germans. They 're
a set of barbarians."
We reached Schlangenbad alive, though I sometimes
doubted it, for my old lady did her boisterous best to rouse
some peppery German officer into cutting our throats incon-
tinently by the way ; and when we got there, we took up
our abode in the nicest hotel in the village. Lady Georgina
had engaged the best front room on the first floor, with a
charming view across the pine-clad valley ; but I must do
her the justice to say that she took the second best for me,
and that she treated me in every way like the guest she de-
lighted to honour. My refusal to accept her twenty guineas
made her anxious to pay it back to me within the terms of
our agreement. vShe described me to everybody as a young
friend who was travelling with her, and never gave any one
The Supercilious Attache 35
the slightest hint of my being a paid companion. Our ar-
rangement was that I was to have two guineas for the week,
besides my travelHng expenses, board, and lodging.
On our first morning at Schlangenbad, Lady Georgina
sallied forth, very much overdressed, and in a youthful hat,
to use the waters. They are valued chiefly for the com-
plexion, I learned ; I wondered then why Lady Geoigina
came there — for she had n't any ; but they are also recom-
mended for nervous irritability, and as Lady Georgina had
visited the place almost every summer for fifteen years, it
opened before one's mind an appalling vista of what her tem-
per might have been if she had not gone to Schlangenbad.
The hot springs are used in the form of a bath. " You don't
need them, my dear," Lady Georgina said to me, with a
good-humoured smile ; and I will own that I did not, for
nature had gifted me with a tolerable cuticle. But I like
when at Rome to do as Rome does ; so I tried the baths
once. I found them unpleasantly smooth and oily. I do
not freckle, but if I did, I think I should prefer freckles.
We walked much on the terrace — the inevitable dawdling
promenade of all German watering-places, — it reeked of
Serene Highness. We also drove out among the low wooded
hills which bound the Rhine valley. The majority of the
visitors, I found, were ladies — Court ladies, most of them ;
all there for their complexions, but all anxious to assure me
privately they had come for what they described as ' ' nervous
debility." I divided them at once into two classes : half of
them never had and never would have a complexion at all ;
the other half had exceptionally smooth and beautiful skins,
of which they were obviously proud, and whose pink-and-
white peach-blossom they thought to preserve by assiduous
36 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
bathing. It was vanity working on two opposite bases.
There was a sprinkling of men, however, who were really
there for a sufficient reason — wounds or serious complaints ;
while a few good old sticks, porty and whisty, were in at-
tendance on invalid wives or sisters.
From the beginning I noticed that I<ady Georgina went
peering about all over the place, as if she were hunting for
something she had lost, with her long-handled tortoise-shell
glasses perpetually in evidence — the " aristocratic outrage "
I called them — and that she eyed all the men with peculiar
attention. But I took no open notice of her little weakness.
On our second day at the Spa, I was sauntering with her
down the chief street — ' ' a beastly little hole, my dear ; not
a decent shop where one can buy a reel of thread or a yard
of tape in the place ! "—when I observed a tall and hand-
some young man on the opposite side of the road cast a hasty
glance at us, and then sneak around the corner hurriedly.
He was a loose-limbed, languid-looking young man, with
large, dreamy eyes, and a peculiarly beautiful and gentle
expression ; but what I noted about him most was an odd
superficial air of superciliousness. He seemed always to
be looking down with scorn on that foolish jumble, the uni-
verse. He darted away so rapidly, however, that I hardly
discovered all this just then. I piece it out from subsequent
observations.
Later in the day, we chanced to pass a cafi, where three
young exquisites sat sipping Rhine wines after the fashion
of the country. One of them, with a gold-tipped cigarette
held gracefully between two slender fingers, was my languid-
looking young aristocrat. He was blowing out smoke in a
lazy blue stream. The moment he saw me, however, he
The Supercilious Attache
37
turned away as if he desired to escape observation, and
ducked down so as to hide his face behind his companions.
HE CAST A HASTY (il.ANCE AT IS,
I wondered why on earth he should want to avoid me.
Could this be the Count ? No, the young man with the halo
38 Miss Cayley's Adventures
of cigarette smoke stood three inches taller. Who, then, at
Schlangenbad could wish to avoid my notice ? It was a
singular mystery ; for I was quite certain the supercilious
j'oung man was trying his best to prevent my seeing him.
That evening, after dinner, the Cantankerous Old Lady
burst out suddenly: " Well, I can't for the life of me imagine
why Harold lias n't turned up here. The wretch knew I
was coming ; and I heard from our Ambassador at Rome
last week that he was going to be at Schlangenbad."
" Wnio is Harold ? " I asked.
" My nephew," Lady Georgina snapped back, beating a
devil's tattoo with her fan on the table. " The only member
of my family, except myself, who is n' t a born idiot. Harold 's
not an idiot ; he 's an attache at Rome."
I saw it at a glance. Then he is in Schlangenbad," I
answered. " I noticed him this morning."
The old lad}^ turned towards me sharpl3^ She peered
right through me, as if she were a Rontgen ray. I could
see she was asking herself whether this was a conspiracy,
and whether I had come there on purpose to meet " Harold."
But I Matter myself I am tolerably mistress of my own
countenance. I did not blench. " How do you know?"
she asked quickly, with an acid intonation.
If I had answered the truth, I should have said: " I know
he is here, because I saw a good-looking young man evi-
dently trying to avoid you this morning ; and if a young
man has the misfortune to be born j'our nephew, and also to
have expectations from you, it is easy to understand that he
would prefer to keep out of your way as long as possible."
But that would have been neither polite nor politic. More-
over, I reflected that I had no particular reason for wishing
The Supercilious Attache
39
to do Mr. Harold a bad turn ; and that it would be kinder to
him, as well as to her, to conceal the reasons on which I
based my instinctive inference. So I took up a strong strat-
egic position. " I have an intuition that I saw him in the vil-
40 Miss Cayley's Adventures
lage this morning," I said. " Family likeness, perhaps. I
merely jumped at it as you spoke. A tall, languid young
man ; large, poetical eyes ; an artistic moustache— just a
trifle Oriental-looking."
" That 's Harold ! " the Cantankerous Old Lady rapped
out sharply, with clear conviction. " The miserable boy I
Why on earth has n't he been round to see me ? "
I reflected that I knew why ; but I did not say so. Silence
is golden. I also remarked mentally on that curious human
blindness which had made me conclude at first that the su-
percilious young man was trying to avoid 7)ie, when I might
have guessed it was far more likely he was trying to avoid
my companion. I was a nobody ; Lady Georgina Fawley
was a woman of European reputation.
" Perhaps he did n't know which hotel you were stopping
at," I put in, " Or even that you were here." I felt a
sudden desire to shield poor Harold.
'* Not know which hotel ? Nonsense, child ; he knows I
come here on this precise date regularly every sumiver ; and
if he did n't know, is it likely I should try any other inn,
when this is the only moderately decent house to stop at in
Schlangenbad ? And the morning coffee undrinkable at
that ; while the hash — such hash ! But that 's the way in
Germany. He 's an ungrateful monster ; if he comes now,
I shall refuse to see him."
Next morning after breakfast, however, in spi'-.e of these
threats, she hauled me forth with her on the Harold hunt.
She had sent the concierge to inquire at all the hotels already,
it seemed, and found her truant at none of them ; now she
ransacked the pensions. At last she hunted him down in a
house on the hill. I could see she was really hurt.
The Supercilious Attache 4^
" Harold, you viper, what do you mean by trying to avoid
me?"
" My dear aunt, jyou here in Schlangenbad ! Why, when
did you arrive ? And what a colour you 've got ! You 're
looking so well ! " That clever thrust saved him.
He cast me an appealing glance. " You will not betray
me?" it said. I answered, mutely, "Not for worlds,"
with a faltering pair of downcast eyelids.
" Oh, I 'm we// enough, thank you," Lady Georgina re-
plied, somewhat mollified by his astute allusion to her per-
sonal appearance. He had hit her weak point dexterously.
" As well, that is, as one can expect to be nowadays.
Hereditary gout — the sins of the fathers visited as usual.
But why did n't you come to see me ? "
" How can I come to see you if you don't tell me where
you are ? ' Lady Georgina Fawley, Europe,' was the only
address I knew. It strikes me as insufficient."
His gentle drawl was a capital foil to Lady Georgina' s
acidulous soprano. It seemed to disarm her. She turned to
me with a benignant wave of her hand. " Miss Cayley,"
she said, introducing me ; " my nephew, Mr. Harold Tilling-
ton. You 've heard me talk of poor Tom Cayley, Harold ?
This is poor Tom Cayley's daughter."
"Indeed?" the supercilious attache put in, looking
hard at me. " Delighted to make Miss Cayley's acquaint-
ance."
" Now, Harold, I can tell from your voice at once you
have n't remembered one word about Captain Cayley."
Harold stood on the defensive. ' ' My dear aunt, " ' he ob-
served, expanding both palms, " I have heard you talk of so
very many people, that even vij> diplomatic memory fails at
42 Miss Cayley's Adventures
times to recollect them all. But I do better ; I dissemble.
I will plead forgetfuluess now of Captain Cayley, since you
force it on me. It is not likely I shall have to plead it of
Captain Cayley's daughter." And he bowed toward me
gallantly.
The Cantankerous Old Lady darted a lightning glance at
him. It was a glance of quick suspicion. Then she turned
her Rontgen rays upon my face once more. I fear I burned
crimson.
" A friend ? " he asked. " Or a fellow-guest ? "
" A companion." It was the first nasty thing she had
said of me.
" Ha ! more than a friend, then. A comrade." He
turned the edge neatly.
We walked out on the terrace and a little way up the zig-
zag path. The day was superb. I found Mr. Tillington, in
spite of his studiously languid and supercilious air, a most
agreeable companion. He knew Europe. He was full of
talk of Rome and the Romans, He had epigrammatic wit,
curt, keen, and pointed. We sat down on a bench ; he kept
Lady Georgina and myself amused for an hour by his crisp
sallies. Besides, he had been everywhere and seen every-
body. Culture and agriculture seemed all one to him.
When we rose to go in, Lady Georgina remarked, with
emphasis, " Of course, Harold, you '11 come and take up
your diggings at our hotel ? "
" Of course, my dear aunt. How can you ask? Free
quarters. Nothing would give me greater pleasure."
She glanced at him keenly again. I saw she had expected
him to fake up some lame excuse for not joining us ; and I
fancied she was annoyed at his prompt acquiescence, which
The Supercilious Attache 43
had done her out of the chance for a family disagreement.
" Oh, j'ou '11 come then ? " she said, grudgingl}'.
" Certainly, most respected aunt. I shall much prefer it."
She let her piercing eye descend upon me once more. I
was aware that I had been talking with frank ease of manner
to Mr. Tillington, and that I had said several things which
clearly amused him. Then I remembered all at once our
relative positions. A companion, I felt, should know her
place ; it is not her role to be smart and amusing. " Per-
haps," I said, drawing back, " Mr. Tillington would like to
remain in his present quarters till the end of the week, while
I am with you, lyady Georgina ; after that, he could have
my room ; it might be more convenient."
His eye caught mine quickly. " Oh, you 're only going
to stop a week, then. Miss Cay ley ? " he ^^ut in, with an air
of disappointment.
" Only a week," I nodded.
" My dear child," the Cantankerous Old Lady broke out,
" what nonsense you do talk ! Only going to .stop a week ?
How can I exist without you ? "
" That was the arrangement," I said, mischievously.
" You were going to look about, you recollect, for an un-
sophisticated Gretchen. You don't happen to know of any
warehouse where a supply of unsophisticated Gretchens is
kept constantly in stock, do you, Mr. Tillington ? "
" No, I don't," he answered, laughing. " I believe there
are dodos' and auks' eggs, in very small numbers, still to be
procured in the proper quarters ; but the unsophisticated
Gretchen, I am credibl}'^ informed, is an extinct animal.
Why, the cap of one fetches high prices nowadays among
collectors. " .
44 Miss Cayley's Adventures
" But you will come to the hotel at once, Harold ? " Lady
Georgina interposed.
*' Certainly, aunt. I will move in without delay. If
Miss Cayley is going to stay for a single week only, that adds
one extra inducement for joining you immediately."
His aunt's stony eye was cold as marble.
So when we got back to our hotel after the baths that
afternoon, the concierge greeted us with : " Well, your noble
nephew has arrived, high-well-born countess ! He came
with his boxes just now, and has taken a room near your
honourable ladyship's."
Lady Georgina's face was a study of mingled emotions.
I don't know whether she looked more pleased or jealous.
Later in the day, I chanced on Mr. Tillington, sunning
himself on a bench in the hotel garden. He rose, and came
up to me, as fast as his languid nature permitted. " Oh,
Miss Cayley," he said, abruptly, " I do want to thank you
so much for not betraying me. I know you spotted me
twice in the town yesterday ; and I also know you were
good enough to say nothing to my revered aunt about it."
" I had no reason for wishing to hurt Lady Georgina's
feelings," I answered, with a permissible evasion.
His countenance fell. " I never thought of that," he
interposed, with one hand on his moustache. " I — I fancied
you did it out of fellow-feeling."
" We all think of things mainly from our own point of
view first," I answered. " The difference is that some of us
think of them from other people's afterwards. Motives are
mixed."
He smiled. " I did n't know my deeply venerated rela-
tive was coming here so soon," he went on. " I thought
The Supercilious Attache
45
she was n't expected till next week ; my brother wrote me
that she had quarrelled with her French maid, and 't would
take her full ten days to get another. I meant to clear out
"circumstances alter cases, he murmured.
before she arrived. To tell you the truth, I was going to-
morrow. ' '
" And now you are stopping on ? "
46 Miss Cayley's Adventures
He caught my eye again.
" Circumstances alter cases," he murmured, with meaning.
"It is hardly polite to describe one as a circumstance," I
objected.
" I meant," he said, quickly, " my aunt alone is one thing;
my aunt with a friend is quite another."
" I see," I answered, " There is safety in numbers."
He eyed me hard.
*' Are you mediaeval or modern ? " he asked.
" Modern, I hope," I replied. Then I looked at him
again. "Oxford?"
He nodded. " And you ? " half joking.
" Cambridge," I said, glad to catch him out. " What
college ? "
" Merton. Yours?"
" Girton."
The odd rhyme amused him. Thenceforth we were
friends — " two 'Varsity men," he said. And indeed it does
make a queer sort of link — a freemasonry to which even
women are now admitted.
At dinner and through the evening he talked a great deal
to me, Lady Georgina putting in from time to time a char-
acteristic growl about the tablc-d'hdte chicken — " a special
breed, my dear, with eight drumsticks apiece" — or about
the inadequate lighting of the heavy German salo7t. She
was worse than ever ; pungent as a rule, that evening she
was grumpy. When we retired for the night, to my great
surprise, she walked into my bedroom. She seated herself
on my bed : I saw she had come to talk over Harold.
" He will be very rich, my dear, you know. A great
catch in time. He will inherit all my brother's money."
The Supercilious Attache 47
"Lord Kynaston's?"
" Bless the child, no. Kynaston 's as poor as a church
mouse with the tithes unpaid ; he has three sons of his own,
and not a blessed stiver to leave between them. How could
he, poor dear idiot ? Agricultural depression ; a splendid
pauper. He has only the estate, and that 'sin Essex ; land
going begging ; worth nothing a year, encumbered up to the
eyes, and loaded with first rent-charges, jointures, settle-
ments. Money, indeed ! poor Kynaston ! It 's my brother
Marmaduke's I mean ; lucky dog, //^ went in for speculation
— began life as a guinea-pig, and rose with the rise of soap
and cocoa. He 's worth his half- million."
" Oh, Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst."
I<ady Georgina nodded. " Marmy 's a fool," she .said,
briefly; " but he knows which side of his bread is buttered."
" And Mr. Tillington is — his nephew ? "
" Bless the child, yes ; have you never read your British
Bible, the peerage ? Astonishing, the ignorance of these
Girton girls ! They don't even know the Leger 's run at
Doncaster. The family name 's Ashurst. Kynaston 's an
earl — I was Lady Georgina Ashurst before I took it into my
head to marry and do for poor Evelyn Fawley. My younger
brother 's the Honourable Marmaduke Ashurst — women get
the best of it there — it 's about the only place where they do
get the best of it : an earl's daughter is Lady Betty ; his
son 's nothing more than the Honourable Tom. So one
scores off"one 's brothers. My younger sister, Lady Guinevere
Ashurst, married Stanley Tillington of the Foreign Office.
Harold 's their eldest son. Now, child, do you grasp it ? "
" Perfectly," I answered. " You speak like Debrett.
Has issue, Harold."
'\':''
48 Miss Cayley's Adventures
' ' And Harold will inherit all Marmaduke's money. What
I 'm always afraid of is that some fascinating adventuress
will try to marry him out of hand. A pretty face, and over
goes Harold ! Afy business in life is to stand in the way
and prevent it."
She looked me through and through again with her X-ray
scrutiny.
" I don't think Mr. Tillington is quite the sort that falls a
prey to adventuresses, ' ' I answered, boldly.
" Ah, but there are faggots and faggots," the old lady
said, wagging her head with profound meaning. " Never
mind, though ; / 'd like to see an adventuress marry off
Harold without my leave ! / 'd lead her a life ! I 'd turn
her black hair grey for her ! "
" I should think," I assented, ** you could do it, I^ady
Georgina, if you gave your attention seriously to it."
From that moment forth, I was aware that my Cantanker-
ous Old lyady's malign eye was inexorably fixed upon me
every time I went within speaking distance of Mr. Tilling-
ton, She watched him like a lynx. She watched fne like a
dozen lynxes. Wherever we went, Lady Georgina was sure
to turn up in the neighbourhood. She was perfectly ubiqui-
tous : she seemed to possess a world-wide circulation. I
don't know whether it was this constant suggestion of hers
that I was stalking her nephew which roused my latent
human feeling of opposition ; but in the end, I began to be
aware that I rather liked the supercilious attache than other-
wise. He evidently liked me, and he tried to meet me.
Whenever he spoke to me, indeed, it was without the super-
ciliousness which marked his manner toward others ; in
point of fact, it was with graceful deference. He watched
The Supercilious Attache 49
for me on the stairs, in the garden, by the terrace ; when-
ever he got a chance, he sidled over and talked to nie.
Sometimes he stopped in to read me Heine : he also intro-
duced me to select portions of Gabriele d'Annunzio. It is
feminine to be touched by such obvious attention ; I confess,
before long, I grew to like Mr. Harold Tillington.
The closer he followed me up, the more did I perceive
that Lady Georgina threw out acrid hints with increasing
spleen about the ways of adventuresses. They were hints
of that acrimonious generalised kind, too, which one cannot
answer back without seeming to admit that the cap has
fitted. It was atrocious how middle-class young women
nowadays ran after young men of birth and fortune. A girl
would stoop to anything in order to catch five hundred thou-
sand. Guileless youths should be thrown among their
natural equals. It was a mistake to let them see too much
of people of a lower rank who consider themselves good-
looking. And the clever ones were the worst : they pre-
tended to go in for intellectual companionship.
I also noticed that though at first Lady Georgina had ex-
pressed the strongest disinclination to my leaving her after
the time originally proposed, she now began to take for
granted that I would go at the end of my week, as arranged
in London, and she even went on to some overt steps towards
securing the help of the blameless Gretchen.
We had arrived at Schlangenbad on Tuesday. I was to
stop with the Cantankerous Old Lady till the corresponding
day of the following week. On the Sunday, I wandered out
on the wooded hillside behind the village ; and as I mounted
the path I was dimly aware by a sort of instinct that Harold
Tillington was following me.
50 Miss Cayley's Adventures
He came up with me at last near a ledge of rock. " How
fast you walk ! " he exclaimed. " I gave you only a few
minutes' start, and yet even my long legs have had hard
work to overtake you. ' '
" I am a fairly good climber," I answered, sitting down
on a little wooden bench. " You see, at Cambridge, I went
on the river a great deal — I canoed and sculled ; and then,
besides, I 've done a lot of bicycling."
" What a splendid birthright it is," he cried, " to be a
wholesome athletic English girl ! You can't think how one
admires English girls after living a year or two in Italy —
where women are dolls, except for a brief period of intrigue,
before they settle down to be contented frumps with an out-
line like a barrel."
" A little muscle and a little mind are no doubt advisable
adjuncts for a housewife," I admitted.
" You shall not say that word," he cried, seating himself
at my side. " It is a word for Germans, ' housewife.' Our
English ideal is something immeasurably higher and better.
A companion, a complement ! Do you know. Miss Cayley,
it always sickens me when I hear German students senti-
mentalising over their madchen : their beautiful, pure, in-
sipid, yellow-haired, blue-eyed madchen; her, so fair, so
innocent, so unapproachably vacuous — so like a wax doll —
and then think of how they design her in days to come to
cook sausages for their dinner, and knit them endless stock-
ings through a placid middle age, till the needles drop from
her paralysed fingers, and she retires into frilled caps and
Teutonic senility."
' * You seem to have almost as low an opinion of foreigners as
your respected aunt ! " I exclaimed, looking quizzically at him.
The Supercilious Attache 51^
He drew back, surprised. " Oh, no; I 'm not narrow-
minded, like my aunt, I hope," he answered. " I am a
good cosmopolitan. I allow Continental nations all their
own good points, and each has many. But their women,
Miss Cayley — and their point of view of their women — you
will admit that there they can't hold a candle to English
women."
I drew a circle in the dust with the tip of my parasol.
" On that issue, I may not be a wholly unprejudiced ob-
server," I answered. " The fact of my being myself an
Englishwoman may possibly to some extent influence my
j udgment. ' '
" You are sarcastic," he cried, drawing away.
" Not at all," I answered, making a wider circle. " I
spoke a simple fact. But what iajotir ideal, then, as opposed
to the German one ? ' '
He gazed at me and hesitated. His lips half parted.
" My ideal ? " he said, after a pause. " Well, my ideal —
do you happen to have such a thing as a pocket-mirror
about you ? ' '
I laughed in spite of myself. " Now, Mr. TilHngton," I
said severely, " if you 're going to pay compliments, I shall
have to return. If you want to stop here with me, you
must remember that I am only Lady Georgina Fawley's
temporary lady's-maid. Besides, I did n't mean that. I
meant, what is your ideal of a man's right relation to his
viddchen ? ' *
" Don't say madchen,'" he cried, petulantly. " It sounds
as if you thought me one of those sentimental Germans. I
hate sentiment."
" Then, towards the woman of his choice."
52 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
He glanced up through the tree.s at the light overhead,
and spoke more slowly than ev^er. " I think," he said,
fumbling his watch-chain nervously, " a man ought to wish
the woman he loves to be a free agent, his equal in point of
action, even as she is nobler and better than he in all
spiritual matters. I think he ought to desire for her a life
as high as she is capable of leading, with full scope for every
faculty of her intellect or her emotional nature. She should
be beautiful, with a vigorous, wholesome, many-sided
beauty, moral, intellectual, physical ; yet with soul in her,
too ; and with the soul and the mind lighting up her eyes,
as it lights up — well, that is immaterial. And if a man can
discover such a w^oman as that, and can induce her to be-
lieve in him, to love him, to accept him — though how such
a woman can be satisfied with any man at all is to me
unfathomable — well, then, I think he should be happy in
devoting his whole life to her, and should give himself up
to repay her condescension in taking him."
" And j'ou hate sentiment ! " I put in, smiling.
He brought his eyes back from the sky suddenly. " Miss
Cayley," he said, " this is cruel. I was in earnest. You
are playing with me."
" I believe the chief characteristic of the English girl is
supposed to be common sense," I answered, calmly, " and I
trust I possess it." But indeed, as he spoke, my heart was
beginning to make its beat felt ; for he was a charming
young man ; he had a soft voice and lustrous eyes ; it was a
summer's day ; and alone in the woods with one other per-
son, where the sunlight falls mellow in spots like a leopard's
skin, one is apt to remember that we are all human.
That evening I.ady Georgina managed to blurt out more
The Supercilious Attach^
53
malicious things than ever about the ways of adventuresses,
and the duty of relations in saving young men from the
MISS CAYLF.Y, HE SAIP, " YOU ARE PLAYING WITH ME.
clever clutches of designing creatures. She was ruthless in
her rancour ; her gibes stung me.
On Monday at breakfast I asked her casually if she had
yet found a Gretchen.
54 Miss Cayley's Adventures
" No," she answered, in a gloomy voice. " All slatterns,
my dear; all slatterns! Brought up in pig-sties. I would n't
let one of them touch my hair for thousands."
" That 's unfortunate," I said, drily, " for you know I 'm
going to-morrow."
If I had dropped a bomb in their midst they could n't have
looked more astonished. ' ' To-morrow ? ' ' Lady Georgina
gasped, clutching my arm. " You don't mean it, child ;
you don't mean it ? "
I asserted my Ego. " Certainly," I answered, with my
coolest air. " I said I thought I could manage you for a
week ; and I have managed you."
She almost burst into tears. " But, my child, my child,
what shall I do without you ? ' '
" The unsophisticated Gretchen," I answered, trying not
to look concerned ; for in my heart of hearts, in spite of her
innuendoes, I had really grown rather to like the Cantanker-
ous Old L,ady.
She rose hastily from the table, and darted up to her own
room. " Lois," she said, as she rose, in a curious voice of
mingled regret and suspicion, " I will talk to you about this
later." I could see she was not quite satisfied in her own
mind whether Harold Tillington and I had not arranged this
coup together.
I put on my hat and strolled off into the garden, and then
along the mossy hill path. In a minute more, Harold Til-
lington was beside me.
He seated me, half against my will, on a rustic bench.
" Look here. Miss Cayley," he said, with a very earnest
face ; " is this really true ? Are you going to-morrow ? "
My voice trembled a little. " Yes," I answered, biting
The Supercilious Attache 55
my lip, " I am going. I see several reasons why I should
go, Mr. Tillington."
"But so soon?"
" Yes, I think so ; the sooner the better." My heart was
racing now, and his eyes pleaded mutely.
" Then where are you going ? "
I shrugged my shoulders, and pouted my lips a little. " I
don't know," I replied. " The world is all before me where
to choose. I am an adventuress," I said it boldly, " and I
am in quest of adventures. I really have not yet given a
thought to my next place of sojourn,"
" But you will let me know when you have decided ? "
It was time to speak out. " No, Mr. Tillington," I said,
with decision. * ' I will not let you know. One of my reasons
for going is, that I think I had better see no more of you."
He flung himself on the bench at my side, and folded his
hands in a helpless attitude. " But, Miss Cayley," he cried,
" this is so short a notice ; you give a fellow no chance ; I
hoped I might have seen more of you — might have had son;i2
opportunity of — of letting you realise how deeply I admired
and respected you — some opportunity of showing myself as I
really am to you — before — before " he paused, and looked
hard at me.
I did not know what to say. I really liked him so much ;
and when he spoke in that voice, I could not bear to seem
cruel to him. Indeed, I was aware at the moment how much
I had grown to care for him in those six short days. But I
knew it was impossible. " Don't say it, Mr. Tillington," I
murmured, turning my face away. " The less said, the
sooner mended."
" But I must," he cried. " I must tell you now, if I am
56 Miss Cayley's Adventures
to have no chance afterwards. I wanted you to see more of
me before I ventured to ask you if you could ever love me,
if you could ever suffer me to go through life with you, to
share my all with you." He seized my trembling hand.
" Lois," he cried, in a pleading voice, " I vtust ask you ; I
can't expect you to answer me now, but do say you will give
me at least some other chance of seeing you, and then, in
time, of pressing my suit upon you."
Tears stood in my eyes. He was so earnest, so charming.
But I remembered Lady Georgina, and his prospective half-
million. I moved his hand away gently. " I cannot," I
said. " I cannot — I am a penniless girl — an adventuress.
Your family, your uncle, would never forgive you if you
married me. I will not stand in your way. I — I like you
very much, though I have seen so little of you. But I feel
it is impossible — and I am going to-morrow."
Then I rose of a sudden, and ran down the hill with all
my might, lest I should break my resolve, never stopping
once till I reached my own bedroom.
An hour later, Lady Georgina burst in upon me in high
dudgeon. " Why, Lois, my child ! " she cried. " What 's
this ? What on earth does it mean ? Harold tells me he
has proposed to you — proposed to you — and you 've rejected
him ! "
I dried my eyes and tried to look steadily at her. " Yes,
Lady Georgina," I faltered. " You need not be afraid. I
have refused him ; and I mean it."
She looked at me, all aghast. " And you mean it ! " she
repeated. " You mean to refuse him. Then, all I can say
is, Lois Cayley, I call it pure cheek of you ! "
" What ? " I cried, drawing back.
ROSE OF A SUDDEN, AND RAN DOWN THE HILL.
57
58 Miss Cay ley's Adventures
** Yes, cheek," she answered, volubly. " Forty thousand
a year, and a good old family ! Harold Tillington is my
nephew ; he 's an earl's grandson ; he 's an attache at Rome ;
and he 's bound to be one of the richest commoners in Eng-
land. Who are you, I 'd like to know, miss, that you dare
to reject him ? "
I stared at her, amazed. " But, Lady Georgina," I cried,
" you said you wished to protect your nephew against bare-
faced adventuresses who were setting their caps at him."
She fixed her eyes on me, half angry, half tremulous.
* ' Of course, ' ' she answered, with withering scorn. ' ' But,
thctiy I thought you were trying to catch him. He tells me
now you won't have him, and you won't tell him where 3'ou
are going. I call it sheer insolence. Where do you hail
from, girl, that you should refuse my nephew ? A man that
any woman in England would be proud to marry ! Forty
thousand a j'ear, and an earl's grandson ! That 's what
comes, I suppose, of going to Girton ! "
I drew myself up. " Lady Georgina," I said, coldly, " I
cannot allow you to use such language to me. I promised to
accompany you to Germany for a week ; and I have kept my
word. I like 3'our nephew ; I respect your nephew ; he has
behaved like a gentleman. But I will not marry him. Your
own conduct showed me in the plainest way that you did not
judge such a match desirable for him ; and I have conmion
sense enough to see that you were quite right. I am a lady
by birth and education ; I am an officer's daughter ; but I
am not what society calls a * good match ' for Mr. Tilling-
ton. He had better marry into a rich stock-broker' s family. ' '
It was an unworthy taunt ; the moment it escaped my lips
I regretted it.
Q
O
<
s
Q
<
O
o
o
o
H
O
Z
O
o
6o Miss Cayley's Adventures
To my intense surprise, however, Lady Georgina flung
herself on my bed, and burst into tears. " My dear," she
sobbed out, covering her face with her hands, " I thought
you would be sure to set your cap at Harold ; and after
I had seen you for twenty-four hours, I said to myself,
' That's just the sort of girl Harold ought to fall in love
with.' I felt sure he would fall in love with you. I
brought you here on purpose. I saw you had all the
qualities that would strike Harold's fancy. So I had made
up my mind for a delightful regulation family quarrel. I
was going to oppose you and Harold, tooth and nail ; I was
going to threaten that Manny would leave his money to
Kynaston's eldest son ; I was going to kick up, oh, a dickens
of a row about it ! Then, of course, in the end, we should
all have been reconciled ; we should have kissed and made
friends : for you 're just the one girl in the world for Harold ;
indeed, I never met anybody so capable and so intelligent.
And now you spoil all my sport by going and refusing him !
It 's really most ill-timed of you. And Harold has sent me
here — he 's trembling with anxiety — to see whether I can't
induce you to think better of your decision."
I made up my mind at once. " No, Lady Georgina," I
said, in my gentlest voice — positively stooping down and
kissing her. " I like Mr. Tillington very much. I dare not
tell you how much I like him. He is a dear, good, kind
fellow. But I cannot rest under the cruel imputation of be-
ing moved by his wealth and having tried to capture him.
Even if yoji did n't think so, his family would. I am sorry
to go ; for in a way I like you. But it is best to adhere to
our original plan. If / changed my mind, you might change
yours again. Let us say no more. I will go to-morrow."
" But you will see Harold again ? "
The Supercilious Attache 6i
" Not alone. Only at dinner." For I feared lest, if he
spoke to me alone, he might over-persuade me.
" Then at least you will tell him where you are going ? "
** No, Lady Georgina ; I do not know myself. And be-
sides, it is best that this should now be final."
She flung herself upon me. " But, my dear child, a lady
can't go out into the world with only two pounds in pocket.
You must let me lend you something."
I unwound her clasping hands. " No, dear Lady Geor-
gina," I said, though I was loth to say it. " You are very
sweet and good, but I must work out my life in my own
way. I have started to work it out, and I won't be turned
aside just here on the threshold."
" And you won't stop with me ? " she cried, opening her
arms. " You think me too cantankerous? "
" I think you have a dear, kind old heart," I said, " under
the quaintest and crustiest outside such a heart ever wore ;
you 're a truculent old darling ; so that 's the plain truth of
it."
She kissed me. I kissed her in return with fervour,
though I am but a poor hand at kissing, for a woman. " So
now this episode is concluded," I murmured.
" I don't know about that," she said, drying her eyes.
" I have set my heart upon you now ; and Karold has set
his heart upon j'^ou ; and considering that your own heart
goes much the same way, I daresay, my dear, we shall find
in the end some convenient road out of it."
Nevertheless, next morning I set out by myself in the
coach from Schlangenbad. I went forth into the world to
live my own life, partly because it was just then so fashion-
able, but mainly because fate had denied me the chance of
living anybody else's.
CHAPTER III
THK ADVENTURE OF THE INQUISITIVE AMERICAN
IN one week I had multiplied my capital two-hundred-and-
forty-fold ! I left London with but twopence in the
world ; I quitted Schlangenbad with two pounds in
pocket.
" There 's a splendid turn-over ! " I thought to myself.
** If this luck holds, at the same rate, I shall have made four
hundred and eighty pounds by Tuesday next, and I may
look forward to being a Barney Barnato by Christmas."
For I had taken high mathematical honours at Cambridge,
and if there is anything on earth on which I pride myself, it
is my firm grasp of the principle of ratios.
Still, in spite of this brilliant financial prospect, a budding
Klondike, I went away from the little Spa on the flanks of
the Taunus with a heavy heart. I had grown quite to like
dear, virulent, fidgety old Lady Georgina ; and I felt that it
had cost me a distinct wrench to part with Harold Tillington.
The wrench left a scar which was long in healing ; but as I
am not a professional sentimentalist, I will not trouble you
here with details of the symptoms.
My livelihood, however, was now assured me. With two
pounds in pocket, a sensible girl can read her title clear to
62
The Inquisitive American 63
six days' board and lodging, at six marks a day, with a
glorious margin of four marks over for pocket-money. And
if at the end of six days my fairy godmother had not pointed
me out some other means of earning my bread honestly —
well, I should feel myself unworthy to be ranked in the noble
army of adventuresses. I thank thee, Lady Georgina, for
teaching me that word. An adventuress I would be ; for I
loved adventure.
Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I might fill up the in-
terval by going to study art at Frankfort. Elsie Petheridge
had been there, and had impressed upon me the fact that I
must on no account omit to see the Stadel Gallery. She was
strong on culture. Besides, the study of art should be most
useful to an adventuress ; for she must need all the arts that
human skill has developed.
So to Frankfort I betook myself, and found there a nice
little />e7is/on — " for ladies only," Frau Bockenheimer assured
me — at very moderate rates, in a pleasant part of the Linden-
strasse. It had dimity curtains. I will not deny that as I
entered the house I was conscious of feeling lonely ; my
heart sank once or twice as I glanced round the luncheon
table at the domestically unsympathetic German old maids
who formed the rank-and-file of my fellow-boarders. There
they sat — eight comfortable fraus who had missed their vo-
cation ; plentiful ladies, bulging and surging in tightly-
stretched black silk bodices. They had been cut out for
such housewives as Harold Tillington had described, but
found themselves deprived of their natural sphere in life by
the unaccountable caprice of the men of their nation. Each
was a model Teutonic matron vianquic. Each looked capa-
ble of frying Frankfort sausages to a turn, and knitting
64 Miss Cayley's Adventures
woollen socks to a remote eternity. But I sought in vain foi
one kindred soul among them. How horrified they would
have been, with their fat pudding-faces and big saucer-eyes,
had I boldly announced myself as an English adventuress !
I spent my first morning in laborious self-education at the
Ariadneu'm and the Stadel Gallery. I borrowed a catalogue.
I wrestled with Van der Weyden ; I toiled like a galley-
slave at Meister Wilhelm and Meister Stephan. I have a
confused recollection that I saw a number of stiff mediaeval
pictures, and an alabaster statue of the lady who smiled as
she rode on a tiger, taken at the beginning of that interest-
ing episode. But the remainder of the Institute has faded
from my memory.
In the afternoon I consoled myself for my herculean efforts
in the direction of culture by going out for a bicycle ride on
a hired machine, to which end I decided to devote my
pocket-money. You will, perhaps, object here that my con-
duct was imprudent. To raise that objection is to misunder-
stand the spirit of these artless adventures. I told you that
I set out to go round the world ; but to go round the world
does not necessarily mean to circumnavigate it. My idea
was to go round by easy stages, seeing the world as I went
as far as I got, and taking as little heed as possible of the
morrow. Most of my readers, no doubt, accept that philo-
sophy of life on Sundays only ; on week-days they swallow
the usual contradictory economic platitudes about prudential
forethought and the horrid improvidence of the lower classes.
For myself, I am not built that way. I prefer to take life in
a spirit of pure enquiry. I put on my hat ; I saunter where
I choose, so far as circumstances permit ; and I wait to see
what chance will bring me. My ideal is breeziness.
The Inquisitive American 65
The hired bicycle was not a bad machine, as hired bicycles
go ; it jolted one as little as you can expect from a common
hack ; it never stopped at a bier-garten ; and it showed very
few signs of having been ridden by beginners with an un-
conquerable desire to tilt at the hedgerow. So off I soared
at once, heedless of the jeers of Teutonic youth who found
the sight of a lady in skirts riding a cycle a strange one — for
in South Germany the " rational " costume is so universal
among women cyclists that 't is the skirt that provokes un-
favourable comment from those jealous guardians of female
propriety, the street boys. I hurried on at a brisk pace past
the Palm-garden and the suburbs, with my loose hair stray-
ing on the breeze behind, till I found myself pedalling at a
good round pace on a broad, level road, which led towards a
village, by name Fraunheim.
As I scurried across the plain, with the wind in my face,
not unpleasantly, I had some dim consciousness of somebody
unknown flying after me headlong. My first idea was that
Harold Tillington had hunted me down and tracked me to
my lair ; but gazing back, I saw my pursuer was a tall and
ungainly man, with a straw-coloured moustache, apparently
American, and that he was following me on his machine,
closely watching my action. He had such a cunning ex-
pression on his face, and seemed so strangely inquisitive,
with eyes riveted on my treadles, that I did n't quite like
the look of him. I put on the pace, to see if I could outstrip
him, for I am a swift cyclist. But his long legs were too
much for me. He did not gain on me, it is true ; but neither
did I outpace him. Pedalling my very hardest — and I can
make good time when necessary — I still kept pretty much
at the same distance in front of him all the way to Fraunheim.
66
Miss Cayley's Adventures
Gradually I began to feel sure that the weedj'-looking man
with the alert face was really pursuing me. When I went
faster, he went faster too ; when I gave him a chance to pass
me, he kept close at my heels, and appeared to be keenly
watching the style of my ankle-action. I gathered that he
was a connoisseur ; but why on earth he should persecute me
I could not imagine. My spirit was roused now— I pedalled
with a will; if I rode all day I would not let him go past me.
«ei=?te
HK KKPT CLOSK AT MY HEELS.
Be5'^ond the cobble-paved chief street of Fraunheim the
road took a sharp bend, and began to mount the slopes of
the Taunus suddenly. It was an abrupt, steep climb ; but
I flatter myself I am a tolerable mountain cyclist. I rode
sturdily on ; my pursuer darted after me. But on this stiff
upward grade my light weight and agile ankle-action told ;
I began to distance him. He seemed afraid that I would
give him the .slip, and called out suddenly, with a whoop, in
English, " St(^p, mi.ss ! " I looked back with dignity, but
The Inquisitive American
67
answered nothing. He put on the pace, panting; I pedalled
awa}'^ and got clear from him.
At a turn of the corner, however, a.s luck would have it, I
was pulled up short by a mounted policeman. He blocked
the road with his horse, like an ogre, and asked me, in a
I WAS PULLET) UP SHORT HY A MOUNTF.n roMCF.MAN.
very gruff v'^wabian voice, if this was a licensed bicycle. I
had no idea, till he spoke, that any license was required ;
though to be sure I might have guessed it ; for modern Ger-
many is studded with notices at all the street corners, to in-
form you in minute detail that everything is forl)idden. I
stammered out that I did not know. The mounted police^
68 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
man drew near and inspected nie rudely. " It is strongly
undersaid," he began, but just at that moment my pursuer
came up, and, with American quickness, took in the situa-
tion. He accosted the policeman in choice bad German.
' ' I have two licenses, ' ' he said, producing a handful. ' ' The
Fraulein rides with me. ' ' I was too much taken aback at so
providential an interposition to contradict this highly im-
aginative statement. My highwayman had turned into a
protecting knight-errant of injured innocence. I let the
policeman go his way ; then I glanced at my preserver. A
very ordinary modern St. George he looked, with no lance
to speak of, and no steed but a bicycle. Yet his mien was
reassuring.
" Good-morning, miss," he began — he called me " miss "
ev^ery time he addressed me, as though he took me for a bar-
maid. " Ex-cuse mc, but why did you want to speed
her?"
" I thought you were pursuing me, ' I answered, a little
tremulous, I will confess, but avid of incident.
" And if I was," he went on, " you might have con-
jectured, miss, it was for our nuitual advantage. A busi-
ness man don't go out of his way unless he expects to turn
an honest dollar ; and he don't reckon on other folks going
out of theirs, unless he knows he can put them in the way
of turning an honest dollar with him."
" That 's reasonable," I answered ; for I am a political
economist. " The benefit should be mutual." But I won-
dered if he were going to propose at sight to me.
He looked me all up and down. " You 're a lady of con-
siderable personal attractions," he said, musingly, as if he
were criticising a horse ; ' ' and I want one that sort. That ' s
The Inquisitive American
69
jest why I trailed you, see ? Besides which, there 's some
style about you."
"Style !" I repeated.
SEEMS I DIU N T MAKE MUCH OK A JOU OF IT.
" Yes," he went on ; " you know how to use your feet ;
and you have good understandings."
I gathered from his glance that he referred to my nether
limbs. We are all vertebrate animals ; why seek to conceal
the fact ?
70 Miss Cayley's Adventures
" I fail to follow you," I answered frigidly ; for I really
did n't know what the man might say next.
" That 's so ! " he replied. " It was /that foil o wed jj/^?</
seems I did n't make much of a job of it, either, anyway."
I mounted my machine again. " Well, good-morning," I
said, coldly. " I am much obliged for your kind assistance ;
but your remark was fictitious, and I desire to go on un-
accompanied."
He held up his hand in warning. " You ain't going ! "
he cried, horrified. " You ain't going without hearing me !
I mean business ! Say, don't chuck away good money like
that. I tell you, there 's dollars in it."
" In what ? " I asked, still moving on, but curious. On
the slope, if need were, I could easily distance him.
" Why, in this cycling of yours," he replied. " You 're
jest about the very woman I 'm looking for, miss. Lithe —
that 's what I call you. I kin put you in the way of making
your pile, I kin. This is a bona-Jide offer. No flies on my
business! You decline it? Prejudice! Injures you; in-
jures me ! Be reasonable anj'way ! "
I looked around and laughed. " Formulate yourself, " I
said, briefly.
He rose to it like a man. " Meet me at Fraunheim ; cor-
ner by the Post-office ; ten o'clock to-morrow morning," he
shouted, as I rode off, " and ef I don't convince you there 's
money in this job, my name 's not Cyrus W. Hitchcock."
Something about his keen, unlovely face impressed me
with a .sense of his underlying honesty. " Very well," I
answered, " I '11 come, if you follow me no farther." I re-
flected that PVaunheim was a populous village, and that only
beyond it did the mountain road over the Taunus begin to
The Inquisitive American ']\
grow lonely. If he wished to cut my throat, I was well
within reach of the resources of civilisation.
When I got home to the Abode of Blighted Fraus that
evening, I debated seriously with myself whether or not I
should accept Mr. Cyrus \V. Hitchcock's mysterious invita-
tion. Prudence said 110 ; curiosity saidj^.?/ I put the ques-
tion to a meeting of one ; and, since I am a daughter of Kve,
curiosity had it. Carried unanimously. I think I might
have hesitated, indeed, had it not been for the Blighted
Fraus. Their talk was of dinner and of the digestive pro-
cess ; they were critics of digestion. They each of them sat
so complacently through the evening — solid and stolid,
stodgy and podgy, stuffed comatose images, knitting white
woollen shawls, to throw over their capacious shoulders at
tablc-d' hotc — and they purred in such content in their middle-
aged rotundity that I made up my mind I must take warn-
ing betimes, and avoid their temptations to adipose deposit.
I prefer to grow upwards ; the frau grows sideways. Better
get my throat cut by an American desperado, in my pursuit
of romance, than settle down on a rock like a placid fat
oyster. I am not by nature sessile.
Adventures are to the adventurous. They abound on
every side ; but only the chosen few have the courage to
embrace them. And they will not come to you : you nuist
go out to seek them. Then they meet you halfway, and
rush into your arms, for they know their true lovers. There
were eight Blighted Fraus at the Home for Lost Ideals, and
I could tell by simple inspection that they had not had an
average of half an adventure per lifetime between them.
They sat and knitted still, like Awful Examples.
If I had declined to meet Mr. Hitchcock at Fraunheim, I
\. -.
72 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
know not what changes it might have induced in my life.
I might now be knitting. But I went boldly forth, on a voy-
age of exploration, prepared to accept aught that fate held in
store for me.
As Mr. Hitchcock had assured me there was money in his
offer, I felt justified in speculating. I expended another
three marks on the hire of a bicycle, though I ran the risk
thereby of going, perhaps, without Monday's dinner. That
showed my vocation.. The Blighted Fraus, I felt sure, would
have clung to their dinner at all hazards.
When I arrived at Fraunheim, I found my alert American
punctually there before me. He raised his crushed hat with
awkward politeness. I could see he was little accustomed
to ladies' society. Then he pointed to a close cab in which
he had reached the village.
" I 've got it inside," he whispered, in a confidential tone.
" I could n't let 'em ketch sight of it. You see, there 's
dollars in it."
"What have you got inside?" I asked, suspiciously,
drawing back. I don't know why, but the word " it " some-
how siiggested a corpse ; I began to grow frightened.
" Why, the wheel, of course," he answered. " Ain't you
come here to ride it ? "
" Oh, the wheel ? " I echoed, vaguely, pretending to look
wise ; but unaware, as yet, that that word was the accepted
Americanism for a bicycle. " And I have come to ride
it?"
" Why, certainly," he replied, jerking his hand towards
the cab. " But we must n't start right here. This thing
has got to be kept dark, don't you see, till the last day."
Till the last day ! That was ominous. It sounded like
The Inquisitive American 72)
monomania. So ghostly and elusive ! I began to suspect
my American ally of being a dangerous madman.
" Jest you wheel away a bit up the hill," he went on, " out
o' sight of the folks, and I '11 fetch her along to you."
*' Her ? " I cried. " Who ? " for the man bewildered me.
" Why, the wheel, miss ! Vott understand ! This is busi-
ness, you bet ! And you 're jest the right woman ! "
He motioned me on. Urged by a sort of spell, I re-
mounted my machine and rode out of the village. He
followed, on the box-seat of his cab. Then, when we had
left the world well behind, and stood among the sun-smitten
boles of the pine-trees, he opened the door mysteriously, and
produced from the vehicle a very odd-looking bicycle.
It was clumsy to look at. It differed immensely, in many
particulars, from any machine I had yet seen or ridden. The
strenuous American fondled it for a moment with his hand,
as if it were a pet child. Then he mounted nimbly. Pride
shone in his eye. I saw in a second he was a fond inventor.
He rode a few yards on. Next he turned to me eagerly.
" This ma-chine," he said, in an impressive voice, " is pro-
pelled dy an eccentric." Like all his countrymen, he laid
most stress on unaccented syllables.
" Oh, I knew you were an eccentric," I said, *' the mo-
ment I set eyes upon you."
He surveyed me gravely. " You misunderstand me,
miss," he corrected. " IV/iai I say an eccentric, I mean a
crank."
" They are much the same thing," I answered, briskly.
" Though I confess I would hardly have applied so rude a
word as crank to you."
He looked me over suspiciously, as if I were trying to
74 Miss Cayley's Adventures
make game of him, but my face was sphinx-like. So he
brought the machine a yard or two nearer, and explained its
construction to me. He was quite right : it was driven by
a crank. It had no chain, but was moved by a pedal, work-
ing narrowly up and down, and attached to a rigid bar, which
impelled the wheels by means of an eccentric.
Besides this, it had a curious device for altering the gear-
ing automatically while one rode, so as to enable one to
adapt it to the varying slope in mounting hills. This part
of the mechanism he explained to me elaborately. There
was a gauge in front which allowed one to sight the steep-
ness of the slope by mere inspection ; and according as the
gauge marked one, two, three, or four, as its gradient on the
scale, the rider pressed a button on the handle-bar with his
left hand once, twice, thrice, or four times, so that the gear-
ing adapted itself without an effort to the rise in the surface.
Besides, there were devices for rigidity and compensation.
Altogether, it was a most apt and ingenious piece of mechan-
ism. I did not wonder he was proud of it.
" Get up and ride, miss," he said, in a persuasive voice.
I did as I was bid. To my immense surprise, I ran up the
steep hill as smoothly and easily as if it were a perfectly laid
level.
" Goes nicely, does n't she ? " Mr. Hitchcock murmured,
rubbing his hands.
"Beautifully," I answered. "One could ride such a
machine up Mont Blanc, I should fancy."
He stroked his chin with nervous fingers. " It ought to
knock 'em," he said, in an eager voice. " It 's geared to
run up most anything in creation."
" How steep?"
The Inquisitive American 75
" One foot in three."
"That 's good."
" Yes. It '11 climb Mount Washington."
" What do you call it ? " I asked.
He looked me over with close scrutiny.
"In Amurrica," he said, slowly, " we call it the Great
Manitou, because it kin do pretty well what it chooses ; but
in Europe, I am thinking of calling it the Martin Conway or
the Whymper, or something like that."
"Why so?"
" Well, because it 's a famous mountain climber."
" I see," I said. " With such a machine you '11 put a
notice on the Matterhorn, ' This hill is dangerous to
cyclists.' "
He laughed low to himself, and rubbed his hands again.
" You '11 do, miss," he said. " You 're the right sort, you
are. The moment I seen you, I thought we two could do a
trade together. Benefits me ; benefits you. A mutual ad-
vantage. Reciprocity is the soul of business. You hev some
go in you, you hev. There 's money in your feet. You '11
give these Meinherrs fits. You '11 take the clear starch out
of them."
" I fail to catch on," I answered, speaking his own dialect
to humour him.
" Oh, you '11 get there all the same," he replied, stroking
his machine meanwhile. " It was a squirrel, it was ! " (He
pronounced it squirl.) " It 'ud run up a tree ef it wanted,
would n't it ? " He was talking to it now as if it were a dog
or a baby. " There, there, it must n't kick ; it was a frisky
little thing ! Jest you step up on it, miss, and have a go at
that there mountain."
76 Miss Cayley's Adventures
I stepped up and had a " go." The machine bounded
forward like an agile greyhound. You had but to touch it,
and it ran of itself. Never had I ridden so vivacious, so ani-
mated a cycle. I returned to him, sailing, with the gradient
reversed. The Manitou glided smoothly, as on a gentle
slope, without the need for back-pedalling.
" It soars ! " he remarked, with enthusiasm.
** Balloons are at a discount beside it," I answered.
" Now you want to know about this business, I guess,"
he went on. " You want to know jest where the reciprocity
comes in, anyhow ? "
" I am ready to hear you expound," I admitted, smil-
ing.
** Oh, it ain't all on one side," he continued, eying his
machine at an angle with parental affection. " I 'm a-going
to make your fortune right here. You shall ride her for me
on the last day ; and ef you pull this thing off, don't you be
scared that I won't treat you handsome."
" If you were a little more succinct," I said, gravely,
" we should get forrader faster." ^
" Perhaps you wonder," he put in, " that with money on
it like this, I should intrust the job into the hands of a
female." I winced, but was silent. " Well, it 's like this,
don't you see ; ef a female wins, it makes success all the
more striking and con-spicuous. The world to-day is ruled
by adver/w^ment."
I could stand it no longer. " Mr. Hitchcock," I said,
with dignity, " I have n't the remotest idea what on earth
you are talking about."
He gazed at me with surprise. " What ? " he exclaimed,
at last. " And you kin cycle like that ! Not know what
The In([iiisitivc American ']^
all the cycling world is mad about ? Why, you don't mean
to tell me you 're not a professional ? "
I enlightened him at once as to my position in society,
which was respectable if not lucrative. His face fell some-
what. " High-toned, eh? Still, you 'd run all the same,
would n't you ? " he inquired.
"Run for what?" I asked, innocently. "Parliament?
The Presidency ? The Frankfort Town Council ? "
He had difficulty in fathoming the depths of my ignorance.
But by degrees I understood him. It seemed that the Ger-
man Imperial and Prussian Royal Governments had offered
a Kaiserly and Kingly prize for the best military bicycle ;
the course to be run over the Taunus, from Frankfort to
Limburg ; the winning machine to get the equivalent of a
thousand pounds ; each firm to supply its own make and
rider. The " last day " was Saturday next ; and the Great
Manitou was the dark horse of the contest.
Then all was clear as day to me. Mr. Cyrus W. Hitch-
cock was keeping his machine a profound secret ; he wanted
a woman to ride it, so that his triumph might be the more com-
plete ; and the moment he saw me pedal up the hill, in trying
to avoid him, he recognised at once that I was that woman.
I recognised it too. 'T was a pre-ordained harmony.
After two or three trials I felt that the Manitou was built
for me, and I was built for the Manitou. We ran together
like parts of one mechanism. I was always famed for my
circular ankle-action ; and in this new machine, ankle-action
was everything. Strength of limb counted for naught ; what
told was the power of "clawing up again" promptly. I
possess that power ; I have prehistoric feet ; my remote pro-
genitors must certainly have been tree-haunting monkeys.
78 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
We arranged terms then and there.
"You accept?"
" Implicitly."
If I " pulled off" the race, I was to have fifty pounds. If
I did n't, I was to have five. " It ain't only your skill, you
see," Mr. Hitchcock said, with frank commercialism. " It 's
your personal attractiveness as well that I go upon. That 's
an element to consider in business relations."
" My face is my fortune," I answered, gravely. He
nodded acquiescence.
Till Saturday, then, I was free. Meanwhile, I trained,
and practised quietly with the Manitou, in sequestered parts
of the hills. I also took spells, turn about, at the SiaJel
Institute. I like to intersperse culture and athletics. I
know something about athletics, and hope in time to acquire
a taste for culture. 'T is expected of a Girton girl, though
my own accomplishments run rather towards rowing, punt-
ing, and bicycling.
On Saturday, I confess, I rose with great misgivings. I
was not a professional ; and to find oneself practically backed
for a thousand pounds in a race against men is a trifle dis-
quieting. Still, having once put my hand to the plough, I
felt I was bound to pull it through somehow. I dressed my
hair neatly, in a very tight coil. I ate a light breakfast,
eschewing the fried sausages which the Blighted Fraus
pressed upon my notice, and satisfying myself with a gently
boiled egg and .some toast and coffee. I always found I
rowed best at Cambridge on the lightest diet ; in my opinion,
the raw-beef r6y;ime is a serious error in training.
At a minute or two before eleven I turned up at the
Schiller Platz in my short serge dress and cycling jacket.
The Inquisitive American 79
The great square was thronged with spectators to see the
start ; the police made a lane through their midst for the
riders. My backer had advised me to come to the post as
late as possible, " For I have entered your name," he said,
" simply as Lois Cayley. These Deutschers don't think but
what you 're a man and a brother. But I am apprehensive
of con-tingencies. When you put in a show they '11 try to
raise objections to you on account of your being a female.
There won't be much time, though, and I shall rush the ob-
jections. Once they let you run and win, it don't matter to
me whether I get the twenty thousand marks or not. It 's
the adver/wrment that tells. Jest you mark my words, miss,
and don't you make no mistake about it — the world is gov-
erned to-day by adver/Z^nnent. "
So I turned up at the last moment, and cast a timid glance
at my competitors. They were all men, of course, and two
of them were German officers in a sort of undress cycling
uniform. They eyed me superciliously. One of them went
up and spoke to the Herr Over-Superintendent who had
charge of the contest. I understood him to be lodging an
objection against a mere woman taking part in the race.
The Herr Over-Superintendent, a bulky official, came up be-
side me and perpended visibly. He bent his big brows to it.
'T was appalling to observe the measurable amount of Teu-
tonic cerebration going on under cover of his round, green
glasses. He was perpending for some minutes. Time was
almost up. Then he turned to Mr. Hitchcock, having
finally made up his colossal mind, and murmured rudely,
" The woman cannot compete."
" Why not?" I inquired, in my very sweetest German,
with an angelic smile, though my heart trembled.
8o Miss- Cayley's Adventures
" Warum iiiclit ? Because the word 'rider' in the
Kaiserly and Kingly for-this-contest-provided decree is dis-
tinctly in the masculine gender stated."
" Pardon me, Herr Over-Superintendent," I replied, pull-
ing out a copy of Law 97 on this subject, with which I had
duly provided myself, " if you will to Section 45 of the
Bicycles-Circulation-Regulation-Act your attention turn, you
will find it therein expressly enacted that unless any clause
be anywhere to the contrary inserted, the word ' rider,' in
the masculine gender put, shall here the word ' rideress ' In
the feminine to embrace be considered."
For, anticipating this objection, I had taken the precau-
tion to look the legal question up beforehand.
" That is true," the Herr Over-Superintendent observed,
in a musing voice, gazing down at me with relenting eyes.
" The masculine habitually embraces the feminine." And
he brought his massive intellect to bear upon the problem
once more with prodigious concentration.
I seized my opportunity. " Let me start, at least," I
urged, holding out the Act. " If I win, you can the matter
more fully with the Kaiserly and Kingly Governments here-
after argue out."
" I guess this will be an international affair, " Mr. Hitch-
cock remarked, well pleased. " It would be a first-rate
adver/Z^nuent for the Great Manitou ef England and Ger-
many were to make the question into a casus belli. The
United States could look on, and pocket the chestnuts."
" Two minutes to go! " the official starter with the watch
called out.
" Fall in, then, Fraulein Englanderin," the Herr Over-
Superintendent observed, without prejudice, waving me into
The Inquisitive American 8i
Hue, He pinned a badge with a large number, 7, on my
dress. " The Kaiserly and Kingly Governments shall on
the affair of the starting's legality hereafter on my report
more at leisure pass judgment."
The lieutenant in undress uniform drew back a little.
" Oh, if this is to be woman's play," he muttered, " then
can a Prussian officer himself by competing not into con-
tempt bring. "
I dropped a little curtsy. " If the Herr Lieutenant is
afraid even to enter against an Englishwoman " I said,
smiling.
He came up to the scratch sullenly. " One minute to
go ! " called out the starter.
We were all on the alert. There was a pause ; a deep
breath. I was horribly frightened, but I tried to look calm.
Then sharp and quick came the word, " Go ! " And like
arrows from a bow, off we all started.
I had ridden over the whole course the day but one be-
fore, on a mountain pony, with an observant eye and n\y
sedulous American — rising at five o'clock, so as not to excite
undue attention ; and I therefore knew beforehand the exact
route we were to follow ; but I confess when I saw the Prus-
sian lieutenant and one of my other competitors dash forward
at a pace that simply astonished me, that fifty pounds seemed
to melt away in the dim abyss of the Ewigkeit. I gave up
all for lost. I could never make the running against such
practised cyclists.
However, we all turned out into the open road which leads
across the plain and down the Main Valley, in the direction
of Mayence. For the first ten miles or so, it is a dusty level.
The surface is perfect ; but 't was a blinding white thread.
6
82
Miss Cayley's Adventures
As I toiled along it, that broiling June day, I could hear
the voice of my backer, who followed on horseback, exhorting
" DON T SCORCH, MISS; DON T SCOKCH.
me in loud tones, " Don't scorch, miss ; don't scorch ; never
mind ef you lose sight of 'em. Keep your wind ; that 's the
point. The wind, the wind 's everything. Let 'em beat
you on the level ; you '11 catch 'em up fast enough when
you get on the Taunus ! "
But in spite of his encouragement, I almost lost heart as I
saw one after another of my opponents' backs disappear in
the distance, till at last I was left toiling along the bare
white road alone, in a shower-bath of sunlight, with just a
The Inquisitive American ^3
dense cloud of dust rising grey far ahead of me. My head
swam. It repented me of my boldness.
Then the riders on horseback began to grumble ; for by
police regulation they were not allowed to pass the hindmost
of the cyclists ; and they were kept back by my presence
from following up their special champions. " Give it up!
Fraulein, give it up ! " they cried. " You 're beaten.
You 're beaten ! I,et us pass and get forward ! " But at the
self-same moment, I heard the shrill voice of my American
friend whooping aloud across the din : " Don't you do no-
thing of the sort, miss ! You stick to it, and keep your
wind ! It 's the wind that wins ! Them Germans won't be
worth a cent on the high slopes, anyway ! "
Encouraged by his voice, I worked steadily on, neither
scorching nor relaxing, but maintaining an even pace at my
natural pitch under the broiling sunshine. Heat rose in
waves on my face from the road below ; in the thin white
dust the accusing tracks of six wheels confronted me. Still
I kept on following them, till I reached the town of Hochst
— nine miles from Frankfort. Soldiers along the route were
timing us at intervals with chronometers, and noting our
numbers. As I rattled over the paved High Street, I called
aloud to one of them. " How far ahead the last man ? "
He shouted back, good-humouredly : " Four minutes,
Fraulein."
Again I lost heart. Then I mounted a slight slope, and
felt how easily the Manitou moved up the gradient. From
its summit I could note a long grey cloud of dust rolling
steadily onward down the hill towards Hattersheim.
I coasted down, with my feet up, and a slight breeze just
cooling me. Mr. Hitchcock, behind, called out, full-
84 Miss Cay ley's Adventures
throated, from his seat : " No hurry ! No flurry ! Take
your time ! Take — your — time, miss ! "
Over the bridge at Hattersheim you turn to the right
abruptly, and begin to mount by the side of a pretty little
stream, the Schwarzbach, which runs brawling over rocks
down the Taunus from Eppstein. By this time the excite-
ment had somewhat cooled down for the moment ; I was
getting reconciled to be beaten on the level, and began to
realise that my chances would be best as we approached the
steepest bits of the mountain road about Niederhausen. So
I positively plucked up heart to look about me and enjoy the
scenery. With hair flying behind — that coil had played me
false— I swept through Hofheim, a pleasant little village at
the mouth of a grassy valley inclosed by wooded slopes, the
Schwarzbach making cool music in the glen below as I
mounted beside it. Clambering larches, like huge cande-
labra, stood out on the ridge, silhouetted against the skyline.
" How far ahead the last man ? " I cried to the recording
soldier. He answered me back, " Two minutes, Fraulein."
I was gaining on them ; I was gaining ! I thundered
across the Schwarzbach, bj* half-a-dozen clamorous little iron
bridges, making easy time now, and with my feet working
as if they were themselves an integral part of the machinery.
Up, up, up ; it looked a vertical ascent ; the Manitou glided
well in its oil-batli at its half-way gearing, I rode for dear
life. At sixteen miles, Lorsbach ; at eighteen, Eppstein ;
the road still rising. "How far ahead the last man?"
" Just round the corner, Fraulein ! "
I put on a little steam. Sure enough, round the corner I
caught sight of his back. With a spurt, I passed him — a
dust-covered soul, very hot and uncomfortable. He had not
The Inquisitive American 85
kept his wind ; I flew past him like a whirlwind. But, oh,
how sultry hot in that sweltering, close valley ! A pretty
little town, Eppstein, with its mediaeval castle perched high
on a craggy rock. I owed it some gratitude, I felt, as I left
it behind, for 't was here that I came up with the tail-end of
my opponents.
That one victory cheered me. So far, our route had lain
along the well-made but dusty highroad in the steaming
valley; at Nieder-Josbach , two miles on, we quitted the road
abruptly, by the course marked out for us, and turned up a
mountain path, only wide enough for two cycles abreast — a
path that clambered towards the higher slopes of the Taunus.
That was arranged on purpose — for this was no fair-weather
show — but a practical trial for military bicycles, under the
conditions they might meet with in actual warfare. It was
rugged riding : black walls of pine rose steep on either hand ;
the ground was uncertain. Our path mounted sharply from
the first ; the steeper the better. By the time I had reached
Ober-Josbach, nestling high among larch-woods, I had dis-
tanced all but two of my opponents. It was cooler now too.
As I passed the hamlet my cry altered.
* ' How far ahead the first man ? "
" Two minutes, Fraulein."
"A civilian?"
" No, no ; a Prussian officer."
The Herr Lieutenant led, then. For Old England's sake,
I felt I must beat him.
The steepest slope of all lay in the next two miles. If I
were going to win I must pass these two there, for my ad-
vantage lay all in the climb ; if it came to coasting, the men's
mere weight scored a point in their favour. Bump, crash,
86
Miss Cayley's Adventures
jolt ! I pednlled away like a machine ; the Manitou sobbed ;
my ankles flew round so that I scarcely felt them. But the
road was rough and scarred with waterways — ruts turned by
rain to runnels. At half a mile, after a desperate struggle
among sand and pebbles, I pa.ssed the second man ; just
"HOW FAR AHKAD THE FIRST MAN?"
ahead, the Prussian officer looked round and saw me
"Thunder-weather! you there, Englanderin ? " he cried,
darting me a look of unchivalrous dislike, such as only your
sentimental German can cast at a woman.
" Yes, I am here, behind you, Herr Lieutenant," I an-
swered, putting on a spurt ; " and I hope next to be before
you."
He answered not a word, but worked his hardest. So did
The Inquisitive American
87
I. He bent forward ; I sat erect on my Manitou, pullinj;
hard at my handles. Now my front wheel was upon him.
It reached his pedal. We were abreast. He had a narrow
thread of solid path, and he forced me into a runnel. Still I
"1 AM HERH, BKHIND YOU, HERR LIEUTENANT."
gained. He swerved ; I think he tried to foul me. But the
slope was too steep ; his attempt recoiled on himself ; he ran
against the rock at the side and almost overbalanced. That
second lost him. I waved my h;Tnd as I sailed ahead.
"Good morning," I cried, gaily. "See you again at
Ivimburg ! *'
88 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
From the top of the slope 1 put my feet up and flew down
into Idstein. A thunder-shower burst ; I was glad of the
cool of it. It laid the dust. I regained the highroad.
From that moment, save for the risk of sideslips, 't was easy
running — just an undulating line with occasional ups and
downs ; but I saw no more of my pursuers till, twenty-two
kilomeLres farther on, I rattled on the cobble-paved cause-
way into lyimburg. I had covered the forty-six miles in
quick time for a mountain climb. As I crossed the bridge
over the Lahn, to my immense surprise, Mr. Hitchcock
waved his arms, all excitement, to greet me. He had taken
the train on from Eppstein, it seemed, and got there before
me. As I dismounted at the cathedral, which was our ap-
pointed end, and gave my badge to the soldier, he rushed
up and shook my hand. ' ' Fifty pounds ! " he cried. ' ' Fifty
pounds ! How 's that for the great Anglo-Saxon race ! And
hooray for the Manitou ! "
The second man, the civilian, rode in, wet and draggled,
forty seconds later. As for the Herr Lieutenant, a disap-
pointed man, he fell out by the way, alleging a puncture. I
believe he was ashamed to admit the fact that he had been
beaten in open fight by the objurgated Englanderin.
So the end of it was, I was now a woman of means, with
fifty pounds of my own to my credit.
I lunched with . my backer royally at the best inn in
Limburg.
CHAPTER IV
THK ADVENTURE OF THE AMATEUR COMMISSION AGENT
MY eccentric American had assured nie that if I won
the great race for him I need not be " scared " lest
he should fail to treat me well ; and, to do him
justice, I must admit that he kept his word magnanimously.
While we sat at lunch in the cosy hotel at Limburg he
counted out and paid me in hand the fifty good gold pieces
he had promised me. " Whether these Deutschers fork out
my twenty thousand marks or not," he said, in his brisk
way, " it don't much matter. I shall get the contract, and
I shall hev gotten the adver/Z^nnent ! "
" Why do you start your bicycles in Germany, though ? "
I asked, innocently. " I should have thought myself
there was a much better chance of selling them in Eng-
land."
He closed one eye, and looked abstractedly at the light
through his glass of pale yellow Brauneberger with the
other. " England ? Yes, England! Well, you see, miss, you
hev not been raised in business. Business is business. The
way to do it in Germany is — to manufacture for yourself —
and I 've got my works started right here in Frankfort.
89
90
Miss Caylcy's Adventures
The way to do it in Hiigland — where capital 's dirt-cheap —
is, to sell your patent for every cent it 's worth to an Kng-
lisli company, and let them boom or bust on it."
" I see," I said, catching at it. " The principle 's as clear
as mud, the moment you point
it out to one. An Ivnglisli com-
1
LET THEM HoOM OR BUST ON IT."
concession, and work for a smaller return on its investment
than you Americans are content to receive on your capital ! "
" That 's .so ! You hit it in one, miss ! Which will you
take, a cigar or a cocoa-nut ? "
I smiled. " And what do you think you will call the
machine in Europe ? "
The Amateur Commission Agent 91
He gazed hard at me, and stroked his straw-colonred
moustache. "Well, what do j'ou think of the /.cy/s Cay-
Icyf'
" For Heaven's sake, no ! " I cried, fervently. " Mr.
Hitchcock, I implore you ! "
He smiled pity for my weakness. " Ah, high-toned
again ? " he repeated, as if it were some natural malforma-
tion under which I laboured. *' Oh, ef you don't like it,
miss, we '11 say no more about it, I am a gentleman, I am.
What 's the matter with the Excelsior f
" Nothing, except that it 's very bad Latin," I objected.
" That may be so ; but it 's very good business."
He paused and mused, then he nuirnuired low to himself,
" ' When through an Alpine village passed.' Tljat 's where
the idea of the Excelsior Qoxwif?, in ; see ? ' It goes up Mont
Blanc,' you said yourself. ' Tiirough snow and ice, A cycle
with the .strange device. Excelsior ! ' "
" If I were you," I said, " I would stick to the name
Mauiloii. It 's original, and it 's distinctive."
" Think .so ? Then chalk it up ; the thing 's done. Vou
may not be aware of it, miss, but you are a lady for whose
opinion in such matters I hev a high regard. Aud you
understand luirope. I do not. I admit it. I'A'erything
seems to be verbotcu in Germany ; and everything else to be
had form in England."
We walked down the steps together. " What a pictur-
esque old town ! " I said, looking round me, well pleased.
Its beauty appealed to me, for I had fifty pounds in pocket,
and I h;id lunched sumptuously.
" Old town ? " he repeated, gazing with a blank .stare.
" You call this town old^ do you ? "
92 Miss Cayley's Adventures
" Why, of course ! Just look at the cathedral ! Eight
hundred years old, at least ! "
He ran his eye down the streets, dissatisfied.
" Well, ef this town is old," he said at last, with a snap
of his fingers, "it 's precious little for its age." And he
strode away towards the railway station.
" What about the bicycle ? " I asked ; for it lay, a silent
victor, against the railing of the steps, surrounded by a
crowd of enquiring Teutons.
He glanced at it carelessly. " Oh, the wheel ? " he said.
' ' You may keep it. ' '
He said it so exactly in the tone in which one tells a waiter
he may keep the change that I resented the impertinence.
" No, thank you," I answered. " I do not require it."
He gazed at me open-mouthed. " What? Put my foot
in it again?" he interposed. " Not high-toned enough,
eh ? Now, I do regret it. No ofience meant, miss, nor none
need be taken. What I meant to in-sinuate was this : you
liev won the big race for me. Folks will notice you and talk
about you at Frankfort. Ef you ride a Manitou, that '11
make 'em talk the more. A mutual advantage. Benefits
you ; benefits me. You get the wheel ; I get the adverf/se-
ment."
I saw that reciprocity was the loadstar of his life. " Very
well, Mr. Hitchcock," I said, pocketing my pride, " I '11
accept the machine, and I '11 ride it."
Then a light dawned upon me. I .saw eventualities.
" Look here," I went on, innocently — recollect, I was a girl
just fresh from Girton — " I am thinking of going on very
soon to Switzerland. Now, why should n't I do this — try
to sell your machines, or, rather, take orders for them, from
The Amateur Commission Agent 93
anybody that admires them ? A mutual advantage. Bene-
fits you ; benefits me. You sell your wheels ; I get "
He stared at me. " The commission ? "
" I don't know what commission means," I answered,
somewhat at sea as to the term ; " but I thought it might
be worth your while, till the Manitou becomes better known,
to pay me, say, ten per cent, on all orders I brought you."
His face was one broad smile. "I do admire you,
miss," he cried, standing still to inspect me. " You may
not know the meaning of the word connnission ; but durned
ef you have n't got a hang of the thing itself that would do
honour to a Wall Street operator, anyway."
" Then that 's business ? " I asked, eagerly ; for I beheld
vistas.
" Business ? " he repeated. " Yes, that 's jest about the
size of it — business. Adver//.S(fment, miss, may be the soul
of commerce, but commission 's its body. You go in and
win. Ten per cent, on every order you send me ! "
He insisted on taking my ticket back to Frankfort. " My
affair, miss ; my affair ! " There was no gainsaying him.
He was immensely elated. " The biggest thing in cycles
since Dunlop tires," he repeated. " And to-morrow,
they '11 give me adver/zVments ^^ratis in every newspaper! "
Next morning, he came round to call on me at the Abode
of Unclaimed Domestic Angels. He was explicit and
generous. " Look here, miss," he began ; " I did n't do
fair by you when you interviewed me about your agency
last evening. I took advantage, «/ the time, <?/" your youth
and inexperience. You suggested ten per cent, as the
amount of your comnn'ssion on sales you might effect ; and
I jumped at it. That was conduct unworthy ^a gentleman.
94 Miss Cayley's Adventures
Now, I will not deceive j'oii. The ordinary commission on
transactions in wheels is twentj'-five per cent. I am going
to sell the Manitou at twenty English pounds apiece. You
shall hev your twenty-five per cent, on all orders."
" Five pounds for every machine I sell ! " I exclaimed,
overjoyed.
He nodded. "That's so."
I was simply amazed at this magnificent prospect. " The
cycle trade must be hone3'combed with middlemen's profits! "
I cried ; for I had my misgivings.
"That 's so," he replied again. "Then jest you take
and be a middlewoman."
" But, as a consistent socialist "
" It's your duty to fleece the capitalist and the consumer,
A mutual benefit — triangular this time. I get the order, the
public gets the machine, and you get the commission. I am
richer, you are richer, and the public is mounted on much
the best wheel ever yet invented."
" That sounds plausible," I admitted. " I shall try it on in
Switzerland. I shall run up steep hills whenever I see any
likely customers looking on ; then I shall stop and ask them
the time, as if quite accidentally."
He rubbed his hands. " You take to business like a
young duck to the water," he exclaimed, admiringly.
" That 's the way to rake 'em in ! You go up and say to
them, ' Why not investigate ? We defy competition. Leave
the drudgery of walking up-hill beside your cycle ! Progress
is the order of the day. Use modern methods ! This is the
age of the telegraph, the telephone, ajid the typewriter.
You kin no longer afford to go on with an antiquated, ante-
diluvian, armour-plated wheel. Invest in a Hill-Climber,
The Amateur Commission Agent 95
the last and lightest product of evv'Oioolion. Is it common-
sense to buy an old-style, unautomatic, single-geared, incon-
vertible ten-ton machine, when for the same money or less
you can purchase the self-acting Manitou, a priceless gem,
as light as a feather, with all the most recent additions and
improvements ? Be reasonable ! Get the best ! ' That 's
the style to fetch 'em ! "
I laughed, in spite of myself " Oh, Mr. Hitchcock," I
burst out, " that 's not my style at all. I shall say simply,
' This is a lovely new bicycle. You can see for yourself how
it climbs hills. Try it, if you wish. It skims like a swal-
low. And I get what they call five pounds connnission on
every one I can sell of them ! * I think that way of dealing
is much more likely to bring you in orders."
His admiration was undisguised. " Well, I do call you a
woman of bu.siness, mi.ss," he cried. " You see it at a glance.
That 's so. That 's the right kind of thing to rope in the
Europeans. Some originality about you. You take 'em on
their own ground. You 've got the draw on them, you hev.
I like your system. You '11 jest haul in the dollars ! "
" I hope so," I said, fervently ; for I had evolved in my
own mind, oh, such a lovely scheme for Elsie Petheridge's
holidays !
He gazed at me once more. " Ef only I could get hold
of a woman of business like you to soar through life with
me," he murmured.
I grew interested in my shoes. His open admiration was
getting quite embarrassing.
He paused a minute. Then he went on : ** Well, what do
you say to it ? "
" To what ? " I asked, amazed.
96
Miss Cayley's Adventures
" To my proposition — my offer."
" I — I don't nnderstand," I stammered out bewildered.
" The twenty-five per cent., you mean ? "
• " No, the de-votion of a lifetime," he answered, looking
sideways at me. " Miss Cayley, when a business man ad-
vances a proposition, commercial or otherwise, he advances
HIS OI'KN ADMIRAIION WAS GKITINT. QUITE EMBARRASSI'^O.
it because he means it. He asks a prompt repl}'. Your
time is valuable. So is mine. Arc you prepared to consider
it?"
" Mr. Hitchcock," I said, drawing back, " I think you
misunderstand. I think you do not realise "
" All right, miss," he answered promptly, though with a
disappointed air. " Ef it kin not be managed, it kin not be
managed. I understand your European ex-clusiveness. I
The Amateur Commission Agent 97
know your prejudices. But this little episode need not
antagonise with the nonnal course of ordinary business, I
respect you, Miss Cay ley. You are a lady of intelligence,
of initiative, and of high-toned culture. I will wish you
good day for the present, without further words ; and I shall
be happy at any time to receive your orders on the usual
commission."
He backed out and was gone. He was so honestly blunt
that I really quite liked him.
Next day I bade a tearless farewell to the Blighted Fraus,
When I told those eight phlegmatic souls I was going, they
all said "So ! " much as they had said " So ! " to every pre-
vious remark I had been moved to make to them. " So " is
capital garnishing ; but viewed as a staple of conversation, I
find it a trifle vapid, not to say monotonous. I set out on
my wanderings, therefore, to go round the world on my own
account and my own Manitou, which last I grew to love in
time with a love passing the love of Mr. Cj'rus Hitchcock. I
carried the strictly necessary before me in a small waterproof
bicycling valise ; but I sent on the portmanteau containing
my whole estate, real and personal, to some point in advance
which I hoped to reach from time to time in a day or two.
My first day's journey was along a pleasant road from Frank-
fort to Heidelberg, some fifty-four miles in all, skirting the
mountains the greater part of the way; the Manitou took the
ups and downs so easily that I diverged at intervals, to choose
side-paths over the wooded hills. I arrived at Heidelberg as
fresh as a daisy, my mount not having turned a hair mean-
while— a favourite expression of cjxlists which carries all
the more conviction to an impartial mind because of the
machine being obviously hairless. Thence I journeyed on
7 _
9^ Miss Cayley's Adventures
by easy stages to Karlsruhe, Baden, Appenweier, and Offen-
burg, where I set my front wheel resolutely for the Black
Forest. It is the prettiest and most picturesque route to
Switzerland ; and, being also the hilliest, it would afford me,
I thought, the best opportunity for showing off the Manitou's
paces, and trying my prentice hand as an amateur cycle-
agent.
From the quaint little Black Eagle at Offenburg, however,
before I dashed into the Forest, I sent off a letter to Elsie
Petheridge, setting forth my lovely scheme for her sunnner
holidays. She was delicate, poor child, and the London
winters sorely tried her ; I was now a millionaire, with the
better part of fifty pounds in my pocket, so I felt I could
afford to be royal in my hospitality. As I was leaving
Frankfort, I had called at a tourist agency and bought a
second-class circular ticket from London to Lucerne and
back — I made it second-class because I am opposed on prin-
ciple to excessive luxury, and also because it was three
guineas cheaper. Even fifty pounds will not last forever,
though I could scarcely believe it. (You see, I am not
wholly free, after all, from the besetting British vice of
prudence.) It was a mighty joy to me to be able to send
this ticket to Elsie, at her lodgings in Bayswater, pointing
out to her that now the whole mischief was done, and that
if she would not come out as soon as her summer vacation
began — 't was a point of honour with Elsie to say vacation,
instead o{ holidays — to join me at Lucerne, and stop with me
as my guest at a mountain pension, the ticket would be
wasted. I love burning my boats ; 't is the only safe way
for securing prompt action.
Then I turned my flying wheels up into the Black Forest,
The Amateur Commission Agent 99
growing weary of my loneliness — for it is not all jam to ride
by oneself in Germany — and longing for Elsie to come out
and join me. I loved to think how her dear, pale cheeks
would gain colour and tone on the hills about the Briinig,
where, for1)usiness reasons (so I said to myself with the con-
scious pride of the commission agent), I proposed to pass the
greater part of the sunmier.
From Offenburg to Hornberg the road makes a good stiff
climb of twenty-seven miles, and some twelve hundred Eng-
lish feet in altitude, with a fair number of minor undulations
on the way to diversify it. I will not describe the route,
though it is one of the most beautiful I have ever travelled
— rocky hills, ruined castles, huge, straight-stemmed pines
that clamber up green slopes, or halt in sombre line against
steeps of broken crag — the reality surpasses my poor powers
of description. And the people I passed on the road were
almost as quaint and picturesque in their way as the hills
and the villages — the men in red-lined jackets ; the women
in black petticoats, short-waisted green bodices, and broad-
brinnned straw hats with black-and-crimson pompons. But
on the steepest gradient, just before reaching Hornberg, I got
my first nibble — strange to say, from two German students ;
they wore Heidelberg caps, and were toiling up the incline
with short, broken wind; I put on a spurt with the Manitou,
and passed them easily. I did it just at first in pure wanton-
ness of health and strength ; but the moment I was clear of
them, it occurred to the business half of me that here was a
good chance of taking an order. Filled with this bright idea,
I dismounted near the summit, and pretended to be engaged
in lubricating my bearings ; though as a matter of fact the
Manitou runs in a bath of oil, self- feeding, and needs no
loo Miss Caylcy's Adventures
looking after. Presently, my two Heidelbergers straggled
up — hot, dusty, panting. Woman-like, I pretended to take
no notice. One of them drew near and cast an eye on the
Manitou.
" That 's a new machine, Fraulein," he said, at last, with
more politeness than I expected.
" It is," I answered, casually; " the latest model. Climbs
hills like no other." And I feigned to mount and glide off
towards Hornberg.
" Stop a moment, pra}-, Fraulein," my prospective buyer
called out. " Here, Heinrich, I wish j-ou this new so ex-
cellent mountain-climbing machine, without chain propelled,
more fully to investigate."
" I am going on to Hornberg," I said, with mixed feminine
guile and commercial strategy ; " still, if your friend wishes
to look " .
They both jostled round it, with achs innumerable, and,
after minute inspection, pronounced its principle luundcr-
schon. " Might I essay it ? " Heinrich asked.
" Oh, by all means," I answered. He paced it down hill
a few yards ; then skimmed up again.
" It is a bird ! " he cried to his friend, with many guttural
interjections. " Like the eagle's flight, so soars it. Come,
try the thing, Ludwig ! "
" You permit, Fraulein ? "
I nodded. They both mounted it several times. It be-
haved like a beauty. Then one of them asked, " And where
can man of this new so remarkable machine nearest by pur-
chase himself make possessor ? "
" I am the Sole Agent," I burst out, with swelling dignity.
" If you will give me your orders, with cash in hand for the
o
o
u
A.
[/)
H
Z
♦ •
I02 Miss Cayley's Adventures
amount, I will send the C3'cle, carriage paid, to any address
you desire in Germany."
" You ! " they exclaimed, incredulously. " TheFraulein
is pleased to be humorous ! "
" Oh, very well," I answered, vaulting into the saddle ;
" if you choose to doubt my word " I waved one care-
less hand and coasted off. " Good-morning, meine Herren."
They lumbered after me on their ramshackle traction-
engines. " Pardon, Fraulein ! Do not thus go away !
Oblige us at least with the name and address of the maker."
I perpended — like the Herr Over-Superintendent at Frank-
fort. " Lookvhere," I said at last, telling the truth with
frankness, " I get twenty-five per cent, on all bicycles I sell.
I am, as I say, the maker's Sole Agent. If you order
through me, I touch my profit ; if otherwise, I do not. Still,
since you seem to be gentlemen " — they bowed and swelled
visibly, — " I will give you the address of the firm, trusting to
your honour to mention mj^ name " — I handed them a card —
' ' if you decide on ordering. The price of the palfrey is four
hundred marks. It is worth every pfennig of it." And, be-
fore they could say more, I had spurred my steed and swept
off at full speed round a curve of the highway.
I pencilled a note to my American that night from Horn-
berg, detailing the circumstance ; but I am sorry to say, for
the discredit of humanity, that when those two students
wrote the same evening from their inn in the village to" order
Manitous, they did not mention my name, doubtless under
the misconception that by suppressing it they would save
my commission. However, it gives me pleasure to vAAper
contra (as we say in business) that when I arrived at Lucerne
a week or so later I found a letter, poste rcstantc, from Mr.
The Amateur Commission A<a'nt 103
Cyrus Hitchcock, inclosing an Knglish ten-pound note. He
wrote that he had received two orders for M an i tons from
Hornberg ; and " feehng considerable confidence that these
must necessarily originate" from my German students, he
had the pleasure of forwarding me what
he hoped would be the first of many
similar conunissions.
1 FELT A PKRFKCT LITTLK HYPOCRITE.
I will not describe my further adventures on the still
steeper mountain road from Hornberg to Triberg and St.
Georgen— how I got bites on the way from an English curate,
an Austrian hussar, and two unprotected American ladies ;
nor how I angled for them all by riding my machine up im-
possible hills, and then reclining gracefully to eat my lunch
I04 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
(three times in one day) on mossy banks at the summit. I
felt a perfect little hypocrite. But Mr. Hitchcock had re-
marked that business is business ; and I will only add (in
confirmation of his view) that by the time I reached Lucerne
I had sown the good seed in fifteen separate human souls,
no less than four of which l)rought forth fruit in orders for
Manitous before the end of the season,
I had now .so little fear what the morrow might bring forth
that I settled down in a comfortable hotel at Lucerne till
I'^lsie's holidays began ; and amused my.self meanwhile by
picking out the liilliest roads I could find in the neighbour-
hood, in order to di.splay my steel steed's possibilities to the
best advantage.
By the end of July, little Klsie joined me. She was half-
angry at first that I vshould have forced the ticket and my
ho.spitality upon her. " Nonsense, dear," I said, .smoothing
her hair, for her pale face quite frightened me. " What is
^lie good of a friend if she will not allow you to do her little
favours ? ' '
" But, Brownie, you said you would n't .stop and be de-
pendent upon me one day longer than was neces.sary in
London."
" That was different," I cried. " That was Me ! This is
You ! I am a great, strong, healthy thing, fit to fight the
battle of life and take care of my.self ; you, Klsie, are one of
tho.se fragile little flowers which 't is everybody's duty to
protect and to care for."
She would have protested more ; but I stifled her mouth
with kisses. Indeed, for nothing did I rejoice in my pros-
perity .so much as for the ciiance it gave me -of helping poor
dear, overworked, overwrought Ulsie. •
The Amateur Commission Agent 105
We took up our quarters thenceforth at a high-perched
little guest-house near the top of the Briiiiig. It was bracing
for Klsie ; and it lay close to a tourist track where I could
spread my snares and exhibit the Manitou in its true colours
to many passing visitors. Klsie tried it, and found she
could ride on it with ease. She wished she had one of her
own. A bright idea struck me. In fear and trembling, I
wrote, suggesting to Mr. Hitchcock that I had a girl friend
from England .stopping with me in Switzerland, and thut two
Manitous would surely be better than one as an adver//.sr-
ment. I confess I .stood agha.st at my own clieek ; but my
hand, I fear, was rapidly growing " subdued to that it
worked in." Anyhow I .sent the letter off, and waited de-
velopments.
By return of post came an answer from my American:
•'Dkar Mi.ss— Tly rail herewith please receive one lady's No. 4
automatic quadruple-beared self-feeding Manitou, as per your esteemed
favour of July 27ih, for which I desire to thank you. The n:ore I .see
of your way of doing husiness, the more I do admire you. This i.s
an elegant poster ! Two high-toned English ladies, mounted on
Manitous, careering up the Alps, represent to both of us quite a mint
of money. The mutual benefit to me, to you, and to the other lady,
ought to be simply incalculable. I shall be pleased ut any time to
hear of any further »'evelopments of your very remarkable advertising
skill, and I am obliged to you for this brilliant suggestion you have
been good enough to make to me.
" Respectfully,
•' Cyrus W. Hitchcock."
" What? Am I to have it for nothing, Hrewnie ? " Elsie
exclaimed, bewildered, when I read the letter to her.
I assumed the airs of a woman of the world. " Why,
certainly, my dear," I answered, as if I always expected to
find bicycles showered upon me. "It 's a mutual arrange-
io6 Miss Cay ley's Adventures
ment. Benefits him ; benefits you. Reciprocity is the
groundwork of business. He gets the advertisement ; you
get the amusement. It 's a form of handbill. Like the
ladies who exhibit their back hair, don't you know, in that
window in Regent Street."
Thus inexpensively mounted, we scoured the country to-
gether, up the steepest hills between Stanzstadt and Mei-
ringen. We had lots of nibbles. One lady in particular
often stopped to look on and admire the Manitou. She was
a nice-looking widow of forty-five, very fresh and round-
faced ; a Mrs. Evelegh, we soon found out, who owned a
charming chdld on the hills above Lungern. She spoke to
us more than once : " What a perfect dear of a machine ! "
she cried. " I wonder if I dare try it ! "
** Can you cycle ? " I asked.
** I could once," she answered. '* I was awfully fond of
it. But Dr. Fortescue-Langley won't let me any longer."
** Try it ! " I said, dismounting. She got up and rode.
" Oh, is n't it just lovely ! " she cried ecstatically.
" Buy one ! " I put in. " They 're as smooth as silk ;
they cost only twenty pounds ; and, on every machine I sell,
I get five pounds commission."
" I should love to," she answered ; " but Dr. Fortescue-
lyangley "
"Who is he?" I asked. "I don't believe in drug-
drenchers."
She looked quite shocked. " Oh, he 's not that kind, you
know," she put in, breathlessly, " He 's the celebrated
esoteric faith-healer. He won't let me move far away from
Lungern, though I 'm longing to be off to England again
for the summer. My boy 's at Portsmouth."
The Amateur Commission Agent 107
" Then, why don't you disobey him ? "
Her face was a study. " I dare n't," she answered in an
awe-struck voice. " He comes here every summer ; and he
does me so much good, you know. He diagnoses my inner
self. He treats me psychically. When my inner self goes
wrong, my bangle turns dusky." She held up her right
hand with an Indian silver bangle on it ; and sure enough
it was tarnished with a very thin black deposit. " My soul
is ailing now," she said in a comically serious voice. " But
it is seldom so in Switzerland. The moment I land in Eng-
land the bangle turns black and remains black till I get back
to Lucerne again."
When she had gone, I said to Elsie : " That is odd about
the bangle. State of health might affect it, I suppose.
Though it looks to me like a surface deposit of sulphide."
I knew nothing of chemistry, I admit ; but I had sometimes
messed about in the laboratory at college with some of the
other girls ; and I remembered now that sulphide of silver
was a blackish-looking body, like the film on the bangle.
However, at the time I thought no more about it.
By dint of stopping and talking, we soon got quite inti-
mate with Mrs. Evelegh. As always happens, I found out
I had known some of her cousins in Edinburgh, where I
always spent my holidays while I was at Girton. She took
an interest in what she was kind enough to call my original-
ity ; and before a fortnight was out, our hotel being uncom-
fortably crowded, she had invited Elsie and myself to stop
with her at the c/iAlct. We went and found it a delightful
little home. Mrs. Evelegh was charming ; but we could see
at every turn that Dr. Fortescue-Langley had acquired a
firm hold over her. " He 's so clever, you know," she said;
io8
Miss Cayley's Adventures
" and ^^ spiritual ! He exercises such strong odylic foice.
He binds my being together. If he misses a visit, I feel my
inner self goes all to pieces."
" Does he come often ? " I asked, growing interested.
" Oh, dear, no," she answered. " I wish he did ; it would
be ever .so good for me. But he 's so much run after ; I am
SHE INVITED ELSIE AND MYSELF TO STOP WITH HER.
but one among many. He lives at Chateau-d'Oex, and
comes across to see patients in this district once a fortnight.
It is a privilege to be attended by an intuitive seer like Dr.
Fortescue-Langley. ' '
Mrs. Evelegh was rich — *' left comfortably," as the phrase
goes, but with a clause which prevented her marrying again
without losing her fortune ; and I could gather from various
The Amateur Commission Agent 109
hints that Dr. Fortescue-Langley, whoever he might be, was
bleeding her to some tune, using her soul and her inner self
as his financial lancet. I also noticed that what she said
about the bangle was strictly true ; generally bright as a new
pin, on certain mornings it was completely blackened. I had
been at the chdlet ten days, however, before I began to sus-
pect the real reason. Then it dawned upon me one morning
in a flash of inspiration. The evening before had been cold,
for at the height where we were perched, even in August,
we often found the temperature chilly in the night, and I
heard Mrs. Evelegh tell Cecile, her maid, to fill the hot-
water bottle. It was a small point, but it somehow went
home to me. Next day the bangle was black, and Mrs.
Evelegh lamented that her inner self must be suffering from
an attack of evil vapours.
I held my peace at the time, but I asked Cecile a little
later to bring me that hot-water bottle. As I more than
half suspected, it was made of india-rubber, wrapped care-
fully up in the usual red flannel bag. " Lend me your
brooch, Elsie," I said. ** I want to try a little experi-
ment."
" Won't a franc do as well ? " Elsie asked, tendering one.
"That 's equally silver."
" I think not," I answered. ** A franc is most likely too
hard ; it has base metal to alloy it. But I will vary the ex-
periment by trying both together. Your brooch is Indian,
and therefore soft silver. The native jewellers never use
alloy. Hand it over; it will clean with a little plate-powder,
if necessary. I 'm going to see what blackens Mrs. Evelegh's
bangle."
I laid the franc and the brooch on the bottle, filled with
I lo Miss Caylcy's Adventures
hot water, and placed them for warmth in the fold of a
blanket. After dSjc finer, we inspected them. As I antici-
pated, the brooch had grown black on the surface with a thin
iridescent layer of silver sulphide, while the franc had hardly
suffered at all from the exposure.
I called in Mrs. Evelegh, and explained what I had done.
She was astonished and half incredulous. " How could you
ever think of it ? " she cried, admiringly.
" Why, I was reading an article yesterday about india-
rubber in one of your magazines," I answered ; " and the
person who wrote it said the raw gum was hardened for
vulcanising by mixing it with sulphur. When I heard you
ask Cecile for the hot-water bottle, I thought at once : ' The
sulphur and the heat account for the tarnishing of Mrs.
Bvelegh's bangle.' "
" And the franc does n't tarnish ! Then that must be
why my other silver bracelet, which is English make, and
harder, never changes colour ! And Dr. Fortescue-Langley
assured me it was because the soft one was of Indian metal,
and had mystic symbols on it — symbols that answered to the
cardinal moods of my sub-conscious self, and that darkened
in sympathy."
I jumped at a clue. * ' He talked about your sub-conscious
self?" I broke in.
" Yes," she answered. '* He always does. It 's the key-
note of his system. He heals by that alone. But, my dear,
after this, how can I ever believe in him ? "
" Does he know about the hot- water bottle ? " I asked.
" Oh, yes ; he ordered me to use it on certain nights ; and
when I go to England he says I must never be without one.
I see now that was why my inner self invariably went wrong
The Amateur Commission Agent 1 1 1
in England. It was all just the sulphur blackening the
bangle."
I reflected. " A middle-aged man ? " I asked, *" Stout,
diplomatic-looking, with wrinkles round his eyes, and a dis-
tinguished grey moustache, twirled up oddly at the corners ? ' '
" That 's the man, my dear ! His very picture. Where
on earth have you seen him ? ' '
" And he talks of sub-conscious selves ? " I went on.
" He practises on that basis. He says it 's no use pre-
scribing for the outer man ; to do that is to treat mere symp-
toms ; the sub-conscious self is the inner seat of diseases."
" How long has he been in Switzerland ? "
" Oh, he comes here every year. He arrived this season
late in May, I fancy."
" When will he visit you again, Mrs. Kvelegh ? "
" To-morrow morning."
I made up my mind at once. " Then I must see him,
without being seen," I said. " I think I know him. He
is our Count, I believe." For I had told Mrs. Evelegh and
Elsie the queer story of my journey from London.
*' Impossible, my dear ! Im-possible ! I have implicit
faith in him ! "
" Wait and see, Mrs. Evelegh. You acknowledge that he
duped you over the aifair of the bangle."
There are two kinds of dupes ; one kind, the commonest,
goes on believing in its deceiver, no matter what happens ;
the other, far rarer, has the sense to know it has been de-
ceived if you make the deception as clear as day to it. Mrs.
Evelegh was, fortunatel}'-, of the rarer class. Next morn-
ing. Dr. Fortescue-Langley arrived, by appointment. As he
walked up the path, I glanced at him from my window. It
I 12
Miss Cayley's Adventures
was the Count, not a doubt of it. On his way to gull his
dupes in Switzerland, he had tried to throw in an incidental
trifle of a diamond robbery.
THE COUNT.
I telegraphed the facts at once to Lady Georgina, at
Schlangenbad. She answered : " I am coming. Ask the
man to meet his friend on Wednesday."
Mrs. Evelegh, now almost convinced, invited him. On
Wednesday morning, with a bounce, Lady Georgina burst
The Amateur Commission Agent 113
in upon us. " My dear, such a journey ! — alone, at my age
— bnt there, I have n't known a happy day since you left
me ! Oh, j'es, I got my Gretchen — unsophisticated ? — well
— h'm — that 's not the word for it : I declare to you, Lois,
there is n't a trick of the trade, in Paris or London — not a
jierquisite or a tip — that that girl is n' t up to. Comes straight
from the remotest recesses of the Black Forest, and had n't
been with me a week, I assure you, honour bright, before
she was bandolining her yellow hair, and rouging her cheeks,
and wearing my brooches, and wagering gloves with the
hotel waiters upon the Baden races. And her language :
and her manners ! Why were n't you born in that station
of life, I wonder, child, so that I might offer you five hundred
a year, and all found, to come and live with me for ever?
But this Gretchen — her fringe, her shoes, her ribbons — upon
my soul, my dear, I don't know what girls are coming to
nowadays."
" Ask Mrs. Lynn-Linton," I suggested, as she paused.
" She is a recognised authority on the subject."
The Cantankerous Old Lady stared at me. " And this
Count ? " she went on. " So you have really tracked him ?
You 're a wonderful girl, my dear. I wish j-ou were a lady's-
maid. You 'd be worth me any money."
I explained how I had come to hear of Dr. Fortescue-
Langley.
Lady Georgina waxed warm. " Dr. Fortescue-Langlej- ! "
she exclaimed. " The wicked wretch ! But he did n't get
my diamonds ! I ' ve carried them here in my hands, all the
way from Wiesbaden ; I was n't going to leave them for a
single day to the tender mercies of that unspeakable
Gretchen. The fool would lose them. Well, we '11 catch
8
114 Miss Cayley's Adventures
him this time, Lois ; and we '11 give him ten years for
it !"
" Ten years ! " Mrs. Evelegh cried, clasping her hands in
horror. " Oh, Lady Georgina ! "
We waited in Mrs. Kvelegh's dining-room, the old lady
and I, behind the folding-doors. At three precisely. Dr.
Fortescue-Langley walked in. I had difficnlty in restraining
Lady Georgina from falling upon him prematurely. He
talked a lot of high-flown nonsense to Mrs, Evelegh and
Elsie about the influences of the planets, and the seventy-
five emanations, and the eternal wisdom of the East, and the
medical efficacy of sub-conscious suggestion. Excellent pat-
ter, all of it — quite as good in its way as the diplomatic
patter he had poured forth in the train to Lady Georgina.
It was rich in spheres, in elements, in cosmic forces. At
last, as he was discussing the reciprocal action of the inner
self upon the exhalations of the lungs, we pushed back the
door and walked calmly in upon him.
His breath came and went. The exhalations of the lungs
showed visible perturbation. He rose and stared at us.
For a second he lost his composure. Then, as bold as brass,
he turned, with a cunning smile, to Mrs. Evelegh. " Where
on earth did you pick, up such acquaintances ? " he enquired,
in a well-simulated tone of surprise. " Yes, Lady Georgina,
I have met you before, I admit ; but — it can hardly be agree-
able to you to reflect under what circumstances."
Lady Georgina was beside herself. "You dare?" she
cried, confronting him. " You dare to brazen it out ? You
miserable sneak ! But you can't bluff me now. I have the
police outside." Which I regret to confess was a light-
hearted fiction.
The Amateur Commission A<'cnt us
" The police ? " he echoed, drawing- bnck. I could see he
was frightened.
I had an inspiration again. " Take off that moustache ! "
I said, calmly, in my most commanding voice.
1 THOUGHT IT KINDER TO HIM TO REMOVE IT ALT0«;E IHIiK.
He clapped his hand \o it in horror. In his agitation, he
managed to pull it a little bit awr^-. It looked so absurd,
hanging there, all crooked, that I thought it kinder to him
to remove it altogether. The thing peeled off with diffi-
1 1 6 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
culty ; for it was a work of art, very fimily and gracefully
fastened with sticking-plaster. But it peeled off at last —
and with it the whole of the Count's and Dr. Fortescue-
Langley's distinction. The man stood revealed, a very
palpable man-servant.
Lady Georgina stared hard at him. " Where have I
seen j'ou before?" she murmured slowly. "That face is
familiar to me. Why, yes ; you went once to Italy as Mr.
Marmaduke Ashurst's courier ! I know you now. Your
name is Higginson."
It was a come-down for the Comte de Laroche-sur-Loiret,
but he swallowed it like a man at a single gulp.
" Yes, my lady," he said, fingering his hat nervously,
now all was up. " You are quite right, my lady. But what
would you have me do ? Times are hard on us couriers.
Nobody wants us now. I must take to what I can." He
assumed once more the tone of the Vienna diplomat. " Que
voulcz-voiis, madame ? These are revolutionary days. A
man of intelligence must move with the Zeitgeist ! "
lyady Georgina burst into a loud laugh. ' ' And to think, ' '
she cried, " that I talked to this lackey from London to
Malines without ever suspecting him ! Higginson, you 're
a fraud — but you 're a precious clever one."
He bowed. " I am happy to have merited Lady Georgina
Fawley's commendation," he answered, with his palm on
his heart, in his grandiose manner.
" But I shall hand you over to the police, all the same !
You are a thief and a swindler ! "
He assumed a comic expression. " Unhappily, not a
thief," he objected. • " This young lady prevented me from
appropriating your diamonds. Convey, the wise call it. I
The Amateur Commission Agent 1 1 7
wanted to take your jewel-case — and she put me off with a
sandwich-tin. I wanted to make an honest penny out of
Mrs. Evelegh ; and — she confronts nie with your ladyship
and tears my moustache off. ' '
Lady Georgina regarded him with a hesitating expression.
" But I shall call the police," she said, wavering visibly.
" Dcgrdcc, my lady, dc gr&cc ! Is it worth while, pour si
pen de chose f Consider, I have really effected nothing.
Will you charge me with having taken — in error — a small
tin sandwich-case — value, elevenpence ? An affair of a
week's imprisonment. That is positively all you can bring
up against me. And," brightening up visibly, " I have the
case still ; I will return it to-morrow with pleasure to your
ladyship ! "
" But the india-rubber water-bottle ? " I put in. *' You
have been deceiving Mrs. Evelegh. It blackens silver.
And you told her lies in order to extort money under false
pretences. ' '
He shrugged his shoulders. " You are too clever for me,
young lady," he broke out. " I have nothing to say to you.
But Lady Georgina, Mrs. Evelegh — you are human — let me
go ! Reflect ; I have things I could tell that would make
both of you look ridiculous. That journey to Malines, Lady
Georgina ! Those Indian charms, Mrs. Evelegh ! Besides
you have spoiled my game. Let that suffice you ! I can
practise in Switzerland no longer. Allow me to go in peace,
and I will try once more to be indifferent honest ! "
He backed slowly towards the door, with his eyes fixed on
them. I stood by and waited. Inch by inch he retreated.
Lady Georgina looked down abstractedly at the carpet.
Mrs. Evelegh looked up abstractedly at the ceiling. Neither
s
g
a
u
S
><
m
a
u
ao
The Amateur Commission Agent 119
spoke another word. The ro<;iie backed out by degrees.
Then he sprang down-stairs, and before they could decide
was well out into the open.
Lady Georgina was the first to break the silence. " After
all, my dear," she murmured, turning to me, " there was a
deal of sound English common-sense about Dogberry ! "
I remembered then his charge to the watch to apprehend
a rogue. " How if 'a will not stand ? "
" Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go ; and
presently call the rest of the watch together, and thank God
you are rid of a knave." When I remembered how Lady
Georgina had hob-nobbed with the Count from Ostend to
Malines, I agreed to a great extent both with her and with
Dogberry.
CHAPTER V
THE ADVENTURE OF THE IMPROMPTU MOUNTAINEER
THE explosion and evaporation of Dr. Fortescue-Iyangley
(with whom were amalgamated the Comte de Laroche-
sur-Loiret, Mr. Higginson the courier, and whatever
else that versatile gentleman chose to call himself) entailed
many results of var3Mng magnitudes.
In the first place, Mrs. Evelegh ordered a Great Manitou.
That, however, mattered little to " the firm," as I loved to
call us (because it shocked dear Elsie so) ; for, of course, after
all her kiiidness we could n't accept our commission on her
purchase, so that she got her machine cheap for fifteen pounds
from the maker. But, in the second place — I declare I am
beginning to write like a woman of business — she decided to
run ov^r to England for the summer to see her boy at Ports-
mouth, being certain now that the discoloration of her bangle
depended more on the presence of sulphur in the india-rubber
bottle than on the passing state of her astral body. 'T is an
abrupt descent from the inner self to a hot-water bottle, I
admit ; but Mrs, Evelegh took the plunge with grace, like a
sensible woman. Dr. Fortescue-Langley had been annihi-
lated for her at one blow: she returned forthwith to common-
sense and England.
The Impromptu Mountaineer 121
" What will you do with the chalet while j'ou 're away ? "
Lady Georgiiia asked, when she announced her intention.
" You can't shut it up to take care of itself. Every blessed
thing in the place will go to rack and ruin. Shutting up a
house means spoiling it for ever. Why, I 've got a cottage
of my own in the best part of Surrey that I let for the
summer — a pretty little place, now vacant, for which, by the <
way, I want a tenant, if you happen to know of one — and
when it 's left empty for a month or two "
" Perhaps it would do for me? " Mrs. Evelegh suggested,
jumping at it. "I 'm looking out for a furnished house for
the summer, within easy reach of Portsmouth and London^
for myself and Oliver."
Lady Georgina seized her arm, with a face of blank horror.
" My dear I " she cried. " For you ! I would n't dream
of letting it to you. A nasty, damp, cold, unwholesome
house, on stiff clay soil, with detestable drains, in the dead-
liest part of the Weald of Surrey, — why, you and your boy
would catch your deaths of rheumatism."
"Is it the one I saw advertised in the Times this morn-
ing, I wonder? " Mrs. Evelegh enquired in a placid voice.
" ' Charmingly furnished house on Holmesdale Common ;
six bedrooms, four reception-rooms ; splendid views ; pure
air; picturesque surroundings; exceptionally situated.' I
thought of writing about it."
" That 's it ! " Lady Georgina exclaimed, with a demon-
strative wave of her hand. " I drew up the advertisement
myself. Exceptionally situated ! I should just think it
was ! Why, my dear, I would n't let you rent the place for
worlds ; a horrid, poky little hole, stuck down in the bottom
of a boggy hollow, as damp as Devonshire, with the paper
122 Miss Cayley's Adventures
peeling off the walls, so that I had to take my choice between
giving it up myself ten years ago or removing to the ceme-
tery; and I 've let it ever since to City men with large fami-
lies. Nothing would induce me to allow you and your boy
to expose yourself to such risks." For Lady Georgina had
taken quite a fancy to Mrs. Evelegh. " But what I was
just going to say was this : you can't shut your house up ;
it '11 all go mould3\ Houses always go mouldy, shut up in
summer. And you can't leave it to your servants ; / know
the baggages ; no conscience — no conscience ; they '11 ask
their entire families to come up and stop with them en bloc,
and turn your place into a perfect piggery. Why, when I
went away from my house in town one autumn, did n't I
leave a policeman and his wife in charge — a most respectable
man — only he happened to be an Irishman ? And what was
the consc-j^uence ? My dear, I assure you, I came back un-
expectedly from poor dear Kynaston's one day — at a mo-
ment's notice — having quarrelled with him over Home Rule
or Education or something — poor dear Kynaston 's what
they call a Liberal, I believe — got at by that man Rosebery —
and there did n't I find all the O' Flanagans, and O' Flaherty's,
and O'Flynns in the neighbourhood camping out in my draw-
ing-room ; with a strong detachment of O'Donohues, and
O'Doherty's, and O'Driscolls lying around loose in possession
of the library ? Never leave a house to the servants, my dear !
It 's positively suicidal. Put in a responsible caretaker of
whom j'ou know something — like Lois here, for instance."
" Lois ! " Mrs. Evelegh echoed. " Dear me, that 's just
the very thing. What a capital idea ! I never thought of
Lois ! She and Elsie might stop on here, with Ursula and
the gardener."
The Impromptu Mountaineer
123
I protested that if we did it was our clear duty to pay a
small rent; but Mrs. Evelegli brushed that aside. " You 've
robbed yourselves about the bicycle," she insisted, " and
I 'm delighted to let you have it. It 's I who ought to pay,
for you '11 keep the house dry for me."
I remembered Mr. Hitchcock — " Mutual advantage :
" NKVKR LEAVE A HOUSE TO THE SERVANTS, MY DEAR!"
benefits you, benefits me" — and made no bones about it.
So in the end Mrs. Evelegh set off for England with Cecile,
leaving Elsie and me in charge of Ursula, the gardener, and
the chdlct.
As for Lady Georgina, having by this time completed her
" cure " at Schlangenbad (complexion as usual ; no guinea
yellower), she telegraphed for Gretchen — " I can't do with-
out the idiot " — and hung round Lucerne, apparently for no
124 Miss Cayley's Adventures
other purpose but to send people up the Briinig on the hunt
for our wonderful new machines, and so put money in our
pockets. She was much amused when I told her that Aunt
Susan (who lived, you will remember, in respectable in-
digence at Blackheath) had written to expostulate with me
on my " unladylike" conduct in becoming a bicycle com-
mission agent. ' ' Unladylike ! ' ' the Cantankerous Old Lady
exclaimed, with warmth. " What does the woman mean ?
Has she got no gumption ? It 's ' ladylike,' I suppose, to
be a companion, or a governess, or a music-teacher, or some-
thing else in the black-thread-glove way, in London ; but not
to sell bicycles for a good round commission. M3' dear, be-
tween you and me, I don't see it. If you had a brother,
now, he might sell bicycles, or corner wheat, or rig the share
market, or do anything else he pleased, in these days, and
nobody 'd think the worse of him — as long as he made
money; and it 's my opinion that what is sauce for the goose
can't be far out for the gander — and vice versa. Besides
which, what 's the use of trying to be ladylike ? You are a
lady, child, and you could n't help being one ; why trouble
to be like what nature made you ? Tell Aunt Susan from
me to put that in her pipe and smoke it ! "
,1 did tell Aunt Susan by letter, giving Lady Georgina as
authority for the statement ; and I really believe it had a
consoling effect upon her ; for Aunt Susan is one of those
innocent-minded people who cherish a profound respect for
the opinions and ideas of a Lady of Title. Especially where
questions of delicacy are concerned. It calmed her to think
that though I, an officer's daughter, had declined upon
trade, I was mixing at least with the Best People !
We had a lovely time at the chdlet — two girls alone, mess-
The Impromptu Mountaineer 125
ing just as we pleased in the kitchen, and learning from
Ursula how to concoct pot-au-feic in the most approved Swiss
fashion. We pottered, as we women love to potter, half the
day long ; the other half we spent in riding our cycles about
the eternal hills, and ensnaring the flies whom Lady
Georgina dutifully sent up to us. She was our decoy duck ;
and, in virtue of her handle, she decoyed to a marvel. In-
deed, I sold so many Manitous that I began to entertain a
deep respect for my own commercial faculties. As for Mr.
Cyrus W. Hitchcock, he wrote to me from Frankfort : " The
world continues to revolve on its axis, the Manitou, and the
machine is booming. Orders romp in daily. When you
ventilated the suggestion of an agency at Limburg, I con-
cluded at a glance you had the material of a first-class busi-
ness woman about you ; but I reckon I did not know what a
traveller meant till you started on the road. I am now en-
larging and altering this factory, to meet increased demands.
Branch offices at Berlin, Hamburg, Crefeld, and Diisseldorf.
Inspect our stock before dealing elsewhere. A liberal dis-
count allowed to the trade. Two hundred agents wanted in
all towns of Germany. If they were every one of them like
yoic, miss, — well, I guess I would hire the town of Frankfort
for my business premises."
One morning, after we had spent about a week at the chdld
by ourselves, I was surprised to see a young man with a
knapsack on his back walking up the garden path towards
our cottage. " Quick, quick, Elsie ! " I cried, being in a
mischievous mood. " Come here with the opera-glass !
There 's a Man in the offing ! "
"A what?'' Elsie exclaimed, shocked as usual at my
levity.
126 Miss Cayley's Adventures
" A Man," I answered, squeezing her arm. " A Man !
A real live Man ! A specimen of the masculine gender in
the human being ! Man, ahoy ! He has come at last — the
loadstar of our existence ! "
Next minute, I was sorry I spoke ; for as the man drew
nearer, I perceived that he was endowed with very long legs
and a languidly poetical bearing. That supercilious smile —
that enticing moustache ! Could it be ? — yes, it was — not a
doubt of it— Harold Tillington !
I grew grave at once ; Harold Tillington and the situation
were serious. "What can he want here?" I exclaimed,
drawing back.
" Who is it ? " Elsie asked ; for, being a woman, she read
at once in my altered demeanour the fact that the Man was
not unknown to me.
" Lady Georgina's nephew," I answered, with a telltale
cheek, I fear. " You remember I mentioned to you that I
had met him at Schlangenbad. But this is really too bad
of that wicked old Lady Georgina. She has told him where
we lived and sent him up to see us."
" Perhaps," Elsie put in, " he wants to charter a bicycle."
I glanced at Elsie sideways. I had an uncomfortable sus-
picion that she said it slyly, like one who knew he wanted
nothing of the sort. But at any rate, I brushed the sugges-
tion aside frankly. " Nonsense," I answered. " He wants
me, not a bicycle."
He came up to us, waiting his hat. He did look hand-
some ! " Well, Miss Cayley," he cried from afar, " I have
tracked you to your lair ! I have found out where you
abide ! What a beautiful spot ! And how well you 're
looking ! "
The Impromptu Mountaineer 127
" This is an unexpected — " I paused. He thought I
was going to say, " pleasure," but I finished it, " intrusion."
His face fell. " How did you know we were at Lungern,
Mr. Tillington?"
*' My respected relative," he answered, laughing. " She
mentioned — casually — " his eyes met mine — " that you were
stopping in a ch&let. And, as I was on my way back to the
diplomatic mill, I thought I might just as well walk over
the Grimsel and the Furca, and then on to the Gothard.
The Court is at Monza. So it occurred to me . . . that
in passing ... I might venture to drop in and say how-
do-you-do to you."
" Thank you," I answered, severely — but my heart spoke
otherwise — " I do very well. And you, Mr. Tillington ? "
" Badly," he echoed. ** Badly, since _y^?< went away from
Schlangenbad."
I gazed at his dusty feet. " You are tramping," I said,
cruelly. " I suppose you will get forward for lunch to
Meiringen ? "
" I — I did not contemplate it."
"Indeed?"
He grew bolder. " No ; to say the truth, I half hoped I
might stop and spend the day here with you."
" Elsie," I remarked firmly, " if Mr. Tillington persists in
planting himself upon us like this, one of us must go and in-
vestigate the kitchen department."
Elsie rose like a lamb. I have an impression that she
gathered we wanted to be left alone.
He turned to me imploringly. " Lois," he cried, stretch-
ing out his arms, with an appealing air, " I may stay,
may n't I ? "
128
Miss Cayley's Adventures
I tried to be stern ; but I fear 't was a feeble pretence.
** We are two girls, alone in a house," I answered. " Lady
Georgina, as a matron of experience, ought to have pro-
tected us. Merely to give you lunch is almost irregular."
"I MAY STAY, MAY N'T I?"
(Good diplomatic word, irregular.) " Still, in these days, I
suppose you may stay, if you leave early in the afternoon.
That 's the utmost I can do for you."
" You are not gracious," he cried, gazing at me with a
wistful look.
The Impromptu Mountaineer 129
I did not dare to be gracious. " Uninvited guests must
not quarrel with their welcome," I answered severely.
Then the woman in me broke forth. " But, indeed, Mr.
Tillington, I am glad to see j'ou."
He leaned forward eagerly. " So you are not angry with
me, lyois ? I may call you Lois f "
I trembled and hesitated. " I am not angry with you.
I — I like you too much ever to be angry with you. And I
am glad you came — just this once — to see me. . . . Yes
— when we are alone — you may call me Lois."
He tried to seize my hand. I withdrew it. " Then I
may perhaps hope," he began, " that some day "
I shook my head. " No, no," I said regretfully. " You
misunderstand me. I like you very much ; and I like to
see you. But as long as you are rich and have prospects
like yours, I could never marry you. My pride would n't
let me. Take that as final."
I looked away. He bent forward again. " But if I were
poor ? " he put in eagerly.
I hesitated. Then my heart rose, and I gave way. " If
ever you are poor," I faltered, — " penniless, hunted, friend-
less— come to me, Harold, and I will help and comfort you.
But not till then. Not till then, I implore you."
He leaned back and clasped his hands. " You have given
me something to live for, dear Lois," he murmured. " I
will try to be poor — penniless, hunted, friendless. To win
you I will try. And when that day arrives, I shall come to
claim you."
W^ sat for an hour and had a delicious talk — about
nothing. But we understood each other. Only that arti-
ficial barrier divided us. At the end of the hour, I heard
130 Miss Cayley's Adventures
Elsie coming back by judiciously slow stages from the kitchen
to the living-room, through six feet of passage, discoursing
audibly to Ursula all the way, with a tardiness that did
honour to her heart and her understanding. Dear, kind
little Elsie ! I believe she had never a tiny romance of her
own ; yet her sympathy for others was sweet to look upon.
We lunched at a small deal table on the veranda. Around
us rose the pinnacles. The scent of pines and moist moss
was in the air. Elsie had arranged the flowers, and got
ready the omelette, and cooked the cutlets, and prepared
the junket. " I never thought I could do it alone with-
out you. Brownie ; but I tried, and it all came right by
magic, somehow." We laughed and talked incessantly.
Harold was in excellent cue ; and Elsie took to him. A
livelier or merrier table there was n't in the twenty-two
Cantons that day than ours, under the sapphire sky, looking
out on the sun-smitten snows of the Jungfrau.
After lunch, Harold begged hard to be allowed to stop for
tea. I had misgivings, but I gave way — he was such good
company. One may as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb,
says the wisdom of our ancestors; and, after all, Mrs. Grundy
was only represented here by Elsie, the gentlest and least
censorious of her daughters. So he stopped and chatted
till four ; when I made tea and insisted on dismissing him.
He meant to take the rough mountain path over the screes
from I/Ungern to Meiringen, which ran right behind the
chdlet. I feared lest he might be belated, and urged him to
hurry.
" Thanks, I 'm happier here," he answered.
I was sternness itself. " Yo\x promised me ! " I said, in a
reproachful voice.
The Impromptu Mountaineer 131
He rose instantly, and bowed. " Your will is law — even
when it pronounces sentence of exile."
Would we walk a little way with him ? No, I faltered ;
we would not. We would follow him with the opera-glasses
and wave him farewell when he reached the Kulm. He
shook our hands unwillingly, and turned up the little path,
looking handsomer than ever. It led ascending through a
fir- wood to the rock-strewn hillside.
Once, a quarter of an hour later, we caught a glimpse of
him near a sharp turn in the road ; after that we waited in
vain, with our eyes fixed on the Kulm ; not a sign could we
discern of him. At last I grew anxious. " He ought to be
there," I cried, fuming.
" He ought," Elsie answered.
I swept the slopes with the opera-glasses. Anxiety and
interest in him quickened my senses, I suppose. " Look
here, Elsie," I burst out at last. " Just take this glass and
have a glance at those birds, down the crag below the
Kulm. Don't they seem to be circling and behaving most
oddly?"
Elsie gazed where I bid her. " They 're wheeling round
and round," she answered, after a minute ; " and they cer-
tainly do look as if they were screaming."
" They seem to be frightened," I suggested.
** It looks like it. Brownie,"
" Then he 's fallen over a precipice ! " I cried, rising up ;
" and he 's lying there on a ledge by their nest. Elsie, we
must go to him ! ' '
She clasped her hands and looked terrified. * ' Oh, Brownie,
how dreadful ! ' ' she exclaimed. Her face was deadly white.
Mine burned like fire.
132 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
" Not a moment to lose ! " I said, holding my breath.
" Get out the rope and let us run to him ! "
" Don't you think," Elsie suggested, " we had better
hurry down on our cycles to Lungern and call some men
from the village to help us ? We are two girls, and alone.
What can we do to aid him ? "
" No," I answered, promptly, " that won't do. It would
only lose time — and time may be precious. You and I must
go ; I '11 send Ursula off to bring up guides from the
village."
Fortunately we had a good long coil of new rope in the
house, which Mrs. Evelegh had provided in case of accident.
I slipped it on my arm, and set out on foot ; for the path was
by far too rough for cycles. I was sorry afterwards that I
had not taken Ursula, and sent Elsie to Lungern to rouse
the men ; for she found the climbing hard, and I had ditii-
culty at times in dragging her up the steep and stony path-
way, almost a watercourse. However, we persisted in the
direction of the Kulm, tracking Harold by his footprints ;
for he wore mountain boots with sharp-headed nails, which
made dints in the moist soil, and scratched the smooth sur-
face of the rock where he trod on it. We followed him thus
for a mile or two, along the regular path ; then of a sudden,
in an open part, the trail failed us. I turned back a few
yards and looked close, with my eyes fixed on the spongy
soil, as keen as a hound that sniffs his way after his quarry.
" He went off here, Elsie ! " I said at last, pulling up .short
by a spindle bush on the hillside.
" How do you know, Brownie ? "
" Why, see, there are the marks of his stick ; he had a
thick one, you remember, with a square iron spike. These
The Impromptu Mountaineer 133
are its dints ; I have been watching them all the way along
from the chdlct:'
* ' But there are so many such marks ! ' '
" Yes, I know ; I can tell his from the older ones made by
the spikes of alpenstocks because Harold's are fresher and
sharper on the edge. They look so much newer. See, here,
he slipped on the rock ; you can know that scratch is recent
by the clean way it 's traced, and the little glistening crys-
tals still left behind in it. Those other marks have been
wind-swept and washed by the rain. There are no broken
particles."
" How on earth did you find that out, Brownie ? "
How on earth did I find it out ! I wondered myself. But
the emergency seemed somehow to teach me something of
the instinctive lore of hunters and savages. I did not
trouble to answer her. " At this bush, the tracks fail," I
went on ; " and, look, he must have clutched at that branch
and crushed the broken leaves as the twigs slipped through
his fingers. He left the path here, then, and struck off on
a short cut of his own along the hillside, lower down. Elsie,
we must follow him."
She shrank from it ; but I held her hand. It was a more
difficult task to track him now ; for we had no longer the
path to guide us. However, I explored the ground on my
hands and knees, and soon found marks of footsteps on the
boggy patches, with scratches on the rock where he had leaped
from point to point, or planted his stick to steady himself.
I tried to help Elsie along among the littered boulders and
the dwarf growth of wind-swept daphne ; but, poor child, it
was too much for her; she sat down after a few minutes upon
the flat juniper scrub and began to cry. What was I to do ?
134 Miss Cayley's Adventures
My anxiety was breathless. I could n't leave her there
alone, and I could n't forsake Harold. Yet I felt every
minute might now be critical. We were making among wet
whortleberry thicket and torn rock towards the spot where
I had seen the birds wheel and circle, screaming. The only
way left was to encourage Elsie and make her feel the neces-
sity for instant action. " He is alive still," I exclaimed,
looking up ; " the birds are crying ! If he were dead, they
would return to their nest — Elsie, we must get to him ! "
She rose, bewildered, and followed me. I held her hand
tight, and coaxed her to scramble over the rocks where the
scratches showed the way, or to clamber at times over fallen
trunks of huge fir-trees. Yet it was hard work climbing ;
even Harold's sure feet had slipped often On the wet and
slimy boulders, though, like most of Queen Margherita's set,
he was an expert mountaineer. Then, at times, I lost the
faint track, so that I had to diverge and look close to find it.
These delays fretted me. ' * See, a stone loosed from its bed
— he must have passed by here. . . . That twig is newly
snapped ; no doubt he caught at it. . . . Ha, the moss
there has been crushed ; a foot has gone by. And the ants
on that ant-hill, with their eggs in their mouths — a man's
tread has frightened them." So, by some instinctive sense,
as if the spirit of my savage ancestors reviv^ed within me, I
managed to recover the spoor again and again by a miracle,
till at last, round a corner by a defiant cliff — with a terrible
foreboding, my heart stood still within me.
We had come to an end. A great projecting buttress of
crag rose sheer in front. Above lay loose boulders. Below
was a shrub-hung precipice. The birds we had seen from
home were still circling and screaming.
The Impromptu Mountaineer 135
They were a pair of peregrine hawks. Their iiest seemed
to lie far below the broken
scar, some sixty or seventy feet
beneath us.
" He is not ) ,
dead ! " I cried J ( f/
once more, with ( ,'
my heart in my
mouth. " If he
were, they would have
returned. He has fallen,
and is lying, alive, below
there!"
Elsie shrank back against
the wall of rock. I advanced
on my hands and knees to
the edge of the precipice. It
was not quite sheer, but it
dropped like a sea-cliff, with broken ledges.
I ADVANCED ON MY HANDS AND KNEES
TO THE EDGE OF THE TRECU'ICE.
13^ Miss Cayley's Adventures
I could see where Harold had slipped. He had tried to
climb round the crag that blocked the road, and the ground
at the edge of the precipice had given way with him ; it
showed a recent founder of a few inches. Then he clutched
at a branch of broom as he fell ; but it slipped through his
fingers, cutting them ; for there was blood on the \vir3' stem.
I knelt by the side of the cliff and craned my head over. I
scarcely dared to look. In spite of the birds, my heart mis-
gave me.
There, on a ledge deep below, he lay in a mass, half raised
on one arm. But not dead, I believed. " Harold ! " I cried.
"Harold!"
He turned his face up and saw me ; his eyes lighted with
joy. He shouted back something, but I could not hear it.
I turned to Elsie. " I must go down to him ! "
Her tears rose again. " Oh, Brownie ! "
I unwound the coil of rope. The first thing was to fasten
it. I could not trust Elsie to hold it ; she was too weak and
too frightened to bear my weight ; even if I wound it round
her body, I feared my mere mass might drag her over. I
peered about at the surroundings. No tree grew near ; no
rock had a pinnacle sufiiciently safe to depend upon. But I
found a plan soon. In the crag behind me was a cleft,
narrowing wedge-shape as it descended. I tied the end of
the rope round a stone, a good big water-w^orn stone, rudely
girdled with a groove near the middle, which prevented it
from slipping ; then I dropped it down the fissure till it
jannned ; after which, I tried it to see if it would bear. It
was firm as the rock itself. I let the rope down by it, and
waited a moment to discover whether Harold could climb.
He shook his head, and took a note-book with evident pain
The Impromptu Mountaineer i37
from his pocket. Then he scribbled a few words, and pinned
them to the rope. I hauled it up. " Can't move. Either
severely bruised and sprained, or else legs broken."
There was no help for it, then. I must go to him.
My first idea was merely to glide down the rope with my
gloved hands, for I chanced to have my dog-skin bicycling
gloves in my pocket. Fortunately, however, I did not carry
out this crude idea too hastily ; for next instant it occurred
to me that I could not swarm up again. I have had no
practice in rope-climbing. Here was a problem. But the
moment suggested its own solution. I began making knots,
or rather nooses or loops, in the rope, at intervals of about
eighteen inches. " What are they for ? " Elsie asked, look-
ing on in wonder.
' ' Footholds, to climb up by. ' '
*' But the ones above will pull out with your weight."
" I don't think so. Still, to make sure, I shall tie them
with this string, I fnusf get down to him."
I threaded a sufficient number of loops, trying the length
over the ledge. Then I said to Elsie, who sat cowering,
propped against the crag, ' ' You must come and look over,
and do as I wave to you. Mind, dear, you must! Two
lives depend upon it."
•'Brownie, I dare n't! I shall turn giddy and fall
over ! ' '
I smoothed her golden hair. " Elsie, dear," I said gently,
gazing into her blue eyes, " j'ou are a woman. A woman
can always be brave, where those she loves are concerned ;
and I believe you love me." I led her, coaxingly, to the
edge. " Sit there," I said, in my quietest voice, so as not
to alarm her. " You can lie at full length, if you like, and
138
Miss Cayley's Adventures
I GRIPPED THE ROPE AND LET MYSELF DOWN.
only just peep over.
But when I wave my
hand, remember, you
must pull the rope
up."
She obeyed me like
a child. I knew she
loved me.
I gripped the rope
and let myself down.
y'^ not using the loops to
'^ descend, but just slid-
ing with hands and
knees, and allowing
the knots to slacken
my pace. Half-way
down^ I will confess,
the eerie feeling of
physical suspense was
horrible. One hung
so in mid-air ! The
hawks flapped their
wings. But Harold
was below ; and a
woman can always be
brave where those she
loves — well, just that
moment, catching my
breath, I knew I loved
Harold.
I glided swiftly
■J /
The Impromptu Mountaineer 139
down. The air whizzed. At last, on a narrow shelf of
rock, I leaned over him. He seized my hand. ' ' I knew you
would come ! " he cried. " I felt sure j'ou would find out.
Though hoiv you found out, Heaven only knows, you clever,
brave little woman ! "
" Are you terribly hurt ? " I asked, bending close. His
clothes were torn.
" I hardly know. I can't move. It may only be bruises."
" Can you climb by the.se nooses with my help ? "
He shook his head. " Oh, no. I could n't climb at all.
I must be lifted, somehow. You had better go back to
Lungern and bring men to help you."
" And leave you here alone ! Never, Harold ; never ! "
" Then what can we do ? "
I reflected a moment. "Lend me your pencil," I said.
He pulled it out — his arms were almost unhurt, fortun-
ately. I scribbled a line to Elsie. " Tie my plaid to the
rope and let it down." Then I waved to her to pull up
again.
I was half surprised to find she obeyed the signal, for she
crouched there, white-faced and open-mouthed, watching ;
but I have often observed that women are almost always
brave in great emergencies. She pinned on the plaid and
let it down with commendable quickness. I doubled it,
and tied firm knots in the four corners, so as to make it into
a sort of basket ; then I fastened it at each corner with a
piece of the rope, crossed in the middle, till it looked like
one of the cages they use in mills for letting down sacks
with. As soon as it was finished, I said, " Now, just try to
crawl into it."
He raised himself on his arms and crawled in with diffi-
HO ^ Miss Cayley's Adventures
culty. His legs dragged after him. I could see he was in
great pain. But still, he managed it.
I planted my foot in the first noose. " You must sit still,"
I said, breathless. " I am going back to haul you up."
" Are you strong enough, Lois ? "
" With Elsie to help me, yes. I often stroked a four at
Girton."
" I can trust you," he answered. It thrilled me that he
said so.
I began my hazardous journey ; I mounted the rope by
the nooses — one, two, three, four, counting them as I
mounted. I did not dare to look up or down as I did so,
lest I should grow giddy and fall, but kept my eyes fixed
firmly always on the one noose in front of me. My brain
swam ; the rope swayed and creaked. Twenty, thirty,
forty ! Foot after foot, I slipped them in mechanically,
taking up with me the longer coil whose ends were attached
to the cage and Harold. My hands trembled ; it was
ghastly, swinging there between earth and heav^en. Forty-
five, forty-six, forty-seven — I knew there were forty-eight
of them. At las' •'ter some weeks, as it seemed, I reached
the summit. Treniiuous and half dead, I prised myself over
the edge with my hands, and knelt once more on the hill be-
side Elsie.
She was white, but attentive. " What next, Brownie ? "
Her voice quivered.
I looked about me. I was too faint and shaky after my
perilous ascent to be fit for work, but there was no help for
it. What could I use as a pulley ? Not a tree grew near ;
but the stone jammed in the fissure might once more serve
my purpose. I tried it again. It had borne my weight ;
The Impromptu Mountaineer 141
was it strong enough to bear the precious weight of Harold ?
I tugged at it, and thought so. I passed the rope round it
like a pulley, and then tied it about my own waist. I had
a happy thought : I could use myself as a windlass. I turned
on my feet for a pivot. Elsie helped me to pull. " Up you
go ! " I cried, cheerily. We wound slowly, for fear of shak-
ing him. Bit by bit, I could feel the cage rise gradually
from the ground ; its weight, taken so, with living capstan
and stone axle, was less than I should have expected. But
the pulley helped us, and Elsie, spurred by need, put forth
more reserve of nervous strength than I could easily have
believed lay in that tiny body. I twisted myself round and
round, close to the edge, so as to look over from time to
time, but not at all quickly, for fear of dizziness. The rope
strained and gave. It was a deadly ten minutes of suspense
and anxiety. Twice or thrice as I looked down I saw a
spasm of pain break over Harold's face ; but when I paused
and glanced enquiringly, he motioned me to go on with my
venturesome task. There was no turning back now. We
had almost got him up when the rope at the edge began
to creak ominously.
It was straining at the point where it grated against the
brink of the precipice. My heart gave a leap. If the rope
broke, all was over.
With a sudden dart forward, I seized it with my hands,
below the part that gave ; then — one fierce little run back —
and I brought him level with the edge. He clutched at
Elsie's hand. I turned thrice round, to wind the slack about
my body. The taut rope cut deep into my flesh ; but no-
thing mattered now, except to save him. " Catch the cloak,
Elsie ! " I cried ; " catch it : pull him gently in ! " Elsie
142
Miss Caylcy's Adventures
caught it and pulled him in, with wonderful pluck and calm-
ness. We hauled
him over the edge.
He lay safe on the
bank. Then we
all three broke
down and cried like
children together.
I took his hand in
mine and held it
in silence.
When we found
words again I drew
a deep breath, and
said, simply, "How
did you manage to
doit?"
" I tried to clam-
ber past the wall
that barred the way
there by sheer force
of s t r i d e — y o u
know, my legs are
long — and I some-
how overbalanced
myself. But I did
n't exactly fall — if
I had fallen I must
have been killed ;
I rolled and slid
down, clutching at the weeds in the crannies as I slipped,
I ROLLED AND SLID DOWN.
The Impromptu Mountaineer 143
and stumbling over the projections, without quite losing my
foothold on the ledges, till I found myself brought up short
with a bump at the end of it."
" And you think no bones are broken ? "
" I can't feel sure. It hurts me horribly to move. I
fancy just at first I must have fainted. But I 'm inclined to
guess I 'm only sprained and bruised and sore all over.
Why, you 're as bad as I, I believe. See, your dear hands
are all torn and bleeding ! "
" How are we ever to get him back again, Brownie? "
Elsie put in. She was paler than ever now, and prostrate
with the after-effects of her unwonted effort.
** You are a practical woman, Elsie," I answered. " Stop
with him here a minute or two. I '11 climb up the hillside
and halloo for Ursula and the men from Lungern."
I climbed and hallooed. In a few minutes, worn out as I
was, I had reached the path above and attracted their atten-
tion. They hurried down to where Harold lay, and, using
my cage for a litter, slung on a young fir-trunk, carried him
back between them across their shoulders to the village.
He pleaded hard to be allowed to remain at the chdld, and
Elsie joined her prayers to his ; but there I was adamant.
It was not so much what people might say that I minded,
but a deeper difficulty. For if once I nursed him through
his trouble, how could I or any woman in my place any
longer refuse him ? So I passed him ruthlessly on to Lungern
(though my heart ached for it), and telegraphed at once to
his nearest relative, I^ady Georgina, to come up and take
care of him.
He recovered rapidly. Though sore and shaken, his
worst hurts, it turned out, were sprains ; and in three or
144 Miss Cayley's Adventures
four clays he was ready to go on again. I called to see him
before he left. I dreaded the interview ; for one's own heart
is a hard enemy to fight so long ; but how could I let him
go without one word of farewell to him ?
" After this, Lois," he said, taking my hand in his — and
I was weak enough, for a moment, to let it lie there — *' yon
cannot say No to me ! "
Oh, how I longed to fling myself upon him and cry out,
" No, Harold, I cannot ! I love you too dearly ! " But his
future and Marmaduke Ashurst's half-million restrained me ;
for his sake and for my own I held myself in courageously ;
though, indeed, it needed some courage and self-control. I
withdrew my hand slowly. " Do you remember," I said,
** you asked me that first day at Schlangenbad " — it was an
epoch to me, now, that first day — " whether I was mediaeval
or modern ? And I answered, ' Modern, I hope.' And ,you
said, ' That 's well ! ' — You see, I don't forget the least
things you say to me. Well, because I am modern " — my
lips trembled and belied me — " I can answer you No. I can
even now refuse you. The old-fashioned girl, the mediaeval
girl, would have held that because she saved your life (if I
did save your life, which is a matter of opinion) she was
bound to marry you. But / am modern, and I see things
differently. If there were reasons at Schlangenbad which
made it impracticable for me to accept you — though my
heart pleaded hard — I do not deny it — those reasons can-
not have disappeared merely because you have chosen to fall
over a precipice, and I have pulled you up again. My de-
cision was founded, you see, not on passing accidents of
situation, but on permanent considerations. Nothing has
happened in the last three days to aifect those considerations.
The Impromptu Mountaineer 145
We are still ourselves ; you rich, I a penniless adventuress.
I could not accept jou when you asked me at Schlangenbad.
On just the same grounds, I cannot accept you now. I do
not see how the unes.sential fact that I made myself into a
winch to pull you up the cliff, and that I am .still smarting
for it "
He looked me all over comically. ' ' How severe we are ! ' '
he cried, in a bantering tone. " And how extremely Gir-
tony ! A System of Logic, Ratiocinative and Inductive, by
lyois Cayley ! What a pity we did n't take a professor's
chair. My child, that is n't you ! It 's not yourself at all !
It 's an attempt to be unnaturally and unfemininely reason-
able."
Logic fled. I broke down utterly. " Harold," I cried,
rising, " I love you ! I admit I love you ! But I will never
marry you — while you have those thousands."
" I have n't got them yet ! "
" Or the chance of inheriting them."
He smothered my hand with kisses — for I withdrew my
face. ' ' If you admit you love me, ' ' he cried, quite joyously,
" then all is well. When once a woman admits that, the
rest is but a matter of time— and, Lois, I can wait a thou-
sand years for you."
" Not in my case," I answered through my tears. " Not
in my case, Harold ! I am a modern womaij, and what I
say I mean. I will renew my promise. If ever you are
poor and friendless, come to me ; I am yours. Till then,
don't harrow me by asking me the impossible ! "
I tore myself away. At the hall door, Lady Georgina in-
tercepted me. She glanced at my red eyes. "Then you
have taken him ? " she cried, seizing my hand.
10
146
Miss Cayley's Adventures
I shook my head firmly. I could hardly speak. " No,
Lady Georgina," I answered, in a choking voice. " I have
refused him again. I will not stand in his way. I will not
ruin his prospects."
She drew back and let her chin drop. " Well, of all the
hard-hearted, cruel, obdurate young women I ever saw in
my born days, if you 're not the very hardest "
I Fl.r.NG MYSKLF WILDLY ON MY HE!).
I half ran from the house. I hurried home to the chdhi.
There, I dashed into my own room, locked the door behind
me, flung myself wildly on my bed, and, burying my face in
my hands, had a good, long, hard-hearted, cruel, obdurate
cry — exactly like any mediaeval woman. It 's all very
well being modern ; but my experience is that, when it conies
to a man one loves — well, the Middle Ages are still horribly
strong within us.
CHAPTER VI.
THK ADVENTURE OF THE URBANE OLD GENTLEMAN
WHEN Elsie's holidays — I beg pardon, vacation —
came to an end, she proposed to return to her
High School in London. Zeal for the higher
mathematics devoured her. But she still looked so frail,
and coughed so often — a perfect Campo Santo of a cough —
in spite of her summer of open-air exercise, that I positively-
worried her into consulting a doctor — not one of the
Fortescue-Langley order. The report he gave was mildly
unfavourable. He spoke disrespectfully of the apex of her
right lung. It was not exactly tubercular, he remarked, but
he "feared tuberculosis" — excuse the long words; the
phrase was his, not mine ; I repeat verbatim. He vetoed
her exposing herself to a winter in London in her present
unstable condition. Davos ? Well, no. Not Davos ; with
deliberative thumb and finger on close-shaven chin. He
judged her too delicate for such drastic remedies. Those
high mountain stations suited best the robust invalid, who
had dropped by accident into casual phthisis. For Miss
Petheridge's case — looking wise — he would not reconnnend
the Riviera, either ; too stimulating, too exciting. What
this young lady needed most was rest ; rest in some agree-
147
14^ Miss Cayley's Adventures
able southern town, some city of the soul — say Rome or
Florence— where she might find much to interest her, and
might forget the apex of her right lung in the new world of
art that opened around her.
" Very well," I said promptly ; " that 's settled, Elsie.
The apex and you shall winter in Florence."
" But, Brownie, can we afford it ? "
" Afford it ? " I echoed. " Goodness gracious, my dear
child, what a bourgeois sentiment ! Your medical attendant
says to you, ' Go to Florence ' ; and to Florence you must
go ; there 's no getting out of it. Wh}', even the swallows
fly south when their medical attendant tells them England
is turning a trifle too cold for them."
" But what will Miss Eatimer say ? She depends upon
me to come back at the beginning of term. She must have
somebody to undertake the higher mathematics."
" And she will get somebody, dear," I answered, calmly.
" Don't trouble your sweet little head about that. An emi-
nent statistician has calculated that five hundred and thirty
duly qualified young women are now standing four-square
in a solid phalanx in the streets of London, all agog to teach
the higher mathematics to anyone who wants them at a mo-
ment's notice. Let Miss Latimer take her pick of the five
hundred and thirty. I '11 wire to her at once : * Elsie
Petheridge unable through ill health to resume her duties.
Ordered to Florence. Resigns post. Engage substitute.'
That ' s the way to do it."
Elsie clasped her small white hands in the despair of the
woman who considers herself indispensable — as if we were
any of us indispensable ! ' ' But, dearest, the girls ! They ' 11
be so disappointed ! "
The Urbane Old Gentleman 149
" They '11 get over it," I answered, grimly. " There are
worse disappointments in store for them in life — which is a
fine old crusted platitude worthy of Aunt Susan. Anyhow,
I 've decided. Look here, Elsie : I stand to you in loco
parentis. '" I have already remarked, I think, that she was
three years my senior ; but I was so pleased with this phrase
that I repeated it lovingly. " I stand to you, dear, in loco
parentis. Now, I can't let you endanger your precious
health by returning to town and Miss Latimer this winter.
Let us be categorical. I go to Florence ; you go with me."
" What shall we live upon ? " Elsie suggested, piteously.
" Our fellow-creatures, as usual," I answered, with prompt
callousness. " I object to these base utilitarian considera-
tions being imported into the discussion of a serious ques-
tion. Florence is the city of art ; as a woman of culture, it
behoves you to revel in it. Your medical attendant sends
you there ; as a patient and an invalid, you can revel with a
clear conscience. Money ? Well, money is a secondary
matter. All philosophies and all religions agree that money
is mere dross, filthy lucre. Rise superior to it. We have a
fair sum in hand to the credit of the firm ; we can pick up
some more, I suppose, in Florence."
'• How?"
I reflected, " Elsie," I said, " you are deficient in faith
— which is one of the leading Christian graces. My mission
in life is to correct that want in your spiritual nature. Now,
observe how beautifully all these events work in together !
The winter comes, when no man can bicycle, especially in
Switzerland. Therefore, what is the use of my stopping on
here after October? Again, in pursuance of my general
plan of going round the world, I nuist get forward to Italy.
i=;o
Miss Cayley's Adventures.
Your medical attendant considerately orders j'ou at the same
lime to Florence. In Florence we shall still have chances
of selling Manitous, though possibly, I admit, in diminished
numbers. I confess at once that people come to Switzerland
to tour, and are therefore liable to need our machines ; while
they go to Florence to look at pictures, and a bicj'cle would
doubtless prove • inconvenient in the Uffizi or the Pitti.
Still, we may sell a few. But I descry another opening.
You write shorthand, don't you ? "
" A little, dear ; only ninety words a minute."
" That 's not business. Advertise yourself, a la Cyrus
Hitchcock ! Say boldly, ' I write shorthand.' Leave the
world to ask, * How fast ? ' It will ask it quick enough
without your suggesting it. Well, my idea is this. Florence
is a town teeming with English tourists of the cultivated
classes — men of letters, painters, antiquaries, art-critics. I
suppose even art-critics may be classed as cultivated. Such
people are sure to need literary aid. We exist to supply it.
We will set up the Florentine School of Stenography and
Typewriting. We '11 buy a couple of typewriters."
" How can we pay for them, Brownie ? "
I gazed at her in despair. " Elsie," I cried, clapping my
hand to my head, " you are not practical. Did I ever sug-
gest we should pay for them ? I said merely, buy them.
' Base is the slave that pays.' That 's Shakespeare. And we
all know Shakespeare is the mirror of nature. Argal, it
would be unnatural to pay for a typewriter. We will hire a
room in Florence (on tick, of course), and begin operations.
Clients will flock in ; and we tide over the winter. There ' s
enterprise for you ! " And I struck an attitude.
Elsie's face looked her doubts. I walked across to Mrs.
The Urbane Old Gentleman
151
Evelegh's desk, and began writing a letter. It occurred to
me that Mr. Hitchcock, who was a man of business, might
be able to help a woman of business in this delicate matter.
I put the point to him fairly and squarely, without circum-
locution ; we were going to start an English typewrititig
office in Florence ; what was the ordinary way for people to
become possessed of a typewriting machine, without the
odious and mercenary preliminary of paying for it ?
"there's enterprise for you !"
The answer came back with commendable promptitude:
" Dear Miss, — Your spirit of enterprise is really remarkable ! I
have forwarded your letter to my friends of the Spread Eagle Type-
writing and Phonograph Company, Limited, of New York City, in-
forming them of your desire to open an agency for the sale of their
machines in Florence, Italy, and giving them my estimate of your
business capacities. I have advised their London bouse to present
152 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
you with two complinientary machines for your own use and your
partner's, and also to supply a number of others for disposal in the
city of Florence. If you would further like to undertake an agency
for the development of the trade in salt codfish (large quantities of
which are, of course, consumed in Catholic Europe), I could put you
into communication with my respected friends, Messrs. Abel Wood-
ward & Co., exporters of preserved provisions, St. John's, New-
foundland. But, perhaps, iu this suggestion I am not suflSciently
high-toned.
" Respectfully,
"Cyrus W. Hitchcock."
The moment had arrived for Elsie to be firm. " I have
no prejudice against trade, Brownie," she observed emphati-
cally, " but I do draw the line at salt fish."
" So do I, dear," I answered.
She sighed her relief. I really believ^e she half expected
to find me trotting about Florence with miscellaneous sam-
ples of Messrs. Abel Woodward's esteemed productions pro-
truding from my pocket.
So to Florence we went. My first idea was to travel by
the Brenner route through the Tyrol ; but a queer little
episode which met us at the outset on the Austrian frontier
put a check to this plan. We cycled to the border, sending
our trunks by rail. When we went to claim them at the
Austrian Custom-house, we were told that they were de-
tained " for political reasons."
" Political reasons? " I exclaimed, nonplussed.
" Even so, Fraulein. Your boxes contain revolutionary
literature."
" Some mistake ! " [ cried, warmly. I am but a drawing-
room Socialist.
" Not at all ; look here." And he drew a .small book out
of Elsie's portmanteau.
The Urbane Old Gentleman 153
What ? Elsie a conspirator ? Elsie in league with Nihi-
lists ? So mild and so meek ! I could never have believed
it. I took the book in my hands and read the title, ' ' Revo-
lution of the Heavenly Bodies."
*' But this is astronomy," I burst out. " Don't you see ?
Sun-and-star circling. The revolution of the planets."
" It matters not, Fraulein. Our instructions are strict.
We have orders to intercept «// revolutionary literature with-
out distinction."
" Come, Elsie," I said, firmly, " this is too ridiculous.
Let us give them a clear berth, the.se Kaiserly- Kingly block-
heads ! " So we registered our luggage right back to Lu-
cerne, and cycled over the Gothard.
When at last, by leisurely stages, we arrived at Florence,
I felt there was no use in doing things bj' halves. If you
are going to start the Florentine School of Stenography and
Typewriting, you may as well start it on a proper basis. So
I took sunny rooms at a nice hotel for myself and Elsie, and
hired a ground floor in a convenient house, close under the
shadow of the great marble Campanile. (Con.siderations of
space compel me to curtail the usual gush about Arnolfo and
Giotto.) This was our office. When I had got a Tuscan
painter to plant our flag in the shape of a sign-board, I sallied
forth into the street and inspected it from outside with a
swelling heart. It is true, the Tuscan painter's unaccount-
able predilection for the rare spellings " Scool " without an
/^, and " Stenografy " with ari /", somewhat dampened my
exuberant pride for the moment ; but I made him take the
board back and correct his Italianate English. As .soon as
all was fitted up with desk and tables we reposed upon our
laurels, and waited only for customers in shoals to pour in
154
Miss Caylcy's Adventures
upon us, /called them "customers" ; Elsie maintained
that we ought rather to say " clients." Being by tempera-
ment averse to sectarianism, I did not dispute the point with
her.
PAINTING THE SIGN-BOARD.
We reposed on our laurels — in vain. Neither cnstomers
nor clients seemed in any particular hurry to disturb our
leisure.
I confess I took this ill. It was a rude awakening. I had
begun to regard myself as the special favourite of a fairy
godmother ; it surprised me to find that any undertaking
of mine did not succeed immediately. However, reflecting
that my fairy godmother's name was really Enterprise, I re-
called Mr. Cyrus W. Hitchcock's advice, and advertised.
The Urbane Old Gentleman 155
" There 's one j^ood thing about Florence, Elsie," I said,
just to keep up her courage. ' ' When the customers do come,
they '11 be interesting people, and it will be interesting work.
Artistic work, don't you know — Fra Angelico, and Delia
Robbia, and all that sort of thing ; or else fresh light on
Dante and Petrarch ! "
" When they do come, no doubt," Elsie answered, du-
biously. " But do you know, Brownie, it strikes me there
is n't quite that literary stir and ferment one might expect in
Florence. Dante and Petrarch appear to be dead. The dis-
tinguished authors fail to stream in upon us as one imagined
with manuscripts to copy."
I affected an air of confidence — for I had sunk capital in
the concern (that 's business-like — sunk capital !). " Oh,
we 're a new firm," I assented, carelessly. " Our enterprise
is yet young. When cultivated Florence learns we 're here,
cultivated Florence will invade us by thousands."
But we sat in our office and bit our thumbs all day ; the
thousands stopped at home. We had ample opportunities
for making studies of fehe decorative detail on the Campanile,
till we knew every square inch of it better than Mr. Ruskin.
Elsie's note-book contains, I believe, eleven hundred separate
sketches of the Campanile, from the right end, the left end,
and the middle of our window, with eight hundred and five
distinct distortions of the individual statues that adorn its
niches on the side turned towards us.
At last, after we had sat, and bitten our thumbs, and
sketched the Four Greater Prophets for a fortnight on end,
an innnense excitement occurred. An old gentleman was
distinctly seen to approach and to look up at the sign-board
which decorated our office. I instantly slipped in a sheet of
156
Miss Cayley's Adventures
foolscap, and began to typewrite with alarming speed — click,
click, click ; while Elsie, rising to the occasion, set to work
to transcribe, imaginarj' shorthand as if her life depended
upon it.
The old gentleman, after a moment's hesitation, lifted the
latch of the door somewhat
nervously. I affected to take
no notice of him, so breath-
less was the haste with which
our immense business connec-
tion compelled me to finger the
keyboard ; but, looking up at
him under my eyehishes, I
could just make out he was a
peculiarly bland and urbane
old person, dressed with the
greatest care, and some atten-
tion to fashion. His face was
l^j^ smooth ; it tended towards
portliness.
He made up his mind, and
entered the office. I continued
to click till I had reached the
close of a sentence — " Or to
take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end
them." Then I looke-^ up sharply. "Can I do anything
for you ? " I enquired, in the smartest tone of business. (I
observe that politeness is not professional.)
The Urbane Old Gentleman came forward with his hat in
his hand. He looked as if he had just landed from the
eighteenth century. His figure was that of Mr. Edward
.:^
THE URBANE OLD GENTLEMAN.
The Urbane Old Gentleman 157
Gibbon. " Yes, madam," he said, in a markedly deferential
tone, fussing about with the rim of his hat as he spoke, and
adjusting his pincc-ncz. " I was recommended to your — ur
— your establishment for shorthand and typewriting. I
have some work which I wish done, if it falls within your
province. But I am rather particular. I require a quick
worker. Excuse my asking it, but how many words can
you do a minute ? "
" Shorthand ? " I asked, sharply, for I wished to imitate
official habits.
The Urbane Old Gentleman bowed. " Yes, shortha^nd-
Certainly."
I waved ni}^ hand with careless grace towards Elsie — as if
these things happened to us daily. ' ' Miss Petheridge under-
takes the shorthand department," I said, with decision. " I
am the typewriting from dictation. Miss Petheridge, for-
ward ! "
Elsie rose to it like an angel. " A hundred," she an-
swered, confronting him.
The old gentleman bowed again. " And your terms? "
he enquired, in a honey-tongued voice. " If I may venture
to ask them."
We handed him our printed tariff. He seemed satisfied.
*' Could you spare me an hour this morning? " he asked,
still fingering his hat nervously with his puffy hand. " But
perhaps you are engaged. I fear I intrude upon you."
" Not at all," I answered, consulting an imaginary en-
gagement list. " This work can wait. I^et me see : 11.30.
Elsie, I think you have nothing to do l)efore one, that can-
not be put off? Quite so — very well, then ; yes, we are both
at your service."
T5<^ Miss Cay ley's Adventures
The Urbane Old Gentleman looked about him for a seat.
I pushed him our one easy-chair. He withdrew his gloves
with great deliberation, and sat down in it with an apologetic
glance. I could gather from his dress and his diamond pin
that he was wealthy. Indeed, I half guessed who he was
already. There was a fussiness about his manner which
seemed strangely familiar to me.
He sat down by slow degrees, edging himself about till he
was thoroughly comfortable. I could see he was of the kind
that will have comfort. He took out his notes and a packet
of letters, which he sorted slowly. Then he looked hard at
me and at Elsie. He seemed to be making his choice be-
tween us. After a time he spoke. " I think,'''' he said, in a
most leisurely voice, " I will not trouble your friend to write
shorthand for me, after all. Or .should I say your assistant ?
Excuse my change of plan. I will content myself with dic-
tation. You can follow on the machine ? ' '
" As fast as you choose to dictate to me."
He glanced at his notes and began a letter. It was a
curious communication. It seemed to be all about buying
Bertha and selling Clara — a cold-blooded proceeding which
almost suggested slave-dealing. I gathered he was giving
instructions to his agent : could he have business rela-
tions with Cuba? I wondered. But there were also hints
of mysterious middies — brave British tars to the re.s-
cue, possibly ! Perhaps my bewilderment showed itself
upon my face, for at last he looked queerly at me. " You
don't quite like this, I 'm afraid," he said, breaking off
short.
I was the soul of business. " Not at all," I answered. " I
am an automaton — nothing more. It is a typewriter's func-
The Urbane Old Gentleman 159
tion to transcribe the words a client dictates as if tliey were
absolutely meaningless to her."
*' Quite right," he answered, approvingly. " Quite right.
I see you understand. A very proper spirit ! "
Then the Woman within me got the better of the Type-
writer. " Though I confess," I continued, " 1 do feel i\ is a
little unkind to sell Clara at once for whatever she will fetch.
It seems to me — well — unchivalrous."
He smiled, but held his peace.
" Still — the middies," I went on ; " they will perhaps
take care that these poor girls are not ill-treated."
He leaned back, clasped his hands, and regarded me
fixedly. " Bertha," he said, after a pause, " is Brighton
A's — to be strictly correct, London, Brighton, and South
Coast First Preference Debentures. Clara is Glasgow and
South-Western Deferred Stock. Middies are Midland Ordi-
nary. But I respect your feeling. You are a young lady
of principle." And he fidgeted more than ever.
He went on dictating for just an hour. His subject-
matter bewildered me. It was all about India Bills, and
telegraphic transfers, and selling cotton short, and holding
tight to Egyptian Unified. Markets, it seemed, were
glutted. Hungarians were only to be dealt in if they
hardened — hardened sinners I know, but what are hardened
Hungarians ? And fears were not unnaturally expressed
that Turks might be" irregular." Consols, it appeared, were
certain to give way for political reasons ; but the downward
tendency of Australians, I was relieved to learn, for the
honour of so great a group of colonies, could only be tempo-
rar5^ Greeks were growing decidedly worse, though I had
alvvavs understood Greeks were bad enough already ; and
i6o
Miss Cayley's Adventures
Argentine Central were likely to l)e weak ; but Provincials
must soon become commendably firm, and if Uruguays went
flat, something good ought to be made out of them. Scotch
rails might shortly be quiet — I always understood they were
based upon sleepers ; but if South-Eastern stiffened, advan-
HE WKNT ON DICTATING FOK JUST AN HOUR.
tage should certainly be taken of their vStiffening. He would
telegraph particulars on Monday morning. And so on till
my brain reeled. Oh, artistic Florence! was this the Filippo
Lippi, the Michael Angelo I dreamed of?
At the end of the hour, the Urbane Old Gentleman ro.se
urbanely. He drew on his gloves again with the greatest
deliberation, and hunted for his stick as if his life depended
upon it. " Let me see ; I had a pencil ; oh, thanks ; yes,
that is it. This cover protects the point. My hat ? Ah,
certainly. And my notes ; much obliged ; notes always get
mislaid. People are so careless. Then I will come again to-
The Urbane Old Gentleman i6i
morrow ; the same hour, if you will kindl)' keep yourself
disengaged. Though, excuse me, you had better make an
entry of it at once upon your agenda."
" I shall remember it,*' I answered, smiling.
" No ; will you ? But you have n't my name."
*' I know it," I answered. " At least, I think so. You
are Mr, Marmaduke Ashurst. Lady Georgina Fawley sent
you here. ' '
He laid down his hat and gloves again, so as to regard me
more undistracted. " You are a most remarkable young
lady," he said, in a very slow voice. " I impressed upon
Georgina that she must not mention to you that I was com-
ing. How on earth did you recognise me ? "
" Intuition, most likely."
He stared at me with a sort of suspicion. " Please don't
tell me that you think me like my sister," he went on.
** For though, of course, every right-minded man feels — ur —
a natural respect and affection for the members of his family
— bows, if I may so say, to the inscrutable decrees of Provi-
dence— which has mysteriously burdened him with them —
still, there are points about Lady Georgina which I cannot
con.scientiously assert I approve of."
I remembered " Marmy 's a fool," and held my tongue
judiciously.
" I do not resemble her, I hope," he persisted, with a look
which I could almost describe as wistful.
" A family likeness, perhaps," I put in. " Family like-
nesses exist, you know — often with complete divergence of
tastes and character."
He looked relieved. " That is true. Oh, how true ! But
the likeness in my case, I must admit, escapes me."
II
f
1 62 Miss Cayley's Adventures
I temporised. " Strangers see these things most," I said,
airing the stock platitudes. " It may be superficial. And,
of course, one knows that profound differences of intellect
and moral feeling often occur within the limits of a single
family."
" You are quite right," he said, with decision. " Geor-
gina's principles are not mine. Excuse my remarking it,
but j'ou seem to be a young lady of unusual penetration."
I saw he took my remark as a compliment. What T really
meant to say was that a connnoiiplace man might easily be
the brother to so clever a woman as Lady Georgina.
He gathered up his hat, his stick, his gloves, his notes,
and his typewritten letters, one by one, and backed out
politely. He was a punctilious millionaire. He had risen
by urbanity to his brother directors, like a model guinea-
pig. He bowed to us each separately as if we had been
duchesses.
As soon as he was gone, Elsie turned to me. " Brownie,
how on earth did 3'ou guess it? They 're so awfully
different!"
" Not at all," I an.swered. " A few surface unlikenesses
only just mask an underlying identity. Their features are
the same ; but his are plump ; hers, shrunken. Lad}'
Georgina's expression is sharp and worldly ; Mr. Ashurst's
is smooth, and bland, and financial. And then their man-
ner ! Both are fussy ; but Lady Georgina's is honest, open,
ill-tempered fussiness ; Mr. Ashurst's is concealed under an
artificial mask of obsequious politeness. One 's cantanker-
ous ; the other 's only pernicketty. It 's one tune, after all,
in two different key.s."
From that day forth, the Urbane Old Gentleman was a
The Urbane Old Gentleman
i6
daily visitor. He took an hour at a time at first ; but after
a few days, the hour lengthened out (apologetically) to an
entire morning. He "presumed to ask" my Christian
name the second day, and remembered my father — " a man
HE BOWED TO US EACH SEPARATELY,
of excellent principles." But he did n't care for Klsie to
work for him. Fortunately for her, other work dropped in,
once we had found a client, or else, poor girl, she would
have felt sadly slighted. I was glad she had something to
do ; the sense of dependence weighed heavily upon her.
164 Miss Cayley's Adventures
The Urbane Old Gentleman did not confine himself en-
tirely, after the first few days, to Stock Exchange literature.
He was engaged on a Work — he spoke of it always with
bated breath, and a capital letter was implied in his intona-
tion ; the Work was one on the Interpretation of Prophec}-.
Unlike Lady Georgina, who was tart and crisp, Mr. Marma-
duke Ashurst was devout and decorous ; where she said
" pack of fools," he talked with unction of " the mental de-
ficiencies of our poorer brethren." But his religious opin-
ions and his stockbroking had got strangely mixed up at the
wash somehow. He was convinced that the British nation
represented the lyost Ten Tribes of Israel — and in particular
Kphraim — a matter on which, as a mere lay-woman, I would
not presume either to agree with him or to differ from him.
" That being so, Miss Cayley, we can easily understand that
the existing commercial prosperity of England depends upon
the promises made to Abraham."
1 assented, without committing myself: " It would seem
to follow."
Mr. Ashurst, encouraged by so much assent, went on to
unfold his System of Interpretation, which was of a strictly
connnercial or company-promoting character. It ran like a
prospectus. " We have inherited the gold of Australia and
the diimonds of the Cape," he said, growing didactic, and
lifting one fat forefinger ; " w^e are now inheriting Klondike
and the Rand, for it is morally certain that we shall annex
the Transvaal, Again, ' the chief things of the ancient
mountains, and the precious things of the everlasting hills.'
What does that mean ? The ancient mountains are clearly
the Rockies ; can the everlasting hills be anything but the
Himalayas ? ' For they shall suck of the abundance of the
The Urbane Old Gentleman 165
seas ' — that refers, of course, to our world-wide commerce,
due mainly to imports — * and of the treasures hid in the
sund.' Which sand ? Undoubtedly, I say, the desert of
Mount Sinai. What then is our obvious destiny ? A lady
of your intelligence must gather at once that it is ?"
He paused and gazed at me.
" To drive the Sultan out of Syria," I suggested tenta-
tively, " and to annex Palestine to our practical province of
Egypt?"
He leaned back in his chair and folded his fat hands in
undisguised satisfaction, " Now, you are a thinker of ex-
ceptional penetration," he broke out. *' Do you know, Miss
Cayley, I have tried to make that point clear to the War
Office, and the Prime Minister, and many leading financiers
in the Cit}' of London, and I caji't get them to see it. They
have no heads, those people. But jj'^?< catch at it at a glance.
Why, I endeavoured to interest Rothschild and induce him
to join me in my Palestine Development Syndicate, and, will
you believe it, the man refused point blank, Though if he
had only looked at Nahum iii. 17 "
" Mere financiers," I said, smiling, " will not consider
these questions from a historical and prophetic point of view.
They see nothing above percentages."
" That 's it," he replied, lighting up. " They have no
higher feelings. Though, mind you, there will be dividends
too ; mark my words, there will be dividends. This syndi-
cate, besides fulfilling tii? prophecies, will pay forty per
cent, on every pemiy embarked in it."
" Only forty per cent, for Ephraim ! " I murmured, half
below my breath. " Why, Judah is said to batten upon
.sixty."
1 66 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
He caught at it eagerl}-, without perceiving my gentle
sarcasm,
" In that case, we might even expect sevent}'," he put in
with a gasp of anticipation. " Though I approached Roths-
child first with my scheme on purpose, so that Israel and
Judaii might once more unite in sharing the promises."
" Your combined generosity and connnercial instinct does
you credit," I answered. "It is rare to find so much love
for an abstract study side by side with such conspicuous
financial abilit}-."
His guilelessness was beyond words. He swallowed it
like an infant. " So I think," he answered. " I am glad
to observe that you understand my character. Mere City
men don't. They have no souls above shekels. Though,
as I show them, there are shekels in it, too. Dividends,
dividends, di-vidends. Ihxt j'o?t are a lady of understanding
and comprehension. You have been to Girton, have n't you ?
Perhaps you read Greek, then ? "
" Enough to get on with."
" Could you look up things in Herodotus ? "
" Certainly."
" In the original ? "
" Oh, dear, yes."
He regarded me once more with the same astonished
glance. His own classics, I soon learnt, were limited to the
amount which a public school succeeds in dinning, during
the intervals of cricket and football, into an English gentle-
man. Then he informed me that he wished me to hunt up
certain facts in Herodotus " and elsewhere " confirmatory of
his view that the English were the descendants of the Ten
Tribes. I promised to do so, swallowing even that com-
The Urbane Old Gentleman 167
prehensive " elsewhere." It was none of my bnsiness to
believe or disbelieve ; I was paid to get up a case, and I got
one up to the best of my ability. I imagine it was at least
as good as most other cases in similar matters ; at any rate,
it pleased the old gentleman vastly.
By dint of listening, I began to like him. But Elsie
could n't bear him. She hated the fat crease at the back of
his neck, she told me.
After a week or two devoted to the Interpretation of Proph-
ecy on a strictly conunercial basis of Founders' Shares, with
interludes of mining engineers' reports upon the rubies of
Mount Sinai and the supposed auriferous quartzites of Pales-
tine, the Urbane Old Gentleman trotted down to the office one
day, carrying a packet of notes of most voluminous magnitude.
" Can we work in a room alone this morning. Miss Cayley ? "
he asked, with mystery in his voice ; he was always mysteri-
ous. " I want to intrust you with a piece of work of an ex-
ceptionally private and confidential character. It concerns
Property. In point of fact," he dropped his voice to a
whisper, " I want you to draw up my will for me."
" Certainly," I said, opening the door into the back office.
But I trembled in my shoes. Could this mean that he was
going to draw up a will, disinheriting Harold Tillington ?
And suppose he did, what then ? My heart was in a tumult.
If Harold were rich — well and good, I could never marry him.
But, if Harold were poor — I must keep my promise. Could
I wish him to be rich ? Could I wish him to be poor ? My
heart stood divided two ways within me.
The Urbane Old Gentleman began with immense delibera-
tion, as befits a man of principle when Property is at stake.
" You will kindly take down notes from my dictation," he
1 68 Miss Cayley's Adventures
said, fussing with bis papers ; " and afterwards I will ask
you to be so good as to copy it all out fair on your typewriter
for signature."
" Is a typewritten form legal ? " I ventured to enquire.
** A most perspicacious young lady ! " he interjected, well
pleased. " I have investigated that point, and find it per-
fectly regular. Only, if I may venture to say so, there
should be no erasures. ' '
" There .shall be none," I answered.
The Urbane Old Gentleman leant back in his easy-chair,
and began dictating from his notes with tantalising deliber-
ateness. This was the last will and testament of him,
Marmaduke Courtney Ashurst. Its verbiage wearied me.
I was eager for him to come to the point about Harold. In-
stead of that, he did what it seems is usual in such cases — set
out with a number of unimportant legacies to old family
servants and other hangers-on among " our poorer brethren."
I fumed and fretted inwardly. Next came a series of quaint
bequests of a quite novel character. " I give and bequeath
to James Walsh and Sons, of 720 High Holborn, London,
the sum of Five Hundred Pounds, in consideration of the
benefit they have conferred upon humanity by the invention
of a sugar-spoon or silver sugar-sifter, by means of which it
is possible to dust sugar upon a tart or pudding without let-
ting the whole or the greater part of the material run through
the apertures uselessly in transit. You must have observed,
Miss Cayley — with your usual perspicacity — that most sugar-
sifters allow the sugar to fall through them on to the table
prematurely. ' '
" I have noticed it," I answered, trembling with anxiety.
" James Walsh and Sons, acting on a hint from me, have
The Urbane Old Gentleman 169
succeeded in inventing a form of spoon which does not pos-
sess that regrettable drawback. ' Run through the apertures
uselessly in transit,' I think I said last. Yes, thank you.
Very good. We will now continue. And I give and be-
quealh the like sum of Five Hundred Pounds — did I say,
free of legacy duty ? No ? Then please add it to James
Walsh's clause. Five Hi-ndred Pounds, free of legacy duty,
to Thomas Webster Jones, of Wheeler Street, Soho, for his
admirable invention of a pair of braces which will not slip
down on the wearer's shoulders after half an hour's use.
Most braces, you must have observed. Miss Cay ley "
" My acquaintance with braces is limited, not to say ab-
stract," I interposed, smiling.
He gazed at me, and twirled his fat thumbs.
'* Of course," he murmured. " Of course. But most
braces, you may not be aware, slip down unpleasantly on the
shoulder-blade, and so lead to an awkward habit of hitching
them up by the sleeve-hole of the waistcoat at frequent inter-
vals. Such a habit must be felt to be ungraceful. Thomas
Webster Jones, to whom I pointed out this error of manu-
facture, has invented a brace the two halves of which diverge
at a higher angle than usual, and fasten further towards the
centre of the body in front — pardon these details — so as to
obviate that difficulty. He has given me satisfaction, and
he deserves to be rewarded."
I heard through it all the voice of Lady Georgina observ-
ing, tartly, " Why the idiots can't make braces to fit one at
first passes my comprehension. But, there, my dear ; the
people who manufacture them are a set of born fools, and
what can you expect from an imbecile ? " Mr. Ashurst was
Lady Georgina, veneered with a thin layer of ingratiating
I/O Miss Caylcy's Adventures
urbanity. Lady Gcorgina was clever, and therefore acri-
monious. Mr. Ashurst was astute, and therefore obsequious.
He went on with legacies to the inventor of a sauce-bottle
which did not let the last drop dribble down so as to spot the
table-cloth ; of a shoe-horn the handle of which did not come
undone ; and of a pair of sleeve-links which you could put
off and on without injury to the temper. " A real bene-
factor. Miss Cayley ; a real benefactor to the link-wearing
classes ; for he has sensibly diminished the average anmial
output of profane swearing."
When he left Five Hundred Pounds to his faithful servant
Frederic Higginson, courier, I was tempted to interpose ; but
I refrained in time, and I was glad of it afterwards.
At last, after many divagations, my Urbane Old Gentle-
man arrived at the central point — " And I give and bequeath
to my nephew, Harold Ashurst Tillington, Younger of Gled-
cliffe, Dumfriesshire, attache to Her Majesty's Embassy at
Rome "
I waited, breathless.
He was annoy ingly dilatory. " My house and estate of
Ashurst Court, in the County of Gloucester, and my town
house at 24 Park I^ane North, in London, together with the
residue of all my estate, real or personal " and so forth.
I breathed again. At least, I had not been called upon to
disinherit Harold.
" Provided always " he went on, in the same voice.
I wondered what was coming.
" Provided always that the said Harold Ashurst Tillington
does not marry leave a blank there, Miss Cayley. I will
find out the name of the person I desire to exclude, and fill
it in afterward. I don't recolkct it at this moment, but
The Urbane Old Gentleman
171
Higginson, no doubt, will be able to supply the deficiency.
In fact, I don't think I ever heard it ; though Higginson has
told me all about the woman."
" Higginson ? " I enquired. " Is he here ? "
" Oh, dear, yes. You heard of him, I suppose, from
Georgina. Georgina is prejudiced. He has come back to
I WAITED, BREATHLESS.
me, I am glad to say. An excellent servant, Higginson,
though a trifle too omniscient. All men are equal in the eyes
of their Maker, of course ; but we must have due subordina-
tion. A courier ought not to be better informed than his
master — or ought at least to conceal the fact dexterously.
Well, Higginson knows this young person's name; my .sister
wrote to me about her disgraceful conduct when she first
went to Schlangenbad. An adventuress, it seems ; an ad-
venturess ; quite a shocking creature. Foisted herself upon
172
Miss Cayley's Adventures
Lady Georgina in Kensington Gardens — unintroduced, if
you can believe such a thing — with the most astonishing
effrontery ; and Georgina, who will forgive anything on
earth, for the sake of what she calls originality — another
name for impudence, as I am sure you must know — took the
young woman with her as her maid to Germany. There,
this minx tried to set her cap at my nephew Harold, who
can be caught at once by a pretty face ; and Harold was
bowled over — almost got engaged to her. Georgina took a
fancy to the girl later, having a taste for dubious people (I
cannot say I approve of Georgina' s friends), and wrote again
to say her first suspicions were unfounded: the young wonic^n
was in reality a paragon of virtue. But /know better than
that. Georgina has no judgment. I regret to be obliged to
confess it, but cleverness, I fear, is the only thing in the
world my excellent sister cares for. The hussy, it seems,
was certainly clever. Higginson has told me about her. He
says her bare appearance would suffice to condemn her — a
bold, fast, shameless, brazen-faced creature. But you will
forgive me, I am sure, my dear young lady ; I ought not to
discuss such painted Jezebels before you. We will leave
this person's name blank. I will not sully your pen —
I mean, your typewriter — by asking you to transcribe
it."
I made up my mind at once. " Mr. Ashurst," I said,
looking up from my keyboard, " /can give you this girl's
name ; and then you can insert the proviso immediately."
" You can ? My dear young lady, what a wonderful per-
son you are ! You seem to know everybody, and everything.
But perhaps she was at Schlangenbad with Lady Georgina,
and you were there also ? "
The Urbane Old Gentleman 173
" She was," I answered, deliberately. " The name you
want is — Lois Cayley ! "
He let his notes drop in his astonishment.
I went on with my typewriting, unmoved. " Provided
always that the said Harold Ashurst Tillington does not
marry Lois Cayley ; in which case I will and desire that the
said estate shall pass to whom shall I put in, Mr.
Ashurst?"
He leant forward with his fat hands on his ample knees.
" It was reaWy you f " he enquired, open-mouthed.
I nodded. " There is no use in denying the truth. Mr.
Tillington did ask me to be his wife, and I refused him."
" But, my dear Miss Cayley "
" The difference in station ? " I said ; " the difference,
still greater, in this world's goods ? Yes, I know. I admit
all that. So I declined his oflfer. I did not wish to ruin his
prospects. ' '
The Urbane Old Gentleman eyed me with a sudden tender-
ness in his glance. " Young men are lucky," he said,
slowly, after a short pause ; " — and — Higginson is an idiot.
I say it deliberately — an idiot ! How could one dream of
trusting the judgment of a flunkey about a lady ? My dear —
excuse the familiarity from one who may consider himself in
a certain sense a contingent uncle — suppose we amend the
last clause by the omission of the word not. It strikes me as
superfluous. * Provided always the said Harold Ashurst
Tillington consents to marry ' — I think that sounds better ! "
He looked at me with such fatherly regard that it pricked
my heart ever to have poked fun at his Interpretation of
Prophecy on Stock Exchange principles. I think I flushed
crimson. " No, no," I answered, firmly. " That will not
174 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
do either, please. Tliat 's worse than the other way. You
must not put it, Mr. Ashurst. I could not consent to be
willed away to anybody."
He leant forward, with real earnestness. " My dear," he
said, " that 's not the point. Pardon my reminding you that
you are here in your capacity as my amanuensis. I am
drawing up my will, and if you will allow me to say so, I
cannot admit that anyone has a claim to influence me in the
disposition of my Property."
" Please .' " I cried, pleadingly.
He looked at me and paused. " Well," he went on at
last, after a long interval ; " since jw< insist upon it, I will
leave the bequest to stand without condition."
" Thank you," I murmured, bending low over my
machine.
" If I did as I like, though," he went on, " I should say.
Unless he marries Miss Lois Cayley (who is a deal too good
for him), the estate shall revert to Kynaston's eldest son, a
confounded jackass. I do not usually indulge in intemperate
language ; but I desire to assure you, with the utmost calm-
ness, that Kynaston's eldest son, Lord Southniinster, is a
con-founded jackass."
I rose and took his hand in my own spontaneously. " Mr.
Ashurst," I said, " you may interpret prophecy as long as
ever you like, but you are a dear, kind old gentleman. I am
truly grateful to you for your good opinion."
" And you will marry Harold ? "
" Never," I answered ; " while he is rich. I have said as
much to him."
•' That 's hard," he went on, slowly. " For ... I
should like to be your uncle."
The Urbane Old Gentleman
1/5
I trembled all over. Elsie saved the situation by bursting
in abruptly'.
I will only add that when Mr. Ashurst left, I copied the
"WHAT, YOU hkre!" he cried.
will out neatly, without erasures. The rough original I
threw (somewhat carelessly) into the waste-paper basket.
That afternoon, somebody called to fetch the fair copy for
Mr. Ashurst. I went out into the front office to see him.
To my surprise, it was Iligginson — in his guise as courier.
T76 Miss Cayley's Adventures
He was as astonished as myself. " What, yoic here ! "
he cried. " You dog me ! "
" I was thinking the same thing of you, M. le Comte," I
answered, curtsying.
He made no attempt at an excuse. " Well, I have been
sent for the will," he broke out, curtly.
" And you were sent for the jewel-case," I retorted.
" No, no, Dr. Fortescue-Langley ; / am in charge of the
will, and I will take it myself to Mr. Ashurst."
" I will be even with you yet," he snapped out. " I have
gone back to my old trade, and am trying to lead an honest
life ; hxxiyoii won't let me."
** On the contrary," I answered, smiling a polite smile,
" I rejoice to hear it. If you say nothing more against me
to your employer, I will not disclose to him what I know
about you. But if you slander me, I will. So now we
understand one another."
And I kept the will till I could give it myself into Mr.
Ashurst's own hands in his rooms that evening.
CHAPTER VII
THE advunture; of the unobtrusive oasis
I WILL not attempt to describe to you the minor episodes
of our next twelve months— the manuscripts we type-
wrote and the Manitous we sold. 'T is one of my aims
in a world so rich in bores to avoid being tedious. I will
merely say, therefore, that we spent the greater part of the
year in Florence, where we were building up a connection,
but rode back for the summer months to Switzerland, as
being a livelier place for the trade in bicycles. The net re-
sult was not only that we covered our expenses, but that,
as chancellor of the exchequer, I found myself with a surplus
in hand at the end of the season.
When we returned to Florence for the winter, however, I
confess I began to chafe. " This is slow work, Elsie ! " I
said. " I started out to go round the world ; it has taken
me eighteen months to travel no farther than Italy ! At
this rate, I shall reach New York a grey-haired old lady, in
a nice lace cap, and totter back into London a venerable
crone on the verge of ninety."
However, those invaluable doctors came to my rescue un-
expectedly. I do love doctors ; they are always sending you
off at a moment's notice to delightful places you never
17^ Miss Cayley's Adventures
dreamt of. Elsie was better, but still far from strong. I
took it upon me to consult our medical attendant ; and his
verdict Wiis decisive. He did just what a doctor ought to
do. " She is getting on very well in Florence," he said ;
" but if you want to restore her health completely, I should
advise you to take her for a winter to Egypt. After six
months of the dry, warm, desert air, I don't doubt she might
return to lier work in lyondon."
That last point I used as a lever with Elsie. She posi-
tively revels in teaching mathematics. At first, to be sure,
she objected that we had only just money enough to pay our
way to Cairo, and that when we got there we might starve —
her favourite programme. I have not this extraordinary
taste for starving ; 7ny idea is, to go where j'ou like, and find
something decent to eat when you get there. However, to
humour her, I began to cast about me for a source of in-
come. There is no absolute harm in seeing your way clear
before you for a twelvemonth, though of course it deprives
you of the plot-interest of poverty.
" Elsie," I said, in my best didactic style — I excel in
didactics, — " you do not learn from the lessons that life sets
before you. Look at the stage, for example ; the stage is
universally acknowledged at the present day to be a great
teacher of morals. Does not Irving say so ? — and he ought
to know. There is that splendid model for imitation, for in-
stance, the Clown in the pantomime. How does Clown
regulate his life ? Does he take heed for the morrow ? Not
a bit of it ! * I wish I had a goose,' he says, at some critical
juncture ; and just as he says it — pat — a super strolls upon
the stage with a property goose on a wooden tray ; and
Clown cries, ' Oh, look here, Joey ; here 's a goose ! ' and
The Unobtrusive Oasis 179
proceeds to appropriate it. Then he puts his fingers in his
mouth and observes, ' I wish I had a few apples to make the
sauce with ' ; and as the words escape him — pat again — a
small boy with a very squeaky voice runs on, carrying a
basket of apples. Clown trips him up, and bolls with the
basket. There 's a model for imitation ! The stage sets
these great moral lessons before you regularly every Christ-
mas ; yet you fail to profit by them. Govern your life on
the principles exemplified by Clown ; expect to find that
whatever you want will turn up with punctuality and dis-
patch at the proper moment. Be adventurous and you will
be happy. Take that as a new maxim to put in your copy-
book ! "
" I wish I could think so, dear," Elsie answered. " But
your confidence staggers me."
That evening at our table d^lidtc, however, it was amply
justified. A smooth-faced young man of ample girth and
most prosperous exterior happened to sit next us. He had
his wife with him, so I judged it safe to launch on conversa-
tion. We soon found out that he was the millionaire editor-
proprietor of a great London daily, with many more strings
to his journalistic bow ; his honoured name was Elworthy.
I mentioned casually that we thought of going for the winter
to Egypt. He pricked his ears up. But at the time he said
nothing. After dinner, we adjourned to the cosy salon. I
talked to him and his wife ; and somehow, that evening, the
devil entered into me. I am subject to devils. I hasten to
add, they are mild ones. I had one of my reckless moods
just then, however, and I reeled off rattling stories of our
various adventures. Mr. Elworthy believed in youth and
audacity ; I could see I interested him. The more he was
i8o Miss Cayley's Adventures
amused, the more reckless I became. " That 's bright," he
said at last, when I told him the tale of our amateur exploits
in the sale of Manitous. "That would make a good
article!"
" Yes," I answered, with bravado, determined to strike
while the iron was hot. '* What the Daily Telephone lacks
is just one enlivening touch of feminine brightness."
He smiled. ** What is your forte ? " he enquired.
** My forte," I answered, " is — to go where I choose, and
write what I like about it." •
He smiled again. " And a very good new departure in
journalism too ! A roving commission ! Have you ever
tried your hand at writing ? ' '
Had I ever tried ! It was the ambition of my life to see
myself in print ; though, hitherto, it had been ineffectual.
" I have written a few sketches," I answered, with becoming
modesty. As a matter of fact, our ofl&ce bulged with my un-
published manuscripts.
" Could you let me see them ? " he asked.
I assented, with inner joy, but outer reluctance. " If you
wish it," I murmured ; " but — you must be very lenient ! "
Though I had not told Elsie, the truth of the matter was,
I had just then conceived an idea for a novel — my viagmnn
opus — the setting of which compelled Egyptian local colour ;
and I was therefore dying to get to Egypt, if chance so willed
it. I accordingly submitted a few of my picked manuscripts
to Mr. Elworthy, in fear and trembling. He read them,
cruel man, before my very eyes ; I sat and waited, twiddling
my thumbs, demure but apprehensive.
When he had finished, he laid them down.
" Racy ! " he said. " Racy ! You 're quite right, Miss
The Unobtrusive Oasis
iSi
Cayley. That 's just what we want on the Daily Tehphone.
I should like to print these three," selecting them out, " at
our usual rate of pay per thousand."
HE READ THKM, CRUEL MAN, BEFORE MY VERY EYES.
" You are very kind." But the room reeled with me.
" Not at all. I am a man of business. And these are
good copy. Now, about this Egypt. I will put the matter
in the shape of a business proposition. Will you undertake,
if I pay your passage, and your friend's, with all travelling
expenses, to let me have three d^scn^'.l /•: articles a week,
on Cairo, the Nile, Syria, and India, running to about two
thousand words apiece, at three guineas a thousand ? ' '
1 82 Miss Cayley's Adventures
My breath came and went. It was positive opulence.
The super with the goose could n't approach it for patness.
My editor had brought me the apple sauce as well, without
even giving me the trouble of cooking it.
The very next day everything was arranged. Elsie tried
to protest, on the foolish ground that she had no money, but
the faculty had ordered the apex of her right lung to go to
Egypt, and I could n't let her fly in the face of the faculty.
We secured our berths in a P. and O. steatner from Brindisi ;
and within a week we were tossing upon the bosom of the
blue Mediterranean.
People who have n't crossed the blue Mediterranean cher-
ish an absurd idea that it is always calm and warm and
sunny. I am sorry to take away any sea's character ; but
I speak of it as I find it (to borrow a phrase from my old gyp
at Girton); and I am bound to admit that the Mediterranean
did not treat me as a lady expects to be treated. It behaved
disgracefully. People may rhapsodise as long as they choose
about a life on the ocean wave; for my own part, I would n't
give a pin for sea-sick nes.s. We glided down the Adriatic
from Brindisi to Corfu with a reckless profusion of lateral
motion which suggested the idea that the ship must have
been drinking.
I tried to rouse Elsie when we came abreast of the Ionian
Islands, and to remind her that " Here was the home of
Nausicaa in the Odyssey." Elsie failed to respond ; she
was otherwise occupied. At last, I succumbed and gav^e it
up. I remember nothing further till a day and a half
later, when we got under lee of Crete, and the ship showed
a tendency to resume the perpendicular. Then I began once
more to take a languid interest in the dinner question.
The Unobtrusive Oasis 183
I may add partiithetically that the Mediterranean is a mere
bit of a sea, when you look at it on the map — a pocket sea
to be regarded with mingled contempt and affection ; but
you learn to respect it when you find that it takes four clear
days and nights of abject misery merely to run across its
eastern basin from Brindisi to Alexandria. I respected the
Mediterranean innnensely while we lay off the Peloponnesus
in the trough of the waves with a north wind blowing ; I
only began to temper my respect with a distant liking when
we passed under the welcome shelter of Crete on a calm,
star-lit evening.
It was deadly cold. We had not counted upon such
weather in the sunny south. I recollect now that the
Greeks were wont to represent Boreas as a chilly deity, and
spoke of the Thracian breeze with the same deferentially
deprecating adjectives which we ourselves apply to the east
wind of our fatherland; but that apt classical memory some-
how failed to console or warm me. A good-natured male
passenger, however, volunteered to ask us, " Will I get ye
a rug, ladies?" The form of his courteous question sug-
gested the probability of his Irish origin.
" You are very kind," I answered. ** If you don't want
it for yourself, I 'm sure my triend would be glad to have
the use of it."
" Is it meself ? Sure, I 've got me big ulsther, and I 'm as
warrum as a toast in it. But ye 're not provided for this
weather. Ye 've thrusted too much to those rascals the
po-uts. ' Where breaks the blue Sicilian say,' the rogues
write. I'd like to set them down in it, wid a nor'-easter
blowing ! "
He fetched up his rug. It was ample and soft, a smooth
1 84
Miss Caylcy's Adventures
brown camel-hair. He wrapped us both up in it. We sat
late on deck that night, as warm as toast ourselves, thanks
to our genial Irishman.
T IS DR. MACLOGHLEN, HE ANSWERED.
We asked his name. " 'T is Dr. Macloghlen," he an-
swered. " I 'm from County Clare, ye see ; and I 'm on me
way to Egypt for thravel and exploration. Me fader whisht
me to see the worruld a bit before I 'd settle down to practise
me profession at Liscannor. Have ye ever been in County
Clare ? Sure, 't is the pick of Oireland."
The Unobtrusive Oasis 185
" We have that pleasure still in store," I an.swered, smiling.
" It spreads gold-leaf over the future, as George Meredith
puts it."
"Is it Meredith ? Ah, there 's the foine writer ! 'T is
jaynius the man has : I can't undtherstand a word of him.
But he 's half Otrish, ye know. What proof have I got of
it ? An' would he write like that if there was n't a dhrop
of the blood of the Celt in him ? "
Next day and next night, Dr. Macloghlen was our devoted
slave. I had won his heart by admitting frankly that his
countrywomen had the finest and liveliest eyes in Europe —
eyes with a deep twinkle, half fun, half passion. He took
to us at once, and talked to us incessantly. He was a red-
haired, raw-boned Munster-man, but a real good fellow.
We forgot the aggressive inequalities of the Mediterranean
while he talked to us of " the pizzantry." Late the second
evening he propounded a confidence. It was a lovely night ;
Orion overhead, and the plashing phosphorescence on the
water below conspired v;it.h the hour to make him specially
confidential. " Now, Miss Cayley," he said, leaning for-
ward on his deck chair, and gazing earnestly into my eyes,
" there 's wan question I 'd like to ask ye. The ambition
of me life is to get into Parlimint. And I want to know from
ye, as a frind — if I accomplish me heart's wish — is there
annything, in me apparence, ar in me voice, ar in me accent,
ar in me manner, that would lade annybody to suppose I
was an Oirishman ? "
I succeeded, by good luck, in avoiding Elsie's eye. What
on earth could I answer ? Then a happy thought struck
me. " Dr. Macloghlen," I said, " it would not be the
slightest use your trying to conceal it ; for even if nobody
1 86 Miss Cayley's Adventures
ever detected a faint Irish intonation in your words or
phrases — how could your eloquence fail to betray you for a
countryman of Sheridan and Burke and Grattan ? "
He seized my hand with such warmth that I thought it
best to hurry down to my state-room at once, under cover
of my compliment.
At Alexandria and Cairo we found him invaluable. He
looked after our luggage, which he gallantly rescued from
the lean hands of fifteen Arab porters, all eagerly struggling
to gain possession of our effects ; he saw us safe into the
train ; and he never quitted us till he had safely ensconced
us in our rooms at Shepheard's. For himself, he said, with
subdued melancholy, " 't was to some cheaper hotel he must
go ; Shepheard's was n't for the likes of him ; though if land
in County Clare was wort' what it ought to be, there wasn't
a finer estate in all Oireland than his fader's."
Our Mr. Elworthy was a modern proprietor, who knew
how to do things on the lordly scale. Having commissioned
me to write this series of articles, he intended them to be
written in the first style of art, and he had instructed me
accordingly to hire one of Cook's little steam dehabeahs,
where I could work at leisure. Dr. Macloghlen was in his
element arranging for the trip. " Sure the only thing I
mind," he said, " is — that I '11 not be going wid ye." I
think he was half inclined to invite himself ; but there again
I drew the line. I will not sell salt fish ; and I will not go
up the Nile, unchaperoned, with a casual man acquaint-
ance.
He did the next best thing, however : he took a place in a
sailing dahabeah ; and as we steamed up slowly, stopping
often on the way, to give me time to write my articles, he
The Unobtrusive Oasis 187
managed to arrive almost always at every town or ruin ex-
actly when we did.
I will not describe the voyage. The Nile is the Nile.
Just at first, before we got used to it, we conscientiously
looked up the name of every village we passed on the bank
in our Murray and our Baedeker. After a couple of days'
Niling, however, we found that formality quite unnecessary.
They were all the same village, under a number of aliases.
They did not even take the trouble to disguise themselves
anew, like Dr. Fortescue-Langley, on each fresh appearance.
They had every one of them a small whitewashed mosque,
with a couple of tall minarets ; and around it spread a tunn-
ber of mud-bnilt cottages, looking more like bee-hives than
human habitations. They had also every one of them a
group of date-palms, overhanging a cluster of mean bare
houses ; and they all alike had a picturesque and even im-
posing air from a distance, but faded away into indescribable
squalor as one got abreast of them. Our progress was
monotonous. At twelve, noon, we would pass Aboo-Teeg,
with its mosque, its palms, its mud-huts, and its camels ;
then for a couple of hours we would go on through the midst
of a green field on either side, studded by more mud-huts,
and backed up by a range of grey desert mountains ; only
to come at 2 p.m., twenty miles higher up, upon Aboo-Teeg
once more, with the same mosque, the same mud-huts, and
the same haughty camels, placidly chewing the same aristo-
cratic cud, but under the alias of Koos-kam. After a wild
hubbub at the qnay, we would leave Koos-kam behind, with
its camels still vSerenely munching day before yesterday's
dimier ; and twenty miles farther on, again, having passed
through the same green plain, backed by the same grey
i88
Miss Cayley's Adventures
mountains, we would stop once more at the identical Koos-
kam, which this time absurdly described itself as Tahtah.
But whether it was Aboo-Teeg or Koos-kam or Tahtah or
anything else, only the name differed : it was always the
TOO MUCH NILE.
same town, and had always the same camels at precisely the
same stage of the digestive process. It seemed to us im-
material whether you saw all the Nile or only five miles of
it. It was just like wall-paper. A sample sufficed ; the
whole was the sample infinitely repeated.
The Unobtrusive Oasis 189
However, I had my letters to write, and I wrote them
vahantly. I described the various episodes of the compli-
cated digestive process in the camel in the minutest detail.
I gloated over the date-palms, which I knew in three days
as if I had been brought up upon dates. I gave word-
pictures of every individual child, veiled woman, Arab
sheikh, and Coptic priest whom we encountered on the
voyage. And I am open to reprint those conscientious
studies of mud-huts and minarets with any enterprising
publisher who will make me an offer.
Another disillusion weighed upon my soul. Before I went
up the Nile, I had a fancy of my own that the bank was
studded with endle.ss ruined temples, whose vast red colon-
nades were reflected in the water at every turn. I think
Macaulay's Lays were primarily answerable for that particu-
lar misapprehension. As a matter of fact, it surprised me to
find that we often went for two whole days' hard steaming
without ever a temple breaking the monotony of those eternal
date-palms, those calm and superciliously irresponsive camels.
In my humble opinion, Egypt is a fraud ; there is too much
Nile — very dirty Nile at that — and not nearly enough temple.
Besides, the temples, when j'ou do come up with them, are
just like the villages ; they are the same temple over again,
under a different name each time, and they have the same
gods, the same kings, the same wearisome bas-reliefs, except
that the gentleman in a chariot, ten feet high, who is mowing
down enemies a quarter his own size, with unsportsmanlike
recklessness, is called Rameses in this place, and Sethi in
that, and Amen-hotep in the other. With this trifling varia-
tion, when you have seen one temple, one obelisk, one hiero-
glyphic table, you have seen the whole of Ancient Egypt.
I go Miss Cay ley's Adventures
At last, after many days' voyage through the same scenery
daily — rising in the morning off a village with a mosque, ten
palms, and two minarets, and retiring late at night off the
same village once more, with mosque, palms, and minarets,
as before, da capo — we arrived one evening at a place called
Geergeh. In itself, I believe, Geergeh did not differ materi-
ally from all the other places we had passed on our voyage ;
it had its mosque, its ten palms, and its two minarets, as
usual. But I remember its name, because something mys-
terious went wrong there with our machinery ; and the
engineer informed us we nmst wait at least three days
to mend it. Dr. Macloghlen's dahabeah happened oppor-
tunely to arrive at the same spot on the same day ; and he
declared with fervour he would " see us through our
throubles." But what on earth were we to do with our-
selves through three long days and nights at Geergeh ?
There were the ruins of Abydos close at hand, to be sure ;
though I defy anybody not a professed Egyptologist to give
more than one day to the ruins of Abydos. In this emer-
gency. Dr. Macloghlen came gallantly to our aid. He dis-
covered by enquiring from an English-vSpeaking guide that
there was an unobtrusive oasis, never visited by Europeans,
one long day's journey off", across the desert. As a rule, it
takes at least three days to get camels and guides together
for such an expedition ; for Egypt is not a land to hurry in.
But the indefatigable Doctor further unearthed the fact that
a sheikh had just come in, who (for a consideration) would
lend us camels for a two days' trip ; and we seized the chance
to do our duty by Mr. Elworthy and the world-wide circula-
tion. An unvisited oasis — and two Christian ladies to be the
first to explore it : there 's journalistic enterprise for you !
The Unobtrusive Oasis 191
If we happened to be killed, so much the better for the Daily
Telephone. I pictured the excitement at Piccadilly Circus.
" Extra Special, Our Own Correspondent brutally mur-
dered ! " I rejoiced at the opportunity.
I cannot honestly say that Elsie rejoiced with me. She
cherished a prejudice against camels, massacres, and the new
journalism. She did n't like being murdered; though this
was premature, for she had never tried it. She objected
that the fanatical Mohammedans of the Senoosi sect, who
were said to inhabit the oasis in question, might cut our
throats for dogs of infidels. I pointed out to her at some
length that it was just that chance which added zest to our
expedition as a journalistic venture; fancy the glory of being
the first lady journalists martyred in the cause ! But she
failed to grasp this aspect of the question. However, if I
went, she would go too, she said, like a dear girl that she is ;
she would not desert me when I was getting my throat cut.
Dr. Macloghlen made the bargain for us, and insisted on
accompanying us across the desert. He told us his method
of negotiation with the Arabs with extreme gusto. " ' Is it
pay in advance ye want ? ' says I to the dirty beggars :
' divvil a penny will ye get till ye bring these ladies safe
back to Geergeh. And remimber, Mr. Sheikh,' says I,
fingering me pistol, so, by way of emphasis, * we take no
money wid us ; so if yer friends at Wadi Bou choose to cut
our throats, 't is for the pleasure of it they '11 be cutting
them, not for anything they '11 gain by it.' * Provisions,
effendi ? ' says he, salaaming. ' Provisions, is it ? ' says I.
' Take everything ye '11 want wid you ; I suppose ye can
buy food fit for a Crischun in the bazaar in Geergeh ; and
never wan penny do ye touch for it all till ye 've landed us
192
Miss Cayley's Adventures
on the bank again, as safe as ye took us. So if the religious
sintiments of the faithful at Wadi Bou should lade them to
hack us to pieces,' says I, just waving nie revolver, ' thin
EMPHASIS.
't is yerself that will be out of pocket by it,' And the ould
diwil cringed as if he took nie for the Prince of Wales.
Faix, 't is the purse that 's the best argumint to catch these
hay then Arabs upon."
The Unobtrusive Oasis 193
When we set out for the desert in the early dawn next
day, it looked as if we were starting for a few months' voy-
age. We had a company of camels that might have befitted
a caravan. We had two large tents, one for ourselves, and
one for Dr. Macloghlen, with a third to dine in. We had
bedding, and cushions, and drinking-water tied up in swol-
len pig-skins, which were really goat-skins, looking far from
tempting. We had bread and meat, and a supply of presents
to soflen the hearts and weaken the religious scruples of the
sheikhs at Wadi Bou. " We thravel en prince,''' said the
Doctor. When all was ready we got under way solemnlj',
our camels rising and sniffing the breeze with a superior air,
as who should saj-, " I happen to be going where you hap-
pen to be going ; but don't for a moment suppose I do it to
please you. It is mere coincidence. You are bound for
Wadi Bou ; I have business of my own which chances to take
me there."
Over the incidents of the journey I draw a veil. Riding
a camel, I find, does not greatly differ from sea-sickness.
They are the same phenomenon under altered circumstances.
We had been assured beforehand on excellent authority that
" much of the comfort on a desert journey depends upon
having a good camel." On this matter I am no authority.
I do not set up as a judge of camel-flesh. But I did not
notice any of the comfort ; so T venture to believe my
camel must have been an exceptionally bad one.
We expected trouble from the fanatical natives ; I am
bound to admit, we had most trouble with Elsie. She was
not insubordinate, but she did not care for camel-riding.
And her beast took advantage of her youth and innocence.
A well-behaved camel should go almost as fast as a child can
*3
194 Miss Cayley's Adventures
walk, and should not sit down plump on the burning sand
without due reason. Elsie's brute crawled, and called halts
RIDING A CAMEL DOES NOT GREATLY DIFFER FROM SEA-SICKNESS.
for prayer at frequent intervals ; it tried to kneel like a good
Mussulman many times a day ; and it showed an intolerant
disposition to crush the infidel by rolling over on top of
The Unobtrusive Oasis 195
Elsie. Dr. Macloghlen admonished it with Irish eloquence,
not always in language intended for publication ; but it only
turned up its supercilious lip and enquired in its own un-
spoken tongue what he knew about the desert.
" I feel like a wurrum before the baste," the Doctor said,
nonplussed.
If the Nile was monotonous, the road to Wadi Bou was
nothing short of dreary. We crossed a great ridge of bare,
grey rock, and followed a rolling valley of sand, scored by
dry ravines, and baking in the sun. It was ghastly to look
upon. All day long, save at the midday rest by some brack-
ish wells, we rode on and on, the brutes stepping forward
with slow, outstretched legs ; though sometimes we walked
by the camels' sides to var}' the monotony ; but ever through
that dreary upland plain, sand in the centre, rocky mountain
at the edge, and not a thing to look at. We were relieved
towards evening to stumble against stunted tamarisks, half
buried in sand, and to feel that we were approaching the
edge of the oasis.
When at last our arrogant beasts condescended to stop, in
their patronising way, we saw by the dim light of the moon
a sort of uneven basin or hollow, studded with date-palms,
and in the midst of the depression a crumbling walled town,
with a whitewashed mosque, two minarets by its side, and
a crowd of mud-houses. It was strangely familiar. We had
come all this way just to see Aboo-Teeg or Koos-kam over
again !
We camped outside the fortified town that night. Next
monn'ng we essayed to make our entry.
At first, the servants of tlie Prophet on watch at the gate
raised serious objections. No infidel might enter. But we
196 Miss Cayley's Adventures
had a p:iss from Cairo, exhorting the faithful iti the name of
the Khedive to give us food and shelter ; and after much
examination and many loud discussions, the gatemen passed
us. We entered the town, and stood alone, three Christian
Europeans, in the midst of three thousand fanatical Moham-
medans.
I confess it was weird. Elsie shrank by my side. " vSup-
pose they were to attack us, Brownie .'• "
"Thin the sheikh here would never get paid," Dr.
Macloghlen put in with true Irish recklessness. " Faix,
he '11 whistle for his money on the whistle I gave him."
That touch of humour saved us. We laughed ; and the
people about saw we could laugh. They left off scowling, and
pressed around trying to sell us pottery and native brooches.
In the intervals of fanaticism, the Arab has an eye to
business.
We passed up the chief street of the bazaar. The inhabit-
ants told us in pantomime the chief of the town was away at
Asioot, whither he had gone two days ago on business. If
he were here, our interpreter gave us to understand, things
might have been different ; for the chief had determined
that, whatever came, no infidel dog should settle in his
oasis.
The women with their veiled faces attracted us strangely.
They were wilder than on the river. They ran when one
looked at them. Suddenly, as we passed one, we saw her
give a little start. She was veiled like the rest, but her agi-
tation was evident through her thick covering.
"She is afraid of Christians," Elsie cried, nestling to-
wards me.
The woman passed close to us. She never looked in our
The Unobtrusive Oasis
197
direction, but in a very low voice she niunnurecl, as she
passed, " Then you are Kn^lish ! "
I had presence of mind enough to conceal my surprise at
this unexpected utterance. " Don't seem to uotice her,
HER AGITATION WAS EVIDENT.
Elsie," I said, looking away. ** Yes, we are English."
She stopped and pretended to examine some jewellery
on a stall. ' ' So am I, " she went on, in the same suppressed,
low v^oice. " For Heaven's sake, help me ! "
19^ Miss Cayley's Adventures
" What are you doing here ? "
" I live here — married. I was with Gordon's force at
Khartoum. They carried me off. A mere girl then. Now
I am thirty."
" And you have been here ever since ? "
She turned away and walked off, but kept whispering be-
hind her veil. \Vc followed, unobtrusively. "Yes; I was
sold to a man at Dongola. He passed me on again to the
chief of this oasis. I don't know where it is ; but I have
been here ever since. I hate this life. Is there any chance
of a rescue ? ' '
" Anny chance of a rescue, is it ? " the Doctor broke in, a
trifle too ostensibly. " If it costs us a whole British army,
me dear lady, we '11 fetch you away and save you."
" But now — to-day ? You won't go away and leave me ?
You are the first Europeans I have seen since Khartoum fell.
They may sell me again. You will not desert me ? "
" No," I said. " We will not." Then I reflected for a
moment.
What on earth could we do ? This was a painful dilemma.
If we once lost sight of her, we might not see her again.
Yet if we walked with her openly, and talked like friends, we
would betraj' ourselves, and her, to those fanatical Senoosis.
I made up my mind promptly. I may not have nuich of a
mind ; but, such as it is, I flatter myself I can make it up at
a moment's notice.
" Can you come to us outside the gate at siinset ? " I
asked, as if speaking to Elsie.
The woman hesitated. '' I think so."
" Then keep us in sight all day, and when evening comes,
stroll out behind us."
The Unobtrusive Oasis 199
She turned over some embroidered slippers on a booth,
and seemed to be inspecting them. " But my children ? "
she murmured anxiously.
The Doctor interposed. "Is it childern she has?" he
asked. " Thin they U be the Mohammedan gintleman's.
We must n't interfere wid them. We can take away the lady
— she 's English, and detained against her will ; but we can't
deprive any man of his own childern."
I was firm, and categorical. " Yes, we can," I said,
stoutly ; " if he has forced a woman to bear them to him
whether she would or not. That 's common justice. I have
no respect for the Mohammedan gentleman's rights. Let
her l)ring them with her. How many are there ? "
" Two — a boy and a girl ; not very old ; the eldest is
seven." She spoke wistfully. A mother is a mother. \
" Then say no more now, but keep us always in sight, and
we will keep you. Come to us at the gate about sundown.
We will carry you off with us."
She clasped her hands and moved off with the peculiar
gliding air of the veiled Mohammedan woman. Our e> js
followed her. We walked on through the bazaai^ thinking
of nothing else now. It was strange how this episode made
us forget our selfish fears for our own safety. Even dear,
timid Elsie remembered only that an .Englishwoman's life
and liberty were at stake. We kept her more or less in
view all day. She glided in and out among the people in
the alleys. When we went back to the camels at lunch-
time, she followed us unobtrusively through the open gate,
and sat watching us from a little way off, among a crowd of
gazers ; for all Wadi Bou was of course agog at this un-
wonted invasion.
2cx> Miss Cayley's Adventures
We discussed the circumstance loudly, so that she might
hear our plans. Dr. Macloghlen advised that we should tell
our sheikh we meant to return part of the way to Geergeh
that evening by moonlight. I quite agreed with him. It
was the only way out. Besides, I did n't like the looks of
the people. They eyed us askance. This was getting ex-
citing now. I felt a professional journalistic interest.
Whether we escaped or got killed, what splendid business
for the Daily Telephone I
The sheikh, of course, declared it was impossible to start
that evening. The men would n't move — the camels needed
rest. But Dr. Macloghlen was inexorable. " Very well,
thin, Mr. Sheikh," he answered, philosophically. ** Ye '11
plaze yerself about whether ye come on wid us or whether
ye shtop. That 's j-er own business. But zve set out at sun-
down ; and whin ye return by yerself on foot to Geergeh, ye
can ask for yer camels at the British Consulate."
All through that anxious afternoon we sat in our tents,
under the shade of the mud-wall, wondering whether we
could carry out our plan or not. About an hour before sun-
set the veiled woman strolled out of the gate with her two
children. She joined the crowd of sight-seers once more, for
never through the day were we left alone for a second. The
excitement grew intense. Elsie and I moved up carelessly
towards the group, talking as if to one another. I looked
hard at Elsie, then I said, as though I were speaking about
one of the children: " Go straight along the road to Geergeh
till you are past the big clump of palms at the edge of the
oasis. Just beyond it comes a sharp ridge of rock. Wait
behind the ridge where no one can see you. When we get
there," I patted the little girl's head, " don't say a word,
The Unobtrusive Oasis 201
but jump on my camel. My two friends will each take one
of the children. If you understand and consent, stroke your
boy's curls. We will accept that for a signal."
She stroked the child's head at once without the least
hesitation. Even through her veil and behind her dress, I
could somehow feel and see her trembling nerves, her beat-
ing heart. But she gave no overt token. She merely turned
and muttered something carelessly in Arabic to a woman
beside her.
We waited once more, in long-drawn suspense. Would
she manage to escape them ? Would they suspect her
motives ?
After ten minutes, when we had returned to our croucli-
ing-place under the shadow of the wall, the woman detached
herself slowly from the group, and began strolling with
almost overdone nonchalance along the road to Geergeh.
We could see the little girl was frightened and seemed to
expostulate with her mother ; fortunately, the Arabs about
were too much occupied in watching the suspicious strangers
to notice this episode of their own people. Presently, our
new friend disappeared ; and, with beating hearts, we awaited
the sunset.
Then came the usual scene of hubbub with the sheikh, the
camels, the porters, and the drivers. It was eagerness against
apathy. With difficulty we made them understand we meant
to get under way at all hazards. I stormed in bad Arabic.
The Doctor inveighed in very choice Irish. At last they
yielded and set out. One by one the camels rose, bent their
slow knees, and began to stalk in their lordly way with out-
stretched necks along the road to the river. We moved
through the palm-groves, a crowd of boys following us and
202
Miss Caylcy's Adventures
shouting for backsheesh. We began to be afraid they would
accompany us too far and discover our fugitive ; but fortun-
ately they all turned back with one accord at a little white-
washed shrine near the edge of the oasis. We reached the
clump of palms ; we turned the corner of the ridge. Had
we missed one another ? No ! There, crouching by t le
CROUCHING BY TME ROCKS SAT OUR MYSTKRIOUS STRANC.KR.
rocks, with her children by her side, sat our mysterious
stranger.
The Doctor was equal to the emergency. " Make those
bastes kneel ! " he cried authoritatively to the sheikh.
The sheikh was taken aback. This was a new exploit
burst upon him. He flung his arms up, gesticulating wildly.
The Doctor, unmoved, made the drivers understand by some
strange pantomime what he wanted. They nodded, half
The Unobtrusive Oasis 203
terrified. In a second, the stranger was by my side, Elsie
had taken the girl, the Doctor the boy, and the camels were
passively beginning to rise again. That is the best of yonr
camel. Once set him on his road, and he goes mechanically.
The sheikh broke out with several loud remarks in Arabic,
which we did not understand, but whose hostile character
could not easily escape us. He was beside himself with
anger. Then I was suddenly aware of the splendid ad-
vantage of having an Irishman on our side. Dr. Macloghlen
drew his revolver, like one well used to such episodes, and
pointed it full at the angry Arab. " Look here, Mr.
Sheikh," he said, calmly, yet with a fine touch of bravado ;
" do ye see this revolver ? Well, unless ye make j'er camels
thravel shtraight to Geergeh widout wan other wurrud, 't is
yer own brains will be .spattered, sor, on the sand of this
desert ! And if ye touch wan hair of our heads, ye '11 answer
for it wid yer life to the British Government."
I do not feel sure that the sheikh comprehended the exact
nature of each word in this comprehensive threat, but I am
certain he took in its general meaning, punctuated as it was
with some flourishes of the revolver. He turned to the
drivers and made a gesture of despair. It meant, apparently,
that this infidel was too much for him. Then he called out
a few sharp directions in Arabic. Next miiuite, our camels'
legs were stepping out briskly along the road to Geergeh with
a promptitude which I 'm sure must have astoni.shed their
owners. We rode on and on through the gloom in a fever
of suspen.se. Had any of the Senoosis noticed our presence ?
Would they miss the chief's wife before long, and follow us
under arms ? Would our own sheikh betray us ? I am no
coward, as women go, but I confess, if it had not been for
204 Miss Cayley's Adventures
our fiery Irishman, I should have felt my heart sink. We
were grateful to him for the reckless and good-humoured
courage of the untamed Celt. It kept us from giving way.
" Ye '11 take notice, Mr. Sheikh," he said, as we threaded
our way among the moon-lit rocks, " that I have twinty-wan
cartridges in me case for me revolver ; and that if there 's
throuble to-night, 't is twinty of them there '11 be for your
frinds the Senoosis, and wan for yerself ; but for fear of dis-
appointing a gintleman, 't is yer own special bullet I '11 dis-
thribute first, if it comes to fighting."
The sheikh's English was a vanishing quantity, but to
judge by the way he nodded and salaamed at this playful
remark, I am convinced he understood the Doctor's Irish
quite as well as I did.
We spoke little by the way; we were all far too frightened,
except the Doctor, who kept our hearts up by a running fire
of wild Celtic humour. But I found time meanwhile to
learn by a few questions from our veiled friend something
of her captivity. She had seen her father massacred before
her eyes at Khartoum, and had then been sold away to a
merchant, who conveyed her by degrees and by various ex-
changes across the desert through lonely spots to the Senoosi
oasis. There she had lived all those years with the chief to
whom her last purchaser had trafficked her. She did not
even know that her husband's village was an integral part
of the Khedive's territory ; far less that the English were
now in practical occupation of Egypt. She had heard no-
thing and learnt nothing since that fateful day ; she had
waited in vain for the off-chance of a deliverer.
" But did you never try to run away to the Nile? " I
cried, astonished.
The Unobtrusive Oasis 205
** Run away ? How could I ? I did not even know which
way the river lay ; and was it possible for me to cross the
desert on foot, or find the chance of a camel ? The Senoosis
would have killed me. Even with you to help me, see what
dangers surround me ; alone, I should have perished, like
Hagar in the wilderness, with no angel to save me."
" An' ye 've got the angel now," Dr. Macloghlen ex-
claimed, glancing at me. "Steady, there, Mr. Sheikh.
What 's this that 's coming ? "
It was another caravan, going the opposite way, on its
road to the oasis ! A voice halloaed from it.
Our new friend clung tightly to me. " My husband ! " she
whispered, gasping.
They were still far off on the desert, and the moon shone
bright. A few hurried words to the Doctor, and with a wild
resolve we faced the emergencj'. He made the camels halt,
and all of us, springing off, crouched down behind their
shadows in such a way that the coming caravan must pass
on the far side of us. At the same moment the Doctor
turned resolutely to the sheikh. " Look here, Mr. Arab,"
he said in a quiet voice, with one more appeal to the simple
Volapuk of the pointed revolver ; "I cover ye wid this.
lyCt these frinds of yours go by. If there 's anny unneces-
sary talking betwixt ye, or anny throuble of anny kind, re-
number, the first bullet goes sthraight as an arrow t' rough
that hay then head of yours ! "
The sheikh salaamed more submissively than ever.
The caravan drew abreast of us. We could hear them cry
aloud on either side the customary salutes : "In Allah's
name, peace ! " answered by " Allah is great ; there is no
god but Allah."
2o6 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
Would anything more happen ? Would our sheikh play
us fiilse ? It was a moment of breathlessness. We crouched
and cowered in the shade, holding our hearts with fear,
while the Arab drivers pretended to be unsaddling the
camels. A minute or two of anxious suspense ; then, peer-
ing over our beasts' backs, we saw their long line filing off
towards the oasis. We watched their turbaned heads, sil-
houetted against the sky, disappear slowly. One by one
they faded away. The danger was past. With beating
hearts we rose up again.
The Doctor sprang into his place and seated himself on his
camel. " Now ride on, Mr. Sheikh," he said, " wid all yer
men, as if grim death was afther ye. Camels or no camels,
ye 've got to march all night, for ye '11 never draw rein till
we 're safe back at Geergeh ! "
And sure enough v^^e never halted, under the persuasive
influence of that loaded revolver, till we dismounted once
more in the early dawn upon the Nile bank, under British
protection.
Then Elsie and I and our rescued countrywoman broke
down together in an orgy of relief. We hugged one another
and cried like so many children.
CHAPTER VIII
THE ADVENTURE OF THE PEA-GREEN PATRICIAN
AWAY to India ! A life on the ocean wave once more ;
and — may it prove less wavy !
In plain prose, my arrangement with " my pro-
prietor," Mr. El worthy (thus we speak in the newspaper
trade), included a trip to Bombay for myself and Elsie. So,
as soon as we had drained Upper Egypt journalistically dry,
we returned to Cairo on our road to Suez. I am glad to
say, my letters to the Daily Telephone gave satisfaction. My
employer wrote, " You are a born journalist." I confess
this surprised me ; for I have always considered myself a
truthful person. Still, as he evidently meant it for praise, I
took the doubtful compliment in good part, and offered no
remonstrance.
I have a mercurial temperament. My spirits rise and fall
as if they were Consols. Monotonous Egypt depressed nie,
as it depressed the Israelites ; but the passage of the Red
Sea set me sounding my timbrel. I love fresh air ; I love
the sea, if the sea will but behave itself; and I positively
revelled in the change from Egypt.
Unfortunately, we had taken our passages by a P. and O.
steamer from Suez to Bombay many weeks beforehand, so
207
2o8 Miss Cayley's Adventures
as to secure good berths ; and still more unfortunatelj', in a
letter to Lady Georgina, I had chanced to mention the name
of our ship and the date of the voyage. I kept up a spas-
modic correspondence with Lady Georgina nowadays —
tuppence-ha'penny a fortnight ; the dear, cantankerous,
racy, old lady had been the foundation of my fortunes, and I
was genuinely grateful to her ; or, rather, I ought to say,
she had been their second foundress, for I will do myself the
justice to admit that the first was my own initiative and
enterprise, I flatter myself I have the knack of taking the
tide on the turn, and I am justly proud of it. But, being a
grateful animal, I wrote once a fortnight to report progress
to Lady Georgina. Besides — let me whisper — strictly be-
tween ourselves — 't was an indirect way of hearing about
Harold.
This time, however, as events turned out, I recognised that
I had made a grave mistake in confiding my movements to
my shrewd old lady. She did not betray me on purpose, of
course ; but I gathered later that casually in conversation
she must have mentioned the fact and date of my sailing be-
fore somebody who ought to have had no concern in it ; and
the somebody, I found, had governed himself accordingly.
All this, however, I only discovered afterwards. So, with-
out anticipating, I will narrate the facts exactly as they oc-
curred to me.
When we mounted the gangway of the Jumna at Suez,
and began the process of frizzling down the Red Sea, I noted
on deck almost at once an odd-looking young man of twenty-
two or thereabouts, with a curious, faint, pea-green com-
plexion. He was the wishy-washiest young man I ever
beheld in my life ; an achromatic study ; in spite of the
.jk
The Pea-Green Patrician
209
delicate pea-greenitiess of his skin, all the colouring matter
of the body seemed somehow to have faded out of him.
Perhaps he had been bleached. As he leant over the taff-
rail, gazing down
with open mouth
and vacant stare at
the water, I took a
good, long look at
him. He interested
me much — because
he was so exception-
ally uninteresting ; a
pallid, anaemic, in-
definite hobble-
dehoy, with a high,
narrow forehead,
and sketchy f e a t -
ures. He had wa-
tery, restless eyes of
an insipid light blue;
thin, yellow hair, al-
most white in its
paleness; and
twitching hands that
played nervously all
t h e t i m e w i t h a
shadowy moustache. This shadowy moustache seemed to
absorb, as a rule, the best part of his attention ; it was so
sparse and so blanched that he felt it continually— to assure
himself, no doubt, of the reality of its existence. I need
hardly add that he wore an eye-glass.
»4
AN ODD-LOOKING YOUNG MAN,
2IO Miss Cayley's Adventures
He was an aristocrat, I felt sure ; Rton and Christ Church;
no ordinary person could have been quite so flavourless.
Imbecility like his is only to be attained as the result of long
and judicious selection.
He went on gazing in a vacant way at the water below, an
ineffectual patrician smile playing feebly round the corners
of his mouth meanwhile. Then he turned and stared at me
as I lay back in my deck-chair. For a minute he looked me
over as if I were a horsii for sale. When he had finished in-
specting me, he beckoned to somebody at the far end of the
quarter-deck.
The somebody sidled up with a deferential air which con-
firmed my belief in the pea-green young man's aristocratic
origin. It was such deference as the British flunkey pays
only to blue blood ; for he has gradations of flunkeydom.
He is respectful to wealth ; polite to acquired rank ; but
servile onl}^ to hereditary nobility. Indeed, you can make
a rough guess at the social status of the person he addresses
by observing which one of his twenty-seven nicely graduated
manners he adopts in addressing him.
The pea-green young man glanced over in my direction,
and murmured something to the satellite, whose back was
turned towards me. I felt sure, from his attitude, he was
asking whether I was the person he suspected me to be. The
satellite nodded assent, whereat the pea-green young man,
screwing up his face to fix his eye-glass, stared harder than
ever. He must be heir to a peerage, I felt convinced ; no-
body short of that rank would consider himself entitled to
stare with such frank unconcern at an unknown lady.
Presently it further occurred to me that the satellite's back
seemed strangel}- familiar. " I have seen that man some-
The Pca-Grccn Patrician 2 1 1
where, Elsie," I whispered, putting aside the wisps of hair
that blew about my face.
" So have I, dear," Elsie answered, with a slight shudder.
And I was instinctively aware that I too disliked him.
As Elsie spoke, the man turned, and strolled slowly past
us, with that ineffable insolence which is the other side of
the flunkey's insufferable self-abasement. He cast a glance
at us as he went by, a withering glance of brazen effrontery.
We knew him, of course ; it was that variable star, our old
acquaintance, Mr. Higginson, the courier.
He was here as himself this time ; no longer the count or
the mysterious faith-healer. The diplomat hid his rays
under the garb of the man-servant.
" Depend upon it, Elsie," I cried, clutching her arm with
a vague sense of fear, " this man means mischief. There is
danger ahead. When a creature of Higginson's sort, who
has risen to be a count and a fashionable physician, descends
again to be a courier, you may, rest assured it is because he
has somethintr to gain by it. He has some deep scheme
afloat. And 7f v are part of it."
" His m3*-;ter looks weak enough and silly enough for any-
thing," Elsie answered, eying the suspected lordling. " I
should think he is just the sort of man such a wily rogue
would naturally fasten upon."
" When a wily rogue gets hold of a weak fool, who is also
dishonest," I said, " the two together may make a formid-
able combination. But never mind. We 're forewarned.
I think I shall be even with him."
That evening, at dinner in the saloon, the pea-green
young man strolled in with a jaunty air and took his seat
next to us. The Red Sea, by the way, was kinder than the
212 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
Mediterranean ; it allowed us to dine from the very first
evening. Cards had been laid on the plates to mark our
places. I glanced at my neighbour's. It bore the inscrip-
tion, " Viscount Southminster."
That was the name of Lord Kynaston's eldest son — Lady
Georgina's nephew ; Harold Tillington's cousin ! So this
was the man who might possibly inherit Mr. Marmaduke
Ashurst's money ! I remembered now how often and how
fervently Lady Georgina had said, " Kynaston's sons are all
fools." If the rest came up to sample, I was inclined to
agree with her.
It also flashed across me that Lord Southminster nn'ght
have heard through Higginson of our meeting with Mr.
Marmaduke Ashurst at Florence, and of my acquaintance
with Harold Tillington at Schlangenbad and Lungern.
With a woman's instinct, I jumped at the fact that the pea-
green young man had taken passage by this boat, on pur-
pose to baffle both me and Harold.
Thinking it over, it seemed to me, too, that he might have
various possible points of view on the matter. He might
desire, for example, that Harold should marry me, under the
impression that his marriage with a penniless outsider would
annoy his uncle ; for the pea-green young man doubtless
thought that I was still to Mr. Ashurst just that dreadful
adventuress. If so, his obvious cue would be to promote a
good understanding between Harold and myself, in order to
make us marry, so that the Urbane Old Gentleman might
then disinherit his favourite nephew, and make a new will in
Lord SoLLliiJ,' oter's interest. Or, again, the pea-green
young man migUt, on the contrary, be aware that Mr.
Ashurst and I had got on admirably together when we met
The Pea-Green Patrician 213
at Florence ; in which case his aim would naturally be to
find out something that might set the rich uncle against me.
Yet once more, he might merely have heard that I had
drawn up Uncle Marmaduke's will at the office, and he might
desire to worm the contents of it out of me. Whichever was
his design, I resolved to be upon my guard in every word I
said to him, and leave no door open to any trickery either
way. For of one thing I felt sure, that the colourless young
man had torn himself away from the mud-honey of Piccadilly
for this voyage to India only because he had heard there was
a chance of meeting me.
That was a politic move, whoever planned it — himself or
Higginson ; for a week on board ship with a person or per-
sons is the very best chance of getting thrown in with them ;
whether they like it or lump it, they can't easily avoid
you.
It was while I was pondering these things in my mind,
and resolving with myself not to give my.self away, that the
young man with the pea-green face lounged in and dropped
into the next seat to me. He was dressed (amongst other
things) in a dinner jacket and a white tie ; for myself, I de-
test such fopperies on board ship ; they seem to me out of
place ; they conflict with the infinite possibilities of the situ-
ation. One stands too near the realities of things. Evening
dress and mal-dc-vier sort ill together.
As my neighbour sat down, he turned to rtic with an
inane smile which occupied all his face. " Good evening,"
he said, in a baronial drawl. " Miss Cayley, I gathah ? I
asked the skippah's leave to sit next yah. We ought to be
friends — rathah. I think yah know my poor deali old aunt,
Lady Georgina Fawley."
214
Miss Caylcy's Adventures
I bowed a somewhat freezing bow. " Lady Georgina is
one cf my dearest friends," I answered.
" No, reahliy ? Poor deah old Georgey ! Got somebody
to stick up for her at last, has she ? Now that 's what I call
chivalrous of yah. Magnanimous, is n't it? I like to see
people stick up for their friends. And it must be a novelty
for George3\ For between you and me, a moah cantanker-
^^^6r>
ckr'^i
HE TURNED TO ME Wmt AN INANE SMILE.
ous, spiteful, acidulated, old cough-drop than the poor deah
soul it 'ud be difficult to hit upon."
" Lady Georgina has brains," I answered ; " and they
enable her to recognise a fool when she sees him. I will
admit that she does not suffer fools gladly."
He turned to me with a sudden sharp look in the depths
of the lack-lustre eyes. Already it began to strike me that,
though the pea-green young man was inane, he had his due
proportion of a certain in.sidious practical cunning. " That 's
true," he answered, measuring me. " And according to her,
almost everybody 's a fool — especially her relations. There 's
The Pea-Green Patrician 215
a fine knack of sweeping generalisation about deah, skinny
old Georgey. The few people she reahlly likes are all arch-
angels ; the rest are blithering idiots ; there 's no middle
course with her."
I held my peace frigidly.
" She thinks me a very special and peculiah fool," he
went on, crumbling his bread.
" Lady Georgina," I answered, "is a person of excep-
tional discrimination. I would almost always accept her
judgment on anyone as practically final."
He laid down his soup-spoon, fondled the imperceptible
moustache with his tapering fingers, and then broke once
more into a cheerful expanse of smile which reminded me
of nothing so much as of the village idiot. It spread over
his face as the splash from a stone spreads over a millpond.
" Now that 's a nice, cheerful sort of thing to say to a fellah,"
he ejaculated, fixing his eye-glass in his eye, with a few
fierce contortions of his facial muscles. " That 's encourag-
ing, don't yah know, as the foundation of an acquaintance.
Makes a good cornah-stone. Calculated to place things at
once upon what yah call a friendly basis. Georgey said you
had a pretty wit ; I see now why she admiahed it. Birds of
a feathah : very wise old proverb."
I reflected that, after all, this young man had nothijig
overt against him, beyond a fishy blue eye and an inane ex-
pression ; so, feeling that I had perhaps gone a little too far,
I continued, after a minute, " And your uncle, how is
he?"
" Manny ? " he enquired, with another elephantine smile ;
and then I perceived it was a form of humour with him (or
rather a cheap substitute) to speak of his elder relations by
2i6 Miss Cayley's Adventures
their abbreviated Christian names, without any prefix.
" Marmy 's doing very well, thank yah ; as well as could be
expected. In fact, bettah. Habakkuk on the brain ; it 's
carrying him off at last. He has Bright's disease very bad —
drank port, don't yah know — and won't trouble this wicked
world much longah with his presence. It will be a happy
release — especially for his nephews."
I was really grieved, for I had grown to like the Urbane Old
Gentleman, as I had grown to like the Cantankerous Old I/ady.
In spite of his fussiness and his Stock Exchange views on
the interpretation of Scripture, his genuine kindliness and
his real liking for me had softened my heart to him ; and my
face must have shown my distress, for the pea-green young
man added quickly with an afterthought : " But j'Oit need n't
be afraid, yah know. It 's all right for Harold Tillington.
You ought to know that as well as anyone — and bettah ; for
it was you who drew up his will for him at Florence."
I flushed crimson, I believe. Then he knew all about me !
" I was not asking on Mr. Tillington' s account," I answered.
' ' I asked because I have a personal feeling of friendship for
your uncle, Mr. Ashurst."
His hand strayed up to the straggling yellow hairs on his
upper lip once more, and he smiled again, this time with a
curious undercurrent of foolish craftiness. " That 's a good
one," he answered. " Georgey told me you were original.
Marmy 's a millionaire, and many people love millionaires
for their money. But to love Marmy for himself — I do call
that originality ! Why, weight for age, he 's acknowledged
to be the most portentous old boah in London society ! "
" I like Mr. Ashurst because he has a kind heart and some
genuine instincts," I answered. " He has not allowed all
The Pea-Green Patrician 217
human feeling to be replaced by a cheap mask of Pall Mall
cynicism."
" Oh, I say; how 's that for preaching ? Don't you man-
age to give it hot to a fellah, neithah! And at sight, too,
without the usual three days of grace. Have some of my
champagne ? I 'm a forgiving creachah."
" No, thank you. I prefer this hock."
** Your friend, then ? " And he motioned the steward to
pass the bottle.
To my great disgust, Elsie held out her glass. I was
annoyed at that. It showed she had missed the drift of our
conversation, and was therefore lacking in feminine intuition,
I should be sorry if I had allowed the higher mathematics
to kill out in me the most distinctively womanly faculty.
From that first day forth, however, in spite of this begin-
ning, Lord Southminster almost persecuted me with his per-
sistent attentions. He did all a man could possibly do to
please me. I could not make out precisely what he was
driving at ; but I saw he had some artful game of his own
to play, and that he was playing it subtly. I also saw that,
vapid as he was, his vapidity did not prevent him from being
worldly wise with the wisdom of the self-seeking man of the
world, who utterly distrusts and disbelieves in all the higher
emotions of humanity. He harped so often on this string
that on our second day out, as we lolled on deck in the heat,
I had to rebuke him sharply. He had been sneering for
some hours. " There are two kinds of silly simplicity, Lord
Southminster," I said, at last. " One kind is the silly
simplicity of the rustic who trusts everybody ; the other
kind is the silly simplicity of the Pall Mall clubman who
trusts nobody. It is just as foolish and just as one-sided to
2i8 Miss Cayley's Adventures
overlook the good as to overlook the evil in humanity. If
you trust everyone, you are likely to be taken in ; but if you
trust no one, you put yourself at a serious practical disad-
vantage, besides losing half the joy of living."
" Then you think me a fool, like Georgey ? " he broke
out.
" I should never be rude enough to say so," I answered,
fanning myself.
" Well, you 're what I call a first-rate companion for a
voyage down the Red Sea," he put in, gazing abstractedly
at the awnings. " Such a lovely, freezing mixture ! A
fellah does n't need ices when you 're on tap. I recommend
you as a refrigeratah."
" I am glad," I answered demurely, " if I have secured
your approbation in that humble capacity. I am sure I have
tried hard for it."
Yet nothing that I could say seemed to put the man down.
In spite of rebuffs, he was assiduous in running down the
companion-ladder for my parasol or my smelling-bottle ; he
fetched me chairs ; he stayed me with cushions ; he offered
to lend me books ; he pestered me to drink his wine ; and he
kept Elsie in champagne, which she annoyed me by accept-
ing. Poor dear Elsie clearly failed to understand the crea-
ture. " He 's so kind and polite, Brownie, is n't he ? " she
would observe in her simple fashion. " Do you know, I
think he 's taken quite a fancy to you ! And he '11 be an
earl by-and-by. I call it romantic. How lovely it would
seem, dear, to see you a countess ! "
" Elsie," I said, .severely, with one hand on her arm,
" you are a dear little soul, and I am very fond of you ; but
if you think I could sell myself for a coronet to a pasty-faced
The Pea-Green Patrician
219
young man with a pea-green complexion and glassy blue
eyes — I can only say, my child, you have misread my char-
acter. He is n't a man ; he 's a lump of putty ! "
I think Rlsie was quite shocked that I should apply these
terms to a courtesy lord, the eldest son of a peer. Nature
NOTHIN') SF.F.MF.P TO VVT THE
MAN DOWN.
had endowed her with the profound British belief that peers
should be spoken of in choice and peculiar language. " If a
peer 's a fool," Lady Georgina said once to me, *' people
think you should say his temperament does not fit him for
the conduct of affairs ; if he 's a rou6 or a drunkard, they
think you should say he has unfortunate weaknesses."
What most of all convinced me, however, that the wishy-
washy young man with the pea-green complexion must be
220 Miss Cayley's Adventures
playing some stealthy game, was the demeanour and mental
attitude of Mr. Higginson, his courier. After the first day,
Higginson appeared to be politeness and deference itself to
us. He behaved to us both, almost as if we belonged to the
titled classes. He treated us with the second best of his
twenty-seven graduated manners. He fetched and carried
for us with a courtly grace which recalled that distinguished
diplomat, the Comte de Laroche-sur-Loiret, at the station at
Malines with Lady Georgina. It is true, at his politest
moments, I often caught the undercurrent of a wicked
twinkle in his eye, and felt sure he was doing it all with
some profound motiv^e. But his external demeanour was
everything that one could desire from a well-trained man-
servant ; I could hardly believe it was the same man who
had growled to me at Florence, " I shall be even with yow
yet," as he left our office.
" Do you know, Brownie," Elsie mused once, " I really
begin to think we must have misjudged Higginson. He 's
so extremely polite. Perhaps, after all, he is really a count,
who has been exiled and impoverished for his political
opinions."
I smiled, and held my tongue. Silence costs nothing.
But Mr. Higginson's political opinions, I felt sure, were of
that simple communistic sort which the law in its blunt way
calls fraudulent. They consisted in a belief that all was his
which he could lay his hands on.
" Higginson 's a splendid fellow for his place, yah know.
Miss Cayley," Lord Southminster said to me one ev^ening as
we were approaching Aden. " What I like about him is,
he 's so doosid intelligent."
" Extremely so," I answered. Then the devil entered
The Pea-Green Patrician 221
into me again. " He had the doosid intelligence even to
take in Lady Georgina."
" Yaas ; that 's just it, don't you know. . Georgey told
me that story. Screamingly funny, was n't it ? And I said
to myself at once, ' Higginson 's the man for me. I want a
courier with jolly lots of brains and no blooming scruples.
I '11 entice this chap away from Marmy.' And I did. I
outbid Marmy. Oh, yaas, he 's a first-rate fellah, Higgin-
son. What / want is a man who will do what he 's told,
and ask no beastly unpleasant questions. Higginson is that
man. He 's as sharp as a ferret."
" And as dishonest as they make them."
He opened his hands with a gesture of unconcern. " All
the bettah for my purpose. See how frank I am, Miss
Cayley. I tell the truth. The truth is very rare. You
ought to respect me for it."
" It depends somewhat upon the kind of truth," I an-
swered, with a random shot. " I don't respect a man, for
instance, for confessing to a forgery."
He winced. Not for months after did I know how a stone
thrown at a venture had chanced to hit the spot, and had
vastly enhanced his opinion of my cleverness.
" You have heard about Dr. Fortescue-Langley too, I
suppose ? " I went on.
" Oh, yaas. Was n't it real jam ? He did the doctor-
trick on a lady in Switzerland. And the way he has come
it ovah deah, simple, old Marmy ! He played Marmy with
Ezekiel ! Not so dusty, was it ? He 's too lovely for any-
thing ! "
" He 's an edged tool," I said.
** Yaas ; that 's why I use him."
k
222 Miss Cciylcy's Adventures
" And edged tools may cut the user's fingers."
" Not mine," he answered, taking out a cigarette. " Oh
deah no. He can't turn against inc. He would n't dare to.
Yah see, I have the fellah entirely in my powah. I know
all his little games, and I can expose him any da}-. But it
suits me to keep him. I don't mind telling yah, since I re-
spect your intellect, that he and I are engaged in pulling off
a big coup togethah. If it were not for that, I would n't be
heah. Yah don't catch me going away so fall from New-
market and the Empire for nothing."
" I judged as much," I answered. And then I was silent.
But I wondered to myself why the neutral-tinUd young
man should be so communicative to an obviously hostile
stranger.
For the next few days it amused me to see how hard our
lordling tried to suit his conversation to myself and Elsie.
He was absurdly anxious to humour us. Just at first, it is
true, he had discussed the subjects that la}- nearest to his
own heart. He was an ardent votary of the noble quad-
ruped ; and he loved the turf — whose sward, we judged, he
trod mainly at Tattersall's. He spoke to us with erudition
on " two-year-old form," and gave us several " safe things "
for the spring handicaps. The Oaks he considered " a
moral " for Clorinda. He also retailed certain choice anec-
dotes about ladies whose Christian names were chiefly Tottie
and Flo, and whose honoured surnames have escaped my
memory. Most of them flourished, I recollect, at the
Frivolity Music Hall. But when he learned that our inter-
est in the noble quadruped was scarcely more than tepid,
and that we had never even visited " the Friv.," as he
affectionately called it, he did his best in turn to acquire our
ai
<
Z
o
<
in
O
C/)
O
o
o
u
X
o
H
<;
o
V.
o
Q
a
CO
224 Miss Cayley's Adventures
subjects. He had heard us talk about Florence, for example,
and he gathered from our talk that we loved its art treasures.
So he set himself to work to be studiously artistic. It was a
beautiful study in human ineptitude. " Ah, yaas," he mur-
mured, turning up the pale blue eyes ecstatically towards
the mast-head. " Chawming place, Florence ! I dote on
the pickchahs. I know them all by heart. I assuah yah,
I 've spent houahs and houahs feeding my soul in the
galleries."
" And what particular painter does your soul most feed
upon ? " I asked bluntly, with a smile.
The question staggered him. I could see him hunting
through the vacanit chambers of his brain for a Florentine
painter. Then a faint light gleamed in the leaden eyes, and
he fingered the straw-coloured moustache with that nervous
hand till he almost put a visible point upon it. " Ah,
Raphael?" he said, tentatively, with an enquiring air, yet
beaming at his success. " Don't you think so? Splendid
artist, Raphael ! "
" And a very safe guess," I answered, leading him on.
" You can't go far wrong in mentioning Raphael, can you ?
But after him ? "
He dived into the recesses of his memory again, peered
about him for a minute or two, and brought back nothing.
" I can't remembah the othah fellahs' names," he went on ;
** they 're all so much alike ; all in clli, don't yah know ;
but I recollect at the time they impressed me awfully."
" No doubt," I answered.
He tried to look through me, and failed. Then he plunged,
like the noble sportsman that he was, on a second fetch of
memory. " Ah — and Michael Angelo," he went on, quite
The Pea-Green Patrician 225
proud of his treasure-trove. " Sweet things, Michael
Angelo's ! "
" Very sweet," I admitted. " So simple ; so touching ;
so tender ; so domestic ! "
I thought Elsie would explode ; but she kept her counte-
nance. The pea-green young man gazed at me uneasily. He
had half an idea by this time that I was making game of him.
However, he fished up a name once more, and clutched at
it. " Savonarola, too," he adventured. " I adore Savona-
rola. His pickchahs are beautiful."
" And so rare ! " Elsie murmured.
"Then there is Era Diavolo ? " I suggested, going one
better. " How do you like Fra Diavolo ? "
He seemed to have heard the name before, but still he
hesitated. "Ah — what did he paint?" he asked, with
growing caution.
I stuffed him valiantly. " Those charming angels, you
know," I answered. " With the roses and the glories I "
"Oh, yaas ; I recollect. All askew, are n't they? like
this ! I remembah them very well. But — " a doubt
flitted across his brain — " was n't his name Fra AngeHco ? "
" His brother," I replied, casting truth to the winds.
" They worked together, j'ou must have heard. One did
the saints ; the other did the opposite. Division of labour,
don't you see ; Fra Angelico, Fra Diavolo."
He fingered his cigarette with a dubious hand, and wrig-
gled his eye-glass tighter. " Yaas, beautiful ; beautiful !
But — " growing suspicious apace, — " was n't Fra Diavolo
also a composah ? ' '
" Of course," I assented. " In his off time, he composed.
Tho.se early Italians — so versatile, you see ; so versatile ! ' '
*5
226
Miss Cayley's Adventures
He had his doubts, Init he suppressed them.
" And Torricelli," I went on, with a side glance at Elsie,
who was choking by this time. ' ' And Chianti, and Frittura,
and Cinquevalli, and Giulio Romano."
His distrust increased. " Now you 're trying to make
me conmiit myself," he drawled out. " I remembah Torri-
" WAS N'r I'RA DIAVdI.O ALSO A COMI'OSAH?'
celli — he 's the fellah who used to paint all his women
crooked. But Chianfi 's a wine ; I 've often drunk it ; and
Romano's — well, ever}' fellah knows Romano's is a restau-
rant near the Gaiety Theatre."
" Besides," I contiiuied, in a drawl like his own, " there
are Risotto, and Gnocchi, and Vermicelli, and Anchovy —
all famous paintahs, and all of whom I don't doubt you
adniiah."
The Pea-Green Patrieian 227
Elsie exploded at last. Bu^ he took no offence. He
smiled inanely, as if he rather enjoyed it. " L,ook heah,
you know," he said, with his crafty smile ; " that 's one too
much. I 'm not taking any. You think yourselves very
clevah for kidding me with paintahs who are really macaroni
and cheese and claret ; yet if I were to tell you the Lejah was
run at Ascot, or the Cesarewitch at Doncnstah, why, you 'd
be no wisah. When it comes to art, I don't have a look in ;
but I could tell you a thing or two about starting prices."
And I was forced to admit that there he had reason.
Still, I think he realised that he had better avoid the sub-
ject of art in future, as we avoided the noble quadruped. He
saw his limitations.
Not till the last evening before we reached Bombay did I
really understand the nature of my neighbour's project.
That evening, as it chanced, Elsie had a headache and went
below early. I stopped with her till she dozed off ; then I
slipped up on deck once more for a breath of fresh air, before
retiring for the night to the hot and stuffy cabins. It was
an exquisite evening. The moon rode in the pale green sky
of the tropics. A strange light still lingered on the western
horizon. The stifling heat of the Red Sea had given way
long since to the refreshing coolness of the Indian Ocean. I
strolled a while on the quarter-deck, and sat down at last
near the stern. Next moment, I was aware of somebody
creeping up to me.
" Look heah. Miss Cayley," a voice broke in ; "I 'm in
luck at last ! I 've been waiting, oh, evah so long, for this
opportunity."
I turned and faced him. " Have you, indeed?" I an-
swered. " Well, I have not, Lord Southminstcr."
228 Miss Cayley's Adventures
I tried to rise, but he motioned me back to my chair.
There were ladies on deck, and to avoid being noticed I
sank into my seat again,
" I want to speak to you," he went on, in a voice that (for
him) was ahnost impressive. " Half a mo'. Miss Cayley. I
want to say — this last night — you misunderstand me."
" On the contrary," I answered, " the trouble is — that I
understand you perfectly."
" No, yah don't. Look heah." He bent forward quite
romantically. " I 'm going to be perfectly frank. Of course
yah know that when I came on board this ship I came — to
checkmate yah."
" Of course," I replied. " Why else should you and
Higginson have bothered to come here ? "
He rubbed his hands together. ' ' That 's just it. You 're
always clevah. You hit it first shot. But there 's wheah
the point comes in. At first, I only thought of how we
could circumvent yah. I treated yah as the enemy. Now,
it 's all the othah way. Miss Cayley, you 're the cleverest
woman I evali met in this world ; you extort my admira-
tion !"
I could not repress a smile. I did n't know how it was,
but I could see I possessed some mysterious attraction for the
Ashurst family. I was fatal to Ashursts. Lady Georginn,
Harold Tillington, the Honourable Marmaduke, Lord South-
minster— different types as they were — all succumbed to me
without one blow.
" You flatter me," I answered, coldly.
" No, I don't," he cried, flashing his cuffs and gazing
affectionately at his sleeve-links. " 'Pon my soul, I assuah
yah, I mean it. I can't tell you how much I admiah yah.
The Pea-Green Patrician 229
I admiah your intellect. Ever}^ day I have seen yah, I feel
it moali and moah. Why, you 're the only person who has
evah out-flanked my fellah, Higginson. As a rule I don't
think much of women. I 've been through several London
seasons, and lots of 'em have tried their level best to catch
me ; the cleverest mammas have been aftali me for their
Ethels. But I was n't so easily caught; I dodged the Ethels.
With you, it 's different. I feel " — he paused — " you 're a
woman a fellah might be really proud of."
" You are too kind," I answered, in my refrigerator voice.
" Well, will you take me ? " he asked, trying to seize my
hand. " Miss Cayley, if you will, you will make me un-
speakably happy."
It was a great effort for him — and I was sorrj^ to crush it.
" I regret," I said, " that I am compelled to deny you un-
speakable happiness."
" Oh, but you don't catch on. You mistake. Let me
explain. You 're backing the othah man. Now, I happen
to know about that, and I assuah you, it 's an error. Take
my word for it, you 're staking your money on the wrong
fellah."
" I do not understand you," I replied, drawing away from
his approach. " And what is more, I may add, you could
never understand me."
" Yaas, but I do. I understand perfectly. I can see
where you go wrong. You drew up Marmy's will ; and you
think Manny has left all he 's worth to Harold Tillington ;
so you 're putting every peiui}- you 've got on Harold.
Well, that 's mere moonshine. Harold may think it 's all
right ; but it 's not all right. There 's many a slip 'twixt
the cup and the Prol^ate Court. Listen heah, Miss Cayley ;
230
Miss Cayley's Adventures
Higginson and I are a jolly sight sharper than your friend
Harold. Harold 's what they call a clevah fellah in society,
and I 'm what they call a fool ; but I know bettah than
Harold which side of my bread 's buttahed."
TAKE MY WORD FOR IT, YOU Kli STAKING YOUR MONEY ON THE WRONG FELLAH.
" I don't doubt it," I answered.
" Well, I have managed this business. I don't mind tell-
ing you now, I had a telegram from Manny's valet when we
touched at Aden ; and poor old Manny 's sinking, Habak-
kuk 's been too much for him. Sixteen stone going under.
Why am I not with him ? yah may ask. Because, when a
d
The Pea-Green Patrician 231
man of Marmy's temperament is dying, it 's safah to be away
from him. There 's plenty of time for Marmy to altah his
will yet — and there are othah contingencies. Still, Harold 's
quite out of it. You take my word for it ; if you back Harold,
you back a man who 's not going to get anything ; while if
you back me, you back the winnah, with a coronet into the
bargain."
And he smiled fatuously.
I looked at him with a look that would have made a wiser
man wince. But it fell flat on Lord Southminster. " Do
you know why I do not rise and go down to my cabin at
once ? " I said, slowly. " Because, if I did, somebody as I
passed might see my burning cheeks — cheeks flushed with
shame at your insulting proposal — and might guess that you
had as^ed me, and that I had refused you. And I should
shrink from the disgrace of anyone's knowing that you had
put such a humiliation upon me. You have been frank with
me — after your kind, Lord Southminster ; frank with the
franknCvSS of a low and purely connnercial nature. I will be
frank with you in turn. You are right in supposing that I
love Harold Tillington — a man whose name I hate to mention
in your presence. But you are wrong in supposing that the
disposition of Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's money has or can
have anything to do with the feelings I entertain toward;:'
him. I woidd marry him all the sooner if he were poor anc
penniless. You cannot understand that state of mind, of
course ; but you must be content to accept it. And I would
not marry jjw< if there were no other man left in the world to
marry. I should as soon think of marrying a lump of
dough." I faced him all crimson. " Is that plain enough ?
Do you see now that I really mean it ? "
232 Miss Cayley's Adventures
He gazed at me with a curious look, and twiried what he
considered his moustache once more, quite airil}'. The man
was imperturbable — a pachydermatous imbecile. " You 're
all wrong, yah know," he said, after a long pause, during
which he had regarded me through his eye-glass as if I were
a specimen of some rare new species. " You 're all wrong,
and yah won't believe me. But I tell yah, I know what
I 'm talking about. You think it 's quite safe about Marmy's
money — that he 's left it to Harold — because you drew the
will up. I assuah you that will 's not worth the paper it 's
written on. You fancy Harold 's a hot favourite ; he 's a
rank outsidah. I give you a chance, and you won't take it.
I want yah because you 're a remarkable woman. Most of
the Ethels cry when they 're trying to make a fellah propose
to 'em ; and I don't like 'em damp ; but you have some go
about yah. You insist upon backing the wrong man. But
you '11 find your mistake out yet." A bright idea struck
him. "I say — why don't you hedge? Leave it open
till Manny 's gone, and then marry the winnah ? "
It was hopeless trying to make this clod understand. His
brain was not built with the right cells for understanding me.
" Lord Southminster," I said, turning upon him and clasping
my hands, ' ' I will not go away while you stop here. But
you have some spark enough of a gentleman in your composi-
tion, I hope, not to inflict your company any longer upon a
woman who does not desire it. I ask you to leave me here
alone. When you have gone, and I have had time to re-
cover from your degrading offer, I may perhaps feel able to
go down to my cabin."
He stared at me with open blue eyes — those watery blue
eyes. " Oh, just as you like," he answered. " I wanted to
'M
The Pea-Green Patrician 233
do you a good turn, because you 're the only woman I evah
reahlly admiahed — to say admiah, don't you know ; not trot-
ted round like the Ethels ; but you won't allow me. I '11 go
if you wish it ; though I tell you again, you 're backing the
wrong man, and soonah or latah you '11 discover it. I don't
mind laying you six to four against him. Howevah, I '11
do one thing for yah : I '11 leave this offah always open.
I 'm not likely to marry any othah woman — not good enough,
is it? — and if evah you. find out you 're mistaken about
Harold Tillington, remembah, honour bright, I shall be
ready at any time to renew my ofFah."
By this time, I was at boiling-point. I could not find
words to answer him. I waved him away angrily with one
hand. He raised his hat with quite a jaunty air and strolled
oif forward, puffing his cigarette, I don't think he even
knew the disgust with which he inspired me.
I sat some hours with the cool air playing about mj'^ burn-
ing cheeks before I mustered up courage to rise and go down
below again.
^M^
JKZSit
1^
i^^^
^^5^
k
%s%^
1^
^ft
^^■^^■P^k: ill
^^i
8
^^^
^^
^
^
5v\^
^ -^1,'<
-^S^
jfi^^^i^
\}
^^-l!^
CHAPTER IX
THE ADVENTURE OF THE MAGNIFICENT MAHARAJAH
OUR arrival at Bombay was a triumphal entry. We
were received like royalty. Indeed, to tell the
truth, Elsie and I were beginning to get just a little
bit spoiled. It struck us now that our casual connection
with the Ashurst family in its various branches had suc-
ceeded in saddling us, like the lady of Burleigh, " with the
burden of an honour unto which we were not born." We
were everywhere treated as persons of importance ; and, oh
dear, by dint of such treatment we began to feel at last
almost as if we had been raised in the purple. I felt that
when we got back to England we should turn up our noses
at plain bread and butter.
Yes, life has been kind to me. Have your researches into
English literature ever chanced to lead you into reading
Horace Walpole, I wonder ? That polite trifler is fond of a
word which he coitvd himself — ' ' serendipity. " It is derived
from the name oi ertain happy Indian Prince Serendip,
whom he unearthed (or invented) in some obscure Oriental
story ; a prince for whom the fairies or the genii always
managed to make everything pleasant. It implies the
faculty, which few of us possess, of finding whatever we
234
The Magnificent Maharajah 235
want turn up accidentally at the exact right moment. Well,
I believe I must have been born with serendipity in my
mouth, in place of the proverbial silver spoon, for, wherever
I go, all things seem to come out exactly right for me.
^ho. Jumna, for example, had hardly heaved to in Bombay
Harbour when we noticed on the quay a very distinguished-
looking Oriental potentate, in a large, white turban with a
particularly big diamond stuck ostentatiously in its front.
He stalked on board with a martial air, as soon as we
stopped, and made enquiries from our captain after someone
he expected. The captain received him with that odd mix-
ture of respect for rank and wealth, combined with true
British contempt for the inferior black man, which is uni-
versal among his class in their dealings with native Indian
nobility. The Oriental potentate, however, who was accom-
panied by a gorgeous suite like that of the Wise Men in Italian
pictures, seemed satisfied with his information, and moved
over with his stately glide in our direction. Elsie and I
were standing near the gangway among our rugs and bun-
dles, in the hopeless helplessness of disembarkation. He
approached us respectfull3% and, bowing with extended hands
and a deferential air, asked, in excellent English, " May I
venture to enquire which of you two ladies is Miss L,ois
Cayley?"
" /am," I replied, my breath taken away by this unex-
pected greeting. *' May I venture to enquire in return how
you came to know I was arriving by this steamer ? "
He held out his hand, with a courteous inclination. " I
am the Maharajah of Moozuffernuggar," he answered in
an impressive tone, as if everybody knew of the Maharajah
of Moozuffernuggar as familiarly as they knew of the Duke
236
Miss Cayley's Adventures
of Cambridge. " Moozuffernuggar in Rajputana — not the
one in the Doab. You must have heard my name from Mr.
Harold Tillington."
I had not ; but I dissembled, so as to salve his pride.
" Mr. Tillington's friends are i;«r friends, " I answered, sen-
tentiously.
I AM THE MAHARAJAH OF MOOZUFFERNUGGAR.
" And Mr. Tillington's friends are my friends," the
Maharajah retorted, with a low bow to Elsie. " This is no
doubt Miss Petheridge. I have heard of your expected
arrival, as you will guess, from Tillington. He and I were
at Oxford together ; I am a Merton man. It was Tillington
who first taught me all I know of cricket. He took me to
stop at his father's place in Dumfriesshire. I owe much to
his friendship ; and when he wrote me that friends of his
The Ma<j^nificcnt Maharajah ^^^-j
were arriving by \\\Qjnmua, why, I made haste to run down
to Bomba}' to greet them."
The episode was one of those topsy-turvy mixtures of all
places and ages which only this jum])led century of ours has
witnessed ; it impressed me deeply. Here was this Indian
prince, a feudal Rajput chief, living practically among his
vassals in the Middle Ages when at home in India ; yet he
said, " I am a Merton man," as Harold himself might have
said it ; and he talked about cricket as naturally as Lord
vSouthminster talked about the noble quadruped. The oddest
part of it all was, we alone felt the incongruity ; to the
Maharajah, the change from Moozuffernuggar to Oxford
and from Oxford back again to Moozuffernuggar seemed
perfectly natural. They were but two alternative phases in
a modern Indian gentleman's education and experience.
Still, what were we to do with him ? If Harold had pre-
sented me with a white elephant I could hardly have been
more embarrassed than I was at the apparition of this urbane
and magnificent Hindoo prince. He was young ; he was
handsome ; he was slim, for a rajah ; he wore European
costume, save for the huge white turban with its obtrusive
diamond ; and he spoke English much better than a great
many Englishmen. Yet what place could he fill in my life
and Elsie's? For once, I felt almost angry with Harold.
Why could n't he have allowed us to go quietly through
India, two simple unofficial journalistic pilgrims, in our
native obscurity ?
His Highness of Moozuffernuggar, however, had his own
views on this question. With a courteous wave of one dusky
hand, he motioned us gracefully into somebody else's deck-
chairs, and then sat down on another beside us, while the
238 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
gorgeous suite stood by in respectful silence — unctuous
gentlemen in pink-and-gold brocade — forming a court all
round us. Elsie and I, unaccustomed to be so observed,
grew conscious of our hands, our skirts, our postures. lUit
the Maharajah posed himself with perfect unconcern, like
one well used to the fierce light of royalty. " I have come,"
he said, with simple dignity, " to superintend the prepara-
tions for your reception."
"Gracious heavens!" I exclaimed. "Our reception,
Maharajah ? I think j'ou misunderstand. We are two
ordinary English ladies of the proletariat, accustomed to the
level plain of professional society. We expect no reception."
He bowed again, with stately Eastern deference. " Friends
of Tillington's," he said, shortly, " are persons of distinction.
Besides, I have heard of you from Lady Georgina Fawley."
" Lady Georgina is too good," I answered, though in-
wardly I raged against her. Why could n't she leave us
alone, to feed in peace on dak-bungalow chicken, instead of
sending this regal-mannered heathen to bother ps ?
" So I have come dow^n to Bombay to make sure that you
are met in the style that befits your importance in society,"
he went on, waving his suite away with one careless hand, for
he saw it fussed us. " I mentioned you to His Honour the
Acting-Governor, who had not heard you were coming. His
Honour's aide-de-camp will follow shortly with an invitation
to Government House while you remain in Bombay — which
will not be many days, I don't doubt, for there is nothing in
this city of plague to stop for. Later on, during your pro-
gress up country, I do myself the honour to hope that you
will stay as my guests for as long as you choose at Moo-
zufFernuggar."
The Magnificent Maharajah 239
My first impulse was to answer : " Impossible, Maharajah ;
we could n't dream of accepting your kind invitation." But
on second thoughts, I remembered my duty to my proprietor.
Journalism first ; inclination afterwards ! My letter from
Kgypt on the rescue of the English woman who escaped from
Khartoum had brought me great tWa/ as a special corre-
spondent, and the Daily Tclcp1i07ie now billed my name in
big letters on its placards, so Mr. Elworthy wrote me. Here
was another noble chance ; must I not strive to ri.se to it ?
Two English ladies at a native court in Rajputana ! — that
ought to afford .scope for .some rattling journalism !
"It is extremely kind of you," I said, hesitating, " and
it would give us great pleasure, were it feasible, to accept
your friendly offer. But — English ideas, you know. Prince !
Two unprotected women ! I hardly see how we could come
alone to Moozuffernuggar, iinchaperoned."
The Maharajah's face lighted up ; he was evidently flat-
tered that we should even thus dubiously entertain his pro-
posal. " Oh, I 've thought about that, too, " he an.swerecl,
growing more colloquial in tone. " I 've been some days in
Bombay, making enquiries and preparations. You see, you
had not informed the authorities ot your intended visit, so
that you were travelling incognito — or should it be incognita f
— and if Tillington had n't written to let me know your
movements, you might have arrived at this port without
anybody's knowing it, and have been compelled to take
refuge in an hotel on landing." He spoke as if we had
been accustomed all our lives long to be received with red
cloth by the Mayor and Corporation, and presented with
illuminated addresses and the freedom of the city in a gold
snuff-box. " But I have seen to all that. The Acting-
240 Miss Cayley's Adventures
Governor's aide-de-camp will be down before long, and I
have arranged that if you consent a little later to honour my
humble roof in Rajputana with your august presence, Major
Balmossie and his wife will accompany 3'ou and chaperon
you. I have lived in England ; of course I understand that
two English ladies of your rank and position cannot travel
alone — as if you were Americans. But Mrs. Balmossie is a
nice little soul, of unblemished character " — that sweet touch
charmed me — " received at Government House " — he had
learned the respect due to Mrs. Grundy — " so that if you
will accept my invitation, you may rest assured that every-
thing will be done v.'ith the utmost regard to the — the unac-
countable prejudices of Europeans."
His thoughtfulness took me aback. I thanked him
warmly. He unbent at my thanks. " And I am obliged to
you in return," he said. " It gives me real pleasure to be
able, through you, to repay Harold Tillington part of the
debt I owe him. He was so good to me at Oxford. Miss
Cayley, 3'OU are new to India, and therefore — as yet — no
doubt unprejudiced. You treat a native gentleman, I see,
like a human being. I hope you will not stop long enough
in our country to get over that stage — as happens to most
of your countrj-men and countrywomen. In England, a
man like myself is an Indian prince ; in India, to ninety-
nine out of a hundred Europeans, he is just 'a damned
nigger.' "
I smiled sympathetically. " I think," I said, venturing
under these circumstances on a harndess little .swear-word —
of course, in quotation marks — " you may trust me never to
reach ' damn-nigger' point."
"So I believe," he answered, "if you are a friend of
The Magnificent Maharajah 241
Harold Tillingtou's. Ebony or ivory, he never forgot we
were two men together."
Five minutes later, when the Maharajah had gone to en-
quire about our luggage, Lord Southminster strolled up.
"who's your black friknd?"
" Oh, I say. Miss Cay ley," he burst out, " I 'm off now ; ta-
ta ; but remembah, that offah 's always open. By the way,
who 's your black friend ? I could n't help laughing at the
airs the fellah gave himself. To see a niggah sitting theah,
with his suite all' round him, waving his hands and sunning
242 Miss Cayley's Adventures
his rings, and behaving for all the world as if he were a
gentleman ; it 's reahlly too ridiculous. Harold Tillington
picked up with a fellah like that at Oxford — doosid good
cricketer too ; wondah if this is the same one."
" Good-bye, Lord Southminster," I said, quietly, with a
stiff little bow. ' ' Remember, on your side, that your ' offer '
was rejected once for all last night. Yes, the Indian prince
i's Harold Tillington's friend, the Maharajah of Moozuffer-
nuggar — whose ancestors were princes while ours were
dressed in woad and oak-leaves. But you were right about
one thing ; /ie behaves — like a gentleman."
" Oh, I say," the pea-green young man ejaculated, draw-
ing back ; " that 's anothah in the eye for me. You 're a
good 'un at facers. You gav^e me one for a welcome, and
you give me one now for a parting shot. Nevah mind,
though, I can wait ; you 're backing the wrong fellah — but
you 're not the Ethels, and you 're well worth waiting for."
He waved his hand. " So-long ! See yah again in
London."
And he retired, with that fatuous smile still absorbing his
features.
Our three days in Bombay were uneventful ; we merely
waited to get rid of the roll of the ship, which continued to
haunt us for hours after we landed — the floor of our bed- ,
rooms having acquired an ugly trick of rising in long undu-
lations, as if Bombay were suffering from chronic earthquake.
We made the acquaintance of His Honour the Acting Gov-
ernor, and His Honour's consort. We were also introduced
to Mrs. Balmossie, the lady who was to chaperon us to Moo-
zAiffernuggar. Her husband was a soldierly Scotchman
The Magnificent Maharajah 243
from Forfarshire, but she herself was English — a flighty
little body with a perpetual giggle. She giggled so much
over the idea of the Maharajah's inviting us to his palace
that I wondered why on earth she accepted his invitation.
At this she seemed surprised. ' ' Why, it 's one of the jolliest
places in Rajputana," she answered, with a bland Simla
smile; ''so picturesque— he, he, he— and so delightful.
Simpkin flows like water— Simpkin 's baboo English for
champagne, you know— he, he, he ; and though of course
the Maharajah 's only a native like the rest of them— he, he,
he — still, he 's been educated at Oxford, and has mixed with
Europeans, and he knows how to make one — he, he, he —
well, thoroughly comfortable."
" But what shall we eat?" I asked. " Rice, ghee, and
chupatties ? ' '
" Oh dear no — he, he, he— Europe food, every bit of it.
Foie gras, and York ham, and wine ad lib. His hospitality 's
massive. If it were n't for that, of course, one would n't
dream of going there. But Archie hopes some day to be
made Resident, don't you know; and it will do him no harm
— he, he, he — with the Foreign Office, to have cultivated
friendly relations beforehand with His Highness of Moo-
zuffernuggar. These natives — he, he, he — so absurdly
sensitive ! ' '
For myself, the Maharajah interested me, and I rather
liked him. Besides, he was Harold's friend, and that was
in itself sufficient recommendation. So I determined to puj h
straight into the heart of native India first, and only after-
wards to do the regulation tourist round of Agra and Delhi,
the Taj and the mosques, Benares and Allahabad, leaving
the English and Calcutta for the tail-end of my journey.
244 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
It was better journalism. As I thought that thought, I
began to fear that Mr. El worthy was right after all, and that
I was a born journalist.
On the day fixed for our leaving Bombay, whom should I
meet but Lord Southminster — with the Maharajah — at the
railway station !
He lounged up to me with that eternal smile still vaguely
pervading his empty features. " Well, we shall have a jolly
party, I gathah," he said. " They tell me this niggah is
famous for his tigahs."
I gazed at him, positively taken aback. " You don't
mean to tell me," I cried, " you actually propose to accept
the Maharajah's hospitality ? "
His smile absorbed him. " Yaas," he answered, twirling
his yellow moustache, and gazing across at the unconscious
prince, who was engaged in overlooking the arrangements
for our saloon carriage. " The black fellah discovahed I
was a cousin of Harold's, so he came to call upon me at the
club, of which some Johnnies heali made me an honorary
niembah. He 's ofFahed me the run of his place while I 'm
in Indiah, and, of course, I 've accepted. Eccentric sort of
chap; can't make him out myself; says anyone connected
with Harold Tillington is always deah to him. Rum start,
is n't it?"
" He is a mere Oriental," I answered, " unused to the
ways of civilised life. He cherishes the superannuated virtue
of gratitude."
" Yaas ; no doubt — so I 'm coming along with you."
I drew back, horrified. "Now? While I am there?
After what I told you last week on the steamer ? "
" Oh. that 's all right. I bear yah no malice. If I want
( (
< (
The Magnificent Maharajah 245
any fun, of course I must go while you 're at Moozuffer-
nuggar."
Why so?"
Yah see, this black boundah means to get up some big
things at his place in your honah ; and one naturally goes to
stop with anyone who has big things to offah. Hang it all,
what does it mattah who a fellah is if he can give yah good
shooting ? It 's shooting, don't yah know, that keeps society
in England togethah ! "
" And therefore you propose to stop in the same house
with me," I exclaimed, " in spite of what I have told you !
Well, Lord Southminster, I should have thought there were
limits which evenjw^r taste "
He cut me short with an inane grin. " There you make
your blooming little erraw," he answered airily. " I told
yah, I keep my offah still open ; and, hang it all, I don't
mean to lose sight of yah in a hurry. Some other fellah
might come along and pick you up when I was n't looking ;
and I don't want to miss yah. In point of fact, I don't mind
telling yah, I back myself still for a couple of thou' soonah
or latah to marry yah. It 's dogged as does it ; faint heart,
they say, nevah won fair lady ! "
If it had not been that I could not bear to disappoint my
Indian prince, I think, when I heard this, I should have
turned back then and there at the station.
The journey up country was uneventful, but dusty. The
Mofussil appears to consist mainly of dust ; indeed, I can
now recall nothing of it but one pervading white cloud,
which has blotted from my memory all its other components.
The dust clung to my hair after many wa.shings, and was
nev^er really beaten out of my travelling clothes ; I believe
246 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
part of it thus went round the world with me to England.
When at last we reached Moozuffernuggar, after two days'
and a night's hard travelling, we were met by a crowd of
local grandees, who looked as if they had spent the greater
part of their lives in brushing back their whiskers, and we
drove up at once, in European carriages, to the Maharajah's
palace. The look of it astonished me. It was a strange and
rambling old Hindoo hill-fort, high perched on a scarped
crag, like Edinburgh Castle, and accessible only on one side,
up a gigantic staircase, guarded on either hand by huge
sculptured elephants cut in the living sandstone. Below
clustered the town, an intricate mass of tangled alleys. I
had never seen anything so picturesque or so dirty in my
life ; as for Elsie, she was divided between admiration for
its beaut}' and terror at the big-whiskered and white-turbaned
attendants.
" What sort of rooms shall we have ? " I whispered to our
moral guarantee, Mrs. Balmossie.
" Oh, beautiful, dear," the little lady smirked back.
" Furnished throughout — he, he, he — by Liberty. The
Maharajah wants to do honour to his European guests — he,
he, he — he fancies, poor man, he 's quite European. That 's
what comes of sending these creatures to Oxford ! So he 's
had suites of rooms furnished for any white visitors who may
chance to come his way. Ridiculous, is n't it ? A7id cham-
pagne— oh, gallons of it ! He 's quite proud of his rooms —
he, he, he — he 's always asking people to come and occup3'
them ; he thinks he 's done them up in the best style of
decoration."
He had reason, for they were as tasteful as they were
dainty and comfortable. And I could not for the life of me
The Magnificent Maharajah 247
make out why his hospitable indinatioii should be voted
" ridiculous." But Mrs. Balniossie appeared to find all
natives alike a huge joke together. She never even spoke
of them without a condescending smile of distant compassion.
Indeed, most Anglo-Indians seem first to do their best to
Anglicise the Hindoo, and then to laugh at him for aping
the Englishman.
After we had been three days at the palace and had spent
hours in the wonderful temples and ruins, the Maharajah
announced with considerable pride at breakfast one morning
that he had got up a tiger hunt in our special honour.
lyord Southminster rubbed his hands,
" Ha, that 's right, Maharaj," he said, briskly. " I do
love big game. To tell yah the truth, old man, that 's just
what I came heah for. ' '
*' You do me too much honour," the Hindoo answered,
with quiet sarcasm. " My town and palace may have little
to offer that is worth your attention ; but I am glad that
my big game, at least, has been lucky enough to attract
you."
The remark was thrown away on the pea-green young
man. He had described his host to me as "a black
boundah." Out of his own mouth I condemned him — he
supplied the very word — he was himself nothing more than a
born bounder.
During the next few days, the preparations for the tiger
hunt occupied all the Maharajah's energies. " You know.
Miss Cayley," he said to me, as we stood upon the big stairs,
looking down on the Hindoo city, " a tiger hunt is not a
thing to be got up lightly. Our people themselves don't
like killing a tiger. They reverence it too much. They 're
248 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
afraid its spirit might haunt them afterwards and bring them
bad luck. That 's one of our superstitions."
" You do not share it yourself, then ? " I asked.
He drew himself up and opened his palms, with a twink-
ling of pendent emeralds, " I am royal," he answered, with
naive dignity, " and the tiger is a royal beast. Kings know
the ways of kings. If a king kills what is kingly, it owes
him no grudge for it. But if a common man or a low-caste
man were to kill a tiger — who can say what might happen ? ' '
I saw he was not himself quite free from the supersti-
tion.
" Our peasants," he went on, fixing me with his great
black eyes, " won't even mention the tiger by name, for fear
of offending him ; they believe him to be the dwelling-place
of a powerful spirit. If they wish to speak of him, they say
* the great beast,' or ' my lord, the striped one.' Some
think the spirit is immortal, except at the hands of a king.
But they have no objection to see him destroyed by others.
They will even point out his whereabouts, and rejoice over
his death ; for it relieves the village of a serious enemy, and
they believe the spirit will only haunt the huts of those who
actually kill him."
" Then you know where each tiger lives ? " I asked.
" As well as your gamekeepers in England know which
covert may be drawn for foxes. Yes ; 't is a royal sport, and
we keep it for maharajahs. I myself never hunt a tiger till
some European visitor of distinction comes to Moozufifer-
nuggar, that I may show him good sport. This tiger we
shall hunt to-morrow, for example, he is a bad old hand.
He has carried off the buffaloes of my villagers over yonder
for years and years, and of late he has also become a man-
>
D
i-,
b
■J
o
Ed
O
CI
250 Miss Cayley's Adventures
eater. He once ate a whole family at a meal — a man, his
wife, and his three children. The people at Janwargurh
have been pestering me for weeks to come and shoot him ;
and each week he has eaten somebody — a child or a woman ;
the last was yesterday — but I waited till you came, because
I thought it would be something to show you that you would
not be likely to see elsewhere."
" And you let the poor people go on being eaten, that we
might enjoy this sport ! " I cried.
He shrugged his shoulders, and opened his palms. * ' They
were villagers, you know — ryots : mere tillers of the soil —
poor naked peasants. I have thousands of them to spare.
If a tiger eats ten of them, they only say, * It was written
upon their foreheads.' One woman more or less — who
would notice her at MoozufFernuggar ? ' '
Then I perceived that the Maharajah was a gentleman,
but still a barbarian.
The eventful morning arrived at last, and we started, all
agog, for the jungle where the tiger was known to live.
Elsie excused herself. She remarked to me the night be-
fore, as I brushed her back hair for her, that she had " half
a mind" not to go. " My dear," I answered, giving the
brush a good dash, "for a higher mathematician, that
phrase lacks accuracy. If you were to say ' seven-eighths
of a mind ' it would be nearer the mark. In point of fact,
if you ask my opinion, your inclination to go is a vanishing
quantity."
She admitted the impeachment with an accusing blush.
" You 're quite right, Brownie ; to tell you the truth, I 'm
afraid of it."
"So am I, dear; horribly afraid. Between ourselves,
The Mai^nificent Maharajah 251
I 'm in a deadly funk of it. But ' the brave man is not he
that feels no fear ' ; and I believe the same principle applies
almost equally to the brave woman. I mean ' that fear to
subdue ' as far as I am able. The Maharajah says I shall
be the first girl who has ever gone tiger hunting. I 'm
frightened out of my life. I never held a gun in my born
days. But, Elsie, recollect, this is splendid journalism! I
intend to go through with it."
" You offer yourself on the altar, Brownie."
" I do, dear ; I propose to die in the cause. I expect my
proprietor to carve on my tomb, ' Sacred to the memory of
the martyr of journalism. She was killed, in the act of
taking shorthand notes, by a Bengal tiger.' "
We started at early dawn, a motley mixture. My short
bicycling skirt did beautifully for tiger hunting. There was
a vast company of native swells, nawabs and ranas, in gor-
geous costumes, whose preci.se names and titles I do not
pretend to remember; there were also Major Balmossie, Lord
Southminster, the Maharajah, and myself — all mounted on
gaily caparisoned elephants. We had likewise, on foot, a
miserable crowd of wretched beaters, with dirty white loin-
cloths. We were all very brav^e, of course — demonstra-
tively brave — and we talked a great deal at the start about
the exhilaration given by " the spice of danger." But it
somehow struck me that the poor beaters on foot had the
majority of the danger and extremely little of the ex-
hilaration. Each of us great folk was mounted on his
own elephant, which carried a light basket-work howdah in
two compartments : the front one intended for the noble
sportsman, the back one for a servant with extra guns and
ammunition. I pretended to like it, but I fear I trembled
252 Miss Cayley's Adventures
visibly. Our mahouts sat on the elephants' necks, each
armed with a pointed goad, to whose admonition the huge
beasts answered like clockwork. A born journalist always
pretends to know everything beforehand, .so I speak care-
lessly of the " mahout," as if he were a familiar acquaint-
ance. But I don't mind telling you aside, in confidence,
that I had only just learnt the word that morning.
The Maharajah protested at first against my taking part
in the actual hunt, but I think his protest was merely formal.
In his heart of hearts I believe he was proud that the first
lady tiger hunter should have joined his party.
Dusty and shadeless, the road from Moozuffernuggar fares
straight across the plain towards the crumbling mountains.
Behind, in the heat mist, the castle and palace on their
steeply scarped crag, with the squalid town that clustered at
their feet, reminded me once more most strangely of Edin-
burgh, where I used to spend my vacations from Girton.
But the pitiless sun differed greatly from the grey haar of the
northern metropolis. It warmed into intense white the little
temples of the wayside, and beat on our heads with tropical
garishness.
I am bound to admit also that tiger hunting is not quite
all it is cracked up to be. In my fancy I had pictured the
gallant and bloodthirsty bea.st rushing out upon us full pelt
from some grass-grown nullah at the first sniff of our presence,
and fiercely attacking both men and elephants. Instead of
that, I will confess the whole truth : frightened as at least
one of us was of the tiger, the tiger was still more desperately
frightened of his human assailants. I could see clearly that,
so far from rushing out of his own accord to attack us, his one
desire was to be let alone. He was horribly afraid ; he
The Magnificent Maharajah 253
skulked in the jungle like a wary old fox in a trusty spinney.
There was no nullah (whatever a nullah may be), there was
only a waste of dusty cane-brake. We encircled the tall
grass patch where he lurked, forming a big round with a
ring-fence of elephants. The beaters on foot, advancing,
half naked, with a caution with which I could fully sym-
pathise, endeavoured l)y loud shouts and gesticulations to
rouse the royal beast to a sense of his position. Not a bit of
it ; the royal beast declined to be drawn ; he preferred retire-
ment. The Maharajah, whose elephant was stationed next
to mine, even apologised for the resolute cowardice with
which he clung to his ignoble lurking-place.
The beaters drew in ; the elephants, raising their trunks
in air and sniffing suspicion, moved slowly inward. We had
girt him round now with a perfect ring, through which he
could not possiljly break without attacking somebody. The
Maharajah kept a fixed eye on my personal safety. But still
the royal animal crouched and skulked, and still the black
beaters shrieked, howled, and gesticnlated. At last, among
the tall perpendicular lights and shadows of the big grasses
and bamboos, I seemed to see something move — something
striped like the stems, yet passing slowly, slowly, slowly
between them. It moved in a stealthy undulating line. No
one could believe till he saw it how the bright flame-coloured
bands of vivid orange-yellow on the monster's flanks, and
the interspersed black stripes, could fade away and har-
monise, in their native surroundings, with the lights and
shades of the upright jungle. It was a marvel of mimicry.
" Look there ! " I cried to the Maharajah, pointing one
eager hand. " What is that thing there, moving ? "
He stared where I pointed. " By Jove," he cried, raising
254 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
his rifle with a sportsman's quickness, " you have spotted
him first ! The tiger ! "
The terrified beast stole slowly and cautiously through
the tall grasses, his lithe, silken side gliding in and out snake-
wise, and only his fierce eyes burning bright with gleaming
flashes between the gloom of the jungle. Once I had seen
him, I could follow with ease his siiuious path among the
tangled bamboos, a waving line of beauty in perpetual mo-
tion. The Maharajah followed him too, with his keen eyes,
and pointed his rifle hastily. But, quick as he was. Lord
Southminster was before him. I had half expected to find
the pea-green young man turn coward at the last moment ;
but in that I was mistaken : I will do him the justice to say,
whatever else he was, he was a born sportsman. The gleam
of joy in his leaden eye when he caught sight of the tiger,
the flush of excitement on his pasty face, the eagerness of
his alert attitude, were things to see and remember. That
moment almost ennobled him. In sight of danger, the best
instincts of the savage seemed to revive within him. In
civilised life he was a poor creature ; face to face with a wild
beast he became a mighty shikari. Perhaps that was why
he was so fond of big-game shooting. He may have felt it
raised him in the scale of being.
He lifted his rifle and fired. He was a cool shot, and he
wounded the beast upon its left shoulder. I could see the
great crimson stream gush out all at once across the shapely
sides, staining the flame-coloured stripes and reddening the
black shadows. The tiger drew back, gave a low, fierce
growl, and then crouched among the jungle. I saw he was
going to leap ; he bent his huge backbone into a strong
downward curve, took in a deep breath, and stood at bay,
The Magnificent Maharajah 255
glaring at us. Which elephant would he attack ? That
was what he was now debating. Next moment, with a
frightful R'-r'-r'-r', he had straightened out his muscles,
and, like a bolt from a bow, had launched his huge bulk
forward.
I never saw his charge. I never knew he had leapt upon
me. I only felt my elephant rock from side to side like a
ship in a storm. He was trumpeting, shaking, roaring with
rage and pain, for the tiger was on his flanks, its claws
buried deep in the skin of his forehead. I could not keep
my seat ; I felt myself tossed about in the frail howdah like
a pill in a pill-box. The elephant, in a death grapple, was
trying to shake off his ghastly enemy. For a minute or two,
I was conscious of nothing save this swinging movement.
Then, opening my eyes for a second, I saw the tiger, in all
his terrible beauty, clinging to the elephant's head by the
claws of his forepaws, and struggling for a foothold on its
trunk with his mighty hind legs, in a wounded agony of
despair and vengeance. He would sell his life dear ; he
would have one or other of us.
Lord Southminster raised his rifle again ; but the Maha-
rajah shouted aloud in an angry voice : " Don't fire ! don't
fire ! You will kill the lady ! You can't aim at him like
that. The beast is rocking so that no one can say where a
shot will take effect. Down with your gun, sir, instantly ! "
My mahout, unable to keep his seat with the rocking, now
dropped off his cushion among the scrub below. He could
speak a few words of Englis'i. ' ' Shoot, Mem Sahib, shoot ! ' '
he cried, flinging his havids up. Buc I was tossed to and
fro, from side to side, with my rifle under my arm. It was
impo.s.sible to aim. Yet in sheer terror I tried to draw the
256
Miss Cayley's Adventures
trigger. I failed ; but somehow I caught my rifle agaiust
the side of my cage. Something snapped in it somewhere.
It went off unexpectedly, without my aiming or firing. I
IT WKNT OKK UNKXI'KCTKDI.Y.
shut my eyes. When I opened them again, I saw a swim-
ming picture of the great sullen beast, loosing his hold on
the elephant. I .saw his brindled face ; I saw his white
tusks. But his gleaming pupils burned bright no longer.
His jaw was full towards me ; I had shot him between the
The Magnificent Maharajah 257
eyes. He fell, slowly, with blood streaming from his nostrils,
and his tongue lolling out. His muscles relaxed ; his huge
limbs grew limp. In a minute, he lay stretched at full
length on the ground, with his head on one side, a grand,
terrible picture.
My mahout flung up his hands in wonder and amazement.
" My father ! " he cried aloud. " Truly, the Mem Sahib is
a great shikari ! "
The Maharajah stretched across to me. " That was a
wonderful shot ! " he exclaimed. " I could never have be-
lieved a woman could show such nerve and coolness."
Nerve and coolness, indeed ! I was trembling all over like
an Italian greyhound, every limb a jelly; and I had not even
fired ; the rifle went off" of itself without me. I am innocent
of having ever endangered the life of a haycock. But once
more I dissembled. "Yes, it zuas a difficult shot," I said
jauntily, as if I rather liked tiger hunting. ' ' I did n't think
I 'd hit him." Still the effect of my speech was somewhat
marred, I fear, by the tears that in spite of me rolled down
my cheek silently.
" 'Pon honah, I nevah saw a finah piece of shooting in my
life, ' ' Lord Southminster drawled out. Then he added aside,
in an undertone, " Makes a fellow moah determined to annex
her than evah ! "
I sat in my howdah, half dazed. I hardly heard what
they were saying. My heart danced like the elephant.
Then it stood still within me. I was only aware of a feeling
of faintness. Luckily for my reputation as a mighty sports-
woman, however, I just managed to keep up, and did not
actually faint, as I was more than half inclined to do.
Next followed the native piean. The beaters crowded
•7
25^ Miss Cayley's Adventures
round the fallen beast in a chorus of congratulation. Many
of the villagers also ran out, with prayers and ejaculations,
to swell our triumph. It was all like a dream. They
hustled round me and salaamed to me. A woman had shot
him ! Wonderful ! A babel of voices resounded in my
ears. I was aware that pure accident had elevated me into
a heroine.
" Put the beast on a pad elephant," the Maharajah called
out.
The beaters tied ropes round his body and raised him with
difficulty.
The Maharajah's face grew stern. " Where are the
whiskers?" he asked, fiercel)-, in his own tongue, which
Major Balmossie interpreted for me.
The beaters and the villagers, bowing low and expanding
their hands, made profuse expressions of ignorance and inno-
cence. But the fact was patent — the grand face had been
mangled. While they had crowded in a dense group round
the fallen carcass, somebody had cut off the lips and whiskers
and secreted them.
" They have ruined the skin ! " the Maharajah cried out
in angry tones. " I intended it for the lady. I shall have
them all searched, and the man who has done this thing "
He broke off, and looked around him. His silence was
more terrible by far than the fiercest threat. I saw him
now the Oriental despot. All the natives drew back, awe-
struck.
" The voice of a king is the voice of a great god," my
mahout murmured, in a solenui whisper. Then nobody else
said anything.
" Why do they want the whiskers ? " I asked, just to set
The Magnificent Maharajah 259
things straight again. " The}' seem to have been in a pre-
cious hurry to take them ! "
: ^AW UIM NOW TllK UKIKiNTAL DKSPOT.
The Maharajah's brow cleared. He turned to me once
more with his Kuropean manner. " A tiger's body has
26o Miss Caylcy's Adventures
wonderful power after his death," he answered. " His
fangs and his claws are very potent charms. His heart
gives courage. Whoever eats of it will never know fear.
His liver preserves against death and pestilence. But the
highest virtue of all exists in his whiskers. They are mighty
talismans. Chopped up in food, they act as a slow poison,
which no doctor can detect, no antidote guard against. Tlicy
are also a sovereign remedy against magic or the evil eye.
And administered to women, they make an irresistible
philtre, a puissant love-potion. They secure you the heart
of whoever drinks them."
" I 'd give a couple of monkeys for those whiskahs," Lord
Southminster murmured, half unnoticed.
We began to move again. " We '11 go on to where we
know there is another tiger," the Maharajah said, lightly,
as if tigers were partridges. " Miss Cayley, you will come
with us ? "
I rested on my laurels. (I was quivering still from head
to foot.) " No, thank you, Maharajah," as unconcernedly
as I could ; " I 've had quite enough sport for my first day's
tiger hunting. I think I '11 go back now, and write a new.s-
paper account of this little adventure."
" You have had luck," he put in. " Not everyone kills a
tiger his first day out. This will make good reading."
" I would n't have missed it for a hundred pounds," I an-
swered.
" Then try another."
" I would n't try another for a thousand," I cried fer-
vently.
That evening, at the palace, I was the heroine of the day.
They toasted me in a bumper of Heidsieck's dry monopole.
The Ma^niificcnt Maharajah 261
The men made speeches. Everybody talked gushingly of
my splendid courage and my steadiness of hand. It was a
brilliant shot, under such difficult circumstances. For my-
self, I said nothing. I pretended to look modest. I dared
not confess the truth — that I never fired at all. And from
IT S I WHO AM THE WINNAH.
that day to this I have nev^er confessed it, till I write it
down now in these confiding memoirs.
One episode cast a gloom over my ill-deserved triumph.
In the course of the evening, a telegram arrived for the pea-
green young man by a white-turbaned messenger. He read
it, and crumpled it up carelessly in his hand. I looked en-
262
Miss Cayley's Adventures
quiry. " Yaas," he answered, nodding. " You 're quite
right. It 's that ! Pooah old Marmy has gone, aftah all !
Ezekiel and Habakkuk have carried off his sixteen stone at
last ! And I don't mind telling yah now — though it was a
neah thing — it 's /who am the winnah ! "
CHAPTER X
THE ADVENTURE OP THE CROSS-EYED Q. C.
THK " cold weather," as it is humorously called, was
now drawing to a close, and the young ladies in
.sailor hats and cambric blouses, who flock to India
each autumn for the annual marriage-market, were begin-
ning to resign themselves to a return to England — unless,
of course, they had succeeded in " catching." So I realised
that I must hurry on to Delhi and Agra, if I were not to be
intercepted by the intolerable summer.
When we started from MooziifFer nuggar for Delhi and
the East, Lord Southminster was starting for Bombay and
Europe. This surprised me not a little, for he had confided
to my unsympathetic ear a few nights earlier, in the Maha-
rajah's billiard-room, that he was " stony broke," and must
wait at Moozuffernuggar for lack of funds " till the oof-bird
laid" at his banker's in England. His conversation en-
larged my vocabulary, at any rate.
" So you 've managed to get away ? " I exclaimed, as he
dawdled up to me at the hot and dusty station.
" Yaas," he drawled, fixing his eye-glass, and lighting a
cigarette. " I 've — p'f— managed to get away. Maharaj
seems to have thought — p'f— it would be cheapah in the end
to pay me out than to keep me."
263
264
Miss Caylcy's Adventures
" You don't mean to say he offered to lend you money ? "
I cried.
" No ; not exactly that : /offahed to borrow it."
''From the man
you call a ' niggah ' ? "
H i s smile spread
broader over his face
than ever. "Well,
we borrow from the
Jews, yah know," he
said pleasantly, " so
w h, y the j o o c e
should n't we borrow
from the heathen,
also ? Spoiling the
Egyptians, don't yah
see ? — the same as we
used to read about in
the Scripchah when
we were innocent kid-
dies. Like marriage,
quite. You borrow in
haste — and repay at
leisure."
He strolled off and
took his seat. I was
glad to get rid of him
at the main line junction.
In accordance with my usual merciful custom, I spare you
the details of our visit to Agra, Muttra, Benares. At Cal-
cutta Elsie left me. Her health was now quite restored,
HE WROTE, "I EXPECT YOU TO COME BACK
TO ENGLAND AND MARRY ME ! "
The Cross-Eycd O. C. 265
dear little soul — I felt I had done that one good thing in life,
if no other — and she could no longer withstand the higher
mathematics, which were beckoning her to London with in-
visible fingers. For myself, having so far accomplished my
original design of going round the world with twopence in
my pocket, I could not bear to draw back at half the circuit ;
and Mr. Elworthy having willingly consented to my return
by Singapore and Yokohama, I set out alone on my home-
ward journey.
Harold wrote me from London that all was going well.
He had found the will which I drew up at Florence in his
uncle's escritoire, and everything was left to him ; but he
trusted, in spite of this untoward circumstance, long absence
might have altered my determination.
" Dear Lois," he wrote, " I expect you to come back to
England and marry me ! "
I was brief, but categorical. Nothing, meanwhile, had
altered my resolve. I did not wish to be considered mer-
cenary. While he was rich and honoured, I could never
take him. If, some day, fortune frowned — but, there — let
us not forestall the feet of calamity; let us await con-
tingencies.
Still, I was heavy in heart. If only it had been other-
wise ! To say the truth, I should be thrown away on a
millionaire ; but just think what a splendid managing wife
a girl like me would have made for a penniless pauper !
At Yokohama, however, while I dawdled in curiosity
shops, a telegram from Harold startled me into seriousness.
My chance at last ! I knew what it meant ; that villain
Higginson !
" Come home at once. I want your evidence to clear my
266 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
character. Southminster opposes the will as a forgery. He
has a strong case ; the experts are with him."
Forgery ! That was clever. I never thought of that. I
suspected them of trying to forge a will of their own ; but
to upset the real one — to throw the burden of suspicion on
Harold's shoulders — how much subtler and craftier !
I saw at a glance it gave them every advantage. In the
first place, it put Harold virtually in the place of the ac-
cused, and compelled him to defend instead of attacking — an
attitude which prejudices people against one from the outset.
Then, again, it implied positive criminality on his part,
and so allowed Lord Southminster to assume the air of
injured innocence. The eldest son of the eldest brother,
unjustly set aside by the scheming machinations of an un-
scrupulous cousin ! Primogeniture, the ingrained Eng-
lish love for keeping up the dignity of a noble family, the
prejudice in favour of the direct male line as against the
female — all were astutely utilised in Lord Southminster's
interest. But worst of all, it was / who had typewritten
the will — I, a friend of Harold's, a woman whom Lord
Southminster would doubtless try to exhibit as his fiancSc.
I saw at once how much like conspiracy it looked : Harold
and I had agreed together to concoct a false document, and
Harold had forged his uncle's signature to it. Could a
British jury doubt when a Lord declared it ?
Fortunately, I was just in time to catch the Canadian
steamer from Japan to Vancouver. But, oh, the endless
breadth of that broad Pacific ! How time seemed to lag, as
each day one rose in the morning, in the midst of space ;
blue sky overhead ; behind one, the hard horizon ; in front
of one, the hard horizon ; and nothing else visible : then
The Cross-Eyed Q. C.
267
steamed on all day, to arrive at night, where ?— why, in the
midst of space ; starry sky overhead ; behind one, the dim
horizon ; in front of one, the dim horizon ; and nothing else
visible. The Nile was child's play to it.
IT WAS ENDLESSLY WEARISOME
Day after day we steamed, and night after night were still
where we began— in the centre of the sea, no farther from
our starting-point, no nearer to our goal, yet for ever steam-
ing. It was endlessly wearisome ; who could say what
might be happening meanwhile in England ?
At last, after months, as it seemed, of this slow torture.
268 Miss Cayley's Adventures
we reached Vancouver. There, in the raw, new town, a
telegram awaited me. " Glad to hear you are coming.
Make all haste. You may be just in time to arrive for the
trial."
Just in time! I would not waste a moment. I caught the
first train on the Canadian Pacific, and travelled straight
through, day and night, to Montreal and Quebec, without
one hour's interval.
I cannot describe to you that journey across a continent I
had never before seen. It was endless and hopeless. I only
know that we crawled up the Rocky Mountains and the
Selkirk Range, over spider-like viaducts, with interminable
effort, and that the prairies were just the broad Pacific over
again. They rolled on for ever. But we did reach Quebec —
in time we reached it ; and we caught by an hour the first
liner to Liverpool.
At Prince's Landing-stage another telegram awaited me.
" Come on at once. Case now proceeding. Harold is in
court. We need your evidence. — Gkorcina Fawi.Ey."
I might still be in time to vindicate Harold's character.
At Huston, to mj' surprise, I was met not only by my dear
Cantankerous Old Lady, but also by my friend, the magnifi-
cent Maharajah, dressed this time in a frock-coat and silk hat
of Bond Street glossiness.
*' What has brought you to England?" I asked, aston-
ished. "The Jubilee?"
He smiled, and showed his two fine rows of white teeth.
" That, nominally. In reality, the cricket season (I play
for Berks). But most of all, to see dear Tillington safe
through this trouble."
" He 's a brick ! " Lady Georgina cried with enthusiasm.
The Cross-Eycd Q. C. 269
" A regular brick, my dear Lois ! His carriage is waiting
outside to take you up to my house. He has stood by
Harold— well, like a Christian ! "
" Or a Hindoo," the Maharajah corrected, smiling.
" And how have you been all this time, dear Lady
Georgina ? " I asked, hardly daring to enquire about what
was nearest to my soul — Harold.
The Cantankerous Old Lady knitted her brows in a
familiar fashion. "Oh, my dear, don't ask: I haven't
known a happy hour since you left me in Switzerland.
Lois, I shall never be happy again without you ! It would
pay me to give you a retaining fee of a thousand a year —
honour bright, it would, I assure you. What I 've suffered
from the Gretchens since you 've been in the East has only
been equalled by what I ' ve suffered from the Mary Annes and
the Cdlestines. Not a hair left on my scalp ; not one hair,
I declare to you. They 've made my head into a tabula
rasa for the various restorers. George R. Sims and Mrs. S.
A. Allen are going to fight it out between them. My dear,
I wish yoH could take my maid's place ; I ' ve always said ' '
I finished the speech for her. " A lady can do better
whatever she turns her hand to than any of these hussies."
She nodded. ' ' And why ? Because her hands arc hands ;
while as for the Gretchens and the Mary Annes, * paws ' is
the only word one can honestly apply to them. Then, on
top of it all comes this trouble about Harold. So distress-
ing, is n't it ? You see, at the point which the matter has
reached, it 's simply impossible to save Harold's reputation
without wrecking Southminster's. Pretty position that for
a respectable family ! The Ashursts hitherto have been
quite respectable ; a co-respondent or two, perhaps, but never
270 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
anything serious. Now, either Southminster sends Harold
to prison, or Harold sends Southminster. There 's a nice
sort of dilemma ! I always knew Kynaston's boys were
born fools ; but to find they 're born knaves, too, is hard on
an old woman in her hairless dotage. However, you 'vc
come, my child, and j^« 7/ soon set things right. You 're
the one person on earth I can trust in this matter."
Harold go to prison ! My head reeled at the thought. I
staggered out into the open air, and took my seat mechani-
cally in the Maharajah's carriage. All London swam before
me. After so many months' absence, the polychromatic
decorations of our English streets, looming up through the
smoke, seemed both strange and familiar. I drove through
the first half-mile with a vague consciousness that Lipton's
tea is the perfection of cocoa and matchless for the com-
plexion, but that it dyes all colours, and won't wash
clothes.
After a while, however, I woke up to the full terror of the
situation. " Where are you taking me ? " I enquired.
" To my house, dear," Lady Georgina answered, looking
anxiously at me ; for my face was bloodless.
*' No, that won't do," I answered. " My cue must be
now to keep myself as aloof as possible from Harold and
Harold's backers. I must put up at an hotel. It will sound
so much better in cross-examination."
" She 's quite right," the Maharajah broke in, with sud-
den conviction. " One must block every ball with these
nasty swift bowlers,"
" Where 's Harold ? " I asked, after another pause.
" Why did n't he come to meet me ? "
" My dear, how could he ? He 's under examination. A
The Cross-llyed Q. C. 271
cross-eyed Q. C. with an odious leer. Southminster 's chosen
the biggest bully at the Bar to support his contention."
" Drive to some hotel in the Jenny n Street district," I cried
to the Maharajah's coachman. " That will be handy for the
law courts."
He touched his hat and turned. In a sort of dickey be-
hind sat two gorgeous, turbaned Rajput servants.
That evening Harold came round to visit me at my rooms.
I could see he was much agitated. Things had gone very
badly. Lady Georgina was there ; she had stopped to dine
with me, dear old thing, lest I .should feel lonely and give
way ; so had Elsie Petheridge. Mr. Elworthy sent a tele-
gram of welcome from Devonshire. I knew at least that my
friends were rallying round me in this hour of trial. The
kind Maharajah himself would have come too, if I had al-
lowed him, but I thought it inexpedient. They explained
everything to me. Harold had propounded Mr. Ashurst's
will — the one I drew up at Florence — and had asked for
probate. Lord Southminster intervened and opposed the
grant of probate on the ground that the signatures were
forgeries. He propounded instead another will, drawn
some twenty years earlier, when they were both children,
duly executed at the time, and undoubtedly genuine ; in it,
testator left everything without reserve to the eldest son of
his eldest brother. Lord Kynaston.
" Manny did n't know in those days that Kynaston' s sons
would all grow up fools," Lady Georgina said tartly. " Be-
sides which, that was before the poor dear soul took to
plunging on the Stock Exchange and made his money.
He had nothing to leave, then, but his best silk hat and
a few paltry hundreds. Afterwards, when he 'd feathered
1\, L _..L ■
2 72 Miss Cay ley's Adventures
his nest in soap and cocoa, he discovered that Bertie — that 's
Lord Southniinster — was a first-class idiot. Marmy never
liked Southniinster, nor Southniinster, Mami}-. For after
all, with all his faults, Mumij' tvas a gentleman ; while
Bertie — well, my dear, we need n't put a name to it. So he
altered his will, as you know, when he sav.^ the sort of man
Southniinster turned out, and left practically everything he
possessed to Harold."
" Who are the witnesses to the will ? " I asked.
•' There 's the trouble. Who do you think ? Why,
Higginson's sister, who was Manny's masseuse, and a waiter
— Franz Markheim — at the hotel at Florence, who 's dead,
they say — or, at least, not forthcoming."
" And Higginson's sister forswears her signature," Harold
added gloomily; " while the experts are, most of them, dead
against the genuineness of my uncle's."
" That 's clever," I said, leaning back, and taking it in
slowly. " Higginson's sister ! How well they 've worked
it! They could n't prevent Mr. Ashurst from making his
will, but they managed to supply their own tainted witnesses!
If it had been Higginson himself, now, he 'd have had to be
cross-examined ; and in cross-examination, of course, we
could have shaken his credit, by bringing up the episodes
of the Count de Laroche-sur-Loiret and Dr. Fortescue-
Langley. But his sister ! What 's she like ? Have you
anything against her ? "
" My dear," Lady Georgina cried, " there the rogue has
bested us. Is n't it just like him ? What do you suppose
he has done ? Why, provided himself with a sister of tried
respectability and blameless character."
*' And she denies that it is her handwriting ? " I asked.
The Cross-Eyed Q. C. 273
" Declares on her Bible oath she never signed the docu-
ment ! "
I was fairly puzzled. It was a stupendously' clever dodge.
Higginson must have trained up his sister for forty years in
the ways of wickedness, yet held her in reserve for this
supreme moment.
" And where is Higginson ? " I asked.
Lady Georgina broke into a hysterical laugh. " Where
is he, my dear ? That 's the question. With consummate
strategy, the wretch has disappeared into space at the last
moment."
" That 's artful again," I said. " His presence could only
damage their case. I can see, of course, Lord Southminster
has no need of him."
" Southminster 's the wiliest fool that ever lived," Harold
broke out bitterly. " Under that mask of imbecility, he 's a
fox for trickiness."
I bit my lip. *' Well, if you succeed in evading him," I
said, " you will have cleared your character. And if you
don't — then, Harold, our time will have come ; you will
have your longed-for chance of trying me. ' '
" That won't do me much good," he answered, " if I have
to wait fourteen years for you — at Portland."
Next morning, in court, I heard Harold's cross-examina-
tion. He described exactly where he had found the con-
tested will in his uncle's escritoire. The cross-eyed Q. C, a
heavy man with bloated features and a bulbous nose, begged
him, with one fat uplifted forefinger, to be very careful.
How did he know where to look for it ?
" Because I knew the house well : I knew where my uncle
was likely to keep his valuables."
18
2 74 Miss Cayley*s Adventures
" Oh, indeed ; not l>ecause you had put it there ? "
The court rang with laughter. My face grew crimson.
After an hour or two of fencing, Harold was dismissed.
He stood down, baffled. Coun.sel recalled Lord South-
minster.
THE CROSS-EYEI> O. C. BEGGED HIM TO UK VERY CAREFUL.
The pea-green young man, stepping briskly up, gazed
about him, open-mouthed, with a vacant stare. The look
of cunning on his face was carefully suppressed. He wore,
on the contrar}-, an air of injured innocence combined with
an eye-glass.
" Yon did not put this will in the drawer where Mr. Tilling-
ton found it, did you ? "* counsel asked.
The Cross-Eycd O. C. 275
The pea-green young man laughed. " No, I certainly
did n't put it theah. My cousin Harold was man in posses-
sion. He took jolly good care / did n't come neah the
premises."
" Do you think you could forge a will if you tried ? "
Lord Southminster laughed. " No, I don't," heanswefed,
with a well-assumed naivdi. " That 's just the difference
between us, don't yah know, /'w what they call a fool, and
my cousin Harold 's a precious clevah fellah."
There was another loud laugli,
" That 's not evidence," the judge obser\'ed, severely.
It was not. But it told far more than much that was. It
told strongly against Harold.
" Besides," Lord Southminster continued, with engaging
frankness, " if I forged a will at all, I 'd take jolly good care
to forge it in my own favah."
My turn came next. Our counsel handed me the incrimi-
nated will. " Did you draw up this document ? " he asked.
I looked at it closely. The paper bore our Florentine
water-mark, and was written with a Spread-Kagle. " I
typewrote it," I answered, gazing at it with care to make
sure I recognised it.
Our counsel's business was to uphold the will, not to ca.st
aspersions upon it. He was evidently annoyed at my close
examination. "You have no doubts about it?" he said,
trying to prompt me.
I hesitated. " No, no doubts," I answered, turning over
the sheet and inspecting it still closer. " I typewrote it at
Florence."
" Do you recognise that signature as Mr. Marmaduke
Ashurst's ? " he went on.
2/6 Miss Cay ley's Acl ventures
I stared at it. Was it his ? It was like it, certainly. Yet
that /• .'' and tho.se s'a ? I almost wondered.
Conn.sel was obviously annoyed at my hesitation. He
thought I was playijig into the enemy's hand.s. " Is it his,
or is it not ? " he enquired again, testily.
" It is his," I answered. Yet I own I was troubled.
He a.sked many questions about the circumstances of the
interview when I took down the will. I answered them all.
But I vaguely felt he and I were at cross- i)nrpo.ses. I grew
almost as uncomfortable under his gaze as if he had l)een
examining me in the interest of the other side. He managed
to fluster me. As a witness for Harold, I was a grotesque
failure.
Then the cro.ss-eyed Q. C, rising and shaking his huge
bulk, began to cro.ss-examine me. " Where did you type-
write this thing, do you say ? " he said, pointing to it con-
temptuously.
" In my office at Florence."
" Yes, I understand ; you had an office at Florence — after
you gave up retailing bicycles on the public roads ; and you
had a partner, I think — a Miss Petherick, or Petherton, or
Pennyfarthing, or something ? "
" Miss Petheridge," I corrected, while the court tittered.
" Ah, Petheridge, you call it ! W^ell, now, answer
this question carefully. Did your Miss Petheridge hear
Mr. Ashurst dictate the terms of his last will and testa-
ment ? "
" No," I answered. " The interview was of a strictly
confidential character. Mr. Ashurst took me aside into the
back room at our office."
" Oh, he took you aside ? Confidential ? Well, now we 're
The Cross-Eycd Q. C.
2/7
gettinj; at it. And did anybody hut yourself see or hear any
l)art whatsoever of this precious document ? "
" Certainly not," I repHed. " It was a private matter."
*' Private! oh, very ! Nobody
else saw it. Did Mr. Ashur.st
take it away from the office in
person ?
I WAS A CJROTESgUE FAILURE.
** No ; he sent his courier for it."
'* His courier ? The man Higgin.son ? "
** Yes ; but I refused to give it to Higginson. I took it
my.self that night to the liotcl where Mr. Ashurst was
stopping."
2/S Miss Cayley's Adventures
" Ah ! You took it yourself. So the only other person
who knows anything at first hand about the existence of the
alleged will is this person Higginson ? "
" Miss Petheridge knows," I said, flushing. " At the
time, I told her of it."
" Oh, voii told her. Well, that does n't help us much.
If what you are swearing is n't true — remember, you are on
your oath — what you told Miss Petherick or Petheridge or
Penny farthing, ' at the time,' can hardly be regarded as
corroborative evidence. Your word then and your word
now are just equally valuable — or equally worthless. The
only person who knows beside 3'ourself is Higginson. Now,
I ask you, ichcrc is Higginson ? Arc you going to produce
him ? "
The wicked cunning of it struck me dumb. They were
keeping him away, and then using his absence to cast doubts
on my veracity. ' ' Stop ! " I cried, taken aback. * ' Higginson
is well known to be a rogue, and he is keeping away lest he
may damage your side. I know nothing of Higginson."
" Yes, I 'm coming to that in good time. Don't be afraid
that we 're going to pass over Higginson. You admit this
man is a man of bad character. Now, what do j'ou know of
him?"
I told the stories of the Count and of Dr. Fortescue-
Langley.
The cross-eyed cross-examiner leant across towards me
and leered. " And this is the man," he exclaimed, with a
triumphant air,." whose sister you pretended you had got to
sign this precious document of yours ? "
" Whom Mr. Ashurst got to sign it," I aiiswered, red-hot,
" It is not my document."
The Cross-nyed (J. C. 279
<(
And you have heard that she swears it is not her signa-
ture at all?"
" So they tell me. She is Higginson's sister. For all I
know, she may be prepared to swear, or to forswear, any-
thing."
" Don't cast doubt upon our witnesses without cause !
Miss Higginson is an eminently respectable woman. You
gave this document to Mr. Ashurst, you say. There your
knowledge of it ends. A signature is placed on it which is
not his, as our experts testify. It purports to be witnessed
by a Swiss waiter, who is not forthcoming, and who is as-
serted to be dead, as well as by a nurse who denies her
signature. And the only other person who knows of its ex-
istence before Mr. Tillington ' discovers ' it in his uncle's
desk is — the missing man Higginson. Is that, or is it not,
the truth of the matter ? "
" I suppose so," I said, baffled.
" Well, now, as to. this man Higginson. He first
appears upon the scene, so far as you are concerned,
on the day when you travelled from London to Schlang-
enbad?"
" That is so," I answered.
" And he nearly succeeded then in stealing Lady Georgina
Fawley's jewel-case ? "
" He nearly took it, but I saved it." And I explained
the circumstance.
The cross-eyed Q. C. held his fat sides with his hands,
looking incredulously at me, and smiled. His vast width
of waistcoat shook with silent merriment. " You are a very
clever young lady, ' ' he murmured. ' ' You can explain away
anything. But don't you think it just as likely that it was
28o Miss Caylcy's Adventures
a plot between you two, and that, owing to some mistake, the
plot came off unsuccessful ? ' '
" I do not," I cried, crimson. " I never saw the Count
before that morning."
He tried another tack. " Still, wherever you went, this
man Higginson — the only other person, you admit, who
knows about the previous existence of the will — turned up
simultaneously. He was always turning up — at the same
place that you did. He turned up at Lucerne, as a faith-
healer, did n't he?"
" If you will allow me to explain," I cried, biting my lip.
He bowed, all blandness. ' ' Oh, certainly," he murmured.
" Explain away everything ! "
I explained, but of course he had discounted and damaged
my explanation.
He made no comment. " And then," he went on, with
his hands on his hips, and his obtrusive rotundity, " he
turned up at Florence, as courier to Mr. Ashurst, at the
very date when this so-called will was being concocted ? "
" He was at Florence when Mr. Ashurst dictated it to
me," I answered, growing desperate.
" You admit he was in Florence. Good ! Once more he
turned up in India with my client, Lord Southminster, upon
whose j'outh and inexperience he had managed to impose
himself. And he carried him off, did he not, bj' one of these
strange coincidences to which j'ou are peculiarly liable, on
the very same steamer on which /^« happened to be travel-
ling ? "
" Lord Southminster told me he took Higginson with him
because a rogue suited his book," I answered, warmly.
*' Will you swear his lordship did n't say ' i/ie rogue suited
The Cross-Hycd Q. C. 281
his book ' — which is quite another thing ? " the Q. C. asked
blandly.
" I will swear he did not," I replied. " I have correctly
reported him."
' Then I congratulate you, young lady, on your excellent
memory. My lud, will you allow me later to recall Lord
Southminster to testify on this point ? ' '
The judge nodded.
" Now, once more, as to your relations with the various
members of the Ashurst family. You introduced yourself to
Lady Georgina Fawlcy, I believe, quite casually, on a seat
in Kensington Gardens ? "
" That is true," I answered.
" You had never seen her before ? "
" Never."
" And you promptly offered to go as her lady's maid to
Schlangenbad in Germany ? "
" In place of her lady's maid, for one week," I answered.
" Ah ; a delicate distinction ! ' In place of her lady's
maid.' You are a lady, I believe ; an officer's daughter,
you told us ; educated at Girton ? "
" So I have said already," I replied, crimson.
** And you stick to it ? By all means. Tell — the truth —
and vStick to it. It 's always safest. Now, don't you think
it was rather an odd thing for an officer's daughter to do —
to run about Germany as maid to a lady of title ? "
I tried to explain once more ; but the jury smiled. You
can't justify originality to a British jury. Why, they would
send you to prison for that alone, if they made the laws as
well as dispensing them.
He passed on after a while to another topic. " I think
282 Miss Cayley's Adventures
you have boasted more than once in societj- that when you
first met Lady Georgina Fawley you had twopence in your
pocket to go round the world with ? ' '
" I had," I answered—" and I went round the world with
it."
" Exactly. I 'm getting there in time. With it and
other things. A few months later, more or less, you were
touring up the Nile in your steam dahabeah, and in the lap
of luxury- ; you were taking saloon-carriages on Indian rail-
ways, were n't j'ou ? "
I explained again. " The dahabeah was in the service of
the Daily Telephone''' I answered, " I became a journalist."
He cross-questioned me about that. " Then I am to
understand," he said at last, leaning forward with all his
waistcoat, " that you sprang yourself upon Mr. Klworthy at
sight, prettj' much as you sprang yourself upon L,ady Geor-
gina Fawley ? "
"We arranged matters quickly," I admitted. The dex-
terous wretch was making my strongest points all tell against
me.
" H'm ! Well, he was a man ; and you will admit, I sup-
pose," fingering his smooth fat chin, " that you are a lady
of^what is the stock phrase the reporters use ? — consider-
able personal attractions ? "
" My Lord," I said, turning to the Bench, " I appeal to
3-ou. Has he the right to compel me to answer that
question ? "
The judge bowed slightly. " The question requires no
answer," he said, with a quiet emphasis. I burned bright
scarlet.
" Well, my lud, I defer to your ruling," the cross-eyed
284
Miss Cayley's Adventures
cross-examiner continued, radiant. " I go on to another
point. When in India, I believe, you stopped for some time
as a guest in the house of a native maharajah."
THE QUESTION REQUIRES NO ANSWER, HE SAID.
" Is that matter relevant ? " the judge asked, sharply.
" My lud," the Q. C. said, in his blandest voice, " I am
striving to suggest to the jury that this lad} — the only per-
son who ever beheld this so-called will till Mr. Harold
Tillington — described in its terms as ' Younger of Gled-
The Cross-Eycd (J. C. 2S5
cliffe,' whatever that may be — produced it out of his uncle's
desk — I am striving to suggest that this lady is — my duty to
my client compels me to say — an adventuress."
He had uttered the word. I felt my character had not a
leg left to stand upon before a British jury.
" I went there with my friend, Miss Petheridge " I
began.
" Oh, Miss Petheridge once more — you hunt in couples ? "
" Accompanied and chaperoned by a married lady, the
wife of a Major Balmossie, on the Bombay Staff Corps."
" That was certainly prudent. One ought to be chape-
roned. Can you produce the lady ? "
" How is it possible ? " I cried. " Mrs. Balmossie is in
India."
" Yes; but the Maharajah, I understand, is in London ? "
" That is true," I answered.
" And he came to meet you on your arrival yesterday."
" With Lady Georgina Fawley," I cried, taken off my
guard.
" Do you not consider it curious," he asked, " that these
Higginsons and these maharajahs should happen to follow
you so closely round the world ? — should happen to turn up
wherever you do ? "
" He came to be present at this trial," I exclaimed.
" And so did you. I believe he met you at Euston last
night, and drove you to your hotel in his private carriage."
*' With Lady Georgina Fawley," I answered, once more.
" And Lady Georgina is on Mr. Tillington's side, I fancy ?
Ah yes, I thought so. And Mr. Tillington also called to see
you ; and likewise Miss Petherick — I beg your pardon,
Petheridge. We must be strictly accurate — where Miss
286 Miss Cayley's Adventures
Petlieridge is concerned. And, in fact, you had quite a little
family party." >
" My friends were glad to see me back again," I mur-
mured.
He sprang a fresh innuendo. " But Mr. Tillington did
not resent your visit to this gallant Maharajah ? "
" Certainly not," I cried, bridling. " Why should
he?"
" Oh, we 're getting to that too. Now answer me this
carefully. We want to find out what interest you might
have, supposing a will were forged, on either side, in arrang-
ing its terms. We want to find out just who would benefit
by it. Please reply to this question, yes or no, without pre-
varication. Are you or are you not conditionally engaged
to Mr. Harold Tillington ? "
" If I might explain " I began, quivering.
He sneered. " You have a genius for explaining, we are
aware. Answer me first, yes or no ; we will qualify after-
ward."
I glanced appealingly at the judge. He was adamant.
" Answer as counsel directs you, witness," he said, sternly.
" Yes, I am," I faltered. " But "
" Excuse me one moment. You promised to marry him
conditionally upon the result of Mr. Ashurst's testamentary
dispositions ? "
" I did," I answered ; " but "
My explanation was drowned in roars of laughter, in
which the judge joined, in spite of himself. When the mirth
in court had subsided a little, I went on : "I told Mr. Till-
ington I would only marry him in case he was poor and
without expectations. If he inherited Mr. Marmaduke
The Cross-Eyed (j. C. 287
Ashiirst's money, I could never be his wife." I said it
proudly.
The cross-eyed Q. C. drew himself up and let his rotundity
take care of itself. " Do you take me," he enquired, " for
one of Her Majesty's horse-marines ? "
There was another roar of laughter — feebly suppressed by
a judicial frown — and I slank away, annihilated.
" You can go," my persecutor said. " I think we have
got — well, everything we wanted from you. You promised
to marry him, if all went ill ! That is a delicate feminine
way of putting it. Women like these equivocations. They
relieve one from the onus of .speaking frankly."
I stood down from the box, feeling, for the fir.st time in
ni}' life, conscious of having scored an ignominious failure.
Our counsel did not care to re-examine me ; I recognised
that it would be useless. The hateful Q. C. had put all mj'
history in such an odious light that explanation could only
make matters worse — it must savour of apology. The jury
could never understand my point of view. It could never
be made to see that there are adventuresses and advent-
uresses.
Then came the final speeches on either side. Harold's
advocate said the best he could in favour of the will our
party propounded ; but his best was bad ; and what galled
me most was this — I could see he himself did not believe in
its genuineness. His speech amounted to little more than
a perfunctory attempt to put the most favourable tace on a
probable forgery.
As for the cro.ss-eyed Q. C, he rose to reply with humor-
ous confidence. Swaying his big body to and fro, he
crumpled our will and our case in his fat fingers like so
288 Miss Cayley's Adventures
much flimsy tissue-paper. Mr. Ashurst had made a dis-
position of his property twenty years ago — the right dispo-
sition, the natural disposition ; he had left the bulk of it as
childless English gentlemen have ever been wont to leave
their wealth — to the eldest son of the eldest son of his famil}-.
The Honourable Marmaduke Courtney Ashurst, the testator,
was the scion of a great house, which recent agricultural
changes, he regretted to say, had relatively impoverished ;
he had come to the succour of that great house, as such a
scion should, with his property acquired by honest industry
elsewhere. It was fitting and reasonable that Mr. Ashurst
should wish to see the Kynaston peerage regain, in the per-
son of the amiable and accomplished young nobleman whom
he had the honour to represent, some portion of its ancient
dignity and splendour.
But jealousy and greed inter\'ened. (Here he frowned at
Harold.) Mr. Harold Tillington, the son of one of Mr.
Ashurst's married sisters, cast longing eyes, as he had tried
to suggest to them, on his cousin Lord Southminster's natural
heritage. The result, he feared, was an unnatural intrigue.
Mr. Harold Tillington formed the acquaintance of a young
lady — should we say j'oung lady ? (he withered me with
his glance) — well, yes, a lady, indeed, by birth and education,
but an adventuress by choice — a lady who, brought up in a
respectable, though not (he must admit) a distinguished
sphere, had lowered herself by accepting the position of a
lady's maid, and had trafficked in patent American cycles
on the public highroads of Germany and Switzerland. This
clever and designing woman (he would grant her ability — he
would grant her good looks) had fascinated Mr. Tillington
— that was the theory he ventured to lay before the jury to-
The Cross-Eyed Q. C. 289
day ; and the jury would see for themselves that whatever
else the young lady might be, she had distinctly a certain
outer gift of fascination. It was for them to decide whether
Miss I^ois Cayley had or had not suggested to Mr. Harold
Tillington the design of substituting a forged will for Mr.
Marniaduke Ashurst's undeniable testament. He would
point out to them her singular connection with the missing
man Higginson, whom the young lady herself described as
a rogue, and from whom she had done her very best to dis-
sociate herself in this court — but ineffectually. Wherever
Miss Cayley went, the man Higginson went independently.
Such frequent recurrences, such apt juxtapositions, could
hardly be set down to mere accidental coincidence.
He went on to insinuate that Higginson and I had con-
cocted the disputed will between us ; that we had passed it
on to our fellow-conspirator, Harold ; and that Harold had
forged his uncle's signature to it, and had appended those of
the two supposed witnesses. But who, now, were these wit-
nesses ? One, Franz Markheim, was dead or missing ; dead
men tell no tales : the other was obviously suggested by
Higginson. It was his own sister. Perhaps he forged her
name to the document. Doubtless he thought that family
feeliug would induce her, when it came to the pinch, to ac-
cept and endorse her brother's lie ; nay, he might even have
been foolish enough to suppose that this cock-and-bull will
would not be disputed. If so, he and his master had reck-
oned without Lord Southminster, a gentleman who concealed
beneath the careless exterior of a man of fashion the solid
intelligence of a man of affairs, and the hard head of a man
not to be lightly cheated in matters of business.
The alleged will had thus not a leg to stand upon. It was
•9
290 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
" typewritten " (save the mark !) " from dictation " at
Florence, by whom ? By the lady who had most to gain
from its success — the lady who was to be transformed from a
shady adventuress, tossed about between Irish doctors and
Hindoo maharajahs, into the lawful wife of a wealthy dip-
lomatist of noble family, on one condition only — if this
pretended will could be satisfactorily established. The sig-
natures were forgeries, as shown by the expert evidence,
and also bj' the oath of the one surviving witness.
The will left all the estate — practically — to Mr. Harold
Tillington, and five hundred pounds to whom ? — why, to the
accomplice Higginson. The minor bequests the Q. C. re-
garded as ingenious inventions, pure play of fancy, ** in-
tended to give artistic verisimilitude," as Pooh-Bah says in
the opera, ** to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narra-
tive." The fads, it was true, were known fads of Mr.
Ashurst's ; but what sort of fads ? Bimetallism ? Anglo-
Israel ? No, braces and shoe-horns — clearly the kind that
would best be known to a courier like Higginson, the sole
begetter, he believed, of this nefarious conspiracy.
The cross-eyed Q. C, lifting his fat right hand in solemn
adjuration, called upon the jury confidently to set aside this
ridiculous fabrication, and declare for a will of undoubted
genuineness, a will drawn up in London by a firm of eminent
solicitors, and preserved ever since by the testator's bankers.
It would then be for his lordship to decide whether in the
public interest he should recommend the Crown to prosecute
on a charge of forgery the clumsy fabricator of this pre-
posterous document.
The judge summed up — strongly in favour of Lord South-
minster's will. If the jury believed the experts and Miss
The Cross-Hycd Q. C.
291
IIiKRi'ison, one verdict alone wns possible. The jury retired
for three niiniiles only. It was a foregone conclusion. They
^i2^U^
1 REELED WHERE I SAT.
found for Lord Southminster. The judge, looking grave,
concurred in their finding. A most proper verdict. And he
considered it would be the duty ot the Public Prosecutor to
pursue Mr. Harold Tillington on the charge of forgery.
'-"■J — .- i'>-'
292 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
I reeled where I sat. Then I looked round for Harold.
He had slipped from the court, unseen, during counsel's
address, some minutes earlier !
That distressed me more than anything else on that dread-
ful da}'. I wished he had stood up in his place like a man
to face this vile and cruel conspiracy.
I walked out slowly, supported by Lady Georgina, who
was as white as a ghost herself, but very straight and scorn-
fid. " I always knew Southminster was a fool," she said
aloud ; " I always knew he was a sneak ; but I did not know
till now he was also a particularly bad type of criminal."
On the steps of the court, the pea-green young man met
us. His air was jaunty. " Well, I was right, yah see," he
said, smiling and withdrawing his cigarette. " You backed
the wrong fellah ! I told you I 'd win. I won't say moah
now ; this is not the time or place to recur to that subject ;
but, by-and-by, you '11 come round ; you '11 think bettali of
it still ; 3'ou '11 back the winnah ! "
I wished I were a man, that I might have the pleasure of
kicking him.
We drove back to my hotel and waited for Harold. To
my horror and alarm, he never came near us. I might
almost have doubted him — if he had not been Harold.
I waited and waited. He did not come at all. He sent
no word, no message. And all that evening we heard the
newsboys shouting at the top of their voice in the street :
" Kxtra Spcshul ! the Ashurst Will Kise ; Sensational De-
velopments ! Mysterious Disappearance of Mr. 'Arold
Tillington."
CHAPTER XI
1
THE ADVRNTURK OK TIIK ORIKXTAL ATTENDANT
DID not sleep that night. Next morning, I rose very-
early from a restless bed with a dry, hot mouth, and a
general feeling that the solid earth had failed beneath
me.
Still no news from Harold ! It was cruel, I thought. My
faith almost flagged. He was a man and should be brave.
How could he run away snd hide himself at such a time ?
Even if I set my own anxiet}' aside, just think to what
vSerious misapprehension it laid him open !
I sent out for the morning papers. They were full of
Harold. Rumours, rumours, rumours ! Mr. Tillington
had deliberately choseti to put himself in the wrong by dis-
appearing mysteriously at the last moment. He had only
himself to blame if the worst interpretation were put upon
his action. But the police were on his track ; Scotland Yard
had " a clue " , it was confidently expected an arrest would
be made before evening at latest. As to details, authorities
differed. The officials of the Great Western Railway at
Paddington were convinced that Mr. Tillington had started,
alone and undisguised, by the night express for P^xeter.
The South Eastern inspectors at Charing Cross, on the other
2<)3
294 Miss Cayley's Adventures
hand, were equally certain that he had slipped away with a
false beard, in company with his " accomplice " Higginson,
by the 8.15 p.m. to Paris. Everybody took it for granted,
however, that he had left London.
Conjecture played with various ultimate destinations —
Spain, Morocco, Sicily, the Argentine. In Italy, said the
Chronicle, he might lurk for a while — he spoke Italian
fluently, and could manage to put up at tiny ostcric in out-
of-the-way places seldom visited by Englishmen. He might
try AJbania, said the Morning Post, airing its exclusive
"society" information; he had often hunted there, and
might in turn be hunted. He would probably attempt to
slink away to some remote spot in the Carpathians or the
Balkans, said the Daily Nczvs, quite proud of its geography.
Still, wherever he went, leaden-footed justice in this age,
said the Times, must surely overtake him. The day of uni-
versal extradition had dawned ; we had no more Alsatias :
even the Argentine itself gives up its rogues — at last ; not
an asylum for crime remains in Europe, not a refuge in Asia,
Africa, America, Australia, or the Pacific Islands.
I noted with a shudder of horror that all the papers alike
took his guilt as certain. In spite of a few decent pretences
at not prejudging an untried cause, they treated him already
as the detected criminal, the fugitive from justice. I sat in
my little sitting-room at the hotel in Jermyn Street, a limp
rag, looking idly out of the window with anxious eyes,
and waiting for Lady Georgina. It was early, too early,
but — oh, why did n't .she come ! Unless somebody soon sym-
pathised with me, my heart would break under this load of
loneliness !
Presently, as I looked out on the sloppy morning street.
The Oriental Attendant -95
I was vaguely aware through the mist that floated before my
dry eyes (for tears were denied me) of a very grand carriage
driving up to the doorway — the porch with the four wooden
Ionic pillars. I took no heed of it. I was too heart-sick for
observation. My life was wrecked, and Harold's with it.
Yet, dimly through the mist, I became conscious after a
while that the carriage was that of an Indian prince ; I could
see the black faces, the white turbans, the gold brocades of
the attendants in the dickey. Then it came home to me
with a pang that this was the Maharajah.
It was kindly meant ; yet after all that had been insinu-
ated in court the day before, I was by no means overpleased
that his dusky Highness should come to call upon me.
Walls have eyes and ears. Reporters were hanging about
all over London, eager to distinguish themselves by success-
ful eavesdropping. Thej^ would note, with brisk innuendoes
after their kind, how " the Maharajah of Moozuffernuggar
called early in the day on Miss Lois Cayley, with whom he
remained for at least half an hour in close consultation," I
had half a mind to send down a message that I could not see
him. My face still burned with the undeserved shame of
the cross-eyed Q. C.'s unspeakable suggestions.
Before I could make my mind up, however, I saw to my
surprise that the Maharajah did not propose to come in him-
self. He leaned back in his place with his lordly Eastern
air, and waited, looking down on the gapers in the street,
while one of the two gorgeous attendants in the dickey de-
scended obsequiously to ''eceive his orders. The man was
dressed as usual in rich Oriental stuffs, and wore his full
white turban swathed in folds round his head. I could not
see his features. He bent forward respectfully with Oriental
296
Miss Cayley's Adventures
suppleness to take his Highness's orders. Then, receiving
a card and bowing low, he entered the porch with the wooden
Ionic pillars, and disappeared within, while the Maharajah
THE MKSSENGER ENTERED.
folded his hands and seemed to resign himself to a temporary
Nirvana.
A minute later, a knock sounded on my door. " Come
ill ! " I said, faintly ; and the messenger entered.
I turned and faced him. The l)lood rushed to my cheek.
" Harold ! " I cried, darting forward. My joy overcame me.
The Oriental Attendant 297
He folded me in his arms. I allowed him, unreproved. For
the first time he kissed me. I did not shrink from it.
Then I stood away a little and gazed at him. Even at
that crucial moment of doubt and fear, I could not help
noticing how admirably he made up as a handsome young
Rajput. Three years earlier, at Schlangenbad, I remem-
bered, he had struck me as strangely Oriental-looking : he
had the features of a high-born Indian gentleman, without
the complexion. His large, poetical eyes, his regular, oval
face, his even teeth, his mouth and moustache, all vaguely
recalled the highest type of the Eastern temperament. Now,
he had blackened his face and hands with some permanent
stain — Indian ink, I learned later — and the resemblance to a
Rajput chief was positivelj' startling. In his gold brocade
and ample white turban, no passer-by, I felt sure, would
ever have dreamt of doubting him.
" Then you knew me at once ? " he said, holding my face
between his hands. " That 's bad, darling ! I flattered
myself I had transformed my face into the complete Indian."
' * Love has sharp eyes, ' ' I answered. * * It can see through
brick walls. But the disguise is perfect. No one else would
detect you."
" Love is blind, I thought."
" Not where it ought to see. There, it pierces everything.
I knew you instantly, Harold. But all London, I am .sure,
would pass you by, unknown. You are absolute Orient."
" That 's well ; for all London is looking for me," he an-
swered, bitterly. " The .streets bristle with detectives.
Southminster's knaveries have won the day. So I have
tried this disguise. Otherwise, I should have been arrested
the moment the jury brought in their verdict."
298 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
"And why were you not?" I asked, drawing back.
" Oh, Harold, I trust you ; but why did you disappear
and make all the world believe you admitted yourself
guilty?"
He opened his arms. "Can't you guess?" he cried,
holding them out to me.
I nestled in them once more ; but I answered through my
tears — I had found tears now — "No, Harold; it baffles
me."
" You remember what you promised me ? " he murmured,
leaning over me and clasping me. " If ever I were poor,
friendless, hunted — you would marry me. Now the oppor-
tunity has come when we can both prove ourselves. To-day,
except you and dear Georgey, I have n't a friend in the
world. Everyone else has turned against me. Southminster
holds the field. I am a suspected forger ; in a very few
days I shall doubtless be a convicted felon. Unjustly,
as you know ; yet still — we must face it — a convicted
felon. So I have come to claim you. I have come to ask
you now, in this moment of despair, will you keep your
promise ? ' '
I lifted my face to his. He bent over it trembling. I
whispered the words in his ear. " Yes, Harold, I will keep
it. I have always loved you. And now I will marry
you. ' '
" I knew you would ! " he cried, and pressed me to his
bosom.
We sat for some minutes, holding each other's hands, and
saying nothing ; we were too full of thought for words.
Then, suddenly, Harold roused himself. " We must make
haste, darling," he cried. " We are keeping Partab outside,
The Oriental Attendant 299
and every minute is precious, every minute's delay danger-
ous. We ought to go down at once. Partab's carriage is
waiting at the door for us."
"Go down?" I exclaimed, clinging to him. "How?
Why ? I don't understand. What is your programme ? "
" Ah, I forgot I had n't explained to you ! Listen here,
dearest — quick ; I can waste no words over it. I said just
now I had no friends in the world but you and Georgey.
That 's not true, for dear old Partab has stuck to me nobly.
When all my English friends fell away, the Rajput was true
to me. He arranged all this ; it was his own idea ; he fore-
saw what was coming. He urged me yesterday, just before
the verdict (when he saw my acquaintances beginning to
look askance), to slip quietly out of court, and make my way
by unobtrusive roads to his house in Curzon Street. There,
he darkened my face like his, and converted me to Hindooism.
I don't suppose the disguise will serve me for more than a
day or two ; but it will last long enough for us to get safely
away to Scotland."
" Scotland ? " I murmured. " Then you mean to try a
Scotch marriage ? "
"It is the only thing possible. We must be married to-
day, and in England, of course, we cannot do it. We would
have to be called in church, or else to procure a license,
either of which would involve disclosure of my identity.
Besides, ev^en the license would keep us waiting about for a
day or two. In Scotland, on the other hand, we can be
married at once. Partab's carriage is below, to take you to
King's Cross. He is staunch as steel, dear fellow. Do you
consent to go with me ? "
My faculty for promptly making up such mind as I possess
300 Miss Cayley's Adventures
stood me once more in good stead. " Implicitly," I an-
swered. " Dear Harold, this calamity has its happy side —
for without it, much as I love you, I could never have
brought myself to marry you ! "
" One moment," he cried. " Before you go, recollect,
this step is irrevocable. You will marry a man who may be
torn from you this evening, and from whom fourteen years
of prison may separate you."
*' I know it," I cried, through my tears. " But — I shall
be showing my confidence in you, my love for you."
He kissed me once more, fervently. " This makes amends
for all," he cried. " Lois, to have won such a woman as
you, I would go through it all a thousand times over. It
was for this, and for this alone, that I hid myself last night.
I wanted to give you the chance of showing me how much,
how truly, you loved me." .
" And after we are married ? " I asked, trembling.
" I shall give myself up at once to the police in Kdin-
burgh."
I clung to him wistfully. My heart half led me to urge
him to escape. But I knew that was wrong. " Give your-
self up, then," I said, sobbing. " It is a brave man's place.
You must stand your trial; and, come what will, I will strive
to bear it with you."
" I knew you would," he cried. " I was not mistaken in
you."
We embraced again, just once. It was little enough after
those years of waiting.
" Now come ! " he cried. " L,et us go."
I drew back. " Not with you, dearest," I whisoered.
" Not in the Maharajah's carriage. You must start by
The Oriental Attendant 30 ^
yourself. I will follow you at once, to King's Cross, in a
hansom."
He saw I was right. It would avoid suspicion, and it
would prevent more scandal. He withdrew without a word.
" We meet," I said, " at ten, at King's Cross Station."
I did not even wait to wash the tears from my eyes. All
red as they were, I put on my hat and my little brown
travelling jacket. I don't think I so much as glanced once
at the glass. The seconds were precious. I saw the Maha-
rajah drive away, with Harold in the dickey, arms crossed,
imperturbable, Orientally silent. He looked the very
counterpart of the Rajput by his side. Then I descended
the stairs and walked out boldly. As I passed through the
hall, the servants and the visitors stared at me and whispered.
They spoke with nods and liftings of the eyebrows. I was
aware that that morning I had achieved notoriety.
At Piccadilly Circus, I jumped of a sudden into a passing
hansom. " King's Cross ! " I cried, as I mounted the step.
" Drive quick ! I have no time to spare." And, as the
man drove off, I saw, by a convulsive dart of someone across
the road, that I had given the slip to a disappointed reporter.
At the station I took a first-class ticket for Edinburgh.
On the platform, the Maharajah and his attendants were
waiting. He lifted his hat to me, though otherwise he took
no overt notice. But I saw his keen eyes follow me down
the train. Harold, in his Oriental dress, pretended not to
observe me. One or two porters, and a few curious travel-
lers, cast enquiring eyes on the Eastern prince, and made re-
marks about him to one another. " That 's the chap as was
up yesterday in the Ashurst will kise ! " said one lounger to
his neighbour. But nobody seemed to look at Harold ; his
302 Miss Cayley's Adventures
subordinate position secured him from curiosity. The Maha-
rajah had always two Eastern servants, gorgeously dressed,
in attendance ; he had been a well-known figure in London
society, and at Lord's and the Oval, for two or three seasons.
" Bloomin' fine cricketer ! " one porter observed to his
mate as he passed.
" Yuss ; not so dusty for a nigger," the other man replied.
" Fust-rite bowler ; but, Lord, he can't 'old a candle to good
old Ranji."
As for myself, nobody seemed to recognise me. I set this
fact down to the fortunate circumstance that the evening
papers had published rough wood-cuts which professed to be
my portrait, and which naturally led the public to look out
for a brazen-faced, raw-boned, hard-featured termagant.
I took my seat in a ladies' compartment by myself. As
the train was about to start, Harold strolled up as if casually
for a moment. "You think it better so?" he queried,
without moving his lips or seeming to look at me.
" Decidedly," I answered. " Go back to Partab. Don't
come near me again till w^e get to Edinburgh. It is danger-
ous still. The police maj'^ at any moment hear we have
started and stop us half-way ; and now that we have once
committed ourselves to this plan it would be fatal to be inter-
rupted before we have got married."
" You are right," he cried ; " Lois, you are always right,
somehow. ' '
I wished I could think .so myself; but 't was with serious
misgivings that I felt the train roll out of the station.
Oh, that long journey north, alone, in a ladies' compart-
ment— with the feeling that Harold was so near, yet so
unapproachable ; it was an endless agony. He had the
The Oriental Attendant 3<^3
Maharajah, who loved and admired him, to keep him from
brooding ; but I, left alone, and confined with my own fears,
conjured up before my eyes every possible misfortune that
Heaven could send us. I saw clearly now that if we failed
in our purpose this journey would be taken by everyone for
a flight, and would deepen the suspicion under which we
both laboured. It would make me still more obviously a
conspirator with Harold.
Whatever happened, we must strain every nerve to reach
Scotland in safetj% and then to get married, in order that
Harold might immediately surrender himself.
At York, I noticed with a thrill of terror that a man in
plain clothes, with the obtrusively unobtrusive air of a de-
tective, looked carefully though casually into every carriage.
I felt sure he was a spy, because of his marked outer jaunti-
ness of demeanour, which hardly masked an underlying
hang-dog expression of scrutiny. When he reached my
place, he took a long, careless stare at me — a seemingly
careless stare, which was yet brimful of the keenest observa-
tion. Then he paced slowly along the line of carriages, with
a glance at each, till he arrived just opposite the Maharajah's
compartment. There he stared hard once more. The Ma-
harajah descended; so did Harold and the Hindoo attendant,
who was dressed just like him. The man I took for a de-
tective indulged in a frank, long gaze at the unconscious
Indian prince, but cast only a hasty eye on the two apparent
followers. That touch of revelation relieved my mind a
little. I felt convinced the police were watching the Maha-
rajah and myself, as suspicious persons connected with the
case ; but they had not yet guessed that Harold had di.s-
guised himself as one of the two invariable Rajput servants.
304 Miss Cayley's Adventures
We steamed on northward. At Newcastle, the same de-
tective strolled, with his hands in his pockets, along the
train once more, and puffed a cigar with the nonchalant air
of a sporting gentleman. But I was certain now, from the
studious unconcern he was anxious to exhibit, that he must
1
HE TOOK A LONG, CARELESS STARE AT MK.
be a spy upon us. He overdid his mood of careless observa-
tion. It was too obvious an assumption. Precisely the
same thing happened again when we pulled up at Berwick,
I knew now that we were watched. It would be impossible
for us to get married at Edinburgh if we were thus closely
pursued. There was but one chance open ; we nuist leave
the train abruptly at the first Scotch stopping station.
The Oriental Attendant 305
The detective knew we were booked through for Edin-
burgh. So much I conld tell, because I saw him make en-
(luiries of the ticket examiner at York, and again at Berwick,
and because the ticket-examiner thereupon entered a mental
note of the fact as he punched my ticket each time : "Oh,
Kdinburgh, miss ? All right " ; and then stared at me sus-
piciously. I could tell he had heard of the Ashurst will
case. He also lingered long about the Maharajah's com-
partment, and then went back to confer with the detective.
Thus, putting two and two together, as a woman will, I
came to the conclusion that the spy did not expect us to leave
the train before we reached Edinburgh. That told in our
favour. Most men trust much to just such vague expecta-
tions. They form a theorj', and then neglect the adverse
chances. You can only get the better of a skilled detective
by taking him thus, psychologically and humanly.
By this time, I confess, I felt almost like a criminal.
Never in my life had danger loomed so near — not even when
we returned with the Arabs from the oasis. For then we
feared for our lives alone ; now, we feared for our honour.
I drew a card from my case before we left Berwick station,
and scribbled a few hasty words on it in German. " We are
watched. A detective ! If we run through to Edinburgh,
we shall doubtless be arrested or at least impeded. This
train will stop at Dunbar for one minute. Just before it
leaves again, get out as quietly as you can — at the last mo-
ment. I will also get out and join you. Let Partab go on ;
it will excite le.ss attention. The .scheme I suggest is the
only safe plan. If you agree, as soon as we have well started
from Berwick, shake your handkerchief unobtrusively out
of your carriage window."
3o6
Miss Caylcy's Adventures
I beckoned a porter noiselessly without one word. The
detective was now strolling along the fore-part of the
train, with his back turned towards nie, peering as he went
into all the windows. I gave the porter a shilling. "Take
this to a black gentleman
in the next carriage but
one," I said, in a confiden-
tial whisper. The porter
touched his hat, nodded,
smiled, and took it.
Would Harold see the
necessity for acting on my
advice ? — I wondered. I
gazed out along the train
as soon as we had got well
clear of Berwick. A min-
ute — two mi nutes — three
minutes passed ; and still
no handkerchief. I began
to despair. He was debat-
ing, no doubt. If he re-
fused, all was lost, and we
were disgraced for ever.
At last, after long wait-
ing, as I stared still along
the whizzing line, with the
smoke in my eyes, and the
dust half blinding me, I saw, to my intense relief, a handker-
chief flutter. It fluttered once, not markedly, then a black
hand withdrew it. Only just in time, for even as it disap-
peared, the detective's head thrust itself out of a farther
I BIXKONED A PORTKR.
The Oriental Attendant 3^7
window. He was not looking for anything in particular, as
far as I could tell — ^just observing the signals. But it gave
me a strange thrill to think even now we were so nearly
defeated.
My next trouble was — would the train draw up at Dunbar ?
The lo A.M. from King's Cross is not set down to stop there
in Bradshaw, for no passengers are booked to or from the
station by the day express ; but I remembered from of old,
when I lived at Edinburgh, that it used always to wait about
a minute for some engine-driver's purpose. This doubt filled
me with fresh fear ; did it draw up there still ? — they have
accelerated the service so much of late years, and abolished
so many old accustomed stoppages. I counted the familiar
stations with my breath held back. They seemed so much
farther apart than usual. Reston-— Grant's House — Cock-
burn.spath — Innerwick.
The next was Dunbar. If we rolled past f/ia^, then all was
lost. We could never get married. I trembled and hugged
myself.
The engine screamed. Did that mean .she was ruiniing
through ? Oh, how I wished I had learned the interpreta-
tion of the signals !
Then gradually, gently, we began to slow. Were we
slowing to pass the station only ? No ; with a jolt she drew
up. My heart gave a bound as I read the word " Dunbar "
on the station notice-board.
I rose and waited, with my fingers on the door. Happily
it had one of those new-fa.shioned .slip-latches which open
from the inside. No need to betray myself prematurely to
the detective by a hand displayed on the outer handle. I
glanced out at him cautiously. His head was thrust through
3o8 Miss Cayley's Adventures
his window, and his sloping shoulders revealed the sp}-, but
he was looking the other way — observing the signals, douljt-
less, to discover why we stopped at a place not mentioned in
Bradshaw.
Harold's face just showed from another window close by.
Too soon or too late might either of them be fatal. He
glanced enquiry at me. I nodded back, " Now ! " The
train gave its first jerk, a faint backward jerk, indicative of
the nascent intention of starting. As it braced itself to go
on, I jumped out ; so did Harold. We faced one another
on the platform without a word. "Stand away, there,"
the station-master cried, in an angry voice. The guard
waved his green flag. The detective, still absorbed on the
signals, never once looked back. One second later, we were
safe at Dunbar, and he was speeding away by the express
for Edinburgh.
It gave us a breathing space of about an hour.
For half a minute I could not speak. My heart was in my
mouth. I hardly even dared to look at Harold. Then the
station-master stalked up to us with a threatening manner.
" You can't get out here," he said, crustily, in a gruff" Scotch
voice. " This train is not timed to set down before Edin-
burgh."
" We have got out," I answered, taking it upon me to
speak for my fellow-culprit, the Hindoo — as he was to all
seeming. " The logic of facts is with us. We were booked
through to Edinburgh, but we wanted to stop at Dunbar ;
and as the train happened to pull up, we thought we need n't
waste time by going on all that way and then coming back
again."
" Ye should have changed at Berwick," the station-master
The Oriental Attendant
309
said, still gruffly, " and come on by the slow train." I could
see his careful Scotch soul was vexed (incidentally) at our
extravagance in paying the extra fare to Edinburgh and
back again. In spite of agitation, I managed to summon
YOU CAN T GET OUT UEKE, HE SAID, CRUSTILY.
Up one of my sweetest smiles — a smile that ere now had
melted the hearts of rickshaw coolies and of French douanicrs.
He thawed before it visibly. " Time was important to us,"
I said — oh, he guessed not how important ; " and besides,
you know, it is so good for the company ! "
310 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
" That 's so," he answered, molHfied. He could not tilt
against the interests of tlie North British shareholders,
"But how about yer luggage ? It '11 have gone on to Edin-
burgh, I 'm thinking."
" We have no luggage," I answered boldly.
He stared at us both, puckered his brow a moment, and
then burst out laughing. " Oh, ay, I see," he answered,
with a comic air of amusement. " Well, well, it 's none of
my business, no doul)t, and I will not interfere with ye ;
though why a lady like you " He glanced curiously at
Harold.
I saw he had guessed right, and thought it best to throw
myself unreservedly on his mercy. Time was indeed im-
portant. I glanced at the station clock. It was not very
far from the stroke of six, and we must manage to get mar-
ried before the detective could miss us at Ivdinburgh, where
he was due at 6.30.
So I smiled once more that heart-softening smile. "We
have each our own fancies," I said, blushing — and, indeed
(such is the pride of race among women), I felt myself blush
at the bare idea that I was marrying a black man, in spite
of our good Maharajah's kindness. " He is a gentleman,
and a man of education and culture." I thought that recom-
mendation ought to tell with a Scotchman. " We are in
sore straits now, but our case is a just one. Can you tell
me who in this place is most likely to sympathise — most
likely to marry us ? "
He looked at me — and surrendered at discretion. " I
should think anybody would marry ye who saw yer
pretty face and heard yer sweet voice," he answered.
" But perhaps ye 'd better present yerself to Mr. Schoolcraft,
The Oriental Attendant
the U. P. minister at Little Kirkton.
hearted."
" How far from liere ? " I asked.
" About two inilL'S," lie answered.
" Can we ^-et a trap ? "
He was ay soft-
\VK l(il.l) (H.'K lAI.I
" Oh, a\', there 's machines always waitiiiij^ at the
station."
We interviewed a "machine" and drove out to Little
Kirkton. Tlh.Te, we told our tale in the fewest words possi-
ble to the obliging- and good-natured II. P. minister. He
looked, as the station-master had said, " soft-hearted " ; but
he dashed our hopes to the ground at once by telliug us
312 Miss Caylcy's Adventures
candidly that unless we had had our residence in Scotland
for twenty-one days preceding the marriage, it would not be
legal. " If you were Scotch," he added, " I could go
through the ceremony at once, of course ; and then you
could apply to the sheriff to-night for leave to register the
marriage in proper form afterward ; but as one of you is
English, and the other, I judge " — he smiled and glanced
towards Harold — " an Indian-born subject of Her Majesty,
it would be impossible for me to do it : the ceremony would
be invalid, under Lord Brougham's Act, without previous
residence. ' '
This was a terrible blow. I looked away appealingly.
" Harold," I cried in despair, " do you think we could
manage to hide ourselves safely anywhere in Scotland for
twenty-one days ? ' '
His face fell. "How could I escape notice? All the
world is hunting for me. And then the scandal ! No matter
where you stopped — however far from me — no, Lois darling,
I could never expose you to it."
The minister glanced from one to the other of us, puzzled.
" Harold ? " he said, turning over the word on his tongue.
" Harold ? That does n't .sound like an Indian name, does
it? And " he hesitated, " you speak w^onderful Eng-
lish ! "
I saw the safest plan was to make a clean breast of it. He
looked the sort of man one could trust on an emergency.
" You have heard of the Ashurst will case ? " I said, blurt-
ing it out suddenly.
" I have seen something about it in the newspapers ; yes-.
But it did not interest me : I have not followed it."
I told him the whole truth ; the case against us — the facts
The Oriental Attendant 3^3
as we knew them. Then I added slowly: "This is Mr.
Harold Tillington, whom they accuse of forgery. Does he
look like a forger ? I want to marry him before he is tried.
It is the only way by which I can prove my implicit trust in
him. As soon as we are married, he will give himself up at
once to the police — if you wish it, before your eyes. But
married we must be. Can't you manage it somehow ? "
My pleading voice touched him. " Harold Tillington ? "
he murmured. " I know of his forbears. Lady Guinevere
Tillington' s son, is it not ? Then you must be Younger of
GledclifFe." For Scotland is a village ; everyone in it seems
to have heard of every other.
" What does he mean ? " I asked. " Younger of Gled-
cliffe ? " I remembered now that the phrase had occurred
in Mr. Ashurst's will, though I never understood it.
" A Scotch fashion," Harold answered. " The heir to a
laird is called Younger of so-and-so. My father has a small
estate of that name in Dumfriesshire, — a very small estate ; I
was born and brought up there."
" Then you are a Scotchman ? " the minister asked.
" Yes," Harold answered frankly ; " by remote descent.
We are trebly of the female line at Gledcliffe ; still, I am no
doubt more or less Scotch by domicile."
" Younger of Gledcliffe ! Oh, yes, that ought certainly
to be quite sufficient for our purpose. Do 3'ou live there ? "
" I have been living there lately. I always live there
when I 'm in Britain. It is my only home. I belong to
the diplomatic service."
" But then— the lady ? "
" She is unmitigatedly English," Harold admitted, in a
gloomy voice.
3H Miss Caylcy's Adventures
" Not quite," I answered. " I lived four years in Edin-
burgh. And I spent my liolidays there while I was at
Girton. I keep my boxes still at my old rooms in Maitland
Street."
" Oh, that will do," the minister answered, quite relieved;
for it was clear that our anxiety and the touch of romance in
our tale had enlisted him in our favour. " Indeed, now I
come to think of it, it suffices for the Act if one only of the
parties is domiciled in Scotland. And as Mr. Tillington
lives habitually at Gledcliffe, that settles the question.
Still, I can do nothing save marry you now by religious
service in the presence of my servants — which constitutes
what we call an ecclesiastical marriage — it becomes legal if
afterwards registered ; and then you must apply to the sheriff
for a warrant to register it. But I will do what I can ; later
on, if you like, you can be re-married by the rites of your
own Church in England."
" Are you quite sure our Scotch domicile is good enough
in law ? " Harold asked, still doubtful.
" I can turn it up, if you wish. I have a legal hand-book.
Before Lord Brougham's Act, no formalities were necessary.
But the Act was passed to prevent Gretna Green marriages.
The usual phrase is that such a marriage does not hold good
unless one or other of the parties either has had his or her
usual residence in Scotland, or else has lived there for
twenty-one days immediately preceding the date of the mar-
riage. If you like, I will wait to consult the authorities."
" No, thank you," I cried. " There is no time to lose.
Marry us first, and look it up afterwards. ' One or other '
will do, it seems. Mr. Tillington is Scotch enough, I am
sure ; he has no address in Britain but Gledcliffe ; we will
The Oriental Attendant 315
rest our claim upon that. Even if the marriage turns out
invahd, we only remain where we were. This i.s a pre-
liminary ceremony to prove good faith, and to bind us to
one another. We can satisfy the law, if need be, when we
return to England."
The minister called in his wife and servants, and explained
to them briefly. He exhorted us and prayed. We gave our
solemn consent in legal form before two witnesses. Then
he pronounced us duly married. In a quarter of an hour
more, we had made declaration to that effect before the
sheriff, the witnesses accompanying us, and were formally
affirmed to be man and wife before the law of Great Britain.
I asked if it would hold in England as well.
" You could n't be firmer married," the sheriff said, with
decision, " by the Archbishop of Canterbury in Westminster
Abbey."
Harold turned to the minister. "Will you send for the
police ? " he said, calmly. " I wish to inform them that I
am the man for whom they are looking in the Ashurst will
case."
Our own cabman went to fetch them. It was a terrible
moment. But Harold sat in the sheriff's study and waited,
as if nothing uiuisual were happening. He talked freely but
quietly. Never in my life had I felt vSo proud of him.
At last the police came, much inflated with the dignity of
so great a capture, and took down our statement. " Do you
give yourself in charge on a confession of forgery?" the
superintendent asked, as Harold ended.
" Certainly not," Harold answered. " I have not com-
mitted forgery. But I do not wish to skulk or hide myself.
I understand a warrant is out against me in London. I
3i6
Miss Caylcy's Adventures
have come to Scotland, hurriedly, for the sake of getting
married, not to escape apprehension. I am here, openly,
under my own name. I tell you the facts : 't is for you to
decide ; if you choose, you can arre.st me."
The superinten-
dent conferred for
some time in an-
other room with
the sheriff. Then
he returned to the
study. "Very
well, sir," he
said, in a respect-
ful tone, ' ' I arrest
you."
So that was the
beginning of our
married life.
More than ever,
I felt sure I could
trust in Harold.
The police de-
cided, after hear-
ing by telegram
from L,ondon, that
we must go up at
once by the night
express, which they stopped for the purpose. They were
forced to divide us. I took the sleeping car ; Harold trav-
elled with two constables in an ordinary carriage. Strange
to say, notwithstanding all this, so great was our relief from
M^ u
I HAVE FOUND A CLUE.
The Oriental Attendant 317
the tension of our flight, that we both slept soundly. Next
morning we arrived in London, Harold guarded. The police
had arranged that the case should come up at Bow Street
that afternoon. It was not an ideal honeymoon, and yet, I
was somehow happy.
At King's Cross, they took him away from me. Still, I
hardly cried. All the way up in the train, whenever I was
awake, an idea had been haunting me — a possible clue to this
trickery of Lord Southminster's. Petty details cropped up
and fell into their places. I began to unravel it all now. I
had an inkling of a plan to set Harold right again.
The will we had proved but I must not anticipate.
When we parted, Harold kissed me on the forehead, and
murmured rather sadly, " Now, I suppose it 's all up. Lois,
I must go. These rogues have been too much for us."
" Not a bit of it," I answered, new hope growing stronger
and stronger within me. " I see a way out. I have found
a clue. I believe, dear Harold, the right will still be vindi-
cated."
And red-eyed as I was, I jumped into a hansom, and called
to the cabman to drive at once to Lady Georgina's.
CHAPTER XII
THK ADVENTURE OF THE UNPROFESSIONAL DETECTIVE
"IS Lady Georgina at home ? " The discreet man-servant
1^ in sober black clothes eyed me suspiciously. " No,
miss," he answered. " That is to say — no, ma'am.
Her ladyship is still at Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's — the late
Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst, I mean — in Park Lane North.
You know the number, ma'am ? "
** Yes, I know it," I replied, with a gasp ; for this was in-
deed a triumph. My one fear had been lest Lord South-
minster should already have taken possession — why, you will
see hereafter; and it relieved me to learn that Lady Georgina
was still at hand to guard my husband's interests. She had
been living at the house, practically, since her brother's
death. I drove round with all speed, and flung myself into
my dear old lady's arms.
" Kiss me," I cried, flushed. " I am your niece ! " But
she knew it already, for our movements had been fully re-
ported by this time (with picturesque additions) in the
morning papers. Imagination, ill-developed in the English
race, seems to concentrate itself in the lower order of
journalists.
She kissed me on both cheeks with unwonted tenderness.
318
The Unprofessional Detective 319
" Lois," she cried, with tears in her eyes, " you 're a
brick ! " It was not exactly poetical at such a moment, but
from her it meant more than much gushing phraseology.
" And you 're here in possession ! " I murmured.
The Cantankerous Old Lady nodded. She was in her
element, I must admit. She dearly loved a row — above all,
a family row ; but to be in the thick of a family row, and to
feel herself in the right, with the law against her — that was
joy such as Lady Georgina had seldom before experienced.
" Yes, dear," .she burst out volubly, " I 'm in po.sse.ssion,
thank Heaven! And what 's more, they won't oust me
without a legal process. I 've been here, off and on, you
know, ever since poor dear Marmy died, looking after things
for Harold ; and I .shall look after them .still, till Bertie
Southminster succeeds in ejecting me, which won't be easy.
Oh, I 've held the fort by main force, I can tell you ; held
it like a Trojan. Bertie 's in a precious hurry to move in,
I can .see ; but I won't allow him. He 's been down here
this morning, fatuou.sly blu.stering, and trying to carry the
pest by storm, with a couple of policemen."
" Policemen ! " I cried. " To turn you out ? "
" Yes, my dear, policemen; but (the Lord be praised!) I
was too much for him. There are legal formalities to fulfil
yet ; and I won't budge an inch, Lois, not one inch, my dear,
till he 's fulfilled every one of them. Mark my words, child,
that boy 's up to some devilry."
" He is," I answered.
" Yes, he would n't be in such a rampaging hurry to get
in — being as lazy as he 's empty-headed — takes after Gwen-
doline in that — if he had n't some excellent reason for
wishing to take possession : and depend upon it, the reason
320 Miss Cayley's Adventures
is that he wants to get hold of something or other that 's
Harold's. But he sha'n't if I can help it ; and, thank my
stars, I 'm a dour woman to reckon with. If he comes, he
comes over my old bones, child. I 've been overhauling
everything of Marmy's, I can tell you, to checkmate the boy
if I can ; but I 've found nothing yet, and till I 've satisfied
1 'VK llKl.I) Till-: I'OKT IIY MAIN KORCK
myself on that point, I '11 hold the fort still, if I have to
barricade that pasty-faced scoundrel of a nephew of mine out
by piling the furniture against the front door — I will, as sure
as my name 's Georgina Fawley ! "
" I know you will, dear," I assented, kissing her, '* and
so I shall venture to leave you, while I go out to institute
another little enquiry."
The Unprofessional Detective 32 j
" What enquiry ? "
I shook my head. " It 's only a surmise," I said, hesitat-
ing. " I '11 tell you about it later. I 've had time to think
while I 've been coming back in the train, and I 've thought
of many things. Mount guard till I return, and mind you
don't let Lord Southminster have access to anything."
" I '11 shoot him first, dear." And I believe she meant it.
I drove on in the same cab to Harold's solicitor. There I
laid my fresh doubts at once before him. He rubbed his
bony hands. " You 've hit it ! " he cried, charmed. " My
dear madam, you 've hit it ! I never did like that will. I
never did like the signatures, the witnesses, the look of it.
But what could I do ? Mr. Tillington propounded it. Of
course it was n't my bu.siness to go dead against my own
client."
"Then you doubted Harold's honour, Mr. Hayes?" I
cried, flushing.
" Never ! " he answered. " Never ! I felt sure there
must be some mistake somewhere, but not any trickery on —
your husband's part. Now, jou supply the right clue. We
must look into it immediately."
He hurried round with me at once in the same cab to the
court. The incriminated will had been " impounded," as
they call it ; but, under certain restrictions, and subject to
the closest surveillance, I was allowed to examine it with my
husband's solicitor, before the eyes of the authorities. I
looked at it long with the naked eye and also with a small
pocket lens. The paper, as I had noted before, was the same
kind of foolscap as that which I had been in the habit of
using at my office in Florence ; and the typewriting — was it
mine ? The longer I looked at it, the more I doubted it.
322
Miss Caylcy's Adventures
After a careful examination I turned round to our solicitor.
" Mr. Hayes," I said, firmly, having arrived at my conclu-
sion, ** this is not the document I typewrote at Florence."
* ' How do you know ? " he asked. ' ' A different machine ?
Some small peculiarity in the shape of the letters ? "
NEVKK ! " IIK ANSWERF.I). " NK\ KR !'
" No, the rogue who typed this will was too cunning for
that. He did n't allow himself to be foiled by such a scholar's
mate. It is written with a Spread E:igle, the same sort of
machine precisely as my own. I know the type perfectly.
But " I hesitated.
" But what?"
" Well, it is difficult to explain. There is character in
The Unprofessional Detective 3-3
tj''pewriting, just as there is in handwriting, only, of course,
not quite so much of it. Every operator is liable to his own
peculiar tricks and blunders. If I had some of my own type-
written manuscript here to show you, I could soon make that
evident."
" I can easily believe it. Individuality runs through all
we do, however seemingly mechanical. But are the points
of a sort that you could make clear in court to the satisfaction
of a j ury ? ' '
" I think so. Look here, for example. Certain letters
get habitually mixed up in typewriting ; c and v stand next
one another on the keyboard of the machine, and the per.son
who typed this draft sometimes strikes a c instead of a v, or
2'?V<? versa. I never do that. The letters I tend to confuse
are .y and re, or else e and r, which also come very near one
another in the arbitrary arrangement. Besides, when I type-
wrote the original of this will, I made no errors at all ; I took
such very great pains about it."
" And this person did make errors ? "
" Yes ; struck the wrong letter first, and then corrected it
often by striking another rather hard on top of it. See, this
was a V to begin with, and he turned it into a c. Besides,
the hand that wrote this will is heavier than mine : it comes
down thump, thump, thump, while mine glides lightly. And
the hyphens are used with a space between them, and the
character of the punctuation is not exactly as I make it."
" Still," Mr. Hayes objected, " we have nothing but your
word. I 'm afraid, in such a case, we could never induce a
jury to accept your unsupported evidence."
" I don't want them to accept it," I answered. " I am
looking this up for my own satisfaction. I want to know,
3^4 Miss Cayley's Adventures
first, who wrote this will. And of one thing I am quite
clear : it is not the document I drew up for Mr. Ashurst.
Just look at that x. The x alone is conclusive. My type-
writer had the upper right-hand stroke of the small x badly
formed, or broken, while this one is perfect. I remember it
well, because I used always to improve all my lower-case .r's
with a pen when I re-read and corrected. I see their dodge
clearly now. It is a most diabolical conspiracy. Instead of
forging a will in Lord Southminster's favour, thej' ha/e sub-
stituted a forgery for the real will, and then managed to make
my poor Harold prove it."
" In that case, no doubt, they have destroyed the real one,
the original," Mr. Hayes put in.
" I don't think so," I answered, after a moment's delibera-
tion. " From what I know of Mr. Ashurst, I don't believe
it is likely he would havx left his will about carelessly any-
where. He was a secretive man, fond of mysteries and
mystifications. He would be sure to conceal it. Besides,
Lady Georgina and Harold have been taking care of every-
thing in the house ever since he died."
" But," Mr. Hayes objected, " the forger of this docu-
ment, supposing it to be forged, must have had access to the
original, since you say the terms of the two are identical ;
only the signatures are forgeries. And if he saw and copied
it, why might he not also have destroyed it ? "
A light flashed across me all at once. " The iox^^r did
see the original," I cried, " but not the fair copy. I have
it all now ! I detect their trick ! It conies back to me
vividly ! When I had finished typing the copy at Florence
from my first rough draft, which I had taken down on the
machiue before Mr. Ashurst's eyes, I remember now that I
The Unprofessional Detective 325
threw the original into the waste-paper basket. It must
have been there that evening when Higginson called and
asked for the will to take it back to Mr. Ashurst. He called
for it, no doubt, hoping to open the packet before he delivered
it and make a copy of the document for this very purpose.
But I refused to let him have it. Before he saw me, how-
ever, he had been left by himself for ten minutes in the
office ; for I remember coming out to him and finding him
there alone ; and during that ten minutes, being what he is,
you may be sure he fished out the rough draft and appropri-
ated it !"
" That is more than likely," my solicitor nodded, " You
are tracking him to his lair. We shall have him in our
power. ' '
I grew more and more excited as the whole cunning plot
unravelled itself mentally step by step before me. " He
must then have gone to Lord Southminster," I went on,
** and told him of the legacy he expected from Mr. Ashurst.
It was five hundred pounds — a mere trifle to Higginson,
who plays for thousands. So he must have offered to
arrange matters for Lord Southminster if Southminster
would consent to make good that sum and a great deal more
to him. That odious little cad told me himself on \.\\^ Jumna
they were engaged in pulling off ' a big coup ' between them.
He thought then I would marry him, and that he would so
secure my connivance in his plans ; but who would marry
such a piece of moist clay ? Besides, I could never have
taken anyone but Harold."
Then another clue came home to me. ** Mr. Hayes," I
cried, jumping at it, " Higgiii.son, who forged this will, never
saw the real document itself at all ; he saw only the draft ;
326
Miss Cayley's Adventures
for Mr. Asluirst altered one word viva voce in the original at
the last moment, and I made a pencil note of it on my cuff
at the time : and see, it is n't here, though I inserted it in
the final clean copy of the will — the word ' especially.' It
grows upon me more and more each minute that the real iu-
\VE SHALL HAVE IIIM IN OUR I'OWER.
strument is hidden .somewhere in Mr. A.shunst's house —
Harold's house — our house; and that because it is there Lord
Southminster is so indecently anxious to oust his aunt and
take instant possession."
" In that case," Mr. Hayes remarked, " we had better go
back to Lady Georgina wilhout onu minute's delay, and,
The Unprofessional Detective 327
while she still holds the house, institute a thorough search
for it."
No sooner said than done. We jumped again into our
cab and started. As we drove back, Mr. Hayes asked me
where I thought we were most likely to find it.
" In a secret drawer in Mr. Ashurst's desk," I answered,
by a flash of instinct, without a second's hesitation.
" How do you know there 's a secret drawer ? "
" I don't know it. I infer it from my general knowledge
of Mr. Ashurst's character. He loved secret drawers,
ciphers, cryptograms, mystery-mongering."
" But it was in that desk that your husband found the
forged document," the lawyer objected.
Once more I had a flash of inspiration or intuition. " Be-
cause White, Mr. Ashurst's valet, had it in readiness in his
possession," I answered, " and hid it there, in the most
obvious and unconcealed place he could find, as soon as the
breath was out of his master's body. I remember now that
lyord Southminster gave himself away to some extent in that
matter. The hateful little creature is n't really clever
enough, for all his cunning, — and with Higginson to back
him, — to mix himself up in such tricks as forgery. He told
me at Aden he had had a telegram from ' Marmy's valet,' to
report progress ; and he received another, the night Mr.
Ashurst died, at Moozuffernuggar. Depend upon it. White
was more or less in this plot ; Higginson left him the forged
will when they started for India; and, as soon as Mr. Ashurst
died. White hid it where Harold was bound to find it."
" If so," Mr. Hayes answered, " that 's well ; we have
something to go upon. The more of them the better. There
is safety in numbers — for the honest folk. I never knew
328 Miss Cayley's Adventures
three rogues hold long together, especially when threatened
with a crimi nal prosecution. Their confederacy breaks down
before the chance of punishment. Each tries to screen him-
self by betraying the others."
" Higginson was the soul of the plot," I went on. " Of
that you may be sure. He 's a wily old fox, but we '11 run
him to earth yet. The more I think of it, the more I feel
sure, from what I know of Mr. Ashurst's character, he
would never have put that will in so exposed a place as the
one where Harold says he found it."
We drew up at the door of the disputed house just in time
for the siege. Mr. Hayes and I walked in. We found Lady
Georgina face to face with Lord Southminster. The oppos-
ing forces were still at the stage of preliminaries of warfare.
" Look heah," the pea-green young man was observing,
in his drawling voice, as we entered ; " it 's no use your
talking, deah Georgey. This house is mine, and I won't
have you meddling with it."
" This house is not yours, you odious little scamp," his
aunt retorted, raising her shrill voice some notes higher
than usual ; " and ' ile I can hold a stick you shall not
come inside it."
" Very well, then ; you drive me to hostilities, don't yah
know. I 'm sorry to show disrespect to your grey hairs — if any
— but I shall be obliged to call in the police to eject yah."
" Call them in if you like," I answered, interposing be-
tween them. " Go out and get them ! Mr. Hayes, while
he 's gone, send for a carpenter to break open the back of
Mr. Ashurst's escritoire."
" A carpentah ? " he cried, turning several degrees whiter
than his pasty won't. " What for ? A carpentah ? "
The Unprofessional Detective 329
I spoke distinctl3\ " Because we have reason to believe
Mr. Ashurst's real will is concealed in this house in a secret
drawer, and because the keys were in the possession of
White, whom we believe to be your accomplice in this shal-
low conspiracy."
He gasped and looked alanned. " No you don't," he
cried, stepping briskly forward. " You don't, I tell yah !
Break open Marmy's desk ! Why, hang it all, it 's my
property."
" We shall see about that after we 've broken it open," I
answered grimly. " Here, this screw-driver will do. The
back 's not strong. Now, your help, Mr. Hayes — one, two,
three ; we can prise it apart between us."
Lord Southminster rushed up and tried to prevent us.
But Lady Georgina, seizing both wrists, held him tight as
in a vice with her dear skinny old hands. He writhed and
struggled all in vain : he could not escape her. " I 've
often spanked you, Bertie," she cried, " and if you attempt
to interfere, I '11 spank you again ; that' s the long and the
short of it ! "
He broke from her and rushed out, to call the police, I
believe, and prevent our desecration of pooah Marmy's
property.
Inside the first shell were several locked drawers, and two
or three open ones, out of one of which Harold had fished
the false will. Instinct taught me somehow that the central
drawer on the left-hand side was the compartment behind
which lay the secret receptacle. I prised it apart and peered
about inside it. Presently I saw a slip-panel, which I
touched with one finger. The pigeon-hole flew open and
disclosed a narrow slit. I clutched at something — the will !
330
Miss Cayley's Adventures
Ho, victory, the will ! I raised it aloft with a wild shout.
Not a doubt of it ! The real, the genuine document !
We turned it over and read it. It was my own fair copy,
written at Florence, and
bearing all the small
marks of authenticit}'^
about it which I had
pointed out to Mr. Hayes
as wanting to the forged
and impounded document.
Fortunately, Lady Geor-
gina and four of the ser-
vants had stood by
throughout this scene, and
had watched our demean-
o u r , as well as Lord
Southminster's.
We turned next to the
signatures. The princi-
pal one was clearly Mr.
Ashurst's — I knew it at
once — his legible fat hand,
" Marmaduke Courtney
Ashurst."
And then the witnesses ?
They fairly took our
breath awa3\
" Why, Higginson's sister is n't one of them at all," Mr.
Hayes cried, astonished.
A flush of remorse came over me. I saw it all now. I
had misjudged that poor woman ! She had the misfortune
VICTOKY.
The Unprofessional Detective 33 1
to be a rogue's sister, but, as Harold had said, was herself a
most respectable and blameless person. Higginson must
have forged her name to the document ; that was all ; and
she had naturallj' sworn that she never signed it. He knew
her honesty. It was a master-stroke of rascality.
" The other one is n't here, either," I exclaimed, growing
more puzzled. " The waiter at the hotel ! Why, that 's
another forgery ! Higginson must have waited till the man
was safely dead, and then used him similarly. It was all
very clever. Now, who are these people who really wit-
nessed it ? "
" The first one," Mr. Ha5'es said, examining the hand-
writing, " is Sir Roger Bland, the Dorsetshire baronet :
he 's dead, poor fellow ; but he was at Florence at the time,
and I can answer for his signature. He was a client of
mine, and died at Mentone. The second is Captain Rich-
ards, of the Mounted Police : he 's living still, but he 's
away in South Africa."
" Then they risked his turning up ? "
" If they knew who the real witnesses were at all — which
is doubtful. You see, as you say, they may have seen the
rough draft only."
" Higginson would know," I answered. " He was with
Mr. Ashurst at Florence at the time, and he would take good
care to keep a watch upon his movements. In my belief, it
was he who suggested this whole plot to Lord Southminster."
" Of course it was," Lady Georgina put in. " That 's
absolutely certain. Bertie 's a rogue as well as a fool ; but
he 's too great a fool to invent a clever roguery, and too
great a knave not to join in it foolishly when anybody else
takes the pains to invent it."
332 Miss Cayley's Adventures
" And it 7vas a clever roguery," Mr. Hayes interposed.
" All ordinary rascal would have forged a later will in
Lord Southniinster's favour and run the lisk of detection ;
Higginson had the acuteness to forge a will exactly like the
real one, and to let your husband bear the burden of the
forgery. It was as sagacious as it was ruthless."
" The next point," I said, " will be for us to prove it."
At that moment the bell rang, and one of the house-
servants — all puzzled by this conflict of interests — came in
with a telegram, which he handed me on a salver. I broke
it open, without glancing at the envelope. Its contents
baffled me : " My address is Hotel Bristol, Paris ; name as
usual. Send me a thousand pounds on account at once. I
can't afford to wait. No shillyshallying."
The message was unsigned. For a moment, I could n't
imagine who sent it, or what it was driving at.
Then I took up the envelope. " Viscount Southminster,
24 Park lyane North, L,ondon."
My heart gave a jump. I saw in a second that chance,
or Providence, had delivered the conspirators into my hands
that day. The telegram was from Higginson ! I had opened
it by accident.
It was obvious what had happened. Lord Southminster
must have written to him on the result of the trial, and told
him he meant to take possession of his uncle's house im-
mediately. Higginson had acted on that hint, and addressed
his telegram where he thought it likely Lord Southminster
would receive it earliest. I had opened it in error, and that,
too, was fortunate, for even in dealing with such a pack of
scoundrels, it would never have occurred to me to violate
somebody else's correspondence had I not thought it was
The Unprofessional Detective 333
addressed to me. But having arrived at the truth thus un-
intentionally, I had, of course, no scruples about making
full use of my information.
I showed the despatch at once to Lady Georgina and Mr.
Hayes. They recognised its importance. " What next ? "
I enquired. " Time presses. At half- past three Harold
comes up for examination at Bow Street."
Mr.. Hayes was ready with an apt expedient. " Ring the
bell for Mr. Ashurst's valet," he said, quietly. " The mo-
ment has now arrived when we can begin to set these con-
spirators by the ears. As soon as they learn that we know
all, they will be eager to inform upon one another."
I raifg the bell. " Send up White," I said. " We wish
to speak to him."
The valet stole up, self-accused, a timid, servile creature,
rubbing his hands nervously, and suspecting mischief. He
was a rat in trouble. He had thin brown hair, neatly brushed
and plastered down, so as to make it still thinner, and his
face was the average narrow cunning face of the dishonest
man-servant. It had an ounce of wile in it to a pound or
two of servility. He seemed just the sort of rogue meanly
to join in an underhand conspiracy, and then meanly to
back out of it. You could read at a glance that his principle
in life was to sav^e his own bacon.
He advanced, fumbling his hands all the time, and smiling
and fawning. " You wished to see me, sir ? " he murmured,
in a deprecatory voice, looking sideways at Lady Georgina
and me, but addressing the lawyer,
*' Yes, White, I wished to see you. I have a question to
ask you. IV/io put the forged will in Mr. Ashurst's desk ?
Was it you, or some other person ? "
334
Miss Caylcy's Adventures
The question terrified him. He changed colour and
gasped. But he rubbed his hands harder than ever and
affected a sickly smile. " Oh, sir, how should /know, sir?
/ had nothing to do with it. I suppose — it was Mr. Tilling-
ton."
" YOU WISHKI) TO SEK ME, SIR?"
Our lawyer pounced upon him like a hawk on a titmouse.
" Don't prevaricate with me, sir," he said, sternly. " If
you do, it may be worse for you. This case has assumed
quite another aspect. It is you and your a.ssociates who
will be placed in the dock, not Mr. Tillington. You had
The Unprofessional Detective 335
better speak the truth ; it is your one chance, I warn you.
Lie to me, and instead of calling you as a witness for our
case, I shall include you in the indictment."
White looked down uneasily at his shoes, and cowered.
" Oh, sir, I don't understand you."
" Yes you do. You understand me, and you know I mean
it. Wriggling is useless ; we intend to prosecute. We have
unravelled this vile plot. We know the whole truth. Higgin-
son and Lord Southminster forged a will between them "
" Oh, sir, not Lord Southminster ! His lordship, I 'm
sure ' '
Mr. Hayes's keen eye had noted the subtle shade of dis-
tinction and admission. But he said nothing openly.
" Well, then, Higginson forged, and Lord Southminster
accepted, a false will, which purported to be Mr. Marmaduke
Ashurst's. Now, follow me clearly. That will could not
have been put into the escritoire during Mr. Ashurst's life,
for there would have been risk of his discovering it. It must,
therefore, have been put there afterward. The moment he
was dead, you, or somebody else with your consent and con-
nivance, slipped it into the escritoire ; and you afterwards
showed Mr. Tillington the place where you had set it or seen
it set, leading him to believe it was Mr. Ashurst's will, and
so involved him in all this trouble. Note that that was a
felonious act. We accuse you of felony. Do you mean to
confess, and give evidence on our behalf, or will you force
me to send for a policeman to arrest you ? ' '
The cur hesitated still. " Oh, sir," drawing back, and
fumbling his hands on his breast, " you don't mean it."
Mr. Hayes was prompt. " Hesslegrave, go for a police-
mdU."
33^ Miss Cayley's Adventures
That curt sentence brought the rogue on his marrow-bones
at once. He clasped his hands and debated inwardly. " If
I tell you all I know," he said, at last, looking about him
with an air of abject terror, as if he thought Lord South-
minster or Higginson would hear him, " will you promise
not to prosecute me?" His tone became insinuating.
" For a hundred pounds I could find the real will for you.
You 'd better close with me. To-day is the last chance.
As soon as his lordship comes in, he '11 hunt it up and
destroy it."
I flourished it before him, and pointed with one hand to
the broken desk, which he had not yet observed in his craven
agitation.
" We do not need your aid," I answered. "We have
found the will, ourselves. Thanks to Lady Georgina, it is
safe till this minute."
" And to me," he put in, cringing, and trying after his
kind to curry favour with the winners at the last moment.
" It 's all my doing, my lady! I would n't destroy it. His
lordship offered me a hundred pounds more to break open
the back of the desk at night, while your ladyship was asleep,
and burn the thing quietly. But I told him he might do his
own dirty work if he wanted it done. It was n't good enough
while your ladyship was here in possession. Besides, I
wanted the right will preserved, for I thought things might
turn up so ; and I would n't stand by and see a gentleman
like Mr. Tillington, as has always behaved well to me,
deprived of his inheritance."
" Which is why you conspired with Lord Southminster to
rob him of it, and to send him to prison for Higginson's
crime," I interposed ^almly.
The Unprofessional Detective 337
" Then you confess you put the forged will there ? " Mr.
Hayes said, getting to business.
White looked about him helplessly. He missed his head-
piece, the instigator of the plot. " Well, it was like this,
my lady," he began, turning to Lady Georgina, and wrig-
gling to gain time. " You see, his lordship and Mr. Higgin-
son " he twirled his thumbs and tried to invent something
plausible.
Lady Georgina swooped. " No rigmarole ! " she said,
sharply. ' ' Do you confess you put it there or do you not —
reptile ? ' ' Her vehemence startled him.
** Yes, I confess I put it there," he said at last, blinking.
" As soon as the breath was out of Mr. Ashurst's body I put
it there." He began to whimper. " I 'm a poor man with
a wife and family, sir," he went on, " though in Mr. Ashurst's
time I always kep' that quiet ; and his lordship offered to
pay me well for the job ; and when you 're paid well for a
job yourself, sir "
Mr. Hayes waved him off with one imperious hand. " Sit
down in the corner there, man, and don't move or utter an-
other word," he said, sternly, " until I order you. You will
be in time still for me to produce at Bow Street."
Just at that moment, Lord Southminster swaggered back,
accompanied by a couple of unwilling policemen. " Oh, I
say," he cried, bursting in and staring around him, jubilant.
" Look heah, Georgey, arc you going quietly, or must I ask
these coppahs to evict you ? " He was wreathed in smiles
now, and had evidently been fortifying himself with brandies
and soda.
Lady Georgina rose in her wrath. " Yes, I '11 go if you
wish it, Bertie," she answered, with calm irony. "I '11
33^ Miss Cayley's Adventures
leave the house as soon as you like — for the present — till we
come back again with Harold and /;« policemen to evict you.
This house is Harold's. Your game is played, boy." She
spoke slowly. " We have found the other will — we have
discovered Higginson's present address in Paris — and we
know from White how he and you arranged this little
conspiracy. ' '
She rapped out each clause in this last accusing sentence
with deliberate effect, like so many pistol-shots. Each bullet
hit home. The pea-green young man, drawing back and
staring, stroked his shadowy moustache with feeble fingers
in undisguised astonishment. Then he dropped into a chair
and fixed his gaze blankly on Lady Georgina. " Well, this
is a fair knock-out," he ejaculated, fatuously disconcerted.
** I wish Higginson was heah. I really don't quite know
what to do without him. That fellah had squared it all up
so neatly, don't yah know, that I thought there could n't be
any sort of hitch in the proceedings."
"You reckoned without Lois," Lady Georgina said,
calmly.
" Ah, Miss Cayley — that 's true. I mean, Mrs. Tillington.
Yaas, yaas, I know, she 's a doosid clevah person — for a wo-
man— now is n't she ? "
It was impossible to take this flabby creature seriously,
even as a criminal. Lady Georgina's lips relaxed. "Doosid
clever," she admitted, looking at me almost tenderly.
" But not quite so clevah, don't yah know, as Higgin-
son ! "
" There you make your blooming little erraw," Mr.
Hayes burst in, adopting one of Lord Southminster's
favourite witiicisms— the sort of witticism that improves,
The Unprofessional Detective 339
like poetry, by frequent repetition. " Policemen, you may
go into the next room and wait ; this is a family aifair ; we
have no immediate need of you."
" Oh, certainly," Lord Southminster echoed, much re-
lieved. " Very propah sentiment! Most undCvSirable that
the constables should mix themselves up in a family mattah
like this. Not the place for inferiahs ! "
"well, this is a fair knock-out," he ejaculated.
" Then why introduce them ? " Lady Georgina burst out,
turning on him.
He smiled his fatuous smile. " That 's just what I say,"
he answered. ' ' Why the jooce introduce them ? But don't
snap my head off ! "
The policemen withdrew respectfully, glad to be relieved
of this unpleasant business, where they could gain no credit,
and might possibly involve themselves in a charge of assault.
340 Miss Cayley's Adventures
Lord Southminster rose with a benevolent grin, and looked
about him pleasantly. The brandies and soda had endowed
him with irrepressible cheerfulness.
" Well, I think I '11 leave now, Georgey. You 've
trumped my ace, yah know. Nasty trick of White to go
and round on a fellah. I don't like the turn this business is
taking. Seems to me, the only way I have left to get out
of it is — to turn Queen's evidence."
Lady Georgina planted herself firmly against the door.
" Bertie," she cried, " no, you don't — not till we 've got
what we want out of you ! ' '
He gazed at her blandly. His face broke once more into
an imbecile smile. ' ' You were always a rough ' un, Georgey.
Your hand did sting ! Well, what do you want now ? We ' ve
each played our cards, and you need n't cut up rusty over it
— especially when you 're winning ! Hang it all, I wish I
had Higginson heah to tackle you ! "
" If you go to see the Treasury people, or the Solicitor-
General, or the Public Prosecutor, or whoever else it may
be," Lady Georgina said, stoutly, " Mr. Hayes must go
with you. We 've trumped your ace, as you say, and we
mean to take advantage of it. And then you must trundle
yourself down to Bow Street afterwards, confess the whole
truth, and set Harold at liberty. ' '
" Oh, I say now, Georgey ! The whole truth ! the whole
blooming truth ! That 's really what I call humiliating a
fellah !"
" If you don't, we arrest you this minute — fourteen years'
imprisonment ! "
" Fourteen yeahs ? " He wiped his forehead. " Oh, I
say ! How doosid uncomfortable ! I was nevah much good
The Unprofessional Detective 341
at doing anything by the sweat of my brow. I ought to
have lived in the Garden of Eden. Georgey, you 're hard
on a chap when he 's down on his hick. It would be con-
founded cruel to send me to fourteen yeahs at Portland. ' '
" You would have sent my husband to it," I broke in,
angrily, confronting him.
" What ? You, too, Miss Cayley ?— I mean Mrs. Tilling-
ton. Don't look at me like that. Tigahs are n't in it."
His jauntiness disarmed us. However wicked he might
be, one felt it would be ridiculous to imprison this schoolboy.
A sound flogging and a month's deprivation of wine and
cigarettes was the obvious punishment designed for him by
nature.
" You must go down to the police-court and confess this
whole conspiracy," Lady Georgina went on after a pause, as
sternly as she was able. " I prefer, if we can, to save the
family — even you, Bertie. But I can't any longer save the
family honour— I can only save Harold's. You must help
me to do that ; and then, you must give me your solemn
promise — in writing — to leave England for ever, and go to
live in South Africa."
He stroked the invisible moustache more nervously than
before. That penalty came home to him. " What, leave
England for evah ? Newmarket — Ascot — the club — the
music-halls ! "
" Or fourteen years' imprisonment ! "
" Georgey, you spank as hard as evah ! "
" Decide at once, or we arrest you ! "
He glanced about him feebly. I could see he was longing
for his lost confederate. " Well, I '11 go," he said at last,
sobering down ; " and your solicitaw can trot round with me.
342 Miss Cayley's Adventures
I '11 do all that you wish, though I call it most unfriendly.
Hang it all, fourteen yeahs would be so beastly unpleasant! "
We drove forthwith to the proper authorities, who, on
hearing the facts, at once arranged to accept Lord South-
minster and White as Queen's evidence, neither being the ac-
tual forger. We also telegraphed to Paris to have Higginson
arrested, Lord vSouthminster giving us up his assumed name
with the utmost cheerfulness, and without one moment's
compunction. Mr. Hayes was quite right : each conspirator
was only too ready to save himself by betraying his fellows.
Then we drove on to Bow Street (Lord Southminster con-
soling himself with a cigarette on the way), just in time for
Harold's case, which was to be taken, by special arrange-
ment, at 3.30.
A very few minutes sufficed to turn the tables completely
on the conspirators. Harold was discharged, and a warrant
was issued for the arrest of Higginson, the actual forger.
He had drawn up the false will and signed it with Mr.
Ashurst's name, after which he had presented it for Lord
Southminster's approval. The pea-green young man told
his tale with engaging frankness. " Bertie 's a simple
Simon," Lady Georgina commented to me ; " but he 's also
a rogue ; and Higginson saw his way to make excellent
capital of him in both capacities — first use him as a catspaw,
and then blackmail him."
On the steps of the police-court, as we emerged triumph-
antly. Lord Southminster met us — still radiant as ever. He
seemed wholly unaware of the depths of his iniquity; a fresh
dose of brandy had restored his composure. " Look heah,"
he said, " Harold, your wife has bested me ! Jolly good thing
for you that you managed to get hold of such a clevah wo-
Thj Unprofessional Detective
man! If you had n't, deah boy, you 'd have found yourself
in Queeah Street ! But I say, Lois — I call yah Lois because
you 're my cousin now, yah know — you were backing the
HAROLD, YOUR WIKE HAS I^F.STED ME!"
wrong man aftah all, as I told yah. For if you 'd backed
me, all this would n't have come out ; you 'd have got the
tin and been a countess as well, aftah the governah 's dead
and gone, don't yah see. You 'd have landed the double
344
Miss Cayley's Adventures
event. So j'oii 'd have pulled off a bettah thing for yourself
in the end, as I said, if you 'd laid your bottom doUah on
me for winnah ! "
Higginson is now doing fourteen years at Portland ;
Harold and I are happy in the sweetest place in Gloucester-
shire ; and Lord Southminster, blissfully unaware of the
contempt with which the rest of the world regards him, is
shooting big game among his "boys" in South Africa.
Indeed, he bears so little malice that he sent us a present of
a trophy of horns for our hall last winter.
THE END
IRew fiction*
Agatha Webb.
By Anna Katharine Grekn, author of ** The Leavenworth
Case," " That Affair Next Door," etc. 12°, cloth, $1 25
"Agatha Webb" is the most absorbing story that has appeared during
the past few years. It is deemed by those acquainted with Anna Katharine
(Ireen's works to be the most notable achievement of her pen. The scene
of the story is laid in a staid New England village, not far from Boston.
Agatha Webb and her servant are found dead. The task of unravelling
the mystery begins at once, and the narrative is woven together with such
consummate skill that the guilt points in turn to a number of persons.
The author builds up the most astonishing case of circumstantial evidence
against each of them in turn, only later to upset the reader's fine-spun
theories. The solution of the mystery, which is revealed in an intensely
dramatic court scene, is the most astonishing feature of the book. In ad-
dition to the attraction of the mystery, there is a fascinating love-story.
Children of the Mist.
By Eden Phillpotts, author of *' Down Dartmoor Way,"
" Lying Prophets," etc. 4th edition. 8° . . $1 50
" This novel stands head and shoulders above its neighbors [speaking of works pre-
viously mentioned in article] ... a story of uncommon power, and rare in its fine
quality of imagination and poetic beauty."— Mr. Jamks MacArthur in an article in
The Outlook.
" One of the most creditable novels of the year ... a thorough mature piece of
Work."-A^. Y. Tribune. .
Miss Cayley's Adventures.
By Grant Allen, author of " Flowers and Their Pedigrees,"
etc. With 80 illustrations. 2d edition, 12° . $1 50
"One of the MOST DELIGHTFULLY JOLLY. ENTERTAINING, and FAS-
CINATING works that has ever come from Grant Allen's pen."— A't'a/ York World.
" A quaint and sparkling story— bright and entertaining from beginning to end." —
Chicago Times-Herald.
"Perfectly delightful from start to finish . . . bubbles with wit and humor. . . .
Miss Cayley's adventures are simply hevi'nc\\\n%."— Seattle Intelligencer,
Lone Pine.
The Story of a Lost Mine. By R. B. Townshend. 12°, $1.25
" A rattline good story of the Southwest. The tale is well built, and ends with an
exciting han\e7'—Buj^alo Express.
" A stirring tale of life among the Indians of New Mexico. The hero is an all-
conquering American with plenty of grit and good sense, successful in love as well as in
fighting Indians." — Burlington Free Press.
G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS, New York and London.
THE HUDSON LIBRARY.
Published bi-monthly. Entered as aecond-class matter. 16°, paper,
50 cents. Published also in cloth.
I. Love and Shawl-straps. By Annette I<ucille Noble.
a. Miss Hurd : An Enigma. By Anna Katharine Orebn.
.'). How Thankful Was Bewitched. By Jas. K. Dosmbr.
4. A Woman of Impulse. By Justin Huntley McCarthy.
5. The Countess Bettina. By Clinton Ross.
6. Her Majesty. By Elizabeth K. Tompkins.
7. Qod Forsaken. By Frederic Breton.
8. An island Princess. By Theodore Gift.
9. Elizabeth's Pretenders. By Hamilton AIdA.
10. At Tuxter's. By G. B. Buroin.
11. Cherryfield Hall. By F. H. Balfour.
13. The Crime of the Century. By R. Ottolenoui.
13. The Things that Matter. By Francis Gribblb.
14. The Heart of Life. By W. H. Mallock.
15. The Broken Ring. By Elizabeth K. Tompkins.
16. The Strange Schemes of Randolph Mason. By Melvills D. Post.
17.'^ That Affair Next Door. By Anna Katharine Green.
18. In the Crucible. By Grace Denio IyiTCHFiBl.D.
■9. Eyes Like the Sea. By Maurus J6kai.
ao. An Uncrowned King. By S. C. Grier.
ai. The Professor's Dilemma. By A. 1,. Noblb.
33. The Ways of Life. By Mrs. Oliphant.
33. The Man of the Family. By Christian Refd.
24. Margot. By Sidney Pickering.
35. The Fall of the Sparrow. By M. C. Balfour.
36. Elementary Jane. By Richard Pryce.
37. The Man of Last Resort. By Melville D. Post.
a8. Stephen Whapshare. By Emma Brooke.
3Q. Lost Man's Lane. By Anna Katharine Green.
30. Wheat in the Ear. By Alien.
31. As Having Nothing. By Hester Caldwell Oaklkv. /
33. The Chase of an Heiress. Bj Christian Reio.
33. Final Proof. By Rodrigues Ottolenoui.
34. The Wheel of Qod. By George Egerton.
35. John Marmaduke. By S. H. Church.
36. Hannah Thurston. By Bayard Taylor.
37. Yale Yarns. By J. S. Wood.
38. The Untold Half. By Alien.
39. Rosalba. By Olive P. Rayner.
40. Dr. Berkeley's Discovery. By R. Slbb and C. A. Pratt.
G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS, Nfiw York and London.
BY ANNA KATHARINE GREEN
The Leavenworth Case. A Lawyer's Story. 4**,
paper, 20 cents ; 16", paper, 50 cents ; cloth $1 00
Behind Closed Doors. 16°, paper, 50 cents ; cloth,
$1 00
The Sword of Damocles. A Story of New York
Life. 16°, paper, 50 cents ; clotli . $1 cx)
Cynthia Wal<eham's Money. With Frontispiece.
16°, paper, 50 cents ; cloth . . . $1 00
Hand and Ring. 16°, paper, illustrated, 50 cents ;
cloth $1 00
A Strange Disappearance. 16', paper, 50 cents ;
cloth ^I GO
The Mill Mystery. 16°, paper, 50 cents ; cloth, $1 00
The Old Stone House, and Other Stories. 16",
paper, 40 cents ; cloth . . . -75 cents
X. Y. Z. A Detective Story. 16", paper 25 cents
7 to 12. A Detective Story. Square 16°, paper,
25 cents
X. Y. Z. and 7 to 12, together, 16°, cloth . $1 00
Marked •* Personal." 16'', paper, 50 cents ; cloth,
$1 GO
Miss Hurd: An Enigma. 16°, paper, 50 cents;
cloth $1 00
The Doctor, His Wife, and the Clock. Oblong 32°,
limp cloth 50 cents
Dr. Izard. With Frontispiece. 16°, paper, 50 cents ;
cloth $1 00
That Affair Next Door. 16°, paper, 50 cents ; cloth,
$1 00
Lost Man's Lane. 16°, paper, 50 cents ; cloth, $1 00
Agatha Webb. 16°, [cloth, only] . . $1 00
G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS, New York and London
FICTION
BY R. OTTOLENGUI
An Artist In Crime. i6°, paper, 50 cents ; cloth . $1 00
A Conflict of Evidence. i6\ paper, 50 cents ; cloth |i 00
A Modern Wizard. 16', paper, 50 cents ; cloth . $1 00
See Hudson Library for "The Crime of the Century," and
" Final Proof," by the same author.
BY BEATRICE HARRADEN
Ships that Pass in the Night. Authorized American Edition.
16°, paper, 50 cents ; cloth |i 00
in Varying Moods. Copyright American Edition. 16°, paper,
50 cents ; cloth , |i 00
BY ANNETTE L. NOBLE
Uncle Jack's Executors. i6% paper, 50 cents ; cloth $1 00
Eunice Lathrop, Spinster. 16°, paper, 5c cents ; cloth $1 00
See Hudson Library for " Love and Shawlstraps," and "The
Professor's Dilemma," by the same author."
Harvard Stories. Sketches of the Undergraduate. By W. K.
Post. 12', paper, 50 cents ; cloth . . . . |i 00
The Final War. An Historical Romance of the Near Future.
By Louis Tracy. With 16 full-page illustrations. 16",
paper, 75 cents. Large 12°, cloth . . . |i 50
The Story of Margr^del. Being a Fireside History of a Fife-
shire Family. By David Storrar Mei^drum. Copyright
American Edition. 12°, paper, 50 cents ; cloth . $1 00
Tent Life in Siberia, and Adventures among the Koraks and
Other Tribes in Kamtchatka and Northern Asia. By
George Kennan. 12th edition. 12", paper, 50 cents;
cloth $1 25
The Great Fur Land, or Sketches of Life in the Hudson Bay
Territory. By H. M. Robinson, ^edition. Illustrated.
16", paper 50 cents
A Lady's Life In the Rocky Mountains. By Isabei.i,a Bird
BiSHOB. Illustrated. i6\ paper, 50 cents , 8°, cloth $1 75
Studies of Paris. By Edmundo de Amicis, author of " Con-
stantinople," etc. Translated by W. W. Cady. 16°, paper,
50 cents ; 8', cloth $1 25
.^i P. PUTNAM'S SONS, New York and London