Gamboling with Galatea: A Bucolic Romance

Google

This is a digital copy of a book that was preserved for generations on library shelves before it was carefully scanned by Google as part of a project

to make the world's books discoverable online.

It has survived long enough for the copyright to expire and the book to enter the public domain. A public domain book is one that was never subject

to copyright or whose legal copyright term has expired. Whether a book is in the public domain may vary country to country. Public domain books

are our gateways to the past, representing a wealth of history, culture and knowledge that's often difficult to discover.

Marks, notations and other maiginalia present in the original volume will appear in this file - a reminder of this book's long journey from the

publisher to a library and finally to you.

Usage guidelines

Google is proud to partner with libraries to digitize public domain materials and make them widely accessible. Public domain books belong to the
public and we are merely their custodians. Nevertheless, this work is expensive, so in order to keep providing tliis resource, we liave taken steps to
prevent abuse by commercial parties, including placing technical restrictions on automated querying.
We also ask that you:

+ Make non-commercial use of the files We designed Google Book Search for use by individuals, and we request that you use these files for
personal, non-commercial purposes.

+ Refrain fivm automated querying Do not send automated queries of any sort to Google's system: If you are conducting research on machine
translation, optical character recognition or other areas where access to a large amount of text is helpful, please contact us. We encourage the
use of public domain materials for these purposes and may be able to help.

+ Maintain attributionTht GoogXt "watermark" you see on each file is essential for in forming people about this project and helping them find
additional materials through Google Book Search. Please do not remove it.

+ Keep it legal Whatever your use, remember that you are responsible for ensuring that what you are doing is legal. Do not assume that just
because we believe a book is in the public domain for users in the United States, that the work is also in the public domain for users in other
countries. Whether a book is still in copyright varies from country to country, and we can't offer guidance on whether any specific use of
any specific book is allowed. Please do not assume that a book's appearance in Google Book Search means it can be used in any manner
anywhere in the world. Copyright infringement liabili^ can be quite severe.

About Google Book Search

Google's mission is to organize the world's information and to make it universally accessible and useful. Google Book Search helps readers
discover the world's books while helping authors and publishers reach new audiences. You can search through the full text of this book on the web

at |http: //books .google .com/I

^

V

\

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

_^.^_^ ^^^^^_ Jill -• - ^' »■ ■ i'"^

;

J^ - ... i^ip -■- .—

1

^ ■

i I. 1 J.

..^

•.■■'.... ^ .
■ ' : *• •■■

■ .. .>. ' — r

.' ■■

■■',*. ".

\*

■"■ ,'

-\-y:--

*■ .

;*--

GAMBOLLING WITH

/^ A T A'VCrA A BUCOLIC

Vjr Al^ A 1 HA : ROMANCE

By CURTIS DUNHAM

Author of " The Casino Girl in London^'''*
^^TtuoinaZoo,'' *^Tbi Golden Goblin^'" etc.

WITH ILLUSTRATIONS
BY OLIVER HERFORD

HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY
BOSTON &r NEW YORK .;. THE
RIVERSIDE PRESS CAMBRIDGE

MDCCCCIX

|/^^^

J 1-1 .,

... i I

R KM L

COPYRIORT, 1909, BY CURTIS DUNHAM AND HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY

ALL RIGHTS RBSSRVKD

Published May igog

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

0>

cc

ro J. B. F.

i

PRELIMINARY

Preliminary and Confidential

AIR reader (and unfair one, of
either sex), I pray you be not
dismayed by the profundity
of this discourse. Doubtless
there are some light-minded
observers who would have seen in the natural
phenomena herein recorded the very quintes-
sence of humor, the apotheosis of the comical.
Such pretenders to scientific and literary emi-
nence would entertain the same view of the
noble Titanotherium Robustum, or the sublime
Stegosaurus Ungulatus. They would have cast
merry doubts upon the improving conversation
between Balaam and his Ass; ridiculed the
psychic resources of the Birds of St. Francis
d'Assisi; scoffed at the gratitude of iEsop's

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

Lion; denied the acumen of the Jumping
Frog of Calaveras ; yea, and presumed to say
•*scat'' to the sacred Cat of Bubastis.

Fair reader (or unfair one), be warned against
all such triflers with the important truths of
nature. Life is earnest. Turn the page — read,
ponder, and be wise.

CD.

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

Contents

Preliminary and Confidential vii

PART I
Initiation of the Two-Legged Partners i

PAR T II
Fair Warning to the Horseless 39

PAR r III
Pig-malion and Galatea 67

PAR r IV
The Obsequies of Bos Nemo 98

PART V
Equus Minor, Detective 127

PAR T VI
Taurus Cupid, Es(^ 157

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

Illustrations

" / would rCt roost in a cherry tree " {fage jo) Frontispiece

The goat seemed to nod his approval ^

Sit perfectly still for five minutes while the gentleman

takes your picture n2

Seized her hand and kissed it ardently 126

The guests ate their turnips decorously 1^0

All the four4egged members of the firm had drawn near 1 68

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

I

Initiation of the Two-Legged Partners

HE thing was incredible. It
was intolerable — just cause for
mutiny. Talk about injustice,
arrogant denial of the equal
rightsof man and beast ! Well,
here was a spectacle calculated to make the
heavens weep. Yet never had a June sky re-
vealed a deeper shade of blue for fleecy clouds
to sail upon. The wind that should have risen
in a shriek of indignation blew softly around
the corner of the barn, and was laden with fra-
grance from all the flowers that bloom. In the
meadow just beyond the stone fence, the tall
grass waved gently, whispering contentment to
the brook that gurgled with happiness. Birds
sang, grasshoppers chirped —
...3...

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

Clarence could stand it no longer. With his
neck stretched far out of his stall window, the
colt lifted up his voice and whinnied remon-
strance.

" O Amanda ! Why are we still prisoners, and
the sun half-way up the roof of heaven ? It is
an outrage, Amanda. Come quickly and let us
out."

Reginald — the round fat one with the tight
kink in his tail — stood on his hind-legs inside
the barnyard fence under the colt's nose, and
voiced his personal grievance in short sharp
squeaks.

" Let me out, let me out, let me out ! My
trough is empty. My flattened belly cleaves to
my backbone.''

On either side of him were Mrs. Cowslip and
Gustavius, with their heads over the fence and
their noses in the air.

** Amanda, O Amanda ! " bawled the bull-

• • JL» • •

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

calf, while his mother — she of the liquid eyes
and the crumpled horn — lowed her gentle
reminder : —

" Good, kind Amanda, this yard is bar-
ren; in the pasture the long grass is luscious.
Amanda, O Amanda ! ''

And William, the big-horned and bearded
one, butted foolishly at the hinges of the barn-
yard gate.

The others gave no heed to William's puerile
devices. He was only an addle-pated goat any-
way, devoid of reasoning power and puffed up
with vanity. They put their noses together and
considered the matter, the bull-calf wrinkling
his yellow muzzle at Clarence's ear and drop-
ping now and then a superfluous comment.
Ordinarily the colt, having an exalted sense of
his own superiority, would have indulged in no
such familiarity with a placid old cow and her
lubberly calf; but it was plain that the present

• • • ^ • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

occasion was one demanding the sinking of the
individual in the organization. So Clarence
patiently reviewed the situation, inviting their
suggestions.

To go back to the events of the early morn-
ing. Why had that two-legged tyrant, who
always responded so promptly to the vulgar
name of Gabe whenever Amanda hailed him
from the kitchen door, harnessed the mare and
driven off, leaving them deprived of their cus-
tomary liberty, and without a word of expla-
nation ? The act was contrary to the Professor's
most sacred principle of equity for all living
creatures, whether having four legs or only
two.

" And yet just now you led us in our suppli-
cations to Amanda,'' observed Mrs. Cowslip.
"Why did you not remind the Professor of
our — "

"Ah !" broke in Gustavius, "you can trust

• • • n • • •

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

the Professor to understand the needs of a bull-
calf."

" You don't have to ask the Professor twice
when you want your back scratched/' grunted
Reginald, his tail kinking tighter than ever
with delicious memories.

"The Professor has a large, round, and
most inviting stomach," commented William,
" Never before have I spared such a stomach.
Yet never have I felt the slightest inclination
to butt the Professor."

Mrs. Cowslip turned her mild eyes inquir-
ingly on the colt. " I suggest," she said, " that
we remind the Professor — "

" My gracious ! " interrupted Clarence with
impatience. "Can't you fellows remember any-
thing over-night ? The Professor drove off be-
hind my mother yesterday morning. There was
a box beside him in the wagon. He wore his
high hat. Mother came home without him.

• • • / • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

There 's nobody left in the house but Amanda
and that two-legged Gabe."

Just then Gustavius tossed his immature horns
and bellowed : —

" Amanda ! Amanda ! '*

With an apron over her head and a tin pail
on her arm, Amanda had come into view be-
yond the angle of the barn.

" She 's going to the strawberry-patch over
beyond the orchard," said Clarence, excitedly.
" Quick ! Now, all together ! '*

Amanda had not the hardihood to ignore
the resulting chorus of appeals to her. But she
passed quickly on out of sight, after turning
long enough to wave her hand and answer : —

"Jest be patient, you critters. Gabe'll'tend
to you when he gits home.*'

The colt nearly burst with indignation.

"That settles it,*' he shrieked, lashing out
with his heels so that there was a great clatter

• • • Q • • •

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

of things loose in the barn. Then he drew back
his lips, baring his teeth, and began snapping
at the latch-string of the barn-door, which was
just beyond his reach.

** It 's a pity,*' said Mrs. Cowslip. " I Ve
seen your mother let herself in that way many
a time, when she was full of grass and eager for
her midday nap.'*

" If I was only out of here, I could
reach that string,'' grunted Reginald, with one
thought for the colt and two for himself.

" Oh, we know all about you," retorted Clar-
ence with exasperation. " If you could get out
you 'd scoot for those artichokes down by the
brook and never look behind you, you fat, self-
ish, kink-tailed little beast."

" Just you try me," urged the pig, for he had
great confidence in the colt's resources.

Once more their noses were close together,
while Clarence instructed them in the details of

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

a desperate effort designed to gain freedom for
them all.

To contend with the smug incredulity of
those millions of human kind who spend their
lives in little brick-and-mortar boxes set one on
top of another in long double rows is the fate
of all chroniclers of the important aspects of
nature. But truth is mighty and will prevail.
Let us therefore proceed calmly with the facts.

When Clarence had repeated his instructions
several times, Reginald gave three sharp, intel-
ligent grunts and ran straight to the barnyard
gate. With his stiffened snout he began furi-
ously attacking the hard earth beneath the lower
bar.

" Not there, you idiot ! " squealed the colt.
" The other end. The other end, where the iron
hinges are ! "

Reginald stood corrected. While the dirt flew
from under the hinged end of the gate, Gusta-

• • • 10* • •

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

vius galloped foolishly around the yard with his
tail aloft, and William, with a coolly calculating
eye on those hinges, backed away slowly, with
significance understood by all the other con-
spirators. Mrs. Cowslip looked on benignantly.
Presently the pig got his sturdy shoulders under
the gate and heaved with all his might. Wil-
liam, with head down, leaped to the assault.
The crash of his horns on those hinges reechoed
between orchard and wooded hills. But the gate
was raised only an inch or two, and Reginald
stuck fast. His squeals as he struggled would
have melted a heart of stone. William backed
away for another assault. It was while he was
in mid-air that Clarence shrilled : —
" Not the hinges ! The pig, the pig ! *'
William understood. This time all the weight
behind his horns landed with a resounding smack
on Reginald's inviting posterior. In the midst
of heart-rending squeals the gate rose in the air

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

and the barnyard prisoners looked out on lib-
erty. Instantly Reginald was ofFin the direction
of the artichokes.

"Stop!*' shrieked Clarence. "As I'm a
thoroughbred, you shall feel my heels among
your spareribs ! "

Reginald looked back, and seeing immediate
menace in the lowered horns of Mrs. Cowslip
and Gustavius, turned about, ran to the barn-
door, stood on his hind-legs, seized with his
teeth the leather string at which the colt was
frantically snapping, gave one sharp pull — and
the deed was done. If Amanda, a moment later,
had looked up from her strawberry-picking, she
would have seen, circling over the half-lawn,
half-pasture between the barn and the house, all
tails in the air, a triumphant procession consist-
ing of one yearling colt, one cow with a crum-
pled horn, one bull-calf, one he-goat making
short stifF-legged jumps with horns lowered, and

• • • 12 • • •

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

one pig bringing up the rear with a tail now so
tightly kinked that it lifted his hind-quarters
clear of the ground at every second leap.

But Amanda's mind was glued on strawber-
ries ; and for the present other matters of mo-
ment require us, too, to leave the escaped pris-
oners to their own devices.

Half a mile away the Poet and his sister sat
on a boulder beside the road. It was a semi-
public road winding around the foot of a
wooded hill. Behind them, a mile away, was
the railway station. That mile had been mostly
uphill, and the Poet did not love physical ex-
ercise. He was tall and lean, with a geometrical
figure composed mainly of acute angles. When
in a state of repose, it resembled a carpenter's
pocket rule which protested at being entirely
shut up. The Poet's sister, on the contrary, was
mainly curves — those delicate, subtle curves

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

that deny the presence of bones, yet repel any
suggestion of fat. She was young ; not too
young — just young enough to have won the
crowning glory of spinsterhood. She had quan-
tities of red hair, the kind of red hair that always
goes with that astonishingly transparent skin
underneath which scattering amber freckles
come and go over-night. There was one now
on the side of her nose, which had a becom-
ingly mirthful tilt at the end. Her lips were full
at the centre, carmine, and with finely shaped
corners which could not by any possibility be
drawn downward. She wore a solid pair of calf-
skin boots, with military heels which looked
small while being ample in size. Her dark walk-
ing-skirt barely reached the interesting spot
where her bootlaces were tied. Her waist, of a
soft, cream-tinted material, left her neck and
throat bare — for which the Lord be praised !
— and a shapeless, yet shapely, fluffy white

• • • 14* • •

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

thing resting on the coils of her hair seemed to
absorb warmth from them. In short, you will
make no mistake when you keep your mind
fixed on the Poet's sister.

"Just around the next turn of the road,
George," she was saying, " our little summer
Elysium will burst upon your view/*

The Poet mopped the long, solemn coun-
tenance that was belied by his eyes and his man-
ner of speech.

" Galatea, I have observed that most things
clysian in this life are generally just around the
corner. I am not impatient. I can wait. In
fact, I should prefer to have that first view burst
upon me while I am comfortably seated in the
spring wagon of — What did I understand you
to say the gentleman's name was, Galatea ? "

" He is called Gabe.'*

"Doubtless a corruption of Gabriel. I won-
der if Gabriel blows his trumpet for breakfast ? *'

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

Galatea's lips parted in a musical ripple of
laughter. The sight would have caused a dent-
ist to pass on, with misgivings about his fut-
ure. The Poet merely remarked : —

"Galatea, are you sure we brought our tooth-
brushes?*' Whereupon the dentist would have
been heartened by the sight of a tiny point
of gold shining out of the crown of her left
bicuspid.

" George, you lazy thing, come on. It 's only
half a mile further. Gabriel probably missed us
at the station, and has returned by the main
road."

" Oh, well, if all roads lead to Elysium, I
suppose it 's no use waiting here."

Slowly the Poet's angles adjusted themselves
to the upright position, and he strode on beside
his sister.

So you really like the place, Galatea?"
It 's lovely — just the spot to give you in-

• • • 10* • •

€€

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

spiration, George, I shall expect great things
of you, dear/'

** Will it inspire me to reduce the rhythm of
Anacreon to ragtime, do you think ? ''

" O George ! And there are the Professor's
pets, you know — Mrs, Cowslip, Clarence,
Reginald, Gustavius, and William. I told you
about them. The Professor has the most won-
derful knack of understanding domestic ani-
mals and making them understand him. Really,
they look upon him as one of themselves. The
Professor says we do our domestic animal pets
great injustice when we overlook their loyalty
and intelligence, refusing to meet them half-
way in friendly companionship. Why, with
only a little encouragement they develop the
most remarkable emotions, almost human in
their complexity ; while their powers of ex-
pression develop correspondingly. Positively
the Professor and his cow, and colt, and pig,

• • • T / • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

and bull-calf, — William the goat. Napoleon
the dog, and Cleopatra the mare were away the
day I called to arrange about the lease for the
summer, — are just one big happy family/'

Galatea's cheeks were flushed with enthusi-
asm. The Poet's eyes twinkled, but his face
remained long and solemn.

" What name does the pig answer to ? "
" Reginald ; but he 's a nice, clean pig."
** Yes, of course, being a member of the Pro-
fessor's family. By the way, did you have an
opportunity to note Reginald's table manners?"
O George, how perfectly absurd ! "
Not necessarily. I give way to no man in
my determination to do justice to my fellow
creatures, irrespective of the number of legs
with which they are equipped. As the Professor
has left us in undisputed possession for the next
six months, there 's no telling what we may ac-
complish. What sort of voice has Reginald ? "

• • • lo • • •

€€
€€

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

" George, I shan't tell you another thing ! "

"There, there. It merely occurred to me
that, as neither you nor I nor Arthur sings —
By the way, Galatea, I suppose Arthur will run
over occasionally in his new automobile, the
lucky beggar?"

"I lay claim to no advance information
respecting Arthur's intentions," answered the
Poet's sister, in cool, even tones. The flapping
brim of her headgear was between the Poet's
eyes and her cheek, suddenly turned pink.

" Oh, well, I was only thinking what a boon
Arthur's banjo and my guitar would turn out to
be if the pig should develop a romantic tenor
voice. By Jove, Galatea ! If that 's the place, I
apologize for everything."

They had reached the turn of the road that
overlooked their summer Elysium. The Poet
distributed his joints over another roadside
boulder, while Galatea stood by his side, and

• • • JQ • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

gave his attention to the charming scene in
detail.

" Really, a fine, rambling old house surrounded
by shaded verandas below, and not too near the
road. A stone- walled inclosure of half a dozen
acres sloping down to a pretty brook that flows
under the lower wall just below the barn —
a comfortable red barn ; a barn that is n't red
is only half a barn. A kitchen-garden and an
orchard, and the rest pasture that is neat enough
for a lawn. What romps we shall have, Gala-
tea, with the colt and the bull-calf! What *s
that vine-covered afl?air reared against the west
gable of the house ? Oh, a water-tank. Just so ;
there 's a pipe connecting underground with
the brook, and that wind-wheel on the barn
roof does the pumping. Good ! I anticipate the
luxury of an occasional tub. I was afraid Ely-
sium was like Germany — lots of romance and
no bathtubs. Galatea, we shall do — we shall

• • • 20* • •

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

do beautifully. But I say, what's that funny-
looking thing on the peak of the house
roof?"

" Is n't it the chimney ? ''

" It looks to me like a saw-horse/'

They walked on. After passing through a
grove of chestnuts, they had a nearer and better
view of the house.

" No, it is n't a saw-horse," said the Poet.
" It moves. Did you see it ? "

Galatea looked embarrassed.

" Galatea, the thing on our roof looks to me
uncommonly like a billy-goat. Galatea, it is a
billy-goat — I can make out his whiskers."

"Yes," Galatea admitted reluctantly, "it
must be William-''

"Very well, I foresee trouble for William.
I am quite willing to collaborate with the Pro-
fessor and take William to my bosom on equal
terms as a brother, but no billy-goat shall be

• • • 2L I • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

the man higher up in my family. William has
got to get down off that roof."

Presently they turned in at the gate — and
then the Poet doubled up like a jack-knife.
Galatea plumped down on the grass and laughed
till she cried. A nice clean fat pig, with a sort
of Elizabethan rufHe about his neck, raised him-
self on his forelegs and sat at a little distance
from Galatea, grunting mild inquiries respect-
ing the object of her call. The ruffle was ex-
plained by the presence of several other articles
of feminine wearing apparel scattered about
on the grass, evidently undergoing the bleach-
ing process. In making a selection for his own
adornment, the pig had not been quite discreet.
A sleek and motherly cow, with one crumpled
horn, lay in the soft earth of a tulip-bed, chew-
ing her cud. Her total lack of humor was
manifest in the complacent glances which she
bestowed upon her offspring, a reckless-looking

• • • 22* • • •

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

bull-calf, which wore a peach-basket unneces-
sarily on one of his hind-legs. This scene of
domestic contentment was further enhanced
when a saucy yearling colt put his head out
through the kitchen window and shook it
knowingly at the intruders, as much as to
say: —

" Go away, strangers. fFe are at home, and
you ought to be."

And then the colt, the cow, the bull-calf, the
pig wearing the improvised ruffle, and the goat
from his perch on the roof, united in a glance
of intense astonishment at the girl seated on the
grass. Why was she swaying her body up and
down in that foolish fashion, while her hands
beat the air aimlessly and her throat emitted
incomprehensible gurgles, like the bull-calf
with a turnip stuck in his gullet ?

Oh dear, oh dear ! " choked Galatea.
Amanda 's stepped out somewhere, and Bos,

I

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

Equus and Co. are in full charge. The cow
chewing her cud in the tulip-bed — oh dear,
oh dear ! The bull-calf picking up stray peach-
baskets, and the colt in the kitchen — oh dear,
oh dear ! The pig wearing one of Amanda's
— ha ! ha ! he ! he ! — one of Amanda's new-
est aramatums for a collar ! Slap me on the
back, George ; I shall die — oh dear, oh dear !
And the goat overlooking things from the roof!
Come and fan me, George. Oh dear, oh dear ! **

But the Poet had recovered his accustomed
solemnity of visage. He stood with arms folded,
contemplating the goat.

"Bos, Equus and Co. are plainly within
their rights,'' he said, "excepting the goat.
The roof of our house is not a proper place
for any member of our family, two-legged or
otherwise. William, come down from there!'*

The goat wrinkled his nose at the Poet. It
was as though he had said : —

• • • 24>* • •

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

" Why should I waste words on a stranger
and an interloper ? '*

" Come down, William, Come down, or I '11
assert the last remnant of my authority as a two-
legged person/'

William stamped his foot on the shingles in
a manner plainly hostile. The Poet picked up
a good-sized cobble-stone.

"William, for the last time I warn you.
Come down ! '*

The goat backed up two or three steps and
shook his horns.

"Very well, William, your blood be on
your own head'*; and the Poet threw the
cobble-stone.

Now, as is well known, a goat has only one
really vulnerable spot, namely, his curved and
bony nose. Furthermore, a goat's nose — like
the beard of the prophet — is sacred. There-
fore, when the cobble-stone, flying straight

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

from the Poet's incautious hand, struck Wil-
liam forcibly upon his most honored feature,
the situation became grave. Stopping only to
make one grimace of anguish, partly physical
but mainly of his outraged soul, he ran to the
west gable, leaped down upon the water-tank,
thence to the woodshed roof, and from there
one leap landed him on the ground. Measur-
ing with his inflamed and malevolent eye his
distance from the Poet, he began backing
slowly, with portent that could not be misun-
derstood.

** O George, he 's going to butt you ! **
screamed Galatea. " Sit down ! sit down ! *'

But the Poet stood gazing at William like
one fascinated. Having backed to a distance
satisfactory to his nice discrimination in such
matters, the goat lowered his nose and launched
himself forward straight as an arrow aimed
for the lank, concave surface which indicated

... 20* • •

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

the Poet's stomachic region. Perhaps it was
the goat's waning enthusiasm over a mark so
little inviting, — at any rate the impact of his
horns was only sufficient to cause the Poet to
sit down with promptness.

" O George, did he hurt you ? " asked Gal-
atea anxiously. " I told you to sit down.'*

** I believe I took your advice, Galatea," said

the Poet, looking about him in a dazed manner.
The goat was slowly backing again. There

was a look in his eye which said more plainly

than words : —

" Perchance you 've had enough ? If not,

there 's more where that came from."

Don't get up, George," said Galatea.

Don't move. Sit where you are and he '11

go away."

" I 've no intention of getting up," answered

the Poet. " I 'm perfectly comfortable where
I am, thank you. Besides, I 'm not one of those

27...

• • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

low-spirited, truckling persons who insist on
standing in the presence of a superior/*

The cow, the bull-calf, the pig in his ruffle,
and the colt looking out of the kitchen window,
were regarding the spectacle with evident sat-
isfaction. The goat, as though satisfied that his
wounded honor had been sufficiently avenged,
began slowly consuming one of the white gar-
ments bleaching on the grass.

In her excitement Galatea's hat had escaped
from its fastening and fallen to the ground.
Just now the sun shone through the branches
of an old cherry tree, converting her loosened
coils of dark red hair into a scarlet taunt which
the bull-calf could not ignore. With hind-legs
wide apart, because of the peach-basket, he was
pawing the earth with his forefeet and uttering
adolescent bellows of rage.

" Do you think, dear, that he means me ? *'
asked the girl anxiously, starting to rise.

• • • ^Q • • •

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

" Yes, dear, it 's your turn/' replied the Poet
complacently.

" But Tm — I'm sitting down."
"It's that red badge of provocation you
carry about under your hat, Galatea. Why in
thunder did you take it off? Look out ! He's
coming ! "

The Poet rose, intending to intercept the
bull-calf, . whose progress was somewhat im-
peded by the peach-basket ; but, noticing the
goat backing away for another assault, he sat
down again.

"Quick, Galatea ! The cherry tree ! ''
There was a comfortable branch at about
the height of a man's shoulder, with a wooden
bench under it. With the bellowing bull-calf
close at her heels, Galatea ran to the bench and
— not without a generous display of striped
hose — swung herself up to the branch, leaving
the enemy pawing the earth innocuously below.

• • • 20* • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

" Galatea/* remarked the Poet solemnly, " I
always said that those striped ones of yours
were unlucky. Do you remember ? **

" Shut up, George ! " Galatea tucked her
little boots under her on the branch, smoothed
out her walking-skirt, and leaned against the
trunk of the tree with the manner of a young
lady accustomed to the usages of the very best
society. George had the indecency to laugh.

"George, if I were a full-grown man I
would n't sit on the grass the whole afternoon
just because of a poor, innocent little billy-
goat."

" Galatea, if I were a perfectly proper, highly
educated and accomplished young lady just out
of Vassar, I would n*t roost in a cherry tree just
because of an innocently inquiring bull-calf.'*

Then they both laughed.

Just then the colt whinnied long and joy-
ously.

• • • <o* • •

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

** Giddap,*' sounded a voice from the
road.

A sleek-coated young bull-terrier, very much
alert, bounded down the path and stopped sud-
denly, as though divided between astonishment
and indignation at the sight of the cow in the
tulip-bed.

" That must be Napoleon,*' said Galatea.
*' Gabriel is returning.**

A spring-wagon, loaded with trunks and
boxes, and drawn by an extremely well-fed bay
mare, whose driver, stoop-shouldered and sun-
burnt, perspired uncomfortably in his Sunday
clothes, came into view on the driveway be-
yond the cherry tree, and stopped.

" How do you do, Gabriel ? '* said Galatea,
smiHng upon him from the cherry tree.

" Pleased to meet you, Gabriel,** said the
Poet affably, from his seat on the grass.

For at least a minute the man in the wagon

• • • 7 T • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

gazed upon the scene in silence, slowly open-
ing and closing his mouth. Then he jumped
down, remarking : —

" Jumpin' Jehosephat ! Sic'em, Napoleon ! '*
The terrier jumped for Mrs. Cowslip's nose.
She rose from the tulip-bed, but stood at bay.
There was a great clatter of hoofs in the
kitchen, and the colt ran out through the open
door and began kicking up his heels gleefully
under his mother's nose. The bull-calf, the
goat, and the pig arrayed themselves, as for an
argument, beside the cow.

" Amanda ! '* bawled Gabriel. And then to
the Poet : " Be you folks hurt, or only skeered ?
I must a' missed ye, waitin' for t'other

train."

it

We 're only scared, I think," answered the
Poet, rising cautiously, with one eye on the goat.
Gaktea slid down from her perch and joined
them.

• • • ^2 • • •

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

" Darn the critters ! '* said Gabriel. " It 's all
Amanda's fault. Of course she had to go trap-
sin' off somewhere. Amanda ! O Amanda ! "

Amanda appeared in the edge of the orch-
ard, with a tin pail in her hand, indicating with
a wave of her apron that she was coming as fast
as she could with her heaping pail of straw-
berries.

" I locked 'em up," said Gabriel. " But, laws,
't aint no use lockin' up critters edicated by a
college perfessor."

" Fer th' land sakes ! " ejaculated Amanda,
arriving breathlessly and taking in the whole
scene at a glance.

The pig went up to her, grunting amiably in
his white ruffle.

" You shameless critter ! " said Amanda, with
her face aflame, as she tore the indecorous gar-
ment from Reginald's neck.

"Ha! ha! ho! ho! ho !" laughed Gabriel.

• • '33' * '

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

"Serves ye right, Amanda, for goin' off
an' leavin' edicated critters loose around th'
house/*

" Shoo ! " said Amanda, waving her apron at
Mrs. Cowslip, who merely gave her a mild look
of reproach.

" Git back to th* barn, all of ye,** com-
manded Gabriel, with no better result.

"Say it, Gabe,** said Amanda, stamping her
foot.

"No,** answered Gabriel, " I must n*t. It
keeps their feelin's hurt for a hull day. Th*
Perfessor would n*t like it.**

" I don*t care, Gabe, you jest say it.*'

" Say what ? ** asked the Poet, overcome with
curiosity.

" W*y,** explained Gabriel, "ye see, it *s th*
Perfessor *s idee that these critters are jest as
good as he is. Ekel rights for man an* beast,
he calls it. You bet they*re willin*, consarn

34

• • ^ yi • • •

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

'em ! It *s only when they want to run th' hull
place that he resorts to extreme measures, as he
says. Then he shouts a queer, heathen word at
*em, an* they sneak off like a dog caught suckin*

eggs/'

Out of regard for the Professor's feelings
Gabriel proceeded with such comparatively
mild measures as flicking Mrs. Cowslip with
his whip, and trying ineffectually to push the
bull-calf toward the barn. The colt danced
about, nipping at him with bared teeth. But it
was Reginald who brought things to a climax.
The pig, escaping the teeth of the terrier, ran
between Gabriel's legs, sending him sprawling
on his back.

Say it, Gabe,*' called out Amanda.

You bet I '11 say it!" Gabriel replied, ris-
ing and confronting the four-footed mutineers,
now grouped as though conscious that they
had carried matters a trifle too far. Throwing

• • 35* • *

€€

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

out his chest, Gabriel thundered the single
word : —

"ABRACADABRA!*'

The effect was magical. The Poet and his
sister could hardly believe their eyes. Instantly,
with head drooping in the most dejected man-
ner, the colt started toward the barn, followed
by Mrs. Cowslip and the bull-calf, their tails
now drooping and sorrowful. Next went the
goat with conscience-smitten mien, and at the
end of the melancholy file was the pig, squeal-
ing plaintively, all the kink out of his tail.

"Wait a bit, this won't do at all! '* suddenly
exclaimed the Poet, with more excitement in
his voice than his sister had ever before noted.

" Do ye want to be a friend to th' critters ?"
inquired Gabriel.

"I 'm going to be a brother to them,'* said
the Poet.

** And I 'm going to be a sister to them, poor

• • • ^0* • •

THE TWO-LEGGED PARTNERS

things!'* said Galatea. "Didn't the Professor

have some word with which he expressed his

forgiveness, and his love, with a gentle reproof

and warning to be more careful in the future?"

she added, looking at Gabriel with soft appeal

in her eyes.

" Sartin', sartin'." Gabriel scratched his head.
"I can't jest remember. It begun the same,

with a-b ab — '*

"Of course," broke in the Poet. " The can-
onical form of pronouncing absolution."

He ran after the delinquents, calling them
by name : " O Mrs. Cowslip ! Clarence ! Gus-
tavius! William! Reginald!"

They stopped and looked back penitently.
Galatea ran to her brother's side. He held out
his hands and cried: —

"ABSOLVO!"

"Absolvo, absolvo!" echoed Galatea.

Cheerftilly, but with subdued spirits. Bos,

• • '37* ' *

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

Equus and Co. gathered about their new friends,
accepting their forgiveness with various tokens
of gratitude. The pig lay down at Gala-
tea's feet, grunting contentedly, while the colt
brushed her cheek with his velvet muzzle.
The Poet felt a warm nose in his hand, and

was not amazed to find it was his late enemy's,
the goat's.

"Well, darn my skin!" said Gabriel.

" Galatea, I think we shall do very well —

very well indeed," said the Poet.

WARNING TO THE HORSELESS

11

Fair Warning to the Horseless

BATED on the veranda, in a
low lawn-chair which caused
his long shanks to thrust his
angular knees up to the level of
his chin, the Poet was perusing
the Odes of Horace in the original text, and
pencilling their English equivalent on the leaves
of a small writing-pad. His handwriting was
large and careless. Every minute or two he tore
a filled sheet fi'om the pad and dropped it on
the edge of the veranda floor at his side. A
straggling honeysuckle vine concealed from
him the feet that William was present, and that,
as each sheet fell to the floor, the goat was con-
suming it with every evidence of appreciation.
■-■39 ■■

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

Probably never before had a translation of Hor-
ace met with such instant success.

But presently William, becoming impatient
at the Poet's deliberation, seized a sheet out of
his hand and stood detected. At the same in-
stant a musical peal of laughter from the open
window of the breakfast room proved that the
Poet's sister had been a delighted witness of
the disaster. After one startled look about him,
the Poet realized that the goat's attentions had
been indeed thorough. He had recourse to his
customary whimsical philosophy.

"Galatea,'* said the Poet gravely, "do you
observe that the whole of my manuscript has
been accepted without reading ? That is the
highest compliment possible to pay a poet."

" And yet you hear it everywhere that the
classic poets are not appreciated nowadays."

The girl, still laughing, joined her brother
on the veranda. She was all in pink — fluffy

• • • 40* • •

WARNING TO THE HORSELESS

pinky with a fluffy pink thing flapping above her
mahogany tresses, producing an eflfect impos-
sible to describe, fatal to another woman, in
her case charming. The goat put his forefeet
on the veranda and seemed to nod his approval.

"William," said the Poet, "you have given
me an idea — an idea which may influence my
whole career/'

"Why not?** commented Galatea. "Haven't
you and I been duly initiated as members of
the firm of Bos, Equus and Co. ? Are n't all our
interests mutual ? " And again she laughed.

" I have long been undecided," resumed the
Poet, ** as to whether my muse is classical and
for the few, or modern and for the many; or,
indeed, whether I should not give up poetry for
the plough. William, it shall be for you to de-
cide. I will now compose something for the
masses. If you accept it instantly, as you have
accepted my Horatian Odes — not for publi-

• • • ^€ I • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

cation, it is true, but — er — but for purposes
best known to yourself, I shall at once take
steps to become an honest husbandman. If,
however, you decline what I am about to offer
you, I shall consider myself a properly ordained
Poet of the People, and shall act accordingly,
William, a grave responsibility rests upon your
discrimination."

The goat nodded with an intelligent expres-
sion, his venerable beard sweeping the floor.

"O George, how perfectly absurd! '* laughed
Galatea.

The Poet scribbled on his pad for a couple
of minutes, tore oflF the sheet, and offered it to
William. The goat sniflfed at it, and appeared
doubtful.

** You are quite right, William. Others have
found my handwriting illegible. I will read it
to you.'*

The Poet read: —

• • • ^2, • • •

WARNING TO THE HORSELESS

" Sir Mortimer's poems of note
Were despised by his lady's pet goat.

The goat said, * Oh pschutt I '

And proceeded to butt
Sir Mortimer into the moat."

"Now, William, it's up to you,*' said the
Poet, as his sister, regardless of her fluffy pink
finery, sat down on the floor and shrieked.

But already the goat, looking deeply embar-
rassed, was trotting oflF toward the barn.

"That settles it,*' said the Poet solemnly,
**I am ordained Poet of the People."

Galatea got up, gurgling, and rested her
flushed cheek on her brother's collar.

"George, you 're the most delicious old thing
ever created."

He held her oflf, regarding her curiously.

"All in pink? Nothing like pink to show
dirt. Wherefore all this regardlessness of ex-
pense, Galatea?"

• • '43* * •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

She took a letter from her bosom and gave
it to him,

" It *s from Arthur. It came in the morning
mail. I didn't want to disturb you — and Wil-
liam — in your literary labors. You'd better
read it now.'*

The Poet read: —

"'I'm taking a little spin out your way in my
new Red Ripper. Will reach your place about
noon. If you 've nothing else to do, we can
have a whirl down the old Post Road and back
before two o'clock. Then I must be off to
Stamford on an important engagement about a
portrait — in fact, it means the price of this
modest luxury on wheels. But do give me the

«

two hours. Think what poetic wonders George
may accomplish in that time, undistracted by
your luminous presence.* **

"* Luminous presence* isn't bad,** com-
mented the Poet. "That is, for Arthur. Don*t

• • • jla,* • •

AT SKEMED TO NOD HIS APPROVAL

r

V

>, . J

' f 4

'.Wi

WARNING TO THE HORSELESS

you give him any of your impudence, Galatea.
We can't afford to quarrel with people who
can own Red Rippers/'

"Rubbish, George. Arthur is sometimes
very trying. He is n't half as handsome as he
thinks he is."

" But you arc, Galatea. Be charitable. You
could do much worse than go through life in
— in a Red Ripper. Noon, did you say ? "

The Poet looked at his watch. « Why, it 's
eleven-forty already. Hello ! What 's the mat-
ter with our four-legged partners ?"

Cleopatra, with Clarence at her side, had
galloped up the driveway from the. bottom of
the pasture, and stopped, with head up, snort-
ing loudly at something down the road. The
colt could not snort as loudly as his mother,
but he made up by snorting twice as often.
Mrs. Cowslip and Gustavius, the bull-calf, quite
in the dark as to the cause of the excitement,

• • '45* • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

but willing to become excited themselves, were
stopping en route to snatch an occasional
mouthful of grass. Reginald's short legs were
flying in the distance, while he uttered plaint-
ive squeaks at being left behind. The goat was
giving him the assistance of an occasional butt
in the right direction. Napoleon, rudely awak-
ened out of a deep dream of peace, barked
wildly from the edge of the veranda. Amanda
came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on
her apron.

"For the land sakes, what ails the critters ?**
she asked of Gabriel, who had run up from the
potato-patch, armed with his hoe.

Gabriel ran to the side of the colt, glanced
down the road, and came back laughing.

" It 's one of them there hossless buggies,*'
he said. "The mare never could stand the
sight of 'em, and the colt takes after her. They
take it as a personal insult for a buggy to go

• • • ^Lw • • •

WARNING TO THE HORSELESS

humpin* along like that without a hoss to pull
it/'

"It's Arthur/' said Galatea, "He's made
better time than he expected to, and he '11 be
unbearable."

The whirr of the wheels was now audible.
Cleopatra and Clarence, with a final snort of
rage, put their heads between their forelegs,
slashed out vindictively behind, and galloped
off to the far side of the driveway. The Red
Ripper turned in swiftly from the road, giving
Mrs. Cowslip the fi-ight of her life as she
plunged, bellowing, to the rear of her defiant
equine comrades. At sight of the shining red
enamel, Gustavius, for one instant, contem-
plated a valiant charge, but thought better of
it barely in time to save his skin, if not his
dignity.

As though to make the affront beyond all

forgiveness, the driver of the red thing steered

47...

• • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

straight on toward the barn, then, describing a
graceful circle about his outraged spectators,
returned and came to an abrupt halt near the
gateway. He lifted his cap to Galatea with easy
grace, and jumped from his seat to take the
Poet's outstretched hand.

" Good boy. You did that with almost hu-
man intelligence.** The Poet's eyes twinkled
— the nearest approach to a smile in which he
had ever been known to indulge.

"Yes; rather neat, I call it. Isn't she a
beauty ? Only two tons weight and forty horse-
power ; maximum of sixty-nine miles an hour
on a level road ; climbs hills like a goat ; the
only sparking device that never hitches — "

" Kind to women and children and stands
without hitchin'," drawled the Poet.

" Quit your kidding, George," and then, at
a loud snort from Cleopatra : " I say, George,
who 're your friends ? "

• • • j^Jn • . •

WARNING TO THE HORSELESS

" Including Galatea and myself, they Ve Bos,
Equus and Co/'

" Oh, freedom of the place — part of the
family, eh ? You *re a queer chap, George, They
don't seem quite friendly. I hate to break up a
happy home, you know/*

**It does look like it, Arthur. The mare
can't bear the sight of a vehicle that is inde-
pendent of her services. The bull-calf resents
its brilliant color. Besides, they all hang to-
gether on general principles. However, Gala-
tea and I still retain a few of our characteristics
unchanged by these associations. We forgive
you.

Gabriel and Amanda returned to their duties
in potato-patch and kitchen. The Poet went
into the house, leaving the Artist with Galatea
on the veranda. She had given him her hand
with a bewildering smile, but as he immediately
began to chatter interminably about his auto-

• • "49* * *

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

mobile and the great things he was going to do
in the way of speed, her red lips shaped them-
selves into a curl that was not so pleasant, ^nd
if he had noticed the satirical little side glances
she gave him now and then, his tone would
have been much less complacent.

The Artist was really an excellent fellow,
stalwart, straight-limbed, and undeniably hand-
some. His type originated with the new gener-
ation of popular fiction illustrators. You would
instantly recognize his smooth-shaven face, his
straight nose, and his determined chin for those
of the plain American young hero who walks
unconcernedly into the boudoir of the Crown
Princess of Grossbock (who falls desperately
in love with him at first sight), and presently
rescues her from the very foot of the throne,
dashing with her in his arms through a whole
regiment of Hussars, without turning a hair.
It was not to be expected that such a hero

• • • CO" • •

WARNING TO THE HORSELESS

would remain sacred to the romances over
which little girls weep tears of joy and longing.
The daughter of Isaac Ickleheimer called her
father's attention to him one day, and ever since
then he has adorned the advertising pages of
the magazines, attired in the most lovely ready-
to-wear clothes, with shoulders more than hu-
man.

But the Artist could n't help this, any more
than he could help chattering about his new
automobile to a girl who was dying to have
soft nothings whispered in her ear. After a
while Galatea, realizing that such hopes were
doomed to disappointment for the present,
abruptly choked off the dissertation on Red
Rippers by dragging the Artist in to luncheon.

With the human element thus eliminated,
now occurred one of those scenes which gave
to the present chronicler his chief inspiration.

The red thing being quiescent, Cleopatra and

.•• ex***

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

Clarence had ceased their snorting and were
approaching cautiously, with occasional coy
side-prancings, yet with a curiosity in their eyes
that was not unmixed with vindictiveness. Mrs.
Cowslip and Gustavius grazed near by, with one
eye open to developments. William surveyed
the red thing speculatively, evidently wonder-
ing whether it offered a profitable opportunity
for butting, while Reginald, the pig, less im-
aginative than the others, rubbed one of his fat
sides tentatively against a rubber tire.

"Not so bad,*' grunted Reginald. "A bit
too smooth, that 'sail; don't seem to take hold
like the Professor's finger-nails — "

*• Look at that fool pig/* whinnied Clarence
to his mother. " Reginald has no dignity. I
would n't demean myself by such condescen-
sion to an enemy with such a vile-smelling
breath."

" That proves that the thing is really alive,"

• • • 52 • • •

WARNING TO THE HORSELESS

commented Cleopatra. ** It 's eaten something
that don*t agree with it.*'

"It*s breath smells just like Gabe's lantern
when he 's late with his work in the barn/*
said Mrs. Cowslip, coming up, with Gustavius
by her side, shaking his sharp sprouts of horns
truculently.

The pig braced himself against a corner of
the metal framework in front, and grunted
with more unction : —

" Ah ! this is better.**

**Why don*t the thing show signs of life ? **
complained Cleopatra. "Then I*d know
where to plant my heels. It was lively enough
a little while ago.**

Gustavius, with calf-like bellows of provo-
cation, was exercising his sharp little horns on
one of the rubber tires.

"Why should you be so incensed against
such a lumbering old thing ? ** asked Mrs. Cow-

• • 'S3' ' '

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

slip, with a placid glance at the mare. ''Seems
to me you ought to be grateful to any sort of
wagon that would leave you free to enjoy your-
self/'

" Trust an old cow not to see an inch be-
yond her own nose," snorted Cleopatra con-
temptuously. ** Do you suppose I 'd be wel-
come in this family if I was n*t useful ? There 's
nothing for me to do except pull the buggy,
or Gabe's wagon. Why, even that delightful
red-headed girl, who always has sugar in her
pocket, helps Amanda in the garden.'*

** True," admitted Mrs. Cowslip. *' And I
give milk."

"Lucky for you," said Cleopatra signifi-
cantly. "When I think of my Clarence and
your Gustavius, I tremble."

Mrs. Cowslip looked startled. "What do

you mean, Cleopatra ? "

" I don't want to alarm you, my dear, but I

. . . ji^. . .

WARNING TO THE HORSELESS

can't forget that day when Gabe got into the
calf's pen with a sharp knife in his hand."

" I 'vc heard of such calamities to my race,"
whimpered Mrs. Cowslip, her moist nose turn-
ing pale ; ** but it never occurred to me that
a child of mine — "

^^ It was Amanda who dragged Gabe and his
knife away," continued Cleopatra. " Her words
ring in my ears yet. She said : * O Gabe, wait
till he 's older and we can roast him. I do love
roast beef; that's what Amanda said."

Mrs. Cowslip sidled affectionately up to Gus-
tavius, who was still worrying the rubber tire
with his sharp sprouts of horns, and licked his
cheek tenderly.

"Don't bother me, mother," said the
thoughtless bull-calf. " I feel that I 'm making
an impression on this thing."

" If you do," said Cleopatra, " and it shows
signs of life, just you watch me, that's all " ;

• • • 55* * •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

and, laying back her ears, she experimented
with her heels to be sure that they were in
good working order.

" Me, too/' said Clarence, following his
mother's example with a significance not to be
misunderstood.

** If you 're really making an impression,"
bleated William to Gustavius, backing away
and shaking his horns, " one good, swift butt
ought to do the business."

Gustavius moved his hind quarters to one
side, and bored away with one horn as hard as
he could.

" Clear the track," bleated the goat ; " I 'm
coming ! "

On came William with a rush that aston-
ished even himself. The last leap was twelve
good feet in mid-air. With his neck stiffened
like a rod of steel, the roots of his horns struck
the rubber tire squarely just below the boring

• • • sO* • •

WARNING TO THE HORSELESS

sprout of Gustavius. There was an explosion
and a fierce puffof something in their faces that
sent both the goat and the bull-calf back on
their haunches.

" It 's alive ! It *s alive ! '' shrieked Cleopatra,
as she wheeled about, filled with the joy of
battle.

Lashing out with her heels at the red thing
amidships, the mare's heels clattered among
the driving-levers most ominously. Clarence's
heels, being out of range in his excitement, did
no damage. They looked around, snorting,
awaiting the enemy's retort. To their surprise
the red thing remained motionless.

"Pshaw!" exclaimed Cleopatra, *' what's
the use of attacking such a spiritless creature,
anyway?"

"In my opinion you 've killed it," said Mrs.
Cowslip. " I never saw such a smash in my
life."

•'•57"'

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

"It was I who finished the thing/' boasted
Gustavius, finding himself unhurt. " I felt its
last breath in my face/*

William turned away in disgust.

The pig, engrossed with his own selfish pur-
suit of new dermatological sensations, had been
only momentarily disturbed by these events.
He felt that something was lacking.

" If I could only get my back under some-
thing/' he complained. "I wonder if it's safe
to crawl under the thing?"

Reginald investigated, and was interested.
" There 's a lotof little jiggers under there that
look as though they 'd just fit my back."

He got down on his fore-knees and wriggled
under the red thing, grunting, while the others
still debated together on ways and means.

During luncheon Galatea's mood had soft-
ened. She was no longer piqued at the Artist's
detailed accounts of the wonders of his new au-

• • • Co • • •

WARNING TO THE HORSELESS

tomobile. Arthur, in a moment of intelligence,
had squeezed her hand under the table.

** In case of a break-down of any kind," ob-
served the Poet, " I suppose you carry all sorts
of tools and materials for repairs ? ''

" I never give the matter a thought," said the
Artist. " She *s such a perfect piece of mechan-
ism that she can't break down."

** But suppose you should run over a pig, or
a cow, and — "

" Oh, in that case I dare say the tool box
might come handy."

Or punctured a tire ? "
The Red Ripper's tires are warranted punc-
ture-proof " ; and the Artist entered into a long
technical description of the new and improved
process which had produced the Red Ripper's
impregnable tires. Galatea sighed several times,
but it was useless.

" After all," drawled the Poet at the first

• • • 59' • *

€€
€€

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

opening caused by a fish-bone sticking in the
Artist's throat, " you can't make a sympathetic
companion of an automobile as you can of a
horse. Why, Galatea and I have the most im-
proving conversations with Cleopatra and the

" Yes," chimed in Galatea eagerly, " even
Gustavius, the bull-calf, understands everything
we say to him. It all proves the Professor's
theory that we don't give these domestic pets
half the credit they deserve for intelligent and
affectionate interest in us and our affairs.**

** I 've heard of your Professor and his crazy
theories about animals," said the Artist, having
swallowed the fish-bone. "I '11 bet you do just
as he did — you keep your pockets full of sugar
for the mare, and you scratch the pig's back."

^'Arthur, you haven't the first concep-
tion — "

" No, Arthur," broke in the Poet, seeing the

* * * 00* * *

WARNING TO THE HORSELESS

fire in his sister's eyes, "you could n*t even see
that Cleopatra was aware that your Red Rip-
per is a menace to her means of livelihood/*

" Pooh ! George, the mare is n't used to
automobiles, that 's all/*

The Artist looked at his watch. " I think
we had better be going, Galatea ; I *ve just
twenty-five minutes in which to whirl you
thirty miles and back/'

Galatea disappeared, and returned in a mo-
ment with her fluffy pink costume, hat and all,
covered by a hooded cloak of gray silk which
became her exceedingly. The Artist put on his
cap and gloves. At that instant a series of heart-
rending squeals filled the air.

" Something has happened to Reginald ! "
exclaimed the Poet, and his long legs flew as
he rushed to the rescue.

When Galatea and the Artist caught up with'
him, he was on his stomach half under the

• • • o I* • •

«

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

Red Ripper, tugging with all his might at one
of Reginald's hind legs. The pig's squeals grew
louder and more hopeless. Cleopatra, the colt,
the cow, the bull-calf, and the goat, huddled
together, looked on from a distance with ex-
pressions of wondering innocence. Napoleon
barked furiously at the Poet's waving legs.
Gabriel came running up with a fence-rail on
his shoulder. The Poet emerged, perspiring
and baffled.

" The critter 's stuck, darn him! '* said Ga-
briel. "We must lift the machine."

He thrust one end of the rail under the Red
Ripper's frame. " Now, all together ! "

The Poet and the Artist joined Gabriel with
their shoulders under the rail, the machine
rose an inch or two, and Reginald, choking
a final squeal in his throat, scrambled out.
At least three square inches of his back were
ravished of their bristles. Not a particle of

• • • 02 • • •

WARNING TO THE HORSELESS

kink remained in Reginald's tail. Straight for
the barn he ran, emitting short grunts of relief
and contrition.

** Great snakes ! '* exclaimed the Artist.
" Look at that rear tire. There *s a hole in it
you could throw a dog into.'*

Nobody could offer any explanation, the bull-
calf having forgotten all about it. The Artist's
eye suddenly lighted on the bent driving-levers,
and for half a minute his language was far from
polite.

** I warned you about Cleopatra/* said the
Poet ; "but you would n't give the mare credit
for sufficient intelligence to protect her personal
interests."

" Do you think, Arthur, that we will be able
to whirl thirty miles and back in twenty-five
minutes with a flat tire?" inquired Galatea
innocently.

** Of course you can," said the Poet solemnly.

• • • 0^* • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

**The Red Ripper is such a perfect piece
of mechanism that she can do it on three
wheels/*

"That's right, rub it in/* said the Artist.
" When I came out here I did n*t count on
being hoodooed by these four-legged friends
of yours that cian do everything but talk/'

"They can talk too/' retorted Galatea wick-
edly; "and they don't confine their harangues
to automobiles, either."

The Artist winced. Galatea had one more
shot for him.

" If you positively must be in Stamford at
three o'clock, I 'm sure Cleopatra will be only
too glad to oblige you."

"The blacksmith down to the station can
fix you up in ten minutes," spoke up Gabriel.
" He 's a reg'lar genius at tinkerin' up hossless
buggies."

" It 's mostly down-hill to the station," said

• • • 04i« • •

WARNING TO THE HORSELESS

the Poet; "I 'm sure Cleopatra will be charmed
to assist the Red Ripper that far."

Galatea sat down on the ground and laughed.

**Gosh, yes," said Gabriel, starting for the
barn. " I '11 go an' git her harness."

The Artist surrendered. He sat down beside
Galatea, while the Poet looked the other way,
and whispered things that made her eyes shine.

When Gabriel reappeared with the harness,
a whiffletree and a stout chain, Cleopatra's com-
plete understanding of the situation could not
be doubted. She thrust out her head for the
collar, welcomed the bridle, and before the
straps were buckled trotted proudly into posi-
tion before the vehicle, which was now no better
than an ordinary buggy.

"Isn't shea dear?" said Galatea.

"All aboard; git in," said Gabriel. "Mind
and be careful about the brake — it 's down-
hill."

I

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

With a grimace the Artist placed himself in
the chauffeur's seat. Gabriel handed him the
reins.

"I'll foUer an' bring back the mare/* he
said. "Giddap, old gal."

^Cleopatra looked around^ shook her head^
and refused to budge. Gabriel laughed, and
looked at Galatea.

" You '11 have to git in. You can't fool the
mare; she sees you're dressed for drivin'."

The Poet, with great gravity, helped his sister
up beside the Artist. Galatea took the reins.
At her cheerful, familiar , chirrup Cleopatra
stretched her fine muscles, and, while the colt
pranced about, kicking up his heels in irrepress-
ible joy at this warning to the horseless, dragged
the ponderous, vanquished enemy into the road
and away. Never before stepped a mare of pedi-
gree so proudly, nor trailed along a Red Ripper
so ignobly.

• • • 66 • • •

PIG-MALION AND GALATEA

III

Pig-Malion and Galatea

ALATEA!" hailed the Poet
from the bottom of the stairs.
"Yes, George?"
"There 's a letter from Ar-
thur. Come down."
" I can't, this moment. Je suis en deshabille."
"I thought so; your voice sounds full of
pins. But you don't need to air your Vassar
French. The pig is n't listening."

" My French prose is better than your Eng-
lish verse. What does Arthur say?"
"He'll be out here early."
"What for?"

** Girl, have a care I While you are about it,
make the most of the small charms with which
the good Lord has endowed you."

...67...

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

" I will, brother mine; I 'm expecting Reg-
inald to have his back scratched.**

Truth to tell, the pig was already contem-
plating a call with that object in view. Since
early morning Cleopatra and her yearling colt,
Mrs. Cowslip and Gustavius, and William, the
big-horned one, had diligently cropped the
dewy grass of the lower lawn until their sides
bulged, while Reginald was so replete with
artichokes that he was constrained to sit on
his haunches and grunt stuffily while making
occasional rude comments on the gluttony of
his comrades.

"You have often reproved me for being
greedy," grunted Reginald as the colt harvested
a luscious bunch a yard from where he sat,
"yet I have never tried to eat up the whole
pasture between sunrise and noon.**

" Don*t give me any of your impudence,** re-
torted Clarence, with his mouth full, "or I *11

• • • Oo • • •

PIG-MALION AND GALATEA

shut my teeth on one of your ridiculous, flap-
ping ears/*

"If you gave milk/' commented Mrs. Cow-
slip, " you would understand the necessity of a
stomach filled with something better than arti-
chokes/*

" Ha ! ha ! '* laughed the pig, with his mouth
wide open. "The sides of your son bulge like
the sides of the barrel in which Gabe keeps your
breakfast of bran. Ha ! ha ! does Gustavius give
milk?"

"Let me at him, mother,** said the bull-calf,
waving his tail aloft and lowering his horns.
" I *11 teach him ! "

"No, you don't,** said the pig, showing sur-
prising agility. " You greedy fellows annoy me ;
I *m going to the house and get that red-headed
girl to scratch my back.**

So intensely satisfied with himself that the
kink in his tail tightened to the verge of dis-

• • • 6q • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

comfort, Reginald scampered across the lawn
and up the steps leading to the veranda. With
his forefeet on the top step he halted at a gruff
challenge from Napoleon. The bull-terrier,
with teeth unpleasantly visible, barred his way
to the door.

"My goodness,*' said the pig, with easy as-
surance, "how you startled me! You were
always such a joker.'* And Reginald got his
forefeet on the veranda floor.

" Now, that *s the limit,** growled Napoleon.
** One step farther, and I *11 have your ears in
ribbons.**

"You don't know how handsome you are
whenyouput onthatfierce look,** said the pig in
flattering tones. " Any stranger would believe
you in earnest. But you and I know each other.**

"What do you want?** growled Napoleon,
somewhat mollified in spite of himself by the
pig's flattery.

* * * T^J • • •

PIG-MALION AND GALATEA

" I *ve nothing to conceal from you, Napo-
leon. I never have. I Ve come to get that
lovely red-headed girl to scratch my back.**

"You'll have to wait; she *s inside.'*

" I *11 go right in/* grunted Reginald com-
placently; "no trouble at all, I assure you.
Just step one side. Napoleon, and I won't dis-
turb you in the least."

"You'll come right in?" Napoleon was
boiling with indignation. " Who ever heard of
a pig in the parlor? You'll get right out of
here before I make you."

Reginald assumed a look of injured amaze-
ment as he replied: "Is it possible. Napoleon,
that you really mean to do me this injustice ?
Have you forgotten that we are all on terms of
equality here?"

Not in the parlor," growled Napoleon.
No pig gets into our parlor, not if I know
it."

• • • y T • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

"But you go into the parlor whenever you
please/* grumbled Reginald.

" It 's part of my business to go all over
the house and see that there *s no trespassing.
That *s what 's been expected of us dogs ever
since the world began. Amanda raised an awful
row that time the colt got in the kitchen. But
I was n*t to blame, being away from home with
Gabe and Cleopatra.'*

The pig, with all the stubbornness of his race,
refused to be convinced.

"The Professor used to invite me in often,"
he complained. "The red-headed girl would,
too, I *m sure, if she knew I was here.**

"No, she wouldn't. She*s busy with that
automobile chap. Can't you hear their voices
through the window?**

Reginald listened. Yes, it was the voice he
loved so well — when accompanied by the de-
licious sensation of one of Amanda*s cast-off

• • • /2 • • •

PIG-MALION AND GALATEA

nutmeg-graters being rubbed smartly up and
down his spine. It was cool and even, and was
saying : —

" No, Arthur, I won't go for a walk, thank
you. I don't think I like you very well to-day.
You explain that you walked over from the
station out of regard for the feelings of Cleo-
patra and Clarence, and yet you are wholly
oblivious of my feelings. You come out here
without your Red Ripper on an ideal day for
a spin, and then you add insult to injury by
talking of nothing else. Arthur, I hate your
Red Ripper, I despise its phenomenally per-
fect sparking device, I loathe its triple-speed
gear—'*

The pig lifted up his voice in supplication.
It was not in vain. Galatea emerged upon the
veranda, smiling a welcome to Reginald, whom
the Artist regarded with dark looks of resent-
ment.

73--

• • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

" Good-morning, Reginald ; won't you be
seated?*' she said brightly, dragging forward
an easy-chair.

The intelligent pig scrambled into the chair,
making confidential little throaty grunts out
of the side of his mouth into the ear of his
hostess. The bull-terrier satisfied his dignity
by barking one brief comment for Reginald's
benefit : —

"Now what do you think? This isn't the
parlor. Perhaps you'll understand after this
that the veranda is the limit, for a pig/*

"Hush, Napoleon," commanded the red-
headed girl. "Here, get up beside Reginald
and make him feel at home."

It was a wide chair. After but one in-
stant of disgusted hesitation, the bull-terrier
obeyed.

" What has the terrier done that he should
be so humiliated?" asked the Artist, who

74- ••

. • •

PIG-MALION AND GALATEA

had even more than the average man's respect
for dogs as compared with other domestic ani-
mals.

The girl ignored the question. There was
something odd and unfamiliar in her manner,
a peculiar glint in her eye, her full lips were
drawn in a straighter line than usual. Having
no professional interest in the scene, the Artist
— unluckily for him — observed none of these
ominous signs. Galatea shook her finger in the
terrier's face.

"Napoleon, your manner toward Reginald
is not cordial. Sit closer ! '*

The terrier meekly obeyed. The pig gave
him an expansive smile. The Artist began an
impulsive protest : —

"Oh, now, I say, Galatea — **

" Napoleon ! Reginald ! Salute eacli other ! *'

The dog thumped the chair with his tail,
the pig grunted amiably, and they pressed their

• • • 75 * • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

cheeks together like affectionate children. The
lank figure and solemn visage of the Poet ap-
peared in the door.

" What is Napoleon's crime that he should
suflfer such punishment?** he inquired.

"Just as I was remarking/* began the Art-
ist; "but — **

"That will do/* said the girl, taking no no-
tice of these comments. " Now sit up and look
pleasant; you are about to have your pictures
taken by a very celebrated artist.**

Both Reginald and Napoleon assumed at-
titudes really remarkable for their ease and
naturalness.

"Ahem!** began the Artist, growing very
red in the face, and stopped abruptly at a coolly
inquiring glance from Galatea.

"Do I understand,** she inquired frigidly,
" that you take the absurd position of Paderew-
ski, Calv6, Jean de Reszke, and other public

• • • y Q . * .

PIG-MALION AND GALATEA

favorites, and disdain to exhibit your art upon
social occasions ? **

"Not at all/* answered the Artist hastily,
while the Poet regarded them solemnly, but
with a twinkle in his eye. " No, but — Well,
you see, I — I am not accustomed to have pigs
sit to me for their portraits — at least, not upon
social occasions/*

" It is perhaps as well that you should un-
derstand fully that Reginald is a personal friend
of mine, and that we are on terms, not only of
sympathetic affection, but of perfect equality/'
And the girl placed her arm about the pig's
neck with a caressing touch that sent him into
a transport of appreciative grunts.

" If I thought that you were guying me — **

The girl turned upon him sharply. " Have
I ever insinuated that you were guying me
when you compelled me to listen for hours to

mechanical details about your Red Ripper ? I,

• • • / / • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

to whom poets are proud to read their original
manuscripts in advance of publication ? "

"Arthur,'* said the Poet gravely, "Galatea
is right. This is a case of love me, love my pig.
Your professional pride need not suffer. In fact,
the result of your labors may bear appropriately
a title that is classical." He turned to his sister.
** Galatea, I assume that you are to be in the
picture — you will sit with the pig?**

" Certainly,'* said the girl, as a swift glance
of understanding passed between brother and
sister.

" Why, then, just consider, Arthur,'* said the
Poet cheerfully, " you can send your picture to
the Fall Exhibition catalogued as, * Pig-Malion
and Galatea.' "

The girl laughed in spite of herself. Even
the over-serious Artist was not proof against a
conceit so pungent. But Galatea's mood puzzled
and disturbed him, for he really loved her as

/ • • ' yo • • •

PIG-MALION AND GALATEA

self-complacent young men often do love girls
of keen wit and analytical minds.

"Unfortunately," he said, **I have no draw-
ing materials with me/*

" I can supply them," replied the girl, rising.

Reginald grunted reproachfully and started
to scramble down from the chair.

" O Reginald, forgive me. I had forgotten
you came to have your poor back scratched."

She turned to the Artist. "Arthur, kindly
hand me that nutmeg-grater over by the honey-
suckle vine."

The Artist obeyed. The pig grunted in
grateful anticipation. Galatea applied the nut-
meg-grater where she knew by experience it
would do the most good. Napoleon sniffed dis-
gustedly, jumped down from the chair, and
went to the Poet for consolation.

"Now, Arthur," said the girl presently,
handing him the nutmeg-grater, "you attend

• • • 70 • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

to Reginald while I go for the drawing ma-
terials/*

The Artist took the unfamiliar instrument,
looked at it, and then at the pig, and then at
Galatea. He seemed dazed. As has been re-
marked before in this truthful narrative, the
Artist was a most correct and proper young
man. He was fashionably dressed, and with
excellent taste. He would have considered it
a crime to wear a cravat that disagreed by so
much as a single dot or stripe from the prevail-
ing mode. The thought of having in any way
transgressed the rules of good form, as laid
down in the exclusive club of which he was a
member, would have tortured him for weeks.
Could he conscientiously scratch a pig's back
— with a cast-ofF nutmeg-grater ?

Galatea drew up a chair close to that occu-
pied by Reginald. " Come, Arthur ; you will
not find Reginald ungrateful.**

• • • oO • • •

PIG-MALION AND GALATEA

"Galatea/' said the Artist, with a suppli-
cating glance into the girl's eyes as he moved
toward the vacant chair, "when I leave this
evening will you walk part way to the station
with me?'*

"Are you going to be a true friend to my
friend — to Reginald?"

The Poet had strolled to the other end of
the veranda.

"Yes, Galatea. You could have no friend
who would be unworthy of my friendship."
In spite of the nutmeg-grater in his hand, in
spite of the waiting pig, his manner and his
voice were romantic.

" Yes, Arthur, then I will walk with you to
the station." But the smile she gave him was
reflective, and at least half of it rested on the pig.

The Artist sat down obediently and applied
the nutmeg-grater with a will to Reginald's
back. Galatea disappeared within the house.

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

Presently she was heard calling to her brother.
The Poet followed her. He found her in the
library, sitting limply in a straight-backed chair
and holding her handkerchief to her mouth.
With a gesture of warning she dragged him
into her own little den off the library, closed
the door, and gave her merriment full rein.
The Poet regarded her solemnly. Presently she
was able to speak, though her phrases were
interrupted by convulsions of cachinnation.

" George, it is perfectly clear — that in one
respect Arthur — is hopeless — Never, never,
never — never in this world will he acquire the
slightest sense of humor. Think of it ! At this
moment — with an old nutmeg-grater, he is
scratching a pig's back — with all the serious-
ness — and attention to detail — that he would
give to a portrait of — the Empress of Russia
— George, a little while ago I was angry with
Arthur. I thought him stupid, self-sufficient,

• • • o2 • • •

PIG-MALION AND GALATEA

insufferable. But now, when I think of him
out there — irreproachably attired — scratch-
ing Reginald's back — with all the grave po-
liteness — and earnestness — with which he
would hand around cups of tea at one of Mrs.
Van Rensellaer's afternoons — I — I almost
love him.**

The Poet had not even smiled.

"Galatea/* he said, without a trace of his
customary solemn banter, "don't you carry this
thing too far with Arthur. He *s as good as
gold. He *s a young man among a million.**

" George, Arthur is more than human. I
won*t have it. He *s got to let himself down,
like ordinary people.**

" He is a man of honor — honor that is deep-
rooted, ancestral.**

" He is a slave to the perfectly correct forms
endorsed by the Knickerbocker Club.**

" He is a gentleman. He lives in the coun-

83..-

• •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

try upon acres that are his own, and is a father
to those who serve him/*

"He is sacred to the memory of * noblesse
oblige/ and he rubs it in/'

" Galatea, you arc an impudent and improvi-
dent young woman. As your legal guardian I
would feel justified in locking you in your
room, and keeping you there until you could
realize the blessings you have and the oppor-
tunities that are open to you/*

" George, you are becoming almost as stupid
as Arthur is. I would n*t have thought it of
you. Listen. I am going to reform Arthur. I
admit he *s worth saving. It is hopeless ever to
expect him to develop a sense of humor, but
he shall at least cultivate a sympathetic interest
in Bos, Equus and Co.'*

She took from her desk and thrust into the
Poet's hands pencils and a sheet of Bristol
board.

• • • Qa • • •

PIG-MALION AND GALATEA

" Take these to Arthur, please. I *11 join you
in a minute/*

The Poet shook his head doubtfully, but
obeyed. The girl stood for a moment with her
finger on her lip, smiling. Then she took from
a work-basket needles and thread and a yard or
two of faded pink ribbon, and, picking up a
somewhat dilapidated specimen of the fluffy
chiffbn headgear which she affected, she re-
turned demurely to the veranda where the Art-
ist was still painstakingly exercising the nut-
meg-grater on Reginald's back. The pig lifted
his nose and grunted in her face, with language
that could not be misunderstood : —

"Ah, at last! Our mutual friend here has
been doing his best, but he falls short of ex-
actly the right touch. Evidently he 's inexpe-
rienced.'*

" Thank you, Arthur," said Galatea ami-
ably, accepting the post which the Artist sur-

• ••OS***

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

rendered to her. "Reginald says you have been
very attentive. Now he will reciprocate by
posing in his very best manner. Attention,
Reginald ! "

The pig assumed a serious and dignified ex-
pression. The girl sat beside him, placing the
chifFon affair daintily over his ears. The Artist
seated himself opposite with pencils and draw-
ing-board. The Poet leaned against the veranda
rail and looked over the Artist's shoulder. His
long visage had resumed its customary expres-
sion of whimsical solemnity. The Artist's man-
ner was unaffectedly professional.

" Does the hat belong to the pose ? " he asked.

"Yes," said Galatea. "The idea is that of a
girl thoughtful for the comfort of her dumb
friend. To protect his head fi'om the rays of
the July sun she places upon it the hat taken
from her own head, already well protected by
nature."

• • • oO • • •

PIG-MALION AND GALATEA

"True/' commented the Poet. "I Ve often
thought how chagrined the July sun must feel
when he attempts to vie with your blazing top-
knot."

"As a matter of fact/* went on Galatea com-
posedly, "the flies have been worrying poor
Reginald's ears terribly. Hereafter he shall have
the same protection as other civilized beings.'*

The Artist's pencil moved swiftly. With
needle and thread Galatea attached a pink rib-
bon to each side of the hat, — while Reginald
grunted confidential inquiries in her ear, — and
then tied them in a bow under his fat chin.

" There, Reginald, you 're perfectly lovely.
Now if you '11 promise to sit perfectly still for
five minutes, while the gentleman takes your
picture, I '11 give your back my personal atten-
tion." And she showed him the nutmeg-grater.

" Your goodness of heart is only exceeded by
your beauty," grunted the grateful pig as plainly

• • • oy • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

as words could have said it. " Believe me, I
shall always be responsive to your slightest
wish."

" I have an idea/' said the Poet. " If you
will excuse me I will go and indite a Disserta-
tion on a Pig That was Not Roasted.*' And he
disappeared into the house.

From time to time Galatea stole a glance at
the Artist's face. It had the composure of a
painter whose mind is concentrated on his sub-
ject and who feels that he is doing conscientious
work. A look of more than admiration came
into the girl's eyes. They grew tender. The
nutmeg-grater had dropped from her hand, and
she was deaf to the wheedling grunts of Reg-
inald. Presently she seemed troubled, as though
dissatisfied with herself.

"Arthur," she said gently, "I did n't expect
you to do more than make a rough sketch."

" Oh, that 's all right, Galatea. This is a new

• • • oo • • •

PIG-MALION AND GALATEA

and valuable experience to me. I 've neglected
animals. I could n't have a better chance than
this. Would you mind asking Reginald to turn
his face a trifle to the left? There — that's
splendid.'*

The girl bit her lip and tapped with her foot
on the floor. She even gave Reginald an im-
patient glance.

" I never realized until now," said the Artist,
as he took a steady look at Reginald's profile,
"how much expression there is in a pig's face."
Indeed ? '* said Galatea shortly.
Of course Reginald is an exceptional pig.
He has advantages, and associations, which few
pigs enjoy."

A sharp retort leaped to the girl's lips, but a
glance at the Artist's perfectly serious and pre-
occupied expression caused her to stifle it.

"I had a horse once," he went on, as he
limned Reginald's snout with a sure hand,

• • • oQ • • •

€€
€€

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

**who actually smiled in the most convincing
manner. There was no mistaking it. I suppose
that was because I spent so much time with
him. After all, it is not so wonderful if domes-
tic animals do acquire traits of some human
friend who gains their confidence and their
affection.'*

Now this was one of Galatea's favorite argu-
ments. But, strangely enough, the Artist's en-
dorsement of it in the present situation did not
seem to appeal to her. She drew her chair away
from Reginald's, ignoring his reproaches, and
asked : —

"Wouldn't you rather finish your sketch
some other time?"

" No ; I am ashamed now that I did not
accept your suggestion with greater enthusi-
asm — Look up, Reginald ! that 's the idea —
in the beginning. That double curve where the
jowl meets the neck is different from anything

• • • 00 • • •

PIG-MALION AND GALATEA

IVe seen in another subject. Unless youVe
tired, I '11 be grateful for four or five minutes
longer/'

He had hardly glanced at the girl. Clearly
the pig was claiming his whole attention. She
turned upon Reginald a look that paralyzed him
with amazement, and then addressed the Artist
in her softest voice : —

" Do you think your automobile will be safe
where you left it, Arthur?'*

" Oh, yes, perfectly. Look! the intelligence
of Reginald is wonderful. I was just wishing for
a more serious expression, and he has already
assumed it. Wonderful, really wonderful ! **

" If some mischievous boy should tamper
with the rubber tires, I should feel to blame,'*
said Galatea. "There are no boys about here.*'

"No danger. Now if you '11 lift that bit
of chiflFon out of Reginald's eyes — Oh, you
frightened the poor chap ! "

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

Galatea turned her back on the pig. Once
more she tried to show her amicable inten-
tions.

" I did n*t quite understand your explanation
of your new sparking device, Arthur. Does the
spark ignite the gasolene ? Or does the gasolene
ignite the — "

** Yes, that 's right — Would you mind giv-
ing me one look at Reginald with the hat off?
I want to be sure about that right ear.'*

Galatea snatched the hat off so rudely that
the pig squeaked his sense of unmerited rebuke.
The Artist drew a few rapid lines and heaved
a sigh of satisfaction. He held up the sketch
for Galatea's inspection.

Do you think it will pass?*'
Magnificent,*' she said, barely glancing at
it. "Thank you so much. Now, if you must
go, I *11 get my hat and walk with you.**

"Oh, will you? It is early. We can turn into

• • • 92 • • •

SIT FERKKCTLY STl
GESTLKM

KOR FIVK MIN'UTKS WHIl.R THE
TAKES YOUR PRTl'RK

»<:

1

PIG-MALION AND GALATEA

that picturesque old wood-road, and you can
easily get back before dusk/'

Galatea took the sketch into the house, and
presently returned wearing a hat which was
merely a fresher copy of the one which the
Artist had replaced on Reginald's ears.

"Shall we invite Reginald to accompany
us?'' he asked. "He 's been so good."

Galatea's indignant surprise nearly betrayed
her. She managed to nod assent.

" Come, Reginald," said the Artist, cheerily.

The pig scrambled down, squeaking his de-
light, and the odd trio, all at cross-purposes and
none aware of it but the girl, passed out through
the gate and strolled down the road. Galatea
was silent. The Artist glanced at her with a
troubled look, but her head was bent and the
flapping chiffon thing on her coils of mahog-
any-colored hair concealed her eyes from his
view. The Artist's star was in the ascendant,

• • • 93 ' • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

but he was the last who would have known
it. It was a situation that called for blunder-
ing — and the Artist could be trusted to blun-
der.

" It was good of you to give me that chance
with the pig," he said.

** Reginald!'* exclaimed the girl. "Regi-
nald, run home, at once,'' and she stamped her
foot at the astonished pig.

With plaintive squeaks Reginald obeyed,
making his short legs fly back over the road.

They walked on in silence until they had
entered the shadows of the wood-road. Sud-
denly Galatea sat down on a stump, put her
handkerchief to her eyes, and began to sob.

"Why, Galatea, what have I done!" The
Artist turned pale. " Are you ill ? Shall I go
for help — for a doctor?"

An emphatic shake from the shapeless chiflFon
thing.

• • • Q^ • • •

PIG-MALION AND GALATEA

" Do you want to be alone ? Shall I leave
you?"

Another shake — and more sobs.

The Artist fell on his knees beside the stump
and dared to take her hand.

" Galatea, never in this world could I know-
ingly give you one moment's pain. You know
how I love you, and I know how hopeless is
my love. I shall continue to love you to my
dying day, and there is no sacrifice I would not
make to see you happy. Tell me, Galatea, how
I have offended you.'*

She raised her head and looked at him stead-
ily. He wondered that she did not look her
displeasure. Instead, there was something in her
expression — he could not think what — that
made his heart thump.

"Arthur," she said, "will you do just as I
tell you?"

" Only try me, Galatea."

• • • 95 • " '

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

"Stand out there, in the middle of the road."

He did so. She rose and faced him at arm's
length.

" In the first place, don't you dare to inter-
rupt or contradict me.*'

He bowed, wondering.

"Arthur, I *m a mean, low, deceitful crea-
ture, and I don't deserve any consideration
whatever from anybody. Just now I 've made
up my mind to reform — but that will take
time. I want you to come out to see us often
and note how I 'm getting on. Now, look over
your left shoulder."

He turned his face from her. Quick as a
flash she leaned forward, her lips brushed his
cheek, and the next instant she had turned
and was flying down the road homeward. He
stretched out his arms and started in pursuit of
her, crying out : —

"Galatea! Stop! Come back !*'

• . • q6 • • •

PIG-MALION AND GALATEA

Then he remembered her commands, and,
seeing that she ran faster than ever, prudently
turned his steps in the opposite direction. But
he could n't feel his feet touch the ground.
Yet, in the midst of his tumult of exultation,
he was puzzled. Suddenly he smote himself on
the chest and exclaimed : —

" Of course. It 's because I had sense enough
to be polite to the pig/'

THE OBSEQUIES OF BOS NEMO

IV
Ti/e Obsequies of Bos Nemo

all was gladness and light
the entwined lives of Bos,
[uus and Co. There came a
^ early in July when the
ofidence of Galatea and the
Poet in their four-legged partners was stretched
almost to the breaking-point. But for the wis-
dom of the Poet, which assured him that, after
all, civilization is only a thin veneer which is
liable to crack open under stress of provocation
and reveal the savage man or the unenlightened
beast, Mrs. Cowslip and her bull-calf, on that
memorable day, would have been condemned
to solitary confinement in the barn, while Na-
poleon, the bull-terrier, would have fallen vic-
tim to the flimsiest of circumstantial evidence.

...98...

THE OBSEQUIES OF BOS NEMO

Ordinarily the activities of Bos, Equus and
Co. did not have their daily awakening until
at least an hour of sunshine had striven with
the dew-laden meadow. Gabriel's duties were
Ught,and rheumatic warnings urged him against
braving early damps. Amanda, most energetic
of housewives, refrained from disturbing her
pots and pans out of regard for the Poet and his
sister, who dearly loved that last hour of slum-
ber made more sweet by the chirpings of early
birds under their windows.

On this particular morning the dozing Poet
was conscious that the voices of the birds were
eclipsed by ominous rumblings which, instead
of arousing him to complete consciousness,
plunged him into the midst of a perilous ad-
venture. He was on the deck of an ocean liner
enveloped in the dense fogs of that awesome
region off the Banks of Newfoundland. His
body and soul were shaken by the vibrations of

• • • QQ' • •

5'^;\7^^C^

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

the siren, whose long-drawn warning was being
echoed from out of the mists. No, it was not
an echo — it was another siren. Its menace was
growing louder ! A ghastly gray shape hove
near. The officer on the bridge seemed frozen
with terror. The relentless ocean, scoffing at
sirens and rudders, was hurling two ships into
a fatal embrace. The Poet jumped for a life-
preserver, striking his head violently upon —
upon an old-fashioned walnut bedpost.

Then he realized that it was the melancholy
voice of Mrs. Cowslip, interrupted by lament-
ing bellows from Gustavius, that had so nearly
brought him to a watery grave. He ran to the
open window, and heard Amanda complaining :

" Gabe, what on earth is the matter with the
critters ? For the land sakcs do git up ! '*

From his window the Poet could see Mrs.
Cowslip and the bull-calf side by side, with
their necks stretched out over the barnyard

• • • 100* • •

y
/

THE OBSEQUIES OF BOS NEMO

gate, sending forth their lamentations toward
the bottom of the pasture, where the brook ran
under the stone-wall into a thicket of old wil-
low trees heavily encumbered with wild grape-
vines. He could hear Cleopatra and Clarence
clattering about uneasily on the floor of their
stalls, while Reginald squealed for his breakfast
with more than his usual insistence, and their
neighbors in the hennery cackled inquiringly.

Gabriel was kicking on his boots outside the
kitchen door when the Poet and Galatea hur-
ried down, eager to know how they could calm
the feelings of their four-legged partners.

** Oh, pshaw ! *' said Gabriel, seizing a tin
milk-pail, "critters are like folks; they have
their ornery spells without knowin' what 's the
matter with 'em.*'

" I never saw Mrs. Cowslip paw the dust
up over her head before,'* said Galatea. " Sec !
Now Gustavius is doing it."

• • • loi* • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

" She 's giving her offspring lessons in some
mysterious rites of her species/* said the Poet
oracularly. "I shall investigate and make a
note of it/*

" No, it 's instinct/* said Gabriel, as the
Poet and his sister accompanied him to the
barnyard. " You can edicate critters till you *re
blue in the face. You can teach *em to act like
human folks almost, and then some day, all of
a sudden, they *11 forgit everything and do the
same fool things their great-grandmothers did."

Gabriel entered the barnyard with a three-
legged stool, butted his head into the flank of
Mrs. Cowslip, and proceeded to play a pleasant
tune on the bottom of the tin pail. Gustavius
was not distracted by this familiar operation.
Suddenly he redoubled his bellowings over the
barnyard gate. Mrs. Cowslip wavered between
surges of emotion and her respect for Gabriel.

"So, boss,** commanded the man with the

• • • 102 • • •

THE OBSEQUIES OF BOS NEMO

half-filled pail between his knees. And then, as
Mrs. Cowslip switched her tail in his face:
"Stand still, darn ye ! '*

Such language at such a time was not wise.
Mrs. Cowslip, ignoring intervening obstacles,
rushed to join Gustavius in a duet of lamenta-
tion, leaving Gabriel on his back with the milk-
pail overturned into his protesting bosom. He
rose, gasping, with arms hanging limp like a
man trying to get as far away from his clothes
as possible. At that moment Amanda emerged
wildly from the hennery, screaming : —

" Gabe ! Gabe ! They 's only four eggs under
the speckled hen ! *'

"What's that?*' asked Gabriel, startled out
of his fury at Mrs. Cowslip, although he could
feel streams of warm milk trickling down into
his boots. "Only four, Amanda? The hull
dozen was there, yesterday. I took the hen off
an* counted *cm.'*

• • • 103 • » •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

They looked at each other as though stunned
by a calamity too dreadful for words. Amanda
was first to recover her speech. Her eye traveled
down Gabriel's soaking garments to the tin pail
bottom up on the ground, and, with the gen-
uine feminine logic which men find so charm-
ing in such moments, she said : —

" Gabe, I do believe you Ve spilled all the
morning's milk ! '*

" No,"' drawled the Poet soothingly, " he has
it all in his pockets."*

" Hush, George,'' said Galatea. And then to
Amanda : —

" Were the eggs valuable ones ? '*

"Valuable!" exclaimed Gabriel. "They
was only one settin' of 'em in th' hull county.
Amanda was crazy for 'em, and so was Si
Blodgett, darn the old hypocrite ! He and
Amanda bid against each other till I had to pay
fifty cents apiece for them eggs ! "

• • • 104** • •

THE OBSEQUIES OF BOS NEMO

"Oh dear!'* said Galatea. "Then they
were n*t hen*s eggs at all ?*'

** Hen eggs ? I should say not. They were
Golden Guinea eggs, and no more to be had
for love or money."'

Mrs. Cowslip and Gustavius lowed dismally,
casting dust upon their heads.

"There 's sympathy for you,*' observed the
Poet. "Never tell me again that a cow lacks
intelligence, or a bull-calf perspicacity. Any
one can see that they 're bemoaning disaster to
those eggs.''

" For the land sakes, Gabe, turn the critters
out," said Amanda.

** No," said the Poet solemnly, disregarding
Galatea's warnings not to trifle with disaster,
** they must be held as witnesses ; a crime has
been committed."

Just then Napoleon crawled under the fence,
lifted one front paw, cocked one ear, and looked

• • • 105* • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

inquiringly in the face of the dripping Ga-
briel. Amanda seemed startled by a sudden sus-
picion.

"Gabe/* she said, "do you suppose the
dog—"

" I '11 settle that in two shakes of a lamb's
tail," said Gabriel, who had already divined
Amanda's suspicion.

He took the whimpering terrier by the col-
lar and dragged him toward the gate.

"Wait a bit; not so fast," said the Poet.
"Where 's your evidence against Napoleon?'*

Gabriel pointed to certain yellow stains
about the terrier's muzzle.

" That 's egg — Golden Guinea egg at fifty
cents apiece. Open the gate, Mandy."

"What are you going to do?" demanded
the Poet. ** You can't condemn and execute
a member of the firm of Bos, Equus and Co.
on one little bit of circumstantial evidence."

• • • 100* • •

THE OBSEQUIES OF BOS NEMO

"No, indeed not/* said Galatea.

" But I can give him the third degree, darn
him, an' make him confess,'* declared Gabriel,
who, as constable of the township, had taken
pains to post himself on the latest police methods.

The suspected criminal, his accusers, and his
two champions, proceeded to the hennery and
to the nest of the incubating speckled hen, amid
a chorus of cackling inquiries. Straight up
to the ravished nest Napoleon was led. The
speckled hen pecked him sharply on the nose.
Napoleon yelped.

*' There P' exclaimed Galatea. "It's per-
fectly plain that the hen could defend herself
against a small dog like Napoleon."

" Lift her off the nest," said Gabriel.

The speckled hen squawked, but Amanda
was firm. Galatea lifted up the terrier and
rubbed his nose in the nest.

"What did I tell ye?" said Gabriel in tri-

• • • 107* • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

umph. " D* ye see the guilty look in his
face ? ''

" It is n*t guilt/' declared Galatea hotly ;
"it's reproach — reproach for your unjust
suspicions/*

" It 's righteous indignation/' said the Poet.

"It's guilt/' said Amanda, restoring the
hen to her four eggs. " When a dog has been
stealin' eggs, an' you rub his nose in the nest,
he always looks that way/'

** Besides, there's the yaller on his nose,"
said Gabriel. " Napoleon, you 're goin' to git
th' lickin' of your lifetime."

" Wait," said Galatea. " That 's yellow paint
on Napoleon's nose. I repainted some croquet
balls yesterday, and he 's been playing with
them."

" Ah," said the Poet, " think of all the in-
nocent men who have been hanged on circum-
stantial evidence."

• • • lOo* • •

THE OBSEQUIES OF BOS NEMO

4€

It 's egg/' said Gabriel stubbornly.
It 's paint/' said Galatea. " Gabriel, don't
you dare punish Napoleon."

" At least it 's a case for the experts/' ob-
served the Poet. "We must have a chemical
analysis of Napoleon's nose before he can be
convicted."

" Gosh!" said Gabriel, "what a lot of fuss
all on account of a dog."

" You forget," said Galatea. " Napoleon is
a member of our family ; we 're all on terms
of equality here."

During this argument for and against the
guilt of Napoleon, Clarence, with his head
through a small window in the wall which
separated his stall from the hennery, had been
an interested spectator. As though to indicate
his approval of Galatea's last remark, he bared
his teeth and nipped Gabriel sharply in the re-
gion of his hip pocket.

• • • lOQ • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

"Ouch!*' said Gabriel.

**One more witness for the defense,*' said
the Poet. " Hello, what 's this ? ''

A ragged-edged square of dark woolen cloth,
with a blue stripe, hung from a rusty nail in
the ledge of the window through which Clar-
ence had withdrawn his head in dodging a slap
from Gabriel.

" Behold ! '* said the Poet, displaying the bit of
cloth, which was about the size of a man's hand.
** Behold proof of Napoleon's innocence ! '*

"How d'ye make that out?" demanded
Gabriel.

" By the process known as inductive reason-
ing ; the same kind of reasoning which enabled
Edgar Allan Poe to solve the Nassau Street
murder mystery after the police had given
it up. It is perfectly plain that the thief who
stole those eight expensive eggs wore trousers
of the same pattern as this bit of cloth. In

• • • 1 10 • • •

THE OBSEQUIES OF BOS NEMO

taking the eggs from the nest he stood where
you were standing, Gabriel, when Clarence
nipped you. The speckled hen was not to be
ravished of her eggs without a struggle. She
pecked and she squawked. Clarence heard
her and flew to the rescue. He put his head
through the window, as he did just now, and
he nipped the thief just as he nipped you, Ga-
briel — that is, in the region of the hip pocket.
Only in this case Clarence knew that he was
dealing with a violator of the law, and he
nipped deep. His teeth tore away and hung
upon that waiting nail the clue which will one
day convict the criminal. Look for the man
whose dark, blue-striped trousers have a patch
over or near the hip pocket. How strange are
the ways of justice ! '*

"Well, I swan to man!*' said Gabriel.

Amanda was twisting the corners of her apron

nervously. Gabriel gave her a stern glance.

... Ill ...

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

" Mandy, have you been losin* any more keys
of the henhouse ? **

" I missed one yesterday/* said Amanda
meekly. "Maybe I left it in the lock, havin'
my hands full of fresh eggs/'

Gabriel snorted. He released Napoleon, who
ran to Galatea for consolation, and got it ; and
then the court adjourned to the barnyard, where
Mrs. Cowslip and Gustavius were still lament-
ing.

** I suggest,** said the Poet, "that, as the case
is tolerably clear against the man with the blue-
striped trousers, we excuse these somewhat
doubtful witnesses, who seem to have troubles
of their own."

Thereupon all the four-legged members of
Bos, Equus and Co. were turned loose, and the
two-legged members repaired to the house in
search of their belated breakfast.

During the next hour the agony of mind

• •• 112 ***

THE OBSEQUIES OF BOS NEMO

displayed by Mrs. Cowslip and Gustavius was
somewhat eased by the fresh flavor of the dew-
washed grass with which they set about restor-
ing the rotundity of their sleek bodies. But they
grazed always in the direction of the stone fence
where the brook ran under it, and ever and anon
they lifted up their half-filled mouths and
mourned as eloquently as could be expected of
a cow and a bull-calf in such circumstances.

William, he of the big horns and whiskers,
who was similarly employed, — there being no
succulent sheets or pillow-slips left out to bleach
at so early an hour, — regarded his melancholy
companions with a coldly critical eye. Regi-
nald could be heard grunting thankfully among
the artichokes. It was Cleopatra and Clarence
who, alone, had sufficient good breeding to
accompany their morning repast with amiable
conversation.

"Mother,'' the colt was saying, "what do

• • • 1 13 • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

you make of the extraordinary conduct of Mrs.
Cowslip and her offspring ? Is it colic, or is the
weather going to change?**

*'My son/* replied Cleopatra between nib-
bles, " when you have lived as long as I have,
you will cease all attempts to discover the mo-
tives which actuate the cow kind. Beings of
that species have no intelligence. They have
only a sort of blind instinct and an emotional
capacity which stamps them as primitive in the
extreme, and therefore unworthy to associate
on equal terms with our highly intellectual

race.**

Clarence turned this chunk of wisdom over
in his mind several times, and, being unable to
assimilate it, observed : —

" I overheard Mrs. Cowslip saying something

to Gustavius about smelling death in the air this

morning. I at once counted noses, and none of

the family was missing.**

... 114

• • •

THE OBSEQUIES OF BOS NEMO

" That reminds me, my son, that the cow
kind have a strange custom which probably
dates back to some prehistoric ancestor as su-
perstitious and unphilosophic as themselves. I
refer to their custom of holding unseemly cere-
monies over their dead. I remember once— '*

"But, mother,'* interrupted Clarence, — for
the colt was young and Cleopatra was an indul-
gent parent, — "there are none of the cow kind
in our family except Mrs. Cowslip and Gus-
tavius. You can see for yourself that they are
both alive."

"Haven't I told you, my son, that out
in the great world beyond the stone fence —
which you may visit some day when you are
older — there are many families like ours, in-
cluding the cow kind ?'*

" Now I understand, mother ; perhaps some
Gustavius of the great world beyond the stone
fence has met with a violent death, and our Gus-

• • • 1 1 5 * • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

tavius and his mother feel some intimation of
it in the breeze which comes from that direc-
tion."

" My son/' said Cleopatra, with a proud
glance at her offspring, "I see daily evidences
that the development of your intelligence does
credit to my teaching. Doubtless you have hit
upon the right solution of this mystery. Ob-
serve : Mrs. Cowslip and her son, as they graze,
proceed steadily in the direction of the stone
fence. It would not surprise me if you should
soon see with your own eyes some such cere-
mony as I have mentioned.'*

Cleopatra and Clarence continued their nib-
bling in silence, while each kept one specula-
tive eye upon the comrades whom they con-
sidered so far beneath them. William evidently
had pleasurable anticipations, also, for he post-
poned his usual morning observation of the
surrounding country from the woodshed roof.

• • • no • • •

fV

THE OBSEQUIES OF BOS NEMO

Presently he was observed to rear his horns aloft
and stamp one foot menacingly,

** Look at that fool goat, mother/* said Clar-
ence. " He *s forever looking for trouble/'

Cleopatra raised her head and looked off
down the road. Then she went on quietly nib-
bling.

"Can you see anything, mother?'* asked
Clarence, who was thrilling with curiosity.

" Nothing, my son — nothing but that
strange young man in the buggy that runs
without my assistance."

" Gracious ! '* exclaimed the colt, kicking up
his heels gleefully. "Now we '11 have fun,"

" No, my son, the uncanny thing is beneath
our notice."

Clarence looked at his mother in astonish-
ment.

" The other time that evil-smelling red thing
came swooping into our front yard/' he said,

• • • 117 ' " *

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

" you kicked two ribs out of it because you said
it was a menace to our means of livelihood/*

" Hush, my son. Were they not compelled,
after all, to rely on my services to get the thing
off the premises ? With a slight injury it had
no more life in it than an ordinary buggy. I
thought of this while I was dragging the clumsy
affair to the blacksmith shop. No, my son, that
sputtering red thing with the shocking bad
breath is a false alarm. Our occupation is
safe."

Indeed, the Artist, as hfe graceftiUy turned his
Red Ripper into the driveway and stopped near
the veranda, was relieved to notice that its late
enemies gave it only an indifferent glance. He
was attired from top to toe in the most irre-
proachable new automobile togs, and in his
buttonhole was an orchid of price — purple,
shading delicately into pink. The Artist's spirits
appeared to be as high as his boutonnidre was

• •• iio •••

THE OBSEQUIES OF BOS NEMO

high-priced. It was as though some invisible
herald had announced : " Lo, the bridegroom
Cometh/* The truth is, it was the Artist's first
visit since the day of Galatea's impulsive act
of penitence in the wood-road, and he still
thrilled with the memory of the swift kiss she
had left upon his cheek the instant before she
sped away. All this was well enough ; but it
was impossible for the Artist not to blunder.
His present blunder was in being over-confi-
dent in the memory of that kiss.

The moment the Poet's mahogany-haired
sister, in a trig costume of glossy white linen,
including the prettiest of high-heeled little slip-
pers, came out upon the veranda and cast her
eye over the immaculate, exultant visitor, you
would have been sorry for him — sorry that
God had not gifted him with a modicum of
subtlety in matters feminine.

"Good-morning, Arthur."

• • • 110 • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

Galatea's voice was as cool as one of Amanda's
unplucked cucumbers.

Arthur sprang lightly up the steps, and,
screened by the honeysuckle vine, seized her
hand and kissed it ardently.

" Why, Arthur ! Are you ill ? Has the sun
affected your head ? "

" Don't play with me, Galatea, I 'm too
happy — so happy that I 'm serious. The time
has come for us to understand each other."

Galatea looked curiously at the much-kissed
hand.

" Arthur, you '11 forgive me if I confess to
doubts about ever being able to understand
you."

"Dear — don't, don't say that, after that
moment in the wood-road."

" The wood-road ? " She put her finger pen-
sively to her lip. " Oh, yes, now I remember.
I brushed a mosquito oflF your cheek."

• • • 120 • • •

THE OBSEQUIES OF BOS NEMO

The Artist would not be warned — it was
not his fault, he was built that way. He took
her hand again.

** Galatea ! Galatea ! For the first time
you let me tell you how much I love you.
You confessed that you had not treated me with
consideration, and you asked me to come often
and note the progress of your reformation.*'

Here the Artist paused and kissed Galatea's
hand a great many more times. He did not see
the mischief in her eyes as she drew her hand
away and asked : —

Arthur, tell me, why do you do that ? "
Why do I kiss your hand ? "

« Yes."

" Perhaps it is because I have not courage to
kiss your — Galatea, why did you kiss my cheek
in the wood-road ? "

A series of throaty bellows were wafted to
their ears from the direction of the stone fence

•• • 121 • • •

4€
€€

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

at the bottom of the meadow. Galatea drew
the Artist toward the end of the veranda where
there was a clear view.

"Oh, Arthur! Look at Mrs. Cowslip!
She 11 kill poor Gustavius ! '*

The buU-calFs situation was indeed precari-
ous. He was neatly balanced on his stomach on
top of the stone fence, while his mother, with
frantic bellows, after the manner of her kind
was endeavoring to boost him over with her
horns. Gabriel was hastening to the scene, with
a pitchfork in his hand, and Napoleon, for-
getful of late humiliations, barking at his
heels. Cleopatra and Clarence were snorting
their alarm from a little distance. It remained
for William to relieve the general tension by
planting a terrific butt with such precision that
Gustavius, launched headlong from the fence,
made his first actual acquaintance with the great
world beyond. Before Gabriel with his pitch-

• • • 122 • • •

THE OBSEQUIES OF BOS NEMO

fork could head off Mrs. Cowslip, she, with a
mighty leap and scramble, joined her offspring,
and together, bellowing, they rushed into the
tangle of willows and wild grapevines. Gabriel
followed with Napoleon.

Galatea, having alarmed the Poet, hurried
with her brother and the Artist down the
meadow. Before they reached the fence, Ga-
brieFs head appeared over it. He waved the
pitchfork, addressing Galatea.

**Git back ! Git back ! A cow funeral ain't
no place for wimmen folks ! *'

" Oh, Mrs. Cowslip must be dead,'* sobbed
Galatea, restraining the Artist as the Poet
hurried on and shot his long legs over the
stone fence. ** Poor, dear, good Mrs. Cowslip !
Promise me, Arthur, that you'll save Gusta-

VIUS.

She was clinging to his arm beseechingly.
Arthur experienced one of his rare moments

• • • 123 • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

of real intelligence. He drew a long breath,
and thrust out his chest.

"And if I succeed, Galatea?'*

" Oh, if you succeed, Arthur, — dear Ar-
thur, — I shall try and remember, some day,
to tell you how much I — how much I really
love you.**

The Artist had the most excellent good sense
to kiss her fervently, on the lips, and the super-
lative intelligence thereon to leave her and
rush to the rescue of Gustavius. Galatea re-
turned to the house, went into the library, and
for quite half an hour kept her eyes fixed on
one page of a book that was upside down.

The spectacle that met the Poet*s gaze as he
burst through the grapevine thicket caused him
to exclaim : —

" The obsequies of Bos Nemo, as I *m a sin-
ner!**

The truth of this remark was obvious. On

• • • I24> * • •

THE OBSEQUIES OF BOS NEMO

the margin of the brook, whither his instinct
had prompted him to crawl when fatally stricken
with what Gabriel explained was " the black
leg/* lay the lifeless body of a strange steer,
nameless so far as any one present knew ; and
near by, with their noses to the ground while
they pawed dust over their shoulders, Mrs,
Cowslip and Gustavius, according to the cus-
tom of their kind, were bellowing and mooing
the last rites for the dead. In vain Gabriel
prodded them with his pitchfork ; the obse-
quies! continued with an increasing display of
emotion.

■

" This is news to me,** said the Artist, when
Gabriel had explained that horned cattle never
neglect to hold funeral ceremonies over the dead
of their kind. " It *s like a wake — barring the
pipes and bottles."

" Darn the critters* skins,** said Gabriel ;
**when that cow an* bull-calf come out of their

• • • 125 • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

tantrum they *re goin' to be locked in the barn
to think it over the rest of the day/'

" No/' said the Poet, " that 's not according
to the rules and regulations that govern the firm
of Bos, Equus and Co. Equal rights and privi-
leges to all, irrespective of the individual equip-
ment as to legs — that 's our constitution, Ga-
briel. Mrs. Cowslip has just as much right to
her funeral as I have to mine. Besides, can't
you see, she 's teaching Gustavius the orthodox
bovine ceremony."

Leaving the Poet and Gabriel in charge of
the mourners, being assured that their grief
would presently wear itself out, the Artist has-
tened back to Galatea. He found her in the
library, and his thrilling tale of how he saved
the life of Gustavius merited all the reward it
inspired.

SE17.En HKR HAND AMI KISSED IT ARDKNTLY

»•'

; J

EQUUS MINOR, DETECTIVE

V

Equus Minor, Detective

F all the crazy notions 1 " sniffed
Amanda.

She was filling glass jars with
raspberriesoutof a kettleonthe
roaring kitchen stove, while
Gabriel screwed down the metal tops, perspir-
ing freely in the super-heated midsummer tem-
perature.

" Pshaw 1 " said Gabriel, " this here Poet an'
his sister ain't a bit crazier 'n the Professor was.
D' ye recollect what the Professor said 'bout
'the emotional capacities of so-called dumb
animals,' — I seem to hear his lingo now, —
jest before he went away, after playin' his flute
in the barnyard till pretty near midnight P"
" The Professor was a nice man," admitted
...127...

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

Amanda, " but when it came to dealin' with
critters he was crazy as a bedbug/*

" I dunno, Mandy. I sneaked out to th' barn
that night, an' th' way th' cow an' calf took to
th' Professor's music made my flesh creep. You
know, Mandy, they ain't nothin' in natur' so
doggone stubborn an' foolish as a bull-calf —
not even a pig. Well, you ought 'a' seen th'
ca'm an' peaceful way that bull-calf laid his
chin on the Professor's shoulder an' bla-a-ted
softly to himself when th' slow an' solemn tunes
was bein' played."

** Gabe, you tend to them jars an' quit your
jokin'."

" Honest, Mandy, true as I live an' breathe.
An* when the Professor see I was lookin' on,
he stopped playin' an said to me : * Gabriel,'
says he, 'give me time, an' I '11 teach this bull-
calf to sing the doxology.' An' I 'm darned if
I don't believe he 'd 'a' done it."

• • • l2o • • •

EQUUS MINOR, DETECTIVE

" I Ve heard dogs howl when somebody
played the fiddle/* observed Amanda, "an*
that *s all there was to it. You can't say the
Professor ever had the crazy notion this here
Poet has of givin' a birthday party to a yearlin*
colt/*

"*T ain't th* Poet, Mandy; it's his red-
headed sister. She was out to th* barn th* first
thing this mornin*, while I was milkin*, an*
braided th* colt's mane full of red and blue
ribbons. I saw her kiss Clarence on the nose
an* wish him many happy returns o' th' day."

" For the land sakes ! *' said Amanda.

" She got me to fix up a table in the shade
of the old chestnut on th* lawn, out of a barn
door an* a couple of sawhorses. There *s goin*
to be a birthday dinner at two o'clock, an* all
th* critters are invited.*'

"Be you goin*, Gabe?'* inquired Amanda,
with subtle sarcasm.

• • • 120 • • •

€€
it

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

" Gosh, no ! The dog an' I ain't speakin*
since that trouble 'bout th' Golden Guinea
eggs. You know it 's reely Napoleon that 's
givin' th' party."

Gabe, you jest go *long ! "

Honest, Mandy. That 's th' Poet's idee.
He says th' dog could n't do less after th' colt
savin' him from that lickin', 'count o' them

eggs/'

"Well, I never!" Amanda sat down and
fanned herself with her apron.

" Yes ; an' they 's goin' to be speech-makin*
an' music. That there artist chap is comin* out
with his banjo, an' while the critters are eatin'
an' drinkin' he an' th' Poet with his guitar are
goin' to play duets, jest like they do in them
high-toned restaurants down to New York. I
heard 'em talkin' it over when I was fixin' up
the table out under the chestnut."

" Be you sure the artist-chap 's comin',

• • • 130 • • •

EQUUS MINOR, DETECTIVE

Gabe?*' asked Amanda, all at once losing in-
terest in the main topic.

"W'y, yes. W'y not? Anything wrong,
Mandy ? "

"I dunno; she's been treatin* him awful
cool the last few days.*'

Gabriel laughed. " I was awful gone on a
red-headed girl once myself, — long 'fore I met
you, Mandy, — an' I tell you they keep you
guessin'. You never know how to take 'em.
It 's always a toss-up what to say or do when
you court a red-headed girl. One day you can
grab her and kiss her behind the door, an' she '11
act as if she wanted to thank you for it, an' the
very next day she '11 go into tantrums if you
even wink at her. I tell ye, Mandy, my red-
headed girl kept me guessin' which way she 'd
jump till I got so thin I could n't cast a shad-
der."

" Served you right,' ' snapped Amanda. " Men

... i^ I • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

are so stupid. I s'pose when you got so thin she
could see right through you, she was thankful
to settle down as an old maid/'

" No," said Gabriel solemnly, " she married
and proved a great blessin' to her husband."

"You don't say ! How could that be ? "

" W'y, ye see," drawled Gabriel, " he was
th' livin' skeleton in a circus, an' a month after
th' weddin' he 'd lost so much flesh that they
doubled his salary."

Then they both jumped guiltily at the sound
of another voice : —

" May I come into your kitchen, Amanda ?"

It was Galatea. She was biting her lips,
which were hardly more brilliant than her mass
of mahogany hair, and her eyes twinkled.

"I merely wanted to ask Gabriel if he has
time to pull some young carrots, turnips, and
red beets for our birthday party. George has
dug some artichokes for Reginald." Then she

• • • 132 • • •

EQUUS MINOR, DETECTIVE

added : " Of course you 're coming to the
party ? There '11 be music, you know — guitar
and banjo duets/'

Sartin, sartin," said Gabriel with alacrity.

You '11 want some loaf-sugar for the mare
and her colt," said Amanda, bustling about.

" How good of you ! Now I '11 go and give
Napoleon his instructions as host of the occa-

ti

€€

sion."

With the exception of the bull-terrier, all the
four-legged members of the family had their
noses together in the shade of some willows
down by the brook. They were exchanging
views on a matter that puzzled them greatly.
Cleopatra was apprehensive about the ribbons
entwined in Clarence's mane.

** I 've half a notion," she was saying to her
gayly decorated colt, " that you and I had bet-
ter take to our heels till this thing 's over, what-
ever it means. It 's too much like what I 've

• • • 133 • ' •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

seen at the County Fair in my time — yearling
colts fixed up that way led off by some strange
man and never heard of again/*

" It 's all right, mother/' said Clarence, who
was very proud of his ribbons. " You can trust
that red-headed girl. When she put these pretty
things on me, she laughed and kissed me on the
nose. Besides, look at that fool pig/'

Truly, Reginald did look rather foolish with
the fine bouquet that was tied in the kink of
his tail with a bit of yellow ribbon.

" That *s all I got when I went up to the
house to get my back scratched,'* grunted Reg-
inald. " But Gustavius was no better off. He
wanted that long-legged chap to rub his silly
little horns, but was sent away with that jim-
crack over his ears.**

Reginald referred to a garland which had
given the bull-calf quite an ancient Roman look
until Mrs. Cowslip had eaten half of it. But

• • • T^^ • • •

EQUUS MINOR, DETECTIVE

this was no more than fair, as Gustavius had
done as much for his mother, whose crumpled
horn still retained some twisted stems of daisies
and dandelions. As for William, no amount of
butting could have freed him from the trellis-
work of wire, silver foil, and sunflowers of
which his sturdy horns were the foundation.
He seemed grieved and humiliated over it.

" And you, yourself, mother,*' resumed Clar-
ence, " are included in some scheme of general
festivity. Never have I seen the luxuriant hair
of your tail crimped so beautifully.'*

"It may be that the Professor is returning,'*
suggested Mrs. Cowslip. " I, for my part, shall
welcome him warmly.**

"Ah,** said Reginald, "when you mention
the Professor I am thrilled by the most deli-
cious memories. I seem to feel his highly cul-
tivated fingers along my grateful spine at this
moment.**

• ' • 135 * ' •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

Suddenly Gustavius gave a truculent little
bellow, and shook his horns.

" By the fat on my ribs, it 's the dog ! '* said
Reginald, who secretly liked Napoleon as little
as did the bull-calf, with memories of sharp
teeth nipping his heels ; " I marvel at his con-
descension ! '*

"What did I tell you, mother?'* said
Clarence. "No one ever heard of a dog
being led oflF, yet look at the ribbons on
Napoleon.*'

The terrier was truly a gorgeous spectacle as
he trotted proudly down the pasture. A deco-
ration of red, white, and blue ribbons crossed his
broad chest diagonally, passing under one fore-
leg, the two ends being tied in a large bow on
his shoulders. The colt advanced to meet him.
They had always been staunch friends from
their mutual infancy ; so friendly, in fact, that
when Amanda was away and Clarence expressed

• • • 136 • • •

EQUUS MINOR, DETECTIVE

a desire to go into the kitchen in search of
stray tidbits. Napoleon always managed to be
looking the other way. Now, as they met, the
colt with head lowered and ears pointed for-
ward in token of the utmost amiability and good
will, the terrier leaped up, licking his velvet nose
and barking eagerly : —

" You are to come up to the house at once,
old chum; everything is ready/'

''Is Amanda away, and the kitchen door
open?*' asked Clarence.

" Oh, this is different,'* said Napoleon has-
tily. " It 's the red-headed girl's affair. What do
you say to young turnips, and carrots, and lumps
of sugar afterwards ? "

"Will there be enough for mother, too?"
asked' Clarence, taking care not to speak loud
enough to excite anticipations liable to disap-
pointment.

" Yes, for everybody," barked Napoleon so

• • • 137 * • '

i

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

that all could hear; '^you're all to come at

once/'

44

Well/' grumbled Gustavius, with a shake of
his sprouting horns, ''you needn't be so stuck
up about it."

'' I had an engagement with the red-headed
girl, anyway," grunted Reginald, starting for
the house at a fast trot.

" You just head off that pig. Napoleon, or
he '11 make a mess of every thing," said the colt.
*' Come on, mother ! "

With Clarence and Cleopatra in the lead, and
Reginald sent squealing back to the rear with
Napoleon's teeth at his heels, the summoned
guests proceeded, with rather more decorum
than was to be expected, to the banquet table
under the old chestnut, where Galatea awaited
them smilingly, with outstretched hands.
Catching sight of several inviting peck mea-
sures on the table, Mrs. Cowslip and Gustavius

• • • I^o • • •

EQUUS MINOR, DETECTIVE

broke into a trot, with the result that the last
dozen yards were a neck-and-neck race, except
for Reginald, whose fat legs forced him to
squeal plaintively along behind. As the guests
arrived, Gabriel and Amanda hastened out from
the kitchen, while the Poet, doubled up over
his guitar, and the Artist, holding his banjo
gracefully, with their backs to the chestnut tree,
strummed forth a spirited march.

"Napoleon,** said Galatea, " take your place
at the head of the table.*'

The terrier leaped into the host's chair, put
his paws on the cloth, and awaited further in-
structions.

" Come, Clarence ; as the guest of honor you
will stand on Napoleon's right, and, Cleopatra,
your place is by the side of your son."

With a pat on the nose for each, the girl
brought them to their places. Meanwhile
Gabriel had coaxed Mrs. Cowslip and Gusta-

• • • 130 • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

vius, with William, to places opposite them,
while Amanda prudently stood guard over the
peck measures. Galatea poured balm upon the
wounded feelings of Reginald by inviting him
to take the chair at the foot of the table. It
was a most fortunate arrangement. The pig
would have died rather than show himself in-
ferior to Napoleon in the matter of table man-
ners.

" Galatea, what *s the first course ? ** sang out
the Poet.

" Turnips au naturel^ George, with chicken
d, la Marengo for Napoleon.''

The Poet, for the first time in his life, almost
smiled.

" Arthur,*' he said, " I think ' The Battle of
Waterloo with Variations' will go well with
Napoleon's chicken d^ la Marengo^

Rendered more than usually docile by the

*

music, the guests ate their turnips decorously

• • • lAiO • • •

EQUUS MINOR, DETECTIVE

from the hands of Galatea, Amanda, and Ga-
briel, while Napoleon, as host, nibbled daintily
at his special dish. When the chicken and
the turnips had disappeared, the host and his
guests looked expectantly at Galatea. Napoleon
thumped his short tail against the back of his
chair. The music ended with a flourish,

" George/' said Galatea, " Napoleon re-
quests you to make a few appropriate remarks.*'

The Poet laid aside his instrument, unfolded
his lank limbs, and strode to the side of Napo-
leon, fixing his earnest gaze on Clarence, the
guest of honor, who pricked up his ears. The
other guests — whose usual morning indulgence
in grass and artichokes had eliminated the
fiercer gustatory pangs — were round-eyed and
attentive. Amanda caressed Mrs. Cowslip's
crumpled horn to hide her embarrassment at
being a party to such foolishness, while Ga-
briel chuckled inwardly.

• • • T^ I * * *

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

"Clarence,'' began the Poet, "and fellow
members of the flourishing firm of Bos, Equus
and Co., we have come together upon this happy
occasion to declare a dividend of mutual confi-
dence and esteem. The occasion — which may
have escaped the notice of some of you — is
the first anniversary of the birth of one 'of our
youngest, yet most enthusiastic members. Clar-
ence, many happy returns of this day. We sa-
lute you.'*

The Poet bowed to the colt, who nodded his
head intelligently.

"Yes, yes!" barked Napoleon excitedly;
words could not have said it plainer.

"Gosh!** whispered Gabriel to Amanda,
" who would have believed it ? '*

" Clarence,'* resumed the speaker, " the host
of this joyful occasion " — he turned to Napo-
leon, who nearly wagged himself oflF his chair
— " desires to express publicly his thanks for

• • • I4i3» • • •

EQUUS MINOR, DETECTIVE

the great service you rendered him in that dark
hour '* — here the Poet frowned and shook a
reproving finger at the chuckling Gabriel —
**when he faced unjust punishment on the
monstrous charge of having ravished the nest
of the speckled hen. Then and there, Clar-
ence, you rebuked the short-sighted minion
of the law by nipping him smartly in the
same sensitive region where you had nipped
the real marauder, tearing from him the
clue which will sooner or later bring him to
justice/'

The Poet took from his pocket a ragged
square of blue-striped dark cloth and submitted
it for Clarence's inspection. The colt laid back
his ears and nipped at it. The Poet cast a glance
of solemn triumph around the table.

" Friends and partners," he said, " do we
need any further evidence that it was indeed
Clarence who was a witness of the crime, and

«

• • • 14-3 ' * '

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

performed this service for Napoleon and for
justice?*'

The point was overwhelmingly conceded.

"Doggone my skin! '* whispered Gabriel to
Amanda, " th* colt remembers that rag by th'
smell 1 ''

The Poet put the damning evidence back in
his pocket. Suddenly Amanda nudged Gabriel.

" Of all things, Gabe, here comes Si Blodgett
with a basket on his arm ! "

An undersized, sanctimonious person, with a
smooth upper lip and a tuft on his chin, carry-
ing a covered basket, was approaching from the
driveway. He seemed pained at the evidences
of festivities progressing. When he had ap-
proached within a few yards of the banquet-
table he put down the basket carefully and said :

" Brother Gabriel, Sister Amanda, what is
the meaning of this unseemly scene of levity ? **

The Poet looked interested.

• • • I4i4i . • •

EQUUS MINOR, DETECTIVE

"If, as your manner indicates/* he said
suavely, "you don*t approve of this little cele-
bration, I recommend that you address your
remarks to headquarters, I speak for the host,
— Napoleon, here at the head of the table, —
who is giving a birthday party to our friend and
comrade, Clarence/'

He waved his hand at the colt, and paused
expectantly. The visitor rolled up his eyes and
raised his hands.

"Vanity, vanity, all is vanity ! "

"Oh, your name must be Blodgett,** said
the Poet. " I Ve often heard you mentioned.
Won't you join us ? '*

" I would join you in prayer,** groaned Si
Blodgett. "Would that I might snatch you
from the seat of the scornful.**

Gabriel chuckled. The Poet turned to the
guest of honor, and continued : —

" In conclusion, Clarence, and fellow mem-

• • • J^ c • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

bers of Bos, Equus and Co., I wish to say for
those of us to whom nature has given but two
legs instead of four, but has made partial com-
pensation by bestowing upon us the power of
speech, that we are proud to claim you as
friends, as partners, as equals — *'

"Stop!** groaned Si Blodgett, with hand
upraised. " Remember Moses and the golden
calfl*'

" Look here. Si,** said Gabriel, " don*t you
slander our bull-calf. He ain*t gold. He *11 be
doggone good beef some day.**

" Oh, ye unregenerate ! ** almost screamed Si
Blodgett. " Soon ye will be bowing down to
wood and stone ! **

" Galatea,** said the Poet, " what *s the next
course ? **

" Carrots, George.'*

While Si Blodgett continued to groan un-
availingly, the carrots were served. The Poet

• • • li|.0 • • •

EQUUS MINOR, DETECTIVE

resumed his instrument, and never before was

that classic, " Hiawatha, '^adapted for banjo and

»

guitar, so inspiringly rendered. It was repeated
until Galatea produced the dessert of loaf sugar,
and Si Blodgett showed signs of frothing at
the mouth over the ungodliness of the scene.
As Galatea tripped around the table, drop-
ping lumps of sugar into grateful mouths.
Si Blodgett came forward, stretching his
arms across the table to Gabriel. He had
failed to notice that the colt was keeping one
eye on him, with the accompanying ear laid
back.

**Oh, brother, brother,*' he said, "be-
ware — "

Whatever the warning was to be, it was cut
short by a grunt caused by the colt thrusting
his hind quarters brusquely into Si Blodgett's
stomach.

" Darn th* critter ! '* exclaimed the exhorter,

• • • I^l7 • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

with an astonishing change of voice and senti-
ment. And he slapped Clarence smartly on the
flank.

"Lookout, Si!'* shouted Gabriel. "Th*
colt don't like ye.'*

Si Blodgett dodged barely in time to escape
Clarence's heels. The other guests were be-
coming restless. The Poet and the Artist joined
Galatea beside Napoleon's chair. The exhorter
went and picked up his basket, and, approach-
ing Gabriel, said: —

" It is our duty to be good to those who
despitefully use us. Brother Gabriel, hearin*
you 've been disapp'inted in your hatchin' of
Golden Guinea eggs, and havin' a couple o*
pair of the chicks to sell, I came over to offer
you the first chance. They 're scarce, you know.
I '11 take four dollars a pair."

For the space of at least a minute there was
amazed and breathless silence. Even the Poet

... 148

...

EQUUS MINOR, DETECTIVE

found himself speechless. Amanda stared at Si
Blodgett, and then at Gabriel, whose eyes were
fixed on the basket while he opened and closed
his mouth dumbly. At length speech burst from
him.

" Si Blodgett, where *d ye git the eggs to
hatch out them Golden Guinea chicks o'
yourn ? ''

" The Lord cares for them that serve Him,*'
said the prudent exhorter. " I got them eggs
where you got yourn, an' what *s more, I only
paid twenty cents apiece for *em.'*

" You was there. Si Blodgett, biddin' agin'
me,** said Gabriel, doubling up his huge fists,
" an' you heard th' guarantee that there wa'n't
no more Golden Guinea eggs for sale in th'
hull county."

" That was true. Brother Gabriel ; but, ye
see, I 'd already bought mine three days before,
an' they wa'n't for sale, neither."

• • • 149 * * '

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

Gabriel gurgled and managed to swallow
part of his wrath.

"Give us a look at them chicks/* he
said.

Si Blodgett knelt down on the grass and
picked at the knot of the string that held the
cloth over his basket.

" George ! ** exclaimed Galatea in a startled
whisper, " look ! That man's trousers are of
dark cloth with a blue stripe ! "

" Yes, but wait a bit. Look at Napoleon and
the colt.''

The terrier had jumped down from his chair
and was growling, with bristling crest. Clar-
ence, with ears laid back, had turned about and
was shaking his head at the man on his knees^
whose back was toward him.

The knot was refractory. Si Blodgctt's coat-
tails fell apart, revealing a key-chain, one end
of which disappeared in his hip pocket.

• • • ISO • • •

THE GUESTS ATE THEIR TURNIPS DECOROUSLY

^

At-

Via-

;TC.>. ^^ --^^ ^'"'^

■> .*

^nS.

EQUUS MINOR, DETECTIVE

" There!'* whispered Galatea. "See that
patch ! ''

" Wait ! '* said the Poet. " The psychologi-
cal moment approaches — Ah ! **

With a sudden rush the colt fell upon Si
Blodgett*s rear, nipped savagely at the region
of his hip pocket, and backed away triumph-
antly with his teeth closed on a chain from
which a bunch of keys dangled. The man
yelled in fright, then, seeing what was in the
colt's mouth, as Gabriel sprang forward to cap-
ture the aggressor, he jumped up, exclaiming:

"Never mind, Gabe; he'll drop 'em in a
minute."

" Clarence ! " said Galatea softly.

The colt took a high-kicking turn about the
chestnut tree, swinging the keys from his teeth,
and then trotted up to the girl and dropped
them in her hand. Si Blodgett reached for
them, but Amanda was too quick for him.

...151

• * •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

" W'y, of all things/' she said, holding one
of the keys in a firm grip, " if here ain*t that
lost key of our henhouse ! *'

Si Blodgett's face turned red, then pale, and
then he laughed nervously.

" Ye don't say. Sister Amanda. I was won-
derin' if it was yourn, the day I found it in —
in th' road."

Gabriel was beginning to look dangerous, but
he could n't resist a thrust at Amanda.

" What do ye go 'round sowin', henhouse
keys for, Mandy? Expect to raise a crop of
emr

" I left that key in the henhouse door," said
Amanda stubbornly, " an' that 's all there is to
it."

" O Lord, how long, how long ! " groaned
Si Blodgett, returning to his exhorter manner.
" But I don't bear malice. I '11 take my basket
and go on my way in peace."

• • • 152 • • •

EQUUS MINOR, DETECTIVE

** You *11 stop right where you are. Si Blod-
gett ! '* thundered Gabriel.

"Oh — er — Mr. Blodgett/' drawled the
Poet, coming forward amiably. "I believe you
have the reputation of being an earnest worker
in — er — in the Lord's vineyard?*'

" If some have been brought to the throne
of grace through my exhortations, it's only
the Lord's mercy. I make no boast. I will be
humble. I will take my basket and go."

He stooped to pick up the basket, above
whose rim peeped four little Guinea chicks.
The Poet's gentle hand restrained him.

"Perhaps you'd better go, Mr. Blodgett —
presently. But if I were you I 'd leave the bas-
ket, and — er — its contents."

"I — I don't quite understand," said Si
Blodgett weakly.

" Why," said the Poet mildly, " one who is
engaged in your chosen work of — er^ — of

• • • 153 • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

saving souls ought to neglect no opportunity
of pointing a useful moral. Now, here is this
little matter of circumstantial evidence which
seems to convict a — er — a holy man of rob-
bing his neighbor's hennery."

" Prove it ! prove it ! I defy ye ! " snarled Si
Blodgett.

" Be calm, Mr. Blodgett. Let us consider the
subject from the standpoint of the exhorter.
Imagine yourself addressing an assemblage of
young men — young men who are a little wild,
we will say, who have raided watermelon
patches, and are in a fair way to break into
their neighbors* henneries. Think of the eflFect
upon those young minds when you tell them
about the lost key of a looted henroost found
in your pocket ! "

Si Blodgett laughed. "What does a key
prove?''

" Then," continued the Poet, "you go on to

• • • J SiJ> * * *

EQUUS MINOR, DETECTIVE

tell about the contributory evidence — the fact
that the real thief wore dark trousers with a
blue stripe, just like your own.**

"How do ye know he did?** snarled Si
Blodgett, casting an uneasy glance down the legs
of his dark trousers with their blue stripe.

"Just like your own,** the Poet went on,
** because, as the real thief was carrying off the
valuable eggs he *d come for, a yearling colt put
his head through a window into the hennery
and playfully nipped him in the region of his
hip pocket, tearing away a ragged square of
cloth, which was found hanging to a nail on the
window-ledge the next morning.**

The Poet took Clarence*s trophy from his
pocket and examined it reflectively. Si Blod-
gett*s knees shook, and his mouth hung open.

"Finally/* said the Poet, "you might drive
home your useful moral by explaining to your
young hearers that your own dark trousers with

• • • 155 ' • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

their blue stripe bore a patch the exact size and
shape of the square of cloth torn from those of
the robber of henroosts — Why, Mr. Blod-
gett ! "

At mention of the patch, the exhorter had
turned and fled toward the road.

" Hi, there ! Si ! Si Blodgett ! " yelled Ga-
briel.

" No,*' said the Poet, restraining him. "You
have a good, serviceable basket, and four fine,
lusty Golden Guinea chicks — worth four dol-
lars a pair. Don't be greedy."

" Clarence, you 're a wonder ! " said Galatea,
with her arm about the colt's neck.

" Mandy," said Gabriel, "you put these here
chicks with their brothers an' sisters in th' hen-
house — an' don't go 'round sowin' no more
keys."

TAURUS CUPID. ESQ.

VI

Taurus Cupid, Esq.

jocund Summer merged in-
to placid Autumn, Gustavius
throve mightily and waxed
iaX. His shoulders broadened,
his voice deepened, his sharp-
pointed horns acquired a high polish through
painstaking iriction upon every available object,
and became rigidly embedded in his thickening
skull. He could summon the red glow to his
eyes in moments of anger, and he exulted in the
knowledge that his stout heart was bursting with
courage. Gustavius was putting bull-calfhood
forever behind him, and each day brought him
increased yearnings for valorous deeds.

In view of this physical and moral transfor-
mation, Gustavius wondered at his tolerance of
I57--

GAMBOLLIN G WITH GALATE A

the familiarities still recklessly practiced by his
comrades. But how could he stoop so low as to
enforce respect from a pig or a goat ? The dog
was eliminated from the problem, because it was
a dog's natural prerogative to nip at the heels of
superiority and avoid punishment by flight. As
for the mare, she was uniformly courteous, and
the playfulness of the colt disarmed him.

Concerning the two-legged members of the
family, Gustavius felt himself the victim of
hereditary respect for the sternly authoritative
person called Gabe, and there was something
so soothing in the manner of the lank, long-
limbed man who spent most of his time loung-
ing about the veranda that it was impossible to
offer him any sort of challenge. The red-headed
girl — ah ! Gustavius was not ashamed to con-
fess to himself that the bare sight of her made
him glow with docile affection.

"And yet," said Reginald impudently, —

• • • I Co • • •

TAURUS CUPID, ESQ.

for Gustavius's later reflections had uncon-
sciously resolved themselves into speech, as he
stood writh his comrades in the afternoon
shade of the willows, — "and yet a bit of
anything else as red as that girl's hair sends you
into convulsions of rage. Talk about incon-
sistency — '*

" Shut up, pig ! " said Clarence. "You're
jealous/'

Suddenly Gustavius began to bellow and paw
the earth.

"What disturbs you, my son?'* inquired
Mrs. Cowslip, between the finish of one cud
and the beginning of another.

" It *s that rank outsider again, who is for-
ever butting in with that vile-smelling red
wagon,'* said Gustavius, lifting his nose toward
the lawn. " He angers me beyond words. I *ve
laid for him a hundred times, but he has n't a
drop of sporting blood in his body ; he 's for-

• • • I cq • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

ever hanging on to the skirts of the red-headed

girl."

Galatea and the Artist, carrying a long, flat

box between them, were walking about the
lawn midway between the house and the wil-
lows. Presently they found a smooth, level
space, opened the box, and proceeded to drive
into the ground two gaudily painted stakes and
some arches of wire,

" It *s very annoying the way that chap *s
always about nowadays,'* admitted Reginald.
" I was just thinking of going up to get my back
scratched, but it 's no use now."

"My time will come one of these days,**
said Gustavius. " Just let me catch that chap
alone once, that *s all ! '* And he began indus-
triously sharpening his horns on the stone
fence.

It was nothing short of wonderful, the influ-
ence unconsciously exerted by the Poet*s sister

• • • 100 • • •

TAURUS CUPID, ESQ.

over these four-legged comrades whom she had
captivated on the very day of her arrival, as you
cannot fail to remember. Now Mrs. Cowslip,
Cleopatra, Clarence, Reginald, and William,
who ordinarily prided himself on his independ-
ence of action, left the grateful shade of the
willows, and, with perfimctory nibblings at
grass, of which they were already over-full,
slowly approached the scene of preparations for
that ancient and honorable game called croquet.
Soon that influence was too powerful even to be
resisted by Gustavius, notwithstanding the hated
presence of the Artist, and he moved sulkily
after the others.

The Artist was pensive, and occasionally, as
his adoring glance rested on Galatea's graceful
figure, he sighed. His attention being thus di-
vided, it was not strange that he should miss the
second arch.

" How foolish of you ! ** she said. ** I can

• • • i6i • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

now save you further exertions by taking your
ball around with me/*

Being already past the first side arch and in
position for the middle one, with the Artist's
ball an easy victim, she was able to make good
her promise. The Artist could not regret his
inevitable defeat; it left him free to follow
Galatea about and pour into her ears a lover's
woes.

" Sweetheart, why do you continue so cold
and distant to me P One would suppose that
when a girl is engaged — '*

"Arthur, take your foot away from that
arch ! "

With beautiful precision she made the long
split '* stroke, and was safe for the first stake.
As I was saying, dear, when a girl is en-
gaged— ''

" Arthur ! you are trying to make me miss
the stake ! Can't you play fair ? "

• • • 162 • • •

TAURUS CUPID, ESQ.

" I 'm not playing at all, darling. I can't
play. I can't eat. I can't sleep. One would
expect a little mercy from a girl who wears
his engagement — "

"There ! you moved your ball just as I was
about to strike for it ! "

The Artist groaned and replaced the ball.
She plumped her own into it dexterously from
half-way across the field, and proceeded on the
home stretch.

" I don't know how long I *m going to stand
this suspense," sighed the Artist, " and yet you
resist all my pleadings to name the day — "

" Arthur, / am playing croquet. Will you
kindly stand one side?"

She played safely up to the last arch.

" If the date was fixed, dear, I think I could
bear your lack of — enthusiasm ; that is, if the
date were reasonably near — "

" Can't you keep away fi-om the handle of

• • • 163 • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

my mallet, Arthur ? Now I *m staked on your
ball, and must risk all on one last stroke/'
Oh, you'll make it,'' groaned the Artist.
I wish that ball was my head. Any sort of
attention would be better than none at all. I ' ve
lost all hope of getting another kiss — "

" Ha ! Whitewashed ! whitewashed ! " sang
the girl, dancing about the stake. " Perhaps
there's some other game you play?"

The Artist sat down on the grass with his
head in his hands.

" Does your head ache, Arthur ?"

" My heart aches. Darling, have pity on mc
and name the day when we two — "

"Why, certainly — Wednesday."

The Artist leaped to his feet.

" Day after to-morrow — how happy you
make me ! "

" Oh, I have n't decided on any particular
Wednesday."

• • • lOi^ • • •

TAURUS CUPID, ESQ,

He threw himself back on the grass.

"But I've a feeling that it will be some
Wednesday, Arthur, dear/*

Then she stooped over quickly and kissed
him.

" I wondered whether Arthur would have
sufficient diplomacy to let you win, Galatea,'*
said the Poet, with a perfectly straight face,
his approach having been unobserved ; " but it
seems that I did him an injustice.'*

" I don't know what you mean," said Gala-
tea with dignity ; " but if you want to make it
a three-handed game, I '11 undertake to white-
wash you both."

** Oh, there 's nothing in it for me," drawled
the Poet aggravatingly ; " however, I 'm oblig-
ing by nature ; I don't mind simplifying things
for Arthur."

Galatea, with her nose in the air, sent her
ball through the first two arches with a single

• • • 165 • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

stroke, and with the two thus gamed took
position, made the third arch, and with a swift
safe drive for the middle one, which she missed,
found herself well out of the way of hostile
balls.

" There,'' she said ; " I don't mind giving
you the advantage by starting first.**

" Your generosity deserves a better reward/*
said the Poet, as he selected a mallet with great
care, " but some twenty years' observation of
the game has taught me that the croquet field
is where friendship ceases/*

The Poet's lank, knobby figure was about as
symmetrical as that of a daddy-longlegs, but
he had the eye of a champion marksman, and
no nerves at alL He followed his sister's tactics,
and improved upon them. He took his position
at the third arch with such nicety that in
striking through it he sent his ball to within a
yard of where Galatea's lay.

• • • i66 * • *

TAURUS CUPID, ESQ.

** Any odds ? '* he asked coolly, as he clicked
them together.

Galatea was scornfully silent. The Poet's
** split '' for position at the centre arch was de-
fective, and with brutal disregard of the Art-
ist's feelings he took position directly in line
with the two first arches.

" Arthur," ordered Galatea, ** come straight
through and use your two strokes to get
George's ball."

** Oh, well, if you 're going to play partners
against me 1 " And the Poet threw down his
mallet.

** There 's no rule against coaching," snapped
Galatea.

But the Artist's mind was not on croquet.
The game resolved itself into a contest between
the Poet and his sister as to which should take
the greatest liberties with his ball. Thus they
were neck and neck at the centre arch on the

• • • 167 • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

home stretchy with the Artist still at his second
arch. Galatea missed, and the Poet found him-
self in cocksure position for the last two arches
and the stake.

By this time all the four-legged members of
the firm of Bos, Equus and Co. had drawn near
and were watching the progress of the game
with lively curiosity. Reginald, with his cus-
tomary assurance, now advanced with ingra-
tiating grunts out of the side of his mouth, and
rubbed his side against the Poet's leg, who had
a sudden inspiration.

" Two to one I can make it with the pig's
legs for arches," he said.

Galatea experienced renewed hope. The
Poet cajoled Reginald into standing between
the two arches with his kinked tail resting upon
the one nearest the stake. There was a narrow,
though clear, space between his legs, in line
with the arches.

• • • lOo • • •

ALL THE FOUR-LEGGED MEMBERS OF THE FIRM HAD

DRAWN NEAR

.J:'V YORK

■ ■■•RY

:kJ

TAURUS CUPID, ESQ.

" Attention, Reginald ! " and the Poet struck
his ball with just the requisite force to send it
through the two arches.

Unfortunately, at that instant Reginald sat
down, and the ball, striking his fat stomach,
bounced hopelessly out of position. Galatea
dropped on the grass and shrieked.

" I '11 give you the game,*' said the Poet.
*• It 's an antiquated pastime, anyhow.'*
Sour grapes," laughed Galatea.
Not at all. I 've thought of an improve-
ment, that 's all," said the Poet. " Stay where
you are, Reginald. William, come here."

The goat put his nose in the Poet's hand and
followed him to the other end of the field,
where he suffered himself to be stationed be-
tween the two arches opposite the pig. Over the
two arches on one side the Poet stationed Cleo-
patra and Clarence, and opposite them Mrs.
Cowslip and Gustavius. The bull-calf wrinkled

• • • 100 • • •

€€
€€

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

his yellow nose and looked mutinous, while his
comrades seemed much gratified. Then the
Poet went calmly around the field and pulled
up all the arches, except the centre one, and
said : —

** There, all we lack is a camel or an elephant
for the centre — but nothing is perfect in this
world, at the start/'

"George,** said Galatea, wiping her eyes^
" for out-and-out idiocy you certainly take the
prize/'

"Not at all. That's what's said at first
about every great discoverer. There has n't been
a single improvement in this game in seven
hundred years. Now for the first time in his-
tory you 're going to see croquet played with
living arches — Ouch ! "

Clarence had made a sudden playful leap
from his position and nipped the Poet's lean
thigh. He was led back and admonished so

• • • 170 • • •

TAURUS CUPID, ESQ.

severely that he meekly refrained from making
any further demonstrations.

With perfect gravity the Poet led Galatea
and the Artist in a game of croquet calculated
to make history. If Mrs. Cowslip had not
kicked the Poet's ball clear off the field when it
bounced smartly against her tenderest pastern^
and if Gustavius had not destroyed the Artist's
nerve by bellowing hoarsely in his ear at a crit-
ical momeht, it would have been a bewilder-
ing success.

^ Anyway," said the Poet, when Galatea had
won through rank favoritism on the part of
Reginald, who refrained from sitting down in
ift^r critical moment, "anyway, we Ve given one
more demonstration that all are born free and
equal in the firm of Bos, Equus and Co., even
when it comes to croquet.**

^ One thing I don't understand,*' said the Art-
ist, who, being in love, was quite hopelessly

... I y I • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

serious^ '^ and that is how you manage these
animals turned out loose this way, when they
become unruly, as all animals are apt to at
times/'

" The learned Professor of whom we rented
this place, and who attended to their early edu-
cation, did n't neglect that point,** answered the
Poet, with a solemn glance at Galatea which
brought before her mind's eye a vision of their
first exciting experience with William and Gus-
tavius. " In times of mutiny one magic word
uttered by the Professor brought them to their
senses completely humbled."

** Indeed ! " said the Artist. "This is most
interesting. I Ve heard of such methods being
used by animal trainers. What is that word,
George ? "

" Its efficacy, Arthur, consists in the rarity
of its use. It is pronounced only as a last resort,
as familiarity would breed contempt for it

• • • 172

■• • •

TAURUS CUPID, ESQ.

The word, Arthur, is** — and he whispered in
the Artist's ear — " Abracadabra/'

And Galatea related the circumstances of
their single observation of its potency, — as
recorded in the early part of this veracious
chronicle, — with special stress on the advan-
tages offered by a low-limbed cherry tree in case
of pursuit by an enraged bull-calf.

"What you have told me is really wonder-
ful,*' said the Artist. " Never again will I doubt
that domestic animals are possessed of reason-
ing powers, as well as capacity for affection.**

" Here comes Gabriel,'* said Galatea. " He
looks alarmed. I wonder what has happened ? '*

Gabriel caught his breath and said, address-
ing the Poet : —

"Si Blodgett fell off a haystack an* thinks
he *s goin* to die. He wants to confess about
them eggs.**

" Oh, the poor man ! ** said Galatea.

• • • 1 73 * • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

" This is n*t the first time I Ve been mis-
taken for a clergyman — that is, at first sight,"
said the Poet. " Is he really badly hurt, Ga-
briel ? "

" They ain't no bones broke, but Si *s groanin'
somethin' terrible an' says it *s his insides/*

"But he can't want me^' said the Poet.
" Why, I put together the links of circum-
stantial evidence that proved he stole the

eggs-"

" That 's jest it. Si says you 're th* Lord's in-
strument sent to awaken his sleepin' conscience
— darn him ! — an' he 's afraid of hell-fire if
you don't come an' hear his confession."

" Poor man ! " said Galatea, with tears in
her eyes. " Come, George, I '11 go with you.
It 's only a step. Arthur, you wait here ; we '11
soon be back."

Conducted by Gabriel, they disappeared down
the road, and the Artist was alone with his fate.

• • • ^'J/L • • • — ■

N

TAURUS CUPID, ESQ.

He had no premonition of disaster. He lay on
the grass with his eyes closed, wrapped in the
joys and miseries of being in love.

The living croquet-arches, with one im-
pulse, got their heads together and considered
the situation.

^' I, for one, shall go and take a look around
the kitchen,'* said Clarence.

" It *s the roof of the house for me,** said
William ; " I have n't had a good view of the
surrounding country since strawberry-time.**

"What about that chap on the grass?** asked
Gustavius. "What will he be doing?**

"That reminds me,** said Reginald ; " now *s
your chance, Gustavius. You *ve been longing
to catch him alone.**

The bull-calf shook his horns sulkily. " I
kind of hate to do it. He seems to be a friend
of the red-headed girl.**

" Besides, my son,** observed Mrs. Cowslip,

• • • 175 ' • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

" none of our race ever attacks a sleeping per-

son.

"Leave that to me/* said Reginald; "it's
time an example should be made of these out-
siders/'

Clarence agreed with him. They began cir-
cling around the prostrate enemy, gradually
drawing nearer, nipping at his legs or arms and
darting away, until at length Clarence's teeth
brought their victim to his feet with a yell of
mingled surprise and pain. But the Artist was
not of a vengeful disposition.

"Ha! ha!" he laughed, "you're spoiling
for a frolic, I see ! "

He ran toward the colt and then turned, as
though inviting pursuit. The invitation was
accepted with a unanimity that thoroughly
alarmed the Artist. Even Mrs. Cowslip and
Cleopatra were making hostile demonstrations,
while William was backing away with a signifi-

• • • 176 • • •

TAURUS CUPID, ESQ.

cance that caused the Artist to seize a croquet
mallet as he dodged about the field. This was
enough for the bull-calf, who began bellowing
and pawing the earth, while his eyes turned
red.

" Good fellows ! good boys ! *' said the Art-
ist, holding out his hand.

But they gathered about him closer yet, with
snorts, bellows, and grunts which convinced the
Artist it was time to exert authority. So he
shouted in a stern voice : —

" Away ! To the barn, all of you ! *'

For answer the indignant pig ran between
his legs, all but upsetting him, and the others
crowded in closer yet. Thoroughly frightened,
the Artist decided that extreme measures were
justifiable. Recalling the magic word whis-
pered in his ear by the Poet, he raised his hand
and thundered : —

"ABRACADABRA!"

• • • 177 * * *

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

The effect was instantaneous^ but disconcert-
ing. After one instant of general stupefaction,
Clarence stood on his hind-legs with his fore-
feet beating the air, and addressed his compan-
ions in a shrill whinny, which they readily
understood to mean : —

''What! Shall a miserable interloper pre-
sume so far ! "

'' Let me at him ! "' roared the bull-calf, with
horns low and tail high.

The Artist turned and fled, with Gustavius
bellowing at his heels, urged on by his com-
rades following close behind. Straight for the
house sped the fugitive. The low-limbed cherry
tree was nearer, and, luckily, he remembered
it in time. Having sufficient presence of mind
at the last moment to fling his forty-dollar
Panama hat into Gustavius's face, he swung
himself into the tree, and was safe.

Gustavius kept one eye on him while prac-

• • • 170 • • •

TAURUS CUPID, ESQ.

ticing on the hat, which was presently only an
expensive memory.

Clarence, finding the kitchen door open,
walked in. Py way of a rain-water barrel, the
woodshed, and the water-tank,William mounted
to the peak of the house roof and proceeded
to enjoy the prospect. Reginald made himself
comfortable in a veranda rocker. Mrs. Cowslip
found the soft earth of the tulip-bed conducive
to somnolence and cud-chewing, while Cleo-
patra grazed near by on some late pansies. Such
was the scene that presented itself to Gala-
tea when she returned alone, having found Si
Blodgett more scared than hurt.

**Why, Arthur!'* she exclaimed. "What
are you doing up there?'*

" Call off your bull-calf, and I '11 come down
and tell you." The Artist was annoyed.

" Gustavius ? Why, he would n't hurt a
fly."

• • • I70' • •

i

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

** Would n't he ? Just look at my forty-dol-
lar Panama ! "

" Oh, Arthur, surely there must be some
mistake — some misunderstanding."

" It 's past the misunderstanding stage when
I *m treed like this/*

" You must have said something that offended
Gustavius. He's terribly sensitive, poor fel-
low ! "

'^ Said something ! I treated them like friends
and fellow citizens till they all set upon me at
once; then, seeing it was a conspiracy, I said
* Abracadabra,* of course/*

" Oh, Arthur ! You forgot that you had no
right — that you were not a member of our
family — yet/*

" They seemed to remember it all right —
especially the bull-calf. I nearly burst a blood-
vessel getting up here.**

" It is really most unfortunate, Arthur/' She

• • • loO* • •

TAURU S CUPID, ESQ.

looked about her, at the late pansies, at the
tulip-bed, and at the house roof, and said re-
proachfully : " William ! Mrs. Cowslip ! Cleo-
patra ! ''

The goat came meekly down from the roof
The cow and the mare walked slowly off to-
ward the barn, much mortified.

" You don't seem to mind Gustavius — and
me,*' complained the Artist.

Galatea sat on the grass and took off her
hat.

" You may come down presently, Arthur. I
have long wanted to say certain things to you,
but you are so impulsive in your — in various
ways, that it seemed necessary for me to wait
for some such opportunity as this, when you
are — otherwise occupied. Arthur, you have
pressed me to name a day for a certain cere-
mony — "

She was interrupted by a bellow from Gus-

• •• lol •••

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

taviuSy consequent upon a sudden movement of
the Artist, who immediately concluded not to
forsake his perch.

" Must you interrupt me, Arthur ? *'

"I didn't; it was the bull-calf; I don't
bellow."

" Well, Arthur, I v)mld oblige you and set a
date for our wedding if I were quite sure that
we understand each other."

" Galatea, there 's nothing to understand ex-
cept that I love you to the extinction of every
other thought or feeling, and always shall."
He paused to regain his balance, for the tree
was a small one, and swayed under the stress of
his emotion.

" Then, dear, if I set an early date, will you
promise faithfully to love me in all my moods,
no matter what I say or do, and never be angry,
or dispute with me about anything ? "

" Bless you, my darling ! I swear it ! "

• • • Io2 • • •

TAURUS CUPID, ESQ.

" Have you no misgivings, Arthur ? '*
" None, none ! Not one ! ''
" Not even when you remember that my
hair is red?*'

" I adore red hair ! ''
But not on other girls, Arthur ? "
No ; only on you, darling/'
Thank you, Arthur, dear. If the second
Wednesday in October, five weeks hence, will
suit you, then you may come down and kiss

€€
€€
€€

me.

" Galatea I '*

Gustavius pawed the earth, and he hesitated.

" Can a bull-calf stand between you and me,
Arthur ? "

" Never! ** He leaped far out from the tree
and took her in his arms.

Gustavius gave them one glance and walked
away in disgust. Being only a bull-calf, he
did not realize that he had accomplished in a

• • • lo^ • • •

GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA

T

" Eh, what 's that -. — the second Wednesday
in October ? " said the Poet.

" Why, on that happy date," said the Art-
ist, as Galatea flung her arms about his neck,
^'Bos, Equus and Co. are to take in a new
partner."

CAMBRIDGE . MASSACHUSKTT8

u • e . A

I

t

1

I

■.* *•

r

T^s