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COUNSELS OF PRUDENCE.
SERMON,
WISDOM OF THE SERPENT
AND THE
INNOCENCE OF THE DOVE ;
IN WHICH ARE RECOMMENDED
General Rules of Prudence ; with particular Directions relating to Business
Convei'sation, Friendship, §• Usefulness,
FOR THE USE OF YOUNG PEOPLE.
BY NATHANIEL LARDNER, D. D.
First Published in the Year 1737.
f ■
LIVERPOOL, \j^
PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY F. B. WRIGHT,
No, 4, Swift's Court, Castle Street ;
Sold by David Eaton, No. 187, High Holborn, London ; and by the
Booksellers in general.
PRICE FOUR-PENCE.
1813,
V5
COUNSELS OF PRUDENCE.
Matt. x. 16.
Behold I send y on forth as sheep in the midst of wolves : Be
ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.
This advice is found among those directions, which our
blessed Lord gave his disciples, when he sent them from
him upon a commission in his life-time here on earth. —
" These twelve Jesus sent forth, saying : go not into the
way of the Gentiles, and into any city of the Samaritans
enter ye not ; but go rather to the lost sheep of the house
of Israel. And as ye go, preach, saying, the kingdom of
heaven is at hand. Heal the sick, cast out devils: freely
ye have received, freely give." Matt. x. 5 — 8.
It is reasonable to conclude, that the disciples received
this commission with much pleasure and satisfaction, ac-
counting it a great honor done them ; and conceiving at
the same time fond expectations of honor and acceptance
where-ever they came. They were to carry with them very
joyful and desirable tidings, that "the kingdom of heaven
was at hand : " they were empowered to confer very great
benefits, and were required to do all freely, without receiv-
ing any gratuity. The limitation in their commission could
not but be a high recommendation of it : the good news
was to be published to Jews, and them only, not to Gentiles,
nor to Samaritans.
But our Lord thought not fit to dismiss them without
some particular counsels and directions, which would be of
use to them now, but especially hereafter; when their com-
mission should receive an enlargement, both with regard to
the subject matter of their message, and the persons to
whom they were to carry it. And he judged it needful to
give them some hints of a different reception from what
they thought of, and some cautions to be upon their guard;
that they might not afford any just ground for miscon-
B
itroctiom or injurious reflections, nor do any thing that
ihouM tend to draw upon themselves .1 disagreeable treat-
ment He therefore tells them, "Behold I bend jroa forth
■1 iheep in the midst of wolves." 'You mean wet! your-
selves! and \ou think well of others. But 1 musl forewarn
you, that many to whom you are going, have selfish and
malicious dispositions, and are subtle and artful. * M Be ye
therefore wise as Serpents, and harmless as doves." * Main-
taining your present innocence and integrity, decline dan-
ger! as much as possible, and take care not to give any
ground tor re/lection upon your conduct.
This advice then of our savior to his disciples, will give
me JUSt occasion to recommend some rules and dw
of prudent conduct and behavior to those who are cnt< ring
upon the stage of action in the world. In doing which 1
shall take this method :
I. I shall represent the nature of prudence.
II. I shall show the necessity, grounds, and reasons of
prudence.
III. 1 intend to lay down some rules and directions con-
cerning a prudent conduct, with regard both to our words
and actions.
I. I shall represent the nature of prudence.
In general, it is a discerning and employing the n
proper means of obtaining those ends, which we prop
to ourselves. He who aims at his own advancement is pru-
dent, it he contrive a good scheme for that purpose, and
then put in practice tiie several parts of it with diligence
and discretion. If the qim\ aimed at be the good and wei-
fare of others, in any particular respect; then prudence
lies in taking tiiose methods, which are most likely to pro-
mote the advantage of those persons, and in doing that in
the way least prejudicial to ourselves, and most consistent
with our own safety.
It is an important branch of prudence to avoid faults.
One false step Sometimes ruins, or however greatly embar-
rasses and retards a good design. Therefore, prudent con-
duct depends more on great caution and circumspection
than ureat abilities. A blight genius i> necessary for pro-
ducing a tine composition. Courage and presence of mind
are needful for a hazardous undertaking; but circumspec-
tion alone, Mich caution as secures against errors and faults,
/::^kes UD a great part of prudent conduct, by preventing
many e\ds and inconveni' D<
Prudence likewise supposeth the maintaining of inno-
cence and integrity. We may not neglect our duty to
avoid danger. The principal wisdom is to approve our-
selves to God, and it is better to suffer any temporal evil,
than incur the Divine displeasure. These disciples of
Christ were to go out and preach, saying, " The kingdom
of heaven is at hand." That was the work assigned them
by their Lord and Master, which therefore it was their duty
to perform, and they could by no means decline. But they
might do it in the way, which would least expose them to
inconveniences, and was most likely to secure acceptance
to their message and themselves. This is prudence.
We are not, out of a pretence of discretion, to desert the
cause of truth. But we are to espouse it with safety, if we
can ; that is, maintain it in the way least offensive to
others, and least dangerous to ourselves.
Nor have we a right from any rules of prudence to use
unlawful methods to obtain our end. Our end is supposed
to be good, and the means must be so likewise. Thus far
of the nature of prudence.
II. I would now show the necessity, grounds, and rea-
sons of prudence. These are chiefly the wickedness and
weakness of men. The former is the reason, which our
Lord refers to. " Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the
midst of wolves ; be ye therefore wise as serpents." It is
upon this ground likewise, that St. Paul recommends the
practice of prudent caution ; " See then that ye walk cir-
cumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time,
because the days are evil." Eph. iv. 15, 16. Some men
are malicious and designing enemies to truth and virtue,
and to ail that are hearty friends of either. Good men
therefore are obliged to be upon their guard, and make use
of some methods of defence and security. Others are
weak and simple, and therefore liable to be misled and im-
posed upon by the insinuations of the subtle and malicious.
Nay, if there were no bad men, yet there would be need
of a prudent behavior, because some who have not much
reflection or experience, are apt to put wrong constructions
upon harmless actions.
This leads us somewhat farther into the nature of pru-
dence, and to observe a particular, which could not be so
well taken notice of before we had observed this ground
and reason of it. For a great part of prudence lies in de~
b 2 '
a
Hying ourselves, so n>> to keep some way within the limit-
of virtue. A good man, rf all about him were wise and
good, might be secure in his Innocence alone. It npght
then be surlicicnt to mean well, and to pursue direetl\ the
-I ends he has in \iew, without doing any harm in the
prosecution of them, lint now, on account of the wcak-
DeSfl of some, he must not only he innocent, hut he must
also obviate mist -onsti ructions and misrepresentations.
We may perceive this in an instance or two. Our Sa-
vior directs his disciples, at the eleventh verse of this
chapter ; u Into whatsoever city or town ye enter, enquire
who is worthy, and there abide till ye go thence." TK$
more particularly expressed in another gospel : " In the
sane Mast remain eating and drinking, such things as they
give: go-not from house to house/1 Luke \. 7. They had
not then in the eastern countries houses of public enter-
tainment. And it was usual for men of good dispositions,
such as our Lord terms worthy, to entertain strangers. —
The disciples were sent two and two. The\ were not to
make a long abode in any place, and would not be thought
burdensome by any that were worthy, or hospitable men.
Hut our Lord charges them not to go from house to house,
or remove from the place they had iirst resorted to. This
perhaps might be sometimes done very reasonably. Hut
our Lord does now in a manner absolutely restrain his dis-
ciples from acting thus, whatever some others might do;
that they might not give any the least ground of suspicion,
or intimation, that they were curious about their entertain-
ment.
It was upon this principle that the apostle Paul went yet
farther, and in some places, particularly in Greece, waved
his right to a subsistence from those he taught, as he ob-
serves to the Corinthians : " If others be partaken of this
power over you, are aot we rather ? Nevertheless we have
not used this power, bul suffer all thin we should
hinder the gospel of Christ/' 1 Cor.ix. 12. Again, ver. 19.
"Though 1 be free from all men, Nit have 1 made myself
servant to all, that 1 might gain the DM 'J his rule he
observed also a Thessalonica : " Tor ye remember, bre-
thren, our labor am! travel : for laboring night and day,
because we would not be chargeable unto an) of you, we
adied nnto you the gospel of God." l Thess. ii. J>.
1 have now given you a viem of the nature of prudence,
and tiie reasons of it.
III. Ill the next place I am to lay down some rules and
directions concerning a prudent conduct, with regard to
our words and actions.
This is indeed a work of some niceness and delicacy, and
is most properly reserved for men of distinguished charac-
ters. There is likewise oftentimes a backwardness in men
to pay any deference to directions of this kind, except they
are delivered by men of large experience, and of great
renown for wisdom. For this reason, as it seems, Solomon
in his book of Proverbs, containing excellent rules of virtue
and prudence, thought fit to introduce wisdom herself,
proclaiming her kind intentions to mankind, and delivering
many of those directions, that men might be the better
induced to hearken to them. And when he was about to
publish some remarks upon the world, and the affairs of
men in it ; he aggrandises his own character, and sets it
off to the best advantage, giving himself the title of the
Preacher, or Collector, Ecc. i. 1. One who had been long
and carefully employed in laying up a store of just and
useful observations : and who had good opportunities for
that purpose, as he was King in Jerusalem: affirming like-
wise, '* that he had given his heart to seek and search out
by wisdom concerning all things that are done under hea-
ven : that he had seen all the works that are done under
the sun, and that his heart had great experience in wisdom
and knowledge." Ecc. i. 1, — 16.
As we have before us for our guidance the observations
of those who have been eminent for wisdom, and whose
character is well established in the world ; it may be pre-
sumed, that all these high qualifications are not now requi-
site for a performance of this nature. And I would hope,
that they, for whom the following directions are chiefly
intended, are already so wise, or so well disposed at least,
as to be willing to hearken to good counsel from any one
who means them well. It will be my care to deliver such
rules of prudence, as have been approved and recommend-
ed, by those who have had a knowledge of the world, and
are esteemed good judges of mankind. And I shall gene-
rally support the rules laid down by reasons, which if they
do not convince, the counsel itself may not be less regarded.
Rules of this sort are very numerous, and have been often
given, as many are in the book of Proverbs, without con-
nection or dependence on each other. I shall propose
8
those I mention in the following methods : — First, I shall
observe some general rules of prudence ; and then some
particular din cti< ns relating to business, civil conversation
in the world, more intimate friendship and private relation ;
lastly t usefuln* is to 6t h.
1. I shall mention some general rules of prudence^ The
pn servation of our integrity in acting strict!} according to
the rules of i and \ nine, will not !><• allows d ■ place
among rul< . However, (as has been already shown)
it <> i i «_: ! 1 1 to be supposed. <)m blessed Lord does i;<>t omit
the innocence of the dove, when lie recommends the wis-
dom of tl»«' 5< rpent. I must then fore again desire it may
be observed, that nothing 1 am aboul to s; be under-
stood as inconsistent with integrity; which, though not
properlj a rule of prudence, is oftentimes of advantage,
and is both a mean of security, and adds \\« ighl and intla-
ence to a man's character. " He that walketb uprightly,
walketh surely, but he that perverteth bis waj shall he
known." Prov. \. 9. Again, "In the waj ofrighteou
there is life, and in the path-waj thereof there U no
death." c b. \ii. 28. Mon over, " The path of the just i^ <»^
the shining light, that shineth more and more unto tin |>< r-
fect day," ch. iv. 18. Though virtuous and upright nun
should tor a while lie in obscurity. the\ \nn\ -him here-
aft&r witli a greater lustre. And, which i> above all
external considerations and advantages <»f this \u
world, virtue is of tin highest importance to the in
peace of the mind, and our ev< n the
world to < ome. Supposing t; d to i } i
of heart, and inno< en< e of behai ior ;
1. Thefirsl mi' of prudence 1 lay down is this, that we
should endeavor t»> I He thai knov
liimxlf may undei take des for, i mi i an
ni \ ei a< complish ; in i
)\n i i w it) i < in fort
and sati >fiu tion in an i
his temper.
v, know Iedg< of i Ui ind in-
clinatioii ; it is m i dtul that essed <>f
. ( ur ( uti ondition,
and i !m r< Lai it n we i.< , It is one
branch of pi ud< i.* <• I lj to bis
own particular character. Ii In he \. .11 be
9.
guilty of many improprieties. But a just discernment of
our own circumstances, and of our relation to other men,
will make way for an agreeable and acceptable deportment.
The knowledge of yourselves will prevent conceit on the
one hand, and meanness of spirit and conduct on the other.
You will readily act with that modest assurance, which be-
comes your birth, estate, age, station, abilities, skill, and
other advantages ; without departing from your just right,
or assuming more than ought to be reasonably allowed you.
2. Endeavor to know other men. It is a point of cha-
rity to hope the best of every man, and of prudence to fear
the worst. Not that these are inconsistent. It would be to
misrepresent a Christian virtue extremely, to suppose, that
it obliged us to trust men without any knowledge of them.
We are to hope and suppose of every man, that he is good
and honest, till we have some proof to the contrary. This
is the judgment of charity. But we are not bound to employ
men, or confide in. them, till we have some positive eviden-
ces of their honesty and capacity for the trust we would
commit to them, or the work in which we would employ
them.
Some men are unreasonably suspicious and jealous. Be-
cause they are bad themselves, or because they have had
dealings with some that are so, they have formed a notion
that all men are false and unfaithful. This is a wicked ex-
treme. They who are in it are fitly punished for so disad-
vantageous and unjust an opinion of their fellow-creatures.
Such must needs become contemptible themselves. They
may be safe, but they can never make any figure in society;
it being, I suppose, impossible for one man alone to carry
on. any important design, or do any thing considerable in
any business or profession. There is therefore a necessity
of mutual confidence among men.
On the other hand, some good men are apt to think, that
all other men are so. This is oftentimes the sentiment like-
wise of the young and unexperienced. And indeed it must be
some uneasiness to those who are innocent and undesigning
themselves, to suspect other men, or to withold trust and
confidence from them. But however kind and favorable
their apprehensions and inclinations may be, it would cer-
tainly be imprudent to trust to all appearances, and give
credit to every pretence. The counsel in the text is given
by our Lord to his honest, well-meaning disciples, because
10
be kncM tb< c * Id of bad disposition^
n-c-. of;
ufi i,
- i-
\m rd,
r>.
anrd to
. . i:\ act
It
. !;. able to
rJ be ol m i la-
tent v\ ill :'.. i ; .
but also in i ips
and relations! in <i« erj
occasion and occui ;< nee i
whom to trust with safety, whom \<> !< n with
in conversation, favor it utefe t to nky ou
whom youcan bestow your favors an tely
prospect of doing Borne good, or with h< re-
turns, if ever you should want them.
3. Watch, and embrace opportunities^ This is a rule,
which ought to be observed with regard to our words and
actions. "There is a season for evei^ thing, ami every
thing is beautiful in its time." Ecc. in 11. " Tin-re is a
time to speak, and a time to keep silence," says Solomon,
ver. 7. Again, " A word spoken in due s< as< d, bovi good
it is!" Prov. \\. 23. " A word fitlj spoken i^ like apples
of gold in pictures of silver/' cb. \w. 11.
In all amirs there are some special opportunities which
it is a point of wisdom to improve. " lie that gathers in
summer is a wise son. But be that sleepeth in harvest, is
a son that causeth shame," Prov. \. 5. Some opportunities,
like that here mentioned b\ Solomon, are obvious to all.
And it must be moss stupid it) not to Know them, and in-
corrigible sloth to neglect them. But there are some op-
portunities, which will be observed and taken by none but
those who are discerning and attentive. Ever} one can sec
an opportunity, when it is past; but he onlj who is wis
sees it beforehand, or perceives and embraces it, when
present.
4. Advise with those who are able to give von <:ood
counsel, "Without counsel purposes are disappointed, but
in the multitude of counsellors they are established/ Prov.
11
xv. 22. At least, in all important and difficult cases call in
the aid of some friends. " Every purpose is established by
counsel, and with good advice make war/' ch. xx. 18. It is
great presumption in any man to be self-sufficient, and to
suppose, that in all cases he can act well by his own skill
alone.
As counsel ought to be asked, so there should be a dis-
position to hearken to it; or at least, to weigh well the rea-
sons that are brought for or against any design. "The way
of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkens un-
to counsel is wise," Prov. xii. 15.
But yet there is need of some discretion in the choice of
counsellors. They should be usually the aged and ex-
perienced; always, if possible, such as are sincere and dis-
interested. I scarce need therefore to caution you against
advising with your rivals and competitors. If you are so
happy as to have parents, to whom you can have recourse,
you must be in the right to consult with them in affairs of
moment. If you have not this advantage, however, recol-
lect the advices they have given you. Perhaps they have
left with you some counsels of prudence, as well as of virtue.
When you are forming designs inconsistent with their coun-
sels, give such designs a second consideration, before you
take a final resolution. This may be reckoned a point of
wisdom, as well as a piece of respect due to those who
heartily wished your welfare.
After them, advise with, and hearken to those who are
most like them in a sincere and unaffected concern for your
true interest. But if any whom you consult, always advise
according to your own inclinations, you may be assured
they are not your friends. It is not your interest they con-
sult, but their own. So likewise, if any, of whom you ho-
nestly ask advice, with an intention to be informed and
guided by them, are shy and reserved ; though at other
times, and upon other occasions, they are open enough,
you should remember, not to go to them again. It is not
worth the while to reveal your designs to such. It can be of
no advantage, and may be attended with some inconveni-
ence.
5. Restrain and govern your affections. This is of great
importance to the prudent conduct of life. In all debates,
he who is calm and composed, as all are sensible, has a vast
advantage over a heated adversary. But I mean not the re-
12
fctraint of anger only , entment uponapr< on; but
■ stead) government of all the passions, and a calm and
composed temper Of mind in all nccurn iic s. lie who is
6verset bj ;i i h is accident, is|<»st beyond 1 ud can
never gel oul of a difficulty, though there still remain seve-
ral ways of escape and recovery.
Vvoid 1 0 great eagerness foi an) earthl) thing. Men of
•lent inclinations are immediately for action. The) ha
no sooner thought of a thing, but ihes must ha\e it. 'I In j
are at otice passed the state of deliberation within them-
selves, and of consultation with others. Men who are ex-
tremely eager for ua in and riches, an* not always the most
successful. They precipitate all their measures. The) can
never have an Opportunity, because the) cannot wait till it
Offers. Such usually run desperate hazards, and according-
ly meet with great losses: Solomon, who has so often spo-
kenof the benefit of diligence, does nevertheless discou-
rage eagernes of spirit and action, as ruinous and destruc-
tive.— " The thoughts of the diligent/' says be, " tend on-
ly to plenteousness : but of ever) one that is hasty, only to
want," Prov. xxi. o.
Then, the men of hasty spirit often plunge themselves
into great difficulties, which no after-thought of their own,
nor kind assistance of their friends, can extricate them out
of. What Solomon says of men subject to intemperate an-
ger, is very likely to be the case of all who have any other
ungoverned passion: "A man of great w rath shall suffer
punishment: for if thou deliver him, yet thou must do it
again." Prov. xix. 10. If you help them out of one trouble,
yet they will soon run themselves into some other. And in
another place, the same wise man has siven a lively in
of the defenceless and deplorable condition of those who
are under the government of violent p : " He that
hath no rule over his own spirit, is like a city that is bro-
ken down, and without walls." Prov. xxv. 28.
It seems to be for this reason, that men of lesser abilities
do often succeed better in business, and indeed in some
important affairs, than the more acute and penetrating. —
They have slow capacities, but they are abundantly recom-
pensed by the coolness of their passions. They move on
with a steady, even pace, without slips or falls; till at length,
to the surprise of all who were not ver) discerning indeed,
they distance many, who set out with much more life and
rigor.
18
These are general rules of prudence. They need not be
mentioned again. But they ought to be observed upon
every particular occasion, and will be of use in all the af-
fairs and actions of life that require prudent conduct and
management.
II. I am now to lay down some particular rules of pru-
dence concerning several branches of conduct, and divers
circumstances of life. They will concern these four points
before-mentioned ; business, civil conversation, more inti-
mate friendships and relations, and usefulness to others*
1, Of business I may not presume to give many direc-
tions relating to this matter. But I apprehend it to be a
point of great prudence, for a man to endeavor to be fully
master of his employment. He who is skilful in his calling,
and diligently attends to it, and is punctual to his promises
and engagements, can seldom fail of encouragement. These
may be generally reckoned surer means of success than a
large acquaintance, address, importunity, or any other such-
like arts of procuring the dealings of men : though these
may not be entirely neglected, and may be of use, if they
are not too much relied on. Interest is a prevailing prin-
ciple, and that will dispose men to be concerned with, and
employ those who are skilful, diligent, and punctual.
It is also esteemed a point of prudence for men to abide
in the employment to which they have been educated, and
in which they have once engaged, unless there be some
great and particular inconvenience attending it, or some
strong and peculiar inducement to another.
But by no means hearken to the speeches of those who
would draw you off from all employment. Some there are in
the world, men of sprightly and aspiring fancies (as they
would be thought) who would persuade you that business
is below the dignity of rational beings; or however, of all
who would shine and be distinguished. You will be justi-
fied by Solomon in throwing contempt on such imaginations.
" He that is despised, and has a servant, is better than he
that honoreth himself, and lacketh bread." Prov. xi. 9.
Again, ver. 11, " He that tilleth his land, shall have plenty
of bread, but he that followeth vain persons shall have po-
verty enough."
2. The next thing concerning which I would give some
directions is civil conversation. In general, endeavor to act
according to your own character, and maintain that suitably
c
It
to the persons you meet with, of different abilities, princi-
ples and circumstances.
He is happy in the an of conversation, who can preserve
n mean, without being light, or formal; neither too rex i \ i d
nor too open. Reserved ness is disagreeable and offen-
sive; tOO great openness, in mixed company, with which
you are not well acquainted, is often attended with danger-
ous consequences. It may he agood rule for every man to
guard especially against that extreme, which he is most lia-
ble to fall into; by which he is in the greatest danger of ex-
posing himself, or offending others. Which is the worst
extreme may not he easy to determine. But I think, if we
will take the judgment of Solomon, too great openness
must be the most inconsistent with prudence. Tor silence
is with him a mark of wisdom, and there is scarce any one
thing he has oftener recommended than the government of
the tongue ; nor any thing he has more plainly and more
frequently condemned, than talkativeness. I shall remind
you of some of his sayings upon this argument. " In the
siultitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that re-
straineth his lips is wise." Prov. x. 19. " He that hath
knowledge spareth his words : even a fool, when he holdeth
his peace, is counted wise ; and he that shutteth his lips,
is esteemed a man of understanding." ch. xvii. 27, 28. —
u The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright ; but the
mouth of fools poureth out foolishness." ch. xv. 2. " A fool
uttereth all his mind, but a wise man kecpeth it in till af-
terwards. ' ch. \\i\. 11. '; Wisdom resteth in the heart of
him that hath understanding ; but that which is in the midst
of fools is made known.' Prov. xiv. 3:3. " lie that kecpeth
Jiis mouth, keepeth his life; but he that openeth wide his
mouth, shall have destruction." ch. xiii. 3 Especially, be
cautious what yon say of others; and be not too forward
in giving characters, either by wa\ of praise, or dispraise.
The onl\ end of conversation is not to entertain, or in-
struct others. You are likewise to aim at your own im-
provement, and the increase of your present stock of learn-
ing and knowledge. Nor is it necessary, in order to be
agreeable, that you should entertain the company with dis-
course. You may as much oblige some men b\ patient at-
lentioo to what they say, as bj producing just and new ob-
servations of your own. For young persons particularly,
silence and modesty must be advantageous qualities in con-
13
versation, St. James's precept is general: "Let every men
be swift to hear, slow to speak/' James i. 19. And if at-
tended to, would lessen the multitude of some men's words,
very much to their own benefit, and the improvement of
society.
Another rule of prudence relating to this matter, which
is also a point of duty, is : " If possible, live peacably with
all men." Rom. xii. IB. Do not needlessly offend, or dis-
oblige any. A resolution to please men at all adventures,
amidst the present variety of sentiments and affections in
the world, would engage us, at seasons, to desert the cause
of truth, liberty, and virtue. And therefore our Lord has
justly pronounced a woe upon those who are universally
applauded, saying : " Woe unto you when all men speak
well of you." Luke vi. 26. Such a reputation is rarely to
be obtained without a base and criminal indifference for
some things very valuable and important to the general in-
terests of mankind. However, do not despise any man,
though ever so mean. Malice and hatred are active prin-
ciples. And, as has been often observed, one enemy may
do you more harm than many friends can do you good.
Nor is there any man so mean, or so feeble, but he may
some time have an opportunity of doing you much good^
or much harm.
You are not to be afraid of men, nor too solicitous ta
please them, nor to stoop to flattery, or meanness, to gain
their favor. These are methods neither very virtuous nor
very prudent. For they seldom procure lasting esteem or
affection. If you gain men's favor by flattery, you can
keep it no longer than you are willing to be their slaves, or
their tools. But you may endeavor by easy civilities, an#
real services, to oblige and gain all you can. This we may do,,
this we ought to do, according to the rules of Christianity-
good breeding, and prudence.
Choose, as much as may be, the conversation of those
who are wiser and more experienced than yourselves.
Avoid the company of those who indulge intemperate mirth^
and neglect the rules of decency; from whom you can ex*
pect no benefit, and from whom you are in danger of re*
ceiving a taint to your virtue, or a blot to your reputation,
"He that walketh with wise persons/7 says Solomon, "shall
be wise; but a companion of fools shall be destroyed,^
Prov. xiii. 20.
3. Ill the third place, I shall mention some observations
QtoCemhftn more intimate friendships and private relali«--
It ii i rule t«> choose friend* among acquaintance, ami
not to enter into intimacy with those of whom yon here had
no trial, because a false friend is the most dan.
inv. Solomon has a direction relating to this point: " Thi
own friend, and thy father's friend fo
10. The meaning is not that we should n ch,
or refuse to absist them when tins an- in (II hut
it is a role of prudence to elioo.se tor friends, or toapph
those, when we are in any trouble or difficulty, whose sin-
cerity and faithfulness have been tried and e < ed.
In the choice of friends, it may he prudent to have stone
•egard to equalits of age, as well as circumstances, and to
in agreement of sentiments and disposition-.
If you are to avoid tlie conversation of the openly
ous (as was before observed ) you are to make friendship
only with men of known and approved virtue. Let th
be your friends whom God himself loves ; the meek, tin-
humble, the peaceable, who abhor strife and content;
Solomon's caution against familiarity with men of a contra-
ry disposition is delivered with some peculiar concern ami
earnestness: " Make no friendship," says he, " with an an-
gry man, and with a furious man thou shalt not go, I
thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul." Prov.
xxii. 24, *25. You may likewise consider whether they show
a good ceconemy in their own affairs: what has hltbei
been their behavior among their friends and acquaintance,
what proofs they have given of fidelity, discretion, candor,
generosity. The more good properties meet in your friend,
the more entire and comfortable will be your friendship,
and the more likely is it to be durable. Happy is the man
who has a few friends; true, discreet, generdUfc But to
admit into intimacy, men destitute of all good qualities, who
neither have faithfulness nor generosity to stand by you
in distresses and afflictions, nor wisdom to direet yon in
difficulties, would be only to increase the troubles and Neg-
ations of life, without abating any of them, or making pro-
vision for a perplexed and difficult circumstance.
Solomon, who was sensible of the blessing of a true
friend, and has described the advantages and the offices of
friendship, has also represented the disappointment and
vexation of misplaced confidence. Concerning the advaflS
17
tages of friendship he speaks in this manner : u A friend
loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
Prov. xvii. 17. Two are better than one, because they have
a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one
will lift up his fellow : but woe to him that is alone when
he falleth, for he has not another to lift him up." Again,
" if two lie together, then they have heat ; but how can
one be warm alone ? And if one prevail against him, two
shall withstand him ; and a threefold cord is not easily bro-
ken/ Ecc. iv. D, — 12. But then he has observed likewise,
by way of caution and admonition: "Confidence in an
unfaithful man in time of trouble, is like a broken tooth,
and a foot out of joint." Prov. xxv. 19.
When you have adopted any into intimacy and friend-
ship, they are in a great measure upon a level with rela-
tions. Though they differ somewhat, I shall speak of them
jointly, to avoid prolixity.
There are here two things principally to be aimed at :
one is, that friendships and alliances be preserved with-
out open ruptures: the other is, that while there remains
an outward show of friendship, or alliance subsist : there
may be a real harmony, and a mutual exchange of affections
and services.
In the first place, it is of great importance, that friend-
ships and alliances, once contracted, should be preserved
without open ruptures. For, thongh you have right on
your side, yet, breaches between friends, or relatives, are
seldom without scandal to both parties. But if you escape
that, you will not avoid all uneasiness in yourselves. A
distant strangeness, or open variance, after mutual endear-
ments, will be grievous to men of kind and generous dispo-
sitions. The other end is the preservation of real harmony.
In order to secure both these ends, several things are of
great use. It is an observation of Solomon relating to this
point : " A man that hath friends must show himself
friendly." Prov. xviii. 24. You must not admit a self-
ish temper, You are to be concerned for your friend's in
terest, as well as your own.
As perfection is not to be found on earth, you are to be
prepared and disposed tp overlook some faults. You are
not to know every thing which you see or hear. " He
that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but hethat re-
peateth a matter, seperateth very friends." Prov. xvii. 9,
c.2
16
"A AhA's wrath is prescntk known; but it prudent man
covereth lhaaatte." Pmv. x i i . l(>\ If any difference happen,
drop it iiizain U 1608 ii Jf0B tCCOfCF \our l« mpcr. " The
beginning bf strife h ^ when ante letteth <>ut water, there-
fore leave off eofctention, before it be meddled with/' ch.
xvii. 11. You arc not to break with a t'rii -ntl for a small
mat tor.
The better to leCOTC the lasting lo\ e and good J ill of \our
friends, aim not barely at the pre* rvaiion ot a real atfec-
lion ior them, and the pel formaix e of real Sten ICO ; but con-
sult likewise the manner of performing benefit*. You
think this worthy of your regard in order to gasa i friend-
ship; why should \ou not also for preferring, or cherish-
ing it ?
Indeed, all good offices should be done in an obliging
manner; and friendly actions are to be improved by friend-
ly words. There is a polite piece of advice in the book of
Ecclesiasticus : " My son, blemish not thy good deeds;
neither use uncomfortable words, when thou givest any
thing. Shall not the dew assuage the heat? So is a word
better than a gift. Lo, is not a word better than a gif) ?
But both are with a gracious man," Ecc. xviii. 15, 10, 17.
Trespass not too far on the goodness and affection of the
kindest and most loving friend or relative by too frequent
contradictions, especially in matters of small moment; or
by too keen, or too frequent jests, or by any seeming neg-
lect, or a rude familiarity; but whilst you use the open-
ness, freedom and confidence of a friend ; oblige your-
selves to the same, or very near the same outward forms of
civility and respect with which you receive a stranger. This
must be of some importance, because few men eanpersuade
themselves, that they are really beloved, when they seem to
be despised.
4. The last thing to be spoken of is usefulness to others.
Though I am giving rules and directions chiefly to yoimij
people, who are but setting out in the world ; yet I thing it
not proper to omit entirely this matter, there beini; few g#od
and innocent persons, however young, who have not abb
some generosity ; and they are apt to be forming designs of
usefulness to othei men, as well as of advancement for them-
selves.
There are two branches of usefulness; one concerning
the interest of civil society, the other the interest of truth
19
and religion, or the temporal, and the spiritual good and
welfare of men.
One branch of usefulness is serving the interest of civil
society. For this every man may be concerned, having
first carefully informed himself about it, that he may make
a true judgment wherein it consists. You should manifest
a steady regard to the public welfare upon every occasion
that requires your assistance : showing that you are not
to be imposed upon by false pretences, and that your in-
tegrity is inviolable ; that you will not for a little present
profit, nor for ail your own personal share in the world,
sell, or betray the welfare of the public, and of mankind in
general. If you maintain this steadiness in the way suit-
able to your station, it will procure you weight and influ-
ence. I suppose this may be more advisable, than to imi-
tate those, who out of a forward zeal for the public have
been so far transported as to leave their proper station, and
set upon reforming the world, hoping to root out at once
all abuses and corruptions. From some things that have
already happened in the world, in almost every age and
part of it, one may safely foretel, what will be the issue of
such an undertaking. You will be baffled, and then de-
spised. Possibly, Solomon has an eye to such attempts as
these, when he says, u Be not righteous over-much, nei-
ther make thyself over-wise : why shouldst thou destroy
thyself r Ecc. vii. 16.
It is a regular and becoming deportment in a man's own
proper station, which is most likely to give him weight and
authority. Go on therefore by a just discharge of all the
duties of your condition, to lay up a stock of reputation
and influence. To do this will be great prudence, and to
improve it as occasions offer, or to hazard and lay it all
out for the good of the public, in a case of emergency, will
be both prudent and generous.
The other branch of usefulness is promoting the interest
of truth and religion. There are three or four rules to be
observed here, which may be collected from some direc-
tions, and the example of our blessed Lord and his apos-
tles. " Cast not your pearls before swine : if they perse-
cute you in one city, flee into another : instruct men as
they are able to bear it, use mildness of speech, and meek-
ness of behavior."
These rules partly regard our own safety, and partly
20
the best way of obtaining the end aimed at. For as every
good man ought to have i seal for the happiness of others,
and particularly for promoting truth and virtue ■ so it is a
point of prudence to pursue such good ends in the use of
those means, which are most likelj to obtain them, and
with as little danger or damage to ourselves as an be.
The first is a rule delivered bj our Saviour; " Give not
that which is holj unto the dogs, neither east ye your
pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their
feet, and turn again and rend um." Matt. \ii. 6. There is
a rule of like import in the Proverbs : " Speak not in the
ear of a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of thy words."
Prov. wiii. 0. This too is partly the design of that direc-
tion, v\ hit h St. Paul gives to Timothy: describing some
men that had a " form of godliness, denying the power of
it ; from sueh," Bays he, " turn away." 2 Tim. iii. f>. Leave
them, as men whom you have no prospect of doing anv
good to. Our Lord himself observed this rule; for he
rarely addressed himself directly to the Pharisi as, but ra-
ther taught the people : and his disciples afterwards having
made a tender of the gospel to the Jews, when they rej<
it, went from them to the Gentiles." Acts xiii. 4fj.
The true character of those men who are not the subjects
of instruction is this : they " trust in themselves, that they
are righteous, and despise others/' Luke xviii. <). Again,
" their heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hear-
ing, and their eyes have they closed ; lest at any time they
should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and
should be converted and healed. ,; Matt. xiii. 15.
These are not to be instructed. Nor would they admit
a direct address and application to be made to them. You
may warn others against them, you may weep over them,
\ou may bray for them, but you cannot tench them. It is
a dangerous thing to offer them any service to enlighten
them. If they are not under some external restraints, they
turn again and rend $/0U. If therefore upon trial you nut t
with men of thi.^ character and disposition, you are to re-
treal as well as you can. The most that can be thought of
is to wail for a better opportunity.
However, our blessed Lord ^ives this charge to his dis-
ciples : "What lull you in darkness, thai speak ye in
light ; and what ye hear in tin1 ear, that preach ye upon
the house top," Matt. x. 27. Proclaim the doctrine you
21
have heard from me publicly wherever you go, and do all
that lies in your power to recommend it to all men. And
it must be owned, that they who have an opportunity of
applying it to great numbers of men, either by discourse or
writing, have a vast advantage; and they are bound by
their fidelity to Christ, and by all that is dear and sacred
in truth, religion, and virtue, to improve this advantage to
the utmost of their ability. If they scatter abroad the
principles of religion some will fall upon good ground,
whence may be expected a plentiful harvest.
The second rule relating to this matter is, " If they per-
secute you in one city, flee into another/' Matt. x. 23. —
You may decline the heat of men's rage and displeasure,
and reserve yourselves for better times, or for more teach-
able and better disposed persons. Of the first believers
after our Lord's ascension, it is said : " And at that time
there was a great persecution against the church that was
at Jerusalem, and they were all scattered abroad throughout
the regions of Judea and Samaria, except the apostles,"
Acts viii. 1. It is likely, the apostles had some special
directions from the Holy Ghost not to depart from Jerusa-
lem, and they there enjoyed accordingly a special protec-
tion : but the rest of the believers left Jerusalem for the
present, and shifted for themselves, as they could, in other
parts. Nay, we afterwards find the apostles also observing
this rule. Peter having been delivered out of prison by an
angel, after he had been put in custody by Herod, '* de-
parted and went to another place," Acts xii. 17. Of Paul
and Barnabas it is related, that when at Iconium, " there
was an assault made both of the Gentiles, and also of the
Jews, to use them despitefully ; they were aware of it, and
fled into Lystra and Derbe, cities of Lycaonia, and unto
the region that lies round about." chap. xiv. 5, 6.
Thirdly, teach men as they are able to bear it. So did
our blessed Lord. Says the evangelist : " and with many
such parables spake he the word unto them, as they were
able to hear it." Mark iv. 33. So he taught the disciples
also, delivering some things with some obscurity, because
they were not able to bear a plain and full revelation of
them : " I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye
cannot bear them now." John xiv. 12. This may be the
fault of men, that they are not able to hear every truth
plainly spoken : but yet there must be some compliance
22
..
Bad condescension in this respect. " And I, brethren,
St. Paul to the Corinthians, " could not speak unto
J( II BS Unto I, I ul ; ,1, I 1 1 ii BJ unto
•ii I hrist .! si i I n .- i i d you u itfa milk, ind not
with mi i h to be tt it." l ( or.
iii. J, 2. \<u must therefore, as the apostles did, " be-
e all things to ail m< d, that 3fj aU tn< ana you ma]
some." l Cor. i\. 22. V not to depart from your
own integrity, not youi proper character, but so far as
can be done consistent with I to suit your in-
structions to nit n's abilities and conditio
Fourthly, in this work use great mil f speech, and
meekness of behavior. You are not to provoke an\ thai
are teachable by reflecting on their want of understanding,
nor to >ulier youi zeal to degenerate into rudeness. It ha*
been observed bj some, that ili«* apostles of Christ were
enl examples of an excellent decorum in their dis-
Courses, and in their whole behavior. And among other
directions to Timothy, St. Paul has not foiled b
mend particularly meekness of behavior, as the most likely
method of reclaiming mer from their errors. " The ser-
vant of the Lord must not strive, but be gentle to all men,
apt to teach, patient, *in meekness instructing them that
oppose themselves, if God pcrad venture will give them re-
pentance to the acknowledgment ed* the truth/' 2 Tim. ii.
24, 25. That you ma) gain men to truth and virtue, apply
the strongest arguments te> their reason and conscience,
without a contemptuous I t of their persons or pre-
judices.
These gentle methods of reformation will be generally
preferred by good men, and may be reckoned the most pro-
bable means of conviction : but 1 do not deny, that some
faults and lollies of men may fitly be ridiculed: and some
men may be rebuked sharply by proper p< Mad with
all authority. All which is ne> more than putting in prac-
tice the direction of Solomon: u Answer a loul according
to his folly, le^t be be1 wise in his own conceit*11 Pray* \wi. 5.
1 have now set before you some general rules of pru-
dence, and some particular directions copceroipg divers
branches of conduct. But \e»u are- not to suppose* that
prudence is to be learned by rules only. It is rather a
habit, which must be <n at ion, action, and
experience, butler not yourselves to be embantssed and
23
perplexed with a great multitude and variety of rules, nor
be over solicitous about a proper decorum : for too great
anxiety always spoils the performance. In a word, be but
fully master of your own character, and possessed of an
habitual desire of pleasing, together with a modest persua-
sion that you shall do well, and you will do so.
There can be no occasion for me to add a particular re-
commendation for the study of prudence, having before
shown the necessity, and the grounds and reasons of it. —
The text itself demonstrates the lawfulness and experience
of prudent conduct. Nor can any be altogether insensible
of the importance of it to success in life. Virtue, learning,
the knowledge of arts and seiences, are like diamonds, they
have an intrinsic value ; but must be set and polished be-
fore they are fit for show or use. Though divers other na-
tural and acquired accomplishments may procure affection
and esteem, it is discretion only that can preserve them.
I am not apprehensive of any abuse of the directions
here laid down. They have no tendency to make men sel-
fish or cunning. They are designed for the young and
inexperienced ; as likewise for the honest, the good-natured,
and the generous, of any age and condition. Though you
should be simple, they who are designing will practice their
arts of subtlety and mischief. By a prudent behavior you
will not encourage their evil practices, but only secure
yourselves against them, and be better qualified for success
and usefulness in the world.
After all, you are not to depend upon your own care and
prudence, but to recommend yourselves and your honest
well-laid designs to the divine protection and blessing. It
has been seen by those who have diligently observed human
counsels and events, " that the race is not to the swift, nor
the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor
yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men
of skill, but time and chance happeneth to them all." Ecc.
ix. 11. As all human affairs are liable to accidents and
disasters, a firm persuasion, and serious regard to the over-
ruling providence of God, which is not limited by the pre-
sent scene of things, cannot but contribute to your happi-
ness, by preparing your minds for all events, and enabling
you to bear afHictions and disappointments with patience*
It may likewise be one good foundation of happiness, to
admit but moderate affections for the great things of this
24
World* If you are truly religious, j on may be < oni» nt with
n little, and will manage that well. Without estate,
1>\ frugal and prudent o nduct, you ma\ have enough for
joui and yonr immediate dependents; and be able
to do Lr"«<l to ath< Happj had it beeu fiw
men, as wel(aj for the public, if from the n< rj first, and all
their daj i, they bad rather aim* d to be w ise and good, than
rich <>r Lrr< at Final!} , it' you do good for th< f doing
good, which is a noble principle; and with a view to future
rewards, which are incomparably great and certain: yon
will not he much concerned, though you mi-> of pi< -cut
rewards, which you know to he but trifles, and never were
your principal aim.
May you then add to virtue prudence, and abound in
both yel more and more; that you may escape tin
of the wicked, and the misapprehensions of the weak: mai
have success in business, acceptance \% it h mankind, happi-
ness in friendship and every private relation; may be use-
ful members of civil society, and of the church of God ;
may enjoy contentment, and peace of mind in all events !
and at length obtain the distinguished reoompence which
God, who is infinitely wise and holy, will bestow upon
those, who have not only been ■* undciiled in the wa\.
Psalm cxix. 1. but have also advanced the welfare of tli
fellow-creatures, and the honor of his name in the world.
F. E. WRIGHT, PRINTLK.
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